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diff --git a/.gitattributes b/.gitattributes new file mode 100644 index 0000000..6833f05 --- /dev/null +++ b/.gitattributes @@ -0,0 +1,3 @@ +* text=auto +*.txt text +*.md text diff --git a/32687-h.zip b/32687-h.zip Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..1f940b3 --- /dev/null +++ b/32687-h.zip diff --git a/32687-h/32687-h.htm b/32687-h/32687-h.htm new file mode 100644 index 0000000..aabc47e --- /dev/null +++ b/32687-h/32687-h.htm @@ -0,0 +1,2528 @@ +<!DOCTYPE html PUBLIC "-//W3C//DTD XHTML 1.0 Strict//EN" + "http://www.w3.org/TR/xhtml1/DTD/xhtml1-strict.dtd"> +<!-- $Id: header.txt 236 2009-12-07 18:57:00Z vlsimpson $ --> + +<html xmlns="http://www.w3.org/1999/xhtml" xml:lang="en" lang="en"> + <head> + <meta http-equiv="Content-Type" content="text/html;charset=iso-8859-1" /> + <meta http-equiv="Content-Style-Type" content="text/css" /> + <title> + The Project Gutenberg eBook of The Colonists, by Raymond F. 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Jones + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: The Colonists + +Author: Raymond F. Jones + +Illustrator: Paul Orban + +Release Date: June 4, 2010 [EBook #32687] + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ISO-8859-1 + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE COLONISTS *** + + + + +Produced by Greg Weeks, Mary Meehan and the Online +Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net + + + + + + +</pre> + + + +<div class="figcenter"> +<img src="images/cover.jpg" alt=""/> +</div> + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> + + + + + +<h1>THE COLONISTS</h1> + +<h2>By Raymond F. Jones</h2> + +<h3>Illustrated by Paul Orban</h3> + +<p>[Transcriber Note: This etext was produced from IF Worlds of Science +Fiction June 1954. Extensive research did not uncover any evidence that +the U.S. copyright on this publication was renewed.]</p> + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> + +<div class="sidenote"><i>If historical precedent be wrong—what qualities, then, must +man possess to successfully colonize new worlds? Doctor Ashby said: +"There is no piece of data you cannot find, provided you can devise the +proper experimental procedure for turning it up." Now—about the man and +the procedure....</i></div> + + +<p>This was the rainy year. Last year had been the dry one, and it would +come again. But they wouldn't be here to see it, Captain Louis Carnahan +thought. They had seen four dry ones, and now had come the fourth wet +one, and soon they would be going home. For them, this was the end of +the cycle.</p> + +<p>At first they had kept track of the days, checking each one off on their +calendars, but the calendars had long since been mingled +indistinguishably with the stuff of the planet itself—along with most +of the rest of their equipment. By that time, however, they had learned +that the cycle of wet and dry seasons was almost precisely equivalent to +a pair of their own Terran years, so they had no more need for the +calendars.</p> + +<p>But at the beginning of this wet season Carnahan had begun marking off +the days once again with scratches on the post of the hut in which he +lived. The chronometers were gone, too, but one and three-quarters Earth +days equalled one Serrengian day, and by that he could compute when the +ships from Earth were due.</p> + +<p>He had dug moats about the hut to keep rain water from coming in over +his dirt floor. Only two of the walls were erected, and he didn't know +or much care whether he would get the other two up or not. Most of the +materials had blown away during the last dry period and he doubted very +much that he would replace them. The two available walls were cornered +against the prevailing winds. The roof was still in good shape, allowing +him a sufficient space free of leaks to accommodate his cooking and the +mat which he called a bed.</p> + +<p>He picked up a gourd container from the rough bench in the center of the +room and took a swallow of the burning liquid. From the front of the hut +he looked out over the rain swept terrain at the circle of huts. +Diametrically across from him he could see Bolinger, the little +biologist, moving energetically about. Bolinger was the only one who had +retained any semblance of scientific interest. He puttered continually +over his collection, which had grown enormously over the eight year +period.</p> + +<p>When they got back, Bolinger at least would have some accomplishment to +view with pride. The rest of them—?</p> + +<p>Carnahan laughed sharply and took another big swallow from the gourd, +feeling the fresh surge of hot liquor already crossing the portals of +his brain, bringing its false sense of wisdom and clarity. He knew it +was false, but it was the only source of wisdom he had left, he told +himself.</p> + +<p>He staggered back to the bed with the gourd. He caught a glimpse of his +image in the small steel mirror on the little table at the end of the +bed. Pausing to stare, he stroked the thick mat of beard and ran his +fingers through the mane of hair that had been very black when he came, +and was now a dirty silver grey.</p> + +<p>He hadn't looked at himself for a long time, but now he had to. He had +to know what they would see when the ships of Earth came to pick up the +personnel of the Base and leave another crew. The image made him sick.</p> + +<p>At the beginning of this final season of the rains, all his life before +coming to Serrengia seemed like a dream that had never been real. Now it +was coming back, as if he were measuring the final distance of a circle +and approaching once again his starting point. He kept remembering more +and more. Watching his image in the mirror, he remembered what General +Winthrop had said on the day of their departure. "The pick of Earth's +finest," the General said. "We have combed the Earth and you are the men +we have chosen to represent Mankind in the far reaches of the Universe. +Remember that wherever you go, there goes the honor of Mankind. Do not, +above all, betray that honor."</p> + +<p>Carnahan clenched his teeth in bitterness. He wished old fatty Winthrop +had come with them. Savagely he upended the gourd and flung it across +the room. It meant a trip to Bailey's hut to get it replenished. Bailey +had been the Chief Physicist. Now he was the official distiller, and the +rotgut he produced was the only thing that made existence bearable.</p> + +<p>The Captain stared again at his own image. "Captain Louis Carnahan," he +murmured aloud. "The pick of Earth's finest—!" He smashed a fist at the +little metal mirror and sent it flying across the room. The table +crashed over, one feeble leg twisting brokenly. Then Carnahan hunched +over with his face buried against the bed. His fists beat against it +while his shoulders jerked in familiar, drunken sobs.</p> + +<p>After it was over he raised up, sitting on the edge of the bed. His mind +burned with devastating clarity. It seemed for once he could remember +everything that had ever happened to him. He remembered it all. He +remembered his childhood under the bright, pleasant sky of Earth. He +remembered his ambition to be a soldier, which meant spaceman, even +then. He remembered his first flight, a simple training tour of the Moon +installations. It convinced him that never again could he consider +himself an Earthman in the sense of one who dwells upon the Earth. His +realm was the sky and the stars. Not even the short period when he had +allowed himself to be in love had changed his convictions. He had +sacrificed everything his career demanded.</p> + +<p>Where had it gone wrong? How could he have allowed himself to forget? +For years he had forgotten, he realized in horror. He had forgotten that +Earth existed. He had forgotten how he came to be here, and why. And all +that he was meant to accomplish had gone undone. For years the +scientific work of the great base expedition had been ignored. Only the +little biologist across the way, pecking at his tasks season after +season, had accomplished anything.</p> + +<p>And now the ships were coming to demand an accounting.</p> + +<p>He groaned aloud as the vision became more terrible. He thought of that +day when they had arrived at the inhospitable and uninhabited world of +Serrengia. He could close his eyes and see it again—the four tall ships +standing on the plateau that was scarred by their landing. The men had +been so proud of what they had done and would yet do. They could see +nothing to defeat them as they unloaded the mountains of equipment and +supplies.</p> + +<p>Now that same equipment lay oozing in the muck of leafy decomposition, +corroded and useless like the men themselves. And in the dry seasons it +had been alternately buried and blasted by the sands and the winds.</p> + +<p>He remembered exactly the day and the hour when they had cracked beyond +all recovery. With an iron hand he had held them for three years. Weekly +he demanded an appearance in full dress uniform, and hard discipline in +all their relationships was the rule. Then one day he let the dress +review go. They had come in from a long trek through a jungle that was +renewing itself after a dry season. Too exhausted in body and spirit, +and filled with an increasing sense of futility, he abandoned for the +moment the formalities he had held to.</p> + +<p>After that it was easy. They fell apart all around him. He tried to hold +them, settling quarrels that verged on mutiny. Then in the sixth month +of the fourth year he had to kill with his own hands the first of his +crazed and rebellious crew. The scientific work disintegrated and was +abandoned. He remembered he had locked up all their notes and +observations and charts, but where he had hidden the metal chest was one +of the few things he seemed unable to recall.</p> + +<p>The more violent of the expedition killed each other off, or wandered +into the jungle or desert and never came back. On the even dozen who +were left there had settled a kind of monastic hermitage. Each man kept +to himself, aware that a hairbreadth trespass against his neighbor would +mean quick challenge to the death. Yet they clung to membership in this +degenerate community as if it represented their last claim to humanness.</p> + +<p>This is what they would see though. They would see his personal failure. +It <i>was</i> his, there was no question of that. If he had been strong he +could have held the expedition together. He could have maintained the +base in all the strength and honor of military tradition that had been +entrusted to him. He hadn't been strong enough.</p> + +<p>The ships would come. The four of them. They might come tomorrow or even +today. A panic crept through him. The ships could land at any time now, +and their men would come marching out to greet him in his failure and +cowardice and his dishonor. It must not happen. Old fatty Winthrop had +said one thing that made sense: "—there goes the honor of Mankind. Do +not, above all, betray that honor."</p> + +<p>Fatty was right. The only thing he had left was honor, and in only one +way could he retain it.</p> + +<p>With the fiery clarity burning in his brain he struggled from where he +lay and picked up the metallic mirror and hung it from the post near the +bed. He turned up the broken table against the wall. Then, with the air +of one who has not been on the premises for a long time he began +searching through the long unused chests stacked in the corner. The +contents were for the most part in a state of decay, but he found his +straight edged razor in the oiled pouch where he had last placed it.</p> + +<p>There should have been shaving detergent, but he couldn't find it. He +contented himself with preparing hot water, then slowly and painfully +hacked the thick beard away and scraped his face clean. He found a comb +and raked it through his tangled mat of hair, arranging it in some vague +resemblance to the cut he used to wear.</p> + +<p>From the chests he drew forth the dress uniform he had put away so long +ago. Fortunately, it had been in the center, surrounded by other +articles so that it was among the best preserved of his possessions. He +donned it in place of the rags he wore. The shoes were almost completely +hard from lack of care, but he put them on anyway and brushed the toes +with a scrap of cloth.</p> + +<p>From underneath his bed he took his one possession which he had kept in +meticulous repair, his service pistol. Then he stood up, buttoning and +smoothing his coat, and smiled at himself in the little mirror. But his +gaze shifted at once to something an infinity away.</p> + +<p>"'Do not, above all, betray that honor.' At least you gave us one good +piece of advice, fatty," he said.</p> + +<p>Carefully, he raised the pistol to his head.</p> + +<hr style="width: 45%;" /> + +<p>Hull number four was erect and self-supporting. Its shell enclosure was +complete except for necessary installation openings. And in Number One +the installations were complete and the ship's first test flight was +scheduled for tomorrow morning.</p> + +<p>John Ashby looked from the third story window of his office toward the +distant assembly yards on the other side of the field. The four hulls +stood like golden flames in the afternoon sunlight. Ashby felt defeated +by the speed with which the ships were being completed. It was almost as +if the engineers had a special animosity toward him, which they +expressed in their unreasonable speed of construction. This was +nonsense, of course. They had a job to do and were proud if they could +cut time from their schedule.</p> + +<p>But there was no cutting time from <i>his</i> schedule, and without the +completion of his work the ships would not fly. He had to find men +capable of taking them on their fantastic journeys. To date, he had +failed.</p> + +<p>He glanced down at the black car with government markings, which had +driven in front of the building a few moments before, and then he heard +Miss Haslam, his secretary, on the interphone. "The Colonization +Commission, Dr. Ashby."</p> + +<p>He turned from the window. "Have them come in at once," he said.</p> + +<p>He strode to the door and shook hands with each of the men. Only four of +them had come: Mr. Merton, Chairman; General Winthrop; Dr. Cowper; and +Dr. Boxman.</p> + +<p>"Please have seats over here by the window," Ashby suggested.</p> + +<p>They accepted and General Winthrop stood a moment looking out. "A +beautiful sight, aren't they, Ashby?" he said. "They get more beautiful +every day. You ought to get over more often. Collins says you haven't +been around the place for weeks, and Number One is going up tomorrow."</p> + +<p>"We've had too much to occupy us here."</p> + +<p>"<i>My</i> men are ready," said the General pointedly. "We could supply a +dozen crews to take those ships to Serrengia and back, and man the base +there."</p> + +<p>Ashby turned away, ignoring the General's comment. He took a chair at +the small conference table where the three Commissioners had seated +themselves. Winthrop followed, settling in his chair with a smile, as if +he had scored a major point.</p> + +<p>"Number One is ready," said Merton, "and still you have failed to offer +us a single man, Dr. Ashby. The Commission feels that the time is very +near when definite action will have to be taken. We have your reports, +but we wanted a personal word with you to see if we couldn't come to +some understanding as to what we can expect."</p> + +<p>"I will send you the men when I find out what kind of man we need," said +Ashby. "Until then there had better be no thought of releasing the +colonization fleet. I will not be responsible for any but the right +answers to this problem."</p> + +<p>"We are getting to the point," said Boxman, "where we feel forced to +consider the recommendations of General Winthrop. Frankly, we have never +been able to fully understand your objections."</p> + +<p>"There'll never be a time when I cannot supply all the men needed to +establish this base," said Winthrop. "We spend unlimited funds and years +of time training personnel for posts of this kind, yet you insist on +looking for unprepared amateurs. It makes no sense whatever, and only +because you have been given complete charge of the personnel program +have you been able to force your views on the Commission. But no one +understands you. In view of your continued failure, the Commission is +going to be forced to make its own choice."</p> + +<p>"My resignation may be had at any time," said Ashby.</p> + +<p>"No, no, Dr. Ashby." Merton held up his hand. "The General is perhaps +too impulsive in his disappointment that you have failed us so far, but +we do not ask for your resignation. We do ask if there is not some way +in which you might see fit to use the General's men in manning the +base."</p> + +<p>"The whole answer lies in the erroneous term you persist in applying to +this project," said Ashby. "It is not a base, and never will be. We +propose to set up a colony. It makes an enormous difference with respect +to the kind of men required. We've been over this before—"</p> + +<p>"But not enough," snapped Winthrop. "We'll continue to go over it until +you understand you can't waste those ships on a bunch of half-baked +idealists inspired by some noble nonsense about carrying on the torch of +human civilization beyond the stars. We're putting up a base, to gather +scientific data and establish rights of occupancy."</p> + +<p>"I don't think I agree with your description of my proposed party of +colonists," said Ashby mildly.</p> + +<p>"That's what they'll be! Were colonists ever anything but psalm singing +rebels or cutthroats trying to escape hanging? You're not going to +establish a cultural and scientific base with such people."</p> + +<p>"No, you're quite right. That's not the kind."</p> + +<p>"What is it you're looking for?" said Merton irritably. "What kind of +men do you want, if you can't find them among the best and the worst +humanity offers."</p> + +<p>"Your terms are hardly accurate," said Ashby. "You fail to recognize the +fact that we have never known what kind of man it takes to colonize. You +ignore the fact that we have never yet successfully colonized the +planets of our own Solar System. Bases, yes—but all our colonies have +failed to date."</p> + +<p>"What better evidence could you ask for in support of my argument?" +demanded Winthrop. "We've <i>proved</i> bases are practical, and that +colonies are not."</p> + +<p>"No matter how far away or how long the periods of rotation, a man +assigned to a base expects to return home. Night or day, in the +performance of any duty, there is in his mind as a working background +the recognition that at some future time he can go home. His base is +never his home."</p> + +<p>"Precisely. That is what makes the base successful."</p> + +<p>Ashby shook his head. "No base is ever successful from the standpoint of +permanent extension of a civilization. By its very nature it is +transitory, impermanent. That is not what we want now."</p> + +<p>"We have the concept of permanent bases in military thinking," said +Winthrop. "You can't generalize in that fashion."</p> + +<p>"Name for me a single military or expeditionary base that continued its +permanency over any extended period of history."</p> + +<p>"Well—now—"</p> + +<p>"The concept is invalid," said Ashby. "Extensions of humanity from one +area to another on a permanent basis are made by colonists. Men who do +not expect to rotate, but come to live and establish homes. This is what +we want on Serrengia. Humanity is preparing to make an extension of +itself in the Universe.</p> + +<p>"But more than this, there are limitations of time and distance in the +establishment of bases, which cannot be overcome by any amount of +training of personnel. Cycles of rotation and distances from home can be +lengthened beyond the capacity of men to endure. It is only when they go +out with <i>no</i> expectation of return that time and distance cease to +control them."</p> + +<p>"We do not know of any such limitations," said Winthrop. "They have not +been met here in the Solar System."</p> + +<p>"We know them," said Ashby. "The thing we have not found and which we +must discover before those ships depart is the quality that makes it +possible for a man to ignore time and distance and his homeland. We know +a good deal about the successful colonists of Earth's history. We know +that invariably they were of some minority group which felt itself +persecuted or limited by conditions surrounding it, or else they were +fleeing the results of some crime."</p> + +<p>"If that is what you are looking for, it is no wonder you have failed," +said Dr. Cowper. "We have no such minority groups in our society."</p> + +<p>"Very true," Ashby replied. "But it is not the condition of fleeing or +being persecuted that generates the qualities of a perfect colonist by +any means! We have examples enough of adequately persecuted groups who +failed as colonists. But there is some quality, which seems to appear, +if at all, only in some of those who have courage enough to flee their +oppression or limiting conditions. This quality makes them successful in +their colonization.</p> + +<p>"We are looking first, therefore, for individuals who would have the +courage to resist severe limitations to the extent of flight, if such +limitations existed. And among these we hope to find the essence of that +which makes it possible for a man to cut all ties with his homeland."</p> + +<p>"So you are making your search," said Merton, "among the potentially +rebellious and criminal?"</p> + +<p>Ashby nodded. "We have confined our study to these individuals as a +result of strict historical precedent so that we might narrow the search +as much as possible. You must understand, however, that to choose merely +the rebellious and staff our ships with these would be foolhardy. It +would be a ridiculous shotgun technique. <i>Some</i> of them would succeed, +but we would never know which it would be. We might send twenty or a +thousand ships out and establish one successful colony.</p> + +<p>"We have to do much better than that. Our consumption of facilities on +this project is so great that we have to <i>know</i>, within a negligible +margin of error, that when these groups are visited in eight or fifty +years from now we will find a community of cooperative, progressive +human beings. We cannot be satisfied with less!"</p> + +<p>"I'm afraid the majority of sentiment in the Commission is not in +agreement with you," said Mr. Merton. "To oppose General Winthrop's +trained crews with selected cutthroats and traitors may have historical +precedent, but it scarcely seems the optimum procedure in this case!</p> + +<p>"We are willing to be shown proof of your thesis, Dr. Ashby, but we have +certain realities of which we are sure. If we can do no better, we shall +take the best available to us at the time the ships are ready. If you +cannot supply us with proven crews and colonists by then we shall be +forced to accept General Winthrop's recommendations and choose personnel +whose reactions are at least known and predictable to a high degree. I'm +sorry, but surely you can understand our position in this matter."</p> + +<p>For a long time Ashby was silent, looking from one to the other of the +faces about the table. Then he spoke in a low voice, as if having +reached the extremity of his resources. "Yes—the reactions of +Winthrop's men are indeed known. I suggest that you come with me and I +will show you what those reactions are."</p> + +<p>He stood up and the others followed with inquiring expressions on their +faces. Winthrop made a short, jerky motion of his head, as if he +detected a hidden sting in Ashby's words. "What do you mean by that?" he +demanded.</p> + +<p>"You don't suppose that our examinations would neglect the men on whom +you have spent so much time and effort in training?"</p> + +<p>The General flushed with rage. "If you've tampered with any of my men—! +You had no right—!"</p> + +<p>The other Commission members were smiling in faint amusement at the +General's discomfiture.</p> + +<p>"I should think it would be to your advantage to check the results of +your training," said Mr. Merton.</p> + +<p>"There is only one possible check!" exclaimed General Winthrop. "Put +these men on a base for a period of eight years and at a distance of +forty seven light years from home and see what they will do. That is the +only way you can check on them."</p> + +<p>"And if you know anything about our methods of testing, you will +understand that this, in effect, is what we have done. Your best man is +about to be released from the test pit. He can't have more than an hour +to go."</p> + +<p>"Who have you got in your guinea pig pen?" the General demanded. "If +you've ruined him—"</p> + +<p>"Captain Louis Carnahan," said Ashby. "Shall we go down, gentlemen?"</p> + +<hr style="width: 45%;" /> + +<p>It had been a grisly business, watching the final minutes of Carnahan's +disintegration. General Winthrop's face was almost purple when he saw +the test pit in which Carnahan was being examined. He tried to tear out +the observation lens with his bare hands as he saw the Captain lift the +loaded pistol to his head in the moment before the safety beam cut in.</p> + +<p>And now Ashby kept hearing Winthrop's furious, scathing voice: "You have +destroyed one of the best men the Service has ever produced! I'll have +your hide for this, Ashby, if it's the last act of my life."</p> + +<p>Merton and the others had been shocked also by the violence and +degradation of what they saw, but whether he had made his point or not, +Ashby didn't know. Carnahan, of course, would be returned to the Service +within twenty four hours, all adverse effects of the test completely +removed. He would be aware that he had taken it and had not passed, but +there would be no trace of the bitter emotions generated during those +days of examination.</p> + +<p>Ashby looked out again at the four hulls now turning from gold to red as +the sun dropped lower in the sky. He had not asked Merton if the +ultimatum was going to stick. He wondered how they could insist on it +after what they had seen, but he didn't <i>know</i>.</p> + +<p>Impatiently, he turned from the window as Miss Haslam's voice came on +the intercom once more. "Dr. Ashby, Mr. Jorden is still waiting to see +you."</p> + +<p>Jorden. He had forgotten. The man had been waiting during his conference +with the Commissioners. Jorden was the one who had been rejected for +examination two weeks ago and insisted he had a <i>right</i> to be examined +for colonization factors. He had been trying to get in ever since. He +might as well get rid of the man once and for all, Ashby decided +reluctantly.</p> + +<p>"Show him in," he said.</p> + +<p>Mark Jorden was a tall, blond man in his late twenties. Shaking hands +with him, Ashby felt thick, strong fingers and glimpsed a massive wrist +at the edge of the coat sleeve. Jorden's face was a pleasant +Scandinavian pink, matched by blue eyes that looked intently into +Ashby's face.</p> + +<p>They sat at the desk. "You want to be a colonist," said Ashby. "You say +you want to settle forty seven light years from Earth for the rest of +your life. And our preliminary psycho tests indicate you have scarcely a +vestige of the basic qualities required. Why do you insist on the full +examination?"</p> + +<p>Jorden smiled and shook his head honestly. "I don't know exactly. It +seems like something I'd enjoy doing. Maybe it's in my people—they +liked to move around and see new places. They were seamen in the days +when there weren't any charts to sail by."</p> + +<p>"It's certain that this is a situation without charts to sail by," said +Ashby, "but I hardly think the word 'enjoy' is applicable. Have you +thought at all of what existence means at that distance from Earth, with +no communication whatever except a ship every eight years or so? +Qualifications just a trifle short of insanity are required for a +venture of that kind."</p> + +<p>"I'm sure you don't mean that, Dr. Ashby," said Jorden reprovingly.</p> + +<p>"Perhaps not," said Ashby. His visitor's calm assurance irritated him, +as if <i>he</i> were the one who knew what a colonist ought to be. "I see by +your application you're an electrical engineer."</p> + +<p>Jorden nodded. "Yes. My company has just offered me the head of the +department, but I had to explain I was putting in an application for +colonist. They think I'm crazy, of course."</p> + +<p>"Does taking the examination mean giving up your promotion?"</p> + +<p>"I'm not sure. But I rather think they will pass me up and give it to +one of the other men."</p> + +<p>"You want to go badly enough to risk giving up that chance in order to +take an examination which will unquestionably show you have no +qualifications whatever to be a colonist?"</p> + +<p>"I think I'm qualified," said Jorden. "I insist on being given the +chance. I believe I have the right to it."</p> + +<p>Ashby tried to restrain his irritation. What Jorden said was perhaps +true. No one had ever raised the point before. Those previously rejected +by the preliminary tests had withdrawn in good grace. It seemed +senseless to waste the time of a test pit and its large crew on an +obviously hopeless applicant. On the other hand, he couldn't afford to +have Jorden stirring up trouble with the Colonization Commission at this +critical time—and he could guess that was exactly what Jorden's next +move would be if he were turned down again.</p> + +<p>"Our machines will find out everything about you later," said Ashby, +"but I'd like you to tell me about yourself so that I may feel +personally acquainted with you."</p> + +<p>Jorden shrugged. "There's not much to tell. I had the usual schooling, +which wasn't anything impressive. I had my three year hitch in the +Service, and I suppose that's where I began to feel there was something +available in life which I had never anticipated. I suppose it sounds +very silly to you, but when I first put a foot on the Moon I felt like +crying. I picked up a handful of pumice and let it sift through my +fingers. I looked out toward Mars and felt as if I could go anywhere, +that I ought to go everywhere.</p> + +<p>"The medicos told me later that it was a crazy sort of feeling that +everyone gets his first time out, but I didn't believe them. I didn't +believe it was quite the same with anyone else. When I got out to Mars +finally, and during my one tour on Pluto, it seemed to get worse instead +of decreasing as they told me it would. When I got out I took a job in +my profession, and I've been satisfied, but I've never been able to get +rid of the feeling there's something I'm missing, something I ought to +be doing. It's connected with everything out there." He lifted a broad +hand and gestured to the horizon beyond the windows.</p> + +<p>"Perhaps your career should have been in the Service," suggested Ashby.</p> + +<p>"No. That was good enough while it lasted, but they didn't have anything +I wanted permanently. When I heard about the proposed colonization on +Serrengia that seemed to be it."</p> + +<p>"Your application indicates you are not married."</p> + +<p>"That's right," said Jorden. "I have no ties to hold me back."</p> + +<p>"You understand, of course, that as a colonist you will be expected to +marry, either before leaving or soon after arrival. Colonial life is +family life."</p> + +<p>"I hadn't thought much about that, but it can't be too bad, I suppose. I +presume my choice would be quite severely limited to a fellow colonist?"</p> + +<p>"Correct."</p> + +<p>"There is a story about my third or fourth grandfather who was given a +girl to marry the night before he sailed from his homeland to settle in +a new country. They had seventeen children and were said to be +extraordinarily happy. My family still owns the homestead they cleared. +I was born there."</p> + +<p>"It can be done, but it doesn't conform closely with our currently +accepted social mores," said Ashby hopefully.</p> + +<p>"I'm sure that won't stand in my way. If there's a woman who's willing +to take a chance, I certainly will be."</p> + +<p>"There's one more thing we have to know," said Ashby. "What are you +running away from? Who or what are your enemies?"</p> + +<p>Jorden laughed uncertainly. "I'm sorry, but I'm not running away from +anything. As far as I know I have no enemies."</p> + +<p>"<i>All</i> colonists are running from something," said Ashby. "Otherwise +they would stay where they are."</p> + +<p>Jorden regarded him a moment in silence, then smiled slowly. "I think +you are going to have occasion to revise that thesis," he said.</p> + +<p>"A great deal of history would also have to be revised if we did," said +Ashby. "At any rate, let's go down to the test pits. I'll show you +what's in store for you there, and you can further decide if you insist +on going through with it."</p> + +<hr style="width: 45%;" /> + +<p>The laboratories of the Institute of Social Science were spread over a +forty acre area, consisting mostly of the test pits where experimental +examination of proposed colonists was being conducted. Ashby led his +visitor to the ground floor where they took a pair of the electric +cycles used for transportation along the vast corridors of the +laboratory.</p> + +<p>A quarter of a mile away they stopped and entered a glassed-in control +room fitted with a number of desks and extensive banks of electronic +equipment.</p> + +<p>"This almost looks like a good sized computer setup," said Jorden +admiringly.</p> + +<p>"We use computers extensively, but this equipment is merely the +recording and control apparatus for the synthetic environment +established in the test pit. Please step this way."</p> + +<p>The control room was empty now, but during a test it was occupied by a +dozen technicians. It was a highly unorthodox procedure to show a +prospective colonist the test pit setup before examination, but Ashby +still had hopes of shunting Jorden aside without wasting the facilities +on a useless test.</p> + +<p>They moved to an observation post and Ashby directed Jorden's attention +to the observation lenses. "We cleaned out here this afternoon," he +said. "A Captain of the Service last occupied the pit."</p> + +<p>Jorden looked up inquiringly. "Did he—?"</p> + +<p>"No. He didn't make it. Tomorrow morning you will be given a +preconditioning which will set up the basic situation that you have +traveled to Serrengia and are now established there in the colony. We +will begin the test at a period of some length after establishment +there, when difficulties begin to pile up. Other members of the party +will be laboratory staff people who will provide specific, guiding +stimuli to determine your reaction to them."</p> + +<p>"Are they there constantly, night and day?"</p> + +<p>"No. When you are asleep their day's work is over and they go home."</p> + +<p>"What if I wake up and find the whole setup is a phony?"</p> + +<p>"You won't. We have control beams constantly focussed upon the persons +being tested. These are used to keep him asleep when desirable, and to +control him to the extent of preventing him doing physical harm to +himself or others."</p> + +<p>"Is that necessary?" said Jorden dubiously. "Why should anyone wish to +do harm?"</p> + +<p>"The Captain, whom we released today, was pushed to the point of +suicide," said Ashby. "We find it <i>quite</i> necessary to assure ourselves +of adequate control at all times."</p> + +<p>"How can you set up the illusion of distance and a whole new world in +such a comparatively small area?"</p> + +<p>"It <i>is</i> illusion, a great deal of it. Some is induced along with the +initial preconditioning, other features are done mechanically, but when +you are there you will have no doubt whatever that you are a colonist on +the planet Serrengia. You will act accordingly, and respond to the +stimuli exactly as if you had been transported to the actual planet. In +this way, we are sure of finding colonists who will not blow up when +they face the real situation."</p> + +<p>"How many have you found so far?"</p> + +<p>"None."</p> + +<p>Jorden was shaken for a moment, but he smiled then and said, "You have +found one. Put my name down on the books."</p> + +<p>"We'll see," said Ashby grimly. "Your colony will be in the limited belt +of the planet's northern hemisphere where considerable agriculture is +possible. You'll be in the midst of a group trying to beat a living from +a world which is neither excessively hostile nor conducive to indolence. +Some of the people will be bitter and wish they had never come. They +will break up in groups and fight each other. They will challenge every +reason you have for your own coming. You will face your own personal +impoverishment, the death of your child—"</p> + +<p>"Child?" said Jorden.</p> + +<p>"Yes. You will be provided with a wife and three children. One of these +will die, and you will react as if it were your own flesh. Your wife +will oppose your staying, and demand a return to Earth. We will throw at +you every force available to tear down your determination to build a +colony. We shall test in every possible way the validity of your +decision to go. Do you still wish to go through with it?"</p> + +<p>Jorden's grin was somewhat fainter. He took a deep breath as he nodded +slowly. "Yes, I'll go through with it. I think it's what I want."</p> + +<hr style="width: 45%;" /> + +<p>When Ashby finally returned alone to the office, Miss Haslam had gone +home. He put in a call anyway for Dr. Bonnie Nathan. She usually +remained somewhere in the laboratory until quite late, even when not +assigned to a test.</p> + +<p>In a few minutes her voice came over the phone. "John? What can I do for +you?"</p> + +<p>"I thought I could let you off for a few days," said Ashby, "but we've +got another one that's come up rather suddenly." He told her briefly +about Mark Jorden. "It's useless, but I don't want him running to the +Commission right now, so we'll put him through. You'll be the wife. +We'll use Program Sixty Eight, except that we'll accelerate it."</p> + +<p>"Accelerate—!"</p> + +<p>"Yes. It won't hurt him any. Whatever happens we can wipe up afterwards. +This is simply a nuisance and I want it out of the way as quickly as +possible. After that—perhaps I can give you those few days I promised +you. O.K.?"</p> + +<p>"It's all right with me," said Bonnie. "But an accelerated Sixty +Eight—"</p> + +<hr style="width: 45%;" /> + +<p>They stood on a low hillock overlooking the ninety acres of bottom land +salvaged from the creek grass. Mark Jorden shaded his eyes and squinted +critically over the even stand of green shoots emerging from the bronzed +soil. Germination had been good in spite of the poor planting time. The +chance of getting a crop out was fair. If they didn't they'd be eating +shoe plastic in another few months.</p> + +<p>The ten year old boy beside him clutched his hand and edged closer as if +there were something threatening him from the broad fields. "Isn't there +any way at all for Earth to send us food," he said, "if we don't get a +crop?"</p> + +<p>"We have to make believe Earth doesn't exist, Roddy," said Jorden. "We +couldn't even let them know we need help, we're so far away." He gripped +the boy's shoulders solidly in his big hands and drew him close. "We +aren't going to need any help from Earth. We're going to make it on our +own. After all, what would they do on Earth if they couldn't make it? +Where would they go for outside help?"</p> + +<p>"I know," said the boy, "but there are so many of them they can't fail. +Here, there's only the few of us."</p> + +<p>Jorden patted his shoulder gently again as they started moving toward +the rough houses a half mile away. "That makes it all the easier for +us," he said. "We don't have to worry about the ones who won't +cooperate. We can't lose with the setup we've got."</p> + +<p>It was harder for Roddy. He remembered Earth, although he had been only +four when they left. He still remembered the cities and the oceans and +the forests he had known so briefly, and was cursed with the human +nostalgia for a past that seemed more desirable than an unknown, fearful +future.</p> + +<p>Of the other children, Alice had been a baby when they left, and Jerry +had been born during the trip. They knew only Serrengia and loved its +wild, uncompromising rigor. They spent their abandoned wildness of +childhood in the nearby hills and forests. But with Roddy it was +different. Childhood seemed to have slipped by him. He was moody, and +moved carefully in constant fear of this world he would never willingly +call home. Jorden's heart ached with longing to instill some kind of joy +into him.</p> + +<p>"That looks like Mr. Tibbets," said Roddy suddenly, his eyes on the new +log house.</p> + +<p>"I believe you're right," said Jorden. "It looks like Roberts and +Adamson with him. Quite a delegation. I wonder what they want."</p> + +<p>The colony consisted of about a hundred families, each averaging five +members. Originally they had settled on a broad plateau at some distance +from the river. It was a good location overlooking hundreds of miles of +desert and forest land. Its soil was fertile and the river water was +lifted easily through the abundant power of the community atomic energy +plant which had been brought from Earth.</p> + +<p>Three months ago, however, the power plant had been destroyed in a +disastrous explosion that killed almost a score of the colonists. Crops +for their next season's food supply were half matured and could not be +saved by any means available.</p> + +<p>The community was broken into a number of smaller groups. Three of +these, composed of fifteen families each, moved to the low lands along +the river bank and cleared acreage for new crops in a desperate hope of +getting a harvest before the season ended. They had not yet learned +enough of the cycle of weather in this area to predict it with much +accuracy.</p> + +<p>Mark Jorden was in charge of one of the farms and the elected leader of +the village in which he lived.</p> + +<p>Tibbets was an elderly man from the same village. In his middle sixties, +he presented a puzzle to Jorden as to why he had been permitted to come. +Roberts and Adamson were from the settlements farther down the river.</p> + +<p>Jorden felt certain of the reason for their visit. He didn't want to +hear what they had to say, but he knew he might as well get it over +with.</p> + +<p>They hailed him from the narrow wooden porch. Jorden came up the steps +and shook hands with each. "Won't you come in? I'm sure Bonnie can find +something cool to drink."</p> + +<p>Tibbets wiped his thin, wrinkled brow. "She already has. That girl of +yours doesn't waste any time being told what to do. It's too bad some of +the others can't pitch in the way Bonnie does."</p> + +<p>Jorden accepted the praise without comment, wondering if no one else at +all were aware of the hot, violent protests she sometimes poured out +against him because of the colony.</p> + +<p>"Come in anyway," Jorden said. "I have to go back to the watering in a +little while, but you can take it easy till then." He led the way into +the log house.</p> + +<p>Their homes on the plateau had been decent ones. With adequate power +they had made lumber and cement, and within a year of their landing had +built a town of fine homes. Among those who had been forced to abandon +them, no one was more bitter than Bonnie. "You're no farmer," she said. +"Why can't those who are be the ones to move?"</p> + +<p>Now, when he came into the kitchen, she was tired, but she tried to +smile as always at her pleasure in seeing him again. He couldn't imagine +what it would be like not having her to welcome him from the fields.</p> + +<p>"I'll get something cool for you and Roddy," she said. "Would you +gentlemen like another drink?"</p> + +<p>When they were settled in the front room Tibbets spoke. "You know why +we've come, Mark. The election is only a couple of months away. We can't +have Boggs in for another term of governor. You've got to say you'll run +against him."</p> + +<p>"As I told you last time, Boggs may be a poor excuse for the job, but +I'd be worse. He's at least an administrator. I'm only an engineer—and +more recently a farmer."</p> + +<p>"We've got something new, now," said Tibbets, his eyes suddenly cold and +meaningful.</p> + +<p>"The talk about his deliberately blowing up the power plant? Talk of +that kind could blow up the whole colony as well. Boggs may have his +faults but he's not insane."</p> + +<p>"We've got proof now," said Tibbets. "It's true. Adamson's got the +evidence. He got one of the engineers who escaped the blast to talk. +It's one of them who were supposed to have been killed. He's so scared +of Boggs he's still hiding out. But he's got the proof and those who are +helping him know it's true."</p> + +<p>"Tibbets is right," said Adamson earnestly. "We know it's true. And +something like that can't stay hidden. It's got to be brought out if +we're going to make the colony survive. You can't just shut your eyes to +it and say, 'Good old Boggs would never do a thing like that.'"</p> + +<p>Jorden's eyes were darker as he spoke in low tones now, hoping Roddy +would not be listening in the kitchen. "Suppose it is true. Why would +Boggs do such an insane thing?"</p> + +<p>"Because he's an insane man," said Tibbets. "That's the obvious answer. +He wants to destroy the colony and limit its growth. He was satisfied to +come here and be elected governor and run the show. He saw it as means +of becoming a two-bit dictator over a group of subservient colonists. It +hasn't turned out that way. He found a large percentage of engineers and +scientists who would have none of his nonsense.</p> + +<p>"He saw the group becoming something bigger than himself. He had to cut +it down to his own size. He's willing to destroy what he can't possess, +but he believes that by reducing us to primitive status he can keep us +in line. In either case the colony loses."</p> + +<p>"If what you say is true—if it's actually true," Jorden said, his eyes +suddenly far away, "we've got to fight him—"</p> + +<p>"Then we can count on you?"</p> + +<p>"Yes—you can count on me."</p> + +<hr style="width: 45%;" /> + +<p>He stood in the doorway watching the departure of the three men, but he +was aware of Bonnie behind him. She rushed to him as he turned, and put +her face against his chest.</p> + +<p>"Mark—you can't do it! Boggs will kill you. This is no concern of ours. +We don't belong to Maintown any more. It's their business up there. I'd +go crazy if anything happened to you. You've got to think of the rest of +us!"</p> + +<p>"I am thinking," said Mark. He raised her chin so he could look into her +eyes. "I'm thinking that we are going to live here the rest of our +lives, and so are the children. If the story about Boggs is true, we're +all concerned. We wouldn't be down here if the power plant hadn't been +destroyed. We'd be living in our good home in Maintown. Would you expect +me to let Boggs get away with this without raising a hand to stop him?"</p> + +<p>"Yes—I would," said Bonnie, "because there is nothing anyone can do. +You know he has Maintown in the palm of his hand. He's screened out +every ruffian and soured colonist in the whole group and they'll do +anything he says. You can't fight them all, Mark. I won't let you."</p> + +<p>"It won't be me alone," said Jorden. "If it develops into a fight the +majority of the colony will be with us. Earth will be with us. Boggs +will be facing the results of the whole two billion year struggle it +took to make man what he now is."</p> + +<hr style="width: 45%;" /> + +<p>In the lounge off the lab cafeteria, Ashby indulged in a late coffee +knowing he wouldn't sleep anyway. Across the table Bonnie ate sparingly +of a belated supper.</p> + +<p>"The threat of having to fight Boggs didn't give him much of a scare," +said Ashby thoughtfully.</p> + +<p>"It'll take a lot more than a bogey man like Boggs to scare Mark," said +Bonnie. "You've got yourself a bigger quantity of man than you bargained +for."</p> + +<p>"This might turn out to be more interesting than we thought. I wish +there were more time to spend on him. But Merton called up again today +to verify the ultimatum I told you about. We produce colonists by the +time Hull Four is complete or they turn the personnel problem over to +Winthrop—even after they saw Carnahan go to pieces before their eyes."</p> + +<p>"Has it ever occurred to you," said Bonnie slowly, "that we might just +possibly be off on the wrong foot? How do you know that any of the +colonists of Earth's history could have stood up to the demands of +Serrengia? I'm beginning to suspect that the Mayflower's passenger list +would have folded quite completely under these conditions. They had it +comparatively easy. So did most other successful colonists."</p> + +<p>"Yes—?" said Ashby.</p> + +<p>"Maybe they succeeded in <i>spite</i> of being rebels. If they could have +come to the new lands without the pressure of flight, but in complete +freedom of action, they might have made an even greater success."</p> + +<p>"But why would they have come at all, then?"</p> + +<p>"I don't know. There must be another motive capable of impelling them. +In great feats of exploration, creation—other human actions similar to +colonization—"</p> + +<p>"There are <i>no</i> other human actions similar to colonization," said +Ashby. "Surely you realize we're dealing with something unique here, +Bonnie!"</p> + +<p>"I know—all I'm trying to say is there could be another valid motive. I +think Mark Jorden's got it. There's something different about this test, +and I think you ought to look in on it yourself."</p> + +<p>"What's so different about him?"</p> + +<p>"He doesn't act like the rest. He hasn't any apparent reason for being +here."</p> + +<p>Ashby looked at the girl closely. She was one of his top staff members +and had been with him from the beginning. The incredible strain of +working day after day in the test pits was showing its effects, he +thought.</p> + +<p>"I shouldn't have let you get started on this one," he said. "You're +fagged out. Maybe it would be better to erase what we've done and start +over, so that you can drop out."</p> + +<p>She shook her head with a quickness that surprised him. "I want to +finish it, and see how Mark turns out. I'm so used to working with the +bitter, anti-social ones that it's a relief to have someone who is +halfway normal and gregarious. I want to be around when we find out why +he's here."</p> + +<p>"Especially if he should go all the way to the end. But he won't—"</p> + +<hr style="width: 45%;" /> + +<p>Ashby was genuinely concerned about Bonnie's condition when he looked in +on her the next morning. The strain on her face was real beyond any +matter of make-up or acting. He wondered just why she should be giving +in to it now. Bonnie was well trained, as were all the staff members who +worked in the test pits. The emotional conflicts mocked up there were +not allowed to penetrate very deeply into their personal experience, yet +it looked now as if Bonnie had somehow lost control of the armor to +protect against such invasion. She seemed to be living the circumstances +of the test program almost as intensely as Mark Jorden was doing.</p> + +<p>Such a condition couldn't be permitted to continue, but he was baffled +by it. Her physical and emotional check prior to the test had not shown +her threshold to be this low. Evidently there was emotional dynamite +buried somewhere in the situation they had manufactured.</p> + +<p>Through the observation lens of the test pit Ashby watched Jorden begin +a tour of the villages, making a quiet investigation of the situation, +which he had all but ignored until it was forced to his attention. +Jorden spent an hour with Adamson, listening carefully to the atomic +engineer's story, and then was led to the hiding place of the engineer +who claimed direct evidence that Boggs had instigated the explosion at +the power plant.</p> + +<p>As Adamson left them, Ashby signaled him through the tiny button buried +in the skin behind his right ear. "This is Ashby," he said. "How does it +look? Do you think he's going to tackle Boggs?"</p> + +<p>"No question of that." Adamson's words came back, although he made no +movement of his mouth or throat. "Jorden is one of these people with a +lot of inertia. It takes a big push to get him moving, but when he +really gets rolling there isn't much that can stop him, either. You're +really going to have to put the pressure on to find his cracking point."</p> + +<p>"I'm afraid we're likely to find Bonnie's first. There's something about +this that's hitting her too hard. Do you know what it is?"</p> + +<p>"No," said Adamson. "I thought I noticed it a little yesterday, too. +Maybe we ought to check her out."</p> + +<p>"She insists on completing the program. And I'd like to go all the way +with Jorden. I'm becoming rather curious about him. Keep an eye on +Bonnie and let me know what you think at the end of the shift."</p> + +<p>"I'll do that," said Adamson.</p> + +<hr style="width: 45%;" /> + +<p>Jorden followed his guide for more than a mile beyond the last village +on the bank of the river. There, in a willow hidden cave in the clay +bank, he found James, the atomic engineer who was reported to know of +Boggs' attack on the power plant.</p> + +<p>"I told him you were coming," said Adamson, "but I'm going to leave. You +can make out better if you're alone with him. He's bitter, but he isn't +armed, and he'll go along with you if you don't push him too hard."</p> + +<p>Jorden watched Adamson disappear along the bank in the direction from +which they had come. He had a feeling of utter ridiculousness. This +wasn't what they had come for! They had come to build an outpost of +human beings, to establish man's claim in this sector of the Universe. +And they were ending in a petty conflict worthy of the politics of +centuries before, back on Earth.</p> + +<p>His face took on a harder set as he approached the mouth of the cave and +whistled the signal notes that Adamson had taught him. If the +establishment of the colony demanded this kind of fight then he was +willing to enter the battle. He had not dedicated the remainder of his +life to a goal only to abandon it to a petty tyrant like Boggs.</p> + +<p>A bearded face peered cautiously through parted willows and James' voice +spoke. "You're Jorden? I suppose by now everybody in the villages knows +where I'm hiding out. I'm the world's prize fool for letting this parade +come past my place. Come in and I'll tell you what I know. If you help +get Boggs it will be worth anything it costs me."</p> + +<p>Jorden followed the man through the screening willows to the mouth of +the cave. There the two of them squatted on rocks opposite each other.</p> + +<p>"I remember you now," said James. "You set up the electric plant when we +were assembling the pile, didn't you? I thought we'd worked together."</p> + +<p>Jorden nodded, hoping James would go on, remembering Adamson's caution +not to push him too hard, but the engineer seemed to have nothing more +to say. He rubbed a hand forcibly against his other arm and looked +beyond the mouth of the cave to the slow moving river.</p> + +<p>"This business concerning Boggs' destruction of the plant—how did it +start?" said Jorden finally.</p> + +<p>"How does anything of that kind start?" said James. "Boggs came to some +of us and remarked in casual conversation what a shame it would be if +the colony were to duplicate all over again the mistakes that Earth have +made during the past thousands of years. A few of us were sympathetic +with that thought—it would indeed be a shame. Some of the engineers +thought that this was the perfect chance to set up a truly scientific +society. They didn't agree that Boggs was the ideal leader, but he <i>was</i> +the leader and the obvious one to work through. They all became +convinced that a rapid industrialization and a highly technological +society built upon the old rusty foundations would be most difficult to +overcome in building a society on truly adequate sociological +principles. You can take it from there."</p> + +<p>Yes, he could, Jorden thought. Anybody could take it from there. It was +the oldest lie that men of power and position had ever concocted. Why +had those particular colonists fallen for it?</p> + +<p>"What about you?" he asked James. "Were you sucked in by Boggs' +arguments?"</p> + +<p>The engineer nodded. "He took all of us. And all along he never intended +that more than a couple would get out alive—by double crossing the +others."</p> + +<p>"Why?" said Jorden.</p> + +<p>"Why? I've thought a lot about that, living here in this mudhole. You +get to thinking about things like that when you realize there's no going +back, that Boggs would kill me on sight for what I could tell—and that +the other colonists would also, because of what I've done. Adamson says +I can trust him. He says I can trust you. But I don't trust anybody. I +know that someday soon I'm going to get a bullet in the head from one of +you. All I'm hoping is that some of you hate Boggs enough to get him +first."</p> + +<p>"Why did you come to Serrengia in the first place?"</p> + +<p>"To get away. Why did anyone come? You don't give up everything you've +got in order to go to some strange world and spend the rest of your life +unless you've got a reason. Unless you hate what you've got so much +you're willing to try anything else. Unless you're so terribly afraid of +what could happen to you back there that you're willing to face any kind +of dangers out here. We all had our reasons. I'm not asking yours. It +makes no difference to you what mine were. But they're all alike. We +came because we were so afraid or full of hate we couldn't stay."</p> + +<p>"How did you expect to build a new world out of hate and fear of the old +one?"</p> + +<p>"Who worried about what we'd build here? All we wanted to do was get +away. You can't tell me <i>you</i> came for any other reason!"</p> + +<hr style="width: 45%;" /> + +<p>Jorden made no answer. He continued to stare in wonder at the atomic +engineer. To what extent were James' words actually true? How completely +was the colony riddled with unpredictable, purposeless characters like +him?</p> + +<p>If they had fled Earth with a purpose to create something better than +they left, there was a chance. But if James was right that most of them +had come in blind flight with no goal at all then the Earth colony of +Serrengia would be dead long before the ships came again.</p> + +<p>But Jorden did not believe this. He did not believe that any but a small +fraction of the colonists had any feeling toward Earth except that of +love. Most had come because they wanted to do this particular thing with +their lives. Nothing had driven or forced them to it.</p> + +<p>"Tell me what Boggs did, and what he persuaded you to do," said Jorden.</p> + +<p>In detail, James told him how Boggs had gained influence with the +technicians necessary to prepare the plant for destruction, how he had +persuaded them that a new, idealistic social order demanded their +obedience to this fantastic plan. Then, under the Governor's direction, +two of the men betrayed the rest. Only James, who was at a slight +distance from his normal operating post that night, had escaped with +non-fatal injuries.</p> + +<p>"I know how you feel," said James. "You'd like to stick a knife into me +now. But until you succeed in disposing of Boggs, you need to be sure +I'm alive. When that's over you'll send someone around to take care of +the traitor, James. But you may be sure I won't be here. I'll get +through your guards!"</p> + +<p>The man was half crazed, Jorden thought, from infection and fever in +half treated wounds, and probably from the effects of radiation itself. +"We aren't going to set up any guards," he said. "We're going to send +you medical care. Don't try to get away down the river. I'll have some +men who'll take you where you'll be safe and have care."</p> + +<p>Jorden left, on the hope that James would not attempt further flight +until he was assured of Boggs' defeat. But the colony could not quickly +administer the kind of defeat James wanted. They had to be orderly, even +if it was a frontier community. There had to be a trial. There had to be +evidence, and James had to be called to give it.</p> + +<p>He returned to the village and made arrangements with Adamson to get +medical care for James. Dr. Babbit, one of the four physicians with the +colony, was sufficiently out of sympathy with Boggs to be trusted.</p> + +<p>Then, with his family, he accompanied Tibbets to Maintown. On the +bulletin board outside the Council Hall he hung an announcement of his +candidacy for the governorship, which Tibbets had prepared for him. +Tibbets made a little speech to the handful of people who gathered to +read what was on the bulletin, but Jorden declined to make any personal +statement just now. He had enough to say when it came time to accuse +Boggs of the crimes involved in destruction of the power plant.</p> + +<p>But among those who squinted closely at Tibbets' fine, black printing +there came a look of mild awe. It had been generally assumed that Boggs +would go unopposed for re-election.</p> + +<p>On the way back Tibbets' car passed the length of Maintown and took them +by the deserted house which Jorden had built in their first year on +Serrengia. Bonnie gave it a covetous look, contrasting its spaciousness +with the primitive cabin in which she now lived.</p> + +<p>Tibbets caught her glance. "If it were not for Boggs you would still be +living there," he said.</p> + +<p>Bonnie made no answer. Both she and Roddy stared ahead, as if unable to +bring their attention to bear upon the present, because of the fear +incited by everything about them. Jorden was also silent, but his eyes +wandered incessantly over the surrounding hills and distant farmlands. +He hadn't bargained for anything like this. He had expected to find +himself in a society of cooperative and uniformly energetic human +beings. He knew now, without any further persuasion, that this had been +a vision strictly from an ivory tower.</p> + +<p>He should have anticipated that in a group like this there would be a +sprinkling of small time thugs and dictators and generally shiftless +individuals who could not make a go of it in the society they had left. +At home you could live and work with such without ever being more than +vaguely aware of their eccentricities. Here, their deviation from +required cooperation was enough to disrupt the whole community.</p> + +<p>He could understand the terror in Bonnie and Roddy. They had come only +because of him, with no understanding of the colony's purpose. The +present turmoil underlined their conviction that it had been pure folly +to come. Somehow he'd have to show them. He'd have to make them +understand there was a reason for being on Serrengia. But at the moment +he did not know how to do it.</p> + +<hr style="width: 45%;" /> + +<p>The program called for a continuation well into the night with a long +scene at the cabin, but Ashby interrupted it as soon as they returned +from Maintown. He ordered a twenty four hour rest, because of Bonnie. +The extended period of sleep wouldn't harm Jorden.</p> + +<p>Bonnie, however, was furious at the interruption as she came out of the +test pit.</p> + +<p>"If you're going to let it go to the end, why don't you get on with it?" +she demanded. "The whole thing is so far off the track that you might as +well find out as soon as possible that you're not getting anywhere."</p> + +<p>"I think we're beginning to find out a great deal. But I want you to +have a rest. The hours of this shift are much too long for you."</p> + +<p>"You think you know what's going on inside Mark Jorden by watching the +dials and meters, but you don't, because it's not himself he's concerned +about. It's a goal outside and bigger than himself. The colony <i>means</i> +something to him. It never meant anything at all to any of the others."</p> + +<p>"Then this is the kind of situation we've been looking for."</p> + +<p>"But we haven't the techniques or insight to understand it. We can +analyze a man who's running away—but we're not prepared for one who's +running <i>toward</i>."</p> + +<hr style="width: 45%;" /> + +<p>The night after they returned from Maintown a terrific storm broke over +the plateau. It began at supper time and for an hour poured torrents of +water on the land. Jorden wanted to go down to the river to see if their +diversion dams were holding. If they went out it meant long days of hard +hand labor restoring them.</p> + +<p>He gave in, however, to Bonnie's plea to stay in the house with them. +Roddy was frightened of the storm and looked physically ill when thunder +made the walls of the cabin shake. It wouldn't change the actual facts +of the damage to the dams whether Jorden examined them now or in the +morning. He tried to think up stories to tell the children, but it was +hard to make up some dealing only with Serrengia and ignoring Earth, as +he had to do for Roddy's sake.</p> + +<p>After the rain finally stopped and Bonnie had put the children to bed +there came a knock at the door. Bonnie opened it. Governor Boggs and two +Council members moved into the room. Little pools of water drained to +the floor about their feet.</p> + +<p>The Governor turned slowly and grinned at Bonnie and Mark Jorden as the +light from the lamp and the fireplace fell upon him. "Nasty night out," +he said. "For a time I was afraid we weren't going to make it."</p> + +<p>Boggs was a short, stout man and carried himself very erect. He seemed +to exaggerate his normal posture as he moved toward the chairs Bonnie +offered the men.</p> + +<p>Jorden remained seated in his big wooden chair by the fireplace glancing +up with cold challenge in his face as his visitors settled on the +opposite side of the fire.</p> + +<p>"I'm sorry we missed you when you were in town today," said Boggs. "It +was not until late this afternoon that I became aware of your visit."</p> + +<p>He reached to an inner coat pocket and drew forth a paper which he +unfolded carefully. Jorden recognized it as the announcement he had +tacked on the bulletin board. Boggs passed it over.</p> + +<p>"I felt sure you would wish to withdraw this, Jorden, after you had +given it a little fuller consideration. I'm sure that by now you have +had time to think over the matter a little more calmly and find a good +many reasons why you should withdraw your announcement."</p> + +<p>"I haven't thought much about it," said Jorden, "but now that you call +it to my attention I am becoming aware of an increasing number of +reasons why I should not withdraw. I assure you I have no intention of +doing so."</p> + +<p>Boggs smiled and folded up the paper and slipped it into the fire. "I +have not been such a bad administrator during my first term of office, +have I Jorden?"</p> + +<p>"That is for the people to decide—on election day."</p> + +<p>"But why should they want to change a perfectly capable administrator," +said Boggs in an injured tone, "and put in a very capable engineer and +farm manager—who has no qualifications in administrative matters?"</p> + +<p>"That too is a question to be answered on election day."</p> + +<p>Boggs shifted in his chair, dropping the deliberately maintained smile +from his face. "There have been some stories circulating about the +colony recently," he said. "It is possible that you have heard them and +believe them."</p> + +<p>"Possibly," said Jorden.</p> + +<p>"I wouldn't. I wouldn't believe them if I were you. I wouldn't even +listen to them because it might lead to dangerous and erroneous +conclusions, which would cause you to convict in your mind an honest +man."</p> + +<p>"That would be my error then, wouldn't it?" said Jorden.</p> + +<p>The Governor nodded. "A grave one as far as it concerns the welfare of +yourself and your family, Jorden."</p> + +<p>Jorden's face hardened. "Threats of that kind aren't appropriate to your +position, Governor."</p> + +<p>"Perhaps you are not aware of my exact position."</p> + +<p>"I think I am! And I intend to do everything in my power to change it. +You are a small time chiseler who saw a good chance to set yourself up +for life in a cushy situation where five hundred other people would obey +your slightest whim. That's an old fashioned situation, Boggs, and you +can't set it up here even if you are willing to resort to sabotage and +murder."</p> + +<p>Boggs eyes narrowed and he looked at Jorden for a long time. "I am +afraid, then," he said, "that there is nothing I can do except put a +stop to your repeating these lying stories about me."</p> + +<p>The Governor's eyes never moved, but Jorden shifted in sudden, wild +indecision. Almost simultaneously there were two shots exploding in the +narrow cabin, and then a third. Jorden and Boggs leaped out of their +chairs.</p> + +<div class="figright"> +<img src="images/illus2.jpg" alt=""/> +</div> + +<p>From the kitchen doorway came the steel-taut voice of Bonnie. "Don't +move any further, Mr. Boggs. Put your hands in the air. Get his gun, +Mark—in the pocket on this side."</p> + +<p>For a moment Jorden hesitated, his eyes held by the sight of Boggs' two +gunmen on the floor, blood spreading in tiny rivulets. He took the +pistol from the Governor's pocket and held it in readiness.</p> + +<p>"I ought to kill you now, Boggs," he said. "Fortunately, or +unfortunately, we have to set a precedent in such matters if the colony +is to survive. We have to go through the formality of a trial for +sabotaging the power plant and murdering those killed there. Actually, +it would be a good idea if you just took off over the hills and went as +far as you could before the jungle got you. It would save us all a great +deal of trouble."</p> + +<p>Hope surged in Boggs' eyes as he recognized that Jorden was incapable of +shooting him down. Then bitterness mingled with that hope. "You won't +get away with this, Jorden. We'll see what the people have to say about +your wife shooting my men down while my back is turned."</p> + +<p>"<i>Their</i> backs weren't turned," said Jorden. "Get them out of here now. +If you want to save explanations as to why you came here tonight you +might find a convenient spot and bury them—before you take out over the +hills yourself."</p> + +<p>Watching until they could no longer see the lights of Boggs' car, they +closed the door. Bonnie collapsed with a moan, cringing in Jorden's +arms.</p> + +<p>"Now they'll kill us all," she said in a lifeless voice. "We haven't got +a chance. For this we followed your great dream of colonizing an outpost +of the Universe!"</p> + +<hr style="width: 45%;" /> + +<p>That night Roddy was sick. Six days later he was dead. Before they +decided to go through with this section of the program there were long +and heated conferences between Bonnie and Ashby and the staff working at +the test pit. Bonnie insisted the program should be dropped here. They +already knew that Jorden was what they were searching for. They had only +to analyze the factors that had brought him to the test and they would +have what they needed to identify as many colonists as the project +required. He didn't need to be broken down any further.</p> + +<p>Ashby knew this was not true. Jorden's basic purpose as a colonist had +not yet been brought into sight. Ashby recognized that his goal was +almost certainly the perpetuation of the colony—and he was the first +one who had maintained such a goal this far—but they had to know the +drive that existed behind the goal. If it should develop a basis wholly +in flight it would still crack before completion of the program.</p> + +<p>But Ashby continued to be hesitant on Bonnie's account. Roddy's illness +and death meant a continuous tour in the test pit for the full six days. +And this was cut from the scheduled eight it normally occupied. Why it +was impossible for Bonnie to reduce her own personal tension on the +project, Ashby didn't know, but she had become increasingly susceptible +as time went on.</p> + +<p>Word of Jorden's persistence was spreading among the staff personnel of +other sections of the lab. A subdued excitement was stirring among them. +In most cases so far examined, the colonist had by now either knuckled +under to Boggs or engaged in a futile personal duel with him. If they +went further, they almost invariably collapsed under the pressure of +Bonnie's blame and began cursing Serrengia as well as the Earth from +which they fled.</p> + +<p>Ashby ordered resumption of the program. It was an agony for him, too, +watching Bonnie during the long hours of Roddy's illness. It seemed +every bit as much a test of her strength and endurance as it was of Mark +Jorden's. With the televiewer Ashby brought an image of her face up +close, studying her from every angle during the long nights when she and +Mark Jorden exchanged vigil over Roddy. He scanned her face by the +firelight of the rough cabin.</p> + +<p>After three days, Jorden was running close to exhaustion, but in spite +of the strain Bonnie seemed capable of remaining there forever. Her eyes +watched Jorden's face, taking in his every movement and expression.</p> + +<p>And after three days of watching Bonnie's face in close-up, Ashby +suddenly murmured aloud to himself in disbelief and astonishment.</p> + +<p>Dr. Miller, who was Tibbets in the program, came up to his side. "What +is it, Ashby? Has something gone wrong?"</p> + +<p>Ashby shook his head slowly in wonder and pointed to the image in the +viewer. "Look at her," he said. "Can't you see what has happened to +Bonnie? We should have caught it long ago. No wonder this job is tearing +her apart—no wonder she doesn't want it to end the way it must—or end +at all, for that matter!"</p> + +<p>"I still don't see what you are talking about," said Miller in +exasperation. "I don't see that anything has happened to her. She looks +like the same old Bonnie to me."</p> + +<p>"Does she?" said Ashby. "Watch her when she looks at Jorden. Can't you +see she has fallen in love with him?"</p> + +<hr style="width: 45%;" /> + +<p>There was probably a whole class of people like Roddy, Jorden thought. +People incapable of surviving beyond the world on which they were born. +Since the day of his coming Roddy had fought an unceasing battle with +this hated, alien world of Serrengia. He awoke each morning to renew the +unequal contest before he was even out of bed—and knowing fully that he +was beaten before he started.</p> + +<p>Jorden had tried every way he knew to instill into his son some of his +own love for this new world. It was a good world and the men who grew up +on it in the years to come would love it with all their hearts. But +Roddy could not give up his reaching back, his longing for Earth. He +shrank before the problem of their doubtful food supply. He caught +snatches of adult worries and nourished them with a dark agony that made +it appear to Jorden sometimes as if the boy were walking in a nightmare.</p> + +<p>It had been cruel and brutal to bring him. But there was no use blaming +himself for that. If only Bonnie would stop blaming him! He couldn't +have known ahead of time that Roddy was one of those who could not +be—transplanted. Fervently, he prayed for the boy's life now and vowed +that when the ships came again he would be free to go home.</p> + +<p>And always Bonnie's eyes were upon him. Sitting in the firelight of the +cabin, he could feel her staring at him, accusing him, hating him for +bringing them to Serrengia.</p> + +<p>Once he looked up and caught her glance. "Don't hate me so much, +Bonnie!" he said. "You're driving Roddy down. I can feel it. Reach out +to him with your love and don't let him go."</p> + +<p>But Roddy said later that same evening, "Maybe I'll go back to Earth +now, Daddy. Do you think that's where little boys go when they die?"</p> + +<p>He wanted to return so badly that he was willing to die to achieve it, +Jorden thought. That's what Dr. Babbit said: "Roddy doesn't even want to +live, Jorden. As incredible as it seems, he's literally dying of +homesickness. I'm afraid there's not a thing I can do for him. I'm +sorry, but it's up to you. You and Bonnie are the only ones who can give +him a desire to remain, if anyone can."</p> + +<p>Roddy's hate for Serrengia was greater than any desire they could induce +in him to live. With ease, he conquered all the miracle drugs Dr. Babbit +lavished from the colony's restricted store. He died on the sixth night +after Boggs' visit.</p> + +<hr style="width: 45%;" /> + +<p>The funeral was held in the little community church built when the +colonists first laid out Maintown. Mark and Bonnie Jorden were almost +oblivious to the words spoken over the body of Roddy by the Reverend +Wagner, who had come as the colonists' spiritual adviser.</p> + +<p>Bonnie's hands were folded on her lap, and she kept her eyes down +throughout the service. She was aware of the agony within Mark Jorden. +It was a real agony, and its strength almost frightened her, for she had +never before seen such a response in any man who had gone through the +test this far. They were men concerned only with themselves, incapable +of the love that Jorden could feel for a son.</p> + +<p>He reached out and took one of her hands in his own. She could feel the +emotion within him, the tightening and trembling of his big, +hard-muscled arm.</p> + +<p>Ashby was watching. Over the private communication system that linked +them he murmured, "Cry, Bonnie! Make it real. Make him hate himself and +everything he's done since he decided to become a colonist—if you can! +This is where we've got to find out whether he can crack or not—and +why."</p> + +<p>"You can't break him," said Bonnie. "He's the strongest man I've ever +known. If you find his breaking point it will be when you destroy him +utterly. You've got to quit before you reach that point!"</p> + +<p>"All that we've done will be useless if we quit now, Bonnie. Just a few +more hours and then it will all be over—"</p> + +<p>As if his words had touched a hidden trigger, she did begin to cry with +a deep but almost inaudible sound and a heavy movement of her shoulders. +Mark Jorden put his arm about her as if to force away her grief.</p> + +<p>"I <i>know</i>, Bonnie," said Ashby softly. "I can see in your face what's +happened to you. It's going to be all right. Everything doesn't end for +you when the test is over."</p> + +<p>"Oh, shut up!" said Bonnie in a sudden rage that made her tears come +faster. "If I ever work on another of your damned experiments it will be +when I've lost my senses entirely! You don't know what this does to +people. I didn't know either—because I didn't care. But now I know—"</p> + +<p>"You know that no harm results after we've erased and corrected all +inadequate reactions at the end of the test. You're letting your +feelings cover up your full awareness of what we're doing."</p> + +<p>"Yes, and I suppose that when it's over I had better submit to a little +erasing myself. Then Bonnie can go back to work as a little iced steel +probe for some more of your guinea pigs!"</p> + +<p>"Bonnie—!"</p> + +<p>She made no answer to Ashby, but lay her head on Jorden's shoulder while +her sobbing subsided. How did it happen? she asked herself. It wasn't +anything she had wanted. It had just happened. It had happened that +first day when he came in from the field at the beginning of the +experiment with all of the planted background that made him think he was +meeting Bonnie for the thousandth time instead of the first.</p> + +<p>She was supposed to be an actress and receive his husbandly kiss with +all the skilled mimicry that made her so valuable to the lab. But it +hadn't been like that. She had played sister, mother, daughter, wife—a +hundred roles to as many other tested applicants. For the first time she +saw one as a human being instead of a sociological specimen. That's the +way it was when she met Mark Jorden.</p> + +<p>There was no answer to it, she thought bitterly as she rested her face +against his shoulder. Ashby was right—just a few more hours and it +would all be over. All Jorden's feeling for her as his wife was induced +by the postulates of the test, just as were his feelings for Roddy. His +subjective reactions were real enough, but they would vanish when their +stimulus was removed with the test postulates. He would look upon the +restored Roddy as just another little boy—and upon Bonnie, the Doctor +in Sociology, as just another misemployed female.</p> + +<p>She raised her head and dried her eyes as she sensed that the service +was ending. Actually, Ashby was right, of course. They had to go on, and +the sooner it came to an end the better it would be for her. She <i>would</i> +submit to alteration of her own personal data after the test, she +thought. She would let them erase all feelings and sentiments she held +for Mark Jorden, and then she would be as good as new. After all, if a +sociologist couldn't handle his own reactions in a situation of this +kind he wasn't of much value in his profession!</p> + +<hr style="width: 45%;" /> + +<p>The sun was hot as they returned from the little burial ground near the +church. There were quite a number of other graves besides Roddy's, but +his was the loneliest, Jorden thought. He had never forgiven them for +robbing him of his home and the only world in which he could live.</p> + +<div class="figleft"> +<img src="images/illus1.jpg" alt=""/> +</div> + +<p>He felt the growing coldness of Bonnie as they came up to their shabby +cabin that had once looked so brave to him. Serrengia had cost him +Bonnie, too. Even before Roddy. She had remained only because it was her +duty.</p> + +<p>He took her hand as she put a foot on the doorstep. "Bonnie—"</p> + +<p>She looked at him bitterly, her eyes searching his face as if to find +something of the quality that once drew her to him. "Don't try to say +it, Mark—there's nothing left to say."</p> + +<p>He let her go, and the two children followed past him into the house. He +sat down on the step and looked out over the fields that edged the river +bank. His mind felt numbed by Roddy's passing. Bonnie's insistent blame +made him live it over and over again.</p> + +<p>The light from the green of the fields was like a caress to his eyes. I +should hate it, he thought. I should hate the whole damned planet for +what it's taken from me. But that's not right—Serrengia hasn't taken +anything. It's only that Bonnie and I can't live in the same world, or +live the same kind of lives. Roddy was like her. But I didn't know then. +I didn't know how either of them were.</p> + +<p>We have to go on. There's no going back. Maybe if I'd known, I would +have made it different for all of us. I can't now, and it would be crazy +to start hating Serrengia for the faults that are in us. Who could do +anything but love this fresh, wild planet of ours—?</p> + +<p>He ought to go down and take a look at the field, he thought. He rose to +go in and tell Bonnie. The crops hadn't had water since Roddy took sick.</p> + +<p>He found Bonnie in the bedroom with the drawers of their cabinets open +and their trunk in the middle of the floor, its lid thrown back. Clothes +lay strewn on the bed.</p> + +<p>He felt a slow tightening of his scalp and of the skin along the back of +his neck. "Bonnie—"</p> + +<p>She straightened and looked into his face with cold, distant eyes. "I'm +packing, Mark," she said. "I'm leaving. I'm going home. The girls are +going with me. You can stay until they dig your grave beside Roddy's, +but I'm going home."</p> + +<p>Jorden's face went white. He strode forward and caught her by the arms. +"Bonnie—you know there's no way to go home. There won't be a ship for +six years. This is home, Bonnie. There's no other place to go."</p> + +<p>For a moment the set expression of her face seemed to melt. She frowned +as if he had told her some mystery she could not fathom. Then her +countenance cleared and its blank determination returned. "I'm going +home," she repeated. "You can't stop me. I've done all a wife can be +expected to do. I've given my son as the price of your foolishness. You +can't ask for more."</p> + +<p>He had to get out. He felt that if he remained another instant just then +something inside him would explode under the pressure of his grief. He +went to the front door and stood leaning against it while he looked over +the landscape that almost seemed to reach out for him in hate as it had +for Roddy. So you want her, too! he cried inside himself.</p> + +<p>Alice came up and tugged at his hand as he stood there. "What's the +matter, Daddy? What's the matter with Mama?"</p> + +<p>He bent down and kissed her on the forehead. "Nothing, honey. You go and +play for a moment while I help Mother."</p> + +<p>"I want to help, too!"</p> + +<p>"Please, Alice—"</p> + +<p>He moved back to the bedroom. Bonnie was carefully examining each item +of apparel she packed in the big trunk. She didn't look up as he came +in.</p> + +<p>"Bonnie," he said in a low voice, "are you going to leave me?"</p> + +<p>She put down the dress she was holding and looked up at him. "Yes I'm +leaving you," she said. "You've got what you wanted—all you've ever +wanted." She looked out towards the fields, shimmering in the heat of +the day.</p> + +<p>"That's not true, Bonnie. You know it isn't. I've always loved you and +needed you, and it's grown greater every hour we've been together."</p> + +<p>"Then you'll have to prove it! Give up this hell-world you want us to +call home, and give us back our Earth. If you love me, you can prove +it."</p> + +<p>"It's no test of love to make a man give up the goal that means his life +to him. You'd despise me forever if I let you do that to me. I'd rather +you went away from me now with the feeling you have at this time, +because I'd know I had your love—"</p> + +<p>Bonnie remained still and unmoving in his arms, her face averted from +his. He put his hand to her chin and turned her face to him. "You do +love me, Bonnie? That hasn't changed, has it?"</p> + +<p>She put her head against his chest and rocked from side to side as if in +some agony. "Oh, no—Mark! That will never change. Damn you, Ashby, damn +you—"</p> + +<hr style="width: 45%;" /> + +<p>In the control room Ashby and Miller groaned aloud to each other, and a +technician looked at them questioningly, his hand on a switch. Ashby +shook his head and stared at the scene before him.</p> + +<p>Jorden shook Bonnie gently in his arms. "Ashby?" he said. "Who's Ashby?"</p> + +<p>Bonnie looked up, the blank despair on her face again. "I don't +remember—" she said haltingly. "Someone I used to—know—"</p> + +<p>"It makes no difference," Jorden said. "What matters is that you love me +and you're going to stay with me. Let's put these things away now, +darling. I know how you've felt the past week, but we've got to put it +behind us and look forward to the future. Roddy would want it that way."</p> + +<p>"There's no future to look forward to," said Bonnie dully. "Nothing here +on Serrengia. There's no meaning to any of us being here. I'm going back +to Earth."</p> + +<p>"It does have a meaning! If I could only make you see it. If you could +only understand why I had to come—"</p> + +<p>"Then tell me if you know! You've never tried to tell me. You live as if +you know something so deep and secret you can live by it every hour of +your life and find meaning in it. But I can only guess at what it is +you've chosen for your god. If it's anything but some illusion, put it +into words and make me know it, too!"</p> + +<p>"I've never tried," said Jorden hesitantly. "I've never tried to put it +into words. It's something I didn't know was in me until I heard of the +chance to colonize Serrengia. And then I knew I had to come.</p> + +<p>"It's like a growing that you feel in every cell. It's a growing out and +away, and it's what you have to do. You're a sperm—an ovum—and if you +don't leave the parent body you die. You don't have to hate what you +leave behind as James and Boggs and so many of the others do. It gave +you life, and for that you're grateful. But you've got to have a life of +your own.</p> + +<p>"It's what I was born to do, Bonnie. I didn't know it was there, but now +I've found it I can't kill it."</p> + +<p>"You have to kill it—or me."</p> + +<p>"You don't mean that. You're part of me. You've been a part of me so +long you feel what I feel. You're lying, Bonnie, when you say you're +going away. You don't want to go. You want to go on with me, but +something's holding you back. What is it, Bonnie? Tell me what it is +that holds you back!"</p> + +<p>Her eyes went wide. For a moment she thought he was talking out of the +real situation, not the make-believe of the test. Then she recognized +the impossibility of this. Her eyes cast a pleading glance in the +direction of the observation tubes.</p> + +<p>Ashby spoke fiercely: "Go on, Bonnie! Don't lose the tension. Push him. +We've got to know. He's almost there!"</p> + +<p>She moved slowly to the dresser where she had laid Jorden's hunting +knife previously, as if with no particular intent. Now, out of sight of +Jorden, her hand touched it. She picked it up.</p> + +<p>Ashby's voice came again. "Bonnie—move!"</p> + +<p>She murmured, "Lost—"</p> + +<p>And then she whirled about, knife in hand. She cried aloud. "I can't go +on any further! Can't you see this is enough? Stop it! Stop it—"</p> + +<p>Jorden leaped for the knife.</p> + +<p>In the observation room a technician touched a switch.</p> + +<hr style="width: 45%;" /> + +<p>Ashby felt the subdued elation of success reached after a long and +strenuous effort. Bonnie was seated across the desk from him, but he sat +at an angle so that he could see the four hulls out of the corner of his +eye. One and Two had made their test flights and the others would not be +far behind. The expedition would be a success, too. There was no longer +any doubt of that, because he knew now where to look for adequate +personnel.</p> + +<p>"I'm glad I didn't foul up your test completely, anyway," said Bonnie +slowly. "Even if what you say about Mark shouldn't turn out to be true."</p> + +<p>Ashby moved his chair around to face her directly. She was rested, and +had gone through a mental re-orientation which had removed some of the +tension from her face.</p> + +<p>"You didn't foul it up at all," he said. "We went far enough to learn +that he would have survived even your suicide, and would have continued +in his determination to carry the colony forward. Nothing but his own +death will stand in his way if he actually sets out on such a project. +Are you completely sure you want to be tied to such a single purposed +man as Mark Jorden is?"</p> + +<p>"There's no doubt of that! But I just don't feel as if I can face him +now—with his knowing.... How can I ever be sure his feeling for me was +not merely induced by the test experience, and might change as time goes +on? You should have wiped it all out, and let us start over from +scratch. It would have been easier that way."</p> + +<p>"There isn't time enough before the ships leave. But why should we have +erased it all? We took away the postulates of the test and left Bonnie +in his memory. His love for you didn't vanish when the test postulates +went. As long as he has a memory of you he will love you. So why make +him fall in love with you twice? No use wasting so much important time +at your age. Here he comes—"</p> + +<p>Bonnie felt she couldn't possibly turn around as the door opened behind +her. She heard Mark's moment of hesitation, his slow steps on the +carpet. Ashby was smiling a little and nodding. Then she felt the hard +grip of Mark's hands on her shoulders. He drew her up and turned her to +face him. Her eyes were wet.</p> + +<p>"Bonnie—" he said softly.</p> + +<hr style="width: 45%;" /> + +<p>Ashby turned to the window again. The gantry cranes were hoisting +machinery in Hull Three. Maybe he had been wrong about there not being +enough time between now and takeoff for Mark and Bonnie to discover each +other all over again. They worked pretty fast. But then, as he had +mentioned, why waste time at their age?</p> + +<p>They were smiling, holding tight to each other as Ashby turned back from +the window.</p> + +<p>"They tell me I passed," said Jorden. "I'm sorry about taking your best +Social Examiner away from you—but as you told me in the beginning this +colonization business is a family affair."</p> + +<p>"Yes—that happens to be one of the few things I was right about." Ashby +motioned them to the chairs. "Through you we located our major error. It +was our identifying rebellion with colonization ability. Colonization is +not a matter of rebellion at all. The two factors merely happen to +accompany each other at times. But the essence of colonization is a +growth factor—of the kind you so very accurately described when Bonnie +pushed you into digging up some insight on the matter. It is so often +associated with rebellion because rebellion is or has been, +historically, necessary to the exercise of this growth factor.</p> + +<p>"The American Colonists, for example, were rebels only incidentally. As +a group, they possessed a growth factor forcing them beyond the confines +of the culture in which they lived. It gave them the strength for +rebellion and successful colonization. And it is so easy to confuse +colonists of that type with mere cutthroats, thugs, and misfits. The +latter may or may not have a sufficiently high growth factor. In any +case, their primary drive is hate and fear, which are wholly inadequate +motives for successful colonization.</p> + +<p>"The ideal colonist does not break with the parent body, nor does he +merely extend it. He creates a new nucleus capable of interchange with +the parent body, but not controlled by it. He wants to build beyond the +current society, and the latter is not strong enough to pull him back +into it. Colonization may take everything else of value in life and give +nothing but itself in return, but the colonists' desire for new life and +growth is great enough to make this sufficient. It is not a mere +transplant of an old life. It is conception and gestation and birth.</p> + +<p>"Our present society allows almost unlimited exercise of the growth +factor in individuals, regardless of how powerful it may be. That is why +we have failed to colonize the planets. They offer no motive or +satisfaction sufficient to outweigh the satisfactions already available. +As a result we've had virtually no applicants coming to us because of +hampered growth. You are one of the very few who might come under our +present approach. And even a very slight change of occupational +conditions would have kept you from coming. You didn't want the +department leadership offered you, because it would limit the personally +creative functions you enjoyed. That one slim, hairbreadth factor +brought you in."</p> + +<p>"But how do you expect now to get any substantial number of colonists?" +exclaimed Jorden.</p> + +<p>"We'll put on a recruiting campaign. We'll go to the creative +groups—the engineers, the planners, the artists—we'll show that +opportunity for creative functioning and growth will be far greater in +the work of building colonial outposts than in any activity they now +enjoy. And we won't have to exaggerate, either. It's true.</p> + +<p>"We'll be able to send out a colony of whom we can be certain. In the +past, colonies have invariably failed when they consisted only of +members fleeing from something, without possessing an adequate growth +factor.</p> + +<p>"When this becomes thoroughly understood in my field, I shall probably +never live down my initial error of assuming that a colonist had to hate +or fear what he left behind in order to leave it forever. The exact +opposite is true. Successful colonization of the Universe by Earthmen +will occur only when there is a love and respect for the Homeland—and a +capacity for complete independence from it."</p> + +<p>Ashby pressed his fingers together and looked at his visitors soberly. +"There is only one thing further," he said. "We've found out also that +Bonnie is not essentially a colonist—"</p> + +<p>Bonnie's face went white. She pushed Jorden's arm away and leaned across +the desk. "You knew—! Then we can't—Why didn't you tell me this in the +beginning?"</p> + +<p>"Please don't be hasty, Bonnie," said Ashby. "As I was about to say, we +have found, however, that another condition exists in which you can +become eligible and stable through a genuine love for a qualified +colonist, to the extent you are willing to follow him completely in his +ambitions and desires. This is strictly a feminine possibility—a woman +can become a sort of second order colonist, you might say.</p> + +<p>"Of course, Jorden, you still have to make the basic decision as to +whether you want to go to Serrengia or not. We have found out merely +that you <i>can</i>."</p> + +<p>"I think there's no doubt about my wanting to," said Jorden.</p> + +<p>He turned Bonnie around in his arms again, and Ashby chuckled mildly. "I +have always said there is no piece of data you cannot find, provided you +can devise the proper experimental procedure for turning it up," he +said.</p> + + + + + + + + +<pre> + + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of The Colonists, by Raymond F. 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Jones + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: The Colonists + +Author: Raymond F. Jones + +Illustrator: Paul Orban + +Release Date: June 4, 2010 [EBook #32687] + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ASCII + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE COLONISTS *** + + + + +Produced by Greg Weeks, Mary Meehan and the Online +Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net + + + + + + + + + + THE COLONISTS + + By Raymond F. Jones + + Illustrated by Paul Orban + +[Transcriber Note: This etext was produced from IF Worlds of Science +Fiction June 1954. Extensive research did not uncover any evidence that +the U.S. copyright on this publication was renewed.] + + +[Sidenote: _If historical precedent be wrong--what qualities, then, must +man possess to successfully colonize new worlds? Doctor Ashby said: +"There is no piece of data you cannot find, provided you can devise the +proper experimental procedure for turning it up." Now--about the man and +the procedure...._] + + +This was the rainy year. Last year had been the dry one, and it would +come again. But they wouldn't be here to see it, Captain Louis Carnahan +thought. They had seen four dry ones, and now had come the fourth wet +one, and soon they would be going home. For them, this was the end of +the cycle. + +At first they had kept track of the days, checking each one off on their +calendars, but the calendars had long since been mingled +indistinguishably with the stuff of the planet itself--along with most +of the rest of their equipment. By that time, however, they had learned +that the cycle of wet and dry seasons was almost precisely equivalent to +a pair of their own Terran years, so they had no more need for the +calendars. + +But at the beginning of this wet season Carnahan had begun marking off +the days once again with scratches on the post of the hut in which he +lived. The chronometers were gone, too, but one and three-quarters Earth +days equalled one Serrengian day, and by that he could compute when the +ships from Earth were due. + +He had dug moats about the hut to keep rain water from coming in over +his dirt floor. Only two of the walls were erected, and he didn't know +or much care whether he would get the other two up or not. Most of the +materials had blown away during the last dry period and he doubted very +much that he would replace them. The two available walls were cornered +against the prevailing winds. The roof was still in good shape, allowing +him a sufficient space free of leaks to accommodate his cooking and the +mat which he called a bed. + +He picked up a gourd container from the rough bench in the center of the +room and took a swallow of the burning liquid. From the front of the hut +he looked out over the rain swept terrain at the circle of huts. +Diametrically across from him he could see Bolinger, the little +biologist, moving energetically about. Bolinger was the only one who had +retained any semblance of scientific interest. He puttered continually +over his collection, which had grown enormously over the eight year +period. + +When they got back, Bolinger at least would have some accomplishment to +view with pride. The rest of them--? + +Carnahan laughed sharply and took another big swallow from the gourd, +feeling the fresh surge of hot liquor already crossing the portals of +his brain, bringing its false sense of wisdom and clarity. He knew it +was false, but it was the only source of wisdom he had left, he told +himself. + +He staggered back to the bed with the gourd. He caught a glimpse of his +image in the small steel mirror on the little table at the end of the +bed. Pausing to stare, he stroked the thick mat of beard and ran his +fingers through the mane of hair that had been very black when he came, +and was now a dirty silver grey. + +He hadn't looked at himself for a long time, but now he had to. He had +to know what they would see when the ships of Earth came to pick up the +personnel of the Base and leave another crew. The image made him sick. + +At the beginning of this final season of the rains, all his life before +coming to Serrengia seemed like a dream that had never been real. Now it +was coming back, as if he were measuring the final distance of a circle +and approaching once again his starting point. He kept remembering more +and more. Watching his image in the mirror, he remembered what General +Winthrop had said on the day of their departure. "The pick of Earth's +finest," the General said. "We have combed the Earth and you are the men +we have chosen to represent Mankind in the far reaches of the Universe. +Remember that wherever you go, there goes the honor of Mankind. Do not, +above all, betray that honor." + +Carnahan clenched his teeth in bitterness. He wished old fatty Winthrop +had come with them. Savagely he upended the gourd and flung it across +the room. It meant a trip to Bailey's hut to get it replenished. Bailey +had been the Chief Physicist. Now he was the official distiller, and the +rotgut he produced was the only thing that made existence bearable. + +The Captain stared again at his own image. "Captain Louis Carnahan," he +murmured aloud. "The pick of Earth's finest--!" He smashed a fist at the +little metal mirror and sent it flying across the room. The table +crashed over, one feeble leg twisting brokenly. Then Carnahan hunched +over with his face buried against the bed. His fists beat against it +while his shoulders jerked in familiar, drunken sobs. + +After it was over he raised up, sitting on the edge of the bed. His mind +burned with devastating clarity. It seemed for once he could remember +everything that had ever happened to him. He remembered it all. He +remembered his childhood under the bright, pleasant sky of Earth. He +remembered his ambition to be a soldier, which meant spaceman, even +then. He remembered his first flight, a simple training tour of the Moon +installations. It convinced him that never again could he consider +himself an Earthman in the sense of one who dwells upon the Earth. His +realm was the sky and the stars. Not even the short period when he had +allowed himself to be in love had changed his convictions. He had +sacrificed everything his career demanded. + +Where had it gone wrong? How could he have allowed himself to forget? +For years he had forgotten, he realized in horror. He had forgotten that +Earth existed. He had forgotten how he came to be here, and why. And all +that he was meant to accomplish had gone undone. For years the +scientific work of the great base expedition had been ignored. Only the +little biologist across the way, pecking at his tasks season after +season, had accomplished anything. + +And now the ships were coming to demand an accounting. + +He groaned aloud as the vision became more terrible. He thought of that +day when they had arrived at the inhospitable and uninhabited world of +Serrengia. He could close his eyes and see it again--the four tall ships +standing on the plateau that was scarred by their landing. The men had +been so proud of what they had done and would yet do. They could see +nothing to defeat them as they unloaded the mountains of equipment and +supplies. + +Now that same equipment lay oozing in the muck of leafy decomposition, +corroded and useless like the men themselves. And in the dry seasons it +had been alternately buried and blasted by the sands and the winds. + +He remembered exactly the day and the hour when they had cracked beyond +all recovery. With an iron hand he had held them for three years. Weekly +he demanded an appearance in full dress uniform, and hard discipline in +all their relationships was the rule. Then one day he let the dress +review go. They had come in from a long trek through a jungle that was +renewing itself after a dry season. Too exhausted in body and spirit, +and filled with an increasing sense of futility, he abandoned for the +moment the formalities he had held to. + +After that it was easy. They fell apart all around him. He tried to hold +them, settling quarrels that verged on mutiny. Then in the sixth month +of the fourth year he had to kill with his own hands the first of his +crazed and rebellious crew. The scientific work disintegrated and was +abandoned. He remembered he had locked up all their notes and +observations and charts, but where he had hidden the metal chest was one +of the few things he seemed unable to recall. + +The more violent of the expedition killed each other off, or wandered +into the jungle or desert and never came back. On the even dozen who +were left there had settled a kind of monastic hermitage. Each man kept +to himself, aware that a hairbreadth trespass against his neighbor would +mean quick challenge to the death. Yet they clung to membership in this +degenerate community as if it represented their last claim to humanness. + +This is what they would see though. They would see his personal failure. +It _was_ his, there was no question of that. If he had been strong he +could have held the expedition together. He could have maintained the +base in all the strength and honor of military tradition that had been +entrusted to him. He hadn't been strong enough. + +The ships would come. The four of them. They might come tomorrow or even +today. A panic crept through him. The ships could land at any time now, +and their men would come marching out to greet him in his failure and +cowardice and his dishonor. It must not happen. Old fatty Winthrop had +said one thing that made sense: "--there goes the honor of Mankind. Do +not, above all, betray that honor." + +Fatty was right. The only thing he had left was honor, and in only one +way could he retain it. + +With the fiery clarity burning in his brain he struggled from where he +lay and picked up the metallic mirror and hung it from the post near the +bed. He turned up the broken table against the wall. Then, with the air +of one who has not been on the premises for a long time he began +searching through the long unused chests stacked in the corner. The +contents were for the most part in a state of decay, but he found his +straight edged razor in the oiled pouch where he had last placed it. + +There should have been shaving detergent, but he couldn't find it. He +contented himself with preparing hot water, then slowly and painfully +hacked the thick beard away and scraped his face clean. He found a comb +and raked it through his tangled mat of hair, arranging it in some vague +resemblance to the cut he used to wear. + +From the chests he drew forth the dress uniform he had put away so long +ago. Fortunately, it had been in the center, surrounded by other +articles so that it was among the best preserved of his possessions. He +donned it in place of the rags he wore. The shoes were almost completely +hard from lack of care, but he put them on anyway and brushed the toes +with a scrap of cloth. + +From underneath his bed he took his one possession which he had kept in +meticulous repair, his service pistol. Then he stood up, buttoning and +smoothing his coat, and smiled at himself in the little mirror. But his +gaze shifted at once to something an infinity away. + +"'Do not, above all, betray that honor.' At least you gave us one good +piece of advice, fatty," he said. + +Carefully, he raised the pistol to his head. + + * * * * * + +Hull number four was erect and self-supporting. Its shell enclosure was +complete except for necessary installation openings. And in Number One +the installations were complete and the ship's first test flight was +scheduled for tomorrow morning. + +John Ashby looked from the third story window of his office toward the +distant assembly yards on the other side of the field. The four hulls +stood like golden flames in the afternoon sunlight. Ashby felt defeated +by the speed with which the ships were being completed. It was almost as +if the engineers had a special animosity toward him, which they +expressed in their unreasonable speed of construction. This was +nonsense, of course. They had a job to do and were proud if they could +cut time from their schedule. + +But there was no cutting time from _his_ schedule, and without the +completion of his work the ships would not fly. He had to find men +capable of taking them on their fantastic journeys. To date, he had +failed. + +He glanced down at the black car with government markings, which had +driven in front of the building a few moments before, and then he heard +Miss Haslam, his secretary, on the interphone. "The Colonization +Commission, Dr. Ashby." + +He turned from the window. "Have them come in at once," he said. + +He strode to the door and shook hands with each of the men. Only four of +them had come: Mr. Merton, Chairman; General Winthrop; Dr. Cowper; and +Dr. Boxman. + +"Please have seats over here by the window," Ashby suggested. + +They accepted and General Winthrop stood a moment looking out. "A +beautiful sight, aren't they, Ashby?" he said. "They get more beautiful +every day. You ought to get over more often. Collins says you haven't +been around the place for weeks, and Number One is going up tomorrow." + +"We've had too much to occupy us here." + +"_My_ men are ready," said the General pointedly. "We could supply a +dozen crews to take those ships to Serrengia and back, and man the base +there." + +Ashby turned away, ignoring the General's comment. He took a chair at +the small conference table where the three Commissioners had seated +themselves. Winthrop followed, settling in his chair with a smile, as if +he had scored a major point. + +"Number One is ready," said Merton, "and still you have failed to offer +us a single man, Dr. Ashby. The Commission feels that the time is very +near when definite action will have to be taken. We have your reports, +but we wanted a personal word with you to see if we couldn't come to +some understanding as to what we can expect." + +"I will send you the men when I find out what kind of man we need," said +Ashby. "Until then there had better be no thought of releasing the +colonization fleet. I will not be responsible for any but the right +answers to this problem." + +"We are getting to the point," said Boxman, "where we feel forced to +consider the recommendations of General Winthrop. Frankly, we have never +been able to fully understand your objections." + +"There'll never be a time when I cannot supply all the men needed to +establish this base," said Winthrop. "We spend unlimited funds and years +of time training personnel for posts of this kind, yet you insist on +looking for unprepared amateurs. It makes no sense whatever, and only +because you have been given complete charge of the personnel program +have you been able to force your views on the Commission. But no one +understands you. In view of your continued failure, the Commission is +going to be forced to make its own choice." + +"My resignation may be had at any time," said Ashby. + +"No, no, Dr. Ashby." Merton held up his hand. "The General is perhaps +too impulsive in his disappointment that you have failed us so far, but +we do not ask for your resignation. We do ask if there is not some way +in which you might see fit to use the General's men in manning the +base." + +"The whole answer lies in the erroneous term you persist in applying to +this project," said Ashby. "It is not a base, and never will be. We +propose to set up a colony. It makes an enormous difference with respect +to the kind of men required. We've been over this before--" + +"But not enough," snapped Winthrop. "We'll continue to go over it until +you understand you can't waste those ships on a bunch of half-baked +idealists inspired by some noble nonsense about carrying on the torch of +human civilization beyond the stars. We're putting up a base, to gather +scientific data and establish rights of occupancy." + +"I don't think I agree with your description of my proposed party of +colonists," said Ashby mildly. + +"That's what they'll be! Were colonists ever anything but psalm singing +rebels or cutthroats trying to escape hanging? You're not going to +establish a cultural and scientific base with such people." + +"No, you're quite right. That's not the kind." + +"What is it you're looking for?" said Merton irritably. "What kind of +men do you want, if you can't find them among the best and the worst +humanity offers." + +"Your terms are hardly accurate," said Ashby. "You fail to recognize the +fact that we have never known what kind of man it takes to colonize. You +ignore the fact that we have never yet successfully colonized the +planets of our own Solar System. Bases, yes--but all our colonies have +failed to date." + +"What better evidence could you ask for in support of my argument?" +demanded Winthrop. "We've _proved_ bases are practical, and that +colonies are not." + +"No matter how far away or how long the periods of rotation, a man +assigned to a base expects to return home. Night or day, in the +performance of any duty, there is in his mind as a working background +the recognition that at some future time he can go home. His base is +never his home." + +"Precisely. That is what makes the base successful." + +Ashby shook his head. "No base is ever successful from the standpoint of +permanent extension of a civilization. By its very nature it is +transitory, impermanent. That is not what we want now." + +"We have the concept of permanent bases in military thinking," said +Winthrop. "You can't generalize in that fashion." + +"Name for me a single military or expeditionary base that continued its +permanency over any extended period of history." + +"Well--now--" + +"The concept is invalid," said Ashby. "Extensions of humanity from one +area to another on a permanent basis are made by colonists. Men who do +not expect to rotate, but come to live and establish homes. This is what +we want on Serrengia. Humanity is preparing to make an extension of +itself in the Universe. + +"But more than this, there are limitations of time and distance in the +establishment of bases, which cannot be overcome by any amount of +training of personnel. Cycles of rotation and distances from home can be +lengthened beyond the capacity of men to endure. It is only when they go +out with _no_ expectation of return that time and distance cease to +control them." + +"We do not know of any such limitations," said Winthrop. "They have not +been met here in the Solar System." + +"We know them," said Ashby. "The thing we have not found and which we +must discover before those ships depart is the quality that makes it +possible for a man to ignore time and distance and his homeland. We know +a good deal about the successful colonists of Earth's history. We know +that invariably they were of some minority group which felt itself +persecuted or limited by conditions surrounding it, or else they were +fleeing the results of some crime." + +"If that is what you are looking for, it is no wonder you have failed," +said Dr. Cowper. "We have no such minority groups in our society." + +"Very true," Ashby replied. "But it is not the condition of fleeing or +being persecuted that generates the qualities of a perfect colonist by +any means! We have examples enough of adequately persecuted groups who +failed as colonists. But there is some quality, which seems to appear, +if at all, only in some of those who have courage enough to flee their +oppression or limiting conditions. This quality makes them successful in +their colonization. + +"We are looking first, therefore, for individuals who would have the +courage to resist severe limitations to the extent of flight, if such +limitations existed. And among these we hope to find the essence of that +which makes it possible for a man to cut all ties with his homeland." + +"So you are making your search," said Merton, "among the potentially +rebellious and criminal?" + +Ashby nodded. "We have confined our study to these individuals as a +result of strict historical precedent so that we might narrow the search +as much as possible. You must understand, however, that to choose merely +the rebellious and staff our ships with these would be foolhardy. It +would be a ridiculous shotgun technique. _Some_ of them would succeed, +but we would never know which it would be. We might send twenty or a +thousand ships out and establish one successful colony. + +"We have to do much better than that. Our consumption of facilities on +this project is so great that we have to _know_, within a negligible +margin of error, that when these groups are visited in eight or fifty +years from now we will find a community of cooperative, progressive +human beings. We cannot be satisfied with less!" + +"I'm afraid the majority of sentiment in the Commission is not in +agreement with you," said Mr. Merton. "To oppose General Winthrop's +trained crews with selected cutthroats and traitors may have historical +precedent, but it scarcely seems the optimum procedure in this case! + +"We are willing to be shown proof of your thesis, Dr. Ashby, but we have +certain realities of which we are sure. If we can do no better, we shall +take the best available to us at the time the ships are ready. If you +cannot supply us with proven crews and colonists by then we shall be +forced to accept General Winthrop's recommendations and choose personnel +whose reactions are at least known and predictable to a high degree. I'm +sorry, but surely you can understand our position in this matter." + +For a long time Ashby was silent, looking from one to the other of the +faces about the table. Then he spoke in a low voice, as if having +reached the extremity of his resources. "Yes--the reactions of +Winthrop's men are indeed known. I suggest that you come with me and I +will show you what those reactions are." + +He stood up and the others followed with inquiring expressions on their +faces. Winthrop made a short, jerky motion of his head, as if he +detected a hidden sting in Ashby's words. "What do you mean by that?" he +demanded. + +"You don't suppose that our examinations would neglect the men on whom +you have spent so much time and effort in training?" + +The General flushed with rage. "If you've tampered with any of my men--! +You had no right--!" + +The other Commission members were smiling in faint amusement at the +General's discomfiture. + +"I should think it would be to your advantage to check the results of +your training," said Mr. Merton. + +"There is only one possible check!" exclaimed General Winthrop. "Put +these men on a base for a period of eight years and at a distance of +forty seven light years from home and see what they will do. That is the +only way you can check on them." + +"And if you know anything about our methods of testing, you will +understand that this, in effect, is what we have done. Your best man is +about to be released from the test pit. He can't have more than an hour +to go." + +"Who have you got in your guinea pig pen?" the General demanded. "If +you've ruined him--" + +"Captain Louis Carnahan," said Ashby. "Shall we go down, gentlemen?" + + * * * * * + +It had been a grisly business, watching the final minutes of Carnahan's +disintegration. General Winthrop's face was almost purple when he saw +the test pit in which Carnahan was being examined. He tried to tear out +the observation lens with his bare hands as he saw the Captain lift the +loaded pistol to his head in the moment before the safety beam cut in. + +And now Ashby kept hearing Winthrop's furious, scathing voice: "You have +destroyed one of the best men the Service has ever produced! I'll have +your hide for this, Ashby, if it's the last act of my life." + +Merton and the others had been shocked also by the violence and +degradation of what they saw, but whether he had made his point or not, +Ashby didn't know. Carnahan, of course, would be returned to the Service +within twenty four hours, all adverse effects of the test completely +removed. He would be aware that he had taken it and had not passed, but +there would be no trace of the bitter emotions generated during those +days of examination. + +Ashby looked out again at the four hulls now turning from gold to red as +the sun dropped lower in the sky. He had not asked Merton if the +ultimatum was going to stick. He wondered how they could insist on it +after what they had seen, but he didn't _know_. + +Impatiently, he turned from the window as Miss Haslam's voice came on +the intercom once more. "Dr. Ashby, Mr. Jorden is still waiting to see +you." + +Jorden. He had forgotten. The man had been waiting during his conference +with the Commissioners. Jorden was the one who had been rejected for +examination two weeks ago and insisted he had a _right_ to be examined +for colonization factors. He had been trying to get in ever since. He +might as well get rid of the man once and for all, Ashby decided +reluctantly. + +"Show him in," he said. + +Mark Jorden was a tall, blond man in his late twenties. Shaking hands +with him, Ashby felt thick, strong fingers and glimpsed a massive wrist +at the edge of the coat sleeve. Jorden's face was a pleasant +Scandinavian pink, matched by blue eyes that looked intently into +Ashby's face. + +They sat at the desk. "You want to be a colonist," said Ashby. "You say +you want to settle forty seven light years from Earth for the rest of +your life. And our preliminary psycho tests indicate you have scarcely a +vestige of the basic qualities required. Why do you insist on the full +examination?" + +Jorden smiled and shook his head honestly. "I don't know exactly. It +seems like something I'd enjoy doing. Maybe it's in my people--they +liked to move around and see new places. They were seamen in the days +when there weren't any charts to sail by." + +"It's certain that this is a situation without charts to sail by," said +Ashby, "but I hardly think the word 'enjoy' is applicable. Have you +thought at all of what existence means at that distance from Earth, with +no communication whatever except a ship every eight years or so? +Qualifications just a trifle short of insanity are required for a +venture of that kind." + +"I'm sure you don't mean that, Dr. Ashby," said Jorden reprovingly. + +"Perhaps not," said Ashby. His visitor's calm assurance irritated him, +as if _he_ were the one who knew what a colonist ought to be. "I see by +your application you're an electrical engineer." + +Jorden nodded. "Yes. My company has just offered me the head of the +department, but I had to explain I was putting in an application for +colonist. They think I'm crazy, of course." + +"Does taking the examination mean giving up your promotion?" + +"I'm not sure. But I rather think they will pass me up and give it to +one of the other men." + +"You want to go badly enough to risk giving up that chance in order to +take an examination which will unquestionably show you have no +qualifications whatever to be a colonist?" + +"I think I'm qualified," said Jorden. "I insist on being given the +chance. I believe I have the right to it." + +Ashby tried to restrain his irritation. What Jorden said was perhaps +true. No one had ever raised the point before. Those previously rejected +by the preliminary tests had withdrawn in good grace. It seemed +senseless to waste the time of a test pit and its large crew on an +obviously hopeless applicant. On the other hand, he couldn't afford to +have Jorden stirring up trouble with the Colonization Commission at this +critical time--and he could guess that was exactly what Jorden's next +move would be if he were turned down again. + +"Our machines will find out everything about you later," said Ashby, +"but I'd like you to tell me about yourself so that I may feel +personally acquainted with you." + +Jorden shrugged. "There's not much to tell. I had the usual schooling, +which wasn't anything impressive. I had my three year hitch in the +Service, and I suppose that's where I began to feel there was something +available in life which I had never anticipated. I suppose it sounds +very silly to you, but when I first put a foot on the Moon I felt like +crying. I picked up a handful of pumice and let it sift through my +fingers. I looked out toward Mars and felt as if I could go anywhere, +that I ought to go everywhere. + +"The medicos told me later that it was a crazy sort of feeling that +everyone gets his first time out, but I didn't believe them. I didn't +believe it was quite the same with anyone else. When I got out to Mars +finally, and during my one tour on Pluto, it seemed to get worse instead +of decreasing as they told me it would. When I got out I took a job in +my profession, and I've been satisfied, but I've never been able to get +rid of the feeling there's something I'm missing, something I ought to +be doing. It's connected with everything out there." He lifted a broad +hand and gestured to the horizon beyond the windows. + +"Perhaps your career should have been in the Service," suggested Ashby. + +"No. That was good enough while it lasted, but they didn't have anything +I wanted permanently. When I heard about the proposed colonization on +Serrengia that seemed to be it." + +"Your application indicates you are not married." + +"That's right," said Jorden. "I have no ties to hold me back." + +"You understand, of course, that as a colonist you will be expected to +marry, either before leaving or soon after arrival. Colonial life is +family life." + +"I hadn't thought much about that, but it can't be too bad, I suppose. I +presume my choice would be quite severely limited to a fellow colonist?" + +"Correct." + +"There is a story about my third or fourth grandfather who was given a +girl to marry the night before he sailed from his homeland to settle in +a new country. They had seventeen children and were said to be +extraordinarily happy. My family still owns the homestead they cleared. +I was born there." + +"It can be done, but it doesn't conform closely with our currently +accepted social mores," said Ashby hopefully. + +"I'm sure that won't stand in my way. If there's a woman who's willing +to take a chance, I certainly will be." + +"There's one more thing we have to know," said Ashby. "What are you +running away from? Who or what are your enemies?" + +Jorden laughed uncertainly. "I'm sorry, but I'm not running away from +anything. As far as I know I have no enemies." + +"_All_ colonists are running from something," said Ashby. "Otherwise +they would stay where they are." + +Jorden regarded him a moment in silence, then smiled slowly. "I think +you are going to have occasion to revise that thesis," he said. + +"A great deal of history would also have to be revised if we did," said +Ashby. "At any rate, let's go down to the test pits. I'll show you +what's in store for you there, and you can further decide if you insist +on going through with it." + + * * * * * + +The laboratories of the Institute of Social Science were spread over a +forty acre area, consisting mostly of the test pits where experimental +examination of proposed colonists was being conducted. Ashby led his +visitor to the ground floor where they took a pair of the electric +cycles used for transportation along the vast corridors of the +laboratory. + +A quarter of a mile away they stopped and entered a glassed-in control +room fitted with a number of desks and extensive banks of electronic +equipment. + +"This almost looks like a good sized computer setup," said Jorden +admiringly. + +"We use computers extensively, but this equipment is merely the +recording and control apparatus for the synthetic environment +established in the test pit. Please step this way." + +The control room was empty now, but during a test it was occupied by a +dozen technicians. It was a highly unorthodox procedure to show a +prospective colonist the test pit setup before examination, but Ashby +still had hopes of shunting Jorden aside without wasting the facilities +on a useless test. + +They moved to an observation post and Ashby directed Jorden's attention +to the observation lenses. "We cleaned out here this afternoon," he +said. "A Captain of the Service last occupied the pit." + +Jorden looked up inquiringly. "Did he--?" + +"No. He didn't make it. Tomorrow morning you will be given a +preconditioning which will set up the basic situation that you have +traveled to Serrengia and are now established there in the colony. We +will begin the test at a period of some length after establishment +there, when difficulties begin to pile up. Other members of the party +will be laboratory staff people who will provide specific, guiding +stimuli to determine your reaction to them." + +"Are they there constantly, night and day?" + +"No. When you are asleep their day's work is over and they go home." + +"What if I wake up and find the whole setup is a phony?" + +"You won't. We have control beams constantly focussed upon the persons +being tested. These are used to keep him asleep when desirable, and to +control him to the extent of preventing him doing physical harm to +himself or others." + +"Is that necessary?" said Jorden dubiously. "Why should anyone wish to +do harm?" + +"The Captain, whom we released today, was pushed to the point of +suicide," said Ashby. "We find it _quite_ necessary to assure ourselves +of adequate control at all times." + +"How can you set up the illusion of distance and a whole new world in +such a comparatively small area?" + +"It _is_ illusion, a great deal of it. Some is induced along with the +initial preconditioning, other features are done mechanically, but when +you are there you will have no doubt whatever that you are a colonist on +the planet Serrengia. You will act accordingly, and respond to the +stimuli exactly as if you had been transported to the actual planet. In +this way, we are sure of finding colonists who will not blow up when +they face the real situation." + +"How many have you found so far?" + +"None." + +Jorden was shaken for a moment, but he smiled then and said, "You have +found one. Put my name down on the books." + +"We'll see," said Ashby grimly. "Your colony will be in the limited belt +of the planet's northern hemisphere where considerable agriculture is +possible. You'll be in the midst of a group trying to beat a living from +a world which is neither excessively hostile nor conducive to indolence. +Some of the people will be bitter and wish they had never come. They +will break up in groups and fight each other. They will challenge every +reason you have for your own coming. You will face your own personal +impoverishment, the death of your child--" + +"Child?" said Jorden. + +"Yes. You will be provided with a wife and three children. One of these +will die, and you will react as if it were your own flesh. Your wife +will oppose your staying, and demand a return to Earth. We will throw at +you every force available to tear down your determination to build a +colony. We shall test in every possible way the validity of your +decision to go. Do you still wish to go through with it?" + +Jorden's grin was somewhat fainter. He took a deep breath as he nodded +slowly. "Yes, I'll go through with it. I think it's what I want." + + * * * * * + +When Ashby finally returned alone to the office, Miss Haslam had gone +home. He put in a call anyway for Dr. Bonnie Nathan. She usually +remained somewhere in the laboratory until quite late, even when not +assigned to a test. + +In a few minutes her voice came over the phone. "John? What can I do for +you?" + +"I thought I could let you off for a few days," said Ashby, "but we've +got another one that's come up rather suddenly." He told her briefly +about Mark Jorden. "It's useless, but I don't want him running to the +Commission right now, so we'll put him through. You'll be the wife. +We'll use Program Sixty Eight, except that we'll accelerate it." + +"Accelerate--!" + +"Yes. It won't hurt him any. Whatever happens we can wipe up afterwards. +This is simply a nuisance and I want it out of the way as quickly as +possible. After that--perhaps I can give you those few days I promised +you. O.K.?" + +"It's all right with me," said Bonnie. "But an accelerated Sixty +Eight--" + + * * * * * + +They stood on a low hillock overlooking the ninety acres of bottom land +salvaged from the creek grass. Mark Jorden shaded his eyes and squinted +critically over the even stand of green shoots emerging from the bronzed +soil. Germination had been good in spite of the poor planting time. The +chance of getting a crop out was fair. If they didn't they'd be eating +shoe plastic in another few months. + +The ten year old boy beside him clutched his hand and edged closer as if +there were something threatening him from the broad fields. "Isn't there +any way at all for Earth to send us food," he said, "if we don't get a +crop?" + +"We have to make believe Earth doesn't exist, Roddy," said Jorden. "We +couldn't even let them know we need help, we're so far away." He gripped +the boy's shoulders solidly in his big hands and drew him close. "We +aren't going to need any help from Earth. We're going to make it on our +own. After all, what would they do on Earth if they couldn't make it? +Where would they go for outside help?" + +"I know," said the boy, "but there are so many of them they can't fail. +Here, there's only the few of us." + +Jorden patted his shoulder gently again as they started moving toward +the rough houses a half mile away. "That makes it all the easier for +us," he said. "We don't have to worry about the ones who won't +cooperate. We can't lose with the setup we've got." + +It was harder for Roddy. He remembered Earth, although he had been only +four when they left. He still remembered the cities and the oceans and +the forests he had known so briefly, and was cursed with the human +nostalgia for a past that seemed more desirable than an unknown, fearful +future. + +Of the other children, Alice had been a baby when they left, and Jerry +had been born during the trip. They knew only Serrengia and loved its +wild, uncompromising rigor. They spent their abandoned wildness of +childhood in the nearby hills and forests. But with Roddy it was +different. Childhood seemed to have slipped by him. He was moody, and +moved carefully in constant fear of this world he would never willingly +call home. Jorden's heart ached with longing to instill some kind of joy +into him. + +"That looks like Mr. Tibbets," said Roddy suddenly, his eyes on the new +log house. + +"I believe you're right," said Jorden. "It looks like Roberts and +Adamson with him. Quite a delegation. I wonder what they want." + +The colony consisted of about a hundred families, each averaging five +members. Originally they had settled on a broad plateau at some distance +from the river. It was a good location overlooking hundreds of miles of +desert and forest land. Its soil was fertile and the river water was +lifted easily through the abundant power of the community atomic energy +plant which had been brought from Earth. + +Three months ago, however, the power plant had been destroyed in a +disastrous explosion that killed almost a score of the colonists. Crops +for their next season's food supply were half matured and could not be +saved by any means available. + +The community was broken into a number of smaller groups. Three of +these, composed of fifteen families each, moved to the low lands along +the river bank and cleared acreage for new crops in a desperate hope of +getting a harvest before the season ended. They had not yet learned +enough of the cycle of weather in this area to predict it with much +accuracy. + +Mark Jorden was in charge of one of the farms and the elected leader of +the village in which he lived. + +Tibbets was an elderly man from the same village. In his middle sixties, +he presented a puzzle to Jorden as to why he had been permitted to come. +Roberts and Adamson were from the settlements farther down the river. + +Jorden felt certain of the reason for their visit. He didn't want to +hear what they had to say, but he knew he might as well get it over +with. + +They hailed him from the narrow wooden porch. Jorden came up the steps +and shook hands with each. "Won't you come in? I'm sure Bonnie can find +something cool to drink." + +Tibbets wiped his thin, wrinkled brow. "She already has. That girl of +yours doesn't waste any time being told what to do. It's too bad some of +the others can't pitch in the way Bonnie does." + +Jorden accepted the praise without comment, wondering if no one else at +all were aware of the hot, violent protests she sometimes poured out +against him because of the colony. + +"Come in anyway," Jorden said. "I have to go back to the watering in a +little while, but you can take it easy till then." He led the way into +the log house. + +Their homes on the plateau had been decent ones. With adequate power +they had made lumber and cement, and within a year of their landing had +built a town of fine homes. Among those who had been forced to abandon +them, no one was more bitter than Bonnie. "You're no farmer," she said. +"Why can't those who are be the ones to move?" + +Now, when he came into the kitchen, she was tired, but she tried to +smile as always at her pleasure in seeing him again. He couldn't imagine +what it would be like not having her to welcome him from the fields. + +"I'll get something cool for you and Roddy," she said. "Would you +gentlemen like another drink?" + +When they were settled in the front room Tibbets spoke. "You know why +we've come, Mark. The election is only a couple of months away. We can't +have Boggs in for another term of governor. You've got to say you'll run +against him." + +"As I told you last time, Boggs may be a poor excuse for the job, but +I'd be worse. He's at least an administrator. I'm only an engineer--and +more recently a farmer." + +"We've got something new, now," said Tibbets, his eyes suddenly cold and +meaningful. + +"The talk about his deliberately blowing up the power plant? Talk of +that kind could blow up the whole colony as well. Boggs may have his +faults but he's not insane." + +"We've got proof now," said Tibbets. "It's true. Adamson's got the +evidence. He got one of the engineers who escaped the blast to talk. +It's one of them who were supposed to have been killed. He's so scared +of Boggs he's still hiding out. But he's got the proof and those who are +helping him know it's true." + +"Tibbets is right," said Adamson earnestly. "We know it's true. And +something like that can't stay hidden. It's got to be brought out if +we're going to make the colony survive. You can't just shut your eyes to +it and say, 'Good old Boggs would never do a thing like that.'" + +Jorden's eyes were darker as he spoke in low tones now, hoping Roddy +would not be listening in the kitchen. "Suppose it is true. Why would +Boggs do such an insane thing?" + +"Because he's an insane man," said Tibbets. "That's the obvious answer. +He wants to destroy the colony and limit its growth. He was satisfied to +come here and be elected governor and run the show. He saw it as means +of becoming a two-bit dictator over a group of subservient colonists. It +hasn't turned out that way. He found a large percentage of engineers and +scientists who would have none of his nonsense. + +"He saw the group becoming something bigger than himself. He had to cut +it down to his own size. He's willing to destroy what he can't possess, +but he believes that by reducing us to primitive status he can keep us +in line. In either case the colony loses." + +"If what you say is true--if it's actually true," Jorden said, his eyes +suddenly far away, "we've got to fight him--" + +"Then we can count on you?" + +"Yes--you can count on me." + + * * * * * + +He stood in the doorway watching the departure of the three men, but he +was aware of Bonnie behind him. She rushed to him as he turned, and put +her face against his chest. + +"Mark--you can't do it! Boggs will kill you. This is no concern of ours. +We don't belong to Maintown any more. It's their business up there. I'd +go crazy if anything happened to you. You've got to think of the rest of +us!" + +"I am thinking," said Mark. He raised her chin so he could look into her +eyes. "I'm thinking that we are going to live here the rest of our +lives, and so are the children. If the story about Boggs is true, we're +all concerned. We wouldn't be down here if the power plant hadn't been +destroyed. We'd be living in our good home in Maintown. Would you expect +me to let Boggs get away with this without raising a hand to stop him?" + +"Yes--I would," said Bonnie, "because there is nothing anyone can do. +You know he has Maintown in the palm of his hand. He's screened out +every ruffian and soured colonist in the whole group and they'll do +anything he says. You can't fight them all, Mark. I won't let you." + +"It won't be me alone," said Jorden. "If it develops into a fight the +majority of the colony will be with us. Earth will be with us. Boggs +will be facing the results of the whole two billion year struggle it +took to make man what he now is." + + * * * * * + +In the lounge off the lab cafeteria, Ashby indulged in a late coffee +knowing he wouldn't sleep anyway. Across the table Bonnie ate sparingly +of a belated supper. + +"The threat of having to fight Boggs didn't give him much of a scare," +said Ashby thoughtfully. + +"It'll take a lot more than a bogey man like Boggs to scare Mark," said +Bonnie. "You've got yourself a bigger quantity of man than you bargained +for." + +"This might turn out to be more interesting than we thought. I wish +there were more time to spend on him. But Merton called up again today +to verify the ultimatum I told you about. We produce colonists by the +time Hull Four is complete or they turn the personnel problem over to +Winthrop--even after they saw Carnahan go to pieces before their eyes." + +"Has it ever occurred to you," said Bonnie slowly, "that we might just +possibly be off on the wrong foot? How do you know that any of the +colonists of Earth's history could have stood up to the demands of +Serrengia? I'm beginning to suspect that the Mayflower's passenger list +would have folded quite completely under these conditions. They had it +comparatively easy. So did most other successful colonists." + +"Yes--?" said Ashby. + +"Maybe they succeeded in _spite_ of being rebels. If they could have +come to the new lands without the pressure of flight, but in complete +freedom of action, they might have made an even greater success." + +"But why would they have come at all, then?" + +"I don't know. There must be another motive capable of impelling them. +In great feats of exploration, creation--other human actions similar to +colonization--" + +"There are _no_ other human actions similar to colonization," said +Ashby. "Surely you realize we're dealing with something unique here, +Bonnie!" + +"I know--all I'm trying to say is there could be another valid motive. I +think Mark Jorden's got it. There's something different about this test, +and I think you ought to look in on it yourself." + +"What's so different about him?" + +"He doesn't act like the rest. He hasn't any apparent reason for being +here." + +Ashby looked at the girl closely. She was one of his top staff members +and had been with him from the beginning. The incredible strain of +working day after day in the test pits was showing its effects, he +thought. + +"I shouldn't have let you get started on this one," he said. "You're +fagged out. Maybe it would be better to erase what we've done and start +over, so that you can drop out." + +She shook her head with a quickness that surprised him. "I want to +finish it, and see how Mark turns out. I'm so used to working with the +bitter, anti-social ones that it's a relief to have someone who is +halfway normal and gregarious. I want to be around when we find out why +he's here." + +"Especially if he should go all the way to the end. But he won't--" + + * * * * * + +Ashby was genuinely concerned about Bonnie's condition when he looked in +on her the next morning. The strain on her face was real beyond any +matter of make-up or acting. He wondered just why she should be giving +in to it now. Bonnie was well trained, as were all the staff members who +worked in the test pits. The emotional conflicts mocked up there were +not allowed to penetrate very deeply into their personal experience, yet +it looked now as if Bonnie had somehow lost control of the armor to +protect against such invasion. She seemed to be living the circumstances +of the test program almost as intensely as Mark Jorden was doing. + +Such a condition couldn't be permitted to continue, but he was baffled +by it. Her physical and emotional check prior to the test had not shown +her threshold to be this low. Evidently there was emotional dynamite +buried somewhere in the situation they had manufactured. + +Through the observation lens of the test pit Ashby watched Jorden begin +a tour of the villages, making a quiet investigation of the situation, +which he had all but ignored until it was forced to his attention. +Jorden spent an hour with Adamson, listening carefully to the atomic +engineer's story, and then was led to the hiding place of the engineer +who claimed direct evidence that Boggs had instigated the explosion at +the power plant. + +As Adamson left them, Ashby signaled him through the tiny button buried +in the skin behind his right ear. "This is Ashby," he said. "How does it +look? Do you think he's going to tackle Boggs?" + +"No question of that." Adamson's words came back, although he made no +movement of his mouth or throat. "Jorden is one of these people with a +lot of inertia. It takes a big push to get him moving, but when he +really gets rolling there isn't much that can stop him, either. You're +really going to have to put the pressure on to find his cracking point." + +"I'm afraid we're likely to find Bonnie's first. There's something about +this that's hitting her too hard. Do you know what it is?" + +"No," said Adamson. "I thought I noticed it a little yesterday, too. +Maybe we ought to check her out." + +"She insists on completing the program. And I'd like to go all the way +with Jorden. I'm becoming rather curious about him. Keep an eye on +Bonnie and let me know what you think at the end of the shift." + +"I'll do that," said Adamson. + + * * * * * + +Jorden followed his guide for more than a mile beyond the last village +on the bank of the river. There, in a willow hidden cave in the clay +bank, he found James, the atomic engineer who was reported to know of +Boggs' attack on the power plant. + +"I told him you were coming," said Adamson, "but I'm going to leave. You +can make out better if you're alone with him. He's bitter, but he isn't +armed, and he'll go along with you if you don't push him too hard." + +Jorden watched Adamson disappear along the bank in the direction from +which they had come. He had a feeling of utter ridiculousness. This +wasn't what they had come for! They had come to build an outpost of +human beings, to establish man's claim in this sector of the Universe. +And they were ending in a petty conflict worthy of the politics of +centuries before, back on Earth. + +His face took on a harder set as he approached the mouth of the cave and +whistled the signal notes that Adamson had taught him. If the +establishment of the colony demanded this kind of fight then he was +willing to enter the battle. He had not dedicated the remainder of his +life to a goal only to abandon it to a petty tyrant like Boggs. + +A bearded face peered cautiously through parted willows and James' voice +spoke. "You're Jorden? I suppose by now everybody in the villages knows +where I'm hiding out. I'm the world's prize fool for letting this parade +come past my place. Come in and I'll tell you what I know. If you help +get Boggs it will be worth anything it costs me." + +Jorden followed the man through the screening willows to the mouth of +the cave. There the two of them squatted on rocks opposite each other. + +"I remember you now," said James. "You set up the electric plant when we +were assembling the pile, didn't you? I thought we'd worked together." + +Jorden nodded, hoping James would go on, remembering Adamson's caution +not to push him too hard, but the engineer seemed to have nothing more +to say. He rubbed a hand forcibly against his other arm and looked +beyond the mouth of the cave to the slow moving river. + +"This business concerning Boggs' destruction of the plant--how did it +start?" said Jorden finally. + +"How does anything of that kind start?" said James. "Boggs came to some +of us and remarked in casual conversation what a shame it would be if +the colony were to duplicate all over again the mistakes that Earth have +made during the past thousands of years. A few of us were sympathetic +with that thought--it would indeed be a shame. Some of the engineers +thought that this was the perfect chance to set up a truly scientific +society. They didn't agree that Boggs was the ideal leader, but he _was_ +the leader and the obvious one to work through. They all became +convinced that a rapid industrialization and a highly technological +society built upon the old rusty foundations would be most difficult to +overcome in building a society on truly adequate sociological +principles. You can take it from there." + +Yes, he could, Jorden thought. Anybody could take it from there. It was +the oldest lie that men of power and position had ever concocted. Why +had those particular colonists fallen for it? + +"What about you?" he asked James. "Were you sucked in by Boggs' +arguments?" + +The engineer nodded. "He took all of us. And all along he never intended +that more than a couple would get out alive--by double crossing the +others." + +"Why?" said Jorden. + +"Why? I've thought a lot about that, living here in this mudhole. You +get to thinking about things like that when you realize there's no going +back, that Boggs would kill me on sight for what I could tell--and that +the other colonists would also, because of what I've done. Adamson says +I can trust him. He says I can trust you. But I don't trust anybody. I +know that someday soon I'm going to get a bullet in the head from one of +you. All I'm hoping is that some of you hate Boggs enough to get him +first." + +"Why did you come to Serrengia in the first place?" + +"To get away. Why did anyone come? You don't give up everything you've +got in order to go to some strange world and spend the rest of your life +unless you've got a reason. Unless you hate what you've got so much +you're willing to try anything else. Unless you're so terribly afraid of +what could happen to you back there that you're willing to face any kind +of dangers out here. We all had our reasons. I'm not asking yours. It +makes no difference to you what mine were. But they're all alike. We +came because we were so afraid or full of hate we couldn't stay." + +"How did you expect to build a new world out of hate and fear of the old +one?" + +"Who worried about what we'd build here? All we wanted to do was get +away. You can't tell me _you_ came for any other reason!" + + * * * * * + +Jorden made no answer. He continued to stare in wonder at the atomic +engineer. To what extent were James' words actually true? How completely +was the colony riddled with unpredictable, purposeless characters like +him? + +If they had fled Earth with a purpose to create something better than +they left, there was a chance. But if James was right that most of them +had come in blind flight with no goal at all then the Earth colony of +Serrengia would be dead long before the ships came again. + +But Jorden did not believe this. He did not believe that any but a small +fraction of the colonists had any feeling toward Earth except that of +love. Most had come because they wanted to do this particular thing with +their lives. Nothing had driven or forced them to it. + +"Tell me what Boggs did, and what he persuaded you to do," said Jorden. + +In detail, James told him how Boggs had gained influence with the +technicians necessary to prepare the plant for destruction, how he had +persuaded them that a new, idealistic social order demanded their +obedience to this fantastic plan. Then, under the Governor's direction, +two of the men betrayed the rest. Only James, who was at a slight +distance from his normal operating post that night, had escaped with +non-fatal injuries. + +"I know how you feel," said James. "You'd like to stick a knife into me +now. But until you succeed in disposing of Boggs, you need to be sure +I'm alive. When that's over you'll send someone around to take care of +the traitor, James. But you may be sure I won't be here. I'll get +through your guards!" + +The man was half crazed, Jorden thought, from infection and fever in +half treated wounds, and probably from the effects of radiation itself. +"We aren't going to set up any guards," he said. "We're going to send +you medical care. Don't try to get away down the river. I'll have some +men who'll take you where you'll be safe and have care." + +Jorden left, on the hope that James would not attempt further flight +until he was assured of Boggs' defeat. But the colony could not quickly +administer the kind of defeat James wanted. They had to be orderly, even +if it was a frontier community. There had to be a trial. There had to be +evidence, and James had to be called to give it. + +He returned to the village and made arrangements with Adamson to get +medical care for James. Dr. Babbit, one of the four physicians with the +colony, was sufficiently out of sympathy with Boggs to be trusted. + +Then, with his family, he accompanied Tibbets to Maintown. On the +bulletin board outside the Council Hall he hung an announcement of his +candidacy for the governorship, which Tibbets had prepared for him. +Tibbets made a little speech to the handful of people who gathered to +read what was on the bulletin, but Jorden declined to make any personal +statement just now. He had enough to say when it came time to accuse +Boggs of the crimes involved in destruction of the power plant. + +But among those who squinted closely at Tibbets' fine, black printing +there came a look of mild awe. It had been generally assumed that Boggs +would go unopposed for re-election. + +On the way back Tibbets' car passed the length of Maintown and took them +by the deserted house which Jorden had built in their first year on +Serrengia. Bonnie gave it a covetous look, contrasting its spaciousness +with the primitive cabin in which she now lived. + +Tibbets caught her glance. "If it were not for Boggs you would still be +living there," he said. + +Bonnie made no answer. Both she and Roddy stared ahead, as if unable to +bring their attention to bear upon the present, because of the fear +incited by everything about them. Jorden was also silent, but his eyes +wandered incessantly over the surrounding hills and distant farmlands. +He hadn't bargained for anything like this. He had expected to find +himself in a society of cooperative and uniformly energetic human +beings. He knew now, without any further persuasion, that this had been +a vision strictly from an ivory tower. + +He should have anticipated that in a group like this there would be a +sprinkling of small time thugs and dictators and generally shiftless +individuals who could not make a go of it in the society they had left. +At home you could live and work with such without ever being more than +vaguely aware of their eccentricities. Here, their deviation from +required cooperation was enough to disrupt the whole community. + +He could understand the terror in Bonnie and Roddy. They had come only +because of him, with no understanding of the colony's purpose. The +present turmoil underlined their conviction that it had been pure folly +to come. Somehow he'd have to show them. He'd have to make them +understand there was a reason for being on Serrengia. But at the moment +he did not know how to do it. + + * * * * * + +The program called for a continuation well into the night with a long +scene at the cabin, but Ashby interrupted it as soon as they returned +from Maintown. He ordered a twenty four hour rest, because of Bonnie. +The extended period of sleep wouldn't harm Jorden. + +Bonnie, however, was furious at the interruption as she came out of the +test pit. + +"If you're going to let it go to the end, why don't you get on with it?" +she demanded. "The whole thing is so far off the track that you might as +well find out as soon as possible that you're not getting anywhere." + +"I think we're beginning to find out a great deal. But I want you to +have a rest. The hours of this shift are much too long for you." + +"You think you know what's going on inside Mark Jorden by watching the +dials and meters, but you don't, because it's not himself he's concerned +about. It's a goal outside and bigger than himself. The colony _means_ +something to him. It never meant anything at all to any of the others." + +"Then this is the kind of situation we've been looking for." + +"But we haven't the techniques or insight to understand it. We can +analyze a man who's running away--but we're not prepared for one who's +running _toward_." + + * * * * * + +The night after they returned from Maintown a terrific storm broke over +the plateau. It began at supper time and for an hour poured torrents of +water on the land. Jorden wanted to go down to the river to see if their +diversion dams were holding. If they went out it meant long days of hard +hand labor restoring them. + +He gave in, however, to Bonnie's plea to stay in the house with them. +Roddy was frightened of the storm and looked physically ill when thunder +made the walls of the cabin shake. It wouldn't change the actual facts +of the damage to the dams whether Jorden examined them now or in the +morning. He tried to think up stories to tell the children, but it was +hard to make up some dealing only with Serrengia and ignoring Earth, as +he had to do for Roddy's sake. + +After the rain finally stopped and Bonnie had put the children to bed +there came a knock at the door. Bonnie opened it. Governor Boggs and two +Council members moved into the room. Little pools of water drained to +the floor about their feet. + +The Governor turned slowly and grinned at Bonnie and Mark Jorden as the +light from the lamp and the fireplace fell upon him. "Nasty night out," +he said. "For a time I was afraid we weren't going to make it." + +Boggs was a short, stout man and carried himself very erect. He seemed +to exaggerate his normal posture as he moved toward the chairs Bonnie +offered the men. + +Jorden remained seated in his big wooden chair by the fireplace glancing +up with cold challenge in his face as his visitors settled on the +opposite side of the fire. + +"I'm sorry we missed you when you were in town today," said Boggs. "It +was not until late this afternoon that I became aware of your visit." + +He reached to an inner coat pocket and drew forth a paper which he +unfolded carefully. Jorden recognized it as the announcement he had +tacked on the bulletin board. Boggs passed it over. + +"I felt sure you would wish to withdraw this, Jorden, after you had +given it a little fuller consideration. I'm sure that by now you have +had time to think over the matter a little more calmly and find a good +many reasons why you should withdraw your announcement." + +"I haven't thought much about it," said Jorden, "but now that you call +it to my attention I am becoming aware of an increasing number of +reasons why I should not withdraw. I assure you I have no intention of +doing so." + +Boggs smiled and folded up the paper and slipped it into the fire. "I +have not been such a bad administrator during my first term of office, +have I Jorden?" + +"That is for the people to decide--on election day." + +"But why should they want to change a perfectly capable administrator," +said Boggs in an injured tone, "and put in a very capable engineer and +farm manager--who has no qualifications in administrative matters?" + +"That too is a question to be answered on election day." + +Boggs shifted in his chair, dropping the deliberately maintained smile +from his face. "There have been some stories circulating about the +colony recently," he said. "It is possible that you have heard them and +believe them." + +"Possibly," said Jorden. + +"I wouldn't. I wouldn't believe them if I were you. I wouldn't even +listen to them because it might lead to dangerous and erroneous +conclusions, which would cause you to convict in your mind an honest +man." + +"That would be my error then, wouldn't it?" said Jorden. + +The Governor nodded. "A grave one as far as it concerns the welfare of +yourself and your family, Jorden." + +Jorden's face hardened. "Threats of that kind aren't appropriate to your +position, Governor." + +"Perhaps you are not aware of my exact position." + +"I think I am! And I intend to do everything in my power to change it. +You are a small time chiseler who saw a good chance to set yourself up +for life in a cushy situation where five hundred other people would obey +your slightest whim. That's an old fashioned situation, Boggs, and you +can't set it up here even if you are willing to resort to sabotage and +murder." + +Boggs eyes narrowed and he looked at Jorden for a long time. "I am +afraid, then," he said, "that there is nothing I can do except put a +stop to your repeating these lying stories about me." + +The Governor's eyes never moved, but Jorden shifted in sudden, wild +indecision. Almost simultaneously there were two shots exploding in the +narrow cabin, and then a third. Jorden and Boggs leaped out of their +chairs. + +[Illustration] + +From the kitchen doorway came the steel-taut voice of Bonnie. "Don't +move any further, Mr. Boggs. Put your hands in the air. Get his gun, +Mark--in the pocket on this side." + +For a moment Jorden hesitated, his eyes held by the sight of Boggs' two +gunmen on the floor, blood spreading in tiny rivulets. He took the +pistol from the Governor's pocket and held it in readiness. + +"I ought to kill you now, Boggs," he said. "Fortunately, or +unfortunately, we have to set a precedent in such matters if the colony +is to survive. We have to go through the formality of a trial for +sabotaging the power plant and murdering those killed there. Actually, +it would be a good idea if you just took off over the hills and went as +far as you could before the jungle got you. It would save us all a great +deal of trouble." + +Hope surged in Boggs' eyes as he recognized that Jorden was incapable of +shooting him down. Then bitterness mingled with that hope. "You won't +get away with this, Jorden. We'll see what the people have to say about +your wife shooting my men down while my back is turned." + +"_Their_ backs weren't turned," said Jorden. "Get them out of here now. +If you want to save explanations as to why you came here tonight you +might find a convenient spot and bury them--before you take out over the +hills yourself." + +Watching until they could no longer see the lights of Boggs' car, they +closed the door. Bonnie collapsed with a moan, cringing in Jorden's +arms. + +"Now they'll kill us all," she said in a lifeless voice. "We haven't got +a chance. For this we followed your great dream of colonizing an outpost +of the Universe!" + + * * * * * + +That night Roddy was sick. Six days later he was dead. Before they +decided to go through with this section of the program there were long +and heated conferences between Bonnie and Ashby and the staff working at +the test pit. Bonnie insisted the program should be dropped here. They +already knew that Jorden was what they were searching for. They had only +to analyze the factors that had brought him to the test and they would +have what they needed to identify as many colonists as the project +required. He didn't need to be broken down any further. + +Ashby knew this was not true. Jorden's basic purpose as a colonist had +not yet been brought into sight. Ashby recognized that his goal was +almost certainly the perpetuation of the colony--and he was the first +one who had maintained such a goal this far--but they had to know the +drive that existed behind the goal. If it should develop a basis wholly +in flight it would still crack before completion of the program. + +But Ashby continued to be hesitant on Bonnie's account. Roddy's illness +and death meant a continuous tour in the test pit for the full six days. +And this was cut from the scheduled eight it normally occupied. Why it +was impossible for Bonnie to reduce her own personal tension on the +project, Ashby didn't know, but she had become increasingly susceptible +as time went on. + +Word of Jorden's persistence was spreading among the staff personnel of +other sections of the lab. A subdued excitement was stirring among them. +In most cases so far examined, the colonist had by now either knuckled +under to Boggs or engaged in a futile personal duel with him. If they +went further, they almost invariably collapsed under the pressure of +Bonnie's blame and began cursing Serrengia as well as the Earth from +which they fled. + +Ashby ordered resumption of the program. It was an agony for him, too, +watching Bonnie during the long hours of Roddy's illness. It seemed +every bit as much a test of her strength and endurance as it was of Mark +Jorden's. With the televiewer Ashby brought an image of her face up +close, studying her from every angle during the long nights when she and +Mark Jorden exchanged vigil over Roddy. He scanned her face by the +firelight of the rough cabin. + +After three days, Jorden was running close to exhaustion, but in spite +of the strain Bonnie seemed capable of remaining there forever. Her eyes +watched Jorden's face, taking in his every movement and expression. + +And after three days of watching Bonnie's face in close-up, Ashby +suddenly murmured aloud to himself in disbelief and astonishment. + +Dr. Miller, who was Tibbets in the program, came up to his side. "What +is it, Ashby? Has something gone wrong?" + +Ashby shook his head slowly in wonder and pointed to the image in the +viewer. "Look at her," he said. "Can't you see what has happened to +Bonnie? We should have caught it long ago. No wonder this job is tearing +her apart--no wonder she doesn't want it to end the way it must--or end +at all, for that matter!" + +"I still don't see what you are talking about," said Miller in +exasperation. "I don't see that anything has happened to her. She looks +like the same old Bonnie to me." + +"Does she?" said Ashby. "Watch her when she looks at Jorden. Can't you +see she has fallen in love with him?" + + * * * * * + +There was probably a whole class of people like Roddy, Jorden thought. +People incapable of surviving beyond the world on which they were born. +Since the day of his coming Roddy had fought an unceasing battle with +this hated, alien world of Serrengia. He awoke each morning to renew the +unequal contest before he was even out of bed--and knowing fully that he +was beaten before he started. + +Jorden had tried every way he knew to instill into his son some of his +own love for this new world. It was a good world and the men who grew up +on it in the years to come would love it with all their hearts. But +Roddy could not give up his reaching back, his longing for Earth. He +shrank before the problem of their doubtful food supply. He caught +snatches of adult worries and nourished them with a dark agony that made +it appear to Jorden sometimes as if the boy were walking in a nightmare. + +It had been cruel and brutal to bring him. But there was no use blaming +himself for that. If only Bonnie would stop blaming him! He couldn't +have known ahead of time that Roddy was one of those who could not +be--transplanted. Fervently, he prayed for the boy's life now and vowed +that when the ships came again he would be free to go home. + +And always Bonnie's eyes were upon him. Sitting in the firelight of the +cabin, he could feel her staring at him, accusing him, hating him for +bringing them to Serrengia. + +Once he looked up and caught her glance. "Don't hate me so much, +Bonnie!" he said. "You're driving Roddy down. I can feel it. Reach out +to him with your love and don't let him go." + +But Roddy said later that same evening, "Maybe I'll go back to Earth +now, Daddy. Do you think that's where little boys go when they die?" + +He wanted to return so badly that he was willing to die to achieve it, +Jorden thought. That's what Dr. Babbit said: "Roddy doesn't even want to +live, Jorden. As incredible as it seems, he's literally dying of +homesickness. I'm afraid there's not a thing I can do for him. I'm +sorry, but it's up to you. You and Bonnie are the only ones who can give +him a desire to remain, if anyone can." + +Roddy's hate for Serrengia was greater than any desire they could induce +in him to live. With ease, he conquered all the miracle drugs Dr. Babbit +lavished from the colony's restricted store. He died on the sixth night +after Boggs' visit. + + * * * * * + +The funeral was held in the little community church built when the +colonists first laid out Maintown. Mark and Bonnie Jorden were almost +oblivious to the words spoken over the body of Roddy by the Reverend +Wagner, who had come as the colonists' spiritual adviser. + +Bonnie's hands were folded on her lap, and she kept her eyes down +throughout the service. She was aware of the agony within Mark Jorden. +It was a real agony, and its strength almost frightened her, for she had +never before seen such a response in any man who had gone through the +test this far. They were men concerned only with themselves, incapable +of the love that Jorden could feel for a son. + +He reached out and took one of her hands in his own. She could feel the +emotion within him, the tightening and trembling of his big, +hard-muscled arm. + +Ashby was watching. Over the private communication system that linked +them he murmured, "Cry, Bonnie! Make it real. Make him hate himself and +everything he's done since he decided to become a colonist--if you can! +This is where we've got to find out whether he can crack or not--and +why." + +"You can't break him," said Bonnie. "He's the strongest man I've ever +known. If you find his breaking point it will be when you destroy him +utterly. You've got to quit before you reach that point!" + +"All that we've done will be useless if we quit now, Bonnie. Just a few +more hours and then it will all be over--" + +As if his words had touched a hidden trigger, she did begin to cry with +a deep but almost inaudible sound and a heavy movement of her shoulders. +Mark Jorden put his arm about her as if to force away her grief. + +"I _know_, Bonnie," said Ashby softly. "I can see in your face what's +happened to you. It's going to be all right. Everything doesn't end for +you when the test is over." + +"Oh, shut up!" said Bonnie in a sudden rage that made her tears come +faster. "If I ever work on another of your damned experiments it will be +when I've lost my senses entirely! You don't know what this does to +people. I didn't know either--because I didn't care. But now I know--" + +"You know that no harm results after we've erased and corrected all +inadequate reactions at the end of the test. You're letting your +feelings cover up your full awareness of what we're doing." + +"Yes, and I suppose that when it's over I had better submit to a little +erasing myself. Then Bonnie can go back to work as a little iced steel +probe for some more of your guinea pigs!" + +"Bonnie--!" + +She made no answer to Ashby, but lay her head on Jorden's shoulder while +her sobbing subsided. How did it happen? she asked herself. It wasn't +anything she had wanted. It had just happened. It had happened that +first day when he came in from the field at the beginning of the +experiment with all of the planted background that made him think he was +meeting Bonnie for the thousandth time instead of the first. + +She was supposed to be an actress and receive his husbandly kiss with +all the skilled mimicry that made her so valuable to the lab. But it +hadn't been like that. She had played sister, mother, daughter, wife--a +hundred roles to as many other tested applicants. For the first time she +saw one as a human being instead of a sociological specimen. That's the +way it was when she met Mark Jorden. + +There was no answer to it, she thought bitterly as she rested her face +against his shoulder. Ashby was right--just a few more hours and it +would all be over. All Jorden's feeling for her as his wife was induced +by the postulates of the test, just as were his feelings for Roddy. His +subjective reactions were real enough, but they would vanish when their +stimulus was removed with the test postulates. He would look upon the +restored Roddy as just another little boy--and upon Bonnie, the Doctor +in Sociology, as just another misemployed female. + +She raised her head and dried her eyes as she sensed that the service +was ending. Actually, Ashby was right, of course. They had to go on, and +the sooner it came to an end the better it would be for her. She _would_ +submit to alteration of her own personal data after the test, she +thought. She would let them erase all feelings and sentiments she held +for Mark Jorden, and then she would be as good as new. After all, if a +sociologist couldn't handle his own reactions in a situation of this +kind he wasn't of much value in his profession! + + * * * * * + +The sun was hot as they returned from the little burial ground near the +church. There were quite a number of other graves besides Roddy's, but +his was the loneliest, Jorden thought. He had never forgiven them for +robbing him of his home and the only world in which he could live. + +[Illustration] + +He felt the growing coldness of Bonnie as they came up to their shabby +cabin that had once looked so brave to him. Serrengia had cost him +Bonnie, too. Even before Roddy. She had remained only because it was her +duty. + +He took her hand as she put a foot on the doorstep. "Bonnie--" + +She looked at him bitterly, her eyes searching his face as if to find +something of the quality that once drew her to him. "Don't try to say +it, Mark--there's nothing left to say." + +He let her go, and the two children followed past him into the house. He +sat down on the step and looked out over the fields that edged the river +bank. His mind felt numbed by Roddy's passing. Bonnie's insistent blame +made him live it over and over again. + +The light from the green of the fields was like a caress to his eyes. I +should hate it, he thought. I should hate the whole damned planet for +what it's taken from me. But that's not right--Serrengia hasn't taken +anything. It's only that Bonnie and I can't live in the same world, or +live the same kind of lives. Roddy was like her. But I didn't know then. +I didn't know how either of them were. + +We have to go on. There's no going back. Maybe if I'd known, I would +have made it different for all of us. I can't now, and it would be crazy +to start hating Serrengia for the faults that are in us. Who could do +anything but love this fresh, wild planet of ours--? + +He ought to go down and take a look at the field, he thought. He rose to +go in and tell Bonnie. The crops hadn't had water since Roddy took sick. + +He found Bonnie in the bedroom with the drawers of their cabinets open +and their trunk in the middle of the floor, its lid thrown back. Clothes +lay strewn on the bed. + +He felt a slow tightening of his scalp and of the skin along the back of +his neck. "Bonnie--" + +She straightened and looked into his face with cold, distant eyes. "I'm +packing, Mark," she said. "I'm leaving. I'm going home. The girls are +going with me. You can stay until they dig your grave beside Roddy's, +but I'm going home." + +Jorden's face went white. He strode forward and caught her by the arms. +"Bonnie--you know there's no way to go home. There won't be a ship for +six years. This is home, Bonnie. There's no other place to go." + +For a moment the set expression of her face seemed to melt. She frowned +as if he had told her some mystery she could not fathom. Then her +countenance cleared and its blank determination returned. "I'm going +home," she repeated. "You can't stop me. I've done all a wife can be +expected to do. I've given my son as the price of your foolishness. You +can't ask for more." + +He had to get out. He felt that if he remained another instant just then +something inside him would explode under the pressure of his grief. He +went to the front door and stood leaning against it while he looked over +the landscape that almost seemed to reach out for him in hate as it had +for Roddy. So you want her, too! he cried inside himself. + +Alice came up and tugged at his hand as he stood there. "What's the +matter, Daddy? What's the matter with Mama?" + +He bent down and kissed her on the forehead. "Nothing, honey. You go and +play for a moment while I help Mother." + +"I want to help, too!" + +"Please, Alice--" + +He moved back to the bedroom. Bonnie was carefully examining each item +of apparel she packed in the big trunk. She didn't look up as he came +in. + +"Bonnie," he said in a low voice, "are you going to leave me?" + +She put down the dress she was holding and looked up at him. "Yes I'm +leaving you," she said. "You've got what you wanted--all you've ever +wanted." She looked out towards the fields, shimmering in the heat of +the day. + +"That's not true, Bonnie. You know it isn't. I've always loved you and +needed you, and it's grown greater every hour we've been together." + +"Then you'll have to prove it! Give up this hell-world you want us to +call home, and give us back our Earth. If you love me, you can prove +it." + +"It's no test of love to make a man give up the goal that means his life +to him. You'd despise me forever if I let you do that to me. I'd rather +you went away from me now with the feeling you have at this time, +because I'd know I had your love--" + +Bonnie remained still and unmoving in his arms, her face averted from +his. He put his hand to her chin and turned her face to him. "You do +love me, Bonnie? That hasn't changed, has it?" + +She put her head against his chest and rocked from side to side as if in +some agony. "Oh, no--Mark! That will never change. Damn you, Ashby, damn +you--" + + * * * * * + +In the control room Ashby and Miller groaned aloud to each other, and a +technician looked at them questioningly, his hand on a switch. Ashby +shook his head and stared at the scene before him. + +Jorden shook Bonnie gently in his arms. "Ashby?" he said. "Who's Ashby?" + +Bonnie looked up, the blank despair on her face again. "I don't +remember--" she said haltingly. "Someone I used to--know--" + +"It makes no difference," Jorden said. "What matters is that you love me +and you're going to stay with me. Let's put these things away now, +darling. I know how you've felt the past week, but we've got to put it +behind us and look forward to the future. Roddy would want it that way." + +"There's no future to look forward to," said Bonnie dully. "Nothing here +on Serrengia. There's no meaning to any of us being here. I'm going back +to Earth." + +"It does have a meaning! If I could only make you see it. If you could +only understand why I had to come--" + +"Then tell me if you know! You've never tried to tell me. You live as if +you know something so deep and secret you can live by it every hour of +your life and find meaning in it. But I can only guess at what it is +you've chosen for your god. If it's anything but some illusion, put it +into words and make me know it, too!" + +"I've never tried," said Jorden hesitantly. "I've never tried to put it +into words. It's something I didn't know was in me until I heard of the +chance to colonize Serrengia. And then I knew I had to come. + +"It's like a growing that you feel in every cell. It's a growing out and +away, and it's what you have to do. You're a sperm--an ovum--and if you +don't leave the parent body you die. You don't have to hate what you +leave behind as James and Boggs and so many of the others do. It gave +you life, and for that you're grateful. But you've got to have a life of +your own. + +"It's what I was born to do, Bonnie. I didn't know it was there, but now +I've found it I can't kill it." + +"You have to kill it--or me." + +"You don't mean that. You're part of me. You've been a part of me so +long you feel what I feel. You're lying, Bonnie, when you say you're +going away. You don't want to go. You want to go on with me, but +something's holding you back. What is it, Bonnie? Tell me what it is +that holds you back!" + +Her eyes went wide. For a moment she thought he was talking out of the +real situation, not the make-believe of the test. Then she recognized +the impossibility of this. Her eyes cast a pleading glance in the +direction of the observation tubes. + +Ashby spoke fiercely: "Go on, Bonnie! Don't lose the tension. Push him. +We've got to know. He's almost there!" + +She moved slowly to the dresser where she had laid Jorden's hunting +knife previously, as if with no particular intent. Now, out of sight of +Jorden, her hand touched it. She picked it up. + +Ashby's voice came again. "Bonnie--move!" + +She murmured, "Lost--" + +And then she whirled about, knife in hand. She cried aloud. "I can't go +on any further! Can't you see this is enough? Stop it! Stop it--" + +Jorden leaped for the knife. + +In the observation room a technician touched a switch. + + * * * * * + +Ashby felt the subdued elation of success reached after a long and +strenuous effort. Bonnie was seated across the desk from him, but he sat +at an angle so that he could see the four hulls out of the corner of his +eye. One and Two had made their test flights and the others would not be +far behind. The expedition would be a success, too. There was no longer +any doubt of that, because he knew now where to look for adequate +personnel. + +"I'm glad I didn't foul up your test completely, anyway," said Bonnie +slowly. "Even if what you say about Mark shouldn't turn out to be true." + +Ashby moved his chair around to face her directly. She was rested, and +had gone through a mental re-orientation which had removed some of the +tension from her face. + +"You didn't foul it up at all," he said. "We went far enough to learn +that he would have survived even your suicide, and would have continued +in his determination to carry the colony forward. Nothing but his own +death will stand in his way if he actually sets out on such a project. +Are you completely sure you want to be tied to such a single purposed +man as Mark Jorden is?" + +"There's no doubt of that! But I just don't feel as if I can face him +now--with his knowing.... How can I ever be sure his feeling for me was +not merely induced by the test experience, and might change as time goes +on? You should have wiped it all out, and let us start over from +scratch. It would have been easier that way." + +"There isn't time enough before the ships leave. But why should we have +erased it all? We took away the postulates of the test and left Bonnie +in his memory. His love for you didn't vanish when the test postulates +went. As long as he has a memory of you he will love you. So why make +him fall in love with you twice? No use wasting so much important time +at your age. Here he comes--" + +Bonnie felt she couldn't possibly turn around as the door opened behind +her. She heard Mark's moment of hesitation, his slow steps on the +carpet. Ashby was smiling a little and nodding. Then she felt the hard +grip of Mark's hands on her shoulders. He drew her up and turned her to +face him. Her eyes were wet. + +"Bonnie--" he said softly. + + * * * * * + +Ashby turned to the window again. The gantry cranes were hoisting +machinery in Hull Three. Maybe he had been wrong about there not being +enough time between now and takeoff for Mark and Bonnie to discover each +other all over again. They worked pretty fast. But then, as he had +mentioned, why waste time at their age? + +They were smiling, holding tight to each other as Ashby turned back from +the window. + +"They tell me I passed," said Jorden. "I'm sorry about taking your best +Social Examiner away from you--but as you told me in the beginning this +colonization business is a family affair." + +"Yes--that happens to be one of the few things I was right about." Ashby +motioned them to the chairs. "Through you we located our major error. It +was our identifying rebellion with colonization ability. Colonization is +not a matter of rebellion at all. The two factors merely happen to +accompany each other at times. But the essence of colonization is a +growth factor--of the kind you so very accurately described when Bonnie +pushed you into digging up some insight on the matter. It is so often +associated with rebellion because rebellion is or has been, +historically, necessary to the exercise of this growth factor. + +"The American Colonists, for example, were rebels only incidentally. As +a group, they possessed a growth factor forcing them beyond the confines +of the culture in which they lived. It gave them the strength for +rebellion and successful colonization. And it is so easy to confuse +colonists of that type with mere cutthroats, thugs, and misfits. The +latter may or may not have a sufficiently high growth factor. In any +case, their primary drive is hate and fear, which are wholly inadequate +motives for successful colonization. + +"The ideal colonist does not break with the parent body, nor does he +merely extend it. He creates a new nucleus capable of interchange with +the parent body, but not controlled by it. He wants to build beyond the +current society, and the latter is not strong enough to pull him back +into it. Colonization may take everything else of value in life and give +nothing but itself in return, but the colonists' desire for new life and +growth is great enough to make this sufficient. It is not a mere +transplant of an old life. It is conception and gestation and birth. + +"Our present society allows almost unlimited exercise of the growth +factor in individuals, regardless of how powerful it may be. That is why +we have failed to colonize the planets. They offer no motive or +satisfaction sufficient to outweigh the satisfactions already available. +As a result we've had virtually no applicants coming to us because of +hampered growth. You are one of the very few who might come under our +present approach. And even a very slight change of occupational +conditions would have kept you from coming. You didn't want the +department leadership offered you, because it would limit the personally +creative functions you enjoyed. That one slim, hairbreadth factor +brought you in." + +"But how do you expect now to get any substantial number of colonists?" +exclaimed Jorden. + +"We'll put on a recruiting campaign. We'll go to the creative +groups--the engineers, the planners, the artists--we'll show that +opportunity for creative functioning and growth will be far greater in +the work of building colonial outposts than in any activity they now +enjoy. And we won't have to exaggerate, either. It's true. + +"We'll be able to send out a colony of whom we can be certain. In the +past, colonies have invariably failed when they consisted only of +members fleeing from something, without possessing an adequate growth +factor. + +"When this becomes thoroughly understood in my field, I shall probably +never live down my initial error of assuming that a colonist had to hate +or fear what he left behind in order to leave it forever. The exact +opposite is true. Successful colonization of the Universe by Earthmen +will occur only when there is a love and respect for the Homeland--and a +capacity for complete independence from it." + +Ashby pressed his fingers together and looked at his visitors soberly. +"There is only one thing further," he said. "We've found out also that +Bonnie is not essentially a colonist--" + +Bonnie's face went white. She pushed Jorden's arm away and leaned across +the desk. "You knew--! Then we can't--Why didn't you tell me this in the +beginning?" + +"Please don't be hasty, Bonnie," said Ashby. "As I was about to say, we +have found, however, that another condition exists in which you can +become eligible and stable through a genuine love for a qualified +colonist, to the extent you are willing to follow him completely in his +ambitions and desires. This is strictly a feminine possibility--a woman +can become a sort of second order colonist, you might say. + +"Of course, Jorden, you still have to make the basic decision as to +whether you want to go to Serrengia or not. We have found out merely +that you _can_." + +"I think there's no doubt about my wanting to," said Jorden. + +He turned Bonnie around in his arms again, and Ashby chuckled mildly. "I +have always said there is no piece of data you cannot find, provided you +can devise the proper experimental procedure for turning it up," he +said. + + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of The Colonists, by Raymond F. 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