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-*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK 30075 ***

-

-OUR NEXT-DOOR NEIGHBORS

-

-

-

-

-By Belle K. Maniates

-

-AMARILLY OF CLOTHES-LINE ALLEY

-

-MILDEW MANCE

-

-OUR NEXT-DOOR NEIGHBORS

-

-

-

-

-[Illustration: "What's your rush?" I asked, when I had overtaken him.

-FRONTISPIECE. _See page 114._]

-

-

-

-

-OUR NEXT-DOOR NEIGHBORS

-

-By

-

-Belle Kanaris Maniates

-

-With illustrations by

-

-Tony Sarg

-

-Boston

-

-Little, Brown, and Company

-

-1917

-

-

-

-

-Copyright, 1917,

-

-By Little, Brown, and Company.

-

-All rights reserved

-

-Published February, 1917

-

-Norwood Press

-

-Set up and electrotyped by J. S. Cushing Co., Norwood, Mass., U.S.A.

-

-Presswork by The Colonial Press, Boston, Mass., U.S.A.

-

-

-

-

-CONTENTS

-

-      I ABOUT SILVIA AND MYSELF                                      1

-     II INTRODUCING OUR NEXT-DOOR NEIGHBORS                          9

-    III IN WHICH WE ARE PESTERED BY POLYDORES                       28

-     IV IN WHICH WE TAKE BOARDERS                                   45

-      V IN WHICH WE TAKE A VACATION                                 61

-     VI A FLIRT AND A WOMAN-HATER                                   77

-    VII IN WHICH NOTHING MUCH HAPPENS                               90

-   VIII PTOLEMY DISAPPEARS AND I VISIT A HAUNTED HOUSE              99

-     IX IN WHICH WE SEE GHOSTS                                     123

-      X IN WHICH WE MAKE SOME DISCOVERIES                          138

-     XI A BAD MEANS TO A GOOD END                                  152

-    XII "TOO MUCH POLYDORES"                                       164

-   XIII ROB'S FRIEND THE REPORTER                                  173

-    XIV A MIDNIGHT EXCURSION                                       195

-     XV WHAT MISS FRAYNE FOUND OUT                                 203

-    XVI PTOLEMY'S TALE                                             213

-   XVII ALL ABOUT UNCLE ISSACHAR'S VISIT                           229

-  XVIII IN WHICH I DECIDE ON EXTREME MEASURES                      254

-    XIX WHICH HAS TO DO WITH SOME LETTERS                          267

-     XX "THE MONEY WE EARNT FOR YOU"                               276

-

-

-

-

-ILLUSTRATIONS

-

-  "What's your rush?" I asked, when I had overtaken

-      him.                                              _Frontispiece_

-  Uncle Issachar                                                    10

-  Dr. Felix Polydore                                                23

-  "Lucien Wade!" she gasped. "Here are our letters to

-      Beth and Rob."                                                80

-  He pleaded eloquently to be taken with us.                       102

-  I babbled aimlessly to myself and then managed to

-      pull together and beat it to the lake                        126

-  The landlady intears waylaid me                                  132

-  I had to carry Diogenes most of the way                          168

-  Now and then above his howls, I heard Silvia's

-      plaintive protests outside the door                          192

-  I held out my hand, which he shook solemnly, but

-      with an injured air                                          224

-  "He went to the front window and dropped a young

-      kitten down on the old gent's head."                         242

-  "We heard a suppressed sneeze, and Rob pulled

-      Emerald from underneath."                                    256

-

-

-

-

-OUR NEXT-DOOR NEIGHBOURS

-

-

-

-

-CHAPTER I

-

-_About Silvia and Myself_

-

-

-Some people have children born unto them, some acquire children and

-others have children thrust upon them. Silvia and I are of the last

-named class. We have no offspring of our own, but yesterday, today,

-and forever we have those of our neighbor.

-

-We were born and bred in the same little home-grown city and as a

-small boy, even, I was Silvia's worshiper, but perforce a worshiper

-from afar.

-

-Her upcoming had been supervised by a grimalkin governess who drew

-around the form of her young charge the awful circle of exclusiveness,

-intercourse with child-kind being strictly prohibited.

-

-Children are naturally gregarious little creatures, however, and

-Silvia on rare occasions managed to break parole and make adroit

-escape from surveillance. Then she would speed to the top of the

-boundary wall that separated the stable precincts from an alluring

-alley which was the playground of the plebeian progeny of the humble

-born.

-

-To the circle of dirty but fascinating ragamuffins she became an

-interested tangent, a silent observer. Here I had my first meeting

-with her. I was not of her class, neither was I to the alley born, but

-sailed in the sane mid-channel that ameliorates the distinction

-between high and low life.

-

-On this eventful day I was taking a short cut on my way to school. One

-of the group of alleyites, with the inherent friendliness of the

-unchartered but big-hearted members of the silt of the stream of

-humans, had proffered to little Silvia a chip on which was a patch of

-mud designed to become a fruitcake stuffed with pebbles in lieu of

-raisins and frosted with moistened ashes. Before the enticing pastime

-of transformation was begun, however, Silvia was swiftly snatched from

-the contaminating midst and borne away over the ramparts.

-

-Thereafter I haunted the alley, hoping for another glimpse of the

-little picture girl on the wall. At last I attained my desire. One

-Saturday afternoon I saw her coming, alone, down a long rosebush

-bordered path. A thrill ran through me. Our eyes met. Yet all I found

-to say was: "C'mon over."

-

-She responded to this invitation and I helped her over the wall. She

-looked longingly at the Irish playing in the mud, but a clean sandpile

-in my own backyard not far away seemed to me a more fitting

-environment for one so daintily clad.

-

-We played undisturbed for a never-to-be-forgotten half hour and then

-they found her out. Reprimanding voices jangled and the whole world

-was out of tune.

-

-Thereafter a strict watch was kept on little Silvia's movements and I

-saw her only at rare intervals, when she was going into church or as

-she rode past our house. She always remembered me and on such

-meetings a faint, reminiscent smile lighted the somber little face and

-her eyes met mine as if in a mysterious promise.

-

-She grew up an outlawed, isolated child deprived of her birthright,

-but in spite of the handicaps of so barren a childhood, she achieved

-young womanhood unspoiled and in possession of her early democratic

-tendencies.

-

-When I was making a modest start in a legal way, her parents died and

-left her with that most unprofitable of legacies, an encumbered

-estate. Then I dared to renew our acquaintance begun on the sandpile.

-She went to live with a poor but practical relation and was initiated

-into the science of stretching an inadequate income to meet everyday

-needs. In time I wooed and won her.

-

-We set up housekeeping in a small, thriving mid-Western city where I

-secured a partnership in a legal firm. Silvia had all the requisites

-of mind and manner and Domestic Science necessary to a "hearth-and

-home-" maker.

-

-We lived in a house which was one of many made to the same measure

-with the inevitable street porch, big window, trimmed lawn in front

-and garden in the rear. We had attained the standard of prosperity

-maintained in our home town by keeping "hired help" and installing a

-telephone, so our social status was fixed.

-

-There was but one adjunct missing to our little Arcadia. While at a

-word or look children flocked to me like friendly puppies in response

-to a call, to Silvia they were still an unknown quantity.

-

-I had hoped that her understanding and love for children might be

-developed in the usual and natural way, but we had now been married

-ten years and this hope had not been realized.

-

-She had tried most assiduously to cultivate an acquaintance with

-members of child-world, but into that kingdom there is no open sesame.

-The sure keen intuition of a child recognizes on sight a kindred

-spirit and Silvia's forced advances met with but indifferent response.

-She wistfully proposed to me one day that we adopt a child. My doubts

-as to the advisability of such a course were confirmed by Huldah, our

-strong staff in household help. In our section of the country servants

-were generally quite conversant with the intimate and personal affairs

-of the home.

-

-"Don't you never do it, Mr. Wade," she counseled. "Ready-mades ain't

-for the likes of her."

-

-When, in acting on this advice, I vetoed Silvia's lukewarm

-proposition, I was convinced of Huldah's wisdom by seeing the look of

-relief that flashed into my wife's troubled countenance, and I knew

-that her suggestion had been but a perfunctory prompting of duty.

-

-Time alone could overcome the effects of her early environment!

-

-

-

-

-CHAPTER II

-

-_Introducing Our Next-door Neighbors_

-

-

-One morning Silvia and I lingered over our coffee cups discussing our

-plans for the coming summer, which included visits from my sister Beth

-and my college chum, Rob Rossiter. We wished to avoid having their

-arrivals occur simultaneously, however, because Rob was a woman-hater,

-or thought he was. We decided to have Beth pay her visit first and

-later take Rob with us on our vacation trip to some place where the

-fishing facilities would be to our liking. However, summer vacation

-time like our plans was yet far, vague and dim.

-

-[Illustration: Uncle Issachar]

-

-While I was putting on my overcoat, Silvia had gone to the window and

-was looking pensively at the vacant house next to ours.

-

-"I fear," she said abruptly and irrelevantly, "that we are destined

-to receive no part of Uncle Issachar's fortune."

-

-Uncle Issachar was a wealthy but eccentric relative of my wife. He had

-made us no wedding gift beyond his best wishes, but he had then

-informed us that at the birth of each of our prospective sons he

-should place in the bank to Silvia's account the sum of five thousand

-dollars. We had never invited him to visit us or made any overtures in

-the way of communication with him, lest he should think we were

-cultivating his acquaintance from mercenary motives.

-

-While I was debating whether the lament in Silvia's tone was for the

-loss of the money or the lack of children, she again spoke; this time

-in a tone which had lost its languor.

-

-"There is a big moving van in front of the house next door. At last we

-will have some near neighbors."

-

-"Are they unloading furniture?" I asked inanely, crossing to the

-window.

-

-"No; course not," came cheerfully from Huldah, who had come in to

-remove the dishes. "Most likely they are unloading lions and tigers."

-

-As I have already intimated, Huldah was a privileged servant.

-

-"They are unloading children!" explained Silvia, in a tone implying

-that Huldah's sarcastic implication would be infinitely more

-preferable. "The van seems to be overflowing with them--a perfect

-crowd. Do you suppose the house is to be used as an orphan asylum?"

-

-"I think not," I assured her as I counted the flock. Five children

-would seem like a crowd to Silvia.

-

-"Boys!" exclaimed Huldah tragically, as she joined us for a survey.

-"I'll see that they don't keep the grass off our lawn."

-

-Late that afternoon I opened the outer door of the dining-room in

-response to the rap of strenuously applied knuckles.

-

-A lad of about eleven years with the sardonic face of a satyr and

-diabolically bright eyes peered into the room.

-

-"We're going to have soup for dinner," he announced, "and mother wants

-to borrow a soup plate for father to eat his out of."

-

-Silvia stared at him aghast. She seemed to feel something compelling

-in the boy's personnel, however, and she went to the china closet and

-brought forth a soup plate which she handed to him without comment.

-

-In silence we watched him run across the lawn, twirling the plate

-deftly above his head in juggler fashion.

-

-The next day when we sat down to dinner our new young neighbor again

-appeared on our threshold.

-

-"Halloa!" he called chummily. "We are going to have soup again and we

-want a soup plate for father."

-

-"Where is the one I loaned you yesterday?" demanded Silvia in a tone

-far below thirty-two degrees Fahrenheit, while her features assumed a

-frigidity that would have congealed father's favorite sustenance had

-it been in her vicinity.

-

-"Oh, we broke that!" he casually and cheerfully explained.

-

-With much reluctance Silvia bestowed another plate upon the young

-applicant.

-

-"Wait!" I said as he started to leave, "don't you want the soup

-tureen, too, or the ladle and some soup spoons?"

-

-"No, thank you," he answered politely. "None of the rest of us like

-soup, so we dish father's up in the kitchen. He doesn't like soup

-particularly, but he eats it because it goes down quick and lets him

-have more time for work."

-

-This time as he sped homeward, he didn't spin the plate in air, but

-tried out a new plan of balancing it on a stick.

-

-"I think," I suggested gently, when our young neighbor was lost to our

-sorrowful sight, "that it might be well to invest in another dozen or

-so of soup plates. I will see about getting them at wholesale rates.

-Our supply will soon give out if our new neighbors continue to

-cultivate the soup and borrowing habit."

-

-"I will buy some at the five cent store," replied Silvia. "I think I

-had better call upon them tomorrow and see what manner of people they

-can be."

-

-When I came home the next day it was quite evident that she had

-called.

-

-"Well," I inquired, "what do they keep--a soup house?"

-

-"They are literary people, the highest of high-brows. Their name is

-Polydore, and the head of the house----"

-

-"Mr. or Mrs.?" I interrupted.

-

-"The head of the house," pursued Silvia, ignoring my question, "is a

-collector."

-

-"So I inferred. Has he a large collection of soup plates?"

-

-"She collects antiquities and writes their history. He pursues

-science."

-

-"They were seemingly communicative. What did they look like?"

-

-"I didn't see them. After I rang I heard a woman's voice bidding some

-one not to answer the bell. She said she couldn't be bothered with

-interruptions, so I went on up the street to call on Mrs. Fleming, who

-told me all about them. She was also refused admittance when she

-called. On my way home I met that boy--that awful boy----"

-

-She paused, evidently overcome by the consideration of his awfulness.

-

-"He had been digging bait--"

-

-Again she paused as if words were inadequate for her climax.

-

-"Well," I encouraged.

-

-"He was carrying his bait--horrid, wriggling angleworms--in our soup

-plate!"

-

-"Then it is not broken yet!" I exclaimed joyfully. "Let us hope it is

-given an antiseptic bath before father's next indulgence in consommé.

-After dinner I will go over and try my luck at paying my respects to

-the soup savant."

-

-"They won't let you in."

-

-"In that case I shall follow their lead of setting aside all ceremony

-and formality and admit myself, as their heir apparent does here."

-

-After dinner and my twilight smoke, I went next door, first asking

-Silvia if there was anything we needed that I could borrow, just to

-show them there were no hard feelings.

-

-My third vigorous ring brought results. A slipshod servant appeared

-and reluctantly seated me in the hall. She read with seeming interest

-the card I handed to her and then, pushing aside some mangy looking

-portières, vanished from view.

-

-She evidently delivered my card, for I heard a woman's voice read my

-name, "Mr. Lucien Wade."

-

-After another short interval the slovenly servant returned and offered

-me my card.

-

-"She seen it," she assured me in answer to my look of surprise.

-

-She again put the portières between us and I was obliged to own myself

-baffled in my efforts to break in. I was showing myself out when my

-onward course was deflected by a troop of noisy children leaded by

-the soup plate skirmisher, who was the oldest and apparently the

-leader of the brood.

-

-"Oh, halloa!" he greeted me with the air of an old acquaintance,

-"didn't you see the folks?"

-

-On my informing him that I had seen no one but the servant, he

-exclaimed:

-

-"Oh, that chicken wouldn't know enough to ask you in! Just follow us.

-Mother wouldn't remember to come out."

-

-I was loth to force my presence on mother, but by this time my

-hospitable young friend had pulled the portières so strenuously that

-they parted from the pole, and I was presented willy nilly to the

-collector of antiquities, who had the angular sharp-cut face and form

-of a rocking horse. She was seated at a table strewn with books and

-papers, writing at a rate of speed that convinced me she was in the

-throes of an inspiration. I forebore to interrupt. My scruples,

-however, were not shared by her eldest son. He gave her elbow a jog of

-reminder which sent her pencil to the floor.

-

-"Mother!" he shouted in megaphone voice, "here's the man next

-door--the one we get our soup plates from."

-

-She looked up abstractedly.

-

-"Oh," she said in dismayed tone, "I thought you had gone. I am very

-much engaged in writing a paper on modern antiquities."

-

-I murmured some sort of an apology for my untimely interruption.

-

-"I am so absorbed in my great work," she explained, "that I am

-oblivious to all else. I have the rare and great gift of concentration

-in a marked degree."

-

-I was quite sure of this fact. She took another pencil from a supply

-box and resumed her literary occupation. As my presence seemed of so

-little moment, I lingered.

-

-"Mother," shouted one of the boys, snatching the pencil from her

-grasp, "I'm hungry. I didn't have any supper."

-

-"Yes, you did!" she asserted. "I saw Gladys give you a bowl of bread

-and milk."

-

-"Emerald took it away from me and drank it up."

-

-"Didn't neither!" denied a shaggy looking boy. "I spilled it."

-

-He accompanied this denial by a fierce punch in his accuser's ribs.

-

-"Here!" said the author of Modern Antiquities, taking a nickel from

-her pocket, "go get yourself some popcorn, Demetrius."

-

-"I ain't Demetrius! I'm Pythagoras."

-

-"It makes no difference. Go and get it and don't speak to me again

-tonight."

-

-The boy had already snatched the coin, and he now started for the

-exit, but his outgoing way was instantly blocked by a promiscuous pack

-of pugilistic Polydores, and an ardent and general onslaught

-followed.

-

-I endeavored to untangle the arms and legs of the attackers and the

-attacked in a desire to rescue the youngest, a child of two, but I

-soon beat a retreat, having no mind to become a punching bag for

-Polydores.

-

-The concentrator at the writing table, looking up vaguely, perceived

-the general joust.

-

-"How provoking!" she exclaimed indignantly. "I was in search of an

-antonym and now they've driven it out of my memory."

-

-I politely offered my sympathy for her loss.

-

-"Did you ever see such misbehaved children?" she asked casually and

-impersonally as she calmly surveyed the free-for-all fight.

-

-[Illustration: Dr. Felix Polydore]

-

-"Children always misbehave before company," I remarked propitiatingly.

-"Of course they know better."

-

-"Why no, they don't!" she declared, looking at me in surprise,

-"they----"

-

-At this instant the errant antonym evidently flashed upon her mental

-vision and her pencil hastened to record it and then flew on at

-lightning speed.

-

-I was about to try to make an escape when a momentary cessation of

-hostilities was caused by the entrance of a moth-eaten, abstracted-looking

-man. As the _two-year-old_ hailed him as "fadder", I gathered that he

-was the person responsible for the family now fighting at his feet.

-

-"What's the trouble?" he asked helplessly.

-

-"She gave Thag a nickel," explained the eldest boy, "and we want it."

-

-The man drew a sigh of relief. The solution of this family problem was

-instantly and satisfactorily met by an impartial distribution of

-nickels.

-

-With demoniac whoops of delight, the contestants fled from the room.

-

-I introduced myself to the man of the house, who seemed to realize

-that some sort of compulsory conventionalities must be observed. He

-looked hopelessly at his wife, and seeing that she was beyond response

-to an S O S call to things mundane, he frankly but impressively

-informed me that I must expect nothing of them socially as their lives

-were devoted to research and study. The children, however, he assured

-me, could run over frequently to see us.

-

-I instinctively felt that my call was considered ended, so I took my

-departure. I related the details of my neighborly visit to Silvia, but

-her sense of humor was not stirred. It was entirely dominated by her

-dread of the young Polydores.

-

-"How many children are there?" she asked faintly. "More than the five

-you said you counted that first day?"

-

-"They seemed not so many as much. That is, though I suppose in round

-numbers there are but five, yet each of those five is equal to at

-least three ordinary children."

-

-"Are they all boys? Huldah says the youngest wears dresses."

-

-"Nevertheless he is a boy. They are all unmistakably boys. I think

-they must have been born with boots on and," conscious of the imprints

-of my shins, "hobnail boots at that. Even the youngest, a two-year

-old, seems to have been graduated from Home Rule."

-

-"I can't bear to think of their going to bed hungry," she said

-wistfully. "Think of that unnatural mother expecting them to satisfy

-their hunger by popcorn."

-

-"They didn't though," I assured her. "I saw them stop a street vender

-below here and invest their nickels in hot dogs."

-

-"Hot dogs!" repeated Silvia in horror.

-

-"Wienerwursts," I hastened to interpret.

-

-

-

-

-CHAPTER III

-

-_In Which We Are Pestered by Polydores_

-

-

-Our life now became one long round of Polydores. They were with us

-burr-tight, and attached themselves to me with dog-like devotion,

-remaining utterly impervious to Silvia's aloofness and repulses. At

-last, however, she succumbed to their presence as one of the things

-inevitable.

-

-"The Polydores are here to stay," she acknowledged in a

-calmness-of-despair voice.

-

-"They don't seem to be homebodies," I allowed.

-

-The children were not literary like the other productions of their

-profound parents, but were a band of robust, active youngsters

-unburdened with brains, excepting Ptolemy of soup plate fame. Not that

-he betrayed any tendencies toward a learned line, but he was possessed

-of an occult, uncanny, wizard-like wisdom that was disconcerting. His

-contemplative eyes seemed to search my soul and read my inmost

-thoughts.

-

-Pythagoras, Emerald, and Demetrius, aged respectively nine, eight, and

-seven, were very much alike in looks and size, being so many pinched

-caricatures of their mother. To Silvia they were bewildering

-whirlwinds, but Huldah, who seemed to have difficulty in telling them

-apart, always classified them as "Them three", and Silvia and I fell

-into the habit of referring to them in the same way. Huldah could not

-master the Polydore given names either by memory or pronunciation.

-Ptolemy, whose name was shortened to "Tolly" by Diogenes, she called

-"Polly." When she was on speaking terms with "Them three" she

-nicknamed them "Thaggy, Emmy, and Meetie."

-

-Diogenes, the two-year old, was a Tartar when emulating his brothers.

-Alone, he was sometimes normal and a shade more like ordinary

-children.

-

-When they first began swarming in upon us, Silvia drew many lines

-which, however, the Polydores promptly effaced.

-

-"They shall not eat here, anyway," she emphatically declared.

-

-This was her last stand and she went down ingloriously.

-

-One day while we were seated at the table enjoying some of Huldah's

-most palatable dishes, Ptolemy came in. There ensued on our part a

-silence which the lad made no effort to break. Silvia and I each

-slipped him a side glance. He stood statuesque, watching us with the

-mute wistfulness of a hungry animal. There were unwonted small red

-specks high upon his cheekbones, symptoms, Silvia thought, of

-starvation.

-

-She was moved to ask, though reluctantly and perfunctorily:

-

-"Haven't you been to dinner, Ptolemy?"

-

-"Yes," he admitted quickly, "but I could eat another."

-

-Assuming that the forced inquiry was an invitation, before protest

-could be entered he supplied himself with a plate and helped

-himself to food. His need and relish of the meal weakened Silvia's

-fortifications.

-

-This opening, of course, was the wedge that let in other Polydores,

-and thereafter we seldom sat down to a meal without the presence of

-one or more members of the illustrious and famished family, who made

-themselves as entirely at home as would a troop of foraging soldiers.

-Silvia gazed upon their devouring of food with the same surprised,

-shocked, and yet interested manner in which one watches the feeding of

-animals.

-

-"I suppose he ought not to eat so many pickles," she remarked one day,

-as Emerald consumed his ninth Dill.

-

-"You can't kill a Polydore," I assured her.

-

-I never opened a door but more or less Polydores fell in. They were at

-the left of us and at the right of us, with Diogenes always under

-foot. We had no privacy. I found myself waking suddenly in the night

-with the uncomfortable feeling that Ptolemy lurked in a dark corner or

-two of my bedroom.

-

-Even Silvia's boudoir was not free from their invasion. But one door

-in our house remained closed to them. They found no open sesame to

-Huldah's apartment.

-

-"I wish she would let me in on her system," I said. "I wonder how she

-manages to keep them on the outside?"

-

-"I can tell you," confided Silvia. "Emerald and Demetrius went in one

-day and she dropped Demetrius out the window and kicked Emerald out

-the door. You know, Lucien, you are too softhearted to resort to such

-measures."

-

-"I was once," I confessed, "but I think under Polydore régime I am

-getting stoical enough to follow in Huldah's footsteps and go her one

-better."

-

-Our conversation was interrupted by the entrance of Diogenes.

-

-Silvia screamed.

-

-Turning to see what the latest Polydore perpetration might be, I saw

-that Diogenes was frothing at the mouth.

-

-"Oh, he's having a fit!" exclaimed Silvia frantically. "Call Huldah!

-Put him in a hot bath. Quick, Lucien, turn on the hot water."

-

-"Not I," I refused grimly. "Let him have a fit and fall in it."

-

-"He ain't got no fit," was the cheerful assurance of Pythagoras, as he

-sauntered in.

-

-"Your mother would have one," I told him, "if she could hear your

-English."

-

-"What is the matter with him?" asked Silvia. "Does he often foam in

-this way?"

-

-"He's been eating your tooth powder," explained Pythagoras. "He likes

-it 'cause it tastes like peppermint, and then he drank some water

-before he swallowed the powder and it all fizzed up and run out his

-mouth."

-

-"I wondered," said Silvia ruefully, "what made my tooth powder

-disappear so rapidly. What shall I do!"

-

-"Resort to strategy!" I advised. "Lock up your powder hereafter and

-fill an empty bottle with powdered alum or something worse and leave

-it around handy."

-

-"Lucien!" exclaimed my wife, who could not seem to recover from this

-latest annoyance, "I don't see how you can be so fond of children. I

-did hope--for your sake and--on account of Uncle Issachar's offer that

-I'd like to have one--but I'd rather go to the poorhouse! I'd almost

-lose your affection rather than have a child."

-

-"But, Silvia!" I remonstrated in dismay, "you shouldn't judge all by

-these. They're not fair samples. They're not children--not home-grown

-children."

-

-"I should say not!" agreed Huldah, who had come into the room. "They

-are imps--imps of the devil."

-

-I believe she was right. They had a generally demoralizing effect on

-our household. I was growing irritable, Silvia careworn. Even Huldah

-showed their influence by acquiring the very latest in slang from

-them. Once in a while to my amusement I heard Silvia unconsciously

-adopting the Polydore argot.

-

-As the result of their better nourishment at our table, the imps of

-the devil daily grew more obstreperous and life became so burdensome

-to Silvia that I proposed moving away to a childless neighborhood.

-

-"They'd find us out," said Silvia wearily, "wherever we went. Distance

-would be no obstacle to them."

-

-"Then we might move out of town, as a last resort," I suggested. "Rob

-says he thinks there is a good legal field in----"

-

-"No, Lucien," vetoed Silvia. "You've a fine practice here, and then

-there's that attorneyship for the Bartwell Manufacturing Company."

-

-My hope of securing this appointment meant a good deal to us. We were

-now living up to every cent of my income and though we had the

-necessities, it was the luxuries of life I craved--for Silvia's sake.

-She was a lover of music and we had no piano. She yearned to ride and

-she had no horse. We both had longings for a touring-car and we wanted

-to travel.

-

-"I've thought of a scheme for a little respite from the sight and

-sound of the Polydores," I remarked one day. "We'll enter them in the

-public school. There are four more weeks yet before the long summer

-vacation."

-

-"That would be too good to be true," declared Silvia. "Five or six

-hours each day, and then, too, their deportment will be so dreadful

-that they will have to stay after school hours."

-

-I thought more likely their deportment would lead to suspension, but

-forbore to wet-blanket Silvia's hopes.

-

-I made my second call upon the male head of the House of Polydore to

-recommend and urge that its young scions be sent to the public school.

-I had misgivings as to the outcome of my proposition, as the Polydore

-parents believed themselves to be the only fount of learning in the

-town. To my surprise and intense gratification, my suggestion met with

-no objections whatever. Felix Polydore referred me to his wife and

-said he would abide by her decision. I found her, of course, buried in

-books, but remembering Ptolemy's mode of gaining attention, I

-peremptorily closed the volume she was studying.

-

-My audacity attained its object and I proferred my request, laying

-great stress on the quietude she would gain thereby. She replied that

-attendance at school would doubtless do them no harm, although she

-expressed her belief that the most thorough educations were those

-obtained outside of schools.

-

-Silvia was wafted into the eighth heaven of bliss and then some, as

-the result of my diplomatic mission. Of course the task of preparing

-pupils out of the pestiferous Polydores devolved upon her, but she was

-actively aided by the eager and willing Huldah and between them they

-pushed the project that promised such an elysium with all speed. The

-prospective pupils themselves were not wildly enthusiastic over this

-curtailment of their liberty, but Huldah won the day by proposing that

-they carry their luncheon with them, promising an abundant supply of

-sugared doughnuts and small pies.

-

-Pythagoras foresaw recreation ahead in the opportunity to "lick all

-the kids," and I assumed that Ptolemy had deep laid schemes for the

-outmaneuvering of teachers, but as his left hand never made confidant

-of his right, I could not expect to fathom the workings of his mind.

-

-Early on a Monday morning, therefore, our household arose to lick our

-Polydore protégés into a shape presentable for admission to school.

-It took two hours to pull up stockings and make them stay pulled,

-tie shoestrings, comb out tangles, adjust collars and neckties, to

-say nothing of vigorous scrubbings to five grimy faces and ten

-dirt-stained hands.

-

-At last with an air of achievement Silvia corralled her round-up and

-unloaded the four eldest upon the public school and then proceeded to

-install the protesting Diogenes in a nursery kindergarten. Huldah

-stood in the doorway as they marched off and sped the parting guests

-with a muttered "Good riddance to bad rubbish."

-

-Silvia returned radiant, but her rejoicing was shortlived. She had

-scarcely taken off her hat and gloves when the four oldest came

-trooping and whooping into the house.

-

-"What's the matter?" gasped Silvia.

-

-"Got to be vaccinated," explained Ptolemy with an appreciative

-grin. Of all the Polydores he was the one who had least objected

-to scholastic pursuits, but he seemed quite jubilant at our

-discomfiture.

-

-We were somewhat reluctant to undertake the responsibility of their

-inoculation, especially after Ptolemy told us that his mother didn't

-believe in vaccination.

-

-"I'll take 'em down and get 'em vaccinated right," declared Huldah.

-"Their ma won't never notice the scars, and if one of you young uns

-blabs about it," she added, turning upon them ferociously, "I'll cut

-your tongue out."

-

-"Suppose there should be some ill result from it," said Silvia

-apprehensively.

-

-"Don't you worry!" exclaimed Huldah. "Most likely it won't amount to

-anything. It'll take some new kind of scabs to work in these brats.

-They're too tough to take anything. Come on now with me," she

-commanded, "and after it's done, I'll get you each an ice cream

-sody."

-

-Through Huldah's efficiency the vaccination was quickly accomplished

-and the children of our neighbor were reluctantly accepted by the

-school authorities.

-

-The Polydores were not parted by reason of dissimilarity of age or

-learning, as they were put into the ungraded room. To keep them there

-enrolled taxed to the utmost our ingenuity in the way of framing

-excuses for their repeated cases of tardiness and suspension.

-

-Silvia felt a little remorseful when she listened to the tale of woe

-recited to her by their teacher at a card party one Saturday

-afternoon.

-

-"She said," my wife repeated, "that yesterday Pythagoras brought two

-mice to school in his marble-bag and let them loose. She doesn't

-believe in corporal punishment, but she determined to experiment with

-its effect on Pythagoras, so she kept him and Emerald, who was

-slightly implicated, after school and sent the latter out to get a

-whip. When he came back he said: 'I couldn't find any stick, but

-here's some rocks you can throw at him,' and handed her a hat full of

-stones. This made her too hysterical to try her experiment, so she

-took away his recess for a week."

-

-"We ought to make her a present," I observed.

-

-"She said," continued Silvia, "that they had given her nervous

-prostration, but she had no time to prostrate, and if she didn't

-succeed in getting them graded by the coming fall term, she should

-accept an offer of marriage she had received from a cross-eyed man,

-and you know how unlucky that would be, Lucien!"

-

-"We may be driven to worse things than that by fall," I replied

-ruefully.

-

-

-

-

-CHAPTER IV

-

-_In Which We Take Boarders_

-

-

-Four weeks of unalloyed bliss and then the summer vacation times

-arrived, bringing joy to the heart of the Polydores and the teacher of

-the ungraded room, but deep gloom to the hearthside of the Wades.

-

-One misfortune always brings another. A rival applicant received

-the coveted attorneyship and we bade a sad farewell to piano,

-saddle-horse, automobile and journey, the furnishings to our Little

-House of Dreams.

-

-"I did want you to have a car, Lucien," sighed Silvia, regretfully,

-"and you worked so hard this last year, you need a trip. Won't you go

-somewhere with Rob--without me?"

-

-I assured her it would be no vacation without her.

-

-"Do you know, Lucien," she proposed diffidently, "I think it would be

-an excellent plan to invite Uncle Issachar to visit us. He knows no

-more about children than I do--than I did, I mean, and if he should

-see the Polydores he'd give us five thousand each for the children we

-didn't have."

-

-I wouldn't consent to this plan. I had met Uncle Issachar once. He was

-a crusty old bachelor with a morbid suspicion that everyone was

-working him for his money. I don't wonder he thought so. He had no

-other attractions.

-

-Perceiving the strength of my opposition Silvia sweetly and

-sagaciously refrained from further pressure.

-

-"We should not repine," she said. "We have health and happiness and

-love. What are pianos and cars and trips compared to such assets?"

-

-What, indeed! I admitted that things might be worse.

-

-Alas! All too soon was my statement substantiated. That night after we

-had gone to bed, I heard a taxicab sputtering away at the house next

-door.

-

-"The Polydores must have unexpected guests," I remarked.

-

-"I trust they brought no children with them," murmured Silvia

-drowsily.

-

-The next morning while we were at breakfast, the odor of June roses

-wafting in through the open window, the delicious flavor of red-ripe

-strawberries tickling our palate, and the anticipation of rice

-griddle-cakes exhilarating us, the millennium came.

-

-For the five young Polydores bore down upon us _en masse_.

-

-"Father and mother have gone away," proclaimed Ptolemy, who was always

-spokesman for the quintette.

-

-This intelligence was of no particular interest to us--not then, at

-least. We rarely saw father and mother Polydore, and they were

-apparently of no need to their offspring.

-

-Ptolemy's next announcement, however, was startling and effective in

-its dramatic intensity.

-

-"We've come over to stay with you while they are away."

-

-I laughed; jocosely, I thought.

-

-Silvia paid no heed to my forced hilarity, but ejaculated gaspingly:

-

-"Why, what do you mean!"

-

-"They have gone away somewhere," enlightened our oracle. "They went to

-the train last night in a taxi. They have gone somewhere to find out

-something about some kind of aborigines."

-

-"Which reminds me," I remarked reminiscently, "of the man who traveled

-far and vainly in search of a certain plant which, on his return, he

-found growing beside his own doorstep."

-

-Silvia paid no heed to my misplaced pleasantry. She was right--as

-usual. It was no time for levity.

-

-"I don't see," spoke my unappreciative wife, addressing Ptolemy, "why

-their absence should make any difference in your remaining at home.

-Gladys can cook your meals and put Diogenes to bed as usual."

-

-"Gladys has gone," piped Demetrius. "She left yesterday afternoon. She

-was only staying till she could get her pay."

-

-"Father forgot to get another girl in her place," informed Ptolemy,

-"and he forgot to tell mother he had forgotten until just before they

-went to the train. She said it didn't matter--that we could just as

-well come over here and stay with you."

-

-"She said," added Pythagoras, "that you were so crazy over children,

-that probably you'd be glad to have us stay with you all the time."

-

-My last strawberry remained poised in mid-air. It was quite apparent

-to me now that there was nothing funny about this situation.

-

-"Milk, milk!" whimpered Diogenes, pulling at Silvia's dress and making

-frantic efforts to reach the cream pitcher.

-

-Huldah had come in with the griddle-cakes during this avalanche of

-news.

-

-"Here, all you kids!" commanded our field marshal, as she picked up

-Diogenes, "beat it to the kitchen, and I'll give you some breakfast.

-Hustle up!"

-

-The Polydores, whose eyes were bulging with expectancy and

-semi-starvation, tumbled over each other in their eagerness to "hustle

-up and beat it to the kitchen." Our oiler of troubled waters followed,

-and there was assurance of a brief lull.

-

-"What shall we do!" I exclaimed helplessly when the door had closed on

-the last Polydore. I felt too limp and impotent to cope with the

-situation. Not so Silvia.

-

-"Do!" she echoed with an intensity of tone and feeling I had never

-known her to display. "Do! We'll do something, I am sure! I will not

-for a moment submit to such an imposition. Who ever heard of such

-colossal nerve! That father and mother should be brought back and

-prosecuted. I shall report them to the Society for the Prevention of

-Cruelty to Children. But we won't wait for such procedure. We'll

-express each and every Polydore to them at once."

-

-"I should certainly do that P.D.Q. and C.O.D.," I acquiesced, "if the

-Polydore parents could be located, but you know the abodes of

-aborigines are many and scattered."

-

-My remarks seemed to fall as flat as the flapjacks I was siruping.

-

-Silvia arose, determination in every lineament and muscle, and crossed

-the room. She opened the door leading into the kitchen.

-

-"Ptolemy," she demanded, "where have your father and mother gone?"

-

-He came forward and replied in a voice somewhat smothered by cakes and

-sirup.

-

-"I don't know. They didn't say."

-

-"We can find out from the ticket-agent," I optimistically assured

-her.

-

-"They never bother to buy tickets. Pay on the train," Ptolemy

-explained.

-

-My legal habit of counter-argument asserted itself.

-

-"We can easily ascertain to what point their baggage was checked," I

-remarked, again essaying to maintain a rôle of good cheer.

-

-But the pessimistic Ptolemy was right there with another of his

-gloom-casting retaliations.

-

-"They only took suit-cases and they always keep them in the car.

-Here's a check father said to give you to pay for our board. He said

-you could write in any amount you wanted to."

-

-"He got a lot of dough yesterday," informed Pythagoras, "and he put

-half of it in the bank here."

-

-Ptolemy handed over a check which was blank except for Felix

-Polydore's signature.

-

-"I don't see," I weakly exclaimed when my wife had closed the kitchen

-door, "why she put them off on _us_. Why didn't she trade her brats

-off for antiques?"

-

-Silvia eyed the check wistfully. I could read the unspoken thought

-that here, perhaps, was the opportunity for our much-desired trip.

-

-"No, Silvia," I answered quickly, "not for any number of blank checks

-or vacation trips shall you have the care and annoyance of those wild

-Comanches."

-

-"I know what I'll do!" she exclaimed suddenly. "I'll go right down to

-the intelligence office and get anything in the shape of a maid and

-put her in charge of the Polydore caravansary with double wages and

-every night out and any other privileges she requests."

-

-This seemed a sane and sensible arrangement, and I wended my way to

-my office feeling that we were out of the woods.

-

-When I returned home at noon, I found that we had only exchanged the

-woods for water--and deep water at that.

-

-I beheld a strange sight. Silvia sat by our bedroom window twittering

-soft, cooing nonsensical nothings to Diogenes, who was clasped in her

-arms, his flushed little face pressed close to her shoulder.

-

-"He's been quite ill, Lucien. I was frightened and called the doctor.

-He said it was only the slight fever that children are subject to. He

-thought with good care that he'd be all right in a few days."

-

-"Did you succeed in getting a cook to go to the Polydores?" I asked

-anxiously. "You'll need a nurse to go there, too, to take care of

-Diogenes."

-

-She looked at me reproachfully and rebukingly.

-

-"Why, Lucien! You don't suppose I could send this sick baby back to

-that uninviting house with only hired help in charge! Besides, I don't

-believe he'd stay with a stranger. He seems to have taken a fancy to

-me."

-

-Diogenes confirmed this belief by a languid lifting of his eyelids, as

-he feelingly patted her cheek with his baby fingers.

-

-I forebore to suggest that the fancy seemed to be mutual. Diogenes,

-sick, was no longer an "imp of the devil", but a normal, appealing

-little child. It occurred to me that possibly the care of a sick

-Polydore might develop Silvia's tiny germ of child-ken.

-

-"Keep him here of course," I agreed, "but--the other children must

-return home."

-

-"Diogenes would miss them," she said quickly, "and the doctor says his

-whims must be humored while he is sick. He is almost asleep now. I

-think he will let me put him down in his own little bed. Ptolemy

-brought it over here. Pull back the covers for me, Lucien. There!"

-

-Diogenes half opened his eyes, as she laid him in the bed and smiled

-wanly.

-

-"Mudder!" he cooed.

-

-Silvia flushed and looked as if she dreaded some expression of mirth

-from me. Relieved by my silence and a suggestion of moisture in the

-region of my eyes--the day was quite warm--she confessed:

-

-"He has called me that all the morning."

-

-"It would be a wise Polydore that knows its own parents," I observed.

-

-The slight illness of Diogenes lasted three or four days. I still

-shudder to recall the memory of that hideous period. Silvia's time and

-attention were devoted to the sick child. Huldah was putting in all

-her leisure moments at the dentist's, where she was acquiring her

-third set of teeth, and joy rode unconfined and unrestrained with our

-"boarders."

-

-Polydore proclivities made the Reign of Terror formerly known as the

-French Revolution seem like an ice cream festival. I don't regard

-myself as a particularly nervous man, but there's a limit! Their war

-whoops and screeches got on my nerves and temper to the extent of

-sending me into their midst one evening brandishing a whip and

-commanding immediate silence. I got it. Not through fear of

-chastisement, for fear was an emotion unknown to a Polydore, but from

-astonishment at so unexpected a procedure from so unexpected a source.

-Heretofore I had either ignored them or frolicked with them. Before

-they had recovered from their shock, Silvia appeared on the scene.

-

-"Diogenes," she informed them, "was not used to such unwonted quiet,

-and was fretting at the unaccustomed stillness. Would the boys please

-play Indian or some of their games again?"

-

-The boys would. I backed from the room, the whip behind me, carefully

-kept without Silvia's angle of vision. Before Ptolemy resumed his rôle

-of chief, he bestowed a knowing and maddening wink upon me.

-

-I wished that we had remained neighbor-less. I wished that the

-aborigines would scalp Felix Polydore and the writer of Modern

-Antiquities. Then we could land their brats on the Probate Court. I

-wished that this were the reign of Herod. I vowed I would backslide

-from the Presbyterian faith since it no longer included in its

-articles of belief the eternal damnation of infants. How long, O

-Catiline, would--

-

-A paralyzing suspicion flashed into the maelstrom of my vituperative

-maledictions. I rushed wildly upstairs to our combination bedroom,

-sickroom, and nursery, where Silvia sat like a guardian angel beside

-the Polydore patient.

-

-"Silvia," I shouted excitedly, "do you suppose those diabolical

-Polydore parents purposely played this trick on us? Was it a

-premeditated Polydore plan to abandon their young? And can you blame

-them for playing us for easy marks? Could any parents, Polydore, or

-otherwise, ever come back to such fiends as these?"

-

-"Hush!" she cautioned, without so much as a glance in my direction.

-"You'll wake Diogenes!"

-

-Wake Diogenes! Ye Gods! And she had also implored the brothers of

-Diogenes to continue their anvil chorus! This took the last stitch of

-starch from my manly bosom. Spiritless and spineless I bore all

-things, believed all things--but hoped for nothing.

-

-

-

-

-CHAPTER V

-

-_In Which We Take a Vacation_

-

-

-Diogenes finally convalesced to his former state of ruggedness and

-obstreperousness. He continued, however, to cling to Silvia and to

-call her "mudder." To my amusement the other children followed suit

-and she was now "muddered" by all the Polydores.

-

-"I am glad," I remarked, "that they scorn to include me in their

-adoption. I wouldn't fancy being 'faddered' by the Polydores."

-

-"You won't be," Ptolemy, appearing seemingly from nowhere, assured me.

-"We've named you stepdaddy."

-

-"If it be possible, Silvia," I implored, "let this cup pass from me."

-

-"I am going down to the intelligence office today," replied Silvia

-soothingly. "Diogenes is well enough to go home now, and I can run

-over there every evening and see that he is properly put to bed."

-

-I went down town feeling like a mule relieved of his pack.

-

-When I came home that afternoon, I found Silvia sitting on the shaded

-porch serenely sewing. A Sabbath-like stillness pervaded. Not a

-Polydore in sight or sound.

-

-"Oh!" I cried buoyantly. "The Polydores have been returned to their

-home station!"

-

-"No," she replied calmly. "They told me at the intelligence office

-that it would be absolutely impossible to persuade, bribe, or hire a

-servant to assume the charge of the Polydore place."

-

-"I suppose," I said glumly, "that Gladys gave the job a double cross.

-But will you please account for the phenomenon of the utter absence of

-Polydores at the present period? Has Huldah at last carried out her

-oft-repeated threat of exterminating the Polydore race?"

-

-"Pythagoras," explained Silvia dejectedly, "has gone to the doctor's.

-He broke his wrist this morning. Diogenes is lost and Emerald has gone

-to look for him--"

-

-"Oh, why hunt him up?" I remonstrated. "Maybe Emerald, too, will get

-lost or strayed or stolen."

-

-"Huldah," continued Silvia, "has locked Demetrius in the cellar. I am

-unable to report on Ptolemy. Huldah is half sick, but she won't go to

-bed. She said no beds in Bedlamite for her. But I have a wonderful

-plan to suggest. There is relief in sight if you will consent."

-

-"I will consent to any committable crime on the calendar," I assured

-her, "that will lead to the parting of the Polydore path from ours.

-Divulge."

-

-"We both need a change and rest. Today I heard of a most alluring,

-inexpensive, unfrequented resort called Hope Haven. Unfashionable,

-fine fishing, beautiful scenery, twelve miles from a railroad, and a

-stage stops there but once a day."

-

-"If there is such a place, we'll go there at once, though why such an

-enticing spot should be unfrequented is beyond me. Do we leave the

-Polydores to their fate, or as a town charge?"

-

-"We'll leave them to Huldah. She offered to keep them here if we'd

-take the outing. She said she'd either give them free rein or beat

-their brains out."

-

-"Then I see where the Polydores land in a juvenile jail, or else I

-return to defend Huldah for a charge of murder. We'll take our

-departure by night--tomorrow night--and like the Arabs, or the

-Polydore parents, silently steal away."

-

-"Lucien," said Silvia constrainedly, when we had arranged the details

-of our plan, "if you wouldn't object too much, I should like to take

-Diogenes with us. He hasn't missed his mother, but I really believe

-he'd be homesick without me."

-

-"Take him, of course," I said. "He's manageable away from the others.

-I plainly see you've formed the Polydore habit, and maybe a partial

-parting from the Polydores would be wiser, but we'll take Diogenes as

-an antidote against too perfect a time. But I forgot to tell you that

-I had a letter from Rob today. He plans to come and make his visit

-now and will arrive next Monday. I'll write him to join us at Hope

-Haven. You must write down again for me the route we take to get

-there."

-

-Silvia laughed hopelessly.

-

-"It never rains but it pours. I had a letter from Beth this afternoon,

-and she says she would like to come to us now. She arrives Monday.

-Here is her letter."

-

-"Great minds! It is quite a coincidence," I declared.

-

-"I thought it would be so nice to have Beth go with us to this

-resort."

-

-"It can't be done," I said. "That is, they can't both go. I am not

-going to let even Rob Rossiter slight my sister."

-

-"Still it would be a triumph to have her change his mind--or his

-heart. You know a woman-hater always succumbs to the right girl."

-

-"In books, yes!"

-

-I had been scanning Beth's letter and I laughed derisively as I read

-aloud: "'I am so curious to see those next-door children. When you

-first wrote of the "Polydores" I never once thought of them as

-children.'"

-

-"She thought exactly right," I told Silvia, and then continued

-reading: "'I supposed them to be something like tadpoles or polliwogs.

-I really think I shall enjoy them.'"

-

-"It would serve her right," I said, "to let her come and stay with

-them here in our absence. She'd get the cure for enjoyment all right.

-Rob wrote of them in the same strain and says he, too, is curious to

-meet the missing links."

-

-"Does she know," asked Silvia, "how Rob regards women?"

-

-"No; I've always made some excuse to her for not having them meet. I

-didn't want to hear her make disparaging remarks about him, and she

-is such a flirt, she'd try to draw him out and he would shut up like a

-clam."

-

-"Well, I think," decided Silvia, "that the best way out of it is to

-write Rob to postpone his visit and I will write Beth to come direct

-to Hope Haven."

-

-"Yes," I agreed, "that will be fine. She shall have charge of dear

-little Di and study the evolutions of the Polydores later."

-

-I approved this plan. So we wrote our letters and stealthily, but

-joyously, prepared for our getaway, leaving the house like thieves in

-the night and bearing the sleeping cherub, Diogenes.

-

-Silvia sighed in relief when we were aboard the train.

-

-"I feel quite chesty," she declared, "at being smart enough to outwit

-Ptolemy, the wizard."

-

-"I have the feeling," I observed forebodingly, "that they may be on

-the train or underneath it."

-

-The next morning we reached Windy Creek, the station nearest our

-destination, and continued our journey by stage.

-

-"People will think you have consoled yourself very speedily for the

-death of your first husband," I observed, as we were en route.

-

-"Why, what do you mean, Lucien?"

-

-"You know Diogenes addresses me as stepdaddy. It is the only word he

-speaks plainly."

-

-"Oh!" she exclaimed in perturbation, "I never thought of that! Well,

-we can explain to everyone, or I'll teach them to leave off the

-'step.'"

-

-"Not on your life!" I demurred.

-

-"He had better call you Lucien, then. Emerald calls his father

-'Felix.'"

-

-She at once began her tutelage of the bewildered Diogenes. After

-several stabs at pronouncing Lucien he managed to evolve "Ocean" to

-which he sometimes affixed "step" so that people to whom he was not

-explained doubtless thought me the latest thing in dances.

-

-Hope Haven was like most resorts--a place safe to shun. There was a

-low, flat stretch of woods in which a clearing had been made for a

-barn-like structure called a hotel, with rooms rough and not always

-ready. The beautiful recreation grounds mentioned in the advertising

-matter consisted of a plowed field worked over into a space designated

-as a tennis court and a grass-grown croquet ground.

-

-"Anyway," claimed Silvia hopefully, "it's a treat to see woods, water,

-and sky unconfined."

-

-She devoted the remainder of the morning to unpacking and after

-luncheon set off to explore the woods, borrowing from the landlady a

-little cart for Diogenes to ride in. My plan to go in swimming was

-delayed by my garrulous landlord.

-

-I was just starting for the lake when I heard sounds from the woods

-that alarmed the landlord but which I instantly recognized as the

-Polydore yell. A moment later I saw Silvia emerging at full speed into

-the open, drawing the cart in which Diogenes was doubled up like a

-jackknife. I hastened to meet them.

-

-"Oh, Lucien," exclaimed my wife tearfully, "we are bitten to bits!

-Just look at poor little Di!"

-

-I lifted the howling child from the cart. His face, neck, and hands

-were stringy and purplish--a cross between an eggplant and a round

-steak.

-

-"Mosquitoes!" explained Silvia. "They came in flocks and they

-advertised particularly 'no mosquitoes.'"

-

-A dour-faced guest paused in passing.

-

-"There aren't--many," she declared. "Very few, in fact, compared to

-the number of black flies, sand fleas, and jiggers. However, you'll

-find more discomfort from the poison ivy, I imagine."

-

-"Lucien," began Silvia in lament.

-

-"Never mind!" I hastened to console, "you are out of the woods now,

-and you won't have to go in again. I presume they have an antidote up

-at the house. I'll give you and Diogenes first aid and then we will

-all go down to the lake shore. You can both sit on the dock and watch

-me swim."

-

-They both brightened up, and when we reached the hotel the landlady

-provided a soothing lotion for the bites and stings.

-

-By the time we had started for the lake, the afflicted two were in

-holiday spirit again.

-

-I sought cover in a small shed called a bath-house and got into my

-swimming outfit and shot out from the dipping end of the diving-board

-into the water. When I came to the surface, Silvia, sitting beside

-Diogenes on the dock, shrieked wildly.

-

-"Oh, Lucien, there are snakes all around you! Come out, quick!"

-

-"They are only water snakes," I assured her.

-

-"I don't care what kind they are. They are snakes just the same."

-

-Diogenes instantly began to bellow for me to hand him a snake to play

-with.

-

-"He recognizes his own," I told Silvia, who, however, saw nothing

-amusing in my implication.

-

-When I came out of the water, the temperature had climbed several

-degrees and we were glad to seek the hotel parlor, which was cool and

-damp.

-

-After dinner Silvia put Diogenes to bed and we sat out on the veranda.

-I was enjoying my evening smoke and the feel of the night wind in my

-face. Silvia had just finished telling me that merely to be away from

-the Polydores was Paradise enough for her, and that she didn't care

-very much about the woods, anyway--the lake was sufficient, when her

-optimism was rudely jolted by the shrill, shudder-sending song of the

-festive mosquito.

-

-She fled into the parlor. The landlady, who seemed to have a panacea

-for all ills, suggested that she might tack mosquito netting around

-the little balcony extending from our bedroom, and then she could sit

-there in comfort when the mosquitoes bothered.

-

-"That's what the last lady that had that room did," she said, "but

-when she left, she took the netting with her. We keep a supply in our

-little store."

-

-Silvia immediately sought the hotel store and bought a quantity of the

-netting and a goodly stock of the mosquito lotion.

-

-That night as I was drifting into slumber, Silvia remarked: "Only one

-of the things I heard and read about this place is true."

-

-"Which one?" I asked between winks.

-

-"That it was unfrequented. I have seen only three guests besides us so

-far. How do they make it pay?"

-

-"The hotel is evidently only a side issue," I replied.

-

-"To what?"

-

-"To the store. Think of the quantities of lotion and netting they must

-sell in the season, which, you must know, is in the fall. The hunting,

-the landlord tells me, is very good, and his hotel is quite popular

-in October and November."

-

-"I think we had better stay, Lucien. Mosquitoes don't poison you."

-

-"Even if they did," I declared, "as a choice between them and the

-Polydores I would say, 'Oh, Mosquito, where is thy sting?'"

-

-

-

-

-CHAPTER VI

-

-_A Flirt and a Woman-Hater_

-

-

-The next morning I arose early and screened in the little birdhouse

-balcony. There was a large piece of netting left and Silvia converted

-it into a robe and headgear for the swaddling of Diogenes.

-

-"He looks like the Bride of Lammermoor," I declared, as he went forth

-in this regalia.

-

-"Well, that's preferable to looking like a pest-house patient, as he

-did yesterday."

-

-His first-aid costume didn't find favor with the landlady, as it would

-seem indicative to the newly arrived of the features of the place.

-However, before another stage-coming was due, Di had rent his garment

-sufficiently to make it useless is a "skeeter skirt."

-

-During the morning I enjoyed my solitary swim with the snakes.

-Diogenes played football with the croquet balls and bruised one of his

-toes, besides hitting the landlady's child in the eye. Silvia went for

-a walk which had been pictured in the advertisements. She speedily

-returned, her ardor dampened.

-

-"There are so many sticks and stones and rocks," she said in a

-discouraged tone, "that there was no pleasure in walking. I nearly

-sprained my ankle."

-

-"Well, the real sport we haven't tried yet," I said. "We'll get a boat

-and take Diogenes and go for a row on the lake."

-

-This proposition met with instant favor. I put Silvia and Diogenes in

-the stern of the boat and pulled for the opposite shore. My endeavors

-to gain this point were balked by Silvia's remarkable conceptions of

-the art of steering craft. She was so serenely satisfied, however,

-with the way she performed her duties and the aid she thought she was

-giving me, that I forbore to criticize.

-

-In order to achieve a few strokes in the right direction, I asked her

-to get me a cigar from an inside pocket of my coat, which was on the

-seat in front of her. Then came the blight to our bliss. She looked in

-the wrong pocket and instead of producing a cigar, she extracted two

-letters with seals unbroken.

-

-[Illustration: "Lucien Wade!" she gasped. "Here are our letters to Beth

-and Rob."]

-

-"Lucien Wade!" she gasped. "Here are our letters to Beth and Rob.

-Well, it is my fault. I should have known better than to give them to

-you."

-

-"The plot thickens," I replied thoughtfully.

-

-"This is Monday. They must both be at the house now. What will they

-think!"

-

-"They will think we didn't receive their letters."

-

-"Isn't it unfortunate--" she began.

-

-"No," I replied. "I am not sure but what it is a good thing. It will

-give Rob a jolt to see that girls can be as nice as Beth is, and as

-for her, she is quite able to take care of the situation where a man

-is concerned."

-

-"But we must have Beth here. Maybe you'd better telegraph her."

-

-"Huldah understands conditions. She will send Beth on here."

-

-The next morning we took Diogenes and went down the road to meet the

-stage. As it came around the curve, we saw there were three

-passengers.

-

-"Tolly!" cried Diogenes with an ecstatic whoop.

-

-"Beth!" recognized Silvia.

-

-"Rob!" I ejaculated.

-

-The stage stopped to allow us to get in.

-

-Mutual explanations followed. Ours were brief and substantiated by the

-documents in evidence.

-

-"Now," I said turning threateningly to Ptolemy, "what did you come

-here for?"

-

-"To show them," indicating Beth and Rob, "how to get here and to look

-after Di so you and mudder could enjoy your vacation," he replied

-glibly.

-

-Beth laughed mirthfully.

-

-"Check! Lucien."

-

-"Didn't Huldah warn you," I asked her, "that our whereabouts were to

-remain unknown?"

-

-"Ptolemy," she replied, "is evidently a mind reader, for he told me

-where you were before I saw Huldah."

-

-"Why, Ptolemy, how did you know where we were?" asked Silvia.

-

-"I was on top of the porch when you told stepdaddy about coming. I

-didn't tell the others. I won't bother you any. And I know how to look

-after Di. You won't send me back, mudder," he pleaded, looking

-wistfully at the foam-crested water of the little lake.

-

-I wondered mutely if Silvia could resist the appeal in the eyes of the

-neglected boy when he turned his imploring gaze to hers, and the

-delight depicted in Diogenes' eyes at "Tolly's" arrival. She could

-not.

-

-"You may stay as long as we do," she said slowly, "if you are a good

-boy and will not play too rough with Diogenes."

-

-We had reached the hotel by this time, and with a wild "ki yi"

-Ptolemy dashed for the shore, dragging the delighted Diogenes with

-him.

-

-"It's only fair to Huldah to take one more off her hands," Silvia said

-apologetically.

-

-"Them Three is what bothers me," I complained. "If they, too, follow

-after, Heaven help them! I won't."

-

-"It's a good arrangement all around," declared Rob. "I judge it takes

-a Polydore to understand his ilk, so the kids can pair off together.

-Miss Wade will be company for you, while Lucien and I go fishing."

-

-He looked keenly at Beth as he spoke, but Beth was looking demurely

-down and made no sign of having heard him.

-

-Silvia and I went with Beth to her room, and then she told her story.

-

-"Knowing Lucien's failing, I was not surprised at receiving no

-response to my letter. When I got out of the cab in front of your

-house, a wild-looking boy, very bas-relief as to eyes, and who I felt

-sure must be Ptolemy of the Polydores, appeared. As soon as he saw me

-he gave utterance to a blood-curdling yell of--'Here she is!'

-

-"In response to his call three of his understudies came on with

-headlong greeting.

-

-"'You are Beth, aren't you?' Ptolemy asked me. Then he drew me aside

-and in mysterious whispers told me where you were and that you had

-written me to join you here. He added that stepdaddy never remembered

-to mail letters. I went within and interviewed Huldah who confirmed

-his information.

-

-"Presently I saw a taxi stop before the house.

-

-"'That's him!' exclaimed Ptolemy.

-

-"'Him who?' I asked.

-

-"'Rob somebody--stepdaddy's college chum. He wrote he was coming, and

-they thought they had postponed him.'

-

-"With a sprint of speed the four Polydores surrounded your Mr.

-Rossiter, all talking at once. I came to the rescue, of course, and

-explained the situation, and we decided to follow you.

-

-"Ptolemy was promoter for the trip and suggested the advisability of

-his accompanying us as courier and future nursemaid to Diogenes. He

-was intending to come anyway, but thought he'd wait for us. He had all

-his belongings packed."

-

-"He hasn't many except those he had on," said Silvia thoughtfully.

-

-"He has some swimming trunks, two collars, two shirts, some mismated

-socks, homemade fishing tackle and a battered baseball bat. We came

-away surreptitiously to escape detection by the trio left behind. I

-knew you wouldn't welcome his presence--but he said he was coming

-anyway, so we thought we might as well bring him and express him

-back."

-

-After visiting with Beth for a few moments, Silvia and I withdrew to

-talk matters over confidentially.

-

-"All's well that ends well," I quoth.

-

-"It hasn't ended yet," reminded Silvia. "I trust Ptolemy didn't reveal

-what you said about Rob's being a woman-hater and Beth a flirt."

-

-Ptolemy conveniently appeared just then, as he generally did in the

-midst of private interviews. Silvia asked him if he had repeated those

-remarks to Beth or Rob.

-

-"Why, no," he said. "I knew you didn't want her to know, because

-stepdaddy said so, and I thought he wouldn't like to be called that,

-and I wasn't going to give Beth away to him."

-

-"You're all right, Ptolemy!" I exclaimed, for the first time awarding

-him approbation.

-

-Out on the veranda we met Rob.

-

-"Say, those Polydores certainly have the punch and pep," he declared.

-"I'd like to have fetched the whole bunch along with me."

-

-"If you had," I replied dryly, "our life's friendship would have died

-on the spot."

-

-

-

-

-CHAPTER VII

-

-_In Which Nothing Much Happens_

-

-

-"Why Hope Haven?" asked Rob reflectively, when he had taken inventory

-of the possibilities of the resort.

-

-"Because," sighed Silvia, "so many hopes--vacation hopes--must have

-been buried here."

-

-Rob was of an investigating turn of mind, however, and he had heard

-from a native of H. H., as he had abbreviated the place, that there

-was a smaller lake, abounding in fish, farther on through the forest.

-It was so strongly fortified, however, by the formidable battalions of

-sharp-shooting insects that but few fishermen had ever been able to

-lay siege to it.

-

-Rob and I being poison proof decided to try our luck and pitch camp

-for a few days on the shores of this hidden treasure. As we had to

-send to town by the stage driver for the necessary supplies, we

-remained in H. H. the remainder of the day.

-

-We at once paired off in Noah's most approved style as Rob had

-outlined. Beth and Ptolemy went up shore, sticks and stones and rocks

-being no obstacles to their feet. Rob and I sought the society of the

-snakes, while Silvia and Diogenes, mosquito-netted, watched a game of

-croquet.

-

-We dined without the pleasure of the society of Ptolemy and Diogenes,

-who had been invited to sit at the table with the landlady's

-children. I might state, incidentally, that the invitation was never

-repeated.

-

-Beth was quite excited over her walk.

-

-"Ptolemy and I," she boasted, "made more of a discovery than Mr.

-Rossiter did. We found a haunted house, a perfectly haunted house."

-

-"I am not surprised," declared Silvia. "You couldn't expect any other

-kind of a house in such a region."

-

-"Where is it?" I asked, "and what is it haunted by?"

-

-"Insects," suggested Silvia.

-

-"You go around shore about two miles, only it's farther, as you have

-to make so many ups and downs over the rocks. Then you leave the shore

-and go through a low marshy stretch, sort of a Dismal Swamp, and then

-up a hill. After Ptolemy and I climbed to the top, we looked down and

-saw, hidden in a clump of lonely looking poplars, a small, rudely

-built house. We went down to explore and had hard work making our way

-through a thick growth of--everything. We crawled under some tangled

-vines and came up on the steps. The house was vacant, although there

-were a few old pieces of furniture--a couple of cots, a cook-stove,

-table, and chairs.

-

-"On our way home we met a woman who gave us a history of the house. An

-old miser lived there long ago. One night he was robbed and murdered,

-and his ghost still haunts the place. No one ventures in its vicinity,

-and she said most likely we were the first people who had gone there

-since the tragedy. She told us of a nearer way to reach it. You take

-the road to Windy Creek, and about two miles below here, turn into a

-lane and then go through a grove and over a hill."

-

-"You don't really believe the story, that is, the ghost part of it?"

-asked Rossiter.

-

-"N--o," allowed Beth. "Still, I'd like to. It makes it interesting.

-Ptolemy and I are going down there some night to see if we can find

-the ghost."

-

-"You won't see one," I assured her. "Ptolemy's presence would be

-sufficient to keep even a ghost in the background."

-

-"Ptolemy's a peach," declared Beth emphatically.

-

-"If he were older, you wouldn't think so," said Rob.

-

-"Why not?" asked Beth in surprise, or seeming surprise.

-

-He smiled enigmatically, and irrelevantly asked her if she wouldn't

-really be afraid to go to the haunted house at night with only Ptolemy

-for protection.

-

-She assured him she shouldn't be afraid of a ghost if she saw one, and

-that she shouldn't be afraid to go alone.

-

-Throughout the evening, which we spent in rowing, walking, and later

-at a little impromptu supper, I was interested in observing the

-puzzling behavior of Beth and my chum. I had expected that he would

-avoid her as much as possible and speak to her only when common

-politeness made conversation obligatory, and that she, a born

-coquette, would seek to add his scalp to her collection. Instead, to

-my surprise, their rôles were reversed. He appeared interested in her

-every remark and looked at her often and intently. He was quite

-assiduous in his attentions which, strange to say, she discouraged,

-not with the deep design of a flirt to increase his ardor, but with a

-calm firmness that admitted of no doubt as to her feelings.

-

-"Your sister," he remarked to me as we were walking down to the lake

-for a swim just before going to bed, "is a very unusual type."

-

-"Not at all!" I assured him. "Beth is the true feminine type which you

-have never taken the trouble to know."

-

-"Oh, come, Lucien! Not feminine, you know. Though she is inconsistent."

-

-I resented the imputation hotly, but he only laughed and said that he

-guessed it was true that a man didn't understand the women in his

-family as well as an outsider did.

-

-"You think," I said, "just because she says she isn't afraid of

-ghosts--"

-

-"Not at all," he denied. "That wasn't the reason, but--I like her

-type, though I always supposed I wouldn't. It is a new one to

-me--anyway. I didn't think so young a girl as she--"

-

-Our discussion was cut short by the inevitable, ever-present Ptolemy,

-who came running up to us, clad in about four inches of swimming

-trunks.

-

-"Why aren't you in bed?" I demanded.

-

-"I was in bed, but it was so warm I couldn't sleep, and I went to the

-window and saw you coming down here, so I thought I'd come, too."

-

-I repeated Rob's remarks to Silvia when I returned to our room, and

-she betrayed Beth's confidences in regard to Rob.

-

-"She says she would like him if it were not for one trait that she

-dislikes more than any other in a man and that it was sufficient in

-her estimation to counterbalance all his good qualities."

-

-"What can she mean?" I asked bewildered. "I don't see a flaw in Rob,

-except for his being a woman-hater, and he surely hasn't betrayed that

-fact to her, judging from his manner toward her. I think he is making

-an effort to be nice to her on my account, and she doesn't appreciate

-it."

-

-"I asked her what the flaw was, and she flushed and said she couldn't

-tell me."

-

-"Well, I guess all around it is a good thing we are going off on our

-fishing expedition. I don't want my friend turned down by my sister,

-and I don't want my friend calling my sister a new type and

-unfeminine."

-

-

-

-

-CHAPTER VIII

-

-_Ptolemy Disappears and I Visit a Haunted House_

-

-

-When Rob and I, with our camping outfit, drove off through the woods,

-Ptolemy's eyes followed us so enviously and he pleaded so eloquently

-to be taken with us that Rob was actually on the point of considering

-it.

-

-"See here, Rob Rossiter!" I exclaimed, "This is my vacation and all I

-came to this God-forsaken place for was to escape the Polydores. If he

-goes, I stay. You know I've always tried to meet issues, but this

-antique family has got me going."

-

-"All right," he yielded.

-

-After a drive of a few miles we came to the lake and pitched our tent.

-Two days of ideal camp life followed. The weather was fine, Rob was a

-first-class cook, and the sport was beyond our most optimistic

-expectation. We landed enough of the Friday food to satisfy the most

-fastidious fishing fiend, and the mosquitoes, finding we were

-impervious to their stings, finally let us alone.

-

-I forgot all business cares and disappointments, yes, even the

-Polydores; but on the morning of the third day Rob began to show signs

-of restlessness and spoke of the likelihood of my wife's being

-lonely.

-

-"Not with Beth and Ptolemy in calling distance," I told him.

-

-"But they will be off together," he replied, "and your wife will be

-alone with that _enfant terrible_. I fancy, too, that your sister

-isn't exactly a companion for your wife."

-

-"Well, that shows how little you know her. She and Silvia are great

-friends."

-

-"Oh, yes, of course they are friendly, but I mean their tastes are so

-different, and they are so unlike. Your sister doesn't care for

-domesticity."

-

-"Sure she does. You have turned the wrong searchlight on Beth. If you

-knew her, you'd like her."

-

-"I do like her," he declared. "It's too bad she--"

-

-He stopped abruptly and quickly changed the conversation. In spite of

-my efforts to renew the controversy about Beth, he refused to return

-to the subject.

-

-[Illustration: He pleaded eloquently to be taken with us.]

-

-In the afternoon, when I was doing a little scale work preparatory to

-cooking, a messenger from the hotel drove up with a note from Silvia

-which I read aloud:

-

-"Ptolemy has been missing for twenty-four hours. We are in hopes he

-has joined you. If not, what shall I do?"

-

-"We'll go back with you," said Rob to the man. "Just lend a hand here

-and help us pull up these tent stakes."

-

-"What's Ptolemy to me or I to him?" I asked with a groan, "can't we

-give him absent treatment?"

-

-"You're positively inhuman, Lucien," protested Rob. "The boy may be at

-the bottom of the lake."

-

-"Not he! He was born to be hung."

-

-All this time, however, I had been active in making preparations for

-departure, as I knew that Silvia would feel that we were responsible

-for Ptolemy's safety, and her anxiety was reason enough for me to

-hasten to her.

-

-Rob was quite jubilant on our return trip and declared that the fish

-came too easily and too plentifully to make it real sport, but I felt

-that I had another grudge to be charged up to the fateful family.

-

-We found Silvia pale from anxiety, Beth in tears, and Diogenes loudly

-clamoring for "Tolly." We learned that the afternoon before, Silvia

-and Beth had gone with the landlady for a ride, leaving Diogenes in

-Ptolemy's care, but on their return at dinner time, Diogenes was

-playing alone in the sandpile.

-

-Nothing was thought of Ptolemy's absence until bedtime, and they had

-then sent out searching parties to the woods and the lake shores.

-Finally it occurred to Beth that he might have gone to join Rob and

-me, so they sent the messenger to investigate.

-

-"He must be lost in the woods somewhere," said Beth tearfully, "and

-he will starve to death."

-

-Rob actually touched her hand in his distress at her grief.

-

-"Ptolemy is too smart to get lost anywhere," I declared. "He knows

-fully as much about woodcraft as he does about every other kind of

-craft. He's one of his mother's antiquities personified. But haven't

-you been able to find anyone who saw him after you went for your

-ride?"

-

-"No; even the hotel help were all out on the lake."

-

-"And he left Diogenes here, absolutely unguarded?"

-

-"Well!" admitted Silvia, "he tied Diogenes to a tree near the

-sandpile."

-

-"Then he must have gone away with malice aforethought," I said,

-"and Diogenes is the only one who knows anything about his last

-movements."

-

-I lifted the child to my knee, and speaking more gently to him than I

-had ever done, I asked:

-

-"Di, did you and Tolly play in the sandpile yesterday?"

-

-He was quite emphatic in his affirmative.

-

-"Well, tell Ocean: Did Tolly go away and leave you?"

-

-"Tolly goed away," he confirmed.

-

-"Oh, Lucien!" protested Beth, laughing. "He's too little to know what

-you are talking about or to remember."

-

-"Lucien's ruling passion strong in death," murmured Rob. "He can't

-help cross-examining the cradle even!"

-

-"Which way," I resumed, ignoring these interruptions, "did Tolly

-go--that way?" pointing towards the woods.

-

-"No! Tolly goed--" and he trailed off into his baby jargon which no

-one could understand, but he pointed to the lake.

-

-"What did he say when he went away; when he tied the rope around

-you?"

-

-"Bye-bye."

-

-"What else?"

-

-Diogenes' intentions to be communicative were certainly all right, but

-not a word was intelligible. As he kept picking at his dress and

-pointing to it, I finally prompted:

-

-"Did Tolly pin a paper to Di's dress?"

-

-"'m--h'--m."

-

-"Bravo, Lucien!" applauded Rob. "They say you can induce a witness to

-admit anything."

-

-"What did Di do with the paper?" I continued.

-

-The word he wanted evidently being beyond his vocabulary and speech,

-he made a rotary motion with his fist. The gesture conveyed nothing to

-our minds, but was instantly recognized and interpreted by the

-landlady's little girl, who said he meant a windmill such as she had

-sometimes made for him.

-

-"What did Di do with the windmill?" I asked.

-

-He pointed to the sandpile, which I investigated and found a stick

-planted therein. I pulled it up and saw a pin sticking in the end of

-it. Further excavation revealed a crumpled piece of paper on which was

-written in Ptolemy's round hand:

-

-  "Want to see kids. Am going home. Tell Beth I bet she dasent go to

-  the haunted house alone at night. Ptolemy."

-

-"Poor Huldah!" sighed Silvia.

-

-"I thought he was having the time of his life here," said Rob.

-

-"He was sore," declared Beth, "because you and Lucien wouldn't take

-him with you on the fishing trip. He was moping by himself all the

-morning."

-

-"Trying to think up some new deviltry," I theorized, "to make us feel

-bad."

-

-"No," asserted Silvia, "I think he really misses the boys. The

-Polydores, for all their scrappings, are very clannish. But how do you

-suppose he got down to Windy Creek?"

-

-"He could catch plenty of rides along the way, but what is puzzling me

-is how he got the money to pay his fare."

-

-"He seemed very well provided with cash," informed Rob. "I tried to

-pay for his ticket down here, but he insisted on buying it himself."

-

-Silvia worried so much about what might happen to him en route that

-after dinner I motored to Windy Creek with some tourists who had

-stopped at the hotel in passing.

-

-I called up long distance and after some delay got in communication

-with our house. Ptolemy himself answered and assured me he had arrived

-all "hunky doory", that Huldah, who was out on an errand, was "hunky

-doory", and that the kids were all "hunky doory." In fact, his

-cheerful tone indicated that the whole universe was in the beatific

-state described by his expressive adjective.

-

-I was really ripping mad at his taking French leave and so giving

-Silvia cause for her anxiety, but I forbore to reprimand him by word

-or tone, lest he get even by "coming back" literally. I did tell him

-how the loss of the note for twenty-four hours had caused a general

-excitement, but he felt no remorse for his share in the situation,

-blaming Diogenes entirely and bidding me "punch the kid's face" for

-unpinning the note.

-

-On my return from Windy Creek I was fortunate enough to fall in with a

-farmer who lived near the hotel. He was driving some sort of a machine

-he called an _autoo_. He was an old-timer in the vicinity and related

-the past, present, and pluperfect of all the residents on the route. I

-had a detailed and vivid account of the midnight visitor of the

-haunted house.

-

-"I'd jest naturally like to see what there is to it," he said. "Not

-that I am afeerd at all, only it's sort of spooky to go to a lonesome

-place like that all alone. If I could git some one to go with me, I'd

-tackle the job, but I vum if every time I perpose it to anyone they

-don't make some excuse."

-

-"I'm on," I declared. "I don't dread ghosts near as much as I do some

-living folks I know."

-

-"Right you air," chuckled the old man. "If you say so we'll go right

-off now jest as sure as shootin'. We may be ghosts ourselves

-tomorrow."

-

-I assured him I was quite ready to encounter the ghost, so he

-jubilantly turned the machine from the road into a grass-grown lane.

-We zigzagged for some distance and then got out and went on foot

-through a grove. The moon and the stars were half veiled by some

-light, misty clouds, so that the little house didn't show up very

-clearly, but as we came to the top of the hill, we saw something that

-shook even my well-behaved nerves.

-

-From a window in the roof-room extended a white arm and hand, with

-index finger pointing threateningly and directly toward us.

-

-My farmer friend turned quickly and fled toward the grove. I followed

-fleetly. "What's your rush?" I asked, when I had overtaken him.

-

-"I just happened to remember," he explained gaspingly, "that there's a

-pesky autoo thief in these 'ere parts. Bukins had his stole jest last

-night."

-

-The lights on his machine must have reassured him as to its safety

-when we emerged from the woods into the open, but he didn't lessen his

-speed. We got in the "autoo" and soon said good-by to the lane. At one

-time I believed it was good-by to everything, but at last we gained

-the highway, right side up.

-

-"Well!" I said, when we were running normally again on terra firma,

-"that was some little old ghost,--beckoned to us to come right in,

-too!"

-

-"You seen it then!" he exclaimed excitedly. "I'm mighty glad I had an

-eyewitness. Folks wouldn't believe me."

-

-"They probably won't believe me, either," I assured him. "I am a

-lawyer."

-

-"You don't tell me! Well, it did jest give me a start for a minute.

-I'd like to hev gone in and seen it nigh to, if I hadn't happened to

-think of this 'ere autoo. You see I ain't got it all paid for yet. I'm

-jest clean beat. You don't mind my takin' a leetle pull at a stone

-fence, do you?"

-

-"I guess not," I assented somewhat dubiously, however. "That was a

-rail fence we took a pull at back in the lane, wasn't it? Of course,

-if we shouldn't happen to clear the stone fence as well as we did the

-rail fence, it might be more disastrous."

-

-"Oh, land!" he said with a cackling laugh, "I ain't meanin' that kind

-of a fence. I mean the kind you--Say! You ain't one of them

-teetotalers, be you?"

-

-"Only in theory," I replied, "but this stone fence drink is a new one

-on me. What's it like?"

-

-He stopped the "autoo" and pulled a bottle from an inner pocket.

-

-"You kin taste it better than I kin tell it," he declared. "Take a

-pull--a condumned good one."

-

-I rarely imbibed, confining my indulgences to the demands of

-necessity, but I thought that the flight of Ptolemy, the ghostly

-encounter, and my Mazeppa--wild ride all combined to constitute an

-occasion adequate to call for a bracer in the shape of a stone fence,

-or anything he might produce.

-

-I took what I considered a "condumned good one" from the bottle and it

-nearly strangled me, but I followed the aged stranger's advice to take

-another to "cure the chokes" caused by the first one. On general

-principles I took a third and then reluctantly returned him the

-bottle.

-

-"Here's over the moon," he jovially exclaimed as he proceeded to make

-my attempt at a "condumned good one" appear most niggardly.

-

-"May I ask," I inquired when my feeling of nerve-tense strain had

-vanished, and I felt as if I were treading thin air, "just what is in

-a stone fence?"

-

-"Well, what do you think?" he asked slyly.

-

-"I think the very devil is in it," I replied.

-

-"Well, mebby," he admitted. "It's two-thirds hard cider and one-third

-whisky. It's a healthy, hearting drink and yet it has a leetle come

-back to it--a sort o' kick, you know. But this is where I live,"

-pointing to a farmhouse well back from the road, "but I am goin' to

-run you on to your tavern though."

-

-The hotel was dark, save for a light in my room. I invited him in, but

-he was anxious to "git hum and tell the folks", so I gave him some

-cigars and went in to "tell my folks."

-

-I found them in the room waiting for me. That is, Beth was in the

-room, sitting by the table and pretending to read. Silvia and Rob were

-out in the little balcony. They came inside as soon as they heard my

-voice.

-

-"Oh, was he there?" asked Silvia anxiously.

-

-"Yes," I replied. "He answered the telephone himself."

-

-I was feeling quite exhilarated by this time. My wife looked a perfect

-vision to me. Beth, I thought, was some sister, and Rob the best

-fellow in the world. Even the Polydores at long range, and under the

-ameliorating influence of stone fences, seemed like fine little

-fellows--rather active and strenuous, to be sure, but only as all

-wholesome children should be.

-

-Silvia was relieved at the announcement of Ptolemy's safety, but very

-much disappointed that I did not succeed in interviewing Huldah and

-finding out something about domestic affairs.

-

-I assured her that everything was "hunky doory" at home, praised the

-telephone service, my expedition to town, and painted my return ride

-with "the honest farmer" in glowing terms. I was suddenly halted in my

-eulogy by becoming aware of an amazed expression on my wife's

-countenance, a most suspicious glance in Beth's wide-open eyes, and a

-very knowing wink from Rob.

-

-"Lucien," said Silvia severely, "I believe you've been drinking. I

-certainly smell spirits."

-

-"Maybe you do," I replied jocosely. "I certainly saw spirits. I went

-to the haunted house on my way back."

-

-"I thought Windy Creek was a dry town," remarked Rob innocently.

-

-"It is," I assured him, "but I rode home with an old man--a farmer."

-

-"Does he run a blind pig?" asked Rob.

-

-"It was more like a pig in a poke," I replied.

-

-"Lucien," exclaimed Silvia reproachfully, "you told me two years ago,

-after that banquet to the Bar, that you were never going to touch wine

-or whisky again. What did that horrid old man give you?"

-

-"A stone fence. That's what he said it was anyway."

-

-"It's a new one on me," commented Rob.

-

-"There was a new toast went with it. He drank to 'over the moon.'"

-

-"You must have gone there all right and taken all the shine from the

-moon-man," said Rob.

-

-"Lucien," asked Beth, "did you really go to that haunted house?"

-

-Again I was moved to eloquence, and I told of the farmer's yearning,

-the fulfillment, the beckoning hand and the beating of the retreat at

-length.

-

-"Are you sure," asked Rob, "that you didn't take that stone fence

-before you visited the haunted house?"

-

-"I know," I replied, loftily, "that a lawyer's word is worthless, but

-seeing is believing. We will all visit the haunted house tomorrow

-night and I'll make good on ghosts."

-

-This plan was unanimously approved, and then Silvia suggested that she

-thought I had better go to bed. I had no particular objection to doing

-so.

-

-"Lucien," she said solemnly, when we were alone, "I want you to

-promise me something. I want you to give me your word that you will

-never take another stone wall."

-

-I did this most readily.

-

-

-

-

-CHAPTER IX

-

-_In Which We See Ghosts_

-

-

-The next morning Rob tried earnestly and vainly to drive a wedge in

-Beth's good graces, but she treated him with a casual tolerance that

-finally put him in an ill humor which he took out on me with many a

-gibe at my "stone fence spirit."

-

-Men of my profession who have to deal with facts rather than fancy are

-not believers in the supernatural. I was sure that the extending arm

-and the beckoning finger were there, but belonged to no ghost. It

-might have been a curtain blowing out the window or a fake of some

-kind. But I knew that unless there was some kind of a showing in a

-ghostly way that night, I should never hear the last of my stone fence

-indulgence, so I resolved to make a preliminary visit alone by

-daylight and rig up something white to substantiate my spectral

-narrative.

-

-I didn't find an opportunity to escape unseen until late in the

-afternoon, when I went, ostensibly, for a solitary row on the lake.

-

-I landed and came by a circuitous route to the haunted house. The calm

-security of sunshine, of course, prevented any shivers of anticipation

-such as I had experienced the night before. On passing one of the

-windows on my way to the front entrance, I glanced in, stopped in

-sheer fright, stooped and backed to the next window, which was

-screened by a labyrinth of vines through which I peered. I am sure I

-lost my Bloom of Youth complexion for a few moments. I babbled

-aimlessly to myself and then managed to pull together and beat it to

-the lake with as much speed as my farmer friend had shown in his

-retreat. I made the boat and the hotel in double quick time.

-

-[Illustration: I babbled aimlessly to myself and then managed to pull

-together and beat it to the lake]

-

-I felt no misgivings now as to the promise of a sensation that night,

-and that sustaining thought was all that propped my flagging spirits

-throughout the day, but I resolved to keep my little party at safe

-distance from the house.

-

-"Say we keep our nocturnal noctambulation under our hats," proposed

-Rob.

-

-When this proposition was translated to Silvia, she entirely approved,

-so, committing Diogenes to the Polydores' Providence, we left the

-hotel at half past eleven for a row on the lake by moonlight.

-

-When we descended the slope leading to the House of Mystery, I

-cautioned silence and a "safety-first" distance.

-

-"Ghosts are easily vanished," I informed them. "They don't seek

-limelight, and I want you to be sure to see this one."

-

-As we came to the untrodden undergrowth we heard a weird, wailing

-sound that would have curdled my blood had I not glanced in the window

-that afternoon and so, in a measure, been prepared for this--or

-anything.

-

-"Look!" whispered Beth. "The arm!"

-

-Silvia looked at the roof window and with a stifled shriek of terror

-turned and fled up the hill, Rob chivalrously pursuing her.

-

-Beth was pale, but game.

-

-"What can it be, Lucien?" she whispered. "Do we dare go in to see?"

-

-"I wouldn't, Beth," I vetoed quickly. "Maybe some lunatic or

-half-witted person has taken up abode here."

-

-"Lucien!" called Rob peremptorily.

-

-I turned quickly. He was at the top of the hill, half supporting

-Silvia. I ran toward them, followed by Beth.

-

-"It isn't a ghost, of course, Silvia," I said soothingly, and then

-repeated my supposition about the lunatic.

-

-"Of course I don't believe in ghosts," said Silvia shudderingly, "but

-it's an awful place and those sounds are like those I have heard in

-nightmares."

-

-"We'll hurry back to the hotel and forget all about it," I urged.

-

-I rowed the boat and Silvia sat opposite me. Beth and Rob were in the

-stern and I had to listen to their conversation.

-

-"Of course I felt a little creepy," she admitted, "but then I like to

-feel that way, and I wasn't afraid."

-

-"No, of course, you wouldn't be," he replied somewhat ironically.

-"You're the new woman type."

-

-"No, I am not," she denied. "I wish I were. Silvia's really the

-strong-minded type."

-

-"She didn't act the part when she saw the ghost," he retorted.

-

-"It's very unusual for her nerves to give way. Silvia's quite a

-surprise to me this summer, but I think those funny Polydores have

-upset her more than Lucien realizes."

-

-I wondered if she were right, and once again murderous wishes toward

-the Polydores entered my brain, and I made renewed vows about

-disposing of them on our return home.

-

-One thing, however, had been accomplished by our expedition. Silvia

-was more lenient in her judgment on my indulgences of the preceding

-night.

-

-By the time we pulled in at the landing, Silvia had recovered her

-equilibrium.

-

-"Lucien, what the devil do you suppose was in that house?" asked Rob,

-when we were putting up the boat.

-

-"Loons and things," I allowed.

-

-"But what was that white arm?"

-

-"Some fake thing the village wag has put up to scare the natives."

-

-Next morning's stage brought some new arrivals, and among them were

-two college students who at once were claimed by Beth. She played

-tennis with one and later went rowing with the other. Rob smoked and

-sulked, apart.

-

-My farmer friend had been garrulous and rumors of the ghost and the

-haunted house had come to the ears of the hotel inmates, thereby

-causing a pleasurable stir of excitement. A number of them announced

-their intention of visiting the place. They asked me to be their

-guide, but I refused.

-

-"It was interesting," I said, "but I think it would be a bore to see

-the same ghost twice."

-

-"I am sure I don't care to go again," was Silvia's emphatic reply

-when asked to be one of the party.

-

-"Ghosts are scientifically admitted and explained," growled Rob, "so I

-don't see anything to be excited about."

-

-Beth accepted the offer of escort of one of the students, so Silvia,

-Rob, and I remained at home. The night was quite cool, and we played

-cards in our room. When the party returned, Beth joined us. She looked

-rather out of sorts.

-

-"Oh, yes," she replied in answer to Silvia's eager inquiry. "We saw

-the ghost. I don't know whether it was the same little old last

-night's ghost or a new one. He showed more of himself this time

-though. He had two arms and a veiled head out of the window. As soon

-as our crowd glimpsed it, they all fled quicker than we did last

-night. Those two students fell all over each other and left me in the

-lurch."

-

-"What could you expect," asked Rob, "from such ladylike things? They

-ought to be kept in the confines of the croquet ground. If they are a

-fair specimen of the kind you have met, no wonder you--"

-

-[Illustration: The landlady intears waylaid me]

-

-He stopped abruptly.

-

-"No wonder what?" she asked quickly.

-

-"Nothing," he replied glumly.

-

-When I came down to breakfast the next morning, the landlady in tears

-waylaid me.

-

-"Oh, Mr. Wade," she began in trouble-telling tone, "this affair about

-the ghost is going to hurt my business. Some of those folks say they

-are going home, and they will tell others and--"

-

-"I'll fix the ghost story. Just leave it to me!" I assured her

-optimistically, as we went into the dining-room.

-

-There were only enough guests to fill one long table, and every one

-was excitedly dissecting the ghost.

-

-I took my seat and also the floor.

-

-"I hate to dispel your illusions," I said cheerfully, "but the fact

-is, I made a daylight investigation of the haunted house. First I

-looked in the window and I saw--"

-

-"Oh, what did you see?" chorused a dozen or more expectant voices.

-

-"A lot of--mice."

-

-"Oh!" came in disappointed and skeptical tones.

-

-"But, the ghost, Mr. Wade?"

-

-"Yes! The arms and the head?"

-

-"A fake figure put up by some practical joker for the purpose of

-frightening timid people and encouraging the credulous. I didn't want

-to spoil your little picnic, so I kept still."

-

-"Those sounds, Lucien!" reminded Silvia.

-

-"Were from a cat chorus. They were prowling about the house."

-

-"You're sure some lawyer, Mr. Wade," doubtfully complimented my

-grateful landlady, as we went out of the room after breakfast.

-

-"Lucien," asked Rob _sotto voce_, joining me on the veranda, "why

-don't the cats you speak of catch that lot of mice?"

-

-Fortunately Beth came up to us, and I didn't have to explain.

-

-"Oh!" she said with a shudder. "I'll never go near that awful place!

-I'd rather see a perfectly good ghost, or a loon, or a lunatic any day

-than a mouse."

-

-"You're surely not afraid of a mouse!" exclaimed Rob.

-

-"Why not?" she asked coolly as she walked on.

-

-"I told you she was feminine," I reminded him.

-

-He shook his head.

-

-"I can't understand," he remarked, "why a girl who is afraid of mice

-should be--"

-

-"You don't understand anything about women," I interrupted.

-

-"You're right, Lucien. I don't, but your sister is surely the greatest

-enigma of them all."

-

-I rented the stone fence farmer's "autoo" and took Silvia and

-Diogenes to a neighboring town that afternoon. We didn't get back to

-the hotel until dinner time.

-

-"What have you been up to all day, Rob?" I asked.

-

-"Numerous things. For one, I strolled down to the haunted house."

-

-"What did you see?" cried the women.

-

-"I saw four--"

-

-"Ghosts?" asked Beth.

-

-I shot him a warning glance.

-

-"Young tomcats playing tag with the mice."

-

-I corralled Rob outside after dinner.

-

-"For Heaven's sake!" I implored. "Don't disturb Silvia's peace of

-mind. Did you go inside?"

-

-"No; I was sorely tempted to, but refrained out of deference to the

-evident wishes of my host, but really, Lucien, we should--"

-

-"I have only ten more days off, Rob. Don't make any unpleasant

-suggestions."

-

-"I won't," he said promptly.

-

-

-

-

-CHAPTER X

-

-_In Which We Make Some Discoveries_

-

-

-Diogenes, who, for a Polydore, had been quite placid since Ptolemy's

-departure, caused a commotion by disappearing the next morning. As he

-was possessed of a deep desire to go in the lake and get a little

-snake, he had been, when not under strict surveillance, tied to a tree

-with enough leeway in the length of rope to allow him to play

-comfortably.

-

-By some means he had managed to work himself loose from the rope and

-had evidently followed Ptolemy's example. I suggested calling up

-Huldah and asking if he had arrived yet, but I met with such chilling

-glances from Silvia and Beth that I got busy and organized searching

-parties, who reluctantly and lukewarmly engaged in the pursuit. Rob

-and I took the shore. After we had walked some little distance, we met

-a woman and stopped for inquiry. She said she had seen a child of

-about two years, clad in a blue and white striped dress and a big hat,

-going over the hill in company with a boy of about eight.

-

-"Are you going on to the hotel?" I asked.

-

-On her replying that she was, I told her to inform them that she had

-met me and that the lost child was located.

-

-Rob and I then kept on over the hill, and when we neared the haunted

-house, we heard hair-raising sounds.

-

-"If I hadn't been here before," remarked Rob, "I should think that

-Sitting Bull had been reincarnated and was reviving the warrior war

-whoops."

-

-We paused on the threshold. A human windmill of whirling legs and

-arms--Polydore legs and arms--flashed before our eyes.

-

-"Stop!" I thundered.

-

-The flying wheel of arms and legs slacked, ran a few times, then

-slowly stopped, and the Polydore quintette assumed normal positions.

-

-"Halloa, stepdaddy!"

-

-A landslide composed of Emerald, Pythagoras, and Demetrius started

-toward me. I side-stepped and let Rob receive the charge.

-

-"Line them up now, for attention," I directed Ptolemy. "I have

-something to say to you all."

-

-Ptolemy knocked the three terrors up against the wall, and I picked up

-Diogenes, who had a bump as big as an egg on his head.

-

-"I told you," said Ptolemy to Pythagoras, "that if you brought Di down

-here they'd get on our trail. He wanted to see Di," he explained, "so

-he sneaked over there and got him."

-

-"We were wise before today," I informed him. "I saw you all day before

-yesterday."

-

-"And I discovered you yesterday," added Rob.

-

-Ptolemy looked rather crestfallen, and then, seeming to consider that

-my discovery had been succeeded by inaction, which must mean

-non-interference, he heartened up.

-

-"Now," I demanded, "I want you to begin at the time you left the hotel

-and tell me everything and why you did it."

-

-"I wasn't having any fun after you two went off camping," he began

-lugubriously. "I couldn't hang around women folks all the time. I

-wanted boys to play with."

-

-I saw a gleam of sympathy and understanding come into Rob's eyes.

-

-"A harem of hens," he muttered.

-

-"I knew we could all have a grand time here and not be a bother to

-mudder, or Huldah or anyone, and it seemed too bad for this nice house

-to be empty, and no one anywhere else wanting us."

-

-I felt my first gleam of pity for a Polydore and wiped Diogenes'

-dirty, moist face carefully with my handkerchief.

-

-"So I went home and told Huldah I had come after the boys to take them

-back with me."

-

-"And told her we had sent for them?" I asked sharply.

-

-He flushed slightly at my tone.

-

-"No; I didn't tell her so. She got that idea herself, and I didn't

-tell her different."

-

-"When did you come?"

-

-"I came the same night that you telephoned, and took the train you and

-mudder came on. We got to Windy Creek in the morning. We fetched all

-our stuff here from home. I bought it."

-

-"Right here," I said, "tell me where you got the money to buy your

-stuff and to pay your fare here."

-

-"I cashed father's check."

-

-"I didn't know he left you one."

-

-"He didn't, except the one he gave me to give you for our board. You

-told mudder you wouldn't touch it, and it seemed a pity not to have it

-working."

-

-Visions of a future Polydore doing the chain and ball step flashed

-before my vision.

-

-"And they cashed it for you at the bank?"

-

-"Sure. Father always has me cash his checks for him."

-

-"What amount did you fill in?" I asked enviously.

-

-"One hundred dollars. There's a lot more in the bank, too."

-

-"How did you get your truck here from Windy Creek?" asked Rob.

-

-"We divided it up and each took a bunch and started on foot, and some

-people in an automobile, going to the town past here, took us in and

-brought us as far as the lane. We've been having a fine time."

-

-"What doing?" asked Rob interestedly.

-

-"Fishing, sailing on a raft, playing in the woods all day and--"

-

-"Playing ghost at night," said Pythagoras with a grin.

-

-"Who made that ghost in the window?" I demanded.

-

-"I did. I rigged up an arm and put it out the window the afternoon I

-left, hoping Beth would come down and see it, but we've got a jim

-dandy one now."

-

-"That was quite a shapely arm," said Rob. "Where did you learn

-sculpturing?"

-

-"Oh, I rigged it up," he said casually.

-

-"What did you bring in the way of supplies?"

-

-"Bacon, crackers, beans, candy, popcorn, gum, peanuts, pickles,

-candles, matches, and butter," was the glib inventory.

-

-"You may stay here," I said, "until we go home, but you are not to

-stir away from the woods about here and not on any account to come

-near the hotel, or let it be known that you are here. And you are to

-end this ghost business right off. Now, Di, we'll go home to mudder."

-

-"No!" bawled Di. "Stay with boys. Mudder come here."

-

-At least this was Ptolemy's interpretation of his protest.

-

-I threatened, Rob coaxed, and Ptolemy cuffed, but every time I started

-to leave and jerk him after me, he uttered such demoniac yells I was

-forced to stop.

-

-"Wish it was night," said Emerald regretfully. "Wouldn't he scare

-folks though! How does he get his voice up so high?"

-

-"Poor little Di!" said a voice commiseratingly from the doorway. "Was

-Ocean plaguing him?"

-

-Beth gathered the child in her arms, and his howls changed to sobs.

-Rob stood petrified with amazement at her appearance.

-

-"Don't want to go," said Diogenes between gulps.

-

-"Needn't go!" promised Beth. "Stay here with me, and we'll have dinner

-with the boys and then we'll go home and get some ice cream."

-

-"All yite," agreed the appeased Polydore.

-

-"May Lucien and I stay to dinner, too?" asked Rob humbly.

-

-"No," she replied icily.

-

-"But, Beth," I remonstrated. "Silvia will be worrying about Di. How

-can we explain?"

-

-"Silvia has gone to Windy Creek for the day. You see, I met that woman

-you sent to the hotel, and she told me she saw Di going over the hill

-with a boy, and I suddenly seemed to smell one of your mice, so I sent

-the woman on her way, and told Silvia you and Rob had found Diogenes.

-Just then some people she knew came along in a car and asked her to go

-to Windy Creek. I made her go and told her I'd look after Di."

-

-"You're a brick, Beth!" applauded Ptolemy.

-

-"If you boys will be very careful and not let anyone besides us know

-you are here, so mudder will not hear of it, for though she'd like to

-see you"--this without a flicker or flinch--"we want her to have a

-nice rest. I'll come over every day except tomorrow and bring things

-from the hotel store, and bake up cookies and cake for you."

-

-A yell of approval went up.

-

-"Why can't you come tomorrow?" asked the greedy Demetrius.

-

-"Because I've promised to go to the other end of the lake on a picnic.

-All the people at the hotel are going."

-

-"I'll come tomorrow and spend the whole day with you," promised Rob.

-"We'll have a ride in the sailboat and do all sorts of things."

-

-"Why, aren't you going on that infernal picnic?" I asked.

-

-"No; I'll have all the picnic I want over here. Like Ptolemy I feel

-that I want to play with some of my own kind."

-

-Beth looked at him approvingly; then she said a little sarcastically:

-

-"Maybe you'll change your mind--about going on the picnic, I

-mean--when you see the new girl who just came to the hotel on the

-morning stage. She's a blonde, and not peroxided, either."

-

-"That would certainly drive him down here, or anywhere," I laughed.

-

-"Oh, don't you like blondes?" she asked innocently.

-

-"He doesn't like--" I began, but Ptolemy rudely interrupted with an

-elaborate description of a new kind of fishing tackle he had bought.

-

-Then Beth bade Pythagoras build a fire in the cook-stove while she

-set the room to rights.

-

-"We'll eat out of doors," she said, "I think it would be more

-appetizing."

-

-"How did you get here?" Rob asked her as we were leaving.

-

-"I rowed over."

-

-"May I come over and row you back?" he asked pleadingly.

-

-She hesitated, and then, realizing that she could scarcely manage a

-boat and Diogenes at the same time, assented, bidding him not come,

-however, until five o'clock.

-

-"She'll have enough of the Polydores by that time," I said to Rob on

-our way home.

-

-"Do you know," he said reflectively, "I like Ptolemy. There's the

-making of a man in him, if he has only half a chance. I didn't suppose

-your sister understood children so well or was so fond of them. She

-looked quite the little housewife, too."

-

-"You'd discover a lot of things you don't know, if you'd cultivate the

-society of women," I informed him.

-

-

-

-

-CHAPTER XI

-

-_A Bad Means to a Good End_

-

-

-When we were setting out on the proposed picnic the next day, Rob made

-himself extremely unpopular by announcing his intention to spend the

-day otherwise. The new blonde girl gave him fetching glances of

-entreaty which he never even saw. He made another sensation by

-proposing to keep Diogenes with him. To Silvia's surprise, Diogenes

-voiced his delight and chattered away, I suppose, about playing with

-the boys, but fortunately no one understood him.

-

-"Won't you change your mind and come, too?" he asked Beth.

-

-She seemed on the point of accepting and then firmly declined.

-

-When we returned at six o'clock, Rob and Diogenes were awaiting us.

-There was something in Rob's eyes I had not seen there before. He had

-the look of one in love with life.

-

-"Did you have a nice time playing solitaire?" asked Silvia.

-

-"I had a very nice time," he replied with a subtle smile, "but I

-didn't play solitaire. You know I had Diogenes."

-

-"Diogenes apparently had a good time, too," said Silvia, looking at

-the child, who was certainly a wreck in the way of garments. "What did

-you do all day, Rob?"

-

-"We went out on the water, played games, and had a picnic dinner

-outdoors."

-

-"You had huckleberry pie for one thing," she observed, with a glance

-at Diogenes' dress, "and jelly for another, and--"

-

-"Chicken, baked potatoes, milk, cake, and ice cream," he finished.

-

-"Where did you get ice cream?" she asked.

-

-"I went down to a dairy farm and got a gallon."

-

-"A gallon!" she exclaimed. "For you and Diogenes?"

-

-"We didn't eat it all," he said guardedly. "I gave what we didn't eat

-to some stray boys."

-

-"I hope Di won't be ill."

-

-"He won't," asserted Rob. "I am sure he is made of cast iron."

-

-Throughout dinner Rob remained in high spirits. He kept eyeing Beth in

-a way that disconcerted her, and then suddenly he would smile with the

-expression of one who knows something funny, but intends to keep it a

-secret.

-

-Presently Silvia left us and went upstairs to give Diogenes a bath

-before she put him to bed.

-

-"You've had two days' freedom from the last of the Polydores," I

-called after her. "Doesn't it seem delightful?"

-

-"Lucien," she answered slowly, "I've really missed the care of him. I

-was lonesome for him all day."

-

-"He isn't such a bad little kid when he is out from Polydore

-environment," I admitted, regretting that he had been restored to it.

-

-"Now tell us all about your day with the boys," Beth asked Rob, when

-we were left alone. "It really does seem too bad to keep a secret from

-Silvia, and yet it is a case of where ignorance is bliss--"

-

-"It would be folly to be otherwise," finished Rob. "Well, Diogenes and

-I left here with a boat load of supplies in the way of provender and

-things for the boys. I had to tie Diogenes in the boat, of course, so

-he would not try some aquatic feat. He objected and yelled like a

-fiend all the way. I was glad there was no one at the hotel to come

-out and arrest me for cruelty to children. Of course before we landed,

-his cries were heard by his brothers and they were all at the water's

-edge. They made mulepacks of themselves and transferred the commissary

-supplies. The ice cream and bats and balls which I found at the store

-made quite a hit.

-

-"We played baseball, fished, and had a spread on the shore. Then

-Ptolemy and I rowed out to where the sailboat was. I explained the

-mysteries of the jib and he caught on instantly. We took in the other

-Polydores and sailed for a couple of hours. Then we all went in

-swimming."

-

-"Not Diogenes!"

-

-"Certainly. I tucked him under my arm and he seemed perfectly at home,

-although greatly disappointed because we didn't succeed in catching a

-snake.

-

-"I finally landed them all safely under the roof of the Haunted House,

-and Ptolemy assured me it was the best day of his young life. In

-appreciation of the diversions I had afforded him, he made a

-confession which proved such good news to me that I was a lenient

-listener and exacted no penalty."

-

-"What was it?" I asked.

-

-"He told me that on the day of Miss Wade's and my arrival at your

-house, he had made a misstatement to each of us and had not repeated

-to us accurately what he had overheard you telling Silvia when he was

-on the porch roof. Miss Wade, what did he tell you about me?"

-

-"He said that Lucien said that your only failing was that you were

-daffy over women and made love to every one you saw."

-

-"Oh, Beth!" I cried, light bursting in, "and you believed that little

-wretch?"

-

-"I did."

-

-"Then that is why you have been so--"

-

-"Yes--so--" repeated Rob grimly.

-

-"Well, I never did have any use for a man-flirt, and I was awfully

-disappointed, for I had thought from what Rob said that you were a

-man's man."

-

-"And then, of course, when for the first time in my life I began being

-interested in a woman--in you--I played right into that little scamp's

-hands."

-

-"He is a man's man, Beth," I said warmly. "What Ptolemy heard me say

-was that Rob was a woman-hater."

-

-"I am not!" declared Rob indignantly--"just a woman-shyer, but I

-haven't finished with Ptolemy's confession. I wonder, now, if either

-of you can guess what he told me was Miss Wade's characteristic."

-

-"I don't dare guess," laughed Beth.

-

-"What I did say about Beth was that she was a born flirt."

-

-"I am not!" protested my sister, in resentment.

-

-"I should prefer that appellation to the one he gave you. He said you

-were strong-minded and a man-hater."

-

-Even Beth saw the irony of this.

-

-"I asked him," continued Rob, "what his motive was, and he said

-'Stepdaddy didn't want Beth to know about the man-hater business,' so

-he took that means of throwing you off the track.

-

-"I took the occasion to talk to him like a Dutch uncle, though I don't

-know exactly what that is. I think it was the first time anything but

-brute force had been tried on him. I must have touched some little

-flicker of the right thing in him, for he was really contrite and

-seemed to sense a different angle of vision when I explained to him

-what havoc could be worked by the misinformation of meddlers. He

-promised me he'd try to overcome his tendency to start things going

-wrong."

-

-I made no comment, but it occurred to me that Ptolemy was a shrewd

-little fellow, and that there had been wisdom back of his strategic

-speeches to Beth and Rob, for he had taken the one sure course to make

-them both "take notice."

-

-"So, Beth," said Rob, and her name seemed to come quite handily to

-him, "can't we cut out the past ten days and begin our acquaintance

-right?"

-

-"I think we can," she answered.

-

-"I had better go upstairs," I suggested, "and tell Silvia that

-Diogenes doesn't need a bath, seeing he has been in swimming."

-

-Neither of them urged me to remain, so I went up to our room and found

-Silvia tucking Diogenes under cover.

-

-"What did you come up for?" she asked. "I was just coming down to join

-you."

-

-"Beth is treating Rob so--differently, that I thought it well to

-retreat."

-

-"I am so glad! Whatever came over the spirit of her dreams?"

-

-"They've just discovered in the course of conversation that Ptolemy as

-usual crossed the wires and told Beth Rob was a flirt, and then

-informed Rob that Beth was strong-minded and a man-hater."

-

-"Oh, the little imp!" she exclaimed indignantly.

-

-"I don't know. It worked, anyway, so Ptolemy was the bad means to a

-good end."

-

-"How did they ever happen to discover what he had done?"

-

-"They caught on from something Rob said," I told her, feeling again

-guilty at keeping my first secret from her.

-

-"It will be a fine match for Beth," said Silvia. "Rob is such a

-splendid man, and then he has plenty of money. He can give her

-anything she wants."

-

-I winced. I think Silvia must have been conscious of it, even though

-the room was dark, for she came to me quickly.

-

-"I wish I could give you--everything--anything--you want, Silvia."

-

-"You have, Lucien. The things that no money could buy--love and

-protection."

-

-Well, maybe I had. I had surely given her protection from the

-Polydores, though she didn't know to what extent.

-

-"I am going to give you more material things, though, Silvia. When we

-go home, I shall start to work in earnest and see if I can't get

-enough ahead to make a good investment I know of."

-

-"I'd rather do without the necessities even, Lucien, than to have you

-work any harder than you have been doing. We must let well enough

-alone."

-

-

-

-

-CHAPTER XII

-

-"_Too Much Polydores_"

-

-

-The next morning at breakfast, Beth announced that she and Rob were

-going to spend the day camping in the woods.

-

-Silvia and I tried not to look significantly at each other, but Beth

-was very keen.

-

-"We will take Diogenes with us," she instantly added.

-

-"Oh, no!" protested Silvia. "He'll be such a bother. And then he can't

-walk very far, you know."

-

-"He'll be no bother," persisted Beth. "And we'll borrow the little

-cart to draw him in."

-

-"Yes," acquiesced Rob. "We sure want Diogenes with us."

-

-"I'll have them put up a lunch for you," proposed Silvia.

-

-"No," Rob objected. "We are going to forage and cook over a fire in

-the woods."

-

-"Then," I proposed to Silvia with alacrity, "we'll have our first day

-alone together--the first we have had since the Polydores came into

-our lives. I'll rent the 'autoo' again, and we will go through the

-country and dine at some little wayside inn."

-

-"Get the 'autoo', now, Lucien," advised Beth privately, "and make an

-early start, so Rob and I can take supplies from the store without

-arousing Silvia's suspicions."

-

-"I don't believe," said Silvia disappointedly, when we were "autooing"

-on our way, "that they are in love after all, or that he has

-proposed, or that he is going to."

-

-"Where did you draw all those pessimistic inferences from?" I asked.

-

-"From their both being so keen to take Diogenes with them."

-

-"Diogenes would be no barrier to their love-making," I told her. "He

-couldn't repeat what they said; at least, not so anyone could

-understand him."

-

-Many miles away we came upon a picturesque little old-time tavern

-where we had an appetizing dinner, and then continued on our aimless

-way. It was nearly ten o'clock when we returned to the hotel, where

-the owner of the "autoo" was waiting.

-

-Rob came down the roadway.

-

-"Where's Beth?" asked Silvia.

-

-"She has gone to bed. The day in the open made her sleepy."

-

-When Silvia had left us, the old farmer said with a chuckle: "I can't

-offer you another swig of stone fence."

-

-"It's probably just as well you can't," I replied.

-

-"I'd like to be introduced to one," said Rob, who appeared to be

-somewhat downcast. "I sure need a bracer."

-

-"What's the matter, Rob?" I asked when we were lighting our pipes. "A

-strenuous day? Two in rapid 'concussion' with the Polydores must be

-nerve-racking."

-

-"Yes; I admit there seemed to be 'too much Polydores.' We all had a

-happy reunion, and I devoted the forenoon to the entertainment of the

-famous family so I could be entitled to the afternoon off to spend

-with Beth. At noon we built a fire and cooked a sumptuous dinner. Beth

-baked up some things to keep them supplied a couple of days longer.

-After dinner I asked her to go for a row. She insisted on taking

-Diogenes along, and the others all followed us on a raft. So I decided

-to cut the water sports short, and Beth and I started for a walk in

-the woods. Three or more were constantly right on our trail. I begged

-and bribed, but to no avail. They were sticktights all right, and," he

-added morosely, "she seemed covertly to aid and abet them. When we

-started for home, I found that the young fiends had broken the cart,

-so I had to carry Diogenes most of the way, and of course he bellowed

-as usual at being parted from the whelps."

-

-[Illustration: I had to carry Diogenes most of the way]

-

-"They aren't such 'fine little chaps' after all," I couldn't resist

-commenting. "Familiarity breeds contempt, you see. I am sorry Diogenes

-had so much of their society. He'll be unendurable tomorrow. Well, you

-had some day!"

-

-"So did the Polydores. Demetrius and Diogenes fell in the fire twice.

-Emerald threw a finger out of joint, but Ptolemy quickly jerked it

-into place. Pythagoras was kicked off the raft twice, following a

-mutiny. Demetrius threw a lighted match into the vines and set fire to

-the house. They said it was a 'beaut of a day', though, and urged us

-to come tomorrow and repeat the program. By the way, they went across

-the lake on their raft yesterday and bought a tent of some campers.

-They have pitched it in the woods beyond the house."

-

-When I went upstairs Silvia met me disconsolately.

-

-"He didn't propose," she said disappointedly. "She wouldn't let him."

-

-"Did you wake her up to find out?" I asked.

-

-"She hadn't gone to bed and she wasn't sleepy. She was trimming a

-hat."

-

-"Why wouldn't she let him propose, if she cares for him?" I asked

-perplexedly.

-

-"Well, you see," explained Silvia, "that when a girl--a coquette girl

-like Beth--is as sure of a man as she is of Rob, she gets a touch of

-contrariness or offishness or something. She said it would have been

-too prosaic and cut and dried if they had gone away for a day in the

-woods and come back engaged. She wants the unexpected."

-

-"Do you think she loves him?" I asked interestedly.

-

-"She doesn't say so. You can't tell from what she says anyway. Still,

-I think she is hovering around the danger point."

-

-"She'd better watch out. Rob isn't the kind of a man who will stand

-for too much thwarting," I replied.

-

-"If he'd only play up a little bit to some one else, it would bring

-things to a climax," said my wife sagely.

-

-"There's no one else to play up to. The blonde left today because it

-was so slow here."

-

-"Maybe some new girl will come tomorrow," said Silvia, "or there's

-that trim little waitress who is waiting her way through college. He

-gave her a good big tip yesterday. I think I will give him a hint."

-

-"It wouldn't help any. He wouldn't know how to play such a game if you

-could persuade him to try. He'd probably tell the girl his motive in

-being attentive to her and then she'd back out. Maybe, after all, Beth

-doesn't love him."

-

-"I think she does," replied my wife, "because she is getting

-absent-minded. She let Diogenes go too near the fire. His shoes are

-burned, his hair singed, and his dress scorched. He woke up when I

-came in and he was so cross. He acted just the way he does when he is

-with his brothers."

-

-

-

-

-CHAPTER XIII

-

-_Rob's Friend the Reporter_

-

-

-Silvia's vague prophecy was fulfilled. When the event of the day, the

-arrival of the stage, occurred, a solitary passenger alighted, a slim,

-alert, city-cut young woman.

-

-She looked us all over--not boldly, but with a business-like

-directness as if she were taking inventory of stock, or acting as

-judge at a competition. When her blue eyes lighted on Rob, they

-darkened with pleasure.

-

-"Oh, Mr. Rossiter!" she exclaimed, "this is better than I hoped for."

-

-They shook hands with the air of being old acquaintances, and he

-introduced her to us as "Miss Frayne, from my home town."

-

-She went into the office, registered, and sent her bag to her room.

-Then she asked Rob if she might have a talk with him.

-

-They walked away together down to the shore and she was talking to him

-quite excitedly. Rob suddenly stopped, threw back his head and laughed

-in the way that it is good to hear a man laugh.

-

-"Miss Frayne must be a wit," observed Beth dryly.

-

-I looked at her keenly. Something in her eyes as she gazed after the

-retreating couple told me that Silvia's surmise was right, and that

-Miss Frayne might be just the little punch needed to send Beth over

-the danger point.

-

-"I rather incline to the belief that Ptolemy told the truth in the

-first place," she continued, and then looked disappointed because I

-did not contradict her.

-

-I decided not to reveal, for the present anyway, what I knew of Miss

-Frayne, of whom I had often heard Rob speak.

-

-"She can't be going to stay long," said Silvia hopefully. "She didn't

-bring a trunk."

-

-"She doesn't need one," replied Beth. "She is probably one of those

-mannish girls who believe in a skirt and a few waists for a

-wardrobe."

-

-When Rob and the newcomer returned, he seemed to be monopolizing the

-conversation in a very emphatic and earnest manner. As they came up

-the steps to the veranda, we heard her say:

-

-"Very well, Mr. Rossiter, I will do just as you say. I have perfect

-confidence in your judgment."

-

-They passed on into the hotel and Beth jumped up and went down toward

-the lake.

-

-"Did you ever hear Rob speak of this Miss Frayne?" asked Silvia.

-

-"Often. She is engaged to his cousin, and is a reporter on a big

-newspaper."

-

-"Why didn't you say so? Oh, Lucien," she continued before I could

-speak, "were you really shrewd enough to see which way the wind was

-blowing?"

-

-"Sure. After you set my sails for me last night."

-

-Just then Rob came out of the hotel.

-

-"Say, Lucien, I want to see you a minute. Come on down the road."

-

-"We've got some work ahead," he said when we were out of Silvia's

-hearing.

-

-"What's up?" I asked.

-

-"Miss Frayne is up--and doing. What do you suppose her paper sent her

-here for?"

-

-"For a rest, or to write up the mosquitoes of H. H."

-

-"H. H. is all right, only it happens they stand for Haunted House."

-

-"Not really?"

-

-"Yes, really. The rumors of the house and the ghost, greatly

-elaborated, of course, reached the Sunday editor of the paper Miss

-Frayne is on, and he sent her up here to revive the story of the

-murder, translate the ghost, and get snapshots of the house. She was

-quite keen to have me take her there at once, so she could commence

-her article, but I headed her off, so she wouldn't discover the summer

-boarders at the hotel annex. I assured her that daytime was not the

-time to gather material and the only way she could get a proper focus

-on the ghost and acquire the thrills necessary for an inspiration was

-to see the place first by night."

-

-"If she would view Fair Melrose aright," I quoted, "she must visit it

-in the pale moonlight, but you were very clever to delay her visit

-long enough for us to get over there and warn the enemy. If she had

-gone down there and caught the Polydores unawares, she would have come

-back here and revealed our secret, and there would be the end of

-Silvia's vacation."

-

-"To tell the truth, Lucien, I wasn't thinking so much of that as I was

-of Miss Frayne's interests. You see she has come a long ways for a

-story and if it collapsed from her ghostly expectations to a showdown

-of four healthy boys, the blow might mean a good deal to her in a

-business way. I think we had better let Ptolemy plant a ghost just

-once more for her. You know you made him take a reef in the flapping

-of ghostly garments. Can't we resurrect the specter and restore the

-wails just for tonight, and bring her over here at the witching

-hour?"

-

-"Sure we will," I agreed heartily. "She shall have her ghost and all

-the trappings. It will give the Polydores the time of their lives."

-

-"Let's go over there now and put Ptolemy next so he can get busy on

-his spirits." We went down to the shore and pulled off. Midway across

-the lake, Rob suddenly rested on his oars and asked:

-

-"Where did Beth go?"

-

-"Back to first principles," I replied. "She thinks, judging from your

-excited, earnest manner in addressing Miss Frayne and your rushing

-frantically away for a walk with her before she had removed the travel

-dust, that Ptolemy was quite correct, after all, in declaring you to

-be a 'ladies' man.'"

-

-"Didn't you explain to her who Miss Frayne was?" he asked.

-

-"No," I replied. "I am on my vacation and I am not doing any

-explaining, professionally or otherwise."

-

-He swung the boat around.

-

-"Starboard!" I cried. "Don't you know a trump card when you see it?"

-

-Again he rested on his oars and stared at me.

-

-"What do you mean, Lucien? If you have a grain of hope for me, please

-let me in."

-

-I repeated Silvia's theories.

-

-"I am not going to win her that way," he said slowly, "not by playing

-a part."

-

-"Well," I declared, "if you go back to the hotel now, you can't

-explain Miss Frayne to Beth, because she went for a walk with old

-Professor Treadtop."

-

-He turned the boat again.

-

-"Silvia won't come to the Haunted House, will she?" he asked.

-

-"No, indeed. Nothing would induce her to."

-

-"Then you bring Miss Frayne here tonight and I'll bring Beth. And I'll

-be sure that there are no double boats lying around loose. I'll have

-two at the dock, see?"

-

-"I see your system," I replied, "but I am not sure how I can explain

-Miss Frayne to Silvia. Silvia is not in the least narrow-minded, but

-still to leave the hotel at midnight with a perfectly strange young

-woman--"

-

-"You can tell her I want a clear field for Beth. She will see it is in

-a good cause."

-

-The Polydores greeted us rapturously and roughly. When I had restored

-order, and they were once more right side up, I addressed the chief of

-the bandits.

-

-"Ptolemy," I began, "a young lady, who is a reporter for a big

-newspaper, has come from many miles away to write up the haunted house

-and the ghost, and they will be pictured out in the Sunday edition."

-

-Ptolemy's eyes glistened, and "Them Three" were instantly "at

-attention."

-

-"Oh, say, stepdaddy," begged the young chief, "let me play ghost right

-for her, just once, will you?"

-

-"You may for tonight," I said, "but you will have to be very careful

-and not overdo the matter, for she isn't the kind that is easily

-fooled. She's had to keep her eyes and wits sharpened, else she

-wouldn't be on a newspaper, so I want you to be very careful and not

-bungle. Make a neat job of it."

-

-"I'll do it up brown, you bet!" he cried gleefully.

-

-"Naw, do it up white," drawled Pythagoras.

-

-"Show me your ghost stuff by daylight," I demanded, "and let me see

-how you are going to rig him up."

-

-He brought forth a head and shoulders and arms that were ghastly even

-in sunlight, and proceeded to explain them.

-

-"I got this skull out of father's study, and the arms came off a

-skeleton mother had in her antiquities. I dressed them up in a pillow

-case and the white cotton gloves are Huldah's. I can get some

-phosphorus in the woods and put it in the eyes. And Demetrius bought

-two electric flashlights yesterday, and Pythagoras can snap them once

-in a while from the lower windows."

-

-"You are some little property man," said Rob in admiration. "But tell

-me who produces those heart-rending shrieks?"

-

-"That was Pythagoras who did the high ones. And Em came in with low

-groans. Show 'em, boys."

-

-Pythagoras uttered high-trebled, thin-toned whines and ever and anon

-Emerald added a _basso profundo_ accompaniment, making a combination

-that was most trying to the ears at close range.

-

-"I don't know," said Rob, "as I want Beth subjected to such a

-realistic performance. We will loiter in the distance."

-

-"Your rehearsal," I assured Ptolemy, "is very good, but you must

-remember that Miss Frayne is used to encountering things far more

-terrible than ghosts. She may insist on coming right in here to

-investigate. Of course, if she does, I can't refuse or she'll think I

-am afraid, or else that I put up a fake ghost here, myself."

-

-"We'll lock the door with a chair," suggested Emerald.

-

-"She'll be quite capable of breaking into a little house like this,

-but I'll keep her back until you have time to haul in your ghost and

-make a quick and quiet getaway by a back window. Then another thing,

-she'll be over here tomorrow morning to take some pictures of the

-house, so by sunrise I want you all to take up your abode in the tent

-you have in the woods and stay there until I come and tell you the

-coast is clear."

-

-"We're dead on," assured Ptolemy. "I'm glad there's going to be

-something doing. We're getting tired of being here alone. I had to tie

-Demetrius up this morning. He was bound to go over to the hotel and

-see mudder."

-

-"Don't one of you dare to make such an attempt," I said peremptorily.

-"You keep right on here for a few days. Some of us, either Rob, or

-Beth and I will drop over every day. If you play your ghost just as I

-tell you and keep out of sight, I'll bring you over some ice cream

-tomorrow."

-

-"Bring me a bigger bat."

-

-"Bring me a mitt."

-

-"Bring me a boat," came in chorus from Ptolemy, Emerald, and

-Demetrius.

-

-"What'll you give me to stay here?" asked Pythagoras, who was a born

-bargain-driver.

-

-"I'll give you a licking if you don't stay," was the only offer he

-gleaned from me.

-

-"Be good boys," adjured the softhearted Rob, "and I'll bring you

-everything I can find at the hotel."

-

-It was long past the luncheon hour when we returned. We found Miss

-Frayne wondering at Rob's sudden disappearance and Beth was

-accordingly mystified.

-

-I planted myself directly in front of Miss Frayne.

-

-"May I take you to the haunted house tonight at the yawning

-churchyard hour?" I asked. "I am most eminently fitted to be your

-guide, for I was the first one of this assembly to see the ghost _in

-toto_."

-

-"He saw it over a stone fence," remarked Rob.

-

-"Indeed you may, thank you very much," she said enthusiastically.

-

-Silvia's face was a study.

-

-"And will you come with me, Beth?" asked Rob. "Of course, the ghost is

-an old story to us, but we really should hover in Lucien's wake out of

-regard to the conventions."

-

-"Is Miss Frayne interested in ghosts?" asked Beth.

-

-Miss Frayne turned and answered the question.

-

-"Not personally," she admitted frankly, "but the newspaper I am on is,

-and they sent me up here to get a story."

-

-"Oh, you are a reporter?"

-

-"Yes; on the _Times_."

-

-"She won't be one long, though," asserted Rob cheerfully, "because she

-is going to marry my cousin in the fall."

-

-Beth's expression remained neutral at the announcement, but I noticed

-throughout the afternoon that she was extremely affable toward Miss

-Frayne, and that she had the whiphand again with Rob, and meanwhile he

-seemed to be gathering a grim determination to do or die.

-

-"Lucien, how did you come to ask Miss Frayne to go to that awful place

-tonight?" asked Silvia when we had gone to our room for a siesta,

-which seemed impossible by reason of the bellowing of Diogenes, who

-balked at being required to lie down.

-

-"Rob asked me to," I informed her, when I had cowed Diogenes, "so he

-could have a free field for Beth. I believe he planned this

-expedition so he could storm the citadel."

-

-She reflected.

-

-"Well, maybe he is wise. Girls like Beth have to be taken by storm

-sometimes. I shouldn't wonder if Rob could be a bit of a bully, too,

-but--"

-

-She ended her speculations in a shriek.

-

-"Oh, Lucien! Diogenes has jumped out the window."

-

-We rushed down stairs, Silvia informing the guests in transit of the

-awful catastrophe.

-

-Silvia paused at the door opening on to the veranda.

-

-"I can't see him," she said faintly, closing her eyes. "You'll have to

-tend to it alone, Lucien."

-

-Beth was already at the telephone, which connected with the country

-doctor's. Rob joined me. We located our window, and began hunting

-underneath for the pieces.

-

-"Where in the world do you suppose he landed?" asked Rob.

-

-Just then the missing one came around the house clasping a bologna

-sausage in his fist.

-

-"Ye Gods and little Polydores!" exclaimed Rob.

-

-I caught Diogenes by the arm and rushed him in to Silvia.

-

-I found her in company with an old colored mammy, who was laundress

-for the hotel.

-

-"Sho'," she was saying, "I done gwine by de windah with ma baby cab

-full o' cloes, an' dis yer white chile done come tumblin' down an'

-fall right in ma cab. Now, what do you think o' dat? I reckon I was

-nevah so done clean skeert afoah in ma life. An' ef de chile didn't

-grab one of ma bolognas and done git out de cab an' run around de

-house."

-

-"Oh," cried Silvia, "poor little baby! Come to mudder. Lucien, where

-are you going with him?"

-

-I had picked up the acrobatic Polydore and was going up the stairs two

-at a time. I gained our room, locked the door and proceeded to give

-the "poor little baby" all that was coming to him. Now and then above

-his howls, I heard Silvia's plaintive protests outside the door, but I

-finished my job completely and satisfactorily, and laid the penitent

-Polydore in his little bed. Then I went out into the hall, feeling

-better than I had in months.

-

-Silvia essayed to pass me, but I took her arm and led her to a recess

-in the hall.

-

-"I am convinced," I told her, "that we have Diogenes as a permanent

-pensioner on our hands, so it was up to me to show him where to get

-off. You can't go to him for a quarter of an hour."

-

-We went down stairs and I was sure I read suppressed regret in the

-faces of most of the guests at learning of the soft place in which

-Diogenes' lot had been cast. Silvia tearfully told Rob and Beth of my

-cruelty.

-

-[Illustration: Now and then above his howls, I heard Silvia's plaintive

-protests outside the door]

-

-"Do him good!" approved Rob heartily.

-

-"How mean men are!" declared Beth indignantly. "I am going up and

-comfort the poor little thing."

-

-I held up the key to the room with a grin, and she had to content

-herself by making unkind remarks about me.

-

-At the expiration of the allotted time, I handed Silvia the key. She

-took it from me without a word or a look. It was quite evident I was

-in wrong.

-

-In half an hour my wife came down, carrying Diogenes, who, dressed in

-fresh white clothes, was a good picture of an angel child. She passed

-me and went to a remote corner of the veranda and sat down. When he

-spied me, he leaped from her arms and ran to me.

-

-"Ocean," he said propitiatingly, "me love oo."

-

-I took him up. His arms clasped about my neck, and over his curly

-head, I winked at Silvia and Beth.

-

-Rob roared.

-

-

-

-

-CHAPTER XIV

-

-_A Midnight Excursion_

-

-

-The night was Satan's own: dark, wind-shrieking, and Polydorish. No

-one saw us leave the hotel when, at a late hour, we started on our

-little excursion. On account of the darkness and the poor landing near

-the haunted house, we decided to go by the overland route. I managed

-to purloin a lantern from the kitchen to light our path.

-

-Rob and Beth kept behind Miss Frayne and myself, and in spite of the

-wildness of the weather, he was evidently pleading his suit, for now

-and then above the roar of the wind, I heard his ardent voice.

-Apparently Beth had not yet given him any encouragement.

-

-Going down the lane my lantern underwent a total eclipse, so we had a

-Jordan-like road to travel. Miss Frayne was quite impervious to

-unfavorable conditions, as it was a matter of bread and butter to her,

-she said, and she was accustomed to braving worse storms than this,

-and anyway she hadn't come here for a summer picnic.

-

-When we came into the grove it was so dark, I lost my bearings.

-

-"Why didn't we bring a flashlight?" asked Beth.

-

-"There were none at the hotel," I told her.

-

-"I know some boys," said Rob with a little laugh, "who would have lent

-us one--maybe."

-

-Fortunately we were well provided with safety matches and after

-striking a box or so, we gained the open. A rise of ground hid the

-house, but when we climbed to the top, the ghost loomed up ghastlier

-than ever.

-

-I felt the business-like Miss Frayne start and shiver as a little

-scream escaped her. I didn't wonder. Even I, knowing that it was an

-illusion and a snare, felt my flesh creeping as I looked at the

-ghastly thing in the window.

-

-Every now and then according to schedule a light flashed from the

-windows below. And then came the blood-curdling sounds--whimpers and

-groans that were rivaling the whistling of the wind.

-

-"This is awful!" said Miss Frayne in a hoarse whisper.

-

-"Do you want to go inside the house?" I asked.

-

-"No--o! I couldn't. Not tonight."

-

-We were some little in advance of Rob and Beth. When one spectral

-sound came like a tense whisper, Miss Frayne turned and fled, and of

-course I followed her. We could not see our two companions, but

-suddenly in an interim of wind and ghost whispers, we heard Beth say:

-

-"Yes, Rob. I think we should really be cosier in a story-and-a-half

-cottage than we should in a bungalow."

-

-"Ye Gods!" muttered Miss Frayne, "did he propose in the face of that

-awful Thing?"

-

-"Ship ahoy!" I called.

-

-"Oh, didn't you go inside?" asked Rob.

-

-"Go in! I wouldn't go inside that place; not if I lose my job on the

-paper. What can it be? You don't seem to mind it, Miss Wade."

-

-"Well, you know," said Beth apologetically, "this is my third

-performance."

-

-We were now down the hill out of sight of the gruesome, ghastly window

-display, and Miss Frayne gained courage as we retreated.

-

-"Of course I don't believe in ghosts," she said, "but what do you

-suppose that is?"

-

-"I had a theory," I said, "that it is the work of a lunatic, but I've

-since concluded it is due to practical jokers. I'll tell you what I'll

-do. If you wait here, I'll investigate and see what I can find out for

-you."

-

-"Oh, would you really dare, Mr. Wade? I don't believe men ever have

-creepy nerves," she exclaimed.

-

-I began to feel ashamed of my deception.

-

-"I wouldn't go, Lucien," warned Rob, coming to my rescue. "There may

-be a gang of desperadoes in there, or counterfeit money-makers, or

-something of that kind. Besides, I have a far more interesting piece

-of news than anything the ghost could give you."

-

-"Rob!" protested Beth.

-

-"We know it already," I laughed. "It's to be a story-and-a-half

-high."

-

-"I think I am getting material for quite a story," declared Miss

-Frayne.

-

-I knew Beth's dislike of scenes and display of emotions--mock

-heroics--she called them, so I made no congratulatory speeches of the

-bless-you-my-children order, but presently under the cover of

-darkness, I felt a little hand slipped in mine, and my clasp was

-eloquent of what I felt.

-

-"I hope," said Miss Frayne, "that daylight will make me so ashamed of

-my cowardice that I can come down here and take some pictures and go

-inside the house."

-

-"We'll all come with you," promised Beth. "There's safety in

-numbers."

-

-When we were back at the hotel I managed to have a few words with Rob

-before we went upstairs.

-

-"Bless the ghost!" he said cheerily. "When Beth first glimpsed it, she

-just turned and fell into my arms. She was really frightened for the

-first time. I shall feel under obligations to Ptolemy for a

-lifetime."

-

-"Thank goodness!" I ejaculated fervently, "that I am under no

-obligations to a Polydore. Ptolemy certainly did put up the most

-ghastly thing in the way of ghosts. The lights in the eyes of the

-skeleton were frightful."

-

-"Did you see the ghost?" asked Silvia sleepily, when I came in.

-

-"Yes; same old ghost, only more of him," I assured her.

-

-She was asleep before I had uttered this reply.

-

-"Silvia," I said, "I have a more startling piece of news for you than

-that."

-

-She sat bolt upright.

-

-"Are they engaged, Lucien?"

-

-"They are. They are building their castle--I mean their story-and-a-half

-cottage already."

-

-Alas for my own desire to sleep! I had so effectually awakened Silvia

-that she planned Beth's trousseau, the wedding, honeymoon, and the

-furnishing of their house before she subsided.

-

-

-

-

-CHAPTER XV

-

-_What Miss Frayne Found Out_

-

-

-We had planned to go to the haunted house at nine o'clock the next

-morning, but owing to my dissipation of the night before, it was long

-after the appointed hour when Silvia awoke me.

-

-I hurried down stairs and ate my breakfast in solitude. I inquired for

-Beth and Rob, but the waitress told me they had left the dining-room

-at seven o'clock and gone for a walk in the woods. She said it with a

-knowing smile that told me she, too, must be a "sister of the Golden

-Circle."

-

-"And Miss Frayne?" I asked.

-

-"She went down the road over an hour ago."

-

-Evidently her courage had come up with the sun. I was greatly

-disturbed at the chance of her stumbling over one or more Polydores,

-and Rob didn't want to let the cat out of the bag until her article

-was written, as he believed that if the ghostly spell were broken, she

-would lose her "punch."

-

-I was unable to think of any plausible explanation to offer Silvia as

-to why I should start in pursuit, and I wished all sorts of dire

-calamities on Rob's blond head. Lovers were surely blind and selfish.

-

-About ten o'clock they came strolling in.

-

-"We didn't know it was so late," said Beth cheerfully, "but the boys

-will keep in the woods all right."

-

-"With her nose for news, there is no telling how far into the woods

-Miss Frayne's investigation will take her."

-

-"Say we go down by the lane and meet her," proposed Beth, "so that if

-she has run across the boys we can explain to her why we desire

-secrecy from Silvia."

-

-"You and Rob go," I advised. "It would seem odd to Silvia if we didn't

-ask her to go with us."

-

-So the newly engaged couple started down the road, but in their

-self-absorption they didn't notice the turn to the lane, and they got

-half way to Windy Creek before they came back to earth and the hotel.

-Miss Frayne still had not shown up, and I began to have misgivings

-lest the Polydores had locked her up in the house, but finally just as

-we were having a happy family gathering and discussing the new event

-under the shade of the one resort tree, she came excitedly up to us.

-

-"Such an interesting morning as I have had!" she exclaimed

-enthusiastically. "I made some corking pictures of the place, and I've

-found out about not only that ghost, but all ghosts--the whole race of

-ghosts."

-

-I hurriedly interrupted her and made elaborate and jumbled apologies

-for not keeping our engagement, which evidently bored her and

-mystified Silvia.

-

-"I am glad I went alone," she finally replied. "Otherwise I might not

-have got such an interesting interview."

-

-Beth, Rob, and I made frantic and appealing gestures to her behind

-Silvia's back, but she didn't seem to notice them.

-

-"Whom did you interview, the ghost?" asked Silvia.

-

-"No, indeed. Some very interesting and unusual people who are staying

-there."

-

-I threw her a wildly beseeching glance and Beth and Rob began at the

-same time to ply her with distracting questions. I think she seemed to

-divine that there was something in the situation that was not to be

-explained, but Silvia interrupted them.

-

-"Do let Miss Frayne tell us about her interview," she said. "We all

-seem to be very talkative today."

-

-I saw there was no way to dodge the dénouement, so I awaited the

-finale in dread desperation. It proved to be more of a stunner than I

-had expected.

-

-"I went down the lane," she said, "and through the grove, up the

-little hill, and laughed at myself for the hallucinations of the night

-before. There were no ghosts visible and the door to the haunted

-house was hospitably open. I stood on the hill long enough to make

-some pictures and then went on. I walked up the steps fearlessly and

-looked within. A woman, an untidy, disheveled-looking woman, sat at a

-table writing furiously in just the same breathless way I write when I

-have a scoop, and the presses are waiting open-mouthed for my copy.

-

-"She looked up and scowled at my intrusion.

-

-"'Don't bother me,' she said, and continued writing.

-

-"I went through the house and came outside again where I met an

-absent-minded, spectacled man. I told him who I was and of my object

-in coming to the house. Then he showed signs of coming to.

-

-"'Oh, the ghost!' he said. 'That is what brought me here. My wife is

-interested in more tangible, more material things. We have just

-returned from a long journey, and when we were nearly to our

-destination, our place of residence, I happened to read in a paper

-about this haunted house and its apparition, so we came right up here

-this morning to remain overnight and see if the article were true.'

-

-"I told him how successful I had been and he became quite alert and

-enthusiastic. He showed me why I should not have been alarmed, because

-ghosts, he said, were scientific facts. He then explained to me at

-length how the gases from the dead arise and form a nebulous vapor or

-a vaporous nebula. It sounded very simple and plausible when he told

-me, but I can't seem to remember it. Fortunately I have it all down in

-writing."

-

-Silvia's eyes and mine had met in speechless horror since she had

-mentioned the "writing woman."

-

-"Lucien!" Silvia now said in a tragic, hoarse whisper--"the

-Polydores!"

-

-"Oh, do you know them?" asked Miss Frayne. "Dr. Felix Polydore, the

-eminent LL.D. or something like that."

-

-"The whole family are D's," I said.

-

-"His wife is the highest of high-brows, and they are averse to

-interviews. They moved to a small city sometime ago to be secluded.

-Just think of my opportunity! I have them headlined! 'The Haunted

-House of Hope Haven. Ghost that appears at midnight scientifically

-explained by the distinguished Dr. Felix Polydore.'"

-

-"I think we are in luck," I said to Silvia, on second thoughts. "We

-will take them home by the nape of the neck and deliver their children

-into their keeping to have and to hold."

-

-"I can't turn Diogenes over to them," she said plaintively.

-

-"Diogenes!" repeated Miss Frayne in astonishment.

-

-I then narrated to her the history of our next-door neighbors, and how

-they planted their five children upon us.

-

-"We had better go down at once and see them," said Silvia, "before

-they escape. No telling where they might take it in their heads to

-go."

-

-"We will," I said, "we'll go soon after luncheon."

-

-"Thrice blessed haunted house," quoted Rob. "It gave me Beth, and it

-has restored the parents of the wise Ptolemy and 'Them Three.'"

-

-"And gave me a ripping story," said Miss Frayne.

-

-Just then the gong sounded, and after luncheon while I was comfortably

-tipped back in a chair, my feet on the veranda rail, seeing in the

-smoke from my pipe dream visions of Polydoreless days, a faint cry

-from Silvia brought me back to earth.

-

-"Lucien, look!"

-

-I looked.

-

-My chair came down to all fours and my feet slipped from the rail.

-

-

-

-

-CHAPTER XVI

-

-_Ptolemy's Tale_

-

-

-Four defiant, determined-looking Polydores came up the steps and bore

-down upon us. Then Silvia as usual thought she saw land ahead.

-

-"Oh, boys," she asked hopefully, "did your father send for you to meet

-him here? And when is he going to take you home?"

-

-"Didn't I tell you," I thundered at Ptolemy, "that you were not to

-leave that house--"

-

-"It left us," interrupted Emerald with a grin.

-

-"Went up in smoke," added Pythagoras blithely, "ghost and all."

-

-"Four minutes quicker," said Demetrius, "and it would have took father

-and mother, too."

-

-"Oh, is it the haunted house they are talking about?" asked Miss

-Frayne joyfully. "What a story I'll have!"

-

-Life to Miss Frayne seemed to be one story after another. Well, it was

-certainly becoming the same way to us.

-

-"Did the ghost set fire to the house?" asked Beth.

-

-"What are you all talking about," demanded Silvia, "and how did you

-know these boys were there? How long have you been here?" she asked,

-turning to Ptolemy.

-

-"I told you," I repeated angrily to the subdued boy, "not to leave.

-Those were plain orders. If the house did burn up, you could have

-stayed in your tent in the woods."

-

-Ptolemy's lips twitched faintly.

-

-"The house burned up and all our clothes and our stuff to eat, and our

-bats and things, and father and mother went away and I didn't know

-what to do, so--I came here. But we'll go back to our own house. We

-have learned to cook. Come on, boys."

-

-"You'll stay right here with me, son," and Rob's hand came down

-intimately on Ptolemy's shoulder.

-

-"It isn't likely we'll turn them out into the woods, when they haven't

-a roof over their heads," declared Silvia, drawing Emerald to her

-side.

-

-"I think you are absolutely inhuman, Lucien," cried Beth. "I don't see

-what has changed you so," and she proceeded to make room for

-Pythagoras in the porch swing.

-

-"Did the fire scare you?" asked Miss Frayne gently, as she put her

-arms about Demetrius.

-

-"Et tu, Brute? Well, I plainly see this is no place for an inhuman,

-childless, married man," I said with a laugh, walking down the

-veranda.

-

-In the doorway I met Diogenes, who raised his chubby arms invitingly.

-

-"Up, up, Ocean!" he begged sweetly.

-

-I lifted him to my shoulder, and then turned and walked triumphantly

-back to the family group.

-

-"Now," I said, "here is the whole d-dashed family. And I propose that

-each keep unto his charge the child he has now under his wing."

-

-Miss Frayne quickly relinquished the dirty Demetrius. Beth shrank away

-from Pythagoras.

-

-As I seated myself still holding Diogenes, his brothers sprang toward

-him in greeting, but he spat at one, kicked at another, and pulled the

-hair of a third, although he patted Ptolemy's cheek gently.

-

-"Now, we'll have this affair thrashed out," I declared in my most

-authoritative, professional manner, and I then proceeded to explain to

-Silvia the housing of the Polydores, and our strategies to keep their

-arrival a secret simply on her account.

-

-"Because you know," interpolated Beth, with a consideration for the

-feelings of the young Polydores--a consideration they had never before

-encountered--"we wanted you to have a nice rest."

-

-Silvia looked quite penitent and remorseful for her seeming lack of

-appreciation of our combined efforts. When I had answered all her

-inquiries satisfactorily, Miss Frayne's curiosity regarding the

-progeny of the eminent Polydores had to be fully relieved.

-

-"And do you mean that the scribbling lady I saw at the table is really

-the mother of these five boys?" she asked, unable to grasp the fact.

-

-"Yes; and the father hereof is the man who explained the ghosts to you

-so scientifically that you cannot remember what he said. Now, Ptolemy,

-we'll hear your story of the fire and the whereabouts of your parents.

-Take your time and tell it accurately."

-

-"Well, you see we did just as you said to, and took the ghost out of

-the window and went out to the woods early this morning so as not to

-let the paper lady see us."

-

-"Oh!" cried Miss Frayne, "am I the paper lady? I begin to see

-daylight. Are these boys the ghost perpetrators, and were you in on

-the put-up job?"

-

-"You're a good guesser," I replied.

-

-"And why wasn't I taken into your confidence?"

-

-"For two reasons. First, because your friend Rob said you'd get better

-results for copy--more inspirations and thrills, if you weren't behind

-the scenes on the ghost business,--and then we didn't want to tell you

-about the presence of the Polydores lest inadvertently you betray the

-fact to my wife. Now, proceed, Ptolemy."

-

-"After we were in the woods, I heard an automobile coming down the

-lane, and I went up near the edge of the woods and peeked out behind a

-tree, and pretty soon I saw father and mother come over the hill and

-go in our haunted house, so I came up there and hid under the window

-and heard mother say: 'What an ideal place to write this is. It looks

-as if I might really get a chance to write unmo--'

-

-"'--lested,'" I finished for him.

-

-"I guess so," he allowed. "Well, she began writing, so I didn't go in,

-but when father came outside I went up to him and told him you and

-mudder were at the hotel and that we were all with you. He told me

-they came up here to write an article for some big magazine about the

-ghost. He hired an automobile down at Windy Creek to bring them up to

-the house and the man was going to come back for them tomorrow

-morning. I didn't let on the ghost was a fake, because I thought he'd

-be so disappointed to have all his trouble for nothing, and he'd be

-mad at me for swiping his skull. I told him a paper lady was coming

-and then I went back to the woods. He went down with me to see the

-boys, and he said he would come back and have lunch with us. Mother

-doesn't ever stop to eat at noon when she is writing.

-

-"He went back and talked to the paper lady and pretty soon he came

-down and ate with us. I told him all about how we couldn't get any

-girl to do the work for us and so we had been living with you, and how

-Di got sick and mudder was all worn out taking care of him and came

-down here to rest, and that you wouldn't cash the check, so I did and

-was spending it and he said that was all right." Here Ptolemy flashed

-me a most triumphant glance.

-

-"He said you must be paid for all your expense and trouble, so he made

-out a check and gave it to me and told me to make mudder a nice

-present. He ain't so bad when he ain't thinking about dead stuff. When

-he felt in his pocket for his check book, he found a letter he had got

-yesterday and forgotten to open, so he read it then and found it was

-from some magazine, and the man said he'd pay his and mother's

-expenses to go to Chili and write up some stuff about--something. So

-father said they must go at once."

-

-"Not to Chili!" I exclaimed.

-

-"Yes; we all went up to the house with him and I took mother's pencil

-and paper away so she would have to listen. She was wild for Chili,

-and I had to go and hunt up a farmer who had a machine to take them

-down to Windy Creek. Father signed another blank check for you and

-said you could board us with it or do anything you thought best.

-

-"Then mother took a lot of papers out of her bag, some stuff she had

-written and didn't get suited with, and she stuffed them in the stove

-and set fire to them. Then we all went down to the lane to see father

-and mother off and when we got back the house was on fire. The chimney

-burned out."

-

-"Guess mother must have written some hot stuff," said Emerald.

-

-"It was burning so fast," continued Ptolemy, "that we didn't dast go

-in to save anything and all our food and clothes and balls and bats

-and fishing tackle are gone, and we didn't know what to do, or what to

-eat, and so--we came here."

-

-"You did just right, Ptolemy," I admitted. "I shouldn't have called

-you down--not until I heard your story, anyway."

-

-I held out my hand, which he shook solemnly, but with an injured air.

-

-"Do you mean to tell me," asked Miss Frayne, "that your father and

-mother went away without seeing the baby?"

-

-Ptolemy flushed a little.

-

-"You see," he explained apologetically, "mother gets woolly when she

-writes and she's forgotten there's Di. She thinks Demetrius is the

-youngest. She's mad about writing. If she sees a blank paper

-anywhere, she ain't happy until she has written something on it, and

-the sight of a pencil makes her fingers itch."

-

-[Illustration: I held out my hand, which he shook solemnly, but with an

-injured air]

-

-"Take warning, Miss Frayne," I said, "and don't get too literary."

-

-"Some day," resumed Ptolemy, "mother'll get the antiques all out of

-her system and then she'll remember us."

-

-I liked the boy's defense of his mother, and I began to see that Rob

-was right in thinking there were possibilities in the lad, but it was

-Silvia's influence that had developed them, for in the days when he

-borrowed soup plates of us, there had been no redeeming trait that I

-could discern.

-

-And while I was recalling this, I heard Silvia saying to him kindly:

-"And in the meantime, I'll be 'mudder' to you."

-

-"So will I," chimed in Beth.

-

-"I'll be a big brother," offered Rob.

-

-"I'll be next friend, Ptolemy," I contributed.

-

-Strange to say, my offer seemed to make the most impression on him. He

-came to me and gazed into my eyes earnestly.

-

-"I'll do just as you say," he promised.

-

-"Where do we'uns come in?" asked Pythagoras, with one of his satanic

-grins.

-

-Miss Frayne saved the day.

-

-"You all come in with me," she said, "and have lunch. I haven't eaten

-since breakfast, and I understand there is warm ginger cake and

-huckleberry pie. Aren't you hungry?"

-

-"You bet," spoke up Pythagoras. "We only had coffee, peanuts, and

-beans down in the woods, and father ate the beans and drank all the

-coffee."

-

-"We're out of the frying pan into the fire," said Silvia woefully,

-when we were alone.

-

-"I wish the Polydore parents had gone up in smoke," I declared.

-

-"Then your last hope of getting rid of the children would have gone up

-in smoke, too," argued Beth.

-

-"No; in case of the demise of their parents, we could have turned them

-over body and soul to the probate court," I informed her.

-

-"We will fill out this blank check for any amount, Lucien," declared

-Silvia, "that will induce a housekeeper to take charge of their house.

-I shall keep Diogenes, though, until he is older."

-

-"I wouldn't mind Ptolemy, either," I admitted. "I shall be interested

-in seeing what I can make of him, and he hasn't a bad influence over

-Diogenes, but I'll be hanged if anything would induce me to have 'Them

-Three' Chessy cats running wild over us. They can live in their house

-alone, or be put in a reformatory. We won't have them. We're under no

-obligations, pecuniary or moral, to look after them."

-

-"I think, Lucien, we might as well go home now. We've had a good rest

-and a good time, and I am anxious to be back and see how Huldah is

-getting on."

-

-As Huldah had never mastered two of the three R's, we had not been

-able to receive any reports from her.

-

-"I'll tell you what we'll do," proposed Beth. "Rob and I will take all

-the Polydores save Diogenes, and go home tomorrow and prepare the

-house and Huldah for the overflow. Then you two can come on with

-Diogenes the next day."

-

-"Good idea, Beth!" I approved. "I'd hate to face Huldah, unprepared,

-with the return of the Polydores _en masse_."

-

-"I am glad," said Silvia, "that Huldah has been having a rest from

-them for a few days."

-

-

-

-

-CHAPTER XVII

-

-_All About Uncle Issachar's Visit_

-

-

-The next morning's stage carried seven passengers to Windy Creek, as

-Miss Frayne with a big roll of "copy" also took her departure.

-

-Diogenes had been quite docile and amenable to my rule since the

-licking I gave him, so we had a pleasant and comfortable return

-journey on the following day.

-

-"I hope, Lucien," said Silvia, "you won't refuse to cash this check

-for a good amount. The Polydore parents may never show up, and it's

-only right we should be reimbursed for their keep."

-

-"I will cash it," I assured her, "and use it for a housekeeper or else

-send the boys off to a school. I should like very much to have it out

-with Felix Polydore, but, as you suggest, I may never have the

-opportunity to see him at close range."

-

-Beth, Rob, and Ptolemy met us at the station.

-

-"Where are 'Them Three'?" I asked hopefully.

-

-"Huldah is feeding them little pies hot from the kettle--the kind she

-cooks like doughnuts, you know."

-

-"Huldah cooking for 'Them Three'!" I exclaimed. "She must have passed

-into her second childhood. She grudged them even an apple to piece

-on."

-

-"She has pampered them ever since our return," said Rob.

-

-"Poor Huldah! She must indeed be afflicted with softening of the

-brain," I decided.

-

-"She has probably been so lonely, shut in here by herself," said

-Silvia, "that even 'Them Three' looked good to her."

-

-In the hallway Huldah met us. She was beaming with pleasure, but

-except in her bearing toward the children, she was quite normal.

-

-"We've all had a real good rest," she observed, "and you do look so

-well, Mrs. Wade. My! but this place has been lonesome. I'm glad we're

-all together again."

-

-"Now, Silvia, shut your eyes," directed Beth, "and come into the

-library. Ptolemy has bought you a present with the check his father

-gave him."

-

-"Beth helped me pick it out," said Ptolemy.

-

-Beth led the way into the library, and we followed.

-

-"Open your eyes."

-

-Silvia gave a little cry of pleasure, and looking over her shoulder, I

-beheld a baby grand piano.

-

-"Oh, Ptolemy!" she cried, giving him a fervent kiss and fond hug, "I

-can never let you do so much."

-

-"Oh, yes," he said, flushing a little under the endearments which were

-doubtless the first ever bestowed upon him. "Father's got a whole lot

-of money grandpa left him and it's fixed so he can't draw out only so

-much each year. He said the board and bother of us was worth more than

-this and we'll all enjoy the music. But Thag and Em and Dem ain't to

-touch it. I'll knock tar out of the first one that comes near it."

-

-I was disconsolate. I didn't see how we could return it and I didn't

-want the Polydore web woven any tighter. To think of Silvia's

-receiving from them what it had been my longing to give her! But as I

-was to learn later, she was to acquire much more than a piano from the

-eminent family.

-

-After dinner Silvia asked Huldah to come in and hear the music, and

-when Silvia's repertoire was exhausted, we gave our faithful servant

-all the little details of our trip which Beth had not supplied.

-

-"Now tell us, Huldah, how things went along here," said Silvia.

-

-"Well, you think some wonderful things happened to you all on your

-trip mebby--ghosts and proposals," looking at Beth and Rob, "and fires

-and Polydores, but back here in this quiet house something happened

-that has your ghosts and things skinned by a mile."

-

-"Oh, dear!" cried Silvia apprehensively, "what is it?"

-

-"Break it very gently, Huldah," I cautioned. "You know we've borne a

-good deal."

-

-"Your uncle Issachar was here for a couple of days."

-

-She certainly had made a sensation.

-

-"Not Uncle Issachar! Not here?" exclaimed Silvia incredulously.

-

-"Yes, ma'am. He came the next day after Beth and Mr. Rossiter and

-Polly left. I told him you'd gone away for a little vacation and rest.

-I didn't let on that I knew where you had gone, because I didn't want

-him straggling up there, too, or sending for you to come back. He said

-your absence would make no difference to his plans; that he never let

-nothing do that. He come to pay a visit and he should pay one."

-

-"Yes," said Silvia feebly. "That sounds like Uncle Issachar."

-

-"I told him to make himself perfectly at home; that every one did that

-to this place, and he said he would. I'd just slicked up the big front

-room upstairs and I seen to it that he had everything all right. I

-cooked the best dinner I knew how, and he said it was the first white

-man's meal he had eat since his ma died, so I found out what she used

-to cook and fed him on it. Them three kids and him eat like they was

-holler. I guess if Polly hadn't took them away your grocery bill would

-'a looked like Barb'ry Allen's grave.

-

-"Well, as I was saying, your uncle he eat till he got over his

-grouches, and like enough he'd be here eating yet, if he hadn't got a

-telegraph to hit the line for home, some big business deal, he said,

-and I guess it was a great deal, for he licked his chops and smacked

-his lips over it, and he give me a ten dollar bill to get a new dress

-and each of Them Three one dollar fer candy."

-

-"The old tightwad!" I exclaimed. "It was your cooking, sure, that made

-him loosen up that way."

-

-"Tightwad nothing!" she declared indignantly. "You won't think he was

-tight-wadded when you read this here letter he left for you. He told

-me what was in it, and I've just been busting to tell it to Beth, but

-I waited for you to know it first."

-

-With great excitement Silvia opened the letter, read it, gasped,

-re-read it, and then in consternation handed it to me.

-

-"Read it aloud, Lucien," she bade. "Maybe I can believe it then."

-

-This was the letter.

-

-  "My dear Niece:

-

-  "I was sorry not to see you, but glad to learn that, as every wise

-  and good woman should do, you are raising a fine family--a family

-  of _sons_, which is what our country most needs. Your son

-  Pythagoras informed me that you had taken your oldest child,

-  Ptolemy, and your youngest, Diogenes, with you, I am glad you left

-  three such promising samples for me to see.

-

-  "As you have five sons, I have, agreeable to my promise, placed in

-  your name in the First National Bank of your city the sum of

-  twenty-five thousand dollars.

-

-                                           "Your affectionate uncle,

-                                                   "Issachar Innes."

-

-"Huldah," I asked, "did you tell him the Polydores were our

-children?"

-

-"Me?" she repeated indignantly. "Me tell a lie like that! No; I didn't

-get no chance to tell him anything about them. 'Them Three' done the

-telling. The first thing that one"--pointing to Pythagoras--"said was,

-'Mudder went away and took the baby, Diogenes, with her.' And then

-that next one"--indicating Emerald--"said: 'Yes, and our oldest

-brother, Ptolemy, went on with Beth to see them.'

-

-"The old gent asked them all their names and ages and he was so

-pleased and said he thought it was just fine for you to raise five

-sons, so I didn't have no heart to tell him no different. 'Twan't none

-of my business anyhow. Then 'Them Three' kept talking about stepdaddy,

-and your Uncle Issachar asks 'Who the devil is he? Did my niece marry

-again?' And I told him as how Mr. Wade was all the husband you ever

-had, and that stepdaddy was nothing but a sort of pet-name the kids

-had give Mr. Wade."

-

-"I told him," said Demetrius, "that stepdaddy was cross to us

-sometimes and not as nice as mudder, and he said--"

-

-"You shut up," commanded Huldah quickly, "and let me talk."

-

-"No," I intercepted, "I'd really be interested in hearing what he told

-Uncle Issachar. What was it, Demetrius, that your great-uncle said to

-you?"

-

-"He said," stated the imp, darting his tongue out in triumph at his

-victory over Huldah, "that he always thought you was a stiff."

-

-"He didn't say nothing of the kind!" declared Huldah. "He said you was

-stiff-necked, and that he presumed you would act more like a

-stepfather than the real thing. Well, as I was saying, he asked their

-names, and he liked them fine. Said they were so classy."

-

-"Didn't he say classic, Huldah?" inquired Rob.

-

-"Mebby. What's the difference?" snapped Huldah.

-

-"None," I assured her quickly, dodging a definition.

-

-"She told him--" began Emerald.

-

-"You shut up," again adjured Huldah, "or I'll never bake you one of

-those small pies no more."

-

-"Oh, please, Huldah," I coaxed. "Let us hear everything. I've always

-told you my life's secrets, and I don't mind what you or the boys told

-him."

-

-"Well, I suppose what he was going to tattle was that I thought the

-old gent might feel hurt, 'cause none of them was named after him, so

-I told him Polly's middle name was Issachar."

-

-"Why, Huldah," remonstrated Silvia.

-

-"Well, he's always wanted a middle name, and he's never been baptized,

-so you can stick it in and have him ducked next Sunday and then that

-will square that. 'Them Three' stuck to him like a hive of bees, and I

-was scairt for fear they'd let the cat out of the bag, and so long as

-they had put it in, I thought it might just as well stay in, but they

-were just as slick as grease in all they said. They'll hang in that

-rogues' gallery yet."

-

-"I suppose they were pretty--strenuous," said Silvia with a sigh.

-

-"They was more than that. The first afternoon right after dinner when

-he was sitting on the front porch, sleeping peaceful and snoring, that

-there one--" pointing to Pythagoras--

-

-"Tattle-tale!" he began, but I administered a cuff and he subsided

-into surprised silence.

-

-[Illustration: "He went to the front window and dropped a young kitten

-down on the old gent's head."]

-

-"He," said Huldah, looking pleased at this little attention to the

-boy, "went to the front window and dropped a young kitten down on the

-old gent's head. It clawed something fierce. We had just got things

-going smooth again when Emmy got one of his earaches. I roasted an

-onion and put in his ear, and what did he do but take it out of his

-ear and slip it down your poor uncle's back."

-

-"Why didn't you beat them?" I asked indignantly.

-

-"Because the old gent did that. He put 'em across his knee, and

-believe me, it was some licking they caught. They didn't let out a

-whimper and that pleased him."

-

-"Huh!" said Emerald. "Thag don't know how to cry. He hasn't got any

-tears, and old Uncle Iz didn't hurt me, because, you see, when I heard

-Thag getting his, I went and stuffed the Declaration of Independence,

-that book of stepdaddy's that Demetrius tore the pictures out of, in

-my pants."

-

-"Go on!" urged Rob delightedly. "What else did you all do? Uncle must

-have had some time. It would make a fine scenario. 'The first visit of

-the rich uncle.'"

-

-"Well," resumed Huldah. "One of 'em put red pepper in the old man's

-bed, and he like to sneeze his head off, but he said as how sneezing

-was healthy, and showed you'd got rid of a cold."

-

-"He never got on to the pepper," said Demetrius gleefully.

-

-"In the morning, that second one put a toad in his new uncle's pocket,

-and Emmy broke his specs. Then Meetie he dropped his watch. They used

-his razor to cut the lawn with. And then they took him down to the

-creek to go fishing, and they put the fish in Uncle's silk hat, and

-and----"

-

-"Stop!" implored Silvia, who was now in tears. "Uncle Issachar

-believes them mine! Ours! And that I brought them up! Oh, why did we

-ever go away?"

-

-"Oh, pshaw," exclaimed Huldah comfortingly, "he said you had brung

-them up fine; that they were no mollycoddles or Lizzie boys, and he

-didn't suppose you had so much sense as to leave them natural."

-

-"A left-handed one for mudder," laughed Beth.

-

-"He must be a very peculiar man--ready for the asylum, I should say,"

-commented Rob.

-

-"He would have been if he'd stayed any longer, or else I would have

-been," declared Huldah.

-

-"Couldn't you make them behave, someway?" asked Silvia.

-

-"Well, at first I tried to, and every time I pinched one of 'em when

-the old gent wasn't looking, or knocked 'em down when I got 'em alone,

-they would threaten to tell who they was, and then when I seen how

-your uncle liked the way they acted, I just let 'em go it, head on.

-And seeing as how they each brung you five thousand, I've treated 'em

-best I know how. They're worth it, now. They done one thing more that

-was awful. Could you stand it to hear?" turning to Silvia.

-

-"Please, Silvia," implored Rob.

-

-"Well," argued Silvia faintly. "I suppose we might as well know the

-worst."

-

-"You see the old gent didn't always get up to breakfast with the kids

-and one morning when I brought in the cakes Emmy looked up and

-grinned. I nearly dropped the plate. He had both sets of the old man's

-false teeth in his mouth. I got 'em back in his room without his

-waking, but I'd have liked a picture of Emmy."

-

-"Pythagoras," I demanded, when we had recovered from this recital,

-"why didn't you tell him who you were, and how you all came to be

-here with us?"

-

-"Because she is our mudder, and we are going to stay with her, always.

-We've got a snap. So has father and mother. And Ptolemy told us that

-if you ever got any kids, you'd get five thousand each for them, and I

-thought we'd just make that much for you. So we played Uncle Iz for

-it. Easy money, all right, all right."

-

-"Talk about fine financiering," quoth Rob. "'Them Three' will surely

-land on Wall Street."

-

-But poor Silvia had no heart for humor and was weeping silently.

-

-"Why, look here, my dear," I said in consolation, "this is a very

-simple matter to adjust. In the morning when you feel better, just

-write a full explanation of the affair and inclose your check for

-twenty-five thousand."

-

-Silvia quickly wiped away her tears.

-

-"I'll do it tonight, Lucien. I feel better now. I never thought of

-writing."

-

-Huldah and "Them Three" looked most lugubrious.

-

-"The old skinflint won't miss it as much as I would a penny," declared

-our faithful handmaiden. "And I'm sure you've earnt that twenty-five

-thousand if anyone ever did. You've had as much care and worry about

-them brats as you would if they'd been your own."

-

-"Huldah," I said severely, "there is a pretty stiff penalty for

-obtaining money under false pretences."

-

-"After all the pains we took to make things lively for him, so he

-wouldn't get bored and think he was having a poor time!" regretted

-Pythagoras.

-

-"And us watching every word we spoke so as not to give it away,"

-wailed Emerald.

-

-"Cake's all dough," muttered Demetrius.

-

-Ptolemy regarded the three disapprovingly. He had the old inscrutable

-look, the look that foreboded mischief, in his eyes.

-

-"You bungled, you fool kids!" he said in disgust, "and Huldah, what

-did you want to let on to mudder for that he thought we was hers? You

-ought to have torn up the note he left and just said he'd put

-twenty-five thousand in the bank for her."

-

-"Huh! you're just jealous because you weren't in the Uncle Izzy deal

-yourself," jeered Pythagoras. "You always think you're the only one

-that can do anything right."

-

-"I wish you had been here, Polly," said Huldah, "I am sure you could

-have worked it through somehow."

-

-"I wish I had stayed and put it across," he answered. "If you and the

-kids would only learn not to blab everything you know. It's the only

-way to work anything. Minute you tell a thing, it's all off."

-

-There was still a great deal of development work to be put on

-Ptolemy's moral standard.

-

-"You'll find, my lad," remonstrated Rob, "that honesty is the best

-policy."

-

-"I'd have been perfectly honest about it," he defended. "I would have

-told him the truth, and how our parents had deserted us, and how

-mudder took us in when we were homeless and was bringing us up like

-her own because she hadn't got any, and how stepdaddy wanted to turn

-us out, and she wouldn't let him, and then he would have decided

-against stepdaddy and given mudder the money so she could keep us."

-

-"Ptolemy," I said warningly, "there is a way of telling the truth, or

-rather of coloring white lies with enough truth to make them deceive,

-that is more dishonorable than an out and out lie."

-

-"Tell me, Ptolemy," asked Silvia, "how did you know about that offer

-of five thousand dollars for each child?"

-

-"I overheard it," he said guardedly; "but I can't remember where."

-

-"He heard me say so," confessed Huldah.

-

-"It was when he first come here and he was making us so much trouble,

-and I told him it was too bad we had to have other folks' brats around

-when, if we only had our own, they'd be bringing in something."

-

-The recital now broke up and Silvia sat down to write a long

-explanatory letter to Uncle Issachar. The next morning I procured her

-a check from the First National Bank and she filled it out.

-

-"Oh!" she said with indrawn breath, when she had asked me how to write

-twenty-five thousand dollars, "I never expected to be able to sign my

-name to a check for such an amount."

-

-"You never will again, I fear," was my sad prophecy.

-

-"It must feel rich," said Beth, "just to have a large check pass

-through your fingers."

-

-"Them Three" came the nearest to tears that they were able to do.

-

-"We worked so hard for it," they sighed.

-

-"So did I!" muttered Huldah.

-

-"I couldn't live a double life," declared Silvia.

-

-

-

-

-CHAPTER XVIII

-

-_In Which I Decide on Extreme Measures_

-

-

-Everyone in our house, which was now filled to overflowing--in fact,

-there were Polydores on sofas and in beds on the floor--save Silvia

-and myself, was on the alert for a response to the letter during the

-succeeding few days. Knowing Uncle Issachar, we felt sure he would

-make no response, or notice the matter in any way save to cash the

-check promptly.

-

-The monotony was somewhat relieved by the difficulties under which

-Beth and Rob were pursuing their courtship. On the third evening

-succeeding our return, Silvia and I started upstairs early to give

-them a chance to have the exclusive use of the library, the Polydores

-having all been sent to bed. As we were making some plausible excuse

-for going to our room, Beth remarked with a smile:

-

-"Your motive in retiring so early is commendable, but of no particular

-benefit to Rob and me. The Polydores, like the poor, we always have

-with us."

-

-"I saw that every one of them except Ptolemy was in bed at eight

-o'clock last night and the night before," said Silvia. "You don't mean

-to tell me--"

-

-"Yes, I do mean," laughed Beth. "Not Ptolemy, though. He has become

-too dignified to spy on us, but last night as we sat here on the

-settee, we heard a suppressed sneeze, and Rob pulled Emerald from

-underneath."

-

-"How in the world did he ever squeeze under there?" I asked, gazing at

-the slight space between the floor and settee.

-

-[Illustration: "We heard a suppressed sneeze, and Rob pulled Emerald from

-underneath."]

-

-"He did look a little flattened, as if he had been put in a letter

-press," said Rob. "I gave him a dime to go to bed and stay there. Beth

-and I had just resumed our conversation when a still, small voice

-said: 'I'll go to bed for a dime, too.' I then hauled Demetrius from

-behind the davenport."

-

-"And the night before," said Beth, "when we were sitting on the porch,

-Pythagoras rolled off the roof, where he had been listening to us, and

-came down into the vines."

-

-"Now I'll stop that," I declared. "I'll tie them in their beds and

-lock the doors and windows."

-

-"No," refused Rob. "I'd like to try to circumvent them by their own

-weapons of wits. I have a little plan which I don't dare whisper to

-you lest their long-range ears get in their work. We are just about to

-start for a walk."

-

-"In this pouring rain!" protested Silvia.

-

-"We like the rain," he replied, "and we--are not going far."

-

-Pythagoras entered the room just then and looked astounded and

-disappointed when he saw Beth and Rob departing.

-

-"We are going out to a small party," Rob remarked to me, casually.

-

-It was after eleven when we heard them returning.

-

-"Do you suppose they have been walking all this time?" said Silvia in

-concern. "Beth wore no rubbers."

-

-The next day was Sunday and Huldah put into execution a plan for

-procuring one happy hour each week. This plan was the admission of the

-Polydores, _en masse_, to one of the Sunday schools. She chose the

-church most remote from home so they would be a long time going and

-coming, which she said would "help some."

-

-"Now," said Beth, as she watched them march away, "I can dare to tell

-you where we spent last evening. We were at the Polydore house next

-door. There is a little vine-screened porch on the other side of the

-house. Rob managed to open one of the windows and brought out a couple

-of chairs. It was as snug as could be."

-

-"I'll corral them every night," I said, "until you make your getaway,

-and I'll give you the key so you can go inside when it is cool or

-stormy."

-

-"We'll go around the block by way of precaution," said Rob.

-

-Presently Huldah returned from the Sunday school with triumphant

-mien.

-

-"They made them all into one class and put a redheaded woman with

-spectacles in for their teacher. I gave them street car tickets to

-come home on."

-

-When the Polydores returned, however, they were dragging Diogenes

-along and he looked quite weary.

-

-"Didn't you come home on the street car?" I asked Ptolemy.

-

-"No; we sold our tickets and got ice cream sodas," he explained. "We

-took turns carrying Diogenes on our backs."

-

-"You only had one ticket for yourself, and two half fares for Thag and

-Emmy," said Huldah suspiciously. "I thought Meetie and Di could ride

-free. You couldn't have sold them tickets for enough for sodies."

-

-"Rob gave us three nickels to put in the plate," said Pythagoras. "We

-only put in one of them, seeing we were all in one family and one

-class. That gave us four nickels for ice cream sodas and the clerk

-gave Di half a glass some one had left."

-

-"I gave you a penny for Di to put in," said Huldah. "What did you do

-with that?"

-

-"We wanted him to put it in, and when they took up the collection, he

-wouldn't give it," said Emerald. "I tried to take it away from him

-and he swallowed it. The redhead teacher was awful scared, but I told

-her he was used to swallowing things and that you said he carried a

-whole department store in his insides."

-

-"Poor little Di," said Silvia; "it's the only way he has of keeping

-things away from you all."

-

-That night I saw to it personally that each and every Polydore was in

-his little bed. It should have aroused my suspicions that none of them

-rebelled, or had evinced the slightest degree of interest or curiosity

-when Beth and Rob announced their intention of going out for the

-evening.

-

-At ten-thirty the lovers returned, bringing in Pythagoras, who was

-clad in his pajamas.

-

-"Where did you pick him up?" I asked in astonishment.

-

-"He picked us up," said Beth.

-

-"He was wise, maybe, in discovering where we were," said Rob, "but he

-fell down when he tried to work off the ghost screeches on us. We

-recognized them at once, and ran him down inside, so our party broke

-up."

-

-"Come here, Pythagoras," I commanded.

-

-He obeyed promptly and fearlessly.

-

-"How did you know they were there, and when did you go over there?"

-

-"I was playing over in our house today," he replied, "and I found one

-of Beth's hairpins with the little stones in, in the big chair, so I

-knew that was where they hid last night. As soon as you went down

-stairs tonight, I got out the window and slid down the roof and came

-over to scare them."

-

-"You've missed a lot of sleep the last few nights," I said quietly,

-"so you will have to make it up. You can stay in bed all day

-tomorrow."

-

-"Hold on, Lucien!" exclaimed Rob. "Tomorrow's the big baseball game of

-the season, and I promised to take them all."

-

-"So much the better," I said. "He will learn to mind."

-

-Pythagoras looked as if he had been struck, and quickly put his arms

-across his eyes. In a moment his shoulders were heaving. At last I had

-found a vulnerable spot in the stoic, and I began to relent.

-

-"See here, Pythagoras," I said, "if I let you up in time to go to the

-game, will you promise me something?"

-

-"Anything," came in a muffled voice.

-

-"Will you promise not to spy on Beth and Rob and keep Emerald and

-Demetrius from doing it?"

-

-"Yes," he promised quickly, his arm coming down and his face

-brightening. "Sure I will, but I did want to hear what they said."

-

-"Why?" asked Rob interestedly.

-

-"We're getting up a show, and Em is going to take the part of a girl

-and he spoons with Tolly, and we didn't know what to have them say to

-each other."

-

-"I'll rehearse you on the play, and prompt you," said Beth with a

-little giggle.

-

-"Come on upstairs with me now," I said to Pythagoras.

-

-When I landed him at his door, he leaned up against me, and rubbed his

-cheek against my arm.

-

-"Thank you for letting me go to the game," he said.

-

-I found myself responding to his affectionate advance. This would

-clearly never do. I couldn't let another Polydore squeeze himself into

-my regard.

-

-"Silvia," I said abruptly, as I came into our room, "we must really

-make some immediate plan for disposing of the Polydores, or, at

-least, of 'Them Three.'"

-

-"Huldah is managing them tolerably well," demurred Silvia. "Since they

-depreciated in market value from five thousand per to nothing, she has

-resumed her former harsh treatment of them."

-

-"Well, we are not going to keep them," I replied with finality. "We

-are under no obligations to do so. I am going to put them in a school

-for boys and use the blank check Felix Polydore left to pay for their

-tuition."

-

-"I suppose that is what we will have to do," she admitted with a

-little sigh. "Yet, Lucien, it doesn't seem quite right. If they are in

-a boys' school, they will keep on right along the same lines. They

-need home influence and contact with women. Demetrius is fond of music

-and will sit still and listen when I play. Emerald obeyed me today the

-first time I spoke, and I even thought I saw a glimmer of good in

-Pythagoras."

-

-I didn't tell her that this glimmer was what had decided me to dispose

-of him.

-

-"It would, doubtless, be better for them to stay," I admitted, "but I

-am not going to be a martyr to the cause. They are going."

-

-The next morning I wrote for catalogues and prospectus to the

-different schools, and I felt as if three old men of the sea had been

-lifted from my shoulders.

-

-

-

-

-CHAPTER XIX

-

-_Which Has to Do with Some Letters_

-

-

-One morning when I came down to my office, I found a letter postmarked

-from the city in which Uncle Issachar lived addressed to me. I opened

-it and found inclosed, with seal unbroken, the letter Silvia had

-mailed to her uncle and which she had marked "personal." There was a

-note addressed to me accompanying it:

-

-  "Dear Sir:

-

-  "I am returning herewith your personal letter to Mr. Innes, as he

-  has gone to South America and left no forwarding address. Should

-  such be received from him at any future date, you will be duly

-  notified thereof.

-

-                                          "Very truly yours,

-                                          "Chester K. Winslow,

-                                                    "Secretary."

-

-I read the above to Silvia at luncheon. She was grievously disappointed

-because her uncle had not received her letter of explanation.

-

-"It is most fortunate," she said, "that I sent it in one of your

-office envelopes."

-

-As usual, she had found the bright spot she always looked for and

-generally discovered.

-

-"I wouldn't care," she said, "to have Uncle Issachar's private

-secretary or the dead-letter office know all our private affairs, but

-I shall feel like an impostor until Uncle Issachar is undeceived."

-

-"I feel a hunch," said Rob, "that Uncle Issachar will run across

-Doctor Felix and his wife down there in Chili and find you out."

-

-"He may run across the Polydores," I replied, "but he'll never find

-out from them that they are the parents of Silvia's children. They

-would not mention a subject in which they have so little interest."

-

-"But," argued Beth, "naturally they'd tell him where they lived, and

-then, of course, he'd say he had a niece living in the same town. They

-would inquire her name and inform him that they were her near

-neighbors, and then he'd tell them what fine sons you have, and then,

-of course, the Polydores would claim their own."

-

-"Which theory goes to show," said Silvia, "how little you know Uncle

-Issachar and the Polydore seniors. He would not think of speaking to

-strangers, and if he did, he wouldn't say any of those usual

-conversational things you mentioned. The Polydores wouldn't be

-interested, in the least, in knowing he had a niece unless she

-happened to know something about antiques, and if he should describe

-her children, she wouldn't recognize them."

-

-After luncheon I went out on the porch. While I sat there, the mail

-carrier came along and handed me a letter--a returned letter. It was

-directed in Ptolemy's round hand to Mr. Issachar Innes. He had

-evidently used the envelope to Silvia's letter to her uncle as his

-model, for the address was written in the same way. "Personal" was

-added in the left-hand corner, and his name and our house number was

-in the upper left-hand corner.

-

-I went into the library where my wife, Beth, Rob, and Ptolemy were

-sitting.

-

-"Ptolemy," I said, handing him the letter, "here is your communication

-to Uncle Issachar, returned."

-

-He lost some of his usual _sang froid_ and appeared quite disconcerted.

-

-"Why, Ptolemy," exclaimed Silvia in consternation, "what in the world

-did you write to Uncle Issachar about?"

-

-Ptolemy had recovered and was quite himself again.

-

-"About us," he said innocently. "As the oldest of our family, I

-thought I ought to do a little explaining."

-

-"And I think," I said, looking at him keenly, "that we have the right

-to know what your explanation was."

-

-Ptolemy handed me over the letter.

-

-"Read it aloud," he said, with the air of one who is proud of his

-productions.

-

-Rob's eyes shone in anticipation.

-

-I broke the seal. A note from the secretary fell out. It was an

-apology for not returning the letter sooner, but it had been

-inadvertently mislaid. I then read aloud the letter Ptolemy had

-written:

-

-  "Dear Uncle Issachar

-

-  "I am sorry Diogenes and I were away when you were here. You

-  thought the others were fine, but you should have seen--Diogenes.

-  I hope you will send mudder back her check, because there is lots

-  of things she needs, and it takes a lot of money to take care of

-  all us. You see our own father and mother don't want to be

-  bothered with us and they went away and left us, and so we are

-  living with mudder the same as if we were really her adopted

-  children, and if her own would have been worth five thousand per

-  to you, I think her adopted children ought to be worth half as

-  much anyway, so it would only be fair to send her a check for

-  $12,500 anyway, and if you are a good sport like the kids said you

-  were, you'll send back her check.

-

-                                            "Yours truly,

-                                    "P. Issachar Polydore Wade."

-

-Rob's laughter was so free and spontaneous that I had to join in

-against my will. Ptolemy, who had seemed a little apprehensive of the

-verdict, looked accordingly relieved.

-

-"That's a fine letter, young man," approved Rob. "Stepdaddy ought to

-take you into his law firm."

-

-"No," declared Beth. "I think Ptolemy has inherited his mother's gift.

-He should be a writer."

-

-"Not on your life!" cried Ptolemy with feeling. "I want to live

-things instead of writing about them."

-

-A tear or two came into Silvia's eyes.

-

-"It was very sweet in you, Ptolemy, to try to get the money for

-mudder."

-

-I felt that all this commendation was bad for Ptolemy, and that it was

-up to me to take a reef in his sails.

-

-"It was a well-meant letter, Ptolemy," I said, "and I know that your

-motive was unselfish, but it is very poor policy to meddle in other

-people's affairs. Meddlers are mischief makers in spite of their good

-intentions. I am very glad it did not fall into Uncle Issachar's

-hands."

-

-Ptolemy looked sufficiently squelched.

-

-"By the way, Silvia," I said. "I wrote Mr. Winslow and told him not to

-forget to forward Uncle Issachar's address as soon as he possibly

-could do so, as I had matters of importance to communicate to him."

-

-"He may travel about like father and mother," said Ptolemy, again

-regaining confidence, "so why don't you put that check for twenty-five

-thousand in the Savings Department and get the interest on it

-anyway?"

-

-"I think, Ptolemy," said Rob, "that you are too good a financier,

-after all, to become a lawyer. I will go back to my first conviction

-that you should be a promoter."

-

-"We'll give him to Uncle Issachar," I proposed, "for a partner."

-

-

-

-

-CHAPTER XX

-

-_"The Money We Earnt for You"_

-

-

-Life went on uneventfully save for the dire doings of "Them Three."

-Knowing that they were to be sent to school, they were having their

-last fling at life untrammeled. September came, and Rob set the day

-for his departure, as he was going home to arrange his affairs, so he

-and Beth could leave for an extended honeymoon trip. I planned to go

-with Rob and install the Polydore three in their distant school. They

-were so despondent at leaving, as the time drew near, that a feeling

-of gloom hung over the household, all the members of which, even to

-Huldah, urged me to relent. But I remained adamant until the evening

-before the day set for the dissolution of the Polydore family, when

-something happened that changed all our plans.

-

-We were assembled in the library in a state of forced cheerfulness

-when the doorbell rang. I answered it, and receipted for a telegram

-which I opened and read in the hall. It was from Chester K. Winslow.

-

-"Silvia," I said gravely, as I returned to the library, "your Uncle

-Issachar is dead. Died in South America. Heart disease. Very sudden."

-

-Conflicting emotions were depicted in Silvia's expression.

-

-The thought uppermost in all our minds was expressed simultaneously by

-"Them Three."

-

-"Gee! Then you can keep the money we earnt for you."

-

-"You know," interpolated Rob in soft-pedaled tone, "they are going to

-train school children toward the military--teach the young ideas how

-to shoot, as it were. It won't be long before they are ordered to

-Mexico to protect us."

-

-"If Them Three ever meets that there Viller man," commented Huldah

-confidently, "the fur will fly some."

-

-"Lucien," said Silvia thoughtfully, "we are under obligations to these

-children, you see, after all."

-

-"Yes," I acknowledged with a sigh, "seeing they are now ours, bought

-and paid for, I suppose we'll have to treat them as such."

-

-"You wouldn't send your own kids away to school," said Pythagoras

-significantly.

-

-"No," I reluctantly allowed, answering the protest of Pythagoras, "and

-we won't send you. You will all go to the public school tomorrow."

-

-The deafening Polydore powwow that followed made me hope that Uncle

-Issachar had met with his just deserts.

-

-

-

-

-"By the author of Mildew Manse."

-

-AMARILLY OF CLOTHES-LINE ALLEY

-

-By BELLE K. MANIATES

-

-Illustrated. 12mo. $1.00 net.

-

-A book for the many who are weary of problem novels. How prosperity came

-to the Jenkins family, how Amarilly got an education, how the Boarder

-married Lily Rose and built the Annex, and the adventures of the rector's

-surplice, are told in a wholesome little story, between whose covers await

-many laughs, and a tear or two as well.

-

-Amarilly is blessed with a large family and amiable neighbors, and their

-doings are amusing, but her fancies and devices are captivating.... The

-little heroine is all right.--_New York Sun._

-

-The sort of story which pulls at the heartstrings of all readers who like

-a real and genuine character.... No one can afford to miss the sweet humor

-and helpful cheeriness which the author serves in generous

-measure.--_Boston Globe_.

-

-"Amarilly of Clothes-Line Alley" is a dear companion for vacation days

-and comes deservedly under the books of real amusement.... Dear Amarilly!

-she brightens every hour spent with her.--_Buffalo News_.

-

-LITTLE, BROWN & CO., Publishers

-

-34 Beacon Street, Boston

-

-

-

-

-

-End of Project Gutenberg's Our Next-Door Neighbors, by Belle Kanaris Maniates

-

-*** END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK 30075 ***

+*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK 30075 ***
+
+OUR NEXT-DOOR NEIGHBORS
+
+
+
+
+By Belle K. Maniates
+
+AMARILLY OF CLOTHES-LINE ALLEY
+
+MILDEW MANCE
+
+OUR NEXT-DOOR NEIGHBORS
+
+
+
+
+[Illustration: "What's your rush?" I asked, when I had overtaken him.
+FRONTISPIECE. _See page 114._]
+
+
+
+
+OUR NEXT-DOOR NEIGHBORS
+
+By
+
+Belle Kanaris Maniates
+
+With illustrations by
+
+Tony Sarg
+
+Boston
+
+Little, Brown, and Company
+
+1917
+
+
+
+
+Copyright, 1917,
+
+By Little, Brown, and Company.
+
+All rights reserved
+
+Published February, 1917
+
+Norwood Press
+
+Set up and electrotyped by J. S. Cushing Co., Norwood, Mass., U.S.A.
+
+Presswork by The Colonial Press, Boston, Mass., U.S.A.
+
+
+
+
+CONTENTS
+
+      I ABOUT SILVIA AND MYSELF                                      1
+     II INTRODUCING OUR NEXT-DOOR NEIGHBORS                          9
+    III IN WHICH WE ARE PESTERED BY POLYDORES                       28
+     IV IN WHICH WE TAKE BOARDERS                                   45
+      V IN WHICH WE TAKE A VACATION                                 61
+     VI A FLIRT AND A WOMAN-HATER                                   77
+    VII IN WHICH NOTHING MUCH HAPPENS                               90
+   VIII PTOLEMY DISAPPEARS AND I VISIT A HAUNTED HOUSE              99
+     IX IN WHICH WE SEE GHOSTS                                     123
+      X IN WHICH WE MAKE SOME DISCOVERIES                          138
+     XI A BAD MEANS TO A GOOD END                                  152
+    XII "TOO MUCH POLYDORES"                                       164
+   XIII ROB'S FRIEND THE REPORTER                                  173
+    XIV A MIDNIGHT EXCURSION                                       195
+     XV WHAT MISS FRAYNE FOUND OUT                                 203
+    XVI PTOLEMY'S TALE                                             213
+   XVII ALL ABOUT UNCLE ISSACHAR'S VISIT                           229
+  XVIII IN WHICH I DECIDE ON EXTREME MEASURES                      254
+    XIX WHICH HAS TO DO WITH SOME LETTERS                          267
+     XX "THE MONEY WE EARNT FOR YOU"                               276
+
+
+
+
+ILLUSTRATIONS
+
+  "What's your rush?" I asked, when I had overtaken
+      him.                                              _Frontispiece_
+  Uncle Issachar                                                    10
+  Dr. Felix Polydore                                                23
+  "Lucien Wade!" she gasped. "Here are our letters to
+      Beth and Rob."                                                80
+  He pleaded eloquently to be taken with us.                       102
+  I babbled aimlessly to myself and then managed to
+      pull together and beat it to the lake                        126
+  The landlady intears waylaid me                                  132
+  I had to carry Diogenes most of the way                          168
+  Now and then above his howls, I heard Silvia's
+      plaintive protests outside the door                          192
+  I held out my hand, which he shook solemnly, but
+      with an injured air                                          224
+  "He went to the front window and dropped a young
+      kitten down on the old gent's head."                         242
+  "We heard a suppressed sneeze, and Rob pulled
+      Emerald from underneath."                                    256
+
+
+
+
+OUR NEXT-DOOR NEIGHBOURS
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER I
+
+_About Silvia and Myself_
+
+
+Some people have children born unto them, some acquire children and
+others have children thrust upon them. Silvia and I are of the last
+named class. We have no offspring of our own, but yesterday, today,
+and forever we have those of our neighbor.
+
+We were born and bred in the same little home-grown city and as a
+small boy, even, I was Silvia's worshiper, but perforce a worshiper
+from afar.
+
+Her upcoming had been supervised by a grimalkin governess who drew
+around the form of her young charge the awful circle of exclusiveness,
+intercourse with child-kind being strictly prohibited.
+
+Children are naturally gregarious little creatures, however, and
+Silvia on rare occasions managed to break parole and make adroit
+escape from surveillance. Then she would speed to the top of the
+boundary wall that separated the stable precincts from an alluring
+alley which was the playground of the plebeian progeny of the humble
+born.
+
+To the circle of dirty but fascinating ragamuffins she became an
+interested tangent, a silent observer. Here I had my first meeting
+with her. I was not of her class, neither was I to the alley born, but
+sailed in the sane mid-channel that ameliorates the distinction
+between high and low life.
+
+On this eventful day I was taking a short cut on my way to school. One
+of the group of alleyites, with the inherent friendliness of the
+unchartered but big-hearted members of the silt of the stream of
+humans, had proffered to little Silvia a chip on which was a patch of
+mud designed to become a fruitcake stuffed with pebbles in lieu of
+raisins and frosted with moistened ashes. Before the enticing pastime
+of transformation was begun, however, Silvia was swiftly snatched from
+the contaminating midst and borne away over the ramparts.
+
+Thereafter I haunted the alley, hoping for another glimpse of the
+little picture girl on the wall. At last I attained my desire. One
+Saturday afternoon I saw her coming, alone, down a long rosebush
+bordered path. A thrill ran through me. Our eyes met. Yet all I found
+to say was: "C'mon over."
+
+She responded to this invitation and I helped her over the wall. She
+looked longingly at the Irish playing in the mud, but a clean sandpile
+in my own backyard not far away seemed to me a more fitting
+environment for one so daintily clad.
+
+We played undisturbed for a never-to-be-forgotten half hour and then
+they found her out. Reprimanding voices jangled and the whole world
+was out of tune.
+
+Thereafter a strict watch was kept on little Silvia's movements and I
+saw her only at rare intervals, when she was going into church or as
+she rode past our house. She always remembered me and on such
+meetings a faint, reminiscent smile lighted the somber little face and
+her eyes met mine as if in a mysterious promise.
+
+She grew up an outlawed, isolated child deprived of her birthright,
+but in spite of the handicaps of so barren a childhood, she achieved
+young womanhood unspoiled and in possession of her early democratic
+tendencies.
+
+When I was making a modest start in a legal way, her parents died and
+left her with that most unprofitable of legacies, an encumbered
+estate. Then I dared to renew our acquaintance begun on the sandpile.
+She went to live with a poor but practical relation and was initiated
+into the science of stretching an inadequate income to meet everyday
+needs. In time I wooed and won her.
+
+We set up housekeeping in a small, thriving mid-Western city where I
+secured a partnership in a legal firm. Silvia had all the requisites
+of mind and manner and Domestic Science necessary to a "hearth-and
+home-" maker.
+
+We lived in a house which was one of many made to the same measure
+with the inevitable street porch, big window, trimmed lawn in front
+and garden in the rear. We had attained the standard of prosperity
+maintained in our home town by keeping "hired help" and installing a
+telephone, so our social status was fixed.
+
+There was but one adjunct missing to our little Arcadia. While at a
+word or look children flocked to me like friendly puppies in response
+to a call, to Silvia they were still an unknown quantity.
+
+I had hoped that her understanding and love for children might be
+developed in the usual and natural way, but we had now been married
+ten years and this hope had not been realized.
+
+She had tried most assiduously to cultivate an acquaintance with
+members of child-world, but into that kingdom there is no open sesame.
+The sure keen intuition of a child recognizes on sight a kindred
+spirit and Silvia's forced advances met with but indifferent response.
+She wistfully proposed to me one day that we adopt a child. My doubts
+as to the advisability of such a course were confirmed by Huldah, our
+strong staff in household help. In our section of the country servants
+were generally quite conversant with the intimate and personal affairs
+of the home.
+
+"Don't you never do it, Mr. Wade," she counseled. "Ready-mades ain't
+for the likes of her."
+
+When, in acting on this advice, I vetoed Silvia's lukewarm
+proposition, I was convinced of Huldah's wisdom by seeing the look of
+relief that flashed into my wife's troubled countenance, and I knew
+that her suggestion had been but a perfunctory prompting of duty.
+
+Time alone could overcome the effects of her early environment!
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER II
+
+_Introducing Our Next-door Neighbors_
+
+
+One morning Silvia and I lingered over our coffee cups discussing our
+plans for the coming summer, which included visits from my sister Beth
+and my college chum, Rob Rossiter. We wished to avoid having their
+arrivals occur simultaneously, however, because Rob was a woman-hater,
+or thought he was. We decided to have Beth pay her visit first and
+later take Rob with us on our vacation trip to some place where the
+fishing facilities would be to our liking. However, summer vacation
+time like our plans was yet far, vague and dim.
+
+[Illustration: Uncle Issachar]
+
+While I was putting on my overcoat, Silvia had gone to the window and
+was looking pensively at the vacant house next to ours.
+
+"I fear," she said abruptly and irrelevantly, "that we are destined
+to receive no part of Uncle Issachar's fortune."
+
+Uncle Issachar was a wealthy but eccentric relative of my wife. He had
+made us no wedding gift beyond his best wishes, but he had then
+informed us that at the birth of each of our prospective sons he
+should place in the bank to Silvia's account the sum of five thousand
+dollars. We had never invited him to visit us or made any overtures in
+the way of communication with him, lest he should think we were
+cultivating his acquaintance from mercenary motives.
+
+While I was debating whether the lament in Silvia's tone was for the
+loss of the money or the lack of children, she again spoke; this time
+in a tone which had lost its languor.
+
+"There is a big moving van in front of the house next door. At last we
+will have some near neighbors."
+
+"Are they unloading furniture?" I asked inanely, crossing to the
+window.
+
+"No; course not," came cheerfully from Huldah, who had come in to
+remove the dishes. "Most likely they are unloading lions and tigers."
+
+As I have already intimated, Huldah was a privileged servant.
+
+"They are unloading children!" explained Silvia, in a tone implying
+that Huldah's sarcastic implication would be infinitely more
+preferable. "The van seems to be overflowing with them--a perfect
+crowd. Do you suppose the house is to be used as an orphan asylum?"
+
+"I think not," I assured her as I counted the flock. Five children
+would seem like a crowd to Silvia.
+
+"Boys!" exclaimed Huldah tragically, as she joined us for a survey.
+"I'll see that they don't keep the grass off our lawn."
+
+Late that afternoon I opened the outer door of the dining-room in
+response to the rap of strenuously applied knuckles.
+
+A lad of about eleven years with the sardonic face of a satyr and
+diabolically bright eyes peered into the room.
+
+"We're going to have soup for dinner," he announced, "and mother wants
+to borrow a soup plate for father to eat his out of."
+
+Silvia stared at him aghast. She seemed to feel something compelling
+in the boy's personnel, however, and she went to the china closet and
+brought forth a soup plate which she handed to him without comment.
+
+In silence we watched him run across the lawn, twirling the plate
+deftly above his head in juggler fashion.
+
+The next day when we sat down to dinner our new young neighbor again
+appeared on our threshold.
+
+"Halloa!" he called chummily. "We are going to have soup again and we
+want a soup plate for father."
+
+"Where is the one I loaned you yesterday?" demanded Silvia in a tone
+far below thirty-two degrees Fahrenheit, while her features assumed a
+frigidity that would have congealed father's favorite sustenance had
+it been in her vicinity.
+
+"Oh, we broke that!" he casually and cheerfully explained.
+
+With much reluctance Silvia bestowed another plate upon the young
+applicant.
+
+"Wait!" I said as he started to leave, "don't you want the soup
+tureen, too, or the ladle and some soup spoons?"
+
+"No, thank you," he answered politely. "None of the rest of us like
+soup, so we dish father's up in the kitchen. He doesn't like soup
+particularly, but he eats it because it goes down quick and lets him
+have more time for work."
+
+This time as he sped homeward, he didn't spin the plate in air, but
+tried out a new plan of balancing it on a stick.
+
+"I think," I suggested gently, when our young neighbor was lost to our
+sorrowful sight, "that it might be well to invest in another dozen or
+so of soup plates. I will see about getting them at wholesale rates.
+Our supply will soon give out if our new neighbors continue to
+cultivate the soup and borrowing habit."
+
+"I will buy some at the five cent store," replied Silvia. "I think I
+had better call upon them tomorrow and see what manner of people they
+can be."
+
+When I came home the next day it was quite evident that she had
+called.
+
+"Well," I inquired, "what do they keep--a soup house?"
+
+"They are literary people, the highest of high-brows. Their name is
+Polydore, and the head of the house----"
+
+"Mr. or Mrs.?" I interrupted.
+
+"The head of the house," pursued Silvia, ignoring my question, "is a
+collector."
+
+"So I inferred. Has he a large collection of soup plates?"
+
+"She collects antiquities and writes their history. He pursues
+science."
+
+"They were seemingly communicative. What did they look like?"
+
+"I didn't see them. After I rang I heard a woman's voice bidding some
+one not to answer the bell. She said she couldn't be bothered with
+interruptions, so I went on up the street to call on Mrs. Fleming, who
+told me all about them. She was also refused admittance when she
+called. On my way home I met that boy--that awful boy----"
+
+She paused, evidently overcome by the consideration of his awfulness.
+
+"He had been digging bait--"
+
+Again she paused as if words were inadequate for her climax.
+
+"Well," I encouraged.
+
+"He was carrying his bait--horrid, wriggling angleworms--in our soup
+plate!"
+
+"Then it is not broken yet!" I exclaimed joyfully. "Let us hope it is
+given an antiseptic bath before father's next indulgence in consommé.
+After dinner I will go over and try my luck at paying my respects to
+the soup savant."
+
+"They won't let you in."
+
+"In that case I shall follow their lead of setting aside all ceremony
+and formality and admit myself, as their heir apparent does here."
+
+After dinner and my twilight smoke, I went next door, first asking
+Silvia if there was anything we needed that I could borrow, just to
+show them there were no hard feelings.
+
+My third vigorous ring brought results. A slipshod servant appeared
+and reluctantly seated me in the hall. She read with seeming interest
+the card I handed to her and then, pushing aside some mangy looking
+portières, vanished from view.
+
+She evidently delivered my card, for I heard a woman's voice read my
+name, "Mr. Lucien Wade."
+
+After another short interval the slovenly servant returned and offered
+me my card.
+
+"She seen it," she assured me in answer to my look of surprise.
+
+She again put the portières between us and I was obliged to own myself
+baffled in my efforts to break in. I was showing myself out when my
+onward course was deflected by a troop of noisy children leaded by
+the soup plate skirmisher, who was the oldest and apparently the
+leader of the brood.
+
+"Oh, halloa!" he greeted me with the air of an old acquaintance,
+"didn't you see the folks?"
+
+On my informing him that I had seen no one but the servant, he
+exclaimed:
+
+"Oh, that chicken wouldn't know enough to ask you in! Just follow us.
+Mother wouldn't remember to come out."
+
+I was loth to force my presence on mother, but by this time my
+hospitable young friend had pulled the portières so strenuously that
+they parted from the pole, and I was presented willy nilly to the
+collector of antiquities, who had the angular sharp-cut face and form
+of a rocking horse. She was seated at a table strewn with books and
+papers, writing at a rate of speed that convinced me she was in the
+throes of an inspiration. I forebore to interrupt. My scruples,
+however, were not shared by her eldest son. He gave her elbow a jog of
+reminder which sent her pencil to the floor.
+
+"Mother!" he shouted in megaphone voice, "here's the man next
+door--the one we get our soup plates from."
+
+She looked up abstractedly.
+
+"Oh," she said in dismayed tone, "I thought you had gone. I am very
+much engaged in writing a paper on modern antiquities."
+
+I murmured some sort of an apology for my untimely interruption.
+
+"I am so absorbed in my great work," she explained, "that I am
+oblivious to all else. I have the rare and great gift of concentration
+in a marked degree."
+
+I was quite sure of this fact. She took another pencil from a supply
+box and resumed her literary occupation. As my presence seemed of so
+little moment, I lingered.
+
+"Mother," shouted one of the boys, snatching the pencil from her
+grasp, "I'm hungry. I didn't have any supper."
+
+"Yes, you did!" she asserted. "I saw Gladys give you a bowl of bread
+and milk."
+
+"Emerald took it away from me and drank it up."
+
+"Didn't neither!" denied a shaggy looking boy. "I spilled it."
+
+He accompanied this denial by a fierce punch in his accuser's ribs.
+
+"Here!" said the author of Modern Antiquities, taking a nickel from
+her pocket, "go get yourself some popcorn, Demetrius."
+
+"I ain't Demetrius! I'm Pythagoras."
+
+"It makes no difference. Go and get it and don't speak to me again
+tonight."
+
+The boy had already snatched the coin, and he now started for the
+exit, but his outgoing way was instantly blocked by a promiscuous pack
+of pugilistic Polydores, and an ardent and general onslaught
+followed.
+
+I endeavored to untangle the arms and legs of the attackers and the
+attacked in a desire to rescue the youngest, a child of two, but I
+soon beat a retreat, having no mind to become a punching bag for
+Polydores.
+
+The concentrator at the writing table, looking up vaguely, perceived
+the general joust.
+
+"How provoking!" she exclaimed indignantly. "I was in search of an
+antonym and now they've driven it out of my memory."
+
+I politely offered my sympathy for her loss.
+
+"Did you ever see such misbehaved children?" she asked casually and
+impersonally as she calmly surveyed the free-for-all fight.
+
+[Illustration: Dr. Felix Polydore]
+
+"Children always misbehave before company," I remarked propitiatingly.
+"Of course they know better."
+
+"Why no, they don't!" she declared, looking at me in surprise,
+"they----"
+
+At this instant the errant antonym evidently flashed upon her mental
+vision and her pencil hastened to record it and then flew on at
+lightning speed.
+
+I was about to try to make an escape when a momentary cessation of
+hostilities was caused by the entrance of a moth-eaten, abstracted-looking
+man. As the _two-year-old_ hailed him as "fadder", I gathered that he
+was the person responsible for the family now fighting at his feet.
+
+"What's the trouble?" he asked helplessly.
+
+"She gave Thag a nickel," explained the eldest boy, "and we want it."
+
+The man drew a sigh of relief. The solution of this family problem was
+instantly and satisfactorily met by an impartial distribution of
+nickels.
+
+With demoniac whoops of delight, the contestants fled from the room.
+
+I introduced myself to the man of the house, who seemed to realize
+that some sort of compulsory conventionalities must be observed. He
+looked hopelessly at his wife, and seeing that she was beyond response
+to an S O S call to things mundane, he frankly but impressively
+informed me that I must expect nothing of them socially as their lives
+were devoted to research and study. The children, however, he assured
+me, could run over frequently to see us.
+
+I instinctively felt that my call was considered ended, so I took my
+departure. I related the details of my neighborly visit to Silvia, but
+her sense of humor was not stirred. It was entirely dominated by her
+dread of the young Polydores.
+
+"How many children are there?" she asked faintly. "More than the five
+you said you counted that first day?"
+
+"They seemed not so many as much. That is, though I suppose in round
+numbers there are but five, yet each of those five is equal to at
+least three ordinary children."
+
+"Are they all boys? Huldah says the youngest wears dresses."
+
+"Nevertheless he is a boy. They are all unmistakably boys. I think
+they must have been born with boots on and," conscious of the imprints
+of my shins, "hobnail boots at that. Even the youngest, a two-year
+old, seems to have been graduated from Home Rule."
+
+"I can't bear to think of their going to bed hungry," she said
+wistfully. "Think of that unnatural mother expecting them to satisfy
+their hunger by popcorn."
+
+"They didn't though," I assured her. "I saw them stop a street vender
+below here and invest their nickels in hot dogs."
+
+"Hot dogs!" repeated Silvia in horror.
+
+"Wienerwursts," I hastened to interpret.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER III
+
+_In Which We Are Pestered by Polydores_
+
+
+Our life now became one long round of Polydores. They were with us
+burr-tight, and attached themselves to me with dog-like devotion,
+remaining utterly impervious to Silvia's aloofness and repulses. At
+last, however, she succumbed to their presence as one of the things
+inevitable.
+
+"The Polydores are here to stay," she acknowledged in a
+calmness-of-despair voice.
+
+"They don't seem to be homebodies," I allowed.
+
+The children were not literary like the other productions of their
+profound parents, but were a band of robust, active youngsters
+unburdened with brains, excepting Ptolemy of soup plate fame. Not that
+he betrayed any tendencies toward a learned line, but he was possessed
+of an occult, uncanny, wizard-like wisdom that was disconcerting. His
+contemplative eyes seemed to search my soul and read my inmost
+thoughts.
+
+Pythagoras, Emerald, and Demetrius, aged respectively nine, eight, and
+seven, were very much alike in looks and size, being so many pinched
+caricatures of their mother. To Silvia they were bewildering
+whirlwinds, but Huldah, who seemed to have difficulty in telling them
+apart, always classified them as "Them three", and Silvia and I fell
+into the habit of referring to them in the same way. Huldah could not
+master the Polydore given names either by memory or pronunciation.
+Ptolemy, whose name was shortened to "Tolly" by Diogenes, she called
+"Polly." When she was on speaking terms with "Them three" she
+nicknamed them "Thaggy, Emmy, and Meetie."
+
+Diogenes, the two-year old, was a Tartar when emulating his brothers.
+Alone, he was sometimes normal and a shade more like ordinary
+children.
+
+When they first began swarming in upon us, Silvia drew many lines
+which, however, the Polydores promptly effaced.
+
+"They shall not eat here, anyway," she emphatically declared.
+
+This was her last stand and she went down ingloriously.
+
+One day while we were seated at the table enjoying some of Huldah's
+most palatable dishes, Ptolemy came in. There ensued on our part a
+silence which the lad made no effort to break. Silvia and I each
+slipped him a side glance. He stood statuesque, watching us with the
+mute wistfulness of a hungry animal. There were unwonted small red
+specks high upon his cheekbones, symptoms, Silvia thought, of
+starvation.
+
+She was moved to ask, though reluctantly and perfunctorily:
+
+"Haven't you been to dinner, Ptolemy?"
+
+"Yes," he admitted quickly, "but I could eat another."
+
+Assuming that the forced inquiry was an invitation, before protest
+could be entered he supplied himself with a plate and helped
+himself to food. His need and relish of the meal weakened Silvia's
+fortifications.
+
+This opening, of course, was the wedge that let in other Polydores,
+and thereafter we seldom sat down to a meal without the presence of
+one or more members of the illustrious and famished family, who made
+themselves as entirely at home as would a troop of foraging soldiers.
+Silvia gazed upon their devouring of food with the same surprised,
+shocked, and yet interested manner in which one watches the feeding of
+animals.
+
+"I suppose he ought not to eat so many pickles," she remarked one day,
+as Emerald consumed his ninth Dill.
+
+"You can't kill a Polydore," I assured her.
+
+I never opened a door but more or less Polydores fell in. They were at
+the left of us and at the right of us, with Diogenes always under
+foot. We had no privacy. I found myself waking suddenly in the night
+with the uncomfortable feeling that Ptolemy lurked in a dark corner or
+two of my bedroom.
+
+Even Silvia's boudoir was not free from their invasion. But one door
+in our house remained closed to them. They found no open sesame to
+Huldah's apartment.
+
+"I wish she would let me in on her system," I said. "I wonder how she
+manages to keep them on the outside?"
+
+"I can tell you," confided Silvia. "Emerald and Demetrius went in one
+day and she dropped Demetrius out the window and kicked Emerald out
+the door. You know, Lucien, you are too softhearted to resort to such
+measures."
+
+"I was once," I confessed, "but I think under Polydore régime I am
+getting stoical enough to follow in Huldah's footsteps and go her one
+better."
+
+Our conversation was interrupted by the entrance of Diogenes.
+
+Silvia screamed.
+
+Turning to see what the latest Polydore perpetration might be, I saw
+that Diogenes was frothing at the mouth.
+
+"Oh, he's having a fit!" exclaimed Silvia frantically. "Call Huldah!
+Put him in a hot bath. Quick, Lucien, turn on the hot water."
+
+"Not I," I refused grimly. "Let him have a fit and fall in it."
+
+"He ain't got no fit," was the cheerful assurance of Pythagoras, as he
+sauntered in.
+
+"Your mother would have one," I told him, "if she could hear your
+English."
+
+"What is the matter with him?" asked Silvia. "Does he often foam in
+this way?"
+
+"He's been eating your tooth powder," explained Pythagoras. "He likes
+it 'cause it tastes like peppermint, and then he drank some water
+before he swallowed the powder and it all fizzed up and run out his
+mouth."
+
+"I wondered," said Silvia ruefully, "what made my tooth powder
+disappear so rapidly. What shall I do!"
+
+"Resort to strategy!" I advised. "Lock up your powder hereafter and
+fill an empty bottle with powdered alum or something worse and leave
+it around handy."
+
+"Lucien!" exclaimed my wife, who could not seem to recover from this
+latest annoyance, "I don't see how you can be so fond of children. I
+did hope--for your sake and--on account of Uncle Issachar's offer that
+I'd like to have one--but I'd rather go to the poorhouse! I'd almost
+lose your affection rather than have a child."
+
+"But, Silvia!" I remonstrated in dismay, "you shouldn't judge all by
+these. They're not fair samples. They're not children--not home-grown
+children."
+
+"I should say not!" agreed Huldah, who had come into the room. "They
+are imps--imps of the devil."
+
+I believe she was right. They had a generally demoralizing effect on
+our household. I was growing irritable, Silvia careworn. Even Huldah
+showed their influence by acquiring the very latest in slang from
+them. Once in a while to my amusement I heard Silvia unconsciously
+adopting the Polydore argot.
+
+As the result of their better nourishment at our table, the imps of
+the devil daily grew more obstreperous and life became so burdensome
+to Silvia that I proposed moving away to a childless neighborhood.
+
+"They'd find us out," said Silvia wearily, "wherever we went. Distance
+would be no obstacle to them."
+
+"Then we might move out of town, as a last resort," I suggested. "Rob
+says he thinks there is a good legal field in----"
+
+"No, Lucien," vetoed Silvia. "You've a fine practice here, and then
+there's that attorneyship for the Bartwell Manufacturing Company."
+
+My hope of securing this appointment meant a good deal to us. We were
+now living up to every cent of my income and though we had the
+necessities, it was the luxuries of life I craved--for Silvia's sake.
+She was a lover of music and we had no piano. She yearned to ride and
+she had no horse. We both had longings for a touring-car and we wanted
+to travel.
+
+"I've thought of a scheme for a little respite from the sight and
+sound of the Polydores," I remarked one day. "We'll enter them in the
+public school. There are four more weeks yet before the long summer
+vacation."
+
+"That would be too good to be true," declared Silvia. "Five or six
+hours each day, and then, too, their deportment will be so dreadful
+that they will have to stay after school hours."
+
+I thought more likely their deportment would lead to suspension, but
+forbore to wet-blanket Silvia's hopes.
+
+I made my second call upon the male head of the House of Polydore to
+recommend and urge that its young scions be sent to the public school.
+I had misgivings as to the outcome of my proposition, as the Polydore
+parents believed themselves to be the only fount of learning in the
+town. To my surprise and intense gratification, my suggestion met with
+no objections whatever. Felix Polydore referred me to his wife and
+said he would abide by her decision. I found her, of course, buried in
+books, but remembering Ptolemy's mode of gaining attention, I
+peremptorily closed the volume she was studying.
+
+My audacity attained its object and I proferred my request, laying
+great stress on the quietude she would gain thereby. She replied that
+attendance at school would doubtless do them no harm, although she
+expressed her belief that the most thorough educations were those
+obtained outside of schools.
+
+Silvia was wafted into the eighth heaven of bliss and then some, as
+the result of my diplomatic mission. Of course the task of preparing
+pupils out of the pestiferous Polydores devolved upon her, but she was
+actively aided by the eager and willing Huldah and between them they
+pushed the project that promised such an elysium with all speed. The
+prospective pupils themselves were not wildly enthusiastic over this
+curtailment of their liberty, but Huldah won the day by proposing that
+they carry their luncheon with them, promising an abundant supply of
+sugared doughnuts and small pies.
+
+Pythagoras foresaw recreation ahead in the opportunity to "lick all
+the kids," and I assumed that Ptolemy had deep laid schemes for the
+outmaneuvering of teachers, but as his left hand never made confidant
+of his right, I could not expect to fathom the workings of his mind.
+
+Early on a Monday morning, therefore, our household arose to lick our
+Polydore protégés into a shape presentable for admission to school.
+It took two hours to pull up stockings and make them stay pulled,
+tie shoestrings, comb out tangles, adjust collars and neckties, to
+say nothing of vigorous scrubbings to five grimy faces and ten
+dirt-stained hands.
+
+At last with an air of achievement Silvia corralled her round-up and
+unloaded the four eldest upon the public school and then proceeded to
+install the protesting Diogenes in a nursery kindergarten. Huldah
+stood in the doorway as they marched off and sped the parting guests
+with a muttered "Good riddance to bad rubbish."
+
+Silvia returned radiant, but her rejoicing was shortlived. She had
+scarcely taken off her hat and gloves when the four oldest came
+trooping and whooping into the house.
+
+"What's the matter?" gasped Silvia.
+
+"Got to be vaccinated," explained Ptolemy with an appreciative
+grin. Of all the Polydores he was the one who had least objected
+to scholastic pursuits, but he seemed quite jubilant at our
+discomfiture.
+
+We were somewhat reluctant to undertake the responsibility of their
+inoculation, especially after Ptolemy told us that his mother didn't
+believe in vaccination.
+
+"I'll take 'em down and get 'em vaccinated right," declared Huldah.
+"Their ma won't never notice the scars, and if one of you young uns
+blabs about it," she added, turning upon them ferociously, "I'll cut
+your tongue out."
+
+"Suppose there should be some ill result from it," said Silvia
+apprehensively.
+
+"Don't you worry!" exclaimed Huldah. "Most likely it won't amount to
+anything. It'll take some new kind of scabs to work in these brats.
+They're too tough to take anything. Come on now with me," she
+commanded, "and after it's done, I'll get you each an ice cream
+sody."
+
+Through Huldah's efficiency the vaccination was quickly accomplished
+and the children of our neighbor were reluctantly accepted by the
+school authorities.
+
+The Polydores were not parted by reason of dissimilarity of age or
+learning, as they were put into the ungraded room. To keep them there
+enrolled taxed to the utmost our ingenuity in the way of framing
+excuses for their repeated cases of tardiness and suspension.
+
+Silvia felt a little remorseful when she listened to the tale of woe
+recited to her by their teacher at a card party one Saturday
+afternoon.
+
+"She said," my wife repeated, "that yesterday Pythagoras brought two
+mice to school in his marble-bag and let them loose. She doesn't
+believe in corporal punishment, but she determined to experiment with
+its effect on Pythagoras, so she kept him and Emerald, who was
+slightly implicated, after school and sent the latter out to get a
+whip. When he came back he said: 'I couldn't find any stick, but
+here's some rocks you can throw at him,' and handed her a hat full of
+stones. This made her too hysterical to try her experiment, so she
+took away his recess for a week."
+
+"We ought to make her a present," I observed.
+
+"She said," continued Silvia, "that they had given her nervous
+prostration, but she had no time to prostrate, and if she didn't
+succeed in getting them graded by the coming fall term, she should
+accept an offer of marriage she had received from a cross-eyed man,
+and you know how unlucky that would be, Lucien!"
+
+"We may be driven to worse things than that by fall," I replied
+ruefully.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER IV
+
+_In Which We Take Boarders_
+
+
+Four weeks of unalloyed bliss and then the summer vacation times
+arrived, bringing joy to the heart of the Polydores and the teacher of
+the ungraded room, but deep gloom to the hearthside of the Wades.
+
+One misfortune always brings another. A rival applicant received
+the coveted attorneyship and we bade a sad farewell to piano,
+saddle-horse, automobile and journey, the furnishings to our Little
+House of Dreams.
+
+"I did want you to have a car, Lucien," sighed Silvia, regretfully,
+"and you worked so hard this last year, you need a trip. Won't you go
+somewhere with Rob--without me?"
+
+I assured her it would be no vacation without her.
+
+"Do you know, Lucien," she proposed diffidently, "I think it would be
+an excellent plan to invite Uncle Issachar to visit us. He knows no
+more about children than I do--than I did, I mean, and if he should
+see the Polydores he'd give us five thousand each for the children we
+didn't have."
+
+I wouldn't consent to this plan. I had met Uncle Issachar once. He was
+a crusty old bachelor with a morbid suspicion that everyone was
+working him for his money. I don't wonder he thought so. He had no
+other attractions.
+
+Perceiving the strength of my opposition Silvia sweetly and
+sagaciously refrained from further pressure.
+
+"We should not repine," she said. "We have health and happiness and
+love. What are pianos and cars and trips compared to such assets?"
+
+What, indeed! I admitted that things might be worse.
+
+Alas! All too soon was my statement substantiated. That night after we
+had gone to bed, I heard a taxicab sputtering away at the house next
+door.
+
+"The Polydores must have unexpected guests," I remarked.
+
+"I trust they brought no children with them," murmured Silvia
+drowsily.
+
+The next morning while we were at breakfast, the odor of June roses
+wafting in through the open window, the delicious flavor of red-ripe
+strawberries tickling our palate, and the anticipation of rice
+griddle-cakes exhilarating us, the millennium came.
+
+For the five young Polydores bore down upon us _en masse_.
+
+"Father and mother have gone away," proclaimed Ptolemy, who was always
+spokesman for the quintette.
+
+This intelligence was of no particular interest to us--not then, at
+least. We rarely saw father and mother Polydore, and they were
+apparently of no need to their offspring.
+
+Ptolemy's next announcement, however, was startling and effective in
+its dramatic intensity.
+
+"We've come over to stay with you while they are away."
+
+I laughed; jocosely, I thought.
+
+Silvia paid no heed to my forced hilarity, but ejaculated gaspingly:
+
+"Why, what do you mean!"
+
+"They have gone away somewhere," enlightened our oracle. "They went to
+the train last night in a taxi. They have gone somewhere to find out
+something about some kind of aborigines."
+
+"Which reminds me," I remarked reminiscently, "of the man who traveled
+far and vainly in search of a certain plant which, on his return, he
+found growing beside his own doorstep."
+
+Silvia paid no heed to my misplaced pleasantry. She was right--as
+usual. It was no time for levity.
+
+"I don't see," spoke my unappreciative wife, addressing Ptolemy, "why
+their absence should make any difference in your remaining at home.
+Gladys can cook your meals and put Diogenes to bed as usual."
+
+"Gladys has gone," piped Demetrius. "She left yesterday afternoon. She
+was only staying till she could get her pay."
+
+"Father forgot to get another girl in her place," informed Ptolemy,
+"and he forgot to tell mother he had forgotten until just before they
+went to the train. She said it didn't matter--that we could just as
+well come over here and stay with you."
+
+"She said," added Pythagoras, "that you were so crazy over children,
+that probably you'd be glad to have us stay with you all the time."
+
+My last strawberry remained poised in mid-air. It was quite apparent
+to me now that there was nothing funny about this situation.
+
+"Milk, milk!" whimpered Diogenes, pulling at Silvia's dress and making
+frantic efforts to reach the cream pitcher.
+
+Huldah had come in with the griddle-cakes during this avalanche of
+news.
+
+"Here, all you kids!" commanded our field marshal, as she picked up
+Diogenes, "beat it to the kitchen, and I'll give you some breakfast.
+Hustle up!"
+
+The Polydores, whose eyes were bulging with expectancy and
+semi-starvation, tumbled over each other in their eagerness to "hustle
+up and beat it to the kitchen." Our oiler of troubled waters followed,
+and there was assurance of a brief lull.
+
+"What shall we do!" I exclaimed helplessly when the door had closed on
+the last Polydore. I felt too limp and impotent to cope with the
+situation. Not so Silvia.
+
+"Do!" she echoed with an intensity of tone and feeling I had never
+known her to display. "Do! We'll do something, I am sure! I will not
+for a moment submit to such an imposition. Who ever heard of such
+colossal nerve! That father and mother should be brought back and
+prosecuted. I shall report them to the Society for the Prevention of
+Cruelty to Children. But we won't wait for such procedure. We'll
+express each and every Polydore to them at once."
+
+"I should certainly do that P.D.Q. and C.O.D.," I acquiesced, "if the
+Polydore parents could be located, but you know the abodes of
+aborigines are many and scattered."
+
+My remarks seemed to fall as flat as the flapjacks I was siruping.
+
+Silvia arose, determination in every lineament and muscle, and crossed
+the room. She opened the door leading into the kitchen.
+
+"Ptolemy," she demanded, "where have your father and mother gone?"
+
+He came forward and replied in a voice somewhat smothered by cakes and
+sirup.
+
+"I don't know. They didn't say."
+
+"We can find out from the ticket-agent," I optimistically assured
+her.
+
+"They never bother to buy tickets. Pay on the train," Ptolemy
+explained.
+
+My legal habit of counter-argument asserted itself.
+
+"We can easily ascertain to what point their baggage was checked," I
+remarked, again essaying to maintain a rôle of good cheer.
+
+But the pessimistic Ptolemy was right there with another of his
+gloom-casting retaliations.
+
+"They only took suit-cases and they always keep them in the car.
+Here's a check father said to give you to pay for our board. He said
+you could write in any amount you wanted to."
+
+"He got a lot of dough yesterday," informed Pythagoras, "and he put
+half of it in the bank here."
+
+Ptolemy handed over a check which was blank except for Felix
+Polydore's signature.
+
+"I don't see," I weakly exclaimed when my wife had closed the kitchen
+door, "why she put them off on _us_. Why didn't she trade her brats
+off for antiques?"
+
+Silvia eyed the check wistfully. I could read the unspoken thought
+that here, perhaps, was the opportunity for our much-desired trip.
+
+"No, Silvia," I answered quickly, "not for any number of blank checks
+or vacation trips shall you have the care and annoyance of those wild
+Comanches."
+
+"I know what I'll do!" she exclaimed suddenly. "I'll go right down to
+the intelligence office and get anything in the shape of a maid and
+put her in charge of the Polydore caravansary with double wages and
+every night out and any other privileges she requests."
+
+This seemed a sane and sensible arrangement, and I wended my way to
+my office feeling that we were out of the woods.
+
+When I returned home at noon, I found that we had only exchanged the
+woods for water--and deep water at that.
+
+I beheld a strange sight. Silvia sat by our bedroom window twittering
+soft, cooing nonsensical nothings to Diogenes, who was clasped in her
+arms, his flushed little face pressed close to her shoulder.
+
+"He's been quite ill, Lucien. I was frightened and called the doctor.
+He said it was only the slight fever that children are subject to. He
+thought with good care that he'd be all right in a few days."
+
+"Did you succeed in getting a cook to go to the Polydores?" I asked
+anxiously. "You'll need a nurse to go there, too, to take care of
+Diogenes."
+
+She looked at me reproachfully and rebukingly.
+
+"Why, Lucien! You don't suppose I could send this sick baby back to
+that uninviting house with only hired help in charge! Besides, I don't
+believe he'd stay with a stranger. He seems to have taken a fancy to
+me."
+
+Diogenes confirmed this belief by a languid lifting of his eyelids, as
+he feelingly patted her cheek with his baby fingers.
+
+I forebore to suggest that the fancy seemed to be mutual. Diogenes,
+sick, was no longer an "imp of the devil", but a normal, appealing
+little child. It occurred to me that possibly the care of a sick
+Polydore might develop Silvia's tiny germ of child-ken.
+
+"Keep him here of course," I agreed, "but--the other children must
+return home."
+
+"Diogenes would miss them," she said quickly, "and the doctor says his
+whims must be humored while he is sick. He is almost asleep now. I
+think he will let me put him down in his own little bed. Ptolemy
+brought it over here. Pull back the covers for me, Lucien. There!"
+
+Diogenes half opened his eyes, as she laid him in the bed and smiled
+wanly.
+
+"Mudder!" he cooed.
+
+Silvia flushed and looked as if she dreaded some expression of mirth
+from me. Relieved by my silence and a suggestion of moisture in the
+region of my eyes--the day was quite warm--she confessed:
+
+"He has called me that all the morning."
+
+"It would be a wise Polydore that knows its own parents," I observed.
+
+The slight illness of Diogenes lasted three or four days. I still
+shudder to recall the memory of that hideous period. Silvia's time and
+attention were devoted to the sick child. Huldah was putting in all
+her leisure moments at the dentist's, where she was acquiring her
+third set of teeth, and joy rode unconfined and unrestrained with our
+"boarders."
+
+Polydore proclivities made the Reign of Terror formerly known as the
+French Revolution seem like an ice cream festival. I don't regard
+myself as a particularly nervous man, but there's a limit! Their war
+whoops and screeches got on my nerves and temper to the extent of
+sending me into their midst one evening brandishing a whip and
+commanding immediate silence. I got it. Not through fear of
+chastisement, for fear was an emotion unknown to a Polydore, but from
+astonishment at so unexpected a procedure from so unexpected a source.
+Heretofore I had either ignored them or frolicked with them. Before
+they had recovered from their shock, Silvia appeared on the scene.
+
+"Diogenes," she informed them, "was not used to such unwonted quiet,
+and was fretting at the unaccustomed stillness. Would the boys please
+play Indian or some of their games again?"
+
+The boys would. I backed from the room, the whip behind me, carefully
+kept without Silvia's angle of vision. Before Ptolemy resumed his rôle
+of chief, he bestowed a knowing and maddening wink upon me.
+
+I wished that we had remained neighbor-less. I wished that the
+aborigines would scalp Felix Polydore and the writer of Modern
+Antiquities. Then we could land their brats on the Probate Court. I
+wished that this were the reign of Herod. I vowed I would backslide
+from the Presbyterian faith since it no longer included in its
+articles of belief the eternal damnation of infants. How long, O
+Catiline, would--
+
+A paralyzing suspicion flashed into the maelstrom of my vituperative
+maledictions. I rushed wildly upstairs to our combination bedroom,
+sickroom, and nursery, where Silvia sat like a guardian angel beside
+the Polydore patient.
+
+"Silvia," I shouted excitedly, "do you suppose those diabolical
+Polydore parents purposely played this trick on us? Was it a
+premeditated Polydore plan to abandon their young? And can you blame
+them for playing us for easy marks? Could any parents, Polydore, or
+otherwise, ever come back to such fiends as these?"
+
+"Hush!" she cautioned, without so much as a glance in my direction.
+"You'll wake Diogenes!"
+
+Wake Diogenes! Ye Gods! And she had also implored the brothers of
+Diogenes to continue their anvil chorus! This took the last stitch of
+starch from my manly bosom. Spiritless and spineless I bore all
+things, believed all things--but hoped for nothing.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER V
+
+_In Which We Take a Vacation_
+
+
+Diogenes finally convalesced to his former state of ruggedness and
+obstreperousness. He continued, however, to cling to Silvia and to
+call her "mudder." To my amusement the other children followed suit
+and she was now "muddered" by all the Polydores.
+
+"I am glad," I remarked, "that they scorn to include me in their
+adoption. I wouldn't fancy being 'faddered' by the Polydores."
+
+"You won't be," Ptolemy, appearing seemingly from nowhere, assured me.
+"We've named you stepdaddy."
+
+"If it be possible, Silvia," I implored, "let this cup pass from me."
+
+"I am going down to the intelligence office today," replied Silvia
+soothingly. "Diogenes is well enough to go home now, and I can run
+over there every evening and see that he is properly put to bed."
+
+I went down town feeling like a mule relieved of his pack.
+
+When I came home that afternoon, I found Silvia sitting on the shaded
+porch serenely sewing. A Sabbath-like stillness pervaded. Not a
+Polydore in sight or sound.
+
+"Oh!" I cried buoyantly. "The Polydores have been returned to their
+home station!"
+
+"No," she replied calmly. "They told me at the intelligence office
+that it would be absolutely impossible to persuade, bribe, or hire a
+servant to assume the charge of the Polydore place."
+
+"I suppose," I said glumly, "that Gladys gave the job a double cross.
+But will you please account for the phenomenon of the utter absence of
+Polydores at the present period? Has Huldah at last carried out her
+oft-repeated threat of exterminating the Polydore race?"
+
+"Pythagoras," explained Silvia dejectedly, "has gone to the doctor's.
+He broke his wrist this morning. Diogenes is lost and Emerald has gone
+to look for him--"
+
+"Oh, why hunt him up?" I remonstrated. "Maybe Emerald, too, will get
+lost or strayed or stolen."
+
+"Huldah," continued Silvia, "has locked Demetrius in the cellar. I am
+unable to report on Ptolemy. Huldah is half sick, but she won't go to
+bed. She said no beds in Bedlamite for her. But I have a wonderful
+plan to suggest. There is relief in sight if you will consent."
+
+"I will consent to any committable crime on the calendar," I assured
+her, "that will lead to the parting of the Polydore path from ours.
+Divulge."
+
+"We both need a change and rest. Today I heard of a most alluring,
+inexpensive, unfrequented resort called Hope Haven. Unfashionable,
+fine fishing, beautiful scenery, twelve miles from a railroad, and a
+stage stops there but once a day."
+
+"If there is such a place, we'll go there at once, though why such an
+enticing spot should be unfrequented is beyond me. Do we leave the
+Polydores to their fate, or as a town charge?"
+
+"We'll leave them to Huldah. She offered to keep them here if we'd
+take the outing. She said she'd either give them free rein or beat
+their brains out."
+
+"Then I see where the Polydores land in a juvenile jail, or else I
+return to defend Huldah for a charge of murder. We'll take our
+departure by night--tomorrow night--and like the Arabs, or the
+Polydore parents, silently steal away."
+
+"Lucien," said Silvia constrainedly, when we had arranged the details
+of our plan, "if you wouldn't object too much, I should like to take
+Diogenes with us. He hasn't missed his mother, but I really believe
+he'd be homesick without me."
+
+"Take him, of course," I said. "He's manageable away from the others.
+I plainly see you've formed the Polydore habit, and maybe a partial
+parting from the Polydores would be wiser, but we'll take Diogenes as
+an antidote against too perfect a time. But I forgot to tell you that
+I had a letter from Rob today. He plans to come and make his visit
+now and will arrive next Monday. I'll write him to join us at Hope
+Haven. You must write down again for me the route we take to get
+there."
+
+Silvia laughed hopelessly.
+
+"It never rains but it pours. I had a letter from Beth this afternoon,
+and she says she would like to come to us now. She arrives Monday.
+Here is her letter."
+
+"Great minds! It is quite a coincidence," I declared.
+
+"I thought it would be so nice to have Beth go with us to this
+resort."
+
+"It can't be done," I said. "That is, they can't both go. I am not
+going to let even Rob Rossiter slight my sister."
+
+"Still it would be a triumph to have her change his mind--or his
+heart. You know a woman-hater always succumbs to the right girl."
+
+"In books, yes!"
+
+I had been scanning Beth's letter and I laughed derisively as I read
+aloud: "'I am so curious to see those next-door children. When you
+first wrote of the "Polydores" I never once thought of them as
+children.'"
+
+"She thought exactly right," I told Silvia, and then continued
+reading: "'I supposed them to be something like tadpoles or polliwogs.
+I really think I shall enjoy them.'"
+
+"It would serve her right," I said, "to let her come and stay with
+them here in our absence. She'd get the cure for enjoyment all right.
+Rob wrote of them in the same strain and says he, too, is curious to
+meet the missing links."
+
+"Does she know," asked Silvia, "how Rob regards women?"
+
+"No; I've always made some excuse to her for not having them meet. I
+didn't want to hear her make disparaging remarks about him, and she
+is such a flirt, she'd try to draw him out and he would shut up like a
+clam."
+
+"Well, I think," decided Silvia, "that the best way out of it is to
+write Rob to postpone his visit and I will write Beth to come direct
+to Hope Haven."
+
+"Yes," I agreed, "that will be fine. She shall have charge of dear
+little Di and study the evolutions of the Polydores later."
+
+I approved this plan. So we wrote our letters and stealthily, but
+joyously, prepared for our getaway, leaving the house like thieves in
+the night and bearing the sleeping cherub, Diogenes.
+
+Silvia sighed in relief when we were aboard the train.
+
+"I feel quite chesty," she declared, "at being smart enough to outwit
+Ptolemy, the wizard."
+
+"I have the feeling," I observed forebodingly, "that they may be on
+the train or underneath it."
+
+The next morning we reached Windy Creek, the station nearest our
+destination, and continued our journey by stage.
+
+"People will think you have consoled yourself very speedily for the
+death of your first husband," I observed, as we were en route.
+
+"Why, what do you mean, Lucien?"
+
+"You know Diogenes addresses me as stepdaddy. It is the only word he
+speaks plainly."
+
+"Oh!" she exclaimed in perturbation, "I never thought of that! Well,
+we can explain to everyone, or I'll teach them to leave off the
+'step.'"
+
+"Not on your life!" I demurred.
+
+"He had better call you Lucien, then. Emerald calls his father
+'Felix.'"
+
+She at once began her tutelage of the bewildered Diogenes. After
+several stabs at pronouncing Lucien he managed to evolve "Ocean" to
+which he sometimes affixed "step" so that people to whom he was not
+explained doubtless thought me the latest thing in dances.
+
+Hope Haven was like most resorts--a place safe to shun. There was a
+low, flat stretch of woods in which a clearing had been made for a
+barn-like structure called a hotel, with rooms rough and not always
+ready. The beautiful recreation grounds mentioned in the advertising
+matter consisted of a plowed field worked over into a space designated
+as a tennis court and a grass-grown croquet ground.
+
+"Anyway," claimed Silvia hopefully, "it's a treat to see woods, water,
+and sky unconfined."
+
+She devoted the remainder of the morning to unpacking and after
+luncheon set off to explore the woods, borrowing from the landlady a
+little cart for Diogenes to ride in. My plan to go in swimming was
+delayed by my garrulous landlord.
+
+I was just starting for the lake when I heard sounds from the woods
+that alarmed the landlord but which I instantly recognized as the
+Polydore yell. A moment later I saw Silvia emerging at full speed into
+the open, drawing the cart in which Diogenes was doubled up like a
+jackknife. I hastened to meet them.
+
+"Oh, Lucien," exclaimed my wife tearfully, "we are bitten to bits!
+Just look at poor little Di!"
+
+I lifted the howling child from the cart. His face, neck, and hands
+were stringy and purplish--a cross between an eggplant and a round
+steak.
+
+"Mosquitoes!" explained Silvia. "They came in flocks and they
+advertised particularly 'no mosquitoes.'"
+
+A dour-faced guest paused in passing.
+
+"There aren't--many," she declared. "Very few, in fact, compared to
+the number of black flies, sand fleas, and jiggers. However, you'll
+find more discomfort from the poison ivy, I imagine."
+
+"Lucien," began Silvia in lament.
+
+"Never mind!" I hastened to console, "you are out of the woods now,
+and you won't have to go in again. I presume they have an antidote up
+at the house. I'll give you and Diogenes first aid and then we will
+all go down to the lake shore. You can both sit on the dock and watch
+me swim."
+
+They both brightened up, and when we reached the hotel the landlady
+provided a soothing lotion for the bites and stings.
+
+By the time we had started for the lake, the afflicted two were in
+holiday spirit again.
+
+I sought cover in a small shed called a bath-house and got into my
+swimming outfit and shot out from the dipping end of the diving-board
+into the water. When I came to the surface, Silvia, sitting beside
+Diogenes on the dock, shrieked wildly.
+
+"Oh, Lucien, there are snakes all around you! Come out, quick!"
+
+"They are only water snakes," I assured her.
+
+"I don't care what kind they are. They are snakes just the same."
+
+Diogenes instantly began to bellow for me to hand him a snake to play
+with.
+
+"He recognizes his own," I told Silvia, who, however, saw nothing
+amusing in my implication.
+
+When I came out of the water, the temperature had climbed several
+degrees and we were glad to seek the hotel parlor, which was cool and
+damp.
+
+After dinner Silvia put Diogenes to bed and we sat out on the veranda.
+I was enjoying my evening smoke and the feel of the night wind in my
+face. Silvia had just finished telling me that merely to be away from
+the Polydores was Paradise enough for her, and that she didn't care
+very much about the woods, anyway--the lake was sufficient, when her
+optimism was rudely jolted by the shrill, shudder-sending song of the
+festive mosquito.
+
+She fled into the parlor. The landlady, who seemed to have a panacea
+for all ills, suggested that she might tack mosquito netting around
+the little balcony extending from our bedroom, and then she could sit
+there in comfort when the mosquitoes bothered.
+
+"That's what the last lady that had that room did," she said, "but
+when she left, she took the netting with her. We keep a supply in our
+little store."
+
+Silvia immediately sought the hotel store and bought a quantity of the
+netting and a goodly stock of the mosquito lotion.
+
+That night as I was drifting into slumber, Silvia remarked: "Only one
+of the things I heard and read about this place is true."
+
+"Which one?" I asked between winks.
+
+"That it was unfrequented. I have seen only three guests besides us so
+far. How do they make it pay?"
+
+"The hotel is evidently only a side issue," I replied.
+
+"To what?"
+
+"To the store. Think of the quantities of lotion and netting they must
+sell in the season, which, you must know, is in the fall. The hunting,
+the landlord tells me, is very good, and his hotel is quite popular
+in October and November."
+
+"I think we had better stay, Lucien. Mosquitoes don't poison you."
+
+"Even if they did," I declared, "as a choice between them and the
+Polydores I would say, 'Oh, Mosquito, where is thy sting?'"
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER VI
+
+_A Flirt and a Woman-Hater_
+
+
+The next morning I arose early and screened in the little birdhouse
+balcony. There was a large piece of netting left and Silvia converted
+it into a robe and headgear for the swaddling of Diogenes.
+
+"He looks like the Bride of Lammermoor," I declared, as he went forth
+in this regalia.
+
+"Well, that's preferable to looking like a pest-house patient, as he
+did yesterday."
+
+His first-aid costume didn't find favor with the landlady, as it would
+seem indicative to the newly arrived of the features of the place.
+However, before another stage-coming was due, Di had rent his garment
+sufficiently to make it useless is a "skeeter skirt."
+
+During the morning I enjoyed my solitary swim with the snakes.
+Diogenes played football with the croquet balls and bruised one of his
+toes, besides hitting the landlady's child in the eye. Silvia went for
+a walk which had been pictured in the advertisements. She speedily
+returned, her ardor dampened.
+
+"There are so many sticks and stones and rocks," she said in a
+discouraged tone, "that there was no pleasure in walking. I nearly
+sprained my ankle."
+
+"Well, the real sport we haven't tried yet," I said. "We'll get a boat
+and take Diogenes and go for a row on the lake."
+
+This proposition met with instant favor. I put Silvia and Diogenes in
+the stern of the boat and pulled for the opposite shore. My endeavors
+to gain this point were balked by Silvia's remarkable conceptions of
+the art of steering craft. She was so serenely satisfied, however,
+with the way she performed her duties and the aid she thought she was
+giving me, that I forbore to criticize.
+
+In order to achieve a few strokes in the right direction, I asked her
+to get me a cigar from an inside pocket of my coat, which was on the
+seat in front of her. Then came the blight to our bliss. She looked in
+the wrong pocket and instead of producing a cigar, she extracted two
+letters with seals unbroken.
+
+[Illustration: "Lucien Wade!" she gasped. "Here are our letters to Beth
+and Rob."]
+
+"Lucien Wade!" she gasped. "Here are our letters to Beth and Rob.
+Well, it is my fault. I should have known better than to give them to
+you."
+
+"The plot thickens," I replied thoughtfully.
+
+"This is Monday. They must both be at the house now. What will they
+think!"
+
+"They will think we didn't receive their letters."
+
+"Isn't it unfortunate--" she began.
+
+"No," I replied. "I am not sure but what it is a good thing. It will
+give Rob a jolt to see that girls can be as nice as Beth is, and as
+for her, she is quite able to take care of the situation where a man
+is concerned."
+
+"But we must have Beth here. Maybe you'd better telegraph her."
+
+"Huldah understands conditions. She will send Beth on here."
+
+The next morning we took Diogenes and went down the road to meet the
+stage. As it came around the curve, we saw there were three
+passengers.
+
+"Tolly!" cried Diogenes with an ecstatic whoop.
+
+"Beth!" recognized Silvia.
+
+"Rob!" I ejaculated.
+
+The stage stopped to allow us to get in.
+
+Mutual explanations followed. Ours were brief and substantiated by the
+documents in evidence.
+
+"Now," I said turning threateningly to Ptolemy, "what did you come
+here for?"
+
+"To show them," indicating Beth and Rob, "how to get here and to look
+after Di so you and mudder could enjoy your vacation," he replied
+glibly.
+
+Beth laughed mirthfully.
+
+"Check! Lucien."
+
+"Didn't Huldah warn you," I asked her, "that our whereabouts were to
+remain unknown?"
+
+"Ptolemy," she replied, "is evidently a mind reader, for he told me
+where you were before I saw Huldah."
+
+"Why, Ptolemy, how did you know where we were?" asked Silvia.
+
+"I was on top of the porch when you told stepdaddy about coming. I
+didn't tell the others. I won't bother you any. And I know how to look
+after Di. You won't send me back, mudder," he pleaded, looking
+wistfully at the foam-crested water of the little lake.
+
+I wondered mutely if Silvia could resist the appeal in the eyes of the
+neglected boy when he turned his imploring gaze to hers, and the
+delight depicted in Diogenes' eyes at "Tolly's" arrival. She could
+not.
+
+"You may stay as long as we do," she said slowly, "if you are a good
+boy and will not play too rough with Diogenes."
+
+We had reached the hotel by this time, and with a wild "ki yi"
+Ptolemy dashed for the shore, dragging the delighted Diogenes with
+him.
+
+"It's only fair to Huldah to take one more off her hands," Silvia said
+apologetically.
+
+"Them Three is what bothers me," I complained. "If they, too, follow
+after, Heaven help them! I won't."
+
+"It's a good arrangement all around," declared Rob. "I judge it takes
+a Polydore to understand his ilk, so the kids can pair off together.
+Miss Wade will be company for you, while Lucien and I go fishing."
+
+He looked keenly at Beth as he spoke, but Beth was looking demurely
+down and made no sign of having heard him.
+
+Silvia and I went with Beth to her room, and then she told her story.
+
+"Knowing Lucien's failing, I was not surprised at receiving no
+response to my letter. When I got out of the cab in front of your
+house, a wild-looking boy, very bas-relief as to eyes, and who I felt
+sure must be Ptolemy of the Polydores, appeared. As soon as he saw me
+he gave utterance to a blood-curdling yell of--'Here she is!'
+
+"In response to his call three of his understudies came on with
+headlong greeting.
+
+"'You are Beth, aren't you?' Ptolemy asked me. Then he drew me aside
+and in mysterious whispers told me where you were and that you had
+written me to join you here. He added that stepdaddy never remembered
+to mail letters. I went within and interviewed Huldah who confirmed
+his information.
+
+"Presently I saw a taxi stop before the house.
+
+"'That's him!' exclaimed Ptolemy.
+
+"'Him who?' I asked.
+
+"'Rob somebody--stepdaddy's college chum. He wrote he was coming, and
+they thought they had postponed him.'
+
+"With a sprint of speed the four Polydores surrounded your Mr.
+Rossiter, all talking at once. I came to the rescue, of course, and
+explained the situation, and we decided to follow you.
+
+"Ptolemy was promoter for the trip and suggested the advisability of
+his accompanying us as courier and future nursemaid to Diogenes. He
+was intending to come anyway, but thought he'd wait for us. He had all
+his belongings packed."
+
+"He hasn't many except those he had on," said Silvia thoughtfully.
+
+"He has some swimming trunks, two collars, two shirts, some mismated
+socks, homemade fishing tackle and a battered baseball bat. We came
+away surreptitiously to escape detection by the trio left behind. I
+knew you wouldn't welcome his presence--but he said he was coming
+anyway, so we thought we might as well bring him and express him
+back."
+
+After visiting with Beth for a few moments, Silvia and I withdrew to
+talk matters over confidentially.
+
+"All's well that ends well," I quoth.
+
+"It hasn't ended yet," reminded Silvia. "I trust Ptolemy didn't reveal
+what you said about Rob's being a woman-hater and Beth a flirt."
+
+Ptolemy conveniently appeared just then, as he generally did in the
+midst of private interviews. Silvia asked him if he had repeated those
+remarks to Beth or Rob.
+
+"Why, no," he said. "I knew you didn't want her to know, because
+stepdaddy said so, and I thought he wouldn't like to be called that,
+and I wasn't going to give Beth away to him."
+
+"You're all right, Ptolemy!" I exclaimed, for the first time awarding
+him approbation.
+
+Out on the veranda we met Rob.
+
+"Say, those Polydores certainly have the punch and pep," he declared.
+"I'd like to have fetched the whole bunch along with me."
+
+"If you had," I replied dryly, "our life's friendship would have died
+on the spot."
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER VII
+
+_In Which Nothing Much Happens_
+
+
+"Why Hope Haven?" asked Rob reflectively, when he had taken inventory
+of the possibilities of the resort.
+
+"Because," sighed Silvia, "so many hopes--vacation hopes--must have
+been buried here."
+
+Rob was of an investigating turn of mind, however, and he had heard
+from a native of H. H., as he had abbreviated the place, that there
+was a smaller lake, abounding in fish, farther on through the forest.
+It was so strongly fortified, however, by the formidable battalions of
+sharp-shooting insects that but few fishermen had ever been able to
+lay siege to it.
+
+Rob and I being poison proof decided to try our luck and pitch camp
+for a few days on the shores of this hidden treasure. As we had to
+send to town by the stage driver for the necessary supplies, we
+remained in H. H. the remainder of the day.
+
+We at once paired off in Noah's most approved style as Rob had
+outlined. Beth and Ptolemy went up shore, sticks and stones and rocks
+being no obstacles to their feet. Rob and I sought the society of the
+snakes, while Silvia and Diogenes, mosquito-netted, watched a game of
+croquet.
+
+We dined without the pleasure of the society of Ptolemy and Diogenes,
+who had been invited to sit at the table with the landlady's
+children. I might state, incidentally, that the invitation was never
+repeated.
+
+Beth was quite excited over her walk.
+
+"Ptolemy and I," she boasted, "made more of a discovery than Mr.
+Rossiter did. We found a haunted house, a perfectly haunted house."
+
+"I am not surprised," declared Silvia. "You couldn't expect any other
+kind of a house in such a region."
+
+"Where is it?" I asked, "and what is it haunted by?"
+
+"Insects," suggested Silvia.
+
+"You go around shore about two miles, only it's farther, as you have
+to make so many ups and downs over the rocks. Then you leave the shore
+and go through a low marshy stretch, sort of a Dismal Swamp, and then
+up a hill. After Ptolemy and I climbed to the top, we looked down and
+saw, hidden in a clump of lonely looking poplars, a small, rudely
+built house. We went down to explore and had hard work making our way
+through a thick growth of--everything. We crawled under some tangled
+vines and came up on the steps. The house was vacant, although there
+were a few old pieces of furniture--a couple of cots, a cook-stove,
+table, and chairs.
+
+"On our way home we met a woman who gave us a history of the house. An
+old miser lived there long ago. One night he was robbed and murdered,
+and his ghost still haunts the place. No one ventures in its vicinity,
+and she said most likely we were the first people who had gone there
+since the tragedy. She told us of a nearer way to reach it. You take
+the road to Windy Creek, and about two miles below here, turn into a
+lane and then go through a grove and over a hill."
+
+"You don't really believe the story, that is, the ghost part of it?"
+asked Rossiter.
+
+"N--o," allowed Beth. "Still, I'd like to. It makes it interesting.
+Ptolemy and I are going down there some night to see if we can find
+the ghost."
+
+"You won't see one," I assured her. "Ptolemy's presence would be
+sufficient to keep even a ghost in the background."
+
+"Ptolemy's a peach," declared Beth emphatically.
+
+"If he were older, you wouldn't think so," said Rob.
+
+"Why not?" asked Beth in surprise, or seeming surprise.
+
+He smiled enigmatically, and irrelevantly asked her if she wouldn't
+really be afraid to go to the haunted house at night with only Ptolemy
+for protection.
+
+She assured him she shouldn't be afraid of a ghost if she saw one, and
+that she shouldn't be afraid to go alone.
+
+Throughout the evening, which we spent in rowing, walking, and later
+at a little impromptu supper, I was interested in observing the
+puzzling behavior of Beth and my chum. I had expected that he would
+avoid her as much as possible and speak to her only when common
+politeness made conversation obligatory, and that she, a born
+coquette, would seek to add his scalp to her collection. Instead, to
+my surprise, their rôles were reversed. He appeared interested in her
+every remark and looked at her often and intently. He was quite
+assiduous in his attentions which, strange to say, she discouraged,
+not with the deep design of a flirt to increase his ardor, but with a
+calm firmness that admitted of no doubt as to her feelings.
+
+"Your sister," he remarked to me as we were walking down to the lake
+for a swim just before going to bed, "is a very unusual type."
+
+"Not at all!" I assured him. "Beth is the true feminine type which you
+have never taken the trouble to know."
+
+"Oh, come, Lucien! Not feminine, you know. Though she is inconsistent."
+
+I resented the imputation hotly, but he only laughed and said that he
+guessed it was true that a man didn't understand the women in his
+family as well as an outsider did.
+
+"You think," I said, "just because she says she isn't afraid of
+ghosts--"
+
+"Not at all," he denied. "That wasn't the reason, but--I like her
+type, though I always supposed I wouldn't. It is a new one to
+me--anyway. I didn't think so young a girl as she--"
+
+Our discussion was cut short by the inevitable, ever-present Ptolemy,
+who came running up to us, clad in about four inches of swimming
+trunks.
+
+"Why aren't you in bed?" I demanded.
+
+"I was in bed, but it was so warm I couldn't sleep, and I went to the
+window and saw you coming down here, so I thought I'd come, too."
+
+I repeated Rob's remarks to Silvia when I returned to our room, and
+she betrayed Beth's confidences in regard to Rob.
+
+"She says she would like him if it were not for one trait that she
+dislikes more than any other in a man and that it was sufficient in
+her estimation to counterbalance all his good qualities."
+
+"What can she mean?" I asked bewildered. "I don't see a flaw in Rob,
+except for his being a woman-hater, and he surely hasn't betrayed that
+fact to her, judging from his manner toward her. I think he is making
+an effort to be nice to her on my account, and she doesn't appreciate
+it."
+
+"I asked her what the flaw was, and she flushed and said she couldn't
+tell me."
+
+"Well, I guess all around it is a good thing we are going off on our
+fishing expedition. I don't want my friend turned down by my sister,
+and I don't want my friend calling my sister a new type and
+unfeminine."
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER VIII
+
+_Ptolemy Disappears and I Visit a Haunted House_
+
+
+When Rob and I, with our camping outfit, drove off through the woods,
+Ptolemy's eyes followed us so enviously and he pleaded so eloquently
+to be taken with us that Rob was actually on the point of considering
+it.
+
+"See here, Rob Rossiter!" I exclaimed, "This is my vacation and all I
+came to this God-forsaken place for was to escape the Polydores. If he
+goes, I stay. You know I've always tried to meet issues, but this
+antique family has got me going."
+
+"All right," he yielded.
+
+After a drive of a few miles we came to the lake and pitched our tent.
+Two days of ideal camp life followed. The weather was fine, Rob was a
+first-class cook, and the sport was beyond our most optimistic
+expectation. We landed enough of the Friday food to satisfy the most
+fastidious fishing fiend, and the mosquitoes, finding we were
+impervious to their stings, finally let us alone.
+
+I forgot all business cares and disappointments, yes, even the
+Polydores; but on the morning of the third day Rob began to show signs
+of restlessness and spoke of the likelihood of my wife's being
+lonely.
+
+"Not with Beth and Ptolemy in calling distance," I told him.
+
+"But they will be off together," he replied, "and your wife will be
+alone with that _enfant terrible_. I fancy, too, that your sister
+isn't exactly a companion for your wife."
+
+"Well, that shows how little you know her. She and Silvia are great
+friends."
+
+"Oh, yes, of course they are friendly, but I mean their tastes are so
+different, and they are so unlike. Your sister doesn't care for
+domesticity."
+
+"Sure she does. You have turned the wrong searchlight on Beth. If you
+knew her, you'd like her."
+
+"I do like her," he declared. "It's too bad she--"
+
+He stopped abruptly and quickly changed the conversation. In spite of
+my efforts to renew the controversy about Beth, he refused to return
+to the subject.
+
+[Illustration: He pleaded eloquently to be taken with us.]
+
+In the afternoon, when I was doing a little scale work preparatory to
+cooking, a messenger from the hotel drove up with a note from Silvia
+which I read aloud:
+
+"Ptolemy has been missing for twenty-four hours. We are in hopes he
+has joined you. If not, what shall I do?"
+
+"We'll go back with you," said Rob to the man. "Just lend a hand here
+and help us pull up these tent stakes."
+
+"What's Ptolemy to me or I to him?" I asked with a groan, "can't we
+give him absent treatment?"
+
+"You're positively inhuman, Lucien," protested Rob. "The boy may be at
+the bottom of the lake."
+
+"Not he! He was born to be hung."
+
+All this time, however, I had been active in making preparations for
+departure, as I knew that Silvia would feel that we were responsible
+for Ptolemy's safety, and her anxiety was reason enough for me to
+hasten to her.
+
+Rob was quite jubilant on our return trip and declared that the fish
+came too easily and too plentifully to make it real sport, but I felt
+that I had another grudge to be charged up to the fateful family.
+
+We found Silvia pale from anxiety, Beth in tears, and Diogenes loudly
+clamoring for "Tolly." We learned that the afternoon before, Silvia
+and Beth had gone with the landlady for a ride, leaving Diogenes in
+Ptolemy's care, but on their return at dinner time, Diogenes was
+playing alone in the sandpile.
+
+Nothing was thought of Ptolemy's absence until bedtime, and they had
+then sent out searching parties to the woods and the lake shores.
+Finally it occurred to Beth that he might have gone to join Rob and
+me, so they sent the messenger to investigate.
+
+"He must be lost in the woods somewhere," said Beth tearfully, "and
+he will starve to death."
+
+Rob actually touched her hand in his distress at her grief.
+
+"Ptolemy is too smart to get lost anywhere," I declared. "He knows
+fully as much about woodcraft as he does about every other kind of
+craft. He's one of his mother's antiquities personified. But haven't
+you been able to find anyone who saw him after you went for your
+ride?"
+
+"No; even the hotel help were all out on the lake."
+
+"And he left Diogenes here, absolutely unguarded?"
+
+"Well!" admitted Silvia, "he tied Diogenes to a tree near the
+sandpile."
+
+"Then he must have gone away with malice aforethought," I said,
+"and Diogenes is the only one who knows anything about his last
+movements."
+
+I lifted the child to my knee, and speaking more gently to him than I
+had ever done, I asked:
+
+"Di, did you and Tolly play in the sandpile yesterday?"
+
+He was quite emphatic in his affirmative.
+
+"Well, tell Ocean: Did Tolly go away and leave you?"
+
+"Tolly goed away," he confirmed.
+
+"Oh, Lucien!" protested Beth, laughing. "He's too little to know what
+you are talking about or to remember."
+
+"Lucien's ruling passion strong in death," murmured Rob. "He can't
+help cross-examining the cradle even!"
+
+"Which way," I resumed, ignoring these interruptions, "did Tolly
+go--that way?" pointing towards the woods.
+
+"No! Tolly goed--" and he trailed off into his baby jargon which no
+one could understand, but he pointed to the lake.
+
+"What did he say when he went away; when he tied the rope around
+you?"
+
+"Bye-bye."
+
+"What else?"
+
+Diogenes' intentions to be communicative were certainly all right, but
+not a word was intelligible. As he kept picking at his dress and
+pointing to it, I finally prompted:
+
+"Did Tolly pin a paper to Di's dress?"
+
+"'m--h'--m."
+
+"Bravo, Lucien!" applauded Rob. "They say you can induce a witness to
+admit anything."
+
+"What did Di do with the paper?" I continued.
+
+The word he wanted evidently being beyond his vocabulary and speech,
+he made a rotary motion with his fist. The gesture conveyed nothing to
+our minds, but was instantly recognized and interpreted by the
+landlady's little girl, who said he meant a windmill such as she had
+sometimes made for him.
+
+"What did Di do with the windmill?" I asked.
+
+He pointed to the sandpile, which I investigated and found a stick
+planted therein. I pulled it up and saw a pin sticking in the end of
+it. Further excavation revealed a crumpled piece of paper on which was
+written in Ptolemy's round hand:
+
+  "Want to see kids. Am going home. Tell Beth I bet she dasent go to
+  the haunted house alone at night. Ptolemy."
+
+"Poor Huldah!" sighed Silvia.
+
+"I thought he was having the time of his life here," said Rob.
+
+"He was sore," declared Beth, "because you and Lucien wouldn't take
+him with you on the fishing trip. He was moping by himself all the
+morning."
+
+"Trying to think up some new deviltry," I theorized, "to make us feel
+bad."
+
+"No," asserted Silvia, "I think he really misses the boys. The
+Polydores, for all their scrappings, are very clannish. But how do you
+suppose he got down to Windy Creek?"
+
+"He could catch plenty of rides along the way, but what is puzzling me
+is how he got the money to pay his fare."
+
+"He seemed very well provided with cash," informed Rob. "I tried to
+pay for his ticket down here, but he insisted on buying it himself."
+
+Silvia worried so much about what might happen to him en route that
+after dinner I motored to Windy Creek with some tourists who had
+stopped at the hotel in passing.
+
+I called up long distance and after some delay got in communication
+with our house. Ptolemy himself answered and assured me he had arrived
+all "hunky doory", that Huldah, who was out on an errand, was "hunky
+doory", and that the kids were all "hunky doory." In fact, his
+cheerful tone indicated that the whole universe was in the beatific
+state described by his expressive adjective.
+
+I was really ripping mad at his taking French leave and so giving
+Silvia cause for her anxiety, but I forbore to reprimand him by word
+or tone, lest he get even by "coming back" literally. I did tell him
+how the loss of the note for twenty-four hours had caused a general
+excitement, but he felt no remorse for his share in the situation,
+blaming Diogenes entirely and bidding me "punch the kid's face" for
+unpinning the note.
+
+On my return from Windy Creek I was fortunate enough to fall in with a
+farmer who lived near the hotel. He was driving some sort of a machine
+he called an _autoo_. He was an old-timer in the vicinity and related
+the past, present, and pluperfect of all the residents on the route. I
+had a detailed and vivid account of the midnight visitor of the
+haunted house.
+
+"I'd jest naturally like to see what there is to it," he said. "Not
+that I am afeerd at all, only it's sort of spooky to go to a lonesome
+place like that all alone. If I could git some one to go with me, I'd
+tackle the job, but I vum if every time I perpose it to anyone they
+don't make some excuse."
+
+"I'm on," I declared. "I don't dread ghosts near as much as I do some
+living folks I know."
+
+"Right you air," chuckled the old man. "If you say so we'll go right
+off now jest as sure as shootin'. We may be ghosts ourselves
+tomorrow."
+
+I assured him I was quite ready to encounter the ghost, so he
+jubilantly turned the machine from the road into a grass-grown lane.
+We zigzagged for some distance and then got out and went on foot
+through a grove. The moon and the stars were half veiled by some
+light, misty clouds, so that the little house didn't show up very
+clearly, but as we came to the top of the hill, we saw something that
+shook even my well-behaved nerves.
+
+From a window in the roof-room extended a white arm and hand, with
+index finger pointing threateningly and directly toward us.
+
+My farmer friend turned quickly and fled toward the grove. I followed
+fleetly. "What's your rush?" I asked, when I had overtaken him.
+
+"I just happened to remember," he explained gaspingly, "that there's a
+pesky autoo thief in these 'ere parts. Bukins had his stole jest last
+night."
+
+The lights on his machine must have reassured him as to its safety
+when we emerged from the woods into the open, but he didn't lessen his
+speed. We got in the "autoo" and soon said good-by to the lane. At one
+time I believed it was good-by to everything, but at last we gained
+the highway, right side up.
+
+"Well!" I said, when we were running normally again on terra firma,
+"that was some little old ghost,--beckoned to us to come right in,
+too!"
+
+"You seen it then!" he exclaimed excitedly. "I'm mighty glad I had an
+eyewitness. Folks wouldn't believe me."
+
+"They probably won't believe me, either," I assured him. "I am a
+lawyer."
+
+"You don't tell me! Well, it did jest give me a start for a minute.
+I'd like to hev gone in and seen it nigh to, if I hadn't happened to
+think of this 'ere autoo. You see I ain't got it all paid for yet. I'm
+jest clean beat. You don't mind my takin' a leetle pull at a stone
+fence, do you?"
+
+"I guess not," I assented somewhat dubiously, however. "That was a
+rail fence we took a pull at back in the lane, wasn't it? Of course,
+if we shouldn't happen to clear the stone fence as well as we did the
+rail fence, it might be more disastrous."
+
+"Oh, land!" he said with a cackling laugh, "I ain't meanin' that kind
+of a fence. I mean the kind you--Say! You ain't one of them
+teetotalers, be you?"
+
+"Only in theory," I replied, "but this stone fence drink is a new one
+on me. What's it like?"
+
+He stopped the "autoo" and pulled a bottle from an inner pocket.
+
+"You kin taste it better than I kin tell it," he declared. "Take a
+pull--a condumned good one."
+
+I rarely imbibed, confining my indulgences to the demands of
+necessity, but I thought that the flight of Ptolemy, the ghostly
+encounter, and my Mazeppa--wild ride all combined to constitute an
+occasion adequate to call for a bracer in the shape of a stone fence,
+or anything he might produce.
+
+I took what I considered a "condumned good one" from the bottle and it
+nearly strangled me, but I followed the aged stranger's advice to take
+another to "cure the chokes" caused by the first one. On general
+principles I took a third and then reluctantly returned him the
+bottle.
+
+"Here's over the moon," he jovially exclaimed as he proceeded to make
+my attempt at a "condumned good one" appear most niggardly.
+
+"May I ask," I inquired when my feeling of nerve-tense strain had
+vanished, and I felt as if I were treading thin air, "just what is in
+a stone fence?"
+
+"Well, what do you think?" he asked slyly.
+
+"I think the very devil is in it," I replied.
+
+"Well, mebby," he admitted. "It's two-thirds hard cider and one-third
+whisky. It's a healthy, hearting drink and yet it has a leetle come
+back to it--a sort o' kick, you know. But this is where I live,"
+pointing to a farmhouse well back from the road, "but I am goin' to
+run you on to your tavern though."
+
+The hotel was dark, save for a light in my room. I invited him in, but
+he was anxious to "git hum and tell the folks", so I gave him some
+cigars and went in to "tell my folks."
+
+I found them in the room waiting for me. That is, Beth was in the
+room, sitting by the table and pretending to read. Silvia and Rob were
+out in the little balcony. They came inside as soon as they heard my
+voice.
+
+"Oh, was he there?" asked Silvia anxiously.
+
+"Yes," I replied. "He answered the telephone himself."
+
+I was feeling quite exhilarated by this time. My wife looked a perfect
+vision to me. Beth, I thought, was some sister, and Rob the best
+fellow in the world. Even the Polydores at long range, and under the
+ameliorating influence of stone fences, seemed like fine little
+fellows--rather active and strenuous, to be sure, but only as all
+wholesome children should be.
+
+Silvia was relieved at the announcement of Ptolemy's safety, but very
+much disappointed that I did not succeed in interviewing Huldah and
+finding out something about domestic affairs.
+
+I assured her that everything was "hunky doory" at home, praised the
+telephone service, my expedition to town, and painted my return ride
+with "the honest farmer" in glowing terms. I was suddenly halted in my
+eulogy by becoming aware of an amazed expression on my wife's
+countenance, a most suspicious glance in Beth's wide-open eyes, and a
+very knowing wink from Rob.
+
+"Lucien," said Silvia severely, "I believe you've been drinking. I
+certainly smell spirits."
+
+"Maybe you do," I replied jocosely. "I certainly saw spirits. I went
+to the haunted house on my way back."
+
+"I thought Windy Creek was a dry town," remarked Rob innocently.
+
+"It is," I assured him, "but I rode home with an old man--a farmer."
+
+"Does he run a blind pig?" asked Rob.
+
+"It was more like a pig in a poke," I replied.
+
+"Lucien," exclaimed Silvia reproachfully, "you told me two years ago,
+after that banquet to the Bar, that you were never going to touch wine
+or whisky again. What did that horrid old man give you?"
+
+"A stone fence. That's what he said it was anyway."
+
+"It's a new one on me," commented Rob.
+
+"There was a new toast went with it. He drank to 'over the moon.'"
+
+"You must have gone there all right and taken all the shine from the
+moon-man," said Rob.
+
+"Lucien," asked Beth, "did you really go to that haunted house?"
+
+Again I was moved to eloquence, and I told of the farmer's yearning,
+the fulfillment, the beckoning hand and the beating of the retreat at
+length.
+
+"Are you sure," asked Rob, "that you didn't take that stone fence
+before you visited the haunted house?"
+
+"I know," I replied, loftily, "that a lawyer's word is worthless, but
+seeing is believing. We will all visit the haunted house tomorrow
+night and I'll make good on ghosts."
+
+This plan was unanimously approved, and then Silvia suggested that she
+thought I had better go to bed. I had no particular objection to doing
+so.
+
+"Lucien," she said solemnly, when we were alone, "I want you to
+promise me something. I want you to give me your word that you will
+never take another stone wall."
+
+I did this most readily.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER IX
+
+_In Which We See Ghosts_
+
+
+The next morning Rob tried earnestly and vainly to drive a wedge in
+Beth's good graces, but she treated him with a casual tolerance that
+finally put him in an ill humor which he took out on me with many a
+gibe at my "stone fence spirit."
+
+Men of my profession who have to deal with facts rather than fancy are
+not believers in the supernatural. I was sure that the extending arm
+and the beckoning finger were there, but belonged to no ghost. It
+might have been a curtain blowing out the window or a fake of some
+kind. But I knew that unless there was some kind of a showing in a
+ghostly way that night, I should never hear the last of my stone fence
+indulgence, so I resolved to make a preliminary visit alone by
+daylight and rig up something white to substantiate my spectral
+narrative.
+
+I didn't find an opportunity to escape unseen until late in the
+afternoon, when I went, ostensibly, for a solitary row on the lake.
+
+I landed and came by a circuitous route to the haunted house. The calm
+security of sunshine, of course, prevented any shivers of anticipation
+such as I had experienced the night before. On passing one of the
+windows on my way to the front entrance, I glanced in, stopped in
+sheer fright, stooped and backed to the next window, which was
+screened by a labyrinth of vines through which I peered. I am sure I
+lost my Bloom of Youth complexion for a few moments. I babbled
+aimlessly to myself and then managed to pull together and beat it to
+the lake with as much speed as my farmer friend had shown in his
+retreat. I made the boat and the hotel in double quick time.
+
+[Illustration: I babbled aimlessly to myself and then managed to pull
+together and beat it to the lake]
+
+I felt no misgivings now as to the promise of a sensation that night,
+and that sustaining thought was all that propped my flagging spirits
+throughout the day, but I resolved to keep my little party at safe
+distance from the house.
+
+"Say we keep our nocturnal noctambulation under our hats," proposed
+Rob.
+
+When this proposition was translated to Silvia, she entirely approved,
+so, committing Diogenes to the Polydores' Providence, we left the
+hotel at half past eleven for a row on the lake by moonlight.
+
+When we descended the slope leading to the House of Mystery, I
+cautioned silence and a "safety-first" distance.
+
+"Ghosts are easily vanished," I informed them. "They don't seek
+limelight, and I want you to be sure to see this one."
+
+As we came to the untrodden undergrowth we heard a weird, wailing
+sound that would have curdled my blood had I not glanced in the window
+that afternoon and so, in a measure, been prepared for this--or
+anything.
+
+"Look!" whispered Beth. "The arm!"
+
+Silvia looked at the roof window and with a stifled shriek of terror
+turned and fled up the hill, Rob chivalrously pursuing her.
+
+Beth was pale, but game.
+
+"What can it be, Lucien?" she whispered. "Do we dare go in to see?"
+
+"I wouldn't, Beth," I vetoed quickly. "Maybe some lunatic or
+half-witted person has taken up abode here."
+
+"Lucien!" called Rob peremptorily.
+
+I turned quickly. He was at the top of the hill, half supporting
+Silvia. I ran toward them, followed by Beth.
+
+"It isn't a ghost, of course, Silvia," I said soothingly, and then
+repeated my supposition about the lunatic.
+
+"Of course I don't believe in ghosts," said Silvia shudderingly, "but
+it's an awful place and those sounds are like those I have heard in
+nightmares."
+
+"We'll hurry back to the hotel and forget all about it," I urged.
+
+I rowed the boat and Silvia sat opposite me. Beth and Rob were in the
+stern and I had to listen to their conversation.
+
+"Of course I felt a little creepy," she admitted, "but then I like to
+feel that way, and I wasn't afraid."
+
+"No, of course, you wouldn't be," he replied somewhat ironically.
+"You're the new woman type."
+
+"No, I am not," she denied. "I wish I were. Silvia's really the
+strong-minded type."
+
+"She didn't act the part when she saw the ghost," he retorted.
+
+"It's very unusual for her nerves to give way. Silvia's quite a
+surprise to me this summer, but I think those funny Polydores have
+upset her more than Lucien realizes."
+
+I wondered if she were right, and once again murderous wishes toward
+the Polydores entered my brain, and I made renewed vows about
+disposing of them on our return home.
+
+One thing, however, had been accomplished by our expedition. Silvia
+was more lenient in her judgment on my indulgences of the preceding
+night.
+
+By the time we pulled in at the landing, Silvia had recovered her
+equilibrium.
+
+"Lucien, what the devil do you suppose was in that house?" asked Rob,
+when we were putting up the boat.
+
+"Loons and things," I allowed.
+
+"But what was that white arm?"
+
+"Some fake thing the village wag has put up to scare the natives."
+
+Next morning's stage brought some new arrivals, and among them were
+two college students who at once were claimed by Beth. She played
+tennis with one and later went rowing with the other. Rob smoked and
+sulked, apart.
+
+My farmer friend had been garrulous and rumors of the ghost and the
+haunted house had come to the ears of the hotel inmates, thereby
+causing a pleasurable stir of excitement. A number of them announced
+their intention of visiting the place. They asked me to be their
+guide, but I refused.
+
+"It was interesting," I said, "but I think it would be a bore to see
+the same ghost twice."
+
+"I am sure I don't care to go again," was Silvia's emphatic reply
+when asked to be one of the party.
+
+"Ghosts are scientifically admitted and explained," growled Rob, "so I
+don't see anything to be excited about."
+
+Beth accepted the offer of escort of one of the students, so Silvia,
+Rob, and I remained at home. The night was quite cool, and we played
+cards in our room. When the party returned, Beth joined us. She looked
+rather out of sorts.
+
+"Oh, yes," she replied in answer to Silvia's eager inquiry. "We saw
+the ghost. I don't know whether it was the same little old last
+night's ghost or a new one. He showed more of himself this time
+though. He had two arms and a veiled head out of the window. As soon
+as our crowd glimpsed it, they all fled quicker than we did last
+night. Those two students fell all over each other and left me in the
+lurch."
+
+"What could you expect," asked Rob, "from such ladylike things? They
+ought to be kept in the confines of the croquet ground. If they are a
+fair specimen of the kind you have met, no wonder you--"
+
+[Illustration: The landlady intears waylaid me]
+
+He stopped abruptly.
+
+"No wonder what?" she asked quickly.
+
+"Nothing," he replied glumly.
+
+When I came down to breakfast the next morning, the landlady in tears
+waylaid me.
+
+"Oh, Mr. Wade," she began in trouble-telling tone, "this affair about
+the ghost is going to hurt my business. Some of those folks say they
+are going home, and they will tell others and--"
+
+"I'll fix the ghost story. Just leave it to me!" I assured her
+optimistically, as we went into the dining-room.
+
+There were only enough guests to fill one long table, and every one
+was excitedly dissecting the ghost.
+
+I took my seat and also the floor.
+
+"I hate to dispel your illusions," I said cheerfully, "but the fact
+is, I made a daylight investigation of the haunted house. First I
+looked in the window and I saw--"
+
+"Oh, what did you see?" chorused a dozen or more expectant voices.
+
+"A lot of--mice."
+
+"Oh!" came in disappointed and skeptical tones.
+
+"But, the ghost, Mr. Wade?"
+
+"Yes! The arms and the head?"
+
+"A fake figure put up by some practical joker for the purpose of
+frightening timid people and encouraging the credulous. I didn't want
+to spoil your little picnic, so I kept still."
+
+"Those sounds, Lucien!" reminded Silvia.
+
+"Were from a cat chorus. They were prowling about the house."
+
+"You're sure some lawyer, Mr. Wade," doubtfully complimented my
+grateful landlady, as we went out of the room after breakfast.
+
+"Lucien," asked Rob _sotto voce_, joining me on the veranda, "why
+don't the cats you speak of catch that lot of mice?"
+
+Fortunately Beth came up to us, and I didn't have to explain.
+
+"Oh!" she said with a shudder. "I'll never go near that awful place!
+I'd rather see a perfectly good ghost, or a loon, or a lunatic any day
+than a mouse."
+
+"You're surely not afraid of a mouse!" exclaimed Rob.
+
+"Why not?" she asked coolly as she walked on.
+
+"I told you she was feminine," I reminded him.
+
+He shook his head.
+
+"I can't understand," he remarked, "why a girl who is afraid of mice
+should be--"
+
+"You don't understand anything about women," I interrupted.
+
+"You're right, Lucien. I don't, but your sister is surely the greatest
+enigma of them all."
+
+I rented the stone fence farmer's "autoo" and took Silvia and
+Diogenes to a neighboring town that afternoon. We didn't get back to
+the hotel until dinner time.
+
+"What have you been up to all day, Rob?" I asked.
+
+"Numerous things. For one, I strolled down to the haunted house."
+
+"What did you see?" cried the women.
+
+"I saw four--"
+
+"Ghosts?" asked Beth.
+
+I shot him a warning glance.
+
+"Young tomcats playing tag with the mice."
+
+I corralled Rob outside after dinner.
+
+"For Heaven's sake!" I implored. "Don't disturb Silvia's peace of
+mind. Did you go inside?"
+
+"No; I was sorely tempted to, but refrained out of deference to the
+evident wishes of my host, but really, Lucien, we should--"
+
+"I have only ten more days off, Rob. Don't make any unpleasant
+suggestions."
+
+"I won't," he said promptly.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER X
+
+_In Which We Make Some Discoveries_
+
+
+Diogenes, who, for a Polydore, had been quite placid since Ptolemy's
+departure, caused a commotion by disappearing the next morning. As he
+was possessed of a deep desire to go in the lake and get a little
+snake, he had been, when not under strict surveillance, tied to a tree
+with enough leeway in the length of rope to allow him to play
+comfortably.
+
+By some means he had managed to work himself loose from the rope and
+had evidently followed Ptolemy's example. I suggested calling up
+Huldah and asking if he had arrived yet, but I met with such chilling
+glances from Silvia and Beth that I got busy and organized searching
+parties, who reluctantly and lukewarmly engaged in the pursuit. Rob
+and I took the shore. After we had walked some little distance, we met
+a woman and stopped for inquiry. She said she had seen a child of
+about two years, clad in a blue and white striped dress and a big hat,
+going over the hill in company with a boy of about eight.
+
+"Are you going on to the hotel?" I asked.
+
+On her replying that she was, I told her to inform them that she had
+met me and that the lost child was located.
+
+Rob and I then kept on over the hill, and when we neared the haunted
+house, we heard hair-raising sounds.
+
+"If I hadn't been here before," remarked Rob, "I should think that
+Sitting Bull had been reincarnated and was reviving the warrior war
+whoops."
+
+We paused on the threshold. A human windmill of whirling legs and
+arms--Polydore legs and arms--flashed before our eyes.
+
+"Stop!" I thundered.
+
+The flying wheel of arms and legs slacked, ran a few times, then
+slowly stopped, and the Polydore quintette assumed normal positions.
+
+"Halloa, stepdaddy!"
+
+A landslide composed of Emerald, Pythagoras, and Demetrius started
+toward me. I side-stepped and let Rob receive the charge.
+
+"Line them up now, for attention," I directed Ptolemy. "I have
+something to say to you all."
+
+Ptolemy knocked the three terrors up against the wall, and I picked up
+Diogenes, who had a bump as big as an egg on his head.
+
+"I told you," said Ptolemy to Pythagoras, "that if you brought Di down
+here they'd get on our trail. He wanted to see Di," he explained, "so
+he sneaked over there and got him."
+
+"We were wise before today," I informed him. "I saw you all day before
+yesterday."
+
+"And I discovered you yesterday," added Rob.
+
+Ptolemy looked rather crestfallen, and then, seeming to consider that
+my discovery had been succeeded by inaction, which must mean
+non-interference, he heartened up.
+
+"Now," I demanded, "I want you to begin at the time you left the hotel
+and tell me everything and why you did it."
+
+"I wasn't having any fun after you two went off camping," he began
+lugubriously. "I couldn't hang around women folks all the time. I
+wanted boys to play with."
+
+I saw a gleam of sympathy and understanding come into Rob's eyes.
+
+"A harem of hens," he muttered.
+
+"I knew we could all have a grand time here and not be a bother to
+mudder, or Huldah or anyone, and it seemed too bad for this nice house
+to be empty, and no one anywhere else wanting us."
+
+I felt my first gleam of pity for a Polydore and wiped Diogenes'
+dirty, moist face carefully with my handkerchief.
+
+"So I went home and told Huldah I had come after the boys to take them
+back with me."
+
+"And told her we had sent for them?" I asked sharply.
+
+He flushed slightly at my tone.
+
+"No; I didn't tell her so. She got that idea herself, and I didn't
+tell her different."
+
+"When did you come?"
+
+"I came the same night that you telephoned, and took the train you and
+mudder came on. We got to Windy Creek in the morning. We fetched all
+our stuff here from home. I bought it."
+
+"Right here," I said, "tell me where you got the money to buy your
+stuff and to pay your fare here."
+
+"I cashed father's check."
+
+"I didn't know he left you one."
+
+"He didn't, except the one he gave me to give you for our board. You
+told mudder you wouldn't touch it, and it seemed a pity not to have it
+working."
+
+Visions of a future Polydore doing the chain and ball step flashed
+before my vision.
+
+"And they cashed it for you at the bank?"
+
+"Sure. Father always has me cash his checks for him."
+
+"What amount did you fill in?" I asked enviously.
+
+"One hundred dollars. There's a lot more in the bank, too."
+
+"How did you get your truck here from Windy Creek?" asked Rob.
+
+"We divided it up and each took a bunch and started on foot, and some
+people in an automobile, going to the town past here, took us in and
+brought us as far as the lane. We've been having a fine time."
+
+"What doing?" asked Rob interestedly.
+
+"Fishing, sailing on a raft, playing in the woods all day and--"
+
+"Playing ghost at night," said Pythagoras with a grin.
+
+"Who made that ghost in the window?" I demanded.
+
+"I did. I rigged up an arm and put it out the window the afternoon I
+left, hoping Beth would come down and see it, but we've got a jim
+dandy one now."
+
+"That was quite a shapely arm," said Rob. "Where did you learn
+sculpturing?"
+
+"Oh, I rigged it up," he said casually.
+
+"What did you bring in the way of supplies?"
+
+"Bacon, crackers, beans, candy, popcorn, gum, peanuts, pickles,
+candles, matches, and butter," was the glib inventory.
+
+"You may stay here," I said, "until we go home, but you are not to
+stir away from the woods about here and not on any account to come
+near the hotel, or let it be known that you are here. And you are to
+end this ghost business right off. Now, Di, we'll go home to mudder."
+
+"No!" bawled Di. "Stay with boys. Mudder come here."
+
+At least this was Ptolemy's interpretation of his protest.
+
+I threatened, Rob coaxed, and Ptolemy cuffed, but every time I started
+to leave and jerk him after me, he uttered such demoniac yells I was
+forced to stop.
+
+"Wish it was night," said Emerald regretfully. "Wouldn't he scare
+folks though! How does he get his voice up so high?"
+
+"Poor little Di!" said a voice commiseratingly from the doorway. "Was
+Ocean plaguing him?"
+
+Beth gathered the child in her arms, and his howls changed to sobs.
+Rob stood petrified with amazement at her appearance.
+
+"Don't want to go," said Diogenes between gulps.
+
+"Needn't go!" promised Beth. "Stay here with me, and we'll have dinner
+with the boys and then we'll go home and get some ice cream."
+
+"All yite," agreed the appeased Polydore.
+
+"May Lucien and I stay to dinner, too?" asked Rob humbly.
+
+"No," she replied icily.
+
+"But, Beth," I remonstrated. "Silvia will be worrying about Di. How
+can we explain?"
+
+"Silvia has gone to Windy Creek for the day. You see, I met that woman
+you sent to the hotel, and she told me she saw Di going over the hill
+with a boy, and I suddenly seemed to smell one of your mice, so I sent
+the woman on her way, and told Silvia you and Rob had found Diogenes.
+Just then some people she knew came along in a car and asked her to go
+to Windy Creek. I made her go and told her I'd look after Di."
+
+"You're a brick, Beth!" applauded Ptolemy.
+
+"If you boys will be very careful and not let anyone besides us know
+you are here, so mudder will not hear of it, for though she'd like to
+see you"--this without a flicker or flinch--"we want her to have a
+nice rest. I'll come over every day except tomorrow and bring things
+from the hotel store, and bake up cookies and cake for you."
+
+A yell of approval went up.
+
+"Why can't you come tomorrow?" asked the greedy Demetrius.
+
+"Because I've promised to go to the other end of the lake on a picnic.
+All the people at the hotel are going."
+
+"I'll come tomorrow and spend the whole day with you," promised Rob.
+"We'll have a ride in the sailboat and do all sorts of things."
+
+"Why, aren't you going on that infernal picnic?" I asked.
+
+"No; I'll have all the picnic I want over here. Like Ptolemy I feel
+that I want to play with some of my own kind."
+
+Beth looked at him approvingly; then she said a little sarcastically:
+
+"Maybe you'll change your mind--about going on the picnic, I
+mean--when you see the new girl who just came to the hotel on the
+morning stage. She's a blonde, and not peroxided, either."
+
+"That would certainly drive him down here, or anywhere," I laughed.
+
+"Oh, don't you like blondes?" she asked innocently.
+
+"He doesn't like--" I began, but Ptolemy rudely interrupted with an
+elaborate description of a new kind of fishing tackle he had bought.
+
+Then Beth bade Pythagoras build a fire in the cook-stove while she
+set the room to rights.
+
+"We'll eat out of doors," she said, "I think it would be more
+appetizing."
+
+"How did you get here?" Rob asked her as we were leaving.
+
+"I rowed over."
+
+"May I come over and row you back?" he asked pleadingly.
+
+She hesitated, and then, realizing that she could scarcely manage a
+boat and Diogenes at the same time, assented, bidding him not come,
+however, until five o'clock.
+
+"She'll have enough of the Polydores by that time," I said to Rob on
+our way home.
+
+"Do you know," he said reflectively, "I like Ptolemy. There's the
+making of a man in him, if he has only half a chance. I didn't suppose
+your sister understood children so well or was so fond of them. She
+looked quite the little housewife, too."
+
+"You'd discover a lot of things you don't know, if you'd cultivate the
+society of women," I informed him.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER XI
+
+_A Bad Means to a Good End_
+
+
+When we were setting out on the proposed picnic the next day, Rob made
+himself extremely unpopular by announcing his intention to spend the
+day otherwise. The new blonde girl gave him fetching glances of
+entreaty which he never even saw. He made another sensation by
+proposing to keep Diogenes with him. To Silvia's surprise, Diogenes
+voiced his delight and chattered away, I suppose, about playing with
+the boys, but fortunately no one understood him.
+
+"Won't you change your mind and come, too?" he asked Beth.
+
+She seemed on the point of accepting and then firmly declined.
+
+When we returned at six o'clock, Rob and Diogenes were awaiting us.
+There was something in Rob's eyes I had not seen there before. He had
+the look of one in love with life.
+
+"Did you have a nice time playing solitaire?" asked Silvia.
+
+"I had a very nice time," he replied with a subtle smile, "but I
+didn't play solitaire. You know I had Diogenes."
+
+"Diogenes apparently had a good time, too," said Silvia, looking at
+the child, who was certainly a wreck in the way of garments. "What did
+you do all day, Rob?"
+
+"We went out on the water, played games, and had a picnic dinner
+outdoors."
+
+"You had huckleberry pie for one thing," she observed, with a glance
+at Diogenes' dress, "and jelly for another, and--"
+
+"Chicken, baked potatoes, milk, cake, and ice cream," he finished.
+
+"Where did you get ice cream?" she asked.
+
+"I went down to a dairy farm and got a gallon."
+
+"A gallon!" she exclaimed. "For you and Diogenes?"
+
+"We didn't eat it all," he said guardedly. "I gave what we didn't eat
+to some stray boys."
+
+"I hope Di won't be ill."
+
+"He won't," asserted Rob. "I am sure he is made of cast iron."
+
+Throughout dinner Rob remained in high spirits. He kept eyeing Beth in
+a way that disconcerted her, and then suddenly he would smile with the
+expression of one who knows something funny, but intends to keep it a
+secret.
+
+Presently Silvia left us and went upstairs to give Diogenes a bath
+before she put him to bed.
+
+"You've had two days' freedom from the last of the Polydores," I
+called after her. "Doesn't it seem delightful?"
+
+"Lucien," she answered slowly, "I've really missed the care of him. I
+was lonesome for him all day."
+
+"He isn't such a bad little kid when he is out from Polydore
+environment," I admitted, regretting that he had been restored to it.
+
+"Now tell us all about your day with the boys," Beth asked Rob, when
+we were left alone. "It really does seem too bad to keep a secret from
+Silvia, and yet it is a case of where ignorance is bliss--"
+
+"It would be folly to be otherwise," finished Rob. "Well, Diogenes and
+I left here with a boat load of supplies in the way of provender and
+things for the boys. I had to tie Diogenes in the boat, of course, so
+he would not try some aquatic feat. He objected and yelled like a
+fiend all the way. I was glad there was no one at the hotel to come
+out and arrest me for cruelty to children. Of course before we landed,
+his cries were heard by his brothers and they were all at the water's
+edge. They made mulepacks of themselves and transferred the commissary
+supplies. The ice cream and bats and balls which I found at the store
+made quite a hit.
+
+"We played baseball, fished, and had a spread on the shore. Then
+Ptolemy and I rowed out to where the sailboat was. I explained the
+mysteries of the jib and he caught on instantly. We took in the other
+Polydores and sailed for a couple of hours. Then we all went in
+swimming."
+
+"Not Diogenes!"
+
+"Certainly. I tucked him under my arm and he seemed perfectly at home,
+although greatly disappointed because we didn't succeed in catching a
+snake.
+
+"I finally landed them all safely under the roof of the Haunted House,
+and Ptolemy assured me it was the best day of his young life. In
+appreciation of the diversions I had afforded him, he made a
+confession which proved such good news to me that I was a lenient
+listener and exacted no penalty."
+
+"What was it?" I asked.
+
+"He told me that on the day of Miss Wade's and my arrival at your
+house, he had made a misstatement to each of us and had not repeated
+to us accurately what he had overheard you telling Silvia when he was
+on the porch roof. Miss Wade, what did he tell you about me?"
+
+"He said that Lucien said that your only failing was that you were
+daffy over women and made love to every one you saw."
+
+"Oh, Beth!" I cried, light bursting in, "and you believed that little
+wretch?"
+
+"I did."
+
+"Then that is why you have been so--"
+
+"Yes--so--" repeated Rob grimly.
+
+"Well, I never did have any use for a man-flirt, and I was awfully
+disappointed, for I had thought from what Rob said that you were a
+man's man."
+
+"And then, of course, when for the first time in my life I began being
+interested in a woman--in you--I played right into that little scamp's
+hands."
+
+"He is a man's man, Beth," I said warmly. "What Ptolemy heard me say
+was that Rob was a woman-hater."
+
+"I am not!" declared Rob indignantly--"just a woman-shyer, but I
+haven't finished with Ptolemy's confession. I wonder, now, if either
+of you can guess what he told me was Miss Wade's characteristic."
+
+"I don't dare guess," laughed Beth.
+
+"What I did say about Beth was that she was a born flirt."
+
+"I am not!" protested my sister, in resentment.
+
+"I should prefer that appellation to the one he gave you. He said you
+were strong-minded and a man-hater."
+
+Even Beth saw the irony of this.
+
+"I asked him," continued Rob, "what his motive was, and he said
+'Stepdaddy didn't want Beth to know about the man-hater business,' so
+he took that means of throwing you off the track.
+
+"I took the occasion to talk to him like a Dutch uncle, though I don't
+know exactly what that is. I think it was the first time anything but
+brute force had been tried on him. I must have touched some little
+flicker of the right thing in him, for he was really contrite and
+seemed to sense a different angle of vision when I explained to him
+what havoc could be worked by the misinformation of meddlers. He
+promised me he'd try to overcome his tendency to start things going
+wrong."
+
+I made no comment, but it occurred to me that Ptolemy was a shrewd
+little fellow, and that there had been wisdom back of his strategic
+speeches to Beth and Rob, for he had taken the one sure course to make
+them both "take notice."
+
+"So, Beth," said Rob, and her name seemed to come quite handily to
+him, "can't we cut out the past ten days and begin our acquaintance
+right?"
+
+"I think we can," she answered.
+
+"I had better go upstairs," I suggested, "and tell Silvia that
+Diogenes doesn't need a bath, seeing he has been in swimming."
+
+Neither of them urged me to remain, so I went up to our room and found
+Silvia tucking Diogenes under cover.
+
+"What did you come up for?" she asked. "I was just coming down to join
+you."
+
+"Beth is treating Rob so--differently, that I thought it well to
+retreat."
+
+"I am so glad! Whatever came over the spirit of her dreams?"
+
+"They've just discovered in the course of conversation that Ptolemy as
+usual crossed the wires and told Beth Rob was a flirt, and then
+informed Rob that Beth was strong-minded and a man-hater."
+
+"Oh, the little imp!" she exclaimed indignantly.
+
+"I don't know. It worked, anyway, so Ptolemy was the bad means to a
+good end."
+
+"How did they ever happen to discover what he had done?"
+
+"They caught on from something Rob said," I told her, feeling again
+guilty at keeping my first secret from her.
+
+"It will be a fine match for Beth," said Silvia. "Rob is such a
+splendid man, and then he has plenty of money. He can give her
+anything she wants."
+
+I winced. I think Silvia must have been conscious of it, even though
+the room was dark, for she came to me quickly.
+
+"I wish I could give you--everything--anything--you want, Silvia."
+
+"You have, Lucien. The things that no money could buy--love and
+protection."
+
+Well, maybe I had. I had surely given her protection from the
+Polydores, though she didn't know to what extent.
+
+"I am going to give you more material things, though, Silvia. When we
+go home, I shall start to work in earnest and see if I can't get
+enough ahead to make a good investment I know of."
+
+"I'd rather do without the necessities even, Lucien, than to have you
+work any harder than you have been doing. We must let well enough
+alone."
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER XII
+
+"_Too Much Polydores_"
+
+
+The next morning at breakfast, Beth announced that she and Rob were
+going to spend the day camping in the woods.
+
+Silvia and I tried not to look significantly at each other, but Beth
+was very keen.
+
+"We will take Diogenes with us," she instantly added.
+
+"Oh, no!" protested Silvia. "He'll be such a bother. And then he can't
+walk very far, you know."
+
+"He'll be no bother," persisted Beth. "And we'll borrow the little
+cart to draw him in."
+
+"Yes," acquiesced Rob. "We sure want Diogenes with us."
+
+"I'll have them put up a lunch for you," proposed Silvia.
+
+"No," Rob objected. "We are going to forage and cook over a fire in
+the woods."
+
+"Then," I proposed to Silvia with alacrity, "we'll have our first day
+alone together--the first we have had since the Polydores came into
+our lives. I'll rent the 'autoo' again, and we will go through the
+country and dine at some little wayside inn."
+
+"Get the 'autoo', now, Lucien," advised Beth privately, "and make an
+early start, so Rob and I can take supplies from the store without
+arousing Silvia's suspicions."
+
+"I don't believe," said Silvia disappointedly, when we were "autooing"
+on our way, "that they are in love after all, or that he has
+proposed, or that he is going to."
+
+"Where did you draw all those pessimistic inferences from?" I asked.
+
+"From their both being so keen to take Diogenes with them."
+
+"Diogenes would be no barrier to their love-making," I told her. "He
+couldn't repeat what they said; at least, not so anyone could
+understand him."
+
+Many miles away we came upon a picturesque little old-time tavern
+where we had an appetizing dinner, and then continued on our aimless
+way. It was nearly ten o'clock when we returned to the hotel, where
+the owner of the "autoo" was waiting.
+
+Rob came down the roadway.
+
+"Where's Beth?" asked Silvia.
+
+"She has gone to bed. The day in the open made her sleepy."
+
+When Silvia had left us, the old farmer said with a chuckle: "I can't
+offer you another swig of stone fence."
+
+"It's probably just as well you can't," I replied.
+
+"I'd like to be introduced to one," said Rob, who appeared to be
+somewhat downcast. "I sure need a bracer."
+
+"What's the matter, Rob?" I asked when we were lighting our pipes. "A
+strenuous day? Two in rapid 'concussion' with the Polydores must be
+nerve-racking."
+
+"Yes; I admit there seemed to be 'too much Polydores.' We all had a
+happy reunion, and I devoted the forenoon to the entertainment of the
+famous family so I could be entitled to the afternoon off to spend
+with Beth. At noon we built a fire and cooked a sumptuous dinner. Beth
+baked up some things to keep them supplied a couple of days longer.
+After dinner I asked her to go for a row. She insisted on taking
+Diogenes along, and the others all followed us on a raft. So I decided
+to cut the water sports short, and Beth and I started for a walk in
+the woods. Three or more were constantly right on our trail. I begged
+and bribed, but to no avail. They were sticktights all right, and," he
+added morosely, "she seemed covertly to aid and abet them. When we
+started for home, I found that the young fiends had broken the cart,
+so I had to carry Diogenes most of the way, and of course he bellowed
+as usual at being parted from the whelps."
+
+[Illustration: I had to carry Diogenes most of the way]
+
+"They aren't such 'fine little chaps' after all," I couldn't resist
+commenting. "Familiarity breeds contempt, you see. I am sorry Diogenes
+had so much of their society. He'll be unendurable tomorrow. Well, you
+had some day!"
+
+"So did the Polydores. Demetrius and Diogenes fell in the fire twice.
+Emerald threw a finger out of joint, but Ptolemy quickly jerked it
+into place. Pythagoras was kicked off the raft twice, following a
+mutiny. Demetrius threw a lighted match into the vines and set fire to
+the house. They said it was a 'beaut of a day', though, and urged us
+to come tomorrow and repeat the program. By the way, they went across
+the lake on their raft yesterday and bought a tent of some campers.
+They have pitched it in the woods beyond the house."
+
+When I went upstairs Silvia met me disconsolately.
+
+"He didn't propose," she said disappointedly. "She wouldn't let him."
+
+"Did you wake her up to find out?" I asked.
+
+"She hadn't gone to bed and she wasn't sleepy. She was trimming a
+hat."
+
+"Why wouldn't she let him propose, if she cares for him?" I asked
+perplexedly.
+
+"Well, you see," explained Silvia, "that when a girl--a coquette girl
+like Beth--is as sure of a man as she is of Rob, she gets a touch of
+contrariness or offishness or something. She said it would have been
+too prosaic and cut and dried if they had gone away for a day in the
+woods and come back engaged. She wants the unexpected."
+
+"Do you think she loves him?" I asked interestedly.
+
+"She doesn't say so. You can't tell from what she says anyway. Still,
+I think she is hovering around the danger point."
+
+"She'd better watch out. Rob isn't the kind of a man who will stand
+for too much thwarting," I replied.
+
+"If he'd only play up a little bit to some one else, it would bring
+things to a climax," said my wife sagely.
+
+"There's no one else to play up to. The blonde left today because it
+was so slow here."
+
+"Maybe some new girl will come tomorrow," said Silvia, "or there's
+that trim little waitress who is waiting her way through college. He
+gave her a good big tip yesterday. I think I will give him a hint."
+
+"It wouldn't help any. He wouldn't know how to play such a game if you
+could persuade him to try. He'd probably tell the girl his motive in
+being attentive to her and then she'd back out. Maybe, after all, Beth
+doesn't love him."
+
+"I think she does," replied my wife, "because she is getting
+absent-minded. She let Diogenes go too near the fire. His shoes are
+burned, his hair singed, and his dress scorched. He woke up when I
+came in and he was so cross. He acted just the way he does when he is
+with his brothers."
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER XIII
+
+_Rob's Friend the Reporter_
+
+
+Silvia's vague prophecy was fulfilled. When the event of the day, the
+arrival of the stage, occurred, a solitary passenger alighted, a slim,
+alert, city-cut young woman.
+
+She looked us all over--not boldly, but with a business-like
+directness as if she were taking inventory of stock, or acting as
+judge at a competition. When her blue eyes lighted on Rob, they
+darkened with pleasure.
+
+"Oh, Mr. Rossiter!" she exclaimed, "this is better than I hoped for."
+
+They shook hands with the air of being old acquaintances, and he
+introduced her to us as "Miss Frayne, from my home town."
+
+She went into the office, registered, and sent her bag to her room.
+Then she asked Rob if she might have a talk with him.
+
+They walked away together down to the shore and she was talking to him
+quite excitedly. Rob suddenly stopped, threw back his head and laughed
+in the way that it is good to hear a man laugh.
+
+"Miss Frayne must be a wit," observed Beth dryly.
+
+I looked at her keenly. Something in her eyes as she gazed after the
+retreating couple told me that Silvia's surmise was right, and that
+Miss Frayne might be just the little punch needed to send Beth over
+the danger point.
+
+"I rather incline to the belief that Ptolemy told the truth in the
+first place," she continued, and then looked disappointed because I
+did not contradict her.
+
+I decided not to reveal, for the present anyway, what I knew of Miss
+Frayne, of whom I had often heard Rob speak.
+
+"She can't be going to stay long," said Silvia hopefully. "She didn't
+bring a trunk."
+
+"She doesn't need one," replied Beth. "She is probably one of those
+mannish girls who believe in a skirt and a few waists for a
+wardrobe."
+
+When Rob and the newcomer returned, he seemed to be monopolizing the
+conversation in a very emphatic and earnest manner. As they came up
+the steps to the veranda, we heard her say:
+
+"Very well, Mr. Rossiter, I will do just as you say. I have perfect
+confidence in your judgment."
+
+They passed on into the hotel and Beth jumped up and went down toward
+the lake.
+
+"Did you ever hear Rob speak of this Miss Frayne?" asked Silvia.
+
+"Often. She is engaged to his cousin, and is a reporter on a big
+newspaper."
+
+"Why didn't you say so? Oh, Lucien," she continued before I could
+speak, "were you really shrewd enough to see which way the wind was
+blowing?"
+
+"Sure. After you set my sails for me last night."
+
+Just then Rob came out of the hotel.
+
+"Say, Lucien, I want to see you a minute. Come on down the road."
+
+"We've got some work ahead," he said when we were out of Silvia's
+hearing.
+
+"What's up?" I asked.
+
+"Miss Frayne is up--and doing. What do you suppose her paper sent her
+here for?"
+
+"For a rest, or to write up the mosquitoes of H. H."
+
+"H. H. is all right, only it happens they stand for Haunted House."
+
+"Not really?"
+
+"Yes, really. The rumors of the house and the ghost, greatly
+elaborated, of course, reached the Sunday editor of the paper Miss
+Frayne is on, and he sent her up here to revive the story of the
+murder, translate the ghost, and get snapshots of the house. She was
+quite keen to have me take her there at once, so she could commence
+her article, but I headed her off, so she wouldn't discover the summer
+boarders at the hotel annex. I assured her that daytime was not the
+time to gather material and the only way she could get a proper focus
+on the ghost and acquire the thrills necessary for an inspiration was
+to see the place first by night."
+
+"If she would view Fair Melrose aright," I quoted, "she must visit it
+in the pale moonlight, but you were very clever to delay her visit
+long enough for us to get over there and warn the enemy. If she had
+gone down there and caught the Polydores unawares, she would have come
+back here and revealed our secret, and there would be the end of
+Silvia's vacation."
+
+"To tell the truth, Lucien, I wasn't thinking so much of that as I was
+of Miss Frayne's interests. You see she has come a long ways for a
+story and if it collapsed from her ghostly expectations to a showdown
+of four healthy boys, the blow might mean a good deal to her in a
+business way. I think we had better let Ptolemy plant a ghost just
+once more for her. You know you made him take a reef in the flapping
+of ghostly garments. Can't we resurrect the specter and restore the
+wails just for tonight, and bring her over here at the witching
+hour?"
+
+"Sure we will," I agreed heartily. "She shall have her ghost and all
+the trappings. It will give the Polydores the time of their lives."
+
+"Let's go over there now and put Ptolemy next so he can get busy on
+his spirits." We went down to the shore and pulled off. Midway across
+the lake, Rob suddenly rested on his oars and asked:
+
+"Where did Beth go?"
+
+"Back to first principles," I replied. "She thinks, judging from your
+excited, earnest manner in addressing Miss Frayne and your rushing
+frantically away for a walk with her before she had removed the travel
+dust, that Ptolemy was quite correct, after all, in declaring you to
+be a 'ladies' man.'"
+
+"Didn't you explain to her who Miss Frayne was?" he asked.
+
+"No," I replied. "I am on my vacation and I am not doing any
+explaining, professionally or otherwise."
+
+He swung the boat around.
+
+"Starboard!" I cried. "Don't you know a trump card when you see it?"
+
+Again he rested on his oars and stared at me.
+
+"What do you mean, Lucien? If you have a grain of hope for me, please
+let me in."
+
+I repeated Silvia's theories.
+
+"I am not going to win her that way," he said slowly, "not by playing
+a part."
+
+"Well," I declared, "if you go back to the hotel now, you can't
+explain Miss Frayne to Beth, because she went for a walk with old
+Professor Treadtop."
+
+He turned the boat again.
+
+"Silvia won't come to the Haunted House, will she?" he asked.
+
+"No, indeed. Nothing would induce her to."
+
+"Then you bring Miss Frayne here tonight and I'll bring Beth. And I'll
+be sure that there are no double boats lying around loose. I'll have
+two at the dock, see?"
+
+"I see your system," I replied, "but I am not sure how I can explain
+Miss Frayne to Silvia. Silvia is not in the least narrow-minded, but
+still to leave the hotel at midnight with a perfectly strange young
+woman--"
+
+"You can tell her I want a clear field for Beth. She will see it is in
+a good cause."
+
+The Polydores greeted us rapturously and roughly. When I had restored
+order, and they were once more right side up, I addressed the chief of
+the bandits.
+
+"Ptolemy," I began, "a young lady, who is a reporter for a big
+newspaper, has come from many miles away to write up the haunted house
+and the ghost, and they will be pictured out in the Sunday edition."
+
+Ptolemy's eyes glistened, and "Them Three" were instantly "at
+attention."
+
+"Oh, say, stepdaddy," begged the young chief, "let me play ghost right
+for her, just once, will you?"
+
+"You may for tonight," I said, "but you will have to be very careful
+and not overdo the matter, for she isn't the kind that is easily
+fooled. She's had to keep her eyes and wits sharpened, else she
+wouldn't be on a newspaper, so I want you to be very careful and not
+bungle. Make a neat job of it."
+
+"I'll do it up brown, you bet!" he cried gleefully.
+
+"Naw, do it up white," drawled Pythagoras.
+
+"Show me your ghost stuff by daylight," I demanded, "and let me see
+how you are going to rig him up."
+
+He brought forth a head and shoulders and arms that were ghastly even
+in sunlight, and proceeded to explain them.
+
+"I got this skull out of father's study, and the arms came off a
+skeleton mother had in her antiquities. I dressed them up in a pillow
+case and the white cotton gloves are Huldah's. I can get some
+phosphorus in the woods and put it in the eyes. And Demetrius bought
+two electric flashlights yesterday, and Pythagoras can snap them once
+in a while from the lower windows."
+
+"You are some little property man," said Rob in admiration. "But tell
+me who produces those heart-rending shrieks?"
+
+"That was Pythagoras who did the high ones. And Em came in with low
+groans. Show 'em, boys."
+
+Pythagoras uttered high-trebled, thin-toned whines and ever and anon
+Emerald added a _basso profundo_ accompaniment, making a combination
+that was most trying to the ears at close range.
+
+"I don't know," said Rob, "as I want Beth subjected to such a
+realistic performance. We will loiter in the distance."
+
+"Your rehearsal," I assured Ptolemy, "is very good, but you must
+remember that Miss Frayne is used to encountering things far more
+terrible than ghosts. She may insist on coming right in here to
+investigate. Of course, if she does, I can't refuse or she'll think I
+am afraid, or else that I put up a fake ghost here, myself."
+
+"We'll lock the door with a chair," suggested Emerald.
+
+"She'll be quite capable of breaking into a little house like this,
+but I'll keep her back until you have time to haul in your ghost and
+make a quick and quiet getaway by a back window. Then another thing,
+she'll be over here tomorrow morning to take some pictures of the
+house, so by sunrise I want you all to take up your abode in the tent
+you have in the woods and stay there until I come and tell you the
+coast is clear."
+
+"We're dead on," assured Ptolemy. "I'm glad there's going to be
+something doing. We're getting tired of being here alone. I had to tie
+Demetrius up this morning. He was bound to go over to the hotel and
+see mudder."
+
+"Don't one of you dare to make such an attempt," I said peremptorily.
+"You keep right on here for a few days. Some of us, either Rob, or
+Beth and I will drop over every day. If you play your ghost just as I
+tell you and keep out of sight, I'll bring you over some ice cream
+tomorrow."
+
+"Bring me a bigger bat."
+
+"Bring me a mitt."
+
+"Bring me a boat," came in chorus from Ptolemy, Emerald, and
+Demetrius.
+
+"What'll you give me to stay here?" asked Pythagoras, who was a born
+bargain-driver.
+
+"I'll give you a licking if you don't stay," was the only offer he
+gleaned from me.
+
+"Be good boys," adjured the softhearted Rob, "and I'll bring you
+everything I can find at the hotel."
+
+It was long past the luncheon hour when we returned. We found Miss
+Frayne wondering at Rob's sudden disappearance and Beth was
+accordingly mystified.
+
+I planted myself directly in front of Miss Frayne.
+
+"May I take you to the haunted house tonight at the yawning
+churchyard hour?" I asked. "I am most eminently fitted to be your
+guide, for I was the first one of this assembly to see the ghost _in
+toto_."
+
+"He saw it over a stone fence," remarked Rob.
+
+"Indeed you may, thank you very much," she said enthusiastically.
+
+Silvia's face was a study.
+
+"And will you come with me, Beth?" asked Rob. "Of course, the ghost is
+an old story to us, but we really should hover in Lucien's wake out of
+regard to the conventions."
+
+"Is Miss Frayne interested in ghosts?" asked Beth.
+
+Miss Frayne turned and answered the question.
+
+"Not personally," she admitted frankly, "but the newspaper I am on is,
+and they sent me up here to get a story."
+
+"Oh, you are a reporter?"
+
+"Yes; on the _Times_."
+
+"She won't be one long, though," asserted Rob cheerfully, "because she
+is going to marry my cousin in the fall."
+
+Beth's expression remained neutral at the announcement, but I noticed
+throughout the afternoon that she was extremely affable toward Miss
+Frayne, and that she had the whiphand again with Rob, and meanwhile he
+seemed to be gathering a grim determination to do or die.
+
+"Lucien, how did you come to ask Miss Frayne to go to that awful place
+tonight?" asked Silvia when we had gone to our room for a siesta,
+which seemed impossible by reason of the bellowing of Diogenes, who
+balked at being required to lie down.
+
+"Rob asked me to," I informed her, when I had cowed Diogenes, "so he
+could have a free field for Beth. I believe he planned this
+expedition so he could storm the citadel."
+
+She reflected.
+
+"Well, maybe he is wise. Girls like Beth have to be taken by storm
+sometimes. I shouldn't wonder if Rob could be a bit of a bully, too,
+but--"
+
+She ended her speculations in a shriek.
+
+"Oh, Lucien! Diogenes has jumped out the window."
+
+We rushed down stairs, Silvia informing the guests in transit of the
+awful catastrophe.
+
+Silvia paused at the door opening on to the veranda.
+
+"I can't see him," she said faintly, closing her eyes. "You'll have to
+tend to it alone, Lucien."
+
+Beth was already at the telephone, which connected with the country
+doctor's. Rob joined me. We located our window, and began hunting
+underneath for the pieces.
+
+"Where in the world do you suppose he landed?" asked Rob.
+
+Just then the missing one came around the house clasping a bologna
+sausage in his fist.
+
+"Ye Gods and little Polydores!" exclaimed Rob.
+
+I caught Diogenes by the arm and rushed him in to Silvia.
+
+I found her in company with an old colored mammy, who was laundress
+for the hotel.
+
+"Sho'," she was saying, "I done gwine by de windah with ma baby cab
+full o' cloes, an' dis yer white chile done come tumblin' down an'
+fall right in ma cab. Now, what do you think o' dat? I reckon I was
+nevah so done clean skeert afoah in ma life. An' ef de chile didn't
+grab one of ma bolognas and done git out de cab an' run around de
+house."
+
+"Oh," cried Silvia, "poor little baby! Come to mudder. Lucien, where
+are you going with him?"
+
+I had picked up the acrobatic Polydore and was going up the stairs two
+at a time. I gained our room, locked the door and proceeded to give
+the "poor little baby" all that was coming to him. Now and then above
+his howls, I heard Silvia's plaintive protests outside the door, but I
+finished my job completely and satisfactorily, and laid the penitent
+Polydore in his little bed. Then I went out into the hall, feeling
+better than I had in months.
+
+Silvia essayed to pass me, but I took her arm and led her to a recess
+in the hall.
+
+"I am convinced," I told her, "that we have Diogenes as a permanent
+pensioner on our hands, so it was up to me to show him where to get
+off. You can't go to him for a quarter of an hour."
+
+We went down stairs and I was sure I read suppressed regret in the
+faces of most of the guests at learning of the soft place in which
+Diogenes' lot had been cast. Silvia tearfully told Rob and Beth of my
+cruelty.
+
+[Illustration: Now and then above his howls, I heard Silvia's plaintive
+protests outside the door]
+
+"Do him good!" approved Rob heartily.
+
+"How mean men are!" declared Beth indignantly. "I am going up and
+comfort the poor little thing."
+
+I held up the key to the room with a grin, and she had to content
+herself by making unkind remarks about me.
+
+At the expiration of the allotted time, I handed Silvia the key. She
+took it from me without a word or a look. It was quite evident I was
+in wrong.
+
+In half an hour my wife came down, carrying Diogenes, who, dressed in
+fresh white clothes, was a good picture of an angel child. She passed
+me and went to a remote corner of the veranda and sat down. When he
+spied me, he leaped from her arms and ran to me.
+
+"Ocean," he said propitiatingly, "me love oo."
+
+I took him up. His arms clasped about my neck, and over his curly
+head, I winked at Silvia and Beth.
+
+Rob roared.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER XIV
+
+_A Midnight Excursion_
+
+
+The night was Satan's own: dark, wind-shrieking, and Polydorish. No
+one saw us leave the hotel when, at a late hour, we started on our
+little excursion. On account of the darkness and the poor landing near
+the haunted house, we decided to go by the overland route. I managed
+to purloin a lantern from the kitchen to light our path.
+
+Rob and Beth kept behind Miss Frayne and myself, and in spite of the
+wildness of the weather, he was evidently pleading his suit, for now
+and then above the roar of the wind, I heard his ardent voice.
+Apparently Beth had not yet given him any encouragement.
+
+Going down the lane my lantern underwent a total eclipse, so we had a
+Jordan-like road to travel. Miss Frayne was quite impervious to
+unfavorable conditions, as it was a matter of bread and butter to her,
+she said, and she was accustomed to braving worse storms than this,
+and anyway she hadn't come here for a summer picnic.
+
+When we came into the grove it was so dark, I lost my bearings.
+
+"Why didn't we bring a flashlight?" asked Beth.
+
+"There were none at the hotel," I told her.
+
+"I know some boys," said Rob with a little laugh, "who would have lent
+us one--maybe."
+
+Fortunately we were well provided with safety matches and after
+striking a box or so, we gained the open. A rise of ground hid the
+house, but when we climbed to the top, the ghost loomed up ghastlier
+than ever.
+
+I felt the business-like Miss Frayne start and shiver as a little
+scream escaped her. I didn't wonder. Even I, knowing that it was an
+illusion and a snare, felt my flesh creeping as I looked at the
+ghastly thing in the window.
+
+Every now and then according to schedule a light flashed from the
+windows below. And then came the blood-curdling sounds--whimpers and
+groans that were rivaling the whistling of the wind.
+
+"This is awful!" said Miss Frayne in a hoarse whisper.
+
+"Do you want to go inside the house?" I asked.
+
+"No--o! I couldn't. Not tonight."
+
+We were some little in advance of Rob and Beth. When one spectral
+sound came like a tense whisper, Miss Frayne turned and fled, and of
+course I followed her. We could not see our two companions, but
+suddenly in an interim of wind and ghost whispers, we heard Beth say:
+
+"Yes, Rob. I think we should really be cosier in a story-and-a-half
+cottage than we should in a bungalow."
+
+"Ye Gods!" muttered Miss Frayne, "did he propose in the face of that
+awful Thing?"
+
+"Ship ahoy!" I called.
+
+"Oh, didn't you go inside?" asked Rob.
+
+"Go in! I wouldn't go inside that place; not if I lose my job on the
+paper. What can it be? You don't seem to mind it, Miss Wade."
+
+"Well, you know," said Beth apologetically, "this is my third
+performance."
+
+We were now down the hill out of sight of the gruesome, ghastly window
+display, and Miss Frayne gained courage as we retreated.
+
+"Of course I don't believe in ghosts," she said, "but what do you
+suppose that is?"
+
+"I had a theory," I said, "that it is the work of a lunatic, but I've
+since concluded it is due to practical jokers. I'll tell you what I'll
+do. If you wait here, I'll investigate and see what I can find out for
+you."
+
+"Oh, would you really dare, Mr. Wade? I don't believe men ever have
+creepy nerves," she exclaimed.
+
+I began to feel ashamed of my deception.
+
+"I wouldn't go, Lucien," warned Rob, coming to my rescue. "There may
+be a gang of desperadoes in there, or counterfeit money-makers, or
+something of that kind. Besides, I have a far more interesting piece
+of news than anything the ghost could give you."
+
+"Rob!" protested Beth.
+
+"We know it already," I laughed. "It's to be a story-and-a-half
+high."
+
+"I think I am getting material for quite a story," declared Miss
+Frayne.
+
+I knew Beth's dislike of scenes and display of emotions--mock
+heroics--she called them, so I made no congratulatory speeches of the
+bless-you-my-children order, but presently under the cover of
+darkness, I felt a little hand slipped in mine, and my clasp was
+eloquent of what I felt.
+
+"I hope," said Miss Frayne, "that daylight will make me so ashamed of
+my cowardice that I can come down here and take some pictures and go
+inside the house."
+
+"We'll all come with you," promised Beth. "There's safety in
+numbers."
+
+When we were back at the hotel I managed to have a few words with Rob
+before we went upstairs.
+
+"Bless the ghost!" he said cheerily. "When Beth first glimpsed it, she
+just turned and fell into my arms. She was really frightened for the
+first time. I shall feel under obligations to Ptolemy for a
+lifetime."
+
+"Thank goodness!" I ejaculated fervently, "that I am under no
+obligations to a Polydore. Ptolemy certainly did put up the most
+ghastly thing in the way of ghosts. The lights in the eyes of the
+skeleton were frightful."
+
+"Did you see the ghost?" asked Silvia sleepily, when I came in.
+
+"Yes; same old ghost, only more of him," I assured her.
+
+She was asleep before I had uttered this reply.
+
+"Silvia," I said, "I have a more startling piece of news for you than
+that."
+
+She sat bolt upright.
+
+"Are they engaged, Lucien?"
+
+"They are. They are building their castle--I mean their story-and-a-half
+cottage already."
+
+Alas for my own desire to sleep! I had so effectually awakened Silvia
+that she planned Beth's trousseau, the wedding, honeymoon, and the
+furnishing of their house before she subsided.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER XV
+
+_What Miss Frayne Found Out_
+
+
+We had planned to go to the haunted house at nine o'clock the next
+morning, but owing to my dissipation of the night before, it was long
+after the appointed hour when Silvia awoke me.
+
+I hurried down stairs and ate my breakfast in solitude. I inquired for
+Beth and Rob, but the waitress told me they had left the dining-room
+at seven o'clock and gone for a walk in the woods. She said it with a
+knowing smile that told me she, too, must be a "sister of the Golden
+Circle."
+
+"And Miss Frayne?" I asked.
+
+"She went down the road over an hour ago."
+
+Evidently her courage had come up with the sun. I was greatly
+disturbed at the chance of her stumbling over one or more Polydores,
+and Rob didn't want to let the cat out of the bag until her article
+was written, as he believed that if the ghostly spell were broken, she
+would lose her "punch."
+
+I was unable to think of any plausible explanation to offer Silvia as
+to why I should start in pursuit, and I wished all sorts of dire
+calamities on Rob's blond head. Lovers were surely blind and selfish.
+
+About ten o'clock they came strolling in.
+
+"We didn't know it was so late," said Beth cheerfully, "but the boys
+will keep in the woods all right."
+
+"With her nose for news, there is no telling how far into the woods
+Miss Frayne's investigation will take her."
+
+"Say we go down by the lane and meet her," proposed Beth, "so that if
+she has run across the boys we can explain to her why we desire
+secrecy from Silvia."
+
+"You and Rob go," I advised. "It would seem odd to Silvia if we didn't
+ask her to go with us."
+
+So the newly engaged couple started down the road, but in their
+self-absorption they didn't notice the turn to the lane, and they got
+half way to Windy Creek before they came back to earth and the hotel.
+Miss Frayne still had not shown up, and I began to have misgivings
+lest the Polydores had locked her up in the house, but finally just as
+we were having a happy family gathering and discussing the new event
+under the shade of the one resort tree, she came excitedly up to us.
+
+"Such an interesting morning as I have had!" she exclaimed
+enthusiastically. "I made some corking pictures of the place, and I've
+found out about not only that ghost, but all ghosts--the whole race of
+ghosts."
+
+I hurriedly interrupted her and made elaborate and jumbled apologies
+for not keeping our engagement, which evidently bored her and
+mystified Silvia.
+
+"I am glad I went alone," she finally replied. "Otherwise I might not
+have got such an interesting interview."
+
+Beth, Rob, and I made frantic and appealing gestures to her behind
+Silvia's back, but she didn't seem to notice them.
+
+"Whom did you interview, the ghost?" asked Silvia.
+
+"No, indeed. Some very interesting and unusual people who are staying
+there."
+
+I threw her a wildly beseeching glance and Beth and Rob began at the
+same time to ply her with distracting questions. I think she seemed to
+divine that there was something in the situation that was not to be
+explained, but Silvia interrupted them.
+
+"Do let Miss Frayne tell us about her interview," she said. "We all
+seem to be very talkative today."
+
+I saw there was no way to dodge the dénouement, so I awaited the
+finale in dread desperation. It proved to be more of a stunner than I
+had expected.
+
+"I went down the lane," she said, "and through the grove, up the
+little hill, and laughed at myself for the hallucinations of the night
+before. There were no ghosts visible and the door to the haunted
+house was hospitably open. I stood on the hill long enough to make
+some pictures and then went on. I walked up the steps fearlessly and
+looked within. A woman, an untidy, disheveled-looking woman, sat at a
+table writing furiously in just the same breathless way I write when I
+have a scoop, and the presses are waiting open-mouthed for my copy.
+
+"She looked up and scowled at my intrusion.
+
+"'Don't bother me,' she said, and continued writing.
+
+"I went through the house and came outside again where I met an
+absent-minded, spectacled man. I told him who I was and of my object
+in coming to the house. Then he showed signs of coming to.
+
+"'Oh, the ghost!' he said. 'That is what brought me here. My wife is
+interested in more tangible, more material things. We have just
+returned from a long journey, and when we were nearly to our
+destination, our place of residence, I happened to read in a paper
+about this haunted house and its apparition, so we came right up here
+this morning to remain overnight and see if the article were true.'
+
+"I told him how successful I had been and he became quite alert and
+enthusiastic. He showed me why I should not have been alarmed, because
+ghosts, he said, were scientific facts. He then explained to me at
+length how the gases from the dead arise and form a nebulous vapor or
+a vaporous nebula. It sounded very simple and plausible when he told
+me, but I can't seem to remember it. Fortunately I have it all down in
+writing."
+
+Silvia's eyes and mine had met in speechless horror since she had
+mentioned the "writing woman."
+
+"Lucien!" Silvia now said in a tragic, hoarse whisper--"the
+Polydores!"
+
+"Oh, do you know them?" asked Miss Frayne. "Dr. Felix Polydore, the
+eminent LL.D. or something like that."
+
+"The whole family are D's," I said.
+
+"His wife is the highest of high-brows, and they are averse to
+interviews. They moved to a small city sometime ago to be secluded.
+Just think of my opportunity! I have them headlined! 'The Haunted
+House of Hope Haven. Ghost that appears at midnight scientifically
+explained by the distinguished Dr. Felix Polydore.'"
+
+"I think we are in luck," I said to Silvia, on second thoughts. "We
+will take them home by the nape of the neck and deliver their children
+into their keeping to have and to hold."
+
+"I can't turn Diogenes over to them," she said plaintively.
+
+"Diogenes!" repeated Miss Frayne in astonishment.
+
+I then narrated to her the history of our next-door neighbors, and how
+they planted their five children upon us.
+
+"We had better go down at once and see them," said Silvia, "before
+they escape. No telling where they might take it in their heads to
+go."
+
+"We will," I said, "we'll go soon after luncheon."
+
+"Thrice blessed haunted house," quoted Rob. "It gave me Beth, and it
+has restored the parents of the wise Ptolemy and 'Them Three.'"
+
+"And gave me a ripping story," said Miss Frayne.
+
+Just then the gong sounded, and after luncheon while I was comfortably
+tipped back in a chair, my feet on the veranda rail, seeing in the
+smoke from my pipe dream visions of Polydoreless days, a faint cry
+from Silvia brought me back to earth.
+
+"Lucien, look!"
+
+I looked.
+
+My chair came down to all fours and my feet slipped from the rail.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER XVI
+
+_Ptolemy's Tale_
+
+
+Four defiant, determined-looking Polydores came up the steps and bore
+down upon us. Then Silvia as usual thought she saw land ahead.
+
+"Oh, boys," she asked hopefully, "did your father send for you to meet
+him here? And when is he going to take you home?"
+
+"Didn't I tell you," I thundered at Ptolemy, "that you were not to
+leave that house--"
+
+"It left us," interrupted Emerald with a grin.
+
+"Went up in smoke," added Pythagoras blithely, "ghost and all."
+
+"Four minutes quicker," said Demetrius, "and it would have took father
+and mother, too."
+
+"Oh, is it the haunted house they are talking about?" asked Miss
+Frayne joyfully. "What a story I'll have!"
+
+Life to Miss Frayne seemed to be one story after another. Well, it was
+certainly becoming the same way to us.
+
+"Did the ghost set fire to the house?" asked Beth.
+
+"What are you all talking about," demanded Silvia, "and how did you
+know these boys were there? How long have you been here?" she asked,
+turning to Ptolemy.
+
+"I told you," I repeated angrily to the subdued boy, "not to leave.
+Those were plain orders. If the house did burn up, you could have
+stayed in your tent in the woods."
+
+Ptolemy's lips twitched faintly.
+
+"The house burned up and all our clothes and our stuff to eat, and our
+bats and things, and father and mother went away and I didn't know
+what to do, so--I came here. But we'll go back to our own house. We
+have learned to cook. Come on, boys."
+
+"You'll stay right here with me, son," and Rob's hand came down
+intimately on Ptolemy's shoulder.
+
+"It isn't likely we'll turn them out into the woods, when they haven't
+a roof over their heads," declared Silvia, drawing Emerald to her
+side.
+
+"I think you are absolutely inhuman, Lucien," cried Beth. "I don't see
+what has changed you so," and she proceeded to make room for
+Pythagoras in the porch swing.
+
+"Did the fire scare you?" asked Miss Frayne gently, as she put her
+arms about Demetrius.
+
+"Et tu, Brute? Well, I plainly see this is no place for an inhuman,
+childless, married man," I said with a laugh, walking down the
+veranda.
+
+In the doorway I met Diogenes, who raised his chubby arms invitingly.
+
+"Up, up, Ocean!" he begged sweetly.
+
+I lifted him to my shoulder, and then turned and walked triumphantly
+back to the family group.
+
+"Now," I said, "here is the whole d-dashed family. And I propose that
+each keep unto his charge the child he has now under his wing."
+
+Miss Frayne quickly relinquished the dirty Demetrius. Beth shrank away
+from Pythagoras.
+
+As I seated myself still holding Diogenes, his brothers sprang toward
+him in greeting, but he spat at one, kicked at another, and pulled the
+hair of a third, although he patted Ptolemy's cheek gently.
+
+"Now, we'll have this affair thrashed out," I declared in my most
+authoritative, professional manner, and I then proceeded to explain to
+Silvia the housing of the Polydores, and our strategies to keep their
+arrival a secret simply on her account.
+
+"Because you know," interpolated Beth, with a consideration for the
+feelings of the young Polydores--a consideration they had never before
+encountered--"we wanted you to have a nice rest."
+
+Silvia looked quite penitent and remorseful for her seeming lack of
+appreciation of our combined efforts. When I had answered all her
+inquiries satisfactorily, Miss Frayne's curiosity regarding the
+progeny of the eminent Polydores had to be fully relieved.
+
+"And do you mean that the scribbling lady I saw at the table is really
+the mother of these five boys?" she asked, unable to grasp the fact.
+
+"Yes; and the father hereof is the man who explained the ghosts to you
+so scientifically that you cannot remember what he said. Now, Ptolemy,
+we'll hear your story of the fire and the whereabouts of your parents.
+Take your time and tell it accurately."
+
+"Well, you see we did just as you said to, and took the ghost out of
+the window and went out to the woods early this morning so as not to
+let the paper lady see us."
+
+"Oh!" cried Miss Frayne, "am I the paper lady? I begin to see
+daylight. Are these boys the ghost perpetrators, and were you in on
+the put-up job?"
+
+"You're a good guesser," I replied.
+
+"And why wasn't I taken into your confidence?"
+
+"For two reasons. First, because your friend Rob said you'd get better
+results for copy--more inspirations and thrills, if you weren't behind
+the scenes on the ghost business,--and then we didn't want to tell you
+about the presence of the Polydores lest inadvertently you betray the
+fact to my wife. Now, proceed, Ptolemy."
+
+"After we were in the woods, I heard an automobile coming down the
+lane, and I went up near the edge of the woods and peeked out behind a
+tree, and pretty soon I saw father and mother come over the hill and
+go in our haunted house, so I came up there and hid under the window
+and heard mother say: 'What an ideal place to write this is. It looks
+as if I might really get a chance to write unmo--'
+
+"'--lested,'" I finished for him.
+
+"I guess so," he allowed. "Well, she began writing, so I didn't go in,
+but when father came outside I went up to him and told him you and
+mudder were at the hotel and that we were all with you. He told me
+they came up here to write an article for some big magazine about the
+ghost. He hired an automobile down at Windy Creek to bring them up to
+the house and the man was going to come back for them tomorrow
+morning. I didn't let on the ghost was a fake, because I thought he'd
+be so disappointed to have all his trouble for nothing, and he'd be
+mad at me for swiping his skull. I told him a paper lady was coming
+and then I went back to the woods. He went down with me to see the
+boys, and he said he would come back and have lunch with us. Mother
+doesn't ever stop to eat at noon when she is writing.
+
+"He went back and talked to the paper lady and pretty soon he came
+down and ate with us. I told him all about how we couldn't get any
+girl to do the work for us and so we had been living with you, and how
+Di got sick and mudder was all worn out taking care of him and came
+down here to rest, and that you wouldn't cash the check, so I did and
+was spending it and he said that was all right." Here Ptolemy flashed
+me a most triumphant glance.
+
+"He said you must be paid for all your expense and trouble, so he made
+out a check and gave it to me and told me to make mudder a nice
+present. He ain't so bad when he ain't thinking about dead stuff. When
+he felt in his pocket for his check book, he found a letter he had got
+yesterday and forgotten to open, so he read it then and found it was
+from some magazine, and the man said he'd pay his and mother's
+expenses to go to Chili and write up some stuff about--something. So
+father said they must go at once."
+
+"Not to Chili!" I exclaimed.
+
+"Yes; we all went up to the house with him and I took mother's pencil
+and paper away so she would have to listen. She was wild for Chili,
+and I had to go and hunt up a farmer who had a machine to take them
+down to Windy Creek. Father signed another blank check for you and
+said you could board us with it or do anything you thought best.
+
+"Then mother took a lot of papers out of her bag, some stuff she had
+written and didn't get suited with, and she stuffed them in the stove
+and set fire to them. Then we all went down to the lane to see father
+and mother off and when we got back the house was on fire. The chimney
+burned out."
+
+"Guess mother must have written some hot stuff," said Emerald.
+
+"It was burning so fast," continued Ptolemy, "that we didn't dast go
+in to save anything and all our food and clothes and balls and bats
+and fishing tackle are gone, and we didn't know what to do, or what to
+eat, and so--we came here."
+
+"You did just right, Ptolemy," I admitted. "I shouldn't have called
+you down--not until I heard your story, anyway."
+
+I held out my hand, which he shook solemnly, but with an injured air.
+
+"Do you mean to tell me," asked Miss Frayne, "that your father and
+mother went away without seeing the baby?"
+
+Ptolemy flushed a little.
+
+"You see," he explained apologetically, "mother gets woolly when she
+writes and she's forgotten there's Di. She thinks Demetrius is the
+youngest. She's mad about writing. If she sees a blank paper
+anywhere, she ain't happy until she has written something on it, and
+the sight of a pencil makes her fingers itch."
+
+[Illustration: I held out my hand, which he shook solemnly, but with an
+injured air]
+
+"Take warning, Miss Frayne," I said, "and don't get too literary."
+
+"Some day," resumed Ptolemy, "mother'll get the antiques all out of
+her system and then she'll remember us."
+
+I liked the boy's defense of his mother, and I began to see that Rob
+was right in thinking there were possibilities in the lad, but it was
+Silvia's influence that had developed them, for in the days when he
+borrowed soup plates of us, there had been no redeeming trait that I
+could discern.
+
+And while I was recalling this, I heard Silvia saying to him kindly:
+"And in the meantime, I'll be 'mudder' to you."
+
+"So will I," chimed in Beth.
+
+"I'll be a big brother," offered Rob.
+
+"I'll be next friend, Ptolemy," I contributed.
+
+Strange to say, my offer seemed to make the most impression on him. He
+came to me and gazed into my eyes earnestly.
+
+"I'll do just as you say," he promised.
+
+"Where do we'uns come in?" asked Pythagoras, with one of his satanic
+grins.
+
+Miss Frayne saved the day.
+
+"You all come in with me," she said, "and have lunch. I haven't eaten
+since breakfast, and I understand there is warm ginger cake and
+huckleberry pie. Aren't you hungry?"
+
+"You bet," spoke up Pythagoras. "We only had coffee, peanuts, and
+beans down in the woods, and father ate the beans and drank all the
+coffee."
+
+"We're out of the frying pan into the fire," said Silvia woefully,
+when we were alone.
+
+"I wish the Polydore parents had gone up in smoke," I declared.
+
+"Then your last hope of getting rid of the children would have gone up
+in smoke, too," argued Beth.
+
+"No; in case of the demise of their parents, we could have turned them
+over body and soul to the probate court," I informed her.
+
+"We will fill out this blank check for any amount, Lucien," declared
+Silvia, "that will induce a housekeeper to take charge of their house.
+I shall keep Diogenes, though, until he is older."
+
+"I wouldn't mind Ptolemy, either," I admitted. "I shall be interested
+in seeing what I can make of him, and he hasn't a bad influence over
+Diogenes, but I'll be hanged if anything would induce me to have 'Them
+Three' Chessy cats running wild over us. They can live in their house
+alone, or be put in a reformatory. We won't have them. We're under no
+obligations, pecuniary or moral, to look after them."
+
+"I think, Lucien, we might as well go home now. We've had a good rest
+and a good time, and I am anxious to be back and see how Huldah is
+getting on."
+
+As Huldah had never mastered two of the three R's, we had not been
+able to receive any reports from her.
+
+"I'll tell you what we'll do," proposed Beth. "Rob and I will take all
+the Polydores save Diogenes, and go home tomorrow and prepare the
+house and Huldah for the overflow. Then you two can come on with
+Diogenes the next day."
+
+"Good idea, Beth!" I approved. "I'd hate to face Huldah, unprepared,
+with the return of the Polydores _en masse_."
+
+"I am glad," said Silvia, "that Huldah has been having a rest from
+them for a few days."
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER XVII
+
+_All About Uncle Issachar's Visit_
+
+
+The next morning's stage carried seven passengers to Windy Creek, as
+Miss Frayne with a big roll of "copy" also took her departure.
+
+Diogenes had been quite docile and amenable to my rule since the
+licking I gave him, so we had a pleasant and comfortable return
+journey on the following day.
+
+"I hope, Lucien," said Silvia, "you won't refuse to cash this check
+for a good amount. The Polydore parents may never show up, and it's
+only right we should be reimbursed for their keep."
+
+"I will cash it," I assured her, "and use it for a housekeeper or else
+send the boys off to a school. I should like very much to have it out
+with Felix Polydore, but, as you suggest, I may never have the
+opportunity to see him at close range."
+
+Beth, Rob, and Ptolemy met us at the station.
+
+"Where are 'Them Three'?" I asked hopefully.
+
+"Huldah is feeding them little pies hot from the kettle--the kind she
+cooks like doughnuts, you know."
+
+"Huldah cooking for 'Them Three'!" I exclaimed. "She must have passed
+into her second childhood. She grudged them even an apple to piece
+on."
+
+"She has pampered them ever since our return," said Rob.
+
+"Poor Huldah! She must indeed be afflicted with softening of the
+brain," I decided.
+
+"She has probably been so lonely, shut in here by herself," said
+Silvia, "that even 'Them Three' looked good to her."
+
+In the hallway Huldah met us. She was beaming with pleasure, but
+except in her bearing toward the children, she was quite normal.
+
+"We've all had a real good rest," she observed, "and you do look so
+well, Mrs. Wade. My! but this place has been lonesome. I'm glad we're
+all together again."
+
+"Now, Silvia, shut your eyes," directed Beth, "and come into the
+library. Ptolemy has bought you a present with the check his father
+gave him."
+
+"Beth helped me pick it out," said Ptolemy.
+
+Beth led the way into the library, and we followed.
+
+"Open your eyes."
+
+Silvia gave a little cry of pleasure, and looking over her shoulder, I
+beheld a baby grand piano.
+
+"Oh, Ptolemy!" she cried, giving him a fervent kiss and fond hug, "I
+can never let you do so much."
+
+"Oh, yes," he said, flushing a little under the endearments which were
+doubtless the first ever bestowed upon him. "Father's got a whole lot
+of money grandpa left him and it's fixed so he can't draw out only so
+much each year. He said the board and bother of us was worth more than
+this and we'll all enjoy the music. But Thag and Em and Dem ain't to
+touch it. I'll knock tar out of the first one that comes near it."
+
+I was disconsolate. I didn't see how we could return it and I didn't
+want the Polydore web woven any tighter. To think of Silvia's
+receiving from them what it had been my longing to give her! But as I
+was to learn later, she was to acquire much more than a piano from the
+eminent family.
+
+After dinner Silvia asked Huldah to come in and hear the music, and
+when Silvia's repertoire was exhausted, we gave our faithful servant
+all the little details of our trip which Beth had not supplied.
+
+"Now tell us, Huldah, how things went along here," said Silvia.
+
+"Well, you think some wonderful things happened to you all on your
+trip mebby--ghosts and proposals," looking at Beth and Rob, "and fires
+and Polydores, but back here in this quiet house something happened
+that has your ghosts and things skinned by a mile."
+
+"Oh, dear!" cried Silvia apprehensively, "what is it?"
+
+"Break it very gently, Huldah," I cautioned. "You know we've borne a
+good deal."
+
+"Your uncle Issachar was here for a couple of days."
+
+She certainly had made a sensation.
+
+"Not Uncle Issachar! Not here?" exclaimed Silvia incredulously.
+
+"Yes, ma'am. He came the next day after Beth and Mr. Rossiter and
+Polly left. I told him you'd gone away for a little vacation and rest.
+I didn't let on that I knew where you had gone, because I didn't want
+him straggling up there, too, or sending for you to come back. He said
+your absence would make no difference to his plans; that he never let
+nothing do that. He come to pay a visit and he should pay one."
+
+"Yes," said Silvia feebly. "That sounds like Uncle Issachar."
+
+"I told him to make himself perfectly at home; that every one did that
+to this place, and he said he would. I'd just slicked up the big front
+room upstairs and I seen to it that he had everything all right. I
+cooked the best dinner I knew how, and he said it was the first white
+man's meal he had eat since his ma died, so I found out what she used
+to cook and fed him on it. Them three kids and him eat like they was
+holler. I guess if Polly hadn't took them away your grocery bill would
+'a looked like Barb'ry Allen's grave.
+
+"Well, as I was saying, your uncle he eat till he got over his
+grouches, and like enough he'd be here eating yet, if he hadn't got a
+telegraph to hit the line for home, some big business deal, he said,
+and I guess it was a great deal, for he licked his chops and smacked
+his lips over it, and he give me a ten dollar bill to get a new dress
+and each of Them Three one dollar fer candy."
+
+"The old tightwad!" I exclaimed. "It was your cooking, sure, that made
+him loosen up that way."
+
+"Tightwad nothing!" she declared indignantly. "You won't think he was
+tight-wadded when you read this here letter he left for you. He told
+me what was in it, and I've just been busting to tell it to Beth, but
+I waited for you to know it first."
+
+With great excitement Silvia opened the letter, read it, gasped,
+re-read it, and then in consternation handed it to me.
+
+"Read it aloud, Lucien," she bade. "Maybe I can believe it then."
+
+This was the letter.
+
+  "My dear Niece:
+
+  "I was sorry not to see you, but glad to learn that, as every wise
+  and good woman should do, you are raising a fine family--a family
+  of _sons_, which is what our country most needs. Your son
+  Pythagoras informed me that you had taken your oldest child,
+  Ptolemy, and your youngest, Diogenes, with you, I am glad you left
+  three such promising samples for me to see.
+
+  "As you have five sons, I have, agreeable to my promise, placed in
+  your name in the First National Bank of your city the sum of
+  twenty-five thousand dollars.
+
+                                           "Your affectionate uncle,
+                                                   "Issachar Innes."
+
+"Huldah," I asked, "did you tell him the Polydores were our
+children?"
+
+"Me?" she repeated indignantly. "Me tell a lie like that! No; I didn't
+get no chance to tell him anything about them. 'Them Three' done the
+telling. The first thing that one"--pointing to Pythagoras--"said was,
+'Mudder went away and took the baby, Diogenes, with her.' And then
+that next one"--indicating Emerald--"said: 'Yes, and our oldest
+brother, Ptolemy, went on with Beth to see them.'
+
+"The old gent asked them all their names and ages and he was so
+pleased and said he thought it was just fine for you to raise five
+sons, so I didn't have no heart to tell him no different. 'Twan't none
+of my business anyhow. Then 'Them Three' kept talking about stepdaddy,
+and your Uncle Issachar asks 'Who the devil is he? Did my niece marry
+again?' And I told him as how Mr. Wade was all the husband you ever
+had, and that stepdaddy was nothing but a sort of pet-name the kids
+had give Mr. Wade."
+
+"I told him," said Demetrius, "that stepdaddy was cross to us
+sometimes and not as nice as mudder, and he said--"
+
+"You shut up," commanded Huldah quickly, "and let me talk."
+
+"No," I intercepted, "I'd really be interested in hearing what he told
+Uncle Issachar. What was it, Demetrius, that your great-uncle said to
+you?"
+
+"He said," stated the imp, darting his tongue out in triumph at his
+victory over Huldah, "that he always thought you was a stiff."
+
+"He didn't say nothing of the kind!" declared Huldah. "He said you was
+stiff-necked, and that he presumed you would act more like a
+stepfather than the real thing. Well, as I was saying, he asked their
+names, and he liked them fine. Said they were so classy."
+
+"Didn't he say classic, Huldah?" inquired Rob.
+
+"Mebby. What's the difference?" snapped Huldah.
+
+"None," I assured her quickly, dodging a definition.
+
+"She told him--" began Emerald.
+
+"You shut up," again adjured Huldah, "or I'll never bake you one of
+those small pies no more."
+
+"Oh, please, Huldah," I coaxed. "Let us hear everything. I've always
+told you my life's secrets, and I don't mind what you or the boys told
+him."
+
+"Well, I suppose what he was going to tattle was that I thought the
+old gent might feel hurt, 'cause none of them was named after him, so
+I told him Polly's middle name was Issachar."
+
+"Why, Huldah," remonstrated Silvia.
+
+"Well, he's always wanted a middle name, and he's never been baptized,
+so you can stick it in and have him ducked next Sunday and then that
+will square that. 'Them Three' stuck to him like a hive of bees, and I
+was scairt for fear they'd let the cat out of the bag, and so long as
+they had put it in, I thought it might just as well stay in, but they
+were just as slick as grease in all they said. They'll hang in that
+rogues' gallery yet."
+
+"I suppose they were pretty--strenuous," said Silvia with a sigh.
+
+"They was more than that. The first afternoon right after dinner when
+he was sitting on the front porch, sleeping peaceful and snoring, that
+there one--" pointing to Pythagoras--
+
+"Tattle-tale!" he began, but I administered a cuff and he subsided
+into surprised silence.
+
+[Illustration: "He went to the front window and dropped a young kitten
+down on the old gent's head."]
+
+"He," said Huldah, looking pleased at this little attention to the
+boy, "went to the front window and dropped a young kitten down on the
+old gent's head. It clawed something fierce. We had just got things
+going smooth again when Emmy got one of his earaches. I roasted an
+onion and put in his ear, and what did he do but take it out of his
+ear and slip it down your poor uncle's back."
+
+"Why didn't you beat them?" I asked indignantly.
+
+"Because the old gent did that. He put 'em across his knee, and
+believe me, it was some licking they caught. They didn't let out a
+whimper and that pleased him."
+
+"Huh!" said Emerald. "Thag don't know how to cry. He hasn't got any
+tears, and old Uncle Iz didn't hurt me, because, you see, when I heard
+Thag getting his, I went and stuffed the Declaration of Independence,
+that book of stepdaddy's that Demetrius tore the pictures out of, in
+my pants."
+
+"Go on!" urged Rob delightedly. "What else did you all do? Uncle must
+have had some time. It would make a fine scenario. 'The first visit of
+the rich uncle.'"
+
+"Well," resumed Huldah. "One of 'em put red pepper in the old man's
+bed, and he like to sneeze his head off, but he said as how sneezing
+was healthy, and showed you'd got rid of a cold."
+
+"He never got on to the pepper," said Demetrius gleefully.
+
+"In the morning, that second one put a toad in his new uncle's pocket,
+and Emmy broke his specs. Then Meetie he dropped his watch. They used
+his razor to cut the lawn with. And then they took him down to the
+creek to go fishing, and they put the fish in Uncle's silk hat, and
+and----"
+
+"Stop!" implored Silvia, who was now in tears. "Uncle Issachar
+believes them mine! Ours! And that I brought them up! Oh, why did we
+ever go away?"
+
+"Oh, pshaw," exclaimed Huldah comfortingly, "he said you had brung
+them up fine; that they were no mollycoddles or Lizzie boys, and he
+didn't suppose you had so much sense as to leave them natural."
+
+"A left-handed one for mudder," laughed Beth.
+
+"He must be a very peculiar man--ready for the asylum, I should say,"
+commented Rob.
+
+"He would have been if he'd stayed any longer, or else I would have
+been," declared Huldah.
+
+"Couldn't you make them behave, someway?" asked Silvia.
+
+"Well, at first I tried to, and every time I pinched one of 'em when
+the old gent wasn't looking, or knocked 'em down when I got 'em alone,
+they would threaten to tell who they was, and then when I seen how
+your uncle liked the way they acted, I just let 'em go it, head on.
+And seeing as how they each brung you five thousand, I've treated 'em
+best I know how. They're worth it, now. They done one thing more that
+was awful. Could you stand it to hear?" turning to Silvia.
+
+"Please, Silvia," implored Rob.
+
+"Well," argued Silvia faintly. "I suppose we might as well know the
+worst."
+
+"You see the old gent didn't always get up to breakfast with the kids
+and one morning when I brought in the cakes Emmy looked up and
+grinned. I nearly dropped the plate. He had both sets of the old man's
+false teeth in his mouth. I got 'em back in his room without his
+waking, but I'd have liked a picture of Emmy."
+
+"Pythagoras," I demanded, when we had recovered from this recital,
+"why didn't you tell him who you were, and how you all came to be
+here with us?"
+
+"Because she is our mudder, and we are going to stay with her, always.
+We've got a snap. So has father and mother. And Ptolemy told us that
+if you ever got any kids, you'd get five thousand each for them, and I
+thought we'd just make that much for you. So we played Uncle Iz for
+it. Easy money, all right, all right."
+
+"Talk about fine financiering," quoth Rob. "'Them Three' will surely
+land on Wall Street."
+
+But poor Silvia had no heart for humor and was weeping silently.
+
+"Why, look here, my dear," I said in consolation, "this is a very
+simple matter to adjust. In the morning when you feel better, just
+write a full explanation of the affair and inclose your check for
+twenty-five thousand."
+
+Silvia quickly wiped away her tears.
+
+"I'll do it tonight, Lucien. I feel better now. I never thought of
+writing."
+
+Huldah and "Them Three" looked most lugubrious.
+
+"The old skinflint won't miss it as much as I would a penny," declared
+our faithful handmaiden. "And I'm sure you've earnt that twenty-five
+thousand if anyone ever did. You've had as much care and worry about
+them brats as you would if they'd been your own."
+
+"Huldah," I said severely, "there is a pretty stiff penalty for
+obtaining money under false pretences."
+
+"After all the pains we took to make things lively for him, so he
+wouldn't get bored and think he was having a poor time!" regretted
+Pythagoras.
+
+"And us watching every word we spoke so as not to give it away,"
+wailed Emerald.
+
+"Cake's all dough," muttered Demetrius.
+
+Ptolemy regarded the three disapprovingly. He had the old inscrutable
+look, the look that foreboded mischief, in his eyes.
+
+"You bungled, you fool kids!" he said in disgust, "and Huldah, what
+did you want to let on to mudder for that he thought we was hers? You
+ought to have torn up the note he left and just said he'd put
+twenty-five thousand in the bank for her."
+
+"Huh! you're just jealous because you weren't in the Uncle Izzy deal
+yourself," jeered Pythagoras. "You always think you're the only one
+that can do anything right."
+
+"I wish you had been here, Polly," said Huldah, "I am sure you could
+have worked it through somehow."
+
+"I wish I had stayed and put it across," he answered. "If you and the
+kids would only learn not to blab everything you know. It's the only
+way to work anything. Minute you tell a thing, it's all off."
+
+There was still a great deal of development work to be put on
+Ptolemy's moral standard.
+
+"You'll find, my lad," remonstrated Rob, "that honesty is the best
+policy."
+
+"I'd have been perfectly honest about it," he defended. "I would have
+told him the truth, and how our parents had deserted us, and how
+mudder took us in when we were homeless and was bringing us up like
+her own because she hadn't got any, and how stepdaddy wanted to turn
+us out, and she wouldn't let him, and then he would have decided
+against stepdaddy and given mudder the money so she could keep us."
+
+"Ptolemy," I said warningly, "there is a way of telling the truth, or
+rather of coloring white lies with enough truth to make them deceive,
+that is more dishonorable than an out and out lie."
+
+"Tell me, Ptolemy," asked Silvia, "how did you know about that offer
+of five thousand dollars for each child?"
+
+"I overheard it," he said guardedly; "but I can't remember where."
+
+"He heard me say so," confessed Huldah.
+
+"It was when he first come here and he was making us so much trouble,
+and I told him it was too bad we had to have other folks' brats around
+when, if we only had our own, they'd be bringing in something."
+
+The recital now broke up and Silvia sat down to write a long
+explanatory letter to Uncle Issachar. The next morning I procured her
+a check from the First National Bank and she filled it out.
+
+"Oh!" she said with indrawn breath, when she had asked me how to write
+twenty-five thousand dollars, "I never expected to be able to sign my
+name to a check for such an amount."
+
+"You never will again, I fear," was my sad prophecy.
+
+"It must feel rich," said Beth, "just to have a large check pass
+through your fingers."
+
+"Them Three" came the nearest to tears that they were able to do.
+
+"We worked so hard for it," they sighed.
+
+"So did I!" muttered Huldah.
+
+"I couldn't live a double life," declared Silvia.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER XVIII
+
+_In Which I Decide on Extreme Measures_
+
+
+Everyone in our house, which was now filled to overflowing--in fact,
+there were Polydores on sofas and in beds on the floor--save Silvia
+and myself, was on the alert for a response to the letter during the
+succeeding few days. Knowing Uncle Issachar, we felt sure he would
+make no response, or notice the matter in any way save to cash the
+check promptly.
+
+The monotony was somewhat relieved by the difficulties under which
+Beth and Rob were pursuing their courtship. On the third evening
+succeeding our return, Silvia and I started upstairs early to give
+them a chance to have the exclusive use of the library, the Polydores
+having all been sent to bed. As we were making some plausible excuse
+for going to our room, Beth remarked with a smile:
+
+"Your motive in retiring so early is commendable, but of no particular
+benefit to Rob and me. The Polydores, like the poor, we always have
+with us."
+
+"I saw that every one of them except Ptolemy was in bed at eight
+o'clock last night and the night before," said Silvia. "You don't mean
+to tell me--"
+
+"Yes, I do mean," laughed Beth. "Not Ptolemy, though. He has become
+too dignified to spy on us, but last night as we sat here on the
+settee, we heard a suppressed sneeze, and Rob pulled Emerald from
+underneath."
+
+"How in the world did he ever squeeze under there?" I asked, gazing at
+the slight space between the floor and settee.
+
+[Illustration: "We heard a suppressed sneeze, and Rob pulled Emerald from
+underneath."]
+
+"He did look a little flattened, as if he had been put in a letter
+press," said Rob. "I gave him a dime to go to bed and stay there. Beth
+and I had just resumed our conversation when a still, small voice
+said: 'I'll go to bed for a dime, too.' I then hauled Demetrius from
+behind the davenport."
+
+"And the night before," said Beth, "when we were sitting on the porch,
+Pythagoras rolled off the roof, where he had been listening to us, and
+came down into the vines."
+
+"Now I'll stop that," I declared. "I'll tie them in their beds and
+lock the doors and windows."
+
+"No," refused Rob. "I'd like to try to circumvent them by their own
+weapons of wits. I have a little plan which I don't dare whisper to
+you lest their long-range ears get in their work. We are just about to
+start for a walk."
+
+"In this pouring rain!" protested Silvia.
+
+"We like the rain," he replied, "and we--are not going far."
+
+Pythagoras entered the room just then and looked astounded and
+disappointed when he saw Beth and Rob departing.
+
+"We are going out to a small party," Rob remarked to me, casually.
+
+It was after eleven when we heard them returning.
+
+"Do you suppose they have been walking all this time?" said Silvia in
+concern. "Beth wore no rubbers."
+
+The next day was Sunday and Huldah put into execution a plan for
+procuring one happy hour each week. This plan was the admission of the
+Polydores, _en masse_, to one of the Sunday schools. She chose the
+church most remote from home so they would be a long time going and
+coming, which she said would "help some."
+
+"Now," said Beth, as she watched them march away, "I can dare to tell
+you where we spent last evening. We were at the Polydore house next
+door. There is a little vine-screened porch on the other side of the
+house. Rob managed to open one of the windows and brought out a couple
+of chairs. It was as snug as could be."
+
+"I'll corral them every night," I said, "until you make your getaway,
+and I'll give you the key so you can go inside when it is cool or
+stormy."
+
+"We'll go around the block by way of precaution," said Rob.
+
+Presently Huldah returned from the Sunday school with triumphant
+mien.
+
+"They made them all into one class and put a redheaded woman with
+spectacles in for their teacher. I gave them street car tickets to
+come home on."
+
+When the Polydores returned, however, they were dragging Diogenes
+along and he looked quite weary.
+
+"Didn't you come home on the street car?" I asked Ptolemy.
+
+"No; we sold our tickets and got ice cream sodas," he explained. "We
+took turns carrying Diogenes on our backs."
+
+"You only had one ticket for yourself, and two half fares for Thag and
+Emmy," said Huldah suspiciously. "I thought Meetie and Di could ride
+free. You couldn't have sold them tickets for enough for sodies."
+
+"Rob gave us three nickels to put in the plate," said Pythagoras. "We
+only put in one of them, seeing we were all in one family and one
+class. That gave us four nickels for ice cream sodas and the clerk
+gave Di half a glass some one had left."
+
+"I gave you a penny for Di to put in," said Huldah. "What did you do
+with that?"
+
+"We wanted him to put it in, and when they took up the collection, he
+wouldn't give it," said Emerald. "I tried to take it away from him
+and he swallowed it. The redhead teacher was awful scared, but I told
+her he was used to swallowing things and that you said he carried a
+whole department store in his insides."
+
+"Poor little Di," said Silvia; "it's the only way he has of keeping
+things away from you all."
+
+That night I saw to it personally that each and every Polydore was in
+his little bed. It should have aroused my suspicions that none of them
+rebelled, or had evinced the slightest degree of interest or curiosity
+when Beth and Rob announced their intention of going out for the
+evening.
+
+At ten-thirty the lovers returned, bringing in Pythagoras, who was
+clad in his pajamas.
+
+"Where did you pick him up?" I asked in astonishment.
+
+"He picked us up," said Beth.
+
+"He was wise, maybe, in discovering where we were," said Rob, "but he
+fell down when he tried to work off the ghost screeches on us. We
+recognized them at once, and ran him down inside, so our party broke
+up."
+
+"Come here, Pythagoras," I commanded.
+
+He obeyed promptly and fearlessly.
+
+"How did you know they were there, and when did you go over there?"
+
+"I was playing over in our house today," he replied, "and I found one
+of Beth's hairpins with the little stones in, in the big chair, so I
+knew that was where they hid last night. As soon as you went down
+stairs tonight, I got out the window and slid down the roof and came
+over to scare them."
+
+"You've missed a lot of sleep the last few nights," I said quietly,
+"so you will have to make it up. You can stay in bed all day
+tomorrow."
+
+"Hold on, Lucien!" exclaimed Rob. "Tomorrow's the big baseball game of
+the season, and I promised to take them all."
+
+"So much the better," I said. "He will learn to mind."
+
+Pythagoras looked as if he had been struck, and quickly put his arms
+across his eyes. In a moment his shoulders were heaving. At last I had
+found a vulnerable spot in the stoic, and I began to relent.
+
+"See here, Pythagoras," I said, "if I let you up in time to go to the
+game, will you promise me something?"
+
+"Anything," came in a muffled voice.
+
+"Will you promise not to spy on Beth and Rob and keep Emerald and
+Demetrius from doing it?"
+
+"Yes," he promised quickly, his arm coming down and his face
+brightening. "Sure I will, but I did want to hear what they said."
+
+"Why?" asked Rob interestedly.
+
+"We're getting up a show, and Em is going to take the part of a girl
+and he spoons with Tolly, and we didn't know what to have them say to
+each other."
+
+"I'll rehearse you on the play, and prompt you," said Beth with a
+little giggle.
+
+"Come on upstairs with me now," I said to Pythagoras.
+
+When I landed him at his door, he leaned up against me, and rubbed his
+cheek against my arm.
+
+"Thank you for letting me go to the game," he said.
+
+I found myself responding to his affectionate advance. This would
+clearly never do. I couldn't let another Polydore squeeze himself into
+my regard.
+
+"Silvia," I said abruptly, as I came into our room, "we must really
+make some immediate plan for disposing of the Polydores, or, at
+least, of 'Them Three.'"
+
+"Huldah is managing them tolerably well," demurred Silvia. "Since they
+depreciated in market value from five thousand per to nothing, she has
+resumed her former harsh treatment of them."
+
+"Well, we are not going to keep them," I replied with finality. "We
+are under no obligations to do so. I am going to put them in a school
+for boys and use the blank check Felix Polydore left to pay for their
+tuition."
+
+"I suppose that is what we will have to do," she admitted with a
+little sigh. "Yet, Lucien, it doesn't seem quite right. If they are in
+a boys' school, they will keep on right along the same lines. They
+need home influence and contact with women. Demetrius is fond of music
+and will sit still and listen when I play. Emerald obeyed me today the
+first time I spoke, and I even thought I saw a glimmer of good in
+Pythagoras."
+
+I didn't tell her that this glimmer was what had decided me to dispose
+of him.
+
+"It would, doubtless, be better for them to stay," I admitted, "but I
+am not going to be a martyr to the cause. They are going."
+
+The next morning I wrote for catalogues and prospectus to the
+different schools, and I felt as if three old men of the sea had been
+lifted from my shoulders.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER XIX
+
+_Which Has to Do with Some Letters_
+
+
+One morning when I came down to my office, I found a letter postmarked
+from the city in which Uncle Issachar lived addressed to me. I opened
+it and found inclosed, with seal unbroken, the letter Silvia had
+mailed to her uncle and which she had marked "personal." There was a
+note addressed to me accompanying it:
+
+  "Dear Sir:
+
+  "I am returning herewith your personal letter to Mr. Innes, as he
+  has gone to South America and left no forwarding address. Should
+  such be received from him at any future date, you will be duly
+  notified thereof.
+
+                                          "Very truly yours,
+                                          "Chester K. Winslow,
+                                                    "Secretary."
+
+I read the above to Silvia at luncheon. She was grievously disappointed
+because her uncle had not received her letter of explanation.
+
+"It is most fortunate," she said, "that I sent it in one of your
+office envelopes."
+
+As usual, she had found the bright spot she always looked for and
+generally discovered.
+
+"I wouldn't care," she said, "to have Uncle Issachar's private
+secretary or the dead-letter office know all our private affairs, but
+I shall feel like an impostor until Uncle Issachar is undeceived."
+
+"I feel a hunch," said Rob, "that Uncle Issachar will run across
+Doctor Felix and his wife down there in Chili and find you out."
+
+"He may run across the Polydores," I replied, "but he'll never find
+out from them that they are the parents of Silvia's children. They
+would not mention a subject in which they have so little interest."
+
+"But," argued Beth, "naturally they'd tell him where they lived, and
+then, of course, he'd say he had a niece living in the same town. They
+would inquire her name and inform him that they were her near
+neighbors, and then he'd tell them what fine sons you have, and then,
+of course, the Polydores would claim their own."
+
+"Which theory goes to show," said Silvia, "how little you know Uncle
+Issachar and the Polydore seniors. He would not think of speaking to
+strangers, and if he did, he wouldn't say any of those usual
+conversational things you mentioned. The Polydores wouldn't be
+interested, in the least, in knowing he had a niece unless she
+happened to know something about antiques, and if he should describe
+her children, she wouldn't recognize them."
+
+After luncheon I went out on the porch. While I sat there, the mail
+carrier came along and handed me a letter--a returned letter. It was
+directed in Ptolemy's round hand to Mr. Issachar Innes. He had
+evidently used the envelope to Silvia's letter to her uncle as his
+model, for the address was written in the same way. "Personal" was
+added in the left-hand corner, and his name and our house number was
+in the upper left-hand corner.
+
+I went into the library where my wife, Beth, Rob, and Ptolemy were
+sitting.
+
+"Ptolemy," I said, handing him the letter, "here is your communication
+to Uncle Issachar, returned."
+
+He lost some of his usual _sang froid_ and appeared quite disconcerted.
+
+"Why, Ptolemy," exclaimed Silvia in consternation, "what in the world
+did you write to Uncle Issachar about?"
+
+Ptolemy had recovered and was quite himself again.
+
+"About us," he said innocently. "As the oldest of our family, I
+thought I ought to do a little explaining."
+
+"And I think," I said, looking at him keenly, "that we have the right
+to know what your explanation was."
+
+Ptolemy handed me over the letter.
+
+"Read it aloud," he said, with the air of one who is proud of his
+productions.
+
+Rob's eyes shone in anticipation.
+
+I broke the seal. A note from the secretary fell out. It was an
+apology for not returning the letter sooner, but it had been
+inadvertently mislaid. I then read aloud the letter Ptolemy had
+written:
+
+  "Dear Uncle Issachar
+
+  "I am sorry Diogenes and I were away when you were here. You
+  thought the others were fine, but you should have seen--Diogenes.
+  I hope you will send mudder back her check, because there is lots
+  of things she needs, and it takes a lot of money to take care of
+  all us. You see our own father and mother don't want to be
+  bothered with us and they went away and left us, and so we are
+  living with mudder the same as if we were really her adopted
+  children, and if her own would have been worth five thousand per
+  to you, I think her adopted children ought to be worth half as
+  much anyway, so it would only be fair to send her a check for
+  $12,500 anyway, and if you are a good sport like the kids said you
+  were, you'll send back her check.
+
+                                            "Yours truly,
+                                    "P. Issachar Polydore Wade."
+
+Rob's laughter was so free and spontaneous that I had to join in
+against my will. Ptolemy, who had seemed a little apprehensive of the
+verdict, looked accordingly relieved.
+
+"That's a fine letter, young man," approved Rob. "Stepdaddy ought to
+take you into his law firm."
+
+"No," declared Beth. "I think Ptolemy has inherited his mother's gift.
+He should be a writer."
+
+"Not on your life!" cried Ptolemy with feeling. "I want to live
+things instead of writing about them."
+
+A tear or two came into Silvia's eyes.
+
+"It was very sweet in you, Ptolemy, to try to get the money for
+mudder."
+
+I felt that all this commendation was bad for Ptolemy, and that it was
+up to me to take a reef in his sails.
+
+"It was a well-meant letter, Ptolemy," I said, "and I know that your
+motive was unselfish, but it is very poor policy to meddle in other
+people's affairs. Meddlers are mischief makers in spite of their good
+intentions. I am very glad it did not fall into Uncle Issachar's
+hands."
+
+Ptolemy looked sufficiently squelched.
+
+"By the way, Silvia," I said. "I wrote Mr. Winslow and told him not to
+forget to forward Uncle Issachar's address as soon as he possibly
+could do so, as I had matters of importance to communicate to him."
+
+"He may travel about like father and mother," said Ptolemy, again
+regaining confidence, "so why don't you put that check for twenty-five
+thousand in the Savings Department and get the interest on it
+anyway?"
+
+"I think, Ptolemy," said Rob, "that you are too good a financier,
+after all, to become a lawyer. I will go back to my first conviction
+that you should be a promoter."
+
+"We'll give him to Uncle Issachar," I proposed, "for a partner."
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER XX
+
+_"The Money We Earnt for You"_
+
+
+Life went on uneventfully save for the dire doings of "Them Three."
+Knowing that they were to be sent to school, they were having their
+last fling at life untrammeled. September came, and Rob set the day
+for his departure, as he was going home to arrange his affairs, so he
+and Beth could leave for an extended honeymoon trip. I planned to go
+with Rob and install the Polydore three in their distant school. They
+were so despondent at leaving, as the time drew near, that a feeling
+of gloom hung over the household, all the members of which, even to
+Huldah, urged me to relent. But I remained adamant until the evening
+before the day set for the dissolution of the Polydore family, when
+something happened that changed all our plans.
+
+We were assembled in the library in a state of forced cheerfulness
+when the doorbell rang. I answered it, and receipted for a telegram
+which I opened and read in the hall. It was from Chester K. Winslow.
+
+"Silvia," I said gravely, as I returned to the library, "your Uncle
+Issachar is dead. Died in South America. Heart disease. Very sudden."
+
+Conflicting emotions were depicted in Silvia's expression.
+
+The thought uppermost in all our minds was expressed simultaneously by
+"Them Three."
+
+"Gee! Then you can keep the money we earnt for you."
+
+"You know," interpolated Rob in soft-pedaled tone, "they are going to
+train school children toward the military--teach the young ideas how
+to shoot, as it were. It won't be long before they are ordered to
+Mexico to protect us."
+
+"If Them Three ever meets that there Viller man," commented Huldah
+confidently, "the fur will fly some."
+
+"Lucien," said Silvia thoughtfully, "we are under obligations to these
+children, you see, after all."
+
+"Yes," I acknowledged with a sigh, "seeing they are now ours, bought
+and paid for, I suppose we'll have to treat them as such."
+
+"You wouldn't send your own kids away to school," said Pythagoras
+significantly.
+
+"No," I reluctantly allowed, answering the protest of Pythagoras, "and
+we won't send you. You will all go to the public school tomorrow."
+
+The deafening Polydore powwow that followed made me hope that Uncle
+Issachar had met with his just deserts.
+
+
+
+
+"By the author of Mildew Manse."
+
+AMARILLY OF CLOTHES-LINE ALLEY
+
+By BELLE K. MANIATES
+
+Illustrated. 12mo. $1.00 net.
+
+A book for the many who are weary of problem novels. How prosperity came
+to the Jenkins family, how Amarilly got an education, how the Boarder
+married Lily Rose and built the Annex, and the adventures of the rector's
+surplice, are told in a wholesome little story, between whose covers await
+many laughs, and a tear or two as well.
+
+Amarilly is blessed with a large family and amiable neighbors, and their
+doings are amusing, but her fancies and devices are captivating.... The
+little heroine is all right.--_New York Sun._
+
+The sort of story which pulls at the heartstrings of all readers who like
+a real and genuine character.... No one can afford to miss the sweet humor
+and helpful cheeriness which the author serves in generous
+measure.--_Boston Globe_.
+
+"Amarilly of Clothes-Line Alley" is a dear companion for vacation days
+and comes deservedly under the books of real amusement.... Dear Amarilly!
+she brightens every hour spent with her.--_Buffalo News_.
+
+LITTLE, BROWN & CO., Publishers
+
+34 Beacon Street, Boston
+
+
+
+
+
+End of Project Gutenberg's Our Next-Door Neighbors, by Belle Kanaris Maniates
+
+*** END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK 30075 ***