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+The Project Gutenberg eBook, Augusta Triumphans, by Daniel Defoe
+
+
+This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with
+almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or
+re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included
+with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org
+
+
+
+
+
+Title: Augusta Triumphans
+ Or, the Way to Make London the Most Flourishing City in the Universe
+
+
+Author: Daniel Defoe
+
+
+
+Release Date: May 17, 2010 [eBook #32405]
+
+Language: English
+
+Character set encoding: ISO-646-US (US-ASCII)
+
+
+***START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK AUGUSTA TRIUMPHANS***
+
+
+E-text prepared by Steven Gibbs, Richard J. Shiffer, and the Project
+Gutenberg Online Distributed Proofreading Team (http://www.pgdp.net)
+
+
+
+Transcriber's note:
+
+ Every effort has been made to replicate this text as
+ faithfully as possible, including obsolete and variant
+ spellings and other inconsistencies. Text that has been
+ changed to correct an obvious error is noted at the end
+ of this e-book.
+
+ The British Library shows second edition published 1729
+ and reprinted by D. A. Talboys, Oxford, 1841.
+
+
+
+
+
+AUGUSTA TRIUMPHANS:
+
+OR, THE
+
+WAY
+
+TO MAKE
+
+LONDON
+
+THE MOST FLOURISHING
+
+CITY IN THE UNIVERSE.
+
+
+FIRST,
+
+By establishing an University where Gentlemen may have Academical
+Education under the Eye of their Friends.
+
+II. By an Hospital for Foundlings.
+
+III. By forming an Academy of Sciences at Christ's Hospital.
+
+IV. By suppressing pretended Madhouses, where many of the Fair Sex are
+unjustly confined, while their Husbands keep Mistresses, &c., and many
+Widows are locked up for the sake of their Jointure.
+
+V. To save our Youth from Destruction, by clearing the Streets of
+impudent Strumpets, suppressing Gaming Tables, and Sunday Debauches.
+
+VI. To save our lower Class of People from utter Ruin, and render them
+useful, by preventing the immoderate use of Geneva: with a frank
+Explosion of many other common Abuses, and incontestible Rules for
+Amendment.
+
+CONCLUDING WITH
+
+An effectual Method to prevent _Street Robberies_.
+
+AND
+
+A Letter to Coll. Robinson, on account of the Orphans' Tax.
+
+
+
+By ANDREW MORETON, Esq.
+
+
+
+THE SECOND EDITION.
+
+
+_LONDON_:
+
+Printed for J. ROBERTS, in _Warwick Lane_, and sold by E. NUTT, at the
+_Royal Exchange_; A. DODD, without _Temple Bar_; N. BLANDFORD, at
+_Charing Cross_; and J. STAGG, in _Westminster-Hall_.
+
+ [_Price One Shilling._]
+
+
+
+
+AUGUSTA TRIUMPHANS:
+
+OR, THE
+
+WAY
+
+TO MAKE
+
+LONDON
+
+THE MOST FLOURISHING
+
+CITY IN THE UNIVERSE.
+
+
+
+
+A man who has the public good in view, ought not in the least to be
+alarmed at the tribute of ridicule which scoffers constantly pay to
+projecting heads. It is the business of a writer, who means well, to go
+directly forward, without regard to criticism, but to offer his thoughts
+as they occur; and if in twenty schemes he hits but on one to the
+purpose, he ought to be excused failing in the nineteen for the
+twentieth sake. It is a kind of good action to mean well, and the
+intention ought to palliate the failure; but the English, of all people
+in the world, show least mercy to schemists, for they treat them in the
+vilest manner; whereas other nations give them fair play for their
+lives, which is the reason why we are esteemed so bad at invention.
+
+I have but a short time to live, nor would I waste my remaining thread
+of life in vain, but having often lamented sundry public abuses, and
+many schemes having occurred to my fancy, which to me carried an air of
+benefit, I was resolved to commit them to paper before my departure, and
+leave, at least, a testimony of my good will to my fellow-creatures.
+
+But of all my reflections, none was more constantly my companion than a
+deep sorrow for the present decay of learning among us, and the manifest
+corruption of education; we have been a brave and learned people, and
+are insensibly dwindling into an effeminate, superficial race. Our young
+gentlemen are sent to the universities, it is true, but not under
+restraint or correction as formerly; not to study, but to drink; not for
+furniture for the head, but a feather for the cap, merely to say they
+have been at Oxford or Cambridge, as if the air of those places inspired
+knowledge without application. It is true we ought to have those places
+in reverence for the many learned men they have sent us; but why must we
+go so far for knowledge? Why should a young gentleman be sent raw from
+the nursery to live on his own hands, to be liable to a thousand
+temptations, and run the risk of being snapped up by sharping jilts,
+with which both universities abound, who make our youth of fortune their
+prey, and have brought misery into too many good families? Not only the
+hazard of their healths from debauches of both kinds, but the waste of
+their precious time renders the sending them so far off very hazardous.
+Why should such a metropolis as London be without an university? Would
+it not save considerably the expense we are at in sending our young
+gentlemen so far from London? Would it not add to the lustre of our
+state, and cultivate politeness among us? What benefits may we not in
+time expect from so glorious a design? Will not London become the scene
+of science? And what reason have we but to hope we may vie with any
+neighbouring nations? Not that I would have Oxford or Cambridge
+neglected, for the good they have done. Besides, there are too many fine
+endowments to be sunk; we may have universities at those places and at
+London too, without prejudice. Knowledge will never hurt us, and whoever
+lives to see an university here, will find it give quite another turn to
+the genius and spirit of our youth in general.
+
+How many gentlemen pass their lives in a shameful indolence, who might
+employ themselves to the purpose, were such a design set on foot?
+Learning would flourish, art revive, and not only those who studied
+would benefit by it, but the blessing would be conveyed to others by
+conversation.
+
+And in order to this so laudable design, small expense is required; the
+sole charge being the hire of a convenient hall or house, which, if they
+please, they may call a college. But I see no necessity the pupils have
+to lie or diet there; that may be done more reasonably and conveniently
+at home, under the eye of their friends; their only necessary business
+at college being to attend their tutors at stated hours; and, bed and
+board excepted, to conform themselves to college laws, and perform the
+same exercises as if they were actually at Oxford or Cambridge.
+
+Let the best of tutors be provided, and professors in all faculties
+encouraged; this will do a double good, not only to the instructed, but
+to the instructors. What a fine provision may here be made for numbers
+of ingenious gentlemen now unpreferred? And to what a height may even a
+small beginning grow in time?
+
+As London is so extensive, so its university may be composed of many
+colleges, quartered at convenient distances: for example, one at
+Westminster, one at St. James's, one near Ormond-street, that part of
+the town abounding in gentry; one in the centre of the Inns of Court,
+another near the Royal Exchange, and more if occasion and encouragement
+permit.
+
+The same offices and regulations may be constituted, cooks, butlers,
+bed-makers, &c., excepted, as at other universities. As for endowment,
+there is no need, the whole may be done by subscription, and that an
+easy one, considering that nothing but instructions are paid for.
+
+In a word, an academical education is so much wanted in London, that
+everybody of ability and figure will readily come into it; and I dare
+engage, the place need but be chosen, and tutors approved of, to
+complete the design at once.
+
+It may be objected, that there is a kind of university at Gresham
+college, where professors in all sciences are maintained, and obliged to
+read lectures every day, or at least as often as demanded. The design is
+most laudable, but it smells too much of the _sine cure_; they only read
+in term time, and then their lectures are so hurried over, the audience
+is little the better. They cannot be turned out, it is a good settlement
+for life, and they are very easy in their studies when once fixed.
+Whereas were the professorship during good behaviour, there would be a
+study to maintain their posts, and their pupils would reap the benefit.
+
+Upon second thought, I think colleges for university education might be
+formed at Westminster, Eton, the Charter-house, St. Paul's, Merchant
+Tailors, and other public schools, where youth might begin and end their
+studies; but this may be further considered of.
+
+I had almost forgot the most material point, which is, that his
+majesty's sanction must first be obtained, and the university proposed
+have power to confer degrees, &c., and other academical privileges.
+
+As I am quick to conceive, I am eager to have done, unwilling to
+overwork a subject; I had rather leave part to the conception of the
+readers, than to tire them or myself with protracting a theme, as if,
+like a chancery man or a hackney author, I wrote by the sheet for hire.
+So let us have done with this topic, and proceed to another, which is:--
+
+
+_A proposal to prevent murder, dishonour, and other abuses, by erecting
+an hospital for foundlings._
+
+It is needless to run into a declamation on this head, since not a
+sessions passes but we see one or more merciless mothers tried for the
+murder of their bastard children; and, to the shame of good government,
+generally escape the vengeance due to shedders of innocent blood. For it
+is a common practice now among them to hire a set of old beldams, or
+pretended midwives, who make it their trade to bring them off for three
+or four guineas, having got the ready rote of swearing the child was not
+at its full growth, for which they have a hidden reserve; that is to
+say, the child was not at man's or woman's growth. Thus do these impious
+wretches cheat the world, and damn their own souls by a double meaning,
+which too often imposes on a cautious, merciful, and credulous jury, and
+gives wicked murderers means to escape and commit fresh sins, to which
+their acquitters, no doubt, are accessory.
+
+I wonder so many men of sense as have been on the jury have been so
+often imposed upon by the stale pretence of a scrap or two of child-bed
+linen being found in the murderer's box, &c.; when, alas! perhaps, it
+was never put there till after the murder was committed; or if it was,
+but with a view of saving themselves by that devilish precaution; for so
+many have been acquitted on that pretence, that it is but too common a
+thing to provide child-bed linen beforehand for a poor innocent babe
+they are determined to murder.
+
+But, alas! what are the exploded murders to those which escape the eye
+of the magistrate, and die in silence? Add to this, procured abortions
+and other indirect means which wicked wretches make use of to screen
+themselves from the censure of the world, which they dread more than the
+displeasure of their Maker.
+
+Those who cannot be so hardhearted to murder their own offspring
+themselves, take a slower, though as sure, a way, and get it done by
+others, by dropping their children, and leaving them to be starved by
+parish nurses.
+
+Thus is God robbed of a creature, in whom he had breathed the breath of
+life, and on whom he had stamped his image; the world of an inhabitant,
+who might have been of use; the king of a subject; and future
+generations of an issue not to be accounted for, had this infant lived
+to have been a parent.
+
+It is therefore the height of charity and humanity to provide against
+this barbarity, to prevent this crying sin, and extract good, even out
+of evil, by saving these innocent babes from slaughter, and bringing
+them up in the nurture and fear of the Lord; to be of benefit to
+themselves and mankind in general.
+
+And what nearer, what better way can we have, than to erect and to endow
+a proper hospital or house to receive them, where we may see them
+tenderly brought up, as so many living monuments of our charity; every
+one of them being a convincing proof of a Christian saved, and a murder
+prevented?
+
+Nor will this be attended with so much charge as is imagined, for we
+find in many parishes, that parents have redemanded their children, on
+increase of circumstances, and paid all costs, with a handsome present
+in the bargain; and many times when a clandestine marriage is cleared up
+and openly avowed, they would purchase the first-fruits of their loves
+at any rate. Oftentimes a couple may have no more children, and an
+infant thus saved may arrive to inherit a good estate, and become a
+benefactor where it was once an object of charity.
+
+But let us suppose the worst, and imagine the infant begot in sin and
+without the sanction of wedlock; is it therefore to be murdered,
+starved, or neglected, because its parents were wicked? Hard fate of
+innocent children to suffer for their parents' faults! Where God has
+thought fit to give his image and life, there is nourishment demanded;
+that calls aloud for our Christian and human assistance, and best shows
+our nobleness of soul, when we generously assist those who cannot help
+themselves.
+
+If the fault devolved on the children, our church would deny them
+baptism, burial, and other Christian rites; but our religion carries
+more charity with it, they are not denied even to partake of our blessed
+sacraments, and are excluded no one branch or benefit accruing from
+Christianity; if so, how unjust are those who arraign them for their
+parents' faults, and how barbarous are those parents, who, though able,
+make no provision for them, because they are not legitimate. My child,
+is my child, let it be begot in sin or wedlock, and all the duties of a
+parent are incumbent on me so long as it lives; if it survives me, I
+ought to make a provision for it, according to my ability; and though I
+do not set it on a footing with my legitimate children, I ought in
+conscience to provide against want and shame, or I am answerable for
+every sin or extravagance my child is forced or led into, for want of my
+giving an allowance to prevent it.
+
+We have an instance very fresh in every one's memory, of an ingenious,
+nay a sober young nobleman, for such I must call him, whose either
+father was a peer, and his mother a peeress. This unhappy gentleman,
+tossed from father to father, at last found none, and himself a vagabond
+forced to every shift; he in a manner starved for many years, yet was
+guilty of no capital crime, till that unhappy accident occurred, which
+God has given him grace and sense enough to repent. However, I cannot
+but think his hard-hearted mother will bear her portion of the guilt,
+till washed away by a severe repentance.
+
+What a figure might this man have made in life, had due care been taken?
+If his peerage had not been adjusted, he might at least have been a fine
+gentleman; nay, probably have filled some handsome post in the
+government with applause, and called as much for respect as he does now
+for pity.
+
+Nor is this gentleman the only person begot and neglected by noble, or
+rather ignoble parents; we have but too many now living, who owe their
+birth to the best of our peerage, and yet know not where to eat. Hard
+fate, when the child would be glad of the scraps which the servants
+throw away! But Heaven generally rewards them accordingly, for many
+noble families are become extinct, and large estates alienated into
+other houses, while their own issue want bread.
+
+And now, methinks, I hear some over-squeamish ladies cry, What would
+this fellow be at? would not he set up a nursery for lewdness, and
+encourage fornication? who would be afraid of sinning, if they can so
+easily get rid of their bastards? we shall soon be overrun with
+foundlings when there is such encouragement given to whoredom. To which
+I answer, that I am as much against bastards being begot, as I am for
+their being murdered; but when a child is once begot, it cannot be
+unbegotten; and when once born, it must be kept; the fault, as I said
+before, is in the parents, not the child; and we ought to show our
+charity towards it as a fellow-creature and Christian, without any
+regard to its legitimacy or otherwise.
+
+The only way to put a stop to this growing evil, would be to oblige all
+housekeepers not to admit a man and woman as lodgers till they were
+certified of their being lawfully married; for now-a-days nothing is
+more common than for a whoremonger and a strumpet to pretend marriage,
+till they have left a child or two on the parish, and then shift to
+another part of the town.
+
+If there were no receivers, there would be no thieves; if there were no
+bawdyhouses, there would be no whores; and though persons letting
+lodgings be not actual procurers, yet, if they connive at the embraces
+of a couple, whose marriage is doubtful, they are no better than bawds,
+and their houses no more than brothels.
+
+Now should anybody ask how shall this hospital be built? how endowed? to
+which I answer, follow the steps of the Venetians, the Hamburghers, and
+other foreign states, &c., who have for ages past prosecuted this
+glorious design, and found their account therein. As for building a
+house, I am utterly against it, especially in the infancy of the affair:
+let a place convenient be hired. Why should such a considerable sum be
+sunk in building as has in late public structures, which have swallowed
+up part of the profits and dividend, if not the capital, of unwary
+stockmongers?
+
+To my great joy I find my project already anticipated, and a noble
+subscription carrying on for this purpose; to promote which I exhort all
+persons of compassion and generosity, and I shall think myself happy, if
+what I have said on this head may anyways contribute to further the
+same.
+
+Having said all I think material on this subject, I beg pardon for
+leaving my reader so abruptly, and crave leave to proceed to another
+article, viz.:--
+
+
+_A proposal to prevent the expensive importation of foreign musicians,
+&c., by forming an academy of our own._
+
+It will no doubt be asked what have I to do with music? to which I
+answer, I have been a lover of the science from my infancy, and in my
+younger days was accounted no despicable performer on the viol and lute,
+then much in vogue. I esteem it the most innocent amusement in life; it
+generally relaxes, after too great a hurry of spirits, and composes the
+mind into a sedateness prone to everything that is generous and good;
+and when the more necessary parts of education are finished, it is a
+most genteel and commendable accomplishment; it saves a great deal of
+drinking and debauchery in our sex, and helps the ladies off with many
+an idle hour, which sometimes might probably be worse employed
+otherwise.
+
+Our quality, gentry, and better sort of traders must have diversions;
+and if those that are commendable be denied, they will take to worse;
+now what can be more commendable than music, one of the seven liberal
+sciences, and no mean branch of the mathematics?
+
+Were it for no other reason I should esteem it, because it was the
+favourite diversion of his late majesty, of glorious memory; who was as
+wise a prince as ever filled the British throne. Nor is it less esteemed
+by their present majesties, whose souls are formed for harmony, and who
+have not disdained to make it a part in the education of their sacred
+race.
+
+Our nobility and gentry have shown their love to the science, by
+supporting at such prodigious expense the Italian opera, improperly
+called an academy; but they have at the same time shown no small
+partiality in discouraging anything English, and overloading the town
+with such heaps of foreign musicians.
+
+An academy, rightly understood, is a place for the propagation of
+science, by training up persons thereto from younger to riper years,
+under the instruction and inspection of proper artists; how can the
+Italian opera properly be called an academy, when none are admitted but
+such as are, at least are thought, or ought to be, adepts in music? If
+that be an academy, so are the theatres of Drury-lane, and Lincolns-inn
+Fields; nay, Punch's opera may pass for a lower kind of academy. Would
+it not be a glorious thing to have an opera of our own, in our own most
+noble tongue, in which the composer, singers, and orchestra, should be
+of our own growth? Not that we ought to disclaim all obligations to
+Italy, the mother of music, the nurse of Corelli, Handel, Bononcini,
+Geminiani; but then we ought not to be so stupidly partial to imagine
+ourselves too brutal a part of mankind to make any progress in the
+science? By the same reason that we love it, we may excel in it; love
+begets application, and application perfection. We have already had a
+Purcel, and no doubt there are now many latent geniuses, who only want
+proper instruction, application, and encouragement, to become great
+ornaments of the science, and make England emulate even Rome itself.
+
+What a number of excellent performers on all instruments have sprung up
+in England within these few years? That this is owing to the opera I
+will not deny, and so far the opera is an academy, as it refines the
+taste and inspires emulation.
+
+But though we are happy in instrumental performers, we frequently send
+to Italy for singers, and that at no small expense; to remedy which I
+humbly propose that the governors of Christ's Hospital will show their
+public spirit, by forming an academy of music on their foundation, after
+this or the like manner.
+
+That out of their great number of children, thirty boys be selected of
+good ears and propensity to music.
+
+That these boys be divided into three classes, viz., six for wind
+instruments, such as the hautboy, bassoon, and German flute.
+
+That sixteen others be selected for string instruments, or at least the
+most useful, viz., the violin and bass-violin.
+
+That the remaining eight be particularly chosen for voice, and organ, or
+harpsichord. That all in due time be taught composition. The boys thus
+chosen, three masters should be elected, each most excellent in his way;
+that is to say, one for the wind instrument, another for the stringed,
+and a third for the voice and organ, &c.
+
+Handsome salaries should be allowed these masters, to engage their
+constant attendance every day from eight till twelve in the morning; and
+I think 100_l._ per annum for each would be sufficient, which will be a
+trifle to so wealthy a body. The multiplicity of holidays should be
+abridged, and only a few kept; there cannot be too few, considering what
+a hinderance they are to juvenile studies. It is a vulgar error that has
+too long prevailed all over England to the great detriment of learning,
+and many boys have been made blockheads in complaisance to kings and
+saints dead for many ages past.
+
+The morning employed in music, the boys should go in the afternoon, or
+so many hours, to the reading and writing school, and in the evening
+should practice, at least two hours before bed-time, and two before the
+master comes in the morning. This course held for seven or eight years,
+will make them fine proficients; but that they should not go too raw or
+young out of the academy, it is proper, that at the stated age of
+apprenticeship, they be bound to the hospital, to engage their greater
+application, and make them thorough masters, before they launch out into
+the world; for one great hinderance to many performers is, that they
+begin to teach too soon, and obstruct their genius.
+
+What will not such a design produce in a few years? Will they not be
+able to perform a concert, choir, or opera, or all three, among
+themselves, and overpay the charge, as shall hereafter be specified?
+
+For example, we will suppose such a design to be continued for ten
+years, we shall find an orchestra of forty hands, and a choir or opera
+of twenty voices, or admitting that of those twenty only five prove
+capital singers, it will answer the intent.
+
+For the greater variety they may, if they think fit, take in two or more
+of their girls, where they find a promising genius, but this may be
+further considered of.
+
+Now, when they are enabled to exhibit an opera, will they not gain
+considerably when their voices and hands cost them only a college
+subsistence? and it is but reasonable the profits accruing from operas,
+concerts, or otherwise, should go to the hospital, to make good all
+former and future expenses, and enable them to extend the design to a
+greater length and grandeur; so that instead of 1,500_l._ per annum, the
+price of one Italian singer, we shall for 300_l._ once in ten years,
+have sixty English musicians regularly educated, and enabled to live by
+their science.
+
+There ought, moreover, to be annual probations, and proper prizes or
+premiums allotted, to excite emulation in the youths, and give life to
+their studies.
+
+They have already a music school, as they call it, but the allowance is
+too poor for this design, and the attendance too small, it must be every
+day, or not at all.
+
+This will be an academy indeed, and in process of time they will have
+even their masters among themselves; and what is the charge, compared
+with the profits, or their abilities?
+
+One thing I had like to have forgot, which is, that with permission of
+the right reverend the lords spiritual, some performance in music,
+suitable to the solemnity of the day, be exhibited every Sunday after
+divine service. Sacred poesy, and rhetoric may be likewise introduced to
+make it an entertainment suitable to a Christian and polite audience;
+and indeed we seem to want some such commendable employment for the
+better sort; for we see the public walks and taverns crowded, and rather
+than be idle, they will go to Newport market.
+
+That such an entertainment would be much preferable to drinking, gaming,
+or profane discourse, none can deny; and till it is proved to be
+prejudicial, I shall always imagine it necessary. The hall at the
+hospital will contain few less than seven hundred people, conveniently
+seated, which at so small a price as one shilling per head, will amount
+to 35_l._ per week; and if the performance deserve it, as no doubt it
+will in time, they may make it half a crown, or more, which must
+considerably increase the income of the hospital.
+
+When they are able to make an opera, the profits will be yet more
+considerable, nor will they reap much less from what the youths bring in
+during their apprenticeship, when employed at concerts, theatres, or
+other public entertainments.
+
+Having advanced what I think proper on this head, or at least enough for
+a hint, I proceed to offer,
+
+
+_That many youths and servants may be saved from destruction were the
+streets cleared of shameless and impudent strumpets, gaming tables
+totally suppressed, and a stop put to sabbath debauches._
+
+The corruption of our children and servants is of importance sufficient
+to require our utmost precaution; and moreover, women servants (commonly
+called maid-servants) are such necessary creatures, that it is by no
+means below us to make them beneficial rather than prejudicial to us.
+
+I shall not run into a description of their abuses; we know enough of
+those already. Our business now is to make them useful, first by
+ascertaining their wages at a proper standard.
+
+Secondly, by obliging them to continue longer in service, not to stroll
+about from place to place, and throw themselves on the town on every
+dislike.
+
+Thirdly, to prevent their being harboured by wicked persons, when out
+of place; or living too long on their own hands.
+
+As for their wages, they have topped upon us already, and doubled them
+in spite of our teeth; but as they have had wit enough to get them, so
+will they, I doubt not, have the same sense to keep them, and much good
+may it do those indolent over-secure persons, who have given them this
+advantage. However, if they are honest and diligent, I would have them
+encouraged, and handsome wages allowed them; because, by this means, we
+provide for the children of the inferior class of people, who otherwise
+could not maintain themselves; nay, sometimes tradesmen, &c., reduced,
+are glad when their children cease to hang upon them, by getting into
+service, and by that means not only maintaining themselves, but being of
+use in other families. But then there ought to be some medium, some
+limitation to their wages, or they may extort more than can well be
+afforded.
+
+Nothing calls for more redress than their quitting service for every
+idle disgust, leaving a master or mistress at a nonplus, and all under
+plea of a foolish old custom, called warning, nowhere practised but in
+London; for in other places they are hired by the year, or by the
+statute as they call it, which settles them in a place, at least for
+some time; whereas, when they are not limited, it encourages a roving
+temper, and makes them never easy.
+
+If you turn them away without warning, they will make you pay a month's
+wages, be the provocation or offence never so great; but if they leave
+you, though never so abruptly, or unprovided, help yourselves how you
+can, there is no redress; though I think there ought, in all conscience,
+to be as much law for the master as for the servant.
+
+No servant should quit a place where they are well fed and paid,
+without assigning a good reason before a magistrate. On the other hand,
+they should receive no abuse which should not be redressed; for we ought
+to treat them as servants, not slaves; and a medium ought to be observed
+on both sides. But if they are not restrained from quitting service on
+every vagary, they will throw themselves on the town, and not only ruin
+themselves, but others; for example, a girl quits a place and turns
+whore; if there is not a bastard to be murdered, or left to the parish,
+there is one or more unwary youths drawn in to support her in lewdness
+and idleness; in order to which, they rob their parents and masters,
+nay, sometimes, anybody else, to support their strumpets; so that many
+thieves owe their ruin and shameful deaths to harlots; not to mention
+the communication of loathsome distempers, and innumerable other evils,
+to which they give birth.
+
+How many youths, of all ranks, are daily ruined? and how justly may be
+dreaded the loss of as many more, if a speedy stop be not put to this
+growing evil? Generations to come will curse the neglect of the present,
+and every sin committed for the future may be passed to our account, if
+we do not use our endeavours to the contrary.
+
+And unless we prevent our maid-servants from being harboured by wicked
+persons when out of place, or living too long on their own hands, our
+streets will swarm with impudent shameless strumpets; the good will be
+molested; those prone to evil will be made yet more wicked, by having
+temptations thrown in their way; and, to crown all, we shall have scarce
+a servant left, but our wives, &c., must do the household-work
+themselves.
+
+If this be not worthy the consideration of a legislature, I would fain
+know what is. Is it not time to limit their wages, when they are grown
+so wanton they know not what to ask? Is it not time to fix them, when
+they stroll from place to place, and we are hardly sure of a servant a
+month together? Is it not time to prevent the increase of harlots, by
+making it penal for servants to be harboured in idleness, and tempted to
+theft, whoredom, murder, &c., by living too long out of place? and I am
+sure it is high time to begin the work, by clearing the public streets
+of night-walkers, who are grown to such a pitch of impudence that peace
+and common decency are manifestly broken in our public streets. I wonder
+this has so long escaped the eye of the magistrate, especially when
+there are already in force laws sufficient to restrain this tide of
+uncleanness, which will one day overflow us.
+
+The lewdest people upon earth, ourselves excepted, are not guilty of
+such open violations of the laws of decency. Go all the world over, and
+you will see no such impudence as in the streets of London, which makes
+many foreigners give our women in general a bad character, from the vile
+specimens they meet with from one end of the town to the other. Our
+sessions' papers are full of the trials of impudent sluts, who first
+decoy men and then rob them; a meanness the courtesans of Rome and
+Venice abhor.
+
+How many honest women, those of the inferior sort especially, get
+loathsome distempers from their husband's commerce with these creatures,
+which distempers are often entailed on posterity; nor have we an
+hospital separated for that purpose, which does not contain too many
+instances of honest poor wretches made miserable by villains of
+husbands.
+
+And now I have mentioned the villany of some husbands in the lower state
+of life, give me leave to propose, or at least to wish, that they were
+restrained from abusing their wives at that barbarous rate, which is
+now practised by butchers, carmen, and such inferior sort of fellows,
+who are public nuisances to civil neighbourhoods, and yet nobody cares
+to interpose, because the riot is between a man and his wife.
+
+I see no reason why every profligate fellow shall have the liberty to
+disturb a whole neighbourhood, and abuse a poor honest creature at a
+most inhuman rate, and is not to be called to account because it is his
+wife; this sort of barbarity was never so notorious and so much
+encouraged as at present, for every vagabond thinks he may cripple his
+wife at pleasure; and it is enough to pierce a heart of stone to see how
+barbarously some poor creatures are beaten and abused by merciless dogs
+of husbands.
+
+It gives an ill example to the growing generation, and this evil will
+gain ground on us if not prevented; it may be answered, the law has
+already provided redress, and a woman abused may swear the peace against
+her husband, but what woman cares to do that? It is revenging herself on
+herself, and not without considerable charge and trouble.
+
+There ought to be a shorter way, and when a man has beaten his wife,
+which by the by is a most unmanly action, and great sign of cowardice,
+it behoves every neighbour who has the least humanity or compassion, to
+complain to the next justice of the peace, who should be empowered to
+set him in the stocks for the first offence; to have him well scourged
+at the whipping-post for the second; and if he persisted in his
+barbarous abuse of the holy marriage state, to send him to the house of
+correction till he should learn to use more mercy to his yoke-fellow.
+
+How hard is it for a poor industrious woman to be up early and late, to
+sit in a cold shop, stall, or market, all weathers, to carry heavy loads
+from one end of the town to the other, or to work from morning till
+night, and even then dread going home for fear of being murdered? Some
+may think this too low a topic for me to expatiate upon, to which I
+answer, that it is a charitable and Christian one, and therefore not in
+the least beneath the consideration of any man who had a woman for his
+mother.
+
+The mention of this leads me to exclaim against the vile practice now so
+much in vogue among the better sort as they are called, but the worst
+sort in fact; namely, the sending their wives to madhouses, at every
+whim or dislike, that they may be more secure and undisturbed in their
+debaucheries; which wicked custom is got to such a head, that the number
+of private madhouses in and about London are considerably increased
+within these few years.
+
+This is the height of barbarity and injustice in a Christian country, it
+is a clandestine inquisition, nay worse.
+
+How many ladies and gentlewomen are hurried away to these houses, which
+ought to be suppressed, or at least subject to daily examination, as
+hereafter shall be proposed?
+
+How many, I say, of beauty, virtue, and fortune, are suddenly torn from
+their dear innocent babes, from the arms of an unworthy man, whom they
+love, perhaps, but too well, and who in return for that love, nay
+probably an ample fortune and a lovely offspring besides, grows weary of
+the pure streams of chaste love, and thirsting after the puddles of
+lawless lust, buries his virtuous wife alive, that he may have the
+greater freedom with his mistresses?
+
+If they are not mad when they go into these cursed houses, they are soon
+made so by the barbarous usage they there suffer; and any woman of
+spirit, who has the least love for her husband, or concern for her
+family, cannot sit down tamely under a confinement and separation the
+most unaccountable and unreasonable.
+
+Is it not enough to make any one mad to be suddenly clapped up,
+stripped, whipped, ill-fed, and worse used? To have no reason assigned
+for such treatment, no crime alleged, or accusers to confront? And what
+is worse, no soul to appeal to but merciless creatures, who answer but
+in laughter, surliness, contradiction, and too often stripes?
+
+All conveniences for writing are denied, no messenger to be had to carry
+a letter to any relation or friend; and if this tyrannical inquisition,
+joined with the reasonable reflections a woman of any common
+understanding must necessarily make, be not sufficient to drive any soul
+stark staring mad, though before they were never so much in their right
+senses, I have no more to say.
+
+When by this means a wicked husband has driven a poor creature mad, and
+robbed an injured wife of her reason, for it is much easier to create
+than to cure madness, then has the villain a handle for his roguery;
+then, perhaps, he will admit her distressed relations to see her, when
+it is too late to cure the madness he so artfully and barbarously has
+procured.
+
+But this is not all: sometimes more dismal effects attend this
+inquisition, for death is but too often the cure of their madness and
+end of their sorrows; some with ill usage, some with grief, and many
+with both, are barbarously cut off in the prime of their years and
+flower of their health, who otherwise might have been mothers of a
+numerous issue, and survived many years. This is murder in the deepest
+sense, and much more cruel than dagger or poison, because more
+lingering; they die by piecemeal, and in all the agonies and terrors of
+a distracted mind.
+
+Nay, it is murder upon murder, for the issue that might have been begot
+is to be accounted for to God and the public. Now, if this kind of
+murder is connived at, we shall no doubt have enough, nay, too much of
+it; for if a man is weary of his wife, has spent her fortune, and wants
+another, it is but sending her to a madhouse and the business is done at
+once.
+
+How many have already been murdered after this manner is best known to
+just Heaven, and those unjust husbands and their damned accomplices,
+who, though now secure in their guilt, will one day find it is murder of
+the blackest dye, has the least claim to mercy, and calls aloud for the
+severest vengeance.
+
+How many are yet to be sacrificed, unless a speedy stop be put to this
+most accursed practice, I tremble to think; our legislature cannot take
+this cause too soon in hand. This surely cannot be below their notice,
+and it will be an easy matter at once to suppress all these pretended
+madhouses. Indulge, gentle reader, for once the doting of an old man,
+and give him leave to lay down his little system without arraigning him
+of arrogance or ambition to be a lawgiver. In my humble opinion, all
+private madhouses should be suppressed at once, and it should be no less
+than felony to confine any person under pretence of madness without due
+authority.
+
+For the cure of those who are really lunatic, licensed madhouses should
+be constituted in convenient parts of the town, which houses should be
+subject to proper visitation and inspection, nor should any person be
+sent to a madhouse without due reason, inquiry, and authority.
+
+It may be objected, by persons determined to contradict every thing and
+approve nothing, that the abuses complained of are not so numerous or
+heinous as I would insinuate. Why are not facts advanced, they will be
+apt to say, to give a face of truth to these assertions? But I have two
+reasons to the contrary; the first is, the more you convince them, the
+more angry you make them, for they are never better pleased than when
+they have an opportunity of finding fault; therefore, to curry favour
+with the fault-finders, I have left them a loophole: the second and real
+is, because I do not care to bring an old house over my head by
+mentioning particular names or special cases, thereby drawing myself
+into vexatious prosecutions and suits at law from litigious wretches,
+who would be galled to find their villanies made public, and stick at no
+expense or foul play to revenge themselves. Not but I could bring many
+instances, particularly of an unhappy widow, put in by a villain of a
+husband, and now continued in for the sake of her jointure by her
+unnatural son, far from common honesty or humanity. Of another, whose
+husband keeps his mistress in black velvet, and is seen with her every
+night at the opera or play, while his poor wife (by much the finer
+woman, and of an understanding far superior to her thick-skulled
+tyrant,) is kept mean in diet and apparel; nay, ill-used into the
+bargain, notwithstanding her fortune supplies all the villain's
+extravagances, and he has not a shilling but what came from her: but a
+beggar when once set on horseback proves always the most unmerciful
+rider.
+
+I cannot leave this subject without inserting one particular case.
+
+A lady of known beauty, virtue, and fortune, nay more, of wisdom, not
+flashy wit, was, in the prime of her youth and beauty, and when her
+senses were perfectly sound, carried by her husband in his coach as to
+the opera; but the coachman had other instructions, and drove directly
+to a madhouse, where the poor innocent lady was no sooner introduced,
+under pretence of calling by the way to see some pictures he had a mind
+to buy, but the key was turned upon her, and she left a prisoner by her
+faithless husband, who while his injured wife was confined and used with
+the utmost barbarity, he, like a profligate wretch, ran through her
+fortune with strumpets, and then basely, under pretence of giving her
+liberty, extorted her to make over her jointure, which she had no sooner
+done but he laughed in her face, and left her to be as ill-used as ever.
+This he soon ran through, and (happily for the lady) died by the justice
+of heaven in a salivation his debauches had obliged him to undergo.
+
+During her confinement, the villain of the madhouse frequently attempted
+her chastity; and the more she repulsed him the worse he treated her,
+till at last he drove her mad in good earnest. Her distressed brother,
+who is fond of her to the last degree, now confines her in part of his
+own house, treating her with great tenderness, but has the mortification
+to be assured by the ablest physicians that his poor sister is
+irrecoverably distracted.
+
+Numberless are the instances I could produce, but they would be
+accounted fictitious, because I do not name the particular persons, for
+the reasons before assigned; but the sufferings of these poor ladies are
+not fictitious, nor are the villany of the madhouses, or the unnatural,
+though fashionable barbarity of husbands, chimeras, but too solid
+grievances, and manifest violations of the laws of God and man.
+
+Most gracious and august queen Caroline! ornament of your sex, and pride
+of the British nation! the best of mothers, the best of wives, the best
+of women! Begin this auspicious reign with an action worthy your
+illustrious self, rescue your injured sex from this tyranny, nor let it
+be in the power of every brutal husband to cage and confine his wife at
+pleasure, a practice scarce heard of till of late years. Nip it in the
+bud, most gracious queen, and draw on yourself the blessings of
+numberless of the fair sex, now groaning under the severest and most
+unjust bondage. Restore them to their families; let them, by your means,
+enjoy light and liberty; that while they fondly embrace, and with tears
+of joy weep over their dear children, so long withheld from them, they
+may invoke accumulated blessings from heaven upon your royal head!
+
+And you, ye fair illustrious circle! who adorn the British court! and
+every day surround our gracious queen: let generous pity inspire your
+souls, and move you to intercede with your noble consorts for redress in
+this injurious affair. Who can deny when you become suitors? and who
+knows but at your request a bill may be brought into the house to
+regulate these abuses? The cause is a noble and a common one, and ought
+to be espoused by every lady who would claim the least title to virtue
+or compassion. I am sure no honest member in either honourable house
+will be against so reasonable a bill; the business is for some
+public-spirited patriot to break the ice by bringing it into the house,
+and I dare lay my life it passes.
+
+I must beg my reader's indulgence, being the most immethodical writer
+imaginable. It is true I lay down a scheme, but fancy is so fertile I
+often start fresh hints, and cannot but pursue them; pardon therefore,
+kind reader, my digressive way of writing, and let the subject, not the
+style or method, engage thy attention.
+
+Return we, therefore, to complain of destructive gaming-houses, the bane
+of our youth, and ruin of our children and servants.
+
+This is the most unprofitable evil upon earth, for it only tends to
+alienate the proper current of specie, to maintain a pack of idle
+sharping rascals, and beggar unwary gentlemen and traders.
+
+I take the itch of gaming to be the most pernicious of vices, it is a
+kind of avaricious madness; and if people have not sense to command
+themselves by reason, they ought to be restrained by law; nor suffered
+to ruin themselves and families, to enrich a crew of sharpers.
+
+There is no playing on the square with these villains; they are sure to
+cheat you, either by sleight of hand, confederacy, or false dice, &c.;
+they have so much the odds of their infatuated bubbles, that they might
+safely play a guinea to a shilling, and yet be sure of winning. This is
+but genteel pocket picking, or felony with another name, and yet, so
+fond are we of it, that from the footboy to the lord, all must have a
+touch of gaming; and there are sharpers of different stations and
+denominations, from Southwark-fair to the groom porters. Shame, that
+gentlemen should suffer every scoundrel to mix with them for gaming
+sake! And equal shame, that honest laborious tradesmen should be
+obstructed in crossing the public streets, by the gilt chariots of
+vagabond gamesters; who now infest the land, and brave even our nobility
+and gentry with their own money.
+
+But the most barbarous part of this hellish trade is what they call
+setting of young gentlemen, apprentices, and others; this ought to be
+deemed felony without benefit of clergy; for it is the worst of
+thievery. Under pretence of taking a bottle, or spending an evening
+gaily, they draw their cull to the tavern, where they sit not long
+before the devil's bones or books are found accidentally on purpose, by
+the help of which they strip my gentleman in an instant, and then
+generously lend him his own money, to lose afresh, and create a debt
+which is but too often more justly paid than those more justly due.
+
+If we look into some late bankruptcies we shall find some noted
+gamesters the principal creditors; I think, in such cases it would be
+but justice to make void the gamester's debt, and subject his estate to
+make good the deficiencies of the bankrupt's effects. If traders have no
+more wit, the public should have pity on them; and make it as penal to
+lose as to win; and, in truth, if cards, dice, &c., were totally
+suppressed, industry and arts would increase the more; gaming may make a
+man crafty, but not polite; one may understand cards and dice perfectly
+well, and be a blockhead in everything else.
+
+I am sorry to see it so prevalent in the city among the trading part of
+mankind, who have introduced it into their clubs, and play so high of
+late that many bankrupts have been made by this pernicious practice.
+
+It is the bane of all conversation; and those who can't sit an hour
+without gaming, should never go into a club to spoil company. In a word,
+it is mere madness, and a most stupid thing to hazard one's fortune, and
+perplex one's mind; nay, to sit up whole nights, poring over toys of
+pipped ivory and painted pasteboard, making ourselves worse than little
+children, whose innocent sports we so much ridicule.
+
+To sum up all, I think it would be a noble retribution, to subject
+gamesters' estates to the use and support of the poor widows and orphans
+of their unfortunate bubbles.
+
+Sunday debauches are abuses that call loud for amendment; it is in this
+pernicious soil the seeds of ruin are first sown. Instead of a day of
+rest, we make it a day of labour, by toiling in the devil's vineyard;
+and but too many surfeit themselves with the fruits of gluttony,
+drunkenness, and uncleanness.
+
+Not that I am so superciliously strict, to have the sabbath kept as
+rigidly here as in Scotland, but then there ought to be a medium between
+the severity of a fast, and the riot of Saturnalia. Instead of a decent
+and cheerful solemnity, our taverns and publichouses have more business
+that day than all the week beside. Our apprentices plume themselves;
+nay, some scruple not to put on their swords and tie wigs, or toupees,
+and the loose end of the town is their rendezvous, Sunday being
+market-day all round the hundreds of Drury.
+
+While we want servants to do our work, those hundreds, as they call
+them, are crowded with numbers of idle impudent sluts, who love sporting
+more than spinning, and inveigle our youth to their ruin; nay, many old
+lechers, beasts as they are! steal from their families, and seek these
+harlots' lurking holes, to practise their unaccountable schemes of new
+invented lewdnesses; some half hang themselves, others are whipped, some
+lie under a table and gnaw the bones that are thrown them, while others
+stand slaving among a parcel of drabs at a washing tub. Strange that the
+inclination should not die with the power, but that old fools should
+make themselves the prey and ridicule of a pack of strumpets!
+
+Some heedless youths are wheedled into marriage, which makes them and
+their unhappy parents miserable all their lives; others are drawn into
+extravagancies, and but too often run into their master's cash, and for
+fear of a discovery, make away with themselves, or at least run away and
+leave their distracted parents in a thousand tears; not to mention the
+frustration of their fortune, and the miseries that attend a vagabond
+life. Thus honest parents lose their children, and traders their
+apprentices, and all from a liberty we have of late given our youth of
+rambling abroad on Sundays; for many, nowadays will lie out all night,
+or stay out so late to give no small disturbance in sober families. It
+therefore behoves every master of a family to have his servants under
+his eye; and if the going to church, meeting, or whatever place of
+worship suited their religion, were more enforced, it would be so much
+the better.
+
+In short, the luxury of the age will be the ruin of the nation, if not
+prevented. We leave trade to game in stocks; we live above ourselves,
+and barter our ready money for trifles; tea and wine are all we seem
+anxious for, and God has given the blessings of life to an ungrateful
+people, who despise their own productions. Our very plough-fellows drink
+wine nowadays; our farmers, graziers, and butchers, are above malt
+liquors; and the wholesome breakfast of water-gruel and milk potage is
+changed for coffee and tea. This is the reason provisions and corn, &c.,
+are so dear; we all work for vintners, and raise our prices one upon
+another to such a degree, it will be an impossibility to live, and we
+shall, of course, become our own devourers.
+
+We strain at a gnat and swallow a camel; and, in this instance, the
+publichouses are kept open to furnish our luxury, while we deny
+ourselves other necessaries of life, out of a scruple of conscience. For
+example; in extreme hot weather, when meat will not keep from Saturday
+to Sunday, we throw, or cause to be thrown away, vast quantities of
+tainted meat, and have generally stinking dinners, because the butchers
+dare not sell a joint of meat on a Sunday morning. Now, though I would
+not have the Sabbath so far violated as to have it a market-day, yet,
+rather than abuse God's mercies by throwing away creatures given for our
+use, nay, for our own healths and cleanliness sake, I would have the
+same indulgence in extreme hot weather, as there is for milk and
+mackerel; that is to say, that meat might be killed in the cool of the
+morning, viz., one or two of the clock, and sold till nine, and no
+longer; nor should villanous informers have power to molest them in this
+innocent and reasonable amendment of a ridiculous vulgar error.
+
+I cannot forbear taking notice of the extravagant use, or rather abuse,
+of that nauseous liquor called Geneva, among our lower sort. Those who
+deny that an inferior class of people are most necessary in a body
+politic, contradict reason and experience itself, since they are most
+useful when industrious, and as pernicious when lazy. By their industry
+our manufactures, trade, and commerce are carried on; the merchant in
+his counting-house, and the captain in his cabin, would find but little
+employment were it not that many hands carried on the different branches
+of the concern they superintended.
+
+But now, so far are our common people infatuated with Geneva, that half
+the work is not done now as formerly. It debilitates and enervates them,
+and they are not near so strong and healthy as formerly. This accursed
+liquor is in itself so diuretic, it overstrains the parts of generation,
+and makes our common people incapable of getting such lusty children as
+they used to do. Add to this, that the women, by drinking it, spoil
+their milk, and by giving it to young children, as they foolishly do,
+spoil the stomach, and hinder digestion; so that in less than an age, we
+may expect a fine spindle-shanked generation.
+
+There is not in nature so unhealthy a liquor as Geneva, especially as
+commonly sold; it curdles the blood, it stupefies the senses, it weakens
+the nerves, it spoils the eyesight, and entirely ruins the stomach; nay,
+some stomachs have been rendered so cold by the use of Geneva, that lamp
+spirits have not been a dram warm enough for them. Surely they will come
+to drink aquafortis at last!
+
+On the contrary, our own malt liquors, especially common draught beer,
+is most wholesome and nourishing, and has brought up better generations
+than the present: it is strengthening, cooling, and balsamic; it helps
+digestion, and carries nourishment with it; and, in spite of the whims
+of some physicians, is most pertinent to a human, especially a good
+wholesome English, constitution. Nay, the honest part of the faculty
+deny not the use of small beer, well brewed, even in fevers. I, myself,
+have found great benefit by it; and if it be good in its kind, it is the
+finest jalap upon earth.
+
+If this abuse of Geneva be not stopped, we may go whoop for husbandmen,
+labourers, &c. Trade must consequently stand still, and the credit of
+the nation sink; nor is the abatement of the excise, though very
+considerable, and most worthy notice, any ways comparable to the
+corruption of manners, the destruction of health, and all the train of
+evils we are threatened with from pernicious Geneva.
+
+
+_An effectual method to prevent street robberies._
+
+The principal encouragements and opportunity given to street robbers is,
+that our streets are so poorly watched; the watchmen, for the most part,
+being decrepit, superannuated wretches, with one foot in the grave and
+the other ready to follow; so feeble that a puff of breath can blow
+them down. Poor crazy mortals! much fitter for an almshouse than a
+watchhouse. A city watched and guarded by such animals is wretchedly
+watched indeed.
+
+Nay, so little terror do our watchmen carry with them, that hardy
+thieves make a mere jest of them, and sometimes oblige even the very
+watchman who should apprehend them to light them in their roguery. And
+what can a poor creature do, in terror of his life, surrounded by a pack
+of ruffians, and no assistance near?
+
+Add to this, that our rogues are grown more wicked than ever, and vice
+in all kinds is so much winked at, that robbery is accounted a petty
+crime. We take pains to puff them up in their villany, and thieves are
+set out in so amiable a light in the Beggar's Opera, that it has taught
+them to value themselves on their profession rather than be ashamed of
+it.
+
+There was some cessation of street robberies, from the time of Bunworth
+and Blewitt's execution, until the introduction of this pious opera. Now
+we find the Cartouchian villanies revived, and London, that used to be
+the most safe and peaceful city in the universe, is now a scene of
+rapine and danger. If some of Cartouch's gang be not come over to
+instruct our thieves, and propagate their schemes, we have, doubtless, a
+Cartouch of our own, and a gang which, if not suppressed, may be full as
+pernicious as ever Cartouch's was, and London will be as dangerous as
+Paris, if due care be not taken.
+
+We ought to begin our endeavours to suppress these villanies, first by
+heavenly, and then by earthly means.
+
+By heavenly means, in enforcing and encouraging a reformation of
+manners, by suppressing of vice and immorality, and punishing
+profaneness and licentiousness. Our youth are corrupted by filthy, lewd
+ballads, sung and sold publicly in our streets; nay, unlicensed and
+unstamped, notwithstanding acts of parliament to the contrary.
+
+Coachmen, carmen, &c, are indulged in swearing after the most
+blasphemous, shocking, and unaccountable rate that ever was known. New
+oaths and blasphemies are daily uttered and invented; and rather than
+not exercise this hellish talent, they will vent their curses on their
+very horses; and, oh stupid! damn the blood of a post, rather than want
+something to curse.
+
+Our common women, too, have learned this vice; and not only strumpets,
+but labouring women, who keep our markets, and vend things about street,
+swear and curse at a most hideous rate. Their children learn it from
+their parents, and those of the middle, or even the better sort of
+people, if they pass through the streets to school, or to play, catch
+the infection, and carry home such words as must consequently be very
+shocking to sober parents.
+
+Our youth, in general, have too much liberty; the Sabbath is not kept
+with due solemnity; masters and mistresses of families are too remiss in
+the care of the souls committed to their charge. Family prayer is
+neglected; and, to the shame of scoffers be it spoken, too much
+ridiculed. All ages and sexes, if in health, should be obliged to attend
+public worship, according to their respective opinions. Were it only to
+keep youth out of harm's way it would do well. But it is to be hoped, if
+their parents, masters, or mistresses, should oblige their attendance at
+public devotion, they would edify by what they should hear, and many
+wicked acts would be stifled in their infancy, and checked even in the
+intention, by good and useful doctrine.
+
+Our common people make it a day of debauch, and get so drunk on a
+Sunday they cannot work for a day or two following. Nay, since the use
+of Geneva has become so common, many get so often drunk they cannot work
+at all, but run from one irregularity to another, till at last they
+become arrant rogues. And this is the foundation of all our present
+complaints.
+
+We will suppose a man able to maintain himself and family by his trade,
+and at the same time to be a Geneva drinker. This fellow first makes
+himself incapable of working by being continually drunk; this runs him
+behindhand, and he either pawns or neglects his work, for which reason
+nobody will employ him. At last, fear of arrests, his own hunger, the
+cries of his family for bread, his natural desire to support an
+irregular life, and a propense hatred to labour, turn but too many an
+honest tradesman into an arrant desperate rogue. And these are commonly
+the means that furnish us with thieves and villains in general.
+
+Thus is a man, that might be useful in a body politic, rendered
+obnoxious to the same: and if this trade of wickedness goes on, they
+will grow and increase upon us, insomuch that we shall not dare to stir
+out of our habitations; nay, it will be well if they arrive not to the
+impudence of plundering our houses at noonday.
+
+Where is the courage of the English nation, that a gentleman, with six
+or seven servants, shall be robbed by one single highwayman? Yet we have
+lately had instances of this; and for this we may thank our effeminacy,
+our toupee wigs, and powdered pates, our tea, and other scandalous
+fopperies; and, above all, the disuse of noble and manly sports, so
+necessary to a brave people, once in vogue, but now totally lost among
+us.
+
+Let not the reader think I run from my subject if I search the bottom
+of the distemper before I propose a cure, which having done, though
+indeed but slightly, for this is an argument could be carried to a much
+greater length, I proceed next to propose earthly means in the manner
+following.
+
+Let the watch be composed of stout able-bodied men, and of those at
+least treble the number now subsisting, that is to say, a watchman to
+every forty houses, twenty on one side of the way, and twenty on the
+other; for it is observable that a man cannot well see distinctly beyond
+the extent of twenty houses in a row; if it is a single row, and no
+opposite houses, the charge must be greater and their safety less. This
+man should be elected and paid by the housekeepers themselves, to
+prevent misapplication and abuse, so much complained of in the
+distribution of public money.
+
+He should be allowed ten shillings per annum by each housekeeper, which
+at forty houses, as above specified, amounts to 20_l._ per annum, almost
+treble to what is at present allowed; and yet most housekeepers are
+charged at least 2s. 6d. a quarter to the watch, whose beat is,
+generally speaking, little less than the compass of half a mile.
+
+This salary is something of encouragement, and a pretty settlement to a
+poor man, who with frugality may live decently thereon, and by due rest
+be enabled to give vigilant attendance.
+
+If a housekeeper break, or a house is empty, the poor watchman ought not
+to suffer, the deficiency should be made up by the housekeepers
+remaining.
+
+Or, indeed, all housekeepers might be excused, if a tax of only one
+shilling per annum were levied on every bachelor within the bills of
+mortality, and above the age of one-and-twenty, who is not a
+housekeeper: for these young sparks are a kind of unprofitable gentry to
+the state; they claim public safety and advantages, and yet pay nothing
+to the public; nay, indeed, they in a manner live upon the public, for
+(on a Sunday especially) at least a million of these gentlemen quarter
+themselves upon the married men, and rob many families of part of a
+week's provision, more particularly when they play a good knife and
+fork, and are of the family of the Tuckers.
+
+I beg pardon for this whimsical proposal, which, ludicrous as it seems,
+has something in it; and may be improved. Return we, in the mean time,
+to our subject.
+
+The watch thus stationed, strengthened, and encouraged, let every
+watchman be armed with firearms and sword; and let no watchman stand
+above twenty doors distant from his fellow.
+
+Let each watchman be provided with a bugle-horn, to sound an alarm, or
+in time of danger; and let it be made penal, if not felony, for any but
+a watchman to sound a horn in and about the city, from the time of their
+going on, to that of their going off.
+
+An objection will be here made on account of the postboys, to obviate
+which, I had thoughts of a bell, but that would be too ponderous and
+troublesome for a watchman to carry, besides his arms and lantern. As to
+a fixed bell, if the watchman is at another part of his walk, how can he
+give notice? Besides, rogues may play tricks with the bell; whereas a
+horn is portable, always ready, and most alarming.
+
+Let the postboys therefore use some other signal, since this is most
+convenient to this more material purpose. They may carry a bell in a
+holster with ease, and give notice by that, as well as those who collect
+the letters.
+
+That the watchmen may see from one end of their walks to the other, let
+a convenient number of lamps be set up, and those not of the convex
+kind, which blind the eyes, and are of no manner of use; they dazzle,
+but give no distinct light: and further, rather than prevent robberies,
+many, deceived and blinded by these _ignes fatui_, have been run over by
+coaches, carts, &c. People stumble more upon one another, even under
+these very lamps, than in the dark. In short, they are most unprofitable
+lights, and in my opinion, rather abuses than benefits.
+
+Besides, I see no reason why every ten housekeepers cannot find a lamp
+among themselves, and let their watchman dress it, rather than fatten a
+crew of directors; but we are so fond of companies, it is a wonder we
+have not our shoes blacked by one, and a set of directors made rich at
+the expense of our very black-guards. Convenient turnpikes and stoppages
+may be made to prevent escapes, and it will be proper for a watchman to
+be placed at one of these, fixed at the end of a lane, court, alley, or
+other thoroughfare, which may happen in any part of his beat, and so as
+not to obstruct his view to both ends thereof, or being able to give
+notice, as aforesaid; for the watch ought to be in view, as well as in
+the hearing of each other, or they may be overpowered, and much danger
+may happen.
+
+The streets thus guarded and illuminated, what remains but that the
+money allotted by the government be instantly paid on conviction of
+every offender; for delays in this case are of dangerous consequence,
+and nobody will venture their lives in hopes of a reward, if it be not
+duly and timely paid. If there is reason of complaint on this head, it
+ought to be looked into by those at the helm; for nothing can be more
+vile than for underlings to abuse the benevolence of the public, or
+their superiors, by sinking, abridging, or delaying public or private
+benefits. And it is by no means below the dignity or care, even of the
+greatest, to see the disposal of their own bounty and charity; for it
+loses but too often by the carriage: and where a nobleman or other
+generous person has ordered five guineas to be given, it is well if the
+proper object has had even one.
+
+Something allowed by the Chamber of London to every person apprehending
+a robber, would have a good effect, especially if it be not told over a
+gridiron, but paid without delay or abatement. And what if the fewer
+custards are eat, so it augment the public safety.
+
+Some of our common soldiery are, and I hope unjustly, suspected. This
+may be easily confuted, if strict orders are enforced, that none but
+commission or warrant officers shall be out of their quarters after ten
+at night. But if we consider, that neither Blewit, Bunworth, or their
+gangs, were soldiers, and that of those who have been executed for ten
+years past, not one in ten were soldiers, but, on the contrary, seamen
+discharged and thrown on the public without present subsistence, which
+makes them desperate; but I hope the act now depending for the
+encouragement of seamen, &c., will sufficiently remove that obstacle
+also. This, I hope, will stop the mouths of censorious persons, who
+unjustly arraign our soldiery for the vices of others. However, to make
+all easy, I believe the generality of them will gladly submit to the
+restraint proposed, merely to show their innocence.
+
+Mean time, would his most sacred majesty let them partake of his bounty,
+as the officers, &c., have done, and raise their pay, were it but one
+penny _per diem_, it would be a most royal bounty, would considerably
+contribute to their support, and put them above any sordid views: and
+there was never more occasion than now, when provisions of all kinds are
+so excessive dear.
+
+Having offered my little mite to the public, I beg they will excuse the
+deficiency of my style, and multitude of my errors, for my intention's
+sake. I write without prospect of gain; if I am censured, it is what I
+can but expect; but if among all my schemes one proves of service, my
+desires and labours are amply answered.
+
+
+_Omissions._
+
+In my scheme for an university in London I proposed only a hall or
+public room; on recollection I find it should be a large house or inn,
+in the nature of a college, with store of convenient rooms for
+gentlemen, not only to study separately, but wherein to lodge their
+books, for it would be most inconvenient to lug them backwards and
+forwards. They may indeed breakfast, sup, and sleep at home, but it will
+be highly necessary they should dine in commons, or at least near the
+college; not that I would have cooks, butlers, caterers, manciples, and
+the whole train of college cannibals retained; but for fear they should
+stay too long at home, or be hindered from returning to study in due
+time, some proper place or person might be pitched upon to keep an
+ordinary, at a prefixed price and hour, and for the students only.
+
+My reasons are these:--
+
+First, A young gentleman may live too far from college.
+
+Second, The college hours for dinner may not agree with those of the
+family.
+
+Third, Company may drop in and detain him.
+
+These being, I think, the only material objections could be offered, I
+hope I have amply provided against them, and rendered my project more
+perfect and unexceptionable.
+
+ * * * * *
+
+One omission I made in the discourse on madhouses, &c., is, that maiden
+ladies as well as widows and wives are liable to the inquisition there
+complained of, and I am informed a good estate is lately come to a
+worthless family by the death, or rather murder, of an innocent young
+creature, who being left very rich, chose to live with her friends; but
+well had it been for her had she taken up her abode among strangers, for
+they staved off all proposals for marriage a considerable time, and when
+at last they found the lady would not be hindered from altering her
+condition, she was hurried away to a madhouse, where she miserably ended
+her days, while they rioted in the pillage of her fortune. Thus neither
+maid, wife, or widow, are safe while these accursed madhouses are
+suffered; nay, I see no reason, if the age improves in wickedness, as in
+all probability it may, but the men, _per contra_, may take their turns.
+Younger brothers, &c., may clap up their elders, and jump into their
+estates, for there are no questions asked at these madhouses, but who is
+the paymaster, and how much; give them but their price, mad or not mad,
+it is no matter whom they confine; so that if any person lives longer
+than his relations think convenient, they know their remedy; it is but
+sending them to a madhouse and the estate is their own.
+
+Having answered all that I think liable to objection, and recollected
+what I had omitted, I desire to stand or fall by the judgment of the
+serious part of mankind; wherein they shall correct me I will kiss the
+rod and suffer with patience; but if a pack of hackney scribblers shall
+attack me only by way of a get-penny, I shall not be provoked to answer
+them, be they never so scurrilous, lest I be accounted as one of them.
+
+
+
+
+TO LIEUTENANT-COLONEL SAMUEL ROBINSON.
+
+
+ SIR,
+
+I shall congratulate you on your election into the chamberlainship of
+the city of London, or otherwise, as you shall acquit yourself in
+answering candidly and impartially to the following queries.
+
+I. whether there is not money sufficient in the chamber of London to pay
+off the orphan's fund? Or if not a sufficient sum, what sum it is, and
+what is the deficiency? How long it has lain there, and what interest
+has been made upon it?
+
+II. If there are not considerable arrears due from many wards, and what
+those arrears are?
+
+III. Who are these poor orphans we pay so much money to? and whether
+they are not some of the richest men in the city of London, who have got
+the stock into their own hands, and find it so snug a fund they do not
+care to get out of it.
+
+IV. If it would not be much better to gather in the arrears, join them
+to the money in the office, and collect the overplus at once, rather
+than suffer the tax to become eternal, and to pay so much interest.
+
+This is but a reasonable request; and if colonel Robinson is the honest
+gentleman fame reports him to be, he will make no scruple to give a
+ready answer. And indeed it will be but a handsome return made to his
+fellow citizens for their choice of him, to begin his office with such
+an act of justice, honesty, and public satisfaction, for many people do
+not know what is meant by the orphan's tax; they pay it with remorse,
+and think themselves aggrieved. Even those who know the reason of the
+fund think it has been continued long enough, wish it were once paid
+off, suspect some secret in the affair, and give their tongues the
+liberty all losers claim; Our fathers, say they, have eaten sour grapes,
+and our teeth are set on edge, we are visited for their transgressions,
+and may be to the world's end, unless we shall find an honest
+chamberlain who will unveil this cloudy affair, and gives us a prospect
+of relief.
+
+Thus, sir, it lies at your door to gain the applause of the whole city,
+a few misers excepted, by a generous and gentlemanlike discovery of this
+affair. And you are thus publicly called upon, that your discovery may
+be as public and beneficial to all. If you comply, I shall think you an
+honest man, above a fellow feeling, or being biassed, and most worthy
+your office; if not, give me leave to think, the citizens of London have
+made but an indifferent choice.
+
+ I am,
+ Sir,
+ Yours, as you prove yourself,
+ ANDREW MORETON.
+
+ _Sept. 23,
+ 1728._
+
+
+
+
+ * * * * *
+
+
+
+
+Transcriber's note:
+
+The transcriber made these changes to the text to correct obvious
+errors:
+
+ p. 16, Christain --> Christian
+ p. 26, coachmam --> coachman
+ p. 35, nothwithstanding --> notwithstanding
+ p. 38, sound on alarm --> sound an alarm
+ p. 38, cary --> carry
+
+
+
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