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+*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK 30468 ***
+
+[Illustration: _It was getting so a person couldn't sleep nights
+anymore._]
+
+
+    _Would you like to see all hell break loose? Just make a few holes
+    in nothing at all--push some steel beams through the holes--and then
+    head for the hills. But first, read what happened to some people who
+    really did it._
+
+
+        HOLES
+     INCORPORATED
+
+ By L. Major Reynolds
+
+
+The red-headed secretary asked, "Names, please?"
+
+"Ted Baker."
+
+"Bill Stephens."
+
+"To see H. Joshua Blair. We have an appointment."
+
+"It's for three-thirty. We called up two weeks ago."
+
+The secretary said, "Oh, yes. I have you on the list." She checked them
+off, studied them vaguely, asked, "What was it you wanted to see Mr.
+Blair about?"
+
+Ted Baker held out the small steel box he was carrying. "About this."
+
+"Ah--what is it?"
+
+"It's a box."
+
+"I can see that," the redhead snapped. "What is it for? What does it
+do?"
+
+"It's for construction work. It makes holes."
+
+The girl sighed. It was late in the day and she didn't care much,
+really. She snapped an intercom button. An inquiring voice rasped at
+her. She said, "A Mr. Baker and a Mr. Stephens to see you."
+
+Evidently it was all right because she snapped off the button and
+pointed to a door. "In there."
+
+They went in the door and faced a desk large enough to play tennis on.
+The man behind the desk gave them a cordial snarl. "Well, what have you
+got on your mind? And don't take all day to tell me."
+
+Ted extended the box. "This. We'd like to sell it to you."
+
+"What is it? A bomb?"
+
+"No, sir. It makes holes. It makes holes real quick."
+
+Blair scowled at the box. "What the hell do I want of holes?"
+
+Bill Stephens came forward with further explanation. "You see, sir, Ted
+and I are inventors. We make, well--things. We've been working on this
+invention in our basement and it seems to be a success."
+
+"We don't quite know why it's a success," Ted said, "but it is."
+
+"We'd like to demonstrate it for you."
+
+"Well, go ahead and demonstrate."
+
+Ted raised the box and aimed it horizontally at nothing in particular.
+He pressed a black button. There was an odd whirring noise. He took his
+hand off the button and lowered the box.
+
+"What are you waiting for?" Blair growled.
+
+"Nothing. That's it. I've made the hole."
+
+"Are you two crazy? What kind of a fool trick--?"
+
+Ted reached down and took a pencil off the desk. "May I borrow this?"
+Without waiting for permission, he put the pencil carefully into the
+place he'd pointed the box. Half the pencil disappeared. He took his
+hand away. The part of the pencil still in sight didn't come with it. It
+stayed where it was, lying in thin air, horizontally, with no apparent
+support.
+
+H. Joshua Blair goggled and turned three shades whiter. "Wha-wha-what
+the hell!"
+
+"And now, if you'll try to move the pencil, the demonstration will be
+complete."
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+Like a man in a trance, Blair got up from his desk and grasped the
+pencil. It wouldn't move. He got red in the face and threw all his
+weight on it. It would neither pull nor push. It stayed where it was.
+Finally Blair backed away from the thing. He leaned on his desk and
+panted.
+
+"You see," Ted said, "The hole goes into the fourth dimension. There's
+no other explanation. And the fourth dimension holds solider than
+concrete."
+
+Old Blair's head was spinning, but business instinct came quickly to his
+rescue. "What happens," he asked, "if something in the third dimension
+is in the way?"
+
+"It gets out of the way," Bill said.
+
+Ted demonstrated. He trained the box on the visible remains of the
+pencil. It vanished.
+
+Blair said, "Well, I'll be damned!"
+
+"We figure this will save you a lot of money in construction work," Bill
+said. "You can get along without riveters. You just have a man put holes
+in girders with this and push the rivets through. You also make holes
+for the beam-ends, and your entire building will be anchored in the
+fourth dimension."
+
+"Do it again," Blair said.
+
+Ted made another hole and put another pencil into it. Blair grasped the
+pencil and applied leverage. The pencil snapped at the point it entered
+the next dimension but the broken end of the far piece was not to be
+seen.
+
+Blair asked, "You say you two invented this gadget?"
+
+"That's right," Bill said. "We've got a workshop in my basement. We
+invent in the evenings after we come home from work."
+
+"What do you work at?"
+
+"I read gas meters. He's a clerk in a supermarket."
+
+"I suppose you want money for this thing."
+
+"We'd like to sell it, yes, sir."
+
+"How much do you want for it?"
+
+"Well, we don't know. What's it worth to you?"
+
+"Nothing probably. Leave it here a few days. I'll look it over and let
+you know."
+
+"But--"
+
+"And don't call me--I'll call you."
+
+"But--"
+
+"Leave your address and phone number with my secretary."
+
+After Ted and Bill left, Blair yelled, "Get me Jake Steadman in the
+engineering department!" He didn't bother using the intercom, but his
+secretary heard him anyhow.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+Ted and Bill went to work on an idea they had for the treatment of
+leather. You dipped your shoes in a solution and they lasted forever.
+The thing didn't work too well, however. It was full of bugs. They tried
+to eliminate the bugs and once in a while they thought of H. Joshua
+Blair.
+
+"Don't you think it's about time he called us?" Ted asked.
+
+"Don't be so impatient. He's a big man. He owns a big company. It takes
+time."
+
+"He's had over a month."
+
+"Relax. We'll hear from him."
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+Another week passed, and another, until one evening Ted came galloping
+into the workshop with news. "That big new addition to the City Hall!
+They're working on it! H. Joshua Blair Construction Company. A big sign
+says so!"
+
+"Relax. You'll blow a tube."
+
+"Relax hell! He's using our invention to put up the steel girders. Just
+like we suggested to him. Guys with boxes like ours making holes and
+putting in rivets!"
+
+Bill stopped what he was doing. "He said he'd call us. Maybe he forgot.
+Maybe we better go see him."
+
+They both knocked off work the next day and got to Blair's office at
+nine o'clock. The red-headed secretary said, "You'll have to make an
+appointment."
+
+"Appointment hell!" Ted headed for the inner door. Bill followed him.
+They went into H. Joshua Blair's office to find him in conference with
+two vice-presidents. Ted said, "Mr. Blair, we came--"
+
+"Who in the devil are you?"
+
+"You remember us. Ted Baker and Bill Stephens. We came about our
+invention."
+
+"What invention?"
+
+"Our hole maker. You're using it on the City Hall addition."
+
+Blair glowered. "Where'd you get the idea it was yours? Have you got any
+patents to show?"
+
+"Well, no. We didn't--"
+
+"I did! Fourteen good solid patents. You two better go peddle your
+groceries."
+
+"Now look, Mr. Blair."
+
+Blair raised his voice. "Throw these two bums out!"
+
+Three huskies appeared as by magic to do Blair's bidding. As Ted and
+Bill landed on the sidewalk, one of the vice-presidents said, "Do you
+think that was smart, H. J.? They might cause trouble."
+
+Blair snorted. "They haven't got a prayer. A meter reader and a grocery
+clerk!"
+
+"We could have at least given them a few hundred."
+
+"Not on your life. Never give a sucker an even break, Jim. Give them
+anything at all, we acknowledge their claim. That'd be stupid."
+
+"Maybe you're right."
+
+"Of course I'm right. It's business. Now about those other bids. By gad!
+We can run every contractor in town out of competition! They can't touch
+our prices!"
+
+Out on the sidewalk, Bill and Ted sat mournfully looking up at the vast
+steel skeleton, held together literally by their own genius. Ted said,
+"We got a raw deal."
+
+"Maybe we had it coming. We were pretty stupid."
+
+"Anything we can do?"
+
+"Doesn't look like it."
+
+"Maybe the leather solution will turn out."
+
+"Maybe." Bill looked wistfully up at the steel skeleton. "At even a cent
+a hole, we'd have done all right."
+
+"Let's go home and get to work."
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+In the Mighty and Benevolent Kingdom of Szkazia, a minor reign of terror
+existed. The King, tired of complaints from his subjects, had just
+finished dressing down his Prime Minister. The Prime Minister was
+passing the abuse on to his Chief Scientist. "If something isn't done
+soon, I won't be responsible for your head, my friend. The King is in a
+rage."
+
+The eyes of the Chief Scientist watered--partly from fear, and partly
+from nights and days spent in his laboratory beating out his brains on
+one idea after another.
+
+"I'm doing my best, sire--"
+
+"It's not good enough! These steel girders coming out of nowhere!
+Banging people in the head--whacking them in the stomach! Why it isn't
+safe to walk through the halls of the Administration Building. Even the
+bedrooms of the Executive Apartments are not safe! The other night the
+Director of Propaganda had just gone to bed--"
+
+"I know of the incident," the Chief Scientist said hurriedly.
+
+"Oh, you do? But you've done nothing about--"
+
+"I've been working hard," the scientist said patiently, "and I think I
+have the solution. Give me another day."
+
+"One day, then. After that--" The Prime Minister made a significant
+slicing motion with his finger.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+The Prime Minister chewed his fingernails and watched the clock. Sleep
+was out of the question with the King calling up every little while
+yelling for action. The Minister counted the hours and presented himself
+at the Royal Laboratories precisely twenty-four hours later. "Time's
+up," he snapped.
+
+The Chief Scientist was wiping his face. There were new lines around his
+mouth. He indicated a small steel box. "I think I've got it," he said.
+"Come with me."
+
+They went swiftly to the Administration Building. "This should be close
+enough. We depress this lever and--and hope."
+
+"Well, do it--do it!"
+
+The Chief Scientist pushed the lever on the steel box. A whirring sound
+came from within. All the steel girder ends in sight--all the nasty
+little rivets--disappeared. The Chief Scientist smiled and wiped his
+face again. "It worked," he said.
+
+"Excellent. I'll see that you get a medal."
+
+"Thank you," the Chief Scientist said sadly. That was the trouble with
+people nowadays. They either handed you a medal or your head.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+Ted and Bill stared sadly at the mess around the City Hall. Bill said,
+"It's a good thing it collapsed at night so nobody was killed, isn't
+it?"
+
+"You said it. I'd have felt guilty if there'd been any casualties."
+
+"What do you suppose went wrong?"
+
+"You got me. What do you think they'll do to old Blair?"
+
+"I don't know, but it looks pretty bad. They refused to let him out on
+bail."
+
+"Serves him right. The way he treated us."
+
+"You've got it wrong. He treated us swell. He did us a big favor. We
+could have been blamed for this."
+
+Bill thought it over before saying, "I guess you're right. I hadn't
+looked at it that way."
+
+"Let's go home and get to work on the leather solution."
+
+So they did.
+
+
+THE END
+
+
+
+
+Transcriber's Note:
+
+    This etext was produced from _If Worlds of Science Fiction_
+    September 1952. Extensive research did not uncover any evidence that
+    the U.S. copyright on this publication was renewed. Minor spelling
+    and typographical errors have been corrected without note.
+
+
+
+
+
+End of Project Gutenberg's Holes, Incorporated, by L. Major Reynolds
+
+*** END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK 30468 ***