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diff --git a/old/mt3bg11.txt b/old/mt3bg11.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..806ba19 --- /dev/null +++ b/old/mt3bg11.txt @@ -0,0 +1,9631 @@ +The Project Gutenberg Etext of Mark Twain, Biography, 1875-86, by Paine +#3 in our series by Albert Bigelow Paine + +Copyright laws are changing all over the world. Be sure to check the +copyright laws for your country before distributing this or any other +Project Gutenberg file. + +We encourage you to keep this file, exactly as it is, on your +own disk, thereby keeping an electronic path open for future +readers. Please do not remove this. + +This header should be the first thing seen when anyone starts to +view the etext. 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John Hay did as great work after forty as ever before, +so did Mark Twain, and both of them gained in intellectual strength and +public honor to the very end. + +Yet it must have seemed to many who knew him, and to himself, like +enough, that Mark Twain at forty had reached the pinnacle of his fame and +achievement. His name was on every lip; in whatever environment +observation and argument were likely to be pointed with some saying or +anecdote attributed, rightly or otherwise, to Mark Twain. "As Mark Twain +says," or, "You know that story of Mark Twain's," were universal and +daily commonplaces. It was dazzling, towering fame, not of the best or +most enduring kind as yet, but holding somewhere within it the structure +of immortality. + +He was in a constant state of siege, besought by all varieties and +conditions of humanity for favors such as only human need and abnormal +ingenuity can invent. His ever-increasing mail presented a marvelous +exhibition of the human species on undress parade. True, there were +hundreds of appreciative tributes from readers who spoke only out of a +heart's gratitude; but there were nearly as great a number who came with +a compliment, and added a petition, or a demand, or a suggestion, usually +unwarranted, often impertinent. Politicians, public speakers, aspiring +writers, actors, elocutionists, singers, inventors (most of them he had +never seen or heard of) cheerfully asked him for a recommendation as to +their abilities and projects. + +Young men wrote requesting verses or sentiments to be inscribed in young +ladies' autograph albums; young girls wrote asking him to write the story +of his life, to be used as a school composition; men starting obscure +papers coolly invited him to lend them his name as editor, assuring him +that he would be put to no trouble, and that it would help advertise his +books; a fruitful humorist wrote that he had invented some five thousand +puns, and invited Mark Twain to father this terrific progeny in book form +for a share of the returns. But the list is endless. He said once: + +"The symbol of the race ought to be a human being carrying an ax, for +every human being has one concealed about him somewhere, and is always +seeking the opportunity to grind it." + +Even P. T. Barnum had an ax, the large ax of advertising, and he was +perpetually trying to grind it on Mark Twain's reputation; in other +words, trying to get him to write something that would help to popularize +"The Greatest Show on Earth." + +There were a good many curious letters-letters from humorists, would-be +and genuine. A bright man in Duluth sent him an old Allen "pepper-box" +revolver with the statement that it had been found among a pile of bones +under a tree, from the limb of which was suspended a lasso and a buffalo +skull; this as evidence that the weapon was the genuine Allen which Bemis +had lost on that memorable Overland buffalo-hunt. Mark Twain enjoyed +that, and kept the old pepper-box as long as he lived. There were +letters from people with fads; letters from cranks of every description; +curious letters even from friends. Reginald Cholmondeley, that lovely +eccentric of Condover Hall, where Mr. and Mrs. Clemens had spent some +halcyon days in 1873, wrote him invitations to be at his castle on a +certain day, naming the hour, and adding that he had asked friends to +meet him. Cholmondeley had a fancy for birds, and spared nothing to +improve his collection. Once he wrote Clemens asking him to collect for +him two hundred and five American specimens, naming the varieties and the +amount which he was to pay for each. Clemens was to catch these birds +and bring them over to England, arriving at Condover on a certain day, +when there would be friends to meet him, of course. + +Then there was a report which came now and then from another English +castle--the minutes of a certain "Mark Twain Club," all neatly and +elaborately written out, with the speech of each member and the +discussions which had followed--the work, he found out later, of another +eccentric; for there was no Mark Twain Club, the reports being just the +mental diversion of a rich young man, with nothing else to do.--[In +Following the Equator Clemens combined these two pleasant characters in +one story, with elaborations.] + +Letters came queerly addressed. There is one envelope still in existence +which bears Clemens's name in elaborate design and a very good silhouette +likeness, the work of some talented artist. "Mark Twain, United States," +was a common address; "Mark Twain, The World," was also used; "Mark +Twain, Somewhere," mailed in a foreign country, reached him promptly, and +"Mark Twain, Anywhere," found its way to Hartford in due season. Then +there was a letter (though this was later; he was abroad at the time), +mailed by Brander Matthews and Francis Wilson, addressed, "Mark Twain, +God Knows Where." It found him after traveling half around the world on +its errand, and in his answer he said, "He did." Then some one sent a +letter addressed, "The Devil Knows Where." Which also reached him, and +he answered, "He did, too." + +Surely this was the farthest horizon of fame. + +Countless Mark Twain anecdotes are told of this period, of every period, +and will be told and personally vouched for so long as the last soul of +his generation remains alive. For seventy years longer, perhaps, there +will be those who will relate "personal recollections" of Mark Twain. +Many of them will be interesting; some of them will be true; most of them +will become history at last. It is too soon to make history of much of +this drift now. It is only safe to admit a few authenticated examples. + +It happens that one of the oftenest-told anecdotes has been the least +elaborated. It is the one about his call on Mrs. Stowe. Twichell's +journal entry, set down at the time, verifies it: + +Mrs. Stowe was leaving for Florida one morning, and Clemens ran over +early to say good-by. On his return Mrs. Clemens regarded him +disapprovingly: + +"Why, Youth," she said, "you haven't on any collar and tie." + +He said nothing, but went up to his room, did up these items in a neat +package, and sent it over by a servant, with a line: + +"Herewith receive a call from the rest of me." + +Mrs. Stowe returned a witty note, in which she said that he had +discovered a new principle, the principle of making calls by instalments, +and asked whether, in extreme cases, a man might not send his hat, coat, +and boots and be otherwise excused. + +Col. Henry Watterson tells the story of an after-theater supper at the +Brevoort House, where Murat Halstead, Mark Twain, and himself were +present. A reporter sent in a card for Colonel Watterson, who was about +to deny himself when Clemens said: + +"Give it to me; I'll fix it." And left the table. He came back in a +moment and beckoned to Watterson. + +"He is young and as innocent as a lamb," he said. "I represented myself +as your secretary. I said that you were not here, but if Mr. Halstead +would do as well I would fetch him out. I'll introduce you as Halstead, +and we'll have some fun." + +Now, while Watterson and Halstead were always good friends, they were +political enemies. It was a political season and the reporter wanted +that kind of an interview. Watterson gave it to him, repudiating every +principle that Halstead stood for, reversing him in every expressed +opinion. Halstead was for hard money and given to flying the "bloody +shirt" of sectional prejudice; Watterson lowered the bloody shirt and +declared for greenbacks in Halstead's name. Then he and Clemens returned +to the table and told frankly what they had done. Of course, nobody +believed it. The report passed the World night-editor, and appeared, +next morning. Halstead woke up, then, and wrote a note to the World, +denying the interview throughout. The World printed his note with the +added line: + +"When Mr. Halstead saw our reporter he had dined." + +It required John Hay (then on the Tribune) to place the joke where it +belonged. + +There is a Lotos Club anecdote of Mark Twain that carries the internal +evidence of truth. Saturday evening at the Lotos always brought a +gathering of the "wits," and on certain evenings--"Hens and chickens" +nights--each man had to tell a story, make a speech, or sing a song. On +one evening a young man, an invited guest, was called upon and recited a +very long poem. + +One by one those who sat within easy reach of the various exits melted +away, until no one remained but Mark Twain. Perhaps he saw the +earnestness of the young man, and sympathized with it. He may have +remembered a time when he would have been grateful for one such attentive +auditor. At all events, he sat perfectly still, never taking his eyes +from the reader, never showing the least inclination toward discomfort or +impatience, but listening, as with rapt attention, to the very last line. +Douglas Taylor, one of the faithful Saturday-night members, said to him +later: + +"Mark, how did you manage to sit through that dreary, interminable poem?" + +"Well," he said, "that young man thought he had a divine message to +deliver, and I thought he was entitled to at least one auditor, so I +stayed with him." + +We may believe that for that one auditor the young author was willing to +sacrifice all the others. + +One might continue these anecdotes for as long as the young man's poem +lasted, and perhaps hold as large an audience. But anecdotes are not all +of history. These are set down because they reflect a phase of the man +and an aspect of his life at this period. For at the most we can only +present an angle here and there, and tell a little of the story, letting +each reader from his fancy construct the rest. + + + + +CVI + +HIS FIRST STAGE APPEARANCE + +Once that winter the Monday Evening Club met at Mark Twain's home, and +instead of the usual essay he read them a story: "The Facts Concerning +the Recent Carnival of Crime in Connecticut." It was the story of a +man's warfare with a personified conscience--a, sort of "William Wilson" +idea, though less weird, less somber, and with more actuality, more +verisimilitude. It was, in fact, autobiographical, a setting-down of the +author's daily self-chidings. The climax, where conscience is slain, is +a startling picture which appeals to most of humanity. So vivid is it +all, that it is difficult in places not to believe in the reality of the +tale, though the allegory is always present. + +The club was deeply impressed by the little fictional sermon. One of its +ministerial members offered his pulpit for the next Sunday if Mark Twain +would deliver it to his congregation. Howells welcomed it for the +Atlantic, and published it in June. It was immensely successful at the +time, though for some reason it seems to be little known or remembered +to-day. Now and then a reader mentions it, always with enthusiasm. +Howells referred to it repeatedly in his letters, and finally persuaded +Clemens to let Osgood bring it out, with "A True Story," in dainty, +booklet form. If the reader does not already know the tale, it will pay +him to look it up and read it, and then to read it again. + +Meantime Tom Sawyer remained unpublished. + +"Get Bliss to hurry it up!" wrote Howells. "That boy is going to make a +prodigious hit." + +But Clemens delayed the book, to find some means to outwit the Canadian +pirates, who thus far had laid hands on everything, and now were +clamoring at the Atlantic because there was no more to steal. + +Moncure D. Conway was in America, and agreed to take the manuscript of +Sawyer to London and arrange for its publication and copyright. In +Conway's Memoirs he speaks of Mark Twain's beautiful home, comparing it +and its surroundings with the homes of Surrey, England. He tells of an +entertainment given to Harriet Beecher Stowe, a sort of animated jarley +wax-works. Clemens and Conway went over as if to pay a call, when +presently the old lady was rather startled by an invasion of costumed. +figures. Clemens rose and began introducing them in his gay, fanciful +fashion. He began with a knight in full armor, saying, as if in an +aside, "Bring along that tinshop," and went on to tell the romance of the +knight's achievements. + +Conway read Tom Sawyer on the ship and was greatly excited over it. +Later, in London, he lectured on it, arranging meantime for its +publication with Chatto & Windus, thus establishing a friendly business +relation with that firm which Mark Twain continued during his lifetime. + +Clemens lent himself to a number of institutional amusements that year, +and on the 26th of April, 1876, made his first public appearance on the +dramatic stage. + +It was an amateur performance, but not of the usual kind. There was +genuine dramatic talent in Hartford, and the old play of the "Loan of the +Lover," with Mark Twain as Peter Spuyk and Miss Helen Smith--[Now Mrs. +William W. Ellsworth.]--as Gertrude, with a support sufficient for their +needs, gave a performance that probably furnished as much entertainment +as that pleasant old play is capable of providing. Mark Twain had in him +the making of a great actor. Henry Irving once said to him: + + +"You made a mistake by not adopting the stage as a profession. You would +have made even a greater actor than a writer." + +Yet it is unlikely that he would ever have been satisfied with the stage. +He had too many original literary ideas. He would never have been +satisfied to repeat the same part over and over again, night after night +from week to month, and from month to year. He could not stick to the +author's lines even for one night. In his performance of the easy-going, +thick-headed Peter Spuyk his impromptu additions to the lines made it +hard on the company, who found their cues all at sixes and sevens, but it +delighted the audience beyond measure. No such impersonation of that. +character was ever given before, or ever will be given again. It was +repeated with new and astonishing variations on the part of Peter, and it +could have been put on for a long run. Augustin Daly wrote immediately, +offering the Fifth Avenue Theater for a "benefit" performance, and again, +a few days later, urging acceptance. "Not for one night, but for many." + +Clemens was tempted, no doubt. Perhaps, if he had yielded, he would +today have had one more claim on immortality. + + + + +CVII + +HOWELLS, CLEMENS, AND "GEORGE" + +Howells and Clemens were visiting back and forth rather oftener just +then. Clemens was particularly fond of the Boston crowd--Aldrich, +Fields, Osgood, and the rest--delighting in those luncheons or dinners +which Osgood, that hospitable publisher, was always giving on one pretext +or another. No man ever loved company more than Osgood, or to play the +part of host and pay for the enjoyment of others. His dinners were +elaborate affairs, where the sages and poets and wits of that day (and +sometimes their wives) gathered. They were happy reunions, those fore- +gatherings, though perhaps a more intimate enjoyment was found at the +luncheons, where only two or three were invited, usually Aldrich, +Howells, and Clemens, and the talk continued through the afternoon and +into the deepening twilight, such company and such twilight as somehow +one seems never to find any more. + +On one of the visits which Howells made to Hartford that year he took his +son John, then a small boy, with him. John was about six years old at +the time, with his head full of stories of Aladdin, and of other Arabian +fancies. On the way over his father said to him: + +"Now, John, you will see a perfect palace." + +They arrived, and John was awed into silence by the magnificence and +splendors of his surroundings until they went to the bath-room to wash +off the dust of travel. There he happened to notice a cake of pink soap. + +"Why," he said, "they've even got their soap painted!" Next morning he +woke early--they were occupying the mahogany room on the ground floor-- +and slipping out through the library, and to the door of the dining-room, +he saw the colored butler, George--the immortal George--setting the +breakfast-table. He hurriedly tiptoed back and whispered to his father: + +"Come quick! The slave is setting the table!" + +This being the second mention of George, it seems proper here that he +should be formally presented. Clemens used to say that George came one +day to wash windows and remained eighteen years. He was precisely the +sort of character that Mark Twain loved. He had formerly been the body- +servant of an army general and was typically racially Southern, with +those delightful attributes of wit and policy and gentleness which go +with the best type of negro character. The children loved him no less +than did their father. Mrs. Clemens likewise had a weakness for George, +though she did not approve of him. George's morals were defective. He +was an inveterate gambler. He would bet on anything, though prudently +and with knowledge. He would investigate before he invested. If he +placed his money on a horse, he knew the horse's pedigree and the +pedigree of the horses against it, also of their riders. If he invested +in an election, he knew all about the candidates. He had agents among +his own race, and among the whites as well, to supply him with +information. He kept them faithful to him by lending them money--at +ruinous interest. He buttonholed Mark Twain's callers while he was +removing their coats concerning the political situation, much to the +chagrin of Mrs. Clemens, who protested, though vainly, for the men liked +George and his ways, and upheld him in his iniquities. + +Mrs. Clemens's disapproval of George reached the point, now and then, +where she declared he could not remain. + +She even discharged him once, but next morning George was at the +breakfast-table, in attendance, as usual. Mrs. Clemens looked at him +gravely: + +"George," she said, "didn't I discharge you yesterday?" + +"Yes, Mis' Clemens, but I knew you couldn't get along without me, so I +thought I'd better stay a while." + +In one of the letters to Howells, Clemens wrote: + +When George first came he was one of the most religious of men. He had +but one fault--young George Washington's. But I have trained him; and +now it fairly breaks Mrs. Clemens's heart to hear him stand at that front +door and lie to an unwelcome visitor. + +George was a fine diplomat. He would come up to the billiard-room with a +card or message from some one waiting below, and Clemens would fling his +soul into a sultry denial which became a soothing and balmy subterfuge +before it reached the front door. + +The "slave" must have been setting the table in good season, for the +Clemens breakfasts were likely to be late. They usually came along about +nine o'clock, by which time Howells and John were fairly clawing with +hunger. + +Clemens did not have an early appetite, but when it came it was a good +one. Breakfast and dinner were his important meals. He seldom ate at +all during the middle of the day, though if guests were present he would +join them at luncheon-time and walk up and down while they were eating, +talking and gesticulating in his fervent, fascinating way. Sometimes +Mrs. Clemens would say: + +"Oh, Youth, do come and sit down with us. We can listen so much better." + +But he seldom did. At dinner, too, it was his habit, between the +courses, to rise from the table and walk up and down the room, waving his +napkin and talking!--talking in a strain and with a charm that he could +never quite equal with his pen. It's the opinion of most people who knew +Mark Twain personally that his impromptu utterances, delivered with that +ineffable quality of speech, manifested the culmination of his genius. + +When Clemens came to Boston the Howells household was regulated, or +rather unregulated, without regard to former routine. Mark Twain's +personality was of a sort that unconsciously compelled the general +attendance of any household. The reader may recall Josh Billings's +remark on the subject. Howells tells how they kept their guest to +themselves when he visited their home in Cambridge, permitting him to +indulge in as many unconventions as he chose; how Clemens would take a +room at the Parker House, leaving the gas burning day and night, and +perhaps arrive at Cambridge, after a dinner or a reading, in evening +dress and slippers, and joyously remain with them for a day or more in +that guise, slipping on an overcoat and a pair of rubbers when they went +for a walk. Also, how he smoked continuously in every room of the house, +smoked during every waking moment, and how Howells, mindful of his +insurance, sometimes slipped in and removed the still-burning cigar after +he was asleep. + +Clemens had difficulty in getting to sleep in that earlier day, and for a +time found it soothing to drink a little champagne on retiring. Once, +when he arrived in Boston, Howells said: + +"Clemens, we've laid in a bottle of champagne for you." + +But he answered: + +"Oh, that's no good any more. Beer's the thing." + +So Howells provided the beer, and always afterward had a vision of his +guest going up-stairs that night with a pint bottle under each arm. + +He invented other methods of inducing slumber as the years went by, and +at one time found that this precious boon came more easily when he +stretched himself on the bath-room floor. + +He was a perpetual joy to the Howells family when he was there, even +though the household required a general reorganization when he was gone. + +Mildred Howells remembers how, as a very little girl, her mother +cautioned her not to ask for anything she wanted at the table when +company was present, but to speak privately of it to her. Miss Howells +declares that while Mark Twain was their guest she nearly starved because +it was impossible to get her mother's attention; and Mrs. Howells, after +one of those visits of hilarity and disorder, said: + +"Well, it 'most kills me, but it pays," a remark which Clemens vastly +enjoyed. Howells himself once wrote: + +Your visit was a perfect ovation for us; we never enjoy anything so much +as those visits of yours. The smoke and the Scotch and the late hours +almost kill us; but we look each other in the eyes when you are gone, and +say what a glorious time it was, and air the library, and begin sleeping +and longing to have you back again.... + + + + +CVIII + +SUMMER LABORS AT QUARRY FARM + +They went to Elmira, that summer of '76, to be "hermits and eschew caves +and live in the sun," as Clemens wrote in a letter to Dr. Brown. They +returned to the place as to Paradise: Clemens to his study and the books +which he always called for, Mrs. Clemens to a blessed relief from social +obligations, the children to the shady play-places, the green, sloping +hill, where they could race and tumble, and to all their animal friends. + +Susy was really growing up. She had had several birthdays, quite grand +affairs, when she had been brought down in the morning, decked, and with +proper ceremonies, with subsequent celebration. She was a strange, +thoughtful child, much given to reflecting on the power and presence of +infinity, for she was religiously taught. Down in the city, one night, +there was a grand display of fireworks, and the hilltop was a good place +from which to enjoy it; but it grew late after a little, and Susy was +ordered to bed. She said, thoughtfully: + +"I wish I could sit up all night, as God does." + +The baby, whom they still called "Bay," was a tiny, brown creature who +liked to romp in the sun and be rocked to sleep at night with a song. +Clemens often took them for extended' walks, pushing Bay in her carriage. +Once, in a preoccupied moment, he let go of the little vehicle and it +started downhill, gaining speed rapidly. + +He awoke then, and set off in wild pursuit. Before he could overtake the +runaway carriage it had turned to the roadside and upset. Bay was lying +among the stones and her head was bleeding. Hastily binding the wound +with a handkerchief he started full speed with her up the hill toward the +house, calling for restoratives as he came. It was no serious matter. +The little girl was strong and did not readily give way to affliction. + +The children were unlike: Susy was all contemplation and nerves; Bay +serene and practical. It was said, when a pet cat died--this was some +years later--that Susy deeply reflected as to its life here and +hereafter, while Bay was concerned only as to the style of its funeral. +Susy showed early her father's quaintness of remark. Once they bought +her a heavier pair of shoes than she approved of. She was not in the +best of humors during the day, and that night, when at prayer-time her +mother said, "Now, Susy, put your thoughts on God," she answered, "Mama, +I can't with those shoes." + +Clemens worked steadily that summer and did a variety of things. He had +given up a novel, begun with much enthusiasm, but he had undertaken +another long manuscript. By the middle of August he had written several +hundred pages of a story which was to be a continuation of Tam Sawyer-- +The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn. Now, here is a curious phase of +genius. The novel which for a time had filled him with enthusiasm and +faith had no important literary value, whereas, concerning this new tale, +he says: + +"I like it only tolerably well, as far as I have gone, and may possibly +pigeonhole or burn the manuscript when it is done"--this of the story +which, of his books of pure fiction, will perhaps longest survive. He +did, in fact, give the story up, and without much regret, when it was +about half completed, and let it lie unfinished for years. + +He wrote one short tale, "The Canvasser's Story," a burlesque of no +special distinction, and he projected for the Atlantic a scheme of +"blindfold novelettes," a series of stories to be written by well-known +authors and others, each to be constructed on the same plot. One can +easily imagine Clemens's enthusiasm over a banal project like that; his +impulses were always rainbow-hued, whether valuable or not; but it is +curious that Howells should welcome and even encourage an enterprise so +far removed from all the traditions of art. It fell to pieces, at last, +of inherent misconstruction. The title was to be, "A Murder and a +Marriage." Clemens could not arrive at a logical climax that did not +bring the marriage and the hanging on the same day. + +The Atlantic started its "Contributors' Club," and Howells wrote to +Clemens for a paragraph or more of personal opinion on any subject, +assuring him that he could "spit his spite" out at somebody or something +as if it were a passage from a letter. That was a fairly large +permission to give Mark Twain. The paragraph he sent was the sort of +thing he would write with glee, and hug himself over in the thought of +Howells's necessity of rejecting it. In the accompanying note he said: + +Say, Boss, do you want this to lighten up your old freight-train with? +I suppose you won't, but then it won't take long to say, so. + +He was always sending impossible offerings to the magazines; innocently +enough sometimes, but often out of pure mischievousness. Yet they were +constantly after him, for they knew they were likely to get a first-water +gem. Mary Mopes Dodge, of St. Nicholas, wrote time and again, and +finally said: + +"I know a man who was persecuted by an editor till he went distracted." + +In his reading that year at the farm he gave more than customary +attention to one of his favorite books, Pepys' Diary, that captivating +old record which no one can follow continuously without catching the +infection of its manner and the desire of imitation. He had been reading +diligently one day, when he determined to try his hand on an imaginary +record of conversation and court manners of a bygone day, written in the +phrase of the period. The result was Fireside Conversation in the Time +of Queen Elizabeth, or, as he later called it, 1601. The "conversation," +recorded by a supposed Pepys of that period, was written with all the +outspoken coarseness and nakedness of that rank day, when fireside +sociabilities were limited only by the range of loosened fancy, +vocabulary, and physical performance, and not by any bounds of +convention. Howells has spoken of Mark Twain's "Elizabethan breadth of +parlance," and how he, Howells, was always hiding away in discreet holes +and corners the letters in which Clemens had "loosed his bold fancy to +stoop on rank suggestion." "I could not bear to burn them," he +declares, "and I could not, after the first reading, quite bear to look +at them." + +In the 1601 Mark Twain outdid himself in the Elizabethan field. It was +written as a letter to that robust divine, Rev. Joseph Twichell, who had +no special scruples concerning Shakespearian parlance and customs. +Before it was mailed it was shown to David Gray, who was spending a +Sunday at Elmira. Gray said: + +"Print it and put your name to it, Mark. You have never done a greater +piece of work than that." + +John Hay, whom it also reached in due time, pronounce it a classic--a +"most exquisite bit of old English morality." Hay surreptitiously +permitted some proofs to be made of it, and it has been circulated +privately, though sparingly, ever since. At one time a special font of +antique type was made for it and one hundred copies were taken on hand- +made paper. They would easily bring a hundred dollars each to-day. + +1601 is a genuine classic, as classics of that sort go. It is better +than the gross obscenities of Rabelais, and perhaps, in some day to come, +the taste that justified Gargantua and the Decameron will give this +literary refugee shelter and setting among the more conventional writings +of Mark Twain. Human taste is a curious thing; delicacy is purely a +matter of environment and point of view.--[In a note-book of a later +period Clemens himself wrote: "It depends on who writes a thing whether +it is coarse or not. I once wrote a conversation between Elizabeth, +Shakespeare, Ben Jonson, Beaumont, Sir W. Raleigh, Lord Bacon, Sir +Nicholas Throckmorton, and a stupid old nobleman--this latter being cup- +bearer to the queen and ostensible reporter of the talk. + +"There were four maids of honor present and a sweet young girl two years +younger than the boy Beaumont. I built a conversation which could have +happened--I used words such as were used at that time--1601. I sent it +anonymously to a magazine, and how the editor abused it and the sender! +But that man was a praiser of Rabelais, and had been saying, 'O that we +had a Rabelais!' I judged that I could furnish him one."] + + +Eighteen hundred and seventy-six was a Presidential year--the year of the +Hayes-Tilden campaign. Clemens and Howells were both warm Republicans +and actively interested in the outcome, Clemens, as he confessed, for the +first time in his life. Before his return to Hartford he announced +himself publicly as a Hayes man, made so by Governor Hayes's letter of +acceptance, which, he said, "expresses my own political convictions." +His politics had not been generally known up to that time, and a Tilden +and Hendricks club in Jersey City had invited him to be present and give +them some political counsel, at a flag-raising. He wrote, declining +pleasantly enough, then added: + +"You have asked me for some political counsel or advice: In view of Mr. +Tilden's Civil War record my advice is not to raise the flag." + +He wrote Howells: "If Tilden is elected I think the entire country will +go pretty straight to--Mrs. Howells's bad place." + +Howells was writing a campaign biography of Hayes, which he hoped would +have a large sale, and Clemens urged him to get it out quickly and save +the country. Howells, working like a beaver, in turn urged Clemens to +take the field in the cause. Returning to Hartford, Clemens presided at +a political rally and made a speech, the most widely quoted of the +campaign. All papers, without distinction as to party, quoted it, and +all readers, regardless of politics, read it with joy. + +Yet conditions did not improve. When Howells's book had been out a +reasonable length of time he wrote that it had sold only two thousand +copies. + +"There's success for you," he said. "It makes me despair of the +Republic, I can tell you." + +Clemens, however, did not lose faith, and went on shouting for Hayes and +damning Tilden till the final vote was cast. In later life he changed +his mind about Tilden (as did many others) through sympathy. Sympathy +could make--Mark Twain change his mind any time. He stood for the right, +but, above all, for justice. He stood for the wronged, regardless of all +other things. + + + + +CIX + +THE PUBLIC APPEARANCE OF "TOM SAWYER" + +Clemens gave a few readings in Boston and Philadelphia, but when urged to +go elsewhere made the excuse that he was having his portrait painted and +could not leave home. + +As a matter of fact, he was enjoying himself with Frank Millet, who had +been invited to the house to do the portrait and had captured the fervent +admiration of the whole family. Millet was young, handsome, and lively; +Clemens couldn't see enough of him, the children adored him and added his +name to the prayer which included each member of the household--the "Holy +Family," Clemens called it. + +Millet had brought with him but one piece of canvas for the portrait, and +when the first sketch was finished Mrs. Clemens was so delighted with it +that she did not wish him to touch it again. She was afraid of losing +some particular feeling in it which she valued. Millet went to the city. +for another canvas and Clemens accompanied him. While Millet was doing +his shopping it happened to occur to Clemens that it would be well to +fill in the time by having his hair cut. He left word with a clerk to +tell Millet that he had gone across the street. By and by the artist +came over, and nearly wept with despair when he saw his subject sheared +of the auburn, gray-sprinkled aureola that had made his first sketch a +success. He tried it again, and the result was an excellent likeness, +but it never satisfied Millet. + +The 'Adventures of Tom Sawyer' appeared late in December (1876), and +immediately took its place as foremost of American stories of boy life, +a place which it unquestionably holds to this day. We have already +considered the personal details of this story, for they were essentially +nothing more than the various aspects of Mark Twain's own boyhood. It is +only necessary to add a word concerning the elaboration of this period in +literary form. + +From every point it is a masterpiece, this picture of boy life in a +little lazy, drowsy town, with all the irresponsibility and general +disreputability of boy character coupled with that indefinable, formless, +elusive something we call boy conscience, which is more likely to be boy +terror and a latent instinct of manliness. These things are so truly +portrayed that every boy and man reader finds the tale fitting into his +own remembered years, as if it had grown there. Every boy has played off +sick to escape school; every boy has reflected in his heart Tom's picture +of himself being brought home dead, and gloated over the stricken +consciences of those who had blighted his young life; every boy--of that +day, at least--every normal, respectable boy, grew up to "fear God and +dread the Sunday-school," as Howells puts it in his review. + +As for the story itself, the narrative of it, it is pure delight. The +pirate camp on the island is simply boy heaven. What boy, for instance, +would not change any other glory or boon that the world holds for this: + + They built a fire against the side of a great log twenty or thirty + steps within the somber depths of the forest, and then cooked some + bacon in the frying-pan for supper, and used up half of the corn + "pone" stock they had brought. It seemed glorious sport to be + feasting in that wild, free way in the virgin forest of an + unexplored and uninhabited island, far from the haunts of men, and + they said they never would return to civilization. The climbing + fire lit up their faces and threw its ruddy glare upon the pillared + tree-trunks of their forest-temple, and upon the varnished foliage + and the festooning vines. + +There is a magic in it. Mark Twain, when he wrote it, felt renewed in +him all the old fascination of those days and nights with Tom +Blankenship, John Briggs, and the Bowen boys on Glasscock's Island. +Everywhere in Tom Sawyer there is a quality, entirely apart from the +humor and the narrative, which the younger reader is likely to overlook. +No one forgets the whitewashing scene, but not many of us, from our early +reading, recall this delicious bit of description which introduces it: + + The locust-trees were in bloom, and the fragrance of the blossoms + filled the air. Cardiff Hill, beyond the village and above it, was + green with vegetation, and it lay just far enough away to seem a + delectable land, dreamy, reposeful, and inviting. + +Tom's night visit home; the graveyard scene, with the murder of Dr. +Robinson; the adventures of Tom and Becky in the cave--these are all +marvelously invented. Literary thrill touches the ultimate in one +incident of the cave episode. Brander Matthews has written: + + Nor is there any situation quite as thrilling as that awful moment + in the cave when the boy and girl are lost in the darkness, and when + Tom suddenly sees a human hand bearing a light, and then finds that + the hand is the hand of Indian Joe, his one mortal enemy. I have + always thought that the vision of the hand in the cave in Tom Sawyer + was one of the very finest things in the literature of adventure + since Robinson Crusoe first saw a single footprint in the sand of + the sea-shore. + +Mark Twain's invention was not always a reliable quantity, but with that +eccentricity which goes with any attribute of genius, it was likely at +any moment to rise supreme. If to the critical, hardened reader the tale +seems a shade overdone here and there, a trifle extravagant in its +delineations, let him go back to his first long-ago reading of it and see +if he recalls anything but his pure delight in it then. As a boy's story +it has not been equaled. + +Tom Sawyer has ranked in popularity with Roughing It. + +Its sales go steadily on from year to year, and are likely to continue so +long as boys and girls do not change, and men and women remember. + +--[Col. Henry Watterson, when he finished Tom Sawyer, wrote: "I have +just laid down Tom Sawyer, and cannot resist the pressure. It is +immense! I read every word of it, didn't skip a line, and nearly +disgraced myself several times in the presence of a sleeping-car full of +honorable and pious people. Once I had to get to one side and have a +cry, and as for an internal compound of laughter and tears there was no +end to it.... The 'funeral' of the boys, the cave business, and the hunt +for the hidden treasure are as dramatic as anything I know of in fiction, +while the pathos--particularly everything relating to Huck and Aunt +Polly--makes a cross between Dickens's skill and Thackeray's nature, +which, resembling neither, is thoroughly impressive and original."] + + + + +CX + +MARK TWAIN AND BRET HARTE WRITE A PLAY + +It was the fall and winter of '76 that Bret Harte came to Hartford and +collaborated with Mark Twain on the play "Ah Sin," a comedy-drama, or +melodrama, written for Charles T. Parsloe, the great impersonator of +Chinese character. Harte had written a successful play which +unfortunately he had sold outright for no great sum, and was eager for +another venture. Harte had the dramatic sense and constructive +invention. He also had humor, but he felt the need of the sort of humor +that Mark Twain could furnish. Furthermore, he believed that a play +backed by both their reputations must start with great advantages. +Clemens also realized these things, and the arrangement was made. +Speaking of their method of working, Clemens once said: + +"Well, Bret came down to Hartford and we talked it over, and then Bret +wrote it while I played billiards, but of course I had to go over it to +get the dialect right. Bret never did know anything about dialect." +Which is hardly a fair statement of the case. They both worked on the +play, and worked hard. + +During the, period of its construction Harte had an order for a story +which he said he must finish at once, as he needed the money. It must be +delivered by the following night, and he insisted that he must be getting +at it without a moment's delay. Still he seemed in no haste to begin. +The evening passed; bedtime came. Then he asked that an open fire might +be made in his room and a bottle of whisky sent up, in case he needed. +something to keep him awake. George attended to these matters, and +nothing more was heard of Harte until very early next morning, when he +rang for George and asked for a fresh fire and an additional supply of +whisky. At breakfast-time he appeared, fresh, rosy, and elate, with the +announcement that his story was complete. + +That forenoon the Saturday Morning Club met at the Clemens home. It was +a young women's club, of which Mark Twain was a sort of honorary member-- +a club for the purpose of intellectual advancement, somewhat on the order +of the Monday Evening Club of men, except that the papers read before it +were not prepared by members, but by men and women prominent in some +field of intellectual progress. Bret Harte had agreed to read to them on +this particular occasion, and he gaily appeared and gave them the story +just finished, "Thankful Blossom," a tale which Mark Twain always +regarded as one of Harte's very best. + +The new play, "Ah Sin," by Mark Twain and Bret Harte, was put on at +Washington, at the National Theater, on the evening of May 7, 1877. It +had been widely exploited in the newspapers, and the fame of the authors +insured a crowded opening. Clemens was unable to go over on account of a +sudden attack of bronchitis. Parsloe was nervous accordingly, and the +presence of Harte does not seem to have added to his happiness. + +"I am not very well myself," he wrote to Clemens. "The excitement of the +first night is bad enough, but to have the annoyance with Harte that I +have is too much for a new beginner." + +Nevertheless, the play seems to have gone well, with Parsloe as Ah Sin-- +a Chinese laundryman who was also a great number of other diverting +things--with a fair support and a happy-go-lucky presentation of frontier +life, which included a supposed murder, a false accusation, and a general +clearing-up of mystery by the pleasant and wily and useful and +entertaining Ah Sin. It was not a great play. It was neither very +coherent nor convincing, but it had a lot of good fun in it, with +character parts which, if not faithful to life, were faithful enough to +the public conception of it to be amusing and exciting. At the end of +each act not only Parsloe, but also the principal members of the company, +were called before the curtain for special acknowledgments. When it was +over there was a general call for Ah Sin, who came before the curtain and +read a telegram. + +CHARLES T. PARSLOE,--I am on the sick-list, and therefore cannot come to +Washington; but I have prepared two speeches--one to deliver in event of +failure of the play, and the other if successful. Please tell me which I +shall send. May be better to put it to vote. + + MARK TWAIN. + + +The house cheered the letter, and when it was put to vote decided +unanimously that the play had been a success--a verdict more kindly than +true. + +J. I. Ford, of the theater management, wrote to Clemens, next morning +after the first performance, urging him to come to Washington in person +and "wet nurse" the play until "it could do for itself." + +Ford expressed satisfaction with the play and its prospects, and +concludes: + +I inclose notices. Come if you can. "Your presence will be worth ten +thousand men. The king's name is a tower of strength." I have urged the +President to come to-night. + +The play made no money in Washington, but Augustin Daly decided to put it +on in New York at the Fifth Avenue Theater, with a company which +included, besides Parsloe, Edmund Collier, P. A. Anderson, Dora +Goldthwaite, Henry Crisp, and Mrs. Wells, a very worthy group of players +indeed. Clemens was present at the opening, dressed in white, which he +affected only for warm-weather use in those days, and made a speech at +the end of the third act. + +"Ah Sin" did not excite much enthusiasm among New York dramatic critics. +The houses were promising for a time, but for some reason the performance +as a whole did not contain the elements of prosperity. It set out on its +provincial travels with no particular prestige beyond the reputation of +its authors; and it would seem that this was not enough, for it failed to +pay, and all parties concerned presently abandoned it to its fate and it +was heard of no more. Just why "Ah Sin" did not prosper it would not +become us to decide at this far remove of time and taste. Poorer plays +have succeeded and better plays have failed since then, and no one has +ever been able to demonstrate the mystery. A touch somewhere, a pulling- +about and a readjustment, might have saved "Ali Sin," but the pullings +and haulings which they gave it did not. Perhaps it still lies in some +managerial vault, and some day may be dragged to light and reconstructed +and recast, and come into its reward. Who knows? Or it may have drifted +to that harbor of forgotten plays, whence there is no returning. + +As between Harte and Clemens, the whole matter was unfortunate. In the +course of their association there arose a friction and the long-time +friendship disappeared. + + + + +CXI + +A BERMUDA HOLIDAY + +On the 16th of May, 1877, Mark Twain set out on what, in his note-book, +he declared to be "the first actual pleasure-trip" he had ever taken, +meaning that on every previous trip he had started with a purpose other +than that of mere enjoyment. He took with him his, friend and pastor, +the Rev. Joseph H. Twichell, and they sailed for Bermuda, an island +resort not so well known or so fashionable as to-day. + +They did not go to a hotel. Under assumed names they took up quarters in +a boarding-house, with a Mrs. Kirkham, and were unmolested and altogether +happy in their wanderings through four golden days. Mark Twain could not +resist keeping a note-book, setting down bits of scenery and character +and incident, just as he had always done. He was impressed with the +cheapness of property and living in the Bermuda of that period. He makes +special mention of some cottages constructed of coral blocks: "All as +beautiful and as neat as a pin, at the cost of four hundred and eighty +dollars each." To Twichell he remarked: + +"Joe, this place is like Heaven, and I'm going to make the most of it." + +"Mark," said Twichell, "that's right; make the most of a place that is +like Heaven while you have a chance." + +In one of the entries--the final one--Clemens says: + +"Bermuda is free (at present) from the triple curse of railways, +telegraphs, and newspapers, but this will not last the year. I propose +to spend next year here and no more." + +When they were ready to leave, and started for the steamer, Twichell made +an excuse to go back, his purpose being to tell their landlady and her +daughter that, without knowing it, they had been entertaining Mark Twain. + +"Did you ever hear of Mark Twain?" asked Twichell. + +The daughter answered. + +"Yes," she said, "until I'm tired of the name. I know a young man who +never talks of anything else." + +"Well," said Twichell, "that gentleman with me is Mark Twain." + +The Kirkhams declined to believe it at first, and then were in deep +sorrow that they had not known it earlier. Twichell promised that he and +Clemens would come back the next year; and they meant to go back--we +always mean to go back to places--but it was thirty years before they +returned at last, and then their pleasant landlady was dead. + +On the home trip they sighted a wandering vessel, manned by blacks, +trying to get to New York. She had no cargo and was pretty helpless. +Later, when she was reported again, Clemens wrote about it in a Hartford +paper, telling the story as he knew it. The vessel had shipped the crew, +on a basis of passage to New York, in exchange for labor. So it was a +"pleasure-excursion!" Clemens dwelt on this fancy: + + I have heard of a good many pleasure-excursions, but this heads the + list. It is monumental, and if ever the tired old tramp is found I + should like to be there and see him in his sorrowful rags and his + venerable head of grass and seaweed, and hear the ancient mariners + tell the story of their mysterious wanderings through the solemn + solitudes of the ocean. + +Long afterward this vagrant craft was reported again, still drifting with +the relentless Gulf Stream. Perhaps she reached New York in time; one +would like to know, but there seems no good way to find out. + +That first Bermuda voyage was always a happy memory to Mark Twain. To +Twichell he wrote that it was the "joyousest trip" he had ever made: + + Not a heartache anywhere, not a twinge of conscience. I often come + to myself out of a reverie and detect an undertone of thought that + had been thinking itself without volition of mind--viz., that if we + had only had ten days of those walks and talks instead of four. + +There was but one regret: Howells had not been with them. Clemens +denounced him for his absence: + + If you had gone with us and let me pay the fifty dollars, which the + trip and the board and the various knick-knacks and mementos would + cost, I would have picked up enough droppings from your conversation + to pay me five hundred per cent. profit in the way of the several + magazine articles which I could have written; whereas I can now + write only one or two, and am therefore largely out of pocket by + your proud ways. + +Clemens would not fail to write about his trip. He could not help doing +that, and he began "Some Rambling Notes of an Idle Excursion" as soon as +he landed in Hartford. They were quite what the name would signify-- +leisurely, pleasant commentaries on a loafing, peaceful vacation. They +are not startling in their humor or description, but are gently amusing +and summery, reflecting, bubble-like, evanescent fancies of Bermuda. +Howells, shut up in a Boston editorial office, found them delightful +enough, and very likely his Atlantic readers agreed with him. The story +of "Isaac and the Prophets of Baal" was one that Capt. Ned Wakeman had +told to Twichell during a voyage which the latter had made to Aspinwall +with that vigorous old seafarer; so in the "Rambling Notes" Wakeman +appears as Captain Hurricane Jones, probably a step in the evolution of +the later name of Stormfield. The best feature of the series (there were +four papers in all) is a story of a rescue in mid-ocean; but surely the +brightest ripple of humor is the reference to Bermuda's mahogany-tree: + + There was exactly one mahogany-tree on the island. I know this to + be reliable because I saw a man who said he had counted it many a + time and could not be mistaken. He was a man with a haze lip and a + pure heart, and everybody said he was as true as steel. Such men + are all too few. + +Clemens cared less for these papers than did Howells. He had serious +doubts about the first two and suggested their destruction, but with +Howells's appreciation his own confidence in them returned and he let +them all go in. They did not especially advance his reputation, but +perhaps they did it no harm. + + + + +CXII + +A NEW PLAY AND A NEW TALE + +He wrote a short story that year which is notable mainly for the fact +that in it the telephone becomes a literary property, probably for the +first time. "The Loves of Alonzo Fitz-Clarence and Rosannah Ethelton" +employed in the consummation what was then a prospect, rather than a +reality--long-distance communication. + +His work that summer consisted mainly of two extensive undertakings, one +of which he completed without delay. He still had the dramatic ambition, +and he believed that he was capable now of constructing a play entirely +from his own resources. + +To Howells, in June, he wrote: + +To-day I am deep in a comedy which I began this morning--principal +character an old detective. I skeletoned the first act and wrote the +second to-day, and am dog-tired now. Fifty-four pages of MS. in seven +hours. + +Seven days later, the Fourth of July, he said: + +I have piled up one hundred and fifty-one pages on my comedy. The first, +second and fourth acts are done, and done to my satisfaction, too. To- +morrow and next day will finish the third act, and the play. Never had +so much fun over anything in my life never such consuming interest and +delight. And just think! I had Sol Smith Russell in my mind's eye for +the old detective's part, and bang it! he has gone off pottering with +Oliver Optic, or else the papers lie. + +He was working with enthusiasm, you see, believing in it with a faith +which, alas, was no warrant for its quality. Even Howells caught his +enthusiasm and became eager to see the play, and to have the story it +contained told for the Atlantic. + +But in the end it proved a mistake. Dion Boucicault, when he read the +manuscript, pronounced it better than "Ah Sin," but that was only +qualified praise. Actors who considered the play, anxious enough to have +Mark Twain's name on their posters and small bills, were obliged to admit +that, while it contained marvelous lines, it wouldn't "go." John +Brougham wrote: + + There is an absolute "embarrassment of riches" in your "Detective" + most assuredly, but the difficulty is to put it into profitable + form. The quartz is there in abundance, only requiring the + necessary manipulation to extract the gold. + + In narrative structure the story would be full of life, character, + and the most exuberant fun, but it is altogether too diffuse in its + present condition for dramatic representation, and I confess I do + not feel sufficient confidence in my own experience (even if I had + the time, which on reflection I find I have not) to undertake what, + under different circumstances, would be a "labor of love." + + Yours sincerely, JOHN BROUGHAM. + + +That was frank, manly, and to the point; it covered the ground exactly. +"Simon Wheeler, the Amateur Detective," had plenty of good material in +it--plenty of dialogue and situations; but the dialogue wouldn't play, +and the situations wouldn't act. Clemens realized that perhaps the drama +was not, after all, his forte; he dropped "Simon Wheeler," lost his +interest in "Ah Sin," even leased "Colonel Sellers" for the coming +season, and so, in a sort of fury, put theatrical matters out of his +mind. + +He had entered upon what, for him, was a truer domain. One day he picked +up from among the books at the farm a little juvenile volume, an English +story of the thirteenth century by Charlotte M. Yonge, entitled, The +Prince and the Page. It was a story of Edward I. and his cousins, +Richard and Henry de Montfort; in part it told of the submerged +personality of the latter, picturing him as having dwelt in disguise as +a blind beggar for a period of years. It was a story of a sort and with +a setting that Mark Twain loved, and as he read there came a correlative +idea. Not only would he disguise a prince as a beggar, but a beggar as +a prince. He would have them change places in the world, and each learn +the burdens of the other's life.--[There is no point of resemblance +between the Prince and the Pauper and the tale that inspired it. No one +would ever guess that the one had grown out of the readings of the other, +and no comparison of any sort is possible between them.] + +The plot presented physical difficulties. He still had some lurking +thought of stage performance, and saw in his mind a spectacular +presentation, with all the costumery of an early period as background for +a young and beautiful creature who would play the part of prince. The +old device of changelings in the cradle (later used in Pudd'nhead Wilson) +presented itself to him, but it could not provide the situations he had +in mind. Finally came the thought of a playful interchange of raiment +and state (with startling and unlooked-for consequence)--the guise and +personality of Tom Canty, of Offal Court, for those of the son of Henry +VIII., little Edward Tudor, more lately sixth English king of that name. +This little prince was not his first selection for the part. His +original idea had been to use the late King Edward VII. (then Prince of +Wales) at about fifteen, but he found that it would never answer to lose +a prince among the slums of modern London, and have his proud estate +denied and jeered at by a modern mob. He felt that he could not make it +seem real; so he followed back through history, looking along for the +proper time and prince, till he came to little Edward, who was too young +--but no matter, he would do. + +He decided to begin his new venture in story form. He could dramatize it +later. The situation appealed to him immensely. The idea seemed a +brand-new one; it was delightful, it was fascinating, and he was +saturated with the atmosphere and literature and history--the data and +detail of that delightful old time. He put away all thought of cheap, +modern play-acting and writing, to begin one of the loveliest and most +entertaining and instructive tales of old English life. He decided to be +quite accurate in his picture of the period, and he posted himself on old +London very carefully. He bought a pocket-map which he studied in the +minutest detail. + +He wrote about four hundred manuscript pages of the tale that summer; +then, as the inspiration seemed to lag a little, put it aside, as was his +habit, to wait until the ambition for it should be renewed. It was a +long wait, as usual. He did not touch it again for more than three +years. + + + + +CXIII + +TWO DOMESTIC DRAMAS + +Some unusual happenings took place that summer of 1877. John T. Lewis +(colored), already referred to as the religious antagonist of Auntie +Cord, by great presence of mind and bravery saved the lives of Mrs. +Clemens's sister-in-law, Mrs. Charles ("Charley") Langdon, her little +daughter Julia, and her nurse-maid. They were in a buggy, and their +runaway horse was flying down East Hill toward Elmira to certain +destruction, when Lewis, laboring slowly homeward with a loaded wagon, +saw them coming and turned his team across the road, after which he +leaped out and with extraordinary strength and quickness grabbed the +horse's bridle and brought him to a standstill. The Clemens and Crane +families, who had seen the runaway start at the farm gate, arrived half +wild with fear, only to find the supposed victims entirely safe. + +Everybody contributed in rewarding Lewis. He received money ($1,500) and +various other presents, including inscribed books and trinkets, also, +what he perhaps valued more than anything, a marvelous stem-winding gold +watch. Clemens, writing a full account to Dr. Brown of the watch, says: + + And if any scoffer shall say, "behold this thing is out of + character," there is an inscription within which will silence him; + for it will teach him that this wearer aggrandizes the watch, not + the watch the wearer. + +In another paragraph he says: + + When Lewis arrived the other evening, after having saved those lives + by a feat which I think is the most marvelous I can call to mind, + when he arrived hunched up on his manure-wagon and as grotesquely + picturesque as usual, everybody wanted to go and see how he looked. + They came back and said he was beautiful. It was so, too, and yet + he would have photographed exactly as he would have done any day + these past seven years that he has occupied this farm. + +Lewis acknowledged his gifts in a letter which closed with a paragraph of +rare native loftiness: + + But I beg to say, humbly, that inasmuch as divine Providence saw fit + to use me as an instrument for the saving of those preshious lives, + the honner conferd upon me was greater than the feat performed. + +Lewis lived to enjoy his prosperity, and the honor of the Clemens and +Langdon households, for twenty-nine years. When he was too old to work +there was a pension, to which Clemens contributed; also Henry H. Rogers. +So the simple-hearted, noble old negro closed his days in peace. + +Mrs. Crane, in a letter, late in July, 1906, told of his death: + + He was always cheerful, and seemed not to suffer much pain, told + stories, and was able to eat almost everything. + + Three days ago a new difficulty appeared, on account of which his + doctor said he must go to the hospital for care such as it was quite + impossible to give in his home. + + He died on his way there. + + Thus it happened that he died on the road where he had performed his + great deed. + +A second unusual incident of that summer occurred in Hartford. There had +been a report of a strange man seen about the Clemens place, thought to +be a prospecting burglar, and Clemens went over to investigate. A little +searching inquiry revealed that the man was not a burglar, but a mechanic +out of employment, a lover of one of the house-maids, who had given him +food and shelter on the premises, intending no real harm. When the girl +found that her secret was discovered, she protested that he was her +fiance, though she said he appeared lately to have changed his mind and +no longer wished to marry her. + +The girl seemed heartbroken, and sympathy for her was naturally the first +and about the only feeling which Clemens developed, for the time being. +He reasoned with the young man, but without making much headway. Finally +his dramatic instinct prompted him to a plan of a sort which would have +satisfied even Tom Sawyer. He asked Twichell to procure a license for +the couple, and to conceal himself in a ground floor bath-room. He +arranged with the chief of police to be on hand in another room; with the +rest of the servants quietly to prepare a wedding-feast, and finally with +Lizzie herself to be dressed for the ceremony. He had already made an +appointment with the young man to come to, see him at a certain hour on a +"matter of business," and the young man arrived in the belief, no doubt, +that it was something which would lead to profitable employment. When he +came in Clemens gently and quietly reviewed the situation, told him of +the young girl's love for him; how he had been sheltered and fed by her; +how through her kindness to him she had compromised her reputation for +honesty and brought upon her all the suspicion of having sheltered a +burglar; how she was ready and willing to marry him, and how he (Clemens) +was ready to assist them to obtain work and a start in life. + +But the young man was not enthusiastic. He was a Swede and slow of +action. He resolutely declared that he was not ready to marry yet, and +in the end refused to do so. Then came the dramatic moment. Clemens +quietly but firmly informed him that the wedding ceremony must take +place; that by infesting his premises he had broken the law, not only +against trespass, but most likely against house-breaking. There was a +brief discussion of this point. Finally Clemens gave him five minutes to +make up his mind, with the statement that he had an officer in waiting, +and unless he would consent to the wedding he would be taken in charge. +The young man began to temporize, saying that it would be necessary for +him to get a license and a preacher. But Clemens stepped to the door of +the bath-room, opened it, and let out Twichell, who had been sweltering +there in that fearful place for more than an hour, it being August. The +delinquent lover found himself confronted with all the requisites of +matrimony except the bride, and just then this detail appeared on the +scene, dressed for the occasion. Behind her ranged the rest of the +servants and a few invited guests. Before the young man knew it he had a +wife, and on the whole did not seem displeased. It ended with a gay +supper and festivities. Then Clemens started them handsomely by giving +each of them a check for one hundred dollars; and in truth (which in this +case, at least, is stranger than fiction) they lived happily and +prosperously ever after. + +Some years later Mark Twain based a story on this episode, but it was +never entirely satisfactory and remains unpublished. + + + + +CXIV + +THE WHITTIER BIRTHDAY SPEECH + +It was the night of December 17, 1877, that Mark Twain made his +unfortunate speech at the dinner given by the Atlantic staff to John G. +Whittier on his seventieth birthday. Clemens had attended a number of +the dinners which the Atlantic gave on one occasion or another, and had +provided a part of the entertainment. It is only fair to say that his +after-dinner speeches at such times had been regarded as very special +events, genuine triumphs of humor and delivery. But on this particular +occasion he determined to outdo himself, to prepare something unusual, +startling, something altogether unheard of. + +When Mark Twain had an impulse like that it was possible for it to result +in something dangerous, especially in those earlier days. This time it +produced a bombshell; not just an ordinary bombshell, or even a twelve- +inch projectile, but a shell of planetary size. It was a sort of hoax- +always a doubtful plaything--and in this case it brought even quicker and +more terrible retribution than usual. It was an imaginary presentation +of three disreputable frontier tramps who at some time had imposed +themselves on a lonely miner as Longfellow, Emerson, and Holmes, quoting +apposite selections from their verses to the accompaniment of cards and +drink, and altogether conducting themselves in a most unsavory fashion. +At the end came the enlightenment that these were not what they pretended +to be, but only impostors--disgusting frauds. A feature like that would +be a doubtful thing to try in any cultured atmosphere. The thought of +associating, ever so remotely, those three old bummers which he had +conjured up with the venerable and venerated Emerson, Longfellow, and +Holmes, the Olympian trinity, seems ghastly enough to-day, and must have +seemed even more so then. But Clemens, dazzled by the rainbow splendor +of his conception, saw in it only a rare colossal humor, which would +fairly lift and bear his hearers along on a tide of mirth. He did not +show his effort to any one beforehand. He wanted its full beauty to +burst upon the entire company as a surprise. + +It did that. Howells was toastmaster, and when he came to present +Clemens he took particular pains to introduce him as one of his foremost +contributors and dearest friends. Here, he said, was "a humorist who +never left you hanging you head for having enjoyed his joke." + +Thirty years later Clemens himself wrote of his impressions as he rose to +deliver his speech. + + I vaguely remember some of the details of that gathering: dimly I + can see a hundred people--no, perhaps fifty--shadowy figures, + sitting at tables feeding, ghosts now to me, and nameless + forevermore. I don't know who they were, but I can very distinctly + see, seated at the grand table and facing the rest of us, Mr. + Emerson, supernaturally grave, unsmiling; Mr. Whittier, grave, + lovely, his beautiful spirit shining out of his face; Mr. + Longfellow, with his silken-white hair and his benignant face; Dr. + Oliver Wendell Holmes, flashing smiles and affection and all good- + fellowship everywhere, like a rose-diamond whose facets are being + turned toward the light, first one way and then another--a charming + man, and always fascinating, whether he was talking or whether he + was sitting still (what he would call still, but what would be more + or less motion to other people). I can see those figures with + entire distinctiness across this abyss of time. + +William Winter, the poet, had just preceded him, and it seemed a moment +aptly chosen for his so-different theme. "And then," to quote Howells, +"the amazing mistake, the bewildering blunder, the cruel catastrophe was +upon us." + +After the first two or three hundred words, when the general plan and +purpose of the burlesque had developed, when the names of Longfellow, +Emerson, and Holmes began to be flung about by those bleary outcasts, and +their verses given that sorry association, those Atlantic diners became +petrified with amazement and horror. Too late, then, the speaker +realized his mistake. He could not stop, he must go on to the ghastly +end. And somehow he did it, while "there fell a silence weighing many +tons to the square inch, which deepened from moment to moment, and was +broken only by the hysterical and blood-curdling laughter of a single +guest, whose name shall not be handed down to infamy." + +Howells can remember little more than that, but Clemens recalls that one +speaker made an effort to follow him--Bishop, the novelist, and that +Bishop didn't last long. + + It was not many sentences after his first before he began to + hesitate and break, and lose his grip, and totter and wobble, and at + last he slumped down in a limp and mushy pile. + +The next man had not strength to rise, and somehow the company broke up. + +Howells's next recollection is of being in a room of the hotel, and of +hearing Charles Dudley Warner saying in the gloom: + +"Well, Mark, you're a funny fellow." + +He remembers how, after a sleepless night, Clemens went out to buy some +bric-a-brac, with a soul far from bric-a-brac, and returned to Hartford +in a writhing agony of spirit. He believed that he was ruined forever, +so far as his Boston associations were concerned; and when he confessed +all the tragedy to Mrs. Clemens it seemed to her also that the mistake +could never be wholly repaired. The fact that certain papers quoted the +speech and spoke well of it, and certain readers who had not listened to +it thought it enormously funny, gave very little comfort. But perhaps +his chief concern was the ruin which he believed he had brought upon +Howells. He put his heart into a brief letter: + + MY DEAR HOWELLS,--My sense of disgrace does not abate. It grows. + I see that it is going to add itself to my list of permanencies, a + list of humiliations that extends back to when I was seven years + old, and which keep on persecuting me regardless of my repentances. + + I feel that my misfortune has injured me all over the country; + therefore it will be best that I retire from before the public at + present. It will hurt the Atlantic for me to appear in its pages + now. So it is my opinion, and my wife's, that the telephone story + had better be suppressed. Will you return those proofs or revises + to me, so that I can use the same on some future occasion? + + It seems as if I must have been insane when I wrote that speech and + saw no harm in it, no disrespect toward those men whom I reverenced + so much. And what shame I brought upon you, after what you said in + introducing me! It burns me like fire to think of it. + + The whole matter is a dreadful subject. Let me drop it here--at + least on paper. + + Penitently yours, MARK + + +So, all in a moment, his world had come to an end--as it seemed. But +Howells's letter, which came rushing back by first mail, brought hope. + +"It was a fatality," Howells said. "One of those sorrows into which a +man walks with his eyes wide open, no one knows why." + +Howells assured him that Longfellow, Emerson, and Holmes would so +consider it, beyond doubt; that Charles Eliot Norton had already +expressed himself exactly in the right spirit concerning it. Howells +declared that there was no intention of dropping Mark Twain's work from +the Atlantic. + + You are not going to be floored by it; there is more justice than + that even in this world. Especially as regards me, just call the + sore spot well. I can say more, and with better heart, in praise of + your good feeling (which was what I always liked in you), since this + thing happened than I could before. + +It was agreed that he should at once write a letter to Longfellow, +Emerson, and Holmes, and he did write, laying his heart bare to them. +Longfellow and Holmes answered in a fine spirit of kindliness, and Miss +Emerson wrote for her father in the same tone. Emerson had not been +offended, for he had not heard the speech, having arrived even then at +that stage of semi-oblivion as to immediate things which eventually so +completely shut him away. Longfellow's letter made light of the whole +matter. The newspapers, he said, had caused all the mischief. + + A bit of humor at a dinner-table talk is one thing; a report of it + in the morning papers is another. One needs the lamplight and the + scenery. These failing, what was meant in jest assumes a serious + aspect. + + I do not believe that anybody was much hurt. Certainly I was not, + and Holmes tells me that he was not. So I think you may dismiss the + matter from your mind, without further remorse. + + It was a very pleasant dinner, and I think Whittier enjoyed it very + much. + +Holmes likewise referred to it as a trifle. + + It never occurred to me for a moment to take offense, or to feel + wounded by your playful use of my name. I have heard some mild + questioning as to whether, even in fun, it was good taste to + associate the names of the authors with the absurdly unlike + personalities attributed to them, but it seems to be an open + question. Two of my friends, gentlemen of education and the highest + social standing, were infinitely amused by your speech, and stoutly + defended it against the charge of impropriety. More than this, one + of the cleverest and best-known ladies we have among us was highly + delighted with it. + +Miss Emerson's letter was to Mrs. Clemens and its homelike New England +fashion did much to lift the gloom. + + DEAR MRS. CLEMENS,--At New Year's our family always meets, to spend + two days together. To-day my father came last, and brought with him + Mr. Clemens's letter, so that I read it to the assembled family, and + I have come right up-stairs to write to you about it. My sister + said, "Oh, let father write!" but my mother said, "No, don't wait + for him. Go now; don't stop to pick that up. Go this minute and + write. I think that is a noble letter. Tell them so." First let + me say that no shadow of indignation has ever been in any of our + minds. The night of the dinner, my father says, he did not hear Mr. + Clemens's speech. He was too far off, and my mother says that when + she read it to him the next day it amused him. But what you will + want is to know, without any softening, how we did feel. We were + disappointed. We have liked almost everything we have ever seen + over Mark Twain's signature. It has made us like the man, and we + have delighted in the fun. Father has often asked us to repeat + certain passages of The Innocents Abroad, and of a speech at a + London dinner in 1872, and we all expect both to approve and to + enjoy when we see his name. Therefore, when we read this speech it + was a real disappointment. I said to my brother that it didn't seem + good or funny, and he said, "No, it was unfortunate. Still some of + those quotations were very good"; and he gave them with relish and + my father laughed, though never having seen a card in his life, he + couldn't understand them like his children. My mother read it + lightly and had hardly any second thoughts about it. To my father + it is as if it had not been; he never quite heard, never quite + understood it, and he forgets easily and entirely. I think it + doubtful whether he writes to Mr. Clemens, for he is old and long + ago gave up answering letters, I think you can see just how bad, and + how little bad, it was as far as we are concerned, and this lovely + heartbreaking letter makes up for our disappointment in our much- + liked author, and restores our former feeling about him. + + ELLEN T. EMERSON. + + +The sorrow dulled a little as the days passed. Just after Christmas +Clemens wrote to Howells: + + I haven't done a stroke of work since the Atlantic dinner. But I'm + going to try to-morrow. How could I ever---- + + Ah, well, I am a great and sublime fool. But then I am God's fool, + and all his work must be contemplated with respect. + +So long as that unfortunate speech is remembered there will be +differences of opinion as to its merits and propriety. Clemens himself, +reading it for the first time in nearly thirty years, said: + +"I find it gross, coarse--well, I needn't go on with particulars. I +don't like any part of it, from the beginning to the end. I find it +always offensive and detestable. How do I account for this change of +view? I don't know." + +But almost immediately afterward he gave it another consideration and +reversed his opinion completely. All the spirit and delight of his old +first conception returned, and preparing it for publication, he wrote: + +--[North American Review, December, 1907, now with comment included in +the volume of "Speeches." (Also see Appendix O, at the end of last +volume.)--I have read it twice, and unless I am an idiot it hasn't a +single defect in it, from the first word to the last. It is just as good +as good can be. It is smart; it is saturated with humor. There isn't a +suggestion of coarseness or vulgarity in it anywhere.] + +It was altogether like Mark Twain to have those two absolutely opposing +opinions in that brief time; for, after all, it was only a question of +the human point of view, and Mark Twain's points of view were likely to +be as extremely human as they were varied. + +Of course the first of these impressions, the verdict of the fresh mind +uninfluenced by the old conception, was the more correct one. The speech +was decidedly out of place in that company. The skit was harmless +enough, but it was of the Comstock grain. It lacked refinement, and, +what was still worse, it lacked humor, at least the humor of a kind +suited to that long-ago company of listeners. It was another of those +grievous mistakes which genius (and not talent) can make, for genius is a +sort of possession. The individual is pervaded, dominated for a time by +an angel or an imp, and he seldom, of himself, is able to discriminate +between his controls. A literary imp was always lying in wait for Mark +Twain; the imp of the burlesque, tempting him to do the 'outre', the +outlandish, the shocking thing. It was this that Olivia Clemens had to +labor hardest against: the cheapening of his own high purpose with an +extravagant false note, at which sincerity, conviction, and artistic +harmony took wings and fled away. Notably he did a good burlesque now +and then, but his fame would not have suffered if he had been delivered +altogether from his besetting temptation. + + + + +CXV + +HARTFORD AND BILLIARDS + +Clemens was never much inclined to work, away from his Elmira study. +"Magnanimous Incident Literature" (for the Atlantic) was about his only +completed work of the winter of 1877-78. He was always tinkering with +the "Visit to Heaven," and after one reconstruction Howells suggested +that he bring it out as a book, in England, with Dean Stanley's +indorsement, though this may have been only semi-serious counsel. The +story continued to lie in seclusion. + +Clemens had one new book in the field--a small book, but profitable. Dan +Slote's firm issued for him the Mark Twain Scrap-book, and at the end of +the first royalty period rendered a statement of twenty-five thousand +copies sold, which was well enough for a book that did not contain a +single word that critics could praise or condemn. Slote issued another +little book for him soon after Punch, Brothers, Punch!--which, besides +that lively sketch, contained the "Random Notes" and seven other +selections. + +Mark Twain was tempted to go into the lecture field that winter, not by +any of the offers, though these were numerous enough, but by the idea of +a combination which he thought night be not only profitable but pleasant. +Thomas Nast had made a great success of his caricature lectures, and +Clemens, recalling Nast's long-ago proposal, found it newly attractive. +He wrote characteristically: + + MY DEAR NAST,--I did not think I should ever stand on a platform + again until the time was come for me to say, "I die innocent." But + the same old offers keep arriving. I have declined them all, just + as usual, though sorely tempted, as usual. + + Now, I do not decline because I mind talking to an audience, but + because (1) traveling alone is so heartbreakingly dreary, and (2) + shouldering the whole show is such a cheer-killing responsibility. + + Therefore, I now propose to you what you proposed to me in 1867, ten + years ago (when I was unknown)--viz., that you stand on the platform + and make pictures, and I stand by you and blackguard the audience. + I should enormously enjoy meandering around (to big towns--don't + want to go to the little ones), with you for company. + + My idea is not to fatten the lecture agents and lyceums on the + spoils, but to put all the ducats religiously into two equal piles, + and say to the artist and lecturer, "absorb these." + + For instance, [here follows a plan and a possible list of the cities + to be visited]. The letter continues: + + Call the gross receipts $100,00 for four months and a half, and the + profit from $60,000 to $75,000 (I try to make the figures large + enough, and leave it to the public to reduce them). + + I did not put in Philadelphia because Pugh owns that town, and last + winter, when I made a little reading-trip, he only paid me $300, and + pretended his concert (I read fifteen minutes in the midst of a + concert) cost him a vast sum, and so he couldn't afford any more. + I could get up a better concert with a barrel of cats. + + I have imagined two or three pictures and concocted the accompanying + remarks, to see how the thing would go. I was charmed. + + Well, you think it over, Nast, and drop me a line. We should have + some fun. + + +Undoubtedly this would have been a profitable combination, but Nast had a +distaste for platforming--had given it up, as he thought, for life. So +Clemens settled down to the fireside days, that afforded him always the +larger comfort. The children were at an age "to be entertaining, and to +be entertained." In either case they furnished him plenty of diversion +when he did not care to write. They had learned his gift as a romancer, +and with this audience he might be as extravagant as he liked. They +sometimes assisted by furnishing subjects. They would bring him a +picture, requiring him to invent a story for it without a moment's delay. +Sometimes they suggested the names of certain animals or objects, and +demanded that these be made into a fairy tale. If they heard the name of +any new creature or occupation they were likely to offer them as +impromptu inspiration. Once he was suddenly required to make a story out +of a plumber and a "bawgunstrictor," but he was equal to it. On one side +of the library, along the book-shelves that joined the mantelpiece, were +numerous ornaments and pictures. At one end was the head of a girl, that +they called "Emeline," and at the other was an oil-painting of a cat. +When other subjects failed, the romancer was obliged to build a story +impromptu, and without preparation, beginning with the cat, working along +through the bric-a-brac, and ending with "Emeline." This was the +unvarying program. He was not allowed to begin with "Emeline" and end +with the cat, and he was not permitted to introduce an ornament from any +other portion of the room. He could vary the story as much as he liked. +In fact, he was required to do that. The trend of its chapters, from the +cat to "Emeline," was a well-trodden and ever-entertaining way. + +He gave up his luxurious study to the children as a sort of nursery and +playroom, and took up his writing-quarters, first in a room over the +stables, then in the billiard-room, which, on the whole, he preferred to +any other place, for it was a third-story remoteness, and he could knock +the balls about for inspiration. + +The billiard-room became his headquarters. He received his callers there +and impressed them into the game. If they could play, well and good; if +they could not play, so much the better--he could beat them +extravagantly, and he took a huge delight in such conquests. Every +Friday evening, or oftener, a small party of billiard-lovers gathered, +and played until a late hour, told stories, and smoked till the room was +blue, comforting themselves with hot Scotch and general good-fellowship. +Mark Twain always had a genuine passion for billiards. He was never +tired of the game. He could play all night. He would stay till the last +man gave out from sheer weariness; then he would go on knocking the balls +about alone. He liked to invent new games and new rules for old games, +often inventing a rule on the spur of the moment to fit some particular +shot or position on the table. It amused him highly to do this, to make +the rule advantage his own play, and to pretend a deep indignation when +his opponents disqualified his rulings and rode him down. S. C. Dunham +was among those who belonged to the "Friday Evening Club," as they called +it, and Henry C. Robinson, long dead, and rare Ned Bunce, and F. G. +Whitmore; and the old room there at the top of the house, with its little +outside balcony, rang with their voices and their laughter in that day +when life and the world for them was young. Clemens quoted to them +sometimes: + + Come, fill the cup, and in the fire of spring + Your winter garment of repentance fling; + The bird of time has but a little way + To flutter, and the bird is on the wing. + +Omar was new then on this side of the Atlantic, and to his serene "eat, +drink, and be merry" philosophy, in Fitzgerald's rhyme, these were early +converts. Mark Twain had an impressive, musical delivery of verse; the +players were willing at any moment to listen as he recited: + + For some we loved, the loveliest and best + That from his vintage rolling time has prest, + Have drunk their cup a round or two before, + And one by one crept silently to rest. + Ah, make the most of what we yet may spend, + Before we too into the dust descend; + Dust unto dust, and under dust to lie, + Sans wine, sans song, sans singer, and--sans End.' + +--[The 'Rubaiyat' had made its first appearance, in Hartford, a little +before in a column of extracts published in the Courant.] Twichell +immediately wrote Clemens a card: + +"Read (if you haven't) the extracts from Oman Khayyam, on the first page +of this morning's Courant. I think we'll have to get the book. I never +yet came across anything that uttered certain thoughts of mine so. +adequately. And it's only a translation. Read it, and we'll talk it +over. There is something in it very like the passage of Emerson you read +me last night, in fact identical with it in thought. + +"Surely this Omar was a great poet. Anyhow, he has given me an immense +revelation this morning. + +"Hoping that you are better, + + J. H. T." + +Twichell's "only a translation" has acquired a certain humor with time. + + + + +CXVI + +OFF FOR GERMANY + +The German language became one of the interests of the Clemens home +during the early months of 1878. The Clemenses had long looked forward +to a sojourn in Europe, and the demand for another Mark Twain book of +travel furnished an added reason for their going. They planned for the +spring sailing, and to spend a year or more on the Continent, making +their headquarters in Germany. So they entered into the study of the +language with an enthusiasm and perseverance that insured progress. +There was a German nurse for the children, and the whole atmosphere of +the household presently became lingually Teutonic. It amused Mark Twain, +as everything amused him, but he was a good student; he acquired a +working knowledge of the language in an extraordinarily brief time, just +as in an earlier day he had picked up piloting. He would never become a +German scholar, but his vocabulary and use of picturesque phrases, +particularly those that combined English and German words, were often +really startling, not only for their humor, but for their expressiveness. + +Necessarily the new study would infect his literature. He conceived a +plan for making Captain Wakeman (Stormfield) come across a copy of +Ollendorf in Heaven, and proceed to learn the language of a near-lying +district. + +They arranged to sail early in April, and, as on their former trip, +persuaded Miss Clara Spaulding, of Elmira, to accompany them. They wrote +to the Howellses, breaking the news of the journey, urging them to come +to Hartford for a good-by visit. Howells and his wife came. The +Twichells, Warners, and other Hartford friends paid repeated farewell +calls. The furniture was packed, the rooms desolated, the beautiful home +made ready for closing. + +They were to have pleasant company on the ship. Bayard Taylor, then +recently appointed Minister to Germany, wrote that he had planned to sail +on the same vessel; Murat Halstead's wife and daughter were listed among +the passengers. Clemens made a brief speech at Taylor's "farewell +dinner." + +The "Mark Twain" party, consisting of Mr. and Mrs. Clemens, Miss +Spaulding, little Susy and Clara ("Bay"), and a nurse-maid, Rosa, sailed +on the Holsatia, April 11, 1878. Bayard Taylor and the Halstead ladies +also sailed, as per program; likewise Murat Halstead himself, for whom no +program had been made. There was a storm outside, and the Holsatia +anchored down the bay to wait until the worst was over. As the weather +began to moderate Halstead and others came down in a tug for a final word +of good-by. When the tug left, Halstead somehow managed to get +overlooked, and was presently on his way across the ocean with only such +wardrobe as he had on, and what Bayard Taylor, a large man like himself, +was willing to lend him. Halstead was accused of having intentionally +allowed himself to be left behind, and his case did have a suspicious +look; but in any event they were glad to have him along. + +In a written word of good-by to Howells, Clemens remembered a debt of +gratitude, and paid it in the full measure that was his habit. + + And that reminds me, ungrateful dog that I am, that I owe as much to + your training as the rude country job-printer owes to the city boss + who takes him in hand and teaches him the right way to handle his + art. I was talking to Mrs. Clemens about this the other day, and + grieving because I never mentioned it to you, thereby seeming to + ignore it or to be unaware of it. Nothing that has passed under + your eye needs any revision before going into a volume, while all my + other stuff does need so much. + +In that ancient day, before the wireless telegraph, the voyager, when the +land fell away behind him, felt a mighty sense of relief and rest, which +to some extent has gone now forever. He cannot entirely escape the world +in this new day; but then he had a complete sense of dismissal from all +encumbering cares of life. Among the first note-book entries Mark Twain +wrote: + +To go abroad has something of the same sense that death brings--"I am no +longer of ye; what ye say of me is now of no consequence--but of how much +consequence when I am with ye and of ye. I know you will refrain from +saying harsh things because they cannot hurt me, since I am out of reach +and cannot hear them. This is why we say no harsh things of the dead." + +It was a rough voyage outside, but the company made it pleasant within. +Halstead and Taylor were good smoking-room companions. Taylor had a +large capacity for languages and a memory that was always a marvel. He +would repeat for them Arabian, Hungarian, and Russian poetry, and show +them the music and construction of it. He sang German folk-lore songs +for them, and the "Lorelei," then comparatively unknown in America. Such +was his knowledge of the language that even educated Germans on board +submitted questions of construction to him and accepted his decisions. +He was wisely chosen for the mission he had to fill, but unfortunately he +did not fill it long. Both Halstead and Taylor were said to have heart +trouble. Halstead, however, survived many years. Taylor died +December 19, 1878. + + + + +CXVII + +GERMANY AND GERMAN + +From the note-book: + + It is a marvel that never loses its surprise by repetition, this + aiming a ship at a mark three thousand miles away and hitting the + bull's-eye in a fog--as we did. When the fog fell on us the captain + said we ought to be at such and such a spot (it had been eighteen + hours since an observation was had), with the Scilly islands bearing + so and so, and about so many miles away. Hove the lead and got + forty-eight fathoms; looked on the chart, and sure enough this depth + of water showed that we were right where the captain said we were. + + Another idea. For ages man probably did not know why God carpeted + the ocean bottom with sand in one place, shells in another, and so + on. But we see now; the kind of bottom the lead brings up shows + where a ship is when the soundings don't, and also it confirms the + soundings. + +They reached Hamburg after two weeks' stormy sailing. They rested a few +days there, then went to Hanover and Frankfort, arriving at Heidelberg +early in May. + +They had no lodgings selected in Heidelberg, and leaving the others at an +inn, Clemens set out immediately to find apartments. Chance or +direction, or both, led him to the beautiful Schloss Hotel, on a hill +overlooking the city, and as fair a view as one may find in all Germany. +He did not go back after his party. He sent a message telling them to +take carriage and drive at once to the Schloss, then he sat down to enjoy +the view. + +Coming up the hill they saw him standing on the veranda, waving his hat +in welcome. He led them to their rooms--spacious apartments--and pointed +to the view. They were looking down on beautiful Heidelberg Castle, +densely wooded hills, the far-flowing Neckar, and the haze-empurpled +valley of the Rhine. By and by, pointing to a small cottage on the +hilltop, he said: + +"I have been picking out my little house to work in; there it is over +there; the one with the gable in the roof. Mine is the middle room on +the third floor." + +Mrs. Clemens thought the occupants of the house might be surprised if he +should suddenly knock and tell them he had come to take possession of his +room. Nevertheless, they often looked over in that direction and +referred to it as his office. They amused themselves by watching his +"people" and trying to make out what they were like. One day he went +over there, and sure enough there was a sign out, "Moblirte Wohnung zu +Vermiethen." A day or two later he was established in the very room he +had selected, it being the only room but one vacant. + +In A Tramp Abroad Mark Twain tells of the beauty of their Heidelberg +environment. To Howells he wrote: + + Our bedroom has two great glass bird-cages (inclosed balconies), one + looking toward the Rhine Valley and sunset, the other looking up the + Neckar cul-de-sac, and naturally we spend pearly all our time in + these. We have tables and chairs in them; we do our reading, + writing, studying, smoking, and suppering in them . . . . It + must have been a noble genius who devised this hotel. Lord, how + blessed is the repose, the tranquillity of this place! Only two + sounds: the happy clamor of the birds in the groves and the muffled + music of the Neckar tumbling over the opposing dikes. It is no + hardship to lie awake awhile nights, for this subdued roar has + exactly the sound of a steady rain beating upon a roof. It is so + healing to the spirit; and it bears up the thread of one's + imaginings as the accompaniment bears up a song.... + + I have waited for a "call" to go to work--I knew it would come. + Well, it began to come a week ago; my note-book comes out more and + more frequently every day since; three days ago I concluded to move + my manuscripts over to my den. Now the call is loud and decided at + last. So to-morrow I shall begin regular, steady work, and stick to + it till the middle of July or August 1st, when I look for Twichell; + we will then walk about Germany two or three weeks, and then I'll go + to work again (perhaps in Munich). + +The walking tour with Twichell had been contemplated in the scheme for +gathering book material, but the plan for it had not been completed when +he left Hartford. Now he was anxious that they should start as soon as +possible. Twichell, receiving the news in Hartford, wrote that it was a +great day for him: that his third son had been happily born early that +morning, and now the arrival of this glorious gift of a tramp through +Germany and Switzerland completed his blessings. + + I am almost too joyful for pleasure [he wrote]. I labor with my + felicities. How I shall get to sleep to-night I don't know, though + I have had a good start, in not having slept much last night. Oh, + my! do you realize, Mark, what a symposium it is to be? I do. To + begin with, I am thoroughly tired and the rest will be worth + everything. To walk with you and talk with you for weeks together-- + why, it's my dream of luxury. Harmony, who at sunrise this morning + deemed herself the happiest woman on the Continent when I read your + letter to her, widened her smile perceptibly, and revived another + degree of strength in a minute. She refused to consider her being + left alone; but: only the great chance opened to me. + + SHOES--Mark, remember that ever so much of our pleasure depends upon + your shoes. Don't fail to have adequate preparation made in that + department. + +Meantime, the struggle with the "awful German language" went on. It was +a general hand-to-hand contest. From the head of the household down to +little Clara not one was exempt. To Clemens it became a sort of +nightmare. Once in his note-book he says: + +"Dreamed all bad foreigners went to German heaven; couldn't talk, and +wished they had gone to the other place"; and a little farther along, +"I wish I could hear myself talk German." + +To Mrs. Crane, in Elmira, he reported their troubles: + + Clara Spaulding is working herself to death with her German; never + loses an instant while she is awake--or asleep, either, for that + matter; dreams of enormous serpents, who poke their heads up under + her arms and glare upon her with red-hot eyes, and inquire about the + genitive case and the declensions of the definite article. Livy is + bully-ragging herself about as hard; pesters over her grammar and + her reader and her dictionary all day; then in the evening these two + students stretch themselves out on sofas and sigh and say, "Oh, + there's no use! We never can learn it in the world!" Then Livy + takes a sentence to go to bed on: goes gaping and stretching to her + pillow murmuring, "Ich bin Ihnen sehr verbunden--Ich bin Ihnen sehr + verbunden--Ich bin Ihnen sehr verbunden--I wonder if I can get that + packed away so it will stay till morning"--and about an hour after + midnight she wakes me up and says, "I do so hate to disturb you, but + is it 'Ich Ben Jonson sehr befinden'?" + +And Mrs. Clemens wrote: + + Oh, Sue dear, strive to enter in at the straight gate, for many + shall seek to enter it and shall not be able. I am not striving + these days. I am just interested in German. + +Rosa, the maid, was required to speak to the children only in German, +though Bay at first would have none of it. The nurse and governess tried +to blandish her, in vain. She maintained a calm and persistent attitude +of scorn. Little Susy tried, and really made progress; but one, day she +said, pathetically: + +"Mama, I wish Rosa was made in English." + +Yet a little later Susy herself wrote her Aunt Sue: + + I know a lot of German; everybody says I know a lot. I give you a + million dollars to see you, and you would give two hundred dollars + to see the lovely woods that we see. + +Even Howells, in far-off America, caught the infection and began a letter +in German, though he hastened to add, "Or do you prefer English by this +time? Really I could imagine the German going hard with you, for you +always seemed to me a man who liked to be understood with the least +possible personal inconvenience." + +Clemens declared more than once that he scorned the "outrageous and +impossible German grammar," and abandoned it altogether. In his note- +book he records how two Germans, strangers in Heidelberg, asked him a +direction, and that when he gave it, in the most elaborate and correct +German he could muster, one of them only lifted his eyes and murmured: + +"Gott im Himmel!" + +He was daily impressed with the lingual attainments of foreigners and his +own lack of them. In the notes he comments: + + Am addressed in German, and when I can't speak it immediately the + person tackles me in French, and plainly shows astonishment when I + stop him. They naturally despise such an ignoramus. Our doctor + here speaks as pure English, as I. + +On the Fourth of July he addressed the American students in Heidelberg in +one of those mixtures of tongues for which he had a peculiar gift. + +The room he had rented for a study was let by a typical German family, +and he was a great delight to them. He practised his German on them, and +interested himself in their daily affairs. + +Howells wrote insistently for some assurance of contributions to the +Atlantic. + +"I must begin printing your private letters to satisfy the popular +demand," he said. "People are constantly asking when you are going to +begin." + +Clemens replied that he would be only too glad to write for the Atlantic +if his contributions could be copyrighted in Canada, where pirates were +persistently enterprising. + +I do not know that I have any printable stuff just now--separatable +stuff, that is--but I shall have by and by. It is very gratifying to +hear that it is wanted by anybody. I stand always prepared to hear the +reverse, and am constantly surprised that it is delayed so long. +Consequently it is not going to astonish me when it comes. + +The Clemens party enjoyed Heidelberg, though in different ways. The +children romped and picnicked in the castle grounds, which adjoined the +hotel; Mrs. Clemens and Miss Spaulding were devoted to bric-a-brac +hunting, picture-galleries, and music. Clemens took long walks, or made +excursions by rail and diligence to farther points. Art and opera did +not appeal to him. The note-book says: + + I have attended operas, whenever I could not help it, for fourteen + years now; I am sure I know of no agony comparable to the listening + to an unfamiliar opera. I am enchanted with the airs of "Trovatore" + and other old operas which the hand-organ and the music-box have + made entirely familiar to my ear. I am carried away with delighted + enthusiasm when they are sung at the opera. But oh, how far between + they are! And what long, arid, heartbreaking and headaching + "between-times" of that sort of intense but incoherent noise which + always so reminds me of the time the orphan asylum burned down. + + Sunday night, 11th. Huge crowd out to-night to hear the band play + the "Fremersberg." I suppose it is very low-grade music--I know it + must be low-grade music--because it so delighted me, it so warmed + me, moved me, stirred me, uplifted me, enraptured me, that at times + I could have cried, and at others split my throat with shouting. + The great crowd was another evidence that it was low-grade music, + for only the few are educated up to a point where high-class music + gives pleasure. I have never heard enough classic music to be able + to enjoy it, and the simple truth is I detest it. Not mildly, but + with all my heart. + + What a poor lot we human beings are anyway! If base music gives me + wings, why should I want any other? But I do. I want to like the + higher music because the higher and better like it. But you see I + want to like it without taking the necessary trouble, and giving the + thing the necessary amount of time and attention. The natural + suggestion is, to get into that upper tier, that dress-circle, by a + lie--we will pretend we like it. This lie, this pretense, gives to + opera what support it has in America. + + And then there is painting. What a red rag is to a bull Turner's + "Slave Ship" is to me. Mr. Ruskin is educated in art up to a point + where that picture throws him into as mad an ecstasy of pleasure as + it throws me into one of rage. His cultivation enables him to see + water in that yellow mud; his cultivation reconciles the floating of + unfloatable things to him--chains etc.; it reconciles him to fishes + swimming on top of the water. The most of the picture is a manifest + impossibility, that is to say, a lie; and only rigid cultivation can + enable a man to find truth in a lie. A Boston critic said the + "Slave Ship" reminded him of a cat having a fit in a platter of + tomatoes. That went home to my non-cultivation, and I thought, here + is a man with an unobstructed eye. + +Mark Twain has dwelt somewhat upon these matters in 'A Tramp Abroad'. He +confesses in that book that later he became a great admirer of Turner, +though perhaps never of the "Slave Ship" picture. In fact, Mark Twain +was never artistic, in the common acceptance of that term; neither his +art nor his tastes were of an "artistic" kind. + + + + + +CXVIII + +TRAMPING WITH TWICHELL + +Twichell arrived on time, August 1st. Clemens met him at Baden-Baden, +and they immediately set out on a tramp through the Black Forest, +excursioning as pleased them, and having an idyllic good time. They did +not always walk, but they often did. At least they did sometimes, when +the weather was just right and Clemens's rheumatism did not trouble him. +But they were likely to take a carriage, or a donkey-cart, or a train, or +any convenient thing that happened along. They did not hurry, but idled +and talked and gathered flowers, or gossiped with wayside natives and +tourists, though always preferring to wander along together, beguiling +the way with discussion and speculation and entertaining tales. They +crossed on into Switzerland in due time and considered the conquest of +the Alps. The family followed by rail or diligence, and greeted them +here and there when they rested from their wanderings. Mark Twain found +an immunity from attention in Switzerland, which for years he had not +known elsewhere. His face was not so well known and his pen-name was +carefully concealed. + +It was a large relief to be no longer an object of public curiosity; but +Twichell, as in the Bermuda trip, did not feel quite honest, perhaps, in +altogether preserving the mask of unrecognition. In one of his letters +home he tells how; when a young man at their table was especially +delighted with Mark Twain's conversation, he could not resist taking the +young man aside and divulging to him the speaker's identity. + +"I could not forbear telling him who Mark was," he says, "and the mingled +surprise and pleasure his face exhibited made me glad I had done so." + +They climbed the Rigi, after which Clemens was not in good walking trim +for some time; so Twichell went on a trip on his own account, to give his +comrade a chance to rest. Then away again to Interlaken, where the +Jungfrau rises, cold and white; on over the loneliness of Gemini Pass, +with glaciers for neighbors and the unfading white peaks against the +blue; to Visp and to Zermatt, where the Matterhorn points like a finger +that directs mankind to God. This was true Alpine wandering--sweet +vagabondage. + +The association of the wanderers was a very intimate one. Their minds +were closely attuned, and there were numerous instances of thought--echo- +mind answering to mind--without the employment of words. Clemens records +in his notes: + + Sunday A.M., August 11th. Been reading Romola yesterday afternoon, + last night, and this morning; at last I came upon the only passage + which has thus far hit me with force--Tito compromising with his + conscience, and resolving to do; not a bad thing, but not the best + thing. Joe entered the room five minutes--no, three minutes later-- + and without prelude said, "I read that book you've got there six + years ago, and got a mighty good text for a sermon out of it the + passage where the young fellow compromises with his conscience, and + resolves to do, not a bad thing, but not the best thing." This is + Joe's first reference to this book since he saw me buy it twenty- + four hours ago. So my mind operated on his in this instance. He + said he was sitting yonder in the reading-room, three minutes ago (I + have not got up yet), thinking of nothing in particular, and didn't + know what brought Romola into his head; but into his head it came + and that particular passage. Now I, forty feet away, in another + room, was reading that particular passage at that particular moment. + + Couldn't suggest Romola to him earlier, because nothing in the book + had taken hold of me till I came to that one passage on page 112, + Tauchnitz edition. + +And again: + + The instances of mind-telegraphing are simply innumerable. This + evening Joe and I sat long at the edge of the village looking at the + Matterhorn. Then Joe said, "We ought to go to the Cervin Hotel and + inquire for Livy's telegram." If he had been but one instant later + I should have said those words instead of him. + +Such entries are frequent, and one day there came along a kind of object- +lesson. They were toiling up a mountainside, when Twichell began telling +a very interesting story which had happened in connection with a friend +still living, though Twichell had no knowledge of his whereabouts at this +time. The story finished just as they rounded a turn in, the cliff, and +Twichell, looking up, ended his last sentence, "And there's the man!" +Which was true, for they were face to face with the very man of whom he +had been telling. + +Another subject that entered into their discussion was the law of +accidents. Clemens held that there was no such thing an accident: that +it was all forewritten in the day of the beginning; that every event, +however slight, was embryonic in that first instant of created life, and +immutably timed to its appearance in the web of destiny. Once on their +travels, when they were on a high bank above a brawling stream, a little +girl, who started to run toward them, slipped and rolled under the bottom +rail of the protecting fence, her feet momentarily hanging out over the +precipice and the tearing torrent below. It seemed a miraculous escape +from death, and furnished an illustration for their discussion. The +condition of the ground, the force of her fall, the nearness of the fatal +edge, all these had grown inevitably out of the first great projection of +thought, and the child's fall and its escape had been invested in life's +primal atom. + +The author of A Tramp Abroad tells us of the rushing stream that flows +out of the Arcadian sky valley, the Gasternthal, and goes plunging down +to Kandersteg, and how he took exercise by making "Harris" (Twichell) set +stranded logs adrift while he lounged comfortably on a boulder, and +watched them go tearing by; also how he made Harris run a race with one +of those logs. But that is literature. Twichell, in a letter home, has +preserved a likelier and lovelier story: + + Mark is a queer fellow. There is nothing that he so delights in as + a swift, strong stream. You can hardly get him to leave one when + once he is within the influence of its fascinations. To throw in + stones and sticks seems to afford him rapture. Tonight, as we were + on our way back to the hotel, seeing a lot of driftwood caught by + the torrent side below the path, I climbed down and threw it in. + When I got back to the path Mark was running down-stream after it as + hard as he could go, throwing up his hands and shouting in the + wildest ecstasy, and when a piece went over a fall and emerged to + view in the foam below he would jump up and down and yell. He said + afterward that he hadn't been so excited in three months. He acted + just like a boy; another feature of his extreme sensitiveness in + certain directions. + +Then generalizing, Twichell adds: + + He has coarse spots in him. But I never knew a person so finely + regardful of the feelings of others in some ways. He hates to pass + another person walking, and will practise some subterfuge to take + off what he feels is the discourtesy of it. And he is exceedingly + timid, tremblingly timid, about approaching strangers; hates to ask + a question. His sensitive regard for others extends to animals. + When we are driving his concern is all about the horse. He can't + bear to see the whip used, or to see a horse pull hard. To-day, + when the driver clucked up his horse and quickened his pace a + little, Mark said, "The fellow's got the notion that we are in a + hurry." He is exceedingly considerate toward me in regard of + everything--or most things. + +The days were not all sunshine. Sometimes it rained and they took +shelter by the wayside, or, if there was no shelter, they plodded along +under their umbrellas, still talking away, and if something occurred that +Clemens wanted to put down they would stand stock still in the rain, and +Twichell would hold the umbrella while Clemens wrote--a good while +sometimes--oblivious to storm and discomfort and the long way yet ahead. + +After the day on Gemmi Pass Twichell wrote home: + + Mark, to-day, was immensely absorbed in the flowers. He scrambled + around and gathered a great variety, and manifested the intensest + pleasure in them. He crowded a pocket of his note-book with his + specimens and wanted more room. So I stopped the guide and got out + my needle and thread, and out of a stiff paper, a hotel + advertisement, I had about me made a paper bag, a cornucopia like, + and tied it to his vest in front, and it answered the purpose + admirably. He filled it full with a beautiful collection, and as + soon as we got here to-night he transferred it to a cardboard box + and sent it by mail to Livy. A strange Mark he is, full of + contradictions. I spoke last night of his sensitive to others' + feelings. To-day the guide got behind, and came up as if he would + like to go by, yet hesitated to do so. Mark paused, went aside and + busied himself a minute picking a flower. In the halt the guide got + by and resumed his place in front. Mark threw the flower away, + saying, "I didn't want that. I only wanted to give the old man a + chance to go on without seeming to pass us." Mark is splendid to + walk with amid such grand scenery, for he talks so well about it, + has such a power of strong, picturesque expression. I wish you + might have heard him to-day. His vigorous speech nearly did justice + to the things we saw. + +In an address which Twichell gave many years later he recalls another +pretty incident of their travels. They had been toiling up the Gorner +Grat. + +As we paused for a rest, a lamb from a flock of sheep near by ventured +inquisitively toward us, whereupon Mark seated himself on a rock, and +with beckoning hand and soft words tried to get it to come to him. + +On the lamb's part it was a struggle between curiosity and timidity, but +in a succession of advances and retreats it gained confidence, though at +a very gradual rate. It was a scene for a painter: the great American +humorist on one side of the game and that silly little creature on the +other, with the Matterhorn for a background. Mark was reminded that the +time he was consuming was valuable--but to no purpose. The Gorner Grat +could wait. He held on with undiscouraged perseverance till he carried +his point: the lamb finally put its nose in his hand, and he was happy +over it all the rest of the day. + +The matter of religion came up now and again in the drift of their +discussions. It was Twichell's habit to have prayers in their room every +night at the hotels, and Clemens was willing to join in the observances. +Once Twichell, finding him in a responsive mood--a remorseful mood--gave +his sympathy, and spoke of the larger sympathy of divinity. Clemens +listened and seemed soothed and impressed, but his philosophies were too +wide and too deep for creeds and doctrines. A day or two later, as they +were tramping along in the hot sun, his honesty had to speak out. + +"Joe," he said, "I'm going to make a confession. I don't believe in your +religion at all. I've been living a lie right straight along whenever I +pretended to. For a moment, sometimes, I have been almost a believer, +but it immediately drifts away from me again. I don't believe one word +of your Bible was inspired by God any more than any other book. I +believe it is entirely the work of man from beginning to end--atonement +and all. The problem of life and death and eternity and the true +conception of God is a bigger thing than is contained in that book." + +So the personal side of religious discussion closed between them, and was +never afterward reopened. + +They joined Mrs. Clemens and the others at Lausanne at last, and their +Swiss holiday was over. Twichell set out for home by way of England, and +Clemens gave himself up to reflection and rest after his wanderings. +Then, as the days of their companionship passed in review, quickly and +characteristically he sent a letter after his comrade: + + DEAR OLD JOE, It is actually all over! I was so low-spirited at the + station yesterday, and this morning, when I woke, I couldn't seem to + accept the dismal truth that you were really gone, and the pleasant + tramping and talking at an end. Ah, my boy! it has been such a + rich holiday to me, and I feel under such deep and honest + obligations to you for coming. I am putting out of my mind all + memory of the times when I misbehaved toward you and hurt you; I am + resolved to consider it forgiven, and to store up and remember only + the charming hours of the journeys and the times when I was not + unworthy to be with you and share a companionship which to me stands + first after Livy's. It is justifiable to do this; for why should I + let my small infirmities of disposition live and grovel among my + mental pictures of the eternal sublimities of the Alps? + + Livy can't accept or endure the fact that you are gone. But you + are, and we cannot get around it. So take our love with you, and + bear it also over the sea to Harmony, and God bless you both. + + MARK. + + + + +CXIX + +ITALIAN DAYS + +The Clemens party wandered down into Italy--to the lakes, Venice, +Florence, Rome--loitering through the galleries, gathering here and there +beautiful furnishings--pictures, marbles, and the like--for the Hartford +home. + +In Venice they bought an old careen bed, a massive regal affair with +serpentine columns surmounted by singularly graceful cupids, and with +other cupids sporting on the headboard: the work of some artist who had +been dust three centuries maybe, for this bed had come out of an old +Venetian palace, dismantled and abandoned. It was a furniture with a +long story, and the years would add mightily to its memories. It would +become a stately institution in the Clemens household. The cupids on the +posts were removable, and one of the highest privileges of childhood +would be to occupy that bed and have down one of the cupids to play with. +It was necessary to be ill to acquire that privilege--not violently and +dangerously ill, but interestingly so--ill enough to be propped up with +pillows and have one's meals served on a tray, with dolls and picture- +books handy, and among them a beautiful rosewood cupid who had kept +dimpled and dainty for so many, many years. + +They spent three weeks in Venice: a dreamlike experience, especially for +the children, who were on the water most of the time, and became fast +friends with their gondolier, who taught them some Italian words; then a +week in Florence and a fortnight in Rome.--[From the note-book: +"BAY--When the waiter brought my breakfast this morning I spoke to him in +Italian. +"MAMA--What did you say? +"B.--I said, 'Polly-vo fransay.' +"M.--What does it mean? +"B.--I don't know. What does it mean, Susy? +"S.-It means, 'Polly wants a cracker."] + +Clemens discovered that in twelve years his attitude had changed somewhat +concerning the old masters. He no longer found the bright, new copies an +improvement on the originals, though the originals still failed to wake +his enthusiasm. Mrs. Clemens and Miss Spaulding spent long hours +wandering down avenues of art, accompanied by him on occasion, though not +always willingly. He wrote his sorrow to Twichell: + +I do wish you were in Rome to do my sight-seeing for me. Rome interests +me as much as East Hartford could, and no more; that is, the Rome which +the average tourist feels an interest in. There are other things here +which stir me enough to make life worth living. Livy and Clara are +having a royal time worshiping the old masters, and I as good a time +gritting my ineffectual teeth over them. + +Once when Sarah Orne Jewett was with the party he remarked that if the +old masters had labeled their fruit one wouldn't be so likely to mistake +pears for turnips. + +"Youth," said Mrs. Clemens, gravely, "if you do not care for these +masterpieces yourself, you might at least consider the feelings of +others"; and Miss Jewett, regarding him severely, added, in her quaint +Yankee fashion: + +"Now, you've been spoke to!" + +He felt duly reprimanded, but his taste did not materially reform. He +realized that he was no longer in a proper frame of mind to write of +general sight-seeing. One must be eager, verdant, to write happily the +story of travel. Replying to a letter from Howells on the subject he +said: + + I wish I could give those sharp satires on European life which you + mention, but of course a man can't write successful satire except he + be in a calm, judicial good-humor; whereas I hate travel, and I hate + hotels, and I hate the opera, and I hate the old masters. In truth + I don't ever seem to be in a good enough humor with anything to + satirize it. No, I want to stand up before it and curse it and foam + at the mouth, or take a club and pound it to rags and pulp. I have + got in two or three chapters about Wagner's operas, and managed to + do it without showing temper, but the strain of another such effort + would burst me. + +Clemens became his own courier for a time in Italy, and would seem to +have made more of a success of it than he did a good many years +afterward, if we may believe the story he has left us of his later +attempt: + +"Am a shining success as a courier," he records, "by the use of francs. +Have learned how to handle the railway guide intelligently and with +confidence." + +He declares that he will have no more couriers; but possibly he could +have employed one to advantage on the trip out of Italy, for it was a +desperately hard one, with bad connections and delayed telegrams. When, +after thirty-six hours weary, continuous traveling, they arrived at last +in Munich in a drizzle and fog, and were domiciled in their winter +quarters, at No. 1a, Karlstrasse, they felt that they had reached the +home of desolation itself, the very throne of human misery. + + And the rooms were so small, the conveniences so meager, and the + porcelain stove was grim, ghastly, dismal, intolerable! So Livy and + Clara Spaulding sat down forlorn and cried, and I retired to a + private place to pray. By and by we all retired to our narrow + German beds, and when Livy and I had finished talking across the + room it was all decided that we should rest twenty-four hours, then + pay whatever damages were required and straightway fly to the south + of France. + +The rooms had been engaged by letter, months before, of their +proprietress, Fraulein Dahlweiner, who had met them at the door with a +lantern in her hand, full of joy in their arrival and faith in her +ability to make them happy. It was a faith that was justified. Next +morning, when they all woke, rested, the weather had cleared, there were +bright fires in the rooms, the world had taken on a new aspect. Fraulein +Dahlweiner, the pathetic, hard-working little figure, became almost +beautiful in their eyes in her efforts for their comfort. She arranged +larger rooms and better conveniences for them. Their location was +central and there was a near-by park. They had no wish to change. +Clemens, in his letter to Howells, boasts that he brought the party +through from Rome himself, and that they never had so little trouble +before; but in looking over this letter, thirty years later, he +commented, "Probably a lie." + +He secured a room some distance away for his work, but then could not +find his Swiss note-book. He wrote Twichell that he had lost it, and +that after all he might not be obliged to write a volume of travels. But +the notebook turned up and the work on the new book proceeded. For a +time it went badly. He wrote many chapters, only to throw them aside. +He had the feeling that he had somehow lost the knack of descriptive +narrative. He had become, as it seemed, too didactic. He thought his +description was inclined to be too literal, his humor manufactured. +These impressions passed, by and by; interest developed, and with it +enthusiasm and confidence. In a letter to Twichell he reported his +progress: + +I was about to write to my publisher and propose some other book, when +the confounded thing [the note-book] turned up, and down went my heart +into my boots. But there was now no excuse, so I went solidly to work, +tore up a great part of the MS. written in Heidelberg--wrote and tore up, +continued to write and tear up--and at last, reward of patient and noble +persistence, my pen got the old swing again! Since then I'm glad that +Providence knew better what to do with the Swiss notebook than I did. + +Further along in the same letter there breaks forth a true heart-answer +to that voice of the Alps which, once heard, is never wholly silent: + + O Switzerland! The further it recedes into the enriching haze of + time, the more intolerably delicious the charm of it and the cheer + of it and the glory and majesty, and solemnity and pathos of it + grow. Those mountains had a soul: they thought, they spoke. And + what a voice it was! And how real! Deep down in my memory it is + sounding yet. Alp calleth unto Alp! That stately old Scriptural + wording is the right one for God's Alps and God's ocean. How puny + we were in that awful Presence, and how painless it was to be so! + How fitting and right it seemed, and how stingless was the sense of + our unspeakable insignificance! And Lord, how pervading were the + repose and peace and blessedness that poured out of the heart of the + invisible Great Spirit of the mountains! + + Now what is it? There are mountains and mountains and mountains in + this world, but only these take you by the heartstrings. I wonder + what the secret of it is. Well, time and time and again it has + seemed to me that I must drop everything and flee to Switzerland + once more. It is a longings deep, strong, tugging longing. That is + the word. We must go again, Joe. + + + + +CXX + +IN MUNICH + +That winter in Munich was not recalled as an unpleasant one in after- +years. His work went well enough--always a chief source of +gratification. Mrs. Clemens and Miss Spaulding found interest in the +galleries, in quaint shops, in the music and picturesque life of that +beautiful old Bavarian town. The children also liked Munich. It was +easy for them to adopt any new environment or custom. The German +Christmas, with its lavish tree and toys and cakes, was an especial +delight. The German language they seemed fairly to absorb. Writing to +his mother Clemens said: + +I cannot see but that the children speak German as well as they do +English. Susy often translates Livy's orders to the servants. I cannot +work and study German at the same time; so I have dropped the latter and +do not even read the language, except in the morning paper to get the +news. + +In Munich--as was the case wherever they were known--there were many +callers. Most Americans and many foreigners felt it proper to call on +Mark Twain. It was complimentary, but it was wearying sometimes. Mrs. +Clemens, in a letter written from Venice, where they had received even +more than usual attention, declared there were moments when she almost +wished she might never see a visitor again. + +Originally there was a good deal about Munich in the new book, and some +of the discarded chapters might have been retained with advantage. They +were ruled out in the final weeding as being too serious, along with the +French chapters. Only a few Italian memories were left to follow the +Switzerland wanderings. + +The book does record one Munich event, though transferring it to +Heilsbronn. It is the incident of the finding of the lost sock in the +vast bedroom. It may interest the reader to compare what really +happened, as set down in a letter to Twichell, with the story as written +for publication: + + Last night I awoke at three this morning, and after raging to myself + for two interminable hours I gave it up. I rose, assumed a catlike + stealthiness, to keep from waking Livy, and proceeded to dress in + the pitch-dark. Slowly but surely I got on garment after garment-- + all down to one sock; I had one slipper on and the other in my hand. + Well, on my hands and knees I crept softly around, pawing and + feeling and scooping along the carpet, and among chair-legs, for + that missing sock, I kept that up, and still kept it up, and kept it + up. At first I only said to myself, "Blame that sock," but that + soon ceased to answer. My expletives grew steadily stronger and + stronger, and at last, when I found I was lost, I had to sit flat + down on the floor and take hold of something to keep from lifting + the roof off with the profane explosion that was trying to get out + of me. I could see the dim blur of the window, but of course it was + in the wrong place and could give me no information as to where I + was. But I had one comfort--I had not waked Livy; I believed I + could find that sock in silence if the night lasted long enough. + So I started again and softly pawed all over the place, and sure + enough, at the end of half an hour I laid my hand on the missing + article. I rose joyfully up and butted the washbowl and pitcher off + the stand, and simply raised ---- so to speak. Livy screamed, then + said, "Who is it? What is the matter?" I said, "There ain't + anything the matter. I'm hunting for my sock." She said, "Are you + hunting for it with a club?" + + I went in the parlor and lit the lamp, and gradually the fury + subsided and the ridiculous features of the thing began to suggest + themselves. So I lay on the sofa with note-book and pencil, and + transferred the adventure to our big room in the hotel at + Heilsbronn, and got it on paper a good deal to my satisfaction. + +He wrote with frequency to Howells, and sent him something for the +magazine now and then: the "Gambetta Duel" burlesque, which would make a +chapter in the book later, and the story of "The Great Revolution in +Pitcairn."--[Included in The Stolen White Elephant volume. The +"Pitcairn" and "Elephant" tales were originally chapters in 'A Tramp +Abroad'; also the unpleasant "Coffin-box" yarn, which Howells rejected +for the Atlantic and generally condemned, though for a time it remained a +favorite with its author.] + + +Howells's novel, 'The Lady of the Aroostook', was then running through +the 'Atlantic', and in one of his letters Clemens expresses the general +deep satisfaction of his household in that tale: + +If your literature has not struck perfection now we are not able to see +what is lacking. It is all such truth--truth to the life; everywhere +your pen falls it leaves a photograph . . . . Possibly you will not +be a fully accepted classic until you have been dead one hundred years-- +it is the fate of the Shakespeares of all genuine professions--but then +your books will be as common as Bibles, I believe. In that day I shall +be in the encyclopedias too, thus: "Mark Twain, history and occupation +unknown; but he was personally acquainted with Howells." + +Though in humorous form, this was a sincere tribute. Clemens always +regarded with awe William Dean Howells's ability to dissect and +photograph with such delicacy the minutiae of human nature; just as +Howells always stood in awe of Mark Twain's ability to light, with a +single flashing sentence, the whole human horizon. + + + + +CXXI + +PARIS, ENGLAND, AND HOMEWARD BOUND + +They decided to spend the spring months in Paris, so they gave up their +pleasant quarters with Fraulein Dahlweiner, and journeyed across Europe, +arriving at the French capital February 28, 1879. Here they met another +discouraging prospect, for the weather was cold and damp, the cabmen +seemed brutally ill-mannered, their first hotel was chilly, dingy, +uninviting. Clemens, in his note-book, set down his impressions of their +rooms. A paragraph will serve: + + Ten squatty, ugly arm-chairs, upholstered in the ugliest and + coarsest conceivable scarlet plush; two hideous sofas of the same-- + uncounted armless chairs ditto. Five ornamental chairs, seats + covered with a coarse rag, embroidered in flat expanse with a + confusion of leaves such as no tree ever bore, six or seven a dirty + white and the rest a faded red. How those hideous chairs do swear + at the hideous sofa near them! This is the very hatefulest room I + have seen in Europe. + + Oh, how cold and raw and unwarmable it is! + +It was better than that when the sun came out, and they found happier +quarters presently at the Hotel Normandy, rue de l'Echelle. + +But, alas, the sun did not come out often enough. It was one of those +French springs and summers when it rains nearly every day, and is +distressingly foggy and chill between times. Clemens received a bad +impression of France and the French during that Parisian-sojourn, from +which he never entirely recovered. In his note-book he wrote: "France +has neither winter, nor summer, nor morals. Apart from these drawbacks +it is a fine country." + +The weather may not have been entirely accountable for his prejudice, but +from whatever cause Mark Twain, to the day of his death, had no great +love for the French as a nation. Conversely, the French as a nation did +not care greatly for Mark Twain. There were many individual Frenchmen +that Mark Twain admired, as there were many Frenchmen who admired the +work and personality of Mark Twain; but on neither side was there the +warm, fond, general affection which elsewhere throughout Europe he +invited and returned. + +His book was not yet finished. In Paris he worked on it daily, but +without enthusiasm. The city was too noisy, the weather too dismal. +His note-book says: + +May 7th. I wish this terrible winter would come to an end. Have had +rain almost without intermission for two months and one week. + +May 28th. This is one of the coldest days of this most damnable and +interminable winter. + +It was not all gloom and discomfort. There was congenial company in +Paris, and dinner-parties, and a world of callers. Aldrich the +scintillating--[ Of Aldrich Clemens used to say: "When Aldrich speaks it +seems to me he is the bright face of the moon, and I feel like the other +side." Aldrich, unlike Clemens, was not given to swearing. The Parisian +note-book has this memorandum: "Aldrich gives his seat in the horse-car +to a crutched cripple, and discovers that what he took for a crutch is +only a length of walnut beading and the man not lame; whereupon Aldrich +uses the only profanity that ever escaped his lips: 'Damn a dam'd man who +would carry a dam'd piece of beading under his dam'd arm!'"]--was there, +also Gedney Bunce, of Hartford, Frank Millet and his wife, Hjalinar +Hjorth Boyesen and his wife, and a Mr. and Mrs. Chamberlain, artist +people whom the Clemenses had met pleasantly in Italy. Turgenieff, as in +London, came to call; also Baron Tauchnitz, that nobly born +philanthropist of German publishers, who devoted his life, often at his +personal cost, to making the literature of other nations familiar to his +own. Tauchnitz had early published the 'Innocents', following it with +other Mark Twain volumes as they appeared, paying always, of his own will +and accord, all that he could afford to pay for this privilege; which was +not really a privilege, for the law did not require him to pay at all. +He traveled down to Paris now to see the author, and to pay his respects +to him. "A mighty nice old gentleman," Clemens found him. Richard +Whiteing was in Paris that winter, and there were always plenty of young +American painters whom it was good to know. + +They had what they called the Stomach Club, a jolly organization, whose +purpose was indicated by its name. Mark Twain occasionally attended its +sessions, and on one memorable evening, when Edwin A. Abbey was there, +speeches were made which never appeared in any printed proceedings. Mark +Twain's address that night has obtained a wide celebrity among the clubs +of the world, though no line of it, or even its title has ever found its +way into published literature. + +Clemens had a better time in Paris than the rest of his party. He could +go and come, and mingle with the sociabilities when the abnormal weather +kept the others housed in. He did a good deal of sight-seeing of his own +kind, and once went up in a captive balloon. They were all studying +French, more or less, and they read histories and other books relating to +France. Clemens renewed his old interest in Joan of Arc, and for the +first time appears to have conceived the notion of writing the story of +that lovely character. + +The Reign of Terror interested him. He reread Carlyle's Revolution, a +book which he was never long without reading, and they all read 'A Tale +of Two Cities'. When the weather permitted they visited the scenes of +that grim period. + +In his note-book he comments: + + "The Reign of Terror shows that, without distinction or rank, the + people were savages. Marquises, dukes, lawyers, blacksmiths, they + each figure in due proportion to their crafts." + +And again: + + "For 1,000 years this savage nation indulged itself in massacre; + every now and then a big massacre or a little one. The spirit is + peculiar to France--I mean in Christendom--no other state has had + it. In this France has always walked abreast, kept her end up with + her brethren, the Turks and the Burmese. Their chief traits--love + of glory and massacre." + +Yet it was his sense of fairness that made him write, as a sort of +quittance: + + "You perceive I generalize with intrepidity from single instances. + It is the tourists' custom. When I see a man jump from the Vendome + Column I say, 'They like to do that in Paris.'" + +Following this implied atonement, he records a few conclusions, drawn +doubtless from Parisian reading and observation: + + "Childish race and great." + + "I'm for cremation." + + "I disfavor capital punishment." + + "Samson was a Jew, therefore not a fool. The Jews have the best + average brain of any people in the world. The Jews are the only + race in the world who work wholly with their brains, and never with + their hands. There are no Jew beggars, no Jew tramps, no Jew + ditchers, hod-carriers, day-laborers, or followers of toilsome + mechanical trade. + + "They are peculiarly and conspicuously the world's intellectual + aristocracy." + + "Communism is idiocy. They want to divide up the property. Suppose + they did it. It requires brains to keep money as well as to make + it. In a precious little while the money would be back in the + former owner's hands and the communist would be poor again. The + division would have to be remade every three years or it would do + the communist no good." + +A curious thing happened one day in Paris. Boyesen; in great excitement, +came to the Normandy and was shown to the Clemens apartments. He was +pale and could hardly speak, for his emotion. He asked immediately if. +his wife had come to their rooms. On learning that she had not, he +declared that she was lost or had met with an accident. She had been +gone several hours, he said, and had sent no word, a thing which she had +never done before. He besought Clemens to aid him in his search for her, +to do something to help him find her. Clemens, without showing the least +emotion or special concentration of interest, said quietly: + +"I will." + +"Where will you go first," Boyesen demanded. + +Still in the same even voice Clemens said: + +"To the elevator." + +He passed out of the room, with Boyesen behind him, into the hall. The +elevator was just coming up, and as they reached it, it stopped at their +landing, and Mrs. Boyesen stepped out. She had been delayed by a +breakdown and a blockade. Clemens said afterward that he had a positive +conviction that she would be on the elevator when they reached it. It +was one of those curious psychic evidences which we find all along during +his life; or, if the skeptics prefer to call them coincidences, they are +privileged to do so. + + Paris, June 1, 1879. Still this vindictive winter continues. Had a + raw, cold rain to-day. To-night we sit around a rousing wood fire. + +They stood it for another month, and then on the 10th of July, when it +was still chilly and disagreeable, they gave it up and left for Brussels, +which he calls "a dirty, beautiful (architecturally), interesting town." + +Two days in Brussels, then to Antwerp, where they dined on the Trenton +with Admiral Roan, then to Rotterdam, Dresden, Amsterdam, and London, +arriving there the 29th of July, which was rainy and cold, in keeping +with all Europe that year. + + Had to keep a rousing big cannel-coal fire blazing in the grate all + day. A remarkable summer, truly! + +London meant a throng of dinners, as always: brilliant, notable affairs, +too far away to recall. A letter written by Mrs. Clemens at the time +preserves one charming, fresh bit of that departed bloom. + + Clara [Spaulding] went in to dinner with Mr. Henry James; she + enjoyed him very much. I had a little chat with him before dinner, + and he was exceedingly pleasant and easy to talk with. I had + expected just the reverse, thinking one would feel looked over by + him and criticized. + + Mr. Whistler, the artist, was at the dinner, but he did not attract + me. Then there was a lady, over eighty years old, a Mrs. Stuart, + who was Washington Irving's love, and she is said to have been his + only love, and because of her he went unmarried to his grave.-- + [Mrs. Clemens was misinformed. Irving's only "love" was a Miss + Hoffman.]--She was also an intimate friend of Madame Bonaparte. + You would judge Mrs. Stuart to be about fifty, and she was the life + of the drawing-room after dinner, while the ladies were alone, + before the gentlemen came up. It was lovely to see such a sweet old + age; every one was so fond of her, every one deferred to her, yet + every one was joking her, making fun of her, but she was always + equal to the occasion, giving back as bright replies as possible; + you had not the least sense that she was aged. She quoted French in + her stories with perfect ease and fluency, and had all the time such + a kindly, lovely way. When she entered the room, before dinner, Mr. + James, who was then talking with me, shook hands with her and said, + "Good evening, you wonderful lady." After she had passed . . . + he said, "She is the youngest person in London. She has the + youngest feelings and the youngest interests . . . . She is + always interested." + + It was a perfect delight to hear her and see her. + +For more than two years they had had an invitation from Reginald +Cholmondeley to pay him another visit. + +So they went for a week to Condover, where many friends were gathered, +including Millais, the painter, and his wife (who had been the wife of +Ruskin), numerous relatives, and other delightful company. It was one of +the happiest chapters of their foreign sojourn.--[Moncure D. Conway, who +was in London at the time, recalls, in his Autobiography, a visit which +he made with Mr. and Mrs. Clemens to Stratford-on-Avon. "Mrs. Clemens +was an ardent Shakespearian, and Mark Twain determined to give her a +surprise. He told her that we were going on a journey to Epworth, and +persuaded me to connive with the joke by writing to Charles Flower not to +meet us himself, but send his carriage. On arrival at the station we +directed the driver to take us straight to the church. When we entered, +and Mrs. Clemens read on Shakespeare's grave, 'Good friend, for Jesus' +sake, forbear,' she started back, exclaiming, 'where am I?' Mark +received her reproaches with an affluence of guilt, but never did lady +enjoy a visit more than that to Avonbank. Mrs. Charles Flower (nee +Martineau) took Mrs. Clemens to her heart, and contrived that every +social or other attraction of that region should surround her."] + +From the note-book: + + Sunday, August 17,'79. Raw and cold, and a drenching rain. Went to + hear Mr. Spurgeon. House three-quarters full-say three thousand + people. First hour, lacking one minute, taken up with two prayers, + two ugly hymns, and Scripture-reading. Sermon three-quarters of an + hour long. A fluent talker, good, sonorous voice. Topic treated in + the unpleasant, old fashion: Man a mighty bad child, God working at + him in forty ways and having a world of trouble with him. + + A wooden-faced congregation; just the sort to see no incongruity in + the majesty of Heaven stooping to plead and sentimentalize over + such, and see in their salvation an important matter. + + Tuesday, August 19th. Went up Windermere Lake in the steamer. + Talked with the great Darwin. + +They had planned to visit Dr. Brown in Scotland. Mrs. Clemens, in +particular, longed to go, for his health had not been of the best, and +she felt that they would never have a chance to see him again. Clemens +in after years blamed himself harshly for not making the trip, declaring +that their whole reason for not going was an irritable reluctance on his +part to take the troublesome journey and a perversity of spirit for which +there was no real excuse. There is documentary evidence against this +harsh conclusion. They were, in fact, delayed here and there by +misconnections and the continued terrific weather, barely reaching +Liverpool in time for their sailing date, August 23d. Unquestionably he +was weary of railway travel, far he always detested it. Time would +magnify his remembered reluctance, until, in the end, he would load his +conscience with the entire burden of blame. + +Their ship was the Gallia, and one night, when they were nearing the +opposite side of the Atlantic, Mark Twain, standing on deck, saw for the +third time in his experience a magnificent lunar rainbow: a complete +arch, the colors part of the time very brilliant, but little different +from a day rainbow. It is not given to many persons in this world to see +even one of these phenomena. After each previous vision there had come +to him a period of good-fortune. Perhaps this also boded well for him. + + + + +CXXII + +AN INTERLUDE + +The Gallia reached New York September 3, 1879. A report of his arrival, +in the New York Sun, stated that Mark Twain had changed in his absence; +that only his drawl seemed natural. + + His hat, as he stood on the deck of the incoming Cunarder, Gallia, + was of the pattern that English officers wear in India, and his suit + of clothes was such as a merchant might wear in his store. He + looked older than when he went to Germany, and his hair has turned + quite gray. + +It was a late hour when they were finally up to the dock, and Clemens, +anxious to get through the Custom House, urged the inspector to accept +his carefully prepared list of dutiable articles, without opening the +baggage. But the official was dubious. Clemens argued eloquently, and a +higher authority was consulted. Again Clemens stated his case and +presented his arguments. A still higher chief of inspection was +summoned, evidently from his bed. He listened sleepily to the preamble, +then suddenly said: "Oh, chalk his baggage, of course! Don't you know +it's Mark Twain and that he'll talk all night?" + +They went directly to the farm, for whose high sunlit loveliness they had +been longing through all their days of absence. Mrs. Clemens, in her +letters, had never failed to dwell on her hunger for that fair hilltop. +From his accustomed study-table Clemens wrote to Twichell: + +"You have run about a good deal, Joe, but you have never seen any place +that was so divine as the farm. Why don't you come here and take a +foretaste of Heaven?" Clemens declared he would roam no more forever, +and settled down to the happy farm routine. He took up his work, which +had not gone well in Paris, and found his interest in it renewed. In the +letter to Twichell he said: + + I am revising my MS. I did not expect to like it, but I do. I have + been knocking out early chapters for more than a year now, not + because they had not merit, but merely because they hindered the + flow of the narrative; it was a dredging process. Day before + yesterday my shovel fetched up three more chapters and laid them, + reeking, on the festering shore-pile of their predecessors, and now + I think the yarn swims right along, without hitch or halt. I + believe it will be a readable book of travels. I cannot see that it + lacks anything but information. + +Mrs. Clemens was no less weary of travel than her husband. Yet she had +enjoyed their roaming, and her gain from it had been greater than his. +Her knowledge of art and literature, and of the personal geography of +nations, had vastly increased; her philosophy of life had grown beyond +all counting. + +She had lost something, too; she had outstripped her traditions. One +day, when she and her sister had walked across the fields, and had +stopped to rest in a little grove by a pretty pond, she confessed, +timidly enough and not without sorrow, how she had drifted away from her +orthodox views. She had ceased to believe, she said, in the orthodox +Bible God, who exercised a personal supervision over every human soul. +The hordes of people she had seen in many lands, the philosophies she had +listened to from her husband and those wise ones about him, the life away +from the restricted round of home, all had contributed to this change. +Her God had become a larger God; the greater mind which exerts its care +of the individual through immutable laws of time and change and +environment--the Supreme Good which comprehends the individual flower, +dumb creature, or human being only as a unit in the larger scheme of life +and love. Her sister was not shocked or grieved; she too had grown with +the years, and though perhaps less positively directed, had by a path of +her own reached a wider prospect of conclusions. It was a sweet day +there in the little grove by the water, and would linger in the memory of +both so long as life lasted. Certainly it was the larger faith; though +the moment must always come when the narrower, nearer, more humanly +protecting arm of orthodoxy lends closer comfort. Long afterward, in the +years that followed the sorrow of heavy bereavement, Clemens once said to +his wife, "Livy, if it comforts you to lean on the Christian faith do +so," and she answered," I can't, Youth. I haven't any." + +And the thought that he had destroyed her illusion, without affording a +compensating solace, was one that would come back to him, now and then, +all his days. + + + + +CXXIII + +THE GRANT SPEECH OF 1879 + +If the lunar rainbow had any fortuitous significance, perhaps we may find +it in the two speeches which Mark Twain made in November and December of +that year. The first of these was delivered at Chicago, on the occasion +of the reception of General Grant by the Army of the Tennessee, on the +evening of November 73, 1879. Grant had just returned from his splendid +tour of the world. His progress from San Francisco eastward had been +such an ovation as is only accorded to sovereignty. Clemens received an +invitation to the reunion, but, dreading the long railway journey, was at +first moved to decline. He prepared a letter in which he made "business" +his excuse, and expressed his regret that he would not be present to see +and hear the veterans of the Army of the Tennessee at the moment when +their old commander entered the room and rose in his place to speak. + +"Besides," he said, "I wanted to see the General again anyway and renew +the acquaintance. He would remember me, because I was the person who did +not ask him for an office." + +He did not send the letter. Reconsidering, it seemed to him that there +was something strikingly picturesque in the idea of a Confederate soldier +who had been chased for a fortnight in the rain through Ralls and Monroe +counties, Missouri, now being invited to come and give welcome home to +his old imaginary pursuer. It was in the nature of an imperative +command, which he could not refuse to obey. + +He accepted and agreed to speak. They had asked him to respond to the +toast of "The Ladies," but for him the subject was worn out. He had +already responded to that toast at least twice. He telegraphed that +there was one class of the community that had always been overlooked upon +such occasions, and that if they would allow him to do so he would take +that class for a toast: the babies. Necessarily they agreed, and he +prepared himself accordingly. + +He arrived in Chicago in time for the prodigious procession of welcome. +Grant was to witness the march from a grand reviewing stand, which had +been built out from the second story of the Palmer House. Clemens had +not seen the General since the "embarrassing" introduction in Washington, +twelve years before. Their meeting was characteristic enough. Carter +Harrison, Mayor of Chicago, arriving with Grant, stepped over to Clemens, +and asked him if he wouldn't like to be presented. Grant also came +forward, and a moment later Harrison was saying: + +"General, let me present Mr. Clemens, a man almost as great as yourself." +They shook hands; there was a pause of a moment, then Grant said, looking +at him gravely: + +"Mr. Clemens, I am not embarrassed, are you?" + +So he remembered that first, long-ago meeting. It was a conspicuous +performance. The crowd could not hear the words, but they saw the +greeting and the laugh, and cheered both men. + +Following the procession, there were certain imposing ceremonies of +welcome at Haverly's Theater where long, laudatory eloquence was poured +out upon the returning hero, who sat unmoved while the storm of music and +cheers and oratory swept about him. Clemens, writing of it that evening +to Mrs. Clemens, said: + + I never sat elbow to elbow with so many historic names before. + Grant, Sherman, Sheridan, Schofield, Pope, Logan, and so on. + + What an iron man Grant is! He sat facing the house, with his right + leg crossed over his left, his right boot sole tilted up at an + angle, and his left hand and arm reposing on the arm of his chair. + You note that position? Well, when glowing references were made to + other grandees on the stage, those grandees always showed a trifle + of nervous consciousness, and as these references came frequently + the nervous changes of position and attitude were also frequent. + But Grant! He was under a tremendous and ceaseless bombardment of + praise and congratulation; but as true as I'm sitting here he never + moved a muscle of his body for a single instant during thirty + minutes! You could have played him on a stranger for an effigy. + Perhaps he never would have moved, but at last a speaker made such a + particularly ripping and blood-stirring remark about him that the + audience rose and roared and yelled and stamped and clapped an + entire minute--Grant sitting as serene as ever-when General Sherman + stepped up to him, laid his hand affectionately on his shoulder, + bent respectfully down, and whispered in his ear. Then Grant got up + and bowed, and the storm of applause swelled into a hurricane. + +But it was the next evening that the celebration rose to a climax. This +was at the grand banquet at the Palmer House, where six hundred guests +sat down to dinner and Grant himself spoke, and Logan and Hurlbut, and +Vilas and Woodford and Pope, fifteen in all, including Robert G. +Ingersoll and Mark Twain. Chicago has never known a greater event than +that dinner, for there has never been a time since when those great +soldiers and citizens could have been gathered there. + +To Howells Clemens wrote: + + Imagine what it was like to see a bullet-shredded old battle-flag + reverently unfolded to the gaze of a thousand middle-aged soldiers, + most of whom hadn't seen it since they saw it advancing over + victorious fields when they were in their prime. And imagine what + it was like when Grant, their first commander, stepped into view + while they were still going mad over the flag, and then right in the + midst of it all somebody struck up "When we were marching through + Georgia." Well, you should have heard the thousand voices lift that + chorus and seen the tears stream down. If I live a hundred years I + sha'n't ever forget these things, nor be able to talk about them. I + sha'n't ever forget that I saw Phil Sheridan, with martial cloak and + plumed chapeau, riding his big black horse in the midst of his own + cannon; by all odds the superbest figure of a soldier. I ever + looked upon! + Grand times, my boy, grand times! + +Mark Twain declared afterward that he listened to four speeches that +night which he would remember as long as he lived. One of them was by +Emory Storrs, another by General Vilas, another by Logan, and the last +and greatest by Robert Ingersoll, whose eloquence swept the house like a +flame. The Howells letter continues: + + I doubt if America has ever seen anything quite equal to it; I am + well satisfied I shall not live to see its equal again. How pale + those speeches are in print, but how radiant, how full of color, how + blinding they were in the delivery! Bob Ingersoll's music will sing + through my memory always as the divinest that ever enchanted my + ears. And I shall always see him, as he stood that night on a + dinner-table, under the flash of lights and banners, in the midst of + seven hundred frantic shouters, the most beautiful human creature + that ever lived. "They fought, that a mother might own her child." + The words look like any other print, but, Lord bless me! he + borrowed the very accent of the angel of mercy to say them in, and + you should have seen that vast house rise to its feet; and you + should have heard the hurricane that followed. That's the only + test! People may shout, clap their hands, stamp, wave their + napkins, but none but the master can make them get up on their feet. + +Clemens's own speech came last. He had been placed at the end to hold +the house. He was preceded by a dull speaker, and his heart sank, for it +was two o'clock and the diners were weary and sleepy, and the dreary +speech had made them unresponsive. + +They gave him a round of applause when he stepped up upon the table in +front of him--a tribute to his name. Then he began the opening words of +that memorable, delightful fancy. + +"We haven't all had the good-fortune to be ladies; we haven't all been +generals, or poets, or statesmen; but when the toast works down to the +babies--we stand on common ground--" + +The tired audience had listened in respectful silence through the first +half of the sentence. He made one of his effective pauses on the word +"babies," and when he added, in that slow, rich measure of his, "we stand +on common ground," they let go a storm of applause. There was no +weariness and inattention after that. At the end of each sentence, he +had to stop to let the tornado roar itself out and sweep by. When he +reached the beginning of the final paragraph, "Among the three or four +million cradles now rocking in the land are some which this nation would +preserve for ages as sacred things if we could know which ones they are," +the vast audience waited breathless for his conclusion. Step by step he +led toward some unseen climax--some surprise, of course, for that would +be his way. Then steadily, and almost without emphasis, he delivered the +opening of his final sentence: + +"And now in his cradle, somewhere under the flag, the future illustrious +commander-in-chief of the American armies is so little burdened with his +approaching grandeurs and responsibilities as to be giving his whole +strategic mind, at this moment, to trying to find out some way to get his +own big toe into his mouth, an achievement which (meaning no disrespect) +the illustrious guest of this evening also turned his attention to some +fifty-six years ago." + +He paused, and the vast crowd had a chill of fear. After all, he seemed +likely to overdo it to spoil everything with a cheap joke at the end. +No one ever knew better than Mark Twain the value of a pause. He waited +now long enough to let the silence become absolute, until the tension was +painful, then wheeling to Grant himself he said, with all the dramatic +power of which he was master: + +"And if the child is but the father of the man, there are mighty few who +will doubt that he succeeded!" + +The house came down with a crash. The linking of their hero's great +military triumphs with that earliest of all conquests seemed to them so +grand a figure that they went mad with the joy of it. Even Grant's iron +serenity broke; he rocked and laughed while the tears streamed down his +cheeks. + +They swept around the speaker with their congratulations, in their +efforts to seize his hand. He was borne up and down the great dining- +hall. Grant himself pressed up to make acknowledgments. + +"It tore me all to pieces," he said; and Sherman exclaimed, "Lord bless +you, my boy! I don't know how you do it!" + +The little speech has been in "cold type" so many years since then that +the reader of it to-day may find it hard to understand the flame of +response it kindled so long ago. But that was another day--and another +nation--and Mark Twain, like Robert Ingersoll, knew always his period and +his people. + + + + +CXXIV + +ANOTHER "ATLANTIC" SPEECH + +The December good-fortune was an opportunity Clemens had to redeem +himself with the Atlantic contingent, at a breakfast given to Dr. Holmes. + +Howells had written concerning it as early as October, and the first +impulse had been to decline. It would be something of an ordeal; for +though two years had passed since the fatal Whittier dinner, Clemens had +not been in that company since, and the lapse of time did not signify. +Both Howells and Warner urged him to accept, and he agreed to do so on +condition that he be allowed to speak. + +If anybody talks there I shall claim the right to say a word myself, and +be heard among the very earliest, else it would be confoundedly awkward +for me--and for the rest, too. But you may read what I say beforehand, +and strike out whatever you choose. + +Howells advised against any sort of explanation. Clemens accepted this +as wise counsel, and prepared an address relevant only to the guest of +honor. + +It was a noble gathering. Most of the guests of the Whittier dinner were +present, and this time there were ladies. Emerson, Longfellow, and +Whittier were there, Harriet Beecher Stowe and Julia Ward Howe; also the +knightly Colonel Waring, and Stedman, and Parkman, and grand old John +Bigelow, old even then.--[He died in 1911 in his 94th year.] + +Howells was conservative in his introduction this time. It was better +taste to be so. He said simply: + +"We will now listen to a few words of truth and soberness from Mark +Twain." + +Clemens is said to have risen diffidently, but that was his natural +manner. It probably did not indicate anything of the inner tumult he +really felt. + +Outwardly he was calm enough, and what he said was delicate and +beautiful, the kind of thing that he could say so well. It seems fitting +that it should be included here, the more so that it tells a story not +elsewhere recorded. This is the speech in full: + + MR. CHAIRMAN, LADIES, AND GENTLEMEN,--I would have traveled a much + greater distance than I have come to witness the paying of honors to + Dr. Holmes, for my feeling toward him has always been one of + peculiar warmth. When one receives a letter from a great man for + the first time in his life it is a large event to him, as all of you + know by your own experience. You never can receive letters enough + from famous men afterward to obliterate that one or dim the memory + of the pleasant surprise it was and the gratification it gave you. + Lapse of time cannot make it commonplace or cheap. Well, the first + great man who ever wrote me a letter was our guest, Oliver Wendell + Holmes. He was also the first great literary man I ever stole + anything from, and that is how I came to write to him and he to me. + When my first book was new a friend of mine said, "The dedication is + very neat." Yes, I said, I thought it was. My friend said, + "I always admired it, even before I saw it in The Innocents Abroad." + I naturally said, "What do you mean? Where did you ever see it + before?" "Well, I saw it first, some years ago, as Dr. Holmes's + dedication to his Songs in Many Keys." Of course my first impulse + was to prepare this man's remains for burial, but upon reflection I + said I would reprieve him for a moment or two, and give him a chance + to prove his assertion if he could. We stepped into a book-store. + and he did prove it. I had stolen that dedication almost word for + word. I could not imagine how this curious thing happened; for I + knew one thing, for a dead certainty--that a certain amount of pride + always goes along with a teaspoonful of brains, and that this pride + protects a man from deliberately stealing other people's ideas. + That is what a teaspoonful of brains will do for a man, and admirers + had often told me I had nearly a basketful, though they were rather + reserved as to the size of the basket. However, I thought the thing + out and solved the mystery. Some years before I had been laid up a + couple of weeks in the Sandwich Islands, and had read and reread Dr. + Holmes's poems till my mental reservoir was filled with them to the + brim. The dedication lay on top and handy, so by and by I + unconsciously took it. Well, of course, I wrote to Dr. Holmes and + told him I hadn't meant to steal, and he wrote back and said, in the + kindest way, that it was all right, and no harm done, and added that + he believed we all unconsciously worked over ideas gathered in + reading and hearing, imagining they were original with ourselves. + He stated a truth and did it in such a pleasant way, and salved over + my sore spot so gently and so healingly, that I was rather glad I + had committed the crime, for the sake of the letter. I afterward + called on him and told him to make perfectly free with any ideas of + mine that struck him as good protoplasm for poetry. He could see by + that time that there wasn't anything mean about me; so we got along, + right from the start.--[Holmes in his letter had said: "I rather + think The Innocents Abroad will have many more readers than Songs in + Many Keys. . . You will be stolen from a great deal oftener than + you will borrow from other people."] + + I have met Dr. Holmes many times since; and lately he said--However, + I am wandering wildly away from the one thing which I got on my feet + to do; that is, to make my compliments to you, my fellow-teachers of + the great public, and likewise to say I am right glad to see that + Dr. Holmes is still in his prime and full of generous life, and as + age is not determined by years but by trouble, and by infirmities of + mind and body, I hope it may be a very long time yet before any can + truthfully say, "He is growing old." + +Whatever Mark Twain may have lost on that former occasion, came back to +him multiplied when he had finished this happy tribute. So the year for +him closed prosperously. The rainbow of promise was justified. + + + + +CXXV + +THE QUIETER THINGS OF HOME + +Upset and disturbed as Mark Twain often was, he seldom permitted his +distractions to interfere with the program of his fireside. His days and +his nights might be fevered, but the evenings belonged to another world. +The long European wandering left him more than ever enamoured of his +home; to him it had never been so sweet before, so beautiful, so full of +peace. Company came: distinguished guests and the old neighborhood +circles. Dinner-parties were more frequent than ever, and they were +likely to be brilliant affairs. The best minds, the brightest wits, +gathered around Mark Twain's table. Booth, Barrett, Irving, Sheridan, +Sherman, Howells, Aldrich: they all assembled, and many more. There was +always some one on the way to Boston or New York who addressed himself +for the day or the night, or for a brief call, to the Mark Twain +fireside. + +Certain visitors from foreign lands were surprised at his environment, +possibly expecting to find him among less substantial, more bohemian +surroundings. Henry Drummond, the author of Natural Law in the Spiritual +World, in a letter of this time, said: + + I had a delightful day at Hartford last Wednesday . . . . Called + on Mark Twain, Mrs. Harriet Beecher Stowe, and the widow of Horace + Bushnell. I was wishing A---- had been at the Mark Twain interview. + He is funnier than any of his books, and to my surprise a most + respected citizen, devoted to things esthetic, and the friend of the + poor and struggling.--[Life of Henry Drummond, by George Adam + Smith.] + +The quieter evenings were no less delightful. Clemens did not often go +out. He loved his own home best. The children were old enough now to +take part in a form of entertainment that gave him and them especial +pleasure-acting charades. These he invented for them, and costumed the +little performers, and joined in the acting as enthusiastically and as +unrestrainedly as if he were back in that frolicsome boyhood on John +Quarles's farm. The Warner and Twichell children were often there and +took part in the gay amusements. The children of that neighborhood +played their impromptu parts well and naturally. They were in a dramatic +atmosphere, and had been from infancy. There was never any preparation +for the charades. A word was selected and the parts of it were whispered +to the little actors. Then they withdrew to the hall, where all sorts of +costumes had been laid out for the evening, dressed their parts, and each +detachment marched into the library, performed its syllable and retired, +leaving the audience, mainly composed of parents, to guess the answer. +Often they invented their own words, did their own costuming, and +conducted the entire performance independent of grown-up assistance or +interference. Now and then, even at this early period, they conceived +and produced little plays, and of course their father could not resist +joining in these. At other times, evenings, after dinner, he would sit +at the piano and recall the old darky songs-spirituals and jubilee +choruses-singing them with fine spirit, if not with perfect technic, the +children joining in these moving melodies. + +He loved to read aloud to them. It was his habit to read his manuscript +to Mrs. Clemens, and, now that the children were older, he was likely to +include them in his critical audience. + +It would seem to have been the winter after their return from Europe that +this custom was inaugurated, for 'The Prince and the Pauper' manuscript +was the first one so read, and it was just then he was resuming work on +this tale. Each afternoon or evening, when he had finished his chapter, +he assembled his little audience and read them the result. The children +were old enough to delight in that half real, half fairy tale of the +wandering prince and the royal pauper: and the charm and simplicity of +the story are measurably due to those two small listeners, to whom it was +adapted in that early day of its creation. + +Clemens found the Prince a blessed relief from 'A Tramp Abroad', which +had become a veritable nightmare. He had thought it finished when he +left the farm, but discovered that he must add several hundred pages to +complete its bulk. It seemed to him that he had been given a life- +sentence. He wrote six hundred pages and tore up all but two hundred and +eighty-eight. He was about to destroy these and begin again, when Mrs. +Clemens's health became poor and he was advised to take her to Elmira, +though it was then midwinter. To Howells he wrote: + + I said, "if there is one death that is painfuler than another, may I + get it if I don't do that thing." + + So I took the 288 pages to Bliss and told him that was the very last + line I should ever write on this book (a book which required 600 + pages of MS., and I have written nearly four thousand, first and + last). + + I am as soary (and flighty) as a rocket to-day, with the unutterable + joy of getting that Old Man of the Sea off my back, where he has + been roosting more than a year and a half. + +They remained a month at Elmira, and on their return Clemens renewed work +on 'The Prince and the Pauper'. He reported to Howells that if he never +sold a copy his jubilant delight in writing it would suffer no +diminution. A week later his enthusiasm had still further increased: + + I take so much pleasure in my story that I am loath to hurry, not + wanting to get it done. Did I ever tell you the plot of it? It + begins at 9 A.M., January 27, 1547. + +He follows with a detailed synopsis of his plot, which in this instance +he had worked out with unusual completeness--a fact which largely +accounts for the unity of the tale. Then he adds: + + My idea is to afford a realizing sense of the exceeding severity of + the laws of that day by inflicting some of their penalties upon the + king himself, and allowing him a chance to see the rest of them + applied to others; all of which is to account for certain mildnesses + which distinguished Edward VI.'s reign from those that precede it + and follow it. + + Imagine this fact: I have even fascinated Mrs. Clemens with this + yarn for youth. My stuff generally gets considerable damning with + faint praise out of her, but this time it is all the other way. She + is become the horse-leech's daughter, and my mill doesn't grind fast + enough to suit her. This is no mean triumph, my dear sir. + +He forgot, perhaps, to mention his smaller auditors, but we may believe +they were no less eager in their demands for the tale's continuance. + + + + +CXXVI + +"A TRAMP ABROAD" + +'A Tramp Abroad' came from the presses on the 13th of March, 1880. It +had been widely heralded, and there was an advance sale of twenty-five +thousand copies. It was of the same general size and outward character +as the Innocents, numerously illustrated, and was regarded by its +publishers as a satisfactory book. + +It bore no very striking resemblance to the Innocents on close +examination. Its pictures-drawn, for the most part, by a young art +student named Brown, whom Clemens had met in Paris--were extraordinarily +bad, while the crude engraving process by which they had been reproduced; +tended to bring them still further into disrepute. A few drawings by +True Williams were better, and those drawn by Clemens himself had a value +of their own. The book would have profited had there been more of what +the author calls his "works of art." + +Mark Twain himself had dubious anticipations as to the book's reception. + +But Howells wrote: + + Well, you are a blessing. You ought to believe in God's goodness, + since he has bestowed upon the world such a delightful genius as + yours to lighten its troubles. + +Clemens replied: + + Your praises have been the greatest uplift I ever had. When a body + is not even remotely expecting such things, how the surprise takes + the breath away! We had been interpreting your stillness to + melancholy and depression, caused by that book. This is honest. + Why, everything looks brighter now. A check for untold cash could + not have made our hearts sing as your letter has done. + +A letter from Tauchnitz, proposing to issue an illustrated edition in +Germany, besides putting it into his regular series, was an added +satisfaction. To be in a Tauchnitz series was of itself a recognition of +the book's merit. + +To Twichell, Clemens presented a special copy of the Tramp with a +personal inscription, which must not be omitted here: + + MY DEAR "HARRIS"--NO, I MEAN MY DEAR JOE,--Just imagine it for a + moment: I was collecting material in Europe during fourteen months + for a book, and now that the thing is printed I find that you, who + were with me only a month and a half of the fourteen, are in actual + presence (not imaginary) in 440 of the 531 pages the book contains! + Hang it, if you had stayed at home it would have taken me fourteen + years to get the material. You have saved me an intolerable whole + world of hated labor, and I'll not forget it, my boy. + + You'll find reminders of things, all along, that happened to us, and + of others that didn't happen; but you'll remember the spot where + they were invented. You will see how the imaginary perilous trip up + the Riffelberg is preposterously expanded. That horse-student is on + page 192. The "Fremersberg" is neighboring. The Black Forest novel + is on page 211. I remember when and where we projected that: in the + leafy glades with the mountain sublimities dozing in the blue haze + beyond the gorge of Allerheiligen. There's the "new member," page + 213; the dentist yarn, 223; the true Chamois, 242; at page 248 is a + pretty long yarn, spun from a mighty brief text meeting, for a + moment, that pretty girl who knew me and whom I had forgotten; at + 281 is "Harris," and should have been so entitled, but Bliss has + made a mistake and turned you into some other character; 305 brings + back the whole Rigi tramp to me at a glance; at 185 and 186 are + specimens of my art; and the frontispiece is the combination which I + made by pasting one familiar picture over the lower half of an + equally familiar one. This fine work being worthy of Titian, I have + shed the credit of it upon him. Well, you'll find more reminders of + things scattered through here than are printed, or could have been + printed, in many books. + + All the "legends of the Neckar," which I invented for that unstoried + region, are here; one is in the Appendix. The steel portrait of me + is just about perfect. + + We had a mighty good. time, Joe, and the six weeks I would dearly + like to repeat any time; but the rest of the fourteen months-never. + With love, + Yours, MARK. + + Hartford, March 16, 1880. + + +Possibly Twichell had vague doubts concerning a book of which he was so +large a part, and its favorable reception by the critics and the public +generally was a great comfort. When the Howells letter was read to him +he is reported as having sat with his hands on his knees, his head bent +forward--a favorite attitude--repeating at intervals: + +"Howells said that, did he? Old Howells said that!" + +There have been many and varying opinions since then as to the literary +merits of 'A Tramp Abroad'. Human tastes differ, and a "mixed" book of +this kind invites as many opinions as it has chapters. The word "uneven" +pretty safely describes any book of size, but it has a special +application to this one. Written under great stress and uncertainty of +mind, it could hardly be uniform. It presents Mark Twain at his best, +and at his worst. Almost any American writer was better than Mark Twain +at his worst: Mark Twain at his best was unapproachable. + +It is inevitable that 'A Tramp Abroad' and 'The Innocents Abroad' should +be compared, though with hardly the warrant of similarity. The books are +as different as was their author at the periods when they were written. +'A Tramp Abroad' is the work of a man who was traveling and observing for +the purpose of writing a book, and for no other reason. The Innocents +Abroad was written by a man who was reveling in every scene and +experience, every new phase and prospect; whose soul was alive to every +historic association, and to every humor that a gay party of young sight- +seers could find along the way. The note-books of that trip fairly glow +with the inspiration of it; those of the later wanderings are mainly +filled with brief, terse records, interspersed with satire and +denunciation. In the 'Innocents' the writer is the enthusiast with a +sense of humor. In the 'Tramp' he has still the sense of humor, but he +has become a cynic; restrained, but a cynic none the less. In the +'Innocents' he laughs at delusions and fallacies--and enjoys them. In +the 'Tramp' he laughs at human foibles and affectations--and wants to +smash them. Very often he does not laugh heartily and sincerely at all, +but finds his humor in extravagant burlesque. In later life his gentler +laughter, his old, untroubled enjoyment of human weakness, would return, +but just now he was in that middle period, when the "damned human race" +amused him indeed, though less tenderly. (It seems proper to explain +that in applying this term to mankind he did not mean that the race was +foredoomed, but rather that it ought to be.) + +Reading the 'Innocents', the conviction grows that, with all its faults, +it is literature from beginning to end. Reading the 'Tramp', the +suspicion arises that, regardless of technical improvement, its +percentage of literature is not large. Yet, as noted in an earlier +volume, so eminent a critic as Brander Matthews has pronounced in its +favor, and he undoubtedly had a numerous following; Howells expressed. +his delight in the book at the time of its issue, though one wonders how +far the personal element entered into his enjoyment, and what would be +his final decision if he read the two books side by side to-day. He +reviewed 'A Tramp Abroad' adequately and finely in the Atlantic, and +justly; for on the whole it is a vastly entertaining book, and he did not +overpraise it. + +'A Tramp Abroad' had an "Introduction" in the manuscript, a pleasant word +to the reader but not a necessary one, and eventually it was omitted. +Fortunately the appendix remained. Beyond question it contains some of +the very best things in the book. The descriptions of the German Portier +and the German newspaper are happy enough, and the essay on the awful +German language is one of Mark Twain's supreme bits of humor. It is Mark +Twain at his best; Mark Twain in a field where he had no rival, the field +of good-natured, sincere fun-making-ridicule of the manifest absurdities +of some national custom or institution which the nation itself could +enjoy, while the individual suffered no wound. The present Emperor of +Germany is said to find comfort in this essay on his national speech when +all other amusements fail. It is delicious beyond words to express; it +is unique. + +In the body of the book there are also many delights. The description of +the ant might rank next to the German language almost in its humor, and +the meeting with the unrecognized girl at Lucerne has a lively charm. + +Of the serious matter, some of the word-pictures are flawless in their +beauty; this, for instance, suggested by the view of the Jungfrau from +Interlaken: + + There was something subduing in the influence of that silent and + solemn and awful presence; one seemed to meet the immutable, the + indestructible, the eternal, face to face, and to feel the trivial + and fleeting nature of his own existence the more sharply by the + contrast. One had the sense of being under the brooding + contemplation of a spirit, not an inert mass of rocks and ice--a + spirit which had looked down, through the slow drift of ages, upon a + million vanished races of men and judged them; and would judge a + million more--and still be there, watching unchanged and + unchangeable, after all life should be gone and the earth have + become a vacant desolation + + While I was feeling these things, I was groping, without knowing it, + toward an understanding of what the spell is which people find in + the Alps, and in no other mountains; that strange, deep, nameless + influence which, once felt, cannot be forgotten; once felt, leaves + always behind it a restless longing to feel it again--a longing + which is like homesickness; a grieving, haunting yearning, which + will plead, implore, and persecute till it has its will. I met + dozens of people, imaginative and unimaginative, cultivated and + uncultivated, who had come from far countries and roamed through the + Swiss Alps year after year--they could not explain why. They had + come first, they said, out of idle curiosity, because everybody + talked about it; they had come since because they could not help it, + and they should keep on coming, while they lived, for the same + reason; they had tried to break their chains and stay away, but it + was futile; now they had no desire to break them. Others came + nearer formulating what they felt; they said they could find perfect + rest and peace nowhere else when they were troubled: all frets and + worries and chafings sank to sleep in the presence of the benignant + serenity of the Alps; the Great Spirit of the mountain breathed his + own peace upon their hurt minds and sore hearts, and healed them; + they could not think base thoughts or do mean and sordid things + here, before the visible throne of God. + +Indeed, all the serious matter in the book is good. The reader's chief +regret is likely to be that there is not more of it. The main difficulty +with the humor is that it seems overdone. It is likely to be carried too +far, and continued too long. The ascent of Riffelberg is an example. +Though spotted with delights it seems, to one reader at least, less +admirable than other of the book's important features, striking, as it +does, more emphatically the chief note of the book's humor--that is to +say, exaggeration. + +Without doubt there must be many--very many--who agree in finding a +fuller enjoyment in 'A Tramp Abroad' than in the 'Innocents'; only, the +burden of the world's opinion lies the other way. The world has a +weakness for its illusions: the splendor that falls on castle walls, the +glory of the hills at evening, the pathos of the days that are no more. +It answers to tenderness, even on the page of humor, and to genuine +enthusiasm, sharply sensing the lack of these things; instinctively +resenting, even when most amused by it, extravagance and burlesque. The +Innocents Abroad is more soul-satisfying than its successor, more poetic; +more sentimental, if you will. The Tramp contains better English usage, +without doubt, but it is less full of happiness and bloom and the halo of +romance. The heart of the world has felt this, and has demanded the book +in fewer numbers.--[The sales of the Innocents during the earlier years +more than doubled those of the Tramp during a similar period. The later +ratio of popularity is more nearly three to one. It has been repeatedly +stated that in England the Tramp has the greater popularity, an assertion +not sustained by the publisher's accountings.] + + + + +CXXVII + +LETTERS, TALES, AND PLANS + +The reader has not failed to remark the great number of letters which +Samuel Clemens wrote to his friend William Dean Howells; yet +comparatively few can even be mentioned. He was always writing to +Howells, on every subject under the sun; whatever came into his mind-- +business, literature, personal affairs--he must write about it to +Howells. Once, when nothing better occurred, he sent him a series of +telegrams, each a stanza from an old hymn, possibly thinking they might +carry comfort.--["Clemens had then and for many years the habit of +writing to me about what he was doing, and still more of what he was +experiencing. Nothing struck his imagination, in or out of the daily +routine, but he wished to write me of it, and he wrote with the greatest +fullness and a lavish dramatization, sometimes to the length of twenty or +forty pages:" (My Mark Twain, by W. D. Howells.)] Whatever of +picturesque happened in the household he immediately set it down for +Howells's entertainment. Some of these domestic incidents carry the +flavor of his best humor. Once he wrote: + + Last night, when I went to bed, Mrs. Clemens said, "George didn't + take the cat down to the cellar; Rosa says he has left it shut up in + the conservatory." So I went down to attend to Abner (the cat). + About three in the morning Mrs. C. woke me and said, "I do believe + I hear that cat in the drawing-room. What did you do with him?" I + answered with the confidence of a man who has managed to do the + right thing for once, and said, "I opened the conservatory doors, + took the library off the alarm, and spread everything open, so that + there wasn't any obstruction between him and the cellar." Language + wasn't capable of conveying this woman's disgust. But the sense of + what she said was, "He couldn't have done any harm in the + conservatory; so you must go and make the entire house free to him + and the burglars, imagining that he will prefer the coal-bins to the + drawing-room. If you had had Mr. Howells to help you I should have + admired, but not have been astonished, because I should know that + together you would be equal to it; but how you managed to contrive + such a stately blunder all by yourself is what I cannot understand." + + So, you see, even she knows how to apprecaite our gifts.... + + I knocked off during these stirring hours, and don't intend to go to + work again till we go away for the summer, four or six weeks hence. + So I am writing to you, not because I have anything to say, but + because you don't have to answer and I need something to do this + afternoon. + + The rightful earl has---- + + Friday, 7th. + + Well, never mind about the rightful earl; he merely wanted to-borrow + money. I never knew an American earl that didn't. + +After a trip to Boston, during which Mrs. Clemens did some bric-a-brac +shopping, he wrote: + + Mrs. Clemens has two imperishable topics now: the museum of andirons + which she collected and your dinner. It is hard to tell which she + admires the most. Sometimes she leans one way and sometimes the + other; but I lean pretty steadily toward the dinner because I can + appreciate that, whereas I am no prophet in andirons. There has + been a procession of Adams Express wagons filing before the door all + day delivering andirons. + +In a more serious vein he refers to the aged violinist Ole Bull and his +wife, whom they had met during their visit, and their enjoyment of that +gentle-hearted pair. + +Clemens did some shorter work that spring, most of which found its way +into the Atlantic. "Edward Mills and George Benton," one of the +contributions of this time, is a moral sermon in its presentation of a +pitiful human spectacle and misdirected human zeal. + +It brought a pack of letters of approval, not only from laity, but the +church, and in some measure may have helped to destroy the silly +sentimentalism which manifested itself in making heroes of spectacular +criminals. That fashion has gone out, largely. Mark Twain wrote +frequently on the subject, though never more effectively than in this +particular instance. "Mrs. McWilliams and the Lightning" was another +Atlantic story, a companion piece to "Mrs. McWilliams's Experience with +the Membranous Croup," and in the same delightful vein--a vein in which +Mark Twain was likely to be at his best--the transcription of a scene not +so far removed in character from that in the "cat" letter just quoted: +something which may or may not have happened, but might have happened, +approximately as set down. Rose Terry Cooke wrote: + + Horrid man, how did you know the way I behave in a thunderstorm? + Have you been secreted in the closet or lurking on the shed roof? + I hope you got thoroughly rained on; and worst of all is that you + made me laugh at myself; my real terrors turned round and grimaced + at me: they were sublime, and you have made them ridiculous just + come out here another year and have four houses within a few rods of + you struck and then see if you write an article of such exasperating + levity. I really hate you, but you are funny. + +In addition to his own work, he conceived a plan for Orion. Clemens +himself had been attempting, from time to time, an absolutely faithful +autobiography; a document in which his deeds and misdeeds, even his moods +and inmost thoughts, should be truly set down. He had found it an +impossible task. He confessed freely that he lacked the courage, even +the actual ability, to pen the words that would lay his soul bare, but he +believed Orion equal to the task. He knew how rigidly honest he was, how +ready to confess his shortcomings, how eager to be employed at some +literary occupation. It was Mark Twain's belief that if Orion would +record in detail his long, weary struggle, his succession of attempts and +failures, his past dreams and disappointments, along with his sins of +omission and commission, it would make one of those priceless human +documents such as have been left by Benvenuto Cellini, Cazenova, and +Rousseau. + +"Simply tell your story to yourself," he wrote, "laying all hideousness +utterly bare, reserving nothing. Banish the idea of the audience and all +hampering things." + +Orion, out in Keokuk, had long since abandoned the chicken farm and a +variety of other enterprises. He had prospected insurance, mining, +journalism, his old trade of printing, and had taken down and hung up his +law shingle between each of these seizures. Aside from business, too, he +had been having a rather spectacular experience. He had changed his +politics three times (twice in one day), and his religion as many more. +Once when he was delivering a political harangue in the street, at night, +a parade of the opposition (he had but just abandoned them) marched by +carrying certain flaming transparencies, which he himself had made for +them the day before. Finally, after delivering a series of infidel +lectures; he had been excommunicated and condemned to eternal flames by +the Presbyterian Church. He was therefore ripe for any new diversion, +and the Autobiography appealed to him. He set about it with splendid +enthusiasm, wrote a hundred pages or so of his childhood with a startling +minutia of detail and frankness, and mailed them to his brother for +inspection. + +They were all that Mark Twain had expected; more than he had expected. +He forwarded them to Howells with great satisfaction, suggesting, with +certain excisions, they be offered anonymously to the Atlantic readers. + +But Howells's taste for realism had its limitations. He found the story +interesting--indeed, torturingly, heart-wringingly so--and, advising +strongly against its publication, returned it. + +Onion was steaming along at the rate of ten to twenty pages a day now, +forwarding them as fast as written, while his courage was good and the +fires warm. Clemens, receiving a package by every morning mail, soon +lost interest, then developed a hunted feeling, becoming finally +desperate. He wrote wildly to shut Orion off, urging him to let his +manuscript accumulate, and to send it in one large consignment at the +end. This Orion did, and it is fair to say that in this instance at +least he stuck to his work faithfully to the bitter, disheartening end. +And it would have been all that Mark Twain had dreamed it would be, had +Orion maintained the simple narrative spirit of its early pages. But he +drifted off into theological byways; into discussions of his +excommunication and infidelities, which were frank enough, but lacked +human interest. + +In old age Mark Twain once referred to Orion's autobiography in print and +his own disappointment in it, which he attributed to Orion's having +departed from the idea of frank and unrestricted confession to exalt +himself as a hero-a statement altogether unwarranted, and due to one of +those curious confusions of memory and imagination that more than once +resulted in a complete reversal of the facts. A quantity of Orion's +manuscript has been lost and destroyed, but enough fragments of it remain +to show its fidelity to the original plan. It is just one long record of +fleeting hope, futile effort, and humiliation. It is the story of a life +of disappointment; of a man who has been defeated and beaten down and +crushed by the world until he has nothing but confession left to +surrender.--[Howells, in his letter concerning the opening chapters, +said that they would some day make good material. Fortunately the +earliest of these chapters were preserved, and, as the reader may +remember, furnished much of the childhood details for this biography.] + +Whatever may have been Mark Twain's later impression of his brother's +manuscript, its story of failure and disappointment moved him to definite +action at the time. + +Several years before, in Hartford, Orion had urged him to make his +publishing contracts on a basis of half profits, instead of on the +royalty plan. Clemens, remembering this, had insisted on such an +arrangement for the publication of 'A Tramp Abroad', and when his first +statement came in he realized that the new contract was very largely to +his advantage. He remembered Orion's anxiety in the matter, and made it +now a valid excuse for placing his brother on a firm financial footing. + +Out of the suspicions which you bred in me years ago has grown this +result, to wit: that I shall within the twelve months get $40,000 out of +this Tramp, instead of $20,000. $20,000, after taxes and other expenses +are stripped away, is worth to the investor about $75 a month, so I shall +tell Mr. Perkins [his lawyer and financial agent] to make your check that +amount per month hereafter.... This ends the loan business, and +hereafter you can reflect that you are living not on borrowed money, but +on money which you have squarely earned, and which has no taint or savor +of charity about it, and you can also reflect that the money which you +have been receiving of me is charged against the heavy bill which the +next publisher will have to stand who gets a book of mine. + +From that time forward Orion Clemens was worth substantially twenty +thousand dollars--till the day of his death, and, after him, his widow. +Far better was it for him that the endowment be conferred in the form of +an income, than had the capital amount been placed in his hands. + + + +CXXVIII + +MARK TWAIN's ABSENT-MINDEDNESS + +A number of amusing incidents have been more or less accurately reported +concerning Mark Twain's dim perception of certain physical surroundings, +and his vague resulting memories--his absent-mindedness, as we say. + +It was not that he was inattentive--no man was ever less so if the +subject interested him--but only that the casual, incidental thing seemed +not to find a fixed place in his deeper consciousness. + +By no means was Mark Twain's absent-mindedness a development of old age. +On the two occasions following he was in the very heyday of his mental +strength. Especially was it, when he was engaged upon some absorbing or +difficult piece of literature, that his mind seemed to fold up and shut +most of the world away. Soon after his return from Europe, when he was +still struggling with 'A Tramp Abroad', he wearily put the manuscript +aside, one day, and set out to invite F. G. Whitmore over for a game of +billiards. Whitmore lived only a little way down the street, and Clemens +had been there time and again. It was such a brief distance that he +started out in his slippers and with no hat. But when he reached the +corner where the house, a stone's-throw away, was in plain view he +stopped. He did not recognize it. It was unchanged, but its outlines +had left no impress upon his mind. He stood there uncertainly a little +while, then returned and got the coachman, Patrick McAleer, to show him +the way. + +The second, and still more picturesque instance, belongs also to this +period. One day, when he was playing billiards with Whitmore, George, +the butler, came up with a card. + +"Who is he, George?" Clemens asked, without looking at the card. + +"I don't know, suh, but he's a gentleman, Mr. Clemens." + +"Now, George, how many times have I told you I don't want to see +strangers when I'm playing billiards! This is just some book agent, or +insurance man, or somebody with something to sell. I don't want to see +him, and I'm not going to." + +"Oh, but this is a gentleman, I'm sure, Mr. Clemens. Just look at his +card, suh." + +"Yes, of course, I see--nice engraved card--but I don't know him, and if +it was St. Peter himself I wouldn't buy the key of salvation! You tell +him so--tell him--oh, well, I suppose I've got to go and get rid of him +myself. I'll be back in a minute, Whitmore." + +He ran down the stairs, and as he got near the parlor door, which stood +open, he saw a man sitting on a couch with what seemed to be some framed +water-color pictures on the floor near his feet. + +"Ah, ha!" he thought, "I see. A picture agent. I'll soon get rid of +him." + +He went in with his best, "Well, what can I do for you?" air, which he, +as well as any man living, knew how to assume; a friendly air enough, but +not encouraging. The gentleman rose and extended his hand. + +"How are you, Mr. Clemens?" he said. + +Of course this was the usual thing with men who had axes to grind or +goods to sell. Clemens did not extend a very cordial hand. He merely +raised a loose, indifferent hand--a discouraging hand. + +"And how is Mrs. Clemens?" asked the uninvited guest. + +So this was his game. He would show an interest in the family and +ingratiate himself in that way; he would be asking after the children +next. + +"Well--Mrs. Clemens is about as usual--I believe." + +"And the children--Miss Susie and little Clara?" + +This was a bit startling. He knew their names! Still, that was easy to +find out. He was a smart agent, wonderfully smart. He must be got rid +of. + +"The children are well, quite well," and (pointing down at the pictures)- +-"We've got plenty like these. We don't want any more. No, we don't +care for any more," skilfully working his visitor toward the door as he +talked. + +The man, looking non-plussed--a good deal puzzled--allowed himself to be +talked into the hall and toward the front door. Here he paused a moment: + +"Mr. Clemens, will you tell me where Mr. Charles Dudley Warner lives?" + +This was the chance! He would work him off on Charlie Warner. Perhaps +Warner needed pictures. + +"Oh, certainly, certainly! Right across the yard. I'll show you. +There's a walk right through. You don't need to go around the front way +at all. You'll find him at home, too, I'm pretty sure"; all the time +working his caller out and down the step and in the right direction. + +The visitor again extended his hand. + +"Please remember me to Mrs. Clemens and the children." + +"Oh, certainly, certainly, with pleasure. Good day. Yes, that's the +house Good-by." + +On the way back to the billiard-room Mrs. Clemens called to him. She was +ill that day. + +"Youth!" + +"Yes, Livy." He went in for a word. + +"George brought me Mr. B----'s card. I hope you were very nice to him; +the B----s were so nice to us, once last year, when you were gone.", + +"The B----s--Why, Livy ----" + +"Yes, of course, and I asked him to be sure to call when he came to +Hartford." + +He gazed at her helplessly. + +"Well, he's been here." + +"Oh, Youth, have you done anything?" + +"Yes, of course I have. He seemed to have some pictures to sell, so I +sent him over to Warner's. I noticed he didn't take them with him. Land +sakes, Livy, what can I do?" + +"Which way did he go, Youth?" + +"Why, I sent him to Charlie Warner's. I thought----" + +"Go right after him. Go quick! Tell him what you have done." + +He went without further delay, bareheaded and in his slippers, as usual. +Warner and B---- were in cheerful and friendly converse. They had met +before. Clemens entered gaily: + +"Oh Yes, I see! You found him all right. Charlie, we met Mr. B---- and +his wife in Europe last summer and they made things pleasant for us. I +wanted to come over here with him, but was a good deal occupied just +then. Livy isn't very well, but she seems a good deal better, so I just +followed along to have a good talk, all together." + +He stayed an hour, and whatever bad impression had formed in B----'s mind +faded long before the hour ended. Returning home Clemens noticed the +pictures still on the parlor floor. + +"George," he said, "what pictures are those that gentleman left?" + +"Why, Mr. Clemens, those are our own pictures. I've been straightening +up the room a little, and Mrs. Clemens had me set them around to see how +they would look in new places. The gentleman was looking at them while +he was waiting for you to come down." + + + + +CXXIX + +FURTHER AFFAIRS AT THE FARM + +It was at Elmira, in July (1880), that the third little girl came--Jane +Lampton, for her grandmother, but always called Jean. She was a large, +lovely baby, robust and happy. When she had been with them a little more +than a month Clemens, writing to Twichell, said: + + DEAR OLD JOE,--Concerning Jean Clemens, if anybody said he "didn't + see no pints about that frog that's any better'n any other frog," I + should think he was convicting himself of being a pretty poor sort + of observer. She is the comeliest and daintiest and perfectest + little creature the continents and archipelagos have seen since the + Bay and Susy were her size. I will not go into details; it is not + necessary; you will soon be in Hartford, where I have already hired + a hall; the admission fee will be but a trifle. + + It is curious to note the change in the stock-quotations of the + Affection Board brought about by throwing this new security on the + market. Four weeks ago the children still put Mama at the head of + the list right along, where she had always been. But now: + + Jean + Mama + Motley |cats + Fraulein | + Papa + + That is the way it stands now. Mama is become No. 2; I have dropped + from No. 4, and am become No. 5. Some time ago it used to be nip + and tuck between me and the cats, but after the cats "developed" I + didn't stand any more show. + + Been reading Daniel Webster's Private Correspondence. Have read a + hundred of his diffuse, conceited, "eloquent," bathotic (or + bathostic) letters, written in that dim (no, vanished) past, when he + was a student. And Lord! to think that this boy, who is so real to + me now, and so booming with fresh young blood and bountiful life, + and sappy cynicisms about girls, has since climbed the Alps of fame + and stood against the sun one brief, tremendous moment with the + world's eyes on him, and then----fzt! where is he? Why, the only + long thing, the only real thing about the whole shadowy business, is + the sense of the lagging dull and hoary lapse of time that has + drifted by since then; a vast, empty level, it seems, with a + formless specter glimpsed fitfully through the smoke and mist that + lie along its remote verge. + + Well, we are all getting along here first-rate. Livy gains strength + daily and sits up a deal; the baby is five weeks old and----But no + more of this. Somebody may be reading this letter eighty years + hence. And so, my friend (you pitying snob, I mean, who are holding + this yellow paper in your hand in 1960), save yourself the trouble + of looking further. I know how pathetically trivial our small + concerns would seem to you, and I will not let your eye profane + them. No, I keep my news; you keep your compassion. Suffice it you + to know, scoffer and ribald, that the little child is old and blind + now, and once more tooth less; and the rest of us are shadows these + many, many years. Yes, and your time cometh! + MARK. + +It is the ageless story. He too had written his youthful letters, and +later had climbed the Alps of fame and was still outlined against the +sun. Happily, the little child was to evade that harsher penalty--the +unwarranted bitterness and affront of a lingering, palsied age. + +Mrs. Clemens, in a letter somewhat later, set down a thought similar to +his: + +"We are all going so fast. Pretty soon we shall have been dead a hundred +years." + +Clemens varied his work that summer, writing alternately on 'The Prince +and the Pauper' and on the story about 'Huck Finn', which he had begun +four years earlier. + +He read the latter over and found in it a new interest. It did not +fascinate him, as did the story of the wandering prince. He persevered +only as the spirit moved him, piling up pages on both the tales. + +He always took a boy's pride in the number of pages he could complete at +a sitting, and if the day had gone well he would count them triumphantly, +and, lighting a fresh cigar, would come tripping down the long stair that +led to the level of the farm-house, and, gathering his audience, would +read to them the result of his industry; that is to say, he proceeded +with the story of the Prince. Apparently he had not yet acquired +confidence or pride enough in poor Huck to exhibit him, even to friends. + +The reference (in the letter to Twichell) to the cats at the farm +introduces one of the most important features of that idyllic resort. +There were always cats at the farm. Mark Twain himself dearly loved +cats, and the children inherited this passion. Susy once said: + +"The difference between papa and mama is, that mama loves morals and papa +loves cats." + +The cats did not always remain the same, but some of the same ones +remained a good while, and were there from season to season, always +welcomed and adored. They were commendable cats, with such names as +Fraulein, Blatherskite, Sour Mash, Stray Kit, Sin, and Satan, and when, +as happened now and then, a vacancy occurred in the cat census there +followed deep sorrow and elaborate ceremonies. + +Naturally, there would be stories about cats: impromptu bedtime stories, +which began anywhere and ended nowhere, and continued indefinitely +through a land inhabited only by cats and dreams. One of these stories, +as remembered and set down later, began: + + Once upon a time there was a noble, big cat whose christian name was + Catasaqua, because she lived in that region; but she didn't have any + surname, because she was a short-tailed cat, being a manx, and + didn't need one. It is very just and becoming in a long-tailed cat + to have a surname, but it would be very ostentatious, and even + dishonorable, in a manx. Well, Catasaqua had a beautiful family of + cattings; and they were of different colors, to harmonize with their + characters. Cattaraugus, the eldest, was white, and he had high + impulses and a pure heart; Catiline, the youngest, was black, and he + had a self-seeking nature, his motives were nearly always base, he + was truculent and insincere. He was vain and foolish, and often + said that he would rather be what he was, and live like a bandit, + yet have none above him, than be a cat-o'-nine-tails and eat with + the king. + +And so on without end, for the audience was asleep presently and the end +could wait. + +There was less enthusiasm over dogs at Quarry Farm. + +Mark Twain himself had no great love for the canine breed. To a woman +who wrote, asking for his opinion on dogs, he said, in part: + + By what right has the dog come to be regarded as a "noble" animal? + The more brutal and cruel and unjust you are to him the more your + fawning and adoring slave he becomes; whereas, if you shamefully + misuse a cat once she will always maintain a dignified reserve + toward you afterward you can never get her full confidence again. + +He was not harsh to dogs; occasionally he made friends with them. There +was once at the farm a gentle hound, named Bones, that for some reason +even won his way into his affections. Bones was always a welcome +companion, and when the end of summer came, and Clemens, as was his +habit, started down the drive ahead of the carriage, Bones, half-way to +the entrance, was waiting for him. Clemens stooped down, put his arms +around him, and bade him an affectionate good-by. He always recalled +Bones tenderly, and mentioned him in letters to the farm. + + + + +CXXX + +COPYRIGHT AND OTHER FANCIES + +The continued assault of Canadian pirates on his books kept Mark Twain's +interest sharply alive on the subject of copyright reform. He invented +one scheme after another, but the public-mind was hazy on the subject, +and legislators were concerned with purposes that interested a larger +number of voters. There were too few authors to be of much value at the +polls, and even of those few only a small percentage were vitally +concerned. For the others, foreign publishers rarely paid them the +compliment of piracy, while at home the copyright limit of forty-two +years was about forty-two times as long as they needed protection. Bliss +suggested a law making the selling of pirated books a penal offense, a +plan with a promising look, but which came to nothing. + +Clemens wrote to his old friend Rollin M. Daggett, who by this time was a +Congressman. Daggett replied that he would be glad to introduce any bill +that the authors might agree upon, and Clemens made at least one trip to +Washington to discuss the matter, but it came to nothing in the end. It +was a Presidential year, and it would do just as well to keep the authors +quiet by promising to do something next year. Any legislative stir is +never a good thing for a campaign. + +Clemens's idea for copyright betterment was not a fixed one. Somewhat +later, when an international treaty which would include protection for +authors was being discussed, his views had undergone a change. He wrote, +asking Howells: + + Will the proposed treaty protect us (and effectually) against + Canadian piracy? Because, if it doesn't, there is not a single + argument in favor of international copyright which a rational + American Senate could entertain for a moment. My notions have + mightily changed lately. I can buy Macaulay's History, three vols.; + bound, for $1.25; Chambers's Cyclopaedia, ten vols., cloth, for + $7.25 (we paid $60), and other English copyrights in proportion; I + can buy a lot of the great copyright classics, in paper, at from + three cents to thirty cents apiece. These things must find their + way into the very kitchens and hovels of the country. A generation + of this sort of thing ought to make this the most intelligent and + the best-read nation in the world. International copyright must + becloud this sun and bring on the former darkness and dime novel + reading. + + Morally this is all wrong; governmentally it is all right. For it + is the duty of governments and families to be selfish, and look out + simply for their own. International copyright would benefit a few + English authors and a lot of American publishers, and be a profound + detriment to twenty million Americans; it would benefit a dozen + American authors a few dollars a year, and there an end. The real + advantages all go to English authors and American publishers. + + And even if the treaty will kill Canadian piracy, and thus save me + an average of $5,000 a year, I'm down on it anyway, and I'd like + cussed well to write an article opposing the treaty. + +It is a characteristic expression. Mark Twain might be first to grab for +the life-preserver, but he would also be first to hand it to a humanity +in greater need. He could damn the human race competently, but in the +final reckoning it was the interest of that race that lay closest to his +heart. + +Mention has been made in an earlier chapter of Clemens's enthusiasms or +"rages" for this thing and that which should benefit humankind. He was +seldom entirely without them. Whether it was copyright legislation, the +latest invention, or a new empiric practice, he rarely failed to have a +burning interest in some anodyne that would provide physical or mental +easement for his species. Howells tells how once he was going to save +the human race with accordion letter-files--the system of order which +would grow out of this useful device being of such nerve and labor saving +proportions as to insure long life and happiness to all. The fountain- +pen, in its first imperfect form, must have come along about the same +time, and Clemens was one of the very earliest authors to own one. For a +while it seemed that the world had known no greater boon since the +invention of printing; but when it clogged and balked, or suddenly +deluged his paper and spilled in his pocket, he flung it to the outer +darkness. After which, the stylo-graphic pen. He tried one, and wrote +severally to Dr. Brown, to Howells, and to Twichell, urging its adoption. +Even in a letter to Mrs. Howells he could not forget his new possession: + + And speaking of Howells, he ought to use the stylographic pen, the + best fountain-pen yet invented; he ought to, but of course he won't + --a blamed old sodden-headed conservative--but you see yourself what + a nice, clean, uniform MS. it makes. + +And at the same time to Twichell: + + I am writing with a stylographic pen. It takes a royal amount of + cussing to make the thing go the first few days or a week, but by + that time the dullest ass gets the hang of the thing, and after that + no enrichments of expression are required, and said ass finds the + stylographic a genuine God's blessing. I carry one in each breeches + pocket, and both loaded. I'd give you one of them if I had you + where I could teach you how to use it--not otherwise. For the + average ass flings the thing out of the window in disgust the second + day, believing it hath no virtue, no merit of any sort; whereas the + lack lieth in himself, God of his mercy damn him. + +It was not easy to withstand Mark Twain's enthusiasm. Howells, Twichell, +and Dr. Brown were all presently struggling and swearing (figuratively) +over their stylographic pens, trying to believe that salvation lay in +their conquest. But in the midst of one letter, at last, Howells broke +down, seized his old steel weapon, and wrote savagely: "No white man +ought to use a stylographic pen, anyhow!" Then, with the more ancient +implement, continued in a calmer spirit. + +It was only a little later that Clemens himself wrote: + + You see I am trying a new pen. I stood the stylograph as long as I + could, and then retired to the pencil. The thing I am trying now is + that fountain-pen which is advertised to employ and accommodate + itself to any kind of pen. So I selected an ordinary gold pen--a + limber one--and sent it to New York and had it cut and fitted to + this thing. It goes very well indeed--thus far; but doubtless the + devil will be in it by tomorrow. + +Mark Twain's schemes were not all in the line of human advancement; some +of them were projected, primarily at least, for diversion. He was likely +at any moment to organize a club, a sort of private club, and at the time +of which we are writing he proposed what was called the "Modest" Club. +He wrote to Howells, about it: + + At present I am the only member, and as the modesty required must be + of a quite aggravated type the enterprise did seem for a time doomed + to stop dead still with myself, for lack of further material; but on + reflection I have come to the conclusion that you are eligible. + Therefore, I have held a meeting and voted to offer you the + distinction of membership. I do not know that we can find any + others, though I have had some thought of Hay, Warner, Twichell, + Aldrich, Osgood, Fields, Higginson, and a few more, together with + Mrs. Howells, Mrs. Clemens, and certain others of the sex. I have + long felt there ought to be an organized gang of our kind. + +He appends the by-laws, the main ones being: + + The object of the club shall be to eat and talk. + + Qualification for membership shall be aggravated modesty, + unobtrusiveness, native humility, learning, talent, intelligence, + unassailable character. + + There shall be no officers except a president, and any member who + has anything to eat and talk about may constitute himself president + for the time being. + + Any brother or sister of the order finding a brother or a sister in + imminently deadly peril shall forsake his own concerns, no matter at + what cost, and call the police. + + Any member knowing anything scandalous about himself shall + immediately inform the club, so that they shall call a meeting and + have the first chance to talk about it. + +It was one of his whimsical fancies, and Howells replied that he would +like to join it, only that he was too modest--that is, too modest to +confess that he was modest enough for membership. + +He added that he had sent a letter, with the rules, to Hay, but doubted +his modesty. He said: + +"He will think he has a right to belong as much as you or I." + +Howells agreed that his own name might be put down, but the idea seems +never to have gone any further. Perhaps the requirements of membership +were too severe. + + + + +CXXXI + +WORKING FOR GARFIELD + +Eighteen hundred and eighty was a Presidential year. General Garfield +was nominated on the Republican ticket (against General Hancock), and +Clemens found him satisfactory. + +Garfield suits me thoroughly and exactly [he wrote Howells]. I prefer +him to Grant's friends. The Presidency can't add anything to Grant; he +will shine on without it. It is ephemeral; he is eternal. + +That was the year when the Republican party became panicky over the +disaffection in its ranks, due to the defeat of Grant in the convention, +and at last, by pleadings and promises, conciliated Platt and Conkling +and brought them into the field. General Grant also was induced to save +the party from defeat, and made a personal tour of oratory for that +purpose. He arrived in Hartford with his family on the 16th of October, +and while his reception was more or less partizan, it was a momentous +event. A vast procession passed in review before him, and everywhere +houses and grounds were decorated. To Mrs. Clemens, still in Elmira, +Clemens wrote: + + I found Mr. Beals hard at work in the rain with his decorations. + With a ladder he had strung flags around our bedroom balcony, and + thence around to the porte-cochere, which was elaborately flagged; + thence the flags of all nations were suspended from a line which + stretched past the greenhouse to the limit of our grounds. Against + each of the two trees on the mound, half-way down to our gate, + stands a knight in complete armor. Piles of still-bundled flags + clutter up the ombra (to be put up), also gaudy shields of various + shapes (arms of this and other countries), also some huge glittering + arches and things done in gold and silver paper, containing mottoes + in big letters. I broke Mr. Beals's heart by persistently and + inflexibly annulling and forbidding the biggest and gorgeousest of + the arches--it had on it, in all the fires of the rainbow, "The Home + of Mark Twain," in letters as big as your head. Oh, we're going to + be decorated sufficient, don't you worry about that, madam. + +Clemens was one of those delegated to receive Grant and to make a speech +of welcome. It was a short speech but an effective one, for it made +Grant laugh. He began: + + "I am among those deputed to welcome you to the sincere and cordial + hospitalities of Hartford, the city of the historic and revered + Charter Oak, of which most of the town is built." He seemed to be + at loss what to say next, and, leaning over, pretended to whisper to + Grant; then, as if he had obtained the information he wanted, he + suddenly straightened up and poured out the old-fashioned eulogy on + Grant's achievements, adding, in an aside, as he finished: + + "I nearly forgot that part of my speech," which evoked roars of + laughter from the assembly and a grim smile from Grant. He spoke of + Grant as being out of public employment, with private opportunities + closed against him, and added, "But your country will reward you, + never fear." + +Then he closed: + + When Wellington won Waterloo, a battle about on a level with any one + of a dozen of your victories, sordid England tried to pay him for + that service with wealth and grandeurs. She made him a duke and + gave him $4,000,000. If you had done and suffered for any other + country what you have done and suffered for your own you would have + been affronted in the same sordid way. But, thank God! this vast + and rich and mighty republic is imbued to the core with a delicacy + which will forever preserve her from so degrading you. + + Your country loves you--your country's proud of you--your country is + grateful to you. Her applauses, which have been many, thundering in + your ears all these weeks and months, will never cease while the + flag you saved continues to wave. + + Your country stands ready from this day forth to testify her + measureless love and pride and gratitude toward you in every + conceivable--inexpensive way. Welcome to Hartford, great soldier, + honored statesman, unselfish citizen. + +Grant's grim smile showed itself more than once during the speech, and +when Clemens reached the sentence that spoke of his country rewarding him +in "every conceivable--inexpensive way" his composure broke up completely +and he "nearly laughed his entire head off," according to later +testimony, while the spectators shouted their approval. + +Grant's son, Col. Fred Grant,--[Maj.-Gen'l, U. S. Army, 1906. Died +April, 1912.]--dined at the Clemens home that night, and Rev. Joseph +Twichell and Henry C. Robinson. Twichell's invitation was in the form +of a telegram. It said: + + I want you to dine with us Saturday half past five and meet Col. + Fred Grant. No ceremony. Wear the same shirt you always wear. + +The campaign was at its height now, and on the evening of October 26th +there was a grand Republican rally at the opera-house with addresses by +Charles Dudley Warner, Henry C. Robinson, and Mark Twain. It was an +unpleasant, drizzly evening, but the weather had no effect on their +audience. The place was jammed and packed, the aisles, the windows, and +the gallery railings full. Hundreds who came as late as the hour +announced for the opening were obliged to turn back, for the building had +been thronged long before. Mark Twain's speech that night is still +remembered in Hartford as the greatest effort of his life. It was hardly +that, except to those who were caught in the psychology of the moment, +the tumult and the shouting of patriotism, the surge and sweep of the +political tide. The roaring delight of the audience showed that to them +at least it was convincing. Howells wrote that he had read it twice, and +that he could not put it out of his mind. Whatever its general effect +was need not now be considered. Garfield was elected, and perhaps +Grant's visit to Hartford and the great mass-meeting that followed +contributed their mite to that result. + +Clemens saw General Grant again that year, but not on political business. +The Educational Mission, which China had established in Hartford--a +thriving institution for eight years or more--was threatened now by +certain Chinese authorities with abolishment. Yung Wing (a Yale +graduate), the official by whom it had been projected and under whose +management it had prospered, was deeply concerned, as was the Rev. Joseph +Twichell, whose interest in the mission was a large and personal one. +Yung Wing declared that if influence could be brought upon Li Hung Chang, +then the most influential of Chinese counselors, the mission might be +saved. Twichell, remembering the great honors which Li Hung Chang had +paid to General Grant in China, also Grant's admiration of Mark Twain, +went to the latter without delay. Necessarily Clemens would be +enthusiastic, and act promptly. He wrote to Grant, and Grant replied by +telegraph, naming a day when he would see them in New York. + +They met at the Fifth Avenue Hotel. Grant was in fine spirits, and by no +means the "silent man" of his repute. + +He launched at once into as free and flowing talk as I have ever heard +[says Twichell], marked by broad and intelligent views on the subject of +China, her wants, disadvantages, etc. Now and then he asked a question, +but kept the lead of the conversation. At last he proposed, of his own +accord, to write a letter to Li Hung Chang, advising the continuance of +the Mission, asking only that I would prepare him some notes, giving him +points to go by. Thus we succeeded easily beyond our expectations, +thanks, very largely, to Clemens's assistance. + +Clemens wrote Howells of the interview, detailing at some length +Twichell's comical mixture of delight and chagrin at not being given time +to air the fund of prepared statistics with which he had come loaded. +It was as if he had come to borrow a dollar and had been offered a +thousand before he could unfold his case. + + + + + +CXXXII + +A NEW PUBLISHER + +It was near the end of the year that Clemens wrote to his mother: + + I have two stories, and by the verbal agreement they are both going + into the same book; but Livy says they're not, and by George! she + ought to know. She says they're going into separate books, and that + one of them is going to be elegantly gotten up, even if the elegance + of it eats up the publisher's profits and mine too. + + I anticipate that publisher's melancholy surprise when he calls here + Tuesday. However, let him suffer; it is his own fault. People who + fix up agreements with me without first finding out what Livy's + plans are take their fate into their own hands. + + I said two stories, but one of them is only half done; two or three + months' work on it yet. I shall tackle it Wednesday or Thursday; + that is, if Livy yields and allows both stories to go in one book, + which I hope she won't. + +The reader may surmise that the finished story--the highly regarded +story--was 'The Prince and the Pauper'. The other tale--the unfinished +and less considered one was 'The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn'. Nobody +appears to have been especially concerned about Huck, except, possibly, +the publisher. + +The publisher was not the American Company. Elisha Bliss, after long ill +health, had died that fall, and this fact, in connection with a growing +dissatisfaction over the earlier contracts, had induced Clemens to listen +to offers from other makers of books. The revelation made by the "half- +profit" returns from A Tramp Abroad meant to him, simply that the profits +had not been fairly apportioned, and he was accordingly hostile. To +Orion he wrote that, had Bliss lived, he would have remained with the +company and made it reimburse him for his losses, but that as matters +stood he would sever the long connection. It seemed a pity, later, that +he did this, but the break was bound to come. Clemens was not a business +man, and Bliss was not a philanthropist. He was, in fact, a shrewd, +capable publisher, who made as good a contract as he could; yet he was +square in his dealings, and the contract which Clemens held most bitterly +against him--that of 'Roughing It'--had been made in good faith and in +accordance with the conditions, of that period. In most of the later +contracts Clemens himself had named his royalties, and it was not in +human nature--business human nature--for Bliss to encourage the size of +these percentages. If one wished to draw a strictly moral conclusion +from the situation, one might say that it would have been better for the +American Publishing Company, knowing Mark Twain, voluntarily to have +allowed him half profits, which was the spirit of his old understanding +even if not the letter of it, rather than to have waited till he demanded +it and then to lose him by the result. Perhaps that would be also a +proper business deduction; only, as a rule, business morals are regulated +by the contract, and the contract is regulated by the necessities and the +urgency of demand. + +Never mind. Mark Twain revised 'The Prince and the Pauper', sent it to +Howells, who approved of it mightily (though with reservations as to +certain chapters), and gave it to James R. Osgood, who was grateful and +agreed to make it into a book upon which no expense for illustration or +manufacture should be spared. It was to be a sort of partnership +arrangement as between author and publisher, and large returns were +anticipated. + +Among the many letters which Clemens was just then writing to Howells one +was dated "Xmas Eve." It closes with the customary pleasantries and the +final line: + +"But it is growing dark. Merry Christmas to all of you!" + +That last was a line of large significance. It meant that the air was +filled with the whisper of hovering events and that he must mingle with +the mystery of preparation. Christmas was an important season in the +Clemens home. Almost the entire day before, Patrick was out with the +sleigh, delivering food and other gifts in baskets to the poor, and the +home preparations were no less busy. There was always a tree--a large +one--and when all the gifts had been gathered in--when Elmira and +Fredonia had delivered their contributions, and Orion and his wife in +Keokuk had sent the annual sack of hickory-nuts (the big river-bottom +nuts, big as a silver dollar almost, such nuts as few children of this +later generation ever see) when all this happy revenue had been gathered, +and the dusk of Christmas Eve had hurried the children off to bed, it was +Mrs. Clemens who superintended the dressing of the tree, her husband +assisting, with a willingness that was greater than his skill, and with a +boy's anticipation in the surprise of it next morning. + +Then followed the holidays, with parties and dances and charades, and +little plays, with the Warner and Twichell children. To the Clemens home +the Christmas season brought all the old round of juvenile happiness--the +spirit of kindly giving, the brightness and the merrymaking, the gladness +and tenderness and mystery that belong to no other season, and have been +handed down through all the ages since shepherds watched on the plains of +Bethlehem. + + + + +CXXXIII + +THE THREE FIRES--SOME BENEFACTIONS + +The tradition that fires occur in groups of three was justified in the +Clemens household that winter. On each of three successive days flames +started that might have led to ghastly results. + +The children were croupy, and one morning an alcohol lamp near little +Clara's bed, blown by the draught, set fire to the canopy. Rosa, the +nurse, entered just as the blaze was well started. She did not lose her +presence of mind,--[Rosa was not the kind to lose her head. Once, in +Europe, when Bay had crept between the uprights of a high balustrade, and +was hanging out over destruction, Rosa, discovering her, did not scream +but spoke to her playfully and lifted her over into safety.]--but +snatched the little girl out of danger, then opened the window and threw +the burning bedding on the lawn. The child was only slightly scorched, +but the escape was narrow enough. + +Next day little Jean was lying asleep in her crib, in front of an open +wood fire, carefully protected by a firescreen, when a spark, by some +ingenuity, managed to get through the mesh of the screen and land on the +crib's lace covering. Jean's nurse, Julia, arrived to find the lace a +gust of flame and the fire spreading. She grabbed the sleeping Jean and +screamed. Rosa, again at hand, heard the scream, and rushing in once +more opened a window and flung out the blazing bedclothes. Clemens +himself also arrived, and together they stamped out the fire. + +On the third morning, just before breakfast-time, Susy was practising at +the piano in the school-room, which adjoined the nursery. At one end of +the room a fire of large logs was burning. Susy was at the other end of +the room, her back to the fire. A log burned in two and fell, scattering +coals around the woodwork which supported the mantel. Just as the blaze +was getting fairly started a barber, waiting to trim Mr. Clemens's hair, +chanced to look in and saw what was going on. He stepped into the +nursery bath-room, brought a pitcher of water and extinguished the +flames. This period was always referred to in the Clemens household as +the "three days of fire." + +Clemens would naturally make philosophical deductions from these +coincidental dangers and the manner in which they had been averted. He +said that all these things were comprehended in the first act of the +first atom; that, but for some particular impulse given in that remote +time, the alcohol flame would not have blown against the canopy, the +spark would not have found its way through the screen, the log would not +have broken apart in that dangerous way, and that Rosa and Julia and the +barber would not have been at hand to save precious life and property. +He did not go further and draw moral conclusions as to the purpose of +these things: he never drew conclusions as to purpose. He was willing to +rest with the event. Logically he did not believe in reasons for things, +but only that things were. + +Nevertheless, he was always trying to change them; to have a hand in +their improvement. Had you asked him, he would have said that this, too, +was all in the primal atom; that his nature, such as it was, had been +minutely embodied there. + +In that charming volume, 'My Mark Twain', Howells tells us of Clemens's +consideration, and even tenderness, for the negro race and his effort to +repair the wrong done by his nation. Mark Twain's writings are full of +similar evidence, and in his daily life he never missed an opportunity to +pay tribute to the humbler race. He would go across the street to speak +to an old negro, and to take his hand. He would read for a negro church +when he would have refused a cathedral. Howells mentions the colored +student whose way through college Clemens paid as a partial reparation +"due from every white man to every black man."--[Mark Twain paid two +colored students through college. One of them, educated in a Southern +institution, became a minister of the gospel. The other graduated from +the Yale Law School.]--This incident belongs just to the period of which +we are now writing, and there is another which, though different enough, +indicates the same tendency. + +Garfield was about to be inaugurated, and it was rumored that Frederick +Douglass might lose his position as Marshal of the District of Columbia. +Clemens was continually besought by one and another to use his influence +with the Administration, and in every case had refused. Douglass had +made no such, application. Clemens, learning that the old negro's place +was in danger, interceded for him of his own accord. He closed his +letter to General Garfield: + + A simple citizen may express a desire, with all propriety, in the + matter of recommendation to office, and so I beg permission to hope + that you will retain Mr. Douglass in his present office of Marshal + of the District of Columbia, if such a course will not clash with + your own preferences or with the expediencies and interests of your + Administration. I offer this petition with peculiar pleasure and + strong desire, because I so honor this man's high and blemishless + character, and so admire his brave, long crusade for the liberties + and elevation of his race. + + He is a personal friend of mine, but that is nothing to the point; + his history would move me to say these things without that, and I + feel them, too. + +Douglass wrote to Clemens, thanking him for his interest; at the end he +said: + + I think if a man is mean enough to want an office he ought to be + noble enough to ask for it, and use all honorable means of getting + it. I mean to ask, and I will use your letter as a part of my + petition. It will put the President-elect in a good humor, in any + case, and that is very important. + + With great respect, + Gratefully yours, + FREDERICK DOUGLASS. + + +Mark Twain's benefactions were not all for the colored race. One morning +in February of this same year, while the family were at late breakfast, +George came in to announce "a lady waiting to see Mr. Clemens in the +drawing-room." Clemens growled. + +"George," he said, "it's a book agent. I won't see her. I'll die, in my +tracks first." + +He went, fuming and raging inwardly, and began at once to ask the nature +of the intruder's business. Then he saw that she was very young and +modest, with none of the assurance of a canvasser, so he gave her a +chance to speak. She told him that a young man employed in Pratt & +Whitney's machine-shops had made a statue in clay, and would like to have +Mark Twain come and look at it and see if it showed any promise of future +achievement. His name, she said, was Karl Gerhardt, and he was her +husband. Clemens protested that he knew nothing about art, but the young +woman's manner and appearance (she seemed scarcely more than a child) won +him. He wavered, and finally promised that he would come the first +chance he had; that in fact he would come some time during the next week. +On her suggestion he agreed to come early in the week; he specified +Monday, "without fail." + +When she was gone, and the door shut behind her, his usual remorse came +upon him. He said to himself: + +"Why didn't I go now? Why didn't I go with her now?" + +She went from Clemens's over to Warner's. Warner also resisted, but, +tempted beyond his strength by her charm, laid down his work and went at +once. When he returned he urged Clemens to go without fail, and, true to +promise, Clemens took Patrick, the coachman, and hunted up the place. +Clemens saw the statue, a seminude, for which the young wife had posed, +and was struck by its evident merit. Mrs. Gerhardt told him the story of +her husband's struggles between his daily work and the effort to develop +his talent. He had never had a lesson, she said; if he could only have +lessons what might he not accomplish? + +Mrs. Clemens and Miss Spaulding called next day, and were equally carried +away with Karl Gerhardt, his young wife, and his effort to win his way in +art. Clemens and Warner made up their minds to interest themselves +personally in the matter, and finally persuaded the painter J. Wells +Champney to come over from New York and go with them to the Gerhardts' +humble habitation, to see his work. Champney approved of it. He thought +it well worth while, he said, for the people of Hartford to go to the +expense of Gerhardt's art education. He added that it would be better to +get the judgment of a sculptor. So they brought over John Quincy Adams +Ward, who, like all the others, came away bewitched with these young +people and their struggles for the sake of art. Ward said: + +"If any stranger had told me that this 'prentice did not model that thing +from plaster-casts I should not have believed it. It's full of +crudities, but it's full of genius, too. Hartford must send him to Paris +for two years; then, if the promise holds good, keep him there three +more." + +When he was gone Mrs. Clemens said: + +"Youth, we won't wait for Hartford to do it. It would take too long. +Let us send the Gerhardts to Paris ourselves, and say nothing about it to +any one else." + +So the Gerhardts, provided with funds and an arrangement that would +enable them to live for five years in Paris if necessary, were started +across the sea without further delay. + +Clemens and his wife were often doing something of this sort. There was +seldom a time that they were not paying the way of some young man or +woman through college, or providing means and opportunity for development +in some special field of industry. + + + + +CXXXIV + +LITERARY PROJECTS AND A MONUMENT TO ADAM + +Mark Twain's literary work languished during this period. He had a world +of plans, as usual, and wrote plentifully, but without direction or +conclusion. "A Curious Experience," which relates a circumstance told to +him by an army officer, is about the most notable of the few completed +manuscripts of this period. + +Of the books projected (there were several), a burlesque manual of +etiquette would seem to have been the most promising. Howells had faith +in it, and of the still remaining fragments a few seem worth quoting: + + AT BILLIARDS + + If your ball glides along in the intense and immediate vicinity of + the object-ball, and a count seems exquisitely imminent, lift one + leg; then one shoulder; then squirm your body around in sympathy + with the direction of the moving ball; and at the instant when the + ball seems on the point of colliding throw up both of your arms + violently. Your cue will probably break a chandelier, but no + matter; you have done what you could to help the count. + + AT THE DOG-FIGHT + + If it occur in your block, courteously give way to strangers + desiring a view, particularly ladies. + + Avoid showing partiality toward the one dog, lest you hurt the + feelings of the other one. + + Let your secret sympathies and your compassion be always with the + under dog in the fight--this is magnanimity; but bet on the other + one--this is business. + + AT POKER + + If you draw to a flush and fail to fill, do not continue the + conflict. + + If you hold a pair of trays, and your opponent is blind, and it + costs you fifty to see him, let him remain unperceived. + + If you hold nothing but ace high, and by some means you know that + the other man holds the rest of the aces, and he calls, excuse + yourself; let him call again another time. + + WALL STREET + + If you live in the country, buy at 80, sell at 40. Avoid all forms + of eccentricity. + + IN THE RESTAURANT + + When you wish to get the waiter's attention, do not sing out "Say!" + Simply say "Szt!" + + +His old abandoned notion of "Hamlet" with an added burlesque character +came back to him and stirred his enthusiasm anew, until even Howells +manifested deep interest in the matter. One reflects how young Howells +must have been in those days; how full of the joy of existence; also how +mournfully he would consider such a sacrilege now. + +Clemens proposed almost as many things to Howells as his brother Orion +proposed to him. There was scarcely a letter that didn't contain some +new idea, with a request for advice or co-operation. Now it was some +book that he meant to write some day, and again it would be a something +that he wanted Howells to write. + +Once he urged Howells to make a play, or at least a novel, out of Orion. +At another time he suggested as material the "Rightful Earl of Durham." + +He is a perfectly stunning literary bonanza, and must be dug up and put +on the market. You must get his entire biography out of him and have it +ready for Osgood's magazine. Even if it isn't worth printing, you must +have it anyway, and use it one of these days in one of your stories or in +a play. + +It was this notion about 'The American Claimant' which somewhat later +would lead to a collaboration with Howells on a drama, and eventually to +a story of that title. + +But Clemens's chief interest at this time lay in publishing, rather than +in writing. His association with Osgood inspired him to devise new +ventures of profit. He planned a 'Library of American Humor', which +Howells (soon to leave the Atlantic) and "Charley" Clark--[Charles +Hopkins Clark, managing editor of the Hartford Courant.]--were to edit, +and which Osgood would publish, for subscription sale. Without realizing +it, Clemens was taking his first step toward becoming his own publisher. +His contract with Osgood for 'The Prince and the Pauper' made him +essentially that, for by the terms of it he agreed to supply all the +money for the making of the book, and to pay Osgood a royalty of seven +and one-half per cent. for selling it, reversing the usual conditions. +The contract for the Library of Humor was to be a similar one, though in +this case Osgood was to have a larger royalty return, and to share +proportionately in the expense and risk. Mark Twain was entering into a +field where he did not belong; where in the end he would harvest only +disaster and regret. + +One curious project came to an end in 1881--the plan for a monument to +Adam. In a sketch written a great many years later Mark Twain tells of +the memorial which the Rev. Thomas K. Beecher and himself once proposed +to erect to our great common ancestor. The story is based on a real +incident. Clemens, in Elmira one day (it was October, 1879), heard of a +jesting proposal made by F. G. Hall to erect a monument in Elmira to +Adam. The idea promptly caught Mark Twain's fancy. He observed to +Beecher that the human race really showed a pretty poor regard for its +great progenitor, who was about to be deposed by Darwin's simian, not to +pay him the tribute of a single monument. Mankind, he said, would +probably accept the monkey ancestor, and in time the very name of Adam +would be forgotten. He declared Mr. Hall's suggestion to be a sound +idea. + +Beecher agreed that there were many reasons why a monument should be +erected to Adam, and suggested that a subscription be started for the +purpose. Certain business men, seeing an opportunity for advertising the +city, took the matter semi-seriously, and offered to contribute large +sums in the interest of the enterprise. Then it was agreed that Congress +should be petitioned to sanction the idea exclusively to Elmira, +prohibiting the erection of any such memorial elsewhere. A document to +this effect was prepared, headed by F. G. Hall, and signed by other +leading citizens of Elmira, including Beecher himself. General Joe +Hawley came along just then on a political speech-making tour. Clemens +introduced him, and Hawley, in turn, agreed to father the petition in +Congress. What had begun merely as pleasantry began to have a formidable +look. + +But alas! in the end Hawley's courage had failed him. He began to hate +his undertaking. He was afraid of the national laugh it would arouse, +the jeers of the newspapers. It was certain to leak out that Mark Twain +was behind it, in spite of the fact that his name nowhere appeared; that +it was one of his colossal jokes. Now and then, in the privacy of his +own room at night, Hawley would hunt up the Adam petition and read it and +feel the cold sweat breaking out. He postponed the matter from one +session to another till the summer of 1881, when he was about to sail for +Europe. Then he gave the document to his wife, to turn over to Clemens, +and ignominiously fled. + +[For text of the petition in full, etc., see Appendix P, at the end of +last volume.] + +Mark Twain's introduction of Hawley at Elmira contained this pleasantry: +"General Hawley was president of the Centennial Commission. Was a +gallant soldier in the war. He has been Governor of Connecticut, member +of Congress, and was president of the convention that nominated Abraham +Lincoln." + +General Hawley: "That nominated Grant." + +Twain: "He says it was Grant, but I know better. He is a member of my +church at Hartford, and the author of 'Beautiful Snow.' Maybe he will +deny that. But I am only here to give him a character from his last +place. As a pure citizen, I respect him; as a personal friend of years, +I have the warmest regard for him; as a neighbor whose vegetable garden +joins mine, why--why, I watch him. That's nothing; we all do that with +any neighbor. General Hawley keeps his promises, not only in private, +but in public. He is an editor who believes what he writes in his own +paper. As the author of 'Beautiful Snow' he added a new pang to winter. +He is broad-souled, generous, noble, liberal, alive to his moral and +religious responsibilities. Whenever the contribution-box was passed I +never knew him to take out a cent." + + + + +CXXXV + +A TRIP WITH SHERMAN AND AN INTERVIEW WITH GRANT. + +The Army of the Potomac gave a dinner in Hartford on the 8th of June, +1881. But little memory remains of it now beyond Mark Twain's speech and +a bill of fare containing original comments, ascribed to various revered +authors, such as Johnson, Milton, and Carlyle. A pleasant incident +followed, however, which Clemens himself used to relate. General Sherman +attended the banquet, and Secretary of War, Robert Lincoln. Next morning +Clemens and Twichell were leaving for West Point, where they were to +address the military students, guests on the same special train on which +Lincoln and Sherman had their private car. This car was at the end of +the train, and when the two passengers reached the station, Sherman and +Lincoln were out on the rear platform addressing the multitude. Clemens +and Twichell went in and, taking seats, waited for them. + +As the speakers finished the train started, but they still remained +outside, bowing and waving to the assembled citizens, so that it was +under good headway before they came in. Sherman came up to Clemens, who +sat smoking unconcernedly. + +"Well," he said, "who told you you could go in this car?" + +"Nobody," said Clemens. + +"Do you expect to pay extra fare?" asked Sherman. + +"No," said Clemens. "I don't expect to pay any fare." + +"Oh, you don't. Then you'll work your way." + +Sherman took off his coat and military hat and made Clemens put them on. + +"Now," said he, "whenever the train stops you go out on the platform and +represent me and make a speech." + +It was not long before the train stopped, and Clemens, according to +orders, stepped out on the rear platform and bowed to the crowd. There +was a cheer at the sight of his military uniform. Then the cheer waned, +became a murmur of uncertainty, followed by an undertone of discussion. +Presently somebody said: + +"Say, that ain't Sherman, that's Mark Twain," which brought another +cheer. + +Then Sherman had to come out too, and the result was that both spoke. +They kept this up at the different stations, and sometimes Lincoln came +out with them. When there was time all three spoke, much to the +satisfaction of their audiences. + +President Garfield was shot that summer--July 2, 1881.--[On the day that +President Garfield was shot Mrs. Clemens received from their friend +Reginald Cholmondeley a letter of condolence on the death of her husband +in Australia; startling enough, though in reality rather comforting than +otherwise, for the reason that the "Mark Twain" who had died in Australia +was a very persistent impostor. Clemens wrote Cholmondeley: "Being dead +I might be excused from writing letters, but I am not that kind of a +corpse. May I never be so dead as to neglect the hail of a friend from a +far land." Out of this incident grew a feature of an anecdote related in +Following the Equator the joke played by the man from Bendigo.]--He died +September 19th, and Arthur came into power. There was a great feeling of +uncertainty as to what he would do. He was regarded as "an excellent +gentleman with a weakness for his friends." Incumbents holding +appointive offices were in a state of dread. + +Howells's father was consul at Toronto, and, believing his place to be in +danger, he appealed to his son. In his book Howells tells how, in turn, +he appealed to Clemens, remembering his friendship with Grant and Grant's +friendship with Arthur. He asked Clemens to write to Grant, but Clemens +would hear of nothing less than a call on the General, during which the +matter would be presented to him in person. Howells relates how the +three of them lunched together, in a little room just out of the office, +on baked beans and coffee, brought in from some near-by restaurant: + + The baked beans and coffee were of about the railroad-refreshment + quality; but eating them with Grant was like sitting down to baked + beans and coffee with Julius Caesar, or Alexander, or some other + great Plutarchan captain. + +Clemens, also recalling the interview, once added some interesting +details: + +"I asked Grant if he wouldn't write a word on a card which Howells could +carry to Washington and hand to the President. But, as usual, General +Grant was his natural self--that is to say, ready and determined to do a +great deal more for you than you could possibly ask him to do. He said +he was going to Washington in a couple of days to dine with the +President, and he would speak to him himself on the subject and make it a +personal matter. Grant was in the humor to talk--he was always in a +humor to talk when no strangers were present--he forced us to stay and +take luncheon in a private room, and continued to talk all the time. It +was baked beans, but how 'he sits and towers,' Howells said, quoting +Dame. Grant remembered 'Squibob' Derby (John Phoenix) at West Point very +well. He said that Derby was always drawing caricatures of the +professors and playing jokes on every body. He told a thing which I had +heard before but had never seen in print. A professor questioning a +class concerning certain particulars of a possible siege said, 'Suppose a +thousand men are besieging a fortress whose equipment of provisions is +so-and-so; it is a military axiom that at the end of forty-five days the +fort will surrender. Now, young men, if any of you were in command of +such a fortress, how would you proceed?' + +"Derby held up his hand in token that he had an answer for that question. +He said, 'I would march out, let the enemy in, and at the end of forty- +five days I would change places with him.' + +"I tried hard, during that interview, to get General Grant to agree to +write his personal memoirs for publication, but he wouldn't listen to the +suggestion. His inborn diffidence made him shrink from voluntarily +coming before the public and placing himself under criticism as an +author. He had no confidence in his ability to write well; whereas we +all know now that he possessed an admirable literary gift and style. He +was also sure that the book would have no sale, and of course that would +be a humility too. I argued that the book would have an enormous sale, +and that out of my experience I could save him from making unwise +contracts with publishers, and would have the contract arranged in such a +way that they could not swindle him, but he said he had no necessity for +any addition to his income. Of course he could not foresee that he was +camping on a volcano; that as Ward's partner he was a ruined man even +then, and of course I had no suspicion that in four years from that time +I would become his publisher. He would not agree to write his memoirs. +He only said that some day he would make very full notes and leave them +behind him, and then if his children chose to make them into a book they +could do so. We came away then. He fulfilled his promise entirely +concerning Howells's father, who held his office until he resigned of his +own accord." + + + + +CXXXVI + +"THE PRINCE AND THE PAUPER" + +During the summer absence alterations were made in the Hartford home, +with extensive decorations by Tiffany. The work was not completed when +the family returned. Clemens wrote to Charles Warren Stoddard, then in +the Sandwich Islands, that the place was full of carpenters and +decorators, whereas what they really needed was "an incendiary." + +If the house would only burn down we would pack up the cubs and fly to +the isles of the blest, and shut ourselves up in the healing solitudes of +the crater of Haleakala and get a good rest, for the mails do not intrude +there, nor yet the telephone and the telegraph; and after resting we +would come down the mountain a piece and board with a godly, breech- +clouted native, and eat poi and dirt, and give thanks to whom all thanks +belong for these privileges, and never housekeep any more. + +They had acquired more ground. One morning in the spring Mark Twain had +looked out of his window just in time to see a man lift an ax to cut down +a tree on the lot which lay between his own and that of his neighbor. He +had heard that a house was to be built there; altogether too close to him +for comfort and privacy. Leaning out of the window he called sonorously, +"Woodman, spare that tree!" Then he hurried down, obtained a stay of +proceedings, and without delay purchased the lot from the next-door +neighbor who owned it, acquiring thereby one hundred feet of extra ground +and a greenhouse which occupied it. It was a costly purchase; the owner +knew he could demand his own price; he asked and received twelve thousand +dollars for the strip. + +In November, Clemens found that he must make another trip to Canada. +'The Prince and the Pauper' was ready for issue, and to insure Canadian +copyright the author must cross the line in person. He did not enjoy the +prospect of a cold-weather trip to the north, and tried to tempt Howells +to go with him, but only succeeded in persuading Osgood, who would do +anything or go anywhere that offered the opportunity for pleasant company +and junket. + +It was by no means an unhappy fortnight. Clemens took a note-book, and +there are plenty of items that give reality to that long-ago excursion. +He found the Canadian girls so pretty that he records it as a relief now +and then to see a plain one. On another page he tells how one night in +the hotel a mouse gnawed and kept him awake, and how he got up and hunted +for it, hoping to destroy it. He made a rebus picture for the children +of this incident in a letter home. + +We get a glimpse just here of how he was constantly viewing himself as +literary material--human material--an example from which some literary +aspect or lesson may be drawn. Following the mouse adventure we find it +thus dramatized: + Trace Father Brebeuf all through this trip, and when I am in a rage + and can't endure the mouse be reading of Brebeuf's marvelous + endurances and be shamed. + + And finally, after chasing the bright-eyed rascal several days, and + throwing things and trying to jump on him when in my overshoes, he + darts away with those same bright eyes, then straightway I read + Brebeuf's magnificent martyrdom, and turn in, subdued and wondering. + By and by the thought occurs to me, Brebeuf, with his good, great + heart would spare even that poor humble mousie--and for his sake so + will I--I will throw the trap in the fire--jump out of bed, reach + under, fetch out the trap, and find him throttled there and not two + minutes dead. + +They gave him a dinner in Montreal. Louis Frechette, the Canadian poet, +was there and Clemens addressed him handsomely in the response he made to +the speech of welcome. From that moment Frechette never ceased to adore +Mark Twain, and visited him soon after the return to Hartford. + +'The Prince and the Pauper' was published in England, Canada, Germany, +and America early in December, 1881. There had been no stint of money, +and it was an extremely handsome book. The pen-and-ink drawings were +really charming, and they were lavish as to number. It was an attractive +volume from every standpoint, and it was properly dedicated "To those +good-mannered and agreeable children, Susy and Clara Clemens." + +The story itself was totally unlike anything that Mark Twain had done +before. Enough of its plan and purpose has been given in former chapters +to make a synopsis of it unnecessary here. The story of the wandering +prince and the pauper king--an impressive picture of ancient legal and +regal cruelty--is as fine and consistent a tale as exists in the realm of +pure romance. Unlike its great successor, the 'Yankee at King Arthur's +Court', it never sacrifices the illusion to the burlesque, while through +it all there runs a delicate vein of humor. Only here and there is there +the slightest disillusion, and this mainly in the use of some ultra- +modern phrase or word. + +Mark Twain never did any better writing than some of the splendid scenes +in 'The Prince and the Pauper'. The picture of Old London Bridge; the +scene in the vagabond's retreat, with its presentation to the little king +of the wrongs inflicted by the laws of his realm; the episode of the jail +where his revelation reaches a climax--these are but a few of the +splendid pictures which the chapters portray, while the spectacle of +England acquiring mercy at the hands of two children, a king and a +beggar, is one which only genius could create. One might quote here, but +to do so without the context would be to sacrifice atmosphere, half the +story's charm. How breathlessly interesting is the tale of it! We may +imagine that first little audience at Mark Twain's fireside hanging +expectant on every paragraph, hungry always for more. Of all Mark +Twain's longer works of fiction it is perhaps the most coherent as to +plot, the most carefully thought out, the most perfect as to workmanship. +This is not to say that it is his greatest story. Probably time will not +give it that rank, but it comes near to being a perfectly constructed +story, and it has an imperishable charm. + +It was well received, though not always understood by the public. The +reviewer was so accustomed to looking for the joke in Mark Twain's work, +that he found it hard to estimate this new product. Some even went so +far as to refer to it as one of Mark Twain's big jokes, meaning probably +that he had created a chapter in English history with no foundation +beyond his fancy. Of course these things pained the author of the book. +At one time, he had been inclined to publish it anonymously, to avert +this sort of misunderstanding, and sometimes now he regretted not having +done so. + +Yet there were many gratifying notices. The New York Herald reviewer +gave the new book two columns of finely intelligent appreciation. In +part he said: + + To those who have followed the career of Mark Twain, his appearance + as the author of a charming and noble romance is really no more of a + surprise than to see a stately structure risen upon sightly ground + owned by an architect of genius, with the resources of abundant + building material and ample training at command. Of his capacity + they have had no doubt, and they rejoice in his taking a step which + they felt he was able to take. Through all his publications may be + traced the marks of the path which half led up to this happy height. + His humor has often been the cloak, but not the mask, of a sturdy + purpose. His work has been characterized by a manly love of truth, + a hatred of humbug, and a scorn for cant. A genial warmth and + whole-souledness, a beautiful fancy, a fertile imagination, and a + native feeling for the picturesque and a fine eye for color have + afforded the basis of a style which has become more and more plastic + and finished. + +And in closing: + + The characters of these two boys, twins in spirit, will rank with + the purest and loveliest creations of child-life in the realm of + fiction. + + + + +CXXXVII + +CERTAIN ATTACKS AND REPRISALS + +Beyond the publication of The Prince and the Pauper Clemens was sparingly +represented in print in '81. A chapter originally intended for the book, +the "Whipping Boy's Story," he gave to the Bazaar Budget, a little +special-edition sheet printed in Hartford. It was the story of the 'Bull +and the Bees' which he later adapted for use in Joan of Arc, the episode +in which Joan's father rides a bull to a funeral. Howells found that it +interfered with the action in the story of the Prince, and we might have +spared it from the story of Joan, though hardly without regret. + +The military story "A Curious Episode" was published in the Century +Magazine for November. The fact that Clemens had heard, and not +invented, the story was set forth quite definitely and fully in his +opening paragraphs. Nevertheless, a "Captious Reader" thought it +necessary to write to a New York publication concerning its origin: + + I am an admirer of the writings of Mr. Mark Twain, and consequently, + when I saw the table of contents of the November number of the + Century, I bought it and turned at once to the article bearing his + name, and entitled, "A Curious Episode." When I began to read it, + it struck me as strangely familiar, and I soon recognized the story + as a true one, told me in the summer of 1878 by an officer of the + United States artillery. Query: Did Mr. Twain expect the public to + credit this narrative to his clever brain? + +The editor, seeing a chance for Mark Twain "copy," forwarded a clipping +to Clemens and asked him if he had anything to say in the matter. +Clemens happened to know the editor very well, and he did have something +to say, not for print, but for the editor's private ear. + + The newspaper custom of shooting a man in the back and then calling + upon him to come out in a card and prove that he was not engaged in + any infamy at the time is a good enough custom for those who think + it justifiable. Your correspondent is not stupid, I judge, but + purely and simply malicious. He knew there was not the shadow of a + suggestion, from the beginning to the end of "A Curious Episode," + that the story was an invention; he knew he had no warrant for + trying to persuade the public that I had stolen the narrative and + was endeavoring to palm it off as a piece of literary invention; he + also knew that he was asking his closing question with a base + motive, else he would have asked it of me by letter, not spread it + before the public. + + I have never wronged you in any way, and I think you had no right to + print that communication; no right, neither any excuse. As to + publicly answering that correspondent, I would as soon think of + bandying words in public with any other prostitute. + +The editor replied in a manly, frank acknowledgment of error. He had not +looked up the article itself in the Century before printing the +communication. + + "Your letter has taught me a lesson," he said. "The blame belongs + to me for not hunting up the proofs. Please accept my apology." + +Mark Twain was likely to be peculiarly sensitive to printed innuendos. +Not always. Sometimes he would only laugh at them or be wholly +indifferent. Indeed, in his later years, he seldom cared to read +anything about himself, one way or the other, but at the time of which we +are now writing--the period of the early eighties--he was alive to any +comment of the press. His strong sense of humor, and still stronger +sense of human weakness, caused him to overlook many things which another +might regard as an affront; but if the thing printed were merely an +uncalled-for slur, an inexcusable imputation, he was inclined to rage and +plan violence. Sometimes he conceived retribution in the form of libel +suits with heavy damages. Sometimes he wrote blasting answers, which +Mrs. Clemens would not let him print. + +At one time he planned a biography of a certain editor who seemed to be +making a deliberate personal campaign against his happiness. Clemens had +heard that offending items were being printed in this man's paper; +friends, reporting with customary exaggeration, declared that these +sneers and brutalities appeared almost daily, so often as to cause +general remark. + +This was enough. He promptly began to collect data--damaging data-- +relating to that editor's past history. He even set a man to work in +England collecting information concerning his victim. One of his +notebooks contains the memoranda; a few items will show how terrific was +to be the onslaught. + + When the naturalist finds a new kind of animal, he writes him up in + the interest of science. No matter if it is an unpleasant animal. + This is a new kind of animal, and in the cause of society must be + written up. He is the polecat of our species . . . . He is + purely and simply a Guiteau with the courage left out . . . . + + Steel portraits of him as a sort of idiot, from infancy up--to a + dozen scattered through the book--all should resemble him. + +But never mind the rest. When he had got thoroughly interested in his +project Mrs. Clemens, who had allowed the cyclone to wear itself out a +little with its own vehemence, suggested that perhaps it would be well to +have some one make an examination of the files of the paper and see just +what had been said of him. So he subscribed for the paper himself and +set a man to work on the back numbers. We will let him tell the +conclusion of the matter himself, in his report of it to Howells: + + The result arrived from my New York man this morning. Oh, what a + pitiable wreck of high hopes! The "almost daily" assaults for two + months consist of (1) adverse criticism of P. & P. from an enraged + idiot in the London Athenaeum, (2) paragraphs from some indignant + Englishman in the Pall Mall Gazette, who pays me the vast compliment + of gravely rebuking some imaginary ass who has set me up in the + neighborhood of Rabelais, (3) a remark about the Montreal dinner, + touched with an almost invisible satire, and, (4) a remark about + refusal of Canadian copyright, not complimentary, but not + necessarily malicious; and of course adverse criticism which is not + malicious is a thing which none but fools irritate themselves about. + + There, that is the prodigious bugaboo in its entirety! Can you + conceive of a man's getting himself into a sweat over so diminutive + a provocation? I am sure I can't. What the devil can those friends + of mine have been thinking about to spread those three or four + harmless things out into two months of daily sneers and affronts? + + Boiled down, this vast outpouring of malice amounts to simply this: + one jest (one can make nothing more serious than that out of it). + One jest, and that is all; for foreign criticisms do not count, they + being matters of news, and proper for publication in anybody's + newspaper . . . . + + Well, my mountain has brought forth its mouse, and a sufficiently + small mouse it is, God knows. And my three weeks' hard work has got + to go into the ignominious pigeonhole. Confound it, I could have + earned ten thousand dollars with infinitely less trouble. + +Howells refers to this episode, and concludes: + + So the paper was acquitted and the editor's life was spared. The + wretch never, never knew how near he was to losing it, with + incredible preliminaries of obloquy, and a subsequent devotion to + lasting infamy. + + + + +CXXXVIII + +MANY UNDERTAKINGS + +To write a detailed biography of Mark Twain at this period would be to +defy perusal. Even to set down all the interesting matters, interesting +to the public of his time, would mean not only to exhaust the subject, +but the reader. He lived at the top of his bent, and almost anything +relating to him was regarded as news. Daily and hourly he mingled with +important matters or spoke concerning them. A bare list of the +interesting events of Mark Twain's life would fill a large volume. + +He was so busy, so deeply interested himself, so vitally alive to every +human aspect. He read the papers through, and there was always enough to +arouse his indignation--the doings of the human race at large could be +relied upon to do that--and he would write, and write, to relieve +himself. His mental Niagara was always pouring away, turning out +articles, essays, communications on every conceivable subject, mainly +with the idea of reform. There were many public and private abuses, and +he wanted to correct them all. He covered reams of paper with lurid +heresies--political, religious, civic--for most of which there was no +hope of publication. + +Now and then he was allowed to speak out: An order from the Past-office +Department at Washington concerning the superscription of envelopes +seemed to him unwarranted. He assailed it, and directly the nation was +being entertained by a controversy between Mark Twain and the Postmaster- +General's private secretary, who subsequently receded from the field. +At another time, on the matter of postage rates he wrote a paper which +began: "Reader, suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member +of Congress. But I repeat myself." + +It is hardly necessary to add that the paper did not appear. + +On the whole, Clemens wrote his strictures more for relief than to print, +and such of these papers as are preserved to-day form a curious +collection of human documents. Many of them could be printed to-day, +without distress to any one. The conditions that invited them are +changed; the heresies are not heresies any more. He may have had some +thought of their publication in later years, for once he wrote: + + Sometimes my feelings are so hot that I have to take the pen and put + them out on paper to keep them from setting me afire inside; then + all that ink and labor are wasted because I can't print the result. + I have just finished an article of this kind, and it satisfies me + entirely. It does my weather-beaten soul good to read it, and + admire the trouble it would make for me and the family. I will + leave it behind and utter it from the grave. There is a free speech + there, and no harm to the family. + +It is too late and too soon to print most of these things; too late to +print them for their salutary influence, too soon to print them as +literature. + +He was interested in everything: in music, as little as he knew of it. +He had an ear for melody, a dramatic vision, and the poetic conception of +sound. Reading some lilting lyric, he could fancy the words marching to +melody, and would cast about among his friends for some one who could +supply a tuneful setting. Once he wrote to his friend the Rev. Dr. +Parker, who was a skilled musician, urging him to write a score for +Tennyson's "Bugle Song," outlining an attractive scheme for it which the +order of his fancy had formulated. Dr. Parker replied that the "Bugle +Song," often attempted, had been the despair of many musicians. + +He was interested in business affairs. Already, before the European +trip, he had embarked in, and disembarked from, a number of pecuniary +ventures. He had not been satisfied with a strictly literary income. +The old tendency to speculative investment, acquired during those +restless mining days, always possessed him. There were no silver mines +in the East, no holes in the ground into which to empty money and effort; +but there were plenty of equivalents--inventions, stock companies, and +the like. He had begun by putting five thousand dollars into the +American Publishing Company; but that was a sound and profitable venture, +and deserves to be remembered for that reason. + +Then a man came along with a patent steam generator which would save +ninety per cent. of the fuel energy, or some such amount, and Mark Twain +was early persuaded that it would revolutionize the steam manufactures of +the world; so he put in whatever bank surplus he had and bade it a +permanent good-by. + +Following the steam generator came a steam pulley, a rather small +contrivance, but it succeeded in extracting thirty-two thousand dollars +from his bank account in a period of sixteen months. + +By the time he had accumulated a fresh balance, a new method of marine +telegraphy was shown him, so he used it up on that, twenty-five thousand +dollars being the price of this adventure. + +A watch company in western New York was ready to sell him a block of +shares by the time he was prepared to experiment again, but it did not +quite live to declare the first dividend on his investment. + +Senator John P. Jones invited him to join in the organization of an +accident insurance company, and such was Jones's confidence in the +venture that he guaranteed Clemens against loss. Mark Twain's only +profit from this source was in the delivery of a delicious speech, which +he made at a dinner given to Cornelius Walford, of London, an insurance +author of repute. Jones was paying back the money presently, and about +that time came a young inventor named Graham Bell, offering stock in a +contrivance for carrying the human voice on an electric wire. At almost +any other time Clemens would eagerly have welcomed this opportunity; but +he was so gratified at having got his money out of the insurance venture +that he refused to respond to the happy "hello" call of fortune. In some +memoranda made thirty years later he said: + +I declined. I said I didn't want anything more to do with wildcat +speculation. Then he [Bell] offered the stock to me at twenty-five. I +said I didn't want it at any price. He became eager; insisted that I +take five hundred dollars' worth. He said he would sell me as much as I +wanted for five hundred dollars; offered to let me gather it up in my +hands and measure it in a plug hat; said I could have a whole hatful for +five hundred dollars. But I was the burnt child, and I resisted all +these temptations-resisted them easily; went off with my check intact, +and next day lent five thousand of it, on an unendorsed note, to a friend +who was going to go bankrupt three days later. + +About the end of the year I put up a telephone wire from my house down to +the Courant office, the only telephone wire in town, and the first one +that was ever used in a private house in the world. + +That had been only a little while before he sailed for Europe. When he +returned he would have been willing to accept a very trifling interest in +the telephone industry for the amount of his insurance salvage. + +He had a fresh interest in patents now, and when his old friend Dan Slote +got hold of a new process for engraving--the kaolatype or "chalk-plate" +process--which was going to revolutionize the world of illustration, he +promptly acquired a third interest, and eventually was satisfied with +nothing short of control. It was an ingenious process: a sheet of +perfectly smooth steel was coated with a preparation of kaolin (or china +clay), and a picture was engraved through the coating down to the steel +surface. This formed the matrix into which the molten metal was poured +to make the stereotype plate, or die, for printing. It was Clemens's +notion that he could utilize this process for the casting of brass dies +for stamping book covers--that, so applied, the fortunes to be made out +of it would be larger and more numerous. Howells tells how, at one time, +Clemens thought the "damned human race" was almost to be redeemed by a +process of founding brass without air-bubbles in it. This was the time +referred to and the race had to go unredeemed; for, after long, worried, +costly experimenting, the brass refused to accommodate its nature to the +new idea, while the chalk plate itself, with all its subsidiary and +auxiliary possibilities, was infringed upon right and left, and the +protecting patent failed to hold. The process was doomed, in any case. +It was barely established before the photographic etching processes, +superior in all ways, were developed and came quickly into use. The +kaolatype enterprise struggled nobly for a considerable period. Clemens +brought his niece's husband, young Charles L. Webster, from Fredonia to +manage it for him, and backed it liberally. Webster was vigorous, hard- +working, and capable; but the end of each month showed a deficit, until +Clemens was from forty to fifty thousand dollars out of pocket in his +effort to save the race with chalk and brass. The history of these +several ventures (and there were others), dismissed here in a few +paragraphs, would alone make a volume not without interest, certainly not +without humor. Following came the type-setting machine, but we are not +ready for that. Of necessity it is a longer, costlier story. + +Mrs. Clemens did not share his enthusiasm in these various enterprises. +She did not oppose them, at least not strenuously, but she did not +encourage them. She did not see their need. Their home was beautiful; +they were happy; he could do his work in deliberation and comfort. She +knew the value of money better than he, cared more for it in her own way; +but she had not his desire to heap up vast and sudden sums, to revel in +torrential golden showers. She was willing to let well enough alone. +Clemens could not do this, and suffered accordingly. In the midst of +fair home surroundings and honors we find him writing to his mother: + + Life has come to be a very serious matter with me. I have a + badgered, harassed feeling a good part of my time. It comes mainly + from business responsibilities and annoyances. + +He had no moral right to be connected with business at all. He had a +large perception of business opportunity, but no vision of its +requirements--its difficulties and details. He was the soul of honor, +but in anything resembling practical direction he was but a child. +During any period of business venture he was likely to be in hot water: +eagerly excited, worried, impatient; alternately suspicious and over- +trusting, rash, frenzied, and altogether upset. + +Yet never, even to the end of his days, would he permanently lose faith +in speculative ventures. Human traits are sometimes modified, but never +eliminated. The man who is born to be a victim of misplaced confidence +will continue to be one so long as he lives and there are men willing to +victimize him. The man who believes in himself as an investor will +uphold that faith against all disaster so long as he draws breath and has +money to back his judgments. + + + + +CXXXIX + +FINANCIAL AND LITERARY + +By a statement made on the 1st of January, 1882, of Mark Twain's +disbursements for the preceding year, it is shown that considerably more +than one hundred thousand dollars had been expended during that twelve +months. It is a large sum for an author to pay out in one year. It +would cramp most authors to do it, and it was not the best financing, +even for Mark Twain. It required all that the books could earn, all the +income from the various securities, and a fair sum from their principal. +There is a good deal of biography in the statement. Of the amount +expended forty-six thousand dollars represented investments; but of this +comfortable sum less than five thousand dollars would cover the +legitimate purchases; the rest had gone in the "ventures" from whose +bourne no dollar would ever return. Also, a large sum had been spent for +the additional land and for improvements on the home--somewhat more than +thirty thousand dollars altogether--while the home life had become more +lavish, the establishment had grown each year to a larger scale, the +guests and entertainments had become more and, more numerous, until the +actual household expenditure required about as much as the books and +securities could earn. + +It was with the increased scale of living that Clemens had become +especially eager for some source of commercial profit; something that +would yield a return, not in paltry thousands, but hundreds of thousands. +Like Colonel Sellers, he must have something with "millions in it." +Almost any proposition that seemed to offer these possible millions +appealed to him, and in his imagination he saw the golden freshet pouring +in. + +His natural taste was for a simple, inexpensive life; yet in his large +hospitality, and in a certain boyish love of grandeur, he gloried in the +splendor of his entertainment, the admiration and delight of his guests. +There were always guests; they were coming and going constantly. Clemens +used to say that he proposed to establish a bus line between their house +and the station for the accommodation of his company. He had the +Southern hospitality. Much company appealed to a very large element in +his strangely compounded nature. For the better portion of the year he +was willing to pay the price of it, whether in money or in endurance, and +Mrs. Clemens heroically did her part. She loved these things also, in +her own way. She took pride in them, and realized that they were a part +of his vast success. Yet in her heart she often longed for the simpler +life--above all, for the farm life at Elmira. Her spirit cried out for +the rest and comfort there. In one of her letters she says: + The house has been full of company, and I have been "whirled + around." How can a body help it? Oh, I cannot help sighing for the + peace and quiet of the farm. This is my work, and I know that I do + very wrong when I feel chafed by it, but how can I be right about + it? Sometimes it seems as if the simple sight of people would drive + me mad. I am all wrong; if I would simply accept the fact that this + is my work and let other things go, I know I should not be so + fretted; but I want so much to do other things, to study and do + things with the children, and I cannot. + + I have the best French teacher that I ever had, and if I could give + any time to it I could not help learning French. + +When we reflect on the conditions, we are inclined to say how much better +it would have been to have remained there among the hills in that quiet, +inexpensive environment, to have let the world go. But that was not +possible. The game was of far larger proportions than any that could be +restricted to the limits of retirement and the simpler round of life. +Mark Twain's realm had become too large for his court to be established +in a cottage. + +It is hard to understand that in spite of a towering fame Mark Twain was +still not regarded by certain American arbiters of reputations as a +literary fixture; his work was not yet recognized by them as being of +important meaning and serious purport. + +In Boston, at that time still the Athens of America, he was enjoyed, +delighted in; but he was not honored as being quite one of the elect. +Howells tells us that: + + In proportion as people thought themselves refined they questioned + that quality which all recognize in him now, but which was then the + inspired knowledge of the simple-hearted multitude. + +Even at the Atlantic dinners his place was "below the salt"--a place of +honor, but not of the greatest honor. He did not sit on the dais with +Emerson, Longfellow, Holmes, Whittier, Howells, and Aldrich. We of a +later period, who remember him always as the center of every board--the +one supreme figure, his splendid head and crown of silver hair the target +of every eye-find it hard to realize the Cambridge conservatism that clad +him figuratively always in motley, and seated him lower than the throne +itself. + +Howells clearly resented this condition, and from random review corners +had ventured heresy. Now in 1882 he seems to have determined to declare +himself, in a large, free way, concerning his own personal estimate of +Mark Twain. He prepared for the Century Magazine a biographical +appreciation, in which he served notice to the world that Mark Twain's +work, considered even as literature, was of very considerable importance +indeed. Whether or not Howells then realized the "inspired knowledge of +the multitude," and that most of the nation outside of the counties of +Suffolk and Essex already recognized his claim, is not material. Very +likely he did; but he also realized the mental dusk of the cultured +uninspired and his prerogative to enlighten them. His Century article +was a kind of manifesto, a declaration of independence, no longer +confined to the obscurities of certain book notices, where of course one +might be expected to stretch friendly favor a little for a popular +Atlantic contributor. In the open field of the Century Magazine Howells +ventured to declare: + + Mark Twain's humor is as simple in form and as direct as the + statesmanship of Lincoln or the generalship of Grant. + + When I think how purely and wholly American it is I am a little + puzzled at its universal acceptance . . . . Why, in fine, should + an English chief-justice keep Mark Twain's books always at hand? + Why should Darwin have gone to them for rest and refreshment at + midnight, when spent with scientific research? + + I suppose that Mark Twain transcends all other American humorists in + the universal qualities. He deals very little with the pathetic, + which he nevertheless knows very well how to manage, as he has + shown, notably in the true story of the old slave-mother; but there + is a poetic lift in his work, even when he permits you to recognize + it only as something satirized. There is always the touch of + nature, the presence of a sincere and frank manliness in what he + says, the companionship of a spirit which is at once delightfully + open and deliciously shrewd. Elsewhere I have tried to persuade the + reader that his humor is, at its best, the foamy break of the strong + tide of earnestness in him. But it would be limiting him unjustly + to describe him as a satirist, and it is hardly practicable to + establish him in people's minds as a moralist; he has made them + laugh too long; they will not believe him serious; they think some + joke is always intended. This is the penalty, as Dr. Holmes has + pointed out, of making one's first success as a humorist. There was + a paper of Mark Twain's printed in the Atlantic Monthly some years + ago and called, "The Facts Concerning the Late Carnival of Crime in + Connecticut," which ought to have won popular recognition of the + ethical intelligence underlying his humor. It was, of course, + funny; but under the fun it was an impassioned study of the human + conscience. Hawthorne or Bunyan might have been proud to imagine + that powerful allegory, which had a grotesque force far beyond + either of them.... Yet it quite failed of the response I had hoped + for it, and I shall not insist here upon Mark Twain as a moralist; + though I warn the reader that if he leaves out of the account an + indignant sense of right and wrong, a scorn of all affectations and + pretense, an ardent hate of meanness and injustice, he will come + infinitely short of knowing Mark Twain. + +Howells realized the unwisdom and weakness of dogmatic insistence, and +the strength of understatement. To him Mark Twain was already the +moralist, the philosopher, and the statesman; he was willing that the +reader should take his time to realize these things. The article, with +his subject's portrait as a frontispiece, appeared in the Century for +September, 1882. If it carried no new message to many of its readers, it +at least set the stamp of official approval upon what they had already +established in their hearts. + + + + +CXL + +DOWN THE RIVER + +Osgood was doing no great things with The Prince and the Pauper, but +Clemens gave him another book presently, a collection of sketches--The +Stolen White Elephant. It was not an especially important volume, though +some of the features, such as "Mrs. McWilliams and the Lightning" and the +"Carnival of Crime," are among the best of their sort, while the +"Elephant" story is an amazingly good take-off on what might be called +the spectacular detective. The interview between Inspector Blunt and the +owner of the elephant is typical. The inspector asks: + + "Now what does this elephant eat, and how much?" + + "Well, as to what he eats--he will eat anything. He will eat a man, + he will eat a Bible; he will eat anything between a man and a + Bible." + + "Good-very good, indeed, but too general. Details are necessary; + details are the only valuable thing in our trade. Very well, as to + men. At one meal--or, if you prefer, during one day--how many men + will he eat if fresh?" + + "He would not care whether they were fresh or not; at a single meal + he would eat five ordinary men." + + "Very good; five men. We will put that down. What nationalities + would he prefer?" + + "He is indifferent about nationalities. He prefers acquaintances, + but is not prejudiced against strangers." + + "Very good. Now, as to Bibles. How many Bibles would he eat at a + meal?" + + "He would eat an entire edition." + +Clemens and Osgood had a more important publishing enterprise on hand. +The long-deferred completion of the Mississippi book was to be +accomplished; the long-deferred trip down the river was to be taken. +Howells was going abroad, but the charming Osgood was willing to make the +excursion, and a young man named Roswell Phelps, of Hartford, was engaged +as a stenographer to take the notes. + +Clemens made a farewell trip to Boston to see Howells before his +departure, and together they went to Concord to call on Emerson; a +fortunate thing, for he lived but a few weeks longer. They went again in +the evening, not to see him, but to stand reverently outside and look at +his house. This was in April. Longfellow had died in March. The fact +that Howells was going away indefinitely, made them reminiscent and sad. + +Just what breach Clemens committed during this visit is not remembered +now, and it does not matter; but his letter to Howells, after his return +to Hartford, makes it pretty clear that it was memorable enough at the +time. Half-way in it he breaks out: + + But oh, hell, there is no hope for a person that is built like me, + because there is no cure, no cure. + + If I could only know when I have committed a crime: then I could + conceal it, and not go stupidly dribbling it out, circumstance by + circumstance, into the ears of a person who will give no sign till + the confession is complete; and then the sudden damnation drops on a + body like the released pile-driver, and he finds himself in the + earth down to his chin. When he merely supposed he was being + entertaining. + +Next day he was off with Osgood and the stenographer for St. Louis, where +they took the steamer Gold Dust down the river. He intended to travel +under an assumed name, but was promptly recognized, both at the Southern +Hotel and on the boat. In 'Life on the Mississippi' he has given us the +atmosphere of his trip, with his new impressions of old scenes; also his +first interview with the pilot, whom he did not remember, but who easily +remembered him. + +"I did not write that story in the book quite as it happened," he +reflected once, many years later. "We went on board at night. Next +morning I was up bright and early and out on deck to see if I could +recognize any of the old landmarks. I could not remember any. I did not +know where we were at all. It was a new river to me entirely. I climbed +up in the pilot-house and there was a fellow of about forty at the wheel. +I said 'Good morning.' He answered pleasantly enough. His face was +entirely strange to me. Then I sat down on the high seat back of the +wheel and looked out at the river and began to ask a few questions, such +as a landsman would ask. He began, in the old way, to fill me up with +the old lies, and I enjoyed letting him do it. Then suddenly he turned +round to me and said: + +"'I want to get a cup of coffee. You hold her, will you, till I come +back?' And before I could say a word he was out of the pilot-house door +and down the steps. It all came so suddenly that I sprang to the wheel, +of course, as I would have done twenty years before. Then in a moment I +realized my position. Here I was with a great big steamboat in the +middle of the Mississippi River, without any further knowledge than that +fact, and the pilot out of sight. I settled my mind on three +conclusions: first, that the pilot might be a lunatic; second, that he +had recognized me and thought I knew the river; third, that we were in a +perfectly safe place, where I could not possibly kill the steamboat. But +that last conclusion, though the most comforting, was an extremely +doubtful one. I knew perfectly well that no sane pilot would trust his +steamboat for a single moment in the hands of a greenhorn unless he were +standing by the greenhorn's side. Of course, by force of habit, when I +grabbed the wheel, I had taken the steering marks ahead and astern, and I +made up my mind to hold her on those marks to the hair; but I could feel +myself getting old and gray. Then all at once I recognized where we +were; we were in what is called the Grand Chain--a succession of hidden +rocks, one of the most dangerous places on the river. There were two +rocks there only about seventy feet apart, and you've got to go exactly +between them or wreck the boat. There was a time when I could have done +it without a tremor, but that time wasn't now. I would have given any +reasonable sum to have been on the shore just at that moment. I think I +was about ready to drop dead when I heard a step on the pilothouse stair; +then the door opened and the pilot came in, quietly picking his teeth, +and took the wheel, and I crawled weakly back to the seat. He said: + +"'You thought you were playing a nice joke on me, didn't you? You +thought I didn't know who you were. Why, I recognized that drawl of +yours as soon as you opened your mouth.' + +"I said, 'Who the h--l are you? I don't remember you.' + +"'Well,' he said, 'perhaps you don't, but I was a cub pilot on the +river before the war, when you were a licensed pilot, and I couldn't get +a license when I was qualified for one, because the Pilots' Association +was so strong at that time that they could keep new pilots out if they +wanted to, and the law was that I had to be examined by two licensed +pilots, and for a good while I could not get any one to make that +examination. But one day you and another pilot offered to do it, and you +put me through a good, healthy examination and indorsed my application +for a license. I had never seen you before, and I have never seen you +since until now, but I recognized you.' + +"'All right,' I said. 'But if I had gone half a mile farther with that +steamboat we might have all been at the bottom of the river.' + +"We got to be good friends, of course, and I spent most of my time up +there with him. When we got down below Cairo, and there was a big, full +river--for it was highwater season and there was no danger of the boat +hitting anything so long as she kept in the river--I had her most of the +time on his watch. He would lie down and sleep, and leave me there to +dream that the years had not slipped away; that there had been no war, no +mining days, no literary adventures; that I was still a pilot, happy and +care-free as I had been twenty years before." + +From the book we gather that he could not keep out of the pilot-house. +He was likely to get up at any hour of the night to stand his watch, and +truly enough the years had slipped away. He was the young fellow in his +twenties again, speculating on the problems of existence and reading his +fortune in the stars. To heighten the illusion, he had himself called +regularly with the four-o'clock watch, in order not to miss the mornings. +--[It will repay the reader to turn to chap. xxx of Life on the +Mississippi, and consider Mark Twain's word-picture of the river +sunrise.] + +The majesty and solitude of the river impressed him more than ever +before, especially its solitude. It had been so full of life in his +time; now it had returned once more to its primal loneliness--the +loneliness of God. + +At one place two steamboats were in sight at once an unusual spectacle. +Once, in the mouth of a river, he noticed a small boat, which he made out +to be the Mark Twain. There had been varied changes in twenty-one years; +only the old fascination of piloting remained unchanged. To Bixby +afterward he wrote: + +"I'd rather be a pilot than anything else I've ever done in my life. How +do you run Plum Point?" + +He met Bixby at New Orleans. Bixby was captain now on a splendid new +Anchor Line steamboat, the City of Baton Rouge. The Anchor Line steamers +were the acme of Mississippi River steamboat-building, and they were +about the end of it. They were imposingly magnificent, but they were +only as gorgeous clouds that marked the sunset of Mississippi steamboat +travel. Mark Twain made his trip down the river just in time. + +In New Orleans he met George W. Cable and Joel Chandler Harris, and they +had a fraternizing good time together, mousing about the old French +Quarter or mingling with the social life of the modern city. He made a +trip with Bixby in a tug to the Warmouth plantation, and they reviewed +old days together, as friends parted for twenty-one years will. +Altogether the New Orleans sojourn was a pleasant one, saddened only by a +newspaper notice of the death, in Edinburgh, of the kindly and gentle and +beloved Dr. Brown. + +Clemens arranged to make the trip up the river on the Baton Rouge. Bixby +had one pretty inefficient pilot, and stood most of the watches himself, +so that with "Sam Clemens" in the pilot-house with him, it was +wonderfully like those old first days of learning the river, back in the +fifties. + +"Sam was ever making notes in his memorandum-book, just as he always +did," said Bixby to the writer, recalling the time. "I was sorry I had +to stay at the wheel so much. I wanted to have more time with Sam +without thinking of the river at all. Sam was sorry, too, from what he +wrote after he got home." + +Bixby produced a letter in the familiar handwriting. It was a tender, +heart-spoken letter: + + I didn't see half enough of you. It was a sore disappointment. + Osgood could have told you, if he would--discreet old dog--I + expected to have you with me all the time. Altogether, the most + pleasant part of my visit with you was after we arrived in St. + Louis, and you were your old natural self again. Twenty years have + not added a month to your age or taken a fraction from your + loveliness. + +Said Bixby: "When we arrived in St. Louis we came to the Planters' Hotel; +to this very table where you and I are sitting now, and we had a couple +of hot Scotches between us, just as we have now, and we had a good last +talk over old times and old acquaintances. After he returned to New York +he sent for my picture. He wanted to use it in his book." + +At St. Louis the travelers changed boats, and proceeded up the +Mississippi toward St. Paul. Clemens laid off three days at Hannibal. + +Delightful days [he wrote home]. Loitering around all day long, +examining the old localities, and talking with the gray heads who were +boys and girls with me thirty or forty years ago. I spent my nights with +John and Helen Garth, three miles from town, in their spacious and +beautiful house. They were children with me, and afterward schoolmates. +That world which I knew in its blooming youth is old and bowed and +melancholy now; its soft cheeks are leathery and withered, the fire has +gone out of its eyes, the spring from its step. It will be dust and +ashes when I come again. + +He had never seen the far upper river, and he found it very satisfying. +His note-book says: + + The bluffs all along up above St. Paul are exquisitely beautiful + where the rough and broken turreted rocks stand up against the sky + above the steep, verdant slopes. They are inexpressibly rich and + mellow in color; soft dark browns mingled with dull greens--the very + tints to make an artist worship. + +In a final entry he wrote: + +The romance of boating is gone now. In Hannibal the steamboat man is no +longer the god. + + + + +CXLI + +LITERATURE AND PHILOSOPHY + +Clemens took a further step toward becoming a publisher on his own +account. Not only did he contract to supply funds for the Mississippi +book, but, as kaolatype, the chalk-engraving process, which had been +lingeringly and expensively dying, was now become merely something to +swear at, he had his niece's husband, Webster, installed as Osgood's New +York subscription manager, with charge of the general agencies. There +was no delay in this move. Webster must get well familiarized with the +work before the Mississippi book's publication. + +He had expected to have the manuscript finished pretty promptly, but the +fact that he had promised it for a certain time paralyzed his effort. +Even at the farm he worked without making much headway. At the end of +October he wrote Howells: + + The weather turned cold, and we had to rush home, while I still + lacked thirty thousand words. I had been sick and got delayed. I + am going to write all day and two-thirds of the night until the + thing is done or break down at it. The spur and burden of the + contract are intolerable to me. I can endure the irritation of it + no longer. I went to work at nine o'clock yesterday morning and + went to bed an hour after midnight. Result of the day (mainly + stolen from books though credit given), 9,500 words, so I reduced my + burden by one-third in one day. It was five days' work in one. I + have nothing more to borrow or steal; the rest must all be written. + It is ten days' work and unless something breaks it will be finished + in five. + +He had sworn once, when he had finally finished 'A Tramp Abroad', that he +would never limit himself as to time again. But he had forgotten that +vow, and was suffering accordingly. + +Howells wrote from London urging him to drop everything and come over to +Europe for refreshment. + + We have seen lots of nice people, and have been most pleasantly made + of; but I would rather have you smoke in my face and talk for half a + day, just for pleasure, than to go to the best house or club in + London. + +Clemens answered: + + Yes, it would be more profitable to me to do that because, with your + society to help me, I should swiftly finish this now apparently + interminable book. But I cannot come, because I am not boss here, + and nothing but dynamite can move Mrs. Clemens away from home in the + winter season. + +This was in November, and he had broken all restrictions as to time. He +declared that he had never had such a fight over any book before, and +that he had told Osgood and everybody concerned that they must wait. + + I have said with sufficient positiveness that I will finish the book + at no particular date; that I will not hurry it; that I will not + hurry myself; that I will take things easy and comfortably--write + when I choose to write, leave it alone when I do so prefer . . . + I have got everything at a dead standstill, and that is where it + ought to be, and that is where it must remain; to follow any other + policy would be to make the book worse than it already is. I ought + to have finished it before showing it to anybody, and then sent it + across the ocean to you to be edited, as usual; for you seem to be a + great many shades happier than you deserve to be, and if I had + thought of this thing earlier I would have acted upon it and taken + the tuck somewhat out of your joyousness. + +It was a long, heartfelt letter. Near the end of it he said: + + Cable has been here, creating worshipers on all hands. He is a + marvelous talker on a deep subject. I do not see how even Spencer + could unwind a thought more smoothly or orderly, and do it in + cleaner, clearer, crisper English. He astounded Twichell with his + faculty. You know that when it comes down to moral honesty, limpid + innocence, and utterly blemishless piety, the apostles were mere + policemen to Cable; so with this in mind you must imagine him at a + midnight dinner in Boston the other night, where we gathered around + the board of the Summerset Club: Osgood full, Boyle O'Reilly full, + Fairchild responsively loaded, and Aldrich and myself possessing the + floor and properly fortified. Cable told Mrs. Clemens, when he + returned here, that he seemed to have been entertaining himself with + horses, and had a dreamy idea that he must have gone to Boston in a + cattle-car. It was a very large time. He called it an orgy. And + no doubt it was, viewed from his standpoint. + +Osgood wanted Mark Twain to lecture that fall, as preliminary advertising +for the book, with "Life on the Mississippi" as his subject. Osgood was +careful to make this proposition by mail, and probably it was just as +well; for if there was any single straw that could have broken the back +of Clemens's endurance and made him violent at this particular time, it +was a proposition to go back on the platform. His answer to Osgood has +not been preserved. + +Clemens spoke little that winter. In February he addressed the Monday +Evening Club on "What is Happiness?" presenting a theory which in later +years he developed as a part of his "gospel," and promulgated in a +privately printed volume, 'What is Man'? It is the postulate already +mentioned in connection with his reading of Lecky, that every human +action, bad or good, is the result of a selfish impulse; that is to say, +the result of a desire for the greater content of spirit. It is not a +new idea; philosophers in all ages have considered it, and accepted or +rejected it, according to their temperament and teachings, but it was +startling and apparently new to the Monday Evening Club. They scoffed +and jeered at it; denounced it as a manifest falsity. They did not quite +see then that there may be two sorts of selfishness--brutal and divine; +that he who sacrifices others to himself exemplifies the first, whereas +he who sacrifices himself for others personifies the second--the divine +contenting of his soul by serving the happiness of his fellow-men. Mark +Twain left this admonition in furtherance of that better sort: + +"Diligently train your ideals upward, and still upward, toward a summit +where you will find your chiefest pleasure, in conduct which, while +contenting you, will be sure to confer benefits upon your neighbor and +the community." + +It is a divine admonition, even if, in its suggested moral freedom, it +does seem to conflict with that other theorythe inevitable sequence of +cause and effect, descending from the primal atom. There is seeming +irrelevance in introducing this matter here; but it has a chronological +relation, and it presents a mental aspect of the time. Clemens was +forty-eight, and becoming more and more the philosopher; also, in logic +at least, a good deal of a pessimist. He made a birthday aphorism on the +subject: + +"The man who is a pessimist before he is forty-eight knows too much; the +man who is an optimist after he is forty-eight knows too little." + +He was never more than a pessimist in theory at any time. In practice he +would be a visionary; a builder of dreams and fortunes, a veritable +Colonel Sellers to the end of his days. + + + + +CXLII + +"LIFE ON THE MISSISSIPPI" + +The Mississippi book was completed at last and placed in Osgood's hands +for publication. Clemens was immensely fond of Osgood. Osgood would +come down to Hartford and spend days discussing plans and playing +billiards, which to Mark Twain's mind was the proper way to conduct +business. Besides, there was Webster, who by this time, or a very little +later, had the word "publisher" printed in his letter-heads, and was +truly that, so far as the new book was concerned. Osgood had become +little more than its manufacturer, shipping-agent, and accountant. It +should be added that he made the book well, though somewhat expensively. +He was unaccustomed to getting out big subscription volumes. His taste +ran to the artistic, expensive product. + +"That book cost me fifty thousand dollars to make," Clemens once +declared. "Bliss could have built a whole library, for that sum. But +Osgood was a lovely fellow." + +Life on the Mississippi was issued about the middle of May. It was a +handsome book of its kind and a successful book, but not immediately a +profitable one, because of the manner of its issue. It was experimental, +and experiments are likely to be costly, even when successful in the +final result. + +Among other things, it pronounced the final doom of kaolatype. The +artists who drew the pictures for it declined to draw them if they were +to be reproduced by that process, or indeed unless some one of the lately +discovered photographic processes was used. Furthermore, the latter were +much cheaper, and it was to the advantage of Clemens himself to repudiate +kaolatype, even for his own work. + +Webster was ordered to wind up the last ends of the engraving business +with as little sacrifice as possible, and attend entirely to more +profitable affairs--viz., the distribution of books. + +As literature, the Mississippi book will rank with Mark Twain's best--so +far, at least, as the first twenty chapters of it are concerned. Earlier +in this history these have been sufficiently commented upon. They +constitute a literary memorial seemingly as enduring as the river itself. + +Concerning the remaining chapters of the book, they are also literature, +but of a different class. The difference is about the same as that +between 'A Tramp Abroad' and the 'Innocents'. It is the difference +between the labors of love and duty; between art and industry, literature +and journalism. + +But the last is hardly fair. It is journalism, but it is literary +journalism, and there are unquestionably areas that are purely literary, +and not journalistic at all. There would always be those in any book of +travel he might write. The story of the river revisited is an +interesting theme; and if the revisiting had been done, let us say eight +or ten years earlier, before he had become a theoretical pessimist, and +before the river itself had become a background for pessimism, the tale +might have had more of the literary glamour and illusion, even if less +that is otherwise valuable. + +'Life on the Mississippi' has been always popular in Germany. The +Emperor William of Germany once assured Mark Twain that it was his +favorite American book, and on the same evening the portier of the +author's lodging in Berlin echoed the Emperor's opinion. + +Paul Lindau, a distinguished German author and critic, in an interview at +the time the Mississippi book appeared, spoke of the general delight of +his countrymen in its author. When he was asked, "But have not the +Germans been offended by Mark Twain's strictures on their customs and +language in his Tramp Abroadf" he replied, "We know what we are and how +we look, and the fanciful picture presented to our eyes gives us only +food for laughter, not cause for resentment. The jokes he made on our +long words, our inverted sentences, and the position of the verb have +really led to a reform in style which will end in making our language as +compact and crisp as the French or English. I regard Mark Twain as the +foremost humorist of the age." + +Howells, traveling through Europe, found Lindau's final sentiment echoed +elsewhere, and he found something more: in Europe Mark Twain was already +highly regarded as a serious writer. Thomas Hardy said to Howells one +night at dinner: + +"Why don't people understand that Mark Twain is not merely a great +humorist? He is a very remarkable fellow in a very different way." + +The Rev. Dr. Parker, returning from England just then, declared that, +wherever he went among literary people, the talk was about Mark Twain; +also that on two occasions, when he had ventured diffidently to say that +he knew that author personally, he was at once so evidently regarded as +lying for effect that he felt guilty, and looked it, and did not venture +to say it any more; thus, in a manner, practising untruth to save his +reputation for veracity. + +That the Mississippi book throughout did much to solidify this foreign +opinion of Mark Twain's literary importance cannot be doubted, and it is +one of his books that will live longest in the memory of men. + + + + +CXLIII + +A GUEST OF ROYALTY + +For purposes of copyright another trip to Canada was necessary, and when +the newspapers announced (May, 1883) that Mark Twain was about to cross +the border there came one morning the following telegram: + + Meeting of Literary and Scientific Society at Ottawa from 22d to + 26th. It would give me much pleasure if you could come and be my + guest during that time. + + LORNE. + + +The Marquis of Lorne, then Governor-General of Canada, was the husband of +Queen Victoria's daughter, the Princess Louise. The invitation was +therefore in the nature of a command. Clemens obeyed it graciously +enough, and with a feeling of exaltation no doubt. He had been honored +by the noble and the great in many lands, but this was royalty--English +royalty--paying a tribute to an American writer whom neither the Marquis +nor the Princess, his wife, had ever seen. They had invited him because +they had cared enough for his books to make them wish to see him, to have +him as a guest in Rideau Hall, their home. Mark Twain was democratic. +A king to him was no more than any other man; rather less if he were not +a good king. But there was something national in this tribute; and, +besides, Lord Lorne and the Princess Louise were the kind of sovereigns +that honored their rank, instead of being honored by it. + +It is a good deal like a fairy tale when you think of it; the barefooted +boy of Hannibal, who had become a printer, a pilot, a rough-handed miner, +being summoned, not so many years later, by royalty as one of America's +foremost men of letters. The honor was no greater than many others he +had received, certainly not greater than the calls of Canon Kingsley and +Robert Browning and Turgenieff at his London hotel lodgings, but it was +of a less usual kind. + +Clemens enjoyed his visit. Princess Louise and the Marquis of Lorne kept +him with them almost continually, and were loath to let him go. Once +they took him tobogganing--an exciting experience. + +It happened that during his stay with them the opening of the Canadian +Parliament took place. Lord Lorne and the principal dignitaries of state +entered one carriage, and in a carriage behind them followed Princess +Louise with Mark Twain. As they approached the Parliament House the +customary salute was fired. Clemens pretended to the Princess +considerable gratification. The temptation was too strong to resist: + + "Your Highness," he said, "I have had other compliments paid to me, + but none equal to this one. I have never before had a salute fired + in my honor." + +Returning to Hartford, he sent copies of his books to Lord Lorne, and to +the Princess a special copy of that absurd manual, The New Guide of the +Conversation in Portuguese and English, for which he had written an +introduction.--[A serious work, in Portugal, though issued by Osgood +('83) as a joke. Clemens in the introduction says: "Its delicious, +unconscious ridiculousness and its enchanting naivety are as supreme and +unapproachable in their way as Shakespeare's sublimities." An extract, +the closing paragraph from the book's preface, will illustrate his +meaning: + +"We expect then, who the little book (for the care that we wrote him, and +for her typographical correction), that maybe worth the acceptation of +the studious persons, and especially of the Youth, at which we dedicate +him particularly."] + + + + +CXLIV + +A SUMMER LITERARY HARVEST + +Arriving at the farm in June, Clemens had a fresh crop of ideas for +stories of many lengths and varieties. His note-book of that time is +full of motifs and plots, most of them of that improbable and extravagant +kind which tended to defeat any literary purpose, whether humorous or +otherwise. It seems worth while setting down one or more of these here, +for they are characteristic of the myriad conceptions that came and went, +and beyond these written memoranda left no trace behind. Here is a fair +example of many: + + Two men starving on a raft. The pauper has a Boston cracker, + resolves to keep it till the multimillionaire is beginning to + starve, then make him pay $50,000 for it. Millionaire agrees. + Pauper's cupidity rises, resolves to wait and get more; twenty-four + hours later asks him a million for the cracker. Millionaire agrees. + Pauper has a wild dream of becoming enormously rich off his cracker; + backs down; lies all night building castles in the air; next day + raises his price higher and higher, till millionaire has offered + $100,000,000, every cent he has in the world. Pauper accepts. + Millionaire: "Now give it to me." + + Pauper: "No; it isn't a trade until you sign documental history of + the transaction and make an oath to pay." + + While pauper is finishing the document millionaire sees a ship. + When pauper says, "Sign and take the cracker," millionaire smiles a + smile, declines, and points to the ship. + +Yet this is hardly more extravagant than another idea that is mentioned +repeatedly among the notes--that of an otherwise penniless man wandering +about London with a single million-pound bank-note in his possession, a +motif which developed into a very good story indeed. + + + IDEA FOR "STORMFIELD'S VISIT TO HEAVEN" + + In modern times the halls of heaven are warmed by registers + connected with hell; and this is greatly applauded by Jonathan + Edwards, Calvin, Baxter and Company, because it adds a new pang to + the sinner's sufferings to know that the very fire which tortures + him is the means of making the righteous comfortable. + +Then there was to be another story, in which the various characters were +to have a weird, pestilential nomenclature; such as "Lockjaw Harris," +"Influenza Smith," "Sinapism Davis," and a dozen or two more, a perfect +outbreak of disorders. + +Another--probably the inspiration of some very hot afternoon--was to +present life in the interior of an iceberg, where a colony would live for +a generation or two, drifting about in a vast circular current year after +year, subsisting on polar bears and other Arctic game. + +An idea which he followed out and completed was the 1002d Arabian Night, +in which Scheherazade continues her stories, until she finally talks the +Sultan to death. That was a humorous idea, certainly; but when Howells +came home and read it in the usual way he declared that, while the +opening was killingly funny, when he got into the story itself it seemed +to him that he was "made a fellow-sufferer with the Sultan from +Scheherazade's prolixity." + +"On the whole," he said, "it is not your best, nor your second best; but +all the way it skirts a certain kind of fun which you can't afford to +indulge in." + +And that was the truth. So the tale, neatly typewritten, retired to +seclusion, and there remains to this day. + +Clemens had one inspiration that summer which was not directly literary, +but historical, due to his familiarity with English dates. He wrote +Twichell: + + Day before yesterday, feeling not in condition for writing, I left + the study, but I couldn't hold in--had to do something; so I spent + eight hours in the sun with a yardstick, measuring off the reigns of + the English kings on the roads in these grounds, from William the + Conqueror to 1883, calculating to invent an open-air game which + shall fill the children's heads with dates without study. I give + each king's reign one foot of space to the year and drive one stake + in the ground to mark the beginning of each reign, and I make the + children call the stake by the king's name. You can stand in the + door and take a bird's-eye view of English monarchy, from the + Conqueror to Edward IV.; then you can turn and follow the road up + the hill to the study and beyond with an opera-glass, and bird's-eye + view the rest of it to 1883. + + You can mark the sharp difference in the length of reigns by the + varying distances of the stakes apart. You can see Richard II., two + feet; Oliver Cromwell, two feet; James II., three feet, and so on-- + and then big skips; pegs standing forty-five, forty-six, fifty, + fifty-six, and sixty feet apart (Elizabeth, Victoria, Edward III., + Henry III., and George III.). By the way, third's a lucky number + for length of days, isn't it? Yes, sir; by my scheme you get a + realizing notion of the time occupied by reigns. + + The reason it took me eight hours was because, with little Jean's + interrupting assistance, I had to measure from the Conquest to the + end of Henry VI. three times over, and besides I had to whittle out + all those pegs. + + I did a full day's work and a third over, yesterday, but was full of + my game after I went to bed trying to fit it for indoors. So I + didn't get to sleep till pretty late; but when I did go off I had + contrived a new way to play my history game with cards and a board. + +We may be sure the idea of the game would possess him, once it got a fair +start like that. He decided to save the human race that year with a +history game. When he had got the children fairly going and interested +in playing it, he adapted it to a cribbage-board, and spent his days and +nights working it out and perfecting it to a degree where the world at +large might learn all the facts of all the histories, not only without +effort, but with an actual hunger for chronology. He would have a game +not only of the English kings, but of the kings of every other nation; +likewise of great statesmen, vice-chancellors, churchmen, of celebrities +in every line. He would prepare a book to accompany these games. Each +game would contain one thousand facts, while the book would contain eight +thousand; it would be a veritable encyclopedia. He would organize clubs +throughout the United States for playing the game; prizes were to be +given. Experts would take it up. He foresaw a department in every +newspaper devoted to the game and its problems, instead of to chess and +whist and other useless diversions. He wrote to Orion, and set him to +work gathering facts and dates by the bushel. He wrote to Webster, sent +him a plan, and ordered him to apply for the patent without delay. +Patents must also be applied for abroad. With all nations playing this +great game, very likely it would produce millions in royalties; and so, +in the true Sellers fashion, the iridescent bubble was blown larger and +larger, until finally it blew up. The game on paper had become so large, +so elaborate, so intricate, that no one could play it. Yet the first +idea was a good one: the king stakes driven along the driveway and up the +hillside of Quarry Farm. The children enjoyed it, and played it through +many sweet summer afternoons. Once, in the days when he had grown old, +he wrote, remembering: + + Among the principal merits of the games which we played by help of + the pegs were these: that they had to be played in the open air, and + that they compelled brisk exercise. The peg of William the + Conqueror stood in front of the house; one could stand near the + Conqueror and have all English history skeletonized and landmarked + and mile-posted under his eye . . . . The eye has a good memory. + Many years have gone by and the pegs have disappeared, but I still + see them and each in its place; and no king's name falls upon my ear + without my seeing his pegs at once, and noticing just how many feet + of space he takes up along the road. + +It turned out an important literary year after all. In the Mississippi +book he had used a chapter from the story he had been working at from +time to time for a number of years, 'The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn'. +Reading over the manuscript now he found his interest in it sharp and +fresh, his inspiration renewed. The trip down the river had revived it. +The interest in the game became quiescent, and he set to work to finish +the story at a dead heat. + +To Howells, August 22 (1883), he wrote: + + I have written eight or nine hundred manuscript pages in such a + brief space of time that I mustn't name the number of days; I + shouldn't believe it myself, and of course couldn't expect you to. + I used to restrict myself to four and five hours a day and five days + in the week, but this time I have wrought from breakfast till 5.15 + P.M. six days in the week, and once or twice I smouched a Sunday + when the boss wasn't looking. Nothing is half so good as literature + hooked on Sunday, on the sly. + +He refers to the game, though rather indifferently. + + When I wrote you I thought I had it; whereas I was merely entering + upon the initiatory difficulties of it. I might have known it + wouldn't be an easy job or somebody would have invented a decent + historical game long ago--a thing which nobody has done. + +Notwithstanding the fact that he was working at Huck with enthusiasm, he +seems to have been in no hurry to revise it for publication, either as a +serial or as a book. But the fact that he persevered until Huck Finn at +last found complete utterance was of itself a sufficient matter for +congratulation. + + + + +CXLV + +HOWELLS AND CLEMENS WRITE A PLAY + +Before Howells went abroad Clemens had written: + + Now I think that the play for you to write would be one entitled, + "Colonel Mulberry Sellers in Age" (75), with Lafayette Hawkins (at + 50) still sticking to him and believing in him and calling him "My + lord." He [Sellers] is a specialist and a scientist in various + ways. Your refined people and purity of speech would make the best + possible background, and when you are done, I could take your + manuscript and rewrite the Colonel's speeches, and make him properly + extravagant, and I would let the play go to Raymond, and bind him up + with a contract that would give him the bellyache every time he read + it. Shall we think this over, or drop it as being nonsense? + +Howells, returned and settled in Boston once more, had revived an +interest in the play idea. He corresponded with Clemens concerning it +and agreed that the American Claimant, Leathers, should furnish the +initial impulse of the drama. + +They decided to revive Colonel Sellers and make him the heir; Colonel +Sellers in old age, more wildly extravagant than ever, with new schemes, +new patents, new methods of ameliorating the ills of mankind. + +Howells came down to Hartford from Boston full of enthusiasm. He found +Clemens with some ideas of the plan jotted down: certain effects and +situations which seemed to him amusing, but there was no general scheme +of action. Howells, telling of it, says: + + I felt authorized to make him observe that his scheme was as nearly + nothing as chaos could be. He agreed hilariously with me, and was + willing to let it stand in proof of his entire dramatic inability. + +Howells, in turn, proposed a plan which Clemens approved, and they set to +work. Howells could imitate Clemens's literary manner, and they had a +riotously jubilant fortnight working out their humors. Howells has told +about it in his book, and he once related it to the writer of this +memoir. He said: + +"Clemens took one scene and I another. We had loads and loads of fun +about it. We cracked our sides laughing over it as it went along. We +thought it mighty good, and I think to this day that it was mighty good. +We called the play 'Colonel Sellers.' We revived him. Clemens had a +notion of Sellers as a spiritual medium-there was a good deal of +excitement about spiritualism then; he also had a notion of Sellers +leading a women's temperance crusade. We conceived the idea of Sellers +wanting to try, in the presence of the audience, how a man felt who had +fallen, through drink. Sellers was to end with a sort of corkscrew +performance on the stage. He always wore a marvelous fire extinguisher, +one of his inventions, strapped on his back, so in any sudden emergency, +he could give proof of its effectiveness." + +In connection with the extinguisher, Howells provided Sellers with a pair +of wings, which Sellers declared would enable him to float around in any +altitude where the flames might break out. The extinguisher, was not to +be charged with water or any sort of liquid, but with Greek fire, on the +principle that like cures like; in other words, the building was to be +inoculated with Greek fire against the ordinary conflagration. Of course +the whole thing was as absurd as possible, and, reading the old +manuscript to-day, one is impressed with the roaring humor of some of the +scenes, and with the wild extravagance of the farce motive, not wholly +warranted by the previous character of Sellers, unless, indeed, he had +gone stark mad. It is, in fact, Sellers caricatured. The gentle, tender +side of Sellers--the best side--the side which Clemens and Howells +themselves cared for most, is not there. Chapter III of Mark Twain's +novel, The American Claimant, contains a scene between Colonel Sellers +and Washington Hawkins which presents the extravagance of the Colonel's +materialization scheme. It is a modified version of one of the scenes in +the play, and is as amusing and unoffending as any. + +The authors' rollicking joy in their work convinced them that they had +produced a masterpiece for which the public in general, and the actors in +particular, were waiting. Howells went back to Boston tired out, but +elate in the prospect of imminent fortune. + + + + +CXLVI + +DISTINGUISHED VISITORS + +Meantime, while Howells had been in Hartford working at the play with +Clemens, Matthew Arnold had arrived in Boston. On inquiring for Howells, +at his home, the visitor was told that he had gone to see Mark Twain. +Arnold was perhaps the only literary Englishman left who had not accepted +Mark Twain at his larger value. He seemed surprised and said: + +"Oh, but he doesn't like that sort of thing, does he?" + +To which Mrs. Howells replied: + +"He likes Mr. Clemens very much, and he thinks him one of the greatest +men he ever knew." + +Arnold proceeded to Hartford to lecture, and one night Howells and +Clemens went to meet him at a reception. Says Howells: + + While his hand laxly held mine in greeting I saw his eyes fixed + intensely on the other side of the room. "Who--who in the world is + that?" I looked and said, "Oh, that is Mark Twain." I do not + remember just how their instant encounter was contrived by Arnold's + wish; but I have the impression that they were not parted for long + during the evening, and the next night Arnold, as if still under the + glamour of that potent presence, was at Clemens's house. + +He came there to dine with the Twichells and the Rev. Dr. Edwin P. +Parker. Dr. Parker and Arnold left together, and, walking quietly +homeward, discussed the remarkable creature whose presence they had just +left. Clemens had been at his best that night--at his humorous best. He +had kept a perpetual gale of laughter going, with a string of comment and +anecdote of a kind which Twichell once declared the world had never +before seen and would never see again. Arnold seemed dazed by it, unable +to come out from under its influence. He repeated some of the things +Mark Twain had said; thoughtfully, as if trying to analyze their magic. +Then he asked solemnly: + +"And is he never serious?" + +And Dr. Parker as solemnly answered: + +"Mr. Arnold, he is the most serious man in the world." Dr. Parker, +recalling this incident, remembered also that Protap Chunder Mazoomdar, a +Hindoo Christian prelate of high rank, visited Hartford in 1883, and that +his one desire was to meet Mark Twain. In some memoranda of this visit +Dr. Parker has written: + + I said that Mark Twain was a friend of mine, and we would + immediately go to his house. He was all eagerness, and I perceived + that I had risen greatly in this most refined and cultivated + gentleman's estimation. Arriving at Mr. Clemens's residence, I + promptly sought a brief private interview with my friend for his + enlightenment concerning the distinguished visitor, after which they + were introduced and spent a long while together. In due time + Mazoomdar came forth with Mark's likeness and autograph, and as we + walked away his whole air and manner seemed to say, with Simeon of + old, "Lord, now lettest thou thy servant depart in peace!" + + + + +CXLVII + +THE FORTUNES OF A PLAY + +Howells is of the impression that the "Claimant" play had been offered to +other actors before Raymond was made aware of it; but there are letters +(to Webster) which indicate that Raymond was to see the play first, +though Clemens declares, in a letter of instruction, that he hopes +Raymond will not take it. Then he says: + + Why do I offer him the play at all? For these reasons: he plays + that character well; there are not thirty actors in the country who + can do it better; and, too, he has a sort of sentimental right to be + offered the piece, though no moral, or legal, or other kind of + right. + + Therefore we do offer it to him; but only once, not twice. Let us + have no hemming and hawing; make short, sharp work of the business. + I decline to have any correspondence with R. myself in any way. + +This was at the end of November, 1883, while the play was still being +revised. Negotiations with Raymond had already begun, though he does not +appear to have actually seen the play during that theatrical season, and +many and various were the attempts made to place it elsewhere; always +with one result--that each actor or manager, in the end, declared it to +be strictly a Raymond play. The thing was hanging fire for nearly a +year, altogether, while they were waiting on Raymond, who had a +profitable play, and was in no hurry for the recrudescence of Sellers. +Howells tells how he eventually took the manuscript to Raymond, whom he +found "in a mood of sweet reasonableness" at one of Osgood's luncheons. +Raymond said he could not do the play then, but was sure he would like it +for the coming season, and in any case would be glad to read it. + +In due time Raymond reported favorably on the play, at least so far as +the first act was concerned, but he objected to the materialization +feature and to Sellers as claimant for the English earldom. He asked +that these features be eliminated, or at least much ameliorated; but as +these constituted the backbone and purpose of the whole play, Clemens and +Howells decided that what was left would be hardly worth while. Raymond +finally agreed to try the play as it was in one of the larger towns-- +Howells thinks in Buffalo. A week later the manuscript came back to +Webster, who had general charge of the business negotiations, as indeed +he had of all Mark Twain's affairs at this time, and with it a brief +line: + + DEAR SIR,--I have just finished rereading the play, and am convinced + that in its present form it would not prove successful. I return + the manuscript by express to your address. + + Thanking you for your courtesy, I am, + + Yours truly, JOHN T. RAYMOND. + + P.S.--If the play is altered and made longer I will be pleased to + read it again. + + +In his former letter Raymond had declared that "Sellers, while a very +sanguine man, was not a lunatic, and no one but a lunatic could for a +moment imagine that he had done such a work" (meaning the +materialization). Clearly Raymond wanted a more serious presentation, +something akin to his earlier success, and on the whole we can hardly +blame him. But the authors had faith in their performance as it stood, +and agreed they would make no change. + +Finally a well-known elocutionist, named Burbank, conceived the notion of +impersonating Raymond as well as Sellers, making of it a sort of double +burlesque, and agreed to take the play on those terms. Burbank came to +Hartford and showed what he could do. Howells and Clemens agreed to give +him the play, and they hired the old Lyceum Theater for a week, at seven +hundred dollars, for its trial presentation. Daniel Frohman promoted it. +Clemens and Howells went over the play and made some changes, but they +were not as hilarious over it or as full of enthusiasm as they had been +in the beginning. Howells put in a night of suffering--long, dark hours +of hot and cold waves of fear--and rising next morning from a tossing +bed, wrote: "Here's a play which every manager has put out-of-doors and +which every actor known to us has refused, and now we go and give it to +an elocutioner. We are fools." + +Clemens hurried over to Boston to consult with Howells, and in the end +they agreed to pay the seven hundred dollars for the theater, take the +play off and give Burbank his freedom. But Clemens's faith in it did not +immediately die. Howells relinquished all right and title in it, and +Clemens started it out with Burbank and a traveling company, doing one- +night stands, and kept it going for a week or more at his own expense. +It never reached New York. + +"And yet," says Howells, "I think now that if it had come it would have +been successful. So hard does the faith of the unsuccessful dramatist +die."--[This was as late as the spring of 1886, at which time Howells's +faith in the play was exceedingly shaky. In one letter he wrote: "It is +a lunatic that we have created, and while a lunatic in one act might +amuse, I'm afraid that in three he would simply bore." + +And again: + +"As it stands, I believe the thing will fail, and it would be a disgrace +to have it succeed."] + + + + +CXLVIII + +CABLE AND HIS GREAT JOKE + +Meanwhile, with the completion of the Sellers play Clemens had flung +himself into dramatic writing once more with a new and more violent +impetuosity than ever. Howells had hardly returned to Boston when he +wrote: + +Now let's write a tragedy. + +The inclosed is not fancy, it is history; except that the little girl was +a passing stranger, and not kin to any of the parties. I read the +incident in Carlyle's Cromwell a year ago, and made a note in my note- +book; stumbled on the note to-day, and wrote up the closing scene of a +possible tragedy, to see how it might work. + +If we made this colonel a grand fellow, and gave him a wife to suit--hey? +It's right in the big historical times--war; Cromwell in big, picturesque +power, and all that. + +Come, let's do this tragedy, and do it well. Curious, but didn't +Florence want a Cromwell? But Cromwell would not be the chief figure +here. + +It was the closing scene of that pathetic passage in history from which +he would later make his story, "The Death Disc." Howells was too tired +and too occupied to undertake immediately a new dramatic labor, so +Clemens went steaming ahead alone. + + My billiard-table is stacked up with books relating to the Sandwich + Islands; the walls are upholstered with scraps of paper penciled + with notes drawn from them. I have saturated myself with knowledge + of that unimaginably beautiful land and that most strange and + fascinating people. And I have begun a story. Its hidden motive + will illustrate a but-little considered fact in human nature: that + the religious folly you are born in you will die in, no matter what + apparently reasonabler religious folly may seem to have taken its + place; meanwhile abolished and obliterated it. I start Bill + Ragsdale at eleven years of age, and the heroine at four, in the + midst of the ancient idolatrous system, with its picturesque and + amazing customs and superstitions, three months before the arrival + of the missionaries and--the erection of a shallow Christianity upon + the ruins of the old paganism. + + Then these two will become educated Christians and highly civilized. + + And then I will jump fifteen years and do Ragsdale's leper business. + When we come to dramatize, we can draw a deal of matter from the + story, all ready to our hand. + +He made elaborate preparations for the Sandwich Islands story, which he +and Howells would dramatize later, and within the space of a few weeks he +actually did dramatize 'The Prince and the Pauper' and 'Tom Sawyer', and +was prodding Webster to find proper actors or managers; stipulating at +first severe and arbitrary terms, which were gradually modified, as one +after another of the prospective customers found these dramatic wares +unsuited to their needs. Mark Twain was one of the most dramatic +creatures that ever lived, but he lacked the faculty of stage arrangement +of the dramatic idea. It is one of the commonest defects in the literary +make-up; also one of the hardest to realize and to explain. + +The winter of 1883-84 was a gay one in the Clemens home. Henry Irving +was among those entertained, Augustus Saint-Gaudens, Aldrich and his +wife, Howells of course, and George W. Cable. Cable had now permanently +left the South for the promised land which all authors of the South and +West seek eventually, and had in due course made his way to Hartford. +Clemens took Cable's fortunes in hand, as he had done with many another, +invited him to his home, and undertook to open negotiations with the +American Publishing Company, of which Frank Bliss was now the manager, +for the improvement of his fortunes. + +Cable had been giving readings from his stories and had somewhere picked +up the measles. He suddenly came down with the complaint during his +visit to Clemens, and his case was a violent one. It required the +constant attendance of a trained nurse and one or two members of the +household to pull him through. + +In the course of time he was convalescent, and when contagion was no +longer to be feared guests were invited in for his entertainment. At one +of these gatherings, Cable produced a curious book, which he said had +been lent to him by Prof. Francis Bacon, of New Haven, as a great rarity. +It was a little privately printed pamphlet written by a Southern youth, +named S. Watson Wolston, a Yale student of 1845, and was an absurd +romance of the hyperflorid, grandiloquent sort, entitled, "Love +Triumphant, or the Enemy Conquered." Its heroine's name was Ambulinia, +and its flowery, half-meaningless periods and impossible situations +delighted Clemens beyond measure. He begged Cable to lend it to him, to +read at the Saturday Morning Club, declaring that he certainly must own +the book, at whatever cost. Henry C. Robinson, who was present, +remembered having seen a copy in his youth, and Twichell thought he +recalled such a book on sale in New Haven during his college days. +Twichell said nothing as to any purpose in the matter; but somewhat +later, being in New Haven, he stepped into the old book-store and found +the same proprietor, who remembered very well the book and its author. +Twichell rather fearfully asked if by any chance a copy of it might still +be obtained. + +"Well," was the answer, "I undertook to put my cellar in order the other +day, and found about a cord of them down there. I think I can supply +you." + +Twichell took home six of the books at ten cents each, and on their first +spring walk to Talcott's Tower casually mentioned to Clemens the quest +for the rare Ambulinia. But Clemens had given up the pursuit. New York +dealers had reported no success in the matter. The book was no longer in +existence. + +"What would you give for a copy?" asked. Twichell. + +Clemens became excited. + +"It isn't a question of price," he said; "that would be for the owner to +set if I could find him." + +Twichell drew a little package from his pocket. + +"Well, Mark," he said, "here are six copies of that book, to begin with. +If that isn't enough, I can get you a wagon-load." + +It was enough. But it did not deter Clemens in his purpose, which was to +immortalize the little book by pointing out its peculiar charms. He did +this later, and eventually included the entire story, with comments, in +one of his own volumes. + +Clemens and Twichell did not always walk that spring. The early form of +bicycle, the prehistoric high-wheel, had come into vogue, and they each +got one and attempted its conquest. They practised in the early morning +hours on Farmington Avenue, which was wide and smooth, and they had an +instructor, a young German, who, after a morning or two, regarded Mark +Twain helplessly and said: + +"Mr. Clemens, it's remarkable--you can fall off of a bicycle more +different ways than the man that invented it." + +They were curious things, those old high-wheel machines. You were +perched away up in the air, with the feeling that you were likely at any +moment to strike a pebble or something that would fling you forward with +damaging results. Frequently that is what happened. The word "header" +seems to have grown out of that early bicycling period. Perhaps Mark +Twain invented it. He had enough experience to do it. He always +declared afterward that he invented all the new bicycle profanity that +has since come into general use. Once he wrote: + + There was a row of low stepping-stones across one end of the street, + a measured yard apart. Even after I got so I could steer pretty + fairly I was so afraid of those stones that I always hit them. They + gave me the worst falls I ever got in that street, except those + which I got from dogs. I have seen it stated that no expert is + quick enough to run over a dog; that a dog is always able to skip + out of his way. I think that that may be true; but I think that the + reason he couldn't run over the dog was because he was trying to. I + did not try to run over any dog. But I ran over every dog that came + along. I think it makes a great deal of difference. If you try to + run over the dog he knows how to calculate, but if you are trying to + miss him he does not know how to calculate, and is liable to jump + the wrong way every time. It was always so in my experience. Even + when I could not hit a wagon I could hit a dog that came to see me + practise. They all liked to see me practise, and they all came, for + there was very little going on in our neighborhood to entertain a + dog. + +He conquered, measurably, that old, discouraging thing, and he and +Twichell would go on excursions, sometimes as far as Wethersfield or to +the tower. It was a pleasant change, at least it was an interesting one; +but bicycling on the high wheel was never a popular diversion with Mark +Twain, and his enthusiasm in the sport had died before the "safety" came +along. + +He had his machine sent out to Elmira, but there were too many hills in +Chemung County, and after one brief excursion he came in, limping and +pushing his wheel, and did not try it again. + +To return to Cable. When the 1st of April (1884) approached he concluded +it would be a good time to pay off his debt of gratitude for his recent +entertainment in the Clemens's home. He went to work at it +systematically. He had a "private and confidential" circular letter +printed, and he mailed it to one hundred and fifty of Mark Twain's +literary friends in Boston, Hartford, Springfield, New York, Brooklyn, +Washington, and elsewhere, suggesting that they write to him, so that +their letters would reach him simultaneously April 1st, asking for his +autograph. No stamps or cards were to be inclosed for reply, and it was +requested that "no stranger to Mr. Clemens and no minor" should take +part. Mrs. Clemens was let into the secret, so that she would see to it +that her husband did not reject his mail or commit it to the flames +unopened. + +It would seem that every one receiving the invitation must have responded +to it, for on the morning of April 1st a stupefying mass of letters was +unloaded on Mark Twain's table. He did not know what to make of it, and +Mrs. Clemens stood off to watch the results. The first one he opened was +from Dean Sage, a friend whom he valued highly. Sage wrote from +Brooklyn: + + DEAR CLEMENS,--I have recently been asked by a young lady who + unfortunately has a mania for autograph-collecting, but otherwise is + a charming character, and comely enough to suit your fastidious + taste, to secure for her the sign manual of the few distinguished + persons fortunate enough to have my acquaintance. In enumerating + them to her, after mentioning the names of Geo. Shepard Page, Joe + Michell, Capt. Isaiah Ryndus, Mr. Willard, Dan Mace, and J. L. + Sullivan, I came to yours. "Oh!" said she, "I have read all his + works--Little Breeches, The Heathen Chinee, and the rest--and think + them delightful. Do oblige me by asking him for his autograph, + preceded by any little sentiment that may occur to him, provided it + is not too short." + + Of course I promised, and hope you will oblige me by sending some + little thing addressed to Miss Oakes. + + We are all pretty well at home just now, though indisposition has + been among us for the past fortnight. With regards to Mrs. Clemens + and the children, in which my wife joins, + + Yours truly, DEAN SAGE. + + +It amused and rather surprised him, and it fooled him completely; but +when he picked up a letter from Brander Matthews, asking, in some absurd +fashion, for his signature, and another from Ellen Terry, and from +Irving, and from Stedman, and from Warner, and Waring, and H. C. Bunner, +and Sarony, and Laurence Hutton, and John Hay, and R. U. Johnson, and +Modjeska, the size and quality of the joke began to overawe him. He was +delighted, of course; for really it was a fine compliment, in its way, +and most of the letters were distinctly amusing. Some of them asked for +autographs by the yard, some by the pound. Henry Irving said: + + I have just got back from a very late rehearsal-five o'clock--very + tired--but there will be no rest till I get your autograph. + +Some requested him to sit down and copy a few chapters from The Innocents +Abroad for them or to send an original manuscript. Others requested that +his autograph be attached to a check of interesting size. John Hay +suggested that he copy a hymn, a few hundred lines of Young's "Night +Thoughts," and an equal amount of Pollak's "Course of Time." + + I want my boy to form a taste for serious and elevated poetry, and + it will add considerable commercial value to have them in your + handwriting. + +Altogether the reading of the letters gave him a delightful day, and his +admiration for Cable grew accordingly. Cable, too, was pleased with the +success of his joke, though he declared he would never risk such a thing +again. A newspaper of the time reports him as saying: + + I never suffered so much agony as for a few days previous to the 1st + of April. I was afraid the letters would reach Mark when he was in + affliction, in which case all of us would never have ceased flying + to make it up to him. + When I visited Mark we used to open our budgets of letters together + at breakfast. We used to sing out whenever we struck an autograph- + hunter. I think the idea came from that. The first person I spoke + to about it was Robert Underwood Johnson, of the Century. My most + enthusiastic ally was the Rev. Henry Ward Beecher. We never thought + it would get into the papers. I never played a practical joke + before. I never will again, certainly. + +Mark Twain in those days did not encourage the regular autograph- +collectors, and seldom paid any attention to their requests for his +signature. He changed all this in later years, and kept a supply always +on hand to satisfy every request; but in those earlier days he had no +patience with collecting fads, and it required a particularly pleasing +application to obtain his signature. + + + + +CXLIX + +MARK TWAIN IN BUSINESS + +Samuel Clemens by this time was definitely engaged in the publishing +business. Webster had a complete office with assistants at 658 Broadway, +and had acquired a pretty thorough and practical knowledge of +subscription publishing. He was a busy, industrious young man, +tirelessly energetic, and with a good deal of confidence, by no means +unnecessary to commercial success. He placed this mental and physical +capital against Mark Twain's inspiration and financial backing, and the +combination of Charles L. Webster & Co. seemed likely to be a strong +one. + +Already, in the spring of 1884., Webster had the new Mark Twain book, +'The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn', well in hand, and was on the watch +for promising subscription books by other authors. Clemens, with his +usual business vision and eye for results, with a generous disregard of +detail, was supervising the larger preliminaries, and fulminating at the +petty distractions and difficulties as they came along. Certain plays he +was trying to place were enough to keep him pretty thoroughly upset +during this period, and proof-reading never added to his happiness. To +Howells he wrote: + + My days are given up to cursings, both loud and deep, for I am + reading the 'Huck Finn' proofs. They don't make a very great many + mistakes, but those that do occur are of a nature that make a man + swear his teeth loose. + +Whereupon Howells promptly wrote him that he would help him out with the +Huck Finn proofs for the pleasure of reading the story. Clemens, among +other things, was trying to place a patent grape-scissors, invented by +Howells's father, so that there was, in some degree, an equivalent for +the heavy obligation. That it was a heavy one we gather from his fervent +acknowledgment: + + It took my breath away, and I haven't recovered it yet, entirely--I + mean the generosity of your proposal to read the proofs of Huck + Finn. + + Now, if you mean it, old man--if you are in earnest-proceed, in + God's name, and be by me forever blessed. I can't conceive of a + rational man deliberately piling such an atrocious job upon himself. + But if there be such a man, and you be that man, pile it on. The + proof-reading of 'The Prince and the Pauper' cost me the last rags + of my religion. + +Clemens decided to have the Huckleberry Finn book illustrated after his +own ideas. He looked through the various comic papers to see if he could +find the work of some new man that appealed to his fancy. In the pages +of Life he discovered some comic pictures illustrating the possibility of +applying electrical burners to messenger boys, waiters, etc. The style +and the spirit of these things amused him. He instructed Webster to look +up the artist, who proved to be a young man, E. W. Kemble by name, later +one of our foremost cartoonists. Webster engaged Kemble and put the +manuscript in his hands. Through the publication of certain chapters of +Huck Finn in the Century Magazine, Kemble was brought to the notice of +its editors, who wrote Clemens that they were profoundly indebted to him +for unearthing "such a gem of an illustrator." + +Clemens, encouraged and full of enthusiasm, now endeavored to interest +himself in the practical details of manufacture, but his stock of +patience was light and the details were many. His early business period +resembles, in some of its features, his mining experience in Esmeralda, +his letters to Webster being not unlike those to Orion in that former +day. They are much oftener gentle, considerate, even apologetic, but +they are occasionally terse, arbitrary, and profane. It required effort +for him to be entirely calm in his business correspondence. A criticism +of one of Webster's assistants will serve as an example of his less quiet +method: + + Charley, your proof-reader, is an idiot; and not only an idiot, but + blind; and not only blind, but partly dead. + +Of course, one must regard many of Mark Twain's business aspects +humorously. To consider them otherwise is to place him in a false light +altogether. He wore himself out with his anxieties and irritations; but +that even he, in the midst of his furies, saw the humor of it all is +sufficiently evidenced by the form of his savage phrasing. There were +few things that did not amuse him, and certainly nothing amused more, or +oftener, than himself. + +It is proper to add a detail in evidence of a business soundness which he +sometimes manifested. He had observed the methods of Bliss and Osgood, +and had drawn his conclusions. In the beginning of the Huck Finn canvass +he wrote Webster: + + Keep it diligently in mind that we don't issue till we have made a + big sale. + + Get at your canvassing early and drive it with all your might, with + an intent and purpose of issuing on the 1oth or 15th of next + December (the best time in the year to tumble a big pile into the + trade); but if we haven't 40,000 subscriptions we simply postpone + publication till we've got them. It is a plain, simple policy, and + would have saved both of my last books if it had been followed. + [That is to say, 'The Prince and the Pauper' and the Mississippi + book, neither of which had sold up to his expectations on the, + initial canvass.] + + + + +CL + +FARM PICTURES + +Gerhardt returned from Paris that summer, after three years of study, a +qualified sculptor. He was prepared to take commissions, and came to +Elmira to model a bust of his benefactor. The work was finished after +four or five weeks of hard effort and pronounced admirable; but Gerhardt, +attempting to make a cast one morning, ruined it completely. The family +gathered round the disaster, which to them seemed final, but the sculptor +went immediately to work, and in an amazingly brief time executed a new +bust even better than the first, an excellent piece of modeling and a +fine likeness. It was decided that a cut of it should be used as a +frontispiece for the new book, The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn. + +Clemens was at this time giving the final readings to the Huck Finn +pages, a labor in which Mrs. Clemens and the children materially +assisted. In the childish biography which Susy began of her father, a +year later, she says: + + Ever since papa and mama were married papa has written his books and + then taken them to mama in manuscript, and she has expurgated-- + [Susy's spelling is preserved]--them. Papa read Huckleberry Finn to + us in manuscript,--[Probably meaning proof.]--just before it came + out, and then he would leave parts of it with mama to expurgate, + while he went off to the study to work, and sometimes Clara and I + would be sitting with mama while she was looking the manuscript + over, and I remember so well, with what pangs of regret we used to + see her turn down the leaves of the pages, which meant that some + delightfully terrible part must be scratched out. And I remember + one part pertickularly which was perfectly fascinating it was so + terrible, that Clara and I used to delight in and oh, with what + despair we saw mama turn down the leaf on which it was written, we + thought the book would almost be ruined without it. But we + gradually came to think as mama did. + +Commenting on this phase of Huck's evolution Mark Twain has since +written: + + I remember the special case mentioned by Susy, and can see the group + yet--two-thirds of it pleading for the life of the culprit sentence + that was so fascinatingly dreadful, and the other third of it + patiently explaining why the court could not grant the prayer of the + pleaders; but I do not remember what the condemned phrase was. It + had much company, and they all went to the gallows; but it is + possible that that especially dreadful one which gave those little + people so much delight was cunningly devised and put into the book + for just that function, and not with any hope or expectation that it + would get by the "expergator" alive. It is possible, for I had that + custom. + +Little Jean was probably too youthful yet to take part in that literary +arbitration. She was four, and had more interest in cows. In some +memoranda which her father kept of that period--the "Children's Book"--he +says: + + She goes out to the barn with one of us every evening toward six + o'clock, to look at the cows--which she adores--no weaker word can + express her feeling for them. She sits rapt and contented while + David milks the three, making a remark now and then--always about + the cows. The time passes slowly and drearily for her attendant, + but not for her. She could stand a week of it. When the milking is + finished, and "Blanche," "Jean," and "the cross cow" are turned into + the adjoining little cow-lot, we have to set Jean on a shed in that + lot, and stay by her half an hour, till Eliza, the German nurse, + comes to take her to bed. The cows merely stand there, and do + nothing; yet the mere sight of them is all-sufficient for Jean. She + requires nothing more. The other evening, after contemplating them + a long time, as they stood in the muddy muck chewing the cud, she + said, with deep and reverent appreciation, "Ain't this a sweet + little garden?" + + Yesterday evening our cows (after being inspected and worshiped by + Jean from the shed for an hour) wandered off down into the pasture + and left her bereft. I thought I was going to get back home, now, + but that was an error. Jean knew of some more cows in a field + somewhere, and took my hand and led me thitherward. When we turned + the corner and took the right-hand road, I saw that we should + presently be out of range of call and sight; so I began to argue + against continuing the expedition, and Jean began to argue in favor + of it, she using English for light skirmishing and German for + "business." I kept up my end with vigor, and demolished her + arguments in detail, one after the other, till I judged I had her + about cornered. She hesitated a moment, then answered up, sharply: + + "Wir werden nichts mehr daruber sprechen!" (We won't talk any more + about it.) + + It nearly took my breath away, though I thought I might possibly + have misunderstood. I said: + + "Why, you little rascal! Was hast du gesagt?" + + But she said the same words over again, and in the same decided way. + I suppose I ought to have been outraged, but I wasn't; I was + charmed. + +His own note-books of that summer are as full as usual, but there are +fewer literary ideas and more philosophies. There was an excitement, +just then, about the trichina germ in pork, and one of his memoranda +says: + + I think we are only the microscopic trichina concealed in the blood + of some vast creature's veins, and that it is that vast creature + whom God concerns himself about and not us. + +And there is another which says: + + People, in trying to justify eternity, say we can put it in by + learning all the knowledge acquired by the inhabitants of the + myriads of stars. We sha'n't need that. We could use up two + eternities in learning all that is to be learned about our own + world, and the thousands of nations that have risen, and flourished, + and vanished from it. Mathematics alone would occupy me eight + million years. + +He records an incident which he related more fully in a letter to +Howells: + + Before I forget it I must tell you that Mrs. Clemens has said a + bright thing. A drop-letter came to me asking me to lecture here + for a church debt. I began to rage over the exceedingly cool + wording of the request, when Mrs. Clemens said: "I think I know that + church, and, if so, this preacher is a colored man; he doesn't know + how to write a polished letter. How should he?" + + My manner changed so suddenly and so radically that Mrs. C. said: "I + will give you a motto, and it will be useful to you if you will + adopt it: 'Consider every man colored till he is proved white.'" + +It is dern good, I think. + +One of the note-books contains these entries: + + Talking last night about home matters, I said, "I wish I had said to + George when we were leaving home, 'Now, George, I wish you would + take advantage of these three or four months' idle time while I am + away----'" + + "To learn to let my matches alone," interrupted Livy. The very + words I was going to use. Yet George had not been mentioned before, + nor his peculiarities. + +Several years ago I said: + + "Suppose I should live to be ninety-two, and just as I was dying a + messenger should enter and say----" + + "You are become Earl of Durham," interrupted Livy. The very words I + was going to utter. Yet there had not been a word said about the + earl, or any other person, nor had there been any conversation + calculated to suggest any such subject. + + + + +CLI + +MARK TWAIN MUGWUMPS + +The Republican Presidential nomination of James G. Blaine resulted in a +political revolt such as the nation had not known. Blaine was immensely +popular, but he had many enemies in his own party. There were strong +suspicions of his being connected with doubtful financiering-enterprises, +more or less sensitive to official influence, and while these scandals +had become quieted a very large portion of the Republican constituency +refused to believe them unjustified. What might be termed the +intellectual element of Republicanism was against Blame: George William +Curtis, Charles Dudley Warner, James Russell Lowell, Henry Ward Beecher, +Thomas Nast, the firm of Harper & Brothers, Joseph W. Hawley, Joseph +Twichell, Mark Twain--in fact the majority of thinking men who held +principle above party in their choice. + +On the day of the Chicago nomination, Henry C. Robinson, Charles E. +Perkins, Edward M. Bunce, F. G. Whitmore, and Samuel C. Dunham were +collected with Mark Twain in his billiard-room, taking turns at the game +and discussing the political situation, with George, the colored butler, +at the telephone down-stairs to report the returns as they came in. As +fast as the ballot was received at the political headquarters down-town, +it was telephoned up to the house and George reported it through the +speaking-tube. + +The opposition to Blaine in the convention was so strong that no one of +the assembled players seriously expected his nomination. What was their +amazement, then, when about mid-afternoon George suddenly announced +through the speaking-tube that Blaine was the nominee. The butts of the +billiard cues came down on the floor with a bump, and for a moment the +players were speechless. Then Henry Robinson said: + +"It's hard luck to have to vote for that man." + +Clemens looked at him under his heavy brows. + +"But--we don't--have to vote for him," he said. + +"Do you mean to say that you're not going to vote for him?" + +"Yes, that is what I mean to say. I am not going to vote for him." + +There was a general protest. Most of those assembled declared that when +a party's representatives chose a man one must stand by him. They might +choose unwisely, but the party support must be maintained. Clemens said: + +"No party holds the privilege of dictating to me how I shall vote. If +loyalty to party is a form of patriotism, I am no patriot. If there is +any valuable difference between a monarchist and an American, it lies in +the theory that the American can decide for himself what is patriotic and +what isn't. I claim that difference. I am the only person in the sixty +millions that is privileged to dictate my patriotism." + +There was a good deal of talk back and forth, and, in the end, most of +those there present remained loyal to Blaine. General Hawley and his +paper stood by Blaine. Warner withdrew from his editorship of the +Courant and remained neutral. Twichell stood with Clemens and came near +losing his pulpit by it. Open letters were published in the newspapers +about him. It was a campaign when politics divided neighbors, families, +and congregations. If we except the Civil War period, there never had +been a more rancorous political warfare than that waged between the +parties of James G. Blaine and Grover Cleveland in 1884. + +That Howells remained true to Blaine was a grief to Clemens. He had gone +to the farm with Howells on his political conscience and had written +fervent and imploring letters on the subject. As late as September 17th, +he said: + + Somehow I can't seem to rest quiet under the idea of your voting for + Blaine. I believe you said something about the country and the + party. Certainly allegiance to these is well, but certainly a man's + first duty is to his own conscience and honor; the party and country + come second to that, and never first. I don't ask you to vote at + all. I only urge you not to soil yourself by voting for Blaine.... + Don't be offended; I mean no offense. I am not concerned about the + rest of the nation, but well, good-by. + Yours ever, MARK. + +Beyond his prayerful letters to Howells, Clemens did not greatly concern +himself with politics on the farm, but, returning to Hartford, he went +vigorously into the campaign, presided, as usual, at mass-meetings, and +made political speeches which invited the laughter of both parties, and +were universally quoted and printed without regard to the paper's +convictions. + +It was during one such speech as this that, in the course of his remarks, +a band outside came marching by playing patriotic music so loudly as to +drown his voice. He waited till the band got by, but by the time he was +well under way again another band passed, and once more he was obliged to +wait till the music died away in the distance. Then he said, quite +serenely: + +"You will find my speech, without the music, in the morning paper." + +In introducing Carl Schurz at a great mugwump mass-meeting at Hartford, +October 20, 1884., he remarked that he [Clemens] was the only +legitimately elected officer, and was expected to read a long list of +vice-presidents; but he had forgotten all about it, and he would ask all +the gentlemen there, of whatever political complexion, to do him a great +favor by acting as vice-presidents. Then he said: + + As far as my own political change of heart is concerned, I have not + been convinced by any Democratic means. The opinion I hold of Mr. + Blaine is due to the comments of the Republican press before the + nomination. Not that they have said bitter or scandalous things, + because Republican papers are above that, but the things they said + did not seem to be complimentary, and seemed to me to imply + editorial disapproval of Mr. Blame and the belief that he was not + qualified to be President of the United States. + + It is just a little indelicate for me to be here on this occasion + before an assemblage of voters, for the reason that the ablest + newspaper in Colorado--the ablest newspaper in the world--has + recently nominated me for President. It is hardly fit for me to + preside at a discussion of the brother candidate, but the best among + us will do the most repulsive things the moment we are smitten with + a Presidential madness. If I had realized that this canvass was to + turn on the candidate's private character I would have started that + Colorado paper sooner. I know the crimes that can be imputed and + proved against me can be told on the fingers of your hands. This + cannot be said of any other Presidential candidate in the field. + +Inasmuch as the Blaine-Cleveland campaign was essentially a campaign of +scurrility, this touch was loudly applauded. + +Mark Twain voted for Grover Cleveland, though up to the very eve of +election he was ready to support a Republican nominee in whom he had +faith, preferably Edmunds, and he tried to inaugurate a movement by which +Edmunds might be nominated as a surprise candidate and sweep the country. + +It was probably Dr. Burchard's ill-advised utterance concerning the three +alleged R's of Democracy, "Rum, Romanism, and Rebellion," that defeated +Blaine, and by some strange, occult means Mark Twain's butler George got +wind of this damning speech before it became news on the streets of +Hartford. George had gone with his party, and had a considerable sum of +money wagered on Blaine's election; but he knew it was likely to be very +close, and he had an instant and deep conviction that these three fatal +words and Blaine's failure to repudiate them meant the candidate's +downfall. He immediately abandoned everything in the shape of household +duties, and within the briefest possible time had changed enough money to +make him safe, and leave him a good margin of winnings besides, in the +event of Blame's defeat. This was evening. A very little later the news +of Blaine's blunder, announced from the opera-house stage, was like the +explosion of a bomb. But it was no news to George, who went home +rejoicing with his enemies. + + + + +CLII + +PLATFORMING WITH CABLE + +The drain of many investments and the establishment of a publishing house +had told heavily on Clemens's finances. It became desirable to earn a +large sum of money with as much expedition as possible. Authors' +readings had become popular, and Clemens had read in Philadelphia and +Boston with satisfactory results. He now conceived the idea of a grand +tour of authors as a commercial enterprise. He proposed to Aldrich, +Howells, and Cable that he charter a private car for the purpose, and +that with their own housekeeping arrangements, cooking, etc., they could +go swinging around the circuit, reaping, a golden harvest. He offered to +be general manager of the expedition, the impresario as it were, and +agreed to guarantee the others not less than seventy-five dollars a day +apiece as their net return from the "circus," as he called it. + +Howells and Aldrich liked well enough to consider it as an amusing +prospect, but only Cable was willing to realize it. He had been scouring +the country on his own account, and he was willing enough to join forces +with Mark Twain. + +Clemens detested platforming, but the idea of reading from his books or +manuscript for some reason seemed less objectionable, and, as already +stated, the need of much money had become important. + +He arranged with J. B. Pond for the business side of the expedition, +though in reality he was its proprietor. The private-car idea was given +up, but he employed Cable at a salary of four hundred and fifty dollars a +week and expenses, and he paid Pond a commission. Perhaps, without going +any further, we may say that the tour was a financial success, and +yielded a large return of the needed funds. + +Clemens and Cable had a pleasant enough time, and had it not been for the +absence from home and the disagreeableness of railway travel, there would +have been little to regret. They were a curiously associated pair. +Cable was orthodox in his religion, devoted to Sunday-school, Bible +reading, and church affairs in general. Clemens--well, Clemens was +different. On the first evening of their tour, when the latter was +comfortably settled in bed with an entertaining book, Cable appeared with +his Bible, and proceeded to read a chapter aloud. Clemens made no +comment, and this went on for an evening or two more. Then he said: + +"See here, Cable, we'll have to cut this part of the program out. You +can read the Bible as much as you please so long as you don't read it to +me." + +Cable retired courteously. He had a keen sense of humor, and most things +that Mark Twain did, whether he approved or not, amused him. Cable did +not smoke, but he seemed always to prefer the smoking compartment when +they traveled, to the more respectable portions of the car. One day +Clemens sand to him: + +"Cable, why do you sit in here? You don't smoke, and you know I always +smoke, and sometimes swear." + +Cable said, "I know, Mark, I don't do these things, but I can't help +admiring the way you do them." + +When Sunday came it was Mark Twain's great happiness to stay in bed all +day, resting after his week of labor; but Cable would rise, bright and +chipper, dress himself in neat and suitable attire, and visit the various +churches and Sunday-schools in town, usually making a brief address at +each, being always invited to do so. + +It seems worth while to include one of the Clemens-Cable programs here-- +a most satisfactory one. They varied it on occasion, and when they were +two nights in a place changed it completely, but the program here given +was the one they were likely to use after they had proved its worth: + + PROGRAM + + Richling's visit to Kate Riley + GEO. W. CABLE + + King Sollermun + MARK TWAIN + + (a) Kate Riley and Ristofolo + (b) Narcisse in mourning for "Lady Byron" + (c) Mary's Night Ride + GEO. W. CABLE + (a) Tragic Tale of the Fishwife + (b) A Trying Situation + (c) A Ghost Story + MARK TWAIN + + +At a Mark Twain memorial meeting (November 30, 1910), where the few who +were left of his old companions told over quaint and tender memories, +George Cable recalled their reading days together and told of Mark +Twain's conscientious effort to do his best, to be worthy of himself, +regardless of all other concerns. He told how when they had been +traveling for a while Clemens seemed to realize that he was only giving +the audience nonsense; making them laugh at trivialities which they would +forget before they had left the entertainment hall. Cable said that up +to that time he had supposed Clemens's chief thought was the +entertainment of the moment, and that if the audience laughed he was +satisfied. He told how he had sat in the wings, waiting his turn, and +heard the tides of laughter gather and roll forward and break against the +footlights, time and time again, and how he had believed his colleague to +be glorying in that triumph. What was his surprise, then, on the way to +the hotel in the carriage, when Clemens groaned and seemed writhing in +spirit and said: + +"Oh, Cable, I am demeaning myself. I am allowing myself to be a mere +buffoon. It's ghastly. I can't endure it any longer." + +Cable added that all that night and the next day Mark Twain devoted +himself to the study and rehearsal of selections which were justified not +only as humor, but as literature and art. + +A good many interesting and amusing things would happen on such a tour. +Many of these are entirely forgotten, of course, but of others certain +memoranda have been preserved. Grover Cleveland had been elected when +they set out on their travels, but was still holding his position in +Albany as Governor of New York. When they reached Albany Cable and +Clemens decided to call on him. They drove to the Capitol and were shown +into the Governor's private office. Cleveland made them welcome, and, +after greetings, said to Clemens: + +"Mr. Clemens, I was a fellow-citizen of yours in Buffalo a good many +months some years ago, but you never called on me then. How do you +explain this?" + +Clemens said: "Oh, that is very simple to answer, your Excellency. In +Buffalo you were a sheriff. I kept away from the sheriff as much as +possible, but you're Governor now, and on the way to the Presidency. +It's worth while coming to see you." + +Clemens meantime had been resting, half sitting, on the corner of the +Executive desk. He leaned back a little, and suddenly about a dozen +young men opened various doors, filed in and stood at attention, as if +waiting for orders. + +No one spoke for a moment; then the Governor said to this collection of +attendants: + +"You are dismissed, young gentlemen. Your services are not required. +Mr. Clemens is sitting on the bells." + +In Buffalo, when Clemens appeared on the stage, he leisurely considered +the audience for a moment; then he said: + +"I miss a good many faces. They have gone--gone to the tomb, to the +gallows, or to the White House. All of us are entitled to at least one +of these distinctions, and it behooves us to be wise and prepare for +all." + +On Thanksgiving Eve the readers were in Morristown, New Jersey, where +they were entertained by Thomas Nast. The cartoonist prepared a quiet +supper for them and they remained overnight in the Nast home. They were +to leave next morning by an early train, and Mrs. Nast had agreed to see +that they were up in due season. When she woke next morning there seemed +a strange silence in the house and she grew suspicious. Going to the +servants' room, she found them sleeping soundly. The alarm-clock in the +back hall had stopped at about the hour the guests retired. The studio +clock was also found stopped; in fact, every timepiece on the premises +had retired from business. Clemens had found that the clocks interfered +with his getting to sleep, and he had quieted them regardless of early +trains and reading engagements. On being accused of duplicity he said: + +"Well, those clocks were all overworked, anyway. They will feel much +better for a night's rest." + +A few days later Nast sent him a caricature drawing--a picture which +showed Mark Twain getting rid of the offending clocks. + +At Christmas-time they took a fortnight's holiday and Clemens went home +to Hartford. A surprise was awaiting him there. Mrs. Clemens had made +an adaptation of 'The Prince and the Pauper' play, and the children of +the neighborhood had prepared a presentation of it for his special +delectation. He knew, on his arrival home, that something mysterious was +in progress, for certain rooms were forbidden him; but he had no inkling +of their plan until just before the performance--when he was led across +the grounds to George Warner's home, into the large room there where it +was to be given, and placed in a seat directly in front of the stage. + +Gerhardt had painted the drop-curtain, and assisted in the general +construction of scenery and effects. The result was really imposing; but +presently, when the curtain rose and the guest of honor realized what it +was all about, and what they had undertaken for his pleasure, he was +deeply moved and supremely gratified. + +There was but one hitch in the performance. There is a place where the +Prince says, "Fathers be alike, mayhap; mine hath not a doll's temper." + +This was Susy's part, and as she said it the audience did not fail to +remember its literal appropriateness. There was a moment's silence, then +a titter, followed by a roar of laughter, in which everybody but the +little actors joined. They did not see the humor and were disturbed and +grieved. Curiously enough, Mrs Clemens herself, in arranging and casting +the play, had not considered the possibility of this effect. The parts +were all daintily played. The children wore their assumed personalities +as if native to them. Daisy Warner played the part of Tom Canty, Clara +Clemens was Lady Jane Grey. + +It was only the beginning of The Prince and the Pauper productions. The +play was repeated, Clemens assisting, adding to the parts, and himself +playing the role of Miles Hendon. In her childish biography Susy says: + + Papa had only three days to learn the part in, but still we were all + sure that he could do it. The scene that he acted in was the scene + between Miles Hendon and the Prince, the "Prithee, pour the water" + scene. I was the Prince and papa and I rehearsed together two or + three times a day for the three days before the appointed evening. + Papa acted his part beautifully, and he added to the scene, making + it a good deal longer. He was inexpressibly funny, with his great + slouch hat and gait----oh such a gait! Papa made the Miles Hendon + scene a splendid success and every one was delighted with the scene, + and papa too. We had great fun with our "Prince and Pauper," and I + think we none of us shall forget how immensely funny papa was in it. + He certainly could have been an actor as well as an author. + +The holidays over, Cable and Clemens were off on the circuit again. At +Rochester an incident happened which led to the writing of one of Mark +Twain's important books, 'A Connecticut Yankee at King Arthur's Court'. +Clemens and Cable had wandered into a book-store for the purpose of +finding something to read. Pulling over some volumes on one of the +tables, Clemens happened to pick up a little green, cloth-bound book, and +after looking at the title turned the pages rather curiously and with +increasing interest. + +"Cable," he said, "do you know anything about this book, the Arthurian +legends of Sir Thomas Malory, Morte Arthure?" + +Cable answered: "Mark, that is one of the most beautiful books in the +world. Let me buy it for you. You will love it more than any book you +ever read." + +So Clemens came to know the old chronicler's version of the rare Round +Table legends, and from that first acquaintance with them to the last +days of his life seldom let the book go far from him. He read and reread +those quaint, stately tales and reverenced their beauty, while fairly +reveling in the absurdities of that ancient day. Sir Ector's lament he +regarded as one of the most simply beautiful pieces of writing in the +English tongue, and some of the combats and quests as the most ridiculous +absurdities in romance. Presently he conceived the idea of linking that +day, with its customs, costumes, and abuses, with the progress of the +present, or carrying back into that age of magicians and armor and +superstition and cruelties a brisk American of progressive ideas who +would institute reforms. His note-book began to be filled with memoranda +of situations and possibilities for the tale he had in mind. These were +vague, unformed fancies as yet, and it would be a long time before the +story would become a fact. This was the first entry: + + Dream of being a knight-errant in armor in the Middle Ages. Have + the notions and habits, though, of the present day mixed with the + necessities of that. No pockets in the armor. No way to manage + certain requirements of nature. Can't scratch. Cold in the head + and can't blow. Can't get a handkerchief; can't use iron sleeve; + iron gets red-hot in the sun; leaks in the rain; gets white with + frost and freezes me solid in winter; makes disagreeable clatter + when I enter church. Can't dress or undress myself. Always getting + struck by lightning. Fall down and can't get up. + +Twenty-one years later, discussing the genesis of the story, he said: + +"As I read those quaint and curious old legends I suppose I naturally +contrasted those days with ours, and it made me curious to fancy what +might be the picturesque result if we could dump the nineteenth century +down into the sixth century and observe the consequences." + +The reading tour continued during the first two months of the new year +and carried them as far west as Chicago. They read in Hannibal and +Keokuk, and Clemens spent a day in the latter place with his mother, now +living with Orion, brisk and active for her years and with her old-time +force of character. Mark Twain, arranging for her Keokuk residence, had +written: + + Ma wants to board with you, and pay her board. She will pay you $20 + a month (she wouldn't pay a cent more in heaven; she is obstinate on + this point), and as long as she remains with you and is content I + will add $25 a month to the sum Perkins already sends you. + +Jane Clemens attended the Keokuk reading, and later, at home, when her +children asked her if she could still dance, she rose, and at eighty-one +tripped as lightly as a girl. It was the last time that Mark Twain ever +saw his mother in the health and vigor which had been always so much a +part of her personality. + +Clemens saw another relative on that trip; in St. Louis, James Lampton, +the original of Colonel Sellers, called. + +He was become old and white-headed, but he entered to me in the same old +breezy way of his earlier life, and he was all there, yet--not a detail +wanting: the happy light in his eye, the abounding hope in his heart, the +persuasive tongue, the miracle-breeding imagination--they were all there; +and before I could turn around he was polishing up his Aladdin's lamp and +flashing the secret riches of the world before me. I said to myself: +"I did not overdraw him by a shade, I set him down as he was; and he is +the same man to-day. Cable will recognize him." + +Clemens opened the door into Cable's room and allowed the golden dream- +talk to float in. It was of a "small venture" which the caller had +undertaken through his son. + +"Only a little thing--a, mere trifle--a bagatelle. I suppose there's a +couple of millions in it, possibly three, but not more, I think; still, +for a boy, you know----" + +It was the same old Cousin Jim. Later, when he had royally accepted some +tickets for the reading and bowed his exit, Cable put his head in at the +door. + +"That was Colonel Sellers," he said. + + + + +CLIII + +HUCK FINN COMES INTO HIS OWN + +In the December Century (1884) appeared a chapter from 'The Adventures of +Huckleberry Finn', "The Grangerford-Shepherdson Feud," a piece of writing +which Edmund Clarence Stederian, Brander Matthews, and others promptly +ranked as among Mark Twain's very best; when this was followed, in the +January number, by "King Sollermun," a chapter which in its way delighted +quite as many readers, the success of the new book was accounted certain. +--[Stedman, writing to Clemens of this instalment, said: "To my mind it +is not only the most finished and condensed thing you have done. but as +dramatic and powerful an episode as I know in modern literature."] + +'The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn' was officially published in England +and America in December, 1884, but the book was not in the canvassers' +hands for delivery until February. By this time the orders were +approximately for forty thousand copies, a number which had increased to +fifty thousand a few weeks later. Webster's first publication venture +was in the nature of a triumph. Clemens wrote to him March 16th: + +"Your news is splendid. Huck certainly is a success." + +He felt that he had demonstrated his capacity as a general director and +Webster had proved his efficiency as an executive. He had no further +need of an outside publisher. + +The story of Huck Finn will probably stand as the best of Mark Twain's +purely fictional writings. A sequel to Tom Sawyer, it is greater than +its predecessor; greater artistically, though perhaps with less immediate +interest for the juvenile reader. In fact, the books are so different +that they are not to be compared--wherein lies the success of the later +one. Sequels are dangerous things when the story is continuous, but in +Huckleberry Finn the story is a new one, wholly different in environment, +atmosphere, purpose, character, everything. The tale of Huck and Nigger +Jim drifting down the mighty river on a raft, cross-secting the various +primitive aspects of human existence, constitutes one of the most +impressive examples of picaresque fiction in any language. It has been +ranked greater than Gil Blas, greater even than Don Quixote; certainly it +is more convincing, more human, than either of these tales. Robert Louis +Stevenson once wrote, "It is a book I have read four times, and am quite +ready to begin again to-morrow." + +It is by no means a flawless book, though its defects are trivial enough. +The illusion of Huck as narrator fails the least bit here and there; the +"four dialects" are not always maintained; the occasional touch of broad +burlesque detracts from the tale's reality. We are inclined to resent +this. We never wish to feel that Huck is anything but a real character. +We want him always the Huck who was willing to go to hell if necessary, +rather than sacrifice Nigger Jim; the Huck who watched the river through +long nights, and, without caring to explain why, felt his soul go out to +the sunrise. + + Two or three days and nights went by; I reckon I might say they swum + by, they slid along so quiet and smooth and lovely. Here is the way + we put in the time. It was a monstrous big river down there-- + sometimes a mile and a half wide; we run nights and laid up and hid + daytimes; soon as the night was most gone we stopped navigating and + tied up--nearly always in the dead water under a towhead; and then + cut young cottonwoods and willows and hid the raft with them. Then + we set out the lines. Next we slid into the river and had a swim, + so as to freshen up and cool off; then we set down on the sandy + bottom where the water was about knee deep, and watched the daylight + come. Not a sound anywheres--perfectly still--just like the whole + world was asleep, only sometimes the bullfrogs a-cluttering, maybe. + The first thing to see, looking away over the water, was a kind of + dull line--that was the woods on t'other side, you couldn't make + nothing else out; then a pale place in the sky; then more paleness, + spreading around; then the river softened up, away off, and warn't + black anymore, but gray; you could see little dark spots drifting + along, ever so far away--trading scows, and such things; and long + black streaks--rafts; sometimes you could hear a sweep screaking; or + jumbled up voices, it was so still, and sounds come so far; and by- + and-by you could see a streak on the water which you know by the + look of the streak that there's a snag there in a swift current + which breaks on it and makes that streak look that way; and you see + the mist curl up off the water, and the east reddens up, and the + river, and you make out a log-cabin in the edge of the woods, away + on the bank on t'other side of the river, being a wood-yard, likely, + and piled by them cheats so you can throw a dog through it + anywheres; then the nice breeze springs up, and comes fanning you + over there, so cool and fresh, and sweet to smell, on account of the + woods and the flowers.... And next you've got the full day, and + everything smiling in the sun, and the song-birds just going it! + +This is the Huck we want, and this is the Huck we usually have, and that +the world has long been thankful for. + +Take the story as a whole, it is a succession of startling and unique +pictures. The cabin in the swamp which Huck and his father used together +in their weird, ghastly relationship; the night adventure with Jim on the +wrecked steamboat; Huck's night among the towheads; the Grangerford- +Shepherdson battle; the killing of Boggs--to name a few of the many vivid +presentations--these are of no time or literary fashion and will never +lose their flavor nor their freshness so long as humanity itself does not +change. The terse, unadorned Grangerford-Shepherdson episode--built out +of the Darnell--Watson feuds--[See Life on the Mississippi, chap. xxvi. +Mark Twain himself, as a cub pilot, came near witnessing the battle he +describes.]--is simply classic in its vivid casualness, and the same may +be said of almost every incident on that long river-drift; but this is +the strength, the very essence of picaresque narrative. It is the way +things happen in reality; and the quiet, unexcited frame of mind in which +Huck is prompted to set them down would seem to be the last word in +literary art. To Huck, apparently, the killing of Boggs and Colonel +Sherburn's defiance of the mob are of about the same historical +importance as any other incidents of the day's travel. When Colonel +Sherburn threw his shotgun across his arm and bade the crowd disperse +Huck says: + + The crowd washed back sudden, and then broke all apart and went + tearing off every which way, and Buck Harkness he heeled it after + them, looking tolerable cheap. I could a staid if I'd a wanted to, + but I didn't want to. + + I went to the circus, and loafed around the back side till the + watchman went by, and then dived in under the tent. + +That is all. No reflections, no hysterics; a murder and a mob dispersed, +all without a single moral comment. And when the Shepherdsons had got +done killing the Grangerfords, and Huck had tugged the two bodies ashore +and covered Buck Grangerford's face with a handkerchief, crying a little +because Buck had been good to him, he spent no time in sentimental +reflection or sermonizing, but promptly hunted up Jim and the raft and +sat down to a meal of corn-dodgers, buttermilk, pork and cabbage, and +greens: + + There ain't nothing in the world so good, when it is cooked right; + and while I eat my supper we talked, and had a good time. I was + powerful glad to get away from the feuds, and so was Jim to get away + from the swamp. We said there warn't no home like a raft, after + all. Other places do seem so cramped up and smothery, but a raft + don't; you feel mighty free and easy and comfortable on a raft. + +It was Huck Finn's morality that caused the book to be excluded from the +Concord Library, and from other libraries here and there at a later day. +The orthodox mental attitude of certain directors of juvenile literature +could not condone Huck's looseness in the matter of statement and +property rights, and in spite of New England traditions, Massachusetts +librarians did not take any too kindly to his uttered principle that, +after thinking it over and taking due thought on the deadly sin of +abolition, he had decided that he'd go to hell rather than give Jim over +to slavery. Poor vagrant Ben Blankenship, hiding his runaway negro in an +Illinois swamp, could not dream that his humanity would one day supply +the moral episode of an immortal book. + +Able critics have declared that the psychology of Huck Finn is the book's +large feature: Huck's moral point of view--the struggle between his heart +and his conscience concerning the sin of Jim's concealment, and his final +decision of self-sacrifice. Time may show that as an epic of the river, +the picture of a vanished day, it will rank even greater. The problems +of conscience we have always with us, but periods once passed are gone +forever. Certainly Huck's loyalty to that lovely soul Nigger Jim was +beautiful, though after all it may not have been so hard for Huck, who +could be loyal to anything. Huck was loyal to his father, loyal to Tom +Sawyer of course, loyal even to those two river tramps and frauds, the +King and the Duke, for whom he lied prodigiously, only weakening when a +new and livelier loyalty came into view--loyalty to Mary Wilks. + +The King and the Duke, by the way, are not elsewhere matched in fiction. +The Duke was patterned after a journeyman-printer Clemens had known in +Virginia City, but the King was created out of refuse from the whole +human family--"all tears and flapdoodle," the very ultimate of disrepute +and hypocrisy--so perfect a specimen that one must admire, almost love, +him. "Hain't we all the fools in town on our side? and ain't that a big +enough majority in any town?" he asks in a critical moment--a remark +which stamps him as a philosopher of classic rank. We are full of pity +at last when this pair of rapscallions ride out of the history on a rail, +and feel some of Huck's inclusive loyalty and all the sorrowful truth of +his comment: "Human beings can be awful cruel to one another." + +The "poor old king" Huck calls him, and confesses how he felt "ornery and +humble and to blame, somehow," for the old scamp's misfortunes. "A +person's conscience ain't got no sense," he says, and Huck is never more +real to us, or more lovable, than in that moment. Huck is what he is +because, being made so, he cannot well be otherwise. He is a boy +throughout--such a boy as Mark Twain had known and in some degree had +been. One may pettily pick a flaw here and there in the tale's +construction if so minded, but the moral character of Huck himself is not +open to criticism. And indeed any criticism of this the greatest of Mark +Twain's tales of modern life would be as the mere scratching of the +granite of an imperishable structure. Huck Finn is a monument that no +puny pecking will destroy. It is built of indestructible blocks of human +nature; and if the blocks do not always fit, and the ornaments do not +always agree, we need not fear. Time will blur the incongruities and +moss over the mistakes. The edifice will grow more beautiful with the +years. + + + + +CLIV + +THE MEMOIRS OF GENERAL GRANT + +The success of Huck Finn, though sufficiently important in itself, +prepared the way for a publishing venture by the side of which it +dwindled to small proportions. One night (it was early in November, +1884), when Cable and Clemens had finished a reading at Chickering Hall, +Clemens, coming out into the wet blackness, happened to hear Richard +Watson Gilder's voice say to some unseen companion: + +"Do you know General Grant has actually determined to write his memoirs +and publish them. He has said so to-day, in so many words." + +Of course Clemens was immediately interested. It was the thing he had +proposed to Grant some three years previously, during his call that day +with Howells concerning the Toronto consulship. + +With Mrs. Clemens, he promptly overtook Gilder and accompanied him to his +house, where they discussed the matter in its various particulars. +Gilder said that the Century Editors had endeavored to get Grant to +contribute to their war series, but that not until his financial +disaster, as a member of the firm of Grant & Ward, had he been willing to +consider the matter. He said that Grant now welcomed the idea of +contributing three papers to the series, and that the promised payment of +five hundred dollars each for these articles had gladdened his heart and +relieved him of immediate anxiety.--[Somewhat later the Century Company, +voluntarily, added liberally to this sum.] + +Gilder added that General Grant seemed now determined to continue his +work until he had completed a book, though this at present was only a +prospect. + +Clemens was in the habit of calling on Grant, now and then, to smoke a +cigar with him, and he dropped in next morning to find out just how far +the book idea had developed, and what were the plans of publication. He +found the General and his son, Colonel Fred Grant, discussing some +memoranda, which turned out to be a proposition from the Century Company +for the book publication of his memoirs. Clemens asked to be allowed to +look over the proposed terms, and when he had done so he said: + +"General, it is clear that the Century people do not realize the +importance--the commercial magnitude of your book. It is not strange +that this is true, for they are comparatively new publishers and have had +little or no experience with books of this class. The terms they propose +indicate that they expect to sell five, possibly ten thousand copies. A +book from your hand, telling the story of your life and battles, should +sell not less than a quarter of a million, perhaps twice that sum. It +should be sold only by subscription, and you are entitled to double the +royalty here proposed. I do not believe it is to your interest to +conclude this contract without careful thought and investigation. Write +to the American Publishing Company at Hartford and see what they will do +for you." + +But Grant demurred. He said that, while no arrangements had been made +with the Century Company, he thought it only fair and right that they +should have the book on reasonable terms; certainly on terms no greater +than he could obtain elsewhere. He said that, all things being equal, +the book ought to go to the man who had first suggested it to him. + +Clemens spoke up: "General, if that is so, it belongs to me." + +Grant did not understand until Clemens recalled to him how he had urged +him, in that former time, to write his memoirs; had pleaded with him, +agreeing to superintend the book's publication. Then he said: + +"General, I am publishing my own book, and by the time yours is ready it +is quite possible that I shall have the best equipped subscription +establishment in the country. If you will place your book with my firm-- +and I feel that I have at least an equal right in the consideration--I +will pay you twenty per cent. of the list price, or, if you prefer, I +will give you seventy per cent. of the net returns and I will pay all +office expenses out of my thirty per cent." + +General Grant was really grieved at this proposal. It seemed to him +that here was a man who was offering to bankrupt himself out of pure +philanthropy--a thing not to be permitted. He intimated that he had +asked the Century Company president, Roswell Smith, a careful-headed +business man, if he thought his book would pay as well as Sherman's, +which the Scribners had published at a profit to Sherman of twenty-five +thousand dollars, and that Smith had been unwilling to guarantee that +amount to the author.--[Mark Twain's note-book, under date of March, +1885, contains this memorandum: "Roswell Smith said to me: 'I'm glad you +got the book, Mr. Clemens; glad there was somebody with courage enough to +take it, under the circumstances. What do you think the General wanted +to require of me?' + +"'He wanted me to insure a sale of twenty-five thousand sets of his book. +I wouldn't risk such a guarantee on any book that was ever published.'" + +Yet Roswell Smith, not so many years later, had so far enlarged his views +of subscription publishing that he fearlessly and successfully invested a +million dollars or more in a dictionary, regardless of the fact that the +market was already thought to be supplied.] + +Clemens said: + +"General, I have my check-book with me. I will draw you a check now for +twenty-five thousand dollars for the first volume of your memoirs, and +will add a like amount for each volume you may write as an advance +royalty payment, and your royalties will continue right along when this +amount has been reached." + +Colonel Fred Grant now joined in urging that matters be delayed, at least +until more careful inquiry concerning the possibilities of publishing +could be made. + +Clemens left then, and set out on his trip with Cable, turning the whole +matter over to Webster and Colonel Fred for settlement. Meantime, the +word that General Grant was writing his memoirs got into the newspapers +and various publishing propositions came to him. In the end the General +sent over to Philadelphia for his old friend, George W. Childs, and laid +the whole matter before him. Childs said later it was plain that General +Grant, on the score of friendship, if for no other reason, distinctly +wished to give the book to Mark Twain. It seemed not to be a question of +how much money he would make, but of personal feeling entirely. +Webster's complete success with Huck Finn being now demonstrated, Colonel +Fred Grant agreed that he believed Clemens and Webster could handle the +book as profitably as anybody; and after investigation Childs was of the +same opinion. The decision was that the firm of Charles L. Webster & Co. +should have the book, and arrangements for drawing the contract were +made. + +General Grant, however, was still somewhat uneasy as to the terms. +He thought he was taking an unfair advantage in receiving so large a +proportion of the profits. He wrote to Clemens, asking him which of his +two propositions--the twenty per cent. gross-royalty or the seventy per +cent. of the net profit--would be the best all around. Clemens sent +Webster to tell him that he believed the simplest, as well as the most +profitable for the author, would be the twenty per cent. arrangement. +Whereupon Grant replied that he would take the alternative; as in that +case, if the book were a failure, and there were no profits, Clemens +would not be obliged to pay him anything. He could not consent to the +thought of receiving twenty per cent. on a book published at a loss. + +Meantime, Grant had developed a serious illness. The humiliation of his +business failure had undermined his health. The papers announced his +malady as cancer of the tongue. In a memorandum which Clemens made, +February 26, 1885, he states that on the 21st he called at the Grant +home, 3 East 66th Street, and was astonished to see how thin and weak the +General looked. He was astonished because the newspaper, in a second +report, had said the threatening symptoms had disappeared, that the +cancer alarm was a false one. + + I took for granted the report, and said I had been glad to see that + news. He smiled and said, "Yes--if it had only been true." + + One of the physicians was present, and he startled me by saying the + General's condition was the opposite of encouraging. + + Then the talk drifted to business, and the General presently said: + "I mean you shall have the book--I have about made up my mind to + that--but I wish to write to Mr. Roswell Smith first, and tell him I + have so decided. I think this is due him." + + From the beginning the General has shown a fine delicacy toward + those people--a delicacy which was native to the character of the + man who put into the Appomattox terms of surrender the words, + "Officers may retain their side-arms," to save General Lee the + humiliation of giving up his sword. [Note-book.] + +The physician present was Dr. Douglas, and upon Clemens assuming that the +General's trouble was probably due to smoking, also that it was a warning +to those who smoked to excess, himself included, Dr. Douglas said that +General Grant's affliction could not be attributed altogether to smoking, +but far more to his distress of mind, his year-long depression of spirit, +the grief of his financial disaster. Dr. Douglas's remark started +General Grant upon the subject of his connection with Ward, which he +discussed with great freedom and apparent relief of mind. Never at any +time did he betray any resentment toward Ward, but characterized him as +one might an offending child. He spoke as a man who has been deeply +wronged and humiliated and betrayed, but without a venomous expression or +one with revengeful nature. Clemens confessed in his notes that all the +time he himself was "inwardly boiling--scalping Ward--flaying him alive-- +breaking him on the wheel--pounding him to a jelly." + +While he was talking Colonel Grant said: + +"Father is letting you see that the Grant family are a pack of fools, Mr. +Clemens." + +The General objected to this statement. He said that the facts could be +produced which would show that when Ward laid siege to a man he was +pretty certain to turn out to be a fool; as much of a fool as any of the +Grant family. He said that nobody could call the president of the Erie +Railroad a fool, yet Ward had beguiled him of eight hundred thousand +dollars, robbed him of every cent of it. + +He cited another man that no one could call a fool who had invested in +Ward to the extent of half a million. He went on to recall many such +cases. He told of one man who had come to the office on the eve of +departure for Europe and handed Ward a check for fifty thousand dollars, +saying: + +"I have no use for it at present. See what you can do with it for me." +By and by this investor, returning from Europe, dropped in and said: + +"Well, did anything happen?" + +Ward indifferently turned to his private ledger, consulted it, then drew +a check for two hundred and fifty thousand dollars, and handed it over, +with the casual remark: + +"Well, yes, something happened; not much yet--a little too soon." + +The man stared at the check, then thrust it back into Ward's hand. +"That's all right. It's plenty good enough for me. Set that hen again," +and left the place. + +Of course Ward made no investments. His was the first playing on a +colossal scale of the now worn-out "get rich quick" confidence game. +Such dividends as were made came out of the principal. Ward was the +Napoleon of that game, whether he invented it or not. Clemens agreed +that, as far as himself or any of his relatives were concerned, they +would undoubtedly have trusted Ward. + +Colonel Grant followed him to the door when he left, and told him that +the physicians feared his father might not live more than a few weeks +longer, but that meantime he had been writing steadily, and that the +first volume was complete and fully half the second. Three days later +the formal contract was closed, and Webster & Co. promptly advanced. +General Grant ten thousand dollars for imminent demands, a welcome +arrangement, for Grant's debts and expenses were many, and his available +resources restricted to the Century payments for his articles. + +Immediately the office of Webster & Co. was warm with affairs. +Reporters were running hot-foot for news of the great contract by which +Mark Twain was to publish the life of General Grant. No publishing +enterprise of such vast moment had ever been undertaken, and no +publishing event, before or since, ever received the amount of newspaper +comment. The names of General Grant and Mark Twain associated would +command columns, whatever the event, and that Mark Twain was to become +the publisher of Grant's own story of his battles was of unprecedented +importance. + +The partners were sufficiently occupied. Estimates and prices for vast +quantities of paper were considered, all available presses were +contracted for, binderies were pledged exclusively for the Grant book. +Clemens was boiling over with plans and suggestions for distribution. +Webster was half wild with the tumult of the great campaign. +Applications for agencies poured in. + +In those days there were general subscription agencies which divided the +country into districts, and the heads of these agencies Webster summoned +to New York and laid down the law to them concerning the, new book. It +was not a time for small dealings, and Webster rose to the occasion. By +the time these men returned to their homes they had practically pledged +themselves to a quarter of a million sets of the Grant Memoirs, and this +estimate they believed to be conservative. + +Webster now moved into larger and more pretentious quarters. He took a +store-room at 42 East 14th Street, Union Square, and surrounded himself +with a capable force of assistants. He had become, all at once, the most +conspicuous publisher in the world. + + + + + +CLV + +DAYS WITH A DYING HERO + +The contract for the publication of the Grant Life was officially closed +February 27, 1885. Five days later, on the last day and at the last hour +of President Arthur's administration, and of the Congress then sitting, a +bill was passed placing Grant as full General, with full pay, on the +retired army list. The bill providing for this somewhat tardy +acknowledgment was rushed through at the last moment, and it is said that +the Congressional clock was set back so that this enactment might become +a law before the administration changed. + +Clemens was with General Grant when the news of this action was read to +him. Grant had greatly desired such recognition, and it meant more to +him than to any one present, yet Clemens in his notes records: + + Every face there betrayed strong excitement and emotion except one- + General Grant's. He read the telegram, but not a shade or + suggestion of a change exhibited itself in his iron countenance. + The volume of his emotion was greater than all the other emotions + there present combined, but he was able to suppress all expression + of it and make no sign. + +Grant's calmness, endurance, and consideration during these final days +astonished even those most familiar with his noble character. One night +Gerhardt came into the library at Hartford with the announcement that he +wished to show his patron a small bust he had been making in clay of +General Grant. Clemens did not show much interest in the prospect, but +when the work was uncovered he became enthusiastic. He declared it was +the first likeness he had ever seen of General Grant that approached +reality. He agreed that the Grant family ought to see it, and that he +would take Gerhardt with him next day in order that he might be within +reach in case they had any suggestions. They went to New York next +morning, and called at the Grant home during the afternoon. + +From the note-book: + + Friday, March 20, 1885. Gerhardt and I arrived at General Grant's + about 2.30 P.m. and I asked if the family would look at a small + clay bust of the General which Gerhardt had made from a photograph. + Colonel Fred and Jesse were absent to receive their sister, Mrs. + Sartoris, who would arrive from Europe about 4.30; but the three + Mrs. Grants examined the work and expressed strong approval of it, + and also great gratification that Mr. Gerhardt had undertaken it. + Mrs. Jesse Grant had lately dreamed that she was inquiring where the + maker of my bust could be found (she had seen a picture of it in + Huck Finn, which was published four weeks ago), for she wanted the + same artist to make one of General Grant. The ladies examined the + bust critically and pointed out defects, while Gerhardt made the + necessary corrections. Presently Mrs. General Grant suggested that + Gerhardt step in and look at the General. I had been in there + talking with the General, but had never thought of asking him to let + a stranger come in. So Gerhardt went in with the ladies and me, and + the inspection and cross-fire began: "There, I was sure his nose was + so and so," and, "I was sure his forehead was so and so," and, + "Don't you think his head is so and so?" And so everybody walked + around and about the old hero, who lay half reclining in his easy + chair, but well muffled up, and submitting to all this as serenely + as if he were used to being served so. One marked feature of + General Grant's character is his exceeding gentleness, goodness, + sweetness. Every time I have been in his presence--lately and + formerly--my mind was drawn to that feature. I wonder it has not + been more spoken of. + + Presently he said, let Gerhardt bring in his clay and work there, if + Gerhardt would not mind his reclining attitude. Of course we were + glad. A table for the bust was moved up in front of him; the ladies + left the room; I got a book; Gerhardt went to work; and for an hour + there was perfect stillness, and for the first time during the day + the General got a good, sound, peaceful nap. General Badeau came + in, and probably interrupted that nap. He spoke out as strongly as + the others concerning the great excellence of the likeness. He had + some sheets of MS. in his hand, and said, "I've been reading what + you wrote this morning, General, and it is of the utmost value; it + solves a riddle that has puzzled men's brains all these years and + makes the thing clear and rational." I asked what the puzzle was, + and he said, "It was why Grant did not immediately lay siege to + Vicksburg after capturing Port Hudson" (at least that is my + recollection, now toward midnight, of General Badeau's answer). + +The little bust of Grant which Gerhardt worked on that day was widely +reproduced in terra-cotta, and is still regarded by many as the most +nearly correct likeness of Grant. The original is in possession of the +family. + +General Grant worked industriously on his book. He had a superb memory +and worked rapidly. Webster & Co. offered to supply him with a +stenographer, and this proved a great relief. Sometimes he dictated ten +thousand words at a sitting. It was reported at the time, and it has +been stated since, that Grant did not write the Memoirs himself, but only +made notes, which were expanded by others. But this is not true. +General Grant wrote or dictated every word of the story himself, then had +the manuscript read aloud to him and made his own revisions. He wrote +against time, for he knew that his disease was fatal. Fortunately the +lease of life granted him was longer than he had hoped for, though the +last chapters were written when he could no longer speak, and when +weakness and suffering made the labor a heavy one indeed; but he never +flinched or faltered, never at any time suggested that the work be +finished by another hand. + +Early in April General Grant's condition became very alarming, and on the +night of the 3d it was believed he could not live until morning. But he +was not yet ready to surrender. He rallied and renewed his task; feebly +at first, but more perseveringly as each day seemed to bring a little +added strength, or perhaps it was only resolution. Now and then he +appeared depressed as to the quality of his product. Once Colonel Fred +Grant suggested to Clemens that if he could encourage the General a +little it might be worth while. Clemens had felt always such a reverence +and awe for the great soldier that he had never dreamed of complimenting +his literature. + +"I was as much surprised as Columbus's cook could have been to learn that +Columbus wanted his opinion as to how Columbus was doing his navigating." + +He did not hesitate to give it, however, and with a clear conscience. +Grant wrote as he had fought; with a simple, straightforward dignity, +with a style that is not a style at all but the very absence of it, and +therefore the best of all literary methods. It happened that Clemens had +been comparing some of Grant's chapters with Caesar's Commentaries, and +was able to say, in all sincerity, that the same high merits +distinguished both books: clarity of statement, directness, simplicity, +manifest truthfulness, fairness and justice toward friend and foe alike, +soldierly candor and frankness, and soldierly avoidance of flowery +speech. + +"I placed the two books side by side upon the same level," he said, "and +I still think that they belong there. I learned afterward that General +Grant was pleased with this verdict. It shows that he was just a man, +just a human being, just an author." + +Within two months after the agents had gone to work canvassing for the +Grant Memoirs--which is to say by the 1st of May, 1885--orders for sixty +thousand sets had been received, and on that day Mark Twain, in his note- +book, made a memorandum estimate of the number of books that the country +would require, figuring the grand total at three hundred thousand sets of +two volumes each. Then he says: + + If these chickens should really hatch according to my account, + General Grant's royalties will' amount to $420,000, and will make + the largest single check ever paid an author in the world's history. + Up to the present time the largest one ever paid was to Macaulay on + his History of England, L20,000. If I pay the General in silver + coin at $12 per pound it will weigh seventeen tons. + +Certainly this has a flavor in it of Colonel Sellers, but we shall see by +and by in how far this calculation was justified. + +Grant found the society of Mark Twain cheering and comforting, and +Clemens held himself in readiness to go to the dying man at call. On the +26th of May he makes this memorandum: + + It is curious and dreadful to sit up in this way and talk cheerful + nonsense to General Grant, and he under sentence of death with that + cancer. He says he has made the book too large by 200 pages--not a + bad fault. A short time ago we were afraid we would lack 400 of + being enough. + + To-day talked with General Grant about his and my first great + Missouri campaign in 1861. He surprised an empty camp near Florida, + Missouri, on Salt River, which I had been occupying a day or two + before. How near he came to playing the devil with his future + publisher. + +Of course Clemens would amuse the old commander with the tale of his +soldiering, how his company had been chased through the brush and mud by +the very announcement that Grant was coming. Some word of this got to +the Century editors, who immediately proposed that Mark Twain contribute +to the magazine War Series the story of his share in the Rebellion, and +particularly of his war relations with General Grant. So the "Private +History of a Campaign that Failed" was prepared as Mark Twain's side- +light on the history of the Rebellion; and if it was not important +history it was at least amusing, and the telling of that tale in Mark +Twain's inimitable fashion must have gone far toward making cheerful +those last sad days of his ancient enemy. + +During one of their talks General Grant spoke of the question as to +whether he or Sherman had originated the idea of the march to the sea. +Grant said: + +"Neither of us originated the idea of that march. The enemy did it." + +Reports were circulated of estrangements between General Grant and the +Century Company, and between Mark Twain and the Century Company, as a +result of the book decision. Certain newspapers exploited and magnified +these rumors--some went so far as to accuse Mark Twain of duplicity, and +to charge him with seeking to obtain a vast fortune for himself at the +expense of General Grant and his family. All of which was the merest +nonsense. The Century Company, Webster & Co., General Grant, and Mark +Twain individually, were all working harmoniously, and nothing but the +most cordial relations and understanding prevailed. As to the charge of +unfair dealing on the part of Mark Twain, this was too absurd, even then, +to attract more than momentary attention. Webster & Co., somewhat later +in the year, gave to the press a clear statement of their publishing +arrangement, though more particularly denying the report that General +Grant had been unable to complete his work. + + + + +CLVI + +THE CLOSE OF A GREAT CAREER + +The Clemens household did not go to Elmira that year until the 27th of +June. Meantime General Grant had been taken to Mount McGregor, near the +Adirondacks. The day after Clemens reached Elmira there came a summons +saying that the General had asked to see him. He went immediately, and +remained several days. The resolute old commander was very feeble by +this time. It was three months since he had been believed to be dying, +yet he was still alive, still at work, though he could no longer speak. +He was adding, here and there, a finishing touch to his manuscript, +writing with effort on small slips of paper containing but a few words +each. His conversation was carried on in the same way. Mark Twain +brought back a little package of those precious slips, and some of them +are still preserved. The writing is perfectly legible, and shows no +indication of a trembling hand. + +On one of these slips is written: + + There is much more that I could do if I was a well man. I do not + write quite as clearly as I could if well. If I could read it over + myself many little matters of anecdote and incident would suggest + themselves to me. + +On another: + + Have you seen any portion of the second volume? It is up to the + end, or nearly so. As much more work as I have done to-day will + finish it. I have worked faster than if I had been well. I have + used my three boys and a stenographer. + +And on still another: + + If I could have two weeks of strength I could improve it very much. + As I am, however, it will have to go about as it is, with + verifications by the boys and by suggestions which will enable me to + make a point clear here and there. + +Certainly no campaign was ever conducted with a braver heart. As long as +his fingers could hold a pencil he continued at his task. Once he asked +if any estimate could now be made of what portion would accrue to his +family from the publication. Clemens's prompt reply, that more than one +hundred thousand sets had been sold, and that already the amount of his +share, secured by safe bonds, exceeded one hundred and fifty thousand +dollars, seemed to give him deep comfort. Clemens told him that the +country was as yet not one-third canvassed, and that without doubt there +turns would be twice as much more by the end of the year. Grant made no +further inquiry, and probably never again mentioned the subject to any +one. + +When Clemens left, General Grant was sitting, fully dressed, with a shawl +about his shoulders, pencil and paper beside him. It was a picture that +would never fade from the memory. In a later memorandum he says: + + I then believed he would live several months. He was still adding + little perfecting details to his book, and preface, among other + things. He was entirely through a few days later. Since then the + lack of any strong interest to employ his mind has enabled the + tedious weariness to kill him. I think his book kept him alive + several months. He was a very great man and superlatively good. + +This note was made July 23, 1885, at 10 A.M., on receipt of the news that +General Grant was dead. To Henry Ward Beecher, Clemens wrote: + + One day he put his pencil aside and said there was nothing more to + do. If I had been there I could have foretold the shock that struck + the world three days later. + +It can be truly said that all the nation mourned. General Grant had no +enemies, political or sectional, in those last days. The old soldier +battling with a deadly disease, yet bravely completing his task, was a +figure at once so pathetic and so noble that no breath of animosity +remained to utter a single word that was not kind. + +Memorial services were held from one end of the country to the other. +Those who had followed him in peace or war, those who had fought beside +him or against him, alike paid tribute to his memory. Twichell, from the +mountains of Vermont, wrote: + + I suppose I have said to Harmony forty times since I got up here, + "How I wish I could see Mark!" My notion is that between us we could + get ourselves expressed. I have never known any one who could help + me read my own thoughts in such a case as you can and have done many + a time, dear old fellow. + + I'd give more to sit on a log with you in the woods this afternoon, + while we twined a wreath together for Launcelot's grave, than + to hear any conceivable eulogy of him pronounced by mortal lips. + +The death of Grant so largely and so suddenly augmented the orders for +his Memoirs that it seemed impossible to get the first volume printed in +time for the delivery, which had been promised for December 1st. J. J. +Little had the contract of manufacture, and every available press and +bindery was running double time to complete the vast contract. + +In the end more than three hundred thousand sets of two volumes each were +sold, and between four hundred and twenty and four hundred and fifty +thousand dollars was paid to Mrs. Grant. The first check of two hundred +thousand dollars, drawn February 27, 1886, remains the largest single +royalty check in history. Mark Twain's prophecy had been almost exactly +verified. + + + + +CLVII + +MINOR MATTERS OF A GREAT YEAR + +The Grant episode, so important in all its phases, naturally overshadowed +other events of 1885. Mark Twain was so deeply absorbed in this great +publishing enterprise that he wasted little thought or energy in other +directions. + +Yet there are a few minor things that it seems worth while to remember. +Howells has told something of the Authors' Reading given for the +Longfellow Memorial, an entertainment managed by George Parsons Lathrop, +though Howells justly claims the glory of having fixed the price of +admission at five dollars. Then he recalls a pleasing anecdote of +Charles Eliot Norton, who introduced the attractions. + +Norton presided, and when it came Clemens's turn to read he introduced +him with such exquisite praises as he best knew how to give, but before +he closed he fell a prey to one of those lapses of tact which are the +peculiar peril of people of the greatest tact. He was reminded of +Darwin's delight in Mark Twain, and how when he came from his long day's +exhausting study, and sank into bed at midnight, he took up a volume of +Mark Twain, whose books he always kept on a table beside him, and +whatever had been his tormenting problem, or excess of toil, he felt +secure of a good night's rest from it. A sort of blank ensued which +Clemens filled in the only possible way. He said he should always be +glad he had contributed to the repose of that great man, to whom science +owed so much, and then without waiting for the joy in every breast to +burst forth, he began to read. + +Howells tells of Mark Twain's triumph on this occasion, and in a letter +at the time he wrote: "You simply straddled down to the footlights and +took that house up in the hollow of your hand and tickled it." + +Howells adds that the show netted seventeen hundred dollars. This was +early in May. + +Of literary work, beyond the war paper, the "Private History of a +Campaign that Failed" (published December, 1885), Clemens appears to have +done very little. His thoughts were far too busy with plans for +furthering the sale of the great military Memoir to follow literary +ventures of his own. At one time he was impelled to dictate an +autobiography--Grant's difficulties in his dying hour suggesting this-- +and he arranged with Redpath, who was no longer a lecture agent and +understood stenography, to co-operate with him in the work. He dictated +a few chapters, but he was otherwise too much occupied to continue. +Also, he was unused to dictation, and found it hard and the result +unsatisfactory. + +Two open communications from Mark Twain that year deserve to be +remembered. One of these; unsigned, was published in the Century +Magazine, and expressed the need for a "universal tinker," the man who +can accept a job in a large household or in a community as master of all +trades, with sufficient knowledge of each to be ready to undertake +whatever repairs are likely to be required in the ordinary household, +such as--"to put in windowpanes, mend gas leaks, jack-plane the edges of +doors that won't shut, keep the waste-pipe and other water-pipe joints, +glue and otherwise repair havoc done in furniture, etc." The letter was +signed X. Y. Z., and it brought replies from various parts of the world. +None of the applicants seemed universally qualified, but in Kansas City a +business was founded on the idea, adopting "The Universal Tinker" as its +firm name. + +The other letter mentioned was written to the 'Christian Union', inspired +by a tale entitled, "What Ought We to Have Done?" It was a tale +concerning the government of children; especially concerning the +government of one child--John Junior--a child who, as it would appear +from the tale, had a habit of running things pretty much to his own +notion. The performance of John junior, and of his parents in trying to +manage him, stirred Mark Twain considerably--it being "enough to make a +body's blood boil," as he confesses--and it impelled him to set down +surreptitiously his impressions of what would have happened to John +Junior as a member of the Clemens household. He did not dare to show the +communication to Mrs. Clemens before he sent it, for he knew pretty well +what its fate would be in that case. So he took chances and printed it +without her knowledge. The letter was published July 16, 1885. It is +too long to be included entire, but it is too illuminating to be +altogether omitted. After relating, in considerable detail, Mrs. +Clemens's method of dealing with an unruly child--the gentleness yet +firmness of her discipline--he concludes: + + The mother of my children adores them--there is no milder term for + it--and they worship her; they even worship anything which the touch + of her hand has made sacred. They know her for the best and truest + friend they have ever had, or ever shall have; they know her for one + who never did them a wrong, and cannot do them a wrong; who never + told them a lie, nor the shadow of one; who never deceived them by + even an ambiguous gesture; who never gave them an unreasonable + command, nor ever contented herself with anything short of a perfect + obedience; who has always treated them as politely and considerately + as she would the best and oldest in the land, and has always + required of them gentle speech and courteous conduct toward all, of + whatsoever degree with whom they chanced to come in contact; they + know her for one whose promise, whether of reward or punishment, is + gold, and always worth its face, to the uttermost farthing. In a + word, they know her, and I know her, for the best and dearest mother + that lives--and by a long, long way the wisest.... + + In all my life I have never made a single reference to my wife in + print before, as far as I can remember, except once in the + dedication of a book; and so, after these fifteen years of silence, + perhaps I may unseal my lips this one time without impropriety or + indelicacy. I will institute one other novelty: I will send this + manuscript to the press without her knowledge and without asking her + to edit it. This will save it from getting edited into the stove. + +Susy's biography refers to this incident at considerable length. She +states that her father had misgivings after he had sent it to the +Christian Union, and that he tried to recall the manuscript, but found it +too late. She sets down some comments of her own on her mother's +government, then tells us of the appearance of the article: + +When the Christian Union reached the farm and papa's article in it, all +ready and waiting to be read to mama, papa hadn't the courage to show it +to her (for he knew she wouldn't like it at all) at first, and he didn't, +but he might have let it go and never let her see it; but finally he gave +his consent to her seeing it, and told Clara and I we could take it to +her, which we did with tardiness, and we all stood around mama while she +read it, all wondering what she would say and think about it. + +She was too much surprised (and pleased privately too) to say much at +first; but, as we all expected, publicly (or rather when she remembered +that this article was to be read by every one that took the Christian +Union) she was rather shocked and a little displeased. + +Susy goes on to tell that the article provoked a number of letters, most +of them pleasant ones, but some of them of quite another sort. One of +the latter fell into her mother's hands, after which there was general +regret that the article had been printed, and the subject was no longer +discussed at Quarry Farm. + +Susy's biography is a unique record. It was a sort of combined memoir +and journal, charming in its innocent frankness and childish insight. +She used to keep it under her pillow, and after she was asleep the +parents would steal it out and find a tender amusement and pathos in its +quaint entries. It is a faithful record so far as it goes, and the +period it covers is an important one; for it presents a picture of Mark +Twain in the fullness of his manhood, in the golden hour of his fortune. +Susy's beginning has a special value here:--[Susy's' spelling and +punctuation are preserved.] + + We are a very happy family! We consist of papa, mama, Jean, Clara + and me. It is papa I am writing about, and I shall have no trouble + in not knowing what to say about him, as he is a very striking + character. Papa's appearance has been described many times, but + very incorrectly; he has beautiful curly grey hair, not any too + thick, or any too long, just right; a Roman nose, which greatly + improves the beauty of his features, kind blue eyes, and a small + mustache, he has a wonderfully shaped head, and profile, he has a + very good figure in short he is an extraordinarily fine looking man. + All his features are perfect, except that he hasn't extraordinary + teeth. His complexion is very fair, and he doesn't ware a beard: + + He is a very good man, and a very funny one; he has got a temper but + we all of us have in this family. He is the loveliest man I ever + saw, or ever hope to see, and oh so absent-minded! + +That this is a fair statement of the Clemens home, and the truest picture +of Mark Twain at fifty that has been preserved, cannot be doubted. His +hair was iron-gray, not entirely white at this time, the auburn tints +everywhere mingled with the shining white that later would mantle it like +a silver crown. He did not look young for his years, but he was still +young, always young--indestructibly young in spirit and bodily vigor. +Susy tells how that summer he blew soap-bubbles for the children, filling +the bubbles with tobacco smoke; how he would play with the cats, and come +clear down from his study on the hill to see how "Sour Mash," then a +kitten, was getting along; also how he wrote a poem for Jean's donkey, +Cadichon (which they made Kiditchin): She quotes the poem: + + KIDITCHIN + + O du lieb' Kiditchin + Du bist ganz bewitchin, + Waw- - - -he! + + In summer days Kiditchin + Thou'rt dear from nose to britchin + Waw----he! + + No dought thoult get a switchin + When for mischief thou'rt itchin' + Waw- - - -he! + + But when you're good Kiditchin + You shall feast in James's kitchin + Waw- - - -he! + + O now lift up thy song + Thy noble note prolong + Thou living Chinese gong! + Waw---he! waw---he waw + Sweetest donkey man ever saw. + + +Clemens undertook to ride Kiditchin one day, to show the children how it +should be done, but Kiditchin resented this interference and promptly +flung him over her head. He thought she might have been listening to the +poem he had written of her. + +Susy's discovery that the secret of her biography was known is shown by +the next entry, and the touch of severity in it was probably not entirely +unconscious: + + Papa said the other day, "I am a mugwump and a mugwump is pure from + the marrow out." (Papa knows that I am writing this biography of + him, and he said this for it.) He doesn't like to go to church at + all, why I never understood, until just now. He told us the other + day that he couldn't bear to hear anyone talk but himself, but that + he could listen to himself talk for hours without getting tired, of + course he said this in joke, but I've no doubt it was founded on + truth. + +Susy's picture of life at Quarry Farm at this period is realistic and +valuable--too valuable to be spared from this biography: + + There are eleven cats at the farm here now. Papa's favorite is a + little tortoise-shell kitten he has named "Sour Mash," and a little + spotted one "Fannie." It is very pretty to see what papa calls the + cat procession; it was formed in this way. Old Minniecat headed, + (the mother of all the cats) next to her came aunt Susie, then Clara + on the donkey, accompanied by a pile of cats, then papa and Jean + hand in hand and a pile of cats brought up in the rear, mama and I + made up the audience. + + Our varius occupations are as follows. Papa rises about 1/2 past 7 + in the morning, breakfasts at eight, writes, plays tennis with Clara + and me and tries to make the donkey go, in the morning; does varius + things in P.M., and in the evening plays tennis with Clara and me + and amuses Jean and the donkey. + + Mama rises about 1/4 to eight, breakfasts at eight, teaches Jean + German reading from 9-10; reads German with me from 10-11. Then she + reads studdies or visits with aunt Susie for a while, and then she + reads to Clara and I till lunch time things connected with English + history (for we hope to go to England next summer) while we sew. + Then we have lunch. She studdies for about half an hour or visits + with aunt Susie, then reads to us an hour or more, then studdies + writes reads and rests till supper time. After supper she sits out + on the porch and works till eight o'clock, from eight o'clock to + bedtime she plays whist with papa and after she has retired she + reads and studdies German for a while. + + Clara and I do most everything from practicing to donkey riding and + playing tag. While Jean's time is spent in asking mama what she can + have to eat. + +It is impossible, at this distance, to convey all that the farm meant to +the children during the summers of their infancy and childhood and +girlhood which they spent there. It was the paradise, the dreamland they +looked forward to during all the rest of the year. Through the long, +happy months there they grew strong and brown, and drank deeply of the +joy of life. Their cousins Julia, Jervis, and Ida Langdon ranged about +their own ages and were almost their daily companions. Their games were +mainly of the out-of-doors; the woods and meadows and hillside pastures +were their playground. Susy was thirteen when she began her diary; a +gentle, thoughtful, romantic child. One afternoon she discovered a +wonderful tangle of vines and bushes between the study and the sunset--a +rare hiding-place. She ran breathlessly to her aunt: + +"Can I have it? Can Clara and I have it all for our own?" + +The petition was granted, of course, and the place was named Helen's +Bower, for they were reading Thaddeus of Warsaw and the name appealed to +Susy's poetic fancy. Then Mrs. Clemens conceived the idea of building a +house for the children just beyond the bower. It was a complete little +cottage when finished, with a porch and with furnishings contributed by +friends and members of the family. There was a stove--a tiny affair, but +practical--dishes, table, chairs, shelves, and a broom. The little house +was named Ellerslie, out of Grace Aguilar's Days of Robert Bruce, and +became one of the children's most beloved possessions. But alas for +Helen's Bower! A workman was sent to clear away the debris after the +builders, and being a practical man, he cut away Helen's Bower--destroyed +it utterly. Susy first discovered the vandalism, and came rushing to the +house in a torrent of sorrow. For her the joy of life seemed ended, and +it was long before she could be comforted. But Ellerslie in time +satisfied her hunger for retreat, became, in fact, the nucleus around +which the children's summer happiness centered. + +To their elders the farm remained always the quiet haven. Once to +Orion's wife Clemens wrote: + + This is a superb Sunday . . . . + + The city in the valley is purple with shade, as seen from up here at + the study. The Cranes are reading and loafing in the canvas- + curtained summer-house, fifty yards away, on a higher (the highest) + point; the cats are loafing over at Ellerslie, which is the + children's estate and dwelling house in their own private grounds + (by deed from Susie Crane), a hundred yards from the study, among + the clover and young oaks and willows. Livy is down at the house, + but I shall now go and bring her up to the Cranes to help us occupy + the lounges and hammocks, whence a great panorama of distant hills + and valley and city is seeable. The children have gone on a lark + through the neighboring hills and woods, Susie and Clara horseback + and Jean, driving a buggy, with the coachman for comrade and + assistant at need. It is a perfect day indeed. + +The ending of each year's summer brought only regret. Clemens would +never take away all his things. He had an old superstition that to leave +some article insured return. Mrs. Clemens also left something--her +heart's content. The children went around bidding various objects good- +by and kissed the gates of Ellerslie too. + + + + +CLVIII + +MARK TWAIN AT FIFTY + +Mark Twain's fiftieth birthday was one of the pleasantly observed events +of that year. There was no special celebration, but friends sent kindly +messages, and The Critic, then conducted by Jeannette and Joseph Gilder, +made a feature of it. Miss Gilder wrote to Oliver Wendell Holmes and +invited some verses, which with his never-failing kindliness he sent, +though in his accompanying note he said: + +"I had twenty-three letters spread out on my table for answering, all +marked immediate, when your note came." + +Dr. Holmes's stanzas are full of his gentle spirit: + + + TO MARK TWAIN + + (On his fiftieth birthday) + + Ah, Clemens, when I saw thee last, + We both of us were younger; + How fondly mumbling o'er the past + Is Memory's toothless hunger! + + So fifty years have fled, they say, + Since first you took to drinking; + I mean in Nature's milky way + Of course no ill I'm thinking. + + But while on life's uneven road + Your track you've been pursuing, + What fountains from your wit have flowed + What drinks you have been brewing! + + I know whence all your magic came, + Your secret I've discovered, + The source that fed your inward flame, + The dreams that round you hovered. + + Before you learned to bite or munch, + Still kicking in your cradle, + The Muses mixed a bowl of punch + And Hebe seized the ladle. + + Dear babe, whose fiftieth year to-day + Your ripe half-century rounded, + Your books the precious draught betray + The laughing Nine compounded. + + So mixed the sweet, the sharp, the strong, + Each finds its faults amended, + The virtues that to each belong + In happiest union blended. + + And what the flavor can surpass + Of sugar, spirit, lemons? + So while one health fills every glass + Mark Twain for Baby Clemens! + + OLIVER WENDELL HOLMES. + + +Frank R. Stockton, Charles Dudley Warner, and Joel Chandler Harris sent +pleasing letters. Warner said: + + You may think it an easy thing to be fifty years old, but you will + find it's not so easy to stay there, and your next fifty years will + slip away much faster than those just accomplished. + +Many wrote letters privately, of course, and Andrew Lang, like Holmes, +sent a poem that has a special charm. + + + FOR MARK TWAIN + + To brave Mark Twain, across the sea, + The years have brought his jubilee. + One hears it, half in pain, + That fifty years have passed and gone + Since danced the merry star that shone + Above the babe Mark Twain. + + We turn his pages and we see + The Mississippi flowing free; + We turn again and grin + O'er all Tom Sawyer did and planned + With him of the ensanguined hand, + With Huckleberry Finn! + + Spirit of Mirth, whose chime of bells + Shakes on his cap, and sweetly swells + Across the Atlantic main, + Grant that Mark's laughter never die, + That men through many a century + May chuckle o'er Mark Twain! + + +Assuredly Mark Twain was made happy by these attentions; to Dr. Holmes he +wrote: + +DEAR DR. HOLMES,--I shall never be able to tell you the half of how +proud you have made me. If I could you would say you were nearly paid +for the trouble you took. And then the family: If I could convey the +electrical surprise and gratitude and exaltation of the wife and the +children last night, when they happened upon that Critic where I had, +with artful artlessness, spread it open and retired out of view to see +what would happen--well, it was great and fine and beautiful to see, and +made me feel as the victor feels when the shouting hosts march by: and if +you also could have seen it you would have said the account was squared. +For I have brought them up in your company, as in the company of a warm +and friendly and beneficent but far-distant sun; and so, for you to do +this thing was for the sun to send down out of the skies the miracle of a +special ray and transfigure me before their faces. I knew what that poem +would be to them; I knew it would raise me up to remote and shining +heights in their eyes, to very fellowship with the chambered Nautilus +itself, and that from that fellowship they could never more dissociate me +while they should live; and so I made sure to be by when the surprise +should come. + +Charles Dudley Warner is charmed with the poem for its own felicitous +sake; and so indeed am I, but more because it has drawn the sting of my +fiftieth year; taken away the pain of it, the grief of it, the somehow +shame of it, and made me glad and proud it happened. + + With reverence and affection, + Sincerely yours, + S. L. CLEMENS. + + +So Samuel Clemens had reached the half-century mark; reached it in what +seemed the fullness of success from every viewpoint. If he was not yet +the foremost American man of letters, he was at least the most widely +known he sat upon the highest mountain-top. Furthermore, it seemed to +him that fortune was showering her gifts into his lap. His unfortunate +investments were now only as the necessary experiments that had led him +to larger successes. As a publisher, he was already the most conspicuous +in the world, and he contemplated still larger ventures: a type-setting +machine patent, in which he had invested, and now largely controlled, he +regarded as the chief invention of the age, absolutely certain to yield +incalculable wealth. His connection with the Grant family had associated +him with an enterprise looking to the building of a railway from +Constantinople to the Persian Gulf. Charles A. Dana, of the Sun, had +put him in the way of obtaining for publication the life of the Pope, Leo +XIII, officially authorized by the Pope himself, and this he regarded as +a certain fortune. + +Now that the tide had turned he felt no hesitancy in reckoning a fortune +from almost any venture. The Grant book, even on the liberal terms +allowed to the author, would yield a net profit of one hundred and fifty +thousand dollars to its publishers. Huck Finn would yield fifty thousand +dollars more. The sales of his other books had considerably increased. +Certainly, at fifty, Mark Twain's fortunes were at flood-tide; buoyant +and jubilant, he was floating on the topmost wave. If there were +undercurrents and undertow they were down somewhere out of sight. If +there were breakers ahead, they were too far distant to be heard. So +sure was he of the triumphant consummation of every venture that to a +friend at his home one night he said: + +"I am frightened at the proportions of my prosperity. It seems to me +that whatever I touch turns to gold." + + + + +CLIX + +THE LIFE OF THE POPE + +As Mark Twain in the earlier days of his marriage had temporarily put +aside authorship to join in a newspaper venture, so now again literature +had dropped into the background, had become an avocation, while financial +interests prevailed. There were two chief ventures--the business of +Charles L. Webster & Co. and the promotion of the Paige type-setting +machine. They were closely identified in fortunes, so closely that in +time the very existence of each depended upon the success of the other; +yet they were quite distinct, and must be so treated in this story. + +The success of the Grant Life had given the Webster business an immense +prestige. It was no longer necessary to seek desirable features for +publication. They came uninvited. Other war generals preparing their +memoirs naturally hoped to appear with their great commander. +McClellan's Own Story was arranged for without difficulty. A Genesis of +the Civil War, by Gen. Samuel Wylie Crawford, was offered and accepted. +General Sheridan's Memoirs were in preparation, and negotiations with +Webster & Co. for their appearance were not delayed. Probably neither +Webster nor Clemens believed that the sale of any of these books would +approach those of the Grant Life, but they expected them to be large, for +the Grant book had stimulated the public taste for war literature, and +anything bearing the stamp of personal battle experience was considered +literary legal-tender. + +Moreover, these features, and even the Grant book itself, seemed likely +to dwindle in importance by the side of The Life of Pope Leo XIII., who +in his old and enfeebled age had consented to the preparation of a +memoir, to be published with his sanction and blessing.--[By Bernard +O'Reilly, D.D., LL.D. "Written with the Encouragement, Approbation, and +Blessings of His Holiness the Pope."]--Clemens and Webster--every one, +in fact, who heard of the project--united in the belief that no book, +with the exception of the Holy Scripture itself or the Koran, would have +a wider acceptance than the biography of the Pope. It was agreed by good +judges--and they included Howells and Twichell and even the shrewd +general agents throughout the country--that every good Catholic would +regard such a book not only as desirable, but as absolutely necessary to +his salvation. Howells, recalling Clemens's emotions of this time, +writes: + + He had no words in which to paint the magnificence of the project or + to forecast its colossal success. It would have a currency bounded + only by the number of Catholics in Christendom. It would be + translated into every language which was anywhere written or + printed; it would be circulated literally in every country of the + globe. + +The formal contract for this great undertaking was signed in Rome in +April, 1886, and Webster immediately prepared to go over to consult with +his Holiness in person as to certain details, also, no doubt, for the +newspaper advertising which must result from such an interview. + +It was decided to carry a handsome present to the Pope in the form of a +specially made edition of the Grant Memoirs in a rich-casket, and it was +Clemens's idea that the binding of the book should be solid gold--this to +be done by Tiffany at an estimated cost of about three thousand dollars. +In the end, however, the binding was not gold, but the handsomest that +could be designed of less precious and more appropriate materials. + +Webster sailed toward the end of June, and was warmly received and highly +honored in Rome. The great figures of the Grant success had astonished +Europe even more than America, where spectacular achievements were more +common. That any single publication should pay a profit to author and +publisher of six hundred thousand dollars was a thing which belonged with +the wonders of Aladdin's garden. It was natural, therefore, that +Webster, who had rubbed the magic lamp with this result, who was Mark +Twain's partner, and who had now traveled across the seas to confer with +the Pope himself, should be received with royal honors. In letters +written at the time, Webster relates how he found it necessary to have an +imposing carriage and a footman to maintain the dignity of his mission, +and how, after various impressive formalities, he was granted a private +audience, a very special honor indeed. Webster's letter gives us a +picture of his Holiness which is worth preserving. + + We--[Mrs. Webster, who, the reader will remember, was Annie Moffett, + a daughter of Pamela Clemens, was included in the invitation to the + Presence Chamber.]--found ourselves in a room perhaps twenty-five by + thirty-five feet; the furniture was gilt, upholstered in light-red + silk, and the side-walls were hung with the same material. Against + the wall by which we entered and in the middle space was a large + gilt throne chair, upholstered in red plush, and upon it sat a man + bowed with age; his hair was silvery white and as pure as the driven + snow. His head was partly covered with a white skullcap; he was + dressed in a long white cassock which reached to his feet, which + rested upon a red-plush cushion and were inclosed in red embroidered + slippers with a design of a cross. A golden chain was about his + neck and suspended by it in his lap was a gold cross set in precious + stones. Upon a finger of his right hand was a gold ring with an + emerald setting nearly an inch in diameter. His countenance was + smiling, and beamed with benevolence. His face at once impressed us + as that of a noble, pure man who could not do otherwise than good. + + This was the Pope of Rome, and as we advanced, making the three + genuflexions prescribed by etiquette, he smiled benignly upon us. + We advanced and, kneeling at his feet, kissed the seal upon his + ring. He took us each by the hand repeatedly during the audience + and made us perfectly at our ease. + +They remained as much as half an hour in the Presence; and the Pope +conversed on a variety of subjects, including the business failure of +General Grant, his last hours, and the great success of his book. The +figures seemed to him hardly credible, and when Webster assured him that +already a guaranteed sale of one hundred thousand copies of his own +biography had been pledged by the agents he seemed even more astonished. +"We in Italy cannot comprehend such things," he said. "I know you do +great work in America; I know you have done a great and noble work in +regard to General Grant's book, but that my Life should have such a sale +seems impossible." + +He asked about their home, their children, and was in every way the +kindly, gentle-hearted man that his pictured face has shown him. Then he +gave them his final blessing and the audience closed. + + We each again kissed the seal on his ring. As Annie was about to + kiss it he suddenly withdrew his hand and said, "And will you, a + little Protestant, kiss the Pope's ring?" As he said this, his face + was all smiles, and mischief was clearly delineated upon it. He + immediately put back his hand and she kissed the ring. We now + withdrew, backing out and making three genuflexions as before. Just + as we reached the door he called to Dr. O'Reilly, "Now don't praise + me too much; tell the truth, tell the truth." + + + + +CLX + +A GREAT PUBLISHER AT HOME + +Men are likely to be spoiled by prosperity, to be made arrogant, even +harsh. Success made Samuel Clemens merely elate, more kindly, more +humanly generous. Every day almost he wrote to Webster, suggesting some +new book or venture, but always considerately, always deferring to +suggestions from other points of view. Once, when it seemed to him that +matters were not going as well as usual, a visit from Webster showed him +that it was because of his own continued absence from the business that +he did not understand. Whereupon he wrote: + + DEAR CHARLEY,--Good--it's all good news. Everything is on the + pleasantest possible basis now, and is going to stay so. I blame + myself in not looking in on you oftener in the past--that would have + prevented all trouble. I mean to stand to my duty better now. + +At another time, realizing the press of responsibility, and that Webster +was not entirely well, he sent a warning from Mrs. Clemens against +overwork. He added: + + Your letter shows that you need such a warning. So I warn you + myself to look after that. Overwork killed Mr. Langdon and it can + kill you. + +Clemens found his own cares greatly multiplied. His connection with the +firm was widely known, and many authors sent him their manuscripts or +wrote him personal letters concerning them. Furthermore, he was beset by +all the cranks and beggars in Christendom. His affairs became so +numerous at length that he employed a business agent, F. G. Whitmore, to +relieve him of a part of his burden. Whitmore lived close by, and was a +good billiard-player. Almost anything from the morning mail served as an +excuse to send for Whitmore. + +Clemens was fond of affairs when they were going well; he liked the game +of business, especially when it was pretentious and showily prosperous. +It is probable that he was never more satisfied with his share of fortune +than just at this time. Certainly his home life was never happier. +Katie Leary, for thirty years in the family service, has set down some +impressions of that pleasant period. + + Mr. Clemens was a very affectionate father. He seldom left the + house at night, but would read to the family, first to the children + until bedtime, afterward to Mrs. Clemens. He usually read Browning + to her. They were very fond of it. The children played charades a + great deal, and he was wonderful at that game and always helped + them. They were very fond of private theatricals. Every Saturday + of their lives they had a temporary stage put up in the school-room + and we all had to help. Gerhardt painted the scenery. They + frequently played the balcony scene from "Romeo and Juliet" and + several plays they wrote themselves. Now and then we had a big + general performance of "The Prince and the Pauper." That would be + in the library and the dining-room with the folding-doors open. The + place just held eighty-four chairs, and the stage was placed back + against the conservatory. The children were crazy about acting and + we all enjoyed it as much as they did, especially Mr. Clemens, who + was the best actor of all. I had a part, too, and George. I have + never known a happier household than theirs was during those years. + + Mr. Clemens spent most of his time up in the billiard-room, writing + or playing billiards. One day when I went in, and he was shooting + the balls around the tables, I noticed smoke coming up from the + hearth. I called Patrick, and John O'Neill, the gardener, and we + began taking up the hearth to see what was the matter. Mr. Clemens + kept on playing billiards right along and paid no attention to what + we were doing. Finally, when we got the hearth up, a lot of flame + and smoke came out into the room. The house was on fire. Mr. + Clemens noticed then what we were about, and went over to the corner + where there were some bottle fire-extinguishers. He took one down + and threw it into the flames. This put them out a good deal, and he + took up his cue, went back to the table, and began to shoot the + balls around again as if nothing had happened. Mrs. Clemens came in + just then and said, "Why, the house is afire!" + + "Yes, I know it," he said, but went on playing. + + We had a telephone and it didn't work very well. It annoyed him a + good deal and sometimes he'd say: + + "I'll tear it out." + + One day he tried to call up Mrs. Dr. Tafft. He could not hear + plainly and thought he was talking to central. "Send down and take + this d---thing out of here," he said; "I'm tired of it." He was + mad, and using a good deal of bad language. All at once he heard + Mrs. Dr. Tafft say, "Oh, Mr. Clemens, good morning." He said, "Why, + Mrs. Tafft, I have just come to the telephone. George, our butler, + was here before me and I heard him swearing as I came up. I shall + have to talk to him about it." + + Mrs. Tafft often told it on him.--[ Mark Twain once wrote to the + telephone management: "The time is coming very soon when the + telephone will be a perfect instrument, when proximity will no + longer be a hindrance to its performance, when, in fact, one will + hear a man who is in the next block just as easily and comfortably + as he would if that man were in San Francisco."] + Mrs. Clemens, before I went there, took care of his desk, but little + by little I began to look after it when she was busy at other + things. Finally I took care of it altogether, but he didn't know it + for a long time. One morning he caught me at it. "What are you + doing here?" he asked. + + "Dusting, Mr. Clemens," I said. + + "You have no business here," he said, very mad. + + "I've been doing it for a year, Mr. Clemens," I said. "Mrs. Clemens + told me to do it." + + After that, when he missed anything--and he missed things often--he + would ring for me. "Katie," he would say, "you have lost that + manuscript." + + "Oh, Mr. Clemens,", I would say, "I am sure I didn't touch it." + + "Yes, you did touch it, Katie. You put it in the fire. It is + gone." + + He would scold then, and fume a great deal. Then he would go over + and mark out with his toe on the carpet a line which I was never to + cross. "Katie," he would say, "you are never to go nearer to my + desk than that line. That is the dead-line." Often after he had + scolded me in the morning he would come in in the evening where I + was dressing Mrs. Clemens to go out and say, "Katie, I found that + manuscript." And I would say, "Mr. Clemens, I felt so bad this + morning that I wanted to go away." + + He had a pipe-cleaner which he kept on a high shelf. It was an + awful old dirty one, and I didn't know that he ever used it. I took + it to the balcony which was built out into the woods and threw it + away as far as I could throw it. Next day he asked, "Katie, did you + see my pipe-cleaner? You did see it; I can tell by your looks." + + I said, "Yes, Mr. Clemens, I threw it away." + + "Well," he said, "it was worth a thousand dollars," and it seemed so + to me, too, before he got done scolding about it. + +It is hard not to dwell too long on the home life of this period. One +would like to make a long chapter out of those play-acting evenings +alone. They remained always fresh in Mark Twain's memory. Once he wrote +of them: + + We dined as we could, probably with a neighbor, and by quarter to + eight in the evening the hickory fire in the hall was pouring a + sheet of flame up the chimney, the house was in a drench of gas- + light from the ground floor up, the guests were arriving, and there + was a babble of hearty greetings, with not a voice in it that was + not old and familiar and affectionate; and when the curtain went up + we looked out from the stage upon none but faces that were dear to + us, none but faces that were lit up with welcome for us. + + + + +CLXI + +HISTORY: MAINLY BY SUSY + +Suzy, in her biography, which she continued through this period, writes: + + Mama and I have both been very much troubled of late because papa, + since he had been publishing General Grant's books, has seemed to + forget his own books and works entirely; and the other evening, as + papa and I were promonading up and down the library, he told me that + he didn't expect to write but one more book, and then he was ready + to give up work altogether, die, or, do anything; he said that he + had written more than he had ever expected to, and the only book + that he had been pertickularly anxious to write was one locked up in + the safe downstairs, not yet published. + +The book locked in the safe was Captain Stormfield, and the one he +expected to write was A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur's Court. He +had already worked at it in a desultory way during the early months of +1886, and once wrote of it to Webster: + + I have begun a book whose scene is laid far back in the twilight of + tradition; I have saturated myself with the atmosphere of the day + and the subject and got myself into the swing of the work. If I peg + away for some weeks without a break I am safe. + +But he could not peg away. He had too many irons in the fire for that. +Matthew Arnold had criticized General Grant's English, and Clemens +immediately put down other things to rush to his hero's defense. He +pointed out that in Arnold's criticism there were no less than "two +grammatical crimes and more than several examples of very crude and +slovenly English," and said: + + There is that about the sun which makes us forget his spots, and + when we think of General Grant our pulses quicken and his grammar + vanishes; we only remember that this is the simple soldier, who, all + untaught of the silken phrase-makers, linked words together with an + art surpassing the art of the schools, and put into them a something + which will still bring to American ears, as long as America shall + last, the roll of his vanished drums and the tread of his marching + hosts.--[Address to Army and Navy Club. For full text see + Appendix] + +Clemens worked at the Yankee now and then, and Howells, when some of the +chapters were read to him, gave it warm approval and urged its +continuance. + +Howells was often in Hartford at this time. Webster & Co. were planning +to publish The Library of Humor, which Howells and "Charley" Clark had +edited several years before, and occasional conferences were desirable. +Howells tells us that, after he and Clark had been at great trouble to +get the matter logically and chronologically arranged, Clemens pulled it +all to pieces and threw it together helter-skelter, declaring that there +ought to be no sequence in a book of that sort, any more than in the +average reader's mind; and Howells admits that this was probably the +truer method in a book made for the diversion rather than the instruction +of the reader. + +One of the literary diversions of this time was a commentary on a +delicious little book by Caroline B. Le Row--English as She Is Taught-- +being a compilation of genuine answers given to examination questions by +pupils in our public schools. Mark Twain was amused by such definitions +as: "Aborigines, system of mountains"; "Alias--a good man in the Bible"; +"Ammonia--the food of the gods," and so on down the alphabet. + +Susy, in her biography, mentions that her father at this is time read to +them a little article which he had just written, entitled "Luck," and +that they thought it very good. It was a story which Twichell had heard +and told to Clemens, who set it down about as it came to him. It was +supposed to be true, yet Clemens seemed to think it too improbable for +literature and laid it away for a number of years. We shall hear of it +again by and by. + +From Susy's memoranda we gather that humanity at this time was to be +healed of all evils and sorrows through "mind cure." + + Papa has been very much interested of late in the "mind-cure" + theory. And, in fact, so have we all. A young lady in town has + worked wonders by using the "mind cure" upon people; she is + constantly busy now curing peoples' diseases in this way--and curing + her own, even, which to me seems the most remarkable of all. + + A little while past papa was delighted with the knowledge of what he + thought the best way of curing a cold, which was by starving it. + This starving did work beautifully, and freed him from a great many + severe colds. Now he says it wasn't the starving that helped his + colds, but the trust in the starving, the "mind cure" connected with + the starving. + + I shouldn't wonder if we finally became firm believers in "mind + cure." The next time papa has a cold I haven't a doubt he will send + for Miss Holden, the young lady who is doctoring in the "mind-cure" + theory, to cure him of it. + +Again, a month later, she writes: + + April 19, 1886. Yes, the "mind cure" does seem to be working + wonderfully. Papa, who has been using glasses now for more than a + year, has laid them off entirely. And my near-sightedness is really + getting better. It seems marvelous. When Jean has stomack-ache + Clara and I have tried to divert her by telling her to lie on her + side and try "mind cure." The novelty of it has made her willing to + try it, and then Clara and I would exclaim about how wonderful it + was she was getting better. And she would think it realy was + finally, and stop crying, to our delight. + + The other day mama went into the library and found her lying on the + sofa with her back toward the door. She said, "Why, Jean, what's + the matter? Don't you feel well?" Jean said that she had a little + stomack-ache, and so thought she would lie down. Mama said, "Why + don't you try 'mind cure'?" "I am," Jean answered. + +Howells and Twichell were invited to try the "mind cure," as were all +other friends who happened along. To the end of his days Clemens would +always have some panacea to offer to allay human distress. It was a good +trait, when all is said, for it had its root in his humanity. The "mind +cure" did not provide all the substance of things hoped for, though he +always allowed for it a wide efficacy. Once, in later years, commenting +on Susy's record, he said: + + The mind cannot heal broken bones, and doubtless there are many + other physical ills which it cannot heal, but it can greatly help to + modify the severities of all of them without exception, and there + are mental and nervous ailments which it can wholly heal without the + help of physician or surgeon. + +Susy records another burning interest of this time: + + Clara sprained her ankle a little while ago by running into a tree + when coasting, and while she was unable to walk with it she played + solotaire with cards a great deal. While Clara was sick and papa + saw her play solotaire so much he got very much interested in the + game, and finally began to play it himself a little; then Jean took + it up, and at last mama even played it occasionally; Jean's and + papa's love for it rapidly increased, and now Jean brings the cards + every night to the table and papa and mama help her play, and before + dinner is at an end papa has gotten a separate pack of cards and is + playing alone, with great interest. Mama and Clara next are made + subject to the contagious solotaire, and there are four + solotarireans at the table, while you hear nothing but "Fill up the + place," etc. It is dreadful! + +But a little further along Susy presents her chief subject more +seriously. He is not altogether absorbed with "mind cure" and solitaire, +or even with making humorous tales. + + Papa has done a great deal in his life I think that is good and very + remarkable, but I think if he had had the advantages with which he + could have developed the gifts which he has made no use of in + writing his books, or in any other way, for peoples' pleasure and + benefit outside of his own family and intimate friends, he could + have done more than he has, and a great deal more, even. He is + known to the public as a humorist, but he has much more in him that + is earnest than that is humorous. He has a keen sense of the + ludicrous, notices funny stories and incidents, knows how to tell + them, to improve upon them, and does not forget them. + +And again: + + When we are all alone at home nine times out of ten he talks about + some very earnest subject (with an occasional joke thrown in), and + he a good deal more often talks upon such subjects than upon the + other kind. + + He is as much of a philosopher as anything, I think. I think he + could have done a great deal in this direction if he had studied + while young, for he seems to enjoy reasoning out things, no matter + what; in a great many such directions he has greater ability than in + the gifts which have made him famous. + +It was with the keen eyes and just mind of childhood that Susy estimated, +and there is little to add to her valuation. + +Susy's biography came to an end that summer after starting to record a +visit which they all made to Keokuk to see Grandma Clemens. They went by +way of the Lakes and down the Mississippi from St. Paul. A pleasant +incident happened that first evening on the river. Soon after nightfall +they entered a shoal crossing. Clemens, standing alone on the hurricane- +deck, heard the big bell forward boom out the call for leads. Then came +the leadsman's long-drawn chant, once so familiar, the monotonous +repeating in river parlance of the depths of water. Presently the lead +had found that depth of water signified by his nom de plume and the call +of "Mark Twain, Mark Twain" floated up to him like a summons from the +past. All at once a little figure came running down the deck, and Clara +confronted him, reprovingly: + +"Papa," she said, "I have hunted all over the boat for you. Don't you +know they are calling for you?" + +They remained in Keokuk a week, and Susy starts to tell something of +their visit there. She begins: + +"We have arrived in Keokuk after a very pleasant----" + +The sentence remains unfinished. We cannot know what was the +interruption or what new interest kept her from her task. We can only +regret that the loving little hand did not continue its pleasant history. +Years later, when Susy had passed from among the things we know, her +father, commenting, said: + + When I look at the arrested sentence that ends the little book it + seems as if the hand that traced it cannot be far--it is gone for a + moment only, and will come again and finish it. But that is a + dream; a creature of the heart, not of the mind--a feeling, a + longing, not a mental product; the same that lured Aaron Burr, old, + gray, forlorn, forsaken, to the pier day after day, week after week, + there to stand in the gloom and the chill of the dawn, gazing + seaward through veiling mists and sleet and snow for the ship which + he knew was gone down, the ship that bore all his treasure--his + daughter. + + + + +End of this Project Gutenberg Etext MARK TWAIN, A BIOGRAPHY,1875-86, v3 +by Albert Bigelow Paine + |