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+
+<html xmlns="http://www.w3.org/1999/xhtml">
+ <head>
+ <meta http-equiv="Content-Type" content="text/html;charset=UTF-8" />
+ <title>
+ The Project Gutenberg eBook of A Line-o'-Verse or Two, by Bert Leston Taylor.
+ </title>
+
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+
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+ </head>
+<body>
+<div>*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK 30038 ***</div>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 311px;">
+<img src="images/imgcover.jpg" width="311" height="550" alt="cover" title="" />
+</div>
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+
+<div class="box">
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_3" id="Page_3">[Pg 3]</a></span></p>
+<h1>A Line-o&#8217;-Verse or Two</h1>
+
+<p>&nbsp;</p>
+
+<h3>By</h3>
+<h2>Bert Leston Taylor</h2>
+
+<p>&nbsp;</p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 200px;">
+<img src="images/deco_tpage.png" width="200" height="105" alt="page decoration" title="" />
+</div>
+
+<p>&nbsp;</p>
+
+<h2>The Reilly &amp; Britton Co.</h2>
+<h3>Chicago</h3>
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_4" id="Page_4">[Pg 4]</a></span></p>
+<p class="center">
+Copyright, 1911<br />
+by<br />
+The Reilly &amp; Britton Co.</p>
+
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_5" id="Page_5">[Pg 5]</a></span></p>
+<p><strong>NOTE</strong></p>
+
+
+<p>For the privilege of reprinting the rimes gathered
+here I am indebted to the courtesy of
+the <em>Chicago Tribune</em> and <em>Puck</em>, in whose pages
+most of them first appeared. &ldquo;The Lay of St.
+Ambrose&rdquo; is new.</p>
+
+<p>One reason for rounding up this fugitive
+verse and prisoning it between covers was this:
+Frequently&mdash;more or less&mdash;I receive a request
+for a copy of this jingle or that, and it is easier
+to mention a publishing house than to search
+through ancient and dusty files.</p>
+
+<p>The other reason was that I wanted to.</p>
+
+<p style="margin-left: 20em;">B. L. T.</p>
+
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_7" id="Page_7">[Pg 7]</a></span></p>
+<p><strong><em>TO MY READERS</em></strong></p>
+
+
+<p><em>Not merely of this book,&mdash;but a larger company,
+with whom, through the medium of the</em> Chicago
+Tribune, <em>I have been on very pleasant terms for
+several years,&mdash;this handful of rime is joyously
+dedicated.</em></p>
+
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_9" id="Page_9">[Pg 9]</a></span></p>
+
+<p><strong>THE LAY OF ST. AMBROSE</strong></p>
+
+<p style="margin-left: 3em;">
+&ldquo;<em>And hard by doth dwell, in St. Catherine&#8217;s cell,</em><br />
+ <span style="margin-left: .5em;"><em>Ambrose, the anchorite old and grey.</em>&rdquo;</span><br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 10em;" class="smcap">&mdash;The Lay of St. Nicholas.</span>
+</p>
+
+
+<p>
+ <span style="margin-left: .5em;">Ambrose the anchorite old and grey</span><br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1.5em;">Larruped himself in his lonely cell,</span><br />
+ <span style="margin-left: .5em;">And many a welt on his pious pelt</span><br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1.5em;">The scourge evoked as it rose and fell.</span></p>
+
+<p>
+ <span style="margin-left: .5em;">For hours together the flagellant leather</span><br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1.5em;">Went whacketty-whack with his groans of pain;</span><br />
+ <span style="margin-left: .5em;">And the lay-brothers said, with a wag of the head,</span><br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">&ldquo;Ambrose has been at the bottle again.&rdquo;</span></p>
+
+<p>
+ <span style="margin-left: .5em;">And such, in sooth, was the sober truth;</span><br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1.5em;">For the single fault of this saintly soul</span><br />
+ <span style="margin-left: .5em;">Was a desert thirst for the cup accurst,&mdash;</span><br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1.5em;">A quenchless love for the Flowing Bowl.</span></p>
+
+<p>
+ <span style="margin-left: .5em;">When he woke at morn with a head forlorn</span><br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1.5em;">And a taste like a last-year swallow&#8217;s nest,</span><br />
+ <span style="margin-left: .5em;">He would kneel and pray, then rise and flay</span><br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1.5em;">His sinful body like all possessed.</span></p>
+
+<p>
+ <span style="margin-left: .5em;">Frequently tempted, he fell from grace,</span><br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1.5em;">And as often he found the devil to pay;</span><br />
+ <span style="margin-left: .5em;">But by diligent scourging and diligent purging</span><br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1.5em;">He managed to keep Old Nick at bay.</span></p>
+
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_10" id="Page_10">[Pg 10]</a></span>
+ <span style="margin-left: .5em;">This was the plight of our anchorite,&mdash;</span><br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1.5em;">An endless penance condemned to dree,&mdash;</span><br />
+ <span style="margin-left: .5em;">When it chanced one day there came his way</span><br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1.5em;">A Mystical Book with a golden Key.</span></p>
+
+<p>
+ <span style="margin-left: .5em;">This Mystical Book was a guide to health,</span><br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1.5em;">That none might follow and go astray;</span><br />
+ <span style="margin-left: .5em;">While a turn of the Key unlocked the wealth</span><br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1.5em;">That all unknown in the Scriptures lay.</span></p>
+
+<p>
+ <span style="margin-left: .5em;">Disease is sin, the Book defined;</span><br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1.5em;">Sickness is error to which men cling;</span><br />
+ <span style="margin-left: .5em;">Pain is merely a state of mind,</span><br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1.5em;">And matter a non-existent thing.</span></p>
+
+<p>
+ <span style="margin-left: .5em;">If a tooth should ache, or a leg should break,</span><br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1.5em;">You simply &ldquo;affirm&rdquo; and it&#8217;s sound again.</span><br />
+ <span style="margin-left: .5em;">Cut and contusion are only delusion,</span><br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1.5em;">And indigestion a fancied pain.</span></p>
+
+<p>
+ <span style="margin-left: .5em;">For pain is naught if you &ldquo;hold a thought,&rdquo;</span><br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1.5em;">Fevers fly at your simple say;</span><br />
+ <span style="margin-left: .5em;">You have but to affirm, and every germ</span><br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1.5em;">Will fold up its tent and steal away.</span></p>
+
+<hr style='margin-left: 5em; width: 15%;' />
+
+<p>
+ <span style="margin-left: .5em;">From matin gong to even-song</span><br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1.5em;">Ambrose pondered this mystic lore,</span><br />
+ <span style="margin-left: .5em;">Till what had seemed fiction took on a conviction</span><br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1.5em;">That words had never possessed before.</span></p>
+
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_11" id="Page_11">[Pg 11]</a></span>
+&ldquo;If pain,&rdquo; quoth he, &ldquo;is a state of mind,<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1.5em;">If a rough hair shirt to silk is kin,&mdash;</span><br />
+ <span style="margin-left: .5em;">If these things are error, pray where&#8217;s the terror</span><br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1.5em;">In scourging and purging oneself of sin?</span></p>
+
+<p>
+&ldquo;It certainly seemeth good to me,<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1.5em;">By and large, in part and in whole.</span><br />
+ <span style="margin-left: .5em;">I&#8217;ll put it in practice and find if it fact is,</span><br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1.5em;">Or only a mystical rigmarole.&rdquo;</span></p>
+
+<hr style='margin-left: 5em; width: 15%;' />
+
+<p>
+ <span style="margin-left: .5em;">The very next night our anchorite</span><br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1.5em;">Of the Flowing Bowl drank long and deep.</span><br />
+ <span style="margin-left: .5em;">He argued this wise: &ldquo;New Thought applies</span><br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1.5em;">No fitter to lamb than it does to sheep.&rdquo;</span></p>
+
+<p>
+ <span style="margin-left: .5em;">When he woke at morn with a head forlorn</span><br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1.5em;">And a taste akin to a parrot&#8217;s cage,</span><br />
+ <span style="margin-left: .5em;">He knelt and prayed, then up and flayed</span><br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1.5em;">His sinful flesh in a righteous rage.</span></p>
+
+<p>
+ <span style="margin-left: .5em;">Whacketty-whack on breast and back,</span><br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1.5em;">Whacketty-whack, before, behind;</span><br />
+ <span style="margin-left: .5em;">But he held the thought as he laid it on,</span><br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">&ldquo;Pain is merely a state of mind.&rdquo;</span></p>
+
+<p>
+ <span style="margin-left: .5em;">Whacketty-whack on breast and back,</span><br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1.5em;">Whacketty-whack on calf and shin;</span><br />
+ <span style="margin-left: .5em;">And the lay-brothers said, with a wag of the head,</span><br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">&ldquo;<em>Ain&#8217;t</em> he the glutton for discipline!&rdquo;</span></p>
+
+<hr style='margin-left: 5em; width: 15%;' />
+
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_12" id="Page_12">[Pg 12]</a></span>
+ <span style="margin-left: .5em;">Now every night our anchorite</span><br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1.5em;">Was exceedingly tight when he went to bed.</span><br />
+ <span style="margin-left: .5em;">The scourge that once pained him no longer restrained him,</span><br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1.5em;">Nor even the fear of an aching head.</span></p>
+
+<p>
+ <span style="margin-left: .5em;">For he woke at morn with a pate as clear</span><br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1.5em;">As the silvery chime of the matin bell;</span><br />
+ <span style="margin-left: .5em;">And without any jogging he fell to his flogging,</span><br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1.5em;">And larruped himself in his lonely cell.</span></p>
+
+<p>
+ <span style="margin-left: .5em;">But the leather had lost its power to sting;</span><br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1.5em;">To pangs of the flesh he was now immune;</span><br />
+ <span style="margin-left: .5em;">His rough hair shirt no longer hurt,</span><br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1.5em;">Nor the pebbles he wore in his wooden shoon.</span></p>
+
+<p>
+ <span style="margin-left: .5em;">When conscience was troubled he cheerfully doubled</span><br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1.5em;">His matinal dose of discipline;&mdash;</span><br />
+ <span style="margin-left: .5em;">A deuce of a scourging, sufficient for purging</span><br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1.5em;">The Devil himself of original sin.</span></p>
+
+<p>
+ <span style="margin-left: .5em;">Whacketty-whack on breast and back,</span><br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1.5em;">Whacketty-whack from morn to noon;</span><br />
+ <span style="margin-left: .5em;">Whacketty-whacketty-whacketty-whack!&mdash;</span><br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1.5em;">Till the abbey rang with the dismal tune.</span></p>
+
+<p>
+ <span style="margin-left: .5em;">Deacon and prior, lay-brother and friar</span><br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1.5em;">Exclaimed at these whoppings spectacular;</span><br />
+ <span style="margin-left: .5em;">And even the Abbot remarked that the habit</span><br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1.5em;">Of scourging oneself might be carried too far.</span></p>
+
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_13" id="Page_13">[Pg 13]</a></span>
+&ldquo;My son,&rdquo; said he, &ldquo;I am pleased to see<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1.5em;">Such penance as never was known before;</span><br />
+ <span style="margin-left: .5em;">But you raise such a racket in dusting your jacket,</span><br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1.5em;">The noise is becoming a bit of a bore.</span></p>
+
+<p>
+&ldquo;How would it do if you whaled yourself<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1.5em;">From eight to ten or from one to three?</span><br />
+ <span style="margin-left: .5em;">Or if &lsquo;More&rsquo; is your motto, pray hire a grotto;</span><br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1.5em;">I know of one you can have rent free.&rdquo;</span></p>
+
+<hr style='margin-left: 5em; width: 15%;' />
+
+<p>
+ <span style="margin-left: .5em;">Ambrose the anchorite bowed his head,</span><br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1.5em;">And girded his loins and went away.</span><br />
+ <span style="margin-left: .5em;">He rented a cavern not far from a tavern,</span><br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1.5em;">And tippled by night and scourged by day.</span></p>
+
+<p>
+ <span style="margin-left: .5em;">The more the penance the more the sin,</span><br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1.5em;">The more he whopped him the more he drank;</span><br />
+ <span style="margin-left: .5em;">Till his hair fell out and his cheeks fell in,</span><br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1.5em;">And his corpulent figure grew long and lank.</span></p>
+
+<p>
+ <span style="margin-left: .5em;">At Whitsuntide he up and died,</span><br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1.5em;">While flaying himself for his final spree.</span><br />
+ <span style="margin-left: .5em;">And who shall say whether &#8217;twas liquor or leather</span><br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1.5em;">That hurried him into eternity?</span></p>
+
+<p>
+ <span style="margin-left: .5em;">They made him a saint, as well they might,</span><br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1.5em;">And gave him a beautiful aureole.</span><br />
+ <span style="margin-left: .5em;">And&mdash;somehow or other, this circle of light</span><br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1.5em;">Suggests the rim of the Flowing Bowl.</span></p>
+
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_14" id="Page_14">[Pg 14]</a></span></p>
+<p><strong>TO A TALL SPRUCE</strong></p>
+
+
+<p>
+ Pride of the forest primeval,<br />
+ Peer of the glorious pine,<br />
+ Doomed to an end that is evil,<br />
+ Fearful the fate that is thine!</p>
+
+<p>
+ Peer of the glorious pine,<br />
+ Now the landlooker has found you,<br />
+ Fearful the fate that is thine&mdash;<br />
+ Fate of the spruces around you.</p>
+
+<p>
+ Now the landlooker has found you,<br />
+ Stripped of your beautiful plume&mdash;<br />
+ Fate of the spruces around you&mdash;<br />
+ Swiftly you&#8217;ll draw to your doom.</p>
+
+<p>
+ Stripped of your beautiful plume,<br />
+ Bzzng! into logs they will whip you.<br />
+ Swiftly you&#8217;ll draw to your doom;<br />
+ To the pulp mill they will ship you.</p>
+
+<p>
+ Bzzng! into logs they will whip you,<br />
+ Lumbermen greedy for gold.<br />
+ To the pulp mill they will ship you.<br />
+ Hearken, there&#8217;s worse to be told!</p>
+
+<p>
+ Lumbermen greedy for gold<br />
+ Over your ruins will caper.<br />
+ Hearken, there&#8217;s worse to be told:<br />
+ You will be made into paper!</p>
+
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_15" id="Page_15">[Pg 15]</a></span>
+ Over your ruins will caper<br />
+ Murderous shavers and hooks.<br />
+ You will be made into paper!<br />
+ You will be made into books!</p>
+
+<p>
+ Murderous shavers and hooks<br />
+ Swiftly your pride will diminish.<br />
+ You will be made into books!<br />
+ Horrible, horrible finish!</p>
+
+<p>
+ Swiftly your pride will diminish.<br />
+ You will become a romance!<br />
+ Horrible, horrible finish!<br />
+ Fate has no sadder mischance.</p>
+
+<p>
+ You will become a romance,<br />
+ Filled with &ldquo;Gadzooks!&rdquo; and &ldquo;Have at you!&rdquo;<br />
+ Fate has no sadder mischance;<br />
+ It would wring tears from a statue.</p>
+
+<p>
+ Filled with &ldquo;Gadzooks!&rdquo; and &ldquo;Have at you!&rdquo;<br />
+ You may become a &ldquo;Lazarre&rdquo;&mdash;<br />
+ (It would wring tears from a statue)&mdash;<br />
+<span style="margin-left: -.3em;">&ldquo;Graustark,&rdquo; &ldquo;Stovepipe of Navarre.&rdquo;</span></p>
+
+<p>
+ You may become a &ldquo;Lazarre&rdquo;;<br />
+ Fate has still worse it can turn on&mdash;<br />
+<span style="margin-left: -.3em;">&ldquo;Graustark,&rdquo; &ldquo;Stovepipe of Navarre,&rdquo;</span><br />
+ Even a &ldquo;Dorothy Vernon&rdquo;!</p>
+
+<p>
+ Fate has still worse it can turn on&mdash;<br />
+ Lower you cannot descend;<br />
+ Even a &ldquo;Dorothy Vernon&rdquo;!&mdash;<br />
+ That is the limit&mdash;the end.</p>
+
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_16" id="Page_16">[Pg 16]</a></span>
+ Lower you cannot descend.<br />
+ Doomed to an end that is evil,<br />
+ That <em>is</em> the limit&mdash;the <em>end</em>!<br />
+ Pride of the forest primeval.</p>
+
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_17" id="Page_17">[Pg 17]</a></span></p>
+<p><strong>IN THE LAMPLIGHT</strong></p>
+
+
+<p>
+ The dinner done, the lamp is lit,<br />
+ And in its mellow glow we sit<br />
+ And talk of matters, grave and gay,<br />
+ That went to make another day.<br />
+ Comes Little One, a book in hand,<br />
+ With this request, nay, this command&mdash;<br />
+ (For who&#8217;d gainsay the little sprite)&mdash;<br />
+<span style="margin-left: -.3em;">&ldquo;Please&mdash;will you read to me to-night?&rdquo;</span></p>
+
+<p>
+ Read to you, Little One? Why, yes.<br />
+ What shall it be to-night? You guess<br />
+ You&#8217;d like to hear about the Bears&mdash;<br />
+ Their bowls of porridge, beds and chairs?<br />
+ Well, that you shall.... There! that tale&#8217;s done!<br />
+ And now&mdash;you&#8217;d like another one?<br />
+ To-morrow evening, Curly Head.<br />
+ It&#8217;s &ldquo;hass-pass seven.&rdquo; Off to bed!</p>
+
+<p>
+ So each night another story:<br />
+ Wicked dwarfs and giants gory;<br />
+ Dragons fierce and princes daring,<br />
+ Forth to fame and fortune faring;<br />
+ Wandering tots, with leaves for bed;<br />
+ Houses made of gingerbread;<br />
+ Witches bad and fairies good,<br />
+ And all the wonders of the wood.</p>
+
+<p>
+<span style="margin-left: -.3em;">&ldquo;I like the witches best,&rdquo; says she</span><br />
+ Who nightly nestles on my knee;<br />
+<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_18" id="Page_18">[Pg 18]</a></span>
+ And why by them she sets such store,<br />
+ Psychologists may puzzle o&#8217;er.<br />
+ Her likes are mine, and I agree<br />
+ With all that she confides to me.<br />
+ And thus we travel, hand in hand,<br />
+ The storied roads of Fairyland.</p>
+
+<p>
+ Ah, Little One, when years have fled,<br />
+ And left their silver on my head,<br />
+ And when the dimming eyes of age<br />
+ With difficulty scan the page,<br />
+ Perhaps <em>I&#8217;ll</em> turn the tables then;<br />
+ Perhaps <em>I&#8217;ll</em> put the question, when<br />
+ I borrow of your better sight&mdash;<br />
+<span style="margin-left: -.3em;">&ldquo;Please&mdash;will you read to me to-night?&rdquo;</span></p>
+
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_19" id="Page_19">[Pg 19]</a></span></p>
+<p><strong>THE BREAKFAST FOOD FAMILY</strong></p>
+
+
+<p>
+ John Spratt will eat no fat,<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">Nor will he touch the lean;</span><br />
+ He scorns to eat of any meat,<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">He lives upon Foodine.</span></p>
+
+<p>
+ But Mrs. Spratt will none of that,<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">Foodine she cannot eat;</span><br />
+ Her special wish is for a dish<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">Of Expurgated Wheat.</span></p>
+
+<p>
+ To William Spratt that food is flat<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">On which his mater dotes.</span><br />
+ His favorite feed&mdash;his special need&mdash;<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">Is Eata Heapa Oats.</span></p>
+
+<p>
+ But sister Lil can&#8217;t see how Will<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">Can touch such tasteless food.</span><br />
+ As breakfast fare it can&#8217;t compare,<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">She says, with Shredded Wood.</span></p>
+
+<p>
+ Now, none of these Leander please,<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">He feeds upon Bath Mitts.</span><br />
+ While sister Jane improves her brain<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">With Cero-Grapo-Grits.</span></p>
+
+<p>
+ Lycurgus votes for Father&#8217;s Oats;<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">Proggine appeals to May;</span><br />
+ The junior John subsists upon<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">Uneeda Bayla Hay.</span></p>
+
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_20" id="Page_20">[Pg 20]</a></span>
+ Corrected Wheat for little Pete;<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">Flaked Pine for Dot; while &ldquo;Bub&rdquo;</span><br />
+ The infant Spratt is waxing fat<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">On Battle Creek Near-Grub.</span></p>
+
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_21" id="Page_21">[Pg 21]</a></span></p>
+<p><strong>&ldquo;TREASURE ISLAND&rdquo;</strong></p>
+
+
+<p>
+ Comes little lady, a book in hand,<br />
+ A light in her eyes that I understand,<br />
+ And her cheeks aglow from the faery breeze<br />
+ That sweeps across the uncharted seas.<br />
+ She gives me the book, and her word of praise<br />
+ A ton of critical thought outweighs.<br />
+<span style="margin-left: -.3em;">&ldquo;I&#8217;ve finished it, daddie!&rdquo;&mdash;a sigh thereat.</span><br />
+<span style="margin-left: -.3em;">&ldquo;Are there any more books in the world like that?&rdquo;</span></p>
+
+<p>
+ No, little lady. I grieve to say<br />
+ That of all the books in the world to-day<br />
+ There&#8217;s not another that&#8217;s quite the same<br />
+ As this magic book with the magic name.<br />
+ Volumes there be that are pure delight,<br />
+ Ancient and yellowed or new and bright;<br />
+ But&mdash;little and thin, or big and fat&mdash;<br />
+ There are no more books in the world like that.</p>
+
+<p>
+ And what, little lady, would I not give<br />
+ For the wonderful world in which you live!<br />
+ What have I garnered one-half as true<br />
+ As the tales Titania whispers you?<br />
+ Ah, late we learn that the only truth<br />
+ Was that which we found in the Book of Youth.<br />
+ Profitless others, and stale, and flat;&mdash;<br />
+ There are no more books in the world like that.</p>
+
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_22" id="Page_22">[Pg 22]</a></span></p>
+<p><strong>A BALLADE OF SPRING&#8217;S UNREST</strong></p>
+
+
+<p>
+ Up in the woodland where Spring<br />
+ Comes as a laggard, the breeze<br />
+ Whispers the pines that the King,<br />
+ Fallen, has yielded the keys<br />
+ To his White Palace and flees<br />
+ Northward o&#8217;er mountain and dale.<br />
+ Speed then the hour that frees!<br />
+ Ho, for the pack and the trail!</p>
+
+<p>
+ Northward my fancy takes wing,<br />
+ Restless am I, ill at ease.<br />
+ Pleasures the city can bring<br />
+ Lose now their power to please.<br />
+ Barren, all barren, are these,<br />
+ Town life&#8217;s a tedious tale;<br />
+ That cup is drained to the lees&mdash;<br />
+ Ho, for the pack and the trail!</p>
+
+<p>
+ Ho, for the morning I sling<br />
+ Pack at my back, and with knees<br />
+ Brushing a thoroughfare, fling<br />
+ Into the green mysteries:<br />
+ One with the birds and the bees,<br />
+ One with the squirrel and quail,<br />
+ Night, and the stream&#8217;s melodies&mdash;<br />
+ Ho, for the pack and the trail!</p>
+
+<p>&nbsp;</p>
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_23" id="Page_23">[Pg 23]</a></span>
+ <span style="margin-left: 3em;"><em>L&#8217;Envoi</em></span></p>
+
+<p>
+ Pictures and music and teas,<br />
+ Theaters&mdash;books even&mdash;stale.<br />
+ Ho, for the smell of the trees!<br />
+ Ho, for the pack and the trail!</p>
+
+
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_24" id="Page_24">[Pg 24]</a></span></p>
+<p><strong>WHY?</strong></p>
+
+
+<p>
+ Why, when the sun is gold,<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">The weather fine,</span><br />
+ The air (this phrase is old)<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">Like Gascon wine;&mdash;</span></p>
+
+<p>
+ Why, when the leaves are red,<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">And yellow, too,</span><br />
+ And when (as has been said)<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">The skies are blue;&mdash;</span></p>
+
+<p>
+ Why, when all things promote<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">One&#8217;s peace and joy,&mdash;</span><br />
+ A joy that is (to quote)<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">Without alloy;&mdash;</span></p>
+
+<p>
+ Why, when a man&#8217;s well off,<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">Happy and gay,</span><br />
+<em>Why</em> must he go play golf<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">And spoil his day!</span></p>
+
+
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_25" id="Page_25">[Pg 25]</a></span></p>
+<p><strong>THE RIME OF THE CLARK STREET CABLE</strong></p>
+
+<p><span style="margin-left: 3em;">(<em>Now happily extinct.</em>)</span></p>
+
+
+<p>
+ Twas in a vault beneath the street,<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">In the trench of the traction rope,</span><br />
+ That I found a guy with a fishy eye<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">And a think tank filled with dope.</span></p>
+
+<p>
+ His hair was matted, his face was black,<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">And matted and black was he;</span><br />
+ And I heard this wight in the vault recite,<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: .7em;">&ldquo;In a singular minor key&rdquo;:</span></p>
+
+<p>
+<span style="margin-left: .3em;">&ldquo;Oh, I am the guy with the fishy eye</span><br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">And the think tank filled with dope.</span><br />
+ My work is to watch the beautiful botch<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">That&#8217;s known as the Clark Street Rope.</span></p>
+
+<p>
+<span style="margin-left: -.3em;">&ldquo;I pipes my eye as the rope goes by</span><br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">For every danger spot.</span><br />
+ If I spies one out I gives a shout,<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">And we puts in another knot.</span></p>
+
+<p>
+<span style="margin-left: -.3em;">&ldquo;Them knots is all like brothers to me,</span><br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">And I loves &#8217;em, one and all.&rdquo;</span><br />
+ The muddy guy with the fishy eye<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">A muddy tear let fall.</span></p>
+
+<p>
+<span style="margin-left: -.3em;">&ldquo;There goes a knot we tied last week,</span><br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">There&#8217;s one what we tied to-day;</span><br />
+ And there&#8217;s a patch was hard to reach,<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">And caused six hours&#8217; delay.</span></p>
+
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_26" id="Page_26">[Pg 26]</a></span>
+<span style="margin-left: -.3em;">&ldquo;Two hundred seventy-nine, all told,</span><br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">And I knows their history;</span><br />
+ And I&#8217;m most attached to a break we patched<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">In the winter of &#8217;eighty-three.</span></p>
+
+<p>
+<span style="margin-left: -.3em;">&ldquo;For every time that knot comes round</span><br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">It sings out, &lsquo;Howdy, Bill!</span><br />
+ We&#8217;ll walk &#8217;em home to-night, old man,<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">From here to the Ferris Wheel.</span></p>
+
+<p>
+<span style="margin-left: -.3em;">&ldquo;&lsquo;We&#8217;ll walk &#8217;em in the rush hours, Bill,</span><br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">A swearing company,</span><br />
+ As we&#8217;ve walked &#8217;em, Bill, since I was tied,<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">In the winter of &#8217;eighty-three.&rsquo;&rdquo;</span></p>
+
+<p>
+ The muddy guy with the fishy eye<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">Let fall another tear.</span><br />
+<span style="margin-left: -.3em;">&ldquo;Them knots is wife and child to me;</span><br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">I&#8217;ve known &#8217;em forty year.</span></p>
+
+<p>
+<span style="margin-left: -.3em;">&ldquo;For I am the guy with the fishy eye</span><br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">And the think tank filled with dope,</span><br />
+ Whose work is to watch the lovely botch<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">That&#8217;s known as the Clark Street Rope.&rdquo;</span></p>
+
+
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_27" id="Page_27">[Pg 27]</a></span></p>
+<p><strong>MISS LEGION</strong></p>
+
+
+<p>
+ She is hotfoot after Cultyure,<br />
+ She pursues it with a club.<br />
+ She breathes a heavy atmosphere<br />
+ Of literary flub.<br />
+ No literary shrine so far<br />
+ But she is there to kneel;<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 3em;">But&mdash;</span><br />
+ Her favorite line of reading<br />
+ Is O. Meredith&#8217;s &ldquo;Lucille.&rdquo;</p>
+
+<p>
+ Of course she&#8217;s up on pictures&mdash;<br />
+ Passes for a connoisseur.<br />
+ On free days at the Institute<br />
+ You&#8217;ll always notice her.<br />
+ She qualifies approval<br />
+ Of a Titian or Corot;<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 3em;">But&mdash;</span><br />
+ She throws a fit of rapture<br />
+ When she comes to Bouguereau.</p>
+
+<p>
+ And when you talk of music,<br />
+ She is Music&#8217;s devotee.<br />
+ She will tell you that Beethoven<br />
+ Always makes her wish to pray;<br />
+ And &ldquo;dear old Bach!&rdquo; His very name<br />
+ She says, her ear enchants;<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 3em;">But&mdash;</span><br />
+ Her favorite piece is Weber&#8217;s<br />
+<span style="margin-left: -.3em;">&ldquo;Invitation to the Dance.&rdquo;</span></p>
+
+
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_28" id="Page_28">[Pg 28]</a></span></p>
+<p><strong>A BALLADE OF DEATH AND TIME</strong></p>
+
+
+<p>
+ I hold it truth with him who sweetly sings&mdash;<br />
+ The weekly music of the <em>London Sphere</em>&mdash;<br />
+ That deathless tomes the living present brings:<br />
+ Great literature is with us year on year.<br />
+ Books of the mighty dead, whom men revere,<br />
+ Remind me I can make <em>my</em> books sublime.<br />
+ But prithee, bay my brow while I am here:<br />
+ Why do we always wait for Death and Time?</p>
+
+<p>
+ Shakespeare, great spirit, beat his mighty wings,<br />
+ As I beat mine, for the occasion near.<br />
+ He knew, as I, the worth of present things:<br />
+ Great literature is with us year on year.<br />
+ Methinks I meet across the gulf his clear<br />
+ And tranquil eye; his calm reflections chime<br />
+ With mine: &ldquo;Why do we at the present fleer?<br />
+ Why do we always wait for Death and Time?&rdquo;</p>
+
+<p>
+ The reading world with acclamation rings<br />
+ For my last book. It led the list at Weir,<br />
+ Altoona, Rahway, Painted Post, Hot Springs:<br />
+ Great literature is with us year on year.<br />
+ The <em>Bookman</em> gives me a vociferous cheer.<br />
+ Howells approves! I can no higher climb.<br /><br />
+ Bring then the laurel, crown my bright career.<br />
+ Why do we always wait for Death and Time?</p>
+
+<p>&nbsp;</p>
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_29" id="Page_29">[Pg 29]</a></span>
+ <span style="margin-left: 3em;"><em>L&#8217;Envoi</em></span></p>
+
+<p>
+ Critics, who pastward, ever pastward peer,<br />
+ Great literature is with us year on year.<br />
+ Trumpet my fame while I am in my prime.<br />
+ Why do we always wait for Death and Time?</p>
+
+
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_30" id="Page_30">[Pg 30]</a></span></p>
+<p><strong>THE KAISER&#8217;S FAREWELL TO PRINCE HENRY</strong></p>
+
+
+<p>
+ Aufwiedersehen, brother mine!<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">Farewells will soon be kissed;</span><br />
+ And ere you leave to breast the brine<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">Give me once more your fist;</span></p>
+
+<p>
+ That mail&eacute;d fist, clenched high in air<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">On many a foreign shore,</span><br />
+ Enforcing coaling stations where<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">No stations were before;</span></p>
+
+<p>
+ That fist, which weaker nations view<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">As if &#8217;twere Michael&#8217;s own,</span><br />
+ And which appals the heathen who<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">Bow down to wood and stone.</span></p>
+
+<p>
+ But this trip no brass knuckles. Glove<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">That heavy mail&eacute;d hand;</span><br />
+ Your mission now is one of Love<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">And Peace&mdash;you understand.</span></p>
+
+<p>
+ All that&#8217;s American you&#8217;ll praise;<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">The Yank can do no wrong.</span><br />
+ To use his own expressive phrase,<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">Just &ldquo;jolly him along.&rdquo;</span></p>
+
+<p>
+ Express surprise to find, the more<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">Of Roosevelt you see,</span><br />
+ How much I am like Theodore,<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">And Theodore like me.</span></p>
+
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_31" id="Page_31">[Pg 31]</a></span>
+ I am, in fact, (this might not be<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">A bad thing to suggest,)</span><br />
+ The Theodore of the East, and he<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">The William of the West.</span></p>
+
+<p>
+ And, should you get a chance, find out&mdash;<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">If anybody knows&mdash;</span><br />
+ Exactly what it&#8217;s all about,<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">That Doctrine of Monroe&#8217;s.</span></p>
+
+<p>
+ That&#8217;s <em>entre nous</em>. My present plan<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">You know as well as I:</span><br />
+ Be just as Yankee as you can;<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">If needs be, eat some pie.</span></p>
+
+<p>
+ Cut out the &#8217;kraut, cut out Rhine wine,<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">Cut out the Sch&uuml;tzenfest,</span><br />
+ The S&auml;ngerbund, the Turnverein,<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">The Kommers, and the rest.</span></p>
+
+<p>
+ And if some fool society<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: .7em;">&ldquo;Die Wacht am Rhein&rdquo; should sing,</span><br />
+<em>You</em> sing &ldquo;My Country, &#8217;Tis of Thee&rdquo;&mdash;<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">The tune&#8217;s &ldquo;God Save the King.&rdquo;</span></p>
+
+<p>
+ To our own kindred in that land<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">There&#8217;s not much you need tell.</span><br />
+ Just tell them that you saw me, and<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">That I was looking well.</span></p>
+
+
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_32" id="Page_32">[Pg 32]</a></span></p>
+<p><strong>TO LILLIAN RUSSELL</strong></p>
+
+<p><span style="margin-left: 3em;">(<em>A reminiscence of 18&mdash;.</em>)</span></p>
+
+
+<p>
+ Dear Lillian! (The &ldquo;dear&rdquo; one risks;<br />
+<span style="margin-left: -.3em;">&ldquo;Miss Russell&rdquo; were a bit austerer)&mdash;</span><br />
+ Do you remember Mr. Fiske&#8217;s<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 2em;"><em>Dramatic Mirror</em></span></p>
+
+<p>
+ Back when&mdash;? (But we&#8217;ll not count the years;<br />
+ The way they&#8217;ve sped is most surprising.)<br />
+ You were a trifle in arrears<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 2em;">For advertising.</span></p>
+
+<p>
+ I brought the bill to your address;<br />
+ I was the <em>Mirror&#8217;s</em> bill collector&mdash;<br />
+ In Thespian haunts a more or less<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 2em;">Familiar spectre.</span></p>
+
+<p>
+ On that (to me) momentous day<br />
+ You dwelt amid the city&#8217;s clatter,<br />
+ A few doors west of old Broadway;<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 2em;">The street&mdash;no matter.</span></p>
+
+<p>
+ But while you have forgot the debt,<br />
+ And him who called in line of duty,<br />
+ He never, never shall forget<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 2em;">Your wondrous beauty.</span></p>
+
+<p>
+ You were too fair for mortal speech,&mdash;<br />
+ Enchanting, positively rippin&#8217;;<br />
+ You were some dream, and quelque peach,<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 2em;">And beaucoup pippin.</span></p>
+
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_33" id="Page_33">[Pg 33]</a></span>
+ Your &ldquo;fight with Time&rdquo; had not begun,<br />
+ Nor any reason to promote it;<br />
+ No beauty battles to be won.<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 2em;">Beauty? You wrote it!</span></p>
+
+<p>
+<span style="margin-left: -.3em;">&ldquo;A bill?&rdquo; you murmured in distress,</span><br />
+<span style="margin-left: -.3em;">&ldquo;A bill?&rdquo; (I still can hear you say it.)</span><br />
+<span style="margin-left: -.3em;">&ldquo;A bill from Mr. Fiske? Oh, yes ...</span><br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 2em;">I&#8217;ll call and pay it.&rdquo;</span></p>
+
+<p>
+ And he, the thrice-requited kid,<br />
+ That such a goddess should address him,<br />
+ Could only blush and paw his lid,<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 2em;">And stammer, &ldquo;Yes&#8217;m!&rdquo;</span></p>
+
+<p>
+ Eheu! It seems a cycle since,<br />
+ But still the nerve of memory tingles.<br />
+ And here you&#8217;re writing Beauty Hints,<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 2em;">And I these jingles.</span></p>
+
+
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_34" id="Page_34">[Pg 34]</a></span></p>
+<p><strong>DORNR&Ouml;SCHEN</strong></p>
+
+
+<p>
+ In the great hall of Castle Innocence,<br />
+ Hedged round with thorns of maiden doubts and fears,&mdash;<br />
+ Within, without, a silence grave, intense,&mdash;<br />
+ Her soul lies sleeping through the rose-leaf years.</p>
+
+<p>
+ Hedged round with thorns of maiden doubts and fears;<br />
+ And all save one the thither path shall miss.<br />
+ Her soul lies sleeping through the rose-leaf years,<br />
+ Waiting the Prince and his awakening kiss.</p>
+
+<p>
+ And all save one the thither path shall miss;<br />
+ For one alone may thread the thorn defence.<br />
+ Waiting the Prince and his awakening kiss,<br />
+ A hush broods over Castle Innocence.</p>
+
+<p>
+ For one alone may thread the thorn defence,<br />
+ Care free, heart free, and singing on his way.<br />
+ A hush broods over Castle Innocence<br />
+ One comes to wake;&mdash;but when&mdash;ah, who can say!</p>
+
+<p>
+ Care free, heart free, and singing on his way,<br />
+ One comes all thorns of Fear and Doubt to dare.<br />
+ One comes to wake! But when? Ah, who can say<br />
+ The hour his light feet press the castle stair?</p>
+
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_35" id="Page_35">[Pg 35]</a></span>
+ One comes all thorns of Fear and Doubt to dare!<br />
+ Thorns with his coming into roses bloom.<br />
+ The hour his light feet press the castle stair<br />
+ The warders of the castle hall give room.</p>
+
+<p>
+ Thorns with his coming into roses bloom;<br />
+ For him the flowers of Trust and Faith unfold.<br />
+ The warders of the castle hall give room<br />
+ Before the young Prince of the Heart of Gold.</p>
+
+<p>
+ For him the flowers of Trust and Faith unfold;<br />
+ Till then the thorns of maiden doubts and fears.<br />
+ Before the young Prince of the Heart of Gold<br />
+ Her rose-soul slumbers through the tranquil years.</p>
+
+<p>
+ Till then the thorns of maiden doubts and fears.<br />
+ Within, without, a silence grave, intense.<br />
+ Her rose-soul slumbers through the tranquil years<br />
+ In the great hall of Castle Innocence.</p>
+
+
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_36" id="Page_36">[Pg 36]</a></span></p>
+<p><strong>&ldquo;FAREWELL!&rdquo;</strong></p>
+
+<p><span style="margin-left: 3em;">(<em>Evoked by Calverley&#8217;s &ldquo;Forever.&rdquo;</em>)</span></p>
+
+
+<p>
+<span style="margin-left: -.3em;">&ldquo;Farewell!&rdquo; Another gloomy word</span><br />
+ As ever into language crept.<br />
+<span style="margin-left: -.3em;">&#8217;Tis often written, never heard</span><br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 2em;">Except</span></p>
+
+<p>
+ In playhouse. Ere the hero flits<br />
+ (In handcuffs) from our pitying view,<br />
+<span style="margin-left: -.3em;">&ldquo;Farewell!&rdquo; he murmurs, then exits</span><br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 2em;">R. U.</span></p>
+
+<p>
+<span style="margin-left: -.3em;">&ldquo;Farewell!&rdquo; is much too sighful for</span><br />
+ An age that has not time to sigh.<br />
+ We say, &ldquo;I&#8217;ll see you later,&rdquo; or<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 2em;">&ldquo;Good-bye!&rdquo;</span></p>
+
+<p>
+<span style="margin-left: -.3em;">&ldquo;Fare well&rdquo; meant long ago, before</span><br />
+ It crept tear-spattered into song,<br />
+<span style="margin-left: -.3em;">&ldquo;Safe voyage!&rdquo; &ldquo;Pleasant journey!&rdquo; or</span><br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 2em;">&ldquo;So long!&rdquo;</span></p>
+
+<p>
+ But gone its cheery, old-time ring:<br />
+ The poets made it rime with knell.<br />
+ Joined, it became a dismal thing&mdash;<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 2em;">&ldquo;Farewell!&rdquo;</span></p>
+
+<p>
+<span style="margin-left: -.3em;">&ldquo;Farewell!&rdquo; Into the lover&#8217;s soul</span><br />
+ You see fate plunge the cruel iron.<br />
+ All poets use it. It&#8217;s the whole<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 2em;">Of Byron.</span></p>
+
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_37" id="Page_37">[Pg 37]</a></span>
+<span style="margin-left: -.3em;">&ldquo;I only feel&mdash;farewell!&rdquo; said he;</span><br />
+ And always tearful was the telling.<br />
+ Lord Byron was eternally<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 2em;">Farewelling.</span></p>
+
+<p>
+<span style="margin-left: -.3em;">&ldquo;Farewell!&rdquo; A dismal word, &#8217;tis true.</span><br />
+ (And why not tell the truth about it?)<br />
+ But what on earth would poets do<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 2em;">Without it!</span></p>
+
+
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_38" id="Page_38">[Pg 38]</a></span></p>
+<p><strong>REFORM IN OUR TOWN</strong></p>
+
+
+<p>
+ There was a man in Our Town<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">And Jimson was his name,</span><br />
+ Who cried, &ldquo;Our civic government<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">Is honeycombed with shame.&rdquo;</span><br />
+ He called us neighbors in and said,<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: .7em;">&ldquo;By Graft we&#8217;re overrun.</span><br />
+ Let&#8217;s have a general cleaning up,<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">As other towns have done.&rdquo;</span></p>
+
+<p>
+ The citizens of Our Town<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">Responded to the call;</span><br />
+ Beneath the banner of Reform<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">We gathered one and all.</span><br />
+ We sent away for men expert<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">In hunting civic sin,</span><br />
+ To ask these practised gentlemen<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">Just how we should begin.</span></p>
+
+<p>
+ The experts came to Our Town<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">And told us how &#8217;twas done.</span><br />
+<span style="margin-left: -.3em;">&ldquo;Begin with Gas and Traction,</span><br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">And half your fight is won.</span><br />
+ Begin with Gas and Traction;<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">The rest will follow soon.&rdquo;</span><br />
+ We looked at one another<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">And hummed a different tune.</span></p>
+
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_39" id="Page_39">[Pg 39]</a></span>
+ Said Smith, &ldquo;Saloons in Our Town<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">Are palaces of shame.&rdquo;</span><br />
+ Said Jones, &ldquo;Police corruption<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">Has hurt the town&#8217;s fair name.&rdquo;</span><br />
+ Said Brown, &ldquo;Our lawless children<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">Pitch pennies as they please.&rdquo;</span><br />
+ Now would it not be wiser<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">To start Reform with these?</span></p>
+
+<p>
+ The men who came to Our Town<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">Replied, &ldquo;No haste with these;</span><br />
+ Begin with Gas&mdash;or Water&mdash;<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">The roots of the disease.&rdquo;</span><br />
+ We looked at one another<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">And hemmed and hawed a bit;</span><br />
+ Enthusiasm faded then<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">From every single cit.</span></p>
+
+<p>
+ The men who came to Our Town<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">Expressed a mild surprise,</span><br />
+ Then they too at each other<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">Looked &ldquo;with a wild surmise.&rdquo;</span><br />
+ Jimson had stock in Traction,<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">And Jones had stock in Gas,</span><br />
+ And Smith and Brown in this and that,<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">So&mdash;nothing came to pass.</span></p>
+
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_40" id="Page_40">[Pg 40]</a></span>
+ The profligates of Our Town<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">Pitch pennies as of yore;</span><br />
+ Police corruption flourishes<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">As rankly as before,</span><br />
+ Still are our gilded ginmills<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">Foul palaces of shame.</span><br />
+ Reform is just as distant<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">As when the wise men came.</span></p>
+
+
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_41" id="Page_41">[Pg 41]</a></span></p>
+<p><strong>WHEN THE SIRUP&#8217;S ON THE FLAPJACK</strong></p>
+
+
+<p>
+ When the sirup&#8217;s on the flapjack and the coffee&#8217;s in the pot;<br />
+ When the fly is in the butter&mdash;where he&#8217;d rather be than not;<br />
+ When the cloth is on the table, and the plates are on the cloth;<br />
+ When the salt is in the shaker and the chicken&#8217;s in the broth;<br />
+ When the cream is in the pitcher and the pitcher&#8217;s on the tray,<br />
+ And the tray is on the sideboard when it isn&#8217;t on the way;<br />
+ When the rind is on the bacon and likewise upon the cheese,<br />
+ Then I somehow feel inspired to do a string of rimes like these.</p>
+
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_42" id="Page_42">[Pg 42]</a></span></p>
+<p><strong>BREAD PUDDYNGE</strong></p>
+
+
+<p>
+ When good King Arthur ruled our land<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">He was a goodly king,</span><br />
+ And his idea of what to eat<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">Was a good bag puddynge.</span></p>
+
+<p>
+ The bag puddynge he had in mind<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">Was thickly strewn with plums,</span><br />
+ With alternating lumps of fat<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">As big as my two thumbs.</span></p>
+
+<p>
+<span style="margin-left: -.3em;">&ldquo;My love,&rdquo; quoth he to Guinevere,</span><br />
+ <span style="margin-left: .7em;">&ldquo;We have a joust to-day&mdash;</span><br />
+ Sir Launce is here, Sir Tris, Sir Gal,<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">And all the brave array.</span></p>
+
+<p>
+<span style="margin-left: -.3em;">&ldquo;Put everything across to-night</span><br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">In guise of goodly fare,</span><br />
+ And cook us up a bag puddynge<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">That will y-curl our hair.&rdquo;</span></p>
+
+<p>
+<span style="margin-left: -.3em;">&ldquo;I&#8217;ll curl your hair,&rdquo; said Guinevere,</span><br />
+ <span style="margin-left: .7em;">&ldquo;As tight as tight can be;</span><br />
+ I&#8217;ll cook you up a bag puddynge<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">From my new recipee.&rdquo;</span></p>
+
+<hr style='margin-left: 3em; width: 15%;' />
+
+<p>
+<span style="margin-left: -.3em;">&ldquo;Pitch in and eat, my merry men!&rdquo;</span><br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">That night the King did say;</span><br />
+<span style="margin-left: -.3em;">&ldquo;But save a little room&mdash;a bag</span><br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">Puddynge is on the way.</span></p>
+
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_43" id="Page_43">[Pg 43]</a></span>
+<span style="margin-left: -.3em;">&ldquo;Ho! here it comes! Now, by my sword,</span><br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">A famous feast &#8217;twill be.</span><br />
+ Queen Guinevere hath cooked it, Launce,<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">From her own recipee.&rdquo;</span></p>
+
+<p>
+<span style="margin-left: -.3em;">&ldquo;Odslife!&rdquo; cried Launce, &ldquo;if there is aught</span><br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">I love &#8217;tis this same thing.&rdquo;</span><br />
+ And he and all the knights did fall<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">Upon that bag puddynge.</span></p>
+
+<p>
+ One taste, and every holy knight<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">Sat speechless for a space,</span><br />
+ While disappointment and disgust<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">Were writ in every face.</span></p>
+
+<p>
+<span style="margin-left: -.3em;">&ldquo;Odsbodikins!&rdquo; Sir Tristram cried,</span><br />
+ <span style="margin-left: .7em;">&ldquo;In all my days, by Jing!</span><br />
+ I ne&#8217;er did taste so flat a mess<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">As this here bag puddynge.&rdquo;</span></p>
+
+<p>
+<span style="margin-left: -.3em;">&ldquo;Odswhiskers, Arthur!&rdquo; cried Sir Launce,</span><br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">Whose license knew no bounds,</span><br />
+<span style="margin-left: -.3em;">&ldquo;I would to Godde I had this stuff</span><br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">To poultice up my wounds.&rdquo;</span></p>
+
+<p>
+ King Arthur spat his mouthful out,<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">And sent for Guinevere.</span><br />
+<span style="margin-left: -.3em;">&ldquo;What is this frightful mess?&rdquo; he roared.</span><br />
+ <span style="margin-left: .7em;">&ldquo;Is this a joke, my dear?&rdquo;</span></p>
+
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_44" id="Page_44">[Pg 44]</a></span>
+<span style="margin-left: -.3em;">&ldquo;Oh, ain&#8217;t it good?&rdquo; asked Guinevere,</span><br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">Her face a rosy red.</span><br />
+<span style="margin-left: -.3em;">&ldquo;I thought &#8217;twould make an awful hit:</span><br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;"><em>I made it out of bread!</em>&rdquo;</span></p>
+
+<hr style='margin-left: 3em; width: 15%;' />
+
+<p>
+ When good King Arthur ruled our land<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">He was a goodly king,</span><br />
+ And only once in all his reign<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">Was made a Bread Puddynge.</span></p>
+
+
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_45" id="Page_45">[Pg 45]</a></span></p>
+<p><strong>MUSCA DOMESTICA</strong></p>
+
+
+<p>
+ Baby bye, here&#8217;s a fly,<br />
+ We will watch him, you and I;<br />
+ Lest he fall in Baby&#8217;s mouth,<br />
+ Bringing germs from north and south.<br />
+ In the world of things a-wing<br />
+ There is not a nastier thing<br />
+ Than this pesky little fly;&mdash;<br />
+ So we&#8217;ll watch him, you and I.</p>
+
+<p>
+ See him crawl up the wall,<br />
+ And he&#8217;ll never, never fall;<br />
+ Save that, poisoned, he may drop<br />
+ In the soup or on the chop.<br />
+ Let us coax the cunning brute<br />
+ To the tempting Tanglefoot,<br />
+ Or invite his thirsty soul<br />
+ To the poison-paper bowl.</p>
+
+<p>
+ I believe with six such legs<br />
+ You or I could walk on eggs;<br />
+ But he&#8217;d rather crawl on meat<br />
+ With his microbe-laden feet.<br />
+ Eggs would hardly do as well&mdash;<br />
+ He could not get through the shell;<br />
+ Better far, to spread disease,<br />
+ Vegetables, meat, or cheese.</p>
+
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_46" id="Page_46">[Pg 46]</a></span>
+ There he goes, on his toes,<br />
+ Tickling, tickling Baby&#8217;s nose.<br />
+ Heaven knows where he has been,<br />
+ And what filth he&#8217;s wallowed in.<br />
+ Drat the nasty little wretch!<br />
+ He&#8217;s the deuce and all to ketch.<br />
+ Ah! He&#8217;s settled on the wall.<br />
+ Now the thunderbolt shall fall!</p>
+
+<p>
+ Baby bye, see that fly?<br />
+ We will swat him, you and I.</p>
+
+
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_47" id="Page_47">[Pg 47]</a></span></p>
+<p><strong>THE PASSIONATE PROFESSOR</strong></p>
+
+<p style="margin-left: 3em;">
+<span style="margin-left: -.3em;">&ldquo;<em>But bending low, I whisper only this:</em></span><br />
+ <em>&lsquo;Love, it is night.&rsquo;</em>&rdquo;<br />
+<span style="margin-left: 5em;" class="smcap">&mdash;Harry Thurston Peck.</span></p>
+
+
+<p>
+ Love, it is night. The orb of day<br />
+ Has gone to hit the cosmic hay.<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">Nocturnal voices now we hear.</span><br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">Come, heart&#8217;s delight, the hour is near</span><br />
+ When Passion&#8217;s mandate we obey.</p>
+
+<p>
+ I would not, sweet, the fact convey<br />
+ In any crude and obvious way:<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">I merely whisper in your ear&mdash;</span><br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 5em;">&ldquo;Love, it is night!&rdquo;</span></p>
+
+<p>
+ Candor compels me, pet, to say<br />
+ That years my fading charms betray.<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">Tho&#8217; Love be blind, I grant it&#8217;s clear</span><br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">I&#8217;m no Apollo Belvedere.</span><br />
+ But after dark all cats are gray.<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 5em;">Love, it is night!</span></p>
+
+
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_48" id="Page_48">[Pg 48]</a></span></p>
+<p><strong>A BALLADE OF WOOL-GATHERING</strong></p>
+
+
+<p>
+ Now is my season of unrest,<br />
+ Now calls the forest, day and night;<br />
+ And by its pleasant spell obsessed,<br />
+ My wits go soaring like a kite.<br />
+ Forgive me if I be not bright,<br />
+ And pardon if I seem distrait;<br />
+ Wood-fancies put my wits to flight;&mdash;<br />
+ The woods are but a week away.</p>
+
+<p>
+ Palleth upon my soul the jest,<br />
+ Falleth upon my pen a blight.<br />
+ The daily task has lost its zest,<br />
+ And everything is flat and trite.<br />
+ There&#8217;s nothing humorous in sight;<br />
+ Don&#8217;t mind if I am dull to-day.<br />
+ For every column is a fight<br />
+ When woods are but a week away.</p>
+
+<p>
+ Woods in the robes of summer dressed&mdash;<br />
+ In greens and grays and browns bedight!<br />
+ A journey on a river&#8217;s breast,<br />
+ Beneath the wedded blue-and-white!...<br />
+ This end the Voyage of Delight<br />
+ Waits, in a little wood-bound bay,<br />
+ A bark canoe, all trim and tight;&mdash;<br />
+ The woods are but a week away!</p>
+
+<p>&nbsp;</p>
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_49" id="Page_49">[Pg 49]</a></span>
+ <span style="margin-left: 3em;"><em>L&#8217;Envoi</em></span></p>
+
+<p>
+ Dear Reader, there is much to write;<br />
+ I&#8217;ve many weighty things to say.<br />
+ But who can write when woods invite,<br />
+ And woods are but a week away!</p>
+
+
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_50" id="Page_50">[Pg 50]</a></span></p>
+<p><strong>TO THE SUN</strong></p>
+
+<p><span style="margin-left: 3em;">(<em>Variations on a theme by Gilbert.</em>)</span></p>
+
+
+<p>
+ Shine on, Old Top, shine on!<br />
+ Across the realms of space<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 2em;">Shine on!</span><br />
+ What though I&#8217;m in a sorry case?<br />
+ What though my collar is a wreck,<br />
+ And hangs a rag about my neck?<br />
+ What though at food I can but peck?<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">Never <em>you</em> mind!</span><br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 2em;">Shine on!</span></p>
+
+<p>
+ Shine on, Old Top, shine on!<br />
+ Through leagues of lifeless air<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 2em;">Shine on!</span><br />
+ It&#8217;s true I&#8217;ve no more shirts to wear,<br />
+ My underwear is soaked, &#8217;tis true,<br />
+ My gullet is a redhot flue&mdash;<br />
+ But don&#8217;t let that unsettle you!<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">Never <em>you</em> mind!</span><br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 2em;">Shine on!</span> <span style="margin-left: 3em;">[<em>It shines on.</em>]</span></p>
+
+
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_51" id="Page_51">[Pg 51]</a></span></p>
+<p><strong>WHEN IT IS HOT</strong></p>
+
+<p>&ldquo;<em>And Nebuchadnezzar commanded the most mighty men
+that were in his army to bind Shadrach, Meshach, and Abed-nego,
+and to cast them into the burning fiery furnace.</em>&rdquo;</p>
+
+
+<p>
+ Consider Mr. Shadrach,<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">Of fiery furnace fame:</span><br />
+ He didn&#8217;t bleat about the heat<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">Or fuss about the flame.</span><br />
+ He didn&#8217;t stew and worry,<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">And get his nerves in kinks,</span><br />
+ Nor fill his skin with limes and gin<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">And other &ldquo;cooling drinks.&rdquo;</span></p>
+
+<p>
+ Consider Mr. Meshach,<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">Who felt the furnace too:</span><br />
+ He let it sizz nor queried &ldquo;Is<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">It hot enough for you?&rdquo;</span><br />
+ He didn&#8217;t mop his forehead,<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">And hunt a shady spot;</span><br />
+ Nor did he say, &ldquo;Gee! what a day!<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">Believe me, it&#8217;s some hot.&rdquo;</span></p>
+
+<p>
+ Consider, too, Abed-nego,<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">Who shared his comrades&#8217; plight:</span><br />
+ He didn&#8217;t shake his coat and make<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">Himself a holy sight.</span><br />
+ He didn&#8217;t wear suspenders<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">Without a coat and vest;</span><br />
+ Nor did he scowl and snort and howl,<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">And make himself a pest.</span></p>
+
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_52" id="Page_52">[Pg 52]</a></span>
+ Consider, friends, this trio&mdash;<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">How little fuss they made.</span><br />
+ They didn&#8217;t curse when it was worse<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">Than ninety in the shade.</span><br />
+ They moved about serenely<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">Within the furnace bright,</span><br />
+ And soon forgot that it was hot,<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">With &ldquo;no relief in sight.&rdquo;</span></p>
+
+
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_53" id="Page_53">[Pg 53]</a></span></p>
+<p><strong>THE SIMPLE, HEARTFELT LAY</strong></p>
+
+
+<p>
+ Lives of poets oft remind us<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">Not to wait too long for Time,</span><br />
+ But, departing, leave behind us<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">Obvious facts embalmed in rime.</span></p>
+
+<p>
+ Poems that we have to ponder<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">Turn us prematurely gray;</span><br />
+ We are infinitely fonder<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">Of the simple, heartfelt lay.</span></p>
+
+<p>
+ Whitman&#8217;s <em>Leaves of Grass</em> is odious,<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">Browning&#8217;s <em>Ring and Book</em> a bore.</span><br />
+ Bleat, O bards, in lines melodious,&mdash;<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">Bleat that two and two is four!</span></p>
+
+<p>
+ Must we hunt for hidden treasures?<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">Nay! We want the heartfelt straight.</span><br />
+ Minstrel, sing, in obvious measures&mdash;<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">Sing that four and four is eight!</span></p>
+
+<p>
+ Whitman leads to easy slumbers,<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">Browning makes us hunt the hay.</span><br />
+ Pipe, ye potes, in simplest numbers,<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">Anything ye have to say.</span></p>
+
+
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_54" id="Page_54">[Pg 54]</a></span></p>
+<p><strong>Q&middot;HORATIVS&middot;FLACCUS<br />
+B&middot; L&middot; T&middot;SVO&middot;SALVTEM</strong></p>
+
+
+<p>
+ HAEC&middot;CARMINA&middot;MI&middot;VETVLE&middot;QVAE<br />
+ ME&middot;IVVENE&middot;PARVM&middot;DILIGENTER<br />
+ COMPOSITA&middot;EXCIDERVNT&middot;SENEX<br />
+ REFICIENDA&middot;LIMANDAQVE&middot;IAM<br />
+ DVDVM&middot;EXISTIMO&middot;QVOD&middot;NVNC<br />
+ DEMVM&middot;FACTVM&middot;EST&middot;MIRARIS<br />
+ FORTASSE&middot;CVR&middot;ANGLICE&middot;RE<br />
+ SCRIPSERIM&middot;DESINES&middot;MIRARI<br />
+ CVM&middot;DIXERO&middot;SINE&middot;FVCO&middot;OPOR<br />
+ TERE&middot;POETA&middot;ETIAM&middot;VIVVS&middot;NON<br />
+ SOLVM&middot;ACCOMMODEM&middot;MEA&middot;OPERA<br />
+ AD&middot;NORMAM&middot;RECENTIORVM&middot;TEM<br />
+ PORVM&middot;SED&middot;ETIAM&middot;VTAR&middot;NEMPE<br />
+ EA&middot;LINGVA&middot;QVAE&middot;MAIORE&middot;RE<br />
+ SILIENDI&middot;VT&middot;ITA&middot;DICAM&middot;VI<br />
+ PRAEDITA&middot;VIDEATVR&middot;VELIM<br />
+ SINT&middot;NOVI&middot;VERSVS&middot;TIBI&middot;MVL<br />
+ TO&middot;IVCVNDIORES&middot;QVAM&middot;PRIS<br />
+ CA&middot;EXEMPLA</p>
+
+<p>
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">SCRIBEBAM&middot;HELNGON</span><br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 2em;"><span style="text-decoration: overline;">XVII</span>&middot;KAL&middot;DEC</span></p>
+
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_55" id="Page_55">[Pg 55]</a></span></p>
+<p><strong>A NOTE FROM MR. FLACCUS</strong></p>
+
+<p><span style="margin-left: 3em;">(<em>Concerning the verses that follow.</em>)</span></p>
+
+
+<p>Dear B. L. T.:</p>
+
+<p>You know my &ldquo;pomes.&rdquo; Well, old man, I
+was pretty young when I got them out of my system,
+and they seem rather raw to me now&mdash;I&#8217;m
+getting along, you know; so I&#8217;ve been thinking
+that I&#8217;d do &#8217;em over again, file &#8217;em down, as we
+used to say. Enclosed is the result of my labors.</p>
+
+<p>I presume you are wondering why I have
+done them into United States; but you know perfectly
+well that a poet as much alive as I am to-day
+must not only keep up with the procession, but
+choose a thought-vehicle that has good springs
+to it&mdash;&ldquo;beaucoup resiliency,&rdquo; I s&#8217;pose you&#8217;d call it.</p>
+
+<p>I hope you will like these new lines of mine
+better than their prototypes.</p>
+
+<p><span style="margin-left: 5em;">Yours regardfully,</span><br />
+<span style="margin-left: 12em;">Q. H. F.</span><br />
+<em>Helngon, November 15.</em></p>
+
+
+
+<hr style="width: 15%;" />
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_56" id="Page_56">[Pg 56]</a></span></p>
+<p style="margin-left: 5em;"><strong>I</strong></p>
+
+<p><strong>TO ARISTIUS FUSCUS</strong></p>
+
+<p><span style="margin-left: 3em;">&ldquo;<em>Integer vit&aelig; scelerisque purus.</em>&rdquo;</span></p>
+
+
+<p>
+ Fuscus, old scout, if a guy&#8217;s on the level<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">That&#8217;s all the arsenal he&#8217;ll have to tote;</span><br />
+ Up to St. Peter or down to the Devil,<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">No need to carry a gun in his coat.</span></p>
+
+<p>
+ Prowling around, as you know is my habit,<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">I met a wolf in the forest, and he</span><br />
+ Beat it for Wolfville and ran like a rabbit.<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">(He was some wolf, too, receive it from me.)</span></p>
+
+<p>
+ Where I may happen to camp is no matter,&mdash;<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">Paris, Chicago, Ostend or St. Joe,&mdash;</span><br />
+ Like the old dame in the nursery patter<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">I shall make music wherever I go.</span></p>
+
+<p>
+ Drop me in Dawson or chuck me in Cadiz,<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">Dump me in Kansas or plant me in Rome,&mdash;</span><br />
+ I shall keep on making love to the ladies:<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">Where there&#8217;s a skirt is my notion of home.</span></p>
+
+
+
+
+<p>&nbsp;</p>
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_57" id="Page_57">[Pg 57]</a></span></p>
+<p style="margin-left: 5em;"><strong>II</strong></p>
+
+<p><strong>DUETTO</strong></p>
+
+<p><span style="margin-left: 3em;">&ldquo;<em>Donec gratus eram.</em>&rdquo;</span></p>
+
+
+<p>
+ <span style="margin-left: 5em;">HORACE:</span><br />
+ What time my Lydia owned me lord<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">No Persian king had much on Horace;</span><br />
+ And when you blew my bed and board<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">I was some sad, believe me, Mawruss.</span></p>
+
+<p>
+ <span style="margin-left: 5em;">LYDIA:</span><br />
+ What time you loved no other She,<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">Before this Chlo&euml; person signed you,</span><br />
+ I flourished like a green bay tree;<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">Now I&#8217;m the Girl You Left Behind You.</span></p>
+
+<p>
+ <span style="margin-left: 5em;">HORACE:</span><br />
+ This Chlo&euml; dame that takes my eye<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">Has so peculiar an allurance</span><br />
+ I would not hesitate to die<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">If she could cop my life insurance.</span></p>
+
+<p>
+ <span style="margin-left: 5em;">LYDIA:</span><br />
+ Well, as for that, I know a gent<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">With whom it&#8217;s some delight to dally.</span><br />
+ With me he makes an awful dent;<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">I&#8217;d perish once or twice for Cally.</span></p>
+
+<p>
+ <span style="margin-left: 5em;">HORACE:</span><br />
+ Suppose our former love should go<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">Into a new de luxe edition?</span><br />
+ Suppose I tie a can to Chlo,<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">And let you play your old position?</span></p>
+
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_58" id="Page_58">[Pg 58]</a></span>
+ <span style="margin-left: 5em;">LYDIA:</span><br />
+ Why, then, you cork, you butterfly,<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">You sweet, philandering, perjured villain,</span><br />
+ With you I&#8217;d love to live and die,<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">Tho&#8217; Cally boy were twice as killin&#8217;.</span></p>
+
+
+
+
+<p>&nbsp;</p>
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_59" id="Page_59">[Pg 59]</a></span></p>
+<p><strong><span style="margin-left: 5em;">III</span></strong></p>
+
+<p><strong>TO PYRRHA</strong></p>
+
+<p><span style="margin-left: 3em;">&ldquo;<em>Quis multa gracilis.</em>&rdquo;</span></p>
+
+
+<p>
+ What young tin whistle gent,<br />
+ Bedaubed with barber&#8217;s scent,&mdash;<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">What cheapskate waits on you</span><br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">To woo,</span><br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 3em;">O Pyrrha?</span></p>
+
+<p>
+ For whom the puff and rat<br />
+ And transformation that<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">You bought a year ago</span><br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">Or so,</span><br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 3em;">O Pyrrha?</span></p>
+
+<p>
+ Peeved? Not a bit. Not I<br />
+ I&#8217;m sorry for the guy.<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">He draws a lovely lime</span><br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">This time,</span><br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 3em;">O Pyrrha!</span></p>
+
+<p>
+ I&#8217;ve dipped. The wet ain&#8217;t fine.<br />
+ Hung on the votive line<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">My duds. The gods can see</span><br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">I&#8217;m free.</span><br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 3em;">Eh, Pyrrha!</span></p>
+
+
+
+
+<p>&nbsp;</p>
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_60" id="Page_60">[Pg 60]</a></span></p>
+<p><strong><span style="margin-left: 5em;">IV</span></strong></p>
+
+<p><strong>TO ARISTIUS FUSCUS</strong></p>
+
+<p><span style="margin-left: 3em;">&ldquo;<em>My sweetly-smiling, sweetly-speaking Lalage.</em>&rdquo;</span></p>
+
+
+<p>
+ Fuscus, take a tip from me:<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">This here job&#8217;s no bed of roses,</span><br />
+ Not the cinch it seems to be,<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">Not the pipe that one supposes.</span><br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 3em;">What care I, tho&#8217;, if I may</span><br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 3em;">Lallygag with Lalage.</span></p>
+
+<p>
+ Every day there&#8217;s ink to spill,<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">Tho&#8217; I may not feel like working.</span><br />
+ Every day a hole to fill;<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">One must plug it&mdash;there&#8217;s no shirking.</span><br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 3em;">Oh, that I might all the day</span><br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 3em;">Lallygag with Lalage!</span></p>
+
+<p>
+ People say, &ldquo;Gee! what a snap,<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">Turning paragraphs and verses.</span><br />
+ He&#8217;s the band on Fortune&#8217;s cap,<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">Gets a barrel of ses-<em>terces</em>.&rdquo;</span><br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 3em;">Let them gossip, while I play</span><br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 3em;">Hide and seek with Lalage.</span></p>
+
+<p>
+ People hand me out advice:<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: .7em;">&ldquo;Hod, you&#8217;re doing too much drivel.</span><br />
+ Write us something sweet and nice.<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">Stow the satire, chop the frivol.&rdquo;</span><br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 3em;">But we have the rent to pay,</span><br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 3em;">Lalage; eh, Lalage?</span></p>
+
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_61" id="Page_61">[Pg 61]</a></span>
+ Ladies shy the saving sense<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">Write me patronizing letters;</span><br />
+ And there are the writing gents,<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">Always out to knock their betters.</span><br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 3em;">What cares Flaccus if he may</span><br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 3em;">Lallygag with Lalage!</span></p>
+
+<p>
+ No, old top, the writing lay&#8217;s<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">Not a bed of sweet geranium.</span><br />
+ Brickbats mingle with bouquets<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">Shied at my devoted cranium.</span><br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 3em;">Does it peeve yours truly? Nay.</span><br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 3em;">Nothing can&mdash;with Lalage.</span></p>
+
+<p>
+ Paste this, Fuscus, in your hat:<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">Not a pesky thing can peeve me.</span><br />
+ Take it, too, from Horace flat,<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">She&#8217;s some gal, is Lal, believe me.</span><br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 3em;">So I coin this word to-day,</span><br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 2.7em;">&ldquo;Lallygag&rdquo;&mdash;from Lalage.</span></p>
+
+
+
+
+<p>&nbsp;</p>
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_62" id="Page_62">[Pg 62]</a></span></p>
+<p><strong><span style="margin-left: 5em;">V</span></strong></p>
+
+<p><strong>TO SYLVIA</strong></p>
+
+
+<p>
+ Were I on the Latin lay,<br />
+ Were I turning Odes to-day,<br />
+ You would draw a gem from me,<br />
+ Little maid of mystery!</p>
+
+<p>
+ In an Ode I&#8217;d love to spout you;<br />
+ I am simply bug about you.<br />
+ That&#8217;s the way!&mdash;the fairest peach<br />
+ Is the one that&#8217;s out of reach.</p>
+
+<p>
+ I have toasted in my time<br />
+ Many a peach (and many a lime),<br />
+ All of them, I must confess,<br />
+ Lacking your elusiveness.</p>
+
+<p>
+ Lalage, my well known flame,<br />
+ Was considerable dame;<br />
+ Likewise Lydia and Phyllis,<br />
+ Chlo&euml;, Pyrrha, Amaryllis.</p>
+
+<p>
+ Syl, if you had lived when they did<br />
+ You&#8217;d have had those damsels faded.<br />
+ (That will give you, girl, some notion<br />
+ Of your Flaccus&#8217;s devotion.)</p>
+
+<p>
+ Yep. If I were doing Odes<br />
+ In my quondam favorite modes,<br />
+ With your image to qui-vive me<br />
+ I&#8217;d tear off some Ode, believe me!</p>
+
+
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_63" id="Page_63">[Pg 63]</a></span></p>
+<p><strong>A BALLAD OF MISFITS</strong></p>
+
+<p style="margin-left: 3em;">
+<span style="margin-left: -.3em;">&ldquo;<em>Chacun son m&eacute;tier:</em></span><br />
+ <em>Les vaches seront bien gard&eacute;es.</em>&rdquo;<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 7em;" class="smcap">&mdash;La Fontaine.</span></p>
+
+
+<p>
+ With skill for doing this or that<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">The Lord each man endows.</span><br />
+ Some men are best for pushing pens,<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">And some for pushing plows;</span><br />
+ And oh, the many many more<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">That should be tending cows!</span><br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 2em;"><em>Chacun son m&eacute;tier:</em></span><br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 2em;"><em>Les vaches bien gard&eacute;es.</em></span></p>
+
+<p>
+ The ivory-headed serving maid<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">Who poses as a &ldquo;cook,&rdquo;</span><br />
+ She hath a very bovine brain,<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">She hath a bovine look.</span><br />
+ Oh, prithee, lead her to the kine,<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">Oh, prithee get the hook!</span><br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 2em;"><em>Chacun son m&eacute;tier:</em></span><br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 2em;"><em>Les vaches bien gard&eacute;es.</em></span></p>
+
+<p>
+ The papering-and-painting gents<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">Whose work is never done,</span><br />
+ Who mess around your house until<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">You pine to pull a gun,</span><br />
+ Who take three mortal days to do<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">What should be done in one;&mdash;</span><br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 2em;"><em>Chacun son m&eacute;tier:</em></span><br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 2em;"><em>Les vaches bien gard&eacute;es.</em></span></p>
+
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_64" id="Page_64">[Pg 64]</a></span>
+ The pestilential &ldquo;pianiste,&rdquo;<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">The screechy singer too,</span><br />
+ The writer of the stupid book<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">And of the dull review,</span><br />
+ The actor who is greatest when<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">He takes his exit cue;&mdash;</span><br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 2em;"><em>Chacun son m&eacute;tier:</em></span><br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 2em;"><em>Les vaches bien gard&eacute;es.</em></span></p>
+
+<p>
+ If every one were set to do<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">The task for which he&#8217;s fit,</span><br />
+ The writer of these trifling lines<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">Might also have to quit.</span><br />
+ At tending cows the undersigned<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">Might make an awful hit.</span><br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 2em;"><em>Chacun son m&eacute;tier:</em></span><br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 2em;"><em>Les vaches bien gard&eacute;es.</em></span></p>
+
+
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_65" id="Page_65">[Pg 65]</a></span></p>
+<p><strong>AN ORIENTAL APOLOGY</strong></p>
+
+
+<p>
+ When the hour was come Prince Chun arose,<br />
+ And balanced a shoestring on his nose.<br />
+<span style="margin-left: -.3em;">&ldquo;From this some notion you will get,&rdquo;</span><br />
+ Said he, &ldquo;of China&#8217;s deep regret.&rdquo;</p>
+
+<p>
+ Now balancing upon his ear<br />
+ A stein of foaming lager beer,<br />
+<span style="margin-left: -.3em;">&ldquo;This attitude,&rdquo; said he, &ldquo;reveals</span><br />
+ How very sorry China feels.&rdquo;</p>
+
+<p>
+ Then spinning top-like on his cue,<br />
+<span style="margin-left: -.3em;">&ldquo;I can&#8217;t begin to tell to you</span><br />
+ The deep remorse we suffer for<br />
+ The death of your Ambassador.&rdquo;</p>
+
+<p>
+ Next, placing on his cue a plate,<br />
+ He said, as it &#8217;gan to gyrate:<br />
+<span style="margin-left: -.3em;">&ldquo;Nothing that&#8217;s happened in his reign</span><br />
+ Has caused my Emperor so much pain.&rdquo;</p>
+
+<p>
+ Upon his back he did declare,<br />
+ While juggling five balls in the air,<br />
+<span style="margin-left: -.3em;">&ldquo;This attitude&mdash;the humblest yet&mdash;</span><br />
+ Expresses personal regret.&rdquo;</p>
+
+<p>
+ Last, spreading out a deck of cards&mdash;<br />
+<span style="margin-left: -.3em;">&ldquo;Accept my Emperor&#8217;s regards.</span><br />
+ As our intentions were well meant,<br />
+ Pray overlook the incident.&rdquo;</p>
+
+
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_66" id="Page_66">[Pg 66]</a></span></p>
+<p><strong>THE DAY OF THE COMET</strong></p>
+
+<p><span style="margin-left: 3em;">(<em>May 18, 1910.</em>)</span></p>
+
+
+<p>
+ Here it is&mdash;Eighteenth of May!<br />
+ Dawneth now the fatal day<br />
+ When we take the awful veil<br />
+ Of the fearsome comet&#8217;s tail.<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 3em;">Vale, Earth!</span></p>
+
+<p>
+ What will happen, heaven knows;<br />
+ We can&#8217;t even guess, suppose,<br />
+ Hazard, speculate, surmise,<br />
+ Hint, conjecture, theorize,<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 3em;">Or divine.</span></p>
+
+<p>
+ Will we merely drill a hole<br />
+ Through the trailing aureole?<br />
+ Or will the prediction dire<br />
+ Of a world destroyed by fire<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 3em;">Be fulfilled?</span></p>
+
+<p>
+ Shall we crook our knees and pray<br />
+ Counting this the Judgment Day?<br />
+ Or preserve a cosmic ca&#8217;m,<br />
+ Caring not a cosmic dam<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 3em;">What may come?</span></p>
+
+<p>
+ There&#8217;s the rub. If we but knew<br />
+ We should know just what to do.<br />
+ Yes is just as good as No<br />
+ To all questions. Here we go!&mdash;<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 3em;">Hang on tight!</span></p>
+
+
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_67" id="Page_67">[Pg 67]</a></span></p>
+<p>THE MORNING AFTER</p>
+
+<p><span style="margin-left: 3em;">(<em>May 19, 1910.</em>)</span></p>
+
+
+<p>
+ Here we are, friends, whole and hale<br />
+ In or through the comet&#8217;s tail;<br />
+ And as far as we can say,<br />
+ Matters are about as they<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 3em;">Were before.</span></p>
+
+<p>
+ Everything is much the same<br />
+ As before the comet came.<br />
+ Grasses grow and waters run&mdash;<br />
+ Nothing new beneath the sun&mdash;<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 3em;">Same old sphere.</span></p>
+
+<p>
+ Life is drab or life is gay,<br />
+ Thorny path or primrose way;<br />
+ All is common, all is strange;<br />
+<span style="margin-left: -.3em;">&ldquo;Down the ringing grooves of change&rdquo;</span><br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 3em;">Spins the world.</span></p>
+
+<p>
+ Change but of a humdrum kind.<br />
+ What we vaguely had in mind<br />
+ Was some new sensation or<br />
+ Thrill we never felt before.<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 3em;">Vain desire!</span></p>
+
+<p>
+ Nothing&#8217;s added to the stock:<br />
+ Same old shiver, same old shock.<br />
+ Round about the sun we&#8217;ll go<br />
+ In the same old status quo.<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 3em;">Awful bore!</span></p>
+
+
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_68" id="Page_68">[Pg 68]</a></span></p>
+<p><strong>A BALLADE OF IRRESOLUTION</strong></p>
+
+
+<p>
+ Isolde, in the story old,<br />
+ When Ireland&#8217;s coast the vessel nears,<br />
+ And Death were fairer to behold,<br />
+ To Tristan gives &ldquo;the cup that clears.&rdquo;<br />
+ Straight to their fate the helmsman steers:<br />
+ Unknowing, each the potion sips....<br />
+ Comes echoing through the ghostly years<br />
+<span style="margin-left: -.3em;">&ldquo;Give me the philtre of thy lips!&rdquo;</span></p>
+
+<p>
+ Ah, that like Tristan I were bold!<br />
+ My soul into the future peers,<br />
+ And passion flags, and heart grows cold,<br />
+ And sicklied resolution veers.<br />
+ I see the Sister of the Shears<br />
+ Who sits fore&#8217;er and snips, and snips....<br />
+ Still falls upon my inward ears,<br />
+<span style="margin-left: -.3em;">&ldquo;Give me the philtre of thy lips!&rdquo;</span></p>
+
+<p>
+ Hero of lovers, largely soul&#8217;d!<br />
+ Imagination thee enspheres<br />
+ With song-enchanted wood and wold<br />
+ And casements fronting magic meres.<br />
+ Tristan, thy large example cheers<br />
+ The faint of heart; thy story grips!&mdash;<br />
+ My soul again that echo hears,<br />
+<span style="margin-left: -.3em;">&ldquo;Give me the philtre of thy lips!&rdquo;</span></p>
+
+<p>&nbsp;</p>
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_69" id="Page_69">[Pg 69]</a></span>
+ <span style="margin-left: 3em;"><em>L&#8217;Envoi</em></span></p>
+
+<p>
+ Sweet sorceress, resolve my fears!<br />
+ He stakes all who Elysium clips.<br />
+ What tho&#8217; the fruit be tares and tears!&mdash;<br />
+ Give me the philtre of thy lips!</p>
+
+
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_70" id="Page_70">[Pg 70]</a></span></p>
+<p><strong>TO WHAT BASE USES!</strong></p>
+
+<p>&ldquo;<em>Mrs. O&mdash;&mdash; now takes her daily dip at 5 in the afternoon,
+instead of in the morning.</em>&rdquo;<br />
+<span style="margin-left: 12em;" class="smcap">&mdash;Newport Item.</span></p>
+
+
+<p>
+ This is the forest primeval.</p>
+
+<p>
+ This the spruce with the glorious plume<br />
+ That grew in the forest primeval.</p>
+
+<p>
+ This is the lumberman big and browned<br />
+ Who felled the spruce tree to the ground<br />
+ That grew in the forest primeval.</p>
+
+<p>
+ This is the man with the paper mill<br />
+ Who bought the pulp that paid the bill<br />
+ Of the husky lumberjack who chopped<br />
+ The lofty spruce and its branches lopped<br />
+ That grew in the forest primeval.</p>
+
+<p>
+ This is the publisher bland and rich<br />
+ Who bought the roll of paper which<br />
+ Was made by the man with the paper mill<br />
+ Who bought the pulp that paid the bill<br />
+ Of the lumberjack with the murderous ax<br />
+ Who felled the spruce with lusty hacks<br />
+ That grew in the forest primeval.</p>
+
+<p>
+ This is the youth with the writing tool<br />
+ Who does the daily Newport drool<br />
+ That helps to make the publisher rich<br />
+ Who ordered the stock of paper which<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_71" id="Page_71">[Pg 71]</a></span><br />
+ Was made by the man with the paper mill<br />
+ Who bought the pulp that paid the bill<br />
+ Of the husky Swede in the Joseph&#8217;s coat<br />
+ Who swung his ax and the tall spruce smote<br />
+ That grew in the forest primeval.</p>
+
+<p>
+ This is the lady far from slim<br />
+ Who changed the hour of her daily swim<br />
+ And excited the youth with the writing tool<br />
+ Who does the Newport drivel and drool<br />
+ For the prosperous publisher bland and fat<br />
+ Who ordered the virgin paper that<br />
+ Was made by the man with the paper mill<br />
+ Who bought the pulp that paid the bill<br />
+ Of Ole Oleson the husky Swede<br />
+ Who did a foul and darksome deed<br />
+ When he swung his ax with vigor and vim<br />
+ And smote the spruce tree tall and trim<br />
+ That grew in the forest primeval.</p>
+
+<p>
+ This is the shop girl Mag or Liz<br />
+ Who daily devours what news there is<br />
+ Concerning the lady far from slim<br />
+ Who changed the time of her ocean swim<br />
+ And excited the youth with the writing tool<br />
+ Who does the daily Newport drool<br />
+ For the pursy publisher bland and rich<br />
+ Who bought the innocent paper which<br />
+ Was made by the man with the paper mill<br />
+ Who bought the pulp that paid the bill<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_72" id="Page_72">[Pg 72]</a></span><br />
+ Of the Swedish jack who slew the spruce<br />
+ That came to a most ignoble use&mdash;<br />
+ The lofty spruce with the glorious plume&mdash;<br />
+ The giant spruce that used to loom<br />
+ In the heart of the forest primeval.</p>
+
+
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_73" id="Page_73">[Pg 73]</a></span></p>
+<p><strong>HOW THEY MIGHT HAVE BROUGHT THE GOOD NEWS</strong></p>
+
+
+<p>
+ We sprang to the motor, I, Joris and Dirck.<br />
+ I snapped on my goggles and got to my work.<br />
+<span style="margin-left: -.3em;">&ldquo;Hi, there!&rdquo; yelled the cop in the helmet of white;</span><br />
+<span style="margin-left: -.3em;">&ldquo;Let her flicker!&rdquo; said Joris, and into the night,</span><br />
+ With a sneer at the speed laws, we hurtled hell-bent<br />
+ To carry to Aix the good tidings from Ghent.</p>
+
+<p>
+ The going was poor, we expected delay,<br />
+ And the usual livestock obstructed the way.<br />
+ At Boom we ran over a large yellow dog,<br />
+ At D&uuml;ffeld a chicken, at Mecheln a hog;<br />
+ What else, we&#8217;d no time to slow down to inquire;<br />
+ At Aerschot, confound it! we blew out a tire.</p>
+
+<p>
+ I jacked up the axle and ripped off the shoe,<br />
+ And snapped on an extra that promised to do.<br />
+<span style="margin-left: -.3em;">&ldquo;All aboard!&rdquo; I exclaimed as I cranked the machine,</span><br />
+ But something was wrong with the curst gasoline.<br />
+<span style="margin-left: -.3em;">&ldquo;By Hasselt!&rdquo; Dirck groaned, &ldquo;We&#8217;ll be half a day late;</span><br />
+ We ought to have sent the good tidings by freight.&rdquo;</p>
+
+<p>
+ False prophet! I tinkered a minute or two<br />
+ And again we were off like &ldquo;a bolt from the blue.&rdquo;<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_74" id="Page_74">[Pg 74]</a></span><br />
+ We ate up the hills at a forty-mile clip,<br />
+ And skidded the turns like the snap of a whip,<br />
+ Till we dashed into Aix and were pinched by a cop<br />
+ For failing to slow when commanded to stop.</p>
+
+<p>
+<span style="margin-left: -.3em;">&ldquo;Now, wouldn&#8217;t that frost you!&rdquo; said Joris, but we</span><br />
+ When we told the glad tidings were instantly free.<br />
+ The Mayor himself paid the ten dollars&#8217; fine,<br />
+ And blew us to dinner with six kinds of wine,<br />
+ Which (the burgesses voted, by common consent)<br />
+ Was no more than their due that brought good news from Ghent.</p>
+
+
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_75" id="Page_75">[Pg 75]</a></span></p>
+<p><strong>THE DINOSAUR</strong></p>
+
+
+<p>
+ Behold the mighty Dinosaur,<br />
+ Famous in prehistoric lore,<br />
+ Not only for his weight and strength<br />
+ But for his intellectual length.<br />
+ You will observe by these remains<br />
+ The creature had two sets of brains&mdash;<br />
+ One in his head (the usual place),<br />
+ The other at his spinal base.<br />
+ Thus he could reason <em>a priori</em><br />
+ As well as <em>a posteriori</em>.<br />
+ No problem bothered him a bit;<br />
+ He made both head and tail of it.<br />
+ So wise he was, so wise and solemn,<br />
+ Each thought filled just a spinal column.<br />
+ If one brain found the pressure strong<br />
+ It passed a few ideas along;<br />
+ If something slipped his forward mind<br />
+ &#8217;Twas rescued by the one behind;<br />
+ And if in error he was caught<br />
+ He had a saving afterthought.<br />
+ As he thought twice before he spoke<br />
+ He had no judgments to revoke;<br />
+ For he could think, without congestion,<br />
+ Upon both sides of every question.</p>
+
+<p>
+ Oh, gaze upon this model beast,<br />
+ Defunct ten million years at least.</p>
+
+
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_76" id="Page_76">[Pg 76]</a></span></p>
+<p><strong>A BALLADE OF CAP AND BELLS</strong></p>
+
+
+<p>
+ When as a dewdrop joy enspheres<br />
+ This pleasant planet, arched with blue,<br />
+ When every prospect charms and cheers,<br />
+ And all the world is fair to view&mdash;<br />
+ Who does not envy (have not you?)<br />
+ That mortal, by Thalia kissed,<br />
+ Who plies, in plumes of cockatoo,<br />
+ The blithesome trade of humorist?</p>
+
+<p>
+ But when the wind of fortune veers,<br />
+ And blue-white skies turn leaden hue,<br />
+ When every pleasant prospect blears<br />
+ And all the weary world&#8217;s askew&mdash;<br />
+ Who then would envy (if he knew)<br />
+ Jack Point the jester, glum and trist;<br />
+ Or ply, tho&#8217; first of all the crew,<br />
+ The dismal trade of humorist?</p>
+
+<p>
+ Ah, jocund trifles writ in tears,<br />
+ And merry stanzas steeped in rue!<br />
+ When all the world in drab appears<br />
+ The fool must still in motley woo.<br />
+ Tho&#8217; bitter be the cud he chew,<br />
+ Still must he grind his foolish grist;<br />
+ Still must he ply, the long day through,<br />
+ The tragic trade of humorist!</p>
+
+<p>&nbsp;</p>
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_77" id="Page_77">[Pg 77]</a></span>
+ <span style="margin-left: 3em;"><em>L&#8217;Envoi</em></span></p>
+
+<p>
+ Lady of Tears, what pains perdue<br />
+ The heart and soul of him may twist<br />
+ Who doth in cap and bells pursue<br />
+ The glad sad trade of humorist!</p>
+
+
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_78" id="Page_78">[Pg 78]</a></span></p>
+<p><strong>GENTLE DOCTOR BROWN</strong></p>
+
+
+<p>
+ It was a gentle sawbones and his name was Doctor Brown.<br />
+ His auto was the terror of a small suburban town.<br />
+ His practice, quite amazing for so trivial a place,<br />
+ Consisted of the victims of his homicidal pace.</p>
+
+<p>
+ So constant was his practice and so high his motor&#8217;s gear<br />
+ That at knocking down pedestrians he never had a peer;<br />
+ But it must, in simple justice, be as truly written down<br />
+ That no man could be more thoughtful than gentle Doctor Brown.</p>
+
+<p>
+ Whatever was the errand on which Doctor Brown was bent<br />
+ He&#8217;d stop to patch a victim up and never charged a cent.<br />
+ He&#8217;d always pause, whoever &#8217;twas he happened to run down:<br />
+ A humane and a thoughtful man was gentle Doctor Brown.</p>
+
+<p>
+<span style="margin-left: -.3em;">&ldquo;How fortunate,&rdquo; he would observe, &ldquo;how fortunate &#8217;twas I</span><br />
+ That knocked you galley-west and heard your wild and wailing cry.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_79" id="Page_79">[Pg 79]</a></span><br />
+ There <em>are</em> some heartless wretches who would leave you here alone,<br />
+ Without a sympathetic ear to catch your dying moan.</p>
+
+<p>
+<span style="margin-left: -.3em;">&ldquo;Such callousness,&rdquo; said Doctor Brown, &ldquo;I cannot comprehend;</span><br />
+ To fathom such indifference I simply don&#8217;t pretend.<br />
+ One ought to do his duty, and I never am remiss.<br />
+ A simple word of thanks is all I ask. Here, swallow this!&rdquo;</p>
+
+<p>
+ Then, reaching in the tonneau, he&#8217;d unpack his little kit,<br />
+ And perform an operation that was workmanlike and fit.<br />
+<span style="margin-left: -.3em;">&ldquo;You may survive,&rdquo; said Doctor Brown; &ldquo;it&#8217;s happened once or twice.</span><br />
+ If not, you&#8217;ve had the benefit of competent advice.&rdquo;</p>
+
+<p>
+ Oh, if all our motormaniacs were equally humane,<br />
+ How little bitterness there&#8217;d be, or reason to complain!<br />
+ How different our point of view if we were ridden down<br />
+ By lunatics as thoughtful as gentle Doctor Brown!</p>
+
+
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_80" id="Page_80">[Pg 80]</a></span></p>
+<p><strong>IN THE GALLERY</strong></p>
+
+
+<p>
+ Weirder than the pictures<br />
+ Are the folks who come<br />
+ With their owlish strictures&mdash;<br />
+ Telling why they&#8217;re bum.<br />
+ Of all lines of babble<br />
+ This one has the call:<br />
+ Picture gallery gabble<br />
+ Is the best of all.</p>
+
+<p>
+ Literary fluffle<br />
+ Never, never cloys;<br />
+ Much has Mrs. Guffle<br />
+ Added to my joys.<br />
+ For that chitter-chatter<br />
+ I delight to fall.<br />
+ But the picture patter<br />
+ Is the best of all.</p>
+
+<p>
+ With the music highbrows<br />
+ I delight to chat,<br />
+ Elevating my brows<br />
+ Over this and that.<br />
+ Music tittle-tattle<br />
+ Never fails to thrall.<br />
+ But the picture prattle<br />
+ Is the best of all.</p>
+
+<p>
+ Sociologic rub-dub<br />
+ I delight to hear;<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_81" id="Page_81">[Pg 81]</a></span><br />
+ Philosophic flub-dub<br />
+ Titillates my ear.<br />
+ Lovelier yet the spiffle<br />
+ In the picture hall;<br />
+ For the picture piffle<br />
+ Is the best of all.</p>
+
+<p>
+ Weirder than the pictures<br />
+ Are the folks who stand<br />
+ Passing owlish strictures,<br />
+ Catalogue in hand.<br />
+ Hear the bunk they babble<br />
+ Under every wall.<br />
+ Yes. The gallery gabble<br />
+ Is the best of all.</p>
+
+
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_82" id="Page_82">[Pg 82]</a></span></p>
+<p><strong>ALWAYS</strong></p>
+
+<p><span style="margin-left: 3em;">&ldquo;<em>Il y a tous les jours quelque dam chose.</em>&rdquo;</span><br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 12em;" class="smcap">&mdash;Abelard to Heloise.</span></p>
+
+
+<p>
+ When Mrs. Mead was full of groans,<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">When symptoms of all sorts assailed her,</span><br />
+ She sent for bluff old Doctor Jones,<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">And told him all the things that ailed her.</span><br />
+ It took her nearly half the day,<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">And when she finished out the string&mdash;</span><br />
+<span style="margin-left: -.3em;">&ldquo;Ye-e-s, Mrs. Mead,&rdquo; drawled Doctor J.,</span><br />
+ <span style="margin-left: .7em;">&ldquo;There&#8217;s always some dam thing.&rdquo;</span></p>
+
+<p>
+ I like the line. It&#8217;s worth a ton<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">Of optimistic commonplaces.</span><br />
+ It&#8217;s tonic, it refreshes one,<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">It cheers, it stimulates, it braces.</span><br />
+ It summarizes things so well;<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">It has the philosophic ring.</span><br />
+ Has Kant or Hegel more to tell?<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: .7em;">&ldquo;There&#8217;s always some dam thing.&rdquo;</span></p>
+
+<p>
+ The dean of all the cheer-up school<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">Adjures sad hearts to cease repining,</span><br />
+ And intimates that, as a rule,<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">The sun behind the cloud is shining.</span><br />
+<span style="margin-left: -.3em;">&ldquo;Into each life&mdash;&mdash;&rdquo; You know the rest;</span><br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">No need to finish out the string.</span><br />
+ Longfellow boiled might be expressed,<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: .7em;">&ldquo;There&#8217;s always some dam thing.&rdquo;</span></p>
+
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_83" id="Page_83">[Pg 83]</a></span>
+ When things go wrong I do not read<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">The cheer-up poets, great or lesser.</span><br />
+ To soothe my soul I do not need<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">The Neo-Thought of Mr. Dresser.</span><br />
+ Sufficient for each working day,<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">With all the worries it may bring,</span><br />
+ That helpful line by Doctor J.,<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: .7em;">&ldquo;There&#8217;s always some dam thing.&rdquo;</span></p>
+
+
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_84" id="Page_84">[Pg 84]</a></span></p>
+<p><strong>THE MODERN MARINER</strong></p>
+
+
+<p>
+ A dry sheet and a lazy sea,<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">And a wind so far from fast</span><br />
+ It barely floats the owner&#8217;s flag<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">That flutters at the mast&mdash;</span><br />
+ That flutters at the mast, my boys;<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">So while the sky is free</span><br />
+ Of cloud we&#8217;ll take a yachtsman&#8217;s chance<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">And venture out to sea.</span></p>
+
+<p>
+ The aneroid has dropped a tenth!<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">Back, back across the bar</span><br />
+ To a harbor snug, and a long cold drink,<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">And a big fat black cigar&mdash;</span><br />
+ A big fat black cigar, my boys;<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">While, on an even keel,</span><br />
+ The Swedish chef out-chefs himself<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">In getting up a meal.</span></p>
+
+<p>
+ Give me a soft and gentle wind,<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">A fleckless azure sky;</span><br />
+ I care not for your &ldquo;snoring breeze&rdquo;<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">And dinners heaving high&mdash;</span><br />
+ And dinners heaving high, my boys,<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">Make no great hit with me;</span><br />
+ So when the breeze begins to snore<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">We&#8217;ll not put out to sea.</span></p>
+
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_85" id="Page_85">[Pg 85]</a></span>
+ There&#8217;s laughter in yon beach hotel,<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">And summer girls a crowd;</span><br />
+ And hark the music, mariners,<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">The band is piping loud!</span><br />
+ The band is piping loud, my boys,<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">Bright eyes are flashing free.</span><br />
+ Come, fly the owner&#8217;s-absent flag<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">And join the revelry.</span></p>
+
+
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_86" id="Page_86">[Pg 86]</a></span></p>
+<p><strong>A BALLADE OF THE CANNERY</strong></p>
+
+
+<p>
+ What of the phrases, long decayed,<br />
+ Of paleologic pedigree,<br />
+ Musty, moldy, frazzled, and frayed&mdash;<br />
+ A doddering, dusty company?<br />
+ What shall be done with them? say we;<br />
+ And east and west the people bawl,<br />
+ Dump them into the Cannery!&mdash;<br />
+ Into the brine go one and all.</p>
+
+<p>
+<span style="margin-left: -.3em;">&ldquo;Grilled&rdquo; and &ldquo;lauded&rdquo; and &ldquo;scored&rdquo; and &ldquo;flayed,&rdquo;</span><br />
+<span style="margin-left: -.3em;">&ldquo;Common or garden variety,&rdquo;</span><br />
+<span style="margin-left: -.3em;">&ldquo;Wave of crime&rdquo; and &ldquo;reform crusade,&rdquo;</span><br />
+<span style="margin-left: -.3em;">&ldquo;Along these lines&rdquo; and &ldquo;it seems to me,&rdquo;</span><br />
+<span style="margin-left: -.3em;">&ldquo;Noted savant,&rdquo; &ldquo;I fail to see,&rdquo;</span><br />
+ The &ldquo;groaning board&rdquo; of the &ldquo;banquet hall,&rdquo;&mdash;<br />
+ Masonjar &#8217;em in &ldquo;ghoulish glee&rdquo;&mdash;<br />
+ Into the brine go one and all.</p>
+
+<p>
+<span style="margin-left: -.3em;">&ldquo;Succulent bivalves,&rdquo; &ldquo;trusty blade,&rdquo;</span><br />
+<span style="margin-left: -.3em;">&ldquo;Last analysis,&rdquo; &ldquo;practical-ly,&rdquo;</span><br />
+<span style="margin-left: -.3em;">&ldquo;Lone highwayman&rdquo; and &ldquo;fusillade,&rdquo;</span><br />
+<span style="margin-left: -.3em;">&ldquo;Millionaire broker and clubman,&rdquo; &ldquo;gee!&rdquo;</span><br />
+<span style="margin-left: -.3em;">&ldquo;In reply to yours,&rdquo; &ldquo;can such things be?&rdquo;</span><br />
+<span style="margin-left: -.3em;">&ldquo;Sounded the keynote&rdquo; or &ldquo;trumpet call,&rdquo;&mdash;</span><br />
+ Can &#8217;em, pickle &#8217;em, one, two, three&mdash;<br />
+ Into the brine go one and all.</p>
+
+<p>&nbsp;</p>
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_87" id="Page_87">[Pg 87]</a></span>
+ <span style="margin-left: 3em;"><em>L&#8217;Envoi</em></span></p>
+
+<p>
+ Under the spreading chestnut tree<br />
+ Stands the Cannery, all too small.<br />
+ The Canner a briny man is he,<br />
+ And into the brine go one and all.</p>
+
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_88" id="Page_88">[Pg 88]</a></span></p>
+<p><strong>PANDEAN PIPEDREAMS</strong></p>
+
+<p><span style="margin-left: 3em;">(<em>Induced by smoking &ldquo;Pagan Pickings.&rdquo;</em>)</span></p>
+
+
+<p style="margin-left: 5em;"><strong>I</strong></p>
+
+<p>
+<em>This is something that I heard,</em><br />
+<em>As the fluting of a bird,</em><br />
+<em>On a certain drowsy day,</em><br />
+<em>When my pipe was under way.</em><br />
+<em>I was weary of the town,</em><br />
+<em>And the going up and down;</em><br />
+<em>Sick of streets and sick of noise,&mdash;</em><br />
+<em>And I pined for Pagan joys.</em></p>
+
+<p>
+ Daphne, here it is July!<br />
+ Just the month, my love, to fly<br />
+ To a sylvan solitude<br />
+ In the green and ancient wood.<br />
+ We will trip it as we go<br />
+ On the neo-Pagan toe,<br />
+ Sunny days and starry nights,<br />
+ Savoring the wild delights<br />
+ Of a turbulent desire<br />
+ That may set the wood on fire.</p>
+
+<p>
+ We will play at hunt-the-fawn,<br />
+ In the neo-Dorian dawn.<br />
+ You will scamper through the brake,<br />
+ And I&#8217;ll follow in your wake&mdash;</p>
+
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_89" id="Page_89">[Pg 89]</a></span>
+ As the young Apollo ran<br />
+ In the piping days of Pan.<br />
+ You&#8217;ll escape me, without doubt,<br />
+ For I&#8217;m just a trifle stout;<br />
+ But, when I have lagged behind,<br />
+ Waiting for my second wynde,<br />
+ From some pretty hiding-place<br />
+ Will emerge your laughing face;<br />
+ I shall glimpse your eyes of blue,<br />
+ Hear your merry &ldquo;Peek-a-boo!&rdquo;</p>
+
+<p>
+ What to wear? The Pagan plan<br />
+ Contemplates a coat of tan;<br />
+ But I fear we shall require<br />
+ Just a trifle more attire.<br />
+ Bushes scratch and brambles sting;<br />
+ Insect myriads are a-wing;&mdash;<br />
+ Heavens, how mosquitoes swarm<br />
+ When the woodland air is warm.<br />
+ (<span class="smcap">Mem</span>: To take, when we elope,<br />
+ Tanglewood Mosquito Dope.)</p>
+
+<p>
+ Do you like the picture, dear?<br />
+ Have you aught of doubt or fear?<br />
+ Have you any criticism<br />
+ Of my neo-Paganism?<br />
+ If not, dearie, let us fly<br />
+ To that passion-ripening sky,<br />
+ Where our souls may have their fling,<br />
+ And our every care take wing.</p>
+
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_90" id="Page_90">[Pg 90]</a></span>
+<em>So the bird song fluted by,</em><br />
+<em>Like a vagrant summer sigh&mdash;</em><br />
+<em>Came, and passed, and was no more;</em><br />
+<em>And my pleasant dream was o&#8217;er.</em><br />
+<em>For arose the wraith of Doubt;</em><br />
+<em>And I knew my pipe was out.</em></p>
+
+
+<p>&nbsp;</p>
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_91" id="Page_91">[Pg 91]</a></span>
+<span style="margin-left: 3em;"><strong>II</strong></span></p>
+
+<p>
+<em>This is something that befell</em><br />
+<em>When my pipe was drawing well&mdash;</em><br />
+<em>Something, rather, that I heard</em><br />
+<em>As the fluting of a bird.</em></p>
+
+<p>
+ Daphne, come and live with me<br />
+ In a Pagan greenery.<br />
+ Life will then be naught but play,<br />
+ One long Pagan holiday.<br />
+ We will play at hide and seek<br />
+ In the alders by the creek;<br />
+ Sport amid the cascade&#8217;s smother.<br />
+ Splashing water at each other;&mdash;<br />
+ Every moment pleasure wooing,<br />
+ Every moment something doing.<br />
+ If we talk, we&#8217;ll talk of Love:<br />
+ All its arguments we&#8217;ll prove.<br />
+ Such a mental rest you&#8217;ll find.<br />
+ Leave your intellect behind.</p>
+
+<p>
+ Night will come, (for come it will,<br />
+ &#8217;Spite the fluting on the hill,)<br />
+ And we&#8217;ll pitch a cozy camp<br />
+ Where it isn&#8217;t quite so damp.<br />
+ While you dry your hair and laze<br />
+ By the campfire&#8217;s violet blaze,<br />
+ I will rob a balsam tree<br />
+ To construct a house for thee.<br />
+ What so dear as to be wooed<br />
+ In a sylvan solitude?</p>
+
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_92" id="Page_92">[Pg 92]</a></span>
+ What so sweet as Pagan vows<br />
+ Whispered in a house of boughs?<br />
+ Pagan love&#8217;s without alloy.<br />
+ Pagan kisses never cloy.<br />
+ Arms that cling in Pagan fashion<br />
+ Never tire. A Pagan passion<br />
+ Is the only kind I know<br />
+ That outlives a winter&#8217;s snow.<br />
+ Daphne, Daphne, let us fly!<br />
+ You&#8217;re a Pagan&mdash;so am I.</p>
+
+<p>
+<em>So the fluting on the hill</em><br />
+<em>Passed and died, and all was still.</em><br />
+<em>So the Pagan Pickings died,</em><br />
+<em>And I laid the pipe aside.</em></p>
+
+
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_93" id="Page_93">[Pg 93]</a></span></p>
+<p><strong>THE LAUNDRY OF LIFE</strong></p>
+
+<p><span style="margin-left: 3em;">(<em>An Adventure in Sentiment.</em>)</span></p>
+
+
+<p>
+ Life is a laundry in which we<br />
+ Are ironed out, or soon or late.<br />
+ Who has not known the irony<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 4em;">Of fate?</span></p>
+
+<p>
+ We enter it when we are born,<br />
+ Our colors bright. Full soon they fade.<br />
+ We leave it &ldquo;done up,&rdquo; old and worn,<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 4em;">And frayed;</span></p>
+
+<p>
+ Frayed round the edges, worn and thin&mdash;<br />
+ Life is a rough old linen slinger.<br />
+ Who has not lost a button in<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 4em;">Life&#8217;s wringer?</span></p>
+
+<p>
+ With other linen we are tubbed,<br />
+ With other linen often tangled;<br />
+ In open court we then are scrubbed,<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 4em;">And mangled.</span></p>
+
+<p>
+ Some take a gloss of happiness<br />
+ The hardest wear can not diminish;<br />
+ Others, alas! get a &ldquo;domes-<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 4em;">Tic finish.&rdquo;</span></p>
+
+
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_94" id="Page_94">[Pg 94]</a></span></p>
+<p><strong>WISDOM IN A CAPSULE</strong></p>
+
+<p style="margin-left: 3em;">
+&ldquo;<em>If she be not so to me.</em><br />
+ <span style="margin-left: .5em;"><em>What care I how fair she be?</em>&rdquo;</span><br />
+<span style="margin-left: 4em;" class="smcap">&mdash;The Shepherd&#8217;s Resolution.</span></p>
+
+
+<p>
+ Here we have in this truism<br />
+ Mr. James&#8217;s pragmatism.<br />
+ Test your troubles day by day<br />
+ With it, and they fly away.<br />
+ Is the weather boiling hot,<br />
+ Hot enough to boil a pot&mdash;<br />
+ If it be not so to me,<br />
+ What care I how hot it be?</p>
+
+<p>
+ Take a pudding made of bread;<br />
+ Much against it has been said;<br />
+ But it does not lack defense&mdash;<br />
+ Many say it is immense.<br />
+ Be it damned or be it blessed,<br />
+ Let us make the acid test&mdash;<br />
+ If it be not so to me,<br />
+ What care I how good it be?</p>
+
+<p>
+ So with every blooming thing<br />
+ That has power to soothe or sting;<br />
+ Ships or shoes or sealing wax,<br />
+ Carrots, comets, carpet tacks.<br />
+ Every philosophic need<br />
+ Covered by this capsule creed:<br />
+ If it be not so to me,<br />
+ What care I how <img src="images/goodbad.jpg" width="41" height="25" alt="good bad" title="" /> it be?</p>
+
+
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_95" id="Page_95">[Pg 95]</a></span></p>
+<p><strong>THE LAND OF RAINBOW&#8217;S-END</strong></p>
+
+
+<p>
+ Young Faintheart lay on a wayside bank,<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">Full prey to doubts and fears,</span><br />
+ When he did espy come trudging by<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">A Pilgrim bent with years.</span><br />
+ His back was bowed and his step was slow,<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">But his faith no years could bend,</span><br />
+ As he eagerly pressed to the rose-lit west<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">And the Land of Rainbow&#8217;s-End.</span></p>
+
+<p>
+<span style="margin-left: -.3em;">&ldquo;<em>It&#8217;s ho, for a pack!&rdquo; sang the Pilgrim gray,</em></span><br />
+ <span style="margin-left: .7em;">&ldquo;<em>And a stout oak staff for friend,</em></span><br />
+<em>And it&#8217;s over the hills and far away</em><br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;"><em>To the Land of Rainbow&#8217;s-End!</em>&rdquo;</span></p>
+
+<p>
+<span style="margin-left: -.3em;">&ldquo;Thou&#8217;rt old,&rdquo; young Faintheart cried, &ldquo;thou&#8217;rt old,</span><br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">And there&#8217;s many a league to go;</span><br />
+ And still thou seekest the pot of gold<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">At the farther end of the bow.&rdquo;</span><br />
+<span style="margin-left: -.3em;">&ldquo;I am old, I am old,&rdquo; said the Pilgrim gray,</span><br />
+ <span style="margin-left: .7em;">&ldquo;But ever my way I&#8217;ll wend</span><br />
+ To the rose-lit hills of the dying day<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">And the Land of Rainbow&#8217;s-End.&rdquo;</span></p>
+
+<p>
+<span style="margin-left: -.3em;">&ldquo;Come, rest thee, rest thee by my side;</span><br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">Give o&#8217;er thy doomsday quest.&rdquo;</span><br />
+<span style="margin-left: -.3em;">&ldquo;Have done, have done!&rdquo; the Pilgrim cried:</span><br />
+ <span style="margin-left: .7em;">&ldquo;The light wanes in the west.</span><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_96" id="Page_96">[Pg 96]</a></span><br />
+ The road is long, but I shall not tire;<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">I will lay my bones, God send,</span><br />
+ By the beautiful City of Heart&#8217;s Desire,<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">In the Land of Rainbow&#8217;s-End.&rdquo;</span></p>
+
+<p>
+<span style="margin-left: -.3em;">&ldquo;<em>Then it&#8217;s ho, for a pack!&rdquo; sang the Pilgrim gray,</em></span><br />
+ <span style="margin-left: .7em;">&ldquo;<em>And a stout oak staff for friend,</em></span><br />
+<em>And it&#8217;s over the hills and far away</em><br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;"><em>To the Land of Rainbow&#8217;s-End.</em>&rdquo;</span></p>
+
+
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_97" id="Page_97">[Pg 97]</a></span></p>
+<p><strong>A BALLADE OF A BORE</strong></p>
+
+
+<p>
+ When the weather is warm and the glass running high<br />
+ And the odors of Araby tincture the air;<br />
+ When the sun is aloft in a white and blue sky,<br />
+ And the morrow holds promise of falling as fair;&mdash;<br />
+ In spring or in summer I&#8217;m free to declare,<br />
+ And the same I am equally free to maintain,<br />
+ One person has power my peace to impair:<br />
+ The man who tells limericks gives me a pain.</p>
+
+<p>
+ When the foliage flushes and summer is by,<br />
+ And russet and red are the popular wear;<br />
+ When the song of the woodland is changed to a sigh<br />
+ And the horn of the hunter is heard by the hare;&mdash;<br />
+ In the season of autumn I&#8217;m free to declare,<br />
+ And my language is lucid and simple and plain,<br />
+ One person&#8217;s acquaintance I freely forswear:<br />
+ The man with the limerick gives me a pain.</p>
+
+<p>
+ When the landscape is iced and the snow feathers fly,<br />
+ When the fields are all bald and the trees are all bare,<br />
+ And the prospect which nature presents to the eye<br />
+ Is chiefly distinguished by glitter and glare;&mdash;<br />
+<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_98" id="Page_98">[Pg 98]</a></span>
+ In the season of winter I&#8217;m free to declare<br />
+ That the limerick person is flat and inane.<br />
+ This person, I think, we could easily spare:<br />
+ The man who tells limericks gives me a pain.</p>
+
+<p>&nbsp;</p>
+<p>
+ <span style="margin-left: 3em;"><em>L&#8217;Envoi</em></span></p>
+
+<p>
+ From New Year to Christmas I&#8217;m free to declare<br />
+ That, for ways that are dull and for verse that is vain,<br />
+ One bore is peculiar&mdash;and not at all rare:<br />
+ The man with the limerick gives me a pain.</p>
+
+
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_99" id="Page_99">[Pg 99]</a></span></p>
+<p><strong>THE POLE</strong></p>
+
+<p style="margin-left: 3em;">(<em>Tune</em>: &ldquo;<em>Carcassonne.</em>&rdquo;)</p>
+
+
+<p>
+ I&#8217;m an old man, I&#8217;m eighty-three,<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">I seldom get away;</span><br />
+ My work, it keeps me close at home&mdash;<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">I have no time for play.</span><br />
+ If it were not for the journey back,<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">That so fatigues a soul,</span><br />
+ I&#8217;d like to take a little trip&mdash;<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">I never have seen the Pole.</span></p>
+
+<p>
+ &#8217;Tis said that in that favored place<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">There is no heat or drouth;</span><br />
+ And that, whichever way you turn,<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">You&#8217;re looking south-by-south.</span><br />
+ Some say there is a flagstaff there,<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">Some say there is a hole.</span><br />
+ Think of the years that I have lived<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">And never have seen the Pole!</span></p>
+
+<p>
+ The parson a hundred times is right&mdash;<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">We ought to stay at home.</span><br />
+ I&#8217;m an old man, I&#8217;m eighty-three,<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">I have no call to roam.</span><br />
+ And yet if I could somehow find<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">The time&mdash;God bless my soul!&mdash;</span><br />
+ I think that I would die content<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">If I only could see the Pole!</span></p>
+
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_100" id="Page_100">[Pg 100]</a></span>
+ My brother has seen Baraboo,<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">If so he speak the truth;</span><br />
+ My wife and son they both have been<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">As far as to Duluth;</span><br />
+ My cousin cruised to Eastport, Maine,<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">On a ship that carried coal;</span><br />
+ I&#8217;ve been as far as Mackinac&mdash;<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">But I never have seen the Pole!</span></p>
+
+
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_101" id="Page_101">[Pg 101]</a></span></p>
+<p><strong>SH-H-H-H!</strong></p>
+
+<p style="margin-left: 3em;">
+&ldquo;<em>Mr. Mabie is now reading the summer books.</em>&rdquo;<br />
+<span style="margin-left: 5em;" class="smcap">&mdash;The Ladies&#8217; Home Journal.</span></p>
+
+
+<p>
+ What shall we buy for a summer&#8217;s day?<br />
+ What is good reading and what is not?<br />
+ Mabie will tell us&mdash;we wait his say;<br />
+ For Mabie alone can know what&#8217;s what.<br />
+ Meanwhile the world is as still as death;<br />
+ Mute inquiry is in men&#8217;s looks;<br />
+ Everybody is holding his breath&mdash;<br />
+ Mabie is reading the summer books.</p>
+
+<p>
+ The suns are at pause in the cosmic race;<br />
+ The mills of the gods have ceased to grind;<br />
+ The only sound that is heard in space<br />
+ Is the rhythmic clicking of Mabie&#8217;s mind.<br />
+ Elsewhere silence, or near or far&mdash;<br />
+ Chattering Pleiads or babbling brooks;<br />
+ For the whisper has passed from star to star:<br />
+<span style="margin-left: -.3em;">&ldquo;Mabie is reading the summer books.&rdquo;</span></p>
+
+
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_102" id="Page_102">[Pg 102]</a></span></p>
+<p><strong>THE VANISHED FAY</strong></p>
+
+
+<p>
+ Tell me, whither do they go,<br />
+ All the Little Ones we know?<br />
+ They &ldquo;grow up&rdquo; before our eyes,<br />
+ And the fairy spirit flies.<br />
+ Time the Piper, pied and gay&mdash;<br />
+ Does he lure them all away?<br />
+ Do they follow after him,<br />
+ Over the horizon&#8217;s brim?</p>
+
+<p>
+ Daughter&#8217;s growing fair to see,<br />
+ Slim and straight as popple tree.<br />
+ Still a child in heart and head,<br />
+ But&mdash;the fairy spirit&#8217;s fled.<br />
+ As a fay at break of day,<br />
+ Little One has flown away,<br />
+ On the stroke of fairy bell&mdash;<br />
+ When and whither, who can tell?</p>
+
+<p>
+ Still her childish fancies weave<br />
+ In the Land of Make Believe;<br />
+ And her love of magic lore<br />
+ Is as avid as before.<br />
+ Dollies big and dollies small<br />
+ Still are at her beck and call.<br />
+ But for all this pleasant play,<br />
+ Little One has gone away.</p>
+
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_103" id="Page_103">[Pg 103]</a></span>
+ Whither, whither have they flown,<br />
+ All the fays we all have known?<br />
+ To what &ldquo;faery lands forlorn&rdquo;<br />
+ On the sound of elfin horn?<br />
+ As she were a woodland sprite,<br />
+ Little One has vanished quite.<br />
+ Waves the wand of Oberon:<br />
+ Cock has crowed&mdash;the fay is gone!</p>
+
+
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_104" id="Page_104">[Pg 104]</a></span></p>
+<p><strong>AUTUMN REVERY</strong></p>
+
+
+<p>
+ When the leaves are falling crimson<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">And the worm is off its feed,</span><br />
+ When the rag weed and the jimson<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">Have agreed to go to seed,</span><br />
+ When the air in forest bowers<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">Has a tang like Rhenish wine,</span><br />
+ And to breathe it for two hours<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">Makes you feel you&#8217;d like to dine,</span><br />
+ When the frost is on the pumpkin<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">And the corn is in the shock,</span><br />
+ And the cheek of country bumpkin<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">City faces seems to mock,&mdash;</span><br />
+ When you come across a ditty<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">(Like this one) of Autumn&#8217;s charm,</span><br />
+ Then it&#8217;s pleasant in the city,<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">Where they keep the houses warm.</span></p>
+
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_105" id="Page_105">[Pg 105]</a></span></p>
+<p><strong>THE RECOIL</strong></p>
+
+
+<p>
+ I met a friend of lofty brow&mdash;<br />
+ As lofty as the laws allow.<br />
+ I said to him, &ldquo;You&#8217;ll know, I&#8217;m sure&mdash;<br />
+ What&#8217;s doing now in litrychoor?&rdquo;<br />
+ Said he: &ldquo;I hate the very name;<br />
+ I&#8217;m weary of the blooming game.<br />
+ I read, whenever I have time,<br />
+ Something by Phillips Oppenheim.&rdquo;</p>
+
+<p>
+<span style="margin-left: -.3em;">&ldquo;Cheer up!&rdquo; said I. &ldquo;What&#8217;s new in Art?&mdash;</span><br />
+ You drift around the picture mart.<br />
+ What do you think of Mr. Blum?&mdash;<br />
+ Some say he&#8217;s great, some say he&#8217;s bum.&rdquo;<br />
+<span style="margin-left: -.3em;">&ldquo;I&#8217;m strong for Blum,&rdquo; my friend replied;</span><br />
+<span style="margin-left: -.3em;">&ldquo;His pictures are so queer and pied.</span><br />
+ I wouldn&#8217;t change them if I could;<br />
+ I&#8217;d rather have things queer than good.&rdquo;</p>
+
+<p>
+ I spoke of this, I spoke of that,<br />
+ But everything was stale and flat.<br />
+ Said I, &ldquo;You once adored the chaste,<br />
+ You used to have such perfect taste.&rdquo;<br />
+<span style="margin-left: -.3em;">&ldquo;Good taste,&rdquo; he wailed, &ldquo;brings but distress,</span><br />
+ &#8217;Tis an affliction, nothing less;<br />
+ While those whose taste is punk and vile<br />
+ Are happy all the blessed while.&rdquo;</p>
+
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_106" id="Page_106">[Pg 106]</a></span>
+<span style="margin-left: -.3em;">&ldquo;Oh, take a brace, old man!&rdquo; said I.</span><br />
+<span style="margin-left: -.3em;">&ldquo;Let me prescribe a nip of rye,</span><br />
+ And then we&#8217;ll go to see a play;<br />
+ I&#8217;ve two for Barrymore to-day.&rdquo;<br />
+<span style="margin-left: -.3em;">&ldquo;No, no,&rdquo; he groaned; &ldquo;&#8217;twould be a bore,</span><br />
+ With all respect to Barrymore.&rdquo;<br />
+ Said I: &ldquo;Then whither shall we go?&rdquo;<br />
+ Said he: &ldquo;A moving picture show.&rdquo;</p>
+
+
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_107" id="Page_107">[Pg 107]</a></span></p>
+<p><strong>THE CORONATION</strong></p>
+
+<p style="margin-left: 4em;"><em>Lang Syne.</em></p>
+
+
+<p>
+ Twas a holy mystery<br />
+ In the days of chivalry.<br />
+ More than pageant was the Rite<br />
+ In the sight of clod and knight.<br />
+ Sword and Scepter, Orb and Rod,<br />
+ Faith in self and faith in God;<br />
+ Oaths of Homage fiercely flung,<br />
+ Faith in heart and faith in tongue;&mdash;<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">Gone the things that meaning gave</span><br />
+ <span style="margin-left: .7em;">&ldquo;With the old world to the grave.&rdquo;</span></p>
+
+<p>&nbsp;</p>
+<p style="margin-left: 4em;">1911.</p>
+
+<p>
+ Knightly faith was born to fade:<br />
+ Now the Rite is masquerade.<br />
+ Now a cockney paladin<br />
+ Winds a penny horn of tin.<br />
+ Where in reverence heads were bowed<br />
+ Surges now a careless crowd;<br />
+<span style="margin-left: -.3em;">&ldquo;Muddied oafs&rdquo; and &ldquo;flanneled fools&rdquo;</span><br />
+ Jostle &ldquo;Yanks&rdquo; with camping stools;&mdash;<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">Gone the things that meaning gave</span><br />
+ <span style="margin-left: .7em;">&ldquo;With the old world to the grave.&rdquo;</span></p>
+
+
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_108" id="Page_108">[Pg 108]</a></span></p>
+<p><strong>SONS OF BATTLE</strong></p>
+
+
+<p>
+ Let us have peace, and Thy blessing,<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">Lord of the Wind and the Rain,</span><br />
+ When we shall cease from oppressing,<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">From all injustice refrain;</span><br />
+ When we hate falsehood and spurn it;<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">When we are men among men.</span><br />
+ Let us have peace when we earn it&mdash;<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">Never an hour till then.</span></p>
+
+<p>
+ Let us have rest in Thy garden,<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">Lord of the Rock and the Green,</span><br />
+ When there is nothing to pardon,<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">When we are whitened and clean.</span><br />
+ Purge us of skulking and treason,<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">Help us to put them away.</span><br />
+ We shall have rest in Thy season;<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">Till then the heat of the fray.</span></p>
+
+<p>
+ Let us have peace in Thy pleasure,<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">Lord of the Cloud and the Sun;</span><br />
+ Grant to us &aelig;ons of leisure<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">When the long battle is done.</span><br />
+ Now we have only begun it;<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">Stead us!&mdash;we ask nothing more.</span><br />
+ Peace&mdash;rest&mdash;but not till we&#8217;ve won it&mdash;<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">Never an hour before.</span></p>
+
+
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_109" id="Page_109">[Pg 109]</a></span></p>
+<p><strong>MY LADY NEW YORK</strong></p>
+
+
+<p>
+ O siren of tresses peroxide,<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">And heart that is hard as a flint,</span><br />
+ Blue orbs of complacency ox-eyed,<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">That light at the mark of the mint,</span><br />
+ Ears only for jingle of joybells,<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">A conscience as light as a cork&mdash;</span><br />
+ You are wedded to follies and foibles,<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">My Lady New York.</span></p>
+
+<p>
+ True, you have (not enough, tho&#8217;, to hurt you)<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">Your moods and your manners austere;</span><br />
+ You have visions and vapors of virtue,<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">And &ldquo;reform&rdquo; for a time has your ear;</span><br />
+ But of chaste Puritanic embraces<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">You soon have enough and to spare,</span><br />
+ And then you kick over the traces,<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">And virtue forswear.</span></p>
+
+<p>
+ So go it, milady! Foot fleetly<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">The paths that are primrose and gay;</span><br />
+ Abandon your fancy completely<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">To follies and fads of the day.</span><br />
+<span style="margin-left: -.3em;">&ldquo;Reform&rdquo; is a something that throttles</span><br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">The joys of the pace that&#8217;s intense&mdash;</span><br />
+ Smash hearts, reputations, and bottles,<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">And ding the expense!</span></p>
+
+
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_110" id="Page_110">[Pg 110]</a></span></p>
+<p><strong>BALLADE OF THE PIPESMOKE CARRY</strong></p>
+
+
+<p>
+ The Ancient Wood is white and still,<br />
+ Over the pines the bleak wind blows,<br />
+ Voiceless the brook and mute the rill,<br />
+ Silence too where the river flows.<br />
+ Still I catch the scent of the rose<br />
+ And hear the white-throat&#8217;s roundelay,<br />
+ Footing the trail that Memory knows,<br />
+ Over the hills and far away.</p>
+
+<p>
+ I have only a pipe to fill:<br />
+ Weaving, wreathing rings disclose<br />
+ A trail that flings straight up the hill,<br />
+ Straight as an arrow&#8217;s flight. For those<br />
+ Who fare by night the pole star glows<br />
+ Above the mountain top. By day<br />
+ A blasted pine the pathway shows<br />
+ Over the hills and far away.</p>
+
+<p>
+ The Ancient Wood is white and chill,<br />
+ But what know I of wintry woes?<br />
+ The Pipesmoke Trail is mine at will&mdash;<br />
+ Naught may hinder and none oppose.<br />
+ Such the power the pipe bestows,<br />
+ When the wilderness calls I may<br />
+ Tramping go, as I smoke and doze,<br />
+ Over the hills and far away.</p>
+
+<p>&nbsp;</p>
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_111" id="Page_111">[Pg 111]</a></span>
+ <span style="margin-left: 3em;"><em>L&#8217;Envoi</em></span></p>
+
+<p>
+ Deep in the canyons lie the snows:<br />
+ They shall vanish if I but say&mdash;<br />
+ If my fancy a-roving goes<br />
+ Over the hills and far away.</p>
+
+
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_112" id="Page_112">[Pg 112]</a></span></p>
+<p><strong>POST-VACATIONAL</strong></p>
+
+
+<p>
+ You have heard that mildewed story,<br />
+ That tradition horned and hoary,<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">That it wearies one to roam,</span><br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 3em;">Past a doubt;</span><br />
+ That one vainly on vacation<br />
+ Tries to find recuperation,<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">Till he hunts his happy home</span><br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 3em;">Tuckered out.</span></p>
+
+<p>
+ That abroad there is no comfort,<br />
+ That a man must journey home for &#8217;t&mdash;<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">You have heard that whiskered wheeze,</span><br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 3em;">Have you not?</span><br />
+ &#8217;Tis a commonplace to cavil<br />
+ At the &ldquo;luxuries of travel,&rdquo;<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">For in travel lack of ease</span><br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 3em;">Is your lot.</span></p>
+
+<p>
+ You have heard that gag historic;<br />
+ It was often sprung by Yorick;<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">It&#8217;s as old as Noah&#8217;s ark</span><br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 3em;">And its crew.</span><br />
+ It&#8217;s the commonest (at basis)<br />
+ Of all common commonplaces;&mdash;<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">So I merely would remark</span><br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 3em;">That&mdash;it&#8217;s true.</span></p>
+
+
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_113" id="Page_113">[Pg 113]</a></span></p>
+<p><strong>THE BARDS WE QUOTE</strong></p>
+
+
+<p>
+ Whene&#8217;er I quote I seldom take<br />
+ From bards whom angel hosts environ;<br />
+ But usually some damned rake<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 4em;">Like Byron.</span></p>
+
+<p>
+ Of Whittier I think a lot,<br />
+ My fancy to him often turns;<br />
+ But when I quote &#8217;tis some such sot<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 4em;">As Burns.</span></p>
+
+<p>
+ I&#8217;m very fond of Bryant, too,<br />
+ He brings to me the woodland smelly;<br />
+ Why should I quote that &ldquo;village roo,&rdquo;<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 4em;">P. Shelley?</span></p>
+
+<p>
+ I think Felicia Hemans great,<br />
+ I dote upon Jean Ingelow;<br />
+ Yet quote from such a reprobate<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 4em;">As Poe.</span></p>
+
+<p>
+ To quote from drunkard or from rake<br />
+ Is not a proper thing to do.<br />
+ I find the habit hard to break,<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 4em;">Don&#8217;t you?</span></p>
+
+
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_114" id="Page_114">[Pg 114]</a></span></p>
+<p><strong>THE PERSISTENT POET</strong></p>
+
+
+<p>
+<span style="margin-left: -.3em;">&ldquo;I remember, I remember&rdquo;&mdash;</span><br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">Something special? Not a bit.</span><br />
+ But, you see, this is November,<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">And Remember rimes with it.</span></p>
+
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_115" id="Page_115">[Pg 115]</a></span></p>
+<p><strong>HENCE THESE RIMES</strong></p>
+
+
+<p>
+ Tho&#8217; my verse is exact,<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">Tho&#8217; it flawlessly flows,</span><br />
+ As a matter of fact<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">I would rather write prose.</span></p>
+
+<p>
+ While my harp is in tune,<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">And I sing like the birds,</span><br />
+ I would really as soon<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">Write in straightaway words.</span></p>
+
+<p>
+ Tho&#8217; my songs are as sweet<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">As Apollo e&#8217;er piped,</span><br />
+ And my lines are as neat<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">As have ever been typed,</span></p>
+
+<p>
+ I would rather write prose&mdash;<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">I prefer it to rime;</span><br />
+ It&#8217;s less hard to compose,<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">And it takes me less time.</span></p>
+
+<p>
+<span style="margin-left: -.3em;">&ldquo;Well, if that be the case,&rdquo;</span><br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">You are moved to inquire,</span><br />
+<span style="margin-left: -.3em;">&ldquo;Why appropriate space</span><br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">For extolling your lyre?&rdquo;</span></p>
+
+<p>
+ I can only reply<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">That this form I elect</span><br />
+ &#8217;Cause it pleases the eye,<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">And I like the effect.</span></p>
+
+
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_116" id="Page_116">[Pg 116]</a></span></p>
+<p><strong>THE OLD ROLLER TOWEL</strong></p>
+
+
+<p>
+ How dear to this heart is the old roller towel<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">Which fond recollection presents to my view.</span><br />
+ It hung like a pall on the wall of the washroom,<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">And gathered the grime of the linotype crew.</span><br />
+ The sink and the soap and the lye that stood by it<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">Remain; but the towel is gone past recall.</span><br />
+ O tempora! Also, O mores! Sic transit<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">The time-honored towel that creaked on the wall.</span><br />
+ The grimy old towel, the slimy old towel,<br />
+ The tacky old towel that hung on the wall.</p>
+
+<p>
+ Now hangs in the washroom a huge roll of paper&mdash;<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">The old printer&#8217;s towel we&#8217;ll never see more.</span><br />
+ The new (see directions) is &ldquo;used like a blotter,&rdquo;<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">And crumpled and scattered in wads on the floor.</span><br />
+ And often, when drying my hands in this fashion,<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">The tears of remembrance will gather and fall,</span><br />
+ And I sigh (though I&#8217;m not what you&#8217;d call sentimental)<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">For the classic old towel that propped up the wall.</span><br />
+ The sainted old towel, the tainted old towel,<br />
+ The gooey old towel that hung on the wall.</p>
+
+
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_117" id="Page_117">[Pg 117]</a></span></p>
+<p><strong>UP CULTURE&#8217;S HILL</strong></p>
+
+<p style="margin-left: 3em;">(<em>The confession of a club lady.</em>)</p>
+
+
+<p>
+ The path up Culture&#8217;s Hill is steep,<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">And weary is the way,</span><br />
+ With very little time for sleep<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">And none at all for play.</span></p>
+
+<p>
+ She that this toilsome task essays<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">Must never bat an eye,</span><br />
+ But keep her firm, unwavering gaze<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">Forever fixed on high.</span></p>
+
+<p>
+ For should she ever careless grow,<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">And let her glances stray</span><br />
+ Down to the shallow vale below,<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">Where Pleasure&#8217;s Court holds sway&mdash;</span></p>
+
+<p>
+ Lured by the thrice forbidden fruit,<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">She&#8217;d lose her equipoise,</span><br />
+ And like a wayward Pleiad shoot<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">Down to forbidden joys.</span></p>
+
+<p>
+ I&#8217;ve been but short time on the road,<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">My courage still is strong;</span><br />
+ Yet often have I felt the goad<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">That hurries me along.</span></p>
+
+<p>
+ I&#8217;ve fallen over Maeterlinck,<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">And bumped myself to tears,</span><br />
+ Burne-Jones&#8217;s pictures made me blink,<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">And Wagner hurts my ears.</span></p>
+
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_118" id="Page_118">[Pg 118]</a></span>
+ I&#8217;ve stumbled over Ibsen humps<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">And over Rembrandt rocks,</span><br />
+ I&#8217;ve got some fierce Debussy bumps,<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">Some awful Nietsche knocks.</span></p>
+
+<p>
+ I&#8217;m wearied by the ceaseless quest,<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">I&#8217;m wayworn and footsore.</span><br />
+ I&#8217;ve Culture till I cannot rest&mdash;<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">Yet still I climb for more.</span></p>
+
+<p>
+ But oh, when all is done and said,<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">Upon some manly breast</span><br />
+ I&#8217;d like to lay my tired head<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">And take a good long rest.</span></p>
+
+
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_119" id="Page_119">[Pg 119]</a></span></p>
+<p><strong>THE PASSIONAL NOTE</strong></p>
+
+<p>&ldquo;<em>The erotic motive is almost entirely absent from American
+poetry. Even our younger American poets are more
+profoundly interested in the why and wherefore of things
+than in the girdle of Helen or the gleaming limbs of &lsquo;the
+white implacable Aphrodite.&rsquo;</em>&rdquo;<br />
+<span style="margin-left: 15em;" class="smcap">&mdash;Mr. Sylvester Viereck.</span></p>
+
+
+<p>
+ In the years of my season erotic,<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">When Eros was lord of my days,</span><br />
+ And I loved, with a love idiotic,<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">The Mabels and Madges and Mays;</span><br />
+ When a purple and passionate lyric<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">Would sing all the night in my head,&mdash;</span><br />
+ I yearned, like the young Mr. Viereck,<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">For everything red.</span></p>
+
+<p>
+ I doted on poems of passion,<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">And put my own pantings in rime,</span><br />
+ To celebrate, after a fashion,<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">The damsels who took up my time.</span><br />
+ I fed upon Swinburne, believe me,<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">I feasted on Byron and Burns,</span><br />
+ And couplets from Sappho would give me<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">Most exquisite turns.</span></p>
+
+<p>
+ How apparent it was that our songbirds&mdash;<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">Our Emerson, Lowell, and Payne,</span><br />
+ And Bryant and Drake&mdash;were the wrong birds<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">To pipe to the passional strain.</span><br />
+<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_120" id="Page_120">[Pg 120]</a></span>
+ There was, in a word, nothing doing<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">In all of the rimes that they wrote;</span><br />
+ They seemed to be always pursuing<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">The ethical note.</span></p>
+
+<p>
+ What truth, I inquired, was so mighty,<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">What ethical thing was so rare,</span><br />
+ As the limbs of the white Aphrodite<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">Or a strand of her heaven-kissed hair!</span><br />
+ The girdle of red-headed Helen<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">Outweighed all the wherefores and whys,</span><br />
+ And Wisdom elected to dwell in<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">A pair of blue eyes.</span></p>
+
+<p>
+<em>Now</em> lyrical sizzlers and scorchers<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">Fail somehow to set me ablaze;</span><br />
+ No longer are exquisite tortures<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">Provoked by these passionate lays.</span><br />
+ I&#8217;ve tinned&mdash;and I can&#8217;t say I&#8217;ve missed &#8217;em&mdash;<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">The poems of passion and sin.</span><br />
+<em>Some</em> things one gets out of one&#8217;s system,<br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;">And other things <em>in</em>.</span></p>
+
+
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_121" id="Page_121">[Pg 121]</a></span></p>
+<p><strong><em>L&#8217;ENVOI.</em></strong></p>
+
+
+<p>
+<span style="margin-left: -.3em;">&ldquo;<em>Go, little book,&rdquo; as Poet Southey said;</em></span><br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;"><em>You might be better and you might be worse.</em></span><br />
+ <em>With just one word of warning you are sped:</em><br />
+ <span style="margin-left: 1em;"><em>Remember, you&#8217;re not Poetry&mdash;you&#8217;re Verse.</em></span></p>
+
+</div>
+
+<hr style="width: 95%;" />
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_123" id="Page_123">[Pg 123]</a></span></p>
+<h2>Index</h2>
+
+
+<div class='center'>
+<table border="0" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" summary="">
+
+<tr> <td align='left'>Always</td> <td align='right'><a href="#Page_82">82</a></td> </tr>
+<tr> <td align='left'>Autumn Revery</td> <td align='right'><a href="#Page_104">104</a></td> </tr>
+<tr> <td align='left'>Ballad of Misfits</td> <td align='right'><a href="#Page_63">63</a></td> </tr>
+<tr> <td align='left'>Ballade of a Bore</td> <td align='right'><a href="#Page_97">97</a></td> </tr>
+<tr> <td align='left'>Ballade of the Cannery</td> <td align='right'><a href="#Page_86">86</a></td> </tr>
+<tr> <td align='left'>Ballade of Cap and Bells</td> <td align='right'><a href="#Page_76">76</a></td> </tr>
+<tr> <td align='left'>Ballade of Death and Time</td> <td align='right'><a href="#Page_28">28</a></td> </tr>
+<tr> <td align='left'>Ballade of Irresolution</td> <td align='right'><a href="#Page_68">68</a></td> </tr>
+<tr> <td align='left'>Ballade of the Pipesmoke Carry</td> <td align='right'><a href="#Page_110">110</a></td> </tr>
+<tr> <td align='left'>Ballade of Spring&#8217;s Unrest</td> <td align='right'><a href="#Page_22">22</a></td> </tr>
+<tr> <td align='left'>Ballade of Wool-Gathering</td> <td align='right'><a href="#Page_48">48</a></td> </tr>
+<tr> <td align='left'>Bards We Quote, The</td> <td align='right'><a href="#Page_113">113</a></td> </tr>
+<tr> <td align='left'>Bread Puddynge</td> <td align='right'><a href="#Page_42">42</a></td> </tr>
+<tr> <td align='left'>Breakfast Food Family, The</td> <td align='right'><a href="#Page_19">19</a></td> </tr>
+<tr> <td align='left'>Coronation, The</td> <td align='right'><a href="#Page_107">107</a></td> </tr>
+<tr> <td align='left'>Day of the Comet, The</td> <td align='right'><a href="#Page_66">66</a></td> </tr>
+<tr> <td align='left'>Dinosaur, The</td> <td align='right'><a href="#Page_75">75</a></td> </tr>
+<tr> <td align='left'>Dornr&ouml;schen</td> <td align='right'><a href="#Page_34">34</a></td> </tr>
+<tr> <td align='left'>&ldquo;Farewell&rdquo;</td> <td align='right'><a href="#Page_36">36</a></td> </tr>
+<tr> <td align='left'>Gentle Doctor Brown</td> <td align='right'><a href="#Page_78">78</a></td> </tr>
+<tr> <td align='left'>Hence These Rimes</td> <td align='right'><a href="#Page_115">115</a></td> </tr>
+<tr> <td align='left'>Horace: A Note from Mr. Flaccus</td> <td align='right'><a href="#Page_54">54</a></td> </tr>
+<tr> <td align='left'><span style="margin-left: 1.5em;">I. To Aristius Fuscus</span></td> <td align='right'><a href="#Page_56">56</a></td> </tr>
+<tr> <td align='left'><span style="margin-left: 1.3em;">II. Duetto</span></td> <td align='right'><a href="#Page_57">57</a></td> </tr>
+<tr> <td align='left'><span style="margin-left: 1em;">III. To Pyrrha</span></td> <td align='right'><a href="#Page_59">59</a></td> </tr>
+<tr> <td align='left'><span style="margin-left: 1em;">IV. To Aristius Fuscus</span></td> <td align='right'><a href="#Page_60">60</a></td> </tr>
+<tr> <td align='left'><span style="margin-left: 1.3em;">V. To Sylvia</span></td> <td align='right'><a href="#Page_62">62</a></td> </tr>
+<tr> <td align='left'>How They Might Have Brought the Good News</td> <td align='right'><a href="#Page_73">73</a></td> </tr>
+<tr> <td align='left'>In the Gallery</td> <td align='right'><a href="#Page_80">80</a></td> </tr>
+<tr> <td align='left'>In the Lamplight</td> <td align='right'><a href="#Page_17">17</a></td> </tr>
+<tr> <td align='left'>Kaiser&#8217;s Farewell, The</td> <td align='right'><a href="#Page_30">30</a></td> </tr>
+<tr> <td align='left'>Land of Rainbow&#8217;s-End, The</td> <td align='right'><a href="#Page_95">95</a></td> </tr>
+<tr> <td align='left'>Laundry of Life, The</td> <td align='right'><a href="#Page_93">93</a></td> </tr>
+<tr> <td align='left'>Lay of St. Ambrose</td> <td align='right'><a href="#Page_9">9</a></td> </tr>
+<tr> <td align='left'>Miss Legion</td> <td align='right'><a href="#Page_27">27</a></td> </tr>
+<tr> <td align='left'>Modern Mariner, The</td> <td align='right'><a href="#Page_84">84</a></td> </tr>
+<tr> <td align='left'>Morning After, The</td> <td align='right'><a href="#Page_67">67</a></td> </tr>
+<tr> <td align='left'>Musca Domestica</td> <td align='right'><a href="#Page_45">45</a></td> </tr>
+<tr> <td align='left'>My Lady New York</td> <td align='right'><a href="#Page_109">109</a></td> </tr>
+<tr> <td align='left'>Old Roller Towel, The</td> <td align='right'><a href="#Page_116">116</a></td> </tr>
+<tr> <td align='left'>Oriental Apology, An</td> <td align='right'><a href="#Page_65">65</a></td> </tr>
+<tr> <td align='left'>Pandean Pipedreams</td> <td align='right'><a href="#Page_88">88</a></td> </tr>
+<tr> <td align='left'>Passional Note, The</td> <td align='right'><a href="#Page_119">119</a></td> </tr>
+<tr> <td align='left'>Passionate Professor, The</td> <td align='right'><a href="#Page_47">47</a></td> </tr>
+<tr> <td align='left'>Persistent Poet, The</td> <td align='right'><a href="#Page_114">114</a></td> </tr>
+<tr> <td align='left'>Pole, The</td> <td align='right'><a href="#Page_99">99</a></td> </tr>
+<tr> <td align='left'>Post-Vacational</td> <td align='right'><a href="#Page_112">112</a></td> </tr>
+<tr> <td align='left'>Recoil, The</td> <td align='right'><a href="#Page_105">105</a></td> </tr>
+<tr> <td align='left'>Reform in Our Town</td> <td align='right'><a href="#Page_38">38</a></td> </tr>
+<tr> <td align='left'>Rime of the Clark Street Cable</td> <td align='right'><a href="#Page_25">25</a></td> </tr>
+<tr> <td align='left'>Sh-h-h-h!</td> <td align='right'><a href="#Page_101">101</a></td> </tr>
+<tr> <td align='left'>Simple, Heartfelt Lay, The</td> <td align='right'><a href="#Page_53">53</a></td> </tr>
+<tr> <td align='left'>Sons of Battle</td> <td align='right'><a href="#Page_108">108</a></td> </tr>
+<tr> <td align='left'>To a Tall Spruce</td> <td align='right'><a href="#Page_14">14</a></td> </tr>
+<tr> <td align='left'>To Lillian Russell</td> <td align='right'><a href="#Page_32">32</a></td> </tr>
+<tr> <td align='left'>To the Sun</td> <td align='right'><a href="#Page_50">50</a></td> </tr>
+<tr> <td align='left'>To What Base Uses</td> <td align='right'><a href="#Page_70">70</a></td> </tr>
+<tr> <td align='left'>&ldquo;Treasure Island&rdquo;</td> <td align='right'><a href="#Page_21">21</a></td> </tr>
+<tr> <td align='left'>Up Culture&#8217;s Hill</td> <td align='right'><a href="#Page_117">117</a></td> </tr>
+<tr> <td align='left'>Vanished Fay, The</td> <td align='right'><a href="#Page_102">102</a></td> </tr>
+<tr> <td align='left'>When It Is Hot</td> <td align='right'><a href="#Page_51">51</a></td> </tr>
+<tr> <td align='left'>When the Sirup&#8217;s on the Flapjack</td> <td align='right'><a href="#Page_41">41</a></td> </tr>
+<tr> <td align='left'>Why?</td> <td align='right'><a href="#Page_24">24</a></td> </tr>
+<tr> <td align='left'>Wisdom in a Capsule</td> <td align='right'><a href="#Page_94">94</a></td> </tr>
+
+</table></div>
+
+<div>*** END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK 30038 ***</div>
+</body>
+</html>
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