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diff --git a/29891.txt b/29891.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..95702ef --- /dev/null +++ b/29891.txt @@ -0,0 +1,1593 @@ +The Project Gutenberg EBook of The Rector, by Mrs. (Margaret) Oliphant + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: The Rector + +Author: Mrs. (Margaret) Oliphant + +Release Date: September 2, 2009 [EBook #29891] +[Last updated: March 11, 2013] + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ASCII + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE RECTOR *** + + + + +Produced by Delphine Lettau and the Online Distributed +Proofreading Canada Team at http://www.pgdpcanada.net + + + + + + + + + +Chronicles of Carlingford + + + + +THE RECTOR + +BY + +MRS OLIPHANT + + +NEW EDITION +_WILLIAM BLACKWOOD AND SONS_ +EDINBURGH AND LONDON + + + + +CHRONICLES OF CARLINGFORD + +THE RECTOR + + + + +CHAPTER I. + + +It is natural to suppose that the arrival of the new Rector was a rather +exciting event for Carlingford. It is a considerable town, it is true, +nowadays, but then there are no alien activities to disturb the place--no +manufactures, and not much trade. And there is a very respectable amount +of very good society at Carlingford. To begin with, it is a pretty +place--mild, sheltered, not far from town; and naturally its very +reputation for good society increases the amount of that much-prized +article. The advantages of the town in this respect have already put +five per cent upon the house-rents; but this, of course, only refers +to the _real_ town, where you can go through an entire street of high +garden-walls, with houses inside full of the retired exclusive comforts, +the dainty economical refinement peculiar to such places; and where the +good people consider their own society as a warrant of gentility less +splendid, but not less assured, than the favour of Majesty itself. +Naturally there are no Dissenters in Carlingford--that is to say, none +above the rank of a greengrocer or milkman; and in bosoms devoted to +the Church it may be well imagined that the advent of the new Rector was +an event full of importance, and even of excitement. + +He was highly spoken of, everybody knew; but nobody knew who had spoken +highly of him, nor had been able to find out, even by inference, what +were his views. The Church had been Low during the last Rector's +reign--profoundly Low--lost in the deepest abysses of Evangelicalism. A +determined inclination to preach to everybody had seized upon that good +man's brain; he had half emptied Salem Chapel, there could be no doubt; +but, on the other hand, he had more than half filled the Chapel of St +Roque, half a mile out of Carlingford, where the perpetual curate, young, +handsome, and fervid, was on the very topmost pinnacle of Anglicanism. +St Roque's was not more than a pleasant walk from the best quarter of +Carlingford, on the north side of the town, thank heaven! which one +could get at without the dread passage of that new horrid suburb, to +which young Mr Rider, the young doctor, was devoting himself. But the +Evangelical rector was dead, and his reign was over, and nobody could +predict what the character of the new administration was to be. The +obscurity in which the new Rector had buried his views was the most +extraordinary thing about him. He had taken high honours at college, +and was "highly spoken of;" but whether he was High, or Low, or Broad, +muscular or sentimental, sermonising or decorative, nobody in the world +seemed able to tell. + +"Fancy if he were just to be a Mr Bury over again! Fancy him going to +the canal, and having sermons to the bargemen, and attending to all +sorts of people except to us, whom it is his duty to attend to!" cried +one of this much-canvassed clergyman's curious parishioners. "Indeed I +do believe he must be one of these people. If he were in society at all, +somebody would be sure to know." + +"Lucy dear, Mr Bury christened you," said another not less curious but +more tolerant inquirer. + +"Then he did you the greatest of all services," cried the third member +of the little group which discussed the new Rector under Mr Wodehouse's +blossomed apple-trees. "He conferred such a benefit upon you that he +deserves all reverence at your hand. Wonderful idea! a man confers this +greatest of Christian blessings on multitudes, and does not himself +appreciate the boon he conveys!" + +"Well, for that matter, Mr Wentworth, you know----" said the elder lady; +but she got no farther. Though she was verging upon forty, leisurely, +pious, and unmarried, that good Miss Wodehouse was not polemical. She +had "her own opinions," but few people knew much about them. She was +seated on a green garden-bench which surrounded the great May-tree in +that large, warm, well-furnished garden. The high brick walls, all +clothed with fruit-trees, shut in an enclosure of which not a morsel +except this velvet grass, with its nests of daisies, was not under the +highest and most careful cultivation. It was such a scene as is only to +be found in an old country town; the walls jealous of intrusion, yet +thrusting tall plumes of lilac and stray branches of apple-blossom, like +friendly salutations to the world without; within, the blossoms drooping +over the light bright head of Lucy Wodehouse underneath the apple-trees, +and impertinently flecking the Rev. Frank Wentworth's Anglican coat. +These two last were young people, with that indefinable harmony in +their looks which prompts the suggestion of "a handsome couple" to the +bystander. It had not even occurred to them to be in love with each +other, so far as anybody knew, yet few were the undiscerning persons who +saw them together without instinctively placing the young curate of St +Roque's in permanence by Lucy's side. She was twenty, pretty, blue-eyed, +and full of dimples, with a broad Leghorn hat thrown carelessly on her +head, untied, with broad strings of blue ribbon falling among her fair +curls--a blue which was "repeated," according to painter jargon, in +ribbons at her throat and waist. She had great gardening gloves on, +and a basket and huge pair of scissors on the grass at her feet, which +grass, besides, was strewed with a profusion of all the sweetest spring +blossoms--the sweet narcissus, most exquisite of flowers, lilies of the +valley, white and blue hyacinths, golden ranunculus globes--worlds of +sober, deep-breathing wallflower. If Lucy had been doing what her kind +elder sister called her "duty," she would have been at this moment +arranging her flowers in the drawing-room; but the times were rare when +Lucy did her duty according to Miss Wodehouse's estimate; so instead of +arranging those clusters of narcissus, she clubbed them together in her +hands into a fragrant dazzling sheaf, and discussed the new Rector--not +unaware, perhaps, in her secret heart, that the sweet morning, the +sunshine and flowers, and exhilarating air, were somehow secretly +enhanced by the presence of that black Anglican figure under the +apple-trees. + +"But I suppose," said Lucy, with a sigh, "we must wait till we see him; +and if I must be very respectful of Mr Bury because he christened me, I +am heartily glad the new Rector has no claim upon my reverence. I have +been christened, I have been confirmed----" + +"But, Lucy, my dear, the chances are he will marry you," said Miss +Wodehouse, calmly; "indeed, there can be no doubt that it is only +natural he should, for he _is_ the Rector, you know; and though we go +so often to St Roque's, Mr Wentworth will excuse me saying that he is +a very young man." + +Miss Wodehouse was knitting; she did not see the sudden look of dismay +and amazement which the curate of St Roque's darted down upon her, nor +the violent sympathetic blush which blazed over both the young faces. +How shocking that elderly quiet people should have such a faculty for +suggestions! You may be sure Lucy Wodehouse and young Wentworth, had it +not been "put into their heads" in such an absurd fashion, would never, +all their virtuous lives, have dreamt of anything but friendship. Deep +silence ensued after this simple but startling speech. Miss Wodehouse +knitted on, and took no notice; Lucy began to gather up the flowers into +the basket, unable for her life to think of anything to say. For his +part, Mr Wentworth gravely picked the apple-blossoms off his coat, and +counted them in his hand. That sweet summer snow kept dropping, dropping, +falling here and there as the wind carried it, and with a special +attraction to Lucy and her blue ribbons; while behind, Miss Wodehouse +sat calmly on the green bench, under the May-tree just beginning to +bloom, without lifting her eyes from her knitting. Not far off, the +bright English house, all beaming with open doors and windows, shone in +the sunshine. With the white May peeping out among the green overhead, +and the sweet narcissus in a great dazzling sheaf upon the grass, making +all the air fragrant around them, can anybody fancy a sweeter domestic +out-of-door scene? or else it seemed so to the perpetual curate of St +Roque's. + +Ah me! and if he was to be perpetual curate, and none of his great +friends thought upon him, or had preferment to bestow, how do you +suppose he could ever, ever marry Lucy Wodehouse, if they were to wait +a hundred years? + +Just then the garden-gate--the green gate in the wall--opened to the +creaking murmur of Mr Wodehouse's own key. Mr Wodehouse was a man +who creaked universally. His boots were a heavy infliction upon the +good-humour of his household; and like every other invariable quality of +dress, the peculiarity became identified with him in every particular of +his life. Everything belonging to him moved with a certain jar, except, +indeed, his household, which went on noiseless wheels, thanks to Lucy +and love. As he came along the garden path, the gravel started all round +his unmusical foot. Miss Wodehouse alone turned round to hail her father's +approach, but both the young people looked up at her instinctively, and +saw her little start, the falling of her knitting-needles, the little +flutter of colour which surprise brought to her maidenly, middle-aged +cheek. How they both divined it I cannot tell, but it certainly was no +surprise to either of them when a tall embarrassed figure, following +the portly one of Mr Wodehouse, stepped suddenly from the noisy gravel +to the quiet grass, and stood gravely awkward behind the father of the +house. + +"My dear children, here's the Rector--delighted to see him! we're all +delighted to see him!" cried Mr Wodehouse. "This is my little girl Lucy, +and this is my eldest daughter. They're both as good as curates, though +I say it, you know, as shouldn't. I suppose you've got something tidy +for lunch, Lucy, eh? To be sure you ought to know--how can I tell? She +might have had only cold mutton, for anything I knew--and that won't do, +you know, after college fare. Hollo, Wentworth! I beg your pardon--who +thought of seeing you here? I thought you had morning service, and all +that sort of thing. Delighted to make you known to the Rector so soon. +Mr Proctor--Mr Wentworth of St Roque's." + +The Rector bowed. He had no time to say anything, fortunately for him; +but a vague sort of colour fluttered over his face. It was his first +living; and cloistered in All-Souls for fifteen years of his life, how +is a man to know all at once how to accost his parishioners? especially +when these curious unknown specimens of natural life happen to be female +creatures, doubtless accustomed to compliment and civility. If ever any +one was thankful to hear the sound of another man's voice, that person was +the new Rector of Carlingford, standing in the bewildering garden-scene +into which the green door had so suddenly admitted him, all but treading +on the dazzling bundle of narcissus, and turning with embarrassed +politeness from the perpetual curate, whose salutation was less cordial +than it might have been, to those indefinite flutters of blue ribbon +from which Mr Proctor's tall figure divided the ungracious young man. + +"But come along to lunch. Bless me! don't let us be too ceremonious," +cried Mr Wodehouse. "Take Lucy, my dear sir--take Lucy. Though she has +her garden-gloves on, she's manager indoors for all that. Molly here is +the one we coddle up and take care of. Put down your knitting, child, +and don't make an old woman of yourself. To be sure, it's your own +concern--you should know best; but that's my opinion. Why, Wentworth, +where are you off to? 'Tisn't a fast, surely--is it, Mary?--nothing of +the sort; it's Thursday--_Thursday_, do you hear? and the Rector newly +arrived. Come along." + +"I am much obliged, but I have an appointment," began the curate, with +restraint. + +"Why didn't you keep it, then, before _we_ came in," cried Mr Wodehouse, +"chatting with a couple of girls like Lucy and Mary? Come along, come +along--an appointment with some old woman or other, who wants to screw +flannels and things out of you--well, I suppose so! I don't know anything +else you could have to say to them. Come along." + +"Thank you. I shall hope to wait on the Rector shortly," said young +Wentworth, more and more stiffly; "but at present I am sorry it is not +in my power. Good morning, Miss Wodehouse--good morning; I am happy to +have had the opportunity----" and the voice of the perpetual curate died +off into vague murmurs of politeness as he made his way towards the +green door. + +That green door! what a slight, paltry barrier--one plank and no more; but +outside a dusty dry road, nothing to be seen but other high brick walls, +with here and there an apple-tree or a lilac, or the half-developed +flower-turrets of a chestnut looking over--nothing to be seen but a mean +little costermonger's cart, with a hapless donkey, and, down in the +direction of St Roque's, the long road winding, still drier and dustier. +Ah me! was it paradise inside? or was it only a merely mortal lawn dropped +over with apple-blossoms, blue ribbons, and other vanities? Who could +tell? The perpetual curate wended sulky on his way. I fear the old woman +would have made neither flannel nor tea and sugar out of him in that +inhuman frame of mind. + +"Dreadful young prig that young Wentworth," said Mr Wodehouse, "but +comes of a great family, you know, and gets greatly taken notice of--to +be sure he does, child. I suppose it's for his family's sake: I can't +see into people's hearts. It may be higher motives, to be sure, and all +that. He's gone off in a huff about something; never mind, luncheon +comes up all the same. Now, let's address ourselves to the business of +life." + +For when Mr Wodehouse took knife and fork in hand a singular result +followed. He was silent--at least he talked no longer: the mystery +of carving, of eating, of drinking--all the serious business of the +table--engrossed the good man. He had nothing more to say for the +moment; and then a dread unbroken silence fell upon the little company. +The Rector coloured, faltered, cleared his throat--he had not an idea +how to get into conversation with such unknown entities. He looked hard +at Lucy, with a bold intention of addressing her; but, having the bad +fortune to meet her eye, shrank back, and withdrew the venture. Then the +good man inclined his profile towards Miss Wentworth. His eyes wandered +wildly round the room in search of a suggestion; but, alas! it was a +mere dining-room, very comfortable, but not imaginative. In his dreadful +dilemma he was infinitely relieved by the sound of somebody's voice. + +"I trust you will like Carlingford, Mr Proctor," said Miss Wodehouse, +mildly. + +"Yes--oh yes; I trust so," answered the confused but grateful man; "that +is, it will depend very much, of course, on the kind of people I find +here." + +"Well, we are a little vain. To tell the truth, indeed, we rather pride +ourselves a little on the good society in Carlingford," said his gentle +and charitable interlocutor. + +"Ah, yes--ladies?" said the Rector: "hum--that was not what I was +thinking of." + +"But, oh, Mr Proctor," cried Lucy, with a sudden access of fun, "you +don't mean to say that you dislike ladies' society, I hope?" + +The Rector gave an uneasy half-frightened glance at her. The creature +was dangerous even to a Fellow of All-Souls. + +"I may say I know very little about them," said the bewildered +clergyman. As soon as he had said the words he thought they sounded +rude; but how could he help it?--the truth of his speech was +indisputable. + +"Come here, and we'll initiate you--come here as often as you can spare +us a little of your time," cried Mr Wodehouse, who had come to a pause +in his operations. "You couldn't have a better chance. They're head +people in Carlingford, though I say it. There's Mary, she's a learned +woman; take you up in a false quantity, sir, a deal sooner than I +should. And Lucy, she's in another line altogether; but there's quantities +of people swear by her. What's the matter, children, eh? I suppose +so--people tell me so. If people tell me so all day long, I'm entitled +to believe it, I presume?" + +Lucy answered this by a burst of laughter, not loud but cordial, which +rang sweet and strange upon the Rector's ears. Miss Wodehouse, on the +contrary, looked a little ashamed, blushed a pretty pink old-maidenly +blush, and mildly remonstrated with papa. The whole scene was astonishing +to the stranger. He had been living out of nature so long that he +wondered within himself whether it was common to retain the habits and +words of childhood to such an age as that which good Miss Wodehouse put +no disguise upon, or if sisters with twenty years of difference between +them were usual in ordinary households. He looked at them with looks +which to Miss Wodehouse appeared disapproving, but which in reality +meant only surprise and discomfort. He was exceedingly glad when lunch +was over, and he was at liberty to take his leave. With very different +feelings from those of young Wentworth the Rector crossed the boundary +of that green door. When he saw it closed behind him he drew a long +breath of relief, and looked up and down the dusty road, and through +those lines of garden walls, where the loads of blossom burst over +everywhere, with a sensation of having escaped and got at liberty. After +a momentary pause and gaze round him in enjoyment of that liberty, the +Rector gave a start and went on again rapidly. A dismayed, discomfited, +helpless sensation came over him. These parishioners!--these female +parishioners! From out of another of those green doors had just emerged +a brilliant group of ladies, the rustle of whose dress and murmur of +whose voices he could hear in the genteel half-rural silence. The Rector +bolted: he never slackened pace nor drew breath till he was safe in the +vacant library of the Rectory, among old Mr Bury's book-shelves. It +seemed the only safe place in Carlingford to the languishing +transplanted Fellow of All-Souls. + + + + +CHAPTER II. + + +A month later, Mr Proctor had got fairly settled in his new rectory, +with a complete modest establishment becoming his means--for Carlingford +was a tolerable living. And in the newly-furnished sober drawing-room +sat a very old lady, lively but infirm, who was the Rector's mother. +Nobody knew that this old woman kept the Fellow of All-Souls still a +boy at heart, nor that the reserved and inappropriate man forgot his +awkwardness in his mother's presence. He was not only a very affectionate +son, but a dutiful good child to her. It had been his pet scheme for +years to bring her from her Devonshire cottage, and make her mistress of +his house. That had been the chief attraction, indeed, which drew him +to Carlingford; for had he consulted his own tastes, and kept to his +college, who would insure him that at seventy-five his old mother might +not glide away out of life without that last gleam of sunshine long +intended for her by her grateful son? + +This scene, accordingly, was almost the only one which reconciled him +to the extraordinary change in his life. There she sat, the lively old +lady; very deaf, as you could almost divine by that vivid inquiring +twinkle in her eyes; feeble too, for she had a silver-headed cane beside +her chair, and even with that assistance seldom moved across the room +when she could help it. Feeble in body, but alert in mind, ready to read +anything, to hear anything, to deliver her opinions freely; resting in +her big chair in the complete repose of age, gratified with her son's +attentions, and over-joyed in his company; interested about everything, +and as ready to enter into all the domestic concerns of the new people +as if she had lived all her life among them. The Rector sighed and +smiled as he listened to his mother's questions, and did his best, at +the top of his voice, to enlighten her. His mother was, let us say, a +hundred years or so younger than the Rector. If she had been his bride, +and at the blithe commencement of life, she could not have shown more +inclination to know all about Carlingford. Mr Proctor was middle-aged, +and preoccupied by right of his years; but his mother had long ago got +over that stage of life. She was at that point when some energetic +natures, having got to the bottom of the hill, seem to make a fresh +start and reascend. Five years ago, old Mrs Proctor had completed the +human term; now she had recommenced her life. + +But, to tell the very truth, the Rector would very fain, had that been +possible, have confined her inquiries to books and public affairs. For +to make confidential disclosures, either concerning one's self or other +people, in a tone of voice perfectly audible in the kitchen, is somewhat +trying. He had become acquainted with those dread parishioners of +his during this interval. Already they had worn him to death with +dinner-parties--dinner-parties very pleasant and friendly, when one got +used to them; but to a stranger frightful reproductions of each other, +with the same dishes, the same dresses, the same stories, in which the +Rector communicated gravely with his next neighbour, and eluded as long +as he could those concluding moments in the drawing-room which were worst +of all. It cannot be said that his parishioners made much progress in +their knowledge of the Rector. What his "views" were, nobody could divine +any more than they could before his arrival. He made no innovations +whatever; but he did not pursue Mr Bury's Evangelical ways, and never +preached a sermon or a word more than was absolutely necessary. When +zealous Churchmen discussed the progress of Dissent, the Rector scarcely +looked interested; and nobody could move him to express an opinion +concerning all that lovely upholstery with which Mr Wentworth had +decorated St Roque's. People asked in vain, what was he? He was neither +High nor Low, enlightened nor narrow-minded; he was a Fellow of All-Souls. + +"But now tell me, my dear," said old Mrs Proctor, "who's Mr Wodehouse?" + +With despairing calmness, the Rector approached his voice to her ear. +"He's a churchwarden!" cried the unfortunate man, in a shrill whisper. + +"He's what?--you forget I don't hear very well. I'm a great deal deafer, +Morley, my dear, than I was the last time you were in Devonshire. What +did you say Mr Wodehouse was?" + +"He's an ass!" exclaimed the baited Rector. + +Mrs Proctor nodded her head with a great many little satisfied assenting +nods. + +"Exactly my own opinion, my dear. What I like in your manner of +expressing yourself, Morley, is its conciseness," said the laughing old +lady. "Just so--exactly what I imagined; but being an ass, you know, +doesn't account for him coming here so often. What is he besides, my +dear?" + +The Rector made spasmodic gestures towards the door, to the great +amusement of his lively mother; and then produced, with much confusion +and after a long search, his pocketbook, on a leaf of paper in which he +wrote--loudly, in big characters--"He's a churchwarden--they'll hear in +the kitchen." + +"He's a churchwarden! And what if they do hear in the kitchen?" cried +the old lady, greatly amused; "it isn't a sin. Well, now, let me hear: +has he a family, Morley?" + +Again Mr Proctor showed a little discomposure. After a troubled look at +the door, and pause, as if he meditated a remonstrance, he changed his +mind, and answered, "Two daughters!" shouting sepulchrally into his +mother's ear. + +"Oh so!" cried the old lady--"_two daughters_--so, so--that explains it +all at once. I know now why he comes to the Rectory so often. And, I +declare, I never thought of it before. Why, you're always there!--so, +so--and he's got _two daughters_, has he? To be sure; now I understand +it all." + +The Rector looked helpless and puzzled. It was difficult to take +the initiative and ask why--but the poor man looked so perplexed and +ignorant, and so clearly unaware what the solution was, that the old +lady burst into shrill, gay laughter as she looked at him. + +"I don't believe you know anything about it," she said. "Are they old or +young? are they pretty or ugly? Tell me all about them, Morley." + +Now Mr Proctor had not the excuse of having forgotten the appearance of +the two Miss Wodehouses: on the contrary, though not an imaginative man, +he could have fancied he saw them both before him--Lucy lost in noiseless +laughter, and her good elder sister deprecating and gentle as usual. We +will not even undertake to say that a gleam of something blue did not +flash across the mind of the good man, who did not know what ribbons +were. He was so much bewildered that Mrs Proctor repeated her question, +and, as she did so, tapped him pretty smartly on the arm to recall his +wandering thoughts. + +"One's one thing," at last shouted the confused man, "and t'other's +another!" An oracular deliverance which surely must have been entirely +unintelligible in the kitchen, where we will not deny that an utterance +so incomprehensible awoke a laudable curiosity. + +"My dear, you're lucid!" cried the old lady, "I hope you don't preach +like that. T'other's another!--is she so? and I suppose that's the one +you're wanted to marry--eh? For shame, Morley, not to tell your +mother!" + +The Rector jumped to his feet, thunderstruck. Wanted to marry!--the +idea was too overwhelming and dreadful--his mind could not receive it. +The air of alarm which immediately diffused itself all over him--his +unfeigned horror at the suggestion--captivated his mother. She was +amused, but she was pleased at the same time. Just making her cheery +outset on this second lifetime, you can't suppose she would have been +glad to hear that her son was going to jilt her, and appoint another +queen in her stead. + +"Sit down and tell me about them," said Mrs Proctor; "my dear, you're +wonderfully afraid of the servants hearing. They don't know who we're +speaking of. Aha! and so you didn't know what they meant--didn't you? I +don't say you shouldn't marry, my dear--quite the reverse. A man _ought_ +to marry, one time or another. Only it's rather soon to lay their plans. +I don't doubt there's a great many unmarried ladies in your church, +Morley. There always is in a country place." + +To this the alarmed Rector answered only by a groan--a groan so +expressive that his quick-witted mother heard it with her eyes. + +"They will come to call on me," said Mrs Proctor, with fun dancing in +her bright old eyes. "I'll tell you all about them, and you needn't be +afraid of the servants. Trust to me, my dear--I'll find them out. And +now, if you wish to take a walk, or go out visiting, don't let me detain +you, Morley. I shouldn't wonder but there's something in the papers I +would like to see--or I even might close my eyes for a few minutes: the +afternoon is always a drowsy time with me. When I was in Devonshire, you +know, no one minded what I did. You had better refresh yourself with a +nice walk, my dear boy." + +The Rector got up well pleased. The alacrity with which he left the +room, however, did not correspond with the horror-stricken and helpless +expression of his face, when, after walking very smartly all round the +Rectory garden, he paused with his hand on the gate, doubtful whether to +retreat into his study, or boldly to face that world which was plotting +against him. The question was a profoundly serious one to Mr Proctor. He +did not feel by any means sure that he was a free agent, or could assert +the ordinary rights of an Englishman, in this most unexpected dilemma. +How could he tell how much or how little was necessary to prove that a +man had "committed himself"? For anything he could tell, somebody might +be calculating upon him as her lover, and settling his future life for +him. The Rector was not vain--he did not think himself an Adonis; he +did not understand anything about the matter, which indeed was beneath +the consideration of a Fellow of All-Souls. But have not women been +incomprehensible since ever there was in this world a pen with sufficient +command of words to call them so? And is it not certain that, whether +it may be to their advantage or disadvantage, every soul of them is +plotting to marry somebody? Mr Proctor recalled in dim but frightful +reminiscences stories which had dropped upon his ear at various times +of his life. Never was there a man, however ugly, disagreeable, or +penniless, but he could tell of a narrow escape he had, some time +or other. The Rector recollected and trembled. No woman was ever +so dismayed by the persecutions of a lover, as was this helpless +middle-aged gentleman under the conviction that Lucy Wodehouse meant +to marry him. The remembrance of the curate of St Roque's gave him no +comfort: her sweet youth, so totally unlike his sober age, did not +strike him as unfavourable to her pursuit of him. Who could fathom +the motives of a woman? His mother was wise, and knew the world, and +understood what such creatures meant. No doubt it was entirely the +case--a dreadful certainty--and what was he to do? + +At the bottom of all this fright and perplexity must it be owned that +the Rector had a guilty consciousness within himself, that if Lucy drove +the matter to extremities, he was not so sure of his own powers of +resistance as he ought to be? She might marry him before he knew what +he was about; and in such a case the Rector could not have taken his +oath at his own private confessional that he would have been so deeply +miserable as the circumstances might infer. No wonder he was alarmed at +the position in which he found himself; nobody could predict how it +might end. + +When Mr Proctor saw his mother again at dinner, she was evidently full +of some subject which would not bear talking of before the servants. The +old lady looked at her son's troubled apprehensive face with smiles and +nods and gay hints, which he was much too preoccupied to understand, and +which only increased his bewilderment. When the good man was left alone +over his glass of wine, he drank it slowly, in funereal silence, with +profoundly serious looks; and what between eagerness to understand what +the old lady meant, and reluctance to show the extent of his curiosity, +had a very heavy half-hour of it in that grave solitary dining-room. He +roused himself with an effort from this dismal state into which he was +falling. He recalled with a sigh the classic board of All-Souls. Woe for +the day when he was seduced to forsake that dear retirement! Really, to +suffer himself to fall into a condition so melancholy, was far from +being right. He must rouse himself--he must find some other society +than parishioners; and with a glimpse of a series of snug little +dinner-parties, undisturbed by the presence of women, Mr Proctor rose +and hurried after his mother, to hear what new thing she might have to +say. + +Nor was he disappointed. The old lady was snugly posted, ready for a +conference. She made lively gestures to hasten him when he appeared at +the door, and could scarcely delay the utterance of her news till he had +taken his seat beside her. She had taken off her spectacles, and laid +aside her paper, and cleared off her work into her work-basket. All was +ready for the talk in which she delighted. + +"My dear, they've been here," said old Mrs Proctor, rubbing her +hands--"both together, and as kind as could be--exactly as I expected. +An old woman gets double the attention when she's got an unmarried son. +I've always observed that; though in Devonshire, what with your fellowship +and seeing you so seldom, nobody took much notice. Yes, they've been +here; and I like them a great deal better than I expected, Morley, my +dear." + +The Rector, not knowing what else to say, shouted "Indeed, mother!" into +the old lady's ear. + +"Quite so," continued that lively observer--"nice young women--not at +all like their father, which is a great consolation. That elder one is a +very sensible person, I am sure. She would make a nice wife for somebody, +especially for a clergyman. She is not in her first youth, but neither +are some other people. A very nice creature indeed, I am quite sure." + +During all this speech the Rector's countenance had been falling, falling. +If he was helpless before, the utter woe of his expression now was a +spectacle to behold. The danger of being married by proxy was appalling +certainly, yet was not entirely without alleviations; but Miss Wodehouse! +who ever thought of Miss Wodehouse? To see the last remains of colour +fade out of his cheek, and his very lip fall with disappointment, was +deeply edifying to his lively old mother. She perceived it all, but made +no sign. + +"And the other is a pretty creature--certainly pretty: shouldn't you say +she was pretty, Morley?" said his heartless mother. + +Mr Proctor hesitated, hemmed--felt himself growing red--tried to intimate +his sentiments by a nod of assent; but that would not do, for the old +lady had presented her ear to him, and was blind to all his gestures. + +"I don't know much about it, mother," he made answer at last. + +"_Much_ about it! it's to be hoped not. I never supposed you did; but +you don't mean to say you don't think her pretty?" said Mrs Proctor--"but, +I don't doubt in the least, a sad flirt. Her sister is a very superior +person, my dear." + +The Rector's face lengthened at every word--a vision of these two Miss +Wodehouses rose upon him every moment clearer and more distinct as his +mother spoke. Considering how ignorant he was of all such female +paraphernalia, it is extraordinary how correct his recollection was of +all the details of their habitual dress and appearance. With a certain +dreadful consciousness of the justice of what his mother said, he saw in +imagination the mild elder sister in her comely old-maidenhood. Nobody +could doubt her good qualities, and could it be questioned that for a +man of fifty, if he was to do anything so foolish, a woman not quite +forty was a thousand times more eligible than a creature in blue ribbons? +Still the unfortunate Rector did not seem to see it: his face grew +longer and longer--he made no answer whatever to his mother's address; +while she, with a spice of natural female malice against the common +enemy triumphing for the moment over the mother's admiration of her son, +sat wickedly enjoying his distress, and aggravating it. His dismay and +perplexity amused this wicked old woman beyond measure. + +"I have no doubt that younger girl takes a pleasure in deluding her +admirers," said Mrs Proctor; "she's a wicked little flirt, and likes +nothing better than to see her power. I know very well how such people +do; but, my dear," continued this false old lady, scarcely able to +restrain her laughter, "if I were you, I would be very civil to Miss +Wodehouse. You may depend upon it, Morley, that's a very superior +person. She is not very young, to be sure, but you are not very young +yourself. She would make a nice wife--not too foolish, you know, nor +fanciful. Ah! I like Miss Wodehouse, my dear." + +The Rector stumbled up to his feet hastily, and pointed to a table at +a little distance, on which some books were lying. Then he went and +brought them to her table. "I've brought you some new books," he shouted +into her ear. It was the only way his clumsy ingenuity could fall upon +for bringing this most distasteful conversation to an end. + +The old lady's eyes were dancing with fun and a little mischief, but, +notwithstanding, she could not be so false to her nature as to show no +interest in the books. She turned them over with lively remarks and +comment. "But for all that, Morley, I would not have you forget Miss +Wodehouse," she said, when her early bedtime came. "Give it a thought +now and then, and consider the whole matter. It is not a thing to be +done rashly; but still you know you are settled now, and you ought to be +thinking of settling for life." + +With this parting shaft she left him. The troubled Rector, instead of +sitting up to his beloved studies, went early to bed that night, and was +pursued by nightmares through his unquiet slumbers. Settling for life! +Alas! there floated before him vain visions of that halcyon world he had +left--that sacred soil at All-Souls, where there were no parishioners to +break the sweet repose. How different was this discomposing real world! + + + + +CHAPTER III. + + +Matters went on quietly for some time without any catastrophe occurring +to the Rector. He had shut himself up from all society, and declined the +invitations of the parishioners for ten long days at least; but finding +that the kind people were only kinder than ever when they understood he +was "indisposed," poor Mr Proctor resumed his ordinary life, confiding +timidly in some extra precautions which his own ingenuity had invented. +He was shyer than ever of addressing the ladies in those parties he was +obliged to attend. He was especially embarrassed and uncomfortable in +the presence of the two Miss Wodehouses, who, unfortunately, were very +popular in Carlingford, and whom he could not help meeting everywhere. +Notwithstanding this embarrassment, it is curious how well he knew how +they looked, and what they were doing, and all about them. Though he +could not for his life have told what these things were called, he knew +Miss Wodehouse's dove-coloured dress and her French grey; and all those +gleams of blue which set off Lucy's fair curls, and floated about her +pretty person under various pretences, had a distinct though inarticulate +place in the good man's confused remembrance. But neither Lucy nor Miss +Wodehouse had brought matters to extremity. He even ventured to go to +their house occasionally without any harm coming of it, and lingered in +that blooming fragrant garden, where the blossoms had given place to +fruit, and ruddy apples hung heavy on the branches which had once +scattered their petals, rosy-white, on Frank Wentworth's Anglican coat. +Yet Mr Proctor was not lulled into incaution by this seeming calm. +Other people besides his mother had intimated to him that there were +expectations current of his "settling in life." He lived not in false +security, but wise trembling, never knowing what hour the thunderbolt +might fall upon his head. + +It happened one day, while still in this condition of mind, that the +Rector was passing through Grove Street on his way home. He was walking +on the humbler side of the street, where there is a row of cottages with +little gardens in front of them--cheap houses, which are contented to be +haughtily overlooked by the staircase windows and blank walls of their +richer neighbours on the other side of the road. The Rector thought, but +could not be sure, that he had seen two figures like those of the Miss +Wodehouses going into one of these houses, and was making a little haste +to escape meeting those enemies of his peace. But as he wont hastily on, +he heard sobs and screams--sounds which a man who hid a good heart under +a shy exterior could not willingly pass by. He made a troubled pause +before the door from which these outcries proceeded, and while he stood +thus irresolute whether to pass on or to stop and inquire the cause, +some one came rushing out and took hold of his arm. "Please, sir, she's +dying--oh, please, sir, she thought a deal o' you. Please, will you come +in and speak to her?" cried the little servant-girl who had pounced +upon him so. The Rector stared at her in amazement. He had not his +prayer-book--he was not prepared; he had no idea of being called upon in +such an emergency. In the mean time the commotion rather increased in +the house, and he could hear in the distance a voice adjuring some one +to go for the clergyman. The Rector stood uncertain and perplexed, +perhaps in a more serious personal difficulty than had ever happened to +him all his life before. For what did he know about deathbeds? or what +had he to say to any one on that dread verge? He grew pale with real +vexation and distress. + +"Have they gone for a doctor? that would be more to the purpose," he +said, unconsciously, aloud. + +"Please, sir, it's no good," said the little maid-servant. "Please, the +doctor's been, but he's no good--and she's unhappy in her mind, though +she's quite resigned to go: and oh, please, if you would say a word to +her, it might do her a deal of good." + +Thus adjured, the Rector had no choice. He went gloomily into the house +and up the stair after his little guide. Why did not they send for the +minister of Salem Chapel close by? or for Mr Wentworth, who was +accustomed to that sort of thing? Why did they resort to him in such an +emergency? He would have made his appearance before the highest magnates +of the land--before the Queen herself--before the bench of bishops or +the Privy Council--with less trepidation than he entered that poor +little room. + +The sufferer lay breathing heavily in the poor apartment. She did not +look very ill to Mr Proctor's inexperienced eyes. Her colour was bright, +and her face full of eagerness. Near the door stood Miss Wodehouse, +looking compassionate but helpless, casting wistful glances at the bed, +but standing back in a corner as confused and embarrassed as the Rector +himself. Lucy was standing by the pillow of the sick woman with a watchful +readiness visible to the most unskilled eye--ready to raise her, to +change her position, to attend to her wants almost before they were +expressed. The contrast was wonderful. She had thrown off her bonnet +and shawl, and appeared, not like a stranger, but somehow in her natural +place, despite the sweet youthful beauty of her looks, and the gay girlish +dress with its floating ribbons. These singular adjuncts notwithstanding, +no homely nurse in a cotton gown could have looked more alert or +serviceable, or more natural to the position, than Lucy did. The poor +Rector, taking the seat which the little maid placed for him directly in +the centre of the room, looked at the nurse and the patient with a gasp +of perplexity and embarrassment. A deathbed, alas! was an unknown region +to him. + +"Oh, sir, I'm obliged to you for coming--oh, sir, I'm grateful to you," +cried the poor woman in the bed. "I've been ill, off and on, for years, +but never took thought to it as I ought. I've put off and put off, +waiting for a better time--and now, God help me, it's perhaps too late. +Oh, sir, tell me, when a person's ill and dying, is it too late?" + +Before the Rector could even imagine what he could answer, the sick woman +took up the broken thread of her own words, and continued-- + +"I don't feel to trust as I ought to--I don't feel no confidence," she +said, in anxious confession. "Oh, sir, do you think it matters if one +feels it?--don't you think things might be right all the same though +we _were_ uneasy in our minds? My thinking can't change it one way or +another. Ask the good gentleman to speak to me, Miss Lucy, dear--he'll +mind what _you_ say." + +A look from Lucy quickened the Rector's speech, but increased his +embarrassments. "It--it isn't her doctor she has no confidence in?" he +said, eagerly. + +The poor woman gave a little cry. "The doctor--the doctor! what can he +do to a poor dying creature? Oh, Lord bless you, it's none of them things +I'm thinking of; it's my soul--my soul!" + +"But my poor good woman," said Mr Proctor, "though it is very good and +praiseworthy of you to be anxious about your soul, let us hope that there +is no such--no such _haste_ as you seem to suppose." + +The patient opened her eyes wide, and stared, with the anxious look of +disease, in his face. + +"I mean," said the good man, faltering under that gaze, "that I see no +reason for your making yourself so very anxious. Let us hope it is not +so bad as that. You are very ill, but not _so_ ill--I suppose." + +Here the Rector was interrupted by a groan from the patient, and by a +troubled, disapproving, disappointed look from Lucy Wodehouse. This +brought him to a sudden standstill. He gazed for a moment helplessly at +the poor woman in the bed. If he had known anything in the world which +would have given her consolation, he was ready to have made any exertion +for it; but he knew nothing to say--no medicine for a mind diseased was +in his repositories. He was deeply distressed to see the disappointment +which followed his words, but his distress only made him more silent, +more helpless, more inefficient than before. + +After an interval which was disturbed only by the groans of the patient +and the uneasy fidgeting of good Miss Wodehouse in her corner, the Rector +again broke silence. The sick woman had turned to the wall, and closed +her eyes in dismay and disappointment--evidently she had ceased to +expect anything from him. + +"If there is anything I can do," said poor Mr Proctor, "I am afraid I +have spoken hastily. I meant to try to calm her mind a little; if I can +be of any use?" + +"Ah, maybe I'm hasty," said the dying woman, turning round again with a +sudden effort--"but, oh, to speak to me of having time when I've one +foot in the grave already!" + +"Not so bad as that--not so bad as that," said the Rector, soothingly. + +"But I tell you it is as bad as that," she cried, with the brief blaze +of anger common to great weakness. "I'm not a child to be persuaded +different from what I know. If you'd tell me--if you'd say a prayer--ah, +Miss Lucy, it's coming on again." + +In a moment Lucy had raised the poor creature in her arms, and in default +of the pillows which were not at hand, had risen herself into their +place, and supported the gasping woman against her own breast. It was a +paroxysm dreadful to behold, in which every labouring breath seemed the +last. The Rector sat like one struck dumb, looking on at that mortal +struggle. Miss Wodehouse approached nervously from behind, and went up +to the bedside, faltering forth questions as to what she could do. Lucy +only waved her hand, as her own light figure swayed and changed, always +seeking the easiest attitude for the sufferer. As the elder sister drew +back, the Rector and she glanced at each other with wistful mutual looks +of sympathy. Both were equally well-disposed, equally helpless and +embarrassed. How to be of any use in that dreadful agony of nature was +denied to both. They stood looking on, awed and self-reproaching. Such +scenes have doubtless happened in sick-rooms before now. + +When the fit was over, a hasty step came up the stair, and Mr Wentworth +entered the room. He explained in a whisper that he had not been at home +when the messenger came, but had followed whenever he heard of the +message. Seeing the Rector, he hesitated, and drew back with some +surprise, and, even (for he was far from perfect) in that chamber, a +little flush of offence. The Rector rose abruptly, waving his hand, +and went to join Miss Wodehouse in her corner. There the two elderly +spectators looked on silent at ministrations of which both were +incapable; one watching with wondering yet affectionate envy how Lucy +laid down the weakened but relieved patient upon her pillows; and one +beholding with a surprise he could not conceal, how a young man, not +half his own age, went softly, with all the confidence yet awe of +nature, into those mysteries which he dared not touch upon. The two +young creatures by the deathbed acknowledged that their patient was +dying; the woman stood by her watchful and affectionate--the man held up +before her that cross, not of wood or metal, but of truth and everlasting +verity, which is the only hope of man. The spectators looked on, and did +not interrupt--looked on, awed and wondering--unaware of how it was, but +watching, as if it were a miracle wrought before their eyes. Perhaps all +the years of his life had not taught the Rector so much as did that +half-hour in an unknown poor bed-chamber, where, honest and humble, +he stood aside, and, kneeling down, responded to his young brother's +prayer. His young brother--young enough to have been his son--not half +nor a quarter part so learned as he; but a world further on in that +profession which they shared--the art of winning souls. + +When those prayers were over, the Rector, without a word to anybody, +stole quietly away. When he got into the street, however, he found +himself closely followed by Miss Wodehouse, of whom he was not at this +moment afraid. That good creature was crying softly under her veil. She +was eager to make up to him, to open out her full heart; and indeed +the Rector, like herself, in that wonderful sensation of surprised and +unenvying discomfiture, was glad at that moment of sympathy too. + +"Oh, Mr Proctor, isn't it wonderful?" sighed good Miss Wodehouse. + +The Rector did not speak, but he answered by a very emphatic nod of his +head. + +"It did not use to be so when you and I were young," said his companion +in failure. "I sometimes take a little comfort from that; but no doubt, +if it had been in me, it would have shown itself somehow. Ah, I fear, I +fear, I was not well brought up; but, to be sure, that dear child has +not been brought up at all, if one may say so. Her poor mother died when +she was born. And oh, I'm afraid I never was kind to Lucy's mother, Mr +Proctor. You know she was only a year or two older than I was; and to +think of that child, that baby! What a world she is, and always was, +before me, that might have been her mother, Mr Proctor!" said Miss +Wodehouse, with a little sob. + +"But things were different in our young days," said the Rector, repeating +her sentiment, without inquiring whether it were true or not, and finding +a certain vague consolation in it. + +"Ah, that is true," said Miss Wodehouse--"that is true; what a blessing +things are so changed; and these blessed young creatures," she added +softly, with tears falling out of her gentle old eyes--"these blessed +young creatures are near the Fountainhead." + +With this speech Miss Wodehouse held out her hand to the Rector, +and they parted with a warm mutual grasp. The Rector went straight +home--straight to his study, where he shut himself in, and was not to be +disturbed; that night was one long to be remembered in the good man's +history. For the first time in his life he set himself to inquire what +was his supposed business in this world. His treatise on the Greek verb, +and his new edition of Sophocles, were highly creditable to the Fellow +of All-Souls; but how about the Rector of Carlingford? What was he doing +here, among that little world of human creatures who were dying, being +born, perishing, suffering, falling into misfortune and anguish, and all +manner of human vicissitudes, every day? Young Wentworth knew what to +say to that woman in her distress; and so might the Rector, had her +distress concerned a disputed translation, or a disused idiom. The good +man was startled in his composure and calm. To-day he had visibly failed +in a duty which even in All-Souls was certainly known to be one of the +duties of a Christian priest. Was he a Christian priest, or what was he? +He was troubled to the very depths of his soul. To hold an office the +duties of which he could not perform, was clearly impossible. The only +question, and that a hard one, was, whether he could learn to discharge +those duties, or whether he must cease to be Rector of Carlingford. He +laboured over this problem in his solitude, and could find no answer. +"Things were different when we were young," was the only thought that +was any comfort to him, and that was poor consolation. + +For one thing, it is hard upon the most magnanimous of men to confess +that he has undertaken an office for which he has not found himself +capable. Magnanimity was perhaps too lofty a word to apply to the +Rector; but he was honest to the bottom of his soul. As soon as he +became aware of what was included in the duties of his office, he must +perform them, or quit his post. But how to perform them? Can one _learn_ +to convey consolation to the dying, to teach the ignorant, to comfort +the sorrowful? Are these matters to be acquired by study, like Greek +verbs or intricate measures? The Rector's heart said No. The Rector's +imagination unfolded before him, in all its halcyon blessedness, that +ancient paradise of All-Souls, where no such confounding demands ever +disturbed his beatitude. The good man groaned within himself over the +mortification, the labour, the sorrow, which this living was bringing +upon him. "If I had but let it pass to Morgan, who wanted to marry," he +said with self-reproach; and then suddenly bethought himself of his own +most innocent filial romance, and the pleasure his mother had taken in +her new house and new beginning of life. At that touch the tide flowed +back again. Could he dismiss her now to another solitary cottage in +Devonshire, her old home there being all dispersed and broken up, while +the house she had hoped to die in cast her out from its long-hoped-for +shelter? The Rector was quite overwhelmed by this new aggravation. If by +any effort of his own, any sacrifice to himself, he could preserve this +bright new home to his mother, would he shrink from that labour of love? + +Nobody, however, knew anything about those conflicting thoughts which +rent his sober bosom. He preached next Sunday as usual, letting no trace +of the distressed, wistful anxiety to do his duty which now possessed +him gleam into his sermon. He looked down upon a crowd of unsympathetic, +uninterested faces, when he delivered that smooth little sermon, which +nobody cared much about, and which disturbed nobody. The only eyes which +in the smallest degree comprehended him were those of good Miss Wodehouse, +who had been the witness and the participator of his humiliation. Lucy +was not there. Doubtless Lucy was at St Roque's, where the sermons of +the perpetual curate differed much from those of the Rector of Carlingford. +Ah me! the rectorship, with all its responsibilities, was a serious +business; and what was to become of it yet, Mr Proctor could not see. +He was not a hasty man--he determined to wait and see what events might +make of it; to consider it ripely--to take full counsel with himself. +Every time he came out of his mother's presence, he came affected and +full of anxiety to preserve to her that home which pleased her so much. +She was the strong point in favour of Carlingford; and it was no small +tribute to the good man's filial affection, that for her chiefly he kept +his neck under the yoke of a service to which he knew himself unequal, +and, sighing, turned his back upon his beloved cloisters. If there had +been no other sick-beds immediately in Carlingford, Mrs Proctor would +have won the day. + + + + +CHAPTER IV. + + +Such a blessed exemption, however, was not to be hoped for. When the +Rector was solemnly sent for from his very study to visit a poor man +who was not expected to live many days, he put his prayer-book under +his arm, and went off doggedly, feeling that now was the crisis. He +went through it in as exemplary a manner as could have been desired, but +it was dreadful work to the Rector. If nobody else suspected him, he +suspected himself. He had no spontaneous word of encouragement or +consolation to offer; he went through it as his duty with a horrible +abstractness. That night he went home disgusted beyond all possible +power of self-reconciliation. He could not continue this. Good evangelical +Mr Bury, who went before him, and by nature loved preaching, had +accustomed the people to much of such visitations. It was murder to the +Fellow of All-Souls. + +That night Mr Proctor wrote a long letter to his dear cheery old mother, +disclosing all his heart to her. It was written with a pathos of which +the good man was wholly unconscious, and finished by asking her advice +and her prayers. He sent it up to her next morning on her breakfast +tray, which he always furnished with his own hands, and went out to +occupy himself in paying visits till it should be time to see her, and +ascertain her opinion. At Mr Wodehouse's there was nobody at home but +Lucy, who was very friendly, and took no notice of that sad encounter +which had changed his views so entirely. The Rector found, on inquiry, +that the woman was dead, but not until Mr Wentworth had administered to +her fully the consolations of the church. Lucy did not look superior, or +say anything in admiration of Mr Wentworth, but the Rector's conscience +supplied all that was wanting. If good Miss Wodehouse had been there +with her charitable looks, and her disefficiency so like his own, it +would have been a consolation to the good man. He would have turned +joyfully from Lucy and her blue ribbons to that distressed dove-coloured +woman, so greatly had recent events changed him. But the truth was, he +cared nothing for either of them nowadays. He was delivered from those +whimsical distressing fears. Something more serious had obliterated +those lighter apprehensions. He had no leisure now to think that +somebody had planned to marry him; all his thoughts were fixed on +matters so much more important that this was entirely forgotten. + +Mrs Proctor was seated as usual in the place she loved, with her +newspapers, her books, her work-basket, and silver-headed cane at +the side of her chair. The old lady, like her son, looked serious. +She beckoned him to quicken his steps when she saw him appear at the +drawing-room door, and pointed to the chair placed beside her, all ready +for this solemn conference. He came in with a troubled face, scarcely +venturing to look at her, afraid to see the disappointment which he had +brought upon his dearest friend. The old lady divined why it was he did +not lift his eyes. She took his hand and addressed him with all her +characteristic vivacity. + +"Morley, what is this you mean, my dear? When did I ever give my son +reason to distrust me? Do you think I would suffer you to continue in +a position painful to yourself for my sake? How dare you think such a +thing of me, Morley? Don't say so? you didn't mean it; I can see it in +your eyes." + +The Rector shook his head, and dropped into the chair placed ready +for him. He might have had a great deal to say for himself could she +have heard him. But as it was, he could not shout all his reasons and +apologies into her deaf ear. + +"As for the change to me," said the old lady, instinctively seizing upon +the heart of the difficulty, "that's nothing--simply nothing. I've not +had time to get attached to Carlingford. I've no associations with the +place. Of course I shall be very glad to go back to all my old friends. +Put that out of the question, Morley." + +But the Rector only shook his head once more. The more she made light of +it, the more he perceived all the painful circumstances involved. Could +his mother go back to Devonshire and tell all her old ladies that her +son had made a failure in Carlingford? He grieved within himself at the +thought. His brethren at All-Souls might understand _him_; but what could +console the brave old woman for all the condolence and commiseration to +which she would be subject? "It goes to my heart, mother," he cried in +her ear. + +"Well, Morley, I am very sorry you find it so," said the old lady; +"very sorry you can't see your way to all your duties. They tell me the +late rector was very Low Church, and visited about like a Dissenter, so +it is not much wonder you, with your different habits, find yourself a +good deal put out; but, my dear, don't you think it's only at first? +Don't you think after a while the people would get into your ways, and +you into theirs? Miss Wodehouse was here this morning, and was telling +me a good deal about the late rector. It's to be expected you should +find the difference; but by-and-by, to be sure, you might get used to +it, and the people would not expect so much." + +"Did she tell you where we met the other day?" asked the Rector, with a +brevity rendered necessary by Mrs Proctor's infirmity. + +"She told me--she's a dear confused good soul," said the old lady--"about +the difference between Lucy and herself, and how the young creature was +twenty times handier than she, and something about young Mr Wentworth of +St Roque's. Really, by all I hear, that must be a very presuming young +man," cried Mrs Proctor, with a lively air of offence. "His interference +among your parishioners, Morley, is really more than I should be +inclined to bear." + +Once more the good Rector shook his head. He had not thought of that aspect +of the subject. He was indeed so free from vanity or self-importance, +that his only feeling in regard to the sudden appearance of the +perpetual curate was respect and surprise. He would not be convinced +otherwise even now. "He can do his duty, mother," he answered, sadly. + +"Stuff and nonsense!" cried the old lady. "Do you mean to tell me a boy +like that can do his duty better than my son could do it, if he put his +mind to it? And if it is your duty, Morley, dear," continued his mother, +melting a little, and in a coaxing persuasive tone, "of course I know +you _will_ do it, however hard it may be." + +"That's just the difficulty," cried the Rector, venturing on a longer +speech than usual, and roused to a point at which he had no fear of the +listeners in the kitchen; "such duties require other training than mine +has been. I can't!--do you hear me, mother?--I must not hold a false +position; that's impossible." + +"You shan't hold a false position," cried the old lady; "that's the only +thing that _is_ impossible--but, Morley, let us consider, dear. You are +a clergyman, you know; you ought to understand all that's required of +you a great deal better than these people do. My dear, your poor father +and I trained you up to be a clergyman," said Mrs Proctor, rather +pathetically, "and not to be a Fellow of All-Souls." + +The Rector groaned. Had it not been advancement, progress, unhoped-for +good fortune, that made him a member of that learned corporation? He +shook his head. Nothing could change the fact now. After fifteen years' +experience of that Elysium, he could not put on the cassock and surplice +with all his youthful fervour. He had settled into his life-habits long +ago. With the quick perception which made up for her deficiency, his +mother read his face, and saw the cause was hopeless; yet with female +courage and pertinacity made one effort more. + +"And with an excellent hard-working curate," said the old lady--"a +curate whom, of course, we'd do our duty by, Morley, and who could take +a great deal of the responsibility off your hands; for Mr Leigh, though +a nice young man, is not, I know, the man _you_ would have chosen for +such a post; and still more, my dear son--we were talking of it in jest +not long ago, but it is perfect earnest, and a most important matter--with +a good wife, Morley; a wife who would enter into all the parish work, +and give you useful hints, and conduct herself as a clergyman's wife +should--with such a wife----" + +"Lucy Wodehouse!" cried the Rector, starting to his feet, and forgetting +all his proprieties; "I tell you the thing is impossible. I'll go back +to All-Souls." + +He sat down again doggedly, having said it. His mother sat looking at +him in silence, with tears in her lively old eyes. She was saying within +herself that she had seen his father take just such a "turn," and that +it was no use arguing with them under such circumstances. She watched +him as women often do watch men, waiting till the creature should come +to itself again and might be spoken to. The incomprehensibleness of +women is an old theory, but what is that to the curious wondering +observation with which wives, mothers, and sisters watch the other +unreasoning animal in those moments when he has snatched the reins out +of their hands, and is not to be spoken to! What he will make of it in +those unassisted moments, afflicts the compassionate female understanding. +It is best to let him come to, and feel his own helplessness. Such was +Mrs Proctor's conclusion, as, vexed, distressed, and helpless, she leant +back in her chair, and wiped a few tears of disappointment and vexation +out of her bright old eyes. + +The Rector saw this movement, and it once more excited him to speech. +"But you shall have a house in Oxford, mother," he cried--"you shan't go +back to Devonshire--where I can see you every day, and you can hear all +that is going on. Bravo! that will be a thousand times better than +Carlingford." + +It was now Mrs Proctor's turn to jump up, startled, and put her hand on +his mouth and point to the door. The Rector did not care for the door; +he had disclosed his sentiments, he had taken his resolution, and now +the sooner all was over the better for the emancipated man. + +Thus concluded the brief incumbency of the Reverend Morley Proctor. He +returned to Oxford before his year of grace was over, and found +everybody very glad to see him; and he left Carlingford with universal +good wishes. The living fell to Morgan, who wanted to be married, and +whose turn was much more to be a working clergyman than a classical +commentator. Old Mrs Proctor got a pretty house under shelter of the +trees of St Giles's, and half the under-graduates fell in love with the +old lady in the freshness of her second lifetime. Carlingford passed +away like a dream from the lively old mother's memory, and how could +any reminiscences of that uncongenial locality disturb the recovered +beatitude of the Fellow of All-Souls? + +Yet all was not so satisfactory as it appeared. Mr Proctor paid for his +temporary absence. All-Souls was not the Elysium it had been before that +brief disastrous voyage into the world. The good man felt the stings of +failure; he felt the mild jokes of his brethren in those Elysian fields. +He could not help conjuring up to himself visions of Morgan with his new +wife in that pretty rectory. Life, after all, did not consist of books, +nor were Greek verbs essential to happiness. The strong emotion into +which his own failure had roused him; the wondering silence in which he +stood looking at the ministrations of Lucy Wodehouse and the young +curate; the tearful sympathetic woman as helpless as himself, who had +stood beside him in that sick chamber, came back upon his recollection +strangely, amidst the repose, not so blessed as heretofore, of All-Souls. +The good man had found out that secret of discontent which most men find +out a great deal earlier than he. Something better, though it might be +sadder, harder, more calamitous, was in this world. Was there ever human +creature yet that had not something in him more congenial to the thorns +and briars outside to be conquered, than to that mild paradise for which +our primeval mother disqualified all her children? When he went back to +his dear cloisters, good Mr Proctor felt that sting: a longing for the +work he had rejected stirred in him--a wistful recollection of the +sympathy he had not sought. + +And if in future years any traveller, if travellers still fall upon +adventures, should light upon a remote parsonage in which an elderly +embarrassed Rector, with a mild wife in dove-coloured dresses, toils +painfully after his duty, more and more giving his heart to it, more and +more finding difficult expression for the unused faculty, let him be +sure that it is the late Rector of Carlingford, self-expelled out of the +uneasy paradise, setting forth untimely, yet not too late, into the +laborious world. + + +THE END. + +PRINTED BY WILLIAM BLACKWOOD AND SONS, EDINBURGH. + + + + +TRANSCRIBER'S NOTE + + Contemporary spellings have been retained even when inconsistent or + unusual. 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