diff options
Diffstat (limited to '32692-8.txt')
| -rw-r--r-- | 32692-8.txt | 16207 |
1 files changed, 16207 insertions, 0 deletions
diff --git a/32692-8.txt b/32692-8.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..9e42146 --- /dev/null +++ b/32692-8.txt @@ -0,0 +1,16207 @@ +The Project Gutenberg EBook of A Day's Ride, by Charles James Lever + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: A Day's Ride + A Life's Romance + +Author: Charles James Lever + +Illustrator: W. Cubitt Cooke + +Release Date: June 4, 2010 [EBook #32692] + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ISO-8859-1 + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK A DAY'S RIDE *** + + + + +Produced by David Widger + + + + + +A DAY'S RIDE + +A LIFE'S ROMANCE + + +By Charles James Lever. + +With Illustrations By W. Cubitt Cooke. + +BOSTON: + +LITTLE, BROWN, AND COMPANY. + +1904. + + + + +A DAY'S RIDE: + +A LIFE'S ROMANCE. + + + +CHAPTER I. I PREPARE TO SEEK ADVENTURES + +It has been said that any man, no matter how small and insignificant the +post he may have filled in life, who will faithfully record the events +in which he has borne a share, even though incapable of himself deriving +profit from the lessons he has learned, may still be of use to +others,--sometimes a guide, sometimes a warning. I hope this is true. I +like to think it so, for I like to think that even I,--A. S. P.,--if I +cannot adorn a tale, may at least point a moral. + +Certain families are remarkable for the way in which peculiar gifts +have been transmitted for ages. Some have been great in arms, some in +letters, some in statecraft, displaying in successive generations the +same high qualities which had won their first renown. In an humble +fashion, I may lay claim to belong to this category. My ancestors have +been apothecaries for one hundred and forty-odd years. Joseph Potts, +"drug and condiment man," lived in the reign of Queen Anne, at Lower +Liffey Street, No. 87; and to be remembered passingly, has the name of +Mr. Addison amongst his clients,--the illustrious writer having, as it +would appear, a peculiar fondness for "Pott's linature," whatever that +may have been; for the secret died out with my distinguished forefather. +There was Michael Joseph Potts, "licensed for chemicals," in Mary's +Abbey, about thirty years later; and so we come on to Paul Potts and +Son, and then to Launcelot Peter Potts, "Pharmaceutical Chemist to his +Excellency and the Irish Court," the father of him who now bespeaks your +indulgence. + +My father's great misfortune in life was the ambition to rise above the +class his family had adorned for ages. He had, as he averred, a soul +above senna, and a destiny higher than black drop. He had heard of a +tailor's apprentice becoming a great general. He had himself seen a +wig-maker elevated to the woolsack; and he kept continually repeating, +"Mine is the only walk in life that leads to no high rewards. What +matters it whether my mixtures be addressed to the refined organization +of rank, or the _dura ilia rasorum?_--I shall live and die an +apothecary. From every class are men selected for honors save mine; and +though it should rain baronetcies, the bloody hand would never fall to +the lot of a compounding chemist." + +"What do you intend to make of Algernon Sydney, Mr. Potts?" would say +one of his neighbors. "Bring him up to your own business? A first-rate +connection to start with in life." + +"My own business, sir? I'd rather see him a chimneysweep." + +"But, after all, Mr. Potts, being so to say, at the head of your +profession--" + +"It is not a profession, sir. It is not even a trade. High science and +skill have long since left our insulted and outraged ranks; we are mere +commission agents for the sale of patent quackeries. What respect has +the world any longer for the great phials of ruby, and emerald, and +marine blue, which, at nightfall, were once the magical emblems of our +mysteries, seen afar through the dim mists of lowering atmospheres, or +throwing their lurid glare upon the passers-by? What man, now, would +have the courage to adorn his surgery--I suppose you would prefer I +should call it a 'shop'--with skeleton-fishes, snakes, or a stuffed +alligator? Who, in this age of chemical infidelity, would surmount his +door with the ancient symbols of our art,--the golden pestle and mortar? +Why, sir, I'd as soon go forth to apply leeches on a herald's tabard, or +a suit of Milan mail. And what have they done, sir?" he would ask, +with a roused indignation,--"what have they done by their reforms? In +invading the mystery of medicine, they have ruined its prestige. The +precious drops you once regarded as the essence of an elixir vitæ, +and whose efficacy lay in your faith, are now so much strychnine, or +creosote, which you take with fear and think over with foreboding." + +I suppose it can only be ascribed to that perversity which seems a +great element in human nature, that, exactly in the direct ratio of my +father's dislike to his profession was _my_ fondness for it. I used +to take every opportunity of stealing into the laboratory, watching +intently all the curious proceedings that went on there, learning +the names and properties of the various ingredients, the gases, the +minerals, the salts, the essences; and although, as may be imagined, +science took, in these narrow regions, none of her loftiest flights, +they were to me the most marvellous and high-soaring efforts of human +intelligence. I was just at that period of life--the first opening of +adolescence--when fiction and adventure have the strongest bold upon our +nature, my mind filled with the marvels of Eastern romance, and imbued +with a sentiment, strong as any conviction, that I was destined to a +remarkable life. I passed days in dreamland,--what I should do in this +or that emergency; how rescue myself from such a peril; how profit by +such a stroke of fortune; by what arts resist the machinations of this +adversary; how conciliate the kind favor of that. In the wonderful tales +that I read, frequent mention was made of alchemy and its marvels; +now the search was for some secret of endless wealth; now, it was for +undying youth or undecay-ing beauty; while in other stories I read of +men who had learned how to read the thoughts, trace the motives, and +ultimately sway the hearts of their fellow-men, till life became to them +a mere field for the exercise of their every will and caprice, throwing +happiness and misery about them as the humor inclined. The strange life +of the laboratory fitted itself exactly to this phase of my mind. + +The wonders it displayed, the endless combinations and transformations +it effected, were as marvellous as any that imaginative fiction could +devise; but even these were nothing compared to the mysterious influence +of the place itself upon my nervous system, particularly when I found +myself there alone. In the tales with which my head was filled, many +of them the wild fancies of Grimm, Hoffman, or Musæus, nothing was more +common than to read how some eager student of the black art, deep in the +mystery of forbidden knowledge, had, by some chance combination, by some +mere accidental admixture of this ingredient with that, suddenly arrived +at the great secret, that terrible mystery which for centuries and +centuries had evaded human search. How often have I watched the fluid as +it boiled and bubbled in the retort, till I thought the air globules, +as they came to the surface, observed a certain rhythm and order. Were +these, words? Were they symbols of some hidden virtue in the liquid? +Were there intelligences to whom these could speak, and thus reveal a +wondrous history? And then, again, with what an intense eagerness have +I gazed on the lurid smoke that arose from some smelting mass, now +fancying that the vapor was about to assume form and substance, and bow +imagining that it lingered lazily, as though waiting for some cabalistic +word of mine to give it life and being? How heartily did I censure +the folly that had ranked alchemy amongst the absurdities of human +invention! Why, rather, had not its facts been treasured and its +discoveries recorded, so that in some future age a great intelligence +arising might classify and arrange them, showing at least what were +practicable and what were only evasive. Alchemists were, certainly, +men of pure lives, self-denying and humble. They made their art no +stepping-stone to worldly advancement or success; they sought no favor +from princes, nor any popularity from the people; but, retired and +estranged from all the pleasures of the world, followed their one +pursuit, unnoticed and unfriended. How cruel, therefore, to drag them +forth from their lonely cells, and expose them to the gaping crowd as +devil worshippers! How inhuman to denounce men whose only crimes were +lives of solitude and study! The last words of Peter von Vordt, burned +for a wizard, at Haarlem, in 1306, were, "Had they left this poor head +a little longer on my shoulders, it would have done more for human +happiness than all this bonfire!" + +How rash and presumptuous is it, besides, to set down any fixed limits +to man's knowledge! Is not every age an advance upon its predecessors, +and are not the commonest acts of our present civilization perfect +miracles as compared with the usages of our ancestors? But why do I +linger on this theme, which I only introduced to illustrate the temper +of my boyish days? As I grew older, books of chivalry and romance took +possession of my mind, and my passion grew for lives of adventure. Of +all kinds of existence, none seemed to me so enviable as that of those +men who, regarding life as a vast ocean, hoisted sail, and set forth, +not knowing nor caring whither, but trusting to their own manly spirit +for extrication out of whatever difficulties might beset them. What a +narrow thing, after all, was our modern civilization, with all its forms +and conventionalities, with its gradations of rank and its orders! How +hopeless for the adventurous spirit to war with the stern discipline of +an age that marshalled men in ranks like soldiers, and told that each +could only rise by successive steps! How often have I wondered was there +any more of adventure left in life? Were there incidents in store for +him who, in the true spirit of an adventurer, should go in search of +them? As for the newer worlds of Australia and America, they did not +possess for me much charm. No great association linked them with the +past; no echo came out of them of that heroic time of feudalism, so +peopled with heart-stirring characters. The life of the bush or the +prairie had its incidents, but they were vulgar and commonplace; and +worse, the associates and companions of them were more vulgar still. +Hunting down Pawnees or buffaloes was as mean and ignoble a travesty +of feudal adventure as was the gold diggings at Bendigo of the learned +labors of the alchemist. The perils were unexciting, the rewards prosaic +and commonplace. No. I felt that Europe--in some remote regions--and the +East--in certain less visited tracts--must be the scenes best suited to +my hopes. With considerable labor I could spell my way through a German +romance, and I saw, in the stories of Fouqué, and even of Goethe, that +there still survived in the mind of Germany many of the features which +gave the color-ing to a feudal period. There was, at least, a dreamy +indifference to the present, a careless abandonment to what the hour +might bring forth, so long as the dreamer was left to follow out his +fancies in all their mysticism, that lifted men out of the vulgarities +of this work-o'-day world; and I longed to see a society where +learning consented to live upon the humblest pittance, and beauty dwelt +unflattered in obscurity. + +I was now entering upon manhood; and my father--having, with that +ambition so natural to an Irish parent who aspires highly for his only +son, destined me for the bar--made me a student of Trinity College, +Dublin. + +What a shock to all the romance of my life were the scenes into which I +now was thrown! With hundreds of companions to choose from, I found +not one congenial to me. The reading men, too deeply bent upon winning +honors, would not waste a thought upon what could not advance their +chances of success. The idle, only eager to get through their career +undetected in their ignorance, passed lives of wild excess or stupid +extravagance. + +What was I to do amongst such associates? What I did do,--avoid them, +shun them, live in utter estrangement from all their haunts, their +ways, and themselves. If the proud man who has achieved success in +life encounters immense difficulties when, separating himself from +his fellows, he acknowledges no companionship, nor admits any to his +confidence, it may be imagined what must be the situation of one who +adopts this isolation without any claim to superiority whatever. As can +easily be supposed, I was the butt of my fellow students, the subject of +many sarcasms and practical jokes. The whole of my Freshman year was a +martyrdom. I had no peace, was rhymed on by poetasters, caricatured by +draughtsmen, till the name of Potts became proverbial for all that was +eccentric, ridiculous, and absurd. + +Curran has said, "One can't draw an indictment against a nation;" in the +same spirit did I discover "one cannot fight his whole division." For a +while I believe I experienced a sort of heroism in my solitary state; +I felt the spirit of a Coriolanus in my heart, and muttered, "I banish +_you! _" but this self-supplied esteem did not last long, and I fell +into a settled melancholy. The horrible truth was gradually forcing its +way slowly, clearly, through the mists of my mind, that there might +be something in all this sarcasm, and I can remember to this hour, the +day--ay, and the very place--wherein the questions flashed across me: Is +my hair as limp, my nose as long, my back as arched, my eyes as green as +they have pictured them? Do I drawl so fearfully in my speech? Do I drag +my heavy feet along so ungracefully? Good heavens! have they possibly a +grain of fact to sustain all this fiction against me? + +And if so,--horrible thought,--am I the stuff to go forth and seek +adventures? Oh, the ineffable bitterness of this reflection! I remember +it in all its anguish, and even now, after years of such experience as +have befallen few men, I can recall the pain it cost me. While I was yet +in the paroxysm of that sorrow, which assured me that I was not made for +doughty deeds, nor to captivate some fair princess, I chanced to fall +upon a little German volume entitled "Wald Wandelungen und Abentheure," +von Heinrich Stebbe. Forest rambles and adventures, and of a student, +too! for so Herr Stebbe announces himself, in a short introduction to +the reader. I am not going into any account of his book. It is in +Voss's Leipzig Catalogue, and not unworthy of perusal by those who are +sufficiently imbued with Germanism to accept the changeful moods of a +mystical mind, with all its visionary glimpses of light and shade, its +doubts, fears, hopes, and fancies, in lieu of real incidents and actual +events. Of adventures, properly speaking, he had none. The people he +met, the scenes in which he bore his part, were as commonplace as +need be. The whole narrative never soared above that bread and butter +life--Butter-brod Leben--which Germany accepts as romance; but, +meanwhile, the reflex of whatever passed around him in the narrator's +own mind was amusing; so ingeniously did he contrive to interweave the +imaginary with the actual, throwing over the most ordinary pictures +of life a sort of hazy indistinctness,--meet atmosphere for mystical +creation. + +If I did not always sympathize with him in his brain-wrought wanderings, +I never ceased to take pleasure in his description of scenery, and +the heartfelt delight he experienced in Journeying through a world so +beautiful and so varied. There was also a little woodcut frontispiece +which took my fancy much, representing him as he stood leaning on his +horse's mane, gazing rapturously on the Elbe, from one of the cliffs off +the Saxon Switzerland. How peaceful he looked, with his long hair waving +gracefully on his neck, and his large soft eyes turned on the scene +beneath him I His clasped hands, as they lay on the horse's mane, +imparted a sort of repose, too, that seemed to say, "I could linger here +ever so long." Nor was the horse itself without a significance in the +picture; he was a long-maned, long-tailed, patient-looking beast, well +befitting an enthusiast, who doubtless took but little heed of how he +went or where. If his lazy eye denoted lethargy, his broad feet and +short legs vouched for his sure-footedness. + +Why should not I follow Stebbe's example? Surely there was nothing too +exalted or extravagant in his plan of life. It was simply to see the +world as it was, with the aid of such combinations as a fertile fancy +could contribute; not to distort events, but to arrange them, Just as +the landscape painter in the license of his craft moves that massive +rock more to the foreground, and throws that stone pine a little further +to the left of his canvas. There was, indeed, nothing to prevent my +trying the experiment Ireland was not less rich in picturesque scenery +than Germany, and if she boasted no such mighty stream as the Elbe, the +banks of the Blackwater and the Nore were still full of woodland beauty; +and, then, there was lake scenery unrivalled throughout Europe. + +I turned to Stebbe's narrative for details of his outfit. His horse be +bought at Nordheim for two hundred and forty gulden,--about ten pounds; +his saddle and knapsack cost him a little more than forty shillings; +with his map, guide-book, compass, and some little extras, all were +comprised within twenty pounds sterling,--surely not too costly an +equipage for one who was adventuring on a sea wide as the world itself. + +As _my_ trial was a mere experiment, to be essayed on the most limited +scale, I resolved not to buy, but only hire a horse, taking him by the +day, so that if any change of mind or purpose supervened I should not +find myself in any embarrassment. + +A fond uncle had just left me a legacy of a hundred pounds, which, +besides, was the season of the long vacation; thus did everything +combine to favor the easy execution of a plan which I determined +forthwith to put into practice. + +"Something quiet and easy to ride, sir, you said?" repeated Mr. Dycer +after me, as I entered his great establishment for the sale and hire of +horses. "Show the gentleman four hundred and twelve." + +"Oh, Heaven forbid!" I exclaimed, in ignorance; "such a number would +only confuse me." + +"You mistake me, sir," blandly interposed the dealer; "I meant the horse +that stands at that number. Lead him out, Tim. He 's gentle as a lamb, +sir, and, if you find he suits you, can be had for a song,--I mean a ten +pound note." + +"Has he a long mane and tail?" I asked, eagerly. + +"The longest tail and the fullest mane I ever saw. But here he comes." +And with the word, there advanced towards us, at a sort of easy amble, +a small-sized cream-colored horse, with white mane and tail. Knowing +nothing of horseflesh, I was fain to content myself with such +observations as other studies might supply me with; and so I closely +examined his head, which was largely developed in the frontal region, +with moral qualities fairly displayed. He had memory large, and +individuality strong; nor was wit, if it exist in the race, deficient +Over the orbital region the depressions were deep enough to contain my +closed fist, and when I remarked upon them to the groom, he said, "'T +is his teeth will tell you the rayson of that;" a remark which I suspect +was a sarcasm upon my general ignorance. + +I liked the creature's eye. It was soft, mild, and contemplative; and +although not remarkable for brilliancy, possessed a subdued lustre that +promised well for temper and disposition. + +"Ten shillings a day,--make it three half-crowns by the week, sir. +You 'll never hit upon the like of him again," said the dealer, +hurriedly, as he passed me, on his other avocations. + +"Better not lose him, sir; he's well known at Batty's, and they 'll +have him in the circus again if they see him. Wish you saw him with his +fore-legs on a table, ringing the bell for his breakfast.*' + +"I'll take him by the week, though, probably, a day or two will be all I +shall need." + +"Four hundred and twelve for Mr. Potts," Dycer screamed out. "Shoes +removed, and to be ready in the morning." + + + + +CHAPTER II. BLONDEL AND I SET OUT + +I had heard and read frequently of the exhilarating sensations of horse +exercise. My fellow-students were full of stories of the hunting-field +and the race-course. Wherever, indeed, a horse figured in a narrative, +there was an almost certainty of meeting some incident to stir the +blood and warm up enthusiasm. Even the passing glimpses one caught of +sporting-prints in shop-windows were suggestive of the pleasure imparted +by a noble and chivalrous pastime. I never closed my eyes all night, +revolving such thoughts in my head. I had so worked up my enthusiasm +that I felt like one who is about to cross the frontier of some new land +where people, language, ways, and habits are all unknown to him. "By +this hour to-morrow night," thought I, "I shall be in the land of +strangers, who have never seen, nor so much as heard of me. There will +invade no traditions of the scoffs and jibes I have so long endured; +none will have received the disparaging estimate of my abilities, which +my class-fellows love to propagate; I shall simply be the traveller +who arrived at sundown mounted on a cream-colored palfrey,--a stranger, +sad-looking, but gentle, withal, of courteous address, blandly demanding +lodging for the night. 'Look to my horse, ostler,' shall I say, as I +enter the honeysuckle-covered porch of the inn. 'Blondel'--I will call +him Blondel--'is accustomed to kindly usage.'" With what quiet dignity, +the repose of a conscious position, do I follow the landlord as he shows +me to my room. It is humble, but neat and orderly. I am contented. I +tell him so. I am sated and wearied of luxury; sick of a gilded and +glittering existence. I am in search of repose and solitude. I order my +tea; and, if I ask the name of the village, I take care to show by my +inattention that I have not heard the answer, nor do I care for it. + +Now I should like to hear how they are canvassing me in the bar, and +what they think of me in the stable. I am, doubtless, a peer, or a +peer's eldest son. I am a great writer, the wondrous poet of the day; or +the pre-Raphaelite artist; or I am a youth heart-broken by infidelity in +love; or, mayhap, a dreadful criminal. I liked this last the best, the +interest was so intense; not to say that there is, to men who are not +constitutionally courageous, a strong pleasure in being able to excite +terror in others. + +But I hear a horse's feet on the silent street. I look out Day is just +breaking. Tim is holding Blondel at the door. My hour of adventure has +struck, and noiselessly descending the stairs, I issue forth. + +"He is a trifle tender on the fore-feet, your honor," said Tim, as I +mounted; "but when you get him off the stones on a nice piece of soft +road, he 'll go like a four-year-old." + +"But he _is_ young, Tim, isn't he?" I asked, as I tendered him my +half-crown. + +"Well, not to tell your honor a lie, he is not," said Tim, with the +energy of a man whose veracity had cost him little less than a spasm. + +"How old would you call him, then?" I asked, in that affected ease that +seemed to say, "Not that it matters to me if he were Methuselah." + +"I could n't come to his age exactly, your honor," he replied, "but I +remember seeing him fifteen years ago, dancing a hornpipe, more by token +for his own benefit; it was at Cooke's Circus, in Abbey Street, and +there wasn't a hair's difference between him now and then, except, +perhaps, that he had a star on the forehead, where you just see the mark +a little darker now." + +"But that is a star, plain enough," said I, half vexed. + +"Well, it is, and it is not," muttered Tim, doggedly, for he was not +quite satisfied with my right to disagree with him. + +"He's gentle, at all events?" I said, more confidently. + +"He's a lamb!" replied Tim. "If you were to see the way he lets the +Turks run over his back, when he's wounded in Timour the Tartar, you +wouldn't believe he was a livin' baste." + +"Poor fellow!" said I, caressing him. He turned his mild eye upon me, +and we were friends from that hour. + +What a glorious morning it was, as I gained the outskirts of the city, +and entered one of those shady alleys that lead to the foot of the +Dublin mountains! The birds were opening their morning hymn, and the +earth, still fresh from the night dew, sent up a thousand delicious +perfumes. The road on either side was one succession of handsome villas +or ornamental cottages, whose grounds were laid out in the perfection of +landscape gardening. There were but few persons to be seen at that early +hour, and in the smokeless chimneys and closed shutters I could read +that all slept,--slept in that luxurious hour when Nature unveils, and +seems to revel in the sense of unregarded loveliness. "Ah, Potts," said +I, "thou hast chosen the wiser part; thou wilt see the world after thine +own guise, and not as others see it." Has my reader not often noticed +that in a picture-gallery the slightest change of place, a move to +the left or right, a chance approach or retreat, suffices to make what +seemed a hazy confusion of color and gloss a rich and beautiful picture? +So is it in the actual world, and just as much depends on the point +from which objects are viewed. Do not be discouraged, then, by the dark +aspects of events. It may be that by the slightest move to this side or +to that, some unlooked-for sunlight shall slant down and light up all +the scene. Thus musing, I gained a little grassy strip that ran along +the roadside, and, gently touching Blonde! with my heel, he broke out +into a delightful canter. The motion, so easy and swimming, made it a +perfect ecstasy to sit there floating at will through the thin air, with +a moving panorama of wood, water, and mountain around me. + +Emerging at length from the thickly wooded plain, I began the ascent of +the Three Rock Mountain, and, in my slackened speed, had full time to +gaze upon the bay beneath me, broken with many a promontory, backed by +the broad bluff of Howth, and the more distant Lambay. No, it is _not_ +finer than Naples. I did not say it was; but, seeing it as I then saw +it, I thought it could not be surpassed. Indeed, I went further, and +defied Naples in this fashion:-- + + "Though no volcano's lurid light + Over thy bine sea steals along, + Nor Pescator beguiles the night + With cadence of his simple song; + + "Though none of dark Calabria's daughters + With tinkling lute thy echoes wake, + Mingling their voices with the waters, + As 'neath the prow the ripples break; + + "Although no cliffs with myrtle crown'd, + Reflected in thy tide, are seen, + Nor olives, bending to the ground, + Relieve the laurel's darker green; + + "Yet--yet--" + +Ah, there was the difficulty,--I had begun with the plaintiff, and +I really had n't a word to say for the defendant; and so, voting +comparisons odious, I set forward on my journey. + +As I rode into Enniskerry to breakfast, I had the satisfaction of +overhearing some very flattering comments upon Blondel, which rather +consoled me for some less laudatory remarks upon my own horsemanship. By +the way, can there possibly be a more ignorant sarcasm than to say a +man rides like a tailor? Why, of all trades, who so constantly sits +straddle-legged as a tailor? and yet he is especial mark of this +impertinence. + +I pushed briskly on after breakfast, and soon found myself in the deep +shady woods that lead to the Dargle. I hurried through the picturesque +demesne, associated as it was with a thousand little vulgar incidents +of city junketings, and rode on for the Glen of the Downs. Blondel and +I had now established a most admirable understanding with each other. +It was a sort of reciprocity by which I bound myself never to control +_him_, he in turn consenting not to unseat _me_. He gave the initiative +to the system, by setting off at his pleasant little rocking canter +whenever he chanced upon a bit of favorable ground, and invariably +pulled up when the road was stony or uneven; thus showing me that he was +a beast with what Lord Brougham would call "a wise discretion." In like +manner he would halt to pluck any stray ears of wild oats that grew +along the hedge sides, and occasionally slake his thirst at convenient +streamlets. If I dismounted to walk at his side, he moved along unheld, +his head almost touching my elbow, and his plaintive blue eye mildly +beaming on me with an expression that almost spoke,--nay, it did speak. +I 'm sure I felt it, as though I could swear to it, whispering, "Yes, +Potts, two more friendless creatures than ourselves are not easy to +find. The world wants not either of us; not that we abuse it, despise +it, or treat it ungenerously,--rather the reverse, we incline favorably +towards it, and would, occasion serving, befriend it; but we are not, +so to say, 'of it.' There may be, here and there, a man or a horse that +would understand or appreciate us, but they stand alone,--they are not +belonging to classes. They are, like ourselves, exceptional." If his +expression said this much, there was much unspoken melancholy in his sad +glance, also, which seemed to say, "What a deal of sorrow could I reveal +if I might!--what injuries, what wrong, what cruel misconceptions of +my nature and disposition, what mistaken notions of my character and +intentions! What pretentious stupidity, too, have I seen preferred +before me,--creatures with, mayhap, a glossier coat or a more silky +forelock--" "Ah, Blondel, take courage,--men are just as ungenerous, +just as erring!" "Not that I have not had my triumphs, too," he seemed +to say, as, cocking his ears, and ambling with a more elevated toss +of the head, his tail would describe an arch like a waterfall; "no +salmon-colored silk stockings danced sarabands on _my_ back; I was +always ridden in the Haute École by Monsieur l'Etrier himself, the +stately gentleman in jackboots and long-waisted dress-coat, whose five +minutes no persuasive bravos could ever prolong." I thought--nay, I was +certain at times--that I could read in his thoughtful face the painful +sorrows of one who had outlived popular favor, and who had survived to +see himself supplanted and dethroned. + +There are no two destinies which chime in so well together as that of +him who is beaten down by sheer distrust of himself, and that of the +man who has seen better days. Although the one be just entering on life, +while the other is going out of it, if they meet on the threshold, +they stop to form a friendship. Now, though Blondel was not a man, he +supplied to my friendlessness the place of one. + +The sun was near its setting, as I rode down the little hill into the +village of Ashford, a picturesque little spot in the midst of mountains, +and with a bright clear stream bounding through it, as fearlessly as +though in all the liberty of open country. I tried to make my entrance +what stage people call effective. I threw myself, albeit a little jaded, +into an attitude of easy indifference, slouched my hat to one side, and +suffered the sprig of laburnum, with which I had adorned it, to droop in +graceful guise over one shoulder. The villagers stared; some saluted me; +and taken, perhaps, by the cool acquiescence of my manner, as I returned +the courtesy, seemed well disposed to believe me of some note. + +I rode into the little stable-yard of the "Lamb" and dismounted. I +gave up my horse, and walked into the inn. I don't know how others feel +it,--I greatly doubt if they will have the honesty to tell,--but for +myself, I confess that I never entered an inn or an hotel without a +most uncomfortable conflict within: a struggle made up of two very +antagonistic impulses,--the wish to seem something important, and a +lively terror lest the pretence should turn out to be costly. Thus +swayed by opposing motives, I sought a compromise by assuming that I +was incog.; for the present a nobody, to be treated without any +marked attention, and to whom the acme of respect would be a seeming +indifference. + +"What is your village called?" I said, carelessly, to the waiter, as he +laid the cloth. + +"Ashford, your honor. 'T is down in all the books," answered the waiter. + +"Is it noted for anything, or is there anything remarkable in the +neighborhood?" + +"Indeed, there is, sir, and plenty. There's Glenmalure and the Devil's +Glen; and there's Mr. Snow Malone's place, that everybody goes to see: +and there's the fishing of Doyle's river,--trout, eight, nine, maybe +twelve, pounds' weight; and there's Mr. Reeve's cottage--a Swiss cottage +belike--at Kinmacreedy; but, to be sure, there must be an order for +that!" + +"I never take much trouble," I said indolently. "Who have you got in the +house at present?" + +"There's young Lord Keldrum, sir, and two more with him, for the +fishing; and the next room to you here, there's Father Dyke, from +Inistioge, and he's going, by the same token, to dine with the Lord +to-day." + +"Don't mention to his Lordship that I am here," said I, hastily. "I +desire to be quite unknown down here." The waiter promised obedience, +without vouchsafing any misgivings as to the possibility of his +disclosing what he did not know. + +To his question as to my dinner, I carelessly said, as if I were in +a West-end club, "Never mind soup,--a little fish,--a cutlet and a +partridge. Or order it yourself,--I am indifferent." The waiter had +scarcely left the room when I was startled by the sound of voices +so close to me as to seem at my side. They came from a little wooden +balcony to the adjoining room, which, by its pretentious bow-window, +I recognized to be the state apartment of the inn, and now in the +possession of Lord Keldrum and his party. They were talking away in that +gay, rattling, discursive fashion very young men do amongst each other, +and discussed fishing-flies, the neighboring gentlemen's seats, and the +landlady's niece. + +"By the way, Kel," cried one, "it was in your visit to the bar that you +met your priest, was n't it?" + +"Yes; I offered him a cigar, and we began to chat together, and so I +asked him to dine with us to-day." + +"And he refused?" + +"Yes; but he has since changed his mind, and sent a message to say he +'ll be with us at eight". + +"I should like to see your father's face, Kel, when he heard of your +entertaining the Reverend Father Dyke at dinner." + +"Well, I suppose he would say it was carrying conciliation a little too +far; but as the adage says, _À la guerre_--" + +At this juncture, another burst in amongst them, calling out, +"You 'd never guess who 's just arrived here, in strict incog., and +having bribed Mike, the waiter, to silence. Burgoyne!" + +"Not Jack Burgoyne?" + +"Jack himself. I had the portrait so correctly drawn by the waiter, +that there's no mistaking him; the long hair, green complexion, sheepish +look, all perfect. He came on a hack, a little cream-colored pad he got +at Dycer's, and fancies he's quite unknown." + +"What _can_ he be up to now?" + +"I think I have it," said his Lordship. "Courtenay has got two +three-year-olds down here at his uncle's, one of them under heavy +engagements for the spring meetings. Master Jack has taken a run down to +have a look at them." + +"By Jove, Kel, you 're right! he's always wide awake, and that stupid +leaden-eyed look he has, has done him good service in the world." + +"I say, old Oxley, shall we dash in and unearth him? Or shall we let him +fancy that we know nothing of his being here at all?" + +"What does Hammond say?" + +"I'd say, leave him to himself," replied a deep voice; "you can't go and +see him without asking him to dinner; and he 'll walk into us after, do +what we will." + +"Not, surely, if we don't play," said Oxley. + +"Would n't he, though? Why, he 'd screw a bet out of a bishop." + +"I 'd do with him as Tomkinson did," said his Lordship; "he had him down +at his lodge in Scotland, and bet him fifty pounds that he could +n't pass a week without a wager. Jack booked the bet and won it, and +Tomkinson franked the company." + +"What an artful villain my counterpart must be!" I said. I stared in the +glass to see if I could discover the sheepish-ness they laid such +stress on. I was pale, to be sure, and my hair a light brown, but so was +Shelley's; indeed, there was a wild, but soft expression in my eyes that +resembled his, and I could recognize many things in our natures +that seemed to correspond. It was the poetic dreaminess, the lofty +abstractedness from all the petty cares of every-day life which vulgar +people set down as simplicity; and thus,-- + + "The soaring thoughts that reached the stare, + Seemed ignorance to them." + +As I uttered the consolatory lines, I felt two hands firmly pressed over +my eyes, while a friendly voice called out, "Found out, old fellow! run +fairly to earth!" "Ask him if he knows you," whispered another, but in a +voice I could catch. + +"Who am I, Jack?" cried the first speaker. + +"Situated as I now am," I replied, "I am unable to pronounce; but of one +thing I am assured,--I am certain I am not called Jack." + +The slow and measured intonation of my voice seemed to electrify them, +for my captor relinquished his hold and fell back, while the two others, +after a few seconds of blank surprise, burst into a roar of laughter; a +sentiment which the other could not refrain from, while he struggled to +mutter some words of apology. + +"Perhaps I can explain your mistake," I said blandly; "I am supposed to +be extremely like the Prince of Salms Hökinshauven--" + +"No, no!" burst in Lord Keldrum, whose voice I recognized, "we never saw +the Prince. The blunder of the waiter led us into this embarrassment; we +fancied you were--" + +"Mr. Burgoyne," I chimed in. + +"Exactly,--Jack Burgoyne; but you're not a bit like him." + +"Strange, then; but I'm constantly mistaken for him; and when in London, +I 'm actually persecuted by people calling out, 'When did you come up, +Jack?' 'Where do you hang out?' 'How long do you stay?' 'Dine with +me to-day--to-morrow--Saturday?' and so on; and although, as I have +remarked, these are only so many embarrassments for me, they all show +how popular must be my prototype." I had purposely made this speech of +mine a little long, for I saw by the disconcerted looks of the party +that they did not see how to wind up "the situation," and, like all +awkward men, I grew garrulous where I ought to have been silent. While +I rambled on, Lord Keldrum exchanged a word or two with one of his +friends; and as I finished, he turned towards me, and, with an air of +much courtesy, said,-- + +"We owe you every apology for this intrusion, and hope you will pardon +it; there is, however, but one way in which we can certainly feel +assured that we have your forgiveness,--that is, by your joining us. I +see that your dinner is in preparation, so pray let me countermand it, +and say that you are our guest." + +"Lord Keldrum," said one of the party, presenting the speaker; "my name +is Hammond, and this is Captain Oxley, Coldstream Guards." + +I saw that this move required an exchange of ratifications, and so I +bowed, and said, "Algernon Sydney Potts." + +"There are Staffordshire Pottses?" + +"No relation," I said stiffly. It was Hammond who made the remark, and +with a sneering manner that I could not abide. + +"Well, Mr. Potts, it is agreed," said Lord Keldrum, with his peculiar +urbanity, "we shall see you at eight No dressing. You'll find us in this +fishing-costume you see now." + +I trust my reader, who has dined out any day he pleased and in any +society he has liked these years past, will forgive me if I do not enter +into any detailed account of my reasons for accepting this invitation. +Enough if I freely own that to me, A. S. Potts, such an unexpected honor +was about the same surprise as if I had been announced governor of a +colony, or bishop in a new settlement. + +"At eight sharp, Mr. Potts." + +"The next door down the passage." + +"Just as you are, remember!" were the three parting admonitions with +which they left me. + + + + +CHAPTER III. TRUTH NOT ALWAYS IN WINE + +Who has not experienced the charm of the first time in his life, when +totally removed from all the accidents of his station, the circumstance +of his fortune, and his other belongings, he has taken his place +amongst perfect strangers, and been estimated by the claims of his own +individuality? Is it not this which gives the almost ecstasy of our +first tour,--our first journey? There are none to say, "Who is this +Potts that gives himself these airs?" "What pretension has he to say +this, or order that?" "What would old Peter say if he saw his son +to-day?" with all the other "What has the world come tos?" and "What are +we to see nexts?" I say it is with a glorious sense of independence that +one sees himself emancipated from all these restraints, and recognizes +his freedom to be that which nature has made him. + +As I sat on Lord Keldrum's left,--Father Dyke was on his right,--was I +in any real quality other than I ever am? Was my nature different, my +voice, my manner, my social tone, as I received all the bland attentions +of my courteous host? And yet, in my heart of hearts, I felt that if +it were known to that polite company I was the son of Peter Potts, +'pothecary, all my conversational courage would have failed me. I would +not have dared to assert fifty things I now declared, nor vouched for a +hundred that I as assuredly guaranteed. If I had had to carry about me +traditions of the shop in Mary's Abbey, the laboratory, and the rest of +it, how could I have had the nerve to discuss any of the topics on which +I now pronounced so authoritatively? And yet, these were all accidents +of my existence,--no more me than was the color of _his_ whiskers mine +who vaccinated me for cow-pock. The man Potts was himself through all; +he was neither compounded of senna and salts, nor amalgamated +with sarsaparilla and the acids; but by the cruel laws of a harsh +conventionality it was decreed otherwise, and the trade of the father +descends to the son in every estimate of all he does and says and +thinks. The converse of the proposition I was now to feel in the success +I obtained in this company. I was as the Germans would say, "Der Herr +Potts selbst, nicht nach seinen Begebenheiten"--the man Potts, not the +creature of his belongings. + +The man thus freed from his "antecedents," and owning no "relatives," +feels like one to whom a great, a most unlimited, credit has been +opened, in matter of opinion. Not reduced to fashion his sentiments by +some supposed standard becoming his station, he roams at will over the +broad prairie of life, enough if he can show cause why he says this or +thinks that, without having to defend himself for his parentage, and the +place he was born in. Little wonder if, with such a sum to my credit, +I drew largely on it; little wonder if I were dogmatical and +demonstrative; little wonder if, when my reason grew wearied with facts, +I reposed on my imagination in fiction. + +Be it remembered, however, that I only became what I have set down here +after an excellent dinner, a considerable quantity of champagne, and no +small share of claret, strong-bodied enough to please the priest. From +the moment we sat down to table, I conceived for him a sort of distrust. +He was painfully polite and civil; he had a soft, slippery, Clare +accent; but there was a malicious twinkle in his eye that showed he was +by nature satirical. Perhaps because we were more reading men than the +others that it was we soon found ourselves pitted against each other +in argument, and this not upon one, but upon every possible topic that +turned up. Hammond, I found, also stood by the priest; Oxley was _my_ +backer; and his Lordship played umpire. Dyke was a shrewd, sarcastic dog +in his way, but he had no chance with me. How mercilessly I treated his +church!--he pushed me to it,--what an _exposé_ did I make of the +Pope and his government, with all their extortions and cruelties! how +ruthlessly I showed them up as the sworn enemies of all freedom and +enlightenment! The priest never got angry. He was too cunning for that, +and he even laughed at some of my anecdotes, of which I related a great +many. + +"Don't be so hard on him, Potts," whispered my Lord, as the day wore on; +"he 's not one of us, you know!" + +This speech put me into a flutter of delight. It was not alone that he +called me Potts, but there was also an acceptance of me as one of +hier own set. We were, in fact, henceforth _nous autres_. Enchanting +recognition, never to be forgotten! + +"But what would you do with us?" said Dyke, mildly remonstrating against +some severe measures we of the landed interest might be yet driven to +resort to. + +"I don't know,--that is to say,--I have not made up my mind whether it +were better to make a clearance of you altogether, or to bribe you." + +"Bribe us by all means, then!" said he, with a most serious earnestness. + +"Ah! but could we rely upon you?" I asked. + +"That would greatly depend upon the price." + +"I 'll not haggle about terms, nor I 'm sure would Keldrum," said I, +nodding over to his Lordship. + +"You are only just to me, in that," said he, smiling. + +"That's all fine talking for you fellows who had the luck to be first +on the list, but what are poor devils like Oxley and myself to do?" said +Hammond. "Taxation comes down to second sons." + +"And the 'Times' says that's all right," added Oxley. + +"And I say it's all wrong; and I say more," I broke in: "I say that of +all the tyrannies of Europe, I know of none like that newspaper. Why, +sir, whose station, I would ask, nowadays, can exempt him from its +impertinent criticisms? Can Keldrum say--can I say--that to-morrow or +next day we shall not be arraigned for this, that, or t'other? I choose, +for instance, to manage my estate,--the property that has been in my +family for centuries,--the acres that have descended to us by grants +as old as Magna Charta. I desire, for reasons that seem sufficient to +myself, to convert arable into grass land. I say to one of my tenant +farmers--it's Hedgeworth--no matter, I shall not mention names, but I +say to him--" + +"I know the man," broke in the priest; "you mean Hedgeworth Davis, of +Mount Davis." + +"No, sir, I do not," said I, angrily, for I resented this attempt to run +me to earth. + +"Hedgeworth! Hedgeworth! It ain't that fellow that was in the Rifles; +the 2d battalion, is it?" said Ozley. + +"I repeat," said I, "that I will mention no names." + +"My mother had some relatives Hedgeworths, they were from Herefordshire. +How odd, Potts, if we should turn out to be connections! You said that +these people were related to you." + +"I hope," I said angrily, "that I am not bound to give the birth, +parentage, and education of every man whose name I may mention in +conversation. At least, I would protest that I have not prepared myself +for such a demand upon my memory." + +"Of course not, Potts. It would be a test no man could submit to," said +his Lordship. + +"That Hedgeworth, who was in the Rifles, exceeded all the fellows I ever +met in drawing the long bow. There was no country he had not been in, no +army he had not served with; he was related to every celebrated man in +Europe; and, after all, it turned out that his father was an attorney +at Market Harborough, and sub-agent to one of our fellows who had some +property there." This was said by Hammond, who directed the speech +entirely to me. + +"Confound the Hedgeworths, all together," Ozley broke in. "They have +carried us miles away from what we were talking of." + +This was a sentiment that met my heartiest concurrence, and I nodded +in friendly recognition to the speaker, and drank off my glass to his +health. + +"Who can give us a song? I 'll back his reverence here to be a +vocalist," cried Hammond. And sure enough, Dyke sang one of the national +melodies with great feeling and taste. Ozley followed with something +in less perfect taste, and we all grew very jolly. Then there came a +broiled bone and some devilled kidneys, and a warm brew which Hammond +himself concocted,--a most insidious liquor, which had a strong odor of +lemons, and was compounded, at the same time, of little else than rum +and sugar. + +There is an adage that says "in vino Veritas," which I shrewdly suspect +to be a great fallacy; at least, as regards my own case, I know it to be +totally inapplicable. I am in my sober hours--and I am proud to say that +the exceptions from such are of the rarest--one of the most veracious +of mortals; indeed, in my frank sincerity, I have often given offence +to those who like a courteous hypocrisy better than an ungraceful truth. +Whenever by any chance it has been my ill-fortune to transgress these +limits, there is no bound to my imagination. There is nothing too +extravagant or too vainglorious for me to say of myself. All the strange +incidents of romance that I have read, all the travellers' stories, +newspaper accidents, adventures by sea and land, wonderful coincidences, +unexpected turns of fortune, I adapt to myself, and coolly relate +them as personal experiences. Listeners have afterwards told me that I +possess an amount of consistence, a verisimilitude in these narratives +perfectly marvellous, and only to be accounted for by supposing that +I myself must, for the time being, be the dupe of my own imagination. +Indeed, I am sure such must be the true explanation of this curious +fact. How, in any other mode, explain the rash wagers, absurd and +impossible engagements I have contracted in such moments, backing myself +to leap twenty-three feet on the level sward; to dive in six fathoms +water, and fetch up Heaven knows what of shells and marine curiosities +from the bottom; to ride the most unmanageable of horses; and, +single-handed and unarmed, to fight the fiercest bulldog in England? +Then, as to intellectual feats, what have I not engaged to perform? Sums +of mental arithmetic; whole newspapers committed to memory after one +reading; verse compositions, on any theme, in ten languages; and once a +written contract to compose a whole opera, with all the scores, within +twenty-four hours. To a nature thus strangely constituted, wine was a +perfect magic wand, transforming a poor, weak, distrustful modest man +into a hero; and yet, even with such temptations, my excesses were +extremely rare and unfrequent. Are there many, I would ask, that could +resist the passport to such a dreamland, with only the penalty of a +headache the next morning? Some one would, perhaps, suggest that these +were enjoyments to pay forfeit on. Well, so they were; but I must not +anticipate. And now to my tale. + +To Hammond's brew there succeeded one by Oxley, made after an American +receipt, and certainly both fragrant and insinuating; and then came a +concoction made by the priest, which he called "Father Hosey's pride." +It was made in a bowl, and drunk out of lemon-rinds, ingeniously fitted +into the wine-glasses. I remember no other particulars about it, though +I can call to mind much of the conversation that preceded it. How I gave +a long historical account of my family, that we came originally from +Corsica, the name Potts being a corruption of Pozzo, and that we were +of the same stock as the celebrated diplomatist Pozzo di Borgo. Our +unclaimed estates in the island were of fabulous value, but in asserting +my right to them I should accept thirteen mortal duels, the arrears of +a hundred and odd years un-scored off, in anticipation of which I had +at one time taken lessons from Angelo, in fencing, which led to the +celebrated challenge they might have read in "Galignani," where I +offered to meet any swordsman in Europe for ten thousand Napoleons, +giving choice of the weapon to my adversary. With a tear to the +memory of the poor French colonel that I killed at Sedan, I turned the +conversation. Being in France, I incidentally mentioned some anecdotes +of military life, and bow I had invented the rifle called after Minié's +name, and, in a moment of good nature, given that excellent fellow my +secret. + +"I will say," said I, "that Minié has shown more gratitude than some +others nearer home, but we 'll talk of rifled cannon another time." + +In an episode about bear-shooting, I mentioned the Emperor of Russia, +poor dear Nicholas, and told how we had once exchanged horses,--mine +being more strong-boned, and a weight-carrier; his a light Caucasian +mare of purest breed, "the dam of that creature you may see below in the +stable now," said I, carelessly. "'Come and see me one of these +days, Potts,' said he, in parting; 'come and pass a week with me at +Constantinople.' This was the first intimation he had ever given of his +project against Turkey; and when I told it to the Duke of Wellington, +his remark was a muttered 'Strange fellow, Potts,--knows everything!' +though he made no reply to me at the time." + +It was somewhere about this period that the priest began with what +struck me as an attempt to outdo me as a storyteller, an effort I should +have treated with the most contemptuous indifference but for the amount +of attention bestowed on him by the others. Nor was this all, but +actually I perceived that a kind of rivalry was attempted to be +established, so that we were pitted directly against each other. Amongst +the other self-delusions of such moments was the profound conviction +I entertained that I was master of all games of skill and address, +superior to Major A. at whist, and able to give Staunton a pawn and the +move at chess. The priest was just as vainglorious. "He'd like to +see the man who 'd play him a game of 'spoiled five'"--whatever +that was--"or drafts; ay, or, though it was not his pride, a bit of +backgammon." + +"Done, for fifty pounds; double on the gammon!" cried I. + +"Fifty fiddlesticks!" cried he; "where would you or I find as many +shillings?" + +"What do you mean, sir?" said I, angrily. "Am I to suppose that you +doubt my competence to risk such a comtemptible sum, or is it to your +own inability alone you would testify?" + +A very acrimonious dispute followed, of which I have no clear +recollection. I only remember how Hammond was out-and out for the +priest, and Oxley too tipsy to take _my_ part with any efficiency. At +last--Row arranged I can't say--peace was restored, and the next thing +I can recall was listening to Father Dyke giving a long, and of course +a most fabulous, history of a ring that he wore on his second finger. +It was given by the Pretender, he said, to his uncle, the celebrated +Carmelite monk, Lawrence O'Kelly, who for years bad followed the young +prince's fortunes. It was an onyx, with the letters C. E. S. engraved +on it. Keldrum took an immense fancy to it; he protested that everything +that attached to that unhappy family possessed in his eyes an uncommon +interest. "If you have a fancy to take up Potto's wager," said he, +laughingly, "I'll give you fifty pounds for your signet ring." + +The priest demurred; Hammond interposed; then there was more discussion, +now warm, now jocose. Oxley tried to suggest something, which we all +laughed at. Keldrum placed the backgammon board meanwhile; but I can +give no clear account of what ensued, though I remember that the terms +of our wager were committed to writing by Hammond, and signed by Father +D. and myself, and in the conditions there figured a certain ring, +guaranteed to have belonged to and been worn by his Royal Highness +Charles Edward, and a cream-colored horse, equally guaranteed as the +produce of a Caucasian mare presented by the late Emperor Nicholas to +the present owner. The document was witnessed by all three, Oxley's name +written in two letters, and a flourish. After that, I played, and lost! + + + + +CHAPTER IV. PLEASANT REFLECTIONS ON AWAKING. + +I can recall to this very hour the sensations of headache and misery +with which I awoke the morning after this debauch. Backing pain it was, +with a sort of tremulous beating all through the brain, as though a +small engine had been set to work there, and that piston and boiler and +connecting-rod were all banging, fizzing, and vibrating amid my fevered +senses. I was, besides, much puzzled to know where I was, and how I +had come there. Controversial divinity, genealogy, horse-racing, the +peerage, and "double sixes" were dancing a wild cotillon through my +brain; and although a waiter more than once cautiously obtruded his head +into the room, to see if I were asleep, and as guardedly withdrew it +again, I never had energy to speak to him, but lay passive and still, +waiting till my mind might clear, and the cloud-fog that obscured my +faculties might be wafted away. + +At last--it was towards evening--the man, possibly becoming alarmed at +my protracted lethargy, moved somewhat briskly through the room, and +with that amount of noise that showed he meant to arouse me, disturbed +chairs and fire-irons indiscriminately. + +"Is it late or early?" asked I, faintly. + +"Tis near five, sir, and a beautiful evening," said he, drawing nigh, +with the air of one disposed for colloquy. + +I did n't exactly like to ask where I was, and tried to ascertain the +fact by a little circumlocution. "I suppose," said I, yawning, "for all +that is to be done in a place like this, when up, one might just as well +stay abed, eh?" + +"T is the snuggest place, anyhow," said he, with that peculiar +disposition to agree with you so characteristic in an Irish waiter. + +"No society?" sighed I. + +"No, indeed, sir." + +"No theatre?" + +"Devil a one, sir." + +"No sport?" + +"Yesterday was the last of the season, sir; and signs on it, his +Lordship and the other gentleman was off immediately after breakfast." + +"You mean Lord--Lord--" A mist was clearing slowly away, but I could not +yet see clearly. + +"Lord Keldrum, sir; a real gentleman every inch of him." + +"Oh! yes, to be sure,--a very old friend of mine," muttered I. "And so +he's gone, is he?" + +"Yes, sir; and the last word he said was about your honor." + +"About me,--what was it?" + +"Well, indeed, sir," replied the waiter, with a hesitating and confused +manner, "I did n't rightly understand it; but as well as I could catch +the words, it was something about hoping your honor had more of that +wonderful breed of horses the Emperor of Roosia gave you." + +"Oh, yes! I understand," said I, stopping him abruptly. "By the way, how +is Blondel--that is, my horse--this morning?" + +"Well, he looked fresh and hearty, when he went off this morning at +daybreak--" + +"What do you mean?" cried I, jumping up in my bed. "Went off? where to?" + +"With Father Dyke on his back; and a neater hand he could n't wish +over him. 'Tim,' says he, to the ostler, as he mounted, 'there's a +five-shilling piece for you, for hansel, for I won this baste last +night, and you must drink my health and wish me luck with him.'" + +I heard no more, but, sinking back into the bed, I covered my face with +my hands, overcome with shame and misery. All the mists that had blurred +my faculties had now been swept clean away, and the whole history of +the previous evening was revealed before me. My stupid folly, my absurd +boastfulness, my egregious story-telling,--not to call it worse,--were +all there; but, shall I acknowledge it? what pained me not less +poignantly was the fact that I ventured to stake the horse I had merely +hired, and actually lost him at the play-table. + +As soon as I rallied from this state of self-accusation, I set to work +to think how I should manage to repossess myself of my beast, my loss of +which might be converted into a felony. To follow the priest and ransom +Blondel was my first care. Father Dyke would most probably not exact +an unreasonable price; he, of course, never believed one word of my +nonsensical narrative about Schamyl and the Caucasus, and he 'd not +revenge upon Potts sober the follies of Potts tipsy. It is true my purse +was a very slender one, but Blondel, to any one unacquainted with +his pedigree, could not be a costly animal; fifteen pounds--twenty, +certainly--ought to buy what the priest would call "every hair on his +tail." + +It was now too late in the evening to proceed to execute the measures I +had resolved on, and so I determined to lie still and ponder over them. +Dismissing the waiter, with an order to bring me a cup of tea about +eight o'clock, I resumed my cogitations. They were not pleasant ones: +Potts a byword for the most outrageous and incoherent balderdash and +untruth; Potts in the "Hue and Cry;" Potts in the dock; Potts in the +pillory; Potts paragraphed in "Punch;" portrait of Potts, price one +penny!--these were only a few of the forms in which the descendant of +the famous Corsican family of Pozzo di Borgo now presented himself to my +imagination. + +The courts and quadrangles of Old Trinity ringing with laughter, the +coarse exaggerations of tasteless scoffers, the jokes and sneers of +stupidity, malice, and all uncharitableness, rang in my ears as if I +heard them. All possible and impossible versions of the incident +passed in review before me: my father, driven distracted by impertinent +inquiries, cutting me off with a shilling, and then dying of +mortification and chagrin; rewards offered for my apprehension; +descriptions, not in any way flatteries, of my personal appearance; +paragraphs of local papers hinting that the notorious Potts was supposed +to have been seen in our neighborhood yesterday, with sly suggestions +about looking after stable-doors, &c. I could bear it no longer. I +jumped up, and rang the bell violently. + +"You know this Father Dyke, waiter? In what part of the country does he +live?" + +"He's parish priest of Inistioge," said he; "the snuggest place in the +whole county." + +"How far from this may it be?" + +"It's a matter of five-and-forty miles; and by the same token, he said +he 'd not draw bridle till he got home to-night, for there was a fair +at Grague to-morrow, and if he was n't pleased with the baste he 'd sell +him there." + +I groaned deeply; for here was a new complication, entirely unlooked +for. "You can't possibly mean," gasped I out, "that a respectable +clergyman would expose for sale a horse lent to him casually by a +friend?" for the thought struck me that this protest of mine should be +thus early on record. + +The waiter scratched his head and looked confused. Whether another +version of the event possessed him, or that my question staggered his +convictions, I am unable to say; but he made no reply. "It is true," +continued I, in the same strain, "that I met his reverence last night +for the first time. My friend Lord Keldrum made us acquainted; but +seeing him received at my noble friend's board, I naturally felt, and +said to myself, 'The man Keldrum admits to his table is the equal of any +one.' Could anything be more reasonable than that?" + +"No, indeed, sir; nothing," said the waiter, obsequiously. + +"Well, then," resumed I, "some day or other it may chance that you will +be called on to remember and recall this conversation between us; if so, +it will be important that you should have a clear and distinct memory of +the fact that when I awoke in the morning, and asked for my horse, the +answer you made me was--What was the answer you made me?" + +"The answer I med was this," said the fellow, sturdily, and with an +effrontery I can never forget,--"the answer I med was, that the man that +won him took him away." + +"You're an insolent scoundrel," cried I, boiling over with passion, "and +if you don't ask pardon for this outrage on your knees, I 'll include +you in the indictment for conspiracy." + +So far from proceeding to the penitential act I proposed, the fellow +grinned from ear to ear, and left the room. It was a long time before I +could recover my wonted calm and composure. That this rascal's evidence +would be fatal to me if the question ever came to trial, was as clear as +noonday; not less clear was it that he knew this himself. + +"I must go back at once to town," thought I. "I will surrender myself to +the law. If a compromise be impossible, I will perish at the stake." + +I forgot there was no stake; but there was wool-carding, and +oakum-picking, and wheel-treading, and oyster-shell pounding, and other +small plays of this nature, infinitely more degrading to humanity than +all the cruelties of our barbarous ancestors. + +Now, in no record of lives of adventure had I met any account of such +trials as these. The Silvio Pellicos of Pentonville are yet unwritten +martyrs. Prison discipline would vulgarize the grandest epic that ever +was conceived "Anything rather than this," said I, aloud. "Proscribed, +outlawed, hunted down, but never, gray-coated and hair-clipped, shall a +Potts be sentenced to the 'crank,' or black-holed as refractory!--Bring +me my bill," cried I, in a voice of indignant anger. "I will go forth +into the world of darkness and tempest; I will meet the storm and the +hurricane; better all the conflict of the elements than man's--than +man's--" I was n't exactly sure what; but there was no need of the word, +for a gust of wind had just flattened my umbrella in my face as I issued +forth, and left me breathless, as the door closed behind me. + + + + +CHAPTER V. THE ROSARY AT INISTIOGE + +As I walked onward against the swooping wind and the plashing rain, I +felt a sort of heroic ardor in the notion of breasting the adverse waves +of life so boldly. It is not every fellow could do this,--throw his +knapsack on his shoulder, seize his stick, and set out in storm and +blackness. No, Potts, my man; for downright inflexibility of purpose, +for bold and resolute action, you need yield to none! It was, indeed, an +awful night; the thunder rolled and crashed with scarce an interval +of cessation; forked lightning tore across the sky in every direction; +while the wind swept through the deep glen, smashing branches and +uplifting large trees like mere shrubs. I was soon completely drenched, +and my soaked clothes hung around with the weight of lead; my spirits, +however, sustained me, and I toiled along, occasionally in a sort of +wild bravado, giving a cheer as the thunder rolled close above my head, +and trying to sing, as though my heart were as gay and my spirits as +light as in an hour of happiest abandonment. + +Jean Paul has somewhere the theory that our Good Genius is attached to +us from our birth by a film fine as gossamer, and which few of us escape +rupturing in the first years of youth, thus throwing ourselves at once +without chart or pilot upon the broad ocean of life. He, however, more +happily constituted, who feels the guidance of his guardian spirit, +recognizes the benefits of its care, and the admonitions of its +wisdom,--_he_ is destined to great things. Such men discover new worlds +beyond the seas, carry conquest over millions, found dynasties, and +build up empires; they whom the world regard as demigods having simply +the wisdom of being led by fortune, and not severing the slender thread +that unites them to their destiny. Was I, Potts, in this glorious +category? Had the lesson of the great moralist been such a warning to +me that I had preserved the filmy link unbroken? I really began to think +so; a certain impulse, a whispering voice within, that said, "Go on!" +On, ever onward! seemed to be the accents of that Fate which had great +things in store for me, and would eventually make me illustrious. + +No illusions of your own, Potts, no phantasmagoria of your own poor +heated fancy, must wile you away from the great and noble part destined +for you. No weakness, no faint-heartedness, no shrinking from toil, nor +even peril. Work hard to know thoroughly for what Fate intends you; read +your credentials well, and then go to your post unflinchingly. Revolving +this theory of mine, I walked ever on. It opened a wide field, and my +imagination disported in it, as might a wild mustang over some vast +prairie. The more I thought over it, the more did it seem to me the real +embodiment of that superstition which extends to every land and every +family of men. We are Lucky when, submitting to our Good Genius, we +suffer ourselves to be led along unhesitatingly; we are Unlucky when, +breaking our frail bonds, we encounter life unguided and unaided. + +What a docile, obedient, and believing pupil did I pledge myself to be! +Fate should see that she had no refractory nor rebellious spirit in me, +no self-indulgent voluptuary, seeking only the sunny side of existence, +but a nature ready to confront the rugged conflict of life, and to meet +its hardships, if such were my allotted path. + +I applied the circumstances in which I then found myself to my theory, +and met no difficulty in the adaptation. Blondel was to perform a great +part in my future. Blondel was a symbol selected by fate to indicate a +certain direction. Blondel was a lamp by which I could find my way in +the dark paths of the world. With Blondel, my Good Genius would walk +beside me, or occasionally get up on the crupper, but never leave me or +desert me. In the high excitement of my mind, I felt no sense of bodily +fatigue, but walked on, drenched to the skin, alternately shivering with +cold or burning with all the intensity of fever. In this state was it +that I entered the little inn of Ovoco soon after daybreak, and stood +dripping in the bar, a sad spectacle of exhaustion and excitement My +first question was, "Has Blondel been here?" and before they could +reply, I went on with all the rapidity of delirium to assure them that +deception of me would be fruitless; that Fate and I understood each +other thoroughly, travelled together on the best of terms, never +disagreed about anything, but, by a mutual system of give and take, hit +it off like brothers. I talked for an hour in this strain; and then my +poor faculties, long struggling and sore pushed, gave way completely, +and I fell into brain fever. + +I chanced upon kind and good-hearted folk, who nursed me with care and +watched me with interest; but my illness was a severe one, and it +was only in the sixth week that I could be about again, a poor, weak, +emaciated creature, with failing limbs and shattered nerves. There is an +indescribable sense of weariness in the mind after fever, just as if +the brain had been enormously over-taxed and exerted, and that in +the pursuit of all the wild and fleeting fancies of delirium it had +travelled over miles and miles of space. To the depressing influence of +this sensation is added the difficulty of disentangling the capricious +illusions of the sick-bed from the actual facts of life; and in this +maze of confusion my first days of convalescence were passed. +Blondel was my great puzzle. Was he a reality, or a mere creature of +imagination? Had I really ridden him as a horse, or only as an idea? +Was he a quadruped with mane and tail, or an allegory invented to typify +destiny? I cannot say what hours of painful brain labor this inquiry +cost me, and what intense research into myself. Strange enough, too, +though I came out of the investigation convinced of his existence, I +arrived at the conclusion that he was a "horse and something more." Not +that I am able to explain myself more fully on that head, though, if +I were writing this portion of my memoirs in German, I suspect I could +convey enough of my meaning to give a bad headache to any one indulgent +enough to follow me. + +I set out once more upon my pilgrimage on a fine day of June, my steps +directed to the village of Inistioge, where Father Dyke resided. I was +too weak for much exertion, and it was only after five days of the road +I reached at nightfall the little glen in which the village stood. The +moon was up, streaking the wide market-places with long lines of yellow +light between the rows of tall elm-trees, and tipping with silvery sheen +the bright eddies of the beautiful river that rolled beside it. Over the +granite cliffs that margined the stream, laurel, and arbutus, and wild +holly clustered in wild luxuriance, backed higher up again, by tall +pine-trees, whose leafy summits stood out against the sky; and lastly, +deep within a waving meadow, stood an old ruined abbey, whose traceried +window was now softly touched by the moonlight All was still and silent, +except the rush of the rapid river, as I sat down upon a stone bench +to enjoy the scene and luxuriate in its tranquil serenity. I had not +believed Ireland contained such a spot, for there was all the trim +neatness and careful propriety of an English village, with that +luxuriance of verdure and wild beauty so eminently Irish. How was it +that I had never heard of it before? Were others aware of it, or was +the discovery strictly my own? Or can it possibly be that all this +picturesque loveliness is but the effect of a mellow moon? While I +thus questioned myself, I heard the sound of a quick footstep rapidly +approaching, and soon afterwards the pleasant tone of a rich voice +humming an opera air. I arose, and saw a tall, athletic-looking figure, +with rod and fishing-basket, approaching me. + +"May I ask you, sir," said I, addressing him, "if this village contains +an inn?" + +"There is, or rather there was, a sort of inn here," said he, removing +his cigar as he spoke; "but the place is so little visited that I fancy +the landlord found it would not answer, and so it is closed at this +moment." + +"But do visitors--tourists--never pass this way?" + +"Yes, and a few salmon-fishers, like myself, come occasionally in the +season; but then we dispose ourselves in little lodgings, here and +there, some of us with the farmers, one or two of us with the priest." + +"Father Dyke?" broke I in. + +"Yes; you know him, perhaps?" + +"I have heard of him, and met him, indeed," added I, after a pause. +"Where may his house be?" + +"The prettiest spot in the whole glen. If you 'd like to see it in this +picturesque moonlight, come along with me." + +I accepted the invitation at once, and we walked on together. The easy, +half-careless tone of the stranger, the loose, lounging stride of his +walk, and a certain something in his mellow voice, seemed to +indicate one of those natures which, so to say, take the world +well,--temperaments that reveal themselves almost immediately. He talked +away about fishing as he went, and appeared to take a deep interest in +the sport, not heeding much the ignorance I betrayed on the subject, nor +my ignoble confession that I had never adventured upon anything higher +than a worm and a quill. + +"I'm sure," said he, laughingly, "Tom Dyke never encouraged you in such +sporting-tackle, glorious fly-fisher as he is." + +"You forget, perhaps," replied I, "that I scarcely have any acquaintance +with him. We met once only at a dinnerparty." + +"He's a pleasant fellow," resumed he; "devilish wideawake, one must say; +up to most things in this same world of ours." + +"That much my own brief experience of him can confirm," said I, dryly, +for the remark rather jarred upon my feelings. + +"Yes," said he, as though following out his own train of thought "Old +Tom is not a bird to be snared with coarse lines. The man must be an +early riser that catches him napping." + +I cannot describe how this irritated me. It sounded like so much direct +sarcasm upon my weakness and want of acuteness. + +"There's the 'Rosary;' that's his cottage," said he, taking my arm, +while he pointed upward to a little jutting promontory of rock over the +river, surmounted by a little thatched cottage almost embowered in +roses and honeysuckles. So completely did it occupy the narrow limits +of ground, that the windows projected actually over the stream, and the +creeping plants that twined through the little balconies hung in tangled +masses over the water. "Search where you will through the Scottish and +Cumberland scenery, I defy you to match that," said my companion; "not +to say that you can hook a four-pound fish from that little balcony on +any summer evening while you smoke your cigar." + +"It is a lovely spot, indeed," said I, inhaling with ecstasy the +delicious perfume which in the calm night air seemed to linger in the +atmosphere. + +"He tells me," continued my companion,--"and I take his word for it, for +I am no florist,--that there are seventy varieties of the rose on and +around that cottage. I can answer for it that you can't open a window +without a great mass of flowers coming in showers over you. I told him, +frankly, that if I were his tenant for longer than the fishing-season, I +'d clear half of them away." + +"You live there, then?" asked I, timidly. + +"Yes, I rent the cottage, all but two rooms, which he wished to keep for +himself, but which he now writes me word may be let, for this month and +the next, if a tenant offer. Would you like them?" asked he, abruptly. + +"Of all things--that is--I think so--I should like to see them first!" +muttered I, half startled by the suddenness of the question. + +"Nothing easier," said he, opening a little wicket as he spoke, and +beginning to ascend a flight of narrow steps cut in the solid rock. +"This is a path of my designing," continued he; "the regular approach is +on the other side; but this saves fully half a mile of road, though it +be a little steep." + +As I followed him up the ascent, I proposed to myself a variety of +questions, such as, where and how I was to procure accommodation for the +night, and in what manner to obtain something to eat, of which I stood +much in need? and I had gained a little flower-garden at the rear of the +cottage before I had resolved any of these difficult points. + +"Here we are," said he, drawing a long breath. "You can't see much of +the view at this hour; but to-morrow, when you stand on this spot, and +look down that reach of the river, with Mont Alto in the background, you +'ll tell me if you know anything finer!" + +"Is that Edward?" cried a soft voice; and at the same instant a young +girl came hastily out of the cottage, and, throwing her arms around my +companion, exclaimed, "How you have alarmed me! What could possibly have +kept you out so late?" + +"A broad-shouldered fish, a fellow weighing twelve pounds at the very +least, and who, after nigh three hours' playing, got among the rocks and +smashed my tackle." + +"And you lost him?" + +"That did I, and some twenty yards of gut, and the top splice of my +best rod, and my temper, besides. But I 'm forgetting; Mary, here is +a gentleman who will, I hope, not refuse to join us at supper.--My +sister." + +By the manner of presentation, it was clear that he expected to hear my +name, and so I interposed, "Mr. Potts,--Algernon Sydney Potts." + +The young lady courtesied slightly, muttered something like a repetition +of the invitation, and led the way into the cottage. + +My astonishment was great at the "interior" now before me; for though +all the arrangements bespoke habits of comfort and even luxury, +there was a studious observance of cottage style in everything; the +bookshelves, the tables, the very pianoforte, being all made of white +unvarnished wood. And I now perceived that the young lady herself, +with a charming coquetry, had assumed something of the costume of the +Oberland, and wore her bodice laced in front, and covered with silver +embroidery both tasteful and becoming. + +"My name is Crofton," said my host, as he disengaged himself of his +basket and tackle; "we are almost as much strangers here as yourself. I +came here for the fishing, and mean to take myself off when it 's over." + +"I hope not, Edward," broke in the girl, who was now, with the +assistance of a servant-woman, preparing the table for supper; "I hope +you 'll stay till we see the autumn tints on those trees." + +"My sister is just as great an enthusiast about sketching as I am for +salmon-fishing," said he, laughingly; "and for my own part, I like +scenery and landscape very well, but think them marvellously heightened +by something like sport. Are you an angler?" + +"No," said I; "I know nothing of the gentle craft" + +"Fond of shooting, perhaps? Some men think the two sports incompatible." + +"I am as inexpert with the gun as the rod," said I, diffidently. + +I perceived that the sister gave a sly look under her long eyelashes +towards me; but what its meaning, I could not well discover. Was it +depreciation of a man who avowed himself unacquainted with the sports +of the field, or was it a quiet recognition of claims more worthy +of regard? At all events, I perceived that she had very soft, +gentle-looking gray eyes, a very fair skin, and a profusion of beautiful +brown hair. I had not thought her pretty at first I now saw that she was +extremely pretty, and her figure, though slightly given to fulness, the +perfection of grace. + +Hungry, almost famished as I was, with a fast of twelve hours, I felt no +impatience so long as she moved about in preparation for the meal. How +she disposed the little table equipage, the careful solicitude with +which she arranged the fruit and the flowers,--not always satisfied with +her first dispositions, but changing them for something different,--all +interested me vastly, and when at last we were summoned to table, I +actually felt sorry and disappointed. + +Was it really so delicious, was the cookery so exquisite? I own frankly +that I am not a trustworthy witness; but if my oath could be taken, I +am willing to swear that I believe there never were such salmon-steaks, +such a pigeon-pie, and such a damson-tart served to mortals as these. +My enthusiasm, I suspect, must have betrayed itself in some outward +manifestation, for I remember Crofton laughingly having remarked,-- + +"You will turn my sister's head, Mr. Potts, by such flatteries; all the +more, since her cookery is self-taught." + +"Don't believe him, Mr. Potts; I have studied all the great masters of +the art, and you shall have an omelette to-morrow for breakfast, Brillat +Savarin himself would not despise." + +I blushed at the offer of an hospitality so neatly and delicately +insinuated, and had really no words to acknowledge it, nor was my +confusion unfavorably judged by my hosts. Crofton marked it quickly, and +said,-- + +"Yes, Mr. Potts, and I 'll teach you to hook a trout afterwards. +Meanwhile let us have a glass of Sauterne together; we drink it out of +green glasses, to cheat ourselves into the fancy that it's Rhenish." + +"'Am Rhein, am Rhein, da wachsen unsere Reben,'" said I, quoting the +students' song. + +"Oh, have you been in Germany?" cried she, eagerly. + +"Alas! no," said I. "I have never travelled." I thought she looked +disappointed as I said this. Indeed, I already wished it unsaid; but her +brother broke in with,-- + +"We are regular vagabonds, Mr. Potts. My sister and myself have had +a restless paroxysm for the last three years of life; and what with +seeking cool spots for the summer and hot climates for winter, we are +scarcely ever off the road." + +"Like the gentleman, I suppose, who ate oysters for appetite, but +carried his system so far as to induce indigestion." My joke failed; +nobody laughed, and I was overwhelmed with confusion, which I was fain +to bury in my strawberries and cream. + +"Let us have a little music, Mary," said Crofton. "Do you play or sing, +Mr. Potts?" + +"Neither. I do nothing," cried I, in despair. "As Sydney Smith says, 'I +know something about the Romans,' but, for any gift or grace which +could adorn society, or make time pass more pleasantly, I am an utter +bankrupt." + +The young girl had, while I was speaking, taken her place at the +pianoforte, and was half listlessly suffering her hands to fall in +chords over the instrument. + +"Come out upon this terrace, here," cried Crofton to me, "and we 'll +have our cigar. What I call a regular luxury after a hard day is to +lounge out here in the cool night air, and enjoy one's weed while +listening to Spohr or Beethoven." + +It was really delightful. The bright stars were all reflected in the +calm river down below, and a thousand odors floated softly on the air as +we sat there. + +Are there not in every man's experience short periods in which he seemed +to have lived longer than during whole years of life? They tell us +there are certain conditions of the atmosphere, inappreciable as to the +qualities, which seem to ripen wines, imparting to young fresh vintages +all the mellow richness of age, all the depth of flavor, all the velvety +softness of time. May there not possibly be influences which similarly +affect our natures? May there not be seasons in which changes as great +as these are wrought within us? I firmly believe it, and as firmly that +such a period was that in which I sat on the balcony over the Nore, +listening to Mary Crofton as she sang, but just as often lost to every +sound, and deep in a heaven of blended enjoyments, of which no one +ingredient was in the ascendant. Starry sky, rippling river, murmuring +night winds, perfumed air, floating music, all mingling as do the odors +of an incense, and, like an incense, filling the brain with a delicious +intoxication. + +Hour after hour must have passed with me in this half-conscious ecstasy, +for Crofton at last said,-- + +"There, where you see that pinkish tint through the gray, that's the +sign of breaking day, and the signal for bedtime. Shall I show you your +room?" + +"How I wish this could last forever!" cried I, rapturously; and then, +half ashamed of my warmth, I stammered out a good-night, and retired. + + + + +CHAPTER VI. MY SELF-EXAMINATION. + +Our life at the Rosary--for it was _our_ life now of which I have to +speak--was one of unbroken enjoyment. On fine days we fished; that is, +Crofton did, and I loitered along some river's bank till I found a quiet +spot to plant my rod, and stretch myself on the grass, now reading, of +tender dreaming, such glorious dreams as only come in the leafy shading +of summer time, to a mind enraptured with all around it The lovely +scenery and the perfect solitude of the spot ministered well to my +fanciful mood, and left me free to weave the most glittering web of +incident for my future. So utterly was all the past blotted from my +memory that I recalled nothing of existence more remote than my first +evening at the cottage. If for a parting instant a thought of +bygones would obtrude, I hastened to escape from it as from a gloomy +reminiscence. I turned away as would a dreamer who dreaded to awaken +out of some delicious vision, and who would not face the dull aspect of +reality. Three weeks thus glided by of such happiness as I can scarcely +yet recall without emotion! The Croftons had come to treat me like a +brother; they spoke of family events in all freedom before me; talked of +the most confidential things in my presence, and discussed their future +plans and their means as freely in my hearing as though I had been +kith and kin with them. I learned that they were orphans, educated and +brought up by a rich, eccentric uncle, who lived in a sort of costly +reclusion in one of the Cumberland dales; Edward, who had served in the +army, and been wounded in an Indian campaign, had given up the service +in a fit of impatience of being passed over in promotion. + +His uncle resented the rash step by withdrawing the liberal allowance he +had usually made him, and they quarrelled. Mary Crofton, espousing her +brother's side, quitted her guardian's roof to join his; and thus had +they rambled about the world for two or three years, on means scanty +enough, but still sufficient to provide for those who neither sought to +enter society nor partake of its pleasures. + +As I advanced in the intimacy, I became depository of the secrets of +each. Edward's was the sorrow he felt for having involved his sister in +his own ruin, and been the means of separating her from one so well able +and so willing to befriend her. Hers was the more bitter thought that +their narrow means should prejudice her brother's chances of recovery, +for his chest had shown symptoms of dangerous disease requiring all that +climate and consummate care might do to overcome. Preyed on incessantly +by this reflection, unable to banish it, equally unable to resist its +force, he took the first and only step she had ever adventured +without his knowledge, and had written to her uncle a long letter of +explanations and entreaty. + +I saw the letter, and read it carefully. It was all that sisterly love +and affection could dictate, accompanied by a sense of dignity, that if +her appeal should be unsuccessful, no slight should be passed upon +her brother, who was unaware of the step thus taken. To express this +sufficiently, she was driven to the acknowledgment that Edward would +never have himself stooped to the appeal; and so careful was she of +his honor in this respect, that she repeated--with what appeared to me +unnecessary insistence--that the request should be regarded as hers, +and hers only. In fact, this was the uppermost sentiment in the whole +epistle. I ventured to say as much, and endeavored to induce her to +moderate in some degree the amount of this pretension; but she resisted +firmly and decidedly. Now, I have recorded this circumstance here,--less +for itself than to mention how by its means this little controversy +led to a great intimacy between us,--inducing us, while defending our +separate views, to discuss each other's motives, and even characters, +with the widest freedom. I called her enthusiast, and in return she +styled me worldly and calculating; and, indeed, I tried to seem so, +and fortified my opinions by prudential maxims and severe reflections +I should have been sorely indisposed to adopt in my own case. I believe +she saw all this. I am sure she read me aright, and perceived that I was +arguing against my own convictions. At all events, day after day went +over, and no answer came to the letter. I used to go each morning to +the post in the village to inquire, but always returned with the same +disheartening tidings, "Nothing to-day!" + +One of these mornings it was, that I was returning disconsolately from +the village, Crofton, whom I believed at the time miles away on the +mountains, overtook me. He came up from behind, and, passing his arm +within mine, walked on some minutes without speaking. I saw plainly +there was something on his mind, and I half dreaded lest he might have +discovered his sister's secret and have disapproved of my share in it. + +"Algy," said he, calling me by my Christian name, which he very rarely +did, "I have something to say to you. Can I be quite certain that you +'ll take my frankness in good part?" + +"You can," I said, with a great effort to seem calm and assured. + +"You give me your word upon it?" + +"I do," said I, trying to appear bold; "and my hand be witness of it" + +"Well," he resumed, drawing a long breath, "here it is. I have remarked +that for above a week back you have never waited for the postboy's +return to the cottage, but always have come down to the village +yourself." + +I nodded assent, but said nothing. + +"I have remarked, besides," said he, "that when told at the office there +was no letter for you, you came away sad-looking and fretted, scarcely +spoke for some time, and seemed altogether downcast and depressed." + +"I don't deny it," I said calmly. + +"Well," continued he, "some old experiences, of mine have taught me that +this sort of anxiety has generally but one source, with fellows of _our_ +age, and which simply means that the remittance we have counted upon +as certain has been, from some cause or other, delayed. Is n't that the +truth?" + +"No," said I, joyfully, for I was greatly relieved by his words; "no, on +my honor, nothing of the kind." + +"I may not have hit the thing exactly," said he, hurriedly, "but I 'll +be sworn it is a money matter; and if a couple of hundred pounds be of +the least service--" + +"My dear, kind-hearted fellow," I broke in, "I can't endure this longer: +it is no question of money; it is nothing that affects my means, though +I half wish it were, to show you how cheerfully I could owe you my +escape from a difficulty,--not, indeed, that I need another tie to bind +me to you--" But I could say no more, for my eyes were swimming over, and +my lips trembling. + +"Then," cried he, "I have only to ask pardon for thus obtruding upon +your confidence." + +I was too full of emotion to do more than squeeze his hand +affectionately, and thus we walked along, side by side, neither uttering +a word. At last, and as it were with an effort, by a bold transition, +to carry our thoughts into another and very different channel, he said: +"Here's a letter from old Dyke, our landlord. The worthy father has +been enjoying himself in a tour of English watering-places, and has now +started for a few weeks up the Rhine. His account of his holiday, as he +calls it, is amusing; nor less so is the financial accident to which +he owes the excursion. Take it, and read it," he added, giving me the +epistle. "If the style be the man, his reverence is not difficult to +decipher." + +I bestowed little attention on this speech, uttered, as I perceived, +rather from the impulse of starting a new topic than anything else, and, +taking the letter half mechanically, I thrust it in my pocket. One or +two efforts we made at conversation were equally failures, and it was a +relief to me when Crofton, suddenly remembering some night-lines be +had laid in a mountain lake a few miles off, hastily shook my hand, and +said, "Good-bye till dinner-time." + +When I reached the cottage, instead of entering I strolled into +the garden, and sought out a little summer-house of sweet-brier and +honeysuckle, on the edge of the river. Some strange, vague impression +was on me, that I needed time and place to commune with myself and be +alone; that a large unsettled account lay between me and my conscience, +which could not be longer deferred; but of what nature, how originating, +and how tending, I know nothing whatever. + +I resolved to submit myself to a searching examination, to ascertain +what I might about myself. In my favorite German authors I had +frequently read that men's failures in life were chiefly owing to +neglect of this habit of self-investigation; that though we calculate +well the dangers and difficulties of an enterprise, we omit the more +important estimate of what may be our capacity to effect an object, what +are our resources, wherein our deficiencies. + +"Now for it," I thought, as I entered the little arbor,--"now for it, +Potts; kiss the book, and tell the whole truth and nothing but the +truth." + +As I said this, I took off my hat and bowed respectfully around to +the members of an imaginary court. "My name," said I, in a clear and +respectful voice, "is Algernon Sydney Potts. If I be pushed to the +avowal, I am sorry it _is_ Potts. Algernon Sydney do a deal, but they +can't do everything,--not to say that captious folk see a certain bathos +in the collocation with my surname. Can a man hope to make such a name +illustrious? Can be aspire to the notion of a time when people will +allude to the great Potts, the celebrated Potts, the immortal Potts?" I +grew very red, I felt my cheek on fire as I uttered this, and I suddenly +bethought me of Mr. Pitt, and I said aloud, "And, if Pitt, why not +Potts?" That was a most healing recollection. I revelled in it for a +long time. "How true is it," I continued, "that the halo of greatness +illumines all within its circle, and the man is merged in the grandeur +of his achievements. The men who start in life with high sounding +designations have but to fill a foregone pledge,--to pay the bill that +fortune has endorsed. Not so was our case, Pitt. To us is it to lay +every foundation stone of our future greatness. There was nothing +in _your_ surname to foretell you would be a Minister of State at +one-and-thirty,--there is no letter of _mine_ to indicate what I shall +be. But what is it that I am to be? Is it Poet, Philosopher, Politician, +Soldier, or Discoverer? Am I to be great in Art, or illustrious in +Letters? Is there to be an ice tract of Behring's Straits called Potts's +Point, or a planet styled Pottsium Sidus? And when centuries have rolled +over, will historians have their difficulty about the first Potts, and +what his opinions were on this subject or that?" + +Then came a low soft sound of half-suppressed laughter, and then the +rustle of a muslin dress hastily brushing through the trees. I rushed +out from my retreat, and hurried down the walk. No one to be seen,--not +a soul; not a sound, either, to be heard. + +"No use hiding, Mary," I called out, "I saw you all the time; my mock +confession was got up merely to amuse you. Come out boldly and laugh +as long as you will." No answer. This refusal amazed me. It was like a +disbelief in my assertion. "Come, come!" I cried, "you can't pretend to +think I was serious in all this vainglorious nonsense. Come, Mary, and +let us enjoy the laugh at it together. If you don't, I shall be angry. +I'll take it ill,--very ill." + +Still no reply. Could I, then, have been deceived? Was it a mere +delusion? But no; I heard the low laugh, and the rustle of the dress, +and the quick tread upon the gravel, too plainly for any mistake, and +so I returned to the cottage in chagrin and ill-temper. As I passed the +open windows' of the little drawing-room I saw Mary seated at her work, +with, as was her custom, an open book on a little table beside her. +Absorbed as she was, she did not lift her head, nor notice my approach +till I entered the room. + +"You have no letter for me?" she cried, in a voice of sorrowful meaning. + +"None," said I scrutinizing her closely, and sorely puzzled what to make +of her calm deportment. "Have you been out in the garden this morning?" +I asked, abruptly. + +"No," said she, frankly. + +"Not quitted the house at all?" + +"No. Why do you ask?" cried she, in some surprise. + +"I 'll tell you," I said, sitting down at her side, and speaking in a +low and confidential tone; "a strange thing has just happened to me." +And with that I narrated the incident, glossing over, as best I +might, the absurdity of my soliloquizing, and the nature of the +self-examination I was engaged in. Without waiting for me to finish, she +broke in suddenly with a low laugh, and said,-- + +"It must have been Rose." + +"And who is Rose?" I asked half sternly. + +"A cousin of ours, a mere school-girl, who has just arrived. She came by +the mail this morning, when you were out. But here she is, coming up +the walk. Just step behind that screen, and you shall have your revenge. +I'll make her tell everything." + +I had barely time to conceal myself, when, with a merry laugh, a fresh, +girlish voice called out, "I 've seen him! I have seen him, Mary! I +was sitting on the rock beside the river, when he came into the +summer-house, and, fancying himself alone and unseen, proceeded to make +his confession to himself." + +"His confession! What do you mean?" + +"I don't exactly know whether that be the proper name for it, but it was +a sort of self-examination, not very painful, certainly, inasmuch as it +was rather flattering than otherwise." + +"I really cannot understand you, Rose." + +"I'm not surprised," said she, laughing again. "It was some time before +I could satisfy myself that he was not talking to somebody else, or +reading ont of a book; and when, peeping through the leaves, I perceived +he was quite alone, I almost screamed out with laughing." + +"But why, child? What was the absurdity that amused you?" + +"Fancy the creature. I need not describe him, Molly. You know him well, +with his great staring light-green eyes, and his wild yellow hair. +Imagine his walking madly to and fro, tossing his long arms about in +uncouth gestures, while he asked himself seriously whether he would +n't be Shakspeare, or Milton, or Michael Angelo, or Nelson. Fancy his +gravely inquiring of himself what remarkable qualities predominated +in his nature: was he more of a sculptor, or a politician, or had fate +destined him to discover new worlds, or to conquer the old ones? If +I had n't been actually listening to the creature, and occasionally +looking at him, too, I 'd have doubted my senses. Oh dear! shall I ever +forget the earnest absurdity of his manner as he said something about +the 'immortal Potts'?" + +The reminiscence was too much for her, for she threw herself on a sofa +and laughed immoderately. As for me, unable to endure more, and fearful +that Mary might finish by discovering me, I stole from the room, and +rushed out into the wood. + +What is it that renders ridicule more insupportable than vituperation? +Why is the violence of passion itself more easy to endure than the sting +of sarcastic satire? What weak spot in our nature does this peculiar +passion assail? And, again, why are all the noble aspirations of +high-hearted enthusiasm, the grand self-reliance of daring minds, ever +to be made the theme of such scoffings? Have the scorners never read of +Wolfe, of Murat, or of Nelson? Has not a more familiar instance reached +them of one who foretold to an unwilling senate the time when they would +hang in expectancy on his words, and treasure them as wisdom? Cruel, +narrow-minded, and unjust world, with whom nothing succeeds except +success! + +The man who contracts a debt is never called cheat till his inability +to discharge it has been proven clearly and beyond a doubt; but he who +enters into an engagement with his own heart to gain a certain prize, +or reach a certain goal, is made a mockery and a sneer by all whose own +humble faculties represent such striving as impossible. From thoughts +like these I went on to speculate whether I should ever be able, in the +zenith of my great success, to forgive those captious and disparaging +critics who had once endeavored to damp my ardor and bar my career. I +own I found it exceedingly difficult to be generous, and in particular +to that young minx of sixteen who had dared to make a jest of my +pretensions. + +I wandered along thus for hours. Many a grassy path of even sward led +through the forest, and, taking one of those which skirted the stream, +I strolled along, unconscious alike of time and place. Out of the purely +personal interests which occupied my mind sprang others, and I bethought +me with a grim satisfaction of the severe lesson Mary must have, ere +this, read Rose upon her presumption and her flippancy, telling her, in +stern accents, how behind that screen the man was standing she had dared +to make the subject of her laughter. Oh, how she blushes! what flush +of crimson shame spreads over her face, her temples, and her neck; what +large tears overflow her lids, and fall along her cheeks! I actually +pity her suffering, and am pained at her grief. + +"Spare her, dear Mary!" I cry out; "after all, she is but a child. Why +blame her that she cannot measure greatness, as philosophers measure +mountains, by the shadow?" + +Egotism, in every one of its moods and tenses, must have a strong +fascination. I walked on for many a mile while thus thinking, without +the slightest sense of weariness, or any want of food. The morning +glided over, and the hot noon was passed, and the day was sobering down +into the more solemn tints of coming evening, and I still loitered, or +lay in the tall grass deep in my musings. + +In taking my handkerchief from my pocket, I accidentally drew forth the +priest's letter, and in a sort of half-indolent curiosity, proceeded to +read it. The hand was cramped and rugged, the writing that of a man +to whom the manual part of correspondence is a heavy burden, and who +consequently incurs such labor as rarely as is possible. The composition +had all the charm of ease, and was as unstudied as need be; the writer +being evidently one who cared little for the graces of style, +satisfied to discuss his subject in the familiar terms of his ordinary +conversation. + +Although I did not mean to impose more than an extract from it on my +reader, I must reserve even that much for my next chapter. + + + + +CHAPTER VII. FATHER DYKE'S LETTER. + +Father Dyke was one of those characters which Ireland alone produces,--a +sporting priest. In France, Spain, or Italy, the type is unknown. Time +was, when the _abbé_, elegant, witty, and well-bred, was a great element +of polished life; when his brilliant conversation and his insidious +address threw all the charm of culture over a society which was only +rescued from coarseness by the marvellous dexterity of such intellectual +gladiators. They have passed away, like many other things brilliant and +striking: the gilded coach, the red-heeled slipper, and the supper of +the regency; the powdered marquise, for a smile of whose dimpled mouth +the deadly rapier has flashed in the moonlight; the perfumed beauty, +for one of whose glances a poet would have racked his brain to render +worthily in verse; the gilded _salon_ where, in a sort of incense, +all the homage of genius was offered up before the altar of +loveliness,--gone are they all! _Au fond_, the world is pretty much the +same, although we drive to a club dinner in a one-horse brougham; and +if we meet the _curé_ of St. Roch, we find him to be rather a morose +middle-aged man with a taste for truffles, and a talent for silence. It +is not as the successor of the witty _abbé_ that I adduce the sporting +priest, but simply as a variety of the ecclesiastical character which, +doubtless, a very few more years will have consigned to the realm of +history. He, too, will be a bygone! Father Tom, as he was popularly +called, never needing any more definite designation, was _tam Marte quam +Mercurio_, as much poacher as priest, and made his sporting acquirements +subservient to the demands of an admirable table. The thickest salmon, +the curdiest trout, the fattest partridge, and the most tender woodcock +smoked on his board, and, rumor said, cooked with a delicacy that more +pretentious houses could not rival. In the great world nothing is more +common than to see some favored individual permitted to do things which, +by common voice, are proclaimed impracticable or improper. With a sort +of prescriptive right to outrage the ordinances of society, such people +accept no law but their own inclination, and seem to declare that they +are altogether exempt from the restraints that bind other men. In a +small way, and an humble sphere, Father Tom enjoyed this privilege, +and there was not in his whole county to be found one man churlish or +ungenerous enough to dispute it; and thus was he suffered to throw his +line, snap his gun, or unleash his dog in precincts where many with +higher claims had been refused permission. + +It was not alone that he enjoyed the invigorating pleasure of field +sports in practice, but he delighted in everything which bore any +relationship to them. There was not a column of "Bell's Life" in which +he had not his sympathy,--the pigeon match, the pedestrian, the Yankee +trotter, the champion for the silver sculls at Chelsea, the dog "Billy," +were all subjects of interest to him. Never did the most inveterate +blue-stocking more delight in the occasion of meeting a great celebrity +of letters, than did he when chance threw him in the way of the jock +who rode the winner at the Oaks, or the "Game Chicken" who punished the +"Croydon Pet" in the prize ring. But now for the letter, which will +as fully reveal the man as any mere description. It was a narrative of +races he had attended, and rowing-matches he had witnessed, with little +episodes of hawking, badger-drawing, and cock-fighting intermixed. + +"I came down here--Brighton--to swim for a wager of five-and-twenty +sovereigns against a Major Blayse, of the Third Light Dragoon Guards; we +made the match after mess at Aldershot, when neither of us was anything +to speak of too sober; but as we were backed strongly,--he rather the +favorite,--there was no way of drawing the bet. I beat him after a hard +struggle; we were two hours and forty minutes in the water, and netted +about sixty pounds besides. We dined with the depot in the evening, +and I won a ten-pound note on a question of whether there ought to be +saffron in the American drink called 'greased lightning;' but this was +not the only piece of luck that attended me, as you shall hear. As I was +taking my morning canter on the Downs, I perceived that a stranger--a +jockey-like fellow, not quite a gentleman but near it--seemed to keep me +in view; now riding past, now behind me, and always bestowing his whole +attention on my nag. Of course, I showed the beast off to the best, and +handled him skilfully. I thought to myself, he likes the pony; he 'll be +for making me an offer for him. I was right. I had just seated myself at +breakfast, when the stranger sent his card, with a request to speak to +me. He was a foreigner, but spoke very correct English, and his object +was to learn if I would sell my horse. It is needless to say that I +refused at once. The animal suited me, and I was one of those people +who find it excessively difficult to be mounted to their satisfaction. +I needed temper, training, action, gentleness, beauty, high courage, and +perfect steadiness, and a number of such-like seeming incongruities. +He looked a little impatient at all this; he seemed to say, 'I know all +this kind of nonsense; I have heard shiploads of such gammon before. +Be frank and say what's the figure; how much do you want for him?' He +looked this, I say, but he never uttered a word, and at last I asked +him,-- + +"'Are you a dealer?' + +"'Well,' said he, with an arch smile, 'something in that line.' + +"'I thought so,' said I. 'The pony is a rare good one.' + +"He nodded assent. + +"'He can jump a bar of his own height?' + +"Another nod. + +"'And he's as fresh on his legs--' + +"'As if he were not twenty-six years old,' he broke in. + +"'Twenty-six fiddle-sticks! Look at his mouth; he has an eight-year-old +mouth.' + +"'I know it,' said he, dryly; 'and so he had fourteen years ago. Will +you take fifty sovereigns for him?' he added, drawing out a handful of +gold from his pocket. + +"'No,' said I, firmly; 'nor sixty, nor seventy, nor eighty!' + +"'I am sorry to have intruded upon you,' said he, rising, 'and I beg you +to excuse me. The simple fact is, that I am one who gains his living +by horses, and it is only possible for me to exist by the generosity of +those who deal with me.' + +"This appeal was a home thrust, and I said, 'What can you afford to +give?' + +"'All I have here,' said he, producing a handful of gold, and spreading +it on the table. + +"We set to counting, and there were sixty-seven sovereigns in the mass. +I swept off the money into the palm of my hand, and said, 'The beast is +yours.' + +"He drew a long breath, as if to relieve his heart of a load of care, +and said, 'Men of _my_ stamp, and who lead such lives as I do, are +rarely superstitious.' + +"'Very true,' said I, with a nod of encouragement for him to go on. + +"'Well,' said he, resuming, 'I never thought for a moment that any +possibility could have made me so. If ever there was a man that laughed +at lucky and unlucky days, despised omens, sneered at warnings, and +scorned at predictions, I was he; and yet I have lived to be the most +credulous and the most superstitious of men. It is now fourteen years +and twenty-seven days--I remember the time to an hour--since I sold that +pony to the Prince Ernest von Saxen-hausen, and since that day I never +had luck. So long as I owned him all went well with me. I ought to tell +you that I am the chief of a company of equestrians, and one corps, +known as Klam's Kunst-Reiters, was the most celebrated on the Continent +In three years I made three hundred thousand guilders, and if the devil +had not induced me to sell "Schatzchen"--that was his name--I should be +this day as rich as Heman Rothschild! From the hour he walked out of the +circus our calamities began. I lost my wife by fever at Wiesbaden, the +most perfect high-school horsewoman in Europe; my son, of twenty years +of age, fell, and dislocated his neck; the year after, at Vienna, my +daughter Gretchen was blinded riding through a fiery hoop at Homburg; +and four years later, all the company died of yellow fever at the +Havannah, leaving me utterly beggared and ruined. Now these, you would +say, though great misfortunes, are all in the course of common events. +But what will you say when, on the eve of each of them, Schatzchen +appeared to me in a dream, performing some well-known feat or other, and +bringing down, as he ever did, thunders of applause; and never did he so +appear without a disaster coming after. I struggled hard before I +suffered this notion to influence me. It was years before I even +mentioned it to any one; and I used for a while to make a jest of it in +the circus, saying, "Take care of yourselves tonight, for I saw +Schatzchen." Of course they were not the stuff to be deterred by such +warnings, but they became so at last. That they did, and were so +terrified, so thoroughly terrified, that the day after one of my visions +not a single member of the troupe would venture on a hazardous feat of +any kind; and if we performed at all, it was only some commonplace +exercises, with few risks, and no daring exploits whatever. Worn out +with evil fortune, crushed and almost broken-hearted, I struggled on for +years, secretly determining, if ever I should chance upon him, to buy +back Schatzchen with my last penny in the world. Indeed, there were +moments in which such was the intense excitement of my mind, I could +have committed a dreadful crime to regain possession of him. We were on +the eve of embarking for Ostend the other night, when I saw you riding +on the Downs, and I came ashore at once to track you out, for I knew +him, though fully half a mile away. None of my comrades could guess what +detained me, nor understand why I asked each of them in turn to lend me +whatever money he could spare. It was in this way I made up the little +purse you see. It was thus provided that I dared to present myself +to-day before you." + +"As he gave me this narrative, his manner grew more eager and excited, +and I could not help feeling that his mind, from the long-continued +pressure of one thought, had received a serious shock. It was exactly +one of those cases which physicians describe as leaving the intellect +unimpaired, while some one faculty is under the thraldom of a dominant +and all-pervading impression. I saw this more palpably, when, having +declined to accept more than his original offer of fifty pounds, I +replaced the remainder in his hand, he evinced scarcely any gratitude +for my liberality, so totally was he engrossed by the idea that the +horse was now his own, and that Fortune would no longer have any pretext +for using him so severely as before. + +"'I don't know,--I cannot know,' said he, 'if fortune means to deal more +kindly by me than heretofore, but I feel a sort of confidence in the +future now; I have a kind of trustful courage as to what may come, that +tells me no disaster will deter me, no mishap cast me down.' + +"These were his words as he arose to take his leave. Of his meeting with +the pony I am afraid to trust myself to speak. It was such an overflow +of affection as one might witness from a long absent brother on being +once again restored to his own. I cannot say that the beast knew him, +nor would I go so far as to assert that he did not, for certainly some +of his old instincts seemed gradually to revive within him on hearing +certain words; and when ordered to take a respectful farewell of me, the +pony planted a foreleg on each of his master's shoulders, and, +taking off his hat with his teeth, bowed twice or thrice in the most +deferential fashion. I wished them both every success in life, and we +parted. As I took my evening's stroll on the pier, I saw them embark for +Ostend, the pony sheeted most carefully, and every imaginable precaution +taken to insure him against cold. The man himself was poorly clad, and +indifferently provided against the accidents of the voyage. He appeared +to feel that the disparity required a word of apology, for he said, in a +whisper: 'It 'll soon furnish me with a warm cloak; it 'll not leave +me long in difficulties!' I assure you, my dear Crofton, there was +something contagious in the poor fellow's superstition, for, as he +sailed away, the thought lay heavily on my heart, 'What if I, too, +should have parted with my good luck in life? How if I have bartered my +fortune for a few pieces of money?' The longer I dwelt on this theme, +the more forcibly did it strike me. My original possession of the animal +was accomplished in a way that aided the illusion. It was thus I won him +on a hit of backgammon!" + +As I read thus far, the paper dropped from my hands, my head reeled, and +in a faint dreamy state, as if drugged by some strong narcotic, I sank, +I know not how long, unconscious. The first thing which met my eyes on +awakening, was the line, "I won him on a hit of backgammon!" The whole +story was at once before me. It was of Blondel I was reading! Blondel +was the beast whose influence had swayed one man's destiny. So long as +he owned him, the world went well and happily with him; all prospered +and succeeded. It was a charm like the old lamp of Aladdin. And this was +the treasure I had lost. So far from imputing an ignorant superstition +to the German, I concurred in every speculation, every theory of +his invention. The man had evidently discovered one of those curious +problems in what we rashly call the doctrine of chances. It was not +the animal himself that secured good fortune, it was that, in his +"circumstances," what Strauff calls "die amringende Bege-benheiten" +of his lot, this creature was sure to call forth efforts and develop +resources in his possessor, of which, without his aid, he would have +gone all through life unconscious. + +The vulgar notion that our lives are the sport of accident,--the minute +too early or too late, the calm that detained us, the snow-storm that +blocked the road, the chance meeting with this or that man, which we lay +such stress on,--what are they in reality but trivial incidents without +force or effect, save that they impel to action? They call out certain +qualities in our nature by which our whole characters become modified. +Your horse balks at a fence, and throws you over his head; the fall is +not a very grave one, and you are scarcely hurt; you have fallen into +a turnip-field, and the honest fellow, who is hoeing away near, comes +kindly to your aid, and, in good Samaritan fashion, bathes your temples +and restores you. When you leave him at last, you go forth with a +kindlier notion of human nature; you recognize the tie "that makes the +whole world kin," and you seem to think that hard toil hardens not the +heart, nor a life of labor shuts out generous sympathies,--the lesson is +a life one. But suppose that in your fall you alight on a bed of choice +tulips, you descend in the midst of a rich parterre of starry anemones, +and that your first conscious struggles are met with words of anger and +reproach; instead of sorrow for your suffering, you hear sarcasms +on your horsemanship, and insults on your riding,--no sympathy, no +kindness, no generous anxiety for your safety, but all that irritate and +offend,--more thought, in fact, for the petals of a flower than for the +ligaments of your knee,--then, too, is the lesson a life one, and +its fruits will be bitter memories for many a year. The events of our +existence are in reality nothing, save in our treatment of them. By +Blondel, I recognized one of those suggestive influences which mould +fate by moulding temperament. The deep reflecting German saw this: it +was clear _he_ knew that in that animal was typified all that his life +might become. Why should not I contest the prize with him? Blondel was +charged with another destiny as well as his. + +I turned once more to the letter, but I could not bear to read it; so +many were the impertinent allusions to myself, my manner, my appearance, +and my conversation. Still more insulting were the speculations as to +what class or condition I belonged to. "He puzzled us completely," wrote +the priest, "for while unmistakably vulgar in many things, there were +certain indications of reading and education about him that refuted the +notion of his being what Keldrum thought,--an escaped counter-jumper! +The Guardsman insisted he was a valet; my own impression was, the fellow +had kept a small circulating library, and gone mad with the three-volume +novels. At all events, I have given him a lesson which, whether +profitable or not to _him_, has turned out tolerably well for _me_, +If ever you chance to hear of him,--his name was Podder or Pedder, I +think,--pray let me know, for my curiosity is still unslaked about him." +He thence went off to a sort of descriptive catalogue of my signs and +tokens, so positively insulting that I cannot recall it; the whole +winding up: "Add to all these an immense pomposity of tone, with a lisp, +and a Dublin accent, and you can scarcely mistake him." Need I say, +benevolent reader, that fouler calumnies were never uttered, nor more +unfounded slanders ever pronounced? + +It is not in this age of photography that a man need defend his +appearance. By the aid of sun and collodion, I may, perhaps, one +day convince you that I am not so devoid of personal graces as this +foul-mouthed priest would persuade you. I am, possibly, in this pledge, +exceeding the exact limits which this publication may enable me to +sustain. I may be contracting an engagement which cannot be, consistent +with its principles, fulfilled. If so, I must be your artist; but I +swear to you, that I shall not flatter. Potto, painted by himself, shall +be a true portrait. Meanwhile I have time to look out for my canvas, and +you will be patient enough to wait till it be filled. + +Again to this confounded letter:-- + +"There is another reason" (wrote Dyke ) "why I should like to-chance +upon this fellow." ("This fellow" meant me.) "I used to fancy myself +unequalled in the imaginative department of conversation, by the vulgar +called lying. Here, I own, with some shame, he was my match. A more +fearless, determined, go-ahead liar, I never met. Now, as one who deems +himself no small proficient in the art, I would really like to meet +him once more. We could approach each other like the augurs of old, and +agree to be candid and free-spoken together, exchanging our ideas on +this great topic, and frankly communicating any secret knowledge each +might deem that he possessed. I'd go a hundred miles to pass an evening +with him alone, to hear from his own lips the sort of early training and +discipline his mind went through,--who were his first instructors, +what his original inducements. Of one thing I feel certain: a man +thus constituted has only to put the curb upon his faculty to be most +successful in life, his perils will all lie in the exuberance of +his resources; let him simply bend himself to believe in some of the +impositions he would force upon others. Let him give his delusions the +force acquired by convictions, and there is no limit to what he may +become. Be on the lookout, therefore, for him, as a great psychological +phenomenon, the man who outlied + +"Your sincerely attached friend, + +"Thomas Darcy Dyke. + +"P. S. I have just remembered his name. It was Potts; the villain said +from the Pozzo di Borgo family. I 'm sure with this hint you can't fail +to run him to earth; and I entreat of you spare no pains to do it." + + +There followed here some more impertinent personalities as clews to my +discovery, which my indulgent reader will graciously excuse me if I do +not stop to record; enough to say they were as unfounded as they were +scurrilous. + +Another and very different train of thought, however, soon banished +these considerations. This letter had been given me by Crofton, who had +already read it; he had perused all this insolent narrative about +me before handing it to me, and doubtless, in so doing, had no other +intention than to convey, in the briefest and most emphatic way to me, +that I was found out. It was simply saying, in the shortest possible +space, "Thou art the man!" Oh, the ineffable shame and misery of that +thought! Oh, the bitterness of feeling! How my character should now be +viewed and my future discussed! "Only think, Mary," I fancied I heard +him say,--"only think who our friend should turn out to be,--this same +Potts: the fellow that vanquished Father Dyke in story-telling, and +outlied the priest! And here we have been lavishing kindness and +attentions upon one who, after all, is little better than a swindler, +sailing under false colors and fictitious credentials; for who can now +credit one syllable about his having written those verses he read for +us, or composed that tale of which he told us the opening? What a lesson +in future about extending confidence to utter strangers! What caution +and reserve should it not teach us! How guarded should we be not to +suffer ourselves to be fascinated by the captivations of manner and the +insinuating charms of address! If Potts had been less prepossessing +in appearance, less gifted and agreeable,--if, instead of being a +consummate man of the world, with the breeding of a courtier and the +knowledge of a scholar, he had been a pedantic puppy with a lisp and a +Dublin accent--" Oh, ignominy and disgrace! these were the very words +of the priest in describing me, which came so aptly to my memory, and I +grew actually sick with shame as I recalled them. I next became angry. +Was this conduct of Crofton's delicate or considerate? Was it becoming +in one who had treated me as his friend thus abruptly to conclude our +intimacy by an insult? Handing me such a letter was saying, "There's a +portrait; can you say any one it resembles?" How much more generous had +he said, "Tell me all about this wager of yours with Father Dyke; I want +to hear _your_ account of it, for old Tom is not the most veracious of +mortals, nor the most mealy-mouthed of commentators. Just give me _your_ +version of the incident, Potts, and I am satisfied it will be the true +one." That's what he might, that's what he ought to have said. I can +swear it is what I, Potts, would have done by _him_, or by any other +stranger whose graceful manners and pleasing qualities had won my esteem +and conciliated my regard. I 'd have said, "Potts, I have seen enough +of life to know how unjust it is to measure men by one and the same +standard. The ardent, impassioned nature cannot be ranked with the cold +and calculating spirit The imaginative man has the same necessity for +the development of his creative faculty as the strongly muscular man +of bodily exercise. He must blow off the steam of his invention, or the +boiler will not contain it. You and Le Sage and Alexandre Dumas are a +category. You are not the Clerks of a Census Commission, or Masters +in Equity. You are the chartered libertines of fiction. Shake out your +reefs, and go free,--free as the winds that waft you!" + +To all these reflections came the last one. "I must be up and doing, and +that speedily! I will recover Blondel, if I devote my life to the +task. I will regain him, let the cost be what it may. Mounted upon that +creature, I will ride up to the Rosary; the time shall be evening; a sun +just sunk behind the horizon shall have left in the upper atmosphere a +golden and rosy light, which shall tip his mane with a softened lustre, +and shed over my own features a rich Titian-like tint. 'I come,' will I +say, 'to vindicate the fair fame of one who once owned your affection. +It is Potts, the man of impulse, the child of enthusiasm, who now +presents himself before you. Poor, if you like to call him so, in +worldly craft or skill, poor in its possessions, but rich, boundlessly +rich, in the stores of an ideal wealth. Blondel and I are the embodiment +of this idea. These fancies you have stigmatized as lies are but the +pilot balloons by which great minds calculate the currents in that upper +air they are about to soar in.'" + +And, last of all, there was a sophistry that possessed a great charm for +my mind, in this wise: to enable a man, humble as myself, to reach that +station in which a career of adventure should open before him, some +ground must be won, some position gained. That I assume to be something +that I am not, is simply to say that I trade upon credit. If my future +transactions be all honorable and trustworthy,--if by a fiction, +only known to my own heart, I acquire that eminence from which I +can distribute benefits to hundreds,--who is to stigmatize me as a +fraudulent trader? + +Is it not a well-known fact, that many of those now acknowledged as the +wealthiest of men, might, at some time or other of their lives, have +been declared insolvent had the real state of their affairs been known? +The world, however, had given them its confidence, and time did the +rest. Let the same world be but as generous towards _me!_ The day will +come,--I say it confidently and boldly,--the day will come when I can +"show my books," and "point to my balance-sheet." When Archimedes asked +for a base on which to rest his lever, he merely uttered the great +truth, that some one fixed point is essential to the success of a motive +power. + +It is by our use or abuse of opportunity we are either good or bad +men. The physician is not less conversant with noxious drags than the +poisoner; the difference lies in the fact that the one employs his skill +to alleviate suffering, the other to work out evil and destruction. If +I, therefore, but make some feigned station in life the groundwork from +which I can become the benefactor of my fellowmen, I shall be good +and blameless. My heart tells me how well and how fairly I mean by the +world: I would succor the weak, console the afflicted, and lift up the +oppressed; and if to carry out grand and glorious conceptions of this +kind all that be needed is a certain self-delusion which may extend +its influence to others, "Go in," I say, "Potts; be all that your fancy +suggests,-- + + Dives, honoratus, pulcher, rex deniqne regain, + +--Be rich, honored and fair, a prince or a begum,--but, above all, never +distrust your destiny, or doubt your star." + + + + +CHAPTER VIII. IMAGINATION STIMULATED BY BRANDY AND WATER. + +So absorbed was I in the reflections of which my last chapter is the +record, that I utterly forgot how time was speeding, and perceived +at last, to my great surprise, that I had strayed miles away from the +Rosary, and that evening was already near. The spires and roofs of a +town were distant about a mile at a bend of the river, and for this I +now made, determined on no account to turn back, for how could I ever +again face those who had read the terrible narrative of the priest's +letter, and before whom I could only present myself as a cheat and +impostor? + +"No," thought I, "my destiny points onward,--and to Blondel; nothing +shall turn me from my path." Less than an hour's walking brought me to +the town, of which I had but time to learn the name,--New Ross. I left +it in a small steamer for Waterford, a little vessel in correspondence +with the mail packet for Milford, and which I learned would sail that +evening at nine. + +The same night saw me seated on the deck, bound for England. On the +deck, I say, for I had need to husband my resources, and travel with +every imaginable economy, not only because my resources were small in +themselves, but that, having left all that I possessed of clothes and +baggage at the Rosary, I should be obliged to acquire a complete outfit +on reaching England. + +It was a calm night, with a starry sky and a tranquil sea; and, when +the cabin passengers had gone down to their berths, the captain did not +oppose my stealing "aft" to the quarter-deck, where I could separate +myself from the somewhat riotous company of the harvest laborers that +thronged the forepart of the vessel. He saw, with that instinct a sailor +is eminently gifted with, that I was not of that class by which I was +surrounded, and with a ready courtesy he admitted me to the privilege of +isolation. + +"You are going to enlist, I 'll be bound," said he, as he passed me in +his short deck walk. "Ain't I right?" + +"No," said I; "I'm going to seek my fortune." + +"Seek your fortune!" he repeated, with a slighting sort of laugh. "One +used to read about fellows doing that in story books when a child, but +it's rather strange to hear of it nowadays." + +"And may I presume to ask why should it be more strange now than +formerly? Is not the world pretty much what it used to be? Is not the +drama of life the same stock piece our forefathers played ages ago? Are +not the actors and the actresses made up of the precise materials their +ancestors were? Can you tell me of a new sentiment, a new emotion, or +even a new crime? Why, therefore, should there be a seeming incongruity +in reviving any feature of the past?" + +"Just because it won't do, my good friend," said he, bluntly. "If the +law catches a fellow lounging about the world in these times, it takes +him up for a vagabond." + +"And what can be finer, grander, or freer than a vagabond?" I cried, +with enthusiasm. "Who, I would ask you, sees life with such philosophy? +Who views the wiles, the snares, the petty conflicts of the world with +such a reflective calm as his? Caring little for personal indulgence, +not solicitous for self-gratification, he has both the spirit and the +leisure for observation. Diogenes was the type of the vagabond, and see +how successive ages have acknowledged his wisdom." + +"If I had lived in _his_ day, I'd have set him picking oakum, for all +that!" he replied. + +"And probably, too, would have sent the 'blind old bard to the crank,'" +said I. + +"I'm not quite sure of whom you are talking," said he; "but if he was a +good ballad-singer, I'd not be hard on him." + +"O! Menin aeide Thea Peleiadeo Achilleos!" spouted I out, in rapture. + +"That ain't high Dutch," asked he, "is it?" + +"No," said I, proudly. "It is ancient Greek,--the godlike tongue of an +immortal race." + +"Immortal rascals!" he broke in. "I was in the fruit trade up in the +Levant there, and such scoundrels as these Greek fellows I never met in +my life." + +"By what and whom made so?" I exclaimed eagerly. "Can you point to a +people in the world who have so long resisted the barbarizing influence +of a base oppression? Was there ever a nation so imbued with high +civilization as to be enabled for centuries of slavery to preserve the +traditions of its greatness? Have we the record of any race but this, +who could rise from the slough of degradation to the dignity of a +people?" + +"You 've been a play-actor, I take it?" asked he, dryly. + +"No, sir, never!" replied I, with some indignation. + +"Well, then, in the Methody line? You've done a stroke of preaching, I +'ll be sworn." + +"You would be perjured in that case, sir," I rejoined, as haughtily. + +"At all events, an auctioneer," said he, fairly puzzled in his +speculations. + +"Equally mistaken there," said I, calmly; "bred in the midst of +abundance, nurtured in affluence, and educated with all the solicitous +care that a fond parent could bestow--" + +"Gammon!" said he, bluntly. "You are one of the swell mob in distress!" + +"Is this like distress?" said I, drawing forth my purse in which were +seventy-five sovereigns, and handing it to him. "Count over that, and +say how just and how generous are your suspicions." + +He gravely took the purse from me, and, stooping down to the binnacle +light, counted over the money, scrutinizing carefully the pieces as he +went. + +"And who is to say this isn't 'swag'?" said he, as he closed the purse. + +"The easiest answer to that," said I, "is, would it be likely for a +thief to show his booty, not merely to a stranger, but to a stranger who +suspected him?" + +"Well, that is something, I confess," said he, slowly. + +"It ought to be more,--it ought to be everything. If distrust were not +a debasing sentiment, obstructing the impulses of generosity, and even +invading the precincts of justice, you would see far more reason to +confide in than to disbelieve me." + +"I 've been done pretty often afore now," he muttered, half to himself. + +"What a fallacy that is!" cried I, contemptuously. "Was not the pittance +that some crafty impostor wrung from your compassion well repaid to you +in the noble self-consciousness of your generosity? Did not your venison +on that day taste better when you thought of his pork chop? Had not +your Burgundy gained flavor by the memory of the glass of beer that was +warming the half-chilled heart in his breast? Oh, the narrow mockery of +fancying that we are not better by being deceived!" + +"How long is it since you had your head shaved?" he asked dryly. + +"I have never been the inmate of an asylum for lunatics," said I, +divining and answering the impertinent insinuation. + +"Well, I own you are a rum un," said he, half musingly. + +"I accept even this humble tribute to my originality," said I, with a +sort of proud defiance. "I am well aware how _he_ must be regarded who +dares to assert his own individuality." + +"I'd be very curious to know," said he, after a pause of several +minutes, "how a fellow of your stamp sets to work about gaining his +livelihood? What's his first step? how does he go about it?" + +I gave no other answer than a smile of scornful meaning. + +"I meant nothing offensive," resumed he, "but I really have a strong +desire to be enlightened on this point." + +"You are doubtless impressed with the notion," said I, boldly, "that men +possessed of some distinct craft or especial profession are alone needed +by the world of their fellows. That one must be doctor or lawyer or +baker or shoemaker, to gain his living, as if life had no other wants +than to be clothed and fed and physicked and litigated. As if humanity +had not its thousand emotional moods, its wayward impulses, its trials +and temptations, all of them more needing guidance, support, direction, +and counsel, than the sickest patient needs a physician. It is on this +world that I throw myself; I devote myself to guide infancy, to console +age, to succor the orphan, and support the widow,--morally, I mean." + +"I begin to suspect you are a most artful vagabond," said he half +angrily. + +"I have long since reconciled myself to the thought of an unjust +appreciation," said I. "It is the consolation dull men accept when +confronted with those of original genius. You can't help confessing that +all your distrust of me has grown out of the superiority of my powers, +and the humble figure you have presented in comparison with me." + +"Do you rank modesty amongst these same powers?" he asked slyly. + +"Modesty I reject," said I, "as being a conventional form of hypocrisy." + +"Come down below," said he, "and take a glass of brandy and water. It +'s growing chilly here, and we shall be the better of something to cheer +us." + +Seated in his comfortable little cabin, and with a goodly array of +liquors before me to choose from, I really felt a self-confidence in the +fact that, if I were not something out of the common, I could not then +be there. "There must be in my nature," thought I, "that element which +begets success, or I could not always find myself in situations so +palpably beyond the accidents of my condition." + +My host was courtesy itself; no sooner was I his guest than he adopted +towards me a manner of perfect politeness. No more allusions to my +precarious mode of life, never once a reference to my adventurous +future. Indeed, with an almost artful exercise of good breeding, he +turned the conversation towards himself, and gave me a sketch of his own +life. + +It was not in any respects a remarkable one; though it had its share of +those mishaps and misfortunes which every sailor must have confronted. +He was wrecked in the Pacific, and robbed in the Havannah; had his crew +desert him at San Francisco, and was boarded by Riff pirates, and sold +in Barbary just as every other blue jacket used to be; and I listened +to the story, only marvelling what a dreary sameness pervades all these +narratives. Why, for one trait of the truthful to prove his tale, I +could have invented fifty. There were no little touches of sentiment +or feeling, no relieving lights of human emotion, in his story. I never +felt, as I listened, any wish that he should be saved from shipwreck, +baffle his persecutors, or escape his captors; and I thought to myself, +"This fellow has certainly got no narrative gusto." Now for _my_ turn: +we had each of us partaken freely of the good liquor before us. The +Captain in his quality of talker, I in my capacity of listener, +had filled and refilled several times. There was not anything like +inebriety, but there was that amount of exultation, a stage higher than +mere excitement, which prompts men, at least men of temperaments like +mine, not to suffer themselves to occupy rear rank positions, but at any +cost to become foreground and prominent figures. + +"You have heard of the M'Gillicuddys, I suppose?" asked I. He nodded, +and I went on. "You see, then, at this moment before you, the last of +the race. I mean, of course, of the elder branch, for there are swarms +of the others, well to do and prosperous also, and with fine estated +properties. I 'll not weary you with family history. I 'll not refer to +that remote time when my ancestors wore the crown, and ruled the fair +kingdom of Kerry. In the Annals of the Four Masters, and also in the +Chronicles of Thealbogh O'Faudlemh, you 'll find a detailed account of +our house. I 'll simply narrate for you the immediate incident which has +made me what you see me,--an outcast and a beggar. + +"My father was the tried and trusted friend of that noble-hearted but +mistaken man, Lord Edward Fitzgerald. The famous attempt of the year +'eight was concerted between them; and all the causes of its failure, +secret as they are and forever must be, are known to him who now +addresses you. I dare not trust myself to talk of these times or +things, lest I should by accident let drop what might prove strictly +confidential. I will but recount one incident, and that a personal one, +of the period. On the night of Lord Edward's capture, my father, who had +invited a friend--deep himself in the conspiracy--to dine with him, +met his guest on the steps of his hall door. Mr. Hammond--this was his +name--was pale and horror-struck, and could scarcely speak, as my father +shook his hand. 'Do you know what has happened, Mac?' said he to my +father. 'Lord Edward is taken, Major Sirr and his party have tracked him +to his hiding-place; they have got hold of all our papers, and we are +lost By this time to-morrow every man of us will be within the walls of +Newgate.' + +"'Don't look so gloomily, Tom,' said my father. 'Lord Edward will escape +them yet; he's not a bird to be snared so easily; and, after all, we +shall find means to slip our cables too. Come in, and enjoy your sirloin +and a good glass of port, and you'll view the world more pleasantly.' +With a little encouragement of this sort he cheered him up, and the +dinner passed off agreeably enough; but still my father could see that +his friend was by no means at his ease, and at every time the door +opened he would start with a degree of surprise that augured anxiety +of some coming event. From these and other signs of uneasiness in +his manner, my father drew his own conclusions, and with a quick +intelligence of look communicated his suspicions to my mother, who was +herself a keen and shrewd observer. + +"'Do you think, Matty,' said he, as they sat over their wine, that I +could find a bottle of the old green seal if I was to look for it in the +cellar? It has been upwards of forty years there, and I never touch it +save on especial occasions; but an old friend like Hammond deserves such +a treat.' + +"My father fancied that Hammond grew paler as he thus alluded to their +old friendship, and he gave my mother a rapid glance of his sharp eye, +and, taking the cellar key, he left the room. Immediately outside the +door, he hastened to the stable, and saddled and bridled a horse, and, +slipping quietly out, he rode for the sea-coast, near the Skerries. It +was sixteen miles from Dublin, but he did the distance within the hour. +And well was it for him that he employed such speed! With a liberal +offer of money and the gold watch he wore, he secured a small +fishing-smack to convey him over to France, for which he sailed +immediately. I have said it was well that he employed such speed; for, +after waiting with suppressed impatience for my father's return from the +cellar, Hammond expressed to my mother his fears lest my father might +have been taken ill. She tried to quiet his apprehensions, but the very +calmness of her manner served only to increase them. 'I can bear this no +longer,' cried he, at last, rising, in much excitement, from his chair; +'I must see what has become of him!' At the same moment the door +was suddenly flung open, and an officer of police, in full uniform, +presented himself. 'He has got away, sir,' said he, addressing Hammond; +'the stable-door is open, and one of the horses missing.' + +"My mother, from whom I heard the story, had only time to utter a 'Thank +God!' before she fainted. On recovering her senses, she found herself +alone in the room. The traitor Hammond and the police had left her +without even calling the servants to her aid." + +"And your father,--what became of him?" asked the skipper, eagerly. + +"He arrived in Paris in sorry plight enough; but, fortunately, Clarke, +whose influence with the Emperor was unbounded, was a distant connection +of our family. By his intervention my father obtained an interview with +his Majesty, who was greatly struck by the adventurous spirit and daring +character of the man; not the less so because he had the courage to +disabuse the Emperor of many notions and impressions he had conceived +about the readiness of Ireland to accept French assistance. + +"Though my father would much have preferred taking service in the army, +the Emperor, who had strong prejudices against men becoming soldiers +who had not served in every grade from the ranks upwards, opposed +this intention, and employed him in a civil capacity. In fact, to his +management were intrusted some of the most delicate and difficult secret +negotiations; and he gained a high name for acuteness and honorable +dealing. In recognition of his services, his name was inscribed in the +Grand Livre for a considerable pension; but at the fall of the dynasty, +this, with hundreds of others equally meritorious, was annulled; and my +father, worn out with age and disappointment together, sank at last, and +died at Dinant, where my mother was buried but a few years previously. +Meanwhile he was tried and found guilty of high treason in Ireland, and +all his lands and other property forfeited to the Crown. My present +journey was simply a pilgrimage to see the old possessions that once +belonged to our race. It was my father's last wish that I should visit +the ancient home of our family, and stand upon the hills that once +acknowledged us as their ruler. He never desired that I should remain a +French subject; a lingering love for his own country mingled in his +heart with a certain resentment towards France, who had certainly +treated him with ingratitude; and almost his last words to me were, +'Distrust the Gaul.' When I told you awhile back that I was nurtured in +affluence, it was so to all appearance; for my father had spent every +shilling of his-capital on my education, and I was under the firm +conviction that I was born to a very great fortune. You may judge the +terrible revulsion of my feelings when I learned that I had to face the +world almost, if not actually, a beggar. + +"I could easily have attached myself as a hanger-on of some of my +well-to-do relations. Indeed, I will say for them, that they showed +the kindest disposition to befriend me; but the position of a dependant +would have destroyed every chance of happiness for me, and so I resolved +that I would fearlessly throw myself upon the broad ocean of life, and +trust that some sea current or favoring wind would bear me at last into +a harbor of safety." + +"What can you do?" asked the skipper, curtly. + +"Everything, and nothing! I have, so to say, the 'sentiment' of all +things in my heart, but am not capable of executing one of them. With +the most correct ear, I know not a note of music; and though I could +not cook you a chop, I have the most excellent appreciation of a +well-dressed dinner." + +"Well," said he, laughing, "I must confess I don't suspect these to be +exactly the sort of gifts to benefit your fellow-man." + +"And yet," said I, "it is exactly to individuals of this stamp that the +world accords its prizes. The impresario that provides the opera could +not sing nor dance. The general who directs the campaign might be sorely +puzzled how to clean his musket or pipeclay his belt. The great minister +who imposes a tax might be totally unequal to the duty of applying its +provisions. Ask him to gauge a hogshead of spirits, for instance. _My_ +position is like _theirs_. I tell you, once more, the world wants men of +wide conceptions and far-ranging ideas,--men who look to great results +and grand combinations." + +"But, to be practical, how do you mean to breakfast to-morrow morning?" + +"At a moderate cost, but comfortably: tea, rolls, two eggs, and a +rumpsteak with fried potatoes." + +"What's your name?" said he, taking out his note-book. "I mustn't forget +you when I hear of you next." + +"For the present, I call myself Potts,--Mr. Potts, if you please." + +"Write it here yourself," said he, handing me the pencil. And I wrote in +a bold, vigorous hand, "Algernon Sydney-Potts," with the date. + +"Preserve that autograph, Captain," said I; "it is in no-spirit of +vanity I say it, but the day will come you 'll refuse a ten-pound note +for it." + +"Well, I'd take a trifle less just now," said he, smiling. + +He sat for some time gravely contemplating the writing, and at length, +in a sort of half soliloquy, said, "Bob would like him,--he would suit +Bob." Then, lifting his head, he addressed me: "I have a brother in +command of one of the P. and O. steamers,--just the fellow for _you_. He +has got ideas pretty much like your own about success in life, and won't +be persuaded that he isn't the first seaman in the English navy; or +that he hasn't a plan to send Cherbourg and its breakwater sky-high, at +twenty-four hours' warning." + +"An enthusiast,--a visionary, I have no doubt," said I, contemptuously. + +"Well, I think you might be more merciful in your judgment of a man of +your own stamp," retorted he, laughing. "At all events, it would be as +good as a play to see you together. If you should chance to be at Malta, +or Marseilles, when the _Clarence_ touches there, just ask for Captain +Rogers; tell him you know me, that will be enough." + +"Why not give me a line of introduction to him?" said I, with an easy +indifference. "These things serve to clear away the awkwardness of a +self-presentation." + +"I don't care if I do," said he, taking a sheet of paper, and beginning +'Dear Bob,'--after which he paused and deliberated, muttering the words +'Dear Bob' three or four times over below his breath. + +"'Dear Bob,'" said I aloud, in the tone of one dictating to an +amanuensis,--"'This brief note will be handed to you by a very valued +friend of mine, Algernon Sydney Potts, a man so completely after +your own heart that I feel a downright satisfaction in bringing you +together.'" + +"Well, that ain't so bad," said he, as he uttered the last words which +fell from his pen--"'in bringing you together.'" + +"Go on," said I dictatorially, and continued: "'Thrown by a mere +accident myself into his society, I was so struck by his attainments, +the originality of his views, and the wide extent of his knowledge of +life----' Have you _that_ down?" + +"No," said he, in some confusion; "I am only at 'entertainments.'" + +"I said 'attainments,' sir," said I rebukingly, and then repeating the +passage word for word, till he had written it--"'that I conceived for +him a regard and an esteem rarely accorded to others than our oldest +friends.' One word more: 'Potts, from certain circumstances, which +I cannot here enter upon, may appear to you in some temporary +inconvenience as regards money----'" + +Here the captain stopped, and gave me a most significant look: it was at +once an appreciation and an expression of drollery. + +"Go on," said I dryly. "'If so,'" resumed I, "'be guardedly cautious +neither to notice his embarrassment nor allude to it; above all, take +especial care that you make no offer to remove the inconvenience, for he +is one of those whose sensibilities are so fine, and whose sentiments sa +fastidious, that he could never recover, in his own esteem, the dignity +compromised by such an incident.'" + +"Very neatly turned," said he, as he re-read the passage. "I think +that's quite enough." + +"Ample. You have nothing more to do than sign your name to it." + +He did this, with a verificatory flourish at foot, folded and sealed the +letter, and handed it to me, saying-- + +"If it weren't for the handwriting, Bob would never believe all that +fine stuff came from _me_; but you 'll tell him it was after three +glasses of brandy-and-water that I dashed it off--that will explain +everything." + +I promised faithfully to make the required explanation, and then +proceeded to make some inquiries about this brother Bob, whose nature +was in such a close affinity with my own. I could learn, however, but +little beyond the muttered acknowledgment that Bob was a "queer 'un," +and that there was never his equal for "falling upon good-luck, +and spending it after," a description which, when applied to my own +conscience, told an amount of truth that was actually painful. + +"There's no saying," said I, as I pocketed the letter, "if this epistle +should ever reach your brother's hand, my course in life is too wayward +and uncertain for me to say in what corner of the earth fate may find +me; but if we _are_ to meet, you shall hear of it. Rogers"--I said, +"this you extended to me, at a time that, to all seeming, I needed +such attentions--at a time, I say, when none but myself could know how +independently I stood as regarded means; and of one thing be assured, +Rogers, he whose caprice it now is to call himself Potts, is your +friend, your fast friend, for life." + +He wrung my hand cordially--perhaps it was the easiest way for an honest +sailor, as he was, to acknowledge the patronising tone of my speech--but +I could plainly see that he was sorely puzzled by the situation, +and possibly very well pleased that there was no third party to be a +spectator of it. + +"Throw yourself there on that sofa," said he, "and take a sleep." And +with that piece of counsel he left me, and went up on deck. + + + + +CHAPTER IX. HIS INTEREST IN A LADY FELLOW-TRAVELLER. + +Next mornings are terrible things, whether one awakes to the thought of +some awful run of ill-luck at play, or with the racking headache of +new port or a very "fruity" Burgundy. They are dreadful, too, when +they bring memories--vague and indistinct, perhaps--of some serious +altercations, passionate words exchanged, and expressions of defiance +reciprocated; but, as a measure of self-reproach and humiliation, I +know not any distress can compare with the sensation of awaking to the +consciousness that our cups have so ministered to imagination that we +have given a mythical narrative of ourself and our belongings, and have +built up a card edifice of greatness that must tumble with the first +touch of truth. + +It was a sincere satisfaction to me that I saw nothing of the skipper on +that "next morning." He was so occupied with all the details of getting +into port, that I escaped his notice, and contrived to land unremarked. +Little scraps of my last night's biography would obtrude themselves upon +me, mixed up strangely with incidents of that same skipper's life, so +that I was actually puzzled at moments to remember whether "he" was not +the descendant of the famous rebel friend of Lord Edward Fitzgerald, and +_I_ it was who was sold in the public square at Tunis. + +These dissolving views of an evening before are very difficult +problems,--not to _you_, most valued reader, whose conscience is not +burglariously assaulted by a riotous imagination, but to the poor weak +Potts-like organizations, the men who never énjoy a real sensation, or +taste a real pleasure, save on the hypothesis of a mock situation. + +I sat at my breakfast in the "Goat" meditating these things. The +grand problem to resolve was this: Is it better to live a life of +dull incidents and commonplace events in one's own actual sphere, or, +creating, by force of imagination, an ideal status, to soar into a +region of higher conceptions and more pictorial situations? What could +existence in the first case offer me? A wearisome beaten path, with +nothing to interest, nothing to stimulate me. On the other side lay +glorious regions of lovely scenery, peopled with figures the most +graceful and attractive. I was at once the associate of the wise, the +witty, and the agreeable, with wealth at my command, and great +prizes within my reach. Illusions all! to be sure; but what are not +illusions,--if by that word you take mere account of permanence? What is +it in this world that we love to believe real is not illusionary,--the +question of duration being the only difference? Is not beauty +perishable? Is not wit soon exhausted? What becomes of the proudest +physical strength after middle life is reached? What of eloquence when +the voice fails or loses its facility of inflection? + +All these considerations, however convincing to myself, were not equally +satisfactory as regarded others; and so I sat down to write a letter to +Crofton, explaining the reasons of my sudden departure, and enclosing +him Father Dyke's epistle, which I had carried away with me. I began +this letter with the most firm resolve to be truthful and accurate. I +wrote down, not only the date, but the day. "'Goat,' Milford," followed, +and then, "My dear Crofton,--It would ill become one who has partaken +of your generous hospitality, and who, from an unknown stranger, was +admitted to the privilege of your intimacy, to quit the roof beneath +which the happiest hours of his life were passed without expressing the +deep shame and sorrow such a step has cost him, while he bespeaks your +indulgence to hear the reason." This was my first sentence, and it gave +me uncommon trouble. I desired to be dignified, yet grateful, proud in +my humility, grieved over an abrupt departure, but sustained by a manly +confidence in the strength of my own motives. If I read it over once, I +read it twenty times; now deeming it too diffuse, now fearing lest I had +compressed my meaning too narrowly. Might it not be better to open thus: +"Strike, but hear me, dear Crofton, or, before condemning the unhappy +creature whose abject cry for mercy may seem but to increase the +presumption of his guilt, and in whose faltering accents may appear the +signs of a stricken conscience, read over, dear friend, the entire of +this letter, weigh well the difficulties and dangers of him who wrote +it, and say, is he not rather a subject for pity than rebuke? Is not +this more a case for a tearful forgiveness than for chastisement and +reproach?" + +Like most men who have little habit of composition, my difficulties +increased with every new attempt, and I became bewildered and puzzled +what to choose. It was vitally important that the first lines of my +letter should secure the favorable opinion of the reader; by one unhappy +word, one ill-selected expression, a whole case might be prejudiced. I +imagined Crofton angrily throwing the epistle from him with an impatient +"Stuff and nonsense! a practised hum-bugger!" or, worse again, calling +out, "Listen to this, Mary. Is not Master Potts a cool hand? Is not this +brazening it out with a vengeance?" Such a thought was agony to me; the +very essence of my theory about life was to secure the esteem and regard +of others. I yearned after the good opinion of my fellow-men, and there +was no amount of falsehood I would not incur to obtain it. No, come what +would of it, the Croftons must not think ill of me. They must not only +believe me guiltless of ingratitude, but some one whose gratitude was +worth having. It will elevate them in their own esteem if they suppose +that the pebble they picked up in the highway turned out to be a ruby. +It will open their hearts to fresh impulses of generosity; they will +not say to each other, "Let us be more careful another time; let us be +guarded against showing attention to mere strangers; remember how we +were taken in by that fellow Potts; what a specious rascal he was,--how +plausible, how insinuating!" but rather, "We can afford to be confiding, +our experiences have taught us trustfulness. Poor Potts is a lesson that +may inspire a hopeful belief in others." How little benefit can any one +in his own individual capacity confer upon the world, but what a large +measure of good may be distributed by the way he influences others. +Thus, for instance, by one well-sustained delusion of mine, I inspire +a fund of virtues which, in my merely truthful character, I could never +pretend to originate. "Yes," thought I, "the Croftons shall continue to +esteem me; Potts shall be a beacon to guide, not a sunken rock to wreck +them." + +Thus resolving, I sat down to inform them that on my return from a +stroll, I was met by a man bearing a telegram, informing me of the dying +condition of my father's only brother, my sole relative on earth; +that, yielding only to the impulse of my affection, and not thinking of +preparation, I started on board of a steamer for Waterford, and +thence for Milford, on my way to Brighton. I vaguely hinted at great +expectations, and so on, and then, approaching the difficult problem of +Father Dyke's letter, I said, "I enclose you the priest's letter, which +amused me much. With all his shrewdness, the worthy churchman never +suspected how completely my friend Keldrum and myself had humbugged him, +nor did he discover that our little dinner and the episode that followed +it were the subjects of a wager between ourselves. His marvellous +cunning was thus for once at fault, as I shall explain to you more fully +when we meet, and prove to you that, upon this occasion at least, he was +not deceiver, but dupe!" I begged to have a line from him to the "Crown +Hotel, Brighton," and concluded. + +With this act, I felt I had done with the past, and now addressed myself +to the future. I purchased a few cheap necessaries for the road, as few +and as cheap as was well possible. I said to myself, Fortune shall lift +you from the very dust of the high-road, Potts; not one advantageous +adjunct shall aid your elevation! + +The train by which I was to leave did not start till noon, and to while +away time I took up a number of the "Times," which the "Goat" appeared +to receive at third or fourth hand. My eye fell upon that memorable +second column, in which I read the following:-- + +"Left his home in Dublin on the 8th ult, and not since been heard of, +a young gentleman, aged about twenty-two years, five feet nine and a +quarter in height, slightly formed, and rather stooped in the shoulders; +features pale and melancholy; eyes grayish, inclining to hazel; hair +light brown, and worn long behind. He had on at his departure--" + +I turned impatiently to the foot of the advertisement, and found that +to any one giving such information as might lead to his discovery was +promised a liberal reward, on application to Messrs. Potts and Co., +compounding chemists and apothecaries, Mary's Abbey. I actually grew +sick with anger as I read this. To what end was it that I built up a +glorious edifice of imaginative architecture, if by one miserable +touch of coarse fact it would crumble into clay? To what purpose did I +intrigue with Fortune to grant me a special destiny, if I were thus to +be classed with runaway traders or strayed terriers? I believe in my +heart I could better have borne all the terrors of a charge of felony +than the lowering, debasing, humiliating condition of being advertised +for on a reward. + +I had long since determined to be free as regarded the ties of country. +I now resolved to be equally so with respect to those of family. I will +be Potts no longer. I will call myself for the future--let me see--what +shall it be, that will not involve a continued exercise of memory, and +the troublesome task of unmarking my linen? I was forgetting in this +that I had none, all my wearables being left behind at the Rosary. +Something with an initial P was requisite; and after much canvassing, +I fixed on Pottinger. If by an unhappy chance I should meet one who +remembered me as Potts, I reserved the right of mildly correcting him by +saying, "Pottinger, Pottinger! the name Potts was given me when at Eton +for shortness." They tell us that amongst the days of our exultation +in life, few can compare with that in which we exchange a jacket for +a tailed coat. The spring from the tadpole to the full-grown frog, +the emancipation from boyhood into adolescence, is certainly very +fascinating. Let me assure my reader that the bound from a monosyllabic +name to a high-sounding epithet of three syllables is almost as +enchanting as this assumption of the _toga virilis_. I had often felt +the terrible brevity of Potts; I had shrunk from answering the question, +"What name, sir?" from the indescribable shame of saying "Potts;" but +Pottinger could be uttered slowly and with dignity. One could repose on +the initial syllable, as if to say, "Mark well what I am saying; this +is a name to be remembered." With that, there must have been great and +distinguished Pottingers, rich men, men of influence and acres; from +these I could at leisure select a parentage. + +"Do you go by the twelve-fifteen train, sir?" asked the waiter, breaking +in upon these meditations. "You have no time to lose, sir." + +With a start, I saw it was already past twelve; so I paid my bill with +all speed, and, taking my knapsack in my hand, hurried away to the +train. There was considerable confusion as I arrived, a crush of cabs, +watermen, and porters blocked the way, and the two currents of an +arriving and departing train struggled against and confronted each +other. Amongst those who, like myself, were bent on entering the +station-house, was a young lady in deep mourning, whose frail +proportions and delicate figure gave no prospect of resisting the shock +and conflict before her. Seeing her so destitute of all protection, I +espoused her cause, and after a valorous effort and much buffeting, I +fought her way for her to the ticket-window, but only in time to hear +the odious crash of a great bell, the bang of a glass door, and the +cry of a policeman on duty, "No more tickets, gentlemen; the train is +starting." + +"Oh! what shall I do?" cried she, in an accent of intense agony, +inadvertently addressing the words to myself: "What shall I do?" + +"There 's another train to start at three-forty," said I, consolingly. +"I hope that waiting will be no inconvenience to you. It is a slow one, +to be sure, stops everywhere, and only arrives in town at two o'clock in +the morning." + +I heard her sob,--I distinctly heard her sob behind her thick black veil +as I said this; and to offer what amount of comfort I could, I added, +"I, too, am disappointed, and obliged to await the next departure; and +if I can be of the least service in any way--" + +"Oh, no, sir! I am very grateful to you, but there is nothing--I +mean--there is no help for it!" And here her voice dropped to a mere +whisper. + +"I sincerely trust," said I, in an accent of great deference and +sympathy, "that the delay may not be the cause of grave inconvenience to +you; and although a perfect stranger, if any assistance I can offer--" + +"No, sir; there is really nothing I could ask from your kindness." It was +in turning back to bid good-bye a second time to my mother--Here her +agitation seemed to choke her, for she turned away and said no more. + +"Shall I fetch a cab for you?" I asked. "Would you like to go back till +the next train starts?" + +"Oh, by no means, sir! We live three miles from Milford; and, besides, +I could not bear--" Here again she broke down, but added, after a pause, +"It is the first time I have been away from home!" + +With a little gentle force I succeeded in inducing her to enter the +refreshment-room of the station, but she would take nothing; and after +some attempts to engage her in conversation to while away the dreary +time, I perceived that it would be a more true politeness not to obtrude +upon her sorrow; and so I lighted my cigar, and proceeded to walk up and +down the long terrace of the station. Three trunks, or rather two and +a hat-box, kept my knapsack company on the side of the tramway; and on +these I read, inscribed in a large band, "Miss K. Herbert, per steamer +'Ardent,' Ostend." I started. Was it not in that direction my own steps +were turned? Was not Blondel in Belgium, and was it not in search of him +that I was bent? "Oh, Fate!" I cried, "what subtle device of thine is +this? What wily artifice art thou now engaged in? Is this a snare, or is +it an aid? Hast thou any secret purpose in this rencontre? for with thee +there are no chances, no accidents in thy vicissitudes; all is prepared +and fitted, like a piece of door carpentry." And then I fell into +weaving a story for the young lady. She was an orphan. Her father, the +curate of the little parish she lived in, had just died, leaving herself +and her mother in direst distress. She was leaving home,--the happy +home of her childhood (I saw it all before me,--cottage, and garden, and +little lawn, with its one cow and two sheep, and the small green wicket +beside the road), and she was leaving all these to become a governess to +an upstart, mill-owning, vulgar family at Brussels. Poor thing! how my +heart bled for her! What a life of misery lay before her,--what +trials of temper and of pride! The odious children--I know they are +odious--will torture her to the quick; and Mrs. Treddles, or whatever +her detestable name is, will lead her a terrible life from jealousy; and +she 'll have to bear everything, and cry over it in secret, remembering +the once happy time in that honeysuckled porch, where poor papa used to +read Wordsworth for them. + +What a world of sorrow on every side; and how easily might it be made +otherwise! What gigantic efforts are we forever making for something +which we never live to enjoy I Striving to be freer, greater, better +governed, and more lightly taxed, and all the while forgetting that the +real secret is to be on better terms with each other,--more generous, +more forgiving, less apt to take offence or bear malice. Of mere +material goods, there is far more than we need. The table would +accommodate more than double the guests, could we only agree to sit down +in orderly fashion; but here we have one occupying three chairs, +while another crouches on the floor, and some even prefer smashing the +furniture to letting some more humbly born take a place near them. I +wish they would listen to me on this theme. I wish, instead of all this +social science humbug and art-union balderdash, they would hearken +to the voice of a plain man, saying, Are you not members of one +family,--the individuals of one household? Is it not clear to you, if +you extend the kindly affections you now reserve for the narrow circle +wherein you live to the wider area of mankind, that, while diffusing +countless blessings to others, you will yourself become better, more +charitable, more kind-hearted, wider in reach of thought, more catholic +in philanthropy? I can imagine such a world, and feel it to be a +Paradise,--a world with no social distinctions, no inequalities of +condition, and, consequently, no insolent pride of station, nor any +degrading subserviency of demeanor, no rivalries, no jealousies,--love +and benevolence everywhere. In such a sphere the calm equanimity of mind +by which great things are accomplished, would in itself constitute a +perfect heaven. No impatience of temper, no passing irritation-- + +"Where the------are you driving to, sir?" cried I, as a fellow with a +brass-bound trunk in a hand-barrow came smash against my shin. + +"Don't you see, sir, the train is just starting?" said he, hastening on; +and I now perceived that such was the case, and that I had barely time +to rush down to the pay-office and secure my ticket. + +"What class, sir?" cried the clerk. + +"Which has she taken?" said I, forgetting all save the current of my own +thoughts. + +"First or second, sir?" repeated he, impatiently. + +"Either, or both," replied I, in confusion; and he flung me back some +change and a blue card, closing the little shutter with a bang that +announced the end of all colloquy. + +"Get in, sir!" + +"Which carriage?" + +"Get in, sir!" + +"Second-class? Here you are!" called out an official, as he thrust me +almost rudely into a vile mob of travellers. + +The bell rang out, and two snorts and a scream followed, then a heave +and a jerk, and away we went As soon as I had time to look around me, I +saw that my companions were all persons of an humble order of the middle +class,--the small shopkeepers and traders, probably, of the locality we +were leaving. Their easy recognition of each other, and the natural +way their conversation took up local matters, soon satisfied me of this +fact, and reconciled me to fall back upon my own thoughts for occupation +and amusement This was with me the usual prelude to a sleep, to which +I was quietly composing myself soon after. The droppings of the +conversation around me, however, prevented this; for the talk had taken +a discussional tone, and the differences of opinion were numerous. The +question debated was, Whether a certain Sir Samuel Somebody was a great +rogue, or only unfortunate? The reasons for either opinion were well put +and defended, showing that the company, like most others of that class +in life in England, had cultivated their faculties of judgment and +investigation by the habit of attending trials or reading reports of +them in newspapers. + +After the discussion on his morality, came the question, Was he alive or +dead? + +"Sir Samuel never shot himself, sir," said a short pluffy man with an +asthma. "I 've known him for years, and I can say he was not a man to do +such an act." + +"Well, sir, the Ostrich and the United Brethren offices are both of your +opinion," said another; "they 'll not pay the policy on his life." + +"The law only recognizes death on production of the body," sagely +observed a man in shabby black, with a satin neckcloth, and whom I +afterwards perceived was regarded as a legal authority. + +"What's to be done, then, if a man be drowned at sea, or burned to a +cinder in a lime-kiln?" + +"Ay, or by what they call spontaneous combustion, that does n't leave a +shred of you?" cried three objectors in turn. + +"The law provides for these emergencies with its usual wisdom, +gentlemen. Where death may not be actually proven it can be often +inferred." + +"But who says that Sir Samuel is dead?" broke in the asthmatic man, +evidently impatient at the didactic tone of the attorney. "All we know +of the matter is a letter of his own signing, that when these lines are +read I shall be no more. Now, is that sufficient evidence of death to +induce an insurance company to hand over some eight or ten thousand +pounds to his family?" + +"I believe you might say thirty thousand, sir," suggested a mild voice +from the corner. + +"Nothing of the kind," interposed another; "the really heavy policies +on his life were held by an old Cumberland baronet, Sir Elkanah Crofton, +who first established Whalley in the iron trade. I 've heard it from my +father fifty times, when a child, that Sam Whalley entered Milford in a +fustian jacket, with all his traps in a handkerchief." + +At the mention of Sir Elkanah Crofton, my attention was quickly excited; +this was the uncle of my friends at the Rosary, and I was at once +curious to hear more of him. + +"Fustian jacket or not, he had a good head on his shoulders," remarked +one. + +"And luck, sir; luck, which is better than any head," sighed the meek +man, sorrowfully. + +"I deny that, deny it totally," broke in he of the asthma. "If Sam +Whalley hadn't been a man of first-rate order, he never could have made +that concern what it was,--the first foundry in Wales." + +"And what is it now, and where is he?" asked the attorney, triumphantly. + +"At rest, I hope," murmured the sad man. + +"Not a bit of it, sir," said the wheezing voice, in a tone of +confidence; "take _my_ word for it, he 's alive and hearty, somewhere or +other, ay, and we 'll hear of him one of these days: he 'll be smelting +metals in Africa, or cutting a canal through the Isthmus of Heaven knows +what, or prime minister of one of those rajahs in India. He's a clever +dog, and he knows it too. I saw what he thought of himself the day old +Sir Elkanah came down to Fairbridge." + +"To be sure, you were there that morning," said the attorney; "tell us +about that meeting." + +"It's soon told," resumed the other. "When Sir Elkanah Crofton arrived +at the house, we were all in the garden. Sir Samuel had taken me there +to see some tulips, which he said were the finest in Europe, except +some at the Hague. Maybe it was that the old baronet was vexed at seeing +nobody come to meet him, or that something else had crossed him, but as +he entered the garden I saw he was sorely out of temper. + +"'How d'ye do, Sir Elkanah?' said Whalley to him, coming up pleasantly. +'We scarcely expected you before dinner-time. My wife and my daughters,' +said he, introducing them; but the other only removed his hat +ceremoniously, without ever noticing them in the least. + +"'I hope you had a pleasant journey, Sir Elkanah?' said Whalley, after a +pause, while, with a short jerk of his head, he made signs to the ladies +to leave them. + +"'I trust I am not the means of breaking up a family party?' said the +other, half sarcastically. 'Is Mrs. Whalley--' + +"'Lady Whalley, with your good permission, sir,' said Samuel, stiffly. + +"'Of course; how stupid of me! I should remember you had been knighted. +And, indeed, the thought was full upon me as I came along, for I +scarcely suppose that if higher ambitions had not possessed you, I +should find the farm buildings and the outhouse in the state of ruin I +see them.' + +"'They are better by ten thousand pounds than the day on which I first +saw them; and I say it in the presence of this honest townsman here, my +neighbor,'--meaning _me_,--'that both _you_ and they were very creaky +concerns when I took you in hand.' + +"I thought the old Baronet was going to have a fit at these words, and +he caught hold of my arm and swayed backwards and forwards all the time, +his face purple with passion. + +"'Who made you, sir? who made you?' cried he, at last, with a voice +trembling with rage. + +"'The same hand that made ns all,' said the other, calmly. 'The same +wise Providence that, for his own ends, creates drones as well as bees, +and makes rickety old baronets as well as men of brains and industry.' + +"'You shall rue this insolence; it shall cost you dearly, by Heaven!' +cried out the old man, as he gripped me tighter. 'You are a witness, +sir, to the way I have been insulted. I 'll foreclose your mortgage--I +'ll call in every shilling I have advanced--I 'll sell the house over +your head--' + +"'Ay! but the head without a roof over it will hold itself higher than +your own, old man. The good faculties and good health God has given me +are worth all your title-deeds twice told. If I walk out of this town as +poor as the day I came into it, I 'll go with the calm certainty that +I can earn my bread,--a process that would be very difficult for _you_ +when you could not lend out money on interest.' + +"'Give me your arm, sir, back to the town,' said the old Baronet to me; +I feel myself too ill to go all alone.' + +"'Get him to step into the house and take something,' whispered Whalley +in my ear, as he turned away and left us. But I was afraid to propose +it; indeed, if I had, I believe the old man would have had a fit on +the spot, for he trembled from head to foot, and drew long sighs, as if +recovering out of a faint. + +"'Is there an inn near this,' asked he, where I can stop? and have you a +doctor here?' + +"'You can have both, Sir Elkanah,' said I. + +"'You know me, then?--you know who I am?' said he, hastily, as I called +him by his name. + +"'That I do, sir, and I hold my place under you; my name is Shore.' + +"'Yes, I remember,' said he, vaguely, as he moved away. When we came +to the gate on the road he turned around full and looked at the house, +overgrown with that rich red creeper that was so much admired. 'Mark my +words, my good man,' said he,--mark them well, and as sure as I live, I +'ll not leave one stone on another of that dwelling there.'" + +"He was promising more than he could perform," said the attorney. + +"I don't know that," sighed the meek man; "there's very little that +money can't do in this life." + +"And what has become of Whalley's widow,--if she be a widow?" asked one. + +"She's in a poor way. She's up at the village yonder, and, with the help +of one of her girls, she's trying to keep a children's school." + +"Lady Whalley's school?'" exclaimed one, in half sarcasm. + +"Yes; but she has taken her maiden name again since this disaster, and +calls herself Mrs. Herbert." + +"Has she more than one daughter, sir?" I asked of the last speaker. + +"Yes, there are two girls; the younger one, they tell me, is going, +or gone abroad, to take some situation or other,--a teacher, or a +governess." + +"No, sir," said the pluffy man, "Miss Kate has gone as companion to an +old widow lady at Brussels,--Mrs. Keats. I saw the letter that arranged +the terms,--a trifle less per annum than her mother gave to her maid." + +"Poor girl!" sighed the sad man. "It 's a dreary way to begin life!" + +I nodded assentingly to him, and with a smile of gratitude for his +sympathy. Indeed, the sentiment had linked me to him, and made me wish +to be beside him. The conversation now grew discursive, on the score of +all the difficulties that beset women when reduced to make efforts +for their own support; and though the speakers were men well able to +understand and pronounce upon the knotty problem, the subject did not +possess interest enough to turn my mind from the details I had just been +hearing. The name of Miss Herbert on the trunks showed me now who was +the young lady I had met, and I reproached myself bitterly with having +separated from her, and thus forfeited the occasion of befriending her +on her journey. We were to sup somewhere about eleven, and I resolved +that I would do my utmost to discover her, if in the train; and I occupied +myself now with imagining numerous pretexts for presuming to offer my +services on her behalf. She will readily comprehend the disinterested +character of my attentions. She will see that I come in no spirit of +levity, but moved by a true sympathy and the respectful sentiment of one +touched by her sorrows. I can fancy her coy diffidence giving way before +the deferential homage of my manner; and in this I really believe I +have some tact. I was not sorry to pursue this theme undisturbed by +the presence of my fellow-travellers, who had now got out at a station, +leaving me all alone to meditate and devise imaginary conversations with +Miss Herbert. I rehearsed to myself the words by which to address +her, my bow, my gesture, my faint smile, a blending of melancholy with +kindliness, my whole air a union of the deference of the stranger with +something almost fraternal. These pleasant musings were now rudely +routed by the return of my fellow-travellers, who came hurrying back to +their places at the banging summons of a great bell. + +"Everything cold, as usual. It is a perfect disgrace how the public are +treated on this line!" cried one. + +"I never think of anything but a biscuit and a glass of ale, and they +charged me elevenpence halfpenny for that." + +"The directors ought to look to this. I saw those ham-sandwiches when I +came down here last Tuesday week." + +"And though the time-table gives us fifteen minutes, I can swear, for I +laid my watch on the table, that we only got nine and a half." + +"Well, I supped heartily off that spiced round." + +"Supped, supped I Did you say you had supped here, sir?" asked I, in +anxiety. + +"Yes, sir; that last station was Trentham. They give us nothing more now +till we reach town." + +I lay back with a faint sigh, and, from that moment, took no note of +time till the guard cried "London!" + + + + +CHAPTER X. THE PERILS OF MY JOURNEY TO OSTEND. + +"Young lady in deep mourning, sir,--crape shawl and bonnet, sir," said +the official, in answer to my question, aided by a shilling fee; "the +same as asked where was the station for the Dover Line." + +"Yes, yes; that must be she." + +"Got into a cab, sir, and drove off straight for the Sou'Eastern." + +"She was quite alone?" + +"Quite, sir; but she seems used to travelling,--got her traps together +in no time, and was off in a jiffy." + +"Stupid dog!" thought I; "with every advantage position and accident +can confer, how little this fellow reads of character! In this poor, +forlorn, heart-weary orphan, he only sees something like a commercial +traveller!" + +"Any luggage, sir? Is this yours?" said he, pointing to a woolsack. + +"No," said I, haughtily; "my servants have gone forward with my luggage. +I have nothing but a knapsack." And with an air of dignity I flung +it into a hansom, and ordered the driver to set me down at the +South-Eastern. Although using every exertion, the train had just started +when I arrived, and a second time was I obliged to wait some hours at +a station. Resolving to free myself from all the captivations of that +tendency to day-dreaming,--that fatal habit of suffering my fancy to +direct my steps, as though in pursuit of some settled purpose,--I calmly +asked myself whither I was going--and for what? Before I had begun +the examination, I deemed myself a most candid, truth-observing, frank +witness, and now I discovered that I was casuistical and "dodgy" as an +Old Bailey lawyer. I was haughty and indignant at being so catechised. +My conscience, on the shallow pretext of being greatly interested about +me, was simply prying and inquisitive. Conscience is all very well when +one desires to appeal to it, and refer some distinct motive or action to +its appreciation; but it is scarcely fair, and certainly not dignified, +for conscience to go about seeking for little accusations of this kind +or that. What liberty of action is there, besides, to a man who carries +a "detective" with him wherever he goes? And lastly, conscience has the +intolerable habit of obtruding its opinion upon details, and will not +wait to judge by results. Now, when I have won the race, come in first, +amid the enthusiastic cheers of thousands, I don't care to be asked, +however privately, whether I did not practise some little bit of rather +unfair jockeyship. I never could rightly get over my dislike to the +friend who would take this liberty with me; and this is exactly the part +conscience plays, and with an insufferable air of superiority, too, as +though to say, "None of your shuffling with me, Potts! That will do all +mighty well with the outer world, but _I_ am not to be humbugged. You +never devised a scheme in your life that I was not by at the cookery, +and saw how you mixed the ingredients and stirred the pot! No, no, old +fellow, all your little secret rogueries will avail you nothing here!" + +Had these words been actually addressed to me by a living individual, I +could not have heard them more plainly than now they fell upon my ear, +uttered, besides, in a tone of cutting, sarcastic derision. "I will +stand this no longer!" cried I, springing up from my seat and flinging +my cigar angrily away. "I 'm certain no man ever accomplished any high +and great destiny in life who suffered himself to be bullied in this +wise; such irritating, pestering impertinence would destroy the temper +of a saint, and break down the courage and damp the ardor of the +boldest. Could great measures of statecraft be carried out--could +battles be won--could new continents be discovered, if at every +strait and every emergency one was to be interrupted by a low voice, +whispering, 'Is this _all_ right? Are there no flaws here? You live in a +world of frailties, Potts. You are playing at a round game, where every +one cheats a little, and where the Drogueries are never remembered +against him who wins. Bear that in your mind, and keep your cards +"up."'" + +When I was about to take my ticket, a dictum of the great moralist +struck my mind: "Desultory reading has slain its thousands and tens +of thousands;" and if desultory reading, why not infinitely more so +desultory acquaintance? Surely, our readings do not impress us as +powerfully as the actual intercourse of life. It must be so. It is +in this daily conflict with our fellow-men that we are moulded and +fashioned; and the danger is, to commingle and confuse the impressions +made upon our hearts, to cross the writing on our natures so often that +nothing remains legible! "I will guard against this peril," thought I. +"I will concentrate my intentions and travel alone." I slipped a crown +into a guard's hand, and whispered, "Put no one in here if you can help +it" As I jogged along, all by myself, I could not help feeling that one +of the highest privileges of wealth must be to be able always to buy +solitude,--to be in a position to say, "None shall invade me. The +world must contrive to go round without a kick from _me_. I am a +self-contained and self-suffering creature." If I were Rothschild, I 'd +revel in this sentiment; it places one so immeasurably above that busy +ant-hill where one sees the creatures hurrying, hastening, and +fagging "till their hearts are broken." One feels himself a superior +intelligence,--a being above the wants and cares of the work-a-day world +around him. + +"Any room here?" cried a merry voice, breaking in upon my musing; and +at the same instant a young fellow, in a gray travelling-suit and +a wideawake, flung a dressing-bag and a wrapper carelessly into the +carriage, and so recklessly as to come tumbling over me. He never +thought of apology, however, but continued his remarks to the guard, who +was evidently endeavoring to induce him to take a place elsewhere. "No, +no!" cried the young man; "I'm all right here, and the cove with the +yellow hair won't object to my smoking." + +I heard these words as I sat in the corner, and I need scarcely say how +grossly the impertinence offended me. That the privacy I had paid for +should be invaded was bad enough, but that my companion should begin +acquaintance with an insult was worse again; and so I determined on no +account, nor upon any pretext, would I hold intercourse with him, but +maintain a perfect silence and reserve so long as our journey lasted. + +There was an insufferable jauntiness and self-satisfaction in every +movement of the new arrival, even to the reckless way he pitched +into the carriage three small white canvas bags, carefully sealed and +docketed; the address--which! read--being, "To H.M.'s Minister and Envoy +at------, by the Hon. Grey Buller, Attaché, &c" So, then, this was one +of the Young Guard of Diplomacy, one of those sucking Talleyrands, +which form the hope of the Foreign Office and the terror of middle-class +English abroad. + +"Do you mind smoking?" asked he, abruptly, as he scraped his lucifer +match against the roof of the carriage, showing, by the promptitude of +his action, how little he cared for my reply. + +"I never smoke, sir, except in the carriages reserved for smokers," was +my rebukeful answer. + +"And I always do," said he, in a very easy tone. + +Not condescending to notice this rude rejoinder, I drew forth my +newspaper, and tried to occupy myself with its contents. + +"Anything new?" asked he, abruptly. + +"Not that I am aware, sir. I was about to consult the paper." + +"What paper is it?" + +"It is the 'Banner,' sir,--at your service," said I, with a sort of +sarcasm. + +"Rascally print; a vile, low, radical, mill-owning organ. Pitch it +away!" + +"Certainly not, sir. Being for _me_ and _my_ edification, I will beg to +exercise my own judgment as to how I deal with it." + +"It's deuced low, that's what it is, and that's exactly the fault of +all our daily papers. Their tone is vulgar; they reflect nothing of the +opinions one hears in society. Don't you agree with me?" + +I gave a sort of muttering dissent, and he broke in quickly,--"Perhaps +not; it's just as likely _you_ would not think them low, but take _my_ +word for it, _I'm_ right." + +I shook my head negatively, without speaking. + +"Well, now," cried he, "let us put the thing to the test Read out one of +those leaders. I don't care which, or on what subject Read it out, and +I pledge myself to show you at least one vulgarism, one flagrant outrage +on good breeding, in every third sentence." + +"I protest, sir," said I, haughtily, "I shall do no such thing. I have +come here neither to read aloud nor take up the defence of the public +press." + +"I say, look out!" cried he; "you 'll smash something in that bag you +'re kicking there. If I don't mistake, it's Bohemian glass. No, no; all +right," said he, examining the number, "it's only Yarmouth bloaters." + +"I imagined these contained despatches, sir," said I, with a look of +what he ought to have understood as withering scorn. + +"You did, did you?" cried he, with a quick laugh. "Well, I 'll bet you +a sovereign I make a better guess about _your_ pack than you 've done +about _mine_." + +"Done, sir; I take you," said I, quickly. + +"Well; you 're in cutlery, or hardware, or lace goods, or ribbons, or +alpaca cloth, or drugs, ain't you?" + +"I am not, sir," was my stern reply. + +"Not a bagman?" + +"Not a bagman, sir." + +"Well, you 're an usher in a commercial academy, or 'our own +correspondent,' or a telegraph clerk?" + +"I 'm none of these, sir. And I now beg to remind you, that instead of +one guess, you have made about a dozen." + +"Well, you 've won, there's no denying it," said he, taking a sovereign +from his waistcoat-pocket and handing it to me. "It's deuced odd how +I should be mistaken. I 'd have sworn you were a bagman!" But for the +impertinence of these last words I should have declined to accept his +lost bet, but I took it now as a sort of vindication of my wounded +feelings. "Now it's all over and ended," said he, calmly, "what are +you? I don't ask out of any impertinent curiosity, but that I hate being +foiled in a thing of this kind. What are you?" + +"I 'll tell you what I am, sir," said I, indignantly, for now I was +outraged beyond endurance,--"I 'll tell you, sir, what I am, and what I +feel myself,--one singularly unlucky in a travelling-companion." + +"Bet you a five-pound note you're not," broke he in. "Give you six to +five on it, in anything you like." + +"It would be a wager almost impossible to decide, sir." + +"Nothing of the kind. Let us leave it to the first pretty woman we see +at the station, the guard of the train, the fellow in the pay-office, +the stoker if you like." + +"I must own, sir, that you express a very confident opinion of your +case." + +"Will you bet?" + +"No, sir, certainly not" + +"Well, then, shut up, and say no more about it. If a man won't back his +opinion, the less he says the better." + +I lay back in my place at this, determined that no provocation should +induce me to exchange another word with him. Apparently, he had not made +a like resolve, for he went on: "It's all bosh about appearances being +deceptive, and so forth. They say 'not all gold that glitters;' my +notion is that with a fellow who really knows life, no disguise that was +ever invented will be successful: the way a man wears his hair,"--here +he looked at mine,--"the sort of gloves he has, if there be anything +peculiar in his waistcoat, and, above all, his boots. I don't believe +the devil was ever more revealed in his hoof than a snob by his shoes." +A most condemnatory glance at my extremities accompanied this speech. + +"Must I endure this sort of persecution all the way to Dover?" was the +question I asked of my misery. + +"Look out, you're on fire!" said he, with a dry laugh. And sure enough, +a spark from his cigarette had fallen on my trousers, and burned a round +hole in them. + +"Really, sir," cried I, in passionate warmth, "your conduct becomes +intolerable." + +"Well, if I knew you preferred being singed, I'd have said-nothing about +it. What's this station here? Where's your 'Bradshaw'?" + +"I have got no 'Bradshaw,' sir," said I, with dignity. + +"No 'Bradshaw '! A bagman without 'Bradshaw'! Oh, I forgot, you ain't +a bagman. Why are we stopping here? Something smashed, I suspect. Eh! +what! isn't that she? Yes, it is! Open the door!--let me out, I say! +Confound the lock!--let me out!" While he uttered these words, in an +accent of the wildest impatience, I had but time to see a lady, in deep +mourning, pass on to a carriage in front, just as, with a preliminary +snort, the train shook, then backed, and at last set out on its +thundering course again. "Such a stunning fine girl!" said he, as he +lighted a fresh cigar; "saw her just as we started, and thought I 'd run +her to earth in this carriage. Precious mistake I made, eh, was n't it? +All in black--deep black--and quite alone!" + +I had to turn towards the window not to let him perceive how his words +agitated me, for I felt certain it was Miss Herbert he was describing, +and I felt a sort of revulsion to think of the poor girl being subjected +to the impertinence of this intolerable puppy. + +"Too much style about her for a governess; and yet, somehow, she +was n't, so to say--you know what I mean--she was n't altogether _that_; +looked frightened, and people of real class never look frightened." + +"The daughter of a clergyman, probably," said I, with a tone of such +reproof as I hoped must check all levity. + +"Or a flash maid! some of them, nowadays, are wonderful swells; they 've +got an art of dressing and making-up that is really surprising." + +"I have no experience of the order, sir," said I, gravely. + +"Well, so I should say. _Your_ beat is in the haberdashery or hosiery +line, eh?" + +"Has it not yet occurred to you, sir," asked I, sternly, "that an +acquaintanceship brief as ours should exclude personalities, not to +say--" I wanted to add "impertinences;" but his gray eyes were turned +full on me, with an expression so peculiar that I faltered, and could +not get the word out. + +"Well, go on,--out with it: not to say what?" said he, calmly. + +I turned my shoulder towards him, and nestled down into my place. + +"There's a thing, now," said he, in a tone of the coolest +reflection,--"there's a thing, now, that I never could understand, and +I have never met the man to explain it. Our nation, as a nation, is just +as plucky as the French,--no one disputes it; and yet take a Frenchman +of _your_ class,--the _commis-voyageur_, or anything that way,--and you +'ll just find him as prompt on the point of honor as the best noble in +the land. He never utters an insolent speech without being ready to back +it." + +I felt as if I were choking, but I never uttered a word. + +"I remember meeting one of those fellows--traveller for some house +in the wine trade--at Avignon. It was at _table d'hote_, and I said +something slighting about Communism, and he replied, '_Monsieur, je suis +Fouriériste_, and you insult me.' Thereupon he sent me his card by the +waiter,--'Paul Déloge, for the house of Gougon, _père et fils_.' I tore +it, and threw it away, saying, 'I never drink Bordeaux wines.' 'What do +you say to a glass of Hermitage, then?' said he, and flung the contents +of his own in my face. Wasn't that very ready? _I_ call it as neat a +thing as could be." + +"And you bore that outrage," said I, in triumphant delight; "you +submitted to a flagrant insult like that at a public table?" + +"I don't know what you call 'bearing it,'" said he; "the thing was done, +and I had only to wipe my face with my napkin." + +"Nothing more?" said I, sneeringly. + +"We went out, afterwards, if you mean _that_," said he, quietly, "and he +ran me through here." As he spoke, he proceeded, in leisurely fashion, +to unbutton the wrist of his shirt, and, baring his arm midway, showed +me a pinkish cicatrice of considerable extent. "It went, the doctor +said, within a hair's-breadth of the artery." + +I made no comment upon this story. From the moment I heard it, I felt as +though I was travelling with the late Mr. Palmer, of Rugeley. I was as +it were in the company of one who never would have scrupled to dispose +of me, at any moment and in any way that his fancy suggested. My code +respecting the duel was to regard it as the last, the very last, appeal +in the direst emergency of dishonor. The men who regarded it as the +settlement of slight differences, I deemed assassins. They were no more +safe associates for peaceful citizens than a wolf was a meet companion +for a flock of South Downs. The more I ruminated on this theme, the +more indignant grew my resentment, and the question assumed the shape of +asking, "Is the great mass of mankind to be hectored and bullied by some +half-dozen scoundrels with skill at the small sword?" Little knew I that +in the ardor of my indignation I had uttered these words aloud,--spoken +them with an earnest vehemence, looking my fellow-traveller full in the +face, and frowning. + +"Scoundrel is strong, eh?" said he, slowly; "_very_ strong!" + +"Who spoke of a scoundrel?" asked I, in terror, for his confounded calm, +cold manner made my very blood run chilled. + +"Scoundrel is exactly the sort of word," added he, deliberately, "that +once uttered can only be expiated in one way. You do not give me the +impression of a very bright individual, but certainly you can understand +so much." + +I bowed a dignified assent; my heart was in my mouth as I did it, and +I could not, to save my life, have uttered a word. My predicament was +highly perilous; and all incurred by what?--that passion for adventure +that had led me forth out of a position of easy obscurity into a world +of strife, conflict, and difficulty. Why had I not stayed at home? What +foolish infatuation had ever suggested to me the Quixotism of these +wanderings? Blondel had done it all. Were it not for Blondel, I had +never met Father Dyke, talked myself into a stupid wager, lost what was +not my own; in fact, every disaster sprang out of the one before it, +just as twig adheres to branch and branch to trunk. Shall I make a clean +breast of it, and tell my companion my whole story? Shall I explain to +him that at heart I am a creature of the kindliest impulses and most +generous sympathies, that I overflow with good intentions towards my +fellows, and that the problem I am engaged to solve is how shall I +dispense most happiness? Will he comprehend me? Has he a nature +to appreciate an organization so fine and subtle as mine? Will he +understand that the fairy who endows us with our gifts at birth is +reckoned to be munificent when she withholds only one high quality, and +with me that one was courage? I mean the coarse, vulgar, combative +sort of courage that makes men prizefighters and bargees; for as to +the grander species of courage, I imagine it to be my distinguishing +feature. + +The question is, will he give me a patient hearing, for my theory +requires nice handling, and some delicacy in the developing? He may cut +me short in his bluff, abrupt way, and say, "Out with it, old fellow, +you want to sneak out of this quarrel." What am I to reply? I shall +rejoin: "Sir, let us first inquire if it be a quarrel. From the time of +Atrides down to the Crimean war, there has not been one instance of +a conflict that did not originate in misconceptions, and has not been +prolonged by delusions! Let us take the Peloponnesian war." A short +grunt beside me here cut short my argumentation. He was fast, sound +asleep, and snoring loudly. My thoughts at once suggested escape. Could +I but get away, I fancied I could find space in the world, never again +to see myself his neighbor. + +The train was whirling along between deep chalk cuttings, and at a +furious pace; to leap out was certain death. But was not the same fate +reserved for me if I remained? At last I heard the crank-crank of +the break! We were nearing a station; the earth walls at either side +receded; the view opened; a spire of a church, trees, houses appeared; +and, our speed diminishing, we came bumping, throbbing, and snorting +into a little trim garden-like spot, that at the moment seemed to me a +paradise. + +I beckoned to the guard to let me out,--to do it noiselessly I slipped a +shilling into his band. I grasped my knapsack and my wrapper, and stole +furtively away. Oh, the happiness of that moment as the door closed +without awakening him! + +"Anywhere--any carriage--what class you please," muttered I. "There, +yonder," broke I in, hastily,--"where that lady in mourning has just got +in." + +"All full there, sir," replied the man; "step in here.": And away we +went. + +My compartment contained but one passenger; he wore a gold band round +his oil-skin cap, and seemed the captain of a mail steamer, or Admiralty +agent; he merely glanced at me as I came in, and went on reading his +newspaper. + +"Going north, I suppose?" said he, bluntly, after a pause of some time. +"Going to Germany?" + +"No" said I, rather astonished at his giving me this destination. "I 'm +for Brussels." + +"We shall have a rough night of it, outside; glass is falling suddenly, +and the wind has chopped round to the southward and eastward!" + +"I'm sorry for it," said I. "I'm but an indifferent sailor." + +"Well, I 'll tell you what to do: just turn into my cabin, you 'll +have it all to yourself; lie down flat on your back the moment you +get aboard; tell the steward to give you a strong glass of +brandy-and-water--the captain's brandy say, for it is rare old stuff, +and a perfect cordial, and my name ain't Slidders if you don't sleep all +the way across." + +I really had no words for such unexpected generosity; how was I to +believe my ears at such a kind proposal of a perfect stranger? Was it +anything in my appearance that could have marked me out as an object +for these attentions? "I don't know how to thank you enough," said I, in +confusion; "and when I think that we meet now for the first time--" + +"What does that signify?" said he, in the same short way. "I 've met +pretty nigh all of you by this time. I 've been a matter of eleven years +on this station!" + +"Met pretty nigh all of us!" What does that mean? Who and what are we? +He can't mean the Pottses, for I 'm the first who ever travelled even +thus far! But I was not given leisure to follow up the inquiry, for he +went on to say how in all that time of eleven years he had never seen +threatenings of a worse night than that before us. + +"Then why venture out?" asked I, timidly. + +"They must have the bags over there; that's the reason," said he, +curtly: "besides, who's to say when he won't meet dirty weather at +sea,--one takes rough and smooth in this life, eh?" + +The observation was not remarkable for originality, but I liked it. I +like the reflective turn, no matter how beaten the path it may select +for its exercise. + +"It's a short trip,--some five or six hours at most," said he; "but +it's wonderful what ugly weather one sees in it. It's always so in these +narrow seas." + +"Yes," said I, concurringly, "these petty channels, like the small +events of our life, are often the sources of our greatest perils." + +He gave a little short grunt: it might have been assent, and it might +possibly have been a rough protest against further moralizing; at all +events, he resumed his paper, and read away without speaking. I had time +to examine him well, now, at my leisure, and there was nothing in his +face that could give me any clew to the generous nature of his offer +to me. No, he was a hard-featured, weather-beaten, rather stern sort of +man, verging on fifty seven or eight. He looked neither impulsive nor +confiding, and there was in the shape of his mouth, and the curve of the +lines around it, that peremptory and almost cruel decision that marks +the sea-captain. "Well," thought I, "I must seek the explanation of the +riddle elsewhere. The secret sympathy that moved him must have its root +in _me_; and, after all, history has never told that the dolphins +who were charmed by Orpheus were peculiar dolphins, with any special +fondness for music, or an ear for melody; they were ordinary creatures +of the deep,--fish, so to say, taken _ex-medio acervo_ of delphinity. +The marvel of their captivation lay in the spell of the enchanter. It +was the thrilling touch of _his_ fingers, the tasteful elegance of _his_ +style, the voluptuous inthralment of the sounds _he_ awakened, that +worked the miracle. This man of the sea has, therefore, been struck +by something in my air, bearing, or address; one of those mysterious +sympathies which are the hidden motives that guide half our lives, had +drawn him to me, and he said to himself, 'I like that man. I have met +more pretentious people, I have seen persons who desire to dominate and +impose more than he, but there is that about him that somehow appeals +to the instincts of my nature, and I can say I feel myself his friend +already.'" + +As I worked at my little theory, with all the ingenuity I knew how to +employ on such occasions, I perceived that he had put up his newspaper, +and was gathering together, in old traveller fashion, the odds and ends +of his baggage. + +"Here we are," said he, as we glided into the station, "and in capital +time too. Don't trouble yourself about your traps. My steward will be +here presently, and take all your things down to the packet along with +my own. Our steam is up; so lose no time in getting aboard." + +I had never less inclination to play the loiterer. The odious _attaché_ +was still in my neighborhood, and until I had got clear out of his reach +I felt anything but security. _He_, I remembered, was for Calais, so +that, by taking the Ostend boat, I was at once separating myself from +his detestable companionship. I not only, therefore, accepted the +captain's offer to leave all my effects to the charge of the steward; +but no sooner had the train stopped, than I sprang out, hastened through +the thronged station, and made at all my speed for the harbor. + +Is it to increase the impediments to quitting one's country, and, by +interposing difficulties, to give the exile additional occasion to think +twice about expatriating himself, that the way from the railroad to the +dock at Dover is made so circuitous and almost impossible to discover? +Are these obstacles invented in the spirit of those official details +which make banns on the church-door, and a delay of three weeks precede +a marriage, as though to say, Halt, impetuous youth, and bethink you +whither you are going? Are these amongst the wise precautions of a truly +paternal rule? If so, they must occasionally even transcend the original +intention, for when I reached the pier, the packet had already begun to +move, and it was only by a vigorous leap that I gained the paddle-box, +and thus scrambled on board. + +"Like every one of you," growled out my weather-beaten friend; "always +within an ace of being left behind." + +"Every one of us!" muttered I. "What can he have known of the Potts +family, that he dares to describe us thus characteristically? And who +ever presumed to call us loiterers or sluggards?" + +"Step down below, as I told you," whispered he. "It's a dirty night, and +we shall have bucketing weather outside." And with this friendly hint I +at once complied, and stole down the ladder. "Show that gentleman into +my stateroom, steward," called he out from above. "Mix him something +warm, and look after him." + +"Ay, ay, sir," was the brisk reply, as the bustling man of brandy and +basins threw open a small door, and ushered me into a little den, with +a mingled odor of tar, Stilton, and wet mackintoshes. "All to yourself +here, sir," said he, and vanished. + + + + +CHAPTER XI. A JEALOUS HUSBAND. + +I take it for granted that all special "charities" have had their origin +in some specific suffering. At least, I can aver that my first thought +on landing at Ostend was, "Why has no great philanthropist thought +of establishing such an institution as a Refuge for the Sea-sick?" +I declare this publicly, that if I ever become rich,--a consummation +which, looking to the general gentleness of my instincts, the wide +benevolence of my nature, and the kindliness of my temperament, mankind +might well rejoice at,--if, I repeat, I ever become rich, one of the +first uses of my affluence will be to endow such an establishment. +I will place it in some one of our popular ports, say Southampton. +Surrounded with all the charms of inland scenery, rich in every rustic +association, the patient shall never be reminded of the scene of his +late sufferings. A velvety turf to stroll on, with a leafy shade above +his-head, the mellow lowing of cattle in his ears, and the fragrant +odors of meadow-sweet and hawthorn around, I would recall the sufferer +from the dread memories of the slippery deck, the sea-washed stairs, or +the sleepy state-room. For the rattle of cordage, and the hoarse +trumpet of the skipper, I would substitute the song of the thrush or the +blackbird; and, instead of the thrice odious steward and his basin, I +would have trim maidens of pleasing aspect to serve him with syllabubs. +I will not go on to say the hundred device» I would employ to cheat +memory out of a gloomy record, for I treasure the hope that I may yet +live to carry out my theory, and have a copyright in my invention. + +It was with sentiments deeply tinctured by the above that I tottered, +rather than walked, towards the "Hôtel Royal." It was a bright moonlight +night, and, as if in mockery of the weather outside, as still and calm +as might be. Many a picturesque effect of light and shade met me as I +went: quaint old gables flaring in a strong flood of moonlight, showed +outlines the strangest and oddest; twinkling lamps shone out of tall, +dark-sided, old houses, from which strains of music came plaintively +enough in the night air; the sounds of a prolonged revel rose loudly +out of that deep-pillared chateau-like building in the Place, and in the +quiet alley adjoining, I could catch the low song of a mother as she +tried to sing her baby to sleep. It was all human in every touch and +strain of it And did I not drink it in with rapture? Was it not in a +transport of gratitude that I thanked Fortune for once again restoring +me to land? "O Earth, Earth!" says the Greek poet, "how art thou +interwoven with that nature that first came from thee!" Thus musing, I +reached the inn, where, though the hour was a late one, the household +was all active and astir. + +"Many passengers arrived, waiter?" said I, in the easy, careless voice +of one who would not own to sea-sickness. + +"Very few, sir; the severe weather has deterred several from venturing +across." + +"Any ladies?" + +"Only one, sir; and, poor thing! she seems to have suffered fearfully. +She had to be carried from the boat, and when she tried to walk +upstairs, she almost fainted. There might have been some agitation, +however, in that, for she expected some one to have met her here; and +when she heard that he had not arrived, she was completely overcome." + +"Very sad, indeed," said I, examining the _carte_ for supper. + +"Oh yes, sir; and being in deep mourning, too, and a stranger away for +the first time from her country." + +I started, and felt my heart bounding against my side. + +"What was it you said about deep mourning, and being young and +beautiful?" asked I, eagerly. + +"Only the mourning, sir,--it was only the mourning I mentioned; for she +kept her veil close down, and would not suffer her face to be seen." + +"Bashful as beautiful! modest as she is fair!" muttered I. "Do you +happen to know whither she is going?" + +"Yes, sir; her luggage is marked 'Brussels.'" + +"It is she! It is herself!" cried I, in rapture, as I turned away, lest +the fellow should notice my emotion. "When does she leave this?" + +"She seems doubtful, sir; she told the landlady that she is going +to reside at Brussels; but never having been abroad before, she is +naturally timid about travelling even so far alone." + +"Gentle creature! why should she be exposed to such hazards? Bring me +some of this fricandeau with chiccory, waiter, and a pint of Beaune; +fried potatoes too.--Would that I could tell her to fear nothing!" +thought I. "Would that I could just whisper, 'Potts is here; Potts +watches over you; Potts will be that friend, that brother, that should +have come to meet you! Sleep soundly, and with a head at ease. You are +neither friendless nor forsaken!'" I feel I must be naturally a creature +of benevolent instincts; for I am never so truly happy as when engaged +in a work of kindness. Let me but suggest to myself a labor of charity, +some occasion to sorrow with the afflicted, to rally the weak-hearted, +and to succor the wretched, and I am infinitely more delighted than +by all the blandishment of what is called "society." Men have their +allotted parts in life, just as certain fruits are meet for certain +climates. Mine was the grand comforting line. Nature meant me for a +consoler. I have none of those impulsive temperaments which make what +are called jolly fellows. I have no taste for those excesses which go +by the name of conviviality. I can, it is true, be witty, anecdotic, +and agreeable; I can spice conversation with epigram, and illustrate +argument by apt example; but my forte is tenderness. + +"Is not this veal a little tough, waiter?" said I, in gentle +remonstrance. + +"Monsieur is right," said he, bowing; "but if a morsel of cold pheasant +would be acceptable--mademoiselle, the lady in mourning, has just taken +a wing of it--" + +"Bring it directly.--Oh, ecstasy of ecstasies! We are then, as it were, +supping together--served from the same dish!--May I have the honor?" +said I, filling ont a glass of wine and bowing respectfully And with an +air of deep devotion across the table. The pheasant was exquisite, and +I ate with an epicurean enjoyment. I called for another pint of Beaune +too. It was an occasion for some indulgence, and I could not deny +myself. No sooner had the waiter left me alone, than I burst into an +expansive acknowledgment of my happiness. "Yes, Potts," said I, "you are +richer in that temperament of yours than if you owned half California. +That boundless wealth of good intentions is a well no pumping can +exhaust. Go on doing imaginary good forever. You are never the poorer +for all the orphans you support, all the distresses you relieve. You +rescue the mariner from shipwreck without wetting your feet. You charge +at the head of a squadron without the peril of a scratch. All blessed be +the gift which can do these things!" + +You call these delusions; but is it a delusion to be a king, to deliver +a people from slavery, to carry succor to a drowning crew? I have done +all of these; that is, I have gone through every changeful mood of hope +and fear that accompanies these actions, sipping my glass of Beaune +between whiles. + +When I found myself in my bedroom I had no inclination for sleep; I +was in a mood of enjoyment too elevated for mere repose. It was so +delightful to be no longer at sea, to feel rescued from the miseries +of the rocking ship and the reeking cabin, that I would not lose the +rapture of forgetful-ness. I was in the mood for great things, too, if I +only knew what they were to be. "Ah!" thought I, suddenly, "I will write +to _her_. She shall know that she is not the friendless and forsaken +creature that she deems herself; she shall hear that, though separated +from home, friends, and country, there is one near to watch over and +protect her, and that Potts devotes himself to her service." I opened my +desk, and in all the impatience of my ardor began:-- + +"'Dear Madam,'--Quere: Ought I to say 'dear'? 'We are not acquainted, and +can I presume upon the formula that implies acquaintanceship? No. I +must omit 'dear;' and then 'madam' looks fearfully stern and rigid, +particularly when addressed to a young unmarried lady; she is certainly +not 'madam' yet, surely. I can't begin 'miss,' What a language is +ours? How cruelly fatal to all the tenderer emotions is a dialect so +matter-of-fact and formal! + +"If I could only start with 'Gentilissima Signora,' how I could get on! +What an impulse would the words lend me! What 'way on me' would they +impart for what was to follow! In our cast-metal tongue there is nothing +for it but the third person: 'The undersigned has the honor,' &c., &c. +This is chilling--it is positively repulsive. Let me see, will this +do?-- + +"'The gentleman who was fortunate enough to render you some trivial +service at the Milford station two days ago, having accidentally learned +that you are here and unprovided with a protector, in all humility +offers himself to afford you every aid and counsel in his power. No +stranger to the touching interest of your life, deeply sensible of the +delicacy that should surround your steps, if you deign to accept his +devoted services, he will endeavor to prove himself, by every sentiment +of respect, your most faithful, most humble, and most grateful servant + +"'P. S. His name is Potts.' + +"Yes, all will do but the confounded postscript. What a terrible +bathos,--'His name is Potts'! What if I say, 'One word of reply is +requested, addressed to Algernon Sydney Pottinger, at this hotel'?" + +I made a great many copies of this document, always changing something +as I went. I felt the importance of every word, and fastidiously +pondered over each expression I employed. The bright sun of morning +broke in at last upon my labors and found me still at my desk, still +composing. All done, I lay down and slept soundly. + +"Is she gone, waiter?" said I, as he entered my room with hot water. "Is +she gone?" + +"Who, sir?" asked he, in some astonishment. + +"The lady in black, who came over in the last mail-packet from Dover; +the young lady in deep mourning, who arrived all alone." + +"No, sir. She has sent all round the hotels this morning to inquire +after some one who was to have met her here, but, apparently, without +success." + +"Give her this; place it in her own hand, and, as you are leaving the +room, say, in a gentle voice: 'Is there an answer, mademoiselle?' You +understand?" + +"Well, I believe I do," said he, significantly, as he slyly pocketed the +half-Napoleon fee I had tendered for his acceptance. + +Now the fellow had thrown into his countenance--a painfully astute and +cunning face it was--one of those expressive looks which actually made +me shudder. It seemed to say, "This is a conspiracy, and we are both in +it." + +"You are not for a moment to suppose," said I, hurriedly, "that there +is one syllable in that letter which could compromise me, or wound the +delicacy of the most susceptible." + +"I am convinced that monsieur has written it with most consummate +skill," said he, with a supercilious grin, and left the room. + +How I detest the familiarity of a foreign waiter! The fellows cannot +respond to the most ordinary question without an affectation of showing +off their immense acuteness and knowledge of life. It is their eternal +boast how they read people, and with what an instinctive subtlety they +can decipher all the various characters that pass before them. Now this +impertinent lackey, who is to say what has he not imputed to me? Utterly +incapable as such a creature must necessarily be of the higher and +nobler motives that sway men of my order, he will doubtless have +ascribed to me the most base and degenerate motives. + +I was wrong in speaking one word to the fellow. I might have said, "Take +that note to Number Fourteen, and ask if there be an answer;" or, better +still, if I had never written at all, but merely sent in my card to ask +if the lady would vouchsafe to accord me an audience of a few minutes. +Yes, such would have been the discreet course; and then I might have +trusted to my manner, my tact, and a certain something in my general +bearing, to have brought the matter to a successful issue. While I thus +meditated, the waiter re-entered the room, and, cautiously closing +the door, approached me with an ostentatious pretence of secrecy and +mystery. + +"I have given her the letter," said he, in a whisper. + +"Speak up!" said I, severely; "what answer has the lady given?" + +"I think you 'll get the answer presently," said he, with a sort of grin +that actually thrilled through me. + +"You may leave the room," said I, with dignity, for I saw how the fellow +was actually revelling in the enjoyment of my confusion. + +"They were reading it over together for the third time when I came +away," said he, with a most peculiar look. + +"Whom do you mean? Who are they that you speak of?" + +"The gentleman that she was expecting. He came by the 9.40 train from +Brussels. Just in time for your note." As the wretch uttered these +words, a violent ringing of bells resounded along the corridor, and he +rushed out without waiting for more. + +I turned in haste to my note-book; various copies of my letter were +there, and I was eager to recall the expressions I had employed in +addressing her. Good heavens! what had I really written? Here were +scraps of all sorts of absurdity; poetry, too! verses to the "Fair +Victim of a Recent War," with a number of rhymes for the last word, +such as "low," "snow," "mow," &c.,--all evidences of composition under +difficulty. + +While I turned over these rough copies, the door opened, and a large, +red-faced, stern-looking man, in a suit of red-brown tweed, and with +a heavy stick in his hand, entered; he closed the door leisurely after +him, and I half thought that I saw him also turn the key in the lock. He +advanced towards me with a deliberate step, and, in a voice measured as +his gait, said,-- + +"I am Mr. Jopplyn, sir,--I am Mr. Christopher Jopplyn." + +"I am charmed to hear it, sir," said I, in some confusion, for, without +the vaguest conception of wherefore, I suspected lowering weather ahead. + +"May I offer you a chair, Mr. Jopplyn? Won't you be seated? We are going +to have a lovely day, I fancy,--a great change after yesterday." + +"Your name, sir," said he, in the same solemnity as before,--"your name +I apprehend to be Porringer?" + +"Pottinger, if you permit me; Pottinger, not Porringer." + +"It shall be as you say, sir; I am indifferent what you call yourself." +He heaved something that sounded like a hoarse sigh, and proceeded: +"I have come to settle a small account that stands between us. Is that +document your writing?" As he said this, he drew, rather theatrically, +from his breast-pocket the letter I had just written, and extended +it towards me. "I ask, sir,--and I mean you to understand that I will +suffer no prevarication,--is that document in your writing?" + +I trembled all over as I took it, and for an instant I determined to +disavow it; but in the same brief space I bethought me that my denial +would be in vain. I then tried to look boldly, and brazen it out; I +fancied to laugh it off as a mere pleasantry, and, failing in courage +for each of these, I essayed, as a last resource, the argumentative and +discussions! line, and said,-- + +"If you will favor me with an indulgent hearing for a few minutes, +Mr. Jopplyn, I trust to explain to your complete satisfaction the +circumstances of that epistle." + +"Take five, sir,--five," said he, laying a ponderous silver watch on the +table as he spoke, and pointing to the minute-hand. + +"Really, sir," said I, stung by the peremptory and dictatorial tone he +assumed, "I have yet to learn that intercourse between gentlemen is to +be regulated by clockwork, not to say that I have to inquire by what +right you ask me for this explanation." + +"One minute gone," said he, solemnly. + +"I don't care if there were fifty," said I, passionately. "I disclaim +all pretension of a perfect stranger to obtrude himself upon me, and by +the mere assumption of a pompous manner and an imposing air, to inquire +into my private affairs." + +"There are two!" said he, with the same solemnity. + +"Who is Mr. Jopplyn,--what is he to me?" cried I, in increased +excitement, "that he presents himself in my apartment like a commissary +of police? Do you imagine, sir, because I am a young man, that +this--this--impertinence "--Lord, what a gulp it cost me!--"is to pass +unpunished? Do you fancy that a red beard and a heavy walking-cane are +to strike terror into me? You may think, perhaps, that I am unarmed--" + +"Three!" said he, with a bang of his stick on the floor that made me +actually jump with the stick. + +"Leave the room, sir," said I; "it is my pleasure to be alone,--the +apartment is mine,--I am the proprietor here. A very little sense of +delicacy, a very small amount of good breeding, might show you, that +when a gentleman declines to receive company, when he shows himself +indisposed to the society of strangers--" + +"One minute more, now," said he, in a low growl; while he proceeded to +button up his coat to the neck, and make preparation for some coming +event. + +My heart was in my mouth; I gave a glance at the window; it was the +third story, and a leap out would have been fatal. What would I not +have given for one of those weapons I had so proudly proclaimed myself +possessed of! There was not even a poker in the room. I made a spring at +the bell-rope, and before he could interpose, gave one pull that, though +it brought down the cord, resounded through the whole house. + +"Time is up, Porringer," said he, slowly, as he replaced the watch in +his pocket, and grasped his murderous-looking cane. + +[Illustration: 132] + +There was a large table in the room, and I intrenched myself at once +behind this, armed with a light cane chair, while I screamed murder in +every language I could command. Failing to reach me across the table, +my assailant tried to dodge me by false starts, now at this side, now +at that. Though a large fleshy man, he was not inactive, and it required +all my quickness to escape him. These manoeuvres being unsuccessful, he +very quickly placed a chair beside the table and mounted upon it. I now +hurled my chair at him; he warded off the blow and rushed on; with one +spring I bounded under the table, reappearing at the opposite side +just as he had reached mine. These tactics we now pursued for several +minutes, when my enemy suddenly changed his attack, and, descending from +the table, he turned it on edge; the effort required strength. I seized +the moment and reached the door; I tore it open in some fashion, +gained the stairs, the court, the streets, and ran ever onward with the +wildness of one possessed with no time for thought, nor any knowledge to +guide; I turned left and right, choosing only the narrowest lanes +that presented themselves, and at last came to a dead halt at an open +drawbridge, where a crowd stood waiting to pass. + +"How is this? What's all the hurry for? Where are you running this +fashion?" cried a well-known voice. I turned, and saw the skipper of the +packet. + +"Are you armed? Can you defend me?" cried I, in terror; "or shall I leap +in and swim for it?" + +"I'll stand by you. Don't be afraid, man," said he, drawing my arm +within his; "no one shall harm you. Were they robbers?" + +"No, worse,--assassins!" said I, gulping, for I was heartily ashamed of +my terror, and determined to show "cause why" in the plural. + +"Come in here, and have a glass of something," said he, turning into a +little cabaret, with whose penetralia he seemed not unfamiliar. "You 're +all safe here," said he, as he closed the door of a little room. "Let's +hear all about it, though I half guess the story already." + +I had no difficulty in perceiving, from my companion's manner, that +he believed some sudden shock had shaken my faculties, and that my +intellects were for the time deranged; nor was it very easy for me to +assume sufficient calm to disabuse him of his error, and assert my own +perfect coherency. "You have been out for a lark," said he, laughingly. +"I see it all. You have been at one of those tea-gardens and got into a +row with some stout Fleming. All the young English go through that sort +of thing. Ain't I right?" + +"Never more mistaken in your life, Captain. My conduct since I landed +would not discredit a canon of St. Paul's. In fact, all my habits, +my tastes, my instincts, are averse to every sort of junketing. I am +essentially retiring, sensitive, And, if you will, over-fastidious in my +choice of associates. My story is simply this." My reader will readily +excuse my repeating what is already known to him. It is enough if I say +that the captain, although anything rather than mirthful, held his +hand several times over his face, and once laughed out loudly and +boisterously. + +"You don't say it was Christy Jopplyn, do you?" said he, at last. "You +don't tell me it was Jopplyn?" + +"The fellow called himself Jopplyn, but I know nothing of him beyond +that." + +"Why, he's mad jealous about that wife of his; that little woman with +the corkscrew curls, and the scorbutic face, that came over with us. +Oh! you did not see her aboard, you went below at once, I remember; but +there was, she, in her black ugly, and her old crape shawl--" + +"In mourning?" + +"Yes. Always in mourning. She never wears anything else, though Christy +goes about in colors, and not particular as to the tint, either." + +There came a cold perspiration over me as I heard these words, and +perceived that my proffer of devotion had been addressed to a married +woman, and the wife of the "most jealous man in Europe." + +"And who is this Jopplyn?" asked I, haughtily, and in all the proud +confidence of my present security. + +"He's a railway contractor,--a shrewd sort of fellow, with plenty of +money, and a good head on his shoulders; sensible on every point except +his Jealousy." + +"The man must be an idiot," said I, indignantly, "to rush +indiscriminately about the world with accusations of this kind. Who +wants to supplant him? Who seeks to rob him of the affections of his +wife?" + +"That's all very well and very specious," said he, gravely; "but if +men will deliberately set themselves down at a writing-table, hammering +their brains for fine sentiments, and toiling to find grand expressions +for their passion, it does not require that a husband should be as +jealous as Christy Jopplyn to take it badly. I don't think I'm a rash or +a hasty man, but I know what I 'd do in such a circumstance." + +"And pray, what would _you_ do?" said I, half impertinently. + +"I 'd just say,4 Look here, young gent, is this balderdash here your +hand? Well, now, eat your words. Yes, eat them. I mean what I say. Eat +up that letter, seal and all, or, by my oath, I 'll break every bone in +your skin!'" + +"It is exactly what I intend," cried a voice, hoarse with passion; and +Jopplyn himself sprang into the room, and dashed at me. + +The skipper was a most powerful man, but it required all his strength, +and not very gingerly exercised either, to hold off my enraged +adversary. "Will you be quiet, Christy?" cried he, holding him by the +throat "Will you just be quiet for one instant, or must I knock you +down?" + +"Do! do! by all means," muttered I; for I thought if he were once on the +ground, I could finish him off with a large pewter measure that stood on +the table. + +With a rough shake the skipper had at last convinced the other that +resistance was useless, and induced him to consent to a parley. + +"Let him only tell you" said he, "what he has told me, Christy." + +"Don't strike, but hear me," cried I; and safe in my stockade behind the +skipper, I recounted my mistake. + +"And _you_ believe all this?" asked Jopplyn of the skipper, when I had +finished. + +"Believe it,--I should think I do! I have known him since he was a child +that high, and I 'll answer for his good conduct and behavior." + +Heaven bless you for that bail bond, though endorsed in a lie, honest +ship-captain! and I only hope I may live to requite you for it. + +Jopplyn was appeased; but it was the suppressed wrath of a brown bear +rather than the vanquished anger of a man. He had booked himself for +something cruel, and he was miserable to be balked. Nor was I myself--I +shame to own it--an emblem of perfect forgiveness. I know nothing harder +than for a constitutionally timid man of weak proportions to forgive +the bullying superiority of brute force. It is about the greatest trial +human forgiveness can be subjected to; so that when Jopplyn, in a vulgar +spirit of reconciliation, proposed that we should go and dine with him +that day, I declined the invitation with a frigid politeness. + +"I wish I could persuade you to change your plans," said he, "and let +Mrs. J. and myself see you at six." + +"I believe I can answer for him that it is impossible," broke in the +skipper; while he added in a whisper, "They never _can_ afford any +delay; they have to put on the steam at high pressure from one end of +Europe to t' other." + +What could he possibly mean by imputing such haste to my movements, +and who were "they" with whom he thus associated me? I would have given +worlds to ask, but the presence of Jopplyn prevented me, and so I +could simply assent with a sort of foolish laugh, and a muttered "Very +true,--quite correct." + +"Indeed, how you manage to be here now, I can scarcely imagine," +continued the skipper. "The last of yours that went through this took +a roll of bread and a cold chicken with him into the train, rather than +halt to eat his supper,--but I conclude _you_ know best." + +What confounded mystification was passing through his marine intellects +I could not fathom. To what guild or brotherhood of impetuous travellers +had he ascribed me? Why should I not "take mine ease in mine inn"? +All this was very tantalizing and irritating, and pleading a pressing +engagement, I took leave of them both, and returned to the hotel. + +I was in need of rest and a little composure. The incident of the +morning had jarred my nerves and disconcerted me much. But a few hours +ago, and life had seemed to me like a flowery meadow, through which, +without path or track, one might ramble at will; now it rather presented +the aspect of a vulgar kitchen-garden, fenced in, and divided, and +partitioned off, with only a few very stony alleys to walk in. "This +boasted civilization of ours," exclaimed I, "what is it but snobbery? +Our class distinctions, our artificial intercourses, our hypocritical +professions, our deference for externals,--are they not the flimsiest +pretences that ever were fashioned? Why has no man the courage to make +short work of these, and see the world as it really is? Why has not some +one gone forth, the apostle of frankness and plain speaking, the same +to prince as to peasant? What I would like would be a ramble through the +less visited parts of Europe,--countries in which civilization slants +in just as the rays of a setting sun steal into a forest at evening. +I would buy me a horse. Oh, Blonde." thought I, suddenly, "am I not in +search of you? Is it not in the hope to recover you that I am here; and, +with you for my companion, am I not content to roam the world, taking +each incident of the way with the calm of one who asks little of his +fellow-man save a kind word as he passes, and a God-speed as he goes?" +I knew perfectly that, with any other beast for my "mount," I could +not view the scene of life with the same bland composure. A horse that +started, that tripped, that shied, reared, kicked, craned his neck, or +even shook himself, as certain of these beasts do, would have kept me in +a paroxysm of anxiety and uneasiness, the least adapted of all modes for +thoughtfulness and reflection. Like an ill-assorted union, it would have +given no time save for squabble and recrimination. But Blondel almost +seemed to understand my mission, and lent himself to its accomplishment. +There was none of the obtrusive selfishness of an ordinary horse in his +ways. He neither asked you to remark the glossiness of his skin, nor the +graceful curve of his neck; he did not passage nor curvet Superior to +the petty arts by which vulgar natures present themselves to notice, he +felt that destiny had given him a duty, and he did it. + +Thus thinking, I returned once more to the spirit which had first sent +me forth to ramble, to wander through the world, spectator, not actor; +to be with my fellow-men in sympathy, but not in action; to sorrow and +rejoice as they did, but, if possible, to understand life as a drama, +in which, so long as I was the mere audience, I could never be +painfully afflicted or seriously injured by the catastrophe: a wonderful +philosophy, but of which, up to the present, I could not boast any +pre-eminent success. + + + + +CHAPTER XII. THE DUCHY OF HESSE-KALBBRATONSTADT + +I grew impatient to leave Ostend; every association connected with the +place was unpleasant. I hope I am not unjust in my estimate of it I +sincerely desire to be neither unjust to men nor cities, but I thought +it vulgar and commonplace. I know it is hard for a watering-place to +be otherwise; there is something essentially low in the green-baize +and bathing-house existence,--in that semi-nude sociality, begun on the +sands and carried out into deep water, which I cannot abide. I abhor, +besides, a lounging population in fancy toilets, a procession of donkeys +in scarlet trappings, elderly gentlemen with pocket-telescopes, and +fierce old ladies with camp-stools. The worn-out debauchees come to +recruit for another season of turtle and whitebait; the half-faded +victims of twenty polkas per night, the tiresome politician, pale from +a long session, all fiercely bent on fresh diet and sea-breezes, are +perfect antipathies to me, and I would rather seek companionship in a +Tyrol village than amidst these wounded and missing of a London +season. With all this I wanted to get away from the vicinity of the +Jopplyns,--they were positively odious to me. Is not the man who holds +in his keeping one scrap of your handwriting which displays you in +a light of absurdity, far more your enemy than the holder of your +protested bill? I own I think so. Debt is a very human weakness; like +disease, it attacks the best and the noblest amongst us. You' may pity +the fellow that cannot meet that acceptance, you may be sorry for the +anxiety it occasions him, the fruitless running here and there, the +protestations, promises, and even lies he goes through, but no sense of +ludicrous scorn mingles with your compassion, none of that contemptuous +laughter with which you read a copy of absurd verses or a maudlin +love-letter. + +Imagine the difference of tone in him who says: "That's an old bill of +poor Potto's; he 'll never pay it now, and I 'm sure I 'll never ask +him." Or, "Just read those lines; would you believe that any creature +out of Ham well could descend to such miserable drivel as that? It was +one Potts who wrote it." + +I wonder, could I obtain my manuscript from Jopplyn before I started. +What pretext could I adduce for the request? While I thus pondered, I +packed up my few wearables in my knapsack and prepared for the road. +They were, indeed, a very scanty supply, and painfully suggested to +my mind the estimate that waiters and hotel-porters must form of their +owner. "Cruel world," muttered I, "whose maxim is, 'By their outsides +shall ye judge them.' Had I arrived here with a travelling-carriage and +a 'fourgon,' what respect and deference had awaited me,--how courteous +the landlord, how obliging the head-waiter! Twenty attentions which +could not be charged for in the bill had been shown me; and even had +I, in superb dignity, declined to descend from my carriage while the +post-horses were being harnessed, a levee of respectful flunkeys would +have awaited my orders. I have no doubt but there must be something very +intoxicating in all this homage. The smoke of the hecatombs must have +affected Jove as a sort of chloroform, or else he would never have sat +there sniffing them for centuries. Are you ever destined to experience +these sensations, Potts? Is there a time coming when anxious ears will +strain to catch your words, and eyes watch eagerly for your slightest +gestures? If such an era should ever come, it will be a great one for +the masses of mankind, and an evil one for snobbery. Such a lesson as I +will read the world on humility in high places, such an example will I +give of one elevated, but uncorrupted by fortune." + +"Let the carriage come to the door," said I, closing my eyes, as I sunk +into my chair in revery. "Tell my people to prepare the entire of the +'Hôtel de Belle Vue' for my arrival, and my own cook to preside in the +kitchen." + +"Is this to go by the omnibus?" said the waiter, suddenly, on entering +my room in haste. He pointed to my humble knapsack. + +"Yes," said I, in deep confusion,--"yes, that's my luggage,--at least, +all that I have here at this moment. Where is the bill? Very moderate, +indeed," muttered I, in a tone of approval. "I will take care to +recommend your house; attendance prompt, and the wines excellent." + +"Monsieur is complimentary," said the fellow, with a grin; "he only +experimented upon a 'small Beaune' at one-twenty the bottle." + +I scowled at him, and he shrank again. + +"And this _objet_ is also monsieur's," said he, taking up a small white +canvas bag which was enclosed in my railroad wrapper. + +"What is it?" cried I, taking it up. I almost fell back as I saw that +it was one of the despatch-bags of the Foreign Office, which in my hasty +departure from the Dover train I had accidentally carried off with me. +There it was, addressed to "Sir Shalley Doubleton, H.M.'s Envoy and +Minister at Hesse-Kalbbratonstadt, by the Hon. Grey Buller, Attaché," +&c. + +Here was not alone what might be construed into a theft, but what it was +well possible, might comprise one of the gravest offences against the +law: it might be high treason itself! Who would ever credit my story, +coupled as it was with the fact of my secret escape from the carriage; +my precipitate entrance into the first place I could find, not to speak +of the privacy I observed by not mixing with the passengers in the +mail packet, by keeping myself estranged from all observation in the +captain's cabin? Here, too, was the secret of the skipper's politeness +to me: he saw the bag, and believed me to be a Foreign Office messenger, +and this was his meaning, as he said, "I can answer for him, he can't +delay much here." Yes; this was the entire mystification by which I +obtained his favor, his politeness, and his protection. What was to be +done in this exigency? Had the waiter not seen the bag, and with the +instincts of his craft calmly perused the address on it, I believe--nay, +I am quite convinced--I should have burned it and its contents on +the spot. The thought of his evidence against me in the event of a +discovery, however, entirely routed this notion, and, after a brief +consideration I resolved to convey the bag to its destination, and trump +up the most plausible explanation I could of the way it came into my +possession. His Excellency, I reasoned, will doubtless be too delighted +to receive his despatches to inquire very minutely as to the means by +which they were recovered, nor is it quite impossible that he may +feel bound to mark my zeal for the public service by some token of +recognition. This was a pleasant turn to give to my thoughts, and I took +it with all the avidity of my peculiar temperament. "Yes," thought I, +"it is just out of trivial incidents like this a man's fortune is made +in life. For one man who mounts to greatness by the great entrance and +the state staircase, ten thousand slip in by _la petite Porte_. It +is, in fact, only by these chances that obscure genius obtains +acknowledgment How, for example, should this great diplomatist know +Potts if some accident should not throw them together? Raleigh flung +his laced jacket in a puddle, and for his reward he got a proud Queen's +favor. A village apothecary had the good fortune to be visiting the +state apartments at the Pavilion when George the Fourth was seized with +a fit; he bled him, brought him back to consciousness, and made him +laugh by his genial and quaint humor. The king took a fancy to him, +named him his physician, and made his fortune. I have often heard it +remarked by men who have seen much of life, that nobody, not one, goes +through the world without two or three such opportunities presenting +themselves. The careless, the indolent, the unobservant, and the idle, +either fail to remark, or are too slow to profit by them. The sharp +fellows, on the contrary, see in such incidents all that they need to +lead them to success. Into which of these categories you are to enter, +Potts, let this incident decide." + +Having by a reference to my John Murray ascertained the whereabouts of +the capital of Hesse-Kalbbratonstadt, I took my place at once on the +rail for Cologne, reading myself up on its beauty and its belongings as +I went There is, however, such a dreary sameness in these small Ducal +states, that I am ashamed to say how little I gleaned of anything +distinctive in the case before me. The reigning sovereign was, of +course, married to a Grand Duchess of Russia, and he lived at a +country-seat called Ludwig's Lust, or Carl's Lust, as it might be, "took +little interest in politics,"--how should he?--and "passed much of +his time in mechanical pursuits, in which he had attained considerable +proficiency;" in other words, he was a middle-aged gentleman, fond of +his pipe, and with a taste for carpentry. Some sort of connection with +our own royal family had been the pretext for having a resident minister +at his court, though what he was to do when he was there seemed not +so easy to say. Even John, glorious John, was puzzled how to make a +respectable half-page out of his capital, though there was a dome in the +Byzantine style, with an altarpiece by Peter von Grys, the angels in +the corner being added afterwards by Hans Lûders; and there was a +Hof Theatre, and an excellent inn, the "Schwein," by Kramm, where the +sausages of home manufacture were highly recommendable, no less than a +table wine of the host's vineyard, called "Magenschmerzer," and which, +Murray adds, would doubtless, if known, find many admirers in England; +and lastly, but far from leastly, there was a Music Garten, where +popular pieces were performed very finely by an excellent German band, +and to which promenade all the fashion of the capital nightly resorted. + +I give you all these details, respected reader, just as I got them in my +"Northern Germany," and not intending to obtrude any further description +of my own upon you; for who, I would ask, could amplify upon his +Handbook? What remains to be noted after John has taken the inventory? +Has he forgotten a nail or a saint's shin-bone? With him for a guide, a +man may feel that he has done his Em-ope conscientiously; and though it +be hard to treasure up all the hard names of poets, painters, priests, +and warriors, it is not worse than botany, and about as profitable. + +For the same reason that I have given above, I spare my reader all +the circumstances of my journey, my difficulties about carriage, my +embarrassments about steamboats and cab fares, which were all of the +order that Brown and Jones have experienced, are experiencing, and will +continue to experience, till the arrival of that millenary period when +we shall all converse in any tongue we please. + +It was at nightfall that I drove into Kalbbratonstadt, my postilion +announcing my advent at the gates, and all the way to the Platz where +the inn stood, by a volley of whip-crackings which might have announced +a Grand-Duke or a prima donna. Some casements were hastily opened, as +we rumbled along, and the guests of a _café_ issued hurriedly into +the street to watch us; but these demonstrations over, I gained the +"Schwein" without further notice, and descended. + +Herr Krainm looked suspiciously at the small amount of luggage of the +traveller who arrived by "extra post," but, like an honest German, he +was not one to form rash judgments, and so he showed me to a comfortable +apartment, and took my orders for supper in all respectfulness. +He waited upon me also at my meal, and gave me opportunity for +conversation. While I ate my Carbonade mit Kartoffel-Salad, therefore, I +learned that, being already nine o'clock, it was far too late an hour +to present myself at the English Embassy,--for so he designated our +minister's residence; that, at this advanced period of the night there +were but few citizens out of their beds: the Ducal candle was always +extinguished at half-past eight, and only roisterers and revellers kept +it up much later. My first surprise over, I owned I liked all this. +It smacked of that simple patriarchal existence I had so long yearned +after. Let the learned explain it, but there is, I assert, something in +the early hours of a people that guarantee habits of simplicity, thrift, +and order. It is all very well to say that people can be as wicked at +eight in the evening as at two or three in the morning; that crime cares +little for the clock, nor does vice respect the chronometer; but does +experience confirm this, and are not the small hours notorious for the +smallest moralities? The Grand-Duke, who is fast asleep at nine, is +scarcely disturbed by dreams of cruelties to his people. The police +minister, who takes his bedroom candle at the same hour, is seldom +harassed by devising new schemes of torture for his victims. I suffered +my host to talk largely of his town and its people; and probably such +a listener rarely presented himself, for he certainly improved the +occasion. He assured me, with a gravity that vouched for the conviction, +that the capital, though by no means so dear as London or Paris, +contained much, if not all, these more pretentions cities could boast. +There was a court, a theatre, a promenade, a public fountain, and a new +jail, one of the largest in all Germany. Jenny Lind had once sung at the +opera on her way to Vienna; and to prove how they sympathized in every +respect with greater centres of population, when the cholera raged at +Berlin, they, too, lost about four hundred of their townsfolk. Lastly, +he mentioned, and this boastfully, that though neither wanting organs +of public opinion, nor men of adequate ability to guide them, the +Kalbbratoners had never mixed themselves up in politics, but proudly +maintained that calm and dignified attitude which Europe would one day +appreciate; that is, if she ever arrived at the crowning knowledge of +the benefit of letting her differences be decided by some impartial +umpire. + +More than once, as I heard him, I muttered to myself, "Potts, this is +the very spot you have sought for; here is all the tranquil simplicity +of the village, with the elevated culture of a great city. Here +are sages and philosophers clad in homespun, Beauty herself in +linsey-woolsey. Here there are no vulgar rivalries of riches, no +contests in fine clothes, no opposing armies of yellow plush. Men are +great by their faculties, not in their flunkeys. How elevated must be +the tone of their thoughts, the style of their conversation! and what a +lucky accident it was that led you to that goal to which all your wishes +and hopes have been converging!--For how much can a man live--a single +gentleman like myself--here in your city?" asked I of my host. + +He sat down at this, and, filling himself a large goblet of my +wine,--the last in the bottle,--he prepared for a lengthy _séance_. + +"First of all," said he, "how would he wish to live? Would he desire +to mingle in our best circles, equal to any in Europe, to know Herr von +Krugwitz, and the Gnadige Frau von Steinhaltz?" + +"Well," thought I, "these be fair ambitions." And I said, "Yes, both of +them." + +"And to be on the list of the court dinners? There are two yearly, one +at Easter, the other on his Highness's birthday, whom may Providence +long protect!" + +To this also might he aspire. + +"And to have a stall at the Grand Opera, and a carriage to return +visits--twice in carnival time--and to live in a handsome quarter, and +dine every day at our _table d'hote_ here with General von Beulwitz and +the Hof rath von Schlaff-richter? A life like this is costly, and would +scarcely be comprised under two thousand florins a year." + +How my heart bounded at the notion of refinement, culture, elevated +minds, and polished habits; "science," indeed, and the "musical +glasses," all for one hundred and sixty pounds per annum. + +"It is not improbable that you will see me your guest for many a day +to come," said I, as I ordered another bottle, and of a more generous +vintage, to honor the occasion. + +My host offered no opposition to my convivial projects; nay, he aided +them by saying,-- + +"If you have really an appreciation for something super-excellent in +wine, and wish to taste what Freiligrath calls 'der Deutschen Nectar,' I +'ll go and fetch you a bottle." + +"Bring it by all means," said I. And away he went on his mission. + +"Providence blessed me with two hands," said he, as he re-entered the +room, "and I have brought two flasks of Lieb Herzentbaler." + +There is something very artistic in the way your picture-dealer, having +brushed away the dust from a Mieris or a Gerard Dow, places the work in +a favorite light before you, and then stands to watch the effect on your +countenance. So, too, will your man of rare manuscripts and illuminated +missals offer to your notice some illegible treasure of the fourth +century; but these are nothing to the mysterious solemnity of him who, +uncorking a bottle of rare wine, waits to note the varying sensations of +your first enjoyment down to your perfect ecstasy. + +I tried to perform my part of the piece with credit: I looked long +at the amber-colored liquor in the glass; I sniffed it and smiled +approvingly; the host smiled too, and said, "Ja!" Not another syllable +did he utter, but how expressive was that "Ja!" "Ja!" meant, "You are +right, Potts, it is the veritable wine of 1764, bottled for the Herzog +Ludwig's marriage; every drop of it is priceless. Mark the odor, how it +perfumes the air around us; regard the color--the golden hair of Venus +can alone rival it; see how the oily globules cling to the glass!" "Ja!" +meant all this, and more. + +As I drank off my glass, I was sorely puzzled by the precise expression +in which to couch my approval; but he supplied it and said, "Is it not +Gôttlich?" and I said it _was_ Gôttlich; and while we finished the +two bottles, this solitary phrase sufficed for converse between +us, "Gôttlich!" being uttered by each as he drained his glass, and +"Gôttlich!" being re-echoed by his companion. + +There is great wisdom in reducing our admiration to a word; giving, +as it were, a cognate number to our estimate of anything. Wherever we +amplify, we usually blunder: we employ epithets that disagree, or, in +even less questionable taste, soar into extravagances that are absurd. +Besides, our moods of highest enjoyment are not such as dispose to +talkativeness; the ecstasy that is most enthralling is self-contained. +Who, on looking at a glorious landscape, does not feel the insufferable +bathos of the descriptive enthusiast beside him? How grateful would +he own himself if he would be satisfied with one word for his +admiration! And if one needs this calm repose, this unbroken peace, for +the enjoyment of scenery, equally is it applicable to our appreciation +of a curious wine. I have no recollection that any further conversation +passed between us, but I have never ceased, and most probably never +shall cease, to have a perfect memory of the pleasant ramble of my +thoughts as I sat there sipping, sipping. I pondered long over a plan +of settling down in this place for life, by what means I could realize. +sufficient to live in that elevated sphere the host spoke of. If Potts +père--I mean my father--were to learn that I were received in the +highest circles, admitted to all that was most socially exclusive, would +he be induced to make an adequate provision for me? He was an ambitious +and a worldly man; would he see in these beginnings of mine the seeds of +future greatness? Fathers, I well knew, are splendidly generous to +their successful children, and "the poor they send empty away." It is +so pleasant to aid him who does not need assistance, and such a hopeless +task to be always saving him who _will_ be drowned. + +My first care, therefore, should be to impress upon my parent the +appropriateness of his contributing his share to what already was an +accomplished success. "Wishing, as the French say, to make you a part in +my triumph, dear father, I write these lines." How I picture him to my +mind's eye as he reads this, running frantically about to his neighbors, +and saying, "I have got a letter from Algy,--strange boy,--but as I +always foresaw, with great stuff in him, very remarkable abilities. See +what he has done,--struck out a perfect line of his own in life; just +the sort of thing genius alone can do. He went off from this one' +morning by way of a day's excursion, never returned,--never wrote. All +my efforts to trace him were in vain. I advertised, and offered rewards, +did everything, without success; and now, after all this long interval, +comes a letter by this morning's post to tell me that he is well, happy, +and prosperous. He is settled, it appears, in a German capital with a +hard name, a charming spot, with every accessory of enjoyment in it: +men of the highest culture, and women of most graceful and attractive +manner; as he himself writes, 'the elegance of a Parisian _salon_ added +to the wisdom of the professor's cabinet.' Here is Algy living with all +that is highest in rank and most distinguished in station; the favored +guest of the Prince, the bosom friend of the English minister; his +advice sought for, his counsel asked in every difficulty; trusted in the +most important state offices, and taken into the most secret counsels +of the duchy. Though the requirements of his station make heavy demands +upon his means, very little help from me will enable him to maintain +a position which a few years more will have consolidated into a rank +recognized throughout Europe." Would the flintiest of fathers, would the +most primitive rock-hearted of parents, resist an appeal like this? It +is no hand to rescue from the waves is sought, but a little finger to +help to affluence. "Of course you 'll do it, Potts, and do it liberally; +the boy is a credit to you. He will place your name where you never +dreamed to see it. What do you mean to settle on him? Above all things, +no stinginess; don't disgust him." + +I hear these and such-like on every hand; even the most close-fisted and +miserly of our acquaintances will be generous of their friend's money; +and I think I hear the sage remarks with which they season advice with +touching allusions to that well-known ship that was lost for want of a +small outlay in tar. "Come down handsomely, Potts," says a resolute man, +who has sworn never to pay a sixpence of his son's debts. "What better +use can we make of our hoardings than to render our young people happy?" +I don't like the man who says this, but I like his sentiments; and I +am much pleased when he goes on to remark that "there is no such good +investment as what establishes a successful son. Be proud of the boy, +Potts, and thank your stars that he had a soul above senna, and a spirit +above sal volatile!" + +As I invent all this play of dialogue for myself, and picture the speakers +before me, I come at last to a small peevish little fellow named Lynch, +a merchant tailor, who lived next door to us, and enjoyed much of my +father's confidence. "So they tell me you have heard from that runaway +of yours, Potts. Is it true? What face does he put upon his disgraceful +conduct? What became of the livery-stable-keeper's horse? Did he sell +him, or ride him to death? A bad business if he should ever come back +again, which, of course, he's too wise for. And where is he now, and +what is he at?" + +"You may read this letter, Mr. Lynch," replies my father; "he is one who +can speak for himself." And Lynch reads and sniggers, and reads again. +I see him as plainly as if he were but a yard from me. "I never heard +of this ducal capital before," he begins, "but I suppose it's like the +rest of them,--little obscure dens of pretentious poverty, plenty of +ceremony, and very little to eat. How did he find it out? What brought +him there?" + +"You have this letter before you, sir," says my parent, proudly. +"Algernon Sydney is, I imagine, quite competent to explain what relates +to his own affairs." + +"Oh, perfectly, perfectly; only that I can't really make out how he +first came to this place, nor what it is that he does there now that +he's in it." + +My father hastily snatches the letter from his hands, and runs his eye +rapidly along to catch the passage which shall confute the objector and +cover him with shame and confusion. He cannot find it at once. "It is +this. No, it is on this side. Very strange, very singular indeed; but as +Algernon must have told me--" Alas! no, father, he has not told you, and +for the simple reason that he does not know it himself. For though I +mentioned with becoming pride the prominent stations Irishmen now hold +in most of the great states of Europe, and pointed to O'Donnel in Spain, +MacMahon in France, and the Field-Marshal Nugent in Austria, I utterly +forgot to designate the high post occupied by Potts in the Duchy of +Hesse-Kalbbratonstadt. To determine what this should be was now of +imminent importance, and I gave myself up to the solution with a degree +of intentness and an amount of concentration that set me off sound +asleep. + +Yes, benevolent reader, I will confess it, questions of a complicated +character have always affected me, as the inside of a letter seems to +have struck Tony Lumkin,--"all buzz." I start with the most loyal desire +to be acute and penetrating; I set myself to my task with as honest +a disposition to do my best as ever man did; I say, "Now, Potts, no +self-indulgence, no skulking; here is a knotty problem, here is a case +for your best faculties in their sharpest exercise;" and if any one come +in upon me about ten minutes after this resolve, he will see a man who +could beat Sancho Panza in sleeping! + +Of course this tendency has often cost me dearly; I have missed +appointments, forgotten assignations, lost friends through it. My +character, too, has suffered, many deeming me insupportably indolent, a +sluggard quite unfit for any active employment. Others, more mercifully +hinting at some "cerebral cause," have done me equal damage; but there +happily is an obverse on the medal, and to this somnolency do I ascribe +much of the gentleness and all the romance of my nature. It is your +sleepy man is ever benevolent, he loves ease and quiet for others as for +himself. What he cultivates is the tranquil mood that leads to slumber, +and the calm that sustains it. The very operations of the mind in sleep +are broken, incoherent, undelineated,--just like the waking occupations +of an idle man; they are thoughts that cost so little to manufacture, +that he can afford to be lavish of them. And now--Good-night! + + + + +CHAPTER XIII. I CALL AT THE BRITISH LEGATION. + +Breakfast over, I took a walk through the town. Though in a measure +prepared for a scene of unbustling quietude and tranquillity, I must +own that the air of repose around, far surpassed all I had imagined. The +streets through which I sauntered were grass-grown and untrodden; the +shops were but half open; not an equipage, nor even a horseman was to be +seen. In the Platz, where a sort of fruit-market was held, a few vendors +of grapes, peaches, and melons sat under large crimson umbrellas, but +there seemed few purchasers, except a passing schoolboy, carefully +scanning the temptations in which he was about to invest his kreutzer. + +The most remarkable feature of the place, however, and it is one which, +through a certain significance, has always held its place in my memory, +was that, go where one would, the palace of the Grand-Duke was sure to +finish the view at one extremity of the street. In fact, every alley +converged to this one centre, and the royal residence stood like the +governor's chamber in a panopticon jail. There did my mind for many +a day picture him sitting like a huge spider watching the incautious +insects that permeated his web. I imagined him fat, indolent, and +apathetic, but yet, with a jailer's instincts, ever mindful of every +stir and movement of the prisoners below. With a very ordinary telescope +he must be master of everything that went on, and the humblest +incident could not escape his notice. Was it the consciousness of this +surveillance that made every one keep the house? Was it the feeling that +the "Gross Herzogliche" eye never left them, that prevented men being +abroad in the streets and about their affairs as in other places? I +half suspected this, and set to work imagining a state of society thus +scanned and scrutinized. But that the general aspect of the town so +palpably proclaimed the absence of all trade and industry, I might have +compared the whole to a glass hive; but they were all drones that dwelt +there, there was not one "busy bee" in the whole of them. + +When I rambled thus carelessly along, I came in front of a sort of +garden fenced from the street by an iron railing. The laurel and +arbutus, and even the oleander, were there, gracefully blending a varied +foliage, and contrasting in their luxuriant liberty so pleasantly with +the dull uniformity outside. Finding a gate wide open, I strolled in, +and gave myself up to the delicious enjoyment of the spot. As I was +deliberating whether this was a public garden or not, I found myself +before a long, low, villa-like building, with a colonnade in front. Over +the entrance was a large shield, which on nearer approach I recognized +to contain the arms of England. This, therefore, was the legation, the +residence of our minister, Sir Shalley Doubleton. I felt a very British +pride and satisfaction to see our representative lodged so splendidly. +With all the taxpayer's sentiment in my heart, I rejoiced to think that +he who personated the nation should, in all his belongings, typify the +wealth, the style, and the grandeur of England, and in the ardor of this +enthusiasm, I hastened back to the inn for the despatch-bag. + +Armed with this, and a card, I soon presented myself at the door. On the +card I had written, "Mr. Pottinger presents his respectful compliments, +and requests his Excellency will favor him with an audience of a few +minutes for an explanation." + +I had made up my mind to state that my servant, in removing my smaller +luggage from the train, had accidentally carried off this Foreign Office +bag, which, though at considerable inconvenience, I had travelled much +out of my way to restore in person. I had practised this explanation as +I dressed in the morning, I had twice rehearsed it to an orange-tree in +the garden, before which I had bowed till my back ached, and I fancied +myself perfect in my part. It would, I confess, have been a great relief +to me to have had only the slightest knowledge of the great personage +before whom I was about to present myself, to have known was he short or +tall, young or old, solemn or easy-mannered, had he a loud voice and an +imperious tone, or was he of the soft and silky order of his craft. I'd +have willingly entertained his "gentleman" at a moderate repast for some +information on these points, but there was no time for the inquiry, and +so I rang boldly at the bell. The door opened of itself at the summons, +and I found myself in a large hall with a plaster cast of the Laocoon, +and nothing else. I tried several of the doors on either side, but they +were all locked. A very handsome and spacious stair of white marble +led up from the middle of the hall; but I hesitated about venturing to +ascend this, and once more repaired to the bell outside, and repeated my +summons. The loud clang re-echoed through the arched hall, the open door +gave a responsive shake, and that was all. No one came; everything +was still as before. I was rather chagrined at this. The personal +inconvenience was less offensive than the feeling how foreigners would +comment on such want of propriety, what censures they would pass on such +an ill-arranged household. I rang again, this time with an energy that +made the door strike some of the plaster from the wall, and, with a +noise like cannon, "What the hangman"--I am translating--"is all this?" +cried a voice thick with passion; and, on looking up, I saw a rather +elderly man, with a quantity of curly yellow hair, frowning savagely on +me from the balcony over the stair. He made no sign of coming down, but +gazed sternly at me from his eminence. + +"Can I see his Excellency, the Minister?" said I, with dignity. + +"Not if you stop down there, not if you continue to ring the bell like +an alarm for fire, not if you won't take the trouble to come upstairs." + +I slowly began the ascent at these words, pondering what sort of a +master such a man must needs have. As I gained the top, I found myself +in front of a very short, very fat man, dressed in a suit of striped +gingham, like an over-plethoric zebra, and wheezing painfully, in part +from asthma, in part from agitation. He began again,-- + +"What the hangman do you mean by such a row? Have you no manners, no +education? Where were you brought up that you enter a dwelling-house +like a city in storm?" + +"Who is this insolent creature that dares to address me in this +wise? What ignorant menial can have so far forgotten my rank and his +insignificance?" + +"I'll tell you all that presently," said he; "there 's his Excellency's +bell." And he bustled away, as fast as his unwieldy size would permit, +to his master's room. + +I was outraged and indignant There was I, Potts,--no, +Pottinger,--Algernon Sydney Pottinger,--on my way to Italy and Greece, +turning from my direct road to consign with safety a despatch-bag which +many a less conscientious man would have chucked out of his carriage +window and forgotten; there I stood to be insulted by a miserable +stone-polishing, floor-scrubbing, carpet-twigging Haus-knecht? Was this +to be borne? Was it to be endured? Was a man of station, family, and +attainments to be the object of such indignity? + +Just as I had uttered this speech aloud, a very gentle voice addressed +me, saying,-- + +"Perhaps I can assist you? Will you be good enough to say what you +want?" + +I started suddenly, looked up, and whom should I see before me but that +Miss Herbert, the beautiful girl in deep mourning that I had met at +Milford, and who now, in the same pale loveliness, turned on me a look +of kind and gentle meaning. + +"Do you remember me?" said I, eagerly. "Do you remember the traveller--a +pale young man, with a Glengarry cap and a plaid overcoat--who met you +at Milford?" + +"Perfectly," said she, with a slight twitch about the mouth like a +struggle against a smile. "Will you allow me to repay you now for your +politeness then? Do you wish to see his Excellency?" + +I 'm not very sure what it was I replied, but I know well what was +passing through my head. If my thoughts could have spoken, it would have +been in this wise,-- + +"Angel of loveliness, I don't care a brass farthing for his Excellency. +It is not a matter of the slightest moment to me if I never set eyes on +him. Let me but speak to you, tell you the deep impression you have +made upon my heart; how, in my ardor to serve you, I have already been +involved in an altercation that might have cost me my life; how I still +treasure up the few minutes I passed beside you as the Elysian dream of +all my life--" + +"I am certain, sir," broke she in while I spoke, I repeat, I know not +what,--"I am certain, sir, that you never came here to mention all this +to his Excellency." + +There was a severe gravity in the way that she said these words that +recalled me to myself, but not to any consciousness of what I had been +saying; and so, in my utter discomfiture, I blundered out something +about the lost despatches and the cause of my coming. + +"If you 'll wait a moment here," said she, opening a door into a neatly +furnished room, "his Excellency shall hear of your wish to see him." And +before I could answer, she was gone. + +I was now alone, but in what wild perplexity and anxiety! How came +she here? What could be the meaning of her presence in this place? The +Minister was an unmarried man, so much my host had told me. How then +reconcile this fact with the presence of one who had left England but +a few days ago, as some said, to be a governess or a companion? Oh, the +agony of my doubts, the terrible agony of my dire misgivings! What +a world of iniquity do we live in, what vice and corruption are ever +around us! It was but a year or two ago, I remember, that the "Times" +newspaper had exposed the nefarious schemes of a wretch who had +deliberately invented a plan to entrap those most unprotected of all +females. The adventures of this villain had become part of the police +literature of Europe. Young and attractive creatures, induced to come +abroad by promises of the most seductive kind, had been robbed by this +man of all they possessed, and deserted here and there throughout +the Continent. I was so horror-stricken by the terrors my mind had so +suddenly conjured up, that I could not acquire the calm and coolness +requisite for a process of reasoning. My over-active imagination, as +usual, went off with me, clearing obstacles with a sweeping stride, and +steeplechasing through fact as though it were only a gallop over grass +land. + +"Poor girl, well might you look confused and overwhelmed at meeting me! +well might the flush of shame have spread over your neck and shoulders, +and well might you have hurried away from the presence of one who had +known you in the days of your happy innocence!" I am not sure that I did +n't imagine I had been her playfellow in childhood, and that we had been +brought up from infancy together. My mind then addressed itself to +the practical question, What was to be done? Was I to turn my head away +while this iniquity was being enacted? was I to go on my way, forgetting +the seeds of that misery whose terrible fruits must one day be a shame +and an open ignominy? or was I to arraign this man, great and exalted as +he was, and say to him, "Is it thus you represent before the eyes of the +foreigner the virtues of that England we boast to be the model of all +morality? Is it thus you illustrate the habits of your order? Do you +dare to profane what, by the fiction of diplomacy, is called the soil of +your country, by a life that you dare not pursue at home? The Parliament +shall hear of it; the 'Times' shall ring with it; that magnificent +institution, the common sense of England, long sick of what is called +secret diplomacy, shall learn at last to what uses are applied the wiles +and snares of this deceitful craft, its extraordinary and its private +missions, its hurried messengers with their bags of corruption--" + +I was well "into my work," and was going along slappingly, when a very +trim footman, in a nankeen jacket, said,-- + +"If you will come this way, sir, his Excellency will see you." + +He led me through three or four _salons_ handsomely furnished and +ornamented with pictures, the most conspicuous of which, in each room, +was a life-sized portrait of the same gentleman, though in a different +costume,--now in the Windsor uniform, now as a Guardsman, and, lastly, +in the full dress of the diplomatic order. I had but time to guess that +this must be his Excellency, when the servant announced me and retired. + +It is in deep shame that I own that the aspect of the princely +apartments, the silence, the implied awe of the footman's subdued +words as he spoke, had so routed all my intentions about calling his +Excellency to account that I stood in his presence timid and abashed. +It is an ignoble confession wrung out of the very heart of my snobbery, +that no sooner did I find myself before that thin, pale, gray-headed +man, who in a light silk dressing-gown and slippers sat writing away, +than I gave up my brief, and inwardly resigned my place as a counsel for +injured innocence. + +He never raised his head as I entered, but continued his occupation +without noticing me, muttering below his breath the words as they fell +from his pen. "Take a seat," said he, curtly, at last. Perceiving now +that he was fully aware of my presence, I sat down without reply. "This +bag is late, Mr. Paynter," said he, blandly, as he laid down his pen and +looked me in the face. + +"Your Excellency will permit me, _in limine_, to observe that my name is +not Paynter." + +"Possibly, sir," said he, haughtily; "but you are evidently before me +for the first time, or you would know that, like my great colleague and +friend, Prince Metternich, I have made it a rule through life never to +burden my memory with whatever can be spared it, and of these are the +patronymics of all subordinate people; for this reason, sir, and to this +end, every cook in my establishment answers to the name of Honoré, my +valet is always Pierre, my coach-. man Jacob, my groom is Charles, and +all foreign messengers I call Paynter. The original of that appellation +is, I fancy, superannuated or dead, but he lives in some twenty +successors who carry canvas reticules as well as he." + +"The method may be convenient, sir, but it is scarcely complimentary," +said I, stiffly. + +"Very convenient," said he, complacently. "All consuls I address as Mr. +Sloper. You can't fail to perceive how it saves time, and I rather think +that in the end they like it themselves. When did you leave town?" + +"I left on Saturday last. I arrived at Dover by the express train, and +it was there that the incident befell me by which I have now the honor +to stand before your Excellency." + +Instead of bestowing the slightest attention on this exordium of mine, +he had resumed his pen and was writing away glibly as before. "Nothing +new stirring, when you left?" said he, carelessly. + +"Nothing, sir. But to resume my narrative of explanation--" + +"Come to dinner, Paynter; we dine at six," said he, rising hastily; and, +opening a glass door into a conservatory, walked away, leaving me in +a mingled state of shame, anger, humiliation, and, I will state, of +ludicrous embarrassment, which I have no words to express. + +"Dinner! No," exclaimed I, "if the alternative were a hard crust and a +glass of spring water I not if I were to fast till this time to-morrow! +Dine with a man who will not condescend to acknowledge even my identity, +who will not deign to call me by my name, but only consents to regard +me as a pebble on the seashore, a blade of grass in a wide meadow! Dine +with him, to be addressed as Mr. Paynter, and to see Pierre, and +Jacob, and the rest of them looking on me as one of themselves! By what +prescriptive right does this man dare to insult those who, for aught he +can tell, are more than his equals in ability? Does the accident--and +what other can it be than accident?--of his station confer this +privilege? How would he look if one were to retort with his own +impertinence? What, for instance, if I were to say, 'I always call small +diplomatists Bluebottles! You 'll not be offended if, just for memory's +sake, I address you as Bluebottle,--Mr. Bluebottle, of course'?" + +I was in ecstasies at this thought. It seemed to vindicate all my +insulted personality, all my outraged and injured identity. "Yes," +said I, "I will dine with him; six o'clock shall see me punctual to +the minute, and determined to avenge the whole insulted family of the +Paynters. I defy him to assert that the provocation came not from _his_ +side. I dare him to show cause why I should be the butt of his humor, +any more than he of _mine_, I will be prepared to make use of his +own exact words in repelling my impertinence, and say, 'Sir, you have +exactly embodied _my_ meaning; you have to the letter expressed what +this morning I felt on being called Mr. Paynter; you have, besides +this, had the opportunity of experiencing the sort of pain such an +impertinence inflicts, and you are now in a position to guide you as to +how far you will persist in it for the future.'" + +I actually revelled in the thought of this reprisal, and longed for the +moment to come in which, indolently thrown back in my chair, I should +say, "Bluebottle, pass the Madeira," with some comment on the advantage +all the Bluebottles have in getting their wine duty free. Then, with +what sarcastic irony I should condole with him over his wearisome, dull +career, eternally writing home platitudes for blue-books, making Grotius +into bad grammar, and vamping up old Puffendorf for popular reading. +"Ain't you sick of it all, B. B.?" I should say, familiarly; "is not the +unreality of the whole thing offensive? Don't you feel that a despatch +is a sort of formula in which Madrid might be inserted for Moscow, and +what was said of Naples might be predicated for Norway?" I disputed +a long time with myself at what precise period of the entertainment +I should unmask my battery and open fire. Should it be in the +drawing-room, before dinner? Should it be immediately after the soup, +with the first glass of sherry? Ought I to wait till the dessert, and +that time when a sort of easy intimacy had been established which might +be supposed to prompt candor and frankness? Would it not be in better +taste to defer it till the servants had left the room? To expose him to +his household seemed scarcely fair. + +These were all knotty points, and I revolved them long and carefully, as +I came back to my hotel, through the same silent street. + + + + +CHAPTER XIV. SHAMEFUL NEGLECT OF A PUBLIC SERVANT. + +"Don't keep a place for me at the _table d'hôte_ to-day, Kramm," said I, +in an easy carelessness; "I dine with his Excellency. I could n't well +get off the first day, but tomorrow I promise you to pronounce upon your +good cheer." + +I suppose I am not the first man who has derived consequence from the +invitation it had cost him misery to accept. How many in this world +of snobbery have felt that the one sole recompense for long nights of +_ennui_ was the fact that their names figured amongst the distinguished +guests in the next day's "Post"? + +"It is not a grand dinner to-day, is it?" asked Kramm. + +"No, no, merely a family party; we are very old chums, and have much to +talk over." + +"You will then go in plain black, and with nothing but your +'decorations.'" + +"I will wear none," said I, "none; not even a ribbon." And I turned away +to hide the shame and mortification his suggestion had provoked. + +Punctually at six o'clock I arrived at the legation; four powdered +footmen were in the hall, and a decent-looking personage in black +preceded me up the stairs, and opened the double doors into the +drawing-room, without, however, announcing me, or paying the slightest +attention to my mention of "Mr. Pottinger." + +Laying down his newspaper as I entered, his Excellency came forward with +his hand out, and though it was the least imaginable touch, and his bow +was grandly ceremonious, his smile was courteous and his manner bland. + +"Charmed to find you know the merit of punctuality," said he. "To the +untravelled English, six means seven, or even later. You may serve +dinner, Robins. Strange weather we are having," continued he, turning to +me; "cold, raw, and uncongenial." + +We talked "barometer" till, the door opening, the _maître d'hôtel_ +announced, "His Excellency is served;" a rather unpolite mode, I +thought, of ignoring his company, and which was even more strongly +impressed by the fact that he walked in first, leaving me to follow. + +At the table a third "cover" was just being speedily removed as we +entered, a fact that smote at my heart like a blow. The dinner began, +and went on with little said; a faint question from the Minister as to +what the dish contained and a whispered reply constituted most of the +talk, and an occasional cold recommendation to me to try this or that +_entrée_. It was admirable in all its details, the cookery exquisite, +the wines delicious, but there was an oppression in the solemnity of +it all that made me sigh repeatedly. Had the butler been serving a +high mass, his motions at the sideboard could scarcely have been more +reverential. + +"If you don't object to the open air, we 'll take our coffee on the +terrace," said his Excellency; and we soon found ourselves on a most +charming elevation, surrounded on three sides with orange-trees, the +fourth opening a magnificent view over a fine landscape with the Taunus +mountains in the distance. + +"I can offer you, at least, a good cigar," said the Minister, as he +selected with great care two from a number on a silver plateau before +him. "These, I think, you will find recommendable; they are grown for +myself at Cuba, and prepared after a receipt only known to one family." + +In all this there was a dignified civility, not at all like the +impertinent freedom of his manner in the morning. He never, besides, +addressed me as Mr. Paynter; in fact, he did not advert to a name at +all, not giving me the slightest pretext for that reprisal I had come so +charged with; and, as to opening the campaign myself, I 'd as soon have +commenced acquaintance with a tiger by a pull at his tail. We were now +alone; the servants had retired, and there we sat, silently smoking our +cigars in apparent ease, but one of us, at least, in a frame of mind the +very opposite to tranquillity. + +What a rush and conflict of thought was in my head! Why had not _she_ +dined with us? Was her position such as that the presence of a stranger +became an embarrassment? Good heaven! was I to suppose this, that, +and the other? What was there in this man that so imposed on me, that +when I wanted to speak I only could sigh, and that I felt his presence +like some overpowering spell? It was that calm, self-contained, quiet +manner--cold rather than austere, courteous without cordiality--that +chilled me to the very marrow of my bones. Lecture _him_ on the private +moralities of his life! ask _him_ to render me an account of his +actions! address _him_ as Bluebottle!-- + +"With such tobacco as that, one can drink Bordeaux," said he. "Help +yourself." + +And I did help myself,--freely, repeatedly. I drank for courage, as a +man might drink from thirst or fever, or for strength in a moment +of fainting debility. The wine was exquisite, and my heart beat more +forcibly, and I felt it. + +I cannot follow very connectedly the course of events; I neither +know how the conversation glided into politics, nor what I said on +that subject. As to the steps by which I succeeded in obtaining his +Excellency's confidence, I know as little as a man does of the precise +moment in which he is wet through in a Scotch mist. I have a dim memory +of talking in a very dictatorial voice, and continually referring to +my "entrance into public life," with reference to what Peel "said," and +what the Duke "told me." + +"What's the use of writing home?" said his Excellency, in a desponding +voice. "For the last five years I have called attention to what is going +on here; nobody minds, nobody heeds it. Open any blue-book you like, and +will you find one solitary despatch from Hesse-Kalbbratonstadt?" + +"I cannot call one to mind." + +"Of course you can't. Would you believe it, when the Zeringer party +went out, and the Schlaffdorfers came in, I was rebuked--actually +rebuked--for sending off a special messenger with the news? And then +came out a despatch in cipher, which being interpreted contained this +stupid doggerel:-- + + "'Strange that men difference should be + Twixt Tweedle-dum and Tweedle-dee.' + +"I ask, sir, is it thus the affairs of a great country can be carried +on? The efforts of Russia here are incessant: a certain personage--I +will mention no names--loves caviare, he likes it fresh, there is a +special _estaffette_ established to bring it! I learned, by the most +insidious researches, his fondness for English cheese; I lost no time in +putting the fact before the cabinet I represented, that while timid men +looked tremblingly towards France, the thoughtful politician saw the +peril of Hesse-Kalbbratonstadt I urged them to lose no time: +'The Grand-Duchess has immense influence; countermine her,' said +I,--'countermine her with a Stilton;' and, would you believe it, sir, +they have not so much as sent out a Cheddar! What will the people of +England say one of these days when they learn, as learn they shall, +that at this mission here I am alone; that I have neither secretary nor +_attaché_, paid or unpaid; that since the Crimean War the whole weight +of the legation has been thrown upon me: nor is this all; but that a +systematic course of treachery--I can't call it lies--has been adopted +to entrap me, if such were possible? My despatches are unreplied to, my +questions all unanswered. I stand here with the peace of Europe in my +hands, and none to counsel nor advise me. What will you say, sir, to the +very last despatch I have received from Downing Street? It runs thus:-- + +"'I am instructed by his Lordship to inform you, that he views +with indifference your statement of the internal condition of the +grand-duchy, but is much struck by your charge for sealing-wax. + +"'I have, sir, &c.' + +"This is no longer to be endured. A public servant who has filled some +of the most responsible of official stations,--I was eleven years at +Tragotà, in the Argentine Republic; I was a _chargé_ at Oohululoo for +eight months, the only European who ever survived an autumn there; they +then sent me special to Cabanhoe to negotiate the Salt-sprat treaty; +after that--" + +Here my senses grew muddy; the gray dim light, the soft influences of +a good dinner and a sufficiency of wine, the drowsy tenor of the +Minister's voice, all conspired, and I slept as soundly as if in my bed. +My next conscious moment was as his Excellency moved his chair back, and +said,-- + +"I think a cup of tea would be pleasant; let us come into the +drawing-room." + + + + +CHAPTER XV. I LECTURE THE AMBASSADOR'S SISTER + +On entering the drawing-room, his Excellency presented me to an elderly +lady, very thin, and very wrinkled, who received me with a cold dignity, +and then went on with her crochet-work. I could not catch her name, nor, +indeed, was I thinking of it; my whole mind was bent upon the question, +Who could she be? For what object was she there? All my terrible doubts +of the morning now rushed forcibly back to my memory, and I felt that +never had I detested a human being with the hate I experienced for her. +The pretentious stiffness of her manner, the haughty self-possession +she wore, were positive outrages; and as I looked at her, I felt myself +muttering, "Don't imagine that your heavy black moiré, or your rich +falls of lace, impose upon _me_. Never fancy that this mock austerity +deceives one who reads human nature as he reads large print. I know, and +I abhor you, old woman! That a man should be to the other sex as a wolf +to the fold, the sad experience of daily life too often teaches; but +that a woman should be false to woman, that all the gentle instincts we +love to think feminine, should be debased to treachery and degraded into +snares for betrayal,--this is an offence that cries aloud to Heaven! + +"No more tea,--none!" cried I, with an energy that nearly made the +footman let the tray fall, and so far startled the old lady that she +dropped her knitting with a faint cry. As for his Excellency, he had +covered his face with the "Globe," and, I believe, was fast asleep. + +I looked about for my hat to take my leave, when a sudden thought struck +me. "I will stay. I will sit down beside this old creature, and, for +once at least in her miserable life, she shall hear from the lips of a +man a language that is not that of the debauchee. Who knows what effect +one honest word of a true-hearted man may not work? I will try, at all +events," said I, and approached her. She did not, as I expected, make +room for me on the sofa beside her, and I was, therefore, obliged to +take a chair in front. This was so far awkward that it looked formal; it +gave somewhat the character of accusation to my position, and I decided +to obviate the difficulty by assuming a light, easy, cheerful manner at +first, as though I suspected nothing. + +"It's a pleasant little capital, this Kalbbratonstadt," said I, as I lay +back in my chair. + +"Is it?" said she, dryly, without looking up from her work. + +"Well, I mean," said I, "it seems to have its reasonable share of +resources. They have their theatre, and their music garden, and their +promenades, and their drives to--to--" + +"You'll find all the names set down there," said she, handing me a copy +of Murray's "Handbook" that lay beside her. + +"I care less for names than facts, madam," said I, angrily, for her +retort had stung me, and routed all my previous intention of a smooth +approach to the fortress. "I am one of those unfashionable people who +never think the better of vice because it wears French gloves, and goes +perfumed with Ess bouquet." + +She took off her spectacles, wiped them, looked at me, and went on with +her work without speaking. + +"If I appear abrupt, madam," said I, "in this opening, it is because +the opportunity I now enjoy may never occur again, and may be of the +briefest even now. We meet by what many would call an accident,--one of +those incidents which the thoughtless call chance directed my steps to +this place; let me hope that that which seemed a hazard may bear all +the fruits of maturest combination, and that the weak words of one frail +even as yourself may not be heard by you in vain. Let me, therefore, ask +you one question,--only one,--and give me an honest answer to it." + +"You are a very singular person," said she, "and seem to have strangely +forgotten the very simple circumstance that we meet for the first time +now." + +"I know it, I feel it; and that it may also be for the last and only +time is my reason for this appeal to you. There are persons who, seeing +you here, would treat you with a mock deference, address you with a +counterfeit respect, and go their ways; who would say to their selfish +hearts, 'It is no concern of mine; why should it trouble me?' But I am +not one of these. I carry a conscience in my breast; a conscience that +holds its daily court, and will even to-morrow ask me, 'Have you been +truthful, have you been faithful? When the occasion served to warn +a fellow-creature of the shoal before him, did you cry out, "Take +soundings! you are in shallow water," or did you with slippery phrases +gloss over the peril, because it involved no danger to yourself?'" + +"Would that same conscience be kind enough to suggest that your present +conduct is an impertinence, sir?" + +"So it might, madam; just as the pilot is impertinent when he cries out, +'Hard, port! breakers ahead!'" + +"I am therefore to infer, sir," said she, with a calm dignity, "that +my approach to a secret danger--of which I can have no knowledge--is +a sufficient excuse for the employment of language on your part, that, +under a less urgent plea, had been offensive?" + +"You are," said I, boldly. + +"Speak out, then, sir, and declare what it is." + +"Nay, madam, if the warning find no echo within, my words are useless. I +have said I would ask you a question." + +"Well, sir, do so." + +"Will you answer it frankly? Will you give it all the weight and +influence it should bear, and reply to it with that truthful spirit that +conceals nothing?" + +"What is your question, sir? You had better be speedy with it, for I +don't much trust to my continued patience." + +I arose at this, and, passing behind the back of my chair, leaned my +arms on the upper rail, so as to confront her directly; and then, in the +voice of an accusing angel, I said, "Old woman, do you know where you +are going?" + +"I protest, sir," said she, rising, with an indignation I shall not +forget--"I protest, sir, you make me actually doubt if I know where I +am!" + +"Then let me tell you, madam," said I, with the voice of one determined +to strike terror into her heart--"let me tell you; and may my words have +the power to awaken you, even now, to the dreadful consequences of what +you are about!" + +"Shalley! Shalley!" cried she in amazement, "is this gentleman deranged, +or is it but the passing effect of your conviviality?" And with this she +swept out of the room, leaving me there alone, for I now perceived--what +seemed also to have escaped her--that the Minister had slipped quietly +away some time before, and was doubtless at that same moment in the +profoundest of slumbers. + +I took my departure at once. There was no leave-taking to delay me, and +I left the house in a mood little according with the spirit of one who +had partaken of its hospitalities; I am constrained to admit I was the +very reverse of satisfied with myself. It was cowardly and mean of me +to wreak my anger on that old woman, and not upon him who was the +really great offender. He it was I should have arraigned; and with the +employment of a little artifice and some tact, how terrible I might +have made even my jesting levity! how sarcastic my sneers at fashionable +vice! Affecting utter ignorance about his life and habits, I could have +incidentally thrown out little episodes of all the men who have wrecked +their fortunes by abandoned habits. I would have pointed to this man who +made a brilliant opening in the House, and that who had acquired such +celebrity at the Bar; I would have shown the rising statesman tarnished, +the future chief justice disqualified; I would have said, "Let no man, +however modest his character or unfrequented his locality, imagine that +the world takes no note of his conduct; in every class he is judged +by his peers, and you and I, Doubleton, will as assuredly be arraigned +before the bar of society as the pickpocket will be charged before the +beak!" + +I continued to revolve these and such like thoughts throughout the +entire night. The wine I had drunk fevered and excited me, and added to +that disturbed state which my own self-accusings provoked. Doubts, too, +flitted across my mind whether I ought not to have maintained a perfect +silence towards the others, and reserved all my eloquence for the poor +girl herself. I imagined myself taking her hand between both mine, +while, with averted head, she sobbed as if her heart would break, and, +saying, "Be comforted, poor stricken deer! be comforted; I know all. One +who is far from perfect himself, sorrows with and compassionates you; he +will be your friend, your adviser, your protector. I will restore you +to that home you quitted in innocence. I will bring you back to that +honeysuckled porch where your pure heart expanded in home affections." +Nothing shall equal the refined delicacy of my manner; that mingled +reserve and kindness--a sort of cross between a half-brother and a canon +of St. Paul's--shall win her over to repentance, and then to peace. How +I fancied myself at intervals of time visiting that cottage, going, +as the gardener watches some cherished plant, to gaze on the growing +strength I had nurtured, and enjoy the luxury of seeing the once +drooping flower expanding into fresh loveliness and perfume. "Yes, +Potts, this would form one of those episodes you have so often longed to +realize." And then I went on to fancy a long heroic struggle between my +love and that sentiment of respect for worldly opinion which is dear to +every man, the years of conflict wearing me down in health, but exalting +me immensely in every moral consideration. Let the hour of crowning +victory at last come, I should take her to my bosom and say, "There is +rest for thee here!" + +"His Excellency begs that you will call at the legation, as early as you +can, this morning," said a waiter, entering with the breakfast tray; and +I now perceived that I had never gone to bed, or closed my eyes during +the night. + +"How did this message come?" I asked. + +"By the chasseur of his Excellency." + +"And how addressed?" + +"'To the gentleman who dined yesterday at the legation. '" + +I asked these questions to ascertain how far he persisted in the +impertinence of giving me a name that was not mine, and I was glad to +find that on this occasion no transgression had occurred. + +I hesitated considerably about going to him. Was I to accept that +slippery morality that says, "I see no more than I please in the man +I dine with," or was I to go boldly on and denounce this offender to +himself? What if he were to say, "Potts, let us play fair; put your own +cards on the table, and let us see are you always on the square? Who is +your father? how does he live? Why have you left home, and how? What of +that horse you have--" + +"No, no, not stolen--on my honor, not stolen!" "Well, ain't it ugly? +Is n't the story one that any relating might, without even a spice of +malevolence, make marvellously disagreeable? Is the tale such as you 'd +wish to herald you into any society you desired to mix with?" It was in +this high, easy, and truly companionable style that conscience kept me +company, while I ate two eggs and a plate of buttered toast "After all," +thought I, "might it not prove a great mistake not to wait on him? +How if, in our talk over politics last night, I may have dropped +some remarkable expression, a keen appreciation of some statesman, an +extraordinary prediction of some coming crisis? Maybe it is to question +me more fully about my 'views' of the state of Europe." Now I am rather +given to "views of the state of Europe." I like that game of patience, +formed by shuffling up all the governments of the Continent, and then +seeing who is to have the most "tricks," who's to win all the kings, +and who the knaves. "Yes," thought I, "this is what he is at. These +diplomatic people are consummately clever at pumping; their great skill +consists in extracting information from others and adapting it to +their own uses. Their social condition confers the great advantage of +intercourse with whatever is remarkable for station, influence, and +ability; and I think I hear his Excellency muttering to himself, +'remarkable man that--large views--great reach of thought--wish I could +see more of him; must try what polite attentions may accomplish.' Well," +said I, with a half sigh, "it is the old story, _Sic vos non vobis_; and +I suppose it is one of the curses on Irishmen that, from Edmund Burke to +Potto, they should be doomed to cram others. I will go. What signifies +it to _me?_ I am none the poorer in dispensing my knowledge than is the +nightingale in discoursing her sweet music to the night air, and +flooding the groves with waves of melody: like _her_, I give of an +affluence that never fails me." And so I set out for the legation. + +As I walked along through the garden, a trimly-dressed French maid +passed me, turned, and repassed, with a look that had a certain +significance. "It was monsieur dined here yesterday?" said she, +interrogatively; and as I smiled assent, she handed me a very small +sealed note, and disappeared. + +It bore no address but the word "Mr.------;" a strange, not very +ceremonious direction. "But, poor girl!" thought I, "she knows me not as +Potts, but as Protector. I am not the individual, but the representative +of that wide-spread benevolence that succors the weak and consoles +the afflicted. I wonder has she been touched by my devotion? has she +imagined--oh, that she would!--that I have followed her hither, that I +have sworn a vow to rescue and to save her? Or is this note the cry of a +sorrow-struck spirit, saying, 'Come to my aid ere I perish '?" + +My fingers trembled as I broke the seal; I had to wipe a tear from my +eye ere I could begin to read. My agitation was great; it was soon to be +greater. The note contained very few words; they were these:-- + +"Sir,--I have not communicated to my brother, Sir Shafley Doubleton, +any circumstance of your unaccountable conduct yesterday evening. I hope +that my reserve will be appreciated by you, and + +"I am, your faithful servant, + +"'Martha Keats." + +I did not faint, but I sat down on the grass, sick and faint, and I +felt the great drops of cold perspiration burst out over my forehead and +temples. "So," muttered I, "the venerable person I have been lecturing +is his Excellency's own sister! My exhortations to a changed life have +been addressed to a lady doubtless as rigid in morals as austere +in manners." Though I could recall none of the words I employed, I +remembered but too well the lesson I intended to convey, and I shuddered +with disgust at my own conduct. Many a time have I heard severest +censure on the preacher who has from the pulpit scattered words of +doubtful application to the sinners beneath; but here was I making a +direct and most odious attack upon the life and habits of a lady of +immaculate behavior! Oh, it was too--too bad! A whole year of sackcloth +and ashes would not be penance for such iniquity. How could she have +forgiven it? What consummate charity enabled her to pardon an offence +so gross and so gratuitous? Or is it that she foresaw consequences so +grave, in the event of disclosure, that she dreaded to provoke them? +What might not an angry brother, in such a case, be warranted in doing? +Would the world call any vengeance exorbitant? I studied her last phrase +over and over, "I hope my reserve will be appreciated by you." This may +mean, "I reserve the charge,--I hold it over you as a bail bond for the +future; diverge ever so little from the straight road, and I will say, +'Potts, stand forward and listen to your indictment.' She may have some +terrible task in view for me, some perilous achievement, which I cannot +now refuse. This old woman may be to me as was the Old Man of the Sea to +Sinbad. I may be fated to carry her forever on my back, and the dread +of her be a living nightmare to me." "At such a price, existence has no +value," said I, in despair. "Worse even than the bondage is the feeling +that I am no longer, to my own heart, the great creature I love to +think myself. Instead of Potts the generous, the high-spirited, +the confiding, the self-denying, I am Potts the timorous, the +terror-stricken, and the slave." + +Out of my long and painful musings on the subject, I bethought me of a +course to take. I would go to her and say:-- + +"Listen to this parable. I remember once, when a member of the +phrenological club, a stupid jest was played off upon the society by +some one presenting us with the cast of a well-known murderer's skull, +and asking for our interpretations of its development. We gave them with +every care and deliberation: we pointed out the fatal protuberances of +crime, and indicated the depressions, which showed the absence of all +prudential restraints; we demonstrated all the evidences of badness that +were there, and proved that, with such a head, a man must have thought +killing no murder. The rejoinder to our politeness was a small box that +arrived by the mail, labelled, 'the original of the cast forwarded on +the 14th.' We opened it, and found a pumpkin! The foolish jester fancied +that he had cast an indelible stain upon phrenology, quite forgetting +the fact that his pumpkin had personated a skull which, had it ever +existed, would have presented the characteristics we gave it." I would +say, "Now, madam, make the application, and say, do you not rather +commend than condemn? are you not more ready to applaud than upbraid +me?" + +Second thoughts rather deterred me from this plan; the figurative line +is often dangerous with elderly people. It is just as likely she would +mistake the whole force of my illustration, and bluntly say, "I 'd beg +to remark, sir, I am not a pumpkin!" + +"No; I will not adventure on this path. There is no need that I should +ever meet her again, or, if I should, we may meet as utter strangers." +This resolve made, I arose boldly, and walked on towards the house. + +His Excellency, I learned, was at home, and had been for some time +expecting me. I found him in his morning room, in the same costume and +same occupation as on the day before. + +"There's the 'Times,'" said he, as I entered; "I shall be ready for you +presently;" and worked away without lifting his head. + +Affecting to read, I set myself to regard him with attention. Vast piles +of papers lay around him on every side; the whole table, and even the +floor at his feet, was littered with them. "Would," thought +I,--"would that these writers for the Radical press, these scurrilous +penny-a-liners who inveigh against a bloated and pampered aristocracy, +could just witness the daily life of labor of one of these spoiled +children of Fortune. Here is this man, doubtless reared in ease and +affluence, and see him, how he toils away, from sundown to dawn, +unravelling the schemes, tracing the wiles, and exposing the snares of +these crafty foreigners. Hark! he is muttering over the subtle sentence +he has just written: 'I am much grieved about Maria's little girl, but +I hope she will escape being marked by the malady.'" A groan that broke +from me here startled him, and he looked up. + +"Ah! yes, by the way, I want you, Paynter." + +"I am not Paynter, your Excellency, my name is--" + +"Of course, you have your own name for your own peculiar set; but don't +interrupt. I have a special service for you, and will put it in the +'extraordinaires.' I have taken a little villa on the Lake of Como for +my sister, but, from the pressure of political events, I am not able to +accompany her there. She is a very timid traveller, and cannot possibly +go alone. You 'll take charge of her, therefore, Paynter,--there, don't +be fussy,--you 'll take charge of her and a young lady who is with her, +and you 'll see them housed and established there. I suppose she will +prefer to travel slowly, some thirty miles or so a day, post horses +always, and strictly avoiding railroads; but you can talk it over +together yourselves. There was a Bobus to have come out--" + +"A Bobus!" + +"I mean a doctor,--I call every doctor, Bobus,--but something has +detained him, or, indeed, I believe he was drowned; at all events, he's +not come, and you 'll have to learn how to measure out ether and drop +morphine; the 'companion' will help you. And keep an account of your +expenses, Paynter,--your own expenses for F. O.,--and don't let her fall +sick at any out-of-the-way place, which she has rather a knack of doing; +and, above all, don't telegraph on any account. Come and dine,--six." + +"If you will excuse me at dinner, I shall be obliged. I have a sort of +half engagement." + +"Come in about nine, then," said he, "for she'd like to talk over some +matters. Look out for a carriage, too; I don't fancy giving mine if you +can get another. One of those great roomy German things with a cabriolet +front, for Miss--I forget her name--would prefer a place outside. Kramm, +the landlord, can help you to search for one; and let it be dusted and +aired and fumigated and the drag examined and the axles greased,--in a +word, have your brains about you, Paynter. Good-bye." Exit as before. + + + + +CHAPTER XVI. UNPLEASANT TURN TO AN AGREEABLE CONVERSE. + +There is no denying it, I have led a life of far more than ordinary +happiness. The white squares in the checker of my existence have +certainly equalled the black ones, and it is not every man can say as +much. I suspect I owe a great share of this enjoyment to temperament, +to a disposition not so much remarkable for opposing difficulties as for +deriving all the possible pleasure from any fortunate conjuncture. This +gift I know I possess. I am not one of those strong natures which, +by their intrinsic force, are ever impressing their own image on the +society they live in. I am a weak, frail, yielding creature, but my very +pliancy has given me many a partnership in emotions which, with a more +rugged temperament, I had not partaken of. When one has wept over a +friend's misfortunes and awakes to the consciousness that no ill has +befallen himself, he feels as some great millionnaire might feel who +has bestowed a thousand pounds in charity and yet knows he is never +the poorer. With the proud consciousness of this fresh title to men's +admiration, he has the secret satisfaction of knowing that he will +go clothed in purple as before, and fare to-day as sumptuously as +yesterday. Do you, most generous of readers, call this selfishness? +It is the very reverse. It is the grand culminating point of human +sympathy. + +I have a great deal more to say about myself. It is a theme I am really +fond of, but I am not exactly sure that you are like-minded, or that +this is the fittest place for it. I return to events. + +It was on a bright, breezy morning of the early autumn that a heavy old +German travelling-carriage,--a wagon!--rattled over the uneven pavement +of Kalbbratonstadt, and soon gaining one of the long forest alleys, +rolled noiselessly over the smooth sward. Within sat an elderly lady +with a due allowance of air-cushions, toy-terriers, and guide-books; in +the rumble were a man and a maid; and in the cabriolet in front were a +pale but placid girl, with large gray eyes and long lashes, and he who +now writes these lines beside her. They who had only known me a few +months back as a freshman of Trinity would not have recognized me now, +as I sat with a long-peaked travelling-cap, a courier's belt and bag at +my side, and the opening promise of a small furry moustache on my +upper lip; not to say that I had got up a sort of supercilious air of +contemptuous pity for the foreigner, which I had observed to be much in +favor with the English abroad. It cost me dear to do this, and nothing +but the consciousness that it was one of the requirements of my station +could have made me assume it, for in my heart of hearts, I revelled +in enjoyment of all around me. I liked the soft breezy balmy air, the +mellow beech wood, the grassy turf overgrown with violets, the wild +notes of the frightened wood-pigeon, the very tramp-tramp of the massive +horses, with their scarlet tassels and their jingling bells; all pleased +and interested me. Not to speak of her, who, at my side, felt a very +child's delight at every novelty of the way. + +"What would I have said to any one who, only a fortnight ago, had +promised me such happiness as this?" said I to my companion, as we drove +along, while the light branches rustled pleasantly over the roof of the +carriage, darkening the shade around us, or occasionally deluging us +with the leaves as we passed. + +"And are you then so very happy?" asked she, with a pleasant smile. + +"Can you doubt it? or rather is it that, as the emotion does not extend +to yourself, you _do_ doubt it?" + +"Oh, as for me," cried she, joyfully, "it is very different. I have +never travelled till now--seen nothing, actually nothing. The veriest +commonplaces of the road, the peasants' costumes, their wayside +cottages, the little shrines they kneel at, are all objects of +picturesque interest to me, and I am ready to exclaim at each moment, +'Oh! why cannot we stop here? shall we ever see anything so beautiful +again as this?'" + +"And hearing you talk thus, you can ask me am I so very happy!" said I, +reproachfully. + +"What I meant was, is it not stupid to have no companion of your own +turn of mind, none with whom you could talk, without condescending to +a tone beneath you, just as certain stories are reduced to words of one +syllable for little children?" + +"Mademoiselle is given to sarcasm, I see," said I, half peevishly. + +"Nothing of the kind," said she, blushing slightly. "It was in perfect +good faith. I wished you a more suitable companion. Indeed, after what I +had heard from his Excellency about you, I was terrified at the thought +of my own insufficiency." + +"And pray what _did_ he say of me?" asked I, in a flutter of delight. + +"Are you very fond of flattery?" + +"Immensely!" + +"Is it not possible that praise of you could be so exaggerated as to +make you feel ashamed?" + +"I should say, perfectly impossible; that is, to a mind regulated as +mine, over-elation could never happen. Tell me, therefore, what he +said?" + +"I can't remember one-half of it; he remarked how few men in the +career--I conclude he meant diplomacy--could compare with you; that +you had such just views about the state of Europe, such an accurate +appreciation of publie men. I can't say how many opportunities you +mustn't have had, and what valuable uses you have not put them to. In +a word, I felt that I was about to travel with a great statesman and a +consummate man of the world, and was-terrified accordingly." + +"And now that the delusion is dispelled, how do you feel?" + +"But is it dispelled? Am I not shocked with my own temerity in daring to +talk thus lightly with one so learned?" + +"If so," said I, "you conceal your embarrassment wonderfully." + +And then we both laughed; but I am not quite sure it was at the same +joke. + +"Do you know where you are going?" said I, taking out a travelling-map +as a means of diverting our conversation into some higher channel. + +"Not in the least" + +"Nor care?" + +"Nor care." + +"Well, I must say, it is a most independent frame of mind. Perhaps you +could extend this fine philosophy, and add, 'Nor with whom!'" + +I was not at all conscious of what an impertinence I had uttered till +it was out; nor, indeed, even then, till I remarked that her cheek had +become scarlet, and her eyes double as dark as their wont. + +"Yes," said she, "there is one condition for which I should certainly +stipulate,--not to travel with any one who could needlessly offend me." + +I could have cried with shame; I could have held my hand in the flame of +a fire to expiate my rude speech. And so I told her; while I assured her +at the same time, with marvellous consistency, that it was not rude at +all; that it was entirely misconception on her part; that _nous autres +diplomates_--Heaven forgive me the lying assumption!--had a way of +saying little smartnesses that don't mean much; that we often made our +coin ring on the table, though it turned out bad money when it came to +be looked at; that Talleyrand did it, and Walewsky did it, and I did +it,--we all did it! + +Now, there was one most unlucky feature in all this. It was only a few +minutes before this passage occurred, that I said to myself, "Potts, +here is one whose frank, fresh, generous nature claims all your respect +and devotion. No nonsense of your being this, that, and t'other here. Be +truthful and be honest; neither pretend to be man of fortune nor man +of fashion; own fairly to her by what chance you adventured upon this +strange life; tell her, in a word, you are the son of Potts,--Potts the +'pothecary,--and neither a hero nor a plenipotentiary!" + +I have no doubt, most amiable of readers, that nothing can seem possibly +more easy than to have done all this. You deem it the natural and +ordinary course; just as, foi instance, a merchant in good credit and +repute would feel no repugnance to calling all his creditors together to +inspect his books, and see that, though apparently solvent, he was, in +truth, utterly bankrupt. And yet there is some difficulty in doing this. +Does not the law of England expressly declare that no man need criminate +himself? Who accuses you, then, Potts? And then I bethought me of the +worthy old alderman, who, on learning that "Robinson Crusoe" was a +fiction, exclaimed, "It may be so; but I have lost the greatest pleasure +of my life in hearing it." What a profound philosophy was there in that +simple avowal! With what illusions are we not cheered on through life! +how unreal the joys that delight and the triumphs that elate us; for we +are all hypochondriacs, and are as often cured with bread pills as +with bold remedies. "Yes," thought I, "this young girl is happy in the +thought that her companion is a person of rank, station, and influence; +she feels a sort of self-elation in being associated with one endowed +with all worldly advantages. Shall I rob her of this illusion? Shall I +rudely deprive her of what imparts a charm to her existence, and gives a +sort of romantic interest to her daily life? Harsh and needless would be +the cruelty!" + +While I thus argued with myself, she had opened her guide-book, and was +eagerly reading away about the road we were travelling. "We are to halt +at Bömerstein, are we not?" asked she. + +"Yes," said I, "we rest there for the night. It is one of those little +villages of which a German writer has given us a striking picture." + +"Auerstadt," broke she in. + +"So you have read him? You read German?" + +"Yes, tolerably; that is, well enough for Schiller and Uhland, but not +well enough for Jean Paul and Goethe." + +"Never mind; trust me for a guide; you shall now venture upon both." + +"But how will you be able to give up time valuable as yours to such +teachings? Would it be fair of me, besides, to steal hours that ought to +be devoted to your country?" + +Though I had not the slightest imaginable ground to suspect any secret +sarcasm in this speech, my guilty conscience made me feel it as a +perfect torture. "She knows me," thought I, "and this sneer at my +pretended importance is intended to overwhelm me." + +"As to my country's claims," said I, haughtily, "I make light of them. +All that I have seen of life only shows the shallowness of what is +called the public service. I am resolved to leave it, and forever." + +"And for what?" + +"A life of retirement,--obscurity if you will." + +"It is what I should do if I were a man." + +"Indeed!" + +"Yes. I have often reflected over the delight I have felt in walking +through some man's demesne, revelling in the enjoyment of its leafy +solitude, its dreary shade, its sunlit vistas, and I have thought, 'If +all these things, not one of which are mine, can bring such pleasure +to my heart, why should I not adopt the same philosophy in life, and +be satisfied with enjoying without possessing? A very humble lot would +suffice for one, nothing but great success could achieve the other.'" + +"What becomes, then, of that great stimulus to good they call labor?" + +"Oh, I should labor, too. I 'd work at whatever I was equal to. I 'd +sew, and knit, and till my garden, and be as useful as possible." + +"And I would write," said I, enthusiastically, as though I were plotting +out my share in this garden of Eden. "I would write all sorts of things: +reviews, and histories, and stories, and short poems, and, last of all, +the 'Confessions of Algernon Sydney Potts.'" + +"Oh, what a shocking title! How could such names have met together? That +shocking epithet Potts would vulgarize it all!" + +"I really cannot agree with you," said I, angrily. "Without," said she, +"you meant it for a sort of quiz; and that Potts was to be a creature of +absurdity and folly, a pretender and a snob." + +I felt as if I was choking with passion; but I tried to laugh, and say, +"Yes, of course." + +"That would be good fun enough," went she on. "I 'd like, if I could, +to contribute to that. You should invent the situations, and leave me +occasionally to supply the reflective part." + +"It would be charming; quite delightful." + +"Shall we do it, then-? Let us try it, by all means. We might begin by +imagining Potts in search of this, that, or t'other,--love, happiness, +solitude, climate, scenery, anything, in short. Let us fancy him on a +journey, try and personate him; that would be the real way. Do you, for +instance, be Potts, and I 'll be his sister Susan. It will be the best +fun in the world, as we go along, to see everything, note everything, +and discuss everything Potts-wise." + +"It would be too ridiculous, too absurd," said I, sick with anger. + +"Not a bit; we are travelling with our old grandmother, we are making +the tour of Europe, and keeping our journal. Every evening we compare +notes of what we have seen. Pray do so; I 'm quite wild to try it." + +"Really," said I, gravely, "it is a sort of trifling I should find it +very difficult to descend to. I see no reason, besides, to associate the +name of Potts with what you are pleased to call snobbery!" + +"Could you help it? Could you, with all the best will in the world, +make Potts a man of distinction? Would n't he, in spite of you, be low, +vulgar, inquisitive, and obtrusive? Wouldn't you find him thrusting +himself forward, twenty times a day, into positions he had no right to? +Would n't the creature be a butt and a dupe--" + +"Shall I own," burst I in, "that it gives me no exalted idea of your +taste, if I find that you select for ridicule a person on the mere +showing that his name is a monosyllable? And, once for all, I repudiate +all share in the scheme, and beg that I may not hear more of it." + +I turned away as I said this. She resumed her book, and we spoke no more +to each other till we reached our halting-place for the night. + + + + +CHAPTER XVII. MRS. KEATS MOVES MY INDIGNATION + +I am forced to the confession, Mrs. Keats was not what is popularly +called an agreeable old lady. She spoke seldom, she smiled never, and +she had a way of looking at you, a sort of cold astonishment, seeming +to say, "How is this? explain yourself," that kept me in a perpetual +terror. + +My morning's tiff with Miss Herbert had neither been condoned nor +expiated when we sat down to dinner, as stiff a party of three as can +well be imagined; scarcely a word was interchanged as we ate. + +"If you drink wine, sir, pray order it," said Mrs. Keats to me, in a +voice that might have suited an invitation to prussic acid. + +"This little wine of the country is very pleasant, madam," said I, +courteously, "and I can even venture to recommend it." + +"Not to me, sir. I drink water." + +"Perhaps Miss Herbert will allow me?" + +"Excuse me; I also drink water." + +After a very dreary and painful pause, I dared to express a faint hope +that Mrs. Keats had not been fatigued by the day's Journey. + +She looked at me for a second or two before replying, and then said: +"I am really not aware, sir, that I have manifested any such signs of +weariness as would warrant your inquiry. If I should have, however--" + +"Oh, I beg you will pardon me, madam," broke I in, apologetically; +"my question was not meant for more than a mere ordinary politeness, a +matter-of-course expression of my solicitude." + +"It will save us both some trouble in future, sir, if I re-mark that I +am no friend to matter-of-course civilities, and never reply to them." + +I felt as though my head and face had been passed across the open door +of a blast furnace. I was in a perfect flame, and dared not raise my eye +from my plate. + +"The waiter is asking if you will take coffee, sir," said the inexorable +old lady to me, as I sat almost stunned and stupid. + +"Yes--with brandy--a full glass of brandy in it," cried I, in the +half-despair of one who knew not how to rally himself. + +"I think we may retire, Miss H.," said Mrs. Keats, rising with a severe +dignity that seemed to say, "We are not bound to assist at an orgy." And +with a stern stare and a defiant little bow she moved towards the door. +I was so awestruck that I never moved from my place, but stood resting +my hand on my chair, till she said, "Do you mean to open the door, sir, +or am I to do it for myself?" + +I sprang forward at once, and flung it wide, my face all scarlet with +shame. + +She passed out, and Miss Herbert followed her. Her dress, however, +catching in the doorway, she turned back to extricate it; I seized the +moment to stoop down and say, "Do let me see you for one moment this +evening,--only one moment." + +She shook her head in silent negative, and went away. + +I sat down at the table, and filled myself a large goblet of wine; I +drank it off, and replenished it It was only this morning, a few brief +hours ago, and I would not have changed fortunes with the Emperor of +France. Life seemed to open before me like some beautiful alley in a +garden, with a glorious vista in the distance. I would not have bartered +the place in that cabriolet for the proudest throne in Europe. _She_ was +there beside me, listening in rapt attention, as I discoursed voyages, +travels, memoirs, poetry, and personal adventures. With every changeful +expression of lovely sympathy did she follow me through all. I was a +hero to us both, myself as much captivated as she was; and now the brief +drama was over, the lights were put out, and the theatre closed! How had +I destroyed this golden delusion,--why had I quarrelled with her, +and for what? For a certain Potts, a creature who, in reality, had no +existence; "For who is Potts?" said I. "Potts is no more a substance +than Caleb Williams or Peregrine Pickle; Potts is the lay figure that +the artist dresses in any costume he requires--a Rachero to-day, a +Railway Director to-morrow. What an absurdity in the importance we lend +to mere names! Here, for instance, I take the label off the port, and +I hang it round the neck of the claret decanter: have I changed the +quality of the vintage? have I brought Bordeaux to the meridian of +Oporto? Not a bit of it And yet a man is to be more the victim of an +accident than a bottle of wine, and his intrinsic qualities--strength, +flavor, and richness--are not to be tested, but simply implied from the +label round his neck! How narrow-minded, after all, of her, who ought +to have known better! It is thus, however, we educate our women; this +is part and parcel of the false system by which we fancy we make them +companionable. The North American Indians are far in advance of us in +all this: they assign them their proper places and fitting duties; they +feel that, in this life of ours, order and happiness depend on the due +distribution of burdens, and the Snapping Alligator never feels his +squaw more truly his helpmate than when she is skinning eels for his +dinner." + +How I hated that old woman; I don't think I ever detested a human +creature so much as that I have often speculated as to whether venomous +reptiles have any gratification imparted to them when they inflict a +poisonous wound. Is the mosquito the happier for having stung +one's nose? And, in the same spirit, I should like to know, do +the disagreeable people of this world sleep the better from the +consciousness of having offended us? Is there that great ennobling sense +of a mission fulfilled for every cheek they set on fire and every heart +they depress? and do they quench hope and extinguish ambition with the +same zeal that the Sun or the Phoenix put out a fire? + +"'If you drink wine, sir, pray order it,'" said I, mimicking her +imperious tone. "Yes, madam, I do drink wine, and I mean to order it, +and liberally. I travel at the expense of that noble old paymaster who +only wags his tail the more, the more he has to pay--the British Lion. +I go down in the extraordinaires. I 'm on what is called a special +service. 'Keep an account of your expenses, Paynter!' Confound his +insolence, he would say 'Paynter.' By the way, I have never looked how +he calls me in my passport. I 'm curious to see if I be Paynter there." +I had left the bag containing this and my money in my room, and I rang +the bell, and told the waiter to fetch it. + +The passport set forth in due terms all the dignities, honors, and +decorations of the great man who granted it, and who bespoke for the +little man who travelled by it all aid and assistance possible, and to +let him pass freely, &c. "Mr. Ponto,--British subject." "Ponto, +What an outrage! This comes of a man making his _maître d'hôtel_ his +secretary. That stupid French flunkey has converted me into a water-dog. +This may explain a good deal of the old lady's rudeness; how could she +be expected to be even ordinarily civil to a man called Ponto? She 'd +say at once, 'His father was an Italian, and, of course, a courier, or a +valet; or he was a foundling, and called after a favorite spaniel.' Ill +rectify this without loss of time. If she has not the tact to discover +the man of education and breeding by the qualities he displays in +intercourse, she shall be brought to admit them by the demands of his +self-respect." + +I opened my writing-desk and wrote just two lines,--a polite request for +a few moments of interview, signed "A. S. Pottinger." I wrote the name +in a fine text hand, as though to say, "No more blunders, madam, this is +large as print." + +"Take this to your mistress, François," said I to the courier. + +"Gone to bed, sir." + +"Gone to bed! why, it's only eight o'clock." + +A shrug and a smile were all he replied. + +"And Miss Herbert,--can I speak to _her?_" + +"Fear not, sir; she went to her room, and told Clementina not to disturb +her." + +"It is of consequence, however, that I should see her. I want to make +arrangements for to-morrow,--the hour we are to start--" + +"Oh! but we are to stop here over to-morrow; I thought monsieur knew +that," said the fellow, with the insolent grin of a menial at knowing +more than his betters. + +"Oh, to be sure we are," said I, laughingly, and affecting to have +suddenly remembered it. "I forgot all about it, François; you are quite +right. Take a glass of wine, Francois,--or take the bottle with you, +that's better." And I handed him a flask of Hocheimer of eight florins, +right glad to get rid of his presence and escape further scrutiny from +his prying glances. + +How relieved I felt when the fellow closed the door after him and left +me to "blow off the steam" of my indignation all alone! And was I not +indignant? Only to fancy this insolent old woman giving her orders +without so much as condescending to communicate with me! I am left to +learn her whim by a mere accident, or not learn it at all, and exhibit +myself ready to depart at the inn door, and then hear, for the first +time, that I may unpack again. + +This was unquestionably a studied rudeness, and demanded an equally +studied reprisal. She means to discredit my station, and disparage +my influence; how shall I reply to her? A vast variety of expedients +offered themselves to my mind: I could go off, leaving a fearful letter +behind me,--a document that would cut her to the very soul with +the sarcastic bitterness of its tone; but could I leave without a +reconciliation with Miss Herbert,--without the fond hope of our meeting +as friends. I meant a great deal more, though I would n't trust +myself to say so. Besides, were I to go away, there were financial +considerations to be entertained. I could not, of course, carry off that +crimson bag with its gold and silver contents, and yet it was very hard +to tear myself from such a treasure. + +I say it under correction, for I have never been rich, and, +consequently, never in the position to assert it positively; but +I declare my firm conviction to be that no man has ever tasted the +unbounded pleasures of a careless liberality on a Journey, who has not +travelled at some other person's expense. Be as wealthy as you like, let +your portmanteau be stuffed full of circular notes, and there will be +present at moments of payment the thought, "If I do not allow myself +to be cheated here, I shall have all the more to squander there." But, +drawing from the bag of another, no such mean reflection obtrudes. You +might as well defraud your lungs of a long inspiration out of the fear +of taking more than your share of the atmosphere. There is enough, and +will be enough there when you are dust and ashes. + +In fact, if I had on one side the "three courses" of the great +statesman, I had on the other full thirty reasons against each, and, +therefore, I resolved to suspend action and do nothing. And let me here +passingly remark that, much as we hear every day about the merits of +promptitude and quick-wittedness, in nine cases out of ten in life, I 'd +rather "give the move than take it." The waiting policy is a rare one; +it is the secret of success in love, and of victory in an equity court +And so I determined I 'd wait and see what should come of it. I appealed +to myself thus: "Potts, you are eminently a man of the world, one who +accepts life as it is, with all its crosses and untoward incidents; who +knows well that he must play bad cards even oftener than good ones. No +impatience, therefore, no rashness; give at least twenty-four hours' +thought to any important decision, and let a night's sleep intervene +between your first conception of a plan and its adoption." Oh, if the +people who are fretting themselves about what is to happen this day ten +years, would only remember what a long time it is,--that is, counting by +the number of events that will occur between this and to-morrow,--not +to say what incidents are happening at the antipodes that will yet bring +joy or sorrow to their hearts,--they would keep more of their sympathies +for present use, and perhaps be the happier for doing so. + + + + +CHAPTER XVIII. AN IMPATIENT SUMMONS. + +I am about to make a very original observation. I hope its truth may +equal its originality. It is, that the man who has never had a sister +is, at his first entrance into life, far more the slave of feminine +captivations than he who has been brought up in a "house full of girls." +"Oh, for shame, Mr. Potts! Is this the gallantry we have heard so +much of? Is this the spirit of that chivalrous devotion you have been +incessantly impressing upon us?" Wait a moment, fair creature; give me +one half-minute for an explanation. He who has not had sisters has had +no experiences of the behind-scene life of the female world; he has +never heard one syllable about the plans and schemes and devices by +which hearts are snared. He fancies Mary stuck that moss-rose in her +hair in a moment of childish caprice; that Kate ran after her little +sister and showed the prettiest of ankles in doing it, out of the +irrepressible gayety of her buoyant spirits. In a word, he is one who +only sees the play when the house is fully lighted, and all the actors +in their grand costume; he has never witnessed a rehearsal, and has not +the very vaguest suspicion of a prompter. + +To him, therefore, who has only experienced the rough companionship +of brothers--or worse still, has lived entirely alone--the first +acquaintanceship with the young-lady world is such a fascination as no +words can describe. The gentle look, the graceful gestures, the silvery +voices, all the play and action of natures so infinitely more refined +than any he has ever witnessed, are inexpressibly captivating. It is not +alone the occupations of their hours, light, graceful, and picturesque +as they are, but all their topics, their thoughts, seem to soar out +of the commonplace world he has lived in, and rise to ideal realms of +poetry and beauty. I say it advisedly: I do not know of anything so +truly Elysian in life as our first--our very first--experiences of this +kind. + +Werther's passion for Charlotte received a powerful impulse from +watching her as she cut bread-and-butter for the children. There are +vulgar natures who will smile at this; who cannot enter into the intense +far-sightedness of that poetic conception; that could in one trait +of simplicity embody a whole lifetime with its ennobling duties, its +cheerful sacrifices, its gracefully borne cares. Let him, therefore, who +could sneer at Werther, scoff at Potts, as he owns that he never felt +his heart so powerfully drawn to Kate Herbert as when he watched her +making tea for breakfast. Dressed in a muslin that represented mourning, +her rich hair plainly enclosed in a net, with a noiseless motion, she +glided about, an ideal of gentle sadness, more fascinating than I can +tell. If she bore any unpleasant memory of our little difference, she +did not show it; her manner was calm and even kind. She felt, perhaps, +that some compensation was due to me for the rudeness of that old woman, +and was not unwilling to make it. + +"You know we are to rest here to-day?" said she, as she busied herself +at the table. + +"I heard it by a mere chance, and from the courier," said I, peevishly. +"I am not quite certain in what capacity Mrs. Keats condescends to +regard me, that I am treated with such scant courtesy. Probably you +would be kind enough to ascertain this point for me?" + +"I shall assuredly not ask," said she, with a smile. + +"I certainly promised her brother--I could not do less for a colleague, +not to say something more--that I 'd see this old lady safe over the +Alps. They are looking out for me anxiously enough at Constantinople +all this while; in fact, I suspect there will be a nice confusion there +through my delay, and I 'd not be a bit surprised if they begin to +believe that stupid story in the 'Nord.' I suppose you saw it?" + +"No. What is it about?" + +"It is about your humble servant, Miss Herbert, and hints that he has +received one hundred parses from the sheiks of the Lebanon not to +reach the Golden Horn before they have made their peace with the Grand +Vizier." + +"And is of course untrue?" + +"Of course, every word of it is a falsehood; but there are _gobemouches_ +will believe anything. Mark my words, and see if this allegation be not +heard in the House of Commons, and some Tower Hamlets member start up +to ask if the Foreign Secretary will lay on the table copies of the +instructions given to a certain person, and supposed to be credentials +of a nature to supersede the functions of our ambassador at the Porte. +In confidence, between ourselves, Miss Herbert, so they are! I am +intrusted with full powers about the Hatti Homayoun, as the world shall +see in good time." + +"Do you take your tea strong?" asked she; and there was something so odd +and so inopportune in the question, that I felt it as a sort of covert +sneer; but when I looked up and beheld that pale and gentle face +turned towards me, I banished the base suspicion, and forgetting all my +enthusiasm, said,-- + +"Yes, dearest; strong as brandy!" + +She tried to look grave, perhaps angry; but in spite of herself, she +burst out a-laughing. + +"I perceive, sir," said she, "that Mrs. Keats was quite correct when she +said that you appear to have moments in which you are unaware of what +you say." + +Before I could rally to reply, she had poured out a cup of tea for Mrs. +Keats, and left the room to carry it to her. + +"'Moments in which I am unaware of what I say,'--'incoherent intervals' +Forbes Winslow would call them: in plain English, I am mad. Old woman, +have you dared to cast such an aspersion on me, and to disparage me, +too, in the quarter where I am striving to achieve success? For her +opinion of me I am less than indifferent; for her Judgment of my +capacity, my morals, my manners, I am as careless as I well can be of +anything; but these become serious disparagements when they reach +the ears of one whose heart I would make my own. I will insist on an +explanation--no, but an apology--for this. She shall declare that she +used these words in some non-natural sense,--that I am the sanest of +mortals: she shall give it under her hand and seal: 'I, the undersigned, +having in a moment of rash and impatient Judgment imputed to the bearer +of this document, Algernon Sydney Potts,'--no, Pottinger--ha, there is a +difficulty! If I be Pottinger, I can never re-become Potts; if Potts, +I am lost,--or rather, Miss Herbert is lost to me forever. What a dire +embarrassment! Not to mention that in the passport I was Ponto!" + +"Mrs. Keats desired me to beg you will step up to her room after +breakfast, and bring your account-books with you." This was said by Miss +Herbert as she entered and took her place at the table. + +"What has the old woman got in her head?" said I, angrily. "I have no +account-books,--I never had such in my life. When I travel alone, I say +to my courier, 'Diomede'--he is a Greek--'Diomede, pay;' and he pays. +When Diomede is not with me, I ask, 'How much?' and I give it." + +"It certainly simplifies travel," said she, gravely. + +"It does more, Miss Herbert: it accomplishes the end of travel. Your +doctor says, 'Go abroad,--take a holiday--turn your back on Downing +Street, and bid farewell to cabinet councils.' Where is the benefit +of such a course, I ask, if you are to pass the vacation cursing +customhouse officers, bullying landlords, and browbeating waiters? I +say always, 'Give me a bad dinner if you must, but do not derange my +digestion; rather a damp bed than thorns in the pillow.'" + +"I am to say that you will see her, however," said she, with that +matter-of-fact adhesiveness to the question that never would permit her +to join in my digressions. + +"Then I go under protest, Miss Herbert,--under protest, and, as the +lawyers say, without prejudice,--that is, I go as a private gentleman, +irresponsible and independent. Tell her this, and say, I know nothing +of figures: arithmetic may suit the Board of Trade; in the Foreign +Department we ignore it You may add, too, if you like, that from what +you have seen of me, I am of a haughty disposition, easily offended, and +very vindictive,--very!" + +"But I really don't think this," said she, with a bewitching smile. + +"Not to _you_ de--" I was nearly in it again: "not to _you_," said I, +stammering and blushing till I felt on fire. I suspect that she saw all +the peril of the moment, for she left the room hurriedly, on the pretext +of asking Mrs. Keats to take more tea. + +"She is sensible of your devotion, Potts; but is she touched by it? Has +she said to herself, 'That man is my fate, my destiny,--it is no use +resisting him; dark and mysterious as he is, I am drawn towards him +by an inscrutable sympathy'--or is she still struggling in the toils, +muttering to her heart to be still, and to wait? Flutter away, gentle +creature," said I, compassionately, "but raffle not your lovely plumage +too roughly; the bars of your cage are not the less impassable that they +are invisible. You _shall_ love me, and you _shall_ be mine!" + +To these rapturous fancies there now succeeded the far less captivating +thought of Mrs. Keats, and an approaching interview. Can any reader +explain why it is, that one sits in quiet admiration of some old woman +by Teniers or Holbein, and never experiences any chagrin or impatience +at trials which, if only represented in life, would be positively +odious? Why is it that art transcends nature, and that ugliness in +canvas is more endurable than ugliness in the flesh? Now, for my own +part, I'd rather have faced a whole gallery of the Dutch school, from +Van Eyck to Verbagen, than have confronted that one old lady who sat +awaiting me in No. 12. + +Twice as I sat at my breakfast did François put in his head, look at me, +and retire without a word. "What is the matter? What do you mean?" cried +I, impatiently, at the third intrusion. + +"It is madam that wishes to know when monsieur will be at leisure to go +upstairs to her." + +I almost bounded on my chair with passion. How was I, I would ask, to +maintain any portion of that dignity with which I ought to surround +myself if exposed to such demands as this? This absurd old woman would +tear off every illusion in which I draped myself. What availed all the +romance a rich fancy could conjure up, when that wicked old enchantress +called me to her presence, and in a voice of thunder said, "Strip off +these masqueradings, Potts, I know the whole story." "Ay, but," thought +I, "she cannot do so; of me and my antecedents she knows positively +nothing." "Halt there!" interposes Conscience; "it is quite enough to +pronounce the coin base, without being able to say at what mint it was +fabricated. She knows you, Potts, she knows you." + +There is one great evil in castle-building, and I have thought very long +and anxiously, and I must own fruitlessly, over how to meet it: it is +that one never can get a lease of the ground to build on. One is always +like an Irish cottier, a tenant at will, likely to be turned out at a +moment's notice, and dispossessed without pity or compassion. The same +language applies to each: "You know well, my good fellow, you had no +right to be there; pack up and be off!" It's no use saying that it was +a bit of waste land unfenced and untilled; that, until you took it in +hand, it was overgrown with nettles and duckweed; that you dispossessed +no one, and such like. The answer is still the same, "Where's your +title? Where's your lease?" + +Now, I am curious to hear what injury I was inflicting on that old woman +at No. 12 by any self-deceptions of mine? Could the most exaggerated +estimate I might form of myself, my present, or my future, in any degree +affect _her?_ Who constituted her a sort of ambulatory conscience, to +call people's hearts to account at a moment's notice? It may be seen +by the tone of these reflections, that I was fully impressed with the +belief through some channel, or by some clew, Mrs. Keats knew all my +history, and intended to use her knowledge tyrannically over me. + +Oh that I could only retaliate! Oh that I had only the veriest fragment +of her past life, out of which to construct her whole story! Just as out +of a mastodon's molar, Cuvier used to build up the whole monster, never +omitting a rib, nor forgetting a vertebra! How I should like to say to +her, and with a most significant sigh, "I knew poor Keats well!" Could +I not make even these simple words convey a world of accusation, blended +with sorrow and regret? + +François again, and on the same errand. "Say I am coming; that I have +only finished a hasty breakfast, and that I am coming this instant," +cried I. Nor was it very easy for me to repress the more impatient +expressions which struggled for utterance, particularly as I saw, or +fancied I saw, the fellow pass his hand over his mouth to hide a grin at +my expense. + +"Is Miss Herbert upstairs?" + +"No, sir, she is in the garden." + +This was so far pleasant. I dreaded the thought of her presence at this +interview, and I felt that punishment within the precincts of the jail +was less terrible than on the drop before the populace; and with this +consoling reflection I mounted the stairs. + + + + +CHAPTER XIX. MRS. KEATS'S MYSTERIOUS COMMUNICATION + +I knocked twice before I heard the permission to enter; but scarcely +had I closed the door behind me, than the old lady advanced, and, +courtesying to me with a manner of most reverential politeness, said, +"When you learn, sir, that my conduct has been dictated in the interest +of your safety, you will, I am sure, graciously pardon many apparent +rudenesses in my manner towards you, and only see in them my zeal to +serve you." + +I could only bow to a speech not one syllable of which was in the least +intelligible to me. She conducted me courteously to a seat, and only +took her own after I was seated. + +"I feel, sir," said she, "that there will be no end to our +embarrassments if I do not go straight to my object and say at once that +I know you. I tell you frankly, sir, that my brother did not betray +your secret. The instincts of his calling--to _him_ second nature--were +stronger than fraternal love, and all he said to me was, 'Martha, I have +found a gentleman who is going south, and who, without inconvenience, +can see you safely as far as Como.' I implicitly accepted his words, and +agreed to set out immediately. I suspected nothing,--I knew nothing. It +was only before going down to dinner that the paragraph in the 'Courrier +du Dimanche' met my eye, and as I read it, I thought I should have +fainted. My first determination was not to appear at dinner. I felt +that something or other in my manner would betray my knowledge of +your secret. My next was to go down and behave with more than usual +sharpness. You may have remarked that I was very abrupt, almost, shall I +say, rude?" + +I tried to enter a dissent at this, but did not succeed so happily as I +meant; but she resumed:-- + +"At any cost, however, sir, I determined that I alone should be the +depositary of your confidence. Miss Herbert is to me a comparative +stranger; she is, besides, very young; she would be in no wise a +suitable person to intrust with such a secret, and so I said, I will +pretend illness, and remain here for a day; I will make some pretext of +dissatisfaction about the expense of the journey; I will affect to +have had some passing difference, and he can thus leave us ere he +be discovered. Not that I desire this, sir, far from it; this is the +brightest episode in a long life. I never imagined that I should have +enjoyed such an honor; but I have only to think of your safety, and if +an old woman, unobservant and unremarking as myself, could penetrate +your disguise, why not others more keen-sighted and inquisitive? Don't +you agree with me?" + +"There is much force in what you say, madam," said I; with dignity, "and +your words touch me profoundly." I thought this a happy expression, for +it conveyed a sort of grand condescension that seemed to hit off the +occasion. + +"You would never guess how I recognized you, sir," said she. + +"Never, madam." I could have given my oath to this, if required. + +"Well," said she, with a bland smile, "it was from the resemblance to +your mother!" + +"Indeed!" + +"Yes; you are far more like her, than your father, and you are scarcely +so tall as he was." + +"Perhaps not, madam." + +"But you have his manner, sir, the graceful and captivating dignity that +distinguished all your house; this would betray you to the eyes of all +who have enjoyed the high privilege of knowing your family." + +The allusion to our house showed that we were royalties, and I laid my +hand on my heart, and bowed as a prince ought, blandly but haughtily. + +"Ah, sir," said she, with a deep sigh, "your present enterprise fills me +with apprehension. Are you not afraid, yourself, of the consequences?" + +I sighed, too; and if the truth were to be told, I was very much afraid. + +"But, of course, you are acting under advice, and with the counsel of +those well able to guide you." + +"I cannot say I am, madam; I am free to tell you that every step I am +now taking is self-suggested." + +"Oh, then, let me implore you to pause, sir," said she, falling on her +knees before me; "let me thus entreat of you not to go further in a path +so full of danger." + +"Shall I confess, madam," said I, proudly, "that I do not _see_ these +dangers you speak of?" + +I thought that on this hint she would talk out, and I might be able to +pierce the veil of the mystery, and discover who I was; for though very +like my mother, and shorter than my father, I was sorely puzzled about +my parentage; but she only went off into generalities about the state of +the Continent and the condition of Europe generally. I saw now that my +best chance of ascertaining something about myself was to obtain from +her the newspaper that first suggested her discovery of me, and I said +half carelessly, "Let me see the paragraph which struck you in the +'Courrier.'" + +"Ah, sir, you must excuse me, these ignoble writers have little delicacy +in alluding to the misfortunes of the great; they seem to revenge the +littleness of their own station on every such occasion." + +"You can well imagine, madam, how time has accustomed me to such petty +insults: show me the paper." + +"Pray let me refuse you, sir; I would not, however blamelessly, be +associated in your mind with what might offend you." + +Again I protested that I was used to such attacks, that I knew all about +the wretched hireling creatures who wrote them, and that instead of +offending, they positively amused me,--actually made me laugh. + +Thus urged, she proceeded to search for the newspaper, and only after +some minutes was it that she remembered Miss Herbert had taken it away +to read in the garden. She proposed to send the servant to fetch it, +but this I would not permit, pretending at last to concur in her own +previously expressed contempt for the paragraph,--but secretly promising +myself to go in search of it the moment I should be at liberty,--and +once more she resumed the theme of my rashness, and my dangers, and +all the troubles I might possibly bring upon my family, and the grief I +might occasion my grandmother. + +Now, as there are few men upon whom the ties of family and kindred +imposed less rigid bonds, I was rather provoked at being reminded of +obligations to my grandmother, and was almost driven to declare that she +weighed for very little in the balance of my plans and motives. The old +lady, however, rescued me from the indiscretion by a fervent entreaty +that I would at least ask a certain person what he thought of my present +step. + +"Will you do this?" said she, with tears in her eyes. "Will you do it +now?" + +I promised her faithfully. + +"Will you do it here, sir, at this table, and let me have the proudest +memory in my life to recall the incident." + +"I should like an hour or two for reflection," said I, pushed very hard +by this insistence of hers, for I was sorely puzzled whom I was to write +to. + +"Oh," said she, still tearfully, "is it not the habit of hesitating, +sir, has cost your house so dearly?" + +"No," said I, "we have been always accounted prompt in action and true +to our engagements." + +Heaven forgive me! but in this vainglorious speech I was alluding to the +motto of the Potts crest,--"Vigilanti-bus omnia fausta;" or, as some one +rendered it, "Potts answers to the night-bell." + +She smiled faintly at my remark. I wonder how she would have looked had +she read the thought that suggested it. + +"But you _will_ write to him, sir?" said she, once more. + +I laid my hand over what anatomists call the region of the heart, and +tried to look like Charles Edward in the prints. Meanwhile my patience +was beginning to fail me, and I felt that if the mystification were +to last much longer, I should infallibly lose my presence of mind. +Fortunately, the old lady was so full of her theme that she only asked +to be let talk away without interruption, with many an allusion to the +dear Count and the adored Duchess, and a fervent hope that I might be +ultimately reconciled to them both,--a wish which I had tact enough to +perceive required the most guarded reserve on my part. + +"I know I am indiscreet, sir," said she, at last; "but you must pardon +one whose zeal outruns her reason." + +And I bowed grandly, as I might have done in extending mercy to some +captive taken in battle. + +"There is but one favor more, sir, I have to beg." + +"Speak it, madam. As the courtier remarked, if it be possible it _is_ +done, if impossible it _shall_ be done." + +"Well, sir, it is that you will not leave us till you hear from--" She +hesitated as if afraid to say the name, and then added, "the Rue St. +Georges. Will you give me this pledge?" + +Now, though this would have been, all things considered, an arrangement +very like to have lasted my life, I could not help hesitating ere I +assented, not to say that our dear friend of the Rue St Georges, whoever +he was, might possibly not concur in all the delusions indispensable +to my happiness. I therefore demurred,--that is, in legal acceptance, I +deferred assent,--as though to say, "We'll see." + +"At all events, sir, you 'll accompany us to Como?" + +"You have my pledge to that, madam." + +"And meanwhile, sir, you agree with me that it is better I should +continue to behave towards you with a cold and distant reserve." + +"Unquestionably." + +"Barely meeting, seldom or never conversing." + +"I should say never, madam; making, in fact, any communication you may +desire to reach me through the intervention of that young person,--I +forget her name." + +"Miss Herbert, sir." + +"Exactly; and who appears gentle and unobtrusive." + +"She is a gentlewoman by birth, sir," said the old lady, tetchily. + +"I have no doubt of it, madam, or she would not be found in association +with you." + +She courtesied deeply at the compliment, and I bowed as low, and, +backing and bowing, I gained the door, dying with eagerness, to make my +escape. + +"Will you pardon me, sir, if, after all the agitation of this meeting, I +may not feel equal to appear at dinner to-day?" + +"You will charge that young person to give news of your health, +however," said I, insinuating that I expected to see Miss Herbert. + +"Certainly, sir; and if it should be your pleasure that she should dine +with you, to preserve appearances--" + +"You are right, madam; your remark is full of wisdom. I shall expect +to meet her." And again I bowed low, and ere she recovered from another +reverential courtesy I had closed the door behind me, and was half-way +downstairs. + + + + +CHAPTER XX. THE MYSTERY EXPLAINED + +As between the man who achieves greatness and him who has greatness +thrust upon him there lies a whole world of space, so is there an +immense interval between one who is the object of his own delusions and +him who forms the subject of delusion to others. + +My reader may have already noticed that nothing was easier for me than +to lend myself to the idle current of my fancy. Most men who build +"castles in Spain," as the old adage calls them, do so purely +to astonish their friends. _I_ indulged in these architectural +extravagances in a very different spirit. I built my castle to live in +it; from foundation to roof-tree, I planned every detail of it to +suit my own taste, and all my study was to make it as habitable and +comfortable as I could. Ay, and what's more, live in it I did, though +very often the tenure was a brief one; sometimes while breaking my egg +at breakfast, sometimes as I drew on my gloves to walk out, and yet no +terror of a short lease ever deterred me from finishing the edifice +in the most expensive manner. I gilded my architraves and frescoed my +ceilings as though all were to endure for centuries; and laid out the +gardens and disposed the parterres as though I were to walk in them in +my extreme old age. This faculty of lending myself to an illusion by no +means adhered to me where the deception was supplied by another; from +the moment I entered one of _their_ castles, I felt myself in a strange +house. I continually forgot where the stairs were, what this gallery +opened on, where that corridor led to. No use was it to say, "You are at +home here. You are at your own fireside." I knew and I felt that I was +not. + +By this declaration I mean my reader to understand that, while ready for +any exigency of a story devised by myself, I was perfectly miserable +at playing a part written for me by a friend; nor was this feeling +diminished by the thought that I really did not know the person I +was believed to represent; nor had I the very vaguest clew to his +antecedents or belongings. + +As I set out in search of Miss Herbert, these were the reflections I +revolved, occasionally asking myself, "Is the old lady at all touched +in the upper story? Is there not something private-asylumish in these +wanderings?" But still, apart from this special instance, she was a +marvel of acuteness and good sense. I found Miss Herbert in a little +arbor at her work; the newspaper on the bench beside her. + +"So," said she, without looking up, "you have been making a long visit +upstairs. You found Mrs. Keats very agreeable, or you were so yourself." + +"Is there anything wrong hereabouts?" said I, touching my forehead with +my finger. + +"Nothing whatever." + +"No fancies, no delusions about certain people?" + +"None whatever." + +"None of the family suspected of anything odd or eccentric?" + +"Not that I have ever heard of. Why do you ask?" + +"Well, it was a mere fancy, perhaps, on my part; but her manner to-day +struck me as occasionally strange,--almost flighty." + +"And on what subject?" + +"I am scarcely at liberty to say that; in fact, I am not at all free to +divulge it," said I, mysteriously, and somewhat gratified to remark that +I had excited a most intense curiosity on her part to learn the subject +of our interview. + +"Oh, pray do not make any imprudent revelations to me," said she, +pettishly; "which, apart from the indiscretion, would have the singular +demerit of affording me not the slightest pleasure. I am not afflicted +with the malady of curiosity." + +"What a blessing to you! Now, I am the most inquisitive of mankind. I +feel that if I were a clerk in a bank, I 'd spend the day prying into +every one's account, and learning the exact state of his balance-sheet. +If I were employed in the post-office, no terror of the law could +restrain me from reading the letters. Tell me that any one has a secret +in his heart, and I feel I could cut him open to get at it!" + +"I don't think you are giving a flattering picture of yourself in all +this," said she, peevishly. + +"I am aware of that, Miss Herbert; but I am also one of those who do not +trade upon qualities they have no pretension to." + +She flushed a deep crimson at this, and after a moment said,-- + +"Has it not occurred to you, sir, that people who seldom meet except to +exchange ungracious remarks would show more judgment by avoiding each +other's society?" + +Oh, how my heart thrilled at this pettish speech! In Hans Gruter's +"Courtship," he says, "I knew she loved me, for we never met without +a quarrel." "I have thought of that, too, Miss Herbert," said I, "but +there are outward observances to be kept up, conventionalities to be +respected." + +"None of which, however, require that you should come out and sit here +while I am at my work," said she, with suppressed passion. + +"I came out here to search for the newspaper," said I, taking it up, and +stretching myself on the grassy sward to read at leisure. + +She arose at once, and, gathering all the articles of her work into a +basket, walked away. + +"Don't let me hunt you away, Miss Herbert," said I, indolently; +"anywhere else will suit me just as well. Pray don't go." But without +vouchsafing to utter a word, or even turn her head, she continued her +way towards the house. + +"The morning she slapped my face," says Hans, "filled the measure of my +bliss, for I then saw she could not control her feelings for me." +This passage recurred to me as I lay there, and I hugged myself in the +thought that such a moment of delight might yet be mine. The profound +German explains this sentiment well. "With women," says he, "love is +like the idol worship of an Indian tribe; at the moment their hearts are +bursting with devotion, they like to cut and wound and maltreat their +god. With _them_, this is the ecstasy of their passion." + +I now saw that the girl was in love with me, and that she did not +know it herself. I take it that the sensations of a man who suddenly +discovers that the pretty girl he has been admiring is captivated by his +attentions, are very like what a head clerk may feel at being sent for +by the house, and informed that he is now one of the firm! This may seem +a commercial formula to employ, but it will serve to show my meaning; +and as I lay there on that velvet turf, what a delicious vision spread +itself around me! At one moment we were rich, travelling in splendor +through Europe, amassing art-treasures wherever we went and despoiling +all the great galleries of their richest gems. I was the associate of +all that was distinguished in literature and science, and my wife the +chosen friend of queens and princesses. How unaffected we were, how +unspoiled by fortune! Approachable by all, our graceful benevolence +seemed to elevate its object and make of the recipient the benefactor. +What a world of bliss this vile dross men call gold can scatter! +"There--there, good people," said I, blandly, waving my hand, "no +illuminations, no bonfires; your happy faces are the brightest of all +welcomes." Then we were suddenly poor,--out of caprice, just to see how +we should like it,--and living in a little cottage under Snowden, and I +was writing, Heaven knows what, for the periodicals, and my wife rocking +a little urchin in a cradle, whom we constantly awoke by kissing, each +pretending that it was all the other's fault, till we ratified a peace +in the same fashion. Then I remembered the night, never to be forgotten, +when I received my appointment as something in the antipodes, and we +went up to town to thank the great man who bestowed it, and he asked +us to dinner, and he was, I fancied, more than polite to my wife, and I +sulked about it when we got home, and she petted and caressed me, and +we were better friends than ever, and I swore I would not accept the +Minister's bounty, and we set off back again to our cottage in Wales, +and there we were when I came to myself once more. + +It is always pleasant--at least, I have ever felt it so, on awaking from +a dream or a revery--to know that one has borne himself well in some +imaginary crisis of difficulty and peril. I like to think that I was in +no hurry to get into the longboat. I am glad I gave poor Dick that last +fifty-pound note,--my last in the world,--and I rejoice to remember that +I did not run away from that grizzly bear, but sent the four-pound ball +right into the very middle of his forehead. You feel in all these that +the metal of your nature has been tested, and come out pure gold; at all +events, _I_ did, and was very happy thereat. It was not till after some +little time that I could get myself clear out of dreamland, and back to +the actual world of small debts and difficulties, and then I bethought +me of the newspaper which lay unread beside me. + +I began it now, resolved to examine it from end to end, till I +discovered the passage that alluded to me. It was so far pleasant +reading, that it was novel and original. A very able leader set forth +that nothing could equal the blessings of the Pope's rule at Rome,--no +people were so happy, so prosperous, or so contented,--that all the +granaries were full, and all the jails empty, and the only persons of +small incomes in the state were the cardinals, and that they were too +heavenly-minded to care for it. After this, there came some touching +anecdotes of that good man the late King of Naples. And then there was +a letter from Frohsdorf, with fifteen francs enclosed to the inhabitants +of a village submerged by an inundation. There were pleasant little +paragraphs, too, about England, and all the money she was spending to +propagate infidelity and spread the slave-trade,--the two great and +especial objects of her policy,--after which came insults to France and +injustice to Ireland. The general tone of the print was war with every +one but some twenty or thirty old ladies and gentlemen living in exile +somewhere in Bohemia. Now, none of these things touched _me_, and I was +growing very weary of my search when I lighted upon the following:-- + +"We are informed, on authority that we cannot question, that the young +C. de P. is now making the tour of Germany alone and in disguise, his +object being to ascertain for himself how the various relatives of his +house, on the maternal side, would feel affected by any movement in +France to renew his pretensions. Strange, undignified, and ill advised +as such a step must seem, there is nothing in it at all repulsive to the +well-known traditions of the younger branch. Our informant himself +met the P. at Mayence, and speedily recognized him, from the marked +resemblance he bears to the late Duchess, his mother; he addressed him +at once by his title, but was met by the cold assurance that he was +mistaken, and that a casual similarity in features bad already led +others into the same error. The General--for our informant is an old and +honored soldier of France--confessed he was astounded at the _aplomb_ +and self-possession displayed by so young a man; and although their +conversation lasted for nearly an hour, and ranged over a wide field, +the C. never for an instant exposed himself to a detection, nor offered +the slightest clew to his real rank and station. Indeed, he affected to +be English by birth, which his great facility in the language enabled +him to do. When he quitted Mayence, it was for Central Germany." + +Here was the whole mystery revealed, and I was no less a person than a +royal prince,--very like my mother, but neither so tall nor robust as +my distinguished father! "Oh, Potts! in all the wildest ravings of your +most florid moments you never arrived at this!" + +A very strange thrill went through me as I finished this paragraph. It +came this wise. There is, in one of Hoffman's tales, the story of a +man who, in a compact with the Fiend, acquired the power of personating +whomsoever he pleased, but who, sated at last with the enjoyment of +this privilege, and eager for a new sensation, determined he would try +whether the part of the Devil himself might not be amusing. Apparently +Mephistopheles won't stand joking, for he resented the liberty by +depriving the transgressor of his identity forever, and made him become +each instant whatever character occurred to the mind of him he talked +to. + +Though the parallel scarcely applied, the very thought of it sent an +aguish thrill through me,--a terror so great and acute that it was very +long before I could turn the medal round and read it on the reverse. +There, indeed, was matter for vainglory! "It was but t'other day," +thought I, "and Lord Keldrum and his friends fancied I was their +intimate acquaintance, Jack Burgoyne; and though they soon found out the +mistake, the error led to an invitation to dinner, a delightful evening, +and, alas! that I should own, a variety of consequences, some of which +proved less delightful. Now, however, Fortune is in a more amiable +mood; she will have it that I resemble a prince. It is a project which I +neither aid nor abet; but I am not childish enough to refuse the _rôle_ +any more than I should spoil the Christmas revelries of a country-house +by declining a part in a tableau or in private theatricals. I say, in +the one case as in the other, 'Here is Potts! make of him what you will. +Never is he happier than by affording pleasure to his friends.' To +what end, I would ask, should I rob that old lady upstairs at No. 12, +evidently a widow, and with not too many enjoyments to solace her old +age,--why should I rob her of what she herself called the proudest +episode in her life? Are not, as the moralists tell us, all our joys +fleeting? Why, then, object to this one that it may only last for a few +days? Let us suppose it only to endure throughout our journey, and the +poor old soul will be so happy, never caring for the fatignes of the +road, never fretting about the inn-keepers* charges, but delighted to +know that his Royal Highness enjoys himself, and sits over his bottle of +Chambertin every evening in the garden, apparently as devoid of care as +though he were a bagman." + +I cannot say how it may be with others, but, for myself, I have always +experienced an immense sense of relief, actual repose, whenever I +personated somebody else; I felt as though I had left the man Potts +at home to rest and refresh himself, and took an airing as another +gentleman; just as I might have spared my own paletot by putting on a +friend's coat in a thunderstorm. Now I _did_ wish for a little repose, I +felt it would be good for me. As to the special part allotted me, I took +it just as an obliging actor plays Hamlet or the Cock to convenience the +manager. Mrs. Keats likes it, and, I repeat, I do not object to it. + +It was evident that the old lady was not going to communicate her secret +to her companion, and this was a great source of satisfaction to me. +Whatever delusions I threw around Miss Herbert I intended should be +lasting. The traits in which I would invest myself to _her_ eyes, my +personal prowess, coolness in danger, skill in all manly exercises, +together with a large range of general gifts and acquirements, I meant +to accompany me through all time; and I am a sufficient believer in +magnetism to feel assured that by imposing upon _her_ I should go no +small part of the road to deceiving myself, and that the first step in +any gift is to suppose you are eminently suited to it, is a well-known +and readily acknowledged maxim. Women grow pretty from looking in the +glass; why should not men grow brave from constantly contemplating their +own courage? + +"Yes, Potts, be a Prince, and see how it will agree with you!" + + + + +CHAPTER XXI. HOW I PLAY THE PRINCE. + +Mrs. Keats came down, and our dinner that day was somewhat formal. I +don't think any of ns felt quite at ease, and, for my own part, it was +a relief to me when the old lady asked my leave to retire after her +coffee. "If you should feel lonely, sir, and if Miss Herbert's company +would prove agreeable--" + +"Yes," said I, languidly, "that young person will find me in the +garden." And therewith I gave my orders for a small table under a great +weeping-ash, and the usual accompaniment of my after-dinner hours, a +cool flask of Chambertin. I had time to drink more than two-thirds of +my Burgundy before Miss Herbert appeared. It was not that the hour hung +heavily on me, or that I was not in a mood of considerable enjoyment, +but somehow I was beginning to feel chafed and impatient at her long +delay. Could she possibly have remonstrated against the impropriety of +being left alone with a young man? Had she heard, by any mischance, that +impertinent phrase by which I designated her? Had Mrs. Keats herself +resented the cool style of my permission by a counter-order? "I wish I +knew what detains her!" cried I to myself, just as I heard her step on +the gravel, and then saw her coming, in very leisurely fashion, up the +walk. + +Determined to display an indifference the equal of her own, I waited +till she was almost close; and then, rising languidly, I offered her a +chair with a superb air of Brummelism, while I listlessly said, "Won't +you take a seat?" + +It was growing duskish, but I fancied I saw a smile on her lip as she +sat down. + +"May I offer you a glass of wine or a cigar?" said I, carelessly. + +"Neither, thank you," said she, with gravity. + +"Almost all women of fashion smoke nowadays," I resumed. "The Empress +of the French smokes this sort of thing here; and the Queen of Bavaria +smokes and chews." + +She seemed rebuked at this, and said nothing. + +"As for myself," said I, "I am nothing without tobacco,--positively +nothing. I remember one night,--it was the fourth sitting of the +Congress at Paris, that Sardinian fellow, you know his name, came to me +and said,-- + +"'There's that confounded question of the Danubian Provinces coming on +to-morrow, and Gortschakoff is the only one who knows anything about it. +Where are we to get at anything like information?' + +"'When do you want it, Count?' said I. + +"'To-morrow, by eleven at latest There must be, at least, a couple of +hours to study it before the Congress meets.' + +"'Tell them to bring in ten candles, fifty cigars, and two quires of +foolscap,' said I, 'and let no one pass this door till I ring.' At ten +minutes to eleven next morning he had in his hands that memoir which +Lord C. said embodied the prophetic wisdom of Edmund Burke with the +practical statesmanship of the great Commoner. Perhaps you have read +it?" + +"No, sir." + +"Your tastes do not probably incline to affairs of state. If so, only +suggest what you 'd like to talk on. I am indifferently skilled in most +subjects. Are you for the poets? I am ready, from Dante to the Biglow +Papers. Shall it be arts? I know the whole thing from Memmling and his +long-nosed saints, to Leech and the Punctuate. Make it antiquities, +agriculture, trade, dress, the drama, conchology, or cock-fighting,-- +I'm your man; so go in; and don't be afraid that you 'll disconcert me." + +"I assure you, sir, that my fears would attach far more naturally to my +own insufficiency." + +"Well," said I, after a pause, "there's something in that Macaulay used +to be afraid of me. Whenever Mrs. Montagu Stanhope asked him to one +of her Wednesday dinners, he always declined if I was to be there. You +don't seem surprised at that?" + +"No, sir," said she, in the same quiet, grave fashion. + +"What's the reason, young lady," said I, somewhat sternly, "that you +persist in saying 'sir' on every occasion that you address me? The ease +of that intercourse that should subsist between us is marred by this +Americanism. The pleasant interchange of thought loses the charming +feature of equality. How is this?" + +"I am not at liberty to say, sir." + +"You are not at liberty to say, young lady?" said I, severely. "You +tell me distinctly that your manner towards me is based upon a something +which you must not reveal?" + +"I am sure, sir, you have too much generosity to press me on a subject +of which I cannot, or ought not to speak." + +That fatal Burgundy had got into my brains, while the princely delusion +was uppermost; and if I had been submitted to the thumbscrew now, I +would have died one of the Orleans family. + +"Mademoiselle," said I, grandly, "I have been fortunately, or +unfortunately, brought up in a class that never tolerates contradiction. +When we ask, we feel that we order." + +"Oh, sir, if you but knew the difficulty I am in--" + +"Take courage, my dear creature," said I, blending condescension with +something warmer. "You will at least be reposing your confidence where +it will be worthily bestowed." + +"But I have promised--not exactly promised; but Mrs. Keats enjoined me +imperatively not to betray what she revealed to me." + +"Gracious Powers!" cried I, "she has not surely communicated my +secret,--she has not told you who I am?" + +"No, sir, I assure you most solemnly that she has not; but being annoyed +by what she remarked as the freedom of my manner towards you at dinner, +the readiness with which I replied to your remarks, and what she deemed +the want of deference I displayed for them, she took me to task this +evening, and, without intending it, even before she knew, dropped +certain expressions which showed me that you were one of the very +highest in rank, though it was your pleasure to travel for the moment in +this obscurity and disguise." + +She quickly perceived the indiscretion she had committed, and said, +"Now, Miss Herbert, that an accident has put you in possession of +certain circumstances, which I had neither the will nor the right to +reveal, will you do me the inestimable favor to employ this knowledge +in such a way as may not compromise me?' I told her, of course, that +I would; and having remarked how she occasionally--inadvertently, +perhaps--used 'sir' in addressing you, I deemed the imitation a safe +one, while it as constantly acted as a sort of monitor over myself to +repress any relapse into familiarity." + +"I am very sorry for all this," said I, taking her hand in mine, and +employing my most insinuating of manners towards her. "As it is more +than doubtful that I shall ever resume the station that once pertained +to me; as, in fact, it may be my fortune to occupy for the rest of +life an humble and lowly condition, my ambition would have been to draw +towards me in that modest station such sympathies and affections as +might attach to one so circumstanced. My plan was to assume an obscure +name, seek out some unfrequented spot, and there, with the love of +one--one only--solve the great problem, whether happiness is not as much +the denizen of the thatched cottage as of the gilded palace. The first +requirement of my scheme was that my secret should be in my own keeping. +One can steel his own heart against vain regrets and longings; but one +cannot secure himself against the influence of those sympathies which +come from without, the unwise promptings of zealous followers, the hopes +and wishes of those who read your submission as mere apathy." + +I paused and sighed; she sighed, too, and there was a silence between +us. + +"Must she not feel very happy and very proud," thought I, "to be sitting +there on the same bench with a prince, her hand in his, and he pouring +out all his confidence in her ear? I cannot fancy a situation more full +of interest." + +"After all, sir," said she, calmly, "remember that Mrs. I Keats alone +knows your secret. _I_ have not the vaguest suspicion of it." + +"And yet," said I, tenderly, "it is to _you_ I would confide it; it is +in _your_ keeping I would wish to leave it; it is from _you_ I would ask +counsel as to my future." + +"Surely, sir, it is not to such inexperience as mine you would address +yourself in a difficulty?" + +"The plan I would carry out demands none of that crafty argument called +'knowing the world.' All that acquaintance with the byplay of life, +its conventionalities and exactions, would be sadly out of place in an +Alpine village, or a Tyrolese Dorf, where I mean to pitch my tent. Do +you not think that your interest might be persuaded to track me so far?" + +"Oh, sir, I shall never cease to follow your steps with the deepest +anxiety." + +"Would it not be possible for me to secure a lease of that sympathy?" + +"Can you tell me what o'clock it is, sir?" said she, very gravely. + +"Yes," said I, rather put out by so sudden a diversion; "it is a few +minutes after nine." + +"Pray excuse my leaving you, sir, but Mrs. Keats takes her tea at nine, +and will expect me." + +And, with a very respectful courtesy, she withdrew, before I could +recover my astonishment at this abrupt departure. + +"I trust that my Royal Highness said nothing indiscreet," muttered I to +myself; "though, upon my life, this hasty exit would seem to imply it." + + + + +CHAPTER XXII. INCIDENTS OF THE SECOND DAY'S JOURNEY. + +We continued our journey the next morning, but it was not without +considerable difficulty that I succeeded in maintaining my former place +in the cabriolet. That stupid old woman fancied that princes were born +to be bored, and suggested accordingly that I should travel inside with +her, leaving the macaw and the toy terriers to keep company with Miss +Herbert. It was only by insisting on an outside place as a measure of +health that I at last prevailed, telling her that Dr. Corvisart was +peremptory on two points regarding me. "Let him," said he, "have +abundance of fresh air, and never be without some young companion." + +And so we were again in our little leathern tent, high up in the fresh +breezy atmosphere, above dusty roads, and with a glorious view over that +lovely country that forms the approach to the Black Forest. The road +was hilly, and the carriage-way a heavy one; but we had six horses, who +trotted along briskly, shaking their merry bells, and flourishing their +scarlet tassels, while the postilions cracked their whips or broke out +into occasional bugle performances, principally intended to announce to +the passing peasants that we were very great folk, and well able to pay +for all the noise we required. + +I was not ashamed to confess my enjoyment in thus whirling along at +some ten miles the hour, remembering how that great sage Dr. Johnson had +confessed to a like pleasure, and, animated by the inspiriting air and +the lovely landscape, could not help asking Miss Herbert if she did not +feel it "very jolly." + +She assented with a sort of constrained courtesy that by no means +responded to the warmth of my own sensations, and I felt vexed and +chafed accordingly. + +"Perhaps you prefer travelling inside?" said I, with some pique. + +"No, sir." + +"Perhaps you dislike travelling altogether?" + +"No, sir." + +"Perhaps--" But I checked myself, and with a somewhat stiff air, I said, +"Would you like a book?" + +"If it would not be rude to read, sir, while you--" + +"Oh, not at all, never mind me, I have more than enough to think of. +Here are some things by Dumas, and Paul Féval, and some guide-book +trash." And with that I handed her several volumes, and sank back into +my corner in sulky isolation. + +Here was a change! Ten minutes ago all Nature smiled on me; from +the lark in the high heavens to the chirping grasshopper in the tall +maize-field, it was one song of joy and gladness. The very clouds as +they swept past threw new and varied light over the scene, as though to +show fresh effects of beauty on the landscape,--the streams went by in +circling eddies, like smiles upon a lovely face,--and now all was sad +and crape-covered! "What has wrought this dreary change?" thought I; "is +it possible that the cold looks of a young woman, good-looking, I grant, +but no regular downright beauty after all, can have altered the aspect +of the whole world to you? Are you so poor a creature in yourself, +Potts, so beggared in your own resources, so barren in all the +appliances of thought and reflection, that if your companion, whoever +she or he may be, sulk, you must needs reflect the humor? Are you +nothing but the mirror that displays what is placed before it?" + +I set myself deliberately to scan the profile beside me; her black veil, +drawn down on the side furthest from me, formed a sort of background, +which displayed her pale features more distinctly. All about the brow +and orbit was beautifully regular, but the mouth was, I fancied, severe; +there was a slight retraction of the upper lip that seemed to imply +over-firmness, and then the chin was deeply indented,--"a sign," Lavater +says, "of those who have a will of their own." "Potts," thought I, "she +'d rule you,--that's a nature would speedily master yours. I don't think +there's any softness either, any of that yielding gentleness there, that +makes the poetry of womanhood; besides, I suspect she's worldly,--those +sharply cut nostrils are very worldly! She is, in fact,"--and here I +unconsciously uttered my thoughts aloud,--"she is, in fact, one to say, +'Potts, how much have you got a-year? Let us have it in figures.'" + +"So you are still ruminating over the life of that interesting +creature," said she, laying down her book to laugh; "and shall I +confess, I lay awake half the night, inventing incidents and imagining +situations for him." + +"For whom?" said I, innocently. + +"For Potts, of course. I cannot get him out of my head such as I first +fancied he might be, and I see now, by your unconscious allusion to him, +that he has his place in your imagination also." + +"You mistake, Miss Herbert,--at least you very much misapprehend my +conception of that character. The Potts family has a high historic +tradition. Sir Constantine Potts was cup-bearer to Henry H., and I +really see no reason why ridicule should attach to one who may be, most +probably, his descendant." + +"I 'm very sorry, sir, if I should have dared to differ with you; but +when I heard the name first, and in connection with two such names as +Algernon Sydney, and when I thought by what strange accident did they +ever meet in the one person--" + +"You are very young, Miss Herbert, and therefore not removed from the +category of the teachable," said I, with a grand didactic look. "Let +me guard you, therefore, against the levity of chance inferences. What +would you say if a person named Potts were to make the offer of his +hand? I mean, if he were a man in all respects acceptable, a gentleman +captivating in manner and address, agreeable in person, graceful and +accomplished,--what would you reply to his advances?" + +"Really, sir, I am shocked to think of the humble opinion I may be +conveying of my sense and judgment, but I'm afraid I should tell him it +is impossible I could ever permit myself to be called Mrs. Potts." + +"But, in Heaven's name, why?--I ask you why?" + +"Oh, sir! don't be angry with me; it surely does not deserve such a +penalty; at the worst, it is a mere caprice on my part." + +"I am not angry, young lady, I am simply provoked; I am annoyed to think +that a prejudice so unworthy of you should exercise such a control over +your judgment." + +"I am quite ashamed, sir, to have been the occasion of so much +displeasure to you. I hope and trust you will ascribe it to my ignorance +of life and the world." + +"If you are dissatisfied with yourself, Miss Herbert, I have no more +to say," said I, taking up a book, and pretending to read, while I felt +such a disgust with myself that if I had n't been strapped up with +a leather apron up to my chin, I think I should have thrown myself +headlong down and let the wheel pass over me. "What is it, Potts, that +is corrupting and destroying the naturally fine and noble nature you +are certainly endowed with? Is it this confounded elevation to princely +rank? If you were not a Royal Highness, would you have dared to utter +such cruelties as these? Would you, in your most savage of moods, have +presumed to make that pale cheek paler, and forced a tear-drop into that +liquid eye? I always used to think that the greatest effort of a man was +to keep him on a level with those born above him. I now find it is far +harder to stoop than to stand on tiptoe. Such a pain in the back comes +of always bending, and it is so difficult to do it gracefully!" + +I was positively dying to be what the French call _bon prince_, and +yet I didn't know how to set about it. I could not take off one of my +decorations,--a cross or a ribbon,--for I had none; nor give it, because +she, being a woman, could n't wear it. I could n't make her one of the +court ladies, for there was no court; and yet it was clear something +should be done, if one only knew what it was. "I suppose now," said I to +myself, "a real R. H. would see his way here at once; the right thing to +do, the exact expression to use would occur as naturally to his mind +as all this embarrassment presents itself to mine. 'Whenever your head +cannot guide you,' says a Spanish proverb, 'ask your heart;' and so I +did, and my heart spoke thus: 'Tell her, Potts, who you are, and what; +say to her, "Listen, young lady, to the words of truth from one who +could tell you far more glibly, far more freely, and far more willingly, +a whole bushel of lies. It will sit light on his heart that he deceive +the old lady inside, but _you_ he cannot, will not deceive. Do not +deem the sacrifice a light one; it cost St. George far less to go out +dragon-hunting than it costs me to slay this small monster who ever +prompts me to feats of fancy."'" + +"I am very sorry to be troublesome, sir, but as we change horses here, I +will ask you to assist me to alight; the weather looks very threatening, +and some drops of rain have already fallen." + +These words roused me from my revery to action, and I got down, not very +dexterously either, for I slipped, and made the postilion laugh, +and then I helped her, who accomplished the descent so neatly, so +gracefully, showing the least portion of such an ankle, and accidentally +giving me such a squeeze of the hand! The next moment she was lost to +me, the clanking steps were drawn up, the harsh door banged to, and I +was alone,--all alone in the world. + +Like a sulky eagle, sick of the world, I climbed up to my eyry. I +no longer wished for sunshine or scenery; nay, I was glad to see the +postboys put on their overcoats and prepare for a regular down-pour. I +liked to think there are some worse off than even Potts. In half an hour +_they_ will be drenched to the skin, and I 'll not feel a drop of it! + +The little glass slide at my back was now withdrawn, and Miss Herbert's +pale, sweet face appeared at it. She was saying that Mrs. Keats urgently +entreated I would come inside, that she was so uneasy at my being +exposed to such a storm. + +I refused, and was about to enter into an account of my ascent of Mont +Blanc, when the slide was closed and my listener lost to me. + +"Is it possible, Potts," said I, "that she has detected this turn of +yours for the imaginative line, and that she will not encourage it, +even tacitly? Has she said, 'There is a young man of genius, gifted +marvellously with the richest qualities, and yet such is the exuberance +of his fancy that he is positively its slave. Not content to let him +walk the earth like other men, she attaches wings to him and carries him +off into the upper air. I will endeavor, however hard the task, to clip +his feathers and bring him back to the common haunts of men'? Try it, +fair enchantress, try it!" + +The rain was now coming down in torrents, and with such swooping gusts +of wind that I was forced to fasten the leather curtain in front of me, +and sit in utter darkness, denied even the passing pleasure of seeing +the drenched postboys bobbing up and down on the wet saddles. I grew +moody and sad. Every Blue Devil of my acquaintance came to pay his visit +to me, and brought a few more of his private friends. I bethought me +that I was hourly travelling away further and further from my home; that +all this long road must surely be retraced one day or other, though not +in a carriage and post, but probably in a one-horse cart, with a mounted +gendarme on either side of it, and a string to my two wrists in their +bridle hands. I thought of that vulgar herd of mankind so ready to weep +over a romance, and yet send the man who acts one to a penal +settlement. I thought how I should be described as the artful knave, +the accomplished swindler. As if I was the first man who ever took an +exaggerated estimate of his own merits! Go into the House of Commons, +visit the National Gallery, dine at a bar or a military mess, frequent, +in one word, any of the haunts of men, and with what _pièces pour servir +à l'histoire_ of self-deception will you come back loaded! + +The sliding window at my back was again drawn aside, and I heard Miss +Herbert's voice,-- + +"If I am not giving you too much trouble, sir, would you kindly see if I +have not dropped a bracelet--a small jet bracelet--in the _coupé?_" + +"I 'm in the dark here, but I'll do my best to find it." + +"We are very nearly so, too," said she; "and Mrs. Keats is fast asleep, +quite unmindful of the thunder." + +With some struggling I managed to get down on my knees, and was soon +engaged in a very vigorous search. To aid me, I lighted a lucifer match, +and by its flickering glare I saw right in front of me that beautiful +pale face, enclosed as it were in a frame by the little window. She +blushed at the fixedness of my gaze, for I utterly forgot myself in my +admiration, and stared as though at a picture. My match went out, and I +lit another. Alas! there she was still, and I could not force myself to +turn away, but gazed on in rapture. + +"I'm sorry to give you this trouble, sir," said she, in some confusion. +"Pray never mind it. It will doubtless be found this evening when we +arrive." + +Another lucifer, and now I pretended to be in most eager pursuit; but +somehow my eyes would look up and rest upon her sweet countenance. + +"A diamond bracelet, you said?" muttered I, not knowing what I was +saying. + +"No, sir, mere jet, and of no value whatever, save to myself. I am +really distressed at all the inconvenience I have occasioned you. I +entreat you to think no more of it." + +My match was out, and I had not another. "Was ever a man robbed of such +ecstasy for a mere pennyworth of stick and a little sulphur? O Fortune! +is not this downright cruelty?" + +As I mumbled my complaints, I searched away with an honest zeal, patting +the cushions all over, and poking away into most inscrutable pockets +and recesses, while she, in a most beseeching tone, apologized for her +request and besought me to forget it. + +"Found! found!" cried I, in true delight, as I chanced upon the treasure +at my feet. + +"Oh, sir, you have made me so happy, and I am so much obliged, and so +grateful to you!" + +"Not another word, I beseech you," whispered I; "you are actually +turning my head with ecstasy. Give me your hand, let me clasp it on your +arm, and I am repaid." + +"Will you kindly pass it to me, sir, through the window?" said she, +timidly. + +"Ah!" cried I, in anguish, "your gratitude has been very fleeting." + +She muttered something I could not catch, but I heard the rustle of her +sleeve against the window-frame, and dark as it was, pitch dark, I knew +her hand was close to me. Opening the bracelet, I passed it round her +wrist as reverently as though it were the arm of a Queen of Spain, one +touch of whom is high treason. I trembled so, that it was some +seconds before I could make the clasp meet. This done, I felt she was +withdrawing her hand, when, with something like that headlong impulse +by which men set their lives on one chance, I seized the fingers in my +grasp, and implanted two rapturous kisses on them. She snatched her hand +hastily away, closed the window with a sharp bang, and I was alone once +more in my darkness, but in such a flutter of blissful delight that even +the last reproving gesture could scarcely pain me. It mattered little to +me that day that the lightning felled a great pine and threw it across +the road, that the torrents were so swollen that we only could pass +them with crowds of peasants around the carriage with ropes and poles +to secure it, that four oxen were harnessed in front of our leaders to +enable us to meet the hurricane, or that the postboys were paid treble +their usual fare for all their perils to life and limb. I cared for none +of these, Enough for me that, on this day, I can say with Schiller, + + "Ich habe genossen das irdische Gluck, + Ich habe gelebt and geliebt!" + + + + +CHAPTER XXIII. JEALOUSY UNSUPPORTED BY COURAGE + +We arrived at a small inn on the bordera of the Titi-see at nightfall; +and though the rain continued to come down unceasingly, and huge masses +of cloud hung half-way down the mountain, I could see that the spot was +highly picturesque and romantic. Before I could descend from my lofty +eminence, so strapped and buttoned and buckled up was I, the ladies had +time to get out and reach their rooms. When I asked to be shown mine, +the landlord, in a very free-and-easy tone, told me that there was +nothing for me but a double-bedded room, which I must share with another +traveller. I scouted this proposition at once with a degree of force, +and, indeed, of violence, that I fancied must prove irresistible; but +the stupid German, armed with native impassiveness, simply said, "Take +it or leave it, it's nothing to me," and left me to look after his +business. I stormed and fumed. I asked the chambermaid if she knew who I +was, and sent for the Hausknecht to tell him that all Europe should ring +with this indignity. I more than hinted that the landlord had sealed +his own doom, and that his miserable cabaret had seen its last days of +prosperity. + +I asked next, where was the Jew pedler? I felt certain he was a fellow +with pencil-cases and pipe-beads, who owned the other half of the +territory. Could he not be bought up? He would surely sleep in the +cow-house, if it were too wet to go up a tree! + +François came to inform me that he was out fishing; that he fished all +day, and only came home after dark; his man had told him so much. + +"His man? Why, has he a servant?" asked I. + +"He's not exactly like a servant, sir; but a sort of peasant with a +green jacket and a tall hat and leather gaiters, like a Tyrolese." + +"Strolling actors, I 'll be sworn," mattered I; "fellows taking a week's +holiday on their way to a new engagement How long have they been here?" + +"Came on Monday last in the diligence, and are to remain till the +twentieth; two florins a day they give for everything." + +"What nation are they?" + +"Germans, sir, regular Germans; never a pipe ont of their mouths, master +and man. I learned all this from his servant, for they have put up a bed +for me in his room." + +A sudden thought now struck me: "Why should not François give up his bed +to this stranger, and occupy the one in my room?" This arrangement would +suit _me_ better, and it ought to be all the same to Hamlet or Groetz, +or whatever he was. "Just lounge about the door, François," said I, +"till he comes back; and when you see him, open the thing to him, +civilly, of course; and if a crown piece, or even two, will help the +negotiation, slip it slyly into his hand. You understand?" + +François winked like a man who had corrupted customhouse officers in his +time, and even bribed bigger functionaries at a pinch. + +"If he's in trade, you know, François, just hint that if he sends in +his pack in the course of the evening, the ladies might possibly take a +fancy to something." + +Another wink. + +"And throw out--vaguely, of course, very vaguely--that we are swells, +but in strict _incog._" + +A great scoundrel was François; he was a Swiss, and could cheat any +one, and, like a regular rogue, never happier than when you gave him +a mission of deceit or duplicity. In a word, when I gave him his +instructions, I regarded the negotiation as though it were completed, +and now addressed myself to the task of looking after our supper, which, +with national obstinacy, the landlord declared could not be ready +before nine o'clock. As usual, Mrs. Keats had gone to bed immediately +on arriving; but when sending me a "good-night" by her maid, she added, +"that whenever supper was served, Miss Herbert would come down." + +We had no sitting-room save the common room of the inn, a long, +low-ceilinged, dreary chamber, with a huge green-tile stove in one +corner, and down the centre a great oak table, which might have served +about forty guests. At one end of this three covers were laid for us, +the napkins enclosed in bone circlets, and the salt in great leaden +receptacles, like big ink-bottles; a very ancient brass lamp giving +its dim radiance over all. It was wearisome to sit down on the +straight-backed wooden chairs, and not less irksome to walk on the +gritty, sanded floor, and so I lounged in one of the windows, and +watched the rain. As I looked, I saw the figure of a man with a +fishing-basket and rod on his shoulder approaching the house. I guessed +at once it was our stranger, and, opening the window a few inches, I +listened to hear the dialogue between him and François. The window was +enclosed in the same porch as the door, so that I could hear a good deal +of what passed. François accosted him familiarly, questioned him as to +his sport, and the size of the fish he had taken. I could not hear the +reply, but I remarked that the stranger emptied his basket, and was +despatching the contents in different directions: some were for the +curé, and some for the postmaster, some for the brigadier of the +gendarmerie, and one large trout for the miller's daughter. + +"A good-looking wench, I'll be sworn," said François, as he heard the +message delivered. + +Again the stranger said something, and I thought, from the tone, +angrily, and François responded; and then I saw them walk apart for +a few seconds, during which François seemed to have all the talk to +himself,--a good omen, as it appeared to me, of success, and a sure +warranty that the treaty was signed. Francois, however, did not come to +report progress, and so I closed the window and sat down. + +"So you have got company to-night, Master Ludwig," said the stranger, +as he entered, followed by the host, who speedily seemed to whisper that +one of the arrivals was then before him. The stranger bowed stiffly but +courteously to me, which I returned not less haughtily; and I now +saw that he was a man about thirty-five, but much freckled, with a +light-brown beard and moustache. On the whole, a good-looking fellow, +with a very upright carriage, and something of a cavalry soldier in the +swing of his gait. + +"Would you like it at once, Herr Graf?" said the host, obsequiously. + +"Oh, he 's a count, is he?" said I, with a sneer to myself. "These +countships go a short way with _me_." + +"You had better consult your other guests; _I_ am ready when _they_ +are," said the stranger. + +Now, though the speech was polite and even considerate, I lost sight of +the courtesy in thinking that it implied we were about to sup in common, +and that the third cover was meant for him. + +"I say, landlord," said I, "you don't intend to tell me that you have no +private sitting-room, but that ladies of condition must needs come +down and sup here with"--I was going to say, "Heaven knows who;" but I +halted, and said--"with the general company." + +"That, or nothing!" was the sturdy response. "The guests in this house +eat here, or don't eat at all; eh, Herr Graf?" + +"Well, so far as my experience goes, I can corroborate you," said the +stranger, laughing; "though, you may remember, I have often counselled +you to make some change." + +"That you have; but I don't want to be better than my father and my +grandfather; and the Archduke Charles stopped here in _their_ time, and +never quarrelled with his treatment." + +I told the landlord to apprise the young lady whenever supper was ready, +and I walked to a distant part of the room and sat down. + +In about two minutes after, Miss Herbert appeared, and the supper was +served at once. I had not met her since the incident of the bracelet, +and I was shocked to see how cold she was in her manner, and how +resolute in repelling the most harmless familiarity towards her. + +I wanted to explain to her that it was through no fault of mine we were +to have the company of that odious stranger, that it was one of the +disagreeables of these wayside hostels, and to be borne with patience, +and that though he was a stage-player, or a sergeant of dragoons, he was +reasonably well-bred and quiet I did contrive to mumble out some of this +explanation; but, instead of attending to it, I saw her eyes following +the stranger, who had just draped a large riding-cloak over a +clothes-horse behind her chair, to serve as a screen. Thanks are all +very well, but I 'm by no means certain that gratitude requires such a +sweet glance as that, not to mention that I saw the expression in her +eyes for the first time. + +I thought the soup would choke me. I almost hoped it might. Othello was +a mild case of jealousy compared to me, and I felt that strangling would +not half glut my vengeance. And how they talked!--he complimenting +her on her accent, and she telling him how her first governess was +a Hanoverian from Celle, where they are all such purists. There was +nothing they did not discuss in those detestable gutturals, and as +glibly as if it bad been a language meet for human lips. I could not +eat a mouthful, but I drank and watched them. The fellow was not long in +betraying himself: he was soon deep in the drama. He knew every play of +Schiller by heart, and quoted the Wallenstein, the Bobbers, Don Carlos, +and Maria Stuart at will; so, too, was he familiar with Goethe and +Leasing. He had all the swinging intonation of the boards, and declaimed +so very professionally that, as he concluded a passage, I cried out, +without knowing it,-- + +"Take that for your benefit,--it's the best you have given yet." + +Oh, Lord, how they laughed! She covered up her face and smothered it; +but he lay back, and, holding the table with both hands, he positively +shouted and screamed aloud. I would have given ten years of life for the +courage to have thrown my glass of wine in his face; but it was no use. +Nature had been a niggard to me in that quarter, and I had to sit and +hear it,--exactly so, sit and hear it,--while they made twenty attempts +to recover their gravity and behave like ladies and gentlemen, and when, +no sooner would they look towards me, than off they were again as bad as +before. + +I revolved a dozen cutting sarcasms, all beginning with, "Whenever I +feel assured that you have sufficiently regained the customary calm +of good society;" but the dessert was served ere I could complete the +sentence, and now they were deep in the lyric poets, Uhland, and +Körner, and Freiligrath, and the rest of them. As I listened to their +enthusiasm, I wondered why people never went into raptures over a cold +in the head. But it was not to end here: there was an old harpsichord +in the room, and this he opened and set to work on in that fearful +two-handed fashion your German alone understands. The poor old crippled +instrument shook on its three legs, while the fourth fell clean off, and +the loose wires jangled and jarred like knives in a tray; but he only +sang the louder, and her ecstasies grew all the greater too. + +Heaven reward you, dear old Mrs. Keats, when you sent word down that +you could n't sleep a wink, and begging them to "send that noisy band +something and let them go away;" and then Miss Herbert wished him a +sweet goodnight, and he accompanied her to the door, and then there was +more good-night, and I believe I had a short fit; but when I came to +myself, he was sitting smoking his cigar opposite me. + +"You are no relative, no connection of the young lady who has just +left the room?" said he to me with a grave manner, so significant of +something under it that I replied hastily, "None,--none whatever." + +"Was that servant who spoke to me in the porch, as I came in this +evening, yours?" + +"Yes." This I said more boldly, as I suspected he was coming to the +question François had opened. + +"He mentioned to me," said he, slowly, and puffing his cigar at easy +intervals, "that you desire your servant should sleep in the same +room with you. I am always happy to meet the wishes of courteous +fellow-travellers, and so I have ordered my servant to give you _his_ +bed; he will sleep upstairs in what was intended for _you_. Good-night." +And with an insolent nod he lounged out of the room and left me. + + + + +CHAPTER XXIV. MY CANDOR AS AN AUTOBIOGRAPHER. + +My reader is sufficiently acquainted with me by this time to know that +there is one quality in me on which he can always count with safety,--my +candor! There may be braver men and more ingenious men; there may be, I +will not dispute it, persons more gifted with oratorical powers, better +linguists, better mathematicians, and with higher acquirements in art; +but I take my stand upon candor, and say, there never lived the man, +ancient or modern, who presented a more open and undisguised section of +himself than I have done, am doing, and hope to do to the end. And +what, I would ask you, is the reason why we have hitherto made so little +progress in that greatest of all sciences,--the knowledge of human +nature? Is it not because we are always engaged in speculating on what +goes on in the hearts of others, guessing, as it were, what people are +doing next door, instead of honestly recording what takes place in their +own house? + +You think this same candor is a small quality. Well, show me one +thoroughly honest autobiography. Of all the men who have written their +own memoirs, it is fair to presume that some may have lacked personal +courage, some been deficient in truthfulness, some forgetful of early +friendships, and so on. Yet where will you find me one, I only ask +one, who declares, "I was a coward, I never could speak truth, I was by +nature ungrateful"? + +Now, it would be exactly through such confessions as these our knowledge +of humanity would be advanced. The ship that makes her voyage without +the loss of a spar or a rope, teaches little; but there is a whole world +of information in the log of the vessel with a great hole in her, all +her masts carried away, the captain invariably drunk, and the crew +mutinous; then we hear of energy and daring and ready-wittedness, +marvellous resource, and indomitable perseverance; then we come to +estimate a variety of qualities that are only evoked by danger. Just +as some gallant skipper might say, "I saw that we couldn't weather the +point, and so I dropped anchor in thirty fathoms, and determined to +trust all to my cables;" or, "I perceived that we were settling down, +so I crowded all sail on, resolved to beach her." In the same spirit I +would like to read in some personal memoir, "Knowing that I could not +rely on my courage; feeling that if pressed hard, I should certainly +have told a lie--" Oh, if we only could get honesty like this! If some +great statesman, some grand foreground figure of his age would sit down +to give his trials as they really occurred, we should learn more of life +from one such volume than we glean from all the mock memoirs we have +been reading for centuries! + +It is the special pleading of these records that makes them so +valueless; the writer always is bent on making out his case. It is the +eternal representation of that spectacle said to be so pleasing to the +gods,--the good man struggling with adversity. But what we want to see +is the weak man, the frail man, the man who has to fight adversity +with an old rusty musket and a flint lock, instead of an Enfield rifle, +loading at the breech! + +I 'd not give a rush to see Blondin cross the Falls of Niagara on a +tight-rope; but I'd cross the Atlantic to see, «ay, the Lord Mayor or +the Master of the Rolls try it. + +Now, much-respected reader, do not for a moment suppose that I have, +even in my most vainglorious raptures, ever imagined that I was here +in these records supplying the void I have pointed out. Remember that I +have expressly told you such confessions, to be valuable, ought to +come from a great man. Painful as the avowal is, I am not a great man! +Elements of greatness I have in me, it is true; but there are wants, +deficiencies, small little details, many of them,--rivets and bolts, as +it were,--without which the machinery can't work; and I know this, and I +feel it. + +This digression has all grown out of my unwillingness to mention what +mention I must,--that I passed my night at the little inn on the table +where we supped. I had not courage to assert the right to my bed in the +Count's room; and so I wrapped myself in my cloak, and with my +carpetbag for a pillow, tried to sleep. It was no use; the most elastic +spring-mattress and a down cushion would have failed that night to +lull me! I was outraged beyond endurance: _she_ had slighted, _he_ +had insulted me! Such a provocation as he gave me could have but one +expiation. He could not, by any pretext, refuse me satisfaction. But was +I as ready to ask it? Was it so very certain that I would insist upon +this reparation? He was certain to wound, he might kill me! I believe I +cried over that thought. To be cut off in the bud of one's youth, in +the very spring-time of one's enjoyment,--I could not say of one's +utility,--to go down unnoticed to the grave, never appreciated, never +understood, with vulgar and mistaken judgments upon one's character and +motives! I thought my heart would burst with the affliction of such +a picture, and I said, "No, Potts, live; and reply to such would-be +slanderers by the exercise of the qualities of your great nature." +Numberless beautiful little episodes came thronging to my memory of +good men, men whose personal gallantry had won them a world-wide renown, +refusing to fight a duel. "We are to storm the citadel to-morrow, +Colonel," said one; "let us see which of us will be first up the +breach." How I loved that fellow for his speech; and I tortured my mind +how, as there was no citadel to be carried by assault, I could apply +its wisdom to my own case. What if I were to say, "Count, the world is +before us,--a world full of trials and troubles. With the common fortune +of humanity, we are certain each of us to have our share. What if we +meet on this spot, say ten years hence, and see who has best acquitted +himself in the conflict?" I wonder what he would say. The Germans are +a strange, imaginative, dreamy sort of folk. Is it not likely that he +would be struck by a notion so undeniably original? Is it not probable +that he would seize my hand with rapture, and say, "Ja! I agree"? +Still, it is possible that he might not; he might be one of those vulgar +matter-of-fact creatures who will regard nothing through the tinted +glass of fancy; he might ridicule the project, and tell it at breakfast +as a joke. I felt almost smothered as this notion crossed me. + +I next bethought me of the privileges of my rank. Could I, as an R. +H., accept the vulgar hazards of a personal encounter? Would not such +conduct be derogatory in one to whom great destinies might one day be +committed? Not that I lent myself, be it remarked, to the delusion +of being a prince; but that I felt, if the line of conduct would be +objectionable to men in my rank and condition, it inevitably followed +that it must be bad. What I could neither do as the descendant of St. +Louis, or the son of Peter Potts, must needs be wrong. These were the +grievous meditations of that long, long night; and though I arose from +the hard table, weary and with aching bones, I blessed the pinkish-gray +light that ushered in the day. I had scarcely completed a very rapid +toilet, when François came with a message from Mrs. Keats, "hoping I +had rested well, and begging to know at what hour it was my pleasure to +continue the journey." There was an evident astonishment in the fellow's +face at the embassy with which he was charged; and though he delivered +the message with reasonable propriety, there was a certain something in +his look that said, "What delusion is this you have thrown around the +old lady?" + +"Say that I am ready, François; that I am even impatient to be off, and +the sooner we start the better." + +This I uttered with all my heart; for I was eager to get away before +the odious German should be stirring, and could not subdue my anxiety to +avoid meeting him again. There was every reason to expect that we should +get off unnoticed, and I hastened out myself to order the horses and +stimulate the postilions to greater activity. This was no labor of +love, I promise you! The sluggardly inertness of that people passes all +belief; entreaties, objurgations, curses, even bribes could not move +them. They never admitted such a possibility as haste, and stumped about +in their wooden shoes or iron-bound boots, searching for articles of +horse-gear under bundles of hay or stacks of firewood, as though it +was the very first time in their lives that post-horses had ever been +required in that locality. "Make a great people out of such materials +as these!" muttered I; "what rubbish to imagine it! How, with such +intolerable apathy, are they to be moved? Where everything proceeds at +the same regulated slowness, how can justice ever overtake crime? When +can truth come up with falsehood? Whichever starts first here, must +inevitably win." To urge the creatures on by example, I assisted with my +own hands to put on the harness; not, I will own, with much advantage +to speed, for I put the collar on upside down, and, in revenge for the +indignity, the beast planted one of his feet upon me, and almost +drove the cock of his shoe through my instep. Almost mad with pain +and passion, I limped away into the garden, and sat down in a damp +summer-house. A sleepless night, a lazy ostler, and a bruised foot +are, after all, not stunning calamities; but there are moments when our +jarred nerves jangle at the slightest touch, and even the most trivial +inconveniences grow to the size of afflictions. + +"We began to fear you were lost, sir," said François, breaking in upon +my gloomy revery I cannot say how long after. "The horses have been at +the door this half-hour, and all the house searching after you." + +I did not deign a reply, but followed him, as he led me by a short path +to the house. Mrs. Keats and Miss Herbert had taken their places +inside the carriage, and, to my ineffable disgust, there was the German +chatting with them at the door, and actually presenting a bouquet the +landlord had just culled for her. Unable to confront the fellow with +that contemptuous indifference which I knew with a little time and +preparation I could summon to my aid, I scaled up to my leathern attic +and let down the blinds. + +"Do you mean," said I, through a small slit in my curtain,--"do you mean +to sit smoking there all day? Will you never drive on?" And now, with a +crash of bolts and a jarring of cordage, like what announced the launch +of a small ship, the heavy conveniency lurched, surged, and, after two +or three convulsive bounds, lumbered along, and we started on our day's +journey. As we bumped along, I remembered that I had never wished the +ladies a "good-morning," nor addressed them in any way; so completely +had my selfish preoccupation immersed me in my own annoyances, that I +actually forgot the commonest attentions of every-day life. I was pained +by this rudeness on my part, and waited with impatience for our first +change of horses to repair my omission. Before, however, we had gone a +couple of miles, the little window at my back was opened, and I +heard the old lady's voice, asking if I had ever chanced upon a more +comfortable country inn or with better beds. + +"Not bad,--not bad," said I, peevishly. "I had such a mass of letters to +write that I got little sleep. In fact, I scarcely could say I took any +rest." + +While the old lady expressed her regretful condolences at this, I saw +that Miss Herbert pinched her lips together as if to avoid a laugh, and +the bitter thought crossed me, "She knows it all!" + +"I am easily put out, besides," said I. "That is, at certain times I +am easily irritated, and a vulgar German fellow who supped with us last +night so ruffled my temper that I assure you he continued to go through +my head till morning." + +"Oh, don't call him vulgar!" broke in Miss Herbert; "surely there could +be nothing more quiet or unpretending than his manners." + +"If I were to hunt for an epithet for a month," retorted I, "a more +suitable one would never occur to me. The fellow was evidently an actor +of some kind,--perhaps a rope-dancer." + +She burst in with an exclamation; but at the same time Mrs. Keats +interposed, and though her words were perfectly inaudible to me, I had +no difficulty in gathering their import, and saw that "the young person" +was undergoing a pretty smart lecture for her presumption in daring to +differ in opinion with my Royal Highness. I suppose it was very ignoble +of me, but I was delighted at it. I was right glad that the old woman +administered that sharp castigation, and I burned even with impatience +to throw in a shell myself and increase the discomfiture. Mrs. Keats +finished her gallop at last, and I took up the running. + +"You were fortunate, madam," said I, "in the indisposition that confined +you to your room, and which rescued you from the underbred presumption +of this man's manners. I have travelled much, I have mixed largely, I +may say, with every rank and condition, and in every country of Europe, +so that I am not pronouncing the opinion of one totally inadequate to +form a judgment--" + +"Certainly not, sir. Listen to that, young lady," muttered she, in a +sort of under growl. + +"In fact," resumed I, "it is one of my especial amusements to observe +and note the forms of civilization implied by mere conventional +habits. If, from circumstances not necessary to particularize, certain +advantages have favored this pursuit--" + +When I had reached thus far in my very pompous preface, the clatter of +a horse coming up at full speed arrested my attention, and at the very +moment the German himself, the identical subject of our talk, dashed up +to the carriage window, and with a few polite words handed in a small +volume to Miss Herbert, which it seems he had promised to give her, but +could not accomplish before, in consequence of the abrupt haste of our +departure. The explanation did not occupy an entire minute, and he was +gone and out of sight at once. And now the little window was closed, +and I could distinctly hear that Mrs. Keats was engaged in one of those +salutary exercises by which age communicates its experiences to youth. +I wished I could have opened a little chink to listen to it, but I could +not do so undetected, so I had to console myself by imagining all the +shrewd and disagreeable remarks she must have made. Morals has its +rhubarb as well as medicine, wholesome, doubtless, when down, but +marvellously nauseous and very hard to swallow, and I felt that the +young person was getting a full dose; indeed, I could catch two very +significant words, which came and came again in the allocution, and +the very utterance of which added to their sharpness,--"levity," +"encouragement." There they were again! + +"Lay it on, old lady," muttered I; "your precepts are sound; never was +there a case more meet for their application. Never mind a little pain, +either,--one must touch the quick to make the cautery effectual. She +will be all the better for the lesson, and she has well earned it!" Oh, +Potts! Potts! was this not very hard-hearted and ungenerous? Why should +the sorrow of that young creature have been a pleasure to you? Is it +possible that the mean sentiment of revenge has had any share in this? +Are you angry with her that she liked that man's conversation, and +turned to _him_ in preference to _you?_ You surely cannot be actuated by +a motive so base as this? Is it for herself, for her own advantage, her +preservation, that you are thinking all this time? Of course it is. And +there, now, I think I hear her sob. Yes, she is crying; the old lady has +really come to the quick, and I believe is not going to stop there. + +"Well," thought I, "old ladies are an excellent invention; none of these +cutting severities could be done but for them. And they have a patient +persistence in this surgery quite wonderful, for when they have +flayed the patient all over, they sprinkle on salt as carefully as a +pastry-cook frosting a plum-cake." + +At last, I did begin to wish it was over. She surely must have addressed +herself to every phase of the question in an hour and a half; and yet +I could hear her still grinding, grinding on, as though the efficacy +of her precepts, like a homoeopathic remedy, were to be increased by +trituration. Fortunately, we had to halt for fresh horses; and so I got +down to chat with them at the carriage-door, and interrupt the lecture. +Little was I prepared for the reddened eyes and quivering lips of that +poor girl, as she drank off the glass of water she begged me to fetch +her, but still less for the few words she contrived to whisper in my ear +as I took the glass from her hands. + +"I hope you have made me miserable enough _now_." + +And with this the window was banged to, and away we went. + + + + +CHAPTER XXV. I MAINTAIN A DIGNIFIED RESERVE. + +I was so hurt by the last words of Miss Herbert to me, that I maintained +throughout the entire day what I meant to be a "dignified reserve," but +what I half suspect bore stronger resemblance to a deep sulk. My station +had its privileges, and I resolved to take the benefit of them. I +dined alone. Yes, on that day I did fall back upon the eminence of +my condition, and proudly intimated that I desired solitude. I was +delighted to see the dismay this declaration caused. Old Mrs. Keats was +speechless with terror. I was looking at her through a chink in the door +when Miss Herbert gave my message, and I thought she would have fainted. + +"What were his precise words? Give them to me exactly as he uttered +them," said she, tremulously, "for there are persons whose intimations +are half commands." + +"I can scarcely repeat them, madam," said the other, "but their purport +was, that we were not to expect him at dinner, that he had ordered it to +be served in his own room and at his own hour." + +"And this is very probably all your doing," said the old lady, with +indignation. "Unaccustomed to any levity of behavior, brought up in a +rank where familiarities are never practised, he has been shocked by +your conduct with that stranger. Yes, Miss Herbert, I say shocked, +because, however harmless in intention, such freedoms are utterly +unknown in--in certain circles." + +"I am sure, madam," replied she, with a certain amount of spirit, +"that you are laboring under a very grave misapprehension. There was no +familiarity, no freedom. We talked as I imagine people usually talk when +they sit at the same table. Mr.--I scarcely know his name--" + +"Nor is it necessary," said the old woman, tartly; "though, if you had, +probably this unfortunate incident might not have occurred. Sit down +there, however, and write a few lines in my name, hoping that his +indisposition may be very slight, and begging to know if he desire to +remain here to-morrow and take some repose." + +I waited till I saw Miss Herbert open her writing-desk, and then I +hastened off to my room to reflect over my answer to her note. Now that +the suggestion was made to me, I was pleased with the notion of passing +an entire day where we were. The place was Schaffhausen,--the famous +fall of the Rhine,--not very much as a cataract, but picturesque withal; +pleasant chestnut woods to ramble about, and a nice old inn in a wild +old wilderness of a garden that sloped down to the very river. + +Strange perversity is it not; but how naturally one likes everything to +have some feature or other out of keeping with its intrinsic purport! +An inn like an old _chateau_, a chief-justice that could ride a +steeple-chase, a bishop that sings Moore's melodies, have an immense +attraction for me. They seem all, as it were, to say, "Don't fancy life +is a mere four-roomed house with a door in the middle. Don't imagine +that all is humdrum and routine and regular. Notwithstanding his wig +and stern black eyebrows, there is a touch of romance in that old +Chancellor's heart that you could n't beat out of it with his great +mace; and his Grace the Primate there has not forgotten what made +the poetry of his life in days before he ever dreamed of charges or +triennial visitations." + +By these reflections I mean to convey that I am very fond of an inn that +does not look like an inn, but resembles a faded old country-house, or a +deserted convent, or a disabled mill. This Schaffhausen Gasthaus looked +like all three. It was the sort of place one might come to in a long +vacation, to live simply and to go early to bed, take monotony as a +tonic, and fancying unbroken quiet to be better than quinine. + +"Ah!" thought I, "if it had not been for that confounded German, what a +paradise might not this have been to me! Down there in that garden, with +the din of the waterfall around us, walking under the old cherry-trees, +brushing our way through tangled sweetbriers, and arbutus, and laburnum, +what delicious nonsense might I not have poured into her ear! Ay! and +not unwillingly had she heard it. That something within that never +deceives, that little crimson heart within the rose of conscience, tells +me that she liked me, that she was attracted by what, if it were not for +shame, I would call the irresistible attractions of my nature; and +now this creature of braten and beetroot has spoiled all, jarred the +instrument and unstrung the chords that might have yielded me such sweet +music." + +In thinking over the inadequacy of all human institutions, I have often +been struck by the fact that while the law gives the weak man a certain +measure of protection against the superior physical strength of the +powerful ruffian in the street, it affords none against the assaults of +the intellectual bully at a dinner-party. _He_ may maltreat you at his +pleasure, batter you with his arguments, kick you with inferences, and +knock you down with conclusions, and no help for it all! + +"Ah, here comes François with the note." I wrote one line in pencil +for answer: "am sensibly touched by your consideration, and will pass +to-morrow here." I signed this with a P., which might mean Prince, +Potts, or Pottinger. My reply despatched, I began to think how I could +improve the opportunity. "I will bring her to book," thought I; "I will +have an explanation." I always loved that sort of thing,--there is +an almost certainty of emotion; now emotion begets tears; tears, +tenderness; tenderness, consolation; and when you reach consolation, you +are, so to say, a tenant in possession; your title may be disputable, +your lease invalid, still you are there, on the property, and it will +take time at least to turn you out. "After all," thought I, "that rude +German has but troubled the water for a moment, the pure well of her +affections will by this time have regained its calm still surface, and I +shall see my image there as before." + +My meditations were interrupted, perhaps not unpleasantly. It was the +waiter with my dinner. I am not unsocial--I am eminently the reverse--I +may say, like most men who feel themselves conversationally gifted, I +like company, I see that my gifts have in such gatherings their natural +ascendancy,--and yet, with all this, I have always felt that to dine +splendidly, all alone, was a very grand thing. Mind, I don't say it is +pleasant or jolly or social, but simply that it is grand to see all that +table equipage of crystal and silver spread out for _you_ alone; to know +that the business of that gorgeous candelabrum is to light _you_; that +the two decorous men in black--archdeacons they might be, from the quiet +dignity of their manners--are there to wait upon _you_; that the whole +sacrifice, from the caviare to the cheese, was a hecatomb to _your_ +greatness. I repeat, these are all grand and imposing considerations, +and there have been times when I have enjoyed these _Lucullus cum +Lucullo_ festivals more than convivial assemblages. This day was one of +these: I lingered over my dinner in delightful dalliance. I partook of +nearly every dish, but, with a supreme refinement, ate little of any, +as though to imply, "I am accustomed to a very different _cuisine_ from +this; it is not thus that I fare habitually." And yet I was blandly +forgiving, accepting even such humble efforts to please as if they had +been successes. The Cliquot was good, and I drank no other wine, though +various flasks with tempting titles stood around me. + +Dinner over and coffee served, I asked the waiter what resources the +place possessed in the way of amusement. He looked blank and even +distressed at my question: he had all his life imagined that the Falls +sufficed for everything; he had seen the tide of travel halt there to +view them for years. Since he was a boy, he had never ceased to witness +the yearly recurring round of tourists who came to see, and sketch, and +scribble about them, and so he faintly muttered out a remonstrance,-- + +"Monsieur has not yet visited the Falls." + +"The Falls! why, I see them from this, and if I open the window I am +stunned with their uproar." + +I was really sorry at the pain my hasty speech gave him, for he looked +suddenly faint and ill, and after a moment gasped out,-- + +"But monsieur is surely not going away without a visit to the cataract? +The guide-books give two hours as the very shortest time to see it +effectually." + +"I only gave ten minutes to Niagara, my good friend," said I, "and would +not have spared even that, but that I wanted to hold a sprained ankle +under the fall." + +He staggered, and had to hold a chair to support himself. + +"There is, besides, the Laufen Schloss--" + +"As to castles," broke I in, "I have no need to leave my own to see all +that mediaeval architecture can boast. No, no," sighed I out, "if I am +to have new sensations, they must come through some other channel than +sight. Have you no theatre?" + +"No, sir. None." + +"No concert-rooms, no music-garden?" + +"None, sir." + +"Not even a circus?" said I, peevishly. + +"There was, sir, but it was not attended. The strangers all come to see +the Falls." + +"Confound the Falls! And what became of the circus?" + +"Well, they made a bad business of it; got into debt on all sides, for +oil, and forage, and printing placards, and so on, and then they beat +a sudden retreat one night, and slipped off, all but two, and, indeed, +they were about the best of the company; but somehow they lost their +way in the forest, and instead of coming up with their companions, found +themselves at daybreak at the outside of the town." + +"And these two unlucky ones, what were they?" + +"One was the chief clown, sir, a German, and the other was a little +girl, a Moor they call her; but the cleverest creature to ride or throw +somersaults through hoops of the whole of them." + +"And how do they live now?" + +"Very hardly, I believe, sir; and but for Tintefleck,--that's what they +call her,--they might starve; but she goes about with her guitar through +the _cafés_ of an evening, and as she has a sweet voice, she picks up +a few batzen. But the maire, I hear, won't permit this any longer, and +says that as they have no passport or papers of any kind, they must be +sent over the frontier as vagabonds." + +"Let that maire be brought before me," said I, with a haughty +indignation. "Let me tell him in a few brief words what I think of his +heartless cruelty--But no, I was forgetting,--I am here _incog_. +Be careful, my good man, that you do not mention what I have so +inadvertently dropped; remember that I am nobody here; I am Number Five +and nothing more. Send the unfortunate creatures, however, here, and let +me interrogate them. They can be easily found, I suppose?" + +"In a moment, sir. They were in the Platz just when I served the +pheasant." + +"What name does the man bear?" + +"I never heard a name for him. Amongst the company he was called +Vaterchen, as he was the oldest of them all; and, indeed, they seemed +all very fond of him." + +"Let Vaterchen and Tintefleck, then, come hither. And bring fresh +glasses, waiter." + +And I spoke as might an Eastern despot giving his orders for a "nautch;" +and then, waving my hand, motioned the messenger away. + + + + +CHAPTER XXVI. VATERCHEN AND TINTEFLECK + +Had Fortune decreed that I should be rich, I believe I would have been +the most popular of men. There is such a natural kindness of disposition +in me, blended with the most refined sense of discrimination. I love +humanity in the aggregate, and, at the same time, with a rare delicacy +of sentiment, I can follow through all the tortuous windings of the +heart, and actually sympathize in emotions that I never experienced. +No rank is too exalted, no lot too humble, for the exercise of my +benevolence. I have sat in my arm-chair with a beating, throbbing heart, +as I imagined the troubles of a king, and I have drunk my Bordeaux with +tears of gratitude as I fancied myself a peasant with only water +to slake his thirst. To a man of highly organized temperament, the +privations themselves are not necessary to eliminate the feeling they +would suggest. Coarser natures would require starvation to produce the +sense of hunger, nakedness to cause that of cold, and so on; the gifted +can be in rags, while enclosed in a wadded dressing-gown; they can go +supperless to bed after a meal of oysters and toasted cheese; they can, +if they will, be fatally wounded as they sit over their wine, or cast +away after shipwreck with their feet on the fender. Great privileges all +these; happy is he who has them, happy are they amidst whom he tries to +spread the blessings of his inheritance! + +Amid the many admirable traits which I recognize in myself,--and of +which I speak not boastfully, but gratefully, being accidents of my +nature as far removed from my own agency as the color of my eyes or the +shape of my nose,--of these, I say, I know of none more striking than +such as fit me to be a patron. I am graceful as a lover, touching as a +friend, but I am really great as a protector. + +Revelling in such sentiments as these, I stood at my window, looking at +the effect of moonlight on the Falls. It seemed to me as though in the +grand spectacle before my eyes I beheld a sort of illustration of my +own nature, wherein generous emotions could come gushing, foaming, and +falling, and yet the source be never exhausted, the flood ever at full. +I ought parenthetically to observe that the champagne was excellent, and +that I had drunk the third glass of the second bottle to the health of +the widow Cliquot herself. Thus standing and musing, I was startled by a +noise behind me, and, turning round, I saw one of the smallest of men in +a little red Greek jacket and short yellow breeches, carefully engaged +in spreading a small piece of carpet on the floor, a strip like a very +diminutive hearth-rug. This done, he gave a little wild exclamation +of "Ho!" and cut a somersault in the air, alighting on the flat of +his back, which he announced by a like cry of "Ha!" He was up again, +however, in an instant, and repeated the performance three times. He was +about, as I judged by the arrangement of certain chairs, to proceed to +other exercises equally diverting, when I stopped him by asking who he +was. + +"Your Excellency," said he, drawing himself up to his full height of, +say, four feet, "I am Vaterchen!" + +Every one knows what provoking things are certain chance resemblances, +how disturbing to the right current of thought, how subverting to the +free exercise of reason. Now, this creature before me, in his deeply +indented temples, high narrow forehead, aquiline nose, and resolute +chin, was marvellously like a certain great field-marshal with whose +features, notwithstanding the portraits of him, we are all familiar. It +was not of the least use to me that I knew he was not the illustrious +general, but simply a mountebank. There were the stern traits, haughty +and defiant; and do what I would, the thought of the great man would +clash with the capers of the little one. Owing to this impression, +it was impossible for me to address him without a certain sense of +deference and respect. + +"Will you not be seated?" said I, offering him a chair and taking one +myself. He accepted with all the quiet ease of good breeding, and smiled +courteously as I filled a glass and passed it towards him. + +I pressed my hand across my eyes for a few moments while I reflected, +and I muttered to myself,-- + +"Oh, Potts, if instead of a tumbler this had really been the hero, what +an evening might this be! Lives there that man in Europe so capable of +feeling in all its intensity the glorious privilege of such a meeting? +Who, like you, would listen to the wisdom distilling from those +lips? Who would treasure up every trait of voice, accent, and manner, +remembering, not alone every anecdote, but every expression? Who, like +you, could have gracefully led the conversation so as to range over the +whole wide ocean of that great life, taking in battles and sieges and +storm ings and congresses, and scenes of all that is most varied and +exciting in existence? Would not the record of one such night, drawn +by you, have been worth all the cold compilations and bleak biographies +that ever were written? You would have presented him as he sat there in +front of you." I opened my eyes to paint from the model, and there was +the little dog, with his legs straight up on each side of his head and +forming a sort of gothic arch over his face. The wretch had done the +feat to amuse me, and I almost fainted with horror as I saw it. + +"Sit down, sir," said I, in a voice of stern command. "You little know +the misery you have caused me." + +I refilled his glass, and closed my eyes once more. In my old +pharmaceutical experiences I had often made bread pills, and remembered +well how, almost invariably, they had been deemed successful. What +relief from pain to the agonized sufferer had they not given! What +slumber to the sleepless! What appetite, what vigor, what excitement! +Why should not the same treatment apply to morals as to medicine? Why, +with faith to aid one, cannot he induce every wished-for mood of mind +and thought? The lay figure to support the drapery suffices for the +artist, the Venus herself is in his brain. Now, if that little fellow +there would neither cut capers nor speak, I ask no more of him. Let him +sit firmly as he does now, staring me boldly in the face that way. + +"Yes," said I, "lay your hand on the arm of your chair, so, and let the +other be clenched thus." And so I placed him. "Never utter a word, but +nod to me at rare intervals." + +He has since acknowledged that he believed me to be deranged; but as I +seemed a harmless case, and he could rely on his activity for escape, he +made no objection to my directions, the less, too, that he enjoyed his +wine immensely, and was at liberty to drink as he pleased. + +"Now," thought I, "one glance, only one, to see that he poses properly." + +All right; nothing could be better. His face was turned slightly to +one side, giving what the painters call action to the head, and he was +perfect I now resigned myself to the working of the spell, and already +I felt its influence over me. Where and with what was I to begin? +Numberless questions thronged to my mind. I wanted to know a thousand +disputed things, and fully as many that were only disputed by myself. +I felt that as such another opportunity would assuredly never present +itself twice in my life, that the really great use of the occasion would +be to make every inquiry subsidiary to my own case,--to make all my +investigations what the Germans would call "Potts-wise." My intensest +anxiety was then to ascertain if, like myself, his Grace started in life +with very grand aspirations. + +"Did you feel, for instance, when playing practical jokes on the maids +of honor in Dublin, some sixty-odd years ago, that you were only, in +sportive vein, throwing off so much light ballast to make room for the +weightier material that was to steady you in the storm-tossed sea +before you? Have you experienced the almost necessity of these little +expansions of eccentricity as I have? Was there always in your heart, +as a young man, as there is now in mine, a profound contempt for the +opinions of your contemporaries? Did you continually find yourself +repeating, '_Respice finem!_ Mark where I shall be yet'?" There was +another investigation which touched me still more closely, but it was +long before I could approach it I saw all the difficulty and delicacy +of the inquiry; but, with that same recklessness of consequences which +would make me catch at a queen by the back hair if I was drowning, I +clutched at this discovery now, and, although trembling at my boldness, +asked, "Was your Grace ever afraid? I know the impertinence of the +question, but if you only guessed how it concerns me, you 'd forgive +it. Nature has made me many things, but not courageous. Nothing on earth +could induce me to risk life; the more I reason about it, the greater +grows my repugnance. Now, I would like to hear, is this what anatomists +call congenital? Am I likely to grow out of it? Shall I ever be a +dare-devil, intrepid, fire-eating sort of creature? How will the change +come over me? Shall I feel it coming? Will it come from within, or +through external agencies? And when it has arrived, what shall I become? +Am I destined to drive the Zouaves into the sea by a bayonet charge of +the North Cork Rifles, or shall I only be great in council, and take +weekly trips in the 'Fairy' to Cowes? I 'd like to know this, and begin +a course of preparation for my position, as I once knew of a militia +captain who hardened himself for a campaign by sleeping every night with +his head on the window-stool." + +As I opened my eyes, I saw the stern features in front of me. I thought +the words, "I was never afraid, sir!" rang through my brain till they +filled every ventricle with their din. + +"Not at Assaye?" + +"No, sir." + +"Not at the Douro?" + +"No, sir." + +"Not at Torres Vedras?" + +"I tell you again, no, sir!" + +Whether I uttered this last with any uncommon degree of vehemence or +not, I so frightened Vaterchen that he cut a somersault clean over the +chair, and stood grinning at me through the rails at the back of it I +motioned to him to be reseated, while, passing my hand across my brow, +I waved away the bright illusions that beset me, and, with a heavy sigh, +re-entered the dull world of reality. + +"You are a clown," said I, meditatively. "What is a clown?" + +He did not answer me in words, but, placing his hands on his knees, +stared at me steadfastly, and then, having fixed my attention, his face +performed a series of the most fearful contortions I ever beheld. With +one horrible spasm he made his mouth appear to stretch from ear to +ear; with another, his nose wagged from side to side; with a third, his +eyebrows went up and down alternately, giving the different sides of his +face two directly antagonistic expressions. I was shocked and horrified, +and called to him to desist. + +"And yet," thought I, "there are natures who can delight in these, and +see in them matter for mirth and laughter!" + +"Old man," said I, gravely, "has it ever occurred to you that in this +horrible commixture of expression, wherein grief wars with Joy and +sadness with levity, you are like one who, with a noble instrument +before him, should, instead of sweet sounds of harmony, produce wild, +unearthly discords, the jangling bursts of fiend-like voices?" + +"The Tintefleck can play indifferently well, your Excellency," said +he, humbly. "I never had any skill that way myself." + +Oh, what a _crassa natura_ was here! What a triple wall of dulness +surrounds such dark intelligences! + +"And where is the Tintefleck? Why is she not here?" asked I, anxious to +remove the discussion to a ground of more equality. + +"She is without, your Excellency. She did not dare to present herself +till your Excellency had desired, and is waiting in the corridor." + +"Let her come in," said I, grandly; and I drew my chair to a distant +corner of the room so as to give them a wider area to appear in, while +I could, at the same time, assume that attitude of splendid ease and +graceful protection I have seen a prince accomplish on the stage at +the moment the ballet is about to begin. The door opened, and Vaterchen +entered, leading Tintefleck by the hand. + + + + +CHAPTER XXVII. I ATTEMPT TO OVERTHROW SOCIAL PREJUDICES + +I was quite right,--Tintefleck's _entrée_ was quite dramatic. She +tripped into the room with a short step, nor arrested her ran till she +came close to me, when, with a deep courtesy, she bent down very low, +and then, with a single spring backward, retreated almost to the door +again. She was very pretty,--dark enough to be a Moor, but with a +rich brilliancy of skin never seen amongst that race, for she was a +Calabrian; and as she stood there with her arms crossed before her, and +one leg firmly advanced, and with the foot--a very pretty foot--well +planted, she was like--all the Italian peasants one has seen in the +National Gallery for years back. There was the same look, half shy; the +same elevation of sentiment in the brow, and the same coarseness of the +mouth; plenty of energy, enough and to spare of daring; but no timidity, +no gentleness. + +"What is she saying?" asked I of the old man, as I overheard a whisper +pass between them. "Tell me what she has just said to you." + +"It is nothing, your Excellency,--she is a fool." + +"That she may be, but I insist on hearing what it was she said." + +He seemed embarrassed and ashamed, and, instead of replying to me, +turned to address some words of reproach to the girl. + +"I am waiting for your answer," said I, peremptorily. + +"It is the saucy way she has gotten, your Excellency, all from +over-flattery; and now that she sees that there is no audience here, +none but your Excellency, she is impatient to be off again. She'll never +do anything for us on the night of a thin house." + +"Is this the truth, Tintefleck?" asked I. + +With a wild volubility, of which I could not gather a word, but +every accent of which indicated passion, if not anger, she poured out +something to the other, and then turned as if to leave the room. He +interposed quickly, and spoke to her, at first angrily, but at last in a +soothing and entreating tone, which seemed gradually to calm her. + +"There is more in this than you have told, Vaterchen," said I. "Let me +know at once why she is impatient to get away." + +"I would leave it to herself to tell your Excellency," said he, with +much confusion, "but that you could not understand her mountain dialect. +The fact is," added he, after a great struggle with himself,--"the fact +is, she is offended at your calling her 'Tintefleck.' She is satisfied +to be so named amongst ourselves, where we all have similar nicknames; +but that you, a great personage, high and rich and titled, should do so, +wounds her deeply. Had you said--" + +Here he whispered me in my ear, and, almost inadvertently, I repeated +after him, "Catinka." + +"_Si, si_, Catinka," said she, while her eyes sparkled with an +expression of wildest delight, and at the same instant she bounded +forward and kissed my hand twice over. + +I was glad to have made my peace, and, placing a chair for her at the +table, I filled out a glass of wine and presented it. She only shook her +head in dissent, and pushed it away. + +"She has odd ways in everything," said the old man; "she never eats but +bread and water. It is her notion that if she were to taste other food +she 'd lose her gift of fortune-telling." + +"So, then, she reads destiny too?" said I, in astonishment. + +Before I could inquire further, she swept her hands across the strings +of her guitar, and broke out into a little peasant song. It was very +monotonous, but pleasing. Of course, I knew nothing of the words nor +the meaning, but it seemed as though one thought kept ever and anon +recurring in the melody, and would continue to rise to the surface, like +the air-bubbles in a well. Satisfied, apparently, by the evidences of +my approval, she had no sooner finished than she began another. This was +somewhat more pretentious, and, from what I could gather, represented a +parting scene between a lover and his mistress. There was, at least, a +certain action in the song which intimated this. The fervent +earnestness of the lover, his entreaties, his prayers, and at last his +threatenings, were all given with effect, and there was actually good +acting in the stolid defiance she opposed to all; she rejected his vows, +refused his pledges, scorned his menaces; but when he had gone and left +her, when she saw herself alone and desolate, then came out a gush +of the most passionate sorrow, all the pent-up misery of a heart that +seemed to burst with its weight of agony. + +[Illustration: 252] + +If I was in a measure entranced while she was singing, such was the +tension of my nerves as I listened, that I was heartily glad when it +was over. As for her, she seemed so overcome by the emotion she had +parodied, that she bent her head down, covered her face with her hands, +and sobbed twice or thrice convulsively. + +I turned towards Vaterchen to ask him some question, I forget what, but +the little fellow had made such good use of the decanter beside him, +while the music went on, that his cheeks were a bright crimson, and his +little round eyes shone like coals of fire. + +"This young creature should never have fallen amongst such as you!" +said I, indignantly; "she has feeling and tenderness,--the powers of +expression she wields all evidence a great and gifted nature. She has, +so to say, noble qualities.' + +"Noble, indeed!" croaked out the little wretch, with a voice hoarse from +the strong Burgundy. + +"She might, with proper culture, adorn a very different sphere," said +I, angrily. "Many have climbed the ladder of life with humbler +pretensions." + +"Ay, and stand on one leg on top of it, playing the tambourine all the +time," hiccuped he, in reply. + +I did not fancy the way he carried out my figure, but went on with my +reflections,-- + +"Some, but they are few, achieve greatness at a bound--" + +"That's what she does," broke he in. "Twelve hoops and a drum behind +them, at one spring; she comes through like a flying-fish." + +I don't know what angry rejoinder was on my lips to this speech, when +there came a tap at my door. I arose at once and opened it. It was +Francois, with a polite message from Mrs. Keats, to say how happy it +would make her "if I felt well enough to join her and Miss Herbert at +tea." For a second or two I knew not what to reply. That I was "well +enough," François was sure to report, and in my flushed condition I was, +perhaps, the picture of an exaggerated state of convalescence; so, after +a moment's hesitation, I muttered out a blundering excuse, on the plea +of having a couple of friends with me, "who had chanced to be just +passing through the town on their way to Italy." + +I did not think Francois had time to report my answer, when I heard him +again at the door. It was, with his mistress's compliments, to say, she +"would be charmed if I would induce my friends to accompany me." + +I had to hold my hand on my side with laughter as I heard this message, +so absurd was the proposition, and so ridiculous seemed the notion of +it. This, I say, was the first impression made upon my mind; and then, +almost as suddenly, there came another and very different one. "What is +the mission you have embraced, Potts?" asked I of myself. "If it have a +but or an object, is it not to overthrow the mean and unjust prejudices, +the miserable class distinctions, that separate the rich from the poor, +the great from the humble, the gifted from the ignorant? Have you ever +proposed to yourself a nobler conquest than over that vulgar tyranny +by which prosperity lords it over humble fortune? Have you imagined a +higher triumph than to make the man of purple and fine linen feel happy +in the companionship of him in smock-frock and high-lows? Could you ask +for a happier occasion to open the campaign than this? Mrs. Keats is an +admirable representative of her class; she has all the rigid prejudices +of her condition; her sympathies may rise, but they never fall; she can +feel for the sorrows of the well-born, she has no concern for vulgar +afflictions. How admirable the opportunity to show her that grace and +genius and beauty are of all ranks! And Miss Herbert, too, what a test +it will be of _her!_ If she really have greatness of soul, if there +be in her nature a spirit that rises above petty conventionalities and +miserable ceremonials, she will take this young creature to her heart +like a sister. I think I see them with arms entwined,--two lovely +flowers on one stalk,--the dark crimson rose and the pale hyacinth! Oh, +Potts! this would be a nobler victory to achieve than to rend battalions +with grape, or ride down squadrons with the crash of cavalry."--"I +will come, Francois," said I. "Tell Mrs. Keats that she may expect us +immediately." I took especial care in my dialogue to keep this prying +fellow outside the room, and to interpose in every attempt that he made +to obtain a peep within. In this I perfectly succeeded, and dismissed +him, without his being able to report any one circumstance about my two +travelling friends. + +My next task was to inform them of my intentions on their behalf; nor +was this so easy as might be imagined, for Vaterchen had indulged very +freely with the wine, and all the mountains of Calabria lay between +myself and Tinte-fleck. With a great exercise of ingenuity, and more of +patience, I did at last succeed in making known to the old fellow that a +lady of the highest station and her friend were curious to see them. He +only caught my meaning after some time; but when he had surmounted +the difficulty, as though to show mc how thoroughly he understood the +request, and how nicely he appreciated its object, he began a series of +face contortions of the most dreadful kind, being a sort of programme +of what he intended to exhibit to the distinguished company. I repressed +this firmly, severely. I explained that an artist in all the relations +of private life should be ever the gentleman; that the habits of the +stage were no more necessary to carry into the world than the costume. +I dilated upon the fact that John Kemble had been deemed fitting company +by the first gentleman of Europe; and that if his manner could have +exposed him to a criticism, it was in, perhaps, a slight tendency to an +over-reserve, a cold and almost stern dignity. I 'm not sure Vaterchen +followed me completely, nor understood the anecdotes I introduced about +Edmund Bean and Lord Byron; but I now addressed myself pictorially to +Tintefleck,--pictorially, I say, for words were hopeless. I signified +that a _très grande dame_ was about to receive her. I arose, with my +skirts expanded in both hands, made a reverent courtesy, throwing my +head well back, looking every inch a duchess. But, alas for my powers +of representation! she burst into a hearty laugh, and had at last to lay +her head on Vaterchen's shoulder out of pure exhaustion. + +"Explain to her what I have told you, sir, and do not sit grinning at me +there, like a baboon," said I, in a severe voice. + +I cannot say how he acquitted himself, but I could gather that a very +lively altercation ensued, and it seemed to me as though she resolutely +refused to subject herself to any further ordeals of what academicians +call a "private view." No; she was ready for the ring and the sawdust, +and the drolleries of the men with chalk on their faces, but she would +not accept high life on any terms. By degrees, and by arguments of his +own ingenious devising, however, he did succeed, and at last she arose +with a bound, and cried out, "Eccomi!" + +"Remember," said I to Vaterchen, as we left the room, "I am doing +that which few would have the courage to dare. It will depend upon the +dignity of your conduct, the grace of your manners, the well-bred ease +of your address, to make me feel proud of my intrepidity, or, sad +and painful possibility, retire covered with ineffable shame and +discomfiture. Do you comprehend me?" + +"Perfectly," said he, standing erect, and giving even in his attitude a +sort of bail bond for future dignity. "Lead on!" + +This was more familiar than he had been yet; but I ascribed it to the +tension of nerves strung to a high purpose, and rendering him thus +inaccessible to other thoughts than of the enterprise before him. + +As I neared the door of Mrs. Keats's apartment, I hesitated as to how +I should enter. Ought I to precede my friends, and present them as they +followed? Or would it seem more easy and more assured if I were to give +my arm to Tintefleck, leaving Vaterchen to bring up the rear? After much +deliberation, this appeared to be the better course, seeming to take +for granted that, although some peculiarities of costume might ask +for explanation later on, I was about to present a very eligible and +charming addition to the company. + +I am scarcely able to say whether I was or was not reassured by the mode +in which she accepted the offer of my arm. At first, the proposition +appeared unintelligible, and she looked at me with one of those +wide-eyed stares, as though to say, "What new gymnastic is this? What +_tour de force_, of which I never heard before?" and then, with a sort +of jerk, she threw my arm up in the air and made a pirouette under it, +of some half-dozen whirls. + +Half reprovingly I shook my head, and offered her my hand. This she +understood at once. She recognized such a mode of approach as legitimate +and proper, and with an artistic shake of her drapery with the other +hand, and a confident smile, she signified she was ready to go "on." + +I was once on a time thrown over a horse's head into a slate quarry; a +very considerable drop it was, and nearly fatal. On another occasion I +was carried in a small boat over the fall of a salmon weir, and hurried +along in the flood for almost three hundred yards. Each of these was a +situation of excitement and peril, and with considerable confusion as +the consequence; and yet I could deliberately recount you every +passing phase of my terror, from my first fright down to my complete +unconsciousness, with such small traits as would guarantee truthfulness; +while, of the scene upon which I now adventured, I preserve nothing +beyond the vaguest and most unconnected memory. + +I remember my advance into the middle of the room. I have a recollection +of a large tea-urn, and beyond it a lady in a turban; another in long +ringlets there was. The urn made a noise like a small steamer, and there +was a confusion of voices--about what, I cannot tell--that increased the +uproar, and we were all standing up and all talking together; and there +was what seemed an angry discussion, and then the large turban and the +ringlets swept haughtily past me. The turban said, "This is too much, +sir!" and ringlets added, "Far too much, sir!" and as they reached the +door, there was Vaterchen on his head, with a branch of candles between +his feet to light them out, and Tintefleck, screaming with laughter, +threw herself into an arm-chair, and clapped a most riotous applause. + +I stood a moment almost transfixed, then dashed out of the room, hurried +upstairs to my chamber, bolted the door, drew a great clothes-press +against it for further security, and then threw myself upon my bed +in one of those paroxysms of mad confusion, in which a man cannot say +whether he is on the verge of inevitable ruin, or has just been rescued +from a dreadful fate. I would not, if even I could, recount all that +I suffered that night There was not a scene of open shame and disgrace +that I did not picture to myself as incurring. I was everywhere in the +stocks or the pillory. I wore a wooden placard on my breast, inscribed, +"Potts the Impostor." I was running at top speed before hooting and +yelling crowds. I was standing with a circle of protecting policemen +amidst a mob eager to tear me to pieces. I was sitting on a hard stool +while my hair was being cropped _à la_ Pentonville, and a gray suit lay +ready for me when it was done. But enough of such a dreary record. I +believe I cried myself to sleep at last, and so soundly, too, that it +was very late in the afternoon ere I awoke. It was the sight of the +barricade I had erected at my door gave me a clew to the past, and again +I buried my face in my hands, and wept bitterly. + + + + +CHAPTER XXVIII. RESULTS OF THE EXPERIMENT + +I could not hear the loud and repeated knockings which were made at my +door, as at first waiters, and then the landlord himself, endeavored +to gain admittance. At length a ladder was placed at the window, and a +courageous individual, duly armed, appeared at my casement and summoned +me to surrender. With what unspeakable relief did I learn that it was +not to apprehend or arrest me that all these measures were taken: they +were simply the promptings of a graceful benevolence; a sort of rumored +intimation having got about, that I had taken prussic acid, or was +being done to death by charcoal. Imagine a prisoner in a condemned cell +suddenly awakened, and hearing that the crowd around him consisted not +of the ordinary, the sheriff, Mr. Calcraft and Co., but a deputation of +respectable citizens come to offer the representation of their borough +or a piece of plate, and then you can have a mild conception of the +pleasant revulsion of my feelings. I thanked my public in a short +but appropriate address. I assured them, although there was a popular +prejudice about doing this sort of thing in November in England, that it +was deemed quite unreasonable at other times, and that really, in +these days of domestic arsenic and conjugal strychnine, nothing but +an unreasonable impatience would make a man self-destructive,--suicide +arguing that as a man was really so utterly valueless, it was worth +nobody's while to get rid of him. My explanation over, I ordered +breakfast. + +"Why not dinner?" said the waiter. "It is close on four o'clock." + +"No," said I; "the ladies will expect me at dinner." + +"The ladies are near Constance by this, or else the roads are worse than +we thought them." + +"Near Constance! Do you mean to say they have gone?" + +"Yes, sir, at daybreak; or, indeed, I might say before daybreak." + +"Gone! actually gone!" was all that I could utter. + +"They never went to bed last night, sir; the old lady was taken very +ill after tea, and all the house running here and there for doctors and +remedies, and the young lady, though she bore up so well, they tell me +she fainted when she was alone in her own room. In fact, it was a piece +of confusion and trouble until they started, and we may say, none of us +had a moment's peace till we saw them off." + +"And how came it that I was never called?" + +"I believe, sir, but I'm not sure, the landlord tried to awake you. At +all events, he has a note for you now, for I saw the old lady place it +in his hand." + +"Fetch it at once," said I; and when he left the room, I threw some +water over my face, and tried to rally all my faculties to meet the +occasion. + +When the waiter reappeared with the note, I bade him leave it on the +table; I could not venture to read it while he was in the room. At +length he went away, and I opened it. These were the contents:-- + +"Sir,--When a person of your rank abuses the privilege of his station, +it is supposed that he means to rebuke. Although innocent of any cause +for your displeasure, I have preferred to withdraw myself from your +notice than incur the chance of so severe a reprimand a second time. + +"I am, sir, with unfeigned sorrow and humility, your most devoted +follower and servant, + +"Martha Keats. + +"To the--de----" + +This was the whole of it; not a great deal as correspondence, but matter +enough for much thought and much misery. After a long and painful review +of my conduct, one startling fact stood prominently forward, which was, +that I had done something which, had it been the act of a royal prince, +would yet have been unpardonable, but which, if known to emanate from +one such as myself, would have been a downright outrage. + +I went into the whole case, as a man who detests figures might have gone +into a long and complicated account; and just as he would skip small +sums, and pay little heed to fractions, I aimed at arriving at some +grand solid balance for or against myself. + +I felt, that if asked to produce my books, they might run this wise: +Potts, on the credit side, a philanthropist, self-denying, generous, +and trustful; one eager to do good, thinking no evil of his neighbor, +hopeful of everybody, anxious to establish that brotherhood amongst men +which, however varied the station, could and ought to subsist, and which +needs but the connecting link of one sympathetic existence to establish. +On the other side, Potts, I grieve to say, appeared that which Ferdinand +Mendez Pinto was said to be. + +When I had rallied a bit from the stunning effect of this disagreeable +"total," I began to wish that I had somebody to argue the matter out +with me. The way I would put my case would be thus: "Has not--from +the time of Martius Curtius down to the late Mr. Sadlier, of banking +celebrity--the sacrifice of one man for the benefit of his fellows, been +recognized as the noblest exposition of heroism? Now, although it is +much to give up life for the advantage of others, it is far more to +surrender one's identity, to abandon that grand capital Ego! which gives +a man his self-esteem and suggests his self-preservation. And who, I +would ask, does this so thoroughly as the man who everlastingly palms +himself upon the world for that which he is not? According to the +greatest happiness principle, this man may be a real boon to humanity. +He feeds this one with hope, the other with flattery; he bestows courage +on the weak, confidence on the wavering. The rich man can give of his +abundance, but it is out of his very poverty this poor fellow has +to bestow all. Like the spider, he has to weave his web from his +own vitals, and like the same spider he may be swept away by some +pretentious affectation of propriety." + +While I thus argued, the waiter came in to serve dinner. It looked +all appetizing and nice; but I could not touch a morsel. I was sick at +heart; Kate Herbert's last look as she quitted the room was ever before +me. Those dark gray eyes--which you stupid folk will go on calling +blue--have a sort of reproachful power in them very remarkable. They +don't flash out in anger like black eyes, or sparkle in fierceness like +hazel; but they emit a sort of steady, fixed, concentrated light, that +seems to imply that they have looked thoroughly into you, and come back +very sad and very sorry for the inquiry. I thought of the happy days I +had passed beside her; I recalled her low and gentle voice, her sweet +half-sad smile, and her playful laugh, and I said, "Have I lost all +these forever, and how? What stupid folly possessed me last evening? +How could I have been so idiotic as not to see that I was committing the +rankest of all enormities? How should I, in my insignificance, dare to +assail the barriers and defences which civilization has established, +and guards amongst its best prerogatives? Was this old buffoon, was this +piece of tawdry fringe and spangles, a fitting company for that fair and +gentle girl? How artistically false, too, was the position I had taken! +Interweaving into my ideal life these coarse realities, was the same +sort of outrage as shocks one in some of the Venetian churches, where +a lovely Madonna, the work of a great hand, may be seen bedizened +and disfigured with precious stones over her drapery. In this was I +violating the whole poetry of my existence. These figures were as +much out of keeping as would be a couple of Ostade's Boors in a grand +Scripture piece by Domenichino. + +"And yet, Potts," thought I, "they were _really_ living creatures. They +had hearts for Joy and sorrow and hope, and the rest of it. They +were pilgrims travelling the selfsame road as you were. They were not +illusions, but flesh and blood folk, that would shiver when cold, and +die of hunger if starved. Were they not, then, as such, of more account +than all your mere imaginings? Would not the least of their daily +miseries outweigh a whole bushel of fancied sorrow? And is it not a poor +selfishness on your part, when you deem some airy conception of your +brain of more account than that poor old man and that dark-eyed girl? +Last of all, are they hot, in all their ragged finery, more 'really true +men' than you yourself, Potts, living in a maze of delusions? They only +act when the sawdust is raked and the lamps are lighted; but you are _en +scène_ from dawn to dark, and only lay down one motley to don another. +Is not this wretched? Is it not ignoble? In all these changes of +character, how much of the real man will be left behind? Will there be +one morsel of honest flesh, when all the lacquer of paint is washed off? +And was it--oh, was it for this you first adventured out on the wide +ocean of life?" + +I passed the evening and a great part of the night in such +self-accusings, and then I addressed myself to action. I bethought me of +my future, and with whom and where and how it might be passed. The bag +of money intrusted to me by the Minister to pay the charges of the road +was banging where I had placed it,--on the curtain-holder. I opened it, +and found a hundred and forty gold Napoleons, and some ten or twelve +pounds in silver. I next set to count over my own especial hoard; it was +a fraction under a thousand francs! Forty pounds was truly a very small +sum wherewith to confront a world to which I brought not any art, or +trade, or means of livelihood; I say forty, because I had not the shadow +of a pretext for touching the other sum, and I resolved at once to +transmit it to the owner. Now, what could be done with so humble a +capital? I had heard of a great general who once pawned a valuable +sword--a sword of honor it was--wherewith to buy a horse, and, so +mounted, he went forth over the Alps, and conquered a kingdom. The story +had no moral for me, for somehow I did not feel as though I were the +stuff that conquers kingdoms, and yet there must surely be a vast +number of men in life with about the same sort of faculties, merits, and +demerits as I have. There must be a numerous Potts family in every land, +well-meaning, right-intentioned, worthless creatures, who, out of a +supposed willingness to do anything, always end in doing nothing. Such +people, it must be inferred, live upon what are called their wits, or, +in other words, trade upon the daily accidents of life, and the use to +which they can turn the traits of those they meet with. + +I was resolved not to descend to this; no, I bad deter-. mined to say +adieu to all masquerading, and be simply Potts, the druggist's son, one +who had once dreamed of great ambitions, but had taken the wrong road +to them. I would from this hour be an honest, truth-speaking, +simple-hearted creature. What the world might henceforth accord me of +its sympathy should be tendered on honest grounds; nay, more, in +the spirit of those devotees who inspire themselves with piety by +privations, I resolved on a course of self-mortification, I would +not rest till I had made my former self expiate all the vainglorious +wantonness of the past, and * pay in severe penance for every +transgression I had committed. I began boldly with my reformation. I sat +down and wrote thus:-- + +To Mr. Dycer, Stephen's-Green, Dublin. + +"The gentleman who took away a dun pony from your livery stables in the +month of May last, and who, from certain circumstances, has not been +able to restore the animal, sends herewith twenty pounds as his probable +value. If Mr. D. conscientiously considers the sum insufficient, the +sender will at some future time, he hopes, make good the difference." + +Doubtless my esteemed reader will say at this place, "The fellow could +n't do less; he need not vaunt himself on a commonplace act of honesty, +which, after all, might have been suggested by certain fears of +future consequences. His indiscretion amounted to horse-stealing, and +horsestealing is a felony." + +All true, every word of it, most upright of Judges: I was simply doing +what I ought, or rather what I ought long since to have done. But now, +let me ask, is this, after all, the invariable course in life, and is +there no merit in doing what one ought when every temptation points to +the other direction? and lastly, is it nothing to do what a man ought, +when the doing costs exactly the half of all he has in the world? + +Now, if I were, instead of being Potts, a certain great writer that we +all know and delight in, I would improve the occasion here by asking my +reader does he always himself do the right thing? I would say to him, +perhaps with all haste to anticipate his answer, "Of course you do. You +never pinch your children, or kick your wife out of bed; you are a model +father and a churchwarden; but I am only a poor apothecary's son brought +up in precepts of thrift and the Dublin Pharmacopoeia;" and I own to +you, when I placed the half of my twenty-pound crisp clean bank note +inside of that letter, I felt I was figuratively cutting myself in two. +But I did it "like a man," if that be a proper phrase for an act which +I thought godlike. And oh, take my word for it, when a sacrifice has +n't cost you a coach-load of regrets and a shopful of hesitations about +making it, it is of little worth. There's a wide difference between the +gift of a sheep from an Australian farmer, or the present of a child's +pet lamb, even though the sheep be twice the size of the lamb. + +I gave myself no small praise for what I had done, much figurative +patting on the back, and a vast deal of that very ambiguous consolation +which beggars in Catholic countries bestow in change for alms, by +assurance that it will be remembered to you in purgatory. + +"Well," thought I, "the occasion is n't very far off, for my purgatory +begins to-morrow." + + + + +CHAPTER XXIX. ON FOOT AND IN LOW COMPANY + +I was in a tourist locality, and easily provided myself with a light +equipment for the road, resolved at once to take the footpath in life +and "seek my fortune." I use these words simply as the expression of the +utter uncertainty which prevailed as to whither I should go, and what do +when I got there. + +If there be few more joyous things in life than to start off on foot +with three or four choice companions, to ramble through some fine +country rich in scenery, varied in character and interesting in story, +there are few more lonely sensations than to set out by oneself, not +very decided what way to take, and with very little money to take it. + +One of the most grievous features of small means is, certainly, the +almost exclusive occupation it gives the mind as to every, even the most +trivial, incident that involves cost. Instead of dining on fish and fowl +and fruit, you feel eating so many groschen and kreutzers. You are not +drinking wine, your beverage is a solution of copper batzen in vinegar!' +When you poke the fire, every spark that flies up the chimney' is a +baiocco! You come at last to suspect that the sun won't warm you for +nothing, and that the very breeze that cooled your brow is only waiting +round the corner to ask "for something for himself." + +When the rich man lives sparingly, the conscious power of the wealth he +might employ if he pleased, sustains him. The poor fellow has no such +consolation to fall back on; the closer his coat is examined, the more +threadbare will it appear. If it were simply that he dressed humbly +and fared coarsely, it might be borne well, but it is the hourly +depreciation that poverty is exposed to, makes its true grievance. "An +ill-looking"--this means, generally, ill-dressed--"an ill-looking fellow +had been seen about the premises at night-fall," says the police report +"A very suspicious character had asked for a bed; his wardrobe was in +a 'spotted handkerchief.' The waiter remembers that a fellow, much +travel-stained and weary, stopped at the door that evening and asked if +there was any cheap house of entertainment in the village." Heaven help +the poor wayfarer if any one has been robbed, any house broken into, +any rick set fire to, while he passed through that locality. There is +no need of a crowd of witnesses to convict him, since every bend in his +hat, every tear in his coat, and every rent in his shoes are evidence +against him. + +If I thought over these things in sorrow and humiliation, it was in a +very proud spirit that I called to mind how, on that same morning, I +deposited the bag with all the money in Messrs. Haber's bank, saw the +contents duly counted over, replaced and sealed up, and then addressed +to Her Majesty's Minister at Kalbbratonstadt, taking a receipt for the +same. "This was only just common honesty," says the reader. Oh, if there +is an absurd collocation of words, it is that! Common honesty! why, +there is nothing in this world so perfectly, so totally uncommon! Never, +I beseech you, undervalue the waiter who restores the ring you dropped +in the coffee-room; nor hold him cheaply who gives back the umbrella +you left in the cab. These seem such easy things to do, but they are +not easy. Men are more or less Cornish wreckers in life, and very apt to +regard the lost article as treasure-trove. I have said all this to you, +amiable reader, that you may know what it cost me, on that same morning, +not to be a rogue, and not to enrich myself with the goods of another. + +I underwent a very long and searching self-examination to ascertain +why it was I had not appropriated that bag,--an offence which, legally +speaking, would only amount to a breach of trust. I said, "Is it that +you had no need of the money, Potts? Did you feel that your own means +were ample enough? Was it that your philosophy had made you regard gold +as mere dross, and then think that the load was a burden? Or, taking +higher ground, had you recalled the first teachings of your venerable +parent, that good man and careful apothecary, who had given you your +first perceptions of right and wrong?" I fear that I was obliged to say +No, in turn, to each of these queries. I would have been very glad to be +right, proud to have been a philosopher, overjoyed to feel myself swayed +by moral motives, but I could not palm the imposition on my conscience, +and had honestly to own that the real reason of my conduct was--I was in +love! There was the whole of it! + +There was an old sultan once so impressed with an ill notion of the sex, +that whenever a tale of misfortune or disgrace reached him, his +only inquiry as to the source of the evil was, Who was she? Now, my +experiences of life have travelled in another direction, and whenever I +read of some noble piece of heroism or some daring act of self-devotion, +I don't ask whether he got the Bath or the Victoria Cross, if he were +made a governor here or a vice-governor there, but who was She that +prompted this glorious deed? I 'd like to know all about _her_: the +color of her eyes, her hair; was she slender or plump; was she fiery +or gentle; was it an old attachment or an acute attack coming after a +paroxysm at first sight? + +If I were the great chief of some great public department where all my +subordinates were obliged to give heavy security for their honesty, I +would neither ask for bail bonds or sureties, but I'd say, "Have you got +a wife, or a sweetheart? Either will do. Let me look at her. If she be +worthy an honest man's love, I am satisfied; mount your high stool and +write away." + +Oh, how I longed to stand aright in that dear girl's eyes, that she +should see me worthy of her! Had she yielded to all my wayward notions +and rambling opinions, giving way either in careless indolence or out of +inability to dispute them, she had never made the deep impression on +my heart. It was because she had bravely asserted her own independence, +never conceding where unconvinced, never yielding where unvanquished, +that I loved her. What a stupid revery was that of mine when I fancied +her one of those strong-minded, determined women,--a thickly shod, +umbrella-carrying female, who can travel alone and pass her trunk +through a custom-house. No, she was delicate, timid, and gentle; there +was no over-confidence in her, nor the slightest pretension. Rule me? +Not a bit of it. Guide, direct, support, confirm, sustain me; elevate +my sentiments, cheer me on my road in life, making all evil odious in my +eyes, and the good to seem better! + +I verily believe, with such a woman, an humble condition m life offers +more chances of happiness than a state of wealth and splendor. If +the best prizes of life are to be picked up around a man's fireside, +moderate means, conducing as they do to a home life, would point more +certainly to these than all the splendor of grand receptions. If I +were, say, a village doctor, a schoolmaster; if I were able to eke +out subsistence in some occupation, whose pursuit might place me +sufficiently favorably in her eyes. I don't like grocery, for instance, +or even "dry goods," but something--it's no fault of mine if the English +language be cramped and limited, and that I must employ the odious word +"genteel," but it conveys, in a fashion, all that I aim at. + +I began to think how this was to be done. I might return to my own +country, go back to Dublin, and become Potts and Son,--at least son! A +very horrid thought and very hard to adopt. + +I might take a German degree in physic, and become an English doctor, +say at Baden, Ems, Geneva, or some other resort of my countrymen on the +Continent. I might give lectures, I scarcely well knew on what, +still less to whom; or I could start as Professor Potts, and instruct +foreigners in Shakspeare. There were at least "three courses" open to +me; and to consider them the better, I filled my pipe, and strolled off +the high-road into a shady copse of fine beech-trees, at the foot of one +of which, and close to a clear little rivulet, I threw myself at full +length, and thus, like Tityrus, enjoyed the leafy shade, making my +meerschaum do duty for the shepherd's reed. + +I had not been long thus, when I heard the footsteps of some persons on +the road, and shortly after, the sound discontinuing, I judged that +they must have crossed into the sward beneath the wood. As I listened I +detected voices, and the next moment two figures emerged from the cover +and stood before me: they were Vaterchen and Tintefleck. + +"Sit down," said I, pointing to each in turn to take a place at either +side of me. They had, it is true, been the cause of the great calamity +of my life, but in no sense was the fault theirs, and I wished to show +that I was generous and open-minded. Vaterchen acceded to my repeated +invitation with a courteous humility, and seated himself at a little +distance off; but Tintefleck threw herself on the grass, and with such a +careless _abandon_ that her hair escaped from the net that held it, and +fell in great wavy masses across my feet. + +"Ay," thought I, as I looked at the graceful outlines of her finely +shaped figure, "here is the Amaryllis come to complete the tableau; only +I would wish fewer spangles, and a little more simplicity." + +I saw that it was necessary to reassure Vaterchen as to my perfect +sanity by some explanation as to my strange mode of travelling, and told +him briefly, "that it was a caprice common enough with my countrymen to +assume the knapsack, and take the road on foot; that we fancied in +this wise we obtained a nearer view of life, and at least gained +companionship with many from whom the accident of station might exclude +us." I said this with an artful delicacy, meant to imply that I was +pointing at a very great and valuable privilege of pedestrianism. + +He smiled with a sad, a very sad expression on his features, "But +in what wise, highly honored sir?"--he addressed me always as Hoch +Geehrter Herr,--"could you promise to yourself advantage from such +associations as these? I cannot believe you would condescend to know +us simply to carry away in memory the little traits that must needs +distinguish such lives as ours. I would not insult my respect for you by +supposing that you come amongst us to note the absurd contrast between +our real wretchedness and our mock gayety; and yet what else is there to +gain? What can the poor mountebank teach you beyond this?" + +"Much," said I, with fervor, as I grasped his hand, and shook it +heartily; "much, if you only gave me this one lesson that I now listen +to, and I learn that a man's heart can beat as truthfully under motley +as under the embroidered coat of a minister. The man who speaks as you +do, can teach me much." + +He gave a short but heavy sigh, and turned away his head. He arose +after a few minutes, and, going gently across the grass, spread his +handkerchief over the head and face of the girl, who had at once fallen +into a deep sleep. + +"Poor thing," muttered he, "it is well she _can_ sleep! She has eaten +nothing to-day!" + +"But, surely," said I, "there is some village, or some wayside inn near +this--" + +"Yes, there is the 'Eckstein,' a little public about two miles further; +but we did n't care to reach it before nightfall. It is so painful +to pass many hours in a place and never call for anything; one is +ill-looked on, and uncomfortable from it; and as we have only what would +pay for our supper and lodging, we thought we 'd wear away the noon in +the forest here, and arrive at the inn by close of day." + +"Let me be your travelling-companion for to-day," said I, "and let us +push forward and have our dinner together. Tes, yes, there is far less +of condescension in the offer than you suspect. I am neither great nor +milor, I am one of a class like your own, Vaterchen, and what I do for +you today some one else will as probably do for me to-morrow." + +Say what I could, the old man would persist in believing that this was +only another of those eccentricities for which Englishmen are famed; +and though, with the tact of a native good breeding, he showed no +persistence in opposition, I saw plainly enough that he was unconvinced +by all my arguments. + +While the girl slept, I asked him how he chanced upon the choice of +his present mode of life, since there were many things in his tone and +manner that struck me as strangely unlike what I should have ascribed to +his order. + +"It is a very short story," said he; "five minutes will tell it, +otherwise I might scruple to impose on your patience. It was thus I +became what you see me." + +Short as the narrative was, I must keep it for another page. + + + + +CHAPTER XXX. VATERCHEN'S NARRATIVE. + +I give the old man's story, as nearly as I can, the way he told it + +"There is a little village on the Lago di Guarda, called Caprini. My +family had lived there for some generations. We had a little wine-shop, +and though not a very pretentious one, it was the best in the place, and +much frequented by the inhabitants. My father was in considerable repute +while he lived; he was twice named Syndic of Caprini, and I myself once +held that dignity. You may not know, perhaps, that the office is +one filled at the choice of the townsfolk, and not nominated by the +Government. Still the crown has its influence in the selection, and +likes well to see one of its own partisans in power, and, when a popular +candidate does succeed against their will, the Government officials +take good care to make his berth as uncomfortable as they can. These +are small questions of politics to ask you to follow, but they were our +great ones; and we were as ardent and excited and eager about the choice +of our little local Governor as though he wielded real power in a great +state. + +"When I obtained the syndicate, my great ambition was to tread in the +footsteps of my father, old Gustave Gamerra, who had left behind him a +great name as the assertor of popular rights, and who had never bated +the very least privilege that pertained to his native village. I did my +best--not very discreetly, perhaps--for my own sake, but I held my head +high against all imperial and royal officials, and I taught them to +feel that there was at least one popular institution in the land that +no exercise of tyranny could assail. I was over-zealous about all our +rights. I raked up out of old archives traces of privileges that we once +possessed and had never formally surrendered; I discovered concessions +that had been made to as of which we had never reaped the profit; and I +was, so to say, ever at war with the authorities, who were frank enough +to say that when my two years of office expired they meant to give me +some wholesome lessons about obedience. + +"They were as good as their word. I had no sooner descended to a private +station than I was made to feel all the severities of their displeasure. +They took away my license to sell salt and tobacco, and thereby fully +one half of my little income; they tried to withdraw my privilege to +sell wine, but this came from the municipality, and they could not touch +it. Upon information that they had suborned, they twice visited my house +to search for seditious papers, and, finally, they made me such a mark +of their enmity that the timid of the townsfolk were afraid to be seen +with me, and gradually dropped my acquaintance. This preyed upon me most +of all. I was all my life of a social habit; I delighted to gather my +friends around me, or to go and visit them, and to find myself, as I was +growing old, growing friendless too, was a great blow. + +"I was a widower, and had none but an only daughter." + +When he had reached thus far, his voice failed him, and, after an effort +or two, he could not continue, and turned away his head and buried it in +his hands. Full ten minutes elapsed before he resumed, which he did +with a hard, firm tone, as though resolved not to be conquered by his +emotion. + +"The cholera was dreadfully severe all through the Italian Tyrol; it +swept from Venice to Milan, and never missed even the mountain villages, +far away up the Alps. In our little hamlet we lost one hundred and +eighteen souls, and my Gretchen was one of them. + +"We had all grown to be very hard-hearted to each other; misfortune was +at each man's door, and he had no heart to spare for a neighbor's +grief; and yet such was the sorrow for her, that they came, in all this +suffering and desolation, to try and comfort and keep me up, and though +it was a time when all such cares were forgotten, the young people went +and laid fresh flowers over her grave every morning. Well, that was +very kind of them, and made me weep heartily; and, in weeping, my heart +softened, and I got to feel that God knew what was best for all of us, +and that, may-bap, he had taken her away to spare her greater sorrow +hereafter, and left me to learn that I should pray to go to her. She +had only been in the earth eight days, and I was sitting alone in my +solitary house, for I could not bear to open the shop, and began to +think that I *d never have the courage to do so again, but would go away +and try some other place and some other means of livelihood,--it was +while thinking thus, a sharp, loud knock came to the door, and I arose +rather angrily, to answer it. + +"It was a sergeant of an infantry regiment, whose detachment was on +march for Peschiera; there were troubles down there, and the Government +had to send off three regiments in all haste from Vienna to suppress +them. The sergeant was a Bohemian, and his regiment the Kinsky. He was +a rough, coarse fellow, very full of his authority, despising all +villagers, and holding Italians in especial contempt. He came to order +me to prepare rations and room for six soldiers, who were to arrive that +evening. I answered, boldly, that I would not I had served the office of +syndic in the town, and was thus forever exempt from the 'billet,' and I +led him into my little sitting-room, and showed him my 'brevet,' +framed and glazed, over the chimney. He laughed heartily at my little +remonstrance, coolly turned the 'brevet' with its face to the wall, and +said,-- + +"'If you don't want twelve of us instead of six, you 'll keep your +tongue quiet, and give us a stoup of your best wine.' + +"I did not wait to answer him, but seized my hat and hurried away to the +Platz Commandant. He was an old enemy of mine, but I could not help it; +his was the only authority I could appeal to, and he was bound to do me +justice. When I reached the bureau, it was so crowded with soldiers and +townsfolk, some seeking for billets, some insisting on their claim to be +free, that I could not get past the door, and, after an hour's +waiting, I was fain to give up the attempt, and turned back home again, +determined to make my statement in writing, which, after all, might have +been the most fitting. + +"I found my doors wide open when I got there, and my shop crowded +with soldiers, who, either seated on the counter or squatting on their +knapsacks, had helped themselves freely to my wine, even to raising the +top of an old cask, and drinking it in large cups from the barrel, which +they handed liberally to their comrades as they passed. + +"My heart was too full to care much for the loss, though the insult +pressed me sorely, and, pushing my way through, I gained the inner room +to find it crowded like the shop. All was in disorder and confusion. +The old musket my father had carried for many a year, and which had hung +over the chimney as an heirloom, lay smashed in fragments on the floor; +some wanton fellow had run his bayonet through my 'brevet' as syndic, +and hung it up in derision as a banner; and one--he was a corporal--had +taken down the wreath of white roses that lay on Gretchen's coffin till +it was laid in the earth, and placed it on his head. When I «aw this, +my senses left me; I gave a wild shriek, and dashed both my hands in his +face. I tried to strangle him; I would have torn him with my teeth had +they not dragged me off and dashed me on the ground, where they trampled +on me, and beat me, and then carried me away to prison. + +"I was four days in prison before I was brought up to be examined. I did +not know whether it had been four or forty, for my senses had left +me and I was mad; perhaps it was the cold dark cell and the silence +restored me, but I came out calm and collected. I remembered everything +to the smallest incident. + +"The soldiers were heard first; they agreed in everything, and their +story had all the air of truth about it They owned they had taken my +wine, but said that the regiment was ready and willing to pay for it so +soon as I came back, and that all the rest they had done were only the +usual follies of troops on a march. I began by claiming my exemption as +a syndic, but was stopped at once by being told that my claim had +never been submitted to the authorities, and that in my outrage on +the imperial force I had forfeited all consideration on that score. My +offence was easily proven. I did not deny it, and I was lectured for +nigh an hour on the enormity of my crime, and then sentenced to pay +a fine of a thousand zwanzigers to the Emperor, and to receive +four-and-twenty blows with the stick. 'It should have been +eight-and-forty but for my age,' he said. + +"On the same stool where I sat to hear my sentence was a circus man, +waiting the Platz Commandant's leave to give some representation in the +village. I knew him from his dress, but had never spoken to him nor he +to me; just, however, as the Commandant had delivered the words of my +condemnation, he turned to look at me,--mayhap to see how I bore up +under my misfortune. I saw his glance, and I did my best to sustain it. +I wanted to bear myself manfully throughout, and not to let any one know +my heart was broken, which I felt it was. The struggle was, perhaps, +more than I was able for, and, while the tears gushed out and ran down +my cheeks, I buret out laughing, and laughed away fit after fit, making +the most terrible faces all the while; so outrageously droll were my +convulsions, that every one around laughed too, and there was the whole +court screaming madly with the same impulse, and unable to control it. + +"'Take the fool away!' cried the Commandant, at last, 'and bring him to +reason with a hazel rod.' And they carried me off, and I was flogged. + +"It was about a week after I was down near Commachio. I don't know how +I got there, but I was in rags, and had no money, and the circus people +came past and saw me. 'There's the old fellow that nearly killed us with +his droll face,' said the chief. 'I 'll give you two zwanzigers a day, +my man, if you 'll only give us a few grins like that every evening. Is +it a bargain?' + +"I laughed. I could not keep now from laughing at everything, and the +bargain was made, and I was a clown from that hour. They taught me a +few easy tricks to help me in my trade, but it is my face that they care +for,--none can see it unmoved." + +He turned on me as he spoke with a fearful contortion of countenance, +but, moved by his story, and full only of what I had been listening to, +I turned away and shed tears. + +"Yes," said he, meditatively, "many a happy heart is kindled at the fire +that is consuming another. As for myself, both joy and sorrow are dead +within me. I am without hope, and, stranger still, without fear." + +"But you are not without benevolence," said I, as I looked towards the +sleeping girl. + +"She was so like Gretchen," said he; and he bent down his head and +sobbed bitterly. + +I would have asked him some questions about her if I dared, but I felt +so rebuked by the sorrow of the old man, that my curiosity seemed almost +unfeeling. + +"She came amongst us a mere child," said he, "and speedily attached +herself to me. I contrived to learn enough v of her dialect to +understand and talk to her, and at last she began to regard me as a +father, and even called me such. It was a long time before I could bear +this. Every time I heard the word my grief would burst out afresh; but +what won't time do? I have come to like it now." + +"And is she good and gentle and affectionate?" asked I. + +"She is far too good and true-hearted to be in such company as ours. +Would that some rich person,--it should be a lady,--kind and gentle and +compassionate, could see her and take her away from such associates, and +this life of shame, ere it be too late! If I have a sorrow left me now, +it is for her." + +I was silent; for though the wish only seemed fair and natural enough +on his part, I could not help thinking how improbable such an incident +would prove. + +"She would repay it all," said he. "If ever there was a nature rich in +great gifts, it is hers. She can learn whatever she will, and for a +word of kindness she would hold her hand in the fire for you. Hush!" +whispered he, "she is stirring. What is it, darling?" said he, creeping +close to her, as she lay, throwing her arms wildly open, but not +removing the handkerchief from her face. + +She muttered something hurriedly, and then burst into a laugh so joyous +and so catching, it was impossible to refrain from joining in it. + +She threw back the kerchief at once and started to her knees, gazing +steadfastly, almost sternly, at me. I saw that the old man comprehended +the inquiry of her glance, and as quickly whispered a few words in her +ear. She listened till he had done, and then, springing towards me, she +caught my hand and kissed it. + +I suspect he must have rebuked the ardor of her movement, for she hung +her head despondingly, and turned away from us both. + +"Now for the road once more," said Vaterchen, "for if we stay much +longer here, we shall have the forest flies, which are always worse +towards evening." + +It was not without great difficulty I could prevent his carrying my +knapsack for me, and even the girl herself would gladly have borne some +of my load. At last, however, we set forth, Tintefleck lightening the +way with a merry can-zonette that had the time of a quickstep. + + + + +CHAPTER XXXI. A GENIUS FOR CARICATURE + +What a pleasant little dinner we had that day! It was laid out in a +little summer-house of the inn-garden. All overgrown with a fine old +fig-tree, through whose leaves the summer wind played deliciously, +while a tiny rivulet rippled close by, and served to cool our +"Achten-thaler,"--an amount of luxury that made Tintefleck quite wild +with laughter. + +"Is it cold enough?" she asked archly, in her peasant dialect, each time +the old man laid down his glass. + +As I came gradually to pick up the occasional meaning of her words,--a +process which her expressive pantomime greatly aided,--I was struck by +the marvellous acuteness of a mind so totally without culture, and I +could not help asking Vaterchen why he had never attempted to instruct +her. + +"What can I do?" said he, despondently; "there are no books in the only +language she knows, and the only language she will condescend to +speak. She can understand Italian, and I have read stories for her, +and sonnets, too, out of Leopardi; but though she will listen in all +eagerness till they are finished, no sooner over than she breaks out +into some wild Calabrian song, and asks me is it not worth all the fine +things I have been giving her, thrice told." + +"Could you not teach her to write?" + +"I tried that. I bought a slate, and I made a bargain with her that she +should have a scarlet knot for her hair when she could ask me for it in +written words. Well, all seemed to go on prosperously for a time; we +had got through half the alphabet very successfully, till we came to the +letter H. This made her laugh immediately, it was so like a scaffold we +had in the circus for certain exercises; and no sooner had I marked down +the letter, than she snatched the pencil from me, and drew the figure +of a man on each bar of the letter. From that hour forth, as though +her wayward humor had been only imprisoned, she burst forth into every +imaginable absurdity at our lessons. Every ridiculous event of our daily +life she drew, and with a rapidity almost incredible. I was not very +apt, as you may imagine, in acquiring the few accomplishments they +thought to give me, and she caricatured me under all my difficulties." + +"_Si, si,_" broke she in at this; for, with a wonderful acuteness, +she could trace something of a speaker's meaning where every word was +unknown to her. As she spoke, she arose, and fled down the garden at top +speed. + +"Why has she gone? Is she displeased at your telling me all these things +about her?" asked I. + +"Scarcely that; she loves to be noticed. Nothing really seems to pain +her so much as when she is passed over unremarked. When such an event +would occur in the circus, I have seen her sob through her sleep all the +night after. I half suspect now she is piqued at the little notice you +have bestowed upon her. All the better if it be so." + +"But here she comes again." + +With the same speed she now came back to us, holding her slate over her +head, and showing that she rightly interpreted what the old man had said +of her. + +"Now for my turn!" said Vaterchen, with a smile. "She is never weary of +drawing me in every absurd and impossible posture." + +"What is it to be, Tintefleck?" asked he. "How am I to figure this +time?" + +She shook her head without replying, and, making a sign that she was +not to be questioned or interrupted, she nestled down at the foot of the +fig-tree, and began to draw. + +The old man now drew near me, and proceeded to give me further details +of her strange temper and ways. I could mark that throughout all he +said a tone of intense anxiety and care prevailed, and that he felt her +disposition was exactly that which exposed her to the greatest perils +for her future. There was a young artist who used to follow her through +all the South Tyrol, affecting to be madly in love with her, but of +whose sincerity and honor Vaterchen professed to have great misgivings. +He gave her lessons in drawing, and, what was less to be liked, he made +several studies of herself. "The artless way," said the old man, "she +would come and repeat to me all his raptures about her, was at first a +sort of comfort to me. I felt reassured by her confidence, and also by +the little impression his praises seemed to make, but I saw later +on that I was mistaken. She grew each day more covetous of these +flatteries, and it was no longer laughingly, but in earnest seriousness, +she would tell me that the 'Fornarina' in some gallery had not such eyes +as hers, and that some great statue that all the world admired was far +inferior to her in shape. If I had dared to rebuke her vanity, or to +ridicule her pretensions, all my influence would have been gone forever. +She would have left us, gone who knows whither, and been lost, so that +I had nothing for it but to seem to credit all she said and yet hold the +matter lightly, and I said beauty had no value except when associated +with rank and station. If queens and princesses be handsome, they are +more fitted to adorn this high estate, but for humble folk it is as +great a mockery as these tinsel gems we wear in the circus. + +"'Max says not,' said she to me one evening, after one of my usual +lectures. 'Max says, there are queens would give their coronets to have +my hair; ay, or even one of the dimples in my cheek.' + +"'Max is a villain,' said I, before I could control my words. + +"'Max is a _vero signor!_' said she, haughtily, 'and not like one of +us; and more, too, I 'll go and tell him what you have called him.' She +bounded away from me at this, and I saw her no more till nightfall. + +"'What has happened to you, poor child!' said I, as I saw her lying on +the floor of her room, her forehead bleeding, and her dress all draggled +and torn. She would not speak to me for a long while, but by much +entreating and caressing I won upon her to tell me what had befallen +her. She had gone to the top of the 'Glucksburg,' and thrown herself +down. It was a fearful height, and only was she saved by being caught +by the brambles and tangled foliage of the cliff; and all this for +'one harsh word of mine,' she said. But I knew better; the struggle was +deeper in her heart than she was aware of, and Max had gone suddenly +away, and we saw no more of him." + +"Did she grieve after him?" + +"I scarcely can say she did. She fretted, but I think it was for her own +loneliness, and the want of that daily flattery she had grown so fond +of. She became overbearing, and even insolent, too, with all her equals, +and though for many a day she had been the spoiled child of the troop, +many began to weary of her waywardness. I don't know how all this +might have turned out, when, just as suddenly, she changed and became +everything that she used to be." + +When the old man had got thus far, the girl arose, and without saying a +word, laid the slate before us. Vaterchen, not very quick-sighted, could +not at once understand the picture, but I caught it at once, and laughed +immoderately. She had taken the scene where I had presented Vaterchen +and herself to the ladies at the tea-table, and with an intense humor, +sketched all the varying emotions of the incident.' The offended dignity +of the old lady, the surprise and mortification of Miss Herbert, and my +own unconscious pretension as I pointed to the "friends" who accompanied +me, were drawn with the spirit of high caricature. Nor did she spare +Vaterchen or herself; they were drawn, perhaps, with a more exaggerated +satire than all the rest. + +The old man no sooner comprehended the subject than he drew his hand +across it, and turned to her with words of anger and reproach. I meant, +of course, to interfere in her behalf, but it was needless; she fled, +laughing, into the garden, and before many minutes were over, we heard +her merry voice, with the tinkle of a guitar to assist it. + +"There it is," said Vaterchen, moodily. "What are you to do with a +temperament like that?" + +That was a question I was in no wise prepared to answer. Tintefleck's +temperament seemed to be the very converse of my own. I was over eager +to plan out everything in life; _she_ appeared to be just as impulsively +bent on risking all. + +_My_ head was always calculating eventualities; _hers_, it struck me, +never worried itself about difficulties till in the midst of them. Now, +Jean Paul tells us that when a man detects any exaggerated bias in his +character, instead of endeavoring, by daily watching, to correct it, +he will be far more successful if he ally himself with some one of a +diametrically opposite humor. If he be rash, for instance, let him +seek companionship with the sluggish. If his tendency bear to +over-imagination, let him frequent the society of realists. Why, +therefore, should not I and Tintefleck be mutually beneficial? Take the +two different kinds of wood in a bow: one will supply resistance, the +other flexibility. It was a pleasant notion, and I resolved to test it. + +"Vaterchen," said I, "call me to-morrow, when you get ready for the +road. I will keep you company as far as Constance." + +"Ah, sir," said he, with a sigh, "you will be well weary of us before +half the journey is over; but you shall be obeyed." + + + + +CHAPTER XXXII. I RELIEVE MYSELF OF MY PURSE + +Next morning, just as day was breaking, we set out on foot on our road +to Constance. There was a pinkish-gray streak of light on the horizon, +sure sign of a fine day, and the bright stars twinkled still in the +clear half-sombre sky, and all was calm and noiseless,--nothing to be +heard but the tramp of our own feet on the hard causeway. + +With the cowardly caution of one who feels the water with his +foot before he springs in to swim, I was glad that I made my first +experiences of companionship with these humble friends while it was yet +dark and none could see us. The old leaven of snobbery was unsubdued +in my heart, and, as I turned to look at poor Vaterchen and then at the +tinsel finery of Catinka, I bethought me of the little consideration the +world extends to such as these and their belongings. "Vagabonds +all!" would say some rich banker, as he rolled by in his massive +travelling-carriage, creaking with imperials and jingling with bells. +"Vagabonds all!" would mutter the Jew pedler, as he looked down from the +_banquette_ of the diligence. How slight is the sympathy of the realist +for the poor creature whose life-labor is to please! How prone to regard +him as useless, or, even worse, forgetting the while how a wiser than +he has made many things in this beautiful world of ours that they should +merely minister to enjoyment, gladden the eye and ear, and make our +pilgrimage less weary! Where would be the crimson jay, where the scarlet +bustard, where the gorgeous peacock with the nosegay on his tail, where +the rose and the honeysuckle and the purple foxglove mingling with the +wild thorn in our hedgerows, if the universe were of _their_ creation, +and this great globe but one big workshop? You never insist that the +daisy and the daffodil should be pot-herbs; and why are there not to +be wild flowers in humanity as well as in the fields? Is it not a great +pride to you who live under a bell-glass, nurtured and cared for, and +with your name attached to a cleft-stick at your side,--is it not a +great pride to know that you are not like one of us poor dog-roses? Be +satisfied, then, with that glory; we only ask to live! Shame on me for +that "only"! As if there could be anything more delightful than life. +Life, with all its capacities for love and friendship and heroism and +self-devotion, for generous actions and noble aspirations! Life to feel +life, to know that we are in a sphere specially constructed for the +exercise of our senses and the play of our faculties, free to choose +the road we would take, and with a glorious reward if our choice be the +right one! + +"'Vagabonds!' Yes," thought I, "there was once on a time such a +vagabond, and he strolled along from village to village, making of his +flute a livelihood,--a poor performer, too, he tells us he was, but he +could touch the hearts of these simple villagers with his tones as +he could move the hearts of thousands more learned than they with his +marvellous pathos; and this vagabond was called Oliver Goldsmith." I +have no words to say the ecstasy this thought gave me. Many a proud +traveller doubtless swept past the poor wayfarer as he went, dusty +and footsore, and who was, nevertheless, journeying onward to a great +immortality; to be a name remembered with blessings by generations when +the haughty man that scorned him was forgotten forever. "And so now," +thought I, "some splendid Russian or some Saxon Croesus will crash by +and not be conscious that the thin and weary-looking youth, with the +girl's bundle on his stick and the red umbrella under his arm, that this +is Potts! Ay, sir, you fancy that to be threadbare and footsore is to +be vulgar-minded and ignoble, and you never so much as suspect that the +heart inside that poor plaid waistcoat is throbbing with ambitions high +as a Kaiser's, and that the brain within that battered Jim Crow is the +realm of thoughts profound as Bacon's, and high-soaring as Milton's." + +If I make my reader a sharer in these musings of mine, it is because +they occupied me for some miles of the way. Vaterchen was not talkative, +and loved to smoke on uninterruptedly. I fancy that, in his way, he was +as great a dreamer as myself. Catinka would have talked incessantly if +any one had listened, or could understand her. As it was, she recited +legends and sang songs for herself, as happy as ever a blackbird was to +listen to his own melody; and though I paid no especial attention to her +music, still the sounds floated through all my thoughts, bathing them +with a soothing flood; just as the air we breathe is often loaded with +a sweet and perfumed breath ere we know it. On the whole, we journeyed +along very pleasantly; and what between the fresh morning air, the brisk +exercise, and the novelty of the situation, I felt in a train of spirits +that made me delighted with everything. "This, after all," thought I, +"is more like the original plan I sketched out for myself. This is the +true mode to see life and the world. The student of nature never begins +his studies with the more complicated organizations; he sets out with +what is simplest in structure, and least intricate in function; he +begins with the extreme link of the chain; so, too, I start with the +investigation of those whose lives of petty cares and small ambitions +must render them easy of appreciation. This poor Mollusca Vaterchen, for +instance,--to see is to know him; and the girl, how absurd to connect +such a guileless child of nature as that with those stereotyped notions +of feminine craft and subtlety!" I then went on to imagine some future +biographer of mine engaged on this portion of my life, puzzled for +materials, puzzled still more to catch the clew to my meaning in it "At +this time," will he say, "Potts, by one of those strange caprices which +often were the mainspring of his actions, resolved to lead a gypsy life. +His ardent love of nature, his heartfelt enjoyment of scenery, and, more +than even these, a certain breadth and generosity of character, disposed +him to sympathize with those who have few to pity and fewer to succor +them. With these wild children of the roadside he lived for months, +joyfully sharing the burdens they carried, and taking his part in +their privations. It was here he first met Catinka." I stopped at this +sentence, and I slowly repeated to myself, "It was here he first met +Catinka!" "What will he have next to record?" thought I. "Is Potts now +to claim sympathy as the victim of a passion that regarded not station, +nor class, nor fortune; that despised the cold conventionalities of +a selfish world, and asked only a heart for a heart? Is he to be +remembered as the faithful believer in his own theory,--Love, above all? +Are we to hear of him clasping rapturously to his bosom the poor forlorn +girl?" So intensely were my feelings engaged in my speculations, that, +at this critical pass, I threw my arms around Catinka's neck, and +kissed her. A rebuke, not very cruel, not in the least angry or peevish, +brought me quickly to myself; and as Vaterchen was fortunately in front +and saw nothing of what passed, I speedily made my peace. I do not know +how it happened, but in that same peace-making I had passed my arm +round her waist, and there it remained,--an army of occupation after the +treaty was signed,--and we went along, side by side, very amicably, very +happily. + +We are often told that a small competence--the just enough to live +on--is the bane of all enterprise; that men thus placed are removed from +the stimulus of necessity, and yet not lifted into the higher atmosphere +of ambitions. Exactly in the same way do I believe that equality is +the grave of love. The passion thrives on difficulty, and requires +sacrifice. You must bid defiance to mankind in your choice, or you are +a mere fortune-hunter. Show the world the blushing peasant-girl you have +made your wife, and say, "Yes, I have had courage to do this." Or else +strive for a princess,--a Russian princess. Better, far better, however, +the humble-hearted child of nature and the fields, the simple, trusting, +confiding girl, who, regarding her lover as a sort of demi-god, would, +while she clung to him-- + +"You press me so hard!" murmured Catinka, half rebukingly, but with a +sort of pouting expression that became her marvellously. + +"I was thinking of something that interested me, dearest," said I; but I +'m not sure that I made my meaning very clear to her, and yet there was +a roguish look in her black eye that puzzled me greatly. I began to +like her, or, if you prefer the phrase, to fall in love with her. I knew +it--I felt it just the way that a man who has once had the ague never +mistakes when he is going to have a return of the fever. In the same way +exactly, did I recognize all the premonitory symptoms,--the giddiness, +the shivering, increased action of the heart--Halt, Potts! and reflect a +bit; are you describing love, or a tertian? + +How will the biographer conduct himself here? Whether will he have to +say, "Potts resisted manfully this fatal attachment; had he yielded to +the seductions of this early passion, it is more than probable we would +never have seen him this, that, and t' other, nor would the world have +been enriched with--Heaven knows what;" or shall he record, "Potts loved +her, loved her as only such a nature as his ever loves! He felt keenly +that, in a mere worldly point of view, he must sacrifice; but it was +exactly in that love and that sacrifice was born the poet, the wondrous +child of song, who has given us the most glorious lyrics of our +language. He had the manliness to share his fortune with this poor +girl. * It was,' he tells us of himself, in one of those little touching +passages in his diary, which place him immeasurably above the mock +sentimentality of Jean Jacques,--'it was on the road to Constance, of +a bright and breezy summer morning, that I told her of my love. We were +walking along, our arms around each other, as might two happy, guileless +children. I was very young in what is called the world, but I had a +boundless confidence in myself; my theory was, "If I be strengthened +by the deep devotion of one loving heart, I have no fears of failure."' +Beautiful words, and worthy of all memory! And then he goes on: 'I drew +her gently over to a grassy bench on the roadside, and, taking my +purse from my pocket, poured out before her its humble contents, in all +something less than twenty sovereigns, but to her eyes a very Pactolus +of wealth.'" + +"What if I were to try this experiment?" thought I; "what if I were, +so to say, to anticipate my own biography?" The notion pleased me much. +There was something novel in it, too. It was making the experiment in +the _carpore vili_ of accident, to see what might come of it. + +"Come here, Catinka," said I, pointing to a moss-covered rock at the +roadside, with a little well at its base,--"come here, and let me have a +drink of this nice clear water." + +She assented with a smile and a nod, detaching at the same time a little +cup from the flask she wore at her side, in _vivandière_ fashion. "And +we 'll fill my flask too," said she, showing that it was empty. With a +sort of childish glee she now knelt beside the stream, and washed the +cup. What is it, I wonder, that gives the charm to running water, and +imparts a sort of glad feeling to its contemplation? Is it that its +ceaseless flow suggests that "forever" which contrasts so powerfully +with all short-lived pleasures? I cannot tell, but I was still musing +over the difficulty, when, having twice offered me the cup without my +noticing it, she at last raised it to my lips. And I drank,--oh, what +a draught it was! so clear, so cold, so pure; and all the time my +eyes were resting on hers, looking, as it were, into another well, the +deepest and most unfathomable of all. + +"Sit down here beside me on this stone, Catinka, and help me to count +these pieces of money; they have got so mingled together that I scarcely +know what is left me." She seemed delighted with the project, and sat +down at once; and I, throwing myself at her feet, poured the contents of +my purse into her lap. + +"_Madonna mia!_" was all she could utter as she beheld the gold. Aladdin +in the cave never felt a more overwhelming rapture than did she at sight +of these immense riches. "But where did it come from?" cried she, wildly. +"Have you got mines of gold and silver? Have you got gems, too,--rubies +and pearls? Oh, say if there be pearls; I love them so? And are you +really a great prince, the son of a king; and are you wandering the +world this way to seek adventures, or in search, mayhap, of that lovely +princess you are in love with?" With wildest impetuosity she asked these +and a hundred other questions, for it was only now and then that I could +trace her meaning, which expressive pantomime did much to explain. + +I tried to convince her that what she deemed a treasure was a mere +pittance, which a week or two would exhaust; that I was no prince, nor +had I a kingly father; "and last of all," said I, "I am not in pursuit +of a princess. But I 'll tell you what I am in search of, Catinka,--one +trusting, faithful, loving heart; one that will so unite itself to +mine as to have no joys or sorrows or cares but mine; one content to go +wherever I go, live however I live, and no matter what my faults may be, +or how meanly others think of me, will ever regard me with eyes of love +and devotion." + +I had held her hand while I uttered this, gazing up into her eyes with +ecstasy, for I saw how their liquid depth appeared to move as though +about to overflow, when at last she spoke, and said,-- + +"And there are no pearls!" + +"Poor child!" thought I, "she cannot understand one word I have been +saying. Listen to me, Catinka," said I, with a slow utterance. "Would +you give me your heart for all this treasure?" + +"_Si, si!_" cried she, eagerly. + +"And love me always,--forever?" + +"_Si_," said she, again; but I fancied with less of energy than before. + +"And when it was spent and gone, and nothing remaining of it, what would +you do?" + +"Send you to gather more, _mio caro_," said she, pressing my hand to her +lips, as though in earnest of the blandishments she would bestow upon +me. + +Now, I cannot affect to say that all this was very reassuring. This +poor simple child of the mountains showed a spirit as sordid and as +calculating as though she were baptized in May Fair. It was a terrible +shock to me to see this; a dire overthrow to a very fine edifice that +I was just putting the roof on! "Would Kate Herbert have made me such +a speech?" thought I. "Would she have declared herself so venal and +so worldly?--and why not? May it not be, perhaps, simply that a mere +question of good-breeding, the usages of a polite world, might have made +all the difference, and that she would have felt what poor Catinka felt +and owned to? If this were true, the advantages were all on the side +of sincerity. With honesty as the basis, what may not one build up of +character? Where there is candor there are at least no disappointments. +This poor simple child, untutored in the wiles of a scheming world, +where all is false, unreal, and deceptive, has the courage to say that +her heart can be bought. She is ready in her innocence, too, to sell +it, just as the Indians sell a great territory for a few glass beads or +bright buttons. And why should not I make the acquisition in the very +spirit of a new settler? It was I discovered this lone island of the +sea; it was I first landed on this unknown shore; why not claim a +sovereignty so cheaply established?" I put the question arithmetically +before me: Given, a young girl, totally new to life and its seductions, +deeply impressed with the value of wealth, to find the measure of +venality in a well-brought-up young lady, educated at Clapham, and +finished at Boulogne-sur-Mer. I expressed it thus: D-y=T+a?, or an +unknown quantity. + +"What strange marks are you drawing there?" cried she, as I made these +figures on the slate. + +"A caprice," said I, in some confusion. + +"No," said she; "I know better. It was a charm. Tell truth,--it was a +charm." + +"A charm, dearest; but for what?" + +"_I_ know," said she, shaking her head and laughing, with a sort of +wicked drollery. + +"_You_ know! Impossible, child." + +"Yes," she said with great gravity, while she swept her hand, across the +slate and erased all the figures. "Yes _I_ know, and I 'll not permit +it." + +"But what, in Heaven's name, is trotting through your head, Catinka? You +have not the vaguest idea of what those signs meant." + +"Yes," she said, even more solemnly than before. "I know it all. You +mean to steal away my heart in spite of me, and you are going to do it +with a charm." + +"And what success shall I have, Catinka?" + +"Oh, do not ask me," said she, in a tone of touching misery. "I feel it +very sore here." And she pressed her hand to her side. "Ah me," sighed +she, "if there were only pearls!" + +The ecstasy her first few words gave me was terribly routed by this vile +conclusion, and I started abruptly, and in an angry voice, said, "Let us +go on; Vaterchen will fear we are lost." + +"And all this gold; what shall I do with it?" cried she. + +"What you will. Throw it into the well if you like," said I, angrily; +for in good sooth I was out of temper with her and myself and all +mankind. + +"Nay," said she, mildly, "it is yours; but I will carry it for you if it +weary you." + +I might have felt rebuked by the submissive gentleness of her words; +indeed, I know not how it was that they did not so move me, and I walked +on in front of her, heedless of her entreaties that I should wait till +she came up beside me. + +When she did join me, she wanted to talk immensely. She had all manner +of questions to ask about where my treasure came from; how often I went +back there to replenish it; was I quite sure that it could never, never +be exhausted, and such-like? But I was in no gracious mood for such +inquiries, and, telling her that I wished to follow my own thoughts +without interruption, I walked along in silence. + +I cannot tell the weight I felt at my heart I am not speaking +figuratively. No; it was exactly as though a great mass of heavy metal +filled my chest, forced out my ribs, and pressed down my diaphragm; and +though I held my hands to my sides with all my force, the pressure still +remained. + +"What a bitter mockery it is," thought I, "if the only false thing in +all the world should be the human heart! There are diamonds that will +resist fire, gold that will stand the crucible; but the moment you come +to man and his affections, all is hollow and illusory!" + +Why do we give the name worldliness to traits of selfish advancement +and sordid gain, when a young creature like this, estranged from all the +commerce of mankind, who knows nothing of that bargain-and-barter system +which we call civilization, reared and nurtured like a young fawn in her +native woods, should, as though by a very instinct of corruption, have a +heart as venal as any hackneyed beauty of three London seasons? + +Let no man tell me now, that it is our vicious system of female +training, our false social organization, our spurious morality, laxity +of family ties, and the rest of it. I am firmly persuaded that a young +squaw of the Choctaws has as many anxieties about her _parti_ as any +belle of Belgravia, even though the settlements be only paid in sharks' +teeth and human toupees. + +And what an absurdity is our whole code on this subject! A man is +actually expected to court, solicit, and even worship the object that he +is after all called upon to pay for. You do not smirk at the salmon in +your fishmonger's window, or ogle the lamb at your butcher's; you go in +boldly and say, "How much the pound?" If you sighed outside for a week, +you 'd get it never the cheaper. Why not then make an honest market +of what is so salable? What a saving of time to know that the splendid +creature yonder, with the queenly air, can only be had at ten thousand +a year, but that the spicy article with the black ringlets will go for +two! Instead of all the heart-burnings and blank disappointments we see +now, we should have a practical, contented generation; and in the same +spirit that a man of moderate fortune turns away from the seductions +of turtle and whitebait, while he orders home his mutton chop, he would +avert his gaze from beauty, and fix his affections on the dumpy woman +that can be "got a bargain." + +Why did not the poet say, Venality, thy name is Woman? It would suit the +prosody about as well, and the purpose better. The Turks are our masters +in all this; they are centuries--whole centuries in advance of us. How +I wish some Babbage would make a calculation of the hours, weeks, years, +centuries of time, are lost in what is called love-making! Time, we are +told, is money; and here, at once, is the fund to pay off our national +debt. Take the "time that's lost in wooing" by a nation, say of +twenty-eight or thirty millions, and at the cheapest rate of labor--take +the prison rate if you like--and see if I be not right. Let the +population who now heave sighs pound oyster-shells, let those who pick +quarrels pick oakum, and we need no income-tax! + +"I'll not sing any more," broke in Catinka. "I don't think you have been +listening to me." + +"Listening to you!" said I, contemptuously; "certainly not. When I want +a siren, I take a pit ticket and go to the opera; seven-and-sixpence +is the price of Circe, and dear at the money." With this rude rebuff I +waved her off, and walked along once more alone. + +At a sudden bend in the road we found Vaterchen seated under a tree +waiting for us, and evidently not a little uneasy at our long absence. + +"What is this?" said he, angrily, to Catinka. "Why have you remained so +long behind?" + +"We sat down to rest at a well," said she, "and then he took out a great +bag of money to count, and there was so much in it, so many pieces of +bright gold, that one could not help turning them over and over, and +gazing at them." + +"And worshipping them too, girl!" cried he, indignantly, while he turned +on me a look of sorrow and reproach. I returned his stare haughtily, and +he arose and drew me to one side. + +"Am I, then, once more mistaken in my judgment of men? Have _you_, too, +duped me?" said he, in a voice that shook with agitation. "Was it for +this you offered us the solace of your companionship? Was it for this +you condescended to journey with us, and deigned to be our host and +entertainer?" + +The appeal came at an evil moment: a vile, contemptible scepticism was +at work within me. The rasp and file of doubt were eating away at my +heart, and I deemed "all men liars." + +"And is it to me--Potts--you address such words as these, you consummate +old humbug? What is there about me that denotes dupe or fool?" + +The old man shook his head, and made a gesture to imply he had not +understood me; and now I remembered that I had uttered this rude speech +in English, and not in German. With the memory of this fact came also +the consciousness of its cruel meaning. What if I should have wronged +him? What if the poor old fellow be honest and upright? What if he be +really striving to keep this girl in the path of virtue? I came close +to him, and fixed my eyes steadfastly on his face. He looked at me +fearlessly, as an honest man might look. He never tried to turn +away, nor did he make the slightest effort to evade me. He seemed to +understand all the import of my scrutiny, for he said, at last,-- + +"Well, are you satisfied?" + +"I am, Vaterchen," said I, "fully satisfied. Let us be friends." And I +took his hand and shook it heartily. + +"You think me honest?" asked he. + +"I do think so." + +"And I am not more honest than she is. No," said he, resolutely, +"Tintefleck is true-hearted." + +"What of _me?_" cried she, coming up and leaning her arm on the old +man's shoulder,--"what of _me?_" + +"I have said that you are honest, and would not deceive!" + +"Not _you_, Vaterchen,--not _you_," said she, kissing him. And then, as +she turned away, she gave me a look so full of meaning, and so strange, +withal, that if I were to speak for an hour I could not explain it. It +seemed to mean sorrow and reproach and wounded pride, with a dash of +pity, and above all and everything, defiance; ay, that was its chief +character, and I believe I winced under it. + +"Let us step out briskly," said Vaterchen. "Constance is a good eleven +miles off yet." + +"He looks tired already," said she, with a glance at me. + +"I? I'm as fresh as when I started," said I. And I made an effort to +appear brisk and lively, which only ended in making them laugh heartily. + + + + +CHAPTER XXXIII. MY ELOQUENCE BEFORE THE CONSTANCE MAGISTRATES. + +Respectable reader, there is no use in asking you if you have ever been +in the Hotel of the "Balance," at Constance. Of course you have not. It +is neither recorded in the book of John, nor otherwise known to fame. It +is an obscure hostel, only visited by the very humblest wayfarers, +and such poor offshoots of wretchedness as are fain to sleep on a +truckle-bed and sup meanly. Vaterchen, however, spoke of it in generous +terms. There was a certain oniony soup he had tasted there years ago +whose flavor had not yet left his memory. He had seen, besides, the most +delicious _schweine fleiseh_ hanging down from the kitchen rafters, and +it had been revealed to him in a dream that a solvent traveller might +have rashers on demand. + +Poor fellow! I had not the vaguest idea of the eloquence he possessed +till he came to talk on these matters. From modest and distrustful, he +grew assured and confident; his hesitation of speech was replaced by a +fluent utterance and a rich vocabulary; and he repeatedly declared +that though the exterior was unprepossessing, and the surface generally +homely, there were substantial comforts obtainable which far surpassed +the resources of more pretentious houses. "You are served on pewter, it +is true," said he; "but pewter is a rare material to impart relish to +a savory mess." Though we should dine in the kitchen, he gave me to +understand that even in this there were advantages, and that the polite +guest of the _salon_ never knew what it was to taste that rich odor of +the "roast," or that fragrant incense that steamed up from the luscious +stew, and which were to cookery what bouquet was to wine. + +"I will not say that, honored sir," continued he, "to you, in the mixed +company which frequent such humble hearths there would be matter +of interest and amusement; but, to a man like myself, these chance +companionships are delightful. Here all are stragglers, all adventurers. +Not a man that deposits his pack in the corner and draws in his chair +to the circle but is a wanderer and a pilgrim of one sort or other." He +drew me an amusing picture of one of these groups, wherein, even without +telling his story, each gave such insight into his life and travels as +to present a sort of drama. + +Whether it was that my companion had drawn too freely on his +imagination, or that we had fallen on an unfortunate moment, I cannot +say; but, though we found the company at the "Balance" numerous and +varied, there was none of the sociality I looked for, still less of that +generous warmth and good greeting which he assured me was the courtesy +of such places. The men were chiefly carriers, with their mule-teams and +heavy wagons, bound for the Bavarian Tyrol. There was a sprinkling +of Jew pedlers, on their way to the Vorarlberg; a deserter from the +Austrian army, trying to get back to Hesse Cassel; and an Italian image +carrier, with a green parrot and a well-filled purse, going back to +finish his days at Lucca. + +Now none of these were elements of a very exalted or exclusive rank; +they were each and all of them taken from the very base of the social +pyramid; and yet, would it be believed that they regarded our entrance +amongst them as an act of rare impudence! + +A more polished company might have been satisfied with averted heads or +cold looks; these were less equivocal. One called out to the landlord +to know if he expected any gypsies; another, affecting to treat us as +solicitors for their patronage, said he had no "batzen" to bestow on +buffoonery; a third suggested we should get up our theatricals under +the cart-shed outside, and beat the drum when we were ready; and the +deserter, a poor weak-looking, mangy wretch with a ragged fatigue-jacket +and broken boots, put his arm round Catinka's waist, to draw her on his +knee, for the which she dealt him such a slap on the face as fairly sent +him on the floor, in which ignoble position. + +Vaterchen kicked him again and again. In an instant all were upon us. +Carters, pedlers, and image men assailed us furiously. I suppose I beat +somebody; I know that several beat _me_. The impression left upon me +when all was over was of a sort of human kaleidoscope, where the people +turned every way without ceasing. Now we seemed all on our feet, now on +our heads, now on the floor, now in the air, Vaterchen flying about like +a demon, while Tinte-, fleck stood in a corner, with a gleaming stiletto +in hand, saying something in Calabrian, which sounded like an invitation +to come and be killed. + +The police came at last; and, after a noisy scene of accusation and +denial, the weight of evidence went against us, and we were marched off +to prison, poor old Vaterchen crying like a child, for all the disgrace +and misery he had brought on his benefactor: and while he kissed my +hand, swearing that a whole life's devotion would not be enough to +recompense me for what he had been the means of inflicting on me, +Catinka took it more easily, her chief regret apparently being, that +nobody came near enough to give her a chance with her knife, which she +assured us she wielded with a notable skill, and could, with a jerk, +send flying through a door, like a javelin, at full six paces' distance; +nor, indeed, was it without considerable persuasion she could be induced +to restore it to its sheath, which truth obliges me to own was inside +her garter. Our prison, an old tower adjoining the lake, had been once +the dungeon of. John Huss, and the torture chamber, as it was still +called, continued to be used for mild transgressors, such as we were. +A small bribe induced the jailer's wife to take poor Tintefleck for the +night into her own quarters, and Vaterchen and I were sole possessors +of the gloomy old hall, which opened by a balcony, railed like a sort of +cage, over the lake. + +If the torture chamber had been denuded of its flesh pincers and +thumb-screws, and the other ingenious devices of human cruelty, I am +bound to own that its traditions as a place of suffering had not died +out, as the fleas left nothing to be desired on the score of misery. +Whether it was that they had been pinched by a long fast, or that we +were more tender, cutaneously, than the aborigines, I know not, but I +can safely aver that I never passed such a night, and sincerely trust +that I may never pass such another. Though the air from the lake was +cold and chilly, we preferred to crouch on the balcony to remaining +within the walls; but even here our persecutors followed us. + +Vaterchen slept through it all; an occasional convulsive jerk would +show, at times, when one of the enemy had chanced upon some nervous +fibre; but, on the whole, he bore up like one used to such martyrdom, +and able to brave it. As for me, when morning broke, I looked like +a strong case of confluent smallpox, with the addition that my heavy +eyelids nearly closed over my eyes, and my lips swelled out like a +Kaffir's. How that young minx, Catinka, laughed at me. All the old +man's signs, warnings, menaces, were in vain; she screamed aloud with +laughter, and never ceased, even as we were led into the tribunal and +before the dread presence of the judge. + +The judgment-seat was not imposing. It was a long, low, ill-lighted +chamber, with a sort of raised counter at one end, behind which sat +three elderly men, dressed like master sweeps,--that is, of the old days +of climbing-boys. The prisoners were confined in a thing like a fold, +and there leaned against one end of the same pen as ourselves, a +square-built, thick-set man of about eight-and-forty, or fifty, dressed +in a suit of coarse drab, and whom, notwithstanding an immense red beard +and moustache, a clear blue eye and broad brow proclaimed to be English. +He was being interrogated as we entered, but from his total ignorance of +German the examination was not proceeding very glibly. + +"You 're an Englishman, ain't you?" cried he, as I came in. "You can +speak High Dutch, perhaps?" + +"I can speak German well enough to be intelligible, sir." + +"All right," said he, in the same free-and-easy tone. "Will you explain +to those old beggars there that they 're making fools of themselves. +Here's how it is. My passport was made out for two; for Thomas Harpar, +that's me, and Sam Bigges. Now, because Sam Rigges ain't here, they tell +me I can't be suffered to proceed. Ain't that stupid? Did you ever hear +the like of that for downright absurdity before?" + +"But where is he?" + +"Well, I don't mind telling you, because you 're a countryman; but +I don't like blackening an Englishman to one of those confounded +foreigners. Rigges has run." + +"What do you mean by 'run'?" + +"I mean, cut his stick; gone clean away; and what's worse, too, carried +off a stout bag of dollars with him that we had for our journey." + +"Whither were you going?" + +"That's neither here nor there, and don't concern you in any respect +What you 've to do is, explain to the old cove yonder,--the fellow in +the middle is the worst of them,--tell him it's all right, that I 'm +Harpar, and that the other ain't here; or, look here, I 'll tell you +what's better, do you be Rigges, and it's all right." + +I demurred flatly to this suggestion, but undertook to plead his cause +on its true merits. + +"And who are you, sir, that presume to play the advocate here?" said +the judge, haughtily. "I fancied that you stood there to answer a charge +against yourself." + +"That matter may be very easily disposed of, sir," said I, as proudly; +"and you will be very fortunate if you succeed as readily in explaining +your own illegal arrest of me to the higher court of your country." + +With the eloquence which we are told essentially belongs to truth, +I narrated how I had witnessed, as a mere passing traveller, the +outrageous insult offered to these poor wanderers as they entered the +inn. With the warm enthusiasm of one inspired by a good cause, I painted +the whole incident with really scarcely a touch of embellishment, +reserving the only decorative portion to a description of myself, whom I +mentioned as an agent of the British government, especially employed on +a peculiar service, the confirmation of which I proudly established +by my passport setting forth that I was a certain "Ponto, Chargé des +Dépêches." + +Now if there be one feature of continental life fixed and immutable, it +is this: that wherever the German language be spoken, the reverence for +a government functionary is supreme. If you can only show on documentary +evidence that you are grandson of the man who made the broom that swept +out a government office, it is enough. You are from that hour regarded +as one of the younger children of Bureaucracy. You are under the +protection of the state, and though you be but the smallest rivet in +the machinery, there is no saying what mischief might not ensue if you +were either lost or mislaid. + +I saw in an instant the dread impression I had created, and I said, in +a voice of careless insolence, "Go on, I beg of you; send me back to +prison; chain me; perhaps you would like to torture me? The government +I represent is especially slow in vindicating the rights of its injured +officials. It has a European reputation for long-suffering, patience, +and forbearance. Yes, Englishmen can be impaled, burned, flayed alive, +disembowelled. By all means, avail yourselves of your bland privileges; +have me led out instantly to the scaffold, unless you prefer to have me +broken on the wheel!" + +"Will nobody stop him!" cried the president, almost choking with wrath. + +"Stop me; I suspect not, sir. It is upon these declarations of mine, +made thus openly, that my country will found that demand for reparation +which will one day cost you so dearly. Lead on, I am ready for the +block." And as I said this, I untied my cravat, and appeared to prepare +for the headsman. + +"If he will not cease, the court shall be dissolved," called out the +judge. + +"Never, sir. Never, so long as I live, shall I surrender the glorious +privileges of that freedom by which I assert my birthright as a Briton." + +"Well, you are as impudent a chap as ever I listened to," muttered my +countryman at my side. + +"The prisoners are dismissed, the court is adjourned," said the +president, rising; and amidst a very disorderly crowd, not certainly +enthusiastic in our favor, we were all hurried into the street. + +"Come along down here," said Mr. Harpar. "I 'm in a very tidy sort of +place they call the 'Golden Pig.' Come along, and bring the vagabonds, +and let's have breakfast together." + +I was hurt at the speech; but as my companions could not understand its +coarseness, I accepted the invitation, and we followed him. + +"Well, I ain't seen _your_ like for many a day," said Harpar, as we went +along. "If you 'd have said the half of that to one of our 'Beaks,' I +think I know where you 'd be. But you seem to understand the fellows +well. Mayhap you have lived much abroad?" + +"A great deal. I am a sort of citizen of the world," said I, with a +jaunty easiness. + +"For a citizen of the world you appear to have strange tastes in your +companionship. How did you come to forgather with these creatures?" + +I tried the timeworn cant about seeing life in all its +gradations,--exploring the cabin as well as visiting the palace, and +so on; but there was a rugged sort of incredulity in his manner that +checked me, and I could not muster the glib rudeness which usually stood +by me on such occasions. + +"You 're not a man of fortune," said he, dryly, as I finished; "one sees +that plainly enough. You 're a fellow that should be earning his bread +somehow; and the question is,--Is this the kind of life that you ought +to be leading? What humbug it is to talk about knowing the world and +such-like. The thing is, to know a trade, to understand some art, to +be able to produce something, to manufacture something, to convert +something to a useful purpose. When you 've done that, the knowledge of +men will come later on, never be afraid of that. It's a school that we +never miss one single day of our lives. But here we are; this is the +'Pig.' Now, what will you have for breakfast? Ask the vagabonds, too, +and tell them there's a wide choice here; they have everything you can +mention in this little inn." + +An excellent breakfast was soon spread out before us, and though my +humble companions did it the most ample justice, I sat there, thoughtful +and almost sad. The words of that stranger rang in my ears like a +reproach and a warning. I knew how truly he had said that I was not a +man of fortune, and it grieved me sorely to think how easily he saw it. +In my heart of hearts I knew it was the delusion I loved best To appear +to the world at large an eccentric man of good means, free to do what +he liked and go where he would, was the highest enjoyment I had ever +prepared for myself; and yet here was a coarse, commonplace sort of +man,--at least, his manners were unpolished and his tone underbred,--and +he saw through it all at once. + +I took the first opportunity to slip away unobserved from the company, +and retired to the little garden of the inn, to commune with myself and +be alone. But ere I had been many minutes there, Harpar joined me. +He came up smoking his cigar, with the lounging, lazy air of a man at +perfect leisure, and, consequently, quite free to be as disagreeable as +he pleased. + +"You went off without eating your breakfast," said he, bluntly. "I saw +how it was. You did n't like _my_ freedom with you. You fancied that I +ought to have taken all that nonsense of yours about your rank and your +way of life for gospel; or, at least, that I ought to have pretended to +do so. That ain't my way. I hate humbug." + +It was not very easy to reply good humoredly to such a speech as this. +Indeed, I saw no particular reason to treat this man's freedom with any +indulgence, and drawing myself haughtily up, I prepared a very dry but +caustic rejoinder. + +"When I have learned two points," said I, "on which you can inform me, +I may be better able to answer what you have said. The first is: By what +possible right do you take to task a person that you never met in your +life till now? and, secondly, What benefit on earth could it be to me to +impose upon a man from whom I neither want nor expect anything?" + +"Easily met, both," said he, quickly. "I'm a practical sort of fellow, +who never wastes time on useless materials; that's for your first +proposition. Number two: you're a dreamer, and you hate being awakened." + +"Well, sir," said I, stiffly, "to a gentleman so remarkable for +perspicuity, and who reads character at sight, ordinary intercourse must +be wearisome. Will you excuse me if I take my leave of you here?" + +"Of course, make no ceremony about it; go or stay, Just as you like. I +never cross any man's humor." + +I muttered something that sounded like a dissent to that doctrine, and +he quickly added, "I mean, further than speaking my mind, that 's all; +nothing more. If you had been a man of fair means, and for a frolic +thought it might be good fun to consort for a few days with rapscallions +of a travelling circus, all one could say was, it was n't very good +taste; but being, evidently, a fellow of another stamp, a young man +who ought to be in his father's shop or his uncle's counting-house, +following some honest craft or calling,--for _you_, I say, it was +downright ruin." + +"Indeed!" said I, with an accent of intense scorn. + +"Yes," continued he, seriously, "downright ruin, There's a poison in the +lazy, good-for-nothing life of these devils, that never leaves a man's +blood. I 've a notion that it would n't hurt a man's nature so much +were he to consort with housebreakers; there's, at least, something real +about these fellows." + +"You talk, doubtless, with knowledge, sir," said I, glad to say +something that might offend him. + +"I do," said he, seriously, and not taking the smallest account of the +impertinent allusion. "I know that if a man has n't a fixed calling, +but is always turning his hand to this, that, and t' other, he will +very soon cease to have any character whatsoever; he 'll just become as +shifty in his nature as in his business. I 've seen scores of fellows +wrecked on that rock, and I had n't looked at you twice till I saw you +were one of them." + +"I must say, sir," said I, summoning to my aid what I felt to be a most +cutting sarcasm of manner,--"I must say, sir, that, considering how +short has been the acquaintance which has subsisted between us, it would +be extremely difficult for me to show how gratefully I feel the interest +you have taken in me." + +"Well, I 'm not so sure of that," said he, thoughtfully. + +"May I ask, then, how?" + +"Are you sure, first of all, that you wish to show this gratitude you +speak of?" + +"Oh, sir, can you possibly doubt it?" + +"I don't want to doubt it, I want to profit by it." + +I made a bland bow that might mean anything, but did not speak. + +"Here's the way of it," said he, boldly. "Rigges has run off with all my +loose cash, and though there 's money waiting for me at certain places, +I shall find it very difficult to reach them. I have come down here +on foot from Wild-bad, and I can make my way in the same fashion, to +Marseilles or Genoa; but then comes the difficulty, and I shall need +about ten pounds to get to Malta. Could you lend me ten pounds?" + +"Really, sir," said I, coolly, "I am amazed at the innocence with which +you can make such a demand on the man whom you have, only a few minutes +back, so acutely depicted as an adventurer." + +"It was for that very reason I thought of applying to you. Had you +been a young fellow of a certain fortune, you 'd naturally have been +a stranger to the accidents which now and then leave men penniless in +out-of-the-way places, and it is just as likely that the first thought +in your head would be, 'Oh, he's a swindler. Why has n't he his letters +of credit or his circular notes?' But, being exactly what I take you +for, the chances are, you 'll say: 'What has befallen _him_ to-day may +chance to _me_ to-morrow. Who can tell the day and the hour some mishap +may not overtake him? and so I 'll just help him through it.'" + +"And that was your calculation?" + +"That was my calculation." + +"How sorry I feel to wound the marvellous gift you seem to possess of +interpreting character. I am really shocked to think that for this time, +at least, your acuteness is at fault." + +"Which means that you 'll not do it." + +I smiled a benign assent. + +He looked at me for a minute or more with a sort of blank incredulity, +and then, crossing his arms on his breast, moved slowly down the walk +without speaking. + +I cannot say how I detested this man; he had offended me in the very +sorest part of all my nature; he had wounded the nicest susceptibility I +possessed; of the pleasant fancies wherewith I loved to clothe myself he +would not leave me enough to cover my nakedness; and yet, now that I +had resented his cool impertinence, I hated myself far more than I hated +him. Dignity and sarcasm, forsooth! What a fine opportunity to display +them, truly! The man might be rude and underbred; he _was_ rude and +underbred! and was that any justification for _my_ conduct towards +him? Why had I not had the candor to say, "Here 's all I possess in the +world; you see yourself that I cannot lend you ten pounds." How I wished +I had said that, and how I wished, even more ardently still, that I had +never met him, never interchanged speech with him! + +"And why is it that I am offended with him,--simply because he has +discovered that I am Potts?" Now, these reflections were all the more +bitter, since it was only twenty-four hours before that I had resolved +to throw off delusion either of myself or others; that I would take my +place in the ranks, and fight out my battle of life a mere soldier. For +this it was that I made companionship with Vaterehen, walking the high +road with that poor old man of motley, and actually speculating--in a +sort of artistic way--whether I should not make love to Tintefleck! And +if I were sincere in all this, how should I feel wounded by the honest +candor of that plain-spoken fellow. He wanted a favor at my hands, he +owned this; and yet, instead of approaching me with flattery, he at once +assails the very stronghold of my self-esteem, and says, "No humbug, +Potts; at least none with _me!_" He opens acquaintance with me on that +masonic principle by which the brotherhood of Poverty is maintained +throughout all lands and all peoples, and whose great maxim is, "He who +lends to the poor man borrows from the ragged man." + +"I 'll go after him at once," said I, aloud. "I 'll have more talk +with him. I 'm much mistaken if there's not good stuff in that rugged +nature." + +When I entered the little inn, I found Vaterehen fast asleep; he had +finished off every flask on the table, and lay breathing stertorously, +and giving a long-drawn whistle in his snore, that smacked almost of +apoplexy. Tintefleck was singing to her guitar before a select audience +of the inn servants, and Harpar was gone! + +I gave the girl a glance of rebuke and displeasure. I aroused the old +man with a kick, and imperiously demanded my bill. + +"The bill has been paid by the other stranger," said the landlord; "he +has settled everything, and left a _trinkgeld_ for the servants, so that +you have nothing to pay." + +I could have almost cried with spite as I heard these words. It would +have been a rare solace to my feelings if I could have put that man down +for a rogue, and then been able to say to myself, how cleverly I had +escaped the snares of a swindler. But to know now that he was not +only honest but liberal, and to think, besides, that I had been his +guest,--eaten of his salt,--it was more than I well could endure. + +"Which way did he take?" asked I. + +"Round the head of the lake for Lindao. I told him that the steamer +would take him there to-morrow for a trifle, but he would not wait." + +"Ah me!" sighed Vaterchen, but half awake, and with one eye still +closed, "and we are going to St. Gallen." + +"Who said so?" cried I, imperiously. "We are going to Lindao; at least, +if I be the person who gives orders here. Follow!" And as I spoke I +marched proudly on, while a slip-shod, shuffling noise of feet, and a +low, half-smothered sob told me that they were coming after me. + + + + +CHAPTER XXXIV. A SUMPTUOUS DINNER AND AN EMPTY POCKET + +Mr poor companions had but a sorry time of it on that morning. I was in +a fearful temper, and made no effort to control it. The little romance +of my meeting with these creatures was beginning to scale off, and, +there beneath, lay the vulgar metal of their natures exposed to view. +As for old Vaterchen, shuffling along in his tattered shoes, half-stupid +with wine and shame together, I could n't bear to look at him; while +Tintefleck, although at the outset abashed by my rebukeful tone and +cold manner, had now rallied, and seemed well disposed to assert her +own against all comers. Yes, there' was a palpable air of defiance about +her, even to the way that she sang as she went along; every thrill and +cadence seemed to say, "I 'm doing this to amuse myself; never imagine +that I care whether you are pleased or not." Indeed, she left me no +means of avoiding this conclusion, since at every time that I turned on +her a look of anger or displeasure, her reply was to sing the louder. + +"And it was only yesterday," thought I, "and I dreamed that I could be +in love with this creature,--dreamed that I could replace Kate Herbert's +image in my heart with that coarse travesty of woman's gentleness. Why, +I might as well hope to make a gentleman of old Vaterchen, and present +him to the world as a man of station and eminence." + +What an insane hope was this! As well might I shiver a fragment from a +stone on the road-side, and think to give it value by having it set as a +ring. The caprice of keeping them company for a day might be pardonable. +It was the whim of one who is, above all, a student of mankind. But why +continue the companionship? A little more of such intimacy, and who +is to say what I may not imbibe of their habits and their natures; and +Potts, the man of sentiment, the child of impulse, romance, and poetry, +become a slave of the "Ring," a saltimbanque! Now, though I could +implicitly rely upon the rigidity of my joints to prevent the +possibility of my ever displaying any feats of agility, I could yet +picture myself in a long-tailed blue coat and jack-boots walking round +and round in the sawdust circle, with four or five other creatures of +the same sort, and who have no consciousness of any function till they +are made the butt of some extempore drollery by the clown. + +The creative temperament has this great disadvantage, that one cannot +always build castles, but must occasionally construct hovels, and +sometimes even dungeons and jails; and here was I now, with a large +contract order for this species of edifice, and certainly £ set to work +with a will. The impatience of my mind communicated itself to my gait, +and I walked along at a tremendous rate. + +"I can scarcely keep up with you at this pace," said Tintefleck; "and +see, we have left poor Vaterchen a long way behind." + +I made some rude answer,--I know not what,--and told her to come on. + +"I will not leave him," said she, coming to a halt, and standing in a +composed and firm attitude before me. + +"Then I will," said I, angrily. "Farewell!" And waving my hand in a +careless adieu, I walked briskly onward, not even turning a look on her +as I went. I think, I'm almost certain, I heard a heavy sob close +behind me, but I would not look round for worlds. I was in one of those +moods--all weak men know them well--when a harsh or an ungracious act +appears something very daring and courageous. The very pain my conduct +gave myself, persuaded me that it must be heroic, just as a devotee is +satisfied after a severe self-castigation. + +"Yes, Potts," said I, "you are doing the right thing here. A little +more of such association as this, and you would be little better than +themselves. Besides, and above all, you ought to be 'real.' Now, these +are not real any more than the tinsel gems and tinfoil splendors they +wear on their tunics." It broke on me, too, like a sudden light, that +to be the fictitious Potts, the many-sided, many-tinted,--what a +German would call "der mitviele-farben bedeckte Potts,"--I ought to be +immensely rich, all my changes of character requiring great resources +and unlimited "properties" as stage folk call them; whereas, "der echte +wahrhaf-tige Mann Potts" might be as poor as Lazarus. Indeed, the poorer +the more real, since more natural. + +While I thus speculated, I caught sight of a man scaling one of +the precipitous paths by which the winding road was shortened for +foot-travellers; a second glance showed me that this was Harpar, who, +with a heavy knapsack, was toiling along. I made a great effort to +come up with him, but when I reached the high road, he was still a +long distance in front of me. I could not, if there had been any one to +question me, say why I wished to overtake him. It was a sort of chase +suggested simply by the object in front; a rare type, if we but knew it, +of one half the pursuits we follow throughout life. + +As I mounted the last of these bypaths which led to the crest of the +mountain, I felt certain that, with a lighter equipment, I should come +up with him; but scarcely had I gained the top, than I saw him striding +away vigorously on the road fully a mile away beneath me. "He shall not +beat me," said I; and I increased my speed. It was all in vain. I could +not do it; and when I drew nigh Lindau at last, very weary and footsore, +the sun was just sinking on the western shore of the lake. + +"Which is the best inn here?" asked I of a shopkeeper who was lounging +carelessly at his door. + +"Yonder," said he, "where you see that post-carriage turning into." + +"To-night," said I, "I will be guilty of an extravagance. I will treat +myself to a good supper, and an honest glass of wine." And on these +hospitable thoughts intent I unslung my knapsack, and, throwing as much +of distinction as I could into my manner, strolled into the public room. + +So busied was the household in attending to the travellers who arrived +"extra post," that none condescended to notice me, till at last, as the +tumult subsided, a venerable old waiter approached me, and said, in a +half friendly, half rebukeful tone, "It is at the 'Swan' you ought to +be, my friend, the next turning but two to the left hand, and you 'll +see the blue lantern over the gateway." + +"I mean to remain where I am," said I, imperiously, "and to remember +your impertinence when I am about to pay my bill. Bring me the _carte_." + +I was overjoyed to see the confusion and shame of the old fellow. He saw +at once the grievous error he had committed, and was so overwhelmed that +he could not reply. Meanwhile, with all the painstaking accuracy of a +practised _gourmand_, I was making a careful note of what I wished for +supper. + +"Are you not ashamed," said I, rebukefully, "to have _ortolans_ here, +when you know in your heart they are swallows?" + +He was so abject that he could only give a melancholy smile, as though +to say, "Be merciful, and spare us!" + +"Bohemian pheasant, too,--come, come, this is too bad! Be frank and +confess; how often has that one speckled tail done duty on a capon of +your own raising?" + +"Gracious Herr!" muttered he, "do not crush us altogether." + +I don't think that he said this in actual words, but his terrified eyes +and his shaking cheeks declared it. + +"Never mind," said I, encouragingly, "it will not hurt us to make a +sparing meal occasionally; with the venison and steak, the fried salmon, +the duck with olives, and the apricot tart, we will satisfy appetite, +and persuade ourselves, if we can, that we have fared luxuriously." + +"And the wine, sir?" asked he. + +"Ah, there we _are_ difficult. No little Baden vintage, no small wine of +the Bergstrasse, can impose upon us! Lieb-frauen-milch, or, if you can +guarantee it, Marcobrunner will do; but, mind, no substitutes!" + +He laid his hand over his heart and bowed low; and, as he moved away, +I said to myself, "What a mesmerism there must be in real money, since, +even with the mockery of it, I have made that creature a bond slave." +Brief as was the interval in preparing my meal, it was enough to allow +me a very considerable share of reflection, and I found that, do what +I would, a certain voice within would whisper, "Where are your fine +resolutions now, Potts? Is this the life of reality that you had +promised yourself? Are you not at the old work again? Are you not +masquerading it once more? Don't you know well enough that all this +pretension of yours is bad money, and that at the first ring of it on +the counter you will be found out?" + +"This you may rely on, gracious sir," said the waiter, as he laid a +bottle on the table beside me with a careful hand. "It is the orange +seal;" and he then added, in a whisper, "taken from the Margrave's +cellar in the revolution of '93, and every flask of it worth a +province." + +"We shall see--we shall see," said I, haughtily; "serve the soup!" + +If I had been Belshazzar, I believe I should have eaten very heartily, +and drunk my wine with a great relish, notwithstanding that drawn sword. +I don't know how it is, but if I can only see the smallest bit of _terra +firma_ between myself and the edge of a precipice, I feel as though +I had a whole vast prairie to range over. For the life of me I cannot +realize anything that may, or may not, befall me remotely. "Blue are the +hills far off," says the adage; and on the converse of the maxim do I +aver, that faint are all dangers that are distant. An immediate +peril overwhelms me; but I could look forward to a shipwreck this day +fortnight with a fortitude truly heroic. + +"This is a nice old half-forgotten sort of place," thought I, "a kind +of vulgar Venice, water-washed, and muddy, and dreary, and do-nothing. +I 'll stay here for a week or so; I 'll give myself up to the drowsy +_genius loci_; I'll Germanize to the top of my bent; who is to say what +metaphysical melancholy, dashed with a strange diabolic humor, may +not come of constantly feeding on this heavy cookery, and eternally +listening to their gurgling gutturals? I may come out a Wieland or a +Herder, with a sprinkling of Henri Heine! Yes," said I, "this is the +true way to approach life; first of all develop your own faculties, and +then mark how in their exercise you influence your fellow-men. Above +all, however, cultivate your individuality, respect this the greatest of +all the unities." + +"_Ja, gnädiger Herr_," said the old waiter, as he tried to step away from +my grasp, for, without knowing it, I had laid hold of him by the wrist +while I addressed to him this speech. Desirous to re-establish my +character for sanity, somewhat compromised by this incident, I said: + +"Have you a money-changer in these parts? If so, let me have some silver +for this English gold." I put my hand in my pocket for my purse; not +finding it, I tried another and another. I ransacked them all over +again, patted myself, shook my coat, looked into my hat, and then, +with a sudden flash of memory, I bethought me that I had left it with +Catinka, and was actually without one sou in the world! I sat down, pale +and almost fainting, and my arms fell powerless at my sides. + +"I have lost my purse!" gasped I out, at length. + +"Indeed!" said the old man, but with a tone of such palpable scorn that +it actually sickened me. + +"Yes," said I, with all that force which is the peculiar prerogative of +truth; "and in it all the money I possessed." + +"I have no doubt of it," rejoined he, in the same dry tone as before. + +"You have no doubt of what, old man? Or what do you mean by the +supercilious quietness with which you assent to my misfortune? Send the +landlord to me." + +"I will do more! I will send the police," said he, as he shuffled out of +the room. + +I have met scores of men on my way through life who would not have felt +the slightest embarrassment in such a situation as mine, fellows so +accustomed to shipwreck, that the cry of "Breakers ahead!" or "Man the +boats," would have occasioned neither excitement nor trepidation. What +stuff they are made of instead of nerves, muscles, and arteries, I +cannot imagine, since, when the question is self-preservation, how can +it possibly be more imminent than when not alone your animal existence +is jeopardized, but the dearer and more precious life of fame and +character is in peril? + +For a moment I thought that though this besotted old fool of a waiter +might suspect my probity the more clear-sighted intelligence of the +landlord would at once recognize my honest nature, and with the +confidence of a noble conviction say, "Don't tell me that the man yonder +is a knave. I read him very differently. Tell me your story, sir." And +then I would tell it. It is not improbable that my speculation might +have been verified had it not been that it was a landlady and not a +landlord who swayed the destinies of the inn. Oh, what a wise invention +of our ancestors was the Salique law! How justly they appreciated +the unbridled rashness of the female nature in command! How well they +understood the one-idea'd impetuosity with which they rush to wrong +conclusions! + +Until I listened to the Frau von Wintner, I imagined the German language +somewhat weak in the matter of epithets. She undeceived me on this head, +showing resources of abusive import that would have done credit to a +Homeric hero. Having given me full ten minutes of a strong vocabulary, +she then turned on the waiter, scornfully asking him if, at his time of +life, he ought to have let himself be imposed upon by so palpable and +undeniable a swindler as myself? She clearly showed that there was no +extenuation of his fault, that rogue and vagabond had been written on my +face, and inscribed in my manner; not to mention that I had followed the +well-beaten track of all my fraternity in fraud, and ordered everything +the most costly the house could command. In fact, so strenuously did she +urge this point, and so eager did she seem about enforcing a belief +in her statement, that I almost began to suspect she might suggest an +anatomical examination of me to sustain her case. Had she been even +less eloquent, the audience would still have been with her, for it is +a curious but unquestionable fact that in all little visited localities +the stranger is ungraciously regarded and ill looked on. + +Whenever I attempted to interpose a word in my defence, I was overborne +at once. Indeed, public opinion was so decidedly against me, that I felt +very happy in thinking Lynch law was not a Teutonic institution. The +room was now filled with retainers of the inn, strangers, town-folk, +and police, and, to judge by the violence of their gestures and the loud +tones of their voices, one would have pronounced me a criminal of the +worst sort. + +"But what is it that he has done? What's his offence?" I heard a voice +say from the crowd, and I fancied his accent was that of a foreigner. A +perfect inundation of vituperative accusation, however, now poured in, +and I could gather no more. The turmoil and uproar rose and fell, and +fell and rose again, till at last, my patience utterly exhausted, I +burst out into a very violent attack on the uncivilized habits of a +people who could thus conduct themselves to a man totally unconvicted of +any offence. + +"Well, well, don't give way to passion; don't let temper get the better +of you," said a fat, citizen-like man beside me. "The stranger there has +just paid for what you have had, and all is settled." + +I thought I should have fainted as I heard these words. Indeed, +until that instant, I had never brought home to my own mind the utter +destitution of my state; but now, there. I stood, realizing to myself +the condition of one of those we read of in our newspapers as having +received five shillings from the poor-box, while D 490 is deputed to +"make inquiries after him at his lodgings," and learn particulars of his +life and habits. I could have borne being sent to prison. I could +have endured any amount of severity, so long as I revolted against its +injustice; but the sense of being an object of actual charity crushed me +utterly, and I could nearly have cried with vexation. + +By degrees the crowd thinned off, and I found myself sit-, ting alone +beside the table where I had dined, with the hateful old waiter, as +though standing sentinel over me. + +"Who is this person," asked I, haughtily, "who, with an indelicate +generosity, has presumed to interfere with the concerns of a stranger?" + +"The gracious nobleman who paid for your dinner is now eating his own at +No. 8," said the old monster with a grin. + +"I will call upon him when he has dined," said I, transfixing the +wretch with a look so stern, as to make rejoinder impossible; and then, +throwing my plaid wrapper and my knapsack on a table near, I strolled +out into the street. + +Lindau is a picturesque old place, as it stands rising, as it were, out +of the very waters of the Lake of Constance, and the great mountain of +the Sentis, with its peak of six thousand feet high, is a fine object +in the distance; while the gorge of the Upper Rhine offers many a grand +effect of Alpine scenery, not the less striking when looked at with a +setting sun, which made the foreground more massive and the hill tops +golden; and yet I carried that in my heart which made the whole picture +as dark and dreary as Poussin's Deluge. It was all very beautiful. +There, was the snow-white summit, reflected in the still water of the +lake; there, the rich wood, browned with autumn, and now tinted with a +golden glory, richer again; there were the white-sailed boats, asleep +on the calm surface, streaked with the variegated light of the clouds +above, and it was peaceful as it was picturesque. But do what I could, +I could not enjoy it, and all because I had lost my purse, just as +if certain fragments of a yellow metal the more or the less, ought to +obscure eyesight, lull the sense of hearing, and make a man's whole +existence miserable. "And after all," thought I, "Catinka will be here +this evening, or to-morrow at furthest. Vater-chen was tired, and +could not come on. It was _I_ who left them; I, in my impatience and +ill-humor. The old man doubtless knew nothing of the purse confided to +the girl, nor is it at all needful that he should. They will certainly +follow me, and why, for the mere inconvenience of an hour or two, should +I persist in seeing the whole world so crape-covered and sad-looking? +Surely this is not the philosophy my knowledge of life has taught me. I +ought to know and feel that these daily accidents are but stones on +the road one travels. They may, perchance, wound the foot or damage +the shoe, but they rarely delay the journey, if the traveller be not +faint-hearted and craven. I will treat the whole incident in a higher +spirit. I will wait for their coming in that tranquil and assured +condition of mind which is the ripe fruit of a real insight into +mankind. Pitt said, after long years of experience, that there was more +of good than of bad in human nature. Let it be the remark of some future +biographer that Potts agreed with him." + +When I got back to the inn, I was somewhat puzzled what to do. It would +have been impossible with any success to have resumed my former tone +of command, and for the life of me I could not bring myself down to +anything like entreaty. While I thus stood, uncertain how to act, the +old waiter approached me, almost courteously, and said my room was ready +for me when I wished it. + +"I will first of all wait upon the traveller in No. 8," said L + +"He has retired for the night," was the answer. "He seems in very +delicate health, and the fatigue of the journey has overcome him." + +"To-morrow will do, then," said I easily; and not venturing upon an +inquiry as to the means by which my room was at my disposal, I took my +candle and mounted the stairs. + +As I lay down in my bed, I resolved I would take a calm survey of my +past life: what I had done, what I had failed to do, what were the guiding +principles which directed me, and whither they were likely to bear me. +But scarcely had I administered to myself the preliminary oath to tell +nothing but the truth, than I fell off sound asleep. + +My first waking thought the next morning was to inquire if two persons +had arrived in search of me--an elderly man and a young woman. I +described them. None such had been seen. "They will have sought shelter +in some of the humbler inns," thought I; "I'll up and look after +them." I searched the town from end to end; I visited the meanest +halting-places of the wayfarer; I inquired at the police bureaus--at +the gate--but none had arrived who bore any resemblance to those I asked +after. I was vexed--only vexed at first--but gradually I found myself +growing distrustful. The suspicion that the ice is not strong enough for +your weight, and then, close upon that, the shock of fear that strikes +you when the loud crash of a fracture breaks on the ear, are mere +symbols of what one suffers at the first glimmering of a betrayal. I +repelled the thought with indignation; but certain thoughts there are +which, when turned out, stand like sturdy duns at the gate, and will +not be sent away. This was one of them. It followed me wherever I +went, importunately begging for a hearing, and menacing me with sad +consequences if I were obdurate enough to listen. "You are a simpleton, +Potts, a weak, foolish, erring creature! and you select as the objects +of your confidence those whose lives of accident present exactly as the +most irresistible of all temptations to them--the Dupe! How they must +have laughed--how they must yet be laughing at you! How that old drunken +fox will chuckle over your simplicity, and the minx Tintefleck indulge +herself in caricatures of your figure and face! I wonder how much of +truth there was in that old fellow's story? Was he ever the syndic of +his village, or was the whole narrative a mere fiction like--like--" I +covered my face with my hands in shame as I muttered out, "like one of +your own, Potts?" + +I was very miserable, for I could no longer stand proudly forward as the +prosecutor, but was obliged to steal ignominiously into the dock and +take my place beside the other prisoners. What became of all my honest +indignation as I bethought me, that I, of all men, could never arraign +the counterfeit and the sham? + +"Let them go, then," cried I, "and prosper if they can; I will never +pursue them. I will even try and remember what pleased and interested me +in their fortunes, and, if it may be, forget that they have carried away +my little all of wealth." + +A loud tramping of post-horses, and the cracking of whips, drew me to +the window, and I saw beneath in the court-yard, a handsome travelling +britschka getting ready for the road. Oh, how suggestive is a well +cushioned calèche, with its many appliances of ease and luxury, its trim +imperials, its scattered litter of wrappers and guide-books,--all little +episodes of those who are to journey in it! + +"Who are the happy souls about to travel thus enjoy-ably?" thought I, as +I saw the waiter and the courier discussing the most convenient spot to +deposit a small hamper with eatables for the road; and then I heard the +landlady's voice call out: + +"Take up the bill to No. 8." + +So, then, this was No. 8 who was fast getting ready to depart,--No. 8 +who had interposed in my favor the evening before, and towards whom a +night's rest and some reflection had modified my feelings and changed my +sentiments very remarkably. + +"Will you ask the gentleman at No. 8 if I may be permitted to speak with +him?" said I to the man who took in the bill. + +"He 'll scarcely see you now,--he's just going off." + +"Give the message as I speak it," said I; and he disappeared. + +There was a long interval before he issued forth again, and when he did +so he was flurried and excited. Some overcharges had been taken off +and some bad money in change to be replaced by honest coin, and it was +evident that various little well-intended rogueries had not achieved +their usual success. + +"Go in, you 'll find him there," said the waiter, insolently, as he went +down to have the bill rectified. + +I knocked, a full round voice cried, "Come in!" and I entered. + + + + +CHAPTER XXXV. HART CROFTON'S COMMISSION + +"Well, what next? Have you bethought you of anything more to charge me +with?" cried a large full man, whose angry look and manner showed how he +resented these cheatings. + +I staggered back sick and faint, for the individual before me was +Crofton, my kind host of long ago in Ireland, and from whose hospitable +roof I had taken such an unceremonious departure. + +"Who are you?" cried he, again. "I had hoped to have paid everything and +everybody. Who are you?" + +Wishing to retire unrecognized, I stammered out something very +unintelligibly indeed about my gratitude, and my hope for a pleasant +journey to him, retreating all the while towards the door. + +"It's all very well to wish the traveller a pleasant journey," said +he, "but you innkeepers ought to bear in mind that no man's journey is +rendered more agreeable by roguery. This house is somewhat dearer than +the 'Clarendon' in London, or the 'Hôtel du Rhin' at Paris. Now, there +might be, perhaps, some pretext to make a man pay smartly who travels +post, and has two or three servants with him, but what excuse can you +make for charging some poor devil of a foot traveller, taking his humble +meal in the common room, and, naturally enough, of the commonest fare, +for making him pay eight florins--eight florins and some kreutzers--for +his dinner? Why, our dinner here for two people was handsomely paid at +six florins a head, and yet you bring in a bill of eight florins against +that poor wretch." + +I saw now that, what between the blinding effects of his indignation, +and certain changes which time and the road had worked in my appearance, +it was more than probable I should escape undetected, and so I affected +to busy myself with some articles of his luggage that lay scattered +about the room until I could manage to slip away. + +"Touch nothing, my good fellow!" cried he, angrily; "send my own people +here for these things. Let my courier come here--or my valet!" + +This was too good an opportunity to be thrown away, and I made at once +for the door; but at the same instant it was opened, and Mary Crofton +stood before me. One glance showed me that I was discovered; and there +I stood, speechless with shame and confusion. Rallying, however, after a +moment, I whispered, "Don't betray me," and tried to pass out Instead of +minding my entreaty, she set her back to the door, and laughingly cried +out to her brother,-- + +"Don't you know whom we have got here?" + +"What do you mean?" exclaimed he. + +"Cannot you recognize an old friend, notwithstanding all his efforts to +cut us?" + +"Why--what--surely it can't be--it's not possible--eh?" And by this time +he had wheeled me round to the strong light of the window, and then, +with a loud burst, he cried out, "Potts, by all that's ragged! Potts +himself! Why, old fellow, what could you mean by wanting to escape us?" +and he wrung my hand with a cordial shake that at once brought the blood +back to my heart, while his sister completed my happiness by saying,-- + +"If you only knew all the schemes we have planned to catch you, you +would certainly not have tried to avoid us." + +I made an effort to say something,--anything, in short,--but not a word +would come. If I was overjoyed at the warmth of their greeting, I was +no less overwhelmed with shame; and there I stood, looking very pitiably +from one to the other, and almost wishing that I might faint outright +and so finish my misery. + +With a woman's fine tact, Mary Crofton seemed to read the meaning of my +suffering, and, whispering one word in her brother's ear, she slipped +away and left us alone together. + +"Come," said he, good-naturedly, as he drew his arm inside of mine, and +led me up and down the room, "tell me all about it. How have you come +here? What are you doing?" + +I have not the faintest recollection of what I said. I know that I +endeavored to take up my story from the day I had last seen him, but +it must have proved a very strange and bungling narrative, from the +questions which he was forced occasionally to put, in order to follow me +out. + +"Well," said he, at last, "I will own to you that, after your abrupt +departure, I was sorely puzzled what to make of you, and I might have +remained longer in the same state of doubt, when a chance visit that I +made to Dublin led me to Dycer's, and there, by a mere accident, I heard +of you,--heard who you were, and where your father lived. I went at once +and called upon him, my object being to learn if he had any tidings +of you, and where you then were. I found him no better informed than +myself. He showed me a few lines you had written on the morning you +had left home, stating that you would probably be absent some days, and +might be even weeks, but that since that date nothing had been heard +of you. He seemed vexed and displeased, but not uneasy or apprehensive +about your absence, and the same tone I observed in your college tutor, +Dr. Tobin. He said, 'Potts will come back, sir, one of these days, and +not a whit wiser than he went. His self-esteem is to his capacity in the +reduplicate ratio of the inverse proportion of his ability, and he will +be always a fool.' I wrote to various friends of ours travelling about +the world, but none had met with you; and at last, when about to +come abroad myself, I called again on your father, and found him just +re-married." + +"Re-married!" + +"Yes! he was lonely, he said, and wanted companionship, and so on; +and all I could obtain from him was a note for a hundred pounds, and +a promise that, if you came back within the year, you should share the +business of his shop with him." + +"Never! never!" said I. "Potts maybe the fool they deem him, but there +are instincts and promptings in his secret heart that they know nothing +of. I will never go back. Go on." + +"I now come to my own story. I left Ireland a day or two after and came +to England, where business detained me some weeks. My uncle had died and +left me his heir,--not, indeed, so rich as I had expected, but very well +off for a man who had passed his life on very moderate means. There were +a few legacies to be paid, and one which he especially intrusted to +me by a secret paper, in the hope that, by delicate and judicious +management, I might be able to persuade the person in whose interest +it was bequeathed to accept. It was, indeed, a task of no common +difficulty, the legatee being the widow of a man who had, by my uncle's +cruelty, been driven to destroy himself. It is a long story, which I +cannot now enter upon; enough that I say it had been a trial of strength +between two very vindictive unyielding men which should crush the +other, and my uncle, being the richer,--and not from any other +reason,--conquered. + +"The victory was a very barren one. It imbittered every hour of his +life after, and the only reparation in his power, he attempted on his +death-bed, which was to settle an annuity on the family of the man +he had ruined. I found out at once where they lived, and set about +effecting this delicate charge. I will not linger over my failure; but +it was complete. The family was in actual distress, but nothing would +induce them to listen to the project of assistance; and, in fact, their +indignation compelled me to retire from the attempt in despair. My +sister did her utmost in the cause, but equally in vain, and we prepared +to leave the place, much depressed and cast down by our failure. It +was on the last evening of our stay at the inn of the little village, +a townsman of the place, whom I had employed to aid my attempt by his +personal influence with the family, asked to see me and speak with me in +private. + +"He appeared to labor under considerable agitation, and opened +our interview by bespeaking my secrecy as to what he was about to +communicate. It was to this purport: A friend of his own, engaged in the +Baltic trade, had just declared to him that he had seen W., the person +I allude to, alive and well, walking on the quay at Riga, that he traced +him to his lodging; but, on inquiring for him the next day, he was not +to be found, and it was then ascertained that he had left the city. W. +was, it would seem, a man easily recognized, and the other declared that +there could not be the slightest doubt of his identity. The question was +a grave one how to act, since the assurance company with which his life +was insured were actually engaged in discussing the propriety of some +compromise by paying to the family a moiety of the policy, and a variety +of points arose out of this contingency; for while it would have been +a great cruelty to have conveyed hopes to the family that might by +possibility not be realized, yet, on the other hand, to have induced +them to adopt a course on the hypothesis of his death when they believed +him still living, was almost as bad. + +"I thought for a long while over the matter, and with my sister's +counsel to aid me, I determined that we should come abroad and seek out +this man, trusting that, if we found him, we could induce him to accept +of the legacy which his family rejected. We obtained every clew we could +think of to his detection. A perfect description of him, in voice, look, +and manner; a copy of his portrait, and a specimen of his handwriting; +and then we bethought ourselves of interesting you in the search. You +were rambling about the world in that idle and desultory way in which +any sort of a pursuit might be a boon,--as often in the by-paths as +on the high-roads; you might chance to hit off this discovery in some +remote spot, or, at all events, find some clew to it. In a word, we grew +to believe that, with you to aid us, we should get to the bottom of this +mystery; and now that by a lucky chance we have met you, our hopes are +all the stronger." + +"You 'll think it strange," said I, "but I already know something of +this story; the man you allude to was Sir Samuel Whalley." + +"How on earth have you guessed that?" + +"I came by the knowledge on a railroad journey, where my +fellow-passengers talked over the event, and I subsequently travelled +with Sir Samuel's daughter, who came abroad to fill the station of a +companion to an elderly lady. She called herself Miss Herbert." + +"Exactly! The widow resumed her family name after W.'s suicide,--if it +were a suicide." + +"How singular to think that you should have chanced upon this link of +the chain! And do you know her?" + +"Intimately; we were fellow-travellers for some days." + +"And where is she now?" + +"She is, at this moment, at a villa on the Lake of Como, living with a +Mrs. Keats, the sister of her Majesty's Envoy at Kalbbratonstadt." + +"You are marvellously accurate in this narrative, Potts," said he, +laughing; "the impression made on you by this young lady can scarcely +have been a transient one." + +I suppose I grew very red,--I felt that I was much confused by this +remark,--and I turned away to conceal my emotion. Crofton was too +delicate to take any advantage of my distress, and merely added,-- + +"From having known her, you will naturally devote yourself with more +ardor to serve her. May we then count upon your assistance in our +project?" + +"That you may," said I. "From this hour I devote myself to it." + +Crofton at once proposed that I should order my luggage to be placed on +his carriage, and start off with them; but I firmly opposed this plan. +First of all, I had no luggage, and had no fancy to confess as +much; secondly, I resolved to give at least one day for Vaterchen's +arrival,--I'd have given a month rather than come down to the dreary +thought of his being a knave, and Tintefleck a cheat! In fact, I +felt that if I were to begin any new project in life with so slack an +experience, that every step I took would be marked with distrust, and +tarnished with suspicion. I therefore pretended to Crofton that I had +given rendezvous to a friend at Lindau, and could not leave without +waiting for him. I am not very sure that he believed me, but he was most +careful in not dropping a word that might show incredulity; and once +more we addressed ourselves to the grand project before us. + +"Come in, Mary!" cried he, suddenly rising from his chair, and going to +meet her. "Come in, and help us by your good counsel." + +It was not possible to receive me with more kindness than she showed. +Had I been some old friend who came to meet them there by appointment, +her manner could not have been more courteous nor more easy; and when +she learned from her brother how warmly I had associated myself in this +plan, she gave me one of her pleasantest smiles, and said,-- + +"I was not mistaken in you." + +With a great map of Europe before us on the table, we proceeded to plan +a future line of operations. We agreed to take certain places, each of +us, and to meet at certain others, to compare notes and report progress. +We scarcely permitted ourselves to feel any great confidence of success, +but we all concurred in the notion that some lucky hazard might do for +us more than all our best-devised schemes could accomplish; and, at +last, it was settled that, while they took Southern Germany and the +Tyrol, I should ramble about through Savoy and Upper Italy, and our +meeting-place be in Italy. The great railway centres, where Englishmen +of every class and gradation were much employed, offered the best +prospect of meeting with the object of our search, and these were +precisely the sort of places such a man would be certain to resort to. + +Our discussion lasted so long that the Croftons put off their journey +till the following day, and we dined all together very happily, never +wearied of talking over the plan before us, and each speculating as +to what share of acute-ness he could contribute to the common stock +of investigation. It was when Crofton left the room to search for the +portrait of Whalley, that Mary sat down at my side, and said,-- + +"I have been thinking for some time over a project in which you can aid +me greatly. My brother tells me that you are known to Miss Herbert. +Now I want to write to her; I want to tell her that there is one who, +belonging to a family from which hers has suffered heavily, desires to +expiate so far, maybe, the great wrong, and, if she will permit it, +to be her friend. While I can in a letter explain what I feel on this +score, I am well aware how much aid it would afford me to have the +personal corroboration of one who could say, 'She who writes this is not +altogether unworthy of your affection; do not reject the offer she makes +you, or, at least, reflect and think oyer it before you refuse it' Will +you help me so far?" + +My heart bounded with delight as I first listened to her plan; it was +only a moment before that I remembered how difficult, if not impossible, +it would be for me to approach Miss Herbert once more. How or in what +character could I seek her? To appear before her in any feigned part +would be, under the circumstances, ignoble and unworthy, and yet was +I, out of any merely personal consideration, any regard for the poor +creature Potts, to forego the interests, mayhap the whole happiness, of +one so immeasurably better and worthier? Would not any amount of shame +and exposure to myself be a cheap price for even a small quantity +of benefit bestowed on _her!_ What signified it that I was poor and +ragged--unknown, unrecognized--if _she_ were to be the gainer? Would +not, in fact, the very sacrifice of self in the affair be ennobling and +elevating to me, and would I not stand better in my own esteem for this +one honest act, than I had ever done after any mock success or imaginary +victory? + +"I think I can guess why you hesitate," cried she; "you fear that I will +say something indiscreet,--something that would compromise you with Miss +Herbert,--but you need not dread that; and, at all events, you shall +read my letter." + +"Far from it," said I; "my hesitation had a very different source. I +was solely thinking whether, if you were aware of how I stood in my +relations to Miss Herbert, you would have selected me as your advocate; +and though it may pain me to make a full confession, you shall hear +everything." + +With this I told her all,--all, from my first hour of meeting her at the +railway station, to my last parting with her at Schaffhausen. I tried to +make my narrative as grave and commonplace as might be, but, do what I +would, the figure in which I was forced to present myself, overcame all +her attempts at seriousness, and she laughed immoderately. If it had not +been for this burst of merriment on her part, it is more than probable +I might have brought down my history to the very moment of telling, and +narrated every detail of my journey with Vaterchen and Tintefieck. I +was, however, warned by these circumstances, and concluded in time to +save myself from this new ridicule. + +"From all that you have told me here," said she, "I only see one +thing,--which is, that you are deeply in love with this young lady." + +"No," said I; "I was so once, I am not so any longer. My passion has +fallen into the chronic stage, and I feel myself her friend,--only her +friend." + +"Well, for the purpose I have in mind, this is all the better I +want you, as I said, to place my letter in her hands, and, so far as +possible, enforce its arguments,--that is, try and persuade her that to +reject our offers on her behalf is to throw upon us a share of the great +wrong our uncle worked, and make us, as it were, participators in the +evil he did them. As for myself," said she, boldly, "all the happiness +that I might have derived from ample means is dashed with remembering +what misery it has been attended with to that poor family. If you urge +that one theme forcibly, you can scarcely fail with her." + +"And what are your intentions with regard to her?" asked I. + +"They will take any shape she pleases. My brother would either enable +her to return home, and, by persuading her mother to accept an annuity, +live happily under her own roof; or she might, if the spirit of +independence fires her,--she might yet use her influence over her mother +and sister to regard our proposals more favorably; or she might come +and live with us, and this I would prefer to all; but you must read my +letter, and more than once too. You must possess yourself of all its +details, and, if there be anything to which you object, there will be +time enough still to change it." + +"Here he is,--here is the portrait of our lost sheep," said Crofton, +now entering with a miniature in his hand. It represented a bluff, bold, +almost insolently bold man in full civic robes, the face not improbably +catching an additional expression of vulgar pride from the fact that the +likeness was taken in that culminating hour of greatness when he first +took the chair as chief magistrate of his town. + +"Not an over-pleasant sort of fellow to deal with, I should say," +remarked Crofton. "There are some stern lines here about the corners +of the eyes, and certain very suspicious-looking indentations next the +mouth." + +"His eye has no forgiveness in it," said his sister. + +"Well, one thing is clear enough, he ought to be easily recognized; that +broad forehead, and those wide-spread nostrils and deeply divided chin, +are very striking marks to guide one. I cannot give you this," said +Crofton to me, "but I 'll take care to send you an accurate copy of it +at the first favorable moment; meanwhile, make yourself master of its +details, and try if you cannot carry the resemblance in your memory." + +"Disabuse yourself, too," said she, laughing, "of all this accessorial +grandeur, and bear in mind that you 'll not find him dressed in ermine, +or surrounded with a collar and badge. Not very like his daughter, I 'm +sure," whispered she in my ear, as I continued to gaze steadfastly at +the portrait. "Can you trace any likeness?" + +"Not the very faintest; she is beautiful," said I, "and her whole +expression is gentleness and delicacy." + +"Well, certainly," said Crofton, shutting up the miniature, "these are +not the distinguishing traits of our friend here, whom I should call a +hard-natured, stern, obstinate fellow, with great self-reliance, and no +great trust of others." + +"I was just thinking," said I, "that were I to come up with such a man +as this, what chance would my poor, frail, yielding temperament have, in +influencing the rugged granite of his nature? He 'd terrify me at once." + +"Not when your object was a good and generous one," said Miss Crofton. +"You might well enough be afraid to confront such a man as this if your +aim was to overreach and deceive him; but bear in mind the fable of the +man who had the courage to take the thorn out of the lion's paw. The +operation, we are told, was a painful one, and there might have been an +instant in which the patient felt disposed to eat his doctor; but, with +all these perils, strong in a good purpose, the surgeon persevered, and +by his skill and his courage made the king of the beasts his fast friend +for life. The lesson is worth remembering." + +I was still pondering over this apophthegm, when Crofton aroused me +by pushing across the table a great heap of gold. "This is all yours, +Potts," said he; "and remember that as you are now my agent, travelling +for the house of Crofton and Co., that you journey at my cost." + +Of course I would not listen to this proposal, and, although urged by +Miss Crofton with all a woman's tact and delicacy, I persisted so firmly +in my refusal, that they were obliged to yield. I now had a hundred +pounds all my own; and though the sum be not a very splendid one, +I remember some French writer--I 'm not sure it is not Jules +Janin--saying, "Any man who can put his hand into his pocket and find +five Napoleons there, is rich;" and he certainly supports his theory +with considerable sophistry and cleverness, mainly depending on the +assumption that any of the reasonable daily necessities of life, even in +a luxurious point of view, are attainable with such means. Now, although +a hundred pounds would not very long supply resources for such a life, +yet, as I am not a Frenchman, nor living in Paris, still less had I +habits or tastes of a costly kind, I might very well eke out three +months pleasantly on this sum, and in these three months what might not +happen? In a "hundred days" the great Napoleon crushed the whole might +of the Austrian empire, and secured an emperor's daughter for his bride; +and in another "hundred days" he made the tour of France, from Cannes to +Rochefort, and lost an empire by the way! Wonderful things might then be +compassed within three months. + +"What are you saying about three months, Potts?" asked Crofton, for +unwittingly I had uttered these words aloud. + +"I was observing," said I, "that in three months from this day, we +should arrange to meet somewhere. Where shall we say?" + +"Geneva is very central; shall we name Geneva?" + +"Oh, on no account Let our rendezvous be in Italy Let us say Rome." + +"Rome be it, then," cried Crofton. "Now for another point: let us have a +wager as to who first discovers the object of our search. I 'll bet you +twenty Napoleons, Potts, to ten,--for as we are two to one, so should +the wager be." + +"I take you," cried I, entering into his humor, "and I feel as certain +of success as if I had your money in my hands." + +"Will you have another wager with _me?_" whispered Mary Crofton, as she +came behind my chair. "It is, that you 'll not persuade Miss Herbert to +wear this ring for _my_ sake." + +"I 'll bet my life on it," said I, taking the opal ring she drew from +her finger, as she spoke; "I'm in that mood of confidence now, I feel +there is nothing I could not promise." + +"If so, then, Potts, let me have the benefit of this fortunate interval, +and ask you to promise me one thing, which is, not to change your mind +more than twice a day; don't be angry with me, but hear me out. You are +a good-hearted fellow, and have excellent intentions; I don't think I +know one less really selfish, but, at the same time, you are so +fickle of purpose, so undecided in action, that I 'd not be the least +astonished to hear, when we asked for you to-morrow at breakfast +time, that you had started for a tour in Norway, or on a voyage to the +Southern Pacific." + +"And is this your judgment of me also, Miss Crofton?" said I, rising +from my seat. + +"Oh, no, Mr. Potts. I would only suspect you of going off into the +Tyrol, or the Styrian Alps, and forgetting all about us, amidst the +glaciers and the cataracts." + +"I wish you a good-night, and a better opinion of your humble servant," +said I, bowing. + +"Don't go, Potts--wait a minute--come back. I have something to tell +you." + +I closed the door behind me, and hastened off, not, however, perfectly +clear whether I was the injured man, or one who had just achieved a +great outrage. + + + + +CHAPTER XXXVI. FURTHER INTERCOURSE WITH HARPAR + +I am obliged to acknowledge that I was vainglorious enough to accept +a seat in the Crofton carriage on the morning of their departure, +and accompany them for a mile or so of the way,--even at the price of +returning on foot,--just that I might show myself to the landlady and +that odious old waiter in a position of eminence, and make them do +a bitter penance for the insults they had heaped on an illustrious +stranger. It was a poor and paltry triumph, and over very contemptible +adversaries, but I could not refuse it to myself. Crofton, too, +contributed largely to the success of my little scheme, by insisting +that I should take the place beside his sister, while he sat with his +back to the horses; and though I refused at first, I acceded at last, +with the bland compliance of a man who feels himself once more in his +accustomed station. + +As throughout this true history I have candidly revealed the inmost +traits of my nature--well knowing the while how deteriorating such +innate anatomy must prove--I have ever felt that he who has small claims +to interest by the events of his life, can make some compensation to +the world by an honest exposure of his motives, his weaknesses, and his +struggles. Now, my present confession is made in this spirit, and is not +absolutely without its moral, for, as the adage tells us, "Look after +the pence, and the pounds will take care of themselves;" so would I say, +Guard yourself carefully against petty vices. You and I, most esteemed +reader, are--I trust fervently--little likely to be arraigned on a +capital charge. I hope sincerely that transportable felonies, and even +misdemeanors, may not picture among the accidents of our life; such-like +are the pounds that take care of themselves, but the "small pence" which +require looking after, are little envies and jealousies and rancors, +petty snobberies of display, small exhibitions of our being better than +this man or greater than that; these, I repeat to you, accumulate on +a man's nature just the way barnacles fasten on a ship's bottom,--from +mere time, and it is wonderful what damage can come of such paltry +obstacles. + +I very much doubt if a Roman conqueror regarded the chained captive who +followed his chariot with a more supreme pride than I bestowed upon that +miserable old waiter who now bowed himself to the ground before me, +and when I ordered my dinner for four o'clock, and said that probably I +might have a friend to dine with me, his humiliation was complete. + +"I wish I knew the secret of your staying here," said Mary Crofton, as +we drove along; "why will you not tell it?" + +"Perhaps it might prove indiscreet, Mary; our friend Potts may have +become a _mauvais sujet_ since we have seen him last?" + +I wrapped myself in a mysterious silence, and only smiled. + +"Lindau, of all places, to stop at!" resumed she, pettishly. "There is +nothing remarkable in the scenery, no art treasures, nothing socially +agreeable; what can it possibly be that detains you in such a place?" + +"My dear Mary," said Crofton, "you are, without knowing it, violating a +hallowed principle; you are no less than leading into temptation. Look +at poor Potts there, and you will see that, while he knows in his +inmost heart the secret which detains him here is some passing and +insignificant circumstance unworthy of mention, you have, by imparting +to it a certain importance, suggested to his mind the necessity of a +story; give him now but five minutes to collect himself, and I'll engage +that he will 'come out' with a romantic incident that would never have +seen the light but for a woman's curiosity." + +"Good heavens!" thought I, "can this be a true interpretation of my +character? Am I the weak and impressionable creature this would bespeak +me?" I must have blushed deeply at my own reflection, for Crofton +quickly added,-- + +"Don't get angry with me, Potts, any more than you would with a friend +who 'd say, 'Take care how you pass over that bridge, I know it is +rotten and must give way.'" + +"Let me answer you," said I, courageously, for I was acutely hurt to be +thus arraigned before another. "It is more than likely that you, with +your active habits and stirring notions of life, would lean very heavily +on him who, neither wanting riches nor honors, would adopt some simple +sort of dreamy existence, and think that the green alleys of the beech +wood, or the little path beside the river, pleasanter sauntering than +the gilded antechamber of a palace; and just as likely is it that you +would take him roundly to task about wasted opportunities, misapplied +talents, and stigmatize as inglorious indolence what might as possibly +be called a contented humility. Now, I would ask you, why should one +man be the measure of another? The load you could carry with ease might +serve to crush me, and yet there may be some light burdens that would +suit _my_ strength, and in bearing which I might taste a sense of duty +grateful as your own." + +"I have no patience with you," began Crofton, warmly; but his sister +stopped him with an imploring look, and then, turning to me, said,-- + +"Edward fancies that every one can be as energetic and active as +himself, and occasionally forgets what you have just so well remarked as +to the relative capacities of different people." + +"I want him to do something, to be something besides a dreamer!" burst +he in, almost angrily. + +"Well, then," said I, "you shall see me begin this moment, tor I will +get down here and walk briskly back to the town." I called to the +postilions to pull up at the same time, and in spite of remonstrances, +entreaties,--almost beseeching from Mary Crofton,--I persisted in my +resolve, and bade them farewell. + +Crofton was so much hurt that he could scarcely speak, and when he gave +me his hand it was in the coldest of manners. + +"But you 'll keep our rendezvous, won't you!" said Mary; "we shall meet +at Rome." + +"I really wonder, Mary, how you can force our acquaintanceship where it +is so palpably declined. Good-bye,--farewell," said he to me. + +"Good-bye," said I, with a gulp that almost choked me; and away drove +the carriage, leaving me standing in the train of dust it had raised. +Every crack of the postboys' whips gave me a shock as though I had felt +the thong on my own shoulders; and, at last, as sweeping round a turn of +the road the carriage disappeared from view, such was the sense of utter +desolation that came over me, that I sat down on a stone by the wayside, +overwhelmed. I do not know if I ever felt such an utter sense of +destitution as at that moment. "What a wealth of friends must a man +possess," thought I, "who can afford to squander them in this fashion! +How could I have repelled the counsels that kindness alone could have +prompted? Surely Crofton must know far more of life than I did?" From +this I went on to inquire why it was that the world showed itself so +unforgiving to idleness in men of small fortune, since, if no burden to +the community, they ought to be as free as their richer brethren. It was +a puzzling theme, and though I revolved it long, I made but little of +it; the only solution that occurred to me was, that the idleness of the +humble man is not relieved by the splendors and luxuries which surround +a rich man's leisure, and that the world resents the pretensions of ease +unassociated with riches. In what a profound philosophy was it, then, +that Diogenes rolled his tub about the streets! There was a mock purpose +about it, that must have flattered his fellow-citizens. I feel assured +that a great deal of the butterfly-hunting and beetle-gathering that we +see around us is done in this spirit They are a set of idle folk anxious +to indulge their indolence without reproach. + +Thus pondering and musing, I strolled back to the town. So still and +silent was it, so free from all movement of traffic or business, that +I was actually in the very centre of it without knowing it. There +were streets without passengers, and shops without customers, and even +_cafés_ without guests, and I wondered within myself why people should +thus congregate to do nothing, and I rambled on from street to alley, +and from alley to lane, never chancing upon one who had anything in +hand. At last I gained the side of the lake, along which a little +quay ran for some distance, ending in a sort of terraced walk, now +grass-grown and neglected. There were at least the charms of fresh air +and scenery here, though the worthy citizen seemed to hold them cheaply, +and I rambled along to the end, where, by a broad flight of steps, the +terrace communicated with the lake; a spot, doubtless, where, once on +a time, the burghers took the water and went out a-pleasuring with fat +fraus and fräuleins. I had reached the end, and was about to turn back +again, when I caught sight of a man, seated on one of the lower steps, +employed in watching two little toy ships which he had just launched. +Now, this seemed to me the very climax of indolence, and I sat myself +down on the parapet to observe him. His proceedings were indeed of the +strangest, for as there was no wind to fill the sails and his vessels +lay still and becalmed, he appeared to have bethought him of another +mode to impart interest to him. He weighted one of them with little +stones till he brought her gunwale level with the water, and then +pressing her gently with his hand, he made her sink slowly down to the +bottom. I 'm not quite certain whether I laughed outright, or that some +exclamation escaped me as I looked, but some noise I must unquestionably +have made, for he started and turned up his head, and I saw Harpar the +Englishman whom I had met the day before at Constance. + +"Well, you 're not much the wiser after all," said he, gruffly, and +without even saluting me. + +There was in the words, and fierce expression of his face, something +that made me suspect him of insanity, and I would willingly have retired +without reply had he not risen and approached me. + +"Eh," repeated he, with a sneer, "ain't I right? You can make nothing of +it?" + +"I really don't understand you!" said I. "I came down here by the merest +accident, and never was more astonished than to see you." + +"Oh, of course; I am well used to that sort of thing," went he on in +the same tone of scoff. "I 've had some experience of these kinds of +accidents before; but, as I said, it's no use, you 're not within one +thousand miles of it, no, nor any man in Europe." + +It was quite clear to me now that he _was_ mad, and my only care was to +get speedily rid of him. + +"I 'm not surprised," said I, with an assumed ease,--"I'm not surprised +at your having taken to so simple an amusement, for really in a place so +dull as this any mode of passing the time would be welcome." + +"Simple enough when you know it," said he, with a peculiar look. + +"You arrived last night, I suppose?" said I, eager to get conversation +into some pleasanter channel. + +"Yes, I got here very late. I had the misfortune to sprain my ankle, and +this detained me a long time on the way, and may keep me for a couple of +days more." + +I learned where he was stopping in the town, and seeing with what pain +and difficulty he moved, I offered him my aid to assist him on his way. + +"Well, I 'll not refuse your help," said he, dryly; "but Just go along +yonder, about five-and-twenty or thirty yards, and I'll join you. You +understand me, I suppose?" + +Now, I really did not understand him, except to believe him perfectly +insane, and suggest to me the notion of profiting by his lameness to +make my escape with all speed. I conclude some generous promptings +opposed this course, for I obeyed his injunctions to the very letter, +and waited till he came up to me. He did so very slowly, and evidently +in much suffering, assisted by a stick in one hand, while he carried his +two little boats in the other. + +"Shall I take charge of these for you?" said I, offering to carry them. + +"No, don't trouble yourself," said he in the same rude tone. "Nobody +touches these but myself." + +I now gave him my arm, and we moved slowly along. + +"What has become of the vagabonds? Are they here with you?" asked he, +abruptly. + +"I parted with them yesterday," said I, shortly, and not wishing to +enter into further explanations. + +"And you did wisely," rejoined he, with a serious air. "Even when +these sort of creatures have nothing very bad about them, they are bad +company, out of the haphazard chance way they gain a livelihood. If you +reduce life to a game, you must yourself become a gambler. Now, there's +one feature of that sort of existence intolerable to an honest man; it +is, that to win himself, some one else must lose. Do you understand me?" + +"I do, and am much struck by what you say." + +"In that case," said he, with a nudge of his elbow against my side,--"in +that case you might as well have not come down to watch _me?_--eh?" + +I protested stoutly against this mistake, but I could plainly perceive +with very little success. + +"Let it be, let it be," said he, with a shake of the head. "As I said +before, if you saw the thing done before your eyes you 'd make nothing +of it. I 'm not afraid of you, or all the men in Europe! There now, +there's a challenge to the whole of ye! Sit down every man of ye, with +the problem before ye, and see what you 'll make of it." + +"Ah," thought I, "this is madness. Here is a poor monomaniac led away +into the land of wild thoughts and fancies by one dominating caprice; +who knows whether out of the realm of this delusion he may not be a man +acute and sensible." + +"No, no," muttered he, half aloud; "there are, maybe, half a million of +men this moment manufacturing steam-engines; but it took one head, just +one head, to set them all working, and if it was n't for old Watt, the +world at this day would n't be five miles in advance of what it was a +century back. I see," added he, after a moment, "you don't take much +interest in these sort of things. _Your_ line of parts is the walking +gentleman, eh? Well, bear in mind it don't pay; no, sir, it don't pay! +Here, this is my way; my lodging is down this lane. I'll not ask you to +come further; thank you for your help, and good-bye." + +"Let us not part here; come up to the inn and dine with me," said I, +affecting his own blunt and abrupt manner. + +"Why should _I_ dine with _you?_" asked he, roughly. + +"I can't exactly say," stammered I, "except out of good-fellowship, +just as, for instance, I accepted your invitation t' other morning to +breakfast." + +"Ah, yes, to be sure, so you did. Well, I 'll come. We shall be all +alone, I suppose?" + +"Quite alone." + +"All right, for I have no coat but this one;" and he looked down at the +coarse sleeve as he spoke, with a strange and sad smile, and then waving +his band in token of farewell, he said, "I 'll join you in half an +hour," and disappeared up the lane. + +I have already owned that I did not like this man; he had a certain +short abrupt way that repelled me at every moment. When he differed in +opinion with me, he was not satisfied to record his dissent, but he +must set about demolishing my conviction, and this sort of intolerance +pervaded all he said. There was, too, that business-like practical tone +about him that jars fearfully on the sensitive fibre of the idler's +nature. + +It was exactly in proportion as his society was distasteful to me, that +I felt a species of pride in associating with him, as though to say, +"I am not one of those who must be fawned on and flattered. I am of +a healthier and manlier stamp; I can afford to hear my judgments +arraigned, and my opinions opposed." And in this humor I ascended the +stairs of the hotel, and entered the room where our table was already +laid out. + +To compensate, as far as they could, for the rude reception of the day +before, they had given me now the "grand apartment" of the inn, which, +by a long balcony, looked over the lake, and that fine mountain range +that leads to the Splugen pass. A beautiful bouquet of fresh flowers +ornamented the centre of the small dinner-table, tastily decked with +Bohemian glass, and napkins with lace borders. I rather liked this +little display of elegance. It was a sort of ally on my side against +the utilitarian plainness of my guest. As I walked up and down the room, +awaiting his arrival, I could not help a sigh, and a very deep one too, +over the thought of what had been my enjoyment that moment if my guest +had been one of a different temperament,--a man willing to take me on +my own showing, and ready to accept any version I should like to give of +myself. How gracefully, how charmingly I could have played the host to +such a man! What vigor would it have imparted to my imagination, +what brilliancy to my fancy! With what a princely grace might I have +dispensed my hospitalities, as though such occasions were the daily +habit of my life; whereas a dinner with Harpar would be nothing more +or less than an airing with a "Slave in the chariot,"--a perpetual +reminder, like the face of a poor relation, that my lot was cast in an +humble sphere, and it was no use trying to disguise it. + +"What's all this for?" said Harpar's harsh voice, as he entered the +room. "Why did n't you order our mutton-chop below stairs in the common +room, and not a banquet in this fashion? You must be well aware I could +n't do this sort of thing by _you_. Why, then, have you attempted it +with _me?_" + +"I have always thought it was a host's prerogative," said I, meekly, "to +be the arbiter of his own entertainment." + +"So it might where he is the arbiter of his purse; but you know well +enough neither you nor I have any pretension to these costly ways, and +they have this disadvantage, that they make all intercourse stilted +and unnatural. If you and I had to sit down to table, dressed in court +suits, with wigs and bags, ain't it likely we'd be easy and cordial +together? Well, this is precisely the same." + +"I am really sorry," said I, with a forced appearance of courtesy, +"to have incurred so severe a lesson, but you must allow me this one +trangression before I begin to profit by it." And so saying, I rang the +bell and ordered dinner. + +Harpar made no reply, but walked the room, with his hands deep in his +pockets, humming a tune to himself as he went. + +At last we sat down to table; everything was excellent and admirably +served, but we ate on in silence, not a syllable exchanged between us. +As the dessert appeared, I tried to open conversation. I affected to +seem easy and unconcerned, but the cold half-stern look of my companion +repelled all attempts, and I sat very sad and much discouraged, sipping +my wine. + +"May I order some brandy-and-water? I like it better than these French +wines," asked he, abruptly; and as I arose to ring for it, he added, +"and you 'll not object to me having a pipe of strong Cavendish?" And +therewith he produced a leather bag and a very much smoked meerschaum, +short and ungainly as his own figure. As he thrust his hand into the +pouch, a small boat, about the size of a lady's thimble, rolled out from +amidst the tobacco; he quickly took it and placed it in his waistcoat +pocket,--the act being done with a sort of hurry that with a man of less +self-possession might have perhaps evinced confusion. + +"You fancy you 've seen something, don't you?" said he, with a defiant +laugh. "I 'd wager a five-pound note, if I had one, that you think at +this moment you have made a great discovery. Well, there it is, make +much of it!" + +As he spoke, he produced the little boat, and laid it down before me. I +own that this speech and the act convinced me that he was insane; I was +aware that intense suspectfulness is the great characteristic of +madness, and everything tended to show that he was deranged. + +Rather to conceal what was passing in my own mind than out of curiosity, +I took up the little toy to examine it. It was beautifully made, and +finished with a most perfect neatness; the only thing I could not +understand being four small holes on each side of the keel, fastened by +four little plugs. + +"What are these for?" asked I. + +"Can't you guess?" said he, laughingly. + +"No; I have never seen such before." + +"Well," said he, musingly, "perhaps they _are_ puzzling,--I suppose they +are. But mayhap, too, if I thought you 'd guess the meaning, I 'd not +have been so ready to show it to you." And with this he replaced the +boat in his pocket and smoked away. "You ain't a genius, my worthy +friend, that's a fact," said he, sententiously. + +"I opine that the same judgment might be passed upon a great many?" said +I, testily. + +"No," continued he, following on his own thoughts without heeding my +remark, "_you 'll_ not set the Thames a-fire." + +"Is that the best test of a man's ability?" asked I, sneeringly. + +"You're the sort of fellow that ought to be--let us see now what you +ought to be,--yes, you 're just the stamp of man for an apothecary." + +"You are so charming in your frankness," said I, "that you almost tempt +me to imitate you." + +"And why not? Sure we oughtn't to talk to each other like two devils in +waiting. Out with what you have to say!" + +"I was just thinking," said I,--"led to it by that speculative turn of +yours,--I was just thinking in what station _your_ abilities would have +pre-eminently distinguished you." + +"Well, have you hit it?" + +"I'm not quite certain," said I, trying to screw up my courage for an +impertinence, "but I half suspect that in our great national works--our +lines of railroad, for instance--there must be a strong infusion of men +with tastes and habits resembling yours." + +"You mean the navvies?" broke he in. "You 're right, I was a navvy once; +I turned the first spadeful of earth on the Coppleston Junction, and, +seeing what a good thing might be made of it, I suggested task-work to +my comrades, and we netted from four-and-six to five shillings a day +each. In eight months after, I was made an inspector; so that you see +strong sinews can be good allies to a strong head and a stout will." + +I do not believe that the most angry rebuke, the most sarcastic +rejoinder, could have covered me with a tenth part of the shame and +confusion that did these few words. I'd have given worlds, if I had +them, to make a due reparation for my rudeness, but I knew not how to +accomplish it I looked into his face to read if I might hit upon some +trait by which his nature could be approached; but I might as well have +gazed at a line of railroad to guess the sort of town that it led to. +The stern, rugged, bold countenance seemed to imply little else than +daring and determination, and I could not but wonder how I had ever +dared to take a liberty with one of his stamp. + +"Well," said I, at last, and wishing to lead him back to his story, "and +after being made inspector--" + +"You can speak German well," said he, totally inattentive to my +question; "just ask one of these people when there will be any +conveyance from this to Ragatz." + +"Ragatz, of all places!" exclaimed I. + +"Yes; they tell me it's good for the rheumatics, and I have got some +old shoulder pains I 'd like to shake off before winter. And then this +sprain, too; I foresee I shall not be able to walk much for some days to +come." + +"Ragatz is on my road; I am about to cross the Splugen into Italy; I'll +bear you company so far, if you have no objection." + +"Well, it may not seem civil to say it, but I have an objection," said +he, rising from the table. "When I've got weighty things on my mind, I +'ve a bad habit of talking of them to myself aloud. I can't help it, and +so I keep strictly alone till my plans are all fixed and settled; after +that, there's no danger of my revealing them to any one. There now, you +have my reason, and you 'll not dispute that it's a good one." + +"You may not be too distrustful of yourself," said I, laughing, +"but, assuredly, you are far too flattering in your estimate of _my_ +acuteness." + +"I'll not risk it," said he, bluntly, as he sought for his hat. + +"Wait a moment," said I. "You told me at Constance that you were in +want of money; at the time I was not exactly in funds myself. Yesterday, +however, I received a remittance; and if ten or twenty pounds be of any +service, they are heartily at your disposal." + +He looked at me fixedly, almost sternly, for a minute or two, and then +said,-- + +"Is this true, or is it that you have changed your mind about me?" + +"True," said I,--"strictly true." + +"Will this loan--I mean it to be a loan--inconvenience you much?" + +"No, no; I make you the offer freely." + +"I take it, then. Let me have ten pounds; and write down there an +address where I am to remit it some day or other, though I can't say +when." + +"There may be some difficulty about that," said I. "Stay. I mean to be +at Rome some time in the winter; send it to me there." + +"To what banker?" + +"I have no banker; I never had a banker. There's my name, and let the +post-office be the address." + +"Whichever way you 're bent on going, you 're not on the road to be a +rich man," said Harpar, as he deposited my gold in his leather purse; +"but I hope you 'll not lose by me. Good-bye." He gave me his hand, not +very warmly or cordially, either, and was gone ere I well knew it. + + + + +CHAPTER XXXVII. MY EXPLOSION AT THE TABLE D'HÔTE + +I went the next morning to take leave of Harpar before starting, but +found, to my astonishment, that he was already off! He had, I learned, +hired a small carriage to convey him to Bregenz, and had set out before +daybreak. I do not know why this should have annoyed me, but it did +so, and set me a-thinking over the people whom Echstein in his +"Erfahrungen," says, are born to be dupes. "There is," says he, "a +race of men who are 'eingeborne Narren,'--'native numskulls,' one might +say,--who muddy the streams of true benevolence by indiscriminating acts +of kindness, and who, by always aiding the wrongdoer, make themselves +accomplices of vice." Could it be that I was in this barren category? +Harpar had told me, the evening before, that he would not leave Lindau +till his sprain was better, and now he was off, just as if, having no +further occasion for me, he was glad to be rid of my companionship--just +as if--I was beginning again to start another conjecture, when I +bethought me that there is not a more deceptive formula in the whole +cyclopaedia of delusion than that which opens with these same words, +"just as if." Rely upon it, amiable reader, that whenever you find +yourself driven to explain a motive, trace a cause, or reconcile a +discrepancy, by "just as if," the chances are about seven to three you +are wrong. If I was not in the bustle of paying my bill and strapping +on my knapsack, I 'd convince you on this head; but, as the morning is a +bright but mellow one of early autumn, and my path lies along the placid +lake, waveless and still, with many a tinted tree reflected in its fair +mirror, let us not think of knaves and rogues, but rather dwell on +the pleasanter thought of all the good and grateful things which daily +befall us in this same life of ours. I am full certain that almost all +of us enter upon what is called the world in too combative a spirit We +are too fond of dragon slaying, and rather than be disappointed of +our sport, we 'd fall foul of a pet lamb, for want of a tiger. Call it +self-delusion, credulity, what you will, it is a faith that makes life +very livable, and, without it, + + "We feel a light has left the world, + A nameless sort of treasure, + As though one pluck'd the crimson heart + From out the rose of pleasure. + + I could forgive the fate that made + Me poor and young to-morrow, + To hare again the soul that played + So tenderly in sorrow, + + So buoyantly in happiness. + Ay, I would brook deceiving, + And even the deceiver bless, + Just to go on believing!" + +"Still," thought I, "one ought to maintain self-respect; one should not +willingly make himself a dupe." And then I began to wish that Vaterchen +had come up, and that Tinte-fleck was rushing towards me with tears +in her eyes, and my money-bag in her hands. I wanted to forget them. I +tried in a hundred ways to prevent them crossing my memory; but though +there is a most artful system of artificial "mnemonics" invented by some +one, the Lethal art has met no explorer, and no man has ever yet found +out the way to shut the door against bygones. I believe it is scarcely +more than five miles to Bregenz from Lindau, and yet I was almost +as many hours on the road. I sat down, perhaps twenty times, lost in +revery; indeed, I'm not very sure that I did n't take a sound sleep +under a spreading willow, so that, when I reached the inn, the +company was just going in to dinner at the _table d'hôte_. Simple +and unpretentious as that board was, the company that graced it was +certainly distinguished, being no less than the Austrian field-marshal +in command of the district, and the officers of his staff. To English +notions, it seemed very strange to see a nobleman of the highest rank, +in the proudest state of Europe, seated at a dinner-table open to all +comers, at a fraction less than one shilling a head, and where some of +the government officials of the place daily came. + +It was not without a certain sense of shame that I found myself in the +long low chamber, in which about twenty officers were assembled, whose +uniforms were all glittering with stars, medals, and crosses; in fact, +to a weak-minded civilian like myself, they gave the impression of +a group of heroes fresh come from all the triumphant glories of a +campaign. Between the staff, which occupied one end of the long table, +and the few townsfolk who sat at the other, there intervened a sort of +frontier territory uninhabited; and it was here that the waiter located +me,--an object of observation and remark to each. Resolving to learn how +I was treated by my critics, I addressed the waiter in the very worst +French, and protested my utter ignorance of German. I had promised +myself much amusement from this expedient, but was doomed to a severe +disappointment,--the officers coolly setting me down for a servant, +while the townspeople pronounced me a pedler; and when these judgments +had been recorded, instead of entering upon a psychological examination +of my nature, temperament, and individuality, they never noticed me any +more. I felt hurt at this, more, indeed, for their sakes than my own, +since I bethought me of the false impression that is current of this +people throughout Europe, where they have the reputation of philosophers +deeply engaged in researches into character, minute anatomists of human +thought and man's affections; "and yet," muttered I, "they can sit at +table with one of the most remarkable of men, and be as ignorant of +all about him as the husbandman who toils at his daily labor is of the +mineral treasures that lie buried down beneath him." + +"I will read them a lesson," thought I. "They shall see that in the +humble guise of foot-traveller it may be the pleasure of men of rank +and station to journey." The townsfolk, when the dessert made its +appearance, rose to take their departure, each before he left the room +making a profound obeisance to the general, and then another but less +lowly act of homage to the staff, showing by this that strangers were +expected to withdraw, while the military guests sat over their wine. +Indeed, a very significant look from the last person who left the room +conveyed to me the etiquette of the place. I was delighted at this,--it +was the very opportunity I longed for; and so, with a clink of my knife +against my wine-glass, the substitute for a bell in use amongst humble +hostels, I summoned the waiter, and asked for his list of wines. I saw +that my act had created some astonishment amongst the others, but it +excited nothing more, and now they had all lighted their pipes, and sat +smoking away quite regardless of my presence. I had ordered a flask of +Steinberger at four florins, and given most special directions that my +glass should have a "roped rim," and be of a tender green tint, but not +too deep to spoil the color of the wine. + +My admonitions were given aloud, and in a tone of command; but I +perceived that they failed to create any impression upon my moustached +neighbors. I might have ordered nectar or hypocras, for all that they +seemed to care about me. I raked up in memory all the impertinent and +insolent things Henri Heine had ever said of Austria; I bethought me how +they tyrannized in the various provinces of their scattered empire, and +how they were hated by Hun, Slavac, and Italian; I revelled in those +slashing leading articles that used to show up the great but bankrupt +bully, and I only wished I was "own correspondent" to something at home +to give my impressions of "Austria and her military system." + +Little as you think of that pale sad-looking stranger, who sits sipping +his wine in solitude at the foot of the table, he is about to transmit +yourselves and your country to a remote posterity. "Ay!" muttered I, "to +be remembered when the Danube will be a choked-up rivulet, and the park +of Schônbrunn a prairie for the buffalo." I am not exactly aware how +or why these changes were to have occurred, but Lord Macaulay's New +Zealander might have originated them. + +While I thus mused and brooded, the tramp of four horses came clattering +down the street, and soon after swept into the arched doorway of the inn +with a rolling and thunderous sound. + +"Here he comes; here he is at last! said a young officer, who had +rushed in haste to the window; and at the announcement a very palpable +sentiment of satisfaction seemed to spread itself through the company, +even to the grim old field-marshal, who took his pipe from his mouth to +say,-- + +"He is in time,--he saves 'arrest!'" + +As he spoke, a tall man in uniform entered the room, and walking with +military step till he came in front of the General, said, in a loud but +respectful voice,-- + +"I have the honor to report myself as returned to duty." + +The General replied something I could not catch, and then shook him +warmly by the hand, making room for him to sit down next him. + +"How far did your Royal Highness go? Not to Coire?" said the General. + +"Far beyond it, sir," said the other. "I went the whole way to the +Splügen, and if it were not for the terror of your displeasure, I 'd +have crossed the mountain and gone on to Chiavenna." + +The fact that I was listening to the narrative of a royal personage +was not the only bond of fascination to me, for somehow the tone of the +speaker's voice sounded familiarly to my ears, and I could have sworn +I had heard it before. As he was at the same side of the table with +myself, I could not see him; but while he continued to talk, the +impression grew each moment more strong that I must have met him +previously. + +I could gather--it was easy enough to do so--from the animated looks +of the party, and the repeated bursts of laughter that followed his +sallies, that the newly arrived officer was a wit and authority amongst +his comrades. His elevated rank, too, may have contributed to this +popularity. Must I own that he appeared in the character that to me is +particularly offensive? He was a "narrator." That vulgar adage of "two +of a trade" has a far wider acceptance when applied to the operations +of intellect than when addressed to the work of men's hands. To see this +jealousy at its height, you must look for it amongst men of letters, +artists, actors, or, better still, those social performers who are the +bright spirits of dinner-parties,--the charming men of society. All +the animosities of political or religious hate are mild compared to the +detestation this rivalry engenders; and now, though the audience was a +foreign one, which I could have no pretension to amuse, I conceived the +most bitter dislike for the man who had engaged their attention. + +I do not know how it may be with others, but to myself there has always +been this difficulty in a foreign language, that until I have accustomed +myself to the tone of voice and the manner of a speaker, I can rarely +follow him without occasional lapses. Now, on the present occasion, the +narrator., though speaking distinctly, and with a good accent, had a +very rapid utterance, and it was not till I had familiarized my ear +with his manner that I could gather his words correctly. Nor was my +difficulty lessened by the fact that, as he pretended to be witty and +epigrammatic, frequent bursts of laughter broke from his audience and +obscured his speech. He was, as it appeared, giving an account of a +fishing excursion he had just taken to one of the small mountain lakes +near Poppenheim, and it was clear enough he was one who always could eke +an adventure out of even the most ordinary incident of daily life. + +This fishing story had really nothing in it, though he strove to make +out fifty points of interest or striking situations out of the +veriest commonplace. At last, however, I saw that, like a practised +story-teller, he was hoarding up his great incident for the finish. + +"As I have told you," said he, "I engaged the entire of the little inn +for myself; there were but five rooms in it altogether, and though I +did not need more than two, I took the rest, that I might be alone and +unmolested. Well, it was on my second evening there, as I sat smoking my +pipe at the door, and looking over my tackle for the morrow, there came +up the glen the strange sound of wheels, and, to my astonishment, a +travelling-carriage soon appeared, with four horses driven in hand; and +as I saw in a moment, it was a _lohnkutscher_ who had taken the wrong +turning after leaving Ragatz, and mistaken the road, for the highway +ceases about two miles above Poppenheim, and dwindles down to a mere +mule-path. Leaving my host to explain the mistake to the travellers, +I hastily re-entered the house, just as the carriage drove up. The +explanation seemed a very prolix one, for when I looked out of the +window, half an hour afterwards, there were the horses still standing +at the door, and the driver, with a large branch of alder, whipping away +the flies from them, while the host continued to hold his place at the +carriage door. At last he entered my room, and said that the travellers, +two foreign ladies,--he thought them Russians,--had taken the wrong +road, but that the elder, what between fatigue and fear, was so overcome +that she could not proceed further, and entreated that they might be +afforded any accommodation--mere shelter for the night--rather than +retrace their road to Ragatz. + +"'Well,' said I, carelessly, 'let them have the rooms on the other side +of the hall; so that they only stop for one night, the intrusion will +not signify.' Not a very gracious reply, perhaps, but I did not want to +be gracious. The fact was, as the old lady got out, I saw something like +an elephant's leg, in a fur boot, that quite decided me on not making +acquaintance with the travellers, and I was rash enough to imagine +they must be both, alike. Indeed, I was do resolute in maintaining my +solitude undisturbed, that I told my host on no account whatever to make +me any communication from the strangers, nor on any pretext to let me +feel that they were lodged under the same roof with myself. Perhaps, +if the next day had been one to follow my usual sport, I should have +forgotten all about them, but it was one of such rain as made it +perfectly impossible to leave the house. I doubt if I ever saw rain +like it. It came down in sheets, like water splashed out of buckets, +flattening the small trees to the earth, and beating down all the light +foliage into the muddy soil beneath; meanwhile the air shook with the +noise of the swollen torrents, and all the mountain-streams crashed and +thundered away, like great cataracts. Rain can really become grand at +such moments, and no more resembling a mere shower than the cry of a +single brawler in the streets is like the roar of a mighty multitude. It +was so fine that I determined I would go down to a little wooden bridge +over the river, whence I could see the stream as it came down, tumbling +and splashing, from a cleft in the mountain. I soon dressed myself in +all my best waterproofs,--hat, cape, boots, and all,--and set out Until +I was fully embarked on my expedition, I had no notion of the severity +of the storm, and it was with considerable difficulty I could make +bead against the wind and rain together, while the slippery ground made +walking an actual labor. + +"At last I reached the river; but of the bridge, the only trace was a +single beam, which, deeply buried in the bank at one extremity, rose +and fell in the surging flood, like the arm of a drowning swimmer. +The stream had completely filled the channel, and swept along, with +fragments of timber, and even furniture, in its muddy tide; farm +produce, and implements too, came floating by, showing what destruction +had been effected higher up the river. As I stood gazing on the current, +I saw, at a little distance from me, a man, standing motionless beside +the river, and apparently lost in thought,--so, at least, he seemed; for +though not at all clad in a way to resist the storm, he remained there, +wet and soaked through, totally regardless of the weather. On +inquiring at the inn, I learned that this was the _lohnkutscher_--the +_vetturino_--of the travellers, and who, in attempting to ascertain if +the stream were fordable, had lost one of his best horses, and barely +escaped being carried away himself. Until that, I had forgotten all +about the strangers, who, it now appeared, were close prisoners like +myself. While the host was yet speaking, the _lohnkutscher_ came up, and +in a tone of equality, that showed me he thought I was in his own +line of business, asked if I would sell him one of my nags then in the +stable. + +"Not caring to disabuse him of his error regarding my rank, I did not +refuse him so flatly as I might, and he pressed the negotiation very +warmly in consequence. At last, to get rid of him, I declared that I +would not break up my team, and retired into the house. I was not many +minutes in my room, when a courier came, with a polite message from his +mistress, to beg I would speak with her. I went at once, and found an +old lady,--she was English, as her French bespoke,--very well mannered +and well bred, who apologized for troubling me; but having heard from +her _vetturino_ that my horses were disengaged, and that I might, if not +disposed to sell one of them, hire out the entire team, to take their +carriage as far as Andeer--By the time she got thus far, I perceived +that she, too, mistook me for a _lohnkutscher_. It just struck me what +good fun it would be to carry on the joke. To be sure, the lady herself +presented no inducement to the enterprise; and as I thus balanced the +case, there came into the room one of the prettiest girls I ever saw. +She never turned a look towards where I was standing, nor deigned to +notice me at all, but passed out of the room as rapidly as she entered; +still, I remembered that I had already seen her before, and passed a +delightful evening in her company at a little inn in the Black Forest." + +When the narrator had got thus far in his story, I leaned forward to +catch a full view of him, and saw, to my surprise, and, I own, to my +misery, that he was the German count we had met at the Titi-See. So +overwhelming was this discovery to me, that I heard nothing for many +minutes after. All of that wretched scene between us on the last evening +at the inn came full to my memory, and I bethought me of lying the whole +night on the hard table, fevered with rage and terror alternately. If +it were not that his narrative regarded Miss Herbert now, I would have +skulked out of the room, and out of the inn, and out of the town itself, +never again to come under the insolent stare of those wicked gray eyes; +but in that name there was a fascination,--not to say that a sense of +jealousy burned at my heart like a furnace. + +The turmoil of my thought lost me a great deal of his story, and might +have lost me more, had not the hearty laughter of his comrades recalled +me once again to attention. + +He was describing how, as a _vetturino_, he drove their carriage with +his own spanking gray horses to Coire, and thence to Andeer. He had +bargained, it seemed, that Miss Herbert should travel outside in the +cabriolet, but she failed to keep her pledge, so that they only met +at stray moments during the journey. It was in one of these she said +laughingly to him,-- + +"'Nothing would surprise me less than to learn, some fine morning, that +you were a prince in disguise, or a great count of the empire, at least. +It was only the other day we were honored with the incognito presence of +a royal personage; I do not exactly know who, but Mrs. Keats could tell +you. He left us abruptly at Schaffbausen.' + +"'You can't mean the creature,' said I, 'that I saw in your company at +the Titi-See?' + +"'The same,' said she, rather angrily. + +"'Why, he is a saltimbanque; I saw him the morning I came through +Constance, with some others of his troop dragged before the maire +for causing a disturbance in a cabaret; one of the most consummate +impostors, they told me, in Europe.'" + +"An infamous falsehood, and a base liar the man who says it!" cried I, +springing to my legs, and standing revealed before the company in an +attitude of haughty defiance. "I am the person you have dared to defame. +I have never assumed to be a prince, and as little am I a rope-dancer. +I am an English gentleman, travelling for his pleasure, and I hurl back +every word you have said of me with contempt and defiance." + +Before I had finished this insolent speech, some half-dozen swords were +drawn and brandished in the air, very eager, as it seemed, to cut me to +pieces, and the Count himself required all the united strength of the +party to save me from his hands. At last I was pushed, hustled, and +dragged out of the room to another smaller one on the same floor, and, +the key being turned on me, left to my very happy reflections. + + + + +CHAPTER XXXVIII. THE DUEL WITH PRINCE MAX. + +I had no writing-materials, but I had just composed a long letter to the +"Times" on "the outrageous treatment and false imprisonment of a British +subject in Austria," when my door was opened by a thin, lank-jawed, +fierce-eyed man in uniform, who announced himself as the Rittmeister von +Mahony, of the Keyser Hussars. + +"A countryman--an Irishman," said I, eagerly, clasping his hand with +warmth. + +"That is to say, two generations back," replied he; "my grandfather +Terence was a lieutenant in Trenck's Horse, but since that none of us +have ever been out of Austria." + +If these tidings fell coldly on my heart, just beginning to glow with +the ardor of home and country, I soon saw that it takes more than two +generations to wash out the Irishman from a man's nature. The honest +Rittmeister, with scarcely a word of English in his vocabulary, was as +hearty a countryman as if he had never journeyed out of the land of Bog. + +He had beard "all about it," he said, by way of arresting the eloquent +indignation that filled me; and he added, "And the more fool myself to +notice the matter;" asking me, quaintly, if I had never heard of our +native maxim that says, "One man ought never to fall upon forty." +"Well," said he, with a sigh, "what's done can't be undone; and let us +see what's to come next? I see you are a gentleman, and the worse luck +yours." + +"What do you mean by that?" asked I. + +"Just this: you'll have to fight; and if you were a 'Gemeiner'--a +plebeian--you'd get off." + +I turned away to the window to wipe a tear out of my eye; it had come +there without my knowing it, and, as I did so, I devoted myself to the +death of a hero. + +"Yes," said I, "_she_ is in this incident--she has her part in this +scene of my life's drama, and I will not disgrace her presence. I will +die like a man of honor rather than that her name should be disparaged." + +He went on to tell me of my opponent, who was brother to a reigning +sovereign, and himself a royal highness,--Prince Max of Swabia. "He was +not," he added, "by any means a bad fellow, though not reputed to be +perfectly sane on certain topics." However, as his eccentricities were +very harmless ones, merely offshoots of an exaggerated personal vanity, +it was supposed that some active service, and a little more intercourse +with the world, would cure him. "Not," added he, "that one can say he +has shown many signs of amendment up to this, for he never makes an +excursion of half-a-dozen days from home without coming back filled with +the resistless passion of some young queen or archduchess for him. As he +forgets these as fast as he imagines them, there is usually nothing to +lament on the subject. Now you are in possession of all that you need +know about _him_. Tell me something of yourself; and first, have you +served?" + +"Never." + +"Was your father a soldier, or your grandfather?" + +"Neither." + +"Have you any connections on the mother's side in the army?" + +"I am not aware of one." + +He gave a short, hasty cough, and walked the room twice with his hands +clasped at his back, and then, coming straight in front of me, said, +"And your name? What's your name?" + +"Potts! Potts!" said I, with a firm energy. + +"Potztausend!" cried he, with a grim laugh: "what a strange name!" + +"I said Potts, Herr Rittmeister, and not Potztausend," rejoined I, +haughtily. + +"And I heard you," said he; "it was involuntarily on my part to add the +termination. And who are the Pottses? Are they noble?" + +"Nothing of the kind,--respectable middle-class folk; some in trade, +some clerks in mercantile houses, some holding small government +employments, one, perhaps the chief of the family, an eminent +apothecary!" + +As if I had uttered the most irresistible joke, at this word he held his +hands over his face and shook with laughter. + +"Heilge Joseph!" cried he, at last, "this is too good! The Prince Max +going out with an apothecary's nephew, or, maybe, his son!" + +"His son upon this occasion," said I, gravely. + +He, did not reply for some minutes, and then, leaning over the back of a +chair, and regarding me very fixedly, he said,-- + +"You have only to say who you are, and what your belongings, and nothing +will come of this affair. In fact, what with your little knowledge of +German, your imperfect comprehension of what the Prince said, and your +own station in life, I'll engage to arrange everything and get you off +clear!" + +"In a word," said I, "I am to plead in _forma, inferioris_,--isn't that +it?" + +"Just so," said he, puffing out a long cloud from his pipe. + +"I 'd rather die first!" cried I, with an energy that actually startled +him. + +"Well," said he, after a pause, "I think it is very probable that will +come of it; but, if it be your choice, I have nothing to say." + +"Go back, Herr Rittmeister," cried I, "and arrange the meeting for the +very earliest moment." + +I said this with a strong purpose, for I felt if the event were to come +off at once I could behave well. + +"As you are resolved on this course," said he, "do not make any such +confidences to others as you have made to me; nothing about those +Pottses in haberdashery and dry goods, but just simply you are the high +and well-born Potts of Pottsheim. Not a word more." + +I bowed an assent, but so anxious was he to impress this upon me that he +went over it all once more. + +"As it will be for me to receive the Prince's message, the choice of +weapons will be yours. What are you most expert with? I mean, after the +pistol?" said he, grinning. + +"I am about equally skilled in all. Rapier, pistol, or sabre are all +alike to me." + +"_Der Teufel!_" cried he: "I was not counting upon this; and as the +sabre is the Prince's weakest arm, we 'll select it." + +I bowed again, and more blandly. + +"There is but one thing more," said he, turning about just as he was +leaving the room. "Don't forget that in this case the gross provocation +came from _you_ and, therefore, be satisfied with self-defence, or, at +most, a mere flesh wound. Remember that the Prince is a near connection +of the Royal Family of England, and it would be irreparable ruin to you +were he to fall by your hand." And with this he went out. + +Now, had he gravely bound me over not to strangle the lions in the +Tower, it could not have appeared more ridiculous to me than this +injunction, and if there had been in my heart the smallest fund of +humor, I could have laughed at it; but, Heaven knows, none of my +impulses took a mirthful turn at that moment, and there never was +invented the drollery that could wring a smile from me. + +I was sitting in a sort of stupor--I know not how long--when the door +opened, and the Rittmeister's head peered in. + +"To-morrow morning at five!" cried he. "I will fetch you half an hour +before." The door closed, and he was off. + +It was now a few minutes past eight o'clock, and there were, therefore, +something short of nine hours of life left to me. I have heard that +Victor Hugo is an amiable and kindly disposed man, and I feel assured, +if he ever could have known the tortures he would have inflicted, he +would never have designed the terrible record entitled "Le Dernier Jour +d'un Condamné." I conclude it was designed as a sort of appeal against +death punishments. I doubt much of its efficacy in altering legislation, +while I feel assured, that if ever it fall in the way of one whose hours +are numbered, it must add indescribably to his misery. + +When, how, or by whom my supper was served, I never knew. I can only +remember that a very sleepy waiter roused me out of a half-drowsy revery +about midnight, by asking if he were to remove the dishes, or let them +remain till morning. I bade him leave them, and me also, and when the +door was closed I sat down to my meal. It was cold and unappetizing. I +would have deemed it unwholesome, too, but I remembered that the poor +stomach it was destined for would never be called on to digest it, and +that for once I might transgress without the fear of dyspepsia. My case +was precisely that of the purseless traveller, who, we are told, can +sing before the robber, just as if want ever suggested melody, or that +being poor was a reason for song. So with me any excess was open to me +just because it was impossible! + +"Still," thought I, "great criminals--and surely I am not as bad as +they--eat very heartily." And so I cut the tough fowl vigorously in two, +and placed half of it on my plate. I filled myself out a whole goblet of +wine, and drank it off. I repeated this, and felt better. I fell to now +with a will, and really made an excellent supper. There were some potted +sardines that I secretly resolved to have for my breakfast, when the +sudden thought flashed across me that I was never to breakfast any more. +I verily believe that I tasted in that one instant a whole life long of +agony and bitterness. + +There was in my friendless, lone condition, my youth, the mild and +gentle traits of my nature, and my guileless simplicity, just that +combination of circumstances which would make my fate peculiarly +pathetic, and I imagined my countrymen standing beside the gravestone +and muttering "Poor Potts!" till I felt my heart almost bursting with +sorrow over myself. + +"Cut off at three-and-twenty!" sobbed I; "in the very opening bud of his +promise!" + +"Misfortune is a pebble with many facets," says the Chinese adage, "and +wise is he who turns it around till he find the smooth one." + +"Is there such here?" thought I. "And where can it be?" With all my +ingenuity I could not discover it, when at last there crossed my mind +how the event would figure in the daily papers, and be handed down to +remote posterity. I imagined the combat itself described in the language +almost of a lion-hunt "Potts, who had never till that moment had a sword +in his hand,--Potts, though at this time severely wounded, and +bleeding profusely, nothing dismayed by the ferocious attack of his +opponent,--Potts maintained his guard with all the coolness of a +consummate swordsman." How I wished my life might be spared just to let +me write the narrative of the combat I would like, besides, to show the +world how generously I could treat an adversary, with what delicacy I +could respect his motives, and how nobly deal even with his injustice. + +"Was that two o'clock?" said I, starting up, while the humming sound of +the gong bell filled the room. "Is it possible that but three hours now +stand between me and--" I gave a shudder that made me feel as if I was +standing in a fearful thorough draught, and actually looked up to see if +the window were not open; but no, it was closed, the night calm, and the +sky full of stars. "Oh!" exclaimed I, "if there are Pottses up amongst +you yonder, I hope destiny may deal more kindly by them than down here. +I trust that in those glorious regions a higher and purer intelligence +prevails, and, above all things, that duelling is proclaimed the +greatest of crimes." Remnant of barbarism! it is worse ten thousand +times; it is the whole suit, costume, and investure of an uncivilized +age. "Poor Potts!" said I; "you went out upon your life-voyage with very +generous intentions towards posterity. I wonder how it will treat +_you?_ Will it vindicate your memory, uphold your fame, and dignify your +motives? Will it be said in history, 'Amongst the memorable events of +the period was the duel between the Prince Max of Swabia and an Irish +gentleman named Potts. To understand fully the circumstance of this +remarkable conflict, it is necessary to premise that Potts was not what +is vulgarly called constitutionally brave; but he was more. He was--'? +Ah! there was the puzzle. How was that miserable biographer ever to +arrive at the secret of an organization fine and subtle as mine? If I +could but leave it on record--if I could but transmit to the ages that +will come after me the invaluable key to the mystery of my being--a few +days would suffice--a week certainly would do it--and why should I +not have time given me for this? I will certainly propose this to the +Rittmeister when he comes. There can be little doubt but he will see +the matter with my own eyes." + +As if I had summoned him by enchantment, there he stood at the door, +wrapped in his great white cavalry cloak, and looking gigantic and +ominous together. + +"There is no carriage-road," said he, "to the place we are going, and I +have come thus early that we may stroll along leisurely, and enjoy the +fresh air of the morning." + +Until that moment I had never believed how heartless human nature could +be! To talk of enjoyment, to recall the world and its pleasures, in any +way, to one situated like I, was a bold and scarcely credible cruelty; +but the words did me good service; they armed me with a sardonic +contempt for life and mankind; and so I protested that I was charmed +with the project, and out we set. + +My companion was not talkative; he was a quiet, almost depressed man, +who had led a very monotonous existence, with little society among his +comrades; so that he did not offer me the occasion I sought for, of +saying saucy and sneering things of the world at large. Indeed, the +first observation he made was, that we were in a locality that ought +to be interesting to Irishmen, since an ancient shrine of St. Patrick +marked the spot of the convent to which we were approaching. No remark +could have been more ill-timed! to look back into the past, one ought to +have some vista of the future. Who can sympathize with bygones when he +is counting the minutes that are to make him one of them? + +What a bore that old Rittmeister was with his antiquities, and how I +hated him as he said, "If your time was not so limited I 'd have taken +you over to St. Gallen to inspect the manuscripts." I felt choking as he +uttered these words. How was my time so limited? I did not dare to ask. +Was he barbarous enough to mean that if I had another day to live I +might have passed it pleasantly in turning over musty missals in a +monastery? + +At last we came to a halt in a little grove of pines, and he said, "Have +you any address to give me of friends or relatives, or have you any +peculiar directions on any subject?" + +"You made a remark last night, Herr Rittmeister," said I, "which did not +at the moment produce the profound impression upon me that subsequent +reflection has enforced. You said that if his Royal Highness were +fully aware that his antagonist was the son of a practising chemist and +apothecary--" + +"That I could have, put off this event; true enough, but when you +refused that alternative, and insisted on satisfaction, I myself, as +your countryman, gave the guarantee for your rank, which nothing now +will make me retract Understand me well,--nothing will make me retract." + +"You are pleased to be precipitate," said I, with an attempt to sneer; +"my remark had but one object, and that was my personal disinclination +to obtain a meeting under a false pretext." + +"Make your mind easy on that score. It will be all precisely the same in +about an hour hence." + +I nearly fainted as I heard this; it seemed as though a cold stream of +water ran through my spine and paralyzed the very marrow inside. + +"You have your choice of weapons," said he, curtly; "which are you best +at?" + +I was going to say the "javelin," but I was ashamed; and yet should +a man sacrifice life for a false modesty? While I reasoned thus, he +pointed to a group of officers close to the garden wall of the convent, +and said,-- + +"They are all waiting yonder; let us hasten on." + +If I had been mortally wounded, and was dragging my feeble limbs along +to rest them forever on some particular spot, I might have, probably, +effected my progress as easily as I now did. The slightest inequality of +ground tripped me, and I stumbled at every step. + +"You are cold," said my companion, "and probably unused to early +rising,--taste this." + +He gave me his brandy-flask, and I finished it off at a draught. +Blessings be on the man who invented alcohol! + +All the ethics that ever were written cannot work the same miracle in +a man's nature as a glass of whiskey. Talk of all the wonders of +chemistry, and what are they to the simple fact that twopennyworth of +cognac can convert a coward into a hero? + +I was not quite sure that my antagonist had not resorted to a similar +sort of aid, for he seemed as light-hearted and as jolly as though he +was out for a picnic. There was a jauntiness, too, in the way he took +out his cigar, and scraped his lucifer-match on a beech-tree, that quite +struck me, and I should like to have imitated it if I could. + +"If it's the same to you, take the sabre, it's his weakest weapon," +whispered the Rittmeister in my ear; and I agreed. And now there was +a sort of commotion about the choice of the ground and the places, in +which my friend seemed to stand by me most manfully. Then there followed +a general measurement of swords, and a fierce comparison of weapons. +I don't know how many were not thrust into my hand, one saying, "Take +this, it is well balanced in the wrist; or if you like a heavy guard, +here's your arm!" + +"To me, it is a matter of perfect indifference," said I, jauntily. "All +weapons are alike." + +"He will attack fiercely, and the moment the word is given," whispered +the Rittmeister, "so be on your guard; keep your hilt full before you, +or he 'll slice off your nose before you are aware of it." + +"Be not so sure of that till you have seen my sword play," said I, +fiercely; and my heart swelled with a fierce sentiment that must have +been courage, for I never remember to have felt the like before. I know +I was brave at that moment, for if, by one word, I could have averted +the combat, I would not have uttered it. + +"To your places," cried the umpire, "and on your guard! Are you ready?" + +"Ready!" re-echoed I, wildly, while I gave a mad flourish of my weapon +round my head that threw the whole company into a roar of laughter; and, +at the same instant, two figures, screaming fearfully, rushed from the +beech copse, and, bursting their way through the crowd, fell upon +me with the most frantic embraces, amidst the louder laughter of the +others. O shame and ineffable disgrace! O misery never to be forgotten! +It was Vaterchen who now grasped my knees, and Tintefleck who clung +round my neck and kissed me repeatedly. From the time of the Laocoon, +no one ever struggled to free himself as I did, but all in vain; my +efforts, impeded by the sword, lest I might unwillingly wound them, were +all fruitless, and we rolled upon the ground inextricably commingled and +struggling. + +"Was I right?" cried the Prince. "Was I right in calling this fellow a +saltimbanque? See him now with his comrades around him, and say if I was +mistaken." + +"How is this?" whispered the Rittmeister. "Have you dared to deceive +_me?_" + +"I have deceived no one," said I, trying to rise; and I poured forth +a torrent of not very coherent eloquence, as the mirth of my audience +seemed to imply; but, fortunately, Vaterchen had now obtained a hearing, +and was detailing in very fluent language the nature of the relations +between us. Poor old fellow, in his boundless gratitude I seemed more +than human; and his praises actually shamed me to hear them. How I had +first met them, he recounted in the strain of one assisted by the gods +in classic times; his description made me a sort of Jove coming down on +a rosy cloud to succor suffering humanity; and then came in Tintefleck +with her broken words, marvellously aided by "action," as she poured +forth the heap of gold upon the grass, and said it was all mine! + +Wonderful metal, to be sure, for enforcing conviction on the mind of +man; there is a sincerity about it far more impressive than any vocal +persuasion. The very clink of it implies that the real and the positive +are in question, not the imaginary and the delusive. "This is all +his!" cried she, pointing to the treasure with the air of one showing +Aladdin's cave; and though her speech was not very intelligible, +Vaterchen's "vulgate" ran underneath and explained the text. + +"I hope you will forgive me. I trust you will be satisfied with my +apologies, made thus openly," said the Prince, in the most courteous +of manners. "One who can behave with such magnanimity can scarcely be +wanting in another species of generosity." And ere I could well reply, +I found myself shaking hands with every one, and every one with me; +nor was the least pleasurable part of this recognition the satisfaction +displayed by the Rittmeister at the good issue of this event. I had +great difficulty in resisting their resolution to carry me back with +them to Bregenz. Innumerable were the plans and projects devised for +my entertainment. Field sports, sham fights, rifle-shooting, all were +displayed attractively before me; and it was clear that, if I accepted +their invitations, I should be treated like the most favored guest. But +I was firm in my refusal; and, pleading a pretended necessity to be at +a particular place by a particular day, I started once more, taking the +road with the "vagabonds," who now seemed bound to me by an indissoluble +bond; at least, so Vaterchen assured me by the most emphatic of +declarations, and that, do with him what I might, he was my slave till +death. + +"Who is ever completely happy?" says the sage; and with too good +reason is the doubt expressed. Here, one might suppose, was a situation +abounding with the most pleasurable incidents. To have escaped a duel, +and come out with honor and credit from the issue; to have re-found not +only my missing money, but to have my suspicions relieved as to those +whose honest name was dear to me, and whose discredit would have +darkened many a bright hope of life,--these were no small successes; and +yet--I shame to own it--my delight in them was dashed by an incident so +small and insignificant that I have scarce courage to recall it. Here +it is, however: While I was taking a kindly farewell of my military +friends, hand-shaking and protesting interminable friendships, I saw, or +thought I saw, the Prince, with even a more affectionate warmth, making +his adieus to Tintefleck! If he had not his arm actually round her +waist, there was certainly a white leather cavalry glove curiously +attached to her side, and one of her cheeks was deeper colored than the +other, and her bearing and manner seemed confused so that she answered, +when spoken to, at cross-purposes. + +"How did you come by this brooch, Tintefleck? I never saw it before." + +"Oh, is it not pretty? It is a violet; and these leaves, though green, +are all gold." + +"Answer me, girl! who gave it thee?" said I, in the voice of Othello. + +"Must I tell?" murmured she, sorrowfully. + +"On the spot,--confess it!" + +"It was one who bade me keep it till he should bring me a prettier one." + +"I do not care for what he said, or what you promised. I want his +name.'* + +"And that I was never to forget him till then,--never." + +"Do you say this to irritate and offend me, or do you prevaricate out of +shame?" said, I angrily. + +"Shame!" repeated she, haughtily. + +"Ay, shame or fear." + +"Or fear! Fear of what, or of whom?" + +"You are very daring to ask me. And now, for the last time, +Tintefleck,--for the last time, I say, who gave you this?" + +As I said these words we had just reached the borders of a little +rivulet, over which we were to cross by stepping-stones. Vaterchen was, +as usual, some distance behind, and now calling to us to wait for him. +She turned at his cry, and answered him, but made no reply to me. + +This continued defiance of me overcame my temper altogether, sorely +pushed as it was by a stupid jealousy, and, seizing her wrist with a +strong grasp, I said, in a slow, measured tone, "I insist upon your +answer to my question, or--" + +"Or what?" + +"That we part here, and forever." + +"With all my heart. Only remember one thing," said she, in a low, +whispering voice: "you left me once before,--you quitted me, in a moment +of temper, just as you threaten it now. Go, if you will, or if you must; +but let this be our last meeting and last parting." + +"It is as such I mean it,--good-bye!" I sprang on the stepping-stone as +I spoke, and at the same instant a glittering object splashed into the +stream close to me. I saw it, just as one might see the lustre of a +trout's back as it rose to a fly. I don't know what demon sat where my +heart ought to have been, but I pressed my hat over my eyes, and went on +without turning my head. + + + + +CHAPTER XXXIX. ON THE EDGE OF A TORRENT + +Very conflicting and very mixed were my feelings, as I set forth alone. +I had come well, very well, out of a trying emergency. I was neither +driven to pretend I was something other than myself, with grand +surroundings, and illustrious belongings, nor had I masqueraded under +a feigned name and a false history; but as Potts, son of Potts the +apothecary, I had carried my head high and borne myself creditably. + +_Magna est Veritas_, indeed! I am not so sure of the _prævalebit +semper_, but, assuredly, where it does succeed, the success is +wonderful. + +Heaven knows into what tortuous entanglements might my passion for the +"imaginative"--I liked this name for it--have led me, had I given way to +one of my usual temptations. In more than one of my flights have I found +myself carried up into a region, and have had to sustain an atmosphere +very unsuited to my respiration, and now, with the mere prudence of +walking on the _terra firma_, and treading the common highway of life, +I found I had reached my goal safely and speedily. Flowers do not assume +to be shrubs, nor shrubs affect to be forest trees; the limestone and +granite never pretend that they are porphyry and onyx. Nature is real, +and why should man alone be untruthful and unreal? If I liked these +reflections, and tried to lose myself in them, it was in the hope of +shutting out others less gratifying; but, do what I would, there, before +me, arose the image of Catinka, as she stood at the edge of the rivulet, +that stream which seemed to cut me off from one portion of my life, and +make the past irrevocably gone forever. + +I am certain I was quite right in parting with that girl. Any +respectable man, a father of a family, would have applauded me for +severing this dangerous connection. What could come of such association +except unhappiness? "Potts," would the biographer say,--"Potts saw, with +the unerring instinct of his quick perception, that this young creature +would one day or other have laid at his feet the burnt-offering of her +heart, and then, what could he have done? If Potts had been less endowed +with genius, or less armed in honesty, he had not anticipated this +peril, or, foreseeing, bad undervalued it. But he both saw and feared +it. How very differently had a libertine reasoned out this situation!" +And then I thought how wicked I might have been,--a monster of crime +and atrocity. Every one knows the sensation of lying snugly a-bed on a +stormy night, and, as the rain plashes and the wind howls, drawing more +closely around him the coverlet, and the selfish satisfaction of his own +comfort, heightened by all the possible hardships of others outside. In +the same benevolent spirit, but not by any means so reprehensible, is it +pleasant to imagine oneself a great criminal, standing in the dock, to +be stared at by a horror-struck public, photographed, shaved, prison +costumed, exhorted, sentenced, and tien, just as the last hammer has +driven the last nail into the scaffold, and the great bell has tolled +out, to find that you are sitting by your wood fire, with your curtain +drawn, your uncut volume beside you, and your peculiar weakness, be it +tea, or sherry-cobbler, at your elbow. I constantly take a "rise" out +of myself in this fashion, and rarely a week goes over that I have not +either poisoned a sister or had a shot at the Queen. It is a sort +of intellectual Russian bath, in which the luxury consists in the +exaggerated alternative between being scalded first and rolled in the +snow afterwards. It was in this figurative snow I was now disporting +myself, pleasantly and refreshingly, and yet remorse, like a sturdy dun, +stood at my gate, and refused to go away. + +Had I, indeed, treated her harshly,--had I rejected the offer of her +young and innocent heart? Very puzzling and embarrassing question this, +and especially to a man who had nothing of the coxcomb in his nature, +none of that prompting of self-love that would suggest a vain reply. +I felt that it was very natural _she_ should have been struck by the +attractive features of my character, but I felt this without a particle +of conceit. I even experienced a sense of sorrow as I thought over +it, just as a conscientious siren might have regretted that nature had +endowed her with such a charming voice; and this duty--for it was a +duty--discharged, I bethought me of my own future. I had a mission, +which was to see Kate Herbert and give her Miss Crofton's letter. In +doing so, I must needs throw off all disguises and mockeries, and be +Potts, the very creature she sneered at, the man whose mere name was +enough to suggest a vulgar life and a snob's nature! No matter +what misery it may give, I will do it manfully. _She_ may never +appreciate--the world at large may never appreciate--what noble motives +were hidden beneath these assumed natures, mere costumes as they were, +to impart more vigor and persuasiveness to sentiments which, uttered in +the undress of Potts, would have carried no convictions with them. Play +Macbeth in a paletot, perform Othello in "pegtops," and see what effect +you will produce! Well, my pretended station and rank were the mere +gauds and properties that gave force to my opinions. And now to +relinquish these, and be the actor, in the garish light of the noonday, +and a shabby-genteel coat and hat! "I will do it," muttered I,--"I will +do it, but the suffering will be intense!" When the prisoner sentenced +to a long captivity is no more addressed by his name, but simply called +No. 18, or 43, it is said that the shock seems to kill the sense of +identity with him, and that nothing more tends to that stolid air of +indifference, that hopeless inactivity of feature, so characteristic +of a prison life; in the very same way am I affected when limited to my +Potts nature, and condemned to confine myself within the narrow bounds +of that one small identity. From what Prince Max has said at the _table +d'hôte_ at Bregenz, it was clear that Mrs. Keats had already learned +I was not the young prince of the House of Orleans; but, in being +disabused of one error, she seemed to have fallen into another; and +it behoved me to explain that I was not a rope-dancer or a mountebank. +"She, too, shall know me in my Potts nature," said I; "she also shall +recognize me in the 'majesty of myself.'" I was not very sure of what +that was, but found it in Hegel. + +And when I have completed this task, I will throw myself like a waif +upon the waters of life. I will be that which the moment or the event +shall make me,--neither trammelled by the past nor awed by the future. +I will take the world as the drama of a day. Were men to do this, what +breadth and generosity would it impart to them! It is in self-seeking +and advancement that we narrow our faculties and imprison our natures. +A man fancies he owns a palace and a demesne, but it is the palace that +owns _him_, obliges him to maintain a certain state, live in a certain +style, surrounded with certain observances, not one of which may be, +perhaps, native to him. It is the poor man, who comes to visit and gaze +on his splendors, who really enjoys them; _he_ sees them without one +detracting influence,--not to say that in _his_ heart are no corroding +jealousies of some other rich man, who has a finer Claude, or a grander +Rubens. Instead, besides, of owning one palace and one garden, it is the +universe he owns: the vast savannah is his race-ground; Niagara his +own private cascade. My heart bounded with these buoyant fancies, and I +stepped out briskly on my road. Now that I had made this vow of poverty +to myself, I felt very light-hearted and gay. So long as a man is +struggling for place and pre-eminence in life, how can he be generous, +how even gracious? "Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's ox," says the +commandment, but surely it must have been your neighbor's before it +was yours, and if you have striven for it, it is likely that you have +coveted it. Now, I will covet nothing,--positively nothing,--and I will +see if in this noble spirit there will not be a reward proportionately +ample and splendid. + +My road led through that wild and somewhat dreary valley by which the +Upper Rhine descends, fed by many an Alpine stream and torrent, to reach +the fertile plains of Germany. It was a desolate expanse of shingle, +with here and there little patches of oak scrub, or, at rare intervals, +small enclosures of tillage, though how tilled, or for whom, it was hard +to say, since not a trace of inhabitant could be seen, far or wide. Deep +fissures, the course of many a mountain stream, cut the road at places, +and through these the foot traveller had to pass on stepping-stones; +while wheel carriages, descending into the chaos of rocks and stones, +fared even worse, and incurred serious peril to spring and axle in the +passage. On the mountain-sides, indeed, some chalets were to be seen, +very high up, and scarcely accessible, but ever surrounded with little +tracts of greener verdure and more varied foliage. From these +heights, too, I could hear the melodious ring of the bells worn by the +cattle,--sure signs of peasant comfort. "Might not a man find a life of +simple cares and few sorrows, up yonder?" asked I, as I gazed upward. +While I continued to look, the great floating clouds that soared on +the mountain-top began to mass and to mingle together, thickening and +darkening at every moment, and then, as though overweighted, slowly to +descend, shutting out chalet and shady copse and crag, as they fell, on +their way to the plain beneath. It was a grievous change from the bright +picture a few moments back, and not the less disheartening, that the +heavily charged mist now melted into rain, that soon fell in torrents. +With not a rock nor a shrub to shelter under, I had nothing for it but +to trudge onward to the nearest village, wherever that might be. How +speedily the slightest touch of the real will chase away the fictitious +and imaginary! No more dreams nor fancies now, as wet and soaked I +plodded on, my knapsack seeming double its true weight, and my stick +appearing to take root each time it struck the ground. The fog, too, was +so dense that I was forced to feel my way as I went. The dull roar +of the Rhine was the only sound for a long time; but this, at length, +became broken by the crashing noise of timber carried down by the +torrents, and the louder din of the torrents themselves as they came +tumbling down the mountain. I would have retraced my steps to Bregenz, +but that I knew the places I had passed dryshod in the morning would by +this time have become impassable rivers. My situation was a dreary +one, and not without peril, since there was no saying when or where +a mountain cataract might not burst its way down the cliffs and sweep +clean across the road towards the Rhine. + +Had there been one spot to offer shelter, even the poorest and meanest, +I would gladly have taken it, and made up my mind to await better +weather; but there was not a bank, nor even a bush to cower under, and I +was forced to trudge on. It seemed to me, at last, that I must have +been walking many hours; but having no watch, and being surrounded with +impenetrable fog, I could make no guess of the time, when, at length, a +louder and deeper sound appeared to fill the air, and make the very +mist vibrate with its din. The surging sound of a great volume of water, +sweeping along through rocks and fallen trees, apprised me that I was +nearing a torrent; while the road itself, covered with some inches of +water, showed that the stream had already risen above its embankments. +There was real danger in this; light carriages--the great lumbering +diligence itself--had been known to be carried away by these suddenly +swollen streams, and I began seriously to fear disaster. Wading +cautiously onward, I reached what I judged to be the edge of the +torrent, and felt with my stick that the water was here borne madly +onward, and at considerable depth. Though through the fog I could make +out the opposite bank, and see that the stream was not a wide one, I +plainly perceived that the current was far too powerful for me to breast +without assistance, and that no single passenger could attempt it +with safety. I may have stood half an hour thus, with the muddy stream +surging over my ankles, for I was stunned and stupefied by the danger, +when I thought I saw through the mist two gigantic figures looming +through the fog, on the opposite bank. When and how they had come there, +I knew not, if they were indeed there, and if these figures were not +mere spectres of my imagination. It was not till having closed my eyes, +and opening them again, I beheld the same objects, that I could fully +assure myself of their reality. + + + + +CHAPTER XL. I AM DRAGGED AS A PRISONER TO FELDKIRCH + +The two great figures I had seen looming through the fog while standing +in the stream, I at last made out to be two horsemen, who seemed in +search of some safe and fordable part of the stream to cross over. Their +apparent caution was a lesson by which I determined to profit, and I +stood a patient observer of their proceedings. At times I could catch +their voices, but without distinguishing what they said, and suddenly I +heard a plunge, and saw that one had dashed boldly into the flood, and +was quickly followed by the other. If the stream did not reach to +their knees, as they sat, it was yet so powerful that it tested all the +strength of the horses and all the skill of the riders to stem it; +and as the water splashed and surged, and as the animals plunged and +struggled, I scarcely knew whether they were fated to reach the bank, or +be carried down in the current. As they gained about the middle of the +stream, I saw that they were mounted gendarmes, heavy men with heavy +equipments, favorable enough to stem the tide, but hopelessly incapable +to save themselves if overturned. "Go back,--hold in,--go back! the +water is far deeper here!" I cried out at the top of my voice; but +either not hearing, or not heeding my warning, on they came, and, as I +spoke, one plunged forward and went headlong down under the water, +but, rising immediately, his horse struck boldly out, and, after a few +struggles, gained the bank. The other, more fortunate, had headed up the +stream, and reached the shore without difficulty. + +With the natural prompting of a man towards those who had just overcome +a great peril, I hastened to say how glad I felt at their safety, +and from what intense fear their landing had rescued me; when one, +a corporal, as his cuff bespoke, muttered a coarse exclamation of +impatience, and something like a malediction on the service that exposed +men to such hazards, and at the same instant the other dashed boldly up +the bank, and with a bound placed his horse at my side, as though to cut +off my retreat. + +"Who are you?" cried the corporal to me, in a stern voice. + +"A traveller," said I, trying to look majestic and indignant. + +"So I see; and of what nation?" + +"Of that nation which no man insults with impunity." + +"Russia?" + +"No; certainly not,--England." + +"Whence from last?" + +"From Bregenz." + +"And from Constance by Lindau?" asked he quickly, as he read from a slip +of paper he had Just drawn from his belt. + +I assented, but not without certain misgivings, as I saw so much was +known as to my movements. + +"Now for your passport. Let me see it," said the corporal again. +"Just so," said he, folding it up. "Travelling on foot, and marked +'suspected.'" + +Though he muttered these words to his companion, I perceived that he +cared very little for my having overheard them. + +"Suspected of what, or by whom?" asked I, angrily. + +Instead of paying any attention to my question, the two men now +conversed together in a low tone and confidentially. + +"Come," said I, with an assumed boldness, "if you have quite done with +that passport of mine, give it to me, and let me pursue my journey." + +So eager were they in their own converse, that this speech, too, was +unheeded; and now, grown rasher by impunity and impatience, I stepped +stoutly forward, and attempted to take the passport from the soldier's +hand. + +"Sturm und Gewitter!" swore out the fellow, while he struck me sharply +on the wrist, "do you mean to try force with us?" And the other drew his +sabre, and, flourishing it over his head, held the point of it within a +few inches of my chest. + +I cannot imagine whence came the courage that now filled my heart, for +I know I am not naturally brave, but I felt for an instant that I could +have stormed a breach; and, with an insulting laugh, I said, "Oh, of +course, cut me down. I am unarmed and defenceless. It is an admirable +opportunity for the display of Austrian chivalry." + +"Bey'm Henker! It's very hard not to slice off his ear," said the +soldier, seeming to ask leave for this act of valor. + +"Get out your cords," said the corporal; "we 're losing too much time +here." + +"Am I a prisoner, then?" asked I, in some trepidation. + +"L suspect you are, and likely to be for some time to come," was the +gruff answer. + +"On what charge--what is alleged against me?" cried I, passionately. + +"What has sent many a better-looking fellow to Spielberg," was the +haughty rejoinder. + +"If I _am_ your prisoner," said I, haughtily,--"and I warn you at +once of your peril in daring to arrest a British subject travelling +peacefully--You are not going to tie my hands! You are not going to +treat me as a felon?" I screamed out these words in a voice of wildest +passion, as the soldier, who had dismounted for the purpose, was now +proceeding to tie my wrists together with a stout cord, and in a manner +that displayed very little concern for the pain he occasioned me. + +As escape was totally out of the question, I threw myself upon the last +resource of the injured. I fell back upon eloquence. I really wish I +could remember even faintly the outline of my discourse; for though +not by any means a fluent German, the indignation that makes men poets +converted me into a greater master of prose, and I told them a vast +number of curious, but not complimentary, traits of the land they +belonged to. I gave, too, a rapid historical sketch of their campaigns +against the French, showing how they were always beaten, the only +novelty being whether they ran away or capitulated. I reminded them +that the victory over _me_ would resound through Europe, being the +only successful achievement of their arms for the last half-century. I +expressed a fervent hope that the corporal would be decorated with the +"Maria Theresa," and his companion obtain the "valor medal," for what +they had done. Pensions, I hinted, were difficult in the present state +of their finances, but rank and honor certainly ought to await them. +I don't know at what exact period of my peroration it was that I was +literally "pulled up," each of the horsemen holding a line fastened to +my wrists, and giving me a drag forward that nearly carried me off my +feet, and flat on my face. I stumbled, but recovered myself; and now saw +that, bound as I was, with a gendarme on each side of me, it required +all the activity I could muster, to keep my legs. + +Another whispered conversation here took place across me, and I thought +I heard the words Bregenz and Feldkirch interchanged, giving me to +surmise that they were discussing to which place they should repair. +My faint hope of returning to the former town was, however, soon +extinguished, as the corporal, turning to me, said, "Our orders are to +bring you alive to headquarters. We 'll do our best; but if, in crossing +these torrents, you prefer to be drowned, it's no fault of ours." + +"Do you mean by that," cried I, "that I am to be dragged through the +water in this fashion?" + +"I mean that you are to come along as best you may." + +"It is all worthy of you, quite worthy!" screamed I, in a voice of +wildest rage. "You reserve all your bravery for those who cannot resist +you,--and you are right, for they are your only successes. The Turks +beat you"--here they chucked me close up, and dashed into the stream. +"The Prussians beat you!" I was now up to my waist in water. "The Swiss +beat you!" Down I went over head and ears. "The French always--thrashed +you"--down again--"at Ulm--Auster--litz--Aspern"--nearly suffocated, +I yelled out, "Wagrara!"--and down I went, never to know any further +consciousness till I felt myself lying on the soaked and muddy road, +and heard a gruff voice saying, "Come along--we don't intend to pass the +night here!" + + + + +CHAPTER XLI. THE ACT OF ACCUSATION + +Benumbed, bedraggled, and bewildered, I entered Feldkirch late at night, +my wrists cut with the cords, my clothes torn by frequent falls, my +limbs aching with bruises, and my wet rags chafing my skin. No wonder +was it that I was at once consigned from the charge of a jailer to the +care of a doctor, and ere the day broke I was in a raging fever. + +I would not, if I could, preserve any memory of that grievous interval. +Happily for me, no clear traces remain on my mind,--pangs of suffering +are so mingled with little details of the locality, faces, words, +ludicrous images of a wandering intellect, long hours of silent +brooding, sound of church bells, and such other tokens as cross the +lives of busy men in the daily walk of life, all came and went within my +brain, and still I lay there in fever. + +In my first return of consciousness, I perceived I was the sole occupant +of a long arched gallery, with a number of beds arranged along each +side of it. In their uniform simplicity, and the severe air of the few +articles of furniture, my old experiences at once recalled the +hospital; not that I arrived at this conclusion without much labor and +a considerable mental effort. It was a short journey, to be sure, but +I was walking with sprained ankles. It was, however, a great joy and a +great triumph to me to accomplish even this much. It was the recognition +to myself that I was once more on the road to health, and again to feel +the sympathies that make a brotherhood of this life of ours; and so +happy was I with the prospect, that when I went to sleep at night my +last thought was of the pleasure that morning would bring me. And I +was not disappointed; the next day, and the next, and several more that +followed, were all passed in a calm and tranquil enjoyment Looking back +upon this period, I have often been disposed to imagine that when we lie +in the convalescence that follows some severe illness, with no demands +upon our bodily strength, no call made upon our muscular energies, the +very activity of digestion not evoked, as our nourishment is of +the simplest and lightest, our brain must of necessity exercise its +functions more freely, untrammelled by passing cares or the worries +incident to daily life, and that at such times our intellect has +probably a more uncontested action than at any other period of our +existence. I do not want to pursue my theory, or endeavor to sustain +it; my reader has here enough to induce him to join his experience to my +own, or reject the notion altogether. + +I lay thus, not impatiently, for above a fortnight. I regained strength +very slowly; the least effort or exertion was sure to overcome me. But +I wished for none; and as I lay there, gazing for whole days long at +a great coat-of-arms over the end of the gallery, where a huge +double-headed eagle seemed to me screaming in the agony of +strangulation, but yet never to be choked outright, I revelled in many +a strange rambling as to the fate of the land of which it was the emblem +and the shield. Doubtless some remnant of my passionate assault on +Austria lingered in my brain, and gave this turn to its operations. + +My nurse was one of that sisterhood whose charities call down many a +blessing on the Church that organizes their benevolences. She was what +is called a _graue Schwester_; and of a truth she seemed the incarnation +of grayness. It was not her dress alone, but her face and hands, her +noiseless gait, her undemonstrative stare, her half-husky whisper, and +her monotonous ways, had all a sort of pervading grayness that enveloped +her, just as a cloud mist wraps a landscape. There was, besides, a kind +of fog-like indistinctness in her few and muttered words that made a +fitting atmosphere of drowsy uniformity for the sick-room. + +Her first care, on my recovery, was to supply me with a number of little +religious books,--lives of saints and martyrs, accounts of miracles, and +narratives of holy pilgrimages,--and I devoured them with all the zest +of a devotee. They seemed to supply the very excitement my mind +craved for, and the good soul little suspected how much more she was +ministering to a love for the marvellous than to a spirit of piety. In +the "Flowers of St. Francis," for instance, I found an adventure-seeker +after my own heart To be sure, his search was after sinners in need of +a helping hand to rescue them; but as his contests with Satan were +described as stand-up encounters, with very hard knocks on each side, +they were just as exciting combats to read of, as any I had ever perused +in stories of chivalry. + +Mistaking my zest for these readings for something far more +praiseworthy, "the gray sister" enjoined me very seriously to turn +from the evil advisers I had formerly consorted with, and frequent the +society of better-minded and wiser men. Out of these counsels, dark +and dim at first, but gradually growing clearer, I learned that I was +regarded as a member of some terrible secret society, banded together +for the direst and blackest of objects; the subversion of thrones, +overthrow of dynasties, and assassination of sovereigns being all labors +of love to us. She had a full catalogue of my colleagues, from Sand, who +killed Kotzebue, to Orsini, and seemed thoroughly persuaded that I was +a very advanced member of the order. It was only after a long time, and +with great address on my part, that I obtained these revelations from +her, and she owned that nothing but witnessing how the holy studies had +influenced me would ever have induced her to make these avowals. As my +convalescence progressed, and I was able to sit up for an hour or so +in the day, she told me that I might very soon expect a visit from the +Staats Procurator, a kind of district attorney-general, to examine me. +So little able was I to carry my mind back to the bygone events of my +life, that I heard this as a sort of vague hope that the inquiry would +strike out some clew by which I could connect myself with the past, +for I was sorely puzzled to learn what and who I had been before I came +there. Was I a prosecutor or was I a prisoner? Never was a knotty point +more patiently investigated, but, alas! most hopelessly. The intense +interest of the inquiry, however, served totally to withdraw me from my +previous readings, and "the gray sister" was shocked to see the mark in +my book remain for days long unchanged. She took courage at length +to address me on the subject, and even went so far as to ask if Satan +himself had not taken occasional opportunity of her absence to come and +sit beside my bed? I eagerly caught at the suggestion, and said it was +as she suspected: that he never gave me a moment's peace, now torturing +me with menaces, now asking for explanations, how this could be +reconciled with that, and why such a thing should not have prevented +such another? + +Instead of expressing any astonishment at my confession, she appeared to +regard it as one of the most ordinary incidents, and referred me to my +books, and especially to St Francis, to see that these were usual and +every-day snares in use. She went further, and in her zeal actually +showed a sort of contempt for the Evil One in his intellectual capacity +that startled me; showing how St Jude always got the better of him, and +that he was a mere child when opposed by the craft of St. Anthony of +Pavia. + +"It is the truth," said she, "always conquers him. Whenever, by any +chance, he can catch you concealing or evading, trying to make out +reasons that are inconsistent, or affecting intentions that you had not, +then he is your master." + +There was such an air of matter-of fact about all she said, that +when--our first conversation on this theme over--she left the room, a +cold sweat broke over me at the thought that my next visitor would be +the "Lebendige Satan" himself. + +It had come to this: that I had furnished my own mind with such a +subject of terror that I could not endure to be alone, and lay there +trembling at every noise, and shrinking at every shadow that crossed the +floor. Many and many times, as the dupe of my own deceivings, did I find +myself talking aloud in self-defence, averring that I wanted to be good +and honest and faithful, and that whenever I lapsed from the right path, +it was in moments of erring reason, sure to be followed after by sincere +repentance. + +It was after an access of this kind "the gray sister" found me one +morning, bathed in cold perspiration, my eyes fixed, my lips livid, and +my fingers fast knotted together. + +"I see," said she, "he has given you a severe turn of it to-day. What +was the temptation?" + +For a long while I refused to answer; I was weak as well as irritable, +and I desired peace; but she persisted, and pressed hard to know what +subject we had been discussing together. + +"I'll tell you, then," said I, fiercely, for a sudden thought, prompted +perhaps by a sense of anger, flashed across me: "he has just told me +that you are his sister." + +She screamed out wildly, and rushing to the end of the gallery, threw +herself at the foot of a little altar. + +Satisfied with my vengeance, I lay back, and said no more. I may have +dropped into a half-slumber afterwards, for I remember nothing till, +just as evening began to fall, one of the servants came up and placed a +table and two chairs beside my bed, with writing-materials and a large +book, and shortly after, two men dressed in black, and with square +black caps on their heads, took their places at the table, and conversed +together in low whispers. Resolving to treat them with a show of +complete indifference, I turned away and pretended to go to sleep. + +"The Herr Staats Procurator Schlassel has come to read the act of +accusation," said the shorter man, who seemed a subordinate; "take care +that you pay proper respect to the law and the authorities." + +"Let him read away," said I, with a wave of my hand; "I will listen." + +In a low, sing-song, dreary tone, he began to recite the titles and +dignities of the Emperor. I listened for a while; but as he got down to +the Banat and Herzégovine, sleep overcame me, and I dozed away, waking +up to hear him detailing what seemed his own greatness, how he was +"Ober" this, and "Unter" that, till I fairly lost myself in the maze of +his description. Judging from the monotonous, business-like persistence +of his manner, that he had a long road before him, I wrapped myself +comfortably in the bedclothes, closed my eyes, and soon slept. + +There were two candles burning on the table when I next opened my eyes, +and my friend the procurator was reading away as before. I tried to +interest myself for a second or two; I rubbed my eyes, and endeavored to +be wakeful; but I could not, and was fast settling down into my former +state, when certain words struck on my ear and aroused me: + +"The well-born Herr von Rigges further denounces the prisoner Harpar--" + +"Read that again," cried I, aloud, "for I cannot clearly follow what you +say." + +"'The well-born Herr von Rigges, '" repeated he, "'further denounces +the prisoner Harpar as one of a sect banded together for the darkest +purposes of revolution!'" + +"Forgive my importunity, Herr Procurator," said I, in my most +insinuating tone, "but in compassion for the weakness of faculties +sorely tried by fever, will you tell me who is Rigges?" + +"Who is Rigges? Is that your question?" said he, slowly. + +"Yes, sir; that was my question." + +He turned over several pages of his voluminous report, and proceeded to +search for the passage he wanted. + +"Here it is," said he, at last; and he read out: "'The so-called Rigges, +being a well-born and not-the-less-from-a-mercantile-object-engaging +pursuit highly-placed and much-honored subject of her Majesty the Queen +of England, of the age of forty-two years and eight months, unmarried, +and professing the Protestant religion.' Is that sufficient?" + +"Quite so; and now, will you, with equal urbanity, inform me who is +Harpar?" + +"Who is Harpar? Who is Harpar? You surely do not ask me that?" + +"I do; such is my question." + +"I must confess that you surprise me. You ask me for information about +yourself!" + +"Oh, indeed! So that I am Harpar?" + +"You can, of course, deny it We are in a measure prepared for that. The +proofs of your identity will be, however, forthcoming; not to add that +it will be difficult to disprove the offence." + +"Ha, the offence! I 'm really curious about that. What is the offence +with which I am charged?" + +"What I have been reading these two hours. What I have recited with all +the clearness, brevity, and perspicuity that characterize our imperial +and royal legislation, making our code at once the envy and admiration +of all Europe." + +"I 'm sure of that But what have I done?" + +"With what for a dulness-charged and much-beclouded intellect are +you afflicted," cried he, "not to have followed the greatly-by- +circumstances-corroborated, and in-various-ways-by-proofs-brought-home +narrative that I have already read out." + +"I have not heard one word of it!" + +"What a deplorable and all-the-more-therefore-hopeless intelligence is +yours! I will begin it once more." And with a heavy sigh he turned over +the first pages of his manuscript. + +"Nay, Herr Procurator," interposed I, hastily. "I have the less claim to +exact this sacrifice on your part, that even when you have rendered it, +it will be all fruitless and unprofitable. I am just recovering from a +severe illness. I am, as you have very acutely remarked, a man of very +narrow and limited faculties in my best of moments, and I am now still +lower in the scale of intelligence. Were you to read that lucid document +till we were both gray-headed, it would leave me just as uninformed as +to imputed crime as I now am." + +"I perceive," said he, gravely. Then, turning to his clerk, he bade +him write down, "'And the so-called Harpar, having duly heard and with +decorously-lent attention listened to the foregoing act, did thereupon +enter his plea of mental incapacity and derangement." + +"Nay, Herr Procurator, I would simply record that, however open to +follow some plain narrative, the forms and subtleties of a legal +document only bewilder me." + +"What for an ingeniously-worded and with-artifice-cunningly-conceived +excuse have we here?" exclaimed he, indignantly. "Is it from England, +with her seventeen hundred and odd volumes of an incomplete code, that +the Imperial and Royal Government is to learn legislation? You are +charged with offences that are known to every state of civilization: +highway assault and molestation; attack with arms and deadly implements, +stimulated by base and long heretofore and with-bitterness-imagined +plans of vengeance on your countryman and former associate, the so-named +Rigges. From him, too, proceeds the information as to your political +character, and the ever-to-be deplored and only-with-blood-expiated +error of republicanism by which you are actuated. This brief, but +not-the-less-on-that-account lucid exposition, it is my duty first +to read out, and then leave with you. With all your from-a-wrong- +impulse-proceeding and a-spirit-of-opposition-suggested objections, I +have no wish nor duty to meddle. The benign and ever paternal rule under +which we live gives even to the most-with-accusation-surrounded, and +with-strong-presumption-implicated prisoner, every facility of defence. +Having read and matured this indictment, you will, after a week, make +choice of an advocate." + +"Am I to be confronted with my accuser?" + +"I sincerely hope that the indecent spectacle of insulting attack and +offensive rejoinder thus suggested is unknown to the administration of +our law." + +"How, then, can you be certain that I am the man he accuses of having +molested him?" + +"You are not here to assail, nor I to defend, the with-ages-consolidated +and by-much-tact-accumulated wisdom of our Imperial and Royal Code." + +"Might he not say, when he saw me, 'I never set eyes on this man +before'?" + +He turned again to his clerk, and dictated something of which I could +but catch the concluding words, "And thereby imputing perjury to the +so-called Rigges." + +It was all I could do to repress an outburst of anger at this +unjustifiable system of inference, but I did restrain myself, and merely +said, "I impute nothing, Herr Procurator; I simply suggest a possible +case, that everything suffered by Rigges was inflicted by some other +than I." + +"If you had accomplices, name them," said he, solemnly. + +This overcame all my prudent resolves. I was nowise prepared for such +a perversity of misconception, and, losing all patience and all respect +for his authority, I burst out into a most intemperate attack on +Austria, her code, her system, her ignorant indifference to all European +enlightenment, her bigoted adherence to forms either unmeaning or +pernicious, winding up all with a pleasant prediction that in a few +short years the world would have seen the last of this stolid and +unteachable empire. + +Instead of deigning a reply, he merely bent down to the table, and I saw +by the movement of his lips, and the rapid course of the clerk's pen, +that my statement was being reduced to writing. + +"When you have completed that," said I, gravely, "I have some further +observations to record." + +"In a moment,--in a moment," patiently responded the procurator; "we +have only got to 'the besotted stupidity of her pretentious officials.'" + +The calm quietude of his manner, as he said this, threw me into a fit of +laughter which lasted several minutes. + +"There, there," said I, "that will do; I will keep the remainder of my +remarks for another time and place." + +"'Reserving to himself,'" dictated he, "'the right of uttering still +more bitter and untruthful comments on a future occasion.'" And the +clerk wrote the words as he spoke them. + +"You will sign this here," said he, presenting me with the pen. + +"Nothing of the kind, Herr Procurator. I will not lend myself to any, +even the most ordinary, form of your stupid system." + +"'And refuses to sign the foregoing,'" dictated he, in the same unmoved +voice. This done, he arose, and proceeded to draw on his gloves. "The +act of allegation I now commit to your hands," said he, calmly, "and you +will have a week to reflect upon the course you desire to adopt." + +"One question before you go: Is the person called Rigges here at this +moment, and can I see him?" + +He consulted for a few seconds with his subordinate, and then replied, +"These questions we are of opinion are irrelevant to the defence, and +need not be answered." + +"I only ask you, as a favor, Herr Procurator," said I. + +"The law recognizes no favors, nor accepts courtesies." + +"Does it also reject common sense?--is it deaf to all intelligence?--is +it indifferent to every appeal to reason?--is it dead to--" + +But he would not wait for more, and having saluted me thrice profoundly, +retired from the gallery and left me alone with my indignation. + +The great pile of paper still lay on the table next me, and in my anger +I hurled it from me to the middle of the room, venting I know not what +passionate wrath at the same time on everything German. "This the land +of primitive simplicity and patriarchal virtues, forsooth! This the +country of elevated tastes and generous instincts! Why, it is all Bureau +and Barrack!" I went on for a long time in this strain, and I felt the +better for it. The operative surgeons tell us that no men recover so +certainly or so speedily after great operations as the fellows +who scream out and make a terrible uproar. It is your patient, +self-controlling creature who sinks under the suffering he will not +confess; and I am confident that it is a wise practice to blow off the +steam of one's indignation, and say all the most bitter things one +can think of in moments of disappointment, and, so to say, prepare the +chambers of your mind for the reception of better company. + +After a while I got up, gathered the papers together, and prepared to +read them. Legal amplifications and circumlocutions are of all lands +and peoples; but for the triumph of this diffusiveness commend me to the +Germans. To such an extent was this the case, that I reached the eighth +page of the precious paper before I got finally out of the titular +description of the vice-governor in whose district the event was laid. +Armed, however, with heroic resolution, I persevered, and read on +through the entire night,--I will not say without occasional refreshers +in the shape of short naps; but the day was already breaking when I +turned over the last page, and read the concluding little blessing on +the Emperor, under whose benign reign all the good was encouraged, +all evil punished, and the Hoch-gelehrter--Hoch wohl-geborner Herr +der Hofrath, Ober Procurators-fiscal-Secretar, charged with the due +execution of the present decree. + +In the language of _précis_ writing, the event might be stated thus: +"A certain Englishman named Rigges, travelling by post, arrived at the +torrent of Dornbirn a short time before noon, and while waiting there +for the arrival of some peasants to accompany his carriage through +the stream, was joined by a foot-traveller, by whom he was speedily +recognized. Whatever the nature of the relations previously subsisting +between them,--and it may be presumed they were not of the most +amiable,--no sooner had they exchanged glances than they engaged in +deadly conflict. Rigges was well armed; the stranger had no weapon +whatever, but was a man of surpassing strength, for he tore the door +of the carriage from its hinges, and dragged Rigges out upon the road +before the other could offer any resistance. The postilion, who had gone +to summon the peasants, was speedily recalled by the report of firearms; +three shots were fired in rapid succession, and when he reached the spot +it was to see two men struggling violently in the torrent, the stranger +dragging Rigges with all his might towards the middle of the stream, and +the other screaming wildly for succor. The conflict was a terrible one, +for the foot-traveller seemed determined on self-destruction, if he +could only involve the other in his own fate. At last Rigges' strength +gave way, and the other threw himself upon him, and they both went down +beneath the water. + +"The stranger emerged in an instant, but one of the peasants on the bank +struck him a violent blow with his ash pole, and he fell back into the +stream. Meanwhile the others had rescued Rigges, who lay panting, but +unconscious, on the ground. They were yet ministering to his recovery, +when they heard a wild shout of derisive triumph, and now saw that the +other, though carried away by the torrent, had gained a small shingly +bank in the middle of the Rhine, and was waving his hat in mockery of +them. They were too much occupied with the care of the wounded man, +however, to bestow more attention on him. One of Rigges' arms was badly +fractured, and his jaw also broken, while he complained still more +of the pain of some internal injuries; so severe, indeed, were his +sufferings, that he had to be carried on a litter to Feldkirch. His +first care on arriving was to denounce the assailant, whose name he +gave as Harpar, declaring him to be a most notorious member of a 'Rouge' +society, and one whose capture was an object of European interest. In +fact, Rigges went so far as to pretend that he had himself perilled life +in the attempt to secure him. + +"Detachments of mounted gendarmes were immediately sent off in pursuit, +the order being to arrest any foot-traveller whose suspicious appearance +might challenge scrutiny." + +It is needless to say how much I appeared to fulfil the signs they +sought for, not to add that the intemperance of my language, when +captured, was in itself sufficient to establish a grave charge against +me. It is true, there was in the act of allegation a lengthened +description of me, with which my own appearance but ill corresponded. +I was described as of middle age, of a strong frame and muscular habit, +and with an expression that denoted energy and fierceness. How much of +that vigor must they imagine had been washed away by the torrent, to +leave me the poor helpless-looking thing I now appeared! + +I know it is a very weak confession,--I feel as I make it how damaging +to my character is the acknowledgment, and how seriously I compromise +myself in my reader's estimation; but I cannot help owning that I felt +very proud to be thought so wicked, to be classed with those Brutuses of +modern history, who were scattering explosive shells like bonbons, and +throwing grenades broadcast like "confetti" in a carnival. I fancied how +that miserable Staats Procurator must have trembled in his inmost heart +as he sat there in close proximity with such an infuriate desperado as I +was. I hoped that every look, every gesture, every word of mine, struck +terror into his abject soul. It must also unquestionably do them good, +these besotted, self-satisfied, narrow-minded Germans, to learn how an +Englishman, a born Briton, regards their miserable system of government, +and that poor and meagre phantasm they call their "civilization." Well, +they have had their opportunity now, and I hope they will make much of +it. + +As I pondered over the late incident, as recorded in the allegation, +I remembered the name of Rigges as that of the man Harpar mentioned as +having "run" or escaped with their joint finances, and had very little +difficulty in filling up the probable circumstances of their rencontre. +It was easy to see how Rigges, travelling "extra-post," with all the +appearance of wealth and station, could impute to the poor wayfarer +any criminality he pleased. Cunningly enough, too, he had hit upon the +precise imputation which was sure to enlist Austrian sympathies in the +pursuit, and calling him a "Socialist and a Rouge" was almost sealing +his fate at once. How glad I felt that the poor fellow had escaped, even +though it cost me all the penalty of personating him; yes, I really was +generous enough for that sentiment, though I perceive that my reader +smiles incredulously as I declare it. "No, no," mutters he, "the arrant +snob must not try to impose upon us in that fashion. He was trembling to +the very marrow of his bones, and nothing was further from his thoughts +than self-sacrifice or devotion." I know your opinion of me takes this +lively shape; I feel it, and I shrink under it; but I know, besides, +that I owe all this depreciating estimate of me to nothing so much as my +own frankness and candor. If my reader, therefore, scruples to accord +me the merit of the generosity that I lay claim to, let him revel in the +depreciating confession that I am about to make. I knew that when it was +discovered I was not Harpar, I must instantly be set at liberty. I +felt this, and could, therefore, be at any moment the arbiter of my own +freedom. To do this, of course, would set in motion a search after the +real delinquent, and I determined I would keep my secret till he had +ample time to get away. When I had satisfied myself that all pursuit of +him must be hopeless, I would declare myself to be Potts, and proudly +demand my liberation. + +My convalescence made now such progress that I was able to walk about +the gallery, and indeed occasionally to stroll out upon a long terrace +which flanked the entire building, and gaze upon a garden, beyond which +again I could see the town of Feldkirch and the open Platz in which the +weekly market was held. By the recurrence of these--they always fell +upon a Saturday--was I enabled to mark time, and I now reckoned that +three weeks had gone over since the day of the Herr Procurator's visit, +and yet I had heard nothing more of him, nor of the accusation against +me. I was seriously thinking whether my wisest plan might not be to take +French leave and walk off, when my jailer came one morning to announce +that I was to be transferred to Innspruck, where, in due course, my +trial would take place. + +"What if I refuse to go?" said I; "what if I demand my liberation here +on the spot?" + +"I don't imagine that you 'd delay your journey much by that, my good +friend," said he; "the Imperial and Royal Government takes little heed +of foolish remonstrances." + +"What if the Imperial and Royal Government, in the plenitude of its +sagacity, should be in the wrong? What if I be not the person who is +accused of this crime? What if the real man be now at liberty? What if +the accuser himself will declare, when he sees me, that he never met me +before, nor so much as heard of me?" + +"Well, all that may happen; I won't say it is impossible, but it cannot +occur here, for the Herr von Rigges has already set off for Innspruck, +and you are to follow him to-morrow." + + + + +CHAPTER XLII. A GLIMPSE OF AN OLD FRIEND + +If there be anything in our English habits upon which no difference of +opinion can exist, it is our proneness to extend to a foreigner a degree +of sympathy and an amount of interest that'we obstinately deny to our +own people. The English artist struggling all but hopelessly against the +town's indifference has but to displace the consonants or multiply the +vowels of his name to be a fashion with it and a success. Strange and +incomprehensible tendency in a nation so overwhelmingly impressed with +a sense of its own vast superiority! But so it is. Mr. Brady may sing +to empty benches, while il Signor Bradini would "bring down the house." +What set me thinking over this was, that though Silvio Pellico was a +stock theme for English pity and compassion, I very much doubted if a +single tear would fall for the misfortunes of Potts. And yet there was +a marvellous similarity in our suffering. In each case was the Austrian +the jailer; in each case was the victim a creature of tender mould and +gentle nature. + +I travelled in a sort of covered cart, with a mounted gendarme at either +side of me. Indeed, the one faintly alleviating circumstance of my +captivity was the sight of those two heavily equipped giants, armed to +the teeth, who were supposed to be essential to my safe conduct. It was +such an acknowledgment of what they had to apprehend from my well-known +prowess and daring, so palpable a confession that every precaution was +necessary against the bold intrepidity of a man of my stamp! At times, +I almost wished they had put chains upon me. I thought how well it +would read in my Memoirs; how I was heavily "manacled,"--a great word +that,--"orders being given to the escort to shoot me if I showed the +slightest intention to escape." It was an intense pleasure to me to +imagine myself a sort of Nana Sahib, and whenever we halted at some +wayside public, and the idle loungers would draw aside the canvas +covering and stare in at me, I did my utmost to call up an expression of +ogre-like ferocity and wildness, and it was with a thrill of ecstasy I +saw a little child clasp its mother by the neck, and scream out to come +away as it beheld me. + +On the second night of our Journey we halted at a little village at +the foot of the Arlberg, called Steuben, where, in default of a regular +prison, they lodged me in an old tower, the lower part of which was +used for a stable. It stood in the very centre of the town, and from +its narrow and barred windows I could catch glimpses of the little +world that moved about in happy freedom beneath me. I could see the +Marktplatz, from which the booths were now being taken down, and could +mark that preparations for some approaching ceremony were going on, but +of what nature I could not guess. A large place was neatly swept out, +and at last strewn with sawdust,--signs unerring of some exhibition of +legerdemain or conjuring, of which the Tyrolese are warm admirers. The +arrangements were somewhat more portentous than are usually observed in +open-air representations, for I saw seats prepared for the dignitaries +of the village, and an evident design to mark the entertainment as under +the most distinguished protection. The crowd--now considerable--observed +all the decorous bearing of citizens in presence of their authorities. + +I nestled myself snugly in the deep recess of the window to watch the +proceedings, nor had I long to wait; some half-dozen gayly dressed +individuals having now pierced their way through the throng, and +commenced those peculiar gambols which bespeak backbones of gristle and +legs of pasteboard. It is a class of performance I enjoy vastly. The +two fellows who lap over each other like the links of a chain, and the +creature who rolls himself about like a ball, and the licensed freedoms +of that man of the world--the clown--never weary me, and I believe I +laugh at them with all the more zest that I have so often laughed at +them before. It was plain, after a while, that a more brilliant part +of the spectacle was yet to come, for a large bluff-looking man, in +cocked-hat and jack-boots, now entered the ring and indignantly ejected +the clowns by sundry admonitions with a lash-whip, which I perceived +were not merely make-believes. + +"Ah, here he comes! here he is!" was now uttered in accents of eager +interest, and an avenue was quickly made through the crowd for the new +performer. There was delay after this; and though doubtless the crowd +below could satisfy their curiosity, I was so highly perched and so +straitened in my embrasure that I had to wait, with what patience I +might, the new arrival. I was deep in my guesses what sort of "artist" +he might prove, when I saw the head of a horse peering over the +shoulders of the audience, and then the entire figure of the quadruped +as he emerged into the circle, all sheeted and shrouded from gaze. With +one dexterous sweep the groom removed all the clothing, and there stood +before me my own lost treasure,--Blondel himself! I would have known him +among ten thousand. He was thinner, perhaps, certainly thinner, but in +all other respects the same; his silky mane and his long tassel of a +tail hung just as gracefully as of yore, and, as he ambled round, he +moved his head with a courteous inclination, as though to acknowledge +the plaudits he met with. + +There was in his air the dignity that said, "I am one who has seen +better days. It was not always thus with me. Applaud if you must, and if +you will; but remember that I accept your plaudits with reserve, perhaps +even with reluctance." Poor fellow, my heart bled for him! I felt as +though I saw a cathedral canon cutting somersaults, and all this while, +by some strange inconsistency, I had not a sympathy to bestow on the +human actors in the scene. "As for them," thought I, "they have accepted +this degradation of their own free will. If they had not shirked +honest labor, they need never have been clowns or pantaloons; but +Blondel--Blondel, whom fate had stamped as the palfrey of some high-born +maiden, or, at least, the favorite steed of one who would know how to +lavish care on an object of such perfection--Blondel, who had borne +himself so proudly in high places, and who, even in his declining +fortunes, had been the friend and fellow-traveller of--yes, why should +I shame to say it? Posterity will speak of Potts without the detracting +malice and envious rancor of contemporaries; and when, in some future +age, a great philanthropist or statesman should claim the credit of +some marvellous discovery, some wondrous secret by which humanity may be +bettered, a learned critic will tell the world how this great invention +was evidently known to Potts, how at such a line or such a page we shall +find that Potts knew it all." + +The wild cheering of the crowd beneath cut short these speculations, and +now I saw Blondel cantering gayly round the circle, with a handkerchief +in his mouth. If in sportive levity it chanced to fall, he would +instantly wheel about and seize it, and then, whisking his tail and +shaking his long forelock, resume his course again. It was fine, too, to +mark the haughty indifference he manifested towards that whip-cracking +monster who stood in the centre, and affected to direct his motions. Not +alone did he reject his suggestions, but in a spirit of round defiance +did he canter up behind him, and alight with his forelegs on the +fellow's-shoulders. I am not sure whether the spectators regarded the +tableau as I did, but to _me_ it seemed an allegorical representation of +man and his master. + +The hard breathing of a person close behind me now made me turn my head, +and I saw the jailer, who had come with my supper. A thought flashed +suddenly across me. "Go down to those mountebanks, and ask if they will +sell that cream-colored pony," said I. "Bargain as though you wanted +him for yourself; he is old and of little value, and you may, perhaps, +secure him for eighty or ninety florins; and if so, you shall have ten +more for your pains. It is a caprice of mine, nothing more, but help me +to gratify it." + +He heard me with evident astonishment, and then gravely asked if I had +forgotten the circumstance that I was a prisoner, and likely to remain +so for some time. + +"Do as I bade you," said I, "and leave the result to me. There, lose no +more time about it, for I see the performance is drawing to a close." + +"Nay, nay," said he; "the best of all is yet to come. The pretty Moorish +girl has not yet appeared. Ha! here she is." + +As he spoke, he crept up into the window beside me, not less eager for +the spectacle than myself. A vigorous cheer, and a loud clapping of +hands below announced that the favorite was in sight long before she was +visible to our eyes. + +"What can she do?" asked I, peevishly, perhaps, for I was provoked how +completely she had eclipsed poor Blondel in public favor. "What can she +do? Is she a rope-dancer, or does she ride in the games of the ring?" + +"There, there! Look at her; yonder she goes! and there's the young +Prince--they call him a Prince, at least--who follows her everywhere." + +I could not but smile at the poor jailer's simplicity, and would +willingly have explained to him that we have outlived the age of +Cinderella. Indeed, I had half turned towards him with this object, when +a perfect roar of the crowd beneath me drew off my attention from him +to what was going on below. I soon saw what it was that entranced the +public: it was the young girl, who now, standing on Blondel's back, was +careering round the circle at full speed. It is an exercise in which +neither the horse nor the rider is seen to advantage; the heavy +monotonous tramp of the beast, cramped by the narrow limits, becomes a +stilty, wooden gallop. The rider, too, more careful of her balance than +intent upon graceful action, restricts herself to a few, and by no means +picturesque attitudes. With all this, the girl now before me seemed +herself so intensely to enter into the enjoyment of the scene, that all +her gestures sprang out of a sort of irrepressible delight. Far from +unsteadying her foot, or limiting her action, the speed of the horse +appeared to assist the changeful bendings of her graceful figure, as +now, dropping on one knee, she would lean over to caress him, or now, +standing erect, with folded arms and leg advanced, appeared to dare him +to displace her. Faultlessly graceful as she was, there was that in her +own evident enjoyment that imparted a strange delight to the beholder, +and gave to the spectacle the sort of magnetism by which pleasure finds +its way from heart to heart throughout a multitude. At least, I suppose +this must have been so, for in the joyous cheering of that crowd there +was a ring of wild delight far different from mere applause. + +At last, poor Blondel, blown and wearied, turned abruptly into the +middle of the ring, and with panting sides and shaking tail came to a +dead halt. The girl, with a graceful slide seated herself on his back +and patted him playfully. And to me this was by far the most graceful +movement of the whole. + +It was really a picture! and so natural and so easy withal, that one +forgot all about her spangles and tinsel, the golden fillet of her hair, +and the tawdry fringe of her sandals; and, what was even harder still, +heard not the hoarse-mouthed enthusiasm that greeted her. At length, a +tall man, well-dressed and of striking appearance, pushed his way into +the ring, and politely presented her with a bouquet, at which piece of +courtesy the audience, noways jealous, again redoubled their applause. +She now looked round her with an air of triumphant pleasure, and while, +with a playful gesture, she flung back the ringlets on her neck, she +lifted her face full to my view, and it was Tinte-fleck! With all my +might I cried out, "Catinka! Catinka!" I know not why, but the impulse +never waited to argue the question. Though I screamed my loudest, the +great height at which I was placed, and the humming din of the crowd, +totally drowned my words. Again and again I tried it, but to no purpose. +There she sat, slowly making the round of the circus, while the stranger +walked at her side, to all seeming conversing as though no busy and +prying multitude stood watching and observing them. Wearied with my +failure to attract notice, I turned to address the jailer; but he had +already gone, and I was alone. I next endeavored by a signal to call +attention to me, and, at last, saw how two or three of the crowd had +observed my waving a handkerchief, and were pointing it out to others. +Doubtless they wondered how a poor captive could care for the pleasant +follies of a life of whose commonest joys he was to be no sharer, +and still greater was their astonishment as I flung forth a piece of +money,--a gold Napoleon, it was,--which they speedily caught up and +gave to Catinka. How I watched her as she took it and showed it to the +stranger! He, by his gesture, seemed angry, and made a motion as though +asking her to throw it away; and then there seemed some discussion +between them, and his petulance increased; and she, too, grew +passionate, and, leaping from the horse, strode haughtily across the +circus and disappeared. And then arose a tumult and confusion, the mob +shouting madly for the Moorish girl to come back, and many much disposed +to avenge her absence on the stranger. As for him, he pushed the mob +haughtily aside and went his way; and though for a while the crowd +continued to vent its expressions of displeasure and disappointment, the +performance soon concluded, and all went their several roads homeward; +and when I looked out upon the empty Platz, over which the dusky shadows +of the old houses were now stealing to mingle together, and instead of +the scene of bustle and excitement saw a few lingering townsfolk moody +and purposeless, T asked myself if the whole incidents were not a vision +mind-drawn and invented. There was not one single clew by which I could +trace it to reality. + +More than once in my life had my dreamy temperament played me such +pranks; and, strangely too, even when I had assured myself of the +deception, there would yet linger in my mind thoughts and impressions +strong enough to influence my actions, just as we often see that our +disbelief in a scandalous story is not sufficient to disabuse us of a +certain power it wields over us. + +Oh, what a long and dreary night was that, harassed with doubts, and +worn out with speculations! My mind had been much weakened by my fever, +and whenever I followed a train of thought too long, confusion was sure +to ensue. The terror of this chaotic condition, where all people and +lands and ideas and incidents jostle against each other in mad turmoil, +can only be estimated by one who has felt it. Like the awful rush of +sensations of him who is sliding down some steep descent to a tremendous +precipice, one feels the gradual approach of that dreamy condition where +reason is lost, and the mind a mere waif upon the waters. + +"Here 's your breakfast," said the jailer, as he stopped the course of +my revery. "And the Brigadier hopes you 'll be speedy with it, for you +must reach Maltz by nightfall." + +"Tell me," said I, eagerly, "was there a circus company here yesterday +evening? Did they exhibit on the Platz there?" + +"You are a deep one, you are!" muttered he, sulkily to himself, and left +the cell. + + + + +CHAPTER XLIII. I AM CONFINED IN THE AMBRAS SCHLOSS + +I bore up admirably on my journey. I felt I was doing a very heroic +thing. By my personation of Harpar, I was securing that poor fellow's +escape, and giving him ample time to get over the Austrian frontier, and +many a mile away from the beaks of the Double Eagle. I had read of such +things in history, and I resolved I would not derogate from the proudest +records of such self-devotion. Had I but remembered how long my illness +had lasted, I might have easily seen that Harpar could by this time have +arrived at Calcutta; but, unfortunately for me, I had no gauge of time +whatever, and completely forgot the long interval of my fever. + +On reaching Innspruck, I was sent on to an old château some ten miles +away, called the Ambras Schloss, and being consigned to the charge of a +retired artillery officer there, they seemed to have totally forgotten +all about me. I lived with my old jailer just as if I were his friend: +we worked together in the garden, pruned, and raked, and hoed, and +weeded; we smoked and fished, and mended our nets on wet days, and read, +living exactly as might any two people in a remote out-of-the-world +spot. + +There is a sort of armory at the Ambras, chiefly of old Tyrolese weapons +of an early period,--maces and halberds, and double-handed swords, +and such-like,--and one of our pastimes was arranging and settling and +cataloguing them, for which, in the ancient records of the Schloss, +there was ample material. This was an occupation that amused me vastly, +and I took to it with great zeal, and with such success that old Hirsch, +the jailer, at last consigned the whole to my charge, along with the +task of exhibiting the collection to strangers,--a source from which the +honest veteran derived the better part of his means of life. + +At first, I scarcely liked my function as showman, but, like all my +other experiences in life, habit sufficed to reconcile me, and I took to +the occupation as though I had been born to it If now and then some rude +or vulgar traveller would ruffle my temper by some illiterate remark +or stupid question, I was well repaid by intercourse with a different +stamp. They were to me such peeps at the world as a monk might have from +the windows of his cloister, tempting, perhaps, but always blended with +the sense of the security that encompassed him, and defended him from +the cares of existence. + +Perhaps the consciousness that I could assert my innocence and procure +my freedom at any moment, for the first few months reconciled me to this +strange life; but certainly, after a while, I ceased to care for any +other existence, and never troubled my head either about past or future. +I had, in fact, arrived at the great monastic elevation, in which a man, +ceasing to be human, reaches the dignity of a vegetable. + +I had begun, as I have said, by an act of heroism, in accepting all +the penalties of another, and, long after I ceased to revert to this +sacrifice, the impulse it had once given still continued to move me. If +Hirsch never alluded to my imputed crime to me, I was equally reserved +towards him. + + + + +CHAPTER XLIV. A VISIT FROM THE HON. GREY BULLER + +From time to time, a couple of grave, judicial-looking men would arrive +and pass the forenoon at the Ambras Schloss, in reading out certain +documents to me. I never paid much attention to them, but my ear at +moments would catch the strangest possible allegations as to my exalted +political opinions, the dangerous associates I was bound up with, and +the secret societies I belonged to. I heard once, too, and by mere +accident, how at Steuben I had asked the jailer to procure me a horse, +and thrown gold in handfuls from the windows of my prison, to bribe the +townsfolk to my rescue, and I laughed to myself to think what a deal of +pleading and proof it would take to rebut all these allegations, and how +little likely it was I would ever engage in such a conflict. + +By long dwelling on the thought of my noble devotion, and how it would +read when I was dead and gone, I had extinguished within my heart all +desire for other distinction, speculating only on what strange and +ingenious theories men would spin for the secret clew to my motives. +"True," they would say, "Potts never cared for Harpar. He was not a man +to whom Potts would have attached himself under any circumstances; +they were, as individuals, totally unlike and unsympathetic. How, then, +explain this extraordinary act of self-sacrifice? Was he prompted by +the hope that the iniquities of the Austrian police system would receive +their death-blow from his story, and that the mound that covered him in +the churchyard would be the altar of Liberty to thousands? Or was Potts +one of those enthusiastic creatures only too eager to carry the load of +some other pilgrim in life?" + +While I used thus to reason and speculate, I little knew that I had +become a sort of European notoriety. Some Englishwoman, however, some +vagrant tourist, had put me in her book as the half-witted creature who +showed the coins and curiosities at Ambras, and mentioned how, for I +know not how many years, I was never heard to utter a syllable except +on questions of old armor and antiquities. In consequence I was always +asked for by my travelling countrymen, and my peculiarities treated with +all that playful good taste for which tourists are famous. I remember +one day having refused to perform the showman to a British family. I had +a headache, or was sulky, or a fit of rebellion had got hold of me, +but I sauntered out into the grounds and would not see them. In my walk +through a close alley of laurels, I chanced to overhear the stranger +conversing with Hirsch, and making myself the subject of his inquiries; +and, as I listened, I heard Hirsch say that one entire room of the +château was devoted to the papers and documents in my case, and that +probably it would occupy a quick reader about twelve months to peruse +them. He added, that as I made no application for a trial myself, nor +any of my friends showed an inclination to bestir themselves about me, +the Government would very probably leave me to live and die where I was. +Thereupon the Briton broke out into a worthy fit of indignant eloquence. +He denounced the Hapsburgs and praised the Habeas Corpus; he raved of +the power of England, our press, our public opinion, our new frigates. +He said he would make Europe ring with the case. It was as bad, it +was worse than Caspar Hauser's, for he was an idiot outright, and _I_ +appeared to have the enjoyment of certain faculties. He said it should +appear in the "Times," and be mentioned in the House; and as I listened, +the strangest glow ran through me, a mild and pleasurable enthusiasm, to +think that all the might, majesty, and power of Great Britain was about +to interest itself in behalf of Potts! + +The Briton kept his word; the time, too, favored him. It was a moment +when wandering Englishmen were exhuming grievances throughout every +land of Europe; and while one had discovered some case of religious +intolerance in Norway, another beat him out of the field with the +coldblooded atrocities of Naples. My Englishman chanced to be an M.P., +and therefore he asked, "in his place," if the Foreign Secretary had +any information to afford the House with respect to the case of the man +called Harper, or Harpar, he was not certain which, and who had +been confined for upwards of ten months in a dungeon in Austria, on +allegations of which the accused knew nothing whatever, and attested by +witnesses with whom he had never been confronted. + +In the absence of his chief, the Under-Secretary rose to assure +the right honorable gentleman that the case was one which had for a +considerable time engaged the attention of the department he belonged +to, and that the most unremitting exertions of her Majesty's envoy at +Vienna were now being devoted to obtain the fullest information as to +the charges imputed to Harpar, and he hoped in a few days to be able to +lay the result of his inquiry on the table of the House. + +It was in about a week after this that Hirsch came to tell me that a +member of her Majesty's legation at Vienna had arrived to investigate +my case, and interrogate me in person. I am half ashamed to say how vain +gloriously I thought of the importance thus lent me. I felt, somehow, as +though the nation missed me. Waiting patiently, as it might be, for +my return, and yet no tidings coming, they said, "What has become of +Potts?" It was clearly a case upon which they would not admit of any +mystification or deceit. "No secret tribunals, no hole-and-corner +commitments with us! Where is he? Produce him. Say, with what is he +charged?" I was going to be the man of the day. I knew it, I felt it; +I saw a great tableau of my life unrolling itself before me. Potts, the +young enthusiast after virtue,--hopeful, affectionate, confiding, giving +his young heart to that fair-haired girl as freely as he would have +bestowed a moss-rose; and she, making light of the gift, and with a +woman's coquetry, torturing him by a jealous levity till he resented the +wrong, and tore himself away. And then, Catinka,--how I tried the gold +of my nature in that crucible, and would not fall in love with her +before I had made her worthy of my love; and when I had failed in that, +how I had turned from love to friendship, and offered myself the victim +for a man I never cared about. No matter; the world will know me +at last. Men will recognize the grand stuff that I am made of. If +commentators spend years in exploring the recondite passages of great +writers, and making out beauties where there were only obscurities, why +should not all the dark parts of my nature come out as favorably, +and some flattering interpreter say, "Potts was for a long +time misconceived; few men were more wrongfully judged by their +contemporaries. It was to a mere accident, after all, we owe it that we +are now enabled to render him the justice so long denied him. His was +one of those remarkable natures in which it is difficult to say whether +humility or self-confidence predominated"? + +Then I thought of the national excitement to discover the missing Potts; +just as if I had been a lost Arctic voyager. Expeditions sent out to +track me; all the thousand speculations as to whether I had gone this +way or that; where and from whom the latest tidings of me could be +traced; the heroic offers of new discoverers to seek me living, or, +sad alternative, restore to the country that mourned me the _reliquiæ +Pottsi_, I always grew tender in my moods of self-compassion, and I felt +my eyes swimming now in pity for my fate; and let me add in this place +my protest against the vulgar error which stigmatizes as selfishness +the mere fact of a man's susceptibility. How, I would simply ask, can +he feel for others who has no sense of sympathy with his own suffering +nature? If the well of human kindness be dried up within him, how can he +give to the parched throats the refreshing waters of compassion? + +Deal with the fact how you may, I was very sorry for myself, and +seriously doubted if as sincere a mourner would bewail me when I was +gone. + +If a little time had been given me, I would have endeavored to get up +my snug little chamber somewhat more like a prison cell; I would have +substituted some straw for my comfortable bed, and gracefully draped a +few chains upon the walls and some stray torture implements out of the +Armory; but the envoy came like a "thief in the night," and was already +on the stairs when he was announced. + +"Oh! this is his den, is it?" cried he from without, as he slowly +ascended the stairs. "Egad! he hasn't much to complain of in the matter +of a lodging. I only wish our fellows were as well off at Vienna." And +with these words there entered into my room a tall young fellow, with a +light brown moustache, dressed in a loose travelling suit, and with the +lounging air of a man sauntering into a _café_. He did not remove +his hat as he came in, or take the cigar from his mouth; the latter +circumstance imparting a certain confusion to his speech that made him +occasionally scarce intelligible. Only deigning to bestow a passing look +on me, he moved towards the window, and looked out on the grand panorama +of the Tyrol Alps, as they enclose the valley of Innspruck. + +"Well," said he to himself, "all this ain't so bad for a dungeon." + +The tone startled me. I looked again at him, I rallied myself to an +effort of memory, and at once recalled the young fellow I had met on +the South-Western line and from whom I had accidentally carried away the +despatch-bag. To my beard, and my long imprisonment, I trusted for not +being recognized, and I sat patiently awaiting my examination. + +"An Englishman, I suppose?" asked he, turning hastily round. "And of +English parents?" + +"Yes," was my reply, for I determined on brevity wherever possible. + +"What brought you into this scrape?--I mean, why did you come here at +all?" + +"I was travelling." + +"Travelling? Stuff and nonsense! Why should fellows like you travel? +What's your rank in life?" + +"A gentleman." + +"Ah! but whose gentleman, my worthy friend? Ain't you a flunkey? There, +it's out! I say, have you got a match to light my cigar? Thanks,--all +right. Look here, now,--don't let us be beating about the bush all the +day,--I believe this government is just as sick of you as you are of +them. You 've been here two months, ain't it so?" + +"Ten months and upwards." + +"Well, ten months. And you want to get away?" + +I made no answer; indeed, his free-and-easy manner so disconcerted me +that I could not speak, and he went on,-- + +"I suspect they have n't got much against you, or that they don't care +about it; and, besides, they are civil to us just now. At all events, it +can be done,--you understand?--it can be done." + +"Indeed," said I, half superciliously. + +"Yes," resumed he, "I think so; not but you'd have managed better in +leaving the thing to _us_, That stupid notion you all have of writing +letters to newspapers and getting some troublesome fellow to ask +questions in the House, that's what spoils everything! How can _we_ +negotiate when the whole story is in the 'Times' or the 'Daily News'?" + +"I opine, sir, that you are ascribing to me an activity and energy I +have no claim to." + +"Well, if you did n't write those letters, somebody else did. I don't +care a rush for the difference. You see, here's how the matter stands. +This Mr. Brigges, or Rigges, has gone off, and does n't care to +prosecute, and all his allegations against you fall to the ground. +Well, these people fancy they could carry on the thing themselves, you +understand; we think not. They say they have got a strong case; perhaps +they have; but we ask, 'What's the use of it? Sending the poor beggar to +Spielberg won't save you, will it?' And so we put it to them this way: +'Draw stakes, let him off, and both can cry quits.' There, give me +another light Isn't that the common-sense view of it?" + +"I scarcely dare to say that I understand you aright." + +"Oh, I can guess why. I have had dealings with fellows of your sort +before. You don't fancy my not alluding to compensation, eh? You want to +hear about the money part of the matter?" + +And he laughed aloud; but whether at _my_ mercenary spirit or _his own_ +shrewdness in detecting it, I do not really know. + +"Well, I'm afraid," continued he, "you'll be disappointed there. These +Austrians are hard up; besides, they never do pay. It's against their +system, and so we never ask them." + +"Would it be too much, sir, to ask why I have been imprisoned?" + +"Perhaps not; but a great deal too much for me to tell you. The +confounded papers would fill a cart, and that's the reason I say, cut +your stick, my man, and get away." Again he turned to the window, and, +looking out, asked, "Any shooting about here? There ought to be cocks +in that wood yonder?" and without caring for reply, went on, "After +all, you know what bosh it is to talk about chains and dungeons, and +bread-and-water, and the rest of it. You 've been living in clover here. +That old fellow below tells me that you dine with him every day; that +you might have gone into Innspruck, to the theatre if you liked it--I +'ll swear there are snipes in that low land next the river.--Think it +over, Rigges, think it over." + +"I am not Rigges." + +"Oh, I forgot! you 're the other fellow. Well, think it over, Harpar." + +"My name is not Harpar, sir." + +"What do I care for a stray vowel or two? Maybe you call yourself +Harpar, or Harper? It's all the same to _us_." + +"It is not the question of a vowel or two, sir; and I desire you to +remark it is the graver one of a mistaken identity!" I said this with a +high-sounding importance that I thought must astound him; but his light +and frivolous nature was impervious to rebuke. + +"_We_ have nothing to say to that," replied he, carelessly. "You may be +Noakes or Styles. I believe they are the names of any fellows who are +supposed by courtesy to have no name at all, and it's all alike to _us_. +What I have to observe to you is this: nobody cares very much whether +you are detained here or not; nobody wants to detain you. Just reflect, +therefore, if it's not the best thing you can do to slope off, and make +no more fuss about it?" + +"Once for all, sir," said I, still more impressively, "I am not the +person against whom this charge is made. The authorities have all along +mistaken me for another." + +"Well, what if they have? Does it signify one kreutzer? We have had +trouble enough about the matter already, and do not embroil us any +further." + +"May I ask, sir, just for information, who are the '_we_' you have so +frequently alluded to?" + +Had I asked him in what division of the globe he understood us then to +be conversing, he would not have regarded me with a look of more blank +astonishment. + +"Who are we?" repeated he. "Did you ask who are we?" + +"Yes, sir, that was what I made bold to ask." + +"Cool, certainly; what might be called uncommon cool. To what line of +life were you brought up to, my worthy gent? I have rather a curiosity +about your antecedents." + +"That same curiosity cost you a trifle once before," said I, no +longer able to control myself, and dying to repay his impertinence. "I +remember, once upon a time, meeting you on a railroad, and you were so +eager to exhibit the skill with which you could read a man's calling, +that you bet me a sovereign you would guess mine. You did so, and lost." + +"You can't be--no, it's impossible. Are you really the goggle-eyed +fellow that walked off with the bag for Kalbbratonstadt?" + +"I did, by mistake, carry away a bag on that occasion, and so +punctiliously did I repay my error that I travelled the whole journey to +convey those despatches to their destination." + +"I know all about it," said he, in a frank, gay manner. "Doubleton told +me the whole story. You dined with him and pretended you were I don't +remember whom, and then you took old Mamma Keats off to Como and made +her believe you were Louis Philippe, and you made fierce love to your +pretty companion, who was fool enough to like you. By Jove! what a rig +you must have run! We have all laughed over it a score of times." + +"If I knew who 'we' were, I am certain I should feel flattered by +any amusement I afforded them, notwithstanding how much more they are +indebted to fiction than fact regarding me. I never assumed to be Louis +Philippe, nor affected to be any person of distinction. A flighty old +lady was foolish enough to imagine me a prince of the Orleans family--" + +"You,--a prince! Oh, this is too absurd!" + +"I confess, sir, I cannot see the matter in this light. I presume the +mistake to be one by no means difficult to have occurred. Mrs. Keats has +seen a deal of life and the world--" + +"Not so much as you fancy," broke he in. "She was a long time in +that private asylum up at Brompton, and then down in Staffordshire; +altogether, she must have passed five-and-twenty or thirty years in a +rather restricted circle." + +"Mad! Was she mad?" + +"Not what one would call mad, but queer. They were all queer. Hargrave, +the second brother, was the fellow that made that shindy in the +Mauritius, and our friend Shalley isn't a conjuror. And _we_ thought you +were larking the old lady, I assure you we did." + +"'We' were once more mistaken, then," said I, sneer-ingly. + +"We all said, too, at the time, that Doubleton had been 'let in.' He +gave you a good round sum for expenses on the road, did n't he, and you +sent it all back to him." + +"Every shilling of it" + +"So he told us, and that was what puzzled us more than all the rest. Why +did you give up the money?" + +"Simply, sir, because it was not mine." + +"Yes, yes, to be sure, I know that; but I mean, what suggested the +restitution?" + +"Really, sir, your question leads me to suppose that the 'we' so often +referred to are not eminently remarkable for integrity." + +"Like their neighbors, I take it,--neither better nor worse. But won't +you tell why you gave up the tin?" + +"I should be hopeless of any attempt to explain my motives, sir; so pray +excuse me." + +"You were right, at all events," said he, not heeding the sarcasm of +my manner. "There 's no chance for the knaves, now, with the telegraph +system. As it was, there were orders flying through Europe to arrest +Pottinger,--I--can't forget the name. We used to have it every day in +the Chancellerie: Pottinger, five feet nine, weak-looking and vulgar, +low forehead, light hair and eyes, slight lisp, talks German fluently, +but ill. I have copied that portrait of you twenty, ay, thirty times." + +"And yet, sir, neither the name nor the description apply. I am no more +Pottinger than I am ignoble-looking and vulgar." + +"What's the name, then?--not Harpar, nor Pottinger? But who cares a rush +for the name of fellows like you? You change them just as you do the +color of your coat." + +"May I take the liberty of asking, sir, just for information, as you +said awhile ago, how you would take it were I to make as free with you +as you have been pleased to do with _me?_ To give a mock inventory of +your external characteristics, and a false name to yourself?" + +"Laugh, probably, if I were amused; throw you out of the window if you +offended me." + +"The very thing I 'd do with you this moment, if I was strong enough," +said I, resolutely. And he flung himself into a chair, and laughed as I +did not believe he could laugh. + +"Well," cried he, at last, "as this room is about fifty feet or so from +the ground, it's as well as it is. But now let us wind up this affair. +You want to get away from this, I suppose; and as nobody wants to +detain you, the thing is easy enough. You need n't make a fuss about +compensation, for they 'll not give a kreutzer, and you 'd better not +write a book about it, because 'we' don't stand fellows who write books; +so just take a friend's advice, and go off without military honors of +any kind." + +"I neither acknowledge the friendship nor accept the advice, sir. The +motives which induced me to suffer imprisonment for another are quite +sufficient to raise me above any desire to make a profit of it." + +"I think I understand you," said he, with a cunning expression in his +half-closed eyes. "You go in for being a 'character.' Haven't I hit it? +You want to be thought a strange, eccentric sort of fellow. Now there +was a time the world had a taste for that kind of thing. Romeo Coates, +and Brummel, and that Irish fellow that walked to Jerusalem, and +half-a-dozen others, used to amuse the town in those days, but it's all +as much bygone now as starched neckcloths and Hessian boots. Ours is an +age of paletots and easy manners, and you are trying to revive what our +grandfathers discarded and got rid of. It won't do, Pottinger; it will +not." + +"I am not Pottinger; my name is Algernon Sydney Potts." + +"Ah! there's the mischief all out at last. What could come of such a +collocation of names but a life of incongruity and absurdity! You owe +all your griefs to your godfathers, Potts. If they 'd have called you +Peter, you 'd have been a well-conducted poor creature. Well, I'm to +give you a passport. Where do you wish to go?" + +"I wish, first of all, to go to Como." + +"I think I know why. But you're on a wrong cast there. They have left +that long since." + +"Indeed, and for what place?" + +"They 've gone to pass the winter at Malta. Mamma Keats required a dry, +warm climate, and you 'll find them at a little country-house about a +mile from Valetta; the Jasmines, I think it's called. I have a brother +quartered in the island, and he tells me he has seen them, but they +won't receive visits, nor go out anywhere. But, of course, a Royal +Highness is always sure of a welcome. Prince Potts is an 'Open, sesame!' +wherever he goes." + +"What atrocious tobacco this is of yours, Buller!" said I, taking a +cigar from his case as it lay on the table. "I suppose that you small +fry of diplomacy cannot get things in duty free, eh?" + +"Try this cheroot; you 'll find it better," said he, opening a secret +pocket in the case. + +"Nothing to boast of," said I, puffing away, while he continued to fill +up the blanks in my passport. + +"Would you like an introduction to my brother? He's on the Government +staff there, and knows every one. He's a jolly sort of fellow, besides, +and you 'll get on well together." + +"I don't care if I do," said I, carelessly; "though, as a rule, your +red-coat is very bad style,--flippant without smartness, and familiar +without ease." + +"Severe, Potts, but not altogether unjust; but you 'll find George above +the average of his class, and I think you 'll like him." + +"Don't let him ask me to his mess," said I, with an insolent drawl. +"That's an amount of boredom I could not submit to. Caution him to make +no blunder of that kind." + +He looked up at me with a strange twinkle in his eyes, which I could not +interpret He was either in intense enjoyment of my smartness, or Heaven +knows what other sentiment then moved him. At all events, I was in +ecstasy at the success of my newly discovered vein, and walked the room, +humming a tune, as he wrote the letter that was to present me to his +brother. + +"Why had I never hit upon this plan before?" thought I. "How was it that +it had not occurred that the maxim of homoeopathy is equally true in +morals as in medicine, and that _similia similibus curantur!_ So long +as I was meek, humble, and submissive, Buller's impertinent presumption +only increased at every moment With every fresh concession of mine he +continued to encroach, and now that I had adopted his own strategy, +and attacked, he fell back at once." I was proud, very proud of my +discovery. It is a new contribution to that knowledge of life which, +notwithstanding all my disasters, I believed to be essentially my gift. + +At last he finished his note, folded, sealed, and directed it,--"The +Hon. George Buller, A.D.C., Government House, Malta, favored by Algernon +Sydney Potts, Esq." + +"Is n't that all right?" asked he, pointing to my name. "I was within +an ace of writing Hampden-Russell too." And he laughed at his own very +meagre jest. + +"I hope you have merely made this an introduction?" said I. + +"Nothing more; but why so?" + +"Because it's just as likely that I never present it! I am the slave of +the humor I find myself in, and I rarely do anything that costs me +the slightest effort." I said this with a close and, indeed, a servile +imitation of Charles Matthews in "Used Up;" but it was a grand success, +and Buller was palpably vanquished. + +"Well, for George's sake, I hope your mood may be the favorable one. Is +there anything more I can do for you? Can you think of nothing wherein I +may be serviceable?" + +"Nothing. Stay, I rather think our people at home might with propriety +show my old friend Hirsch here some mark of attention for his conduct +towards me. I don't know whether they give a C.B. for that sort of +thing, but a sum,--a handsome sum,--something to mark the service, +and the man to whom it was rendered. Don't you think 'we' could manage +that?" + +"I 'll see what can be done. I don't despair of success." + +"As for your share in the affair, Buller, I 'll take care that it shall +be mentioned in the proper quarter. If I _have_ a characteristic,--my +friends say I have many,--but if I have one, it is that I never forget +the most trifling service of the humblest of those who have aided me. +You are young, and have your way to make in life. Go back, therefore, +and carry with you the reflection that Potts is your friend." + +I saw he was affected at this, for he covered his face with his +handkerchief and turned away, and for some seconds his shoulders moved +convulsively. + +"Yes," said I, with a struggle to become humble, "there are richer men, +there are men more influential by family ties and connections, there are +men who occupy a more conspicuous position before the public eye, there +are men who exercise a wider sway in the world of politics and party; +but this I will say, that there is not one--no, not one--individual +in the British dominions who, when you come to consider either the +difficulties he has overcome, the strength of the prejudices he has +conquered, the totally unassisted and unaided struggle he has had to +maintain against not alone the errors, for errors are human, but still +worse, the ungenerous misconceptions, the--I will go further, and call +them the wilful misrepresentations of those who, from education and rank +and condition, might be naturally supposed--indeed, confidently affirmed +to be--to be--" + +"I am certain of it!" cried he, grasping my hand, and rescuing me from +a situation very like smothering,--"I am certain of it!" And with a +hurried salutation, for his feelings were evidently overcoming him, he +burst away, and descended the stairs five steps at a time; and although +I was sorry he had not waited till I finished my peroration, I was +really glad that the act had ended and the curtain fallen. + +"What a deal of bad money passes current in this world," said I, as I +was alone; "and what a damper it is upon honest industry to think how +easy it is to eke out life with a forgery!" + +"What do you say to a dinner with me at the 'Swan' in Innspruck, Potts?" +cried out Boiler, from the courtyard. + +"Excuse me, I mean to eat my last cutlet here, with my old Jailer. It +will be an event for the poor fellow as long as he lives. Good-bye, and +a safe journey to you." + + + + +CHAPTER XLV. MY CANDID AVOWAL TO KATE HERBERT + +I was now bound for the first port in the Mediterranean from which I +could take ship for Malta; and the better to carry out my purpose, I +resolved never to make acquaintance with any one, or be seduced by any +companionship, till I had seen Miss Herbert, and given her the message +I was charged with. This time, at least, I would be a faithful envoy; +at least, as faithful as a man might be who had gone to sleep over his +credentials for a twelvemonth. And so I reached Malta, and took my place +by diligence over the Stelvio down to Lecco, never trusting myself +with even the very briefest intercourse with my fellow-travellers, and +suffering them to indulge in the humblest estimate of me, morally and +intellectually,--all that I might be true to my object and firm to my +fixed purpose. For the first time in my life I tried to present myself +in an unfavorable aspect, and I was astonished to find the experiment by +no means unpleasing, the reason being, probably, that it was an eminent +success. I began to see how the surly people are such acute philosophers +in life, and what a deal of selfish gratification they must derive from +their uncurbed ill-humor. I reached Genoa in time to catch a steamer +for Malta. It was crowded, and with what, in another mood, I might have +called pleasant people; but I held myself estranged and aloof from all. +I could mark many an impertinent allusion to my cold and distant manner, +and could see that a young sub on his way to Join was even witty at the +expense of my retiring disposition. The creature, Groves he was called, +used to try to "trot me out," as he phrased it; but I maintained both my +resolve and my temper, and gave him no triumph. + +I was almost sorry on the morning we dropped anchor in the harbor. The +sense of doing something, anything, with a firm persistence, had given +me cheerfulness and courage. However, I had now a task of some nicety +before me, and addressed myself at once to its discharge. At the hotel I +learned that the cottage inhabited by Mrs. Keats was in a small nook +of one of the bays, and only an easy walk from the town; and so I +despatched a messenger at once with Miss Crofton's note to Miss Herbert, +enclosed in a short one from myself, to know if she would permit me to +wait upon her, with reference to the matter in the letter. I spoke of +myself in the third person and as the bearer of the letter. + +While I was turning over the letters and papers in my writing-desk, +awaiting her reply, I came upon Buller's note to his brother, and, +without any precise idea why, I sent it by a servant to the Government +House, with my card. It was completely without a purpose that I did +so, and if my reader has not experienced moments of the like +"inconsequence," I should totally break down in attempting to account +for their meaning. + +Miss Herbert's reply came back promptly. She requested that the writer +of the note she had just read would favor her with a visit at his +earliest convenience. + +I set forth immediately. What a strange and thrilling sensation it is +when we take up some long-dropped link in life, go back to some broken +thread of our existence, and try to attach it to the present! We feel +young again in the bygone, and yet far older even than our real age in +the thought of the changes time has wrought upon us in the meanwhile. A +week or so before I had looked with impatience for this meeting, and now +I grew very faint-hearted as the moment drew nigh. The only way I could +summon courage for the occasion was by thinking that in the mission +intrusted to me _I_ was actually nothing. There were incidents and +events not one of which touched me, and I should pass away off the scene +when our interview was over, and be no more remembered by her. + +It was evident that the communication had engaged her attention to some +extent by the promptitude of her message to me; and with this thought I +crossed the little lawn, and rang the bell at the door. + +"The gentleman expected by Miss Herbert, sir?" asked a smart English +maid. "Come this way, sir. She will see you in a few minutes." + +I had fully ten minutes to inspect the details of a pretty little +drawing-room, one of those little female temples where scattered +drawings and books and music, and, above all, the delicious odor of +fresh flowers, all harmonize together, and set you a-thinking how easily +life could glide by with such appliances were they only set in motion +by the touch of the enchantress herself. The door opened at last, but it +was the maid; she came to say that Mrs. Keats was very poorly that day, +and Miss Herbert could not leave her at that moment; and if it were not +perfectly convenient to the gentleman to wait, she begged to know when +it would suit him to call again? + +"As for me," said I, "I have come to Malta solely on this matter; pray +say that I will wait as long as she wishes. I am completely at her +orders." + +I strolled out after this through one of the windows that opened on +the lawn, and, gaining the seaside, I sat down upon a rock to bide her +coming. I might have sat about half an hour thus, when I heard a rapid +step approaching, and I had just time to arise when Miss Herbert stood +before me. She started back, and grew pale, very pale, as she recognized +me, and for fully a minute there we both stood, unable to speak a word. + +"Am I to understand, sir," said she, at last, "that you are the bearer +of this letter?" And she held it open towards me. + +"Yes," said I, with a great effort at collectedness. "I have much to ask +your forgiveness for. It is fully a year since I was charged to place +that in your hands, but one mischance after another has befallen me; not +to own that in my own purposeless mode of life I have had no enemy worse +than my fate." + +"I have heard something of your fondness for adventure," said she, with +a strange smile that blended a sort of pity with a gentle irony. "After +we parted company at Schaffhausen, I believe you travelled for some time +on foot? We heard, at least, that you took a fancy to explore a mode +of life few persons have penetrated, or, at least, few of your rank and +condition." + +"May I ask, what do you believe that rank and condition to be, Miss +Herbert?" asked I, firmly. + +She blushed deeply at this; perhaps I was too abrupt in the way I spoke, +and I hastened to add,-- + +"When I offered to be the bearer of the letter you have just read, I was +moved by another wish than merely to render you some service. I wanted +to tell you, once for all, that if I lived for a while in a fiction +land of my own invention, with day-dreams and fancies, and hopes and +ambitions all unreal, I have come to pay the due penalty of my deceit, +and confess that nothing can be more humble than I am in birth, station, +or fortune,--my father an apothecary, my name Potts, my means a very few +pounds in the world; and yet, with all that avowal, I feel prouder now +that I have made it, than ever I did in the false assumption of some +condition I had no claim to." + +She held out her hand to me with such a significant air of approval, and +smiled so good-naturedly, that I could not help pressing it to my lips, +and kissing it rapturously. + +Taking a seat at my side, and with a voice meant to recall me to a quiet +and business-like demeanor, she asked me to read over Miss Crofton's +letter. I told her that I knew every line of it by heart, and, more +still, I knew the whole story to which it related. It was a topic that +required the nicest delicacy to touch on, but with a frankness that +charmed me, she said,-- + +"You have had the candor to tell me freely your story; let me imitate +you, and reveal mine. + +"You know who we are, and whence we have sprung; that my father was +a simple laborer on a line of railroad, and by dint of zeal and +intelligence, and an energy that would not be balked or impeded, that +he raised himself to station and affluence. You have heard of his +connection with Sir Elkanah Crofton, and how unfortunately it was broken +off; but you cannot know the rest,--that is, you cannot know what we +alone know, and what is not so much as suspected by others; and of this +I can scarcely dare to speak, since it is essentially the secret of my +family." + +I guessed at once to what she alluded; her troubled manner, her swimming +eyes, and her quivering voice, all betraying that she referred to the +mystery of her father's fate; while I doubted within myself whether +it were right and fitting for me to acknowledge that I knew the +secret soucre of her anxiety, she relieved me from my embarrassment by +continuing thus,-- + +"Your kind and generous friends have not suffered themselves to be +discouraged by defeat. They have again and again renewed their proposals +to my mother, only varying the mode, in the hope that by some stratagem +they might overcome her reasons for refusal. Now, though this rejection, +so persistent as it is, may seem ungracious, it is not without a fitting +and substantial cause." + +Again she faltered, and grew confused, and now I saw how she struggled +between a natural reserve and an impulse to confide the soitow that +oppressed her to one who might befriend her. + +"You may speak freely to me," said I, at last. "I am not ignorant of +the mystery you hint at. Crofton has told me what many surmise and some +freely believe in." + +"But we know it,--know it for a certainty," cried she, clasping my hand +in her eagerness. "It is no longer a surmise or a suspicion. It is +a certainty,--a fact! Two letters in his handwriting have reached my +mother,--one from St. Louis, in America, where he had gone first; the +second from an Alpine village, where he was laid up in sickness. He had +had a terrible encounter with a man who had done him some gross wrong, +and he was wounded in the shoulder; after which he had to cross the +Rhine, wading or swimming, and travel many miles ere he could find +shelter. When he wrote, however, he was rapidly recovering, and as +quickly regaining all his old courage and daring." + +"And from that time forward have you had no tidings of him?" + +"Nothing but a check on a Russian banker in London to pay to my mother's +order a sum of money,--a considerable one, too; and although she hoped +to gain some clew to him through this, she could not succeed, nor have +we now any trace of him whatever. I ought to mention," said she, as +if catching up a forgotten thread in her narrative, "that in his +last letter he enjoined my mother not to receive any payment from the +assurance company, nor enter into any compromise with them; and, above +all, to live in the hope that we should meet again and be happy." + +"And are you still ignorant of where he now is?" + +"We only know that a cousin of mine, an officer of engineers at Aden, +heard of an Englishman being engaged by the Shah of Persia to report +on certain silver mines at Kashan, and from all he could learn, the +description would apply to him. My cousin had obtained leave of absence +expressly to trace him, and promised in his last letter to bring me +himself any tidings he might procure here to Malta. Indeed, when I +learned that a stranger had asked to see me, I was full sure it was my +cousin Harry." + +Was it that her eyes grew darker in color as this name escaped, her was +it that a certain tremor shook her voice, or was it the anxiety of my +own jealous humor that made me wretched as I heard of that cousin Harry, +now mentioned for the first time? + +"What reparation can I make you for so blank a disappointment?" said I, +with a sad, half-bitter tone. + +"Be the same kind friend that he would have proved himself if it had +been his fortune to have come first," said she; and though she spoke +calmly, she blushed deeply! "Here," said she, hurriedly, taking a small +printed paragraph from a letter, and eagerly, as it seemed, trying +to recover her former manner,--"here is a slip I have cut out of the +'Levant Herald.' I found it about two months since. It ran thus: 'The +person who had contracted for the works at Pera, and who now turns +out to be an Englishman, is reported to have had a violent altercation +yesterday with Musted Pasha, in consequence of which he has thrown up +his contract, and demanded his passport for Russia. It is rumored here +that the Russian ambassador is no stranger to this rupture.' Vague as +this is, I feel persuaded that he is the person alluded to, and that it +is from Constantinople we must trace him." + +"Well," cried I, "I am ready. I will set out at once." + +"Oh! can I believe you will do us this great service?" cried she, with +swimming eyes and clasped hands. + +"This time you will find me faithful," said I, gravely. "He who has said +and done so many foolish things as I have, must, by one good action, +give bail for his future character." + +"You are a true friend, and you have all my confidence." + +"Mrs. Keats's compliments, miss," said the maid at this moment, "and +hopes the gentleman will stay to dinner with you, though she cannot come +down herself." + +"She imagines you are my cousin, whom she is aware I have been +expecting," said Miss Herbert, in a whisper, and evidently appearing +uncertain how to act. + +"Oh!" said I, with an anguish I could not repress, "would that I could +change my lot with his!" + +"Very well, Mary," said Miss Herbert; "thank your mistress from me, and +say the gentleman accepts her invitation with pleasure. Is it too much +presumption on my part, sir, to say so?" said she, with a low whisper, +while a half-malicious twinkle lit up her eyes, and I could not speak +with happiness. + +Determined, however, to give an earnest of my zeal in her cause, I +declared I would at once return to the town, and learn when the first +packet sailed for Constantinople. The dinner hour was seven, so that +I had fully five hours yet to make my inquiries ere we met at table. I +wondered at myself how business-like and practical I had become; but a +strong impulse now impelled me, and seemed to add a sort of strength to +my whole nature. + +"As Cousin Harry is the mirror of punctuality, and you now represent +him, Mr. Potts," said she, shaking my hand, "pray remember not to be +later than seven." + + + +CHAPTER XLVI. CAPTAIN ROGERS STANDS MY FRIEND + +"Constantinople, Odessa, and the Levant.--The 'Cyclops,' five hundred +horse-power, to sail on Wednesday morning, at eight o'clock. For freight +or passage apply to Captain Robert B. Rogers." + +This announcement, which I found amidst a great many others in a frame +over the fireplace in the coffee-room, struck me forcibly, first of all, +because, not belonging to the regular mail-packets, it suggested a cheap +passage; and, secondly, it promised an early departure, and the vessel +was to sail on the very next morning, an amount of promptitude that I +felt would gratify Miss Herbert. + +Now, although I had been living for a considerable time back at the cost +of the Imperial House of Hapsburg, my resources for such an expedition +as was opening before me were of the most slender kind. I made a careful +examination of all my worldly wealth, and it amounted to the sum of +forty-three pounds some odd shillings. On _terra firma_ I could, of +course, economize to any extent. With self-denial and resolution I could +live on very little. Life in the East, I had often heard, was singularly +cheap and inexpensive. All I had read of Oriental habits in the "Arabian +Nights" and "Tales of the Genii," assured me that with a few dates and +a watermelon a man dined fully as well as need be; and the delicious +warmth of the climate rendered shelter a complete superfluity. Before +forming anything like a correct budget, I must ascertain what would be +the cost of my passage to Constantinople, and so I rang for the waiter +to direct me to the address of the advertiser. + +"That's the captain yonder, sir," whispered the waiter; and he pointed +to a stout, weather-beaten man, who, with his hands in the pockets of +his pilot-coat, was standing in front of the fire, smoking a cigar. + +Although I had never seen him before, the features reminded me of some +one I had met with, and suddenly I bethought me of the skipper with whom +I had sailed from Ireland for Milford, and who had given me a letter for +his brother "Bob,"--the very Robert Rogers now before me. + +"Do you know this handwriting, Captain?" said I, draw-, ing the letter +from my pocket-book. + +"That's my brother Joe's," said he, not offering to take the letter from +my hand, or removing the cigar from his mouth, but talking with all the +unconcern in life. "That's Joe's own scrawl, and there ain't a worse +from this to himself." + +"The letter is for you," said I, rather offended at his coolness. + +"So I see. Stick it up there, over the chimney; Joe has never anything +to say that won't keep." + +"It is a letter of introduction, sir," said I, still more haughtily. + +"And what if it be? Won't that keep? Who is it to introduce?" + +"The humble individual before you, Captain Rogers." + +"So, that's it!" said he, slowly. "Well, read it out for me; for, to +tell you the truth, there's no harder navigation to me than one of Joe's +scrawls." + +"I believe I can master it," said I, opening and reading what originally +had been composed and drawn up by myself. When I came to "Algernon +Sydney Potts, a man so completely after your own heart," he drew his +cigar from his mouth, and, laying his hand on my shoulder, turned me +slowly around till the light fell full upon me. + +"No, Joseph," said he, deliberately, "not a bit of it, my boy. This +ain't my sort of chap at all!" + +I almost choked with anger, but somehow there was such an apparent +earnestness in the man, and such a total absence of all wish to offend, +that I read on to the end. + +"Well," said he, as I concluded, "he used n't to be so wordy as that. I +wonder what came over him. Mayhap he was n't well." + +What a comment on a style that might have adorned the Correct Letter +Writer! + +"He was, on the contrary, in the enjoyment of perfect health, sir," said +I, tartly. + +"All I can pick out of it is, I ain't to offer you any money; and as +there is n't any direction easier to follow, nor pleasanter to obey, +here's my hand!" And he wrung mine with a grip that would have flattened +a chain cable. + +"What's your line, here? You ain't sodgering, are you?" + +"No; I 'm travelling, for pleasure, for information, for pastime, as one +might say." + +"In the general do-nothing and careless line of business? That ain't +mine. No, by jingo! I don't eat my fish without matching, ay, and +salting them too, I ain't ashamed to say. I 'm captain, supercargo, and +pilot of my own craft; take every lunar that is taken aboard. I 've writ +every line that ever is writ in the log-book, and I vaccinated every +man and boy aboard for the natural small-pox with these fingers and +this tool that you see here!" And he produced an old and very rusty +instrument of veterinary surgery from his vest-pocket, where it lay with +copper money, tobacco quids, and lucifer matches. + +I quickly remembered the character for inordinate boast-fulness his +brother had given me, and of which he thus, without any provocation on +my part, afforded me a slight specimen. Now, perhaps, at this stage of +my narrative, I might never have alluded to him at all, if it were +not for the opportunity it gives me of recording how nobly and how +resolutely I resisted what may be called the most trying temptation of +human nature. An inveterate dram-drinker has been known to turn away +from the proffered glass; an incurable gambler has been seen to decline +the invitation to "cut in;" dignitaries of the church have begged +off being made bishops; but is there any mention in history of an +anecdote-monger suffering himself to be patiently vanquished, and +retiring from the field without firing off at least an "incident that +occurred to himself"? If ever a man was sorely tried, _I_ was. Here was +this coarsely minded vulgar dog, with nothing pictorial or imaginative +in his nature, heaping story upon story of his own feats and +achievements, in which not one solitary situation ever suggested an +interest or awakened an anxiety; and I, who could have shot my tigers, +crippled my leopards, hamstrung my lionesses, rescued men from drowning, +and women from fire,--with little life touches to thrill the heart and +force tears from the eyes of a stock-broker,--I, I say, had to stand +there and listen in silence! Watching a creature banging away at a +target that he never hit, with an old flint musket, while you held in +your hand a short Enfield that would have driven the ball through the +bull's eye, is nothing to this; and to tell the truth, it nearly choked +me. Twice I had to cough down the words, "Now let me mention a personal +fact." But I did succeed, and I am proud to say I only grew very red in +the face, and felt that singing noise in the ears and general state of +muddle that forebodes a fit. But I rallied, and said in a voice, slow +from the dignity of a self-conquest,-- + +"Can you take me as a passenger to Constantinople?" + +"To Constantinople? Ay, to the Persian Gulf, to Point de Galle, to +Cochin China, to Ross River; don't think to puzzle me with navigation, +my lad." + +"Are there many other passengers?" + +"I could have five hundred, if I 'd take 'em! Put Bob Rogers on a +placard, and see what'll happen. If I said, 'I 'm a-going to sea on a +plank to-morrow,' there's men would rather come along with me than go in +the 'Queen' or the 'Hannibal.' I don't say they 're right, mind ye; but +I won't say they's wrong, neither." + +"Oh, why did n't I meet this wretch when I was a child? Why didn't my +father find a Helot like this, to tell lies before me, and frighten me +with their horrid ugliness?" This was the thought that flashed through +me as I listened. I felt, besides, that such stupid, purposeless +inventions corrupted and blunted the taste for graceful narrative, just +in the same way that an undeserving recipient of charity offends the +pleasure of real benevolence. + +"May I ask, Captain Rogers, what is the fare?" said I, with a bland +courtesy. + +"That depends upon the man, sir. If you was Ramsam Can-tanker-abad, I'd +say five hundred gold pagodas. If you was a Cockney stripling, with a +fresh-water face, and a spunyarn whisker, I 'd call it a matter of seven +or eight pound." + +"And you sail at eight?" + +"To the minute. When Bob Rogers says eight o'clock, the first turn of +the paddles will be the first stroke of the hour." + +"Then book me, pray, for a berth; and, for surety's sake, I'll go aboard +to-night!" + +"Meet me, then, here, at ten o'clock, and I 'll take you off in my gig, +an honor to be proud on, my lad; but as Joe's friend, I'll do it." + +I bowed my acknowledgments and went off, neither delighted with my new +acquaintance, nor myself for the patience I had shown him. After all, +I had secured an early passage, and was thus able to show Kate Herbert +that I was not going to let the grass grow under my feet this time, and +that she might reckon on my zeal to serve her in future. As I retraced +my road to the cottage, I forgot all about Captain Rogers, and only +thought of Kate, and the interests that were hers. It was next to +a certainty that her father was yet alive; but how to find him in a +strange land, with a feigned name, and most probably with every aid +and appliance to complete his disguisement! It was, doubtless, a noble +enterprise to devote oneself for such as she was, but not very hopeful +withal; and then I went over various plans for my future guidance: what +I should do if I fell sick? what if my money failed me? what if I +were waylaid by Arabs, or carried away to some fearful region in +the mountains, and made to feed a pet alligator or a domestic +boa-constrictor? I hoped sincerely that I was overestimating my possible +perils, but it was wise to give a large margin to the unknown; and so I +did not curb-myself in the least. + +As I entered the grounds, the night was falling, and I could see that +the lamps were already lighted in the drawing-room. What surprised +me, however, was to see a very smart groom, well mounted, and leading +another horse up and down before the door. There was, evidently, a +visitor within, and I felt indisposed to enter till he had gone away. My +curiosity, however, prompted me to ask the groom the name of his master, +and he replied, "The Honorable Captain Buller." + +The very essence of all jealousy is that it is unreasoning. It is well +known that husbands--that much-believing and much-belied class--always +suspect every one but the right man; and now, without the faintest clew +to a suspicion, I grew actually sick with jealousy! + +Nor was it altogether blamable in me, for as I looked through the +uncurtained window, I could see the Captain, a fine-looking, rather +tigerish sort of fellow, standing with his back to the fireplace, while +he talked to Miss Herbert, who sat some distance off at a work-table. +There was in his air that amount of jaunty ease and self-possession that +said, "I 'm at home here; in this fortress I hold the chief command." +There was about him, too, the tone of an assumed superiority, which, +when displayed by a man towards a woman, takes the most offensive of all +possible aspects. + +As he talked, he moved at last towards a window, and, opening it, held +out his hand to feel if it were raining. + +"I hope," cried he, "you'll not send me back with a refusal; her +Ladyship counts upon you as the chief ornament of her ball." + +"We never do go to balls, sir," was the dry response. + +"But make this occasion the exception. If you only knew how lamentably +we are off for pretty people, you 'd pity us. Such garrison wives and +daughters are unknown to the oldest inhabitant of the island. Surely +Mrs. Keats will be quite well by Wednesday, and she 'll not be so cruel +as to deny you to us for this once." + +"I can but repeat my excuses,--I never go out." + +"If you say so, I think I'll abandon all share in the enterprise. It was +a point of honor with me to persuade you; in fact, I pledged myself to +succeed, and if you really persist in a refusal, I 'II just pitch all +these notes in the fire, and go off yachting till the whole thing is +over." And with this he drew forth a mass of notes from his sabretache, +and proceeded to con over the addresses: "'Mrs. Hilyard,' 'Mr. Barnes,' +'Mr. Clintosh,' 'Lady Bladgen.' Oh, Lady Blagden! Why, it would be worth +while coming only to see her and Sir John; and here are the Crosbys too; +and what have we here! Oh! this is a note from Grey. You don't know my +brother Grey,--he 'd amuse you immensely. Just listen to this, by way of +a letter of introduction:-- + +"'Dear George,--Cherish the cove that will hand you this note as +the most sublime snob I have ever met in all my home and foreign +experiences. In a large garrison like yours, you can have no difficulty +in finding fellows to give him a field-day. I commit him, therefore, to +your worthy keeping, to dine him, draw him forth, and pitch him out of +the window when you've done with him. No harm if it is from the topmost +story of the highest barrack in Malta. His name is Potts,--seriously and +truthfully Potts. Birth, parentage, and belongings all unknown to + +"'Yours ever,' + +"'Grey Buller.'" + +"You are unfortunate, sir, in confiding your correspondence to me," said +Kate, rising from her seat, "for that gentleman is a friend--a sincere +and valued friend--of my own, and you could scarcely have found a more +certain way to offend me than to speak of him slightingly." + +"You can't mean that you know him--ever met him?" + +"I know him and respect him, and I will not listen to one word to his +disparagement. Nay, more, sir, I will feel myself at liberty, if I think +it fitting, to tell Mr. Potts the honorable mode in which your brother +has discharged the task of an introduction, its good faith, and +gentlemanlike feeling." + +"Pray, let us have him at the mess first. Don't spoil our sport till we +have at least one evening out of him." + +But she did not wait for him to finish his speech, and left the room. + +It is but fair to own he took his reverses with great coolness; he +tightened his sword-belt, set his cap on his head before the glass, +stroked down his moustache, and then, lighting a cigar, swaggered off to +the door with the lounging swing of his order. + +As for myself, I hastened back to the town, and with such speed that +I traversed the mile in something like thirteen minutes. I had no very +clear or collected plan of action, but I resolved to ask Captain Rogers +to be my friend, and see me through this conjuncture. He had just dined +as I entered the coffee-room, and consented to have his brandy-and-water +removed to my bedroom while I opened my business with him. + +I will not, at this eleventh hour of revelations, inflict upon my reader +the details, but simply be satisfied to state that I found the skipper +far more practical than I looked for. He evidently, besides, had a taste +for these sort of adventures, and prided himself on his conduct of them. +"Go back now, and eat your dinner comfortably with your friends; leave +everything to me, and I promise you one thing,--the 'Cyclops' shall not +get full steam up till we have settled this small transaction." + + + + +CHAPTER XLVII. MY DUELLING AMBITION AGAIN DISAPPOINTED + +Though I was a few minutes late for dinner, Miss Herbert did not chide +me for delay. She was charming in her reception of me; nor was the +fascination diminished to me by feeling with what generous warmth she +had defended and upheld me. + +There is a marvellous charm in the being defended by one you love, +and of whose kind feeling towards you you had never dared to assure +yourself till the very moment that confirmed it. I don't know if I ever +felt in such spirits in my life. Not that I was gay or light-hearted so +much as happy,--happy in the sense of a self-esteem I had not known till +then. And what a spirit of cordial familiarity was there now between us! +She spoke to me of her daily life, its habits and even of its trials; +not complain-ingly nor fretfully,--far from it,--but in a way to imply +that these were the burdens meted out to all, and that none should +arrogantly imagine he was to escape the lot of his fellows. And then we +talked of the Croftons, of whom she was curious to hear details,--their +ages, appearance, manner, and so on; lastly, how I came to know them, +and thus imperceptibly led me to tell of myself and of my story. I am +sure that we each of us had enough of care upon our hearts, and yet +none would have ever guessed it to have seen how joyously and merrily we +laughed over some of the incidents of my checkered career. She bantered +me, too, on the feeble and wayward impulses by which I had suffered +myself to be moved, and gravely asked me, had I accomplished any single +one of all the objects I had set before my mind in starting. + +Far more earnestly, however, did we discuss the future. She heard +with joy that I had already secured a passage for Constantinople, and +declared that she could not dismiss from her mind the impression that +I was destined to aid their return to happiness and prosperity. I liked +the notion, too, of there being a fate in our first meeting; a fate in +that acquaintanceship with the Croftons, which gave the occasion to +seek her out again; and, last of all, if it might be so, a fate in the +influence I was to exercise over their fortunes. I was so absorbed in +these pleasant themes that I, with as little of the lion in my heart as +any man breathing, never once thought of the quarrel and its impending +consequences. How my heart beat as her soft breath fanned me while she +spoke! As she was telling me when and from whence I was to write to +her, the servant came to say that a gentleman outside begged to see Mr. +Potts. I hurried to the hail. + +"Not come to disturb you, Potts," said the skipper, in a brisk tone; +"only thought it best to make your mind easy. It's all right." + +"A thousand thanks, Captain," said I, warmly. "I knew when the +negotiation was in your hands it would be so." + +"Yes; his friend, a Major Colesby, boggled a bit at first Could n't see +the thing in the light I put it. Asked very often 'who were you?' asked, +too, 'who I was?' Good that! it made me laugh. Rather late in the day, +I take it, to ask who Bob Rogers is! But in the end, as I said, it all +comes right, quite right." + +"And his apology was full, ample, and explicit? Was it in writing, +Rogers? I 'd like it in writing." + +"Like what in writing." + +"His apology, or explanation, or whatever you like to call it." + +"Who ever spoke of such a thing? Who so much as dreamed of it? Haven't +I told you the affair is all right? and what does all right mean, +eh?--what does it mean?" + +"I know what it ought to mean," said I, angrily. + +"So do I, and so do most men in this island, sir. It means twelve +paces under the Battery wall, fire together, and as many shots as the +aggrieved asks for. That's all right, isn't it?" + +"In one sense it is so," said I, with a mock composure. + +"Well, that's the only sense I ever meant to consider it by. Go back now +to your tea, or your sugar-and-water, or whatever it is; and when you +come home to-night, step into my room, and we'll have a cosey chat and +a cigar. There 's one or two trifling things that I don't understand in +this affair, and I put my own explanation on them, and maybe it ain't +the right one. Not that it signifies _now_, you perceive, because +you are here to the fore, and can set them right. But as by this time +to-morrow you might be where--I won't mention'--we may as well put them +straight this evening." + +"I'll beat you up, depend upon it," said I, affecting a slap-dash style. +"I can't tell you how glad I am to have fallen into your hands, Rogers. +You suit me exactly." + +"Well, it's more than I expected when I saw you first, and I kept saying +to myself, 'Whatever could have persuaded Joe to send me a creature like +that?' To tell you the truth, I thought you were in the cheap funeral +line." + +"Droll dog!" said I, while my fingers were writhing and twisting with +passion. + +"Not that it's fair to take a fellow by his looks. I'm aware of that, +Potts. But go back to the parlor; that's the second time the maid has +come out to see what keeps you. Go back, and enjoy yourself; maybe you +won't have so pleasant an opportunity soon again." + +This was the parting speech of the wretch as he buttoned the collar of +his coat, and with a short nod bade me goodbye, and left me. + +"Why did you not ask your friend to take a cup of tea with us?'" said +Kate, as I re-entered the drawing-room. + +"Oh! it was the skipper, a rough sort of creature, not exactly made for +drawing-room life; besides, he only came to ask me a question." + +"I hope it was not a very unpleasant one, for you look pale and +anxious." + +"Nothing of the kind; a mere formal matter about my baggage." + +It was no use; from that moment, I was the most miserable of mankind. +What availed it to speculate any longer on the future? How could I +interest myself in what years might bring forth? Hours, and a very few +of them, were all that were left to me. Poor girl! how tenderly she +tried to divert my sorrow! She, most probably, ascribed it to the +prospect of our speedy separation; and with delicacy and tact, she +tried to trace out some faint outlines of what painters call "extreme +distance,"--a sort of future where all the skies would be rose-colored +and all the mountains blue. I am sure, if a choice had been given me +at that instant, I would rather have been a courageous man than the +greatest genius in the universe. I knew better what was before. At last +it came to ten o'clock, and I arose to say good-bye. I found it very +hard not to fall upon her neck and say, "Don't be angry with poor Potts; +this is his last as it is his first embrace." + +"Wear that ring for me and for my sake," said she, giving me one from +her finger; "don't refuse me,--it has no value save what you may attach +to it from having been mine." + +Oh dear! what a gulp it cost me not to say, "I 'll never take it off +while I live," and then add, "which will be about eight hours and a half +more." + +When I got into the open air, I ran as if a pack of wolves were in +pursuit of me. I cannot say why; but the rapid motion served to warm +my blood, so that when I reached the hotel, I felt more assured and more +resolute. + +Rogers was asleep, and so soundly that I had to pull the pillow from +beneath his head before I could awaken him; and when I had accomplished +the feat, either the remote effect of his brandy-and-water or his +drowsiness had so obscured his faculties, that all he could mumble +out was, "Hit him where he can't be spliced,--hit him where they +can't splice him!" I tried for a long time to recall him to sense +and intelligence, but I got nothing from him save the one inestimable +precept; and so I went to my room, and, throwing myself on my bed in +my cloak, prepared for a night of gloomy retrospect and gloomier +anticipation; but, odd enough, I was asleep the moment I lay down. + +"Get up, old fellow," cried Rogers, shaking me violently, just as the +dawn was breaking; "we 're lucky if we can get aboard before they catch +us." + +"What do you mean?" said I. "What's happened?" + +"The Governor has got wind of our shindy, and put all the red-coats in +arrest, and ordered the police to nab us too." + +"Bless him! bless him!" muttered I. + +"Ay, so say I. He be blessed!" cried he, catching up my words. "But let +us make off through the garden; my gig is down in the offing, and they +'ll pull in when they hear my whistle. Ain't it provoking,--ain't it +enough to make a man swear?" + +"I have no words for what I feel, Rogers," said I, bustling about to +collect my stray articles through the room. "If I ever chance upon that +Governor--he has only five years of it--I believe--" + +"Come along! I see the boat coming round the point yonder." And with +this we slipped noiselessly down the stairs, down the street, and gained +the Jetty. + +"Steam up?" asked the skipper, as he jumped into the gig. + +"Ay, ay, sir; and we're short on the anchor too." In less than half +an hour we were under weigh, and I don't think I ever admired a land +prospect receding from view with more intense delight than I did that, +my last glimpse of Malta. + + + + +CHAPTER XLVIII. FINAL ADVENTURES AND SETTLEMENT + +Our voyage had nothing remarkable to record; we reached Constantinople +in due course, and during the few days the "Cyclops" remained, I had +abundant time to discover that there was no trace of any one resembling +him I sought for. By the advice of Rogers, I accompanied him to Odessa. +There, too, I was not more fortunate; and though I instituted the most +persevering inquiries, all I could learn was that some Americans were +employed by the Russian Government in raising the frigates sunk at +Sebastopol, and that it was not impossible an Englishman, such as I +described, might have met an engagement amongst them. At all events, one +of the coasting craft was already at Odessa, and I went on board of her +to make my inquiry. I learned from the mate, who was a German, that they +had come over on rather a strange errand, which was to convey a corps of +circus people to Balaklava. The American contractor at that place, being +in want of some amusement, had arranged with these people to give some +weeks' performances there, but that, from an incident that had just +occurred, the project had failed. This was no less than the elopement of +the chief dancer, a young girl of great beauty, with a young prince of +Bavaria. It was rumored that he had married her, but my informant gave +little credence to this version, and averred that he had bought, +not only herself, but a favorite Old Arab horse she rode, for thirty +thousand piastres. I asked eagerly where the others of the corps were to +be found, and heard they had crossed over to Simoom, all broken up +and disjointed, the chief clown having died of grief after the girl's +flight. + +If I heard this tale rudely narrated, and not always with the sort of +comment that went with my sympathies, I sorrowed sincerely over it, for +I guessed upon whom these events had fallen, and recognized poor old +Vaterchen and the dark-eyed Tintefleck. + +"You 've fallen into the black melancholies these some days back," said +Rogers to me. "Rouse up, and take a cruise with me. I 'm going over to +Balaklava with these steam-boilers, and then to Sinope, and so back to +the Bosphorus. Come aboard to-night, it will do you good." + +I took his counsel, and at noon next day we dropped anchor at Balaklava. +We had scarcely passed our "health papers," when a boat came out with a +message to inquire if we had a doctor on board who could speak English, +for the American contractor had fallen from one of the scaffolds that +morning, and was lying dreadfully injured up at Sebastopol, but unable +to explain himself to the Russian surgeons. I was not without some small +skill in medicine; and, besides, out of common humanity, I felt it my +duty to set out, and at about sunset I reached Sebastopol. + +Being supposed to be a physician of great skill and eminence, I was +treated by all the persons about with much deference, and, after very +few minutes' delay, introduced into the room where the sick man lay. +He had ordered that when an English doctor could be found, they were to +leave them perfectly alone together; so that, as I entered, the door +was closed immediately, and I found myself alone by the bedside of the +sufferer. The curtain was closely drawn across the windows, and it was +already dusk, so that all I could discover was the figure of a man, who +lay breathing very heavily, and with the irregular action that implies +great pain. + +"Are you English?" said he, in a strong, full voice. "Well, feel that +pulse, and tell me if it means sinking; I suspect it does." + +I took his hand and laid my finger on the artery. It was beating +furiously,--far too fast to count, but not weakly nor faintly. + +"No," said I; "this is fever, but not debility." + +"I don't want subtleties," rejoined he, roughly. "I want to know am I +dying? Draw the curtain there, open the window full, and have a look at +me." + +I did as he bade me, and returned to the bedside. It was all I could do +not to cry out with astonishment; for, though terribly disfigured by his +wounds, his eyes actually covered by the torn scalp that hung over them, +I saw that it was Harpar lay before me, his large reddish beard now +matted and clotted with blood. + +"Well, what's the verdict?" cried he, sternly; "don't keep me in +suspense." + +"I do not perceive any grave symptoms so far--" + +"No cant, my good friend, no cant! It's out of place just now. Be +honest, and say what is it to be,--live or die?" + +"So far as I can judge, I say, live." + +"Well, then, set about the repairs at once. Ask for what you want,--they +'ll bring it." + +Deeming it better not to occasion any shock whatever to a man in his +state, I forbore declaring who I was, and set about my office with what +skill I could. + +With the aid of a Russian surgeon, who spoke German well, I managed to +dress the wounds and bandage the fractured arm, during which the patient +never spoke once, nor, indeed, seemed to be at all concerned in what was +going on. + +"You can stay here, I hope," said he to me, when all was finished. "At +least, you 'll see me through the worst of it I can afford to pay, and +pay well." + +"I 'll stay," said I, imitating his own laconic way; and no more was +said. + +Now, though it was not my intention to pass myself off for a physician, +or derive any, even the smallest advantage from the assumption of such a +character, I saw that, remote as the poor sufferer was from his friends +and country, and totally destitute of even companionship, it would have +been cruel to desert him until he was sufficiently recovered to be left +with servants. + +From his calm composure, and the self-control he was able to exercise, I +had formed a far too favorable opinion of his case. When I saw him first +the inflammatory symptoms had not yet set in; so that at my next visit I +found him in a high fever, raving wildly. In his wanderings he imagined +himself ever directing some gigantic enterprise, with hundreds of men at +his command, whose efforts he was cheering or chiding alternately. The +indomitable will of a most resolute nature was displayed in all he said; +and though his bodily sufferings must have been intense, he only alluded +to them to show how little power they had to arrest his activity. His +ever-recurring cry was, "It can be done, men! It can be done! See that +we do it!" + +I own that, even though stretched on a sick-bed and raving madly, this +man's unquenchable energy impressed me greatly; and I often fancied to +myself what must have been the resources of such a bold spirit in sad +contrast to a nature pliant and yielding like mine. To the violence of +the first access, there soon succeeded the far more dangerous state of +low fever, through which I never left him. Care and incessant watching +could alone save him, and I devoted myself to the last with the resolve +to make this effort the first of a new and changed existence. + +Day and night in the sick-room, I lost appetite and strength, while an +unceasing care preyed upon me and deprived me even of rest. The very +vacillations of the sick man's malady had affected my nerves, rendering +me overanxious, so that just as he had passed the great crisis of the +malady, I was stricken down with it myself. + +My first day of convalescence, after seven weeks of fever, found me +sitting at a little window that looked upon the sea, or rather the +harbor of Sebastopol, where two frigates and some smaller vessels were +at anchor. A group of lighters and such unpicturesque craft occupied +another part of the scene, engaged, as it seemed, in operations for +raising other vessels. It was in gazing for a long while at these, and +guessing their occupation, that I learned to trace out the past, and why +and how I had come to be sitting there. Every morning the German servant +who tended me through my illness used to bring me the "Herr Baron's" +compliments to know how I was, and now he came to say that as the "Herr +Baron" was able to walk so far, he begged that he might be permitted +to come and pay me a visit I was aware of the Russian custom of giving +titles to all who served the Government in positions of high trust, and +was therefore not astonished when the announcement of the "Herr Baron" +was followed by the entrance of Harpar, who, sadly reduced, and leaning +on a crutch, made his way slowly to where I sat. I attempted to rise to +receive him, but he cried out, half sternly,--"Sit still! we are neither +of us in good trim for ceremony." + +He motioned to the servants to leave us alone; then laying his wasted +hand in mine, for we were each too weak to' grasp the other, he said,-- + +"I know all about it It was you saved my life, and risked your own to do +it." + +I muttered out some unmeaning words--I know not well what--about duty +and the like. + +"I don't care a brass button for the motive. You stood to me like a +man." As he said this, he looked hard at me, and, shading the light with +his hand, peered into my face. "Have n't we met before this? Is not your +name Potts?" + +"Yes, and you're Harpar." + +He reddened, but so slightly that but for the previous paleness of his +sickly cheek it would not have been noticeable. + +"I have often thought about _you_." said he, musingly. "This is not the +only service you have done me; the first was at Lindau,--mayhap you have +forgotten it. You lent me two hundred florins, and, if I 'm not much +mistaken, when you were far from being rich yourself." + +He leaned his head on his hand, and seemed to have fallen into a musing +fit. + +"And, after all," said I, "of the best turn I ever did you, you have +never heard in your life, and, what is more, might never hear, if not +from myself. Do you remember an altercation on the road to Feldkirch, +with a man called Rigges?" + +"To be sure I do; he smashed the small-bone of this arm for me; but I +gave worse than I got. They never could find that bullet I sent into +his side, and he died of it at Palermo. But what share in this did you +bear?" + +"Not the worst nor the best; but I was imprisoned for a twelvemonth in +your place." + +"Imprisoned for _me?_" + +"Yes; they assumed that I was Harpar, and as I took no steps to +undeceive them, there I remained till they seemed to have forgotten all +about me." + +Harpar questioned me closely and keenly as to the reasons that prompted +this act of mine,--an act all the more remarkable, as, to use his own +words, "We were men who had no friendship for each other, actually +strangers; and," added he, significantly, "the sort of fellows who, +somehow, do not usually 'hit it off' together. You a man of leisure, +with your own dreamy mode of life; I, a hard worker, who could not enjoy +idleness; and in this sense, far more likely to hold each other cheaply +than otherwise." + +I attempted to account for this piece of devotion as best I might, but +not very successfully, since I was only endeavoring to explain what I +really did not well understand myself. Nor could a vague desire to +do something generous, merely because it _was_ generous, satisfy the +practical intelligence of him who heard me. + +"Well," said he, at last, "all that machinery you have described is so +new and strange to me, I can tell nothing as to how it ought to work; +but I'm as grateful to you as a man can be for a service which he could +not have rendered _himself_, nor has the slightest notion of what could +have prompted _you_ to do. Now, let me hear by what chance you came +here?" + +"You must listen to a long story to learn that," said I; and as he +declared that he had nothing more pressing to do with his time, I began, +almost as I have begun with my reader. On my first mention of Crofton, +he asked me to repeat the name; and when I spoke of meeting Miss Herbert +at the Milford station, he slightly moved his chair, as if to avoid the +strong light from the window; but from that moment till I finished, he +never interrupted me by a word, nor interposed a question. + +"And it was she gave you that old seal-ring I see on your finger?" said +he, at last. + +"Yes," said I. "How came you to guess that?" + +"Because _I_ gave it to her the day she was sixteen! I am her father." + +I drew a long breath, and could only clutch his arm with astonishment, +without being able to speak. + +"It's all well-known in England, now. Everybody has been paid in full, +my creditors have met in a body, and signed a request to me to come back +and recommence business. They have done more; they have bought up the +lease of the Foundry, and sent it out to me. Ay, and old Elkanah's +mortgage, too, is redeemed, and I don't owe a shilling." + +"You must have worked hard to accomplish all this?" + +"Pretty hard, no doubt. You remember those little boats with the holes +in 'em at Lindau. _They_ did the business for me. I was fool enough at +that time to imagine that you had got a clew to my discovery, and were +after me to pick up all the details. I ought to have known better! It +was easy enough to see that _you_ could have no head for anything with +a 'tough bone' in it. Light, thoughtless creatures of _your_ kind are +never dangerous anywhere!" + +I was not quite sure whether I was expected to return thanks for this +speech in my favor, and therefore only made some very unintelligible +mutterings. + +"There's only one liner now to be raised, and all the guns are already +out of her, but I can return to-morrow. I am free; my contract is +completed; and the 'Ignatief' sloop-of-war is at my orders at Balaklava +to convey me to any port I please in Europe." + +He said this so boastfully and so vaingloriously that I really felt +Potts in his humility was not the smaller man of the two. Nor, perhaps, +was my irritation the less, at seeing how little surprise our singular +meeting had caused him, and how much he regarded all I had done in his +behalf as being ordinary and commonplace services. But, perhaps, the +_coup de grace_ of my misery came as he said,-- + +"Though I forwarded that ten-pound note you lent me to Rome, perhaps you +'ll like to have it now. If you need any more, say so." + +My heart was in my mouth, and I felt that I 'd have died of starvation +rather than accept the humblest benefit at his hands. + +"Very well," said he to my refusal; "all the better that you 've no need +of cash, for, to tell the truth, Potts, you 're not much of a doctor, +nor are you very remarkable as a man of genius; and it is a kind thing +of Providence when such fellows as you are born with even a 'pewter +spoon' in their mouths." + +I nearly choked, but I said nothing. + +"If you 'd like me to land you anywhere in the Levant, or down towards +the Spanish coast, only tell me." + +"No, nothing of the kind. I 'm going north; I 'm going to Moscow, +to Tobolsk; I 'm going to Persia and Astrakhan," said I, in wildest +confusion. + +"Well, I can give you a capital travelling-cloak--it's one of those +buntas they make in the Banat, and you 'll need it, for they have +fearfully severe cold in those countries." + +With this, and not waiting my resolute refusal, he rose, hobbled out of +the room, and I--ay, there's no concealing it--burst out a-crying! + +Weak and sick as I was, I procured an "araba" that night, and, without +one word of adieu, set out for Krim. + +***** + +It was about two years after this--my father had died in the interval, +leaving me a small but sufficient fortune to live on, and I had just +arrived in Paris, after a long desultory ramble through the east of +Europe--I was standing, one morning early in one of the small alleys of +the Champs Élysées, watching with half-listless curiosity the various +grooms as they passed to exercise their horses in the Bois de Boulogne. +Group after group passed me of those magnificent animals in which Paris +is now more than the rival of London, and at length I was struck by the +appearance of a very smartly dressed groom, who led along beside him a +small-sized horse, completely sheeted and shrouded from view. Believing +that this must prove some creature of rare beauty, an Arab of purest +descent, I followed them as they went, and at last overtook them. + +The groom was English, and by my offer of a cigar, somewhat better than +the one he was smoking, he was very willing to satisfy my curiosity. + +"I suppose he has Arab blood in him," said he, half contemptuously; "but +he's forty years old now if he's a day. What they keep him for I don't +know, but they make as much work about him as if he was a Christian; and +as for myself, I have nothing else to do than walk him twice a day to +his exercise, and take care that his oats are well bruised and mixed +with linseed, for he hasn't a tooth left." + +"I suppose his master is some very rich man, who can afford himself a +caprice like this." + +"For the matter of money, he has enough of it. He is the Prince Ernest +Maximilian of Wurtemberg, and, except the Emperor, has the best stable +in all Paris. But I don't think that _he_ cares much for the old horse; +it's the _Princess_ likes him, and she constantly drives out to the wood +here, and when we come to a quiet spot, where there are no strangers, +she makes me take off all the body-clothes and the hood, and she 'll +get out of the carriage and pat him. And he knows her, that he does! and +lifts up that old leg of his when she comes towards him, and tries to +whinny too. But here she comes now, and it won't do if I 'm seen talking +to you; so just drop behind, sir, and never notice me." + +I crossed the road, and had but reached the opposite pathway, when a +carriage stopped, and the old horse drew up beside it. After a word +or two, the groom took off the hood, and there was Blondel! But my +amazement was lost in the greater shock that the Princess, whose +jewelled hand held out the sugar to him, was no other than Catinka! + +I cannot say with what motive I was impelled,--perhaps the action was +too quick for either,--but I drew nigh to the carriage, and, raising my +hat respectfully, asked if her highness would deign to remember an old +acquaintance. + +"I am unfortunate enough, sir, not to be able to recall you," said she, +in the most perfect Parisian French. + +"My name you may have forgotten, madam, but scarcely so either our first +meeting at Schaffhausen, or our last at Bregenz." + +"These are all riddles to me, sir; and I am sure you are too well bred +to persist in an error after you have recognized it to be such." With a +cold smile and a haughty bow, she motioned the coachman to drive on, and +I saw her no more. + +Stung to the very quick, but yet not without a misgiving that I might be +possibly mistaken, I hurried to the police department, where the list of +strangers was preserved. By sending in my card I was admitted to see +one of the chiefs of the department, who politely informed me that the +princess was totally unknown as to family, and not included in the Gotha +Almanack. + +"May I ask," said he, as I prepared to retire, "if this letter here--it +has been with us for more than a year--is for your address? It came with +an enclosure covering any possible expense in reaching your address, and +has lain here ever since." + +"Yes," said I, "my name is Algernon Sydney Potts." + +Strange are the changes and vicissitudes of life! Just as I stood there, +shocked and overwhelmed with one trait of cold ingratitude, I found a +letter from Kate (she who was once Kate Herbert), telling me how they +had sent messengers after me through Europe, and begging, if these lines +should ever reach me, to come to them in Wales. "My father loves you, my +mother longs to know you, and none can be more eager to thank you than +your friend Kate Whalley." + +I set off for England that night--I left for Wales the next morning--and +I have never quitted it since that day. + +THE END. + + + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of A Day's Ride, by Charles James Lever + +*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK A DAY'S RIDE *** + +***** This file should be named 32692-8.txt or 32692-8.zip ***** +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: + http://www.gutenberg.org/3/2/6/9/32692/ + +Produced by David Widger + +Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions +will be renamed. + +Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no +one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation +(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without +permission and without paying copyright royalties. Special rules, +set forth in the General Terms of Use part of this license, apply to +copying and distributing Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works to +protect the PROJECT GUTENBERG-tm concept and trademark. Project +Gutenberg is a registered trademark, and may not be used if you +charge for the eBooks, unless you receive specific permission. If you +do not charge anything for copies of this eBook, complying with the +rules is very easy. You may use this eBook for nearly any purpose +such as creation of derivative works, reports, performances and +research. They may be modified and printed and given away--you may do +practically ANYTHING with public domain eBooks. Redistribution is +subject to the trademark license, especially commercial +redistribution. + + + +*** START: FULL LICENSE *** + +THE FULL PROJECT GUTENBERG LICENSE +PLEASE READ THIS BEFORE YOU DISTRIBUTE OR USE THIS WORK + +To protect the Project Gutenberg-tm mission of promoting the free +distribution of electronic works, by using or distributing this work +(or any other work associated in any way with the phrase "Project +Gutenberg"), you agree to comply with all the terms of the Full Project +Gutenberg-tm License (available with this file or online at +http://gutenberg.org/license). + + +Section 1. General Terms of Use and Redistributing Project Gutenberg-tm +electronic works + +1.A. By reading or using any part of this Project Gutenberg-tm +electronic work, you indicate that you have read, understand, agree to +and accept all the terms of this license and intellectual property +(trademark/copyright) agreement. If you do not agree to abide by all +the terms of this agreement, you must cease using and return or destroy +all copies of Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works in your possession. +If you paid a fee for obtaining a copy of or access to a Project +Gutenberg-tm electronic work and you do not agree to be bound by the +terms of this agreement, you may obtain a refund from the person or +entity to whom you paid the fee as set forth in paragraph 1.E.8. + +1.B. "Project Gutenberg" is a registered trademark. It may only be +used on or associated in any way with an electronic work by people who +agree to be bound by the terms of this agreement. There are a few +things that you can do with most Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works +even without complying with the full terms of this agreement. See +paragraph 1.C below. There are a lot of things you can do with Project +Gutenberg-tm electronic works if you follow the terms of this agreement +and help preserve free future access to Project Gutenberg-tm electronic +works. See paragraph 1.E below. + +1.C. The Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation ("the Foundation" +or PGLAF), owns a compilation copyright in the collection of Project +Gutenberg-tm electronic works. Nearly all the individual works in the +collection are in the public domain in the United States. If an +individual work is in the public domain in the United States and you are +located in the United States, we do not claim a right to prevent you from +copying, distributing, performing, displaying or creating derivative +works based on the work as long as all references to Project Gutenberg +are removed. Of course, we hope that you will support the Project +Gutenberg-tm mission of promoting free access to electronic works by +freely sharing Project Gutenberg-tm works in compliance with the terms of +this agreement for keeping the Project Gutenberg-tm name associated with +the work. You can easily comply with the terms of this agreement by +keeping this work in the same format with its attached full Project +Gutenberg-tm License when you share it without charge with others. + +1.D. The copyright laws of the place where you are located also govern +what you can do with this work. Copyright laws in most countries are in +a constant state of change. If you are outside the United States, check +the laws of your country in addition to the terms of this agreement +before downloading, copying, displaying, performing, distributing or +creating derivative works based on this work or any other Project +Gutenberg-tm work. The Foundation makes no representations concerning +the copyright status of any work in any country outside the United +States. + +1.E. Unless you have removed all references to Project Gutenberg: + +1.E.1. The following sentence, with active links to, or other immediate +access to, the full Project Gutenberg-tm License must appear prominently +whenever any copy of a Project Gutenberg-tm work (any work on which the +phrase "Project Gutenberg" appears, or with which the phrase "Project +Gutenberg" is associated) is accessed, displayed, performed, viewed, +copied or distributed: + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + +1.E.2. If an individual Project Gutenberg-tm electronic work is derived +from the public domain (does not contain a notice indicating that it is +posted with permission of the copyright holder), the work can be copied +and distributed to anyone in the United States without paying any fees +or charges. If you are redistributing or providing access to a work +with the phrase "Project Gutenberg" associated with or appearing on the +work, you must comply either with the requirements of paragraphs 1.E.1 +through 1.E.7 or obtain permission for the use of the work and the +Project Gutenberg-tm trademark as set forth in paragraphs 1.E.8 or +1.E.9. + +1.E.3. If an individual Project Gutenberg-tm electronic work is posted +with the permission of the copyright holder, your use and distribution +must comply with both paragraphs 1.E.1 through 1.E.7 and any additional +terms imposed by the copyright holder. Additional terms will be linked +to the Project Gutenberg-tm License for all works posted with the +permission of the copyright holder found at the beginning of this work. + +1.E.4. Do not unlink or detach or remove the full Project Gutenberg-tm +License terms from this work, or any files containing a part of this +work or any other work associated with Project Gutenberg-tm. + +1.E.5. Do not copy, display, perform, distribute or redistribute this +electronic work, or any part of this electronic work, without +prominently displaying the sentence set forth in paragraph 1.E.1 with +active links or immediate access to the full terms of the Project +Gutenberg-tm License. + +1.E.6. You may convert to and distribute this work in any binary, +compressed, marked up, nonproprietary or proprietary form, including any +word processing or hypertext form. However, if you provide access to or +distribute copies of a Project Gutenberg-tm work in a format other than +"Plain Vanilla ASCII" or other format used in the official version +posted on the official Project Gutenberg-tm web site (www.gutenberg.org), +you must, at no additional cost, fee or expense to the user, provide a +copy, a means of exporting a copy, or a means of obtaining a copy upon +request, of the work in its original "Plain Vanilla ASCII" or other +form. Any alternate format must include the full Project Gutenberg-tm +License as specified in paragraph 1.E.1. + +1.E.7. Do not charge a fee for access to, viewing, displaying, +performing, copying or distributing any Project Gutenberg-tm works +unless you comply with paragraph 1.E.8 or 1.E.9. + +1.E.8. You may charge a reasonable fee for copies of or providing +access to or distributing Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works provided +that + +- You pay a royalty fee of 20% of the gross profits you derive from + the use of Project Gutenberg-tm works calculated using the method + you already use to calculate your applicable taxes. The fee is + owed to the owner of the Project Gutenberg-tm trademark, but he + has agreed to donate royalties under this paragraph to the + Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation. Royalty payments + must be paid within 60 days following each date on which you + prepare (or are legally required to prepare) your periodic tax + returns. Royalty payments should be clearly marked as such and + sent to the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation at the + address specified in Section 4, "Information about donations to + the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation." + +- You provide a full refund of any money paid by a user who notifies + you in writing (or by e-mail) within 30 days of receipt that s/he + does not agree to the terms of the full Project Gutenberg-tm + License. You must require such a user to return or + destroy all copies of the works possessed in a physical medium + and discontinue all use of and all access to other copies of + Project Gutenberg-tm works. + +- You provide, in accordance with paragraph 1.F.3, a full refund of any + money paid for a work or a replacement copy, if a defect in the + electronic work is discovered and reported to you within 90 days + of receipt of the work. + +- You comply with all other terms of this agreement for free + distribution of Project Gutenberg-tm works. + +1.E.9. If you wish to charge a fee or distribute a Project Gutenberg-tm +electronic work or group of works on different terms than are set +forth in this agreement, you must obtain permission in writing from +both the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation and Michael +Hart, the owner of the Project Gutenberg-tm trademark. Contact the +Foundation as set forth in Section 3 below. + +1.F. + +1.F.1. Project Gutenberg volunteers and employees expend considerable +effort to identify, do copyright research on, transcribe and proofread +public domain works in creating the Project Gutenberg-tm +collection. Despite these efforts, Project Gutenberg-tm electronic +works, and the medium on which they may be stored, may contain +"Defects," such as, but not limited to, incomplete, inaccurate or +corrupt data, transcription errors, a copyright or other intellectual +property infringement, a defective or damaged disk or other medium, a +computer virus, or computer codes that damage or cannot be read by +your equipment. + +1.F.2. LIMITED WARRANTY, DISCLAIMER OF DAMAGES - Except for the "Right +of Replacement or Refund" described in paragraph 1.F.3, the Project +Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation, the owner of the Project +Gutenberg-tm trademark, and any other party distributing a Project +Gutenberg-tm electronic work under this agreement, disclaim all +liability to you for damages, costs and expenses, including legal +fees. YOU AGREE THAT YOU HAVE NO REMEDIES FOR NEGLIGENCE, STRICT +LIABILITY, BREACH OF WARRANTY OR BREACH OF CONTRACT EXCEPT THOSE +PROVIDED IN PARAGRAPH F3. YOU AGREE THAT THE FOUNDATION, THE +TRADEMARK OWNER, AND ANY DISTRIBUTOR UNDER THIS AGREEMENT WILL NOT BE +LIABLE TO YOU FOR ACTUAL, DIRECT, INDIRECT, CONSEQUENTIAL, PUNITIVE OR +INCIDENTAL DAMAGES EVEN IF YOU GIVE NOTICE OF THE POSSIBILITY OF SUCH +DAMAGE. + +1.F.3. LIMITED RIGHT OF REPLACEMENT OR REFUND - If you discover a +defect in this electronic work within 90 days of receiving it, you can +receive a refund of the money (if any) you paid for it by sending a +written explanation to the person you received the work from. If you +received the work on a physical medium, you must return the medium with +your written explanation. The person or entity that provided you with +the defective work may elect to provide a replacement copy in lieu of a +refund. If you received the work electronically, the person or entity +providing it to you may choose to give you a second opportunity to +receive the work electronically in lieu of a refund. If the second copy +is also defective, you may demand a refund in writing without further +opportunities to fix the problem. + +1.F.4. Except for the limited right of replacement or refund set forth +in paragraph 1.F.3, this work is provided to you 'AS-IS' WITH NO OTHER +WARRANTIES OF ANY KIND, EXPRESS OR IMPLIED, INCLUDING BUT NOT LIMITED TO +WARRANTIES OF MERCHANTIBILITY OR FITNESS FOR ANY PURPOSE. + +1.F.5. Some states do not allow disclaimers of certain implied +warranties or the exclusion or limitation of certain types of damages. +If any disclaimer or limitation set forth in this agreement violates the +law of the state applicable to this agreement, the agreement shall be +interpreted to make the maximum disclaimer or limitation permitted by +the applicable state law. The invalidity or unenforceability of any +provision of this agreement shall not void the remaining provisions. + +1.F.6. INDEMNITY - You agree to indemnify and hold the Foundation, the +trademark owner, any agent or employee of the Foundation, anyone +providing copies of Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works in accordance +with this agreement, and any volunteers associated with the production, +promotion and distribution of Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works, +harmless from all liability, costs and expenses, including legal fees, +that arise directly or indirectly from any of the following which you do +or cause to occur: (a) distribution of this or any Project Gutenberg-tm +work, (b) alteration, modification, or additions or deletions to any +Project Gutenberg-tm work, and (c) any Defect you cause. + + +Section 2. Information about the Mission of Project Gutenberg-tm + +Project Gutenberg-tm is synonymous with the free distribution of +electronic works in formats readable by the widest variety of computers +including obsolete, old, middle-aged and new computers. It exists +because of the efforts of hundreds of volunteers and donations from +people in all walks of life. + +Volunteers and financial support to provide volunteers with the +assistance they need, are critical to reaching Project Gutenberg-tm's +goals and ensuring that the Project Gutenberg-tm collection will +remain freely available for generations to come. In 2001, the Project +Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation was created to provide a secure +and permanent future for Project Gutenberg-tm and future generations. +To learn more about the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation +and how your efforts and donations can help, see Sections 3 and 4 +and the Foundation web page at http://www.pglaf.org. + + +Section 3. Information about the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive +Foundation + +The Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation is a non profit +501(c)(3) educational corporation organized under the laws of the +state of Mississippi and granted tax exempt status by the Internal +Revenue Service. The Foundation's EIN or federal tax identification +number is 64-6221541. Its 501(c)(3) letter is posted at +http://pglaf.org/fundraising. Contributions to the Project Gutenberg +Literary Archive Foundation are tax deductible to the full extent +permitted by U.S. federal laws and your state's laws. + +The Foundation's principal office is located at 4557 Melan Dr. S. +Fairbanks, AK, 99712., but its volunteers and employees are scattered +throughout numerous locations. Its business office is located at +809 North 1500 West, Salt Lake City, UT 84116, (801) 596-1887, email +business@pglaf.org. Email contact links and up to date contact +information can be found at the Foundation's web site and official +page at http://pglaf.org + +For additional contact information: + Dr. Gregory B. Newby + Chief Executive and Director + gbnewby@pglaf.org + + +Section 4. Information about Donations to the Project Gutenberg +Literary Archive Foundation + +Project Gutenberg-tm depends upon and cannot survive without wide +spread public support and donations to carry out its mission of +increasing the number of public domain and licensed works that can be +freely distributed in machine readable form accessible by the widest +array of equipment including outdated equipment. Many small donations +($1 to $5,000) are particularly important to maintaining tax exempt +status with the IRS. + +The Foundation is committed to complying with the laws regulating +charities and charitable donations in all 50 states of the United +States. Compliance requirements are not uniform and it takes a +considerable effort, much paperwork and many fees to meet and keep up +with these requirements. We do not solicit donations in locations +where we have not received written confirmation of compliance. To +SEND DONATIONS or determine the status of compliance for any +particular state visit http://pglaf.org + +While we cannot and do not solicit contributions from states where we +have not met the solicitation requirements, we know of no prohibition +against accepting unsolicited donations from donors in such states who +approach us with offers to donate. + +International donations are gratefully accepted, but we cannot make +any statements concerning tax treatment of donations received from +outside the United States. U.S. laws alone swamp our small staff. + +Please check the Project Gutenberg Web pages for current donation +methods and addresses. Donations are accepted in a number of other +ways including checks, online payments and credit card donations. +To donate, please visit: http://pglaf.org/donate + + +Section 5. General Information About Project Gutenberg-tm electronic +works. + +Professor Michael S. Hart is the originator of the Project Gutenberg-tm +concept of a library of electronic works that could be freely shared +with anyone. For thirty years, he produced and distributed Project +Gutenberg-tm eBooks with only a loose network of volunteer support. + + +Project Gutenberg-tm eBooks are often created from several printed +editions, all of which are confirmed as Public Domain in the U.S. +unless a copyright notice is included. Thus, we do not necessarily +keep eBooks in compliance with any particular paper edition. + + +Most people start at our Web site which has the main PG search facility: + + http://www.gutenberg.org + +This Web site includes information about Project Gutenberg-tm, +including how to make donations to the Project Gutenberg Literary +Archive Foundation, how to help produce our new eBooks, and how to +subscribe to our email newsletter to hear about new eBooks. |