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diff --git a/31671.txt b/31671.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..d710946 --- /dev/null +++ b/31671.txt @@ -0,0 +1,2920 @@ +Project Gutenberg's Plain Talks on Avoided Subjects, by Henry Newell Guernsey + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: Plain Talks on Avoided Subjects + +Author: Henry Newell Guernsey + +Release Date: March 17, 2010 [EBook #31671] + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ASCII + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK PLAIN TALKS ON AVOIDED SUBJECTS *** + + + + +Produced by Jana Srna and the Online Distributed +Proofreading Team at https://www.pgdp.net (This book was +produced from scanned images of public domain material +from the Google Print project.) + + + + + + + [ Transcriber's Note: + Every effort has been made to replicate this text as faithfully as + possible, including inconsistencies in spelling and hyphenation; + changes (corrections of spelling and punctuation) made to the + original text are listed at the end of this file. + ] + + + + + Plain Talks + on + Avoided Subjects. + + by + + Henry N. Guernsey, M. D., + + Ex-Professor of Obstetrics and Diseases of Women and Children in the + Homoeopathic Medical College of Penn'a; Ex-Professor of Materia + Medica and Institutes in the Hahnemann Medical College + of Philadelphia and Dean of the Faculty; Author of + Guernsey's Obstetrics, including the Disorders + peculiar to Women and Young Children; + Lectures on Materia Medica, &c. + + Honorary Member of the Hahnemannian Medical Institute of Phila- + delphia; of the Homoeopathic Medical Society of the State of New + York; of the Instituto Homeopatico, Mexicano; of the Hahn- + emannian Society of Madris de Tulio, Spain; Member of + the American Institute of Homoeopathy; Consulting + Physician to the West Philadelphia Homoeo- + pathic Hospital for Children, &c. &c. + + + PHILADELPHIA + F. A. DAVIS COMPANY, PUBLISHERS + 1905 + + + + + Copyrighted, 1882, + by + H. N. Guernsey. M. D. + + + + +This little volume is fervently and solemnly dedicated to its Mission. + +Those who conscientiously read and faithfully apply its teachings to +life, cannot fail to become wiser, better and happier members of the +Home circle and of Society at large. + + + + +PREFACE. + + +For many years I have wished that some able pen would place before the +community at large the knowledge contained in the following pages. Some +of this information has appeared from time to time in such books as +"Graham's Lectures on Chastity," "Todd's Students' Manual," and a few +popular works of a similar kind, which have been of immense service to +the human race in preserving chastity and in reclaiming the unchaste. +But all these are now inadequate to the growing demand for more light on +these vital topics. It has been too much the custom for everyone, +parents included, to shrink from instructing their own children, or +those entrusted to their care, on these points; consequently, many young +people _solely from their ignorance_ fall into the direst evils of a +sexual nature and are thereby much injured and sometimes wholly ruined +for life's important duties. + +An experience of forty years in my professional career has afforded me +thousands of opportunities for sympathizing with young men, and young +women too, who had unconsciously sunk into these very evils merely for +want of an able writer to place this whole subject truthfully and +squarely before them, or for some wise friend to perform the same kind +office verbally. The perusal of a work by Wm. Acton, M. R. C. S., of +London, on "The Functions and Disorders of the Reproductive Organs in +Childhood, Youth, Adult Age, and Advanced Life," has, by his purity of +sentiments, which have ever been identical with my own, both inspired +and emboldened me to write a work of similar import. But his is for the +profession while mine is for the profession and the laity, of both sexes +and of any age. May its perusal inspire the readers with a higher +appreciation of the matters herein treated, and with a greater effort to +reformatory measures everywhere. Whenever I advise the consulting of a +"judicious" (a term I use many times) physician, I mean one fully and +practically qualified, both by inherent qualities and education, for the +fullest confidence of his patients. + +I am indebted to my son, Joseph C. Guernsey, M. D., for assistance in +editing and carrying this work through the press. + + Henry N. Guernsey, M. D., + 1423 Chestnut St., Philad'a. + + June, 1882. + + + + +CONTENTS. + + + CHAPTER I. + Introductory, 13 + + CHAPTER II. + The Infant, 24 + + CHAPTER III. + Childhood, 27 + + CHAPTER IV. + Adolescence of the Male, 42 + + CHAPTER V. + Adolescence of the Female, 68 + + CHAPTER VI. + Marriage.--The Husband, 84 + + CHAPTER VII. + The Wife, 90 + + CHAPTER VIII. + Husband and Wife, 100 + + CHAPTER IX. + To the Unfortunate, 110 + + CHAPTER X. + Origin of the Sex, 117 + + + + +CHAPTER I. + +Introductory. + + +In the creation of the world and all that therein is, we should consider +it an axiom that "Everything was created for use." All individual +substances, or beings, that come to our notice bear certain relations to +one another, have connection one with another, and are dependent upon +and useful to each other; and nothing could possibly exist or subsist +without this co-relation: connection with and use to each other. This is +a law which needs only a little reflection to be accepted as a truth in +every particular--in the greatest as well as in the least created form. +This is more plainly seen in the animal kingdom than in the mineral or +vegetable, because its members associate and finally become conjoined in +pairs. Man and woman, who represent the crown and glory of all created +beings, in whom are embodied all the lower orders, were and are still +created to associate in pairs--each created for the other, the one to +help the other; the two to love and to belong to one another. This +principle, fully carried out, justifies and shows the necessity for the +creation of man and woman precisely as they are, having bodies, parts +and passions, will and understanding. It is my intention in the +following pages to explain the relations existing between the sexes, for +the purpose of showing that the greatest happiness to the human race +will be found in living a life in full accord with these relations. In +order that the subject may be fully understood, let us examine the +physical development of man and woman in detail, particularizing the +different organs of the body as they appear in their order of formation, +from the very inmost or beginning, to the ultimate or end, in their +respective natures. + +Ever since the primal creation of man and woman, the human race has been +perpetuated by a series of births. Children have been conceived in +harmony with the natural order of events, in such matters, and have been +born boys and girls. A boy is a boy to all intents and purposes from his +very conception, from the very earliest moment of his being; begotten by +his father he is a boy in embryo within the ovule of his mother. The +converse is true of the opposite sex. At this very early age of +reproduction the embryo has all the elements of the future man or +woman, mentally and physically, even before any form becomes apparent; +and so small is the human being at the earliest stage of its existence +that no material change is observable between the ovule that contains +the product of conception and a fully developed ovule unimpregnated.[A] + + [A] For fuller particulars see Guernsey's Obstetrics, 3d edition, + pages 79-89, inclusive. + +It is about twelve days after conception before the impregnated ovule, +which undergoes many changes during this time, makes its escape from the +ovary where it became impregnated and enters one of the Fallopian tubes, +thence gradually descending into the cavity of the womb. Here it begins +to mature and become fitted for its birth into the outer world. Soon now +the embryo (for such it is called at this early stage) begins to assume +form. The first indication of formation that it is possible to discover, +even by the help of the microscope, consists of an oblong figure, obtuse +at one extremity, swollen in the middle, blunt-pointed at the other +extremity. The rudimentary embryo is slightly curved forward, is of a +grayish white color, of a gelatinous consistence, from two to four lines +long and weighs one or two grains. A slight depression representing the +neck, enables us to distinguish the head; the body is marked by a +swollen centre, but there are as yet no traces of the extremities. So +much can be observed about the end of the third week after conception. + +At about the _fifth week_ the embryo presents more distinctions. The +head is very large in proportion to the rest of the body, the eyes are +represented by two black spots, and the upper extremities by small +protuberances on the sides of the trunk. The embryo at this stage is +nearly two-thirds of an inch in length and weighs about fifteen grains. +The lower extremities now begin to appear in the shape of two minute +rounded tubercles. Till about this time a straight artery has been +observed to beat with the regularity of the pulse; but now it appears +doubled somewhat into the shape of an adult heart, although as yet it +has but one auricle and one ventricle. As time advances we find the +perfect heart with its two ventricles and two auricles, all developed +from the original straight artery. At this period the lungs appear to +exist in five or six different lobes and we can barely distinguish the +bronchial tubes; about the same time the ears and face are distinctly +outlined, and after awhile the nose is also faintly and imperfectly +perceived. + +At about the _seventh week_ a little bony deposit is found in the lower +jaw. The kidneys now begin to be formed, and a little later the genital +organs. The embryo averages one inch in length. + +At _two months_ the rudiments of the extremities become more prominent. +The forearm and hand can be distinguished but not the arm above the +elbow; the hand is larger than the forearm, but is not supplied with +fingers. The sex cannot yet be determined. The length of the embryo is +from one inch and a half to two inches, and it weighs from three to five +drachms. The eyes are discernible, but still uncovered by the +rudimentary lids. The nose forms an obtuse eminence, the nostrils are +rounded and separated, the mouth is gaping and the epidermis can be +distinguished from the true skin. + +At _ten weeks_ the embryo is from one and a half to two and a half +inches long, and its weight is from one ounce to an ounce and a half, +the eyelids are more developed and descend in front of the eyes; the +mouth begins to be closed by the development of the lips. The walls of +the chest are more completely formed, so that it is no longer possible +to see the movements of the heart. The fingers become distinct and the +toes appear as small projections webbed together like a frog's foot. At +about this period the sexual organs show their development as follows: +On each side of the urinary locality an oblong fold becomes +distinguishable; in course of progress if these folds remain separate, a +little tubercle forms in the anterior commissure which becomes the +clitoris; the nymphae develop, the urethra forms between them, and the +female sex is determined. If, on the other hand, these folds unite into +a rounded projection the scrotum is formed, the little tubercle above +becomes the penis and hence the male sex. The testicles forming within +the body, descend later into the scrotum, and organs similar to them, +their counterparts, form in the female and are called ovaries. These +ovaries are found attached to an organ called the womb, and this again +is united with the vagina, which leads downwards and outwards between +the labia majora.[B] + + [B] For fuller particulars see Guernsey's Obstetrics. + +At the end of the _third month_ the weight of the embryo is from three +to four ounces and its length from four to five inches, the eyeballs are +seen through the lids, the pupils of the eyes are discernible, the +forehead, nose and lips can be clearly distinguished. The finger nails +resemble thin membranous plates, the skin shows more firmness, but is +still rosy-hued, thin and transparent. The sex can now be fully +determined. + +At the end of the _fourth month_ the product of conception is no longer +called an embryo, but a foetus. The body is from six to eight inches in +length and weighs six or seven ounces. A few little white hairs are seen +scattered over the scalp. The development of the face is still +imperfect. The eyes are now closed by their lids, the nostrils are +well-formed, the mouth is shut in by the lips and the sex is still more +sharply defined. The tongue may be observed far back in the mouth, and +the lower part of the face is rounded off by what a little later will be +a well-formed chin. The movements of the foetus are by this time plainly +felt by the mother, and if born at this time it may live several months. + +At the end of the _fifth month_ the body of the foetus is from seven to +nine inches long and weighs from eight to eleven ounces. The skin has a +fairer appearance and more consistence; the eyes can no longer be +distinguished through the lids, owing to the increased thickness of the +latter. The head, heart and kidneys are large and well developed. At the +end of the _sixth month_ the foetus is from eleven to twelve and a half +inches in length, and weighs about sixteen ounces, more or less. The +hair upon the scalp is thicker and longer, the eyes remain closed, and +very delicate hairs may be seen upon the margins of the eye-lids and +upon the eye-brows. The nails are solid, the scrotum small and empty, +the surface of the skin appears wrinkled but the dermis may be +distinguished from the epidermis. The liver is large and red, and the +gall-bladder contains fluid. + +At the end of the _seventh month_ the length of the foetus is from +twelve and a half to fourteen inches, its weight is about fifty-five +ounces, and it is both well defined and well proportioned in all its +parts. The bones of the cranium, hitherto quite flat, now appear a +little arched, and as the process of ossification goes on, the arching +increases till the vault is quite complete. The brain presents greater +firmness, and the eye-lids are opened. The skin is much firmer and red. +The gall-bladder contains bile. + +At the end of the _eighth month_ the foetus seems to thicken up rather +than to increase in length, since it is only from sixteen to eighteen +inches long while its weight increases from four to five pounds. The +skin is red, and characterized at this period by a fine downy covering, +over which is spread a quantity of thick viscous matter, called the +sebaceous coat, which has been forming since the latter part of the +fifth month. The lower jaw has now become as long as the upper one, and +in the male the left testicle may be found in the scrotum. Convolutions +appear in the brain structure. + +At _nine months_ the anxious time of parturition has arrived. The foetus +is from nineteen to twenty-three inches in length and weighs on an +average from six to eight pounds. Children at birth sometimes weigh as +much as fourteen pounds; but such extremes are very rare. At this period +the white and grey matter of the brain are distinct, and the +convolutions are well marked; the nails assume a horny consistence, hair +upon the head is more or less abundant, the testes are in the scrotum, +and the entire external genital organs of both male and female are well +formed. + +The above particulars respecting the development of the human being have +been narrated to show that one organ is just as important as another, +and that each is really dependent upon the other; no one could exist +without the other and all are to subserve a use. First must be the +_esse_ (the inmost) the vital force imparted to the ovule. A little +later certain changes take place in the ovule, later still other +changes, and finally about the fifteenth day a slight development of the +new human being can just be outlined by the help of the microscope, +which, as before stated, has form at about the third week after +conception. First the vestige of a head and body, a little later the +heart and lungs appear lying in the open chest; then the hands are +protruded from the sides of the trunk, afterwards the forearms, then the +arms, all pushed out from the body; the feet and legs gradually protrude +from the lower end of the trunk, and the chest closes up so that the +heart and lungs can no longer be seen; the face, mouth and eyes take +form, the external genital organs make their appearance in conjunction +with other developments, and in due course of time the boy or girl is +born ready for further developments in childhood, and adolescence. When +the latter development has been attained, if due care has been taken by +all interested parties, we have pure men and pure women fitted to enter +upon the privileges and the _uses_ of a wedded life according to the +design of our Creator. + +How wonderfully and how instructively are all organs in the animal body +disposed and arranged! In the highest place we find the brain to govern +and rule over all below. It is the first organ formed and in an orderly +life should control all the others. Next in order and importance are the +heart and lungs, which put into motion all other parts and enable the +animal frame to continue in motion. So each and every organ is developed +in its proper order, all to obey the commands of the first and most +important--the brain, the seat of the reason and the will. Happy are +they of either sex who will govern themselves by a pure enlightened +reason and a pure affectionate will. + + + + +CHAPTER II. + +The Infant. + +Embracing the First Year of the Child's Life. + + +The battle of life really begins as soon as the child is born. Its +cleanliness, its clothing, its temperature and its food are matters for +daily observance and care, as also are the light, sunshine and air which +it is to breathe. Opiates, soothing syrups and cordials, are to be +strictly avoided as being deleterious to health; proper sanitary +measures usually suffice to render all _dosing_ unnecessary. Spirituous +potions and lotions should be avoided as being contrary to the laws of +hygiene as well as for fear the child may learn to love and to become +addicted to their use later in life. Every organ of the body should be +carefully protected even at this early age, so that health may reign +supreme. Particular care and the utmost solicitude should be bestowed +upon the genital organs. No rubbing or handling of these parts should be +permitted under any pretense whatever--beyond what may be absolutely +necessary for cleanliness. The genital organs require just as much +watchful care, if not more, as the stomach, the eye, the ear, &c. I +regret to say that I have known some fathers to tickle the genital +organs of their infant boys until a complete erection of the little +penis ensued, which effect pleases the father as an evidence of a robust +boy. The evil effects of such a procedure are too manifest to require +dilating upon. Fathers take warning! + +Nurses are known to quiet young children by gently exciting pleasurable +sensations about the genital organs both of males and females--practices +which are the most vicious and vice-begetting that can possibly be +invented. Many a young man and young woman has fallen to very low depths +from influences developed by these and similar means. Nurses should be +cautioned in this matter _and carefully watched too_, as even the least +suspected may (innocently perhaps) be guilty of this fault to save +themselves the trouble of quieting their charges in a proper way. Early +impressions upon these animal passions, as well as those made upon other +senses of the young, are very abiding. Mothers be watchful! + +Great care should be exercised in the choice of a diaper for infants and +the material of which it is made. The diaper should fit easily about +the organs which it covers and protects, so as not to cause undue +heating or friction of the parts; and immediately after a babe has +soiled itself either with urine or from a motion of the bowels, it +should be made clean and dry at once to avoid any irritation that would +otherwise ensue upon these delicate parts. The material of which the +diaper is made should not be stiff or harsh, but very limp, soft and +pliable; nor should it be thick and bungling. There are great objections +to the use of oil-cloth, rubber or other impervious materials as they +prevent the escape of perspiration, urine, fecal matter, etc. As soon as +possible, say near the end of the first year, the child should be taught +to use its little chair-commode, thus dispensing with the diaper at an +early age. This is much better for the sexual organs, is more +comfortable for the child and is more healthy; it also favors a more +perfect development of the limbs and joints, the hip joints +particularly. + + + + +CHAPTER III. + +Childhood. + + +Childhood is that portion of life extending from infancy to adolescence, +which in boys occurs at the age of fourteen to sixteen years; and in +girls at the age of twelve to fourteen years. In very warm climates +adolescence is reached some two or three years earlier. + +Most fortunate the infant who has completed its term of life, thus far, +in accordance with the strictest rules of Hygiene, or the laws of +health. + +"In a state of health sexual impressions should never affect a child's +mind or body. All its vital energy should be employed in constructing +the growing frame, in storing up proper external impressions and in +educating the brain to receive them." Unfortunately this state of health +is not always attained. Impressions may be exhibited in these organs at +a very early age either from inheritance, from improper handling or from +some morbid condition of the child that could show itself in no other +organ of the body and which, like morbid conditions in general, make +their appearance somewhere in the mind or body. + +SEXUAL PRECOCITY.--Many parents who are most particular in all other +respects, as to the moral and physical training of their children, +imagine there is no need to pay any special attention to the genital +organs. This, however, is a grave mistake and needs our careful +consideration. As is well known, some children evince a sexual precocity +which may lead to very serious results. In these it often happens that +the sexual instinct arises long before puberty; such children, if males, +manifest an instinctive attraction towards the female sex which they +show by constantly spying after their nurses, chambermaids, etc.; by +seeking as much as possible to play with children of the opposite sex +and improperly toying with them. [C]"One case is so remarkable that an +abstract of it may be instructive: M. D----, between five and six years +of age, was one day in summer in the room of a dressmaker who lived in +the family; this girl thinking that she might put herself at ease before +such a child, threw herself on her bed, almost without clothing. The +little D---- had followed all her motions and regarded her figure with a +greedy eye. He approached her on the bed, as if to sleep, but soon +became so bold in his behavior that the girl, after having laughed at +him for some time was obliged to put him out of the room. This girl's +simple imprudence produced such an impression on the child that forty +years afterwards he had not forgotten a single circumstance connected +with it." + + [C] Lallemand and Wilson, page 140. + +Parents are remarkably careless on this point. They allow children to +play together for hours at a time without the surveillance of an older +person, provided only they are removed from any danger. It is sufficient +to merely draw attention to such a custom as every reflective mind can +easily draw the inevitable consequences. Habits are indulged in and +marks of familiarity shown which should not for an instant be tolerated. + +CAUSES which commonly produce sexual impressions on young children are, +allowing them to repose playfully on their belly, to slide down +bannisters, to go too long without urinating, constipation or straining +at stool, cutaneous affections, and worms. Also, thoughtless acts of +elder people which are very frequently more closely observed than is +commonly supposed. The sliding down bannisters produces a titillation +which is agreeable to the sexual organs. Children of both sexes will +constantly repeat this act until they learn to become inveterate +masturbators, even at a very early age. + +Among boys a disease called _priapism_ is often developed; this arises +from undue handling of the parts, or from some morbid state of the +child's health. The disorder consists of paroxysms, occurring more or +less frequently, of violent erections of the penis; these sometimes +become very painful and require the attention of a physician. At all +events medical aid should be sought at once, because some functional +derangement is at work which might, if not arrested and cured, give rise +to masturbation. Owing to unknown causes such morbid conditions induce +some little boys to pull frequently at the foreskin of the penis until +their health is seriously impaired; they pine away, lose flesh, and +still continue to worry at the foreskin, till death has been known to +result. These cases require the most careful and skillful constitutional +treatment, until they are cured. + +Sometimes, in other cases, the foreskin becomes inflamed, offensive +secretions may form about the end of the penis, etc. All such disorders +should be submitted to a judicious physician at once, to avoid +irritations which might result in a tendency to sexual excitement--a +calamity truly deplorable to the young. The idea which some writers +advance--that a long prepuce (or foreskin) often proves an exciting +cause of troublesome sensations to the boy, is certainly erroneous. So, +too, it is all wrong to state that particular care should be taken to +wash under the prepuce. That this objection in regard to washing is +true, is proved from the physical fact that in a large majority of boys +the orifice of the foreskin is not sufficiently opened to permit of +these washings. And the objection is still further proved by the fact +that all these unnatural secretions, offensive odors, sensations, etc., +which irritate and worry a boy together with all inflammations of these +parts are soon relieved and permanently cured by the proper medicament. +Needless laving, handling or rubbing the sexual parts should be avoided +as strictly as possible. To show how little good such washings really +do, even though persisted in, I will mention one out of many similar +cases: "In spite of repeated washings every day, a fetid smegma was +deposited in considerable quantity on the glans, causing a tiresome +burning and itching." All such cases are utterly intractable by any +amount of bathing. But the suitable remedy administered internally cures +the trouble permanently in a few weeks and at the same time improves +the general tone and health of the individual. This is so because the +proper remedy removes the morbific cause which produced that condition +of the penis and all concomitant symptoms, at the same time. It must be +remembered that the troubles referred to above come from within, and +that they are but developments of internal morbific causes. In a similar +manner, small pox, measles, chicken pox and all eruptive diseases come +_out_ as products from morbific causes _within_. No sane person ever +thinks of washing off these appearances with the hope of curing the +case! + +All our external parts were made just as they should be and they work in +harmony so long as we are perfectly healthy inwardly. Every blemish upon +the skin, even to a wart, has a corresponding morbid influence within, +which can be removed by proper treatment. Let it be remembered then for +all coming time that a little boy's penis is never to be meddled or +trifled with, nor his foreskin, nor the parts about the generative +organs. All unnatural conditions, appearances or sensations require +prompt and proper medical aid. If erections of his little penis occur +during sleep, or if he cannot urinate promptly on rising in the +morning, because of an erection, let these conditions beget an anxiety +for his welfare and at once seek a judicious physician, who will be able +to prescribe a medicament to arrest all further development of sexual +precocity--an affliction so baneful to the young. + +A little later in life children are liable to ascarides or seat worms, +called by some "pin worms." No applications, purgatives, "vermifuges," +injections or other mechanical means should ever be employed to remove +these, as they are of constitutional origin and should be so treated, +until perfectly cured. Removing the worms by irritants or by mechanical +means does not remove the _cause_ of their existence or reproduction in +the body. The dyscrasia that gives rise to these worms, with the +accompanying itching and tickling, is apt to cause a sexual excitement +which may prove more disastrous than the original trouble itself. +Therefore be sure that this affection is treated constitutionally; so +long as the vital forces work in harmonious order, no abnormal +appearances of any kind can come to light, because they do not exist. + +From the age of nine to fourteen, boys generally acquire very curious +notions about sexual affairs and are naturally, from what they hear, +desirous of obtaining some idea of sexual congress, a knowledge of +where babies come from, etc. This curiosity, of course, causes the mind +to dwell much upon sexual subjects. I fully believe that good +information will, by satisfying this curiosity, free the mind to a great +extent from sexual thoughts. It is from such very thoughts that boys are +led to play with their sexual organs in secret, and to handle them so as +to excite pleasurable sensations; erections of the penis are thus +produced and finally, by this continual excitation with the hand, the +height of sexual orgasm is reached, ejaculation of semen occurs and +_self-pollution_ is the consequence. This act is called "masturbation" +and becomes a _secret vice of the worst kind_! + +Very frequently and to an alarming extent "masturbation" is taught by +older boys, and by young men even, in nearly all our colleges, boarding, +public and private schools, and by companions under the paternal roof. +This act is repeated time after time until the degrading and destructive +(morally and physically so) habit is confirmed. As a result, the boy +grows thin, pale, morose and passionate; then weak, indolent and +indifferent; his digestion becomes impaired, his sleep short, disturbed +and broken; he sometimes becomes epileptic or falls into a state of +marasmus; in any case he is in great danger of being totally ruined +forever. + +There is a great difference in boys regarding the formation of these +habits. While some may almost insensibly glide into them, others, +intuitively as it were, turn away from all such temptations and banish +all thoughts of a sexual nature from their minds at once. This is right. +So long as a boy's mind refuses to harbor such baleful approaches, so +long he is safe; but the moment he heeds them and allows them to enter +his mind, that moment he is in danger and will most likely fall into bad +habits. He must strenuously resist all such thoughts and going to his +father or mother tell them about his trials and temptations and strive +to forget them until success crowns his efforts. By persistent efforts, +by repeated prayers to the Lord for help, by reading his Bible and good, +pure stories, by running into the open air and indulging in some useful +occupation or joyous, healthful play, he will eventually conquer them +and thus rise to the dignity of a true man. Sometimes, too, it may be +necessary to consult the physician for help. In addition to the +instinctive shrinking which every right minded person generally feels +from putting ideas of impurity into a child's innocent mind, a parent's +pride leads him to hope that _his_ boy would not indulge in any such +mean and disgusting practices. But, bearing in mind the advice of +Herbert Spencer--"that the aim of discipline should be to produce a +_self-governing_ being," the best advice a parent or guardian can, and +ought, to give, is: do not harbor bad thoughts or feelings about +anything; at once turn them away and think of something else, of +something good, true and pure. Indulge in no hatred or revengeful +feelings towards others; plot no evil things; always be true to your +word, faithful to your duties and charitable to all. Treat everybody +kindly and politely. And further, a child should be _taught_ what +"chastity" really is, instead of leaving him to find it out as best he +may. + +It should be clearly explained to him that true chastity requires the +shunning of all indecency and foul language; that he should refrain from +touching his secret parts except when the necessities of nature require +it; that all sexual emotions should be subjugated. When he grows older +every boy should be taught that chastity means continence; and it should +be firmly impressed upon his mind that all lascivious actions are a +drain upon his whole system and weaken the powers which the Lord has +given him to be employed _only_ in the married state. These are +characteristics of a true man and will help him very much to keep out of +sexual difficulties which, as we shall see further on, are among the +greatest curses of life. + +The use of tobacco, wine, coffee or tea by children is well known to be +highly injurious. Never allow a child to use either of these--not even +in small quantities. A too common practice in many families is to allow +a little wine at dinner "to assist digestion!" Others allow coffee or +tea, "because my child is so fond of it." "The after-effects of all +these is to disturb the heart, to cause nervousness and irritability, +and _to weaken the sexual organs in a marked degree_. Tobacco +particularly has this last effect in old and young, besides producing +convulsions, a dulled intellect, etc."[D] + + [D] Lallemand and Wilson. + +Remember where the brain is and the purposes for which it has been +given! Here reside the knowledge and the power to govern all below it. +No matter what the stomach craves or how strongly the appetite begs for +this or that; no matter how much one may be tempted to steal, to lie or +to swear; no matter how much the sexual organs may lead one to think +about or handle them--here is the great and good brain, the home of the +will-power, which says: "Touch not, taste not, handle not." So long as +these commands are listened to and obeyed, one is safe. The desire need +not and should not control the act--but the rational faculty can and +will control, when early taught to do so. The more one is led by this +rational faculty the easier it becomes to follow it, and _vice versa_. + +What has been said above regarding the danger of little boys falling +into bad habits applies with equal force to little girls. Do not forget +this. They too may have sexual thoughts, feelings and curiosity, and +care must be taken to keep their minds pure and bodies healthy. They are +also liable to disorders that require prompt and careful attention, such +as inflammations, excoriations, itchings and swellings of the genital +organs with discharges from these parts resembling leucorrhoea. All such +conditions lead them to more or less rub and scratch these parts--which +should never be touched--for relief. Pleasurable sensations are +experienced and then comes masturbation--_a sin chargeable to the +parent_ for not having given the matter proper medical attention. +"Repeated washings" will no more cure these cases in little girls than, +as shown above, will they cure in little boys. All these are but the +outcropping of some constitutional affection and should be treated +accordingly. No applications or medicated washings of any kind should be +allowed. Such external treatment only palliates the suffering for a +little while without removing the disordered vital force that gave +origin to its appearance. This is simply repressed and may react upon +the child and appear in another form tenfold worse than the first. The +passing of urine or fecal matter may (in either sex) cause irritation +and excoriation; this is another sign that all is not right in the vital +forces and should be mentioned to the physician as a sure index that +medical treatment, but not topical applications, is absolutely +necessary. All abnormal appearances, actions and discomforts of the +child, whether mental or physical, should be submitted to an experienced +and judicious physician. A healthy child should be happy and comfortable +in all respects. + +A very successful plan for keeping children from vice or vicious habits +is to see that their time is fully occupied with amusements and duties +which interest them. They need a great deal of harmlessly conducted +amusement and--do _not_ strive to "keep them quiet." Allow little boys +and girls to play together, under proper surveillance, and let them be +boisterous if they will; let them romp and run, climb fences, trundle +hoops, jump rope, go to dancing school, participate in military drills, +go coasting and skating, take swimming lessons, etc. + +No judicious parents will allow a son or daughter to be alone much; to +seek to be alone is always a bad sign and should be carefully guarded +against without its being known that such precaution is observed. +Furnish them liberally with instructive and innocent story books and let +them read aloud to you or to each other. Take them to walk or ride when +you go, and strive to make companions of them as much as possible, +making whatever sacrifices are necessary to attain this end. Above all, +_encourage their making confidants of you_. Let them feel that they can +come and talk freely on any subject, no matter what its nature may be. +Do this, and you have thrown around them a bulwark of defence that will +withstand the repeated attacks of hosts of evil spirits. When night +comes and they go to bed, let them learn to go to sleep at once; no play +then--they may be read to sleep, but no romping or playing. No strange +children should be allowed to sleep with yours; make them occupy +separate rooms or at least separate beds; be sure that the sleeping +places of your children are sacred to them alone. Nor is it advisable +for children to sleep with a grown person of either sex and particularly +not with servants--all for obvious reasons. + +The observance of all these precautions against influences that might +excite sexual disturbance is most sacred in its character and most +needful even in a religious point of view; for there should be +_chastity_ above all things. + + + + +CHAPTER IV. + +ADOLESCENCE OF THE MALE. + + +Adolescence of the male embraces the period of life from the age of +fourteen or sixteen years to the age of twenty-five. + +At about the age of fourteen years "the period of youth is distinguished +by that advance in the evolution of the generative apparatus in both +sexes, and by that acquirement of its power of functional activity, +which constitutes the state of _Puberty_." At this age the following +great changes take place in the general appearance and deportment of the +male: His frame becomes more angular and the masculine proportions more +pronounced; increased strength and greater powers of endurance are +manifested; the larynx enlarges and the voice becomes lower in pitch as +well as rougher and more powerful; new feelings and desires awaken in +the mind. His deportment becomes more commanding, his frivolity is less +and less apparent, and the boy is lost in the man. If he has been so +fortunate as to escape all the dangers and baneful influences of +childhood, he is manly indeed, and we behold him with an unburdened +conscience, bright intellect, frank address and good memory. His spirits +are buoyant and his complexion clear; every function of his body is well +performed, and no fatigue is felt after moderate exertion. He evinces +that elasticity of body, and that happy control of himself and his +feelings, which are indicative of the robust health and absence of care +which should accompany youth. His time is devoted to his studies, duties +and amusements; as he feels his stature increase, and his intellect +enlarge, he gladly prepares for his coming struggle with the world. + +All boys may come to this condition with proper training through the +period of infancy and childhood; and after arriving at the adolescent +age of their existence as they have the power of mind to _choose_, so +also have they the power to _refuse_. The human race is created above +the animal so that we are something more than mere animals; we are human +beings with human propensities, human passions, human desires and human +tastes, which are subject to the human brain, to the human reason and to +the human will--all elevated and ennobled by the Divine Will. Man must +not let himself down to be governed by animal passions; the moment he +does that, his higher powers suffer and become weakened, and he becomes +more like an inferior animal; if he persists in this downward course, +his lower powers become strengthened until finally they transcend and +rule the higher. Then, to all intents and purposes, such a man's head is +downwards and the lower part of his body is upwards just where his head +ought to be. + +Man is a human being, yet, like the whole animal kingdom, he has +appetites, desires and passions, as it is absolutely necessary that he +should have. He has organs corresponding to these appetites, desires and +passions, and it is necessary that he should have them. A proper +understanding in regard to this matter will convince anyone of the truth +of this assertion. Our Creator doeth all things wisely and well, in the +most perfect manner possible. Consequently, man with all his organs, +parts and passions is just what he should be when he blossoms into +youth, in the perfection of his adolescence as described above. In fact +there could be no other form of creating man, for the Lord always +creates in the most perfect way possible, according to one harmonious +law which He has ordained to govern the creation of all beings. + +Such a man is fully prepared to struggle with himself and the world at +large. In his desires, appetites or passions of any kind, he, in his +humanity, protected by his rational faculties and enlightened by the +Divine Oracle of God, unquestionably has the power to choose between +propriety and impropriety, between the right and the wrong, between the +good and the bad. Take any evil into which a member of the human family +may fall--the love of ardent spirit for instance; he first thinks of it +and desires to partake of some. Finally he takes an opportunity to +gratify his desire, does satisfy it for the time and thinks it very +nice. The next craving is a little more intense, and he cannot overcome +the temptation quite so easily as he could have done before, and at last +he indulges again. So he goes on, step by step, until he may fall very +low. _The same thinking, feeling and desiring precedes the adoption of +every vicious habit that was ever formed._ Nor will anyone pretend to +say that a persistent effort of the will power, at the very outset, when +he first perceived the tendencies of his desires to do what he need not +do, would not have prevented the evil; no argumentation will prevail in +the face of stubborn facts, and the real facts are all on the side of +purity and order. + +These very young men or youths, as they progress through adolescence, +may become tempted in a variety of ways, some to the use of ardent +spirits or tobacco, others to lie, to steal, to forge, &c.; but the +approach to all these evils is gradual and first comes through the mind. +They first think about the action, turn it over and over in their minds +until they come to greatly desire and then, later, to commit the evil +which would not have been ultimated if the mind had been persistently +set against it in the beginning. This is an indisputable fact. + +In this manner many promising youths, just as they are blossoming into +the pride of early manhood, begin to indulge in sexual thoughts and to +allow these thoughts to influence their minds until they commit some of +the evils to which perverted and unchaste passions lead them. If this +evil be masturbation, then they are on the direct road to ruin, as will +be seen described further on. If it be the commission of sexual +intercourse with women, their ruin is still more certain, and in the +latter case they are exposed to one of the worst poisons that can +possibly infect the human race. I do not overdraw the picture when I +declare that _millions of human beings die annually from the effects of +poison contracted in this way_, in some form of suffering or another; +for, by insinuating its effects into and poisoning the whole man, it +complicates various disorders and renders them incurable. When +gonorrhoea is contracted, although frequently suppressed by local +treatment in the form of injections, it is never perfectly cured +thereby. No; the hidden poison runs on for a life time producing +strictures, dysuria, gleet and kindred diseases; finally, in old men, a +horrible prostatitis results from which the balance of one's life is +rendered miserable indeed. If inflammation of the lungs supervenes, +there is often a translation of the virus to these vital organs, causing +what is termed "plastic pneumonia," where one lobule after another +becomes gradually sealed up, till nearly the whole of both lungs becomes +impervious to air, and death results from asphyxia. + +This horrible infection sometimes becomes engrafted upon other acute +diseases when lingering disorders follow, causing years of misery, and +only terminating in death. + +If real syphilis, in the form of chancre, should be contracted, and in +that form suppressed, we have buboes often of a malignant type, +ulceration of the penis and a loss of some portion of this member. +Sometimes the poison attacks the throat, causing most destructive +ulcerations therein; sometimes it seizes upon the nasal bones, resulting +in their entire destruction and an awful disfiguration of the face; +sometimes it ultimates itself in the ulceration and destruction of other +osseous tissues in different portions of the body. Living examples of +these facts are too frequently witnessed in the streets of any large +city. Young men marrying with the slightest taint of this poison in the +blood will surely transmit the disease to their children. Thousands of +abortions transpire every year from this cause alone, the poison being +so destructive as to kill the child _in utero_, before it is matured for +birth; and even if the child be born alive, it is liable to break down +with the most loathsome disorders of some kind and to die during +dentition; the few that survive this period are short lived and are +unhealthy so long as they do live. The very first unchaste connection of +a man with a woman may be attended with a contamination entailing upon +him a life of suffering and even death itself. There is no safety among +impure or loose women whether in private homes or in the very best +regulated houses of ill-fame; even in Paris, where, after women have +been carefully examined and pronounced free from any infecting +condition, the first man who visits one of them, often carries away a +deadly enemy in his blood, which had lurked in concealment beyond the +keen eye of the inspector. A young man, or a man at any age, is in far +greater danger amidst company of this stamp, than he would be with a +clear conscience and pure character in the midst of the wildest forest, +full of all manner of poisonous serpents and wild beasts of every +description. A knowledge of the above facts should be enough to chill +the first impulse and to make any man who respects his own well-being, +turn away and flee from the destruction that awaits him. + +As if the above sufferings were not a sufficient penalty for the +transgression against the law--"Be ye pure," we find yet another. +Coincident with the physical wreck, which syphilis makes of the man who +becomes thoroughly tainted with its poison, comes his moral wreck. He +loses all respect for the truth and all regard for his word; no +dependence of any kind can be placed upon him, and he will not pay his +debts or fulfil any moral obligation; all because he began by +prostituting his mind more and more until, with deadened conscience, +almost literally, his head is dependent and his feet uppermost, ruling +all the better part of his nature. And next come the mental +sufferings--and most agonizing they are. Unhappy to the last degree, he +no longer takes pleasure in life, but, wishing to die, finally commits +suicide. A search in any insane asylum will show that a very large +proportion of patients are made up from those who masturbate or have +syphilis. Stamp out these two evils, or rather _curses_ of the human +race, and the supply that feeds our insane asylums, aye and our +penitentiaries, too, will become vastly lessened. Think of it! So many +of the inhabitants of our prisons, asylums, and our poor-houses, are +composed of men and women who have offended against nature's laws by +violating their own sexual nature. Add to this summary the list of +broken-hearted, deflowered virgins and unwedded mothers, and you have +the picture complete. + +What a contrast with that manliness of character from which he has +fallen! Now he is in an insane condition, blaming everyone for having +contributed to his many misfortunes and his fallen condition, whereas he +alone is the culprit. No one made him commit the first or any subsequent +evil. He allowed his own mind to yield to the first temptation, and then +went on from step to step, he alone being responsible for the result +Yield not the first point, and all is safe. + +The pride of perfect adolescence, as described a few pages back, is due +to purity of thought, to chastity and continence. This purity shines +through every tissue, enkindles the eye with a true expression, makes +bright the countenance and erects the form. It gives elasticity to the +step, causes harmony in the tones of the voice, and adds dignity to the +carriage and deportment. The first step in the paths of vice in any +form, whether in sexual errors or any other, detracts in the exact +degree of the digression from all of the above beautiful and ennobling +characteristics. + +We have spoken in the preceding pages of new feelings and desires being +awakened in the youth after his fourteenth year. This change is wholly +due to his approaching manhood, to the time when he will be fully +prepared to appreciate, to love and protect, guide and support her whom +he makes his wife, and to become the father of happy and healthy +children. But this approach to manhood is not due to the development of +the genital organs, as some writers affirm, for this would be a +reversion of orderly development. The approaching manhood develops in +full accordance to their uses and importance _all_ the organs belonging +to man. As the well-developed infant has all its organs developed in a +condition suitable for its state, and the child has all its organs in +all parts of the body, developed in full accord with its state, so +adolescence follows, and every organ must develop accordingly; and in +this development a new impetus is given to every organ in the body. The +whole man awakens to a newness of life as is seen in the change of his +voice, the spreading out of his frame, the independence and command of +his bearing, the activity of his brain, the soundness of his judgment, +until he becomes in the fullest sense a rational being. Of course the +development of his genital organs keeps pace with that of his brain; but +the brain should lead the way throughout the entire development of the +human race. + +At the time of puberty, then, a new and a different sensation springs up +in the generative organs, which is in perfect harmony with the uses for +which they are intended. We recognize the use of the hands, the fingers, +the feet, the eyes, the ears, the sense of taste, &c., and we use them +accordingly. We should think of the generative organs only in the same +light. They are intended for use, for the highest and holiest use of +procreating human beings to the end that they may become angels in +heaven. These organs were not made to be abused; but they are abused +every time the mind is allowed to dwell upon them improperly. Every +excitation we allow from lewd thoughts or fancies, has a debasing and +deteriorating effect upon that well-developed form, upon that conscience +so free, and upon that countenance so open and bright, which has been +described in the preceding pages. + +If the mere thought and excitation arising therefrom are injurious to +the perfection of the youth, how much more injurious must be the +ultimation of that thought in masturbation, in unlawful sexual +intercourse, or in the loss of seminal fluid by other unnatural means. + +Right here I feel impelled to say something of the + + DIFFICULTY OF MAINTAINING CHASTITY. + +I, in connection with many of our best and wisest men who have given +the subject a lifetime's most earnest consideration, hold that for a +young man whose early education has been carefully looked to, and +consequently, whose mind has not been debased by vile practices, it is +no more impossible mentally, or injurious physically, to preserve his +chastity than to refrain from yielding to any other of the innumerable +temptations with which his life is beset. And every year of voluntary +chastity renders the task easier by mere force of habit. I wish to be +clearly understood in this matter. + +So long as a young man remains chaste in thought and deed, he will not +suffer any bad effects from his continence. It is the _semicontinent_, +the man who knows the right but pursues the wrong, who suffers! Patients +frequently complain that enforced continence makes them restless, +irritable, unfit for mental application of any sort, &c. Sexual +intercourse is then indulged in, and presto: for the time being, what a +welcome change. The now unclogged mind grasps with vigor any subject +presented to it, the spirits are exuberant and the physical frame +buoyant. But, is the trouble cured, is it permanently eradicated from +the system? No! In a short time the symptoms reappear and the same +remedy is again sought. The more the sexual feelings are indulged the +more frequent will be their recurrence, and the result need not be +written; every candid mind can easily see it. To their shame and +confusion be it said, there are many physicians who, when consulted by +their patients for medical assistance in such trials, "deliberately +encourage the early indulgence of the passions, on the false and wicked +ground that self-restraint is incompatible with health. What abhorrence +can be too deep for a doctrine so destructive, or for the teachers who +thus, before the eyes of those whose youthful ignorance, whose sore +natural temptation, rather call for the wisest and tenderest guidance +and encouragement, put darkness for light, evil for good, and bitter for +sweet."[E] + + [E] Wm. Acton, M. R. C. S. + +I declare emphatically that no symptoms of sexual suffering, no matter +how feelingly described or cunningly insinuated, should ever lead a +physician to prescribe for a young man that fatal remedy, illicit +intercourse. Medically as a physician, morally as a Christian, and +sympathizingly as a fellow being, I record a solemn protest against such +false treatment. It is better for a youth to live a continent life. The +strictly chaste suffer comparatively little sexual irritability; but the +incontinent, at recurring periods are sure to be troubled in one or +other of the ways spoken of; and the remedy of indulgence, if effective, +requires repetition as often as the inconvenience returns. No! When thus +consulted, let the physician prescribe the proper medicament, if one be +necessary; and let him direct a plain, nourishing, non-stimulating diet, +physical exertion of any kind carried to exhaustion, and SELF CONTROL. + +Would any young man in his senses listen to a physician, who, for +lowness of spirits, mental despondency, &c., should tell him to drink +plentifully of brandy or eat hasheesh? On the same principle then let a +youth shun the physician, who, for sexual excitement, prescribes sexual +indulgence. + +Again, such complaints coming from young men are very often specious, +and are mere subterfuges--overdrawn pictures of their sufferings--which +are presented as an excuse for indulging the sensual emotions, instead +of manfully and righteously struggling to overcome them. And further, +"if anyone wishes to really experience the acutest sexual suffering, he +can adopt no more certain method than to be incontinent with the +intention of becoming continent again, when he has 'sown his wild oats.' +The agony of breaking off a habit which so rapidly entwines itself with +every fibre of the human frame (as sexual indulgence) is such that it +would not be too much to say in the Wise Man's words, '_None_ that go to +her return again, neither take they hold on the paths of life.'" + + "The sin, of all, most sure to blight-- + The sin, of all, that the soul's light + Is soonest lost, extinguished in." + +Remember then that sexual suffering comes to the _incontinent_ man, and +that it is far easier, even for the fully developed vigorous adult, to +continue in control of these feelings, than when they have been once +excited and indulged. + +One single impure connection may entail a whole life of syphilitic +suffering on the unhappy transgressor. Would this "pay?" + +No inducement could persuade me to assume the awful responsibilities of +advising illicit intercourse. Apart from Christian principle, I know +that there is no necessity, physiological, pathological or any other, +that can excuse any physician for saying that the Seventh Commandment +may ever be broken. My sentiments on the physiological side of the +question are so admirably expressed by Acton,[F] that I will here quote +from him. + + [F] Fourth American Edition, P. 97. + +"One argument in favor of incontinence deserves special notice, as it +purports to be founded on physiology. I have been consulted by persons +who feared, or professed to fear, that if the organs were not exercised +regularly, they would become atrophied, or that in some way impotence +might be the result of chastity. This is the assigned reason for +committing fornication. There exists _no greater_ error than this, or +one more opposed to physiological truth. In the first place, I may state +that I have, after many years' experience, never seen a single instance +of atrophy of the generative organs from this cause. I have, it is true, +met with the complaint--but in what class of cases does it occur? It +arises in all instances from the exactly opposite cause--abuse: the +organs become worn out, and hence arises atrophy. Physiologically +considered, it is not a fact that the power of secreting semen is +annihilated in well-formed adults leading a healthy life and yet +remaining continent. The function goes on in the organ always, from +puberty to old age. Semen is secreted sometimes slowly, sometimes +quickly, and very frequently under the influence of the will. No +continent man need be deterred by this apocryphal fear of atrophy of the +testes from living a chaste life. It is a device of the unchaste--a lame +excuse for their own incontinence, unfounded on any physiological law. +The testes will take care that their action is not interfered with." + +Many and many a time have I heard it regretted and bemoaned, on account +of the many troubles they had seemed to cause, that the sexual organs +exist. It is the lewd thoughts and uses to which they are put that +causes all this misery, and there is always that "first thought" which +should not be harbored. Cast away the impure thoughts, rise above them, +and one is safe! Pure thoughts can _never_ lead to harm. + +The generative organs, with their functions and uses, are most closely +interwoven with the highest destiny and well being of the race +physically, mentally and spiritually; they are a part of us, without +which there would be no men and women, lovers and loved ones, fathers +and mothers, brothers and sisters. We must then happily accept the +situation as it is, and our bodies, parts and passions as they are; for +they are all indispensable, high and holy, when kept in an orderly and +chaste condition. We only need the above knowledge and its application +to make ourselves as happy in the enjoyment of these organs as it was +designed by our Creator that we should be. + +To rise above the sexual temptations that may be more or less +experienced by many and perhaps by all, requires an effort of course, +and frequently a very great effort; but let it be borne in mind that +all temptations to do wrong, require effort to overcome them; and as a +rule, the greater the evil we are tempted to commit the greater is the +effort needed to overcome it. Now, as shown above, since sexual matters +are so thoroughly interwoven with the highest destinies of the human +race, physically, mentally and spiritually, there is scarcely any +function of higher import, allotted to any individual, than that +assigned to the genital organs. No function more deeply concerns the +healthfulness of the body, the clearness and brilliancy of the +intellect, or the purity and sincerity of the soul itself. + +Several times in the course of this book I have referred to the term +"abuse." By "abuse," I mean precisely what _Lallemand_ so forcibly +expresses as follows: "_I understand by the term abuse, when applied to +the organs of generation, any irregular or premature exercise of their +functions; any application of them which cannot have, as its result, the +propagation of the species._" + +Look at the habitual masturbator! See how thin, pale and haggard he +appears; how his eyes are sunken; how long and cadaverous is his cast of +countenance; how irritable he is and how sluggish, mentally and +physically; how afraid he is to meet the eye of his fellows; feel his +damp and chilling hand, so characteristic of great vital exhaustion. +Taken as a class, how terrible are their lost virility, their miserable +night's sleep, their convulsions and their shrunken limbs. They keep by +themselves, seeking charm in solitude and are fit companions for no one; +they dare not read their Bible, they cannot commune with good angels nor +with the Lord, our Saviour. Is not this picture deplorable? It is at the +last end of the chain I admit, but it is reached link after link, one at +a time; and the first link was forged when the first temptation in the +mind was first favored and finally yielded to. The above picture is a +true one and shows how intimately connected are the soul, the mind and +the body with this whole subject. Man in a healthy state need not and +should not lose one drop of seminal fluid by his own hand, by nightly +emissions or pollutions, or in any way, until he becomes conjoined to a +wife of his choice in the holy bonds of matrimony. Every time the seed +of his body is lost in a disorderly or unnatural way, he injures the +finest textures of his brain correspondingly, as well as the finest and +most exalted condition of his mind and soul, because the act proceeds in +its incipiency from a willful prostitution of these higher powers. + +When sexual thoughts and temptations arise in one's mind, even very +young men are capable of putting them away, urged by the thought that +tampering with one's generative organs is wrong. He should intuitively +feel that it is something akin to theft, or a crime of some worse sort, +for him to indulge in solitary vice and he should intuitively feel an +inward reproach for all such meditations. When one is sorely tempted in +these matters, as is often the case, let him reflect that he was not +created to indulge in such pleasures by himself, and that to do so is a +crime, a sin against the God of Heaven; that it is his destiny, his +privilege and one of the uses of his life to share such enjoyments with +the wife of his bosom; and that all excitement or dallying with this +part of his nature before marriage only serves to weaken his sexual +powers, as well as his mind and body; also, that it mars his sexual uses +and will detract from his sexual pleasures in the married life. Sexual +indulgence of any sort in a young man is a loss, not only to himself but +also, prospectively, to that dear girl whom he will some day make his +wife. Such reflections will often drive away the temptation entirely. If +they are not sufficient to do so let him read some interesting book that +shall take his mind away from the subject; or, that failing, let him +take exercise, vigorous exercise--pushed to fatigue, if necessary. If +these states of temptation occur in bed at night, let him rise and read, +plunge his arm into very cold water, or if necessary go forth into the +open air and seek relief in a rapid walk. It is better to go to any +amount of trouble and to endure any physical discomfort, than to +sacrifice one's chastity, the loss of which can never be replaced. + +A young man naturally desires and expects chastity of the strictest +order in the young woman of his choice for a wife. Who would marry a +girl, no matter how beautiful or how many and varied her accomplishments +if it were known that she had granted her favors to any other man? And +yet, what less has _she_ a perfect right to require from a young man who +presumes to pay his addresses to her? This consideration, too, should +serve as a restraint to any amorous desires that might infest a man's +mind. It is wonderful how keen are the perceptions of a pure minded +young lady to detect even an approach to licentiousness in the male. He +is abhorrent to her and his very sphere betrays him. + +With the facts of the preceding pages, contained in this chapter being +known, it does seem as if every man would keep himself pure from all +carnal associations and use the utmost care not to prostitute his mind, +that he may approach the nuptial altar as pure in mind and body as he +would have her who is to become the idol of his heart. + +Now this is all very beautiful in theory and desirable in practice, but +_is it practical_? Can man so school himself in self denial as to +accomplish this end? Are there not real physiological facts existing +which utterly preclude the possibility of this most desirable result? Do +not, as has been alleged by some writers, the testicles of man secrete +semen until they become so surcharged that emission becomes absolutely +necessary, and does not this accumulation actually produce such sexual +excitement that man feels compelled to seek relief in some way? I +answer, most unhesitatingly, NO! The above questions are all theories +and utterly devoid of fact. + +Would Almighty God command, "Thou shalt _not_ commit adultery," and then +so create man as to compel him to break his Divine injunction? + +Abundance of proof is at hand to substantiate this sweeping remark of +mine, were this the place to produce it. Seminal fluid is abundantly +secreted and produced only during the height of sexual excitement in the +male. As Acton remarks: "It is a highly organized fluid requiring the +expenditure of much vital force in its elaboration and its expulsion." +It is secreted from the blood of his body and the whole man physically, +mentally and spiritually is concerned and represented in its product; +consequently the action requires an effort of the whole man, and, if +often repeated, the effect is very exhausting to the physical powers, to +the mind and to the brain. Let this be another warning to remain in +purity of heart. + +We have said in the preceding pages that man, in a healthy state, need +not lose a drop of seminal fluid until after marriage. There are many +abnormal causes resulting in what are called wet dreams, nightly +pollutions, spermatorrhoea, prostatic emission during stool or +urination, also diurnal emissions without erection. These may result +from over study, from errors in diet such as use of coffee, highly +seasoned food, wines, spirituous liquors or drugs of various +kinds--though perhaps prescribed by a physician. When these troubles +arise from constitutional disorders, a skillful physician must be +consulted at once. Errors in diet and the taking of drugs causing this +trouble must of course be discontinued. [G]"Certain medicines--as +astringents, purgatives, narcotics, stimulants and diuretics +especially--may bring on conditions from which spermatorrhoea may +arise." Among other causes Lallemand refers to the use of quinine, +tobacco and, particularly _alcohol_. The trouble may also arise from +injuries and many other accidental causes, besides masturbation and +venereal excesses. + + [G] Lallemand and Wilson, page 192. + +It is distressing to see what a complete wreck seminal losses make of +those who were once robust and healthy young men, and what a shock they +give to the nervous system. They become weak, pale, and feeble in mind, +while all that was manly and vigorous has gone out of them. Now which of +the two is preferable--the pride of a virtuous youth, or the roue +exhausted and worn out by sexual abuses? It demands great strength to +become either, but really a much greater effort for the latter; because +it requires very great perseverance for a chaste and pure minded man to +debase himself by such practices. It depends on the mind which is all +right before yielding the first point; therefore beware and shun the +first step downward. Strengthen the moral courage and exercise the will +power so as always to be able to say, "No," to whatever temptation the +conscience tells you is wrong. + + + + +CHAPTER V. + +Adolescence of the Female. + + +Adolescence of the female embraces the period of life from the age of +twelve or fourteen, to twenty-one years. + +At about the twelfth or fourteenth year of the girl's life a marked +change comes over her form, features and mental state. Unlike the male, +the forms which in him are angular, become in her rounded, symmetrical +and beautiful, and the characteristic feminine proportions are well +marked; she becomes more graceful in her movements, her voice grows +sweeter, more mellow, more powerful and capable of registering a higher +tone. New feelings and desires are awakened in her mind. Her deportment +becomes more commanding and less frivolous, and the girl is lost in the +woman. + +If she has been so fortunate as to have escaped all the dangers and +baneful influences of infantile and childhood life, she is womanly +indeed, and we behold her with an unburdened conscience, clear +intellect, artless and candid address, good memory, buoyant spirits, +a complexion bright, clear and, as the poet declares, "beautiful +exceedingly." Every function of her body is well performed, and no +fatigue is experienced after moderate exertion. She evinces that +elasticity of spirit and gracefulness of body, and happy control of her +feelings which indicate healthfulness of both mind and body. Her whole +time is given up to her studies, duties and amusements; and as she feels +her stature increase and her intellect enlarge, she gladly prepares for +her coming struggle with the world--though in a manner becoming to her +sex. This, too, is no fanciful sketch, but is realized in thousands of +cases every year. It is one which parents feel proud to witness in a +daughter, and one in which the daughter takes a modest delight. We have +said that every function of her body is well performed. The functions of +the female body, which in a state of health are perfectly free from +pain, are very numerous and, in the four years from fourteen to +eighteen, she accomplishes an amount of physiological cell change and +growth which Nature does not require of a boy in less than twice that +number of years. It is obvious, therefore, that a girl upon whom Nature, +for a limited period and for a definite purpose, imposes so great a +physiological task, will not have as much power left for the tasks of +school as a boy, of whom Nature requires less at the corresponding +epoch. The functions of circulation, respiration, digestion, +perspiration, nutrition and menstruation, though involuntary, are all +important, dependent one upon another, and all develop at the proper +time. Puberty is the proper time for the appearance of menstruation, one +of the most important and sacred of her functions. It should not be +feared, dreaded or regarded as a nuisance; it forms a part of herself; +and she never commands the respect and forbearance of her friends, or +even of her enemies, more than when it is known that she is "unwell." It +serves in many ways as a blessing to her, rather than an inconvenience. +Let no young girl be alarmed, as, owing to the negligence of her parents +or guardians, many are, at the first appearance of this flow of blood +from the genital organs. She should keep more quiet than usual, at these +times, until the flow disappears, which it will do in a few days. In a +state of health these appearances occur every twenty-eight days and the +young lady should exercise extreme caution at such times, in avoiding +unnecessary fatigue, exposure to cold, getting wet, suddenly cooling off +when heated, etc. One of the reasons why so many suffer at this time is +due to the want of proper knowledge and care, also for the want of a +proper feeling about the matter. I have known young ladies to be guilty +of the almost incredible crime of trying to arrest the flow by plugging +up the vagina and by resorting to other means, that they might attend a +dancing party or some pleasure excursion. Such a procedure is sure to be +followed by the direst retribution to the offender. Nature never allows +her laws to be so trifled with. Some experience a deep mortification on +account of this function; some think it a very great inconvenience and a +nuisance--an obstacle to their pleasure; others feel unhappy and vexed +about it. In truth, every woman should consider it a privilege and +should regard menstruation as it really is, a blessing from heaven; and, +when rightly performed, a help to lend loveliness to her character, +beauty to her expression, music to her voice, and gracefulness to her +form and movements. + +Mothers or guardians should instruct young girls in good time as to the +expected menstrual function and prepare their minds for its advent. They +should also be carefully instructed in regard to the external use of +water--of its attendant danger, lest they chill themselves sufficiently +to arrest this flow, which should continue uninterruptedly until the +function is complete. Too many lives have been sacrificed by suppressing +the monthly flux; external ablutions should be plentiful, but only +sufficient, as in the case of boys, for cleanliness. If menstruation +should not become healthfully established at the proper time of age, +consult a judicious physician who will see that any abnormal condition, +preventing such consummation, is properly removed. "The principal organs +of elimination, common to both sexes, are the bowels, kidneys, lungs and +skin. A neglect of their functions is punished in each alike. To woman +is intrusted the exclusive management of another process of elimination, +viz.: the catamenial function. This, using the blood for its channel of +operation, performs, like the blood, double duty. It is necessary to +ovulation, and to the integrity of every part of the reproductive +apparatus; it also serves as a means of elimination for the blood +itself. A careless management of this function, at any period of life +during its existence, is apt to be followed by consequences that may be +serious; but a neglect of it during the epoch of development, that is, +from the age of fourteen to eighteen or twenty, not only produces great +evil at the time of the neglect, but leaves a large legacy of evil to +the future. The system is then peculiarly susceptible; and disturbances +of the delicate mechanism we are considering, induced during the +catamenial weeks of that critical age by constrained positions, muscular +effort, brain work, and all forms of mental and physical excitement, +germinate a host of ills."[H] + + [H] Clarke: "Sex in Education." + +Here I must be allowed to protest most solemnly against the use of +injections into the vagina for the so-called purpose of cleanliness. +Vaginal syringes are constructed and used now by thousands and the +sufferings of the human race are increased thereby ten thousand fold +proportionately. The vagina, like all organs supplied with a mucous +membrane, is self-cleansing. Water, or any other fluid thrown into this +organ, has a tendency to disorder the mucous follicles, to dry up their +secretions and thus prevent the efflux of some of Nature's necessities. +From this cause alone there will be a reaction upon the vaginal walls, +upon the neck of the uterus and the uterus itself; the ovaries also +become disordered; the lungs sympathize as well as the throat and +bronchial tubes, producing hoarseness, hacking cough and a host of +troubles following in their train. Nervous headaches of fearful +intensity are frequently produced from this unnatural course of +procedure. Moreover, water thrown into the vagina, to wash it out, day +after day for a considerable time, absolutely produces a leucorrhoea +most persistent in character. This is the confession of young ladies to +me in making inquiry as to the origin of their trouble, and I have found +that the discharge was unknown to some of them till after the use of +these injections. It stands to reason that such unnatural washings +should be followed by a retribution equal to the error committed, +because, as before stated, Nature's laws cannot be perverted without a +penalty. A girl should never, under any pretext whatever, resort to such +unhallowed means for the cure or alleviation of leucorrhoea, ulceration, +or for any disorders that affect these parts. By so doing she is really +forming a basis for innumerable future ills. If the girl is well, she +has none of these disorders, for they all arise from constitutional +derangements. As all must acknowledge, it is a self-evident fact--that, +_if a woman is well, every part of her must be well also_; no one organ +can, unaided, get up a disease by itself. In all troubles of this +nature, as well as of any other, consult a judicious physician. + +There are objections, however, of even a graver nature than those urged +above against the use of such instruments. They often excite sensations +in the parts to which they are applied, that should remain perfectly +dormant in the unmarried state. After awhile these sensations, +increasing in frequency and influence, serve to prostitute the mind and +the young lady may become ruined for life. I am stating facts that can +be proved by multitudes of living witnesses to-day in cases and +confessions that have come under my own observation. On remonstrating +against this habit, some remark, "But it feels so nice, doctor!" Of +course, ablutions of the _external_ organs are perfectly right and +proper and should be resorted to daily. To the reflecting mind no more +need be said about this matter. Those who wish to live in harmony with +the order of their creation and thereby preserve the freshness of +health, will not have recourse to such means as add new derangements to +the system. + +To preserve feminine charms as the girl develops into womanhood, much +depends upon her mental state. She must not allow herself to bear malice +towards anyone, must not plot evil or attempt to "pay off others in +their own coin," as it is called, or seek revenge in any way; but she +must ever cultivate a forgiving disposition, good thoughts and good +feelings towards everyone. There is always danger of meeting both rude +and lewd girls, and that too in places where least expected; they may be +found in schools of all kinds and are occasionally met with in the +houses of one's own friends. Not very long since a charming young lady +wrote me from a neighboring city, that while sharing a bed with another +girl, she experienced a very strange sensation induced by the improper +liberties of her bed-fellow; and so persistent were these troublesome +sensations, although occupying a bed by herself ever after, she thought +it proper to seek my advice. Now this was a good and pure-minded girl +who might easily have been ruined but for her inherent love of chastity; +and so our daughters are always in danger of being contaminated. A +perfectly pure and chaste mind, unsullied by impure thoughts or acts, +and cultivated by the exercise of all the Christian virtues, lends +enchantment to the eye, sweetness of expression to the face, music to +the voice, and gracefulness of carriage. Cultivation of merely external +manners will not do; they must spring from the mind and thence they +shine throughout the whole, in every fibre and movement of the body. +Such an one is truly beloved wherever she goes; she has a real affection +for her father and mother, brothers and sisters; and she is fully +prepared to appreciate and love one of the opposite sex whose purity of +life and nobleness of mind fully corresponds to her own. + +To retain this charm of excellence will cost her many a trial and her +temptations will be innumerable and very great. But her perceptive +faculties are keen, and at the first suspicion of anything wrong she +must have the moral courage to say: "No! that is not allowable, it is +not right," or, "this is impure and its tendency is to vice." Whatever +the temptation may be, in thought or in deed, let no one persuade her +into wrong-doing--not even her _apparently_ best friend; for it would +only be an appearance of friendship if he tempted to anything of a +vicious nature. She will be beset with hosts of admirers, some of them +pure and having honorable intentions; but (I am sorry to sound the note +of warning here,) others will come with the most dishonorable intentions +possible, though with an air of sincerity, and apparently as artless as +doves. Study all men long and carefully, keeping them meanwhile at a +respectful distance; never allow one to sit near with his arm about your +waist or to hold your hand in his; never allow him to kiss you--_the +vilest of loathsome diseases may be communicated by a kiss_ viz.: +_syphilis_. Do not allow any approach or touch beyond what is customary +in the best of society at a social gathering. Many a young lady with an +angelic form and spotless soul within, full of the best intentions and +of the purest character, giving bright promise of a brilliant future, +has been ruined for life by trusting herself alone with some of these +apparently wise and good, yet really vile men. + +Young women have not, as a rule, any sexual propensity, or amorous +thoughts or feelings. If they have been properly educated and cared for, +they are, before marriage, perfect strangers to any such sensations; and +yet any young lady who falls, does so by her own hand and she has no one +else to blame for it. _Remember_ that the Lord, in the beginning, never +suffers temptations beyond one's strength to overcome. If she falls +ultimately, it results from allowing an impure seed to be planted in the +mind at first, which she then nourishes for a time and only in the end +it bears its fruit. + +As time passes, a young lady forms an acquaintance with gentlemen, and +at length she favors the addresses of one who is particularly agreeable +to her. After this acquaintance has ripened into love, and she has +become convinced of the purity of his heart, she enjoys being with him, +in sitting by his side, and is unhappy in his absence. When betrothed, +owing to her great and pure love for him, she takes pleasure in +receiving such marks of affection from him as are shown by a tender +father or brother, but nothing more. After marriage, she feels that she +is really his and that he has become a part of herself--that they are no +more twain but are one flesh. All this has transpired without her hardly +suspecting such a quality in herself as an amorous affection. Still she +more than ever loves him, more than ever desires to be near him until +finally their union is fully and truly consummated by the marriage act. +At no time in her life does a woman make a greater sacrifice of her +feelings than at this time, and she does it solely for her pure and +fervent love for him. This is right and proper, and is in accordance +with the laws of order in the creation of the two sexes in the human, +animal and vegetable kingdoms throughout the world. + +I wish here to have some "Plain Talk," that the true object of this book +may be more fully understood and its mission more successfully +accomplished. Unless willing to make the above sacrifice, no woman +should ever marry; because she would not then be fulfilling the +marriage covenant. Besides, she would be false to her husband and this +falsity might cause his moral and physical destruction; his health would +suffer and his manhood become dethroned, because her conduct would +utterly controvert the immutable laws of nature. Nature's laws cannot +possibly be set aside without the infliction of a severe penalty. The +healthy young woman will have no difficulty in preserving her chastity +intact, so long as she cultivates that purity of mind to which she is +naturally prone. She should never allow herself to read immoral stories +or books having in the slightest degree even, such a tendency; +theatrical plays with loose morals should also be avoided, and light, +silly novels are very pernicious to the imaginative mind of the young. +On the other hand useful reading stores the mind with high and noble +thoughts, whence spring good and useful deeds. + +Unfortunately there are a variety of morbid conditions to which the +female is liable, so that sexual desires arise in spite of every effort +to keep aloof from them--even though there is not the slightest guilt in +mental or bodily transgression. These are owing to disordered conditions +of the sexual system, just as other disorderly desires arise, and are +often _inherited_--remember this all parents!--or they may be caused by +some morbific influences, as are other diseased conditions of the body. +Many a time have I had pure-minded young ladies apply to me for medical +aid in these matters, confessing that they had impure thoughts which +they knew were wrong, but of which they could not rid themselves. In +such cases there are physical symptoms of some kind that incite these +thoughts and feelings. The proper medical and hygienic treatment always +restores order in such functional derangements and the sexual +disturbances of the mind disappear. I have repeatedly cured nymphomania +by curing physical, or constitutional symptoms. In one case which came +under my care, nymphomania appeared in a married woman in the seventh +month of her pregnancy, and so fearfully did her mania rage that it +threw her into convulsions. Her physical and sensational symptoms led me +to the choice of the medicine that cured her, so that she was happily +delivered of a fine, healthy child at full term and no trace of the +disease has ever appeared since. Too often young women err and give way +to such feelings in resorting to _self-abuse_ for relief, or to the +caresses of the opposite sex, when they are ruined forever. It is never +safe to temporize or to tamper in this way with such sensations. Women +have heads and brains, as well as men, and rational faculties, too. +Every digression allowed, only paves the way for others, with less and +less resistance, and more and more ruinous results. Let a judicious +physician be consulted at once in all cases where a morbid condition +seems to excite immoral thoughts and sensations. + +The effects of self-abuse upon woman, is as disastrous as masturbation +upon males. A few hours after its commission, or the next day at +furthest, she feels languid and dragged out, sleepy, unfit for reading +anything solid, or studying, and unfit for social enjoyment with others; +she looks pale and haggard; often she feels giddy, particularly when +rising in the morning, with many other discomforts too numerous to +mention here. And is it true that some young ladies, the sweetest and +fairest of our race, play with one another in an immodest and indecent +way, teaching immorality to the pure and innocent? I fear it is, I +_know_ it is. Such things need not, must not, and will not be tolerated. +This little book will go about in all classes of society confirming and +strengthening the pure in heart in their purity and enlightening the +ignorant who will joyfully hail the good news; all will join hands in +one popular cry against indecencies and indulgences of an impure nature; +and the vilest man even will be taught to fear and respect the combined +world of chaste female influence. So it must be and eventually will be; +but woman, naturally pure and lovely woman! the greatest part of this +work must be done by you. + + + + +CHAPTER VI. + +Marriage. + +The Husband. + + +"And JEHOVAH GOD said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I +will make him a help meet for him. * * * * And JEHOVAH GOD brought the +woman unto the man. And the man said, This is now bone of my bones and +flesh of my flesh. Therefore shall a man leave his father and his +mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one +flesh."--Gen. ii. 18, 22-24. + +"The marriage of one man with one woman is therefore designed in our +very creation by Him who made us. The love which brings them together +and binds them together, flows into their minds from the Divine Love, +from the love which has operated hitherto, and which now operates, in +creating and forming a Heaven of human beings." + +All young men, on arriving at the age of twenty-five, other +circumstances being favorable, should conform to the laws of Divine +order and marry. "Whom shall we marry? Young ladies now-a-days require +such an outfit and it costs so much to support a wife in the style she +wishes to live, or has been accustomed to, that, to say nothing of the +extra expense of children, we cannot afford to marry." This is a wrong +view to take, because pomp, style and show _are not the true objects of +marriage_! The married state is a duty and a great privilege, while its +uses are of the highest possible order physically, mentally and +spiritually. The love which brings the two together and which should +bind them together, requires only a comfortable home of respectable +appearance. Young married people should begin like young married people; +it is more orderly and more conducive to the welfare and true happiness +of each that, as time passes on, they build up their fortunes together, +each helping the other--thus affording new charms that no other course +will or can yield. + +In the choice of a wife, a man should especially seek _congeniality_. He +should make the acquaintance of a young lady living and moving in the +same sphere of life as his own, such as is congenial to his tastes; he +should see her in company with other young people and observe how she +treats them; and particularly notice how she acts towards her father +and mother, brothers and sisters: for a good daughter and sister always +makes a good wife. Study closely her character, her mental discipline, +her tastes in reading and her mode of life generally. Above all, note +her disposition as to selfishness, whether she be determined and bent +upon having her own way in everything, or whether she is yielding and +thoughtful of the comfort and happiness of her associates. Remember that +in the married state there must be a mutual yielding to each other, +though not the sinking of the wife's identity, so that the combined life +of the two may become one harmonious whole. Observe what she thinks of +children and get her opinion as to how they should be brought up and +educated. Be sure that she is one who can be loved most tenderly, one +for whom a man can make any sacrifice in reason for her sake--for whom +one can deny himself any comfort, any and every passion, brave any +danger, and conquer every difficulty in his power, to make her life +happy and useful. One quality: Is she strictly virtuous? Is she chastity +itself in thought, word and deed? If you, young man, have been the same, +if you have held yourself in by "bit and bridle," as it were,--then, if +she reciprocates your love, you are at liberty to propose marriage to +her. + +Before marriage, a young man takes great pains to make himself +attractive, is very attentive and polite, keeps up a genteel appearance +and is civility itself, that he may woo and win the young lady most +nearly approaching his ideal of feminine perfection, and the one most +nearly suited to his tastes and congeniality. After marriage he feels +that she is his, that she has pledged herself to this effect; and the +law has so decided; she is his, as he is hers, irrevocably. Now, young +man, do you mean to be loyal, to be her real husband until death +dissolves the allegiance? Then let nothing cool your ardor. Be as +watchful as when you were her wooer and even more so. Let nothing induce +you to swerve from your duty, to violate your vow or to betray your +trust. But ever be faithful and true. So may you be accounted worthy of +her choice as a husband and worthy to be enrolled among the respected +and honored fathers in our land. Heavier responsibilities rest upon you +now than before marriage. Your wife must be protected, supported and +cared for in every possible way, and you need to be even more careful to +retain her love than you were to win it. You are under heavy +responsibilities to your relatives and the community in which you live, +that your united lives bear such fruit as will be to all a delight. +Together, in your unity, you form as it were a tree; your united lives +throw out branches and leaves, buds and blossoms, and finally fruit in +its season; and every tree is known by its fruit. Bearing in mind the +high duties to which as a husband and a father you are called, seek not +to live for carnal pleasures. You have struggled manfully with yourself +and the world and have come up to this stage of your life pure and +uncontaminated; and that love which brought you two together, now flows +into your united lives from the Divine Love. Let that love continually +operate through you unitedly in creating new human beings who shall +ultimately serve to swell the grand army of the Angelic hosts in Heaven. + +Some well-meaning and otherwise apparently good husbands, but not true, +form habits of staying from their homes during their leisure hours, +particularly in the evenings. They visit club houses, billiard rooms or +other places of amusement, leaving their wives at home. Such absences +distress a wife greatly, though her love often restrains any expression +of disapproval. These habits increase, she suffers more and more, loses +sleep on his account and her health fails. The husband's dissipations +grow upon him--all such desertions are dissipations when they become +habitual--until he loses all relish for the company of his faithful wife +and for the caresses of his young and lovely children, until finally to +stay at home a single evening is a restraint and unhappiness to him. +Where now is the plighted faith! Where now is the tree, its branches and +leaves with their buds and blossoms, and what is the fruit? Where now is +that pure love which he promised when they became united and which +should forever bind them together, and who has almost severed that love? +Has not the little that remains become merely carnal, on his part at +least? Where is that union of mind and communion of soul that lifts one +above sensualism; and without which, sensualism is the only link and +quality left to keep the two together, until death dissolves the union? + + + + +CHAPTER VII. + +Marriage [continued]. + +The Wife. + + +Young ladies, why do you marry? Through infancy, childhood and +adolescence you have been watched over most tenderly and cared for most +lovingly; you have been protected and educated, and have been made as +happy under the paternal roof as circumstances would allow; and this +very book has been written largely on _your_ account. It has been the +custom from time immemorial, as it always will be, for girls to complete +their education and then to marry. But alas! how very few seem to +realize what married life really is and what will be expected in it; +what its duties and responsibilities are, or even what leads to +marriage. But to the question why do you even think of getting married? +The answer is, "Because it is inherent in the mind of every true female +character. It was ordained of God in her creation, spiritually, +mentally, and physically--from her inmost being to her complete +ultimation. It was in the very design of her creation that she should +love and be loved, that she should be sought after by the male sex, and +that she should become a wife and mother." + +First, let us understand what "marriage" signifies. The word itself +has the same meaning as the Latin word _conjugium_ and represents +a conjunction or union together. Carried out to its higher or more +interior meaning, marriage signifies the joining of good and truth--the +"good" being represented by the woman and "truth" being represented by +the man. Hence it denotes the spiritual conjunction of minds, and thence +of bodies, in contradistinction to the merely natural conjunction or +joining together of bodies only. So, to secure a real marriage, there +must be a spiritual conjunction of minds; and the conjunction of bodies +in wedlock is simply the ultimation, or manifestation of spiritual +principles in marriage. + +The true reason why girls marry is because they have an innate principle +of love for the male sex; and this love is drawn from the Lord above. +Consequently, it is pure, chaste, and when fully developed, very +powerful. In connection with this principle comes the desire to be +sought after and loved by a man of congenial character for whose dear +sake a woman is induced to leave father and mother, brothers and +sisters, to become the wife of him whom she can claim as her own dear +husband. This Heaven-born principle is what leads and induces the female +to assent to the marriage relation. For her own sake, for his sake as +well as for the sake of all parties concerned, this step should be taken +very carefully and only after mature consideration. Once married, there +is no escape from its lifelong duties and responsibilities. She must +yield to him whatever the marriage vow allows, that she may become a +_wife_ in the fullest sense of the term. Marriage is a sacred relation, +instituted by God Himself, and the sexual approach which follows between +husband and wife, is a special avowal of their relation to each other; +and so often as it is repeated it is a renewal of their obligations to +be faithful to each other. All sexuality is in the order of creation +and, coming from the Lord, serves for high and holy purposes. It was +_never_ intended for mere carnal pleasure; as such, it is the +profanation and perversion of a great boon to the human race. The man or +woman who perverts it must and will, sooner or later, suffer a penalty +equal to the transgression. + +The husband rightfully expects to find in his wife, as a seal of the +marriage covenant, his greatest possible delight. It should be her +greatest delight to give him that pleasure; and if she loves her husband +according to her avowal, she will not fail to do this. The feeling, each +of the other's nearness--in thought, word and act, as though each one +were intertwined with the other in the most complete union, is a very +great delight; even indescribably great. The sexual act itself is really +a type of the perfect harmony in which the married pair should dwell +throughout their lives. It teaches a mutual yielding so that the +honeymoon, rising so beautifully and lovingly, may continue to wax +lighter and brighter and its fullness be attained in this world only at +the dissolution, by a natural death, of a union so orderly and happily +formed. It is in the very nature of the male to seek his mate; it is an +inborn principle for him to do so, and his health, even his life, +certainly his moral life, often depends upon an orderly and lawful +indulgence of what this inherent principle demands. The greatest +longevity and the best health are found among fathers and mothers; +thereby proving that orderly and well-regulated sexual intercourse is +just as necessary to the married couple as are the functional demands of +all other organs of the body. From the foregoing it may be plainly +inferred, that, if the wife of a chaste young man who has duly guarded +himself from his childhood up, until he has sought and wedded his mate, +fails to reciprocate cheerfully and pleasantly in the seal of connubial +affection, she proves a bitter disappointment to him. Not that he is +carnal, gross or beastly, no! The principle given him by his Creator and +residing in his pure and inmost soul has been violated by her in whom he +placed his life's confidence; she has proved _false_ to him in this +particular, one upon which their present and eternal welfare so largely +depends. Young ladies about to marry should be taught to understand this +matter most fully, in all its bearings. If they pervert marriage in +false practices, the love of God, conjugal love, and the love of +infants, the three holiest and noblest inspirations of life, perish +together. No woman then should ever marry without a full knowledge of +her duties to her husband, particularly in the sexual respect; for +without granting this privilege to her husband in full and free accord, +there _cannot_ be maintained a happy married life. + +_The duties of marriage_, as a topic, embrace a vast field of thought; +and there is _so much_ to say thereon, so much advice to tender, so many +absolute commands to enjoin, so many warnings to utter, that it is with +difficulty I restrain myself from launching out diffusely in an attempt +to give the most important of these. But to so specifically particularize +is not the purpose of this book. Enough is said herein, I trust, to set +the reflective mind to thinking seriously on these matters and thereby +to awaken the conscience to a full sense of its duties. Quite too many +cases have come under my observation where the marriage vow has never +been consummated or, if consummated at all, in a very begrudging manner, +owing to the insubordination of the wife. Consequently dissatisfaction, +unhappiness and frequently a permanent separation follows, bringing +disgrace upon the family and scandal to their circle of friends. This is +not only wrong, but it is a most unpardonable vice. Sexuality has been +ordained by God in his wisdom as the means of creation. It exists +throughout all nature, in every tree, plant and shrub, in every animal +and insect; in every bird that flies, in every fish that swims, in every +man and woman. The very best and purest of husbands and wives, all the +world over, indulge in sexuality to their united satisfaction, in full +acknowledgment that it is of God and from God. Every wife who is +unreasonable or derelict in this _duty_ is untrue to her husband and +commits a sin against the God of Heaven and earth. Since, then, +sexuality is so evidently of Divine appointment, it should be committed +entirely to him in its effects.[I] + + [I] See "In Health." By Dr. A. J. Ingersoll, Corning, N. Y. + +If at any time the act prove fruitful and a child be born, it should be +considered as a great blessing and gift from God Himself. What is more +beautiful than to see a married couple engaged in rearing a new human +being destined to become an angel in Heaven! For this indeed is the +prime object of sexuality and of the marriage covenant. As has been well +said, life on earth is Heaven's seminary. And yet, so many wives, to +their shame be it said, use preventives to conception, thus attempting +to controvert the order of Nature and Nature's God; this is one of the +greatest crimes of the present age and vengeance will surely be taken on +every transgressor in this sacred matter. Such practice is secret vice +which little by little wears upon the inmost vital principle until the +perpetrators of such wrongs suffer untold misery in their physical +nature--often not even suspecting the cause of such sufferings. + +"But there is yet another reason, and a very strong moral one, why the +wife should not remain childless. There can be no question that the +blood of the father mingles with that of the mother through the medium +of the child _in utero_. (Hence the transmission of blood-diseases from +husband to wife.) Hence the indelible impressions made upon a wife by +the father of her offspring--impressions, both mental and physical, +which by character or resemblance she often transmits to her children by +a second husband. Now, * * * * may not this account for the similarity +of character and identity of tastes, and, indeed, for that wonderful +personal resemblance, which sometimes develops between husband and wife? +And does not this requisite alone fulfil the Divine interpretation of +marriage, that 'they are no more twain but one flesh?'"[J] + + [J] Wm. Goodell, M. D., "Lessons in Gynecology," P. 442. + +After marriage a new order of life is entered upon by the wife, and her +family matters should subordinate all other schemes and projects of her +future existence. Her main thought and study should now be, "How can I +best fulfil these new duties and responsibilities? First, my dear +husband! how can I be a true help-meet to him? Here we two are to be +one, a new _punctum saliens_, and every act of ours will bear the image +of our united lives. No matter what may happen, I will be true to my +matrimonial vow and to my God; for I am in His hands and my dear +husband's." A married life begun in this way, with such resolutions +sincerely and studiously kept, will secure a life full of happiness and +privileges beyond the fondest hope and expectation. When pregnancy +occurs, just as soon as the fact be suspected, the little embryo should +be regarded as already a member of the family. Every act of each parent +should now be performed in some degree with reference to the forth-coming +infant. The mother's thoughts particularly should be directed to it as +much as possible whilst performing the uses of life. She should read +much that is elevating and ennobling in character as this serves a good +purpose in producing a more perfect, more healthy and more brilliant +child. Let her read such books as "Elements of Character" by Miss +Chandler; "Growth of the Mind" by S. Reed; "Sex in Education" by E. H. +Clarke, M. D.; also, "Wear and Tear" by S. Weir Mitchell, M. D.; and any +other books of like character. Do not forget that the education of the +child begins _in utero_. + +During gestation the mother should subsist as far as possible upon +fruit, vegetables and a farinaceous diet--always plain and without +spices. Plenty of active exercise is indispensable and the use of a +"Health Lift" will be found most beneficial. When the nine months are +completed, under care of a competent physician, the birth of the child +will be accomplished with but comparatively little pain, and its +attendant dangers and difficulties will be greatly lessened. + + + + +CHAPTER VIII. + +Marriage [concluded]. + +Husband and Wife. + + +To preserve the marriage vow inviolate, the same pure love that brought +the two together should be cultivated by home uses and home amusements +such as readings, games, conversation, etc. If the wife have needle +work, let the husband read or talk to her; if he be a literary man, let +her presence cheer him on and inspire him to nobler and more refined +productions. What was done during courtship that made time pass so +rapidly and so pleasantly? Was every topic so discussed and used up that +nothing is now left for an exchange of views? Is carnal pleasure to be +the only binding tie? Such a life is not very pure and only a poor use +can be made of it. Topics of interest to a married pair should be +innumerable and their pleasures inexhaustible. Home is the soil in which +the tree is to grow; and the richer the soil, the better for the tree, +and the more numerous will be the branches, all of them vigorously +developing buds and leaves, blossoms and fruit, which will be most +fragrant, beautiful and useful. When amusement outside of home is sought +let it be, as far as possible, of a nature that both may enjoy it +equally. + +Husband and Wife! He, being of larger mould in every particular, in +head, chest, and all the vital organs, is the provider, the protector, +the guardian of his home; he, the masculine, or representative of the +Truth, is to lead the way in conducting home or business affairs. She, +the feminine, or representative of the Good, inclines to the good way +continually; and, as married partners, Good and Truth should be married +in them. There cannot be a true evil way nor a good false way; there can +only be a true good way and a good true way. So the wife, the good, must +conjoin herself to her husband, the truth, in order that every truth may +result in good; and the husband, the truth, should seek to be conjoined +to the wife, the good, that every good may become true. In this there is +much wisdom: if the husband be truly wise he will always be sure that +all his projects are tempered with good; while if the wife be truly +good, all her doings will be enlightened by truth. As hand in hand they +thus go through life's planning and doing, the husband will always be +assisted by his good, the wife; and the wife will be led on in good by +her truth, the husband. By taking this high and holy ground, there will +be experienced pleasure and happiness by the married couple, far +transcending all other modes of life in existence. Then will each and +every organ in the body be seen to have a fitness, a place, and a use +which could not possibly be dispensed with, because, each and all these +organs have an originating cause in the mental and spiritual parts of +mankind, from which they proceed and from which they exist. Thus we see +how wrong, how frightfully wrong it is to abuse, or pervert the use of, +_any_ of these physical organs which are so sacred and so important to +the welfare of the human family. "Dishonor the body, the temple of the +soul, and you dishonor the soul." "If any man defile the temple of God, +him will God destroy."--I. Cor. 3:17. + +When married, the battle for one united and harmonious life really +begins. The wife's great and supreme love for her husband personally, +will allow many privileges which under other circumstances her timidity +and chastity would refuse. Tenderly and with great consideration should +these privileges be accepted. For, contrary to the opinion of many men, +there is no sexual passion on the part of the bride that induces her to +grant such liberties. Then how exquisitely gentle and how forbearing +should be the bridegroom's deportment on such occasions! Sometimes such +a shock is administered to her sensibilities that she does not recover +from it for years; and in consequence of this shock, rudely or +thoughtlessly administered, she forms a deeply rooted antipathy against +the very act which is the bond and seal of a truly happy married life. +These sexual unions serve to bring the married pair into a perfectly +harmonious relation to each other. And just as tenderly, lovingly and +harmoniously should they join in each and all the daily uses of life +which they are called upon to perform. The sexual relation is among the +most important uses of married life; it vivifies the affections for each +other, as nothing else in this world can, and is a powerful reminder of +their mutual obligations to one another and to the community in which +they live. Indulgence, however, should not be too frequent, lest it +debilitate the pair and undermine their health. The bridegroom and +husband should carefully watch over his bride and wife to see that she +is not a sufferer and should govern himself accordingly. It is better +that these renewed obligations should be made at stated periods, as man +is governed so much by habit. As a rule, once or twice a week, or in +some cases once in two weeks, is sufficient; but once a week will +suffice in many cases for healthful purposes. During the menstrual flow +there should be an entire cessation of the conjugal act. When pregnancy +occurs it is in most cases, more healthful and better for the expectant +mother to allow intercourse at regular times, very gently, throughout +her gestation. + +The object of marriage is the ultimation of that love which brings the +two together and binds them together, in the procreation and rearing of +children for Heaven. This is the only true aim and sole object about +which every earthly desire, interest and plan of the married pair should +cluster. + +_As to the question of child-bearing._ No greater crime in the sight +of Heaven exists to-day than that of perverting the natural uses of +marriage. This is done in a great variety of ways, every one of which +is criminal, in whatever form practised; and none will escape the +penalty--no, not one. Nature's laws are inexorable; every transgression +thereof is surely punished, even at the _climacteric period_, if not +before. The questions of failing health, of physical inability, or too +frequent conceptions are matters for the investigation, advice and +decision of an experienced, judicious and upright physician. They should +never be taken in hand and judged upon by the parties themselves. And +to the objection "can't afford to have children; they cost too much," I +have faith enough to reply, "Our Heavenly Father never sends more mouths +than he can feed." Let each one do his and her duty in life and this +cavil falls to the ground like water--which, when spilled, cannot be +gathered up. + +Good people everywhere rejoice when they behold a married couple living +together in an orderly manner and rearing a large family of children. +How often is Queen Victoria held up as a pattern of excellence in this +respect: she accepted and acknowledged Prince Albert as her husband and +gave herself to him as his wife; and so indeed she was in every sense of +the term. Although a Queen, sitting on the pinnacle of power, she did +not seek to avoid the pangs, the dangers or inconveniences of +child-bearing. By her own personal strength her twelve children were +brought forth and her own sensitive fibres and tissues felt the +suffering. She nursed, caressed and loved them like a good mother and +she was a _royal mother_! Other kings and queens have done likewise; +other husbands and wives, high in power, wealth and fashion have done +and are still doing the same. And how much the less should we, in the +humbler walks of life, obey the Divine command "Be fruitful and +multiply." + +If a husband truly loves his wife and if she truly loves him, they will +live for each other and in each other, and they will be one; and they +will seek to do right in every particular of their marital relation. +To apply to life the truths advanced above and to realize them, will +require great effort by the parties in question. This manner of life +will not come of itself; it is too good to come without working for. +Mutual concessions must be made daily, and several times a day; one's +own way must frequently be given up, and always when discovered to +be a selfish way, because the mutual good is always to be consulted. +Questions of importance should be discussed freely and dispassionately, +and a good reason be established before adopting actions that may not +lead to proper results. In the marriage co-partnership the interest +in the right and the wrong, the loss and the gain, the lights and the +shadows, the pleasures and the pains, should be equally shared; because +they concern one just as much as the other, and should be equally +enjoyed, and equally borne by both. + +A start is made with loving hearts and this state of affairs must never +be allowed to diminish. The husband should ever be glad to see his wife, +and the wife should ever be glad to see her husband. How many husbands +never know what reception they will meet with on returning home after +their anxious and exhausting business hours are over for the day; it may +be a happy or a very unhappy one. How much it consoles, encourages, +lifts up, and rests a man to return to his home after the trying scenes +of a day busily spent in providing for the support of his family are +over, to find his wife affectionate and serene, and all about the house +brilliant with contentment. Such a wife if she has troubles, and of +course she has just as many troubles as the husband, though of a +different kind, and wishes to call the attention of her husband to them, +will do it at a proper time, when she knows it will annoy him the least, +and when he will be able to give her the most assistance. She will never +try to annoy him; but endeavoring to be a true help-meet will seek in a +proper and loving way to get him to be the same to her. The wife will +gain and command the respect of her husband only through kind and +loving ways. By her love constantly and judiciously administered she +will lead him onward and upward to higher aspirations and better +circumstances in life, throughout their days of united existence. A +scolding, fretting, worrying and selfish wife has ruined for life many +a husband. + +All the "self-denial" however, as it is called by some, is not on the +wife's side; the husband too must be forbearing; he must remember on his +way home at night that his faithful wife, who has been at home all day, +has had trials and disappointments in her domestic affairs; and he must +not be disappointed to find domestic arrangements a little disordered, +and his wife somewhat chagrined that, under the circumstances, she +really could give him no better a reception than he may experience. He +must always try to make the best of it and be satisfied. He must not +find fault with the cooking, for instance, but must be perfectly content +with everything as it is until his well-managing wife has had time to +overcome her difficulties and troubles. + +Never find fault with your wife under any circumstances; let your +intellect discover a way to better things if need be. A really wise man +will never allow a harsh word to escape his lips to a loving wife, or +to his harmless children. By so living together a wise husband and a +loving wife will soon discover that they two are but complemental to +each other--like the Will and Understanding of one individual. + + + + +CHAPTER IX. + +TO THE UNFORTUNATE. + + +Let no one imagine that, because he or she has committed any of the +great errors enumerated in former chapters, there is no hopeful future. +Such a conclusion need not, necessarily, be accepted. In very many cases +where there is a _will_ to reform, there is also a _way_; and very often +a complete cure and restoration to health may be effected. Diseased +bones may be made sound; ulcerations healed; sore throats cured; +blemishes on the skin removed; urinary difficulties may be dissipated or +at least greatly ameliorated; sexual disorders remedied; impaired eyes +much improved and defective vision much benefited if not wholly +restored; the auditory apparatus helped if not fully cured; and the +distracted mind, with its fanciful imageries, rendered tranquil and +rational. + +To accomplish all this the _mind_ must lead the way. The brain must +assert its supremacy, and the will-power become absolute. It is only +where there is a will, an indomitable will, that a way out of these +direful difficulties is afforded. Let happen what may, no opposing +influences should dampen the determination to press forward to +reformation; and then, sooner or later, the conquest will be made. + +To begin with, when the mind is fully determined to overcome all +obstacles or perish in the attempt, consult a judicious physician as +advised in the preface of this book. Lose no time with quackery in any +shape or form. Do not be beguiled by those who promise "a speedy cure." +Speedy cures cannot be made in these cases. Strong determination to +improve aided by proper medication can, in bad cases, only restore a +healthful condition in from two to three years. The system requires to +be made over anew as it were. The current of life must be turned into +new channels. New thoughts and new blood must be made to take the place +of what were wrong and polluted. This will take time and perseverance; +and then, little by little the old enemies will be overcome and driven +out. But progress for the better must be measured only from month to +month and even then there may be apparent relapses. Let me however +asseverate, from my abundance of experience in these cases, that there +is ultimately, after a reasonable time, every hope of becoming sound +and healthy again. + +Many young persons are rendered quite distracted by the sexual +instinct being too strong. It infests them and goads them on to the +commission of further unseemly acts--though suffering much from past +transgressions--which it seems almost impossible to avoid. The sensation +haunts and clings to them day and night, in spite of every attempt to +rise superior thereto. Sometimes nocturnal pollutions, or "wet dreams," +as they are commonly termed, result from these or other causes. There +must be some cause for this state of things and a rigid examination into +one's mode of life should ascertain the same. It may come from errors in +diet, in eating or drinking; in the use of highly seasoned food; or the +taking of some medicinal drug substance. It is well known that many +drugs have the power of producing such a condition. Should any of the +above seem to act as causes, a change should be made at once. The +plainest diet and simplest mode of life is always best in sickness or in +health. Again, one may take too little exercise in the open air. If so, +an abundance of physical exertion should be made daily, to insure a +natural and healthy condition of all organs of the body. Or, uncomfortable +conditions may arise, as they often do, from some morbid condition of +the vital forces. If diet and exercise are insufficient, the judicious +physician should be consulted and every symptom or unnatural sensation +from the crown of the head to the soles of the feet, should be carefully +described to him. In all probability he will remedy the trouble, thus +restoring peace and happiness. The generative organs are as liable to be +affected by a morbid state of the vital forces, as are any other organs +of the body; and when so affected they are just as amenable to +treatment. + +The above condition of affairs is not, however, confined to the male +sex. Females often suffer equally and in the same way. Many young +persons, of both sexes, have fallen victims to these disorders who could +have been cured by proper medical treatment. A female suffering from the +ill effects of any bad habit contracted in youth, or from any sexual or +venereal disorder, should seek medical aid with the same promptness and +openness of heart as a male. To overcome the vicious habit of self-abuse +is no trifling matter; it will require the persistent application of +indomitable will, aided by Christianity--by oft repeated appeals to the +Lord for aid, who lends a willing ear and a helping hand to the poor +and needy. When reformation is determined upon, it is better to consult +a physician at once and act under his advice. Besides directing the +proper diet and plenty of vigorous exercise in the open air, he will +prescribe the proper medicament. + +Cases of real syphilitic poisoning are most serious affections, and +everyone should know of the fearful effects of this poison--how +searchingly it infests the whole system, and how it contaminates the +blood and every tissue in the body. Such cases, therefore, should not be +trifled with in any way. Advertised nostrums should be particularly +avoided. For, if this poison be simply smothered in one's blood instead +of being wholly eradicated and cured, it will be sure to seize upon the +offspring and either destroy them before birth or during dentition. The +bare fear of such contamination should be amply sufficient to deter +everyone from exposing him- or herself to the risk. But, having fallen, +by all means seek the aid of a judicious physician. An experience of +nearly forty years in the treatment of these cases, in both sexes, has +given me the power to know whereof I speak; and I do declare that a very +large percentage of these cases can be cured in a safe manner; and so +perfectly cured too, that there will be no danger of transmitting the +infection to the offspring. I, by no means stand alone in this statement; +many other physicians, after long years of experience assert the same +truth. + +Therefore, let no one be discouraged, no matter how far he, or she, has +strayed from the paths of virtue or how much suffering has been entailed +thereby. In connection with the physician's help, aid yourself. Have +courage! Let the invincible will lead on unflinchingly--upheld by pure +thoughts, and good actions will surely follow. "Desire is really +dangerous only when it brings voluptuous pictures incessantly before the +imagination. It thus holds a thousand conflicts with virtue which it +conquers in the end; it installs itself in the bosom of the intelligence +of which it becomes the habitual pre-occupation." Seek therefore for +only pure thoughts. + +We should at all times exert all the power within us to live correct and +blameless lives in every respect, but particularly so in sexual matters. +The happiness, the health, and the lives of families and communities are +far more largely dependent upon these matters than is commonly supposed. +Those who have led lives of blameless purity, will continue to do so +after reading this book; while those who have gone astray will here find +every encouragement to set about their reformation at once. If faithful +to the teachings recorded in these pages they will bless the day and the +occasion that inspired the writer to put his hand to this work. The God +of Heaven and Earth knows that the motive that led me to this undertaking +was pure, and as solely for the good of humanity, as that purity which +prompts a human being to live a blameless life in the sight of his Maker. + + + + +CHAPTER X. + +ORIGIN OF THE SEX. + +From Whence does the Sex Proceed and What Determines It? + + +So much has been written about this matter, and so many foolish, low, +and really debasing theories and speculations have been advanced in +relation thereto, that I deem it expedient at this time, and in this +place, to put forth the true theory of the reproduction of the sexes, +one that can endure the test of the most rigid scientific investigation. +The only theory upon this subject worthy of notice, must be based upon a +principle that will hold good and true throughout all animated nature, +not only in the animal, but in the vegetable kingdom as well. + +The earth is the common mother of the vegetable world; seeds of all +kinds fall into her and she brings forth male and female plants +according to the seeds planted. The _earth_ certainly does not give the +sex to plants for they come forth according to the life inherent in the +seed; if this life-force be male, the plant must be male; and if the +life-force of the seed be female, the product must be a female plant. +The earth can possibly bring forth no other sex than that which the +life-force of the seed impels. + +This is true in the animal creation. Within the female grows the seed +given her by the male, be it male or female, and she can grow none +other. In other words the male as is very evident on mature reflection +gives the soul or the inmost vital principle, and the female clothes +that soul, or gives it a body in which to operate. What else can the +male do; what office does he perform, if it is not strictly this: to +impart of his life-giving spirit! The mother in clothing this germ of +life commingles, intertwines, and insinuates her own spirit, at the same +time educating, instructing, and determining its development according +to the influence she imparts to it. So the offspring partakes largely of +the nature of both its parents. The determination as to whether he +begets a male or female depends entirely upon the inmost vital state of +the male at the time of giving, although he is unconscious of the fact, +so that he can have no choice and no regulation, as some writers most +absurdly claim, in the matter of the forth-coming sex. He determines or +produces it unconsciously and involuntarily, the mother simply receiving, +clothing, and issuing from her body what the father has given her. + +It must not be forgotten when exploring these deep subjects that man is +a spiritual being, clothed with a material body, that his spirit is his +inmost, and that what proceeds from him in the generative act has life +from his inmost; consequently the life-giving principle of his semen is +from his inmost, which constitutes its life-giving power. This inmost +from the male, the begetting power, is clothed by his seminal fluid for +an All-wise purpose; it is not the gross material, the clothing, that +begets, but the living power which this material contains, which +fructifies, or becomes conjoined, or commingled with the vital force of +the ovule of the mother,[K] so that she can clothe it; and when so +conjoined the germ, or seed, is planted in congenial soil. Conception +has thus really taken place by virtue of this act, and the animal mother +proceeds with her reproduction precisely upon the same general +principles that mother earth reproduces corn from a single kernel. + + [K] See Guernsey's Obstetrics, 3d edition, on Reproduction. + +It is universally acknowledged that the Lord creates, that we owe all to +Him, that He gives us our children, etc., etc. This is true, and it is +also true that He makes use of the parents, through whom he operates to +this end. By the constant influx of his Divine Love and Wisdom He gives +us life, and by virtue of this constant influx into the father who +begets, the mother's conception becomes doubly sacred. She conceives +from her husband, and at the same instant the Lord by virtue of His +Divine Power breathes into that conception the breath of life, whereby +it becomes a living soul. By the light of this truth we see that it is +not the parents who give life to their offspring. They only supply the +pure material substances which are organized into the human form by the +living and life-giving forces which constantly flow in from the Lord who +is life itself and from whom all life constantly emanates. + + + + +INDEX. + + + "Abuse," self, definition of, 60 + + Adolescence of the female, 68 + " characteristics of, in females, 68 + " time of, in females, 27 + " of the male, 42 + " pride of in the male, 51 + " of male, changes observable, 42, 43 + " time of, in the male, 27 + + Amorous, females not naturally, 78, 103 + + Applications, in worm affections, 33 + + Ascarides, 33 + + + Bannisters, injurious to slide down, 29 + + + Chastity, what is true, 36 + " difficulty of maintaining, 53, 64 + " needful in both sexes, 63 + " difficulty of regaining, 56 + " should be maintained, 55 + + Child-bearing, the question of, 104 + " prevention of, 104 + + Childhood, 27 + + Children, let them romp, play, &c., 39 + " sleep of, 40 + " weight of at birth, 21 + + Coffee, use of by children, 36 + + Conception, 15 + + Continence not hurtful, 54, 55 + " physiologically considered, 57, 64 + + + Diapers for children, choice of, 25 + + Diet of the mother, during gestation, 98 + + + Embryo, earliest stage of, 15 + + Evil, first step of, 45, 61 + + + Fathers, injurious actions of, 25 + + Females, self-abuse in, 76, 82 + " dangers and temptations of, 77, 81 + " from fourteen to eighteen years, 69 + " naturally not amorous, 78, 103 + + Feminine charms, to preserve, 75 + + Foetal development, recapitulation of, 21, 22 + + + Genital organs, care of in infancy, 24 + " " uses of, 52, 59 + + + Health Lift beneficial, 99 + + Hope for the fallen, 110 + + Husband, advice to, 87 + " not to find fault, 108 + " represents "The Truth," 101 + + + Incontinent, trials of the, 56 + + Infant, the, 24 + + Insane asylums, who are there, 50 + + Introductory chapter, 13 + + + Licentiousness, perception of by the female, 63 + + Life, all, comes from the LORD, 120 + + LORD, the, alone creates, 119 + + + Marriage; act, the, 79, 80 + " the husband, 84 + " the wife, 90 + " conduct of a man before and after, 87, 88 + " the duties of, 94 + " true meaning of the word, 91 + " vow, the, 92 + + Married life, how to begin, 85 + " true love in, 106 + + Marry, men should, 84 + " why do girls, 90, 91 + + Masturbation, symptoms of, 34, 60 + " taught in schools, at home, &c., 34 + + Mechanical means, in worm affections, 33 + + Menstruation; and care during, 70, 73 + " not an inconvenience, 71 + + Mind, strength of, needful in reformation, 110 + + + Nurses, vicious practices of, 25 + + + Opiates should be avoided, 24 + + Origin of the Sex, 117 + + + Penis, secretions forming on, 30, 31 + + Pin worms, 33 + + Pollutions, nightly, causes of, 65 + " produced by drugs, 66 + + Poor houses, who the inmates are, 50 + + Preface, 9 + + Pregnancy, beginning of, 15 + " fifth week of, 16 + " seventh week of, 16 + " two months of, 17 + " ten weeks of, 17 + " third month of, 18 + " fourth month of, 19 + " fifth month of, 19 + " sixth month of, 19 + " seventh month of, 20 + " eighth month of, 20 + " ninth month of, 21 + + Prepuce, long, 31 + + Prevention of child bearing, 104 + + Preventives to conception, 96 + + Priapism, in boys, 30 + + Prisons, who the inmates are, 50 + + Pure thoughts, necessity for, 59, 115 + + Purgatives in worm affections, 33 + + + Queen Victoria, in child bearing, 105 + " " a Royal mother, 105 + + + Self-Abuse, to overcome, 113 + + Seminal fluid, 65 + + Sex, man powerless to regulate, 118 + " origin of the, 117 + + Sexual act, the, in marriage, 92, 94, 102 + " act, the frequency of, in marriage, 104 + " disorders come from within, 32 + " impressions on children, causes producing, 29 + " impressions should never affect a child, 27 + " instinct too strong, 112 + " intercourse, illicit, dangers of, 46, 47 + " intercourse, illicit, should not be recommended by a + physician, 55, 57 + " matters, use of good information on, 34 + " organs, earliest discernment of, 18 + " organs, needless laving, handling, &c., 31 + " precocity in children, 28 + " precocity in children, case illustrating, 28 + " temptations, to conquer, 56, 59, 62, 63 + " thoughts, influence of, 46, 53 + + Soothing syrups, avoidance of, 24 + + Spermatorrhoea, causes of, 65 + " caused by drugs, 66 + + Syphilis, 47, 48 + " mental effects of, 49 + + Syphilitic poisoning, 114 + + Syringes, 73, 75 + + Syrups, soothing, avoidance of, 34 + + + Tea, use of, by children, 36 + + Tobacco, use of, by children, 36 + + + Unfortunate, to the, 110 + + Urinate, inability to, in the morning, 32 + + + Vaginal injections, 73 + + Vermifuges, in worm affections, 33 + + + Washings, uselessness of, 38, 39 + + Weight of children at birth, 21 + + "Wet dreams," causes of, 65 + + Wife, choice of, 85 + " represents "The Good," 101 + " should allow the sexual act, 92, 94, 95 + " to be considerate, 107 + + Will power, man should be governed by the, 43 + + Wine, use of by children, 36 + + Worms, 33 + " are of constitutional origin, 33 + + + + + [ Transcriber's Note: + + The following is a list of corrections made to the original. The first + line is the original line, the second the corrected one. + + practically qualified, both by inherent qualities and education for the + practically qualified, both by inherent qualities and education, for the + + Origin of the Sex 117 + Origin of the Sex, 117 + + heighth of sexual orgasm is reached, ejaculation of semen occurs and + height of sexual orgasm is reached, ejaculation of semen occurs and + + as inflamations, excoriations, itchings and swellings of the genital + as inflammations, excoriations, itchings and swellings of the genital + + low. _The same thinking, feeling and desiring preceeds the adoption of + low. _The same thinking, feeling and desiring precedes the adoption of + + view to take, because, pomp, style and show _are not the true objects of + view to take, because pomp, style and show _are not the true objects of + + Some well-meaning and otherwise apparrently good husbands, but not true, + Some well-meaning and otherwise apparently good husbands, but not true, + + Young ladies why do you marry? Through infancy, childhood and + Young ladies, why do you marry? Through infancy, childhood and + + everyone from exposing him--or herself, to the risk. But, having fallen, + everyone from exposing him- or herself to the risk. But, having fallen, + + Children, sleep of, 40 + " sleep of, 40 + + Husband, advice to 87 + Husband, advice to, 87 + + " seventh week of 16 + " seventh week of, 16 + + Sex, origin of the, 117 + " origin of the, 117 + + " temptations, to conquer 56, 59, 62, 63 + " temptations, to conquer, 56, 59, 62, 63 + ] + + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Plain Talks on Avoided Subjects, by +Henry Newell Guernsey + +*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK PLAIN TALKS ON AVOIDED SUBJECTS *** + +***** This file should be named 31671.txt or 31671.zip ***** +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: + https://www.gutenberg.org/3/1/6/7/31671/ + +Produced by Jana Srna and the Online Distributed +Proofreading Team at https://www.pgdp.net (This book was +produced from scanned images of public domain material +from the Google Print project.) + + +Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions +will be renamed. + +Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no +one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation +(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without +permission and without paying copyright royalties. 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