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+      The Project Gutenberg eBook of Bill The Minder, by W. Heath Robinson.
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+<pre>
+
+The Project Gutenberg EBook of Bill the Minder, by W. Heath Robinson
+
+This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with
+almost no restrictions whatsoever.  You may copy it, give it away or
+re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included
+with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org
+
+
+Title: Bill the Minder
+
+Author: W. Heath Robinson
+
+Illustrator: W. Heath Robinson
+
+Release Date: August 29, 2010 [EBook #33570]
+
+Language: English
+
+Character set encoding: ISO-8859-1
+
+*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK BILL THE MINDER ***
+
+
+
+
+Produced by Simon Gardner, Chris Curnow and the Online
+Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net (This
+file was produced from images generously made available
+by The Internet Archive)
+
+
+
+
+
+
+</pre>
+
+
+<div class="trans-note">
+<p class="center"><b>Transcriber's Notes</b></p>
+
+<p>Where changes have been made to the text these are listed <a href="#TRANS_NOTES_2">at the end of the book</a>.</p>
+
+<p>Illustrations have been repositioned only when they interrupted paragraphs in the original.
+The list of illustrations has retained the original page references.</p>
+
+<p><a href="#CONTENTS">Table of Contents.</a></p>
+
+<p><a href="#LIST_OF_ILLUSTRATIONS">List of Illustrations.</a></p>
+
+</div>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 273px;">
+<a href="images/i_cover.jpg"><img src="images/i_cover_tn.jpg" width="273" height="400" alt="" title="[Cover art]" /></a>
+</div>
+
+<hr />
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 232px;">
+<a href="images/i_002.jpg"><img src="images/i_002_tn.jpg" width="232" height="400" alt="" title="" /></a>
+</div>
+
+<hr />
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 297px;">
+<a name="FRONTISPIECE" id="FRONTISPIECE"></a><a href="images/i_005.jpg"><img src="images/i_005_tn.jpg" width="297" height="400" alt="" title="Frontispiece" /></a>
+</div>
+
+<hr />
+
+<h1><b>BILL THE MINDER</b></h1>
+
+<p class="center"><i>Written and
+illustrated by</i></p>
+
+<p class="center">W�HEATH
+ROBINSON</p>
+
+<p class="center">NEW YORK<br />
+HENRY HOLT &amp; CO�<br />
+1912</p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 299px;">
+<a name="TITLE_PAGE" id="TITLE_PAGE"></a><a href="images/i_006.jpg"><img src="images/i_006_tn.jpg" width="299" height="400" alt="" title="Title page" /></a>
+</div>
+
+<hr />
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 140px;">
+<a href="images/i_007.jpg"><img src="images/i_007_tn.jpg" width="140" height="400" alt="" title="" /></a>
+</div>
+
+<p class="center">Edinburgh: T. and A. <span class="smcap">Constable</span>, Printers to His Majesty</p>
+
+<hr />
+
+<p class="center">TO<br />
+<br />
+THE GOOD CHILDREN
+OF CHLOE AND CRISPIN
+THE GATHERER OF
+MUSHROOMS&mdash;CHAD,
+HANNIBAL, QUENTIN,
+RANDALL, NOAH, RATCHETT,
+NERO, BIDDULPH,
+KNUT, AND THE TRULY
+VIRTUOUS AND BEAUTIFUL
+BOADICEA, THIS
+BOOK IS MOST HUMBLY
+AND RESPECTFULLY DEDICATED
+BY THE FAITHFUL
+NARRATOR OF THEIR
+EVER-WONDERFUL ADVENTURES.
+</p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 248px;">
+<a name="DEDICATION" id="DEDICATION"></a><a href="images/i_008.jpg"><img src="images/i_008_tn.jpg" width="248" height="400" alt="" title="Dedication" /></a>
+</div>
+
+<hr />
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 312px;">
+<a href="images/i_009.jpg"><img src="images/i_009_tn.jpg" width="312" height="400" alt="" title="" /></a>
+</div>
+
+<hr />
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 311px;">
+<a href="images/i_010.jpg"><img src="images/i_010_tn.jpg" width="311" height="400" alt="" title="CONTENTS [Title page]" /></a>
+</div>
+<p><!-- Page viii --><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_viii" id="Page_viii">[Pg viii]</a></span></p>
+<h3><a name="CONTENTS" id="CONTENTS"></a>CONTENTS</h3>
+
+
+
+
+
+<div class="center">
+<table border="0" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" summary="Table of Contents">
+<tr><th></th><th align="right">PAGE</th></tr>
+<tr><td align="left">BILL THE MINDER</td><td align="right"><a href="#Page_1">1</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align="left">THE KING OF TROY</td><td align="right"><a href="#Page_15">15</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align="left">THE ANCIENT MARINER</td><td align="right"><a href="#Page_33">33</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align="left">THE TRIPLETS</td><td align="right"><a href="#Page_51">51</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align="left">GOOD AUNT GALLADIA</td><td align="right"><a href="#Page_65">65</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align="left">THE DOCTOR</td><td align="right"><a href="#Page_79">79</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align="left">THE RESPECTABLE GENTLEMAN</td><td align="right"><a href="#Page_97">97</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align="left">THE SICILIAN CHAR-WOMAN</td><td align="right"><a href="#Page_115">115</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align="left">THE INTERVAL</td><td align="right"><a href="#Page_133">133</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align="left">THE REAL SOLDIER</td><td align="right"><a href="#Page_147">147</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align="left">THE WILD MAN</td><td align="right"><a href="#Page_165">165</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align="left">THE MUSICIAN</td><td align="right"><a href="#Page_183">183</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align="left">THE LOST GROCER</td><td align="right"><a href="#Page_199">199</a><!-- Page ix --><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_ix" id="Page_ix">[Pg ix]</a></span></td></tr>
+<tr><td align="left">THE MERCHANT'S WIFE</td><td align="right"><a href="#Page_213">213</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align="left">THE CAMP-FOLLOWERS</td><td align="right"><a href="#Page_227">227</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align="left">THE SIEGE OF TROY</td><td align="right"><a href="#Page_241">241</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align="left">THE END</td><td align="right"><a href="#Page_255">255</a></td></tr>
+</table></div>
+
+<hr />
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 101px;">
+<a href="images/i_012.jpg"><img src="images/i_012_tn.jpg" width="101" height="400" alt="" title="" /></a>
+</div>
+
+<hr />
+
+<p><!-- Page x --><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_x" id="Page_x">[Pg x]</a></span></p>
+
+<h2><a name="LIST_OF_ILLUSTRATIONS" id="LIST_OF_ILLUSTRATIONS"></a>LIST OF ILLUSTRATIONS</h2>
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+<div class="center">
+<table border="0" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" summary="Table of Coloured Plates">
+<tr><td class="subheading" colspan="3">COLOURED PLATES</td></tr>
+<tr><td align="left"><a href="#FRONTISPIECE">FRONTISPIECE</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align="left">THE KING OF TROY COMPELLED TO ASK HIS WAY</td><td align="center"><i>To face page</i></td><td align="right"><a href="#Page_30">30</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align="left">THE SPORT OF EVERY MER-KID</td><td align="center">"</td><td align="right"><a href="#Page_48">48</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align="left">HE WAS ALWAYS AT HAND</td><td align="center">"</td><td align="right"><a href="#Page_58">58</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align="left">I FELL FROM MY POSITION</td><td align="center">"</td><td align="right"><a href="#Page_72">72</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align="left">THE LORD MAYOR HELD A LONG COUNCIL</td><td align="center">"</td><td align="right"><a href="#Page_88">88</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align="left">THE RESPECTABLE GENTLEMAN</td><td align="center">"</td><td align="right"><a href="#Page_110">110</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align="left">BASIL HERBERT DEVELOPS A CHILBLAIN</td><td align="center">"</td><td align="right"><a href="#Page_122">122</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align="left">AND LEFT HIM TO HAVE HIS CRY OUT</td><td align="center">"</td><td align="right"><a href="#Page_140">140</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align="left">REGINALD COMPLETELY LOST HIS TEMPER</td><td align="center">"</td><td align="right"><a href="#Page_156">156</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align="left">HARMLESS INDEED WERE OUR JOYS</td><td align="center">"</td><td align="right"><a href="#Page_168">168</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align="left">AND PLAYED IT FOR MY DELIGHT</td><td align="center">"</td><td align="right"><a href="#Page_190">190</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align="left">FOLLOWED HIM AT THE GREATEST SPEED</td><td align="center">"</td><td align="right"><a href="#Page_208">208</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align="left">BRINGING WITH THEM A LITTLE OLD MAN</td><td align="center">"</td><td align="right"><a href="#Page_216">216</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align="left">THEY CAME UPON A GREAT STONE SPHINX</td><td align="center">"</td><td align="right"><a href="#Page_230">230</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align="left">CLOSELY OBSERVED FROM THE WATCH TOWERS</td><td align="center">"</td><td align="right"><a href="#Page_244">244</a></td></tr>
+</table></div>
+
+
+<p>
+<!-- Page xi --><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_xi" id="Page_xi">[Pg xi]</a></span>
+</p>
+
+
+<div class="center">
+<table border="0" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" summary="Table of Illustrations">
+<tr><th align="left"></th><th align="right">PAGE</th></tr>
+<tr><td class="subheading" colspan="2">BILL THE MINDER</td></tr>
+<tr><td align="left">TITLE-PAGE</td><td align="right"><a href="#Page_1">1</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align="left">HEADPIECE</td><td align="right"><a href="#Page_2">2</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align="left">HIS HOWLS BECAME TERRIFIC</td><td align="right"><a href="#Page_7">7</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align="left">ALWAYS INVENTING NEW WAYS OF MINDING</td><td align="right"><a href="#Page_10">10</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align="left">YOUNG TOOTH-CUTTERS FORGOT THEIR TROUBLES</td><td align="right"><a href="#Page_11">11</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align="left">THE ONLY MINDER OF THE DISTRICT</td><td align="right"><a href="#Page_13">13</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align="left">TAILPIECE</td><td align="right"><a href="#Page_14">14</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td class="subheading" colspan="2">THE KING OF TROY</td></tr>
+<tr><td align="left">TITLE-PAGE</td><td align="right"><a href="#Page_15">15</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align="left">HEADPIECE</td><td align="right"><a href="#Page_16">16</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align="left">HE CLIMBED THE RICK</td><td align="right"><a href="#Page_18">18</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align="left">HE COMMENCED HIS TALE</td><td align="right"><a href="#Page_21">21</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align="left">WHAT A TIME WE HAD</td><td align="right"><a href="#Page_26">26</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align="left">TAILPIECE</td><td align="right"><a href="#Page_31">31</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align="left">VIGNETTE</td><td align="right"><a href="#Page_32">32</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td class="subheading" colspan="2">THE ANCIENT MARINER</td></tr>
+<tr><td align="left">TITLE-PAGE</td><td align="right"><a href="#Page_33">33</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align="left">HEADPIECE</td><td align="right"><a href="#Page_34">34</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align="left">I SIGN ON AS CABIN BOY</td><td align="right"><a href="#Page_39">39</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align="left">I WENT ON WITH MY SANDWICHES</td><td align="right"><a href="#Page_42">42</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align="left">FOR YEARS WE SAILED</td><td align="right"><a href="#Page_47">47</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align="left">TAILPIECE</td><td align="right"><a href="#Page_49">49</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align="left">VIGNETTE</td><td align="right"><a href="#Page_50">50</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td class="subheading" colspan="2">THE TRIPLETS</td></tr>
+<tr><td align="left">TITLE-PAGE</td><td align="right"><a href="#Page_51">51</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align="left">HEADPIECE</td><td align="right"><a href="#Page_52">52</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align="left">ENDEAVOURING TO COMFORT THE OLD MAN</td><td align="right"><a href="#Page_55">55</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align="left">WE GREW UP IN COMPARATIVE HAPPINESS</td><td align="right"><a href="#Page_58">58</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align="left">THE TRIPLETS ACCOMPANY THE ARMY</td><td align="right"><a href="#Page_63">63</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align="left">TAILPIECE</td><td align="right"><a href="#Page_64">64</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td class="subheading" colspan="2">GOOD AUNT GALLADIA</td></tr>
+<tr><td align="left">TITLE-PAGE</td><td align="right"><a href="#Page_65">65</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align="left">HEADPIECE</td><td align="right"><a href="#Page_66">66</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align="left">I JUST MANAGED TO REACH THE EGGS</td><td align="right"><a href="#Page_71">71</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align="left">I ANGLE THE AIR</td><td align="right"><a href="#Page_72">72</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align="left">I ERECTED MY POLE ON THE SAND</td><td align="right"><a href="#Page_73">73</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align="left">ITS OLD STATELY SELF AGAIN</td><td align="right"><a href="#Page_75">75</a><!-- Page xii --><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_xii" id="Page_xii">[Pg xii]</a></span></td></tr>
+<tr><td class="subheading" colspan="2">THE DOCTOR</td></tr>
+<tr><td align="left">TITLE-PAGE</td><td align="right"><a href="#Page_79">79</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align="left">HEADPIECE</td><td align="right"><a href="#Page_80">80</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align="left">FAR SOONER HAVE THE MUMPS</td><td align="right"><a href="#Page_83">83</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align="left">THE PUFF BAKER</td><td align="right"><a href="#Page_87">87</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align="left">TREATED WITH DELICIOUS JALAPS</td><td align="right"><a href="#Page_88">88</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align="left">AS SOME PATIENT PREPARED HIS DOSE</td><td align="right"><a href="#Page_89">89</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align="left">THE VERY SPARROWS GREW THIN</td><td align="right"><a href="#Page_91">91</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align="left">POSTCARD</td><td align="right"><a href="#Page_94">94</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align="left">POSTCARD</td><td align="right"><a href="#Page_95">95</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align="left">TAILPIECE</td><td align="right"><a href="#Page_96">96</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td class="subheading" colspan="2">THE RESPECTABLE GENTLEMAN</td></tr>
+<tr><td align="left">TITLE-PAGE</td><td align="right"><a href="#Page_97">97</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align="left">HEADPIECE</td><td align="right"><a href="#Page_98">98</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align="left">BOWING POLITELY TO THE PILLAR-BOXES</td><td align="right"><a href="#Page_103">103</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align="left">THE CHURCH STEEPLE HAD BEEN REMOVED</td><td align="right"><a href="#Page_104">104</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align="left">STANDING ALONE UPON THE WALL</td><td align="right"><a href="#Page_106">106</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align="left">DANGLING BY HIS LEGS</td><td align="right"><a href="#Page_109">109</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align="left">TAILPIECE</td><td align="right"><a href="#Page_113">113</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align="left">VIGNETTE</td><td align="right"><a href="#Page_114">114</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td class="subheading" colspan="2">THE SICILIAN CHAR-WOMAN</td></tr>
+<tr><td align="left">TITLE-PAGE</td><td align="right"><a href="#Page_115">115</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align="left">HEADPIECE</td><td align="right"><a href="#Page_116">116</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align="left">I TOOK LEAVE OF MY SORROWING FATHER</td><td align="right"><a href="#Page_120">120</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align="left">HARDLY DISGUISING HIS EFFORTS TO IGNORE ME</td><td align="right"><a href="#Page_121">121</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align="left">THEY WERE COMPELLED TO SEND FOR A PHYSICIAN</td><td align="right"><a href="#Page_125">125</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align="left">THE IMPROVEMENT WAS MAINTAINED</td><td align="right"><a href="#Page_129">129</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align="left">DISCOVERED A CLOVE KERNEL</td><td align="right"><a href="#Page_130">130</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align="left">VIGNETTE</td><td align="right"><a href="#Page_132">132</a><!-- Page xiii --><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_xiii" id="Page_xiii">[Pg xiii]</a></span></td></tr>
+<tr><td class="subheading" colspan="2">THE INTERVAL</td></tr>
+<tr><td align="left">TITLE-PAGE</td><td align="right"><a href="#Page_133">133</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align="left">HEADPIECE</td><td align="right"><a href="#Page_134">134</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align="left">I FELL ON TO THE PARSNIP</td><td align="right"><a href="#Page_137">137</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align="left">THEY ALL ONCE MORE STARTED</td><td align="right"><a href="#Page_138">138</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align="left">ON THEIR ADVENTUROUS JOURNEY</td><td align="right"><a href="#Page_139">139</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align="left">THE WHOLE CAMP WAS FAST ASLEEP</td><td align="right"><a href="#Page_142">142</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align="left">TAILPIECE</td><td align="right"><a href="#Page_145">145</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align="left">VIGNETTE</td><td align="right"><a href="#Page_146">146</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td class="subheading" colspan="2">THE REAL SOLDIER</td></tr>
+<tr><td align="left">TITLE-PAGE</td><td align="right"><a href="#Page_147">147</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align="left">HEADPIECE</td><td align="right"><a href="#Page_148">148</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align="left">THE REAL SOLDIER</td><td align="right"><a href="#Page_153">153</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align="left">'BUT HOLD!' CRIED THE PRESIDENT</td><td align="right"><a href="#Page_156">156</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align="left">'YOUR FATE BE UPON YOUR OWN HEAD'</td><td align="right"><a href="#Page_157">157</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align="left">FLOUNDERING ABOUT IN THE SEA</td><td align="right"><a href="#Page_159">159</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align="left">IN EXPECTATION OF THEIR LEADER</td><td align="right"><a href="#Page_161">161</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align="left">TAILPIECE</td><td align="right"><a href="#Page_163">163</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align="left">VIGNETTE</td><td align="right"><a href="#Page_164">164</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td class="subheading" colspan="2">THE WILD MAN</td></tr>
+<tr><td align="left">TITLE-PAGE</td><td align="right"><a href="#Page_165">165</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align="left">HEADPIECE</td><td align="right"><a href="#Page_166">166</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align="left">I PLEADED MY CASE</td><td align="right"><a href="#Page_169">169</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align="left">AND KILLED IT ON THE SPOT</td><td align="right"><a href="#Page_173">173</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align="left">WE COOKED ONE GREAT STEAK</td><td align="right"><a href="#Page_177">177</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align="left">TAILPIECE</td><td align="right"><a href="#Page_181">181</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align="left">VIGNETTE</td><td align="right"><a href="#Page_182">182</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td class="subheading" colspan="2">THE MUSICIAN</td></tr>
+<tr><td align="left">TITLE-PAGE</td><td align="right"><a href="#Page_183">183</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align="left">HEADPIECE</td><td align="right"><a href="#Page_184">184</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align="left">SHE NOW MADE OFF TO THE WOODS<!-- Page xiv --><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_xiv" id="Page_xiv">[Pg xiv]</a></span></td><td align="right"><a href="#Page_189">189</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align="left">HE WOULD CLIMB TO THE TOPMOST BRANCHES</td><td align="right"><a href="#Page_190">190</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align="left">SWEEPING THE DEAD LEAVES</td><td align="right"><a href="#Page_195">195</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align="left">WITH NO OTHER WEALTH THAN MY CONCERTINA</td><td align="right"><a href="#Page_197">197</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align="left">TAILPIECE</td><td align="right"><a href="#Page_198">198</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td class="subheading" colspan="2">THE LOST GROCER</td></tr>
+<tr><td align="left">TITLE-PAGE</td><td align="right"><a href="#Page_199">199</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align="left">HEADPIECE</td><td align="right"><a href="#Page_200">200</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align="left">AFFECTED BY HIS STORY</td><td align="right"><a href="#Page_205">205</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align="left">PLUMP INTO THE RIVER WE WENT</td><td align="right"><a href="#Page_206">206</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align="left">THERE GREW IN FRONT OF ME A GREAT MOUND</td><td align="right"><a href="#Page_209">209</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align="left">SNEEZING AND SNEEZING</td><td align="right"><a href="#Page_211">211</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td class="subheading" colspan="2">THE MERCHANT'S WIFE</td></tr>
+<tr><td align="left">TITLE-PAGE</td><td align="right"><a href="#Page_213">213</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align="left">HEADPIECE</td><td align="right"><a href="#Page_214">214</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align="left">MOPING ABOUT THE COMMON</td><td align="right"><a href="#Page_219">219</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align="left">KEPT HIM OUT OF MISCHIEF</td><td align="right"><a href="#Page_223">223</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align="left">GLORIOUS TARTS AND SWEETS</td><td align="right"><a href="#Page_224">224</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align="left">IT DIDN'T MATTER HOW MUCH YOU ATE</td><td align="right"><a href="#Page_225">225</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align="left">TAILPIECE</td><td align="right"><a href="#Page_226">226</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td class="subheading" colspan="2">THE CAMP-FOLLOWERS</td></tr>
+<tr><td align="left">TITLE-PAGE</td><td align="right"><a href="#Page_227">227</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align="left">HEADPIECE</td><td align="right"><a href="#Page_228">228</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align="left">THE HEADS SERVED FOR DOLLS</td><td align="right"><a href="#Page_233">233</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align="left">YOU ARE NOW OUR ONLY HOPE</td><td align="right"><a href="#Page_234">234</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align="left">I FISHED AND FISHED AND FISHED</td><td align="right"><a href="#Page_237">237</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align="left">TAILPIECE</td><td align="right"><a href="#Page_239">239</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align="left">VIGNETTE</td><td align="right"><a href="#Page_240">240</a><!-- Page xv --><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_xv" id="Page_xv">[Pg xv]</a></span></td></tr>
+<tr><td class="subheading" colspan="2">THE SIEGE OF TROY</td></tr>
+<tr><td align="left">TITLE-PAGE</td><td align="right"><a href="#Page_241">241</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align="left">HEADPIECE</td><td align="right"><a href="#Page_242">242</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align="left">PLAN OF SIEGE</td><td align="right"><a href="#Page_245">245</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align="left">THESE PARCELS WERE NOW LABELLED</td><td align="right"><a href="#Page_248">248</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align="left">AND PACKED HIM OFF TO PERSIA</td><td align="right"><a href="#Page_251">251</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align="left">TROY BECAME THE HAPPIEST TOWN</td><td align="right"><a href="#Page_253">253</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td class="subheading" colspan="2">THE END</td></tr>
+<tr><td align="left">VIGNETTE</td><td align="right"><a href="#Page_256">256</a></td></tr>
+</table></div>
+
+<hr />
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 231px;">
+<a href="images/i_018.jpg"><img src="images/i_018_tn.jpg" width="231" height="400" alt="[Knight on hobby horse]" title="" /></a>
+</div>
+
+<hr />
+
+<p><!-- Page xvi --><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_xvi" id="Page_xvi">[Pg xvi]</a></span></p>
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 224px;">
+<a href="images/i_019.jpg"><img src="images/i_019_tn.jpg" width="224" height="400" alt="" title="[Centaur in Top Hat]" /></a>
+</div>
+
+<hr />
+
+<p><!-- Page 1 --><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_1" id="Page_1">[Pg 1]</a></span></p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 301px;">
+<a href="images/i_020.jpg"><img src="images/i_020_tn.jpg" width="301" height="400" alt="" title="TITLE-PAGE [Bill the Minder]" /></a>
+</div>
+<p><!-- Page 2 --><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_2" id="Page_2">[Pg 2]</a></span></p>
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 400px;">
+<a href="images/i_021.jpg"><img src="images/i_021_tn.jpg" width="400" height="361" alt="" title="HEADPIECE" /></a>
+</div>
+
+
+
+<hr />
+<h2><a name="BILL_THE_MINDER" id="BILL_THE_MINDER"></a>BILL THE MINDER</h2>
+
+
+<p>Old Crispin, the mushroom gatherer, and
+his good wife Chloe had ten children, and
+nine of them were bad-tempered. There
+was Chad, the youngest and most bad-tempered of the
+lot, Hannibal and Quentin the twins, Randall with
+the red head, Noah, Ratchett the short-sighted, Nero
+the worrit, weeping Biddulph and Knut. The only
+good-tempered child was a little girl named Boadicea.</p>
+
+<p>It is well known that a boy usually takes after
+his father, and a girl after her mother, and these
+children were no exception to the rule, for the boys<!-- Page 3 --><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_3" id="Page_3">[Pg 3]</a></span>
+all resembled old Crispin, whose temper had been
+rather tried, poor man, by the early hours at which
+he had to rise, in order to gather the mushrooms when
+they were quite new and young. On the other hand,
+Boadicea could only have inherited her good-temper
+from Chloe, who without doubt was the most good-tempered
+dame alive.</p>
+
+<p>Now it is quite true that any one who cares to
+rise early enough in the morning may gather mushrooms,
+and plenty of them, too, but those who do so
+only now and again, and merely for amusement, little
+know the hard life of the professional gatherer, or the
+skill and judgment he has to cultivate in order to
+carry on his work with any success.</p>
+
+<p>In the course of time Crispin became so well
+skilled that he could not only tell a mushroom from a
+toadstool at the distance of two hundred yards, but
+his hearing became so acute that he could even hear
+them growing, and learnt to distinguish the sound of
+each as it broke through the earth. Indeed, he had
+no need for any alarm to wake him from his heavy
+slumbers and call him to his work in the fields.
+However cautiously a mushroom made its appearance,
+at its first rumble, old Crispin would jump from his
+hard bed, hastily dress himself, and, often without
+tasting a morsel of breakfast, be out of the house and
+on to the field in time to see the newcomer pop its
+head through the earth. This he would pick, and
+then he would hop about with his head on one side<!-- Page 4 --><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_4" id="Page_4">[Pg 4]</a></span>
+listening for others like some old starling listening for
+worms, at the same time mewing like a cat to frighten
+away the birds that prey on the mushrooms. He was
+then able to fill his basket with the very freshest crop
+and take them round to people's houses in time for
+breakfast.</p>
+
+<p>With such anxious work it will be readily understood
+that few mushroom gatherers can remain in the
+best of health for many years, and it so happened that
+in time the anxieties connected with the gathering of
+mushrooms began to affect old Crispin, so that he fell
+ill and completely lost his appetite. Chloe called in
+the doctor, but the latter at first could do nothing for
+him. He painted Crispin's chest and then his back
+with iodine; he rubbed him well with the roots of
+sarsaparilla; he made him sleep first on his right side,
+then on his left, and finally covered him in brown
+paper plasters and dock-leaf poultices and sent him
+to the sea-side with strict injunctions to take to sea-bathing,
+running, and aeroplaning, but it was all of
+no avail.</p>
+
+<p>With the assistance of Boadicea, Chloe now tried
+to tempt her husband with every known and unknown
+dish, and when these failed, like a good wife, she invented
+others. She made trifles of vegetable marrow,
+tartlets of hen feathers to soothe the nerves, salads of
+spinach and carraway comfits, delicacies composed of
+porridge and mint, and the most luscious stews of
+pine-cones and lard. She then tried him with even<!-- Page 5 --><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_5" id="Page_5">[Pg 5]</a></span>
+lighter dishes, but it was no good. He became thinner
+and thinner every day, and his temper was growing
+shorter and shorter, when at last, to her great joy, she
+succeeded in making a jelly that really seemed to
+take his fancy.</p>
+
+<p>At first there was little or no sign of improvement,
+yet he ate a very small portion of the jelly every day,
+and with this the anxious wife and daughter had to
+be contented for some time. He had remained in
+this state for weeks when Chloe resolved slightly to
+increase his portion. Finding that this did not disagree
+with him, but that, instead, he became a little
+stouter and a little better every day, she continued
+gradually giving him more and more.</p>
+
+<p>At last she discovered that the more Crispin ate of
+this jelly, the greater his appetite became. In fact, if
+the truth be told, the old gentleman became in time
+not only quite well and very stout but also somewhat
+greedy. At all events, Chloe found that instead of
+being able to devote more time to her children, after
+restoring her husband's appetite, she had to give up
+more and more time to cooking. Crispin now spent
+the whole day in eating, and things went from bad to
+very bad, and from very bad to worse. Boadicea
+assisted her mother to the utmost, yet Chloe, worked
+almost to death, was at length compelled to look out
+for a minder, in order that her children might not be
+entirely neglected.</p>
+
+<p>Many minders from all parts applied for employment,<!-- Page 6 --><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_6" id="Page_6">[Pg 6]</a></span>
+and, as a test of their skill, she set them the
+task of cheering the unfortunate Chad, who was
+cutting all his double teeth at the same time. Some
+tried to cheer him by singing to him, some by dancing
+to him; one even hoped to gladden the boy by jumping
+over him backwards and with a pleasant smile
+dropping on the grass in front of him. Again, some
+thought to distract him by running swiftly with him
+several times round the well, which only made him very
+ill. Another energetic young minder stood on his head
+in front of the child for at least ten minutes, which,
+instead of cheering the lad, nearly frightened him to
+death. One minder, more experienced than the rest,
+tried to make him forget his ache by giving him other
+aches to think of with the aid of a slipper, which he
+maintained he had succeeded in doing. However,
+he was not elected, for, try as they would, no one
+could discover for which ache the child was crying.</p>
+
+<p>Many methods were tried, but none with even the
+smallest success; in fact, the competition greatly
+increased the child's discomfort. His howls became
+terrific, and so heartrending that, as a last resource,
+Chloe sent for her nephew Bill, who cleaned the boots.
+Now no one had suspected Bill of having the makings
+of a good minder in him, but it happened that he knew
+Chad's little ways, and so, to everybody's surprise and
+relief, he easily succeeded in keeping him quiet until
+all the double teeth had been cut. Thereupon he was
+at once elected Minder to the family.<!-- Page 7 --><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_7" id="Page_7">[Pg 7]</a></span></p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 400px;">
+<a href="images/i_026.jpg"><img src="images/i_026_tn.jpg" width="400" height="265" alt="" title="" /></a>
+<span class="caption">HIS HOWLS BECAME TERRIFIC</span>
+</div>
+
+<p>Bill soon proved that he was no ordinary minder.
+Having once started on his new work, he took his
+profession very seriously. He read all the books that
+had ever been written upon the subject, which were
+to be found in the library of the British Museum. He
+talked about it with the most knowing professors of
+the subject, and he was as well known in the Minding
+Room of the Patent Museum at South Kensington as
+in his father's house. And it is even said that he once
+contrived to be shut in all night by hiding behind a
+case of red coral rattles when the policeman came
+round at dusk to shut and lock the doors.</p>
+
+<p>Moreover, as you can see for yourselves in the<!-- Page 8 --><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_8" id="Page_8">[Pg 8]</a></span>
+pictures, he was always inventing new ways of minding
+his charges. So expert did he become in time that he
+was never at a loss with the most fractious, and easily
+surpassing all rivals, he became the most perfect
+minder of the district.</p>
+
+<p>Bill's fame spread to the most distant towns, and
+worrited mothers for miles around flocked to him with
+their children. He was most successful in distracting
+the vaccinated, and under his care young tooth-cutters
+soon forgot their troubles. Even the pangs of indigestion
+were allayed and the fretfulness of the
+sleepless lulled to rest by the charm of his ways.
+Short tempers were lengthened, and terrified midnight
+wakers were taught to realise how ridiculous were
+their fears. Screechers ceased to screech, and grizzlers
+to grizzle, while weepers and howlers reformed their
+habits and learnt to chuckle throughout the day.</p>
+
+<p>If any one could mind, Bill could!</p>
+
+<p>But life was not all condensed milk and honey to
+Bill. Like all good minders and men, he had the bad
+fortune to arouse the jealousy of rivals. The unvarying
+success which met his clever treatment of the most
+difficult cases, instead of arousing the admiration of
+his brother minders, as one would have expected, and
+making them eager to imitate him, only had the effect
+of making them very cross and jealous. Some, indeed,
+became so wild that they had to be minded themselves,
+while others neglected their charges and wandered
+about the country in a dreadful state of grumpiness,<!-- Page 9 --><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_9" id="Page_9">[Pg 9]</a></span>
+biting their nails to the quick, and tearing their hair
+or anything else they could get hold of.</p>
+
+<p>The time now arrived for the great annual Minding
+Tournament, held by the Duke to celebrate his birthday,
+to which every one had been looking forward all
+through the year. Few people have ever been so
+delighted over being born as was the Duke, and this
+was how he most liked to show his joy and thankfulness.
+The prizes and cups were usually subscribed
+for by the mothers and fathers, but this year was a
+very special occasion, for the Duke, having arrived at
+the age of sixty, had decided to present a gold-mounted
+feeding-bottle to be competed for during the
+tournament.</p>
+
+<p>Everybody was there; the Duke and his Duchess
+with a handsome bouquet of marigolds and groundsel,
+presented by the wives of the policemen; the Duchess's
+cousin, the chatty old Viscount, and his sweet young
+wife; the stout old Marquis who (as every lady knows)
+is also admiral of the Regent's Canal, and his six old-maid
+daughters, who all arrived in bath chairs. The
+general was there, as a matter of course, with all his
+medals beautifully polished, and his pockets full of
+Pontefract cakes and peardrops to throw to the children.
+At least twelve bishops were present, besides
+the vicar and his eight kind curates, who made themselves
+extremely pleasant to every one.</p>
+
+<p>All the mothers and fathers of the neighbourhood
+were present, and minders were continually arriving<!-- Page 10 --><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_10" id="Page_10">[Pg 10]</a></span>
+to compete for the prizes. There were at least one
+hundred policemen to keep order, and the music was
+provided by the band of the militia, lent for this
+occasion by the kind-hearted general. Each member
+of the band performed on a separate harmonium
+borrowed from the vicar. Refreshments also could
+be had by every one who could prove that he or she
+was hungry.</p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 400px;">
+<a href="images/i_029.jpg"><img src="images/i_029_tn.jpg" width="400" height="145" alt="" title="" /></a>
+<span class="caption">ALWAYS INVENTING NEW WAYS OF MINDING</span>
+</div>
+
+<p>The first event was the egg-and-spoon race, which
+was decided in the following way. A well-pinched
+baby and a glass of milk were placed at the end of
+the course, and each competitor had to run to them
+balancing a new-laid egg on a spoon; when he had
+reached them, he had to beat up the egg in the glass
+of milk and pacify the child with the beverage. The
+competitor who did it in the shortest time won
+the prize.</p>
+
+<p>Some murmurings were heard when it was announced
+that Bill had won by two-and-a-half minutes,<!-- Page 11 --><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_11" id="Page_11">[Pg 11]</a></span>
+but these were soon drowned by the cheers of the
+crowd and the music of the harmoniums.</p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 400px;">
+<a href="images/i_030.jpg"><img src="images/i_030_tn.jpg" width="400" height="146" alt="" title="" /></a>
+<span class="caption">YOUNG TOOTH-CUTTERS FORGOT THEIR TROUBLES</span>
+</div>
+
+<p>The second event was the obstacle race, in which
+each competitor had to run with three babies in his
+arms along a course strewn with perambulators full
+of children. Over the latter he had to climb, and
+having placed his three babies in an empty perambulator
+stationed at the end of the course, wheel
+them back the same way and empty them into the
+arms of the Duke without a cry from the children.</p>
+
+<p>The loud cheers of the crowd and the roar
+of the harmoniums this time hardly drowned the
+jeering of his rivals when it was proclaimed that
+Bill had also won this race; and when he secured
+the gold-mounted feeding-bottle, presented by the
+Duke, for minding seventeen tooth-cutters and three
+indigesters, and sending them all to sleep in three
+hours and forty-five minutes, their rage was almost
+beyond their control. The cheers, the hurrahs, and<!-- Page 12 --><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_12" id="Page_12">[Pg 12]</a></span>
+the clapping of hands, as well as the soothing music
+of the harmoniums, only made them more disagreeable
+and spiteful.</p>
+
+<p>But far worse was to happen when Bill presently
+carried off the great cup for remaining shut up in a
+bathing-machine with twelve vaccinated children for
+twelve hours. Then they quite lost their tempers,
+and Bill very nearly lost his life. At least seven
+babies were hurled at him, as well as the cup and
+the bathing-machine, and Bill was only saved by the
+seven mothers of the seven hurled babies, who rushed
+forward to grapple with the hurlers, and carried Bill
+and the babies out of their reach.</p>
+
+<p>This shocking disturbance caused the vicar and
+his eight kind curates to faint, while the Duke, who,
+now having lost all interest in the proceedings, was
+only waiting to give away the prizes, turned quite
+white, and at once drove off with the Duchess in his
+motor, and never again referred to the subject. The
+general stripped off his medals in despair, and gave
+them away to the children to cut their teeth with.
+The chatty old Viscount became dumb with astonishment,
+and the twelve bishops, with heads erect and
+half-closed eyes, walked off to their cathedrals. The
+harmoniums were all put out of tune and quite spoilt
+by the efforts of the bandsmen to drown the noise,
+and the tournament was completely broken up.</p>
+
+<p>After this, as might have been foreseen, no mother
+would entrust the care of her children to any one but<!-- Page 13 --><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_13" id="Page_13">[Pg 13]</a></span>
+Bill, who became the only minder of the district.
+What became of the rivals no one ever knew for
+certain, though it has been said that they all emigrated
+to a desolate island in the Dead Sea, and
+clothed themselves in crocodile's hide with the rough
+and knobby side worn against the skin, sleeping at
+night on beds of flints with coverlets made of stinging
+nettles. It is also said that they nagged and threw
+stones at each other all through the day, and for very
+rage would eat nothing but thistles, uncooked and
+with the prickles left on, and drink nothing but cold
+vinegar for the rest of their wretched lives.</p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 400px;">
+<a href="images/i_032.jpg"><img src="images/i_032_tn.jpg" width="400" height="265" alt="" title="" /></a>
+<span class="caption">THE ONLY MINDER OF THE DISTRICT</span>
+</div>
+
+<p>Another story has it that Bill's jealous rivals all<!-- Page 14 --><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_14" id="Page_14">[Pg 14]</a></span>
+embarked for Mount Vesuvius, with the intention of
+committing suicide by plunging into the burning
+crater. But standing on its edge and gazing therein,
+they all suddenly altered their minds and walked back
+down the mountain side to Pompeii or Herculaneum,
+where they were supposed to have settled and married,
+and repented, let us hope, of their unkind and unreasonable
+behaviour.</p>
+
+<p>Whether either of these stories is true or not, it is
+certain that the rivals disappeared altogether from
+the country. Unmolested, Bill now devoted all his
+days to minding, and Randall, Noah, Knut, Biddulph,
+Nero, Ratchett, Hannibal, Quentin, Chad, and his innumerable
+other charges never left him, but wandered
+with him everywhere, even in his dreams.</p>
+
+<p>Such a minder was Bill!</p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 251px;">
+<a href="images/i_033.jpg"><img src="images/i_033_tn.jpg" width="251" height="257" alt="TAILPIECE" title="TAILPIECE" /></a>
+</div>
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<p><!-- Page 15 --><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_15" id="Page_15">[Pg 15]</a></span></p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 302px;">
+<a href="images/i_034.jpg"><img src="images/i_034_tn.jpg" width="302" height="400" alt="" title="TITLE-PAGE [The King of Troy]" /></a>
+</div>
+<p><!-- Page 16 --><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_16" id="Page_16">[Pg 16]</a></span></p>
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 379px;">
+<a href="images/i_035.jpg"><img src="images/i_035_tn.jpg" width="379" height="400" alt="" title="HEADPIECE" /></a>
+</div>
+
+
+<hr />
+
+<h2><a name="THE_KING_OF_TROY" id="THE_KING_OF_TROY"></a>THE KING OF TROY</h2>
+
+
+<p>Now it happened one morning as Bill was
+shepherding his little flock across the
+downs, whither they loved to ramble on
+a fine summer's day, that Hannibal, Quentin, and
+Boadicea came running up to him with the wonderful
+tidings that they had discovered a real golden crown
+lying on the top of a hayrick. Bill hastened to the
+spot, and there, sure enough, was a most beautiful
+crown, ornamented with what he took to be priceless<!-- Page 17 --><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_17" id="Page_17">[Pg 17]</a></span>
+gems. Looking all round and seeing no one to whom
+it might belong, he climbed the rick and attempted
+to remove the treasure. But, try as he would, it still
+resisted his efforts, until at last, with one mighty
+wrench, he seemed to elicit a groan from the depths
+of the rick, and presently the crown arose apparently
+of its own accord and disclosed the head of an aged
+man firmly fixed therein. Soon his neck, then his
+shoulders appeared, as gradually the old fellow lifted
+himself from his place of hiding and climbed down the
+sides of the rick and stood trembling in the midst of the
+children, who now wonderingly gathered round him.</p>
+
+<p>Having recovered from his agitation, and being
+greatly encouraged by Bill's kindly inquiries and
+genial manners, the royal old boy proceeded to
+account for his strange appearance on the downs.</p>
+
+<p>'Prepare yourselves, you bantlings, and you, their
+noble curator, for the most astounding revelations;
+and those of you who are nerveful or softish in any
+way, hide your chubby heads in this old rick, that no
+word of my story of woes may enter your ears and so
+curdle your simple minds.'</p>
+
+<p>At this young Chad and some of the others set up
+a terrible hullabaloo, but Bill soon comforted them,
+and then, seated in a circle on the grass around the
+old fellow, they made themselves comfortable and
+prepared to listen to his story.</p>
+
+<p>'Are you all fit?' demanded the old gent.
+'Yes,' shouted Bill and his charges in reply.<!-- Page 18 --><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_18" id="Page_18">[Pg 18]</a></span>
+'Well, here goes then.' And he commenced his
+tale in the following way:&mdash;</p>
+
+<p>'I am that King of Troy who ruled over his
+subjects with such wisdom and justice that the
+greatest happiness prevailed amongst them!'</p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 400px;">
+<a href="images/i_037.jpg"><img src="images/i_037_tn.jpg" width="400" height="176" alt="" title="" /></a>
+<span class="caption">HE CLIMBED THE RICK</span>
+</div>
+
+<p>'We've heard that before,' murmured Chad, but
+ignoring the interruption, the King of Troy continued
+his story:&mdash;</p>
+
+<p>'Safely protected from baseness of every description,
+from robbery, from the ill effects of envy, and
+from unworthy tricksters of every colour, by the stern,
+yet just rule under which they happily lived, the
+Trojans throve and pursued their various trades with
+unvarying success. All amassed a considerable fortune,
+and as their wealth increased, so did their pride
+in the beloved city of their birth. All contributed
+most willingly to the upkeep of their sovereign, and
+the ever-increasing state which I was expected to<!-- Page 19 --><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_19" id="Page_19">[Pg 19]</a></span>
+hold was paid for down to the last farthing by the
+noble fellows.</p>
+
+<p>'The well-meaning creatures at length gave no
+rest to their poor old king, and as their prosperity
+grew, they raised him to a more and more exalted,
+and at the same time increasingly uncomfortable,
+position above them. Heavier and heavier grew the
+robes of state to suit the swelling dignity of the city:
+more and more overloaded with gold, with jewels,
+with filigree silver and enamelled bronze became the
+crown, until so ponderous had grown the regalia that
+I could hardly support it. But no pity had the gallant
+lads. Mistaking the signs of my gradually drooping
+spirits for the signs of undue modesty, they slapped
+me on the back again and again, and with joyful
+shouts endeavoured to instil into my dejected soul
+some of their own abundant ardour.</p>
+
+<p>'With my own personal dignity, the number of
+ceremonials and functions I was expected to endure
+also increased. Town hall after town hall was built,
+and bazaars without end were held especially to be
+opened by myself. But in time even this doubtful
+relaxation ceased, and so high did my subjects raise
+me that few of them dared to approach me, and then
+only on bended knees. As for speaking familiarly
+with me, none had the temerity to attempt it. Perpetual
+state I was now compelled to keep, and never
+for an instant permitted to leave my throne or doff
+my royal robes, except for one short hour in the<!-- Page 20 --><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_20" id="Page_20">[Pg 20]</a></span>
+morning to perform ablutions in the regal tub, and
+even then I was not allowed to remove my crown.
+Seated on my throne from morning until night, overburdened
+by the weight of my crown and the heavily
+brocaded and bejewelled robes, I felt as lonely as a
+stranded limpet in the middle of the Sahara desert.</p>
+
+<p>'At last things came to such a pass, that, except
+perhaps to bring me food or drink, not one of my
+subjects would dare to draw nearer than to the outer
+door of my ante-room, and even there they would fall
+upon their faces and grovel in the dust and quake, so
+that the very clicking of their bones could be distinctly
+heard from my place upon the throne, as they
+trembled in every joint.</p>
+
+<p>'Ah, how I missed the old days,&mdash;the cheerful
+cup of tea, the pipe of baccy and the homely game of
+dominoes with that primest of all Prime Ministers.
+How gladly would I have snatched from the royal
+board the dainties now prepared for me,&mdash;the asparagus
+truffles, the prawn cutlets, the anchovy jelly,
+and suchlike, and hurled from me the trivial and
+shimmering mass, tweaking my old rascal of a waiter
+by the nose, and calling for a hunk of bread and
+some cheese. Even my sparkling and frolicsome old
+chum, the Prime Minister, had seemingly quite forgotten
+our loyal chumship and never appeared before
+me now except upon his hands and knees and with
+his head bent low to the ground. And what of my
+old friend the Secretary of State? Where were his<!-- Page 21 --><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_21" id="Page_21">[Pg 21]</a></span>
+gibes, his playful fancies, his quirks and rare conceits,
+the droll! Alas, only rarely now could I glimpse the
+rogue, and with real sorrow did I see his erstwhile
+bonny and jovial old face distorted by expressions of
+the most abject servility. And that respectful mute,
+the Minister of Education, does he dream that I forget
+his winsome pranks and jokes? Does he imagine for
+a moment that those glorious evenings, when the four
+of us used to meet and gladden the very stars by the
+sounds of our joviality, were nothing to me? Alas,
+in my solitude what would have befallen me but for
+those sweet memories!</p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 400px;">
+<a href="images/i_040.jpg"><img src="images/i_040_tn.jpg" width="400" height="181" alt="" title="" /></a>
+<span class="caption">HE COMMENCED HIS TALE</span>
+</div>
+
+<p>'One evening the Prime Minister appeared on
+his hands and knees at the door of the throne-room,
+bearing on a little plate upon his back the slight
+supper that was served to me in this strange manner
+every evening. With drooping head, and visibly<!-- Page 22 --><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_22" id="Page_22">[Pg 22]</a></span>
+quaking with awe, he gradually crawled near, and
+when at the foot of the throne placed the supper (a
+mere anchovy truffle on toast) before me and fell flat
+on his face, writhing at my feet.</p>
+
+<p>'Who can describe my feelings as I bent over
+him and witnessed this degradation, this prostration
+before me, of one who had revelled with me, who had
+slapped me on the back in pure amity, and who, in
+days of yore, had gambolled, frisked, and carolled the
+most enchanting glees with me. A great hot tear fell
+from my left eye as I gazed, and the startled wretch
+leapt to his feet as it splashed upon his bald crown
+and trickled down its glossy sides, leaving a red and
+glowing spot where it had fallen. No words of mine
+could describe the misery expressed on the face of the
+unhappy man as he took one hasty glance at me, full
+of the deepest meaning, and rushed from the room
+weeping bitterly. Alas! he, too, remembered.</p>
+
+<p>'No heart had I now for the anchovy truffle, nor
+indeed for the toast, both of which I tossed lightly
+from me. I gave up my mind to most melancholy
+reflections. Night drew on, and one by one I could
+hear the ministers and domestics creeping up stealthily
+to bed, and at nine o'clock all the electric lights in the
+palace were switched off, and I was left in total darkness
+and in solitude. Still I brooded on my throne,
+unable to sleep for the weight of my robes and for
+the sad thoughts that passed through my mind, and
+mechanically counted the hours as they stole slowly by.<!-- Page 23 --><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_23" id="Page_23">[Pg 23]</a></span></p>
+
+<p>'At length the clock in the hall downstairs struck
+eleven, and as the last beat echoed through the empty
+rooms, a light appeared underneath the door opposite
+the throne. Little heed did I give to this at first,
+imagining that one of the ministers, on retiring, had
+omitted to remove his boots and leave them in the
+hall, and was now returning to place them there.
+The light, however, remained, and to my increasing
+wonderment some one tried the handle of the door,
+which was then opened very cautiously and in there
+crept, on hands and knees, my old friend the Prime
+Minister. As soon as he was well within the room
+and had quietly closed the door, he leapt to his feet
+and executed the most astonishing capers that were
+ever danced. With the liveliest satisfaction expressed
+all over his mobile features, he pirouetted round the
+room with the greatest animation, and daringly accomplished
+the giddiest somersaults that were ever turned.
+At last, nearly exhausted with this vigorous performance,
+he ran up to the throne, grasped me by the
+hand, which he wrung most heartily, and for all the
+world was his good old self again.</p>
+
+<p>'He now bade me follow him, and in utter silence
+we both crept out of the throne-room, through the
+ante-room, down the stairs, across the hall, and out by
+the front door into the garden.</p>
+
+<p>'We now traversed the terrace and crossed the
+tennis lawn, and stepping gently across the Rhododendron
+beds, scrambled as carefully as possible over the<!-- Page 24 --><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_24" id="Page_24">[Pg 24]</a></span>
+barbed-wire fence and found ourselves in the kitchen
+garden. Passing through innumerable beds of cabbages,
+beetroots, turnips, brussels sprouts, and broccoli,
+we at last stood in front of an old broken-down hen-house.
+The Minister knocked very gently three
+distinct times and gave a low musical call, which was
+immediately answered from within. The door now
+opened just sufficiently to admit one person at a time,
+and the Prime Minister crept in, dragging me after
+him, and then closing the door as quickly and as
+quietly as possible.</p>
+
+<p>'You may imagine my surprise when I discovered
+my two other old cronies seated amongst the hay
+newly strewn on the floor, the fat old roosters chortling
+wisely the while on their perches in the roof of the
+shed. Two or three candles, that were glued with
+their own fat on the stakes that were driven securely
+into the ground, together with an old stable lantern suspended
+from the roof, served to light up the interior.
+A squat and homely kettle was simmering cheerily in
+front of some glowing embers in the centre of the floor
+awaiting the brewing of a stout cup of tea, and the
+dominoes were all ready for a rattling game as of old.</p>
+
+<p>'Nothing could exceed the joy of the dear old boys,
+as they gripped me by the hand and punched me first
+on the chest and again on the back from pure joy,
+forgetting all the awe with which they had regarded
+me for so long since, and only remembering the many
+happy times we had spent together in days of yore,&mdash;those<!-- Page 25 --><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_25" id="Page_25">[Pg 25]</a></span>
+far-off happy days, before I had been so terribly,
+so uncomfortably exalted by my subjects.</p>
+
+<p>'As soon as I had made myself pretty comfortable,
+the Minister of Education reached up, and taking one
+of the old chickens from its perch, quickly killed it,
+plucked it and trussed it, and then, suspending it over
+the embers by a piece of string from the roof, turned
+it round and round gently until it was done to a T.</p>
+
+<p>'What a time we had in that old shed to be sure.
+After demolishing the chicken we played the most
+exciting games of dominoes until we were tired of
+them, then cats' cradles, then honey-pots, and then
+touch wood. And what could have been more refreshing
+than those cups of tea! And what more
+invigorating than the Pontefract cakes, the slabs of
+cocoanut ice, and sheets of almond hard-bake that
+we crunched between the games! And the songs
+and choruses with which we shook the crazy old hen-house
+to its rotting foundations! My word! How
+we trolled them out!</p>
+
+<p>'When our joy was at its height, and we were
+carolling the inimitable chorus of that more than
+glorious old song of the country-side, "Waiting for the
+Guinea Fowl," we were suddenly reminded of the
+approach of day by the loud crowing of the old cock
+over our heads, and peeping at once out of the door
+we perceived that already the dawn had advanced and
+lightened the eastern sky.</p>
+
+<p><!-- Page 26 --><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_26" id="Page_26">[Pg 26]</a></span></p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 236px;">
+<a href="images/i_045.jpg"><img src="images/i_045_tn.jpg" width="236" height="400" alt="" title="" /></a>
+<span class="caption">WHAT A TIME WE HAD</span>
+</div>
+
+<p>'Without a moment's hesitation, the guttering
+candles were extinguished, and I was hurried back
+to the palace. But only just in time, for as I mounted
+the steps of my throne I could hear the lazy steps of
+the boot-boy as he unwillingly crawled downstairs to
+his work.<!-- Page 27 --><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_27" id="Page_27">[Pg 27]</a></span></p>
+
+<p>'In the course of the day the Egg Counter to the
+Royal Household was dragged grovelling before me,
+complaining that the foxes had stolen one of the
+chickens under his care. I ordered the treasurer to
+disburse 9d. for a trap and dismissed the grinning
+churl, who little guessed the breed of foxes which had
+made away with his bird.</p>
+
+<p>'Night after night the four of us, unsuspected of
+any, now sought the hen-house, and forgot the harassing
+troubles of state in the pure joys of friendship.
+After killing, roasting, and supping off one of the
+birds as on our first meeting, we abandoned ourselves
+to the heartiest revelry, only to be awakened to the
+cold everyday world by the crowing of the old bantam.</p>
+
+<p>'During the daytime my friends resumed their
+deferential and almost servile demeanour, and nothing
+remained to remind me of the revels of the night
+before but the troubles of the Egg Counter, who now
+came to me every day with a fresh complaint that yet
+another of his birds had disappeared.</p>
+
+<p>'And now begins the narration of the most
+terrible of all my trials. One night&mdash;how well can I
+remember it, it was on the eve of that very day when
+the mighty King of the Persians and all his court were
+coming to spend the week-end with us, in order to
+celebrate my sixty-fifth birthday&mdash;we met as usual in
+the hen-house, and discovered to our dismay that we
+had demolished all the fowls with the exception of
+the old cock. After some discussion, and regardless<!-- Page 28 --><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_28" id="Page_28">[Pg 28]</a></span>
+of consequences, we decided to treat him as we had
+already treated his brothers and sisters, and in a very
+little time nothing was left of the tough old biped but
+bones, beak and feathers. Heedless of the morrow,
+we now gave ourselves up to the wildest enjoyment.
+Discarding such simple games as dominoes and honey-pots,
+we now indulged in the more thrilling joys of
+leap-frog, Hunt the Stag, Red Rover, Robbers and
+Thieves, and you would not believe me were I to tell
+you the amount of toffee, brandy-snaps, bull's eyes,
+and Edinburgh rock that we absorbed in the course of
+this agreeable evening.</p>
+
+<p>'Enlivened, no doubt, by the thought that to-morrow
+was my birthday, my excitement was intense,
+and communicating itself to my prankful cronies, it
+electrified their old bones in the most amazing
+manner.</p>
+
+<p>'How long we should have kept it up, it is, of
+course, impossible for me to say, but we were suddenly
+brought to a standstill by a loud knocking on the door
+of the shed and the sound of a great concourse of
+people on the other side. On opening the door I
+nearly fainted in my horror, for whom should I behold
+but the King of Persia and all his court, and as far as
+the eye could reach the faces of the Trojans all lit up
+by the morning sun, staring intently at the shed.
+Alas, we had eaten the old cock, our only timepiece,
+many hours ago, and without our knowledge the day
+had dawned and grown to midday.<!-- Page 29 --><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_29" id="Page_29">[Pg 29]</a></span></p>
+
+<p>'Who shall describe my profound mortification,
+as I observed the look of sorrow on the King of
+Persia's noble countenance, or the distress with which
+I viewed the agonised disappointment of my subjects
+as they beheld their king, whom they one and all
+delighted to honour, playing leap-frog in a hen-house.</p>
+
+<p>'It appeared that on the arrival of the King of
+Persia, they had all proceeded in lordly procession
+with bands playing and flags flying to the throne-room,
+and not finding me there they had hunted everywhere
+for me, high and low, until at last, guided by the
+sounds of revelry in the hen-house, they discovered
+my wretched self in the ignominious position I have
+already described.</p>
+
+<p>'I was now seized by two of the Persian guards
+at the command of their monarch and marched off to
+the Palace, a lane being opened for me through the
+crowds of my silent and sorrowing subjects.</p>
+
+<p>'A council was very hurriedly called together, at
+which it was decided that I should be banished for
+ever from the city of Troy for so demeaning the
+exalted position to which I had been elevated, by
+my frolics in the hen-house, and that henceforth
+the King of Persia should reign in my stead.</p>
+
+<p>'Stripping my royal robes from me (they were
+compelled to leave my crown on, for it was so firmly
+fixed that it would not come off, try as they would),
+they now bandaged my eyes, and, with the only baggage
+I was allowed to take, tied up in an old<!-- Page 30 --><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_30" id="Page_30">[Pg 30]</a></span>
+patch-work quilt, they led me forth. Past crowds
+of my subjects, who now gave way to the most heartfelt
+sorrow, I was led, through the old gates of my
+beloved city and far out into the country. After we
+had travelled for about thirty miles my conductors
+at last removed the bandage from my eyes and left
+me to my despair, alone in the wilderness.</p>
+
+<p>'Sinking to the ground, I wept bitterly for three-quarters
+of an hour, when hunger beginning to assert
+itself, I started upon this long journey, which has at
+length brought me to you.</p>
+
+<p>'For many months have I travelled, often compelled
+to ask the way or beg assistance of the merest
+strangers, until at last,' concluded the old gentleman,
+'as I was resting to-day in the shadow of this rick, I
+saw you all coming over the hill, and mistaking you
+for the legions of the King of Persia sent to hunt me
+down, I hid myself in the top of the rick.'</p>
+
+<p>Bill and all his charges were deeply moved at so
+harrowing a tale, and willingly proffered any assistance
+they were capable of rendering to the unhappy old
+boy.</p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 300px;">
+<a href="images/i_052.jpg"><img src="images/i_052_tn.jpg" width="300" height="400" alt="" title="" /></a>
+<span class="caption">The King of Troy compelled to ask his way</span>
+</div>
+
+<p>The King of Troy, now assured of the good faith
+of his new friends, unfolded to them a scheme he had
+formed to raise an army and to march on Troy, and
+so recover, if possible, his lost power. Bill at once
+offered his services and was created commander-in-chief
+on the spot, and calling for volunteers, was
+answered by one great shout of joy from all his<!-- Page 31 --><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_31" id="Page_31">[Pg 31]</a></span>
+charges, every one of whom enlisted there and then
+in the new army of the King of Troy.</p>
+
+<p>Chad, Hannibal, Randall, Noah, Ratchett, Nero,
+Biddulph, and Knut were each promoted to the rank
+of officers as a matter of course, while the gentle
+Boadicea was deputed to look after the old King,
+whose comfort was now her greatest aim in life.</p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 260px;">
+<a href="images/i_054.jpg"><img src="images/i_054_tn.jpg" width="260" height="400" alt="" title="TAILPIECE" /></a>
+</div>
+
+<p><!-- Page 32 --><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_32" id="Page_32">[Pg 32]</a></span></p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 171px;">
+<a href="images/i_055.jpg"><img src="images/i_055_tn.jpg" width="171" height="400" alt="" title="VIGNETTE" /></a>
+</div>
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+
+<p><!-- Page 33 --><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_33" id="Page_33">[Pg 33]</a></span></p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 336px;">
+<a href="images/i_056.jpg"><img src="images/i_056_tn.jpg" width="303" height="400" alt="" title="TITLE-PAGE [The Ancient Mariner]" /></a>
+</div>
+<p><!-- Page 34 --><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_34" id="Page_34">[Pg 34]</a></span></p>
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 400px;">
+<a href="images/i_057.jpg"><img src="images/i_057_tn.jpg" width="400" height="326" alt="" title="HEADPIECE" /></a>
+</div>
+
+<hr />
+
+
+<h2><a name="THE_ANCIENT_MARINER" id="THE_ANCIENT_MARINER"></a>THE ANCIENT MARINER</h2>
+
+
+<p>The next thing to be done was certainly to
+make the old King comfortable, so Bill took
+him home, and the good Chloe dosed him
+well with hot gruel, and made him put his feet in hot
+water, and sent him to bed. After remaining snugly
+tucked up for a few days, the cheerful old soul was
+ready and eager to start with his new army for Troy.</p>
+
+<p>In the meantime Bill, with the assistance of
+Crispin, had constructed a wonderful perambulator,<!-- Page 35 --><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_35" id="Page_35">[Pg 35]</a></span>
+in which the King could be conveyed with his luggage
+and such comforts as would be necessary for the old
+man during his progress.</p>
+
+<p>Having secured the permission of Crispin and
+Chloe, and of the other parents concerned (most of
+whom seemed only too glad to get rid of the lot), Bill,
+the King, and all the gallant young soldiers started
+on their adventurous journey. Loud were the shouts
+of admiration as the brave creatures marched down
+the village street; and at last, when they had entirely
+disappeared, the place seemed suddenly so quiet and
+dull that all retired to their bedrooms and gave way
+to tears.</p>
+
+<p>However, our duty is to follow the young braves.
+Having marched along the road across the Downs for
+some distance, they met the strangest couple,&mdash;a kind-looking
+old gentleman who, to judge from his appearance,
+had spent the greater part of his life upon the
+ocean, carrying in his arms, carefully and tenderly as
+though he were a frail young baby, another man, with
+the saddest and most thoughtful face that you ever
+beheld. Such touching kindness deeply affected all
+who witnessed it, and Bill at once greeted the good
+gentleman, and begged of him to account to them for
+his very strange appearance on the country road.</p>
+
+<p>'Sirs,' said the Ancient Mariner, as he placed his
+burden lovingly on the ground, 'my name is Jack,
+Plain Jack, and I am the ninth mate of the Swedish
+ship <i>Turnip</i>, a brig-rigged barquentine, that sailed<!-- Page 36 --><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_36" id="Page_36">[Pg 36]</a></span>
+from Cherry Garden Pier for Margate with a cargo of
+camels, in the year 1840, and has never since been
+heard of.</p>
+
+<p>'Though a born sailor, I succeeded my father in
+what was one of the best corn-chandler's businesses in
+that part of Barking. By my industry and thrift I, in
+time, so bettered my position and improved my business
+that I felt fully entitled to settle down and enter
+into the state of matrimony. For some years I had
+had my eye on the enchanting Jane Osbaldistone de
+Trevor, whose father kept a large brill farm by Barking
+Creek,&mdash;in fact, the largest of the many brill farms
+that used, in those days, to line the river from Limehouse
+Reach to Cherry Garden Pier.</p>
+
+<p>'His wealth and importance did not deter me from
+aspiring to the hand of his fascinating daughter; and
+why should they have done so? Was not I in the very
+promising position of owning the largest corn-chandler's
+store, from Wapping Old Stairs even as far down as
+Barking Creek? And then, again, was not I as well
+born as he, for did not my ancestors chandle corn in
+Barking long before the De Trevors had crossed the
+Channel, when they may, indeed, have earned a precarious
+livelihood by letting bathing-machines on the
+beach at Boulogne?</p>
+
+<p>'Nevertheless, on my broaching the subject to the
+old gentleman, he threw every conceivable obstacle in
+my way, and made conditions that were wellnigh
+impossible of being carried out. "If," said he, "you<!-- Page 37 --><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_37" id="Page_37">[Pg 37]</a></span>
+can bring to me, within the next few years, some
+object more wonderful than anything in the Bethnal
+Green Museum,&mdash;some object beside which St. Paul's
+Cathedral, the Monument, the Tower of London, or
+the Tower Bridge will be as uninteresting as an old
+one-bladed pocket-knife,&mdash;then you shall marry my
+daughter, but not otherwise"; and he chuckled to
+himself, knowing only too well that he had wellnigh
+dashed my hopes for ever.</p>
+
+<p>'But, after all, little did he know Plain Jack. Disappointed,
+but with some hope yet of claiming the
+lovely Jane, I sold my business for a considerable sum
+of money, which I took with me in my sea-chest,
+and signed on as Cabin Boy aboard the Swedish ship,
+<i>Turnip</i>, fully determined to travel all over the world, if
+necessary, in order to fulfil the conditions imposed
+upon me by the irritating old gentleman.</p>
+
+<p>'Foreseeing well how useful my superior officers
+might be to me in my quest, I resolved, as far as possible
+to deserve their good-will, and I behaved with such
+exemplary conduct that before we had passed Greenwich
+Hospital I was promoted to the rank of twelfth
+mate.</p>
+
+<p>'Still persevering in my good intentions, I performed
+many little acts of kindness, such as brewing
+the captain a cup of tea when he least expected it, and
+handing round to the officers and crew bars of colt's foot
+rock, a supply of which I took good care to bring
+with me. I repeat, so continually attentive was I, that,<!-- Page 38 --><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_38" id="Page_38">[Pg 38]</a></span>
+before we had passed the Nore, I was promoted to the
+rank of eleventh mate.</p>
+
+<p>'Off Herne Bay, I was still further able to gratify
+the captain and officers by pointing out to them the
+various public buildings and places of interest, which
+I had visited only last year during a delightful week-end
+trip. So delighted were they all that, before
+sighting Margate, I was promoted to the rank of tenth
+mate.</p>
+
+<p>'On arriving at Margate, numerous merchants came
+along the jetty in bath-chairs to examine our cargo.
+None, however, wanted to buy camels; all wanted
+donkeys for the sands. In spite of the captain's argument,
+that camels were much more used to sand than
+donkeys, having spent the best part of their lives on
+the sands of the desert, the merchants were obdurate,
+and we had to sail away again with our camels. We
+also now carried with us a shipload of Carraway Comfits,
+which we had purchased at Margate, hoping to be
+able to dispose of them at some port, and so compensate
+ourselves for the loss of business at Margate.</p>
+
+<p><!-- Page 39 --><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_39" id="Page_39">[Pg 39]</a></span></p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 400px;">
+<a href="images/i_062.jpg"><img src="images/i_062_tn.jpg" width="400" height="333" alt="" title="" /></a>
+<span class="caption">I SIGN ON AS CABIN BOY</span>
+</div>
+
+<p>'For many days we sailed on and on, out through
+the Yarmouth Roads into the Persian Gulf, one incident
+alone standing out vividly in my memory during this
+part of the voyage. It was the dog watch, on a lovely
+summer evening; we were making little way, just
+sufficient to enliven the whitebait that leapt and
+prattled round our prow, or disturb a lazy brill
+that dozed upon our course. Here and there the
+spotted tunny would leap several yards from the sea,
+to descend again with a mighty smack upon the waters.
+From afar, borne upon the gentle breeze, came the
+low grizzle of the sperm-whale as it herded its young,
+or the thud of the mighty sword-fish, as it drove home
+the deadly weapon with which Nature, knowing its
+own ends, has provided him; while, mellowed by even
+greater distance, the high-pitched yell of the land-cod
+and the shriek of its maddened prey, could now and
+again be heard. I was lazily reclining among the peak<!-- Page 40 --><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_40" id="Page_40">[Pg 40]</a></span>
+halyards, whittling out a mermaid's head from a piece
+of hard-boiled gannet's egg, which I intended to send
+to Jane, should a passing vessel give me such an
+opportunity. Full of peace, and imbued with the calm
+that pervaded the sea and the sky, I was hardly prepared
+for the shock in store for me. Suddenly, without
+any warning, I was jerked from my position among the
+halyards, and flung head-first into the sea. Down,
+and down I went, until, nearly exhausted, I made one
+great effort to come to the surface. When at last I
+reached it, I found that from some unknown cause the
+ship had been tilted nearly on to its side, and thus
+had sent me almost to the bottom of the sea.</p>
+
+<p>'To climb on deck and ascertain the cause of the
+disaster was the work of a moment. It transpired
+that the cargo of carraway comfits had got shifted
+and was mixed up with the camels. The captain
+was asleep at the time, and every one else seemed to
+lose his wits, so I at once took the matter into my
+own hands, and descended into the hold with twelve
+picked men.</p>
+
+<p>'The plight of the camels was sad indeed to see.
+Some were fearfully chafed with the comfits, thus
+proving with what force the latter must have been
+showered upon them by the shifting of the cargo.
+Fortunately, however, although it was very black in the
+ship's hold, the camels were easily distinguished from
+the comfits, and it was only a work of patience and
+a little time to sift them and so right the ship again.<!-- Page 41 --><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_41" id="Page_41">[Pg 41]</a></span></p>
+
+<p>'When the captain awakened and learnt how I
+had saved the ship, his gratitude knew no bounds,
+and he still further promoted me by making me his
+ninth mate.</p>
+
+<p>'For years we sailed from port to port, taking in
+one cargo here, another there, occasionally with some
+advantage to ourselves, but more often with none at
+all, and never with any good fortune attending me
+in my quest. When we were about thirty days' sail
+out from Guatemala, and, as far as I could tell, in
+latitude 195 and longitude 350 (that is, about 60
+degrees east of the Equator), we encountered a
+storm which brought me to the successful accomplishment
+of my quest. It was four bells and my watch
+below, so I had gone aloft in the mizzen shrouds, and
+with my feet resting idly on the top-gallant backstay,
+holding securely to the weather topsail reeftackle, I
+munched a tunny sandwich, a few of which I had
+prevailed upon the steward to cut for me. Under a
+clear sky, we were making roughly, I should say, about
+335 knots, and it was already blowing half a gale; a
+choppy sea was running, yet, except for the clots of
+spindrift, that now and again hurtled against the mast,
+there was no real promise of the storm to come; so I
+went on with my sandwiches.</p>
+
+<p>'We were now sailing close-hauled under double-reefed
+main storm topsails and fore and aft main
+staysails, keeping a good course and shipping very
+little water, when, suddenly, I beheld on the horizon,<!-- Page 42 --><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_42" id="Page_42">[Pg 42]</a></span>
+well to windward, a little cloud no larger than a
+tomato,&mdash;the English tomato, I mean, not the foreign
+species, though it rapidly attained that size. It grew
+larger and larger until it was quite the size of a full-grown
+vegetable marrow; yet, little recking that it
+contained the seeds of the terrible tempest that was
+so soon to overwhelm us, I still went on with my
+sandwiches.</p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 400px;">
+<a href="images/i_065.jpg"><img src="images/i_065_tn.jpg" width="400" height="337" alt="" title="" /></a>
+<span class="caption">I WENT ON WITH MY SANDWICHES</span>
+</div>
+
+<p>'Presently the gale increased, and the seas swelled<!-- Page 43 --><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_43" id="Page_43">[Pg 43]</a></span>
+up to the size of Ludgate Hill. Whole shoals of the
+passive skate arose to the surface and flopped
+warningly about our vessel. To leeward could be
+seen flocks of the wild sea shrike, whose ominous
+bark could be distinctly heard above the snort of
+the coming tempest. By now the cloud had half
+filled the heavens; the seas rose higher and higher;
+the din was terrific, as the wind tore from the sea
+shoal upon shoal of the shy sardine and whirled
+them through the air. Soon the ship was drenched
+in the high seas that continually broke over her and
+the quarts and quarts of rain that wolloped from the
+dense cloud now covering the whole sky and blotting
+out all light.</p>
+
+<p>'At last came the order from the captain, who
+now realised the danger that threatened his vessel.
+"Up helm," roared he, through his speaking-trumpet,
+"clew up the lee braces of the topsail halyards; haul
+out the reef tackle and brail up the spanker." But
+the command came too late. The fore-topsail studding
+booms went by the board, carrying with them
+the bowsprit, the main mast, the fo'c's'le, the top-gallant
+studding-sail halyard, and the captain's
+tobacco-pouch, which had been placed upon the
+bowsprit earlier in the afternoon. Nothing could
+now be seen except, here and there, the gleam on
+some fish as it was whirled, with the masts, men,
+boots, screws, sharks, thimbles, sea anemones, watch-chains,
+ship's stores, planks, and other miscellaneous<!-- Page 44 --><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_44" id="Page_44">[Pg 44]</a></span>
+objects, through the sky. I had barely finished my
+last sandwich when, lo, everything became a blank to
+me and I lost all consciousness.</p>
+
+<p>'How long I remained thus I cannot say, but I
+awakened on the sandy shore of some island, upon
+which I had been thrown by the force of the
+wind. Nothing could I see of my companions: a
+few planks and spars and my own wretched self
+were all that remained to tell the tale of the good
+ship <i>Turnip</i>.</p>
+
+<p>'The wind had dropped, and it was a beautiful
+morning, not a trace of the storm remaining, only
+here and there the panting of the crayfish, as they
+nestled behind the rocks, or the gasping of the
+oysters telling of the strain they had undergone.
+I gazed along the shore in each direction, hoping
+to discover a bathing-machine, and so satisfy myself
+that the island was inhabited. Nothing was in sight,
+however, so I lay down again and dozed. When I
+awoke once more it was high noon, and the vertical
+rays of the sun warned me that it was time to take
+shelter. I raised myself on one arm with this intention,
+when I became aware of a strange figure,
+dressed in a long robe and with a great turban,
+who was seated on a rock near by, gazing out
+to sea.</p>
+
+<p>'I got to my feet with considerable difficulty as I
+was faint with hunger and stiff in the limbs, and was
+about to approach the object, when I discovered two<!-- Page 45 --><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_45" id="Page_45">[Pg 45]</a></span>
+more figures, who evidently had the same intention.
+Seemingly they did not wish to be observed by the
+singular creature I have already described, for they
+were stealthily approaching him from behind, creeping
+from rock to rock. I at once stooped down
+behind a great star-fish, determined to watch unobserved.</p>
+
+<p>'I now noticed that both were savages, and that
+one of them held close to his body an old, rusty kitchen-range;
+while the other carried, in one hand, a basket
+of coals, and with the other supported a huge, iron
+sauce-pan across his shoulders. Nearer and nearer
+drew the cannibals (as I soon guessed them to be) to
+their intended victim, who, however, either because he
+did not hear them, or did not dread them, took no
+notice at all. Presently they were crouching down
+behind him, and he was still apparently unconscious
+of their presence. Then, with a wild whoop they leapt
+into the air, and dropped on the ground in front of
+him. Even now the amazing creature took no notice
+of the cannibals or their antics, as they danced and
+yelled around him. Soon realising that there was
+something very unusual in his reception of them, they
+stared in awe and amazement at him for some time,
+and then fled in terror, leaving the saucepan, the
+kitchen-range and the other cooking utensils behind
+them.</p>
+
+<p>'They ran along the sands, and dropped behind
+a rock at a great distance away, where they remained<!-- Page 46 --><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_46" id="Page_46">[Pg 46]</a></span>
+completely hidden for some long time. Presently,
+however, one black head appeared for an instant above
+the rock, and gazed in the direction of the thoughtful
+creature by the sea. This head was very quickly withdrawn
+from view and another popped up,&mdash;only to
+disappear as quickly. Then the first appeared again,
+and so on. This continued until they had regained
+a little of their nerve, when I could see them once
+more crawling back to the abstracted figure on the
+shore. Again they drew very close to him, and now
+that they had sufficiently mastered their fears, they
+approached and examined him very closely, and proceeded
+at once to prepare their evening meal. First
+of all they lit the fire, then they carefully placed their
+unresisting victim in the saucepan, after filling it with
+water from the sea, and were just about to lift it on
+to the range when I lost all patience, and shouted
+from my hiding-place, "Hold!" so many times in
+quick succession, and each time in a different tone
+of voice, that the cannibals must have thought there
+were at least thirty men or more in hiding. At any
+rate, they fled in the most abject terror, never to
+return.</p>
+
+<p>'Giving them good time to disappear, I now emerged
+from my hiding-place and approached the absent-minded
+creature, gently lifting him from the saucepan,
+in which I found him still sitting and gazing out
+to sea. Gathering together many sea-urchins, rock-beetles,
+and branches of a succulent sea-weed, with<!-- Page 47 --><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_47" id="Page_47">[Pg 47]</a></span>
+which the beach had been strewn by the recent storm,
+I prepared an exquisite stew, and made a very hearty
+meal. I was also able to induce my companion to
+take some, without, however, succeeding in breaking
+his train of thought.</p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 400px;">
+<a href="images/i_070.jpg"><img src="images/i_070_tn.jpg" width="400" height="296" alt="" title="" /></a>
+<span class="caption">FOR YEARS WE SAILED</span>
+</div>
+
+<p>'For many months no other friend had I than this
+preoccupied curiosity, who seemed quite unable to
+give me any clue as to who he was or whence he came.
+Perhaps he had been shipwrecked there in childhood&mdash;who
+knows?&mdash;and wandered there ever since, the
+wonder of every limpet or lugworm that squirmed
+upon those shores, or the sport of every mer-kid that
+flipped a fin in those unknown waters.<!-- Page 48 --><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_48" id="Page_48">[Pg 48]</a></span></p>
+
+<p>'To cut a long story short, I soon realised that
+here was the object I was in search of, and that if this
+dreamy creature did not sufficiently astonish old De
+Trevor, and compel him to consent to my marrying
+his daughter, nothing on this earth would do the deed,
+so I resolved to leave the island with my treasure as
+soon as I could make it possible to do so. I set about
+making a raft, which I quickly succeeded in completing,
+having since my childhood had a great knack
+at the making of rafts, and, without undue delay, I
+embarked with my prize, provisioned with as many
+shell-fish and branches of the succulent sea-weed as
+the raft would carry.</p>
+
+<p>'After some few months, and just as we had finished
+our last limpet, we had the good fortune to be picked
+up by a tramp-steamer, bound for Saskatchewan from
+Mombasa, with a cargo of periwinkles. The captain
+was such a kind-hearted man that, on hearing my story
+he decided to go out of his course, and land us at
+Cherry Garden Pier; and so, my good friends, after
+sixty years' sailing all over the globe, I arrived home
+again, a poorer but a kinder man.</p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 300px;">
+<a href="images/i_074.jpg"><img src="images/i_074_tn.jpg" width="300" height="400" alt="" title="" /></a>
+<span class="caption">The sport of every mer-kid</span>
+</div>
+
+<p>'You may be sure that I lost no time in seeking
+out Jane herself, with every hope of at last being
+able to claim her hand, but alas! gentlemen,' said the
+Ancient Mariner, with a large, salt tear about to fall
+from each eye, and as he once more tenderly lifted his
+burden, 'I was to find that Jane had become a very,
+very old woman, with many little grandchildren of<!-- Page 49 --><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_49" id="Page_49">[Pg 49]</a></span>
+her own, and that she had entirely forgotten my existence.
+She had me turned away from her doorstep
+as a raving madman, even with my interesting, absent-minded,
+and inseparable companion.</p>
+
+<p>'Thus, Good Sirs, I have to start life anew, and if
+my great experience should be of any service to you,
+believe me, it is yours to command.'</p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 400px;">
+<a href="images/i_076.jpg"><img src="images/i_076_tn.jpg" width="400" height="133" alt="" title="TAILPIECE" /></a>
+</div>
+<p><!-- Page 50 --><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_50" id="Page_50">[Pg 50]</a></span></p>
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 249px;">
+<a href="images/i_077.jpg"><img src="images/i_077_tn.jpg" width="249" height="400" alt="" title="VIGNETTE" /></a>
+<span class="caption">THE ANCIENT MARINER</span>
+</div>
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<p><!-- Page 51 --><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_51" id="Page_51">[Pg 51]</a></span></p>
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 359px;">
+<a href="images/i_078.jpg"><img src="images/i_078_tn.jpg" width="307" height="400" alt="" title="TITLE-PAGE [The Triplets]" /></a>
+</div>
+<p><!-- Page 52 --><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_52" id="Page_52">[Pg 52]</a></span></p>
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 400px;">
+<a href="images/i_079.jpg"><img src="images/i_079_tn.jpg" width="400" height="185" alt="" title="HEADPIECE" /></a>
+</div>
+
+
+
+
+<h2><a name="THE_TRIPLETS" id="THE_TRIPLETS"></a>THE TRIPLETS</h2>
+
+
+<p>Right gladly were the services of the plucky
+old salt accepted by the gallant little band,
+and taking it in turns to relieve him of his
+burden, they jovially marched along. The way was
+enlivened by many a good chorus, until the old King
+complained of a headache, when every one had to be
+quiet and talk only in quite a low tone, while Boadicea
+soothed the old fidget, and lulled him to sleep, by
+removing his crown and gently stroking the top of his
+head with a mint leaf, rolled into a little ball, and
+fastened to the end of a stem of sweet-briar. He
+awakened shortly after tea, very much refreshed for
+his nap, and every one grew merry again.</p>
+
+<p>He now, however, considerably delayed the progress<!-- Page 53 --><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_53" id="Page_53">[Pg 53]</a></span>
+of the expedition by insisting on running after butterflies,
+and trying to catch them in his crown. Though
+anxious enough to continue their journey, all the army
+awaited with great patience the pleasure of the old
+sportsman. At length Knut, who had been eagerly
+watching the King for some time, as he frisked about
+the fields after the brightly-coloured insects, could not
+restrain himself from doing likewise. Now Hannibal
+joined in the sport, then Quentin, then Noah, then
+Ratchett, and, so exciting did the chase become, soon
+all the force were frantically running about the fields
+with the lively monarch, while Boadicea remained by
+the carriage and darned his old stockings.</p>
+
+<p>At last the King grew tired, and they all came
+back to the road and resumed their march. The tiresome
+sovereign now insisted on the Ancient Mariner
+removing his burden to the rear, complaining that the
+absent-minded creature would stare at him, and that
+he did not wish to be gazed at or wondered at. 'Time
+enough for that,' said he, 'when I'm on my throne
+again.' Having effected this change in the order of
+the procession, they now marched on without further
+interruption from the King.</p>
+
+<p>Towards nightfall they drew near to the sea, on the
+shores of which they hoped to spend the night. Bill
+being, as usual, a little in advance of the others, was
+the first to descend to the sands, seated on which he
+discovered, to his great astonishment, three young
+children weeping bitterly, and near to them, in the<!-- Page 54 --><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_54" id="Page_54">[Pg 54]</a></span>
+same state of grief, he beheld an old gentleman seated
+upon a rock. But what aroused his astonishment
+even more than their extreme wretchedness, was the
+fact that the three children were all exactly alike in
+every particular,&mdash;the same size, the same hair, the
+same eyes,&mdash;in fact, there was no perceptible difference
+of any kind between them. Now and again, one of the
+children would endeavour to comfort the old man, and
+he again would attempt to perform the like kindly
+office for them. Wondering what could so upset such
+worthy creatures, Bill approached and besought them
+to confide to him their troubles, that he might try to
+relieve them to the best of his ability. Their tears,
+however, effectually prevented them from replying at
+once to him. Giving them a little time to recover, Bill
+again addressed them. 'Who are you?' said he, and
+they all answered between their sobs, 'We are the
+Duchess of Blowdripping and her two sisters, Mellinid
+and Edil.'</p>
+
+<p>'Which of you,' asked Bill, 'is the Duchess?'</p>
+
+<p>'That's what we don't know,' they replied. 'We
+only know that she is neither Mellinid nor Edil.'</p>
+
+<p>'Then who of you is Mellinid, and who Edil?'
+again queried the puzzled Bill.</p>
+
+<p>'That's what all the trouble's about,' they tearfully
+rejoined. 'All we can tell you for certain is that
+neither of them is the Duchess,' and the poor little
+creatures redoubled their cries.</p>
+
+<p>More puzzled than ever, and quite at a loss to find<!-- Page 55 --><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_55" id="Page_55">[Pg 55]</a></span>
+any clue to their troubles, Bill again besought them to
+relieve their minds by confiding in him. Then one of
+the little creatures stood up and, after drying her eyes,
+addressed Bill in the following way:&mdash;</p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 400px;">
+<a href="images/i_082.jpg"><img src="images/i_082_tn.jpg" width="400" height="343" alt="" title="" /></a>
+<span class="caption">ENDEAVOURING TO COMFORT THE OLD MAN</span>
+</div>
+
+<p>'As you have most likely guessed, we are triplets,
+and were christened Blaura, Mellinid and Edil, after
+three great-aunts renowned for their intelligence and
+their many virtues. From our earliest days we were so
+much alike that each had to wear a different coloured<!-- Page 56 --><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_56" id="Page_56">[Pg 56]</a></span>
+hair-ribbon to distinguish her from her sisters. Blaura
+wore red, Mellinid blue, and Edil green. Our affectionate
+parents, the late Duke and Duchess of Blowdripping,
+died when we were barely six months old,
+and we were all left in charge of our uncle, the
+benevolent gentleman you see weeping on my left.
+Before the thoughtful creatures expired, feeling that
+their end was drawing near, they were faced with the
+difficult problem as to which of us should be the new
+Duchess; all of us, as I have said before, being of the
+same age. Of course, I need not tell you that it was
+quite out of the question we should all inherit the
+title; three young ladies trying to be one duchess
+would be absurd in the extreme. So our intelligent
+and resourceful mother and father decided, after much
+deliberation with the family solicitor, and the vicar of
+the parish, that Blaura should succeed to the title and
+all the dignities of the Duchy of Blowdripping when
+she arrived at the age of eight years, and that, at the
+same time, Mellinid should become the owner of
+Blowdripping Hall, with its priceless collections of
+pictures, old china, fossils and foreign stamps, and
+Edil become the possessor of the Blowdripping Park,
+in which the Hall is so pleasantly situated, with its
+herds of hedgehogs, elands and gnu. I am sure you
+will agree with me that no more just division of their
+great possessions could have been devised by the fair-minded
+couple. Our uncle was kindness itself, ever
+watching us with the affectionate care of a mother.<!-- Page 57 --><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_57" id="Page_57">[Pg 57]</a></span>
+He was always at hand to look to our comforts, and
+to see that no danger drew nigh, whether we were
+bathing in the marble fountains of the courtyard,
+taking the air in the park, or sleeping in our tastefully-decorated
+bedroom.</p>
+
+<p>'One beautiful summer's afternoon, when we were
+about one year old, we had been taken on to the
+verandah to enjoy our afternoon nap, in order that we
+might have advantage of the delightful breeze that
+blew across the woods from the sea. As usual our
+uncle was near by, and so soothing was the air that,
+unable to resist its drowsy influence, he, too, soon
+dozed off. Unfortunately we awakened before our
+unconscious nurse, and immediately rolled out of
+our cradles, and crawled along the pavement of the
+verandah. Great sport we had, I have no doubt, as
+children will, and certain it is that, attracted by their
+brilliant colours, we lost no time in removing from each
+other's heads our distinguishing ribbons, and speedily
+mixing them up. However, at length, and too late,
+our baby laughter awakened the old gentleman from
+his sleep. Too great for words was the astonishment
+of the unhappy man when he beheld us all shuffled up
+and mixed in this deplorable way upon the pavement.
+Bitterly he accused himself of wicked negligence for
+allowing such a thing to happen, for so alike were we
+without our distinguishing ribbons, that he could never
+hope to know one from the other again. He thought,
+and thought, and thought for the whole afternoon, but<!-- Page 58 --><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_58" id="Page_58">[Pg 58]</a></span>
+at the end he was no nearer discovering again which
+was the future Duchess, which Mellinid, and which
+Edil. At last, he gave it up in despair. Henceforth
+we were known only collectively as the future Duchess
+and her two sisters, but which is the Duchess,
+and which the two sisters, will remain for ever a
+mystery.</p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 400px;">
+<a href="images/i_085.jpg"><img src="images/i_085_tn.jpg" width="400" height="342" alt="" title="" /></a>
+<span class="caption">WE GREW UP IN COMPARATIVE HAPPINESS</span>
+</div>
+
+<hr />
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 303px;">
+<a href="images/i_088.jpg"><img src="images/i_088_tn.jpg" width="303" height="400" alt="" title="" /></a>
+<span class="caption">He was always at hand</span>
+</div>
+
+<p>'Nevertheless, we grew up in comparative happiness
+until yesterday, the fateful day when we all became<!-- Page 59 --><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_59" id="Page_59">[Pg 59]</a></span>
+eight years of age. Before breakfast, and with all due
+solemnity, our faithful uncle handed over to us the
+control and guardianship of the Blowdripping possessions,
+which had been entrusted to him until we should
+arrive at our present age, but, alas! we could not avail
+ourselves of the good provision made for us by our
+thoughtful parents, as neither one of us knew which
+of us we were. The Duchess, as head of the family,
+could not give her consent to anything, or advance any
+money for the housekeeping as, for all she knew, she
+might be one of her own sisters, in which case she
+would have been touching that which did not rightly
+belong to her. For the same reason Mellinid, not
+knowing who she herself was, could not give her consent
+to our remaining at the Hall, and likewise Edil
+could not allow the magnificent house still to occupy
+its lovely situation in the Blowdripping Park. After
+talking the matter over, and over again, we have come
+to the conclusion that, without the permission of the
+proper owners, which, you will see, it is impossible for
+us to obtain, the only course open to us was to abandon
+our riches, and to leave the park and the castle for
+ever. Our good uncle, putting all the blame for our
+troubles upon his own negligence, insisted on accompanying
+us.'</p>
+
+<p>At the conclusion of this strange story Bill was
+certainly aghast at the very difficult problem put before
+him, and quite at a loss to offer any solution. He
+therefore conducted the trembling triplets and their<!-- Page 60 --><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_60" id="Page_60">[Pg 60]</a></span>
+grief-stricken uncle before the King, who had in the
+meantime arrived upon the shore. Bill explained the
+difficult position in which the poor young things found
+themselves; but, wise as he undoubtedly was, the
+King for some time could make nothing whatever of
+it. He called all his officers and soldiers round him,
+and they formed one great semicircle, of which he was
+the centre; the triplets were then placed before him,
+and he at once proceeded to question them.</p>
+
+<p>'Have you,' said he, addressing the first triplet,
+'any idea as to which of the three of you you really
+are?'</p>
+
+<p>'None whatever,' answered the child.</p>
+
+<p>He then repeated the same question to the other
+triplets, and received the same answer.</p>
+
+<p>'Come now,' continued the King, in a cheerful
+voice, 'does any one of you feel at all like a duchess?'</p>
+
+<p>'We don't know how a duchess should feel,' they
+all replied.</p>
+
+<p>The King here frowned severely and ground his
+teeth.</p>
+
+<p>'Now, one of you must be telling an untruth,' said
+he, 'for one of you, as you say, is the Duchess, and
+must know exactly how she feels, which must be how
+a duchess feels. Come now, which of you is she?'
+And the quick-tempered monarch knit his brows into
+the most terrible folds. 'Unless that one is one of
+her own sisters and not the Duchess,' he roared,
+'she ought to be ashamed of her deceit, and severely<!-- Page 61 --><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_61" id="Page_61">[Pg 61]</a></span>
+punished; and if, indeed, she is not the Duchess,
+then she ought to be punished all the same. I've
+half a mind to have the three of you smacked hard,
+that I may at least be certain of punishing the
+right one.'</p>
+
+<p>Bill suggested timidly that perhaps this would be
+rather unfair, as two of them at least would be unjustly
+punished.</p>
+
+<p>'But which two?' snapped the irritated King.
+'How can any of them feel unjustly treated if she
+doesn't know whether she's the guilty one or not?'
+And he worked himself into a terrible fury, and strode
+up and down the sands, no one daring to approach
+him. Suddenly, without any warning of his intention,
+he ran down to the sea, and removing his shoes and
+stockings, cooled his temper by paddling his feet in
+the sea-water. In a little time he returned, his excitement
+much allayed, and soon the cries of the distracted
+and unhappy triplets, together with the pitiful
+sighs of the dejected uncle, entirely assuaged the
+wrath of the sympathetic, though quick-tempered,
+old man.</p>
+
+<p>When he once more resumed his place before the
+three children the storm had passed, and a sweet,
+good-natured smile enlivened his homely old face, and
+charmed all beholders.</p>
+
+<p>'Well, well, well,' said he, 'triplets will be
+triplets after all, and uncles uncles, all the world
+over.'<!-- Page 62 --><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_62" id="Page_62">[Pg 62]</a></span></p>
+
+<p>He at once resumed the inquiry, and placing
+his hand kindly on the head of the second triplet
+he now addressed the first in the following
+way:&mdash;</p>
+
+<p>'Let us suppose for the moment that you happen
+to know which of your sisters this particular one really
+is, who, in that case, would the third one be, if she
+(the third) were not Mellinid?'</p>
+
+<p>'Either Edil or the Duchess,' promptly replied the
+intelligent child.</p>
+
+<p>'Quite right,' said the King encouragingly, 'Now
+as this is not so, and you certainly do not know which of
+your sisters this one happens to be, the reverse must
+be true, so that if your other sister is neither Edil nor
+the Duchess, who must she be?'</p>
+
+<p>'Mellinid, of course,' readily answered the child,
+and every one applauded and wondered at the wisdom
+of the King.</p>
+
+<p>'It only now remains,' proceeded the King, addressing
+the first and second triplets 'to discover which of
+you is Edil and which the Duchess.' Placing his hand
+once more upon the head of the second triplet, he
+again addressed the first.</p>
+
+<p>'Suppose, for the sake of argument, that this sister
+of yours whom we now know not to be Mellinid were
+Mellinid and Mellinid the Duchess, in that case you
+would assuredly be Edil. Now as you cannot suppose
+this sister to be Mellinid when you know she is not,
+and the Duchess is the Duchess and not Mellinid,
+then our supposition must be wrong and the reverse<!-- Page 63 --><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_63" id="Page_63">[Pg 63]</a></span>
+true, so that Mellinid remains Mellinid and, as we say
+you are not Edil, then this little girl must be she.'
+Then shaking the first triplet by the hand, the complacent
+old potentate said in conclusion:&mdash;'And you,
+my dear creature, are thus proved to be neither Edil
+nor Mellinid but Blaura, the charming Duchess of
+Blowdripping, to whom I offer my hearty congratulations.'
+The cheerful soul now embraced the three
+children, and when he had a hand free he slapped
+the old uncle, who now looked the very picture of
+happiness, several times upon the back.</p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 400px;">
+<a href="images/i_094.jpg"><img src="images/i_094_tn.jpg" width="400" height="126" alt="" title="" /></a>
+<span class="caption">THE TRIPLETS ACCOMPANY THE ARMY</span>
+</div>
+
+<p>Cheers were raised again and again at the unheard-of
+wisdom of the King of Troy. The old uncle completely
+exhausted himself by leaping high into the
+air over and over again, while the triplets were
+beyond themselves with joy at such a successful
+end to their troubles.</p>
+
+<p>So delighted were the triplets with their new
+friends that, during breakfast the next morning, they
+announced their intention of accompanying them to<!-- Page 64 --><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_64" id="Page_64">[Pg 64]</a></span>
+their journey's end, and entrusted the care of the
+Blowdripping estate to their old uncle until they
+should return. The camp packed up and when
+every one was ready to continue the journey, they all
+took an affectionate leave of the old man and
+marched on.</p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 400px;">
+<a href="images/i_095.jpg"><img src="images/i_095_tn.jpg" width="400" height="163" alt="" title="TAILPIECE" /></a>
+</div>
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+
+<p><!-- Page 65 --><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_65" id="Page_65">[Pg 65]</a></span></p>
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 301px;">
+<a href="images/i_096.jpg"><img src="images/i_096_tn.jpg" width="301" height="400" alt="" title="TITLE-PAGE [Good Aunt Galladia]" /></a>
+</div>
+<hr />
+
+<p><!-- Page 66 --><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_66" id="Page_66">[Pg 66]</a></span></p>
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 400px;">
+<a href="images/i_097.jpg"><img src="images/i_097_tn.jpg" width="400" height="298" alt="" title="HEADPIECE" /></a>
+</div>
+
+
+
+
+<h2><a name="GOOD_AUNT_GALLADIA" id="GOOD_AUNT_GALLADIA"></a>GOOD AUNT GALLADIA</h2>
+
+
+<p>At first the King seemed disposed to be not a
+little irritable towards the triplets, murmuring
+something to himself about the extra
+expense. A good lunch, however, soon put him to
+rights, and he was his old cheerful self again.</p>
+
+<p>In the afternoon they met upon the road a long
+thin man with a grin of the greatest self-satisfaction
+widening his otherwise narrow face. In one hand he
+carried a cage containing a miserable old bird that
+could hardly boast an egg-cupful of feathers on its<!-- Page 67 --><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_67" id="Page_67">[Pg 67]</a></span>
+whole shrivelled body; in the other he carried a large
+wooden box. He very good-naturedly stood aside for
+the army to move on, but the King, whose curiosity
+had been aroused, would not allow him to be passed
+unquestioned, so he rang a little bell he always carried
+with him for the purpose, and the whole force at once
+stopped short. In obedience to a signal from the
+King, the long man stepped jauntily before him.
+'Anything wrong, old chirpy?' said he, addressing
+the King rather rudely as some thought. 'Not with
+me,' the King replied with much dignity. 'My only
+reason for calling you before me is to learn why you
+are so extremely pleased with yourself. Such a secret
+would be of the greatest value to us all.' 'Because
+she's given these back to me,' answered the long
+fellow as he opened his box and disclosed, all neatly
+arranged, a beautiful collection of birds' eggs. Every
+kind appeared to be there, and all of the most beautiful
+colours imaginable.</p>
+
+<p>'But who is she?' queried the King.</p>
+
+<p>'Why, my good Aunt Galladia, of course, but it's
+too long a story to tell standing up, so let us sit down
+by the roadside, and you shall hear all about it.'</p>
+
+<p>Every one now seated themselves on the grass by
+the side of the road and over a comforting cup of tea,
+speedily brewed by Boadicea, the long man began his
+story:&mdash;</p>
+
+<p>'My good aunt's full name was Galladia Glowmutton,
+and she was the only daughter of that<!-- Page 68 --><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_68" id="Page_68">[Pg 68]</a></span>
+gallant general, Sir Francis Melville Glowmutton,
+who distinguished himself so greatly in the defence
+of his country.</p>
+
+<p>'It was my good fortune to spend my earliest days
+in this good creature's company, she, noble soul that
+she was, having undertaken to look after me when my
+poor father and mother disappeared in a sand-storm
+many years before.</p>
+
+<p>'The greater part of her life this good woman had
+devoted to brightening the declining years of her well-loved
+father, whose arduous life, poor man, had left
+him in his old age, truth to tell, rather a tiresome,
+and sometimes a difficult, subject to get on with.
+However, thanks to her devotion and patience, he
+led a tolerably happy life. In the course of time the
+old warrior died and left the sorrowing lady well provided
+for,&mdash;that is, over and beyond necessaries, with
+sufficient money to keep up appearances, and even
+enough for her simple pleasures and hobbies.</p>
+
+<p>'For some months my good aunt could not fill the
+blank in her life left by the loss of her father. So
+much kindness, however, could not be kept back for
+long, and was bound in the course of time to find
+its object. Always with a love for every feathered
+creature, she at last set about gathering around her
+as complete a collection of them as she could obtain.
+Soon she had in her aviaries the most marvellous
+assembly of birds ever brought together even at the Zoo.
+There were specimens of the Paraguay gull, Borneo<!-- Page 69 --><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_69" id="Page_69">[Pg 69]</a></span>
+parrots, Australian gheck ghees, the laughing grete,
+Malay anchovy wren that only feeds upon anchovies
+(and very amusing indeed it is, too, to watch them
+spearing the little fish with their beaks and then trying
+to shake them off again), and the golden-crested mussel
+hawk, that swoops down from an incredible height
+and, snatching its prey from the rocks, again disappears
+in the sky. Without wearying you with a
+long list, nearly every known bird was represented in
+my aunt's collection, from the fierce saw-beaked stork
+of Tuscaroca to the mild and pretty little Gossawary
+chick.</p>
+
+<p>'Much as she prized every one of her pets, she
+loved most of all the very rare and beautiful green-toed
+button crane of Baraboo. So fond was she of the
+stately creature, and so careful of its every comfort,
+that she employed a maid to wait on it alone, and a
+special cook to prepare its meal of Peruvian yap beans,
+the delicious and tender kernels of which the dainty
+creature was inordinately fond of,&mdash;and, indeed, they
+were the only food upon which it throve.</p>
+
+<p>'Now, with your permission, a few words about
+myself. Like my aunt I, too, had birdish leanings,
+but unlike her in this, that instead of birds I collected
+birds' eggs, of which I had a vast number of every
+conceivable variety. Ashamed as I am to state it,
+little did my good Aunt Galladia know how many of
+the valuable specimens in my collection were taken
+from her aviaries. Nevertheless she viewed my<!-- Page 70 --><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_70" id="Page_70">[Pg 70]</a></span>
+specimens with growing suspicion, until at last she
+implicitly forbade me to collect any more. For a
+time I desisted, and merely contented myself with
+gloating over my already vast collection, but in a
+little while temptation became too strong for me and
+I resumed my pursuits.</p>
+
+<p>'One afternoon about this time I had mounted a
+tall tree in the Glowmutton Park, intent on obtaining
+the contents of a nest built in its highest branches.
+For some time I was unable to approach the nest,
+but at length, by dint of much perseverance, I just
+managed to reach my hand over the top, and took
+therefrom three beautiful eggs, of a kind as yet unrepresented
+in my collection. So occupied was I
+with my prize, that I did not at first observe what
+was taking place beneath the tree. But on beginning
+to descend, I saw to my horror immediately below me,
+my Aunt Galladia and her pet crane seated at tea,
+with the crane's maid in attendance.</p>
+
+<p><!-- Page 71 --><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_71" id="Page_71">[Pg 71]</a></span></p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 400px;">
+<a href="images/i_102.jpg"><img src="images/i_102_tn.jpg" width="400" height="178" alt="" title="" /></a>
+<span class="caption">I JUST MANAGED TO REACH THE EGGS</span>
+</div>
+
+<p>'Needless to say I did not continue my descent,
+but climbed out to the end of a branch, high over the
+group. I waited in dreadful suspense in the hope
+that my aunt would not look up, and that they would
+soon finish their meal and depart as quickly as they
+had arrived, but, alas! they were in no hurry. I
+trembled now so much that I could hear the leaves
+rustling on the branch, and whether it was that in my
+fear I loosened my hold, or that the branch shook so
+under my trembling form, or whether the sight of a
+beautiful plum cake, directly over which I was poised,
+made me lose my nerve, I know not, but certain it is
+that I fell from my position right on to the table.
+Both my aunt and the maid fainted at once quite
+away, and the timid green-toed button crane of
+Baraboo was in such a terrible flutter that in its
+excitement it snapped the slender gold chain that
+held it and flew into the sky, where it was soon lost to
+view. "Now I've done it," thought I, and, no doubt,
+should have run away had I been able to move, but I
+was so bruised that I was compelled to remain among
+the shattered remains of the table and tea things.
+Presently the maid came to, and then my aunt, and
+nothing could exceed her rage and grief at losing her
+valuable pet. They took me home between them and
+put me to bed, and the severest punishment they
+could devise was to take away from me my lovely<!-- Page 72 --><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_72" id="Page_72">[Pg 72]</a></span>
+collection of eggs. "Never," shrieked my wrathful
+aunt, "shall you have these again until you bring
+back to me my beautiful crane."</p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 400px;">
+<a href="images/i_103.jpg"><img src="images/i_103_tn.jpg" width="400" height="337" alt="" title="" /></a>
+<span class="caption">I ANGLE THE AIR</span>
+</div>
+
+<p>'After a while I recovered, but no one dared to
+speak to me, and I moped about the house in solitary
+wretchedness without a single egg to contemplate.</p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 305px;">
+<a href="images/i_106.jpg"><img src="images/i_106_tn.jpg" width="305" height="400" alt="" title="" /></a>
+<span class="caption">I fell from my position</span>
+</div>
+
+<p>'At last I could bear it no longer, and one night I
+left the house determined never to return again without
+the crane. I took with me an old perambulator,
+in which I had been wheeled about as a child, and<!-- Page 73 --><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_73" id="Page_73">[Pg 73]</a></span>
+in this I placed six of the delicious kernels of the
+Peruvian yap bean, besides a hatchet and other things
+which I thought might be useful on my journey. I
+slept in the forest and, on the following morning I cut
+down the straightest tree I could find for my purpose,
+trimmed it to a fine long pole, and on the very top of
+this I fastened a pin, bent to the form of a fish-hook,
+which I now baited with one of the yap kernels.</p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 400px;">
+<a href="images/i_108.jpg"><img src="images/i_108_tn.jpg" width="400" height="314" alt="" title="" /></a>
+<span class="caption">I ERECTED MY POLE ON THE SANDS</span>
+</div>
+
+<p>'"If anything will attract the bird, this will," thought
+I, having fastened the foot of the pole to my perambulator.
+I now proceeded to angle the air for the<!-- Page 74 --><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_74" id="Page_74">[Pg 74]</a></span>
+lost crane. Carefully following the direction I had
+observed the bird to take when it broke away from its
+chain, I travelled for weeks and weeks, without seeing
+any sign of it. In time, without even a nibble, the
+first kernel was dissolved and worn away by the wind
+and rain, and, in like manner the same fate overcame
+the second, with which I baited my hook; then the
+third, then the fourth, and then the fifth.</p>
+
+<p>'Still keeping the same direction, by this time I
+had arrived at the very edge of the world, beyond
+which there is nothing but sea and sky. Believing
+that the poor creature had flown out over this lonely
+sea, and hoping that it might return when it realised
+that there was no land beyond, I determined to wait
+on the desolate shore.</p>
+
+<p>'I now erected my pole on the sands, after once
+more baiting my hook, this time with a piece of my
+last kernel, having taken the precaution of cutting it
+into six pieces. I now waited patiently, week after
+week, subsisting on the oysters, the starfish, and the
+edible crustaceans, that wandered tamely about the
+shore. Months now passed by, and, one by one, the
+five pieces of my last yap kernel had followed the
+other five kernels with which I had set out from home.
+I am not easily beaten, however, and though many
+months had passed by without my meeting with any
+success, I would not give in, but husbanded my last
+piece of bait with the greatest care. I cut a chip of
+wood from my angling pole, and shaped it in the form<!-- Page 75 --><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_75" id="Page_75">[Pg 75]</a></span>
+of a kernel of the Peruvian yap bean. This I rubbed
+well all over with the tiny piece of the real kernel that
+yet remained to me, until it assumed somewhat the
+colour of the original bean and, certainly, when applied
+to the tip of the tongue, it appeared to partake, though
+very slightly, it is true, of the original flavour, and with
+this I once more baited my hook.</p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 400px;">
+<a href="images/i_110.jpg"><img src="images/i_110_tn.jpg" width="400" height="186" alt="" title="" /></a>
+<span class="caption">ITS OLD STATELY SELF AGAIN</span>
+</div>
+
+<p>'By this means I made my last piece of bean last for
+some years, for as soon as the artificial bean had lost
+its flavour, I rubbed it up again with the real one.
+But even this could not go on for ever, and, at last,
+the true piece was worn right away; so, to preserve
+what little flavour there yet remained of the true bean
+in the false bean, on which it had been so often rubbed,
+I soaked it for six days in a large shell of rain-water.
+In the meantime I cut another chip from my pole, and
+spent nearly six days in carving out another artificial<!-- Page 76 --><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_76" id="Page_76">[Pg 76]</a></span>
+kernel. Before baiting my hook with this, I dipped it
+into the fluid in which the old wooden kernel was still
+soaking, whence it received a very very faint suggestion
+of the original flavour, but so faint was this that it had
+to be redipped three times a day. This went on for
+some time, until the precious liquor began to run low,
+and I was compelled to dilute it still further, in the
+proportion of about five drops to a mussel-shellful of
+water, into which the wooden kernel was now dipped
+ten or twelve times a day.</p>
+
+<p>'Well, I had been at this game, I should say, getting
+on for twenty years, and now resolved to have done
+with it, after risking all on one throw. So I dropped
+my wooden kernel, all rotted and weather-beaten as it
+was, into what little there remained over of the pure
+liquor, this time without diluting it at all, and then let
+it stew all day in the sun.</p>
+
+<p>'In the evening the liquor was all evaporated, and
+the wooden bean seemed to the taste as though it
+possibly might have been in the vicinity of a real one
+some time before. On that evening, for the last time,
+I baited my hook and slept soundly at the foot of
+the pole.</p>
+
+<p>'I was awakened next morning by the wind that
+had arisen during the night, and a great wrenching
+noise, as it tore my poor old angling-pole from its
+place in the sand, and carried it out to sea.</p>
+
+<p>'"That settles it once and for all," thought I, much
+relieved, "and I'm off home," and I set about getting<!-- Page 77 --><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_77" id="Page_77">[Pg 77]</a></span>
+my things together. While I was thus engaged, it
+occurred to me that the old pole might be useful for
+fires, so I swam out for it. Already it had been blown
+some way out to sea, and, as the tide was against me,
+it was only with a very great exertion of strength that
+I gained at all upon it, and I was just about to give it
+up when I beheld, fastened to the bent pin at the end
+of the pole, the wretched crane. The sight lent me
+greater strength, and, after incredible exertions, I
+reached the pole almost exhausted. We were now
+too far from the shore to attempt to return, so I got
+astride the pole, and immediately proceeded to unfasten
+the unhappy fowl from my bent pin. At first I
+thought the poor thing dead, but I nursed it in my
+arms all through the ensuing night, and, on the following
+morning, happening to glance down its half-opened
+beak, I could just see that my wooden imitation of
+the kernel of the Peruvian yap bean had become
+lodged in its throat. This I at once removed, and, to
+my great joy, the dejected fowl almost immediately
+opened its eyes. Soon it became its old stately self
+again, though now I could see that the poor thing had
+aged very considerably since it left home.</p>
+
+<p>'Well, to cut a long story short, at length the gale
+ceased, and we landed safely on the shore, much nearer
+to our home, and, after many vicissitudes and adventures,
+of which I shall have great pleasure in telling
+you at another time, we eventually arrived at Glowmutton
+Castle.<!-- Page 78 --><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_78" id="Page_78">[Pg 78]</a></span></p>
+
+<p>'To my grief I learnt that my good aunt, Galladia,
+had died many years before of old age, and that, true
+to her own good-nature, her last commands were that
+if ever I should return with her dearly-loved fowl, my
+collection of eggs was to be handed back to me, and
+in recompense for all my privations and exertions to
+recover the bird, I was to have the care of it and the
+comfort of its society as long as it lived. So, now you
+see why I am so pleased with myself.'</p>
+
+<p>The King and the whole army were charmed with
+the recital, and the long man, whose many noble
+qualities had already endeared him to them, was cordially
+invited to join the forces.</p>
+
+<p>'It's all one to me, my cronies,' said the good-natured
+creature, and they all trudged on.</p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 273px;">
+<a href="images/i_113.jpg"><img src="images/i_113_tn.jpg" width="273" height="400" alt="" title="TAILPIECE" /></a>
+
+</div>
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<p><!-- Page 79 --><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_79" id="Page_79">[Pg 79]</a></span></p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 297px;">
+<a href="images/i_114.jpg"><img src="images/i_114_tn.jpg" width="297" height="400" alt="" title="TITLE-PAGE [The Doctor]" /></a>
+</div>
+<p><!-- Page 80 --><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_80" id="Page_80">[Pg 80]</a></span></p>
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 400px;">
+<a href="images/i_115.jpg"><img src="images/i_115_tn.jpg" width="400" height="293" alt="" title="HEADPIECE" /></a>
+</div>
+
+
+
+
+<h2><a name="THE_DOCTOR" id="THE_DOCTOR"></a>THE DOCTOR</h2>
+
+
+<p>For many days they had now travelled without
+meeting with any adventure, when one evening
+they saw coming towards them a bright young
+lad, who was leading by the hand an exceedingly
+learned-looking old gentleman. Their appearance was
+such as to arouse the King's curiosity to such a degree
+that he asked the boy the time as he was passing, and
+then, when all stood still in the road, he led the talk
+from one thing to another until at last, emboldened
+by their friendliness, the King came to the point,<!-- Page 81 --><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_81" id="Page_81">[Pg 81]</a></span>
+and asked the lad who he was and whence he had
+come.</p>
+
+<p>The two strangers then sat down at the side of the
+road, and the lad thus addressed the King:&mdash;</p>
+
+<p>'You may not believe it, but I am the original
+Ptolemy Jenkinson, the only and well-beloved nephew
+of that great and celebrated doctor, Ebenezer Scrout,
+whom you now see at my side. When, a trembling
+orphan, I was thrown upon an unfeeling world, he
+alone of my numerous uncles, aunts, so-called friends
+and guardians, undertook to find me a comfortable
+and even luxurious home, and so to educate me
+that I might prove worthy of occupying the exalted
+position for which I am destined.</p>
+
+<p>'Uncle Ebenezer was my mother's brother and, a
+true Scrout, he inherited all his good qualities from
+my grandfather, Phelim Scrout, the well-known turfcutter,
+from whom, by the way, I inherit most
+of mine&mdash;but of these it does not become me to
+speak.</p>
+
+<p>'Many people, jealous perhaps of his great fame,
+have ridiculed my uncle's claim to be a member of
+this ancient family, but to set this matter for ever at
+rest, I have here copied a few notes from the Scroutean
+genealogical tree, preserved in the archives of the
+family.' Ptolemy Jenkinson here took from his pocket
+and handed to Bill a sheet of paper upon which
+the following notes were written in a clear bold
+hand:<!-- Page 82 --><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_82" id="Page_82">[Pg 82]</a></span>&mdash;</p>
+
+
+<h3>MISTS OF THE PAST</h3>
+
+<table border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0"
+summary="Ptolomy Jenkinson's family tree">
+<tr>
+<td colspan="5">&nbsp;</td>
+<td colspan="2" class="tdr"><span class="smcap">Phelim Scrout</span> =</td>
+<td class="tdl">= <span class="smcap">Molly</span>?</td>
+</tr>
+<tr>
+<td colspan="3">&nbsp;</td>
+<td colspan="3" class="tdr">(The well-known turfcutter)</td>
+<td class="liner">&nbsp;</td>
+<td class="linel">&nbsp;</td>
+</tr>
+<tr>
+<td colspan="4">&nbsp;</td>
+<td colspan="2" class="bline">&nbsp;</td>
+<td class="brb">&nbsp;</td>
+<td class="blb">&nbsp;</td>
+<td colspan="3" class="bline">&nbsp;</td>
+</tr>
+<tr>
+<td colspan="3">&nbsp;</td>
+<td class="liner">&nbsp;</td>
+<td class="linel">&nbsp;</td>
+<td colspan="5">&nbsp;</td>
+<td class="liner">&nbsp;</td>
+<td class="linel">&nbsp;</td>
+</tr>
+<tr>
+<td colspan="3">&nbsp;</td>
+<td colspan="2" class="tdr"><span class="smcap">Tod Scrout</span> =</td>
+<td colspan="2" class="tdl">= <span class="smcap">Mandy M'Guire</span></td>
+<td colspan="3">&nbsp;</td>
+<td colspan="2" rowspan="3" class="tdc"><span class="smcap">Pearl</span> (died of <br />megrims at an <br />early age)</td>
+</tr>
+<tr>
+<td colspan="4">&nbsp;</td>
+<td class="liner">&nbsp;</td>
+<td class="linel">&nbsp;</td>
+</tr>
+<tr>
+<td colspan="4">&nbsp;</td>
+<td class="liner">&nbsp;</td>
+<td class="linel">&nbsp;</td>
+</tr>
+<tr>
+<td>&nbsp;</td>
+<td colspan="3" class="bline">&nbsp;</td>
+<td class="brb">&nbsp;</td>
+<td class="blb">&nbsp;</td>
+<td colspan="5" class="bline">&nbsp;</td>
+</tr>
+<tr>
+<td class="liner" style="width:5%">&nbsp;</td>
+<td class="linel" style="width:5%">&nbsp;</td>
+<td class="liner" style="width:5%">&nbsp;</td>
+<td class="linel" style="width:5%">&nbsp;</td>
+<td class="liner" style="width:5%">&nbsp;</td>
+<td class="linel" style="width:5%">&nbsp;</td>
+<td class="liner" style="width:5%">&nbsp;</td>
+<td class="linel" style="width:5%">&nbsp;</td>
+<td class="liner" style="width:5%">&nbsp;</td>
+<td class="linel" style="width:5%">&nbsp;</td>
+<td class="liner" style="width:5%">&nbsp;</td>
+<td class="linel" style="width:5%">&nbsp;</td>
+</tr>
+<tr>
+<td colspan="2" class="tdc"><span class="smcap">Lu</span></td>
+<td colspan="2" class="tdc"><span class="smcap">Ebenezer</span></td>
+<td colspan="2" class="tdc"><span class="smcap">Mandy</span></td>
+<td colspan="2" class="tdc"><span class="smcap">Cassandra</span>=</td>
+<td colspan="2" class="tdc"><span class="smcap">Wat</span></td>
+<td colspan="2" class="tdc"><span class="smcap">Lil</span><br /></td>
+</tr>
+<tr>
+<td colspan="6">&nbsp;</td>
+<td colspan="2" class="tdc"><span class="smcap">Tom Jenkinson</span></td>
+</tr>
+<tr>
+<td colspan="6">&nbsp;</td>
+<td class="liner">&nbsp;</td>
+<td class="linel">&nbsp;</td>
+</tr>
+<tr>
+<td colspan="6">&nbsp;</td>
+<td colspan="2" class="tdc"><span class="smcap">Ptolemy</span></td>
+</tr>
+</table>
+
+<p>When these had been examined by the company,
+Ptolemy resumed his tale:&mdash;</p>
+
+<p>'Uncle Eb, as I very soon learned to call him, was
+ever the victim of his own generous heart. Continually
+adopting people, both old and young, he was doomed
+to be taken advantage of by those to whom he was
+most kind. How well can I remember, amongst many
+another ungrateful adopted son, uncle, aunt or cousin,
+young Sigurd, the birthday-monger, who entered the
+family about the same time as myself. It was he who
+secretly wrote his name on each page of Uncle Eb's
+birthday-book and received a present every day from
+the absent-minded old gentleman until he was discovered
+writing his name twice on some pages and
+was straightway disadopted.</p>
+
+<p><!-- Page 83 --><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_83" id="Page_83">[Pg 83]</a></span></p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 285px;">
+<a href="images/i_118.jpg"><img src="images/i_118_tn.jpg" width="285" height="400" alt="" title="" /></a>
+<span class="caption">FAR SOONER HAVE THE MUMPS</span>
+</div>
+
+<p>'Not alone to his own family circle was the doctor's<!-- Page 84 --><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_84" id="Page_84">[Pg 84]</a></span>
+kindness confined; it extended to all with whom he
+came in contact. Before sending in his bills he always
+provided his patients with enough money to pay them,
+and promptly returned the cash with the receipts,
+deducting only one penny for the stamp in each
+case.</p>
+
+<p>'Invariably most sympathetic with his suffering
+patients, he spent many years of his noble life in
+studying how to make his medicines as pleasant and
+sweet to the taste as the most delightful confections
+ever placed upon the Lord Mayor's table, while his
+greatest endeavour was always to make a period of
+sickness one also of pleasurable relaxation for his
+patients.</p>
+
+<p>'In time the children went mad with excitement,
+and jumped for very joy on learning that they had
+contracted measles, and would far sooner, any day,
+have the mumps than a birthday every week. And
+oh! what thrills of joy would pass through their little
+frames on learning that they would have to lie up for
+a bilious attack and be attended by the good-natured
+Doctor Ebenezer Scrout, and treated with his delicious
+jalaps and powders.</p>
+
+<p>'Unfortunately, however, so pleasant was the treatment,
+that the children in time were even tempted to
+make themselves ill on purpose, by eating as many
+jam puffs as they could buy with their Saturday monies,
+and soon nearly every child was down with a bad
+bilious attack, and all the schools had to be closed.<!-- Page 85 --><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_85" id="Page_85">[Pg 85]</a></span></p>
+
+<p>'Even the grown-ups began to indulge in these
+jam puffs, buying them in large quantities and falling
+ill one by one, much preferring to be tucked up snugly
+in bed with a comfortable bilious attack and the good-natured
+doctor in attendance, to ordinary good health
+and hard work, with the many disappointments and
+trials of everyday life.</p>
+
+<p>'First the Lord Mayor was taken bad&mdash;then the
+leader of the town band and all his bandsmen. Now
+the shopmen began to feel queer, and one by one the
+aldermen toddled to their beds. In time everybody
+was laid up, and no one was left to do the work of the
+town. All the shops, theatres, markets, and railway
+stations were closed, and the streets quite deserted
+except for the doctor and the puff baker, each trying
+to undo the work of the other.</p>
+
+<p>'Hardly a sound could be heard in the streets
+except perhaps the clink of a spoon against a bottle
+from a room above, as some patient prepared his
+evening dose, or the shuffling footsteps of the old
+doctor as he went his daily round, and sometimes the
+loud rat-tat of the puff baker would awaken the echoes
+of the lonely streets as he called from door to door
+for orders in the morning.</p>
+
+<p>'Strange grasses and sweet-scented wild flowers
+began to grow in the streets, and mushrooms and
+straggling carrots forced a way between the crevices
+of the pavements. Sprays of wild spinach hung from
+the lamp-posts, and the market-place became one<!-- Page 86 --><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_86" id="Page_86">[Pg 86]</a></span>
+waving jungle of broccoli. The very sparrows, deprived
+of their daily crumbs, grew thin and nervy
+with the green diet they were compelled to subsist
+upon. Croaking and griding, instead of chirruping
+musically to their young as is their wont, they so
+affected the good-hearted doctor that he could never
+pass them without some cheering word, and never
+could he withstand the beseeching look in their eyes.
+Within doors the prospect was hardly more encouraging.
+Strong vegetable-marrows twined their
+branches and their many tendrils round the table legs
+and the chairs; great turnips stoutened and burst
+upon the stairs; spring onions bristled in the corners
+of the Lord Mayor's dining-hall, while his grand piano
+was completely hidden in the gorgeous festoons of
+mint that, unchecked, had run a ragged riot about the
+place.</p>
+
+<p><!-- Page 87 --><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_87" id="Page_87">[Pg 87]</a></span></p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 329px;">
+<a href="images/i_122.jpg"><img src="images/i_122_tn.jpg" width="329" height="400" alt="" title="" /></a>
+<span class="caption">THE PUFF BAKER</span>
+</div>
+
+<p>'At last, after two months of sickness, and despite
+every attention and kindness on the part of the doctor,
+the patients began to weary of being ill and kept to
+their beds for so long. The Lord Mayor was the first
+to arise and, although very weak in the legs, he managed
+to crawl to the top of the stairs, and looking
+down, beheld, to his dismay, the dreadful state of ruin
+in which everything was involved. He called for his
+servants as loudly as his weakness would allow him,
+and, obtaining no reply, he scrambled down the stairs
+on his hands and knees, and clamoured shrilly for
+a cut from the joint. As, of course, there was no one
+to procure this for him nor, indeed, any joint from
+which to procure a cut, he boiled himself an egg, and
+was able to survey the scene more calmly.</p>
+
+<p><!-- Page 88 --><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_88" id="Page_88">[Pg 88]</a></span></p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 400px;">
+<a href="images/i_123.jpg"><img src="images/i_123_tn.jpg" width="400" height="170" alt="" title="" /></a>
+<span class="caption">TREATED WITH DELICIOUS JALAPS</span>
+</div>
+
+<p>'Presently the aldermen crawled down one by one,
+then the shopmen, then the bandsmen, and, finally,
+the rest of the inhabitants, disturbed by the weeping
+and yells of those already arisen, struggled downstairs,
+and in agony beheld the general devastation.</p>
+
+<p>'Resolved not to touch another drop of the doctor's
+medicine, they satisfied the cravings of their hunger,
+which now began to be felt, on the wild marrows, turnips,
+and mushrooms that everywhere abounded, and
+by degrees regained a little of their former vigour.</p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 303px;">
+<a href="images/i_126.jpg"><img src="images/i_126_tn.jpg" width="303" height="400" alt="" title="" /></a>
+<span class="caption">The Lord Mayor held a long council</span>
+</div>
+
+<p>'The Lord Mayor and aldermen, already feeling
+a little more comfortable, held a long council, at which
+it was decided that it would be less expensive to burn
+the old town, and to build a new one on its site, than
+to try and clear up the old one. It was also decided<!-- Page 89 --><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_89" id="Page_89">[Pg 89]</a></span>
+to arrest the unfortunate doctor, whom they all now
+joined in accusing as the cause of their trouble, and
+bring him to trial.</p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 400px;">
+<a href="images/i_128.jpg"><img src="images/i_128_tn.jpg" width="400" height="185" alt="" title="" /></a>
+<span class="caption">AS SOME PATIENT PREPARED HIS DOSE</span>
+</div>
+
+<p>'In the course of time the town was rebuilt, and
+the doctor was the first prisoner to stand on his trial
+at the new Town Hall.</p>
+
+<p>'On the appointed day the Hall was crammed to
+its utmost, as at one time the prisoner had been much
+loved and looked up to by his fellow-townsmen.</p>
+
+<p>'When the Lord Mayor arrived in state, between
+two Admirals of the Fleet, and took his seat, the foreman
+of the jury awakened his brother-jurors, who had
+been dozing off, and called for three cheers for the
+Lord Mayor, in which everybody joined. The Lord
+Mayor made no reply, except to frown severely at the
+foreman, and proceeded at once with the business in
+hand. "Lock all the doors and bring in the prisoner,"<!-- Page 90 --><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_90" id="Page_90">[Pg 90]</a></span>
+cried he in a loud voice, after clearing his throat. The
+doors were instantly locked, but some confusion arose
+when it was discovered that they could not bring in
+the prisoner unless one were unlocked again. On this
+being very politely pointed out to the Lord Mayor (who
+did not seem quite to like being corrected), he altered
+his order, and cried out: "Bring in the prisoner, and
+lock all the doors." Immediately the band struck up
+the most martial music and the prisoner was brought
+in, tied tightly with twine, sealed with red sealing-wax,
+and guarded by a squad of infantry, who at once
+formed fours, and marked time for the rest of the
+afternoon.</p>
+
+<p>'When the music had ceased, and the general
+excitement caused by the entrance of the prisoner had
+subsided, the Lord Mayor politely requested him to
+take a seat, which he very gladly did, on being untied
+by the policeman.</p>
+
+<p>'Now, as every one knew that the doctor had really
+been the cause of all the trouble, the only point to be
+decided at the trial was whether he had done it intentionally
+or not, and the Lord Mayor addressed him
+accordingly, asking him if he had anything to say upon
+the subject. The doctor happened to be thinking of
+something else at the moment and, moreover, had his
+head turned in another direction, watching a fly on
+the window of the hall, so that he did not hear the
+question. The Lord Mayor waited about a quarter
+of an hour for an answer, and receiving none, he<!-- Page 91 --><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_91" id="Page_91">[Pg 91]</a></span>
+called, in an annoyed tone, for the witnesses for the
+prosecution.</p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 400px;">
+<a href="images/i_130.jpg"><img src="images/i_130_tn.jpg" width="400" height="336" alt="" title="" /></a>
+<span class="caption">THE VERY SPARROWS GREW THIN</span>
+</div>
+
+<p>'The principal witness for the prosecution was a
+Sicilian char-woman, whose evidence was translated by
+one of the many aldermen present to assist in case of
+need. It appeared that in her young days she had
+made the acquaintance of a young and handsome
+Sicilian waiter, a distant cousin, and a native of the
+village in which she was born. So friendly did they<!-- Page 92 --><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_92" id="Page_92">[Pg 92]</a></span>
+become in time that he had confided to her many of
+the secrets of his life, and, amongst others, one that
+had weighed very heavily upon his mind. Some time
+previously, when employed at a well-known refreshment
+hall, on the coast of Lombardy, he had waited
+upon a distinguished young gentleman of considerable
+means, and had overheard him whisper to a chance
+acquaintance, seated at the next table, that a friend of
+his, a tall dark man, had met a young lady at a whist-party,
+whose greatest friend had an aunt, formerly
+engaged to a well-meaning curate, who averred that
+his brother knew for certain that <span class="smcap">IT WAS DONE QUITE
+INTENTIONALLY BY</span> &mdash;&mdash; Here the waiter was called
+away to another client, and did not hear the rest of
+the sentence.</p>
+
+<p>'Now the Sicilian char-woman, on hearing this
+from her good friend, was much puzzled, and not
+knowing to whom the words might refer, made a
+mental note of it at the time. On reading of the
+arrest of the doctor, however, and of what he was
+accused, she concluded that there must be some
+connection between him and the man mentioned
+by the brother of the well-meaning curate formerly
+engaged to the aunt of the greatest friend of the
+young lady who was met at the whist party by the
+tall dark friend of the young gentleman of considerable
+means who, as you know, was waited upon by
+the Sicilian waiter at the well-known refreshment
+hall in Lombardy, so she had hastened from Sicily<!-- Page 93 --><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_93" id="Page_93">[Pg 93]</a></span>
+to tell her tale. At the conclusion of her evidence
+a murmur of admiration was heard all over the court,
+and the Lord Mayor was so charmed with her and
+the really pleasant way in which she had told her tale,
+that he lightly threw a half-crown to her across the
+hall, which she very neatly caught. She then sat
+down, amidst the cheers of the crowd.</p>
+
+<p>'The principal witness for the defence was a young
+journeyman tailor, who stated that on cleaning out
+the pockets of an old coat which had been left at his
+house for repairs by a dark gentleman of mysterious
+appearance, he had discovered an old envelope upon
+which he could just trace the figures 56&mdash;6.30 <span class="smcap">A.M.</span>
+The coat was never called for, and the tailor pondered
+over the envelope, but could make nothing of it. He
+showed it to every policeman of his acquaintance,
+but not one could unravel the mystery, and, as a last
+resource, he procured an introduction to the principal
+policeman in the British Museum Library. This great
+man examined the envelope very carefully, but with
+no result, and the only advice he could give him was
+to call at every house numbered 56 at 6.30 in the
+morning and see what would happen.</p>
+
+<p>'The tailor followed this advice diligently for some
+time and met with many rebuffs, as he had nothing to
+say on the door being opened to him. At length one
+morning he came to an empty house numbered 56,
+the steps of which were littered with straw. Gazing
+hopelessly at this for some time, he noticed that three<!-- Page 94 --><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_94" id="Page_94">[Pg 94]</a></span>
+pieces pointed distinctly in one direction to the
+corner of the street, and you may well imagine his
+surprise when, on following the direction indicated
+by the straw, he came across this postcard.'</p>
+
+<p>Ptolemy Jenkinson here handed this torn postcard
+to the company.</p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 337px;">
+<a href="images/i_133.jpg"><img src="images/i_133_tn.jpg" width="337" height="400" alt="" title="POSTCARD" /></a>
+</div>
+
+<p>Ptolemy again proceeded with his story:&mdash;</p>
+
+<p>'Now the tailor, more puzzled than ever, took the
+card home, and, after weeks of deep thinking, decided
+that the card must have been completed thus.'</p>
+
+<p>Ptolemy here handed the remaining portion of
+card, with the tailor's suggested completion, to the
+company.</p>
+
+<p>'You may guess the surprise of every one present
+when the tailor produced the completed card. The
+Lord Mayor gazed at it in astonishment. He turned
+it over and over, and suddenly noticing that there
+was a foreign stamp on the other side, he became
+more excited than ever, and asked if he might tear<!-- Page 95 --><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_95" id="Page_95">[Pg 95]</a></span>
+it off, as his son had rather a good collection. This
+the tailor readily allowed him to do, and this put the
+Lord Mayor in a good temper for the rest of the
+afternoon, and gave a more cheerful aspect to the
+case altogether.</p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 400px;">
+<a href="images/i_134.jpg"><img src="images/i_134_tn.jpg" width="400" height="216" alt="" title="POSTCARD" /></a>
+</div>
+
+<p>'After the tailor's evidence, which, of course,
+proved that the doctor had not intended to bring
+about the harm of which he had been the unfortunate
+cause, there was nothing for the Lord
+Mayor to do but to acquit the prisoner, which he
+did, much to everybody's relief.</p>
+
+<p>'The Lord Mayor then retired, after ordering a
+new suit of clothes from the journeyman tailor, and
+inviting the Sicilian charwoman and the other
+witnesses to progressive whist and to be introduced
+to his family.</p>
+
+<p>'So, Gentlemen,' said Ptolemy in conclusion, 'my
+uncle and myself are quite free at last, and entirely
+at your service.'<!-- Page 96 --><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_96" id="Page_96">[Pg 96]</a></span></p>
+
+<p>Such a valuable offer could not very well be
+refused, so, after explaining the object of the expedition
+to their new friends, the whole force moved
+joyfully on.</p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 400px;">
+<a href="images/i_135.jpg"><img src="images/i_135_tn.jpg" width="400" height="282" alt="" title="TAILPIECE" /></a>
+</div>
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+
+<p><!-- Page 97 --><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_97" id="Page_97">[Pg 97]</a></span></p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 295px;">
+<a href="images/i_136.jpg"><img src="images/i_136_tn.jpg" width="295" height="400" alt="" title="TITLE_PAGE [The Respectable Gentleman and the Boy Scout]" /></a>
+</div>
+
+<p><!-- Page 98 --><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_98" id="Page_98">[Pg 98]</a></span></p>
+
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 400px;">
+<a href="images/i_137.jpg"><img src="images/i_137_tn.jpg" width="400" height="335" alt="" title="HEADPIECE" /></a>
+</div>
+
+<h2>THE RESPECTABLE GENTLEMAN<br />
+AND THE BOY SCOUT</h2>
+
+
+<p>In due time the gallant army arrived at the little
+town of Killgruel, a very respectable place
+indeed, at which they spent the pleasantest of
+week-ends, entertained at 'At Homes,' soir�es, and
+receptions, to any number of which every member of
+the expedition was invited during their brief stay.
+Bill and the King were the guests of the very respectable
+and Right Honourable Hesketh Fitzgreynib, the
+Mayor of Killgruel, who entertained them with the
+extremest gentility imaginable. So respectable and<!-- Page 99 --><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_99" id="Page_99">[Pg 99]</a></span>
+genteel was their host, that it had been said of him
+that never had he been known to don the same suit
+twice, having at the very least a new one every day;
+nor had he ever been seen to remove his lavender
+gloves even at meal times. It was also reported that,
+not content with bowing most politely to every one he
+met in the street, he behaved in a like genteel manner
+to all the pillar-boxes and lamp-posts that he passed
+upon his way, and that he always walked sideways
+down the street with his back to the wall, in order
+that he should not be compelled to turn it upon the
+passers-by. Whether these reports are true or not,
+it is certain that he was the most gentlemanly gentleman
+in all Killgruel, a town which could boast more
+elegant and refined people than any other town in the
+whole world.</p>
+
+<p>He was indeed the pride of Killgruel, and so
+respected by his fellow-townsmen, who valued him
+greatly for his exceptional gentlemanliness, that he
+was not allowed to soil his hands by so much as a
+stroke of work, but only to be respectable from morning
+to night. An intelligent boy scout was employed to
+look after him, and even to think for him, with orders
+never on any account to leave him, so that in time
+this respectable gentleman became very respectable
+indeed, and relying for almost everything on the
+intelligence and affection of the boy scout, who now
+performed for him even his duties as Mayor of
+Killgruel, the good man was enabled to devote his<!-- Page 100 --><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_100" id="Page_100">[Pg 100]</a></span>
+whole thoughts to the cultivation of his respectability.</p>
+
+<p>His good wife, the Lady Lilian Leankettle, who
+was extravagantly devoted to her husband, shone in
+the same brilliant manner, and was quoted as a model
+of gentility by all the good wives of the little community,
+while Bildith, their charming and handsome
+daughter, gave every promise of inheriting their
+interesting ways.</p>
+
+<p>But delightful as all this was to the band of
+warriors, on Monday morning they were compelled to
+resume their journey. It was, however, so early when
+they were ready to start that the gates of the town
+were not unlocked, so the Honourable Hesketh, with
+whom, as Mayor of Killgruel, the keys were always
+left at night, allowed the scout to take the keys and
+let the wanderers out. After a charmingly polite
+farewell from the Right Honourable Hesketh and
+others of their entertainers who had gathered by the
+town hall to see them off, the gallant band marched
+down the high street towards the only gate of the
+town, headed by the intelligent boy scout. From the
+first the King showed symptoms of being rather unmanageable,
+and Bill had great difficulty in getting
+him past the shops, which were now all taking down
+their shutters, and when they arrived at the sweet-stuff
+shop there was nothing for it but to go in and
+buy him some cocoanut ice.</p>
+
+<p>At length they managed to get clear of the gates,<!-- Page 101 --><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_101" id="Page_101">[Pg 101]</a></span>
+which were then closed with a bang behind them, and
+the last they saw of the intelligent boy scout was with
+the great town keys held firmly between his teeth, in
+order that he might hold with one hand the top of
+the wall to which he had hastily climbed, while with
+the other he waved a fond good-bye to the departing
+wanderers.</p>
+
+<p>With a great gurgling cry, which all took to be
+one of grief at their departure, the affectionate lad
+suddenly disappeared and the brave fellows resumed
+their march.</p>
+
+<p>Their road now took them across the mountains at
+the foot of which nestled the little town of Killgruel.
+Towards evening the noble fellows were crossing the
+highest peaks of the range, weary, and looking forward
+to their supper and a good night's rest, both of which
+they proposed to take in the woods on the other side
+of the mountains. Every one now began to notice
+that the old King seemed worried about something or
+other, and the further they marched the more fidgety
+he became, until at last, when they had nearly descended
+to the woods on the other side, the old
+aggravator called his general to him and said:&mdash;'Bill,
+did you happen to notice in the window of the principal
+sweet-stuff shop in the Killgruel high street, three
+fine fat sticks of liquorice leaning against the bottle
+containing the pear drops? Well, I can't get them
+out of my mind.' Bill tried to persuade him to forget
+them, and talked of many other things, in order to<!-- Page 102 --><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_102" id="Page_102">[Pg 102]</a></span>
+distract him from such thoughts. Presently he
+appeared to grow easier, and as he did not for some
+time again refer to the liquorice sticks, Bill was
+pleased to think that he had been successful in directing
+the old boy's thoughts into another channel.
+However, as they were unpacking their things in the
+woods at which they had now arrived and were lighting
+fires, preparatory to cooking their suppers, the truly
+exasperating creature again called Bill to him. 'Bill,'
+said he, with the most miserable face in the world,
+'it's no good. I can't forget 'em, try as I will. I
+don't want any of that nasty porridge I know they
+are about to prepare for supper. I must have some
+of those liquorice sticks.'</p>
+
+<p>Hiding his annoyance as much as he could, Bill
+tried to convince him how nice porridge really is and
+how good for him, but the discontented old man, who
+no doubt had been very much spoilt as a boy, would
+hear nothing of it. 'I don't want to be done good to,'
+cried he, 'and if I don't have those liquorice sticks
+to-night before I go to bed I know I shall get the
+fidgets and not be able to sleep a wink.'</p>
+
+<p>Bill now pointed out the difficulty of obtaining the
+liquorice, the distance being so great that it would be
+impossible to have it brought to the camp before midnight
+at the very earliest.</p>
+
+<p>The King, however, was obdurate, and Bill was
+now compelled, much against his will, to summon
+the whole army together and call for a volunteer<!-- Page 103 --><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_103" id="Page_103">[Pg 103]</a></span>
+to fetch the liquorice, but not one, not even the
+pluckful Chad, would venture to return alone to
+Killgruel along the dreary mountain road in the
+gathering night. Bill then suggested that two or
+three should return together and keep each other
+company, but it was of no avail. At last, the only way
+out of the difficulty that occurred to Bill was for half
+the army to return for the liquorice, and the other
+half to remain in the woods; but here yet another
+difficulty arose, for no one would stay in the woods
+with the army weakened to that extent.</p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 400px;">
+<a href="images/i_142.jpg"><img src="images/i_142_tn.jpg" width="400" height="261" alt="" title="" /></a>
+<span class="caption">BOWING POLITELY TO THE PILLAR BOXES</span>
+</div>
+
+<p>At length Bill returned to the whimpering old
+potentate and once more endeavoured to dissuade<!-- Page 104 --><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_104" id="Page_104">[Pg 104]</a></span>
+him from his selfish purpose, but the more Bill talked,
+the more obstinate the old King became, and had it
+not been for the severe training Bill had had as a
+minder, he must assuredly have lost control of his
+temper.</p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 400px;">
+<a href="images/i_143.jpg"><img src="images/i_143_tn.jpg" width="400" height="170" alt="" title="" /></a>
+<span class="caption">THE CHURCH STEEPLE HAD BEEN REMOVED</span>
+</div>
+
+<p>'I must have that liquorice,' whined the old
+grizzler, 'and if there is no other way of obtaining
+it the whole army must pack up sticks and return
+to Killgruel.'</p>
+
+<p>Many were the growls of discontent uttered by
+the poor fellows when Bill gave the necessary orders
+to pack up again and prepare to return over the
+mountains. Only by dint of the kindest words did
+he restrain a mutiny, encouraging them at the same
+time to humour the old baby and put up with his
+strange ways until he was restored to his throne,
+when, no doubt, he would make it up to them in
+many ways.<!-- Page 105 --><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_105" id="Page_105">[Pg 105]</a></span></p>
+
+<p>In a little time the brave fellows were all on the
+march again, but the day was breaking by the time
+they arrived once more before the walls of Killgruel,
+all utterly tired, grumpy, and footsore. Bill strode up
+to the gates of the town, which, of course, at that time
+of the morning were still closed, and pulled the bell
+vigorously. He waited some time, and as there was
+no reply, he pulled the bell again, and then, after
+another interval, he rang it with all his force, but with
+no result whatever. He could now, however, hear a
+great muttering on the other side of the wall and
+considerable running to and fro, so he determined to
+wait patiently. At length the little wicket in the
+gate was opened and one of the Killgruellers looked
+out, and, recognising Bill and his comrades, hastily
+shut the wicket again after promising to fetch the
+Mayor.</p>
+
+<p>Bill now waited a very long time before the
+wicket opened again, and in the meantime his poor
+comrades, nearly overcome with their fatigue and
+their hunger, had set up their camp before the
+walls and prepared their breakfast, after eating
+which not one of them was able to keep his eyes
+open a moment longer, and all fell fast asleep before
+their fires. Even the old King dozed off and snored
+peacefully in his tent, forgetting, for the first time
+in twenty-four hours, the sticks of liquorice, upon
+the enjoyment of which he had so much set his
+heart.<!-- Page 106 --><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_106" id="Page_106">[Pg 106]</a></span></p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 317px;">
+<a href="images/i_145.jpg"><img src="images/i_145_tn.jpg" width="317" height="400" alt="" title="" /></a>
+<span class="caption">STANDING ALONE UPON THE WALLS</span>
+</div>
+
+<p>Bill alone of the whole force remained awake, and
+waited and waited, and as he stood before the gates
+of the little town, the noise within grew louder and
+louder until there was a terrific hub-bub within the
+walls. At last the wicket opened and the face of the
+respectable Mayor appeared in the little opening, but
+so altered that at first Bill hardly recognised his good<!-- Page 107 --><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_107" id="Page_107">[Pg 107]</a></span>
+host of the day before, so upset and disturbed did he
+seem.</p>
+
+<p>The poor man then in the most nervous manner
+explained that no one in the town had seen anything
+of the boy scout nor of the town keys since he had let
+the army out of the gate the previous morning, and
+until they found them it was, of course, impossible to
+let any one in. However, the good fellow (who
+certainly seemed rather helpless without his faithful
+attendant), besought Bill to wait patiently, as they
+had not yet given up hope of being able to open the
+gate. The wicket was again hurriedly closed, and
+Bill, sitting down by the gate, prepared to wait as
+patiently as he could. So tired, however, was the
+noble lad, that in spite of all his endeavours to remain
+awake he soon fell fast asleep. Long and deeply
+did he slumber, when he was awakened by a most
+terrible and deafening noise within the town, which
+had been growing greater and greater during his
+repose.</p>
+
+<p>Fortunately all in the camp, on account of their
+great fatigue, were so deep in sleep that the great
+uproar was unable to awaken them, but Bill at once
+stood up and scaled the walls to ascertain if possible
+the cause of the awful din.</p>
+
+<p>The hub-bub was truly deafening, and from his
+position on the walls Bill could see all over the little
+town, which was in a shocking state of confusion.
+The contents of every house were turned into the<!-- Page 108 --><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_108" id="Page_108">[Pg 108]</a></span>
+streets, and the distracted inhabitants everywhere
+hunting amongst the furniture and taking it to pieces
+in their search for the lost keys. Beds were cut open
+and discharged their feathers in great clouds that
+floated about the town; the church steeple had been
+removed and shaken, and the inside well scoured;
+many of the good people were descending chimneys
+attached to lines; pavements were lifted, cellars
+ransacked, the Town Hall taken to little pieces, old
+houses pulled down, pillar-boxes cleared out, and
+lamp-posts blown through by the perplexed and
+almost frantic Killgruellers in their efforts to find
+the lost keys. All the milk, the wine, the water,
+the lemonade and the gravy were being strained
+through butterfly nets or lawn tennis rackets, and,
+after melting it down, all the butter, dripping and
+lard was treated in the same way. The treacle tanks
+and great reservoirs of linseed tea were thoroughly
+dragged, but with no result whatever.</p>
+
+<p>A great procession of the townsmen nearly filled
+the high street which led from the gate to the further
+end of the town. One by one they approached the
+gates and tried every key they possessed. All kinds
+of keys, latch keys, watch keys, cupboard keys, box
+keys were tried, but not one could be found that
+would open the lock. To make matters even more
+unbearable, the respectable Mayor, to whom, of
+course, every one looked for direction and advice
+in their trouble, was of no earthly use whatever<!-- Page 109 --><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_109" id="Page_109">[Pg 109]</a></span>
+without his scout, upon whom he had so accustomed
+himself to rely, that he was perfectly helpless without
+him. His respectability, exert it as much as he would,
+made no difference of any kind upon the situation,
+except, perhaps, to place the poor man in everybody's
+way.</p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 400px;">
+<a href="images/i_148.jpg"><img src="images/i_148_tn.jpg" width="400" height="307" alt="" title="" /></a>
+<span class="caption">DANGLING BY HIS LEGS</span>
+</div>
+
+<p>Bill returned to the King who, with the whole
+camp, was now wide awake, and wondering what on
+earth was taking place in the town. Bill at once
+hastened to explain the state of things, in the hope
+that the old man would at last give up all idea of the<!-- Page 110 --><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_110" id="Page_110">[Pg 110]</a></span>
+liquorice; but in this he was much mistaken, for,
+instead of replying to Bill, the grumpy old provoker
+turned sulky and would not say a word, so that there
+was nothing for the poor lad to do but to wait with
+what patience he could assume.</p>
+
+<p>The day declined, with no lessening of the terrific
+din within the town, and the gates remained obstinately
+closed. As evening approached, little clouds of smoke,
+with now and again a spurt of flame, could be seen
+rising from the other side of the walls. Presently a
+single Killgrueller was observed upon the walls, from
+which he nimbly leapt to the ground on the outer side,
+and made off round the base of the mountains, in an
+opposite direction to the camp. Now another appeared
+and disappeared in the same way; then another and
+another, and yet another, and then families of two,
+three, and four. At last whole crowds came scrambling
+over the walls, and vanished in the same direction,
+all carrying as many of their belongings as they could
+conveniently bring along with them.</p>
+
+<p>This went on until all the inhabitants, with the
+exception of the Mayor, had left the now blazing town,
+when he was seen standing alone upon the walls. Like
+the captain of a sinking ship, the noble fellow had
+waited until all had found safety before he sought it
+for himself. Bill hastened to assist him in his descent,
+and no sooner had the poor man reached the ground
+than Bill led him gently before the King and all the
+officers of the little army, who were assembled together
+watching the flames, and besought him to give them
+some explanation of these truly unaccountable proceedings
+of the Killgruellers.</p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 300px;">
+<a href="images/i_152.jpg"><img src="images/i_152_tn.jpg" width="300" height="400" alt="" title="" /></a>
+<span class="caption">The Respectable Gentleman</span>
+</div>
+
+<p>'Alas! and alack-a-day!' sighed the unfortunate<!-- Page 111 --><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_111" id="Page_111">[Pg 111]</a></span>
+gentleman, 'allow me first of all to put four questions
+to you. Firstly, What is the good of a locked lock
+without a key?'</p>
+
+<p>They were all forced to admit that it was of no use
+whatever.</p>
+
+<p>'Secondly, What is the good of a gate with a useless
+lock that won't unlock?'</p>
+
+<p>No earthly use, all again admitted.</p>
+
+<p>'Thirdly, What is the use of a town if you can't
+get into it?'</p>
+
+<p>Of course, they all agreed there was only one answer
+to that.</p>
+
+<p>'And now, fourthly and lastly,' said the Mayor,
+'What do you do with all useless things?'</p>
+
+<p>'Destroy them,' Bill promptly rejoined.</p>
+
+<p>'Exactly,' said the Right Honourable Hesketh,
+'and that is what we have done with our now useless
+town, and all the inhabitants are hastening to build
+another town on the further side of the mountain, the
+gates of which shall always be nailed open in order
+that such a dreadful calamity may not occur again.'</p>
+
+<p>Bill somehow could not help thinking that there
+might have been another way out of the difficulty, but
+he did not like to say so. The old King at last realised
+that the Killgruel liquorice was not for him, so he<!-- Page 112 --><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_112" id="Page_112">[Pg 112]</a></span>
+offered no serious objections when Bill, early next
+morning, gave the necessary orders to pack up and
+prepare for the march, which they now resumed. The
+respectable gentleman preferred to remain with them
+rather than again face the unfortunate Killgruellers.</p>
+
+<p>They had not advanced very far upon their road,
+when Bill, who generally walked a little in advance of
+his troop, heard a strange clanking noise that appeared
+to proceed from a tall tree at the wayside. Wondering
+what odd bird possessed such an unmusical song, he
+allowed his gaze to wander thoughtfully among the
+leaves when, suddenly, what should he behold but the
+form of the vanished scout, dangling by his legs from
+a branch, and every time the tree was gently stirred
+by the breeze, there came forth upon the air this
+weird sound.</p>
+
+<p>Bill hastened to cut him down, but, to his unspeakable
+surprise, the unhappy young stripling cried,
+'Don't, don't! the keys! the keys!' He then explained
+that when bidding farewell to them the other morning
+from the walls of Killgruel, in his excitement he had
+suddenly fallen back and swallowed the keys which, at
+the time, he had been holding between his teeth. Bill
+now recalled the strange cry that the poor lad had
+uttered as they left Killgruel on that occasion. However,
+in spite of his reluctance to be right side up
+again until he had recovered the keys, Bill insisted
+on fetching him down, and, in the severe struggle that
+ensued, the keys fell out of the boy's throat.<!-- Page 113 --><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_113" id="Page_113">[Pg 113]</a></span></p>
+
+<p>When at length the army came upon the scene,
+nothing could exceed the joy of the respectable Mayor
+at beholding his good attendant, whom he had
+despaired of ever seeing again. He easily persuaded
+the willing young creature to remain with him, and
+share the fortunes of the King of Troy, and thus,
+with this very welcome addition to their forces,
+the gallant band marched on.</p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 400px;">
+<a href="images/i_156.jpg"><img src="images/i_156_tn.jpg" width="400" height="301" alt="" title="TAILPIECE" /></a>
+</div>
+<p><!-- Page 114 --><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_114" id="Page_114">[Pg 114]</a></span></p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 212px;">
+<a href="images/i_157.jpg"><img src="images/i_157_tn.jpg" width="212" height="400" alt="" title="VIGNETTE" /></a>
+</div>
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<p><!-- Page 115 --><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_115" id="Page_115">[Pg 115]</a></span></p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 301px;">
+<a href="images/i_158.jpg"><img src="images/i_158_tn.jpg" width="301" height="400" alt="" title="TITLE-PAGE [The Sicilian Char-Woman]" /></a>
+</div>
+
+<p><!-- Page 116 --><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_116" id="Page_116">[Pg 116]</a></span></p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 400px;">
+<a href="images/i_159.jpg"><img src="images/i_159_tn.jpg" width="400" height="265" alt="" title="HEADPIECE" /></a>
+</div>
+
+
+
+
+<h2><a name="THE_SICILIAN_CHAR-WOMAN" id="THE_SICILIAN_CHAR-WOMAN"></a>THE SICILIAN CHAR-WOMAN</h2>
+
+
+<p>Some weeks after leaving Killgruel, the noble
+little band entered a great forest, in the middle
+of which they overtook a stately char-woman;
+and no sooner did the Doctor behold her than he left
+the ranks, and going up to her, shook her kindly by
+the hand. He then introduced her to the King as
+the Sicilian Char-woman, and very chatty and pleasant
+she proved to be, and as she was travelling in the
+same direction, she graciously entertained them with
+the story of her life:&mdash;</p>
+
+<p>'You may indeed find it more than difficult to<!-- Page 117 --><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_117" id="Page_117">[Pg 117]</a></span>
+believe me when I aver that I am the daughter of an
+Arabian Prince, and that in my early years I was considered
+not merely the most intelligent, but also the
+most beautiful and fascinating creature in my father's
+dominion. As companions in my early childhood I had
+sixteen elder sisters, all of whom were blessed with
+singularly affectionate natures, and were generally
+declared to be only less beautiful and intelligent than
+myself. No care or expense was spared in our education
+and in fitting us for the truly exalted position it
+was hoped that we should occupy, as the daughters of
+a distinguished Arabian Prince. With this good end
+in view, the services were secured of the best of music-masters,
+dancing-masters, and instructors in the many
+graceful accomplishments that were becoming to our
+rank; yet, alas! with all that one could reasonably
+ask for, with every whim and wish gratified almost
+before it was expressed, with the most indulgent of
+parents, whose sole joy was to fill our lives with
+happiness, a settled melancholy by degrees possessed
+my soul and rendered me unfit to share the youthful
+pleasures of my sisters. It was not that I was in any
+way unmindful of all the kindness shown to me in
+countless ways, but that a craving, always with me
+since my earliest days, to see the wonderful world
+I had so often heard described in glowing terms,
+grew with me as time went by, and, weary of the
+idle life I led, I longed to use and develop in wider
+fields the great intelligence I had been gifted with.<!-- Page 118 --><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_118" id="Page_118">[Pg 118]</a></span></p>
+
+<p>'At first, as was to be expected, my parents would
+not hear of my leaving them, but seeing that
+I grew sadder and more discontented day by day,
+they at length reluctantly gave their consent, for,
+after all, what greater wish had they than for my
+happiness.</p>
+
+<p>'After many consultations with the wisest men in
+my father's court, it was decided that I should take a
+course of instruction at the Royal Charing College of
+Sicily, and, on the fateful day, I took leave of my
+sorrowing parents and sisters, and, in charge of the
+Grand Vizier, left for Sicily.</p>
+
+<p>'With such good introductions as my father was
+easily able to command, I had no difficulty in gaining
+an entry to the College, in which I very soon learnt
+to distinguish myself. No lack of enthusiasm and
+industry did I bring to my tasks, and a native ability
+far above the average soon found opportunities for
+development, so that in the course of time I was
+discharged, a fully certified and perfected char-woman.</p>
+
+<p>'Since those early days my skill, my virtues, and
+my affections have been devoted to the welfare of
+many families, some of whom were undoubtedly good,
+some indifferent, while some again were undoubtedly
+bad. But without any question the worst household
+of all was that of the Pettigrew Leanmuffins, when
+first I devoted myself to the wellbeing of its members.
+Afterwards, however, as you shall hear, their trials,<!-- Page 119 --><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_119" id="Page_119">[Pg 119]</a></span>
+together with my disinterested conduct, wrought a
+reformation in their natures as astounding as it was
+welcome to all who knew them.</p>
+
+<p>'Mr. Pettigrew Leanmuffins himself, a man of some
+attainments, though ill-tempered and close to a degree
+bordering on meanness, had little enough to do with
+me, hardly ever, indeed, disguising his efforts to ignore
+my very existence; but no words at my command
+could describe the ungenerous nature of Mrs. Leanmuffins,
+who not only refused to concede any little
+favours to me, such as gracefully offering to entertain
+my worthy friend the waiter and his respectable
+family, but even denied, with much asperity, my right
+to enjoy an afternoon nap on the drawing-room
+lounge.</p>
+
+<p>'Of no value, in her prejudiced eyes, were the
+hardly-earned diplomas that had been awarded me
+during my five years' course at the College, and though
+richly illuminated with gold, amethysts and pearls,
+and framed in gorgeously brocaded velvet, she would
+not hear of my certificates for charing being displayed
+on the walls of the music-room beside her daughters'
+certificates for musical proficiency. With such poor
+examples as their parents constantly before them, it is
+not to be wondered at that the three daughters,
+Grillette, Pandalaura, and Blen should discover to
+one, who would have been their good friend, natures
+so mean that there seemed little promise of their ever
+possessing more generous dispositions. Rather, the<!-- Page 120 --><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_120" id="Page_120">[Pg 120]</a></span>
+wonder is that they were not really worse than they
+were, and beyond the chance of any reformation.</p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 400px;">
+<a href="images/i_163.jpg"><img src="images/i_163_tn.jpg" width="400" height="293" alt="" title="" /></a>
+<span class="caption">I TOOK LEAVE OF MY SORROWING FATHER</span>
+</div>
+
+<p>'Each valued her own paltry and merely ornamental
+accomplishments at a far higher rate than my own
+well proved and certified skill in the serious art of
+charing, and in their own rude way they never missed
+an opportunity of reminding me of their fancied
+superiority.</p>
+
+<p>'During these early years of trial no other consolation
+had I than the society of the youngest of the
+Leanmuffin brood&mdash;Basil Herbert, one who as yet<!-- Page 121 --><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_121" id="Page_121">[Pg 121]</a></span>
+had not developed the mean disposition of his parents
+and sisters. For hours together, when the other
+Leanmuffins were away at some jaunt or frolic mayhap,
+would I, perhaps smarting under some recent indignity,
+pour forth my troubles into his not unwilling ears.
+Though but two years of age at the most, he seemed
+to understand, and I felt that in his own quiet way
+he gave me his sympathy. I therefore resolved in my
+young heart that he, at least, should not be spoilt,
+and to save him from falling to the depths of the
+other Leanmuffins was now my one hope in life.</p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 400px;">
+<a href="images/i_164.jpg"><img src="images/i_164_tn.jpg" width="400" height="300" alt="" title="" /></a>
+<span class="caption">HARDLY DISGUISING HIS EFFORTS TO IGNORE ME</span>
+</div><p><!-- Page 122 --><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_122" id="Page_122">[Pg 122]</a></span></p>
+
+<p>'How often would I, in dumb show, act kind deeds
+before him in little scenes and plays that I had
+composed for the purpose, using the kitchen utensils
+to personify my various characters, thus accustoming
+his growing mind to kind thoughts, until in time he
+gave promise of becoming as virtuous as he was handsome.</p>
+
+<p>'He endeared himself to all by his amiable ways,
+though none suspected to whose loving and untiring
+care they were due, and friends, nay, even strangers
+from distant lands travelled to see him, and marvelled
+at his decorous and kindly behaviour, which charmed
+as well as astonished all beholders.</p>
+
+<p>'His virtues, however, strong as they were, did
+not render him immune to the weaknesses to which
+young children are liable, and in his fifth year he
+developed a chilblain of the most painful description.
+Every remedy was tried, dried turnip seed, applications
+of roasted capers, poultices of wild figs and nard,
+fomentations of honey and turbot's roe, and many
+other recipes for the curing of chilblains, recommended
+by anxious friends. Nevertheless the blain
+grew chillier and chillier until at last they were compelled
+to send for a physician.</p>
+
+<p>'The physician, after spending a whole afternoon
+examining the foot, eventually took the most serious
+view of the case imaginable, and hastily wrote out the
+following prescription, promising to call again in a
+few days:&mdash;</p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 301px;">
+<a href="images/i_168.jpg"><img src="images/i_168_tn.jpg" width="301" height="400" alt="" title="" /></a>
+<span class="caption">Basil Herbert develops a chilblain</span>
+</div>
+
+<p><!-- Page 123 --><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_123" id="Page_123">[Pg 123]</a></span></p>
+
+<ul>
+<li>1 Pint New Gruel.</li>
+<li>1 gr. Tincture of Green Acorns.</li>
+<li>1/2 gr. Hypo.</li>
+<li>1/16 gr. Castor Sugar.</li>
+<li>3 Clove Kernels.</li>
+<li>1/2 lb. Coffee Essence.</li>
+<li>3/4 lb. Sugar of Zinc.</li>
+<li>2 gr. Bisulphite of Lead.</li>
+<li>1 Pint Spirits of Sulphur.</li>
+<li>5 gr. Bicarbonate of Saltpetre.</li>
+<li>1 oz. Table Salt.</li>
+</ul>
+
+<p>'Three drops to be mixed in a quart of lukewarm
+water and gently rubbed into the roots of the blain
+every five minutes, day and night, until its disappearance,
+which, if all went well, should take place in
+about six months' time.</p>
+
+<p>'I was sent out at once, without a "please" or
+"will you kindly" of course, to the nearest chemist
+to have the prescription made up. But, alas! he was
+unable to do it, as he had only three of the necessary
+ingredients in stock,&mdash;the bicarbonate of saltpetre,
+the table salt, and the hypo. I now went in turn to
+every chemist in the town, only to find that not one
+of them could supply me with <i>all</i> the necessary ingredients.
+One perhaps had the tincture of green
+acorns and the hypo, while another had all but the
+coffee essence and the clove kernels. Some again
+only had the spirits of sulphur and the sugar of zinc,
+and so on. Now, in my despair, I resolved to buy<!-- Page 124 --><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_124" id="Page_124">[Pg 124]</a></span>
+each separate ingredient at a different store and mix
+the prescription myself, but, alas! I was no nearer
+obtaining it, as no one could supply me with the
+clove kernels. Determined to succeed, I visited in
+succession every town in Sicily, but not a single clove
+kernel could I find from one end of the island to the
+other.</p>
+
+<p>'As I stood on the sea-shore at the edge of the
+island wondering what next I should do to complete
+the prescription, my thoughts flew across the sea to
+my home in Arabia, and I decided to return there at
+once in the hope of learning from my parents where I
+should be most likely to find the kernels.</p>
+
+<p>'With the other ingredients securely sewn into the
+lining of my skirt, I embarked for Arabia, and in due
+course arrived at my father's palace.</p>
+
+<p>'When my good parents recognised me, which they
+did only after some minutes of close scrutiny, for it was
+at least twenty-five years since I had left home, they
+extended to me the kindliest welcome, and by their
+affectionate conduct dispelled any restraint I might
+have felt after so long an absence. In the meanwhile
+each of my sixteen sisters had married a Sultan or
+Prince at the very least, and they were now reigning
+in truly regal splendour in different parts of the
+world, and my parents, being alone in their old age,
+begged of me to come and live with them and gladden
+their declining years. This, however, I soon convinced
+them I could not do, and besought their help<!-- Page 125 --><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_125" id="Page_125">[Pg 125]</a></span>
+and advice in my quest. The Prince, my father,
+manifested the greatest desire to assist me, and took
+a fatherly interest in my fortunes. He caused the
+palace to be ransacked from top to bottom, but with
+no success,&mdash;there was not a single clove kernel to be
+found in the place.</p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 400px;">
+<a href="images/i_172.jpg"><img src="images/i_172_tn.jpg" width="400" height="151" alt="" title="" /></a>
+<span class="caption">THEY WERE COMPELLED TO SEND FOR A PHYSICIAN</span>
+</div>
+
+<p>'After an affectionate parting with my father and
+mother, I visited every one of my married sisters in
+turn, each of whom introduced me to her husband
+and friends with considerable pride, for you must
+know that already my fame as a char-woman of great
+ability had reached even to the most distant parts.
+One and all were equally felicitous in their expressions
+of delight at seeing me, and equally pressing
+in their invitations to me to take up my abode with
+them. Yet none were able to help me in the quest I
+had so much at heart.</p>
+
+<p>'At last I returned to Sicily without the clove
+kernels, and, too ashamed to appear before the Leanmuffins<!-- Page 126 --><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_126" id="Page_126">[Pg 126]</a></span>
+without the completed prescription, I wandered
+about the island in despair, resting at night in the
+caves of the mountains, satisfying the cravings of my
+hunger on the hard dry leaves of the cactus.</p>
+
+<p>'I now bethought me of my good friend the waiter
+and the willingness he had consistently evinced to help
+me when in trouble, and once more I embarked, this
+time for the shores of Lombardy, at which place I
+knew he had a comfortable situation. With very
+little difficulty I found the refreshment establishment
+at which he worked, and, as I anticipated, he was
+extremely pleased to meet me again, and manifested
+the liveliest joy at the prospect of being of some help
+to me. Together we studied the menu of the day
+very thoroughly, but could find no mention whatever
+of clove kernels, and then, idly looking through some
+menus of recent date, handsomely bound together
+for future reference, we discovered that clove kernels
+had been served as recently as the day before. It
+would be useless to attempt to describe the despair
+that took possession of me when I discovered that I
+had only missed them by one day. The waiter excitedly
+rushed down to the kitchen to see if any had
+been left over, but, alas! there was not a single clove
+kernel to be found in the larder or anywhere else.
+On leaving the refreshment rooms I shed the bitterest
+tears that had ever fallen from my usually joyful eyes,
+and on the rocks by the sea gave way to a mood of
+the greatest despondency.<!-- Page 127 --><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_127" id="Page_127">[Pg 127]</a></span></p>
+
+<p>'More ashamed than ever to return to the
+Leanmuffins, I made several inquiries for any one
+requiring the services of an amicable, virtuous,
+and, at the same time, experienced char-woman,
+determined to find work in Lombardy if any were
+to be had.</p>
+
+<p>'Not receiving satisfactory replies to my inquiries,
+my good waiter, true to his kind nature, introduced
+me to one of his most regular customers, the Marquis
+of Lombardy, who had been looking out for some
+years for a capable char-woman to superintend the
+management of his domestic affairs. Meeting with
+the approval of the Marquis, I thus secured a comfortable
+home, and resolved to forget that I had ever
+lived in Sicily.</p>
+
+<p>'Now it happened that the Marquis, being a
+regular diner at the restaurant, had partaken of
+clove kernels on the last occasion they were served,
+and three or four must have fallen from his spoon
+into his waistcoat pocket at the time, for I overheard
+his valet repeat to the housemaid that he had found
+them therein when brushing his master's clothes, and
+that he had presented them to one of the boatmen's
+children. Learning the name of the child, not a
+moment did I lose in hunting for him high and low,
+and eventually discovered him playing idly on the
+sands with what, I was convinced, were the kernels
+I so much coveted. At last, thought I, they are
+within my reach, and running joyfully up to the light-hearted<!-- Page 128 --><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_128" id="Page_128">[Pg 128]</a></span>
+lad discovered, alas! that he was only playing
+with brass buttons.</p>
+
+<p>'After the first shock of my new disappointment
+had passed away, I questioned the lad as to how he
+had disposed of the clove kernels, and he told me
+that his father, who considered them excellent bait,
+had taken them from him and given him three brass
+buttons in exchange.</p>
+
+<p>'On asking him where his father was at the present
+moment, he pointed with his sunburnt hand to the
+horizon, and looking in the direction indicated, I
+perceived a little fishing-smack, miles away. Without
+the loss of a single second, I hired a boat, and, with
+a boatman to assist, rowed in pursuit, and after a
+chase of three or four hours drew up, in an exhausted
+condition, alongside the smack. I now in piteous
+tones begged the clove kernels of the weather-beaten
+mariner, but he only laughed loudly and bitterly in
+reply, and, on my inquiring the reason of his cruel
+mirth, told me in faltering accents that he had only
+just hauled in his lines to discover that the fish had
+gone off with the bait and hook as well. Thus doomed
+to disappointment, I spent the rest of the day in a
+state of mind bordering on madness.<!-- Page 129 --><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_129" id="Page_129">[Pg 129]</a></span></p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 342px;">
+<a href="images/i_176.jpg"><img src="images/i_176_tn.jpg" width="342" height="400" alt="" title="" /></a>
+<span class="caption">THE IMPROVEMENT WAS MAINTAINED</span>
+</div>
+
+<p>'It was a little time after this that, one evening, I
+was sitting over the kitchen fire. The cook had just
+served up an excellent dish of fish, and my mind was
+still turning to Sicily in spite of my endeavours to
+forget that there was such a place, and wondering if
+ever I should see Basil Herbert again. Suddenly
+there was a most terrible disturbance overhead in
+the dining-room, a noise as of plates being thrown
+from one end of the room to the other, and presently
+wild shrieks and groans of pain. I ran lightly upstairs,
+always ready to be of use in emergencies of any kind,
+and opened the dining-room door just in time to see
+the Marquis raving most pitifully. It transpired that
+the very identical fish that had swallowed the hook<!-- Page 130 --><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_130" id="Page_130">[Pg 130]</a></span>
+and the clove kernels had been caught and served
+up to the Marquis's table, and he, poor man, had
+just swallowed the hook. Taking in the situation at
+a glance, I soon saw the probability that the three
+clove kernels, or one or two of them, were in the body
+of the fish, and walking boldly into the room I grasped
+the fish by the tail, and took to my heels.</p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 400px;">
+<a href="images/i_177.jpg"><img src="images/i_177_tn.jpg" width="400" height="179" alt="" title="" /></a>
+<span class="caption">DISCOVERED A CLOVE KERNEL</span>
+</div>
+
+<p>'For miles I ran, out of the town and into the
+country without stopping, until, quite exhausted and
+out of breath, I sat down beneath a rock to rest. I
+now examined the fish which I still held in my hand,
+and found only two of the kernels in its body, the
+Marquis having probably swallowed the third.</p>
+
+<p>'However, although not the complete number
+required by the prescription, they were better than
+no clove kernels at all, so after resting awhile I resolved
+to return once more to Sicily.</p>
+
+<p>'After some vicissitudes I arrived at last at the<!-- Page 131 --><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_131" id="Page_131">[Pg 131]</a></span>
+home of the Leanmuffins to find them all in despair.
+Basil Herbert's condition had not improved, and the
+physician had ceased his visits and gone in search of
+me. I soon mixed the stuff, which brought some
+little relief to the unhappy young patient&mdash;but not
+enough, as the lotion was not sufficiently strong
+without the third clove kernel.</p>
+
+<p>'We persevered, however, and the improvement
+was just maintained. At last one evening when all
+the members of the family were gathered round the
+sufferer's bed endeavouring to distract him by every
+manner of entertainment conceivable and by cheerful
+songs, glees, and the telling of interesting stories, there
+came a low knock at the door and somebody inquiring
+for me. Who should it be but my faithful friend the
+waiter, who, on sweeping the floor of the Lombardic
+refreshment room, had discovered a little clove kernel
+in the corner, and, mad with delight at being able to
+assist me, had hastened from Lombardy to bring me
+the treasure. Small though it was, it was enough to
+give the requisite strength to the lotion, and in due
+course the young patient completely recovered.</p>
+
+<p>'After their severe trials the Leanmuffins were
+completely transformed; from being ignoble, mean,
+and unkind, they became generous in the extreme.
+Their joy knew no bounds, and henceforth they made
+me quite one of their family, and my friend the waiter
+and his good people were asked to dine with us every
+Sunday that they were in Sicily.<!-- Page 132 --><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_132" id="Page_132">[Pg 132]</a></span></p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 202px;">
+<a href="images/i_179.jpg"><img src="images/i_179_tn.jpg" width="202" height="400" alt="" title="VIGNETTE" /></a>
+</div>
+<p><!-- Page 133 --><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_133" id="Page_133">[Pg 133]</a></span></p>
+
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 299px;">
+<a href="images/i_180.jpg"><img src="images/i_180_tn.jpg" width="299" height="400" alt="" title="TITLE-PAGE [The Interval]" /></a>
+</div>
+<p><!-- Page 134 --><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_134" id="Page_134">[Pg 134]</a></span></p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 400px;">
+<a href="images/i_181.jpg"><img src="images/i_181_tn.jpg" width="400" height="382" alt="" title="HEADPIECE" /></a>
+</div>
+
+
+<h2>'THE INTERVAL'</h2>
+
+<p>When the Sicilian Char-woman had finished
+the narration of her truly wonderful experiences,
+and while the army were yet
+applauding her, the King stepped down from his chair,
+and taking the good woman by the hand, explained to
+her the object of their great expedition. 'And now,'
+said the astute old monarch in conclusion, 'powerful<!-- Page 135 --><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_135" id="Page_135">[Pg 135]</a></span>
+as we undoubtedly are, and as you can see for yourself
+that we are, we have yet one weakness, and that weakness
+is, that we cannot boast of a single char-woman of
+any description within our ranks. It has occurred to
+us, in listening to your story, that if you are able, as I
+have no doubt you will be, to obtain a good character
+from your last place, that we shall be delighted to
+engage you as an assistant to the amiable Boadicea in
+her attendance upon my person.'</p>
+
+<p>'Fiddlesticks,' snapped the abrupt woman, 'look
+after your person indeed! Look after it yourself,' and
+the strange creature walked off. Unwilling to lose
+such a treasure, the King called after her, and explained
+that if he had offended her it was quite unintentionally,
+and offered her any post she would like
+to fill, of course providing that it had not already been
+filled, in his army.</p>
+
+<p>'Now you are talking reasonably,' replied the
+quickly mollified creature. 'Well, as you are so very
+kind, I don't mind being the flag-bearer.'</p>
+
+<p>'But I am really afraid we have no flag,' objected
+the King.</p>
+
+<p>'Oh, we'll soon settle that little difficulty,' replied
+the woman. And she at once removed her apron
+and snatching from the astonished Scout the staff he
+usually carried with him, she tied the apron thereto
+by its two strings and waved it proudly in the air
+three or four times, at each time jumping as high as
+she could.<!-- Page 136 --><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_136" id="Page_136">[Pg 136]</a></span></p>
+
+<p>Every one cheered in their delight at the readiness
+of the good woman, and congratulated each other
+cordially on this interesting addition to their forces.</p>
+
+<p>The King now stood up in his chair, and after
+quieting the general excitement by ringing his bell,
+he thus addressed his troops:&mdash;</p>
+
+<p>'My dear old boys and girls, although, no doubt, I
+appear to you a very fine man indeed, with a good
+appetite and fairly well covered for my time of life,
+I am not quite the man I should be. You must know
+that in my early babyhood I was a victim to the
+wicked carelessness of the royal cook. One morning
+this thoughtless creature left an unboiled parsnip on
+the garden path (had it been boiled and soft, my fate
+had been different perhaps) while chatting with a
+friend at the tradesmen's entrance. As ill luck would
+have it, I was at the time playing on the palace roof,
+to which I had climbed through the nursery chimney,
+and, childlike, was gazing curiously at a strange bird
+flying overhead, when I overbalanced and fell from
+the roof right on to the parsnip on the garden path,
+which, as you will guess, hurt me very severely indeed.'</p>
+
+<p>The King here exhibited to his audience a dent on
+his head in the form of a parsnip.</p>
+
+<p>'On hearing of this my father, of course, was highly
+indignant, and ordered the cook to be beheaded instantly,
+or, at all events, as soon as she had finished
+cooking the dinner.</p>
+
+<p>'The dinner, however, was so excellent that my<!-- Page 137 --><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_137" id="Page_137">[Pg 137]</a></span>
+father, in his enjoyment of it, forgot all about my
+mishap, and the cook went unpunished. Nevertheless
+the shock to my system was so great that, feeling it
+even to this day, as I have said, I am not the man I
+should be. A trifle irritable now and again; or more
+sulky and disagreeable than I care to admit; or at
+times even harsh, morose, surly, snappish, rattish, and
+short-tempered, all little failings you have no doubt
+noticed, and which now, knowing my early misfortune,
+you will more readily excuse.</p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 400px;">
+<a href="images/i_184.jpg"><img src="images/i_184_tn.jpg" width="400" height="171" alt="" title="" /></a>
+<span class="caption">I FELL ON TO THE PARSNIP</span>
+</div>
+
+<p>'Well,' continued the King, 'you will at least
+understand that a little rest is good for me now and
+again, so that, as we have already travelled half the
+distance to my kingdom, I intend to give you all a
+whole holiday to-morrow, and on the day following,
+which happens to be my birthday, I will celebrate the
+great occasion with a grand review, after which we
+shall once more resume our long journey.'<!-- Page 138 --><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_138" id="Page_138">[Pg 138]</a></span></p>
+
+<p>This welcome announcement was received with
+the greatest enthusiasm by the brave fellows, and
+loud cheers echoed again and again through the
+forest, and a great feast was at once prepared.</p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 400px;">
+<a href="images/i_185.jpg"><img src="images/i_185_tn.jpg" width="400" height="331" alt="" title="" /></a>
+<span class="caption">THEY ALL ONCE MORE STARTED</span>
+</div>
+
+<p><!-- Page 139 --><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_139" id="Page_139">[Pg 139]</a></span></p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 400px;">
+<a href="images/i_186.jpg"><img src="images/i_186_tn.jpg" width="400" height="332" alt="" title="" /></a>
+<span class="caption">ON THEIR ADVENTUROUS JOURNEY</span>
+</div>
+
+<p>Seated in a circle on the grass beneath the trees,
+the good souls enjoyed to the full the simple fare
+before them, and then, after once more cheering the
+old monarch, retired to their tents to sleep, and to
+dream of the morrow in store for them.</p>
+
+<p>Next morning, with the exception of the old King,
+who intended to rest and remain in bed all day, every
+one was up betimes. After a hearty meal, Bill explained
+to them all the dangers of the great forest,
+and the necessity of returning to camp at dusk.
+Then, taking care not to disturb the King, they
+all left the camp, different parties taking different
+directions, seeking amusement wherever they could
+find it.</p>
+
+<p>Bill took care of his charges, who had the greatest
+sport in the world,&mdash;tree-climbing, nutting, chasing<!-- Page 140 --><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_140" id="Page_140">[Pg 140]</a></span>
+butterflies, fishing in the pools, playing at Wild
+Indians, Hunt-the-Stag, Robbers and Thieves, Poor
+Jenny is a-weeping, Red Rover, and every really
+sensible game that there is to play, while Boadicea
+spent the time very happily in making beautiful
+bunches of wild flowers.</p>
+
+<p>Chad, however, was a bit of a nuisance, crying all
+the morning because he was not allowed to eat toadstools;
+so to keep him out of mischief, Bill tied him to
+the highest branch of a very tall tree, and there left
+him to have his cry out.</p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 283px;">
+<a href="images/i_190.jpg"><img src="images/i_190_tn.jpg" width="283" height="400" alt="" title="" /></a>
+<span class="caption">And left him to have his cry out</span>
+</div>
+
+<p>The Long Man took Ptolemy Jenkinson in hand,
+and taught him how to bird-nest, at the same time
+adding to his own valuable collection of eggs. The
+Ancient Mariner made a swing for the Absent-minded
+Indian, and wondered, while he was swinging him to
+and fro, whether he enjoyed it or not, for the thoughtful
+creature's face still gave no sign at all of what was
+taking place in his mind, supposing he had one. The
+Doctor spent the day upside down, with his feet
+supported against the trunk of a tree and his nose
+on the ground, while he studied the habits of the
+stag-beetle. The Boy Scout practised scouting by continually
+losing his patron and then finding him again,
+while the Respectable Gentleman himself kept his
+respectability in hand by behaving most politely to
+all the trees of the forest,&mdash;raising his hat to the
+silver-birches, leaving his card on the ash-trees, introducing
+a hornbeam to a blackthorn, apologising to
+the thistles for treading on their lower leaves, and, in
+fact, behaving like the perfect gentleman he was, and
+having a really enjoyable day.</p>
+
+<p>The Triplets played hide-and-seek, and the Sicilian<!-- Page 141 --><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_141" id="Page_141">[Pg 141]</a></span>
+Char-woman set to and dusted and scrubbed down a
+good number of the forest trees, and spent the rest of
+the day in endeavouring to clear up the last year's
+leaves that everywhere littered the grass.</p>
+
+<p>It was quite late in the evening when all returned
+to camp, quite tired out, and after supper each crept
+quietly to bed without awakening the King, and soon
+the whole camp was fast asleep.</p>
+
+<p><!-- Page 142 --><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_142" id="Page_142">[Pg 142]</a></span></p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 400px;">
+<a href="images/i_193.jpg"><img src="images/i_193_tn.jpg" width="400" height="292" alt="" title="" /></a>
+<span class="caption">THE WHOLE CAMP WAS FAST ASLEEP</span>
+</div>
+
+<p>In the morning every one awoke in the best of
+spirits, and brimful of the many things they had to
+tell of the happy time they had spent the day before.
+The old monarch seemed much refreshed for his long
+rest, and before sitting down to breakfast every one
+in turn went up to him and shook the happy old boy
+by the hand, wishing him many happy returns, after
+which they all sat down and enjoyed a substantial
+breakfast. Before the repast was quite finished, and
+while the King was looking the other way, Bill walked
+round the ring formed by the army as they sat upon
+the grass, and collected birthday presents for the old
+monarch. Every one was delighted to give something
+to His Majesty to show how much they appreciated
+his greatness, and when the old chap received the
+many gifts, all done up in one brown paper parcel, he
+was so overcome that he could hardly stammer forth
+his thanks. And this is what he found in the parcel
+when, with trembling hands, he had succeeded in
+opening it:&mdash;</p>
+
+<div class="center">
+<table summary="Contents of His Majesty's parcel.">
+<tr><td colspan="2" align="left">From Bill,</td>                       <td align="left">A bone-handled, two-bladed
+                                   pocket-knife, a little rusted,
+                                   but with only one blade
+                                   missing.</td></tr>
+<tr><td colspan="2" align="left">From Noah,</td>                       <td align="left">Some string.</td></tr>
+<tr><td colspan="2" align="left">From Ratchett,</td>                   <td align="left">8 brace buttons (very bright).</td></tr>
+<tr><td rowspan="2" align="left">From the Twins&nbsp;<span style="font-size:250%">{</span></td>
+<td align="left">Quentin,</td>         <td align="left">Wooden top of peg-top.</td></tr>
+<tr>               <td align="left">Hannibal,</td>        <td align="left">Iron peg of same.</td></tr>
+<tr><td colspan="2" align="left">From Randall,</td>                    <td align="left">Ferrule of umbrella.</td></tr>
+<tr><td colspan="2" align="left">From Nero, </td>                      <td align="left">More string.
+<!-- Page 143 --><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_143" id="Page_143">[Pg 143]</a></span></td></tr>
+<tr><td colspan="2" align="left">From Biddulph,</td>                   <td align="left">Dial of old watch (not cracked
+                                   very much).</td></tr>
+<tr><td colspan="2" align="left">From Knut,</td>                       <td align="left">Glass marble (beautifully
+                                   coloured).</td></tr>
+<tr><td colspan="2" align="left">From Chad,</td>                       <td align="left">2 pear drops (old, but in good
+                                   condition).</td></tr>
+<tr><td colspan="2" align="left">From the other children
+  collectively,</td>                  <td align="left">Twenty last year's horse
+                                   chestnuts on string (very
+                                   hard).</td></tr>
+<tr><td colspan="2" align="left">From the Ancient Mariner,</td>        <td align="left">Piece of wood skilfully cut
+                                   into the form of a pebble.</td></tr>
+<tr><td colspan="2" align="left">From the Absent-Minded
+  Indian,</td>                        <td align="left">Nothing.</td></tr>
+<tr><td colspan="2" align="left">From the Triplets,</td>               <td align="left">3 bunches of violets.</td></tr>
+<tr><td colspan="2" align="left">From the Respectable Gentleman,</td>  <td align="left">His visiting-card.</td></tr>
+<tr><td colspan="2" align="left">From the Boy Scout,</td>              <td align="left">One of the Killgruel town-keys
+                                   he had swallowed.</td></tr>
+<tr><td colspan="2" align="left">From the Sicilian Char-woman,</td>    <td align="left">Small piece of soap.</td></tr>
+<tr><td colspan="2" align="left">From the Long Man,</td>               <td align="left">Wren's egg.</td></tr>
+<tr><td colspan="2" align="left">From Boadicea,</td>                   <td align="left">A hat full of ripe blackberries.</td></tr>
+<tr><td colspan="2" align="left">From the Doctor,</td>                 <td align="left">Half of cough lozenge.</td></tr>
+<tr><td colspan="2" align="left">From Ptolemy Jenkinson,</td>          <td align="left">A last year's ticket for a box.</td></tr>
+</table>
+</div>
+
+<p>Every one clamoured for a speech, but the old
+fellow was so affected by all this unexpected kindness,
+that he would not trust himself to open his mouth, so
+with tears of gratitude pouring from his eyes, he
+retired to his chair. These interesting proceedings
+thus coming to an end, he was wheeled into the forest
+by Boadicea until they came to the open space where
+the review was to take place.<!-- Page 144 --><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_144" id="Page_144">[Pg 144]</a></span></p>
+
+<p>Having dried his eyes and smartened himself up,
+with Boadicea standing sedately at his side holding
+the presents, the King now solemnly awaited the
+appearance of the troops. Soon there was a great
+noise in the direction of the camp, and then they
+could be heard approaching.</p>
+
+<p>First came the nine brave sons of Crispin and
+Chloe, proudly marching three by three, and as they
+passed the King each gallantly saluted him. Now
+followed the stately Char-woman with the flag held
+aloft, and when she came opposite His Majesty she
+jumped magnificently three times into the air. She was
+followed by more of Bill's charges, and then, with
+great dignity, Bill, the King's general, marched past
+the Royal Old Boy and saluted him grandly.</p>
+
+<p>Another detachment of Bill's charges followed the
+general, then the Ancient Mariner approached, and,
+after placing the Absent-minded Indian on the ground,
+he, with much dignity, saluted the King by touching
+his forelock, sailor fashion, and after a few steps of
+the hornpipe, once more resumed his burden and
+moved on. The Ancient Mariner was followed by the
+Long Man who winked knowingly at the King as he
+passed by. Ptolemy Jenkinson came next, then the
+Doctor, who, not knowing quite what was expected
+of him, proceeded to feel the King's pulse, but was
+quickly hustled off by the Scout, who now approached.</p>
+
+<p>The Respectable Gentleman followed the Boy
+Scout, and raised his hat in a very gentlemanly<!-- Page 145 --><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_145" id="Page_145">[Pg 145]</a></span>
+manner to the King as he passed him and politely
+handed him one of his cards, upon which he had
+scribbled a few good wishes to the old monarch.</p>
+
+<p>Now, one by one, the Triplets passed in front of
+the delighted King, before whom each of the sweet
+creatures performed the most graceful curtsy, and
+the procession then terminated with another detachment
+of Bill's charges.</p>
+
+<p>The King was more than satisfied, and they all
+once more started on their adventurous journey.</p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 172px;">
+<a href="images/i_196.jpg"><img src="images/i_196_tn.jpg" width="172" height="300" alt="" title="TAILPIECE" /></a>
+</div>
+<p><!-- Page 146 --><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_146" id="Page_146">[Pg 146]</a></span></p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 226px;">
+<a href="images/i_197.jpg"><img src="images/i_197_tn.jpg" width="226" height="400" alt="" title="VIGNETTE" /></a>
+</div>
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<p><!-- Page 147 --><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_147" id="Page_147">[Pg 147]</a></span></p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 299px;">
+<a href="images/i_198.jpg"><img src="images/i_198_tn.jpg" width="299" height="400" alt="" title="TITLE_PAGE [The Real Soldier]" /></a>
+</div>
+<p><!-- Page 148 --><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_148" id="Page_148">[Pg 148]</a></span></p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 400px;">
+<a href="images/i_199.jpg"><img src="images/i_199_tn.jpg" width="400" height="357" alt="" title="HEADPIECE" /></a>
+</div>
+
+
+<h2><a name="THE_REAL_SOLDIER" id="THE_REAL_SOLDIER"></a>THE REAL SOLDIER</h2>
+
+
+<p>After travelling some days, they came across
+a real soldier seated at the side of the road,
+and Bill at once persuaded the King to
+invite so valuable a man to join their expedition. The
+King therefore left his chariot and approached him,
+and asked the noble-looking fellow if he would care to
+make one of their party, and, if so, whether he had
+a good character from his last general, and the old
+warrior replied:<!-- Page 149 --><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_149" id="Page_149">[Pg 149]</a></span>&mdash;</p>
+
+<p>'Allow me, my good sirs, to recite to you one of
+my most noteworthy achievements, one of which,
+peradventure, you may not have read in the numerous
+books filled with accounts of my exploits. I shall
+thus remove any trace of doubt that may linger in
+your minds as to my great courage and astute
+generalship.'</p>
+
+<p>All expressing their eagerness to hear the story,
+the wordful old warrior proceeded:&mdash;</p>
+
+<p>'As near as I can remember, it was in the early
+fifties when, a mere drummer-boy, with the bloom of
+early boyhood still gracing my brave young cheek,
+I marched with the gallant 53rd or, as you may
+possibly know them, the King's Own Royal Roebucks,
+to the relief of the Isle of Wight. This island, at the
+time I mention, was blockaded by that notorious
+filibuster, Reginald Bendbrisket, a rogue who, possessed
+of the greatest audacity and cunning, had
+earned for himself an unenviable reputation, from
+Margate to Samoa, by the terrible extent of his
+depredations.</p>
+
+<p>'You will all doubtless remember how, disappointed
+in his endeavours to usurp the throne of Pitcairn
+Island, he had impudently resolved to make a sudden
+raid upon the Isle of Wight; and thus to feed his
+own insatiable greed and, at the same time, appease
+the disappointed rage of his desperate followers, he
+would have plunged the peaceful little island into
+abject misery. What tempted him thereto none<!-- Page 150 --><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_150" id="Page_150">[Pg 150]</a></span>
+can guess with any certainty, unless indeed it were
+the many false reports, spread abroad by the unscrupulous,
+of the gold, silver, and diamonds to be
+found there; of the extensive quarries, rich in the
+finest hearthstone; and of the natural paraffin springs,
+that could provide the world with the purest oil; and
+many other reports, alike false and discreditable to
+their inventor and to those who repeated them to the
+credulous stranger.</p>
+
+<p>'Had the rogue been successful in his latest raid,
+his small band of followers (mayhap increased to a
+powerful army by the hordes of discontented periwinkle-gatherers,
+prawners, and lobster-potterers that earn
+a scanty living on our shores) would, without doubt,
+have had at their mercy the Isle of Sheppey and the
+numerous other Islets that ornament our coasts. And
+then, from these a sudden and successful descent on
+Ludgate Hill would have rendered him master of the
+whole of London. Now I am going to tell you how
+the courage and forethought of a simple drummer-boy
+frustrated all his schemes, and brought to his
+knees one of the most unscrupulous enemies that
+has ever invaded our shores.</p>
+
+<p>'To come back to the beginning of my story, we
+had a comfortable journey down, the tedium of which
+had been greatly relieved by delightful conversation
+and intellectual chatting, each in his turn considerably
+astounding the others by the amount of
+intelligence he displayed. These pursuits were again<!-- Page 151 --><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_151" id="Page_151">[Pg 151]</a></span>
+varied by interesting recitations, and such parlour-games
+as could be conveniently played in a railway
+carriage. We arrived in the afternoon at a snug little
+hamlet on the coast opposite the island, whence we
+embarked in a fleet of disused barges and dredgers.
+We reached our destination, after a fairly calm
+voyage, without having excited the curiosity of the
+invaders, only one of whose vessels we passed, and
+all on board it were so engrossed with the captain,
+who was violently sea-sick, that we passed unobserved.</p>
+
+<p>'We were 2,352 strong, including the gallant 53rd,
+of which I was a member, a battery of artillery, a
+camel corps, two squadrons of the smartest cavalry
+that ever chased a rabbit across the Hackney Marshes,
+and a battalion of infantry, so well trained that there
+was not one of the rank and file who could not play
+quite delightfully on the piano; while the officers were
+unexcelled at conjuring tricks, with which they used
+to amuse the soldiers seated round the camp-fires of
+an evening. We were ably generalled by that best
+of all officers, Sir Francis Melville Glowmutton,
+whose fame in after years very nearly earned for
+him the honour of being mentioned in a popular
+Encyclop�dia.</p>
+
+<p>'We were met on the beach by a procession of the
+inhabitants, headed by the president of the island, all
+of whom were delighted to see us, and extended to us
+the most hospitable of welcomes. Without waiting<!-- Page 152 --><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_152" id="Page_152">[Pg 152]</a></span>
+for formal introductions, they fraternised in the most
+friendly spirit with the troops who, in turn, were
+charmed with their reception and, being quite beyond
+themselves with gratification, adorned their conversation
+with the most graceful compliments to the inhabitants
+and grateful tributes to their kindness.</p>
+
+<p>'The blockade had lasted barely eight weeks, so that,
+as yet, the inhabitants of the island were not aware of
+it, and when they learnt from the soldiers the real
+state of affairs, they rejoiced beyond measure, and
+redoubled their congratulations to the army and to
+each other, and the president seized the very first
+opportunity publicly to thank the general for his
+thoughtfulness in coming to relieve them.</p>
+
+<p>'For quite a long time the handshaking went on,
+and every one was so amiably excited that the president,
+anxious that so much good feeling should not be
+thrown away, invited every one to spend the evening
+with him at his presidency on the Needles.</p>
+
+<p>'And such a bright and happy evening it was too!
+Every one in the best of spirits, and entering blithely
+into all the games! "Oranges and Lemons," "Nuts
+and May," and "Poor Jenny is a-weeping," had
+never, within the memory of any one present, been
+played with greater zest, and, what was more
+wonderful, never had the rather trying game of
+"Hunt the Slipper" provoked less ill-temper since
+it was first introduced into this country at the Norman
+Conquest.<!-- Page 153 --><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_153" id="Page_153">[Pg 153]</a></span></p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 265px;">
+<a href="images/i_204.jpg"><img src="images/i_204_tn.jpg" width="265" height="400" alt="" title="" /></a>
+<span class="caption">THE REAL SOLDIER</span>
+</div><p><!-- Page 154 --><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_154" id="Page_154">[Pg 154]</a></span></p>
+
+<p>'The joy of the frolicsome ones was only equalled
+by that of the older inhabitants and the elderly officers,
+who, seated on chairs placed for them round the
+wails of the hall, fairly shook with laughter and merriment,
+until the tears rolled down their handsome
+old cheeks.</p>
+
+<p>'At last, with flushed and happy faces, all sat down
+to a splendid cold supper provided by the President,
+but it was some little time before the feast could
+proceed, as every one was so well-behaved that there
+was quite a turmoil of passing things to one another.
+At last, however, every one was served, and the supper
+proceeded with the greatest mirth on all sides.</p>
+
+<p>'After a while the president stood up to make a
+speech, and had only got as far as, "Ladies and
+Gentlemen, it is not that we&mdash;&mdash;" when, to everybody's
+consternation, there was a loud knock at the
+door and, without waiting to be asked, in stalked the
+notorious Reginald himself.</p>
+
+<p>'Having approached the table, he slowly withdrew
+his gaze from the refreshments (to which it had
+wandered on his entry), and, drawing himself to his
+greatest height, demanded of the president the instant
+surrender of the island to him as his rightful property,
+averring that it had been left to him by an aunt, whose
+favourite he had been. Then, putting his hand to his
+bosom, he drew thence an old roll of parchment which,
+indeed, proved to be the Will of one Martha Grub.
+This he handed to the president, who read aloud<!-- Page 155 --><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_155" id="Page_155">[Pg 155]</a></span>
+therefrom the following clause, which had been underlined:&mdash;</p>
+
+<blockquote><p>'And I do bequeath unto my good sister's son, the
+shapely Reginald Bendbrisket, inasmuch as he has
+shown some kindness unto my black cat, now dead
+alas! twenty jars of the good plum preserve I did
+make last fall as well as five yards of the good garden
+hose wherewith I did heretowhile water my cabbages
+in the droughty seasons, the rest to be cut up and
+divided equally amongst my other nephews and nieces
+to be used by them as they may see fit whatsoever.</p>
+
+<p>'At their demise the said pieces shall be delivered
+up to the said Reginald, who will once more unite the
+fragments and pass the completed hose on to his
+heirs for ever.</p>
+
+<p>'For his goodness in undertaking thus to carry out
+my wishes I do also bequeath unto the before-mentioned
+Reginald the Island of Wight situate at
+the south coast of England.</p></blockquote>
+
+<p>'On reading this the president turned very pale
+and every one trembled, never having dreamt of the
+strength of the invader's position. But being a bit
+of a lawyer, the president very soon rallied and replied
+to the filibuster, in as courtly a manner as he could
+assume, that he was bound to admit that his aunt
+Martha had, without doubt, left the island to him, and
+that he would be the last man to dispute the fact&mdash;here
+the rogue, vainly imagining that he was about to realise
+his greatest hopes, could not conceal his satisfaction,<!-- Page 156 --><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_156" id="Page_156">[Pg 156]</a></span>
+and helped himself to a sandwich&mdash;"But hold!" cried
+the president in a terrible voice, "I do dispute that it
+was hers to leave."</p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 400px;">
+<a href="images/i_207.jpg"><img src="images/i_207_tn.jpg" width="400" height="283" alt="" title="" /></a>
+<span class="caption">&#39;BUT HOLD!&#39; CRIED THE PRESIDENT</span>
+</div>
+
+<hr />
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 301px;">
+<a href="images/i_210.jpg"><img src="images/i_210_tn.jpg" width="301" height="400" alt="" title="" /></a>
+<span class="caption">Reginald completely lost his temper</span>
+</div>
+
+
+
+<p>'At this the irascible Reginald completely lost his
+temper and hurled the sandwich with such fury to the
+ground that it broke one of the gorgeous tiles that
+ornamented the floor. "Have you," said he, "the
+audacity to doubt the word of my aunt Martha? Have
+you the face to stand there and dispute the will of
+that excellent woman, written when dying of a broken
+heart at the death of her black cat, and whose only
+solace was the company of her dutiful nephew? Then<!-- Page 157 --><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_157" id="Page_157">[Pg 157]</a></span>
+your fate be upon your own head." And he strode
+out of the hall gnashing and grinding his teeth in the
+most terrible manner, only stopping to pick up the
+sandwich which he had thrown down in his outburst
+of passion.</p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 400px;">
+<a href="images/i_212.jpg"><img src="images/i_212_tn.jpg" width="400" height="285" alt="" title="" /></a>
+<span class="caption">&#39;YOUR FATE BE UPON YOUR OWN HEAD&#39;</span>
+</div>
+
+<p>'When the door had slammed to with terrific force
+behind him there was a great silence in the hall, and
+we all looked at one another with scared faces. Soon
+every one arose from the table, and silently left the
+banqueting-hall to prepare for the fight which we now
+knew would come on the morrow.</p>
+
+<p>'Try as I would, I could not sleep for thinking of<!-- Page 158 --><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_158" id="Page_158">[Pg 158]</a></span>
+the battle in store for us. I counted more sheep than
+would have fed our army for six months, but with no
+result. I then tried elephants, and after that camels
+and zebras, and finally, hoping that their odd shapes
+might bring me repose, I tried ant bears, but all in vain.
+At last, in despair, I rose from my hard couch, donned
+my uniform, and snatching up a cracknel, strode out
+of my tent.</p>
+
+<p>'Murmuring "Brittle Pantechnicons" (which, by
+the way, was our password) to the sentry, I strolled
+idly down to the sea. It was a beautiful and perfectly
+still night, with not a ripple to disturb the surface of
+the sea, upon which, here and there, would glow a
+little shimmer of light as the phosphorescent turbot
+rose to its prey. In the distance, and away to the
+right, could be seen the camp-fires of the enemy, and
+the reflections in the pools left by the tide. Ever and
+anon sounds of merriment could be heard as the
+invaders, heedless of the morrow, spent the night in
+revelry. To the left, and further back, could be seen
+the tents of our forces, not a sound arising therefrom
+except the low monotonous breathing of the soldiers
+(who were so well drilled that even in their sleep they
+breathed in time), or maybe the "Who goes there?"
+of the sentry would sound in the darkness, as he
+mistook a moth for a spy, or the drone of the beach
+bee for the war-whoop of the enemy.</p>
+
+<p>'At the water's edge, dark against the starry sky,
+I found a solitary bathing-machine, beneath which<!-- Page 159 --><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_159" id="Page_159">[Pg 159]</a></span>
+I crept, and here at length my weariness quite overcame
+me and I slept. How long I remained thus I
+cannot tell, but I was awakened by heavy footsteps
+on the floor of the machine over my head. My
+curiosity was intense, but resisting the temptation to
+rush out and satisfy it, I wisely resolved to remain in
+my present position as long as possible.</p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 400px;">
+<a href="images/i_214.jpg"><img src="images/i_214_tn.jpg" width="400" height="83" alt="" title="" /></a>
+<span class="caption">FLOUNDERING ABOUT IN THE SEA</span>
+</div>
+
+<p>'Presently the mysterious tenant of the machine
+opened its seaward door and stood revealed in the
+light of the moon, which had arisen during my sleep,
+as the terrible Reginald Bendbrisket himself, clothed
+in a deep black bathing-suit. I crouched down, not
+daring to move a muscle, and was presently relieved
+to see him, after standing for some time on the steps
+of the machine, amble carefully over the stones to
+the edge of the sea, into which he plunged.</p>
+
+<p>'Now it was that an idea suddenly occurred to me,
+and I instantly crept from my place of concealment,
+and stealing up to the landward door of the machine
+nailed it fast with the hammer and nails I always
+carried with me to mend my drum, which was not
+infrequently broken beneath my enthusiastic blows.<!-- Page 160 --><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_160" id="Page_160">[Pg 160]</a></span>
+Having secured the front door, I now crept in at the
+back and, doffing my own clothes, soon donned those
+of the unconscious filibuster, who was still floundering
+about in the sea. Having effected this change, I crept
+back to my former position under the machine, and
+had barely made myself comfortable there when I saw
+the rogue returning.</p>
+
+<p>'After scrambling painfully over the stony beach
+he mounted the steps and entered the machine, and
+the slam of the door as it closed upon him was the
+signal for me to rush out and secure this as I had
+already secured the front door. Having done this,
+I waited no longer, but made off with all possible
+speed in the direction of the enemy's camp, which I
+had nearly reached, when I heard a most terrible
+banging from the interior of the now distant bathing-machine.
+Losing no time, I entered the camp, and,
+being easily mistaken for their captain, passed on
+unchallenged.</p>
+
+<p>'Arriving in time at the centre of the camp, I
+found all the men gathered together, having forsaken
+their revels, evidently in expectation of the return of
+their leader.</p>
+
+<p><!-- Page 161 --><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_161" id="Page_161">[Pg 161]</a></span></p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 400px;">
+<a href="images/i_216.jpg"><img src="images/i_216_tn.jpg" width="400" height="309" alt="" title="" /></a>
+<span class="caption">IN EXPECTATION OF THEIR LEADER</span>
+</div>
+
+<p>'Standing before the villainous crew, I assumed, as
+nearly as I could, the mien and rough harsh voice of
+their filibustering captain, and ordered them to embark
+at once and to leave the island, as it had been reinforced
+during the night by such a mass of thundering
+artillery as would be impossible to withstand, and
+that they were even now fast approaching along the
+beach from the other end of the island where they
+had landed. The men, on hearing this appeared
+quite incredulous and their growls of disbelief grew
+louder and louder and threatened a terrible mutiny.
+Having at length gained a hearing, I invited them all
+to that part of the camp by which I had entered, to
+hear for themselves the approach of the distant hosts.
+Leading them all, still grumbling and growling, a little
+way beyond the camp, I commanded them all to be
+absolutely quiet, and then, in the silence which
+ensued, could be heard far away in the direction of<!-- Page 162 --><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_162" id="Page_162">[Pg 162]</a></span>
+the bathing-machine a most terrific and continuous
+banging, together with the sound of muffled shouting.</p>
+
+<p>'The men were aghast, and in the moonlight their
+swarthy faces could be seen to change to a ghastly
+white. Then, with an unearthly yell, they all turned
+and fled in a wild panic to the boats. They tumbled
+over and over each other in their anxiety to get away,
+and many got wet to the skin in their endeavour to
+reach the boats. At last, to my great joy, I saw the
+last of them pull off and reach the ships, which now
+put on all sail and vanished away for ever.</p>
+
+<p>'I now returned to the bathing-machine, from
+which still came a terrible din, though not quite so
+violent as it had been at first.</p>
+
+<p>'Taking hold of the rope that was fastened to it, I
+began to drag the machine in the direction of our
+camp, the banging meanwhile gradually subsiding,
+until at last only an occasional bang proclaimed the
+machine to be inhabited. As before, I passed the
+sentry by murmuring "Brittle Pantechnicons" and
+drew the machine up in front of the General's
+tent.</p>
+
+<p>'The General, having finished an early breakfast,
+was just setting out to take a stroll before settling
+down to plan out the battle, and seeing me, whom he
+at first took to be Reginald Bendbrisket, the good
+man received quite a severe shock. However, I soon
+undeceived him, and after relating my adventures I
+unfastened the door of the bathing-machine, and<!-- Page 163 --><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_163" id="Page_163">[Pg 163]</a></span>
+disclosed therein the form of the filibuster on bended
+knees, imploring our mercy.</p>
+
+<p>'Every one was delighted at such a speedy end
+to the campaign, for my part in which I was duly
+honoured. Reginald Bendbrisket, after a mild punishment,
+reformed and became a very respectable gentleman,
+the president kindly using his influence to
+secure for him a lucrative position in a well-known
+Insurance Office.</p>
+
+<p>'And thus, my good Sirs, it is, that the Isle of
+Wight still remains one of our many valued possessions.'</p>
+
+<p>'The very man for me,' thought the King of Troy,
+when he had finished his story, and before proceeding
+with their journey, he promoted the martial creature
+to the high position of second General-in-chief of the
+army.</p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 400px;">
+<a href="images/i_218.jpg"><img src="images/i_218_tn.jpg" width="400" height="87" alt="" title="TAILPIECE" /></a>
+</div>
+<p><!-- Page 164 --><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_164" id="Page_164">[Pg 164]</a></span></p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 400px;">
+<a href="images/i_219.jpg"><img src="images/i_219_tn.jpg" width="400" height="400" alt="" title="VIGNETTE" /></a>
+</div>
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<p><!-- Page 165 --><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_165" id="Page_165">[Pg 165]</a></span></p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 301px;">
+<a href="images/i_220.jpg"><img src="images/i_220_tn.jpg" width="301" height="400" alt="" title="TITLE-PAGE [The Wild Man]" /></a>
+</div>
+<p><!-- Page 166 --><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_166" id="Page_166">[Pg 166]</a></span></p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 400px;">
+<a href="images/i_221.jpg"><img src="images/i_221_tn.jpg" width="400" height="294" alt="" title="HEADPIECE" /></a>
+</div>
+
+
+
+
+<h2><a name="THE_WILD_MAN" id="THE_WILD_MAN"></a>THE WILD MAN</h2>
+
+
+<p>One day the army were overtaken by a singularly
+wild-looking man who proved, however,
+to be at the same time quite an amiable
+creature, and expressed a great desire to seek some
+employment with the gallant fellows. The King was
+pleased to enlist the nice and sociable person, and
+was more than repaid for his confidence in him by
+his charming ways. On one occasion, when the King
+was rather tired and worried, the Wild Man, in
+order to distract the dear old fellow, told the following
+story:<!-- Page 167 --><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_167" id="Page_167">[Pg 167]</a></span>&mdash;</p>
+
+<p>'Good Sirs, though wild enough indeed, yet may I
+claim to be an unspoilt child of nature, whose finest
+instincts have, unchecked, found their true development.
+Thus, communing with nature from my cradle
+and living on terms of the closest intimacy with her
+wildest creatures, I can appreciate their humble wants,
+their hopes and fears, and have acquired the truly
+marvellous power of conversing with these simple-minded
+denizens of the wilderness.</p>
+
+<p>'My home was a rocky cave hard by the sea-shore,
+in which I lived in simple happiness with my good
+wife, now dead, alas! this many a long year ago, and
+our five brown children, who long since have grown
+to men and gone out into the world to seek their
+fortunes. Harmless indeed were our joys, and our
+trials we bore with that great fortitude which was not
+the least of the blessings we derived from our simple
+mode of life.</p>
+
+<p>'To proceed with my tale, on one dismal evening
+late in autumn, I left my cave, with the hungry cries
+of my children still in my ears,&mdash;for, indeed, the poor
+things had had no sup or bite the whole day through.
+Wondering what I could do that they might not go
+supperless to bed, I strolled along the sands by the
+sea in the hope of finding some odd limpet or whelk
+which, together with a few dried dandelion leaves,
+might make a simple stew. Alas! no vestige of a
+single crustacean could I find, so I sat me down upon
+the sands, determined not to return until the children<!-- Page 168 --><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_168" id="Page_168">[Pg 168]</a></span>
+had fallen asleep on the dry ferns and grass heaped
+up for them at the back of the cave, as their cries
+were more torment to me than my own emptiness.</p>
+
+<p>'The sun had long ago set, and the autumnal
+twilight, reflected in the pools of still water left by
+the far receded tide, was gradually fading from the
+sky, when I fancied I could hear a low heart-rending
+moan from off the desolate waste of sand before me.
+Again and again it sounded, and at last realising that
+it might be uttered by some creature in distress, I
+stood up and, as far as the fading light would permit,
+scanned the sands in every direction.</p>
+
+<p>'Nothing, however, could I see, and as the moan
+still continued at intervals and became, in fact, more
+and more painful and beseeching, I wandered about,
+a prey to the liveliest anxiety, endeavouring to discover
+whence it proceeded.</p>
+
+<p>'At length I perceived on the sand, at a little
+distance before me, a small dark motionless object,
+and at that instant a harrowing sound, arising therefrom
+on the evening air, left me in no doubt as to the
+origin of the moans I had already heard. Creeping
+as quietly as possible on my hands and knees quite
+close to it, I found it to be a lovely blue point oyster,
+and bringing my head to a level with the shell, I asked
+coaxingly, and in as soft a voice as I could command,
+what ailed it.</p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 301px;">
+<a href="images/i_226.jpg"><img src="images/i_226_tn.jpg" width="301" height="400" alt="" title="" /></a>
+<span class="caption">Harmless indeed were our joys</span>
+</div>
+
+<p>'"Alas!" said the oyster, "a little while ago I
+possessed a child as sweet as ever chortled to its<!-- Page 169 --><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_169" id="Page_169">[Pg 169]</a></span>
+gasping mother, but snatched from me as it has been
+by the cruellest of whelks, it may even now lie helpless
+in the grasp of the ravenous brute, as it ruthlessly
+sups off its delicate limbs. No such grief have I had
+since that old native, my worthy husband, was slain,
+and was laid in state, his hoary head supported by
+a slice of lemon, beside a piece of brown bread-and-butter."</p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 400px;">
+<a href="images/i_228.jpg"><img src="images/i_228_tn.jpg" width="400" height="294" alt="" title="" /></a>
+<span class="caption">I PLEADED MY CASE</span>
+</div>
+
+<p>'Deeply affected by her grief, I begged her to
+reveal the name of the little one and to indicate the
+direction taken by the marauding whelk. "Bertram
+is its name," said the widowed blue point, and I could<!-- Page 170 --><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_170" id="Page_170">[Pg 170]</a></span>
+hear the tears falling within the shell as, with her
+beard, she pointed out the path followed by the
+rogue.</p>
+
+<p>'I had not proceeded far in the direction indicated
+when I overtook a whelk, whose face was quite distorted
+by a savage look, and whose growls drowned
+the feeble cries of a tender blue pointlet whom he
+dragged along by the beard.</p>
+
+<p>'"Now what is all this about?" said I to the
+sullen fellow. "Why should you, who are maybe
+blessed with young of your own, rob a poor widowed
+oyster of her only consolation since the death of her
+husband? A heart of rock would have melted at the
+cries of your victim, but you, ungenerous, can have
+no heart at all, and entirely drag the name of whelk
+through the mud." I could distinctly hear the ruffian
+lashing his tail within his shell as he replied: "It's
+all very well for you, old boy, but all that kind of
+nonsense you're talking don't come in here. If it
+were a question of saving your own life I'll bet you
+wouldn't give much ear to the whimperings of a
+sentimental blue point. Know then, old stick, that
+it isn't for the love of children that I am dragging
+this little brat along, but he's just going to be the
+supper of an old crab, who caught me this afternoon
+and only let me go on the condition that I found
+him something a little more toothsome and tender
+than I am."</p>
+
+<p>'The cries of the infant were cruel to hear when it<!-- Page 171 --><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_171" id="Page_171">[Pg 171]</a></span>
+learnt the fate in store for it, and filled my heart with
+pity for the frail youngster. "Now come," said I to
+the whelk, "just wait a little while and consider,
+would it not always be a sad thing for you to reflect
+upon that you had been the cause of this frail young
+thing's death?" "Gammon!" answered the leather-hearted
+whelk, and proceeded on its journey. "Stay
+yet awhile," cried I, "and I will run and talk it over
+with the crab and see if his hard shell may hide a
+kinder heart than yours." "Well, look alive, old
+sentiments," replied the whelk; "it's a bit chilly
+waiting about out of the water when the tide's low.
+You'll see the old rascal over there by the sea."</p>
+
+<p>'I hastened with what speed I might in the direction
+pointed out by the whelk, and presently came
+upon the old crab. Before I had time to greet him
+he accosted me with "Well, old kneebones, what's the
+trouble?" "No trouble of mine I do assure you," I
+replied as I seated myself by his side, taking care at
+the same time to keep well out of reach of his two
+pincer claws, that wobbled about wickedly in my
+direction; thus in some trepidation I continued the
+conversation. "The trouble is that of an innocent
+blue pointlet, now alas! in the toils of a perfect bully
+of a whelk, a worthless rough who is thus victimising
+the innocent to save himself from ending his paltry
+existence in your inside. Now my good fellow, I am
+perfectly certain that you are not going to allow this,
+indeed you are not the sort to sacrifice another's life<!-- Page 172 --><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_172" id="Page_172">[Pg 172]</a></span>
+to satisfy your own greed. Let me press you, just for
+once, to go supperless to bed, and thus assuage the
+anguish of a most affectionate mother."</p>
+
+<p>'Much to my mortification and surprise, my conciliatory
+speech was met by roars of laughter from
+the flippant old crab. Peal upon peal disturbed the
+still evening air, and when the last clash of the hideous
+uproar had died away among the distant hills, the unfeeling
+brute, now in a state of collapse from loss of
+breath, gasped out:&mdash;"What, me give up the only
+chance of saving myself from that scoundrel of a
+lobster who only let me go on my promising to secure
+him something for supper a little less hard than myself!
+Well," continued the crab, "that's a good 'un,
+that is. My good chap you must be quite out of your
+senses. Why, not only will I hand over the baby
+oyster to the lobster, but I intend also to have my
+supper off that tough old idiot of a whelk, who
+reckons he's going to get off scot-free, and old
+mother blue point, too, if I can find her," and then,
+as an afterthought, "and you, old marrow-bones,
+wouldn't make half a bad tit-bit if I could get hold
+of you," and he made a horrid dash at me as he
+spoke. However, I easily evaded him, and from a
+safer distance argued the matter out with him in
+the following way:&mdash;</p>
+
+<p>'"Allow me, my dear crustacean, to put the matter
+to you in this light. Now, first of all, clear your mind
+of all unnecessary bias. Suppose," said I, "that you<!-- Page 173 --><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_173" id="Page_173">[Pg 173]</a></span>
+were to change places with the young oyster, suppose,
+we'll say, that you had the near prospect of being
+devoured by the greedy lobster. How would you feel,
+I say, if your neighbour not only refused to exert himself
+in any way to extricate you from your predicament,
+but also gloried in being the main cause of the disaster
+that threatened you?"</p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 400px;">
+<a href="images/i_232.jpg"><img src="images/i_232_tn.jpg" width="400" height="135" alt="" title="" /></a>
+<span class="caption">AND KILLED IT ON THE SPOT</span>
+</div>
+
+<p>'The wily scoundrel merely replied, "Ask me
+another," and with his left eye-stalk bent towards
+the ground, insolently winked at me with the other.
+Despairing of penetrating his tough shell with kindly
+suggestions, I temporised with him, and succeeded in
+persuading him to desist from his evil intentions
+until I had talked it over with the lobster. Out of
+sheer perversity the crab directed me wrongly, but
+in good time, after some wandering here and there,
+I discovered the lobster.</p>
+
+<p>'I pleaded my case to him as eloquently as I had
+already done to the others,&mdash;nay, even more eloquently,
+being, no doubt, a little more used to it by<!-- Page 174 --><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_174" id="Page_174">[Pg 174]</a></span>
+now, but yet with no apparent good result. The
+wary creature pretended ignorance. "To which crab
+do you refer?" said he, in a questioning tone; "I have
+so much business with crustaceans in one way and
+another that you would be surprised to learn how
+confused I become in my dealings with them." To
+the best of my ability I described the appearance
+of the old crab, and aided my description with a
+slight sketch on the sand made with the point of my
+umbrella. He gazed at this with much interest and
+murmured to himself "considerable artistic talent,"
+and then aloud, "Oh yes, yes, I remember him
+quite well; indeed, he was here only recently about
+a little matter of supper. Well, well, I'm afraid I
+cannot be of any help to you here. You see, it's
+like this. Earlier in the day, I came to a little
+arrangement (quite a little business affair, by the
+way) with an old lady conger eel I have known for
+many years, and it happened in this way. We were
+having a little dispute as to who should sup off the
+other, and without going into details, the upshot of
+it all was that the eel managed to tie herself in a
+knot round my throat, and so, you see, was mistress
+of the situation. I need not tell you that I did not
+lose my presence of mind&mdash;indeed, I never do&mdash;and
+I politely asked her if she had ever tasted crab, and
+effectually persuaded her that they were much better
+eating than lobster, and undertook to procure her a
+beauty (thinking all the time, of course, of our mutual<!-- Page 175 --><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_175" id="Page_175">[Pg 175]</a></span>
+friend), on the understanding that I should go quite
+free. It's very sad and all that sort of thing, no
+doubt, about the little oyster&mdash;sweet little chuck&mdash;indeed,
+I am more sorry than I appear to be about
+it, but really what can one do?" And the lobster
+shrugged his bristling shoulders. "Speaking to you,"
+he continued, "as one man of the world to another,
+business is business after all, you know. And if we
+don't fulfil our obligations, where do we stand? Of
+course, I don't say but what a little chat with the
+conger might make it all right, and there's no harm
+in trying&mdash;she's a nice eel. I feel sure you would
+like her, at least I felt I should, when I invited her
+to be my supper&mdash;and if nothing comes of the meeting,
+well, we shall none of us be any worse off than we
+are at the present moment. If at any other time I can
+be of use to you, I do hope that you will not hesitate
+to come round and ask. Good day."</p>
+
+<p>'I now left him to search for the conger, whom I
+found dozing in a pool near the sea. I took her out
+and placed her gently on the sand, and she gradually
+opened her eyes and fastened them on me. I once
+more expounded the reasons why, in my opinion, this
+cruel arrangement should not be persisted in. I quite
+astonished myself by my own eloquence, which grew
+more impassioned as I proceeded, and noticed that
+the old conger seemed deeply impressed. As I came
+to the most affecting parts of my argument the
+expression in her eyes grew really tender, and at the<!-- Page 176 --><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_176" id="Page_176">[Pg 176]</a></span>
+mention of the little blue point a tear gathered in
+each eye and slowly coursed down her shiny form.
+At the conclusion of my appeal the conger drew in
+a deep breath and replied:&mdash;"Well, I never! Now
+that is what I really do call good and kind. Oh pray
+come and sit down beside me on the sand and tell me
+all about it&mdash;now do, and tell me what first put it
+into your head&mdash;it is so very nice to come across a
+little real sentiment in these matter-of-fact times."
+Without waiting for me to proceed she rattled on:&mdash;"Upon
+my word, you really must have the kindest
+heart in the world&mdash;but are you quite sure you are
+comfy? Why not come round the other side; you'll
+be out of the wind there, and we can talk it over
+without anything to interfere with us. I quite agree
+with you in everything you have said, and I must
+say that I know of nothing more delightful than
+to find one's own thoughts expressed so much more
+clearly than one could do it oneself. Do you know,
+I am quite delighted to have met you, and hope that
+this is the commencement of one of those lasting
+friendships...."<!-- Page 177 --><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_177" id="Page_177">[Pg 177]</a></span></p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 400px;">
+<a href="images/i_236.jpg"><img src="images/i_236_tn.jpg" width="400" height="288" alt="" title="" /></a>
+<span class="caption">WE COOKED ONE GREAT STEAK</span>
+</div>
+
+<p>'Thus she gabbled on, and thinking to myself, here,
+at last, is a kind-hearted soul, I asked her to promise
+to take the baby oyster back to its sorrowing mother,
+when she received it from the lobster. "What an
+extremely kind thought," she replied; "I assure you
+there is nothing in the whole world I would love to
+do so much as to take the little thing back to its Ma."
+Glancing dreamily at the sky the old eel continued:&mdash;"Dear
+little mite! I can see it even now, in my mind's
+eye, as it skips to its mother; she, dear soul, the
+while shedding pearls of delight,&mdash;a memory to carry
+to your grave. But I expect you must be going now&mdash;no
+doubt you are as busy as the rest of us&mdash;are they
+all well at home?&mdash;good-bye," and she prepared to
+return to the sea. "But, my dear woman," I protested,
+"I have not yet received your promise to see the
+little oyster home." "Now," said the eel, "pray don't
+spoil the pleasant evening we have had&mdash;but never
+mind&mdash;don't look so serious&mdash;come round some evening<!-- Page 178 --><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_178" id="Page_178">[Pg 178]</a></span>
+with the wife and children&mdash;don't say you won't."
+"But, Madam," I answered, "I am waiting for your
+promise to see the little one home." "My dear Sir,"
+she replied at last, growing rather red in the face, "I
+can give you nothing of the kind, and must really refer
+you to the whale who captured me a little while ago,
+and only released me because I promised to procure
+him a lobster, which I persuaded him would be much
+more digestible and less bilious than I should prove
+to be as a meal."</p>
+
+<p>'I now went in search of the whale, whom I discovered
+disporting himself in the sea a very little way
+from the shore. Taking my shoes and stockings off,
+I waded as near to him as I dared, and to conciliate
+him right off I wore as benignant an expression as I
+could assume and thus addressed him: "Of one
+thing I am convinced," said I, "and it is that you are
+the last person in all the world who would willingly
+give pain to anything,&mdash;least of all to a baby oyster."
+"Quite so, quite so," snorted the whale, "and what is
+more I never have and, upon my soul, I never <i>will</i>."
+"Bravo, good resolution," cried I, and then in moving
+terms I explained the situation and urged him to take
+the blue pointlet back to its mother on receiving it
+from the conger eel. "What is this you say," roared
+the whale; "do you mean to tell me that in exchange
+for her own fat self that villainous conger-eel now
+offers me a baby oyster instead of the promised lobster?
+Is it for this gross insult that I allowed her to resume<!-- Page 179 --><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_179" id="Page_179">[Pg 179]</a></span>
+her wretched existence? Well, I'm thundered!" and
+the enraged monster leapt seventy feet into the air.
+"Where is she?" roared he, and made off in the
+direction of the conger.</p>
+
+<p>'But the old girl was one too many for the whale
+this time, and having heard his remarks on her
+conduct, off she darted after the lobster, saying to
+herself that as the whole arrangement had fallen
+through, she might just as well sup off the lobster,&mdash;besides,
+the claws would stew up quite well for the
+children's dinner to-morrow. The lobster in his turn,
+seeing the conger approach, at once understood that
+the affair was all off and left his little cave by the
+back door as conger entered by the front, and made
+for the place where he knew he would find the crab,
+arguing to himself thus:&mdash;"At any rate, the crab will
+make an excellent supper to which I have every right;
+for after all, as I have before remarked, business is
+business, and he will certainly be unable to fulfil his
+obligations." The saucy crab, however, saw him coming
+along with his mouth wide open ready to gobble him
+up, and shouted tauntingly to him:&mdash;"Keep your
+bristles on, old prawn" and ran off after the whelk.
+"Nothing really matters," thought he, "and as I feel
+a bit peckish I may as well eat up friend whelk and
+the blue pointlet 'll come in for a light breakfast in
+the morning." The cowardly whelk, reading the crab's
+evil intention in his eyes offered him the baby oyster.
+"Thanks, old flint," said the crab, "I'll have you first<!-- Page 180 --><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_180" id="Page_180">[Pg 180]</a></span>
+and the youngster another time," and he pounced on
+the whelk and ate him right up. But as he was
+crawling off in great comfort the old lobster overtook
+him and in no time polished him off. The lobster,
+now too contented to move quickly, was slowly returning
+to the water when up came the conger-eel
+who, without any delay, proceeded to strangle him
+and then to gobble him up. After her feast, the old
+girl, in her turn, felt drowsy. "I think," said she,
+"I now deserve a nap," and she lay down in a pool
+and went fast asleep. Presently the whale came
+along, having been hunting for the conger all over the
+place. As soon as he caught sight of her he roared
+in his wrath, "Is this what you call keeping your
+bargain?" and with one gulp he bolted her,&mdash;head,
+fins, tail and all.</p>
+
+<p>'Then, having accomplished his revenge, and at
+the same time satisfied his appetite, his contentment
+was complete and he rolled over on his side in the
+shallow water, and fell into a deep sleep.</p>
+
+<p>'Now, thought I, is this not providential? Is there
+not here not merely the evening meal I left my cave
+to seek, but many meals for my good wife and children,&mdash;enough
+in fact to ward off hunger throughout the
+winter that is now fast approaching. Taking up a
+great rock I hurled it with all my force at the head of
+the whale and killed it on the spot. I now proceeded
+to cut up the great creature and carry it, piece by
+piece, to my cave, and that very night, when it was all<!-- Page 181 --><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_181" id="Page_181">[Pg 181]</a></span>
+safely stowed, we cooked one great steak for supper,
+waking the children in order that they might share the
+meal, and the remainder my good wife preserved in
+brine. Thus in comfort we lived the winter through.</p>
+
+<p>'The little oyster found its way back to its mother,
+and so grateful were they both for my endeavours to
+help them, that they took up their abode with us.
+Bertram grew to a fine chubby blue point. "Just like
+his father," said the proud mother, and nothing reached
+our hearts so nearly as his playful, charming ways.'</p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 400px;">
+<a href="images/i_240.jpg"><img src="images/i_240_tn.jpg" width="400" height="116" alt="" title="TAILPIECE" /></a>
+</div>
+<p><!-- Page 182 --><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_182" id="Page_182">[Pg 182]</a></span></p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 166px;">
+<a href="images/i_241.jpg"><img src="images/i_241_tn.jpg" width="166" height="400" alt="" title="VIGNETTE" /></a>
+</div>
+<p><!-- Page 183 --><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_183" id="Page_183">[Pg 183]</a></span></p>
+
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 301px;">
+<a href="images/i_242.jpg"><img src="images/i_242_tn.jpg" width="301" height="400" alt="" title="TITLE-PAGE [The Musician]" /></a>
+</div>
+
+<p><!-- Page 184 --><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_184" id="Page_184">[Pg 184]</a></span></p>
+
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 400px;">
+<a href="images/i_243.jpg"><img src="images/i_243_tn.jpg" width="400" height="221" alt="" title="HEADPIECE" /></a>
+</div>
+
+
+<h2><a name="THE_MUSICIAN" id="THE_MUSICIAN"></a>THE MUSICIAN</h2>
+
+
+<p>Sometimes now the old King showed signs of
+weariness, and Bill bethought him that a
+little music occasionally might soothe his
+nerves. So in the very next town they came to he
+engaged the only musician in the place, and very
+willing he was too to come along.</p>
+
+<p>He played very wonderful music on his old concertina,
+often assisted with his voice, and one evening,
+after a very beautiful performance, the talented
+creature related the following story to his enchanted
+hearers:&mdash;</p>
+
+<p>'Right glad have I been, good fellows all, to join you
+in this your noble enterprise to right our stout old
+brother of Troy here, and in good time I trust that<!-- Page 185 --><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_185" id="Page_185">[Pg 185]</a></span>
+my great deeds shall prove my sincerity. But, in the
+meantime, as supper hour draws on apace, and the
+frizzling cutlets do scent the evening air, a little story
+should not be amiss to distract your anxious minds,
+and thus to check the impatience of your appetite.</p>
+
+<p>'Know then, my jovial birds, my cunning blades,
+that I am the eldest son of that Prince of Polynesia
+who united the scattered kingdoms of this unwieldy
+archipelago into one vast empire, over which he ruled
+with even-handed justice and some common-sense
+until his death. Ah! lads, if all had their rights I
+should at the present moment be seated on the soft
+cushions of my father's throne, and maybe more able
+to be of help to you than I am now; but you must
+take the will for the deed.</p>
+
+<p>'My word! what a plump and healthy child was I,
+and withal as jolly and as hearty as the day was long.
+Moreover, was not I the pride of the empire and the
+envy of all the other kings and princes who had ever
+seen or heard of me? Alas! who could have foretold
+that I was thus early in life destined to have a real
+good taste of the troubles of this weary world, and,
+though surrounded by every care and attention and
+the object of the greatest affection that ever bubbled
+in the human heart, shortly to become the victim of
+the meanest spite.</p>
+
+<p>'But to proceed with the yarn&mdash;neither care nor
+expense was spared in my upbringing, to which
+possibly more thought was devoted than even to<!-- Page 186 --><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_186" id="Page_186">[Pg 186]</a></span>
+the education of our very well-educated and trustworthy
+friend, the buxom Sicilian char-woman. At
+all events, the most certificated nurses procurable
+were continually being engaged, but apparently only
+to be dismissed again, for, almost perfect as most of
+them were, I can assure you that, in the course of a
+very little time they were certain, of course, to reveal
+(as was only natural) some slight weakness, and I ask
+you, good comrades all, which of us is without 'em?
+This overcarefulness on the part of my good parents
+was to be the cause of the disaster that was soon
+entirely to change the trend of my life.</p>
+
+<p>'It came about in this way. One of the discharged
+nurses, indignant at what, with some show of reason,
+she considered an injustice to herself (she had been
+dismissed for curling my hair only a little to the right
+instead of quite to the right), resolved to revenge herself
+on her late master and mistress, in such a manner
+as should be most likely to leave them wretched for
+the remainder of their lives. Knowing the overextravagance
+of their affection for me, she cruelly
+determined to strike them in this, their weakest spot.
+One dark night, after cleverly evading the ever-wakeful
+guards, she crept into my father's palace. Stealing up
+the main staircase without attracting observation, she
+arrived at the now empty throne-room, which she
+stealthily traversed, keeping all the while close to the
+wall. She then passed through the little door at the
+left of the grand throne and found herself in the<!-- Page 187 --><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_187" id="Page_187">[Pg 187]</a></span>
+billiard-room. She had not, however, taken two
+steps therein when a fearful panic seized her, for
+what should she behold but the stout form of my
+rare old dad the emperor leaning over the table,
+apparently in the act of making a brilliant stroke.
+A few seconds' consideration, however, served to
+convince the vengeful creature that he was fast
+asleep. Gnashing her teeth at the old gentleman,
+she hurried across the room and entered the library,
+in which my good mother was seated, reading. But
+so absorbed was the good lady in her book that she
+took no notice whatever of the agile intruder, as she
+entered by one door and swiftly left by the other.
+She now successively passed through the state ball-room,
+the music-room, the third best drawing-room,
+the second best ball-room, and the state bed-room,
+and mounting the back stairs, came to the suite of
+rooms occupied by the nurses, and eventually reached
+the nurses' dining-hall, into which my nursery led,
+without having excited any one's observation.</p>
+
+<p>'Opening my door very quietly, she peeped in.
+All was dark inside except for the glimmer of a night-light
+which shone on the frilling of my cradle and on
+the form of the nurse then in office, who had fallen
+asleep over her supper of stewed apples. Creeping
+in quietly, the evil-minded woman lifted my sleeping
+form from the cradle, so gently that she did not
+awaken me, and, holding me closely to her, once
+more successfully passed through all the apartments<!-- Page 188 --><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_188" id="Page_188">[Pg 188]</a></span>
+she had already traversed, without arousing any
+suspicion, and at length found herself again in the
+open air.</p>
+
+<p>'Without losing a moment, she now made off to
+the woods, and after wandering in these for some
+time, she met an old witch with whom, no doubt,
+she had an appointment. Seated on the grass, the
+two women haggled and haggled, and at last the
+treacherous nurse sold me to the witch for three
+cocoanuts, and then went on her way and out of
+my life for ever.</p>
+
+<p>'Now it happened that the old witch lived in the
+hollow trunk of a tree with her foster son, a tiny
+gnome named Orpheus, as quaint a little object as
+ever I set eyes on, who played incessantly and most
+beautifully on an old concertina, the very one, in fact,
+which I now carry with me. The little fellow had been
+found some years before by the old witch wandering
+near the ruins of an old temple in the very middle of
+the wood. To whom he belonged, and whence he had
+come, no one knew,&mdash;not even he himself, perhaps.
+However, the old girl adopted him, and now nothing
+could exceed the motherly affection with which she
+regarded this dry and shrivelled-up little chap,&mdash;unless,
+indeed, it was the ardour with which the
+grateful gnome returned it. In fact, I learned some
+time afterwards that the old witch had purchased me
+solely that I might be a companion for this rum little
+person.<!-- Page 189 --><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_189" id="Page_189">[Pg 189]</a></span></p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 400px;">
+<a href="images/i_248.jpg"><img src="images/i_248_tn.jpg" width="400" height="292" alt="" title="" /></a>
+<span class="caption">SHE NOW MADE OFF TO THE WOODS</span>
+</div>
+
+<p>'The old girl, weird as was her general appearance,
+did all she could to make me comfortable,&mdash;in fact far
+more than an ordinary witch would have dreamt of
+doing,&mdash;and in recognition of her well-intentioned
+attitude towards myself, I encouraged the spark of
+friendliness I began to feel for her. But for her darling
+son, as soon as I grew accustomed to his quaint
+appearance, and realised his kindness of heart and
+friendly disposition towards myself, I conceived a great
+affection. He would climb to the topmost branches
+of our tree, to practise his exercises every morning, in
+order that I should not be worried with melancholy<!-- Page 190 --><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_190" id="Page_190">[Pg 190]</a></span>
+repetitions, and, when perfected in some melody, who
+shall describe the unaffected joy with which he would
+come down and play it for my delight? How often in
+the moonlight (I lying on the grass at his side) would
+he play over and over again to me some melancholy
+air, while our foster-mother, mayhap, would be sweeping
+the dead leaves from our abode, and preparing it
+for our night's repose.</p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 400px;">
+<a href="images/i_249.jpg"><img src="images/i_249_tn.jpg" width="400" height="180" alt="" title="" /></a>
+<span class="caption">HE WOULD CLIMB TO THE TOPMOST BRANCHES</span>
+</div>
+
+<p>'Not I alone was gratified and enchanted by his
+dulcet tones, for all the creatures of the woodland
+drew near and listened as night gradually covered the
+sky, and he played through his evening pieces.</p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 287px;">
+<a href="images/i_252.jpg"><img src="images/i_252_tn.jpg" width="287" height="400" alt="" title="" /></a>
+<span class="caption">And played it for my delight</span>
+</div>
+
+<p>'Elephants hovered around in the shadows of the
+trees, and sighed great slobbering sighs. Bullfinches,
+sparrows, eagles, flamingoes, wild geese, peacocks,
+turkeys, cranes, pelicans, and every manner of bird,
+thronged the branches of the trees, and, with their
+heads and beaks sunk almost into their feathers,<!-- Page 191 --><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_191" id="Page_191">[Pg 191]</a></span>
+opened and closed their eyes in their rapturous surprise.
+The lions and tigers sprawled about, wishing,
+in pure shame at their habitual monstrous cruelties,
+that they had been vegetarians from the very beginning:
+such power had the music of Orpheus. Even
+the mad-headed monkeys and apes, sitting in rows
+amongst the trees, thought, Good heavens! what fools
+they were! and, blushing at their childish tricks,
+wondered if it yet were possible to reform and take
+a serious view of life. The old snake, quite overcome
+and enthralled by the delicious strains, opened wide
+his jaws, and allowed the little missel-thrush to nestle
+therein, and, thus protected from the night-air, to
+listen to the music in comfort. However, no lasting
+reformation was ever effected in their untamed natures,
+for no sooner had the music ceased than each scurried
+away, once again to resume his depredations and
+savage ways.</p>
+
+<p>'It happened one evening that the gnome surpassed
+himself by his rendering of some enchanting
+melodies, and every one was quite enthralled and
+rendered almost helpless. The birds sank their heads
+and beaks lower and lower into their feathers, as the
+music proceeded, until they were no longer visible.
+The lions and tigers rolled on their backs in the grass,
+in an agony of despair at their own unreformable lives:
+the elephants turned quite white, and trembled so
+violently that they could hardly support their own
+huge bulks and leant against one another to prevent<!-- Page 192 --><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_192" id="Page_192">[Pg 192]</a></span>
+themselves coming down with a crash; such a great
+lump had risen in the throat of the giraffe as quite distorted
+his otherwise graceful neck; while the monkeys
+gibbered and blubbered tearfully to themselves, and
+the old rascal of a snake slipped right off into a trance.</p>
+
+<p>'At last the music ceased, and the little musician
+left me while he went in to hang up his musical instrument
+in safety. Meanwhile, in spite of the state to
+which they had been elevated, the absurd creatures
+had all scurried off, as usual, with no other thought in
+their savage minds than to get each his own supper at
+any cost. The old snake, however, did not recover as
+quickly as the others, and when at length he awakened
+from his trance, he could see that all the others had
+vanished, and that I was lying on the grass, quite
+unprotected, the gnome not having, as yet, returned
+to my side. "Ha, ha!" said he to himself, his savage
+nature having returned in all its force, "what a slice of
+luck! By gum! I never see such a beauty. Won't the
+youngsters be just delighted!" He rapidly slithered
+in my direction and, quickly tying the end of his long
+form securely round me, slithered away again, carrying
+me through the long grass at a bewildering speed.</p>
+
+<p>'After travelling in this rough fashion for some
+time, we at length came to a clearing in the heart of
+the wood, in which stood all that remained of the
+ancient temple, and amongst its fallen columns and
+walls, overgrown as they were with wild flowers and
+tall grasses, the old snake had made his home, where<!-- Page 193 --><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_193" id="Page_193">[Pg 193]</a></span>
+he lived in comfort with his wife and a large brood of
+pranksome snakelets.</p>
+
+<p>'We were greeted by the youngsters with every
+mark of joy and surprise. "How good of you, Henry,"
+cried the mother, "and what a really fine specimen!
+Shall we have him to-night, or keep him for next
+Tuesday, my birthday you know, dear?" After a little
+talk it was decided that I should be held over until
+the next Tuesday, and in the meantime I was placed
+in the larder, and given plenty of odd scraps to eat,
+no doubt to keep me plump and in good condition.</p>
+
+<p>'Tuesday came round in due course and, in order
+to celebrate the day in a manner suitable to the greatness
+of the occasion, the old snake invited all his
+neighbours. When I was brought out of the larder,
+on a large dish, roars of delight rose to the sky from
+the throats of the assembled guests, all seated round
+on the fallen stones of the ruined temple.</p>
+
+<p>'The old lion was there, smacking his lips in
+anticipation of a nice cut, and the tiger's mouth was
+visibly watering at the prospect of such a feast: while,
+as for the little snakelets, they kept up quite a clamour
+in their impatience to get at me. The monkeys, of
+course, contributed their share to the general uproar,
+though they seemed more inclined to fasten their eyes
+on the filberts and almonds with which I was garnished.
+The eagles took the whole thing very seriously
+and, flapping their great wings, screeched to the sky
+in their eagerness to begin; and all the other guests,<!-- Page 194 --><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_194" id="Page_194">[Pg 194]</a></span>
+the giraffes, the zebras, the hippos, the storks, the
+flamingoes, the wild cats, the pelicans, the wild geese,
+the peacocks, the turkeys, and every thinkable animal
+contributing to the general noise, there was such an
+awful din that the snake could only obtain silence by
+using the thin end of his long body as a flail on the
+drum-like sides of the elephant. He then made a
+few remarks on the importance of the occasion, and
+referred to his wife in quite a graceful way, for a
+snake; and, continuing, asked one of the guests to
+volunteer to carve. The stork, having a very convenient
+beak for the purpose, stood up and offered
+his services, which were gratefully accepted.</p>
+
+<p>'I was now placed on the grass directly in front of
+the carver, who was about to skewer me with his long
+and sharp beak, when there came to our ears from far
+away amongst the trees that surrounded us on every
+side, the sweet harmonies of that lovely song "The
+Pond where Herbert Drownded," played with the
+greatest sympathy on the concertina. At once the
+stork turned its head in the direction whence the sound
+proceeded, and as it gradually drew nearer and nearer
+I became more and more convinced that such music
+could only be produced by my friend and foster-brother.</p>
+
+<p>'All the creatures in varying degrees were affected;
+the snake and his wife coiled themselves on the grass
+and gasped in rapture; the stork and all the birds
+closed their eyes, and their heads sank lower and lower<!-- Page 195 --><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_195" id="Page_195">[Pg 195]</a></span>
+into their fluffy bodies, until like balls of feathers they
+rolled over and lay trembling in the grass.</p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 400px;">
+<a href="images/i_258.jpg"><img src="images/i_258_tn.jpg" width="400" height="301" alt="" title="" /></a>
+<span class="caption">SWEEPING THE DEAD LEAVES</span>
+</div>
+
+<p>'The lion and tiger were so overcome that they
+leant their old heads on their paws and sobbed aloud,
+while the monkeys grew fidgety and quite self-conscious
+at first, and then abandoned themselves to the
+melancholy aroused by the music.</p>
+
+<p>'The gnome, whom I afterwards learnt had been
+wandering about the wood playing mournful airs on
+his concertina ever since he had missed me, now
+drew near, and finishing "The Pond where Herbert
+Drownded" proceeded with "Poor Molly Dawson" and<!-- Page 196 --><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_196" id="Page_196">[Pg 196]</a></span>
+other tunes of an equally affecting nature. On seeing
+that all were sufficiently bowled over, he struck up
+with "Oh, Jack, he was a Bright Spark," and so lively
+and brisk was the measure that up they all jumped
+and danced and danced with the greatest spirit.</p>
+
+<p>'The strangest figure of all was cut by the old
+snake who pirouetted on the end of his tail at the
+greatest speed, in which weird performance he was
+soon joined by his wife. The eagle extended his
+wings and waltzed with the elephant; the lion and
+tiger spun round, holding each other by the paw, so
+quickly that it was almost impossible to see them;
+the old turtle rolled over on the back of its shell and
+span like a teetotum, with the silly monkeys linking
+hands and in one wide ring skipping around it; in
+fact, all got up and jumped and lumped and sprawled
+about in the most ridiculous fashion until they were
+quite out of breath. Nevertheless, Orpheus would
+not let them rest, but marched off playing the most
+exciting music, and all the infatuated creatures, quite
+forgetful of their banquet, followed him through the
+wood. Strange enough, in all conscience, was this,
+but how much stranger by far was it when the very
+stones of the ruin leapt up, and rolling over and over,
+also followed in this odd procession as it tramped and
+crashed through the trees.</p>
+
+<p>'From where I was seated on the dish I could
+hear the sounds of the music gradually fading away,
+as the musician led the noisy crew further and further<!-- Page 197 --><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_197" id="Page_197">[Pg 197]</a></span>
+off; the crash of the falling branches and the crackle
+of the breaking underwood died down in the distance
+and I knew that I was saved.</p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 400px;">
+<a href="images/i_260.jpg"><img src="images/i_260_tn.jpg" width="400" height="308" alt="" title="" /></a>
+<span class="caption">WITH NO OTHER WEALTH THAN MY CONCERTINA</span>
+</div>
+
+<p>'The little gnome led the bewitched creatures such
+a dance through the wood that one by one they fell
+down in a state of collapse, and when the last was
+quite overcome, the faithful fellow returned to the
+temple and carried me home.</p>
+
+<p>'Never again did they leave me alone for a single
+second until I was able to take care of myself, and I
+spent the years of my boyhood in great happiness with
+these two simple and kindly souls. Brother Orpheus
+took no end of pains in teaching me to play the<!-- Page 198 --><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_198" id="Page_198">[Pg 198]</a></span>
+concertina and, eager to learn, I soon became proficient.
+But, dear lads, clever as you know me to be,
+never could I even approach the skill of my good and
+patient master.</p>
+
+<p>'In the course of time the old witch had to die, and
+the grief of her little foster son was so great at his loss
+that, try as I would, I could not in any way lighten it.
+One day soon after I missed the little man, and he
+never returned again. All that he left behind him
+for me to remember him by was his old concertina.</p>
+
+<p>'I waited by the tree for many a long day, still
+thinking that he would return, until I was compelled
+at last to abandon all hope of ever seeing him again.
+I wandered out into the world with no other wealth
+than my concertina, but how often since have I had
+to bless the memory of my little friend who thus
+endowed me with the means of subsistence, and, at
+the same time, with a protection against all manner
+of evil.'</p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 400px;">
+<a href="images/i_261.jpg"><img src="images/i_261_tn.jpg" width="400" height="188" alt="" title="TAILPIECE" /></a>
+</div>
+<p><!-- Page 199 --><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_199" id="Page_199">[Pg 199]</a></span></p>
+
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 300px;">
+<a href="images/i_262.jpg"><img src="images/i_262_tn.jpg" width="300" height="400" alt="" title="TITLE-PAGE [The Lost Grocer]" /></a>
+</div>
+
+<p><!-- Page 200 --><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_200" id="Page_200">[Pg 200]</a></span></p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 400px;">
+<a href="images/i_263.jpg"><img src="images/i_263_tn.jpg" width="400" height="236" alt="" title="HEADPIECE" /></a>
+</div>
+
+
+<h2><a name="THE_LOST_GROCER" id="THE_LOST_GROCER"></a>THE LOST GROCER</h2>
+
+
+<p>For many and many a weary mile the persevering
+little band had now trudged on without meeting
+with any adventure worth relating, and
+every one was longing for the end of their travels, when
+one lovely evening they came across a good-natured-looking
+policeman, fast asleep on a stile by the
+roadside. The tramp, tramp of the army awakened
+him, and with a gentle smile he got off his perch and
+walked alongside the King. Charmed with his easy
+manner, the King jokingly asked him of what he had
+been dreaming that he smiled so pleasantly. 'Oh, of
+old times and old friends,' the policeman replied, and
+then as he walked along he thus related the strangest
+of experiences:&mdash;</p>
+
+<p>'Many years ago it was my happy lot to be the<!-- Page 201 --><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_201" id="Page_201">[Pg 201]</a></span>
+principal policeman of the pleasant little town of
+Troutpeg, situated, as you know, on the banks of the
+river Peg, just where it flows into the estuary of the
+Drip, that here broadens into that well-known land-locked
+harbour of the same name, and thus finally finds
+its way to the sea. Nestling amongst its stone-capped
+hills, the happy place seemed designed by a kind nature
+as a retreat for all who were blithe and amiable, and
+such indeed it proved to be, for no more kindly and
+genial souls than the Troutpegsters could be found.
+Their simplicity was delightful, though perhaps such as
+to incline them all the more readily to believe in the
+wild legends of the country-side. Many were the
+strange stories told by the shepherds, who tended their
+flocks on the hills at night, of wild rites, and uncouth
+dances performed by ghostly beings, in the light of the
+moon, amidst the ancient circles of Druid stones.
+Little else, however, was there to disturb the peaceful
+thoughts of the Troutpegsters.</p>
+
+<p>'The prosperity of the township was so great, and
+the comfort of each of its inhabitants so well assured
+that for many years no wickedness of any kind had
+shown its head, and the life of a policeman in this
+happy and secluded town was one long summer
+holiday. To be sure, a little skirmish here and there
+amongst the lads might make it wise gently to exert
+my authority, or a little quarrel amongst the girls call
+forth a slight rebuke, but otherwise my life was one
+of unbroken peace.<!-- Page 202 --><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_202" id="Page_202">[Pg 202]</a></span></p>
+
+<p>'My dearest friend was the tea-grocer, a man of
+sad and dreamy ways and quite devoid of guile, who
+returned my affection with all the ardour of a singularly
+loving nature. He shared his every joy with me, and
+when his holidays came round no greater recreation
+could he find than in my society. Walking by my
+side as I strolled along my beat, he would confide to
+me his simple hopes and fears, and in his troubles
+seek my readily extended sympathy. Such simplicity
+and inoffensive mien had he as brought to him a rich
+harvest of respect and love, together with the custom
+of his fellow-townsmen.</p>
+
+<p>'In time his little store became quite an evening
+resort for those older townsmen who, no longer able
+to race about the green when work was done, would
+perhaps look in to purchase half a pound of coffee or
+tea, or sugar or salt for the good wife, and stay chatting
+with the amiable grocer. Then maybe one would
+look in to buy an ounce of tobacco, or the excellent
+snuff for which the grocer was far famed, and so on
+and so on until the shop was full. Seated around on
+the tea-chests, coffee bins, tobacco boxes and snuff
+tins, many a pleasant evening have we spent, enlivened
+by good-natured arguments and discussions on every
+conceivable subject.</p>
+
+<p>'One sultry summer's afternoon, as I was standing
+thinking in the cobbled high-street, the quiet of the
+still warm day disturbed only by the gentle breathing
+of the shopmen as they dozed amongst their wares,<!-- Page 203 --><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_203" id="Page_203">[Pg 203]</a></span>
+or the distant bleating of the sheep as they browsed
+in and out the rocks and Druid stones capping the
+surrounding hills, the comforting remembrance came
+to me of many a refreshing cup of tea partaken with
+the grocer in the snug little parlour behind his shop.
+With hardly a thought of what I was about, I allowed
+my idle steps gently to stray towards the homely store
+of my friend. Entering therein, and finding that he
+was away from home, I sat me down upon the little
+chair, so thoughtfully provided for weary customers,
+and with my head supported by the counter, resumed
+my broken train of thought until, completely overcome
+by a sense of drowsy comfort, I feel asleep.</p>
+
+<p>'I was suddenly awakened by the church clock
+striking eight, and found that all the town was wrapped
+in slumber and that the grocer had not yet returned.
+Wondering what on earth could keep him away so
+late, and hoping that no harm had overtaken him, I
+stiffly arose from my seat, stretched myself, and betook
+me to my home and bed.</p>
+
+<p>'On the following morning my first thought was
+for my friend, and on learning that he had not returned
+during the night, I called in turn on each of
+his neighbours,&mdash;the doctor, the vicar, the solicitor,
+the postman, and the corn-chandler, and many another
+equally interested in his movements. Not one, however,
+had seen him since the previous day, and all
+showed the liveliest concern and anxiety at his
+mysterious absence.<!-- Page 204 --><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_204" id="Page_204">[Pg 204]</a></span></p>
+
+<p>'Night followed day, and day again followed night,
+with no sign of the vanished grocer. Weeks now
+passed by, and grief took possession of the little town
+at the loss of one who was missed at every turn.
+Hoping that even yet he might return, we kept his
+shop still open for him, and the little birds, encouraged
+by the silence, flew in and out and nested in the
+scales and amongst the stores, glutting their fluffy
+little bodies with the sugar-plums, the currants, the
+herbs and spices that everywhere abounded. And
+even the swallows, so much entertainment did they find
+therein, forgot, as the summer drew to its close, to
+fly away, preferring much to sleep the winter through
+in comfort.</p>
+
+<p>'But alas! months, and years and years and years
+rolled by, and the grocer never returned, and in time
+little enough thought was given to one who had, at
+one time, been held in such esteem by all. But we,
+the older Troutpegsters, still thought at times of our
+vanished friend, and many were the theories we
+suggested to account for his disappearance.</p>
+
+<p>'One held that he had been beguiled by gypsies,
+another that he had been stolen to be exhibited as a
+rare model of virtue in some distant clime, while
+others believed that the fairies, envious of our happiness
+in possessing such a friend, had taken him from our
+midst; but all agreed that we should have guarded
+our treasure with greater care.</p>
+
+<p>'One never-to-be-forgotten evening the doctor, the<!-- Page 205 --><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_205" id="Page_205">[Pg 205]</a></span>
+solicitor, the vicar, the corn-chandler, and myself (some
+of us already stricken in years) were seated, as was
+now our evening custom, upon the rustic bridge that
+carries the road across the river Peg. The fragrant
+smoke of our long pipes rising to the evening sky, our
+conversation, as was now so frequently the case, had
+drifted from politics, sport, fashions and the latest
+police intelligence to lovingly-recalled memories of
+our long-lost friend, and so sad did we become that
+lumps as large as egg plums rose to our throats, and
+our eyes brimmed over with tears.</p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 400px;">
+<a href="images/i_268.jpg"><img src="images/i_268_tn.jpg" width="400" height="191" alt="" title="" /></a>
+<span class="caption">AFFECTED BY HIS STORY</span>
+</div>
+
+<p>'Drying our eyes we now smoked on in silent contemplation
+of the past; the night gradually drew
+down, and the first star appeared in the cloudless sky
+when there came to us the sound of a distant footstep,
+coming along the road towards the town, and presently
+a strange figure hove in sight,&mdash;an old, old man, with<!-- Page 206 --><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_206" id="Page_206">[Pg 206]</a></span>
+long tangled grey hair and shaggy beard, clothed in
+the most pitiable rags, torn, and held together with
+straw and odd pieces of string. He passed slowly
+across the bridge, leaning heavily on his staff, and
+limped with difficulty towards the town, into which
+with one accord we followed him.</p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 400px;">
+<a href="images/i_269.jpg"><img src="images/i_269_tn.jpg" width="400" height="232" alt="" title="" /></a>
+<span class="caption">PLUMP INTO THE RIVER WE WENT</span>
+</div>
+
+<p>'Down the cobbled high street he walked until he
+came to the shop of the vanished grocer into which
+he turned without any hesitation. Wondering what
+business could take him there, we all hastened to the
+door of the shop, and there, with the utmost astonishment,
+beheld the stranger remove his threadbare
+coat, and replace it with the grocer's moth-eaten apron
+that had hung for so long from a peg on the door;
+then he commenced dusting the shop and putting it<!-- Page 207 --><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_207" id="Page_207">[Pg 207]</a></span>
+straight. As I gazed, my astonishment gave place to
+the most incredulous amazement when I detected in
+the old man a fancied likeness to the departed grocer.
+At last, after closer scrutiny, I was convinced that it
+was indeed no other than my friend actually returned
+after all these years, and as he at the same time
+more easily recognised me, we fell into each other's
+arms, and who shall describe the extravagance of
+our joy?</p>
+
+<p>'In a little while, when we had calmed down, we
+all retired to the little parlour behind the shop, and
+our good friend brewed us a cup of tea as of old, and
+after a little gentle persuasion related to us the following
+strange story of his disappearance:&mdash;</p>
+
+<p>'"On that memorable summer afternoon, many
+years ago, as I was weighing out the sugar into pound
+and half-pound packets (which, as you may remember,
+was my rule at that time of day to prepare for the
+evening trade), a strange old gentleman, clothed in
+the deepest black from cap to slippers, yet withal
+possessed of the most snowy ringlets and beard,
+entered my shop and begged of me some food for
+his family, assuring me that they were all slowly dying
+of starvation.</p>
+
+<p>'"Affected by his story, I was making up for him a
+parcel containing lentils, raisins, dates, figs, sugar, and
+other goods which I thought might be acceptable,
+when, to my astonishment, the ungrateful old rascal
+snatched up a large tin of the finest snuff, which you<!-- Page 208 --><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_208" id="Page_208">[Pg 208]</a></span>
+will remember I used to sell in great quantities, and
+bolted with it out of the shop.</p>
+
+<p>'"Without a moment's hesitation I divested myself
+of my apron, and donning my coat, followed him
+at the greatest speed. Away he ran down the high
+street towards the bridge, which he very soon crossed,
+and now along the river bends he sped, with me close
+at his heels. For miles we ran, even as far as the
+source of the river Peg, which we doubled and came
+tearing down the other side. I now perceived that,
+in spite of his age, he ran almost quicker than I did.
+Presently into the river he plunged, I following close,
+and then he retraced his steps towards its source.
+Once more plump into the river we went, and as I
+scrambled up the opposite bank I noticed to my
+dismay that, while I grew more tired and out of
+breath as we ran, he became brisker and fresher.
+Discarding his hat, cloak, and slippers, though still
+holding on to the snuff tin, he now appeared in robes
+of dazzling white, which, with his hair and long white
+beard, flowed behind him as he ran, and gradually
+increased the distance between us.</p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 301px;">
+<a href="images/i_274.jpg"><img src="images/i_274_tn.jpg" width="301" height="400" alt="" title="" /></a>
+<span class="caption">Followed him at the greatest speed</span>
+</div>
+
+<p>'"Soon I could perceive that he was making for
+the hill above the town which, with no difficulty at
+all, he mounted long before I had reached its foot,
+and when at last I struggled to the top the old rogue
+was seated upon one of the Druid stones that here in
+one great circle crown the hill, smiling, and hugging
+to himself the while the tin of snuff. On seeing me<!-- Page 209 --><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_209" id="Page_209">[Pg 209]</a></span>
+again, he soon jumped down, and I dodged him in
+and out of the stones for at least three hours by the
+church clock, and then weary and utterly dejected I
+sat me down on a stone in the centre of the ring and
+wept bitterly. Directly beneath me I could see,
+through my tears, the lights of our little town shine
+out here and there from the gathering darkness, while
+over the hills, away to my left, the edge of the full red
+moon began to show. As higher and higher it climbed
+the sky, one by one there leapt from the earth beneath
+each stone an aged Druid all clothed in white, with
+long waving grey locks and beard, and crowned with
+garlands of oak leaves, holly, laurels, and mistletoe.
+When the circle of Druids was quite complete the
+old rascal who had lured me from my shop, and who
+now appeared to be their chief, stepped towards me,
+now far too bewildered and astounded to resist, and
+solemnly placed upon my brow a wreath of wild violets.
+Then separately, each of the Druids came forward with
+some offering which he placed before me, afterwards
+returning to his place in the circle, so that presently
+there grew upon the grass in front of me a great
+mound of vegetables, fruit, flowers, haunches of
+venison, fowls, hares, rabbits, and young lambs. At
+length, every Druid having made his offering, their
+chief handed round the tin of snuff from which each
+old fellow took a large pinch, and then, linking hands,
+they danced wildly round me.</p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 400px;">
+<a href="images/i_276.jpg"><img src="images/i_276_tn.jpg" width="400" height="161" alt="" title="" /></a>
+<span class="caption">THERE GREW IN FRONT OF ME A GREAT MOUND</span>
+</div>
+
+<p>'"In utter silence, by the light of the moon, now<!-- Page 210 --><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_210" id="Page_210">[Pg 210]</a></span>
+high in the sky, these solemn rites were performed,
+and still without a sound they whirled quicker and
+quicker around me, their feet hardly seeming to touch
+the ground, and their long loose garments streaming
+after them as they flew.</p>
+
+<p>'"Presently the distant chime of the church clock
+striking twelve reached me from the town below and
+I gradually fell into a trance, as one by one the old
+Druids sank into the earth beneath the stones.</p>
+
+<p>'"Every day since then until to-day have I passed
+in complete oblivion, and every night have I awakened
+to find myself seated on the stone in the centre of the
+ring of Druids, with all the power of resistance taken
+from me, compelled to be the object of their weird
+rites.</p>
+
+<p><!-- Page 211 --><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_211" id="Page_211">[Pg 211]</a></span></p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 400px;">
+<a href="images/i_278.jpg"><img src="images/i_278_tn.jpg" width="400" height="300" alt="" title="" /></a>
+<span class="caption">SNEEZING AND SNEEZING</span>
+</div>
+
+<p>'"Last night, however, just as the church clock
+began to strike twelve, such a rush of memories
+flooded my brain, and such a longing to see my old
+home and friends took possession of me, that a
+terrible rage at the cruel tyranny of the Druids had
+gathered in my bosom before the clock had finished
+striking the hour. When it was about to strike the
+last beat, I arose from my seat in the centre of the
+circle and approaching the wicked old chief, I snatched
+the snuff tin from his hands and clapped it, snuff and
+all, right down over his eyes. Strange to say the contents
+of the tin had not diminished by so much as a
+single pinch, and such a fit of sneezing seized the old
+scoundrel that he rolled on the grass in the greatest
+distress, quite unable to put the usual spell upon me.
+All the other Druids, with abject terror expressed on<!-- Page 212 --><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_212" id="Page_212">[Pg 212]</a></span>
+their faces, sank at once into the ground. The form
+of the head Druid, sneezing and sneezing and sneezing,
+gradually faded away before my eyes, and long after
+he had completely disappeared the sneezing could
+still be heard. Eventually this died away, and pulling
+my clothes together as best I could (for by now they
+were all in rags), I made the best of my way home."</p>
+
+<p>'Having finished his story the grocer now became
+very thoughtful, and we all sat round his little room
+smoking in silence until far into the night, wondering
+at the strange events he had related. Next day, and
+for a whole week, great festivities were held to celebrate
+his return, and the Mayor very willingly resigned
+his office in favour of one who was held in such esteem.
+Innumerable presentations were made to him and
+addresses read to him, yet, in spite of all the honours
+he received, never did he forget his old friends. Nor
+was he too proud to serve in his little shop, now
+enlivened by the songs of the birds he had not the
+heart to turn away. He spent the remainder of his
+useful life in the performance of kind deeds and in
+well-deserved happiness.'<!-- Page 213 --><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_213" id="Page_213">[Pg 213]</a></span></p>
+
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 302px;">
+<a href="images/i_280.jpg"><img src="images/i_280_tn.jpg" width="302" height="400" alt="" title="TITLE-PAGE [The Merchant's Wife and the Merchant]" /></a>
+</div>
+<p><!-- Page 214 --><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_214" id="Page_214">[Pg 214]</a></span></p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 400px;">
+<a href="images/i_281.jpg"><img src="images/i_281_tn.jpg" width="400" height="366" alt="" title="HEADPIECE" /></a>
+</div>
+
+<h2><a name="THE_MERCHANTS_WIFE" id="THE_MERCHANTS_WIFE"></a>THE MERCHANT'S WIFE AND<br />
+THE MERCHANT</h2>
+
+
+<p>'Very, very good, indeed,' the King remarked
+when the policeman had finished his story,
+and he was so pleased that he gave all the
+youngsters a half-holiday, with strict injunctions to be
+back in time for tea.<!-- Page 215 --><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_215" id="Page_215">[Pg 215]</a></span></p>
+
+<p>At tea-time they all came skipping back, bringing
+with them a little old man they had found, apparently
+lost, and moping about the common. He carried in
+front of him a pedlar's tray, on which were exposed
+for sale many little oddments, such as reels of cotton,
+needles, pins, ribbons, and even little toys, which he
+now hawked round amongst the assembled company.
+As many as were able bought some small thing or
+other out of kindness to the little merchant, and the
+good-natured old monarch invited him to tea.</p>
+
+<p>While they were all enjoying this meal, they were
+disturbed by a great noise, very much like the galloping
+of a horse, and suddenly, without any warning, right
+into their midst there leapt a very large woman, who
+immediately seized upon the little merchant, and
+attempted to drag him away. Bill at once went to
+the assistance of the little fellow, and endeavoured
+to pacify his assailant. At length the irate creature
+calmed down, and addressing the company in an
+aggrieved tone, said:&mdash;'It's all very well for you
+people to stand up for this wicked man, but not one
+of you knows the dance the little wretch has led me
+for the last fifteen years.'</p>
+
+<p>'Of course,' the King answered, 'it is hardly to be
+expected that we should know anything of either of
+you, considering that this is the very first time we
+have had the pleasure of meeting you. Perhaps you
+will be so kind as to enlighten us, and explain to us
+your strange conduct.'<!-- Page 216 --><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_216" id="Page_216">[Pg 216]</a></span></p>
+
+<p>The large woman now sat down upon the grass and
+said:&mdash;'Well, I suppose I had better do so. Give me
+a cup of tea, and I'll let you know all there is to
+know.'</p>
+
+<p>A cup of tea was accordingly handed to her, from
+which she took a sip, and then proceeded thus:&mdash;</p>
+
+<p>'About fifteen years ago I was so unfortunate as to
+wed this poor specimen of a man you see before you,
+and we had not set up house together very long before
+I could see that he wanted thoroughly looking after,
+and, indeed, that he could hardly be allowed out by
+himself. Now this was very awkward, as his business
+required that he should be out all day, so I proposed
+to accompany him on his rounds. Holding him securely
+fastened to the end of a long cord, I never let him out
+of my sight for more than a minute at a time, and so
+kept him from mischief. After a year or so, however,
+this grew rather tiresome for me, as I had to neglect
+my household duties in attending upon my husband,
+and, in the end, was compelled to let him out again
+alone.</p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 302px;">
+<a href="images/i_286.jpg"><img src="images/i_286_tn.jpg" width="302" height="400" alt="" title="" /></a>
+<span class="caption">Bringing with them a little old man</span>
+</div>
+
+<p>'But you may be sure I did not do this until I had
+laid down certain fixed rules for his behaviour, which
+I made him promise to obey. Amongst these, one was
+that he should start from home not a minute earlier
+and not a minute later than eight o'clock in the morning;
+another was, that if he returned either a minute
+earlier or a minute later than eight o'clock in the
+evening, he should go supperless to bed. And, would<!-- Page 217 --><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_217" id="Page_217">[Pg 217]</a></span>
+you believe me, in spite of all my care, he would sometimes
+return earlier and, as I learnt afterwards, remain
+outside until the clock struck eight, when he would
+creep in as though he had only just returned?</p>
+
+<p>'But my great trouble only began a few weeks ago,
+when, one evening, having cooked his nightly turnip,
+I waited patiently for my good man's return. At length
+the clock struck eight, and, to my surprise, it was not
+immediately followed by my husband's timid knock.
+One minute passed; two minutes passed; three
+minutes passed; four minutes passed; and, on the
+fifth minute, there was a low knock at the door, and
+in crept the miserable man, and cowered to his place.
+But, as you may suppose, there was no turnip for him
+<i>that</i> night, until he had given a satisfactory explanation
+of his late return. The only excuse the frightened
+little ruffian had to offer was, that he had dropped a
+needle on the road, and had to return for it. So he
+went supperless to bed.</p>
+
+<p>'The next evening, having warmed up the old
+turnip, I again awaited his return. Eight o'clock
+struck, and, to my even greater surprise, it was not
+followed by the merchant's knock, and this time it was
+six minutes past before he entered, and with no better
+excuse for his late arrival than that he had dropped
+a reel of cotton on the road, and had to return for it.
+"Let this be a lesson to you, my man," said I, as I
+once more put away the turnip, which he had been
+regarding with longing eyes, and sent him to bed.<!-- Page 218 --><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_218" id="Page_218">[Pg 218]</a></span></p>
+
+<p>'For the third time, on the following evening, I
+warmed up the turnip, feeling convinced that after the
+severe lesson he had received, my merchant would not
+again serve me such a trick. But eight o'clock struck,
+and then one minute passed; then two, three, four,
+five, six, seven, eight, nine, and as the minute-hand
+pointed to the ten, he crawled in on hands and knees,
+not daring to raise his eyes from the ground. And
+then I told him what I thought of his conduct.</p>
+
+<p><!-- Page 219 --><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_219" id="Page_219">[Pg 219]</a></span></p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 400px;">
+<a href="images/i_290.jpg"><img src="images/i_290_tn.jpg" width="400" height="301" alt="" title="" /></a>
+<span class="caption">MOPING ABOUT THE COMMON</span>
+</div>
+
+<p>'Without waiting to hear a word of explanation, I
+now locked him in a cupboard beneath the stairs, put
+the turnip away, and went to bed. In the morning I
+let him out, but of course gave him no breakfast, and
+in due time he took his tray of goods, and left the
+house without a word. Hardly had he departed three
+minutes, when I hastily donned my bonnet and shawl,
+and followed him, determined to learn, if possible,
+what had delayed him on the three previous evenings.
+Keeping at a safe distance, I followed him all over the
+town, but nothing unusual happened. He called at
+every house, displaying his wares to any one likely to
+buy; selling a ribbon here, perhaps some pins or
+needles there, but his conduct, on the whole, seemed
+harmless enough. At length the day passed by, and
+the merchant started homewards; but he had not
+moved many paces, when he came to a stop, and
+seemed to debate in his mind whether he should
+return or not. Then, looking up and down the road,
+and seeing no one watching him, he suddenly took to
+his heels, and ran as hard as he could in the opposite
+direction. I lost no time in climbing over the wall,
+behind which I had been hiding, and quickly followed
+him. Out of the town the villain ran as swiftly as he
+could go, and I followed as close as possible, without
+being seen by him, and was only just in time to see
+the rogue climb into an old barrel that was standing,
+end up, in a field near the roadway. "Now," thought
+I, "I've got you in a trap, my fine fellow," and I ran
+up to the barrel. I could hardly believe the evidence
+of my eyes when I found it to be quite empty. Amazed<!-- Page 220 --><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_220" id="Page_220">[Pg 220]</a></span>
+beyond measure, I at last turned my steps towards
+home.</p>
+
+<p>'On arriving home, I found that my husband had
+not returned, and it was fully twenty minutes past
+eight when at last he appeared, but I was so astonished
+that I could not say a word to the little rascal, and
+once more he went supperless to bed.</p>
+
+<p>'For four more days I followed the little man
+without approaching a solution to this riddle. Each
+day he would go about his business in the usual manner
+and, in the evening, he would run to the barrel, into
+which he would speedily disappear. He came home
+later and later every night, until I could stand this
+state of things no longer; and, on the sixth day I
+determined never to return until I had satisfactorily
+cleared up this mystery. This time, instead of following
+my merchant through the town, I went direct to the
+barrel, and, hiding myself behind a bush near by,
+prepared to wait there all day and see what happened.</p>
+
+<p>'I had not made myself comfortable many minutes
+before I saw two old men coming along the road from
+the town; so old were they indeed, that they could
+only creep along by leaning one against the other.
+Right up to the barrel they crawled, and then, to
+my surprise, they scrambled over its sides and disappeared.
+Presently two more just as old and decrepit
+came along and disappeared in the same way.
+Now three more came, then two again, and then only
+one, all as old and wretched as could be, and each<!-- Page 221 --><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_221" id="Page_221">[Pg 221]</a></span>
+one crawled into the barrel and vanished. This went
+on for some time when, unable to restrain my curiosity
+and wondering why on earth the barrel didn't become
+full, I hurriedly left my hiding-place and looked therein,
+to find that it yet remained quite empty. I had
+barely time enough to regain my hiding-place when
+more and more old men came along the road and
+disappeared into the barrel.</p>
+
+<p>'This went on all day, and when the evening drew
+near, I could see my little man approaching from the
+town. As I expected, he walked straight up to the
+barrel, and in a twinkling had vanished inside. Without
+giving myself a moment to think, I once more left
+my hiding-place and climbed into the mysterious old
+tub. It was certainly rather a tight fit, but I managed
+to get in somehow or other. Presently I was astonished
+and alarmed to find that the bottom of the barrel,
+which I had imagined to rest on the earth, began to
+give way and open like a trap-door, and I felt myself
+sinking lower and lower, down a sort of well. The
+next thing, I found myself at the bottom of the well,
+and at the mouth of a tunnel so narrow and low that
+I could only go through it on my hands and knees.
+This, however, I proceeded to do, and found that it
+opened into a great chamber cut out of the solid rock.</p>
+
+<p>'Not daring to enter, I gazed into this strange
+place, which was lighted with many candles all affixed
+to the rocky walls with their own tallow. On the
+centre of the floor was piled a great heap of children's<!-- Page 222 --><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_222" id="Page_222">[Pg 222]</a></span>
+toys,&mdash;tin trumpets, wooden horses, drums, hoops,
+skipping-ropes, rocking-horses, peg-tops, in fact, every
+conceivable toy that a sensible child could wish for.
+Around this great heap, instead of children, sat all
+the poor miserable old men I had seen enter the
+barrel, and amongst them I now perceived my
+husband, who certainly seemed no happier than
+the rest. Securely hidden in the narrow passage
+from every one in the room, I could now watch all
+that took place, in the greatest comfort.</p>
+
+<p>'Not a word was said by any of the decrepit
+creatures as they stared absently at the toys in the
+middle of the room. Presently one whom I took to
+be their host, as I had not seen him enter the barrel,
+took from a peg on the wall, from which it had been
+suspended by a piece of string, an old bent tin pipe
+and proceeded to play. At once the wrinkled faces
+of the poor old fellows began to brighten up, and as
+the music grew more lively, they rocked their withered
+frames to and fro to the tunes. Soon, one by one,
+they stood upon their feet, and seeming to lose their
+old age as the music every moment became more
+enchanting, they forgot their feebleness and danced
+gaily about the room.</p>
+
+<p>'Younger and younger they grew, until my husband
+appeared to be such a dapper and bright little man
+that I could not prevent myself from leaving my
+hiding-place and going up to him and clasping him
+round the waist. Not a bit surprised did he seem to<!-- Page 223 --><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_223" id="Page_223">[Pg 223]</a></span>
+see me there, and as we danced merrily up and down
+the room, to my great joy and astonishment, I felt
+myself growing younger every moment, whilst the
+rest of the company, now all transformed to fine
+young men, danced in one circle round us, as handsome
+a couple as you would wish to see.</p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 400px;">
+<a href="images/i_294.jpg"><img src="images/i_294_tn.jpg" width="400" height="345" alt="" title="" /></a>
+<span class="caption">KEPT HIM OUT OF MISCHIEF</span>
+</div>
+
+<p>'Still the magical music continued, and if anything
+grew more and more enchanting as we grew younger
+and younger, until we seemed to be frolicsome boys<!-- Page 224 --><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_224" id="Page_224">[Pg 224]</a></span>
+and girls once more. At last we found ourselves to
+be a crowd of little toddling children, and, my word!
+how we grabbed at the great heap of toys placed there
+for our amusement, and what a time we had to be
+sure!</p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 400px;">
+<a href="images/i_295.jpg"><img src="images/i_295_tn.jpg" width="400" height="149" alt="" title="" /></a>
+<span class="caption">GLORIOUS TARTS AND SWEETS</span>
+</div>
+
+<p>'Under the great heap of toys, we discovered the
+most glorious tarts, pastries, cakes and sweets, and it
+didn't seem to matter how much you ate of them, for
+you never lost your appetite for more. At last, alas!
+the wonderful music quieted down, and by degrees we
+once more lost our childhood, then our youth, and,
+when the music suddenly stopped, we all returned to
+our old selves again, and fell flat on our faces quite
+tired out, while our host hung up his old tin pipe on
+its peg in the wall.</p>
+
+<p>'When we had all somewhat recovered, I fixed my
+eye upon my husband. "Now," thought I, "I've got
+you. This is how you waste your time, is it? And
+why you come home late for supper." The conscience-stricken<!-- Page 225 --><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_225" id="Page_225">[Pg 225]</a></span>
+creature trembled before my gaze, and then
+made a rush for the door. All made way for him, but
+I quickly followed through the tunnel and mounted a
+ladder which led to the trap-door at the bottom of the
+barrel, out of which I climbed, but only in time to see
+the rascal disappear into the town. I then made the
+best of my way home.</p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 400px;">
+<a href="images/i_296.jpg"><img src="images/i_296_tn.jpg" width="400" height="140" alt="" title="" /></a>
+<span class="caption">IT DIDN&#39;T MATTER HOW MUCH YOU ATE</span>
+</div>
+
+<p>'He had not returned when I arrived, so I waited
+three whole days and nights, prepared to make the
+unnatural man feel to the full my resentment at his
+shameful conduct. On the fourth day, as he had not
+come home, I went back to the tub, and not seeing
+any sign of him, I gave a kick to the old thing and
+sent it rolling over and over on its side. Would
+you believe me, there was not the slightest trace of
+any passage or well ever having existed beneath it.
+Since then I have wandered all over the country
+in search of this ungrateful wretch.' And the indignant
+woman, having finished her story, once more<!-- Page 226 --><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_226" id="Page_226">[Pg 226]</a></span>
+attempted to drag the affrighted little merchant
+away. Bill again intervened, and after a few very
+kind words, successfully persuaded her to allow her
+husband to remain with them, at the same time
+inviting her to make one of their brave band.</p>
+
+<p>This she only consented to do on condition that
+the policeman also never left them, 'as you never know,'
+said she, 'what the little wretch will be up to next.'</p>
+
+<p>The policeman having no objection to fall in with
+her wishes, they all marched on in peace.</p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 400px;">
+<a href="images/i_297.jpg"><img src="images/i_297_tn.jpg" width="400" height="303" alt="" title="TAILPIECE" /></a>
+</div>
+<p><!-- Page 227 --><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_227" id="Page_227">[Pg 227]</a></span></p>
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 298px;">
+<a href="images/i_298.jpg"><img src="images/i_298_tn.jpg" width="298" height="400" alt="" title="TITLE-PAGE [The Camp-Followers]" /></a>
+</div>
+<p><!-- Page 228 --><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_228" id="Page_228">[Pg 228]</a></span></p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 176px;">
+<a href="images/i_299.jpg"><img src="images/i_299_tn.jpg" width="176" height="400" alt="" title="HEADPIECE" /></a>
+</div>
+
+<hr />
+<h2><a name="THE_CAMP-FOLLOWERS" id="THE_CAMP-FOLLOWERS"></a>THE CAMP-FOLLOWERS</h2>
+
+
+<p>Time was now getting on, and the fidgety old
+King, weary of being constantly on the move,
+became more and more impatient to reach
+his journey's end. For many days they had been<!-- Page 229 --><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_229" id="Page_229">[Pg 229]</a></span>
+crossing the great desert, and were fast approaching
+the further side when, one evening, the aggravating
+old fellow decided that they should march on right
+through the night. In vain did Bill point out to him
+how tired they all were; the old King would not even
+listen to him, so, whether they liked it or not, they
+had to jog on.</p>
+
+<p>Wearily they trudged along, and towards morning
+they came upon a great stone sphinx, in the arms of
+which there nestled a company of little children, every
+one of whom was fast asleep. Presently, as the sun
+rose and shone under the lids of their eyes, they, one
+by one, awakened, and stared in mute astonishment
+at the dusty figures before them. Assuring them that
+they had nothing to fear at their hands, Bill, with
+the King's permission, invited them all to breakfast.
+Seated in a great circle on the sands, beneath the old
+sphinx, every one did his utmost to make the strangers
+comfortable and to remove their natural shyness; and,
+in a little while, it was a very jovial party that sat
+demolishing the substantial breakfast prepared for
+them. Many songs were sung and stories told by Bill
+and his comrades, and presently one of the little fellows,
+who appeared to be the youngest of their new friends,
+stood up and related the following story:&mdash;</p>
+
+<p>'We are all brothers and sisters, and lived, until
+yesterday, with our good parents upon a sandbank in
+the mouth of the river Blim which, as you know, is one
+of the smaller tributaries of the river Nile. Our father<!-- Page 230 --><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_230" id="Page_230">[Pg 230]</a></span>
+was a fisherman, and upon the only spot on the bank
+which remained invariably high and dry, the clever
+man had erected a shed which served us for home,
+and which, at least, protected us from the showers of
+spray blown from the rough seas, and the chill winds
+that blew across the neighbouring marshes, as well as
+the cold rains that, in the fall of the year, flooded the
+adjacent country for miles around. A dozen stout
+beams, that had been cast up by the waves, served,
+each with one end deeply embedded in the wet sand,
+as a framework for our humble mansion. These were
+covered over with numerous skins of fish and pieces
+of old rag, all neatly stitched together by our industrious
+mother, or pinned by fish-bones skilfully
+sharpened by grinding their ends between two stones.
+Our good dad's stock-in-trade consisted of one long
+piece of frayed string, with a sharpened fishbone, bent
+in the form of a hook, fastened at one end, a small
+boat and a paddle, the former of which he had skilfully
+fashioned out of an old basket that had been washed
+ashore, and over which he had stretched more of
+the rags and fish-skins, of which we always possessed
+a goodly supply saved over from our meals.</p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 299px;">
+<a href="images/i_304.jpg"><img src="images/i_304_tn.jpg" width="299" height="400" alt="" title="" /></a>
+<span class="caption">They came upon a great stone sphinx</span>
+</div>
+
+<p>'During the long winter months we were entirely
+cut off from our fellow creatures by the floods and the
+terrible storms at sea, and were compelled to subsist
+entirely upon our own resources; and thus we learnt,
+after many a bitter trial, to make almost everything
+we required from the spoils brought home by our<!-- Page 231 --><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_231" id="Page_231">[Pg 231]</a></span>
+hard-working father. The flesh of the fish, of course,
+served us for meat, either fresh or pickled in brine,
+and then dried in the sun. The roes, prepared in the
+same way, were our only delicacies, and, by an indulgence
+in these, we used to celebrate our many birthdays.
+Fish dripping we had in plenty, and the bones
+were dried and ground between two rocks, making the
+finest flour for bread and pies. The tails and fins were
+always saved, and, after a simple drying process, made
+excellent fuel, easily set alight with sparks kindled by
+knocking two stones sharply together. A fine black
+ash was left from fires kindled in this way, which,
+mixed with a little sea-water, made one of the purest
+inks. The good dad always encouraged us to make
+notes on the smooth white skins of the young dab,
+bleached and dried in the sun, explaining how useful
+they would be to us in after-life, and showed us how
+to cut pens from the larger bones of the fish. The
+only parts which the unselfish man reserved for himself
+were the eyes which, when dried, were his only
+substitute for tobacco in that lone part of the world,
+and which he smoked in a pipe most beautifully carved
+by himself, from the spine of an old cod.</p>
+
+<p>'The heads of the fish served the younger children
+for bricks, or even, after a little trimming, for dolls,
+with which they amused themselves during the long
+winter evenings. Many another device had we whereby
+we made the most of our very small opportunities, but
+you will readily see how dependent we were for everything<!-- Page 232 --><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_232" id="Page_232">[Pg 232]</a></span>
+upon the good fortune and resources of our
+father, without whom we should all very quickly have
+perished.</p>
+
+<p>'For many days and nights at a time our good dad
+would remain upon the sea, returning sometimes with
+a good supply of fish; at other times, alas! with only
+one or two little dabs, or even with nothing at all.
+Yet, by dint of saving up for a rainy day, when we had
+more than enough for our present needs, we managed
+to jog along fairly comfortably. One sad winter's
+evening, however, our good parent returned, having
+caught nothing but a very small dab and a very severe
+cold. Our anxious mother, in a state of alarm, lit a
+great fire and, after making him take a bowl of steaming
+fish gruel, with his feet at the same time in a bath
+of hot sea-water, she sent him to bed, and covered him
+up with as many fish skins as she could spare from the
+house. The next day he was decidedly worse, and our
+anxiety increased day by day as he showed no signs of
+improvement. Very soon, with no one to replenish
+our larder, our stores began to run low, and starvation
+stared us in the face.</p>
+
+<p>'At last one morning the invalid called our eldest
+brother to him and said to him:&mdash;"Son, our stores are
+all eaten up, and unless we obtain food by to-morrow
+morning we shall all surely die, so take my boat and
+fishing-line and see what luck will attend you."
+With tears in his eyes, the good-hearted boy left the
+house and very soon embarked.<!-- Page 233 --><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_233" id="Page_233">[Pg 233]</a></span></p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 400px;">
+<a href="images/i_308.jpg"><img src="images/i_308_tn.jpg" width="400" height="291" alt="" title="" /></a>
+<span class="caption">THE HEADS SERVED FOR DOLLS</span>
+</div>
+
+<p>'Having paddled some way out to sea, he threw
+his line, and fished and fished. After a little while he
+drew it in again to find, alas! that he had caught
+nothing. For the second time he cast his line, and
+fished and fished and fished, but on again pulling in
+the line he found that he had no better luck. He
+now for the third time threw out his line, and fished
+and fished and fished and fished, yet no better fortune
+attended him; so, bitterly disappointed, he wound up
+the tackle and paddled home.</p>
+
+<p>'Sorrowfully the unhappy father heard of his eldest
+son's want of success, and then sent for his second<!-- Page 234 --><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_234" id="Page_234">[Pg 234]</a></span>
+eldest son, and requested him to see if fortune would
+be kinder to him than it had been to his brother.
+But, alas! he returned likewise without even so much
+as a whitebait. Then, one after the other, he sent all
+his sons except myself, who am the youngest of all,
+but not a little piece of luck awaited any of them.
+The wretched man now called me to him and said:&mdash;"Son,
+hitherto I have been reluctant to send one so
+young upon such an errand, but, alack-a-day! you are
+now our only hope; unless good fortune waits upon
+you we shall all perish."</p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 400px;">
+<a href="images/i_309.jpg"><img src="images/i_309_tn.jpg" width="400" height="135" alt="" title="" /></a>
+<span class="caption">YOU ARE NOW OUR ONLY HOPE</span>
+</div>
+
+<p>'After comforting him as much as I could, and
+assuring him that I would do my best, I hastened
+down to the shore and embarked in the little boat. I
+paddled a good way out to sea until I came to a
+suitable fishing-ground, and then threw out my line.
+I fished and fished and fished and fished, and on
+drawing in my line found nothing on the hook except
+the bait, a wretched piece of dried fish skin, which
+looked very draggled as it rose from the water.<!-- Page 235 --><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_235" id="Page_235">[Pg 235]</a></span>
+"Better luck next time," thought I, as I threw my
+line for the second time, and fished and fished and
+fished and fished and fished. Yet, on pulling up
+the line, I found to my dismay that instead of
+better luck I had even worse, if that were possible,
+for the wretched bait had vanished from the hook.
+"Once more," thought I, as I dropped my line overboard
+for the third time, "and, fish or no fish, I must
+give it up, even though we all die of starvation." So
+I fished and fished and fished and fished and fished
+with all my might, and when at length I had hauled it
+in you may imagine my distress when I discovered that
+not merely was there no fish upon the line, but that
+the hook itself had disappeared. With tears of rage
+and disappointment I now gave it up and prepared
+to return, but I had not gone very far when I thought,
+"Shall I have just one more try even without hook or
+bait?" And not giving myself any time to think
+about it, I hurled my line out for the fourth time
+and fished and fished and fished and fished and fished
+and fished and fished as hard as I could, when fancying
+that I felt a nibble, I hauled it in as quickly as
+possible and found an old sardine-tin which had
+become entangled in the line.</p>
+
+<p>'Hastily opening the tin, all I found therein was
+the head of an old sprat. "Alas!" said I to myself,
+"is this, after all my troubles, the only food I can take
+to my suffering father and hungering mother and
+brothers and sisters; better it would have been had<!-- Page 236 --><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_236" id="Page_236">[Pg 236]</a></span>
+we never been born!" and the tears streamed down
+my face.</p>
+
+<p>'As I bent low over my miserable catch a great
+shadow passed across the boat and suddenly looking
+up, I beheld a beautiful albatross sailing in the sky
+above me. No sooner did the graceful creature catch
+sight of the head of the sprat than it swooped down
+upon the tin that contained it, snatching it from my
+hands, and flew off with it as speedily as possible.
+Now it happened I had not let go my hold on the
+line, the other end of which was still fastened to
+the tin, so that in a very few minutes I felt myself
+lifted bodily up and whirled through the air and out
+to sea at a great speed. Dangling many feet beneath
+the great bird, on and on I was carried over the
+tops of the waves, in the greatest anxiety lest the
+marauding fowl should take a lower flight, in which
+case I should inevitably have been plunged into the
+sea and drowned.</p>
+
+<p>'How many miles we travelled thus it would be
+impossible for me to tell, but at length my arms grew
+tired of holding on and supporting my weight, and I
+began to fear every moment that I should slip off into
+the sea, when I beheld a fishing-boat in the distance,
+right in our course. Hoping that we should reach it
+before my strength gave out I anxiously watched the
+vessel as we gradually drew near. At last I found
+myself directly over the boat, and shutting my eyes, I
+let go my hold on the line, and dropped down right<!-- Page 237 --><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_237" id="Page_237">[Pg 237]</a></span>
+on to a pile of fish in the middle of the deck, sending
+them flying in all directions amongst the astonished
+fisherman.</p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 400px;">
+<a href="images/i_312.jpg"><img src="images/i_312_tn.jpg" width="400" height="345" alt="" title="" /></a>
+<span class="caption">I FISHED AND FISHED AND FISHED</span>
+</div>
+
+<p>'My remarkable appearance amongst them had the
+most astonishing effect upon the fishermen. They
+one and all leapt into the sea, and notwithstanding
+my endeavours to entice them back to the boat, and
+to explain to them my sudden descent upon their
+vessel, the affrighted creatures swam off to the<!-- Page 238 --><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_238" id="Page_238">[Pg 238]</a></span>
+distant shore, which, let us hope, they reached in
+safety.</p>
+
+<p>'Looking around me I now discovered, to my great
+joy, that the boat was full of the finest fish, so, seizing
+the oars, I turned her head towards home, where I
+arrived with my prize on the following morning, after
+a hard night's work, rowing the heavily-laden craft to
+shore.</p>
+
+<p>'The rejoicings were great, as you may well
+imagine, when my good parents and brothers and
+sisters beheld me again, for all had given me up for
+lost, our old boat having been washed ashore the
+previous evening. A great meal of fish was prepared
+as soon as possible, at which we all ate heartily after
+so long a fast, and the old gentleman's condition was
+greatly improved by the meal.</p>
+
+<p>'Long before the large supply of food had been
+consumed, the good living and comfort had restored
+our dad's health, and he was able to resume his fishing.
+Being now so much better equipped with the fine
+boat in which I had returned, and with the splendid
+tackle we discovered therein, good luck always attended
+his fishing and we never wanted any more.</p>
+
+<p>'In the course of time it became necessary that
+their children should all leave them and seek their
+fortunes, and only yesterday morning, with many
+tears, we bade adieu to our kind-hearted parents
+and started on our journey.'</p>
+
+<p>The young strangers were now all thoroughly<!-- Page 239 --><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_239" id="Page_239">[Pg 239]</a></span>
+refreshed by their breakfast, and learning the nature
+of the campaign upon which the King and his army
+were engaged, willingly offered their assistance as
+camp-followers, or in any other way that they might
+be useful. The King very gratefully accepted their
+services, and before resuming the march the whole
+army went out of their way and visited the kindly
+fisherman. The King was pleased to confer many
+honours on the old fellow, and, before leaving him,
+promised to look after his numerous family, and in
+the future to provide for all their wants.</p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 400px;">
+<a href="images/i_314.jpg"><img src="images/i_314_tn.jpg" width="400" height="143" alt="" title="TAILPIECE" /></a>
+</div>
+<p><!-- Page 240 --><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_240" id="Page_240">[Pg 240]</a></span></p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 164px;">
+<a href="images/i_315.jpg"><img src="images/i_315_tn.jpg" width="164" height="300" alt="" title="VIGNETTE" /></a>
+</div>
+<p><!-- Page 241 --><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_241" id="Page_241">[Pg 241]</a></span></p>
+
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 300px;">
+<a href="images/i_316.jpg"><img src="images/i_316_tn.jpg" width="300" height="400" alt="" title="TITLE-PAGE [The Seige of Troy]" /></a>
+</div>
+<p><!-- Page 242 --><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_242" id="Page_242">[Pg 242]</a></span></p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 400px;">
+<a href="images/i_317.jpg"><img src="images/i_317_tn.jpg" width="400" height="345" alt="" title="HEADPIECE" /></a>
+</div>
+
+
+
+<hr />
+<h2><a name="THE_SIEGE_OF_TROY" id="THE_SIEGE_OF_TROY"></a>THE SIEGE OF TROY</h2>
+
+
+<p>Early one fine morning, before the soldiers
+had arisen, the King, in a very excited state,
+called his general to his bedside and, pointing
+through the opening of his tent, said:&mdash;</p>
+
+<p>'Bill, can you see, far away upon the horizon, that
+little point of light?' And Bill, straining his eyes in
+the direction indicated, was indeed able to detect
+a little flash, as though the sun were shining upon
+a cucumber frame many miles away.</p>
+
+<p>'Well,' said the old man, 'that is the reflection of
+the sun upon the dome of my palace in Troy.'<!-- Page 243 --><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_243" id="Page_243">[Pg 243]</a></span></p>
+
+<p>Bill, delighted that at last they were nearing their
+journey's end, went off and awakened the camp with
+the glad news, and all came running out and gazed in
+the direction of Troy; and so heartened were the
+brave fellows at the sight that they gave three resounding
+cheers.</p>
+
+<p>Their eagerness to be off was so great that there
+was no breakfast that morning, and soon performing
+a hurried toilet, and speedily packing up their sticks,
+they were on the move once more. The King's excitement
+knew no bounds and, after distributing amongst
+his followers the contents of his pocket, he insisted on
+climbing out of his chariot, and giving each of his
+officers in turn a ride therein. Having travelled some
+little way, the King suddenly called a halt, and held
+up his hand for silence, and then, in the clear air,
+could be heard the bells of Troy! More excited than
+ever, the King now took off his crown, and removing
+some of the jewels with the pen-knife which Bill had
+presented to him on his birthday, gave one to each of
+his chief officers.</p>
+
+<p>In a little time the towers of Troy came into view,
+on the further edge of the great plain they were crossing,
+and the elated King, quite beside himself with joy
+and expectation at this glorious sight, stood upon the
+seat of his chariot and danced, much to the alarm of
+Boadicea, who was wheeling him. He then sat down
+again, and, taking off his slippers, he threw them, one
+by one, as high into the air as he could, and caught<!-- Page 244 --><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_244" id="Page_244">[Pg 244]</a></span>
+them as they descended. As they came nearer and
+nearer to their goal the old fellow's spirits rose to
+such a pitch that something really had to be done, so
+the musician was told-off to play soothing tunes to
+him, and in time the excitable creature calmed down,
+only, however, to break out again when they halted
+that night before the walls of Troy. At last, to keep
+him quiet once and for all, and out of everybody's way,
+they put him to bed with a soothing-draught made up
+by the doctor.</p>
+
+<p>The approach of the gallant fellows had been
+closely observed from the watch-towers of the city, and,
+in consequence, they found the gates fast closed when
+they halted before them. And, as nothing could be
+done that night, they fixed up their camp and retired
+to rest.</p>
+
+<p>On the following morning, Bill sent the merchant's
+wife as an ambassadress into the city, to demand its instant
+surrender, and very gladly she undertook the task.</p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 301px;">
+<a href="images/i_322.jpg"><img src="images/i_322_tn.jpg" width="301" height="400" alt="" title="" /></a>
+<span class="caption">Closely observed from the watch towers</span>
+</div>
+
+<p>'This is quite in my line,' said she, as she knocked
+for admittance at the gate, through which she was
+admitted after a little delay. Bill waited anxiously
+for her reappearance, hoping that the King of Persia
+would be wise enough to give up the city without
+further trouble, but suddenly a great roar resounded
+from the other side of the walls, and almost immediately
+afterwards the ambassadress, with tufts of the
+Persian King's hair held between her clenched fingers,
+was thrown out of the gates.<!-- Page 245 --><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_245" id="Page_245">[Pg 245]</a></span></p>
+
+<p>'There's nothing for it now,' thought Bill, 'but to
+lay siege to the place,' and he at once proceeded to
+walk round the city and examine the nature of the
+ground; after which he mustered his whole force
+before him, and disposed them according to the
+accompanying plan:&mdash;</p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 400px;">
+<a href="images/i_324.jpg"><img src="images/i_324_tn.jpg" width="400" height="339" alt="" title="PLAN OF SEIGE" /></a>
+</div>
+
+<p>In this way Bill completely surrounded the city,
+allowing no provisions of any kind to enter, and prepared
+to wait until the inhabitants had exhausted all
+their stores, and could hold out no longer.<!-- Page 246 --><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_246" id="Page_246">[Pg 246]</a></span></p>
+
+<p>These were the instructions of General Bill to his
+army, to be faithfully carried out during the siege:&mdash;</p>
+
+<blockquote><p>1. That the King was not to be allowed out of his
+tent on any account, in spite of his impatience.</p>
+
+<p>2. That, with the exception of the general and the
+scout, no warrior was allowed, without his
+officers permission, to leave his post, day or
+night, during the siege, and if any one were
+discovered sleeping without one eye open, his
+allowance of sugar for porridge next morning
+was to be stopped.</p>
+
+<p>3. That the scout was to be continually on the
+move.</p>
+
+<p>4. That Boadicea was to prepare all the meals, and
+that at each meal time she was to take the
+food she had cooked to the soldiers (an extra
+large portion being always reserved for the
+King).</p>
+
+<p>5. That every morning, with breakfast, she was to
+take to each his boots brightly polished, a
+bowl of hot water to wash in, and a comb, and
+that every evening she should bring them
+their slippers and their night-shirts.</p></blockquote>
+
+<p>For three years the siege went on, in quite a
+peaceful and, at times, even a pleasant way, with no
+sign at all of the Trojans feeling any discomfort; in
+fact, since the Merchant's Wife had been turned from<!-- Page 247 --><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_247" id="Page_247">[Pg 247]</a></span>
+the city, not a sound had been heard from within
+the walls.</p>
+
+<p>Now it happened one morning, about this time,
+that the gates, to every one's surprise, were thrown
+open, and a messenger, with a flag of truce, came
+forth. The poor fellow looked hungry enough, indeed,
+yet the Merchant's Wife roughly seized upon the
+famished creature, much to his annoyance, and
+brought him to the general. Bill, hoping that he
+had come with an offer from the King of Persia to
+surrender the city, joyfully handed the young man a
+chair and a biscuit, and, before allowing him to speak,
+insisted on his eating a bowl of hot porridge. When
+he had hungrily demolished the food, Bill kindly
+invited him to deliver his message, which, in a hesitating
+manner, he thus proceeded to do:&mdash;</p>
+
+<p>'The King of Persia sends greetings to his dear old
+friend, the King of Troy, and wishes to assure him
+that he bears no ill-will towards him. On the contrary,
+his happiest moments are spent in recalling
+those far-off times when, as young children, they
+played the livelong day together, in good-will and
+friendliness. He also begs him, for a few minutes,
+to allow his natural kindness to overcome his enmity,
+and send his old friend, now faint with hunger,
+enough suet to make just a little pudding for himself.'</p>
+
+<p>Bill, a trifle disappointed, took the message to the
+King of Troy, who seemed very much affected on
+hearing it.<!-- Page 248 --><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_248" id="Page_248">[Pg 248]</a></span></p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 400px;">
+<a href="images/i_327.jpg"><img src="images/i_327_tn.jpg" width="400" height="179" alt="" title="" /></a>
+<span class="caption">THESE PARCELS WERE NOW LABELLED</span>
+</div>
+
+<p>'Give the old fellow a cracknel,' roared he, 'and
+tell him that if he surrenders the city at once, he can
+have as nice a snack of dinner as he could wish.'</p>
+
+<p>The messenger returned to the city with the
+message and the cracknel, and Bill waited all through
+the day and night, but no word came from the city.</p>
+
+<p>After breakfast next morning, when, as Bill thought,
+the King of Persia would be feeling hungry, he called
+to him the nine stout sons of Crispin and Chloe and
+then summoned to him the Merchant's Wife and the
+Sicilian Char-woman, and between them they managed
+to wrap up each of the brave lads in brown paper,
+properly secured with strong string, making nine very
+neat parcels. The general had previously instructed
+the brave fellows how to act at the right moment, and
+in the meantime to remain perfectly still. These
+parcels were now labelled severally lemon cheese cake,
+fairy cakes, rock cakes, Jumbles, raspberry noyeau,<!-- Page 249 --><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_249" id="Page_249">[Pg 249]</a></span>
+mince pies, Pontefract cakes and peppermint cushions,
+and then all neatly piled upon the King's wheeling-chair,
+which Bill had borrowed for the purpose.</p>
+
+<p>Solemnly preceded by Bill, the Merchant's Wife
+and the Char-woman (being the two strongest people
+in the forces) now wheeled the chair up to the gates,
+in front of which they emptied its contents.</p>
+
+<p>The hungry Trojans had observed their approach,
+from the walls above which could now be seen innumerable
+heads popping up and down, and no sooner
+did they see what the chair was supposed to contain
+than they climbed down, and without any hesitation
+opened the gates. Bill then spoke to the Trojans in
+the following words:&mdash;</p>
+
+<p>'The King of Troy sends greetings to the King of
+Persia and hearing that his stores are exhausted, and,
+although at war with him, not wishing that he should
+suffer any serious discomfort, begs his acceptance of
+these provisions.' Bill and the two ladies now retired
+with the empty wheeling-chair and took up their
+position before the walls once more.</p>
+
+<p>In the meanwhile the parcels were taken into the
+city and presented to the King of Persia who was
+then sitting, with the whole of his court, hungrily
+wondering what was going to happen next. The
+parcels were heaped up before him, and he could
+hardly conceal his delight and eagerness to begin on
+the victuals at once. All his courtiers too seemed
+quite inclined to forget their manners and help themselves<!-- Page 250 --><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_250" id="Page_250">[Pg 250]</a></span>
+before they were asked. The King now took
+up the largest parcel, labelled Pontefract cakes, which
+happened to contain Hannibal, when at a given signal
+each one of the courageous young fellows broke from
+his confinement and at once set on those around him.
+Hannibal and Noah seized the Persian King and
+bound him securely with some of the string from the
+parcels; each of the other brave sons of Crispin bound
+some minister or courtier in the same way, and the
+rest of the court fled from the palace in abject terror.</p>
+
+<p>The nine lads now gave chase, and the panic which
+possessed the affrighted courtiers spread, in no time,
+through the city, and the whole of the inhabitants were
+soon fleeing before the infuriated fellows.</p>
+
+<p>Possessed with the idea that their pursuers were
+in much greater force than they really were, the scared
+wretches made for the gates of the city, out of which
+they ran as hard as they could. Bill, the General,
+wisely allowed them to pass through his lines, which
+they did in the maddest terror, and then fled far away
+over the plain, as the besieging forces once more
+closed in around the city.</p>
+
+<p>Seeing that the gates still remained open, Bill now
+marshalled his gallant army, and in one grand procession
+led them into the city.</p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 364px;">
+<a href="images/i_330.jpg"><img src="images/i_330_tn.jpg" width="364" height="400" alt="" title="" /></a>
+<span class="caption">AND PACKED HIM OFF TO PERSIA</span>
+</div>
+
+<p>In front of all solemnly marched the General; then
+the Real Soldier; then the Merchant's Wife; then
+the Sicilian Char-woman, proudly waving her flag;
+then followed a number of Bill's charges, the Ancient<!-- Page 252 --><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_252" id="Page_252">[Pg 252]</a></span><!-- Page 251 --><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_251" id="Page_251">[Pg 251]</a></span>
+Mariner, the Doctor, Camp-followers, the Musician
+playing triumphant music on his concertina, more
+Camp-followers, the Respectable Gentleman, the Scout,
+the Wild Man, yet more Camp-followers, the Merchant,
+and, last of all, preceded by the graceful Triplets, came
+the proud and glad old King himself, wheeled in
+great state by the faithful Boadicea, and guarded by
+the principal policeman of Troutpeg. The nine stout
+sons of Crispin, together with the remaining children,
+formed a guard of honour, extending from the city
+gates as far as the front door of the Palace, into which
+the excited and Royal old creature entered at last
+amid the cheers of his gallant followers.</p>
+
+<p>His first act was to release the King of Persia, and
+after accepting very graciously his humble and sincere
+apologies for his unkindness, the clement old fellow
+gave him a good breakfast and packed him off to
+Persia. In a like kindly manner he treated the
+courtiers, after they had all suitably begged his pardon;
+and the inhabitants, who came trooping back as soon
+as they heard how graciously the rightful King was
+behaving, one and all clamoured to shake the delighted
+old monarch by the hand and pay their homage
+to him.</p>
+
+<p>Thus, after all his trials and privations, this Royal
+and kindly creature was restored to his throne. The
+crown was done up and beautifully polished, and the
+old King once more crowned in great state. To show
+his gratitude to his brave and faithful followers he<!-- Page 253 --><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_253" id="Page_253">[Pg 253]</a></span>
+appointed them all (with the exception of the Triplets,
+who soon returned to Blowdripping) to places of
+honour in his court. Thus:&mdash;</p>
+
+<div class="center">
+<table border="0" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" summary="">
+<tr><td align="left"><span class="smcap">Bill</span>,</td><td align="left">Commander-in-chief of the Army.</td></tr>
+<tr><td align="left"><span class="smcap">The Real Soldier</span>,</td><td align="left">General under Bill.</td></tr>
+<tr><td align="left"><span class="smcap">The Scout</span>,</td><td align="left">Officer of the Army.</td></tr>
+<tr><td align="left"><span class="smcap">Nine Sons of Crispin</span>,</td><td align="left">Bodyguard to the King.</td></tr>
+<tr><td align="left"><span class="smcap">The Camp-Followers and others</span></td><td align="left">The Army.</td></tr>
+<tr><td align="left"><span class="smcap">Boadicea</span>,</td><td align="left">Royal Housekeeper.</td></tr>
+<tr><td align="left"><span class="smcap">Ancient Mariner</span>,</td><td align="left">Admiral of the Fleet.</td></tr>
+<tr><td align="left"><span class="smcap">Sicilian Char-woman</span>,</td><td align="left">Head Char-woman to Royal Household.</td></tr>
+<tr><td align="left"><span class="smcap">The Merchant's Wife</span>,</td><td align="left">Superintendent of the Prison.</td></tr>
+<tr><td align="left"><span class="smcap">The Doctor</span>,</td><td align="left">Court Physician.</td></tr>
+<tr><td align="left"><span class="smcap">Ptolemy Jenkinson</span>,</td><td align="left">King's Valet.</td></tr>
+<tr><td align="left"><span class="smcap">Respectable Gentleman</span>,</td><td align="left">Master of Good Behaviour to the Royal Household.</td></tr>
+<tr><td align="left"><span class="smcap">Long Man</span>,</td><td align="left">Hall Porter at Royal Palace.</td></tr>
+<tr><td align="left"><span class="smcap">Musician</span>,</td><td align="left">Court Musician.</td></tr>
+<tr><td align="left"><span class="smcap">Wild Man</span>,</td><td align="left">Park Keeper.</td></tr>
+<tr><td align="left"><span class="smcap">Policeman</span>,</td><td align="left">Preserver of the Peace.</td></tr>
+</table></div>
+
+<hr />
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 400px;">
+<a href="images/i_332.jpg"><img src="images/i_332_tn.jpg" width="400" height="297" alt="" title="" /></a>
+<span class="caption">TROY BECAME THE HAPPIEST TOWN</span>
+</div>
+
+<p><!-- Page 254 --><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_254" id="Page_254">[Pg 254]</a></span></p>
+<p>With such a gallant court and brave army around
+him the dear old man was saved from further troubles
+in his State during the remainder of his long and
+happy reign. In fact Troy became the very happiest
+town in the world, and the old King's noble followers
+were so contented with their lot that they never again
+left the city of Troy.</p>
+
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<p><!-- Page 255 --><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_255" id="Page_255">[Pg 255]</a></span></p>
+<h2>THE END</h2>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 291px;">
+<a href="images/i_334.jpg"><img src="images/i_334_tn.jpg" width="291" height="400" alt="" title="THE END" /></a>
+</div>
+<p><!-- Page 256 --><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_256" id="Page_256">[Pg 256]</a></span></p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 190px;">
+<a href="images/i_335.jpg"><img src="images/i_335_tn.jpg" width="190" height="400" alt="" title="VIGNETTE" /></a>
+</div>
+
+<div class="trans-note">
+<a name="TRANS_NOTES_2" id="TRANS_NOTES_2"></a><p class="center"><b>Transcriber's Notes</b></p>
+
+<p>The only intentional changes to the text were as follows where the following typographical or printer's errors were corrected:</p>
+
+<p>Page 25: deleted hyphen in 'cocoa-nut' (the slabs of cocoanut ice)</p>
+
+<p>Page 149: added missing quotation mark at end of the paragraph (...my great courage and astute generalship.')</p>
+
+<p>Page 247: Missing close single quote added (...to make just a little pudding for himself.')</p>
+</div>
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+<pre>
+
+
+
+
+
+End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Bill the Minder, by W. Heath Robinson
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+</body>
+</html>
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index 0000000..5a1d628
--- /dev/null
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diff --git a/33570-h/images/i_314_tn.jpg b/33570-h/images/i_314_tn.jpg
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index 0000000..a9e0f85
--- /dev/null
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diff --git a/33570-h/images/i_315.jpg b/33570-h/images/i_315.jpg
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index 0000000..21ffb15
--- /dev/null
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diff --git a/33570-h/images/i_315_tn.jpg b/33570-h/images/i_315_tn.jpg
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index 0000000..9be97bc
--- /dev/null
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diff --git a/33570-h/images/i_316.jpg b/33570-h/images/i_316.jpg
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index 0000000..7a7df05
--- /dev/null
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diff --git a/33570-h/images/i_316_tn.jpg b/33570-h/images/i_316_tn.jpg
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index 0000000..b291d97
--- /dev/null
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diff --git a/33570-h/images/i_317.jpg b/33570-h/images/i_317.jpg
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index 0000000..c4ea3a7
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diff --git a/33570-h/images/i_317_tn.jpg b/33570-h/images/i_317_tn.jpg
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diff --git a/33570-h/images/i_322.jpg b/33570-h/images/i_322.jpg
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index 0000000..1735751
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diff --git a/33570-h/images/i_322_tn.jpg b/33570-h/images/i_322_tn.jpg
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diff --git a/33570-h/images/i_324.jpg b/33570-h/images/i_324.jpg
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index 0000000..4920615
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diff --git a/33570-h/images/i_324_tn.jpg b/33570-h/images/i_324_tn.jpg
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diff --git a/33570-h/images/i_327.jpg b/33570-h/images/i_327.jpg
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diff --git a/33570-h/images/i_327_tn.jpg b/33570-h/images/i_327_tn.jpg
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diff --git a/33570-h/images/i_330.jpg b/33570-h/images/i_330.jpg
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diff --git a/33570-h/images/i_330_tn.jpg b/33570-h/images/i_330_tn.jpg
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index 0000000..636fb55
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diff --git a/33570-h/images/i_332_tn.jpg b/33570-h/images/i_332_tn.jpg
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diff --git a/33570-h/images/i_334.jpg b/33570-h/images/i_334.jpg
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diff --git a/33570-h/images/i_334_tn.jpg b/33570-h/images/i_334_tn.jpg
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--- /dev/null
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diff --git a/33570-h/images/i_335.jpg b/33570-h/images/i_335.jpg
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--- /dev/null
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diff --git a/33570-h/images/i_335_tn.jpg b/33570-h/images/i_335_tn.jpg
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diff --git a/33570-h/images/i_cover.jpg b/33570-h/images/i_cover.jpg
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diff --git a/33570-h/images/i_cover_tn.jpg b/33570-h/images/i_cover_tn.jpg
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