diff options
Diffstat (limited to 'old/mtfco11.txt')
| -rw-r--r-- | old/mtfco11.txt | 878 |
1 files changed, 878 insertions, 0 deletions
diff --git a/old/mtfco11.txt b/old/mtfco11.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..64246af --- /dev/null +++ b/old/mtfco11.txt @@ -0,0 +1,878 @@ +The Project Gutenberg Etext of Fennimore Cooper Offences, +by Mark Twain, #33 in our series by Mark Twain (Samuel Clemens) + +Copyright laws are changing all over the world. Be sure to check the +copyright laws for your country before distributing this or any other +Project Gutenberg file. + +We encourage you to keep this file, exactly as it is, on your +own disk, thereby keeping an electronic path open for future +readers. Please do not remove this. + +This header should be the first thing seen when anyone starts to +view the etext. Do not change or edit it without written permission. +The words are carefully chosen to provide users with the +information they need to understand what they may and may not +do with the etext. + + +**Welcome To The World of Free Plain Vanilla Electronic Texts** + +**Etexts Readable By Both Humans and By Computers, Since 1971** + +*****These Etexts Are Prepared By Thousands of Volunteers!***** + +Information on contacting Project Gutenberg to get etexts, and +further information, is included below. We need your donations. + +The Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation is a 501(c)(3) +organization with EIN [Employee Identification Number] 64-6221541 + + + +Title: Fennimore Cooper's Literary Offences + +Author: Mark Twain + +Release Date: April, 2002 [Etext #3172] +[Yes, we are about one year ahead of schedule] +[This file was first posted on February 8, 2001] +[Most recently updated: November 29, 2001] + +Edition: 11 + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ASCII + +The Project Gutenberg Etext of Fennimore Cooper Offences, by Mark Twain +**********This file should be named mtfco11.txt or mtfco11.zip********* + +Corrected EDITIONS of our etexts get a new NUMBER, mtfco12.txt +VERSIONS based on separate sources get new LETTER, mtfco11a.txt + +This etext was produced by David Widger <widger@cecomet.net> + +Project Gutenberg Etexts are often created from several printed +editions, all of which are confirmed as Public Domain in the US +unless a copyright notice is included. Thus, we usually do not +keep etexts in compliance with any particular paper edition. + +We are now trying to release all our etexts one year in advance +of the official release dates, leaving time for better editing. +Please be encouraged to tell us about any error or corrections, +even years after the official publication date. + +Please note neither this listing nor its contents are final til +midnight of the last day of the month of any such announcement. +The official release date of all Project Gutenberg Etexts is at +Midnight, Central Time, of the last day of the stated month. A +preliminary version may often be posted for suggestion, comment +and editing by those who wish to do so. + +Most people start at our sites at: +http://gutenberg.net or +http://promo.net/pg + +These Web sites include award-winning information about Project +Gutenberg, including how to donate, how to help produce our new +etexts, and how to subscribe to our email newsletter (free!). + + +Those of you who want to download any Etext before announcement +can get to them as follows, and just download by date. This is +also a good way to get them instantly upon announcement, as the +indexes our cataloguers produce obviously take a while after an +announcement goes out in the Project Gutenberg Newsletter. + +http://www.ibiblio.org/gutenberg/etext03 or +ftp://ftp.ibiblio.org/pub/docs/books/gutenberg/etext03 + +Or /etext02, 01, 00, 99, 98, 97, 96, 95, 94, 93, 92, 92, 91 or 90 + +Just search by the first five letters of the filename you want, +as it appears in our Newsletters. + + +Information about Project Gutenberg (one page) + +We produce about two million dollars for each hour we work. The +time it takes us, a rather conservative estimate, is fifty hours +to get any etext selected, entered, proofread, edited, copyright +searched and analyzed, the copyright letters written, etc. Our +projected audience is one hundred million readers. If the value +per text is nominally estimated at one dollar then we produce $2 +million dollars per hour in 2001 as we release over 50 new Etext +files per month, or 500 more Etexts in 2000 for a total of 4000+ +If they reach just 1-2% of the world's population then the total +should reach over 300 billion Etexts given away by year's end. + +The Goal of Project Gutenberg is to Give Away One Trillion Etext +Files by December 31, 2001. [10,000 x 100,000,000 = 1 Trillion] +This is ten thousand titles each to one hundred million readers, +which is only about 4% of the present number of computer users. + +At our revised rates of production, we will reach only one-third +of that goal by the end of 2001, or about 4,000 Etexts. We need +funding, as well as continued efforts by volunteers, to maintain +or increase our production and reach our goals. + +The Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation has been created +to secure a future for Project Gutenberg into the next millennium. + +We need your donations more than ever! + +As of November, 2001, contributions are being solicited from people +and organizations in: Alabama, Arkansas, Connecticut, Delaware, +Florida, Georgia, Idaho, Illinois, Indiana, Iowa, Kansas, Kentucky, +Louisiana, Maine, Michigan, Missouri, Montana, Nebraska, Nevada, New +Jersey, New Mexico, New York, North Carolina, Oklahoma, Oregon, +Pennsylvania, Rhode Island, South Carolina, South Dakota, Tennessee, +Texas, Utah, Vermont, Virginia, Washington, West Virginia, Wisconsin, +and Wyoming. + +*In Progress + +We have filed in about 45 states now, but these are the only ones +that have responded. + +As the requirements for other states are met, additions to this list +will be made and fund raising will begin in the additional states. +Please feel free to ask to check the status of your state. + +In answer to various questions we have received on this: + +We are constantly working on finishing the paperwork to legally +request donations in all 50 states. If your state is not listed and +you would like to know if we have added it since the list you have, +just ask. + +While we cannot solicit donations from people in states where we are +not yet registered, we know of no prohibition against accepting +donations from donors in these states who approach us with an offer to +donate. + +International donations are accepted, but we don't know ANYTHING about +how to make them tax-deductible, or even if they CAN be made +deductible, and don't have the staff to handle it even if there are +ways. + +All donations should be made to: + +Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation +PMB 113 +1739 University Ave. +Oxford, MS 38655-4109 + +Contact us if you want to arrange for a wire transfer or payment +method other than by check or money order. + + +The Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation has been approved by +the US Internal Revenue Service as a 501(c)(3) organization with EIN +[Employee Identification Number] 64-622154. Donations are +tax-deductible to the maximum extent permitted by law. As fundraising +requirements for other states are met, additions to this list will be +made and fundraising will begin in the additional states. + +We need your donations more than ever! + +You can get up to date donation information at: + +http://www.gutenberg.net/donation.html + + +*** + +If you can't reach Project Gutenberg, +you can always email directly to: + +Michael S. Hart <hart@pobox.com> + +Prof. Hart will answer or forward your message. + +We would prefer to send you information by email. + + +**The Legal Small Print** + + +(Three Pages) + +***START**THE SMALL PRINT!**FOR PUBLIC DOMAIN ETEXTS**START*** +Why is this "Small Print!" statement here? You know: lawyers. +They tell us you might sue us if there is something wrong with +your copy of this etext, even if you got it for free from +someone other than us, and even if what's wrong is not our +fault. So, among other things, this "Small Print!" statement +disclaims most of our liability to you. It also tells you how +you may distribute copies of this etext if you want to. + +*BEFORE!* YOU USE OR READ THIS ETEXT +By using or reading any part of this PROJECT GUTENBERG-tm +etext, you indicate that you understand, agree to and accept +this "Small Print!" statement. If you do not, you can receive +a refund of the money (if any) you paid for this etext by +sending a request within 30 days of receiving it to the person +you got it from. If you received this etext on a physical +medium (such as a disk), you must return it with your request. + +ABOUT PROJECT GUTENBERG-TM ETEXTS +This PROJECT GUTENBERG-tm etext, like most PROJECT GUTENBERG-tm etexts, +is a "public domain" work distributed by Professor Michael S. Hart +through the Project Gutenberg Association (the "Project"). +Among other things, this means that no one owns a United States copyright +on or for this work, so the Project (and you!) can copy and +distribute it in the United States without permission and +without paying copyright royalties. Special rules, set forth +below, apply if you wish to copy and distribute this etext +under the "PROJECT GUTENBERG" trademark. + +Please do not use the "PROJECT GUTENBERG" trademark to market +any commercial products without permission. + +To create these etexts, the Project expends considerable +efforts to identify, transcribe and proofread public domain +works. Despite these efforts, the Project's etexts and any +medium they may be on may contain "Defects". Among other +things, Defects may take the form of incomplete, inaccurate or +corrupt data, transcription errors, a copyright or other +intellectual property infringement, a defective or damaged +disk or other etext medium, a computer virus, or computer +codes that damage or cannot be read by your equipment. + +LIMITED WARRANTY; DISCLAIMER OF DAMAGES +But for the "Right of Replacement or Refund" described below, +[1] Michael Hart and the Foundation (and any other party you may +receive this etext from as a PROJECT GUTENBERG-tm etext) disclaims +all liability to you for damages, costs and expenses, including +legal fees, and [2] YOU HAVE NO REMEDIES FOR NEGLIGENCE OR +UNDER STRICT LIABILITY, OR FOR BREACH OF WARRANTY OR CONTRACT, +INCLUDING BUT NOT LIMITED TO INDIRECT, CONSEQUENTIAL, PUNITIVE +OR INCIDENTAL DAMAGES, EVEN IF YOU GIVE NOTICE OF THE +POSSIBILITY OF SUCH DAMAGES. + +If you discover a Defect in this etext within 90 days of +receiving it, you can receive a refund of the money (if any) +you paid for it by sending an explanatory note within that +time to the person you received it from. If you received it +on a physical medium, you must return it with your note, and +such person may choose to alternatively give you a replacement +copy. If you received it electronically, such person may +choose to alternatively give you a second opportunity to +receive it electronically. + +THIS ETEXT IS OTHERWISE PROVIDED TO YOU "AS-IS". NO OTHER +WARRANTIES OF ANY KIND, EXPRESS OR IMPLIED, ARE MADE TO YOU AS +TO THE ETEXT OR ANY MEDIUM IT MAY BE ON, INCLUDING BUT NOT +LIMITED TO WARRANTIES OF MERCHANTABILITY OR FITNESS FOR A +PARTICULAR PURPOSE. + +Some states do not allow disclaimers of implied warranties or +the exclusion or limitation of consequential damages, so the +above disclaimers and exclusions may not apply to you, and you +may have other legal rights. + +INDEMNITY +You will indemnify and hold Michael Hart, the Foundation, +and its trustees and agents, and any volunteers associated +with the production and distribution of Project Gutenberg-tm +texts harmless, from all liability, cost and expense, including +legal fees, that arise directly or indirectly from any of the +following that you do or cause: [1] distribution of this etext, +[2] alteration, modification, or addition to the etext, +or [3] any Defect. + +DISTRIBUTION UNDER "PROJECT GUTENBERG-tm" +You may distribute copies of this etext electronically, or by +disk, book or any other medium if you either delete this +"Small Print!" and all other references to Project Gutenberg, +or: + +[1] Only give exact copies of it. Among other things, this + requires that you do not remove, alter or modify the + etext or this "small print!" statement. You may however, + if you wish, distribute this etext in machine readable + binary, compressed, mark-up, or proprietary form, + including any form resulting from conversion by word + processing or hypertext software, but only so long as + *EITHER*: + + [*] The etext, when displayed, is clearly readable, and + does *not* contain characters other than those + intended by the author of the work, although tilde + (~), asterisk (*) and underline (_) characters may + be used to convey punctuation intended by the + author, and additional characters may be used to + indicate hypertext links; OR + + [*] The etext may be readily converted by the reader at + no expense into plain ASCII, EBCDIC or equivalent + form by the program that displays the etext (as is + the case, for instance, with most word processors); + OR + + [*] You provide, or agree to also provide on request at + no additional cost, fee or expense, a copy of the + etext in its original plain ASCII form (or in EBCDIC + or other equivalent proprietary form). + +[2] Honor the etext refund and replacement provisions of this + "Small Print!" statement. + +[3] Pay a trademark license fee to the Foundation of 20% of the + gross profits you derive calculated using the method you + already use to calculate your applicable taxes. If you + don't derive profits, no royalty is due. Royalties are + payable to "Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation" + the 60 days following each date you prepare (or were + legally required to prepare) your annual (or equivalent + periodic) tax return. Please contact us beforehand to + let us know your plans and to work out the details. + +WHAT IF YOU *WANT* TO SEND MONEY EVEN IF YOU DON'T HAVE TO? +Project Gutenberg is dedicated to increasing the number of +public domain and licensed works that can be freely distributed +in machine readable form. + +The Project gratefully accepts contributions of money, time, +public domain materials, or royalty free copyright licenses. +Money should be paid to the: +"Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation." + +If you are interested in contributing scanning equipment or +software or other items, please contact Michael Hart at: +hart@pobox.com + +[Portions of this header are copyright (C) 2001 by Michael S. Hart +and may be reprinted only when these Etexts are free of all fees.] +[Project Gutenberg is a TradeMark and may not be used in any sales +of Project Gutenberg Etexts or other materials be they hardware or +software or any other related product without express permission.] + +*END THE SMALL PRINT! FOR PUBLIC DOMAIN ETEXTS*Ver.10/04/01*END* + + + + + +This etext was produced by David Widger <widger@cecomet.net> + + + + + +FENIMORE COOPER'S LITERARY OFFENCES + +by Mark Twain + + + + The Pathfinder and The Deerslayer stand at the head of Cooper's + novels as artistic creations. There are others of his works + which contain parts as perfect as are to be found in these, and + scenes even more thrilling. Not one can be compared with + either of them as a finished whole. + + The defects in both of these tales are comparatively slight. + They were pure works of art.--Prof. Lounsbury. + + + The five tales reveal an extraordinary fulness of invention. + . . . One of the very greatest characters in fiction, Natty + Bumppo . . . . + + The craft of the woodsman, the tricks of the trapper, all the + delicate art of the forest, were familiar to Cooper from his + youth up.--Prof. Brander Matthews. + + Cooper is the greatest artist in the domain of romantic fiction + yet produced by America.--Wilkie Collins. + + +It seems to me that it was far from right for the Professor of English +Literature in Yale, the Professor of English Literature in Columbia, and +Wilkie Collies to deliver opinions on Cooper's literature without having +read some of it. It would have been much more decorous to keep silent +and let persons talk who have read Cooper. + +Cooper's art has some defects. In one place in 'Deerslayer,' and in the +restricted space of two-thirds of a page, Cooper has scored 114 offences +against literary art out of a possible 115. It breaks the record. + +There are nineteen rules governing literary art in the domain of romantic +fiction--some say twenty-two. In Deerslayer Cooper violated eighteen of +them. These eighteen require: + +1. That a tale shall accomplish something and arrive somewhere. But the +Deerslayer tale accomplishes nothing and arrives in the air. + +2. They require that the episodes of a tale shall be necessary parts of +the tale, and shall help to develop it. But as the Deerslayer tale is +not a tale, and accomplishes nothing and arrives nowhere, the episodes +have no rightful place in the work, since there was nothing for them to +develop. + +3. They require that the personages in a tale shall be alive, except in +the case of corpses, and that always the reader shall be able to tell the +corpses from the others. But this detail has often been overlooked in +the Deerslayer tale. + +4. They require that the personages in a tale, both dead and alive, +shall exhibit a sufficient excuse for being there. But this detail also +has been overlooked in the Deerslayer tale. + +5. They require that when the personages of a tale deal in conversation, +the talk shall sound like human talk, and be talk such as human beings +would be likely to talk in the given circumstances, and have a +discoverable meaning, also a discoverable purpose, and a show of +relevancy, and remain in the neighborhood of the subject in hand, and be +interesting to the reader, and help out the tale, and stop when the +people cannot think of anything more to say. But this requirement has +been ignored from the beginning of the Deerslayer tale to the end of it. + +6. They require that when the author describes the character of a +personage in his tale, the conduct and conversation of that personage +shall justify said description. But this law gets little or no attention +in the Deerslayer tale, as Natty Bumppo's case will amply prove. + +7. They require that when a personage talks like an illustrated, gilt- +edged, tree-calf, hand-tooled, seven-dollar Friendship's Offering in the +beginning of a paragraph, he shall not talk like a negro minstrel in the +end of it. But this rule is flung down and danced upon in the Deerslayer +tale. + +8. They require that crass stupidities shall not be played upon the +reader as "the craft of the woodsman, the delicate art of the forest," by +either the author or the people in the tale. But this rule is +persistently violated in the Deerslayer tale. + +9. They require that the personages of a tale shall confine themselves +to possibilities and let miracles alone; or, if they venture a miracle, +the author must so plausibly set it forth as to make it look possible and +reasonable. But these rules are not respected in the Deerslayer tale. + +10. They require that the author shall make the reader feel a deep +interest in the personages of his tale and in their fate; and that he +shall make the reader love the good people in the tale and hate the bad +ones. But the reader of the Deerslayer tale dislikes the good people in +it, is indifferent to the others, and wishes they would all get drowned +together. + +11. They require that the characters in a tale shall be so clearly +defined that the reader can tell beforehand what each will do in a given +emergency. But in the Deerslayer tale this rule is vacated. + +In addition to these large rules there are some little ones. These +require that the author shall: + +12. Say what he is proposing to say, not merely come near it. + +13. Use the right word, not its second cousin. + +14. Eschew surplusage. + +15. Not omit necessary details. + +16. Avoid slovenliness of form. + +17. Use good grammar. + +18. Employ a simple and straightforward style. + +Even these seven are coldly and persistently violated in the Deerslayer +tale. + +Cooper's gift in the way of invention was not a rich endowment; but such +as it was he liked to work it, he was pleased with the effects, and +indeed he did some quite sweet things with it. In his little box of +stage properties he kept six or eight cunning devices, tricks, artifices +for his savages and woodsmen to deceive and circumvent each other with, +and he was never so happy as when he was working these innocent things +and seeing them go. A favorite one was to make a moccasined person tread +in the tracks of the moccasined enemy, and thus hide his own trail. +Cooper wore out barrels and barrels of moccasins in working that trick. +Another stage-property that he pulled out of his box pretty frequently +was his broken twig. He prized his broken twig above all the rest of his +effects, and worked it the hardest. It is a restful chapter in any book +of his when somebody doesn't step on a dry twig and alarm all the reds +and whites for two hundred yards around. Every time a Cooper person is +in peril, and absolute silence is worth four dollars a minute, he is sure +to step on a dry twig. There may be a hundred handier things to step on, +but that wouldn't satisfy Cooper. Cooper requires him to turn out and +find a dry twig; and if he can't do it, go and borrow one. In fact, the +Leather Stocking Series ought to have been called the Broken Twig Series. + +I am sorry there is not room to put in a few dozen instances of the +delicate art of the forest, as practised by Natty Bumppo and some of the +other Cooperian experts. Perhaps we may venture two or three samples. +Cooper was a sailor--a naval officer; yet he gravely tells us how a +vessel, driving towards a lee shore in a gale, is steered for a +particular spot by her skipper because he knows of an undertow there +which will hold her back against the gale and save her. For just pure +woodcraft, or sailorcraft, or whatever it is, isn't that neat? For +several years Cooper was daily in the society of artillery, and he ought +to have noticed that when a cannon-ball strikes the ground it either +buries itself or skips a hundred feet or so; skips again a hundred feet +or so--and so on, till finally it gets tired and rolls. Now in one place +he loses some "females"--as he always calls women--in the edge of a wood +near a plain at night in a fog, on purpose to give Bumppo a chance to +show off the delicate art of the forest before the reader. These mislaid +people are hunting for a fort. They hear a cannonblast, and a cannon- +ball presently comes rolling into the wood and stops at their feet. To +the females this suggests nothing. The case is very different with the +admirable Bumppo. I wish I may never know peace again if he doesn't +strike out promptly and follow the track of that cannon-ball across the +plain through the dense fog and find the fort. Isn't it a daisy? If +Cooper had any real knowledge of Nature's ways of doing things, he had a +most delicate art in concealing the fact. For instance: one of his acute +Indian experts, Chingachgook (pronounced Chicago, I think), has lost the +trail of a person he is tracking through the forest. Apparently that +trail is hopelessly lost. Neither you nor I could ever have guessed out +the way to find it. It was very different with Chicago. Chicago was not +stumped for long. He turned a running stream out of its course, and +there, in the slush in its old bed, were that person's moccasin-tracks. +The current did not wash them away, as it would have done in all other +like cases--no, even the eternal laws of Nature have to vacate when +Cooper wants to put up a delicate job of woodcraft on the reader. + +We must be a little wary when Brander Matthews tells us that Cooper's +books "reveal an extraordinary fulness of invention." As a rule, I am +quite willing to accept Brander Matthews's literary judgments and applaud +his lucid and graceful phrasing of them; but that particular statement +needs to be taken with a few tons of salt. Bless your heart, Cooper +hadn't any more invention than a horse; and I don't mean a high-class +horse, either; I mean a clothes-horse. It would be very difficult to +find a really clever "situation" in Cooper's books, and still more +difficult to find one of any kind which he has failed to render absurd by +his handling of it. Look at the episodes of "the caves"; and at the +celebrated scuffle between Maqua and those others on the table-land a few +days later; and at Hurry Harry's queer water-transit from the castle to +the ark; and at Deerslayer's half-hour with his first corpse; and at the +quarrel between Hurry Harry and Deerslayer later; and at--but choose for +yourself; you can't go amiss. + +If Cooper had been an observer his inventive faculty would have worked +better; not more interestingly, but more rationally, more plausibly. +Cooper's proudest creations in the way of "situations" suffer noticeably +from the absence of the observer's protecting gift. Cooper's eye was +splendidly inaccurate. Cooper seldom saw anything correctly. He saw +nearly all things as through a glass eye, darkly. Of course a man who +cannot see the commonest little every-day matters accurately is working +at a disadvantage when he is constructing a "situation." In the +Deerslayer tale Cooper has a stream which is fifty feet wide where it +flows out of a lake; it presently narrows to twenty as it meanders along +for no given reason; and yet when a stream acts like that it ought to be +required to explain itself. Fourteen pages later the width of the +brook's outlet from the lake has suddenly shrunk thirty feet, and become +"the narrowest part of the stream." This shrinkage is not accounted for. +The stream has bends in it, a sure indication that it has alluvial banks +and cuts them; yet these bends are only thirty and fifty feet long. If +Cooper had been a nice and punctilious observer he would have noticed +that the bends were oftener nine hundred feet long than short of it. + +Cooper made the exit of that stream fifty feet wide, in the first place, +for no particular reason; in the second place, he narrowed it to less +than twenty to accommodate some Indians. He bends a "sapling" to the +form of an arch over this narrow passage, and conceals six Indians in its +foliage. They are "laying" for a settler's scow or ark which is coming +up the stream on its way to the lake; it is being hauled against the +stiff current by a rope whose stationary end is anchored in the lake; its +rate of progress cannot be more than a mile an hour. Cooper describes +the ark, but pretty obscurely. In the matter of dimensions "it was +little more than a modern canal-boat." Let us guess, then, that it was +about one hundred and forty feet long. It was of "greater breadth than +common." Let us guess, then, that it was about sixteen feet wide. This +leviathan had been prowling down bends which were but a third as long as +itself, and scraping between banks where it had only two feet of space to +spare on each side. We cannot too much admire this miracle. A low- +roofed log dwelling occupies "two-thirds of the ark's length"--a dwelling +ninety feet long and sixteen feet wide, let us say a kind of vestibule +train. The dwelling has two rooms--each forty-five feet long and sixteen +feet wide, let us guess. One of them is the bedroom of the Hutter girls, +Judith and Hetty; the other is the parlor in the daytime, at night it is +papa's bedchamber. The ark is arriving at the stream's exit now, whose +width has been reduced to less than twenty feet to accommodate the +Indians--say to eighteen. There is a foot to spare on each side of the +boat. Did the Indians notice that there was going to be a tight squeeze +there? Did they notice that they could make money by climbing down out +of that arched sapling and just stepping aboard when the ark scraped by? +No, other Indians would have noticed these things, but Cooper's Indians +never notice anything. Cooper thinks they are marvelous creatures for +noticing, but he was almost always in error about his Indians. There was +seldom a sane one among them. + +The ark is one hundred and forty feet long; the dwelling is ninety feet +long. The idea of the Indians is to drop softly and secretly from the +arched sapling to the dwelling as the ark creeps along under it at the +rate of a mile an hour, and butcher the family. It will take the ark a +minute and a half to pass under. It will take the ninety foot dwelling a +minute to pass under. Now, then, what did the six Indians do? It would +take you thirty years to guess, and even then you would have to give it +up, I believe. Therefore, I will tell you what the Indians did. Their +chief, a person of quite extraordinary intellect for a Cooper Indian, +warily watched the canal-boat as it squeezed along under him, and when he +had got his calculations fined down to exactly the right shade, as he +judged, he let go and dropped. And missed the house! That is actually +what he did. He missed the house, and landed in the stern of the scow. +It was not much of a fall, yet it knocked him silly. He lay there +unconscious. If the house had been ninety-seven feet long he would have +made the trip. The fault was Cooper's, not his. The error lay in the +construction of the house. Cooper was no architect. + +There still remained in the roost five Indians. + +The boat has passed under and is now out of their reach. Let me explain +what the five did--you would not be able to reason it out for yourself. +No. 1 jumped for the boat, but fell in the water astern of it. Then No. +2 jumped for the boat, but fell in the water still farther astern of it. +Then No. 3 jumped for the boat, and fell a good way astern of it. Then +No, 4. jumped for the boat, and fell in the water away astern. Then +even No. 5 made a jump for the boat--for he was a Cooper Indian. In the +matter of intellect, the difference between a Cooper Indian and the +Indian that stands in front of the cigarshop is not spacious. The scow +episode is really a sublime burst of invention; but it does not thrill, +because the inaccuracy of the details throws a sort of air of +fictitiousness and general improbability over it. This comes of Cooper's +inadequacy as an observer. + +The reader will find some examples of Cooper's high talent for inaccurate +observation in the account of the shooting-match in The Pathfinder. + + "A common wrought nail was driven lightly into the target, its + head having been first touched with paint." + +The color of the paint is not stated--an important omission, but Cooper +deals freely in important omissions. No, after all, it was not an +important omission; for this nail-head is a hundred yards from the +marksmen, and could not be seen by them at that distance, no matter what +its color might be. + +How far can the best eyes see a common house-fly? A hundred yards? It +is quite impossible. Very well; eyes that cannot see a house-fly that is +a hundred yards away cannot see an ordinary nailhead at that distance, +for the size of the two objects is the same. It takes a keen eye to see +a fly or a nailhead at fifty yards--one hundred and fifty feet. Can the +reader do it? + +The nail was lightly driven, its head painted, and game called. Then the +Cooper miracles began. The bullet of the first marksman chipped an edge +off the nail-head; the next man's bullet drove the nail a little way into +the target--and removed all the paint. Haven't the miracles gone far +enough now? Not to suit Cooper; for the purpose of this whole scheme is +to show off his prodigy, Deerslayer Hawkeye--Long-Rifle-Leather-Stocking- +Pathfinder-Bumppo before the ladies. + + "'Be all ready to clench it, boys I' cried out Pathfinder, + stepping into his friend's tracks the instant they were vacant. + 'Never mind a new nail; I can see that, though the paint is + gone, and what I can see I can hit at a hundred yards, though + it were only a mosquito's eye. Be ready to clench!' + +"The rifle cracked, the bullet sped its way, and the head of the nail was +buried in the wood, covered by the piece of flattened lead." + +There, you see, is a man who could hunt flies with a rifle, and command a +ducal salary in a Wild West show to-day if we had him back with us. + +The recorded feat is certainly surprising just as it stands; but it is +not surprising enough for Cooper. Cooper adds a touch. He has made +Pathfinder do this miracle with another man's rifle; and not only that, +but Pathfinder did not have even the advantage of loading it himself. He +had everything against him, and yet he made that impossible shot; and not +only made it, but did it with absolute confidence, saying, "Be ready to +clench." Now a person like that would have undertaken that same feat +with a brickbat, and with Cooper to help he would have achieved it, too. + +Pathfinder showed off handsomely that day before the ladies. His very +first feat was a thing which no Wild West show can touch. He was +standing with the group of marksmen, observing--a hundred yards from the +target, mind; one jasper raised his rifle and drove the centre of the +bull's-eye. Then the Quartermaster fired. The target exhibited no +result this time. There was a laugh. "It's a dead miss," said Major +Lundie. Pathfinder waited an impressive moment or two; then said, in +that calm, indifferent, know-it-all way of his, "No, Major, he has +covered jasper's bullet, as will be seen if any one will take the trouble +to examine the target." + +Wasn't it remarkable! How could he see that little pellet fly through +the air and enter that distant bullet-hole? Yet that is what he did; for +nothing is impossible to a Cooper person. Did any of those people have +any deep-seated doubts about this thing? No; for that would imply +sanity, and these were all Cooper people. + + "The respect for Pathfinder's skill and for his 'quickness and + accuracy of sight'" (the italics [''] are mine) "was so + profound and general, that the instant he made this declaration + the spectators began to distrust their own opinions, and a + dozen rushed to the target in order to ascertain the fact. + There, sure enough, it was found that the Quartermaster's + bullet had gone through the hole made by Jasper's, and that, + too, so accurately as to require a minute examination to be + certain of the circumstance, which, however, was soon clearly + established by discovering one bullet over the other in the + stump against which the target was placed." + +They made a "minute" examination; but never mind, how could they know +that there were two bullets in that hole without digging the latest one +out? for neither probe nor eyesight could prove the presence of any more +than one bullet. Did they dig? No; as we shall see. It is the +Pathfinder's turn now; he steps out before the ladies, takes aim, and +fires. + +But, alas! here is a disappointment; an incredible, an unimaginable +disappointment--for the target's aspect is unchanged; there is nothing +there but that same old bullet-hole! + + "'If one dared to hint at such a thing,' cried Major Duncan, 'I + should say that the Pathfinder has also missed the target!'" + +As nobody had missed it yet, the "also" was not necessary; but never mind +about that, for the Pathfinder is going to speak. + + "'No, no, Major,' said he, confidently, 'that would be a risky + declaration. I didn't load the piece, and can't say what was + in it; but if it was lead, you will find the bullet driving + down those of the Quartermaster and Jasper, else is not my name + Pathfinder.' + + "A shout from the target announced the truth of this + assertion." + +Is the miracle sufficient as it stands? Not for Cooper. The Pathfinder +speaks again, as he "now slowly advances towards the stage occupied by +the females": + + "'That's not all, boys, that's not all; if you find the target + touched at all, I'll own to a miss. The Quartermaster cut the + wood, but you'll find no wood cut by that last messenger." + +The miracle is at last complete. He knew--doubtless saw--at the distance +of a hundred yards--that his bullet had passed into the hole without +fraying the edges. There were now three bullets in that one hole--three +bullets embedded processionally in the body of the stump back of the +target. Everybody knew this--somehow or other--and yet nobody had dug +any of them out to make sure. Cooper is not a close observer, but he is +interesting. He is certainly always that, no matter what happens. And +he is more interesting when he is not noticing what he is about than when +he is. This is a considerable merit. + +The conversations in the Cooper books have a curious sound in our modern +ears. To believe that such talk really ever came out of people's mouths +would be to believe that there was a time when time was of no value to a +person who thought he had something to say; when it was the custom to +spread a two-minute remark out to ten; when a man's mouth was a rolling- +mill, and busied itself all day long in turning four-foot pigs of thought +into thirty-foot bars of conversational railroad iron by attenuation; +when subjects were seldom faithfully stuck to, but the talk wandered all +around and arrived nowhere; when conversations consisted mainly of +irrelevancies, with here and there a relevancy, a relevancy with an +embarrassed look, as not being able to explain how it got there. + +Cooper was certainly not a master in the construction of dialogue. +Inaccurate observation defeated him here as it defeated him in so many +other enterprises of his. He even failed to notice that the man who +talks corrupt English six days in the week must and will talk it on the +seventh, and can't help himself. In the Deerslayer story he lets +Deerslayer talk the showiest kind of book-talk sometimes, and at other +times the basest of base dialects. For instance, when some one asks him +if he has a sweetheart, and if so, where she abides, this is his majestic +answer: + + "'She's in the forest-hanging from the boughs of the trees, in + a soft rain--in the dew on the open grass--the clouds that + float about in the blue heavens--the birds that sing in the + woods--the sweet springs where I slake my thirst--and in all + the other glorious gifts that come from God's Providence!'" + +And he preceded that, a little before, with this: + + "'It consarns me as all things that touches a fri'nd consarns a + fri'nd.'" + +And this is another of his remarks: + + "'If I was Injin born, now, I might tell of this, or carry in + the scalp and boast of the expl'ite afore the whole tribe; or + if my inimy had only been a bear'"--and so on. + +We cannot imagine such a thing as a veteran Scotch Commander-in-Chief +comporting himself in the field like a windy melodramatic actor, but +Cooper could. On one occasion Alice and Cora were being chased by the +French through a fog in the neighborhood of their father's fort: + + "'Point de quartier aux coquins!' cried an eager pursuer, who + seemed to direct the operations of the enemy. + + "'Stand firm and be ready, my gallant Goths!' suddenly + exclaimed a voice above them; wait to see the enemy; fire low, + and sweep the glacis.' + + "'Father? father!' exclaimed a piercing cry from out the mist; + it is I! Alice! thy own Elsie! spare, O! save your daughters!' + + "'Hold!' shouted the former speaker, in the awful tones of + parental agony, the sound reaching even to the woods, and + rolling back in solemn echo. ''Tis she! God has restored me my + children! Throw open the sally-port; to the field, Goths, to + the field! pull not a trigger, lest ye kill my lambs! Drive + off these dogs of France with your steel!'" + +Cooper's word-sense was singularly dull. When a person has a poor ear +for music he will flat and sharp right along without knowing it. He +keeps near the tune, but it is not the tune. When a person has a poor +ear for words, the result is a literary flatting and sharping; you +perceive what he is intending to say, but you also perceive that he +doesn't say it. This is Cooper. He was not a word-musician. His ear +was satisfied with the approximate word. I will furnish some +circumstantial evidence in support of this charge. My instances are +gathered from half a dozen pages of the tale called Deerslayer. He uses +"verbal," for "oral"; "precision," for "facility"; "phenomena," for +"marvels"; "necessary," for "predetermined"; "unsophisticated," for +"primitive"; "preparation," for "expectancy"; "rebuked," for "subdued"; +"dependent on," for "resulting from"; "fact," for "condition"; "fact," +for "conjecture"; "precaution," for "caution"; "explain," for +"determine"; "mortified," for "disappointed"; "meretricious," for +"factitious"; "materially," for "considerably"; "decreasing," for +"deepening"; "increasing," for "disappearing"; "embedded," for +"enclosed"; "treacherous;" for "hostile"; "stood," for "stooped"; +"softened," for "replaced"; "rejoined," for "remarked"; "situation," for +"condition"; "different," for "differing"; "insensible," for +"unsentient"; "brevity," for "celerity"; "distrusted," for "suspicious"; +"mental imbecility," for "imbecility"; "eyes," for "sight"; +"counteracting," for "opposing"; "funeral obsequies," for "obsequies." + +There have been daring people in the world who claimed that Cooper could +write English, but they are all dead now--all dead but Lounsbury. +I don't remember that Lounsbury makes the claim in so many words, still +he makes it, for he says that Deerslayer is a "pure work of art." +Pure, in that connection, means faultless--faultless in all details and +language is a detail. If Mr. Lounsbury had only compared Cooper's +English with the English which he writes himself--but it is plain that he +didn't; and so it is likely that he imagines until this day that Cooper's +is as clean and compact as his own. Now I feel sure, deep down in my +heart, that Cooper wrote about the poorest English that exists in our +language, and that the English of Deerslayer is the very worst that even +Cooper ever wrote. + +I may be mistaken, but it does seem to me that Deerslayer is not a work +of art in any sense; it does seem to me that it is destitute of every +detail that goes to the making of a work of art; in truth, it seems to me +that Deerslayer is just simply a literary delirium tremens. + +A work of art? It has no invention; it has no order, system, sequence, +or result; it has no lifelikeness, no thrill, no stir, no seeming of +reality; its characters are confusedly drawn, and by their acts and words +they prove that they are not the sort of people the author claims that +they are; its humor is pathetic; its pathos is funny; its conversations +are--oh! indescribable; its love-scenes odious; its English a crime +against the language. + +Counting these out, what is left is Art. I think we must all admit that. + + + + +End of this Project Gutenberg Etext of Fennimore Cooper's Literary Offences +by Mark Twain + |