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+The Project Gutenberg EBook of The Big Time, by Fritz Reuter Leiber
+
+This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with
+almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or
+re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included
+with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org
+
+
+Title: The Big Time
+
+Author: Fritz Reuter Leiber
+
+Illustrator: Virgil Finlay
+
+Release Date: May 5, 2010 [EBook #32256]
+
+Language: English
+
+Character set encoding: ASCII
+
+*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE BIG TIME ***
+
+
+
+
+Produced by Greg Weeks, Stephen Blundell and the Online
+Distributed Proofreading Team at https://www.pgdp.net
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+[Illustration]
+
+
+By FRITZ LEIBER
+
+THE BIG TIME
+
+ _You can't know there's a war on--for the Snakes coil and Spiders
+ weave to keep you from knowing it's being fought over your live and
+ dead body!_
+
+Illustrated by FINLAY
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER 1
+
+ When shall we three meet again
+ In thunder, lightning, or in rain?
+
+ When the hurlyburly's done.
+ When the battle's lost and won.
+
+ --Macbeth
+
+ENTER THREE HUSSARS
+
+
+My name is Greta Forzane. Twenty-nine and a party girl would describe
+me. I was born in Chicago, of Scandinavian parents, but now I operate
+chiefly outside space and time--not in Heaven or Hell, if there are such
+places, but not in the cosmos or universe you know either.
+
+I am not as romantically entrancing as the immortal film star who also
+bears my first name, but I have a rough-and-ready charm of my own. I
+need it, for my job is to nurse back to health and kid back to sanity
+Soldiers badly roughed up in the biggest war going. This war is the
+Change War, a war of time travelers--in fact, our private name for being
+in this war is being on the Big Time. Our Soldiers fight by going back
+to change the past, or even ahead to change the future, in ways to help
+our side win the final victory a billion or more years from now. A long
+killing business, believe me.
+
+You don't know about the Change War, but it's influencing your lives all
+the time and maybe you've had hints of it without realizing.
+
+Have you ever worried about your memory, because it doesn't seem to be
+bringing you exactly the same picture of the past from one day to the
+next? Have you ever been afraid that your personality was changing
+because of forces beyond your knowledge or control? Have you ever felt
+sure that sudden death was about to jump you from nowhere? Have you ever
+been scared of Ghosts--not the story-book kind, but the billions of
+beings who were once so real and strong it's hard to believe they'll
+just sleep harmlessly forever? Have you ever wondered about those things
+you may call devils or Demons--spirits able to range through all time
+and space, through the hot hearts of stars and the cold skeleton of
+space between the galaxies? Have you ever thought that the whole
+universe might be a crazy, mixed-up dream? If you have, you've had hints
+of the Change War.
+
+How I got recruited into the Change War, how it's conducted, what the
+two sides are, why you don't consciously know about it, what I really
+think about it--you'll learn in due course.
+
+ * * * * *
+
+The place outside the cosmos where I and my pals do our nursing job I
+simply call the Place. A lot of my nursing consists of amusing and
+humanizing Soldiers fresh back from raids into time. In fact, my formal
+title is Entertainer and I've got my silly side, as you'll find out.
+
+My pals are two other gals and three guys from quite an assortment of
+times and places. We're a pretty good team, and with Sid bossing, we run
+a pretty good Recuperation Station, though we have our family troubles.
+But most of our troubles come slamming into the Place with the beat-up
+Soldiers, who've generally just been going through hell and want to
+raise some of their own. As a matter of fact, it was three newly arrived
+Soldiers who started this thing I'm going to tell you about, this thing
+that showed me so much about myself and everything.
+
+When it started, I had been on the Big Time for a thousand sleeps and
+two thousand nightmares, and working in the Place for five hundred-one
+thousand. This two-nightmares routine every time you lay down your dizzy
+little head is rough, but you pretend to get used to it because being on
+the Big Time is supposed to be worth it.
+
+The Place is midway in size and atmosphere between a large nightclub
+where the Entertainers sleep in and a small Zeppelin hangar decorated
+for a party, though a Zeppelin is one thing we haven't had yet. You go
+out of the Place, but not often if you have any sense and if you are an
+Entertainer like me, into the cold light of a morning filled with
+anything from the earlier dinosaurs to the later spacemen, who look
+strangely similar except for size.
+
+Solely on doctor's orders, I have been on cosmic leave six times since
+coming to work at the Place, meaning I have had six brief vacations, if
+you care to call them that, for believe me they are busman's holidays,
+considering what goes on in the Place all the time. The last one I spent
+in Renaissance Rome, where I got a crush on Cesare Borgia, but I got
+over it. Vacations are for the birds, anyway, because they have to be
+fitted by the Spiders into serious operations of the Change War, and you
+can imagine how restful that makes them.
+
+"See those Soldiers changing the past? You stick along with them. Don't
+go too far up front, though, but don't wander off either. Relax and
+enjoy yourself."
+
+Ha! Now the kind of recuperation Soldiers get when they come to the
+Place is a horse of a far brighter color, simply dazzling by comparison.
+Entertainment is our business and we give them a bang-up time and send
+them staggering happily back into action, though once in a great while
+something may happen to throw a wee shadow on the party.
+
+ * * * * *
+
+I am dead in some ways, but don't let that bother you--I am lively
+enough in others. If you met me in the cosmos, you would be more apt to
+yak with me or try to pick me up than to ask a cop to do same or a
+father to douse me with holy water, unless you are one of those
+hard-boiled reformer types. But you are not likely to meet me in the
+cosmos, because (bar Basin Street and the Prater) 15th Century Italy and
+Augustan Rome--until they spoiled it--are my favorite (Ha!) vacation
+spots and, as I have said, I stick as close to the Place as I can. It is
+really the nicest Place in the whole Change World. (Crisis! I even
+_think_ of it capitalized!)
+
+Anyhoo, when this thing started, I was twiddling my thumbs on the couch
+nearest the piano and thinking it was too late to do my fingernails and
+whoever came in probably wouldn't notice them anyway.
+
+The Place was jumpy like it always is on an approach and the gray velvet
+of the Void around us was curdled with the uneasy lights you see when
+you close your eyes in the dark.
+
+Sid was tuning the Maintainers for the pick-up and the right shoulder of
+his gold-worked gray doublet was streaked where he'd been wiping his
+face on it with quick ducks of his head.
+
+Beauregard was leaning as close as he could over Sid's other shoulder,
+one white-trousered knee neatly indenting the rose plush of the control
+divan, and he wasn't missing a single flicker of Sid's old fingers on
+the dials; Beau's co-pilot besides piano player. Beau's face had that
+dead blank look it must have had when every double eagle he owned and
+more he didn't were riding on the next card to be turned in the gambling
+saloon on one of those wedding-cake Mississippi steamboats.
+
+Doc was soused as usual, sitting at the bar with his top hat pushed back
+and his knitted shawl pulled around him, his wide eyes seeing whatever
+horrors a life in Nazi-occupied Czarist Russia can add to being a drunk
+Demon in the Change World.
+
+Maud, who is the Old Girl, and Lili--the New Girl, of course--were
+telling the big beads of their identical pearl necklaces.
+
+You might say that all us Entertainers were a bit edgy; being Demons
+doesn't automatically make us brave.
+
+Then the red telltale on the Major Maintainer went out and the Door
+began to darken in the Void facing Sid and Beau, and I felt Change Winds
+blowing hard and my heart missed a couple of beats, and the next thing
+three Soldiers had stepped out of the cosmos and into the Place, their
+first three steps hitting the floor hard as they changed times and
+weights.
+
+ * * * * *
+
+They were dressed as officers of hussars, as we'd been advised,
+and--praise the Bonny Dew!--I saw that the first of them was Erich, my
+own dear little commandant, the pride of the von Hohenwalds and the
+Terror of the Snakes. Behind him was some hard-faced Roman or other, and
+beside Erich and shouldering into him as they stamped forward was a new
+boy, blond, with a face like a Greek god who's just been touring a
+Christian hell.
+
+They were uniformed exactly alike in black--shakos, fur-edged pelisses,
+boots, and so forth--with white skull emblems on the shakos. The only
+difference between them was that Erich had a Caller on his wrist and the
+New Boy had a black-gauntleted glove on his left hand and was clenching
+the mate in it, his right hand being bare like both of Erich's and the
+Roman's.
+
+"You've made it, lads, hearts of gold," Sid boomed at them, and Beau
+twitched a smile and murmured something courtly and Maud began to chant,
+"Shut the Door!" and the New Girl copied her and I joined in because the
+Change Winds do blow like crazy when the Door is open, even though it
+can't ever be shut tight enough to keep them from leaking through.
+
+"Shut it before it blows wrinkles in our faces," Maud called in her
+gamin voice to break the ice, looking like a skinny teen-ager in the
+tight, knee-length frock she'd copied from the New Girl.
+
+But the three Soldiers weren't paying attention. The Roman--I remembered
+his name was Mark--was blundering forward stiffly as if there were
+something wrong with his eyes, while Erich and the New Boy were yelling
+at each other about a kid and Einstein and a summer palace and a bloody
+glove and the Snakes having booby-trapped Saint Petersburg. Erich had
+that taut sadistic smile he gets when he wants to hit me.
+
+The New Boy was in a tearing rage. "Why'd you pull us out so bloody
+fast? We fair chewed the Nevsky Prospekt to pieces galloping away."
+
+"Didn't you feel their stun guns, _Dummkopf_, when they sprung the
+trap--too soon, _Gott sei Dank_?" Erich demanded.
+
+"I did," the New Boy told him. "Not enough to numb a cat. Why didn't you
+show us action?"
+
+"Shut up. I'm your leader. I'll show you action enough."
+
+"You won't. You're a filthy Nazi coward."
+
+"_Weibischer Englaender!_"
+
+"Bloody Hun!"
+
+"_Schlange!_"
+
+The blond lad knew enough German to understand that last crack. He threw
+back his sable-edged pelisse to clear his sword arm and he swung away
+from Erich, which bumped him into Beau. At the first sign of the
+quarrel, Beau had raised himself from the divan as quickly and silently
+as a--no, I won't use that word--and slithered over to them.
+
+"Sirs, you forget yourselves," he said sharply, off balance, supporting
+himself on the New Boy's upraised arm. "This is Sidney Lessingham's
+Place of Entertainment and Recuperation. There are ladies--"
+
+ * * * * *
+
+With a contemptuous snarl, the New Boy shoved him off and snatched with
+his bare hand for his saber. Beau reeled against the divan, it caught
+him in the shins and he fell toward the Maintainers. Sid whisked them
+out of the way as if they were a couple of beach radios--simply nothing
+in the Place is nailed down--and had them back on the coffee table
+before Beau hit the floor. Meanwhile, Erich had his saber out and had
+parried the New Boy's first wild slash and lunged in return, and I heard
+the scream of steel and the rutch of his boot on the diamond-studded
+pavement.
+
+ * * * * *
+
+Beau rolled over and came up pulling from the ruffles of his shirt bosom
+a derringer I knew was some other weapon in disguise--a stun gun or even
+an Atropos. Besides scaring me damp for Erich and everybody, that
+brought me up short: us Entertainers' nerves must be getting as naked as
+the Soldiers', probably starting when the Spiders canceled all cosmic
+leaves twenty sleeps back.
+
+Sid shot Beau his look of command, rapped out, "I'll handle this, you
+whoreson firebrand," and turned to the Minor Maintainer. I noticed that
+the telltale on the Major was glowing a reassuring red again, and I
+found a moment to thank Mamma Devi that the Door was shut.
+
+Maud was jumping up and down, cheering I don't know which--nor did she,
+I bet--and the New Girl was white and I saw that the sabers were working
+more businesslike. Erich's flicked, flicked, flicked again and came away
+from the blond lad's cheek spilling a couple of red drops. The blond lad
+lunged fiercely, Erich jumped back, and the next moment they were both
+floating helplessly in the air, twisting like they had cramps.
+
+I realized quick enough that Sid had shut off gravity in the Door and
+Stores sectors of the Place, leaving the rest of us firm on our feet in
+the Refresher and Surgery sectors. The Place has sectional gravity to
+suit our Extraterrestrial buddies--those crazy ETs sometimes come
+whooping in for recuperation in very mixed batches.
+
+From his central position, Sid called out, kindly enough but taking no
+nonsense, "All right, lads, you've had your fun. Now sheathe those
+swords."
+
+For a second or so, the two black hussars drifted and contorted. Erich
+laughed harshly and neatly obeyed--the commandant is used to free fall.
+The blond lad stopped writhing, hesitated while he glared upside down at
+Erich and managed to get his saber into its scabbard, although he turned
+a slow somersault doing it. Then Sid switched on their gravity, slow
+enough so they wouldn't get sprained landing.
+
+ * * * * *
+
+Erich laughed, lightly this time, and stepped out briskly toward us. He
+stopped to clap the New Boy firmly on the shoulder and look him in the
+face.
+
+"So, now you get a good scar," he said.
+
+The other didn't pull away, but he didn't look up and Erich came on. Sid
+was hurrying toward the New Boy, and as he passed Erich, he wagged a
+finger at him and gayly said, "You rogue." Next thing I was giving Erich
+my "Man, you're home" hug and he was kissing me and cracking my ribs and
+saying, "_Liebchen! Doppchen!_"--which was fine with me because I do
+love him and I'm a good lover and as much a Doubleganger as he is.
+
+We had just pulled back from each other to get a breath--his blue eyes
+looked so sweet in his worn face--when there was a thud behind us. With
+the snapping of the tension, Doc had fallen off his bar stool and his
+top hat was over his eyes. As we turned to chuckle at him, Maud squeaked
+and we saw that the Roman had walked straight up against the Void and
+was marching along there steadily without gaining a foot, like it does
+happen, his black uniform melting into that inside-your-head gray.
+
+Maud and Beau rushed over to fish him back, which can be tricky. The
+thin gambler was all courtly efficiency again. Sid supervised from a
+distance.
+
+"What's wrong with him?" I asked Erich.
+
+He shrugged. "Overdue for Change Shock. And he was nearest the stun
+guns. His horse almost threw him. _Mein Gott_, you should have seen
+Saint Petersburg, _Liebchen_: the Nevsky Prospekt, the canals flying by
+like reception carpets of blue sky, a cavalry troop in blue and gold
+that blundered across our escape, fine women in furs and ostrich plumes,
+a monk with a big tripod and his head under a hood--it gave me the
+horrors seeing all those Zombies flashing past and staring at me in that
+sick unawakened way they have, and knowing that some of them, say the
+photographer, might be Snakes."
+
+Our side in the Change War is the Spiders, the other side is the Snakes,
+though all of us--Spiders and Snakes alike--are Doublegangers and Demons
+too, because we're cut out of our lifelines in the cosmos. Your lifeline
+is all of you from birth to death. We're Doublegangers because we can
+operate both in the cosmos and outside of it, and Demons because we act
+reasonably alive while doing so--which the Ghosts don't. Entertainers
+and Soldiers are all Demon-Doublegangers, whichever side they're
+on--though they say the Snake Places are simply ghastly. Zombies are
+dead people whose lifelines lie in the so-called past.
+
+ * * * * *
+
+"What were you doing in Saint Petersburg before the ambush?" I asked
+Erich. "That is, if you can talk about it."
+
+"Why not? We were kidnapping the infant Einstein back from the Snakes in
+1883. Yes, the Snakes got him, _Liebchen_, only a few sleeps back,
+endangering the West's whole victory over Russia--"
+
+"--which gave your dear little Hitler the world on a platter for fifty
+years and got me loved to death by your sterling troops in the
+Liberation of Chicago--"
+
+"--but which leads to the ultimate victory of the Spiders and the West
+over the Snakes and Communism, _Liebchen_, remember that. Anyway, our
+counter-snatch didn't work. The Snakes had guards posted--most unusual
+and we weren't warned. The whole thing was a great mess. No wonder Bruce
+lost his head--not that it excuses him."
+
+"The New Boy?" I asked. Sid hadn't got to him and he was still standing
+with hooded eyes where Erich had left him, a dark pillar of shame and
+rage.
+
+"_Ja_, a lieutenant from World War One. An Englishman."
+
+"I gathered that," I told Erich. "Is he really effeminate?"
+
+"_Weibischer?_" He smiled. "I had to call him something when he said I
+was a coward. He'll make a fine Soldier--only needs a little more
+shaping."
+
+"You men are so original when you spat." I lowered my voice. "But you
+shouldn't have gone on and called him a Snake, Erich mine."
+
+"_Schlange?_" The smile got crooked. "Who knows--about any of us? As
+Saint Petersburg showed me, the Snakes' spies are getting cleverer than
+ours." The blue eyes didn't look sweet now. "Are you, _Liebchen_, really
+nothing more than a good loyal Spider?"
+
+"Erich!"
+
+"All right, I went too far--with Bruce and with you too. We're all
+hacked these days, riding with one leg over the breaking edge."
+
+Maud and Beau were supporting the Roman to a couch, Maud taking most of
+his weight, with Sid still supervising and the New Boy still sulking by
+himself. The New Girl should have been with him, of course, but I
+couldn't see her anywhere and I decided she was probably having a
+nervous breakdown in the Refresher, the little jerk.
+
+"The Roman looks pretty bad, Erich," I said.
+
+"Ah, Mark's tough. Got virtue, as his people say. And our little
+starship girl will bring him back to life if anybody can and if ..."
+
+"... you call this living," I filled in dutifully.
+
+ * * * * *
+
+He was right. Maud had fifty-odd years of psychomedical experience, 23rd
+Century at that. It should have been Doc's job, but that was fifty
+drunks back.
+
+"Maud and Mark, that will be an interesting experiment," Erich said.
+"Reminiscent of Goering's with the frozen men and the naked gypsy
+girls."
+
+"You are a filthy Nazi. She'll be using electrophoresis and deep
+suggestion, if I know anything."
+
+"How will you be able to know anything, _Liebchen_, if she switches on
+the couch curtains, as I perceive she is preparing to do?"
+
+"Filthy Nazi I said and meant."
+
+"Precisely." He clicked his heels and bowed a millimeter. "Erich
+Friederich von Hohenwald, _Oberleutnant_ in the army of the Third Reich.
+Fell at Narvik, where he was Recruited by the Spiders. Lifeline
+lengthened by a Big Change after his first death and at latest report
+Commandant of Toronto, where he maintains extensive baby farms to
+provide him with breakfast meat, if you believe the handbills of the
+_voyageurs_ underground. At your service."
+
+"Oh, Erich, it's all so lousy," I said, touching his hand, reminded that
+he was one of the unfortunates Resurrected from a point in their
+lifelines well before their deaths--in his case, because the date of his
+death had been shifted forward by a Big Change after his Resurrection.
+And as every Demon finds out, if he can't imagine it beforehand, it is
+pure hell to remember your future, and the shorter the time between your
+Resurrection and your death back in the cosmos, the better. Mine, bless
+Bab-ed-Din, was only an action-packed ten minutes on North Clark Street.
+
+Erich put his other hand lightly over mine. "Fortunes of the Change War,
+_Liebchen_. At least I'm a Soldier and sometimes assigned to future
+operations--though why we should have this monomania about our future
+personalities back there, I don't know. Mine is a stupid _Oberst_, thin
+as paper--and frightfully indignant at the _voyageurs_! But it helps me
+a little if I see him in perspective and at least I get back to the
+cosmos pretty regularly, _Gott sei Dank_, so I'm better off than you
+Entertainers."
+
+I didn't say aloud that a Changing cosmos is worse than none, but I
+found myself sending a prayer to the Bonny Dew for my father's repose,
+that the Change Winds would blow lightly across the lifeline of Anton A.
+Forzane, professor of physiology, born in Norway and buried in Chicago.
+Woodlawn Cemetery is a nice gray spot.
+
+"That's all right, Erich," I said. "We Entertainers Got Mittens too."
+
+He scowled around at me suspiciously, as if he were wondering whether I
+had all my buttons on.
+
+"Mittens?" he said. "What do you mean? I'm not wearing any. Are you
+trying to say something about Bruce's gloves--which incidentally seem to
+annoy him for some reason. No, seriously, Greta, why do you Entertainers
+need mittens?"
+
+"Because we get cold feet sometimes. At least I do. Got Mittens, as I
+say."
+
+ * * * * *
+
+A sickly light dawned in his Prussian puss. He muttered, "Got mittens
+... _Gott mit uns_ ... God with us," and roared softly, "Greta, I don't
+know how I put up with you, the way you murder a great language for
+cheap laughs."
+
+"You've got to take me as I am," I told him, "mittens and all, thank the
+Bonny Dew--" and hastily explained, "That's French--_le bon Dieu_--the
+good God--don't hit me. I'm not going to tell you any more of my
+secrets."
+
+He laughed feebly, like he was dying.
+
+"Cheer up," I said. "I won't be here forever, and there are worse places
+than the Place."
+
+He nodded grudgingly, looking around. "You know what, Greta, if you'll
+promise not to make some dreadful joke out of it: on operations, I
+pretend I'll soon be going backstage to court the world-famous ballerina
+Greta Forzane."
+
+He was right about the backstage part. The Place is a regular
+theater-in-the-round with the Void for an audience, the Void's gray
+hardly disturbed by the screens masking Surgery (Ugh!), Refresher and
+Stores. Between the last two are the bar and kitchen and Beau's piano.
+Between Surgery and the sector where the Door usually appears are the
+shelves and taborets of the Art Gallery. The control divan is stage
+center. Spaced around at a fair distance are six big low couches--one
+with its curtains now shooting up into the gray--and a few small tables.
+It is like a ballet set and the crazy costumes and characters that turn
+up don't ruin the illusion. By no means. Diaghilev would have hired most
+of them for the Ballet Russe on first sight, without even asking them
+whether they could keep time to music.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER 2
+
+ Last week in Babylon,
+ Last night in Rome,
+
+ --Hodgson
+
+A RIGHT-HAND GLOVE
+
+
+Beau had gone behind the bar and was talking quietly at Doc, but with
+his eyes elsewhere, looking very sallow and professional in his white,
+and I thought--Damballa!--I'm in the French Quarter. I couldn't see the
+New Girl. Sid was at last getting to the New Boy after the fuss about
+Mark. He threw me a sign and I started over with Erich in tow.
+
+"Welcome, sweet lad. Sidney Lessingham's your host, and a fellow
+Englishman. Born in King's Lynn, 1564, schooled at Cambridge, but London
+was the life and death of me, though I outlasted Bessie, Jimmie,
+Charlie, and Ollie almost. And what a life! By turns a clerk, a spy, a
+bawd--the two trades are hand in glove--a poet of no account, a beggar,
+and a peddler of resurrection tracts. Beau Lassiter, our throats are
+tinder!"
+
+At the word "poet," the New Boy looked up, but resentfully, as if he had
+been tricked into it.
+
+"And to spare your throat for drinking, sweet gallant, I'll be so bold
+as to guess and answer one of your questions," Sid rattled on. "Yes, I
+knew Will Shakespeare--we were of an age--and he was such a modest,
+mind-your-business rogue that we all wondered whether he really did
+write those plays. Your pardon, 'faith, but that scratch might be looked
+to."
+
+Then I saw that the New Girl hadn't lost her head, but gone to Surgery
+(Ugh!) for a first-aid tray. She reached a swab toward the New Boy's
+sticky cheek, saying rather shrilly, "If I might ..."
+
+Her timing was bad. Sid's last words and Erich's approach had darkened
+the look in the young Soldier's face and he angrily swept her arm aside
+without even glancing at her. Erich squeezed my arm. The tray clattered
+to the floor--and one of the drinks that Beau was bringing almost
+followed it. Ever since the New Girl's arrival, Beau had been figuring
+that she was his responsibility, though I don't think the two of them
+had reached an agreement yet. Beau was especially set on it because I
+was thick with Sid at the time and Maud with Doc, she loving tough
+cases.
+
+"Easy now, lad, and you love me!" Sid thundered, again shooting Beau the
+"Hold it" look. "She's just a poor pagan trying to comfort you. Swallow
+your bile, you black villain, and perchance it will turn to poetry. Ah,
+did I touch you there? Confess, you are a poet."
+
+ * * * * *
+
+There isn't much gets by Sid, though for a second I forgot my psychology
+and wondered if he knew what he was doing with his insights.
+
+"Yes, I'm a poet, all right," the New Boy roared. "I'm Bruce Marchant,
+you bloody Zombies. I'm a poet in a world where even the lines of the
+King James and your precious Will whom you use for laughs aren't safe
+from Snakes' slime and the Spiders' dirty legs. Changing our history,
+stealing our certainties, claiming to be so blasted all-knowing and best
+intentioned and efficient, and what does it lead to? This bloody SI
+glove!"
+
+He held up his black-gloved left hand which still held the mate and he
+shook it.
+
+"What's wrong with the Spider Issue gauntlet, heart of gold?" Sid
+demanded. "And you love us, tell us." While Erich laughed, "Consider
+yourself lucky, _Kamerad_. Mark and I didn't draw any gloves at all."
+
+"What's wrong with it?" Bruce yelled. "The bloody things are both
+lefts!" He slammed it down on the floor.
+
+We all howled, we couldn't help it. He turned his back on us and stamped
+off, though I guessed he would keep out of the Void. Erich squeezed my
+arm and said between gasps, "_Mein Gott, Liebchen_, what have I always
+told you about Soldiers? The bigger the gripe, the smaller the cause! It
+is infallible!"
+
+One of us didn't laugh. Ever since the New Girl heard the name Bruce
+Marchant, she'd had a look in her eyes like she'd been given the
+sacrament. I was glad she'd got interested in something, because she'd
+been pretty much of a snoot and a wet blanket up until now, although
+she'd come to the Place with the recommendation of having been a real
+whoopee girl in London and New York in the Twenties. She looked
+disapprovingly at us as she gathered up the tray and stuff, not
+forgetting the glove, which she placed on the center of the tray like a
+holy relic.
+
+ * * * * *
+
+Beau cut over and tried to talk to her, but she ghosted past him and
+once again he couldn't do anything because of the tray in his hands. He
+came over and got rid of the drinks quick. I took a big gulp right away
+because I saw the New Girl stepping through the screen into Surgery and
+I hate to be reminded we have it and I'm glad Doc is too drunk to use
+it, some of the Arachnoid surgical techniques being very sickening as I
+know only too well from a personal experience that is number one on my
+list of things to be forgotten.
+
+By that time, Bruce had come back to us, saying in a carefully hard
+voice, "Look here, it's not the dashed glove itself, as you very well
+know, you howling Demons."
+
+"What is it then, noble heart?" Sid asked, his grizzled gold beard
+heightening the effect of innocent receptivity.
+
+"It's the principle of the thing," Bruce said, looking around sharply,
+but none of us cracked a smile. "It's this mucking inefficiency and
+death of the cosmos--and don't tell me that isn't in the
+cards!--masquerading as benign omniscient authority. The Spiders--and we
+don't know who they are ultimately; it's just a name; we see only agents
+like ourselves--the Spiders pluck us from the quiet graves of our
+lifelines--"
+
+"Is that bad, lad?" Sid murmured, innocently straight-faced.
+
+"--and Resurrect us if they can and then tell us we must fight another
+time-traveling power called the Snakes--just a name, too--which is bent
+on perverting and enslaving the whole cosmos, past, present and future."
+
+"And isn't it, lad?"
+
+"Before we're properly awake, we're Recruited into the Big Time and
+hustled into tunnels and burrows outside our space-time, these miserable
+closets, gray sacks, puss pockets--no offense to this Place--that the
+Spiders have created, maybe by gigantic implosions, but no one knows for
+certain, and then we're sent off on all sorts of missions into the past
+and future to change history in ways that are supposed to thwart the
+Snakes."
+
+"True, lad."
+
+"And from then on, the pace is so flaming hot and heavy, the shocks come
+so fast, our emotions are wrenched in so many directions, our public and
+private metaphysics distorted so insanely, the deepest thread of reality
+we cling to tied in such bloody knots, that we never can get things
+straight."
+
+"We've all felt that way, lad," Sid said soberly; Beau nodded his sleek
+death's head; "You should have seen me, _Kamerad_, my first fifty
+sleeps," Erich put in; while I added, "Us girls, too, Bruce."
+
+"Oh, I know I'll get hardened to it, and don't think I can't. It's not
+that," Bruce said harshly. "And I wouldn't mind the personal confusion,
+the mess it's made of my spirit, I wouldn't even mind remaking history
+and destroying priceless, once-called imperishable beauties of the past,
+if I felt it were for the best. The Spiders assure us that, to thwart
+the Snakes, it is all-important that the West ultimately defeat the
+East. But what have they done to achieve this? I'll give you some
+beautiful examples. To stabilize power in the early Mediterranean world,
+they have built up Crete at the expense of Greece, making Athens a ghost
+city, Plato a trivial fabulist, and putting all Greek culture in a minor
+key."
+
+ * * * * *
+
+"You got time for culture?" I heard myself say and I clapped my hand
+over my mouth in gentle reproof.
+
+"But _you_ remember the dialogues, lad," Sid observed. "And rail not at
+Crete--I have a sweet Keftian friend."
+
+"For how long will I remember Plato's dialogues? And who after me?"
+Bruce challenged. "Here's another. The Spiders want Rome powerful and,
+to date, they've helped Rome so much that she collapses in a blaze of
+German and Parthian invasions a few years after the death of Julius
+Caesar."
+
+This time it was Beau who butted in. Most everybody in the Place loves
+these bull sessions. "You omit to mention, sir, that Rome's newest
+downfall is directly due to the Unholy Triple Alliance the Snakes have
+fomented between the Eastern Classical World, Mohammedanized
+Christianity, and Marxist Communism, trying to pass the torch of power
+futurewards by way of Byzantium and the Eastern Church, without ever
+letting it pass into the hands of the Spider West. That, sir, is the
+Snakes' Three-Thousand-Year Plan which we are fighting against, striving
+to revive Rome's glories."
+
+"Striving is the word for it," Bruce snapped. "Here's yet another
+example. To beat Russia, the Spiders kept England and America out of
+World War Two, thereby ensuring a German invasion of the New World and
+creating a Nazi empire stretching from the salt mines of Siberia to the
+plantations of Iowa, from Nizhni Novgorod to Kansas City!"
+
+He stopped and my short hairs prickled. Behind me, someone was chanting
+in a weird spiritless voice, like footsteps in hard snow.
+
+"_Salz, Salz, bringe Salz. Kein' Peitsch', gnaedige Herren. Salz, Salz,
+Salz._"
+
+I turned and there was Doc waltzing toward us with little tiny steps,
+bent over so low that the ends of his shawl touched the floor, his head
+crooked up sideways and looking through us.
+
+I knew then, but Erich translated softly. "'Salt, salt, I bring salt. No
+whip, merciful sirs.' He is speaking to my countrymen in their
+language." Doc had spent his last months in a Nazi-operated salt mine.
+
+ * * * * *
+
+He saw us and got up, straightening his top hat very carefully. He
+frowned hard while my heart thumped half a dozen times. Then his face
+slackened, he shrugged his shoulders and muttered, "_Nichevo_."
+
+"And it does not matter, sir," Beau translated, but directing his remark
+at Bruce. "True, great civilizations have been dwarfed or broken by the
+Change War. But others, once crushed in the bud, have bloomed. In the
+1870s, I traveled a Mississippi that had never known Grant's gunboats. I
+studied piano, languages, and the laws of chance under the greatest
+European masters at the University of Vicksburg."
+
+"And you think your pipsqueak steamboat culture is compensation for--"
+Bruce began but, "Prithee none of that, lad," Sid interrupted smartly.
+"Nations are as equal as so many madmen or drunkards, and I'll drink
+dead drunk the man who disputes me. Hear reason: nations are not so puny
+as to shrivel and vanish at the first tampering with their past, no,
+nor with the tenth. Nations are monsters, boy, with guts of iron and
+nerves of brass. Waste not your pity on them."
+
+"True indeed, sir," Beau pressed, cooler and keener for the attack on
+his Greater South. "Most of us enter the Change World with the false
+metaphysic that the slightest change in the past--a grain of dust
+misplaced--will transform the whole future. It is a long while before we
+accept with our minds as well as our intellects the law of the
+Conservation of Reality: that when the past is changed, the future
+changes barely enough to adjust, barely enough to admit the new data.
+The Change Winds meet maximum resistance always. Otherwise the first
+operation in Babylonia would have wiped out New Orleans, Sheffield,
+Stuttgart, and Maud Davies' birthplace on Ganymede!
+
+"Note how the gap left by Rome's collapse was filled by the
+imperialistic and Christianized Germans. Only an expert Demon historian
+can tell the difference in most ages between the former Latin and the
+present Gothic Catholic Church. As you yourself, sir, said of Greece, it
+is as if an old melody were shifted into a slightly different key. In
+the wake of a Big Change, cultures and individuals are transposed, it's
+true, yet in the main they continue much as they were, except for the
+usual scattering of unfortunate but statistically meaningless
+accidents."
+
+"All right, you bloody savants--maybe I pushed my point too far," Bruce
+growled. "But if you want variety, give a thought to the rotten methods
+we use in our wonderful Change War. Poisoning Churchill and Cleopatra.
+Kidnapping Einstein when he's a baby."
+
+"The Snakes did it first," I reminded him.
+
+"Yes, and we copied them. How resourceful does that make us?" he
+retorted, arguing like a woman. "If we need Einstein, why don't we
+Resurrect him, deal with him as a man?"
+
+ * * * * *
+
+Beau said, serving his culture in slightly thicker slices,
+"_Pardonnez-moi_, but when you have enjoyed your status as Doubleganger
+a _soupcon_ longer, you will understand that great men can rarely be
+Resurrected. Their beings are too crystallized, sir, their lifelines too
+tough."
+
+"Pardon me, but I think that's rot. I believe that most great men refuse
+to make the bargain with the Snakes, or with us Spiders either. They
+scorn Resurrection at the price demanded."
+
+"Brother, they ain't that great," I whispered, while Beau glided on
+with, "However that may be, you have accepted Resurrection, sir, and so
+incurred an obligation which you as a gentleman must honor."
+
+"I accepted Resurrection all right," Bruce said, a glare coming into his
+eyes. "When they pulled me out of my line at Passchendaele in '17 ten
+minutes before I died, I grabbed at the offer of life like a drunkard
+grabs at a drink the morning after. But even then I thought I was also
+seizing a chance to undo historic wrongs, work for peace." His voice was
+getting wilder all the time. Just beyond our circle, I noticed the New
+Girl watching him worshipfully. "But what did I find the Spiders wanted
+me for? Only to fight more wars, over and over again, make them crueler
+and stinkinger, cut the swath of death a little wider with each Big
+Change, work our way a little closer to the death of the cosmos."
+
+Sid touched my wrist and, as Bruce raved on, he whispered to me, "What
+kind of ball, think you, will please and so quench this fire-brained
+rogue? And you love me, discover it."
+
+I whispered back without taking my eyes off Bruce either, "I know
+somebody who'll be happy to put on any kind of ball he wants, if he'll
+just notice her."
+
+"The New Girl, sweetling? 'Tis well. This rogue speaks like an angry
+angel. It touches my heart and I like it not."
+
+Bruce was saying hoarsely but loudly, "And so we're sent on operations
+in the past and from each of those operations the Change Winds blow
+futurewards, swiftly or slowly according to the opposition they breast,
+sometimes rippling into each other, and any one of those Winds may shift
+the date of our own death ahead of the date of our Resurrection, so that
+in an instant--even here, outside the cosmos--we may molder and rot or
+crumble to dust and vanish away. The wind with our name in it may leak
+through the Door."
+
+ * * * * *
+
+Faces hardened at that, because it's bad form to mention Change Death,
+and Erich flared out with, "_Halt's Maul, Kamerad!_ There's always
+another Resurrection."
+
+But Bruce didn't keep his mouth shut. He said, "Is there? I know the
+Spiders promise it, but even if they do go back and cut another
+Doubleganger from my lifeline, is he me?" He slapped his chest with his
+bare hand. "I don't think so. And even if he is me, with unbroken
+consciousness, why's he been Resurrected again? Just to refight more
+wars and face more Change Death for the sake of an almighty power--" his
+voice was rising to a climax--"an almighty power so bloody ineffectual,
+it can't furnish one poor Soldier pulled out of the mud of
+Passchendaele, one miserable Change Commando, one Godforsaken Recuperee
+a proper issue of equipment!"
+
+And he held out his bare right hand toward us, fingers spread a little,
+as if it were the most amazing object and most deserving of outraged
+sympathy in the whole world.
+
+The New Girl's timing was perfect. She whisked through us, and before he
+could so much as wiggle the fingers, she whipped a black gauntleted
+glove on it and anyone could see that it fitted his hand perfectly.
+
+This time our laughing beat the other. We collapsed and slopped our
+drinks and pounded each other on the back and then started all over.
+
+"_Ach, der Handschuh, Liebchen!_ Where'd she get it?" Erich gasped in my
+ear.
+
+"Probably just turned the other one inside out--that turns a left into a
+right--I've done it myself," I wheezed, collapsing again at the idea.
+
+"That would put the lining outside," he objected.
+
+"Then I don't know," I said. "We got all sorts of junk in Stores."
+
+"It doesn't matter, _Liebchen_," he assured me. "_Ach, der Handschuh!_"
+
+All through it, Bruce just stood there admiring the glove, moving the
+fingers a little now and then, and the New Girl stood watching him as if
+he were eating a cake she'd baked.
+
+ * * * * *
+
+When the hysteria quieted down, he looked up at her with a big smile.
+"What did you say your name was?"
+
+"Lili," she said, and believe you me, she was Lili to me even in my
+thoughts from then on, for the way she'd handled that lunatic.
+
+"Lilian Foster," she explained. "I'm English also. Mr. Marchant, I've
+read _A Young Man's Fancy_ I don't know how many times."
+
+"You have? It's wretched stuff. From the Dark Ages--I mean my Cambridge
+days. In the trenches, I was working up some poems that were rather
+better."
+
+"I won't hear you say that. But I'd be terribly thrilled to hear the new
+ones. Oh, Mr. Marchant, it was so strange to hear you call it
+Passiondale."
+
+"Why, if I may ask?"
+
+"Because that's the way I pronounce it to myself. But I looked it up and
+it's more like Pas-ken-DA-luh."
+
+"Bless you! All the Tommies called it Passiondale, just as they called
+Ypres Wipers."
+
+"How interesting. You know, Mr. Marchant, I'll wager we were Recruited
+in the same operation, summer of 1917. I'd got to France as a Red Cross
+nurse, but they found out my age and were going to send me back."
+
+"How old were you--are you? Same thing, I mean to say."
+
+"Seventeen."
+
+"Seventeen in '17," Bruce murmured, his blue eyes glassy.
+
+It was real corny dialogue and I couldn't resent the humorous leer Erich
+gave me as we listened to them, as if to say, "Ain't it nice,
+_Liebchen_, Bruce has a silly little English schoolgirl to occupy him
+between operations?"
+
+Just the same, as I watched Lili in her dark bangs and pearl necklace
+and tight little gray dress that reached barely to her knees, and Bruce
+hulking over her tenderly in his snazzy hussar's rig, I knew that I was
+seeing the start of something that hadn't been part of me since Dave
+died fighting Franco years before I got on the Big Time, the sort of
+thing that almost made me wish there could be children in the Change
+World. I wondered why I'd never thought of trying to work things so that
+Dave got Resurrected and I told myself: no, it's all changed, I've
+changed, better the Change Winds don't disturb Dave or I know about it.
+
+"No, I didn't die in 1917--I was merely Recruited then," Lili was
+telling Bruce. "I lived all through the Twenties, as you can see from
+the way I dress. But let's not talk about that, shall we? Oh, Mr.
+Marchant, do you think you can possibly remember any of those poems you
+started in the trenches? I can't fancy them bettering your sonnet that
+concludes with, 'The bough swings in the wind, the night is deep; Look
+at the stars, poor little ape, and sleep.'"
+
+That one almost made me whoop--what monkeys we are, I thought--though
+I'd be the first to admit that the best line to use on a poet is one of
+his own--in fact, as many as possible. I decided I could safely forget
+our little Britons and devote myself to Erich or whatever needed me.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER 3
+
+ Hell is the place for me. For to Hell go the fine churchmen, and the
+ fine knights, killed in the tourney or in some grand war, the brave
+ soldiers and the gallant gentlemen. With them will I go. There go
+ also the fair gracious ladies who have lovers two or three beside
+ their lord. There go the gold and the silver, the sables and ermine.
+ There go the harpers and the minstrels and the kings of the earth.
+
+ --Aucassin
+
+NINE FOR A PARTY
+
+
+I exchanged my drink for a new one from another tray Beau was bringing
+around. The gray of the Void was beginning to look real pleasant, like
+warm thick mist with millions of tiny diamonds floating in it. Doc was
+sitting grandly at the bar with a steaming tumbler of tea--a chaser, I
+guess, since he was just putting down a shot glass. Sid was talking to
+Erich and laughing at the same time and I said to myself it begins to
+feel like a party, but something's lacking.
+
+It wasn't anything to do with the Major Maintainer; its telltale was
+glowing a steady red like a nice little home fire amid the tight cluster
+of dials that included all the controls except the lonely and
+frightening Introversion switch that was never touched. Then Maud's
+couch curtains winked out and there were she and the Roman sitting
+quietly side by side.
+
+He looked down at his shiny boots and the rest of his black duds like he
+was just waking up and couldn't believe it all, and he said, "_Omnia
+mutantur, nos et mutamur in illis_," and I raised my eyebrows at Beau,
+who was taking the tray back, and he did proud by old Vicksburg by
+translating: "All things change and we change with them."
+
+Then Mark slowly looked around at us, and I can testify that a Roman
+smile is just as warm as any other nationality, and he finally said, "We
+are nine, the proper number for a party. The couches, too. It is good."
+
+Maud chuckled proudly and Erich shouted, "Welcome back from the Void,
+_Kamerad_," and then, because he's German and thinks all parties have to
+be noisy and satirically pompous, he jumped on a couch and announced,
+"_Herren und Damen_, permit me to introduce the noblest Roman of them
+all, Marcus Vipsaius Niger, legate to Nero Claudius (called Germanicus
+in a former time stream) and who in 763 A.U.C. (Correct, Mark? It means
+10 A.D., you meatheads!) died bravely fighting the Parthians and the
+Snakes in the Battle of Alexandria. _Hoch, hoch, hoch!_"
+
+ * * * * *
+
+We all swung our glasses and cheered with him and Sid yelled at Erich,
+"Keep your feet off the furniture, you unschooled rogue," and grinned
+and boomed at all three hussars, "Take your ease, Recuperees," and Maud
+and Mark got their drinks, the Roman paining Beau by refusing Falernian
+wine in favor of scotch and soda, and right away everyone was talking a
+mile a minute.
+
+We had a lot to catch up on. There was the usual yak about the war--"The
+Snakes are laying mine fields in the Void," "I don't believe it, how can
+you mine nothing?"--and the shortages--bourbon, bobby pins, and the
+stabilitin that would have brought Mark out of it faster--and what had
+become of people--"Marcia? Oh, she's not around any more," (She'd been
+caught in a Change Gale and green and stinking in five seconds, but I
+wasn't going to say that)--and Mark had to be told about Bruce's glove,
+which convulsed us all over again, and the Roman remembered a legionary
+who had carried a gripe all the way to Octavius because he'd
+accidentally been issued the unbelievable luxury item sugar instead of
+the usual salt, and Erich asked Sid if he had any new Ghostgirls in
+stock and Sid sucked his beard like the old goat he is. "Dost thou ask
+me, lusty Allemand? Nay, there are several great beauties, amongst them
+an Austrian countess from Strauss's Vienna, and if it were not for
+sweetling here ... Mnnnn."
+
+I poked a finger in Erich's chest between two of the bright buttons with
+their tiny death's heads. "You, my little von Hohenwald, are a menace to
+us real girls. You have too much of a thing about the unawakened, ghost
+kind."
+
+He called me his little Demon and hugged me a bit too hard to prove it
+wasn't so, and then he suggested we show Bruce the Art Gallery. I
+thought this was a real brilliant idea, but when I tried to argue him
+out of it, he got stubborn. Bruce and Lili were willing to do anything
+anyone wanted them to, though not so willing to pay any attention while
+doing it. The saber cut was just a thin red line on his cheek; she'd
+washed away all the dried blood.
+
+The Gallery gets you, though. It's a bunch of paintings and sculptures
+and especially odd knick-knacks, all made by Soldiers recuperating here,
+and a lot of them telling about the Change War from the stuff they're
+made of--brass cartridges, flaked flint, bits of ancient pottery glued
+into futuristic shapes, mashed-up Incan gold rebeaten by a Martian,
+whorls of beady Lunan wire, a picture in tempera on a crinkle-cracked
+thick round of quartz that had filled a starship porthole, a Sumerian
+inscription chiseled into a brick from an atomic oven.
+
+ * * * * *
+
+There are a lot of things in the Gallery and I can always find some I
+haven't ever seen before. It gets you, as I say, thinking about the guys
+that made them and their thoughts and the far times and places they came
+from, and sometimes, when I'm feeling low, I'll come and look at them so
+I'll feel still lower and get inspired to kick myself back into a good
+temper. It's the only history of the Place there is and it doesn't
+change a great deal, because the things in it and the feelings that went
+into them resist the Change Winds better than anything else.
+
+Right now, Erich's witty lecture was bouncing off the big ears I hide
+under my pageboy bob and I was thinking how awful it is that for us that
+there's not only change but Change. You don't know from one minute to
+the next whether a mood or idea you've got is really new or just welling
+up into you because the past has been altered by the Spiders or Snakes.
+
+Change Winds can blow not only death but anything short of it, down to
+the featheriest fancy. They blow thousands of times faster than time
+moves, but no one can say how much faster or how far one of them will
+travel or what damage it'll do or how soon it'll damp out. The Big Time
+isn't the little time.
+
+And then, for the Demons, there's the fear that our personality will
+just fade and someone else climb into the driver's seat and us not even
+know. Of course, we Demons are supposed to be able to remember through
+Change and in spite of it; that's why we are Demons and not Ghosts like
+the other Doublegangers, or merely Zombies or Unborn and nothing more,
+and as Beau truly said, there aren't any great men among us--and blamed
+few of the masses, either--we're a rare sort of people and that's why
+the Spiders have to Recruit us where they find us without caring about
+our previous knowledge and background, a Foreign Legion of time, a
+strange kind of folk, bright but always in the background, with built-in
+nostalgia and cynicism, as adaptable as Centaurian shape-changers but
+with memories as long as a Lunan's six arms, a kind of Change People,
+you might say, the cream of the damned.
+
+But sometimes I wonder if our memories are as good as we think they are
+and if the whole past wasn't once entirely different from anything we
+remember, and we've forgotten that we forgot.
+
+As I say, the Gallery gets you feeling real low, and so now I said to
+myself, "Back to your lousy little commandant, kid," and gave myself a
+stiff boot.
+
+Erich was holding up a green bowl with gold dolphins or spaceships on it
+and saying, "And, to my mind, this proves that Etruscan art is derived
+from Egyptian. Don't you agree, Bruce?"
+
+Bruce looked up, all smiles from Lili, and said, "What was that, dear
+chap?"
+
+ * * * * *
+
+Erich's forehead got dark as the Door and I was glad the hussars had
+parked their sabers along with their shakos, but before he could even
+get out a Jerry cussword, Doc breezed up in that plateau-state of
+drunkenness so like hypnotized sobriety, moving as if he were on a
+dolly, ghosted the bowl out of Erich's hand, said, "A beautiful specimen
+of Middle Systemic Venusian. When Eightaitch finished it, he told me you
+couldn't look at it and not feel the waves of the Northern Venusian
+Shallows rippling around your hoofs. But it might look better inverted.
+I wonder. Who are you, young officer? _Nichevo_," and he carefully put
+the bowl back on its shelf and rolled on.
+
+It's a fact that Doc knows the Art Gallery better than any of us, really
+by heart, he being the oldest inhabitant, though he maybe picked a bad
+time to show off his knowledge. Erich was going to take out after him,
+but I said, "Nix, _Kamerad_, remember gloves and sugar," and he
+contented himself with complaining, "That _nichevo_--it's so gloomy and
+hopeless, _ungeheuerlich_. I tell you, _Liebchen_, they shouldn't have
+Russians working for the Spiders, not even as Entertainers."
+
+I grinned at him and squeezed his hand. "Not much entertainment in Doc
+these days, is there?" I agreed.
+
+He grinned back at me a shade sheepishly and his face smoothed and his
+blue eyes looked sweet again for a second and he said, "I shouldn't want
+to claw out at people that way, Greta, but at times I am just a jealous
+old man," which is not entirely true, as he isn't a day over
+thirty-three, although his hair is nearly white.
+
+Our lovers had drifted on a few steps until they were almost fading into
+the Surgery screen. It was the last spot I would have picked for the
+formal preliminaries to a little British smooching, but Lili probably
+didn't share my prejudices, though I remembered she'd told me she'd
+served a brief hitch in an Arachnoid Field Hospital before being
+transferred to the Place.
+
+But she couldn't have had anything like the experience I'd had during my
+short and sour career as a Spider nurse, when I'd acquired my best-hated
+nightmare and flopped completely (jobwise, but on the floor, too) at
+seeing a doctor flick a switch and a being, badly injured but human,
+turn into a long cluster of glistening strange fruit--ugh, it always
+makes me want to toss my cookies and my buttons. And to think that dear
+old Daddy Anton wanted his Greta chile to be a doctor.
+
+ * * * * *
+
+Well, I could see this wasn't getting me anywhere I wanted to go, and
+after all there was a party going on.
+
+Doc was babbling something at a great rate to Sid--I just hoped Doc
+wouldn't get inspired to go into his animal imitations, which sound
+pretty fierce and once seriously offended some recuperating ETs.
+
+Maud was demonstrating to Mark a 23rd Century two-step and Beau sat down
+at the piano and improvised softly on her rhythm.
+
+As the deep-thrumming relaxing notes hit us, Erich's face brightened and
+he dragged me over. Pleasantly soon I had my feet off the diamond-rough
+floor, which we don't carpet because most of the ETs, the dear boys,
+like it hard, and I was shouldering back deep into the couch nearest the
+piano, with cushions all around me and a fresh drink in my hand, while
+my Nazi boy friend was getting ready to discharge his _Weltschmerz_ as
+song, which didn't alarm me too much, as his baritone is passable.
+
+Things felt real good, like the Maintainer was just idling to keep the
+Place in existence and moored to the cosmos, not exerting itself at all
+or at most taking an occasional lazy paddle stroke. At times the Place's
+loneliness can be happy and comfortable.
+
+Then Beau raised an eyebrow at Erich, who nodded, and next thing they
+were launched into a song we all know, though I've never found out where
+it originally came from. This time it made me think of Lili, and I
+wondered why--and why it's a tradition at Recuperation Stations to call
+the new girl Lili, though in this case it happened to be her real name.
+
+ _Standing in the Doorway just outside of space,
+ Winds of Change blow 'round you but don't touch your face;
+ You smile as you whisper tenderly,
+ "Please cross to me, Recuperee;
+ The operation's over, come in and close the Door."_
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER 4
+
+ De Bailhache, Fresca, Mrs. Cammel, whirled
+ Beyond the circuit of the shuddering Bear
+ In fractured atoms.
+
+ --Eliot
+
+SOS FROM NOWHERE
+
+
+I realized the piano had deserted Erich and I cranked my head up and saw
+Beau, Maud and Sid streaking for the control divan. The Major Maintainer
+was blinking emergency-green and fast, but the code was plain enough for
+even me to recognize the Spider distress call and for a second I felt
+just sick. Then Erich blew out his reserve breath in the middle of
+"Door" and I gave myself another of those helpful mental boots at the
+base of the spine and we hurried after them toward the center of the
+Place along with Mark.
+
+The blinks faded as we got there and Sid told us not to move because we
+were making shadows. He glued an eye to the telltale and we held still
+as statues as he caressed the dials like he was making love.
+
+One sensitive hand flicked out past the Introversion switch over to the
+Minor Maintainer and right away the Place was dark as your soul and
+there was nothing for me but Erich's arm and the knowledge that Sid was
+nursing a green light I couldn't even see, although my eyes had plenty
+time to accommodate.
+
+Then the green light finally came back very slowly and I could see the
+dear reliable old face--the green-gold beard making him look like a
+merman--and then the telltale flared bright and Sid flicked on the Place
+lights and I leaned back.
+
+"That nails them, lads, whoever and whenever they may be. Get ready for
+a pick-up."
+
+Beau, who was closest of course, looked at him sharply. Sid shrugged
+uneasily. "Meseemed at first it was from our own globe a thousand years
+before our Lord, but that indication flickered and faded like witchfire.
+As it is, the call comes from something smaller than the Place and
+certes adrift from the cosmos. Meseemed too at one point I knew the fist
+of the caller--an antipodean atomicist named Benson-Carter--but that
+likewise changed."
+
+Beau said, "We're not in the right phase of the cosmos-Places rhythm for
+a pick-up, are we, sir?"
+
+Sid answered, "Ordinarily not, boy."
+
+Beau continued, "I didn't think we had any pick-ups scheduled. Or
+stand-by orders."
+
+Sid said, "We haven't."
+
+Mark's eyes glowed. He tapped Erich on the shoulder. "An octavian
+denarius against ten Reichsmarks it is a Snake trap."
+
+Erich's grin showed his teeth. "Make it first through the Door next
+operation and I'm on."
+
+ * * * * *
+
+It didn't take that to tell me things were serious, or the thought that
+there's always a first time for bumping into something from really
+outside the cosmos. The Snakes have broken our code more than once. Maud
+was quietly serving out weapons and Doc was helping her. Only Bruce and
+Lili stood off. But they were watching.
+
+The telltale brightened. Sid reached toward the Maintainer, saying, "All
+right, my hearties. Remember, through this Doorway pass the fishiest
+finaglers in and out of the cosmos."
+
+The Door appeared to the left and above where it should be and darkened
+much too fast. There was a gust of stale salt seawind, if that makes
+sense, but no stepped-up Change Winds I could tell--and I had been
+bracing myself against them. The Door got inky and there was a flicker
+of gray fur whips and a flash of copper flesh and gilt and something
+dark and a clump of hoofs and Erich was sighting a stun gun across his
+left forearm, and then the Door had vanished like that and a tentacled
+silvery Lunan and a Venusian satyr were coming straight toward us.
+
+The Lunan was hugging a pile of clothes and weapons. The satyr was
+helping a wasp-waisted woman carry a heavy-looking bronze chest. The
+woman was wearing a short skirt and high-collared bolero jacket of
+leather so dark brown it was almost black. She had a two-horned
+_petsofa_ hairdress and she was boldly gilded here and there and wore
+sandals and copper anklets and wristlets--one of them a copper-plated
+Caller--and from her wide copper belt hung a short-handled double-headed
+ax. She was dark-complexioned and her forehead and chin receded, but the
+effect was anything but weak; she had a face like a beautiful
+arrowhead--and a familiar one, by golly!
+
+But before I could say, "Kabysia Labrys," Maud shrilly beat me to it
+with, "It's Kaby with two friends. Break out a couple of Ghostgirls."
+
+And then I saw it really was old-home week because I recognized my Lunan
+boy friend Ilhilihis, and in the midst of all the confusion I got a nice
+kick out of knowing I was getting so I could tell the personality of one
+silver-furred muzzle from another.
+
+They reached the control divan and Illy dumped his load and the others
+let down the chest, and Kaby staggered but shook off the two ETs when
+they started to support her, and she looked daggers at Sid when he tried
+to do the same, although she's his "sweet Keftian friend" he'd mentioned
+to Bruce.
+
+ * * * * *
+
+She leaned straight-armed on the divan and took two gasping breaths so
+deep that the ridges of her spine showed through her brown-skinned
+waist, and then she threw up her head and commanded, "Wine!"
+
+While Beau was rushing it, Sid tried to take her hand again, saying,
+"Sweetling, I'd never heard you call before and knew not this pretty
+little fist," but she ripped out, "Save your comfort for the Lunan," and
+I looked and saw--Hey, Zeus!--that one of Ilhilihis' six tentacles was
+lopped off halfway.
+
+That was for me, and, going to him, I fast briefed myself: "Remember, he
+only weighs fifty pounds for all he's seven feet high; he doesn't like
+low sounds or to be grabbed; the two legs aren't tentacles and don't act
+the same; uses them for long walks, tentacles for leaps; uses tentacles
+for close vision too and for manipulation, of course; extended, they
+mean he's at ease; retracted, on guard or nervous; sharply retracted,
+disgusted; greeting--"
+
+Just then, one of them swept across my face like a sweet-smelling
+feather duster and I said, "Illy, man, it's been a lot of sleeps," and
+brushed my fingers across his muzzle. It still took a little
+self-control not to hug him, and I did reach a little cluckingly for
+his lopped tentacle, but he wafted it away from me and the little
+voice-box belted to his side squeaked, "Naughty, naughty. Papa will fix
+his little old self. Greta girl, ever bandaged even a Terra octopus?"
+
+I had, an intelligent one from around a quarter billion A.D., but I
+didn't tell him so. I stood and let him talk to the palm of my hand with
+one of his tentacles--I don't savvy feather-talk but it feels good,
+though I've often wondered who taught him English--and watched him use a
+couple others to whisk a sort of Lunan band-aid out of his pouch and cap
+his wound with it.
+
+Meanwhile, the satyr knelt over the bronze chest, which was decorated
+with little death's heads and crosses with hoops at the top and
+swastikas, but looking much older than Nazi, and the satyr said to Sid,
+"Quick thinkin, Gov, when ya saw the Door comin in high n soffened up
+gravty unner it, but cud I hav sum hep now?"
+
+Sid touched the Minor Maintainer and we all got very light and my
+stomach did a flip-flop while the satyr piled on the chest the clothes
+and weapons that Illy had been carrying and pranced off with it all and
+carefully put it down at the end of the bar. I decided the satyr's
+English instructor must have been quite a character, too. Wish I'd met
+him--her--it.
+
+Sid thought to ask Illy if he wanted Moon-normal gravity in one sector,
+but my boy likes to mix, and being such a lightweight, Earth-normal
+gravity doesn't bother him. As he said to me once, "Would Jovian gravity
+bother a beetle, Greta girl?"
+
+ * * * * *
+
+I asked Illy about the satyr and he squeaked that his name was Sevensee
+and that he'd never met him before this operation. I knew the satyrs
+were from a billion years in the future, just as the Loonies were from a
+billion in the past, and I thought--Kreesed us!--but it must have been
+a real big or emergency-like operation to have the Spiders using those
+two for it, with two billion years between them--a time-difference that
+gives you a feeling of awe for a second, you know.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+I started to ask Illy about it, but just then Beau came scampering back
+from the bar with a big red-and-black earthenware goblet of wine--we try
+to keep a variety of drinking tools in stock so folks will feel more at
+home. Kaby grabbed it from him and drained most of it in one swallow and
+then smashed it on the floor. She does things like that, though Sid's
+tried to teach her better. Then she stared at what she was thinking
+about until the whites showed all around her eyes and her lips pulled
+way back from her teeth and she looked a lot less human than the two
+ETs, just like a fury. Only a time traveler knows how like the wild
+murals and engravings of them some of the ancients can look.
+
+My hair stood up at the screech she let out. She smashed a fist into the
+divan and cried, "Goddess! Must I see Crete destroyed, revived, and now
+destroyed again? It is too much for your servant."
+
+Personally, I thought she could stand anything.
+
+There was a rush of questions at what she said about Crete--I asked one
+of them, for the news certainly frightened me--but she shot up her arm
+straight for silence and took a deep breath and began.
+
+"In the balance hung the battle. Rowing like black centipedes, the
+Dorian hulls bore down on our outnumbered ships. On the bright beach,
+masked by rocks, Sevensee and I stood by the needle gun, ready to give
+the black hulls silent wounds. Beside us was Ilhilihis, suited as a sea
+monster. But then ... then ..."
+
+Then I saw she wasn't altogether the iron babe, for her voice broke and
+she started to shake and to sob rackingly, although her face was still a
+mask of rage, and she threw up the wine. Sid stepped in and made her
+stop, which I think he'd been wanting to do all along.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER 5
+
+ Whenever I take up a newspaper and read it, I fancy I see ghosts
+ creeping between the lines. There must be ghosts all over the world.
+ They must be as countless as the grains of the sands, it seems to
+ me.
+
+ --Ibsen
+
+SID INSISTS ON GHOSTGIRLS
+
+
+My Elizabethan boy friend put his fists on his hips and laid down the
+law to us as if we were a lot of nervous children who'd been playing too
+hard.
+
+"Look you, masters, this is a Recuperation Station and I am running it
+as such. A plague of all operations! I care not if the frame of things
+disjoints and the whole Change World goes to ruin, but you, warrior
+maid, are going to rest and drink more wine slowly before you tell your
+tale and your colleagues are going to be properly companioned. No
+questions, anyone. Beau, and you love us, give us a lively tune."
+
+Kaby relaxed a little and let him put his hand carefully against her
+back in token of support and she said grudgingly, "All right, Fat
+Belly."
+
+Then, so help me, to the tune of the Muskrat Ramble, which I'd taught
+Beau, we got girls for those two ETs and everybody properly paired up.
+
+Right here I want to point out that a lot of the things they say in the
+Change World about Recuperation Stations simply aren't so--and anyway
+they always leave out nine-tenths of it. The Soldiers that come through
+the Door are looking for a good time, sure, but they're hurt real bad
+too, every one of them, deep down in their minds and hearts, if not
+always in their bodies or so you can see it right away.
+
+Believe me, a temporal operation is no joke, and to start with, there
+isn't one person in a hundred who can endure to be cut from his lifeline
+and become a really wide-awake Doubleganger--a Demon, that is--let alone
+a Soldier. What does a badly hurt and mixed-up creature need who's been
+fighting hard? _One individual_ to look out for him and feel for him and
+patch him up, and it helps if the one is of the opposite sex--that's
+something that goes beyond species.
+
+There's your basis for the Place and the wild way it goes about its
+work, and also for most other Recuperation Stations or Entertainment
+Spots. The name Entertainer can be misleading, but I like it. She's got
+to be a lot more than a good party girl--or boy--though she's got to be
+that too. She's got to be a nurse and a psychologist and an actress and
+a mother and a practical ethnologist and a lot of things with longer
+names--and a reliable friend.
+
+ * * * * *
+
+None of us are all those things perfectly or even near it. We just try.
+But when the call comes, Entertainers have to forget grudges and gripes
+and envies and jealousies--and remember, they're lively people with
+sharp emotions--because there isn't any time then for anything but _help
+and don't ask who_!
+
+And, deep inside her, a good Entertainer doesn't care who. Take the way
+it shaped up this time. It was pretty clear to me I ought to shift to
+Illy, although I wasn't quite easy in my mind about leaving Erich,
+because the Lunan was a long time from home and, after all, Erich was
+among anthropoids. Ilhilihis needed someone who was _simpatico_.
+
+I like Illy and not just because he is a sort of tall cross between a
+spider monkey and a persian cat--though that is a handsome combo when
+you come to think of it. I like him for himself. So when he came in all
+lopped and shaky after a mean operation, I was the right person to look
+out for him. Now I've made my little speech and know-nothings in the
+Change World can go on making their bum jokes. But I ask you, how could
+an arrangement between Illy and me be anything but Platonic?
+
+We might have had some octopoid girls and nymphs in stock--Sid couldn't
+be sure until he checked--but Ilhilihis and Sevensee voted for real
+people and I knew Sid saw it their way. Maud squeezed Mark's hand and
+tripped over to Sevensee ("Those are sharp hoofs you got, man"--she's
+picked up some of my language, like she has everything else), though
+Beau did frown over his shoulder at Lili from the piano, maybe to argue
+that she ought to take on the ET, as Mark had been a real casualty and
+could use live nursing. But it was plain as day to anybody but Beau that
+Bruce and Lili were a big thing and the last to be disturbed.
+
+Erich acted stiffly hurt at losing me, but I knew he wasn't. He thinks
+he has a great technique with Ghostgirls and he likes to show it off,
+and he really is pretty slick at it, if you go for that sort of thing
+and--yang my yin!--who doesn't at times?
+
+And when Sid formally wafted the Countess out of Stores--a real blonde
+stunner in a white satin hobble skirt with a white egret swaying up from
+her tiny hat, way ahead of Maud and Lili and me when it came to looks,
+though transparent as cigarette smoke--and when Erich clicked his heels
+and bowed over her hand and proudly conducted her to a couch, black
+Svengali to her Trilby, and started to German-talk some life into her
+with much head cocking and toothy smiling and a flow of witty flattery,
+and when she began to flirt back and the dream look in her eyes
+sharpened hungrily and focused on him--well, then I knew that Erich was
+happy and felt he was doing proud by the _Reichswehr_. No, my little
+commandant wasn't worrying me on that score.
+
+ * * * * *
+
+Mark had drawn a Greek hetaera, name of Phryne; I suppose not the one
+who maybe still does the famous courtroom striptease back in Athens, and
+he was waking her up with little sips of his scotch and soda, though,
+from some looks he'd flashed, I got the idea Kaby was the kid he really
+went for. Sid was coaxing the fighting gal to take some high-energy
+bread and olives along with the wine, and, for a wonder, Doc seemed to
+be carrying on an animated and rational conversation with Sevensee and
+Maud, maybe comparing notes on the Northern Venusian Shallows, and Beau
+had got on to Panther Rag, and Bruce and Lili were leaning on the piano,
+smiling very appreciatively, but talking to each other a mile a minute.
+
+Illy turned back from inspecting them all and squeaked, "Animals with
+clothes are so refreshing, dahling! Like you're all carrying banners!"
+
+Maybe he had something there, though my banners were kind of Ash
+Wednesday, a charcoal gray sweater and skirt. He looked at my mouth with
+a tentacle to see how I was smiling and he squeaked softly, "Do I seem
+dull and commonplace to you, Greta girl, because I haven't got banners?
+Just another Zombie from a billion years in your past, as gray and
+lifeless as Luna is today, not as when she was a real dreamy sister
+planet simply bursting with air and water and feather forests. Or am I
+as strangely interesting to you as you are to me, girl from a billion
+years in my future?"
+
+"Illy, you're sweet," I told him, giving him a little pat. I noticed his
+fur was still vibrating nervously and I decided the heck with Sid's
+orders, I'm going to pump him about what he was doing with Kaby and the
+satyr. Couldn't have him a billion years from home and bottled up, too.
+Besides, I was curious.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER 6
+
+ Maiden, Nymph, and Mother are the eternal royal Trinity of the
+ island, and the Goddess, who is worshipped there in each of these
+ aspects, as New Moon, Full Moon, and Old Moon, is the sovereign
+ Deity.
+
+ --Graves
+
+CRETE CIRCA 1300 B.C.
+
+
+Kaby pushed back at Sid some seconds of bread and olives, and, when he
+raised his bushy eyebrows, gave him a curt nod that meant she knew what
+she was doing. She stood up and sort of took a position. All the talk
+quieted down fast, even Bruce's and Lili's. Kaby's face and voice
+weren't strained now, but they weren't relaxed either.
+
+"Woe to Spider! Woe to Cretan! Heavy is the news I bring you. Bear it
+bravely, like strong women. When we got the gun unlimbered, I heard
+seaweed fry and crackle. We three leaped behind the rock wall, saw our
+gun grow white as sunlight in a heat-ray of the Serpents! Natch, we
+feared we were outnumbered and I called upon my Caller."
+
+[Illustration]
+
+I don't know how she does it, but she does--in English too. That is,
+when she figures she's got something important to report, and maybe she
+needs a little time to get ready.
+
+Beau claims that all the ancients fit their thoughts into measured lines
+as naturally as we pick a word that will do, but I'm not sure how good
+the Vicksburg language department is. Though why I should wonder about
+things like that when I've got Kaby spouting the stuff right in front of
+me, I don't know.
+
+"But I didn't die there, kiddos. I still hoped to hurt the Greek ships,
+maybe with the Snake's own heat gun. So I quick tried to outflank them.
+My two comrades crawled beside me--they are males, but they have
+courage. Soon we spied the ambush-setters. They were Snakes and they
+were many, filthily disguised as Cretans."
+
+There was an indignant murmur at this, for our cutthroat Change War has
+its code, the Soldiers tell me. Being an Entertainer, I don't have to
+say what I think.
+
+"They had seen us when we saw them," Kaby swept on, "and they loosed a
+killing volley. Heat- and knife-rays struck about us in a storm of wind
+and fire, and the Lunan lost a feeler, fighting for Crete's Triple
+Goddess. So we dodged behind a sand hill, steered our flight back toward
+the water. It was awful, what we saw there: Crete's brave ships all sunk
+or sinking, blue sky sullied by their death-smoke. Once again the Greeks
+had licked us!--aided by the filthy Serpents.
+
+"Round our wrecks, their black ships scurried, like black beetles, filth
+their diet, yet this day they dine on heroes. On the quiet sunlit beach
+there, I could feel a Change Gale blowing, working changes deep inside
+me, aches and pains that were a stranger's. Half my memories were
+doubled, half my lifeline crooked and twisted, three new moles upon my
+sword-hand. Goddess, Goddess, Triple Goddess--"
+
+ * * * * *
+
+Her voice wavered and Sid reached out a hand, but she straightened her
+back.
+
+"Triple Goddess, give me courage to tell everything that happened. We
+ran down into the water, hoping to escape by diving. We had hardly
+gotten under when the heat-rays hit above us, turning all the cool green
+surface to a roaring white inferno. But as I believe I told you, I was
+calling on my Caller, and a Door now opened to us, deep below the deadly
+steam-clouds. We dived in like frightened minnows and a lot of water
+with us."
+
+Off Chicago's Gold Coast, Dave once gave me a lesson in skin-diving and,
+remembering it, I got a flash of Kaby's Door in the dark depths.
+
+"For a moment, all was chaos. Then the Door slammed shut behind us. We'd
+been picked up in time's nick by--an Express Room of our
+Spiders!--sloshing two feet deep in water, much more cramped for space
+than this Place. It was manned by a magician, an old coot named
+Benson-Carter. He dispelled the water quickly and reported on his
+Caller. We'd got dry, were feeling human, Illy here had shed his
+swimsuit, when we looked at the Maintainer. It was glowing, changing,
+melting! And when Benson-Carter touched it, he fell backward--death was
+in him. Then the Void began to darken, narrow, shrink and close around
+us, so I called upon my Caller--without wasting time, let me tell you!
+
+"We can't say for sure what was it slowly squeezed that sweet Express
+Room, but we fear the dirty Snakes have found a way to find our Places
+and attack outside the cosmos!--found the Spiderweb that links us in the
+Void's gray less-than-nothing."
+
+No murmur this time. This reaction was genuine; we'd been hit where we
+lived and I could see everybody was scared as sick as I was. Except
+maybe Bruce and Lili, who were still holding hands and beaming gently. I
+decided they were the kind that love makes brave, which it doesn't do to
+me. It just gives me two people to worry about.
+
+"I can see you dig our feelings," Kaby continued. "This thing scared the
+pants off of us. If we could have, we'd have even Introverted the
+Maintainer, broken all the ties that bind us, chanced it incommunicado.
+But the little old Maintainer was a seething red-hot puddle filled with
+bubbles big as handballs. We sat tight and watched the Void close. I
+kept calling on my Caller."
+
+ * * * * *
+
+I squeezed my eyes shut, but that made it easier to see the three of
+them with the Void shutting down on them. (Was ours still behaving? Yes,
+Bibi Miriam.) Poetry or no poetry, it got me.
+
+"Benson-Carter, lying dying, also thought the Snakes had done it. And he
+knew that death was in him, so he whispered me his mission, giving me
+precise instructions: how to press the seven death's hands, starting
+lockside counterclockwise, one, three, five, six, two, four, seven, then
+you have a half an hour; after you have pressed the seven, do not monkey
+with the buttons--get out fast and don't stop moving."
+
+I wasn't getting this part and I couldn't see that anyone else was,
+though Bruce was whispering to Lili. I remembered seeing skulls engraved
+on the bronze chest. I looked at Illy and he nodded a tentacle and
+spread two to say, I guessed, that yes, Benson-Carter had said something
+like that, but no, Illy didn't know much about it.
+
+"All these things and more he whispered," Kaby went on, "with the last
+gasps of his life-force, telling all his secret orders--for he'd not
+been sent to get us, he was on a separate mission, when he heard my
+SOSs. Sid, it's you he was to contact, as the first leg of his mission,
+pick up from you three black hussars, death's-head Demons, daring
+Soldiers, then to wait until the Places next match rhythm with the
+cosmos--matter of two mealtimes, barely--and to tune in northern Egypt
+in the age of the last Caesar, in the year of Rome's swift downfall,
+there to start an operation in a battle near a city named for Thrace's
+Alexander, there to change the course of battle, blow sky-high the
+stinking Serpents, all their agents, all their Zombies!
+
+"Goddess, pardon, now I savvy how you've guided my least footstep, when
+I thought you'd gone and left me--for I flubbed your three-mole signal.
+We've found Sid's Place, that's the first leg, and I see the three black
+hussars, and we've brought with us the weapon and the Parthian
+disguises, salvaged from the doomed Express Room when your Door appeared
+in time's nick, and the Room around us closing spewed us through before
+it vanished with the corpse of Benson-Carter. Triple Goddess, draw the
+milk now from the womanhood I flaunt here and inject the blackest
+hatred! Vengeance now upon the Serpents, vengeance sweet in northern
+Egypt, for your island, Crete, Goddess!--and a victory for the Spiders!
+Goddess, Goddess, we can swing it!"
+
+The roar that made me try to stop my ears with my shoulders didn't come
+from Kaby--she'd spoken her piece--but from Sid. The dear boy was purple
+enough to make me want to remind him you can die of high blood pressure
+just as easy in the Change World.
+
+"Dump me with ops! 'Sblood, I'll not endure it! Is this a battle post?
+They'll be mounting operations from field hospitals next. Kabysia
+Labrys, thou art mad to suggest it. And what's this prattle of locks,
+clocks, and death's heads, buttons and monkeys? This brabble, this
+farrago, this hocus-pocus! And where's the weapon you prate of? In that
+whoreson bronze casket, I suppose."
+
+She nodded, looking blank and almost a little shy as poetic possession
+faded from her. Her answer came like its faltering last echo.
+
+"It is nothing but a tiny tactical atomic bomb."
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER 7
+
+ After about 0.1 millisecond (one ten-thousandth part of a second)
+ has elapsed, the radius of the ball of fire is some 45 feet, and the
+ temperature is then in the vicinity of 300,000 degrees Centigrade.
+ At this instant, the luminosity, as observed at a distance of
+ 100,000 yards (5.7 miles), is approximately 100 times that of the
+ sun as seen at the earth's surface ... the ball of fire expands very
+ rapidly to its maximum radius of 450 feet within less than a second
+ from the explosion.
+
+ --Los Alamos
+
+TIME TO THINK
+
+
+Brother, that was all we needed to make everybody but Kaby and the two
+ETs start yelping at once, me included. It may seem strange that Change
+People, able to whiz through time and space and roust around outside the
+cosmos and knowing at least by hearsay of weapons a billion years in the
+future, like the Mindbomb, should panic at being shut in with a little
+primitive mid-20th Century gadget. Well, they feel the same as atomic
+scientists would feel if a Bengal tiger were brought into their
+laboratory, neither more nor less scared.
+
+I'm a moron at physics, but I do know the Fireball is bigger than the
+Place. Remember that, besides the bomb, we'd recently been presented
+with a lot of other fears we hadn't had time to cope with, especially
+the business of the Snakes having learned how to get at our Places and
+melt the Maintainers and collapse them. Not to mention the general
+impression--first Saint Petersburg, then Crete--that the whole Change
+War was going against the Spiders.
+
+Yet, in a free corner of my mind, I was shocked at how badly we were all
+panicking. It made me admit what I didn't like to: that we were all in
+pretty much the same state as Doc, except that the bottle didn't happen
+to be our out.
+
+And had the rest of us been controlling our drinking so well lately?
+
+Maud yelled, "Jettison it!" and pulled away from the satyr and ran from
+the bronze chest. Beau, harking back to what they'd thought of doing in
+the Express Room when it was too late, hissed, "Sirs, we must
+Introvert," and vaulted over the piano bench and legged it for the
+control divan. Erich seconded him with a white-faced "_Gott in Himmel,
+ja!_" from beside the surly, forgotten Countess, holding, by its slim
+stem, an empty, rose-stained wine glass.
+
+I felt my mind flinch, because Introverting a Place is several degrees
+worse than foxholing. It's supposed not only to keep the Door tight
+shut, but also to lock it so even the Change Winds can't get
+through--cut the Place loose from the cosmos altogether.
+
+I'd never talked with anyone from a Place that had been Introverted.
+
+ * * * * *
+
+Mark dumped Phryne off his lap and ran after Maud. The Greek Ghostgirl,
+quite solid now, looked around with sleepy fear and fumbled her
+apple-green chiton together at the throat. She wrenched my attention
+away from everyone else for a moment, and I couldn't help wondering
+whether the person or Zombie back in the cosmos, from whose lifeline the
+Ghost has been taken, doesn't at least have strange dreams or thoughts
+when something like this happens.
+
+Sid stopped Beau, though he almost got bowled over doing it, and he held
+the gambler away from the Maintainer in a bear hug and bellowed over his
+shoulders, "Masters, are you mad? Have you lost your wits? Maud! Mark!
+Marcus! Magdalene! On your lives, unhand that casket!"
+
+Maud had swept the clothes and bows and quivers and stuff off it and was
+dragging it out from the bar toward the Door sector, so as to dump it
+through fast when we got one, I guess, while Mark acted as if he were
+trying to help her and wrestle it away from her at the same time.
+
+They kept on as if they hadn't heard a word Sid said, with Mark yelling,
+"Let go, _meretrix_! This holds Rome's answer to Parthia on the Nile."
+
+Kaby watched them as if she wanted to help Mark but scorned to scuffle
+with a mere--well, Mark had said it in Latin, I guess--call girl.
+
+Then, on the top of the bronze chest, I saw those seven lousy skulls
+starting at the lock as plain as if they'd been under a magnifying
+glass, though ordinarily they'd have been a vague circle to my eyes at
+the distance, and I lost my mind and started to run in the opposite
+direction, but Illy whipped three tentacles around me, gentle-like, and
+squeaked, "Easy now, Greta girl, don't you be doing it, too. Hold still
+or Papa spank. My, my, but you two-leggers can whirl about when you have
+a mind to."
+
+My stampede had carried his featherweight body a couple of yards, but it
+stopped me and I got my mind back, partly.
+
+"Unhand it, I say!" Sid repeated without accomplishing anything, and he
+released Beau, though he kept a hand near the gambler's shoulder.
+
+Then my fat friend from Lynn Regis looked real distraught at the Void
+and blustered at no one in particular, "'Sdeath, think you I'd mutiny
+against my masters, desert the Spiders, go to ground like a spent fox
+and pull my hole in after me? A plague of such cowardice! Who suggests
+it? Introversion's no mere last-ditch device. Unless ordered, supervised
+and sanctioned, it means the end. And what if I'd Introverted ere we got
+Kaby's call for succor, hey?"
+
+ * * * * *
+
+His warrior maid nodded with harsh approval and he noticed it and shook
+his free hand at her and scolded her, "Not that I say yea to your mad
+plan for that Devil's casket, you half-clad lackwit. And yet to
+jettison.... Oh, ye gods, ye gods--" he wiped his hand across his
+face--"grant me a minute in which I may think!"
+
+Thinking time wasn't an item even on the strictly limited list at the
+moment, although Sevensee, squatting dourly on his hairy haunches where
+Maud had left him, threw in a dead-pan "Thas tellin em, Gov."
+
+Then Doc at the bar stood up tall as Abe Lincoln in his top hat and
+shawl and 19th Century duds and raised an unwavering arm for silence and
+said something that sounded like: "Introversh, inversh, glovsh," and
+then his enunciation switched to better than perfect as he continued, "I
+know to an absolute certainty what we must do."
+
+It showed me how rabbity we were that the Place got quiet as a church
+while we all stopped whatever we were doing and waited breathless for a
+poor drunk to tell us how to save ourselves.
+
+He said something like, "Inversh ... bosh ..." and held our eyes for a
+moment longer. Then the light went out of his and he slobbered out a
+"_Nichevo_" and slid an arm far along the bar for a bottle and started
+to pour it down his throat without stopping sliding.
+
+Before he completed his collapse to the floor, in the split second while
+our attention was still focused on the bar, Bruce vaulted up on top of
+it, so fast it was almost like he'd popped up from nowhere, though I'd
+seen him start from behind the piano.
+
+"I've a question. Has anyone here triggered that bomb?" he said in a
+voice that was very clear and just loud enough. "So it can't go off," he
+went on after just the right pause, his easy grin and brisk manner
+putting more heart into me all the time. "What's more, if it were to be
+triggered, we'd still have half an hour. I believe you said it had that
+long a fuse?"
+
+He stabbed a finger at Kaby. She nodded.
+
+"Right," he said. "It'd have to be that long for whoever plants it in
+the Parthian camp to get away. There's another safety margin.
+
+"Second question. Is there a locksmith in the house?"
+
+ * * * * *
+
+For all Bruce's easiness, he was watching us like a golden eagle and he
+caught Beau's and Maud's affirmatives before they had a chance to
+explain or hedge them and said, "That's very good. Under certain
+circumstances, you two'd be the ones to go to work on the chest. But
+before we consider that, there's Question Three: Is anyone here an
+atomics technician?"
+
+That one took a little conversation to straighten out, Illy having to
+explain that, yes, the Early Lunans had atomic power--hadn't they
+blasted the life off their planet with it and made all those ghastly
+craters?--but no, he wasn't a technician exactly, he was a "thinger" (I
+thought at first his squeakbox was lisping); what was a thinger?--well,
+a thinger was someone who manipulated things in a way that was truly
+impossible to describe, but no, you couldn't possibly thing atomics; the
+idea was quite ridiculous, so he couldn't be an atomics thinger; the
+term was worse than a contradiction, well, really!--while Sevensee, from
+his two-thousand-millennia advantage of the Lunan, grunted to the effect
+that his culture didn't rightly use any kind of power, but just sort of
+moved satyrs and stuff by wrastling space-time around, "or think em roun
+ef we hafta. Can't think em in the Void, tho, wus luck. Hafta have--I
+dunno wut. Dun havvit anyhow."
+
+"So we don't have an A-tech," Bruce summed up, "which makes it worse
+than useless, downright dangerous, to tamper with the chest. We wouldn't
+know what to do if we did get inside safely. One more question." He
+directed it toward Sid. "How long before we can jettison anything?"
+
+Sid, looking a shade jealous, yet mostly grateful for the way Bruce had
+calmed his chickens, started to explain, but Bruce didn't seem to be
+taking any chance of losing his audience, and as soon as Sid got to the
+word "rhythm," he pulled the answer away from him.
+
+"In brief, not until we can effectively tune in on the cosmos again.
+Thank you, Master Lessingham. That's at least five hours--two mealtimes,
+as the Cretan officer put it," and he threw Kaby a quick soldierly
+smile. "So, whether the bomb goes to Egypt or elsewhere, there's not a
+thing we can do about it for five hours. All right then!"
+
+His smile blinked out like a light and he took a couple of steps up and
+down the bar, as if measuring the space he had. Two or three cocktail
+glasses sailed off and popped, but he didn't seem to notice them and we
+hardly did either. It was creepy the way he kept staring from one to
+another of us. We had to look up. Behind his face, with the straight
+golden hair flirting around it, was only the Void.
+
+"All right then," he repeated suddenly. "We're twelve Spiders and two
+Ghosts, and we've time for a bit of a talk, and we're all in the same
+bloody boat, fighting the same bloody war, so we'll all know what we're
+talking about. I raised the subject a while back, but I was steamed up
+about a glove, and it was a big jest. All right! But now the gloves are
+off!"
+
+ * * * * *
+
+Bruce ripped them out of his belt where they'd been tucked and slammed
+them down on the bar, to be kicked off the next time he paced back and
+forth, and it wasn't funny.
+
+"Because," he went right on, "I've been getting a completely new picture
+of what this Spiders' war has been doing to each one of us. Oh, it's
+jolly good sport to slam around in space and time and then have a rugged
+little party outside both of them when the operation's over. It's sweet
+to know there's no cranny of reality so narrow, no privacy so intimate
+or sacred, no wall of was or will be strong enough, that we can't
+shoulder in. Knowledge is a glamorous thing, sweeter than lust or
+gluttony or the passion of fighting and including all three, the
+ultimate insatiable hunger, and it's great to be Faust, even in a pack
+of other Fausts.
+
+"It's sweet to jigger reality, to twist the whole course of a man's life
+or a culture's, to ink out his or its past and scribble in a new one,
+and be the only one to know and gloat over the changes--hah! killing men
+or carrying off women isn't in it for glutting the sense of power. It's
+sweet to feel the Change Winds blowing through you and know the pasts
+that were and the past that is and the pasts that may be. It's sweet to
+wield the Atropos and cut a Zombie or Unborn out of his lifeline and
+look the Doubleganger in the face and see the Resurrection-glow in it
+and Recruit a brother, welcome a newborn fellow Demon into our ranks and
+decide whether he'll best fit as Soldier, Entertainer, or what.
+
+"Or he can't stand Resurrection, it fries or freezes him, and you've got
+to decide whether to return him to his lifeline and his Zombie dreams,
+only they'll be a little grayer and horrider than they were before, or
+whether, if she's got that tantalizing something, to bring her shell
+along for a Ghostgirl--that's sweet, too. It's even sweet to have Change
+Death poised over your neck, to know that the past isn't the precious
+indestructible thing you've been taught it was, to know that there's no
+certainty about the future either, whether there'll even be one, to know
+that no part of reality is holy, that the cosmos itself may wink out
+like a flicked switch and God be not and nothing left but nothing!"
+
+He threw out his arms against the Void. "And knowing all that, it's
+doubly sweet to come through the Door into the Place and be out of the
+worst of the Change Winds and enjoy a well-earned Recuperation and share
+the memories of all these sweetnesses I've been talking about, and work
+out all the fascinating feelings you've been accumulating back in the
+cosmos, layer by black layer, in the company of and with the help of the
+best bloody little band of fellow Fausts and Faustines going!
+
+"Oh, it's a sweet life, all right, but I'm asking you--" and here his
+eyes stabbed us again, one by one, fast--"I'm asking you what it's done
+to us. I've been getting a completely new picture, as I said, of what my
+life was and what it could have been if there'd been changes of the sort
+that even we Demons can't make, and what my life is. I've been watching
+how we've all been responding to things just now, to the news of Saint
+Petersburg and to what the Cretan officer told beautifully--only it
+wasn't beautiful what she had to tell--and mostly to that bloody box of
+bomb. And I'm simply asking each one of you, what's happened to you?"
+
+ * * * * *
+
+He stopped his pacing and stuck his thumbs in his belt and seemed to be
+listening to the wheels turning in at least eleven other heads--only I
+stopped mine pretty quick, with Dave and Father and the Rape of Chicago
+coming up out of the dark on the turn and Mother and the Indiana Dunes
+and Jazz Limited just behind them, followed by the unthinkable thing
+the Spider doctor had flicked into existence when I flopped as a nurse,
+because I can't stand that to be done to my mind by anybody but myself.
+
+I stopped them by using the old infallible Entertainers' gimmick, a fast
+survey of the most interesting topic there is--other people's troubles.
+
+ * * * * *
+
+Offhand, Beau looked as if he had most troubles, shamed by his boss and
+his girl given her heart to a Soldier; he was hugging them to himself
+very quiet.
+
+I didn't stop for the two ETs--they're too hard to figure--or for Doc;
+nobody can tell whether a fallen-down drunk's at the black or bright end
+of his cycle; you just know it's cycling.
+
+Maud ought to be suffering as much as Beau, called names and caught out
+in a panic, which always hurts her because she's plus three hundred
+years more future than the rest of us and figures she ought to be that
+much wiser, which she isn't always--not to mention she's over fifty
+years old, though her home-century cosmetic science keeps her looking
+and acting teenage most of the time. She'd backed away from the bronze
+chest so as not to stand out, and now Lili came from behind the piano
+and stood beside her.
+
+Lili had the opposite of troubles, a great big glow for Bruce, proud as
+a promised princess watching her betrothed. Erich frowned when he saw
+her, for he seemed proud too, proud of the way his _Kamerad_ had taken
+command of us panicky whacks _Fuehrer_-fashion. Sid still looked mostly
+grateful and inclined to let Bruce keep on talking.
+
+Even Kaby and Mark, those two dragons hot for battle, standing a little
+in front and to one side of us by the bronze chest, like its guardians,
+seemed willing to listen. They made me realize one reason Sid had for
+letting Bruce run on, although the path his talk was leading us down was
+flashing with danger signals: When it was over, there'd still be the
+problem of what to do with the bomb, and a real opposition shaping up
+between Soldiers and Entertainers, and Sid was hoping a solution would
+turn up in the meantime or at least was willing to put off the evil day.
+
+But beyond all that, and like the rest of us, I could tell from the way
+Sid was squinting his browy eyes and chewing his beardy lip that he was
+shaken and moved by what Bruce had said. This New Boy had dipped into
+our hearts and counted our kicks so beautifully, better than most of us
+could have done, and then somehow turned them around so that we had to
+think of what messes and heels and black sheep and lost lambs we
+were--well, we wanted to keep on listening.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER 8
+
+ Give me a place to stand, and I will move the world.
+
+ --Archimedes
+
+A PLACE TO STAND
+
+
+Bruce's voice had a faraway touch and he was looking up left at the Void
+as he said, "Have you ever really wondered why the two sides of this war
+are called the Snakes and the Spiders? Snakes may be clear enough--you
+always call the enemy something dirty. But Spiders--our name for
+ourselves? Bear with me, Ilhilihis; I know that no being is created
+dirty or malignant by Nature, but this is a matter of anthropoid
+feelings and folkways. Yes, Mark, I know that some of your legions have
+nicknames like the Drunken Lions and the Snails, and that's about as
+insulting as calling the British Expeditionary Force the Old
+Contemptibles.
+
+"No, you'd have to go to bands of vicious youths in cities slated for
+ruin to find a habit of naming like ours, and even they would try to
+brighten up the black a bit. But simply--Spiders. And Snakes, for that's
+their name for themselves too, you know. Spiders and Snakes. What are
+our masters, that we give them names like that?"
+
+It gave me the shivers and set my mind working in a dozen directions and
+I couldn't stop it, although it made the shivers worse.
+
+Illy beside me now--I'd never given it a thought before, but he did have
+eight legs of a sort, and I remembered thinking of him as a spider
+monkey, and hadn't the Lunans had wisdom and atomic power and a billion
+years in which to get the Change War rolling?
+
+Or suppose, in the far future, Terra's own spiders evolved intelligence
+and a cruel cannibal culture. They'd be able to keep their existence
+secret. I had no idea of who or what would be on Earth in Sevensee's
+day, and wouldn't it be perfect black hairy poisoned spider-mentality to
+spin webs secretly through the world of thought and all of space and
+time?
+
+And Beau--wasn't there something real Snaky about him, the way he moved
+and all?
+
+Spiders and Snakes. _Spinne und Schlange_, as Erich called them. S & S.
+But SS stood for the Nazi _Schutzstaffel_, the Black Shirts, and what if
+some of those cruel, crazy Jerries had discovered time travel and--I
+brought myself up with a jerk and asked myself, "Greta, how nuts can you
+get?"
+
+ * * * * *
+
+From where he was on the floor, the front of the bar his sounding board,
+Doc shrieked up at Bruce like one of the damned from the pit, "Don't
+speak against the Spiders! Don't blaspheme! They can hear the Unborn
+whisper. Others whip only the skin, but they whip the naked brain and
+heart," and Erich called out, "That's enough, Bruce!"
+
+But Bruce didn't spare him a look and said, "But whatever the Spiders
+are and no matter how much whip they use, it's plain as the telltale on
+the Maintainer that the Change War is not only going against them, but
+getting away from them. Dwell for a bit on the current flurry of stupid
+slugging and panicky anachronism, when we all know that anachronism is
+what gets the Change Winds out of control. This punch-drunk pounding on
+the Cretan-Dorian fracas as if it were the only battle going and the
+only way to work things. Whisking Constantine from Britain to the
+Bosporus by rocket, sending a pocket submarine back to sail with the
+Armada against Drake's woodensides--I'll wager you hadn't heard those!
+And now, to save Rome, an atomic bomb.
+
+"Ye gods, they could have used Greek fire or even dynamite, but a
+fission weapon.... I leave you to imagine what gaps and scars that will
+make in what's left of history--the smothering of Greece and the
+vanishment of Provence and the troubadours and the Papacy's Irish
+Captivity won't be in it!"
+
+The cut on his cheek had opened again and was oozing a little, but he
+didn't pay any attention to it, and neither did we, as his lips thinned
+in irony and he said, "But I'm forgetting that this is a cosmic war and
+that the Spiders are conducting operations on billions, trillions of
+planets and inhabited gas clouds through millions of ages and that we're
+just one little world--one little solar system, Sevensee--and we can
+hardly expect our inscrutable masters, with all their pressing
+preoccupations and far-flung responsibilities, to be especially
+understanding or tender in their treatment of our pet books and
+centuries, our favorite prophets and periods, or unduly concerned about
+preserving any of the trifles that we just happen to hold dear.
+
+"Perhaps there are some sentimentalists who would rather die forever
+than go on living in a world without the _Summa_, the Field Equations,
+_Process and Reality_, _Hamlet_, Matthew, Keats, and the _Odyssey_, but
+our masters are practical creatures, ministering to the needs of those
+rugged souls who want to go on living no matter what."
+
+ * * * * *
+
+Erich's "Bruce, I'm telling you that's enough," was lost in the
+quickening flow of the New Boy's words. "I won't spend much time on the
+minor signs of our major crack-up--the canceling of leaves, the sharper
+shortages, the loss of the Express Room, the use of Recuperation
+Stations for ops and all the other frantic patchwork--last operation
+but one, we were saddled with three Soldiers from outside the Galaxy
+and, no fault of theirs, they were no earthly use. Such little things
+might happen at a bad spot in any war and are perhaps only local. But
+there's a big thing."
+
+He paused again, to let us wonder, I guess. Maud must have worked her
+way over to me, for I felt her dry little hand on my arm and she
+whispered out of the side of her mouth, "What do we do now?"
+
+"We listen," I told her the same way. I felt a little impatient with her
+need to be doing something about things.
+
+She cocked a gold-dusted eyebrow at me and murmured, "You, too?"
+
+I didn't get to ask her me, too, what? Crush on Bruce? Nuts!--because
+just then Bruce's voice took up again in the faraway range.
+
+"Have you ever asked yourselves how many operations the fabric of
+history can stand before it's all stitches, whether too much Change
+won't one day wear out the past? And the present and the future, too,
+the whole bleeding business. Is the law of the Conservation of Reality
+any more than a thin hope given a long name, a prayer of theoreticians?
+Change Death is as certain as Heat Death, and far faster. Every
+operation leaves reality a bit cruder, a bit uglier, a bit more
+makeshift, and a whole lot less rich in those details and feelings that
+are our heritage, like the crude penciled sketch on canvas when you've
+stripped off the paint.
+
+"If that goes on, won't the cosmos collapse into an outline of itself,
+then nothing? How much thinning can reality stand, having more and more
+Doublegangers cut out of it? And there's another thing about every
+operation--it wakes up the Zombies a little more, and as its Change
+Winds die, it leaves them a little more disturbed and nightmare-ridden
+and frazzled. Those of you who have been on operations in heavily
+worked-over temporal areas will know what I mean--that look they give
+you out of the sides of their eyes as if to say, 'You again? For
+Christ's sake, go away. We're the dead. We're the ones who don't want to
+wake up, who don't want to be Demons and hate to be Ghosts. Stop
+torturing us.'"
+
+ * * * * *
+
+I looked around at the Ghostgirls; I couldn't help it. They'd somehow
+got together on the control divan, facing us, their backs to the
+Maintainers. The Countess had dragged along the bottle of wine Erich had
+fetched her earlier and they were passing it back and forth. The
+Countess had a big rose splotch across the ruffled white lace of her
+blouse.
+
+Bruce said, "There'll come a day when all the Zombies and all the Unborn
+wake up and go crazy together and figuratively come marching at us in
+their numberless hordes, saying, 'We've had enough.'"
+
+But I didn't turn back to Bruce right away. Phryne's chiton had slipped
+off one shoulder and she and the Countess were sitting sagged forward,
+elbows on knees, legs spread--at least, as far as the Countess's hobble
+skirt would let her--and swayed toward each other a little. They were
+still surprisingly solid, although they hadn't had any personal
+attention for a half hour, and they were looking up over my head with
+half-shut eyes and they seemed, so help me, to be listening to what
+Bruce was saying and maybe hearing some of it.
+
+"We make a careful distinction between Zombies and Unborn, between those
+troubled by our operations whose lifelines lie in the past and those
+whose lifelines lie in the future. But is there any distinction any
+longer? Can we tell the difference between the past and the future? Can
+we any longer locate the now, the real now of the cosmos? The Places
+have their own nows, the now of the Big Time we're on, but that's
+different and it's not made for real living.
+
+"The Spiders tell us that the real now is somewhere in the last half of
+the 20th Century, which means that several of us here are also alive in
+the cosmos, have lifelines along which the now is traveling. But do you
+swallow that story quite so easily, Ilhilihis, Sevensee? How does it
+strike the servants of the Triple Goddess? The Spiders of Octavian Rome?
+The Demons of Good Queen Bess? The gentlemen Zombies of the Greater
+South? Do the Unborn man the starships, Maud?
+
+"The Spiders also tell us that, although the fog of battle makes the now
+hard to pin down precisely, it will return with the unconditional
+surrender of the Snakes and the establishment of cosmic peace, and roll
+on as majestically toward the future as before, quickening the continuum
+with its passage. Do you really believe that? Or do you believe, as I
+do, that we've used up all the future as well as the past, wasted it in
+premature experience, and that we've had the real now smudged out of
+existence, stolen from us forever, the precious now of true growth, the
+child-moment in which all life lies, the moment like a newborn baby that
+is the only home for hope there is?"
+
+ * * * * *
+
+He let that start to sink in, then took a couple of quick steps and went
+on, his voice rising over Erich's "Bruce, for the last time--" and
+seeming to pick up a note of hope from the very word he had used, "But
+although things look terrifyingly black, there remains a chance--the
+slimmest chance, but still a chance--of saving the cosmos from Change
+Death and restoring reality's richness and giving the Ghosts good sleep
+and perhaps even regaining the real now. We have the means right at
+hand. What if the power of time traveling were used not for war and
+destruction, but for healing, for the mutual enrichment of the ages, for
+quiet communication and growth, in brief, to bring a peace message--"
+
+But my little commandant is quite an actor himself and knows a wee bit
+about the principles of scene-stealing, and he was not going to let
+Bruce drown him out as if he were just another extra playing a Voice
+from the Mob. He darted across our front, between us and the bar, took a
+running leap, and landed bang on the bloody box of bomb.
+
+A bit later, Maud was silently showing me the white ring above her elbow
+where I'd grabbed her and Illy was teasing a clutch of his tentacles out
+of my other hand and squeaking reproachfully, "Greta girl, don't ever do
+that."
+
+Erich was standing on the chest and I noticed that his boots carefully
+straddled the circle of skulls, and I should have known anyway you could
+hardly push them in the right order by jumping on them, and he was
+pointing at Bruce and saying, "--and that means mutiny, my young sir.
+_Um Gottes willen_, Bruce, listen to me and step down before you say
+anything worse. I'm older than you, Bruce. Mark's older. Trust in your
+_Kameraden_. Guide yourself by their knowledge."
+
+He had got my attention, but I had much rather have him black my eye.
+
+"You older than me?" Bruce was grinning. "When your twelve-years'
+advantage was spent in soaking up the wisdom of a race of sadistic
+dreamers gone paranoid, in a world whose thought-stream had already been
+muddied by one total war? Mark older than me? When all his ideas and
+loyalties are those of a wolf pack of unimaginative sluggers two
+thousand years younger than I am? Either of you older because you have
+more of the killing cynicism that is all the wisdom the Change World
+ever gives you? Don't make me laugh!
+
+"I'm an Englishman, and I come from an epoch when total war was still a
+desecration and the flowers and buds of thoughts not yet whacked off or
+blighted. I'm a poet and poets are wiser than anyone because they're the
+only people who have the guts to think and feel at the same time. Right,
+Sid? When I talk to all of you about a peace message, I want you to
+think about it concretely in terms of using the Places to bring help
+across the mountains of time when help is really needed, not to bring
+help that's undeserved or knowledge that's premature or contaminating,
+sometimes not to bring anything at all, but just to check with infinite
+tenderness and concern that everything's safe and the glories of the
+universe unfolding as they were intended to--"
+
+"Yes, you are a poet, Bruce," Erich broke in. "You can tootle soulfully
+on the flute and make us drip tears. You can let out the stops on the
+big organ pipes and make us tremble as if at Jehovah's footsteps. For
+the last twenty minutes, you have been giving us some very _charmante_
+poetry. But what are you? An Entertainer? Or are you a Soldier?"
+
+ * * * * *
+
+Right then--I don't know what it was, maybe Sid clearing his throat--I
+could sense our feelings beginning to turn against Bruce. I got the
+strangest feeling of reality clamping down and bright colors going dull
+and dreams vanishing. Yet it was only then I also realized how much
+Bruce had moved us, maybe some of us to the verge of mutiny, even. I was
+mad at Erich for what he was doing, but I couldn't help admiring his
+cockiness.
+
+I was still under the spell of Bruce's words and the more-than-words
+behind them, but then Erich would shift around a bit and one of his
+heels would kick near the death's-head pushbuttons and I wanted to stamp
+with spike heels on every death's-head button on his uniform. I didn't
+know exactly what I felt yet.
+
+"Yes, I'm a Soldier," Bruce told him, "and I hope you won't ever have to
+worry about my courage, because it's going to take more courage than any
+operation we've ever planned, ever dreamed of, to carry the peace
+message to the other Places and to the wound-spots of the cosmos.
+Perhaps it will be a fast wicket and we'll be bowled down before we
+score a single run, but who cares? We may at least see our real masters
+when they come to smash us, and for me that will be a deep satisfaction.
+And we may do some smashing of our own."
+
+"So you're a Soldier," Erich said, his smile showing his teeth. "Bruce,
+I'll admit that the half-dozen operations you've been on were rougher
+than anything I drew in my first hundred sleeps. For that, I am all
+honest sympathy. But that you should let them get you into such a state
+that love and a girl can turn you upside down and start you babbling
+about peace messages--"
+
+"Yes, by God, love and a girl have changed me!" Bruce shouted at him,
+and I looked around at Lili and I remembered Dave saying, "I'm going to
+Spain," and I wondered if anything would ever again make my face flame
+like that. "Or, rather, they've made me stand up for what I've believed
+in all along. They've made me--"
+
+"_Wunderbar_," Erich called and began to do a little sissy dance on the
+bomb that set my teeth on edge. He bent his wrists and elbows at arty
+angles and stuck out a hip and ducked his head simperingly and blinked
+his eyes very fast. "Will you invite me to the wedding, Bruce? You'll
+have to get another best man, but I will be the flower girl and throw
+pretty little posies to all the distinguished guests. Here, Mark. Catch,
+Kaby. One for you, Greta. _Danke schoen. Ach, zwei Herzen in
+dreivierteltakt ... ta-ta ... ta-ta ... ta-ta-ta-ta-ta ..._"
+
+"What the hell do you think a woman is?" Bruce raged. "Something to mess
+around with in your spare time?"
+
+ * * * * *
+
+Erich kept on humming "Two Hearts in Waltz Time"--and jigging around to
+it, damn him--but he slipped in a nod to Bruce and a "Precisely." So I
+knew where I stood, but it was no news to me.
+
+"Very well," Bruce said, "let's leave this Brown Shirt _maricon_ to
+amuse himself and get down to business. I made all of you a proposal and
+I don't have to tell you how serious it is or how serious Lili and I are
+about it. We not only must infiltrate and subvert other Places, which
+luckily for us are made for infiltration, we also must make contact with
+the Snakes and establish working relationships with their Demons at our
+level as one of our first steps."
+
+That stopped Erich's jig and got enough of a gasp from some of us to
+make it seem to come from practically everybody. Erich used it to work a
+change of pace.
+
+"Bruce! We've let you carry this foolery further than we should. You
+seem to have the idea that because anything goes in the Place--dueling,
+drunkenness, _und so weiter_--you can say what you have and it will all
+be forgotten with the hangover. Not so. It is true that among such a set
+of monsters and free spirits as ourselves, and working as secret agents
+to boot, there cannot be the obvious military discipline that would
+obtain in a Terran army.
+
+"But let me tell you, Bruce, let me grind it home into you--Sid and Kaby
+and Mark will bear me out in this, as officers of equivalent rank--that
+the Spider line of command stretches into and through this Place just as
+surely as the word of _der Fuehrer_ rules Chicago. And as I shouldn't
+have to emphasize to you, Bruce, the Spiders have punishments that
+would make my countrymen in Belsen and Buchenwald--well, pale a little.
+So while there is still a shadow of justification for our interpreting
+your remarks as utterly tasteless clowning--"
+
+"Babble on," Bruce said, giving him a loose downward wave of his hand
+without looking. "I made you people a proposal." He paused. "How do you
+stand, Sidney Lessingham?"
+
+Then I felt my legs getting weak, because Sid didn't answer right away.
+The old boy swallowed and started to look around at the rest of us. Then
+the feeling of reality clamping down got something awful, because he
+didn't look around, but straightened his back a little. Just then, Mark
+cut in fast.
+
+"It grieves me, Bruce, but I think you are possessed. Erich, he must be
+confined."
+
+ * * * * *
+
+Kaby nodded, almost absently. "Confine or kill the coward, whichever is
+easier, whip the woman, and let's get on to the Egyptian battle."
+
+"Indeed, yes," Mark said. "I died in it. But now perhaps no longer."
+
+Kaby said to him, "I like you, Roman."
+
+Bruce was smiling, barely, and his eyes were moving and fixing. "You,
+Ilhilihis?"
+
+Illy's squeak box had never sounded mechanical to me before, but it did
+as he answered, "I'm a lot deeper into borrowed time than the rest of
+you, tra-la-la, but Papa still loves living. Include me very much out,
+Brucie."
+
+"Miss Davies?"
+
+Beside me, Maud said flatly, "Do you think I'm a fool?" Beyond her, I
+saw Lili and I thought, "My God, I might look as proud if I were in her
+shoes, but I sure as hell wouldn't look as confident."
+
+Bruce's eyes hadn't quite come to Beau when the gambler spoke up. "I
+have no cause to like you, sir, rather the opposite. But this Place has
+come to bore me more than Boston and I have always found it difficult to
+resist a long shot. A very long one, I fear. I am with you, sir."
+
+There was a pain in my chest and a roaring in my ears and through it I
+heard Sevensee grunting, "--sicka these lousy Spiders. Deal me in."
+
+And then Doc reared up in front of the bar and he'd lost his hat and his
+hair was wild and he grabbed an empty fifth by the neck and broke the
+bottom of it all jagged against the bar and he waved it and screeched,
+"_Ubivaytye Pauki--i Nyemetzi!_"
+
+And right behind his words, Beau sang out fast the English of it, "Kill
+the Spiders--and the Germans!"
+
+And Doc didn't collapse then, though I could see he was hanging onto
+the bar tight with his other hand, and the Place got stiller, inside and
+out, than I've ever known it, and Bruce's eyes were finally moving back
+toward Sid.
+
+ * * * * *
+
+But the eyes stopped short of Sid and I heard Bruce say, "Miss Forzane?"
+and I thought, "That's funny," and I started to look around at the
+Countess, and felt all the eyes and I realized, "Hey, that's me! But
+this can't happen to me. To the others, yes, but not to me. I just work
+here. Not to Greta, no, no, no!"
+
+But it had, and the eyes didn't let go, and the silence and the feeling
+of reality were Godawful, and I said to myself, "Greta, you've got to
+say something, if only a suitable four-letter word," and then suddenly I
+knew what the silence was like. It was like that of a big city if there
+were some way of shutting off all the noise in one second. It was like
+Erich's singing when the piano had deserted him. It was as if the Change
+Winds should ever die completely ... and I knew beforehand what had
+happened when I turned my back on them all.
+
+The Ghostgirls were gone. The Major Maintainer hadn't merely been
+switched to Introvert. It was gone, too.
+
+
+
+
+[Illustration]
+
+
+CHAPTER 9
+
+ "We examined the moss between the bricks, and found it undisturbed."
+
+ "You looked among D----'s papers, of course, and into the books of
+ the library?"
+
+ "Certainly; we opened every package and parcel; we not only opened
+ every book, but we turned over every leaf in each volume...."
+
+ --Poe
+
+A LOCKED ROOM
+
+
+Three hours later, Sid and I plumped down on the couch nearest the
+kitchen, though too tired to want to eat for a while yet. A tighter
+search than I could ever have cooked up had shown that the Maintainer
+was not in the Place.
+
+Of course it had to be in the Place, as we kept telling each other for
+the first two hours. It had to be, if circumstances and the theories we
+lived by in the Change World meant anything. A Maintainer is what
+maintains a Place. The Minor Maintainer takes care of oxygen,
+temperature, humidity, gravity, and other little life-cycle and
+matter-cycle things generally, but it's the Major Maintainer that keeps
+the walls from buckling and the ceiling from falling in. It is little,
+but oh my, it does so much.
+
+It doesn't work by wires or radio or anything complicated like that. It
+just hooks into local space-time.
+
+I have been told that its inside working part is made up of vastly
+tough, vastly hard giant molecules, each one of which is practically a
+vest-pocket cosmos in itself. Outside, it looks like a portable radio
+with a few more dials and some telltales and switches and plug-ins for
+earphones and a lot of other sensory thingumajigs.
+
+But the Maintainer was gone and the Void hadn't closed in, yet. By this
+time, I was so fagged, I didn't care much whether it did or not.
+
+One thing for sure, the Maintainer had been switched to Introvert before
+it was spirited away or else its disappearance automatically produced
+Introversion, take your choice, because we sure were Introverted--real
+nasty martinet-schoolmaster grip of reality on my thoughts that I knew,
+without trying, liquor wouldn't soften, not a breath of Change Wind,
+absolutely stifling, and the gray of the Void seeming so much inside my
+head that I think I got a glimmering of what the science boys mean when
+they explain to me that the Place is a kind of interweaving of the
+material and the mental--a Giant Monad, one of them called it.
+
+Anyway, I said to myself, "Greta, if this is Introversion, I want no
+part of it. It is not nice to be cut adrift from the cosmos and know it.
+A lifeboat in the middle of the Pacific and a starship between galaxies
+are not in it for loneliness."
+
+ * * * * *
+
+I asked myself why the Spiders had ever equipped Maintainers with
+Introversion switches anyway, when we couldn't drill with them and
+weren't supposed to use them except in an emergency so tight that it was
+either Introvert or surrender to the Snakes, and for the first time the
+obvious explanation came to me:
+
+Introversion must be the same as scuttling, its main purpose to withhold
+secrets and materiel from the enemy. It put a place into a situation
+from which even the Spider high command couldn't rescue it, and there
+was nothing left but to sink down, down (out? up?), down into the Void.
+
+If that was the case, our chances of getting back were about those of my
+being a kid again playing in the Dunes on the Small Time.
+
+I edged a little closer to Sid and sort of squunched under his shoulder
+and rubbed my cheek against the smudged, gold-worked gray velvet. He
+looked down and I said, "A long way to Lynn Regis, eh, Siddy?"
+
+"Sweetling, thou spokest a mouthful," he said. He knows very well what
+he is doing when he mixes his language that way, the wicked old
+darling.
+
+"Siddy," I said, "why this gold-work? It'd be a lot smoother without
+it."
+
+"Marry, men must prick themselves out and, 'faith I know not, but it
+helps if there's metal in it."
+
+"And girls get scratched." I took a little sniff. "But don't put this
+doublet through the cleaner yet. Until we get out of the woods, I want
+as much you around as possible."
+
+"Marry, and why should I?" he asked blankly, and I think he wasn't
+fooling me. The last thing time travelers find out is how they do or
+don't smell. Then his face clouded and he looked as though he wanted to
+squunch under my shoulder. "But 'faith, sweetling, your forest has a few
+more trees than Sherwood."
+
+"Thou saidst it," I agreed, and wondered about the look. He oughtn't to
+be interested in my girlishness now. I knew I was a mess, but he had
+stuck pretty close to me during the hunt and you never can tell. Then I
+remembered that he was the other one who hadn't declared himself when
+Bruce was putting it to us, and it probably troubled his male vanity.
+Not me, though--I was still grateful to the Maintainer for getting me
+out of that spot, whatever other it had got us all into. It seemed ages
+ago.
+
+ * * * * *
+
+We'd all jumped to the conclusion that the two Ghostgirls had run away
+with the Maintainer, I don't know where or why, but it looked so much
+that way. Maud had started yipping about how she'd never trusted Ghosts
+and always known that some day they'd start doing things on their own,
+and Kaby had got it firmly fixed in her head, right between the horns,
+that Phryne, being a Greek, was the ringleader and was going to wreak
+havoc on us all.
+
+But when we were checking Stores the first time, I had noticed that the
+Ghostgirl envelopes looked flat. Ectoplasm doesn't take up much space
+when it's folded, but I had opened one anyway, then another, and then
+called for help.
+
+Every last envelope was empty. We had lost over a thousand Ghostgirls,
+Sid's whole stock.
+
+Well, at least it proved what none of us had ever seen or heard of being
+demonstrated: that there is a spooky link--a sort of Change Wind
+contact--between a Ghost and its lifeline; and when that umbilicus, I've
+heard it called, is cut, the part away from the lifeline dies.
+
+Interesting, but what had bothered me was whether we Demons were going
+to evaporate too, because we are as much Doublegangers as the Ghosts and
+our apron strings had been cut just as surely. We're more solid, of
+course, but that would only mean we'd take a little longer. Very
+logical.
+
+I remember I had looked up at Lili and Maud--us girls had been checking
+the envelopes; it's one of the proprieties we frequently maintain and
+anyway, if men check them, they're apt to trot out that old wheeze about
+"instant women" which I'm sick to death of hearing, thank you.
+
+Anyway, I had looked up and said, "It's been nice knowing you," and Lili
+had said, "Twenty-three, skiddoo," and Maud had said, "Here goes
+nothing," and we had shook hands all around.
+
+We figured that Phryne and the Countess had faded at the same time as
+the other Ghostgirls, but an idea had been nibbling at me and I said,
+"Siddy, do you suppose it's just barely possible that, while we were all
+looking at Bruce, those two Ghostgirls would have been able to work the
+Maintainer and get a Door and lam out of here with the thing?"
+
+"Thou speakst my thoughts, sweetling. All weighs against it: Imprimis,
+'tis well known that Ghosts cannot lay plots or act on them. Secundo,
+the time forbade getting a Door. Tercio--and here's the real meat of
+it--the Place folds without the Maintainer. Quadro, 'twere folly to
+depend on not one of--how many of us? ten, elf--not looking around in
+all the time it would have taken them--"
+
+"I looked around once, Siddy. They were drinking and they had got to the
+control divan under their own power. Now when was that? Oh, yes, when
+Bruce was talking about Zombies."
+
+"Yes, sweetling. And as I was about to cap my argument with quinquo when
+you 'gan prattle, I could have sworn none could touch the Maintainer,
+much less work it and purloin it, without my certain knowledge. Yet ..."
+
+"Eftsoons yet," I seconded him.
+
+ * * * * *
+
+Somebody must have got a door and walked out with the thing. It
+certainly wasn't in the Place. The hunt had been a lulu. Something the
+size of a portable typewriter is not easy to hide and we had been inside
+everything from Beau's piano to the renewer link of the Refresher.
+
+We had even fluoroscoped everybody, though it had made Illy writhe like
+a box of worms, as he'd warned us; he said it tickled terribly and I
+insisted on smoothing his fur for five minutes afterward, although he
+was a little standoffish toward me.
+
+Some areas, like the bar, kitchen and Stores, took a long while, but we
+were thorough. Kaby helped Doc check Surgery: since she last made the
+Place, she has been stationed in a Field Hospital (it turns out the
+Spiders actually are mounting operations from them) and learned a few
+nice new wrinkles.
+
+However, Doc put in some honest work on his own, though, of course,
+every check was observed by at least three people, not including Bruce
+or Lili. When the Maintainer vanished, Doc had pulled out of his
+glassy-eyed drunk in a way that would have surprised me if I hadn't seen
+it happen to him before, but when we finished Surgery and got on to the
+Art Gallery, he had started to putter and I noticed him hold out his
+coat and duck his head and whip out a flask and take a swig and by now
+he was well on his way toward another peak.
+
+The Art Gallery had taken time too, because there's such a jumble of
+strange stuff, and it broke my heart but Kaby took her ax and split a
+beautiful blue woodcarving of a Venusian medusa because, although there
+wasn't a mark in the paw-polished surface, she claimed it was just big
+enough. Doc cried a little and we left him fitting the pieces together
+and mooning over the other stuff.
+
+After we'd finished everything else, Mark had insisted on tackling the
+floor. Beau and Sid both tried to explain to him how this is a one-sided
+Place, that there is nothing, but nothing, under the floor; it just gets
+a lot harder than the diamonds crusting it as soon as you get a quarter
+inch down--that being the solid equivalent of the Void. But Mark was
+knuckle-headed (like all Romans, Sid assured me on the q.t.) and broke
+four diamond-plus drills before he was satisfied.
+
+Except for some trick hiding places, that left the Void, and things
+don't vanish if you throw them at the Void--they half melt and freeze
+forever unless you can fish them out. Back of the Refresher, at about
+eye-level, are three Venusian coconuts that a Hittite strongman threw
+there during a major brawl. I try not to look at them because they are
+so much like witch heads they give me the woolies. The parts of the
+Place right up against the Void have strange spatial properties which
+one of the gadgets in Surgery makes use of in a way that gives me the
+worse woolies, but that's beside the point.
+
+ * * * * *
+
+During the hunt, Kaby and Erich had used their Callers as direction
+finders to point out the Maintainer, just as they're used in the cosmos
+to locate the Door--and sometimes in the Big Places, people tell me. But
+the Callers only went wild--like a compass needle whirling around
+without stopping--and nobody knew what that meant.
+
+The trick hiding places were the Minor Maintainer, a cute idea, but it
+is no bigger than the Major and has its own mysterious insides and had
+obviously kept on doing its own work, so that was out for several
+reasons, and the bomb chest, though it seemed impossible for anyone to
+have opened it, granting they knew the secret of its lock, even before
+Erich jumped on it and put it in the limelight double. But when you've
+ruled out everything else, the word impossible changes meaning.
+
+Since time travel is our business, a person might think of all sorts of
+tricks for sending the Maintainer into the past or future, permanently
+or temporarily. But the Place is strictly on the Big Time and everybody
+that should know tells me that time traveling _through_ the Big Time is
+out. It's this way: the Big Time is a train, and the Little Time is the
+countryside and we're on the train, unless we go out a Door, and as
+Gertie Stein might put it, you can't time travel through the time you
+time travel in when you time travel.
+
+I'd also played around with the idea of some fantastically obvious
+hiding place, maybe something that several people could pass back and
+forth between them, which would mean a conspiracy, and, of course, if
+you assume a big enough conspiracy, you can explain anything, including
+the cosmos itself. Still, I'd got a sort of shell-game idea about the
+Soldiers' three big black shakos and I hadn't been satisfied until I'd
+got the three together and looked in them all at the same time.
+
+"Wake up, Greta, and take something. I can't stand here forever." Maud
+had brought us a tray of hearty snacks from then and yon, and I must say
+they were tempting; she whips up a mean hors d'oeuvre.
+
+I looked them over and said, "Siddy, I want a hot dog."
+
+"And I want a venison pasty! Out upon you, you finical jill, you
+o'erscrupulous jade, you whimsic and tyrannous poppet!"
+
+I grabbed a handful and snuggled back against him.
+
+"Go on, call me some more, Siddy," I told him. "Real juicy ones."
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER 10
+
+ My thought, whose murder yet is but fantastical,
+ Shakes so my single state of man that function
+ Is smother'd in surmise, and nothing is
+ But what is not.
+
+ --Macbeth
+
+MOTIVES AND OPPORTUNITIES
+
+
+My big bad waif from King's Lynn had set the tray on his knees and
+started to wolf the food down. The others were finishing up. Erich, Mark
+and Kaby were having a quietly furious argument I couldn't overhear at
+the end of the bar nearest the bronze chest, and Illy was draped over
+the piano like a real octopus, listening in.
+
+Beau and Sevensee were pacing up and down near the control divan and
+throwing each other a word now and then. Beyond them, Bruce and Lili
+were sitting on the opposite couch from us, talking earnestly about
+something. Maud had sat down at the other end of the bar and was
+knitting--it's one of the habits like chess and quiet drinking, or
+learning to talk by squeak box, that we pick up to pass the time in the
+Place in the long stretches between parties. Doc was fiddling around the
+Gallery, picking things up and setting them down, still managing to stay
+on his feet at any rate.
+
+ * * * * *
+
+Lili and Bruce stood up, still gabbing intensely at each other, and Illy
+began to pick out with one tentacle a little tune in the high keys that
+didn't sound like anything on God's earth. "Where do they get all the
+energy?" I wondered.
+
+As soon as I asked myself that, I knew the answer and I began to feel
+the same way myself. It wasn't energy; it was nerves, pure and simple.
+
+Change is like a drug, I realized--you get used to the facts never
+staying the same, and one picture of the past and future dissolving into
+another maybe not very different but still different, and your mind
+being constantly goosed by strange moods and notions, like nightclub
+lights of shifting color with weird shadows between shining right on
+your brain.
+
+The endless swaying and jogging is restful, like riding on a train.
+
+You soon get to like the movement and to need it without knowing, and
+when it suddenly stops and you're just you and the facts you think from
+and feel from are exactly the same when you go back to them--boy, that's
+rough, as I found out now.
+
+The instant we got Introverted, everything that ordinarily leaks into
+the Place, wake or sleep, had stopped coming, and we were nothing but
+ourselves and what we meant to each other and what we could make of
+that, an awfully lonely, scratchy situation.
+
+I decided I felt like I'd been dropped into a swimming pool full of
+cement and held under until it hardened.
+
+I could understand the others bouncing around a bit. It was a wonder
+they didn't hit the Void. Maud seemed to be standing it the best; maybe
+she'd got a little preparation from the long watches between stars; and
+then she is older than all of us, even Sid, though with a small "o" in
+"older."
+
+ * * * * *
+
+The restless work of the search for the Maintainer had masked the
+feeling, but now it was beginning to come full force. Before the search,
+Bruce's speech and Erich's interruptions had done a passable masking job
+too. I tried to remember when I'd first got the feeling and decided it
+was after Erich had jumped on the bomb, about the time he mentioned
+poetry. Though I couldn't be sure. Maybe the Maintainer had been
+Introverted even earlier, when I'd turned to look at the Ghostgirls. I
+wouldn't have known. Nuts!
+
+Believe me, I could feel that hardened cement on every inch of me. I
+remembered Bruce's beautiful picture of a universe without Big Change
+and decided it was about the worst idea going. I went on eating, though
+I wasn't so sure now it was a good idea to keep myself strong.
+
+"Does the Maintainer have an Introversion telltale? Siddy!"
+
+"'Sdeath, chit, and you love me, speak lower. Of a sudden, I feel not
+well, as if I'd drunk a butt of Rhenish and slept inside it. Marry yes,
+blue. In short flashes, saith the manual. Why ask'st thou?"
+
+"No reason. God, Siddy, what I'd give for a breath of Change Wind."
+
+"Thou can'st say that eftsoons," he groaned. I must have looked pretty
+miserable myself, for he put his arm around my shoulders and whispered
+gruffly, "Comfort thyself, sweetling, that while we suffer thus sorely,
+we yet cannot die the Change Death."
+
+"What's that?" I asked him.
+
+I didn't want to bounce around like the others. I had a suspicion I'd
+carry it too far. So, to keep myself from going batty, I started to
+rework the business of who had done what to the Maintainer.
+
+During the hunt, there had been some pretty wild suggestions tossed
+around as to its disappearance or at least its Introversion: a feat of
+Snake science amounting to sorcery; the Spider high command bunkering
+the Places from above, perhaps in reaction to the loss of the Express
+Room, in such a hurry that they hadn't even time to transmit warnings;
+the hand of the Late Cosmicians, those mysterious hypothetical beings
+who are supposed to have successfully resisted the extension of the
+Change War into the future much beyond Sevensee's epoch--unless the Late
+Cosmicians are the ones fighting the Change War.
+
+One thing these suggestions had steered very clear of was naming any one
+of us as a suspect, whether acting as Snake spy, Spider political
+police, agent of--who knows, after Bruce?--a secret Change World
+Committee of Public Safety or Spider revolutionary underground, or
+strictly on our own. Just as no one had piped a word, since the
+Maintainer had been palmed, about the split between Erich's and Bruce's
+factions.
+
+Good group thinking probably, to sink differences in the emergency, but
+that didn't apply to what I did with my own thoughts.
+
+ * * * * *
+
+Who wanted to escape so bad they'd Introvert the Place, cutting off all
+possible contact and communication either way with the cosmos and
+running the very big risk of not getting back to the cosmos at all?
+
+Leaving out what had happened since Bruce had arrived and stirred things
+up, Doc seemed to me to have the strongest motive. He knew that Sid
+couldn't keep covering up for him forever and that Spider punishments
+for derelictions of duty are not just the clink of a firing squad, as
+Erich had reminded us. But Doc had been flat on the floor in front of
+the bar from the time Bruce had jumped on top of it, though I certainly
+hadn't had my eye on him every second.
+
+Beau? Beau had said he was bored with the Place at a time when what he
+said counted, so he'd hardly lock himself in it maybe forever, not to
+mention locking Bruce in with himself and the babe he had a yen for.
+
+Sid loves reality, Changing or not, and every least thing in it, people
+especially, more than any man or woman I've ever known--he's like a
+big-eyed baby who wants to grab every object and put it in his
+mouth--and it was hard to imagine him ever cutting himself off from the
+cosmos.
+
+Maud, Kaby, Mark and the two ETs? None of them had any motive I knew of,
+though Sevensee's being from the very far future did tie in with that
+idea about the Late Cosmicians, and there did seem to be something
+developing between the Cretan and the Roman that could make them want to
+be Introverted together.
+
+"Stick to the facts, Greta," I reminded myself with a private groan.
+
+That left Erich, Bruce, Lili and myself.
+
+Erich, I thought--now we're getting somewhere. The little commandant has
+the nervous system of a coyote and the courage of a crazy tomcat, and if
+he thought it would help him settle his battle with Bruce better to be
+locked in with him, he'd do it in a second.
+
+But even before Erich had danced on the bomb, he'd been heckling Bruce
+from the crowd. Still, there would have been time between heckles for
+him to step quietly back from us, Introvert the Maintainer and ... well,
+that was nine-tenths of the problem.
+
+If I was the guilty party, I was nuts and that was the best explanation
+of all. Gr-r-r!
+
+Bruce's motives seemed so obvious, especially the mortal (or was it
+immortal?) danger he'd put himself in by inciting mutiny, that it seemed
+a shame he'd been in full view on the bar so long. Surely, if the
+Maintainer had been Introverted before he jumped on the bar, we'd all
+have noticed the flashing blue telltale. For that matter, I'd have
+noticed it when I looked back at the Ghostgirls--if it worked as Sid
+claimed, and he said he had never seen it in operation, just read in the
+manual--oh, 'sdeath!
+
+ * * * * *
+
+But Bruce didn't need opportunity, as I'm sure all the males in
+the Place would have told me right off, because he had Lili to
+pull the job for him and she had as much opportunity as any of
+the rest of us. Myself, I have large reservations to this
+woman-putty-in-the-hands-of-the-man-she-loves-madly theory, but I had to
+admit there was something to be said for it in this case, and it had
+seemed quite natural to me when the rest of us had decided, by unspoken
+agreement, that neither Lili's nor Bruce's checks counted when we were
+hunting for the Maintainer.
+
+That took care of all of us and left only the mysterious stranger,
+intruding somehow through a Door (how'd he get it without using our
+Maintainer?) or from an unimaginable hiding place or straight out of the
+Void itself. I know that last is impossible--nothing can step out of
+nothing--but if anything ever looked like it was specially built for
+something not at all nice to come looming out of, it's the Void--misty,
+foggily churning, slimy gray....
+
+"Wait a second," I told myself, "and hang onto this, Greta. It should
+have smacked you in the face at the start."
+
+Whatever came out of the Void, or, more to the point, whoever slipped
+back from our crowd to the Maintainer, Bruce would have seen them. He
+was looking at the Maintainer past our heads the whole time, and
+whatever happened to it, he saw it.
+
+Erich wouldn't have, even after he was on the bomb, because he'd been
+stagewise enough to face Bruce most of the time to build up his role as
+tribune of the people.
+
+But Bruce would have--unless he got so caught up in what he was
+saying....
+
+No, kid, a Demon is always an actor, no matter how much he believes in
+what he's saying, and there never was an actor yet who wouldn't
+instantly notice a member of the audience starting to walk out on his
+big scene.
+
+So Bruce knew, which made him a better actor than I'd have been willing
+to grant, since it didn't look as if anyone else had thought of what had
+just occurred to me, or they'd have gone over and put it to him.
+
+Not me, though--I don't work that way. Besides, I didn't feel up to
+it--Nervy Anna enfold me, I felt like pure hell.
+
+"Maybe," I told myself encouragingly, "the Place is Hell," but added,
+"Be your age, Greta--be a real rootless, ruleless, ruthless
+twenty-nine."
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER 11
+
+ The barrage roars and lifts. Then, clumsily bowed
+ With bombs and guns and shovels and battle gear,
+ Men jostle and climb to meet the bristling fire.
+ Lines of gray, muttering faces, masked with fear,
+ They leave their trenches, going over the top,
+ While time ticks blank and busy on their wrists
+
+ --Sassoon
+
+THE WESTERN FRONT, 1917
+
+
+"Please don't, Lili."
+
+"I shall, my love."
+
+"Sweetling, wake up! Hast the shakes?"
+
+I opened my eyes a little and lied to Siddy with a smile and locked my
+hands together tight and watched Bruce and Lili quarrel nobly near the
+control divan and wished I had a great love to blur my misery and
+provide me with a passable substitute for Change Winds.
+
+Lili won the argument, judging from the way she threw her head back and
+stepped away from Bruce's arms while giving him a proud, tender smile.
+He walked off a few steps; praise be, he didn't shrug his shoulders at
+us like an old husband, though his nerves were showing and he didn't
+seem to be standing Introversion well at all, as who of us were?
+
+Lili rested a hand on the head of the control divan and pressed her lips
+together and looked around at us, mostly with her eyes. She'd wound a
+gray silk bandeau around her bangs. Her short gray silk dress without a
+waistline made her look, not so much like a flapper, though she looked
+like that all right, as like a little girl, except the neckline was
+scooped low enough to show she wasn't.
+
+Her gaze hesitated and then stopped at me and I got a sunk feeling of
+what was coming, because women are always picking on me for an audience.
+Besides, Sid and I were the centrist party of two in our
+fresh-out-of-the-shell Place politics.
+
+She took a deep breath and stuck out her chin and said in a voice that
+was even a little higher and Britisher than she usually uses, "We girls
+have often cried, 'Shut the Door!' But now the Door is jolly well shut
+for keeps!"
+
+I knew I'd guessed right and I felt crawly with embarrassment, because I
+know about this love business of thinking you're the other person and
+trying to live their life--and grab their glory, though you don't know
+that--and carry their message for them, and how it can foul things up.
+Still, I couldn't help admitting what she said wasn't too bad a
+start--unpleasantly apt to be true, at any rate.
+
+"My fiance believes we may yet be able to open the Door. I do not. He
+thinks it is a bit premature to discuss the peculiar pickle in which we
+all find ourselves. I do not."
+
+There was a rasp of laughter from the bar. The militarists were
+reacting. Erich stepped out, looking very happy. "So now we have to
+listen to women making speeches," he called. "What is this Place,
+anyhow? Sidney Lessingham's Saturday Evening Sewing Circle?"
+
+ * * * * *
+
+Beau and Sevensee, who'd stopped their pacing halfway between the bar
+and the control divan, turned toward Erich, and Sevensee looked a little
+burlier, a little more like half a horse, than satyrs in mythology book
+illustrations. He stamped--medium hard, I'd say--and said, "Ahh, go flya
+kite." I'd found out he'd learned English from a Demon who'd been a
+longshoreman with syndicalist-anarchist sympathies. Erich shut up for a
+moment and stood there grinning, his hands on his hips.
+
+Lili nodded to the satyr and cleared her throat, looking scared. But she
+didn't speak; I could see she was thinking and feeling something, and
+her face got ugly and haggard, as if she were in a Change Wind that
+hadn't reached me yet, and her mouth went into a snarl to fight tears,
+but some spurted out, and when she did speak her voice was an octave
+lower and it wasn't just London talking but New York too.
+
+"I don't know how Resurrection felt to you people, because I'm new and I
+loathe asking questions, but to me it was pure torture and I wished only
+I'd had the courage to tell Suzaku, 'I wish to remain a Zombie, if you
+don't mind. I'd rather the nightmares.' But I accepted Resurrection
+because I've been taught to be polite and because there is the Demon in
+me I don't understand that always wishes to live, and I found that I
+still felt like a Zombie, although I could flit about, and that I still
+had the nightmares, except they'd grown a deal vivider.
+
+"I was a young girl again, seventeen, and I suppose every woman wishes
+to be seventeen, but I wasn't seventeen inside my head--I was a woman
+who had died of Bright's disease in New York in 1929 and also, because a
+Big Change blew my lifeline into a new drift, a woman who had died of
+the same disease in Nazi-occupied London in 1955, but rather more slowly
+because, as you can fancy, the liquor was in far shorter supply. I had
+to live with both those sets of memories and the Change World didn't
+blot them out any more than I'm told it does those of any Demon, and it
+didn't even push them into the background as I'd hoped it would.
+
+"When some Change Fellow would say to me, 'Hallo, beautiful, how about a
+smile?' or 'That's a posh frock, kiddo,' I'd be back at Bellevue looking
+down at my swollen figure and the light getting like spokes of ice, or
+in that dreadful gin-steeped Stepney bedroom with Phyllis coughing
+herself to death beside me, or at best, for a moment, a little girl in
+Glamorgan looking at the Roman road and wondering about the wonderful
+life that lay ahead."
+
+ * * * * *
+
+I looked at Erich, remembering he had a long nasty future back in the
+cosmos himself, and at any rate he wasn't smiling, and I thought maybe
+he's getting a little humility, knowing someone else has two of those
+futures, but I doubted it.
+
+"Because, you see," Lili kept forcing it out, "all my three lives I'd
+been a girl who fell in love with a great young poet she'd never met,
+the voice of the new youth and all youth, and she'd told her first big
+lie to get in the Red Cross and across to France to be nearer him, and
+it was all danger and dark magics and a knight in armor, and she
+pictured how she'd find him wounded but not seriously, with a little
+bandage around his head, and she'd light a fag for him and smile
+lightly, never letting him guess what she felt, but only being her best
+self and watching to see if that made something happen to him....
+
+"And then the Boche machine guns cut him down at Passchendaele and there
+couldn't ever have been bandages big enough and the girl stayed
+seventeen inside and messed about and tried to be wicked, though she
+wasn't very good at that, and to drink, and she had a bit more talent
+there, though drinking yourself to death is not nearly as easy as it
+sounds, even with a kidney weakness to help. But she turned the trick.
+
+"Then a cock crows. She wakes with a tearing start from the gray dreams
+of death that fill her lifeline. It's cold daybreak. There's the smell
+of a French farm. She feels her ankles and they're not at all like huge
+rubber boots filled with water. They're not swollen the least bit.
+They're young legs.
+
+"There's a little window and the tops of a row of trees that may be
+poplars when there's more light, and what there is shows cots like her
+own and heads under blankets, and hanging uniforms make large shadows
+and a girl is snoring. There's a very distant rumble and it moves the
+window a bit. Then she remembers they're Red Cross girls many, many
+kilometers from Passchendaele and that Bruce Marchant is going to die at
+dawn today.
+
+"In a few more minutes, he's going over the top where there's a
+crop-headed machine-gunner in field gray already looking down the sights
+and swinging the gun a bit. But she isn't going to die today. She's
+going to die in 1929 and 1955.
+
+"And just as she's going mad, there's a creaking and out of the shadows
+tiptoes a Jap with a woman's hairdo and the whitest face and the
+blackest eyebrows. He's wearing a rose robe and a black sash which belts
+to his sides two samurai swords, but in his right hand he has a strange
+silver pistol. And he smiles at her as if they were brother and sister
+and lovers at the same time and he says, '_Voulez-vous vivre,
+mademoiselle?_' and she stares and he bobs his head and says, 'Missy
+wish live, yes, no?'"
+
+[Illustration]
+
+ * * * * *
+
+Sid's paw closed quietly around my shaking hands. It always gets me to
+hear about anyone's Resurrection, and although mine was crazier, it also
+had the Krauts in it. I hoped she wouldn't go through the rest of the
+formula and she didn't.
+
+"Five minutes later, he's gone down a stairs more like a ladder to wait
+below and she's dressing in a rush. Her clothes resist a little, as if
+they were lightly gummed to the hook and the stained wall, and she hates
+to touch them. It's getting lighter and her cot looks as if someone were
+still sleeping there, although it's empty, and she couldn't bring
+herself to put her hand on the place if her new life depended on it.
+
+"She climbs down and her long skirt doesn't bother her because she knows
+how to swing it. Suzaku conducts her past a sentry who doesn't see them
+and a puffy-faced farmer in a smock coughing and spitting the night out
+of his throat. They cross the farmyard and it's filled with rose light
+and she sees the sun is up and she knows that Bruce Marchant has just
+bled to death.
+
+"There's an empty open touring car chugging loudly, waiting for someone;
+it has huge muddy wheels with wooden spokes and a brass radiator that
+says 'Simplex.' But Suzaku leads her past it to a dunghill and bows
+apologetically and she steps through a Door."
+
+I heard Erich say to the others at the bar, "How touching! Now shall I
+tell everyone about my operation?" But he didn't get much of a laugh.
+
+"That's how Lilian Foster came into the Change World with its
+steel-engraved nightmares and its deadly pace and deadlier lassitudes. I
+was more alive than I ever had been before, but it was the kind of life
+a corpse might get from unending electrical shocks and I couldn't summon
+any purpose or hope and Bruce Marchant seemed farther away than ever.
+
+"Then, not six hours ago, a Soldier in a black uniform came through the
+Door and I thought, 'It can't be, but it does look like his
+photographs,' and then I thought I heard someone say the name Bruce, and
+then he shouted as if to all the world that he was Bruce Marchant, and I
+knew there was a Resurrection beyond Resurrection, a true resurrection.
+Oh, Bruce--"
+
+She looked at him and he was crying and smiling and all the young beauty
+flooded back into her face, and I thought, "It has to be Change Winds,
+but it can't be. Face it without slobbering, Greta--there's something
+that works bigger miracles than Change."
+
+And she went on, "And then the Change Winds died when the Snakes
+vaporized the Maintainer or the Ghostgirls Introverted it and all three
+of them vanished so swiftly and silently that even Bruce didn't
+notice--those are the best explanations I can summon and I fancy one of
+them is true. At all events, the Change Winds died and my past and even
+my futures became something I could bear lightly, because I have someone
+to bear them with me, and because at last I have a true future
+stretching out ahead of me, an unknown future which I shall create by
+living. Oh, don't you see that all of us have it now, this big
+opportunity?"
+
+"_Hussa_ for Sidney's suffragettes and the W.C.T.U.!" Erich cheered.
+"Beau, will you play us a medley of 'Hearts and Flowers' and 'Onward,
+Christian Soldiers'? I'm deeply moved, Lili. Where do the rest of us
+queue up for the Great Love Affair of the Century?"
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER 12
+
+ Now is a bearable burden. What buckles the back is the added weight
+ of the past's mistakes and the future's fears.
+
+ I had to learn to close the front door to tomorrow and the back door
+ to yesterday and settle down to here and now.
+
+ --Anonymous
+
+A BIG OPPORTUNITY
+
+
+Nobody laughed at Erich's screwball sarcasms and still I thought, "Yes,
+perish his hysterical little gray head, but he's half right--Lili's got
+the big thing now and she wants to serve it up to the rest of us on a
+platter, only love doesn't cook and cut that way."
+
+Those weren't bad ideas she had about the Maintainer, though, especially
+the one about the Ghostgirls doing the Introverting--it would explain
+why there couldn't be Introversion drill, the manual stuff about blue
+flashes being window-dressing, and something disappearing without
+movement or transition is the sort of thing that might not catch the
+attention--and I guess they gave the others something to think about
+too, for there wasn't any follow-up to Erich's frantic sniping.
+
+But I honestly didn't see where there was this big opportunity being
+stuck away in a gray sack in the Void and I began to wonder and I got
+the strangest feeling and I said to myself, "Hang onto your hat, Greta.
+It's hope."
+
+"The dreadful thing about being a Demon is that you have all time to
+range through," Lili was saying with a smile. "You can never shut the
+back door to yesterday or the front door to tomorrow and simply live in
+the present. But now that's been done for us: the Door is shut, we need
+never again rehash the past or the future. The Spiders and Snakes can
+never find us, for who ever heard of a Place that was truly lost being
+rescued? And as those in the know have told me, Introversion is the end
+as far as those outside are concerned. So we're safe from the Spiders
+and Snakes, we need never be slaves or enemies again, and we have a
+Place in which to live our new lives, the Place prepared for us from the
+beginning."
+
+She paused. "Surely you understand what I mean? Sidney and Beauregard
+and Dr. Pyeshkov are the ones who explained it to me. The Place is a
+balanced aquarium, just like the cosmos. No one knows how many ages of
+Big Time it has been in use, without a bit of new material being brought
+in--only luxuries and people--and not a bit of waste cast off. No one
+knows how many more ages it may not sustain life. I never heard of Minor
+Maintainers wearing out. We have all the future, all the security,
+anyone can hope for. We have a Place to live together."
+
+ * * * * *
+
+You know, she was dead right and I realized that all the time I'd had
+the conviction in the back of my mind that we were going to suffocate or
+something if we didn't get a Door open pretty quick. I should have known
+differently, if anybody should, because I'd once been in the Place
+without a Door for as long as a hundred sleeps during a foxhole stretch
+of the Change War and we'd had to start cycling our food and it had been
+okay.
+
+And then, because it is also the way my mind works, I started to picture
+in a flash the consequences of our living together all by ourselves like
+Lili said.
+
+I began to pair people off; I couldn't help it. Let's see, four women,
+six men, two ETs.
+
+"Greta," I said, "you're going to be Miss Polly Andry for sure. We'll
+have a daily newspaper and folk-dancing classes, we'll shut the bar
+except evenings, Bruce'll keep a rhymed history of the Place."
+
+I even thought, though I knew this part was strictly silly, about
+schools and children. I wondered what Siddy's would look like, or my
+little commandant's. "Don't go near the Void, dears." Of course that
+would be specially hard on the two ETs, but Sevensee at least wasn't so
+different and the genetics boys had made some wonderful advances and
+Maud ought to know about them and there were some amazing gadgets in
+Surgery when Doc sobered up. The patter of little hoofs ...
+
+"My fiance spoke to you about carrying a peace message to the rest of
+the cosmos," Lili added, "and bringing an end to the Big Change, and
+healing all the wounds that have been made in the Little Time."
+
+I looked at Bruce. His face was set and strained, as will happen to the
+best of them when a girl starts talking about her man's business, and I
+don't know why, but I said to myself, "She's crucifying him, she's
+nailing him to his purpose as a woman will, even when there's not much
+point to it, as now."
+
+And Lili went on, "It was a wonderful thought, but now we cannot carry
+or send any message and I believe it is too late in any event for a
+peace message to do any good. The cosmos is too raveled by change, too
+far gone. It will dissolve, fade, 'leave not a rack behind.' We're the
+survivors. The torch of existence has been put in our hands.
+
+"We may already be all that's left in the cosmos, for have you thought
+that the Change Winds may have died at their source? We may never reach
+another cosmos, we may drift forever in the Void, but who of us has been
+Introverted before and who knows what we can or cannot do? We're a seed
+for a new future to grow from. Perhaps all doomed universes cast off
+seeds like this Place. It's a seed, it's an embryo, let it grow."
+
+She looked swiftly at Bruce and then at Sid and she quoted, "'Come, my
+friends, 'tis not too late to seek a newer world'."
+
+ * * * * *
+
+I squeezed Sid's hand and I started to say something to him, but he
+didn't know I was there; he was listening to Lili quote Tennyson with
+his eyes entranced and his mouth open, as if he were imagining new
+things to put into it--oh, Siddy!
+
+And then I saw the others were looking at her the same way. Ilhilihis
+was seeing finer feather forests than long-dead Luna's grow. The
+greenhouse child Maud ap-Ares Davies was stowing away on a starship
+bound for another galaxy, or thinking how different her life might have
+been, the children she might have had, if she'd stayed on the planets
+and out of the Change World. Even Erich looked as though he might be
+blitzing new universes, and Mark subduing them, for an eight-legged
+_Fuehrer-imperator_. Beau was throbbing up a wider Mississippi in a
+bigger-than-life sidewheeler.
+
+Even I--well, I wasn't dreaming of a Greater Chicago. "Let's not go
+hog-wild on this sort of thing," I told myself, but I did look up at the
+Void and I got a shiver because I imagined it drawing away and the whole
+Place starting to grow.
+
+"I truly meant what I said about a seed," Lili went on slowly. "I know,
+as you all do, that there are no children in the Change World, that
+there cannot be, that we all become instantly sterile, that what they
+call a curse is lifted from us girls and we are no longer in bondage to
+the moon."
+
+She was right, all right--if there's one thing that's been proved a
+million times in the Change World, it's that.
+
+"But we are no longer in the Change World," Lili said softly, "and its
+limitations should no longer apply to us, including that one. I feel
+deeply certain of it, but--" she looked around slowly--"we are four
+women here and I thought one of us might have a surer indication."
+
+My eyes followed hers around like anybody's would. In fact, everybody
+was looking around except Maud, and she had the silliest look of
+surprise on her face and it stayed there, and then, very carefully, she
+got down from the bar stool with her knitting. She looked at the
+half-finished pink bra with the long white needles stuck in it and her
+eyes bugged bigger yet, as if she were expecting it to turn into a baby
+sweater right then and there. Then she walked across the Place to Lili
+and stood beside her. While she was walking, the look of surprise
+changed to a quiet smile. The only other thing she did was throw her
+shoulders back a little.
+
+I was jealous of her for a second, but it was a double miracle for her,
+considering her age, and I couldn't grudge her that. And to tell the
+truth, I was a little frightened, too. Even with Dave, I'd been bothered
+about this business of having babies.
+
+ * * * * *
+
+Yet I stood up with Siddy--I couldn't stop myself and I guess he
+couldn't either--and hand in hand we walked to the control divan. Beau
+and Sevensee were there and Bruce, of course, and then, so help me,
+those Soldiers to the death, Kaby and Mark, started over from the bar
+and I couldn't see anything in their eyes about the greater glory of
+Crete and Rome, but something, I think, about each other, and after a
+moment Illy slowly detached himself from the piano and followed, lightly
+trailing his tentacles on the floor.
+
+I couldn't exactly see him hoping for little Illies in this company,
+unless it was true what the jokes said about Lunans, but maybe he was
+being really disinterested and maybe he wasn't; maybe he was simply
+figuring that Illy ought to be on the side with the biggest battalions.
+
+I heard dragging footsteps behind us and here came Doc from the Gallery,
+carrying in his folded arms an abstract sculpture as big as a newborn
+baby. It was an agglomeration of perfect shiny gray spheres the size of
+golf balls, shaping up to something like a large brain, but with holes
+showing through here and there. He held it out to us like an infant to
+be admired and worked his lips and tongue as if he were trying very hard
+to say something, though not a word came out that you could understand,
+and I thought, "Maxey Aleksevich may be speechless drunk and have all
+sorts of holes in his head, but he's got the right instincts, bless his
+soulful little Russian heart."
+
+We were all crowded around the control divan like a football team
+huddling. The Peace Packers, it came to me. Sevensee would be fullback
+or center and Illy left end--what a receiver! The right number, too.
+Erich was alone at the bar, but now even he--"Oh, no, this can't be," I
+thought--even he came toward us. Then I saw that his face was working
+the worst ever. He stopped halfway and managed to force a smile, but it
+was the worst, too. "That's my little commandant," I thought, "no team
+spirit."
+
+"So now Lili and Bruce--yes, and _Grossmutterchen_ Maud--have their
+little nest," he said, and he wouldn't have had to push his voice very
+hard to get a screech. "But what are the rest of us supposed to
+be--cowbirds?"
+
+ * * * * *
+
+He crooked his neck and flapped his hands and croaked, "Cuc-koo!
+Cuc-koo!" And I said to myself, "I often thought you were crazy, boy,
+but now I know."
+
+"_Teufelsdreck!_--yes, Devil's dirt!--but you all seem to be infected
+with this dream of children. Can't you see that the Change World is the
+natural and proper end of evolution?--a period of enjoyment and
+measuring, an ultimate working out of things, which women call
+destruction--'Help, I'm being raped!' 'Oh, what are they doing to my
+children?'--but which men know as fulfillment.
+
+"You're given good parts in _Goetterdaemmerung_ and you go up to the
+author and tap him on the shoulder and say, 'Excuse me, Herr Wagner, but
+this Twilight of the Gods is just a bit morbid. Why don't you write an
+opera for me about the little ones, the dear little blue-eyed
+curly-tops? A plot? Oh, boy meets girl and they settle down to breed,
+something like that.'
+
+"Devil's dirt doubled and damned! Have you thought what life will
+be like without a Door to go out of to find freedom and adventure,
+to measure your courage and keenness? Do you want to grow long gray
+beards hobbling around this asteroid turned inside out? Putter around
+indoors to the end of your days, mooning about little baby
+cosmoses?--incidentally, with a live bomb for company. The cave, the
+womb, the little gray home in the nest--is that what you want? It'll
+grow? Oh, yes, like the city engulfing the wild wood, a proliferation
+of _Kinder_, _Kirche_, _Kueche_--I should live so long!
+
+"Women!--how I hate their bright eyes as they look at me from the
+fireside, bent-shouldered, rocking, deeply happy to be old, and say,
+'He's getting weak, he's giving out, soon I'll have to put him to bed
+and do the simplest things for him.' Your filthy Triple Goddess, Kaby,
+the birther, bride, and burier of man! Woman, the enfeebler, the
+fetterer, the crippler! Woman!--and the curly-headed little cancers she
+wants!"
+
+He lurched toward us, pointing at Lili. "I never knew one who didn't
+want to cripple a man if you gave her the chance. Cripple him, swaddle
+him, clip his wings, grind him to sausage to mold another man, hers, a
+doll man. You hid the Maintainer, you little smother-hen, so you could
+have your nest and your Brucie!"
+
+He stopped, gasping, and I expected someone to bop him one on the
+schnozzle, and I think he did, too. I turned to Bruce and he was
+looking, I don't know how, sorry, guilty, anxious, angry, shaken,
+inspired, all at once, and I wished people sometimes had simple suburban
+reactions like magazine stories.
+
+Then Erich made the mistake, if it was one, of turning toward Bruce and
+slowly staggering toward him, pawing the air with his hands as if he
+were going to collapse into his arms, and saying, "Don't let them get
+you, Bruce. Don't let them tie you down. Don't let them clip you--your
+words or your deeds. You're a Soldier. Even when you talked about a
+peace message, you talked about doing some smashing of your own. No
+matter what you think and feel, Bruce, no matter how much lying you do
+and how much you hide, you're really not on their side."
+
+That did it.
+
+ * * * * *
+
+It didn't come soon enough or, I think, in the right spirit to please
+me, but I will say it for Bruce that he didn't muck it up by tipping or
+softening his punch. He took one step forward and his shoulders spun and
+his fist connected sweet and clean.
+
+As he did it, he said only one word, "Loki!" and darn if that didn't
+switch me back to a campfire in the Indiana Dunes and my mother telling
+me out of the Elder Saga about the malicious, sneering, all-spoiling
+Norse god and how, when the other gods came to trap him in his hideaway
+by the river, he was on the point of finishing knotting a mysterious net
+big enough, I had imagined, to snare the whole universe, and that if
+they'd come a minute later, he would have.
+
+Erich was stretched on the floor, his head hitched up, rubbing his jaw
+and glaring at Bruce. Mark, who was standing beside me, moved a little
+and I thought he was going to do something, maybe even clobber Bruce in
+the old spirit of you can't do that to my buddy, but he just shook his
+head and said, "_Omnia vincit amor._" I nudged him and said, "Meaning?"
+and he said, "Love licks everything."
+
+I'd never have expected it from a Roman, but he was half right at any
+rate. Lili had her victory: Bruce clearing the field for the marriage by
+laying out the woman-hating boy friend who would be trying to get him to
+go out nights. At that moment, I think Bruce wanted Lili and a life with
+her more than he wanted to reform the Change World. Sure, us women have
+our little victories--until the legions come or the Little Corporal
+draws up his artillery or the Panzers roar down the road.
+
+Erich scrambled to his feet and stood there in a half-slump,
+half-crouch, still rubbing his jaw and glaring at Bruce over his hand,
+but making no move to continue the fight, and I studied his face and
+said to myself, "If he can get a gun, he's going to shoot himself, I
+know."
+
+Bruce started to say something and hesitated, like I would have in his
+shoes, and just then Doc got one of his unpredictable inspirations and
+went weaving out toward Erich, holding out the sculpture and making
+deaf-and-dumb noises like he had to us. Erich looked at him as if he
+were going to kill him, and then grabbed the sculpture and swung it up
+over his head and smashed it down on the floor, and for a wonder, it
+didn't shatter. It just skidded along in one piece and stopped inches
+from my feet.
+
+That thing not breaking must have been the last straw for Erich. I swear
+I could see the red surge up through his eyes toward his brain. He swung
+around into the Stores sector and ran the few steps between him and the
+bronze bomb chest.
+
+Everything got very slow motion for me, though I didn't do any moving.
+Almost every man started out after Erich. Bruce didn't, though, and
+Siddy turned back after the first surge forward, while Illy squunched
+down for a leap, and it was between Sevensee's hairy shanks and Beau's
+scissoring white pants that I saw that under-the-microscope circle of
+death's heads and watched Erich's finger go down on them in the order
+Kaby had given: one, three, five, six, two, four, seven. I was able to
+pray seven distinct times that he'd make a mistake.
+
+He straightened up. Illy landed by the box like a huge silver spider and
+his tentacles whipped futilely across its top. The others surged to a
+frightened halt around them.
+
+Erich's chest was heaving, but his voice was cool and collected as he
+said, "You mentioned something about our having a future, Miss Foster.
+Now you can make that more specific. Unless we get back to the cosmos
+and dump this box, or find a Spider A-tech, or manage to call
+headquarters for guidance on disarming the bomb, we have a future
+exactly thirty minutes long."
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER 13
+
+ But whence he was, or of what wombe ybore,
+ Of beasts, or of the earth, I have not red:
+ But certes was with milke of wolves and tygres fed.
+
+ --Spenser
+
+THE TIGER IS LOOSE
+
+
+I guess when they really push the button or throw the switch or spring
+the trap or focus the beam or what have you, you don't faint or go crazy
+or anything else convenient. I didn't. Everything, everybody, every move
+that was made, every word that was spoken, was painfully real to me,
+like a hand twisting and squeezing things deep inside me, and I saw
+every least detail spotlighted and magnified like I had the seven
+skulls.
+
+Erich was standing beyond the bomb chest; little smiles were ruffling
+his lips. I'd never seen him look so sharp. Illy was beside him, but not
+on his side, you understand. Mark, Sevensee and Beau were around the
+chest to the nearer side. Beau had dropped to a knee and was scanning
+the chest minutely, terror-under-control making him bend his head a
+little closer than he needed to for clear vision, but with his hands
+locked together behind his back, I guess to restrain the impulse to push
+any and everything that looked like a disarming button.
+
+Doc was sprawled face down on the nearest couch, out like a light, I
+suppose.
+
+Us four girls were still by the control divan. With Kaby, that surprised
+me, because she didn't look scared or frozen, but almost as intensely
+alive as Erich.
+
+Sid had turned back, as I'd said, and had one hand stretched out toward
+but not touching the Minor Maintainer, and a look on his beardy face as
+if he were calling down death and destruction on every boozy rogue who
+had ever gone up from King's Lynn to Cambridge and London, and I
+realized why: if he'd thought of the Minor Maintainer a second sooner,
+he could have pinned Erich down with heavy gravity before he could touch
+the buttons.
+
+Bruce was resting one hand on the head of the control divan and was
+looking toward the group around the chest, toward Erich, I think, as if
+Erich had done something rather wonderful for him, though I can't
+imagine myself being tickled at being included in anybody's suicide
+surprise party. Bruce looked altogether too dreamy, Brahma blast him,
+for someone who must have the same steel-spiked thought in his head that
+I know darn well the rest of us had: that in twenty-nine minutes or so,
+the Place would be a sun in a bag.
+
+ * * * * *
+
+Erich was the first to get down to business, as I'd have laid any odds
+he would be. He had the jump on us and he wasn't going to lose it.
+
+"Well, when are you going to start getting Lili to tell us where she hid
+the Maintainer? It has to be her--she was too certain it was gone
+forever when she talked. And Bruce must have seen from the bar who took
+the Maintainer, and who would he cover up for but his girl?"
+
+There he was plagiarizing my ideas, but I guess I was willing to sign
+them over to him in full if he got us the right pail of water for that
+time-bomb.
+
+He glanced at his wrist. "According to my Caller, you have twenty-nine
+and a half minutes, including the time it will take to get a Door or
+contact headquarters. When are you going to get busy on the girl?"
+
+Bruce laughed a little--deprecatingly, so help me--and started toward
+him. "Look here, old man," he said, "there's no need to trouble Lili, or
+to fuss with headquarters, even if you could. Really not at all. Not to
+mention that your surmises are quite unfounded, old chap, and I'm a bit
+surprised at your advancing them. But that's quite all right because, as
+it happens, I'm an atomics technician and I even worked on that very
+bomb. To disarm it, you just have to fiddle a bit with some of the
+ankhs, those hoopy little crosses. Here, let me--"
+
+Allah il allah, but it must have struck everybody as it did me as being
+just too incredible an assertion, too bloody British a bare-faced bluff,
+for Erich didn't have to say a word; Mark and Sevensee grabbed Bruce by
+the arms, one on each side, as he stooped toward the bronze chest, and
+they weren't gentle about it. Then Erich spoke.
+
+"Oh, no, Bruce. Very sporting of you to try to cover up for your girl
+friend, but we aren't going to let ourselves be blown to stripped atoms
+twenty-eight minutes too soon while you monkey with the buttons, the
+very thing Benson-Carter warned against, and pray for a guesswork
+miracle. It's too thin, Bruce, when you come from 1917 and haven't been
+on the Big Time for a hundred sleeps and were calling for an A-tech
+yourself a few hours ago. Much too thin. Bruce, something is going to
+happen that I'm afraid you won't like, but you're going to have to put
+up with it. That is, unless Miss Foster decides to be cooperative."
+
+"I say, you fellows, let me go," Bruce demanded, struggling
+experimentally. "I know it's a bit thick to swallow and I did give you
+the wrong impression calling for an A-tech, but I just wanted to capture
+your attention then; I didn't want to have to work on the bomb. Really,
+Erich, would they have ordered Benson-Carter to pick us up unless one of
+us were an A-tech? They'd be sure to include one in the bally
+operation."
+
+"When they're using patchwork tactics?" Erich grinningly quoted back at
+him.
+
+ * * * * *
+
+Kaby spoke up beside me and said, "Benson-Carter was a magician of
+matter and he was going on the operation disguised as an old woman. We
+have the cloak and hood with the other garments," and I wondered how
+this cold fish of a she-officer could be the same girl who was giving
+Mark slurpy looks not ten minutes ago.
+
+"Well?" Erich asked, glancing at his Caller and then swinging his eyes
+around at us as if there must be some of the old _Wehrmacht_ iron
+somewhere. We all found ourselves looking at Lili and she was looking so
+sharp herself, so ready to jump and so at bay, that it was all _I_
+needed, at any rate, to make Erich's theory about the Maintainer a
+rock-bottom certainty.
+
+Bruce must have realized the way our minds were working, for he started
+to struggle in earnest and at the same time called, "For God's sake,
+don't do anything to Lili! Let me loose, you idiots! Everything's true I
+told you--I can save you from that bomb. Sevensee, you took my side
+against the Spiders; you've nothing to lose. Sid, you're an Englishman.
+Beau, you're a gentleman and you love her, too--for God's sake, stop
+them!"
+
+Beau glanced up over his shoulder at Bruce and the others surging around
+close to his ankles and he had on his poker face. Sid I could tell was
+once more going through the purgatory of decision. Beau reached his own
+decision first and I'll say it for him that he acted on it fast and
+intelligently. Right from his kneeling position and before he'd even
+turned his head quite back, he jumped Erich.
+
+But other things in this cosmos besides Man can pick sides and act fast.
+Illy landed on Beau midway and whipped his tentacles around him tight
+and they went wobbling around like a drunken white-and-silver barber
+pole. Beau got his hands each around a tentacle, and at the same time
+his face began to get purple, and I winced at what they were both going
+through.
+
+Maybe Sevensee had a hoof in Sid's purgatory, because Bruce shook loose
+from the satyr and tried to knock out Mark, but the Roman twisted his
+arm and kept him from getting in a good punch.
+
+Erich didn't make a move to mix into either fight, which is my little
+commandant all over. Using his fists on anybody but me is beneath him.
+
+ * * * * *
+
+Then Sid made his choice, but there was no way for me to tell what it
+was, for, as he reached for the Minor Maintainer, Kaby contemptuously
+snatched it away from his hands and gave him a knee in the belly that
+doubled me up in sympathy and sent him sprawling on his knees toward the
+fighters. On the return, Kaby gave Lili, who'd started to grab too, an
+effortless backhand smash that set her down on the divan.
+
+Erich's face lit up like an electric sign and he kept his eyes fixed on
+Kaby.
+
+She crouched a little, carrying her weight on the balls of her feet and
+firmly cradling the Minor Maintainer in her left arm, like a basketball
+captain planning an offensive. Then she waved her free hand decisively
+to the right. I didn't get it, but Erich did and Mark too, for Erich
+jumped for the Refresher sector and Mark let go of Bruce and followed
+him, ducking around Sevensee's arms, who was coming back into the fight
+on which side I don't know. Illy un-whipped from Beau and copied Erich
+and Mark with one big spring.
+
+Then Kaby twisted a dial as far as it would go and Bruce, Beau, Sevensee
+and poor Siddy were slammed down and pinned to the floor by about eight
+gravities.
+
+It should have been lighter near us--I hoped it was, but you couldn't
+tell from watching Siddy; he went flat on his face, spread-eagled, one
+hand stretched toward me so close, I could have touched it (but not let
+go!), and his mouth was open against the floor and he was gasping
+through a corner of it and I could see his spine trying to sink through
+his belly. Bruce just managed to get his head and one shoulder up a bit,
+and they all made me think of a Dore illustration of the _Inferno_ where
+the cream of the damned are frozen up to their necks in ice in the
+innermost circle of Hell.
+
+The gravity didn't catch me, although I could feel it in my left arm. I
+was mostly in the Refresher sector, but I dropped down flat too, partly
+out of a crazy compassion I have, but mostly because I didn't want to
+take a chance of having Kaby knock me down.
+
+Erich, Mark and Illy had got clear and they headed toward us. Maud
+picked the moment to make her play; she hadn't much choice of times, if
+she wanted to make one. The Old Girl was looking it for once, but I
+guess the thought of her miracle must have survived alongside the fear
+of sacked sun and must have meant a lot to her, for she launched out
+fast, all set to straight-arm Kaby into the heavy gravity and grab the
+Minor Maintainer with the other hand.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER 14
+
+ Like diamonds, we are cut with our own dust.
+
+ --Webster
+
+"NOW WILL YOU TALK?"
+
+
+Cretans have eyes under their back hair, or let's face it, Entertainers
+aren't Soldiers. Kaby weaved to one side and flicked a helpful hand and
+poor old Maud went where she'd been going to send Kaby. It sickened me
+to see the gravity take hold and yank her down.
+
+I could have jumped up and made it four in a row for Kaby, but I'm not a
+bit brave when things like my life are at stake.
+
+Lili was starting to get up, acting a little dazed. Kaby gently pushed
+her down again and quietly said, "Where is it?" and then hauled off and
+slapped her across the face. What got me was the matter-of-fact way Kaby
+did it. I can understand somebody getting mad and socking someone, or
+even deliberately working up a rage so as to be able to do something
+nasty, but this cold-blooded way turns my stomach.
+
+Lili looked as if half her face were about to start bleeding, but she
+didn't look dazed any more and her jaw set. Kaby grabbed Lili's pearl
+necklace and twisted it around her neck and it broke and the pearls went
+bouncing around like ping-pong balls, so Kaby yanked down Lili's gray
+silk bandeau until it was around the neck and tightened that. Lili
+started to choke through her tight-pressed lips. Erich, Mark and Illy
+had come up and crowded around, but they seemed to be content with the
+job Kaby was doing.
+
+"Listen, slut," she said, "we have no time. You have a healing room in
+this place. I can work the things."
+
+"Here it comes," I thought, wishing I could faint. On top of everything,
+on top of death even, they had to drag in the nightmare personally
+stylized for me, the horror with my name on it. I wasn't going to be
+allowed to blow up peacefully. They weren't satisfied with an A-bomb.
+They had to write my private hell into the script.
+
+"There is a thing called an Invertor," Kaby said exactly as I'd known
+she would, but as I didn't really hear it just then--a mental split I'll
+explain in a moment. "It opens you up so they can cure your insides
+without cutting your skin or making you bleed anywhere. It turns the big
+parts of you inside out, but not the blood tubes. All your skin--your
+eyes, ears, nose, toes, all of it--becoming the lining of a little hole
+that's half-filled with your hair.
+
+"Meantime, your insides are exposed for whatever the healer wants to do
+to them. You live for a while on the air inside the hole. First the
+healer gives you an air that makes you sleep, or you go mad in about
+fifty heartbeats. We'll see what ten heartbeats do to you without the
+sleepy air. Now will you talk?"
+
+ * * * * *
+
+I hadn't been listening to her, though, not the real me, or I'd have
+gone mad without getting the treatment. I once heard Doc say your liver
+is more mysterious and farther away from you than the stars, because
+although you live with your liver all your life, you never see it or
+learn to point to it instinctively, and the thought of someone messing
+around with that intimate yet unknown part of you is just too awful.
+
+I knew I had to do something quick. Hell, at the first hint of
+Introversion, before Kaby had even named it, Illy had winced so that his
+tentacles were all drawn up like fat feather-sausages. Erich had looked
+at him questioningly, but that lousy Looney had un-endeared himself to
+me by squeaking, "Don't mind me, I'm just sensitive. Get on with the
+girl. Make her tell."
+
+Yes, I knew I had to do something, and here on the floor that meant
+thinking hard and in high gear about something else. The screwball
+sculpture Erich had tried to smash was a foot from my nose and I saw a
+faint trail of white stuff where it had skidded. I reached out and
+touched the trail; it was finely gritty, like powdered glass. I tipped
+up the sculpture and the part on which it had skidded wasn't marred at
+all, not even dulled; the gray spheres were as glisteningly bright as
+ever. So I knew the trail was diamond dust rubbed off the diamonds in
+the floor by something even harder.
+
+That told me the sculpture was something special and maybe Doc had had a
+real idea in his pickled brain when he'd been pushing the thing at all
+of us and trying to tell us something. He hadn't managed to say anything
+then, but he had earlier when he'd been going to tell us what to do
+about the bomb, and maybe there was a connection.
+
+I twisted my memory hard and let it spring back and I got "Inversh ...
+bosh ..." Bosh, indeed! Bosh and inverse bosh to all boozers, Russki or
+otherwise.
+
+So I quick tried the memory trick again and this time I got "glovsh" and
+then I grasped and almost sneezed on diamond dust as I watched the
+pieces fit themselves together in my mind like a speeded-up movie reel.
+
+It all hung on that black right-hand hussar's glove Lili had produced
+for Bruce. Only she couldn't have found it in Stores, because we'd
+searched every fractional pigeonhole later on and there hadn't been any
+gloves there, not even the left-hand mate there would have been. Also,
+Bruce had had two left-hand gloves to start with, and we had been
+through the whole Place with a fine-tooth comb, and there had been only
+the two black gloves on the floor where Bruce had kicked them off the
+bar--those two and those two only, the left-hand glove he'd brought from
+outside and the right-hand glove Lili had produced for him.
+
+ * * * * *
+
+So a left-hand glove had disappeared--the last I'd seen of it, Lili had
+been putting it on her tray--and a right-hand glove had appeared. Which
+could only add up to one thing: Lili had turned the left-hand glove into
+an identical right. She couldn't have done it by turning it inside out
+the ordinary way, because the lining was different.
+
+But as I knew only too sickeningly well, there was an extraordinary way
+to turn things inside out, things like human beings. You merely had to
+put them on the Invertor in Surgery and flick the switch for full
+Inversion.
+
+Or you could flick it for partial Inversion and turn something into a
+perfect three-dimensional mirror image of itself, just what a right-hand
+glove is of a left. Rotation through the fourth dimension, the science
+boys call it; I've heard of it being used in surgery on the highly
+asymmetric Martians, and even to give a socially impeccable right hand
+to a man who'd lost one, by turning an amputated right arm into an
+amputated left.
+
+Ordinarily, nothing but live things are ever Inverted in Surgery and you
+wouldn't think of doing it to an inanimate object, especially in a Place
+where the Doc's a drunk and the Surgery hasn't been used for hundreds of
+sleeps.
+
+But when you've just fallen in love, you think of wonderful crazy things
+to do for people. Drunk with love, Lili had taken Bruce's extra
+left-hand glove into Surgery, partially Inverted it, and got a
+right-hand glove to give him.
+
+What Doc had been trying to say with his "Inversh ... bosh ..." was
+"Invert the box," meaning we should put the bronze chest through full
+Inversion to get at the bomb inside to disarm it. Doc too had got the
+idea from Lili's trick with the glove. What an inside-out tactical
+atomic bomb would look like, I could not imagine and did not
+particularly care to see. I might have to, though, I realized.
+
+But the fast-motion film was still running in my head. Later on, Lili
+had decided like I had that her lover was going to lose out in his plea
+for mutiny unless she could give him a really captive audience--and
+maybe, even then, she had been figuring on creating the nest for Bruce's
+chicks and ... all those other things we'd believed in for a while. So
+she'd taken the Major Maintainer and remembered the glove, and not many
+seconds later, she had set down on a shelf of the Art Gallery an object
+that no one would think of questioning--except someone who knew the
+Gallery by heart.
+
+ * * * * *
+
+I looked at the abstract sculpture a foot from my nose, at the clustered
+gray spheres the size of golf balls. I had known that the inside of the
+Maintainer was made up of vastly tough, vastly hard giant molecules, but
+I hadn't realized they were quite _that_ big.
+
+I said to myself, "Greta, this is going to give you a major psychosis,
+but you're the one who has to do it, because no one is going to listen
+to your deductions when they're all practically living on negative time
+already."
+
+I got up as quietly as if I were getting out of a bed I shouldn't have
+been in--there are some things Entertainers are good at--and Kaby was
+just saying "you go mad in about fifty heartbeats." Everybody on their
+feet was looking at Lili. Sid seemed to have moved, but I had no time
+for him except to hope he hadn't done anything that might attract
+attention to me.
+
+I stepped out of my shoes and walked rapidly to Surgery--there's one
+good thing about this hardest floor anywhere, it doesn't creak. I walked
+through the Surgery screen that is like a wall of opaque, odorless
+cigarette smoke and I concentrated on remembering my snafued nurse's
+training, and before I had time to panic, I had the sculpture positioned
+on the gleaming table of the Invertor.
+
+I froze for a moment when I reached for the Inversion switch, thinking
+of the other time and trying to remember what it had been that bothered
+me so much about an inside-out brain being bigger and not having eyes,
+but then I either thumbed my nose at my nightmare or kissed my sanity
+good-by, I don't know which, and twisted the switch all the way over,
+and there was the Major Maintainer winking blue about three times a
+second as nice as you could want it.
+
+It must have been working as sweet and steady as ever, all the time it
+was Inverted, except that, being inside out, it had hocused the
+direction finders.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER 15
+
+ black legged spiders
+ with red hearts of hell
+
+ --marquis
+
+LORD SPIDER
+
+
+"Jesu!" I turned and Sid's face was sticking through the screen like a
+tinted bas-relief hanging on a gray wall and I got the impression he had
+peered unexpectedly through a slit in an arras into Queen Elizabeth's
+bedroom.
+
+He didn't have any time to linger on the sensation, even if he'd wanted
+to, for an elbow with a copper band thrust through the screen and dug
+his ribs and Kaby marched Lili in by the neck. Erich, Mark and Illy were
+right behind. They caught the blue flashes and stopped dead, staring at
+the long-lost. Erich spared me one look which seemed to say, so you did
+it, not that it matters. Then he stepped forward and picked it up and
+held it solidly to his left side in the double right-angle made by
+fingers, forearm and chest, and reached for the Introversion switch with
+a look on his face as if he were opening a fifth of whisky.
+
+The blue light died and Change Winds hit me like a stiff drink that had
+been a long, long time in coming, like a hot trumpet note out of
+nowhere.
+
+I felt the changing pasts blowing through me, and the uncertainties
+whistling past, and ice-stiff reality softening with all its duties and
+necessities, and the little memories shredding away and dancing off like
+autumn leaves, leaving maybe not even ghosts behind, and all the crazy
+moods like Mardi Gras dancers pouring down an evening street, and
+something inside me had the nerve to say it didn't care whether Greta
+Forzane's death was riding in those Winds because they felt so good.
+
+I could tell it was hitting the others the same way. Even battered,
+tight-lipped Lili seemed to be saying, you're making me drink the stuff
+and I hate you for it, but I do love it. I guess we'd all had the worry
+that even finding and Extroverting the Maintainer wouldn't put us back
+in touch with the cosmos and give us those Winds we hate and love.
+
+The thing that cut through to us as we stood there glowing was not the
+thought of the bomb, though that would have come in a few seconds more,
+but Sid's voice. He was still standing in the screen, except that now
+his face was out the other side and we could just see parts of his
+gray-doubleted back, but, of course, his "Jesu!" came through the screen
+as if it weren't there.
+
+At first I couldn't figure out who he could be talking to, but I swear I
+never heard his voice so courtly obsequious before, so strong and yet so
+filled with awe and an under-note of, yes, sheer terror.
+
+"Lord, I am filled from top to toe with confusion that you should so
+honor my poor Place," he said. "Poor say I and mine, when I mean that I
+have ever busked it faithfully for you, not dreaming that you would ever
+condescend ... yet knowing that your eye was certes ever upon me ...
+though I am but as a poor pinch of dust adrift between the suns ... I
+abase myself. Prithee, how may I serve thee, sir? I know not e'en how
+most suitably to address thee, Lord ... King ... Emperor Spider!"
+
+ * * * * *
+
+I felt like I was getting very small, but not a bit less visible, worse
+luck, and even with the Change Winds inside me to give me courage, I
+thought this was really too much, coming on top of everything else; it
+was simply unfair.
+
+At the same time, I realized it was to be expected that the big bosses
+would have been watching us with their unblinking beady black eyes ever
+since we had Introverted waiting to pounce if we should ever come out of
+it. I tried to picture what was on the other side of the screen and I
+didn't like the assignment.
+
+But in spite of being petrified, I had a hard time not giggling, like
+the zany at graduation exercises, at the way the other ones in Surgery
+were taking it.
+
+I mean the Soldiers. They each stiffened up like they had the old ramrod
+inside them, and their faces got that important look, and they glanced
+at each other and the floor without lowering their heads, as if they
+were measuring the distance between their feet and mentally chalking
+alternate sets of footprints to step into. The way Erich and Kaby held
+the Major and Minor Maintainers became formal; the way they checked
+their Callers and nodded reassuringly was positively esoteric. Even Illy
+somehow managed to look as if he were on parade.
+
+Then from beyond the screen came what was, under the circumstances, the
+worst noise I've ever heard, a seemingly wordless distant-sounding
+howling and wailing, with a note of menace that made me shake, although
+it also had a nasty familiarity about it I couldn't place. Sid's voice
+broke into it, loud, fast and frightened.
+
+"Your pardon, Lord, I did not think ... certes, the gravity ... I'll
+attend to it on the instant." He whipped a hand and half a head back
+through the screen, but without looking back and snapped his fingers,
+and before I could blink, Kaby had put the Minor Maintainer in his hand.
+
+Sid went completely out of sight then and the howling stopped, and I
+thought that if that was the way a Lord Spider expressed his annoyance
+at being subjected to incorrect gravity, I hoped the bosses wouldn't
+start any conversations with me.
+
+Erich pursed his lips and threw the other Soldiers a nod and the four of
+them marched through the screen as if they'd drilled a lifetime for this
+moment. I had the wild idea that Erich might give me his arm, but he
+strode past me as if I were ... an Entertainer.
+
+I hesitated a moment then, but I had to see what was happening outside,
+even if I got eaten up for it. Besides, I had a bit of the thought that
+if these formalities went on much longer, even a Lord Spider was going
+to discover just how immune he was to confined atomic blast.
+
+I walked through the screen with Lili beside me.
+
+ * * * * *
+
+The Soldiers had stopped a few feet in front of it. I looked around
+ahead for whatever it was going to turn out to be, prepared to drop a
+curtsy or whatever else, bar nothing, that seemed expected of me.
+
+I had a hard time spotting the beast. Some of the others seemed to be
+having trouble too. I saw Doc weaving around foolishly by the control
+divan, and Bruce and Beau and Sevensee and Maud on their feet beyond it,
+and I wondered whether we were dealing with an invisible monster; ought
+to be easy enough for the bosses to turn a simple trick like
+invisibility.
+
+Then I looked sharply left where everyone else, even glassy-eyed Doc,
+was coming to look, into the Door sector, only there wasn't any monster
+there or even a Door, but just Siddy holding the Minor Maintainer and
+grinning like when he is threatening to tickle me, only more fiendishly.
+
+"Not a move, masters," he cried, his eyes dancing, "or I'll pin the pack
+of you down, marry and amen I will. It is my firm purpose to see the
+Place blasted before I let this instrument out of my hands again."
+
+My first thought was, "'Sblood but Siddy is a real actor! I don't care
+if he didn't study under anyone later than Burbage, that just proves how
+good Burbage is."
+
+Sid had convinced us not only that the real Spiders had arrived, but
+earlier that the gravity in the edge of Stores had been a lot heavier
+than it actually was. He completely fooled all those Soldiers, including
+my swelled-headed victorious little commandant, and I kind of filed away
+the timing of that business of reaching out the hand and snapping the
+fingers without looking, it was so good.
+
+"Beauregard!" Sid called. "Get to the Major Maintainer and call
+headquarters. But don't come through Door, marry go by Refresher. I'll
+not trust a single Demon of you in this sector with me until much more
+has been shown and settled."
+
+"Siddy, you're wonderful," I said, starting toward him. "As soon as I
+got the Maintainer unsnarled and looked around and saw your sweet old
+face--"
+
+"Back, tricksy trull! Not the breadth of one scarlet toenail nearer me,
+you Queen of Sleights and High Priestess of Deception!" he bellowed.
+"You least of all do I trust. Why you hid the Maintainer, I know not,
+'faith, but later you'll discover the truth to me or I'll have your
+gizzard."
+
+I could see there was going to have to be a little explaining.
+
+ * * * * *
+
+Doc, touched off, I guess, by Sid waving his hand at me, threw back his
+head and let off one of those shuddery Siberian wolf-howls he does so
+blamed well. Sid waved toward him sharply and he shut up, beaming
+toothily, but at least I knew who was responsible for the Spider wail of
+displeasure that Sid had either called for or more likely got as a gift
+of the gods and used in his act.
+
+Beau came circling around fast and Erich shoved the Major Maintainer
+into his hands without making any fuss. The four Soldiers were looking
+pretty glum after losing their grand review.
+
+Beau dumped some junk off one of the Art Gallery's sturdy taborets and
+set the Major Maintainer on it carefully but fast, and quickly knelt in
+front of it and whipped on some earphones and started to tune. The way
+he did it snatched away from me my inward glory at my big Inversion
+brainwave so fast, I might never have had it, and there was nothing in
+my mind again but the bronze bomb chest.
+
+I wondered if I should suggest Inverting the thing, but I said to
+myself, "Uh-uh, Greta, you got no diploma to show them and there
+probably isn't time to try two things, anyway."
+
+Then Erich for once did something I wanted him to, though I didn't care
+for its effect on my nerves, by looking at his Caller and saying
+quietly, "Nine minutes to go, if Place time and cosmic time are
+synching."
+
+Beau was steady as a rock and working adjustments so fine that I
+couldn't even see his fingers move.
+
+Then, at the other end of the Place, Bruce took a few steps toward us.
+Sevensee and Maud followed a bit behind him. I remembered Bruce was
+another of our nuts with a private program for blowing up the place.
+
+"Sidney," he called, and then, when he'd got Sid's attention, "Remember,
+Sidney, you and I both came down to London from Peterhouse."
+
+I didn't get it. Then Bruce looked toward Erich with a devil-may-care
+challenge and toward Lili as if he were asking her forgiveness for
+something. I couldn't read her expression; the bruises were blue on her
+throat and her cheek was puffy.
+
+Then Bruce once more shot Erich that look of challenge and he spun and
+grabbed Sevensee by a wrist and stuck out a foot--even half-horses
+aren't too sharp about infighting, I guess, and the satyr had every
+right to feel at least as confused as I felt--and sent him stumbling
+into Maud, and the two of them tumbled to the floor in a jumble of hairy
+legs and pearl-gray frock. Bruce raced to the bomb chest.
+
+ * * * * *
+
+Most of us yelled, "Stop him, Sid, pin him down," or something like
+that--I know I did because I was suddenly sure that he'd been asking
+Lili's pardon for blowing the two of them up--and all the rest of us
+too, the love-blinded stinker.
+
+Sid had been watching him all the time and now he lifted his hand to the
+Minor Maintainer, but then he didn't touch any of the dials, just
+watched and waited, and I thought, "Shaitan shave us! Does Siddy want in
+on death, too? Ain't he satisfied with all he knows about life?"
+
+Bruce had knelt and was twisting some things on the front of the chest,
+and it was all as bright as if he were under a bank of Klieg lights, and
+I was telling myself I wouldn't know anything when the fireball fired,
+and not believing it, and Sevensee and Maud had got unscrambled and were
+starting for Bruce, and the rest of us were yelling at Sid, except that
+Erich was just looking at Bruce very happily, and Sid was still not
+doing anything, and it was unbearable except just then I felt the little
+arteries start to burst in my brain like a string of fire-crackers and
+the old aorta pop, and for good measure, a couple of valves come
+unhinged in my ticker, and I was thinking, "Well, now I know what it's
+like to die of heart failure and high blood pressure," and having a last
+quiet smile at having cheated the bomb, when Bruce jumped up and back
+from the chest.
+
+"That does it!" he announced cheerily. "She's as safe as the Bank of
+England."
+
+Sevensee and Maud stopped themselves just short of knocking him down and
+I said to myself, "Hey, let's get a move on! I thought heart attacks
+were fast."
+
+Before anyone else could speak, Beau did. He had turned around from the
+Major Maintainer and pulled aside one of the earphones.
+
+"I got headquarters," he said crisply. "They told me how to disarm the
+bomb--I merely said I thought we ought to know. What did you do, sir?"
+he called to Bruce.
+
+"There's a row of four ankhs just below the lock. The first to your left
+you give a quarter turn to the right, the second a quarter turn to the
+left, same for the fourth, and you don't touch the third."
+
+"That is it, sir," Beau confirmed.
+
+The long silence was too much for me; I guess I must have the shortest
+span for unspoken relief going. I drew some nourishment out of my
+restored arteries into my brain cells and yelled, "Siddy, I know I'm a
+tricksy trull and the High Vixen of all Foxes, but what the Hell is
+Peterhouse?"
+
+"The oldest college at Cambridge," he told me rather coolly.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER 16
+
+ "Familiar with infinite universe sheafs and open-ended postulate
+ systems?--the notion that everything is possible--and I mean
+ everything--and everything has happened. _Everything._"
+
+ --Heinlein
+
+THE POSSIBILITY-BINDERS
+
+
+An hour later, I was nursing a weak highball and a black eye in the
+sleepy-time darkness on the couch farthest from the piano, half watching
+the highlighted party going on around it and the bar, while the Place
+waited for rendezvous with Egypt and the Battle of Alexandria.
+
+Sid had swept all our outstanding problems into one big bundle and,
+since his hand held the joker of the Minor Maintainer, he had settled
+them all as high-handedly as if they'd been those of a bunch of
+schoolkids.
+
+It amounted to this:
+
+We'd been Introverted when most of the damning things had happened, so
+presumably only we knew about them, and we were all in so deep one way
+or another that we'd all have to keep quiet to protect our delicate
+complexions.
+
+Well, Erich's triggering the bomb did balance rather neatly Bruce's
+incitement to mutiny, and there was Doc's drinking, while everybody who
+had declared for the peace message had something to hide. Mark and Kaby
+I felt inclined to trust anywhere, Maud for sure, and Erich in this
+particular matter, damn him. Illy I didn't feel at all easy about, but I
+told myself there always has to be a fly in the ointment--a darn big
+one this time, and furry.
+
+Sid didn't mention his own dirty linen, but he knew we knew he'd flopped
+badly as boss of the Place and only recouped himself by that last-minute
+flimflam.
+
+Remembering Sid's trick made me think for a moment about the real
+Spiders. Just before I snuck out of Surgery, I'd had a vivid picture of
+what they must look like, but now I couldn't get it again. It depressed
+me, not being able to remember--oh, I probably just imagined I'd had a
+picture, like a hophead on a secret-of-the-universe kick. Me ever find
+out anything about the Spiders?--except for nervous notions like I'd had
+during the recent fracas?--what a laugh!
+
+The funniest thing (ha-ha!) was that I had ended up the least-trusted
+person. Sid wouldn't give me time to explain how I'd deduced what had
+happened to the Maintainer, and even when Lili spoke up and admitted
+hiding it, she acted so bored I don't think everybody believed
+her--although she did spill the realistic detail that she hadn't used
+partial Inversion on the glove; she'd just turned it inside out to make
+it a right and then done a full Inversion to get the lining back inside.
+
+ * * * * *
+
+I tried to get Doc to confirm that he'd reasoned the thing out the same
+way I had, but he said he had been blacked out the whole time, except
+during the first part of the hunt, and he didn't remember having any
+bright ideas at all. Right now, he was having Maud explain to him twice,
+in detail, everything that had happened. I decided that it was going to
+take a little more work before my reputation as a great detective was
+established.
+
+I looked over the edge of the couch and just made out in the gloom one
+of Bruce's black gloves. It must have been kicked there. I fished it up.
+It was the right-hand one. My big clue, and was I sick of it! Got
+mittens, God forbid! I slung it away and, like a lurking octopus, Illy
+shot up a tentacle from the next couch, where I hadn't known he was
+resting, and snatched the glove like it was a morsel of underwater
+garbage. These ETs can seem pretty shuddery non-human at times.
+
+I thought of what a cold-blooded, skin-saving louse Illy had been, and
+about Sid and his easy suspicions, and Erich and my black eye, and how,
+as usual, I'd got left alone in the end. My men!
+
+Bruce had explained about being an A-tech. Like a lot of us, he'd had
+several widely different jobs during his first weeks in the Change World
+and one of them had been as secretary to a group of the minor atomics
+boys from the Manhattan-Project-Earth-Satellite days. I gathered he'd
+also absorbed some of his bothersome ideas from them. I hadn't quite
+decided yet what species of heroic heel he belonged to, but he was thick
+with Mark and Erich again. Everybody's men!
+
+Sid didn't have to argue with anybody; all the wild compulsions and
+mighty resolves were dead now, anyway until they'd had a good long rest.
+I sure could use one myself, I knew.
+
+The party at the piano was getting wilder. Lili had been dancing the
+black bottom on top of it and now she jumped down into Sid's and
+Sevensee's arms, taking a long time about it. She'd been drinking a lot
+and her little gray dress looked about as innocent on her as diapers
+would on Nell Gwyn. She continued her dance, distributing her marks of
+favor equally between Sid, Erich and the satyr. Beau didn't mind a bit,
+but serenely pounded out "Tonight's the Night"--which she'd practically
+shouted to him not two minutes ago.
+
+I was glad to be out of the party. Who can compete with a highly
+experienced, utterly disillusioned seventeen-year-old really throwing
+herself away for the first time?
+
+ * * * * *
+
+Something touched my hand. Illy had stretched a tentacle into a furry
+wire to return me the black glove, although he ought to have known I
+didn't want it. I pushed it away, privately calling Illy a washed-out
+moronic tarantula, and right away I felt a little guilty. What right had
+I to be critical of Illy? Would my own character have shown to advantage
+if I'd been locked in with eleven octopoids a billion years away? For
+that matter, where did I get off being critical of anyone?
+
+Still, I was glad to be out of the party, though I kept on watching it.
+Bruce was drinking alone at the bar. Once Sid had gone over to him and
+they'd had one together and I'd heard Bruce reciting from Rupert Brooke
+those deliberately corny lines, "For England's the one land, I know,
+Where men with Splendid Hearts may go; and Cambridgeshire, of all
+England, The Shire for Men who Understand;" and I'd remembered that
+Brooke too had died young in World War One and my ideas had got fuzzy.
+But mostly Bruce was just calmly drinking by himself. Every once in a
+while Lili would look at him and stop dead in her dancing and laugh.
+
+I'd figured out this Bruce-Lili-Erich business as well as I cared to.
+Lili had wanted the nest with all her heart and nothing else would ever
+satisfy her, and now she'd go to hell her own way and probably die of
+Bright's disease for a third time in the Change World. Bruce hadn't
+wanted the nest or Lili as much as he wanted the Change World and the
+chances it gave for Soldierly cavorting and poetic drunks; Lili's seed
+wasn't his idea of healing the cosmos; maybe he'd make a real mutiny
+some day, but more likely he'd stick to bar-room epics.
+
+His and Lili's infatuation wouldn't die completely, no matter how rancid
+it looked right now. The real-love angle might go, but Change would
+magnify the romance angle and it might seem to them like a big thing of
+a sort if they met again.
+
+Erich had his _Kamerad_, shaped to suit him, who'd had the guts and
+cleverness to disarm the bomb he'd had the guts to trigger. You have to
+hand it to Erich for having the nerve to put us all in a situation where
+we'd have to find the Maintainer or fry, but I don't know anything
+disgusting enough to hand to him.
+
+I had tried a while back. I had gone up behind him and said, "Hey, how's
+my wicked little commandant? Forgotten your _und so weiter_?" and as he
+turned, I clawed my nails and slammed him across the cheek. That's how I
+got the black eye. Maud wanted to put an electronic leech on it, but I
+took the old handkerchief in ice water. Well, at any rate Erich had his
+scratches to match Bruce's, not as deep, but four of them, and I told
+myself maybe they'd get infected--I hadn't washed my hands since the
+hunt. Not that Erich doesn't love scars.
+
+ * * * * *
+
+Mark was the one who helped me up after Erich knocked me down.
+
+"You got any omnias for that?" I snapped at him.
+
+"For what?" Mark asked.
+
+"Oh, for everything that's been happening to us," I told him
+disgustedly.
+
+He seemed to actually think for a moment and then he said, "_Omnia
+mutantur, nihil interit._"
+
+"Meaning?" I asked him.
+
+He said, "All things change, but nothing is really lost."
+
+It would be a wonderful philosophy to stand with against the Change
+Winds. Also damn silly. I wondered if Mark really believed it. I wished
+I could. Sometimes I come close to thinking it's a lot of baloney trying
+to be any decent kind of Demon, even a good Entertainer. Then I tell
+myself, "That's life, Greta. You've got to love through it somehow." But
+there are times when some of these cookies are not too easy to love.
+
+Something brushed the palm of my hand again. It was Illy's tentacle,
+with the tendrils of the tip spread out like a little bush. I started to
+pull my hand away, but then I realized the Loon was simply lonely. I
+surrendered my hand to the patterned gossamer pressures of
+feather-talk.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+Right away I got the words, "Feeling lonely, Greta girl?"
+
+It almost floored me, I tell you. Here I was understanding feather-talk,
+which I just didn't, and I was understanding it in English, which didn't
+make sense at all.
+
+For a second, I thought Illy must have spoken, but I knew he hadn't, and
+for a couple more seconds I thought he was working telepathy on me,
+using the feather-talk as cues. Then I tumbled to what was happening: he
+was playing English on my palm like on the keyboard of his squeakbox,
+and since I could play English on a squeakbox myself, my mind translated
+automatically.
+
+Realizing this almost gave my mind stage fright, but I was too fagged to
+be hocused by self-consciousness. I just lay back and let the thoughts
+come through. It's good to have someone talk to you, even an underweight
+octopus, and without the squeaks Illy didn't sound so silly; his
+phrasing was soberer.
+
+ * * * * *
+
+"Feeling sad, Greta girl, because you'll never understand what's
+happening to us all," Illy asked me, "because you'll never be anything
+but a shadow fighting shadows--and trying to love shadows in between the
+battles? It's time you understood we're not really fighting a war at
+all, although it looks that way, but going through a kind of evolution,
+though not exactly the kind Erich had in mind.
+
+"Your Terran thought has a word for it and a theory for it--a theory
+that recurs on many worlds. It's about the four orders of life: Plants,
+Animals, Men and Demons. Plants are energy-binders--they can't move
+through space or time, but they can clutch energy and transform it.
+Animals are space-binders--they can move through space. Man (Terran or
+ET, Lunan or non-Lunan) is a time-binder--he has memory.
+
+"Demons are the fourth order of evolution, possibility-binders--they can
+make all of what might be part of what is, and that is their
+evolutionary function. Resurrection is like the metamorphosis of a
+caterpillar into a butterfly: a third-order being breaks out of the
+chrysalis of its lifeline into fourth-order life. The leap from the
+ripped cocoon of an unchanging reality is like the first animal's leap
+when he ceases to be a plant, and the Change World is the core of
+meaning behind the many myths of immortality.
+
+"All evolution looks like a war at first--octopoids against monopoids,
+mammals against reptiles. And it has a necessary dialectic: there must
+be the thesis--we call it Snake--and the antithesis--Spider--before
+there can be the ultimate synthesis, when all possibilities are fully
+realized in one ultimate universe. The Change War isn't the blind
+destruction it seems.
+
+"Remember that the Serpent is your symbol of wisdom and the Spider your
+sign for patience. The two names are rightly frightening to you, for all
+high existence is a mixture of horror and delight. And don't be
+surprised, Greta girl, at the range of my words and thoughts; in a way,
+I've had a billion years to study Terra and learn her languages and
+myths.
+
+"Who are the real Spiders and Snakes, meaning who were the first
+possibility-binders? Who was Adam, Greta girl? Who was Cain? Who were
+Eve and Lilith?
+
+"In binding all possibility, the Demons also bind the mental with the
+material. All fourth-order beings live inside and outside all minds,
+throughout the whole cosmos. Even this Place is, after its fashion, a
+giant brain: its floor is the brainpan, the boundary of the Void is the
+cortex of gray matter--yes, even the Major and Minor Maintainers are
+analogues of the pineal and pituitary glands, which in some form sustain
+all nervous systems.
+
+"There's the real picture, Greta girl."
+
+The feather-talk faded out and Illy's tendril tips merged into a soft
+pad on which I fingered, "Thanks, Daddy Longlegs."
+
+ * * * * *
+
+Chewing over in my mind what Illy had just told me, I looked back at the
+gang around the piano. The party seemed to be breaking up; at least some
+of them were chopping away at it. Sid had gone to the control divan and
+was getting set to tune in Egypt. Mark and Kaby were there with him, all
+bursting with eagerness and the vision of ranks on ranks of mounted
+Zombie bowmen going up in a mushroom cloud; I thought of what Illy had
+told me and I managed a smile--seems we've got to win and lose all the
+battles, every which way.
+
+Mark had just put on his Parthian costume, groaning cheerfully,
+"Trousers again!" and was striding around under a hat like a fur-lined
+ice-cream cone and with the sleeves of his metal-stuffed candys flapping
+over his hands. He waved a short sword with a heart-shaped guard at
+Bruce and Erich and told them to get a move on.
+
+Kaby was going along on the operation wearing the old-woman disguise
+intended for Benson-Carter. I got a half-hearted kick out of knowing she
+was going to have to cover that chest and hobble.
+
+Bruce and Erich weren't taking orders from Mark just yet. Erich went
+over and said something to Bruce at the bar, and Bruce got down and
+went over with Erich to the piano, and Erich tapped Beau on the shoulder
+and leaned over and said something to him, and Beau nodded and yanked
+"Limehouse Blues" to a fast close and started another piece, something
+slow and nostalgic.
+
+Erich and Bruce waved to Mark and smiled, as if to show him that whether
+he came over and stood with them or not, the legate and the lieutenant
+and the commandant were very much together. And while Sevensee hugged
+Lili with a simple enthusiasm that made me wonder why I've wasted so
+much imagination on genetic treatments for him, Erich and Bruce sang:
+
+ "_To the legion of the lost ones, to the cohort of the damned,
+ To our brothers in the tunnels outside time,
+ Sing three Change-resistant Zombies, raised from death and
+ robot-crammed,
+ And Commandos of the Spiders--
+ Here's to crime!
+ We're three blind mice on the wrong time-track,
+ Hush--hush--hush!
+ We've lost our now and will never get back,
+ Hush--hush--hush!
+ Change Commandos out on the spree,
+ Damned through all possibility,
+ Ghostgirls, think kindly on such as we,
+ Hush--hush--hush!_"
+
+While they were singing, I looked down at my charcoal skirt and over at
+Maud and Lili and I thought, "Three gray hustlers for three black
+hussars, that's our speed." Well, I'd never thought of myself as a
+high-speed job, winning all the races--I wouldn't feel comfortable that
+way. Come to think of it, we've got to lose and win all the races in the
+long run, the way the course is laid out.
+
+I fingered to Illy, "That's the picture, all right, Spider boy."
+
+ --FRITZ LEIBER
+
+
+
+
+Transcriber's Note:
+
+ This etext was produced from _Galaxy Science Fiction_ March and
+ April 1958. Extensive research did not uncover any evidence that the
+ U.S. copyright on this publication was renewed. Minor spelling and
+ typographical errors have been corrected without note.
+
+
+
+
+
+End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of The Big Time, by Fritz Reuter Leiber
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