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+ <meta http-equiv="Content-Type" content="text/html;charset=iso-8859-1" />
+ <meta http-equiv="Content-Style-Type" content="text/css" />
+ <title>
+ The Project Gutenberg eBook of The Ordeal of Colonel Johns, by George H. Smith
+ </title>
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+<pre>
+
+Project Gutenberg's The Ordeal of Colonel Johns, by George H. Smith
+
+This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with
+almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or
+re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included
+with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org
+
+
+Title: The Ordeal of Colonel Johns
+
+Author: George H. Smith
+
+Illustrator: Rudolph Palais
+
+Release Date: June 4, 2010 [EBook #32688]
+
+Language: English
+
+Character set encoding: ISO-8859-1
+
+*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE ORDEAL OF COLONEL JOHNS ***
+
+
+
+
+Produced by Sankar Viswanathan, Greg Weeks, and the Online
+Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net
+
+
+
+
+
+
+</pre>
+
+
+<div class="tr"><p class="center">Transcriber's Note:</p>
+<p class="center">This etext was produced from IF Worlds of Science Fiction June 1954. Extensive research did not uncover any evidence that the U.S. copyright on this publication was renewed.</p></div>
+<p>&nbsp;</p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 400px;">
+<img class="img1" src="images/cover.jpg" width="400" height="572" alt="" title="" />
+</div>
+<p>&nbsp;</p>
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 400px;">
+<img class="img1" src="images/image_001.jpg" width="400" height="571" alt="" title="" />
+</div>
+<p>&nbsp;</p>
+
+<h1><i>The Ordeal of</i> COLONEL JOHNS</h1>
+<p>&nbsp;</p>
+<h2>By George H. Smith</h2>
+<p>&nbsp;</p>
+<h3>Illustrated by Rudolph Palais</h3>
+<p>&nbsp;</p>
+<div class="blockquot">
+<i>Colonel Johns, that famous Revolutionary War hero, had the
+unique&mdash;and painful&mdash;experience of meeting his
+great-great-great-great granddaughter. Now maybe you can't
+change history, but what's there to prevent a soldier from
+changing his mind about the gal he is going to marry?</i></div>
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<div class="figleft"><img src="images/image_c.jpg" alt="C" width="35" height="40" /></div>
+<p>lark Decker winced and scrounged still lower in his seat as Mrs.
+Appleby-Simpkin rested her enormous bosom on the front of the podium
+and smiled down on the Patriot Daughters of America in convention
+assembled as she announced: "And now, my dears, I will read you one
+more short quotation from Major Wicks' fascinating book 'The Minor
+Tactics of The American Revolution.' When I am finished, I know that
+you will all agree that Rebecca Johns-Hayes will be a more than
+fitting successor to myself as your President."</p>
+
+<p>Decker looked wildly about for a way of escape from the convention
+auditorium. If he had only remained in the anteroom with Professor
+MacCulloch and the Historical Reintegrator! After suffering through
+four days of speeches by ladies in various stages of mammalian
+top-heaviness, he hadn't believed it possible that anyone could top
+Mrs. Appleby-Simpkin for either sheer ability to bore or for the
+nobility of her bust. Mrs. Rebecca Johns-Hayes had come as something
+of a shock as she squirmed her way onto the speaker's platform. But
+there she was as big as life, or rather bigger, smiling at Mrs.
+Appleby-Simpkin, the Past President, beaming at Mrs. Lynd-Torris, a
+defeated candidate for the presidency and whose ancestor had been only
+a captain, and completely ignoring Mrs. Tolman, the other defeated
+candidate whose ancestor had been so inconsiderate as to have been a
+Continental sergeant. Only the thought that now that the voting was
+over and the new president chosen, the ladies might be ready for the
+demonstration of the Reintegrator had brought Decker onto the
+convention floor, and now he was trapped and would have to listen.</p>
+
+<p>"And so," Mrs. Appleby-Simpkin was reading, "upon such small events do
+the great moments of history depend. The brilliant scouting and
+skirmishing of the riflemen under Colonel Peter Johns prevented the
+breakthrough of Captain Fosdick's column and the possible flanking of
+the American army before Saratoga. Thus, this little known action may
+have been the deciding factor in the whole campaign that prevented
+General Burgoyne from carrying out the British plan to divide the
+colonies and end the war. It is impossible for the historian to
+refrain from speculation as to what might have happened had Colonel
+Johns not been on hand to direct the riflemen and militia in this
+section; as indeed he might <i>not</i> have been, since his own regiment of
+short-term enlistees had returned to Pennsylvania a few days
+previously. Only the Colonel's patriotism and devotion to duty kept
+him in the field and made his abilities available to the country when
+they were most needed."</p>
+
+<p>Mrs. Appleby-Simpkin waited until the burst of applause
+had died down and then continued, "That is the man whose
+great-great-great-great-granddaughter you have elected your
+president today ... Mrs. Rebecca Johns-Hayes!" Turning to Mrs.
+Johns-Hayes she went on, "Before you make your acceptance speech,
+dear, we have a little surprise for you."</p>
+
+<p>Clark Decker had been edging his way toward the side of the auditorium
+where the Men's Auxiliary of the Daughters had their seats but he
+turned back at the mention of the surprise. It sounded as though it
+was time for him and the Professor to start their demonstration.</p>
+
+<p>"A surprise which we hope will also be a surprise to the whole world
+of science," Mrs. Appleby-Simpkin was holding the podium against a
+determinedly advancing Mrs. Johns-Hayes. "Indeed we may be able to say
+in future years, that the 1989 Convention of the Patriot Daughters was
+marked by the first public demonstration of one of the most momentous
+inventions in the history of science." The Past President was speaking
+faster and faster, because the new President with a hand full of notes
+was doing her best to edge her away from both the podium and the
+microphone.</p>
+
+<p>"Thank you, darling," Mrs. Johns-Hayes said, pulling the microphone
+firmly toward her, "but we really must get along with business. I have
+quite a few things I want to say and several motions which I want to
+place before the Convention."</p>
+
+<p>"And as I was saying, dear," Mrs. Appleby-Simpkin said, pulling the
+microphone back with equal firmness, "I know that you will be just
+unbearably thrilled." There was another brief struggle for the mike and
+Mrs. Appleby-Simpkin won and went on. "I know that he will be just as
+proud of you as you are of him. That is why we have arranged for Professor
+MacCulloch to demonstrate his historical Reintegrator at our convention by
+bringing into our midst Colonel Peter Johns, the hero of the action at
+Temple Farm, to see his great-great-great-great-granddaughter installed as
+the fifty-fourth president of the Loyal Order of Patriot Daughters of
+America. Now I...." Mrs. Johns-Hayes again won control of the mike.</p>
+
+<p>"Thank you very much, dear." Her voice was a genteel screech. "I'm
+sure that we will be only too glad to have the ... who? Who did you
+say?" Mrs. Appleby-Simpkin regained the microphone from the other
+woman's relaxing grip.</p>
+
+<p>"I believe I see Mr. Decker, the Professor's assistant, in the
+audience," she said. "Will you be so good as to tell the Professor
+that we are ready for his epic-making experiment?"</p>
+
+<p>With a great feeling of relief, Decker escaped from the rising turmoil
+of the convention hall into the relative quiet of the anteroom where
+MacCulloch waited with the Reintegrator. He found the Professor
+sitting with his head in his hands staring at the machine. The little
+man looked up and smiled quizzically as his assistant approached him.</p>
+
+<p>"They're ready, Professor! They're ready!" Still under the influence
+of the convention, Decker found himself shouting.</p>
+
+<p>"Ah. Ah, yes. Then it will be today. I've waited so long. Ten years of
+work and now instead of a scientific gathering, I have to demonstrate
+my machine before a woman's club."</p>
+
+<hr style="width: 45%;" />
+<div class="figleft"><img src="images/image_d.jpg" alt="D" width="45" height="40" /></div>
+<p>ecker began to wheel the platform which held the Reintegrator toward the
+door. "After today, Professor, all the scientific organizations in the
+world will have heard of you and will be demanding demonstrations."</p>
+
+<p>"Yes, but these Patriot Daughters! Who are they? Who in the scientific
+world ever heard of them?"</p>
+
+<p>"No one except a few scientists unfortunate enough to fall afoul of
+their Loyalty and Conformity Committee."</p>
+
+<p>"I think we should have gone elsewhere for our demonstration."</p>
+
+<p>"Now Professor. Who in the world today would be interested in the past
+except a group of ancestor conscious women?"</p>
+
+<p>"Some historical society perhaps," the Professor said wistfully.</p>
+
+<p>"And what historical society could have advanced the twenty thousand
+dollars we needed to complete the machine?"</p>
+
+<p>"I suppose you're right, my boy," MacCulloch sighed as he helped push
+the Reintegrator onto the auditorium floor.</p>
+
+<p>By the time Clark Decker reached the platform to explain the
+demonstration, the fight for the microphone had turned into a
+three-way struggle. A lady who represented the Finance Committee was
+trying to win it away from both the Past President and the new
+President.</p>
+
+<p>Taking them by surprise, Decker managed to gain control long enough to
+explain what was about to happen.</p>
+
+<p>"You mean," demanded Mrs. Johns-Hayes, "that this is some sort of time
+machine and you're going to transport great-great-great-great-grandfather
+from the past into the present?"</p>
+
+<p>"No, Mrs. Hayes. This isn't a time machine in the comic book use of
+the term. It is just what Professor MacCulloch has called it, an
+historical Reintegrator. The theory upon which it is based, the
+MacCulloch Reaction, says that every person who ever existed, and
+every event which ever took place caused electrical disturbances in
+the space-time continuum of the universe by displacing an equal and
+identical group of electrons. The task of the Reintegrator is to
+reassemble those electrons. That is why Professor MacCulloch is now
+placing your ancestor's sword in the machine. We will use that as a
+base point from which our recreation will begin."</p>
+
+<p>The machine was humming and small lights were beginning to play about
+its tubes and dials. "If our calculations are accurate, and we believe
+that they are," Decker said, "within a very few minutes, Colonel Johns
+should be standing before us as he was on a day approximately a week
+before his heroic action in the battle at Temple Farm."</p>
+
+<p>Mrs. Johns-Hayes, although still gripping her notes, was beginning to
+get a little flustered. "Oh my, that would be before he married
+great-great-great-great-grandmother Sayles. They were married only two
+days before the battle, you know. It was so romantic ... a wartime
+romance and all."</p>
+
+<p>"Just imagine," Mrs. Tolman remarked, "at that time your whole family
+was just a gleam in the Colonel's eye!"</p>
+
+<p>Professor MacCulloch made one or two last passes at the machine and
+then stood back to watch, a look of pure scientific ecstasy on his
+face. A mistiness began to gather on the platform where the Colonel's
+sword lay and through it from time to time shot sparks of electricity.
+Suddenly a gasp went up from the assembled Daughters as a man's head
+and shoulders appeared and expanded downward, a long way downward, to
+a large pair of feet. There was one last hum from the machine and then
+a tall young man in faded blue regimentals and very much in need of a
+shave was standing blinking in the blazing lights of the auditorium.</p>
+
+<p>"Oh, Mr. Decker, surely there's some mistake!" was Mrs. Johns-Hayes'
+first comment as she surveyed the very tall, very tattered, and very
+dirty young man. "Great-great-great-great-grandfather's pictures
+always show him as a dignified old gentleman."</p>
+
+<p>The Colonel took one quick look around and made a grab for his sword, but
+the Professor managed to calm him and to explain the situation before any
+violence could take place. After a few minutes of hurried talk, MacCulloch
+steered the Colonel in the direction of the speaker's platform for the
+meeting with his great-great-great-great-granddaughter.</p>
+
+<p>Peter Johns' bewilderment faded into astonishment, but he still
+gripped his sword as the Professor guided him through the throngs of
+excited ladies onto the stage. He paused momentarily to look at the
+brilliant lights and at the huge number of American flags which hung
+overhead. A picture of George Washington, hung among the flags, seemed
+to reassure him and he allowed the Professor to lead him to Mrs.
+Johns-Hayes.</p>
+
+<p>That lady had drawn herself together at the approach of her ancestor and
+had obviously decided to carry it off as best she could. She advanced to
+meet him crying, "Dear, dear great-great-great-great-grandfather! This is
+such a pleasure! You can't know how proud all of us in the family have
+always been of you."</p>
+
+<p>The young Continental officer stared open mouthed at the red-faced,
+big-bosomed woman who was twice his age, but who addressed him as
+great-great-great-great-grandfather. Then he turned to MacCulloch who
+stood beside him. "Are you sure you have the right man?" he asked.</p>
+
+<p>"Oh yes! Perfectly, perfectly! You're Colonel Peter Johns of Pamworth,
+Pennsylvania, and this is your great-great-great-great-granddaughter,
+Rebecca Johns-Hayes."</p>
+
+<p>"Rebecca? You mean she's named after Becky Sayles?" The Colonel rubbed
+a hand across his several days' growth of beard.</p>
+
+<p>"That's right, dear great-great-great-great-grandfather. I'm named
+after great-great-great-great-grandmother," Mrs. Johns-Hayes
+announced.</p>
+
+<p>"Then I married Becky Sayles?" the Colonel asked.</p>
+
+<p>"Why, of course! Aren't you planning on getting married in a few
+days?" Clark Decker asked.</p>
+
+<p>The Colonel was embarrassed but he grinned, "Well, I don't rightly
+know. Miss Sayles and I have been courtin' for some months but there's
+little Jennie Taylor down in Trenton.... To tell the truth, I haven't
+quite made up my mind."</p>
+
+<p>"Well! Of all things! What would the family think! What would great
+Aunt Mary Hayes say?" Mrs. Johns-Hayes puffed out even farther than
+usual.</p>
+
+<p>"Well, we can ease your mind on that subject, Colonel. The history
+books say that you married Miss Sayles&mdash;and here is Mrs. Johns-Hayes
+to prove it."</p>
+
+<p>The Colonel scratched his chin again as he looked at Mrs. Johns-Hayes.
+"Is that so? Is that so? What's all this about history books? You mean
+I got in history because I married Becky Sayles?"</p>
+
+<p>The Professor laughed. "Well, not exactly. It was because of your
+heroism in the defeat of Burgoyne's army. If you hadn't blocked
+Captain Fenwick's flanking move at Temple Farm, the American army
+under General Gates might have been defeated and the Colonies might
+even have lost the war."</p>
+
+<p>"Well, I'll be.... Me? I did all that? I didn't even know there was
+going to be a battle. Did I end up a live hero or a dead one?" The
+Colonel was beginning to feel a bit more easy in his surroundings,
+and, to the horror of Mrs. Johns-Hayes, took a plug of tobacco out of
+his pocket and bit off a piece and began to chew it.</p>
+
+<p>"You came through the battle with only a slight wound and lived to a
+ripe old age surrounded by grandchildren," the Professor told him.</p>
+
+<p>"Then I reckon I won't go back to Pennsylvania with the other boys.
+They figure that since their enlistments are up, it's time to get back
+to the farm and let them New Yorkers do some of their own fighting."</p>
+
+<p>"Oh no! You weren't thinking of going back&mdash;of leaving the fighting?"
+Mrs. Johns-Hayes demanded.</p>
+
+<p>The Colonel shifted his wad of tobacco and looked at the woman
+carefully as though he couldn't quite believe the evidence of his
+eyes. "No, ma'am, I don't reckon I am. I don't exactly look on it the
+same as the other boys do. I kind of feel like if we're ever going to
+have a country, it's worth fighting for."</p>
+
+<p>Mrs. Johns-Hayes beamed, as did all the other officers of the
+Daughters. "Well, your faith and heroism have been rewarded,
+great-great-great-great-grandfather. I know you'll be proud to know
+that these ladies whom you see before you are the present guardians of
+the ideals that you fought for."</p>
+
+<p>"Well, now, is that so, ma'am? Is that so?" Peter Johns looked around
+the convention hall in amazement.</p>
+
+<p>"And that I, your descendant, have just been elected their President!"</p>
+
+<p>"Well, what do you know about that! Maybe all the hard times and the
+danger we been going through is worth it if you folks still remember
+the way we felt about things."</p>
+
+<p>"It's too bad," Decker whispered to MacCulloch, "that we can't let him
+see what the country is really like. I'm not sure these ladies are
+representative."</p>
+
+<p>There was a worried look on the Professor's face. "That's impossible.
+The reintegration is good for only an hour or so. I hope nothing goes
+wrong here."</p>
+
+<p>Mrs. Appleby-Simpkin took charge of the Colonel and ushered him to a
+seat of honor near the podium while the new President prepared to
+deliver her speech. Decker and the professor managed to obtain seats
+on either side of Johns just as Rebecca started. He managed to whisper
+to them, "I'm sure amazed! I'm sure amazed! All these nice old ladies
+feeling the same way about things as we do."</p>
+
+<hr style="width: 45%;" />
+<div class="figleft"><img src="images/image_d.jpg" alt="D" width="45" height="40" /></div>
+<p>ecker had a premonition of trouble as Mrs. Hayes' words poured forth.
+He had hoped for a cut and dried acceptance speech with nothing but
+the usual patriotic platitudes, but, as she went on his worst fears
+were realized. Inspired by the presence of her ancestor, the woman was
+going into superlatives about the purposes and aims of the Patriot
+Daughters. She covered everything from the glories of her ancestry to
+the morals of the younger generation and women in politics.</p>
+
+<p>Decker watched the Colonel's face, saw it changed from puzzlement to
+painful boredom as word after word floated from the battery of
+speakers overhead.</p>
+
+<p>MacCulloch was whispering in Johns' ear in an attempt to draw his
+attention from the woman's booming voice but the man disregarded him.
+"Am I really responsible for that?" The Colonel jerked his head in the
+direction of Mrs. Johns-Hayes.</p>
+
+<p>"I'm afraid, Colonel, that you're getting a distorted idea of what
+America is like in our time," Decker said. The Colonel didn't even
+turn to look at him. He was scowling at his Amazonian descendant as
+her screeching reached new heights.</p>
+
+<p>"... and we hold that this is true! Our simple motto, as you all know,
+is: One race, one creed, one way of thinking!"</p>
+
+<p>Colonel Johns began to squirm violently in his seat. The professor
+found it necessary to grasp him firmly by one arm while Decker held
+him by the other.</p>
+
+<p>The president of the Patriot Daughters had finished her speech amidst
+thunderous applause and started to present suggestions for the
+formation of new committees, for the passing of new by-laws and for
+resolutions.</p>
+
+<p>"A committee should be formed to see that the public parks are
+properly policed to prevent so-called 'spooners' from pursuing their
+immoral behaviour.</p>
+
+<p>"A new by-law is needed," and here Mrs. Hayes glanced aside at Mrs.
+Tolman, "to prevent members being accepted unless their forebears were
+lieutenants or of higher rank in the glorious Continental army."</p>
+
+<p>The Colonel was a strong man and both Decker and MacCulloch were older
+than he. With something between a snort and a roar he shook them loose
+and started for the exit.</p>
+
+<p>"Oh my," MacCulloch moaned, "I was afraid that this whole thing was a
+mistake."</p>
+
+<p>Colonel Johns had taken only two steps toward the door when he seemed
+to stagger. MacCulloch leaped to his side and caught him by the arm.
+There was an uproar in the auditorium as the Colonel faded slightly
+and the professor hurried him down the steps toward the Reintegrator.</p>
+
+<p>"I'm afraid the Colonel isn't going to be with us much longer," the
+professor explained.</p>
+
+<p>Thank goodness, Decker thought, I don't believe the poor man could
+have stood it much longer.</p>
+
+<p>"I'm afraid the reintegration time of Colonel Johns is running out and
+he must return to his own time," the professor went on.</p>
+
+<p>The grim-faced Colonel said nothing as MacCulloch led him up to the
+machine.</p>
+
+<p>"Goodbye, great-great-great-great-grandfather," Mrs. Johns-Hayes
+called from the platform. "It has been so nice having you with us."</p>
+
+<p>"Goodbye, Rebecca," the Colonel said as he began to fade away.</p>
+
+<p>"Give my regards to great-great-great-great-grandmother."</p>
+
+<p>The figure in the dirty, faded blue uniform was gone but Decker and
+MacCulloch heard him mutter just before he disappeared altogether, "I
+will, if I ever see her again!"</p>
+
+<p>MacCulloch turned to stare at the platform and Decker turned to follow
+his gaze. A sudden dizziness overcame them both and there was a slight
+haze about the auditorium. When it cleared, the podium was empty. Mrs.
+Johns-Hayes was gone as if she had never been.</p>
+
+<p>"My God!," the professor gasped. "I was afraid something like this
+might happen. He must have married the other girl."</p>
+
+<p>"I suppose," Decker said quietly, "that we should consider ourselves
+lucky that he didn't decide to go back to Pennsylvania." His voice
+broke off and he wondered what he had been saying. He looked up at the
+speakers' platform trying to remember why he should think it strange
+that it was draped in Union Jacks and that Lady Appleby-Simpkin should
+be saying, "And now, my dears, I know that all of you, as Loyal
+Daughters of the British Empire will be happy to know...."</p>
+
+<p class="p1">... THE END</p>
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+<pre>
+
+
+
+
+
+End of Project Gutenberg's The Ordeal of Colonel Johns, by George H. Smith
+
+*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE ORDEAL OF COLONEL JOHNS ***
+
+***** This file should be named 32688-h.htm or 32688-h.zip *****
+This and all associated files of various formats will be found in:
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+</pre>
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+</body>
+</html>
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+Project Gutenberg's The Ordeal of Colonel Johns, by George H. Smith
+
+This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with
+almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or
+re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included
+with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org
+
+
+Title: The Ordeal of Colonel Johns
+
+Author: George H. Smith
+
+Illustrator: Rudolph Palais
+
+Release Date: June 4, 2010 [EBook #32688]
+
+Language: English
+
+Character set encoding: ASCII
+
+*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE ORDEAL OF COLONEL JOHNS ***
+
+
+
+
+Produced by Sankar Viswanathan, Greg Weeks, and the Online
+Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+ Transcriber's Note:
+
+ This etext was produced from IF Worlds of Science Fiction June 1954.
+ Extensive research did not uncover any evidence that the U.S.
+ copyright on this publication was renewed.
+
+
+ [Illustration]
+
+
+ _The Ordeal of_ COLONEL JOHNS
+
+
+ By George H. Smith
+
+
+ Illustrated by Rudolph Palais
+
+
+ _Colonel Johns, that famous Revolutionary War hero, had the
+ unique--and painful--experience of meeting his
+ great-great-great-great granddaughter. Now maybe you can't
+ change history, but what's there to prevent a soldier from
+ changing his mind about the gal he is going to marry?_
+
+ * * * * *
+
+
+
+
+Clark Decker winced and scrounged still lower in his seat as Mrs.
+Appleby-Simpkin rested her enormous bosom on the front of the podium
+and smiled down on the Patriot Daughters of America in convention
+assembled as she announced: "And now, my dears, I will read you one
+more short quotation from Major Wicks' fascinating book 'The Minor
+Tactics of The American Revolution.' When I am finished, I know that
+you will all agree that Rebecca Johns-Hayes will be a more than
+fitting successor to myself as your President."
+
+Decker looked wildly about for a way of escape from the convention
+auditorium. If he had only remained in the anteroom with Professor
+MacCulloch and the Historical Reintegrator! After suffering through
+four days of speeches by ladies in various stages of mammalian
+top-heaviness, he hadn't believed it possible that anyone could top
+Mrs. Appleby-Simpkin for either sheer ability to bore or for the
+nobility of her bust. Mrs. Rebecca Johns-Hayes had come as something
+of a shock as she squirmed her way onto the speaker's platform. But
+there she was as big as life, or rather bigger, smiling at Mrs.
+Appleby-Simpkin, the Past President, beaming at Mrs. Lynd-Torris, a
+defeated candidate for the presidency and whose ancestor had been only
+a captain, and completely ignoring Mrs. Tolman, the other defeated
+candidate whose ancestor had been so inconsiderate as to have been a
+Continental sergeant. Only the thought that now that the voting was
+over and the new president chosen, the ladies might be ready for the
+demonstration of the Reintegrator had brought Decker onto the
+convention floor, and now he was trapped and would have to listen.
+
+"And so," Mrs. Appleby-Simpkin was reading, "upon such small events do
+the great moments of history depend. The brilliant scouting and
+skirmishing of the riflemen under Colonel Peter Johns prevented the
+breakthrough of Captain Fosdick's column and the possible flanking of
+the American army before Saratoga. Thus, this little known action may
+have been the deciding factor in the whole campaign that prevented
+General Burgoyne from carrying out the British plan to divide the
+colonies and end the war. It is impossible for the historian to
+refrain from speculation as to what might have happened had Colonel
+Johns not been on hand to direct the riflemen and militia in this
+section; as indeed he might _not_ have been, since his own regiment of
+short-term enlistees had returned to Pennsylvania a few days
+previously. Only the Colonel's patriotism and devotion to duty kept
+him in the field and made his abilities available to the country when
+they were most needed."
+
+Mrs. Appleby-Simpkin waited until the burst of applause
+had died down and then continued, "That is the man whose
+great-great-great-great-granddaughter you have elected your
+president today ... Mrs. Rebecca Johns-Hayes!" Turning to Mrs.
+Johns-Hayes she went on, "Before you make your acceptance speech,
+dear, we have a little surprise for you."
+
+Clark Decker had been edging his way toward the side of the auditorium
+where the Men's Auxiliary of the Daughters had their seats but he
+turned back at the mention of the surprise. It sounded as though it
+was time for him and the Professor to start their demonstration.
+
+"A surprise which we hope will also be a surprise to the whole world
+of science," Mrs. Appleby-Simpkin was holding the podium against a
+determinedly advancing Mrs. Johns-Hayes. "Indeed we may be able to say
+in future years, that the 1989 Convention of the Patriot Daughters was
+marked by the first public demonstration of one of the most momentous
+inventions in the history of science." The Past President was speaking
+faster and faster, because the new President with a hand full of notes
+was doing her best to edge her away from both the podium and the
+microphone.
+
+"Thank you, darling," Mrs. Johns-Hayes said, pulling the microphone
+firmly toward her, "but we really must get along with business. I have
+quite a few things I want to say and several motions which I want to
+place before the Convention."
+
+"And as I was saying, dear," Mrs. Appleby-Simpkin said, pulling the
+microphone back with equal firmness, "I know that you will be just
+unbearably thrilled." There was another brief struggle for the mike and
+Mrs. Appleby-Simpkin won and went on. "I know that he will be just as
+proud of you as you are of him. That is why we have arranged for Professor
+MacCulloch to demonstrate his historical Reintegrator at our convention by
+bringing into our midst Colonel Peter Johns, the hero of the action at
+Temple Farm, to see his great-great-great-great-granddaughter installed as
+the fifty-fourth president of the Loyal Order of Patriot Daughters of
+America. Now I...." Mrs. Johns-Hayes again won control of the mike.
+
+"Thank you very much, dear." Her voice was a genteel screech. "I'm
+sure that we will be only too glad to have the ... who? Who did you
+say?" Mrs. Appleby-Simpkin regained the microphone from the other
+woman's relaxing grip.
+
+"I believe I see Mr. Decker, the Professor's assistant, in the
+audience," she said. "Will you be so good as to tell the Professor
+that we are ready for his epic-making experiment?"
+
+With a great feeling of relief, Decker escaped from the rising turmoil
+of the convention hall into the relative quiet of the anteroom where
+MacCulloch waited with the Reintegrator. He found the Professor
+sitting with his head in his hands staring at the machine. The little
+man looked up and smiled quizzically as his assistant approached him.
+
+"They're ready, Professor! They're ready!" Still under the influence
+of the convention, Decker found himself shouting.
+
+"Ah. Ah, yes. Then it will be today. I've waited so long. Ten years of
+work and now instead of a scientific gathering, I have to demonstrate
+my machine before a woman's club."
+
+ * * * * *
+
+Decker began to wheel the platform which held the Reintegrator toward the
+door. "After today, Professor, all the scientific organizations in the
+world will have heard of you and will be demanding demonstrations."
+
+"Yes, but these Patriot Daughters! Who are they? Who in the scientific
+world ever heard of them?"
+
+"No one except a few scientists unfortunate enough to fall afoul of
+their Loyalty and Conformity Committee."
+
+"I think we should have gone elsewhere for our demonstration."
+
+"Now Professor. Who in the world today would be interested in the past
+except a group of ancestor conscious women?"
+
+"Some historical society perhaps," the Professor said wistfully.
+
+"And what historical society could have advanced the twenty thousand
+dollars we needed to complete the machine?"
+
+"I suppose you're right, my boy," MacCulloch sighed as he helped push
+the Reintegrator onto the auditorium floor.
+
+By the time Clark Decker reached the platform to explain the
+demonstration, the fight for the microphone had turned into a
+three-way struggle. A lady who represented the Finance Committee was
+trying to win it away from both the Past President and the new
+President.
+
+Taking them by surprise, Decker managed to gain control long enough to
+explain what was about to happen.
+
+"You mean," demanded Mrs. Johns-Hayes, "that this is some sort of time
+machine and you're going to transport great-great-great-great-grandfather
+from the past into the present?"
+
+"No, Mrs. Hayes. This isn't a time machine in the comic book use of
+the term. It is just what Professor MacCulloch has called it, an
+historical Reintegrator. The theory upon which it is based, the
+MacCulloch Reaction, says that every person who ever existed, and
+every event which ever took place caused electrical disturbances in
+the space-time continuum of the universe by displacing an equal and
+identical group of electrons. The task of the Reintegrator is to
+reassemble those electrons. That is why Professor MacCulloch is now
+placing your ancestor's sword in the machine. We will use that as a
+base point from which our recreation will begin."
+
+The machine was humming and small lights were beginning to play about
+its tubes and dials. "If our calculations are accurate, and we believe
+that they are," Decker said, "within a very few minutes, Colonel Johns
+should be standing before us as he was on a day approximately a week
+before his heroic action in the battle at Temple Farm."
+
+Mrs. Johns-Hayes, although still gripping her notes, was beginning to
+get a little flustered. "Oh my, that would be before he married
+great-great-great-great-grandmother Sayles. They were married only two
+days before the battle, you know. It was so romantic ... a wartime
+romance and all."
+
+"Just imagine," Mrs. Tolman remarked, "at that time your whole family
+was just a gleam in the Colonel's eye!"
+
+Professor MacCulloch made one or two last passes at the machine and
+then stood back to watch, a look of pure scientific ecstasy on his
+face. A mistiness began to gather on the platform where the Colonel's
+sword lay and through it from time to time shot sparks of electricity.
+Suddenly a gasp went up from the assembled Daughters as a man's head
+and shoulders appeared and expanded downward, a long way downward, to
+a large pair of feet. There was one last hum from the machine and then
+a tall young man in faded blue regimentals and very much in need of a
+shave was standing blinking in the blazing lights of the auditorium.
+
+"Oh, Mr. Decker, surely there's some mistake!" was Mrs. Johns-Hayes'
+first comment as she surveyed the very tall, very tattered, and very
+dirty young man. "Great-great-great-great-grandfather's pictures
+always show him as a dignified old gentleman."
+
+The Colonel took one quick look around and made a grab for his sword, but
+the Professor managed to calm him and to explain the situation before any
+violence could take place. After a few minutes of hurried talk, MacCulloch
+steered the Colonel in the direction of the speaker's platform for the
+meeting with his great-great-great-great-granddaughter.
+
+Peter Johns' bewilderment faded into astonishment, but he still
+gripped his sword as the Professor guided him through the throngs of
+excited ladies onto the stage. He paused momentarily to look at the
+brilliant lights and at the huge number of American flags which hung
+overhead. A picture of George Washington, hung among the flags, seemed
+to reassure him and he allowed the Professor to lead him to Mrs.
+Johns-Hayes.
+
+That lady had drawn herself together at the approach of her ancestor and
+had obviously decided to carry it off as best she could. She advanced to
+meet him crying, "Dear, dear great-great-great-great-grandfather! This is
+such a pleasure! You can't know how proud all of us in the family have
+always been of you."
+
+The young Continental officer stared open mouthed at the red-faced,
+big-bosomed woman who was twice his age, but who addressed him as
+great-great-great-great-grandfather. Then he turned to MacCulloch who
+stood beside him. "Are you sure you have the right man?" he asked.
+
+"Oh yes! Perfectly, perfectly! You're Colonel Peter Johns of Pamworth,
+Pennsylvania, and this is your great-great-great-great-granddaughter,
+Rebecca Johns-Hayes."
+
+"Rebecca? You mean she's named after Becky Sayles?" The Colonel rubbed
+a hand across his several days' growth of beard.
+
+"That's right, dear great-great-great-great-grandfather. I'm named
+after great-great-great-great-grandmother," Mrs. Johns-Hayes
+announced.
+
+"Then I married Becky Sayles?" the Colonel asked.
+
+"Why, of course! Aren't you planning on getting married in a few
+days?" Clark Decker asked.
+
+The Colonel was embarrassed but he grinned, "Well, I don't rightly
+know. Miss Sayles and I have been courtin' for some months but there's
+little Jennie Taylor down in Trenton.... To tell the truth, I haven't
+quite made up my mind."
+
+"Well! Of all things! What would the family think! What would great
+Aunt Mary Hayes say?" Mrs. Johns-Hayes puffed out even farther than
+usual.
+
+"Well, we can ease your mind on that subject, Colonel. The history
+books say that you married Miss Sayles--and here is Mrs. Johns-Hayes
+to prove it."
+
+The Colonel scratched his chin again as he looked at Mrs. Johns-Hayes.
+"Is that so? Is that so? What's all this about history books? You mean
+I got in history because I married Becky Sayles?"
+
+The Professor laughed. "Well, not exactly. It was because of your
+heroism in the defeat of Burgoyne's army. If you hadn't blocked
+Captain Fenwick's flanking move at Temple Farm, the American army
+under General Gates might have been defeated and the Colonies might
+even have lost the war."
+
+"Well, I'll be.... Me? I did all that? I didn't even know there was
+going to be a battle. Did I end up a live hero or a dead one?" The
+Colonel was beginning to feel a bit more easy in his surroundings,
+and, to the horror of Mrs. Johns-Hayes, took a plug of tobacco out of
+his pocket and bit off a piece and began to chew it.
+
+"You came through the battle with only a slight wound and lived to a
+ripe old age surrounded by grandchildren," the Professor told him.
+
+"Then I reckon I won't go back to Pennsylvania with the other boys.
+They figure that since their enlistments are up, it's time to get back
+to the farm and let them New Yorkers do some of their own fighting."
+
+"Oh no! You weren't thinking of going back--of leaving the fighting?"
+Mrs. Johns-Hayes demanded.
+
+The Colonel shifted his wad of tobacco and looked at the woman
+carefully as though he couldn't quite believe the evidence of his
+eyes. "No, ma'am, I don't reckon I am. I don't exactly look on it the
+same as the other boys do. I kind of feel like if we're ever going to
+have a country, it's worth fighting for."
+
+Mrs. Johns-Hayes beamed, as did all the other officers of the
+Daughters. "Well, your faith and heroism have been rewarded,
+great-great-great-great-grandfather. I know you'll be proud to know
+that these ladies whom you see before you are the present guardians of
+the ideals that you fought for."
+
+"Well, now, is that so, ma'am? Is that so?" Peter Johns looked around
+the convention hall in amazement.
+
+"And that I, your descendant, have just been elected their President!"
+
+"Well, what do you know about that! Maybe all the hard times and the
+danger we been going through is worth it if you folks still remember
+the way we felt about things."
+
+"It's too bad," Decker whispered to MacCulloch, "that we can't let him
+see what the country is really like. I'm not sure these ladies are
+representative."
+
+There was a worried look on the Professor's face. "That's impossible.
+The reintegration is good for only an hour or so. I hope nothing goes
+wrong here."
+
+Mrs. Appleby-Simpkin took charge of the Colonel and ushered him to a
+seat of honor near the podium while the new President prepared to
+deliver her speech. Decker and the professor managed to obtain seats
+on either side of Johns just as Rebecca started. He managed to whisper
+to them, "I'm sure amazed! I'm sure amazed! All these nice old ladies
+feeling the same way about things as we do."
+
+ * * * * *
+
+Decker had a premonition of trouble as Mrs. Hayes' words poured forth.
+He had hoped for a cut and dried acceptance speech with nothing but
+the usual patriotic platitudes, but, as she went on his worst fears
+were realized. Inspired by the presence of her ancestor, the woman was
+going into superlatives about the purposes and aims of the Patriot
+Daughters. She covered everything from the glories of her ancestry to
+the morals of the younger generation and women in politics.
+
+Decker watched the Colonel's face, saw it changed from puzzlement to
+painful boredom as word after word floated from the battery of
+speakers overhead.
+
+MacCulloch was whispering in Johns' ear in an attempt to draw his
+attention from the woman's booming voice but the man disregarded him.
+"Am I really responsible for that?" The Colonel jerked his head in the
+direction of Mrs. Johns-Hayes.
+
+"I'm afraid, Colonel, that you're getting a distorted idea of what
+America is like in our time," Decker said. The Colonel didn't even
+turn to look at him. He was scowling at his Amazonian descendant as
+her screeching reached new heights.
+
+"... and we hold that this is true! Our simple motto, as you all know,
+is: One race, one creed, one way of thinking!"
+
+Colonel Johns began to squirm violently in his seat. The professor
+found it necessary to grasp him firmly by one arm while Decker held
+him by the other.
+
+The president of the Patriot Daughters had finished her speech amidst
+thunderous applause and started to present suggestions for the
+formation of new committees, for the passing of new by-laws and for
+resolutions.
+
+"A committee should be formed to see that the public parks are
+properly policed to prevent so-called 'spooners' from pursuing their
+immoral behaviour.
+
+"A new by-law is needed," and here Mrs. Hayes glanced aside at Mrs.
+Tolman, "to prevent members being accepted unless their forebears were
+lieutenants or of higher rank in the glorious Continental army."
+
+The Colonel was a strong man and both Decker and MacCulloch were older
+than he. With something between a snort and a roar he shook them loose
+and started for the exit.
+
+"Oh my," MacCulloch moaned, "I was afraid that this whole thing was a
+mistake."
+
+Colonel Johns had taken only two steps toward the door when he seemed
+to stagger. MacCulloch leaped to his side and caught him by the arm.
+There was an uproar in the auditorium as the Colonel faded slightly
+and the professor hurried him down the steps toward the Reintegrator.
+
+"I'm afraid the Colonel isn't going to be with us much longer," the
+professor explained.
+
+Thank goodness, Decker thought, I don't believe the poor man could
+have stood it much longer.
+
+"I'm afraid the reintegration time of Colonel Johns is running out and
+he must return to his own time," the professor went on.
+
+The grim-faced Colonel said nothing as MacCulloch led him up to the
+machine.
+
+"Goodbye, great-great-great-great-grandfather," Mrs. Johns-Hayes
+called from the platform. "It has been so nice having you with us."
+
+"Goodbye, Rebecca," the Colonel said as he began to fade away.
+
+"Give my regards to great-great-great-great-grandmother."
+
+The figure in the dirty, faded blue uniform was gone but Decker and
+MacCulloch heard him mutter just before he disappeared altogether, "I
+will, if I ever see her again!"
+
+MacCulloch turned to stare at the platform and Decker turned to follow
+his gaze. A sudden dizziness overcame them both and there was a slight
+haze about the auditorium. When it cleared, the podium was empty. Mrs.
+Johns-Hayes was gone as if she had never been.
+
+"My God!," the professor gasped. "I was afraid something like this
+might happen. He must have married the other girl."
+
+"I suppose," Decker said quietly, "that we should consider ourselves
+lucky that he didn't decide to go back to Pennsylvania." His voice
+broke off and he wondered what he had been saying. He looked up at the
+speakers' platform trying to remember why he should think it strange
+that it was draped in Union Jacks and that Lady Appleby-Simpkin should
+be saying, "And now, my dears, I know that all of you, as Loyal
+Daughters of the British Empire will be happy to know...."
+
+ ... THE END
+
+ * * * * *
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+End of Project Gutenberg's The Ordeal of Colonel Johns, by George H. Smith
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