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FOR PUBLIC DOMAIN ETEXTS*Ver.12.12.00*END* + + + + + +This etext was produced by David Widger <widger@cecomet.net> + + + + + +Letters Vol. 3 + +by Mark Twain + + + + +VOLUME III. + +MARK TWAIN'S LETTERS 1876-1885 + + + +XVI. + +LETTERS, 1876, CHIEFLY TO W. D. HOWELLS. LITERATURE AND POLITICS. +PLANNING A PLAY WITH BRET HARTE + + The Monday Evening Club of Hartford was an association of most of + the literary talent of that city, and it included a number of very + distinguished members. The writers, the editors, the lawyers, and + the ministers of the gospel who composed it were more often than not + men of national or international distinction. There was but one + paper at each meeting, and it was likely to be a paper that would + later find its way into some magazine. + + Naturally Mark Twain was one of its favorite members, and his + contributions never failed to arouse interest and discussion. A + "Mark Twain night" brought out every member. In the next letter we + find the first mention of one of his most memorable contributions--a + story of one of life's moral aspects. The tale, now included in his + collected works, is, for some reason, little read to-day; yet the + curious allegory, so vivid in its seeming reality, is well worth + consideration. + + + To W. D. Howells, in Boston: + + HARTFORD, Jan. 11, '76. +MY DEAR HOWELLS,--Indeed we haven't forgotten the Howellses, nor scored +up a grudge of any kind against them; but the fact is I was under the +doctor's hands for four weeks on a stretch and have been disabled from +working for a week or so beside. I thought I was well, about ten days +ago, so I sent for a short-hand writer and dictated answers to a bushel +or so of letters that had been accumulating during my illness. Getting +everything shipshape and cleared up, I went to work next day upon an +Atlantic article, which ought to be worth $20 per page (which is the +price they usually pay for my work, I believe) for although it is only 70 +pages MS (less than two days work, counting by bulk,) I have spent 3 more +days trimming, altering and working at it. I shall put in one more day's +polishing on it, and then read it before our Club, which is to meet at +our house Monday evening, the 24th inst. I think it will bring out +considerable discussion among the gentlemen of the Club--though the title +of the article will not give them much notion of what is to follow,--this +title being "The Facts Concerning the Recent Carnival of Crime in +Connecticut"--which reminds me that today's Tribune says there will be a +startling article in the current Atlantic, in which a being which is +tangible bud invisible will figure-exactly the case with the sketch of +mine which I am talking about! However, mine can lie unpublished a year +or two as well as not--though I wish that contributor of yours had not +interfered with his coincidence of heroes. + +But what I am coming at, is this: won't you and Mrs. Howells come down +Saturday the 22nd and remain to the Club on Monday night? We always have +a rattling good time at the Club and we do want you to come, ever so +much. Will you? Now say you will. Mrs. Clemens and I are persuading +ourselves that you twain will come. + +My volume of sketches is doing very well, considering the times; received +my quarterly statement today from Bliss, by which I perceive that 20,000 +copies have been sold--or rather, 20,000 had been sold 3 weeks ago; a lot +more, by this time, no doubt. + +I am on the sick list again--and was, day before yesterday--but on the +whole I am getting along. + Yrs ever + MARK + + + Howells wrote that he could not come down to the club meeting, + adding that sickness was "quite out of character" for Mark Twain, + and hardly fair on a man who had made so many other people feel + well. He closed by urging that Bliss "hurry out" 'Tom Sawyer.' + "That boy is going to make a prodigious hit." Clemens answered: + + + To W. D. Howells, in Boston. + + HARTFORD, Jan. 18, '76. +MY DEAR HOWELLS,-- Thanks, and ever so many, for the good opinion of 'Tom +Sawyer.' Williams has made about 300 rattling pictures for it--some of +them very dainty. Poor devil, what a genius he has and how he does +murder it with rum. He takes a book of mine, and without suggestion from +anybody builds no end of pictures just from his reading of it. + +There was never a man in the world so grateful to another as I was to you +day before yesterday, when I sat down (in still rather wretched health) +to set myself to the dreary and hateful task of making final revision of +Tom Sawyer, and discovered, upon opening the package of MS that your +pencil marks were scattered all along. This was splendid, and swept away +all labor. Instead of reading the MS, I simply hunted out the pencil +marks and made the emendations which they suggested. I reduced the boy +battle to a curt paragraph; I finally concluded to cut the Sunday school +speech down to the first two sentences, leaving no suggestion of satire, +since the book is to be for boys and girls; I tamed the various +obscenities until I judged that they no longer carried offense. So, at a +single sitting I began and finished a revision which I had supposed would +occupy 3 or 4. days and leave me mentally and physically fagged out at +the end. I was careful not to inflict the MS upon you until I had +thoroughly and painstakingly revised it. Therefore, the only faults left +were those that would discover themselves to others, not me--and these +you had pointed out. + +There was one expression which perhaps you overlooked. When Huck is +complaining to Tom of the rigorous system in vogue at the widow's, he +says the servants harass him with all manner of compulsory decencies, and +he winds up by saying: "and they comb me all to hell." (No exclamation +point.) Long ago, when I read that to Mrs. Clemens, she made no comment; +another time I created occasion to read that chapter to her aunt and her +mother (both sensitive and loyal subjects of the kingdom of heaven, so to +speak) and they let it pass. I was glad, for it was the most natural +remark in the world for that boy to make (and he had been allowed few +privileges of speech in the book;) when I saw that you, too, had let it +go without protest, I was glad, and afraid; too--afraid you hadn't +observed it. Did you? And did you question the propriety of it? Since +the book is now professedly and confessedly a boy's and girl's hook, that +darn word bothers me some, nights, but it never did until I had ceased to +regard the volume as being for adults. + +Don't bother to answer now, (for you've writing enough to do without +allowing me to add to the burden,) but tell me when you see me again! + +Which we do hope will be next Saturday or Sunday or Monday. Couldn't you +come now and mull over the alterations which you are going to make in +your MS, and make them after you go back? Wouldn't it assist the work if +you dropped out of harness and routine for a day or two and have that +sort of revivification which comes of a holiday-forgetfulness of the +work-shop? I can always work after I've been to your house; and if you +will come to mine, now, and hear the club toot their various horns over +the exasperating metaphysical question which I mean to lay before them in +the disguise of a literary extravaganza, it would just brace you up like +a cordial. + +(I feel sort of mean trying to persuade a man to put down a critical +piece of work at a critical time, but yet I am honest in thinking it +would not hurt the work nor impair your interest in it to come under the +circumstances.) Mrs. Clemens says, "Maybe the Howellses could come Monday +if they cannot come Saturday; ask them; it is worth trying." Well, how's +that? Could you? It would be splendid if you could. Drop me a postal +card--I should have a twinge of conscience if I forced you to write a +letter, (I am honest about that,)--and if you find you can't make out to +come, tell me that you bodies will come the next Saturday if the thing is +possible, and stay over Sunday. + Yrs ever + MARK. + + + Howells, however, did not come to the club meeting, but promised to + come soon when they could have a quiet time to themselves together. + As to Huck's language, he declared: + + "I'd have that swearing out in an instant. I suppose I didn't + notice it because the locution was so familiar to my Western sense, + and so exactly the thing that Huck would say." Clemens changed the + phrase to, "They comb me all to thunder," and so it stands to-day. + + The "Carnival of Crime," having served its purpose at the club, + found quick acceptance by Howells for the Atlantic. He was so + pleased with it, in fact, that somewhat later he wrote, urging that + its author allow it to be printed in a dainty book, by Osgood, who + made a specialty of fine publishing. Meantime Howells had written + his Atlantic notice of Tom Sawyer, and now inclosed Clemens a proof + of it. We may judge from the reply that it was satisfactory. + + + To W. D. Howells, in Boston: + + Apl 3, '76. +MY DEAR HOWELLS,--It is a splendid notice and will embolden weak-kneed +journalistic admirers to speak out, and will modify or shut up the +unfriendly. To "fear God and dread the Sunday school" exactly described +that old feeling which I used to have, but I couldn't have formulated it. +I want to enclose one of the illustrations in this letter, if I do not +forget it. Of course the book is to be elaborately illustrated, and I +think that many of the pictures are considerably above the American +average, in conception if not in execution. + +I do not re-enclose your review to you, for you have evidently read and +corrected it, and so I judge you do not need it. About two days after +the Atlantic issues I mean to begin to send books to principal journals +and magazines. + +I read the "Carnival of Crime " proof in New York when worn and witless +and so left some things unamended which I might possibly have altered had +I been at home. For instance, "I shall always address you in your own +S-n-i-v-e-l-i-n-g d-r-a-w-l, baby." I saw that you objected to something +there, but I did not understand what! Was it that it was too personal? +Should the language be altered?--or the hyphens taken out? Won't you +please fix it the way it ought to be, altering the language as you +choose, only making it bitter and contemptuous? + +"Deuced" was not strong enough; so I met you halfway with "devilish." + +Mrs. Clemens has returned from New York with dreadful sore throat, and +bones racked with rheumatism. She keeps her bed. "Aloha nui!" as the +Kanakas say. + MARK. + + + Henry Irving once said to Mark Twain: "You made a mistake by not + adopting the stage as a profession. You would have made even a + greater actor than a writer." + + Mark Twain would have made an actor, certainly, but not a very + tractable one. His appearance in Hartford in "The Loan of a Lover" + was a distinguished event, and his success complete, though he made + so many extemporaneous improvements on the lines of thick-headed + Peter Spuyk, that he kept the other actors guessing as to their + cues, and nearly broke up the performance. It was, of course, an + amateur benefit, though Augustin Daly promptly wrote, offering to + put it on for a long run. + + The "skeleton novelette" mentioned in the next letter refers to a + plan concocted by Howells and Clemens, by which each of twelve + authors was to write a story, using the same plot, "blindfolded" as + to what the others had written. It was a regular "Mark Twain" + notion, and it is hard to-day to imagine Howells's continued + enthusiasm in it. Neither he nor Clemens gave up the idea for a + long time. It appears in their letters again and again, though + perhaps it was just as well for literature that it was never carried + out. + + + To W. D. Howells, in Boston: + + Apl. 22, 1876. +MY DEAR HOWELLS, You'll see per enclosed slip that I appear for the first +time on the stage next Wednesday. You and Mrs. H. come down and you +shall skip in free. + +I wrote my skeleton novelette yesterday and today. It will make a little +under 12 pages. + +Please tell Aldrich I've got a photographer engaged, and tri-weekly issue +is about to begin. Show him the canvassing specimens and beseech him to +subscribe. + Ever yours, + S. L. C. + + + In his next letter Mark Twain explains why Tom Sawyer is not to + appear as soon as planned. The reference to "The Literary + Nightmare" refers to the "Punch, Conductor, Punch with Care" sketch, + which had recently appeared in the Atlantic. Many other versifiers + had had their turn at horse-car poetry, and now a publisher was + anxious to collect it in a book, provided he could use the Atlantic + sketch. Clemens does not tell us here the nature of Carlton's + insult, forgiveness of which he was not yet qualified to grant, but + there are at least two stories about it, or two halves of the same + incident, as related afterward by Clemens and Canton. Clemens said + that when he took the Jumping Frog book to Carlton, in 1867, the + latter, pointing to his stock, said, rather scornfully: "Books? + I don't want your book; my shelves are full of books now," though + the reader may remember that it was Carlton himself who had given + the frog story to the Saturday Press and had seen it become famous. + Carlton's half of the story was that he did not accept Mark Twain's + book because the author looked so disreputable. Long afterward, + when the two men met in Europe, the publisher said to the now rich + and famous author: "Mr. Clemens, my one claim on immortality is that + I declined your first book." + + + To W. D. Howells, in Boston: + + HARTFORD, Apl. 25, 1876 +MY DEAR HOWELLS,--Thanks for giving me the place of honor. + +Bliss made a failure in the matter of getting Tom Sawyer ready on time-- +the engravers assisting, as usual. I went down to see how much of a +delay there was going to be, and found that the man had not even put a +canvasser on, or issued an advertisement yet--in fact, that the +electrotypes would not all be done for a month! But of course the main +fact was that no canvassing had been done--because a subscription harvest +is before publication, (not after, when people have discovered how bad +one's book is.) + +Well, yesterday I put in the Courant an editorial paragraph stating that +Tam Sawyer is "ready to issue, but publication is put off in order to +secure English copyright by simultaneous publication there and here. The +English edition is unavoidably delayed." + +You see, part of that is true. Very well. When I observed that my +"Sketches" had dropped from a sale of 6 or 7000 a month down to 1200 a +month, I said "this ain't no time to be publishing books; therefore, let +Tom lie still till Autumn, Mr. Bliss, and make a holiday book of him to +beguile the young people withal." + +I shall print items occasionally, still further delaying Tom, till I ease +him down to Autumn without shock to the waiting world. + +As to that "Literary Nightmare" proposition. I'm obliged to withhold +consent, for what seems a good reason--to wit: A single page of horse-car +poetry is all that the average reader can stand, without nausea; now, to +stack together all of it that has been written, and then add it to my +article would be to enrage and disgust each and every reader and win the +deathless enmity of the lot. + +Even if that reason were insufficient, there would still be a sufficient +reason left, in the fact that Mr. Carlton seems to be the publisher of +the magazine in which it is proposed to publish this horse-car matter. +Carlton insulted me in Feb. 1867, and so when the day arrives that sees +me doing him a civility I shall feel that I am ready for Paradise, since +my list of possible and impossible forgivenesses will then be complete. + +Mrs. Clemens says my version of the blindfold novelette "A Murder and A +Marriage" is "good." Pretty strong language--for her. + +The Fieldses are coming down to the play tomorrow, and they promise to +get you and Mrs. Howells to come too, but I hope you'll do nothing of the +kind if it will inconvenience you, for I'm not going to play either +strikingly bad enough or well enough to make the journey pay you. + +My wife and I think of going to Boston May 7th to see Anna Dickinson's +debut on the 8th. If I find we can go, I'll try to get a stage box and +then you and Mrs. Howells must come to Parker's and go with us to the +crucifixion. + +(Is that spelt right?--somehow it doesn't look right.) + +With our very kindest regards to the whole family. + Yrs ever, + MARK. + + + The mention of Anna Dickinson, at the end of this letter, recalls a + prominent reformer and lecturer of the Civil War period. She had + begun her crusades against temperance and slavery in 1857, when she + was but fifteen years old, when her success as a speaker had been + immediate and extraordinary. Now, in this later period, at the age + of thirty-four, she aspired to the stage--unfortunately for her, as + her gifts lay elsewhere. Clemens and Howells knew Miss Dickinson, + and were anxious for the success which they hardly dared hope for. + Clemens arranged a box party. + + + To W. D. Howells, in Boston: + + May 4, '76. +MY DEAR HOWELLS,--I shall reach Boston on Monday the 8th, either at +4:30 p.m. or 6 p.m. (Which is best?) and go straight to Parker's. +If you and Mrs. Howells cannot be there by half past 4, I'll not plan to +arrive till the later train-time (6,) because I don't want to be there +alone--even a minute. Still, Joe Twichell will doubtless go with me +(forgot that,) he is going to try hard to. Mrs. Clemens has given up +going, because Susy is just recovering from about the savagest assault of +diphtheria a child ever did recover from, and therefore will not be +entirely her healthy self again by the 8th. + +Would you and Mrs. Howells like to invite Mr. and Mrs. Aldrich? I have +a large proscenium box--plenty of room. Use your own pleasure about it +--I mainly (that is honest,) suggest it because I am seeking to make +matters pleasant for you and Mrs. Howells. I invited Twichell because I +thought I knew you'd like that. I want you to fix it so that you and the +Madam can remain in Boston all night; for I leave next day and we can't +have a talk, otherwise. I am going to get two rooms and a parlor; and +would like to know what you decide about the Aldriches, so as to know +whether to apply for an additional bedroom or not. + +Don't dine that evening, for I shall arrive dinnerless and need your +help. + +I'll bring my Blindfold Novelette, but shan't exhibit it unless you +exhibit yours. You would simply go to work and write a novelette that +would make mine sick. Because you would know all about where my weak +points lay. No, Sir, I'm one of these old wary birds! + +Don't bother to write a letter--3 lines on a postal card is all that I +can permit from a busy man. + Yrs ever + MARK. + +P. S. Good! You'll not have to feel any call to mention that debut in +the Atlantic--they've made me pay the grand cash for my box!--a thing +which most managers would be too worldly-wise to do, with journalistic +folks. But I'm most honestly glad, for I'd rather pay three prices, any +time, than to have my tongue half paralyw4 with a dead-head ticket. + +Hang that Anna Dickinson, a body can never depend upon her debuts! She +has made five or six false starts already. If she fails to debut this +time, I will never bet on her again. + + + In his book, My Mark Twain, Howells refers to the "tragedy" of Miss + Dickinson's appearance. She was the author of numerous plays, some + of which were successful, but her career as an actress was never + brilliant. + + At Elmira that summer the Clemenses heard from their good friend + Doctor Brown, of Edinburgh, and sent eager replies. + + + To Dr. John Brown, in Edinburgh: + + ELMIRA, NEW YORK, U. S. June 22, 1876. +DEAR FRIEND THE DOCTOR,-- It was a perfect delight to see the well-known +handwriting again! But we so grieve to know that you are feeling +miserable. It must not last--it cannot last. The regal summer is come +and it will smile you into high good cheer; it will charm away your +pains, it will banish your distresses. I wish you were here, to spend +the summer with us. We are perched on a hill-top that overlooks a little +world of green valleys, shining rivers, sumptuous forests and billowy +uplands veiled in the haze of distance. We have no neighbors. It is the +quietest of all quiet places, and we are hermits that eschew caves and +live in the sun. Doctor, if you'd only come! + +I will carry your letter to Mrs. C. now, and there will be a glad woman, +I tell you! And she shall find one of those pictures to put in this for +Mrs. Barclays and if there isn't one here we'll send right away to +Hartford and get one. Come over, Doctor John, and bring the Barclays, +the Nicolsons and the Browns, one and all! + Affectionately, + SAML. L. CLEMENS. + + + From May until August no letters appear to have passed between + Clemens and Howells; the latter finally wrote, complaining of the + lack of news. He was in the midst of campaign activities, he said, + writing a life of Hayes, and gaily added: "You know I wrote the life + of Lincoln, which elected him." He further reported a comedy he had + completed, and gave Clemens a general stirring up as to his own + work. + + Mark Twain, in his hillside study, was busy enough. Summer was his + time for work, and he had tried his hand in various directions. His + mention of Huck Finn in his reply to Howells is interesting, in that + it shows the measure of his enthusiasm, or lack of it, as a gauge of + his ultimate achievement + + + To W. D. Howells, in Boston: + + ELMIRA, Aug. 9, 1876. +MY DEAR HOWELLS,--I was just about to write you when your letter came-- +and not one of those obscene postal cards, either, but reverently, upon +paper. + +I shall read that biography, though the letter of acceptance was amply +sufficient to corral my vote without any further knowledge of the man. +Which reminds me that a campaign club in Jersey City wrote a few days ago +and invited me to be present at the raising of a Tilden and Hendricks +flag there, and to take the stand and give them some "counsel." Well, I +could not go, but gave them counsel and advice by letter, and in the +kindliest terms as to the raising of the flag--advised them "not to raise +it." + +Get your book out quick, for this is a momentous time. If Tilden is +elected I think the entire country will go pretty straight to--Mrs. +Howells's bad place. + +I am infringing on your patent--I started a record of our children's +sayings, last night. Which reminds me that last week I sent down and got +Susie a vast pair of shoes of a most villainous pattern, for I discovered +that her feet were being twisted and cramped out of shape by a smaller +and prettier article. She did not complain, but looked degraded and +injured. At night her mamma gave her the usual admonition when she was +about to say her prayers--to wit: + +"Now, Susie--think about God." + +"Mamma, I can't, with those shoes." + +The farm is perfectly delightful this season. It is as quiet and +peaceful as a South Sea Island. Some of the sunsets which we have +witnessed from this commanding eminence were marvelous. One evening a +rainbow spanned an entire range of hills with its mighty arch, and from a +black hub resting upon the hill-top in the exact centre, black rays +diverged upward in perfect regularity to the rainbow's arch and created a +very strongly defined and altogether the most majestic, magnificent and +startling half-sunk wagon wheel you can imagine. After that, a world of +tumbling and prodigious clouds came drifting up out of the West and took +to themselves a wonderfully rich and brilliant green color--the decided +green of new spring foliage. Close by them we saw the intense blue of +the skies, through rents in the cloud-rack, and away off in another +quarter were drifting clouds of a delicate pink color. In one place hung +a pall of dense black clouds, like compacted pitch-smoke. And the +stupendous wagon wheel was still in the supremacy of its unspeakable +grandeur. So you see, the colors present in the sky at once and the same +time were blue, green, pink, black, and the vari-colored splendors of the +rainbow. All strong and decided colors, too. I don't know whether this +weird and astounding spectacle most suggested heaven, or hell. The +wonder, with its constant, stately, and always surprising changes, lasted +upwards of two hours, and we all stood on the top of the hill by my study +till the final miracle was complete and the greatest day ended that we +ever saw. + +Our farmer, who is a grave man, watched that spectacle to the end, and +then observed that it was "dam funny." + +The double-barreled novel lies torpid. I found I could not go on with +it. The chapters I had written were still too new and familiar to me. +I may take it up next winter, but cannot tell yet; I waited and waited to +see if my interest in it would not revive, but gave it up a month ago and +began another boys' book--more to be at work than anything else. I have +written 400 pages on it--therefore it is very nearly half done. It is +Huck Finn's Autobiography. I like it only tolerably well, as far as I +have got, and may possibly pigeonhole or burn the MS when it is done. + +So the comedy is done, and with a "fair degree of satisfaction." That +rejoices me, and makes me mad, too--for I can't plan a comedy, and what +have you done that God should be so good to you? I have racked myself +baldheaded trying to plan a comedy harness for some promising characters +of mine to work in, and had to give it up. It is a noble lot of blooded +stock and worth no end of money, but they must stand in the stable and be +profitless. I want to be present when the comedy is produced and help +enjoy the success. + +Warner's book is mighty readable, I think. + Love to yez. + Yrs ever + MARK + + + Howells promptly wrote again, urging him to enter the campaign for + Hayes. "There is not another man in this country," he said, "who + could help him so much as you." The "farce" which Clemens refers to + in his reply, was "The Parlor Car," which seems to have been about + the first venture of Howells in that field. + + + To W. D. Howells, in Boston: + + ELMIRA, August 23, 1876. +MY DEAR HOWELLS,--I am glad you think I could do Hayes any good, for I +have been wanting to write a letter or make a speech to that end. I'll +be careful not to do either, however, until the opportunity comes in a +natural, justifiable and unlugged way; and shall not then do anything +unless I've got it all digested and worded just right. In which case I +might do some good--in any other I should do harm. When a humorist +ventures upon the grave concerns of life he must do his job better than +another man or he works harm to his cause. + +The farce is wonderfully bright and delicious, and must make a hit. You +read it to me, and it was mighty good; I read it last night and it was +better; I read it aloud to the household this morning and it was better +than ever. So it would be worth going a long way to see it well played; +for without any question an actor of genius always adds a subtle +something to any man's work that none but the writer knew was there +before. Even if he knew it. I have heard of readers convulsing +audiences with my "Aurelia's Unfortunate Young Man." If there is +anything really funny in the piece, the author is not aware of it. + +All right--advertise me for the new volume. I send you herewith a sketch +which will make 3 pages of the Atlantic. If you like it and accept it, +you should get it into the December No. because I shall read it in public +in Boston the 13th and 14th of Nov. If it went in a month earlier it +would be too old for me to read except as old matter; and if it went in a +month later it would be too old for the Atlantic--do you see? And if you +wish to use it, will you set it up now, and send me three proofs? --one +to correct for Atlantic, one to send to Temple Bar (shall I tell them to +use it not earlier than their November No.?) and one to use in practising +for my Boston readings. + +We must get up a less elaborate and a much better skeleton-plan for the +Blindfold Novels and make a success of that idea. David Gray spent +Sunday here and said we could but little comprehend what a rattling stir +that thing would make in the country. He thought it would make a mighty +strike. So do I. But with only 8 pages to tell the tale in, the plot +must be less elaborate, doubtless. What do you think? + +When we exchange visits I'll show you an unfinished sketch of Elizabeth's +time which shook David Gray's system up pretty exhaustively. + Yrs ever, + MARK. + + + The MS. sketch mentioned in the foregoing letter was "The + Canvasser's Tale," later included in the volume, Tom Sawyer Abroad, + and Other Stories. It is far from being Mark Twain's best work, but + was accepted and printed in the Atlantic. David Gray was an able + journalist and editor whom Mark Twain had known in Buffalo. + + The "sketch of Elizabeth's time" is a brilliant piece of writing + --an imaginary record of conversation and court manners in the good + old days of free speech and performance, phrased in the language of + the period. Gray, John Hay, Twichell, and others who had a chance + to see it thought highly of it, and Hay had it set in type and a few + proofs taken for private circulation. Some years afterward a West + Point officer had a special font of antique type made for it, and + printed a hundred copies. But the present-day reader would hardly + be willing to include "Fireside Conversation in the Time of Queen + Elizabeth" in Mark Twain's collected works. + + Clemens was a strong Republican in those days, as his letters of + this period show. His mention of the "caves" in the next is another + reference to "The Canvasser's Tale." + + + To W. D. Howells, in Boston: + + Sept. 14, 1876. +MY DEAR HOWELLS,--Yes, the collection of caves was the origin of it. +I changed it to echoes because these being invisible and intangible, +constituted a still more absurd species of property, and yet a man could +really own an echo, and sell it, too, for a high figure--such an echo as +that at the Villa Siminetti, two miles from Milan, for instance. +My first purpose was to have the man make a collection of caves and +afterwards of echoes; but perceived that the element of absurdity and +impracticability was so nearly identical as to amount to a repetition of +an idea..... + +I will not, and do not, believe that there is a possibility of Hayes's +defeat, but I want the victory to be sweeping..... + +It seems odd to find myself interested in an election. I never was +before. And I can't seem to get over my repugnance to reading or +thinking about politics, yet. But in truth I care little about any +party's politics--the man behind it is the important thing. + +You may well know that Mrs. Clemens liked the Parlor Car--enjoyed it ever +so much, and was indignant at you all through, and kept exploding into +rages at you for pretending that such a woman ever existed--closing each +and every explosion with "But it is just what such a woman would do."-- +"It is just what such a woman would say." They all voted the Parlor Car +perfection--except me. I said they wouldn't have been allowed to court +and quarrel there so long, uninterrupted; but at each critical moment the +odious train-boy would come in and pile foul literature all over them +four or five inches deep, and the lover would turn his head aside and +curse--and presently that train-boy would be back again (as on all those +Western roads) to take up the literature and leave prize candy. + +Of course the thing is perfect, in the magazine, without the train-boy; +but I was thinking of the stage and the groundlings. If the dainty +touches went over their heads, the train-boy and other possible +interruptions would fetch them every time. Would it mar the flow of the +thing too much to insert that devil? I thought it over a couple of hours +and concluded it wouldn't, and that he ought to be in for the sake of the +groundlings (and to get new copyright on the piece.) + +And it seemed to me that now that the fourth act is so successfully +written, why not go ahead and write the 3 preceding acts? And then after +it is finished, let me put into it a low-comedy character (the girl's or +the lover's father or uncle) and gobble a big pecuniary interest in your +work for myself. Do not let this generous proposition disturb your rest +--but do write the other 3 acts, and then it will be valuable to +managers. And don't go and sell it to anybody, like Harte, but keep it +for yourself. + +Harte's play can be doctored till it will be entirely acceptable and then +it will clear a great sum every year. I am out of all patience with +Harte for selling it. The play entertained me hugely, even in its +present crude state. + Love to you all. + Yrs ever, + MARK + + + Following the Sellers success, Clemens had made many attempts at + dramatic writing. Such undertakings had uniformly failed, but he + had always been willing to try again. In the next letter we get the + beginning of what proved his first and last direct literary + association, that is to say, collaboration, with Bret Harte. + Clemens had great admiration for Harte's ability and believed that + between them they could turn out a successful play. Whether or not + this belief was justified will appear later. Howells's biography of + Hayes, meanwhile, had not gone well. He reported that only two + thousand copies had been sold in what was now the height of the + campaign. "There's success for you," he said; "it makes me despair + of the Republic." + + Clemens, on his part, had made a speech for Hayes that Howells + declared had put civil-service reform in a nutshell; he added: "You + are the only Republican orator, quoted without distinction of party + by all the newspapers." + + + To W. D. Howells, in Boston: + + HARTFORD, Oct. 11, 1876. +MY DEAR HOWELLS, This is a secret, to be known to nobody but you (of +course I comprehend that Mrs. Howells is part of you) that Bret Harte +came up here the other day and asked me to help him write a play and +divide the swag, and I agreed. I am to put in Scotty Briggs (See Buck +Fanshaw's Funeral, in "Roughing It.") and he is to put in a Chinaman (a, +wonderfully funny creature, as Bret presents him--for 5 minutes--in his +Sandy Bar play.) This Chinaman is to be the character of the play, and +both of us will work on him and develop him. Bret is to draw a plot, and +I am to do the same; we shall use the best of the two, or gouge from both +and build a third. My plot is built--finished it yesterday--six days' +work, 8 or 9 hours a day, and has nearly killed me. + +Now the favor I ask of you is that you will have the words "Ah Sin, a +Drama," printed in the middle of a note-paper page and send the same to +me, with Bill. We don't want anybody to know that we are building this +play. I can't get this title page printed here without having to lie so +much that the thought of it is disagreeable to one reared as I have been. +And yet the title of the play must be printed--the rest of the +application for copyright is allowable in penmanship. + +We have got the very best gang of servants in America, now. When George +first came he was one of the most religious of men. He had but one +fault--young George Washington's. But I have trained him; and now it +fairly breaks Mrs. Clemens's heart to hear George stand at that front +door and lie to the unwelcome visitor. But your time is valuable; I must +not dwell upon these things.....I'll ask Warner and Harte if they'll do +Blindfold Novelettes. Some time I'll simplify that plot. All it needs +is that the hanging and the marriage shall not be appointed for the same +day. I got over that difficulty, but it required too much MS to +reconcile the thing--so the movement of the story was clogged. + +I came near agreeing to make political speeches with our candidate for +Governor the 16th and 23 inst., but I had to give up the idea, for Harte +and I will be here at work then. + Yrs ever, + MARK + + + Mark Twain was writing few letters these days to any one but + Howells, yet in November he sent one to an old friend of his youth, + Burrough, the literary chair-maker who had roomed with him in the + days when he had been setting type for the St. Louis Evening News. + + + To Mr. Burrough, of St. Louis: + + HARTFORD, Nov. 1, 1876. +MY DEAR BURROUGHS,--As you describe me I can picture myself as I was 20 +years ago. The portrait is correct. You think I have grown some; upon +my word there was room for it. You have described a callow fool, a self- +sufficient ass, a mere human tumble-bug.... imagining that he is +remodeling the world and is entirely capable of doing it right. +Ignorance, intolerance, egotism, self-assertion, opaque perception, dense +and pitiful chuckle-headedness--and an almost pathetic unconsciousness of +it all. That is what I was at 19 and 20; and that is what the average +Southerner is at 60 today. Northerners, too, of a certain grade. It is +of children like this that voters are made. And such is the primal +source of our government! A man hardly knows whether to swear or cry +over it. + +I think I comprehend the position there--perfect freedom to vote just as +you choose, provided you choose to vote as other people think--social +ostracism, otherwise. The same thing exists here, among the Irish. +An Irish Republican is a pariah among his people. Yet that race find +fault with the same spirit in Know-Nothingism. + +Fortunately a good deal of experience of men enabled me to choose my +residence wisely. I live in the freest corner of the country. There are +no social disabilities between me and my Democratic personal friends. +We break the bread and eat the salt of hospitality freely together and +never dream of such a thing as offering impertinent interference in each +other's political opinions. + +Don't you ever come to New York again and not run up here to see me. I +Suppose we were away for the summer when you were East; but no matter, +you could have telegraphed and found out. We were at Elmira N. Y. and +right on your road, and could have given you a good time if you had +allowed us the chance. + +Yes, Will Bowen and I have exchanged letters now and then for several +years, but I suspect that I made him mad with my last--shortly after you +saw him in St. Louis, I judge. There is one thing which I can't stand +and won't stand, from many people. That is sham sentimentality--the kind +a school-girl puts into her graduating composition; the sort that makes +up the Original Poetry column of a country newspaper; the rot that deals +in the "happy days of yore," the "sweet yet melancholy past," with its +"blighted hopes" and its "vanished dreams" and all that sort of drivel. +Will's were always of this stamp. I stood it years. When I get a letter +like that from a grown man and he a widower with a family, it gives me +the stomach ache. And I just told Will Bowen so, last summer. I told +him to stop being 16 at 40; told him to stop drooling about the sweet yet +melancholy past, and take a pill. I said there was but one solitary +thing about the past worth remembering, and that was the fact that it is +the past--can't be restored. Well, I exaggerated some of these truths a +little--but only a little--but my idea was to kill his sham +sentimentality once and forever, and so make a good fellow of him again. +I went to the unheard-of trouble of re-writing the letter and saying the +same harsh things softly, so as to sugarcoat the anguish and make it a +little more endurable and I asked him to write and thank me honestly for +doing him the best and kindliest favor that any friend ever had done him +--but he hasn't done it yet. Maybe he will, sometime. I am grateful to +God that I got that letter off before he was married (I get that news +from you) else he would just have slobbered all over me and drowned me +when that event happened. + +I enclose photograph for the young ladies. I will remark that I do not +wear seal-skin for grandeur, but because I found, when I used to lecture +in the winter, that nothing else was able to keep a man warm sometimes, +in these high latitudes. I wish you had sent pictures of yourself and +family--I'll trade picture for picture with you, straight through, if you +are commercially inclined. + Your old friend, + SAML L. CLEMENS. + + + + +XVII. + +LETTERS, 1877. TO BERMUDA WITH TWICHELL. PROPOSITION TO TH. NAST. +THE WHITTIER DINNER + + Mark Twain must have been too busy to write letters that winter. + Those that have survived are few and unimportant. As a matter of + fact, he was writing the play, "Ah Sin," with Bret Harte, and + getting it ready for production. Harte was a guest in the Clemens + home while the play was being written, and not always a pleasant + one. He was full of requirements, critical as to the 'menage,' to + the point of sarcasm. The long friendship between Clemens and Harte + weakened under the strain of collaboration and intimate daily + intercourse, never to renew its old fiber. It was an unhappy + outcome of an enterprise which in itself was to prove of little + profit. The play, "Ah Sin," had many good features, and with + Charles T. Parsloe in an amusing Chinese part might have been made a + success, if the two authors could have harmoniously undertaken the + needed repairs. It opened in Washington in May, and a letter from + Parsloe, written at the moment, gives a hint of the situation. + + + From Charles T. Parsloe to S. L. Clemens: + + WASHINGTON, D. C. May 11th, 1877. +MR. CLEMENS,-- I forgot whether I acknowledged receipt of check by +telegram. Harte has been here since Monday last and done little or +nothing yet, but promises to have something fixed by tomorrow morning. +We have been making some improvements among ourselves. The last act is +weak at the end, and I do hope Mr. Harte will have something for a good +finish to the piece. The other acts I think are all right, now. + +Hope you have entirely recovered. I am not very well myself, the +excitement of a first night is bad enough, but to have the annoyance with +Harte that I have is too much for a beginner. I ain't used to it. The +houses have been picking up since Tuesday Mr. Ford has worked well and +hard for us. + Yours in, haste, + CHAS. THOS. PARSLOE. + + + The play drew some good houses in Washington, but it could not hold + them for a run. Never mind what was the matter with it; perhaps a + very small change at the right point would have turned it into a + fine success. We have seen in a former letter the obligation which + Mark Twain confessed to Harte--a debt he had tried in many ways to + repay--obtaining for him a liberal book contract with Bliss; + advancing him frequent and large sums of money which Harte could + not, or did not, repay; seeking to advance his fortunes in many + directions. The mistake came when he introduced another genius into + the intracacies of his daily life. Clemens went down to Washington + during the early rehearsals of "Ah Sin." + + Meantime, Rutherford B. Hayes had been elected President, and + Clemens one day called with a letter of introduction from Howells, + thinking to meet the Chief Executive. His own letter to Howells, + later, probably does not give the real reason of his failure, but it + will be amusing to those who recall the erratic personality of + George Francis Train. Train and Twain were sometimes confused by + the very unlettered; or pretendedly, by Mark Twain's friends. + + + To W. D. Howells, in Boston: + + BALTIMORE, May 1, '77. +MY DEAR HOWELLS,--Found I was not absolutely needed in Washington so I +only staid 24 hours, and am on my way home, now. I called at the White +House, and got admission to Col. Rodgers, because I wanted to inquire +what was the right hour to go and infest the, President. It was my luck +to strike the place in the dead waste and middle of the day, the very +busiest time. I perceived that Mr. Rodgers took me for George Francis +Train and had made up his mind not to let me get at the President; so at +the end of half an hour I took my letter of introduction from the table +and went away. It was a great pity all round, and a great loss to the +nation, for I was brim full of the Eastern question. I didn't get to see +the President or the Chief Magistrate either, though I had sort of a +glimpse of a lady at a window who resembled her portraits. + Yrs ever, + MARK. + + Howells condoled with him on his failure to see the President, + "but," he added, "if you and I had both been there, our combined + skill would have no doubt procured us to be expelled from the White + House by Fred Douglass. But the thing seems to be a complete + failure as it was." Douglass at this time being the Marshal of + Columbia, gives special point to Howells's suggestion. + + Later, in May, Clemens took Twichell for an excursion to Bermuda. + He had begged Howells to go with them, but Howells, as usual, was + full of literary affairs. Twichell and Clemens spent four glorious + days tramping the length and breadth of the beautiful island, and + remembered it always as one of their happiest adventures. "Put it + down as an Oasis!" wrote Twichell on his return, "I'm afraid I shall + not see as green a spot again soon. And it was your invention and + your gift. And your company was the best of it. Indeed, I never + took more comfort in being with you than on this journey, which, my + boy, is saying a great deal." + + + To Howells, Clemens triumphantly reported the success of the + excursion. + + + To W. D. Howells, in Boston: + + FARMINGTON AVENUE, HARTFORD, May 29, 1877. +Confound you, Joe Twichell and I roamed about Bermuda day and night and +never ceased to gabble and enjoy. About half the talk was--"It is a +burning shame that Howells isn't here." "Nobody could get at the very +meat and marrow of this pervading charm and deliciousness like Howells;" +"How Howells would revel in the quaintness, and the simplicity of this +people and the Sabbath repose of this land." "What an imperishable +sketch Howells would make of Capt. West the whaler, and Capt. Hope with +the patient, pathetic face, wanderer in all the oceans for 42 years, +lucky in none; coming home defeated once more, now, minus his ship-- +resigned, uncomplaining, being used to this." "What a rattling chapter +Howells would make out of the small boy Alfred, with his alert eye and +military brevity and exactness of speech; and out of the old landlady; +and her sacred onions; and her daughter; and the visiting clergyman; and +the ancient pianos of Hamilton and the venerable music in vogue there-- +and forty other things which we shall leave untouched or touched but +lightly upon, we not being worthy." "Dam Howells for not being here!" +(this usually from me, not Twichell.) + +O, your insufferable pride, which will have a fall some day! If you had +gone with us and let me pay the $50 which the trip and the board and the +various nicknacks and mementoes would cost, I would have picked up enough +droppings from your conversation to pay me 500 per cent profit in the way +of the several magazine articles which I could have written, whereas I +can now write only one or two and am therefore largely out of pocket by +your proud ways. Ponder these things. Lord, what a perfectly bewitching +excursion it was! I traveled under an assumed name and was never +molested with a polite attention from anybody. + Love to you all. + Yrs ever + MARK + + + Aldrich, meantime, had invited the Clemenses to Ponkapog during the + Bermuda absence, and Clemens hastened to send him a line expressing + regrets. At the close he said: + + + To T. B. Aldrich, in Ponkapog, Mass.: + + FARMINGTON AVENUE, HARTFORD, June 3, 1877. +Day after tomorrow we leave for the hills beyond Elmira, N. Y. for the +summer, when I shall hope to write a book of some sort or other to beat +the people with. A work similar to your new one in the Atlantic is what +I mean, though I have not heard what the nature of that one is. Immoral, +I suppose. Well, you are right. Such books sell best, Howells says. +Howells says he is going to make his next book indelicate. He says he +thinks there is money in it. He says there is a large class of the +young, in schools and seminaries who--But you let him tell you. He has +ciphered it all down to a demonstration. + +With the warmest remembrances to the pair of you + Ever Yours + SAMUEL L. CLEMENS. + + + Clemens would naturally write something about Bermuda, and began at + once, "Random Notes of an Idle Excursion," and presently completed + four papers, which Howells eagerly accepted for the Atlantic. Then + we find him plunging into another play, this time alone. + + + To W. D. Howells, in Boston: + + ELMIRA, June 27, 1877. +MY DEAR HOWELLS,--If you should not like the first 2 chapters, send them +to me and begin with Chapter 3--or Part 3, I believe you call these +things in the magazine. I have finished No. 4., which closes the series, +and will mail it tomorrow if I think of it. I like this one, I liked the +preceding one (already mailed to you some time ago) but I had my doubts +about 1 and 2. Do not hesitate to squelch them, even with derision and +insult. + +Today I am deep in a comedy which I began this morning--principal +character, that old detective--I skeletoned the first act and wrote the +second, today; and am dog-tired, now. Fifty-four close pages of MS in 7 +hours. Once I wrote 55 pages at a sitting--that was on the opening +chapters of the "Gilded Age" novel. When I cool down, an hour from now, +I shall go to zero, I judge. + Yrs ever, + MARK. + + + Clemens had doubts as to the quality of the Bermuda papers, and with + some reason. They did not represent him at his best. Nevertheless, + they were pleasantly entertaining, and Howells expressed full + approval of them for Atlantic use. The author remained troubled. + + + To W. D. Howells, in Boston: + + ELMIRA, July 4,1877. +MY DEAR HOWELLS,--It is splendid of you to say those pleasant things. +But I am still plagued with doubts about Parts 1 and 2. If you have any, +don't print. If otherwise, please make some cold villain like Lathrop +read and pass sentence on them. Mind, I thought they were good, at +first--it was the second reading that accomplished its hellish purpose on +me. Put them up for a new verdict. Part 4 has lain in my pigeon-hole a +good while, and when I put it there I had a Christian's confidence in 4 +aces in it; and you can be sure it will skip toward Connecticut tomorrow +before any fatal fresh reading makes me draw my bet. + +I've piled up 151 MS pages on my comedy. The first, second and fourth +acts are done, and done to my satisfaction, too. Tomorrow and next day +will finish the 3rd act and the play. I have not written less than 30 +pages any day since I began. Never had so much fun over anything in my +life-never such consuming interest and delight. (But Lord bless you the +second reading will fetch it!) And just think!--I had Sol Smith Russell +in my mind's eye for the old detective's part, and hang it he has gone +off pottering with Oliver Optic, or else the papers lie. + +I read everything about the President's doings there with exultation. + +I wish that old ass of a private secretary hadn't taken me for George +Francis Train. If ignorance were a means of grace I wouldn't trade that +gorilla's chances for the Archbishop of Canterbury's. + +I shall call on the President again, by and by. I shall go in my war +paint; and if I am obstructed the nation will have the unusual spectacle +of a private secretary with a pen over one ear a tomahawk over the other. + +I read the entire Atlantic this time. Wonderful number. Mrs. Rose Terry +Cooke's story was a ten-strike. I wish she would write 12 old-time New +England tales a year. + +Good times to you all! Mind if you don't run here for a few days you +will go to hence without having had a fore-glimpse of heaven. + + MARK. + + + The play, "Ah Sin," that had done little enough in Washington, was + that summer given another trial by Augustin Daly, at the Fifth + Avenue Theater, New York, with a fine company. Clemens had + undertaken to doctor the play, and it would seem to have had an + enthusiastic reception on the opening night. But it was a summer + audience, unspoiled by many attractions. "Ah Sin" was never a + success in the New York season--never a money-maker on the road. + + The reference in the first paragraph of the letter that follows is + to the Bermuda chapters which Mark Twain was publishing + simultaneously in England and America. + + + ELMIRA, Aug 3,1877. +MY DEAR HOWELLS,--I have mailed one set of the slips to London, and told +Bentley you would print Sept. 15, in October Atlantic, and he must not +print earlier in Temple Bar. Have I got the dates and things right? + +I am powerful glad to see that No. 1 reads a nation sight better in print +than it did in MS. I told Bentley we'd send him the slips, each time, 6 +weeks before day of publication. We can do that can't we? Two months +ahead would be still better I suppose, but I don't know. + +"Ah Sin" went a-booming at the Fifth Avenue. The reception of Col. +Sellers was calm compared to it. + +*The criticisms were just; the criticisms of the great New York dailies +are always just, intelligent, and square and honest--notwithstanding, +by a blunder which nobody was seriously to blame for, I was made to say +exactly the opposite of this in a newspaper some time ago. Never said it +at all, and moreover I never thought it. I could not publicly correct it +before the play appeared in New York, because that would look as if I had +really said that thing and then was moved by fears for my pocket and my +reputation to take it back. But I can correct it now, and shall do it; +for now my motives cannot be impugned. When I began this letter, it had +not occurred to me to use you in this connection, but it occurs to me +now. Your opinion and mine, uttered a year ago, and repeated more than +once since, that the candor and ability of the New York critics were +beyond question, is a matter which makes it proper enough that I should +speak through you at this time. Therefore if you will print this +paragraph somewhere, it may remove the impression that I say unjust +things which I do not think, merely for the pleasure of talking. + +There, now, Can't you say-- + +"In a letter to Mr. Howells of the Atlantic Monthly, Mark Twain describes +the reception of the new comedy 'Ali Sin,' and then goes on to say:" etc. + +Beginning at the star with the words, "The criticisms were just." Mrs. +Clemens says, "Don't ask that of Mr. Howells--it will be disagreeable to +him." I hadn't thought of it, but I will bet two to one on the +correctness of her instinct. We shall see. + +Will you cut that paragraph out of this letter and precede it with the +remarks suggested (or with better ones,) and send it to the Globe or some +other paper? You can't do me a bigger favor; and yet if it is in the +least disagreeable, you mustn't think of it. But let me know, right +away, for I want to correct this thing before it grows stale again. +I explained myself to only one critic (the World)--the consequence was a +noble notice of the play. This one called on me, else I shouldn't have +explained myself to him. + +I have been putting in a deal of hard work on that play in New York, but +it is full of incurable defects. + +My old Plunkett family seemed wonderfully coarse and vulgar on the stage, +but it was because they were played in such an outrageously and +inexcusably coarse way. The Chinaman is killingly funny. I don't know +when I have enjoyed anything as much as I did him. The people say there +isn't enough of him in the piece. That's a triumph--there'll never be +any more of him in it. + +John Brougham said, "Read the list of things which the critics have +condemned in the piece, and you have unassailable proofs that the play +contains all the requirements of success and a long life." + +That is true. Nearly every time the audience roared I knew it was over +something that would be condemned in the morning (justly, too) but must +be left in--for low comedies are written for the drawing-room, the +kitchen and the stable, and if you cut out the kitchen and the stable the +drawing-room can't support the play by itself. + +There was as much money in the house the first two nights as in the first +ten of Sellers. Haven't heard from the third--I came away. + Yrs ever, + MARK. + + + In a former letter we have seen how Mark Twain, working on a story + that was to stand as an example of his best work, and become one of + his surest claims to immortality (The Adventures of Huckleberry + Finn), displayed little enthusiasm in his undertaking. In the + following letter, which relates the conclusion of his detective + comedy, we find him at the other extreme, on very tiptoe with + enthusiasm over something wholly without literary value or dramatic + possibility. One of the hall-marks of genius is the inability to + discriminate as to the value of its output. "Simon Wheeler, Amateur + Detective" was a dreary, absurd, impossible performance, as wild and + unconvincing in incident and dialogue as anything out of an asylum + could well be. The title which he first chose for it, "Balaam's + Ass," was properly in keeping with the general scheme. Yet Mark + Twain, still warm with the creative fever, had the fullest faith in + it as a work of art and a winner of fortune. It would never see the + light of production, of course. We shall see presently that the + distinguished playwright, Dion Boucicault, good-naturedly + complimented it as being better than "Ahi Sin." One must wonder + what that skilled artist really thought, and how he could do even + this violence to his conscience. + + + To W. D. Howells, in Boston: + + ELMIRA, Wednesday P.M. (1877) +MY DEAR HOWELLS,--It's finished. I was misled by hurried mis-paging. +There were ten pages of notes, and over 300 pages of MS when the play was +done. Did it in 42 hours, by the clock; 40 pages of the Atlantic--but +then of course it's very "fat." Those are the figures, but I don't +believe them myself, because the thing's impossible. + +But let that pass. All day long, and every day, since I finished (in the +rough) I have been diligently altering, amending, re-writing, cutting +down. I finished finally today. Can't think of anything else in the way +of an improvement. I thought I would stick to it while the interest was +hot--and I am mighty glad I did. A week from now it will be frozen--then +revising would be drudgery. (You see I learned something from the fatal +blunder of putting "Ah Sin" aside before it was finished.) + +She's all right, now. She reads in two hours and 20 minutes and will +play not longer than 2 3/4 hours. Nineteen characters; 3 acts; (I +bunched 2 into 1.) + +Tomorrow I will draw up an exhaustive synopsis to insert in the printed +title-page for copyrighting, and then on Friday or Saturday I go to New +York to remain a week or ten days and lay for an actor. Wish you could +run down there and have a holiday. 'Twould be fun. + +My wife won't have "Balaam's Ass"; therefore I call the piece "Cap'n +Simon Wheeler, The Amateur Detective." + Yrs + MARK. + + + To W. D. Howells, in Boston: + + ELMIRA, Aug. 29, 1877. +MY DEAR HOWELLS,--Just got your letter last night. No, dern that +article,--[One of the Bermuda chapters.]--it made me cry when I read it +in proof, it was so oppressively and ostentatiously poor. Skim your eye +over it again and you will think as I do. If Isaac and the prophets of +Baal can be doctored gently and made permissible, it will redeem the +thing: but if it can't, let's burn all of the articles except the tail- +end of it and use that as an introduction to the next article--as I +suggested in my letter to you of day before yesterday. (I had this proof +from Cambridge before yours came.) + +Boucicault says my new play is ever so much better than "Ah Sin;" says +the Amateur detective is a bully character, too. An actor is chawing +over the play in New York, to see if the old Detective is suited to his +abilities. Haven't heard from him yet. + +If you've got that paragraph by you yet, and if in your judgment it would +be good to publish it, and if you absolutely would not mind doing it, +then I think I'd like to have you do it--or else put some other words in +my mouth that will be properer, and publish them. But mind, don't think +of it for a moment if it is distasteful--and doubtless it is. I value +your judgment more than my own, as to the wisdom of saying anything at +all in this matter. To say nothing leaves me in an injurious position-- +and yet maybe I might do better to speak to the men themselves when I go +to New York. This was my latest idea, and it looked wise. + +We expect to leave here for home Sept. 4, reaching there the 8th--but we +may be delayed a week. + +Curious thing. I read passages from my play, and a full synopsis, to +Boucicault, who was re-writing a play, which he wrote and laid aside 3 or +4 years ago. (My detective is about that age, you know.) Then he read a +passage from his play, where a real detective does some things that are +as idiotic as some of my old Wheeler's performances. Showed me the +passages, and behold, his man's name is Wheeler! However, his Wheeler +is not a prominent character, so we'll not alter the names. My Wheeler's +name is taken from the old jumping Frog sketch. + +I am re-reading Ticknor's diary, and am charmed with it, though I still +say he refers to too many good things when he could just as well have +told them. Think of the man traveling 8 days in convoy and familiar +intercourse with a band of outlaws through the mountain fastnesses of +Spain--he the fourth stranger they had encountered in thirty years--and +compressing this priceless experience into a single colorless paragraph +of his diary! They spun yarns to this unworthy devil, too. + +I wrote you a very long letter a day or two ago, but Susy Crane wanted to +make a copy of it to keep, so it has not gone yet. It may go today, +possibly. + +We unite in warm regards to you and yours. + Yrs ever, + MARK. + + + The Ticknor referred to in a former letter was Professor George + Ticknor, of Harvard College, a history-writer of distinction. On + the margin of the "Diary" Mark Twain once wrote, "Ticknor is a + Millet, who makes all men fall in love with him." And adds: "Millet + was the cause of lovable qualities in people, and then he admired + and loved those persons for the very qualities which he (without + knowing it) had created in them. Perhaps it would be strictly truer + of these two men to say that they bore within them the divine + something in whose presence the evil in people fled away and hid + itself, while all that was good in them came spontaneously forward + out of the forgotten walls and comers in their systems where it was + accustomed to hide." + + It is Frank Millet, the artist, he is speaking of--a knightly soul + whom all the Clemens household loved, and who would one day meet his + knightly end with those other brave men that found death together + when the Titanic went down. + + The Clemens family was still at Quarry Farm at the end of August, + and one afternoon there occurred a startling incident which Mark + Twain thought worth setting down in practically duplicate letters to + Howells and to Dr. John Brown. It may be of interest to the reader + to know that John T. Lewis, the colored man mentioned, lived to a + good old age--a pensioner of the Clemens family and, in the course + of time, of H. H. Rogers. Howells's letter follows. It is the + "very long letter" referred to in the foregoing. + + + To W. D. Howells and wife, in Boston: + + ELMIRA, Aug. 25 '77. +MY DEAR HOWELLSES,--I thought I ought to make a sort of record of it for +further reference; the pleasantest way to do that would be to write it to +somebody; but that somebody would let it leak into print and that we wish +to avoid. The Howellses would be safe--so let us tell the Howellses +about it. + +Day before yesterday was a fine summer day away up here on the summit. +Aunt Marsh and Cousin May Marsh were here visiting Susie Crane and Livy +at our farmhouse. By and by mother Langdon came up the hill in the "high +carriage" with Nora the nurse and little Jervis (Charley Langdon's little +boy)--Timothy the coachman driving. Behind these came Charley's wife and +little girl in the buggy, with the new, young, spry, gray horse--a high- +stepper. Theodore Crane arrived a little later. + +The Bay and Susy were on hand with their nurse, Rosa. I was on hand, +too. Susy Crane's trio of colored servants ditto--these being Josie, +house-maid; Aunty Cord, cook, aged 62, turbaned, very tall, very broad, +very fine every way (see her portrait in "A True Story just as I Heard +It" in my Sketches;) Chocklate (the laundress) (as the Bay calls her--she +can't say Charlotte,) still taller, still more majestic of proportions, +turbaned, very black, straight as an Indian--age 24. Then there was the +farmer's wife (colored) and her little girl, Susy. + +Wasn't it a good audience to get up an excitement before? Good +excitable, inflammable material? + +Lewis was still down town, three miles away, with his two-horse wagon, +to get a load of manure. Lewis is the farmer (colored). He is of mighty +frame and muscle, stocky, stooping, ungainly, has a good manly face and a +clear eye. Age about 45--and the most picturesque of men, when he sits +in his fluttering work-day rags, humped forward into a bunch, with his +aged slouch hat mashed down over his ears and neck. It is a spectacle to +make the broken-hearted smile. Lewis has worked mighty hard and remained +mighty poor. At the end of each whole year's toil he can't show a gain +of fifty dollars. He had borrowed money of the Cranes till he owed them +$700 and he being conscientious and honest, imagine what it was to him to +have to carry this stubborn, helpless load year in and year out. + +Well, sunset came, and Ida the young and comely (Charley Langdon's wife) +and her little Julia and the nurse Nora, drove out at the gate behind the +new gray horse and started down the long hill--the high carriage +receiving its load under the porte cochere. Ida was seen to turn her +face toward us across the fence and intervening lawn--Theodore waved +good-bye to her, for he did not know that her sign was a speechless +appeal for help. + +The next moment Livy said, "Ida's driving too fast down hill!" She +followed it with a sort of scream, "Her horse is running away!" + +We could see two hundred yards down that descent. The buggy seemed to +fly. It would strike obstructions and apparently spring the height of a +man from the ground. + +Theodore and I left the shrieking crowd behind and ran down the hill +bare-headed and shouting. A neighbor appeared at his gate--a tenth of a +second too late! the buggy vanished past him like a thought. My last +glimpse showed it for one instant, far down the descent, springing high +in the air out of a cloud of dust, and then it disappeared. As I flew +down the road my impulse was to shut my eyes as I turned them to the +right or left, and so delay for a moment the ghastly spectacle of +mutilation and death I was expecting. + +I ran on and on, still spared this spectacle, but saying to myself: +"I shall see it at the turn of the road; they never can pass that turn +alive." When I came in sight of that turn I saw two wagons there bunched +together--one of them full of people. I said, "Just so--they are staring +petrified at the remains." + +But when I got amongst that bunch, there sat Ida in her buggy and nobody +hurt, not even the horse or the vehicle. Ida was pale but serene. As I +came tearing down, she smiled back over her shoulder at me and said, +"Well, we're alive yet, aren't we?" A miracle had been performed-- +nothing else. + +You see Lewis, the prodigious, humped upon his front seat, had been +toiling up, on his load of manure; he saw the frantic horse plunging down +the hill toward him, on a full gallop, throwing his heels as high as a +man's head at every jump. So Lewis turned his team diagonally across the +road just at the "turn," thus making a V with the fence--the running +horse could not escape that, but must enter it. Then Lewis sprang to the +ground and stood in this V. He gathered his vast strength, and with a +perfect Creedmoor aim he seized the gray horse's bit as he plunged by and +fetched him up standing! + +It was down hill, mind you. Ten feet further down hill neither Lewis nor +any other man could have saved them, for they would have been on the +abrupt "turn," then. But how this miracle was ever accomplished at all, +by human strength, generalship and accuracy, is clean beyond my +comprehension--and grows more so the more I go and examine the ground and +try to believe it was actually done. I know one thing, well; if Lewis +had missed his aim he would have been killed on the spot in the trap he +had made for himself, and we should have found the rest of the remains +away down at the bottom of the steep ravine. + +Ten minutes later Theodore and I arrived opposite the house, with the +servants straggling after us, and shouted to the distracted group on the +porch, "Everybody safe!" + +Believe it? Why how could they? They knew the road perfectly. We might +as well have said it to people who had seen their friends go over +Niagara. + +However, we convinced them; and then, instead of saying something, or +going on crying, they grew very still--words could not express it, I +suppose. + +Nobody could do anything that night, or sleep, either; but there was a +deal of moving talk, with long pauses between pictures of that flying +carriage, these pauses represented--this picture intruded itself all the +time and disjointed the talk. + +But yesterday evening late, when Lewis arrived from down town he found +his supper spread, and some presents of books there, with very +complimentary writings on the fly-leaves, and certain very complimentary +letters, and more or less greenbacks of dignified denomination pinned to +these letters and fly-leaves,--and one said, among other things, (signed +by the Cranes) "We cancel $400 of your indebtedness to us," &c. &c. + +(The end thereof is not yet, of course, for Charley Langdon is West and +will arrive ignorant of all these things, today.) + +The supper-room had been kept locked and imposingly secret and mysterious +until Lewis should arrive; but around that part of the house were +gathered Lewis's wife and child, Chocklate, Josie, Aunty Cord and our +Rosa, canvassing things and waiting impatiently. They were all on hand +when the curtain rose. + +Now, Aunty Cord is a violent Methodist and Lewis an implacable Dunker-- +Baptist. Those two are inveterate religious disputants. The revealments +having been made Aunty Cord said with effusion-- + +"Now, let folks go on saying there ain't no God! Lewis, the Lord sent +you there to stop that horse." + +Says Lewis: + +"Then who sent the horse there in sich a shape?" + +But I want to call your attention to one thing. When Lewis arrived the +other evening, after saving those lives by a feat which I think is the +most marvelous of any I can call to mind--when he arrived, hunched up on +his manure wagon and as grotesquely picturesque as usual, everybody +wanted to go and see how he looked. They came back and said he was +beautiful. It was so, too--and yet he would have photographed exactly as +he would have done any day these past 7 years that he has occupied this +farm. + + Aug. 27. +P. S. Our little romance in real life is happily and satisfactorily +completed. Charley has come, listened, acted--and now John T. Lewis has +ceased to consider himself as belonging to that class called "the poor." + +It has been known, during some years, that it was Lewis's purpose to buy +a thirty dollar silver watch some day, if he ever got where he could +afford it. Today Ida has given him a new, sumptuous gold Swiss stem- +winding stop-watch; and if any scoffer shall say, "Behold this thing is +out of character," there is an inscription within, which will silence +him; for it will teach him that this wearer aggrandizes the watch, not +the watch the wearer. + +I was asked beforehand, if this would be a wise gift, and I said "Yes, +the very wisest of all; I know the colored race, and I know that in +Lewis's eyes this fine toy will throw the other more valuable +testimonials far away into the shade. If he lived in England the Humane +Society would give him a gold medal as costly as this watch, and nobody +would say: "It is out of character." If Lewis chose to wear a town +clock, who would become it better? + +Lewis has sound common sense, and is not going to be spoiled. The +instant he found himself possessed of money, he forgot himself in a plan +to make his old father comfortable, who is wretchedly poor and lives down +in Maryland. His next act, on the spot, was the proffer to the Cranes of +the $300 of his remaining indebtedness to them. This was put off by them +to the indefinite future, for he is not going to be allowed to pay that +at all, though he doesn't know it. + +A letter of acknowledgment from Lewis contains a sentence which raises it +to the dignity of literature: + +"But I beg to say, humbly, that inasmuch as divine providence saw fit to +use me as a instrument for the saving of those presshious lives, the +honner conferd upon me was greater than the feat performed." + +That is well said. + Yrs ever + MARK. + + + Howells was moved to use the story in the. "Contributors' Club," + and warned Clemens against letting it get into the newspapers. He + declared he thought it one of the most impressive things he had ever + read. But Clemens seems never to have allowed it to be used in any + form. In its entirety, therefore, it is quite new matter. + + + To W. D. Howells, in Boston: + + HARTFORD, Sept. 19, 1877. +MY DEAR HOWELLS,-- I don't really see how the story of the runaway horse +could read well with the little details of names and places and things +left out. They are the true life of all narrative. It wouldn't quite +do to print them at this time. We'll talk about it when you come. +Delicacy--a sad, sad false delicacy--robs literature of the best two +things among its belongings. Family-circle narrative and obscene +stories. But no matter; in that better world which I trust we are all +going to I have the hope and belief that they will not be denied us. + +Say--Twichell and I had an adventure at sea, 4 months ago, which I did +not put in my Bermuda articles, because there was not enough to it. But +the press dispatches bring the sequel today, and now there's plenty to +it. A sailless, wasteless, chartless, compassless, grubless old +condemned tub that has been drifting helpless about the ocean for 4 +months and a half, begging bread and water like any other tramp, flying a +signal of distress permanently, and with 13 innocent, marveling +chuckleheaded Bermuda niggers on board, taking a Pleasure Excursion! Our +ship fed the poor devils on the 25th of last May, far out at sea and left +them to bullyrag their way to New York--and now they ain't as near New +York as they were then by 250 miles! They have drifted 750 miles and are +still drifting in the relentless Gulf Stream! What a delicious magazine +chapter it would make--but I had to deny myself. I had to come right out +in the papers at once, with my details, so as to try to raise the +government's sympathy sufficiently to have better succor sent them than +the cutter Colfax, which went a little way in search of them the other +day and then struck a fog and gave it up. + +If the President were in Washington I would telegraph him. + +When I hear that the "Jonas Smith" has been found again, I mean to send +for one of those darkies, to come to Hartford and give me his adventures +for an Atlantic article. + +Likely you will see my today's article in the newspapers. + Yrs ever, + MARK. + +The revenue cutter Colfax went after the Jonas Smith, thinking there was +mutiny or other crime on board. It occurs to me now that, since there is +only mere suffering and misery and nobody to punish, it ceases to be a +matter which (a republican form of) government will feel authorized to +interfere in further. Dam a republican form of government. + + + Clemens thought he had given up lecturing for good; he was + prosperous and he had no love for the platform. But one day an idea + popped into his head: Thomas Nast, the "father of the American + cartoon," had delivered a successful series of illustrated lectures- + talks for which he made the drawings as he went along. Mark Twain's + idea was to make a combination with Nast. His letter gives us the + plan in full. + + + To Thomas Nast, Morristown, N. J.: + + HARTFORD, CONN. 1877. +MY DEAR NAST,--I did not think I should ever stand on a platform again +until the time was come for me to say "I die innocent." But the same old +offers keep arriving. I have declined them all, just as usual, though +sorely tempted, as usual. + +Now, I do not decline because I mind talking to an audience, but because +(1) traveling alone is so heartbreakingly dreary, and (2) shouldering the +whole show is such a cheer-killing responsibility. + +Therefore, I now propose to you what you proposed to me in 1867, ten +years ago (when I was unknown,) viz., that you stand on the platform and +make pictures, and I stand by you and blackguard the audience. I should +enormously enjoy meandering around (to big towns--don't want to go to the +little ones) with you for company. + +My idea is not to fatten the lecture agents and lyceums on the spoils, +but put all the ducats religiously into two equal piles, and say to the +artist and lecturer, "Absorb these." + +For instance--[Here follows a plan and a possible list of cities to be +visited. The letter continues] + +Call the gross receipts $100,000 for four months and a half, and the +profit from $60,000 to $75,000 (I try to make the figures large enough, +and leave it to the public to reduce them.) + +I did not put in Philadelphia because Pugh owns that town, and last +winter when I made a little reading-trip he only paid me $300 and +pretended his concert (I read fifteen minutes in the midst of a concert) +cost him a vast sum, and so he couldn't afford any more. I could get up +a better concert with a barrel of cats. + +I have imagined two or three pictures and concocted the accompanying +remarks to see how the thing would go. I was charmed. + +Well, you think it over, Nast, and drop me a line. We should have some +fun. + Yours truly, + SAMUEL L. CLEMENS. + + + The plan came to nothing. Nast, like Clemens, had no special taste + for platforming, and while undoubtedly there would have been large + profits in the combination, the promise of the venture did not + compel his acceptance. + + In spite of his distaste for the platform Mark Twain was always + giving readings and lectures, without charge, for some worthy + Hartford cause. He was ready to do what he could to help an + entertainment along, if he could do it in his own way--an original + way, sometimes, and not always gratifying to the committee, whose + plans were likely to be prearranged. + + For one thing, Clemens, supersensitive in the matter of putting + himself forward in his own town, often objected to any special + exploitation of his name. This always distressed the committee, who + saw a large profit to their venture in the prestige of his fame. + The following characteristic letter was written in self-defense + when, on one such occasion, a committee had become sufficiently + peevish to abandon a worthy enterprise. + + + To an Entertainment Committee, in Hartford: + + Nov. 9. +E. S. SYKES, Esq: + +Dr. SIR,--Mr. Burton's note puts upon me all the blame of the destruction +of an enterprise which had for its object the succor of the Hartford +poor. That is to say, this enterprise has been dropped because of the +"dissatisfaction with Mr. Clemens's stipulations." Therefore I must be +allowed to say a word in my defense. + +There were two "stipulations"--exactly two. I made one of them; if the +other was made at all, it was a joint one, from the choir and me. + +My individual stipulation was, that my name should be kept out of the +newspapers. The joint one was that sufficient tickets to insure a good +sum should be sold before the date of the performance should be set. +(Understand, we wanted a good sum--I do not think any of us bothered +about a good house; it was money we were after) + +Now you perceive that my concern is simply with my individual +stipulation. Did that break up the enterprise? + +Eugene Burton said he would sell $300 worth of the tickets himself.--Mr. +Smith said he would sell $200 or $300 worth himself. My plan for Asylum +Hill Church would have ensured $150 from that quarter.--All this in the +face of my "Stipulation." It was proposed to raise $1000; did my +stipulation render the raising of $400 or $500 in a dozen churches +impossible? + +My stipulation is easily defensible. When a mere reader or lecturer has +appeared 3 or 4 times in a town of Hartford's size, he is a good deal +more than likely to get a very unpleasant snub if he shoves himself +forward about once or twice more. Therefore I long ago made up my mind +that whenever I again appeared here, it should be only in a minor +capacity and not as a chief attraction. + +Now, I placed that harmless and very justifiable stipulation before the +committee the other day; they carried it to headquarters and it was +accepted there. I am not informed that any objection was made to it, or +that it was regarded as an offense. It seems late in the day, now, after +a good deal of trouble has been taken and a good deal of thankless work +done by the committees, to, suddenly tear up the contract and then turn +and bowl me down from long range as being the destroyer of it. + +If the enterprise has failed because of my individual stipulation, here +you have my proper and reasonable reasons for making that stipulation. + +If it has failed because of the joint stipulation, put the blame there, +and let us share it collectively. + +I think our plan was a good one. I do not doubt that Mr. Burton still +approves of it, too. I believe the objections come from other quarters, +and not from him. Mr. Twichell used the following words in last Sunday's +sermon, (if I remember correctly): + +"My hearers, the prophet Deuteronomy says this wise thing: 'Though ye +plan a goodly house for the poor, and plan it with wisdom, and do take +off your coats and set to to build it, with high courage, yet shall the +croaker presently come, and lift up his voice, (having his coat on,) and +say, Verily this plan is not well planned--and he will go his way; and +the obstructionist will come, and lift up his voice, (having his coat +on,) and say, Behold, this is but a sick plan--and he will go his way; +and the man that knows it all will come, and lift up his voice, (having +his coat on,) and say, Lo, call they this a plan? then will he go his +way; and the places which knew him once shall know him no more forever, +because he was not, for God took him. Now therefore I say unto you, +Verily that house will not be budded. And I say this also: He that +waiteth for all men to be satisfied with his plan, let him seek eternal +life, for he shall need it.'" + +This portion of Mr. Twichell's sermon made a great impression upon me, +and I was grieved that some one had not wakened me earlier so that I +might have heard what went before. + + S. L. CLEMENS. + + + Mr. Sykes (of the firm of Sykes & Newton, the Allen House Pharmacy) + replied that he had read the letter to the committee and that it had + set those gentlemen right who had not before understood the + situation. "If others were as ready to do their part as yourself + our poor would not want assistance," he said, in closing. + + We come now to an incident which assumes the proportions of an + episode-even of a catastrophe--in Mark Twain's career. The disaster + was due to a condition noted a few pages earlier--the inability of + genius to judge its own efforts. The story has now become history-- + printed history--it having been sympathetically told by Howells in + My Mark Twain, and more exhaustively, with a report of the speech + that invited the lightning, in a former work by the present writer. + + The speech was made at John Greenleaf Whittier's seventieth birthday + dinner, given by the Atlantic staff on the evening of December 17, + 1877. It was intended as a huge joke--a joke that would shake the + sides of these venerable Boston deities, Longfellow, Emerson, + Holmes, and the rest of that venerated group. Clemens had been a + favorite at the Atlantic lunches and dinners--a speech by him always + an event. This time he decided to outdo himself. + + He did that, but not in the way he had intended. To use one of his + own metaphors, he stepped out to meet the rainbow and got struck by + lightning. His joke was not of the Boston kind or size. When its + full nature burst upon the company--when the ears of the assembled + diners heard the sacred names of Longfellow, Emerson, and Holmes + lightly associated with human aspects removed--oh, very far removed + --from Cambridge and Concord, a chill fell upon the diners that + presently became amazement, and then creeping paralysis. Nobody + knew afterward whether the great speech that he had so gaily planned + ever came to a natural end or not. Somebody--the next on the + program--attempted to follow him, but presently the company melted + out of the doors and crept away into the night. + + It seemed to Mark Twain that his career had come to an end. Back in + Hartford, sweating and suffering through sleepless nights, he wrote + Howells his anguish. + + + To W. D. Howells, in Boston: + + Sunday Night. 1877. +MY DEAR HOWELLS,--My sense of disgrace does not abate. It grows. I see +that it is going to add itself to my list of permanencies--a list of +humiliations that extends back to when I was seven years old, and which +keep on persecuting me regardless of my repentancies. + +I feel that my misfortune has injured me all over the country; therefore +it will be best that I retire from before the public at present. It will +hurt the Atlantic for me to appear in its pages, now. So it is my +opinion and my wife's that the telephone story had better be suppressed. +Will you return those proofs or revises to me, so that I can use the same +on some future occasion? + +It seems as if I must have been insane when I wrote that speech and saw +no harm in it, no disrespect toward those men whom I reverenced so much. +And what shame I brought upon you, after what you said in introducing me! +It burns me like fire to think of it. + +The whole matter is a dreadful subject--let me drop it here--at least on +paper. + Penitently yrs, + MARK. + + + Howells sent back a comforting letter. "I have no idea of dropping + you out of the Atlantic," he wrote; "and Mr. Houghton has still + less, if possible. You are going to help and not hurt us many a + year yet, if you will.... You are not going to be floored by it; + there is more justice than that, even in this world." + + Howells added that Charles Elliot Norton had expressed just the + right feeling concerning the whole affair, and that many who had not + heard the speech, but read the newspaper reports of it, had found it + without offense. + + Clemens wrote contrite letters to Holmes, Emerson, and Longfellow, + and received most gracious acknowledgments. Emerson, indeed, had + not heard the speech: His faculties were already blurred by the + mental mists that would eventually shut him in. Clemens wrote again + to Howells, this time with less anguish. + + + To W. D. Howells, in Boston: + + HARTFORD, Friday, 1877. +MY DEAR HOWELLS,--Your letter was a godsend; and perhaps the welcomest +part of it was your consent that I write to those gentlemen; for you +discouraged my hints in that direction that morning in Boston--rightly, +too, for my offense was yet too new, then. Warner has tried to hold up +our hands like the good fellow he is, but poor Twichell could not say a +word, and confessed that he would rather take nearly any punishment than +face Livy and me. He hasn't been here since. + +It is curious, but I pitched early upon Mr. Norton as the very man who +would think some generous thing about that matter, whether he said it or +not. It is splendid to be a man like that--but it is given to few to be. + +I wrote a letter yesterday, and sent a copy to each of the three. I +wanted to send a copy to Mr. Whittier also, since the offense was done +also against him, being committed in his presence and he the guest of the +occasion, besides holding the well-nigh sacred place he does in his +people's estimation; but I didn't know whether to venture or not, and so +ended by doing nothing. It seemed an intrusion to approach him, and even +Livy seemed to have her doubts as to the best and properest way to do in +the case. I do not reverence Mr. Emerson less, but somehow I could +approach him easier. + +Send me those proofs, if you have got them handy; I want to submit them +to Wylie; he won't show them to anybody. + +Had a very pleasant and considerate letter from Mr. Houghton, today, and +was very glad to receive it. + +You can't imagine how brilliant and beautiful that new brass fender is, +and how perfectly naturally it takes its place under the carved oak. How +they did scour it up before they sent it! I lied a good deal about it +when I came home--so for once I kept a secret and surprised Livy on a +Christmas morning! + +I haven't done a stroke of work since the Atlantic dinner; have only +moped around. But I'm going to try tomorrow. How could I ever have. + +Ah, well, I am a great and sublime fool. But then I am God's fool, and +all His works must be contemplated with respect. + +Livy and I join in the warmest regards to you and yours, + Yrs ever, + MARK. + +Longfellow, in his reply, said: "I do not believe anybody was much hurt. +Certainly I was not, and Holmes tells me he was not. So I think you may +dismiss the matter from your mind without further remorse." + +Holmes wrote: "It never occurred to me for a moment to take offense, or +feel wounded by your playful use of my name." + +Miss Ellen Emerson replied for her father (in a letter to Mrs. Clemens) +that the speech had made no impression upon him, giving at considerable +length the impression it had made on herself and other members of the +family. + + Clearly, it was not the principals who were hurt, but only those who + held them in awe, though one can realize that this would not make it + much easier for Mark Twain. + + + + +XVIII. + +LETTERS FROM EUROPE, 1878-79. TRAMPING WITH TWICHELL. WRITING A NEW +TRAVEL BOOK. LIFE IN MUNICH + + Whether the unhappy occurrence at the Whittier dinner had anything + to do with Mark Twain's resolve to spend a year or two in Europe + cannot be known now. There were other good reasons for going, one + in particular being a demand for another book of travel. It was + also true, as he explains in a letter to his mother, that his days + were full of annoyances, making it difficult for him to work. He + had a tendency to invest money in almost any glittering enterprise + that came along, and at this time he was involved in the promotion + of a variety of patent rights that brought him no return other than + assessment and vexation. + + Clemens's mother was by this time living with her son Onion and his + wife, in Iowa. + + + To Mrs. Jane Clemens, in Keokuk, Iowa: + + HARTFORD, Feb. 17, 1878 +MY DEAR MOTHER,--I suppose I am the worst correspondent in the whole +world; and yet I grow worse and worse all the time. My conscience +blisters me for not writing you, but it has ceased to abuse me for not +writing other folks. + +Life has come to be a very serious matter with me. I have a badgered, +harassed feeling, a good part of my time. It comes mainly of business +responsibilities and annoyances, and the persecution of kindly letters +from well meaning strangers--to whom I must be rudely silent or else put +in the biggest half of my time bothering over answers. There are other +things also that help to consume my time and defeat my projects. Well, +the consequence is, I cannot write a book at home. This cuts my income +down. Therefore, I have about made up my mind to take my tribe and fly +to some little corner of Europe and budge no more until I shall have +completed one of the half dozen books that lie begun, up stairs. Please +say nothing about this at present. + +We propose to sail the 11th of April. I shall go to Fredonia to meet +you, but it will not be well for Livy to make that trip I am afraid. +However, we shall see. I will hope she can go. + +Mr. Twichell has just come in, so I must go to him. We are all well, and +send love to you all. + Affly, + SAM. + + + He was writing few letters at this time, and doing but little work. + There were always many social events during the winter, and what + with his European plans and a diligent study of the German language, + which the entire family undertook, his days and evenings were full + enough. Howells wrote protesting against the European travel and + berating him for his silence: + + "I never was in Berlin and don't know any family hotel there. + I should be glad I didn't, if it would keep you from going. You + deserve to put up at the Sign of the Savage in Vienna. Really, it's + a great blow to me to hear of that prospected sojourn. It's a + shame. I must see you, somehow, before you go. I'm in dreadfully + low spirits about it. + + "I was afraid your silence meant something wicked." + + Clemens replied promptly, urging a visit to Hartford, adding a + postscript for Mrs. Howells, characteristic enough to warrant + preservation. + + + P. S. to Mrs. Howells, in Boston: + + Feb. '78. +DEAR MRS. HOWELLS. Mrs. Clemens wrote you a letter, and handed it to me +half an hour ago, while I was folding mine to Mr. Howells. I laid that +letter on this table before me while I added the paragraph about R,'s +application. Since then I have been hunting and swearing, and swearing +and hunting, but I can't find a sign of that letter. It is the most +astonishing disappearance I ever heard of. Mrs. Clemens has gone off +driving--so I will have to try and give you an idea of her communication +from memory. Mainly it consisted of an urgent desire that you come to +see us next week, if you can possibly manage it, for that will be a +reposeful time, the turmoil of breaking up beginning the week after. She +wants you to tell her about Italy, and advise her in that connection, if +you will. Then she spoke of her plans--hers, mind you, for I never have +anything quite so definite as a plan. She proposes to stop a fortnight +in (confound the place, I've forgotten what it was,) then go and live in +Dresden till sometime in the summer; then retire to Switzerland for the +hottest season, then stay a while in Venice and put in the winter in +Munich. This program subject to modifications according to +circumstances. She said something about some little by-trips here and +there, but they didn't stick in my memory because the idea didn't charm +me. + +(They have just telephoned me from the Courant office that Bayard Taylor +and family have taken rooms in our ship, the Holsatia, for the 11th +April.) + +Do come, if you possibly can!--and remember and don't forget to avoid +letting Mrs. Clemens find out I lost her letter. Just answer her the +same as if you had got it. + Sincerely yours + S. L. CLEMENS. + + + The Howellses came, as invited, for a final reunion before the + breaking up. This was in the early half of March; the Clemenses + were to sail on the 11th of the following month. + + Orion Clemens, meantime, had conceived a new literary idea and was + piling in his MS. as fast as possible to get his brother's judgment + on it before the sailing-date. It was not a very good time to send + MS., but Mark Twain seems to have read it and given it some + consideration. "The Journey in Heaven," of his own, which he + mentions, was the story published so many years later under the + title of "Captain Stormfield's Visit to Heaven." He had began it in + 1868, on his voyage to San Francisco, it having been suggested by + conversations with Capt. Ned Wakeman, of one of the Pacific + steamers. Wakeman also appears in 'Roughing It,' Chap. L, as Capt. + Ned Blakely, and again in one of the "Rambling Notes of an Idle + Excursion," as "Captain Hurricane Jones." + + + To Orion Clemens, in Keokuk: + + HARTFORD, Mch. 23, 1878. +MY DEAR BRO.,--Every man must learn his trade--not pick it up. God +requires that he learn it by slow and painful processes. The apprentice- +hand, in black-smithing, in medicine, in literature, in everything, is a +thing that can't be hidden. It always shows. + +But happily there is a market for apprentice work, else the "Innocents +Abroad" would have had no sale. Happily, too, there's a wider market for +some sorts of apprentice literature than there is for the very best of +journey-work. This work of yours is exceedingly crude, but I am free to +say it is less crude than I expected it to be, and considerably better +work than I believed you could do, it is too crude to offer to any +prominent periodical, so I shall speak to the N. Y. Weekly people. To +publish it there will be to bury it. Why could not same good genius have +sent me to the N. Y. Weekly with my apprentice sketches? + +You should not publish it in book form at all--for this reason: it is +only an imitation of Verne--it is not a burlesque. But I think it may be +regarded as proof that Verne cannot be burlesqued. + +In accompanying notes I have suggested that you vastly modify the first +visit to hell, and leave out the second visit altogether. Nobody would, +or ought to print those things. You are not advanced enough in +literature to venture upon a matter requiring so much practice. Let me +show you what a man has got to go through: + +Nine years ago I mapped out my "Journey in Heaven." I discussed it with +literary friends whom I could trust to keep it to themselves. + +I gave it a deal of thought, from time to time. After a year or more I +wrote it up. It was not a success. Five years ago I wrote it again, +altering the plan. That MS is at my elbow now. It was a considerable +improvement on the first attempt, but still it wouldn't do--last year and +year before I talked frequently with Howells about the subject, and he +kept urging me to do it again. + +So I thought and thought, at odd moments and at last I struck what I +considered to be the right plan! Mind I have never altered the ideas, +from the first--the plan was the difficulty. When Howells was here last, +I laid before him the whole story without referring to my MS and he said: +"You have got it sure this time. But drop the idea of making mere +magazine stuff of it. Don't waste it. Print it by itself--publish it +first in England--ask Dean Stanley to endorse it, which will draw some of +the teeth of the religious press, and then reprint in America." I doubt +my ability to get Dean Stanley to do anything of the sort, but I shall do +the rest--and this is all a secret which you must not divulge. + +Now look here--I have tried, all these years, to think of some way of +"doing " hell too--and have always had to give it up. Hell, in my book, +will not occupy five pages of MS I judge--it will be only covert hints, +I suppose, and quickly dropped, I may end by not even referring to it. + +And mind you, in my opinion you will find that you can't write up hell so +it will stand printing. Neither Howells nor I believe in hell or the +divinity of the Savior, but no matter, the Savior is none the less a +sacred Personage, and a man should have no desire or disposition to refer +to him lightly, profanely, or otherwise than with the profoundest +reverence. + +The only safe thing is not to introduce him, or refer to him at all, +I suspect. I have entirely rewritten one book 3 (perhaps 4.) times, +changing the plan every time--1200 pages of MS. wasted and burned--and +shall tackle it again, one of these years and maybe succeed at last. +Therefore you need not expect to get your book right the first time. +Go to work and revamp or rewrite it. God only exhibits his thunder and +lightning at intervals, and so they always command attention. These are +God's adjectives. You thunder and lightning too much; the reader ceases +to get under the bed, by and by. + +Mr. Perkins will send you and Ma your checks when we are gone. But don't +write him, ever, except a single line in case he forgets the checks--for +the man is driven to death with work. + +I see you are half promising yourself a monthly return for your book. +In my experience, previously counted chickens never do hatch. How many +of mine I have counted! and never a one of them but failed! It is much +better to hedge disappointment by not counting.--Unexpected money is a +delight. The same sum is a bitterness when you expected more. + +My time in America is growing mighty short. Perhaps we can manage in +this way: Imprimis, if the N. Y. Weekly people know that you are my +brother, they will turn that fact into an advertisement--a thing of value +to them, but not to you and me. This must be prevented. I will write +them a note to say you have a friend near Keokuk, Charles S. Miller, +who has a MS for sale which you think is a pretty clever travesty on +Verne; and if they want it they might write to him in your care. Then if +any correspondence ensues between you and them, let Mollie write for you +and sign your name--your own hand writing representing Miller's. Keep +yourself out of sight till you make a strike on your own merits there is +no other way to get a fair verdict upon your merits. + +Later-I've written the note to Smith, and with nothing in it which he can +use as an advertisement. I'm called--Good bye-love to you both. + +We leave here next Wednesday for Elmira: we leave there Apl. 9 or 10--and +sail 11th + Yr Bro. + SAM. + + + In the letter that follows the mention of Annie and Sam refers, of + course, to the children of Mrs. Moffett, who had been, Pamela + Clemens. They were grown now, and Annie Moffett was married to + Charles L. Webster, who later was to become Mark Twain's business + partner. The Moffetts and Websters were living in Fredonia at this + time, and Clemens had been to pay them a good-by visit. The Taylor + dinner mentioned was a farewell banquet given to Bayard Taylor, who + had been appointed Minister to Germany, and was to sail on the ship + with Mark Twain. Mark Twain's mother was visiting in Fredonia when + this letter was written. + + + To Mrs. Jane Clemens, in Fredonia: + + Apr. 7, '78. +MY DEAR MOTHER,--I have told Livy all about Annie's beautiful house, and +about Sam and Charley, and about Charley's ingenious manufactures and his +strong manhood and good promise, and how glad I am that he and Annie +married. And I have told her about Annie's excellent house-keeping, also +about the great Bacon conflict; (I told you it was a hundred to one that +neither Livy nor the European powers had heard of that desolating +struggle.) + +And I have told her how beautiful you are in your age and how bright your +mind is with its old-time brightness, and how she and the children would +enjoy you. And I have told her how singularly young Pamela is looking, +and what a fine large fellow Sam is, and how ill the lingering syllable +"my" to his name fits his port and figure. + +Well, Pamela, after thinking it over for a day or so, I came near +inquiring about a state-room in our ship for Sam, to please you, but my +wiser former resolution came back to me. It is not for his good that he +have friends in the ship. His conduct in the Bacon business shows that +he will develop rapidly into a manly man as soon as he is cast loose from +your apron strings. + +You don't teach him to push ahead and do and dare things for himself, but +you do just the reverse. You are assisted in your damaging work by the +tyrannous ways of a village-- villagers watch each other and so make +cowards of each other. After Sam shall have voyaged to Europe by +himself, and rubbed against the world and taken and returned its cuffs, +do you think he will hesitate to escort a guest into any whisky-mill in +Fredonia when he himself has no sinful business to transact there? +No, he will smile at the idea. If he avoids this courtesy now from +principle, of course I find no fault with it at all--only if he thinks it +is principle he may be mistaken; a close examination may show it is only +a bowing to the tyranny of public opinion. + +I only say it may--I cannot venture to say it will. Hartford is not a +large place, but it is broader than to have ways of that sort. Three or +four weeks ago, at a Moody and Sankey meeting, the preacher read a letter +from somebody "exposing" the fact that a prominent clergyman had gone +from one of those meetings, bought a bottle of lager beer and drank it on +the premises (a drug store.) + +A tempest of indignation swept the town. Our clergymen and everybody +else said the "culprit" had not only done an innocent thing, but had done +it in an open, manly way, and it was nobody's right or business to find +fault with it. Perhaps this dangerous latitude comes of the fact that we +never have any temperance "rot" going on in Hartford. + +I find here a letter from Orion, submitting some new matter in his story +for criticism. When you write him, please tell him to do the best he can +and bang away. I can do nothing further in this matter, for I have but 3 +days left in which to settle a deal of important business and answer a +bushel and a half of letters. I am very nearly tired to death. + +I was so jaded and worn, at the Taylor dinner, that I found I could not +remember 3 sentences of the speech I had memorized, and therefore got up +and said so and excused myself from speaking. I arrived here at 3 +o'clock this morning. I think the next 3 days will finish me. The idea +of sitting down to a job of literary criticism is simply ludicrous. + +A young lady passenger in our ship has been placed under Livy's charge. +Livy couldn't easily get out of it, and did not want to, on her own +account, but fully expected I would make trouble when I heard of it. +But I didn't. A girl can't well travel alone, so I offered no objection. +She leaves us at Hamburg. So I've got 6 people in my care, now--which is +just 6 too many for a man of my unexecutive capacity. I expect nothing +else but to lose some of them overboard. + +We send our loving good-byes to all the household and hope to see you +again after a spell. + Affly Yrs. + SAM. + + + There are no other American letters of this period. The Clemens + party, which included Miss Clara Spaulding, of Elmira, sailed as + planned, on the Holsatia, April 11, 1878. As before stated, Bayard + Taylor was on the ship; also Murat Halstead and family. On the eve + of departure, Clemens sent to Howells this farewell word: + + "And that reminds me, ungrateful dog that I am, that I owe as much + to your training as the rude country job-printer owes to the city + boss who takes him in hand and teaches him the right way to handle + his art. I was talking to Mrs. Clemens about this the other day, + and grieving because I never mentioned it to you, thereby seeming to + ignore it, or to be unaware of it. Nothing that has passed under + your eye needs any revision before going into a volume, while all my + other stuff does need so much." + + A characteristic tribute, and from the heart. + + The first European letter came from Frankfort, a rest on their way + to Heidelberg. + + + To W. D. Howells, in Boston: + + FRANKFORT ON THE MAIN, May 4, 1878. +MY DEAR HOWELLS,--I only propose to write a single line to say we are +still around. Ah, I have such a deep, grateful, unutterable sense of +being "out of it all." I think I foretaste some of the advantages of +being dead. Some of the joy of it. I don't read any newspapers or care +for them. When people tell me England has declared war, I drop the +subject, feeling that it is none of my business; when they tell me Mrs. +Tilton has confessed and Mr. B. denied, I say both of them have done that +before, therefore let the worn stub of the Plymouth white-wash brush be +brought out once more, and let the faithful spit on their hands and get +to work again regardless of me--for I am out of it all. + +We had 2 almost devilish weeks at sea (and I tell you Bayard Taylor is a +really lovable man--which you already knew) then we staid a week in the +beautiful, the very beautiful city of Hamburg; and since then we have +been fooling along, 4 hours per day by rail, with a courier, spending the +other 20 in hotels whose enormous bedchambers and private parlors are an +overpowering marvel to me: Day before yesterday, in Cassel, we had a love +of a bedroom ,31 feet long, and a parlor with 2 sofas, 12 chairs, a +writing desk and 4 tables scattered around, here and there in it. Made +of red silk, too, by George. + +The times and times I wish you were along! You could throw some fun into +the journey; whereas I go on, day by day, in a smileless state of solemn +admiration. + +What a paradise this is! What clean clothes, what good faces, what +tranquil contentment, what prosperity, what genuine freedom, what superb +government. And I am so happy, for I am responsible for none of it. I +am only here to enjoy. How charmed I am when I overhear a German word +which I understand. With love from us 2 to you 2. + + MARK. + +P. S. We are not taking six days to go from Hamburg to Heidelberg +because we prefer it. Quite on the contrary. Mrs. Clemens picked up a +dreadful cold and sore throat on board ship and still keeps them in +stock--so she could only travel 4 hours a day. She wanted to dive +straight through, but I had different notions about the wisdom of it. +I found that 4 hours a day was the best she could do. Before I forget +it, our permanent address is Care Messrs. Koester & Co., Backers, +Heidelberg. We go there tomorrow. + +Poor Susy! From the day we reached German soil, we have required Rosa to +speak German to the children--which they hate with all their souls. The +other morning in Hanover, Susy came to us (from Rosa, in the nursery) and +said, in halting syllables, "Papa, vie viel uhr ist es?"--then turned +with pathos in her big eyes, and said, "Mamma, I wish Rosa was made in +English." + +(Unfinished) + + + Frankfort was a brief halting-place, their destination being + Heidelberg. They were presently located there in the beautiful + Schloss hotel, which overlooks the old castle with its forest + setting, the flowing Neckar, and the distant valley of the Rhine. + Clemens, who had discovered the location, and loved it, toward the + end of May reported to Howells his felicities. + + + Part of letter to W. D. Howells, in Boston: + + SCHLOSS-HOTEL HEIDELBERG, + Sunday, a. m., May 26, 1878. +MY DEAR HOWELLS,--....divinely located. From this airy porch among the +shining groves we look down upon Heidelberg Castle, and upon the swift +Neckar, and the town, and out over the wide green level of the Rhine +valley--a marvelous prospect. We are in a Cul-de-sac formed of hill- +ranges and river; we are on the side of a steep mountain; the river at +our feet is walled, on its other side, (yes, on both sides,) by a steep +and wooded mountain-range which rises abruptly aloft from the water's +edge; portions of these mountains are densely wooded; the plain of the +Rhine, seen through the mouth of this pocket, has many and peculiar +charms for the eye. + +Our bedroom has two great glass bird-cages (enclosed balconies) one +looking toward the Rhine valley and sunset, the other looking up the +Neckar cul-de-sac, and naturally we spend nearly all our time in these- +when one is sunny the other is shady. We have tables and chairs in them; +we do our reading, writing, studying, smoking and suppering in them. + +The view from these bird-cages is my despair. The pictures change from +one enchanting aspect to another in ceaseless procession, never keeping +one form half an hour, and never taking on an unlovely one. + +And then Heidelberg on a dark night! It is massed, away down there, +almost right under us, you know, and stretches off toward the valley. +Its curved and interlacing streets are a cobweb, beaded thick with +lights--a wonderful thing to see; then the rows of lights on the arched +bridges, and their glinting reflections in the water; and away at the far +end, the Eisenbahnhof, with its twenty solid acres of glittering gas- +jets, a huge garden, as one may say, whose every plant is a flame. + +These balconies are the darlingest things. I have spent all the morning +in this north one. Counting big and little, it has 256 panes of glass in +it; so one is in effect right out in the free sunshine, and yet sheltered +from wind and rain--and likewise doored and curtained from whatever may +be going on in the bedroom. It must have been a noble genius who devised +this hotel. Lord, how blessed is the repose, the tranquillity of this +place! Only two sounds; the happy clamor of the birds in the groves, and +the muffled music of the Neckar, tumbling over the opposing dykes. It is +no hardship to lie awake awhile, nights, for this subdued roar has +exactly the sound of a steady rain beating upon a roof. It is so healing +to the spirit; and it bears up the thread of one's imaginings as the +accompaniment bears up a song. + +While Livy and Miss Spaulding have been writing at this table, I have sat +tilted back, near by, with a pipe and the last Atlantic, and read Charley +Warner's article with prodigious enjoyment. I think it is exquisite. +I think it must be the roundest and broadest and completest short essay +he has ever written. It is clear, and compact, and charmingly done. + +The hotel grounds join and communicate with the Castle grounds; so we and +the children loaf in the winding paths of those leafy vastnesses a great +deal, and drink beer and listen to excellent music. + +When we first came to this hotel, a couple of weeks ago, I pointed to a +house across the river, and said I meant to rent the centre room on the +3d floor for a work-room. Jokingly we got to speaking of it as my +office; and amused ourselves with watching "my people" daily in their +small grounds and trying to make out what we could of their dress, &c., +without a glass. Well, I loafed along there one day and found on that +house the only sign of the kind on that side of the river: "Moblirte +Wohnung zu Vermiethen!" I went in and rented that very room which I had +long ago selected. There was only one other room in the whole double- +house unrented. + +(It occurs to me that I made a great mistake in not thinking to deliver a +very bad German speech, every other sentence pieced out with English, at +the Bayard Taylor banquet in New York. I think I could have made it one +of the features of the occasion.)--[He used this plan at a gathering of +the American students in Heidelberg, on July 4th, with great effect; so +his idea was not wasted.] + +We left Hartford before the end of March, and I have been idle ever +since. I have waited for a call to go to work--I knew it would come. +Well, it began to come a week ago; my note-book comes out more and more +frequently every day since; 3 days ago I concluded to move my manuscript +over to my den. Now the call is loud and decided at last. So tomorrow I +shall begin regular, steady work, and stick to it till middle of July or +1st August, when I look for Twichell; we will then walk about Germany 2 +or 3 weeks, and then I'll go to work again--(perhaps in Munich.) + +We both send a power of love to the Howellses, and we do wish you were +here. Are you in the new house? Tell us about it. + Yrs Ever + MARK. + + + There has been no former mention in the letters of the coming of + Twichell; yet this had been a part of the European plan. Mark Twain + had invited his walking companion to make a tramp with him through + Europe, as his guest. Material for the new book would grow faster + with Twichell as a companion; and these two in spite of their widely + opposed views concerning Providence and the general scheme of + creation, were wholly congenial comrades. Twichell, in Hartford, + expecting to receive the final summons to start, wrote: "Oh, my! do + you realize, Mark, what a symposium it is to be? I do. To begin + with, I am thoroughly tired, and the rest will be worth everything. + To walk with you and talk with you for weeks together--why, it's my + dream of luxury." + + August 1st brought Twichell, and the friends set out without delay + on a tramp through the Black Forest, making short excursions at + first, but presently extending them in the direction of Switzerland. + Mrs. Clemens and the others remained in Heidelberg, to follow at + their leisure. To Mrs. Clemens her husband sent frequent reports of + their wanderings. It will be seen that their tramp did not confine + itself to pedestrianism, though they did, in fact, walk a great + deal, and Mark Twain in a note to his mother declared, "I loathe all + travel, except on foot." The reports to Mrs. Clemens follow: + + + Letters to Mrs. Clemens, in Heidelberg: + + ALLERHEILIGEN Aug. 5, 1878 8:30 p.m. +Livy darling, we had a rattling good time to-day, but we came very near +being left at Baden-Baden, for instead of waiting in the waiting-room, we +sat down on the platform to wait where the trains come in from the other +direction. We sat there full ten minutes--and then all of a sudden it +occurred to me that that was not the right place. + +On the train the principal of the big English school at Nauheim (of which +Mr. Scheiding was a teacher,) introduced himself to me, and then he +mapped out our day for us (for today and tomorrow) and also drew a map +and gave us directions how to proceed through Switzerland. He had his +entire school with him, taking them on a prodigious trip through +Switzerland--tickets for the round trip ten dollars apiece. He has done +this annually for 10 years. We took a post carriage from Aachen to +Otterhofen for 7 marks--stopped at the "Pflug" to drink beer, and saw +that pretty girl again at a distance. Her father, mother, and two +brothers received me like an ancient customer and sat down and talked as +long as I had any German left. The big room was full of red-vested +farmers (the Gemeindrath of the district, with the Burgermeister at the +head,) drinking beer and talking public business. They had held an +election and chosen a new member and had been drinking beer at his +expense for several hours. It was intensely Black-foresty.) + +There was an Australian there (a student from Stuttgart or somewhere,) +and Joe told him who I was and he laid himself out to make our course +plain, for us--so I am certain we can't get lost between here and +Heidelberg. + +We walked the carriage road till we came to that place where one sees the +foot path on the other side of the ravine, then we crossed over and took +that. For a good while we were in a dense forest and judged we were +lost, but met a native women who said we were all right. We fooled along +and got there at 6 p.m.--ate supper, then followed down the ravine to the +foot of the falls, then struck into a blind path to see where it would +go, and just about dark we fetched up at the Devil's Pulpit on top of the +hills. Then home. And now to bed, pretty sleepy. Joe sends love and I +send a thousand times as much, my darling. + S. L. C. + + + HOTEL GENNIN. +Livy darling, we had a lovely day jogged right along, with a good horse +and sensible driver--the last two hours right behind an open carriage +filled with a pleasant German family--old gentleman and 3 pretty +daughters. At table d'hote tonight, 3 dishes were enough for me, and +then I bored along tediously through the bill of fare, with a back-ache, +not daring to get up and bow to the German family and leave. I meant to +sit it through and make them get up and do the bowing; but at last Joe +took pity on me and said he would get up and drop them a curtsy and put +me out of my misery. I was grateful. He got up and delivered a +succession of frank and hearty bows, accompanying them with an atmosphere +of good-fellowship which would have made even an English family +surrender. Of course the Germans responded--then I got right up and they +had to respond to my salaams, too. So "that was done." + +We walked up a gorge and saw a tumbling waterfall which was nothing to +Giessbach, but it made me resolve to drop you a line and urge you to go +and see Giessbach illuminated. Don't fail--but take a long day's rest, +first. I love you, sweetheart. + SAML. + + + OVER THE GEMMI PASS. + 4.30 p.m. Saturday, Aug. 24, 1878. +Livy darling, Joe and I have had a most noble day. Started to climb (on +foot) at 8.30 this morning among the grandest peaks! Every half hour +carried us back a month in the season. We left them harvesting 2d crop +of hay. At 9 we were in July and found ripe strawberries; at 9.30 we +were in June and gathered flowers belonging to that month; at 10 we were +in May and gathered a flower which appeared in Heidelberg the 17th of +that month; also forget-me-nots, which disappeared from Heidelberg about +mid-May; at 11.30 we were in April (by the flowers;) at noon we had rain +and hail mixed, and wind and enveloping fogs, and considered it March; at +12.30 we had snowbanks above us and snowbanks below us, and considered it +February. Not good February, though, because in the midst of the wild +desolation the forget-me-not still bloomed, lovely as ever. + +What a flower garden the Gemmi Pass is! After I had got my hands full +Joe made me a paper bag, which I pinned to my lapel and filled with +choice specimens. I gathered no flowers which I had ever gathered before +except 4 or 5 kinds. We took it leisurely and I picked all I wanted to. +I mailed my harvest to you a while ago. Don't send it to Mrs. Brooks +until you have looked it over, flower by flower. It will pay. + +Among the clouds and everlasting snows I found a brave and bright little +forget-me-not growing in the very midst of a smashed and tumbled stone- +debris, just as cheerful as if the barren and awful domes and ramparts +that towered around were the blessed walls of heaven. I thought how +Lilly Warner would be touched by such a gracious surprise, if she, +instead of I, had seen it. So I plucked it, and have mailed it to her +with a note. + +Our walk was 7 hours--the last 2 down a path as steep as a ladder, +almost, cut in the face of a mighty precipice. People are not allowed to +ride down it. This part of the day's work taxed our knees, I tell you. +We have been loafing about this village (Leukerbad) for an hour, now we +stay here over Sunday. Not tired at all. (Joe's hat fell over the +precipice--so he came here bareheaded.) I love you, my darling. + + SAML. + + + ST. NICHOLAS, Aug. 26th, '78. +Livy darling, we came through a-whooping today, 6 hours tramp up steep +hills and down steep hills, in mud and water shoe-deep, and in a steady +pouring rain which never moderated a moment. I was as chipper and fresh +as a lark all the way and arrived without the slightest sense of fatigue. +But we were soaked and my shoes full of water, so we ate at once, +stripped and went to bed for 2 « hours while our traps were thoroughly +dried, and our boots greased in addition. Then we put our clothes on hot +and went to table d'hote. + +Made some nice English friends and shall see them at Zermatt tomorrow. + +Gathered a small bouquet of new flowers, but they got spoiled. I sent +you a safety-match box full of flowers last night from Leukerbad. + +I have just telegraphed you to wire the family news to me at Riffel +tomorrow. I do hope you are all well and having as jolly a time as we +are, for I love you, sweetheart, and also, in a measure, the Bays.-- +[Little Susy's word for "babies."]-- Give my love to Clara Spaulding and +also to the cubs. + ` SAML. + + + This, as far as it goes, is a truer and better account of the + excursion than Mark Twain gave in the book that he wrote later. A + Tramp Abroad has a quality of burlesque in it, which did not belong + to the journey at all, but was invented to satisfy the craving for + what the public conceived to be Mark Twain's humor. The serious + portions of the book are much more pleasing--more like himself. + The entire journey, as will be seen, lasted one week more than a + month. + + Twichell also made his reports home, some of which give us + interesting pictures of his walking partner. In one place he wrote: + "Mark is a queer fellow. There is nothing he so delights in as a + swift, strong stream. You can hardly get him to leave one when once + he is within the influence of its fascinations." + + Twichell tells how at Kandersteg they were out together one evening + where a brook comes plunging down from Gasternthal and how he pushed + in a drift to see it go racing along the current. "When I got back + to the path Mark was running down stream after it as hard as he + could go, throwing up his hands and shouting in the wildest ecstasy, + and when a piece went over a fall and emerged to view in the foam + below he would jump up and down and yell. He said afterward that he + had not been so excited in three months." + + In other places Twichell refers to his companion's consideration for + the feeling of others, and for animals. "When we are driving, his + concern is all about the horse. He can't bear to see the whip used, + or to see a horse pull hard." + +After the walk over Gemmi Pass he wrote: "Mark to-day was immensely +absorbed in flowers. He scrambled around and gathered a great variety, +and manifested the intensest pleasure in them. He crowded a pocket of +his note-book with his specimens, and wanted more room." + +Whereupon Twichell got out his needle and thread and some stiff paper he +had and contrived the little paper bag to hang to the front of his vest. + +The tramp really ended at Lausanne, where Clemens joined his party, but a +short excursion to Chillon and Chamonix followed, the travelers finally +separating at Geneva, Twichell to set out for home by way of England, +Clemens to remain and try to write the story of their travels. He +hurried a good-by letter after his comrade: + + + To Rev. J. H. Twichell: + + (No date) +DEAR OLD JOE,--It is actually all over! I was so low-spirited at the +station yesterday, and this morning, when I woke, I couldn't seem to +accept the dismal truth that you were really gone, and the pleasant +tramping and talking at an end. Ah, my boy! it has been such a rich +holiday to me, and I feel under such deep and honest obligations to you +for coming. I am putting out of my mind all memory of the times when I +misbehaved toward you and hurt you: I am resolved to consider it +forgiven, and to store up and remember only the charming hours of the +journeys and the times when I was not unworthy to be with you and share a +companionship which to me stands first after Livy's. It is justifiable +to do this; for why should I let my small infirmities of disposition live +and grovel among my mental pictures of the eternal sublimities of the +Alps? + +Livy can't accept or endure the fact that you are gone. But you are, +and we cannot get around it. So take our love with you, and bear it also +over the sea to Harmony, and God bless you both. + + MARK. + + + From Switzerland the Clemens party worked down into Italy, sight- + seeing, a diversion in which Mark Twain found little enough of + interest. He had seen most of the sights ten years before, when his + mind was fresh. He unburdened himself to Twichell and to Howells, + after a period of suffering. + + + To J. H. Twichell, in Hartford: + + ROME, Nov. 3, '78. +DEAR JOE,--.....I have received your several letters, and we have +prodigiously enjoyed them. How I do admire a man who can sit down and +whale away with a pen just the same as if it was fishing--or something +else as full of pleasure and as void of labor. I can't do it; else, in +common decency, I would when I write to you. Joe, if I can make a book +out of the matter gathered in your company over here, the book is safe; +but I don't think I have gathered any matter before or since your visit +worth writing up. I do wish you were in Rome to do my sightseeing for +me. Rome interests me as much as East Hartford could, and no more. That +is, the Rome which the average tourist feels an interest in; but there +are other things here which stir me enough to make life worth living. +Livy and Clara Spaulding are having a royal time worshiping the old +Masters, and I as good a time gritting my ineffectual teeth over them. + +A friend waits for me. A power of love to you all. + Amen. + MARK. + + + In his letter to Howells he said: "I wish I could give those sharp + satires on European life which you mention, but of course a man + can't write successful satire except he be in a calm, judicial good- + humor; whereas I hate travel, and I hate hotels, and I hate the + opera, and I hate the old masters. In truth, I don't ever seem to + be in a good-enough humor with anything to satirize it. No, I want + to stand up before it and curse it and foam at the mouth, or take a + club and pound it to rags and pulp. I have got in two or three + chapters about Wagner's operas, and managed to do it without showing + temper, but the strain of another such effort would burst me!" + + From Italy the Clemens party went to Munich, where they had arranged + in advance for winter quarters. Clemens claims, in his report of + the matter to Howells, that he took the party through without the + aid of a courier, though thirty years later, in some comment which + he set down on being shown the letter, he wrote concerning this + paragraph: "Probably a lie." He wrote, also, that they acquired a + great affection for Fraulein Dahlweiner: "Acquired it at once and it + outlasted the winter we spent in her house." + + + To W. D. Howells, in Boston: + + No 1a, Karlstrasse, 2e Stock. + Care Fraulein Dahlweiner. + MUNICH, Nov. 17, 1878. +MY DEAR HOWELLS,--We arrived here night before last, pretty well fagged: +an 8-hour pull from Rome to Florence; a rest there of a day and two +nights; then 5 1/2 hours to Bologna; one night's rest; then from noon to +10:30 p.m. carried us to Trent, in the Austrian Tyrol, where the +confounded hotel had not received our message, and so at that miserable +hour, in that snowy region, the tribe had to shiver together in fireless +rooms while beds were prepared and warmed, then up at 6 in the morning +and a noble view of snow-peaks glittering in the rich light of a full +moon while the hotel-devils lazily deranged a breakfast for us in the +dreary gloom of blinking candles; then a solid 12 hours pull through the +loveliest snow ranges and snow-draped forest--and at 7 p.m. we hauled up, +in drizzle and fog, at the domicile which had been engaged for us ten +months before. Munich did seem the horriblest place, the most desolate +place, the most unendurable place!--and the rooms were so small, the +conveniences so meagre, and the porcelain stoves so grim, ghastly, +dismal, intolerable! So Livy and Clara (Spaulding) sat down forlorn, +and cried, and I retired to a private, place to pray. By and by we all +retired to our narrow German beds; and when Livy and I finished talking +across the room, it was all decided that we would rest 24 hours then pay +whatever damages were required, and straightway fly to the south of +France. + +But you see, that was simply fatigue. Next morning the tribe fell in +love with the rooms, with the weather, with Munich, and head over heels +in love with Fraulein Dahlweiner. We got a larger parlor--an ample one +--threw two communicating bedrooms into one, for the children, and now we +are entirely comfortable. The only apprehension, at present, is that the +climate may not be just right for the children, in which case we shall +have to go to France, but it will be with the sincerest regret. + +Now I brought the tribe through from Rome, myself. We never had so +little trouble before. The next time anybody has a courier to put out to +nurse, I shall not be in the market. + +Last night the forlornities had all disappeared; so we gathered around +the lamp, after supper, with our beer and my pipe, and in a condition of +grateful snugness tackled the new magazines. I read your new story +aloud, amid thunders of applause, and we all agreed that Captain Jenness +and the old man with the accordion-hat are lovely people and most +skillfully drawn--and that cabin-boy, too, we like. Of course we are all +glad the girl is gone to Venice--for there is no place like Venice. Now +I easily understand that the old man couldn't go, because you have a +purpose in sending Lyddy by herself: but you could send the old man over +in another ship, and we particularly want him along. Suppose you don't +need him there? What of that? Can't you let him feed the doves? Can't +you let him fall in the canal occasionally? Can't you let his good- +natured purse be a daily prey to guides and beggar-boys? Can't you let +him find peace and rest and fellowship under Pere Jacopo's kindly wing? +(However, you are writing the book, not I--still, I am one of the people +you are writing it for, you understand.) I only want to insist, in a +friendly way, that the old man shall shed his sweet influence frequently +upon the page--that is all. + +The first time we called at the convent, Pere Jacopo was absent; the next +(Just at this moment Miss Spaulding spoke up and said something about +Pere Jacopo--there is more in this acting of one mind upon another than +people think) time, he was there, and gave us preserved rose-leaves to +eat, and talked about you, and Mrs. Howells, and Winnie, and brought out +his photographs, and showed us a picture of "the library of your new +house," but not so--it was the study in your Cambridge house. He was +very sweet and good. He called on us next day; the day after that we +left Venice, after a pleasant sojourn Of 3 or 4 weeks. He expects to +spend this winter in Munich and will see us often, he said. + +Pretty soon, I am going to write something, and when I finish it I shall +know whether to put it to itself or in the "Contributors' Club." That +"Contributors' Club" was a most happy idea. By the way, I think that the +man who wrote the paragraph beginning at the bottom of page 643 has said +a mighty sound and sensible thing. I wish his suggestion could be +adopted. + +It is lovely of you to keep that old pipe in such a place of honor. + +While it occurs to me, I must tell you Susie's last. She is sorely +badgered with dreams; and her stock dream is that she is being eaten up +by bears. She is a grave and thoughtful child, as you will remember. +Last night she had the usual dream. This morning she stood apart (after +telling it,) for some time, looking vacantly at the floor, and absorbed +in meditation. At last she looked up, and with the pathos of one who +feels he has not been dealt by with even-handed fairness, said "But +Mamma, the trouble is, that I am never the bear, but always the person." + +It would not have occurred to me that there might be an advantage, even +in a dream, in occasionally being the eater, instead of always the party +eaten, but I easily perceived that her point was well taken. + +I'm sending to Heidelberg for your letter and Winnie's, and I do hope +they haven't been lost. + +My wife and I send love to you all. + Yrs ever, + MARK. + + + The Howells story, running at this time in the Atlantic, and so much + enjoyed by the Clemens party, was "The Lady of the Aroostook." The + suggestions made for enlarging the part of the "old man" are + eminently characteristic. + + Mark Twain's forty-third birthday came in Munich, and in his letter + conveying this fact to his mother we get a brief added outline of + the daily life in that old Bavarian city. Certainly, it would seem + to have been a quieter and more profitable existence than he had + known amid the confusion of things left behind in, America. + + + To Mrs. Jane Clemens and Mrs. Moffett, in America: + + No. 1a Karlstrasse, + Dec. 1, MUNICH. 1878. +MY DEAR MOTHER AND SISTER,--I broke the back of life yesterday and +started down-hill toward old age. This fact has not produced any effect +upon me that I can detect. + +I suppose we are located here for the winter. I have a pleasant work- +room a mile from here where I do my writing. The walk to and from that +place gives me what exercise I need, and all I take. We staid three +weeks in Venice, a week in Florence, a fortnight in Rome, and arrived +here a couple of weeks ago. Livy and Miss Spaulding are studying drawing +and German, and the children have a German day-governess. I cannot see +but that the children speak German as well as they do English. + +Susie often translates Livy's orders to the servants. I cannot work and +study German at the same time: so I have dropped the latter, and do not +even read the language, except in the morning paper to get the news. + +We have all pretty good health, latterly, and have seldom had to call the +doctor. The children have been in the open air pretty constantly for +months now. In Venice they were on the water in the gondola most of the +time, and were great friends with our gondolier; and in Rome and Florence +they had long daily tramps, for Rosa is a famous hand to smell out the +sights of a strange place. Here they wander less extensively. + +The family all join in love to you all and to Orion and Mollie. + Affly + Your son + SAM. + + + + +XIX. + +LETTERS 1879. RETURN TO AMERICA. THE GREAT GRANT REUNION + +Life went on very well in Munich. Each day the family fell more in love +with Fraulein Dahlweiner and her house. + +Mark Twain, however, did not settle down to his work readily. His +"pleasant work-room" provided exercise, but no inspiration. When he +discovered he could not find his Swiss note-book he was ready to give up +his travel-writing altogether. In the letter that follows we find him +much less enthusiastic concerning his own performances than over the +story by Howells, which he was following in the Atlantic. + +The "detective" chapter mentioned in this letter was not included in +'A Tramp Abroad.' It was published separately, as 'The Stolen White +Elephant' in a volume bearing that title. The play, which he had now +found "dreadfully witless and flat," was no other than "Simon Wheeler, +Detective," which he had once regarded so highly. The "Stewart" referred +to was the millionaire merchant, A. T. Stewart, whose body was stolen in +the expectation of reward. + + + To W. D. Howells, in Boston: + + MUNICH, Jan. 21, (1879) +MY DEAR HOWELLS,--It's no use, your letter miscarried in some way and is +lost. The consul has made a thorough search and says he has not been +able to trace it. It is unaccountable, for all the letters I did not +want arrived without a single grateful failure. Well, I have read-up, +now, as far as you have got, that is, to where there's a storm at sea +approaching,--and we three think you are clear, out-Howellsing Howells. +If your literature has not struck perfection now we are not able to see +what is lacking. It is all such truth--truth to the life; every where +your pen falls it leaves a photograph. I did imagine that everything had +been said about life at sea that could be said, but no matter, it was all +a failure and lies, nothing but lies with a thin varnish of fact,--only +you have stated it as it absolutely is. And only you see people and +their ways, and their insides and outsides as they are, and make them +talk as they do talk. I think you are the very greatest artist in these +tremendous mysteries that ever lived. There doesn't seem to be anything +that can be concealed from your awful all-seeing eye. It must be a +cheerful thing for one to live with you and be aware that you are going +up and down in him like another conscience all the time. Possibly you +will not be a fully accepted classic until you have been dead a hundred +years, --it is the fate of the Shakespeares and of all genuine prophets, +--but then your books will be as common as Bibles, I believe. You're not +a weed, but an oak; not a summer-house, but a cathedral. In that day I +shall still be in the Cyclopedias, too, thus: "Mark Twain; history and +occupation unknown--but he was personally acquainted with Howells." +There--I could sing your praises all day, and feel and believe every bit +of it. + +My book is half finished; I wish to heaven it was done. I have given up +writing a detective novel--can't write a novel, for I lack the faculty; +but when the detectives were nosing around after Stewart's loud remains, +I threw a chapter into my present book in which I have very extravagantly +burlesqued the detective business--if it is possible to burlesque that +business extravagantly. You know I was going to send you that detective +play, so that you could re-write it. Well I didn't do it because I +couldn't find a single idea in it that could be useful to you. It was +dreadfully witless and flat. I knew it would sadden you and unfit you +for work. + +I have always been sorry we threw up that play embodying Orion which you +began. It was a mistake to do that. Do keep that MS and tackle it +again. It will work out all right; you will see. I don't believe that +that character exists in literature in so well-developed a condition as +it exists in Orion's person. Now won't you put Orion in a story? Then +he will go handsomely into a play afterwards. How deliciously you could +paint him--it would make fascinating reading--the sort that makes a +reader laugh and cry at the same time, for Orion is as good and +ridiculous a soul as ever was. + +Ah, to think of Bayard Taylor! It is too sad to talk about. I was so +glad there was not a single sting and so many good praiseful words in the +Atlantic's criticism of Deukalion. + Love to you all + Yrs Ever + MARK + +We remain here till middle of March. + + + In 'A Tramp Abroad' there is an incident in which the author + describes himself as hunting for a lost sock in the dark, in a vast + hotel bedroom at Heilbronn. The account of the real incident, as + written to Twichell, seems even more amusing. + + The "Yarn About the Limburger Cheese and the Box of Guns," like "The + Stolen White Elephant," did not find place in the travel-book, but + was published in the same volume with the elephant story, added to + the rambling notes of "An Idle Excursion." + + With the discovery of the Swiss note-book, work with Mark Twain was + going better. His letter reflects his enthusiasm. + + + To Rev. J. H. Twichell, in Hartford: + + MUNICH, Jan 26 '79. +DEAR OLD JOE,--Sunday. Your delicious letter arrived exactly at the +right time. It was laid by my plate as I was finishing breakfast at 12 +noon. Livy and Clara, (Spaulding) arrived from church 5 minutes later; +I took a pipe and spread myself out on the sofa, and Livy sat by and +read, and I warmed to that butcher the moment he began to swear. There +is more than one way of praying, and I like the butcher's way because the +petitioner is so apt to be in earnest. I was peculiarly alive to his +performance just at this time, for another reason, to wit: Last night I +awoke at 3 this morning, and after raging to my self for 2 interminable +hours, I gave it up. I rose, assumed a catlike stealthiness, to keep +from waking Livy, and proceeded to dress in the pitch dark. Slowly but +surely I got on garment after garment--all down to one sock; I had one +slipper on and the other in my hand. Well, on my hands and knees I crept +softly around, pawing and feeling and scooping along the carpet, and +among chair-legs for that missing sock; I kept that up; and still kept it +up and kept it up. At first I only said to myself, "Blame that sock," +but that soon ceased to answer; my expletives grew steadily stronger and +stronger,--and at last, when I found I was lost, I had to sit flat down +on the floor and take hold of something to keep from lifting the roof off +with the profane explosion that was trying to get out of me. I could see +the dim blur of the window, but of course it was in the wrong place and +could give me no information as to where I was. But I had one comfort +--I had not waked Livy; I believed I could find that sock in silence if +the night lasted long enough. So I started again and softly pawed all +over the place,--and sure enough at the end of half an hour I laid my +hand on the missing article. I rose joyfully up and butted the wash-bowl +and pitcher off the stand and simply raised ---- so to speak. Livy +screamed, then said, "Who is that? what is the matter?" I said "There +ain't anything the matter--I'm hunting for my sock." She said, "Are you +hunting for it with a club?" + +I went in the parlor and lit the lamp, and gradually the fury subsided +and the ridiculous features of the thing began to suggest themselves. +So I lay on the sofa, with note-book and pencil, and transferred the +adventure to our big room in the hotel at Heilbronn, and got it on paper +a good deal to my satisfaction. + +I found the Swiss note-book, some time ago. When it was first lost I was +glad of it, for I was getting an idea that I had lost my faculty of +writing sketches of travel; therefore the loss of that note-book would +render the writing of this one simply impossible, and let me gracefully +out; I was about to write to Bliss and propose some other book, when the +confounded thing turned up, and down went my heart into my boots. But +there was now no excuse, so I went solidly to work--tore up a great part +of the MS written in Heidelberg,--wrote and tore up,--continued to write +and tear up,--and at last, reward of patient and noble persistence, my +pen got the old swing again! + +Since then I'm glad Providence knew better what to do with the Swiss +note-book than I did, for I like my work, now, exceedingly, and often +turn out over 30 MS pages a day and then quit sorry that Heaven makes the +days so short. + +One of my discouragements had been the belief that my interest in this +tour had been so slender that I couldn't gouge matter enough out of it to +make a book. What a mistake. I've got 900 pages written (not a word in +it about the sea voyage) yet I stepped my foot out of Heidelberg for the +first time yesterday,--and then only to take our party of four on our +first pedestrian tour--to Heilbronn. I've got them dressed elaborately +in walking costume--knapsacks, canteens, field-glasses, leather leggings, +patent walking shoes, muslin folds around their hats, with long tails +hanging down behind, sun umbrellas, and Alpenstocks. They go all the way +to Wimpfen by rail-thence to Heilbronn in a chance vegetable cart drawn +by a donkey and a cow; I shall fetch them home on a raft; and if other +people shall perceive that that was no pedestrian excursion, they +themselves shall not be conscious of it.--This trip will take 100 pages +or more,--oh, goodness knows how many! for the mood is everything, not +the material, and I already seem to see 300 pages rising before me on +that trip. Then, I propose to leave Heidelberg for good. Don't you see, +the book (1800 MS pages,) may really be finished before I ever get to +Switzerland? + +But there's one thing; I want to tell Frank Bliss and his father to be +charitable toward me in,--that is, let me tear up all the MS I want to, +and give me time to write more. I shan't waste the time--I haven't the +slightest desire to loaf, but a consuming desire to work, ever since I +got back my swing. And you see this book is either going to be compared +with the Innocents Abroad, or contrasted with it, to my disadvantage. +I think I can make a book that will be no dead corpse of a thing and I +mean to do my level best to accomplish that. + +My crude plans are crystalizing. As the thing stands now, I went to +Europe for three purposes. The first you know, and must keep secret, +even from the Blisses; the second is to study Art; and the third to +acquire a critical knowledge of the German language. My MS already shows +that the two latter objects are accomplished. It shows that I am moving +about as an Artist and a Philologist, and unaware that there is any +immodesty in assuming these titles. Having three definite objects has +had the effect of seeming to enlarge my domain and give me the freedom of +a loose costume. It is three strings to my bow, too. + +Well, your butcher is magnificent. He won't stay out of my mind.--I keep +trying to think of some way of getting your account of him into my book +without his being offended--and yet confound him there isn't anything you +have said which he would see any offense in,--I'm only thinking of his +friends--they are the parties who busy themselves with seeing things for +people. But I'm bound to have him in. I'm putting in the yarn about the +Limburger cheese and the box of guns, too--mighty glad Howells declined +it. It seems to gather richness and flavor with age. I have very nearly +killed several companies with that narrative,--the American Artists Club, +here, for instance, and Smith and wife and Miss Griffith (they were here +in this house a week or two.) I've got other chapters that pretty nearly +destroyed the same parties, too. + +O, Switzerland! the further it recedes into the enriching haze of time, +the more intolerably delicious the charm of it and the cheer of it and +the glory and majesty and solemnity and pathos of it grow. Those +mountains had a soul; they thought; they spoke,--one couldn't hear it +with the ears of the body, but what a voice it was!--and how real. Deep +down in my memory it is sounding yet. Alp calleth unto Alp!--that +stately old Scriptural wording is the right one for God's Alps and God's +ocean. How puny we were in that awful presence--and how painless it was +to be so; how fitting and right it seemed, and how stingless was the +sense of our unspeakable insignificance. And Lord how pervading were the +repose and peace and blessedness that poured out of the heart of the +invisible Great Spirit of the Mountains. + +Now what is it? There are mountains and mountains and mountains in this +world--but only these take you by the heart-strings. I wonder what the +secret of it is. Well, time and time again it has seemed to me that I +must drop everything and flee to Switzerland once more. It is a longing +--a deep, strong, tugging longing--that is the word. We must go again, +Joe.--October days, let us get up at dawn and breakfast at the tower. I +should like that first rate. + +Livy and all of us send deluges of love to you and Harmony and all the +children. I dreamed last night that I woke up in the library at home and +your children were frolicing around me and Julia was sitting in my lap; +you and Harmony and both families of Warners had finished their welcomes +and were filing out through the conservatory door, wrecking Patrick's +flower pots with their dress skirts as they went. Peace and plenty abide +with you all! + MARK. + +I want the Blisses to know their part of this letter, if possible. They +will see that my delay was not from choice. + + + Following the life of Mark Twain, whether through his letters or + along the sequence of detailed occurrence, we are never more than a + little while, or a little distance, from his brother Orion. In one + form or another Orion is ever present, his inquiries, his proposals, + his suggestions, his plans for improving his own fortunes, command + our attention. He was one of the most human creatures that ever + lived; indeed, his humanity excluded every form of artificiality-- + everything that needs to be acquired. Talented, trusting, child- + like, carried away by the impulse of the moment, despite a keen + sense of humor he was never able to see that his latest plan or + project was not bound to succeed. Mark Twain loved him, pitied him + --also enjoyed him, especially with Howells. Orion's new plan to + lecture in the interest of religion found its way to Munich, with + the following result: + + + To W. D. Howells, in Boston: + + MUNICH, Feb. 9. (1879) +MY DEAR HOWELLS,--I have just received this letter from Orion--take care +of it, for it is worth preserving. I got as far as 9 pages in my answer +to it, when Mrs. Clemens shut down on it, and said it was cruel, and made +me send the money and simply wish his lecture success. I said I couldn't +lose my 9 pages--so she said send them to you. But I will acknowledge +that I thought I was writing a very kind letter. + +Now just look at this letter of Orion's. Did you ever see the +grotesquely absurd and the heart-breakingly pathetic more closely joined +together? Mrs. Clemens said "Raise his monthly pension." So I wrote to +Perkins to raise it a trifle. + +Now only think of it! He still has 100 pages to write on his lecture, +yet in one inking of his pen he has already swooped around the United +States and invested the result! + +You must put him in a book or a play right away. You are the only man +capable of doing it. You might die at any moment, and your very greatest +work would be lost to the world. I could write Orion's simple biography, +and make it effective, too, by merely stating the bald facts--and this I +will do if he dies before I do; but you must put him into romance. This +was the understanding you and I had the day I sailed. + +Observe Orion's career--that is, a little of it: (1) He has belonged to +as many as five different religious denominations; last March he withdrew +from the deaconship in a Congregational Church and the Superintendency of +its Sunday School, in a speech in which he said that for many months (it +runs in my mind that he said 13 years,) he had been a confirmed infidel, +and so felt it to be his duty to retire from the flock. + +2. After being a republican for years, he wanted me to buy him a +democratic newspaper. A few days before the Presidential election, he +came out in a speech and publicly went over to the democrats; he +prudently "hedged" by voting for 6 state republicans, also. + +The new convert was made one of the secretaries of the democratic +meeting, and placed in the list of speakers. He wrote me jubilantly of +what a ten-strike he was going to make with that speech. All right--but +think of his innocent and pathetic candor in writing me something like +this, a week later: + +"I was more diffident than I had expected to be, and this was increased +by the silence with which I was received when I came forward; so I seemed +unable to get the fire into my speech which I had calculated upon, and +presently they began to get up and go out; and in a few minutes they all +rose up and went away." + +How could a man uncover such a sore as that and show it to another? Not +a word of complaint, you see--only a patient, sad surprise. + +3. His next project was to write a burlesque upon Paradise Lost. + +4. Then, learning that the Times was paying Harte $100 a column for +stories, he concluded to write some for the same price. I read his first +one and persuaded him not to write any more. + +5. Then he read proof on the N. Y. Eve. Post at $10 a week and meekly +observed that the foreman swore at him and ordered him around "like a +steamboat mate." + +6. Being discharged from that post, he wanted to try agriculture--was +sure he could make a fortune out of a chicken farm. I gave him $900 and +he went to a ten-house village a miles above Keokuk on the river bank-- +this place was a railway station. He soon asked for money to buy a horse +and light wagon,--because the trains did not run at church time on Sunday +and his wife found it rather far to walk. + +For a long time I answered demands for "loans" and by next mail always +received his check for the interest due me to date. In the most +guileless way he let it leak out that he did not underestimate the value +of his custom to me, since it was not likely that any other customer of +mine paid his interest quarterly, and this enabled me to use my capital +twice in 6 months instead of only once. But alas, when the debt at last +reached $1800 or $2500 (I have forgotten which) the interest ate too +formidably into his borrowings, and so he quietly ceased to pay it or +speak of it. At the end of two years I found that the chicken farm had +long ago been abandoned, and he had moved into Keokuk. Later in one of +his casual moments, he observed that there was no money in fattening a +chicken on 65 cents worth of corn and then selling it for 50. + +7. Finally, if I would lend him $500 a year for two years, (this was 4 +or 5 years ago,) he knew he could make a success as a lawyer, and would +prove it. This is the pension which we have just increased to $600. The +first year his legal business brought him $5. It also brought him an +unremunerative case where some villains were trying to chouse some negro +orphans out of $700. He still has this case. He has waggled it around +through various courts and made some booming speeches on it. The negro +children have grown up and married off, now, I believe, and their +litigated town-lot has been dug up and carted off by somebody--but Orion +still infests the courts with his documents and makes the welkin ring +with his venerable case. The second year, he didn't make anything. The +third he made $6, and I made Bliss put a case in his hands--about half an +hour's work. Orion charged $50 for it--Bliss paid him $15. Thus four or +five years of laving has brought him $26, but this will doubtless be +increased when he gets done lecturing and buys that "law library." +Meantime his office rent has been $60 a year, and he has stuck to that +lair day by day as patiently as a spider. + +8. Then he by and by conceived the idea of lecturing around America as +"Mark Twain's Brother"--that to be on the bills. Subject of proposed +lecture, "On the, Formation of Character." + +9. I protested, and he got on his warpaint, couched his lance, and ran a +bold tilt against total abstinence and the Red Ribbon fanatics. It +raised a fine row among the virtuous Keokukians. + +10. I wrote to encourage him in his good work, but I had let a mail +intervene; so by the time my letter reached him he was already winning +laurels as a Red Ribbon Howler. + +11. Afterward he took a rabid part in a prayer-meeting epidemic; dropped +that to travesty Jules Verne; dropped that, in the middle of the last +chapter, last March, to digest the matter of an infidel book which he +proposed to write; and now he comes to the surface to rescue our "noble +and beautiful religion" from the sacrilegious talons of Bob Ingersoll. + +Now come! Don't fool away this treasure which Providence has laid at +your feet, but take it up and use it. One can let his imagination run +riot in portraying Orion, for there is nothing so extravagant as to be +out of character with him. + +Well-good-bye, and a short life and a merry one be yours. Poor old +Methusaleh, how did he manage to stand it so long? + Yrs ever, + MARK. + + + To Orion Clemens + (Unsent and inclosed with the foregoing, to W. D. Howells): + + MUNICH, Feb. 9, (1879) +MY DEAR BRO.,--Yours has just arrived. I enclose a draft on Hartford for +$25. You will have abandoned the project you wanted it for, by the time +it arrives,--but no matter, apply it to your newer and present project, +whatever it is. You see I have an ineradicable faith in your +unsteadfastness,--but mind you, I didn't invent that faith, you conferred +it on me yourself. But fire away, fire away! I don't see why a +changeable man shouldn't get as much enjoyment out of his changes, and +transformations and transfigurations as a steadfast man gets out of +standing still and pegging at the same old monotonous thing all the time. +That is to say, I don't see why a kaleidoscope shouldn't enjoy itself as +much as a telescope, nor a grindstone have as good a time as a whetstone, +nor a barometer as good a time as a yardstick. I don't feel like girding +at you any more about fickleness of purpose, because I recognize and +realize at last that it is incurable; but before I learned to accept this +truth, each new weekly project of yours possessed the power of throwing +me into the most exhausting and helpless convulsions of profanity. But +fire away, now! Your magic has lost its might. I am able to view your +inspirations dispassionately and judicially, now, and say "This one or +that one or the other one is not up to your average flight, or is above +it, or below it." + +And so, without passion, or prejudice, or bias of any kind, I sit in +judgment upon your lecture project, and say it was up to your average, +it was indeed above it, for it had possibilities in it, and even +practical ones. While I was not sorry you abandoned it, I should not be +sorry if you had stuck to it and given it a trial. But on the whole you +did the wise thing to lay it aside, I think, because a lecture is a most +easy thing to fail in; and at your time of life, and in your own town, +such a failure would make a deep and cruel wound in your heart and in +your pride. It was decidedly unwise in you to think for a moment of +coming before a community who knew you, with such a course of lectures; +because Keokuk is not unaware that you have been a Swedenborgian, a +Presbyterian, a Congregationalist, and a Methodist (on probation), and +that just a year ago you were an infidel. If Keokuk had gone to your +lecture course, it would have gone to be amused, not instructed, for when +a man is known to have no settled convictions of his own he can't +convince other people. They would have gone to be amused and that would +have been a deep humiliation to you. It could have been safe for you to +appear only where you were unknown--then many of your hearers would think +you were in earnest. And they would be right. You are in earnest while +your convictions are new. But taking it by and large, you probably did +best to discard that project altogether. But I leave you to judge of +that, for you are the worst judge I know of. + +(Unfinished.) + + + That Mark Twain in many ways was hardly less child-like than his + brother is now and again revealed in his letters. He was of + steadfast purpose, and he possessed the driving power which Orion + Clemens lacked; but the importance to him of some of the smaller + matters of life, as shown in a letter like the following, bespeaks a + certain simplicity of nature which he never outgrew: + + + To Rev. J. H. Twichell, in Hartford: + + MUNICH, Feb. 24. (1879) +DEAR OLD JOE,--It was a mighty good letter, Joe--and that idea of yours +is a rattling good one. But I have not sot down here to answer your +letter,--for it is down at my study,--but only to impart some +information. + +For a months I had not shaved without crying. I'd spend 3/4 of an hour +whetting away on my hand--no use, couldn't get an edge. Tried a razor +strop-same result. So I sat down and put in an hour thinking out the +mystery. Then it seemed plain--to wit: my hand can't give a razor an +edge, it can only smooth and refine an edge that has already been given. +I judge that a razor fresh from the hone is this shape V--the long point +being the continuation of the edge--and that after much use the shape is +this V--the attenuated edge all worn off and gone. By George I knew that +was the explanation. And I knew that a freshly honed and freshly +strapped razor won't cut, but after strapping on the hand as a final +operation, it will cut.--So I sent out for an oil-stone; none to be had, +but messenger brought back a little piece of rock the size of a Safety- +match box--(it was bought in a shoemaker's shop) bad flaw in middle of +it, too, but I put 4 drops of fine Olive oil on it, picked out the razor +marked "Thursday" because it was never any account and would be no loss +if I spoiled it--gave it a brisk and reckless honing for 10 minutes, then +tried it on a hair--it wouldn't cut. Then I trotted it through a +vigorous 20-minute course on a razor-strap and tried it on a hair-it +wouldn't cut--tried it on my face--it made me cry--gave it a 5-minute +stropping on my hand, and my land, what an edge she had! We thought we +knew what sharp razors were when we were tramping in Switzerland, but it +was a mistake--they were dull beside this old Thursday razor of mine-- +which I mean to name Thursday October Christian, in gratitude. I took my +whetstone, and in 20 minutes I put two more of my razors in splendid +condition--but I leave them in the box--I never use any but Thursday O. +C., and shan't till its edge is gone--and then I'll know how to restore +it without any delay. + +We all go to Paris next Thursday--address, Monroe & Co., Bankers. + With love + Ys Ever + MARK. + + + In Paris they found pleasant quarters at the Hotel Normandy, but it + was a chilly, rainy spring, and the travelers gained a rather poor + impression of the French capital. Mark Twain's work did not go + well, at first, because of the noises of the street. But then he + found a quieter corner in the hotel and made better progress. In a + brief note to Aldrich he said: "I sleep like a lamb and write like a + lion--I mean the kind of a lion that writes--if any such." He + expected to finish the book in six weeks; that is to say, before + returning to America. He was looking after its illustrations + himself, and a letter to Frank Bliss, of The American Publishing + Company, refers to the frontpiece, which, from time to time, has + caused question as to its origin. To Bliss he says: "It is a thing + which I manufactured by pasting a popular comic picture into the + middle of a celebrated Biblical one--shall attribute it to Titian. + It needs to be engraved by a master." + + The weather continued bad in France and they left there in July to + find it little better in England. They had planned a journey to + Scotland to visit Doctor Brown, whose health was not very good. In + after years Mark Twain blamed himself harshly for not making the + trip, which he declared would have meant so much to Mrs. Clemens. + He had forgotten by that time the real reasons for not going--the + continued storms and uncertainty of trains (which made it barely + possible for them to reach Liverpool in time for their sailing- + date), and with characteristic self-reproach vowed that only + perversity and obstinacy on his part had prevented the journey to + Scotland. From Liverpool, on the eve of sailing, he sent Doctor + Brown a good-by word. + + + To Dr. John Brown, in Edinburgh: + + WASHINGTON HOTEL, LIME STREET, LIVERPOOL. + Aug. (1879) +MY DEAR MR. BROWN,--During all the 15 months we have been spending on the +continent, we have been promising ourselves a sight of you as our latest +and most prized delight in a foreign land--but our hope has failed, our +plan has miscarried. One obstruction after another intruded itself, and +our short sojourn of three or four weeks on English soil was thus +frittered gradually away, and we were at last obliged to give up the idea +of seeing you at all. It is a great disappointment, for we wanted to +show you how much "Megalopis" has grown (she is 7 now) and what a fine +creature her sister is, and how prettily they both speak German. There +are six persons in my party, and they are as difficult to cart around as +nearly any other menagerie would be. My wife and Miss Spaulding are +along, and you may imagine how they take to heart this failure of our +long promised Edinburgh trip. We never even wrote you, because we were +always so sure, from day to day, that our affairs would finally so shape +themselves as to let us get to Scotland. But no,--everything went wrong +we had only flying trips here and there in place of the leisurely ones +which we had planned. + +We arrived in Liverpool an hour ago very tired, and have halted at this +hotel (by the advice of misguided friends)--and if my instinct and +experience are worth anything, it is the very worst hotel on earth, +without any exception. We shall move to another hotel early in the +morning to spend to-morrow. We sail for America next day in the +"Gallic." + +We all join in the sincerest love to you, and in the kindest remembrance +to "Jock"--[Son of Doctor Brown.]--and your sister. + Truly yours, + S. L. CLEMENS. + + + It was September 3, 1879, that Mark Twain returned to America by the + steamer Gallic. In the seventeen months of his absence he had taken + on a "traveled look" and had added gray hairs. A New York paper + said of his arrival that he looked older than when he went to + Germany, and that his hair had turned quite gray. + + Mark Twain had not finished his book of travel in Paris--in fact, + it seemed to him far from complete--and he settled down rather + grimly to work on it at Quarry Farm. When, after a few days no word + of greeting came from Howells, Clemens wrote to ask if he were dead + or only sleeping. Howells hastily sent a line to say that he had + been sleeping "The sleep of a torpid conscience. I will feign that + I did not know where to write you; but I love you and all of yours, + and I am tremendously glad that you are home again. When and where + shall we meet? Have you come home with your pockets full of + Atlantic papers?" Clemens, toiling away at his book, was, as usual, + not without the prospect of other plans. Orion, as literary + material, never failed to excite him. + + + To W. D. Howells, in Boston: + + ELMIRA, Sept. 15, 1879. +MY DEAR HOWELLS,--When and where? Here on the farm would be an elegant +place to meet, but of course you cannot come so far. So we will say +Hartford or Belmont, about the beginning of November. The date of our +return to Hartford is uncertain, but will be three or four weeks hence, +I judge. I hope to finish my book here before migrating. + +I think maybe I've got some Atlantic stuff in my head, but there's none +in MS, I believe. + +Say--a friend of mine wants to write a play with me, I to furnish the +broad-comedy cuss. I don't know anything about his ability, but his +letter serves to remind me of our old projects. If you haven't used +Orion or Old Wakeman, don't you think you and I can get together and +grind out a play with one of those fellows in it? Orion is a field which +grows richer and richer the more he mulches it with each new top-dressing +of religion or other guano. Drop me an immediate line about this, won't +you? I imagine I see Orion on the stage, always gentle, always +melancholy, always changing his politics and religion, and trying to +reform the world, always inventing something, and losing a limb by a new +kind of explosion at the end of each of the four acts. Poor old chap, +he is good material. I can imagine his wife or his sweetheart +reluctantly adopting each of his new religious in turn, just in time to +see him waltz into the next one and leave her isolated once more. + +(Mem. Orion's wife has followed him into the outer darkness, after 30 +years' rabid membership in the Presbyterian Church.) + +Well, with the sincerest and most abounding love to you and yours, from +all this family, I am, + Yrs ever + MARK. + + + The idea of the play interested Howells, but he had twinges of + conscience in the matter of using Orion as material. He wrote: + "More than once I have taken the skeleton of that comedy of ours and + viewed it with tears..... I really have a compunction or two about + helping to put your brother into drama. You can say that he is your + brother, to do what you like with him, but the alien hand might + inflict an incurable hurt on his tender heart." + + As a matter of fact, Orion Clemens had a keen appreciation of his + own shortcomings, and would have enjoyed himself in a play as much + as any observer of it. Indeed, it is more than likely that he would + have been pleased at the thought of such distinguished + dramatization. From the next letter one might almost conclude that + he had received a hint of this plan, and was bent upon supplying + rich material. + + + To W. D. Howells, in Boston: + + ELMIRA, Oct. 9 '79. +MY DEAR HOWELLS,--Since my return, the mail facilities have enabled Orion +to keep me informed as to his intentions. Twenty-eight days ago it was +his purpose to complete a work aimed at religion, the preface to which he +had already written. Afterward he began to sell off his furniture, with +the idea of hurrying to Leadville and tackling silver-mining--threw up +his law den and took in his sign. Then he wrote to Chicago and St. Louis +newspapers asking for a situation as "paragrapher"--enclosing a taste of +his quality in the shape of two stanzas of "humorous rhymes." By a later +mail on the same day he applied to New York and Hartford insurance +companies for copying to do. + +However, it would take too long to detail all his projects. They +comprise a removal to south-west Missouri; application for a reporter's +berth on a Keokuk paper; application for a compositor's berth on a St. +Louis paper; a re-hanging of his attorney's sign, "though it only creaks +and catches no flies;" but last night's letter informs me that he has +retackled the religious question, hired a distant den to write in, +applied to my mother for $50 to re-buy his furniture, which has advanced +in value since the sale--purposes buying $25 worth of books necessary to +his labors which he had previously been borrowing, and his first chapter +is already on its way to me for my decision as to whether it has enough +ungodliness in it or not. Poor Orion! + +Your letter struck me while I was meditating a project to beguile you, +and John Hay and Joe Twichell, into a descent upon Chicago which I dream +of making, to witness the re-union of the great Commanders of the Western +Army Corps on the 9th of next month. My sluggish soul needs a fierce +upstirring, and if it would not get it when Grant enters the meeting +place I must doubtless "lay" for the final resurrection. Can you and Hay +go? At the same time, confound it, I doubt if I can go myself, for this +book isn't done yet. But I would give a heap to be there. I mean to +heave some holiness into the Hartford primaries when I go back; and if +there was a solitary office in the land which majestic ignorance and +incapacity, coupled with purity of heart, could fill, I would run for it. +This naturally reminds me of Bret Harte--but let him pass. + +We propose to leave here for New York Oct. 21, reaching Hartford 24th or +25th. If, upon reflection, you Howellses find, you can stop over here on +your way, I wish you would do it, and telegraph me. Getting pretty +hungry to see you. I had an idea that this was your shortest way home, +but like as not my geography is crippled again--it usually is. + Yrs ever + MARK. + + + The "Reunion of the Great Commanders," mentioned in the foregoing, + was a welcome to General Grant after his journey around the world. + Grant's trip had been one continuous ovation--a triumphal march. + In '79 most of his old commanders were still alive, and they had + planned to assemble in Chicago to do him honor. A Presidential year + was coming on, but if there was anything political in the project + there were no surface indications. Mark Twain, once a Confederate + soldier, had long since been completely "desouthernized"--at least + to the point where he felt that the sight of old comrades paying + tribute to the Union commander would stir his blood as perhaps it + had not been stirred, even in that earlier time, when that same + commander had chased him through the Missouri swamps. Grant, + indeed, had long since become a hero to Mark Twain, though it is + highly unlikely that Clemens favored the idea of a third term. Some + days following the preceding letter an invitation came for him to be + present at the Chicago reunion; but by this time he had decided not + to go. The letter he wrote has been preserved. + + + To Gen. William E. Strong, in Chicago: + + FARMINGTON AVENUE, HARTFORD. + Oct. 28, 1879. +GEN. WM. E. STRONG, CH'M, + AND GENTLEMEN OF THE COMMITTEE: + +I have been hoping during several weeks that it might be my good fortune +to receive an invitation to be present on that great occasion in Chicago; +but now that my desire is accomplished my business matters have so shaped +themselves as to bar me from being so far from home in the first half of +November. It is with supreme regret that I lost this chance, for I have +not had a thorough stirring up for some years, and I judged that if I +could be in the banqueting hall and see and hear the veterans of the Army +of the Tennessee at the moment that their old commander entered the room, +or rose in his place to speak, my system would get the kind of upheaval +it needs. General Grant's progress across the continent is of the +marvelous nature of the returning Napoleon's progress from Grenoble to +Paris; and as the crowning spectacle in the one case was the meeting with +the Old Guard, so, likewise, the crowning spectacle in the other will be +our great captain's meeting with his Old Guard--and that is the very +climax which I wanted to witness. + +Besides, I wanted to see the General again, any way, and renew the +acquaintance. He would remember me, because I was the person who did not +ask him for an office. However, I consume your time, and also wander +from the point--which is, to thank you for the courtesy of your +invitation, and yield up my seat at the table to some other guest who may +possibly grace it better, but will certainly not appreciate its +privileges more, than I should. + With great respect, + I am, Gentlemen, + Very truly yours, + S. L. CLEMENS. + +Private:--I beg to apologize for my delay, gentlemen, but the card of +invitation went to Elmira, N. Y. and hence has only just now reached me. + + + This letter was not sent. He reconsidered and sent an acceptance, + agreeing to speak, as the committee had requested. Certainly there + was something picturesque in the idea of the Missouri private who + had been chased for a rainy fortnight through the swamps of Ralls + County being selected now to join in welcome to his ancient enemy. + + The great reunion was to be something more than a mere banquet. It + would continue for several days, with processions, great + assemblages, and much oratory. + + Mark Twain arrived in Chicago in good season to see it all. Three + letters to Mrs. Clemens intimately present his experiences: his + enthusiastic enjoyment and his own personal triumph. + + The first was probably written after the morning of his arrival. + The Doctor Jackson in it was Dr. A. Reeves Jackson, the guide- + dismaying "Doctor" of Innocents Abroad. + + + To Mrs. Clemens, in Hartford: + + PALMER HOUSE, CHICAGO, Nov. 11. +Livy darling, I am getting a trifle leg-weary. Dr. Jackson called and +dragged me out of bed at noon, yesterday, and then went off. I went down +stairs and was introduced to some scores of people, and among them an +elderly German gentleman named Raster, who said his wife owed her life to +me--hurt in Chicago fire and lay menaced with death a long time, but the +Innocents Abroad kept her mind in a cheerful attitude, and so, with the +doctor's help for the body she pulled through.... They drove me to Dr. +Jackson's and I had an hour's visit with Mrs. Jackson. Started to walk +down Michigan Avenue, got a few steps on my way and met an erect, +soldierly looking young gentleman who offered his hand; said, "Mr. +Clemens, I believe--I wish to introduce myself--you were pointed out to +me yesterday as I was driving down street--my name is Grant." + +"Col. Fred Grant?" + +"Yes. My house is not ten steps away, and I would like you to come and +have a talk and a pipe, and let me introduce my wife." + +So we turned back and entered the house next to Jackson's and talked +something more than an hour and smoked many pipes and had a sociable good +time. His wife is very gentle and intelligent and pretty, and they have +a cunning little girl nearly as big as Bay but only three years old. +They wanted me to come in and spend an evening, after the banquet, with +them and Gen. Grant, after this grand pow-wow is over, but I said I was +going home Friday. Then they asked me to come Friday afternoon, when +they and the general will receive a few friends, and I said I would. +Col. Grant said he and Gen. Sherman used the Innocents Abroad as their +guide book when they were on their travels. + +I stepped in next door and took Dr. Jackson to the hotel and we played +billiards from 7 to 11.30 P.M. and then went to a beer-mill to meet some +twenty Chicago journalists--talked, sang songs and made speeches till 6 +o'clock this morning. Nobody got in the least degree "under the +influence," and we had a pleasant time. Read awhile in bed, slept till +11, shaved, went to breakfast at noon, and by mistake got into the +servants' hall. I remained there and breakfasted with twenty or thirty +male and female servants, though I had a table to myself. + +A temporary structure, clothed and canopied with flags, has been erected +at the hotel front, and connected with the second-story windows of a +drawing-room. It was for Gen. Grant to stand on and review the +procession. Sixteen persons, besides reporters, had tickets for this +place, and a seventeenth was issued for me. I was there, looking down on +the packed and struggling crowd when Gen. Grant came forward and was +saluted by the cheers of the multitude and the waving of ladies' +handkerchiefs--for the windows and roofs of all neighboring buildings +were massed full of life. Gen. Grant bowed to the people two or three +times, then approached my side of the platform and the mayor pulled me +forward and introduced me. It was dreadfully conspicuous. The General +said a word or so--I replied, and then said, "But I'll step back, +General, I don't want to interrupt your speech." + +"But I'm not going to make any--stay where you are--I'll get you to make +it for me." + +General Sherman came on the platform wearing the uniform of a full +General, and you should have heard the cheers. Gen. Logan was going to +introduce me, but I didn't want any more conspicuousness. + +When the head of the procession passed it was grand to see Sheridan, in +his military cloak and his plumed chapeau, sitting as erect and rigid as +a statue on his immense black horse--by far the most martial figure I +ever saw. And the crowd roared again. + +It was chilly, and Gen. Deems lent me his overcoat until night. He came +a few minutes ago--5.45 P.M., and got it, but brought Gen. Willard, who +lent me his for the rest of my stay, and will get another for himself +when he goes home to dinner. Mine is much too heavy for this warm +weather. + +I have a seat on the stage at Haverley's Theatre, tonight, where the Army +of the Tennessee will receive Gen. Grant, and where Gen. Sherman will +make a speech. At midnight I am to attend a meeting of the Owl Club. + +I love you ever so much, my darling, and am hoping to +get a word from you yet. + SAML. + + + Following the procession, which he describes, came the grand + ceremonies of welcome at Haverley's Theatre. The next letter is + written the following morning, or at least soiree time the following + day, after a night of ratification. + + + To Mrs. Clemens, in Hartford: + + CHICAGO, Nov. 12, '79. +Livy darling, it was a great time. There were perhaps thirty people on +the stage of the theatre, and I think I never sat elbow-to-elbow with so +many historic names before. Grant, Sherman, Sheridan, Schofield, Pope, +Logan, Augur, and so on. What an iron man Grant is! He sat facing the +house, with his right leg crossed over his left and his right boot-sole +tilted up at an angle, and his left hand and arm reposing on the arm of +his chair--you note that position? Well, when glowing references were +made to other grandees on the stage, those grandees always showed a +trifle of nervous consciousness--and as these references came frequently, +the nervous change of position and attitude were also frequent. But +Grant!--he was under a tremendous and ceaseless bombardment of praise and +gratulation, but as true as I'm sitting here he never moved a muscle of +his body for a single instant, during 30 minutes! You could have played +him on a stranger for an effigy. Perhaps he never would have moved, but +at last a speaker made such a particularly ripping and blood-stirring +remark about him that the audience rose and roared and yelled and stamped +and clapped an entire minute--Grant sitting as serene as ever--when Gen. +Sherman stepped to him, laid his hand affectionately on his shoulder, +bent respectfully down and whispered in his ear. Gen. Grant got up and +bowed, and the storm of applause swelled into a hurricane. He sat down, +took about the same position and froze to it till by and by there was +another of those deafening and protracted roars, when Sherman made him +get up and bow again. He broke up his attitude once more--the extent of +something more than a hair's breadth--to indicate me to Sherman when the +house was keeping up a determined and persistent call for me, and poor +bewildered Sherman, (who did not know me), was peering abroad over the +packed audience for me, not knowing I was only three feet from him and +most conspicuously located, (Gen. Sherman was Chairman.) + +One of the most illustrious individuals on that stage was "Ole Abe," the +historic war eagle. He stood on his perch--the old savage-eyed rascal-- +three or four feet behind Gen. Sherman, and as he had been in nearly +every battle that was mentioned by the orators his soul was probably +stirred pretty often, though he was too proud to let on. + +Read Logan's bosh, and try to imagine a burly and magnificent Indian, in +General's uniform, striking a heroic attitude and getting that stuff off +in the style of a declaiming school-boy. + +Please put the enclosed scraps in the drawer and I will scrap-book them. + +I only staid at the Owl Club till 3 this morning and drank little or +nothing. Went to sleep without whisky. Ich liebe dish. + + SAML. + + + But it is in the third letter that we get the climax. On the same + day he wrote a letter to Howells, which, in part, is very similar in + substance and need not be included here. + + A paragraph, however, must not be omitted. + + "Imagine what it was like to see a bullet-shredded old battle-flag + reverently unfolded to the gaze of a thousand middle-aged soldiers, + most of whom hadn't seen it since they saw it advancing over + victorious fields, when they were in their prime. And imagine what + it was like when Grant, their first commander, stepped into view + while they were still going mad over the flag, and then right in the + midst of it all somebody struck up, 'When we were marching through + Georgia.' Well, you should have heard the thousand voices lift that + chorus and seen the tears stream down. If I live a hundred years I + shan't ever forget these things, nor be able to talk about them .... + Grand times, my boy, grand times!" + + At the great banquet Mark Twain's speech had been put last on the + program, to hold the house. He had been invited to respond to the + toast of "The Ladies," but had replied that he had already responded + to that toast more than once. There was one class of the community, + he said, commonly overlooked on these occasions--the babies--he + would respond to that toast. In his letter to Howells he had not + been willing to speak freely of his personal triumph, but to Mrs. + Clemens he must tell it all, and with that child-like ingenuousness + which never failed him to his last day. + + + To Mrs. Clemens, in Hartford: + + CHICAGO, Nov. 14 '79. +A little after 5 in the morning. + +I've just come to my room, Livy darling, I guess this was the memorable +night of my life. By George, I never was so stirred since I was born. +I heard four speeches which I can never forget. One by Emory Storrs, one +by Gen. Vilas (O, wasn't it wonderful!) one by Gen. Logan (mighty +stirring), one by somebody whose name escapes me, and one by that +splendid old soul, Col. Bob Ingersoll, --oh, it was just the supremest +combination of English words that was ever put together since the world +began. My soul, how handsome he looked, as he stood on that table, in +the midst of those 500 shouting men, and poured the molten silver from +his lips! Lord, what an organ is human speech when it is played by a +master! All these speeches may look dull in print, but how the lightning +glared around them when they were uttered, and how the crowd roared in +response! It was a great night, a memorable night. I am so richly +repaid for my journey--and how I did wish with all my whole heart that +you were there to be lifted into the very seventh heaven of enthusiasm, +as I was. The army songs, the military music, the crashing applause-- +Lord bless me, it was unspeakable. + +Out of compliment they placed me last in the list--No. 15--I was to "hold +the crowd"--and bless my life I was in awful terror when No. 14. rose, +at a o'clock this morning and killed all the enthusiasm by delivering the +flattest, insipidest, silliest of all responses to "Woman" that ever a +weary multitude listened to. Then Gen. Sherman (Chairman) announced my +toast, and the crowd gave me a good round of applause as I mounted on top +of the dinner table, but it was only on account of my name, nothing more +--they were all tired and wretched. They let my first sentence go in. +silence, till I paused and added "we stand on common ground"--then they +burst forth like a hurricane and I saw that I had them! From that time +on, I stopped at the end of each sentence, and let the tornado of +applause and laughter sweep around me--and when I closed with "And if the +child is but the prophecy of the man, there are mighty few who will doubt +that he succeeded," I say it who oughtn't to say it, the house came down +with a crash. For two hours and a half, now, I've been shaking hands and +listening to congratulations. Gen. Sherman said, "Lord bless you, my +boy, I don't know how you do it--it's a secret that's beyond me--but it +was great--give me your hand again." + +And do you know, Gen. Grant sat through , fourteen speeches like a graven +image, but I fetched him! I broke him up, utterly! He told me he +laughed till the tears came and every bone in his body ached. (And do +you know, the biggest part of the success of the speech lay in the fact +that the audience saw that for once in his life he had been knocked out +of his iron serenity.) + +Bless your soul, 'twas immense. I never was so proud in my life. Lots +and lots of people--hundreds I might say--told me my speech was the +triumph of the evening--which was a lie. Ladies, Tom, Dick and Harry- +even the policemen--captured me in the halls and shook hands, and scores +of army officers said "We shall always be grateful to you for coming." +General Pope came to bunt me up--I was afraid to speak to him on that +theatre stage last night, thinking it might be presumptuous to tackle a +man so high up in military history. Gen. Schofield, and other historic +men, paid their compliments. Sheridan was ill and could not come, but +I'm to go with a General of his staff and see him before I go to Col. +Grant's. Gen. Augur--well, I've talked with them all, received +invitations from them all--from people living everywhere--and as I said +before, it's a memorable night. I wouldn't have missed it for anything +in the world. + +But my sakes, you should have heard Ingersoll's speech on that table! +Half an hour ago he ran across me in the crowded halls and put his arms +about me and said "Mark, if I live a hundred years, I'll always be +grateful for your speech--Lord what a supreme thing it was." But I told +him it wasn't any use to talk, he had walked off with the honors of that +occasion by something of a majority. Bully boy is Ingersoll--traveled +with him in the cars the other day, and you can make up your mind we had +a good time. + +Of course I forgot to go and pay for my hotel car and so secure it, but +the army officers told me an hour ago to rest easy, they would go at +once, at this unholy hour of the night and compel the railways to do +their duty by me, and said "You don't need to request the Army of the +Tennessee to do your desires--you can command its services." + +Well, I bummed around that banquet hall from 8 in the evening till 2 in +the morning, talking with people and listening to speeches, and I never +ate a single bite or took a sup of anything but ice water, so if I seem +excited now, it is the intoxication of supreme enthusiasm. By George, it +was a grand night, a historical night. + +And now it is a quarter past 6 A.M.--so good bye and God bless you and +the Bays,--[Family word for babies]--my darlings + + SAML. + + +Show it to Joe if you want to--I saw some of his friends here. + +Mark Twain's admiration for Robert Ingersoll was very great, and we may +believe that he was deeply impressed by the Chicago speech, when we find +him, a few days later, writing to Ingersoll for a perfect copy to read to +a young girls' club in Hartford. Ingersoll sent the speech, also some of +his books, and the next letter is Mark Twain's acknowledgment. + + + To Col. Robert G. Ingersoll: + + HARTFORD, Dec. 14. +MY DEAR INGERSOLL,--Thank you most heartily for the books--I am devouring +them--they have found a hungry place, and they content it and satisfy it +to a miracle. I wish I could hear you speak these splendid chapters +before a great audience--to read them by myself and hear the boom of the +applause only in the ear of my imagination, leaves a something wanting-- +and there is also a still greater lack, your manner, and voice, and +presence. + +The Chicago speech arrived an hour too late, but I was all right anyway, +for I found that my memory had been able to correct all the errors. +I read it to the Saturday Club (of young girls) and told them to remember +that it was doubtful if its superior existed in our language. + Truly Yours, + S. L. CLEMENS. + + + The reader may remember Mark Twain's Whittier dinner speech of 1877, + and its disastrous effects. Now, in 1879, there was to be another + Atlantic gathering: a breakfast to Dr. Oliver Wendell Holmes, to + which Clemens was invited. He was not eager to accept; it would + naturally recall memories of two years before, but being urged by + both Howells and Warner, he agreed to attend if they would permit + him to speak. Mark Twain never lacked courage and he wanted to + redeem himself. To Howells he wrote: + + + To W. D. Howells, in Boston: + + HARTFORD, Nov. 28, 1879. +MY DEAR HOWELLS,--If anybody talks, there, I shall claim the right to say +a word myself, and be heard among the very earliest--else it would be +confoundedly awkward for me--and for the rest, too. But you may read +what I say, beforehand, and strike out whatever you choose. + +Of course I thought it wisest not to be there at all; but Warner took the +opposite view, and most strenuously. + +Speaking of Johnny's conclusion to become an outlaw, reminds me of +Susie's newest and very earnest longing--to have crooked teeth and +glasses--"like Mamma." + +I would like to look into a child's head, once, and see what its +processes are. + Yrs ever, + S. L. CLEMENS. + + + The matter turned out well. Clemens, once more introduced by + Howells--this time conservatively, it may be said--delivered a + delicate and fitting tribute to Doctor Holmes, full of graceful + humor and grateful acknowledgment, the kind of speech he should have + given at the Whittier dinner of two years before. No reference was + made to his former disaster, and this time he came away covered with + glory, and fully restored in his self-respect. + + + + +XX. + +LETTERS OF 1880, CHIEFLY TO HOWELLS. "THE PRINCE AND THE PAUPER." MARK +TWAIN MUGWUMP SOCIETY + +The book of travel,--[A Tramp Abroad.]--which Mark Twain had hoped to +finish in Paris, and later in Elmira, for some reason would not come to +an end. In December, in Hartford, he was still working on it, and he +would seem to have finished it, at last, rather by a decree than by any +natural process of authorship. This was early in January, 1880. To +Howells he reports his difficulties, and his drastic method of ending +them. + + + To W. D. Howells, in Boston: + + HARTFORD, Jan. 8, '80. +MY DEAR HOWELLS,--Am waiting for Patrick to come with the carriage. +Mrs. Clemens and I are starting (without the children) to stay +indefinitely in Elmira. The wear and tear of settling the house broke +her down, and she has been growing weaker and weaker for a fortnight. +All that time--in fact ever since I saw you--I have been fighting a life- +and-death battle with this infernal book and hoping to get done some day. +I required 300 pages of MS, and I have written near 600 since I saw you-- +and tore it all up except 288. This I was about to tear up yesterday and +begin again, when Mrs. Perkins came up to the billiard room and said, +"You will never get any woman to do the thing necessary to save her life +by mere persuasion; you see you have wasted your words for three weeks; +it is time to use force; she must have a change; take her home and leave +the children here." + +I said, "If there is one death that is painfuller than another, may I get +it if I don't do that thing." + +So I took the 288 pages to Bliss and told him that was the very last line +I should ever write on this book. (A book which required 2600 pages of +MS, and I have written nearer four thousand, first and last.) + +I am as soary (and flighty) as a rocket, to-day, with the unutterable joy +of getting that Old Man of the Sea off my back, where he has been +roosting for more than a year and a half. Next time I make a contract +before writing the book, may I suffer the righteous penalty and be burnt, +like the injudicious believer. + +I am mighty glad you are done your book (this is from a man who, above +all others, feels how much that sentence means) and am also mighty glad +you have begun the next (this is also from a man who knows the felicity +of that, and means straightway to enjoy it.) The Undiscovered starts off +delightfully--I have read it aloud to Mrs. C. and we vastly enjoyed it. + +Well, time's about up--must drop a line to Aldrich. + Yrs ever, + MARK. + + + In a letter which Mark Twain wrote to his brother Orion at this + period we get the first hint of a venture which was to play an + increasingly important part in the Hartford home and fortunes during + the next ten or a dozen years. This was the type-setting machine + investment, which, in the end, all but wrecked Mark Twain's + finances. There is but a brief mention of it in the letter to + Orion, and the letter itself is not worth preserving, but as + references to the "machine" appear with increasing frequency, it + seems proper to record here its first mention. In the same letter + he suggests to his brother that he undertake an absolutely truthful + autobiography, a confession in which nothing is to be withheld. He + cites the value of Casanova's memories, and the confessions of + Rousseau. Of course, any literary suggestion from "Brother Sam" was + gospel to Orion, who began at once piling up manuscript at a great + rate. + + Meantime, Mark Twain himself, having got 'A Tramp Abroad' on the + presses, was at work with enthusiasm on a story begun nearly three + years before at Quarry Farm-a story for children-its name, as he + called. it then, "The Little Prince and The Little Pauper." He was + presently writing to Howells his delight in the new work. + + + To W. D. Howells, in Boston: + + HARTFORD, Mch. 11, '80. +MY DEAR HOWELLS,--.....I take so much pleasure in my story that I am loth +to hurry, not wanting to get it done. Did I ever tell you the plot of +it? It begins at 9 a.m., Jan. 27, 1547, seventeen and a half hours +before Henry VIII's death, by the swapping of clothes and place, between +the prince of Wales and a pauper boy of the same age and countenance (and +half as much learning and still more genius and imagination) and after +that, the rightful small King has a rough time among tramps and ruffians +in the country parts of Kent, whilst the small bogus King has a gilded +and worshipped and dreary and restrained and cussed time of it on the +throne--and this all goes on for three weeks--till the midst of the +coronation grandeurs in Westminster Abbey, Feb. 20, when the ragged true +King forces his way in but cannot prove his genuineness--until the bogus +King, by a remembered incident of the first day is able to prove it for +him--whereupon clothes are changed and the coronation proceeds under the +new and rightful conditions. + +My idea is to afford a realizing sense of the exceeding severity of the +laws of that day by inflicting some of their penalties upon the King +himself and allowing him a chance to see the rest of them applied to +others--all of which is to account for certain mildnesses which +distinguished Edward VI's reign from those that preceded and followed it. + +Imagine this fact--I have even fascinated Mrs. Clemens with this yarn for +youth. My stuff generally gets considerable damning with faint praise +out of her, but this time it is all the other way. She is become the +horseleech's daughter and my mill doesn't grind fast enough to suit her. +This is no mean triumph, my dear sir. + +Last night, for the first time in ages, we went to the theatre--to see +Yorick's Love. The magnificence of it is beyond praise. The language is +so beautiful, the passion so fine, the plot so ingenious, the whole thing +so stirring, so charming, so pathetic! But I will clip from the Courant +--it says it right. + +And what a good company it is, and how like live people they all acted! +The "thee's" and the "thou's" had a pleasant sound, since it is the +language of the Prince and the Pauper. You've done the country a service +in that admirable work.... + Yrs Ever, + MARK. + + + The play, "Yorick's Love," mentioned in this letter, was one which + Howells had done for Lawrence Barrett. + + Onion Clemens, meantime, was forwarding his manuscript, and for once + seems to have won his brother's approval, so much so that Mark Twain + was willing, indeed anxious, that Howells should run the + "autobiography" in the Atlantic. We may imagine how Onion prized + the words of commendation which follow: + + + To Orion Clemens: + + May 6, '80. +MY DEAR BROTHER,--It is a model autobiography. + +Continue to develop your character in the same gradual inconspicuous and +apparently unconscious way. The reader, up to this time, may have his +doubts, perhaps, but he can't say decidedly, "This writer is not such a +simpleton as he has been letting on to be." Keep him in that state of +mind. If, when you shall have finished, the reader shall say, "The man +is an ass, but I really don't know whether he knows it or not," your work +will be a triumph. + +Stop re-writing. I saw places in your last batch where re-writing had +done formidable injury. Do not try to find those places, else you will +mar them further by trying to better them. It is perilous to revise a +book while it is under way. All of us have injured our books in that +foolish way. + +Keep in mind what I told you--when you recollect something which belonged +in an earlier chapter, do not go back, but jam it in where you are. +Discursiveness does not hurt an autobiography in the least. + +I have penciled the MS here and there, but have not needed to make any +criticisms or to knock out anything. + +The elder Bliss has heart disease badly, and thenceforth his life hangs +upon a thread. + Yr Bro + SAM. + + + But Howells could not bring himself to print so frank a confession + as Orion had been willing to make. "It wrung my heart," he said, + "and I felt haggard after I had finished it. The writer's soul is + laid bare; it is shocking." Howells added that the best touches in + it were those which made one acquainted with the writer's brother; + that is to say, Mark Twain, and that these would prove valuable + material hereafter--a true prophecy, for Mark Twain's early + biography would have lacked most of its vital incident, and at least + half of its background, without those faithful chapters, fortunately + preserved. Had Onion continued, as he began, the work might have + proved an important contribution to literature, but he went trailing + off into by-paths of theology and discussion where the interest was + lost. There were, perhaps, as many as two thousand pages of it, + which few could undertake to read. + + Mark Twain's mind was always busy with plans and inventions, many of + them of serious intent, some semi-serious, others of a purely + whimsical character. Once he proposed a "Modest Club," of which the + first and main qualification for membership was modesty. "At + present," he wrote, "I am the only member; and as the modesty + required must be of a quite aggravated type, the enterprise did seem + for a time doomed to stop dead still with myself, for lack of + further material; but upon reflection I have come to the conclusion + that you are eligible. Therefore, I have held a meeting and voted + to offer you the distinction of membership. I do not know that we + can find any others, though I have had some thought of Hay, Warner, + Twichell, Aldrich, Osgood, Fields, Higginson, and a few more-- + together with Mrs. Howells, Mrs. Clemens, and certain others of the + sex." + + Howells replied that the only reason he had for not joining the + Modest Club was that he was too modest--too modest to confess his + modesty. "If I could get over this difficulty I should like to + join, for I approve highly of the Club and its object.... It ought + to be given an annual dinner at the public expense. If you think I + am not too modest you may put my name down and I will try to think + the same of you. Mrs. Howells applauded the notion of the club from + the very first. She said that she knew one thing: that she was + modest enough, anyway. Her manner of saying it implied that the + other persons you had named were not, and created a painful + impression in my mind. I have sent your letter and the rules to + Hay, but I doubt his modesty. He will think he has a right to + belong to it as much as you or I; whereas, other people ought only + to be admitted on sufferance." + + Our next letter to Howells is, in the main, pure foolery, but we get + in it a hint what was to become in time one of Mask Twain's + strongest interests, the matter of copyright. He had both a + personal and general interest in the subject. His own books were + constantly pirated in Canada, and the rights of foreign authors were + not respected in America. We have already seen how he had drawn a + petition which Holmes, Lowell, Longfellow, and others were to sign, + and while nothing had come of this plan he had never ceased to + formulate others. Yet he hesitated when he found that the proposed + protection was likely to work a hardship to readers of the poorer + class. Once he wrote: "My notions have mightily changed lately.... + I can buy a lot of the copyright classics, in paper, at from three + to thirty cents apiece. These things must find their way into the + very kitchens and hovels of the country..... And even if the treaty + will kill Canadian piracy, and thus save me an average of $5,000 a + year, I am down on it anyway, and I'd like cussed well to write an + article opposing the treaty." + + + To W. D. Howells, in Belmont, Mass.: + + Thursday, June 6th, 1880. +MY DEAR HOWELLS,--There you stick, at Belmont, and now I'm going to +Washington for a few days; and of course, between you and Providence that +visit is going to get mixed, and you'll have been here and gone again +just about the time I get back. Bother it all, I wanted to astonish you +with a chapter or two from Orion's latest book--not the seventeen which +he has begun in the last four months, but the one which he began last +week. + +Last night, when I went to bed, Mrs. Clemens said, "George didn't take +the cat down to the cellar--Rosa says he has left it shut up in the +conservatory." So I went down to attend to Abner (the cat.) About 3 in +the morning Mrs. C. woke me and said, "I do believe I hear that cat in +the drawing-room--what did you do with him?" I answered up with the +confidence of a man who has managed to do the right thing for once, and +said "I opened the conservatory doors, took the library off the alarm, +and spread everything open, so that there wasn't any obstruction between +him and the cellar." Language wasn't capable of conveying this woman's +disgust. But the sense of what she said, was, "He couldn't have done any +harm in the conservatory--so you must go and make the entire house free +to him and the burglars, imagining that he will prefer the coal-bins to +the drawing-room. If you had had Mr. Howells to help you, I should have +admired but not been astonished, because I should know that together you +would be equal to it; but how you managed to contrive such a stately +blunder all by yourself, is what I cannot understand." + +So, you see, even she knows how to appreciate our gifts. + +Brisk times here.--Saturday, these things happened: Our neighbor Chas. +Smith was stricken with heart disease, and came near joining the +majority; my publisher, Bliss, ditto, ditto; a neighbor's child died; +neighbor Whitmore's sixth child added to his five other cases of measles; +neighbor Niles sent for, and responded; Susie Warner down, abed; Mrs. +George Warner threatened with death during several hours; her son Frank, +whilst imitating the marvels in Barnum's circus bills, thrown from his +aged horse and brought home insensible: Warner's friend Max Yortzburgh, +shot in the back by a locomotive and broken into 32 distinct pieces and +his life threatened; and Mrs. Clemens, after writing all these cheerful +things to Clara Spaulding, taken at midnight, and if the doctor had not +been pretty prompt the contemplated Clemens would have called before his +apartments were ready. + +However, everybody is all right, now, except Yortzburg, and he is +mending--that is, he is being mended. I knocked off, during these +stirring times, and don't intend to go to work again till we go away for +the Summer, 3 or 6 weeks hence. So I am writing to you not because I +have anything to say, but because you don't have to answer and I need +something to do this afternoon..... + +I have a letter from a Congressman this morning, and he says Congress +couldn't be persuaded to bother about Canadian pirates at a time like +this when all legislation must have a political and Presidential bearing, +else Congress won't look at it. So have changed my mind and my course; +I go north, to kill a pirate. I must procure repose some way, else I +cannot get down to work again. + +Pray offer my most sincere and respectful approval to the President--is +approval the proper word? I find it is the one I most value here in the +household and seldomest get. + +With our affection to you both. + Yrs ever + MARK. + + + It was always dangerous to send strangers with letters of + introduction to Mark Twain. They were so apt to arrive at the wrong + time, or to find him in the wrong mood. Howells was willing to risk + it, and that the result was only amusing instead of tragic is the + best proof of their friendship. + + + To W. D. Howells, in Belmont, Mass.: + + June 9, '80. +Well, old practical joker, the corpse of Mr. X---- has been here, and I +have bedded it and fed it, and put down my work during 24 hours and tried +my level best to make it do something, or say something, or appreciate +something--but no, it was worse than Lazarus. A kind-hearted, well- +meaning corpse was the Boston young man, but lawsy bless me, horribly +dull company. Now, old man, unless you have great confidence in Mr. X's +judgment, you ought to make him submit his article to you before he +prints it. For only think how true I was to you: Every hour that he was +here I was saying, gloatingly, "O G-- d--- you, when you are in bed and +your light out, I will fix you" (meaning to kill him)...., but then the +thought would follow--" No, Howells sent him--he shall be spared, he +shall be respected he shall travel hell-wards by his own route." + +Breakfast is frozen by this time, and Mrs. Clemens correspondingly hot. +Good bye. + Yrs ever, + MARK. + + + "I did not expect you to ask that man to live with you," Howells + answered. "What I was afraid of was that you would turn him out of + doors, on sight, and so I tried to put in a good word for him. + After this when I want you to board people, I'll ask you. I am + sorry for your suffering. I suppose I have mostly lost my smell for + bores; but yours is preternaturally keen. I shall begin to be + afraid I bore you. (How does that make you feel?)" + + In a letter to Twichell--a remarkable letter--when baby Jean Clemens + was about a month old, we get a happy hint of conditions at Quarry + Farm, and in the background a glimpse of Mark Twain's unfailing + tragic reflection. + + + To Rev. Twichell, in Hartford: + + QUARRY FARM, Aug. 29 ['80]. +DEAR OLD JOE,--Concerning Jean Clemens, if anybody said he "didn't see no +pints about that frog that's any better'n any other frog," I should think +he was convicting himself of being a pretty poor sort of observer.... +I will not go into details; it is not necessary; you will soon be in +Hartford, where I have already hired a hall; the admission fee will be +but a trifle. + +It is curious to note the change in the stock-quotation of the Affection +Board brought about by throwing this new security on the market. Four +weeks ago the children still put Mamma at the head of the list right +along, where she had always been. But now: + + Jean + Mamma + Motley [a cat] + Fraulein [another] + Papa + +That is the way it stands, now Mamma is become No. 2; I have dropped from +No. 4., and am become No. 5. Some time ago it used to be nip and tuck +between me and the cats, but after the cats "developed" I didn't stand +any more show. + +I've got a swollen ear; so I take advantage of it to lie abed most of the +day, and read and smoke and scribble and have a good time. Last evening +Livy said with deep concern, "O dear, I believe an abscess is forming in +your ear." + +I responded as the poet would have done if he had had a cold in the +head-- + + "Tis said that abscess conquers love, + But O believe it not." + +This made a coolness. + +Been reading Daniel Webster's Private Correspondence. Have read a +hundred of his diffuse, conceited, "eloquent," bathotic (or bathostic) +letters written in that dim (no, vanished) Past when he was a student; +and Lord, to think that this boy who is so real to me now, and so booming +with fresh young blood and bountiful life, and sappy cynicisms about +girls, has since climbed the Alps of fame and stood against the sun one +brief tremendous moment with the world's eyes upon him, and then--f-z-t-! +where is he? Why the only long thing, the only real thing about the +whole shadowy business is the sense of the lagging dull and hoary lapse +of time that has drifted by since then; a vast empty level, it seems, +with a formless spectre glimpsed fitfully through the smoke and mist that +lie along its remote verge. + +Well, we are all getting along here first-rate; Livy gains strength +daily, and sits up a deal; the baby is five weeks old and--but no more of +this; somebody may be reading this letter 80 years hence. And so, my +friend (you pitying snob, I mean, who are holding this yellow paper in +your hand in 1960,) save yourself the trouble of looking further; I know +how pathetically trivial our small concerns will seem to you, and I will +not let your eye profane them. No, I keep my news; you keep your +compassion. Suffice it you to know, scoffer and ribald, that the little +child is old and blind, now, and once more toothless; and the rest of us +are shadows, these many, many years. Yes, and your time cometh! + + MARK. + + + At the Farm that year Mark Twain was working on The Prince and the + Pauper, and, according to a letter to Aldrich, brought it to an end + September 19th. It is a pleasant letter, worth preserving. The + book by Aldrich here mentioned was 'The Stillwater Tragedy.' + + + To T. B. Aldrich, in Ponkapog, Mass.: + + ELMIRA, Sept. 15, '80. +MY DEAR ALDRICH,--Thank you ever so much for the book--I had already +finished it, and prodigiously enjoyed it, in the periodical of the +notorious Howells, but it hits Mrs. Clemens just right, for she is having +a reading holiday, now, for the first time in same months; so between- +times, when the new baby is asleep and strengthening up for another +attempt to take possession of this place, she is going to read it. +Her strong friendship for you makes her think she is going to like it. + +I finished a story yesterday, myself. I counted up and found it between +sixty and eighty thousand words--about the size of your book. It is for +boys and girls--been at work at it several years, off and on. + +I hope Howells is enjoying his journey to the Pacific. He wrote me that +you and Osgood were going, also, but I doubted it, believing he was in +liquor when he wrote it. In my opinion, this universal applause over his +book is going to land that man in a Retreat inside of two months. +I notice the papers say mighty fine things about your book, too. +You ought to try to get into the same establishment with Howells. +But applause does not affect me--I am always calm--this is because I am +used to it. + +Well, good-bye, my boy, and good luck to you. Mrs. Clemens asks me to +send her warmest regards to you and Mrs. Aldrich--which I do, and add +those of + Yrs ever + MARK. + + + While Mark Twain was a journalist in San Francisco, there was a + middle-aged man named Soule, who had a desk near him on the Morning + Call. Soule was in those days highly considered as a poet by his + associates, most of whom were younger and less gracefully poetic. + But Soule's gift had never been an important one. Now, in his old + age, he found his fame still local, and he yearned for wider + recognition. He wished to have a volume of poems issued by a + publisher of recognized standing. Because Mark Twain had been one + of Soule's admirers and a warm friend in the old days, it was + natural that Soule should turn to him now, and equally natural that + Clemens should turn to Howells. + + + To W. D. Howells, in Boston: + + Sunday, Oct. 2 '80. +MY DEAR HOWELLS,--Here's a letter which I wrote you to San Francisco the +second time you didn't go there.... I told Soule he needn't write you, +but simply send the MS. to you. O dear, dear, it is dreadful to be an +unrecognized poet. How wise it was in Charles Warren Stoddard to take in +his sign and go for some other calling while still young. + +I'm laying for that Encyclopedical Scotchman--and he'll need to lock the +door behind him, when he comes in; otherwise when he hears my proposed +tariff his skin will probably crawl away with him. He is accustomed to +seeing the publisher impoverish the author--that spectacle must be +getting stale to him--if he contracts with the undersigned he will +experience a change in that programme that will make the enamel peel off +his teeth for very surprise--and joy. No, that last is what Mrs. Clemens +thinks--but it's not so. The proposed work is growing, mightily, in my +estimation, day by day; and I'm not going to throw it away for any mere +trifle. If I make a contract with the canny Scot, I will then tell him +the plan which you and I have devised (that of taking in the humor of all +countries)--otherwise I'll keep it to myself, I think. Why should we +assist our fellowman for mere love of God? + Yrs ever + MARK. + + One wishes that Howells might have found value enough in the verses + of Frank Soule to recommend them to Osgood. To Clemens he wrote: + "You have touched me in regard to him, and I will deal gently with + his poetry. Poor old fellow! I can imagine him, and how he must + have to struggle not to be hard or sour." + + The verdict, however, was inevitable. Soule's graceful verses + proved to be not poetry at all. No publisher of standing could + afford to give them his imprint. + + The "Encyclopedical Scotchman" mentioned in the preceding letter was + the publisher Gebbie, who had a plan to engage Howells and Clemens + to prepare some sort of anthology of the world's literature. The + idea came to nothing, though the other plan mentioned--for a library + of humor--in time grew into a book. + + Mark Twain's contracts with Bliss for the publication of his books + on the subscription plan had been made on a royalty basis, beginning + with 5 per cent. on 'The Innocents Abroad' increasing to 7 « per + cent. on 'Roughing It,' and to 10 per cent. on later books. Bliss + had held that these later percentages fairly represented one half + the profits. Clemens, however, had never been fully satisfied, and + his brother Onion had more than once urged him to demand a specific + contract on the half-profit basis. The agreement for the + publication of 'A Tramp Abroad' was made on these terms. Bliss died + before Clemens received his first statement of sales. Whatever may + have been the facts under earlier conditions, the statement proved + to Mark Twain's satisfaction; at least, that the half-profit + arrangement was to his advantage. It produced another result; it + gave Samuel Clemens an excuse to place his brother Onion in a + position of independence. + + + To Onion Clemens, in Keokuk, Iowa: + + Sunday, Oct 24 '80. +MY DEAR BRO.,--Bliss is dead. The aspect of the balance-sheet is +enlightening. It reveals the fact, through my present contract, (which +is for half the profits on the book above actual cost of paper, printing +and binding,) that I have lost considerably by all this nonsense--sixty +thousand dollars, I should say--and if Bliss were alive I would stay with +the concern and get it all back; for on each new book I would require a +portion of that back pay; but as it is (this in the very strictest +confidence,) I shall probably go to a new publisher 6 or 8 months hence, +for I am afraid Frank, with his poor health, will lack push and drive. + +Out of the suspicions you bred in me years ago, has grown this result, +--to wit, that I shall within the twelvemonth get $40,000 out of this +"Tramp" instead Of $20,000. Twenty thousand dollars, after taxes and +other expenses are stripped away, is worth to the investor about $75 a +month--so I shall tell Mr. Perkins to make your check that amount per +month, hereafter, while our income is able to afford it. This ends the +loan business; and hereafter you can reflect that you are living not on +borrowed money but on money which you have squarely earned, and which has +no taint or savor of charity about it--and you can also reflect that the +money you have been receiving of me all these years is interest charged +against the heavy bill which the next publisher will have to stand who +gets a book of mine. + +Jean got the stockings and is much obliged; Mollie wants to know whom she +most resembles, but I can't tell; she has blue eyes and brown hair, and +three chins, and is very fat and happy; and at one time or another she +has resembled all the different Clemenses and Langdons, in turn, that +have ever lived. + +Livy is too much beaten out with the baby, nights, to write, these times; +and I don't know of anything urgent to say, except that a basket full of +letters has accumulated in the 7 days that I have been whooping and +cursing over a cold in the head--and I must attack the pile this very +minute. + With love from us + Y aff + SAM +$25 enclosed. + + + + On the completion of The Prince and Pauper story, Clemens had + naturally sent it to Howells for consideration. Howells wrote: + "I have read the two P's and I like it immensely, it begins well and + it ends well." He pointed out some things that might be changed or + omitted, and added: "It is such a book as I would expect from you, + knowing what a bottom of fury there is to your fun." Clemens had + thought somewhat of publishing the story anonymously, in the fear + that it would not be accepted seriously over his own signature. + + The "bull story" referred to in the next letter is the one later + used in the Joan of Arc book, the story told Joan by "Uncle Laxart," + how he rode a bull to a funeral. + + + To W. D. Howells, in Boston: + + Xmas Eve, 1880. +MY DEAR HOWELLS,--I was prodigiously delighted with what you said about +the book--so, on the whole, I've concluded to publish intrepidly, instead +of concealing the authorship. I shall leave out that bull story. + +I wish you had gone to New York. The company was small, and we had a +first-rate time. Smith's an enjoyable fellow. I liked Barrett, too. +And the oysters were as good as the rest of the company. It was worth +going there to learn how to cook them. + +Next day I attended to business--which was, to introduce Twichell to Gen. +Grant and procure a private talk in the interest of the Chinese +Educational Mission here in the U. S. Well, it was very funny. Joe had +been sitting up nights building facts and arguments together into a +mighty and unassailable array and had studied them out and got them by +heart--all with the trembling half-hearted hope of getting Grant to add +his signature to a sort of petition to the Viceroy of China; but Grant +took in the whole situation in a jiffy, and before Joe had more than +fairly got started, the old man said: "I'll write the Viceroy a Letter +--a separate letter--and bring strong reasons to bear upon him; I know +him well, and what I say will have weight with him; I will attend to it +right away. No, no thanks--I shall be glad to do it--it will be a labor +of love." + +So all Joe's laborious hours were for naught! It was as if he had come +to borrow a dollar, and been offered a thousand before he could unfold +his case.... + +But it's getting dark. Merry Christmas to all of you. + Yrs Ever, + MARK. + + + The Chinese Educational Mission, mentioned in the foregoing, was a + thriving Hartford institution, projected eight years before by a + Yale graduate named Yung Wing. The mission was now threatened, and + Yung Wing, knowing the high honor in which General Grant was held in + China, believed that through him it might be saved. Twichell, of + course, was deeply concerned and naturally overjoyed at Grant's + interest. A day or two following the return to Hartford, Clemens + received a letter from General Grant, in which he wrote: "Li Hung + Chang is the most powerful and most influential Chinaman in his + country. He professed great friendship for me when I was there, and + I have had assurances of the same thing since. I hope, if he is + strong enough with his government, that the decision to withdraw the + Chinese students from this country may be changed." + + But perhaps Li Hung Chang was experiencing one of his partial + eclipses just then, or possibly he was not interested, for the + Hartford Mission did not survive. + + + + +XXI. + +LETTERS 1881, TO HOWELLS AND OTHERS. ASSISTING A YOUNG SCULPTOR. +LITERARY PLANS + +With all of Mark Twain's admiration for Grant, he had opposed him as a +third-term President and approved of the nomination of Garfield. He had +made speeches for Garfield during the campaign just ended, and had been +otherwise active in his support. Upon Garfield's election, however, he +felt himself entitled to no special favor, and the single request which +he preferred at length could hardly be classed as, personal, though made +for a "personal friend." + + + To President-elect James A. Garfield, in Washington: + + HARTFORD, Jany. 12, '81. +GEN. GARFIELD + +DEAR SIR,--Several times since your election persons wanting office have +asked me "to use my influence" with you in their behalf. + +To word it in that way was such a pleasant compliment to me that I never +complied. I could not without exposing the fact that I hadn't any +influence with you and that was a thing I had no mind to do. + +It seems to me that it is better to have a good man's flattering estimate +of my influence--and to keep it--than to fool it away with trying to get +him an office. But when my brother--on my wife's side--Mr. Charles J. +Langdon--late of the Chicago Convention--desires me to speak a word for +Mr. Fred Douglass, I am not asked "to use my influence" consequently I am +not risking anything. So I am writing this as a simple citizen. I am +not drawing on my fund of influence at all. A simple citizen may express +a desire with all propriety, in the matter of a recommendation to office, +and so I beg permission to hope that you will retain Mr. Douglass in his +present office of Marshall of the District of Columbia, if such a course +will not clash with your own preferences or with the expediencies and +interest of your administration. I offer this petition with peculiar +pleasure and strong desire, because I so honor this man's high and +blemishless character and so admire his brave, long crusade for the +liberties and elevation of his race. + +He is a personal friend of mine, but that is nothing to the point, his +history would move me to say these things without that, and I feel them +too. + With great respect + I am, General, + Yours truly, + S. L. CLEMENS. + + + Clemens would go out of his way any time to grant favor to the + colored race. His childhood associations were partly accountable + for this, but he also felt that the white man owed the negro a debt + for generations of enforced bondage. He would lecture any time in a + colored church, when he would as likely as not refuse point-blank to + speak for a white congregation. Once, in Elmira, he received a + request, poorly and none too politely phrased, to speak for one of + the churches. He was annoyed and about to send a brief refusal, + when Mrs. Clemens, who was present, said: + + "I think I know that church, and if so this preacher is a colored + man; he does not know how to write a polished letter--how should + he?" Her husband's manner changed so suddenly that she added: + "I will give you a motto, and it will be useful to you if you will + adopt it: Consider every man colored until he is proved white." + + + To W. D. Howells, in Boston: + + HARTFORD, Feb. 27, 1881. +MY DEAR HOWELLS,--I go to West Point with Twichell tomorrow, but shall be +back Tuesday or Wednesday; and then just as soon thereafter as you and +Mrs. Howells and Winny can come you will find us ready and most glad to +see you--and the longer you can stay the gladder we shall be. I am not +going to have a thing to do, but you shall work if you want to. On the +evening of March 10th, I am going to read to the colored folk in the +African Church here (no whites admitted except such as I bring with me), +and a choir of colored folk will sing jubilee songs. I count on a good +time, and shall hope to have you folks there, and Livy. I read in +Twichell's chapel Friday night and had a most rattling high time--but the +thing that went best of all was Uncle Remus's Tar Baby. I mean to try +that on my dusky audience. They've all heard that tale from childhood-- +at least the older members have. + +I arrived home in time to make a most noble blunder--invited Charley +Warner here (in Livy's name) to dinner with the Gerhardts, and told him +Livy had invited his wife by letter and by word of mouth also. I don't +know where I got these impressions, but I came home feeling as one does +who realizes that he has done a neat thing for once and left no flaws or +loop-holes. Well, Livy said she had never told me to invite Charley and +she hadn't dreamed of inviting Susy, and moreover there wasn't any +dinner, but just one lean duck. But Susy Warner's intuitions were +correct--so she choked off Charley, and staid home herself--we waited +dinner an hour and you ought to have seen that duck when he was done +drying in the oven. + MARK. + + + Clemens and his wife were always privately assisting worthy and + ambitious young people along the way of achievement. Young actors + were helped through dramatic schools; young men and women were + assisted through college and to travel abroad. Among others Clemens + paid the way of two colored students, one through a Southern + institution and another through the Yale law school. + + The mention of the name of Gerhardt in the preceding letter + introduces the most important, or at least the most extensive, of + these benefactions. The following letter gives the beginning of the + story: + + + To W. D. Howells, in Boston: + +Private and Confidential. + HARTFORD, Feb. 21, 1881. +MY DEAR HOWELLS,--Well, here is our romance. + +It happened in this way. One morning, a month ago--no, three weeks-- +Livy, and Clara Spaulding and I were at breakfast, at 10 A.M., and I was +in an irritable mood, for the barber was up stairs waiting and his hot +water getting cold, when the colored George returned from answering the +bell and said: "There's a lady in the drawing-room wants to see you." +"A book agent!" says I, with heat. "I won't see her; I will die in my +tracks, first." + +Then I got up with a soul full of rage, and went in there and bent +scowling over that person, and began a succession of rude and raspy +questions--and without even offering to sit down. + +Not even the defendant's youth and beauty and (seeming) timidity were +able to modify my savagery, for a time--and meantime question and answer +were going on. She had risen to her feet with the first question; and +there she stood, with her pretty face bent floorward whilst I inquired, +but always with her honest eyes looking me in the face when it came her +turn to answer. + +And this was her tale, and her plea-diffidently stated, but straight- +forwardly; and bravely, and most winningly simply and earnestly: I put it +in my own fashion, for I do not remember her words: + +Mr. Karl Gerhardt, who works in Pratt & Whitney's machine shops, has made +a statue in clay, and would I be so kind as to come and look at it, and +tell him if there is any promise in it? He has none to go to, and he +would be so glad. + +"O, dear me," I said, "I don't know anything about art--there's nothing I +could tell him." + +But she went on, just as earnestly and as simply as before, with her +plea--and so she did after repeated rebuffs; and dull as I am, even I +began by and by to admire this brave and gentle persistence, and to +perceive how her heart of hearts was in this thing, and how she couldn't +give it up, but must carry her point. So at last I wavered, and promised +in general terms that I would come down the first day that fell idle--and +as I conducted her to the door, I tamed more and more, and said I would +come during the very next week--"We shall be so glad--but--but, would you +please come early in the week?--the statue is just finished and we are so +anxious--and--and--we did hope you could come this week--and"--well, I +came down another peg, and said I would come Monday, as sure as death; +and before I got to the dining room remorse was doing its work and I was +saying to myself, "Damnation, how can a man be such a hound? why didn't I +go with her now?" Yes, and how mean I should have felt if I had known +that out of her poverty she had hired a hack and brought it along to +convey me. But luckily for what was left of my peace of mind, I didn't +know that. + +Well, it appears that from here she went to Charley Warner's. There was +a better light, there, and the eloquence of her face had a better chance +to do its office. Warner fought, as I had done; and he was in the midst +of an article and very busy; but no matter, she won him completely. He +laid aside his MS and said, "Come, let us go and see your father's +statue. That is--is he your father?" "No, he is my husband." So this +child was married, you see. + +This was a Saturday. Next day Warner came to dinner and said "Go!--go +tomorrow--don't fail." He was in love with the girl, and with her +husband too, and said he believed there was merit in the statue. Pretty +crude work, maybe, but merit in it. + +Patrick and I hunted up the place, next day; the girl saw us driving up, +and flew down the stairs and received me. Her quarters were the second +story of a little wooden house--another family on the ground floor. The +husband was at the machine shop, the wife kept no servant, she was there +alone. She had a little parlor, with a chair or two and a sofa; and the +artist-husband's hand was visible in a couple of plaster busts, one of +the wife, and another of a neighbor's child; visible also in a couple of +water colors of flowers and birds; an ambitious unfinished portrait of +his wife in oils: some paint decorations on the pine mantel; and an +excellent human ear, done in some plastic material at 16. + +Then we went into the kitchen, and the girl flew around, with enthusiasm, +and snatched rag after rag from a tall something in the corner, and +presently there stood the clay statue, life size--a graceful girlish +creature, nude to the waist, and holding up a single garment with one +hand the expression attempted being a modified scare--she was interrupted +when about to enter the bath. + +Then this young wife posed herself alongside the image and so remained +--a thing I didn't understand. But presently I did--then I said: + +"O, it's you!" + +"Yes," she said, "I was the model. He has no model but me. I have stood +for this many and many an hour--and you can't think how it does tire one! +But I don't mind it. He works all day at the shop; and then, nights and +Sundays he works on his statue as long as I can keep up." + +She got a big chisel, to use as a lever, and between us we managed to +twist the pedestal round and round, so as to afford a view of the statue +from all points. Well, sir, it was perfectly charming, this girl's +innocence and purity---exhibiting her naked self, as it were, to a +stranger and alone, and never once dreaming that there was the slightest +indelicacy about the matter. And so there wasn't; but it will be many +along day before I run across another woman who can do the like and show +no trace of self-consciousness. + +Well, then we sat down, and I took a smoke, and she told me all about her +people in Massachusetts--her father is a physician and it is an old and +respectable family--(I am able to believe anything she says.) And she +told me how "Karl" is 26 years old; and how he has had passionate +longings all his life toward art, but has always been poor and obliged to +struggle for his daily bread; and how he felt sure that if he could only +have one or two lessons in-- + +"Lessons? Hasn't he had any lessons?" + +No. He had never had a lesson. + +And presently it was dinner time and "Karl" arrived--a slender young +fellow with a marvelous head and a noble eye--and he was as simple and +natural, and as beautiful in spirit as his wife was. But she had to do +the talking--mainly--there was too much thought behind his cavernous eyes +for glib speech. + +I went home enchanted. Told Livy and Clara Spaulding all about the +paradise down yonder where those two enthusiasts are happy with a yearly +expense of $350. Livy and Clara went there next day and came away +enchanted. A few nights later the Gerhardts kept their promise and came +here for the evening. It was billiard night and I had company and so was +not down; but Livy and Clara became more charmed with these children than +ever. + +Warner and I planned to get somebody to criticise the statue whose +judgment would be worth something. So I laid for Champney, and after two +failures I captured him and took him around, and he said "this statue is +full of faults--but it has merits enough in it to make up for them"-- +whereat the young wife danced around as delighted as a child. When we +came away, Champney said, "I did not want to say too much there, but the +truth is, it seems to me an extraordinary performance for an untrained +hand. You ask if there is promise enough there to justify the Hartford +folk in going to an expense of training this young man. I should say, +yes, decidedly; but still, to make everything safe, you had better get +the judgment of a sculptor." + +Warner was in New York. I wrote him, and he said he would fetch up Ward +--which he did. Yesterday they went to the Gerhardts and spent two +hours, and Ward came away bewitched with those people and marveling at +the winning innocence of the young wife, who dropped naturally into +model-attitude beside the statue (which is stark naked from head to heel, +now--G. had removed the drapery, fearing Ward would think he was afraid +to try legs and hips) just as she has always done before. + +Livy and I had two long talks with Ward yesterday evening. He spoke +strongly. He said, "if any stranger had told me that this apprentice did +not model that thing from plaster casts, I would not have believed it." +He said "it is full of crudities, but it is full of genius, too. It is +such a statue as the man of average talent would achieve after two years +training in the schools. And the boldness of the fellow, in going +straight to nature! He is an apprentice--his work shows that, all over; +but the stuff is in him, sure. Hartford must send him to Paris--two +years; then if the promise holds good, keep him there three more--and +warn him to study, study, work, work, and keep his name out of the +papers, and neither ask for orders nor accept them when offered." + +Well, you see, that's all we wanted. After Ward was gone Livy came out +with the thing that was in her mind. She said, "Go privately and start +the Gerhardts off to Paris, and say nothing about it to any one else." + +So I tramped down this morning in the snow-storm--and there was a +stirring time. They will sail a week or ten days from now. + +As I was starting out at the front door, with Gerhardt beside me and the +young wife dancing and jubilating behind, this latter cried out +impulsively, "Tell Mrs. Clemens I want to hug her--I want to hug you +both!" + +I gave them my old French book and they were going to tackle the +language, straight off. + +Now this letter is a secret--keep it quiet--I don't think Livy would mind +my telling you these things, but then she might, you know, for she is a +queer girl. + Yrs ever, + MARK. + + + Champney was J. Wells Champney, a portrait-painter of distinction; + Ward was the sculptor, J. Q. A. Ward. + + The Gerhardts were presently off to Paris, well provided with means + to make their dreams reality; in due time the letters will report + them again. + + The Uncle Remus tales of Joel Chandler Harris gave Mark Twain great + pleasure. He frequently read them aloud, not only at home but in + public. Finally, he wrote Harris, expressing his warm appreciation, + and mentioning one of the negro stories of his own childhood, "The + Golden Arm," which he urged Harris to look up and add to his + collection. + + "You have pinned a proud feather in Uncle-Remus's cap," replied + Harris. "I do not know what higher honor he could have than to + appear before the Hartford public arm in arm with Mark Twain." + + He disclaimed any originality for the stories, adding, "I understand + that my relations toward Uncle Remus are similar to those that exist + between an almanac maker and the calendar." He had not heard the + "Golden Arm" story and asked for the outlines; also for some + publishing advice, out of Mark Twain's long experience. + + + To Joel Chandler Harris, in Atlanta: + + ELMIRA, N.Y., Aug. 10. +MY DEAR MR. HARRIS,--You can argue yourself into the delusion that the +principle of life is in the stories themselves and not in their setting; +but you will save labor by stopping with that solitary convert, for he is +the only intelligent one you will bag. In reality the stories are only +alligator pears--one merely eats them for the sake of the salad-dressing. +Uncle Remus is most deftly drawn, and is a lovable and delightful +creation; he, and the little boy, and their relations with each other, +are high and fine literature, and worthy to live, for their own sakes; +and certainly the stories are not to be credited with them. But enough +of this; I seem to be proving to the man that made the multiplication +table that twice one are two. + +I have been thinking, yesterday and to-day (plenty of chance to think, as +I am abed with lumbago at our little summering farm among the solitudes +of the Mountaintops,) and I have concluded that I can answer one of your +questions with full confidence--thus: Make it a subscription book. +Mighty few books that come strictly under the head of literature will +sell by subscription; but if Uncle Remus won't, the gift of prophecy has +departed out of me. When a book will sell by subscription, it will sell +two or three times as many copies as it would in the trade; and the +profit is bulkier because the retail price is greater..... + +You didn't ask me for a subscription-publisher. If you had, I should +have recommended Osgood to you. He inaugurates his subscription +department with my new book in the fall..... + +Now the doctor has been here and tried to interrupt my yarn about "The +Golden Arm," but I've got through, anyway. + +Of course I tell it in the negro dialect--that is necessary; but I have +not written it so, for I can't spell it in your matchless way. It is +marvelous the way you and Cable spell the negro and creole dialects. + +Two grand features are lost in print: the weird wailing, the rising and +falling cadences of the wind, so easily mimicked with one's mouth; and +the impressive pauses and eloquent silences, and subdued utterances, +toward the end of the yarn (which chain the attention of the children +hand and foot, and they sit with parted lips and breathless, to be +wrenched limb from limb with the sudden and appalling "You got it"). + +Old Uncle Dan'l, a slave of my uncle's' aged 60, used to tell us children +yarns every night by the kitchen fire (no other light;) and the last yarn +demanded, every night, was this one. By this time there was but a +ghastly blaze or two flickering about the back-log. We would huddle +close about the old man, and begin to shudder with the first familiar +words; and under the spell of his impressive delivery we always fell a +prey to that climax at the end when the rigid black shape in the twilight +sprang at us with a shout. + +When you come to glance at the tale you will recollect it--it is as +common and familiar as the Tar Baby. Work up the atmosphere with your +customary skill and it will "go" in print. + +Lumbago seems to make a body garrulous--but you'll forgive it. + Truly yours + S. L. CLEMENS + + + The "Golden Arm" story was one that Clemens often used in his public + readings, and was very effective as he gave it. + + In his sketch, "How to Tell a Story," it appears about as he used to + tell it. Harris, receiving the outlines of the old Missouri tale, + presently announced that he had dug up its Georgia relative, an + interesting variant, as we gather from Mark Twain's reply. + + + To Joel Chandler Harris, in Atlanta: + + HARTFORD, '81. +MY DEAR MR. HARRIS,--I was very sure you would run across that Story +somewhere, and am glad you have. A Drummond light--no, I mean a Brush +light--is thrown upon the negro estimate of values by his willingness to +risk his soul and his mighty peace forever for the sake of a silver +sev'm-punce. And this form of the story seems rather nearer the true +field-hand standard than that achieved by my Florida, Mo., negroes with +their sumptuous arm of solid gold. + +I judge you haven't received my new book yet--however, you will in a day +or two. Meantime you must not take it ill if I drop Osgood a hint about +your proposed story of slave life..... + +When you come north I wish you would drop me a line and then follow it in +person and give me a day or two at our house in Hartford. If you will, +I will snatch Osgood down from Boston, and you won't have to go there at +all unless you want to. Please to bear this strictly in mind, and don't +forget it. + Sincerely yours + S. L. CLEMENS. + + + Charles Warren Stoddard, to whom the next letter is written, was one + of the old California literary crowd, a graceful writer of verse and + prose, never quite arriving at the success believed by his friends + to be his due. He was a gentle, irresponsible soul, well loved by + all who knew him, and always, by one or another, provided against + want. The reader may remember that during Mark Twain's great + lecture engagement in London, winter of 1873-74, Stoddard lived with + him, acting as his secretary. At a later period in his life he + lived for several years with the great telephone magnate, Theodore + N. Vail. At the time of this letter, Stoddard had decided that in + the warm light and comfort of the Sandwich Islands he could survive + on his literary earnings. + + + To Charles Warren Stoddard, in the Sandwich Islands: + + HARTFORD, Oct. 26 '81. +MY DEAR CHARLIE,--Now what have I ever done to you that you should not +only slide off to Heaven before you have earned a right to go, but must +add the gratuitous villainy of informing me of it?..... + +The house is full of carpenters and decorators; whereas, what we really +need here, is an incendiary. If the house would only burn down, we would +pack up the cubs and fly to the isles of the blest, and shut ourselves up +in the healing solitudes of the crater of Haleakala and get a good rest; +for the mails do not intrude there, nor yet the telephone and the +telegraph. And after resting, we would come down the mountain a piece +and board with a godly, breech-clouted native, and eat poi and dirt and +give thanks to whom all thanks belong, for these privileges, and never +house-keep any more. + +I think my wife would be twice as strong as she is, but for this wearing +and wearying slavery of house-keeping. However, she thinks she must +submit to it for the sake of the children; whereas, I have always had a +tenderness for parents too, so, for her sake and mine, I sigh for the +incendiary. When the evening comes and the gas is lit and the wear and +tear of life ceases, we want to keep house always; but next morning we +wish, once more, that we were free and irresponsible boarders. + +Work?--one can't you know, to any purpose. I don't really get anything +done worth speaking of, except during the three or four months that we +are away in the Summer. I wish the Summer were seven years long. I keep +three or four books on the stocks all the time, but I seldom add a +satisfactory chapter to one of them at home. Yes, and it is all because +my time is taken up with answering the letters of strangers. It can't be +done through a short hand amanuensis--I've tried that--it wouldn't work +--I couldn't learn to dictate. What does possess strangers to write so +many letters? I never could find that out. However, I suppose I did it +myself when I was a stranger. But I will never do it again. + +Maybe you think I am not happy? the very thing that gravels me is that I +am. I don't want to be happy when I can't work; I am resolved that +hereafter I won't be. What I have always longed for, was the privilege +of living forever away up on one of those mountains in the Sandwich +Islands overlooking the sea. + Yours ever + MARK. + +That magazine article of yours was mighty good: up to your very best I +think. I enclose a book review written by Howells. + + + To W. D. Howells, in Boston: + + HARTFORD, Oct. 26 '81. +MY DEAR HOWELLS,--I am delighted with your review, and so is Mrs. +Clemens. What you have said, there, will convince anybody that reads it; +a body cannot help being convinced by it. That is the kind of a review +to have; the doubtful man; even the prejudiced man, is persuaded and +succumbs. + +What a queer blunder that was, about the baronet. I can't quite see how +I ever made it. There was an opulent abundance of things I didn't know; +and consequently no need to trench upon the vest-pocketful of things I +did know, to get material for a blunder. + +Charley Warren Stoddard has gone to the Sandwich Islands permanently. +Lucky devil. It is the only supremely delightful place on earth. It +does seem that the more advantage a body doesn't earn, here, the more of +them God throws at his head. This fellow's postal card has set the +vision of those gracious islands before my mind, again, with not a leaf +withered, nor a rainbow vanished, nor a sun-flash missing from the waves, +and now it will be months, I reckon, before I can drive it away again. +It is beautiful company, but it makes one restless and dissatisfied. + +With love and thanks, + Yrs ever, + MARK. + + + The review mentioned in this letter was of The Prince and the + Pauper. What the queer" blunder" about the baronet was, the present + writer confesses he does not know; but perhaps a careful reader + could find it, at least in the early edition; very likely it was + corrected without loss of time. + + Clemens now and then found it necessary to pay a visit to Canada in + the effort to protect his copyright. He usually had a grand time on + these trips, being lavishly entertained by the Canadian literary + fraternity. In November, 1881, he made one of these journeys in the + interest of The Prince and the Pauper, this time with Osgood, who + was now his publisher. In letters written home we get a hint of his + diversions. The Monsieur Frechette mentioned was a Canadian poet of + considerable distinction. "Clara" was Miss Clara Spaulding, of + Elmira, who had accompanied Mr. and Mrs. Clemens to Europe in 1873, + and again in 1878. Later she became Mrs. John B. Staachfield, of + New York City. Her name has already appeared in these letters many + times. + + + To Mrs. Clemens, in Hartford: + + MONTREAL, Nov. 28 '81. +Livy darling, you and Clara ought to have been at breakfast in the great +dining room this morning. English female faces, distinctive English +costumes, strange and marvelous English gaits--and yet such honest, +honorable, clean-souled countenances, just as these English women almost +always have, you know. Right away-- + +But they've come to take me to the top of Mount Royal, it being a cold, +dry, sunny, magnificent day. Going in a sleigh. + Yours lovingly, + SAML. + + + To Mrs. Clemens, in Hartford: + + MONTREAL, Sunday, November 27, 1881. +Livy dear, a mouse kept me awake last night till 3 or 4 o'clock--so I am +lying abed this morning. I would not give sixpence to be out yonder in +the storm, although it is only snow. + +[The above paragraph is written in the form of a rebus illustrated with +various sketches.] + +There--that's for the children--was not sure that they could read +writing; especially jean, who is strangely ignorant in some things. + +I can not only look out upon the beautiful snow-storm, past the vigorous +blaze of my fire; and upon the snow-veiled buildings which I have +sketched; and upon the churchward drifting umbrellas; and upon the +buffalo-clad cabmen stamping their feet and thrashing their arms on the +corner yonder: but I also look out upon the spot where the first white +men stood, in the neighborhood of four hundred years ago, admiring the +mighty stretch of leafy solitudes, and being admired and marveled at by +an eager multitude of naked savages. The discoverer of this region, and +namer of it, Jacques Cartier, has a square named for him in the city. I +wish you were here; you would enjoy your birthday, I think. + +I hoped for a letter, and thought I had one when the mail was handed in, +a minute ago, but it was only that note from Sylvester Baxter. You must +write--do you hear?--or I will be remiss myself. + +Give my love and a kiss to the children, and ask them to give you my love +and a kiss from + SAML. + + + To Mrs. Clemens, in Hartford: + + QUEBEC, Sunday. '81. +Livy darling, I received a letter from Monsieur Frechette this morning, +in which certain citizens of Montreal tendered me a public dinner next +Thursday, and by Osgood's advice I accepted it. I would have accepted +anyway, and very cheerfully but for the delay of two days--for I was +purposing to go to Boston Tuesday and home Wednesday; whereas, now I go +to Boston Friday and home Saturday. I have to go by Boston on account of +business. + +We drove about the steep hills and narrow, crooked streets of this old +town during three hours, yesterday, in a sleigh, in a driving snow-storm. +The people here don't mind snow; they were all out, plodding around on +their affairs--especially the children, who were wallowing around +everywhere, like snow images, and having a mighty good time. I wish I +could describe the winter costume of the young girls, but I can't. It is +grave and simple, but graceful and pretty--the top of it is a brimless +fur cap. Maybe it is the costume that makes pretty girls seem so +monotonously plenty here. It was a kind of relief to strike a homely +face occasionally. + +You descend into some of the streets by long, deep stairways; and in the +strong moonlight, last night, these were very picturesque. I did wish +you were here to see these things. You couldn't by any possibility sleep +in these beds, though, or enjoy the food. + +Good night, sweetheart, and give my respects to the cubs. + + SAML. + + + It had been hoped that W. D. Howells would join the Canadian + excursion, but Howells was not very well that autumn. He wrote that + he had been in bed five weeks, "most of the time recovering; so you + see how bad I must have been to begin with. But now I am out of any + first-class pain; I have a good appetite, and I am as abusive and + peremptory as Guiteau." Clemens, returning to Hartford, wrote him a + letter that explains itself. + + + To W. D. Howells, in Boston: + + HARTFORD, Dec. 16 '81. +MY DEAR HOWELLS,--It was a sharp disappointment--your inability to +connect, on the Canadian raid. What a gaudy good time we should have +had! + +Disappointed, again, when I got back to Boston; for I was promising +myself half an hour's look at you, in Belmont; but your note to Osgood +showed that that could not be allowed out yet. + +The Atlantic arrived an hour ago, and your faultless and delicious Police +Report brought that blamed Joe Twichell powerfully before me. There's a +man who can tell such things himself (by word of mouth,) and has as sure +an eye for detecting a thing that is before his eyes, as any man in the +world, perhaps--then why in the nation doesn't he report himself with a +pen? + +One of those drenching days last week, he slopped down town with his +cubs, and visited a poor little beggarly shed where were a dwarf, a fat +woman, and a giant of honest eight feet, on exhibition behind tawdry +show-canvases, but with nobody to exhibit to. The giant had a broom, and +was cleaning up and fixing around, diligently. Joe conceived the idea of +getting some talk out of him. Now that never would have occurred to me. +So he dropped in under the man's elbow, dogged him patiently around, +prodding him with questions and getting irritated snarls in return which +would have finished me early--but at last one of Joe's random shafts +drove the centre of that giant's sympathies somehow, and fetched him. +The fountains of his great deep were broken up, and he rained a flood of +personal history that was unspeakably entertaining. + +Among other things it turned out that he had been a Turkish (native) +colonel, and had fought all through the Crimean war--and so, for the +first time, Joe got a picture of the Charge of the Six Hundred that made +him see the living spectacle, the flash of flag and tongue-flame, the +rolling smoke, and hear the booming of the guns; and for the first time +also, he heard the reasons for that wild charge delivered from the mouth +of a master, and realized that nobody had "blundered," but that a cold, +logical, military brain had perceived this one and sole way to win an +already lost battle, and so gave the command and did achieve the victory. + +And mind you Joe was able to come up here, days afterwards, and reproduce +that giant's picturesque and admirable history. But dern him, he can't +write it--which is all wrong, and not as it should be. + +And he has gone and raked up the MS autobiography (written in 1848,) of +Mrs. Phebe Brown, (author of "I Love to Steal a While Away,") who +educated Yung Wing in her family when he was a little boy; and I came +near not getting to bed at all, last night, on account of the lurid +fascinations of it. Why in the nation it has never got into print, I +can't understand. + +But, by jings! the postman will be here in a minute; so, congratulations +upon your mending health, and gratitude that it is mending; and love to +you all. + Yrs Ever + MARK. + +Don't answer--I spare the sick. + + + + +XXII. + +LETTERS, 1882, MAINLY TO HOWELLS. WASTED FURY. OLD SCENES REVISITED. +THE MISSISSIPPI BOOK + + A man of Mark Twain's profession and prominence must necessarily be + the subject of much newspaper comment. Jest, compliment, criticism + --none of these things disturbed him, as a rule. He was pleased + that his books should receive favorable notices by men whose opinion + he respected, but he was not grieved by adverse expressions. Jests + at his expense, if well written, usually amused him; cheap jokes + only made him sad; but sarcasms and innuendoes were likely to enrage + him, particularly if he believed them prompted by malice. Perhaps + among all the letters he ever wrote, there is none more + characteristic than this confession of violence and eagerness for + reprisal, followed by his acknowledgment of error and a manifest + appreciation of his own weakness. It should be said that Mark Twain + and Whitelaw Reid were generally very good friends, and perhaps for + the moment this fact seemed to magnify the offense. + + + To W. D. Howells, in Boston: + + HARTFORD, Jan. 28 '82. +MY DEAR HOWELLS,--Nobody knows better than I, that there are times when +swearing cannot meet the emergency. How sharply I feel that, at this +moment. Not a single profane word has issued from my lips this mornin +--I have not even had the impulse to swear, so wholly ineffectual would +swearing have manifestly been, in the circumstances. But I will tell you +about it. + +About three weeks ago, a sensitive friend, approaching his revelation +cautiously, intimated that the N. Y. Tribune was engaged in a kind of +crusade against me. This seemed a higher compliment than I deserved; but +no matter, it made me very angry. I asked many questions, and gathered, +in substance, this: Since Reid's return from Europe, the Tribune had +been flinging sneers and brutalities at me with such persistent frequency +"as to attract general remark." I was an angered--which is just as good +an expression, I take it, as an hungered. Next, I learned that Osgood, +among the rest of the "general," was worrying over these constant and +pitiless attacks. Next came the testimony of another friend, that the +attacks were not merely "frequent," but "almost daily." Reflect upon +that: "Almost daily" insults, for two months on a stretch. What would +you have done? + +As for me, I did the thing which was the natural thing for me to do, that +is, I set about contriving a plan to accomplish one or the other of two +things: 1. Force a peace; or 2. Get revenge. When I got my plan +finished, it pleased me marvelously. It was in six or seven sections, +each section to be used in its turn and by itself; the assault to begin +at once with No. 1, and the rest to follow, one after the other, to keep +the communication open while I wrote my biography of Reid. I meant to +wind up with this latter great work, and then dismiss the subject for +good. + +Well, ever since then I have worked day and night making notes and +collecting and classifying material. I've got collectors at work in +England. I went to New York and sat three hours taking evidence while a +stenographer set it down. As my labors grew, so also grew my +fascination. Malice and malignity faded out of me--or maybe I drove them +out of me, knowing that a malignant book would hurt nobody but the fool +who wrote it. I got thoroughly in love with this work; for I saw that I +was going to write a book which the very devils and angels themselves +would delight to read, and which would draw disapproval from nobody but +the hero of it, (and Mrs. Clemens, who was bitter against the whole +thing.) One part of my plan was so delicious that I had to try my hand +on it right away, just for the luxury of it. I set about it, and sure +enough it panned out to admiration. I wrote that chapter most carefully, +and I couldn't find a fault with it. (It was not for the biography--no, +it belonged to an immediate and deadlier project.) + +Well, five days ago, this thought came into my mind(from Mrs. Clemens's): +"Wouldn't it be well to make sure that the attacks have been 'almost +daily'?--and to also make sure that their number and character will +justify me in doing what I am proposing to do?" + +I at once set a man to work in New York to seek out and copy every +unpleasant reference which had been made to me in the Tribune from Nov. +1st to date. On my own part I began to watch the current numbers, for I +had subscribed for the paper. + +The result arrived from my New York man this morning. O, what a pitiable +wreck of high hopes! The "almost daily" assaults, for two months, +consist of--1. Adverse criticism of P. & P. from an enraged idiot in the +London Atheneum; 2. Paragraph from some indignant Englishman in the Pall +Mall Gazette who pays me the vast compliment of gravely rebuking some +imaginary ass who has set me up in the neighborhood of Rabelais; 3. A +remark of the Tribune's about the Montreal dinner, touched with an almost +invisible satire; 4. A remark of the Tribune's about refusal of Canadian +copyright, not complimentary, but not necessarily malicious--and of +course adverse criticism which is not malicious is a thing which none but +fools irritate themselves about. + +There--that is the prodigious bugaboo, in its entirety! Can you conceive +of a man's getting himself into a sweat over so diminutive a provocation? +I am sure I can't. What the devil can those friends of mine have been +thinking about, to spread these 3 or 4 harmless things out into two +months of daily sneers and affronts? The whole offense, boiled down, +amounts to just this: one uncourteous remark of the Tribune about my +book--not me between Nov. 1 and Dec. 20; and a couple of foreign +criticisms (of my writings, not me,) between Nov. 1 and Jan. 26! If I +can't stand that amount of friction, I certainly need reconstruction. +Further boiled down, this vast outpouring of malice amounts to simply +this: one jest from the Tribune (one can make nothing more serious than +that out of it.) One jest--and that is all; for the foreign criticisms do +not count, they being matters of news, and proper for publication in +anybody's newspaper. + +And to offset that one jest, the Tribune paid me one compliment Dec. 23, +by publishing my note declining the New York New England dinner, while +merely (in the same breath,) mentioning that similar letters were read +from General Sherman and other men whom we all know to be persons of real +consequence. + +Well, my mountain has brought forth its mouse, and a sufficiently small +mouse it is, God knows. And my three weeks' hard work have got to go +into the ignominious pigeon-hole. Confound it, I could have earned ten +thousand dollars with infinitely less trouble. However, I shouldn't have +done it, for I am too lazy, now, in my sere and yellow leaf, to be +willing to work for anything but love..... I kind of envy you people who +are permitted for your righteousness' sake to dwell in a boarding house; +not that I should always want to live in one, but I should like the +change occasionally from this housekeeping slavery to that wild +independence. A life of don't-care-a-damn in a boarding house is what I +have asked for in many a secret prayer. I shall come by and by and +require of you what you have offered me there. + Yours ever, + MARK. + + + Howells, who had already known something of the gathering storm, + replied: "Your letter was an immense relief to me, for although I + had an abiding faith that you would get sick of your enterprise, + I wasn't easy until I knew that you had given it up. + + Joel Chandler Harris appears again in the letters of this period. + Twichell, during a trip South about this time, had called on Harris + with some sort of proposition or suggestion from Clemens that Harris + appear with him in public, and tell, or read, the Remus stories from + the platform. But Harris was abnormally diffident. Clemens later + pronounced him "the shyest full-grown man" he had ever met, and the + word which Twichell brought home evidently did not encourage the + platform idea. + + + To Joel Chandler Harris, in Atlanta: + + HARTFORD, Apl. 2, '82. +Private. + +MY DEAR MR. HARRIS,--Jo Twichell brought me your note and told me of his +talk with you. He said you didn't believe you would ever be able to +muster a sufficiency of reckless daring to make you comfortable and at +ease before an audience. Well, I have thought out a device whereby I +believe we can get around that difficulty. I will explain when I see +you. + +Jo says you want to go to Canada within a month or six weeks--I forget +just exactly what he did say; but he intimated the trip could be delayed +a while, if necessary. If this is so, suppose you meet Osgood and me in +New Orleans early in May--say somewhere between the 1st and 6th? + +It will be well worth your while to do this, because the author who goes +to Canada unposted, will not know what course to pursue [to secure +copyright] when he gets there; he will find himself in a hopeless +confusion as to what is the correct thing to do. Now Osgood is the only +man in America, who can lay out your course for you and tell you exactly +what to do. Therefore, you just come to New Orleans and have a talk with +him. + +Our idea is to strike across lots and reach St. Louis the 20th of April-- +thence we propose to drift southward, stopping at some town a few hours +or a night, every day, and making notes. + +To escape the interviewers, I shall follow my usual course and use a +fictitious name (C. L. Samuel, of New York.) I don't know what Osgood's +name will be, but he can't use his own. + +If you see your way to meet us in New Orleans, drop me a line, now, and +as we approach that city I will telegraph you what day we shall arrive +there. + +I would go to Atlanta if I could, but shan't be able. We shall go back +up the river to St. Paul, and thence by rail X-lots home. + +(I am making this letter so dreadfully private and confidential because +my movements must be kept secret, else I shan't be able to pick up the +kind of book-material I want.) + +If you are diffident, I suspect that you ought to let Osgood be your +magazine-agent. He makes those people pay three or four times as much as +an article is worth, whereas I never had the cheek to make them pay more +than double. + Yrs Sincerely + S. L. CLEMENS. + + + "My backwardness is an affliction," wrote Harris..... "The ordeal + of appearing on the stage would be a terrible one, but my experience + is that when a diffident man does become familiar with his + surroundings he has more impudence than his neighbors. Extremes + meet." + + He was sorely tempted, but his courage became as water at the + thought of footlights and assembled listeners. Once in New York he + appears to have been caught unawares at a Tile Club dinner and made + to tell a story, but his agony was such that at the prospect of a + similar ordeal in Boston he avoided that city and headed straight + for Georgia and safety. + + The New Orleans excursion with Osgood, as planned by Clemens, proved + a great success. The little party took the steamer Gold Dust from + St. Louis down river toward New Orleans. Clemens was quickly + recognized, of course, and his assumed name laid aside. The author + of "Uncle Remus" made the trip to New Orleans. George W. Cable was + there at the time, and we may believe that in the company of Mark + Twain and Osgood those Southern authors passed two or three + delightful days. Clemens also met his old teacher Bixby in New + Orleans, and came back up the river with him, spending most of his + time in the pilot-house, as in the old days. It was a glorious + trip, and, reaching St. Louis, he continued it northward, stopping + off at Hannibal and Quincy.' + + + To Mrs. Clemens, in Hartford: + + QUINCY, ILL. May 17, '82. +Livy darling, I am desperately homesick. But I have promised Osgood, and +must stick it out; otherwise I would take the train at once and break for +home. + +I have spent three delightful days in Hannibal, loitering around all day +long, examining the old localities and talking with the grey-heads who +were boys and girls with me 30 or 40 years ago. It has been a moving +time. I spent my nights with John and Helen Garth, three miles from +town, in their spacious and beautiful house. They were children with me, +and afterwards schoolmates. Now they have a daughter 19 or 20 years old. +Spent an hour, yesterday, with A. W. Lamb, who was not married when I saw +him last. He married a young lady whom I knew. And now I have been +talking with their grown-up sons and daughters. Lieutenant Hickman, the +spruce young handsomely-uniformed volunteer of 1846, called on me--a +grisly elephantine patriarch of 65 now, his grace all vanished. + +That world which I knew in its blossoming youth is old and bowed and +melancholy, now; its soft cheeks are leathery and wrinkled, the fire is +gone out in its eyes, and the spring from its step. It will be dust and +ashes when I come again. I have been clasping hands with the moribund- +and usually they said, "It is for the last time." + +Now I am under way again, upon this hideous trip to St. Paul, with a +heart brimming full of thoughts and images of you and Susie and Bay and +the peerless Jean. And so good night, my love. + + SAML. + + + Clemens's trip had been saddened by learning, in New Orleans, the + news of the death of Dr. John Brown, of Edinburgh. To Doctor + Brown's son, whom he had known as "Jock," he wrote immediately on + his return to Hartford. + + + To Mr. John Brown, in Edinburgh + + HARTFORD, June 1, 1882. +MY DEAR MR. BROWN,--I was three thousand miles from home, at breakfast in +New Orleans, when the damp morning paper revealed the sorrowful news +among the cable dispatches. There was no place in America, however +remote, or however rich, or poor or high or humble where words of +mourning for your father were not uttered that morning, for his works had +made him known and loved all over the land. To Mrs. Clemens and me, +the loss is personal; and our grief the grief one feels for one who was +peculiarly near and dear. Mrs. Clemens has never ceased to express +regret that we came away from England the last time without going to see +him, and often we have since projected a voyage across the Atlantic for +the sole purpose of taking him by the hand and looking into his kind eyes +once more before he should be called to his rest. + +We both thank you greatly for the Edinburgh papers which you sent. My +wife and I join in affectionate remembrances and greetings to yourself +and your aunt, and in the sincere tender of our sympathies. + + Faithfully yours, + S. L. CLEMENS. + +Our Susie is still "Megalops." He gave her that name: + +Can you spare a photograph of your father? We have none but the one +taken in a group with ourselves. + + + William Dean Howells, at the age of forty-five, reached what many + still regard his highest point of achievement in American realism. + His novel, The Rise of Silas Lapham, which was running as a Century + serial during the summer of 1882, attracted wide attention, and upon + its issue in book form took first place among his published novels. + Mark Twain, to the end of his life, loved all that Howells wrote. + Once, long afterward, he said: "Most authors give us glimpses of a + radiant moon, but Howells's moon shines and sails all night long." + When the instalments of The Rise of Silas Lapham began to appear, he + overflowed in adjectives, the sincerity of which we need not doubt, + in view of his quite open criticisms of the author's reading + delivery. + + + To W. D. Howells, in Belmont, Mass.: + +MY DEAR HOWELLS,--I am in a state of wild enthusiasm over this July +instalment of your story. It's perfectly dazzling--it's masterly-- +incomparable. Yet I heard you read it--without losing my balance. +Well, the difference between your reading and your writing is-remarkable. +I mean, in the effects produced and the impression left behind. Why, the +one is to the other as is one of Joe Twichell's yarns repeated by a +somnambulist. Goodness gracious, you read me a chapter, and it is a +gentle, pearly dawn, with a sprinkle of faint stars in it; but by and by +I strike it in print, and shout to myself, "God bless us, how has that +pallid former spectacle been turned into these gorgeous sunset +splendors!" + +Well, I don't care how much you read your truck to me, you can't +permanently damage it for me that way. It is always perfectly fresh and +dazzling when I come on it in the magazine. Of course I recognize the +form of it as being familiar--but that is all. That is, I remember it as +pyrotechnic figures which you set up before me, dead and cold, but ready +for the match--and now I see them touched off and all ablaze with +blinding fires. You can read, if you want to, but you don't read worth a +damn. I know you can read, because your readings of Cable and your +repeatings of the German doctor's remarks prove that. + +That's the best drunk scene--because the truest--that I ever read. There +are touches in it that I never saw any writer take note of before. And +they are set before the reader with amazing accuracy. How very drunk, +and how recently drunk, and how altogether admirably drunk you must have +been to enable you to contrive that masterpiece! + +Why I didn't notice that that religious interview between Marcia and Mrs. +Halleck was so deliciously humorous when you read it to me--but dear me, +it's just too lovely for anything. (Wrote Clark to collar it for the +"Library.") + +Hang it, I know where the mystery is, now; when you are reading, you +glide right along, and I don't get a chance to let the things soak home; +but when I catch it in the magazine, I give a page 20 or 30 minutes in +which to gently and thoroughly filter into me. Your humor is so very +subtle, and elusive--(well, often it's just a vanishing breath of perfume +which a body isn't certain he smelt till he stops and takes another +smell) whereas you can smell other + +(Remainder obliterated.) + + + Among Mark Twain's old schoolmates in Hannibal was little Helen + Kercheval, for whom in those early days he had a very tender spot + indeed. But she married another schoolmate, John Garth, who in time + became a banker, highly respected and a great influence. John and + Helen Garth have already been mentioned in the letter of May 17th. + + + To John Garth, in Hannibal: + + HARTFORD, July 3 '82. +DEAR JOHN,--Your letter of June i9 arrived just one day after we ought to +have been in Elmira, N. Y. for the summer: but at the last moment the +baby was seized with scarlet fever. I had to telegraph and countermand +the order for special sleeping car; and in fact we all had to fly around +in a lively way and undo the patient preparations of weeks--rehabilitate +the dismantled house, unpack the trunks, and so on. A couple of days +later, the eldest child was taken down with so fierce a fever that she +was soon delirious--not scarlet fever, however. Next, I myself was +stretched on the bed with three diseases at once, and all of them fatal. +But I never did care for fatal diseases if I could only have privacy and +room to express myself concerning them. + +We gave early warning, and of course nobody has entered the house in all +this time but one or two reckless old bachelors--and they probably wanted +to carry the disease to the children of former flames of theirs. The +house is still in quarantine and must remain so for a week or two yet--at +which time we are hoping to leave for Elmira. + Always your friend + S. L. CLEMENS. + + + By the end of summer Howells was in Europe, and Clemens, in Elmira, + was trying to finish his Mississippi book, which was giving him a + great deal of trouble. It was usually so with his non-fiction + books; his interest in them was not cumulative; he was prone to grow + weary of them, while the menace of his publisher's contract was + maddening. Howells's letters, meant to be comforting, or at least + entertaining, did not always contribute to his peace of mind. The + Library of American Humor which they had planned was an added + burden. Before sailing, Howells had written: "Do you suppose you + can do your share of the reading at Elmira, while you are writing at + the Mississippi book?" + + In a letter from London, Howells writes of the good times he is + having over there with Osgood, Hutton, John Hay, Aldrich, and Alma + Tadema, excursioning to Oxford, feasting, especially "at the Mitre + Tavern, where they let you choose your dinner from the joints + hanging from the rafter, and have passages that you lose yourself in + every time you try to go to your room..... Couldn't you and Mrs. + Clemens step over for a little while?..... We have seen lots of + nice people and have been most pleasantly made of; but I would + rather have you smoke in my face, and talk for half a day just for + pleasure, than to go to the best house or club in London." The + reader will gather that this could not be entirely soothing to a man + shackled by a contract and a book that refused to come to an end. + + + To W. D. Howells, in London: + + HARTFORD, CONN. Oct 30, 1882. +MY DEAR HOWELLS,--I do not expect to find you, so I shan't spend many +words on you to wind up in the perdition of some European dead-letter +office. I only just want to say that the closing installments of the +story are prodigious. All along I was afraid it would be impossible for +you to keep up so splendidly to the end; but you were only, I see now, +striking eleven. It is in these last chapters that you struck twelve. +Go on and write; you can write good books yet, but you can never match +this one. And speaking of the book, I inclose something which has been +happening here lately. + +We have only just arrived at home, and I have not seen Clark on our +matters. I cannot see him or any one else, until I get my book finished. +The weather turned cold, and we had to rush home, while I still lacked +thirty thousand words. I had been sick and got delayed. I am going to +write all day and two thirds of the night, until the thing is done, or +break down at it. The spur and burden of the contract are intolerable to +me. I can endure the irritation of it no longer. I went to work at nine +o'clock yesterday morning, and went to bed an hour after midnight. +Result of the day, (mainly stolen from books, tho' credit given,) 9500 +words, so I reduced my burden by one third in one day. It was five days +work in one. I have nothing more to borrow or steal; the rest must all +be written. It is ten days work, and unless something breaks, it will be +finished in five. We all send love to you and Mrs. Howells, and all the +family. + Yours as ever, + MARK. + + +Again, from Villeneuve, on lake Geneva, Howells wrote urging him this +time to spend the winter with them in Florence, where they would write +their great American Comedy of 'Orme's Motor,' "which is to enrich us +beyond the dreams of avarice.... We could have a lot of fun writing it, +and you could go home with some of the good old Etruscan malaria in your +bones, instead of the wretched pinch-beck Hartford article that you are +suffering from now.... it's a great opportunity for you. Besides, +nobody over there likes you half as well as I do." + +It should be added that 'Orme's Motor' was the provisional title that +Clemens and Howells had selected for their comedy, which was to be built, +in some measure, at least, around the character, or rather from the +peculiarities, of Orion Clemens. The Cable mentioned in Mark Twain's +reply is, of course, George W. Cable, who only a little while before had +come up from New Orleans to conquer the North with his wonderful tales +and readings. + + + To W. D. Howells, in Switzerland: + + HARTFORD, Nov. 4th, 1882. +MY DEAR HOWELLS,-- Yes, it would be profitable for me to do that, because +with your society to help me, I should swiftly finish this now apparently +interminable book. But I cannot come, because I am not Boss here, and +nothing but dynamite can move Mrs. Clemens away from home in the winter +season. + +I never had such a fight over a book in my life before. And the +foolishest part of the whole business is, that I started Osgood to +editing it before I had finished writing it. As a consequence, large +areas of it are condemned here and there and yonder, and I have the +burden of these unfilled gaps harassing me and the thought of the broken +continuity of the work, while I am at the same time trying to build the +last quarter of the book. However, at last I have said with sufficient +positiveness that I will finish the book at no particular date; that I +will not hurry it; that I will not hurry myself; that I will take things +easy and comfortably, write when I choose to write, leave it alone when I +so prefer. The printers must wait, the artists, the canvassers, and all +the rest. I have got everything at a dead standstill, and that is where +it ought to be, and that is where it must remain; to follow any other +policy would be to make the book worse than it already is. I ought to +have finished it before showing to anybody, and then sent it across the +ocean to you to be edited, as usual; for you seem to be a great many +shades happier than you deserve to be, and if I had thought of this thing +earlier, I would have acted upon it and taken the tuck somewhat out of +your joyousness. + +In the same mail with your letter, arrived the enclosed from Orme the +motor man. You will observe that he has an office. I will explain that +this is a law office and I think it probably does him as much good to +have a law office without anything to do in it, as it would another man +to have one with an active business attached. You see he is on the +electric light lay now. Going to light the city and allow me to take all +the stock if I want to. And he will manage it free of charge. It never +would occur to this simple soul how much less costly it would be to me, +to hire him on a good salary not to manage it. Do you observe the same +old eagerness, the same old hurry, springing from the fear that if he +does not move with the utmost swiftness, that colossal opportunity will +escape him? Now just fancy this same frantic plunging after vast +opportunities, going on week after week with this same man, during fifty +entire years, and he has not yet learned, in the slightest degree, that +there isn't any occasion to hurry; that his vast opportunity will always +wait; and that whether it waits or flies, he certainly will never catch +it. This immortal hopefulness, fortified by its immortal and unteachable +misjudgment, is the immortal feature of this character, for a play; and +we will write that play. We should be fools else. That staccato +postscript reads as if some new and mighty business were imminent, for it +is slung on the paper telegraphically, all the small words left out. +I am afraid something newer and bigger than the electric light is +swinging across his orbit. Save this letter for an inspiration. I have +got a hundred more. + +Cable has been here, creating worshipers on all hands. He is a marvelous +talker on a deep subject. I do not see how even Spencer could unwind a +thought more smoothly or orderly, and do it in a cleaner, clearer, +crisper English. He astounded Twichell with his faculty. You know when +it comes down to moral honesty, limpid innocence, and utterly blemishless +piety, the Apostles were mere policemen to Cable; so with this in mind +you must imagine him at a midnight dinner in Boston the other night, +where we gathered around the board of the Summerset Club; Osgood, full, +Boyle O'Reilly, full, Fairchild responsively loaded, and Aldrich and +myself possessing the floor, and properly fortified. Cable told Mrs. +Clemens when he returned here, that he seemed to have been entertaining +himself with horses, and had a dreamy idea that he must have gone to +Boston in a cattle-car. It was a very large time. He called it an orgy. +And no doubt it was, viewed from his standpoint. + +I wish I were in Switzerland, and I wish we could go to Florence; but we +have to leave these delights to you; there is no helping it. We all join +in love to you and all the family. + Yours as ever + MARK. + + + + +XXIII. + +LETTERS, 1883, TO HOWELLS AND OTHERS. A GUEST OF THE MARQUIS OF LORNE. +THE HISTORY GAME. A PLAY BY HOWELLS AND MARK TWAIN + + Mark Twain, in due season, finished the Mississippi book and placed + it in Osgood's hands for publication. It was a sort of partnership + arrangement in which Clemens was to furnish the money to make the + book, and pay Osgood a percentage for handling it. It was, in fact, + the beginning of Mark Twain's adventures as a publisher. + + Howells was not as happy in Florence as he had hoped to be. The + social life there overwhelmed him. In February he wrote: "Our two + months in Florence have been the most ridiculous time that ever even + half-witted people passed. We have spent them in chasing round + after people for whom we cared nothing, and being chased by them. + My story isn't finished yet, and what part of it is done bears the + fatal marks of haste and distraction. Of course, I haven't put pen + to paper yet on the play. I wring my hands and beat my breast when + I think of how these weeks have been wasted; and how I have been + forced to waste them by the infernal social circumstances from which + I couldn't escape." + + Clemens, now free from the burden of his own book, was light of + heart and full of ideas and news; also of sympathy and appreciation. + Howells's story of this time was "A Woman's Reason." Governor + Jewell, of this letter, was Marshall Jewell, Governor of Connecticut + from 1871 to 1873. Later, he was Minister to Russia, and in 1874 + was United States Postmaster-General. + + + To W. D. Howells, in Florence: + + HARTFORD, March 1st, 1883. +MY DEAR HOWELLS,--We got ourselves ground up in that same mill, once, in +London, and another time in Paris. It is a kind of foretaste of hell. +There is no way to avoid it except by the method which you have now +chosen. One must live secretly and cut himself utterly off from the +human race, or life in Europe becomes an unbearable burden and work an +impossibility. I learned something last night, and maybe it may +reconcile me to go to Europe again sometime. I attended one of the +astonishingly popular lectures of a man by the name of Stoddard, who +exhibits interesting stereopticon pictures and then knocks the interest +all out of them with his comments upon them. But all the world go there +to look and listen, and are apparently well satisfied. And they ought to +be fully satisfied, if the lecturer would only keep still, or die in the +first act. But he described how retired tradesmen and farmers in Holland +load a lazy scow with the family and the household effects, and then loaf +along the waterways of the low countries all the summer long, paying no +visits, receiving none, and just lazying a heavenly life out in their own +private unpestered society, and doing their literary work, if they have +any, wholly uninterrupted. If you had hired such a boat and sent for us +we should have a couple of satisfactory books ready for the press now +with no marks of interruption, vexatious wearinesses, and other +hellishnesses visible upon them anywhere. We shall have to do this +another time. We have lost an opportunity for the present. Do you +forget that Heaven is packed with a multitude of all nations and that +these people are all on the most familiar how-the-hell-are-you footing +with Talmage swinging around the circle to all eternity hugging the +saints and patriarchs and archangels, and forcing you to do the same +unless you choose to make yourself an object of remark if you refrain? +Then why do you try to get to Heaven? Be warned in time. + +We have all read your two opening numbers in the Century, and consider +them almost beyond praise. I hear no dissent from this verdict. I did +not know there was an untouched personage in American life, but I had +forgotten the auctioneer. You have photographed him accurately. + +I have been an utterly free person for a month or two; and I do not +believe I ever so greatly appreciated and enjoyed--and realized the +absence of the chains of slavery as I do this time. Usually my first +waking thought in the morning is, "I have nothing to do to-day, I belong +to nobody, I have ceased from being a slave." Of course the highest +pleasure to be got out of freedom, and having nothing to do, is labor. +Therefore I labor. But I take my time about it. I work one hour or four +as happens to suit my mind, and quit when I please. And so these days +are days of entire enjoyment. I told Clark the other day, to jog along +comfortable and not get in a sweat. I said I believed you would not be +able to enjoy editing that library over there, where you have your own +legitimate work to do and be pestered to death by society besides; +therefore I thought if he got it ready for you against your return, that +that would be best and pleasantest. + +You remember Governor Jewell, and the night he told about Russia, down in +the library. He was taken with a cold about three weeks ago, and I +stepped over one evening, proposing to beguile an idle hour for him with +a yarn or two, but was received at the door with whispers, and the +information that he was dying. His case had been dangerous during that +day only and he died that night, two hours after I left. His taking off +was a prodigious surprise, and his death has been most widely and +sincerely regretted. Win. E. Dodge, the father-in-law of one of Jewell's +daughters, dropped suddenly dead the day before Jewell died, but Jewell +died without knowing that. Jewell's widow went down to New York, to +Dodge's house, the day after Jewell's funeral, and was to return here day +before yesterday, and she did--in a coffin. She fell dead, of heart +disease, while her trunks were being packed for her return home. +Florence Strong, one of Jewell's daughters, who lives in Detroit, started +East on an urgent telegram, but missed a connection somewhere, and did +not arrive here in time to see her father alive. She was his favorite +child, and they had always been like lovers together. He always sent her +a box of fresh flowers once a week to the day of his death; a custom +which he never suspended even when he was in Russia. Mrs. Strong had +only just reached her Western home again when she was summoned to +Hartford to attend her mother's funeral. + +I have had the impulse to write you several times. I shall try to +remember better henceforth. + +With sincerest regards to all of you, + Yours as ever, + MARK. + + + Mark Twain made another trip to Canada in the interest of copyright- + this time to protect the Mississippi book. When his journey was + announced by the press, the Marquis of Lorne telegraphed an + invitation inviting him to be his guest at Rideau Hall, in Ottawa. + Clemens accepted, of course, and was handsomely entertained by the + daughter of Queen Victoria and her husband, then Governor-General of + Canada. + + On his return to Hartford he found that Osgood had issued a curious + little book, for which Clemens had prepared an introduction. It was + an absurd volume, though originally issued with serious intent, its + title being The New Guide of the Conversation in Portuguese and + English.'--[The New Guide of the Conversation in Portuguese and + English, by Pedro Caxolino, with an introduction by Mark Twain. + Osgood, Boston, 1883. ]-- Evidently the "New Guide" was prepared by + some simple Portuguese soul with but slight knowledge of English + beyond that which could be obtained from a dictionary, and his + literal translation of English idioms are often startling, as, for + instance, this one, taken at random: + + "A little learneds are happies enough for to may to satisfy their + fancies on the literature." + + Mark Twain thought this quaint book might amuse his royal hostess, + and forwarded a copy in what he considered to be the safe and proper + form. + + To Col. De Winton, in Ottawa, Canada: + + HARTFORD, June 4, '83. +DEAR COLONEL DE WINTON,--I very much want to send a little book to her +Royal Highness--the famous Portuguese phrase book; but I do not know the +etiquette of the matter, and I would not wittingly infringe any rule of +propriety. It is a book which I perfectly well know will amuse her "some +at most" if she has not seen it before, and will still amuse her "some at +least," even if she has inspected it a hundred times already. So I will +send the book to you, and you who know all about the proper observances +will protect me from indiscretion, in case of need, by putting the said +book in the fire, and remaining as dumb as I generally was when I was up +there. I do not rebind the thing, because that would look as if I +thought it worth keeping, whereas it is only worth glancing at and +casting aside. + +Will you please present my compliments to Mrs. De Winton and Mrs. +Mackenzie?--and I beg to make my sincere compliments to you, also, for +your infinite kindnesses to me. I did have a delightful time up there, +most certainly. + Truly yours + S. L. CLEMENS. + +P. S. Although the introduction dates a year back, the book is only just +now issued. A good long delay. + + S. L. C. + + Howells, writing from Venice, in April, manifested special interest + in the play project: "Something that would run like Scheherazade, + for a thousand and one nights," so perhaps his book was going + better. He proposed that they devote the month of October to the + work, and inclosed a letter from Mallory, who owned not only a + religious paper, The Churchman, but also the Madison Square Theater, + and was anxious for a Howells play. Twenty years before Howells had + been Consul to Venice, and he wrote, now: "The idea of my being here + is benumbing and silencing. I feel like the Wandering Jew, or the + ghost of the Cardiff giant." + + He returned to America in July. Clemens sent him word of welcome, + with glowing reports of his own undertakings. The story on which he + was piling up MS. was The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn, begun + seven years before at Quarry Farm. He had no great faith in it + then, and though he had taken it up again in 1880, his interest had + not lasted to its conclusion. This time, however, he was in the + proper spirit, and the story would be finished. + + + To W. D. Howells, in Boston: + + ELMIRA, July 20, '83. +MY DEAR HOWELLS,--We are desperately glad you and your gang are home +again--may you never travel again, till you go aloft or alow. Charley +Clark has gone to the other side for a run--will be back in August. He +has been sick, and needed the trip very much. + +Mrs. Clemens had a long and wasting spell of sickness last Spring, but +she is pulling up, now. The children are booming, and my health is +ridiculous, it's so robust, notwithstanding the newspaper misreports. + +I haven't piled up MS so in years as I have done since we came here to +the farm three weeks and a half ago. Why, it's like old times, to step +right into the study, damp from the breakfast table, and sail right in +and sail right on, the whole day long, without thought of running short +of stuff or words. + +I wrote 4000 words to-day and I touch 3000 and upwards pretty often, and +don't fall below 1600 any working day. And when I get fagged out, I lie +abed a couple of days and read and smoke, and then go it again for 6 or 7 +days. I have finished one small book, and am away along in a big 433 +one that I half-finished two or three years ago. I expect to complete it +in a month or six weeks or two months more. And I shall like it, whether +anybody else does or not. + +It's a kind of companion to Tom Sawyer. There's a raft episode from it +in second or third chapter of life on the Mississippi..... + +I'm booming, these days--got health and spirits to waste--got an +overplus; and if I were at home, we would write a play. But we must do +it anyhow by and by. + +We stay here till Sep. 10; then maybe a week at Indian Neck for sea air, +then home. + +We are powerful glad you are all back; and send love according. + + Yrs Ever + MARK + + + To Onion Clemens and family, in Keokuk, Id.: + + ELMIRA, July 22, '83. +Private + +DEAR MA AND ORION AND MOLLIE,--I don't know that I have anything new to +report, except that Livy is still gaining, and all the rest of us +flourishing. I haven't had such booming working-days for many years. +I am piling up manuscript in a really astonishing way. I believe I shall +complete, in two months, a book which I have been fooling over for +7 years. This summer it is no more trouble to me to write than it is to +lie. + +Day before yesterday I felt slightly warned to knock off work for one +day. So I did it, and took the open air. Then I struck an idea for the +instruction of the children, and went to work and carried it out. It +took me all day. I measured off 817 feet of the road-way in our farm +grounds, with a foot-rule, and then divided it up among the English +reigns, from the Conqueror down to 1883, allowing one foot to the year. +I whittled out a basket of little pegs aNd drove one in the ground at the +beginning of each reign, and gave it that King's name-thus: + +I measured all the reigns exactly as many feet to the reign as there were +years in it. You can look out over the grounds and see the little pegs +from the front door--some of them close together, like Richard II, +Richard Cromwell, James II, &c; and some prodigiously wide apart, like +Henry III, Edward III, George III, &c. It gives the children a realizing +sense of the length or brevity of a reign. Shall invent a violent game +to go with it. + +And in bed, last night, I invented a way to play it indoors--in a far +more voluminous way, as to multiplicity of dates and events--on a +cribbage board. + +Hello, supper's ready. + Love to all. + Good bye. + SAML. + + + Onion Clemens would naturally get excited over the idea of the game + and its commercial possibilities. Not more so than his brother, + however, who presently employed him to arrange a quantity of + historical data which the game was to teach. For a season, indeed, + interest in the game became a sort of midsummer madness which + pervaded the two households, at Keokuk and at Quarry Farm. Howells + wrote his approval of the idea of "learning history by the running + foot," which was a pun, even if unintentional, for in its out-door + form it was a game of speed as well as knowledge. + + Howells adds that he has noticed that the newspapers are exploiting + Mark Twain's new invention of a history game, and we shall presently + see how this happened. + + Also, in this letter, Howells speaks of an English nobleman to whom + he has given a letter of introduction. "He seemed a simple, quiet, + gentlemanly man, with a good taste in literature, which he evinced + by going about with my books in his pockets, and talking of yours." + + + To W. D. Howells, in Boston: + +MY DEAR HOWELLS,--How odd it seems, to sit down to write a letter with +the feeling that you've got time to do it. But I'm done work, for this +season, and so have got time. I've done two seasons' work in one, and +haven't anything left to do, now, but revise. I've written eight or nine +hundred MS pages in such a brief space of time that I mustn't name the +number of days; I shouldn't believe it myself, and of course couldn't +expect you to. I used to restrict myself to 4 or 5 hours a day and +5 days in the week, but this time I've wrought from breakfast till +5.15 p.m. six days in the week; and once or twice I smouched a Sunday +when the boss wasn't looking. Nothing is half so good as literature +hooked on Sunday, on the sly. + +I wrote you and Twichell on the same night, about the game, and was +appalled to get a note from him saying he was going to print part of my +letter, and was going to do it before I could get a chance to forbid it. +I telegraphed him, but was of course too late. + +If you haven't ever tried to invent an indoor historical game, don't. +I've got the thing at last so it will work, I guess, but I don't want any +more tasks of that kind. When I wrote you, I thought I had it; whereas I +was only merely entering upon the initiatory difficulties of it. I might +have known it wouldn't be an easy job, or somebody would have invented a +decent historical game long ago--a thing which nobody had done. I think +I've got it in pretty fair shape--so I have caveated it. + +Earl of Onston--is that it? All right, we shall be very glad to receive +them and get acquainted with them. And much obliged to you, too. +There's plenty of worse people than the nobilities. I went up and spent +a week with the Marquis and the Princess Louise, and had as good a time +as I want. + +I'm powerful glad you are all back again; and we will come up there if +our little tribe will give us the necessary furlough; and if we can't get +it, you folks must come to us and give us an extension of time. We get +home Sept. 11. + +Hello, I think I see Waring coming! + +Good-by-letter from Clark, which explains for him. + +Love to you all from the + CLEMENSES. + +No--it wasn't Waring. I wonder what the devil has become of that man. +He was to spend to-day with us, and the day's most gone, now. + +We are enjoying your story with our usual unspeakableness; and I'm right +glad you threw in the shipwreck and the mystery--I like it. Mrs. Crane +thinks it's the best story you've written yet. We--but we always think +the last one is the best. And why shouldn't it be? Practice helps. + +P. S. I thought I had sent all our loves to all of you, but Mrs. Clemens +says I haven't. Damn it, a body can't think of everything; but a woman +thinks you can. I better seal this, now--else there'll be more +criticism. + +I perceive I haven't got the love in, yet. Well, we do send the love of +all the family to all the Howellses. + S. L. C. + + +There had been some delay and postponement in the matter of the play +which Howells and Clemens agreed to write. They did not put in the +entire month of October as they had planned, but they did put in a +portion of that month, the latter half, working out their old idea. +In the end it became a revival of Colonel Sellers, or rather a caricature +of that gentle hearted old visionary. Clemens had always complained that +the actor Raymond had never brought out the finer shades of Colonel +Sellers's character, but Raymond in his worst performance never belied +his original as did Howells and Clemens in his dramatic revival. These +two, working together, let their imaginations run riot with disastrous +results. The reader can judge something of this himself, from The +American Claimant the book which Mark Twain would later build from the +play. + +But at this time they thought it a great triumph. They had "cracked +their sides" laughing over its construction, as Howells once said, and +they thought the world would do the same over its performance. They +decided to offer it to Raymond, but rather haughtily, indifferently, +because any number of other actors would be waiting for it. + +But this was a miscalculation. Raymond now turned the tables. Though +favorable to the idea of a new play, he declared this one did not present +his old Sellers at all, but a lunatic. In the end he returned the MS. +with a brief note. Attempts had already been made to interest other +actors, and would continue for some time. + + + + +XXIV + +LETTERS, 1884, TO HOWELLS AND OTHERS. CABLE'S GREAT APRIL FOOL. +"HUCK FINN" IN PRESS. MARK TWAIN FOR CLEVELAND. CLEMENS AND CABLE + +Mark Twain had a lingering attack of the dramatic fever that winter. +He made a play of the Prince and Pauper, which Howells pronounced "too +thin and slight and not half long enough." He made another of Tom +Sawyer, and probably destroyed it, for no trace of the MS. exists to-day. +Howells could not join in these ventures, for he was otherwise occupied +and had sickness in his household. + + + To W. D. Howells, in Boston: + + Jan. 7, '84. +MY DEAR HOWELLS,--"O my goodn's" ,as Jean says. You have now encountered +at last the heaviest calamity that can befall an author. The scarlet +fever, once domesticated, is a permanent member of the family. Money may +desert you, friends forsake you, enemies grow indifferent to you, but the +scarlet fever will be true to you, through thick and thin, till you be +all saved or damned, down to the last one. I say these things to cheer +you. + +The bare suggestion of scarlet fever in the family makes me shudder; I +believe I would almost rather have Osgood publish a book for me. + +You folks have our most sincere sympathy. Oh, the intrusion of this +hideous disease is an unspeakable disaster. + +My billiard table is stacked up with books relating to the Sandwich +Islands: the walls axe upholstered with scraps of paper penciled with +notes drawn from them. I have saturated myself with knowledge of that +unimaginably beautiful land and that most strange and fascinating people. +And I have begun a story. Its hidden motive will illustrate a but-little +considered fact in human nature; that the religious folly you are born in +you will die in, no matter what apparently reasonabler religious folly +may seem to have taken its place meanwhile, and abolished and obliterated +it. I start Bill Ragsdale at 12 years of age, and the heroine at 4, in +the midst of the ancient idolatrous system, with its picturesque and +amazing customs and superstitions, 3 months before the arrival of the +missionaries and the erection of a shallow Christianity upon the ruins of +the old paganism. Then these two will become educated Christians, and +highly civilized. + +And then I will jump 15 years, and do Ragsdale's leper business. When we +came to dramatize, we can draw a deal of matter from the story, all ready +to our hand. + Yrs Ever + MARK. + + + He never finished the Sandwich Islands story which he and Howells + were to dramatize later. His head filled up with other projects, + such as publishing plans, reading-tours, and the like. The type- + setting machine does not appear in the letters of this period, but + it was an important factor, nevertheless. It was costing several + thousand dollars a month for construction and becoming a heavy drain + on Mark Twain's finances. It was necessary to recuperate, and the + anxiety for a profitable play, or some other adventure that would + bring a quick and generous return, grew out of this need. + + Clemens had established Charles L. Webster, his nephew by marriage, + in a New York office, as selling agent for the Mississippi book and + for his plays. He was also planning to let Webster publish the new + book, Huck Finn. + + George W. Cable had proven his ability as a reader, and Clemens saw + possibilities in a reading combination, which was first planned to + include Aldrich, and Howells, and a private car. + + But Aldrich and Howells did not warm to the idea, and the car was + eliminated from the plan. Cable came to visit Clemens in Hartford, + and was taken with the mumps, so that the reading-trip was + postponed. + + The fortunes of the Sellers play were most uncertain and becoming + daily more doubtful. In February, Howells wrote: "If you have got + any comfort in regard to our play I wish you would heave it into my + bosom." + + Cable recovered in time, and out of gratitude planned a great April- + fool surprise for his host. He was a systematic man, and did it in + his usual thorough way. He sent a "private and confidential" + suggestion to a hundred and fifty of Mark Twain's friends and + admirers, nearly all distinguished literary men. The suggestion was + that each one of them should send a request for Mark Twain's + autograph, timing it so that it would arrive on the 1st of April. + All seemed to have responded. Mark Twain's writing-table on April + Fool morning was heaped with letters, asking in every ridiculous + fashion for his "valuable autograph." The one from Aldrich was a + fair sample. He wrote: "I am making a collection of autographs of + our distinguished writers, and having read one of your works, + Gabriel Convoy, I would like to add your name to the list." + + Of course, the joke in this was that Gabriel Convoy was by Bret + Harte, who by this time was thoroughly detested by Mark Twain. The + first one or two of the letters puzzled the victim; then he + comprehended the size and character of the joke and entered into it + thoroughly. One of the letters was from Bloodgood H. Cutter, the + "Poet Lariat" of Innocents Abroad. Cutter, of course, wrote in + "poetry," that is to say, doggerel. Mark Twain's April Fool was a + most pleasant one. + + + Rhymed letter by Bloodgood H. Cutter to Mark Twain: + + LITTLE NECK, LONG ISLAND. + + LONG ISLAND FARMER, TO HIS FRIEND AND PILGRIM BROTHER, + SAMUEL L. CLEMENS, ESQ. + +Friends, suggest in each one's behalf +To write, and ask your autograph. +To refuse that, I will not do, +After the long voyage had with you. +That was a memorable time You wrote in prose, I wrote in Rhyme To +describe the wonders of each place, And the queer customs of each race. + +That is in my memory yet +For while I live I'll not forget. +I often think of that affair +And the many that were with us there. + +As your friends think it for the best +I ask your Autograph with the rest, +Hoping you will it to me send +'Twill please and cheer your dear old friend: + + Yours truly, + BLOODGOOD H. CUTTER. + + + To W. D. Howells, in Boston: + + HARTFORD, Apl 8, '84. +MY DEAR HOWELLS, It took my breath away, and I haven't recovered it yet, +entirely--I mean the generosity of your proposal to read the proofs of +Huck Finn. + +Now if you mean it, old man--if you are in earnest--proceed, in God's +name, and be by me forever blest. I cannot conceive of a rational man +deliberately piling such an atrocious job upon himself; but if there is +such a man and you be that man, why then pile it on. It will cost me a +pang every time I think of it, but this anguish will be eingebusst to me +in the joy and comfort I shall get out of the not having to read the +verfluchtete proofs myself. But if you have repented of your +augenblichlicher Tobsucht and got back to calm cold reason again, I won't +hold you to it unless I find I have got you down in writing somewhere. +Herr, I would not read the proof of one of my books for any fair and +reasonable sum whatever, if I could get out of it. + +The proof-reading on the P & P cost me the last rags of my religion. + M. + + +Howells had written that he would be glad to help out in the reading of +the proofs of Huck Finn, which book Webster by this time had in hand. +Replying to Clemens's eager and grateful acceptance now, he wrote: "It is +all perfectly true about the generosity, unless I am going to read your +proofs from one of the shabby motives which I always find at the bottom +of my soul if I examine it." A characteristic utterance, though we may +be permitted to believe that his shabby motives were fewer and less +shabby than those of mankind in general. + +The proofs which Howells was reading pleased him mightily. Once, during +the summer, he wrote: "if I had written half as good a book as Huck Finn +I shouldn't ask anything better than to read the proofs; even as it is, +I don't, so send them on; they will always find me somewhere." + +This was the summer of the Blaine-Cleveland campaign. Mark Twain, in +company with many other leading men, had mugwumped, and was supporting +Cleveland. From the next letter we gather something of the aspects of +that memorable campaign, which was one of scandal and vituperation. We +learn, too, that the young sculptor, Karl Gerhardt, having completed a +three years' study in Paris, had returned to America a qualified artist. + + + To W. D. Howells, in Boston: + + ELMIRA, Aug. 21, '84. +MY DEAR HOWELLS,--This presidential campaign is too delicious for +anything. Isn't human nature the most consummate sham and lie that was +ever invented? Isn't man a creature to be ashamed of in pretty much all +his aspects? Man, "know thyself "--and then thou wilt despise thyself, +to a dead moral certainty. Take three quite good specimens--Hawley, +Warner, and Charley Clark. Even I do not loathe Blaine more than they +do; yet Hawley is howling for Blaine, Warner and Clark are eating their +daily crow in the paper for him, and all three will vote for him. O +Stultification, where is thy sting, O slave where is thy hickory! + +I suppose you heard how a marble monument for which St. Gaudens was +pecuniarily responsible, burned down in Hartford the other day, +uninsured--for who in the world would ever think of insuring a marble +shaft in a cemetery against a fire?--and left St. Gauden out of pocket +$15,000. + +It was a bad day for artists. Gerhardt finished my bust that day, and +the work was pronounced admirable by all the kin and friends; but in +putting it in plaster (or rather taking it out) next day it got ruined. +It was four or five weeks hard work gone to the dogs. The news flew, and +everybody on the farm flocked to the arbor and grouped themselves about +the wreck in a profound and moving silence--the farm-help, the colored +servants, the German nurse, the children, everybody--a silence +interrupted at wide intervals by absent-minded ejaculations wising from +unconscious breasts as the whole size of the disaster gradually worked +its way home to the realization of one spirit after another. + +Some burst out with one thing, some another; the German nurse put up her +hands and said, "Oh, Schade! oh, schrecklich ! "But Gerhardt said +nothing; or almost that. He couldn't word it, I suppose. But he went to +work, and by dark had everything thoroughly well under way for a fresh +start in the morning; and in three days' time had built a new bust which +was a trifle better than the old one--and to-morrow we shall put the +finishing touches on it, and it will be about as good a one as nearly +anybody can make. + Yrs Ever + MARK. + + +If you run across anybody who wants a bust, be sure and recommend +Gerhardt on my say-so. + +But Howells was determinedly for Blaine. "I shall vote for Blaine," he +replied. "I do not believe he is guilty of the things they accuse him +of, and I know they are not proved against him. As for Cleveland, his +private life may be no worse than that of most men, but as an enemy of +that contemptible, hypocritical, lop-sided morality which says a woman +shall suffer all the shame of unchastity and man none, I want to see him +destroyed politically by his past. The men who defend him would take +their wives to the White House if he were president, but if he married +his concubine--'made her an honest woman' they would not go near him. I +can't stand that." + +Certainly this was sound logic, in that day, at least. But it left +Clemens far from satisfied. + + + To W. D. Howells, in Boston: + + ELMIRA, Sept. 17, '84. +MY DEAR HOWELLS,--Somehow I can't seem to rest quiet under the idea of +your voting for Blaine. I believe you said something about the country +and the party. Certainly allegiance to these is well; but as certainly a +man's first duty is to his own conscience and honor--the party or the +country come second to that, and never first. I don't ask you to vote at +all--I only urge you to not soil yourself by voting for Blaine. + +When you wrote before, you were able to say the charges against him were +not proven. But you know now that they are proven, and it seems to me +that that bars you and all other honest and honorable men (who are +independently situated) from voting for him. + +It is not necessary to vote for Cleveland; the only necessary thing to +do, as I understand it, is that a man shall keep himself clean, (by +withholding his vote for an improper man) even though the party and the +country go to destruction in consequence. It is not parties that make or +save countries or that build them to greatness--it is clean men, clean +ordinary citizens, rank and file, the masses. Clean masses are not made +by individuals standing back till the rest become clean. + +As I said before, I think a man's first duty is to his own honor; not to +his country and not to his party. Don't be offended; I mean no offence. +I am not so concerned about the rest of the nation, but--well, good-bye. + Ys Ever + MARK. + + + There does not appear to be any further discussion of the matter + between Howells and Clemens. Their letters for a time contained no + suggestion of politics. + + Perhaps Mark Twain's own political conscience was not entirely clear + in his repudiation of his party; at least we may believe from his + next letter that his Cleveland enthusiasm was qualified by a + willingness to support a Republican who would command his admiration + and honor. The idea of an eleventh-hour nomination was rather + startling, whatever its motive. + + + To Mr. Pierce, in Boston: + + HARTFORD, Oct. 22, '84. +MY DEAR MR. PIERCE,--You know, as well as I do, that the reason the +majority of republicans are going to vote for Blaine is because they feel +that they cannot help themselves. Do not you believe that if Mr. Edmunds +would consent to run for President, on the Independent ticket--even at +this late day--he might be elected? + +Well, if he wouldn't consent, but should even strenuously protest and say +he wouldn't serve if elected, isn't it still wise and fair to nominate +him and vote for him? since his protest would relieve him from all +responsibility; and he couldn't surely find fault with people for forcing +a compliment upon him. And do not you believe that his name thus +compulsorily placed at the head of the Independent column would work +absolutely certain defeat to Blain and save the country's honor? + +Politicians often carry a victory by springing some disgraceful and +rascally mine under the feet of the adversary at the eleventh hour; would +it not be wholesome to vary this thing for once and spring as formidable +a mine of a better sort under the enemy's works? + +If Edmunds's name were put up, I would vote for him in the teeth of all +the protesting and blaspheming he could do in a month; and there are lots +of others who would do likewise. + +If this notion is not a foolish and wicked one, won't you just consult +with some chief Independents, and see if they won't call a sudden +convention and whoop the thing through? To nominate Edmunds the 1st of +November, would be soon enough, wouldn't it? + +With kindest regards to you and the Aldriches, + Yr Truly + S. L. CLEMENS. + + +Clemens and Cable set out on their reading-tour in November. They were a +curiously-assorted pair: Cable was of orthodox religion, exact as to +habits, neat, prim, all that Clemens was not. In the beginning Cable +undertook to read the Bible aloud to Clemens each evening, but this part +of the day's program was presently omitted by request. If they spent +Sunday in a town, Cable was up bright and early visiting the various +churches and Sunday-schools, while Mark Twain remained at the hotel, in +bed, reading or asleep. + + + + +XXV + +THE GREAT YEAR OF 1885. CLEMENS AND CABLE. PUBLICATION OF "HUCK FINN." +THE GRANT MEMOIRS. MARK TWAIN AT FIFTY + + The year 1885 was in some respects the most important, certainly the + most pleasantly exciting, in Mark Twain's life. It was the year in + which he entered fully into the publishing business and launched one + of the most spectacular of all publishing adventures, The Personal + Memoirs of General U. S. Grant. Clemens had not intended to do + general publishing when he arranged with Webster to become sales- + agent for the Mississippi book, and later general agent for Huck + Finn's adventures; he had intended only to handle his own books, + because he was pretty thoroughly dissatisfied with other publishing + arrangements. Even the Library of Humor, which Howells, with Clark, + of the Courant, had put together for him, he left with Osgood until + that publisher failed, during the spring of 1885. Certainly he + never dreamed of undertaking anything of the proportions of the + Grant book. + + He had always believed that Grant could make a book. More than + once, when they had met, he had urged the General to prepare his + memoirs for publication. Howells, in his 'My Mark Twain', tells of + going with Clemens to see Grant, then a member of the ill-fated firm + of Grant and Ward, and how they lunched on beans, bacon and coffee + brought in from a near-by restaurant. It was while they were eating + this soldier fare that Clemens--very likely abetted by Howells-- + especially urged the great commander to prepare his memoirs. But + Grant had become a financier, as he believed, and the prospect of + literary earnings, however large, did not appeal to him. + Furthermore, he was convinced that he was without literary ability + and that a book by him would prove a failure. + + But then, by and by, came a failure more disastrous than anything he + had foreseen--the downfall of his firm through the Napoleonic + rascality of Ward. General Grant was utterly ruined; he was left + without income and apparently without the means of earning one. It + was the period when the great War Series was appeasing in the + Century Magazine. General Grant, hard-pressed, was induced by the + editors to prepare one or more articles, and, finding that he could + write them, became interested in the idea of a book. It is + unnecessary to repeat here the story of how the publication of this + important work passed into the hands of Mark Twain; that is to say, + the firm of Charles L. Webster & Co., the details having been fully + given elsewhere.--[See Mark Twain: A Biography, chap. cliv.]-- + + We will now return for the moment to other matters, as reported in + order by the letters. Clemens and Cable had continued their + reading-tour into Canada, and in February found themselves in + Montreal. Here they were invited by the Toque Bleue Snow-shoe Club + to join in one of their weekly excursions across Mt. Royal. They + could not go, and the reasons given by Mark Twain are not without + interest. The letter is to Mr. George Iles, author of Flame, + Electricity, and the Camera, and many other useful works. + + + To George Iles, far the Toque Blew Snow-shoe Club, + Montreal: + + DETROIT, February 12, 1885. + Midnight, P.S. +MY DEAR ILES,--I got your other telegram a while ago, and answered it, +explaining that I get only a couple of hours in the middle of the day for +social life. I know it doesn't seem rational that a man should have to +lie abed all day in order to be rested and equipped for talking an hour +at night, and yet in my case and Cable's it is so. Unless I get a great +deal of rest, a ghastly dulness settles down upon me on the platform, and +turns my performance into work, and hard work, whereas it ought always to +be pastime, recreation, solid enjoyment. Usually it is just this latter, +but that is because I take my rest faithfully, and prepare myself to do +my duty by my audience. + +I am the obliged and appreciative servant of my brethren of the Snow-shoe +Club, and nothing in the world would delight me more than to come to +their house without naming time or terms on my own part--but you see how +it is. My cast iron duty is to my audience--it leaves me no liberty and +no option. + +With kindest regards to the Club, and to you, + I am Sincerely yours + S. L. CLEMENS. + + In the next letter we reach the end of the Clemens-Cable venture and + get a characteristic summing up of Mark Twain's general attitude + toward the companion of his travels. It must be read only in the + clear realization of Mark Twain's attitude toward orthodoxy, and his + habit of humor. Cable was as rigidly orthodox as Mark Twain was + revolutionary. The two were never anything but the best of friends. + + + To W. D. Howells, in Boston: + + PHILADA. Feb. 27, '85. +MY DEAR HOWELLS,--To-night in Baltimore, to-morrow afternoon and night in +Washington, and my four-months platform campaign is ended at last. It +has been a curious experience. It has taught me that Cable's gifts of +mind are greater and higher than I had suspected. But-- + +That "But" is pointing toward his religion. You will never, never know, +never divine, guess, imagine, how loathsome a thing the Christian +religion can be made until you come to know and study Cable daily and +hourly. Mind you, I like him; he is pleasant company; I rage and swear +at him sometimes, but we do not quarrel; we get along mighty happily +together; but in him and his person I have learned to hate all religions. +He has taught me to abhor and detest the Sabbath-day and hunt up new and +troublesome ways to dishonor it. + +Nat Goodwin was on the train yesterday. He plays in Washington all the +coming week. He is very anxious to get our Sellers play and play it +under changed names. I said the only thing I could do would be to write +to you. Well, I've done it. + Ys Ever + MARK. + + + Clemens and Webster were often at the house of General Grant during + these early days of 1885, and it must have been Webster who was + present with Clemens on the great occasion described in the + following telegram. It was on the last day and hour of President + Arthur's administration that the bill was passed which placed + Ulysses S. Grant as full General with full pay on the retired list, + and it is said that the congressional clock was set back in order + that this enactment might become a law before the administration + changed. General Grant had by this time developed cancer and was + already in feeble health. + + + Telegram to Mrs. Clemens, in Hartford: + + NEW YORK, Mar. 4, 1885. +To MRS. S. L. CLEMENS, We were at General Grant's at noon and a telegram +arrived that the last act of the expiring congress late this morning +retired him with full General's rank and accompanying emoluments. The +effect upon him was like raising the dead. We were present when the +telegram was put in his hand. + + S. L. CLEMENS. + + + Something has been mentioned before of Mark Twain's investments and + the generally unprofitable habit of them. He had a trusting nature, + and was usually willing to invest money on any plausible + recommendation. He was one of thousands such, and being a person of + distinction he now and then received letters of inquiry, complaint, + or condolence. A minister wrote him that he had bought some stocks + recommended by a Hartford banker and advertised in a religious + paper. He added, "After I made that purchase they wrote me that you + had just bought a hundred shares and that you were a 'shrewd' man." + The writer closed by asking for further information. He received + it, as follows: + + + To the Rev. J----, in Baltimore: + + WASHINGTON, Mch. 2,'85. +MY DEAR SIR,--I take my earliest opportunity to answer your favor of Feb. + +B---- was premature in calling me a "shrewd man." I wasn't one at that +time, but am one now--that is, I am at least too shrewd to ever again +invest in anything put on the market by B----. I know nothing whatever +about the Bank Note Co., and never did know anything about it. B---- +sold me about $4,000 or $5,000 worth of the stock at $110, and I own it +yet. He sold me $10,000 worth of another rose-tinted stock about the +same time. I have got that yet, also. I judge that a peculiarity of +B----'s stocks is that they are of the staying kind. I think you should +have asked somebody else whether I was a shrewd man or not for two +reasons: the stock was advertised in a religious paper, a circumstance +which was very suspicious; and the compliment came to you from a man who +was interested to make a purchaser of you. I am afraid you deserve your +loss. A financial scheme advertised in any religious paper is a thing +which any living person ought to know enough to avoid; and when the +factor is added that M. runs that religious paper, a dead person ought to +know enough to avoid it. + Very Truly Yours + S. L. CLEMENS. + + + The story of Huck Finn was having a wide success. Webster handled + it skillfully, and the sales were large. In almost every quarter + its welcome was enthusiastic. Here and there, however, could be + found an exception; Huck's morals were not always approved of by + library reading-committees. The first instance of this kind was + reported from Concord; and would seem not to have depressed the + author-publisher. + + + To Chas. L. Webster, in New York: + + Mch 18, '85. +DEAR CHARLEY,--The Committee of the Public Library of Concord, Mass, have +given us a rattling tip-top puff which will go into every paper in the +country. They have expelled Huck from their library as "trash and +suitable only for the slums." That will sell 25,000 copies for us sure. + + S. L. C. + + + Perhaps the Concord Free Trade Club had some idea of making amends + to Mark Twain for the slight put upon his book by their librarians, + for immediately after the Huck Finn incident they notified him of + his election to honorary membership. + + Those were the days of "authors' readings," and Clemens and Howells + not infrequently assisted at these functions, usually given as + benefits of one kind or another. From the next letter, written + following an entertainment given for the Longfellow memorial, we + gather that Mark Twain's opinion of Howells's reading was steadily + improving. + + + To W. D. Howells, in Boston: + + HARTFORD, May 5, '85. +MY DEAR HOWELLS,--.....Who taught you to read? Observation and thought, +I guess. And practice at the Tavern Club?--yes; and that was the best +teaching of all: + +Well, you sent even your daintiest and most delicate and fleeting points +home to that audience--absolute proof of good reading. But you couldn't +read worth a damn a few years ago. I do not say this to flatter. It is +true I looked around for you when I was leaving, but you had already +gone. + +Alas, Osgood has failed at last. It was easy to see that he was on the +very verge of it a year ago, and it was also easy to see that he was +still on the verge of it a month or two ago; but I continued to hope--but +not expect that he would pull through. The Library of Humor is at his +dwelling house, and he will hand it to you whenever you want it. + +To save it from any possibility of getting mixed up in the failure, +perhaps you had better send down and get it. I told him, the other day, +that an order of any kind from you would be his sufficient warrant for +its delivery to you. + +In two days General Grant has dictated 50 pages of foolscap, and thus the +Wilderness and Appomattox stand for all time in his own words. This +makes the second volume of his book as valuable as the first. + +He looks mighty well, these latter days. + Yrs Ever + MARK. + + + "I am exceedingly glad," wrote Howells, "that you approve of my + reading, for it gives me some hope that I may do something on the + platform next winter..... but I would never read within a hundred + miles of you, if I could help it. You simply straddled down to the + footlights and took that house up in the hollow of your hand and + tickled it." + + + To W. D. Howells, in Boston: + + ELMIRA, July 21, 1885. +MY DEAR HOWELLS,--You are really my only author; I am restricted to you, +I wouldn't give a damn for the rest. + +I bored through Middlemarch during the past week, with its labored and +tedious analyses of feelings and motives, its paltry and tiresome people, +its unexciting and uninteresting story, and its frequent blinding flashes +of single-sentence poetry, philosophy, wit, and what not, and nearly died +from the overwork. I wouldn't read another of those books for a farm. +I did try to read one other--Daniel Deronda. I dragged through three +chapters, losing flesh all the time, and then was honest enough to quit, +and confess to myself that I haven't any romance literature appetite, as +far as I can see, except for your books. + +But what I started to say, was, that I have just read Part II of Indian +Summer, and to my mind there isn't a waste line in it, or one that could +be improved. I read it yesterday, ending with that opinion; and read it +again to-day, ending with the same opinion emphasized. I haven't read +Part I yet, because that number must have reached Hartford after we left; +but we are going to send down town for a copy, and when it comes I am to +read both parts aloud to the family. It is a beautiful story, and makes +a body laugh all the time, and cry inside, and feel so old and so +forlorn; and gives him gracious glimpses of his lost youth that fill him +with a measureless regret, and build up in him a cloudy sense of his +having been a prince, once, in some enchanted far-off land, and of being +an exile now, and desolate--and Lord, no chance ever to get back there +again! That is the thing that hurts. Well, you have done it with +marvelous facility and you make all the motives and feelings perfectly +clear without analyzing the guts out of them, the way George Eliot does. +I can't stand George Eliot and Hawthorne and those people; I see what +they are at a hundred years before they get to it and they just tire me +to death. And as for "The Bostonians," I would rather be damned to John +Bunyan's heaven than read that. + Yrs Ever + MARK + + + It is as easy to understand Mark Twain's enjoyment of Indian Summer + as his revolt against Daniel Deronda and The Bostonians. He cared + little for writing that did not convey its purpose in the simplest + and most direct terms. It is interesting to note that in thanking + Clemens for his compliment Howells wrote: "What people cannot see is + that I analyze as little as possible; they go on talking about the + analytical school, which I am supposed to belong to, and I want to + thank you for using your eyes..... Did you ever read De Foe's + 'Roxana'? If not, then read it, not merely for some of the deepest + insights into the lying, suffering, sinning, well-meaning human + soul, but for the best and most natural English that a book was ever + written in." + + General Grant worked steadily on his book, dictating when he could, + making brief notes on slips of paper when he could no longer speak. + Clemens visited him at Mt. McGregor and brought the dying soldier + the comforting news that enough of his books were already sold to + provide generously for his family, and that the sales would + aggregate at least twice as much by the end of the year. + + This was some time in July. On the 23d of that month General Grant + died. Immediately there was a newspaper discussion as to the most + suitable place for the great chieftain to lie. Mark Twain's + contribution to this debate, though in the form of an open letter, + seems worthy of preservation here. + + + To the New York "Sun," on the proper place for Grant's Tomb: + +To THE EDITOR OP' THE SUN:--SIR,--The newspaper atmosphere is charged +with objections to New York as a place of sepulchre for General Grant, +and the objectors are strenuous that Washington is the right place. They +offer good reasons--good temporary reasons--for both of these positions. + +But it seems to me that temporary reasons are not mete for the occasion. +We need to consider posterity rather than our own generation. We should +select a grave which will not merely be in the right place now, but will +still be in the right place 500 years from now. + +How does Washington promise as to that? You have only to hit it in one +place to kill it. Some day the west will be numerically strong enough to +move the seat of government; her past attempts are a fair warning that +when the day comes she will do it. Then the city of Washington will lose +its consequence and pass out of the public view and public talk. It is +quite within the possibilities that, a century hence, people would wonder +and say, "How did your predecessors come to bury their great dead in this +deserted place?" + +But as long as American civilisation lasts New York will last. I cannot +but think she has been well and wisely chosen as the guardian of a grave +which is destined to become almost the most conspicuous in the world's +history. Twenty centuries from now New York will still be New York, +still a vast city, and the most notable object in it will still be the +tomb and monument of General Grant. + +I observe that the common and strongest objection to New York is that she +is not "national ground." Let us give ourselves no uneasiness about +that. Wherever General Grant's body lies, that is national ground. + + S. L. CLEMENS. +ELMIRA, July 27. + + + The letter that follows is very long, but it seems too important and + too interesting to be omitted in any part. General Grant's early + indulgence in liquors had long been a matter of wide, though not + very definite, knowledge. Every one had heard how Lincoln, on being + told that Grant drank, remarked something to the effect that he + would like to know what kind of whisky Grant used so that he might + get some of it for his other generals. Henry Ward Beecher, selected + to deliver a eulogy on the dead soldier, and doubtless wishing + neither to ignore the matter nor to make too much of it, naturally + turned for information to the publisher of Grant's own memoirs, + hoping from an advance copy to obtain light. + + + To Henry Ward Beecher,.Brooklyn: + + ELMIRA, N. Y. Sept. 11, '85. +MY DEAR MR. BEECHER,--My nephew Webster is in Europe making contracts for +the Memoirs. Before he sailed he came to me with a writing, directed to +the printers and binders, to this effect: + +"Honor no order for a sight or copy of the Memoirs while I am absent, +even though it be signed by Mr. Clemens himself." + +I gave my permission. There were weighty reasons why I should not only +give my permission, but hold it a matter of honor to not dissolve the +order or modify it at any time. So I did all of that--said the order +should stand undisturbed to the end. If a principal could dissolve his +promise as innocently as he can dissolve his written order unguarded by +his promise, I would send you a copy of the Memoirs instantly. I did not +foresee you, or I would have made an exception. + + ........................... + +My idea gained from army men, is that the drunkenness (and sometimes +pretty reckless spreeing, nights,) ceased before he came East to be Lt. +General. (Refer especially to Gen. Wm. B. Franklin--[If you could see +Franklin and talk with him--then he would unbosom,]) It was while Grant +was still in the West that Mr. Lincoln said he wished he could find out +what brand of whisky that fellow used, so he could furnish it to some of +the other generals. Franklin saw Grant tumble from his horse drunk, +while reviewing troops in New Orleans. The fall gave him a good deal of +a hurt. He was then on the point of leaving for the Chattanooga region. +I naturally put "that and that together" when I read Gen. O. O. Howards's +article in the Christian Union, three or four weeks ago--where he +mentions that the new General arrived lame from a recent accident. +(See that article.) And why not write Howard? + +Franklin spoke positively of the frequent spreeing. In camp--in time of +war. + + ......................... + +Captain Grant was frequently threatened by the Commandant of his Oregon +post with a report to the War Department of his conduct unless he +modified his intemperance. The report would mean dismissal from the +service. At last the report had to be made out; and then, so greatly was +the captain beloved, that he was privately informed, and was thus enabled +to rush his resignation to Washington ahead of the report. Did the +report go, nevertheless? I don't know. If it did, it is in the War +Department now, possibly, and seeable. I got all this from a regular +army man, but I can't name him to save me. + +The only time General Grant ever mentioned liquor to me was about last +April or possibly May. He said: + +"If I could only build up my strength! The doctors urge whisky and +champagne; but I can't take them; I can't abide the taste of any kind of +liquor." + +Had he made a conquest so complete that even the taste of liquor was +become an offense? Or was he so sore over what had been said about his +habit that he wanted to persuade others and likewise himself that he +hadn't even ever had any taste for it? It sounded like the latter, but +that's no evidence. + +He told me in the fall of '84 that there was something the matter with +his throat, and that at the suggestion of his physicians he had reduced +his smoking to one cigar a day. Then he added, in a casual fashion, that +he didn't care for that one, and seldom smoked it. + +I could understand that feeling. He had set out to conquer not the habit +but the inclination--the desire. He had gone at the root, not the trunk. +It's the perfect way and the only true way (I speak from experience.) +How I do hate those enemies of the human race who go around enslaving +God's free people with pledges--to quit drinking instead of to quit +wanting to drink. + +But Sherman and Van Vliet know everything concerning Grant; and if you +tell them how you want to use the facts, both of them will testify. +Regular army men have no concealments about each other; and yet they make +their awful statements without shade or color or malice with a frankness +and a child-like naivety, indeed, which is enchanting-and stupefying. +West Point seems to teach them that, among other priceless things not to +be got in any other college in this world. If we talked about our guild- +mates as I have heard Sherman, Grant, Van Vliet and others talk about +theirs--mates with whom they were on the best possible terms--we could +never expect them to speak to us again. + + ....................... + +I am reminded, now, of another matter. The day of the funeral I sat an +hour over a single drink and several cigars with Van Vliet and Sherman +and Senator Sherman.; and among other things Gen. Sherman said, with +impatient scorn: + +"The idea of all this nonsense about Grant not being able to stand rude +language and indelicate stories! Why Grant was full of humor, and full +of the appreciation of it. I have sat with him by the hour listening to +Jim Nye's yarns, and I reckon you know the style of Jim Nye's histories, +Clemens. It makes me sick--that newspaper nonsense. Grant was no namby- +pamby fool, he was a man--all over--rounded and complete." + +I wish I had thought of it! I would have said to General Grant: " Put +the drunkenness in the Memoirs--and the repentance and reform. Trust the +people." + +But I will wager there is not a hint in the book. He was sore, there. +As much of the book as I have read gives no hint, as far as I recollect. + +The sick-room brought out the points of Gen. Grant's character--some of +them particularly, to wit: + +His patience; his indestructible equability of temper; his exceeding +gentleness, kindness, forbearance, lovingness, charity; his loyalty: to +friends, to convictions, to promises, half-promises, infinitesimal +fractions and shadows of promises; (There was a requirement of him which +I considered an atrocity, an injustice, an outrage; I wanted to implore +him to repudiate it; Fred Grant said, "Save your labor, I know him; he is +in doubt as to whether he made that half-promise or not--and, he will +give the thing the benefit of the doubt; he will fulfill that half- +promise or kill himself trying;" Fred Grant was right--he did fulfill +it;) his aggravatingly trustful nature; his genuineness, simplicity, +modesty, diffidence, self-depreciation, poverty in the quality of vanity- +and, in no contradiction of this last, his simple pleasure in the flowers +and general ruck sent to him by Tom, Dick and Harry from everywhere--a +pleasure that suggested a perennial surprise that he should be the object +of so much fine attention--he was the most lovable great child in the +world; (I mentioned his loyalty: you remember Harrison, the colored body- +servant? the whole family hated him, but that did not make any +difference, the General always stood at his back, wouldn't allow him to +be scolded; always excused his failures and deficiencies with the one +unvarying formula, "We are responsible for these things in his race--it +is not fair to visit our fault upon them--let him alone;" so they did let +him alone, under compulsion, until the great heart that was his shield +was taken away; then--well they simply couldn't stand him, and so they +were excusable for determining to discharge him--a thing which they +mortally hated to do, and by lucky accident were saved from the necessity +of doing;) his toughness as a bargainer when doing business for other +people or for his country (witness his "terms" at Donelson, Vicksburg, +etc.; Fred Grant told me his father wound up an estate for the widow and +orphans of a friend in St. Louis--it took several years; at the end every +complication had been straightened out, and the property put upon a +prosperous basis; great sums had passed through his hands, and when he +handed over the papers there were vouchers to show what had been done +with every penny) and his trusting, easy, unexacting fashion when doing +business for himself (at that same time he was paying out money in +driblets to a man who was running his farm for him--and in his first +Presidency he paid every one of those driblets again (total, $3,000 F. +said,) for he hadn't a scrap of paper to show that he had ever paid them +before; in his dealings with me he would not listen to terms which would +place my money at risk and leave him protected--the thought plainly gave +him pain, and he put it from him, waved it off with his hands, as one +does accounts of crushings and mutilations--wouldn't listen, changed the +subject;) and his fortitude! He was under, sentence of death last +spring; he sat thinking, musing, several days--nobody knows what about; +then he pulled himself together and set to work to finish that book, +a colossal task for a dying man. Presently his hand gave out; fate +seemed to have got him checkmated. Dictation was suggested. No, he +never could do that; had never tried it; too old to learn, now. By and +by--if he could only do Appomattox-well. So he sent for a stenographer, +and dictated 9,000 words at a single sitting!--never pausing, never +hesitating for a word, never repeating--and in the written-out copy he +made hardly a correction. He dictated again, every two or three days-- +the intervals were intervals of exhaustion and slow recuperation--and at +last he was able to tell me that he had written more matter than could be +got into the book. I then enlarged the book--had to. Then he lost his +voice. He was not quite done yet, however:--there was no end of little +plums and spices to be stuck in, here and there; and this work he +patiently continued, a few lines a day, with pad and pencil, till far +into July, at Mt. McGregor. One day he put his pencil aside, and said +he was done--there was nothing more to do. If I had been there I could +have foretold the shock that struck the world three days later. + +Well, I've written all this, and it doesn't seem to amount to anything. +But I do want to help, if I only could. I will enclose some scraps from +my Autobiography--scraps about General Grant--they may be of some trifle +of use, and they may not--they at least verify known traits of his +character. My Autobiography is pretty freely dictated, but my idea is to +jack-plane it a little before I die, some day or other; I mean the rude +construction and rotten grammar. It is the only dictating I ever did, +and it was most troublesome and awkward work. You may return it to +Hartford. + Sincerely Yours + S. L. CLEMENS. + + + The old long-deferred Library of Humor came up again for discussion, + when in the fall of 1885 Howells associated himself with Harper & + Brothers. Howells's contract provided that his name was not to + appear on any book not published by the Harper firm. He wrote, + therefore, offering to sell out his interest in the enterprise for + two thousand dollars, in addition to the five hundred which he had + already received--an amount considered to be less than he was to + have received as joint author and compiler. Mark Twain's answer + pretty fully covers the details of this undertaking. + + + To W. D. Howells, in Boston: + + HARTFORD, Oct. 18, 1885. +Private. + +MY DEAR HOWELLS,--I reckon it would ruin the book that is, make it +necessary to pigeon-hole it and leave it unpublished. I couldn't publish +it without a very responsible name to support my own on the title page, +because it has so much of my own matter in it. I bought Osgood's rights +for $3,000 cash, I have paid Clark $800 and owe him $700 more, which must +of course be paid whether I publish or not. Yet I fully recognize that I +have no sort of moral right to let that ancient and procrastinated +contract hamper you in any way, and I most certainly won't. So, it is my +decision,--after thinking over and rejecting the idea of trying to buy +permission of the Harpers for $2,500 to use your name, (a proposition +which they would hate to refuse to a man in a perplexed position, and yet +would naturally have to refuse it,) to pigeon-hole the "Library": not +destroy it, but merely pigeon-hole it and wait a few years and see what +new notion Providence will take concerning it. He will not desert us +now, after putting in four licks to our one on this book all this time. +It really seems in a sense discourteous not to call it "Providence's +Library of Humor." + +Now that deal is all settled, the next question is, do you need and must +you require that $2,000 now? Since last March, you know, I am carrying a +mighty load, solitary and alone--General Grant's book--and must carry it +till the first volume is 30 days old (Jan. 1st) before the relief money +will begin to flow in. From now till the first of January every dollar +is as valuable to me as it could be to a famishing tramp. If you can +wait till then--I mean without discomfort, without inconvenience--it will +be a large accommodation to me; but I will not allow you to do this favor +if it will discommode you. So, speak right out, frankly, and if you need +the money I will go out on the highway and get it, using violence, if +necessary. + +Mind, I am not in financial difficulties, and am not going to be. I am +merely a starving beggar standing outside the door of plenty--obstructed +by a Yale time-lock which is set for Jan. 1st. I can stand it, and stand +it perfectly well; but the days do seem to fool along considerable slower +than they used to. + +I am mighty glad you are with the Harpers. I have noticed that good men +in their employ go there to stay. + Yours ever, + MARK. + + + In the next letter we begin to get some idea of the size of Mark + Twain's first publishing venture, and a brief summary of results may + not be out of place here. + + The Grant Life was issued in two volumes. In the early months of + the year when the agents' canvass was just beginning, Mark Twain, + with what seems now almost clairvoyant vision, prophesied a sale of + three hundred thousand sets. The actual sales ran somewhat more + than this number. On February 27, 1886, Charles L. Webster & Co. + paid to Mrs. Grant the largest single royalty check in the history + of book-publishing. The amount of it was two hundred thousand + dollars. Subsequent checks increased the aggregate return to + considerably more than double this figure. In a memorandum made by + Clemens in the midst of the canvass he wrote." + + "During 100 consecutive days the sales (i. e., subscriptions) of + General Grant's book averaged 3,000 sets (6,000 single volumes) per + day: Roughly stated, Mrs. Grant's income during all that time was + $5,000 a day." + + + To W. D. Howells, in Boston: + + HOTEL NORMANDIE + NEW YORK, Dec. 2, '85. +MY DEAR HOWELLS,-- I told Webster, this afternoon, to send you that +$2,000; but he is in such a rush, these first days of publication, that +he may possibly forget it; so I write lest I forget it too. Remind me, +if he should forget. When I postponed you lately, I did it because I +thought I should be cramped for money until January, but that has turned +out to be an error, so I hasten to cut short the postponement. + +I judge by the newspapers that you are in Auburndale, but I don't know it +officially. + +I've got the first volume launched safely; consequently, half of the +suspense is over, and I am that much nearer the goal. We've bound and +shipped 200,000 books; and by the 10th shall finish and ship the +remaining 125,000 of the first edition. I got nervous and came down to +help hump-up the binderies; and I mean to stay here pretty much all the +time till the first days of March, when the second volume will issue. +Shan't have so much trouble, this time, though, if we get to press pretty +soon, because we can get more binderies then than are to be had in front +of the holidays. One lives and learns. I find it takes 7 binderies four +months to bind 325,000 books. + +This is a good book to publish. I heard a canvasser say, yesterday, that +while delivering eleven books he took 7 new subscriptions. But we shall +be in a hell of a fix if that goes on--it will "ball up" the binderies +again. + Yrs ever + MARK. + + + November 30th that year was Mark Twain's fiftieth birthday, an event + noticed by the newspapers generally, and especially observed by many + of his friends. Warner, Stockton and many others sent letters; + Andrew Lang contributed a fine poem; also Oliver Wendell. Holmes-- + the latter by special request of Miss Gilder--for the Critic. These + attentions came as a sort of crowning happiness at the end of a + golden year. At no time in his life were Mark Twain's fortunes and + prospects brighter; he had a beautiful family and a perfect home. + Also, he had great prosperity. The reading-tour with Cable had been + a fine success. His latest book, The Adventures of Huckleberry + Finn, had added largely to his fame and income. The publication of + the Grant Memoirs had been a dazzling triumph. Mark Twain had + become recognized, not only as America's most distinguished author, + but as its most envied publisher. And now, with his fiftieth + birthday, had come this laurel from Holmes, last of the Brahmins, to + add a touch of glory to all the rest. We feel his exaltation in his + note of acknowledgment. + + + To Dr. Oliver Wendell Holmes, in Boston: + +DEAR MR. HOLMES,--I shall never be able to tell you the half of how proud +you have made me. If I could you would say you were nearly paid for the +trouble you took. And then the family: If I can convey the electrical +surprise and gratitude and exaltation of the wife and the children last +night, when they happened upon that Critic where I had, with artful +artlessness, spread it open and retired out of view to see what would +happen--well, it was great and fine and beautiful to see, and made me +feel as the victor feels when the shouting hosts march by; and if you +also could have seen it you would have said the account was squared. For +I have brought them up in your company, as in the company of a warm and +friendly and beneficent but far-distant sun; and so, for you to do this +thing was for the sun to send down out of the skies the miracle of a +special ray and transfigure me before their faces. I knew what that poem +would be to them; I knew it would raise me up to remote and shining +heights in their eyes, to very fellowship with the chambered Nautilus +itself, and that from that fellowship they could never more dissociate me +while they should live; and so I made sure to be by when the surprise +should come. + +Charles Dudley Warner is charmed with the poem for its own felicitous +sake; and so indeed am I, but more because it has drawn the sting of my +fiftieth year; taken away the pain of it, the grief of it, the somehow +shame of it, and made me glad and proud it happened. + +With reverence and affection, + Sincerely yours, + S. L. CLEMENS. + + + Holmes wrote with his own hand: "Did Miss Gilder tell you I had + twenty-three letters spread out for answer when her suggestion came + about your anniversary? I stopped my correspondence and made my + letters wait until the lines were done." + + + + + +End of this Project Gutenberg Etext of Letters Vol. 3, by Mark Twain + diff --git a/old/mt3lt10.zip b/old/mt3lt10.zip Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..6e93aad --- /dev/null +++ b/old/mt3lt10.zip diff --git a/old/mt3lt11.txt b/old/mt3lt11.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..eb3faa5 --- /dev/null +++ b/old/mt3lt11.txt @@ -0,0 +1,7414 @@ +The Project Gutenberg Etext of The Letters of Mark Twain, Vol. 3 +#56 in our series by Mark Twain (Samuel Clemens) + +Copyright laws are changing all over the world. Be sure to check the +copyright laws for your country before distributing this or any other +Project Gutenberg file. + +We encourage you to keep this file, exactly as it is, on your +own disk, thereby keeping an electronic path open for future +readers. Please do not remove this. + +This header should be the first thing seen when anyone starts to +view the etext. 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Hart +and may be reprinted only when these Etexts are free of all fees.] +[Project Gutenberg is a TradeMark and may not be used in any sales +of Project Gutenberg Etexts or other materials be they hardware or +software or any other related product without express permission.] + +*END THE SMALL PRINT! FOR PUBLIC DOMAIN ETEXTS*Ver.10/04/01*END* + + + + + +This etext was produced by David Widger <widger@cecomet.net> + + + + + +MARK TWAIN'S LETTERS 1876-1885 + +ARRANGED WITH COMMENT BY ALBERT BIGELOW PAINE + + + +VOLUME III. + + +XVI. + +LETTERS, 1876, CHIEFLY TO W. D. HOWELLS. LITERATURE AND POLITICS. +PLANNING A PLAY WITH BRET HARTE + + The Monday Evening Club of Hartford was an association of most of + the literary talent of that city, and it included a number of very + distinguished members. The writers, the editors, the lawyers, and + the ministers of the gospel who composed it were more often than not + men of national or international distinction. There was but one + paper at each meeting, and it was likely to be a paper that would + later find its way into some magazine. + + Naturally Mark Twain was one of its favorite members, and his + contributions never failed to arouse interest and discussion. A + "Mark Twain night" brought out every member. In the next letter we + find the first mention of one of his most memorable contributions--a + story of one of life's moral aspects. The tale, now included in his + collected works, is, for some reason, little read to-day; yet the + curious allegory, so vivid in its seeming reality, is well worth + consideration. + + + To W. D. Howells, in Boston: + + HARTFORD, Jan. 11, '76. +MY DEAR HOWELLS,--Indeed we haven't forgotten the Howellses, nor scored +up a grudge of any kind against them; but the fact is I was under the +doctor's hands for four weeks on a stretch and have been disabled from +working for a week or so beside. I thought I was well, about ten days +ago, so I sent for a short-hand writer and dictated answers to a bushel +or so of letters that had been accumulating during my illness. Getting +everything shipshape and cleared up, I went to work next day upon an +Atlantic article, which ought to be worth $20 per page (which is the +price they usually pay for my work, I believe) for although it is only 70 +pages MS (less than two days work, counting by bulk,) I have spent 3 more +days trimming, altering and working at it. I shall put in one more day's +polishing on it, and then read it before our Club, which is to meet at +our house Monday evening, the 24th inst. I think it will bring out +considerable discussion among the gentlemen of the Club--though the title +of the article will not give them much notion of what is to follow,--this +title being "The Facts Concerning the Recent Carnival of Crime in +Connecticut"--which reminds me that today's Tribune says there will be a +startling article in the current Atlantic, in which a being which is +tangible bud invisible will figure-exactly the case with the sketch of +mine which I am talking about! However, mine can lie unpublished a year +or two as well as not--though I wish that contributor of yours had not +interfered with his coincidence of heroes. + +But what I am coming at, is this: won't you and Mrs. Howells come down +Saturday the 22nd and remain to the Club on Monday night? We always have +a rattling good time at the Club and we do want you to come, ever so +much. Will you? Now say you will. Mrs. Clemens and I are persuading +ourselves that you twain will come. + +My volume of sketches is doing very well, considering the times; received +my quarterly statement today from Bliss, by which I perceive that 20,000 +copies have been sold--or rather, 20,000 had been sold 3 weeks ago; a lot +more, by this time, no doubt. + +I am on the sick list again--and was, day before yesterday--but on the +whole I am getting along. + Yrs ever + MARK + + + Howells wrote that he could not come down to the club meeting, + adding that sickness was "quite out of character" for Mark Twain, + and hardly fair on a man who had made so many other people feel + well. He closed by urging that Bliss "hurry out" 'Tom Sawyer.' + "That boy is going to make a prodigious hit." Clemens answered: + + + To W. D. Howells, in Boston. + + HARTFORD, Jan. 18, '76. +MY DEAR HOWELLS,--Thanks, and ever so many, for the good opinion of 'Tom +Sawyer.' Williams has made about 300 rattling pictures for it--some of +them very dainty. Poor devil, what a genius he has and how he does +murder it with rum. He takes a book of mine, and without suggestion from +anybody builds no end of pictures just from his reading of it. + +There was never a man in the world so grateful to another as I was to you +day before yesterday, when I sat down (in still rather wretched health) +to set myself to the dreary and hateful task of making final revision of +Tom Sawyer, and discovered, upon opening the package of MS that your +pencil marks were scattered all along. This was splendid, and swept away +all labor. Instead of reading the MS, I simply hunted out the pencil +marks and made the emendations which they suggested. I reduced the boy +battle to a curt paragraph; I finally concluded to cut the Sunday school +speech down to the first two sentences, leaving no suggestion of satire, +since the book is to be for boys and girls; I tamed the various +obscenities until I judged that they no longer carried offense. So, at a +single sitting I began and finished a revision which I had supposed would +occupy 3 or 4. days and leave me mentally and physically fagged out at +the end. I was careful not to inflict the MS upon you until I had +thoroughly and painstakingly revised it. Therefore, the only faults left +were those that would discover themselves to others, not me--and these +you had pointed out. + +There was one expression which perhaps you overlooked. When Huck is +complaining to Tom of the rigorous system in vogue at the widow's, he +says the servants harass him with all manner of compulsory decencies, and +he winds up by saying: "and they comb me all to hell." (No exclamation +point.) Long ago, when I read that to Mrs. Clemens, she made no comment; +another time I created occasion to read that chapter to her aunt and her +mother (both sensitive and loyal subjects of the kingdom of heaven, so to +speak) and they let it pass. I was glad, for it was the most natural +remark in the world for that boy to make (and he had been allowed few +privileges of speech in the book;) when I saw that you, too, had let it +go without protest, I was glad, and afraid; too--afraid you hadn't +observed it. Did you? And did you question the propriety of it? Since +the book is now professedly and confessedly a boy's and girl's hook, that +darn word bothers me some, nights, but it never did until I had ceased to +regard the volume as being for adults. + +Don't bother to answer now, (for you've writing enough to do without +allowing me to add to the burden,) but tell me when you see me again! + +Which we do hope will be next Saturday or Sunday or Monday. Couldn't you +come now and mull over the alterations which you are going to make in +your MS, and make them after you go back? Wouldn't it assist the work if +you dropped out of harness and routine for a day or two and have that +sort of revivification which comes of a holiday-forgetfulness of the +work-shop? I can always work after I've been to your house; and if you +will come to mine, now, and hear the club toot their various horns over +the exasperating metaphysical question which I mean to lay before them in +the disguise of a literary extravaganza, it would just brace you up like +a cordial. + +(I feel sort of mean trying to persuade a man to put down a critical +piece of work at a critical time, but yet I am honest in thinking it +would not hurt the work nor impair your interest in it to come under the +circumstances.) Mrs. Clemens says, "Maybe the Howellses could come Monday +if they cannot come Saturday; ask them; it is worth trying." Well, how's +that? Could you? It would be splendid if you could. Drop me a postal +card--I should have a twinge of conscience if I forced you to write a +letter, (I am honest about that,)--and if you find you can't make out to +come, tell me that you bodies will come the next Saturday if the thing is +possible, and stay over Sunday. + Yrs ever + MARK. + + + Howells, however, did not come to the club meeting, but promised to + come soon when they could have a quiet time to themselves together. + As to Huck's language, he declared: + + "I'd have that swearing out in an instant. I suppose I didn't + notice it because the locution was so familiar to my Western sense, + and so exactly the thing that Huck would say." Clemens changed the + phrase to, "They comb me all to thunder," and so it stands to-day. + + The "Carnival of Crime," having served its purpose at the club, + found quick acceptance by Howells for the Atlantic. He was so + pleased with it, in fact, that somewhat later he wrote, urging that + its author allow it to be printed in a dainty book, by Osgood, who + made a specialty of fine publishing. Meantime Howells had written + his Atlantic notice of Tom Sawyer, and now inclosed Clemens a proof + of it. We may judge from the reply that it was satisfactory. + + + To W. D. Howells, in Boston: + + Apl 3, '76. +MY DEAR HOWELLS,--It is a splendid notice and will embolden weak-kneed +journalistic admirers to speak out, and will modify or shut up the +unfriendly. To "fear God and dread the Sunday school" exactly described +that old feeling which I used to have, but I couldn't have formulated it. +I want to enclose one of the illustrations in this letter, if I do not +forget it. Of course the book is to be elaborately illustrated, and I +think that many of the pictures are considerably above the American +average, in conception if not in execution. + +I do not re-enclose your review to you, for you have evidently read and +corrected it, and so I judge you do not need it. About two days after +the Atlantic issues I mean to begin to send books to principal journals +and magazines. + +I read the "Carnival of Crime" proof in New York when worn and witless +and so left some things unamended which I might possibly have altered had +I been at home. For instance, "I shall always address you in your own +S-n-i-v-e-l-i-n-g d-r-a-w-l, baby." I saw that you objected to something +there, but I did not understand what! Was it that it was too personal? +Should the language be altered?--or the hyphens taken out? Won't you +please fix it the way it ought to be, altering the language as you +choose, only making it bitter and contemptuous? + +"Deuced" was not strong enough; so I met you halfway with "devilish." + +Mrs. Clemens has returned from New York with dreadful sore throat, and +bones racked with rheumatism. She keeps her bed. "Aloha nui!" as the +Kanakas say. + MARK. + + + Henry Irving once said to Mark Twain: "You made a mistake by not + adopting the stage as a profession. You would have made even a + greater actor than a writer." + + Mark Twain would have made an actor, certainly, but not a very + tractable one. His appearance in Hartford in "The Loan of a Lover" + was a distinguished event, and his success complete, though he made + so many extemporaneous improvements on the lines of thick-headed + Peter Spuyk, that he kept the other actors guessing as to their + cues, and nearly broke up the performance. It was, of course, an + amateur benefit, though Augustin Daly promptly wrote, offering to + put it on for a long run. + + The "skeleton novelette" mentioned in the next letter refers to a + plan concocted by Howells and Clemens, by which each of twelve + authors was to write a story, using the same plot, "blindfolded" as + to what the others had written. It was a regular "Mark Twain" + notion, and it is hard to-day to imagine Howells's continued + enthusiasm in it. Neither he nor Clemens gave up the idea for a + long time. It appears in their letters again and again, though + perhaps it was just as well for literature that it was never carried + out. + + + To W. D. Howells, in Boston: + + Apl. 22, 1876. +MY DEAR HOWELLS, You'll see per enclosed slip that I appear for the first +time on the stage next Wednesday. You and Mrs. H. come down and you +shall skip in free. + +I wrote my skeleton novelette yesterday and today. It will make a little +under 12 pages. + +Please tell Aldrich I've got a photographer engaged, and tri-weekly issue +is about to begin. Show him the canvassing specimens and beseech him to +subscribe. + Ever yours, + S. L. C. + + + In his next letter Mark Twain explains why Tom Sawyer is not to + appear as soon as planned. The reference to "The Literary + Nightmare" refers to the "Punch, Conductor, Punch with Care" sketch, + which had recently appeared in the Atlantic. Many other versifiers + had had their turn at horse-car poetry, and now a publisher was + anxious to collect it in a book, provided he could use the Atlantic + sketch. Clemens does not tell us here the nature of Carlton's + insult, forgiveness of which he was not yet qualified to grant, but + there are at least two stories about it, or two halves of the same + incident, as related afterward by Clemens and Canton. Clemens said + that when he took the Jumping Frog book to Carlton, in 1867, the + latter, pointing to his stock, said, rather scornfully: "Books? + I don't want your book; my shelves are full of books now," though + the reader may remember that it was Carlton himself who had given + the frog story to the Saturday Press and had seen it become famous. + Carlton's half of the story was that he did not accept Mark Twain's + book because the author looked so disreputable. Long afterward, + when the two men met in Europe, the publisher said to the now rich + and famous author: "Mr. Clemens, my one claim on immortality is that + I declined your first book." + + + To W. D. Howells, in Boston: + + HARTFORD, Apl. 25, 1876 +MY DEAR HOWELLS,--Thanks for giving me the place of honor. + +Bliss made a failure in the matter of getting Tom Sawyer ready on time-- +the engravers assisting, as usual. I went down to see how much of a +delay there was going to be, and found that the man had not even put a +canvasser on, or issued an advertisement yet--in fact, that the +electrotypes would not all be done for a month! But of course the main +fact was that no canvassing had been done--because a subscription harvest +is before publication, (not after, when people have discovered how bad +one's book is.) + +Well, yesterday I put in the Courant an editorial paragraph stating that +Tam Sawyer is "ready to issue, but publication is put off in order to +secure English copyright by simultaneous publication there and here. The +English edition is unavoidably delayed." + +You see, part of that is true. Very well. When I observed that my +"Sketches" had dropped from a sale of 6 or 7000 a month down to 1200 a +month, I said "this ain't no time to be publishing books; therefore, let +Tom lie still till Autumn, Mr. Bliss, and make a holiday book of him to +beguile the young people withal." + +I shall print items occasionally, still further delaying Tom, till I ease +him down to Autumn without shock to the waiting world. + +As to that "Literary Nightmare" proposition. I'm obliged to withhold +consent, for what seems a good reason--to wit: A single page of horse-car +poetry is all that the average reader can stand, without nausea; now, to +stack together all of it that has been written, and then add it to my +article would be to enrage and disgust each and every reader and win the +deathless enmity of the lot. + +Even if that reason were insufficient, there would still be a sufficient +reason left, in the fact that Mr. Carlton seems to be the publisher of +the magazine in which it is proposed to publish this horse-car matter. +Carlton insulted me in Feb. 1867, and so when the day arrives that sees +me doing him a civility I shall feel that I am ready for Paradise, since +my list of possible and impossible forgivenesses will then be complete. + +Mrs. Clemens says my version of the blindfold novelette "A Murder and A +Marriage" is "good." Pretty strong language--for her. + +The Fieldses are coming down to the play tomorrow, and they promise to +get you and Mrs. Howells to come too, but I hope you'll do nothing of the +kind if it will inconvenience you, for I'm not going to play either +strikingly bad enough or well enough to make the journey pay you. + +My wife and I think of going to Boston May 7th to see Anna Dickinson's +debut on the 8th. If I find we can go, I'll try to get a stage box and +then you and Mrs. Howells must come to Parker's and go with us to the +crucifixion. + +(Is that spelt right?--somehow it doesn't look right.) + +With our very kindest regards to the whole family. + Yrs ever, + MARK. + + + The mention of Anna Dickinson, at the end of this letter, recalls a + prominent reformer and lecturer of the Civil War period. She had + begun her crusades against temperance and slavery in 1857, when she + was but fifteen years old, when her success as a speaker had been + immediate and extraordinary. Now, in this later period, at the age + of thirty-four, she aspired to the stage--unfortunately for her, as + her gifts lay elsewhere. Clemens and Howells knew Miss Dickinson, + and were anxious for the success which they hardly dared hope for. + Clemens arranged a box party. + + + To W. D. Howells, in Boston: + + May 4, '76. +MY DEAR HOWELLS,--I shall reach Boston on Monday the 8th, either at +4:30 p.m. or 6 p.m. (Which is best?) and go straight to Parker's. +If you and Mrs. Howells cannot be there by half past 4, I'll not plan to +arrive till the later train-time (6,) because I don't want to be there +alone--even a minute. Still, Joe Twichell will doubtless go with me +(forgot that,) he is going to try hard to. Mrs. Clemens has given up +going, because Susy is just recovering from about the savagest assault of +diphtheria a child ever did recover from, and therefore will not be +entirely her healthy self again by the 8th. + +Would you and Mrs. Howells like to invite Mr. and Mrs. Aldrich? I have +a large proscenium box--plenty of room. Use your own pleasure about it +--I mainly (that is honest,) suggest it because I am seeking to make +matters pleasant for you and Mrs. Howells. I invited Twichell because I +thought I knew you'd like that. I want you to fix it so that you and the +Madam can remain in Boston all night; for I leave next day and we can't +have a talk, otherwise. I am going to get two rooms and a parlor; and +would like to know what you decide about the Aldriches, so as to know +whether to apply for an additional bedroom or not. + +Don't dine that evening, for I shall arrive dinnerless and need your +help. + +I'll bring my Blindfold Novelette, but shan't exhibit it unless you +exhibit yours. You would simply go to work and write a novelette that +would make mine sick. Because you would know all about where my weak +points lay. No, Sir, I'm one of these old wary birds! + +Don't bother to write a letter--3 lines on a postal card is all that I +can permit from a busy man. + Yrs ever + MARK. + +P. S. Good! You'll not have to feel any call to mention that debut in +the Atlantic--they've made me pay the grand cash for my box!--a thing +which most managers would be too worldly-wise to do, with journalistic +folks. But I'm most honestly glad, for I'd rather pay three prices, any +time, than to have my tongue half paralyzed with a dead-head ticket. + +Hang that Anna Dickinson, a body can never depend upon her debuts! She +has made five or six false starts already. If she fails to debut this +time, I will never bet on her again. + + + In his book, My Mark Twain, Howells refers to the "tragedy" of Miss + Dickinson's appearance. She was the author of numerous plays, some + of which were successful, but her career as an actress was never + brilliant. + + At Elmira that summer the Clemenses heard from their good friend + Doctor Brown, of Edinburgh, and sent eager replies. + + + To Dr. John Brown, in Edinburgh: + + ELMIRA, NEW YORK, U. S. June 22, 1876. +DEAR FRIEND THE DOCTOR,--It was a perfect delight to see the well-known +handwriting again! But we so grieve to know that you are feeling +miserable. It must not last--it cannot last. The regal summer is come +and it will smile you into high good cheer; it will charm away your +pains, it will banish your distresses. I wish you were here, to spend +the summer with us. We are perched on a hill-top that overlooks a little +world of green valleys, shining rivers, sumptuous forests and billowy +uplands veiled in the haze of distance. We have no neighbors. It is the +quietest of all quiet places, and we are hermits that eschew caves and +live in the sun. Doctor, if you'd only come! + +I will carry your letter to Mrs. C. now, and there will be a glad woman, +I tell you! And she shall find one of those pictures to put in this for +Mrs. Barclays and if there isn't one here we'll send right away to +Hartford and get one. Come over, Doctor John, and bring the Barclays, +the Nicolsons and the Browns, one and all! + Affectionately, + SAML. L. CLEMENS. + + + From May until August no letters appear to have passed between + Clemens and Howells; the latter finally wrote, complaining of the + lack of news. He was in the midst of campaign activities, he said, + writing a life of Hayes, and gaily added: "You know I wrote the life + of Lincoln, which elected him." He further reported a comedy he had + completed, and gave Clemens a general stirring up as to his own + work. + + Mark Twain, in his hillside study, was busy enough. Summer was his + time for work, and he had tried his hand in various directions. His + mention of Huck Finn in his reply to Howells is interesting, in that + it shows the measure of his enthusiasm, or lack of it, as a gauge of + his ultimate achievement + + + To W. D. Howells, in Boston: + + ELMIRA, Aug. 9, 1876. +MY DEAR HOWELLS,--I was just about to write you when your letter came-- +and not one of those obscene postal cards, either, but reverently, upon +paper. + +I shall read that biography, though the letter of acceptance was amply +sufficient to corral my vote without any further knowledge of the man. +Which reminds me that a campaign club in Jersey City wrote a few days ago +and invited me to be present at the raising of a Tilden and Hendricks +flag there, and to take the stand and give them some "counsel." Well, I +could not go, but gave them counsel and advice by letter, and in the +kindliest terms as to the raising of the flag--advised them "not to raise +it." + +Get your book out quick, for this is a momentous time. If Tilden is +elected I think the entire country will go pretty straight to--Mrs. +Howells's bad place. + +I am infringing on your patent--I started a record of our children's +sayings, last night. Which reminds me that last week I sent down and got +Susie a vast pair of shoes of a most villainous pattern, for I discovered +that her feet were being twisted and cramped out of shape by a smaller +and prettier article. She did not complain, but looked degraded and +injured. At night her mamma gave her the usual admonition when she was +about to say her prayers--to wit: + +"Now, Susie--think about God." + +"Mamma, I can't, with those shoes." + +The farm is perfectly delightful this season. It is as quiet and +peaceful as a South Sea Island. Some of the sunsets which we have +witnessed from this commanding eminence were marvelous. One evening a +rainbow spanned an entire range of hills with its mighty arch, and from a +black hub resting upon the hill-top in the exact centre, black rays +diverged upward in perfect regularity to the rainbow's arch and created a +very strongly defined and altogether the most majestic, magnificent and +startling half-sunk wagon wheel you can imagine. After that, a world of +tumbling and prodigious clouds came drifting up out of the West and took +to themselves a wonderfully rich and brilliant green color--the decided +green of new spring foliage. Close by them we saw the intense blue of +the skies, through rents in the cloud-rack, and away off in another +quarter were drifting clouds of a delicate pink color. In one place hung +a pall of dense black clouds, like compacted pitch-smoke. And the +stupendous wagon wheel was still in the supremacy of its unspeakable +grandeur. So you see, the colors present in the sky at once and the same +time were blue, green, pink, black, and the vari-colored splendors of the +rainbow. All strong and decided colors, too. I don't know whether this +weird and astounding spectacle most suggested heaven, or hell. The +wonder, with its constant, stately, and always surprising changes, lasted +upwards of two hours, and we all stood on the top of the hill by my study +till the final miracle was complete and the greatest day ended that we +ever saw. + +Our farmer, who is a grave man, watched that spectacle to the end, and +then observed that it was "dam funny." + +The double-barreled novel lies torpid. I found I could not go on with +it. The chapters I had written were still too new and familiar to me. +I may take it up next winter, but cannot tell yet; I waited and waited to +see if my interest in it would not revive, but gave it up a month ago and +began another boys' book--more to be at work than anything else. I have +written 400 pages on it--therefore it is very nearly half done. It is +Huck Finn's Autobiography. I like it only tolerably well, as far as I +have got, and may possibly pigeonhole or burn the MS when it is done. + +So the comedy is done, and with a "fair degree of satisfaction." That +rejoices me, and makes me mad, too--for I can't plan a comedy, and what +have you done that God should be so good to you? I have racked myself +baldheaded trying to plan a comedy harness for some promising characters +of mine to work in, and had to give it up. It is a noble lot of blooded +stock and worth no end of money, but they must stand in the stable and be +profitless. I want to be present when the comedy is produced and help +enjoy the success. + +Warner's book is mighty readable, I think. + Love to yez. + Yrs ever + MARK + + + Howells promptly wrote again, urging him to enter the campaign for + Hayes. "There is not another man in this country," he said, "who + could help him so much as you." The "farce" which Clemens refers to + in his reply, was "The Parlor Car," which seems to have been about + the first venture of Howells in that field. + + + To W. D. Howells, in Boston: + + ELMIRA, August 23, 1876. +MY DEAR HOWELLS,--I am glad you think I could do Hayes any good, for I +have been wanting to write a letter or make a speech to that end. I'll +be careful not to do either, however, until the opportunity comes in a +natural, justifiable and unlugged way; and shall not then do anything +unless I've got it all digested and worded just right. In which case I +might do some good--in any other I should do harm. When a humorist +ventures upon the grave concerns of life he must do his job better than +another man or he works harm to his cause. + +The farce is wonderfully bright and delicious, and must make a hit. You +read it to me, and it was mighty good; I read it last night and it was +better; I read it aloud to the household this morning and it was better +than ever. So it would be worth going a long way to see it well played; +for without any question an actor of genius always adds a subtle +something to any man's work that none but the writer knew was there +before. Even if he knew it. I have heard of readers convulsing +audiences with my "Aurelia's Unfortunate Young Man." If there is +anything really funny in the piece, the author is not aware of it. + +All right--advertise me for the new volume. I send you herewith a sketch +which will make 3 pages of the Atlantic. If you like it and accept it, +you should get it into the December No. because I shall read it in public +in Boston the 13th and 14th of Nov. If it went in a month earlier it +would be too old for me to read except as old matter; and if it went in a +month later it would be too old for the Atlantic--do you see? And if you +wish to use it, will you set it up now, and send me three proofs?--one +to correct for Atlantic, one to send to Temple Bar (shall I tell them to +use it not earlier than their November No. and one to use in practising +for my Boston readings. + +We must get up a less elaborate and a much better skeleton-plan for the +Blindfold Novels and make a success of that idea. David Gray spent +Sunday here and said we could but little comprehend what a rattling stir +that thing would make in the country. He thought it would make a mighty +strike. So do I. But with only 8 pages to tell the tale in, the plot +must be less elaborate, doubtless. What do you think? + +When we exchange visits I'll show you an unfinished sketch of Elizabeth's +time which shook David Gray's system up pretty exhaustively. + Yrs ever, + MARK. + + + The MS. sketch mentioned in the foregoing letter was "The + Canvasser's Tale," later included in the volume, Tom Sawyer Abroad, + and Other Stories. It is far from being Mark Twain's best work, but + was accepted and printed in the Atlantic. David Gray was an able + journalist and editor whom Mark Twain had known in Buffalo. + + The "sketch of Elizabeth's time" is a brilliant piece of writing + --an imaginary record of conversation and court manners in the good + old days of free speech and performance, phrased in the language of + the period. Gray, John Hay, Twichell, and others who had a chance + to see it thought highly of it, and Hay had it set in type and a few + proofs taken for private circulation. Some years afterward a West + Point officer had a special font of antique type made for it, and + printed a hundred copies. But the present-day reader would hardly + be willing to include "Fireside Conversation in the Time of Queen + Elizabeth" in Mark Twain's collected works. + + Clemens was a strong Republican in those days, as his letters of + this period show. His mention of the "caves" in the next is another + reference to "The Canvasser's Tale." + + + To W. D. Howells, in Boston: + + Sept. 14, 1876. +MY DEAR HOWELLS,--Yes, the collection of caves was the origin of it. +I changed it to echoes because these being invisible and intangible, +constituted a still more absurd species of property, and yet a man could +really own an echo, and sell it, too, for a high figure--such an echo as +that at the Villa Siminetti, two miles from Milan, for instance. +My first purpose was to have the man make a collection of caves and +afterwards of echoes; but perceived that the element of absurdity and +impracticability was so nearly identical as to amount to a repetition of +an idea..... + +I will not, and do not, believe that there is a possibility of Hayes's +defeat, but I want the victory to be sweeping..... + +It seems odd to find myself interested in an election. I never was +before. And I can't seem to get over my repugnance to reading or +thinking about politics, yet. But in truth I care little about any +party's politics--the man behind it is the important thing. + +You may well know that Mrs. Clemens liked the Parlor Car--enjoyed it ever +so much, and was indignant at you all through, and kept exploding into +rages at you for pretending that such a woman ever existed--closing each +and every explosion with "But it is just what such a woman would do."-- +"It is just what such a woman would say." They all voted the Parlor Car +perfection--except me. I said they wouldn't have been allowed to court +and quarrel there so long, uninterrupted; but at each critical moment the +odious train-boy would come in and pile foul literature all over them +four or five inches deep, and the lover would turn his head aside and +curse--and presently that train-boy would be back again (as on all those +Western roads) to take up the literature and leave prize candy. + +Of course the thing is perfect, in the magazine, without the train-boy; +but I was thinking of the stage and the groundlings. If the dainty +touches went over their heads, the train-boy and other possible +interruptions would fetch them every time. Would it mar the flow of the +thing too much to insert that devil? I thought it over a couple of hours +and concluded it wouldn't, and that he ought to be in for the sake of the +groundlings (and to get new copyright on the piece.) + +And it seemed to me that now that the fourth act is so successfully +written, why not go ahead and write the 3 preceding acts? And then after +it is finished, let me put into it a low-comedy character (the girl's or +the lover's father or uncle) and gobble a big pecuniary interest in your +work for myself. Do not let this generous proposition disturb your rest +--but do write the other 3 acts, and then it will be valuable to +managers. And don't go and sell it to anybody, like Harte, but keep it +for yourself. + +Harte's play can be doctored till it will be entirely acceptable and then +it will clear a great sum every year. I am out of all patience with +Harte for selling it. The play entertained me hugely, even in its +present crude state. + Love to you all. + Yrs ever, + MARK + + + Following the Sellers success, Clemens had made many attempts at + dramatic writing. Such undertakings had uniformly failed, but he + had always been willing to try again. In the next letter we get the + beginning of what proved his first and last direct literary + association, that is to say, collaboration, with Bret Harte. + Clemens had great admiration for Harte's ability and believed that + between them they could turn out a successful play. Whether or not + this belief was justified will appear later. Howells's biography of + Hayes, meanwhile, had not gone well. He reported that only two + thousand copies had been sold in what was now the height of the + campaign. "There's success for you," he said; "it makes me despair + of the Republic." + + Clemens, on his part, had made a speech for Hayes that Howells + declared had put civil-service reform in a nutshell; he added: "You + are the only Republican orator, quoted without distinction of party + by all the newspapers." + + + To W. D. Howells, in Boston: + + HARTFORD, Oct. 11, 1876. +MY DEAR HOWELLS, This is a secret, to be known to nobody but you (of +course I comprehend that Mrs. Howells is part of you) that Bret Harte +came up here the other day and asked me to help him write a play and +divide the swag, and I agreed. I am to put in Scotty Briggs (See Buck +Fanshaw's Funeral, in "Roughing It.") and he is to put in a Chinaman (a, +wonderfully funny creature, as Bret presents him--for 5 minutes--in his +Sandy Bar play.) This Chinaman is to be the character of the play, and +both of us will work on him and develop him. Bret is to draw a plot, and +I am to do the same; we shall use the best of the two, or gouge from both +and build a third. My plot is built--finished it yesterday--six days' +work, 8 or 9 hours a day, and has nearly killed me. + +Now the favor I ask of you is that you will have the words "Ah Sin, a +Drama," printed in the middle of a note-paper page and send the same to +me, with Bill. We don't want anybody to know that we are building this +play. I can't get this title page printed here without having to lie so +much that the thought of it is disagreeable to one reared as I have been. +And yet the title of the play must be printed--the rest of the +application for copyright is allowable in penmanship. + +We have got the very best gang of servants in America, now. When George +first came he was one of the most religious of men. He had but one +fault--young George Washington's. But I have trained him; and now it +fairly breaks Mrs. Clemens's heart to hear George stand at that front +door and lie to the unwelcome visitor. But your time is valuable; I must +not dwell upon these things.....I'll ask Warner and Harte if they'll do +Blindfold Novelettes. Some time I'll simplify that plot. All it needs +is that the hanging and the marriage shall not be appointed for the same +day. I got over that difficulty, but it required too much MS to +reconcile the thing--so the movement of the story was clogged. + +I came near agreeing to make political speeches with our candidate for +Governor the 16th and 23 inst., but I had to give up the idea, for Harte +and I will be here at work then. + Yrs ever, + MARK + + + Mark Twain was writing few letters these days to any one but + Howells, yet in November he sent one to an old friend of his youth, + Burrough, the literary chair-maker who had roomed with him in the + days when he had been setting type for the St. Louis Evening News. + + + To Mr. Burrough, of St. Louis: + + HARTFORD, Nov. 1, 1876. +MY DEAR BURROUGHS,--As you describe me I can picture myself as I was 20 +years ago. The portrait is correct. You think I have grown some; upon +my word there was room for it. You have described a callow fool, a self- +sufficient ass, a mere human tumble-bug.... imagining that he is +remodeling the world and is entirely capable of doing it right. +Ignorance, intolerance, egotism, self-assertion, opaque perception, dense +and pitiful chuckle-headedness--and an almost pathetic unconsciousness of +it all. That is what I was at 19 and 20; and that is what the average +Southerner is at 60 today. Northerners, too, of a certain grade. It is +of children like this that voters are made. And such is the primal +source of our government! A man hardly knows whether to swear or cry +over it. + +I think I comprehend the position there--perfect freedom to vote just as +you choose, provided you choose to vote as other people think--social +ostracism, otherwise. The same thing exists here, among the Irish. +An Irish Republican is a pariah among his people. Yet that race find +fault with the same spirit in Know-Nothingism. + +Fortunately a good deal of experience of men enabled me to choose my +residence wisely. I live in the freest corner of the country. There are +no social disabilities between me and my Democratic personal friends. +We break the bread and eat the salt of hospitality freely together and +never dream of such a thing as offering impertinent interference in each +other's political opinions. + +Don't you ever come to New York again and not run up here to see me. I +Suppose we were away for the summer when you were East; but no matter, +you could have telegraphed and found out. We were at Elmira N. Y. and +right on your road, and could have given you a good time if you had +allowed us the chance. + +Yes, Will Bowen and I have exchanged letters now and then for several +years, but I suspect that I made him mad with my last--shortly after you +saw him in St. Louis, I judge. There is one thing which I can't stand +and won't stand, from many people. That is sham sentimentality--the kind +a school-girl puts into her graduating composition; the sort that makes +up the Original Poetry column of a country newspaper; the rot that deals +in the "happy days of yore," the "sweet yet melancholy past," with its +"blighted hopes" and its "vanished dreams" and all that sort of drivel. +Will's were always of this stamp. I stood it years. When I get a letter +like that from a grown man and he a widower with a family, it gives me +the stomach ache. And I just told Will Bowen so, last summer. I told +him to stop being 16 at 40; told him to stop drooling about the sweet yet +melancholy past, and take a pill. I said there was but one solitary +thing about the past worth remembering, and that was the fact that it is +the past--can't be restored. Well, I exaggerated some of these truths a +little--but only a little--but my idea was to kill his sham +sentimentality once and forever, and so make a good fellow of him again. +I went to the unheard-of trouble of re-writing the letter and saying the +same harsh things softly, so as to sugarcoat the anguish and make it a +little more endurable and I asked him to write and thank me honestly for +doing him the best and kindliest favor that any friend ever had done him +--but he hasn't done it yet. Maybe he will, sometime. I am grateful to +God that I got that letter off before he was married (I get that news +from you) else he would just have slobbered all over me and drowned me +when that event happened. + +I enclose photograph for the young ladies. I will remark that I do not +wear seal-skin for grandeur, but because I found, when I used to lecture +in the winter, that nothing else was able to keep a man warm sometimes, +in these high latitudes. I wish you had sent pictures of yourself and +family--I'll trade picture for picture with you, straight through, if you +are commercially inclined. + Your old friend, + SAML L. CLEMENS. + + + + +XVII. + +LETTERS, 1877. TO BERMUDA WITH TWICHELL. PROPOSITION TO TH. NAST. +THE WHITTIER DINNER + + Mark Twain must have been too busy to write letters that winter. + Those that have survived are few and unimportant. As a matter of + fact, he was writing the play, "Ah Sin," with Bret Harte, and + getting it ready for production. Harte was a guest in the Clemens + home while the play was being written, and not always a pleasant + one. He was full of requirements, critical as to the 'menage,' to + the point of sarcasm. The long friendship between Clemens and Harte + weakened under the strain of collaboration and intimate daily + intercourse, never to renew its old fiber. It was an unhappy + outcome of an enterprise which in itself was to prove of little + profit. The play, "Ah Sin," had many good features, and with + Charles T. Parsloe in an amusing Chinese part might have been made a + success, if the two authors could have harmoniously undertaken the + needed repairs. It opened in Washington in May, and a letter from + Parsloe, written at the moment, gives a hint of the situation. + + + From Charles T. Parsloe to S. L. Clemens: + + WASHINGTON, D. C. May 11th, 1877. +MR. CLEMENS,--I forgot whether I acknowledged receipt of check by +telegram. Harte has been here since Monday last and done little or +nothing yet, but promises to have something fixed by tomorrow morning. +We have been making some improvements among ourselves. The last act is +weak at the end, and I do hope Mr. Harte will have something for a good +finish to the piece. The other acts I think are all right, now. + +Hope you have entirely recovered. I am not very well myself, the +excitement of a first night is bad enough, but to have the annoyance with +Harte that I have is too much for a beginner. I ain't used to it. The +houses have been picking up since Tuesday Mr. Ford has worked well and +hard for us. + Yours in, haste, + CHAS. THOS. PARSLOE. + + + The play drew some good houses in Washington, but it could not hold + them for a run. Never mind what was the matter with it; perhaps a + very small change at the right point would have turned it into a + fine success. We have seen in a former letter the obligation which + Mark Twain confessed to Harte--a debt he had tried in many ways to + repay--obtaining for him a liberal book contract with Bliss; + advancing him frequent and large sums of money which Harte could + not, or did not, repay; seeking to advance his fortunes in many + directions. The mistake came when he introduced another genius into + the intracacies of his daily life. Clemens went down to Washington + during the early rehearsals of "Ah Sin." + + Meantime, Rutherford B. Hayes had been elected President, and + Clemens one day called with a letter of introduction from Howells, + thinking to meet the Chief Executive. His own letter to Howells, + later, probably does not give the real reason of his failure, but it + will be amusing to those who recall the erratic personality of + George Francis Train. Train and Twain were sometimes confused by + the very unlettered; or pretendedly, by Mark Twain's friends. + + + To W. D. Howells, in Boston: + + BALTIMORE, May 1, '77. +MY DEAR HOWELLS,--Found I was not absolutely needed in Washington so I +only staid 24 hours, and am on my way home, now. I called at the White +House, and got admission to Col. Rodgers, because I wanted to inquire +what was the right hour to go and infest the, President. It was my luck +to strike the place in the dead waste and middle of the day, the very +busiest time. I perceived that Mr. Rodgers took me for George Francis +Train and had made up his mind not to let me get at the President; so at +the end of half an hour I took my letter of introduction from the table +and went away. It was a great pity all round, and a great loss to the +nation, for I was brim full of the Eastern question. I didn't get to see +the President or the Chief Magistrate either, though I had sort of a +glimpse of a lady at a window who resembled her portraits. + Yrs ever, + MARK. + + Howells condoled with him on his failure to see the President, + "but," he added, "if you and I had both been there, our combined + skill would have no doubt procured us to be expelled from the White + House by Fred Douglass. But the thing seems to be a complete + failure as it was." Douglass at this time being the Marshal of + Columbia, gives special point to Howells's suggestion. + + Later, in May, Clemens took Twichell for an excursion to Bermuda. + He had begged Howells to go with them, but Howells, as usual, was + full of literary affairs. Twichell and Clemens spent four glorious + days tramping the length and breadth of the beautiful island, and + remembered it always as one of their happiest adventures. "Put it + down as an Oasis!" wrote Twichell on his return, "I'm afraid I shall + not see as green a spot again soon. And it was your invention and + your gift. And your company was the best of it. Indeed, I never + took more comfort in being with you than on this journey, which, my + boy, is saying a great deal." + + + To Howells, Clemens triumphantly reported the success of the + excursion. + + + To W. D. Howells, in Boston: + + FARMINGTON AVENUE, HARTFORD, May 29, 1877. +Confound you, Joe Twichell and I roamed about Bermuda day and night and +never ceased to gabble and enjoy. About half the talk was--"It is a +burning shame that Howells isn't here." "Nobody could get at the very +meat and marrow of this pervading charm and deliciousness like Howells;" +"How Howells would revel in the quaintness, and the simplicity of this +people and the Sabbath repose of this land." "What an imperishable +sketch Howells would make of Capt. West the whaler, and Capt. Hope with +the patient, pathetic face, wanderer in all the oceans for 42 years, +lucky in none; coming home defeated once more, now, minus his ship-- +resigned, uncomplaining, being used to this." "What a rattling chapter +Howells would make out of the small boy Alfred, with his alert eye and +military brevity and exactness of speech; and out of the old landlady; +and her sacred onions; and her daughter; and the visiting clergyman; and +the ancient pianos of Hamilton and the venerable music in vogue there-- +and forty other things which we shall leave untouched or touched but +lightly upon, we not being worthy." "Dam Howells for not being here!" +(this usually from me, not Twichell.) + +O, your insufferable pride, which will have a fall some day! If you had +gone with us and let me pay the $50 which the trip and the board and the +various nicknacks and mementoes would cost, I would have picked up enough +droppings from your conversation to pay me 500 per cent profit in the way +of the several magazine articles which I could have written, whereas I +can now write only one or two and am therefore largely out of pocket by +your proud ways. Ponder these things. Lord, what a perfectly bewitching +excursion it was! I traveled under an assumed name and was never +molested with a polite attention from anybody. + Love to you all. + Yrs ever + MARK + + + Aldrich, meantime, had invited the Clemenses to Ponkapog during the + Bermuda absence, and Clemens hastened to send him a line expressing + regrets. At the close he said: + + + To T. B. Aldrich, in Ponkapog, Mass.: + + FARMINGTON AVENUE, HARTFORD, June 3, 1877. +Day after tomorrow we leave for the hills beyond Elmira, N. Y. for the +summer, when I shall hope to write a book of some sort or other to beat +the people with. A work similar to your new one in the Atlantic is what +I mean, though I have not heard what the nature of that one is. Immoral, +I suppose. Well, you are right. Such books sell best, Howells says. +Howells says he is going to make his next book indelicate. He says he +thinks there is money in it. He says there is a large class of the +young, in schools and seminaries who--But you let him tell you. He has +ciphered it all down to a demonstration. + +With the warmest remembrances to the pair of you + Ever Yours + SAMUEL L. CLEMENS. + + + Clemens would naturally write something about Bermuda, and began at + once, "Random Notes of an Idle Excursion," and presently completed + four papers, which Howells eagerly accepted for the Atlantic. Then + we find him plunging into another play, this time alone. + + + To W. D. Howells, in Boston: + + ELMIRA, June 27, 1877. +MY DEAR HOWELLS,--If you should not like the first 2 chapters, send them +to me and begin with Chapter 3--or Part 3, I believe you call these +things in the magazine. I have finished No. 4., which closes the series, +and will mail it tomorrow if I think of it. I like this one, I liked the +preceding one (already mailed to you some time ago) but I had my doubts +about 1 and 2. Do not hesitate to squelch them, even with derision and +insult. + +Today I am deep in a comedy which I began this morning--principal +character, that old detective--I skeletoned the first act and wrote the +second, today; and am dog-tired, now. Fifty-four close pages of MS in 7 +hours. Once I wrote 55 pages at a sitting--that was on the opening +chapters of the "Gilded Age" novel. When I cool down, an hour from now, +I shall go to zero, I judge. + Yrs ever, + MARK. + + + Clemens had doubts as to the quality of the Bermuda papers, and with + some reason. They did not represent him at his best. Nevertheless, + they were pleasantly entertaining, and Howells expressed full + approval of them for Atlantic use. The author remained troubled. + + + To W. D. Howells, in Boston: + + ELMIRA, July 4,1877. +MY DEAR HOWELLS,--It is splendid of you to say those pleasant things. +But I am still plagued with doubts about Parts 1 and 2. If you have any, +don't print. If otherwise, please make some cold villain like Lathrop +read and pass sentence on them. Mind, I thought they were good, at +first--it was the second reading that accomplished its hellish purpose on +me. Put them up for a new verdict. Part 4 has lain in my pigeon-hole a +good while, and when I put it there I had a Christian's confidence in 4 +aces in it; and you can be sure it will skip toward Connecticut tomorrow +before any fatal fresh reading makes me draw my bet. + +I've piled up 151 MS pages on my comedy. The first, second and fourth +acts are done, and done to my satisfaction, too. Tomorrow and next day +will finish the 3rd act and the play. I have not written less than 30 +pages any day since I began. Never had so much fun over anything in my +life-never such consuming interest and delight. (But Lord bless you the +second reading will fetch it!) And just think!--I had Sol Smith Russell +in my mind's eye for the old detective's part, and hang it he has gone +off pottering with Oliver Optic, or else the papers lie. + +I read everything about the President's doings there with exultation. + +I wish that old ass of a private secretary hadn't taken me for George +Francis Train. If ignorance were a means of grace I wouldn't trade that +gorilla's chances for the Archbishop of Canterbury's. + +I shall call on the President again, by and by. I shall go in my war +paint; and if I am obstructed the nation will have the unusual spectacle +of a private secretary with a pen over one ear a tomahawk over the other. + +I read the entire Atlantic this time. Wonderful number. Mrs. Rose Terry +Cooke's story was a ten-strike. I wish she would write 12 old-time New +England tales a year. + +Good times to you all! Mind if you don't run here for a few days you +will go to hence without having had a fore-glimpse of heaven. + + MARK. + + + The play, "Ah Sin," that had done little enough in Washington, was + that summer given another trial by Augustin Daly, at the Fifth + Avenue Theater, New York, with a fine company. Clemens had + undertaken to doctor the play, and it would seem to have had an + enthusiastic reception on the opening night. But it was a summer + audience, unspoiled by many attractions. "Ah Sin" was never a + success in the New York season--never a money-maker on the road. + + The reference in the first paragraph of the letter that follows is + to the Bermuda chapters which Mark Twain was publishing + simultaneously in England and America. + + + ELMIRA, Aug 3,1877. +MY DEAR HOWELLS,--I have mailed one set of the slips to London, and told +Bentley you would print Sept. 15, in October Atlantic, and he must not +print earlier in Temple Bar. Have I got the dates and things right? + +I am powerful glad to see that No. 1 reads a nation sight better in print +than it did in MS. I told Bentley we'd send him the slips, each time, 6 +weeks before day of publication. We can do that can't we? Two months +ahead would be still better I suppose, but I don't know. + +"Ah Sin" went a-booming at the Fifth Avenue. The reception of Col. +Sellers was calm compared to it. + +*The criticisms were just; the criticisms of the great New York dailies +are always just, intelligent, and square and honest--notwithstanding, +by a blunder which nobody was seriously to blame for, I was made to say +exactly the opposite of this in a newspaper some time ago. Never said it +at all, and moreover I never thought it. I could not publicly correct it +before the play appeared in New York, because that would look as if I had +really said that thing and then was moved by fears for my pocket and my +reputation to take it back. But I can correct it now, and shall do it; +for now my motives cannot be impugned. When I began this letter, it had +not occurred to me to use you in this connection, but it occurs to me +now. Your opinion and mine, uttered a year ago, and repeated more than +once since, that the candor and ability of the New York critics were +beyond question, is a matter which makes it proper enough that I should +speak through you at this time. Therefore if you will print this +paragraph somewhere, it may remove the impression that I say unjust +things which I do not think, merely for the pleasure of talking. + +There, now, Can't you say-- + +"In a letter to Mr. Howells of the Atlantic Monthly, Mark Twain describes +the reception of the new comedy 'Ali Sin,' and then goes on to say:" etc. + +Beginning at the star with the words, "The criticisms were just." Mrs. +Clemens says, "Don't ask that of Mr. Howells--it will be disagreeable to +him." I hadn't thought of it, but I will bet two to one on the +correctness of her instinct. We shall see. + +Will you cut that paragraph out of this letter and precede it with the +remarks suggested (or with better ones,) and send it to the Globe or some +other paper? You can't do me a bigger favor; and yet if it is in the +least disagreeable, you mustn't think of it. But let me know, right +away, for I want to correct this thing before it grows stale again. +I explained myself to only one critic (the World)--the consequence was a +noble notice of the play. This one called on me, else I shouldn't have +explained myself to him. + +I have been putting in a deal of hard work on that play in New York, but +it is full of incurable defects. + +My old Plunkett family seemed wonderfully coarse and vulgar on the stage, +but it was because they were played in such an outrageously and +inexcusably coarse way. The Chinaman is killingly funny. I don't know +when I have enjoyed anything as much as I did him. The people say there +isn't enough of him in the piece. That's a triumph--there'll never be +any more of him in it. + +John Brougham said, "Read the list of things which the critics have +condemned in the piece, and you have unassailable proofs that the play +contains all the requirements of success and a long life." + +That is true. Nearly every time the audience roared I knew it was over +something that would be condemned in the morning (justly, too) but must +be left in--for low comedies are written for the drawing-room, the +kitchen and the stable, and if you cut out the kitchen and the stable the +drawing-room can't support the play by itself. + +There was as much money in the house the first two nights as in the first +ten of Sellers. Haven't heard from the third--I came away. + Yrs ever, + MARK. + + + In a former letter we have seen how Mark Twain, working on a story + that was to stand as an example of his best work, and become one of + his surest claims to immortality (The Adventures of Huckleberry + Finn), displayed little enthusiasm in his undertaking. In the + following letter, which relates the conclusion of his detective + comedy, we find him at the other extreme, on very tiptoe with + enthusiasm over something wholly without literary value or dramatic + possibility. One of the hall-marks of genius is the inability to + discriminate as to the value of its output. "Simon Wheeler, Amateur + Detective" was a dreary, absurd, impossible performance, as wild and + unconvincing in incident and dialogue as anything out of an asylum + could well be. The title which he first chose for it, "Balaam's + Ass," was properly in keeping with the general scheme. Yet Mark + Twain, still warm with the creative fever, had the fullest faith in + it as a work of art and a winner of fortune. It would never see the + light of production, of course. We shall see presently that the + distinguished playwright, Dion Boucicault, good-naturedly + complimented it as being better than "Ahi Sin." One must wonder + what that skilled artist really thought, and how he could do even + this violence to his conscience. + + + To W. D. Howells, in Boston: + + ELMIRA, Wednesday P.M. (1877) +MY DEAR HOWELLS,--It's finished. I was misled by hurried mis-paging. +There were ten pages of notes, and over 300 pages of MS when the play was +done. Did it in 42 hours, by the clock; 40 pages of the Atlantic--but +then of course it's very "fat." Those are the figures, but I don't +believe them myself, because the thing's impossible. + +But let that pass. All day long, and every day, since I finished (in the +rough) I have been diligently altering, amending, re-writing, cutting +down. I finished finally today. Can't think of anything else in the way +of an improvement. I thought I would stick to it while the interest was +hot--and I am mighty glad I did. A week from now it will be frozen--then +revising would be drudgery. (You see I learned something from the fatal +blunder of putting "Ah Sin" aside before it was finished.) + +She's all right, now. She reads in two hours and 20 minutes and will +play not longer than 2 3/4 hours. Nineteen characters; 3 acts; (I +bunched 2 into 1.) + +Tomorrow I will draw up an exhaustive synopsis to insert in the printed +title-page for copyrighting, and then on Friday or Saturday I go to New +York to remain a week or ten days and lay for an actor. Wish you could +run down there and have a holiday. 'Twould be fun. + +My wife won't have "Balaam's Ass"; therefore I call the piece "Cap'n +Simon Wheeler, The Amateur Detective." + Yrs + MARK. + + + To W. D. Howells, in Boston: + + ELMIRA, Aug. 29, 1877. +MY DEAR HOWELLS,--Just got your letter last night. No, dern that +article,--[One of the Bermuda chapters.]--it made me cry when I read it +in proof, it was so oppressively and ostentatiously poor. Skim your eye +over it again and you will think as I do. If Isaac and the prophets of +Baal can be doctored gently and made permissible, it will redeem the +thing: but if it can't, let's burn all of the articles except the tail- +end of it and use that as an introduction to the next article--as I +suggested in my letter to you of day before yesterday. (I had this proof +from Cambridge before yours came.) + +Boucicault says my new play is ever so much better than "Ah Sin;" says +the Amateur detective is a bully character, too. An actor is chawing +over the play in New York, to see if the old Detective is suited to his +abilities. Haven't heard from him yet. + +If you've got that paragraph by you yet, and if in your judgment it would +be good to publish it, and if you absolutely would not mind doing it, +then I think I'd like to have you do it--or else put some other words in +my mouth that will be properer, and publish them. But mind, don't think +of it for a moment if it is distasteful--and doubtless it is. I value +your judgment more than my own, as to the wisdom of saying anything at +all in this matter. To say nothing leaves me in an injurious position-- +and yet maybe I might do better to speak to the men themselves when I go +to New York. This was my latest idea, and it looked wise. + +We expect to leave here for home Sept. 4, reaching there the 8th--but we +may be delayed a week. + +Curious thing. I read passages from my play, and a full synopsis, to +Boucicault, who was re-writing a play, which he wrote and laid aside 3 or +4 years ago. (My detective is about that age, you know.) Then he read a +passage from his play, where a real detective does some things that are +as idiotic as some of my old Wheeler's performances. Showed me the +passages, and behold, his man's name is Wheeler! However, his Wheeler +is not a prominent character, so we'll not alter the names. My Wheeler's +name is taken from the old jumping Frog sketch. + +I am re-reading Ticknor's diary, and am charmed with it, though I still +say he refers to too many good things when he could just as well have +told them. Think of the man traveling 8 days in convoy and familiar +intercourse with a band of outlaws through the mountain fastnesses of +Spain--he the fourth stranger they had encountered in thirty years--and +compressing this priceless experience into a single colorless paragraph +of his diary! They spun yarns to this unworthy devil, too. + +I wrote you a very long letter a day or two ago, but Susy Crane wanted to +make a copy of it to keep, so it has not gone yet. It may go today, +possibly. + +We unite in warm regards to you and yours. + Yrs ever, + MARK. + + + The Ticknor referred to in a former letter was Professor George + Ticknor, of Harvard College, a history-writer of distinction. On + the margin of the "Diary" Mark Twain once wrote, "Ticknor is a + Millet, who makes all men fall in love with him." And adds: "Millet + was the cause of lovable qualities in people, and then he admired + and loved those persons for the very qualities which he (without + knowing it) had created in them. Perhaps it would be strictly truer + of these two men to say that they bore within them the divine + something in whose presence the evil in people fled away and hid + itself, while all that was good in them came spontaneously forward + out of the forgotten walls and comers in their systems where it was + accustomed to hide." + + It is Frank Millet, the artist, he is speaking of--a knightly soul + whom all the Clemens household loved, and who would one day meet his + knightly end with those other brave men that found death together + when the Titanic went down. + + The Clemens family was still at Quarry Farm at the end of August, + and one afternoon there occurred a startling incident which Mark + Twain thought worth setting down in practically duplicate letters to + Howells and to Dr. John Brown. It may be of interest to the reader + to know that John T. Lewis, the colored man mentioned, lived to a + good old age--a pensioner of the Clemens family and, in the course + of time, of H. H. Rogers. Howells's letter follows. It is the + "very long letter" referred to in the foregoing. + + + To W. D. Howells and wife, in Boston: + + ELMIRA, Aug. 25 '77. +MY DEAR HOWELLSES,--I thought I ought to make a sort of record of it for +further reference; the pleasantest way to do that would be to write it to +somebody; but that somebody would let it leak into print and that we wish +to avoid. The Howellses would be safe--so let us tell the Howellses +about it. + +Day before yesterday was a fine summer day away up here on the summit. +Aunt Marsh and Cousin May Marsh were here visiting Susie Crane and Livy +at our farmhouse. By and by mother Langdon came up the hill in the "high +carriage" with Nora the nurse and little Jervis (Charley Langdon's little +boy)--Timothy the coachman driving. Behind these came Charley's wife and +little girl in the buggy, with the new, young, spry, gray horse--a high- +stepper. Theodore Crane arrived a little later. + +The Bay and Susy were on hand with their nurse, Rosa. I was on hand, +too. Susy Crane's trio of colored servants ditto--these being Josie, +house-maid; Aunty Cord, cook, aged 62, turbaned, very tall, very broad, +very fine every way (see her portrait in "A True Story just as I Heard +It" in my Sketches;) Chocklate (the laundress) (as the Bay calls her--she +can't say Charlotte,) still taller, still more majestic of proportions, +turbaned, very black, straight as an Indian--age 24. Then there was the +farmer's wife (colored) and her little girl, Susy. + +Wasn't it a good audience to get up an excitement before? Good +excitable, inflammable material? + +Lewis was still down town, three miles away, with his two-horse wagon, +to get a load of manure. Lewis is the farmer (colored). He is of mighty +frame and muscle, stocky, stooping, ungainly, has a good manly face and a +clear eye. Age about 45--and the most picturesque of men, when he sits +in his fluttering work-day rags, humped forward into a bunch, with his +aged slouch hat mashed down over his ears and neck. It is a spectacle to +make the broken-hearted smile. Lewis has worked mighty hard and remained +mighty poor. At the end of each whole year's toil he can't show a gain +of fifty dollars. He had borrowed money of the Cranes till he owed them +$700 and he being conscientious and honest, imagine what it was to him to +have to carry this stubborn, helpless load year in and year out. + +Well, sunset came, and Ida the young and comely (Charley Langdon's wife) +and her little Julia and the nurse Nora, drove out at the gate behind the +new gray horse and started down the long hill--the high carriage +receiving its load under the porte cochere. Ida was seen to turn her +face toward us across the fence and intervening lawn--Theodore waved +good-bye to her, for he did not know that her sign was a speechless +appeal for help. + +The next moment Livy said, "Ida's driving too fast down hill!" She +followed it with a sort of scream, "Her horse is running away!" + +We could see two hundred yards down that descent. The buggy seemed to +fly. It would strike obstructions and apparently spring the height of a +man from the ground. + +Theodore and I left the shrieking crowd behind and ran down the hill +bare-headed and shouting. A neighbor appeared at his gate--a tenth of a +second too late! the buggy vanished past him like a thought. My last +glimpse showed it for one instant, far down the descent, springing high +in the air out of a cloud of dust, and then it disappeared. As I flew +down the road my impulse was to shut my eyes as I turned them to the +right or left, and so delay for a moment the ghastly spectacle of +mutilation and death I was expecting. + +I ran on and on, still spared this spectacle, but saying to myself: +"I shall see it at the turn of the road; they never can pass that turn +alive." When I came in sight of that turn I saw two wagons there bunched +together--one of them full of people. I said, "Just so--they are staring +petrified at the remains." + +But when I got amongst that bunch, there sat Ida in her buggy and nobody +hurt, not even the horse or the vehicle. Ida was pale but serene. As I +came tearing down, she smiled back over her shoulder at me and said, +"Well, we're alive yet, aren't we?" A miracle had been performed-- +nothing else. + +You see Lewis, the prodigious, humped upon his front seat, had been +toiling up, on his load of manure; he saw the frantic horse plunging down +the hill toward him, on a full gallop, throwing his heels as high as a +man's head at every jump. So Lewis turned his team diagonally across the +road just at the "turn," thus making a V with the fence--the running +horse could not escape that, but must enter it. Then Lewis sprang to the +ground and stood in this V. He gathered his vast strength, and with a +perfect Creedmoor aim he seized the gray horse's bit as he plunged by and +fetched him up standing! + +It was down hill, mind you. Ten feet further down hill neither Lewis nor +any other man could have saved them, for they would have been on the +abrupt "turn," then. But how this miracle was ever accomplished at all, +by human strength, generalship and accuracy, is clean beyond my +comprehension--and grows more so the more I go and examine the ground and +try to believe it was actually done. I know one thing, well; if Lewis +had missed his aim he would have been killed on the spot in the trap he +had made for himself, and we should have found the rest of the remains +away down at the bottom of the steep ravine. + +Ten minutes later Theodore and I arrived opposite the house, with the +servants straggling after us, and shouted to the distracted group on the +porch, "Everybody safe!" + +Believe it? Why how could they? They knew the road perfectly. We might +as well have said it to people who had seen their friends go over +Niagara. + +However, we convinced them; and then, instead of saying something, or +going on crying, they grew very still--words could not express it, I +suppose. + +Nobody could do anything that night, or sleep, either; but there was a +deal of moving talk, with long pauses between pictures of that flying +carriage, these pauses represented--this picture intruded itself all the +time and disjointed the talk. + +But yesterday evening late, when Lewis arrived from down town he found +his supper spread, and some presents of books there, with very +complimentary writings on the fly-leaves, and certain very complimentary +letters, and more or less greenbacks of dignified denomination pinned to +these letters and fly-leaves,--and one said, among other things, (signed +by the Cranes) "We cancel $400 of your indebtedness to us," &c. &c. + +(The end thereof is not yet, of course, for Charley Langdon is West and +will arrive ignorant of all these things, today.) + +The supper-room had been kept locked and imposingly secret and mysterious +until Lewis should arrive; but around that part of the house were +gathered Lewis's wife and child, Chocklate, Josie, Aunty Cord and our +Rosa, canvassing things and waiting impatiently. They were all on hand +when the curtain rose. + +Now, Aunty Cord is a violent Methodist and Lewis an implacable Dunker-- +Baptist. Those two are inveterate religious disputants. The revealments +having been made Aunty Cord said with effusion-- + +"Now, let folks go on saying there ain't no God! Lewis, the Lord sent +you there to stop that horse." + +Says Lewis: + +"Then who sent the horse there in sich a shape?" + +But I want to call your attention to one thing. When Lewis arrived the +other evening, after saving those lives by a feat which I think is the +most marvelous of any I can call to mind--when he arrived, hunched up on +his manure wagon and as grotesquely picturesque as usual, everybody +wanted to go and see how he looked. They came back and said he was +beautiful. It was so, too--and yet he would have photographed exactly as +he would have done any day these past 7 years that he has occupied this +farm. + + Aug. 27. +P. S. Our little romance in real life is happily and satisfactorily +completed. Charley has come, listened, acted--and now John T. Lewis has +ceased to consider himself as belonging to that class called "the poor." + +It has been known, during some years, that it was Lewis's purpose to buy +a thirty dollar silver watch some day, if he ever got where he could +afford it. Today Ida has given him a new, sumptuous gold Swiss stem- +winding stop-watch; and if any scoffer shall say, "Behold this thing is +out of character," there is an inscription within, which will silence +him; for it will teach him that this wearer aggrandizes the watch, not +the watch the wearer. + +I was asked beforehand, if this would be a wise gift, and I said "Yes, +the very wisest of all;" I know the colored race, and I know that in +Lewis's eyes this fine toy will throw the other more valuable +testimonials far away into the shade. If he lived in England the Humane +Society would give him a gold medal as costly as this watch, and nobody +would say: "It is out of character." If Lewis chose to wear a town +clock, who would become it better? + +Lewis has sound common sense, and is not going to be spoiled. The +instant he found himself possessed of money, he forgot himself in a plan +to make his old father comfortable, who is wretchedly poor and lives down +in Maryland. His next act, on the spot, was the proffer to the Cranes of +the $300 of his remaining indebtedness to them. This was put off by them +to the indefinite future, for he is not going to be allowed to pay that +at all, though he doesn't know it. + +A letter of acknowledgment from Lewis contains a sentence which raises it +to the dignity of literature: + +"But I beg to say, humbly, that inasmuch as divine providence saw fit to +use me as a instrument for the saving of those presshious lives, the +honner conferd upon me was greater than the feat performed." + +That is well said. + Yrs ever + MARK. + + + Howells was moved to use the story in the. "Contributors' Club," + and warned Clemens against letting it get into the newspapers. He + declared he thought it one of the most impressive things he had ever + read. But Clemens seems never to have allowed it to be used in any + form. In its entirety, therefore, it is quite new matter. + + + To W. D. Howells, in Boston: + + HARTFORD, Sept. 19, 1877. +MY DEAR HOWELLS,--I don't really see how the story of the runaway horse +could read well with the little details of names and places and things +left out. They are the true life of all narrative. It wouldn't quite +do to print them at this time. We'll talk about it when you come. +Delicacy--a sad, sad false delicacy--robs literature of the best two +things among its belongings. Family-circle narrative and obscene +stories. But no matter; in that better world which I trust we are all +going to I have the hope and belief that they will not be denied us. + +Say--Twichell and I had an adventure at sea, 4 months ago, which I did +not put in my Bermuda articles, because there was not enough to it. But +the press dispatches bring the sequel today, and now there's plenty to +it. A sailless, wasteless, chartless, compassless, grubless old +condemned tub that has been drifting helpless about the ocean for 4 +months and a half, begging bread and water like any other tramp, flying a +signal of distress permanently, and with 13 innocent, marveling +chuckleheaded Bermuda niggers on board, taking a Pleasure Excursion! Our +ship fed the poor devils on the 25th of last May, far out at sea and left +them to bullyrag their way to New York--and now they ain't as near New +York as they were then by 250 miles! They have drifted 750 miles and are +still drifting in the relentless Gulf Stream! What a delicious magazine +chapter it would make--but I had to deny myself. I had to come right out +in the papers at once, with my details, so as to try to raise the +government's sympathy sufficiently to have better succor sent them than +the cutter Colfax, which went a little way in search of them the other +day and then struck a fog and gave it up. + +If the President were in Washington I would telegraph him. + +When I hear that the "Jonas Smith" has been found again, I mean to send +for one of those darkies, to come to Hartford and give me his adventures +for an Atlantic article. + +Likely you will see my today's article in the newspapers. + Yrs ever, + MARK. + +The revenue cutter Colfax went after the Jonas Smith, thinking there was +mutiny or other crime on board. It occurs to me now that, since there is +only mere suffering and misery and nobody to punish, it ceases to be a +matter which (a republican form of) government will feel authorized to +interfere in further. Dam a republican form of government. + + + Clemens thought he had given up lecturing for good; he was + prosperous and he had no love for the platform. But one day an idea + popped into his head: Thomas Nast, the "father of the American + cartoon," had delivered a successful series of illustrated lectures- + talks for which he made the drawings as he went along. Mark Twain's + idea was to make a combination with Nast. His letter gives us the + plan in full. + + + To Thomas Nast, Morristown, N. J.: + + HARTFORD, CONN. 1877. +MY DEAR NAST,--I did not think I should ever stand on a platform again +until the time was come for me to say "I die innocent." But the same old +offers keep arriving. I have declined them all, just as usual, though +sorely tempted, as usual. + +Now, I do not decline because I mind talking to an audience, but because +(1) traveling alone is so heartbreakingly dreary, and (2) shouldering the +whole show is such a cheer-killing responsibility. + +Therefore, I now propose to you what you proposed to me in 1867, ten +years ago (when I was unknown) viz., that you stand on the platform and +make pictures, and I stand by you and blackguard the audience. I should +enormously enjoy meandering around (to big towns--don't want to go to the +little ones) with you for company. + +My idea is not to fatten the lecture agents and lyceums on the spoils, +but put all the ducats religiously into two equal piles, and say to the +artist and lecturer, "Absorb these." + +For instance--[Here follows a plan and a possible list of cities to be +visited. The letter continues] + +Call the gross receipts $100,000 for four months and a half, and the +profit from $60,000 to $75,000 (I try to make the figures large enough, +and leave it to the public to reduce them.) + +I did not put in Philadelphia because Pugh owns that town, and last +winter when I made a little reading-trip he only paid me $300 and +pretended his concert (I read fifteen minutes in the midst of a concert) +cost him a vast sum, and so he couldn't afford any more. I could get up +a better concert with a barrel of cats. + +I have imagined two or three pictures and concocted the accompanying +remarks to see how the thing would go. I was charmed. + +Well, you think it over, Nast, and drop me a line. We should have some +fun. + Yours truly, + SAMUEL L. CLEMENS. + + + The plan came to nothing. Nast, like Clemens, had no special taste + for platforming, and while undoubtedly there would have been large + profits in the combination, the promise of the venture did not + compel his acceptance. + + In spite of his distaste for the platform Mark Twain was always + giving readings and lectures, without charge, for some worthy + Hartford cause. He was ready to do what he could to help an + entertainment along, if he could do it in his own way--an original + way, sometimes, and not always gratifying to the committee, whose + plans were likely to be prearranged. + + For one thing, Clemens, supersensitive in the matter of putting + himself forward in his own town, often objected to any special + exploitation of his name. This always distressed the committee, who + saw a large profit to their venture in the prestige of his fame. + The following characteristic letter was written in self-defense + when, on one such occasion, a committee had become sufficiently + peevish to abandon a worthy enterprise. + + + To an Entertainment Committee, in Hartford: + + Nov. 9. +E. S. SYKES, Esq: + +Dr. SIR,--Mr. Burton's note puts upon me all the blame of the destruction +of an enterprise which had for its object the succor of the Hartford +poor. That is to say, this enterprise has been dropped because of the +"dissatisfaction with Mr. Clemens's stipulations." Therefore I must be +allowed to say a word in my defense. + +There were two "stipulations"--exactly two. I made one of them; if the +other was made at all, it was a joint one, from the choir and me. + +My individual stipulation was, that my name should be kept out of the +newspapers. The joint one was that sufficient tickets to insure a good +sum should be sold before the date of the performance should be set. +(Understand, we wanted a good sum--I do not think any of us bothered +about a good house; it was money we were after) + +Now you perceive that my concern is simply with my individual +stipulation. Did that break up the enterprise? + +Eugene Burton said he would sell $300 worth of the tickets himself.--Mr. +Smith said he would sell $200 or $300 worth himself. My plan for Asylum +Hill Church would have ensured $150 from that quarter.--All this in the +face of my "Stipulation." It was proposed to raise $1000; did my +stipulation render the raising of $400 or $500 in a dozen churches +impossible? + +My stipulation is easily defensible. When a mere reader or lecturer has +appeared 3 or 4 times in a town of Hartford's size, he is a good deal +more than likely to get a very unpleasant snub if he shoves himself +forward about once or twice more. Therefore I long ago made up my mind +that whenever I again appeared here, it should be only in a minor +capacity and not as a chief attraction. + +Now, I placed that harmless and very justifiable stipulation before the +committee the other day; they carried it to headquarters and it was +accepted there. I am not informed that any objection was made to it, or +that it was regarded as an offense. It seems late in the day, now, after +a good deal of trouble has been taken and a good deal of thankless work +done by the committees, to, suddenly tear up the contract and then turn +and bowl me down from long range as being the destroyer of it. + +If the enterprise has failed because of my individual stipulation, here +you have my proper and reasonable reasons for making that stipulation. + +If it has failed because of the joint stipulation, put the blame there, +and let us share it collectively. + +I think our plan was a good one. I do not doubt that Mr. Burton still +approves of it, too. I believe the objections come from other quarters, +and not from him. Mr. Twichell used the following words in last Sunday's +sermon, (if I remember correctly): + +"My hearers, the prophet Deuteronomy says this wise thing: 'Though ye +plan a goodly house for the poor, and plan it with wisdom, and do take +off your coats and set to to build it, with high courage, yet shall the +croaker presently come, and lift up his voice, (having his coat on,) and +say, Verily this plan is not well planned--and he will go his way; and +the obstructionist will come, and lift up his voice, (having his coat +on,) and say, Behold, this is but a sick plan--and he will go his way; +and the man that knows it all will come, and lift up his voice, (having +his coat on,) and say, Lo, call they this a plan? then will he go his +way; and the places which knew him once shall know him no more forever, +because he was not, for God took him. Now therefore I say unto you, +Verily that house will not be budded. And I say this also: He that +waiteth for all men to be satisfied with his plan, let him seek eternal +life, for he shall need it.'" + +This portion of Mr. Twichell's sermon made a great impression upon me, +and I was grieved that some one had not wakened me earlier so that I +might have heard what went before. + + S. L. CLEMENS. + + + Mr. Sykes (of the firm of Sykes & Newton, the Allen House Pharmacy) + replied that he had read the letter to the committee and that it had + set those gentlemen right who had not before understood the + situation. "If others were as ready to do their part as yourself + our poor would not want assistance," he said, in closing. + + We come now to an incident which assumes the proportions of an + episode-even of a catastrophe--in Mark Twain's career. The disaster + was due to a condition noted a few pages earlier--the inability of + genius to judge its own efforts. The story has now become history-- + printed history--it having been sympathetically told by Howells in + My Mark Twain, and more exhaustively, with a report of the speech + that invited the lightning, in a former work by the present writer. + + The speech was made at John Greenleaf Whittier's seventieth birthday + dinner, given by the Atlantic staff on the evening of December 17, + 1877. It was intended as a huge joke--a joke that would shake the + sides of these venerable Boston deities, Longfellow, Emerson, + Holmes, and the rest of that venerated group. Clemens had been a + favorite at the Atlantic lunches and dinners--a speech by him always + an event. This time he decided to outdo himself. + + He did that, but not in the way he had intended. To use one of his + own metaphors, he stepped out to meet the rainbow and got struck by + lightning. His joke was not of the Boston kind or size. When its + full nature burst upon the company--when the ears of the assembled + diners heard the sacred names of Longfellow, Emerson, and Holmes + lightly associated with human aspects removed--oh, very far removed + --from Cambridge and Concord, a chill fell upon the diners that + presently became amazement, and then creeping paralysis. Nobody + knew afterward whether the great speech that he had so gaily planned + ever came to a natural end or not. Somebody--the next on the + program--attempted to follow him, but presently the company melted + out of the doors and crept away into the night. + + It seemed to Mark Twain that his career had come to an end. Back in + Hartford, sweating and suffering through sleepless nights, he wrote + Howells his anguish. + + + To W. D. Howells, in Boston: + + Sunday Night. 1877. +MY DEAR HOWELLS,--My sense of disgrace does not abate. It grows. I see +that it is going to add itself to my list of permanencies--a list of +humiliations that extends back to when I was seven years old, and which +keep on persecuting me regardless of my repentancies. + +I feel that my misfortune has injured me all over the country; therefore +it will be best that I retire from before the public at present. It will +hurt the Atlantic for me to appear in its pages, now. So it is my +opinion and my wife's that the telephone story had better be suppressed. +Will you return those proofs or revises to me, so that I can use the same +on some future occasion? + +It seems as if I must have been insane when I wrote that speech and saw +no harm in it, no disrespect toward those men whom I reverenced so much. +And what shame I brought upon you, after what you said in introducing me! +It burns me like fire to think of it. + +The whole matter is a dreadful subject--let me drop it here--at least on +paper. + Penitently yrs, + MARK. + + + Howells sent back a comforting letter. "I have no idea of dropping + you out of the Atlantic," he wrote; "and Mr. Houghton has still + less, if possible. You are going to help and not hurt us many a + year yet, if you will.... You are not going to be floored by it; + there is more justice than that, even in this world." + + Howells added that Charles Elliot Norton had expressed just the + right feeling concerning the whole affair, and that many who had not + heard the speech, but read the newspaper reports of it, had found it + without offense. + + Clemens wrote contrite letters to Holmes, Emerson, and Longfellow, + and received most gracious acknowledgments. Emerson, indeed, had + not heard the speech: His faculties were already blurred by the + mental mists that would eventually shut him in. Clemens wrote again + to Howells, this time with less anguish. + + + To W. D. Howells, in Boston: + + HARTFORD, Friday, 1877. +MY DEAR HOWELLS,--Your letter was a godsend; and perhaps the welcomest +part of it was your consent that I write to those gentlemen; for you +discouraged my hints in that direction that morning in Boston--rightly, +too, for my offense was yet too new, then. Warner has tried to hold up +our hands like the good fellow he is, but poor Twichell could not say a +word, and confessed that he would rather take nearly any punishment than +face Livy and me. He hasn't been here since. + +It is curious, but I pitched early upon Mr. Norton as the very man who +would think some generous thing about that matter, whether he said it or +not. It is splendid to be a man like that--but it is given to few to be. + +I wrote a letter yesterday, and sent a copy to each of the three. I +wanted to send a copy to Mr. Whittier also, since the offense was done +also against him, being committed in his presence and he the guest of the +occasion, besides holding the well-nigh sacred place he does in his +people's estimation; but I didn't know whether to venture or not, and so +ended by doing nothing. It seemed an intrusion to approach him, and even +Livy seemed to have her doubts as to the best and properest way to do in +the case. I do not reverence Mr. Emerson less, but somehow I could +approach him easier. + +Send me those proofs, if you have got them handy; I want to submit them +to Wylie; he won't show them to anybody. + +Had a very pleasant and considerate letter from Mr. Houghton, today, and +was very glad to receive it. + +You can't imagine how brilliant and beautiful that new brass fender is, +and how perfectly naturally it takes its place under the carved oak. How +they did scour it up before they sent it! I lied a good deal about it +when I came home--so for once I kept a secret and surprised Livy on a +Christmas morning! + +I haven't done a stroke of work since the Atlantic dinner; have only +moped around. But I'm going to try tomorrow. How could I ever have. + +Ah, well, I am a great and sublime fool. But then I am God's fool, and +all His works must be contemplated with respect. + +Livy and I join in the warmest regards to you and yours, + Yrs ever, + MARK. + +Longfellow, in his reply, said: "I do not believe anybody was much hurt. +Certainly I was not, and Holmes tells me he was not. So I think you may +dismiss the matter from your mind without further remorse." + +Holmes wrote: "It never occurred to me for a moment to take offense, or +feel wounded by your playful use of my name." + +Miss Ellen Emerson replied for her father (in a letter to Mrs. Clemens) +that the speech had made no impression upon him, giving at considerable +length the impression it had made on herself and other members of the +family. + + Clearly, it was not the principals who were hurt, but only those who + held them in awe, though one can realize that this would not make it + much easier for Mark Twain. + + + + +XVIII. + +LETTERS FROM EUROPE, 1878-79. TRAMPING WITH TWICHELL. WRITING A NEW +TRAVEL BOOK. LIFE IN MUNICH + + Whether the unhappy occurrence at the Whittier dinner had anything + to do with Mark Twain's resolve to spend a year or two in Europe + cannot be known now. There were other good reasons for going, one + in particular being a demand for another book of travel. It was + also true, as he explains in a letter to his mother, that his days + were full of annoyances, making it difficult for him to work. He + had a tendency to invest money in almost any glittering enterprise + that came along, and at this time he was involved in the promotion + of a variety of patent rights that brought him no return other than + assessment and vexation. + + Clemens's mother was by this time living with her son Onion and his + wife, in Iowa. + + + To Mrs. Jane Clemens, in Keokuk, Iowa: + + HARTFORD, Feb. 17, 1878 +MY DEAR MOTHER,--I suppose I am the worst correspondent in the whole +world; and yet I grow worse and worse all the time. My conscience +blisters me for not writing you, but it has ceased to abuse me for not +writing other folks. + +Life has come to be a very serious matter with me. I have a badgered, +harassed feeling, a good part of my time. It comes mainly of business +responsibilities and annoyances, and the persecution of kindly letters +from well meaning strangers--to whom I must be rudely silent or else put +in the biggest half of my time bothering over answers. There are other +things also that help to consume my time and defeat my projects. Well, +the consequence is, I cannot write a book at home. This cuts my income +down. Therefore, I have about made up my mind to take my tribe and fly +to some little corner of Europe and budge no more until I shall have +completed one of the half dozen books that lie begun, up stairs. Please +say nothing about this at present. + +We propose to sail the 11th of April. I shall go to Fredonia to meet +you, but it will not be well for Livy to make that trip I am afraid. +However, we shall see. I will hope she can go. + +Mr. Twichell has just come in, so I must go to him. We are all well, and +send love to you all. + Affly, + SAM. + + + He was writing few letters at this time, and doing but little work. + There were always many social events during the winter, and what + with his European plans and a diligent study of the German language, + which the entire family undertook, his days and evenings were full + enough. Howells wrote protesting against the European travel and + berating him for his silence: + + "I never was in Berlin and don't know any family hotel there. + I should be glad I didn't, if it would keep you from going. You + deserve to put up at the Sign of the Savage in Vienna. Really, it's + a great blow to me to hear of that prospected sojourn. It's a + shame. I must see you, somehow, before you go. I'm in dreadfully + low spirits about it. + + "I was afraid your silence meant something wicked." + + Clemens replied promptly, urging a visit to Hartford, adding a + postscript for Mrs. Howells, characteristic enough to warrant + preservation. + + + P. S. to Mrs. Howells, in Boston: + + Feb. '78. +DEAR MRS. HOWELLS. Mrs. Clemens wrote you a letter, and handed it to me +half an hour ago, while I was folding mine to Mr. Howells. I laid that +letter on this table before me while I added the paragraph about R,'s +application. Since then I have been hunting and swearing, and swearing +and hunting, but I can't find a sign of that letter. It is the most +astonishing disappearance I ever heard of. Mrs. Clemens has gone off +driving--so I will have to try and give you an idea of her communication +from memory. Mainly it consisted of an urgent desire that you come to +see us next week, if you can possibly manage it, for that will be a +reposeful time, the turmoil of breaking up beginning the week after. She +wants you to tell her about Italy, and advise her in that connection, if +you will. Then she spoke of her plans--hers, mind you, for I never have +anything quite so definite as a plan. She proposes to stop a fortnight +in (confound the place, I've forgotten what it was,) then go and live in +Dresden till sometime in the summer; then retire to Switzerland for the +hottest season, then stay a while in Venice and put in the winter in +Munich. This program subject to modifications according to +circumstances. She said something about some little by-trips here and +there, but they didn't stick in my memory because the idea didn't charm +me. + +(They have just telephoned me from the Courant office that Bayard Taylor +and family have taken rooms in our ship, the Holsatia, for the 11th +April.) + +Do come, if you possibly can!--and remember and don't forget to avoid +letting Mrs. Clemens find out I lost her letter. Just answer her the +same as if you had got it. + Sincerely yours + S. L. CLEMENS. + + + The Howellses came, as invited, for a final reunion before the + breaking up. This was in the early half of March; the Clemenses + were to sail on the 11th of the following month. + + Orion Clemens, meantime, had conceived a new literary idea and was + piling in his MS. as fast as possible to get his brother's judgment + on it before the sailing-date. It was not a very good time to send + MS., but Mark Twain seems to have read it and given it some + consideration. "The Journey in Heaven," of his own, which he + mentions, was the story published so many years later under the + title of "Captain Stormfield's Visit to Heaven." He had began it in + 1868, on his voyage to San Francisco, it having been suggested by + conversations with Capt. Ned Wakeman, of one of the Pacific + steamers. Wakeman also appears in 'Roughing It,' Chap. L, as Capt. + Ned Blakely, and again in one of the "Rambling Notes of an Idle + Excursion," as "Captain Hurricane Jones." + + + To Orion Clemens, in Keokuk: + + HARTFORD, Mch. 23, 1878. +MY DEAR BRO.,--Every man must learn his trade--not pick it up. God +requires that he learn it by slow and painful processes. The apprentice- +hand, in black-smithing, in medicine, in literature, in everything, is a +thing that can't be hidden. It always shows. + +But happily there is a market for apprentice work, else the "Innocents +Abroad" would have had no sale. Happily, too, there's a wider market for +some sorts of apprentice literature than there is for the very best of +journey-work. This work of yours is exceedingly crude, but I am free to +say it is less crude than I expected it to be, and considerably better +work than I believed you could do, it is too crude to offer to any +prominent periodical, so I shall speak to the N. Y. Weekly people. To +publish it there will be to bury it. Why could not same good genius have +sent me to the N. Y. Weekly with my apprentice sketches? + +You should not publish it in book form at all--for this reason: it is +only an imitation of Verne--it is not a burlesque. But I think it may be +regarded as proof that Verne cannot be burlesqued. + +In accompanying notes I have suggested that you vastly modify the first +visit to hell, and leave out the second visit altogether. Nobody would, +or ought to print those things. You are not advanced enough in +literature to venture upon a matter requiring so much practice. Let me +show you what a man has got to go through: + +Nine years ago I mapped out my "Journey in Heaven." I discussed it with +literary friends whom I could trust to keep it to themselves. + +I gave it a deal of thought, from time to time. After a year or more I +wrote it up. It was not a success. Five years ago I wrote it again, +altering the plan. That MS is at my elbow now. It was a considerable +improvement on the first attempt, but still it wouldn't do--last year and +year before I talked frequently with Howells about the subject, and he +kept urging me to do it again. + +So I thought and thought, at odd moments and at last I struck what I +considered to be the right plan! Mind I have never altered the ideas, +from the first--the plan was the difficulty. When Howells was here last, +I laid before him the whole story without referring to my MS and he said: +"You have got it sure this time. But drop the idea of making mere +magazine stuff of it. Don't waste it. Print it by itself--publish it +first in England--ask Dean Stanley to endorse it, which will draw some of +the teeth of the religious press, and then reprint in America." I doubt +my ability to get Dean Stanley to do anything of the sort, but I shall do +the rest--and this is all a secret which you must not divulge. + +Now look here--I have tried, all these years, to think of some way of +"doing" hell too--and have always had to give it up. Hell, in my book, +will not occupy five pages of MS I judge--it will be only covert hints, +I suppose, and quickly dropped, I may end by not even referring to it. + +And mind you, in my opinion you will find that you can't write up hell so +it will stand printing. Neither Howells nor I believe in hell or the +divinity of the Savior, but no matter, the Savior is none the less a +sacred Personage, and a man should have no desire or disposition to refer +to him lightly, profanely, or otherwise than with the profoundest +reverence. + +The only safe thing is not to introduce him, or refer to him at all, +I suspect. I have entirely rewritten one book 3 (perhaps 4.) times, +changing the plan every time--1200 pages of MS. wasted and burned--and +shall tackle it again, one of these years and maybe succeed at last. +Therefore you need not expect to get your book right the first time. +Go to work and revamp or rewrite it. God only exhibits his thunder and +lightning at intervals, and so they always command attention. These are +God's adjectives. You thunder and lightning too much; the reader ceases +to get under the bed, by and by. + +Mr. Perkins will send you and Ma your checks when we are gone. But don't +write him, ever, except a single line in case he forgets the checks--for +the man is driven to death with work. + +I see you are half promising yourself a monthly return for your book. +In my experience, previously counted chickens never do hatch. How many +of mine I have counted! and never a one of them but failed! It is much +better to hedge disappointment by not counting.--Unexpected money is a +delight. The same sum is a bitterness when you expected more. + +My time in America is growing mighty short. Perhaps we can manage in +this way: Imprimis, if the N. Y. Weekly people know that you are my +brother, they will turn that fact into an advertisement--a thing of value +to them, but not to you and me. This must be prevented. I will write +them a note to say you have a friend near Keokuk, Charles S. Miller, +who has a MS for sale which you think is a pretty clever travesty on +Verne; and if they want it they might write to him in your care. Then if +any correspondence ensues between you and them, let Mollie write for you +and sign your name--your own hand writing representing Miller's. Keep +yourself out of sight till you make a strike on your own merits there is +no other way to get a fair verdict upon your merits. + +Later-I've written the note to Smith, and with nothing in it which he can +use as an advertisement. I'm called--Good bye-love to you both. + +We leave here next Wednesday for Elmira: we leave there Apl. 9 or 10--and +sail 11th + Yr Bro. + SAM. + + + In the letter that follows the mention of Annie and Sam refers, of + course, to the children of Mrs. Moffett, who had been, Pamela + Clemens. They were grown now, and Annie Moffett was married to + Charles L. Webster, who later was to become Mark Twain's business + partner. The Moffetts and Websters were living in Fredonia at this + time, and Clemens had been to pay them a good-by visit. The Taylor + dinner mentioned was a farewell banquet given to Bayard Taylor, who + had been appointed Minister to Germany, and was to sail on the ship + with Mark Twain. Mark Twain's mother was visiting in Fredonia when + this letter was written. + + + To Mrs. Jane Clemens, in Fredonia: + + Apr. 7, '78. +MY DEAR MOTHER,--I have told Livy all about Annie's beautiful house, and +about Sam and Charley, and about Charley's ingenious manufactures and his +strong manhood and good promise, and how glad I am that he and Annie +married. And I have told her about Annie's excellent house-keeping, also +about the great Bacon conflict; (I told you it was a hundred to one that +neither Livy nor the European powers had heard of that desolating +struggle.) + +And I have told her how beautiful you are in your age and how bright your +mind is with its old-time brightness, and how she and the children would +enjoy you. And I have told her how singularly young Pamela is looking, +and what a fine large fellow Sam is, and how ill the lingering syllable +"my" to his name fits his port and figure. + +Well, Pamela, after thinking it over for a day or so, I came near +inquiring about a state-room in our ship for Sam, to please you, but my +wiser former resolution came back to me. It is not for his good that he +have friends in the ship. His conduct in the Bacon business shows that +he will develop rapidly into a manly man as soon as he is cast loose from +your apron strings. + +You don't teach him to push ahead and do and dare things for himself, but +you do just the reverse. You are assisted in your damaging work by the +tyrannous ways of a village--villagers watch each other and so make +cowards of each other. After Sam shall have voyaged to Europe by +himself, and rubbed against the world and taken and returned its cuffs, +do you think he will hesitate to escort a guest into any whisky-mill in +Fredonia when he himself has no sinful business to transact there? +No, he will smile at the idea. If he avoids this courtesy now from +principle, of course I find no fault with it at all--only if he thinks it +is principle he may be mistaken; a close examination may show it is only +a bowing to the tyranny of public opinion. + +I only say it may--I cannot venture to say it will. Hartford is not a +large place, but it is broader than to have ways of that sort. Three or +four weeks ago, at a Moody and Sankey meeting, the preacher read a letter +from somebody "exposing" the fact that a prominent clergyman had gone +from one of those meetings, bought a bottle of lager beer and drank it on +the premises (a drug store.) + +A tempest of indignation swept the town. Our clergymen and everybody +else said the "culprit" had not only done an innocent thing, but had done +it in an open, manly way, and it was nobody's right or business to find +fault with it. Perhaps this dangerous latitude comes of the fact that we +never have any temperance "rot" going on in Hartford. + +I find here a letter from Orion, submitting some new matter in his story +for criticism. When you write him, please tell him to do the best he can +and bang away. I can do nothing further in this matter, for I have but 3 +days left in which to settle a deal of important business and answer a +bushel and a half of letters. I am very nearly tired to death. + +I was so jaded and worn, at the Taylor dinner, that I found I could not +remember 3 sentences of the speech I had memorized, and therefore got up +and said so and excused myself from speaking. I arrived here at 3 +o'clock this morning. I think the next 3 days will finish me. The idea +of sitting down to a job of literary criticism is simply ludicrous. + +A young lady passenger in our ship has been placed under Livy's charge. +Livy couldn't easily get out of it, and did not want to, on her own +account, but fully expected I would make trouble when I heard of it. +But I didn't. A girl can't well travel alone, so I offered no objection. +She leaves us at Hamburg. So I've got 6 people in my care, now--which is +just 6 too many for a man of my unexecutive capacity. I expect nothing +else but to lose some of them overboard. + +We send our loving good-byes to all the household and hope to see you +again after a spell. + Affly Yrs. + SAM. + + + There are no other American letters of this period. The Clemens + party, which included Miss Clara Spaulding, of Elmira, sailed as + planned, on the Holsatia, April 11, 1878. As before stated, Bayard + Taylor was on the ship; also Murat Halstead and family. On the eve + of departure, Clemens sent to Howells this farewell word: + + "And that reminds me, ungrateful dog that I am, that I owe as much + to your training as the rude country job-printer owes to the city + boss who takes him in hand and teaches him the right way to handle + his art. I was talking to Mrs. Clemens about this the other day, + and grieving because I never mentioned it to you, thereby seeming to + ignore it, or to be unaware of it. Nothing that has passed under + your eye needs any revision before going into a volume, while all my + other stuff does need so much." + + A characteristic tribute, and from the heart. + + The first European letter came from Frankfort, a rest on their way + to Heidelberg. + + + To W. D. Howells, in Boston: + + FRANKFORT ON THE MAIN, May 4, 1878. +MY DEAR HOWELLS,--I only propose to write a single line to say we are +still around. Ah, I have such a deep, grateful, unutterable sense of +being "out of it all." I think I foretaste some of the advantages of +being dead. Some of the joy of it. I don't read any newspapers or care +for them. When people tell me England has declared war, I drop the +subject, feeling that it is none of my business; when they tell me Mrs. +Tilton has confessed and Mr. B. denied, I say both of them have done that +before, therefore let the worn stub of the Plymouth white-wash brush be +brought out once more, and let the faithful spit on their hands and get +to work again regardless of me--for I am out of it all. + +We had 2 almost devilish weeks at sea (and I tell you Bayard Taylor is a +really lovable man--which you already knew) then we staid a week in the +beautiful, the very beautiful city of Hamburg; and since then we have +been fooling along, 4 hours per day by rail, with a courier, spending the +other 20 in hotels whose enormous bedchambers and private parlors are an +overpowering marvel to me: Day before yesterday, in Cassel, we had a love +of a bedroom ,31 feet long, and a parlor with 2 sofas, 12 chairs, a +writing desk and 4 tables scattered around, here and there in it. Made +of red silk, too, by George. + +The times and times I wish you were along! You could throw some fun into +the journey; whereas I go on, day by day, in a smileless state of solemn +admiration. + +What a paradise this is! What clean clothes, what good faces, what +tranquil contentment, what prosperity, what genuine freedom, what superb +government. And I am so happy, for I am responsible for none of it. I +am only here to enjoy. How charmed I am when I overhear a German word +which I understand. With love from us 2 to you 2. + + MARK. + +P. S. We are not taking six days to go from Hamburg to Heidelberg +because we prefer it. Quite on the contrary. Mrs. Clemens picked up a +dreadful cold and sore throat on board ship and still keeps them in +stock--so she could only travel 4 hours a day. She wanted to dive +straight through, but I had different notions about the wisdom of it. +I found that 4 hours a day was the best she could do. Before I forget +it, our permanent address is Care Messrs. Koester & Co., Backers, +Heidelberg. We go there tomorrow. + +Poor Susy! From the day we reached German soil, we have required Rosa to +speak German to the children--which they hate with all their souls. The +other morning in Hanover, Susy came to us (from Rosa, in the nursery) and +said, in halting syllables, "Papa, vie viel uhr ist es?"--then turned +with pathos in her big eyes, and said, "Mamma, I wish Rosa was made in +English." + +(Unfinished) + + + Frankfort was a brief halting-place, their destination being + Heidelberg. They were presently located there in the beautiful + Schloss hotel, which overlooks the old castle with its forest + setting, the flowing Neckar, and the distant valley of the Rhine. + Clemens, who had discovered the location, and loved it, toward the + end of May reported to Howells his felicities. + + + Part of letter to W. D. Howells, in Boston: + + SCHLOSS-HOTEL HEIDELBERG, + Sunday, a. m., May 26, 1878. +MY DEAR HOWELLS,--....divinely located. From this airy porch among the +shining groves we look down upon Heidelberg Castle, and upon the swift +Neckar, and the town, and out over the wide green level of the Rhine +valley--a marvelous prospect. We are in a Cul-de-sac formed of hill- +ranges and river; we are on the side of a steep mountain; the river at +our feet is walled, on its other side, (yes, on both sides,) by a steep +and wooded mountain-range which rises abruptly aloft from the water's +edge; portions of these mountains are densely wooded; the plain of the +Rhine, seen through the mouth of this pocket, has many and peculiar +charms for the eye. + +Our bedroom has two great glass bird-cages (enclosed balconies) one +looking toward the Rhine valley and sunset, the other looking up the +Neckar cul-de-sac, and naturally we spend nearly all our time in these- +when one is sunny the other is shady. We have tables and chairs in them; +we do our reading, writing, studying, smoking and suppering in them. + +The view from these bird-cages is my despair. The pictures change from +one enchanting aspect to another in ceaseless procession, never keeping +one form half an hour, and never taking on an unlovely one. + +And then Heidelberg on a dark night! It is massed, away down there, +almost right under us, you know, and stretches off toward the valley. +Its curved and interlacing streets are a cobweb, beaded thick with +lights--a wonderful thing to see; then the rows of lights on the arched +bridges, and their glinting reflections in the water; and away at the far +end, the Eisenbahnhof, with its twenty solid acres of glittering gas- +jets, a huge garden, as one may say, whose every plant is a flame. + +These balconies are the darlingest things. I have spent all the morning +in this north one. Counting big and little, it has 256 panes of glass in +it; so one is in effect right out in the free sunshine, and yet sheltered +from wind and rain--and likewise doored and curtained from whatever may +be going on in the bedroom. It must have been a noble genius who devised +this hotel. Lord, how blessed is the repose, the tranquillity of this +place! Only two sounds; the happy clamor of the birds in the groves, and +the muffled music of the Neckar, tumbling over the opposing dykes. It is +no hardship to lie awake awhile, nights, for this subdued roar has +exactly the sound of a steady rain beating upon a roof. It is so healing +to the spirit; and it bears up the thread of one's imaginings as the +accompaniment bears up a song. + +While Livy and Miss Spaulding have been writing at this table, I have sat +tilted back, near by, with a pipe and the last Atlantic, and read Charley +Warner's article with prodigious enjoyment. I think it is exquisite. +I think it must be the roundest and broadest and completest short essay +he has ever written. It is clear, and compact, and charmingly done. + +The hotel grounds join and communicate with the Castle grounds; so we and +the children loaf in the winding paths of those leafy vastnesses a great +deal, and drink beer and listen to excellent music. + +When we first came to this hotel, a couple of weeks ago, I pointed to a +house across the river, and said I meant to rent the centre room on the +3d floor for a work-room. Jokingly we got to speaking of it as my +office; and amused ourselves with watching "my people" daily in their +small grounds and trying to make out what we could of their dress, &c., +without a glass. Well, I loafed along there one day and found on that +house the only sign of the kind on that side of the river: "Moblirte +Wohnung zu Vermiethen!" I went in and rented that very room which I had +long ago selected. There was only one other room in the whole double- +house unrented. + +(It occurs to me that I made a great mistake in not thinking to deliver a +very bad German speech, every other sentence pieced out with English, at +the Bayard Taylor banquet in New York. I think I could have made it one +of the features of the occasion.)--[He used this plan at a gathering of +the American students in Heidelberg, on July 4th, with great effect; so +his idea was not wasted.] + +We left Hartford before the end of March, and I have been idle ever +since. I have waited for a call to go to work--I knew it would come. +Well, it began to come a week ago; my note-book comes out more and more +frequently every day since; 3 days ago I concluded to move my manuscript +over to my den. Now the call is loud and decided at last. So tomorrow I +shall begin regular, steady work, and stick to it till middle of July or +1st August, when I look for Twichell; we will then walk about Germany 2 +or 3 weeks, and then I'll go to work again--(perhaps in Munich.) + +We both send a power of love to the Howellses, and we do wish you were +here. Are you in the new house? Tell us about it. + Yrs Ever + MARK. + + + There has been no former mention in the letters of the coming of + Twichell; yet this had been a part of the European plan. Mark Twain + had invited his walking companion to make a tramp with him through + Europe, as his guest. Material for the new book would grow faster + with Twichell as a companion; and these two in spite of their widely + opposed views concerning Providence and the general scheme of + creation, were wholly congenial comrades. Twichell, in Hartford, + expecting to receive the final summons to start, wrote: "Oh, my! do + you realize, Mark, what a symposium it is to be? I do. To begin + with, I am thoroughly tired, and the rest will be worth everything. + To walk with you and talk with you for weeks together--why, it's my + dream of luxury." + + August 1st brought Twichell, and the friends set out without delay + on a tramp through the Black Forest, making short excursions at + first, but presently extending them in the direction of Switzerland. + Mrs. Clemens and the others remained in Heidelberg, to follow at + their leisure. To Mrs. Clemens her husband sent frequent reports of + their wanderings. It will be seen that their tramp did not confine + itself to pedestrianism, though they did, in fact, walk a great + deal, and Mark Twain in a note to his mother declared, "I loathe all + travel, except on foot." The reports to Mrs. Clemens follow: + + + Letters to Mrs. Clemens, in Heidelberg: + + ALLERHEILIGEN Aug. 5, 1878 8:30 p.m. +Livy darling, we had a rattling good time to-day, but we came very near +being left at Baden-Baden, for instead of waiting in the waiting-room, we +sat down on the platform to wait where the trains come in from the other +direction. We sat there full ten minutes--and then all of a sudden it +occurred to me that that was not the right place. + +On the train the principal of the big English school at Nauheim (of which +Mr. Scheiding was a teacher), introduced himself to me, and then he +mapped out our day for us (for today and tomorrow) and also drew a map +and gave us directions how to proceed through Switzerland. He had his +entire school with him, taking them on a prodigious trip through +Switzerland--tickets for the round trip ten dollars apiece. He has done +this annually for 10 years. We took a post carriage from Aachen to +Otterhofen for 7 marks--stopped at the "Pflug" to drink beer, and saw +that pretty girl again at a distance. Her father, mother, and two +brothers received me like an ancient customer and sat down and talked as +long as I had any German left. The big room was full of red-vested +farmers (the Gemeindrath of the district, with the Burgermeister at the +head,) drinking beer and talking public business. They had held an +election and chosen a new member and had been drinking beer at his +expense for several hours. (It was intensely Black-foresty.) + +There was an Australian there (a student from Stuttgart or somewhere,) +and Joe told him who I was and he laid himself out to make our course +plain, for us--so I am certain we can't get lost between here and +Heidelberg. + +We walked the carriage road till we came to that place where one sees the +foot path on the other side of the ravine, then we crossed over and took +that. For a good while we were in a dense forest and judged we were +lost, but met a native women who said we were all right. We fooled along +and got there at 6 p.m.--ate supper, then followed down the ravine to the +foot of the falls, then struck into a blind path to see where it would +go, and just about dark we fetched up at the Devil's Pulpit on top of the +hills. Then home. And now to bed, pretty sleepy. Joe sends love and I +send a thousand times as much, my darling. + S. L. C. + + + HOTEL GENNIN. +Livy darling, we had a lovely day jogged right along, with a good horse +and sensible driver--the last two hours right behind an open carriage +filled with a pleasant German family--old gentleman and 3 pretty +daughters. At table d'hote tonight, 3 dishes were enough for me, and +then I bored along tediously through the bill of fare, with a back-ache, +not daring to get up and bow to the German family and leave. I meant to +sit it through and make them get up and do the bowing; but at last Joe +took pity on me and said he would get up and drop them a curtsy and put +me out of my misery. I was grateful. He got up and delivered a +succession of frank and hearty bows, accompanying them with an atmosphere +of good-fellowship which would have made even an English family +surrender. Of course the Germans responded--then I got right up and they +had to respond to my salaams, too. So "that was done." + +We walked up a gorge and saw a tumbling waterfall which was nothing to +Giessbach, but it made me resolve to drop you a line and urge you to go +and see Giessbach illuminated. Don't fail--but take a long day's rest, +first. I love you, sweetheart. + SAML. + + + OVER THE GEMMI PASS. + 4.30 p.m. Saturday, Aug. 24, 1878. +Livy darling, Joe and I have had a most noble day. Started to climb (on +foot) at 8.30 this morning among the grandest peaks! Every half hour +carried us back a month in the season. We left them harvesting 2d crop +of hay. At 9 we were in July and found ripe strawberries; at 9.30 we +were in June and gathered flowers belonging to that month; at 10 we were +in May and gathered a flower which appeared in Heidelberg the 17th of +that month; also forget-me-nots, which disappeared from Heidelberg about +mid-May; at 11.30 we were in April (by the flowers;) at noon we had rain +and hail mixed, and wind and enveloping fogs, and considered it March; at +12.30 we had snowbanks above us and snowbanks below us, and considered it +February. Not good February, though, because in the midst of the wild +desolation the forget-me-not still bloomed, lovely as ever. + +What a flower garden the Gemmi Pass is! After I had got my hands full +Joe made me a paper bag, which I pinned to my lapel and filled with +choice specimens. I gathered no flowers which I had ever gathered before +except 4 or 5 kinds. We took it leisurely and I picked all I wanted to. +I mailed my harvest to you a while ago. Don't send it to Mrs. Brooks +until you have looked it over, flower by flower. It will pay. + +Among the clouds and everlasting snows I found a brave and bright little +forget-me-not growing in the very midst of a smashed and tumbled stone- +debris, just as cheerful as if the barren and awful domes and ramparts +that towered around were the blessed walls of heaven. I thought how +Lilly Warner would be touched by such a gracious surprise, if she, +instead of I, had seen it. So I plucked it, and have mailed it to her +with a note. + +Our walk was 7 hours--the last 2 down a path as steep as a ladder, +almost, cut in the face of a mighty precipice. People are not allowed to +ride down it. This part of the day's work taxed our knees, I tell you. +We have been loafing about this village (Leukerbad) for an hour, now we +stay here over Sunday. Not tired at all. (Joe's hat fell over the +precipice--so he came here bareheaded.) I love you, my darling. + + SAML. + + + ST. NICHOLAS, Aug. 26th, '78. +Livy darling, we came through a-whooping today, 6 hours tramp up steep +hills and down steep hills, in mud and water shoe-deep, and in a steady +pouring rain which never moderated a moment. I was as chipper and fresh +as a lark all the way and arrived without the slightest sense of fatigue. +But we were soaked and my shoes full of water, so we ate at once, +stripped and went to bed for 2 1/2 hours while our traps were thoroughly +dried, and our boots greased in addition. Then we put our clothes on hot +and went to table d'hote. + +Made some nice English friends and shall see them at Zermatt tomorrow. + +Gathered a small bouquet of new flowers, but they got spoiled. I sent +you a safety-match box full of flowers last night from Leukerbad. + +I have just telegraphed you to wire the family news to me at Riffel +tomorrow. I do hope you are all well and having as jolly a time as we +are, for I love you, sweetheart, and also, in a measure, the Bays.-- +[Little Susy's word for "babies."]--Give my love to Clara Spaulding and +also to the cubs. + SAML. + + + This, as far as it goes, is a truer and better account of the + excursion than Mark Twain gave in the book that he wrote later. A + Tramp Abroad has a quality of burlesque in it, which did not belong + to the journey at all, but was invented to satisfy the craving for + what the public conceived to be Mark Twain's humor. The serious + portions of the book are much more pleasing--more like himself. + The entire journey, as will be seen, lasted one week more than a + month. + + Twichell also made his reports home, some of which give us + interesting pictures of his walking partner. In one place he wrote: + "Mark is a queer fellow. There is nothing he so delights in as a + swift, strong stream. You can hardly get him to leave one when once + he is within the influence of its fascinations." + + Twichell tells how at Kandersteg they were out together one evening + where a brook comes plunging down from Gasternthal and how he pushed + in a drift to see it go racing along the current. "When I got back + to the path Mark was running down stream after it as hard as he + could go, throwing up his hands and shouting in the wildest ecstasy, + and when a piece went over a fall and emerged to view in the foam + below he would jump up and down and yell. He said afterward that he + had not been so excited in three months." + + In other places Twichell refers to his companion's consideration for + the feeling of others, and for animals. "When we are driving, his + concern is all about the horse. He can't bear to see the whip used, + or to see a horse pull hard." + +After the walk over Gemmi Pass he wrote: "Mark to-day was immensely +absorbed in flowers. He scrambled around and gathered a great variety, +and manifested the intensest pleasure in them. He crowded a pocket of +his note-book with his specimens, and wanted more room." + +Whereupon Twichell got out his needle and thread and some stiff paper he +had and contrived the little paper bag to hang to the front of his vest. + +The tramp really ended at Lausanne, where Clemens joined his party, but a +short excursion to Chillon and Chamonix followed, the travelers finally +separating at Geneva, Twichell to set out for home by way of England, +Clemens to remain and try to write the story of their travels. He +hurried a good-by letter after his comrade: + + + To Rev. J. H. Twichell: + + (No date) +DEAR OLD JOE,--It is actually all over! I was so low-spirited at the +station yesterday, and this morning, when I woke, I couldn't seem to +accept the dismal truth that you were really gone, and the pleasant +tramping and talking at an end. Ah, my boy! it has been such a rich +holiday to me, and I feel under such deep and honest obligations to you +for coming. I am putting out of my mind all memory of the times when I +misbehaved toward you and hurt you: I am resolved to consider it +forgiven, and to store up and remember only the charming hours of the +journeys and the times when I was not unworthy to be with you and share a +companionship which to me stands first after Livy's. It is justifiable +to do this; for why should I let my small infirmities of disposition live +and grovel among my mental pictures of the eternal sublimities of the +Alps? + +Livy can't accept or endure the fact that you are gone. But you are, +and we cannot get around it. So take our love with you, and bear it also +over the sea to Harmony, and God bless you both. + + MARK. + + + From Switzerland the Clemens party worked down into Italy, sight- + seeing, a diversion in which Mark Twain found little enough of + interest. He had seen most of the sights ten years before, when his + mind was fresh. He unburdened himself to Twichell and to Howells, + after a period of suffering. + + + To J. H. Twichell, in Hartford: + + ROME, Nov. 3, '78. +DEAR JOE,--.....I have received your several letters, and we have +prodigiously enjoyed them. How I do admire a man who can sit down and +whale away with a pen just the same as if it was fishing--or something +else as full of pleasure and as void of labor. I can't do it; else, in +common decency, I would when I write to you. Joe, if I can make a book +out of the matter gathered in your company over here, the book is safe; +but I don't think I have gathered any matter before or since your visit +worth writing up. I do wish you were in Rome to do my sightseeing for +me. Rome interests me as much as East Hartford could, and no more. That +is, the Rome which the average tourist feels an interest in; but there +are other things here which stir me enough to make life worth living. +Livy and Clara Spaulding are having a royal time worshiping the old +Masters, and I as good a time gritting my ineffectual teeth over them. + +A friend waits for me. A power of love to you all. + Amen. + MARK. + + + In his letter to Howells he said: "I wish I could give those sharp + satires on European life which you mention, but of course a man + can't write successful satire except he be in a calm, judicial good- + humor; whereas I hate travel, and I hate hotels, and I hate the + opera, and I hate the old masters. In truth, I don't ever seem to + be in a good-enough humor with anything to satirize it. No, I want + to stand up before it and curse it and foam at the mouth, or take a + club and pound it to rags and pulp. I have got in two or three + chapters about Wagner's operas, and managed to do it without showing + temper, but the strain of another such effort would burst me!" + + From Italy the Clemens party went to Munich, where they had arranged + in advance for winter quarters. Clemens claims, in his report of + the matter to Howells, that he took the party through without the + aid of a courier, though thirty years later, in some comment which + he set down on being shown the letter, he wrote concerning this + paragraph: "Probably a lie." He wrote, also, that they acquired a + great affection for Fraulein Dahlweiner: "Acquired it at once and it + outlasted the winter we spent in her house." + + + To W. D. Howells, in Boston: + + No 1a, Karlstrasse, 2e Stock. + Care Fraulein Dahlweiner. + MUNICH, Nov. 17, 1878. +MY DEAR HOWELLS,--We arrived here night before last, pretty well fagged: +an 8-hour pull from Rome to Florence; a rest there of a day and two +nights; then 5 1/2 hours to Bologna; one night's rest; then from noon to +10:30 p.m. carried us to Trent, in the Austrian Tyrol, where the +confounded hotel had not received our message, and so at that miserable +hour, in that snowy region, the tribe had to shiver together in fireless +rooms while beds were prepared and warmed, then up at 6 in the morning +and a noble view of snow-peaks glittering in the rich light of a full +moon while the hotel-devils lazily deranged a breakfast for us in the +dreary gloom of blinking candles; then a solid 12 hours pull through the +loveliest snow ranges and snow-draped forest--and at 7 p.m. we hauled up, +in drizzle and fog, at the domicile which had been engaged for us ten +months before. Munich did seem the horriblest place, the most desolate +place, the most unendurable place!--and the rooms were so small, the +conveniences so meagre, and the porcelain stoves so grim, ghastly, +dismal, intolerable! So Livy and Clara (Spaulding) sat down forlorn, +and cried, and I retired to a private, place to pray. By and by we all +retired to our narrow German beds; and when Livy and I finished talking +across the room, it was all decided that we would rest 24 hours then pay +whatever damages were required, and straightway fly to the south of +France. + +But you see, that was simply fatigue. Next morning the tribe fell in +love with the rooms, with the weather, with Munich, and head over heels +in love with Fraulein Dahlweiner. We got a larger parlor--an ample one +--threw two communicating bedrooms into one, for the children, and now we +are entirely comfortable. The only apprehension, at present, is that the +climate may not be just right for the children, in which case we shall +have to go to France, but it will be with the sincerest regret. + +Now I brought the tribe through from Rome, myself. We never had so +little trouble before. The next time anybody has a courier to put out to +nurse, I shall not be in the market. + +Last night the forlornities had all disappeared; so we gathered around +the lamp, after supper, with our beer and my pipe, and in a condition of +grateful snugness tackled the new magazines. I read your new story +aloud, amid thunders of applause, and we all agreed that Captain Jenness +and the old man with the accordion-hat are lovely people and most +skillfully drawn--and that cabin-boy, too, we like. Of course we are all +glad the girl is gone to Venice--for there is no place like Venice. Now +I easily understand that the old man couldn't go, because you have a +purpose in sending Lyddy by herself: but you could send the old man over +in another ship, and we particularly want him along. Suppose you don't +need him there? What of that? Can't you let him feed the doves? Can't +you let him fall in the canal occasionally? Can't you let his good- +natured purse be a daily prey to guides and beggar-boys? Can't you let +him find peace and rest and fellowship under Pere Jacopo's kindly wing? +(However, you are writing the book, not I--still, I am one of the people +you are writing it for, you understand.) I only want to insist, in a +friendly way, that the old man shall shed his sweet influence frequently +upon the page--that is all. + +The first time we called at the convent, Pere Jacopo was absent; the next +(Just at this moment Miss Spaulding spoke up and said something about +Pere Jacopo--there is more in this acting of one mind upon another than +people think) time, he was there, and gave us preserved rose-leaves to +eat, and talked about you, and Mrs. Howells, and Winnie, and brought out +his photographs, and showed us a picture of "the library of your new +house," but not so--it was the study in your Cambridge house. He was +very sweet and good. He called on us next day; the day after that we +left Venice, after a pleasant sojourn Of 3 or 4 weeks. He expects to +spend this winter in Munich and will see us often, he said. + +Pretty soon, I am going to write something, and when I finish it I shall +know whether to put it to itself or in the "Contributors' Club." That +"Contributors' Club" was a most happy idea. By the way, I think that the +man who wrote the paragraph beginning at the bottom of page 643 has said +a mighty sound and sensible thing. I wish his suggestion could be +adopted. + +It is lovely of you to keep that old pipe in such a place of honor. + +While it occurs to me, I must tell you Susie's last. She is sorely +badgered with dreams; and her stock dream is that she is being eaten up +by bears. She is a grave and thoughtful child, as you will remember. +Last night she had the usual dream. This morning she stood apart (after +telling it,) for some time, looking vacantly at the floor, and absorbed +in meditation. At last she looked up, and with the pathos of one who +feels he has not been dealt by with even-handed fairness, said "But +Mamma, the trouble is, that I am never the bear, but always the person." + +It would not have occurred to me that there might be an advantage, even +in a dream, in occasionally being the eater, instead of always the party +eaten, but I easily perceived that her point was well taken. + +I'm sending to Heidelberg for your letter and Winnie's, and I do hope +they haven't been lost. + +My wife and I send love to you all. + Yrs ever, + MARK. + + + The Howells story, running at this time in the Atlantic, and so much + enjoyed by the Clemens party, was "The Lady of the Aroostook." The + suggestions made for enlarging the part of the "old man" are + eminently characteristic. + + Mark Twain's forty-third birthday came in Munich, and in his letter + conveying this fact to his mother we get a brief added outline of + the daily life in that old Bavarian city. Certainly, it would seem + to have been a quieter and more profitable existence than he had + known amid the confusion of things left behind in, America. + + + To Mrs. Jane Clemens and Mrs. Moffett, in America: + + No. 1a Karlstrasse, + Dec. 1, MUNICH. 1878. +MY DEAR MOTHER AND SISTER,--I broke the back of life yesterday and +started down-hill toward old age. This fact has not produced any effect +upon me that I can detect. + +I suppose we are located here for the winter. I have a pleasant work- +room a mile from here where I do my writing. The walk to and from that +place gives me what exercise I need, and all I take. We staid three +weeks in Venice, a week in Florence, a fortnight in Rome, and arrived +here a couple of weeks ago. Livy and Miss Spaulding are studying drawing +and German, and the children have a German day-governess. I cannot see +but that the children speak German as well as they do English. + +Susie often translates Livy's orders to the servants. I cannot work and +study German at the same time: so I have dropped the latter, and do not +even read the language, except in the morning paper to get the news. + +We have all pretty good health, latterly, and have seldom had to call the +doctor. The children have been in the open air pretty constantly for +months now. In Venice they were on the water in the gondola most of the +time, and were great friends with our gondolier; and in Rome and Florence +they had long daily tramps, for Rosa is a famous hand to smell out the +sights of a strange place. Here they wander less extensively. + +The family all join in love to you all and to Orion and Mollie. + Affly + Your son + SAM. + + + + +XIX. + +LETTERS 1879. RETURN TO AMERICA. THE GREAT GRANT REUNION + +Life went on very well in Munich. Each day the family fell more in love +with Fraulein Dahlweiner and her house. + +Mark Twain, however, did not settle down to his work readily. His +"pleasant work-room" provided exercise, but no inspiration. When he +discovered he could not find his Swiss note-book he was ready to give up +his travel-writing altogether. In the letter that follows we find him +much less enthusiastic concerning his own performances than over the +story by Howells, which he was following in the Atlantic. + +The "detective" chapter mentioned in this letter was not included in +'A Tramp Abroad.' It was published separately, as 'The Stolen White +Elephant' in a volume bearing that title. The play, which he had now +found "dreadfully witless and flat," was no other than "Simon Wheeler, +Detective," which he had once regarded so highly. The "Stewart" referred +to was the millionaire merchant, A. T. Stewart, whose body was stolen in +the expectation of reward. + + + To W. D. Howells, in Boston: + + MUNICH, Jan. 21, (1879) +MY DEAR HOWELLS,--It's no use, your letter miscarried in some way and is +lost. The consul has made a thorough search and says he has not been +able to trace it. It is unaccountable, for all the letters I did not +want arrived without a single grateful failure. Well, I have read-up, +now, as far as you have got, that is, to where there's a storm at sea +approaching,--and we three think you are clear, out-Howellsing Howells. +If your literature has not struck perfection now we are not able to see +what is lacking. It is all such truth--truth to the life; every where +your pen falls it leaves a photograph. I did imagine that everything had +been said about life at sea that could be said, but no matter, it was all +a failure and lies, nothing but lies with a thin varnish of fact,--only +you have stated it as it absolutely is. And only you see people and +their ways, and their insides and outsides as they are, and make them +talk as they do talk. I think you are the very greatest artist in these +tremendous mysteries that ever lived. There doesn't seem to be anything +that can be concealed from your awful all-seeing eye. It must be a +cheerful thing for one to live with you and be aware that you are going +up and down in him like another conscience all the time. Possibly you +will not be a fully accepted classic until you have been dead a hundred +years,--it is the fate of the Shakespeares and of all genuine prophets, +--but then your books will be as common as Bibles, I believe. You're not +a weed, but an oak; not a summer-house, but a cathedral. In that day I +shall still be in the Cyclopedias, too, thus: "Mark Twain; history and +occupation unknown--but he was personally acquainted with Howells." +There--I could sing your praises all day, and feel and believe every bit +of it. + +My book is half finished; I wish to heaven it was done. I have given up +writing a detective novel--can't write a novel, for I lack the faculty; +but when the detectives were nosing around after Stewart's loud remains, +I threw a chapter into my present book in which I have very extravagantly +burlesqued the detective business--if it is possible to burlesque that +business extravagantly. You know I was going to send you that detective +play, so that you could re-write it. Well I didn't do it because I +couldn't find a single idea in it that could be useful to you. It was +dreadfully witless and flat. I knew it would sadden you and unfit you +for work. + +I have always been sorry we threw up that play embodying Orion which you +began. It was a mistake to do that. Do keep that MS and tackle it +again. It will work out all right; you will see. I don't believe that +that character exists in literature in so well-developed a condition as +it exists in Orion's person. Now won't you put Orion in a story? Then +he will go handsomely into a play afterwards. How deliciously you could +paint him--it would make fascinating reading--the sort that makes a +reader laugh and cry at the same time, for Orion is as good and +ridiculous a soul as ever was. + +Ah, to think of Bayard Taylor! It is too sad to talk about. I was so +glad there was not a single sting and so many good praiseful words in the +Atlantic's criticism of Deukalion. + Love to you all + Yrs Ever + MARK + +We remain here till middle of March. + + + In 'A Tramp Abroad' there is an incident in which the author + describes himself as hunting for a lost sock in the dark, in a vast + hotel bedroom at Heilbronn. The account of the real incident, as + written to Twichell, seems even more amusing. + + The "Yarn About the Limburger Cheese and the Box of Guns," like "The + Stolen White Elephant," did not find place in the travel-book, but + was published in the same volume with the elephant story, added to + the rambling notes of "An Idle Excursion." + + With the discovery of the Swiss note-book, work with Mark Twain was + going better. His letter reflects his enthusiasm. + + + To Rev. J. H. Twichell, in Hartford: + + MUNICH, Jan 26 '79. +DEAR OLD JOE,--Sunday. Your delicious letter arrived exactly at the +right time. It was laid by my plate as I was finishing breakfast at 12 +noon. Livy and Clara, (Spaulding) arrived from church 5 minutes later; +I took a pipe and spread myself out on the sofa, and Livy sat by and +read, and I warmed to that butcher the moment he began to swear. There +is more than one way of praying, and I like the butcher's way because the +petitioner is so apt to be in earnest. I was peculiarly alive to his +performance just at this time, for another reason, to wit: Last night I +awoke at 3 this morning, and after raging to my self for 2 interminable +hours, I gave it up. I rose, assumed a catlike stealthiness, to keep +from waking Livy, and proceeded to dress in the pitch dark. Slowly but +surely I got on garment after garment--all down to one sock; I had one +slipper on and the other in my hand. Well, on my hands and knees I crept +softly around, pawing and feeling and scooping along the carpet, and +among chair-legs for that missing sock; I kept that up; and still kept it +up and kept it up. At first I only said to myself, "Blame that sock," +but that soon ceased to answer; my expletives grew steadily stronger and +stronger,--and at last, when I found I was lost, I had to sit flat down +on the floor and take hold of something to keep from lifting the roof off +with the profane explosion that was trying to get out of me. I could see +the dim blur of the window, but of course it was in the wrong place and +could give me no information as to where I was. But I had one comfort +--I had not waked Livy; I believed I could find that sock in silence if +the night lasted long enough. So I started again and softly pawed all +over the place,--and sure enough at the end of half an hour I laid my +hand on the missing article. I rose joyfully up and butted the wash-bowl +and pitcher off the stand and simply raised----so to speak. Livy +screamed, then said, "Who is that? what is the matter?" I said "There +ain't anything the matter--I'm hunting for my sock." She said, "Are you +hunting for it with a club?" + +I went in the parlor and lit the lamp, and gradually the fury subsided +and the ridiculous features of the thing began to suggest themselves. +So I lay on the sofa, with note-book and pencil, and transferred the +adventure to our big room in the hotel at Heilbronn, and got it on paper +a good deal to my satisfaction. + +I found the Swiss note-book, some time ago. When it was first lost I was +glad of it, for I was getting an idea that I had lost my faculty of +writing sketches of travel; therefore the loss of that note-book would +render the writing of this one simply impossible, and let me gracefully +out; I was about to write to Bliss and propose some other book, when the +confounded thing turned up, and down went my heart into my boots. But +there was now no excuse, so I went solidly to work--tore up a great part +of the MS written in Heidelberg,--wrote and tore up,--continued to write +and tear up,--and at last, reward of patient and noble persistence, my +pen got the old swing again! + +Since then I'm glad Providence knew better what to do with the Swiss +note-book than I did, for I like my work, now, exceedingly, and often +turn out over 30 MS pages a day and then quit sorry that Heaven makes the +days so short. + +One of my discouragements had been the belief that my interest in this +tour had been so slender that I couldn't gouge matter enough out of it to +make a book. What a mistake. I've got 900 pages written (not a word in +it about the sea voyage) yet I stepped my foot out of Heidelberg for the +first time yesterday,--and then only to take our party of four on our +first pedestrian tour--to Heilbronn. I've got them dressed elaborately +in walking costume--knapsacks, canteens, field-glasses, leather leggings, +patent walking shoes, muslin folds around their hats, with long tails +hanging down behind, sun umbrellas, and Alpenstocks. They go all the way +to Wimpfen by rail-thence to Heilbronn in a chance vegetable cart drawn +by a donkey and a cow; I shall fetch them home on a raft; and if other +people shall perceive that that was no pedestrian excursion, they +themselves shall not be conscious of it.--This trip will take 100 pages +or more,--oh, goodness knows how many! for the mood is everything, not +the material, and I already seem to see 300 pages rising before me on +that trip. Then, I propose to leave Heidelberg for good. Don't you see, +the book (1800 MS pages,) may really be finished before I ever get to +Switzerland? + +But there's one thing; I want to tell Frank Bliss and his father to be +charitable toward me in,--that is, let me tear up all the MS I want to, +and give me time to write more. I shan't waste the time--I haven't the +slightest desire to loaf, but a consuming desire to work, ever since I +got back my swing. And you see this book is either going to be compared +with the Innocents Abroad, or contrasted with it, to my disadvantage. +I think I can make a book that will be no dead corpse of a thing and I +mean to do my level best to accomplish that. + +My crude plans are crystalizing. As the thing stands now, I went to +Europe for three purposes. The first you know, and must keep secret, +even from the Blisses; the second is to study Art; and the third to +acquire a critical knowledge of the German language. My MS already shows +that the two latter objects are accomplished. It shows that I am moving +about as an Artist and a Philologist, and unaware that there is any +immodesty in assuming these titles. Having three definite objects has +had the effect of seeming to enlarge my domain and give me the freedom of +a loose costume. It is three strings to my bow, too. + +Well, your butcher is magnificent. He won't stay out of my mind.--I keep +trying to think of some way of getting your account of him into my book +without his being offended--and yet confound him there isn't anything you +have said which he would see any offense in,--I'm only thinking of his +friends--they are the parties who busy themselves with seeing things for +people. But I'm bound to have him in. I'm putting in the yarn about the +Limburger cheese and the box of guns, too--mighty glad Howells declined +it. It seems to gather richness and flavor with age. I have very nearly +killed several companies with that narrative,--the American Artists Club, +here, for instance, and Smith and wife and Miss Griffith (they were here +in this house a week or two.) I've got other chapters that pretty nearly +destroyed the same parties, too. + +O, Switzerland! the further it recedes into the enriching haze of time, +the more intolerably delicious the charm of it and the cheer of it and +the glory and majesty and solemnity and pathos of it grow. Those +mountains had a soul; they thought; they spoke,--one couldn't hear it +with the ears of the body, but what a voice it was!--and how real. Deep +down in my memory it is sounding yet. Alp calleth unto Alp!--that +stately old Scriptural wording is the right one for God's Alps and God's +ocean. How puny we were in that awful presence--and how painless it was +to be so; how fitting and right it seemed, and how stingless was the +sense of our unspeakable insignificance. And Lord how pervading were the +repose and peace and blessedness that poured out of the heart of the +invisible Great Spirit of the Mountains. + +Now what is it? There are mountains and mountains and mountains in this +world--but only these take you by the heart-strings. I wonder what the +secret of it is. Well, time and time again it has seemed to me that I +must drop everything and flee to Switzerland once more. It is a longing +--a deep, strong, tugging longing--that is the word. We must go again, +Joe.--October days, let us get up at dawn and breakfast at the tower. I +should like that first rate. + +Livy and all of us send deluges of love to you and Harmony and all the +children. I dreamed last night that I woke up in the library at home and +your children were frolicing around me and Julia was sitting in my lap; +you and Harmony and both families of Warners had finished their welcomes +and were filing out through the conservatory door, wrecking Patrick's +flower pots with their dress skirts as they went. Peace and plenty abide +with you all! + MARK. + +I want the Blisses to know their part of this letter, if possible. They +will see that my delay was not from choice. + + + Following the life of Mark Twain, whether through his letters or + along the sequence of detailed occurrence, we are never more than a + little while, or a little distance, from his brother Orion. In one + form or another Orion is ever present, his inquiries, his proposals, + his suggestions, his plans for improving his own fortunes, command + our attention. He was one of the most human creatures that ever + lived; indeed, his humanity excluded every form of artificiality-- + everything that needs to be acquired. Talented, trusting, child- + like, carried away by the impulse of the moment, despite a keen + sense of humor he was never able to see that his latest plan or + project was not bound to succeed. Mark Twain loved him, pitied him + --also enjoyed him, especially with Howells. Orion's new plan to + lecture in the interest of religion found its way to Munich, with + the following result: + + + To W. D. Howells, in Boston: + + MUNICH, Feb. 9. (1879) +MY DEAR HOWELLS,--I have just received this letter from Orion--take care +of it, for it is worth preserving. I got as far as 9 pages in my answer +to it, when Mrs. Clemens shut down on it, and said it was cruel, and made +me send the money and simply wish his lecture success. I said I couldn't +lose my 9 pages--so she said send them to you. But I will acknowledge +that I thought I was writing a very kind letter. + +Now just look at this letter of Orion's. Did you ever see the +grotesquely absurd and the heart-breakingly pathetic more closely joined +together? Mrs. Clemens said "Raise his monthly pension." So I wrote to +Perkins to raise it a trifle. + +Now only think of it! He still has 100 pages to write on his lecture, +yet in one inking of his pen he has already swooped around the United +States and invested the result! + +You must put him in a book or a play right away. You are the only man +capable of doing it. You might die at any moment, and your very greatest +work would be lost to the world. I could write Orion's simple biography, +and make it effective, too, by merely stating the bald facts--and this I +will do if he dies before I do; but you must put him into romance. This +was the understanding you and I had the day I sailed. + +Observe Orion's career--that is, a little of it: (1) He has belonged to +as many as five different religious denominations; last March he withdrew +from the deaconship in a Congregational Church and the Superintendency of +its Sunday School, in a speech in which he said that for many months (it +runs in my mind that he said 13 years,) he had been a confirmed infidel, +and so felt it to be his duty to retire from the flock. + +2. After being a republican for years, he wanted me to buy him a +democratic newspaper. A few days before the Presidential election, he +came out in a speech and publicly went over to the democrats; he +prudently "hedged" by voting for 6 state republicans, also. + +The new convert was made one of the secretaries of the democratic +meeting, and placed in the list of speakers. He wrote me jubilantly of +what a ten-strike he was going to make with that speech. All right--but +think of his innocent and pathetic candor in writing me something like +this, a week later: + +"I was more diffident than I had expected to be, and this was increased +by the silence with which I was received when I came forward; so I seemed +unable to get the fire into my speech which I had calculated upon, and +presently they began to get up and go out; and in a few minutes they all +rose up and went away." + +How could a man uncover such a sore as that and show it to another? Not +a word of complaint, you see--only a patient, sad surprise. + +3. His next project was to write a burlesque upon Paradise Lost. + +4. Then, learning that the Times was paying Harte $100 a column for +stories, he concluded to write some for the same price. I read his first +one and persuaded him not to write any more. + +5. Then he read proof on the N. Y. Eve. Post at $10 a week and meekly +observed that the foreman swore at him and ordered him around "like a +steamboat mate." + +6. Being discharged from that post, he wanted to try agriculture--was +sure he could make a fortune out of a chicken farm. I gave him $900 and +he went to a ten-house village a miles above Keokuk on the river bank-- +this place was a railway station. He soon asked for money to buy a horse +and light wagon,--because the trains did not run at church time on Sunday +and his wife found it rather far to walk. + +For a long time I answered demands for "loans" and by next mail always +received his check for the interest due me to date. In the most +guileless way he let it leak out that he did not underestimate the value +of his custom to me, since it was not likely that any other customer of +mine paid his interest quarterly, and this enabled me to use my capital +twice in 6 months instead of only once. But alas, when the debt at last +reached $1800 or $2500 (I have forgotten which) the interest ate too +formidably into his borrowings, and so he quietly ceased to pay it or +speak of it. At the end of two years I found that the chicken farm had +long ago been abandoned, and he had moved into Keokuk. Later in one of +his casual moments, he observed that there was no money in fattening a +chicken on 65 cents worth of corn and then selling it for 50. + +7. Finally, if I would lend him $500 a year for two years, (this was 4 +or 5 years ago,) he knew he could make a success as a lawyer, and would +prove it. This is the pension which we have just increased to $600. The +first year his legal business brought him $5. It also brought him an +unremunerative case where some villains were trying to chouse some negro +orphans out of $700. He still has this case. He has waggled it around +through various courts and made some booming speeches on it. The negro +children have grown up and married off, now, I believe, and their +litigated town-lot has been dug up and carted off by somebody--but Orion +still infests the courts with his documents and makes the welkin ring +with his venerable case. The second year, he didn't make anything. The +third he made $6, and I made Bliss put a case in his hands--about half an +hour's work. Orion charged $50 for it--Bliss paid him $15. Thus four or +five years of laving has brought him $26, but this will doubtless be +increased when he gets done lecturing and buys that "law library." +Meantime his office rent has been $60 a year, and he has stuck to that +lair day by day as patiently as a spider. + +8. Then he by and by conceived the idea of lecturing around America as +"Mark Twain's Brother"--that to be on the bills. Subject of proposed +lecture, "On the, Formation of Character." + +9. I protested, and he got on his warpaint, couched his lance, and ran a +bold tilt against total abstinence and the Red Ribbon fanatics. It +raised a fine row among the virtuous Keokukians. + +10. I wrote to encourage him in his good work, but I had let a mail +intervene; so by the time my letter reached him he was already winning +laurels as a Red Ribbon Howler. + +11. Afterward he took a rabid part in a prayer-meeting epidemic; dropped +that to travesty Jules Verne; dropped that, in the middle of the last +chapter, last March, to digest the matter of an infidel book which he +proposed to write; and now he comes to the surface to rescue our "noble +and beautiful religion" from the sacrilegious talons of Bob Ingersoll. + +Now come! Don't fool away this treasure which Providence has laid at +your feet, but take it up and use it. One can let his imagination run +riot in portraying Orion, for there is nothing so extravagant as to be +out of character with him. + +Well-good-bye, and a short life and a merry one be yours. Poor old +Methusaleh, how did he manage to stand it so long? + Yrs ever, + MARK. + + + To Orion Clemens + (Unsent and inclosed with the foregoing, to W. D. Howells): + + MUNICH, Feb. 9, (1879) +MY DEAR BRO.,--Yours has just arrived. I enclose a draft on Hartford for +$25. You will have abandoned the project you wanted it for, by the time +it arrives,--but no matter, apply it to your newer and present project, +whatever it is. You see I have an ineradicable faith in your +unsteadfastness,--but mind you, I didn't invent that faith, you conferred +it on me yourself. But fire away, fire away! I don't see why a +changeable man shouldn't get as much enjoyment out of his changes, and +transformations and transfigurations as a steadfast man gets out of +standing still and pegging at the same old monotonous thing all the time. +That is to say, I don't see why a kaleidoscope shouldn't enjoy itself as +much as a telescope, nor a grindstone have as good a time as a whetstone, +nor a barometer as good a time as a yardstick. I don't feel like girding +at you any more about fickleness of purpose, because I recognize and +realize at last that it is incurable; but before I learned to accept this +truth, each new weekly project of yours possessed the power of throwing +me into the most exhausting and helpless convulsions of profanity. But +fire away, now! Your magic has lost its might. I am able to view your +inspirations dispassionately and judicially, now, and say "This one or +that one or the other one is not up to your average flight, or is above +it, or below it." + +And so, without passion, or prejudice, or bias of any kind, I sit in +judgment upon your lecture project, and say it was up to your average, +it was indeed above it, for it had possibilities in it, and even +practical ones. While I was not sorry you abandoned it, I should not be +sorry if you had stuck to it and given it a trial. But on the whole you +did the wise thing to lay it aside, I think, because a lecture is a most +easy thing to fail in; and at your time of life, and in your own town, +such a failure would make a deep and cruel wound in your heart and in +your pride. It was decidedly unwise in you to think for a moment of +coming before a community who knew you, with such a course of lectures; +because Keokuk is not unaware that you have been a Swedenborgian, a +Presbyterian, a Congregationalist, and a Methodist (on probation), and +that just a year ago you were an infidel. If Keokuk had gone to your +lecture course, it would have gone to be amused, not instructed, for when +a man is known to have no settled convictions of his own he can't +convince other people. They would have gone to be amused and that would +have been a deep humiliation to you. It could have been safe for you to +appear only where you were unknown--then many of your hearers would think +you were in earnest. And they would be right. You are in earnest while +your convictions are new. But taking it by and large, you probably did +best to discard that project altogether. But I leave you to judge of +that, for you are the worst judge I know of. + +(Unfinished.) + + + That Mark Twain in many ways was hardly less child-like than his + brother is now and again revealed in his letters. He was of + steadfast purpose, and he possessed the driving power which Orion + Clemens lacked; but the importance to him of some of the smaller + matters of life, as shown in a letter like the following, bespeaks a + certain simplicity of nature which he never outgrew: + + + To Rev. J. H. Twichell, in Hartford: + + MUNICH, Feb. 24. (1879) +DEAR OLD JOE,--It was a mighty good letter, Joe--and that idea of yours +is a rattling good one. But I have not sot down here to answer your +letter,--for it is down at my study,--but only to impart some +information. + +For a months I had not shaved without crying. I'd spend 3/4 of an hour +whetting away on my hand--no use, couldn't get an edge. Tried a razor +strop-same result. So I sat down and put in an hour thinking out the +mystery. Then it seemed plain--to wit: my hand can't give a razor an +edge, it can only smooth and refine an edge that has already been given. +I judge that a razor fresh from the hone is this shape V--the long point +being the continuation of the edge--and that after much use the shape is +this V--the attenuated edge all worn off and gone. By George I knew that +was the explanation. And I knew that a freshly honed and freshly +strapped razor won't cut, but after strapping on the hand as a final +operation, it will cut.--So I sent out for an oil-stone; none to be had, +but messenger brought back a little piece of rock the size of a Safety- +match box--(it was bought in a shoemaker's shop) bad flaw in middle of +it, too, but I put 4 drops of fine Olive oil on it, picked out the razor +marked "Thursday" because it was never any account and would be no loss +if I spoiled it--gave it a brisk and reckless honing for 10 minutes, then +tried it on a hair--it wouldn't cut. Then I trotted it through a +vigorous 20-minute course on a razor-strap and tried it on a hair-it +wouldn't cut--tried it on my face--it made me cry--gave it a 5-minute +stropping on my hand, and my land, what an edge she had! We thought we +knew what sharp razors were when we were tramping in Switzerland, but it +was a mistake--they were dull beside this old Thursday razor of mine-- +which I mean to name Thursday October Christian, in gratitude. I took my +whetstone, and in 20 minutes I put two more of my razors in splendid +condition--but I leave them in the box--I never use any but Thursday O. +C., and shan't till its edge is gone--and then I'll know how to restore +it without any delay. + +We all go to Paris next Thursday--address, Monroe & Co., Bankers. + With love + Ys Ever + MARK. + + + In Paris they found pleasant quarters at the Hotel Normandy, but it + was a chilly, rainy spring, and the travelers gained a rather poor + impression of the French capital. Mark Twain's work did not go + well, at first, because of the noises of the street. But then he + found a quieter corner in the hotel and made better progress. In a + brief note to Aldrich he said: "I sleep like a lamb and write like a + lion--I mean the kind of a lion that writes--if any such." He + expected to finish the book in six weeks; that is to say, before + returning to America. He was looking after its illustrations + himself, and a letter to Frank Bliss, of The American Publishing + Company, refers to the frontpiece, which, from time to time, has + caused question as to its origin. To Bliss he says: "It is a thing + which I manufactured by pasting a popular comic picture into the + middle of a celebrated Biblical one--shall attribute it to Titian. + It needs to be engraved by a master." + + The weather continued bad in France and they left there in July to + find it little better in England. They had planned a journey to + Scotland to visit Doctor Brown, whose health was not very good. In + after years Mark Twain blamed himself harshly for not making the + trip, which he declared would have meant so much to Mrs. Clemens. + He had forgotten by that time the real reasons for not going--the + continued storms and uncertainty of trains (which made it barely + possible for them to reach Liverpool in time for their sailing- + date), and with characteristic self-reproach vowed that only + perversity and obstinacy on his part had prevented the journey to + Scotland. From Liverpool, on the eve of sailing, he sent Doctor + Brown a good-by word. + + + To Dr. John Brown, in Edinburgh: + + WASHINGTON HOTEL, LIME STREET, LIVERPOOL. + Aug. (1879) +MY DEAR MR. BROWN,--During all the 15 months we have been spending on the +continent, we have been promising ourselves a sight of you as our latest +and most prized delight in a foreign land--but our hope has failed, our +plan has miscarried. One obstruction after another intruded itself, and +our short sojourn of three or four weeks on English soil was thus +frittered gradually away, and we were at last obliged to give up the idea +of seeing you at all. It is a great disappointment, for we wanted to +show you how much "Megalopis" has grown (she is 7 now) and what a fine +creature her sister is, and how prettily they both speak German. There +are six persons in my party, and they are as difficult to cart around as +nearly any other menagerie would be. My wife and Miss Spaulding are +along, and you may imagine how they take to heart this failure of our +long promised Edinburgh trip. We never even wrote you, because we were +always so sure, from day to day, that our affairs would finally so shape +themselves as to let us get to Scotland. But no,--everything went wrong +we had only flying trips here and there in place of the leisurely ones +which we had planned. + +We arrived in Liverpool an hour ago very tired, and have halted at this +hotel (by the advice of misguided friends)--and if my instinct and +experience are worth anything, it is the very worst hotel on earth, +without any exception. We shall move to another hotel early in the +morning to spend to-morrow. We sail for America next day in the +"Gallic." + +We all join in the sincerest love to you, and in the kindest remembrance +to "Jock"--[Son of Doctor Brown.]--and your sister. + Truly yours, + S. L. CLEMENS. + + + It was September 3, 1879, that Mark Twain returned to America by the + steamer Gallic. In the seventeen months of his absence he had taken + on a "traveled look" and had added gray hairs. A New York paper + said of his arrival that he looked older than when he went to + Germany, and that his hair had turned quite gray. + + Mark Twain had not finished his book of travel in Paris--in fact, + it seemed to him far from complete--and he settled down rather + grimly to work on it at Quarry Farm. When, after a few days no word + of greeting came from Howells, Clemens wrote to ask if he were dead + or only sleeping. Howells hastily sent a line to say that he had + been sleeping "The sleep of a torpid conscience. I will feign that + I did not know where to write you; but I love you and all of yours, + and I am tremendously glad that you are home again. When and where + shall we meet? Have you come home with your pockets full of + Atlantic papers?" Clemens, toiling away at his book, was, as usual, + not without the prospect of other plans. Orion, as literary + material, never failed to excite him. + + + To W. D. Howells, in Boston: + + ELMIRA, Sept. 15, 1879. +MY DEAR HOWELLS,--When and where? Here on the farm would be an elegant +place to meet, but of course you cannot come so far. So we will say +Hartford or Belmont, about the beginning of November. The date of our +return to Hartford is uncertain, but will be three or four weeks hence, +I judge. I hope to finish my book here before migrating. + +I think maybe I've got some Atlantic stuff in my head, but there's none +in MS, I believe. + +Say--a friend of mine wants to write a play with me, I to furnish the +broad-comedy cuss. I don't know anything about his ability, but his +letter serves to remind me of our old projects. If you haven't used +Orion or Old Wakeman, don't you think you and I can get together and +grind out a play with one of those fellows in it? Orion is a field which +grows richer and richer the more he mulches it with each new top-dressing +of religion or other guano. Drop me an immediate line about this, won't +you? I imagine I see Orion on the stage, always gentle, always +melancholy, always changing his politics and religion, and trying to +reform the world, always inventing something, and losing a limb by a new +kind of explosion at the end of each of the four acts. Poor old chap, +he is good material. I can imagine his wife or his sweetheart +reluctantly adopting each of his new religious in turn, just in time to +see him waltz into the next one and leave her isolated once more. + +(Mem. Orion's wife has followed him into the outer darkness, after 30 +years' rabid membership in the Presbyterian Church.) + +Well, with the sincerest and most abounding love to you and yours, from +all this family, I am, + Yrs ever + MARK. + + + The idea of the play interested Howells, but he had twinges of + conscience in the matter of using Orion as material. He wrote: + "More than once I have taken the skeleton of that comedy of ours and + viewed it with tears..... I really have a compunction or two about + helping to put your brother into drama. You can say that he is your + brother, to do what you like with him, but the alien hand might + inflict an incurable hurt on his tender heart." + + As a matter of fact, Orion Clemens had a keen appreciation of his + own shortcomings, and would have enjoyed himself in a play as much + as any observer of it. Indeed, it is more than likely that he would + have been pleased at the thought of such distinguished + dramatization. From the next letter one might almost conclude that + he had received a hint of this plan, and was bent upon supplying + rich material. + + + To W. D. Howells, in Boston: + + ELMIRA, Oct. 9 '79. +MY DEAR HOWELLS,--Since my return, the mail facilities have enabled Orion +to keep me informed as to his intentions. Twenty-eight days ago it was +his purpose to complete a work aimed at religion, the preface to which he +had already written. Afterward he began to sell off his furniture, with +the idea of hurrying to Leadville and tackling silver-mining--threw up +his law den and took in his sign. Then he wrote to Chicago and St. Louis +newspapers asking for a situation as "paragrapher"--enclosing a taste of +his quality in the shape of two stanzas of "humorous rhymes." By a later +mail on the same day he applied to New York and Hartford insurance +companies for copying to do. + +However, it would take too long to detail all his projects. They +comprise a removal to south-west Missouri; application for a reporter's +berth on a Keokuk paper; application for a compositor's berth on a St. +Louis paper; a re-hanging of his attorney's sign, "though it only creaks +and catches no flies;" but last night's letter informs me that he has +retackled the religious question, hired a distant den to write in, +applied to my mother for $50 to re-buy his furniture, which has advanced +in value since the sale--purposes buying $25 worth of books necessary to +his labors which he had previously been borrowing, and his first chapter +is already on its way to me for my decision as to whether it has enough +ungodliness in it or not. Poor Orion! + +Your letter struck me while I was meditating a project to beguile you, +and John Hay and Joe Twichell, into a descent upon Chicago which I dream +of making, to witness the re-union of the great Commanders of the Western +Army Corps on the 9th of next month. My sluggish soul needs a fierce +upstirring, and if it would not get it when Grant enters the meeting +place I must doubtless "lay" for the final resurrection. Can you and Hay +go? At the same time, confound it, I doubt if I can go myself, for this +book isn't done yet. But I would give a heap to be there. I mean to +heave some holiness into the Hartford primaries when I go back; and if +there was a solitary office in the land which majestic ignorance and +incapacity, coupled with purity of heart, could fill, I would run for it. +This naturally reminds me of Bret Harte--but let him pass. + +We propose to leave here for New York Oct. 21, reaching Hartford 24th or +25th. If, upon reflection, you Howellses find, you can stop over here on +your way, I wish you would do it, and telegraph me. Getting pretty +hungry to see you. I had an idea that this was your shortest way home, +but like as not my geography is crippled again--it usually is. + Yrs ever + MARK. + + + The "Reunion of the Great Commanders," mentioned in the foregoing, + was a welcome to General Grant after his journey around the world. + Grant's trip had been one continuous ovation--a triumphal march. + In '79 most of his old commanders were still alive, and they had + planned to assemble in Chicago to do him honor. A Presidential year + was coming on, but if there was anything political in the project + there were no surface indications. Mark Twain, once a Confederate + soldier, had long since been completely "desouthernized"--at least + to the point where he felt that the sight of old comrades paying + tribute to the Union commander would stir his blood as perhaps it + had not been stirred, even in that earlier time, when that same + commander had chased him through the Missouri swamps. Grant, + indeed, had long since become a hero to Mark Twain, though it is + highly unlikely that Clemens favored the idea of a third term. Some + days following the preceding letter an invitation came for him to be + present at the Chicago reunion; but by this time he had decided not + to go. The letter he wrote has been preserved. + + + To Gen. William E. Strong, in Chicago: + + FARMINGTON AVENUE, HARTFORD. + Oct. 28, 1879. +GEN. WM. E. STRONG, CH'M, + AND GENTLEMEN OF THE COMMITTEE: + +I have been hoping during several weeks that it might be my good fortune +to receive an invitation to be present on that great occasion in Chicago; +but now that my desire is accomplished my business matters have so shaped +themselves as to bar me from being so far from home in the first half of +November. It is with supreme regret that I lost this chance, for I have +not had a thorough stirring up for some years, and I judged that if I +could be in the banqueting hall and see and hear the veterans of the Army +of the Tennessee at the moment that their old commander entered the room, +or rose in his place to speak, my system would get the kind of upheaval +it needs. General Grant's progress across the continent is of the +marvelous nature of the returning Napoleon's progress from Grenoble to +Paris; and as the crowning spectacle in the one case was the meeting with +the Old Guard, so, likewise, the crowning spectacle in the other will be +our great captain's meeting with his Old Guard--and that is the very +climax which I wanted to witness. + +Besides, I wanted to see the General again, any way, and renew the +acquaintance. He would remember me, because I was the person who did not +ask him for an office. However, I consume your time, and also wander +from the point--which is, to thank you for the courtesy of your +invitation, and yield up my seat at the table to some other guest who may +possibly grace it better, but will certainly not appreciate its +privileges more, than I should. + With great respect, + I am, Gentlemen, + Very truly yours, + S. L. CLEMENS. + +Private:--I beg to apologize for my delay, gentlemen, but the card of +invitation went to Elmira, N. Y. and hence has only just now reached me. + + + This letter was not sent. He reconsidered and sent an acceptance, + agreeing to speak, as the committee had requested. Certainly there + was something picturesque in the idea of the Missouri private who + had been chased for a rainy fortnight through the swamps of Ralls + County being selected now to join in welcome to his ancient enemy. + + The great reunion was to be something more than a mere banquet. It + would continue for several days, with processions, great + assemblages, and much oratory. + + Mark Twain arrived in Chicago in good season to see it all. Three + letters to Mrs. Clemens intimately present his experiences: his + enthusiastic enjoyment and his own personal triumph. + + The first was probably written after the morning of his arrival. + The Doctor Jackson in it was Dr. A. Reeves Jackson, the guide- + dismaying "Doctor" of Innocents Abroad. + + + To Mrs. Clemens, in Hartford: + + PALMER HOUSE, CHICAGO, Nov. 11. +Livy darling, I am getting a trifle leg-weary. Dr. Jackson called and +dragged me out of bed at noon, yesterday, and then went off. I went down +stairs and was introduced to some scores of people, and among them an +elderly German gentleman named Raster, who said his wife owed her life to +me--hurt in Chicago fire and lay menaced with death a long time, but the +Innocents Abroad kept her mind in a cheerful attitude, and so, with the +doctor's help for the body she pulled through.... They drove me to Dr. +Jackson's and I had an hour's visit with Mrs. Jackson. Started to walk +down Michigan Avenue, got a few steps on my way and met an erect, +soldierly looking young gentleman who offered his hand; said, "Mr. +Clemens, I believe--I wish to introduce myself--you were pointed out to +me yesterday as I was driving down street--my name is Grant." + +"Col. Fred Grant?" + +"Yes. My house is not ten steps away, and I would like you to come and +have a talk and a pipe, and let me introduce my wife." + +So we turned back and entered the house next to Jackson's and talked +something more than an hour and smoked many pipes and had a sociable good +time. His wife is very gentle and intelligent and pretty, and they have +a cunning little girl nearly as big as Bay but only three years old. +They wanted me to come in and spend an evening, after the banquet, with +them and Gen. Grant, after this grand pow-wow is over, but I said I was +going home Friday. Then they asked me to come Friday afternoon, when +they and the general will receive a few friends, and I said I would. +Col. Grant said he and Gen. Sherman used the Innocents Abroad as their +guide book when they were on their travels. + +I stepped in next door and took Dr. Jackson to the hotel and we played +billiards from 7 to 11.30 P.M. and then went to a beer-mill to meet some +twenty Chicago journalists--talked, sang songs and made speeches till 6 +o'clock this morning. Nobody got in the least degree "under the +influence," and we had a pleasant time. Read awhile in bed, slept till +11, shaved, went to breakfast at noon, and by mistake got into the +servants' hall. I remained there and breakfasted with twenty or thirty +male and female servants, though I had a table to myself. + +A temporary structure, clothed and canopied with flags, has been erected +at the hotel front, and connected with the second-story windows of a +drawing-room. It was for Gen. Grant to stand on and review the +procession. Sixteen persons, besides reporters, had tickets for this +place, and a seventeenth was issued for me. I was there, looking down on +the packed and struggling crowd when Gen. Grant came forward and was +saluted by the cheers of the multitude and the waving of ladies' +handkerchiefs--for the windows and roofs of all neighboring buildings +were massed full of life. Gen. Grant bowed to the people two or three +times, then approached my side of the platform and the mayor pulled me +forward and introduced me. It was dreadfully conspicuous. The General +said a word or so--I replied, and then said, "But I'll step back, +General, I don't want to interrupt your speech." + +"But I'm not going to make any--stay where you are--I'll get you to make +it for me." + +General Sherman came on the platform wearing the uniform of a full +General, and you should have heard the cheers. Gen. Logan was going to +introduce me, but I didn't want any more conspicuousness. + +When the head of the procession passed it was grand to see Sheridan, in +his military cloak and his plumed chapeau, sitting as erect and rigid as +a statue on his immense black horse--by far the most martial figure I +ever saw. And the crowd roared again. + +It was chilly, and Gen. Deems lent me his overcoat until night. He came +a few minutes ago--5.45 P.M., and got it, but brought Gen. Willard, who +lent me his for the rest of my stay, and will get another for himself +when he goes home to dinner. Mine is much too heavy for this warm +weather. + +I have a seat on the stage at Haverley's Theatre, tonight, where the Army +of the Tennessee will receive Gen. Grant, and where Gen. Sherman will +make a speech. At midnight I am to attend a meeting of the Owl Club. + +I love you ever so much, my darling, and am hoping to +get a word from you yet. + SAML. + + + Following the procession, which he describes, came the grand + ceremonies of welcome at Haverley's Theatre. The next letter is + written the following morning, or at least soiree time the following + day, after a night of ratification. + + + To Mrs. Clemens, in Hartford: + + CHICAGO, Nov. 12, '79. +Livy darling, it was a great time. There were perhaps thirty people on +the stage of the theatre, and I think I never sat elbow-to-elbow with so +many historic names before. Grant, Sherman, Sheridan, Schofield, Pope, +Logan, Augur, and so on. What an iron man Grant is! He sat facing the +house, with his right leg crossed over his left and his right boot-sole +tilted up at an angle, and his left hand and arm reposing on the arm of +his chair--you note that position? Well, when glowing references were +made to other grandees on the stage, those grandees always showed a +trifle of nervous consciousness--and as these references came frequently, +the nervous change of position and attitude were also frequent. But +Grant!--he was under a tremendous and ceaseless bombardment of praise and +gratulation, but as true as I'm sitting here he never moved a muscle of +his body for a single instant, during 30 minutes! You could have played +him on a stranger for an effigy. Perhaps he never would have moved, but +at last a speaker made such a particularly ripping and blood-stirring +remark about him that the audience rose and roared and yelled and stamped +and clapped an entire minute--Grant sitting as serene as ever--when Gen. +Sherman stepped to him, laid his hand affectionately on his shoulder, +bent respectfully down and whispered in his ear. Gen. Grant got up and +bowed, and the storm of applause swelled into a hurricane. He sat down, +took about the same position and froze to it till by and by there was +another of those deafening and protracted roars, when Sherman made him +get up and bow again. He broke up his attitude once more--the extent of +something more than a hair's breadth--to indicate me to Sherman when the +house was keeping up a determined and persistent call for me, and poor +bewildered Sherman, (who did not know me), was peering abroad over the +packed audience for me, not knowing I was only three feet from him and +most conspicuously located, (Gen. Sherman was Chairman.) + +One of the most illustrious individuals on that stage was "Ole Abe," the +historic war eagle. He stood on his perch--the old savage-eyed rascal-- +three or four feet behind Gen. Sherman, and as he had been in nearly +every battle that was mentioned by the orators his soul was probably +stirred pretty often, though he was too proud to let on. + +Read Logan's bosh, and try to imagine a burly and magnificent Indian, in +General's uniform, striking a heroic attitude and getting that stuff off +in the style of a declaiming school-boy. + +Please put the enclosed scraps in the drawer and I will scrap-book them. + +I only staid at the Owl Club till 3 this morning and drank little or +nothing. Went to sleep without whisky. Ich liebe dish. + + SAML. + + + But it is in the third letter that we get the climax. On the same + day he wrote a letter to Howells, which, in part, is very similar in + substance and need not be included here. + + A paragraph, however, must not be omitted. + + "Imagine what it was like to see a bullet-shredded old battle-flag + reverently unfolded to the gaze of a thousand middle-aged soldiers, + most of whom hadn't seen it since they saw it advancing over + victorious fields, when they were in their prime. And imagine what + it was like when Grant, their first commander, stepped into view + while they were still going mad over the flag, and then right in the + midst of it all somebody struck up, 'When we were marching through + Georgia.' Well, you should have heard the thousand voices lift that + chorus and seen the tears stream down. If I live a hundred years I + shan't ever forget these things, nor be able to talk about them .... + Grand times, my boy, grand times!" + + At the great banquet Mark Twain's speech had been put last on the + program, to hold the house. He had been invited to respond to the + toast of "The Ladies," but had replied that he had already responded + to that toast more than once. There was one class of the community, + he said, commonly overlooked on these occasions--the babies--he + would respond to that toast. In his letter to Howells he had not + been willing to speak freely of his personal triumph, but to Mrs. + Clemens he must tell it all, and with that child-like ingenuousness + which never failed him to his last day. + + + To Mrs. Clemens, in Hartford: + + CHICAGO, Nov. 14 '79. +A little after 5 in the morning. + +I've just come to my room, Livy darling, I guess this was the memorable +night of my life. By George, I never was so stirred since I was born. +I heard four speeches which I can never forget. One by Emory Storrs, one +by Gen. Vilas (O, wasn't it wonderful!) one by Gen. Logan (mighty +stirring), one by somebody whose name escapes me, and one by that +splendid old soul, Col. Bob Ingersoll,--oh, it was just the supremest +combination of English words that was ever put together since the world +began. My soul, how handsome he looked, as he stood on that table, in +the midst of those 500 shouting men, and poured the molten silver from +his lips! Lord, what an organ is human speech when it is played by a +master! All these speeches may look dull in print, but how the lightning +glared around them when they were uttered, and how the crowd roared in +response! It was a great night, a memorable night. I am so richly +repaid for my journey--and how I did wish with all my whole heart that +you were there to be lifted into the very seventh heaven of enthusiasm, +as I was. The army songs, the military music, the crashing applause-- +Lord bless me, it was unspeakable. + +Out of compliment they placed me last in the list--No. 15--I was to "hold +the crowd"--and bless my life I was in awful terror when No. 14. rose, +at a o'clock this morning and killed all the enthusiasm by delivering the +flattest, insipidest, silliest of all responses to "Woman" that ever a +weary multitude listened to. Then Gen. Sherman (Chairman) announced my +toast, and the crowd gave me a good round of applause as I mounted on top +of the dinner table, but it was only on account of my name, nothing more +--they were all tired and wretched. They let my first sentence go in. +silence, till I paused and added "we stand on common ground"--then they +burst forth like a hurricane and I saw that I had them! From that time +on, I stopped at the end of each sentence, and let the tornado of +applause and laughter sweep around me--and when I closed with "And if the +child is but the prophecy of the man, there are mighty few who will doubt +that he succeeded," I say it who oughtn't to say it, the house came down +with a crash. For two hours and a half, now, I've been shaking hands and +listening to congratulations. Gen. Sherman said, "Lord bless you, my +boy, I don't know how you do it--it's a secret that's beyond me--but it +was great--give me your hand again." + +And do you know, Gen. Grant sat through fourteen speeches like a graven +image, but I fetched him! I broke him up, utterly! He told me he +laughed till the tears came and every bone in his body ached. (And do +you know, the biggest part of the success of the speech lay in the fact +that the audience saw that for once in his life he had been knocked out +of his iron serenity.) + +Bless your soul, 'twas immense. I never was so proud in my life. Lots +and lots of people--hundreds I might say--told me my speech was the +triumph of the evening--which was a lie. Ladies, Tom, Dick and Harry- +even the policemen--captured me in the halls and shook hands, and scores +of army officers said "We shall always be grateful to you for coming." +General Pope came to bunt me up--I was afraid to speak to him on that +theatre stage last night, thinking it might be presumptuous to tackle a +man so high up in military history. Gen. Schofield, and other historic +men, paid their compliments. Sheridan was ill and could not come, but +I'm to go with a General of his staff and see him before I go to Col. +Grant's. Gen. Augur--well, I've talked with them all, received +invitations from them all--from people living everywhere--and as I said +before, it's a memorable night. I wouldn't have missed it for anything +in the world. + +But my sakes, you should have heard Ingersoll's speech on that table! +Half an hour ago he ran across me in the crowded halls and put his arms +about me and said "Mark, if I live a hundred years, I'll always be +grateful for your speech--Lord what a supreme thing it was." But I told +him it wasn't any use to talk, he had walked off with the honors of that +occasion by something of a majority. Bully boy is Ingersoll--traveled +with him in the cars the other day, and you can make up your mind we had +a good time. + +Of course I forgot to go and pay for my hotel car and so secure it, but +the army officers told me an hour ago to rest easy, they would go at +once, at this unholy hour of the night and compel the railways to do +their duty by me, and said "You don't need to request the Army of the +Tennessee to do your desires--you can command its services." + +Well, I bummed around that banquet hall from 8 in the evening till 2 in +the morning, talking with people and listening to speeches, and I never +ate a single bite or took a sup of anything but ice water, so if I seem +excited now, it is the intoxication of supreme enthusiasm. By George, it +was a grand night, a historical night. + +And now it is a quarter past 6 A.M.--so good bye and God bless you and +the Bays,--[Family word for babies]--my darlings + + SAML. + + +Show it to Joe if you want to--I saw some of his friends here. + +Mark Twain's admiration for Robert Ingersoll was very great, and we may +believe that he was deeply impressed by the Chicago speech, when we find +him, a few days later, writing to Ingersoll for a perfect copy to read to +a young girls' club in Hartford. Ingersoll sent the speech, also some of +his books, and the next letter is Mark Twain's acknowledgment. + + + To Col. Robert G. Ingersoll: + + HARTFORD, Dec. 14. +MY DEAR INGERSOLL,--Thank you most heartily for the books--I am devouring +them--they have found a hungry place, and they content it and satisfy it +to a miracle. I wish I could hear you speak these splendid chapters +before a great audience--to read them by myself and hear the boom of the +applause only in the ear of my imagination, leaves a something wanting-- +and there is also a still greater lack, your manner, and voice, and +presence. + +The Chicago speech arrived an hour too late, but I was all right anyway, +for I found that my memory had been able to correct all the errors. +I read it to the Saturday Club (of young girls) and told them to remember +that it was doubtful if its superior existed in our language. + Truly Yours, + S. L. CLEMENS. + + + The reader may remember Mark Twain's Whittier dinner speech of 1877, + and its disastrous effects. Now, in 1879, there was to be another + Atlantic gathering: a breakfast to Dr. Oliver Wendell Holmes, to + which Clemens was invited. He was not eager to accept; it would + naturally recall memories of two years before, but being urged by + both Howells and Warner, he agreed to attend if they would permit + him to speak. Mark Twain never lacked courage and he wanted to + redeem himself. To Howells he wrote: + + + To W. D. Howells, in Boston: + + HARTFORD, Nov. 28, 1879. +MY DEAR HOWELLS,--If anybody talks, there, I shall claim the right to say +a word myself, and be heard among the very earliest--else it would be +confoundedly awkward for me--and for the rest, too. But you may read +what I say, beforehand, and strike out whatever you choose. + +Of course I thought it wisest not to be there at all; but Warner took the +opposite view, and most strenuously. + +Speaking of Johnny's conclusion to become an outlaw, reminds me of +Susie's newest and very earnest longing--to have crooked teeth and +glasses--"like Mamma." + +I would like to look into a child's head, once, and see what its +processes are. + Yrs ever, + S. L. CLEMENS. + + + The matter turned out well. Clemens, once more introduced by + Howells--this time conservatively, it may be said--delivered a + delicate and fitting tribute to Doctor Holmes, full of graceful + humor and grateful acknowledgment, the kind of speech he should have + given at the Whittier dinner of two years before. No reference was + made to his former disaster, and this time he came away covered with + glory, and fully restored in his self-respect. + + + + +XX. + +LETTERS OF 1880, CHIEFLY TO HOWELLS. "THE PRINCE AND THE PAUPER." MARK +TWAIN MUGWUMP SOCIETY + +The book of travel,--[A Tramp Abroad.]--which Mark Twain had hoped to +finish in Paris, and later in Elmira, for some reason would not come to +an end. In December, in Hartford, he was still working on it, and he +would seem to have finished it, at last, rather by a decree than by any +natural process of authorship. This was early in January, 1880. To +Howells he reports his difficulties, and his drastic method of ending +them. + + + To W. D. Howells, in Boston: + + HARTFORD, Jan. 8, '80. +MY DEAR HOWELLS,--Am waiting for Patrick to come with the carriage. +Mrs. Clemens and I are starting (without the children) to stay +indefinitely in Elmira. The wear and tear of settling the house broke +her down, and she has been growing weaker and weaker for a fortnight. +All that time--in fact ever since I saw you--I have been fighting a life- +and-death battle with this infernal book and hoping to get done some day. +I required 300 pages of MS, and I have written near 600 since I saw you-- +and tore it all up except 288. This I was about to tear up yesterday and +begin again, when Mrs. Perkins came up to the billiard room and said, +"You will never get any woman to do the thing necessary to save her life +by mere persuasion; you see you have wasted your words for three weeks; +it is time to use force; she must have a change; take her home and leave +the children here." + +I said, "If there is one death that is painfuller than another, may I get +it if I don't do that thing." + +So I took the 288 pages to Bliss and told him that was the very last line +I should ever write on this book. (A book which required 2600 pages of +MS, and I have written nearer four thousand, first and last.) + +I am as soary (and flighty) as a rocket, to-day, with the unutterable joy +of getting that Old Man of the Sea off my back, where he has been +roosting for more than a year and a half. Next time I make a contract +before writing the book, may I suffer the righteous penalty and be burnt, +like the injudicious believer. + +I am mighty glad you are done your book (this is from a man who, above +all others, feels how much that sentence means) and am also mighty glad +you have begun the next (this is also from a man who knows the felicity +of that, and means straightway to enjoy it.) The Undiscovered starts off +delightfully--I have read it aloud to Mrs. C. and we vastly enjoyed it. + +Well, time's about up--must drop a line to Aldrich. + Yrs ever, + MARK. + + + In a letter which Mark Twain wrote to his brother Orion at this + period we get the first hint of a venture which was to play an + increasingly important part in the Hartford home and fortunes during + the next ten or a dozen years. This was the type-setting machine + investment, which, in the end, all but wrecked Mark Twain's + finances. There is but a brief mention of it in the letter to + Orion, and the letter itself is not worth preserving, but as + references to the "machine" appear with increasing frequency, it + seems proper to record here its first mention. In the same letter + he suggests to his brother that he undertake an absolutely truthful + autobiography, a confession in which nothing is to be withheld. He + cites the value of Casanova's memories, and the confessions of + Rousseau. Of course, any literary suggestion from "Brother Sam" was + gospel to Orion, who began at once piling up manuscript at a great + rate. + + Meantime, Mark Twain himself, having got 'A Tramp Abroad' on the + presses, was at work with enthusiasm on a story begun nearly three + years before at Quarry Farm-a story for children-its name, as he + called. it then, "The Little Prince and The Little Pauper." He was + presently writing to Howells his delight in the new work. + + + To W. D. Howells, in Boston: + + HARTFORD, Mch. 11, '80. +MY DEAR HOWELLS,--.....I take so much pleasure in my story that I am loth +to hurry, not wanting to get it done. Did I ever tell you the plot of +it? It begins at 9 a.m., Jan. 27, 1547, seventeen and a half hours +before Henry VIII's death, by the swapping of clothes and place, between +the prince of Wales and a pauper boy of the same age and countenance (and +half as much learning and still more genius and imagination) and after +that, the rightful small King has a rough time among tramps and ruffians +in the country parts of Kent, whilst the small bogus King has a gilded +and worshipped and dreary and restrained and cussed time of it on the +throne--and this all goes on for three weeks--till the midst of the +coronation grandeurs in Westminster Abbey, Feb. 20, when the ragged true +King forces his way in but cannot prove his genuineness--until the bogus +King, by a remembered incident of the first day is able to prove it for +him--whereupon clothes are changed and the coronation proceeds under the +new and rightful conditions. + +My idea is to afford a realizing sense of the exceeding severity of the +laws of that day by inflicting some of their penalties upon the King +himself and allowing him a chance to see the rest of them applied to +others--all of which is to account for certain mildnesses which +distinguished Edward VI's reign from those that preceded and followed it. + +Imagine this fact--I have even fascinated Mrs. Clemens with this yarn for +youth. My stuff generally gets considerable damning with faint praise +out of her, but this time it is all the other way. She is become the +horseleech's daughter and my mill doesn't grind fast enough to suit her. +This is no mean triumph, my dear sir. + +Last night, for the first time in ages, we went to the theatre--to see +Yorick's Love. The magnificence of it is beyond praise. The language is +so beautiful, the passion so fine, the plot so ingenious, the whole thing +so stirring, so charming, so pathetic! But I will clip from the Courant +--it says it right. + +And what a good company it is, and how like live people they all acted! +The "thee's" and the "thou's" had a pleasant sound, since it is the +language of the Prince and the Pauper. You've done the country a service +in that admirable work.... + Yrs Ever, + MARK. + + + The play, "Yorick's Love," mentioned in this letter, was one which + Howells had done for Lawrence Barrett. + + Onion Clemens, meantime, was forwarding his manuscript, and for once + seems to have won his brother's approval, so much so that Mark Twain + was willing, indeed anxious, that Howells should run the + "autobiography" in the Atlantic. We may imagine how Onion prized + the words of commendation which follow: + + + To Orion Clemens: + + May 6, '80. +MY DEAR BROTHER,--It is a model autobiography. + +Continue to develop your character in the same gradual inconspicuous and +apparently unconscious way. The reader, up to this time, may have his +doubts, perhaps, but he can't say decidedly, "This writer is not such a +simpleton as he has been letting on to be." Keep him in that state of +mind. If, when you shall have finished, the reader shall say, "The man +is an ass, but I really don't know whether he knows it or not," your work +will be a triumph. + +Stop re-writing. I saw places in your last batch where re-writing had +done formidable injury. Do not try to find those places, else you will +mar them further by trying to better them. It is perilous to revise a +book while it is under way. All of us have injured our books in that +foolish way. + +Keep in mind what I told you--when you recollect something which belonged +in an earlier chapter, do not go back, but jam it in where you are. +Discursiveness does not hurt an autobiography in the least. + +I have penciled the MS here and there, but have not needed to make any +criticisms or to knock out anything. + +The elder Bliss has heart disease badly, and thenceforth his life hangs +upon a thread. + Yr Bro + SAM. + + + But Howells could not bring himself to print so frank a confession + as Orion had been willing to make. "It wrung my heart," he said, + "and I felt haggard after I had finished it. The writer's soul is + laid bare; it is shocking." Howells added that the best touches in + it were those which made one acquainted with the writer's brother; + that is to say, Mark Twain, and that these would prove valuable + material hereafter--a true prophecy, for Mark Twain's early + biography would have lacked most of its vital incident, and at least + half of its background, without those faithful chapters, fortunately + preserved. Had Onion continued, as he began, the work might have + proved an important contribution to literature, but he went trailing + off into by-paths of theology and discussion where the interest was + lost. There were, perhaps, as many as two thousand pages of it, + which few could undertake to read. + + Mark Twain's mind was always busy with plans and inventions, many of + them of serious intent, some semi-serious, others of a purely + whimsical character. Once he proposed a "Modest Club," of which the + first and main qualification for membership was modesty. "At + present," he wrote, "I am the only member; and as the modesty + required must be of a quite aggravated type, the enterprise did seem + for a time doomed to stop dead still with myself, for lack of + further material; but upon reflection I have come to the conclusion + that you are eligible. Therefore, I have held a meeting and voted + to offer you the distinction of membership. I do not know that we + can find any others, though I have had some thought of Hay, Warner, + Twichell, Aldrich, Osgood, Fields, Higginson, and a few more-- + together with Mrs. Howells, Mrs. Clemens, and certain others of the + sex." + + Howells replied that the only reason he had for not joining the + Modest Club was that he was too modest--too modest to confess his + modesty. "If I could get over this difficulty I should like to + join, for I approve highly of the Club and its object.... It ought + to be given an annual dinner at the public expense. If you think I + am not too modest you may put my name down and I will try to think + the same of you. Mrs. Howells applauded the notion of the club from + the very first. She said that she knew one thing: that she was + modest enough, anyway. Her manner of saying it implied that the + other persons you had named were not, and created a painful + impression in my mind. I have sent your letter and the rules to + Hay, but I doubt his modesty. He will think he has a right to + belong to it as much as you or I; whereas, other people ought only + to be admitted on sufferance." + + Our next letter to Howells is, in the main, pure foolery, but we get + in it a hint what was to become in time one of Mask Twain's + strongest interests, the matter of copyright. He had both a + personal and general interest in the subject. His own books were + constantly pirated in Canada, and the rights of foreign authors were + not respected in America. We have already seen how he had drawn a + petition which Holmes, Lowell, Longfellow, and others were to sign, + and while nothing had come of this plan he had never ceased to + formulate others. Yet he hesitated when he found that the proposed + protection was likely to work a hardship to readers of the poorer + class. Once he wrote: "My notions have mightily changed lately.... + I can buy a lot of the copyright classics, in paper, at from three + to thirty cents apiece. These things must find their way into the + very kitchens and hovels of the country..... And even if the treaty + will kill Canadian piracy, and thus save me an average of $5,000 a + year, I am down on it anyway, and I'd like cussed well to write an + article opposing the treaty." + + + To W. D. Howells, in Belmont, Mass.: + + Thursday, June 6th, 1880. +MY DEAR HOWELLS,--There you stick, at Belmont, and now I'm going to +Washington for a few days; and of course, between you and Providence that +visit is going to get mixed, and you'll have been here and gone again +just about the time I get back. Bother it all, I wanted to astonish you +with a chapter or two from Orion's latest book--not the seventeen which +he has begun in the last four months, but the one which he began last +week. + +Last night, when I went to bed, Mrs. Clemens said, "George didn't take +the cat down to the cellar--Rosa says he has left it shut up in the +conservatory." So I went down to attend to Abner (the cat.) About 3 in +the morning Mrs. C. woke me and said, "I do believe I hear that cat in +the drawing-room--what did you do with him?" I answered up with the +confidence of a man who has managed to do the right thing for once, and +said "I opened the conservatory doors, took the library off the alarm, +and spread everything open, so that there wasn't any obstruction between +him and the cellar." Language wasn't capable of conveying this woman's +disgust. But the sense of what she said, was, "He couldn't have done any +harm in the conservatory--so you must go and make the entire house free +to him and the burglars, imagining that he will prefer the coal-bins to +the drawing-room. If you had had Mr. Howells to help you, I should have +admired but not been astonished, because I should know that together you +would be equal to it; but how you managed to contrive such a stately +blunder all by yourself, is what I cannot understand." + +So, you see, even she knows how to appreciate our gifts. + +Brisk times here.--Saturday, these things happened: Our neighbor Chas. +Smith was stricken with heart disease, and came near joining the +majority; my publisher, Bliss, ditto, ditto; a neighbor's child died; +neighbor Whitmore's sixth child added to his five other cases of measles; +neighbor Niles sent for, and responded; Susie Warner down, abed; Mrs. +George Warner threatened with death during several hours; her son Frank, +whilst imitating the marvels in Barnum's circus bills, thrown from his +aged horse and brought home insensible: Warner's friend Max Yortzburgh, +shot in the back by a locomotive and broken into 32 distinct pieces and +his life threatened; and Mrs. Clemens, after writing all these cheerful +things to Clara Spaulding, taken at midnight, and if the doctor had not +been pretty prompt the contemplated Clemens would have called before his +apartments were ready. + +However, everybody is all right, now, except Yortzburg, and he is +mending--that is, he is being mended. I knocked off, during these +stirring times, and don't intend to go to work again till we go away for +the Summer, 3 or 6 weeks hence. So I am writing to you not because I +have anything to say, but because you don't have to answer and I need +something to do this afternoon..... + +I have a letter from a Congressman this morning, and he says Congress +couldn't be persuaded to bother about Canadian pirates at a time like +this when all legislation must have a political and Presidential bearing, +else Congress won't look at it. So have changed my mind and my course; +I go north, to kill a pirate. I must procure repose some way, else I +cannot get down to work again. + +Pray offer my most sincere and respectful approval to the President--is +approval the proper word? I find it is the one I most value here in the +household and seldomest get. + +With our affection to you both. + Yrs ever + MARK. + + + It was always dangerous to send strangers with letters of + introduction to Mark Twain. They were so apt to arrive at the wrong + time, or to find him in the wrong mood. Howells was willing to risk + it, and that the result was only amusing instead of tragic is the + best proof of their friendship. + + + To W. D. Howells, in Belmont, Mass.: + + June 9, '80. +Well, old practical joker, the corpse of Mr. X----has been here, and I +have bedded it and fed it, and put down my work during 24 hours and tried +my level best to make it do something, or say something, or appreciate +something--but no, it was worse than Lazarus. A kind-hearted, well- +meaning corpse was the Boston young man, but lawsy bless me, horribly +dull company. Now, old man, unless you have great confidence in Mr. X's +judgment, you ought to make him submit his article to you before he +prints it. For only think how true I was to you: Every hour that he was +here I was saying, gloatingly, "O G-- d--- you, when you are in bed and +your light out, I will fix you" (meaning to kill him)...., but then the +thought would follow--" No, Howells sent him--he shall be spared, he +shall be respected he shall travel hell-wards by his own route." + +Breakfast is frozen by this time, and Mrs. Clemens correspondingly hot. +Good bye. + Yrs ever, + MARK. + + + "I did not expect you to ask that man to live with you," Howells + answered. "What I was afraid of was that you would turn him out of + doors, on sight, and so I tried to put in a good word for him. + After this when I want you to board people, I'll ask you. I am + sorry for your suffering. I suppose I have mostly lost my smell for + bores; but yours is preternaturally keen. I shall begin to be + afraid I bore you. (How does that make you feel?)" + + In a letter to Twichell--a remarkable letter--when baby Jean Clemens + was about a month old, we get a happy hint of conditions at Quarry + Farm, and in the background a glimpse of Mark Twain's unfailing + tragic reflection. + + + To Rev. Twichell, in Hartford: + + QUARRY FARM, Aug. 29 ['80]. +DEAR OLD JOE,--Concerning Jean Clemens, if anybody said he "didn't see no +pints about that frog that's any better'n any other frog," I should think +he was convicting himself of being a pretty poor sort of observer.... +I will not go into details; it is not necessary; you will soon be in +Hartford, where I have already hired a hall; the admission fee will be +but a trifle. + +It is curious to note the change in the stock-quotation of the Affection +Board brought about by throwing this new security on the market. Four +weeks ago the children still put Mamma at the head of the list right +along, where she had always been. But now: + + Jean + Mamma + Motley [a cat] + Fraulein [another] + Papa + +That is the way it stands, now Mamma is become No. 2; I have dropped from +No. 4., and am become No. 5. Some time ago it used to be nip and tuck +between me and the cats, but after the cats "developed" I didn't stand +any more show. + +I've got a swollen ear; so I take advantage of it to lie abed most of the +day, and read and smoke and scribble and have a good time. Last evening +Livy said with deep concern, "O dear, I believe an abscess is forming in +your ear." + +I responded as the poet would have done if he had had a cold in the +head-- + + "Tis said that abscess conquers love, + But O believe it not." + +This made a coolness. + +Been reading Daniel Webster's Private Correspondence. Have read a +hundred of his diffuse, conceited, "eloquent," bathotic (or bathostic) +letters written in that dim (no, vanished) Past when he was a student; +and Lord, to think that this boy who is so real to me now, and so booming +with fresh young blood and bountiful life, and sappy cynicisms about +girls, has since climbed the Alps of fame and stood against the sun one +brief tremendous moment with the world's eyes upon him, and then--f-z-t-! +where is he? Why the only long thing, the only real thing about the +whole shadowy business is the sense of the lagging dull and hoary lapse +of time that has drifted by since then; a vast empty level, it seems, +with a formless spectre glimpsed fitfully through the smoke and mist that +lie along its remote verge. + +Well, we are all getting along here first-rate; Livy gains strength +daily, and sits up a deal; the baby is five weeks old and--but no more of +this; somebody may be reading this letter 80 years hence. And so, my +friend (you pitying snob, I mean, who are holding this yellow paper in +your hand in 1960,) save yourself the trouble of looking further; I know +how pathetically trivial our small concerns will seem to you, and I will +not let your eye profane them. No, I keep my news; you keep your +compassion. Suffice it you to know, scoffer and ribald, that the little +child is old and blind, now, and once more toothless; and the rest of us +are shadows, these many, many years. Yes, and your time cometh! + + MARK. + + + At the Farm that year Mark Twain was working on The Prince and the + Pauper, and, according to a letter to Aldrich, brought it to an end + September 19th. It is a pleasant letter, worth preserving. The + book by Aldrich here mentioned was 'The Stillwater Tragedy.' + + + To T. B. Aldrich, in Ponkapog, Mass.: + + ELMIRA, Sept. 15, '80. +MY DEAR ALDRICH,--Thank you ever so much for the book--I had already +finished it, and prodigiously enjoyed it, in the periodical of the +notorious Howells, but it hits Mrs. Clemens just right, for she is having +a reading holiday, now, for the first time in same months; so between- +times, when the new baby is asleep and strengthening up for another +attempt to take possession of this place, she is going to read it. +Her strong friendship for you makes her think she is going to like it. + +I finished a story yesterday, myself. I counted up and found it between +sixty and eighty thousand words--about the size of your book. It is for +boys and girls--been at work at it several years, off and on. + +I hope Howells is enjoying his journey to the Pacific. He wrote me that +you and Osgood were going, also, but I doubted it, believing he was in +liquor when he wrote it. In my opinion, this universal applause over his +book is going to land that man in a Retreat inside of two months. +I notice the papers say mighty fine things about your book, too. +You ought to try to get into the same establishment with Howells. +But applause does not affect me--I am always calm--this is because I am +used to it. + +Well, good-bye, my boy, and good luck to you. Mrs. Clemens asks me to +send her warmest regards to you and Mrs. Aldrich--which I do, and add +those of + Yrs ever + MARK. + + + While Mark Twain was a journalist in San Francisco, there was a + middle-aged man named Soule, who had a desk near him on the Morning + Call. Soule was in those days highly considered as a poet by his + associates, most of whom were younger and less gracefully poetic. + But Soule's gift had never been an important one. Now, in his old + age, he found his fame still local, and he yearned for wider + recognition. He wished to have a volume of poems issued by a + publisher of recognized standing. Because Mark Twain had been one + of Soule's admirers and a warm friend in the old days, it was + natural that Soule should turn to him now, and equally natural that + Clemens should turn to Howells. + + + To W. D. Howells, in Boston: + + Sunday, Oct. 2 '80. +MY DEAR HOWELLS,--Here's a letter which I wrote you to San Francisco the +second time you didn't go there.... I told Soule he needn't write you, +but simply send the MS. to you. O dear, dear, it is dreadful to be an +unrecognized poet. How wise it was in Charles Warren Stoddard to take in +his sign and go for some other calling while still young. + +I'm laying for that Encyclopedical Scotchman--and he'll need to lock the +door behind him, when he comes in; otherwise when he hears my proposed +tariff his skin will probably crawl away with him. He is accustomed to +seeing the publisher impoverish the author--that spectacle must be +getting stale to him--if he contracts with the undersigned he will +experience a change in that programme that will make the enamel peel off +his teeth for very surprise--and joy. No, that last is what Mrs. Clemens +thinks--but it's not so. The proposed work is growing, mightily, in my +estimation, day by day; and I'm not going to throw it away for any mere +trifle. If I make a contract with the canny Scot, I will then tell him +the plan which you and I have devised (that of taking in the humor of all +countries)--otherwise I'll keep it to myself, I think. Why should we +assist our fellowman for mere love of God? + Yrs ever + MARK. + + One wishes that Howells might have found value enough in the verses + of Frank Soule to recommend them to Osgood. To Clemens he wrote: + "You have touched me in regard to him, and I will deal gently with + his poetry. Poor old fellow! I can imagine him, and how he must + have to struggle not to be hard or sour." + + The verdict, however, was inevitable. Soule's graceful verses + proved to be not poetry at all. No publisher of standing could + afford to give them his imprint. + + The "Encyclopedical Scotchman" mentioned in the preceding letter was + the publisher Gebbie, who had a plan to engage Howells and Clemens + to prepare some sort of anthology of the world's literature. The + idea came to nothing, though the other plan mentioned--for a library + of humor--in time grew into a book. + + Mark Twain's contracts with Bliss for the publication of his books + on the subscription plan had been made on a royalty basis, beginning + with 5 per cent. on 'The Innocents Abroad' increasing to 7 « per + cent. on 'Roughing It,' and to 10 per cent. on later books. Bliss + had held that these later percentages fairly represented one half + the profits. Clemens, however, had never been fully satisfied, and + his brother Onion had more than once urged him to demand a specific + contract on the half-profit basis. The agreement for the + publication of 'A Tramp Abroad' was made on these terms. Bliss died + before Clemens received his first statement of sales. Whatever may + have been the facts under earlier conditions, the statement proved + to Mark Twain's satisfaction; at least, that the half-profit + arrangement was to his advantage. It produced another result; it + gave Samuel Clemens an excuse to place his brother Onion in a + position of independence. + + + To Onion Clemens, in Keokuk, Iowa: + + Sunday, Oct 24 '80. +MY DEAR BRO.,--Bliss is dead. The aspect of the balance-sheet is +enlightening. It reveals the fact, through my present contract, (which +is for half the profits on the book above actual cost of paper, printing +and binding,) that I have lost considerably by all this nonsense--sixty +thousand dollars, I should say--and if Bliss were alive I would stay with +the concern and get it all back; for on each new book I would require a +portion of that back pay; but as it is (this in the very strictest +confidence,) I shall probably go to a new publisher 6 or 8 months hence, +for I am afraid Frank, with his poor health, will lack push and drive. + +Out of the suspicions you bred in me years ago, has grown this result, +--to wit, that I shall within the twelvemonth get $40,000 out of this +"Tramp" instead Of $20,000. Twenty thousand dollars, after taxes and +other expenses are stripped away, is worth to the investor about $75 a +month--so I shall tell Mr. Perkins to make your check that amount per +month, hereafter, while our income is able to afford it. This ends the +loan business; and hereafter you can reflect that you are living not on +borrowed money but on money which you have squarely earned, and which has +no taint or savor of charity about it--and you can also reflect that the +money you have been receiving of me all these years is interest charged +against the heavy bill which the next publisher will have to stand who +gets a book of mine. + +Jean got the stockings and is much obliged; Mollie wants to know whom she +most resembles, but I can't tell; she has blue eyes and brown hair, and +three chins, and is very fat and happy; and at one time or another she +has resembled all the different Clemenses and Langdons, in turn, that +have ever lived. + +Livy is too much beaten out with the baby, nights, to write, these times; +and I don't know of anything urgent to say, except that a basket full of +letters has accumulated in the 7 days that I have been whooping and +cursing over a cold in the head--and I must attack the pile this very +minute. + With love from us + Y aff + SAM +$25 enclosed. + + + + On the completion of The Prince and Pauper story, Clemens had + naturally sent it to Howells for consideration. Howells wrote: + "I have read the two P's and I like it immensely, it begins well and + it ends well." He pointed out some things that might be changed or + omitted, and added: "It is such a book as I would expect from you, + knowing what a bottom of fury there is to your fun." Clemens had + thought somewhat of publishing the story anonymously, in the fear + that it would not be accepted seriously over his own signature. + + The "bull story" referred to in the next letter is the one later + used in the Joan of Arc book, the story told Joan by "Uncle Laxart," + how he rode a bull to a funeral. + + + To W. D. Howells, in Boston: + + Xmas Eve, 1880. +MY DEAR HOWELLS,--I was prodigiously delighted with what you said about +the book--so, on the whole, I've concluded to publish intrepidly, instead +of concealing the authorship. I shall leave out that bull story. + +I wish you had gone to New York. The company was small, and we had a +first-rate time. Smith's an enjoyable fellow. I liked Barrett, too. +And the oysters were as good as the rest of the company. It was worth +going there to learn how to cook them. + +Next day I attended to business--which was, to introduce Twichell to Gen. +Grant and procure a private talk in the interest of the Chinese +Educational Mission here in the U. S. Well, it was very funny. Joe had +been sitting up nights building facts and arguments together into a +mighty and unassailable array and had studied them out and got them by +heart--all with the trembling half-hearted hope of getting Grant to add +his signature to a sort of petition to the Viceroy of China; but Grant +took in the whole situation in a jiffy, and before Joe had more than +fairly got started, the old man said: "I'll write the Viceroy a Letter +--a separate letter--and bring strong reasons to bear upon him; I know +him well, and what I say will have weight with him; I will attend to it +right away. No, no thanks--I shall be glad to do it--it will be a labor +of love." + +So all Joe's laborious hours were for naught! It was as if he had come +to borrow a dollar, and been offered a thousand before he could unfold +his case.... + +But it's getting dark. Merry Christmas to all of you. + Yrs Ever, + MARK. + + + The Chinese Educational Mission, mentioned in the foregoing, was a + thriving Hartford institution, projected eight years before by a + Yale graduate named Yung Wing. The mission was now threatened, and + Yung Wing, knowing the high honor in which General Grant was held in + China, believed that through him it might be saved. Twichell, of + course, was deeply concerned and naturally overjoyed at Grant's + interest. A day or two following the return to Hartford, Clemens + received a letter from General Grant, in which he wrote: "Li Hung + Chang is the most powerful and most influential Chinaman in his + country. He professed great friendship for me when I was there, and + I have had assurances of the same thing since. I hope, if he is + strong enough with his government, that the decision to withdraw the + Chinese students from this country may be changed." + + But perhaps Li Hung Chang was experiencing one of his partial + eclipses just then, or possibly he was not interested, for the + Hartford Mission did not survive. + + + + +XXI. + +LETTERS 1881, TO HOWELLS AND OTHERS. ASSISTING A YOUNG SCULPTOR. +LITERARY PLANS + +With all of Mark Twain's admiration for Grant, he had opposed him as a +third-term President and approved of the nomination of Garfield. He had +made speeches for Garfield during the campaign just ended, and had been +otherwise active in his support. Upon Garfield's election, however, he +felt himself entitled to no special favor, and the single request which +he preferred at length could hardly be classed as, personal, though made +for a "personal friend." + + + To President-elect James A. Garfield, in Washington: + + HARTFORD, Jany. 12, '81. +GEN. GARFIELD + +DEAR SIR,--Several times since your election persons wanting office have +asked me "to use my influence" with you in their behalf. + +To word it in that way was such a pleasant compliment to me that I never +complied. I could not without exposing the fact that I hadn't any +influence with you and that was a thing I had no mind to do. + +It seems to me that it is better to have a good man's flattering estimate +of my influence--and to keep it--than to fool it away with trying to get +him an office. But when my brother--on my wife's side--Mr. Charles J. +Langdon--late of the Chicago Convention--desires me to speak a word for +Mr. Fred Douglass, I am not asked "to use my influence" consequently I am +not risking anything. So I am writing this as a simple citizen. I am +not drawing on my fund of influence at all. A simple citizen may express +a desire with all propriety, in the matter of a recommendation to office, +and so I beg permission to hope that you will retain Mr. Douglass in his +present office of Marshall of the District of Columbia, if such a course +will not clash with your own preferences or with the expediencies and +interest of your administration. I offer this petition with peculiar +pleasure and strong desire, because I so honor this man's high and +blemishless character and so admire his brave, long crusade for the +liberties and elevation of his race. + +He is a personal friend of mine, but that is nothing to the point, his +history would move me to say these things without that, and I feel them +too. + With great respect + I am, General, + Yours truly, + S. L. CLEMENS. + + + Clemens would go out of his way any time to grant favor to the + colored race. His childhood associations were partly accountable + for this, but he also felt that the white man owed the negro a debt + for generations of enforced bondage. He would lecture any time in a + colored church, when he would as likely as not refuse point-blank to + speak for a white congregation. Once, in Elmira, he received a + request, poorly and none too politely phrased, to speak for one of + the churches. He was annoyed and about to send a brief refusal, + when Mrs. Clemens, who was present, said: + + "I think I know that church, and if so this preacher is a colored + man; he does not know how to write a polished letter--how should + he?" Her husband's manner changed so suddenly that she added: + "I will give you a motto, and it will be useful to you if you will + adopt it: Consider every man colored until he is proved white." + + + To W. D. Howells, in Boston: + + HARTFORD, Feb. 27, 1881. +MY DEAR HOWELLS,--I go to West Point with Twichell tomorrow, but shall be +back Tuesday or Wednesday; and then just as soon thereafter as you and +Mrs. Howells and Winny can come you will find us ready and most glad to +see you--and the longer you can stay the gladder we shall be. I am not +going to have a thing to do, but you shall work if you want to. On the +evening of March 10th, I am going to read to the colored folk in the +African Church here (no whites admitted except such as I bring with me), +and a choir of colored folk will sing jubilee songs. I count on a good +time, and shall hope to have you folks there, and Livy. I read in +Twichell's chapel Friday night and had a most rattling high time--but the +thing that went best of all was Uncle Remus's Tar Baby. I mean to try +that on my dusky audience. They've all heard that tale from childhood-- +at least the older members have. + +I arrived home in time to make a most noble blunder--invited Charley +Warner here (in Livy's name) to dinner with the Gerhardts, and told him +Livy had invited his wife by letter and by word of mouth also. I don't +know where I got these impressions, but I came home feeling as one does +who realizes that he has done a neat thing for once and left no flaws or +loop-holes. Well, Livy said she had never told me to invite Charley and +she hadn't dreamed of inviting Susy, and moreover there wasn't any +dinner, but just one lean duck. But Susy Warner's intuitions were +correct--so she choked off Charley, and staid home herself--we waited +dinner an hour and you ought to have seen that duck when he was done +drying in the oven. + MARK. + + + Clemens and his wife were always privately assisting worthy and + ambitious young people along the way of achievement. Young actors + were helped through dramatic schools; young men and women were + assisted through college and to travel abroad. Among others Clemens + paid the way of two colored students, one through a Southern + institution and another through the Yale law school. + + The mention of the name of Gerhardt in the preceding letter + introduces the most important, or at least the most extensive, of + these benefactions. The following letter gives the beginning of the + story: + + + To W. D. Howells, in Boston: + +Private and Confidential. + HARTFORD, Feb. 21, 1881. +MY DEAR HOWELLS,--Well, here is our romance. + +It happened in this way. One morning, a month ago--no, three weeks-- +Livy, and Clara Spaulding and I were at breakfast, at 10 A.M., and I was +in an irritable mood, for the barber was up stairs waiting and his hot +water getting cold, when the colored George returned from answering the +bell and said: "There's a lady in the drawing-room wants to see you." +"A book agent!" says I, with heat. "I won't see her; I will die in my +tracks, first." + +Then I got up with a soul full of rage, and went in there and bent +scowling over that person, and began a succession of rude and raspy +questions--and without even offering to sit down. + +Not even the defendant's youth and beauty and (seeming) timidity were +able to modify my savagery, for a time--and meantime question and answer +were going on. She had risen to her feet with the first question; and +there she stood, with her pretty face bent floorward whilst I inquired, +but always with her honest eyes looking me in the face when it came her +turn to answer. + +And this was her tale, and her plea-diffidently stated, but straight- +forwardly; and bravely, and most winningly simply and earnestly: I put it +in my own fashion, for I do not remember her words: + +Mr. Karl Gerhardt, who works in Pratt & Whitney's machine shops, has made +a statue in clay, and would I be so kind as to come and look at it, and +tell him if there is any promise in it? He has none to go to, and he +would be so glad. + +"O, dear me," I said, "I don't know anything about art--there's nothing I +could tell him." + +But she went on, just as earnestly and as simply as before, with her +plea--and so she did after repeated rebuffs; and dull as I am, even I +began by and by to admire this brave and gentle persistence, and to +perceive how her heart of hearts was in this thing, and how she couldn't +give it up, but must carry her point. So at last I wavered, and promised +in general terms that I would come down the first day that fell idle--and +as I conducted her to the door, I tamed more and more, and said I would +come during the very next week--"We shall be so glad--but--but, would you +please come early in the week?--the statue is just finished and we are so +anxious--and--and--we did hope you could come this week--and"--well, I +came down another peg, and said I would come Monday, as sure as death; +and before I got to the dining room remorse was doing its work and I was +saying to myself, "Damnation, how can a man be such a hound? why didn't I +go with her now?" Yes, and how mean I should have felt if I had known +that out of her poverty she had hired a hack and brought it along to +convey me. But luckily for what was left of my peace of mind, I didn't +know that. + +Well, it appears that from here she went to Charley Warner's. There was +a better light, there, and the eloquence of her face had a better chance +to do its office. Warner fought, as I had done; and he was in the midst +of an article and very busy; but no matter, she won him completely. He +laid aside his MS and said, "Come, let us go and see your father's +statue. That is--is he your father?" "No, he is my husband." So this +child was married, you see. + +This was a Saturday. Next day Warner came to dinner and said "Go!--go +tomorrow--don't fail." He was in love with the girl, and with her +husband too, and said he believed there was merit in the statue. Pretty +crude work, maybe, but merit in it. + +Patrick and I hunted up the place, next day; the girl saw us driving up, +and flew down the stairs and received me. Her quarters were the second +story of a little wooden house--another family on the ground floor. The +husband was at the machine shop, the wife kept no servant, she was there +alone. She had a little parlor, with a chair or two and a sofa; and the +artist-husband's hand was visible in a couple of plaster busts, one of +the wife, and another of a neighbor's child; visible also in a couple of +water colors of flowers and birds; an ambitious unfinished portrait of +his wife in oils: some paint decorations on the pine mantel; and an +excellent human ear, done in some plastic material at 16. + +Then we went into the kitchen, and the girl flew around, with enthusiasm, +and snatched rag after rag from a tall something in the corner, and +presently there stood the clay statue, life size--a graceful girlish +creature, nude to the waist, and holding up a single garment with one +hand the expression attempted being a modified scare--she was interrupted +when about to enter the bath. + +Then this young wife posed herself alongside the image and so remained +--a thing I didn't understand. But presently I did--then I said: + +"O, it's you!" + +"Yes," she said, "I was the model. He has no model but me. I have stood +for this many and many an hour--and you can't think how it does tire one! +But I don't mind it. He works all day at the shop; and then, nights and +Sundays he works on his statue as long as I can keep up." + +She got a big chisel, to use as a lever, and between us we managed to +twist the pedestal round and round, so as to afford a view of the statue +from all points. Well, sir, it was perfectly charming, this girl's +innocence and purity---exhibiting her naked self, as it were, to a +stranger and alone, and never once dreaming that there was the slightest +indelicacy about the matter. And so there wasn't; but it will be many +along day before I run across another woman who can do the like and show +no trace of self-consciousness. + +Well, then we sat down, and I took a smoke, and she told me all about her +people in Massachusetts--her father is a physician and it is an old and +respectable family--(I am able to believe anything she says.) And she +told me how "Karl" is 26 years old; and how he has had passionate +longings all his life toward art, but has always been poor and obliged to +struggle for his daily bread; and how he felt sure that if he could only +have one or two lessons in-- + +"Lessons? Hasn't he had any lessons?" + +No. He had never had a lesson. + +And presently it was dinner time and "Karl" arrived--a slender young +fellow with a marvelous head and a noble eye--and he was as simple and +natural, and as beautiful in spirit as his wife was. But she had to do +the talking--mainly--there was too much thought behind his cavernous eyes +for glib speech. + +I went home enchanted. Told Livy and Clara Spaulding all about the +paradise down yonder where those two enthusiasts are happy with a yearly +expense of $350. Livy and Clara went there next day and came away +enchanted. A few nights later the Gerhardts kept their promise and came +here for the evening. It was billiard night and I had company and so was +not down; but Livy and Clara became more charmed with these children than +ever. + +Warner and I planned to get somebody to criticise the statue whose +judgment would be worth something. So I laid for Champney, and after two +failures I captured him and took him around, and he said "this statue is +full of faults--but it has merits enough in it to make up for them"-- +whereat the young wife danced around as delighted as a child. When we +came away, Champney said, "I did not want to say too much there, but the +truth is, it seems to me an extraordinary performance for an untrained +hand. You ask if there is promise enough there to justify the Hartford +folk in going to an expense of training this young man. I should say, +yes, decidedly; but still, to make everything safe, you had better get +the judgment of a sculptor." + +Warner was in New York. I wrote him, and he said he would fetch up Ward +--which he did. Yesterday they went to the Gerhardts and spent two +hours, and Ward came away bewitched with those people and marveling at +the winning innocence of the young wife, who dropped naturally into +model-attitude beside the statue (which is stark naked from head to heel, +now--G. had removed the drapery, fearing Ward would think he was afraid +to try legs and hips) just as she has always done before. + +Livy and I had two long talks with Ward yesterday evening. He spoke +strongly. He said, "if any stranger had told me that this apprentice did +not model that thing from plaster casts, I would not have believed it." +He said "it is full of crudities, but it is full of genius, too. It is +such a statue as the man of average talent would achieve after two years +training in the schools. And the boldness of the fellow, in going +straight to nature! He is an apprentice--his work shows that, all over; +but the stuff is in him, sure. Hartford must send him to Paris--two +years; then if the promise holds good, keep him there three more--and +warn him to study, study, work, work, and keep his name out of the +papers, and neither ask for orders nor accept them when offered." + +Well, you see, that's all we wanted. After Ward was gone Livy came out +with the thing that was in her mind. She said, "Go privately and start +the Gerhardts off to Paris, and say nothing about it to any one else." + +So I tramped down this morning in the snow-storm--and there was a +stirring time. They will sail a week or ten days from now. + +As I was starting out at the front door, with Gerhardt beside me and the +young wife dancing and jubilating behind, this latter cried out +impulsively, "Tell Mrs. Clemens I want to hug her--I want to hug you +both!" + +I gave them my old French book and they were going to tackle the +language, straight off. + +Now this letter is a secret--keep it quiet--I don't think Livy would mind +my telling you these things, but then she might, you know, for she is a +queer girl. + Yrs ever, + MARK. + + + Champney was J. Wells Champney, a portrait-painter of distinction; + Ward was the sculptor, J. Q. A. Ward. + + The Gerhardts were presently off to Paris, well provided with means + to make their dreams reality; in due time the letters will report + them again. + + The Uncle Remus tales of Joel Chandler Harris gave Mark Twain great + pleasure. He frequently read them aloud, not only at home but in + public. Finally, he wrote Harris, expressing his warm appreciation, + and mentioning one of the negro stories of his own childhood, "The + Golden Arm," which he urged Harris to look up and add to his + collection. + + "You have pinned a proud feather in Uncle-Remus's cap," replied + Harris. "I do not know what higher honor he could have than to + appear before the Hartford public arm in arm with Mark Twain." + + He disclaimed any originality for the stories, adding, "I understand + that my relations toward Uncle Remus are similar to those that exist + between an almanac maker and the calendar." He had not heard the + "Golden Arm" story and asked for the outlines; also for some + publishing advice, out of Mark Twain's long experience. + + + To Joel Chandler Harris, in Atlanta: + + ELMIRA, N.Y., Aug. 10. +MY DEAR MR. HARRIS,--You can argue yourself into the delusion that the +principle of life is in the stories themselves and not in their setting; +but you will save labor by stopping with that solitary convert, for he is +the only intelligent one you will bag. In reality the stories are only +alligator pears--one merely eats them for the sake of the salad-dressing. +Uncle Remus is most deftly drawn, and is a lovable and delightful +creation; he, and the little boy, and their relations with each other, +are high and fine literature, and worthy to live, for their own sakes; +and certainly the stories are not to be credited with them. But enough +of this; I seem to be proving to the man that made the multiplication +table that twice one are two. + +I have been thinking, yesterday and to-day (plenty of chance to think, as +I am abed with lumbago at our little summering farm among the solitudes +of the Mountaintops,) and I have concluded that I can answer one of your +questions with full confidence--thus: Make it a subscription book. +Mighty few books that come strictly under the head of literature will +sell by subscription; but if Uncle Remus won't, the gift of prophecy has +departed out of me. When a book will sell by subscription, it will sell +two or three times as many copies as it would in the trade; and the +profit is bulkier because the retail price is greater..... + +You didn't ask me for a subscription-publisher. If you had, I should +have recommended Osgood to you. He inaugurates his subscription +department with my new book in the fall..... + +Now the doctor has been here and tried to interrupt my yarn about "The +Golden Arm," but I've got through, anyway. + +Of course I tell it in the negro dialect--that is necessary; but I have +not written it so, for I can't spell it in your matchless way. It is +marvelous the way you and Cable spell the negro and creole dialects. + +Two grand features are lost in print: the weird wailing, the rising and +falling cadences of the wind, so easily mimicked with one's mouth; and +the impressive pauses and eloquent silences, and subdued utterances, +toward the end of the yarn (which chain the attention of the children +hand and foot, and they sit with parted lips and breathless, to be +wrenched limb from limb with the sudden and appalling "You got it"). + +Old Uncle Dan'l, a slave of my uncle's' aged 60, used to tell us children +yarns every night by the kitchen fire (no other light;) and the last yarn +demanded, every night, was this one. By this time there was but a +ghastly blaze or two flickering about the back-log. We would huddle +close about the old man, and begin to shudder with the first familiar +words; and under the spell of his impressive delivery we always fell a +prey to that climax at the end when the rigid black shape in the twilight +sprang at us with a shout. + +When you come to glance at the tale you will recollect it--it is as +common and familiar as the Tar Baby. Work up the atmosphere with your +customary skill and it will "go" in print. + +Lumbago seems to make a body garrulous--but you'll forgive it. + Truly yours + S. L. CLEMENS + + + The "Golden Arm" story was one that Clemens often used in his public + readings, and was very effective as he gave it. + + In his sketch, "How to Tell a Story," it appears about as he used to + tell it. Harris, receiving the outlines of the old Missouri tale, + presently announced that he had dug up its Georgia relative, an + interesting variant, as we gather from Mark Twain's reply. + + + To Joel Chandler Harris, in Atlanta: + + HARTFORD, '81. +MY DEAR MR. HARRIS,--I was very sure you would run across that Story +somewhere, and am glad you have. A Drummond light--no, I mean a Brush +light--is thrown upon the negro estimate of values by his willingness to +risk his soul and his mighty peace forever for the sake of a silver +sev'm-punce. And this form of the story seems rather nearer the true +field-hand standard than that achieved by my Florida, Mo., negroes with +their sumptuous arm of solid gold. + +I judge you haven't received my new book yet--however, you will in a day +or two. Meantime you must not take it ill if I drop Osgood a hint about +your proposed story of slave life..... + +When you come north I wish you would drop me a line and then follow it in +person and give me a day or two at our house in Hartford. If you will, +I will snatch Osgood down from Boston, and you won't have to go there at +all unless you want to. Please to bear this strictly in mind, and don't +forget it. + Sincerely yours + S. L. CLEMENS. + + + Charles Warren Stoddard, to whom the next letter is written, was one + of the old California literary crowd, a graceful writer of verse and + prose, never quite arriving at the success believed by his friends + to be his due. He was a gentle, irresponsible soul, well loved by + all who knew him, and always, by one or another, provided against + want. The reader may remember that during Mark Twain's great + lecture engagement in London, winter of 1873-74, Stoddard lived with + him, acting as his secretary. At a later period in his life he + lived for several years with the great telephone magnate, Theodore + N. Vail. At the time of this letter, Stoddard had decided that in + the warm light and comfort of the Sandwich Islands he could survive + on his literary earnings. + + + To Charles Warren Stoddard, in the Sandwich Islands: + + HARTFORD, Oct. 26 '81. +MY DEAR CHARLIE,--Now what have I ever done to you that you should not +only slide off to Heaven before you have earned a right to go, but must +add the gratuitous villainy of informing me of it?..... + +The house is full of carpenters and decorators; whereas, what we really +need here, is an incendiary. If the house would only burn down, we would +pack up the cubs and fly to the isles of the blest, and shut ourselves up +in the healing solitudes of the crater of Haleakala and get a good rest; +for the mails do not intrude there, nor yet the telephone and the +telegraph. And after resting, we would come down the mountain a piece +and board with a godly, breech-clouted native, and eat poi and dirt and +give thanks to whom all thanks belong, for these privileges, and never +house-keep any more. + +I think my wife would be twice as strong as she is, but for this wearing +and wearying slavery of house-keeping. However, she thinks she must +submit to it for the sake of the children; whereas, I have always had a +tenderness for parents too, so, for her sake and mine, I sigh for the +incendiary. When the evening comes and the gas is lit and the wear and +tear of life ceases, we want to keep house always; but next morning we +wish, once more, that we were free and irresponsible boarders. + +Work?--one can't you know, to any purpose. I don't really get anything +done worth speaking of, except during the three or four months that we +are away in the Summer. I wish the Summer were seven years long. I keep +three or four books on the stocks all the time, but I seldom add a +satisfactory chapter to one of them at home. Yes, and it is all because +my time is taken up with answering the letters of strangers. It can't be +done through a short hand amanuensis--I've tried that--it wouldn't work +--I couldn't learn to dictate. What does possess strangers to write so +many letters? I never could find that out. However, I suppose I did it +myself when I was a stranger. But I will never do it again. + +Maybe you think I am not happy? the very thing that gravels me is that I +am. I don't want to be happy when I can't work; I am resolved that +hereafter I won't be. What I have always longed for, was the privilege +of living forever away up on one of those mountains in the Sandwich +Islands overlooking the sea. + Yours ever + MARK. + +That magazine article of yours was mighty good: up to your very best I +think. I enclose a book review written by Howells. + + + To W. D. Howells, in Boston: + + HARTFORD, Oct. 26 '81. +MY DEAR HOWELLS,--I am delighted with your review, and so is Mrs. +Clemens. What you have said, there, will convince anybody that reads it; +a body cannot help being convinced by it. That is the kind of a review +to have; the doubtful man; even the prejudiced man, is persuaded and +succumbs. + +What a queer blunder that was, about the baronet. I can't quite see how +I ever made it. There was an opulent abundance of things I didn't know; +and consequently no need to trench upon the vest-pocketful of things I +did know, to get material for a blunder. + +Charley Warren Stoddard has gone to the Sandwich Islands permanently. +Lucky devil. It is the only supremely delightful place on earth. It +does seem that the more advantage a body doesn't earn, here, the more of +them God throws at his head. This fellow's postal card has set the +vision of those gracious islands before my mind, again, with not a leaf +withered, nor a rainbow vanished, nor a sun-flash missing from the waves, +and now it will be months, I reckon, before I can drive it away again. +It is beautiful company, but it makes one restless and dissatisfied. + +With love and thanks, + Yrs ever, + MARK. + + + The review mentioned in this letter was of The Prince and the + Pauper. What the queer" blunder" about the baronet was, the present + writer confesses he does not know; but perhaps a careful reader + could find it, at least in the early edition; very likely it was + corrected without loss of time. + + Clemens now and then found it necessary to pay a visit to Canada in + the effort to protect his copyright. He usually had a grand time on + these trips, being lavishly entertained by the Canadian literary + fraternity. In November, 1881, he made one of these journeys in the + interest of The Prince and the Pauper, this time with Osgood, who + was now his publisher. In letters written home we get a hint of his + diversions. The Monsieur Frechette mentioned was a Canadian poet of + considerable distinction. "Clara" was Miss Clara Spaulding, of + Elmira, who had accompanied Mr. and Mrs. Clemens to Europe in 1873, + and again in 1878. Later she became Mrs. John B. Staachfield, of + New York City. Her name has already appeared in these letters many + times. + + + To Mrs. Clemens, in Hartford: + + MONTREAL, Nov. 28 '81. +Livy darling, you and Clara ought to have been at breakfast in the great +dining room this morning. English female faces, distinctive English +costumes, strange and marvelous English gaits--and yet such honest, +honorable, clean-souled countenances, just as these English women almost +always have, you know. Right away-- + +But they've come to take me to the top of Mount Royal, it being a cold, +dry, sunny, magnificent day. Going in a sleigh. + Yours lovingly, + SAML. + + + To Mrs. Clemens, in Hartford: + + MONTREAL, Sunday, November 27, 1881. +Livy dear, a mouse kept me awake last night till 3 or 4 o'clock--so I am +lying abed this morning. I would not give sixpence to be out yonder in +the storm, although it is only snow. + +[The above paragraph is written in the form of a rebus illustrated with +various sketches.] + +There--that's for the children--was not sure that they could read +writing; especially jean, who is strangely ignorant in some things. + +I can not only look out upon the beautiful snow-storm, past the vigorous +blaze of my fire; and upon the snow-veiled buildings which I have +sketched; and upon the churchward drifting umbrellas; and upon the +buffalo-clad cabmen stamping their feet and thrashing their arms on the +corner yonder: but I also look out upon the spot where the first white +men stood, in the neighborhood of four hundred years ago, admiring the +mighty stretch of leafy solitudes, and being admired and marveled at by +an eager multitude of naked savages. The discoverer of this region, and +namer of it, Jacques Cartier, has a square named for him in the city. I +wish you were here; you would enjoy your birthday, I think. + +I hoped for a letter, and thought I had one when the mail was handed in, +a minute ago, but it was only that note from Sylvester Baxter. You must +write--do you hear?--or I will be remiss myself. + +Give my love and a kiss to the children, and ask them to give you my love +and a kiss from + SAML. + + + To Mrs. Clemens, in Hartford: + + QUEBEC, Sunday. '81. +Livy darling, I received a letter from Monsieur Frechette this morning, +in which certain citizens of Montreal tendered me a public dinner next +Thursday, and by Osgood's advice I accepted it. I would have accepted +anyway, and very cheerfully but for the delay of two days--for I was +purposing to go to Boston Tuesday and home Wednesday; whereas, now I go +to Boston Friday and home Saturday. I have to go by Boston on account of +business. + +We drove about the steep hills and narrow, crooked streets of this old +town during three hours, yesterday, in a sleigh, in a driving snow-storm. +The people here don't mind snow; they were all out, plodding around on +their affairs--especially the children, who were wallowing around +everywhere, like snow images, and having a mighty good time. I wish I +could describe the winter costume of the young girls, but I can't. It is +grave and simple, but graceful and pretty--the top of it is a brimless +fur cap. Maybe it is the costume that makes pretty girls seem so +monotonously plenty here. It was a kind of relief to strike a homely +face occasionally. + +You descend into some of the streets by long, deep stairways; and in the +strong moonlight, last night, these were very picturesque. I did wish +you were here to see these things. You couldn't by any possibility sleep +in these beds, though, or enjoy the food. + +Good night, sweetheart, and give my respects to the cubs. + + SAML. + + + It had been hoped that W. D. Howells would join the Canadian + excursion, but Howells was not very well that autumn. He wrote that + he had been in bed five weeks, "most of the time recovering; so you + see how bad I must have been to begin with. But now I am out of any + first-class pain; I have a good appetite, and I am as abusive and + peremptory as Guiteau." Clemens, returning to Hartford, wrote him a + letter that explains itself. + + + To W. D. Howells, in Boston: + + HARTFORD, Dec. 16 '81. +MY DEAR HOWELLS,--It was a sharp disappointment--your inability to +connect, on the Canadian raid. What a gaudy good time we should have +had! + +Disappointed, again, when I got back to Boston; for I was promising +myself half an hour's look at you, in Belmont; but your note to Osgood +showed that that could not be allowed out yet. + +The Atlantic arrived an hour ago, and your faultless and delicious Police +Report brought that blamed Joe Twichell powerfully before me. There's a +man who can tell such things himself (by word of mouth,) and has as sure +an eye for detecting a thing that is before his eyes, as any man in the +world, perhaps--then why in the nation doesn't he report himself with a +pen? + +One of those drenching days last week, he slopped down town with his +cubs, and visited a poor little beggarly shed where were a dwarf, a fat +woman, and a giant of honest eight feet, on exhibition behind tawdry +show-canvases, but with nobody to exhibit to. The giant had a broom, and +was cleaning up and fixing around, diligently. Joe conceived the idea of +getting some talk out of him. Now that never would have occurred to me. +So he dropped in under the man's elbow, dogged him patiently around, +prodding him with questions and getting irritated snarls in return which +would have finished me early--but at last one of Joe's random shafts +drove the centre of that giant's sympathies somehow, and fetched him. +The fountains of his great deep were broken up, and he rained a flood of +personal history that was unspeakably entertaining. + +Among other things it turned out that he had been a Turkish (native) +colonel, and had fought all through the Crimean war--and so, for the +first time, Joe got a picture of the Charge of the Six Hundred that made +him see the living spectacle, the flash of flag and tongue-flame, the +rolling smoke, and hear the booming of the guns; and for the first time +also, he heard the reasons for that wild charge delivered from the mouth +of a master, and realized that nobody had "blundered," but that a cold, +logical, military brain had perceived this one and sole way to win an +already lost battle, and so gave the command and did achieve the victory. + +And mind you Joe was able to come up here, days afterwards, and reproduce +that giant's picturesque and admirable history. But dern him, he can't +write it--which is all wrong, and not as it should be. + +And he has gone and raked up the MS autobiography (written in 1848,) of +Mrs. Phebe Brown, (author of "I Love to Steal a While Away,") who +educated Yung Wing in her family when he was a little boy; and I came +near not getting to bed at all, last night, on account of the lurid +fascinations of it. Why in the nation it has never got into print, I +can't understand. + +But, by jings! the postman will be here in a minute; so, congratulations +upon your mending health, and gratitude that it is mending; and love to +you all. + Yrs Ever + MARK. + +Don't answer--I spare the sick. + + + + +XXII. + +LETTERS, 1882, MAINLY TO HOWELLS. WASTED FURY. OLD SCENES REVISITED. +THE MISSISSIPPI BOOK + + A man of Mark Twain's profession and prominence must necessarily be + the subject of much newspaper comment. Jest, compliment, criticism + --none of these things disturbed him, as a rule. He was pleased + that his books should receive favorable notices by men whose opinion + he respected, but he was not grieved by adverse expressions. Jests + at his expense, if well written, usually amused him; cheap jokes + only made him sad; but sarcasms and innuendoes were likely to enrage + him, particularly if he believed them prompted by malice. Perhaps + among all the letters he ever wrote, there is none more + characteristic than this confession of violence and eagerness for + reprisal, followed by his acknowledgment of error and a manifest + appreciation of his own weakness. It should be said that Mark Twain + and Whitelaw Reid were generally very good friends, and perhaps for + the moment this fact seemed to magnify the offense. + + + To W. D. Howells, in Boston: + + HARTFORD, Jan. 28 '82. +MY DEAR HOWELLS,--Nobody knows better than I, that there are times when +swearing cannot meet the emergency. How sharply I feel that, at this +moment. Not a single profane word has issued from my lips this mornin +--I have not even had the impulse to swear, so wholly ineffectual would +swearing have manifestly been, in the circumstances. But I will tell you +about it. + +About three weeks ago, a sensitive friend, approaching his revelation +cautiously, intimated that the N. Y. Tribune was engaged in a kind of +crusade against me. This seemed a higher compliment than I deserved; but +no matter, it made me very angry. I asked many questions, and gathered, +in substance, this: Since Reid's return from Europe, the Tribune had +been flinging sneers and brutalities at me with such persistent frequency +"as to attract general remark." I was an angered--which is just as good +an expression, I take it, as an hungered. Next, I learned that Osgood, +among the rest of the "general," was worrying over these constant and +pitiless attacks. Next came the testimony of another friend, that the +attacks were not merely "frequent," but "almost daily." Reflect upon +that: "Almost daily" insults, for two months on a stretch. What would +you have done? + +As for me, I did the thing which was the natural thing for me to do, that +is, I set about contriving a plan to accomplish one or the other of two +things: 1. Force a peace; or 2. Get revenge. When I got my plan +finished, it pleased me marvelously. It was in six or seven sections, +each section to be used in its turn and by itself; the assault to begin +at once with No. 1, and the rest to follow, one after the other, to keep +the communication open while I wrote my biography of Reid. I meant to +wind up with this latter great work, and then dismiss the subject for +good. + +Well, ever since then I have worked day and night making notes and +collecting and classifying material. I've got collectors at work in +England. I went to New York and sat three hours taking evidence while a +stenographer set it down. As my labors grew, so also grew my +fascination. Malice and malignity faded out of me--or maybe I drove them +out of me, knowing that a malignant book would hurt nobody but the fool +who wrote it. I got thoroughly in love with this work; for I saw that I +was going to write a book which the very devils and angels themselves +would delight to read, and which would draw disapproval from nobody but +the hero of it, (and Mrs. Clemens, who was bitter against the whole +thing.) One part of my plan was so delicious that I had to try my hand +on it right away, just for the luxury of it. I set about it, and sure +enough it panned out to admiration. I wrote that chapter most carefully, +and I couldn't find a fault with it. (It was not for the biography--no, +it belonged to an immediate and deadlier project.) + +Well, five days ago, this thought came into my mind(from Mrs. Clemens's): +"Wouldn't it be well to make sure that the attacks have been 'almost +daily'?--and to also make sure that their number and character will +justify me in doing what I am proposing to do?" + +I at once set a man to work in New York to seek out and copy every +unpleasant reference which had been made to me in the Tribune from Nov. +1st to date. On my own part I began to watch the current numbers, for I +had subscribed for the paper. + +The result arrived from my New York man this morning. O, what a pitiable +wreck of high hopes! The "almost daily" assaults, for two months, +consist of--1. Adverse criticism of P. & P. from an enraged idiot in the +London Atheneum; 2. Paragraph from some indignant Englishman in the Pall +Mall Gazette who pays me the vast compliment of gravely rebuking some +imaginary ass who has set me up in the neighborhood of Rabelais; 3. A +remark of the Tribune's about the Montreal dinner, touched with an almost +invisible satire; 4. A remark of the Tribune's about refusal of Canadian +copyright, not complimentary, but not necessarily malicious--and of +course adverse criticism which is not malicious is a thing which none but +fools irritate themselves about. + +There--that is the prodigious bugaboo, in its entirety! Can you conceive +of a man's getting himself into a sweat over so diminutive a provocation? +I am sure I can't. What the devil can those friends of mine have been +thinking about, to spread these 3 or 4 harmless things out into two +months of daily sneers and affronts? The whole offense, boiled down, +amounts to just this: one uncourteous remark of the Tribune about my +book--not me between Nov. 1 and Dec. 20; and a couple of foreign +criticisms (of my writings, not me,) between Nov. 1 and Jan. 26! If I +can't stand that amount of friction, I certainly need reconstruction. +Further boiled down, this vast outpouring of malice amounts to simply +this: one jest from the Tribune (one can make nothing more serious than +that out of it.) One jest--and that is all; for the foreign criticisms do +not count, they being matters of news, and proper for publication in +anybody's newspaper. + +And to offset that one jest, the Tribune paid me one compliment Dec. 23, +by publishing my note declining the New York New England dinner, while +merely (in the same breath,) mentioning that similar letters were read +from General Sherman and other men whom we all know to be persons of real +consequence. + +Well, my mountain has brought forth its mouse, and a sufficiently small +mouse it is, God knows. And my three weeks' hard work have got to go +into the ignominious pigeon-hole. Confound it, I could have earned ten +thousand dollars with infinitely less trouble. However, I shouldn't have +done it, for I am too lazy, now, in my sere and yellow leaf, to be +willing to work for anything but love..... I kind of envy you people who +are permitted for your righteousness' sake to dwell in a boarding house; +not that I should always want to live in one, but I should like the +change occasionally from this housekeeping slavery to that wild +independence. A life of don't-care-a-damn in a boarding house is what I +have asked for in many a secret prayer. I shall come by and by and +require of you what you have offered me there. + Yours ever, + MARK. + + + Howells, who had already known something of the gathering storm, + replied: "Your letter was an immense relief to me, for although I + had an abiding faith that you would get sick of your enterprise, + I wasn't easy until I knew that you had given it up." + + Joel Chandler Harris appears again in the letters of this period. + Twichell, during a trip South about this time, had called on Harris + with some sort of proposition or suggestion from Clemens that Harris + appear with him in public, and tell, or read, the Remus stories from + the platform. But Harris was abnormally diffident. Clemens later + pronounced him "the shyest full-grown man" he had ever met, and the + word which Twichell brought home evidently did not encourage the + platform idea. + + + To Joel Chandler Harris, in Atlanta: + + HARTFORD, Apl. 2, '82. +Private. + +MY DEAR MR. HARRIS,--Jo Twichell brought me your note and told me of his +talk with you. He said you didn't believe you would ever be able to +muster a sufficiency of reckless daring to make you comfortable and at +ease before an audience. Well, I have thought out a device whereby I +believe we can get around that difficulty. I will explain when I see +you. + +Jo says you want to go to Canada within a month or six weeks--I forget +just exactly what he did say; but he intimated the trip could be delayed +a while, if necessary. If this is so, suppose you meet Osgood and me in +New Orleans early in May--say somewhere between the 1st and 6th? + +It will be well worth your while to do this, because the author who goes +to Canada unposted, will not know what course to pursue [to secure +copyright] when he gets there; he will find himself in a hopeless +confusion as to what is the correct thing to do. Now Osgood is the only +man in America, who can lay out your course for you and tell you exactly +what to do. Therefore, you just come to New Orleans and have a talk with +him. + +Our idea is to strike across lots and reach St. Louis the 20th of April-- +thence we propose to drift southward, stopping at some town a few hours +or a night, every day, and making notes. + +To escape the interviewers, I shall follow my usual course and use a +fictitious name (C. L. Samuel, of New York.) I don't know what Osgood's +name will be, but he can't use his own. + +If you see your way to meet us in New Orleans, drop me a line, now, and +as we approach that city I will telegraph you what day we shall arrive +there. + +I would go to Atlanta if I could, but shan't be able. We shall go back +up the river to St. Paul, and thence by rail X-lots home. + +(I am making this letter so dreadfully private and confidential because +my movements must be kept secret, else I shan't be able to pick up the +kind of book-material I want.) + +If you are diffident, I suspect that you ought to let Osgood be your +magazine-agent. He makes those people pay three or four times as much as +an article is worth, whereas I never had the cheek to make them pay more +than double. + Yrs Sincerely + S. L. CLEMENS. + + + "My backwardness is an affliction," wrote Harris..... "The ordeal + of appearing on the stage would be a terrible one, but my experience + is that when a diffident man does become familiar with his + surroundings he has more impudence than his neighbors. Extremes + meet." + + He was sorely tempted, but his courage became as water at the + thought of footlights and assembled listeners. Once in New York he + appears to have been caught unawares at a Tile Club dinner and made + to tell a story, but his agony was such that at the prospect of a + similar ordeal in Boston he avoided that city and headed straight + for Georgia and safety. + + The New Orleans excursion with Osgood, as planned by Clemens, proved + a great success. The little party took the steamer Gold Dust from + St. Louis down river toward New Orleans. Clemens was quickly + recognized, of course, and his assumed name laid aside. The author + of "Uncle Remus" made the trip to New Orleans. George W. Cable was + there at the time, and we may believe that in the company of Mark + Twain and Osgood those Southern authors passed two or three + delightful days. Clemens also met his old teacher Bixby in New + Orleans, and came back up the river with him, spending most of his + time in the pilot-house, as in the old days. It was a glorious + trip, and, reaching St. Louis, he continued it northward, stopping + off at Hannibal and Quincy.' + + + To Mrs. Clemens, in Hartford: + + QUINCY, ILL. May 17, '82. +Livy darling, I am desperately homesick. But I have promised Osgood, and +must stick it out; otherwise I would take the train at once and break for +home. + +I have spent three delightful days in Hannibal, loitering around all day +long, examining the old localities and talking with the grey-heads who +were boys and girls with me 30 or 40 years ago. It has been a moving +time. I spent my nights with John and Helen Garth, three miles from +town, in their spacious and beautiful house. They were children with me, +and afterwards schoolmates. Now they have a daughter 19 or 20 years old. +Spent an hour, yesterday, with A. W. Lamb, who was not married when I saw +him last. He married a young lady whom I knew. And now I have been +talking with their grown-up sons and daughters. Lieutenant Hickman, the +spruce young handsomely-uniformed volunteer of 1846, called on me--a +grisly elephantine patriarch of 65 now, his grace all vanished. + +That world which I knew in its blossoming youth is old and bowed and +melancholy, now; its soft cheeks are leathery and wrinkled, the fire is +gone out in its eyes, and the spring from its step. It will be dust and +ashes when I come again. I have been clasping hands with the moribund- +and usually they said, "It is for the last time." + +Now I am under way again, upon this hideous trip to St. Paul, with a +heart brimming full of thoughts and images of you and Susie and Bay and +the peerless Jean. And so good night, my love. + + SAML. + + + Clemens's trip had been saddened by learning, in New Orleans, the + news of the death of Dr. John Brown, of Edinburgh. To Doctor + Brown's son, whom he had known as "Jock," he wrote immediately on + his return to Hartford. + + + To Mr. John Brown, in Edinburgh + + HARTFORD, June 1, 1882. +MY DEAR MR. BROWN,--I was three thousand miles from home, at breakfast in +New Orleans, when the damp morning paper revealed the sorrowful news +among the cable dispatches. There was no place in America, however +remote, or however rich, or poor or high or humble where words of +mourning for your father were not uttered that morning, for his works had +made him known and loved all over the land. To Mrs. Clemens and me, +the loss is personal; and our grief the grief one feels for one who was +peculiarly near and dear. Mrs. Clemens has never ceased to express +regret that we came away from England the last time without going to see +him, and often we have since projected a voyage across the Atlantic for +the sole purpose of taking him by the hand and looking into his kind eyes +once more before he should be called to his rest. + +We both thank you greatly for the Edinburgh papers which you sent. My +wife and I join in affectionate remembrances and greetings to yourself +and your aunt, and in the sincere tender of our sympathies. + + Faithfully yours, + S. L. CLEMENS. + +Our Susie is still "Megalops." He gave her that name: + +Can you spare a photograph of your father? We have none but the one +taken in a group with ourselves. + + + William Dean Howells, at the age of forty-five, reached what many + still regard his highest point of achievement in American realism. + His novel, The Rise of Silas Lapham, which was running as a Century + serial during the summer of 1882, attracted wide attention, and upon + its issue in book form took first place among his published novels. + Mark Twain, to the end of his life, loved all that Howells wrote. + Once, long afterward, he said: "Most authors give us glimpses of a + radiant moon, but Howells's moon shines and sails all night long." + When the instalments of The Rise of Silas Lapham began to appear, he + overflowed in adjectives, the sincerity of which we need not doubt, + in view of his quite open criticisms of the author's reading + delivery. + + + To W. D. Howells, in Belmont, Mass.: + +MY DEAR HOWELLS,--I am in a state of wild enthusiasm over this July +instalment of your story. It's perfectly dazzling--it's masterly-- +incomparable. Yet I heard you read it--without losing my balance. +Well, the difference between your reading and your writing is-remarkable. +I mean, in the effects produced and the impression left behind. Why, the +one is to the other as is one of Joe Twichell's yarns repeated by a +somnambulist. Goodness gracious, you read me a chapter, and it is a +gentle, pearly dawn, with a sprinkle of faint stars in it; but by and by +I strike it in print, and shout to myself, "God bless us, how has that +pallid former spectacle been turned into these gorgeous sunset +splendors!" + +Well, I don't care how much you read your truck to me, you can't +permanently damage it for me that way. It is always perfectly fresh and +dazzling when I come on it in the magazine. Of course I recognize the +form of it as being familiar--but that is all. That is, I remember it as +pyrotechnic figures which you set up before me, dead and cold, but ready +for the match--and now I see them touched off and all ablaze with +blinding fires. You can read, if you want to, but you don't read worth a +damn. I know you can read, because your readings of Cable and your +repeatings of the German doctor's remarks prove that. + +That's the best drunk scene--because the truest--that I ever read. There +are touches in it that I never saw any writer take note of before. And +they are set before the reader with amazing accuracy. How very drunk, +and how recently drunk, and how altogether admirably drunk you must have +been to enable you to contrive that masterpiece! + +Why I didn't notice that that religious interview between Marcia and Mrs. +Halleck was so deliciously humorous when you read it to me--but dear me, +it's just too lovely for anything. (Wrote Clark to collar it for the +"Library.") + +Hang it, I know where the mystery is, now; when you are reading, you +glide right along, and I don't get a chance to let the things soak home; +but when I catch it in the magazine, I give a page 20 or 30 minutes in +which to gently and thoroughly filter into me. Your humor is so very +subtle, and elusive--(well, often it's just a vanishing breath of perfume +which a body isn't certain he smelt till he stops and takes another +smell) whereas you can smell other + +(Remainder obliterated.) + + + Among Mark Twain's old schoolmates in Hannibal was little Helen + Kercheval, for whom in those early days he had a very tender spot + indeed. But she married another schoolmate, John Garth, who in time + became a banker, highly respected and a great influence. John and + Helen Garth have already been mentioned in the letter of May 17th. + + + To John Garth, in Hannibal: + + HARTFORD, July 3 '82. +DEAR JOHN,--Your letter of June i9 arrived just one day after we ought to +have been in Elmira, N. Y. for the summer: but at the last moment the +baby was seized with scarlet fever. I had to telegraph and countermand +the order for special sleeping car; and in fact we all had to fly around +in a lively way and undo the patient preparations of weeks--rehabilitate +the dismantled house, unpack the trunks, and so on. A couple of days +later, the eldest child was taken down with so fierce a fever that she +was soon delirious--not scarlet fever, however. Next, I myself was +stretched on the bed with three diseases at once, and all of them fatal. +But I never did care for fatal diseases if I could only have privacy and +room to express myself concerning them. + +We gave early warning, and of course nobody has entered the house in all +this time but one or two reckless old bachelors--and they probably wanted +to carry the disease to the children of former flames of theirs. The +house is still in quarantine and must remain so for a week or two yet--at +which time we are hoping to leave for Elmira. + Always your friend + S. L. CLEMENS. + + + By the end of summer Howells was in Europe, and Clemens, in Elmira, + was trying to finish his Mississippi book, which was giving him a + great deal of trouble. It was usually so with his non-fiction + books; his interest in them was not cumulative; he was prone to grow + weary of them, while the menace of his publisher's contract was + maddening. Howells's letters, meant to be comforting, or at least + entertaining, did not always contribute to his peace of mind. The + Library of American Humor which they had planned was an added + burden. Before sailing, Howells had written: "Do you suppose you + can do your share of the reading at Elmira, while you are writing at + the Mississippi book?" + + In a letter from London, Howells writes of the good times he is + having over there with Osgood, Hutton, John Hay, Aldrich, and Alma + Tadema, excursioning to Oxford, feasting, especially "at the Mitre + Tavern, where they let you choose your dinner from the joints + hanging from the rafter, and have passages that you lose yourself in + every time you try to go to your room..... Couldn't you and Mrs. + Clemens step over for a little while?..... We have seen lots of + nice people and have been most pleasantly made of; but I would + rather have you smoke in my face, and talk for half a day just for + pleasure, than to go to the best house or club in London." The + reader will gather that this could not be entirely soothing to a man + shackled by a contract and a book that refused to come to an end. + + + To W. D. Howells, in London: + + HARTFORD, CONN. Oct 30, 1882. +MY DEAR HOWELLS,--I do not expect to find you, so I shan't spend many +words on you to wind up in the perdition of some European dead-letter +office. I only just want to say that the closing installments of the +story are prodigious. All along I was afraid it would be impossible for +you to keep up so splendidly to the end; but you were only, I see now, +striking eleven. It is in these last chapters that you struck twelve. +Go on and write; you can write good books yet, but you can never match +this one. And speaking of the book, I inclose something which has been +happening here lately. + +We have only just arrived at home, and I have not seen Clark on our +matters. I cannot see him or any one else, until I get my book finished. +The weather turned cold, and we had to rush home, while I still lacked +thirty thousand words. I had been sick and got delayed. I am going to +write all day and two thirds of the night, until the thing is done, or +break down at it. The spur and burden of the contract are intolerable to +me. I can endure the irritation of it no longer. I went to work at nine +o'clock yesterday morning, and went to bed an hour after midnight. +Result of the day, (mainly stolen from books, tho' credit given,) 9500 +words, so I reduced my burden by one third in one day. It was five days +work in one. I have nothing more to borrow or steal; the rest must all +be written. It is ten days work, and unless something breaks, it will be +finished in five. We all send love to you and Mrs. Howells, and all the +family. + Yours as ever, + MARK. + + +Again, from Villeneuve, on lake Geneva, Howells wrote urging him this +time to spend the winter with them in Florence, where they would write +their great American Comedy of 'Orme's Motor,' "which is to enrich us +beyond the dreams of avarice.... We could have a lot of fun writing it, +and you could go home with some of the good old Etruscan malaria in your +bones, instead of the wretched pinch-beck Hartford article that you are +suffering from now.... it's a great opportunity for you. Besides, +nobody over there likes you half as well as I do." + +It should be added that 'Orme's Motor' was the provisional title that +Clemens and Howells had selected for their comedy, which was to be built, +in some measure, at least, around the character, or rather from the +peculiarities, of Orion Clemens. The Cable mentioned in Mark Twain's +reply is, of course, George W. Cable, who only a little while before had +come up from New Orleans to conquer the North with his wonderful tales +and readings. + + + To W. D. Howells, in Switzerland: + + HARTFORD, Nov. 4th, 1882. +MY DEAR HOWELLS,--Yes, it would be profitable for me to do that, because +with your society to help me, I should swiftly finish this now apparently +interminable book. But I cannot come, because I am not Boss here, and +nothing but dynamite can move Mrs. Clemens away from home in the winter +season. + +I never had such a fight over a book in my life before. And the +foolishest part of the whole business is, that I started Osgood to +editing it before I had finished writing it. As a consequence, large +areas of it are condemned here and there and yonder, and I have the +burden of these unfilled gaps harassing me and the thought of the broken +continuity of the work, while I am at the same time trying to build the +last quarter of the book. However, at last I have said with sufficient +positiveness that I will finish the book at no particular date; that I +will not hurry it; that I will not hurry myself; that I will take things +easy and comfortably, write when I choose to write, leave it alone when I +so prefer. The printers must wait, the artists, the canvassers, and all +the rest. I have got everything at a dead standstill, and that is where +it ought to be, and that is where it must remain; to follow any other +policy would be to make the book worse than it already is. I ought to +have finished it before showing to anybody, and then sent it across the +ocean to you to be edited, as usual; for you seem to be a great many +shades happier than you deserve to be, and if I had thought of this thing +earlier, I would have acted upon it and taken the tuck somewhat out of +your joyousness. + +In the same mail with your letter, arrived the enclosed from Orme the +motor man. You will observe that he has an office. I will explain that +this is a law office and I think it probably does him as much good to +have a law office without anything to do in it, as it would another man +to have one with an active business attached. You see he is on the +electric light lay now. Going to light the city and allow me to take all +the stock if I want to. And he will manage it free of charge. It never +would occur to this simple soul how much less costly it would be to me, +to hire him on a good salary not to manage it. Do you observe the same +old eagerness, the same old hurry, springing from the fear that if he +does not move with the utmost swiftness, that colossal opportunity will +escape him? Now just fancy this same frantic plunging after vast +opportunities, going on week after week with this same man, during fifty +entire years, and he has not yet learned, in the slightest degree, that +there isn't any occasion to hurry; that his vast opportunity will always +wait; and that whether it waits or flies, he certainly will never catch +it. This immortal hopefulness, fortified by its immortal and unteachable +misjudgment, is the immortal feature of this character, for a play; and +we will write that play. We should be fools else. That staccato +postscript reads as if some new and mighty business were imminent, for it +is slung on the paper telegraphically, all the small words left out. +I am afraid something newer and bigger than the electric light is +swinging across his orbit. Save this letter for an inspiration. I have +got a hundred more. + +Cable has been here, creating worshipers on all hands. He is a marvelous +talker on a deep subject. I do not see how even Spencer could unwind a +thought more smoothly or orderly, and do it in a cleaner, clearer, +crisper English. He astounded Twichell with his faculty. You know when +it comes down to moral honesty, limpid innocence, and utterly blemishless +piety, the Apostles were mere policemen to Cable; so with this in mind +you must imagine him at a midnight dinner in Boston the other night, +where we gathered around the board of the Summerset Club; Osgood, full, +Boyle O'Reilly, full, Fairchild responsively loaded, and Aldrich and +myself possessing the floor, and properly fortified. Cable told Mrs. +Clemens when he returned here, that he seemed to have been entertaining +himself with horses, and had a dreamy idea that he must have gone to +Boston in a cattle-car. It was a very large time. He called it an orgy. +And no doubt it was, viewed from his standpoint. + +I wish I were in Switzerland, and I wish we could go to Florence; but we +have to leave these delights to you; there is no helping it. We all join +in love to you and all the family. + Yours as ever + MARK. + + + + +XXIII. + +LETTERS, 1883, TO HOWELLS AND OTHERS. A GUEST OF THE MARQUIS OF LORNE. +THE HISTORY GAME. A PLAY BY HOWELLS AND MARK TWAIN + + Mark Twain, in due season, finished the Mississippi book and placed + it in Osgood's hands for publication. It was a sort of partnership + arrangement in which Clemens was to furnish the money to make the + book, and pay Osgood a percentage for handling it. It was, in fact, + the beginning of Mark Twain's adventures as a publisher. + + Howells was not as happy in Florence as he had hoped to be. The + social life there overwhelmed him. In February he wrote: "Our two + months in Florence have been the most ridiculous time that ever even + half-witted people passed. We have spent them in chasing round + after people for whom we cared nothing, and being chased by them. + My story isn't finished yet, and what part of it is done bears the + fatal marks of haste and distraction. Of course, I haven't put pen + to paper yet on the play. I wring my hands and beat my breast when + I think of how these weeks have been wasted; and how I have been + forced to waste them by the infernal social circumstances from which + I couldn't escape." + + Clemens, now free from the burden of his own book, was light of + heart and full of ideas and news; also of sympathy and appreciation. + Howells's story of this time was "A Woman's Reason." Governor + Jewell, of this letter, was Marshall Jewell, Governor of Connecticut + from 1871 to 1873. Later, he was Minister to Russia, and in 1874 + was United States Postmaster-General. + + + To W. D. Howells, in Florence: + + HARTFORD, March 1st, 1883. +MY DEAR HOWELLS,--We got ourselves ground up in that same mill, once, in +London, and another time in Paris. It is a kind of foretaste of hell. +There is no way to avoid it except by the method which you have now +chosen. One must live secretly and cut himself utterly off from the +human race, or life in Europe becomes an unbearable burden and work an +impossibility. I learned something last night, and maybe it may +reconcile me to go to Europe again sometime. I attended one of the +astonishingly popular lectures of a man by the name of Stoddard, who +exhibits interesting stereopticon pictures and then knocks the interest +all out of them with his comments upon them. But all the world go there +to look and listen, and are apparently well satisfied. And they ought to +be fully satisfied, if the lecturer would only keep still, or die in the +first act. But he described how retired tradesmen and farmers in Holland +load a lazy scow with the family and the household effects, and then loaf +along the waterways of the low countries all the summer long, paying no +visits, receiving none, and just lazying a heavenly life out in their own +private unpestered society, and doing their literary work, if they have +any, wholly uninterrupted. If you had hired such a boat and sent for us +we should have a couple of satisfactory books ready for the press now +with no marks of interruption, vexatious wearinesses, and other +hellishnesses visible upon them anywhere. We shall have to do this +another time. We have lost an opportunity for the present. Do you +forget that Heaven is packed with a multitude of all nations and that +these people are all on the most familiar how-the-hell-are-you footing +with Talmage swinging around the circle to all eternity hugging the +saints and patriarchs and archangels, and forcing you to do the same +unless you choose to make yourself an object of remark if you refrain? +Then why do you try to get to Heaven? Be warned in time. + +We have all read your two opening numbers in the Century, and consider +them almost beyond praise. I hear no dissent from this verdict. I did +not know there was an untouched personage in American life, but I had +forgotten the auctioneer. You have photographed him accurately. + +I have been an utterly free person for a month or two; and I do not +believe I ever so greatly appreciated and enjoyed--and realized the +absence of the chains of slavery as I do this time. Usually my first +waking thought in the morning is, "I have nothing to do to-day, I belong +to nobody, I have ceased from being a slave." Of course the highest +pleasure to be got out of freedom, and having nothing to do, is labor. +Therefore I labor. But I take my time about it. I work one hour or four +as happens to suit my mind, and quit when I please. And so these days +are days of entire enjoyment. I told Clark the other day, to jog along +comfortable and not get in a sweat. I said I believed you would not be +able to enjoy editing that library over there, where you have your own +legitimate work to do and be pestered to death by society besides; +therefore I thought if he got it ready for you against your return, that +that would be best and pleasantest. + +You remember Governor Jewell, and the night he told about Russia, down in +the library. He was taken with a cold about three weeks ago, and I +stepped over one evening, proposing to beguile an idle hour for him with +a yarn or two, but was received at the door with whispers, and the +information that he was dying. His case had been dangerous during that +day only and he died that night, two hours after I left. His taking off +was a prodigious surprise, and his death has been most widely and +sincerely regretted. Win. E. Dodge, the father-in-law of one of Jewell's +daughters, dropped suddenly dead the day before Jewell died, but Jewell +died without knowing that. Jewell's widow went down to New York, to +Dodge's house, the day after Jewell's funeral, and was to return here day +before yesterday, and she did--in a coffin. She fell dead, of heart +disease, while her trunks were being packed for her return home. +Florence Strong, one of Jewell's daughters, who lives in Detroit, started +East on an urgent telegram, but missed a connection somewhere, and did +not arrive here in time to see her father alive. She was his favorite +child, and they had always been like lovers together. He always sent her +a box of fresh flowers once a week to the day of his death; a custom +which he never suspended even when he was in Russia. Mrs. Strong had +only just reached her Western home again when she was summoned to +Hartford to attend her mother's funeral. + +I have had the impulse to write you several times. I shall try to +remember better henceforth. + +With sincerest regards to all of you, + Yours as ever, + MARK. + + + Mark Twain made another trip to Canada in the interest of copyright- + this time to protect the Mississippi book. When his journey was + announced by the press, the Marquis of Lorne telegraphed an + invitation inviting him to be his guest at Rideau Hall, in Ottawa. + Clemens accepted, of course, and was handsomely entertained by the + daughter of Queen Victoria and her husband, then Governor-General of + Canada. + + On his return to Hartford he found that Osgood had issued a curious + little book, for which Clemens had prepared an introduction. It was + an absurd volume, though originally issued with serious intent, its + title being The New Guide of the Conversation in Portuguese and + English.'--[The New Guide of the Conversation in Portuguese and + English, by Pedro Caxolino, with an introduction by Mark Twain. + Osgood, Boston, 1883. ]--Evidently the "New Guide" was prepared by + some simple Portuguese soul with but slight knowledge of English + beyond that which could be obtained from a dictionary, and his + literal translation of English idioms are often startling, as, for + instance, this one, taken at random: + + "A little learneds are happies enough for to may to satisfy their + fancies on the literature." + + Mark Twain thought this quaint book might amuse his royal hostess, + and forwarded a copy in what he considered to be the safe and proper + form. + + To Col. De Winton, in Ottawa, Canada: + + HARTFORD, June 4, '83. +DEAR COLONEL DE WINTON,--I very much want to send a little book to her +Royal Highness--the famous Portuguese phrase book; but I do not know the +etiquette of the matter, and I would not wittingly infringe any rule of +propriety. It is a book which I perfectly well know will amuse her "some +at most" if she has not seen it before, and will still amuse her "some at +least," even if she has inspected it a hundred times already. So I will +send the book to you, and you who know all about the proper observances +will protect me from indiscretion, in case of need, by putting the said +book in the fire, and remaining as dumb as I generally was when I was up +there. I do not rebind the thing, because that would look as if I +thought it worth keeping, whereas it is only worth glancing at and +casting aside. + +Will you please present my compliments to Mrs. De Winton and Mrs. +Mackenzie?--and I beg to make my sincere compliments to you, also, for +your infinite kindnesses to me. I did have a delightful time up there, +most certainly. + Truly yours + S. L. CLEMENS. + +P. S. Although the introduction dates a year back, the book is only just +now issued. A good long delay. + + S. L. C. + + Howells, writing from Venice, in April, manifested special interest + in the play project: "Something that would run like Scheherazade, + for a thousand and one nights," so perhaps his book was going + better. He proposed that they devote the month of October to the + work, and inclosed a letter from Mallory, who owned not only a + religious paper, The Churchman, but also the Madison Square Theater, + and was anxious for a Howells play. Twenty years before Howells had + been Consul to Venice, and he wrote, now: "The idea of my being here + is benumbing and silencing. I feel like the Wandering Jew, or the + ghost of the Cardiff giant." + + He returned to America in July. Clemens sent him word of welcome, + with glowing reports of his own undertakings. The story on which he + was piling up MS. was The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn, begun + seven years before at Quarry Farm. He had no great faith in it + then, and though he had taken it up again in 1880, his interest had + not lasted to its conclusion. This time, however, he was in the + proper spirit, and the story would be finished. + + + To W. D. Howells, in Boston: + + ELMIRA, July 20, '83. +MY DEAR HOWELLS,--We are desperately glad you and your gang are home +again--may you never travel again, till you go aloft or alow. Charley +Clark has gone to the other side for a run--will be back in August. He +has been sick, and needed the trip very much. + +Mrs. Clemens had a long and wasting spell of sickness last Spring, but +she is pulling up, now. The children are booming, and my health is +ridiculous, it's so robust, notwithstanding the newspaper misreports. + +I haven't piled up MS so in years as I have done since we came here to +the farm three weeks and a half ago. Why, it's like old times, to step +right into the study, damp from the breakfast table, and sail right in +and sail right on, the whole day long, without thought of running short +of stuff or words. + +I wrote 4000 words to-day and I touch 3000 and upwards pretty often, and +don't fall below 1600 any working day. And when I get fagged out, I lie +abed a couple of days and read and smoke, and then go it again for 6 or 7 +days. I have finished one small book, and am away along in a big 433 +one that I half-finished two or three years ago. I expect to complete it +in a month or six weeks or two months more. And I shall like it, whether +anybody else does or not. + +It's a kind of companion to Tom Sawyer. There's a raft episode from it +in second or third chapter of life on the Mississippi..... + +I'm booming, these days--got health and spirits to waste--got an +overplus; and if I were at home, we would write a play. But we must do +it anyhow by and by. + +We stay here till Sep. 10; then maybe a week at Indian Neck for sea air, +then home. + +We are powerful glad you are all back; and send love according. + + Yrs Ever + MARK + + + To Onion Clemens and family, in Keokuk, Id.: + + ELMIRA, July 22, '83. +Private + +DEAR MA AND ORION AND MOLLIE,--I don't know that I have anything new to +report, except that Livy is still gaining, and all the rest of us +flourishing. I haven't had such booming working-days for many years. +I am piling up manuscript in a really astonishing way. I believe I shall +complete, in two months, a book which I have been fooling over for +7 years. This summer it is no more trouble to me to write than it is to +lie. + +Day before yesterday I felt slightly warned to knock off work for one +day. So I did it, and took the open air. Then I struck an idea for the +instruction of the children, and went to work and carried it out. It +took me all day. I measured off 817 feet of the road-way in our farm +grounds, with a foot-rule, and then divided it up among the English +reigns, from the Conqueror down to 1883, allowing one foot to the year. +I whittled out a basket of little pegs and drove one in the ground at the +beginning of each reign, and gave it that King's name--thus: + +I measured all the reigns exactly as many feet to the reign as there were +years in it. You can look out over the grounds and see the little pegs +from the front door--some of them close together, like Richard II, +Richard Cromwell, James II, &c; and some prodigiously wide apart, like +Henry III, Edward III, George III, &c. It gives the children a realizing +sense of the length or brevity of a reign. Shall invent a violent game +to go with it. + +And in bed, last night, I invented a way to play it indoors--in a far +more voluminous way, as to multiplicity of dates and events--on a +cribbage board. + +Hello, supper's ready. + Love to all. + Good bye. + SAML. + + + Onion Clemens would naturally get excited over the idea of the game + and its commercial possibilities. Not more so than his brother, + however, who presently employed him to arrange a quantity of + historical data which the game was to teach. For a season, indeed, + interest in the game became a sort of midsummer madness which + pervaded the two households, at Keokuk and at Quarry Farm. Howells + wrote his approval of the idea of "learning history by the running + foot," which was a pun, even if unintentional, for in its out-door + form it was a game of speed as well as knowledge. + + Howells adds that he has noticed that the newspapers are exploiting + Mark Twain's new invention of a history game, and we shall presently + see how this happened. + + Also, in this letter, Howells speaks of an English nobleman to whom + he has given a letter of introduction. "He seemed a simple, quiet, + gentlemanly man, with a good taste in literature, which he evinced + by going about with my books in his pockets, and talking of yours." + + + To W. D. Howells, in Boston: + +MY DEAR HOWELLS,--How odd it seems, to sit down to write a letter with +the feeling that you've got time to do it. But I'm done work, for this +season, and so have got time. I've done two seasons' work in one, and +haven't anything left to do, now, but revise. I've written eight or nine +hundred MS pages in such a brief space of time that I mustn't name the +number of days; I shouldn't believe it myself, and of course couldn't +expect you to. I used to restrict myself to 4 or 5 hours a day and +5 days in the week, but this time I've wrought from breakfast till +5.15 p.m. six days in the week; and once or twice I smouched a Sunday +when the boss wasn't looking. Nothing is half so good as literature +hooked on Sunday, on the sly. + +I wrote you and Twichell on the same night, about the game, and was +appalled to get a note from him saying he was going to print part of my +letter, and was going to do it before I could get a chance to forbid it. +I telegraphed him, but was of course too late. + +If you haven't ever tried to invent an indoor historical game, don't. +I've got the thing at last so it will work, I guess, but I don't want any +more tasks of that kind. When I wrote you, I thought I had it; whereas I +was only merely entering upon the initiatory difficulties of it. I might +have known it wouldn't be an easy job, or somebody would have invented a +decent historical game long ago--a thing which nobody had done. I think +I've got it in pretty fair shape--so I have caveated it. + +Earl of Onston--is that it? All right, we shall be very glad to receive +them and get acquainted with them. And much obliged to you, too. +There's plenty of worse people than the nobilities. I went up and spent +a week with the Marquis and the Princess Louise, and had as good a time +as I want. + +I'm powerful glad you are all back again; and we will come up there if +our little tribe will give us the necessary furlough; and if we can't get +it, you folks must come to us and give us an extension of time. We get +home Sept. 11. + +Hello, I think I see Waring coming! + +Good-by-letter from Clark, which explains for him. + +Love to you all from the + CLEMENSES. + +No--it wasn't Waring. I wonder what the devil has become of that man. +He was to spend to-day with us, and the day's most gone, now. + +We are enjoying your story with our usual unspeakableness; and I'm right +glad you threw in the shipwreck and the mystery--I like it. Mrs. Crane +thinks it's the best story you've written yet. We--but we always think +the last one is the best. And why shouldn't it be? Practice helps. + +P. S. I thought I had sent all our loves to all of you, but Mrs. Clemens +says I haven't. Damn it, a body can't think of everything; but a woman +thinks you can. I better seal this, now--else there'll be more +criticism. + +I perceive I haven't got the love in, yet. Well, we do send the love of +all the family to all the Howellses. + S. L. C. + + +There had been some delay and postponement in the matter of the play +which Howells and Clemens agreed to write. They did not put in the +entire month of October as they had planned, but they did put in a +portion of that month, the latter half, working out their old idea. +In the end it became a revival of Colonel Sellers, or rather a caricature +of that gentle hearted old visionary. Clemens had always complained that +the actor Raymond had never brought out the finer shades of Colonel +Sellers's character, but Raymond in his worst performance never belied +his original as did Howells and Clemens in his dramatic revival. These +two, working together, let their imaginations run riot with disastrous +results. The reader can judge something of this himself, from The +American Claimant the book which Mark Twain would later build from the +play. + +But at this time they thought it a great triumph. They had "cracked +their sides" laughing over its construction, as Howells once said, and +they thought the world would do the same over its performance. They +decided to offer it to Raymond, but rather haughtily, indifferently, +because any number of other actors would be waiting for it. + +But this was a miscalculation. Raymond now turned the tables. Though +favorable to the idea of a new play, he declared this one did not present +his old Sellers at all, but a lunatic. In the end he returned the MS. +with a brief note. Attempts had already been made to interest other +actors, and would continue for some time. + + + + +XXIV + +LETTERS, 1884, TO HOWELLS AND OTHERS. CABLE'S GREAT APRIL FOOL. +"HUCK FINN" IN PRESS. MARK TWAIN FOR CLEVELAND. CLEMENS AND CABLE + +Mark Twain had a lingering attack of the dramatic fever that winter. +He made a play of the Prince and Pauper, which Howells pronounced "too +thin and slight and not half long enough." He made another of Tom +Sawyer, and probably destroyed it, for no trace of the MS. exists to-day. +Howells could not join in these ventures, for he was otherwise occupied +and had sickness in his household. + + + To W. D. Howells, in Boston: + + Jan. 7, '84. +MY DEAR HOWELLS,--"O my goodn's", as Jean says. You have now encountered +at last the heaviest calamity that can befall an author. The scarlet +fever, once domesticated, is a permanent member of the family. Money may +desert you, friends forsake you, enemies grow indifferent to you, but the +scarlet fever will be true to you, through thick and thin, till you be +all saved or damned, down to the last one. I say these things to cheer +you. + +The bare suggestion of scarlet fever in the family makes me shudder; I +believe I would almost rather have Osgood publish a book for me. + +You folks have our most sincere sympathy. Oh, the intrusion of this +hideous disease is an unspeakable disaster. + +My billiard table is stacked up with books relating to the Sandwich +Islands: the walls axe upholstered with scraps of paper penciled with +notes drawn from them. I have saturated myself with knowledge of that +unimaginably beautiful land and that most strange and fascinating people. +And I have begun a story. Its hidden motive will illustrate a but-little +considered fact in human nature; that the religious folly you are born in +you will die in, no matter what apparently reasonabler religious folly +may seem to have taken its place meanwhile, and abolished and obliterated +it. I start Bill Ragsdale at 12 years of age, and the heroine at 4, in +the midst of the ancient idolatrous system, with its picturesque and +amazing customs and superstitions, 3 months before the arrival of the +missionaries and the erection of a shallow Christianity upon the ruins of +the old paganism. Then these two will become educated Christians, and +highly civilized. + +And then I will jump 15 years, and do Ragsdale's leper business. When we +came to dramatize, we can draw a deal of matter from the story, all ready +to our hand. + Yrs Ever + MARK. + + + He never finished the Sandwich Islands story which he and Howells + were to dramatize later. His head filled up with other projects, + such as publishing plans, reading-tours, and the like. The type- + setting machine does not appear in the letters of this period, but + it was an important factor, nevertheless. It was costing several + thousand dollars a month for construction and becoming a heavy drain + on Mark Twain's finances. It was necessary to recuperate, and the + anxiety for a profitable play, or some other adventure that would + bring a quick and generous return, grew out of this need. + + Clemens had established Charles L. Webster, his nephew by marriage, + in a New York office, as selling agent for the Mississippi book and + for his plays. He was also planning to let Webster publish the new + book, Huck Finn. + + George W. Cable had proven his ability as a reader, and Clemens saw + possibilities in a reading combination, which was first planned to + include Aldrich, and Howells, and a private car. + + But Aldrich and Howells did not warm to the idea, and the car was + eliminated from the plan. Cable came to visit Clemens in Hartford, + and was taken with the mumps, so that the reading-trip was + postponed. + + The fortunes of the Sellers play were most uncertain and becoming + daily more doubtful. In February, Howells wrote: "If you have got + any comfort in regard to our play I wish you would heave it into my + bosom." + + Cable recovered in time, and out of gratitude planned a great April- + fool surprise for his host. He was a systematic man, and did it in + his usual thorough way. He sent a "private and confidential" + suggestion to a hundred and fifty of Mark Twain's friends and + admirers, nearly all distinguished literary men. The suggestion was + that each one of them should send a request for Mark Twain's + autograph, timing it so that it would arrive on the 1st of April. + All seemed to have responded. Mark Twain's writing-table on April + Fool morning was heaped with letters, asking in every ridiculous + fashion for his "valuable autograph." The one from Aldrich was a + fair sample. He wrote: "I am making a collection of autographs of + our distinguished writers, and having read one of your works, + Gabriel Convoy, I would like to add your name to the list." + + Of course, the joke in this was that Gabriel Convoy was by Bret + Harte, who by this time was thoroughly detested by Mark Twain. The + first one or two of the letters puzzled the victim; then he + comprehended the size and character of the joke and entered into it + thoroughly. One of the letters was from Bloodgood H. Cutter, the + "Poet Lariat" of Innocents Abroad. Cutter, of course, wrote in + "poetry," that is to say, doggerel. Mark Twain's April Fool was a + most pleasant one. + + + Rhymed letter by Bloodgood H. Cutter to Mark Twain: + + LITTLE NECK, LONG ISLAND. + + LONG ISLAND FARMER, TO HIS FRIEND AND PILGRIM BROTHER, + SAMUEL L. CLEMENS, ESQ. + +Friends, suggest in each one's behalf +To write, and ask your autograph. +To refuse that, I will not do, +After the long voyage had with you. +That was a memorable time You wrote in prose, I wrote in Rhyme To +describe the wonders of each place, And the queer customs of each race. + +That is in my memory yet +For while I live I'll not forget. +I often think of that affair +And the many that were with us there. + +As your friends think it for the best +I ask your Autograph with the rest, +Hoping you will it to me send +'Twill please and cheer your dear old friend: + + Yours truly, + BLOODGOOD H. CUTTER. + + + To W. D. Howells, in Boston: + + HARTFORD, Apl 8, '84. +MY DEAR HOWELLS, It took my breath away, and I haven't recovered it yet, +entirely--I mean the generosity of your proposal to read the proofs of +Huck Finn. + +Now if you mean it, old man--if you are in earnest--proceed, in God's +name, and be by me forever blest. I cannot conceive of a rational man +deliberately piling such an atrocious job upon himself; but if there is +such a man and you be that man, why then pile it on. It will cost me a +pang every time I think of it, but this anguish will be eingebusst to me +in the joy and comfort I shall get out of the not having to read the +verfluchtete proofs myself. But if you have repented of your +augenblichlicher Tobsucht and got back to calm cold reason again, I won't +hold you to it unless I find I have got you down in writing somewhere. +Herr, I would not read the proof of one of my books for any fair and +reasonable sum whatever, if I could get out of it. + +The proof-reading on the P & P cost me the last rags of my religion. + M. + + +Howells had written that he would be glad to help out in the reading of +the proofs of Huck Finn, which book Webster by this time had in hand. +Replying to Clemens's eager and grateful acceptance now, he wrote: "It is +all perfectly true about the generosity, unless I am going to read your +proofs from one of the shabby motives which I always find at the bottom +of my soul if I examine it." A characteristic utterance, though we may +be permitted to believe that his shabby motives were fewer and less +shabby than those of mankind in general. + +The proofs which Howells was reading pleased him mightily. Once, during +the summer, he wrote: "if I had written half as good a book as Huck Finn +I shouldn't ask anything better than to read the proofs; even as it is, +I don't, so send them on; they will always find me somewhere." + +This was the summer of the Blaine-Cleveland campaign. Mark Twain, in +company with many other leading men, had mugwumped, and was supporting +Cleveland. From the next letter we gather something of the aspects of +that memorable campaign, which was one of scandal and vituperation. We +learn, too, that the young sculptor, Karl Gerhardt, having completed a +three years' study in Paris, had returned to America a qualified artist. + + + To W. D. Howells, in Boston: + + ELMIRA, Aug. 21, '84. +MY DEAR HOWELLS,--This presidential campaign is too delicious for +anything. Isn't human nature the most consummate sham and lie that was +ever invented? Isn't man a creature to be ashamed of in pretty much all +his aspects? Man, "know thyself "--and then thou wilt despise thyself, +to a dead moral certainty. Take three quite good specimens--Hawley, +Warner, and Charley Clark. Even I do not loathe Blaine more than they +do; yet Hawley is howling for Blaine, Warner and Clark are eating their +daily crow in the paper for him, and all three will vote for him. O +Stultification, where is thy sting, O slave where is thy hickory! + +I suppose you heard how a marble monument for which St. Gaudens was +pecuniarily responsible, burned down in Hartford the other day, +uninsured--for who in the world would ever think of insuring a marble +shaft in a cemetery against a fire?--and left St. Gauden out of pocket +$15,000. + +It was a bad day for artists. Gerhardt finished my bust that day, and +the work was pronounced admirable by all the kin and friends; but in +putting it in plaster (or rather taking it out) next day it got ruined. +It was four or five weeks hard work gone to the dogs. The news flew, and +everybody on the farm flocked to the arbor and grouped themselves about +the wreck in a profound and moving silence--the farm-help, the colored +servants, the German nurse, the children, everybody--a silence +interrupted at wide intervals by absent-minded ejaculations wising from +unconscious breasts as the whole size of the disaster gradually worked +its way home to the realization of one spirit after another. + +Some burst out with one thing, some another; the German nurse put up her +hands and said, "Oh, Schade! oh, schrecklich! "But Gerhardt said +nothing; or almost that. He couldn't word it, I suppose. But he went to +work, and by dark had everything thoroughly well under way for a fresh +start in the morning; and in three days' time had built a new bust which +was a trifle better than the old one--and to-morrow we shall put the +finishing touches on it, and it will be about as good a one as nearly +anybody can make. + Yrs Ever + MARK. + + +If you run across anybody who wants a bust, be sure and recommend +Gerhardt on my say-so. + +But Howells was determinedly for Blaine. "I shall vote for Blaine," he +replied. "I do not believe he is guilty of the things they accuse him +of, and I know they are not proved against him. As for Cleveland, his +private life may be no worse than that of most men, but as an enemy of +that contemptible, hypocritical, lop-sided morality which says a woman +shall suffer all the shame of unchastity and man none, I want to see him +destroyed politically by his past. The men who defend him would take +their wives to the White House if he were president, but if he married +his concubine--'made her an honest woman' they would not go near him. I +can't stand that." + +Certainly this was sound logic, in that day, at least. But it left +Clemens far from satisfied. + + + To W. D. Howells, in Boston: + + ELMIRA, Sept. 17, '84. +MY DEAR HOWELLS,--Somehow I can't seem to rest quiet under the idea of +your voting for Blaine. I believe you said something about the country +and the party. Certainly allegiance to these is well; but as certainly a +man's first duty is to his own conscience and honor--the party or the +country come second to that, and never first. I don't ask you to vote at +all--I only urge you to not soil yourself by voting for Blaine. + +When you wrote before, you were able to say the charges against him were +not proven. But you know now that they are proven, and it seems to me +that that bars you and all other honest and honorable men (who are +independently situated) from voting for him. + +It is not necessary to vote for Cleveland; the only necessary thing to +do, as I understand it, is that a man shall keep himself clean, (by +withholding his vote for an improper man) even though the party and the +country go to destruction in consequence. It is not parties that make or +save countries or that build them to greatness--it is clean men, clean +ordinary citizens, rank and file, the masses. Clean masses are not made +by individuals standing back till the rest become clean. + +As I said before, I think a man's first duty is to his own honor; not to +his country and not to his party. Don't be offended; I mean no offence. +I am not so concerned about the rest of the nation, but--well, good-bye. + Ys Ever + MARK. + + + There does not appear to be any further discussion of the matter + between Howells and Clemens. Their letters for a time contained no + suggestion of politics. + + Perhaps Mark Twain's own political conscience was not entirely clear + in his repudiation of his party; at least we may believe from his + next letter that his Cleveland enthusiasm was qualified by a + willingness to support a Republican who would command his admiration + and honor. The idea of an eleventh-hour nomination was rather + startling, whatever its motive. + + + To Mr. Pierce, in Boston: + + HARTFORD, Oct. 22, '84. +MY DEAR MR. PIERCE,--You know, as well as I do, that the reason the +majority of republicans are going to vote for Blaine is because they feel +that they cannot help themselves. Do not you believe that if Mr. Edmunds +would consent to run for President, on the Independent ticket--even at +this late day--he might be elected? + +Well, if he wouldn't consent, but should even strenuously protest and say +he wouldn't serve if elected, isn't it still wise and fair to nominate +him and vote for him? since his protest would relieve him from all +responsibility; and he couldn't surely find fault with people for forcing +a compliment upon him. And do not you believe that his name thus +compulsorily placed at the head of the Independent column would work +absolutely certain defeat to Blain and save the country's honor? + +Politicians often carry a victory by springing some disgraceful and +rascally mine under the feet of the adversary at the eleventh hour; would +it not be wholesome to vary this thing for once and spring as formidable +a mine of a better sort under the enemy's works? + +If Edmunds's name were put up, I would vote for him in the teeth of all +the protesting and blaspheming he could do in a month; and there are lots +of others who would do likewise. + +If this notion is not a foolish and wicked one, won't you just consult +with some chief Independents, and see if they won't call a sudden +convention and whoop the thing through? To nominate Edmunds the 1st of +November, would be soon enough, wouldn't it? + +With kindest regards to you and the Aldriches, + Yr Truly + S. L. CLEMENS. + + +Clemens and Cable set out on their reading-tour in November. They were a +curiously-assorted pair: Cable was of orthodox religion, exact as to +habits, neat, prim, all that Clemens was not. In the beginning Cable +undertook to read the Bible aloud to Clemens each evening, but this part +of the day's program was presently omitted by request. If they spent +Sunday in a town, Cable was up bright and early visiting the various +churches and Sunday-schools, while Mark Twain remained at the hotel, in +bed, reading or asleep. + + + + +XXV + +THE GREAT YEAR OF 1885. CLEMENS AND CABLE. PUBLICATION OF "HUCK FINN." +THE GRANT MEMOIRS. MARK TWAIN AT FIFTY + + The year 1885 was in some respects the most important, certainly the + most pleasantly exciting, in Mark Twain's life. It was the year in + which he entered fully into the publishing business and launched one + of the most spectacular of all publishing adventures, The Personal + Memoirs of General U. S. Grant. Clemens had not intended to do + general publishing when he arranged with Webster to become sales- + agent for the Mississippi book, and later general agent for Huck + Finn's adventures; he had intended only to handle his own books, + because he was pretty thoroughly dissatisfied with other publishing + arrangements. Even the Library of Humor, which Howells, with Clark, + of the Courant, had put together for him, he left with Osgood until + that publisher failed, during the spring of 1885. Certainly he + never dreamed of undertaking anything of the proportions of the + Grant book. + + He had always believed that Grant could make a book. More than + once, when they had met, he had urged the General to prepare his + memoirs for publication. Howells, in his 'My Mark Twain', tells of + going with Clemens to see Grant, then a member of the ill-fated firm + of Grant and Ward, and how they lunched on beans, bacon and coffee + brought in from a near-by restaurant. It was while they were eating + this soldier fare that Clemens--very likely abetted by Howells-- + especially urged the great commander to prepare his memoirs. But + Grant had become a financier, as he believed, and the prospect of + literary earnings, however large, did not appeal to him. + Furthermore, he was convinced that he was without literary ability + and that a book by him would prove a failure. + + But then, by and by, came a failure more disastrous than anything he + had foreseen--the downfall of his firm through the Napoleonic + rascality of Ward. General Grant was utterly ruined; he was left + without income and apparently without the means of earning one. It + was the period when the great War Series was appeasing in the + Century Magazine. General Grant, hard-pressed, was induced by the + editors to prepare one or more articles, and, finding that he could + write them, became interested in the idea of a book. It is + unnecessary to repeat here the story of how the publication of this + important work passed into the hands of Mark Twain; that is to say, + the firm of Charles L. Webster & Co., the details having been fully + given elsewhere.--[See Mark Twain: A Biography, chap. cliv.]-- + + We will now return for the moment to other matters, as reported in + order by the letters. Clemens and Cable had continued their + reading-tour into Canada, and in February found themselves in + Montreal. Here they were invited by the Toque Bleue Snow-shoe Club + to join in one of their weekly excursions across Mt. Royal. They + could not go, and the reasons given by Mark Twain are not without + interest. The letter is to Mr. George Iles, author of Flame, + Electricity, and the Camera, and many other useful works. + + + To George Iles, far the Toque Blew Snow-shoe Club, + Montreal: + + DETROIT, February 12, 1885. + Midnight, P.S. +MY DEAR ILES,--I got your other telegram a while ago, and answered it, +explaining that I get only a couple of hours in the middle of the day for +social life. I know it doesn't seem rational that a man should have to +lie abed all day in order to be rested and equipped for talking an hour +at night, and yet in my case and Cable's it is so. Unless I get a great +deal of rest, a ghastly dulness settles down upon me on the platform, and +turns my performance into work, and hard work, whereas it ought always to +be pastime, recreation, solid enjoyment. Usually it is just this latter, +but that is because I take my rest faithfully, and prepare myself to do +my duty by my audience. + +I am the obliged and appreciative servant of my brethren of the Snow-shoe +Club, and nothing in the world would delight me more than to come to +their house without naming time or terms on my own part--but you see how +it is. My cast iron duty is to my audience--it leaves me no liberty and +no option. + +With kindest regards to the Club, and to you, + I am Sincerely yours + S. L. CLEMENS. + + In the next letter we reach the end of the Clemens-Cable venture and + get a characteristic summing up of Mark Twain's general attitude + toward the companion of his travels. It must be read only in the + clear realization of Mark Twain's attitude toward orthodoxy, and his + habit of humor. Cable was as rigidly orthodox as Mark Twain was + revolutionary. The two were never anything but the best of friends. + + + To W. D. Howells, in Boston: + + PHILADA. Feb. 27, '85. +MY DEAR HOWELLS,--To-night in Baltimore, to-morrow afternoon and night in +Washington, and my four-months platform campaign is ended at last. It +has been a curious experience. It has taught me that Cable's gifts of +mind are greater and higher than I had suspected. But-- + +That "But" is pointing toward his religion. You will never, never know, +never divine, guess, imagine, how loathsome a thing the Christian +religion can be made until you come to know and study Cable daily and +hourly. Mind you, I like him; he is pleasant company; I rage and swear +at him sometimes, but we do not quarrel; we get along mighty happily +together; but in him and his person I have learned to hate all religions. +He has taught me to abhor and detest the Sabbath-day and hunt up new and +troublesome ways to dishonor it. + +Nat Goodwin was on the train yesterday. He plays in Washington all the +coming week. He is very anxious to get our Sellers play and play it +under changed names. I said the only thing I could do would be to write +to you. Well, I've done it. + Ys Ever + MARK. + + + Clemens and Webster were often at the house of General Grant during + these early days of 1885, and it must have been Webster who was + present with Clemens on the great occasion described in the + following telegram. It was on the last day and hour of President + Arthur's administration that the bill was passed which placed + Ulysses S. Grant as full General with full pay on the retired list, + and it is said that the congressional clock was set back in order + that this enactment might become a law before the administration + changed. General Grant had by this time developed cancer and was + already in feeble health. + + + Telegram to Mrs. Clemens, in Hartford: + + NEW YORK, Mar. 4, 1885. +To MRS. S. L. CLEMENS, We were at General Grant's at noon and a telegram +arrived that the last act of the expiring congress late this morning +retired him with full General's rank and accompanying emoluments. The +effect upon him was like raising the dead. We were present when the +telegram was put in his hand. + + S. L. CLEMENS. + + + Something has been mentioned before of Mark Twain's investments and + the generally unprofitable habit of them. He had a trusting nature, + and was usually willing to invest money on any plausible + recommendation. He was one of thousands such, and being a person of + distinction he now and then received letters of inquiry, complaint, + or condolence. A minister wrote him that he had bought some stocks + recommended by a Hartford banker and advertised in a religious + paper. He added, "After I made that purchase they wrote me that you + had just bought a hundred shares and that you were a 'shrewd' man." + The writer closed by asking for further information. He received + it, as follows: + + + To the Rev. J----, in Baltimore: + + WASHINGTON, Mch. 2,'85. +MY DEAR SIR,--I take my earliest opportunity to answer your favor of Feb. + +B---- was premature in calling me a "shrewd man." I wasn't one at that +time, but am one now--that is, I am at least too shrewd to ever again +invest in anything put on the market by B----. I know nothing whatever +about the Bank Note Co., and never did know anything about it. B---- +sold me about $4,000 or $5,000 worth of the stock at $110, and I own it +yet. He sold me $10,000 worth of another rose-tinted stock about the +same time. I have got that yet, also. I judge that a peculiarity of +B----'s stocks is that they are of the staying kind. I think you should +have asked somebody else whether I was a shrewd man or not for two +reasons: the stock was advertised in a religious paper, a circumstance +which was very suspicious; and the compliment came to you from a man who +was interested to make a purchaser of you. I am afraid you deserve your +loss. A financial scheme advertised in any religious paper is a thing +which any living person ought to know enough to avoid; and when the +factor is added that M. runs that religious paper, a dead person ought to +know enough to avoid it. + Very Truly Yours + S. L. CLEMENS. + + + The story of Huck Finn was having a wide success. Webster handled + it skillfully, and the sales were large. In almost every quarter + its welcome was enthusiastic. Here and there, however, could be + found an exception; Huck's morals were not always approved of by + library reading-committees. The first instance of this kind was + reported from Concord; and would seem not to have depressed the + author-publisher. + + + To Chas. L. Webster, in New York: + + Mch 18, '85. +DEAR CHARLEY,--The Committee of the Public Library of Concord, Mass, have +given us a rattling tip-top puff which will go into every paper in the +country. They have expelled Huck from their library as "trash and +suitable only for the slums." That will sell 25,000 copies for us sure. + + S. L. C. + + + Perhaps the Concord Free Trade Club had some idea of making amends + to Mark Twain for the slight put upon his book by their librarians, + for immediately after the Huck Finn incident they notified him of + his election to honorary membership. + + Those were the days of "authors' readings," and Clemens and Howells + not infrequently assisted at these functions, usually given as + benefits of one kind or another. From the next letter, written + following an entertainment given for the Longfellow memorial, we + gather that Mark Twain's opinion of Howells's reading was steadily + improving. + + + To W. D. Howells, in Boston: + + HARTFORD, May 5, '85. +MY DEAR HOWELLS,--.....Who taught you to read? Observation and thought, +I guess. And practice at the Tavern Club?--yes; and that was the best +teaching of all: + +Well, you sent even your daintiest and most delicate and fleeting points +home to that audience--absolute proof of good reading. But you couldn't +read worth a damn a few years ago. I do not say this to flatter. It is +true I looked around for you when I was leaving, but you had already +gone. + +Alas, Osgood has failed at last. It was easy to see that he was on the +very verge of it a year ago, and it was also easy to see that he was +still on the verge of it a month or two ago; but I continued to hope--but +not expect that he would pull through. The Library of Humor is at his +dwelling house, and he will hand it to you whenever you want it. + +To save it from any possibility of getting mixed up in the failure, +perhaps you had better send down and get it. I told him, the other day, +that an order of any kind from you would be his sufficient warrant for +its delivery to you. + +In two days General Grant has dictated 50 pages of foolscap, and thus the +Wilderness and Appomattox stand for all time in his own words. This +makes the second volume of his book as valuable as the first. + +He looks mighty well, these latter days. + Yrs Ever + MARK. + + + "I am exceedingly glad," wrote Howells, "that you approve of my + reading, for it gives me some hope that I may do something on the + platform next winter..... but I would never read within a hundred + miles of you, if I could help it. You simply straddled down to the + footlights and took that house up in the hollow of your hand and + tickled it." + + + To W. D. Howells, in Boston: + + ELMIRA, July 21, 1885. +MY DEAR HOWELLS,--You are really my only author; I am restricted to you, +I wouldn't give a damn for the rest. + +I bored through Middlemarch during the past week, with its labored and +tedious analyses of feelings and motives, its paltry and tiresome people, +its unexciting and uninteresting story, and its frequent blinding flashes +of single-sentence poetry, philosophy, wit, and what not, and nearly died +from the overwork. I wouldn't read another of those books for a farm. +I did try to read one other--Daniel Deronda. I dragged through three +chapters, losing flesh all the time, and then was honest enough to quit, +and confess to myself that I haven't any romance literature appetite, as +far as I can see, except for your books. + +But what I started to say, was, that I have just read Part II of Indian +Summer, and to my mind there isn't a waste line in it, or one that could +be improved. I read it yesterday, ending with that opinion; and read it +again to-day, ending with the same opinion emphasized. I haven't read +Part I yet, because that number must have reached Hartford after we left; +but we are going to send down town for a copy, and when it comes I am to +read both parts aloud to the family. It is a beautiful story, and makes +a body laugh all the time, and cry inside, and feel so old and so +forlorn; and gives him gracious glimpses of his lost youth that fill him +with a measureless regret, and build up in him a cloudy sense of his +having been a prince, once, in some enchanted far-off land, and of being +an exile now, and desolate--and Lord, no chance ever to get back there +again! That is the thing that hurts. Well, you have done it with +marvelous facility and you make all the motives and feelings perfectly +clear without analyzing the guts out of them, the way George Eliot does. +I can't stand George Eliot and Hawthorne and those people; I see what +they are at a hundred years before they get to it and they just tire me +to death. And as for "The Bostonians," I would rather be damned to John +Bunyan's heaven than read that. + Yrs Ever + MARK + + + It is as easy to understand Mark Twain's enjoyment of Indian Summer + as his revolt against Daniel Deronda and The Bostonians. He cared + little for writing that did not convey its purpose in the simplest + and most direct terms. It is interesting to note that in thanking + Clemens for his compliment Howells wrote: "What people cannot see is + that I analyze as little as possible; they go on talking about the + analytical school, which I am supposed to belong to, and I want to + thank you for using your eyes..... Did you ever read De Foe's + 'Roxana'? If not, then read it, not merely for some of the deepest + insights into the lying, suffering, sinning, well-meaning human + soul, but for the best and most natural English that a book was ever + written in." + + General Grant worked steadily on his book, dictating when he could, + making brief notes on slips of paper when he could no longer speak. + Clemens visited him at Mt. McGregor and brought the dying soldier + the comforting news that enough of his books were already sold to + provide generously for his family, and that the sales would + aggregate at least twice as much by the end of the year. + + This was some time in July. On the 23d of that month General Grant + died. Immediately there was a newspaper discussion as to the most + suitable place for the great chieftain to lie. Mark Twain's + contribution to this debate, though in the form of an open letter, + seems worthy of preservation here. + + + To the New York "Sun," on the proper place for Grant's Tomb: + +To THE EDITOR OP' THE SUN:--SIR,--The newspaper atmosphere is charged +with objections to New York as a place of sepulchre for General Grant, +and the objectors are strenuous that Washington is the right place. They +offer good reasons--good temporary reasons--for both of these positions. + +But it seems to me that temporary reasons are not mete for the occasion. +We need to consider posterity rather than our own generation. We should +select a grave which will not merely be in the right place now, but will +still be in the right place 500 years from now. + +How does Washington promise as to that? You have only to hit it in one +place to kill it. Some day the west will be numerically strong enough to +move the seat of government; her past attempts are a fair warning that +when the day comes she will do it. Then the city of Washington will lose +its consequence and pass out of the public view and public talk. It is +quite within the possibilities that, a century hence, people would wonder +and say, "How did your predecessors come to bury their great dead in this +deserted place?" + +But as long as American civilisation lasts New York will last. I cannot +but think she has been well and wisely chosen as the guardian of a grave +which is destined to become almost the most conspicuous in the world's +history. Twenty centuries from now New York will still be New York, +still a vast city, and the most notable object in it will still be the +tomb and monument of General Grant. + +I observe that the common and strongest objection to New York is that she +is not "national ground." Let us give ourselves no uneasiness about +that. Wherever General Grant's body lies, that is national ground. + + S. L. CLEMENS. +ELMIRA, July 27. + + + The letter that follows is very long, but it seems too important and + too interesting to be omitted in any part. General Grant's early + indulgence in liquors had long been a matter of wide, though not + very definite, knowledge. Every one had heard how Lincoln, on being + told that Grant drank, remarked something to the effect that he + would like to know what kind of whisky Grant used so that he might + get some of it for his other generals. Henry Ward Beecher, selected + to deliver a eulogy on the dead soldier, and doubtless wishing + neither to ignore the matter nor to make too much of it, naturally + turned for information to the publisher of Grant's own memoirs, + hoping from an advance copy to obtain light. + + + To Henry Ward Beecher,.Brooklyn: + + ELMIRA, N. Y. Sept. 11, '85. +MY DEAR MR. BEECHER,--My nephew Webster is in Europe making contracts for +the Memoirs. Before he sailed he came to me with a writing, directed to +the printers and binders, to this effect: + +"Honor no order for a sight or copy of the Memoirs while I am absent, +even though it be signed by Mr. Clemens himself." + +I gave my permission. There were weighty reasons why I should not only +give my permission, but hold it a matter of honor to not dissolve the +order or modify it at any time. So I did all of that--said the order +should stand undisturbed to the end. If a principal could dissolve his +promise as innocently as he can dissolve his written order unguarded by +his promise, I would send you a copy of the Memoirs instantly. I did not +foresee you, or I would have made an exception. + + ........................... + +My idea gained from army men, is that the drunkenness (and sometimes +pretty reckless spreeing, nights,) ceased before he came East to be Lt. +General. (Refer especially to Gen. Wm. B. Franklin--[If you could see +Franklin and talk with him--then he would unbosom,]) It was while Grant +was still in the West that Mr. Lincoln said he wished he could find out +what brand of whisky that fellow used, so he could furnish it to some of +the other generals. Franklin saw Grant tumble from his horse drunk, +while reviewing troops in New Orleans. The fall gave him a good deal of +a hurt. He was then on the point of leaving for the Chattanooga region. +I naturally put "that and that together" when I read Gen. O. O. Howards's +article in the Christian Union, three or four weeks ago--where he +mentions that the new General arrived lame from a recent accident. +(See that article.) And why not write Howard? + +Franklin spoke positively of the frequent spreeing. In camp--in time of +war. + + ......................... + +Captain Grant was frequently threatened by the Commandant of his Oregon +post with a report to the War Department of his conduct unless he +modified his intemperance. The report would mean dismissal from the +service. At last the report had to be made out; and then, so greatly was +the captain beloved, that he was privately informed, and was thus enabled +to rush his resignation to Washington ahead of the report. Did the +report go, nevertheless? I don't know. If it did, it is in the War +Department now, possibly, and seeable. I got all this from a regular +army man, but I can't name him to save me. + +The only time General Grant ever mentioned liquor to me was about last +April or possibly May. He said: + +"If I could only build up my strength! The doctors urge whisky and +champagne; but I can't take them; I can't abide the taste of any kind of +liquor." + +Had he made a conquest so complete that even the taste of liquor was +become an offense? Or was he so sore over what had been said about his +habit that he wanted to persuade others and likewise himself that he +hadn't even ever had any taste for it? It sounded like the latter, but +that's no evidence. + +He told me in the fall of '84 that there was something the matter with +his throat, and that at the suggestion of his physicians he had reduced +his smoking to one cigar a day. Then he added, in a casual fashion, that +he didn't care for that one, and seldom smoked it. + +I could understand that feeling. He had set out to conquer not the habit +but the inclination--the desire. He had gone at the root, not the trunk. +It's the perfect way and the only true way (I speak from experience.) +How I do hate those enemies of the human race who go around enslaving +God's free people with pledges--to quit drinking instead of to quit +wanting to drink. + +But Sherman and Van Vliet know everything concerning Grant; and if you +tell them how you want to use the facts, both of them will testify. +Regular army men have no concealments about each other; and yet they make +their awful statements without shade or color or malice with a frankness +and a child-like naivety, indeed, which is enchanting-and stupefying. +West Point seems to teach them that, among other priceless things not to +be got in any other college in this world. If we talked about our guild- +mates as I have heard Sherman, Grant, Van Vliet and others talk about +theirs--mates with whom they were on the best possible terms--we could +never expect them to speak to us again. + + ....................... + +I am reminded, now, of another matter. The day of the funeral I sat an +hour over a single drink and several cigars with Van Vliet and Sherman +and Senator Sherman.; and among other things Gen. Sherman said, with +impatient scorn: + +"The idea of all this nonsense about Grant not being able to stand rude +language and indelicate stories! Why Grant was full of humor, and full +of the appreciation of it. I have sat with him by the hour listening to +Jim Nye's yarns, and I reckon you know the style of Jim Nye's histories, +Clemens. It makes me sick--that newspaper nonsense. Grant was no namby- +pamby fool, he was a man--all over--rounded and complete." + +I wish I had thought of it! I would have said to General Grant: "Put +the drunkenness in the Memoirs--and the repentance and reform. Trust the +people." + +But I will wager there is not a hint in the book. He was sore, there. +As much of the book as I have read gives no hint, as far as I recollect. + +The sick-room brought out the points of Gen. Grant's character--some of +them particularly, to wit: + +His patience; his indestructible equability of temper; his exceeding +gentleness, kindness, forbearance, lovingness, charity; his loyalty: to +friends, to convictions, to promises, half-promises, infinitesimal +fractions and shadows of promises; (There was a requirement of him which +I considered an atrocity, an injustice, an outrage; I wanted to implore +him to repudiate it; Fred Grant said, "Save your labor, I know him; he is +in doubt as to whether he made that half-promise or not--and, he will +give the thing the benefit of the doubt; he will fulfill that half- +promise or kill himself trying;" Fred Grant was right--he did fulfill +it;) his aggravatingly trustful nature; his genuineness, simplicity, +modesty, diffidence, self-depreciation, poverty in the quality of vanity- +and, in no contradiction of this last, his simple pleasure in the flowers +and general ruck sent to him by Tom, Dick and Harry from everywhere--a +pleasure that suggested a perennial surprise that he should be the object +of so much fine attention--he was the most lovable great child in the +world; (I mentioned his loyalty: you remember Harrison, the colored body- +servant? the whole family hated him, but that did not make any +difference, the General always stood at his back, wouldn't allow him to +be scolded; always excused his failures and deficiencies with the one +unvarying formula, "We are responsible for these things in his race--it +is not fair to visit our fault upon them--let him alone;" so they did let +him alone, under compulsion, until the great heart that was his shield +was taken away; then--well they simply couldn't stand him, and so they +were excusable for determining to discharge him--a thing which they +mortally hated to do, and by lucky accident were saved from the necessity +of doing;) his toughness as a bargainer when doing business for other +people or for his country (witness his "terms" at Donelson, Vicksburg, +etc.; Fred Grant told me his father wound up an estate for the widow and +orphans of a friend in St. Louis--it took several years; at the end every +complication had been straightened out, and the property put upon a +prosperous basis; great sums had passed through his hands, and when he +handed over the papers there were vouchers to show what had been done +with every penny) and his trusting, easy, unexacting fashion when doing +business for himself (at that same time he was paying out money in +driblets to a man who was running his farm for him--and in his first +Presidency he paid every one of those driblets again (total, $3,000 F. +said,) for he hadn't a scrap of paper to show that he had ever paid them +before; in his dealings with me he would not listen to terms which would +place my money at risk and leave him protected--the thought plainly gave +him pain, and he put it from him, waved it off with his hands, as one +does accounts of crushings and mutilations--wouldn't listen, changed the +subject;) and his fortitude! He was under, sentence of death last +spring; he sat thinking, musing, several days--nobody knows what about; +then he pulled himself together and set to work to finish that book, +a colossal task for a dying man. Presently his hand gave out; fate +seemed to have got him checkmated. Dictation was suggested. No, he +never could do that; had never tried it; too old to learn, now. By and +by--if he could only do Appomattox-well. So he sent for a stenographer, +and dictated 9,000 words at a single sitting!--never pausing, never +hesitating for a word, never repeating--and in the written-out copy he +made hardly a correction. He dictated again, every two or three days-- +the intervals were intervals of exhaustion and slow recuperation--and at +last he was able to tell me that he had written more matter than could be +got into the book. I then enlarged the book--had to. Then he lost his +voice. He was not quite done yet, however:--there was no end of little +plums and spices to be stuck in, here and there; and this work he +patiently continued, a few lines a day, with pad and pencil, till far +into July, at Mt. McGregor. One day he put his pencil aside, and said +he was done--there was nothing more to do. If I had been there I could +have foretold the shock that struck the world three days later. + +Well, I've written all this, and it doesn't seem to amount to anything. +But I do want to help, if I only could. I will enclose some scraps from +my Autobiography--scraps about General Grant--they may be of some trifle +of use, and they may not--they at least verify known traits of his +character. My Autobiography is pretty freely dictated, but my idea is to +jack-plane it a little before I die, some day or other; I mean the rude +construction and rotten grammar. It is the only dictating I ever did, +and it was most troublesome and awkward work. You may return it to +Hartford. + Sincerely Yours + S. L. CLEMENS. + + + The old long-deferred Library of Humor came up again for discussion, + when in the fall of 1885 Howells associated himself with Harper & + Brothers. Howells's contract provided that his name was not to + appear on any book not published by the Harper firm. He wrote, + therefore, offering to sell out his interest in the enterprise for + two thousand dollars, in addition to the five hundred which he had + already received--an amount considered to be less than he was to + have received as joint author and compiler. Mark Twain's answer + pretty fully covers the details of this undertaking. + + + To W. D. Howells, in Boston: + + HARTFORD, Oct. 18, 1885. +Private. + +MY DEAR HOWELLS,--I reckon it would ruin the book that is, make it +necessary to pigeon-hole it and leave it unpublished. I couldn't publish +it without a very responsible name to support my own on the title page, +because it has so much of my own matter in it. I bought Osgood's rights +for $3,000 cash, I have paid Clark $800 and owe him $700 more, which must +of course be paid whether I publish or not. Yet I fully recognize that I +have no sort of moral right to let that ancient and procrastinated +contract hamper you in any way, and I most certainly won't. So, it is my +decision,--after thinking over and rejecting the idea of trying to buy +permission of the Harpers for $2,500 to use your name, (a proposition +which they would hate to refuse to a man in a perplexed position, and yet +would naturally have to refuse it,) to pigeon-hole the "Library": not +destroy it, but merely pigeon-hole it and wait a few years and see what +new notion Providence will take concerning it. He will not desert us +now, after putting in four licks to our one on this book all this time. +It really seems in a sense discourteous not to call it "Providence's +Library of Humor." + +Now that deal is all settled, the next question is, do you need and must +you require that $2,000 now? Since last March, you know, I am carrying a +mighty load, solitary and alone--General Grant's book--and must carry it +till the first volume is 30 days old (Jan. 1st) before the relief money +will begin to flow in. From now till the first of January every dollar +is as valuable to me as it could be to a famishing tramp. If you can +wait till then--I mean without discomfort, without inconvenience--it will +be a large accommodation to me; but I will not allow you to do this favor +if it will discommode you. So, speak right out, frankly, and if you need +the money I will go out on the highway and get it, using violence, if +necessary. + +Mind, I am not in financial difficulties, and am not going to be. I am +merely a starving beggar standing outside the door of plenty--obstructed +by a Yale time-lock which is set for Jan. 1st. I can stand it, and stand +it perfectly well; but the days do seem to fool along considerable slower +than they used to. + +I am mighty glad you are with the Harpers. I have noticed that good men +in their employ go there to stay. + Yours ever, + MARK. + + + In the next letter we begin to get some idea of the size of Mark + Twain's first publishing venture, and a brief summary of results may + not be out of place here. + + The Grant Life was issued in two volumes. In the early months of + the year when the agents' canvass was just beginning, Mark Twain, + with what seems now almost clairvoyant vision, prophesied a sale of + three hundred thousand sets. The actual sales ran somewhat more + than this number. On February 27, 1886, Charles L. Webster & Co. + paid to Mrs. Grant the largest single royalty check in the history + of book-publishing. The amount of it was two hundred thousand + dollars. Subsequent checks increased the aggregate return to + considerably more than double this figure. In a memorandum made by + Clemens in the midst of the canvass he wrote." + + "During 100 consecutive days the sales (i. e., subscriptions) of + General Grant's book averaged 3,000 sets (6,000 single volumes) per + day: Roughly stated, Mrs. Grant's income during all that time was + $5,000 a day." + + + To W. D. Howells, in Boston: + + HOTEL NORMANDIE + NEW YORK, Dec. 2, '85. +MY DEAR HOWELLS,--I told Webster, this afternoon, to send you that +$2,000; but he is in such a rush, these first days of publication, that +he may possibly forget it; so I write lest I forget it too. Remind me, +if he should forget. When I postponed you lately, I did it because I +thought I should be cramped for money until January, but that has turned +out to be an error, so I hasten to cut short the postponement. + +I judge by the newspapers that you are in Auburndale, but I don't know it +officially. + +I've got the first volume launched safely; consequently, half of the +suspense is over, and I am that much nearer the goal. We've bound and +shipped 200,000 books; and by the 10th shall finish and ship the +remaining 125,000 of the first edition. I got nervous and came down to +help hump-up the binderies; and I mean to stay here pretty much all the +time till the first days of March, when the second volume will issue. +Shan't have so much trouble, this time, though, if we get to press pretty +soon, because we can get more binderies then than are to be had in front +of the holidays. One lives and learns. I find it takes 7 binderies four +months to bind 325,000 books. + +This is a good book to publish. I heard a canvasser say, yesterday, that +while delivering eleven books he took 7 new subscriptions. But we shall +be in a hell of a fix if that goes on--it will "ball up" the binderies +again. + Yrs ever + MARK. + + + November 30th that year was Mark Twain's fiftieth birthday, an event + noticed by the newspapers generally, and especially observed by many + of his friends. Warner, Stockton and many others sent letters; + Andrew Lang contributed a fine poem; also Oliver Wendell. Holmes-- + the latter by special request of Miss Gilder--for the Critic. These + attentions came as a sort of crowning happiness at the end of a + golden year. At no time in his life were Mark Twain's fortunes and + prospects brighter; he had a beautiful family and a perfect home. + Also, he had great prosperity. The reading-tour with Cable had been + a fine success. His latest book, The Adventures of Huckleberry + Finn, had added largely to his fame and income. The publication of + the Grant Memoirs had been a dazzling triumph. Mark Twain had + become recognized, not only as America's most distinguished author, + but as its most envied publisher. And now, with his fiftieth + birthday, had come this laurel from Holmes, last of the Brahmins, to + add a touch of glory to all the rest. We feel his exaltation in his + note of acknowledgment. + + + To Dr. Oliver Wendell Holmes, in Boston: + +DEAR MR. HOLMES,--I shall never be able to tell you the half of how proud +you have made me. If I could you would say you were nearly paid for the +trouble you took. And then the family: If I can convey the electrical +surprise and gratitude and exaltation of the wife and the children last +night, when they happened upon that Critic where I had, with artful +artlessness, spread it open and retired out of view to see what would +happen--well, it was great and fine and beautiful to see, and made me +feel as the victor feels when the shouting hosts march by; and if you +also could have seen it you would have said the account was squared. For +I have brought them up in your company, as in the company of a warm and +friendly and beneficent but far-distant sun; and so, for you to do this +thing was for the sun to send down out of the skies the miracle of a +special ray and transfigure me before their faces. I knew what that poem +would be to them; I knew it would raise me up to remote and shining +heights in their eyes, to very fellowship with the chambered Nautilus +itself, and that from that fellowship they could never more dissociate me +while they should live; and so I made sure to be by when the surprise +should come. + +Charles Dudley Warner is charmed with the poem for its own felicitous +sake; and so indeed am I, but more because it has drawn the sting of my +fiftieth year; taken away the pain of it, the grief of it, the somehow +shame of it, and made me glad and proud it happened. + +With reverence and affection, + Sincerely yours, + S. L. CLEMENS. + + + Holmes wrote with his own hand: "Did Miss Gilder tell you I had + twenty-three letters spread out for answer when her suggestion came + about your anniversary? I stopped my correspondence and made my + letters wait until the lines were done." + + + + +End of this Project Gutenberg Etext of Letters Vol. 3, by Mark Twain + diff --git a/old/mt3lt11.zip b/old/mt3lt11.zip Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..b54e0f0 --- /dev/null +++ b/old/mt3lt11.zip |