diff options
Diffstat (limited to '31897.txt')
| -rw-r--r-- | 31897.txt | 1979 |
1 files changed, 1979 insertions, 0 deletions
diff --git a/31897.txt b/31897.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..87b0597 --- /dev/null +++ b/31897.txt @@ -0,0 +1,1979 @@ +The Project Gutenberg EBook of You Don't Make Wine Like the Greeks Did, by +David E. Fisher + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: You Don't Make Wine Like the Greeks Did + +Author: David E. Fisher + +Illustrator: Leo Summers + +Release Date: April 6, 2010 [EBook #31897] + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ASCII + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK YOU DON'T MAKE WINE LIKE GREEKS *** + + + + +Produced by Greg Weeks, Stephen Blundell and the Online +Distributed Proofreading Team at https://www.pgdp.net + + + + + + + + + + _"Every century has its advantages and its drawbacks," he said. + "We, for instance, have bred out sexual desire. And, as for you + people ..."_ + + + YOU DON'T MAKE WINE + LIKE THE GREEKS DID + +By DAVID E. FISHER + +ILLUSTRATED by SUMMERS + + +On the sixty-third floor of the Empire State Building is, among others +of its type, a rather small office consisting of two rooms connected by +a stout wooden door. The room into which the office door, which is of +opaque glass, opens, is the smaller of the two and serves to house a +receptionist, three not-too-comfortable armchairs, and a disorderly, +homogeneous mixture of _Life's_, _Look's_ and _New Yorker's_. + +[Illustration: Donald was determined to make Mimi go back to their +world--dead or alive!] + +The receptionist is a young woman, half-heartedly pretty but certainly +chic in the manner of New York's women in general and of its working +women in particular, perhaps in her middle twenties, with a paucity of +golden hair which is kept clinging rather back on her skull by an +intricate network of tortoise-shell combs and invisible pins. She is +engaged to a man who is in turn engaged in a position for an advertising +firm just thirty-seven stories directly below her. Her name is Margaret. +She often, in periods when the immediate consummation of the work on her +desk is not of paramount importance, as is often the case, gazes +somnolently at the floor beside her large walnut desk, hoping to catch a +lurking image of her beloved only thirty-seven stories away. She rarely +succeeds in viewing him through the intervening spaces, but she does not +tire of trying; it is a pleasant enough diversion. There is an +electronics firm just five stories above her fiance, and perhaps, she +reasons, there is interference of a sort here. Someday maybe she will +catch them with all their tubes off. Margaret is a romantic, but she is +engaged and thus is entitled. + + * * * * * + +Beyond the entrance that is guarded by the stout wooden door is a larger +room, darker, quieter, one step more removed from the hurrying hallway. +A massive but neat desk is placed before the one set of windows, the +blinds of which are kept closed but tilted toward the sky so that an +aura of pale light is continually seeping through. The main illumination +comes from several lamps placed in strategic corners, their bulbs turned +away from the occupants of the room. + +To one side of the desk is a comfortable-looking deep chair, with +leather arms and a back quite high enough to support one's head. In +front of this is the traditional couch, armless but well-upholstered and +comfortable. At the moment Dr. Victor Quink was sitting not in the deep +chair but in the swivel chair behind the desk. His glasses were lying on +the desk next to his feet, the chair was pushed back as far as it might +safely be, his arms were stretched out to their extremity, and his mouth +was straining open, as if to split his cheeks. Dr. Quink was yawning. + +His method of quick relaxation was that of the blank mind; he was at +this very moment forcibly evicting all vestiges of thought from his +head; he was concentrating intently on black, on depth, on absolute +silence. He was able to maintain this discipline for perhaps a second, +or a second and a half at most, and then his mind began, imperceptibly +at the first, to slip off along a path of its own liking, leading Dr. +Quink quietly and unprotestingly along. The path is narrow, crinkly, +bending back upon itself. It is not a path for vehicles, but one worn by +a single pair of boots, plodding patiently, slowly, wearily. The path +runs, or creeps, through a wild and desolate district where hardly more +than a single blade of grass shoots up at random from the bottomless +drift-sand. Instead of the garden that normally embellishes a castle +(there is in the vague distance a blurred castle), the fortified walls +are approached on the landward side by a scant forest of firs, on the +other by the snow-swept Baltic Sea. Spanish moss hangs limply from the +evergrays, disdainful of the sun and of its reflection by sea; the +scene is somber and restful, serene, and flat. + +The buzzer rang once, twice. + +Dr. Quink brought his feet down to their more dignified position, out of +sight beneath his desk. His conscious once more took hold of his mind, +only vaguely aware that it had not been able to achieve the incognito +serenity it sought. He put on his glasses and the heavy wooden door +opened and a man walked through. + + * * * * * + +He carried his hat in both hands, he was nervous, he was out of his +element. He looked to both sides as he came past the doorway, and when +Margaret closed the door behind him he jumped, though nearly +imperceptibly, and advanced toward the desk. "I'm not sure at all I +should have come here," he said. + +Dr. Quink nodded, but said nothing. He judged the man to be on the order +of thirty or thirty-one. His hair was black, curly, and sparse; perhaps +balding, perhaps not. + +"You see, I can't be quite candid with you. Nothing personal, of course. +It just ... Oh, this is frightfully embarrassing," he said, taking a +seat before the desk at Dr. Quink's waved invitation. "I just thought +that perhaps, even without knowing all the details, you might be able to +effect merely a _tempo_rary cure. So that I can get her back home, to +our _own_ doctors. Nothing personal, of course. I do hope I don't offend +you." + +"Not at all, I assure you," Dr. Quink assured him. "Just whom did you +mean by her?" + +"Why, my wife." He looked at Quink quizzically for a moment, then with +sudden fresh embarrassment. "Oh, of course. You naturally assume that it +was _I_ who is ... um, in need of treatment. No, no, you couldn't be +more wrong. No, it is my wife. Yes, I've come to see you on her account. +You see, of course, she wouldn't come herself. Ah, this is rather +awkward, I'm afraid." + +"Not at all," Quink answered. "If you would just tell me what your +wife's trouble is?" + +"Yes, of course. You have to know that, at least, don't you? I mean, do +you? You couldn't possibly just treat her on general principles, so to +speak, without being told of the immediate symptoms? You don't, I take +it, have any technique that would correspond to penicillin, and just +sort of clear things up in her head at random?" + +Dr. Quink assured him that it was necessary, in psychiatry at least, to +determine the disease before curing it. + +"I suppose so," the gentleman said. "Incidentally, my name is Fairfield. +Donald Fairfield. Did I mention that? But of course, you have all that +on your little card there, don't you? Yes, I thought so. I do hope your +secretary's handwriting is legible, it doesn't seem so from this angle. +By the way, did you know that she is prone to staring at the floor? A +spot right next to her desk. The right-hand side. I think I never should +have come here." + +Dr. Quink reassured him that he was free to leave at any moment, never +to return. By a longish glance at the wall clock, in fact, Dr. Quink +gave him to understand that he might do so with no hard feelings left +behind. Mr. Fairfield, however, gathered his resources and plunged +forward. + + * * * * * + +"I think you'll find this a rather interesting case, Doctor. Most +unusual. Of course, I have little notion of the variety of situations +one comes into contact with in your line of work, still I have every +reason to believe this will come as a bit of a shock. I wonder just how +dogmatic you are in your convictions?" + +Dr. Quink raised his eyebrows and made no answer; he was desperately +stifling a yawn. + +"I mean no intrusion on your religious life, by any means. Not at all. +No, that is the furthest thought from my mind, I assure you. No, I am +concerned at the moment with my wife's problems, meaning no disrespect +to yourself at all, sir. I merely asked, not out of idle curiosity, but +because ... Doctor, I suppose there's no way for it but to explain." He +gestured with his hat toward the desk calendar between him and Quink. +"This is the year 1959, correct? Well, you see, sir, the fact of the +matter is that I just wasn't _born_ in 1959." + +He stopped there, and the room relapsed into silence. + +Dr. Quink looked at him for a few moments, but no explanatory statement +was forthcoming. Dr. Quink removed his eyeglasses, opened his left +drawer two from the top, removed a white wiper, and wiped his glasses +carefully. Mr. Fairfield waited patiently. Dr. Quink replaced the +glasses. He leaned forward across the desk. + +"Mr. Fairfield," he said, "this may come as some shock to you, but _I_ +wasn't born this year either." + +"You don't understand," Mr. Fairfield wailed. "Oh, I just _knew_ I +shouldn't have come. When I say I wasn't _born_--" + +He stopped, at a loss to explain. He wrung his hat in his hands until it +was crumpled probably beyond repair. Then he jumped up, pushed it onto +his head, and quickly walked out of the office. As his back disappeared +from the doorway Margaret's head poked up in its place. She looked quite +startled. + +"It's all right, Margaret," Victor Quink said. "He was just a bit upset. +You get all kinds in here. This one claimed there's something abnormal +with his _wife_. Better leave an hour free tomorrow. He'll come back." + +But he didn't. + + * * * * * + +He didn't come back during the following three weeks, then one afternoon +Margaret ushered him through the doorway. He walked to the chair before +the desk, looking neither at the doctor nor to the right nor left, and +sat down, holding his hat in his hands. + +"My wife believes she's just," he waved his hat vaguely toward the +shielded window, "just like everybody else here." + +"And isn't she?" Doctor Quink queried, with the patience due his +profession. + +"No, she isn't. But she's forgotten. She hasn't _really_ forgotten. I +don't know your technical terminology; she refuses to remember. Oh, +_you_ know. Her subconscious, or unconscious, or whatever, is blinding +her. She won't face reality. And it's time for us to go back. But she +won't budge. She claims she's normal, and I'm the one who's crazy. In +fact, she was very happy that I was coming to see you today. I _told_ +her I was going to see you, but she persisted in insisting that I was +coming here because _I_ needed help. She said I'm coming to you because +subconsciously I know I need you. Well, enough of that. I'm here because +we have to go home, and if you could just make her face life long enough +to admit that, I'm sure that when we do get home our doctors will have +no difficulty with her case. It won't be so bizarre to them, of course, +as it must seem to you." + +"Frankly, Mr. Fairfield," Dr. Quink said, "you're not being entirely +clear in this matter. First of all, you say you have to go home. You're +not a native of New York then?" + +"A native? How quaintly you put it, Doctor. You might better say a +savage, mightn't you? But that's neither here nor there. I am, of +course, a native, as you say, of New York. I thought I explained last +time. I am simply not of this _time_." + + * * * * * + +Doctor Quink slowly shook his shaggy head. "I'm afraid the precise +meaning of your phrase escapes me, Mr. Fairfield." + +"I am not of this _time_, Doctor. Nor is my wife. We are from ... well, +from the future." + +"From very _far_ in the future?" Quink asked quietly. + +"Quite far. I'm not sure just exactly _how_ far. Systems of time +measurement have changed, you understand, between our time and this, so +that the calculations become rather involved, though, of course, only +superficially." + +"Of course. Quite understandable." + +"Quite. You _are_ being understanding about this. Much better than I had +hoped for, actually. At any rate, let's get on with it. For some obscure +reason my wife has fled reality, and now that our vacation is up she +refuses to return with me, stating flatly that she has never, to make a +long story short, traveled through time--except, of course, at the +normal velocity with which we all progress in the course of things--and +that it is I who am out of my head and though, while not actually +troublesome, it would be thoughtful of me to see a doctor or at least to +shut up about this nonsense before the neighbors hear me. Could you see +her tomorrow evening? She'd never come here, feeling as she does, but I +thought if you would come to dinner you might hypnotize her unawares +or--" + +"I don't think that's feasible under the circum--" + +"Isn't it really? I'm afraid I don't know much about this sort of thing. +I'm quite helpless in this affair, really. I assure you I was driven to +desperation to tell you all this; I mean, you must understand that +absolute silence, secrecy, that is, is our most absolute sacred rule. +Perhaps you could just slip something into her drink, knock her out, so +to speak, and I could then bodily take her back--" + +"Mr. Fairfield," Dr. Quink felt it necessary to interrupt, "you must +understand that it would not be ethical for me to do as you suggest. Now +it seems to me that the essence of your wife's peculiarity lies in her +relationship with you, her husband. So if you don't mind, perhaps we +might talk about you for a while. It might be more comfortable for you +on the couch. Please, it doesn't obligate you in any way. Yes, that's +much better, isn't it. And I'll sit here, if I may. Now, then, go on, +just tell me all about yourself. Go on just start talking. You'll find +it'll come by itself after you get started." + + * * * * * + +"I suppose I asked for this. I mean, coming here as I did. I don't know +what else I could have done, though. They prepare one for every +emergency, as well, of course, as one can foresee the future, which is +in this case actually the past, speaking chronologically. Your +chronology, that is, not ours. I'm sure you follow me, though it seems +to me I'm talking in circles. Are we accomplishing very much, do you +think?" + +"We mustn't be impatient," Dr. Quink said. "These things come slowly, +they take time, if you'll pardon the expression. But of course, it's +impudent of _me_ to lecture _you_ on temporal effects." + +"Not at all, not at all, I assure you. I am no expert on the time +continuum, no expert in the slightest. I daresay I don't understand the +most basic principles behind it, just as you aren't required to +understand electromagnetic theory in order to flick on the electric +light. In fact, I believe it wasn't even necessary for Edison to +understand it in order to invent the damned thing." + +"You know about Edison then?" + +"Oh, certainly. I've studied up quite a bit on this section of our +history." + +"You're sure," Dr. Quink went on, "that you simply didn't learn about +Edison in grammar school?" + +"Quite. Oh, yes, quite. No offense meant, sir, but you must certainly +realize that between my time and this there have been a great many +discoveries in the manifold fields embraced by science, so that people +who in your own time were famous to schoolchildren are now, then, that +is,--oh, I hope you know what I mean--known only to scholars of the +period involved. In the time to which I belong the schoolchildren may +know of Newton, Einstein and Fisher, but of such lesser luminaries as +Edison, or even Avogadro or Galdeen, they are quite ignorant." + +"Galdeen?" + +"Yes, Galdeen. Surely you know of Galdeen. Perhaps I'm mispronouncing +it. Oh, damn. I'm actually rather proud of my knowledge of your +histories, I hate to be tripped up on something like this. Galineed, +perhaps?" + +"Well, it's not worth bothering about." + +"Damned annoying, just the same. It's on the tip of my tongue. Galeel?" + +"Would you mind very much if we went on to some other subject? I don't +think we're gaining much right here." + + * * * * * + +"You're the doctor, you know," Fairfield replied. "I was just explaining +how I knew about Edison, though I never attended grammar school in this +century. So, then, where were we? You asked me to tell you about myself, +didn't you? You know, I'd much rather you told me about yourself." +Fairfield suddenly sat upright on the couch, drew his legs up to his +chest, crossed his ankles, and hugged his knees. "I was noticing that +picture you have hanging on the wall," he said. "The sea, la mer, das +Weltmeer, te misralub, et cetera. The roaring, crashing waves, the +bubbling, foaming spray. The deep dank mystery of the green wet sea. +Marvelous, marvelous. Do you indulge in sex? I mean you, personally, of +course, not as a representative of your species." + +Victor Quink laid down his pad in his lap. "I'm not married, Mr. +Fairfield," he said. "Do you often ask such questions of people you've +recently met?" + +"The sun came up this morning, Dr. Quink," Fairfield answered jovially, +"the sun came up. You'll pardon my answer, of course, I was merely +trying to top your own non sequitur. Many of your people do indulge, +you know. In fact, it would seem, from my own necessarily limited +observations, that it is more universal in its appeal than any of your +other sports. Do you classify it as a sport? It's amazing, really, how +these simple connections escape one until one tries to formulate one's +recollections into a consistent line of reasoning. Have you ever +noticed? Of course, though, you do it for procreation, don't you? _Now_ +I mean you as a representative of your species, naturally. Seeing as you +are not married, eh, doctor," and he winked at Quink. "It seems to me, +however, and again I insist that I am no expert in the field, however +it does seem to me that this matter of procreation is in many cases +just an excuse; there seems to be an inherent taste for mating per se, +or wouldn't you agree?" + +"You seem to take a disinterested view of the whole business, Mr. +Fairfield. Do _you_, ah, indulge?" + +"Oh, no. No, no, no, no, no. I couldn't, thank you just the same. I'm +really flattered, believe me I am, but thank you, no." + +"That was _not_ an invitation, Mr. Fairfield," Dr. Quink put in, "I was +trying to--" + +"Galui?" + +"Mr. Fairfield, I was trying to ascertain whether or not you lead an +active sex life, or whether your interest is purely, shall we say, +metaphysical?" + +"Yes, let's do say metaphysical. Rather clever of you, applying the term +to sex that way. My estimation of your capabilities shoots up a notch or +two, Dr. Quink." + +"You mean to say," Dr. Quink kept up, "that you do not participate in +the physical ramifications?" + +"Oh, you _do_ have a turn for words, Doctor. No, of course not. None of +us do." + +"By _us_ you mean your cohorts in the future?" + +"Exactly. You have an analytical mind, keen, keen. We do not die, we do +not give birth. And I never would have brought the whole morbid subject +up except that it has a direct bearing on Mimi's trouble. So it is +necessary that you realize that sex is entirely foreign to us." + +"Then," said Dr. Quink, "if what you say is true, your physical, let us +say, equipment, must have degenerated. And so a simple physical +examination--" + +"Evolution is slow, my doctor, slow, slow, slow. No, I'm physically +indistinguishable from you. Assuming normalcy on your part, of course. +To continue along this train of thought, though, it is the mental +process that provides the difference. There is no desire in me or mine, +Doctor, no urge, no depravity, no sexual hunger. It simply died out over +the eons." + +"Since it was no longer necessary," Quink prodded him. + +"Or vice versa. With the urge dying, it might have been necessary for us +to circumvent the entire business. An academic question, really. The +chicken or the egg all over again. But since we have conquered time, so +to speak, it must have occurred to you that there is no need for us to +die, and thus no need for birth." + +"You are immortal, then," Dr. Quink said, scribbling in his note pad. + +Mr. Fairfield shrugged. "It beats sex. Which brings us to the problem we +are discussing, if we can forget myself for a few moments. Mimi seems to +have been awakened to the sexual urge, and that provides an embarrassing +situation. Of course, its real significance is in relation to her +problem as a whole, in the illumination it sheds upon her neurosis, yet +in itself it is, as I say, embarrassing. Coupled with my complete +indifference, I mean. Have you any plans for this evening? Perhaps you +could dine with us without delay?" + + * * * * * + +Dr. Quink would not ordinarily have accepted such an invitation, being +of that class of physician which believes a disease, be it physical or +mental, best treated in the antiseptic confines of the office or +hospital. Mr. Fairfield, however, struck him as being the altogether +unprepossessing possessor of an altogether distinguished psychosis. He +was, in fact, rapidly supplanting in Dr. Quink's estimation his previous +favorite. Already Dr. Quink was writing, mentally of course, the +introduction to the paper he would present to his professional journal. + +Throughout the automobile ride out to Long Island Donald Fairfield was +quiet as, both hands tightly on the steering wheel of his new Buick, he +alternately fought and coasted with the east-bound traffic. Dr. Quink +forced himself to relax, to ignore the ins and outs of the commuters' +raceway. He folded his arms across his chest, slumped down in his seat +with his legs stretched out as far as they would reach, and observed the +facial contortions of his driver-patient. + +Fairfield's lips would twitch as he twisted the wheel and shot into the +left lane. His foot pressed down on the gas and the right corner of his +lip pulled back in sneering response, the sudden surge of the Buick +seemed intimately linked to one muscular act no more than to the other. +His eyebrows pressed intensely together, caressing one another, as the +big car whipped back into line. A sharp outlet of breath between tightly +clenched teeth preceded the sharper blast of the horn and then the Buick +was swerving out to the left again with the accompanying lip twitch. A +car they were about to pass pulled out in front of them, initiating a +spasmodic clutching of the wheel by the left hand, a furious pounding on +the horn by the right, and a synchronized twitch, sneer, and muttered +"goddam it" from the lips, repeated twice while the eyebrows maintained +their position of togetherness. + +Dr. Quink closed his eyes finally. There was nothing more to be gained +at the moment from observation. The patient's responses while driving +were normal. + + * * * * * + +Mrs. Fairfield greeted them at the door with a martini pitcher in one +hand and a modernistically designed apron around her waist. She uttered +little squeals about them being early and ushered them into the living +room where she settled Dr. Quink on one end of an eight-foot powder blue +divan before she left the room with the martini pitcher still clutched +tightly in the one hand, the other rapidly undoing the apron of +modernistic design. Donald Fairfield had not said one word since the +front door had opened in response to their ring; none had seemed to have +been necessary nor, in fact, possible, under the deluge of Mrs. +Fairfield's effusive greeting. Now he sat in the tilted green armchair +in one corner of the room and, closing his eyes, relaxed from the strain +of the drive. + +"Your wife is very pretty," Dr. Quink said. + +"Yes, she's probably the most beautiful woman I know," Fairfield said. +"That's probably why I took her along. There's something about a +beautiful woman.... It was certainly a mistake." + +"Feminine beauty is enjoyable even though you don't indulge in sex?" + +"Of course, it is," he replied, with a gesture of annoyance. "You're +still bound by that Freed--Freud, is it?--of yours. Damn him. That's +really the main reason I hesitated so long before I brought her case to +you. I was afraid you were going to place too much emphasis on the +sexual aspects which, of course, by your standards are abnormal. It has +really nothing to do with the problem, and I wish you'd forget about it, +but I suppose you can't. To you, her sexual instincts will be normal and +it will be _mine_ which will appear abnormal, whereas in reality, of +course, it's the other way around. You'll never cure her, I can see that +now. But then, you don't have to really _cure_ her. If you can just get +her to admit the truth for just a moment or two, just temporarily, I can +get her back to some really competent men. No reflection on your ability +meant, you know. I realize you're the best available in this age, +naturally." + +"Naturally." + +"But you can't know that, can you? Well, take my word for it, you are. +So suppose you start acting like it and get to work on her, eh? Could it +be Gilui? No." + +Dr. Quink bent over and tied his shoelace once or twice before he +replied. He would have to talk to Mrs. Fairfield in private, of course, +Mr. Fairfield could understand that, of course, it was not that Dr. +Quink did not want Mr. Fairfield around when the discussion took place +but simply that one could not achieve rapport without absolute +confidence and, of course, privacy. + +"Of course," Mr. Fairfield agreed. "I'll go up and shower now, perhaps +I'll take a bit of a nap before dinner. I'd like to avoid that horrible +liquid she was stirring up when we came in anyhow. Somewhere she's +picked up the idea that one should offer those things to dinner guests, +and I can't stand them. Will you want a pen and some notepaper?" + +When he had left the room to tread up the stairs one at a time, leaning +heavily on the cast-iron bannister but making no sound on the +wall-to-wall carpeting, Dr. Quink leaned back and had barely time to +pass his hand wearily over his eyes in a circular motion that he found +soothing when Mrs. Fairfield entered from behind a swinging door bearing +a small circular tray on which were balanced the aforementioned martini +pitcher and two high-stemmed glasses, properly frosted and rounded with +lemon. + +"Has he left already?" she asked. "Well, shall we get right down to +business? You call me Mimi and I'll call you Victor. What did you think +of his story? Pretty wild, isn't it? But he's harmless, I'm sure. I'm +not in the least bit afraid of him. Do you think I should be?" + + * * * * * + +Victor smiled and accepted the proffered martini. He cradled it in long +fingers and, elbows on knees, contemplated his hostess, analyzing her +physical attraction. He finally decided it emanated in the main from her +almond-shaped eyes and in their somewhat mystical synchronization with +her wide, sensual lips. There was definitely a disconcerting +correlation between them when she smiled, and as he was studying this +phenomenon he realized that of course she _was_ smiling. + +"I'm sorry," he said. "It was rude of me to stare." + +"Don't be silly," she said. "It was most complimentary. But I suppose in +your position it's best to be extremely careful." + +"My position?" + +"Flirting with your patient's wife." + + * * * * * + +He put down the martini rather too quickly, sploshing a bit over the +edges of the glass, leaving colorless stains that evaporated in a few +moments. "I don't want you to think _that_, Mrs. Fairfield," he said. +"It's just that ... that ..." + +But she didn't interrupt him to say, "Of course not," or "I was just +teasing," or "Isn't it amazing how little rain we've had lately. Did you +realize that this is the driest November in sixteen and a half years?" +She just stared and smiled at him, and let him flounder and make noises +until he gave it up as a bad job and took a long drink from the frosted +glass he had so recently and abruptly put down. She refilled his glass +and leaned back in her chair. + +"Could you tell me about him, Mrs. Fairfield?" he said then. "Start as +far back as you can, please." + +"All right, Victor," she said. "But it won't be much help, I'm afraid. +Did he tell you he came from the future?" + +"He said that both of you did." + +"Yes, that's right. Both of us. And I refuse to go back, is that it?" + +"Because of some deep-seated neurosis which he wants me to cure. His +story is plausible, logical, once you grant the basic premise that time +travel is an actuality. You see, Mrs. Fairfield--" + +"Mimi, please, Victor. After all, we're not in your office, and I'm not +really your patient, am I? Or am I?" + +"Of course not. Well, Mimi, then, the first step is to break down his +story. Show him for once and all that it is _not_ plausible, that it is +not even possible, that it is plainly and simply a lie which he himself +has made up to hide something that he is afraid of. Once we can get him +to see this, or at least to wonder about it, once we can break the +granite assurance of his that he comes from another time, then perhaps +we can probe into his festering secret. But we can't do that, I'm +afraid, until he begins to admit, at least to himself, that he _is_ sick +and that he needs help. In this case it shouldn't be too hard." + +"My, you _are_ brilliant. I wonder how you do it. Oh, you shouldn't gulp +a martini so quickly. Here, let me pour you some more, but sip it this +time. I know, I can't stand the taste either, but it's really the only +way." + +"Mrs. Fairfield--" + +"Mimi," she insisted. + +"Mimi," he said, then hesitated. + +"Mimi," she prompted. + +"I forgot what I was going to say," he admitted. "Cheers." + +"Don't gulp," she said. "Here, I'll pour you another one, but sip it, +now promise." + +"God, it does taste awful, doesn't it?" he said, grimacing. "I don't +think I ever _tasted_ one before. Do you think limes might help?" + +"We have some in the kitchen, but it doesn't sound like a good idea to +me. Why don't we just throw the mess away and whip up something else? I +just wanted you to think I was chic this season to serve mar_tin_is." + +"What season? Football?" + +"Hunting," she said, and the eyes and lips smiled together again. + +"Mimi," Victor said a bit pompously, standing up and leaning over her, +"I hope you are not flirting with me. You are, remember, a married woman +and are, in fact, married to a patient of mine." + +"First of all," she said, "you're being pompous. Second of all, he's not +your patient, he says I'm your patient. Third of all, I'm not married to +him. And fourth, of all ... is it fourth or fifth ... well anyway, +fourth or fifth of all, let's try the limes. We've nothing to lose, it +couldn't taste worse." + + * * * * * + +"First of all," he said, following her to the kitchen, "I am never +pompous. Second of all, he _is_ my patient because he came to my office +obviously seeking psychiatric help but too sick to ask for it. I feel it +only my duty to help him and besides, his case is fascinating." + +"And his wife isn't, I suppose," she said over her shoulder. + +"Third of all," he said, "and I ignore the interruption, what the hell +do you mean you're not married to him? And fourth of all, it is fourth, +not fifth, I think the limes will help immeasurably." + +"Well, I think it all comes back to your original question. You know, +about telling you all about him, and how it started, and all that. You +see, I can't, because I don't remember. Here, you cut the limes while I +look for the squeezer." + + * * * * * + +While Dr. Quink was cutting the limes he didn't exactly talk to himself, +but thoughts did present themselves to his mind with very nearly verbal +exactitude. The immediate progression towards a solution of this case +did not seem to be so clearly cut out as he had assumed it would be. +There were, it now became more and more obvious, complications he had +not foreseen. Mrs. Fairfield was not exactly acting toward him as a +psychiatrist normally expects the wife of a patient to, so that, +although he found her pleasant and indeed invigorating, if that is the +word and he was not sure that it was but the only alternative that came +to his mind, stimulating, had connotations that he was not yet ready to +accept, although he did find her pleasant and et cetera yet he found her +behavior also disturbing, in the clinical sense this time, and the +revelation as to her distinctly limited memory should be described not +as a disturbance but as a downright earthquake, to ring in a +seismological metaphor that occurred to him as he nicked his finger +during the slicing of the fourth lime. + +"Oh, did you cut yourself?" she said, straightening up from the lower +shelves of a pine cupboard. "I'm so sorry, but never mind. Here's the +squeezer." + +The apparent non sequitur, coming in the midst of his thoughts that were +already confused, bewildered him for the moment, but he felt it would be +more fruitful to get back to the problem at hand and, blotting his +seeping blood with a handkerchief, he inquired after her reticent +memory. + +"Oh, let's mix in the lime juice first. Aren't you at all anxious to see +how it will taste? Honestly, men have no curiosity." + +Well, as it turned out, it tasted pretty good. At any rate, that was the +consensus of opinion, alcoholic as it might have been, as they returned +with the pitcher of green martinis to the living room. "The furthest +back that I can remember," Mimi said after they had settled themselves +on the divan, "the absolutely first thing I can remember is relieving my +bladder, if that makes any sense to you." + +"As a matter of fact," Victor said, "it makes extremely good sense +indeed. If you will pardon me and kindly direct me towards the wash +room?" + + * * * * * + +When he returned after an absence of a few minutes, during which time +the muted sound of snoring emanated from the master bedroom into the +silence left by his absence, he attempted once again to take up the +thread of conversation that had been so abruptly snapped. "You were +telling me, I believe, about the first thing you can remember." + +"Yes," she said. "Have another martini. Here, I'll pour. I was on a +train, you see, at this moment when my memory begins. It was, by the +way, eight months ago. As I emerged from the ladies' room I could not +remember from which direction I had come. That is, I didn't know in +which direction my seat was, if you follow me." + +Victor nodded more vigorously than he had intended, and she went on. "I +didn't know whether to turn to right or left. That's a frightening +feeling to have in a train, not knowing where your seat is, when you're +all closed in anyhow and you can feel the floor beneath your feet and +the walls and ceiling all rushing somewhere so terribly fast and +carrying you with it and all. I wasn't really _frightened_, you +understand, but anyway, as I say, it's a terrible feeling. So I leaned +back against the wall and tried to collect my wits. But I couldn't think +of anything. That really frightened me. So I said to myself, now just +relax and think back to where you're going and when you got on the train +and who you're with and everything like that and just relax and you'll +remember where your seat is in half a moment. But I didn't. Remember, I +mean. And suddenly I realized that I didn't remember where I was going +or who I was with or when I had got on the train or anything, anything +at all. I simply couldn't remember anything previous to a moment ago. I +was scared silly by this time, and that damned train kept on rumbling +and shaking and rushing on into I didn't know what. So I said to myself, +now just relax and keep calm. This is all very silly. Now, then, I said +after taking two deep breaths and exhaling slowly, my name is ... my +name is ... And by God, I didn't know my own name! It was such a queer +feeling I got goose pimples all over, just like that. I mean, I felt as +if I knew my name, it was on the tip of my tongue, but I just couldn't +say it, I just couldn't remember my own name. + +"Then I began to run. I didn't know where I was going but I was scared +to hell and I just ran. I ran through five or six cars and the panic +kept getting worse, and then I turned around and began running back the +way I had come, just running as fast as I could and you know what that's +like on a train, I kept falling against people and pushing them off and +running and suddenly this man grabbed me and said, 'Mimi, Mimi,' he kept +saying that and I guess some more and finally he calmed me down and, of +course, it was Donald. He told me I was all right and to be quiet and +what the hell was the matter with me anyhow. Well, to make a long story +short, we got off the train here and stayed in a hotel for a while and +then Donald bought this place and here we are. But I don't know if I'm +really his wife or not. Did he mention sex to you?" + +Victor nodded and she said, "So you know I'm not his wife _that_ way, at +least. And I have only his word that we were ever married." + +"You don't have a marriage certificate, or pictures?" + +"We don't have anything that would prove our existence prior to that +date we were on the train. Naturally, he'd have left all that behind +when we left wherever we were coming from. Any documents at all would +ruin his story. For all I know he just picked me up at the train +station." + +"And you just picked up life here?" Victor asked. "As simple as that!" + +"What else could I do? I was terribly frightened, and Donald was so calm +and assuring. I didn't really think I had lost my memory, you know. I +mean, I _couldn't_ believe it. I didn't seem bewildered or anything, I +just could not remember anything. Am I making sense? Anyway, I felt it +would all come back to me any moment, and I went on living from one +moment to another, and here I am and I still can't remember anything." + + * * * * * + +"What was Donald's reaction when you told him you didn't know who you +were?" Victor asked her. + +"As a matter of fact, I didn't tell him right away. I was so afraid, I +just went along with him.... Oh, it's so hard to explain." + +"He didn't realize that you were acting strange, bewildered?" + +"Well, you know," Mimi said, "we're not talking about a normal man, +remember. I suppose if I acted sort of, you know, lost, he attributed it +to our recent trip through time. _I_ don't know. Anyhow, he seemed to +accept me." + +"Let's get back to this time-travel bit. When did you realize that he +thought you had both come from another time?" + +"The limes really make the drink, don't they?" she asked. "Well, it came +out sort of gradually. I'd listen to him really closely whenever he +talked about the past, naturally. I was trying to find out about me +without telling him, I thought he'd get all excited and all, and of +course he did when I finally told him but by then it was all so +different and I'm afraid I've gotten confused. Where was I? Oh, you need +a refill." + +"Thank you," Victor said, "I forget myself exactly where it was you +were. Is that right? Where you was it were? No, I'm sure _that's_ wrong. +Where were you it was, I think. Does that sound better to you?" + +"Isn't that peculiar?" she answered. "Could it be where I was you +weren't? No, now I'm being silly, and I can't for the life of me +understand why. After all, this is a serious affair. Or at least I wish +it were. Was." + +"What?" + +"I remember, damn it," she said. "We were talking about _Don_ald again. +Well, he kept making these remarks about coming through time and of +course I didn't understand what the hell he was talking about but I +thought because of my not remembering anything and all that I better +just not say anything so I didn't, but he kept on and little by little I +got the idea, the general idea anyhow, but what on earth could I do +about it? And then he started talking about it was time to go back and +all that, and I _cer_tainly wasn't going to go floating off in any old +_time_ machine whether he was nuts or not, so I just kept putting +him off the best I could but he started getting so impatient that +finally--what was that? I think there's something wrong." + + * * * * * + +They both sat suddenly quite still and listened, but they heard nothing. + +"I hear nothing," Victor said. + +"That's it," Mimi hissed. "He's not snoring anymore. He'll be here any +minute. Act natural. Have another martini." + +"Thank you, perhaps just one more," Victor said as Donald Fairfield came +into the room. + + * * * * * + +He strode across the room crossing in front of them without turning his +head or acknowledging their presence and made straight for the buffet in +the opposite corner. He bent over and extracted a thick black cigar, +struck a match, lit the cigar, puffed several times, dropped the match +into a gigantic ashtray made of marble, or something that looked like +marble, puffed several more times, finally inhaled deeply and exhaled +slowly before he turned and nodded at his two spectators. "You make +better cigars than we do, I'll say that for the twentieth century," he +complimented Victor in the manner of all tourists, as if Victor himself +were the cause and not the product of his age. "One of the mysteries of +history," he continued, "how a simple technique, like making a good +cigar or a good mummy, can be lost once it's been perfected. Always +seems to be though. Each age has its secrets. You can't make wine now +like the ancient Greeks did." + +"As," Mimi interpolated. "As the Greeks did." + +"I hate to be bombastic," Donald answered her, "not to say dogmatic or +pedagogical, or impecunious too, for that matter, at least in this +particular day and age, but I believe my original adjectival usage to be +the correct one." + +"If your thought had called for an adjective," Mimi countered, "but +properly, according to the accepted grammar of the present day, that is, +you should have used an adverb." + +"Whatchamacallit tastes good _like_ a dum-dum cigarette should," Victor +put in, in an attempt to settle the subject. + +"That's ridiculous," Donald answered, "it's completely wrong." + +"I _know_ it's wrong," Victor cried, "that's the point, _every_body +knows it's--" + +"Of course it is," Mimi agreed. "Why on earth _should_ a cigarette taste +good? Who says it should? If one wants to taste something good, why then +one takes a bite of cake, or a smidgin of candy, or a plate of cold +borscht. If one cares for borscht. But you certainly don't smoke a +cigarette to taste something good, they all taste horrible. Horribly? Oh +damn, look what you started, Donald. Now I can't think straight. +Anyhow, people smoke because of the phallic symbolism, right, Victor?" + +Donald looked with distaste from Mimi to the big black cigar he was +holding in his right hand, and thence to Victor for a denial. Victor, +however, shrugged his shoulders, and murmured something to the effect +that this consideration might possibly have some bearing on the subject, +that it was really a matter of interest more to the applied +psychologists and advertising men than to the pure scientist or doctor, +and that even so it didn't necessarily follow that-- + +"You're hedging," Mimi said. "All you have to do is watch a woman smoke +and then watch a man and--" + +"I thought we were talking about wine," Donald interrupted, crushing out +his cigar in the oversize marble, or nearly so, ashtray. "What were we +saying about it?" + +"You were commenting on the relative excellence of our wines and those +of the Greeks," Victor told him. "I was wondering if perhaps you've +visited them too?" + +Donald Fairfield did not answer the query. He stared at Victor +contemplatively, drew in a deep lungful of acrid smoke-filled air from +above the smoldering ashtray, and let it out again. "This is not going +to be as simple an affair as it should be," he said finally. "I can see +that now, but I suppose there's nothing to be done but to see it +through. I take it you've settled everything between the two of you +while I've been gone?" + +"Oh my," Mimi ejaculated, "I've got to see about dinner. See if you two +can find something to talk about while I'm gone." She hurried out of the +room, one hand already reaching for the apron of the modernistic design +as she passed through the swinging door into the kitchen. + + * * * * * + +"Well," Donald began, "what did you discover from my little wife?" + +"To begin with," Victor answered him, "she seems to have lost her +memory. Everything previous to an experience on the train some eight +months ago is a total blank. Were you aware of this?" + +"I was not only aware of it, I told you about it," Donald answered. +"What in God's creation is this moldy brew?" he asked after taking a +deep gulp from the lip of the pitcher and spitting most of it into the +first ashtray he could reach. + +"Lime martinis, like a daiquiri, only dryer. If you don't care for them +you might refill my glass. That's right, you did tell me she didn't +remember, but of course--" + +"You didn't believe me," Donald finished for him. "Naturally. Look, Dr. +Quink, I think I'm a reasonable man. Damn it, I _know_ I am. I don't +expect you to believe me right off the rat when I walk in and tell +you--" + +"Bat," Victor interrupted. + +"I beg your pardon," Donald countered. + +"Bat. Right off the. Not rat, right off the bat. It's a colloquialism, +comes from baseball, that's a sport we play. Perhaps you haven't come +across it, if you've only been here some eight months?" + +"Yes, just about eight months. I've heard of the sport, of course, but +haven't gone to see a game yet. Do you think it's worth my while?" + +"Probably not. Strictly a partisan sport." + +"Yes, I see your point. Not an idiom, you wouldn't say?" + +"No, definitely not," Victor said. "Takes time to make an idiom, but +only God can make a tree. O Lord, I better have another martini. Would +you pour, I think I might miss. Still, a colloquialism, not a doubt +about it. The expression hasn't lasted to your day, I take it? If it +had, then it might be an idiom. Might, I say, only might. I promise +nothing." + +"And quite right you are," Donald said. "Still, I want you to understand +that I don't expect you to believe me right off the bat when I wander +into your busy little office and tell you--by the way, what is your +receptionist doing always staring at the floor right next to her desk?" + +"She's in love. He's an advertising man." + +"Oh, well yes, of course. When I tell you I come from the future. +Obviously you're not going to accept that right off the rat, as I say. I +mean, no one could expect you to. However, after talking at length to me +in your office and then holding a private conversation with my wife, you +should, I think, as a trained and highly competent psychiatrist, +certainly the foremost of your day--" + + * * * * * + +At this point Victor had waved a deprecating hand. + +"Please allow me to say that I am certainly a better judge of your +position in this world than you could possibly be. Seeing it in the +proper perspective, I mean. I did not intend to compliment you when I +described you as I just did, I merely state a fact already known to my +confreres. Then you should, as I say, under these most favorable +circumstances, and certainly being forewarned, then you should be able +to tell who is suffering from a delusion and who is not. Apart from what +the delusion is, and whether or not you choose to believe in it, simply +studying the behavior of the people involved, you should be able to tell +who is acting normally and who is not." + +"I agree with you in every particular," Victor said. "I certainly +should. And I think I can, and have. In point of fact--" + +"Dinner is ready," Mimi said. "And no shop talk, please. I want you to +taste my squash and applesauce piece. And no one, absolutely _no_ one, +comes into my dining room with a stinking black cigar." + +"Could it be Galilililu?" Donald murmured. "Damn." + + * * * * * + +"This is excellent," Victor said. "How do you make it?" + +"Why, thank you," Mimi replied. "It's very simple. You just take the +squash and then pour in the applesauce and cinnamon." + +"There must be more to it than that," Victor insisted, smiling around a +mouthful. + +"Of course there is," she said. "But I'm not telling you all my secrets. +You'll have to come back if you want it again." + +"Damn it," said Donald, "stop jibber-jabbering! We know why we're here, +so let's talk about it. Can you cure my crazy wife?" + +"Donald!" Mimi spluttered. + +"Now, Mr. Fairfield," Victor said, "let's not be unfair. Your wife has +amnesia, but she's not crazy. As a matter of fact, psychiatrists no +longer recognize the term as such--" + +"Pass the roast," Donald said. "Do you think _I'm_ crazy or don't you?" + +"I most certainly do not!" + +"Do you think I was born in the future?" + +"Mr. Fairfield, talking like this isn't getting us anywhere. Now +Mimi--I'm sorry, Mrs. Fairfield--doesn't remember anything previous to +that train ride we were talking about...." + +"Naturally," Donald said. "That's when we got here. We'll skip the +technicalities, but it's always easier to land on something that's +moving. Standard procedure. I don't really understand it myself, but I'm +no engineer. We landed in the twentieth century--is it the twentieth or +the twenty-first?" + +"The twentieth," Victor assured him. + +"Isn't that silly of me. I'm always getting mixed up. It doesn't make +much difference, though, you know. Not much of a change from one to the +other. Not like the nineteenth and twentieth, nothing like that at all. +Do you ever find yourself wondering if it's the twentieth of the month +or the twenty-first?" + +"I have a calendar on my desk." + +"Oh," Donald mused. "I didn't notice it." He stared intently at Victor +Quink while he munched his celery. "It's not hard to see why you've +risen to the top of your profession. Calendar on your desk, eh?" He +looked at his wife and tapped the side of his head significantly. + + * * * * * + +"You landed aboard this train some eight months ago," Dr. Quink +prompted. "What are you doing here, anyhow? Are you an historian?" + +"Nonsense," he replied at once. "Haven't you noticed all the books you +people are writing? Every one of your presidents, every general, every +field-marshal, every scientist, manufacturer, tennis star, and juvenile +delinquent has written a book, or at least a serial for the _Post_. No +reason at all for any historian to come back to this particular age. No +other age in all history, I might add, has been so fond of itself or so +cognizant of the need for preserving itself and its records for +posterity as has yours. And with very little reason. But of course that +last is only a personal observation, and I may be prejudiced, having +lived here, so to speak, for these past months. You get to see the seamy +side of a civilization, you know, when you live there yourself. +Incidentally, would you be interested to know how your age has been +classified by posterity? Of course you would, silly of me to ask. Well, +to get on with it, you know how historians are always _naming_ periods, +and groups, and whatever. The Age of Darkness, you remember, then the +Age of Awakening, the Age of Enlightenment, the Age of Reason, et +cetera? As it turns out, you've come down to us as the Age of Verbiage. +Amusing, eh? No? Well, you can't please everybody. I thought it was +cute. But in answer to your question I'll have to say no, I'm just a +tourist. I'm on vacation. Nothing more sensational than that, I'm +afraid." + +"And naturally you took your wife with you," Victor added. + + * * * * * + +Donald looked down at his plate for just a moment or two, then answered +"naturally," without raising his eyes at all. + +"Somehow, Mr. Fairfield," Victor said, "somehow I get the feeling you're +holding out on me, you're not telling me all." + +"Damn it, the more I tell you the less you believe. I never should have +told you the truth at all. I should have just said my wife's suffering +from amnesia and let it go at that." + +"I'm not an engineer either," Victor answered. "I can't just twist a +screw and restore the proper functioning of the memory mechanism. I've +got to know the whole truth, Mr. Fairfield, the whole truth." + +"How come my wife is Mimi and I'm Mr. Fairfield?" + +"I'm sorry," Victor stammered, "I--" + +"Donald, you're embarrassing him," Mimi interrupted. + +"Just joshing, pulling your toe, or leg, or some such," Donald assured +him. "We might as well be friends, at least. Make it Donald too. I might +even take your autograph back with me. I think the fights are on +television. Want to watch?" + +"I'll just do up the dishes, dear," Mimi said. + +"I'm afraid I don't care much for the prize fights," Victor said. + +"Just sit where you are then, and relax. I'm going to watch them. Won't +see many more of them before we go," he said, throwing a lowering glance +at his wife as he left the room. He returned in a few moments, however, +before the two of them had had time to begin a conversation, and +addressed Victor, "Sorry to interfere, promise I won't interrupt again. +I'm sure you two are making just miles of progress and I dislike the +role of an impedance, but a phrase just popped into my head and I'm sure +I won't be able to concentrate on the fights properly until it's +resolved. I wonder, Dr. Quink, if you could possibly tell me if this is +the age that is so fond of saying that idiots walk with God? You know +what I mean, that they don't need their wit because God's hand is on +their shoulder, so to speak, and that's why et cetera? Childish, +perhaps, but touching, don't you think?" + +"I'm sorry, Mr. Fairfield," Victor replied, "but I hadn't heard the +phrase before. Perhaps I'm just unfamiliar with it, or more probably you +picked it up elsewhere on your travels." + +"Mmmm," Donald answered, somewhat noncommittally, "perhaps. Well, don't +let me detain you. I'll just run along. Vaya con Dios," he waved as he +left the room. They waited a few seconds in silence, but he didn't +return. + + * * * * * + +"Will you take him on as a patient?" Mimi asked when they heard the +first roaring of the crowd from the living-room. + +"I'd like to very much, if you want me to. He's a fascinating case. But +it won't be easy, it's going to take time." + +"Oh, that's all right," she assured him. "He's not dangerous, and we've +plenty of money. Take all the time you want." + +"You know," he said, "I don't mind admitting I'm pretty bewildered by +now." He shook his head two or three times, as if to clear it, then +asked, "Where does the money come from?" + +"I don't know." + +"I mean, what does he do for a living?" + +"I don't know. Did you ask him?" + +"Not yet. He'll probably say he brought the money from the future." + +"Uh-huh," she agreed. + +"Well, don't you even know where your husband gets his money?" + +"No." + +"What a combination you two are," he muttered. + +"I can't hear you," she called from the kitchen. "The water is making +too much noise. Come in here." He went in and leaned against the powder +blue refrigerator while she soaked the dishes. "He won't come to your +office for examinations or treatments," she said. "He thinks I'm the one +who's nuts." + +"That's probably true," he agreed, somewhat ambiguously. "It would be +better if you were my patient at the same time. You do have this amnesia +anyhow, I'd like to clear that up. Would you be willing?" + +"Oh, I'd love it," she cried. "I can come see you for regular +treatments, and then you can come to the house for supper several times +a week and see him then." + +"Let's go see if he agrees to that," Victor said. Mimi dried her hands +in a hurry on a dish towel, grabbed a handful of his fingers, and pulled +him after her to the living-room. Her fingers were still cool and damp. + + * * * * * + +He saw a lot of the two of them in the few weeks following that night, +but he learned nothing more. Donald Fairfield was sulky and +uncommunicative, muttering only over and over again that he had already +said too much and Lord knew what would become of him when he got back +but he didn't see what else he could have done under the circumstances +and no one else had ever gotten into such a fix why the hell did it have +to happen to him, a quiet and thoughtful and considerate man who +wouldn't swat a fly, or anyhow not a pregnant fly. This opened up an +entire new line of discussion. Mimi didn't know, in reply to his query, +whether flies got pregnant or not. At least, she had never seen one. +Donald was forced into a short lecture, barely remembered from second +year biology, but it seemed to satisfy them. "We don't have lower forms +of life at home, you know," Donald apologized. + +On days when he didn't come to their home for supper, Mimi would have +the last appointment of the day with him, and after her hour they would +leave together, waking up Margaret before they left the office, stop off +for cocktails before Mimi had to catch her train, miss the train, have +dinner, miss the next train, catch a show or walk in the park, drive +Mimi home, and finally part. They talked a lot, they talked seemingly +without reserve, but Victor learned nothing new. Her life before that +train ride was simply a blank. + +"I'd like to try hypnotism," Victor said to her one day in his office. + +"No," she replied. + +He was surprised. "I don't think you understand," he said. "I want to +hypnotize you and try to take you back before that train ride, back to +your childhood--" + +"No," she said. + +"It's perfectly safe," he said. + +She filed a rough edge off her nail, second finger, right hand. + +"It's standard analytic procedure. I've used it dozens of times. I'm +quite competent--" + +"No," she said. + +"But why not?" he asked. + +"You'll find out all about me," she said. "I'll have no secrets left." + +"But you shouldn't want to have any secrets from your psychoanalyst. I +can't help you then." + +"Perhaps," she agreed. "But I want to have secrets from you," she said +softly, and looked up quietly from her fingers, staring directly into +his eyes, and her lips and her eyes underwent that mysterious +synchronization once again. "I don't want you to know me like a book, +with everything spelled out in black and white, but like a portrait, +with hidden shades and nuances.... I want you to know me gradually, +slowly...." + +"Mimi," he said, and paused. He pushed back from his desk, swiveled +completely around and back to his original position, cracked two +knuckles, tried to force some saliva into a suddenly dry mouth, and +started to speak again. "Mimi, it's not unusual for a patient to develop +a feeling of affection for her psychoanalyst. In fact, it's the usual--" + +"It's not like that with us, though, is it?" she asked, more quietly, +more softly and deeply, than before. + +After a long pause he said, "No. No, it's not." + +And so they sat there while the daylight faded outside them and the +twilight crawled up sixty-three floors to encircle their window and +continue unhesitatingly upward. + + * * * * * + +"What are we going to do?" she asked. + +"We're not going to do anything, Mimi," he finally said. "When I'm with +you, it's all so light and fantastic and funny, that I forget. But it +would be unforgivable to fall in love with a patient, and the wife of a +patient. I can't do it. We'll have to stop right away. I'm no good as an +analyst to you anymore, anyway. I'm sorry, I'll send you to someone +else. And now you'd better go." + +She stood up, walked around his desk, and put her hands lightly on his +neck. "You're such a dear," she said. "I'll always love you. I've never +seen you so serious before. We always laugh and talk and giggle when +we're together, and I loved you then. But now that you're sad and +serious and oh so pitiably tragic I love you more than I could ever tell +you. But please don't worry, don't worry about a thing, darling. You'll +see, it will all work out." + +"It can't work out, Mimi, there's absolutely no way on earth for it to +work out. There's no solution at all." + +"Please don't worry, darling," she said, picking up her gloves. "I can't +bear to see you looking so tragic. Life isn't so serious, especially as +you're loved." She walked out and closed the door behind her. Victor sat +quite still. He could barely hear her saying "Margaret, wake up, +Margaret, it's time to go home," through the thick wooden door. + + * * * * * + +The phone rang in his office three days later. He was alone at the time, +going over some notes he had just taken with another patient. Margaret +was out, presumably peering through the floor of the ladies' lounge down +the hall, and he picked up the receiver himself. + +"Victor, come quick," Mimi screamed through the wires. "He's trying to +kill me!" + +She said more, but he heard none of it. His fingers went numb, the phone +dropped, he was out of his seat and skidding around the desk before it +hit the carpeted floor. He had to wait at the elevator. He thought for +one silly moment of racing to the exit and running down sixty-three +floors, then compromised on stamping his feet and slamming one fist into +the other palm and striding up and down while three other men and two +women also waiting for the elevator stared at him. He thought of calling +the police just as the elevator door opened, and he nearly turned and +left it, but couldn't and leaped in just as the doors were closing. "I'm +Dr. Quink," he shouted at the elevator operator. "This is an emergency. +Take me straight down." + +The elevator went straight down. The doors opened on the ground floor +and Victor shot out, leaving behind two nearly mortally sick women and +several acid comments to the effect that he was probably late for a +matinee. "I couldn't take any chances," apologized the elevator +operator, "it might really have _been_ an emergency." + +It wasn't raining in New York that day, so he was able to get a cab +immediately. He took it to his parking lot and roared off from there. He +sped through the city traffic, incurring the widespread wrath and +disapproval of the police department. A patrol car caught up with him on +Grand Central Parkway and forced him off the road. He explained who he +was and that a madman was threatening to kill his wife, no, not _his_ +wife, the madman's wife, and that he didn't have time to sit here and +talk about it. The police officer told him to follow him, and, siren +blazing, they roared off once again. + +It occurred to both of them nearly simultaneously that Victor couldn't +possibly follow the police officer, it had to be the other way around, +and so Victor took the lead, the red siren hanging on behind. But when +Victor left the parkway he saw in his mirror no flashing red light, +somewhere he had lost the police. He touched the brake a second, for the +first time in the past fifteen minutes, then accelerated again and +hurried on. He had not the time to wait. + +The door to the Fairfield's home was unlocked and he burst in without +ringing. "Mimi," he cried, then, hearing vague noises from the upstairs +bedroom, he hurried there. + + * * * * * + +He didn't find Mimi there. Donald Fairfield was alone in the bedroom, +and the bedroom was a mess, and there was a gun in Donald Fairfield's +hand. + +Victor stopped in the doorway, a gas pain shooting up his side. He +thought at that moment, inanely, he should play more handball. + +"Galileo," Donald Fairfield said, "it came to me just a few moments ago. +Galileo. It was on the tip of my tongue all the time, I just couldn't +think of it. What were we saying about him, do you remember? What +brought it up?" + +Victor braced himself up against the doorway, breathing hard. He stared +at the gun in Donald's hand. Donald followed his gaze down his side to +the gun, and seemed surprised when he saw it. "Oh, yes. She's in the +bathroom," he said, waving his gun towards the closed door. "She's +locked the door." + +Victor belched. + +"For God's sake," said Donald. "There's a time and a place for +everything." + +Victor crossed to the door. "Mimi," he called. "Mimi, it's me, Victor." + +The lock clicked, the door opened, and Mimi walked out and folded +herself into his arms. He held her until she stopped shaking, then until +he himself stopped shaking and until his breath came more easily. He +kept all the while his back toward Donald and the gun, and his arms +folded around her so that she was safe from him. Then he turned and +calmly as he could, he asked what in the holy hell was going on. + +"He wants me to go back with him, right now," Mimi said. She was +shivering in his arms. "I'm not going, I'm not going with him." + +"Of course, you're not," Victor said. He turned back to Donald. "What's +the rush all of a sudden?" he asked. "What's the big emergency?" he +smiled. + +"Don't turn on the personality, Dr. Quink," Fairfield said. "It's too +complicated to explain, but time's run out on us. We've got to go +tonight, and I'm taking her with me dead or alive, I don't give a damn +which way anymore, she's coming with me dead or alive." + +Victor let go of Mimi and took a step toward him, but the hand with the +gun came up and gun was pointed straight at him, and the voice was flat +and tired and desperate, "I can't leave her here, you can see what it +would mean. They're very strict about time traveling, they have to be, +and she can't stay here. She hasn't lost her memory, she knows damned +well where she comes from, and she's going back now, one way or the +other. I don't know what'll happen to me when we get back if I kill her, +but it's my decision and I can't let her stay behind, no matter what." +His voice started to rise and the words began to come faster. He was +working himself up dangerously near the breaking point. + +"If you'll just calm down for a few moments," Victor tried, "I'm sure we +can talk this out sensibly enough." + +"It won't work, Dr. Quink, it won't work. You're trying to talk it out +like I'm nuts, you're trying to reassure me, but it won't work because +you can't. Because I'm _not_ nuts! I'm telling the truth and she knows +it! Damn you, Mimi, tell him!" + + * * * * * + +"All right! All right, I'll tell him," she cried. "And I'll tell you, +too. And I'm not going back with you, you'll see. Because I planned this +from the start. My God, what a day," she sighed, and sat down on the +bed. "Now listen, both of you, you, too, Donald, because you don't know +it all either." + +"He's not crazy, Victor, we do come from the future. I was reading about +all the Nobel prize winners, darling, and of course, I came across you, +and right from the beginning you fascinated me. Do you know you were the +first psychiatrist ever to win the award, and then you won it twice? +Oh, I can tell you, I was terribly impressed! And when I saw your +picture, you know the one, the portrait by Videl in the Museum of +Ancient--oh, but of course, it hasn't been done yet. You have gray +sideburns then, and there's not a touch of gray in your hair now. +Anyway, you look absolutely distinguished with gray, it's certainly your +color. And I thought you were just the handsomest Nobel winner I had +ever seen, and darling, you are, not the slightest doubt about it. Don't +you think so, Donald?" + +"He's charming," Donald replied. "Just terribly, terribly charming. +Would you mind getting on with it?" + +"Please," Victor started to interrupt. + +"Don't be modest, darling," Mimi went on. "So then I read a biography, +and then another, and soon I was doing nothing but studying you. I fell +in love with you, dear, I fell in love with you a thousand years after +you were dead. You never married, you know, and you needed me, and I +guess that helped, but at any rate I fell, and I fell all the way. + +"We're not married, Donald and I. There's no sex then, so there's no +need for marriage. Right, Donald? Right. But he was coming here on +vacation and he was nice enough to take me along, and we had to fit in, +so we came as husband and wife. Just a matter of convenience, really. +But then we were here for all those months, and I didn't get to meet +you, and something about this age just got into my bones, I loved it so, +people really _live_ now, not like back home. And I nearly forgot about +you, Victor dear, although I can't understand that now, and all I wanted +was to live here like a normal person, a normal wife. But _he_ couldn't +understand that. At any rate, I went native, I went whole hog native. + +"And then it was time to go home. But I wasn't going. So I made up this +story about forgetting everything and I pretended I thought he was nuts +or something and he went and got you and suddenly there you were in my +living room and it all came back, darling, it came back so fast and +strong I thought I'd die on the spot. And I love you now, darling, I +love you now and forever, and I won't go back alive, I swear that." + + * * * * * + +"Mimi," Donald begged, "think of the future. If you don't go back it'll +be all upset. We can't have people just popping up in the past from the +future, there has to be discipline. It's one thing to come here quietly +for a few months of harmless vacation, and then just as quietly to +disappear. But to settle down brazenly in another time, to ... to +immigrate, as it were, well, it just can't be done. There's no +precedent, just none at all. _No_body would think of doing such a thing. +Why, who knows what would happen if you stayed here? It could upset the +whole pattern of the future!" + +"The future will just have to take care of itself," Mimi answered. "I +love him, and you can't argue with that. There's nothing you can say +that can argue with that. I don't care poof for the future." + + * * * * * + +Victor sat down quietly on the edge of the bed, he felt a bit weak +around the general vicinity of the knees. Mimi stood up and strode over +to the window, her back to the conversation. "Mimi," Donald pleaded, +"just think of what you're doing. You'll lose your immortality, for one +thing. You know, it's not something you're just _born_ with, it's the +result of careful medical science. Why, almost _any_thing could happen +to you here. They have all _sorts_ of ugly diseases. And if you should +last just a few years longer, just maybe fifty or sixty more years, your +heart will almost certainly pop off. They don't have any sort of +arterial rejuvenation now, nothing at all. You're trading immortality +for a mere _moment_." + +"I don't give a damn or a wild pig's snort," she replied. + +"Don't be vulgar," Donald said. "Let's keep this on a civilized plane." + +"That's not vulgarity," she answered. "It's poetry. 'I don't give a damn +or a wild pig's snort, but you cut just one strand and the fashions be +damned, I swear that I'll boil three in lime!'" + +"Lime?" Victor asked rather weakly. + +"I think so, dear," Mimi said. "Would you care for a martini?" + +"How about the toilet!" Donald suddenly thundered. "How about _that_, +hey?" + +"I beg your pardon," Mimi replied. + +"The toilets, the toilets," he repeated impatiently. "Do you want to +spend the rest of your short life with this old-fashioned plumbing?" He +waved wildly toward the tile bathroom. "It's all right roughing it for a +few months like we did, but can you honestly imagine spending the rest +of your _life_ under such vile conditions? Ha, you didn't think of that, +did you?" he continued when he saw the sudden stricken expression on her +face. "You don't like the idea, do you?" + +Mimi clenched her fists at her side and stamped her little foot. "I +don't _care_," she spit out, "I absolutely do not care! I will stay with +him, I will, I will, I _will_." She turned and looked at the bathroom +that opened off the bedroom, and blanched for one moment, then she shut +her eyes, gave another kick, and insisted. "I will, I will, I will!" + + * * * * * + +Donald sighed and slapped his hands at his side. He turned around, +hesitated for a few seconds, then said to the wall, "I've tried. I've +tried everything I could think of." He turned again and faced them, and +he raised his gun. "You're coming, Mimi. One way or another, you're +coming." + +So quietly he hardly realized what he was doing, but thankful that the +gas pain had vanished, Victor stepped between the gun and the girl. +"You'll have to kill me, Donald," he said. "You won't take her out of +here without killing me, I promise you that, and what will that do to +your future? A man from the future killing somebody here? Oh, no, +that'll upset everything. And before I've become famous? Your whole +history will be changed. You'd better think twice, Donald." + +The gun wavered, and lowered. + +"Would you care for a martini, Donald, dear?" Mimi asked. + +Donald turned and ran from the room. They heard his feet slipping down +the stairs, they heard the front door slam behind him. + +Victor started after him, but Mimi held him back. "What are you going to +do," she cried, "chase after him? What will you do when you catch him? +You're needed more here. After all," she continued, "think what I just +went through? I'm a nervous wreck, almost getting carted off to God +knows where like that. I need the care of a competent physician." + +He turned back to her in a daze, she clucked and patted his cheek, and +pushed him down onto the bed. She pulled out his handkerchief and mopped +his face. "Aren't you proud of me?" she said. "Wasn't that fast +thinking? How did you like that little story I told? It really threw +him, didn't it? He didn't know _what_ to think." + +"You mean," Victor stammered, "you mean you didn't mean it, you just +made it up? Just like that?" + +"Darling," she began to giggle, "you didn't bel_ieve_ that wild story? +About the future? Oh, _darling_, you couldn't possibly believe it." + +"Of course not," he said. "Of course not. Quick thinking, Mimi, yes, +very quick thinking. It _was_ a convincing story, you know. Very good. +But, my God! I've got to catch him." + +"Don't be silly," she said, pushing him down. "You'll never find him, +you'll never see him again. He'll be lost in the crowd. One more +screwball in New York, they'll never notice him. He'll fit right in. He +may even become President some day, or at least Dean of Students at some +small New England College. You just take my word for it, darling, and +relax a moment. I'll rush downstairs and bring you up a martini. We +deserve one. He'll be all right now. As long as he's made up his mind +that he can leave me here, he'll trot off somewhere and dig up another +neurosis, or psychosis, or whatever. He's not dangerous anymore. And you +heard him say we were never married, and we have no marriage +certificate, so I guess we're not. Can't we just forget about him, just +as if he never existed? Maybe he never _did_ exist. Maybe he was just a +figment of our imagination. Maybe he was just an instrument of kismet to +bring us together. Maybe he was just a wandering minstrel, or a memory +looking for a chance to be real?" + +"Maybe you'd better not talk so much, but just bring up the martini. +Better bring a pitcher. Green ones." + +And so she did. Their first honeymoon they spent in Bermuda; they took +their second on a trip to Sweden ten years later, when Victor went to +accept his first Nobel prize. + + +THE END + + + + +Transcriber's Note: + + This etext was produced from _Amazing Science Fiction Stories_ April + 1960. Extensive research did not uncover any evidence that the U.S. + copyright on this publication was renewed. Minor spelling and + typographical errors have been corrected without note. + + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of You Don't Make Wine Like the Greeks Did, by +David E. Fisher + +*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK YOU DON'T MAKE WINE LIKE GREEKS *** + +***** This file should be named 31897.txt or 31897.zip ***** +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: + https://www.gutenberg.org/3/1/8/9/31897/ + +Produced by Greg Weeks, Stephen Blundell and the Online +Distributed Proofreading Team at https://www.pgdp.net + + +Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions +will be renamed. + +Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no +one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation +(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without +permission and without paying copyright royalties. Special rules, +set forth in the General Terms of Use part of this license, apply to +copying and distributing Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works to +protect the PROJECT GUTENBERG-tm concept and trademark. Project +Gutenberg is a registered trademark, and may not be used if you +charge for the eBooks, unless you receive specific permission. If you +do not charge anything for copies of this eBook, complying with the +rules is very easy. You may use this eBook for nearly any purpose +such as creation of derivative works, reports, performances and +research. They may be modified and printed and given away--you may do +practically ANYTHING with public domain eBooks. Redistribution is +subject to the trademark license, especially commercial +redistribution. + + + +*** START: FULL LICENSE *** + +THE FULL PROJECT GUTENBERG LICENSE +PLEASE READ THIS BEFORE YOU DISTRIBUTE OR USE THIS WORK + +To protect the Project Gutenberg-tm mission of promoting the free +distribution of electronic works, by using or distributing this work +(or any other work associated in any way with the phrase "Project +Gutenberg"), you agree to comply with all the terms of the Full Project +Gutenberg-tm License (available with this file or online at +https://gutenberg.org/license). + + +Section 1. General Terms of Use and Redistributing Project Gutenberg-tm +electronic works + +1.A. By reading or using any part of this Project Gutenberg-tm +electronic work, you indicate that you have read, understand, agree to +and accept all the terms of this license and intellectual property +(trademark/copyright) agreement. If you do not agree to abide by all +the terms of this agreement, you must cease using and return or destroy +all copies of Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works in your possession. +If you paid a fee for obtaining a copy of or access to a Project +Gutenberg-tm electronic work and you do not agree to be bound by the +terms of this agreement, you may obtain a refund from the person or +entity to whom you paid the fee as set forth in paragraph 1.E.8. + +1.B. "Project Gutenberg" is a registered trademark. It may only be +used on or associated in any way with an electronic work by people who +agree to be bound by the terms of this agreement. There are a few +things that you can do with most Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works +even without complying with the full terms of this agreement. See +paragraph 1.C below. There are a lot of things you can do with Project +Gutenberg-tm electronic works if you follow the terms of this agreement +and help preserve free future access to Project Gutenberg-tm electronic +works. See paragraph 1.E below. + +1.C. The Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation ("the Foundation" +or PGLAF), owns a compilation copyright in the collection of Project +Gutenberg-tm electronic works. Nearly all the individual works in the +collection are in the public domain in the United States. If an +individual work is in the public domain in the United States and you are +located in the United States, we do not claim a right to prevent you from +copying, distributing, performing, displaying or creating derivative +works based on the work as long as all references to Project Gutenberg +are removed. Of course, we hope that you will support the Project +Gutenberg-tm mission of promoting free access to electronic works by +freely sharing Project Gutenberg-tm works in compliance with the terms of +this agreement for keeping the Project Gutenberg-tm name associated with +the work. You can easily comply with the terms of this agreement by +keeping this work in the same format with its attached full Project +Gutenberg-tm License when you share it without charge with others. + +1.D. The copyright laws of the place where you are located also govern +what you can do with this work. Copyright laws in most countries are in +a constant state of change. If you are outside the United States, check +the laws of your country in addition to the terms of this agreement +before downloading, copying, displaying, performing, distributing or +creating derivative works based on this work or any other Project +Gutenberg-tm work. The Foundation makes no representations concerning +the copyright status of any work in any country outside the United +States. + +1.E. Unless you have removed all references to Project Gutenberg: + +1.E.1. The following sentence, with active links to, or other immediate +access to, the full Project Gutenberg-tm License must appear prominently +whenever any copy of a Project Gutenberg-tm work (any work on which the +phrase "Project Gutenberg" appears, or with which the phrase "Project +Gutenberg" is associated) is accessed, displayed, performed, viewed, +copied or distributed: + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + +1.E.2. If an individual Project Gutenberg-tm electronic work is derived +from the public domain (does not contain a notice indicating that it is +posted with permission of the copyright holder), the work can be copied +and distributed to anyone in the United States without paying any fees +or charges. If you are redistributing or providing access to a work +with the phrase "Project Gutenberg" associated with or appearing on the +work, you must comply either with the requirements of paragraphs 1.E.1 +through 1.E.7 or obtain permission for the use of the work and the +Project Gutenberg-tm trademark as set forth in paragraphs 1.E.8 or +1.E.9. + +1.E.3. If an individual Project Gutenberg-tm electronic work is posted +with the permission of the copyright holder, your use and distribution +must comply with both paragraphs 1.E.1 through 1.E.7 and any additional +terms imposed by the copyright holder. Additional terms will be linked +to the Project Gutenberg-tm License for all works posted with the +permission of the copyright holder found at the beginning of this work. + +1.E.4. Do not unlink or detach or remove the full Project Gutenberg-tm +License terms from this work, or any files containing a part of this +work or any other work associated with Project Gutenberg-tm. + +1.E.5. Do not copy, display, perform, distribute or redistribute this +electronic work, or any part of this electronic work, without +prominently displaying the sentence set forth in paragraph 1.E.1 with +active links or immediate access to the full terms of the Project +Gutenberg-tm License. + +1.E.6. You may convert to and distribute this work in any binary, +compressed, marked up, nonproprietary or proprietary form, including any +word processing or hypertext form. However, if you provide access to or +distribute copies of a Project Gutenberg-tm work in a format other than +"Plain Vanilla ASCII" or other format used in the official version +posted on the official Project Gutenberg-tm web site (www.gutenberg.org), +you must, at no additional cost, fee or expense to the user, provide a +copy, a means of exporting a copy, or a means of obtaining a copy upon +request, of the work in its original "Plain Vanilla ASCII" or other +form. Any alternate format must include the full Project Gutenberg-tm +License as specified in paragraph 1.E.1. + +1.E.7. Do not charge a fee for access to, viewing, displaying, +performing, copying or distributing any Project Gutenberg-tm works +unless you comply with paragraph 1.E.8 or 1.E.9. + +1.E.8. You may charge a reasonable fee for copies of or providing +access to or distributing Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works provided +that + +- You pay a royalty fee of 20% of the gross profits you derive from + the use of Project Gutenberg-tm works calculated using the method + you already use to calculate your applicable taxes. The fee is + owed to the owner of the Project Gutenberg-tm trademark, but he + has agreed to donate royalties under this paragraph to the + Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation. Royalty payments + must be paid within 60 days following each date on which you + prepare (or are legally required to prepare) your periodic tax + returns. Royalty payments should be clearly marked as such and + sent to the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation at the + address specified in Section 4, "Information about donations to + the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation." + +- You provide a full refund of any money paid by a user who notifies + you in writing (or by e-mail) within 30 days of receipt that s/he + does not agree to the terms of the full Project Gutenberg-tm + License. You must require such a user to return or + destroy all copies of the works possessed in a physical medium + and discontinue all use of and all access to other copies of + Project Gutenberg-tm works. + +- You provide, in accordance with paragraph 1.F.3, a full refund of any + money paid for a work or a replacement copy, if a defect in the + electronic work is discovered and reported to you within 90 days + of receipt of the work. + +- You comply with all other terms of this agreement for free + distribution of Project Gutenberg-tm works. + +1.E.9. If you wish to charge a fee or distribute a Project Gutenberg-tm +electronic work or group of works on different terms than are set +forth in this agreement, you must obtain permission in writing from +both the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation and Michael +Hart, the owner of the Project Gutenberg-tm trademark. Contact the +Foundation as set forth in Section 3 below. + +1.F. + +1.F.1. Project Gutenberg volunteers and employees expend considerable +effort to identify, do copyright research on, transcribe and proofread +public domain works in creating the Project Gutenberg-tm +collection. Despite these efforts, Project Gutenberg-tm electronic +works, and the medium on which they may be stored, may contain +"Defects," such as, but not limited to, incomplete, inaccurate or +corrupt data, transcription errors, a copyright or other intellectual +property infringement, a defective or damaged disk or other medium, a +computer virus, or computer codes that damage or cannot be read by +your equipment. + +1.F.2. LIMITED WARRANTY, DISCLAIMER OF DAMAGES - Except for the "Right +of Replacement or Refund" described in paragraph 1.F.3, the Project +Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation, the owner of the Project +Gutenberg-tm trademark, and any other party distributing a Project +Gutenberg-tm electronic work under this agreement, disclaim all +liability to you for damages, costs and expenses, including legal +fees. YOU AGREE THAT YOU HAVE NO REMEDIES FOR NEGLIGENCE, STRICT +LIABILITY, BREACH OF WARRANTY OR BREACH OF CONTRACT EXCEPT THOSE +PROVIDED IN PARAGRAPH F3. YOU AGREE THAT THE FOUNDATION, THE +TRADEMARK OWNER, AND ANY DISTRIBUTOR UNDER THIS AGREEMENT WILL NOT BE +LIABLE TO YOU FOR ACTUAL, DIRECT, INDIRECT, CONSEQUENTIAL, PUNITIVE OR +INCIDENTAL DAMAGES EVEN IF YOU GIVE NOTICE OF THE POSSIBILITY OF SUCH +DAMAGE. + +1.F.3. LIMITED RIGHT OF REPLACEMENT OR REFUND - If you discover a +defect in this electronic work within 90 days of receiving it, you can +receive a refund of the money (if any) you paid for it by sending a +written explanation to the person you received the work from. If you +received the work on a physical medium, you must return the medium with +your written explanation. The person or entity that provided you with +the defective work may elect to provide a replacement copy in lieu of a +refund. If you received the work electronically, the person or entity +providing it to you may choose to give you a second opportunity to +receive the work electronically in lieu of a refund. If the second copy +is also defective, you may demand a refund in writing without further +opportunities to fix the problem. + +1.F.4. Except for the limited right of replacement or refund set forth +in paragraph 1.F.3, this work is provided to you 'AS-IS' WITH NO OTHER +WARRANTIES OF ANY KIND, EXPRESS OR IMPLIED, INCLUDING BUT NOT LIMITED TO +WARRANTIES OF MERCHANTIBILITY OR FITNESS FOR ANY PURPOSE. + +1.F.5. Some states do not allow disclaimers of certain implied +warranties or the exclusion or limitation of certain types of damages. +If any disclaimer or limitation set forth in this agreement violates the +law of the state applicable to this agreement, the agreement shall be +interpreted to make the maximum disclaimer or limitation permitted by +the applicable state law. The invalidity or unenforceability of any +provision of this agreement shall not void the remaining provisions. + +1.F.6. INDEMNITY - You agree to indemnify and hold the Foundation, the +trademark owner, any agent or employee of the Foundation, anyone +providing copies of Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works in accordance +with this agreement, and any volunteers associated with the production, +promotion and distribution of Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works, +harmless from all liability, costs and expenses, including legal fees, +that arise directly or indirectly from any of the following which you do +or cause to occur: (a) distribution of this or any Project Gutenberg-tm +work, (b) alteration, modification, or additions or deletions to any +Project Gutenberg-tm work, and (c) any Defect you cause. + + +Section 2. Information about the Mission of Project Gutenberg-tm + +Project Gutenberg-tm is synonymous with the free distribution of +electronic works in formats readable by the widest variety of computers +including obsolete, old, middle-aged and new computers. It exists +because of the efforts of hundreds of volunteers and donations from +people in all walks of life. + +Volunteers and financial support to provide volunteers with the +assistance they need are critical to reaching Project Gutenberg-tm's +goals and ensuring that the Project Gutenberg-tm collection will +remain freely available for generations to come. In 2001, the Project +Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation was created to provide a secure +and permanent future for Project Gutenberg-tm and future generations. +To learn more about the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation +and how your efforts and donations can help, see Sections 3 and 4 +and the Foundation web page at https://www.pglaf.org. + + +Section 3. Information about the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive +Foundation + +The Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation is a non profit +501(c)(3) educational corporation organized under the laws of the +state of Mississippi and granted tax exempt status by the Internal +Revenue Service. The Foundation's EIN or federal tax identification +number is 64-6221541. Its 501(c)(3) letter is posted at +https://pglaf.org/fundraising. Contributions to the Project Gutenberg +Literary Archive Foundation are tax deductible to the full extent +permitted by U.S. federal laws and your state's laws. + +The Foundation's principal office is located at 4557 Melan Dr. S. +Fairbanks, AK, 99712., but its volunteers and employees are scattered +throughout numerous locations. Its business office is located at +809 North 1500 West, Salt Lake City, UT 84116, (801) 596-1887, email +business@pglaf.org. Email contact links and up to date contact +information can be found at the Foundation's web site and official +page at https://pglaf.org + +For additional contact information: + Dr. Gregory B. Newby + Chief Executive and Director + gbnewby@pglaf.org + + +Section 4. Information about Donations to the Project Gutenberg +Literary Archive Foundation + +Project Gutenberg-tm depends upon and cannot survive without wide +spread public support and donations to carry out its mission of +increasing the number of public domain and licensed works that can be +freely distributed in machine readable form accessible by the widest +array of equipment including outdated equipment. Many small donations +($1 to $5,000) are particularly important to maintaining tax exempt +status with the IRS. + +The Foundation is committed to complying with the laws regulating +charities and charitable donations in all 50 states of the United +States. Compliance requirements are not uniform and it takes a +considerable effort, much paperwork and many fees to meet and keep up +with these requirements. We do not solicit donations in locations +where we have not received written confirmation of compliance. To +SEND DONATIONS or determine the status of compliance for any +particular state visit https://pglaf.org + +While we cannot and do not solicit contributions from states where we +have not met the solicitation requirements, we know of no prohibition +against accepting unsolicited donations from donors in such states who +approach us with offers to donate. + +International donations are gratefully accepted, but we cannot make +any statements concerning tax treatment of donations received from +outside the United States. U.S. laws alone swamp our small staff. + +Please check the Project Gutenberg Web pages for current donation +methods and addresses. Donations are accepted in a number of other +ways including including checks, online payments and credit card +donations. To donate, please visit: https://pglaf.org/donate + + +Section 5. General Information About Project Gutenberg-tm electronic +works. + +Professor Michael S. Hart was the originator of the Project Gutenberg-tm +concept of a library of electronic works that could be freely shared +with anyone. For thirty years, he produced and distributed Project +Gutenberg-tm eBooks with only a loose network of volunteer support. + + +Project Gutenberg-tm eBooks are often created from several printed +editions, all of which are confirmed as Public Domain in the U.S. +unless a copyright notice is included. Thus, we do not necessarily +keep eBooks in compliance with any particular paper edition. + + +Most people start at our Web site which has the main PG search facility: + + https://www.gutenberg.org + +This Web site includes information about Project Gutenberg-tm, +including how to make donations to the Project Gutenberg Literary +Archive Foundation, how to help produce our new eBooks, and how to +subscribe to our email newsletter to hear about new eBooks. |