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+The Project Gutenberg EBook of Shakespeare Jest-Books;, by Unknown
+
+This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with
+almost no restrictions whatsoever.  You may copy it, give it away or
+re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included
+with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org
+
+
+Title: Shakespeare Jest-Books;
+       Reprints of the Early and Very Rare Jest-Books Supposed
+       to Have Been Used by Shakespeare
+
+Author: Unknown
+
+Editor: W. Carew Hazlitt
+
+Release Date: August 27, 2009 [EBook #29821]
+
+Language: English
+
+Character set encoding: ISO-8859-1
+
+*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK SHAKESPEARE JEST-BOOKS; ***
+
+
+
+
+Produced by David Edwards and the Online Distributed
+Proofreading Team at https://www.pgdp.net (This book was
+produced from scanned images of public domain material
+from the Google Print project.)
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+  Old English Jest-Book.
+
+  VOL. I.
+
+
+
+
+  Shakespeare Jest-Books;
+
+  REPRINTS OF THE EARLY
+  AND VERY RARE JEST-BOOKS SUPPOSED TO
+  HAVE BEEN USED BY SHAKESPEARE.
+
+  A Hundred Mery Talys,
+  FROM THE ONLY KNOWN COPY.
+
+  II.
+
+  Mery Tales and Quicke Answeres,
+  FROM THE RARE EDITION OF 1567.
+
+  _Edited, with Introduction and Notes._
+
+  BY
+
+  W. CAREW HAZLITT,
+
+  OF THE INNER TEMPLE, BARRISTER-AT-LAW.
+
+          ----_That I was disdainful,--and that
+  I had my good wit out of the Hundred Merry Tales._
+
+  BEATRICE, in Much Ado about Nothing.
+
+  LONDON: WILLIS & SOTHERAN, 136, STRAND.
+
+  MDCCCLXIV.
+
+
+
+
+¶ A C. mery
+
+Talys.
+
+
+
+
+The Table.
+
+                                                                    PAGE
+
+  ¶ _Of him that said there were but two commandementes._
+  i.                                                                  11
+
+  ¶ _Of the wyfe who lay with her prentys and
+  caused him to beate her husbande disguised
+  in her rayment._ ii                                                 12
+
+  ¶ _Of John Adroyns in the dyuyls apparell._ iii.                    14
+
+  ¶ _Of the Ryche man and his two sonnes._ iv.                        18
+
+  ¶ _Of the Cockolde who gained a Ring by his
+  iudgment._ v.                                                       19
+
+  ¶ _Of the scoler that gave his shoes to cloute._ vi.                20
+
+  ¶ _Of him that said that a womans tongue was
+  lightest of digestion._ vii.                                      _ib._
+
+  ¶ _Of the Woman that followed her fourth husbands
+  bere and wept._ viii.                                               21
+
+  ¶ _Of the Woman that sayd her woer came to
+  late. ix._                                                          22
+
+  ¶ _Of the Mylner with the golden thombe._ x.                        23
+
+  ¶ _Of the horseman of Irelande that prayde
+  Oconer for to hange up the frere._ xi.                            _ib._
+
+  ¶ _Of the preest that sayd nother Corpus meus
+  nor Corpum meum._ xii.                                              26
+
+  ¶ _Of the two freres whereof the one loued nat the
+  ele heed nor the other the tayle._ xiii.                            27
+
+  ¶ _Of the welche man that shroue hym for brekynge
+  of hys faste on the fryday._ xiv.                                   28
+
+  ¶ _Of the merchaunte of London that dyd put
+  nobles in his mouthe in hys dethe bedde._ xv.                       30
+
+  ¶ _Of the mylner that stale the nuttes of the
+  tayler that stale a shepe._ xvi.                                    31
+
+  ¶ _Of the foure elementes where they should sone
+  be founde._ xvii.                                                   36
+
+  ¶ _Of the woman that poured the potage in the
+  iudges male._ xviii.                                                37
+
+  ¶ _Of the wedded men that came to heuen to
+  clayme theyr herytage._ xix.                                        39
+
+  ¶ _Of the merchaunte that charged his sonne to
+  fynde one to synge for hys soule._ xx.                              40
+
+  ¶ _Of the mayde wasshynge clothes that answered
+  the frere._ xxi.                                                    42
+
+  ¶ _Of the thre wyse men of Gotam._ xxii.                           _ib._
+
+  ¶ _Of the graye frere that answered his penytente._
+  xxiii.                                                              43
+
+  ¶ _Of the gentylman that bare the sege borde on
+  hys necke._ xxiv.                                                   44
+
+  ¶ _Of the merchantes wyfe that sayd she wolde
+  take a nap at a sermon._ xxv.                                       47
+
+  ¶ _Of the woman that said and she lyued another
+  yere she wolde haue a cockoldes hatte of her
+  owne._ xxvi.                                                        48
+
+  ¶ _Of the gentylman that wysshed his tothe in
+  the gentylwomans tayle._ xxvii.                                   _ib._
+
+  ¶ _Of the Welcheman that confessyd hym howe he
+  had slayne a frere._ xxviii.                                        49
+
+  ¶ _Of the Welcheman that coude nat gette but a
+  lytell male._ xxix.                                                 50
+
+  ¶ _Of the gentyll woman that sayde to a gentyll
+  man ye haue a berde aboue and none benethe._
+  xxx.                                                                51
+
+  ¶ _Of the frere that sayde our Lorde fed fyue M.
+  people with iii fysshys._ xxxi.                                     52
+
+  ¶ _Of the frankelyn that wold haue had the frere
+  gone._ xxxii.                                                       53
+
+  ¶ _Of the prest that sayd Our Lady was not so
+  curyous a woman._ xxxiii.                                           54
+
+  ¶ _Of the good man that sayde to his wyfe he had
+  euyll fare._ xxxiv.                                                 55
+
+  ¶ _Of the frere that bad his childe make a laten._
+  xxxv.                                                             _ib._
+
+  ¶ _Of the gentylman that asked the frere for his
+  beuer._ xxxvi.                                                      56
+
+  ¶ _Of the thre men that chose the woman._ xxxvii.                 _ib._
+
+  ¶ _Of the gentylman that taught his cooke the
+  medycyne for the tothake._ xxxviii.                                 58
+
+  ¶ _Of the gentylman that promysed the scoler of
+  Oxford a sarcenet typet._ xxxix.                                    60
+
+  ¶ _Of mayster Skelton that broughte the bysshop
+  of Norwiche ii fesauntys._ xl.                                      62
+
+  ¶ _Of the yeman of garde that sayd he wolde bete
+  the carter._ xli.                                                   65
+
+  ¶ _Of the fole that saide he had leuer go to hell
+  than to heuen._ xlii.                                               66
+
+  ¶ _Of the plowmannys sonne that sayde he sawe
+  one to make a gose to creke swetely._ xliii.                        67
+
+  ¶ _Of the maydes answere that was wyth chylde._
+  xliv.                                                             _ib._
+
+  ¶ _Of the seruaunt that rymyd with hys mayster._
+  xlv.                                                                68
+
+  ¶ _Of the Welcheman that delyuered the letter to
+  the ape._ xlvi.                                                     69
+
+  ¶ _Of hym that solde ryght nought._ xlvii.                          71
+
+  ¶ _Of the frere that tolde the thre chyldres fortunes._
+  xlviii.                                                             72
+
+  ¶ _Of the boy that bare the frere his masters
+  money._ xlix.                                                       74
+
+  ¶ _Of Phylyp Spencer the bochers man._ l.                           75
+
+  ¶ _Of the courtear and the carter._ li.                             76
+
+  ¶ _Of the yong man that prayd his felow to teche
+  hym hys paternoster._ lii.                                          77
+
+  ¶ _Of the frere that prechyd in ryme expownynge
+  the ave maria._ liii.                                               78
+
+  ¶  _Of the curat that prechyd the Artycles of the
+  Crede._ liv.                                                        80
+
+  ¶ _Of the frere that prechyd the x commaundementis._
+  lv.                                                                 82
+
+  ¶ _Of the wyfe that bad her husbande ete the
+  candell fyrste._ lvi.                                               84
+
+  ¶ _Of the man of lawes sonnes answer._ lvii.                      _ib._
+
+  ¶ _Of the frere in the pulpet that bad the woman
+  leve her babelynge._ lviii.                                         85
+
+  ¶ _Of the Welcheman that cast the Scotte into the
+  see._ lix.                                                          86
+
+  ¶ _Of the man that had the dome wyfe._ lx.                          87
+
+  ¶ _Of the Proctour of Arches that had the lytel
+  wyfe._ lxi.                                                         89
+
+  ¶ _Of ii nonnes that were shryuen of one preste._
+  lxii.                                                             _ib._
+
+  ¶ _Of the esquyer that sholde haue ben made
+  knight._ lxiii.                                                     91
+
+  ¶ _Of hym that wolde gette the maystrye of his
+  wyfe._ lxiv. .                                                      92
+
+  ¶ _Of the penytent that sayd the shepe of God
+  haue mercy vpon me._ lxv.                                           93
+
+  ¶ _Of the husbande that sayd he was John daw._
+  lxvi.                                                               94
+
+  ¶ _Of the scoler of Oxforde that proued by souestry
+  ii chykens iii._ lxvii.                                             95
+
+  ¶ _Of the frere that stale the podynge._ lxviii.                    97
+
+  ¶ _Of the frankelyns sonne that cam to take
+  orders._ lxix.                                                      98
+
+  ¶ _Of the husbandman that lodgyd the frere in
+  his own bede._ lxx.                                                 99
+
+  ¶ _Of the preste that wolde say two gospels for a
+  grote._ lxxi.                                                      100
+
+  ¶ _Of the coutear that dyd cast the frere ouer the
+  bote._ lxxii.                                                      101
+
+  ¶ _Of the frere that prechyd what mennys sowles
+  were._ lxxiii.                                                    _ib._
+
+  ¶ _Of the husbande that cryed ble vnder the bed. _lxxiv.           102
+
+  ¶ _Of the shomaker that asked the colyer what
+  tydynges in hell._ lxxv.                                           103
+
+  ¶ _Of Seynt Peter that cryed cause bobe._ lxxvi.                   104
+
+  ¶ _Of hym that aduenturyd body and soule for
+  hys prynce._ lxxvii.                                               105
+
+  ¶ _Of the parson that stale the mylners elys._ lxxviii.            106
+
+  ¶ _Of the Welchman that saw one xl's better
+  than God._ lxxix.                                                 _ib._
+
+  ¶ _Of the frere that said dyryge for the hoggys
+  soule._ lxxx.                                                     _ib._
+
+  ¶ _Of the parson that sayde masse of requiem for
+  Crystes soule._ lxxxi.                                             108
+
+  ¶ _Of the herdeman that sayde: ryde apace, ye
+  shall haue rayn._ lxxxii.                                          109
+
+  ¶ _Of hym that sayde: I shall haue neuer a peny._
+  lxxxiii.                                                           110
+
+  ¶ _Of the husbande that sayde his wyfe and he
+  agreed well._ lxxxiv.                                              111
+
+  ¶ _Of the prest that sayde Comede episcope._ lxxxv.               _ib._
+
+  ¶ _Of the woman that stale the pot._ lxxxvi. .                     112
+
+  ¶ _Of mayster Whyttyntons dreme._ lxxxvii. .                       113
+
+  ¶ _Of the prest that killed his horse called
+  modicus._ lxxxviii.                                                114
+
+  ¶ _Of the Welcheman that stale the Englysshmans
+  cocke._ lxxxix.                                                    115
+
+  ¶ _Of hym that brought a botell to a preste._ xc.                 _ib._
+
+  ¶ _Of the endytement of Jesu of Nazareth._ xci.                    116
+
+  ¶ _Of the frere that preched agaynst them that
+  rode on the Sonday._ xcii.                                         117
+
+  ¶ _Of the one broder that founde a purs._ xciii.                   118
+
+  ¶ _Of the answere of the mastres to the mayde._
+  xciv.                                                              119
+
+  ¶ _Of the northern man that was all harte._ xcv.                  _ib._
+
+  ¶ _Of the burnynge of olde John._ xcvi.                           _ib._
+
+  ¶ _Of the courtear that ete the hot custarde._ xcvii.              121
+
+  ¶ _Of the thre pointes belonging to a shrewd
+  wyfe._ xcix.                                                       122
+
+  ¶ _Of the man that paynted the lamb upon his
+  wyfes bely._ c.                                                    123
+
+
+
+
+INTRODUCTION.
+
+
+When a small impression of these quaint old books issued from the
+Chiswick Press, many years ago, under the auspices of the late Mr. S. W.
+Singer, that gentleman merely designed the copies struck off for
+presentation to a select circle of literary friends who, like himself,
+felt a warm interest in every relic of the past which helped to
+illustrate Shakespeare and ancient English manners. He did not
+consequently feel under the necessity of furnishing notes, and he
+preserved not only the old orthography, but the old punctuation, and the
+most palpable errors of the press. His edition unfortunately laboured
+under one disadvantage: when he printed, in 1814, the _Mery Tales and
+Quick Answers_ from Berthelet's edition, he imagined that this was the
+book to which Beatrice is made to allude in _Much Ado About Nothing_,
+and under this idea he christened the volume _Shakespeare's Jest Book_.
+He also thought he was safe in assuming that the edition by Berthelet
+was the only one extant. But Mr. Singer discovered, before his
+undertaking was a year old, that he had come to an erroneous conclusion
+on both these points: for an impression of the _Mery Tales, &c._ printed
+by Henry Wykes in 1567, and containing, with all the old matter,
+twenty-six additional stories, was brought under his notice, and about
+the same time a totally unknown work, bearing the very title mentioned
+by Beatrice, was accidentally rescued from oblivion by the Rev. J. J.
+Conybeare, who, it is said by Dunlop, picked up the treasure at a
+bookstall. This was no other than A C. MERY TALYS.
+
+The copy of _C. Mery Talys_ thus casually brought to light, had been
+used by a binder of or about the time of its appearance as pasteboard to
+another book, and it was in this state when it fell in the way of Mr.
+Conybeare. As might have been expected, many of the leaves were damaged
+and mutilated; but (which rendered the matter still more curious) it
+happily chanced that _more than one copy_ had been employed by the
+aforesaid binder in fashioning the aforesaid pasteboard, and the
+consequence was that a much larger fragment than would have been
+otherwise saved was formed by means of duplicate leaves. Still several
+gaps in the text remained, which it was found impossible to fill up, and
+as no other copy has since occurred, no better means exist now than
+existed fifty years ago of supplying the deficiencies. Where the hiatus
+consisted of a word or two only, and the missing portion could be
+furnished by conjecture, Mr. Singer took the liberty of adding what
+seemed to be wanting, in italics; his interpolations have been left as
+they stood. The old orthography and language, besides the charm of
+quaintness, appeared to the editor to possess a certain philological
+value, and he has rigidly adhered to it. In respect to the punctuation,
+the case was different; there were no reasons of any kind for its
+retention; it was very imperfect and capricious; and it has therefore
+been modernized throughout.
+
+The _C. Mery Talys_, of which the copy above described has a fair
+pretention to the distinction of uniqueness, were first printed by John
+Rastell, without date but circa 1525, in folio, 24 leaves. Whether
+Rastell printed more than one edition is an open question. The book was
+not reprinted, so far as we know at present, till 1558, when John Walley
+or Waley paid two shillings to the Stationers' Company for his licence
+to produce this and other pieces. Walley reprinted a great number of
+books which had originally come from the press of Wynkyn de Worde and
+other early masters of the art, but it is not very likely that the _C.
+Mery Talys_ made their appearance prior to 1525, and there is room to
+doubt whether even then the severe reflections on the scandalous lives
+of the Roman Catholic priesthood were not slightly premature. The almost
+total destruction of copies may be, after all, due, not to the excessive
+popularity of the publication, but to its early suppression by authority
+or otherwise. After the triumph of the Reformation, and until the death
+of Edward VI. however, although these tales still remained as
+unpalatable as ever to a certain party, there was nothing to hinder
+their circulation, and that there were intermediate impressions between
+that from Rastell's press, and the one licensed to Walley,[1] if not
+printed by him, is not at all improbable. The _C. Mery Talys_ were
+subsequently and successively the property of Sampson Awdley and John
+Charlwood, to the latter of whom they were licensed on the 15th January,
+1582. All trace of editions by Walley, Awdley, or Charlwood, has
+disappeared, although doubtless all three printed the work.
+
+Of the MERY TALES AND QUICKE ANSWERES, which forms the second portion of
+the present volume, only two impressions are known. One of these,
+supposed to be the original, was printed by Thomas Berthelet, without
+date (about 1535), in 4to.; it contains 114 anecdotes. The other, from
+the press of Henry Wykes, bears the date 1567, and is in the duodecimo
+form; it produces with tolerable exactness the text of Berthelet, and
+has twenty-six new stories. Besides these, at least one other impression
+formerly existed: for, in 1576-7, Henry Bynneman paid to the Stationers'
+Company fourpence "and a copie" for "a booke entituled mery tales,
+wittye questions, and quycke answers."[2] No copy of Bynneman's edition
+has hitherto been discovered; a copy of that of 1567 was in the Harleian
+library. At the sale of the White-Knights collection in 1819, Mr. George
+Daniel of Canonbury gave nineteen guineas for the exemplar of
+Berthelet's undated 4to, which had previously been in the Roxburghe
+library, and which at the dispersion of the latter in 1812, had fetched
+the moderate sum of 5_l._ 15_s._ 6_d._
+
+The reader who is conversant with this class of literature will easily
+recognise in the following pages many stories familiar to him either in
+the same, or in very slightly different, shapes; a few, which form part
+of the _Mery Tales and Quick Answers_, were included in a collection
+published many years since under the title of _Tales of the Minstrels_.
+No. 42 of the _Mery Tales and Quick Answers_ was perhaps at one time
+rather popular as a theme for a joke. There is an Elizabethan ballad
+commencing, "ty the mare, tom-boy, ty the mare," by William Keth, which
+the editor thought, before he had had an opportunity of examining it,
+might be on the same subject; but he finds that it has nothing whatever
+to do with the matter.[3] It may also be noticed that the story related
+of the king who, to revenge himself on God, forbade His name to be
+mentioned, or His worship to be celebrated throughout his dominions, is
+said by Montaigne, in one of his essays, to have been current in his
+part of France, when he was a boy. The king was Alfonso xi of Castile.
+No. 68 of _A C. Mery Talys_, "Of the Friar that stole the Pudding," is
+merely an abridgment of the same story, which occurs in _Tarltons Newes
+out of Purgatorie_, where it is told of the "Vickar of Bergamo." Many
+of the jests in these two pamphlets are also to be found in _Scoggins
+Jests_, licensed in 1565; a few occur in the _Philosopher's Banquet_,
+1614; and one--that where the lady ties a string to her toe as a signal
+to her lover--is repeated at greater length in the "Cobler of
+Canterbury," edit. 1608, where it is called "the old wives' tale." It
+would be a curious point to ascertain whether the anecdotes common to
+these collections and to "_Scoggin's Jests_," do not refer to the same
+person; and whether Scoggin is not in fact the hero of many of the
+pranks attributed to the "Scholar of Oxford," the "Youngman," the
+"Gentleman," &c. in the following pages, which were in existence many
+years before the first publication of _Scoggins Jests_. It will hardly
+be contested at the present day, that "books of the people,"[4] like
+these now reprinted, with all their occasional coarseness and frequent
+dulness, are of extreme and peculiar value, as illustrations of early
+manners and habits of thought.
+
+The editor has ventured to make certain emendations of the text, where
+they were absolutely necessary to make it intelligible; but these are
+always carefully noted at the foot of the page where they occur. A word
+or two, here and there, has been introduced between brackets to complete
+the sense; and a few notes have been given, since it was thought
+desirable to point out where a tale was common to several collections in
+various shapes or in the same shape, to indicate the source from which
+it was derived, and to elucidate obscure phrases or passages. But he has
+refrained from overloading the book with comment, from a feeling that,
+in the majority of cases, the class of readers, to which a publication
+such as this addresses itself, are fully as competent to clear up any
+apparent difficulties which may fall in their way, as himself.
+
+The allusions to the _C. Mery Talys_ and to its companion in old writers
+are sufficiently numerous.[5]
+
+Bathe, in his _Introduction to the Art of Musick_, 1584, says: "But for
+the worthiness I thought it not to be doubted, seeing here are set forth
+a booke of a hundred mery tales, another of the bataile between the
+spider and the flie, &c." A few years later, Sir John Harington, in his
+_Apologie_(for the _Metamorphosis of Ajax_) 1596, writes: "Ralph Horsey,
+Knight, the best housekeeper in Dorsetshire, a good freeholder, a
+deputie Lieutenant. Oh, sir, you keep hauks and houndes, and hunting
+horses: it may be som madde fellowe will say, you must stand up to the
+chinne, for spending five hundred poundes, to catch hares, and
+Partridges, that might be taken for five poundes." Then comes this note
+in the margin: "according to the tale in the hundred Mery Tales." It is
+No. 57. In the Epilogue to the play of _Wily Beguild_, printed in 1606,
+but written during the reign of Elizabeth, there is a passage in which
+the _C. Mery Talys_ are coupled with _Scoggins Jests_, and in his
+_Wonderful yeare_, 1603, Decker says: "I could fill a large volume, and
+call it the second part of the _Hundred Merry Tales_, only with such
+ridiculous stuff as this of the justice." From this extract, first
+quoted by Mr. Collier in his valuable History of the Drama, and from the
+manner in which Shakespeare, through the mouth of Beatrice, speaks of
+the _Mery Talys_, it is to be gathered that neither writer held this
+book of jests in very high estimation; and, as no vestiges are traceable
+of an edition of the work subsequent to 1582, it is possible that about
+that time the title had grown too stale to please the less educated
+reader, and the work had fallen into disrepute in higher quarters. The
+stories themselves, in some shape or other, however, have been
+reproduced in every jest-book from the reign of Elizabeth to the
+Restoration, while many of them multiply themselves even to the present
+day in the form of chap books.
+
+_A C. Mery Talys_ was one of the popular tracts described by the
+pedantic Laneham, in his _Letter from Kenilworth_, 1575, as being in the
+Library of Captain Cox, of Coventry.[6]
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[1] Walley obtained his licence or the _C. Mery Talys_ in 1557-8, during
+the reign of Mary, perhaps in anticipation of a change in the
+government, and in order to forestall other stationers. If Walley
+printed the Tales, it is most likely that he waited, till Elizabeth came
+to the throne.
+
+[2] Collier's Extracts from the Reg. Stat. Co. ii. 25.
+
+[3] An abridgment of this ballad was published in Ritson's _Ancient
+Songs and Ballads_, 1829, ii. 31. But see the _Townley Catalogue_, No.
+358.
+
+[4] The elder Disraeli has a chapter on this subject in his _Amenities
+of Literature_.
+
+[5] For some of these notices I am indebted to Mr. Singer; others I have
+added myself from the various sources.
+
+[6] In Act v. Sc. iii of Fletcher's _Nice Valour_ (Dyce's B. & F. x.
+361) there is mention of the _Hundred Novels_, alluding, not to the _C.
+Mery Talys_, but to the _Decameron_ of Boccaccio, of which an English
+translation appeared in 1620-5.
+
+
+
+
+A C.
+
+MERY TALYS.
+
+
+
+
+¶ _Of hym that said there were but two commandementes._ i.
+
+
+¶ A certayne Curate in the contrey there was that _preched_ in the
+pulpet of the ten comaundementys, sayeng _that_ there were ten
+commaundementes that euery man _should_ kepe, and he that brake any of
+them commytted syn, howbeit he sayd, that somtyme it was _dedely and_
+somtyme venyal. But when it was dedely syn and whan venyall there were
+many doutes therin. ¶ And a mylner, a yong man, a mad felow that cam
+seldom to chyrch and had ben at very few sermons or none in all his
+lyfe, answered hym than shortely this wyse: I meruayl, master person,
+that ye say there be so many commaundementes and so many doutes: for I
+neuer hard tell but of two commaundementes, that is to saye, commaunde
+me to you and commaunde me fro you. Nor I neuer harde tell of more
+doutes but twayn, that ys to say, dout the candell and dout the fyre.[7]
+At which answere all the people fell a laughynge.
+
+By this tale a man may well perceyue that they, that be brought vp
+withoute lernynge or good maner, shall neuer be but rude and bestely,
+all thoughe they haue good naturall wyttes.
+
+
+
+
+¶ _Of the wyfe who lay with her prentys and caused him to beate her
+husbande disguised in her rayment._ ii.
+
+
+¶ A wyfe there was, which had apoynted her prentys to com to her bed in
+the nyght, which seruaunt had long woed her to haue his plesure; which
+acordyng to the apoyntement cam to her bed syde in the night, her
+husbande lyenge by her. And whan she perceyuyd him there, she caught hym
+by the hande and helde hym fast, and incontynent wakened her husbande,
+and sayde: 'syr, it is so ye haue a fals and an vntrue seruant, which is
+Wylliam your prentys, and hath longe woyd me to haue his pleasure; and
+because I coulde not auoyde his importunate request, I haue apoynted
+hym this nyght to mete me in the gardeyne in the herber; and yf ye wyll
+aray your selfe in myn aray and go theder, ye shall see the profe
+therof; and than ye may rebuke hym as ye thynk best by your dyscrecyon.
+This husbande, thus aduertysed by hys wyfe, put upon him his wyue's
+rayment and went to the herber; and whan he was gone thyder the prentys
+cam in to bed to his mastres; where for a season they were bothe content
+and plesyd ech other by the space of an hour or ii; but whan she
+thoughte tyme conuenient, she said to the prentyse: now go thy way into
+the herber, and mete hym and tak a good waster[8] in thy hand, and say
+thou dyd it but to proue whether I wold be a good woman or no; and
+reward him as thou thinkyst best. This prentys doyng after his mastres
+councell went in to the herber, where he found his master in his
+mastres' apparell and sayd: A! thou harlot, art thou comen hether? now I
+se well, if I wod be fals to my master, thou woldest be a strong hore;
+but I had leuer thou were hangid than I wold do him so trayterous a ded:
+therefor I shall gyve the som punyshment as thou lyke an hore hast
+deseruyd and therewith lapt him well about the sholders and back, and
+gaue him a dosen or ii good stripes. The master, felyng him selfe
+somwhat to smarte, sayde: peace, Willyam, myn own trew good seruant; for
+Goddis sake, _holde thy_ handes: for I am thy mayster and not thy
+maystres. Nay, hore, quod _he, thou knowest_ thou art but an harlot, and
+I dyd but to proue the; and smote him agayn. _Hold! Hold!_ quod the
+mayster, I beseech the, no more: for I am not she: for I am thy
+_mayster_, for I haue a berde; and therwith he sparyd hys hand and felt
+his berd. Good mayster, quod the prentyse, I crye you mercy; and then
+the mayster went unto hys wyfe; and she askyd hym how he had sped. And
+he answeryd; I wys, wyfe, I haue been shrewdly betyn; howbeit I haue
+cause to be glad: for I thank God I haue as trew a wyfe and as trew a
+seruant as any man hath in Englonde.[9]
+
+By thys tale ye may se that yt ys not wysdome for a man to be rulyd
+alway after his wyuys councell.
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[7] _i.e._ do out. It is, perhaps, scarcely necessary to mention that in
+French, the term _commander_ has a double signification, _to command_
+and _to commend_. In our language, the two words are of course distinct;
+hence the jest.
+
+[8] Cudgel.
+
+
+
+
+¶ _Of John Adroyns in the dyuyls apparell._ iii.
+
+
+¶ It fortunyd that in a market towne in the counte of Suffolke there was
+a stage play, in the which play one, callyd John Adroyns which dwellyd
+in a nother vyllage ii myle from thens, playde the dyuyll. And when the
+play was done, thys John Adroyns in the euynyng departyd fro the sayde
+market towne to go home to hys own house. Because he had there no change
+of clothying, he went forth in hys dyuylls apparell, whych in the way
+comyng homeward cam thorow a waren of conys[10] belongyng to a gentylman
+of the vyllage, wher he him self dwelt. At which tyme it fortunyd a
+preste, a vycar of a churche therby, with ii or iii other vnthrifty
+felows, had brought with them a hors, a hey[11] and a feret to th'entent
+there to get conys; and when the feret was in the yerth, and the hey set
+ouer the pathway where thys John Adroyns shuld come, thys prest and hys
+other felows saw hym come in the dyuyls rayment. Consideryng that they
+were in the dyuyls seruyce and stelyng of conys and supposyng it had ben
+the deuyll in dede, [they] for fere, ran away. Thys John Adroyns in the
+dyuyls rayment, an' because[12] it was somewhat dark, saw not the hay,
+but went forth in hast and stomblid therat and fell doun, that with the
+fal he had almost broken his nek. But whan he was a lytyll reuyuyd, he
+lookyd up and spyed it was a hay to catch conys, and [he] lokyd further
+and saw that they ran away for fere of him, and saw a horse tyed to a
+bush laden wyth conys whych they had taken; and he toke the horse and
+the haye and lept upon the horse and rode to the gentylmannys place that
+was lorde of the waren to the entente to haue thank for takynge suche a
+pray. And whan he came, [he] knokyd at the gatys, to whome anone one of
+the gentylmanny's seruauntys askyd who was there and sodeinly openyd the
+gate; and assone as he percyuyd hym in the deuyls rayment, [he] was
+sodenly abashyd and sparryd the dore agayn, and went in to his mayster
+and sayd and sware to his mayster, that the dyuell was at the gate and
+wolde come in. The gentylman, heryng him say so, callyd another of his
+seruauntys and bad him go to the gate to knowe who was there. Thys
+seconde seruant [that] came to the gate durst not open it but askyd wyth
+lowd voyce who was there. Thys John Adroyns in the dyuyls aparell
+answeryd wyth a hye voyce and sayd: tell thy mayster I must nedys speke
+with hym or[13] I go. Thys seconde seruaunt heryng * *
+
+  _8 lines of the original are wanting._
+
+the deuyll indede that is at the gate syttynge vpon an _horse laden
+with_ soules; and be lykelyhode he is come for your soule. Purpos _ye_
+to _let him have your_ soule and if he had your soule I wene he shulde
+be _gon_. _The gentyl_man, than, meruaylously abasshed, called his
+chaplayne _and sayd: let a can_dell be light, and gette holy water; and
+[he] wente to the gate _with as manye ser_uantes as durste go with him;
+where the chaplayne with _muche con_iuracyon sayd: in the name of the
+father, sonne and holy _ghost, I commande_ and charge the in the holy
+name of God to tell me _wherefore thou_ comeste hyther. ¶ This John
+Adroynes in the deuylls _apparell_, seying them begynne to coniure after
+such maner, sayd: nay, _feare not_ me; for I am a good deuyll; I am John
+Adroynes your neyghboure in this towne and he that playde the deuyll to
+day in the playe. I _bryng_ my mayster a dosen or two of his owne conyes
+that were stolen in _dede_ and theyr horse and theyr haye, and [I] made
+them for feare to ronne _awaye_. Whanne they harde hym thus speke by his
+voyce, [they] knewe him well, and opened the gate and lette hym come in.
+And so all the foresayd feare was turned to myrthe and disporte.
+
+By this tale ye may se that men feare many tymes more than they nede,
+whiche hathe caused men to beleue that sperytes and deuyls haue ben sene
+in dyuers places, whan it hathe ben nothynge so.
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[9] This story is merely the latter portion of the seventh novel of the
+Seventh Day of the Decameron; but Boccaccio tells it somewhat
+differently. It may also he found in the _Pecorone_ of Ser. Giovanni
+Fiorentino, and in _A Sackful of Newes_. 1673 (a reprint of a much older
+edition). In the latter there are one or two trifling particulars not
+found here.
+
+[10] A rabbit-warren.
+
+[11] Net, Fr. _haie_.
+
+[12] In orig. _and because_.
+
+[13] _i.e._ ere, before.
+
+
+
+
+¶ _Of the ryche man and his two sonnes._ iv.
+
+
+¶ There was a ryche man whiche lay sore sycke in his bedde to _deth_.
+_There_fore his eldest sonne came to hym, and besechyd him to gyue _him
+hys_ blessyng, to whome the father sayde: sonne, thou shalt haue Goddes
+blessyng and myne; and because thou hast ben euer good of condicyons, I
+_giue and_ bequethe the all my lande. To whome he answered and sayd: nay
+father, I truste you shall lyue and occupy them your selfe full well by
+Goddes grace. Sone after came another sonne to him lyke wyse and desyred
+his blessyng, to whome the father said: my sonne, thou hast been euer
+kynde and gentyll; I gyue the Goddes blessyng and myne; and I bequethe
+the all my mouable goodes. To whome he answered and said: nay father, I
+trust you shall lyue and do well and spende and vse your goodes
+_yourself_ * * * *
+
+  _8 Lines wanting._
+
+--_By this tale_ men may well perceyue that yonge people that * * * * *
+* * theyr frendes counsell in youthe in tymes * * * * * full ende.
+
+
+
+
+¶ _Of the cockolde who gained a ring by his iudgment._ v.
+
+
+¶ _Two gentylmen_ of acquoyntaunce were apoynted to lye with a
+gentylwoman both in one nyght, the one nat knowynge of the other, at
+_dyuers houres_. ¶ Thys fyrste at hys houre apoynted came, and in the
+_bedde chanced_ to lese a rynge. The seconde gentylman, whanne he _came
+to bedde_, fortuned to fynde the same rynge, and whan he hadde _stayde
+som tyme_ departed. And two or thre dayes after, the fyrste gentylmanne
+_saw hys_ rynge on the others fynger, and chalenged it of hym and he
+_refused it_, and badde hym tell where he had loste it: and he sayd: in
+suche a _gentylwo_mans bedde. Than quod the other: and there founde I
+it. And the _one gentylman_ wolde haue it and the other said he shulde
+nat. Than they agreed _to be decyded_ by the nexte man that they dyd
+mete. And it fortuned them to _mete_ the husbande of the said gentyll
+woman and desyred hym of his _iudg_ment, shewynge hym all the hole
+mater. Than quod he: by my iud_gmente, he t_hat ought[14] the shetes
+shulde haue the rynge. Than quod they: and _for your_ good iudgement you
+shall haue the rynge.
+
+
+
+
+¶ _Of the scoler that gave his shoes to cloute._ vi.
+
+
+¶ In the Uniuersyte of Oxeforde there was a scoler that delyted moche to
+speke eloquente englyssshe and curious termes, and came to the cobler
+with his shoes whyche were pyked before (as they used that tyme), to
+have them clouted, and sayde this wyse: Cobler, I praye the sette _two
+try_angyls and two semycercles vpon my subpedytales, and I shall
+_paye_ the for thy laboure. The cobeler, because he vnderstoode hym nat
+halfe, answered shortely and sayde: syr, your eloquence passeth myne
+intelly_gence_. But I promyse you, yf he meddyll with me the clowtynge
+of youre _shoon_ shall cost you thre pens.
+
+By this tale men may lerne, that it is foly to study to speke eloquently
+before them, that be rude and vnlerned.
+
+
+
+
+¶ _Of hym that said that a womans tongue was lightest of digestion._
+vii.
+
+
+¶ A certayn artificer in London there was, whyche was sore _seke and_
+coulde not well dysgest his meat. To whom a physicyon ca_m to give_ hym
+councell, and sayd that he must vse to ete metis that be light _of
+dig_estyon and small byrdys, as sparowes, swalowes, and specyally that
+byrd _which is_ called a wagtayle, whose flessh is meruelouse lyght of
+dygestyon, _bycause that_ byrd is euer mouying and styryng. The sekeman,
+herynge the phesicion _say so_, answered hym and seyd: sir, yf that be
+the cause that those byrdes be lyght of dygestyon, than I know a mete
+moch lyghter of dygestyon than other[15] sparow swallow or wagtaile, and
+that is my wyues tong, for it is neuer in rest but euer meuying[16] and
+sterryng.
+
+By this tale ye may lerne a good generall rule of physyke.
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[14] Owned. In _Northward Hoe_, 1607, by Decker and Webster, act i.
+scene i., the writers have made use of this story. See Websters' Works,
+edit. Hazlitt, i. 178-9.
+
+
+
+
+¶ _Of the woman that followed her fourth husbands bere and wept._ viii.
+
+
+¶ A woman there was which had had iiii husbandys. It fourtuned also that
+this fourth husbande dyed and was brought to chyrche vpon the bere; whom
+this woman folowed and made great mone, and waxed very sory, in so moche
+that her neyghbours thought she wolde swown and dye for sorow. Wherfore
+one of her gosseps cam to her, and spake to her in her ere, and bad her,
+for Godds sake, comfort her self and refrayne that lamentacion, or ellys
+it wold hurt her and perauenture put her in ieopardy of her life. To
+whom this woman answeryd and sayd: I wys, good gosyp, I haue grete
+cause to morne, if ye knew all. For I haue beryed iii husbandes besyde
+this man; but I was neuer in the case that I am now. For there was not
+one of them but when that I folowed the corse to chyrch, yet I was sure
+of an nother husband, before the corse cam out of my house, and now I am
+sure of no nother husband; and therfore ye may be sure I haue great
+cause to be sad and heuy.
+
+By thys tale ye may se that the olde prouerbe ys trew, that it is as
+great pyte to se a woman wepe as a gose to go barefote.
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[15] either.
+
+[16] moving.
+
+
+
+
+¶ _Of the woman that sayd her woer came too late._ ix.
+
+
+¶ Another woman there was that knelyd at the mas of requiem, whyle the
+corse of her husbande lay on the bere in the chyrche. To whome a yonge
+man cam and spake wyth her in her ere, as thoughe it had ben for som
+mater concernyng the funerallys; howe be it he spake of no suche matter,
+but onely wowyd her that he myght be her husbande to whom she answered
+and sayde thus: syr, by my trouthe I am sory that ye come so late, for I
+am sped all redy. For I was made sure yesterday to another man.
+
+By thys tale ye maye perceyue that women ofte tymes be wyse and lothe to
+lose any tyme.
+
+
+
+
+¶ _Of the mylner with the golden thombe._[17] x.
+
+
+¶ A marchaunt that thought to deride a mylner seyd vnto the mylner
+syttynge amonge company: sir, I haue harde say that euery trew mylner
+that tollyth trewlye hathe a gylden thombe. The myllner answeryd and
+sayde it was true. Than quod the marchant: I pray the let me se thy
+thombe; and when the mylner shewyd hys thombe the marchant sayd: I can
+not perceyue that thy thombe is gylt; but it is as all other mens
+thombes be. To whome the mylner answered and sayde: syr, treuthe it is
+that my thombe is gylt; but ye haue no power to se it: for there is a
+properte euer incydent _vnto it_, that he that is a cockolde shall neuer
+haue power to se it.[18]
+
+
+
+
+¶ _Of the horseman of Irelande that prayde Oconer for to hange up the
+frere._ xi.
+
+
+¶ One whiche was called Oconer, an Yrysshe lorde, toke an horsman
+prisoner that was one of hys great enmys whiche for any request or
+entrety that the horsman made gaue iugement that he sholde incontynent
+be hanged, and made a frere to shryue hym and bad hym make hem redy to
+dye. Thys frere that shroue him examyned hym of dyuers synnes, and asked
+him amonge other whiche were the gretteste synnes that euer he dyd. This
+horsman answered and sayd: one of the greatest actys that euer I dyd
+whiche I now most repent is that, whan I toke Oconer the last weke in a
+chyrche, and there I myght haue brennyd[19] hym chyrche and all, and
+because I had conscience and pyte of brennyng of the chyrche, I taryed
+the tyme so long, that Oconer escaped; and that same deferrynge of
+brennynge of the chyrche and so longe taryeng of that tyme is one of the
+worst actes that euer I dyd wherof I moste[20] repent. This frere
+perceuynge hym in that mynde sayde: peace in the name of God, and change
+thy mynde and dye in charite, or els thou shalt neuer come in heuen.
+Nay, quod the horsman, I wyll neuer chaunge that mynde what so euer
+shall come to my soule. Thys frere perceyuynge hym thus styl contynew
+his minde, cam to Oconer and sayde: syr, in the name of God, haue some
+pyte vppon this mannys sowle, and let hym not dye now, tyl he be in a
+beter mynde. For yf he dye now, he is so ferre out of cheryte, that
+vtterly his soule shall be dampned, and [he] shewyd hym what minde he
+was in and all the hole mater as is before shewyd. Thys horsman, herynge
+the frere thus intrete for hym, sayd to Oconer thus: Oconer, thou seest
+well by thys mannys reporte that, yf I dye now, I am out of charyte and
+not redy to go to heuen; and so it is that I am now out of charyte in
+dede; but thou seest well that this frere is a good man and he is now
+well dysposed and in charyte and he is redy to go to heuen, and so am
+not I. Therfore I pray the hang vp this frere, whyle that he is redy to
+go to heuen and let me tary tyl another tyme, that I may be in charyte
+and redy and mete to go to heuen. Thys Oconer, herying thys mad answere
+of hym, sparyd the man and forgaue hym hys lyfe at that season.
+
+By thys ye may se, that he that is in danger of hys enmye that hath no
+pite, he can do no beter but shew to hym the vttermost of his malycyous
+mynde whych that he beryth to ward hym.
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[17] See Brand's _Popular Antiquities_, edit. 1849, iii. 387.
+
+[18] The reverse of the Somersetshire saying. The proverb is well known:
+"An honest miller hath a golden thumb;" but to this the Somersetshire
+folks add, "none but a cuckold can see it."
+
+[19] Burned.
+
+[20] orig. reads _muste_.
+
+
+
+
+¶ _Of the preest that sayd nother corpus meus nor corpus meum._ xii.
+
+
+¶ The archdekyn of Essex[21] that had ben longe in auctorite, in a tyme
+of vysytacyon, whan all the prestys apperyd before hym, called asyde iii
+of the yonge prestys which were acusyd that thy could not wel say theyr
+dyvyne seruyce, and askyd of them when they sayd mas, whether they sayd
+corpus meus or corpum meum. The fyrst prest sayde that he sayd corpus
+meus. The second sayd that he sayd corpum meum. And than he asked of the
+thyrd how he sayde; whyche answered and sayd thus: syr, because it is so
+great a dout and dyuers men be in dyuers opynyons: therfore because I
+wolde be sure I wolde not offende, whan I come to the place I leue it
+clene out and say nothynge therfore. Wherfore the bysshoppe than openly
+rebuked them all thre. But dyuers that were present thought more defaut
+in hym, because he hym selfe beforetyme had admytted them to be prestys.
+
+By this tale ye may se that one ought to take hede how he rebukyth an
+other lest it torne moste to his owne rebuke.
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[21] Richard Rawson was Archdeacon of Essex from 1503 to 1543, and was
+perhaps the person here intended. See Le Neve's _Fasti_, ed. Hardy, ii.
+336.
+
+
+
+
+¶ _Of two freres whereof the one loued nat the ele heed nor the other
+the tayle._ xiii.
+
+
+¶ Two freres satte at a gentylmans tabyll, whiche had before hym on a
+fastyng day an ele and cut the hed of the ele and layd it vpon one of
+the frerys trenchars; but the frere, bycause he wold haue had of the
+middle parte of the ele, sayd to the gentylman he louyd no ele hedes.
+Thys gentylman also cut the tayle of the ele, and layde it on the other
+frerys trenchar. He lyke wyse, because he wolde haue had of the myddle
+parte of the ele, sayde he loued no ele tayles. This gentylman,
+perceuynge that, gaue the tayle to hym that sayd he louyd not the hed,
+and gaue the hed to hym that sayd he loued not the tayle. And as fore
+the myddell part of the ele, he ete parte hym selfe and parte he gaue to
+other folke at the table; wherfore these freres for anger wolde ete
+neuer a morsell, and so they for al theyr craft and subtylte were not
+only deceyued of the best morsell of the ele, but thereof had no parte
+at all.
+
+By this ye se that they that couet the best parte somtyme therfore lese
+the meane parte and all.
+
+
+
+
+¶ _Of the welche man that shroue hym for brekynge of hys faste on the
+fryday._ xiv.
+
+
+¶ A Welcheman, dwellynge in a wylde place of Walys, cam to hys curate in
+the tyme of Lente and was confessyd; and when hys confessyon was in
+maner at the end, the curate askyd hym, and[22] he had any other thyng
+to say that greuyd his conscience. Which sore abasshid answered no worde
+a great whyle; at last by exhortacyon of his goostly fader he sayde that
+there was one thyng in his mynde that greatly greued his conscyence,
+which he was asshamed to vtter: for it was so greuous that he trowed God
+wold neuer forgyue hym. To whom the curate answerd and sayd, that Goddes
+mercy was aboue all, and bad hym not dyspayre in the mercy of God. For
+what so euer it was, yf he were repentant, that God wolde forgyue hym. ¶
+And so by longe exortacyon at the last he shewyd it and seyde thus. Syr,
+it happenyd ones that, as my wyfe was makynge a chese vpon a Fryday, I
+wolde fayne haue sayed whether it had ben salt or fresshe, and toke a
+lytyll of the whey in my hande, and put it in my mouthe; and or[23] I
+was ware, parte of it went downe my throte agaynst my wyll and so I
+brake my faste. To whom the curate sayde: and if there be non other
+thynge, I warant God shall forgyue the. So whan he had well comforted
+hym with the mercy of God, the curate prayed hym to answere a questyon
+and to tell hym trueth; and when the welchman had promysed to tell the
+truth, the curate sayd that there were robberyes and murders done nye
+the place where he dwelte and diuers men found slayn; and asked hym
+whether _he knew ought_ poyntynge[24] to any of them. To whom he
+answeryd and sayd yes and sayd _he had ben priuye_ to many of them, and
+dyd helpe to robe and to slee dyuers of them. _Then the_ curate asked
+hym, why he dyd not conffesse hym therof. The Welshman _answeryd_ and
+sayde he toke that for no synne: for it was a custome amongest _them
+that_, when any boty cam of any ryche merchant rydyng, that it was but a
+_trewe_ neyboure dede one to help another when one callyd another; and
+so they _held it_ but for good felowshyp and neyghbourhood.
+
+_Here_ maye ye se that some haue remorse of conscyence of small venyall
+_sinnis and_ fere not to do gret offencys without shame of the
+worled[25] or drede of _God_; and, as the comon prouerbe is, they
+stumble at a strawe and lepe ouer a blocke.
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[22] if.
+
+[23] before.
+
+[24] appertaining or relevant.
+
+[25] World.
+
+
+
+
+¶ _Of the merchaunte of London that dyd put nobles in his mouthe in hys
+dethe bedde._ xv.
+
+
+¶ A ryche couetous marchant there was that dwellid in London, which euer
+gaderyd mony and could neuer fynd in hys hert to spend ought _vpon_ hym
+selfe nor vpon no man els. Whiche fell sore syke, and as he laye on hys
+deth bed had his purs lyenge at his beddys hede, and [he] had suche a
+loue to his money that he put his hande in his purs, and toke out therof
+x or xii li. in nobles and put them in his mouth. And because his wyfe
+and other perceyued hym very syke and lyke to dye, they exortyd hym to
+be confessyd, and brought the curate vnto hym. Which when they had
+caused him to say Benedicite, the curate bad hym crye God mercy and
+shewe to hym his synnes. Than this seyck man began to sey: I crey God
+mercy I haue offendyd in the vii dedly synnes and broken the x
+commaundementes; but[26] because of the gold in his mouth he muffled so
+in his speche, that the curate could not well vnderstande hym: wherfore
+the curat askyd hym, what he had in his mouthe that letted his spech. I
+wys, mayster parsone, quod the syke man, muffelynge, I haue nothyng in
+my mouthe but a lyttle money; bycause I wot not whither[27] I shal go, I
+thought I wold take some spendynge money with me: for I wot not what
+nede I shall haue therof; and incontynent after that sayeng dyed, before
+he was confessyd or repentant that any man coulde perceyue, and so by
+lyklyhod went to the deuyll.
+
+By this tale ye may se, that they that all theyr lyues wyll neuer do
+charyte to theyr neghbours, that God in tyme of theyr dethe wyll not
+suffre them to haue grace of repentaunce.
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[26] Orig. reads _and_: _but_ seems to be required.
+
+
+
+
+¶ _Of the mylner that stale the nuttes of the tayler that stale a
+shepe._ xvi.
+
+
+¶ There was a certayne ryche husbandman in a vyllage, whiche louyd
+nuttes meruelously well and sette trees of fylberdes and other nutte
+trees in his orcharde, and norysshed them well all his lyfe; and when he
+dyed he made his executours to make promyse to bery with him in his
+graue a bagge of nuttes, or els they sholde not be his executours;
+which executours, for fere of lesynge of theyre romes[28] fulfylled his
+mynde and dyd so. It happenyd that, the same nyghte after that he was
+beryed, there was a mylner in a whyte cote cam to this mannes garden to
+the entent to stele a bagge of nuttes; and in the way he met wyth a
+tayler in a black cote, an vnthrift of hys acquayntance, and shewyd hym
+hys intent. This tayler lykewyse shewyd hym, that he intendyd the same
+tyme to stele a shepe; and so they bothe there agred to go forwarde
+euery man seuerally wyth hys purpose; and after that they apoynted to
+make god chere eche wyth other and to mete agayn in the chyrch porch,
+and he that cam fyrste to tarye for the other. This mylner, when he had
+spede of hys nuttys, came furst to the chyrch porch, and there taryed
+for hys felow, and the mene whyle satte styll there and knakked nuttes.
+It fortuned than the sexten of the church, because yt was about ix of
+the cloke, cam to ryng curfue; and whan he lokyd in the porche and sawe
+one all in whyte knakkynge nuttes he had wente[29] it had bene the dede
+man rysyn owt of hys graue, knakkynge the nuttes that were beryed wyth
+hym, and ran home agayne in all hast and tolde to a krepyll that was in
+his house what he had sene. Thys crepyll, thus herynge hym, rebuked the
+sexten and sayd that yf he were able to go he wolde go thyder and
+coniure the spyryte. By my trouthe, quod the sexten, and yf thou darest
+do that, I wyll bere the on my neck; and so they both agreed. The sexten
+toke the creple on his nek, and cam in to the chyrchyarde again, and the
+mylner in the porch seeing[30] one comynge beryng a thynge on his necke
+had went[31] it had ben the tayler comynge with the shepe, and rose vp
+to mete them. And as he cam towarde them, he askyd and sayd: is he fat,
+is he fat? The sexten, heryng hym sey so, for fere cast the crepull down
+and sayd: fatte or lene, take hym as he is; and ranne awaye; and the
+creple by myracle was made hole, and ran away as fast as he or faster.
+Thys mylner perceyuyng that they were two, and that one ran after an
+other, thoughte that one had spyed the tayler stelyng the shepe, and
+that he had ron after hym to haue taken hym; and fearyng that one had
+spyed hym also stelynge the nuttes, he for feare lefte hys nuttes behynd
+him; and as secretly as he cowde ran home to hys myll. And anon after
+that he was gone, the tayler cam wyth the stolen shepe vppon hys necke
+to the chyrche to seke the mylner; and whan he fownde there the nutte
+shalys,[32] he supposyd that his felow had ben ther and gone home, as he
+was in dede; wherfore he toke vp the shepe agayne on his necke, [and]
+went towarde the myll. But yet durynge this while, the sexten which
+ranne away went not to hys owne house, but went to the parysh prestys
+chamber, and shewyd hym how the spyryt of the man was rysen out of hys
+graue knacking nuttes, as ye haue hard before; wherfore the prest sayd
+that he wolde go coniure hym, yf the sexten wolde go wyth hym; and so
+they bothe agreed. The prest dyd on hys surples and a stole about hys
+necke, and toke holy water wyth hym, and cam wyth the sexten toward the
+church; and as sone as he entred in the chyrche yard, the talyer wyth
+the whyte shepe on hys neck intendyng, as I before haue shewyd yow, to
+go downe to the myll, met with them, and had went that the prest in his
+surples had ben the mylner in his whyte cote, and seyd to hym: by God! I
+haue hym, I haue hym! meanynge thereby[33] the shepe that he had stolen.
+The prest, perceyuynge the tayller all in blake and a whyte thynge on
+hys nek, had went it had ben the deuyll beryng away the spyryte of the
+dede man that was beryed, and ran away as fast as he coude, takyng the
+way down towarde the myl, and the sexten ronnyng after hym. Thys tayler,
+seying one folowyng hym, had went that one had folowed the mylner to
+haue done hym som hurt, and thought he wold folow, if nede were to help
+the milner; and went forth, tyl he cam to the mill and knocked at the
+myll dore. The mylner beynge wythin asked who was there. The tayler
+answeryd and sayd: by God! I haue caught one of them, and made hym sure
+and tyed hym fast by the legges. But the mylner, heryng him sey that he
+had hym tyed fast by the legges, had went it had ben the constable, that
+had taken the tayler for stelyng of the shepe, and had tyed hym by the
+legges; and ferid that he had come to haue taken hym also for stelynge
+of the nuttes: wherfore the mylner opened a bak dore, and ran away as
+fast as he could. The tayler, herynge the backe dore openynge, wente to
+the other syde of the myll, and there saw the mylner ronnyng away, and
+stode ther a lytyll whyle musyng wyth the shepe on his necke. Then was
+the parysshe preest and the sexten standynge there vnder the mylhouse
+hydyng them for fere, and seeing[34] the tayler agayn with the shepe on
+hys nek, had wende styll it had ben the deuyll wyth the spyryt of the
+dede man on[35] hys nek, and for fere ran awaye; but because they knew
+not the grounde well, the preste lepte into a dyche almoste ouer the hed
+lyke to be drownyde, that he cryed wyth a loude voyce: help, helpe! Than
+the tayler lokyd about, and seeing[36] the mylner ronne away and the
+sexten a nother way, and hearing[37] the preste creye helpe, had went it
+had ben the constable wyth a great company cryeng for helpe to take him
+and to bring hym to pryson for stelyng of the shepe: wherfore he threwe
+down the shepe and ran away another way as fast as he coud: and so euery
+man was afferd of other wythout cause.
+
+By thys ye may se well, it is foly for any man to fere a thyng to moche,
+tyll that he se some profe or cause.
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[27] Orig. reads _whether_.
+
+[28] Places or appointments. This is one of the best stories of the kind
+in the present or any other collection, in our own or other languages.
+The construction is excellent.
+
+[29] Weened (guessed).
+
+[30] Orig. reads _saw_.
+
+[31] weened.
+
+[32] shells.
+
+[33] In orig. _by_.
+
+[34] Orig. reads _saw_.
+
+
+
+
+¶ _Of the foure elementes where they shoulde sone be founde._ xvii.
+
+
+¶ In the old world when all thyng could speke, the iiii elementys[38]
+mette to geder for many thynges whych they had to do, because they must
+meddell alway one wyth a nother, and had communicacion to gyder of
+dyuers maters; and by cause they coulde not conclude all theyr maters at
+that season, they appoyntyd to breke communicacion for that tyme and to
+mete agayne another tyme. Therfore eche one of them shewed to other
+where theyr most abydyng was and where theyr felows shoulde fynde them,
+yf nede shuld requyre; and fyrste the erthe sayde: bretherne, ye knowe
+well as for me I am permanent alway and not remouable; therfore ye may
+be sure to haue me alway whan ye lyste. The wather sayde: yf ye lyst to
+seke me, ye shall be sure to haue me under a toft of grene rushes or
+elles in a womans eye. The wynde sayde: yf ye lyst to speke wyth me, ye
+shall be sure to haue me among aspyn leuys or els in a womans tong. Then
+quod the fyre: yf any of you lyst to seke me, ye shall euer be sure to
+fynd me in a flynt stone er elles in a womans harte.
+
+By thys tale ye may lerne as well the properte of the iiii elementys as
+the properteis[39] of a woman.
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[35] Orig. reads _of_.
+
+[36] The orig. _saw_.
+
+[37] Orig. _hard_, i.e. _heard_.
+
+[38] There is perhaps an allusion here to the _Interlude of the Four
+Elements_, supposed to have been printed about 1510 by John Rastell.
+
+
+
+
+¶ _Of the woman that poured the potage in the iudges male._ xviii.
+
+
+¶ There was a iustyce but late in the reame of England callyd master
+Vavesour,[40] a uery homely man and rude of condycyons, and louyd neuer
+to spend mych money. Thys master Vauysour rode on a tyme in hys
+cyrcuyte in the northe contrey, where he had agreed wyth the sheryf for
+a certain some of money for hys charges thorowe the shyre, so that at
+euery inne and lodgynge this master Vauysour payd for hys owne costys.
+It fortunyd so, that when he cam to a certayn lodgyng he comaunded one
+Turpyn hys seruant to se that he used good husbondry[41] and to saue
+suche thynges as were left and to cary it wyth hym to serue hym at the
+nexte baytynge. Thys Turpyn, doyng hys maystres commandement, toke the
+broken bred, broken mete and all such thyng that was left, and put it in
+hys maysters cloth sak. The wyfe of the hous, perceyuing that he toke
+all suche fragmentys and vytayle wyth hym that was left, and put it in
+the cloth sake, she brought vp the podage that was left in the pot; and
+when Turpyn had torned hys bake a lytyl asyde, she pouryd the podage in
+to the cloth sake, whych ran vpon hys robe of skarlet and other of hys
+garmentys and rayed[42] them very euyll, that they were mych hurt
+therwyth. Thys Turpyn, sodeynly turnyng[43] hym and seeing[44] it,
+reuyled the wyfe therfore, and ran to hys mayster and told hym what she
+had don: wherfore master Vauesour incontinent callyd the wyf and seyd to
+her thus: thou drab, quod he, what hast thow don? why hast thou pourd
+the podage in my cloth sake and marrd my rayment and gere? O, syr, quod
+the wyfe, I know wel ye ar a iudge of the realme, and I perceyue by you
+your mind is to do ryght and to haue that is your owen; and your mynd is
+to haue all thyng wyth you that ye haue payd for, both broken mete and
+other thynges that is left, and so it is reson that ye haue; and
+therfore be cause your seruant hath taken the broken mete and put it in
+your cloth sak, I haue therin put the potage that be left, because ye
+haue wel and truly payed for them. Yf I shoulde kepe ony thynge from you
+that ye haue payed for, paraduenture ye wold troble me in the law a
+nother tyme.
+
+Here ye may se, that he that playth the nygarde to mych, som tyme it
+torneth him to hys owne losse.
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[39] Orig. reads _properte is_.
+
+[40] _Vide infra._
+
+[41] economy.
+
+[42] defiled, from Fr. _rayer_, to shine and give light, as the rays of
+the sun, and thence to streak with lines of dirt, and so to soil. The
+word is not common. See Nares art _ray_ (edit. 1859), and Cotgrave art
+_rayer_ (edit. 1650).
+
+[43] Orig. reads _turnyd_.
+
+[44] Orig. reads _saw_.
+
+
+
+
+¶ _Of the wedded men that came to heuen to clayme theyr herytage._ xix.
+
+
+¶ A certayn weddyd man there was whyche, whan he was dede, cam to heuen
+gates to seynt Peter, and sayd he cam to clayme hys bad heretage whyche
+he had deseruyd. Saynt Peter askyd hym what he was, and he sayd a
+weddyd man. Anon Saynt Peter openyd the gatys, and bad hym to com in,
+and sayde he was worthye to haue hys herytage, bycause he had had much
+troble and was worthye to haue a crowne of glory. Anon after there cam a
+nother man that claymyd heuen, and sayd to Seynt Peter he had hade ii
+wyues, to whom Saynt Peter answered and said: come in, for thou art
+worthy to haue a doble crown of glory: for thou hast had doble trouble.
+At the last there cam the thyrd, claymynge hys herytage and sayde to
+Saynt Peter that he had had iii wyues, and desyryd to come in. What!
+quod Saynt Peter, thou hast ben ones in troble and thereof delyueryd,
+and than wyllingly woldyst be troblyd again, and yet agayne therof
+delyueryd; and for all that coulde not beware the thyrde tyme, but
+enterest wyllyngly in troble agayn: therfore go thy waye to Hell: for
+thou shalt neuer come in heuen: for thou art not worthy.
+
+Thys tale is a warnyng to them that haue bene twyse in paryll to beware
+how they come therin the thyrd tyme.
+
+
+
+
+¶ _Of the merchaunte that charged his sonne to fynde one to synge for
+hys soule._ xx.
+
+
+¶ A ryche marchant of London here was, that had one sonne that was
+somewhat vnthryfty. Therfore hys fader vppon hys deth bed called hym to
+hym, and sayde he knew well that he had ben vnthryfty; how be it, yf he
+knew he wold amend hys condycyons he wolde make hym hys executour and
+leue hym hys goods, so that he wolde promyse hym to pray for hys soule
+and so fynde one dayly to syng for hym: which thyng to performe hys
+sonne there made a faythfull promyse. After that this man made hym hys
+executour, and dyed. But after that hys sonne kept such ryot, that in
+short tyme he had wasted and spente all, and had nothynge left but a
+henne and a cocke that was his fader's. It fortunyd than that one of hys
+frendys came to hym, and sayd he was sory that he had wasted so moch,
+and askyd hym how he wolde performe hys promyse made to hys fader that
+he wolde kepe one to syng for hym. Thys yong man answered and sayde: by
+God! yet I wyll performe my promyse: for I wyll kepe this same cocke
+alyue styl, and he wyl krow euery day, and so he shall synge euery day
+for my faders soule; and so I wyl performe my promyse wel ynough.
+
+By thys ye maye se, that it is wysdome for a man to do good dedys hym
+selfe, whyle he is here, and not to trust to the prayer and promyse of
+hys executours.
+
+
+
+
+¶ _Of the mayde wasshynge clothes that answered the frere._ xxi.
+
+
+¶ There was a mayde stode by a reuers syde in her smoke,[45] wasshynge
+clothes, and as she stouped ofttymes, her smocke cleued betune her
+buttockkes. By whome there cam a frere, seynge[46] her and sayde in
+sporte: mayde, mayde, take hede: for Bayarde bytes on the brydell.[47]
+Nay, wys [I], master frere, quod the mayden, he doth but wype hys
+mouthe, and wenyth ye wyll come and kysse hym.
+
+By thys ye may se that womans answer is neuer to seke.
+
+
+
+
+¶ _Of the thre wyse men of Gotam._ xxii.
+
+
+¶ A certayn man there was dwellynge in a towne called Gotam that went to
+a fayre iii myle for to bye shepe; and as he cam ouer a bryge he met
+with one of hys neyghbours and told hym whether[48] he went, and askyd
+hym whych way he wold bryng them. Whyche sayd he wolde brynge them ouer
+the same bryge. Nay, quod the other man, but thou shalt not, by God!
+quod
+
+  _4 lines of the original are wanting._
+
+_Presently there came a milner, who bore a sack of_[49] mele vpon a
+horse, a neybour of theyrs, and paciently askyd them what was the cause
+of theyr varyaunce; which than she_wyd to hym_ the mater and cause, as
+ye haue harde. Thys thyrde man, the mylner, _beganne_ for to rebuke them
+by a famylyer example, and toke his sacke of mele _from_ his horse backe
+and openyd it, and pouryd all the mele in the sacke ouer the brydge into
+the ronnynge ryuer; wherby all the mele was lost, and sayde thus: by my
+trouthe, neybours, because ye stryue for dryuynge ouer the brydge those
+shepe which be not yet boughte, nor wotte not where they be, me thynketh
+therfore there is euen as moche wytte in your hedes as there is mele now
+in my _sacke_.
+
+Thys tale shewyth you, that som man takyth _upon him for to teche_ other
+men wysdome, when he is but a fole hymselfe.
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[45] smock.
+
+[46] _i.e._ who saw her.
+
+[47] An unregistered proverb, perhaps. The meaning is tolerably clear.
+See _Tarlton's Newes Out of Purgatarie_ (1590). edit. Halliwell, p. 93.
+
+[48] Whither.
+
+
+
+
+¶ _Of the graye frere that answered his penytente._ xxiii.
+
+
+¶ A man there was that cam to confesse hym to a _prest and tolde_ hym,
+that he had layne with a yonge gentyll woman. The _prest then_ asked
+hym in what place; and he sayde it was in * * * all nyght longe in a
+soft warme bed. The frere herynge that * * * thys and sayd: Now, by
+swete seynt Francys, then, wast thou very[50] * * *
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[49] I am myself responsible for these few words in italic, which I have
+supplied from conjecture.
+
+
+
+
+¶ _Of the gentylman that bare the sege borde on hys necke._ xxiv.
+
+
+¶ A CHANDELER beynge a wydower, dwellynge at Holborne, _neere_ London,
+had a fayr doughter whom a yonge gentelman of Dauys Ynne[51] woyd[52]
+sore to haue hys pleasure of her, whyche by longe sute to her made, at
+the last graunted hym, and poynted hym to com upon a nyghte to her
+faders hous in the euenynge, and she wold conuey hym into her chamber
+secretly, which was an inner chamber within her faders chamber. So
+accordynge to the poyntment all thynge was performed, so that he lay
+wyth her all nyght, and made good chere tell about foure a clocke in the
+mornynge, at whyche tyme it fortunyd this yonge gentylman fell a
+coughynge, whych cam vpon hym so sore that he could not refrayn. Thys
+wench, than fering her fader that lay in the next chamber, bad hym go
+put hys hede in the draught, lest that her fader shold here hym: whych
+after her councel rose in his shyrte, and so dyd. But than because of
+the sauour of the draught it causyd hym to coughe moche more and louder,
+that the wenchys fader herde it, and askyd of hys daughter what man it
+was that coughed in her chamber. She aswered and said: no body. But euer
+this yong man coughed styll more and more, whom the fader herynge sayd:
+by Goddes body! hore, thou lyest; I wyll se who is there;--and rose out
+of his bedde. Thys wenche perceyued her fader rysinge, [and] cam to the
+gentylman and sayde: take hede syr to your selfe: for my fader comyth.
+This gentylman, sodeynly therwyth abasshyd, wolde haue pullyd his hede
+oute of the draughte hole, which was [so] very streyghte for hys hede
+that he pullyd the sege borde vp therwyth, and, [it] hangyng about his
+neck, ran vpon the fader beynge an olde man, and gaue hym a great fall
+and bare _him to the ground_.
+
+  _8 lines wanting._
+
+here was two or thre skyttysh horses whych, when they se this gentylman
+ronnyng, start[ed] asyde and threwe downe the cart wyth colys, and drew
+_backe_ and brake the carte rope, wherby the colys fell out, some in
+one place and _some in_ another; and after the horses brake theyr tracys
+and ranne, some towarde Smythfelde and som toward Newgate. The
+colyar[53] ran after them, and was an houre and more, or[54] euer he
+coulde gette his horses to gyder agayne; by which tyme the people of the
+strete were rysen and cam to the _place_, and saw yt strawyn with colys.
+Euery one for hys parte gaderyd vp _the colys, tyll the_ most parte of
+the colys were gone, or the colyar had got his horses _agayne_. _Duryng
+thys_ whyle the gentylman went thrugh Seynt Andrews _Chyrch Yarde
+towarde_ Dauys Inne, and there met with the sexten commynge to attend to
+_ring the bell for_ morow mas: whych, whan he saw the gentylman in the
+_Chyrche Yarde in hys_ shyrt wyth the draught borde[55] about his neck,
+had wend[56] _it had ben a spryt, and_ cried: alas, alas, a spryt! and
+ran back again to his house almost atte b * * for fere was almoste out
+of his wytte that he was the worse _a long time after_. This gentilman,
+than, because dauys inne gatys were not open, _ranne to the ba_cksyde
+and lept ouer the garden wal; but, in lepyng, the draught-bord so
+troubled hym, that he fell downe into the gardyn and had almoste broken
+his necke: and ther he lay styll, tyll that the pryncypall cam into the
+garden; which, wan he saw hym lye there, had wente some man had ben
+slayne and there caste ouer the wall, and durst not come nye him, tyll
+he had callyd vp hys companye which, when many of the gentylmen[57] wer
+com to gether loked well vppon hym, and knewe hym, and after releuyd
+hym; but the borde that was about hys necke caused his hed so to swell,
+that they coulde not gette it of, tyll they were mynded to cutte it of
+with hatchettys. Thus was the wenche well iaped,[58] and for fere she
+ranne from her fader; her faders arme was hurte; the colyar lost his
+coles; the sexton was almost out of hys wyt; and the gentylman had
+almost broke his necke.
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[50] Perhaps this story, of which we have here a fragment only, was
+similar to the one narrated a little farther on. See Tale 57.
+
+[51] Thavies Inn, near St. Andrew's Church, in Holborn.
+
+[52] wooed.
+
+[53] Orig. reads _that the colyar_.
+
+[54] before.
+
+[55] the seat of the commode.
+
+[56] weened.
+
+
+
+
+¶ _Of the merchantes wyfe that sayd she wolde take a nap at sermon._
+xxv.
+
+
+¶ A marchantys wyfe there was in Bowe parysh in London, somewhat slepte
+in age, to whom her mayde cam on a Sonday in Lente after dyner and
+sayde: maystres, quod she, they rynge at Saynte Thomas of Acres, for
+there shall be a sermon prechyd anon; to whome the mastres answered and
+sayde: mary! Goddys blessynge haue thy harte for warnynge me thereof;
+and because I slepte not well all this nyght, I pray the brynge my stole
+to me: for I wyll go thyder to loke, whether I can take a nappe there,
+whyle the preest is prechynge.
+
+By this ye may se, that many one goth to chyrch as moch for other
+thynges as for deuocyon.
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[57] Orig. reads _gentylman_.
+
+[58] mocked, made a jest of. See Nares (edit. 1859) _in voce_.
+
+
+
+
+¶ _Of the woman that said and she lyued another yere she wolde haue a
+cockoldes hatte of her owne._ xxvi.
+
+  _Of the above tale but a few words remain in the fragment._
+
+
+
+
+¶ _Of the gentylman that wysshed his tothe in the gentylwomans tayle._
+xxvii.
+
+
+¶ A gentylman and gentylwoman satte to gyder talkyng, _which gentylman_
+had great pain in one of his tethe, and hapnyd to say _to the
+gentylwo_man thus: I wys, maystres, I haue a tothe in my hede which
+_greuyth me u_ery sore: wherfore I wold it were in your tayl. She,
+heryng him _say this, answe_ryed thus: in good fayth, syr, yf your tothe
+were in my tayle it coulde _do it but lytle_ good; but yf there be any
+thynge in my tayle that can do your tothe good, I wolde it were in your
+tothe.
+
+By this ye may se that a womans answere is seldome to seke.[59]
+
+
+
+
+¶ _Of the Welcheman that confessyd hym howe he had slayne a frere._
+xxviii.
+
+
+¶ In the tyme of Lente, a Welcheman cam to be confessyd of his curate;
+whych in his confessyon sayde that he had kylled a frere; to whome the
+curate sayd he coulde nat assoyle hym. Yes, quod the Welchman, yf thou
+knewest all, thou woldest assoyle me well ynoughe; and when the curate
+had commandyd hym to shew hym all the case, he sayd thus: mary, there
+were ii freres; and I myght haue slayn them bothe, yf I had lyst; but I
+let the one scape: therfore mayster curate set the tone agaynst the
+tother, and than the offence is not so great but ye may assoyle me well
+ynoughe.
+
+By this ye may se, that dyuers men haue so euyll and larg conscyence
+that they thynke, yf they do one good dede or refrayn from doynge of one
+euyll synne, that yt ys satysfaccyon for other _synnes_ and ofencys.
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[59] This moral is also attached to Tales 21, 44, and 56, in all which
+cases the lady's rejoinder is not less opposed to modern notions of
+female delicacy.
+
+
+
+
+¶ _Of the Welcheman that coude nat gette but a lytell male._ xxix.
+
+
+¶ There was a company of gentylmen[60] in Northamptonshyre which wente
+to hunte for dere in the porlews[61] in the gollet besyde Stony
+Stratford, amonge which gentylmen there was one which had a Welchman to
+his seruante, a good archer; whiche, whan they cam to a place where they
+thought they _should find dere_, apoynted thys Welchman to stand _still,
+and forbade him in_ any wyse to shote at no rascal[62] _dere but to make
+sure of the greate male and_ spare not. Well, quod this Welchman, _I
+will do so_. _Anon cam by many greate dere and_ Rascall; but euer he
+lette them go, and toke no hede to them; and within an houre after he
+saw com rydynge on the hye-waye a man of the contrey, whych had a boget
+hangynge at hys sadyll bowe.[63] And whan this Welcheman had espyed hym,
+he bad hym stande, and began to drawe his bow and bad hym delyuer that
+lytell male that hunge at his sadyll bowe. Thys man, for fere of hys
+lyfe, was glad to delyuer hym hys boget, and so dyd, and than rode hys
+waye, and was glad he was so _escapyd_. And when this man of the
+contrey was gone, thys Welcheman was _very glad_ and wente incontynente
+to seke hys mayster, and at the laste founde hym wyth hys companye; and
+whan he saw hym he came to hym, and sayd thus: mayster, by cottes plut
+and her nayle! I haue stande yonder this two hourys, and I colde se
+neuer a male but a lytell male that a man had hangynge at his sadell
+bow, and thet I haue goten, and lo here it is; and toke his master the
+boget whiche he had taken away from the forsayd man, for the whiche dede
+bothe the mayster and the seruante were afterwarde in greate trouble.
+
+By this ye may lerne, yt is greate folye for a mayster to putte a
+seruaunte to that besynes whereof he can nothynge skyll and wherin he
+hath not ben usyd.
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[60] orig. reads _gentylman_.
+
+[61] purlieus.
+
+[62] a lean beast not worth hunting--_Nares._
+
+[63] The jest here, such as it is, lies in the play on the words male
+(of the deer) and the mail, or post.
+
+
+
+
+¶ _Of the gentyll woman that sayde to a gentyll man: ye haue a berde
+aboue and none benethe._ xxx.
+
+
+¶ A yonge gentylman of the age of xx yere, somwhat dysposed to myrth and
+gaye, on a tyme talked wyth a gentylwoman whyche was ryght wyse and also
+mery. Thys gentylwoman, as she talked with hym, happenyd to loke vpon
+hys berde which was but yonge and somewhat growen vpon the ouer lyppe,
+and but lyttell growen benethe as all other yonge mennys berdes comynly
+vse to grow, and sayd to hym thus: syr, ye haue a berde aboue and none
+beneth; and he, herynge her say so sayde in sporte: maystres, ye haue a
+berde beneth and none aboue. Mary, quod she, than set the tone agaynst
+the tother. Which answere made the gentylman so abasshed, that he had
+not one worde to answere.
+
+
+
+
+¶ _Of the frere that sayde our Lorde fed fyue M. people with iii.
+fysshys._ xxxi.
+
+
+¶ There was a certayn White Frere whiche was a very glotton and a great
+nyggyn,[64] which had an vngracyouse boy that euer folowed hym and bare
+his cloke, and what for the freres glotony and for his chorlysshnes the
+boy, where he wente, cowlde scante gette meate ynoughe: for the frere
+wolde eate almoste all hym selfe. But on a tyme the frere made a sermone
+in the contry, wherin he touched very many myracles whyche Cryste dyd
+afore hys passyon, amonge which he specyally rehersyd the myracle whyche
+Cryste did in fedynge fyue thousande people with fyue louys of brede and
+with iii lytell fysshes; and this frerys boy which caryd not gretely
+for hys mayster * *, _by reason that_ hys mayster was so great a churle,
+_cryed out aloude_ that all the church harde, and sayd: by _my faith,
+then, there were no_ fryers there! whyche answere made all _the people
+laughe, so_ that for shame the frere wente out of the * * * * * he than
+departyd out of the churche * * * *
+
+By thys ye may se that it is honeste * * depart with suche as he hath to
+them * *
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[64] niggard.
+
+
+
+
+¶ _Of the frankelyn that wold haue had the frere gone._ xxxii.
+
+
+¶ A ryche fraynklyn dwellyn in the countie of * * * _had a frere in his_
+house, of whom he could neuer be ryd any _meanes, but he wold tarrye by
+the_ space of a senyght[65] and wold neuer depart; wherfore _the
+franklyn was sore grevud and sadly_ wery of hym. On a tyme as he and hys
+wyfe and this frere _were togydder_, he faynyd hymselfe very angry wyth
+hys wyfe, in somoche that he _smote_ her. Thys frere perseyuyng well
+what they ment sayd * * * I haue bene here this seuenyght whan ye were
+frendys, and _I will tarrye a_ fortenyght lenger but I wyll se you
+frendys agayne, or I depart. _The franklyn_, perceyuynge that he coude
+no good nor wold not depart by none _other meanes_, answeryd hym
+shortely and sayd: by God! frere, but thou shalt abyde here no longer;
+and toke hym by the shulders, and thrust hym out of the dorys of the
+house.
+
+By this ye may se, that he that wyl lerne no good by examples in a maner
+to hym shewyd, is worthy to be taught wyth open rebuke.
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[65] a week.
+
+
+
+
+¶ _Of the prest that sayd Our Lady was not so curyous a woman._ xxxiii.
+
+
+¶ In the towne of Bottelley dwellyd a mylner, whiche had a good homely
+wenche to his doughter, whome the curate of the nexte towne louyd, and,
+as the fame went, had her at hys pleasure. But on a tyme thys curat
+prechyd of those curyouse wyues now a dayes, and whether it were for the
+nonys,[66] or whether it cam oute at all aduenturys, he had penyd to say
+thus in hys sermon: ye wyues, ye be so curyous in all your warkes, that
+ye wot not what ye meane, but ye shold folow Oure Lady. For Our Lady was
+nothynge so curyous as ye be; but she was a good homely wenche lyke the
+mylners doughter of Botteley. At whych sayng all the parishons made
+gret laughyng, and specyally they that knew that he louyd that same
+wenche.
+
+By this ye may se, it is gret foly for a man that is suspectyd with any
+person to praise or to name the same parson openly, lest it bryng hym in
+forther sclaunder.
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[66] nonce.
+
+
+
+
+¶ _Of the good man that sayde to his wyfe he had euyll fare._ xxxiv.
+
+
+¶ A frere Lymytour[67] come into a pore mannys howse in the countrey,
+and because thys pore man thought thys frere myght do hym some good, he
+therefore thought to make hym good chere. But bycause hys wyfe wold
+dresse hym no good mete for coste, he therfore at dyner tyme sayd thus:
+by God! wyfe, bycause thou dyddest dresse me no good mete to my dyner,
+were it not for mayster frere, thou shouldest haue halfe a dosyn
+strypes. Nay, syr, quod the frere, I pray you spare not for me; wherwyth
+the wyfe was angry, and therfore at souper she caused them to fare wors.
+
+
+
+
+¶ _Of the frere that had hys chylde make a laten_ xxxv.
+
+
+_But very few words remain of this Tale._
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[67] Mendicant friar.
+
+
+
+
+¶ _Of the gentylman that asked the frere for his beuer._ xxxvi.
+
+
+¶ _In the terme_ tyme a good old gentylman, beyng a lawyer, cam to
+Lon_don to the_ terme; and as he cam he hapenyd to ouertake a frere,
+which _was an un_thrift and went alone wythout hys beuer: wherfore this
+_gentylman asked_ thys frere, where was hys beuer that shold kepe hym
+compa_ny, and sayd it was_ contrary to his relygyon to go alone, and it
+wolde cause people to suppose hym to be som apostata or som vnthryft. By
+God, syr, quod the _frere! my beuer_ commaundeth hym unto your
+master-shyp. Why, quod the gentylman, I knowe hym not. Than (quod the
+frere to the gentylman), ye are the more fole to aske for hym.
+
+By thys tale ye may se, that he that geueth counsell to any vnthryft,
+and _tech_eth hym hys dutye, shall haue oftymes but a mock for his
+labour.
+
+
+
+
+¶ _Of the thre men that chose the woman._ xxxvii.
+
+
+¶ Thre gentylmen cam into an Inne, where a fayre woman was tapster:
+wherfore, as these thre satte there makynge mery, eche of them kyssed
+her, and made good pastyme and plesure. Howbeit one spake merley[68]
+and sayde: I can not se how this gentylwoman is able to make pastyme and
+pleasure to vs all thre excepte that she were departed in thre partes.
+By my trouthe, quod one of them, yf that she myght be departed, than I
+wolde chuse for my parte her hed and her fayre face, that I myghte alway
+kysse her. Than quod the seconde: I wolde haue the breste and harte: for
+there lyeth her loue. Than quod the thyrd: then ther is nothyng left for
+me but the loynys, buttockes and legges; I am contente to haue it for my
+parte. And whan these gentylmen had passed the tyme there by the space
+of one hour or ii, they toke theyr leue and were goynge awaye; but, or
+the went, the thyrd man whych had chosen the bely and the buttockys did
+kys the tapyster and bad her farewell. What! quod the fyrste man that
+had chosen the face and the mouth, why dost thou so? thou dost me wronge
+to kysse my parte that I haue chosen of her. O! quod the other, I pray
+the be nat angry: for I am contente that thou shal kys my parte for it.
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[68] Merrily.
+
+
+
+
+¶ _Of the gentylman that taught his cooke the medycyne for the tothake._
+xxxviii.
+
+
+¶ In Essex there dwellyd a mery gentylman, whyche had a coke callyd
+Thomas that was greatly dysseasyd with the tothake, and complaynyd to
+hys mayster thereof; whych sayd he had a boke of medecins and sayd he
+wold loke vp hys boke to se whether he could fynd any medecyn therin for
+it, and so sent[69] one of hys doughters to hys study for hys boke, and
+incontynent lokyd uppon yt a long season; and than sayd thus to hys
+coke: Thomas, quod he, here is a medesyn for your tothake; and yt ys a
+charm; but yt wyl do you no good except ye knele on your knees, and aske
+yt for Sent Charyte. Thys man, glad to be relesyd of hys payn, kneled
+and sayd: mayster, for Seint Charyte, let me haue that medecyne. Than,
+quod thys gentylman, knele on your knees and say after me; whyche knelyd
+down and sayd after hym as he bad hym. Thys gentylman began and sayd
+thus:--
+
+"The son on the Sonday."
+
+"The son on the Sonday," quod Thomas.
+
+"The mone on the Monday."
+
+"The mone on the Monday."
+
+"The Trynyté on the Tewsday."
+
+"The Trynyté on the Tewsday."
+
+"The wyt on the Wednysday."
+
+"The wyt on the Wednysday."
+
+"The holy holy Thursday."
+
+"The holy holy Thursday."
+
+"And all that fast on Fryday."
+
+"And all that fast on Friday."
+
+"---- in thy mouthe on Saterday."
+
+Thys coke Thomas,[70] heryng hys mayster thus mokkyng hym, in anger
+stert vp and sayd: by Goddys body! mokkyng churle, I wyll neuer do the
+seruyce more; and went forth to hys chamber to gete hys gere to geder to
+thentent to haue gon thens by and by; but what for the anger that he
+toke wyth his mayster for the mok that he gaue hym, and what for labor
+that he toke to geder hys gere so shortly togeder, the payne of the
+tothake went from hym incontynent, that hys mayster cam to hym and made
+hym to tarry styll, and tolde hym that hys charme was the cause of the
+ease of the payne of the tothake.
+
+By thys tale ye may se, that anger oftymes puttyth away the bodely
+payne.
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[69] orig. reads _send_.
+
+[70] orig. reads Thomas coke. In the orig. the text runs on in the above
+passage, which is generally done in old books to save room.
+
+
+
+
+¶ _Of the gentylman that promysed the scoler of Oxforde a sarcanet
+typet._ xxxix.
+
+
+¶ A scoler of Oxford latley made Mayster of Art cam in to the cyte of
+London, and in Poulys mette with the sayd mery gentleman of Essex, which
+was euer disposyd to play many mery pageants,[71] wyth whom before he
+had bene of famylyer accoyntaunce and prayd hym to give hym a sercenet
+typet. This gentylman, more lyberall of promyse than of gyfte, grauntyd
+hym he should haue one, yf he wold com to hys lodgyng to the sygne[72]
+of the Bull wythout Byshops gate in the next mornynge at vi of the
+cloke. Thys scoler thankyd hym, and for that nyght departyd to hys
+lodgyng in Flete Strete, and in the mornyng erely as he poyntyd cam to
+hym to the sygne of the Bull. And as [soon as] thys gentylman saw hym,
+he bad hym go wyth hym in to the Cyte, and he sholde be sped anon;
+whyche incontynent went togyder, tyll they[73] cam in to seynt Laurence
+Church in the Jury, where the gentylman espyed a preste raueshyd to
+masse[74] and [he] told the skoller that "yonder is the preste that
+hath the typet for you," and bad hym knele downe in the pew, and he
+shold speke to hym for it. And incontynent thys gentylman went to the
+preest and sayd: syr, here is a skoller, a kynnysman of myne, gretly
+dyseasyed wyth the chyncough.[75] I pray you, whan masse is donne, gyue
+hym iii draughtys of your chales. The preest grantyd hym, and tornyd hym
+to the skoler, and sayd: syr, I shall serue you as sone as I haue sayd
+masse. The skoler than taryed styll and herd the mas, trusting that whan
+the masse was done, that the preste wold giue hym hys typet of sarcenet.
+Thys gentylman in the meane whyle departyd out of the chyrche. Thys
+preste, whan mas was done, putte wyne in the chales, and cam to the
+skoler knelyng in the pew, profferyng hym to drynk of the chales. Thys
+skoler lokyd upon hym, and musyd and sayd: why, master parson, wherfore
+profer ye me the chales? Mary, quod the prest, for the gentylman told me
+ye were dysseasyd with the chyncough, and prayd me therfor that for a
+medecyne ye might drynk of the chales. Nay, by seynt mary, quod the
+scoler, he promysyd me ye shulde delyuer me a tipet of sarcenet. Nay,
+quod the preest, he spake to me of no typet, but he desyred me to gyue
+yow drynk of the chales for the chyncough. By Goddis body, quod the
+scoler, he is, as he was euer wont to be, but a mokkyng wretch, and
+if[76] I lyue I shall quyte hym; and so departid out of the church in
+great anger.
+
+By thys tale ye may percyue, it is no wysdom for a man to truste to a
+man to do a thing, that is contrary to hys old accustumyd condycyons.
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[71] tricks and pranks.
+
+[72] orig. reads _synne_.
+
+[73] orig. reads _he_.
+
+[74] Intently engaged in the celebration of mass. "St. Lawrence Jewry,"
+says Mr. Cunningham (_Handbook of Lond._ 471,) "stood in King Street,
+Cheapside. It was destroyed in the Fire of 1666, and was rebuilt by Sir
+C. Wren."
+
+[75] Hooping-cough.
+
+
+
+
+¶ _Of mayster Skelton that brought the bysshop of Norwiche ii
+fesauntes._ xl.
+
+
+¶ It fortuned ther was a great varyance bitwen the bysshop of Norwych
+and one master Shelton[77] a poyet lauryat, in so much that the bysshop
+commaundyd hym that he shuld not come in his gatys. Thys mayster Skelton
+dyd absent hym selfe for a long seson; but at the laste he thought to do
+hys dewty to hym, and studyed weys how he myght obtayne the bysshopys
+fauour, and determynyd hem self that he wold come to hym wyth some
+present and humble hym self to the byshop; and [he] gat a cople of
+fesantes and cam to the bysshuppys place, and requyryd the porter he
+might come in to speke wyth my lord. This porter, knowyng his lordys
+pleasure, wold not suffer him to come in at the gatys: wherfor thys
+mayster Skelton went on the baksyde to seke some other way to come into
+the place. But the place was motyd, [so] that he cowlde se no way to
+come ouer except in one place, where there lay a long tree ouer the
+motte in maner of a brydge that was fallyn down wyth wynd: wherfore thys
+mayster Skelton went a long vpon the tree to come ouer; and whan he was
+almost ouer hys fote slypyd for lak of sure fotyng, and [he] fel in to
+the mote vp to the myddyll. But at the last he recoueryd hym self, and
+as wel as he coud dryed hymself ageyne, and sodenly cam to the byshop,
+beyng in hys hall than lately rysen from dyner, whyche, whan he saw
+Skelton commyng sodenly, sayd to hym: why, thow catyfe, I warnyd the
+thow shuldys neuer come in at my gatys and chargyd my porter to kepe the
+out. Forsoth, my lorde, quod Skelton, though ye gaue suche charge and
+though your gatys be neuer so suerly kept: yet yt ys no more possible to
+kepe me out of your dorys than to kepe out crowes or pyes: for I cam not
+in at your gatys, but I cam ouer the mote, [so] that I haue ben almost
+drownyd for my labour; and shewyd his clothys how euyll he was arayed,
+whych causyd many that stode therby to laughe apace. Than quod Skelton:
+yf it lyke your lordeshyp, I haue brought you a dyshe to your super, a
+cople of Fesantes. Nay, quod the byshop, I defy the and thy Fesantys
+also, and, wrech as thou art, pyke the out of my howse, for I wyll none
+of thy gyft how * * * * Skelton, than consyderynge that the bysshoppe
+called hym fole so ofte, sayd to one of hys famylyers therby that,
+thoughe it were euyll to be christened a fole, yet it was moche worse to
+be confyrmed a fole of suche a bysshoppe: for the name of confyrmacyon
+must nedes abyde. Therfore he ymagened howe he myghte auoyde that
+confyrmacyon, and mused a whyle; and at the laste sayde to the bysshope
+thus: if your lordeshype knewe the names of these fesantes ye wold _be_
+contente to take them. Why, caytese, quod the bisshoppe hastly and
+angrey, _what_ be theyr names? Y wys, my lorde, quod Skelton, this
+fesante is called Alpha, which is in primys--the fyrst; and this is
+called O, that is novissimus, the last; and for the more playne
+vnderstandynge of my mynde, if it plese your lordeshype to take them, I
+promyse you this alpha is the fyrste that euer I gaue you, and this O is
+the laste that euer I wyll gyue you whyle I lyue. At which answere all
+that were by made great laughter, and they all _desired the Bishoppe_ to
+be good lorde vnto him for his merye conceytes, at which _earnest
+entrety, as it_ wente, the bysshope was contente to take hym vnto his
+fauer agayne.
+
+By thys tale ye may se, that mery conceytes dothe _a man more_ good than
+to frete hymselfe with _anger_ and melancholy.
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[76] orig. reads _ever_.
+
+[77] The celebrated poet. The bishop was of course Bishop Nykke, Nikke,
+or Nyx, as the name is variously spelled. He held the see from 1501 to
+1536.
+
+
+
+
+¶ _Of the yeman of garde that sayd he wolde bete the carter._ xli.
+
+
+¶ A yoman of the kynges garde, dwellynge in a vyllage besyde London, had
+a very fayre yonge wife. To whome a carter of the towne, _a mery_
+fellowe, resorted and laye with her dyuers tymes, whan her husbande was
+on garde; and thys was so openly knowen that all the towne spake therof.
+_A certaine yonge_ man of the towne well acquoyntyd with thys yeman
+_told him_ that suche a carter hadde layne by his wyfe. To whome _this
+yeman of the garde_ sware by Goddes body, if he mette with hym it
+_should go harde but he wolde bete him well._ _Hey_, quod the yonge man,
+if ye go streyght euen nowe the _right way_, ye _shall_ ouertake him
+dryuyng a carte laden with haye towarde London; wherfore the yeman of
+the garde incontynent rode after this carter, and within shorte space
+overtoke him and knewe him well ynoughe, and incontynent called the
+carter to him and sayd thus: Syrra, I vnderstande that thou doste lye
+euery nyght with my wyfe, whan I am from home. Thys carter beynge no
+thynge afrayde of hym answered, ye, marry, what than? What than, quod
+the yeman of garde! By Goddys harte! hadst thou nat tolde me truth, I
+wolde haue broke thy hede. And so the yeman of garde retourned, and no
+hurte done, no stroke stryken nor proferyed.
+
+By this ye may se, that the greatyst crakers somtyme, whan it commeth to
+the profe, be moste cowardes.
+
+
+
+
+¶ _Of the fole that saide he had leuer go to hell than to heuen._ xlii.
+
+
+¶ A fole there was, that dwelled with a gentylman in the countrey,
+whiche was called a great tyraunte and an extorcyoner. But this fole
+loued his mayster meruaylously, because he cherysshed hym so well. It
+happened * *
+
+  _3 lines wanting._
+
+to heuen; for I had leuer go to hell. Than the other asked hym why he
+had leuer go to hell. By my trouthe, quod the fole: for I wyll go with
+my master; and I am sure my master shall go to hell. For euery man seyth
+he shall go to the deuyll in hell; and therfore I wyll go thyder with
+hym.
+
+
+
+
+¶ _Of the plowmannys sonne that sayde he sawe one make a gose to creke
+sweetly._ xliii.
+
+
+¶ There was a certayn plowmans son of the contrey of the age of xvi
+yeres, that neuer coming moche amonge company but alway went to plough
+and husbandry. On a tyme this yonge lad went to a weddyng with his
+fader, where he se one lute[78] vpon a lute; and whan he came home at
+nyght his moder asked hym, what sporte he had at weddynge. This lad
+answeryd and sayd: by my trouth, moder, quod he, there was one that
+brought a gose in his armes and tykled her so vpon the neck, that she
+crekyd the sweetlyest that I hard gose creke in my lyfe.
+
+
+
+
+¶ _Of the maydes answere that was with chylde._ xliv.
+
+
+¶ At a merchauntes house in London there was a mayde whiche was great
+with chylde, to whom the maystres of the house cam, and comaunded[79]
+her to tell her who was the fader of the chylde. To whom the mayde
+answered: forsooth, nobody. Why, quod the maystres, it is not possyble
+but som man is the fader thereof? To whom the mayd answered: why,
+maystres, why may I not haue a chyld without a man as well as hennys lay
+eggys withhout a cocke?
+
+By this ye may se it is harde to fynde a woman wythout an excuse.
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[78] _Lute_, as a verb, appears to be obsolete. We still say _to
+fiddle_, and no doubt _to lute_ was formerly just as much in use.
+
+[79] Orig. reads _and that commanded_.
+
+
+
+
+¶ _Of the seruaunt that rymyd with hys mayster._ xlv.
+
+
+¶ A gentleman there was dwellynge nygh Kyngston upon Tamys, and rydynge
+in the contrey with his seruaunt which was _not the_ quyckest felowe,
+but rode alway sadly[80] by _his maysters side and uttered_ uery fewe
+wordys. Hys mayster sayd to him: _wherefore rydyst_ thou so saddly? I
+wolde have the tell me some tale to beguyle the tyme with. By my
+trouthe, mayster, quod he, I can tell no tale. Then sayd his mayster:
+canst thou not synge? No by my trouthe, quod he, I coulde neuer synge in
+all my lyfe. Quod the mayster: canst thou ryme? No, by my trouthe, quod
+he, I can not; but yf ye wyll begyn to ryme, I wyll folow as well as I
+can. By my trouth, quod the mayster, that is well; therfore I wyll begyn
+to make a ryme. Let me se how well thou canst folowe thy mayster
+meanwhyle; and then [he] began to ryme thus:--
+
+  "Many mennys swannys swymme in Temmys,
+        And so do myne."
+
+Then quod the seruant:--
+
+  "And many a man lyeth by other mennys wyues,
+        And so do I by thyne."[81]
+
+What dost thou, horeson, quod the mayster? By my trouthe, mayster, no
+thynge, quod he, but make vp the ryme. But quod the mayster: I charge
+the tell me why thou sayest so? Forsothe Mayster, quod he, for nothynge
+in the worlde but to make vp your ryme. Than quod the mayster: yf thou
+doist for nothynge ellys, I am content. So the mayster forgaue hym hys
+saynge, all thoughe he sayd trouthe peraduenture.
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[80] Quietly.
+
+
+
+
+¶ _Of the Welcheman that delyuered the letter to the ape._ xlvi.
+
+
+  _5 first lines wanting._
+
+fauoure to his seruant and commaunded his seruant shortely to br_ynge
+hym an_ answere. This Welcheman came to the chefe Iustyce' place, and
+at _the gate saw_ an ape syttynge there in a cote made for hym, as they
+use to _apparell apes_ for disporte. This Welchman dyd of hys cappe, and
+made curtsye _to the ape and_ sayd: my mayster recommendeth hym to my
+lorde youre father, and sendeth hym here a letter. This ape toke this
+letter and opened it, and _lokyd theron_, and after lokyd vpon the man,
+makynge many mockes and moyes, _as the proper_tyes of apes is to do.
+This Welcheman, because he vnde_rstood hym_ nat, came agayne to his
+mayster accordynge to his commaundes, _and tolde hym he_ delyuered the
+letter vnto my lorde chefe Iustyce' sonne, _who was at the gate_ in a
+furred cote. Anone his mayster asked hym what _answere he broughte. The
+man_ sayd he gaue hym an answere; but it was other Frenche _or Laten:
+for he understode_ him nat. But, syr, quod he, ye nede nat to fere: for
+I saw _in his counte_naunce so moche, that I warrante you he wyll do
+your errande to my lorde his father. This gentylman in truste therof
+made not a_nye further suite_, for lacke wherof his seruaunte, that had
+done the felonye, within a monthe after was rayned at the kynges benche
+and caste, and afterwarde hanged.
+
+By this ye may se that euery wyse man ought to take hede, that _he
+sende nat a fo_lysshe seruaunte vpon a hasty message that is a matter of
+_nede_.
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[81] This, to save space, is printed like prose in the orig.; but it was
+evidently meant to be verse.
+
+
+
+
+¶ _Of hym that solde ryght nought._ xlvii.
+
+
+¶ A _certaine_ felowe there was whiche profered a dagger to sell to a
+fellowe, _the_ which answered hym and sayd, that he had ryght nought _to
+giue_ therfore; wherefore the other sayde that he shulde haue hys dagger
+_upon_ _c_ondycyon that he shulde gyue and delyuer vnto hym therefore
+_within iii_ dayes after ryghte nought, or els forty shyllynges in
+money: wher_on the_ other was contente. Thys bergayne thus agreed, he
+that shulde del_yuer_ his ryght noughte toke no thoughte, vntyll suche
+tyme that the day apoynted drewe nye. At the whiche tyme he began to
+ymagen, howe he myght _delyuer_ this man ryght nought. And fyrst of all
+he thought on a feder, a straw, a pynnes poynte, and suche other; but
+nothynge could he deuyse but that it was somwhat; wherfore he came home
+all sadde and pencyfe for sorowe of losynge of his xl. shyllynges, and
+coulde nother slepe nor take reste, wherof hys wyfe, beynge agreued,
+demaunded the cause of his heuynes; which at the last after many denayes
+tolde her all. Well, syr, quod she, lette me here with alone and gette
+ye forthe a-towne; and I shall handell this matter well
+ynoughe. This man folowynge his wyfes counsell wente forthe of the
+
+  _5 lines wanting._
+
+Therfore, syr, quod she, put your hande in yonder potte, and take your
+money. This man beynge glad thrust his hande in it, supposyng to haue
+taken xl shyllynges of money, and thrust his hande thoroughe it vp to
+the elbowe. Quod the wyfe than: syr, what haue ye there? Mary, quod he,
+ryghte nought. Syr, quod she, than haue ye youre bergayne, and than my
+husbande hathe contented you for his dagger accordynge to his promyse.
+
+By this ye may se, that oftentymes a womans wytte at an extremyte _is
+moche_ better than a mans.
+
+
+
+
+¶ _Of the frere that tolde the thre chyldres fortunes._ xlviii.
+
+
+¶ There was _a frere_ lymyttour whyche wente a lymyttynge to a
+cer_tayne_ towne, wherin dwellyd a certayne ryche man of whome he ne_uer
+coulde_ gette the value of an hal[f]peny: yet he thought he wolde go
+thyder and assaye hem.[82] And as he wente thyderwarde, the wyfe
+stand_yng at the_ dore, perceyuynge hym commynge a farre of, thoughte
+that he _was commynge_ thyther, and by and by ranne in and badde her
+chyldren standyng _thereby_, that if the frere asked for her, say she
+was nat within. The frere _sawe her_ runne in and suspected the cause,
+and came to the dore and asked for the wyfe. The chyldren, as they were
+bydden, sayde that she was nat within. Than stode he styll lokynge on
+the chyldren; and at the laste he called to hym the eldeste and badde
+hym let hym se his hande; and whan he _saw his_ hande: O Jesu! quod he,
+what fortune for the is ordayned! _Then he asked the_ seconde sonne to
+se his hande and, his hande sene, the frere sayd: _O Jesu! what_
+destenye for the is prepared. Than loked he in the thyrde sonnes _hand_.
+_O God!_ quod he, thy desteny is hardest of all; and therwith wente he
+his way. The _wyfe_, heryng these thinges, sodenly ranne out and called
+the frere againe, _and pray_de hym to come in, and after to sytte downe,
+and sette before hym _all the vita_ile that she had. And whan he had
+well eaten and dronken, she be_sought_ hym to tell her the destenyes of
+her chyldren; which at the last after many _difficulties_ tolde her that
+the fyrste shulde be a beggar, the seconde a thefe, the thyrde a
+homicyde; whiche she hearynge fell downe in a soone[83] and toke it
+greuouslye. The frere comforted her and said that, thoughe these were
+theyr fortunes, there myght be remedy had. Than she besought of him[84]
+his counsell. Than said the frere: you must make the eldest that shalbe
+a beggar a frere, and the seconde that shalbe a thefe a man of lawe, and
+the thyrde that shalbe an homicyde a phisicyon.
+
+By this tale ye may lerne, that they that will come to the speche or
+presence of any persone for theyr owne cause, they muste fyrste endeuer
+them selfe to shewe suche matters as those persones most delyte in.
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[82] _i. e._ him. The Orig. reads _them_.
+
+
+
+
+¶ _Of the boy that bare the frere his masters money._ xlix.
+
+
+  _4 lines wanting._
+
+Ye, quod the frere. Than wente the man to the boye and sayd: syr, thy
+mayster byddeth the gyue me xl pens. I wyll nat, quod the boye. Than
+called the man with an hye voyce to the frere and sayd: syr, he sayeth
+he wyll not. Than quod the frere: bete him; and whan the boye harde his
+mayster say so, he gaue the man xl pens.
+
+By this ye may se, it is foly for a man to say ye or nay to a matter,
+excepte he knewe surely what the matter is.
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[83] Swoon.
+
+[84] Orig. reads _besought him of_.
+
+
+
+
+¶ _Of Phylyp Spencer the bochers man._ l.
+
+
+¶ A certayne bocher dwellynge in Saynt Nicolas[85] Flesshambles in
+London, called Poule, had a seruaunte called Peter. Thys Peter on a
+Sonday was at the churche herynge masse; and one of his felowes, whose
+name was Phylyppe Spencer, was sente to call him at the commaundement of
+his maister. So it happened at the tyme that the curat _preched_, and in
+his sermonde touched many auctoryties of the holy scriptures, amonge
+all, the wordes of the pystles of saynt Poule ad[86] phylypenses: howe
+[we] be nat onely bounde to beleue in Chryste but also to suffre for
+Chrystes sake; and [he] sayd these wordes in the pulpet: what sayeth
+Poule ad Phylyppenses to this? Thys yonge man, that was called Philyppe
+Spenser, hadde went he had spoken of him [and] answered shortely and
+sayd: mary, syr, he bad Peter come home and take his parte of a podynge,
+for he shulde go for a Calfe anone. The curate herynge this, was
+abasshed, and all the audyence made great laughter.
+
+By thys ye may se, that it is no token of a wyse man to gyue a soden
+answere to a questyon, before he knowe surely what the matter is.
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[85] Orig, reads _Nocolas_. The Church of St. Nicholas Shambles, which
+formerly stood in the neigbourhood of Newgate Market, was pulled down at
+the Reformation. See Cunningham, _Handbook of London_, in voce.
+
+[86] Orig. reads _and_.
+
+
+
+
+¶ _Of the courtear and the carter._ li.
+
+
+¶ There came a courtyer by a carter, the whiche in derysyon preysed the
+carters backe, legges, and other membres of his body meruaylously, whose
+gestynge the carter perceyued and sayde, he had another properte than
+the courtyer espyed in hym; and whan the courtyer had demanded what it
+shulde be, he lokyd asyde ouer hys shulder vpon the courtyer and sayde
+thus: lo! syr, this is my propertie. I haue a walle eye in my hede: for
+I neuer loke ouer my shulder thys wyse but lyghtlye[87] I spye[88] a
+knaue.
+
+By this tale a man may se, that he that useth to deryde and mocke other
+folkes, is somtyme him selfe more deryded and mocked.
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[87] Quickly.
+
+[88] Orig. reads _lyghtlye espye_.
+
+
+
+
+¶ _Of the yongman that prayd his felow to teche hym hys paternoster._
+lii.
+
+
+¶ A yonge man of the age of xx yere, rude and unlerned, in the tyme of
+Lente came to his curate to be confessed; whiche, whan he was of his
+lyfe serched and examyned could not saye his Pater noster: wherfore his
+confessoure exorted him to lerne his Pater noster and shewed him what an
+holy and goodly prayer it was and the effecte therof and the vii
+peticyons therin contayned. _The i. sanctificetur &c. halowed be thy
+name. The ii. adueniat regnum &c. thy kingdome come. The iii. Fiat
+voluntas &c. thy will be done in earth as it is in heuen. The iv. Panem
+nostrum &c. geue[89] us_ our dayly sustenaunce alway and helpe vs as we
+helpe[90] them that haue nede of us. The v. Dimitte &c. Forgyue vs our
+synnes done to the as we forgyue them that trespas agaynste vs. The vi.
+Et ne nos. Let vs nat be ouercome with euyll temptacyon. The vii. Sed
+libera &c. But delyuer us from all euyll. amen. And than his confessour,
+after this exposicyon to hym made, injoyned hym in penaunce to faste
+euery Fryday on brede and water, tyll he had his Pater noster well and
+sufficiently lerned. This yonge man, mekely acceptyng his penaunce, so
+departed and came home to one of his companyons, and sayde to his
+felowe: so it is that my gostely father hathe gyuen me in penaunce to
+faste euery Fryday [on] brede and water, tyll I can say my Pater noster.
+Therfore I pray thee teche me my Pater noster, and by my truthe I shall
+therfore teche the a songe of Robyn Hode that shall be worth xx of it.
+
+By thys tale ye may lerne to knowe the effecte of the holy prayer of the
+Pater noster.
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[89] Singer's ed. reads _yeve_.
+
+[90] Orig. ed. and Singer read _we haue and helpe them_.
+
+
+
+
+¶ _Of the frere that prechyd in ryme expownynge the ave maria._ liii.
+
+
+¶ A certayne frere there was whiche, vpon Our Lady day the Annuncyacion,
+made a sermon in the Whyte Freres in London, and began his antetexte
+thys wyse. Aue Maria gracia plena dominus tecum &c. These wordes, quod
+the frere, were spoken by the aungell Gabryell to Oure Ladye, whan she
+conceyued Christe; which is as moche to saye in our mother tonge as: all
+hayle, Mary, well thou be; the sonne of God is with the. And furthermore
+the aungell sayde: thou shall conceyue and bere a sonne, and thou shalt
+call his name Jesum; and Elyzabeth thy swete cosyn, she shall conceyue
+the swete Saynt John. And so [he] proceded styll in his sermon in suche
+fonde ryme, that dyuers and many gentylmen of the court that were there
+began to smyle and laughe. The frere that perceyuyng said thus:
+Maysters, I pray you, harke; I shall tell you a narracyon. There was
+ones a yonge preest, that was nat all the best clerke, sayd masse and
+redde a colect thus: Deus qui vigenti filii tui &c. wherfore he shulde
+haue said vnigeniti filii tui &c.; and after, whan masse was done, there
+was suche a gentylman, as one of you are, nowe that had herde this
+masse, came to the preest and sayde thus: syr, I pray you tell me how
+many sonnes had God Almyghty? Quod the preest: why aske you that? Mary,
+syr, quod the gentylman, I suppose he had xx sonnes: for ye sayd right
+nowe: Deus qui viginti filii tui.[91] The preest, perceyuynge how that
+he deryded hym, answered hym shortely and said thus: howe many sonnes so
+euer God Almyghty had, I am sure that thou arte none of them: for thou
+scornyst the worde of God. And so sayde the frere in the pulpet: no more
+are ye none of the chyldren of God: for ye scorne and laughe at me nowe,
+that preche to you the worde of God whiche
+
+  _3 lines wanting._
+
+_By this ye may_[92] perceyue wel that the best, the wysyst and the most
+holyest matter that is, by fond pronuncyacion and otterauns, may be
+marryd nor shall not[93] edyfye to the audyence. Therfore euery proces
+shold[94] be vtteryd wyth wordys and countenaunce conuenyent to the
+matter.
+
+Also yet by thys tale they that be vnlearnyd in the laten tonge may know
+the sestence[95] of the Aue Maria.
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[91] This portion of the tale is repeated in _Scoggin's or Scogin's
+Jests_.
+
+
+
+
+¶ _Of the curat that prechyd the artycles of the Crede._ liv.
+
+
+¶ In a wyllage in Warwykshyre there was a parysh prest, al though he wer
+no great clarke nor graduat of the vnyuersyte, yet he prechid to hys
+paryshons vppon a Sonday, declaryng to them xii artycles of the Crede;
+shewyng them that the furst artycle was to beleue in God the fader
+almyghty maker of heuen and erth; the second, to beleue in Jesu Cryste
+hys onely son our Lorde coequal wyth the fader in all thynges perteynyng
+to the deyte; the thyrd, that he was conceyuyd of the holy goost, borne
+of the vyrgyn Mary; the fourthe, that he suffred deth under Pons pylate
+and that he was crucyfyed, dede and beryed; the fyft, that he descended
+to hell, and fet[96] out the good sowlys that were in feyth and hope,
+and than the thyrd day rose from deth to lyfe; the syxt, [that] he
+assendyd into heuen to the ryght syde of God the fader, where he
+syttyth; the seuynth, that he shall come at the day of dome to judge
+both us that be quyk and them that be dede; the eyght, to beleue in the
+Holy Ghost equall God wyth the fader and the sone; the nynth, [to
+beleue] in the holy churche Catholyk and in the holy communyon of
+sayntes; the tenth, [to beleue] in the remyssion of synnys; the levynth,
+[to beleue] in the resurreccyon generall of the body and soule; the
+twelfth [to beleue] in eurlastynge lyfe that God shall rewarde them that
+be good. And [he] sayd to his paryshons further, that these artycles ye
+be bounde to beleue: for they be trewe of auctoryte. And yf you beleue
+not me, than for a more surete and suffycyent auctoryte go your way to
+Couentre, and there ye shall se them all playe in Corpus Cristi playe.
+
+By redynge of this tale, they that understand no Laten may lerne to
+knovve the xii articles of the fayth.
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[92] I have supplied these four words from conjecture. They are not in
+the original nor in Singer's reprint.
+
+[93] The double negative is very common in old English books.
+
+[94] Orig. reads _wold_.
+
+[95] Essence?
+
+[96] Fetched.
+
+
+
+
+¶ _Of the frere that prechyd the x commaundementis._ lv.
+
+
+¶ A lymytour of the Gray Freres in London prechyd[97] in a certaine
+vyllage in the contrey in the tyme of his lymytacyon, and had prechyd a
+sermon which he had lernyd by hart, that of the declaring of the x.
+commaundementis. The fyrst, to beleue in one God and to honoure him
+aboue all thynges. The seconde, to swere not in vayn by hym nor none of
+his creatures. The thyrde, to absteyne from wordely operacyon on the
+holy day, thou and all thy seruauntys of whome thou hast cherg. The
+fourthe, to honour thy parentys and to help them in theyr necessyte. The
+fyft, to sle no man in dede nor wyll, nor for no hatred hurte his bodye
+nor good name. The syxte, to do no fornycacyon actuall nor by no
+vnlefull[98] thought to desyre no fleshly delectacyon. The seuenthe
+(eighth), to stele nor depryue no mannes goodes by thefte. _The ninth,
+not to bear false witness against thy neighbour. The tenth, not_[99] to
+couete nor desyre no mannes goodes vnlefullye. Thou shalt not desyre
+thy neyghbours wyfe for thyne owne apetyte vnlaufully. And because this
+frere had preched this sermonde so often, one that had herde it before
+tolde the freres seruaunte, that his maister was called frere John x.
+Commaundementes; wherfore this seruaunte shewed the frere his mayster
+therof, and aduysed him to preche some sermonde of some other matter:
+for it greued him to here his maister so deryded and to be called frere
+John x. Commaundementes. For euery man knoweth [quod he] what ye wyll
+say, as sone as euer ye begyn, because ye haue prechyd it so ofte. Why
+than, quod the frere, I am sure thou knowest well whiche be the x
+commaundementes that hast herde them so ofte declared. Ye, syr, quod the
+seruaunte, that I do. Than, quod the frere, I pray the reherse them vnto
+me nowe. Mary, quod the seruaunte, they be these. Pride, couetise,[100]
+slouthe, enuy, wrathe, glotony and lechery.
+
+By redyng thys tale ye may lerne to knowe the x commaundementes and the
+vii dedely synnes.[101]
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[97] Orig. reads _whych perchyd_, which the context will scarcely allow.
+
+[98] Unlawful.
+
+[99] The words in italics are supplied by me from conjecture. They are
+not in orig. or in Singer's reprint; but it is evident what the context
+requires.
+
+[100] Covetousness. Orig. reads _covetous_.
+
+[101] Whitford, in his _Werke for Householders_, 1533, says:--"yet must
+you have a lesson to teche your folkes to beware of the vii pryncipall
+synnes, whiche ben communely called the seven dedely synnes, but in dede
+they doue call them wronge: for they be not alway dedely synnes.
+Therfore they sholde be called capytall or pryncipall synnes, and not
+dedely synnes. These ben theyr names by ordere after our dyvysion:
+Pryde, Envy, Wrath, Covetyse, Glotony, Slouth, and Lechery."
+
+
+
+
+¶ _Of the wyfe that bad her husbande ete the candell fyrste._ lvi.
+
+
+¶ The husbande sayde to his wyfe thus wyse: by this candell, I dremed
+thys nyght that I was cockecolde. To whom she answered and sayd:
+husbande, by this brede, ye are none. Than sayd he: wyfe, eate the
+brede. She answered and sayd to her husbande: than eate you the candell:
+for you sware fyrste.
+
+By this a man may se, that a womans answer is _neuer to seke_.
+
+
+
+
+¶ _Of the man of lawes sonnes answer._ lvii.
+
+
+¶ A woman demaunded a questyon of a little chylde, sonne unto a man of
+lawe, of what crafte his father was; whiche chylde sayde, his father was
+a craftye man of lawe.
+
+By this tale a man may perceyue, that somtyme peraduenture yonge
+Innocentes speke truely vnaduysed.
+
+
+
+
+¶ _Of the frere in the pulpet that bad the woman leue her babelynge._
+lviii.
+
+
+¶ In a certayne parrysshe churche in London, after the olde laudable and
+accustomed maner, there was a frere Mynor, all thoughe he were nat the
+best clerke nor coulde nat make the best sermondes, yet by the lycence
+of the curate he there prechyd to the Parysshons. Among the whyche
+audyence there was a wyfe at that tyme lytell disposed to contemplacyon,
+[who] talked wyth a gossype of hers of other femenyne tales so loude
+that the frere harde and somwhat was perturbed therwith. To whome
+therfore openly the frere spake and sayd: thou woman there in the tawny
+gowne, holde thy peace and leaue thy babelynge; thou troublest the worde
+of God. This woman therwith sodenly abasshed, because the frere spake to
+her so openly, that all the people her behelde, answered shortly and
+said: I beshrowe his harte that babeleth more of us two. At the which
+seyng the people dyd laughe, because they felte but lytell frute in hys
+sermonde.
+
+By this tale a man may lerne to beware howe he openly rebuketh any
+other, and in what audyence, lest it come to his owne reprofe.
+
+
+
+
+¶ _Of the Welchman that cast the Scotte into the see._ lix.
+
+
+  _5 first lines wanting._
+
+  they toke many great interpryses and many shyppes
+  and many prisoners of other realmes that were
+  theyr enemyes.  Amonge the whiche they happened
+  on a season to take a Scottes shype; and
+  dyuers Scottes they slewe and toke prisoners,
+  amonge whome there was a Welcheman that had
+  one of the Scottes prysoners, and bad him that he
+  shulde do of his harneys, whiche to do the Scotte
+  was very lothe; howe be it for feare at the laste he
+  pulled it of with an euyll wyll, and sayd to the
+  Welcheman: and if thou wylte nedes haue my
+  harneys, take it there, and cast it ouer the borde
+  into the see. The Welcheman, seynge that, sayd:
+  by Cottes blud and her nayle,[102] I shall make her
+  fette[103] it agayne; and toke him by the legges, and
+  caste hym after ouer the borde into the see.
+
+  By this tale a man may lerne, that he that is
+  subiecte to another, ought to forsake his owne
+  wyll and folowe his wyll and comaundement that
+  so hathe subieccyon ouer him, leste it turne to his
+  great hurte and damage.
+
+  FOOTNOTES:
+
+  [102] i.e. By God's blood and His nail.
+
+  [103] Fetch.
+
+
+
+
+  ¶ _Of the man that had the dome wyfe._ lx.
+
+
+  ¶ There was a man that maryed a woman whiche
+  had great ryches and beautie; howe be it she had
+  suche an impedyment of nature, that she was
+  domme and coulde nat speke. Whiche thinge
+  made him to be ryght pensyfe and sadde; wherfore,
+  vpon a day as he walked alone ryght heuy in
+  harte, thynkynge vpon his wyfe, there came one to
+  him and asked hym, what was the cause of his
+  heuynesse; whiche answered that it was onely
+  because his wife was borne domme. To whome
+  this other sayde: I shall shewe the sone a remedye
+  and a medecyne therfore, that is thus: go take an
+  aspen lefe and laye it vnder her tonge this nyght,
+  she beynge a slepe; and I warante the that she
+  shall speke on the morowe. Whiche man, beynge
+  glad of this medycyne, prepared therfore and
+  gathered aspyn leaues; wherfore he layde thre of
+  them vnder her tonge, when she was a slepe. And
+  on the morowe whan he hymselfe awaked, he, desyrous
+  to knowe howe his medecyne wrought,
+  beynge in bedde with her, he demaunded of her
+  howe she dyd; and sodenly she answered and
+  sayd: I beshrowe your harte for wakenynge me so
+  erly; and so by the virtue of that medycyne she
+  was restored to her speche. But in conclusyon
+  her speche so encreased day by day, and she was
+  so curste of condycyon, that euery daye she brauled
+  and chydde with her husbande so moche, that at
+  the laste he was more vexed, and hadde moche
+  more trouble and disease with her shrewde wordes,
+  than he hadde before whan she was dome. Wherfore,
+  as he walked another tyme abrode, he happened
+  to meate agayne with the same persone that
+  taughte _hym howe to make his wyfe speke_[104]
+
+  _2 or 3 lines wanting._
+
+and more wery of her nowe than I was before, whan she was domme;
+wherfore I praye you teche me a medycyne to modefye her, that she speke
+nat so moche. This other answered and sayd thus: syr, I am a deuyll of
+hell; but I am one of them that haue leste power there. All be it yet I
+haue power to make a woman to speke, but and if a woman begyn ones to
+speke, I, nor all the deuyls in hell that haue the more power, be nat
+able to make a woman to be styll, nor to cause her to leaue her
+spekynge.
+
+By thys tale ye may note, that a man ofte tymes desyreth and coueteth
+moche that thynge, that ofte turneth to his displeasure.
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[104] These words in Italics I have supplied from conjecture. They are
+not in orig. or in Singer.
+
+
+
+
+¶ _Of the Proctour of Arches that had the lytel wyfe._ lxi.
+
+
+¶ One askyd a Proctour of the Arches, lately before maryed, why he chose
+so lytel a wyfe; whiche answered: because he had a texte sayenge thus:
+ex duobus malis minus[105] est eliendum, that is to saye in englyshe,
+amonge euyll thinges the leste is to be chosen.
+
+
+
+
+¶ _Of ii nonnes that were shryuen of one preste._ lxii.
+
+
+¶ In the tyme of Lente there came two nonnes to saynte Johnns in London
+bycause of the great pardon, there to be confessed. Of the whyche
+nonnes, the one was a young lady and the other was olde. This yonge lady
+chose fyrst her confessour, and confessed her that she hadde synned in
+lechery. The confessour asked, with whome it was; she sayd it was with a
+lustye gallante. He demaunded where it was; she sayd: in a plesaunte
+grene herber. He asked further: whan it was. She sayd: in the mery
+moneth of Maye. Than sayd the confessour this wyse: a fayre yonge lady,
+with a lusty galante, in a plesaunte herber, and in the mery moneth of
+Maye! Ye dyd but your kynde! Nowe, by my truthe, God forgyue you, and I
+do; and so she departed. And incontynent the olde nonne mette with her,
+askynge her howe she lyked her confessour; whiche sayd he was the best
+gostly father that euer she hadde and the most easyest in
+penaunce-geuyng. For comfort wherof this other nonne went to the same
+confessour and shroue her lykewyse, that she had synned in lechery. And
+he demaunded with whome. Whiche sayde: with an old frere. He asked
+where. She said: in her olde cloyster. He asked: what season. She sayde:
+in Lente. Than the confessour sayd: an old ----, to lye with an old
+frere, in her olde cloyster, and in the holy tyme of Lente! by cockes
+body,[106] if God forgyue the, yet wyll I neuer forgyue the. Which
+wordes caused her to departe all sadde and sore abasshed.
+
+By this tale men may lerne, that a vicyous acte is more abhomynable in
+one person than in another, in one season than in another, and in one
+place than in an other.[107]
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[105] orig. reads: _ex duobus malis minus malis_.
+
+[106] By God's body.
+
+[107] If meant as quiet irony, this moral is admirable.
+
+
+
+
+¶ _Of the esquyer that sholde have ben made knyght._ lxiii.
+
+
+  _4 lines of the original are wanting._
+
+and the trumpettes began to blowe, a yonge squyer of Englande rydynge on
+a lusty courser of whych horse the noyse of the trumpettes so prycked
+the corage, that the squyer could nat him retayne; so that agaynste his
+wyll he ranne vpon hys enemyes. Whyche squyer, seynge none other remedy,
+sette his spere in the rest and rode throughe the thyckest of hys
+enemyes, and in conclusyon had good fortune, and saued hym selfe alyue
+without hurte: and the Englysshe hooste folowed and had the victorye.
+And after, whan the felde was wonne, this kynge Edwarde called the
+squyre and badde hym knele down, _and he_ wolde make hym knyght, because
+he valyauntely was the man that day, which with the moost couragyous
+stomake aduentured fyrste vpon theyr enemyes. To whome the squyer thus
+answered: if it lyke your grace to make any one knyghte therfore, I
+beseche you to make my horse knyght, and nat _me: for certes_ it was his
+dede, and nat myne, and full sore agaynst my wyll. Whiche answere the
+kynge herynge refrayned to promote hym to the order of knyghthode,
+reputynge hym in maner but for a cowarde; and euer after fauored hym the
+lesse therfore.
+
+By this tale a man may lerne, howe it is wysedome _when he is_ in good
+credence to kepe hym[self] therein, and in no wyse to dysable[108] hym
+selfe to moche.
+
+
+
+
+¶ _Of him that wolde gette the maystrye of his wyfe._ lxiv.
+
+
+¶ A yonge man, late maryed to a wyfe, thought it was good polecye to
+gette the maystrye of her in the begynnynge, came to her, the potte
+sethynge ouer the fyre, all thoughe the meate therein were nat ynoughe
+soden [and] commaunded[109] her to take the potte fro the fyre; whiche
+answered and said that the meate was nat redy to eate. And he said
+agayne: I wyll haue it taken of for my pleasure. This good woman, lothe
+yet to offende hym, sette the potte besyde the fyre, as he badde. And
+anone after he commaunded her to sette the potte behynde the dore, and
+she said agayne: ye be nat wyse therin. But he precysely said, it shuld
+be so, as he bad. And she gentylly againe dyd his commaundement. This
+man, yet nat satisfied, comaunded her to set the pot a-hygh vpon the
+henne roste. What! quod the wyfe, I trowe ye be madde. And he fyerslye
+than comaunded her to sette it there, or els he sayd she shulde repente
+it. She, somwhat afrayde to moue his pacyence, toke a ladder, and sette
+it to the rost[110] and wente her selfe vp the ladder, and toke the
+potte in her hande, prayeng her husbande than to holde the ladder faste
+for [fear of] slydynge; whiche so dyd. And whan the husbande loked up,
+and sawe the potte stande there on hyght, he sayd thus: Lo! nowe
+standeth the potte there, as I wolde haue it. This wyfe hearynge
+
+  _4 lines wanting._
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[108] disparage.
+
+[109] orig. is here apparently very corrupt; it reads: "all thoughe the
+meat therein were nat ynoughe, sodenlye commaunded," &c.
+
+
+
+
+¶ _Of the penytent that sayd the shepe of God have mercy upon me._ lxv.
+
+
+¶ A certayne confessour, in the holy tyme of Lente, enioyned his
+penytente to saye dayly for his penaunce this prayer: Agnus Dei miserere
+mei, whiche was as moche to saye in englysshe as the Lambe of God haue
+mercye vpon me. This penytente acceptynge his penaunce departed, and
+that tyme twelfe monthe after came agayne to be confessed of the same
+confessoure, whiche demaunded of him whether he had fulfylled his
+penaunce that he hym enioyned the laste yeare. _Than_ he sayde thus: ye,
+syr, I thanke God I haue fulfylled it. For I haue sayd thus to daye in
+the mornynge and so dayly: the shepe of God haue mercy vpon me. To whome
+the confessour said: nay, I bad the say: Agnus Dei miserere mei, that
+is, the Lamb of God haue mercy vpon me. Ye, syr, quod the _penytente_,
+ye say truthe; that was the laste yeare. But now it is a twelfemonthe
+_since_, and it is a shepe by this tyme. Therfore I muste nedes say
+nowe: the shepe of God haue mercy vpon me.
+
+By this tale ye may perceyue, that if holy scripture be expowned to the
+lay people onely in the lytterall sence, peraduenture it shall do lytell
+good.
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[110] planted it against the roost.
+
+
+
+
+¶ _Of the husbande that sayd he was John Daw._ lxvi.
+
+
+¶ It _happened_ dyuers to be in communicacyon, amonge whome there was a
+curate or a parysshe preest and one John Dawe, a parisshon of his;
+whiche ii had communicacyon more busy than other in thys maner. This
+preest thought that one myght nat by felynge knowe one from a nother in
+the darke. John Dawe his parysshone, [being] of the contrary opinyon,
+layde with his curate for a wager xl pence; whervpon the parysshe
+preest, wyllynge to proue his wager, wente to this John Dawes house in
+the euenynge, and sodenly gate hym to bedde with his wyfe; where, whan
+he began to be somwhat busye, she felynge his crowne sayde shortely with
+a loude voyce: by God! thou art nat John Dawe. That hearynge, her
+husbande answered: thou sayest trouthe, wyfe, I John Dawe am here.[111]
+Therfore, mayster persone, gyue me the money: for ye haue loste your xl.
+pence.
+
+By this tale ye may lerne to perceyue, that it is no wysedome for a man
+to be couetous of wynnynge of any wager to put in ieopardye a thynge,
+that maye turne him to greatter displeasure.
+
+
+
+
+¶ _Of the scoler of Oxforde that proued by souestry ii chykens iii._
+lxvii.
+
+
+¶ A ryche Frankelyn in the contrey hauynge by his wyfe but one chylde
+and no mo, for the great affeccyon that he had to his sayd chylde founde
+hym at Oxforde to schole by the space of ii or iii yere. Thys yonge
+scoler, in a vacacyon[112] tyme, for his disporte came home to his
+father. It fortuned afterwarde on a nyght, the father, the mother and
+the sayd yonge scoler
+
+  _5 lines wanting._
+
+_I_ haue studyed souestry, and by that scyence I can proue, that these
+ii chekyns in the dysshe be thre chekyns.[113] Mary, sayde the father,
+that wolde I fayne se. The scoller toke one of the chekyns in his hande
+and said: lo! here is one chekyn, and incontynente he toke bothe the
+chekyns in his hande iointely and sayd: here is ii chekyns; and one and
+ii maketh iii: ergo here is iii chekyns. Than the father toke one of the
+chekyns to him selfe, and gaue another to his wyfe, and sayd thus: lo! I
+wyll haue one of the chekyns to my parte, and thy mother shal haue a
+nother, and because of thy good argumente thou shalte haue the thyrde to
+thy supper: for thou gettyst no more meate here at this tyme; whyche
+promyse the father kepte, and so the scoller wente without his supper.
+
+By this tale men may se, that it is great foly to put one to scole to
+lerne any subtyll scyence, whiche hathe no naturall wytte.
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[111] orig. reads _I am here John Dawe_.
+
+[112] orig. reads _vocacyon_.
+
+[113] The same story is to be found in _Scogin's Jests_, with a trifling
+variation. _Scogin's Jests_ were published before 1565. Several of the
+anecdotes, here narrated, were re-produced in that and other
+collections. See also _Joake upon Joake_, 1721, where the present story
+is told of King Charles the Second, Nell Gwynne, and the Duchess of
+Portsmouth. In this version the Duchess is the sufferer.
+
+
+
+
+¶ _Of the frere that stale the podynge._[114] lxviii.
+
+
+¶ A frere of London there was that on a Sonday in the mornynge
+yerly[115] in the somer season came fro London to Barnette to make a
+colacyon,[116] and was there an houre before hye masse began: and
+bycause he wolde come to the churche honestly, he wente fyrst to an ale
+house there to wype his shoes and to make him selfe clenly. In the
+whyche house there were podynges to sell, and dyuers folkes there
+brekynge theyr faste, and eatynge podynges. But the frere brake his
+faste in a secrete place in the same house. This frere sone after came
+to the church, and by lycence of the curate entered into the pulpet to
+make a colacyon or sermon. And in his sermon there he rebuked sore the
+maner of them that met to breke theyr faste on the Sonday before hye
+masse, and said it was called the deuyls blacke brekefast. And with that
+worde spekynge, as he dyd caste his armes out to make his countenaunce,
+there fell a podyng out of his sleue, whiche he hym selfe had stolen a
+lytell before in the same alehouse; and whan the people saw that, and
+specially they that brake theyr faste there the same mornynge, and
+knewe well that the wyfe had complayned howe she had one of her podynges
+stolen, they laughed so moche at the frere, that he incontynente wente
+downe out of the pulpet for shame.
+
+By this tale a man may se that, whan a precher dothe rebuke any synne or
+vyce wherin he is knowen openly to be gyltie him selfe, suche prechynge
+shall lytell edefye to the people.
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[114] This story, as already mentioned in the Introduction, is taken
+from the tale of the "Vickar of Bergamo" in _Tarlton's Newes out of
+Purgatorie_ (1590). See Halliwell's ed. of _Tarlton's Jests, &c._ p. 82.
+(Shakesp. Sec.).
+
+[115] Early.
+
+[116] Homily.
+
+
+
+
+¶ _Of the frankelyns sonne that cam to take ordres._ lxix.
+
+
+¶ A certayne scoler there was, intendynge to be made a preest, whyche
+hadde nother great wytte nor lernynge, came to the bysshoppe to take
+orders, whose folysshenes the bysshoppe perceyuynge, because he was a
+ryche mannes sonne wolde nat very strongly oppose him, but asked him
+thys _questyon: Noye had thre sonnes, Sem, Came, and Japhete; nowe tell
+me, who was Japhetes father? But the scoler was all abashed, and knew
+nat what to answere: wherefore the bysshoppe sayde: get the home and
+consider awhile_, and come agayne and soyle[117] me this questyon, and
+thou shalt haue orders. This scoler so departed and came home to his
+father, and shewed hym the cause of the hynderaunce of his orders. Hys
+father, beyng angry at his folisshenes, thought to teche hym the
+solucyon of this questyon by a familier example, and called his spanyels
+before hym, and sayd thus: Thou knowest well, Colle my dogge hathe these
+iii. whelpes, Ryg, Trygge and Tryboll. Muste nat all my dogges nedes be
+syre to Tryboll? Than quod the scoler: by God! father, ye [have] sayd
+trouthe. Let me alone nowe; ye shall se me do well ynoughe the nexte
+tyme. Wherfore on the morowe he wente to the bysshoppe agayne, and sayd
+he coulde soyle his questyon. Than sayd the bysshoppe: Noye had thre
+sonnes, Sem, Came,[118] and Japhete. Now, tell me who was Japhetes
+father. Mary, syr, quod the scoler, if it plese youre lordeshyppe, Colle
+my fathers dogge.
+
+By this tale a man may lerne, that it is but loste tyme to teche a fole
+any thynge, whiche hathe no wytte to perceyue it.
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[117] Satisfy, a very rare word.
+
+
+
+
+¶ _Of the husbandman that lodgyd the frere in his own bedde._ lxx.
+
+
+¶ It fortuned so that a frere, late in the euenynge, desyred lodgynge of
+a poore man of the countrey, the whiche for lacke of other lodgyng,
+glad to harborowe the frere, lodged him in his owne bedde. And after, he
+and his wyfe, the frere beynge a slepe, came and laye in the same bedde;
+and in the mornynge after the poore man rose and went to the market,
+leauyng the frere in the bedde with his wyfe. And as he wente he smiled
+and laughte to hym selfe; wherfore hys neyghbours demaunded of hym, why
+he so smyled. He answered and sayd: I laughe to thynke, howe shamefaste
+the frere shal be whanne he waketh, whome I left in bedde with my wyfe.
+
+By this tale a man may lerne, that he that ouershoteth hym selfe doth
+folysshely: yet he is more fole to shewe it openly.
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[118] Ham.
+
+
+
+
+¶ _Of the preste that wolde say two gospels for a grote._ lxxi.
+
+
+¶ Somtyme there dwelled a preest in Stretforde vpon Auyne of small
+lernyng, which vndeuoutly sange masse and oftentymes twyse on one day.
+So it happened on a tyme, after his seconde masse was done in shorte
+space, nat a myle from Stretforde there mette with hym dyuers marchaunte
+men whiche wolde haue harde masse, and desyred hym to synge masse and he
+shuld haue a grote; whiche answered them and sayd: syrs, I wyll say
+masse no more this day; but I wyll say you two gospels for one grote,
+and that is dogge chepe [for] a masse in any place in Englande.
+
+By this tale a man may se, that they that be rude and unlerned regarde
+but lytell the meryte and goodness of holy prayer.
+
+
+
+
+¶ _Of the coutear that dyd cast the frere ouer the bote._ lxxii.
+
+
+_Too much damaged to decypher._
+
+
+
+
+¶ _Of the frere that prechyd what mennys sowles were._ lxxiii.
+
+
+¶ A precher in pulpet whiche prechyd the worde _of God, amonge other_
+matters spake of mennes soules and sayd _that the soule was so_ subtyll
+that a thousande soules myght daunce _on the space of the nayle of a_
+mannes fynger. Amonge which audyence there was a mery conceyted _fellow_
+of small deuocyon that answered and sayde thus: mayster doctour, if a
+thousande soules may daunce on a mannes nayle, I praye you than, where
+shall the pyper stande?
+
+By this tale a man may se, that it is but foly to shewe or to teche
+vertue to them, that haue no pleasure nor mynde therto.
+
+
+
+
+¶ _Of the husbande that cryed ble under the bed._ lxxiv.
+
+
+¶ In London there was a certayne artifycer hauyng a fayre wife, to whom
+a lusty galante made pursute to accomplisshe his pleasure. This woman,
+denyeng, shewed the matter vnto her husband whiche, moued therewith, bad
+his wyfe to appoynte him a tyme to come secretly to lye with her all
+nyght, and with great crakes and othes sware that, agaynst his comyng,
+he wolde be redy harneysed and wolde put him in ieopardye of his lyfe,
+except he wolde make hym a great amendes. Thys nyght was then appoynted;
+at whiche tyme thys courtyer came at his houre, and entred in at the
+chamber, and set his two-hande sworde downe, and sayde these wordes:
+stande thou there, thou sworde, the dethe of thre men! This husbande
+lyenge vnder the bedde in harneys, herynge these wordes, lay still for
+fere. The courtyer anone gat him to bed with the wyfe about his
+prepensed busynesse; and within an houre or two the husbande, beynge
+wery of lyenge, beganne to remoue hym. The courtyer, that hearynge,
+asked the wyfe what thinge that was that remoued vnder the bedde;
+whiche, excusyng the matter, sayd it was a lytell shepe, that was wonte
+dayly to go about the house; and the husbande, that herynge, anone
+cryed _ble_, as it had ben a shepe. And so in conclusyon, whan the
+courtyer sawe his tyme, he rose and kissed the wyfe, and took his leaue
+and departed. And as sone as he was gone the husbande arose; and, whan
+the wyfe loked on him, somwhat abasshed began to make a sad countenance;
+and [she] sayde; alas! syr, why did you * *
+
+_The remainder of this tale is wanting._
+
+_By this tale ye may se_, that he is not wyse that will put his
+confydence _in bosters_ and great crakers, whiche ofte tymes wyll do but
+ly_tell, when it comes to_ the poynte.
+
+
+
+
+¶ _Of the shomaker that asked the colyer what tydynges in hell._[119] lxxv.
+
+
+¶ A souter[120] syttynge in his shope, that sawe a colyer come by,
+_deryded hym_, because he was so blacke, and asked hym, what newes from
+hell and howe the deuyll fared. To whome the colyer answeryd hym: he
+was well, whan I sawe hym laste; for he was rydynge _and waited_ but for
+a souter to plucke on his botes.
+
+By this ye may se that he that vseth to deryde other folkes is somtyme
+him selfe more deryded and mocked.
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[119] The blackness of colliers was employed of course from a very early
+period as a ground for satirical insinuations as to their connection
+with the Evil One. In 1568, Ulpian Fulwell, a distinguished writer of
+the Elizabethan era, published _A Pleasant Interlude intituled Like will
+to Like quoth the Devil to the Collier_; and in the old play of _Grim
+the Collier of Croydon_, the epithet grim was intended to convey a
+similar idea. In _Robin Goodfellow His Mad Pranks and Merry Jests_,
+1628, however, Grim is the name of a Fairy.
+
+[120] Shoemaker or Cobbler. Lat. _Sutor_.
+
+
+
+
+¶ _Of Seynt Peter that cryed cause bobe._ lxxvi.
+
+
+¶ I fynde wrytten amonge olde gestes,[121] howe God mayde Saynt Peter
+porter of heuen, and that God of hys goodnes, sone after his passyon,
+suffered many men to come to the kyngdome of Heuen with small
+deseruynge; at whiche tyme there was in heuen a great company of
+Welchemen, whyche with their crakynge and babelynge troubled all the
+other. Wherfore God sayde to saynte Peter, that he was wery of them, and
+that he wolde fayne haue them out of heuen. To whome saynte Peter sayd:
+Good Lorde, I warrente you, that shal be done. Wherfore saynt Peter
+wente out of heuen gates and cryed wyth a loud voyce _Cause bobe_, that
+is as moche to saye as rosted chese, whiche thynge the Welchemen
+herynge, ranne out of Heuen a great pace. And when Saynt Peter sawe them
+all out, he sodenly wente into Heuen, and locked the dore, and so
+sparred all the Welchemen out.
+
+By this ye may se, that it is no wysdome for a man to loue or to set his
+mynde to moche vpon any delycate or worldely pleasure, wherby he shall
+lose the celestyall and eternall ioye.
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[121] It is not very usual to find this word in its jocular sense
+spelled in this manner. It continued to be used in its original
+signification (_action_ or _exploit_) even to the Restoration, perhaps
+later. The most recent example of this employment with which the Editor
+has happened to meet is at p. 29 of Mauley's _Iter Carolinum_, 1660,
+where the writer speaks of "His Majesties Gests from Newcastle to
+Holdenby in Feb. 1646." These _gests_ were certainly no _jests_. Since
+the former part of this note was written a more recent instance of the
+use of _gest_ in the sense in question has occurred to the Editor in the
+_Life and Gests of S. Thomas Cantilupe, Gant_, 1674. 8vo.
+
+
+
+
+¶ _Of hym that aduenturyd body and soule for hys prynce._ lxxvii.
+
+
+¶ Two knyghtes there were which wente to a standynge fylde with theyr
+prynce; but one of them was confessed before he wente, but the other
+wente into the felde without shryfte or repentaunce. Afterwarde thys
+prynce wanne the fylde, and had the victory that day; wherfore he that
+was confessed came to the prynce, and asked an offyce and sayd that he
+had deserved it, for he had done good seruice and aduentured that day as
+farre as any man in the felde. To whome the other that was unconfessed
+answered and sayd: nay, by the masse, I am more worthy to haue a rewarde
+than he: for he aduentured but his body for your sake, for he durst nat
+go to the felde tyll he was confessed; _but I that was unconfessed
+adventured my soule_.[122] * * * *
+
+  _The remainder of this tale is wanting._
+
+
+
+¶ _Of the parson that stale the mylners elys._ lxxviii.
+
+
+_Too imperfect to decypher._
+
+
+
+
+¶ _Of the Welchman that saw one xls. better than God._ lxxix.
+
+
+¶ A Welchman on a tyme went to churche to _be shryued, and chanced_ to
+come in euyn at the sacryng-time.[123] When he had _confessed him_ he
+went home, wher one of his felowes askyd hym wh_ether he had seen God_
+Almighty to day; which answerd and sayd: nay, but I saw _one forty
+shillings better_.
+
+
+
+
+¶ _Of the frere that said dyryge for the hoggys soule._ lxxx.
+
+
+¶ Upon a tyme certayn women in the countrye were _appoynted[124] to
+dery_de and mokke a frere limitour, that vsed moche to _trouble them_;
+whereupon one of them, a lytyll before the frere came, _tooke a hogge_,
+and for dysport leyd it under the borde after the manner of a corse;
+_and told the_ frere it was her good man and dysyred hime to say dirige
+for his soule. _Where_fore the frere and his felaw began Placebo and
+Dirige and so fo_rth, thorough_ the seruyse full devowtly, which the
+wyues so heryng could not re_fraine_ them selfe from lawghynge and went
+in to a lytyll parler to lawgh _more_ at theyr pleasure. These freris
+somwhat suspected the cause, and quikly, _or_ that the women were ware,
+lokyd under the borde, and spying[125] that it was an hog, sodenly toke
+it bytwene them and bare it homeward as fast as they might. The women,
+seyng that, ran after the frere and cryed: com agayn, maester frere,
+come agayne, and let it allone. Nay by my faith, quod the frere, he is a
+broder of ours, and therefore he must nedys be buryed in oure cloyster.
+And so the frerys gate the hog.
+
+By this ye may se, that they that use to deride and mok other, somtyme
+it tornyth to theyre owne losse and damage.
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[122] The words in Italics are supplied from conjecture. They are not in
+orig. or in Singer.
+
+[123] Sacrament.
+
+[124] Prepared, _i.e._ had made themselves ready.
+
+[125] Orig. reads _spyed_.
+
+
+
+
+¶ _Of the parson that sayde masse of requiem for Crystes soul._ lxxxi.
+
+
+¶ A certayn prest there was that dwellyd in the cuntry which was not
+very well lernyd. Therfore on Ester-Euyn he sent his boy to the prest of
+the next town, that was ii. myle from thens, to know what masse he
+sholde synge on the morowe. This boy came to the sayd prest, and dyd his
+maysters errande to hym. Then quod the prest: tel thy mayster that he
+must * *
+
+  _Several lines wanting._
+
+masse he shuld synge on the morowe. By my trothe, _quod the boy_, I have
+forgotten it; but he bad me tell you it began * * * * _Then quod the
+prest_: I trowe thou sayest trewth: for now I remem_ber me it is the
+masse of requiem_: for God Almyghty dyed upon Good Fry_day_, and it _is
+meet we shulde say masse_ for hys soule.
+
+_By thys tale ye may se, that_ when one fole sendyth another fole on hys
+er_rand, hys_ besynes folyshly sped.
+
+
+
+
+¶ _Of the herdeman that sayde: ryde apace, ye shall haue rayn._ lxxxii.
+
+
+¶ _A certayne skoler of Oxenford_ which had studied the iudicials of
+astronomy, _upon a tyme as he_ was rydyng by the way, came[126] by a
+herdman; and _he asked thys herdm_an how far it was to the next town.
+Syr, quod the herd_man, it is rather_ past a mile and an half; but, sir,
+quod he, ye nede to ryde _apace: for ye shal h_aue a shower of rayn, or
+ye com thider. What, quod the skoler, _maketh ye say so_? There ys no
+token of rayn: for the cloudes be both fayr and clere. _By my troth_,
+quod the herdman, but ye shall fynd it so. The skoler then rode forth,
+_and it chanced_ or he had ryden half a myle forther, there fell a good
+showre of rayn _and[127] thys_ skoler was well washyd and wett to the
+skyn. The skoler then tornyd _hym backe, and_ rode to the herdman, and
+desyryd hym to tech him that connyng. _Nay_, quod the herdman, I wyll
+not tech you my connynge for nought. Then _the skoler_ profferyde hym xl
+shyllyngs to teche hym that connynge. The herd_man, after_ he had
+reseyuyd hys money, sayd thus: syr, se you not yonder _blacke_ ewe with
+the whyte face? Yes, quod the skoler. Suerly, quod the herdman, when she
+daunsith and holdeth up her tayle, ye shall haue a showre of rayn within
+half an howre after.[128]
+
+By this ye may se, that the connyng of herdmen and shepardes, as
+touchinge alteracyons of weders, is more sure than the iudicials of
+astronomy.
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[126] Orig. reads _which came_.
+
+[127] Singer's conjectural reading is _that_; but _and_ seems to me to
+be the word required.
+
+
+
+
+¶ _Of hym that sayde: I shall haue nener a peny._ lxxxiii.
+
+
+¶ In a certayne towne, there was a rych man that lay on his deth bed at
+poynte of deth, whyche chargyd hys executours to dele[129] for hys soule
+a certayne some of money in pence, and on thys condicion chargyd them as
+they would answere afore God, that euery pore man that cam to them and
+told a trew tale shulde haue a peny, and they that said a fals thing
+shuld haue none; and in the dole-tyme there cam one whych sayd that God
+was a good man. Quod the executours: thou shalt haue a peny, for thou
+saist trouth. Anone came a nother and said, the deuil was a good man.
+Quod the executours: there thou lyest; therefore thou shalt haue nere a
+peny. At laste came on[e] to the executors and said thus: ye shall gyue
+me nere a peny: which wordes made the executors amasyd, and toke
+aduysment whyther they shuld * * * *
+
+_The end of this tale is wanting._
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[128] See _Scoggin's Jests_(reprint 1795), p. 47.
+
+[129] Count out.
+
+
+
+
+¶ _Of the husbande that sayde hys wyfe and he agreed well._ lxxxiv.
+
+
+  _Too imperfect to decypher._
+
+
+
+
+¶ _Of the prest that sayde Comede episcope._ lxxxv.
+
+
+¶ In the tyme of visitacyon a bysshoppe, whi_che was maryed_[130] and
+had gote many chyldren, prepared to questyon a preest what rule he
+kepte, whiche preest had a le_man_ * * * * * and by her had two or thre
+small chyldren. In shorte _tyme before the Bys_shoppes commynge, he
+prepared a rowme to hyde his _leman and children_ ouer in the rofe of
+his hall; and whan the bysshoppe was _come and discoursing_ with him in
+the same hall, hauynge x of his owne chyldren about him, _the preest_,
+who coude speke lytell lytyn or none, bad the bysshoppe in latyn * * * *
+Comede,[131] episcope. This woman in rofe of the house, hearing _the
+preest say_ so, had went[132] he had called her, byddynge her: come,
+Ede; and _answered him_ and sayde: shall I brynge my chyldren with me
+also? The bysshoppe, _hearing_ this, sayde in sporte: vxor tua sicut
+vitis abundans in lateribus domus tuæ. The preest than, halfe amasyd,
+answerd and sayd: filii tui sicut nouellæ oliuarum in circuitu mensæ
+tuæ.
+
+By this ye may se, that they, that have but small lernyng, som tyme
+speke truely unaduysed.
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[130] These two words are not in orig. or in Singer; but they seem to be
+what the context requires.
+
+
+
+
+¶ _Of the woman that stale the pot._ lxxxvi.
+
+
+¶ On Ashe Wednesday in the mornynge, was a curate of a churche whyche
+had made good chere the nyght afore and sytten up late, and came to the
+churche to here confessyon, to whome there came a woman; and among other
+thynges she confessed her that she had stolen a potte. But than, because
+of greate watche that this preest had, he there sodenly felle aslepe;
+and whan this woman sawe him nat wyllynge to here her, she rose and went
+her waye. And anone an other woman kneled down to the same preest and
+began to say: Benedicite; wherwith this preest sodenly awaked, and
+wenynge she had ben the other woman,[133] sayd all angerly, what! arte
+thou nowe at Benedicite agayne? tell me, what dyddest thou whan thou
+haddest stolyn the potte?
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[131] Orig. reads _Comode_.
+
+[132] Weened.
+
+
+
+
+¶ _Of mayster Whyttynton dreme._[134] lxxxvii.
+
+
+¶ Sone after one maister Whyttynton had bylded a colege, on a nyght as
+he slepte, he dremed that he satte in his church and many folkes there
+also; and further he dremed that he sawe Our Lady in the same church
+with a glas of goodly oyntemente in her hande goynge to one askynge him
+what he had done for her sake; which sayd that he had sayd Our Ladyes
+sauter[135] euery daye: wherfore she gaue him a lytel of the oyle. And
+anone she wente to another. * * *
+
+  _Several lines wanting._
+
+_he had buylded_ a great college, and was very gladde in hys mynde. _Whan
+that Oure Ladye cam to hym_, she asked him what he hadde suffred for her
+_sake, this_ questyon made him greatly abashed, because he had nothing
+to _answer; wherefore Our Lady_ him informed that for all the great dede
+of buyldynge _of a colege he must haue no parte of_ that goodly
+oyntemente.
+
+_By this ye may perceue_, that to suffre for Goddes sake is more
+_acceptable to God than to buyld or_ gyue great goodes.
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[133] Orig. reads _and_ after _woman_.
+
+[134] The celebrated Sir Richard Whittington. In his _If you know Not me
+you know No Body_, Part ii. 1606, Heywood introduces the following
+dialogue respecting Whittington between Dean Nowell and Old Hobson, the
+haberdasher of the Poultry:--
+
+"_Dr. Now._ This Sir Richard Whittington, three times Mayor, Son to a
+knight, and 'prentice to a mercer, Began the library of Gray-friars in
+London, And his executors after him did build Whittington College,
+thirteen almshouses for poor men, Repair'd Saint Bartholomew's, in
+Smithfield, Glared the Guildhall, and built Newgate.
+
+_Hob._ Bones a me, then, I have heard lies; For I have heard he was a
+scullion, And rais'd himself by venture of a cat.
+
+_Dr. Now._ They did the more wrong to the gentleman."
+
+[135] Psalter.
+
+
+
+
+¶ _Of the prest that killed his horse called modicus._ lxxxviii.
+
+
+¶ _A certayne Bysshoppe_ appoynted to go on visytacion to a preeste's;
+_and, bycause he_ would haue the preest do but lyttel coste vpon him, he
+told him to prepare but lytell meate saying thus: Preparas * * * * *
+_modicus_. This preest whyche understode hym nat halfe well, had _some
+desire_,[136] wherfore he thoughte to obtayne the bysshoppes fauour;
+_and therfore againste_ the bysshoppes comynge kylled his horse that
+was _called Modicus_, whereof the bysshoppe and his seruauntes ete
+parte; whiche, _whan the byss_hoppe knewe afterwarde, was greatly
+displeased.
+
+By this ye may se, that many a fole dothe moche coste in makyng _good
+chere_ at dyners, whiche bathe but lytell thanke for his laboure.
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[136] Wanting in orig. and left blank by Singer. I have supplied them
+from conjecture.
+
+
+
+
+¶ _Of the Welcheman that stale the Englysshmans cocke._ lxxxix.
+
+
+¶ A Welcheman dwellynge in Englande fortuned to stele an Englysshemans
+cocke, and set it on the fyre to sethe; wherefore thys Englysheman,
+suspecting the Welcheman, came to his house, and sawe the cocke sethyng
+on the fyre and said to the Welcheman thus: syr, this is my cocke. Mary,
+quod the Welcheman; and if it be thyne, thou shalte haue thy parte of
+it. Nay, quod the Englyssheman, that is nat ynoughe. By cottes blut and
+her nayle! quod the Welcheman, if her be nat ynoughe nowe, her will be
+ynoughe anone: for her hath a good fyre under her.
+
+
+
+
+¶ _Of hym that brought a botell to a preste._ xc.
+
+¶ Certayne vycars[137] of Poules, disposed to be mery on a Sonday at hye
+masse tyme, sente another madde felowe of theyr acquointance unto a
+folysshe dronken preest to gyue hym a bottell, whiche man met with the
+preest upon the toppe of the stayres by the chauncell dore, and spake to
+him and sayd thus: syr, my mayster hath sente you a bottell to put your
+drynke in, because he can kepe none in your braynes. This preest,
+therwith beynge very angry, all sodenly toke the bottell, and with his
+fote flange it downe into the body of the churche upon the gentylmans
+hede.[138]
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[137] Priests.
+
+
+
+
+¶ _Of the endytement of Jesu of Nazareth._ xci.
+
+
+¶ A certayne Jury in the countye of Myddelsex was enpaneled for the
+kynge to enquere of all endytements, murders, and felonyes. The persones
+of this panell were folyshe, couetous and unlerned: for who so euer
+wolde gyue them a grote, they wolde affyne and verifye his byll, whether
+it were true or fals, withoute any profe or euydence; wherefore one that
+was * * * *
+
+  _Some lines wanting._
+
+_the Jury loking_ on the grote and nothing on the byll as was their
+_costome_, which byll whan it was presented into the courte, _the
+judge_ said openly before all the people: lo! syrs, here is the
+_straungest byll euer_ presented by an enquest: for here they haue
+indyted _Jesu of Nazareth_ for stelyng of an asse. Which whan the people
+harde it, it _made them all to laughe_, and to wonder at the folysshenes
+and shamefull periury _of the Jury_.
+
+By this ye may se, it is great parell[139] to enpanell _men upon an_
+enquest, whiche be folysshe and haue but small _witte or honesty_.
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[138] Orig. reads _gentylmens_.
+
+
+
+
+¶ _Of the frere that preched agaynst them that rode on the Sonday._
+xcii.
+
+
+¶ In a certayne parryshe, a frere preched and _said moche_ againt them,
+that rode on the Sonday euer lokyng upon _one that was there_, spurred
+redy to ryde. This man, perceuyng that _the frere loked at_ hym, sodenly
+halfe in angre answered the frere thus: _I meruayle that ye say so_
+moche agaynste them that ryde on the Sonday: for Christe _rode into
+Jerusalem_ on Palme Sonday, as thou knowest well it is wrytten * * *
+_To_ whome the frere sodenly answered and sayd thus: _but knowe ye not
+also what came_ thereof? Was he nat hanged on the Fryday after! Whiche
+hearing _all them that were_ in the churche fell on laughynge.
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[139] Peril.
+
+
+
+
+¶ _Of the one broder that founde a purs._ xciii.
+
+
+¶ There was a certayne man that had two sonnes unl_yke eche other_. For
+the eldyst was lustye and quycke, and vsed moch_e betimes to_ walke into
+the fyldes. Than was the yonger slowe, and vsed _moche_ to lye in his
+bed as long as he myght. So on a day the elder, as _he was vsed_, rose
+erly and walked into the fyldes; and there by fortune he founde a purse
+of money, and brought it home to his father. His father, whan he had it,
+wente strayght to hys other sonne yet lyenge than in his bed and sayd to
+him: o thou slogarde, quod he, seyst thou nat thyne eldest brother, howe
+he by hys erly rysyng had founde a purse with money whereby we shall be
+greatly holpen all our lyfe, whyle thou sluggynge in thy bedde dost
+no[140] good but slepe? He than wyst nat what to say, but answered
+shortly and said: father, quod he, if he that hathe loste the purse and
+money had lyne in hys bedde that same tyme that he loste it, as I do
+nowe, my brother had founde no purse nor money to day.
+
+By this ye may se, that they that be accustomed in vyce and synne will
+alwaye fynde one excuse or other to cloke therewyth theyr vyce and
+vnthryftynes.
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[140] Orig. reads _thou sluggynge in thy bedde dost thou no good_, which
+repetition of _thou_ seems unnecessary.
+
+
+
+
+¶ _Of the answere of the mastres to the mayde._ xciv.
+
+
+¶ A certayne wyfe there was, whiche was somwhat fayre, and, as all women
+be that be fayre, was somwhat proude of her beautye; and as she and her
+mayde satte together, she, as one that was desyrous to be praysed, sayd
+to her thus: I, faythe, Jone, howe thynkest thou? am I nat a fayre wyfe?
+Yes, by my trouth, maistres, quod she, ye be the fayrest that euer was
+excepte * * *
+
+  _The end is wanting._
+
+
+
+
+¶ _Of the northern man that was all harte._ xcv.
+
+
+  _Of this tale but a small fragment remains._
+
+
+
+
+¶ _Of the burnynge of olde John._ xcvi.
+
+
+¶ _In a certayne_ towne there was a wife somewhat aged, that had beryed
+_her husbande_, whose name was John, whome she so tend_erlye loued in
+his_ lyfe, that after hys dethe she caused an ymage of tymber _to be
+made in forme_ and persone as lyke to hym as coulde be; whiche ymage
+_she kept carefully_ under her bedde; and euery nyghte she caused her
+mayde to _wrap the ymage in a shete_ and lay it in her bedde; and called
+it olde John. Thys _widowe had_ a prentyse whose name was John; whiche
+John wolde fayne _haue married hys_ maystres, nat for no great pleasure,
+but onely for her good _substance: for she_ was ryche. Wherefore he
+ymagened howe he myght obtayne hys _desire and so dyd_ speke to the
+mayde of the house, and desyred her to lay hym in hys maystres bedde for
+one nyghte in stede of the pycture,[141] and promysed her a good rewarde
+for her laboure; whyche mayde ouer nyghte wrapped the sayde younge man
+in a shete, and layde hym in his maysters bedde, as she was wonte to
+laye the pycture. Thys wydowe was wonte euery nyght, before she slepte
+and dyuers tymes whan she waked, to kysse the sayde pycture of olde
+John: wherefore the sayde nyghte she kyssed the sayde yonge man,
+beleuynge that she hadde kyste the picture. And he sodenly sterte,[142]
+and toke her in his armes, and so well pleased her than, that olde John
+from thens forth was clene out of her mynde, and [she] was contente
+that this yonge John shulde lye with her styll all that nyghte, and that
+the pycture of olde John shulde lye styll under the bedde for a thynge
+of noughte. After thys in the mornynge, thys wydowe, intendynge to
+please this yonge John whyche had made her so good pastyme all the
+nyght, bad her mayde go dresse some good mete for their brekefast to
+feaste therwith her yonge John. This mayde, whan she had longe sought
+for wode to dresse the sayde mete, told her maystres that she coude
+fynde no wode that was drye, except onelye the pycture of olde John that
+lyeth under the bed. * * * * * * * *
+
+  _Some lines wanting._
+
+and dressyd the brekfast; and so olde John _was brenyd; and_ from thens
+forth yong John occupyed _his place_.
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[141] Not here put as a painting, but in a general sense, as a
+representation.
+
+[142] The old perfect of _start_. The orig. reads _starte_.
+
+
+
+
+¶ _Of the courtear that ete the hot custarde._ xcvii.
+
+
+¶ A certayne merchaunt and a courtear, _being upon a time together_ at
+dyner hauing a hote custerd, _the courtear being_ somwhat homely of
+maner toke _parte of it and put it_ in hys mouth, whych was so hote that
+made him _shed teares. The_ merchaunt, lokyng on him, thought that he
+had _ben weeping, and asked hym why_ he wept. This curtear, not wyllynge
+[it] to be kn_own that he had brent his_ mouth with the hote custerd,
+answered and said, sir: q_uod he, I had_ a brother whych dyd a certayn
+offence wherfore he was hanged; _and, chauncing_ to think now vppon his
+deth, it maketh me to wepe. This merchaunt thought the courtear had said
+trew, and anon after the merchaunt was disposid to ete _of the custerd_,
+and put a sponefull of it in his mouth, and brent his mouth also, that
+his _eyes watered_. This courtear, that perceuyng, spake to the
+merchaunt and seyd: sir, quod _he, pray_ why do ye wepe now? The
+merchaunt perseyued how he had _bene deceiued_ and said[143]: mary, quod
+he, I wepe, because thou wast not hangid, _when that_ thy brother was
+hangyd.
+
+
+
+
+¶ _Of the thre pointes belonging to a shrewd wyfe._ xcix.
+
+
+¶ A yong man, that was desirous to haue a wyf, cam to a company _of
+Phi_losofers which were gadred to gider, requiring them to gif _him
+their opinion_ howe he might chose him sich a wyf that wer no shrew.
+Th_ese Philos_ofers with gret study and delyberacion determinid and
+shewd this man that there _were iii espe_cial pointes, wherebi he shuld
+sure know if a woman were a shrew. The _i point is_ that if a woman have
+a shril voyce, it is a gret token that she is a shrew. The ii point is
+that, if a woman have a sharp nose, then most commenly she is a shrew.
+_The_ iii point that neuer doth mis is[144] that if she were [a]
+kerchefer,[145] ye may be sure she is a shrew.
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[143] Singer inserts _answered_ before _and said_; but the word does not
+appear to be required.
+
+
+
+
+¶ _Of the man that paynted the lamb upon his wyfes bely._ c.
+
+
+¶ A Conning painter ther was dwelling in London, which had a fayre yong
+wife, and for thingis that he had to do went ouer se; but because he was
+somwhat jelous, he praed his wyfe to be content, that he might paint a
+lamb upon her bely, and praed her it might remain ther, til he cam home
+again; wherewith she was content. After which lamb so painted he
+departid; and sone after that, a lusti yong merchaunt, a bacheler, came
+and woed his wyf, and obteined her fauor, so that she was content he
+shuld lye with her; which resortid to her and had his plesure oftymes;
+and on a time he toke a pensell, and to the lamb he painted ii hornys,
+wening to the wif that he had but refreshed the old painting. Than at
+the last, about a yere after, her husband cam home again, and the first
+night he lay with his wyfe, he loked uppon his wifes bely, and saw the
+ii hornes painted there. He said to his wif, that some other body had
+ben besy there, and made a new painting: for the picture that he painted
+had no hornes and this hath hornes; to whome this wif shortly * *
+* *
+
+  _cetera desunt._
+
+  _Here endeth the booke of a C. mery Talys. Imprinted
+  at London at the sygne of the meremayde
+  at powlys gate nexte to chepesyde._
+
+  ¶ _Cum priuelegio Regali._
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[144] Orig. reads _the iii point is that never mis that, &c._
+
+[145] A very costly article of female dress during the reigns of the
+Tudor and Stuart sovereigns. It constituted part of the head-gear, and
+from the way in which it was worn by some women, was calculated to
+convey a notion of skittishness. In the _New Courtly Sonet of the Lady
+Greensleeves_, printed in Robinson's "Handful of Pleasant Delites,"
+1584, the lover is made to say to his mistress:--
+
+"I bought three kerchers to thy head, That were wrought fine and
+gallantly: I kept thee both at board and bed, Which cost my purse
+well-favourdly."
+
+
+
+
+ADDITIONAL NOTES AND ILLUSTRATIONS.
+
+
+A C. MERY TALYS.
+
+Introduction, vi.--I might have mentioned that Taylor the Water-Poet
+cites _The Hundred Merry Tales_ as one of the authorities employed by
+him in the composition of his _Sir Gregory Nonsense His Newes from No
+Place_, 1622 (Taylor's Works, 1630), and see also Epistle Dedicatory to
+Meredith's _Eusebius_, 1577.
+
+P. 19.--This story is found in the _Ducento Novelle_ of Celio Malespini,
+printed at Venice, 1609, 4o.
+
+P. 22. _Of the Woman that sayd her Woer cam too late._
+
+  "If thou be slow to speake, as one I knew,
+  Thou wouldst assure thy selfe my counsels true;
+  Hee (too late) finding her upon her knees
+  In Church, where yet her husbands coorse she sees,
+  Hearing the Sermon at his funerall,
+  Longing to behold his buriall,
+  This sutor being toucht with inward love,
+  Approached neare his lovely sute to move,
+  Then stooping downe he whispered in her eare
+  Saying he bore her love, as might appeare,
+  In that so soone he shewed his love unto her,
+  Before any else did app[r]och to woo her,
+  Alass (said she) your labour is in vaine,
+  Last night a husband I did entertaine."
+
+--_Uncasing of Machivils Instructions to his Sonne_, 1612,
+Sign. C 3. Stories of this kind are of very common occurrence in the
+modern collections of facetiæ.
+
+P. 23. "When Davie Diker diggs, and dallies not,
+       When smithes shoo horses, as they would be shod,
+      _When millers toll not with a golden thumbe_."
+
+--_The Steel Glas, a Satyre_, by George Gascoigne, Esquire (1576), Sign.
+H 3 verso.
+
+A writer in the _Retrospective Review_, New Series, ii. 326, states that
+this story of the "Miller with the golden thumb" "is still (1854) a
+favourite in Yorkshire."
+
+P. 30. _Stumble at a Straw, &c._--This proverb is quoted in _Machivils
+Instructions to his Sonne_, 1613, p. 16.
+
+P. 35. _Of the good man that sayd to his wyfe. &c._
+
+"Dr. _South_, visiting a gentleman one morning, was ask'd to stay
+Dinner, which he accepted of; the Gentleman stept into the next Room and
+told his Wife, and desired she'd provide something extraordinary.
+Hereupon she began to murmer and scold, and make a thousand Words; till
+at length, Her husband, provok'd at her Behaviour, protested, that if it
+was not for the Stranger in the next Room, he would kick her out of
+Doors. Upon which the Doctor, who heard all that passed, immediately
+stept out, crying, _I beg, Sir, you'll make no Stranger of me_."
+
+--_Complete London Jester_, ed. 1771, p. 73.
+
+P. 44. _Draughthole._--See Dekker's _Guls' Horn Book_, 1609, ed. Nott,
+p. 121-2-3.
+
+P. 47. _Saynte Thomas of Acres._
+
+  "A the Austen fryers
+  They count us for lyers:
+  And at Saynt Thomas of Akers
+  They carpe us lyke crakers."
+
+  --Skelton's _Colin Clout_ (Works, ed. Dyce, i. 357).
+
+This tale is imitated in _Hobson's Conceits_.
+
+P. 60. _Of the gentylman, that promysed the scoler of Oxforde a sarcenet
+typet_--Sarcenet, at the period to which this story refers, was a
+material which only certain persons were allowed to wear. See Nicolas'
+note to a passage in the _Privy Purse Expenses of Elizabeth of York_, p.
+220. This jest is transplanted by Johnson, with very little alteration,
+into the _Pleasant Conceits of Old Hobson_, 1607.
+
+P. 78. _Therefore I pray thee, teche me my Pater noster, and by my
+truthe, I shall therfore teche thee a songe of Robyn Hode that shall be
+worth xx of it!_
+
+The following passage from a poem, which has been sometimes ascribed to
+Skelton, is a curious illustration of this paragraph:--
+
+  Thus these sysmatickes,
+  And lowsy lunatickes,
+  With spurres and prickes
+  Call true men heretickes.
+  They finger their fidles,
+  And cry in quinibles,
+  Away these bibles,
+  For they be but ridles!
+  And give them Robyn Whode,
+  To red howe he stode
+  In mery grene wode,
+  When he gathered good,
+  Before Noyes ffloodd!
+
+  _The Image of Ipocrysy_, Part iii.
+
+P. 84. _Of the wyfe that bad, &c._
+
+_Of swearing between a wyfe and her husband._
+
+  "Cis, by this candle in my sleep I thought
+  One told me of thy body thou wert nought.
+  Good husband, he that told you ly'd, she said,
+  And swearing, laid her hand upon the bread.
+  Then eat the bread, quoth he, that I may deem
+  That fancie false, that true to me did seem.
+  Nay, sir, said she, the matter well to handle,
+  Since you swore first, you first shall eat the candle."
+
+_Wits Interpreter, the English Parnassus_, By John Cotgrave, 1662, p. 286.
+
+P. 87. _Of the man that had the dome wyfe._
+
+  "A certain man, as fortune fel,
+  A woman tungles wedded to wive,
+  Whose frowning countenance perceivig by live
+  Til he might know what she ment he thought long,
+  And wished ful oft she had a tung.
+  The devil was redy, and appeered anon,
+  An aspin lefe he bid the man take,
+  And in her mouth should put but one,
+  A tung, said the devil, it shall her make;
+  Til he had doon his hed did ake;
+  Leaves he gathered, and took plentie,
+  And in her mouth put two or three.
+  Within a while the medicine wrought:
+  The man could tarry no longer time,
+  But wakened her, to the end he mought
+  The vertue knowe of the medicine;
+  The first woord she spake to him
+  She said: 'thou whoresonne knave and theef,
+  How durst thou waken me, with a mischeef!'
+    From that day forward she never ceased.
+  Her boistrous bable greeved him sore:
+  The devil he met, and him entreated
+  To make her tungles, as she was before;
+  'Not so,' said the devil, 'I will meddle no more.
+  A devil a woman to speak may constrain,
+  But all that in hel be, cannot let it again.'"
+
+_Schole-house of Women_, 1542 (Utterson's _Select Pieces of Early
+Popular Poetry_, ii. 74).
+
+P. 89. _Of the Proctour of Arches that had the lytel wyfe._
+
+"One ask'd his Friend, why he, so proper a Man himself, marry'd so small
+a Wyfe? _Why_, said he, _I thought you had known, that of all evils we
+should chuse the least_."--_Complete London Jester_, ed. 1771, p. 65.
+
+P. 92. _Of him that wolde gette, &c._
+
+In the _Scholehouse of Women_, 1542, the same story is differently
+related:--
+
+  "A husband man, having good trust
+  His wife to him bad be agreeable,
+  Thought to attempt if she had be reformable,
+  Bad her take the pot, that sod over the fire,
+  And set it aboove upon the astire.
+    She answered him: 'I hold thee mad,
+  And I more fool, by Saint Martine;
+  Thy dinner is redy, as thou me bad,
+  And time it were that thou shouldst dine,
+  And thou wilt not, I will go to mine.'
+  'I bid thee (said he) vere up the pot.'
+  'A ha! (she said) I trow thou dote,'
+    Up she goeth for fear, at last,
+  No question mooved where it should stand
+  Upon his hed the pottage she cast,
+  And heeld the pot stil in her hand.
+  Said and swore, he might her trust,
+  She would with the pottage do what her lust."
+
+As this story in the _C. Mery Talys_ is defective in consequence of the
+mutilation of the only known copy, the foregoing extract becomes
+valuable, as it exhibits what was probably the sequel in the prose
+version, from which the author of the _Scholehouse of Women_ was no
+doubt a borrower.
+
+P. 101. _If a thousande soules may dance on a mannes nayle._--This is a
+different form of the common saying that a thousand angels can stand on
+the point of the needle. "One querying another, whether a thousand
+angels might stand on the point of a needle, another replied, 'That was
+a _needles_ point.'"--Ward's _Diary_, ed. 1839, p. 94.
+
+P. 106. Scot, in his _Discovery of Witchcraft_, 1584, ed. 1651, p. 191,
+has a story, which bears the mark of being the same as the one here
+entitled "Of the parson that stale the mylner's elys." The passage in
+Scot, which may help to supply the unfortunate _lacuna_ in the _C. Mery
+Talys_, is as follows:--
+
+"So it was, that a certain Sir John, with some of his company, once went
+abroad jetting, and in a moon-light evening, robbed a miller's weire and
+stole all his eeles. The poor miller made his mone to Sir John himself,
+who willed him to be quiet; for he would so curse the theef, and
+all his confederates, with bell, book, and candel, that they should have
+small joy of their fish. And therefore the next Sunday, Sir John got him
+to the pulpit, with his surplisse on his back, and his stole about his
+neck, and pronounced these words following in the audience of the
+people:--
+
+  'All you that have stolne the millers eeles,
+    _Laudate Dominum de coelis_,
+  And all they that have consented thereto,
+    _Benedicamus Domino_.'
+
+Lo (saith he), there is savoe for your eeles, my masters."
+
+P. 108. _Of the parson that sayde masse of requiem, &c._--This story is
+also in _Scoggin's Jests_, 1626, and perhaps the lacunæ may be supplied
+from that source. Thus (the words supplied from _Scoggin's Jests_ are in
+italics):--
+
+"Then quod the prest: tel thy mayster that he must _say the Masse which
+doth begin with a great R_. [when the boy returned, the Prest asked him
+whether the Parson had told him what] masse, &c."
+
+And again, a line or two lower down, there can be no doubt, on a
+comparison of Scoggin's Jests, p. 74, what the missing words are. We
+ought to read:--"but he had me tell you it began _with a great R_."
+
+[Illustration: Johannes Ractell]
+
+
+
+
+  ¶ Tales, and quicke
+
+  answers, very mery,
+
+  and pleasant to
+
+  rede.
+
+
+  _Mery_
+
+  Tales, Wittie
+
+  _Questions_
+
+  and Quicke Answeres,
+
+  Very pleasant to
+  be Readde.
+
+
+  IMPRINTED
+
+  _at London
+
+  in Fleete strete, by_
+
+  H. Wykes.
+
+  1567.
+
+
+
+
+The Table.
+
+                                                                    PAGE
+
+  ¶ _Of hym that rode out of London, and had his
+  seruaunt folowynge hym on foote._ i.                                15
+
+  ¶ _Of hym that preached on saynte Christofers
+  day._ ii.                                                           16
+
+  ¶ _Of the frenche man that stroue with the
+  Fanwaye for his armes._ iii.                                      _ib._
+
+  ¶ _Of the curate that sayde our lorde fedde fyue
+  hundred persones._ iiii.                                            17
+
+  ¶ _Of hym that profered his doughter to one
+  in maryage._ v.                                                     18
+
+  ¶ _Of the men of the countrey, that came to
+  London to bye a crucifixe of wodde._ vi.                          _ib._
+
+  ¶ _Of hym that folowed his wyfe to buryeng._ vii.                   19
+
+  ¶ _Of hym that felle in to the fyre._ viii.                       _ib._
+
+  ¶ _Of hym that used to calle his seruaunte the
+  kynge of fooles._ ix.                                               20
+
+  ¶ _Of the yonge woman, that sorowed so greatly
+  the deathe of her husbande._ x.                                     21
+
+  ¶ _Of hym that kyssed the fayre mayde with the
+  longe nose._ xi.                                                  _ib._
+
+  ¶ _Of the uplandysshe mans answere concernyng
+  the steple and pulpytte._ xii.                                      23
+
+  ¶ _Of the beggers aunswere to mayster Skelton
+  the poete._ xiii.                                                 _ib._
+
+  ¶ _Of the chaplen that sayde our ladye mattens
+  lyenge in his bedde._ xiiii.                                        24
+
+  ¶ _Of hym that loste his purse in London._ xv.                      25
+
+  ¶ _Of the marchaunt that loste his boudget betwene
+  ware and London._ xvi.                                              26
+
+  ¶ _Of him that was called kockold._ xvii.                           27
+
+  ¶ _Of the iolus man._ xviii.                                        28
+
+  ¶ _Of the fat woman that sat and solde frute._ xix.               _ib._
+
+  ¶ _Of a poller that begyled a preste._ xx.                          29
+
+  ¶ _Of Papirius pretextatus._ xxi.                                   31
+
+  ¶ _Of the corrupte man of lawe._ xxii.                              33
+
+  ¶ _Of kynge Lowes of Fraunce and the husbandman
+  Conon._ xxiii.                                                      34
+
+  ¶ _Of a picke thanke, that thought to begyle the
+  same moste prudent kynge._ xxiiii.                                  37
+
+  ¶ _Of Thales the great astronomer, the whiche
+  felle in to a ditche._ xxv.                                         38
+
+  ¶ _Of the astronomer that theues robbed._ xxvi.                     39
+
+  ¶ _Of the plough man that wolde saye his pater
+  noster with a stedfast mynde._ xxvii.                             _ib._
+
+  ¶ _Of him that dreamed he founde golde._ xxviii.                    40
+
+  ¶ _Of the crakynge yonge gentyll man that wolde
+  ouerthrowe his enemys a myle of._ xxix.                             42
+
+  ¶ _Of him that fell of a tre and brake a rybbe in
+  his syde._ xxx.                                                     44
+
+  ¶ _Of the fryer that brayed in his sermon._                         45
+
+  ¶ _The oration of th ambassadour that was sent
+  to Pope Urban._ xxxii.                                              46
+
+  ¶ _Of the ambassadour that was sent to the prince
+  Agis._ xxxiii.                                                      47
+
+  ¶ _The answere of Cleomenes to the Samiens
+  ambassadour._ xxxiiii.                                            _ib._
+
+  ¶ _Of the wyse man Piso, and his seruant._ xxxv.                    48
+
+  ¶ _Of the marchant that made a wager with his
+  lorde._ xxxvi.                                                      49
+
+  ¶ _Of the scrowes that the frier gaue out against
+  the pestilence._ xxxvii.                                            51
+
+  ¶ _Of the physition that used to wryte bylles
+  ouer nyght called resceytes._ xxxviii.                              52
+
+  ¶ _Of him that wolde confesse him by a lybell in
+  wrytynge._ xxxix.                                                   53
+
+  ¶ _Of the hermite of Padowe._ xl.                                   54
+
+  ¶ _Of the uplandissh man that saw the kyng._ xli.                   56
+
+  ¶ _Of the courtier that bade the boye to holde his
+  horse._ xlii.                                                       57
+
+  ¶ _Of the deceytfull scriuener._ xliii.                            _ib._
+
+  ¶ _Of him that sayde he beleved his wyfe better
+  than other, that she was chaste._ xliiii.                           59
+
+  ¶ _Of him that paid his det with cryeng bea._ xlv.                  60
+
+  ¶ _Of the woman that appeled from kynge Philip
+  to kynge Philip._ xlvi.                                             62
+
+  ¶ _Of the olde woman that prayd for the welfare
+  of the tyran Denyse._ xlvii.                                        63
+
+  ¶ _Of the phisitian Eumonus._ xlviii.                               64
+
+  ¶ _Of Socrates and his scoldynge wyfe._ xlix.                       65
+
+  ¶ _Of the phisitian that bare his pacient on hand
+  he had eaten an asse._ l.                                         _ib._
+
+  ¶ _Of the inholders wyfe, and her ii louers._ li.                   67
+
+  ¶ _Of hym that healed franticke men._ lii.                          68
+
+  ¶ _Of hym that sayd he was nat worthy to open
+  the gate to the kynge._ liii.                                       70
+
+  ¶ _Of Mayster Uauasour and Turpyn his manne._
+  liiii.                                                            _ib._
+
+  ¶ _Of hym that sought his wyfe, that was drowned,
+  agaynst the streme._ lv.                                            72
+
+  ¶ _Of hym that at a skyrmyssh defended hym
+  valiauntly with his feete._ lvi.                                    73
+
+  ¶ _Of hym that wolde gyue a songe to the tauerner
+  for his dyner._ lvii.                                               74
+
+  ¶ _Of the foole that thought him selfe deed, whan
+  he was a lyue._ lviii.                                              75
+
+  ¶ _Of the olde man and his sonne that brought
+  his asse to the towne to sylle._ lix.                               78
+
+  ¶ _Of him that sought his asse, and rode upon his
+  backe._ lx.                                                         80
+
+  ¶ _The answere of Fabius to Liuius._ lxi.                           81
+
+  ¶ _The answere of Poltis the kynge of Trace to
+  the Troyan ambassadours._ lxii.                                     82
+
+  ¶ _The wyse answere of Haniball to kynge Antiochus
+  concerninge his ryche army._ lxiii.                                 83
+
+  ¶ _The wordes of Popilius the Romayn ambassadour
+  to Antiochus the kynge._ lxiiii.                                  _ib._
+
+  ¶ _Of hym that loued the marchantes wyfe._ lxv.                     84
+
+  ¶ _Of the woman that couered her heed, and
+  shewed up her tayle._ lxvi.                                         86
+
+  ¶ _How Alexander was monisshed to slee the
+  firste that he mette. lxvii._                                     _ib._
+
+  ¶ _How the aunciente cyte of Lamsac was saued
+  from destruction._ lxviii.                                          87
+
+  ¶ _Howe Demosthenes defended a mayde._ lxix.                        88
+
+  ¶ _Of him that desyred to be a gentylman._ lxx.                     89
+
+  ¶ _Of the gentyllman and his shrewd wife._ lxxi.                    90
+
+  ¶ _Of the two yonge men that rode to Walsyngham
+  to gether._ lxxii.                                                  91
+
+  ¶ _Of the yong man of Brugis and his spouse._
+  lxxiii.                                                             92
+
+  ¶ _Of him that made as he hadde ben a chaste
+  lyuer._ lxxiiii.                                                    93
+
+  ¶ _Of him that the olde roode fell on._ lxxv.                       94
+
+  ¶ _Of the wydowe that wolde not wedde for bodily
+  pleasure._ lxxvi.                                                   95
+
+  ¶ _Of the couetous ambassadour, that wolde here
+  no musike for sparinge of his purse._ lxxvii.                     _ib._
+
+  ¶ _Howe Denyse the tyran of Syracuse serued
+  a couetouse man._ lxxix.                                            97
+
+  ¶ _Of the old man that quyngered the boy oute of
+  the aple tre with stones._ lxxx.                                    98
+
+  ¶ _Of the ryche man that was sycke and wolde
+  not receyue a glyster._ lxxxi.                                      99
+
+  ¶ _Of him that feyned him selfe deed, to proue
+  what his wyfe wolde do._ lxxxii.                                  _ib._
+
+  ¶ _Of the poure man, in to whose house theues
+  brake by nyght._ lxxxiii.                                          101
+
+  ¶ _Of him that shulde haue ben hanged for his
+  scoffinge and his iestynge._ lxxxiiii.                            _ib._
+
+  ¶ _Of him that had his goose stole._ lxxxv.                        102
+
+  ¶ _Of the begger that sayde he was of kynne to
+  kynge Phylip of Macedone._ lxxxvi.                                 103
+
+  ¶ _Of Dantes answere to the iester._ lxxxvii.                     _ib._
+
+  ¶ _Of hym that had sore eies._ lxxxviii.                           104
+
+  ¶ _Of the olde woman that had sore eies._ lxxxix.                  105
+
+  ¶ _Of hym that had the custody of a warde._  xc.                   106
+
+  ¶ _Of the excellente peynter, that hadde foule
+  chyldren._ xci.                                                   _ib._
+
+  ¶ _Of the scoffer that made one a southsayer._ xcii.               107
+
+  ¶ _Of the marchant of Florence, Charles._ xciii.                  _ib._
+
+  ¶ _Of the chesshire man called Eulyn._ xciiii.                     108
+
+  ¶ _Of hym that desyred to be sette vpon the
+  pyllorye._ xcv.                                                    109
+
+  ¶ _Of the wydowes daughter, that was sente to
+  the abbot with a couple of capons._ xcvi.                          111
+
+  ¶ _Of the two men that dranke a pynte of whyte
+  wyne to gether._ xcvii.                                            112
+
+  ¶ _Of the doctour that desyred to go with a fouler
+  to catche byrdes._ xcviii.                                         114
+
+  ¶ _Of hym that undertoke to teache an asse to
+  spelle and rede._ xcix.                                            115
+
+  ¶ _Of the fryer that confessed the fayre woman._ c.                116
+
+  ¶ _Of the chapplen of Louen called syr Antonye
+  that deceyued an vserer._ ci.                                      118
+
+  ¶ _Of the same chaplen and his spiter._ cii.                       119
+
+  ¶ _Of the olde manne that putte hym selfe in his
+  sonnes handes._ ciii.                                              121
+
+  ¶ _Of hym that had a flye peynted in his shilde._
+  ciiii.                                                             122
+
+  ¶ _Of the emperour Augustus and the olde men._ cv.                 123
+
+  ¶ _Of Phocions oration to the Atheniens._ cvi.                    _ib._
+
+  ¶ _Of Demosthenes and Phocion._ cvii.                              124
+
+  ¶ _Of the aunswere of Phocion to them that brought
+  hym a great gyfte from Alexander._ cviii.                         _ib._
+
+  ¶ _Of Denyse the tyran and his sonne._ cix.                        125
+
+  ¶ _Of Pomponius the Romayne that was taken
+  and brought before Mithridates._ cx.                              _ib._
+
+  ¶ _Of Titus and the scoffer._ cxi.                                 126
+
+  ¶ _Of Scipio Nasica, and Ennius the poete._ cxii.                 _ib._
+
+  ¶ _Of Fabius Minutius and his sonne._ cxiii.                       127
+
+  ¶ _Of Aurelian the emperour, that was displeased,
+  bycause the citie Tyana was closed
+  agaynste him._ cxiiii.                                             128
+
+  ¶ _Of the Nunne forced that durst not crie._ cxv.                  129
+
+  ¶ _Of him that sayde he was the Diuelles man._
+  cxvi.                                                             _ib._
+
+  ¶ _Of the vplandishe priest, that preached of
+  Charitie._ cxvii.                                                  130
+
+  ¶ _An other sayinge of the same preest._ cxviii.                   131
+
+  ¶ _Of the fryer that praysed sainct Frauncis._
+  cxix.                                                              133
+
+  ¶ _Of hym that warned his wife of wasshynge her
+  face in foule puddell water._ cxx.                                _ib._
+
+  ¶ _Of the husband man that caused his iudge to
+  geue sentence agaynst him selfe._ cxxi.                            134
+
+  ¶ _Of the Italian frier that shoulde preach before
+  the B. of Rome and his cardinals._ cxxii.                         _ib._
+
+  ¶ _Of the doctour that sayd, in Erasmus workes
+  were heresies._ cxxiii.                                            136
+
+  ¶ _Of the frier that preached at Paules crosse
+  agaynst Erasmus._ cxxiiii.                                         137
+
+  ¶ _Of an other frier that taxed Erasmus for
+  writyng Germana theologia._ cxxv.                                  138
+
+  ¶ _Of an other that inueighed agaynst the same
+  Erasmus._ cxxvi.                                                  _ib._
+
+  ¶ _Of kyng Richarde the iii. and the Northern
+  man._ cxxvii.                                                      139
+
+  ¶ _Of the Canon and his man._ cxxviii.                             140
+
+  ¶ _Of the same Canon and his sayd man._ cxxix.                    _ib._
+
+  ¶ _Of the gentilman that checked hys seruant
+  for talke of ryngyng._ cxxx.                                       141
+
+  ¶ _Of the blynde man and his boye._ cxxxi.                         142
+
+  ¶ _Of him that sold two lodes of hey._ cxxxii.                    _ib._
+
+  ¶ _How a mery man deuised to cal people to a
+  playe._ cxxxiii.                                                   145
+
+  ¶ _How the image of the dyuell was lost and
+  sought._ cxxxiiii.                                                 148
+
+  ¶ _Of Tachas, kyng of Aegypt, and Agesilaus._
+  cxxxv.                                                             149
+
+  ¶ _Of Corar the Rhetorician, and Tisias hys
+  scoler._ cxxxvi.                                                   150
+
+  ¶ _Of Augustus and Athenodorus the Phylosopher._
+  cxxxvii.                                                           151
+
+  ¶ _Of the frenche kyng and the brome seller._
+  cxxxviii.                                                          152
+
+  ¶ _An other tale of the same frenche kyng._
+  cxxxix.                                                            153
+
+  ¶ _What an Italyan fryer dyd in his preaching._
+  cxl.                                                               155
+
+
+
+
+TALES
+
+AND
+
+QUICKE ANSWERES.
+
+
+
+
+¶ _Of hym that rode out of London and had his seruaunt folowynge on
+foote._ i.
+
+
+¶ There was a manne on a tyme that rode v myle out of London, and had
+his seruaunt folowyng after hym on fote, the whiche came so nere, that
+the horse strake hym a great stroke vpon the thye. The seruaunte,
+thynkynge to be reuenged, toke and threwe a great stone at the horse,
+and hytte his mayster on the raynes of the backe, who thought it had
+bene his horse. He within a whyle loked backe and chydde his seruaunte,
+bycause he came haltynge so farre behynde. The seruaunt aunswered: Sir,
+your horse hath gyuen me suche a stroke vpon my thygh, that I can go no
+faster. Trewely, sayde his mayster, the horse is a great kyckar, for
+lyke-wyse with his hele right nowe[146] he gaue me a great stroke vpon
+the raynes of my backe.
+
+
+
+
+¶ _Of hym that preched on saynt Chrystophers day._ ii.
+
+
+¶ A fryere that preached vpon a saynt Christofers daye, greatly laudynge
+saynte Christopher, sayde: what a prerogatyue hadde he here in erthe in
+his armes to beare our Sauioure! was there euer any lyke hym in grace? A
+homely blount felowe, heryng hym aske twyse or thryse that question so
+ernestly, answered: yes, mary: the asse that bare both hym and his
+mother.
+
+
+
+
+¶ _Of the frenche man, that stroue with the Janway for his armes._ iii.
+
+
+¶ There was one amonge the Janwayes[147] that the Frenche kyng had hyred
+to make warre agaynst the Englysshe men, which bare an oxe heed paynted
+in his shelde: the whiche shelde a noble man of France challenged: and
+so longe they stroue, that they must needs fyght for it. So, at a day
+and place appoynted, the frenche gallaunt came into the felde, rychely
+armed at all peces.[148] The Janway all vnarmed came also in to the
+felde, and said to the frenche man: wherfore shall we this day fyght?
+Mary, sayd the frenche man, I wyll make good with my body, that these
+armes were myne auncetours' before thyne. What were your auncetours'
+armes, quod the Janwaye? An oxe heed, sayd the frenche man. Than, sayde
+the Janwaye, here needeth no batayle: for this that I beare is a cowes
+heed.
+
+By thys tale ye perceyue howe nycely the vayne braggynge of the frenche
+man was deryded.
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[146] Just now.
+
+[147] The Genoese.
+
+
+
+
+¶ _Of the curate that sayde our Lorde fedde U. C. persons._ iiii.
+
+
+¶ A certayne curate, preachynge on a tyme to his parysshens sayde, that
+our Lorde with fyue loues fedde v hundred persones. The clerke, herynge
+hym fayle,[149] sayde softely in his eare: Sir, ye erre; the gospell is
+v. thousande. Holde thy peace, foole, said the curate; they wyll scantly
+beleue, that they were fyue hundred.
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[148] At all points.
+
+[149] Make a mistake.
+
+
+
+
+¶ _Of hym that profered his doughter in mariage._ v.
+
+
+¶ There was a man vpon a tyme, whiche profered his doughter to a yonge
+man in mariage, the which yonge manne refused her, sayenge, that she was
+to yonge to be maryed. I wys, quod her foolysshe father, she is more
+able than ye wene. For she hath borne iii. children by our parysshe
+cleeke.
+
+Lo, by this tale ye se, that foles can nat telle what and whan to
+speake: therfore it were best for them to kepe alway silence.
+
+
+
+
+¶ _Of them that came to London to bye a Crucifixe._ vi.
+
+
+¶ There were certayne men vpon a tyme sent out of a village to London to
+bye a Crucifixe of wodde. The Caruer that they came to, seynge and
+herynge by theyr wordes, that they were but folysshe blount felowes,
+asked them, whether they wolde haue the ymage a lyue or elles deade;
+whiche question so abasshed them, that they went a syde to deuyse
+whether[150] was beste. So whan they had spoken priuely to gether, they
+came to the caruer agayne and said they wold haue the image a lyue:
+for, if theyr neighbours at home where nat so contente, they myghte
+lyghtly[151] kylle hym.
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[150] Which of the two.
+
+
+
+
+¶ _Of hym that folowed his wyfe to buryenge._ vii.
+
+
+¶ A man, that wepynge folowed his wyfe to buryenge, rebuked his lyttel
+sonne, that wente with hym, because he sange, sayenge that he was
+peuysshe and madde to synge at his mothers buryenge, but he shulde
+rather be sory and wepe. The chylde answered: father, seynge ye gyue to
+these prestes money to synge at my mothers buryenge, why be ye angry
+with me, that aske you nothynge for my syngynge? His father aunswered:
+the preestes offyce and thyne is nat all one.
+
+By thys tale ye may perceyue that all thynges beseme nat euery body.
+
+
+
+
+¶ _Of hym that felle into the fyre._ viii.
+
+
+¶ A felowe, that was frowarde to his wyfe, vsed to be oute drynkynge
+many tymes verye late. So on a nyghte he taryed so longe oute, that his
+wyfe wente to bedde, and badde her mayde make a good fyre, and tarye vp
+for hym. About xij. of the clocke home he came, and as he stode warmynge
+him by the fyre his heed was so tottye,[152] that he felle into the
+fyre. The mayde, seing him fall, ranne vp cryenge to her maistres, and
+sayd: Alas! my maister is fallen and lyeth longe straughte in the fyre.
+No force,[153] mayde, said her maistres, let him lye and take his
+pleasure in his owne house, where so euer him listeth.
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[151] A too literal translation of the French word _legierement_, which
+ought here to have been rendered _readily_, rather than _lightly_.
+
+
+
+
+¶ _Of him that vsed to cal his servant the kinge of foles._ ix.
+
+
+¶ There was a man that had a dulle lumpisshe felow to his seruant,
+wherfore he vsed commonly to call him the kinge of fooles. The felow at
+laste waxed angry in his minde to be alway so called and sayde to his
+mayster: I wolde that I were the kinge of foles: for then no man coulde
+compare with me in largenes of kingedome, and also you shulde be my
+subiect. By this one may perceiue, that to moch of one thing is not
+good: many one calleth an other fole, and is more fole him selfe.
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[152] Giddy.
+
+[153] No matter.
+
+
+
+
+¶ _Of the yonge woman that sorowed so greatly her husbondes deth._ x.
+
+
+¶ There was a yonge woman, the whiche for her husbande, that laye a
+dyenge, sorowed oute of all measure, wherfore her father came often to
+her and sayde: daughter, leaue your mourninge: for I haue prouyded for
+you a nother husbande, a farre more goodly man. But she did nat onely
+continue in her sorowe, but also was greatly displeased, that her father
+made any motion to her of an other husbande. As sone as she had buryed
+her husbande, and the soule masse was songe, and that they were at
+dyner, betwene sobbynge and wepynge she rowned[154] her father in the
+eare, and sayde: father, where is the same yonge man, that ye said shuld
+be min husbande? Lo, thus may ye se, that women sorowe ryght longe,
+after theyr husbondes be departed to God.
+
+
+
+
+¶ _Of him that kissed the mayd with the longe nose._ xi.
+
+
+¶ A bablynge gentylman, the whiche on a tyme wolde haue bassed[155] a
+fayre mayde, that had nat the leest nose, sayde: how shulde I kysse you:
+youre nose wyll not suffre our lyppes to mete? The mayden, waxinge
+shamfast and angrye in her mynde (for with his scoffe he a lyttell
+touched her) answered on this wyse: syr, if ye can not kysse my mouth
+for my nose, ye may kysse me there as I haue nere a nose.
+
+Ye may by this tale lerne, that it is folye so to scoffe, that youre
+selfe therby shulde be laughed to scorne agayne. One that is
+ouer-couetous ought nat to attwite[156] an other of prodigalite. Thou
+arte her brother (sayd Alcmeon to Adrastus) that slewe her husbande. But
+he blamed nat Alcmeon for an others faute, but obiected against him his
+owne. Thou hast with thy hande (sayd he) slayne thin owne mother. It is
+nat ynough to haue rebukes redie, and to speke vyle wordes agaynst
+other: for he, that so shuld do, ought to be without any vyce. For of
+all men, sayth Plutarchus, he ought to be innocent and haue the lyfe
+vnculpable, that wolde reprehende the fautes of other. The lyttell
+morall boke[157] sayth:
+
+  It is a foule thynge worthye rebuke and blame
+  A vyce to reprehende and do the same.
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[154] Whispered--_Singer_.
+
+[155] Kissed, from the French word.
+
+[156] _i.e._ twit or taunt.
+
+[157] _Parvus et Magnus Catho_, printed by Caxton, n.d. 4to. Chaucer, in
+his _Miller's Tale_ (_Chaucer's Works_, ed. Bell, i. 194), describes the
+old carpenter of Oxford, who had married a young girl, as having
+neglected to study [_Magnus_] _Catho_, which prescribed that marriages
+ought to take place between persons of about the same age.
+
+"He knew not Catoun, for his wyt was rude, That bad man schulde wedde
+his similitude."
+
+No doubt both _Cato_ and _Parvus Cato_ circulated in MS. before the
+invention of printing. The former was printed by Caxton in 1483-4. See
+Blades (_Life and Typography of William Caxton_, ii. 53-4).
+
+
+
+
+¶ _The Uplandisshe mans answere, concerninge the steple and pulpit._
+xii.
+
+
+¶ In a certayne place, on a tyme the perysshyns[158] had pulled downe
+theyr steple, and had buylded it vp newe agayne, and had put out theyr
+belles to be newe-founded: and bycause they range nat at the bysshops
+entrynge into the village, as they were wont and acustomed to do, he
+asked a good homely man, whether they had no belles in theyr steple: he
+answered: no! Than, sayde the bysshop, ye may sylle aweye[159] your
+steple. Why so, and please your lordship, sayd the man? Bycause hit
+stondeth vacant, said the bysshop. Than sayde the man, we may well sylle
+away an other thinge, that we haue in our churche. What is that, sayd
+the bysshop? That is a pulpit, quod he. For this vii yere ther was no
+sermon made therin.
+
+
+
+
+¶ _Of the beggers answere to M. Skelton the poete._ xiii.
+
+
+¶ A poure begger, that was foule, blacke and lothlye to beholde, cam
+vpon a tyme vnto mayster Skelton the poete, and asked him his almes. To
+whom mayster Skelton sayde: I praye the, gette the awaye fro me: for
+thou lokeste as though thou camest out of helle. The poure man,
+perceyuing he wolde gyue him no thynge, answerd: For soth, syr, ye say
+trouth, I came oute of helle. Why dyddest thou nat tary styl there, quod
+mayster Skelton? Mary, syr, quod the begger, there is no roume for suche
+poure beggers as I am: all is kepte for suche gentyl men as ye be.
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[158] Parishioners. This jest is included by Johnson in his _Pleasant
+Conceits of Old Hobson, the Merry Londoner_, 1607 (reprinted 1843. p.
+17).
+
+[159] Sell away.
+
+
+
+
+¶ _Of the chaplen, that sayde our lady matens a bed._ xiiii.
+
+
+¶ A certayne lorde's chaplen bosted on a tyme, syttynge at his lorde's
+table, that he sayde our lady matyns euery morninge besyde all his other
+seruice and orisons. The lorde, to proue whether his chaplen did as he
+sayde, arose yerly on a morninge, and went to his chaplen's chamber, and
+called hym, saying: where be ye, syr wylliam? Here, and please your
+lordshyp (quod he), in my bedde. Why, sayd the lorde, I thought ye had
+ben vp and sayenge of our lady matyns. I am nowe sayinge it, quod the
+chappleyn. What! lienge in your bedde, quod the lord? why, syr, sayd the
+chapplain, where shudde women be serued but a bedde?
+
+
+
+
+¶ _Of him that lost his purse in London._ xv.
+
+
+¶ A certayn man of the countre, the whiche for busines came vp to
+London, lost his purse as he wente late in the euenynge; and by cause
+the somme therin was great, he sette vp bylles in dyuers places that, if
+any man of the cyte had founde the purse, and wolde brynge it agayne to
+him, he shulde haue welle for his laboure. A gentyll man of the Temple
+wrote vnder one of the byls, howe the man shulde come to his chamber,
+and tolde [him] where. So, whan he was come, the gentyll man asked him
+fyrst what was in the purse; secondli, what countrey man he was, and
+thirdly, what was his name? Syr, quod he, xx nobles was inne the pourse;
+I am halfe a walshe man; and my name is John vp Janken.[160] John vp
+Jankyn (sayde the gentyll man), I am gladde I knowe thy name: for so
+longe as I lyue, thou nor none of thyn name shal haue my purse to kepe;
+and nowe fare well, gentyll John vp Jankyn. Thus he was mocked to scorne
+and went his way.
+
+Hereby ye may perceyue, that a man can not haue a shrewde tourne, but
+otherwhyle a mocke withall.
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[160] John ap Jenkin.
+
+
+
+
+¶ _Of the marchaunt that lost his bodgette betwene Ware and Lon[don]._
+xvi.
+
+
+¶ A certayne marchant betwene Ware and London lost his bodget and a c
+li. therin, wherfore he caused to proclayme in dyuers market townes,
+that who so euer[161] founde the sayde bodget, and wolde bryng it
+agayne, shulde haue xx li. for his labour. An honeste husbandeman, that
+chaunsed to fynde the sayde bodget, brought it to the baily[162] of
+Ware, accordynge to the crye, and required his xx li. for his labour, as
+it was proclaymed. The couetous marchant, whan he vnderstode this, and
+that he muste nedes pay xx li. for the fyndynge, he sayd, that there was
+an c and xx li. in his bodgette, and so wolde haue hadde his owne money
+and xx li. ouer. So longe they stroue, that the matter was brought
+before mayster Vauasour the good Judge. Whan he vnderstode by the
+bayllye, that the crye was made for a bodget with an c li. therin, he
+demanded where hit[163] was? Here, quod the bailly, and toke it vnto
+him. Is it iust an c li. sayde the Judge? Ye, trulye, quod the baillye.
+Holde, sayde the Judge (to him that founde the bodget), take thou this
+money vnto thyne owne vse: and if thou hap to fynde a bodgette with a c
+and xx li. therin, brynge it to this honest marchante man. It is myn; I
+lost no more but an c li. quod the marchant. Ye speke nowe to late, quod
+the Judge.
+
+By this tale ye may vnderstande, that they that go about to disceyue
+other, be often tymes disceyued them selfe. And some tyme one fallethe
+in the dytche, that he him selfe made.
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[161] The original has _who so ever that_.
+
+[162] Baillie or magistrate, from the old French word _bailli_.
+
+[163] This form of _it_, though it does not occur in the _C. Mery
+Tales_, is very common in old English works; see the _Seven Sages_,
+edited by Wright, 1845, for the Percy Society, and the _Anglo-Saxon
+Passion of St. George_, 1850 (Percy Soc.).
+
+
+
+
+¶ _Of him that was called cuckolde._ xvii.
+
+
+¶ A certayne man, whiche vpon a tyme in company betwene ernest and game
+was called cuckolde, went angerly home to his wife and sayde: wyfe, I
+was this day in company called kockolde; whether am I one or nat? Syr,
+truly, sayde she, ye be none. By my fayth (sayde he), thou shall swere
+so vpon this boke; and helde to her a boke. She denyed it longe; but
+whan she sawe there was no remedy, she sayde: well, sythe I must nedes
+swere, I promyse you by my faythe, I will swere truly. Yea, do so, quod
+he. So she toke the boke in her hande and sayd: By this boke, syr, ye
+be a cokolde. By the masse, hore, sayd he, thou lyest! thou sayste it
+for none other cause but to anger me.
+
+By this tale ye may parceyue, that it is nat best at all tymes for a man
+to beleue his wife, though she swere vpon a boke.
+
+
+
+
+¶ _Of the iolous man._ xviii.
+
+
+¶ A man that was ryght iolous on his wyfe, dreamed on a nyght as he laye
+a bed with her and slepte, that the dyuell aperd vnto him and sayde:
+woldest thou nat be gladde, that I shulde put the in suretie of thy
+wife? Yes, sayde he. Holde, sayde the dyuell, as longe as thou hast this
+rynge vpon thy fynger, no man shall make the kockolde. The man was
+gladde therof, and whan he awaked, he founde his fynger in * * * * * * *.
+
+
+
+
+¶ _Of the fatte woman that solde frute._ xix.
+
+
+¶ As a greate fatte woman sate and solde frute in a Lente, there came a
+yonge man bye, and behelde her frute ernestly, and specially he caste
+his eyes on her fygges. She asked him, as was her gyse: syr, wyll ye
+haue any fygges; they be fayre and good? And whan she sawe he was
+content, she sayde, howe manye? wyll ye haue fyue li? He was content.
+So she wayed him oute fyue li. into his lappe: and whyle she layde aside
+her balaunce, he wente his waye faire and softely. Whan she tourned to
+haue taken her[164] money, and sawe her chapman go his waye, she made
+after apace, but faster with her voice than with hir fote. He,
+dissemblinge the mater, wente styll forth on. She made suche a cryenge
+and folkes gathered so faste, that he stode styll. So in the preace he
+shewed to the people all the matter, and said: I bought nothing of hir;
+but that that she vnbyd gaue me, I toke; and if she wyll, I am contente
+to go before the Justice.
+
+
+
+
+¶ _Of a poller that begyled a prest._ xx.
+
+
+¶ Vpon a tyme in Andwarpe a false pollynge[165] felowe came vnto a
+certeyne preste, that hadde his purse hangynge at his gyrdell
+strouttinge[166] oute full of money that he a lytell before had
+resceyued, and gentilly gretynge hym sayde: good Mayster, our parysshe
+preste bad me bye him a palle[167] (which is the vppermoste vestement,
+that a preste syngeth masse in); if it wolde please you to go with me, I
+were moche bounde to you: for our curat and you be of one stature. The
+preste was contente. Whan they came there where he wolde bye it, the
+palle was broughte forth, and the preste dyd it on: the poller loketh
+and toteth[168] thereon, and preyseth it, but he layde a wyte,[169] that
+it was to shorte before. Nay, quod the syller, the faute is nat in the
+vestement, hit is the strouttinge purse vnderneth that beareth hit up.
+Shortely to speake, the prest dyd of his purse, and layde hit by, and
+than the vestiment they behelde agayne. Whan the poller sawe the preste
+was tourned, he snatched vp the purs, and toke his legges and to
+go.[170] The preste rounne after with the vestement on his backe: and
+the vestement-maker after the prest. The prest bad stop the thefe, the
+siller bad stop the prest, the poller bade holde the mad preste, and
+euery man wende[171] he had ben mad in dede, bicause he had the
+vestement on his backe; and so whyle one letted an other, the false
+poller went his waye.
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[164] The original has _whan she turned her to have taken money_.
+
+[165] Cheating.
+
+[166] The word seems to be here used in a rare sense. The meaning is
+_bulging_.
+
+[167] This word (Latinè _pallium_) was originally used in a special and
+exclusive signification.
+
+[168] Singer explains this to mean _gazeth_.
+
+[169] Found fault with it.
+
+[170] There is probably some corruption here. We ought perhaps to read:
+"and toke _to_ his legges _as if_ to go."
+
+[171] Weened.
+
+
+
+
+¶ _Of Papirius pretextatus._ xxi.
+
+
+¶ AULUS GELLIUS[172] reherseth, how the Senatours of Rome on a tyme
+helde a great counsaile. Before which tyme the senatours chyldren,
+called of their garmentes _Pueri pretextati_, vsed to come into the
+parlemente house with theyre fathers. So at this tyme a chylde, called
+Papyrius, cam in with his father and herde the great counsayl the which
+was straytely commaunded to be kept secrete, tyll hit was decreed. Whan
+this chylde came home, his mother asked him what the counsaile was. The
+chylde answered, hit oughte nat to be tolde. Now was his mother more
+desyrous to knowe hit than she was before; wherfore she enquered more
+straitly and more violentlye. The chylde, beinge sore constrayned of his
+mother, shortelye deuysed a propre merye leasynge.[173] It is reasoned
+in the parlemente (quod he), whether of both[174] shulde be more
+profytable for the comon welth, a man to haue ii wiues or els a woman ii
+husbandes. Whan she harde him saye so, her mynde was pacified: and
+forth-with she wente and tolde hit to the other matrones.
+
+On the morowe, a great company of the moste notable wyues of Rome came
+to the parlemente house weping, and humbly prayeng, that rather one
+woman shuld be maryed vnto ii men than ii wemen to one man. The
+Senatours entringe into the court, what with the sodayn assembling of
+the wyues and of their request, were right sore astonied. Than the
+childe Papyrius stode forth, and enformed the senatours, how his mother
+wold haue compelled him to vtter the secrete counsayle: and howe he, to
+contente her mynde, feyned that leasynge. For which dede the Senatours
+right hyghly commended the childes fydelite and wytte. And forth-with
+they made a law, that no child after that (saue only Papirius) shuld
+come in to the parlement house with his father. And for his great
+prudence in that tender age he hadde gyuen to hym, to his great honour,
+this surname _Pretextatus_.
+
+Whereby ye may se, that the hygh treasure of man, and greattest grace,
+rested in well-ordrynge of the tonge. The moste prudent poete Hesiodus
+sayth: The tonge shulde not ronne at large, but be hydde as a precious
+treasure: for, of all the membres of man, the tonge yll-ordered is the
+worste. The tonge blasphemeth God. The tonge slaundereth thy neyghbour.
+The tonge breaketh peace, and stereth vp cruell warre, of all thynges
+to mankynde moste mischefull; the tonge is a broker of baudrye; the
+tonge setteth frendes at debate; the tonge with flatterynge, detraction
+and wanton tales enfecteth pure and clene myndes; the tonge without
+sworde or venome strangleth thy brother and frende; and brefely to
+speake, the tonge teacheth cursed heresyes, and of good Christiens
+maketh Antichristes.
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[172] _Noctes Atticæ_, translated by Belue, vol. i. p. 86. The _Historie
+of Papyrius Prætextatus_ is related in the 18th Novel of the 1st Tome of
+Painter's _Palace of Pleasure_.
+
+[173] Deceit, or what would now be called a _white lie._
+
+[174] _i.e._ which of the two.
+
+
+
+
+¶ _Of the corrupte man of lawe._ xxii.
+
+
+¶ There was a man of lawe, whiche on a tyme shulde be iudge betwene a
+poure man and a ryche: the poure man came, and gaue hym a glasse of oyle
+(whiche was as moche as his power wold stretche to) and desyred, that he
+wolde be good in his matter. Yes, quod he, the matter shall passe[175]
+with the. The riche man, perceyuynge that, sente to the same iudge a
+fatte hogge, and prayed hym to be fauorable on his syde. Wherfore he
+gaue iudgement agaynst the poure man. Whan the poure man sawe that he
+was condemned, pytously complaynyng he sayd to the Judge: syr, I gaue
+you a glasse of oyle, and ye promysed by your faith, the matter shulde
+passe with me. To whom the iuge sayde: for a trouth there came a hogge
+into my house, whiche founde the glasse of oyle, and ouerthrewe and
+brake it: and so through spyllynge of the oyle I cleane forgot the.
+
+  Wherby ye may se, that euermore amonge
+  The ryche hath his wyll, the pore taketh wronge.
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[175] Go easily.
+
+
+
+
+¶ _Of kynge Lowes of France, and the husbandman._ xxiii.
+
+
+¶ What tyme kynge Lowes of Fraunce, the xi of that name, bycause of the
+trouble that was in the realme, kepte hym selfe in Burgoyne, he chaunced
+by occasion of huntinge to come acqueynted with one Conon a homely
+husbande man, and a plaine meanynge felowe, in whiche maner of men the
+hygh princes greatly delyte them. To this man's house the kynge ofte
+resorted from huntynge. And with great pleasure he wolde eate radysshes
+rotes with hym. Within a whyle after, whan Lowes was restored home, and
+had the gouernaunce of France in his hande, this husbandeman was
+counsailed by his wyfe to take a goodiy sorte of radysshe rotes and to
+go and gyue them to the kyng, and put him in mind of the good chere,
+that he had made hym at his house. Conon wolde nat assente therto. What
+folysshe woman! quod he, the greate princes remembre nat suche smalle
+pleasures. But for all that she wolde not reste, tyll Conon chose out a
+great syght[176] of the fayrest rootes, and toke his iourney towarde the
+courte. But as he went by the way, he yete vp all the radysshes save one
+of the greattest.
+
+Conon peaked[177] into the courte, and stode where the kynge shulde
+passe by: By and by the kynge knewe hym, and called hym to hym. Conon
+stepte to the kynge and presented his rote with a gladde chere. And the
+kynge toke it more gladly, and bad one, that was nerest to hym, to laye
+it vp amonge those iewels that he best loued; and than commaunded Conon
+to dyne with hym. Whan dyner was done, he thanked Conon: and whan the
+kyng sawe that he wolde departe home, he commaunded to gyue hym a
+thousande crownes of golde for his radisshe rote. Whan this was knowen
+in the kinges house, one of the court gaue the kyng a propre mynion[178]
+horse. The king, perceiuing that he dyd it, bicause of the liberalite
+shewed vnto Conon, with very glad chere he toke the gyft, and counsailed
+with his lordes, howe and with what gyft he myght recompence the
+horse, that was so goodly and faire. This meanewhile the picke-thank had
+a meruailous great hope, and thought in his mynde thus: if he so wel
+recompensed the radysshe rote, that was gyuen of a rusticall man, howe
+moche more largely wyl he recompence suche an horse, that is gyuen of me
+that am of the courte? Whan euery man had sayde hys mynde, as though the
+kynge had counsayled aboute a great weyghty matter, and that they hadde
+longe fedde the pycke thanke with vayne hope, at last the kyng sayd: I
+remembre nowe, what we shal gyue hym; and so he called one of his
+lordes, and badde hym in his eare go fetche hym that that he founde in
+his chambre (and told hym the place where) featly[179] folded vp in
+sylke. Anone he came and brought the radysshe roote, and euen as it was
+folded vp, the kyng with his owne hand gaue it to the courtier, sayenge:
+we suppose your horse is well recompensed with this iewell, for it hath
+cost vs a thousande crownes. The courtier went his way neuer so glad,
+and whan he had vnfolded it, he found none other treasure but the
+radysshe rote almoste wethered.[180]
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[176] This old phrase is still in colloquial use. "A good sight better,"
+or a "great sight more," are well understood terms among us, though
+vulgar.
+
+[177] A rare word as a verb, though the adjective _peakish_ is common
+enough in old English writers. By _peaked_ we must understand "stole" or
+got admission by stealth.
+
+[178] A literal rendering of the Fr. _mignon_, delicate or dainty.
+
+[179] Neatly.
+
+[180] The germ of this and the fallowing story may be found in Lane's
+_Arabian Tales and Anecdotes_, p. 112.
+
+
+
+
+¶ _Of an other picke-thanke, and the same kinge._ xxiiii.
+
+
+¶ Vpon a time a seruant of the fornamed kinges, seynge a louce crepe
+vpon the kynges robe, kneled downe and put vp his hande, as though he
+wolde do somwhat, and as the kynge bowed hym self a lyttell, the man
+toke the louce, and conueyed her away priuely. The kynge asked hym what
+it was, but he was ashamed to shew. So moche the kyng instanted[181]
+hym, that at laste he confessed hit was a louce. Oh! quod the kynge, it
+is good lucke: for this declareth me to be a man. For that kynde of
+vermyne principally greueth mankynde, specially in youth. And so the
+kynge commanded to gyue him fyfty crownes for his labour.
+
+Nat longe after, an other, seynge that the kynge gaue so good a rewarde
+for so smalle a pleasure, came and kneled downe, and put vp his hande,
+and made as though he toke and conueyed some what priuelye awaye. And
+whan the kynge constrayned him to tell what hit was, with moche
+dissemblyng shamfastnes he sayd, hit was a flee. The kynge, perceyuinge
+his dissimulation, sayd to him: what, woldest thou make me a dogge? and
+so for his fifty crownes, that he prooled[182] for, the kinge commaunded
+to gyue him fiftye strypes.
+
+Wherby ye may note, that there is great difference betwene one that doth
+a thynge of good will and mynde, and hym that doth a thynge by crafte
+and dissymulation; whiche thinge this noble and moste prudent prince
+well vnderstode. And one ought to be well ware[183] howe he hath to do
+with highe princes and their busynes. And if _Ecclesiast[es]_ forbid,
+that one shall mynde none yll to a kynge, howe shulde any dare speake
+yll?
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[181] Importuned.
+
+
+
+
+¶ _Of Thales the astronomer that fell in a ditch._ xxv.
+
+
+¶ Laertius wryteth,[184] that Thales Milesius wente oute of his house
+vpon a time to beholde the starres for a certayn cause: and so longe he
+went backeward, that he fell plumpe in to a ditche ouer the eares;
+wherfore an olde woman, that he kepte in his house laughed and sayde to
+him in derision: O Thales, how shuldest thou haue knowlege in heuenly
+thinges aboue, and knowest nat what is here benethe vnder thy feet?
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[182] Prowled.
+
+[183] Careful.
+
+[184] Diogenes Laertius (_Lives of the Philosophers_, translated by
+Yonge. 1853, p. 18).
+
+
+
+
+¶ _Of the astronomer that theues robbed._ xxvi.
+
+
+¶ As an astronomer that satte vpon a tyme in the market place of a
+certayne towne, and toke vpon him to dyuine and to shewe what theyr
+fortunes and chaunses shuld be, that came to him: there came a felow and
+tolde him (as it was in deede) that theues had broken in to his house,
+and had borne away all that he hadde. These tidinges greued him so sore,
+that all hevy and sorowefullye he rose vp and wente his waye. Whan the
+felowe sawe him do so, he sayde: O thou folissh and madde man, goest
+thou aboute to dyuine other mennes matters, and arte ignorant in thine
+owne?
+
+This tale (besyde the blynde errour of suche foles) toucheth them, that
+handell theyr owne matters lewdly, and wyll entermedle in other mens.
+And Cicero saythe: That wyse man, that can nat profytte him selfe, hath
+but lytell wysdome.
+
+
+
+
+¶ _Of the plough man that sayde his pater noster._ xxvii.
+
+
+¶ A rude vplandisshe ploughman, on a tyme[185] reprouynge a good holy
+father sayd, that he coude saye all his prayers with a hole mynde and
+stedfaste intention, without thinkyng on any other thynge. To whome the
+good holy man sayde: Go to, saye one _Pater noster_ to the ende, and
+thynke on none other thinge, and I wyll gyue the myn horse. That shall I
+do, quod the plough man, and so began to saye: _Pater noster qui es in
+celis_, tyll he came to _Sanctificetur nomen tuum_, and than his thought
+moued him to aske this question: yea, but shal I haue the sadil and
+bridel withal? And so he lost his bargain.
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[185] The orig. reads _whiche on a tyme_. I have therefore ventured to
+strike out the unnecessary word.
+
+
+
+
+¶ _Of him that dreamed he fonde golde._ xxviii.
+
+
+¶ There was a man, that sayde in company vpon a tyme, howe he dreamed on
+a nyghte, that the deuyll ledde him in to a felde to dygge for golde.
+Whan he had founde the golde, the deuyll sayde: Thou canste not carye
+hit a waye nowe, but marke the place, that thou mayste fetche hit an
+other tyme. What marke shall I make, quod the man? S**** ouer hit, quod
+the deuyl: for that shall cause euery man to shonne the place, and for
+the hit shall be a speciall knowlege. The man was contente, and dyd so.
+So whan he awaked oute of his slepe, he parceyued, that he had foule
+defyled his bedde. Thus betwene stynke and dyrte vp he rose, and made
+him redy to go forth: and laste of all he put on his bonette, wherin
+also the same nighte the catte hadde s***; For great stinke wherof he
+threwe away his couer knaue,[186] and was fayne to wasshe his
+busshe.[187] Thus his golden dreame tournedde all to dyrte.[188]
+
+Tibullus sayth: Dreames in the nyght begylen, and cause fearefull myndes
+to drede thynges that neuer shalbe. But yet Claudian sayeth: Dreames in
+sondrye wyse fygured gyueth warnynge of vnluckye thynges. And Valerius
+Maximus wryteth that, as Hamylcar besiged the cyte of Syracuse, he
+dreamed, that he harde a voyce saye, that he the nexte daye shulde suppe
+with in the cyte. Wherfore he was ioyfull, as thoughe the victorye from
+heuen had ben to him promised. And so [he] apparayled his hooste to
+assaute the towne: in whiche assaute he chaunced to be taken in his
+lodgynge by them of the cyte, and so bounden lyke a prysoner, they ledde
+hym in to theyr cite. Thus he more disceyued by hope, than by his dreme,
+supped that nyghte within the citie as a prisoner, and nat as a
+conquerour, as he presumed in his mynde. Alcibiades also hadde a
+certayne vision in the nyghte of his miserable ende.
+
+This tale sheweth that dreames sometyme come to passe by one meane or
+other. And he that desyreth to knowe more of dreames wrytten in our
+englysshe tonge, let hym rede the tale of the nounnes preste, that G.
+Chauser wrote: and for the skeles howe dreames and sweuens[189] are
+caused, the begynnynge of the Boke of Fame, the whiche the sayde Chauser
+compiled with many an other matter full of wysedome.
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[186] A cant term for a bonnet.
+
+[187] Thick bushy hair.
+
+[188] See Brand's _Popular Antiquities_, ed. 1849, iii. 132, where Brand
+cites Melton's _Astrologaster, or the Figure-Caster_, 1620, to show that
+to dream of the devil and of gold was deemed an equally lucky portent.
+To dream of gold is also pronounced a happy omen in the _Countryman's
+Counsellor_. 1633.
+
+
+
+
+¶ _Of the crakynge yonge gentyll man, that wold ouerthrowe his enmyes a
+myle of._ xxix.
+
+
+¶ A yonge gentyl man in a cite that was beseged, rebuked the other and
+called them cowherdes, bycause they wolde nat issue out and fight with
+their enmyes. So he armed at all peces lepte on horsebacke, and galopte
+out at the gates. Whan he, thus crakynge,[190] hadde prycked on aboute
+a myle, he encountred with manye, that retourned home from the
+skyrmysshe sore wounded; wherfore he beganne to ryde a softer pace. But
+whan he harde the hydous noyse, and sawe a myle frome hym howe fyerslye
+they of the citie and theyr enmyes assayled eche other, he stode euen
+stylle. Than one, that harde his crakynge before, asked hym, why he rode
+no nere[r] to fyghte with their enmyes. He answered and sayde: Trewly I
+fynde nat my selfe so able and stronge in armes, that my harte wyl serue
+me to ryde any nere[r] to them.
+
+Wherby may be noted, that nat onely the force of the mynde, but also of
+the body, shulde be wel consydred. Nor one shulde nat bragge and bost to
+do more than he maye welle atcheue. There be many, whiche with their
+wordes slee[191] theyr enmyes a great waye of, but whan they se theyr
+enmye, they put on a sure breste plate and a gorget of a myle of
+lengthe. Plutarche wryteth that, whan Memnon made warre for Darius
+agaynste Alexander, he harde one of his souldyours crake and speake many
+yll wordes agaynst Alexander; wherfore he rapte hym on the pate with a
+iauelynge, sayenge: I hyred the to fyght agaynste Alexandre, and not to
+crake and prate.
+
+Otherwhyle sayth Quintus Curtius, the couetousnes of glory and
+insaciable desire of fame causeth, that we thynke nothing ouermoche or
+ouer hard. But Salust saith: Before a man enterprise any feate, he ought
+fyrst to counsayle: and after to go in hande there with nat
+heedlynge[192] nor slowly.
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[189] Dreams. Thus Chaucer, in the opening lines of the _House of Fame_
+(called in the old editions and in the present text the _Boke of Fame_),
+says:--
+
+"God turne us every dreme to goode! For hyt is wonder thing, be the
+roode, To my wytte, what causeth swevenes Eyther on morwes, or on
+evenes."
+
+For examples of the later use of the word, see Nares by Halliwell and
+Wright, art. _Sweven_.
+
+[190] Boasting.
+
+[191] Singer reads _flee_.
+
+
+
+
+¶ _Of hym that fell of a tre and brake his rybbe._ xxx.
+
+
+¶ There was a husbande man whiche, on a tyme, as he clymbed a tree to
+gette downe the frute, felle and brake a rybbe in his syde. To comforte
+hym there came a very merye man whiche, as they talked to gether sayde,
+he wolde teache hym suche a rule that, if he wold folowe it, he shuld
+neuer falle from tree more. Marye, sayde the hurte man, I wolde ye hadde
+taught me that rule before I felle: neuer the lesse, bycause it may
+happe to profyte me in tyme to come, lette me here what it is. Than the
+other sayd: Take hede, that thou go neuer downe faster than thou wentest
+vp, but discende as softly as thou clymmest vp; and so thou shalt neuer
+fall.
+
+By this tale ye may note, that abidyng and slownesse otherwhile are
+good and commendable, specially in those thynges, wherin spede and
+hastines cause great hurte and damage. Seneca saythe: A sodayne thynge
+is nought.
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[192] Headlong.
+
+
+
+
+¶ _Of the frier that brayde in his sermon._ xxxi.
+
+
+¶ A fryer, that preached to the people on a tyme, wolde otherwhyle crie
+out a loude (as the maner of some fooles is) whiche brayenge dyd so moue
+a woman that stode herynge his sermone, that she wepte. He, parceyuyng
+that, thought in his mynde her conscience being prycked with his wordes
+had caused her to wepe. Wherfore, whan his sermon was done, he called
+the woman to hym, and asked what was the cause of her wepynge, and
+whether his wordes moued her to wepe or nat? Forsoth, mayster (sayde
+she), I am a poure wydowe: and whan myne husbande dyed, he lefte me but
+one asse, whiche gotte parte of my lyuynge, the whiche asse the wolues
+haue slayne: and nowe, whan I hard your hyghe voyce, I remembred my
+selye asse: for so he was wonte to braye bothe nyghte and daye. And
+this, good mayster, caused me to wepe. Thus the lewde brayer, rather
+than preacher, confuted with his folysshenes, wente his way; which,
+thinkynge for his brayenge lyke an asse to be reputed for the beste
+preacher, deserued well to here hym selfe to be compared to an asse.
+
+  For truely one to suppose hym selfe wyse
+  Is vnto folysshenes the very fyrste gryce.[193]
+
+
+
+
+¶ _The oration of the ambassadour sent to Pope Urban._ xxxii.
+
+
+¶ Out of the towne of Parusyn were sente vpon a tyme thre ambassadours
+vnto our holye father Pope Urban, whom they founde sycke in his bed.
+Before whose holynes one of the sayde ambassadours had a longe and a
+tedious oration, that he had deuysed by the way; the whiche, er it was
+ended, ryght sore anoyed the popes holynesse. Whan he hadde all sayde,
+the pope asked: Is there anye thynge elles? An other of the thre,
+percevuynge howe greately the ambagious[194] tale greued the popes
+holynes to here it out, sayde: Moost holy father, this is all the
+effece, and if your holynes spede vs nat forthewith, my felowe shall
+telle his tale agayne. At whiche sayenge the pope laughed, and caused
+the ambassadours to be spedde incontinent.
+
+By this tale one maye lerne, that superfluous wordes ought dilygently to
+be auoyded, specially where a matter is treated before an hygh prince.
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[193] Step, from the Latin _grassus_ or _gressus_.
+
+[194] Circumlocutory.--SINGER.
+
+
+
+
+¶ _Of the ambassadour sent to the prince Agis._ xxxiii.
+
+
+¶ Nat moch vnlike the forsayd tale, Plutarche reciteth that, whan the
+ambassadour of the Abderites had at laste ended a longe tale to the
+prynce Agis, he asked what answere he shulde make to them that sent him?
+Say vnto them (quod the prince), whan thou comest home, that all the
+longe tyme that thou didest dispende in tellynge thy tale, I sate styll
+and harde the paciently.
+
+
+
+
+¶ _The answere of Cleomenes to the Samiens ambassadour._ xxxiiii.
+
+
+¶ Plutarche rehersethe also, that what tyme an ambassadour, that was
+sente frome the Samiens, had made a longe oration vnto Cleomines, to
+perswade him to make warre to Polycrates, he answered the ambassadour on
+this maner of wyse: I remembre nat, what thou sayddest in the begynnyng
+of thy tale, and therfore I vnderstand nat the myddis; and thy
+conclusion pleaseth me nat.
+
+Wherby we may perceyue, that the noble wyse men loue fewe wordes. And
+as the Rhetoriciens say: amonge the vices of an oratoure, there is none
+more hurtefull than the superfluous heape of wordes.
+
+
+
+
+¶ _Of the wyse man Piso and his seruant._ xxxv.
+
+
+¶ A certayn wise man called Piso, to auoyde greuous ianglynge,
+commaunded that his seruauntes shulde saye nothinge, but answere to that
+that thei were demaunded, and no more. Vpon a daye the sayde Piso made a
+dyner, and sente a seruaunt to desire Clodius the Consull to come and
+dyne with him. Aboute the houre of diner al the guestes came saue
+Clodius, for whom they taryed tyll hit was almoste nyght, and euer sente
+to loke if he came. At laste Piso sayde to his seruaunt: diddest thou
+byd the Consull come to dyner? Yes, truely, sayde he. Why cometh he nat
+than, quod Piso? Mary, quod the seruaunt, he sayde he wolde nat.
+Wherfore toldest me nat so incontinent, quod Piso? Bycause, quod the
+seruaunt, ye dyd nat aske me.
+
+By this tale, seruauntes may lerne to kepe theyr maisters biddyng: but
+yet I aduise maysters therby to take hede, howe they make an
+iniunction.
+
+
+
+
+¶ _Of the marchant that made a wager with his lord._ xxxvi.
+
+
+¶ A certayne marchaunt, before his lorde that he was subiecte vnto,
+amonge other thynges praysed his wyfe, and sayde, that he neuer harde
+her lette a *****. Wherat the lorde meruailed, and sayd it was
+impossible: and so layde and ventred a souper with the marchant, that
+before thre monethes were ended, he shulde here her lette a ***** or
+twayne. On the morowe, the lorde came to the marchaunt, and borowed
+fyfty crownes, the whiche he promysed trewely to repay agayne within
+viij dayes after. The marchaunt ryght sore agaynst his wylle lent it,
+and thoughtfully abode, tyll the daye of payment was come: and than he
+wente to his lorde and requyred his moneye. The lorde, makynge as though
+he had hadde more nede than before, desyred the marchaunt to lende hym
+other fyftye crownes, and promysed to paye all within a monethe. And all
+though the good man denyed hit longe, yet for feare lest he shulde lose
+the first somme, with moche grutchynge he lente hym the other fyfty
+crownes. And so wente home to his house ryghte heuye and sorowfull in
+his mynde. Thus thynkynge and dredynge diuers thynges, he passed many
+nyghtes awaye without slepe. And as he laye wakyng, he harde his wyfe
+nowe and than rappe out *****. At the monethes' ende the lorde sente for
+the marchant, and asked him, if he neuer sythe harde his wyfe let a
+*****. The marchant aknoweleginge his folye, answered thus: Forsothe,
+syr, if I shulde for euery ***** paye a souper, all my goodes and landes
+wolde nat suffice therto. After whiche answere, the lorde payde the
+marchant his money, and the marchant payde the souper.
+
+Here by ye maye se, that many thinges passe by them that slepe, and it
+is an old sayenge: He that slepeth, byteth no body. By this tale ye may
+note also that they, the whiche fortune swetelye enbraceth, take theyr
+reste and slepe soundely; And contrarye wyse, they that bene oppressed
+with aduersite, watche sorowefullye whan they shulde slepe. This man,
+which for a very folisshe thing preysed his wyfe, afterwarde whan a
+lyttell care beganne to crepe aboute his stomacke, he perceiued that
+faute in her ryght great. The morall boke, called Cato,[195] counsayleth
+vs to watche for the more parte: For moche slomber and slepe is the
+norisshinge of vice.
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[195] Vide supra, p. 22.
+
+
+
+
+¶ _Of the friere that gaue scrowes agaynst the pestilence._ xxxvii.
+
+
+¶ Amonge the limitours[196] in the cyte of Tiburtine (Tivoli), was a
+certayne friere, which vsed to preache about in the villages to men of
+the countrey: and for as moch as they greately suspecte[d] that a plague
+of pestilence shulde come amonge them, he promysed eche of them a lytell
+scrowe:[197] which he sayde was of suche a vertue, that who so euer bare
+hit hangynge aboute his necke xv dayes shulde nat dye of the pestilence.
+The folisshe people trustynge herevpon, euerye one after his power gaue
+him money for a scrowe; and with a threde of a mayden's spynninge, they
+hanged hit aboute their neckes. But he charged them that they shuld nat
+open it tyll the xv dayes ende: for, if they did, he sayde hit had no
+vertue. So whan the frire hadde gathered moche moneye, he wente his
+waye. Soone after (as the desyre of folkes is to knowe newes) the sayd
+scrowes were redde, in which was writen in Italian speche:
+
+  _Donna, si fili et cadeti lo fuso,
+  Quando ti pieghi, tieni lo culo chiuso._[198]
+
+Which is to saye in englysshe: woman, if thou spynne, and thy spyndell
+falle awaye, whan thou stoupest to reache for him, holde thyne ****
+close. He sayde, that this passed all the preceptes and medicines of the
+phisitians.
+
+By whiche tale one may lerne, that all is nat gospell that suche
+wanderers about saye, nor euerye word to be beleued: For often tymes:--
+
+  _Gelidus jacet anguis in herbâ._
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[196] A word used by Chaucer. It signifies a person licensed to preach
+and beg within a certain _limit_. There was an order of mendicant
+friars.
+
+"Lordings, ther is in Engelond, I gesse, A mersschly land called
+Holdernesse, In which there went a lymytour aboute, To preche and eek to
+begge, it is no doubte."
+
+CHAUCER'S _Sompnour's Tale_; Works, ed. Bell. ii. 103.
+
+[197] Scrowl.
+
+
+
+
+¶ _Of the phisitian, that vsed to write bylles ouer eue._ xxxviii.
+
+
+¶ A certayne phisitian of Italy vsed ouer night to write for sondry
+diseasis diuers billes, called resceitz, and to put them in a bag al to
+gether. In the morning whan the vrins (as the custome is) were brought
+to him, and he [was] desired to showe some remedy, he wolde put his hand
+in to the bag, and at al auentures take oute a bille. And in takinge
+oute the bille he wolde say to him that came to seke remedye in their
+language: _Prega dio te la mandi bona_. That is to saye: Praye God to
+sende the a good one.
+
+By this tale ye may se, that miserable is their state whiche fortune
+muste helpe and nat reason. Suche a phisitian on a tyme sayde to
+Pausanias: Thou aylest nothinge. No, sayde he, I haue nat had to do with
+thy phisicke. And an other tyme a frende of his sayde: Syr, ye ought not
+to blame that phisitian: for his phisicke dyd you neuer hurte. Thou
+sayest trouthe, quod he: for, if I hadde proued his phisicke, I shulde
+nat nowe haue been alyue. And ageyne to an other that sayde: Syr, ye be
+an olde man, he answered: yea, thou were nat my phisitian. Such maner
+[of] checkes are to lyttell for the leude foles, that wyll practise
+phisicke, before they knowe what [be]longeth to theyr name.
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[198] In orig. and in Singer this is printed as prose, according to the
+usual practice. The same is the case with the line below.
+
+
+
+
+¶ _Of hym that wolde confesse hym by writinge._ xxxix.
+
+
+¶ Ther was a yonge man on a tyme, which wrote a longe lybell[199] of his
+synnes; whether he did hit for hypocrisy, folysshenesse, or oblyuion I
+can not say: and whan he shulde confesse him, he gaue hit to the
+confessour to rede: whiche confessor, beinge well lerned and experte in
+that busynes, parceyued hit wolde requyre a longe tyme to rede ouer:
+wherfore after a fewe wordes he sayde: I assoyle the frome all the
+synnes conteyned in this lybell. Yea, but what shall my penaunce be,
+quod the yonge man? Nothinge els, sayde the confessour, but that thou
+shalte the space of a moneth rede this lybell ouer euery daye vii tymes.
+And all thoughe he sayde it was impossyble for him to do, yet the
+confessour wolde nat chaunge his sentence. By which mery subtyle answere
+he confuted the breble brable[200] of the folysshe felowe.
+
+By this tale ye may perceyue that he that occupyeth this office, that is
+to saye, a confessour, ought to be discrete, prudent, and well lernedde.
+This confessour knewe well the ordinaunce of holye churche: whiche
+wylleth confession to be made with the mouthe, and nat by wrytynge.
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[199] Narrative or account. In its original signification, libel merely
+implied _libellus_, a little book or volume, a pamphlet, but not
+necessarily one of an offensive kind.
+
+
+
+
+¶ _Of the hermite of Padowe._ xl.
+
+
+¶ An hermite of Padow,[201] that was reputed for an holy man, vnder the
+semblaunce of confession, entyced many of the notablest wyues of the
+towne vnto folye and lewednes. So at last, whan his offence was
+dyuulgate and knowen (for hypocrisy can nat longe be hid) he was taken
+by the prouost, and brought before the prince of Padowe, duke Francis
+the vii of that name, whiche for his disporte sent for his secretarye,
+to wryte the womens names, that the hermit had layen by. Whan the
+hermyte had rehersed manye of the dukes seruantes wyues, and the
+secretarye merely laughenge had writen them, he semed as he had al said.
+Be there any mo, sayde the duke? No forsothe, said the hermite. Tel vs
+trouth, quod the secretarie, who be mo, or els thou shalte be sharply
+punisshed. Than the hermyte sighinge said: Go to, write in thin owne
+wife amonge the nomber of the other; which saienge so sore greued the
+secretarye, that the penne felle out of his hande and the duke laughed
+right hartily, and sayde it was well done: that he that with so great
+pleasure harde the fautes of other mennes wyues, shulde come in the same
+nombre.
+
+By this ieste we may lerne, that one ought nat to reioyce at an others
+grefe or hurte: For lytell woteth a man what hangeth ouer his owne
+heed.
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[200] Silly and licentious talk. Taylor the Water-Poet, at the end of
+his _Wit and Mirth_, 1622 (_Works_, 1630, folio I. p. 200), uses the
+expression _Ribble-rabble of Gossips_, which seems to be a phrase of
+very similar import.
+
+[201] Padua.
+
+
+
+
+¶ _Of the Uplandysshe man, that sawe the kynge._ xli.
+
+
+¶ An vplandysshe man, nourysshed in the woddes, came on a tyme to the
+citie, whanne all the stretes were full of people, and the common voyce
+amonge them was: The kynge cometh. This rurall manne, moued with
+noueltie of that voyce, had great desyre to se, what that multitude
+houed[202] to beholde. Sodaynly the kynge, with many nobuls and states
+before hym, came rydynge royally. Than the people all about stedfastly
+behelde the kynge and cryed aloude: God saue the kynge: God saue the
+kynge. This villayne[203] herynge them crye so, sayde: O where is the
+kynge, where is the kynge? Than one, shewynge hym the kynge, sayde:
+yonder is he, that rydeth upon the goodly whyte horse. Is that the kyng,
+quod the villayne? what, thou mockest me, quod he; me thinke that is a
+man in a peynted garment.
+
+By this tale ye may perceyue (as Lycurgus proued by experience) that
+nourysshynge, good bryngynge vp and exercyse ben more apte to leade
+folke to humanite and the doynge of honest thynges than Nature her
+selfe. They for the mooste part are noble, free, and vertuous, whiche in
+their youthe bene well nourysshed vp, and vertuously endoctryned.
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[202] Hovered. This form of the word is used by Gower and Spenser. See
+Nares (ed. 1859), voce _Hove_.
+
+[203] Rustic.
+
+
+
+
+¶ _Of the courtier that bad the boy holde his horse._ xlii.
+
+
+¶ A courtier on a tyme that alyghted of his horse at an Inde[204] gate
+sayde to a boye that stode therby: Ho, syr boye, holde my horse. The
+boye, as he had ben aferde, answered: O maister, this a fierce horse; is
+one able to holde him? Yes, quod the courtier, one may holde hym well
+inough. Well, quod the boye, if one be able inough, than I pray you
+holde hym your owne selfe.[205]
+
+
+
+
+¶ _Of the deceytfull scriuener._ xliii.
+
+
+¶ A certayne scriuener, whiche hadde but a bare lyuynge by his crafte,
+imagyned howe he myght gette money. So he came to a yonge man, and asked
+hym if he were payde x li. whiche a certayne man, that was deade,
+borowed and ought to paye his father in tyme paste. The yonge manne
+sayde there was no such duetye[206] owynge in his father's name, that
+he knewe of. It is of trouthe, quod the scriuener: for here is the
+oblygacyon therof, whiche I made my selfe. He prouoked the yonge manne
+so moche, that he gaue hym money for the oblygation, and before the
+mayre he required the duetie. His sonne, that was named to be dettour,
+sayde playnely, that his father neuer borowed money: for if he had, it
+wolde appere by his bokes, after the marchantes' maner. And forth with
+he went to the scriuener and sayde to him, that he was a false man to
+write a thing that neuer was done. Sonne, sayde the scriuener, thou
+wotteste nat what was done that tyme: whan thy father borowed that somme
+of money, thou were nat borne: but he payde it agayne within thre
+monthes after, I made the quittance therof my selfe: wherby thy father
+is discharged. So the yonge man was faine to gyue hym money for the
+quittaunce. And whan he had shewed the quittaunce he was discharged of
+that greuance. Thus by his faire fraude he scraped money from them
+bothe.
+
+By this tale ye may se, that the children in this our tyme be very
+prudent to get money.
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[204] Inn.
+
+[205] See _Introduction_ vi.
+
+[206] Debt.
+
+
+
+
+¶ _Of hym that saide he beleued his wyfe better than other, that she was
+chaste._ xliiii.
+
+
+¶ A Certayne man, whose wyfe (as the voyce wente) was nat very chaste of
+her bodye, was warned of his frendes to loke better to the matter. The
+man wente home and sharpely rebuked his wyfe, and told her betwene them
+bothe, what his frendes had sayde. She, knowynge that periurye was no
+greatter offence than aduoutry,[207] with wepynge and swerynge defended
+her honestie: and bare her husbande on hande, that they feyned those
+tales for enuye that they hadde to se them lyue so quietly. With those
+wordes her husbande was content and pleased. So yet an other tyme
+agayne, his frendes warned him of his wyfe, and badde hym rebuke and
+chastice her. To whome he sayd: I pray you trouble me no more with suche
+wordes. Telle me, whether knoweth better my wiue's fautes, you or she?
+They sayde: She. And she (quod he), whom I beleue better than you all,
+sayth playnly, that ye lye. This was well and wysely done: For one
+ought nat to gyue light credence to those thinges, wherin resteth
+perpetuall grefe of mynde.
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[207] Adultery. The word occurs in Bacon's Essays. In his _Essay of
+Empire_, the writer says:--"This kind of danger is then to be feared
+chiefly when the wives have plots for the raising of their own children,
+or else that they be _advoutresses_." Sir Simonds D'Ewes, in his account
+of the murder of Sir Thomas Overbury, in 1613, describes the Countess of
+Essex as "Somerset's _advoutress_" (_Autobiography and Correspondence of
+Sir Simonds D'Ewes_, ed. Halliwell, I. 74).
+
+
+
+
+¶ _Of hym that payde his dette with crienge bea._ xlv.
+
+
+¶ There was a man on a tyme, which toke as moche ware of a marchaunt, as
+drewe to fyftie li. and riottously playde and spente the same awaye
+within shorte space. So whanne the day of payemente came, he hadde
+nother[208] moneye nor ware to paye: wherfore he was arrested, and muste
+come before the Justyce; whan he sawe there was none other remedye, but
+that he shulde be constrayned eyther to pay the dette, or else to go to
+prison. Wherfore he went to a subtyle man of lawe, and shewed to hym his
+matter, and desyred of hym[209] his counsayle and helpe. What wylt thou
+gyue me (quod the man of lawe), if I rydde the of this dette? By my
+faythe, sayde the dettour, v marke: and lo, here it is redy; as sone as
+I am quitte, ye shall haue hit. Good inough, quod the man of lawe; but
+thou muste be ruled by my counsaile, and thus do. Whan thou comest
+before the Justice, what som euer be saye[210] vnto the, loke that thou
+answere to nothing, but cry bea styl: and lette me alone with the reste.
+Content, quod he.
+
+So, whan they were com before the Justice, he said to the dettour: doste
+thou owe this marchant this somme of money or no? Bea! quod he. What
+beste! (quod the Justice) answere to thy plaint, orels thou wilte be
+condemned. Bea! quod he agayne. Than his man of lawe stode forth, and
+sayd: Sir, this man is but an ideot. Who wolde beleue that this
+marchaunt, whiche is both wyse and subtyle, wolde truste this ideot,
+that can speke neuer a redy worde, of xl peny worth of ware? and so with
+suche reasons he perswaded the Justyce to caste the marchaunt in his
+owne action. So whan the sentence was gyuen, the man of lawe drewe the
+dettour asyde, and said: Lo, howe sayst thou nowe? Haue not I done well
+for the? Thou arte clere quitte of the dette that was demanded of the:
+wherfore giue me my money, and God be with the. Bea! quod he. What, quod
+the laweer, thou nedest not to crie bea no longer; thy matter is
+dispatched; all is at a poynt, there resteth nothynge but to gyue me my
+wages, that thou promysyddest. Bea! quod he agayne. I saye, quod the man
+of lawe, crie bea no longer nowe, but gyue me my money. Bea! quod he.
+Thus the man of lawe, neyther for fayre nor foule, coulde gette any
+other thinge of his client but Bea: wherfore all angerly he departed,
+and went his waye.
+
+By this tale ye may perceyue, that they whiche be the inuenters and
+diuisers of fraude and disceit, ben often times therby deceyued them
+selfe. And he, that hath hyd a snare to attrap an other with, hath hym
+selfe ben taken therin.
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[208] An old form of _neither_.
+
+[209] In orig. _desired him of_.
+
+[210] Orig. reads _sayd_.
+
+
+
+
+¶ _Of the woman that appeled fro kyng Philip to kynge Philippe._ xlvi.
+
+
+¶ A woman, whiche [was] gyltlesse, on a tyme was condempned by kynge
+Philippe of Macedone, whan he was not sobre: wherfore she sayde: I
+appele. Whether,[211] quod the kynge? To kynge Philippe, quod she; but
+that is whan he is more sobre and better aduysed; whiche sayenge caused
+the kynge to loke better on the matter, and to do her ryght.
+
+This wryteth Val. Maximus. But Plutarche sayth, it was a man, and kynge
+Philip was halfe a slepe, whan he gaue sentence.
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[211] Whither.
+
+
+
+
+¶ _Of the olde woman, that prayde for the welfare of the tyrant Denise._
+xlvii.
+
+
+¶ What tyme Denyse[212] the tyranne raygned, for his cruelte and
+intollerable dealynge he was hated of all the[213] cite of Syracuse, and
+euery body wysshed his dethe, saue one olde woman, the whiche euery
+morning praid God to saue him in good life and helth. Whan he vnderstode
+that she so dyd, he meruailed greatly at her vndeserued beniuolence:
+wherfore he sente for her, and asked, why and howe he had deserued, that
+she prayde for hym? She answered and sayd: I do it nat with out a cause.
+For, whan I was a mayde, we had a tyran raignynge ouer us, whose death I
+greatly desyred; whan he was slayne, there succided an other yet more
+cruell than he, out of whose gouernance to be also deliuered I thought
+it a hygh benifyte. The thyrde is thy selfe, that haste begon to raygne
+ouer vs more importunately[214] than either of the other two. Thus,
+fearynge leest, whan thou arte gone, a worse shuld succede and reigne
+ouer vs, I praye God dayly to preserue the in helthe.
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[212] Dionysius.
+
+[213] Orig. reads _che_.
+
+[214] _Importunate_ seems to be used here in the sense of _oppressive_
+or _overbearing_.
+
+
+
+
+¶ _Of the phisitian Eumonus._ xlviii.
+
+
+¶ A phisitian called Eumonus tolde a sicke man, that laye in great
+payne, that he coulde nat scape, but he muste nedes dye of that disese.
+This sicke man within a whyle after, nat by the phisitians helpe, but by
+the wille of God, guerysshed[215] and was holle of his disease: howe be
+hit, he was verye lowe and bare[216] broughte. And as he walked forth on
+a daye, he met the same phisytian, whiche, doubtynge whether hit were
+the same sycke man or nat, sayd: Arte nat thou Gaius? yes, truelye, quod
+he. Arte thou alyue or deed, sayde the phisitian? I am deed, quod he.
+What doste thou here than, said the phisitian? Bycause, quod he, that I
+haue experience of many thinges, God hath commanded me that I shulde
+come and take vp all the phisitians that I can get, to him. Whiche
+sayenge made Eumonus as pale as asshes for fere. Than Gaius sayd to him:
+drede thou nat, Eumonus, thoughe I sayd all phisitians: for there is no
+man that hath wytte, that wylle take the for one.
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[215] Fr. "guerir," to heal.
+
+[216] Poor, or, perhaps, poorly.
+
+
+
+
+¶ _Of Socrates and his scoldinge wyfe._ xlix.
+
+
+¶ Laertius wryteth, that the wyse man Socrates had a coursed scoldinge
+wyfe, called Xantippe, the whiche on a daye after she hadde alto[217]
+chydde him powred a * * * * * potte on his heed. He, takynge all
+paciently, sayde: dyd nat I tell you that, whan I herde Xantippe thonder
+so fast, that it wolde rayne anone after?
+
+Wherby ye maye se, that the wyser a man is, the more pacience he taketh.
+The wyse poet Virgil sayth: all fortune by suffrance must be ouercome.
+
+
+
+
+¶ _Of the phisitian that bare his paciente on honde, he had eaten an
+asse._ l.
+
+
+¶ A Phisitian, which had but smalle lerning, vsed whan he came to viset
+his pacientes to touche the pulce; and if any appayred, he wolde lay the
+blame on the paciente, and beare him on hande,[218] that he did eate
+fygges, apples, or some other thinge that he forbade: and bicause the
+pacientes other whyle confessed the same, they thought he had ben a
+very connynge man. His seruante hadde great maruayle, howe he parceyued
+that, and desyred his mayster to telle hym, whether he knewe hit by
+touching of the pulce, orels by some other hygher knowlege. Than sayde
+his mayster: for the good seruice that thou haste done me, I wyll open
+to the this secrete point. Whan I come in to the pacientes chamber, I
+loke al a bout: and, if I spye in the flore shales,[219] parynge of
+chese, of aples, or of peares, or any other scrappes, anone I
+coniecte,[220] that the paciente hath eaten thereof. And so to th' ende
+I wold be blameles, I lay the faute on theyr mysdiettynge.
+
+Nat longe after, the same seruaunte toke on hym to practise physike,
+whyche in lyke maner blamed his pacientes, and sayde, that they kepte
+nat the diete that he gaue them; and he bare them on hande that they
+yete some what, wherof he sawe the scrappes in the flore. On a tyme he
+cam to a poure man of the countre, and promysed to make him hole, if he
+wolde be gouerned after him, and sa gaue him to drinke I wote nat what,
+and went his waye tyll on[221] the morowe. Whan he came agayne, he
+founde the man sicker than euer he was. The rude fole, nat knowinge the
+cause, behelde here and there aboute, and whan he coude se no skrappes
+nor parynges, he was sore troubled in his mynde. So at the last he
+espied a saddel vnder the bed. Than said he all a loude, that he hadde
+at length parceyued, howe the sicke man enpayred: he hath so excessiuely
+passed diete (quod he), that I wonder he is nat deed. How so, quod they?
+Marye, quod he, ye haue made him to eate an holle asse! Lo, where the
+saddell lyethe yet vnder the bedde. For he thoughte the saddell had be
+lefte of the asse, as bones are of fleshe. For which folysshnes he was
+well laughed to skorne and mocked.
+
+Thus as a good faythfull phisitian is worthy of greate honour: for
+truely of hym dependethe the greattest parte of mans helthe, so lyke
+wyse a folysshe and an vnlerned, that thynkethe to cure with wordes,
+that he ought to do with herbes, is nat onely worthy to be deryded and
+mocked, but also punysshed: for nothynge is more perillous.
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[217] Orig. reads _all to_. We take the true meaning to be _alto_, as
+above, _i.e._ in a loud key.
+
+[218] Delude him with the false notion. _To bear on hande_, I presume to
+be synonymous with _To bear in hande_ of the use of which among old
+authors several examples are furnished by Nares (edit. 1859).
+
+[219] Shells.
+
+[220] Conjecture.
+
+[221] Orig. and Singer read _an_.
+
+
+
+
+¶ _Of the inholders[222] wyfe and her ii louers._ li.
+
+
+¶ Nere vnto Florence dwelled an inholder, whos wyfe was nat very
+dangerous[223] of her tayle. Vpon a nyghte as she was a bed with one of
+her louers, there came a nother to haue lyen with her. Whan she herde
+him come vp the ladder, she met him, and bade hym go thence, for she
+hadde no tyme than to fulfylle his pleasure. But for all her wordes he
+wolde nat go a waye, but stylle preaced[224] to come in. So longe they
+stode chydinge, that the good man came vpon them, and asked them why
+they brauled so. The woman, nat unprouyded of a disceytefull answere,
+sayde: Syr, this man wolde come in per force to slee or myschiefe an
+other, that is fled in to our house for succoure, and hitherto I haue
+kepte him backe. Whan he, that was within, herde her saye so, he beganne
+to plucke vp his harte and say, he wold be a wreked[225] on him
+withoute. And he that was withoute made a face, as he wolde kylle him
+that was within. The folysshe man, her husbande, enquered the cause of
+theyr debate, and toke vpon him to sette them at one.[226] And so the
+good sely man spake and made the pese betwene them both; yea, and
+farther he gaue them a gallon of wyne, addynge to his wiues aduoutry the
+losse of his wine.
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[222] Innkeeper.
+
+[223] Jealous, careful.
+
+
+
+
+¶ _Of hym that healed franticke men._ lii.
+
+
+¶ There dwelled a man in Italy, whiche vsed to heale men, that were
+franticke, on this maner. He had within his house a gutter, or a
+ditche, full of water, wherin he wold put them, some to the middell
+legge, some to the knee, and some dypper, as they were madde.[227] So
+one that was well amended, and wente aboute the house to do one thinge
+and other for his meate, as he stode on a tyme at the gate, lokinge in
+to the strete, he sawe a gentyll man ryde by with a great sorte[228] of
+haukes and houndes; the which he called to him and said: you gentyll
+man, whither go ye? On huntynge, quod the gentyll man. What do you with
+all those kytes and dogges, quod he? They be haukes and houndes, quod
+the gentyll man. Wherfore kepe you them, quod the other? For my
+pleasure, quod the gentyl man. What costeth it you a yere to kepe them,
+quod the other? XL duckettes, quod the gentyll man. And what do they
+profytte you, quod he? Foure duckettes, quod the gentyll man. Gette the
+lyghtlye hense, quod the madde man: for, if my mayster come and fynde
+the here, he wyll put the in to the gutter vp to the throte.
+
+This tale toucheth suche young gentyll menne, that dispende ouer moche
+good[229] on haukes, houndes, and other trifils.
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[224] Pressed.
+
+[225] Wreaked, revenged.
+
+[226] Reconcile them.
+
+[227] _i. e._ according to their degree of madness. See _Introduction_,
+viii. ix.
+
+[228] Assortment.
+
+[229] Goods
+
+
+
+
+¶ _Of hym that sayde he was not worthy to open the gate to the kynge._
+liii.
+
+
+¶ As a kynge of Englande hunted on a tyme in the countie of Kent, he
+hapte to come rydynge to a great gate, wherby stode a husbande man of
+the countrey, to whom the kynge sayde: good felowe, putte open the gate.
+The man perceyuynge it was the kynge, sayde: no, and please your grace,
+I am nat worthy; but I wyll go fetche Mayster Couper, that dwelleth nat
+past ij myles hense, and he shal open to you the gate.
+
+
+
+
+¶ _Of mayster Uauasour and Turpin his man._ liiii.
+
+
+¶ Mayster Vauasour,[230] sometyme a iudge of Englande, hadde a seruaunt
+with hym called Turpin, whiche had done hym seruyce many yeres; wherfore
+he came vnto his mayster on a tyme, and sayde to hym on this wyse: syr,
+I haue done you seruice longe; wherfore I pray you gyue me somwhat to
+helpe me in myn old age. Turpin, quod he, thou sayst trouthe, and
+hereon I haue thought many a tyme; I wyll tell the, what thou shalt do.
+Nowe shortly I must ride vp to London; and, if thou wilt beare my costis
+thether, I wyll surely gyue the suche a thing, that shall be worth to
+the an hundred pounde. I am contente, quod Turpin. So all the waye as he
+rode Turpin payd his costis, tyll they came to theyr last lodginge: and
+there after souper he cam to his mayster and sayde: sir, I haue born
+your costes hitherto, as ye badde me; nowe, I pray you let me se, what
+thynge hit is, that shulde be worthe an hundred pounde to me. Dyd I
+promise the suche a thynge, quod his mayster? ye, forsoth, quod Turpin.
+Shewe me thy wrytinge, quod maister Vauasour. I haue none, sayde Turpin.
+Than thou arte lyke to haue nothinge, sayde his maister. And lerne this
+at me.[231] Whan sa euer thou makest a bargayne with a man, loke that
+thou take sure wrytynge, and be well ware howe thou makest a writynge to
+any man. This poynte hath vayled[232] me an hundred pounde in my dayes:
+and so hit may the. Whan Turpin sawe there was none other remedy, he
+helde him selfe contente. On the morowe Turpin taryed a lytelle behynde
+his mayster to reken with the hostes, where they laye, and of her he
+borowed so moche money on his maysters skarlet cloke, as drewe to[233]
+all the costes that they spente by the waye. Mayster Vauasour had nat
+ryden past ii myle but that it began to rayne; wherfore he calledde for
+his cloke.--His other seruauntes saide, Turpin was behinde, and had hit
+with him. So they houedde[234] vnder a tre, tylle Turpin ouer toke them.
+Whan he was come, Mayster Vauasour all angerly sayde: thou knaue, why
+comest thou nat aweye with my cloke? Syr, and please you, quod Turpin, I
+haue layde hit to gage[235] for your costes al the waye. Why, knaue,
+quod his mayster, diddiste thou nat promyse to beare my charges to
+London? Dyd I, quod Turpin? ye, quod his mayster, that thou diddest. Let
+se, shew me your wriytinge therof, quod Turpin; wherto his mayster, I
+thinke, answered but lytell.
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[230] This old Yorkshire family produced several persons eminent in the
+legal profession from the time of Henry I. downward; but the one here
+intended was, in all probability, John Vavasour, who became Recorder of
+York, I Henry VII., and was made a justice of the Common Pleas in
+August, 1490. See Foss's _Judges of England_, v. 78, 79.
+
+[231] Of me.
+
+[232] _i. e._ availed, has been worth £100 to me.
+
+
+
+
+¶ _Of hym that sought his wyfe agaynst the streme._ lv.
+
+
+¶ A man the[re] was whose wyfe, as she came ouer a bridg, fell in to the
+ryuer and was drowned; wherfore he wente and sought for her vpward
+against the stream, wherat his neighboures, that wente with hym,
+maruayled, and sayde he dyd nought, he shulde go seke her downeward with
+the streme. Naye, quod he, I am sure I shall neuer fynde her that waye:
+for she was so waywarde and so contrary to euery thynge, while she
+lyuedde, that I knowe very well nowe she is deed, she wyll go a gaynste
+the stream.
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[233] _i. e. came_ to, or amounted to, covered.
+
+[234] Hovered, _i. e._ halted for shelter.
+
+[235] Laid it in pledge.
+
+
+
+
+¶ _Of hym that at a skyrmyshe defended him with his feet._ lvi.
+
+
+¶ A lustye yonge gentyll man of France, that on a tyme was at a
+skyrmysshe, and defended him selfe valyantly with his feet, came in to
+the courte, in to a chambre amonge ladies, with a goodly ringe vpon his
+fynger, to whom a fayre lady sayde: syr, why weare ye that rynge vpon
+your fynger? Wherfore aske you, madame, quod he? Bycause (sayde she)
+your feet dyd you better seruice than your handes at the last skyrmysshe
+that ye were at.
+
+By this tale yonge men may lerne to beare them well and valyantly for
+drede of reproche. Better is it with worshyp to dye than with shame to
+lyue, albe hit that Demosthenes sayde: he that fleethe cometh agayne to
+batayle.
+
+
+
+
+¶ _Of hym that wolde gyue a songe for his dyner._ lvii.
+
+
+¶ There came a felowe on a tyme in to a tauerne, and called for meate.
+So, whan he had well dyned, the tauerner came to reken and to haue his
+money, to whom the felowe sayde, he had no money, but I wyll, quod he,
+contente you with songes. Naye, quod the tauerner, I nede no songes, I
+must haue money. Whye, quod the felowe, if I synge a songe to your
+pleasure, will ye nat than be contente? yes, quod the tauerner. So he
+began, and songe thre or foure balades, and asked if he were pleased?
+No, sayde the tauerner. Than he opened his pourse, and beganne to synge
+thus:
+
+  Whan you haue dyned make no delaye
+  But paye your oste, and go your waye.
+
+Dothe this songe please you, quod he? Yes, marye, said the tauerner,
+this pleaseth me well. Than, as couenant was (quod the felowe), ye be
+paide for your vitaile. And so he departed, and wente his waye.
+
+This tale sheweth, that a man may be to hastye in makynge of a bargayne
+and couenantynge; and therfore a man ought to take good hede, what he
+sayth: for one worde may bynde a man to great inconuenience, if the
+matter be weighty.
+
+
+
+
+¶ _Of the foole that thought hym selfe deed._ lviii.
+
+
+¶ There was a felowe dwellynge at Florence, called Nigniaca, whiche was
+nat verye wyse, nor all a foole, but merye and iocunde. A sorte[236] of
+yonge men, for to laughe and pastyme, appoynted to gether to make hym
+beleue that he was sycke. So, whan they were agreed howe they wolde do,
+one of them mette hym in the mornynge, as he came out of his house, and
+bad him good morowe, and than asked him, if he were nat yl at ease? No,
+quod the foole, I ayle nothynge, I thanke God. By my faith, ye haue a
+sickely pale colour, quod the other, and wente his waye.
+
+Anone after, an other of them mette hym, and asked hym if he had nat an
+ague: for your face and colour (quod he) sheweth that ye be very sycke.
+Than the foole beganne a lyttel to doubt, whether he were sycke or no:
+for he halfe beleued that they sayd trouth. Whan he had gone a lytel
+farther, the thyrde man mette hym, and sayde: Jesu! manne, what do you
+out of your bed? ye loke as ye wolde nat lyue an houre to an ende. Nowe
+he doubted greatly, and thought verily in his mynde, that he had hadde
+some sharpe ague; wherfore he stode styll and wolde go no further; and,
+as he stode, the fourth man came and sayde: Jesu! man, what dost thou
+here, and arte so sycke? Gette the home to thy bedde: for I parceyue
+thou canste nat lyue an houre to an ende. Than the foles harte beganne
+to feynte,[237] and [he] prayde this laste man that came to hym to helpe
+hym home. Yes, quod he, I wyll do as moche for the as for myn owne
+brother. So home he brought hym, and layde hym in his bed, and than he
+fared with hym selfe, as thoughe he wolde gyue vp the gooste. Forth with
+came the other felowes, and saide he hadde well done to lay hym in his
+bedde. Anone after, came one whiche toke on hym to be a phisitian;
+whiche, touchynge the pulse, sayde the malady was so vehement, that he
+coulde nat lyue an houre. So they, standynge aboute the bedde, sayde one
+to an other: nowe he gothe his waye: for his speche and syght fayle him;
+by and by he wyll yelde vp the goste. Therfore lette vs close his eyes,
+and laye his hands a crosse, and cary hym forth to be buryed. And than
+they sayde lamentynge one to an other: O! what a losse haue we of this
+good felowe, our frende?
+
+The foole laye stylle, as one [that] were deade; yea, and thought in his
+mynde, that he was deade in dede. So they layde hym on a bere, and
+caryed hym through the cite. And whan any body asked them what they
+caryed, they sayd the corps of Nigniaca to his graue. And euer as they
+went, people drew about them. Among the prece[238] ther was a tauerners
+boy, the whiche, whan he herde that it was the cors of Nigniaca, he said
+to them: O! what a vile bestly knaue, and what a stronge thefe is deed!
+by the masse, he was well worthy to haue ben hanged longe ago. Whan the
+fole harde those wordes, he put out his heed and sayd: I wys, horeson,
+if I were alyue nowe, as I am deed, I wolde proue the a false lyer to
+thy face. They, that caryed him, began to laugh so hartilye, that they
+sette downe the bere, and wente theyr waye.
+
+By this tale ye maye se, what the perswasion of many doth. Certaynly he
+is very wyse, that is nat inclined to foly, if he be stered therevnto by
+a multitude. Yet sapience is founde in fewe persones: and they be
+lyghtly[239] olde sobre men.[240]
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[236] Knot, party.
+
+[237] To grow faint.
+
+[238] Crowd.
+
+[239] Usually. See Nares, edit. 1839, _in voce_.
+
+[240] This story is to be found in Poggius, who calls it _Mortuus
+Loquens_, and from Poggius it was transferred by Grazzini to his
+collection of Tales, not published till after his death.
+
+
+
+
+¶ _Of the olde man and his sonne that brought his asse to the towne to
+sylle._ lix.
+
+
+¶ An olde man on a tyme and a lyttell boye his sonne droue a litel asse
+before them, whiche he purposed to sylle at the markette towne, that
+they went to. And bicause he so dyd, the folkes that wrought by the way
+syde, blamed hym; wherfore he set vp his sonne, and went hym selfe on
+fote. Other, that sawe that, called hym foole, by cause he lette the
+yonge boye ryde, and he, beynge so aged, to goo a foote. Than he toke
+downe the boye, and lepte vp and rode hym selfe. Whanne he hadde rydden
+a lyttell waye, he harde other that blamed hym, bycause he made the
+lyttell yonge boye ronne after as a seruaunte, and he his father to
+ryde. Than he sette vppe the boye behynde hym, and so rode forthe.
+
+Anone he mette with other, that asked hym if the asse were his owne, by
+whiche wordes he coniected, that he did nat wel so to ouercharge the
+lyttell sely asse, that vnethe[241] was able to beare one. Thus he,
+troubled with their dyuers and manyfolde opinions; whiche, neither with
+his asse vacant, nor he alone, nor his sonne alone, nor bothe to gether
+rydyng at ones on the asse, coulde passe forth with out detraction and
+blame. Wherfore at last he bounde the asse[s] feet to gether, and put
+through a staffe; and so he and his sonne began to beare the asse
+betwene them on their shulders to the towne. The noueltie of whiche
+syght caused euery body to laughe and blame the folysshenes of them
+both. The sely olde man was so sore agreued that, as he sat and rested
+hym on a ryuers syde, he threwe his asse in to the water; and so whan he
+had drowned his asse he tourned home agayne. Thus the good man,
+desyrynge to please euerye bodye, contentynge none at all, loste his
+asse.
+
+By this tale appereth playnelye, that they, whiche commyt them selfe to
+the opinion of the common people, ben oppressed with great myserye and
+seruage: for how is it possible to please all, whan euerye man hath a
+dyuers opinion, and dyuerslye iudgeth and that was well knowen to the
+poet, whan he sayde:
+
+  _Scinditur incertum studia in contraria vulgus._
+
+And as Cicero, Persius, and Flaccus say: as many men so many myndes: as
+many heedes so many wyttes. That, that pleaseth one, displeaseth an
+other: Fewe alowe that that they loue nat: and that that a man aloweth,
+he thynketh good. Therfore the beste is, that euery man liue well, as a
+good Christen man shulde, and care nat for the vayne wordes and
+ianglynge of the people. For bablynge (as Plutarchus sayth) is a greuous
+disease, and harde to be remedied. For that that shulde heale it (which
+is wordes of wisdome) cureth them that harkneth there vnto; but pratlers
+wille here none but them selfe.
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[241] Scarcely.
+
+
+
+
+¶ _Of him that sought his asse and rode on his backe._ lx.
+
+
+¶ There was in the countrey of Florence an husbande man, that vsed to
+carye corne to the market vpon many lytell asses. On a tyme as he came
+home warde, bycause he was somewhat werye, to ease him selfe, he rode on
+one the strongest of them. And as he rode, dryuinge his asses before
+him, he counted them, and forgot the asse that he rode on; wherfore he
+thought still that he lacked one. Thus sore troubled in his mynde, he
+bad his wyfe set vp his asses, and hastily rode agayne backe to the
+towne vii myles of, to seke the asse that he rode on. He asked euery
+body that he met, if they sawe an asse straye alone. Whan he herde euery
+bodye saye they sawe none suche, makynge great sorowe, he retourned
+home agayne. At laste, whan he was alyghted his wyfe parceyued and
+shewedde hym playnlye, that the asse, that he rode on, was the same that
+he soughte, and made suche sorowe fore.
+
+This ieste may be well applied vnto suche as note the defautes, that
+they lyghtly[242] spy in other, and take none hede, nor can nat se, what
+ils they haue or[243] bene spotted with them selfe.
+
+
+
+
+¶ _The answere of Fabius to Liuius._ lxi.
+
+
+¶ Whan Anniball, the capitayne of Cartage, had conquered Tarent (a towne
+perteinyng to the Romayns), all saue the castell, and had lefte a
+garnison to kepe it, whan the worthy Romayne Fabius had knowelege
+therof, he pryuely conducted an armye thether, and got the towne agayne,
+and pylled[244] it. Than M. Liuius that kepte the castell with the
+garnison, sayde bostynge him selfe, that Fabius had gotte the towne
+through him and his helpe. You saye trouth, quod Fabius: for if you had
+nat loste the towne, I shulde neuer haue gotte hit.[245]
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[242] Readily. A story very like this occurs in _A Sackful of Newes_,
+1673. It was originally related by Poggius in his Facetiæ, where it is
+entitled _Asinus Perditus_, and it has been imitated by La Fontaine in
+the fable of "Le Villageois qui cherche son veau." It is also the 12th
+tale of _Les Cent Nouvelles Nouvelles_.
+
+[243] Before.
+
+[244] Pillaged.
+
+
+
+
+¶ _The answere of Poltis, the kynge of Thrace, to the Troyan
+embassadors._[246] lxii.
+
+
+¶ Plutarche lyke wyse reherseth that, durynge the warre of Troy, the
+Grekes and also the Troians sent ambassadours to a kynge of Thrace
+calledde Poltis, whiche kynge answered th ambassadours and bade, that
+Alexandre shulde delyuer agayne Helayne (for she was the cause of the
+warre), and he wolde gyue him ii fayre wyues for her.
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[245] "Now there was one _Marcus Livius_, a ROMAINE that was Gouernour
+of TARENTUM at that time when _Hanniball_ tooke it, and neverthelesse
+kept the castell still out of _Hannibals_ hands, and so held it untill
+the city came againe into the hands of the ROMAINES. This _Livius_
+spited to see such honour done to _Fabius_, so that one day in open
+Senate, being drowned with enuy and ambition, he burst out and said,
+that it was himselfe, not _Fabius_, that was cause of taking of the city
+of TARENTUM again. _Fabius_, smiling to hear him, answeryd him opely:
+'Indeed, thou saiest true, for if thou hadst not lost it, I had never
+won it again.'"--Plutarch's _Lives_, transl. by Sir T. North, ed. 1603,
+fol. 192.
+
+[246] [Greek: Poltus, ho Thrakôn basileus en tô Trôikô polemô
+presbeusamenôn pros auton hama tôn Trôôn kai tôn Achaiôn, ekeleuse ton
+Alexandron apodonta tên Helenên, duo par autou labein kalas
+gynaikas.]--Plutarchi _Apothegmata_ (Opera Moralia et Philosophica, vol.
+vi. p. 665, edit. Lipsiæ, 1777).
+
+
+
+
+
+¶ _The wyse answere of Hanibal to kynge Antiochus, concerninge his ryche
+armye._ lxiii.
+
+
+¶ Whan kynge Antiochus had prepared to make warre to the Romayns, he
+caused his armye to mustre before Anniball. So they shewed and mustred,
+both horse men and fote men; of whose ryche and sumptuous armour and
+apparaile al the felde glistred and shone. How saye you, quod the kynge
+to Hanibal, is nat this armye sufficient ynough for the Romayns? Yes,
+quod Haniball, and though they were the moste couetous of all the
+worlde. The kynge mente one thing, and he answered an other.[247]
+
+
+
+
+¶ _The wordes of Popilius the Romayn embassadour to Antiochus the
+kynge._ lxiiii.
+
+
+¶ One C. Popilius was sente vp[o]n a tyme by the Senatours of Rome with
+letters to Antiochus the kynge of Syrye, wherin the kyng was commaunded
+to calle his armye backe agayne oute of Aegipte: and that he shulde
+suffer the chyldren of Ptolome and theyr realme in peace. As th
+embassadour came by the kynges tentes and pauylyons, Antiochus a good
+waye of saluted him, but he did nat salute the kynge agayne, but
+delyuered to him his letters. Whan the kynge hadde redde the letters, he
+sayde, that he muste take counsayle, before he made him an answere.
+Popilius, with a rod that he had in his hande, made a compace aboute the
+kynge, and sayde: euen here standinge, take counsayle, and make me an
+answere. Euery man hadde meruayle at the grauite and stout stomacke of
+the man; and whan Antiochus was contente to do as the Romayns wolde haue
+hym, than Popilius both saluted and embraced him.[248]
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[247] See the 21st Novel of the 1st tome of the _Palace of Pleasure_
+(Haslewood's edit. i. 74).
+
+
+
+
+¶ _Of him that loued the marchants wyfe._ lxv.
+
+
+¶ Ther was a yonge lusty gentyll man vpon a tyme that was ryght amorous,
+and loued a certayne marchauntes wyfe oute of all measure, in so moch
+that he folowed her to the churche and other places, but he durste neuer
+speake. At the laste he, with two or thre of his felowes, folowed her
+to a fryers, where he hadde tyme and place conueniente to speake thre
+or four wordes to her, that he before had deuysed. So one of his felowes
+sayde: go nowe, speake to her. But he stode styll all astonied. They
+egged[249] and prouoked him so moche, that at last he wente vnto her,
+and, clene forgettynge those wordes that he had thoughte to haue spoken,
+he said to her on this wise: maistres, I am your owne lytel seruante;
+wherat she smyled and sayd: syr, I nede nat your seruyce: for I haue
+seruantes inow at home, that can brusshe, sponge, wasshe and do all my
+other busines. The whiche answere and folysshe basshemente of the gentyl
+man caused his felowes to laugh hartelye. This maner of folye was well
+knowen to the poet, whan he sayde:
+
+  _Incipit affari, mediaque in voce resistit._
+
+  Folysshe loue maketh folkes astonied
+  And eke to raue without remembrance
+  Whan they shulde speake, they bene abasshed
+  And of theyr wordes can make none vtterance
+  Nor be so hardye them selfe to auance
+  What tyme they se of her the swete face
+  Of whom the loue theyr hartes doth enbrace.
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[248] "Quibus perlectis, quum se consideraturum, adhibitis amicis, quid
+faciendum sibi esset, dixisset, Popilius, pro cetera asperitate animi,
+virga, quam in manu gerebat, circumscripsit regem: ac, 'Priusquam hoc
+circulo excedas,' inquit, 'redde responsum, senatui quod referam.'
+Obstupefactus tam violento imperio parumper quum hæsitasset, 'Faciam,'
+inquit 'quod censet Senatus.' Tun demum Popilius dextram regi, tanquam
+socio atque amico, porrexit."--Livy, lib. xlv. c. 12, edit. Twiss.
+
+[249] Edged.
+
+
+
+
+¶ _Of the woman that couerd her heed and shewed her taile._ lxvi.
+
+
+¶ As a woman, that for a certayne impedimente had shaued her heed, sat
+in her house bare heed, one of her neighbours called her forth hastely
+into the strete, and for haste she forgotte to putte on her kerchefe.
+When her neighbour sawe her so, she blamed her for cominge abrode bare
+heed: wherfore she whypte vp her clothes ouer her heed. And so to couer
+her hed she shewed her * * *. They, that stode by, beganne to laugh at
+her folysshenes, whiche to hyde a lytell faute shewed a greatter.[250]
+
+This tale touchethe them, that wolde couer a smalle offence with a
+greatter wyckednesse; and as the prouerbe saythe: Stomble at a strawe,
+and leape ouer a blocke.
+
+
+
+
+¶ _Howe Alexander was monysshed to slee the fyrste that he mette._
+lxvii.
+
+
+¶ Whan great Alexander wolde entre in to Perse lande with his armye, he
+counsayled with Apollo of his good spede:[251] and by lotte[252] he was
+warned, that he shulde commaunde to slee the fyrst that he mette, whan
+he issued out at a gate. Perchaunce, the fyrste that he mette was a man
+dryuynge an asse before hym. Incontinent the kyng commaunded to take and
+put hym to dethe. Whan the poore man sawe, that they wolde slee him, he
+said: what haue I done? Shall I that am an innocent [man] be putte to
+deathe? Alexander, to excuse his dede, sayde, he was warned by diuine
+monition to commaunde to slee the fyrste that he mette comynge out at
+that gate. If it be so, myghty kyng (quod the man), than the lotte
+dyuine hath ordeyned an other to suffre this deth and not me: for the
+lytel asse, that I droue before me, mette you fyrste.
+
+Whiche subtyle sayenge greatly pleased Alexander: for elles he had done
+amysse; and so he caused the beaste to be slayne.
+
+By this tale one may note, that it is better sometyme to be laste than
+fyrste.
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[250] "Mal est caché a qui l'on void le dos."--Leigh's _Select French
+Proverbs_, 1664.
+
+[251] Good fortune.
+
+[252] Casting of lots.
+
+
+
+
+¶ _Howe the cite of Lamsac was saued from destruction._ lxviii.
+
+
+¶ As great Alexander on a tyme was fully purposed to haue vtterly
+distroyed a great cite, called Lamsac,[253] he sawe his mayster
+Anaximenes[254] come towarde him withoute the walles: and bicause the
+kynge perceyued manifestlye, that he came to entreate hym for the cite,
+he sware a great othe, that he wolde nat do that that he came to desyre
+hym fore. Than Anaximenes sayde: sir, I desyre your grace, that this
+same cite Lampsac may be vtterly distroyed. Through which sage and
+subtile sayeng the noble auncient citie was saued from ruyne and
+destruction.
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[253] Lampsacus.
+
+[254] Anaximenes, the historian, who wrote an account of the Life of
+Alexander the Great. He was a native of Lampsacus, and the nephew of the
+orator of the same name.
+
+
+
+
+¶ _Howe Demosthenes defended a mayde._ lxix.
+
+
+¶ There were two men on a time, the whiche lefte a great somme of money
+in kepyng with a maiden on this condition, that she shulde nat delyuer
+hit agayne, excepte they came bothe to gether for hit. Nat lang after,
+one of them cam to hir mornyngly arayde, and sayde that his felowe was
+deed, and so required the money, and she delyuered it to hym. Shortly
+after came the tother man, and required to haue the moneye that was
+lefte with her in kepyng. The maiden was than so sorowfull, both for
+lacke of the money, and for one to defende her cause, that she thought
+to hange her selfe. But Demosthenes, that excellent oratour, spake for
+her and sayd: sir, this mayden is redy to quite her fidelite,[255] and
+to deliuer agayne the money that was lefte with her in kepynge, so that
+thou wylt brynge thy felowe with the to resceyue it. But that he coude
+nat do.
+
+
+
+
+¶ _Of him that desired to be made a gentilman._ lxx.
+
+
+¶ There was a rude clubbysshe[256] felowe, that longe had serued the
+duke of Orliance; wherfore he cam on a tyme to the duke, and desired to
+be made a gentyll man. To whom the duke answered: in good feyth, I may
+well make the ryche, but as for gentyl man I can neuer make the.[257]
+
+By which wordes appereth, that goodes and riches do not make a gentyl
+man, but noble and vertuous conditions do.
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[255] _i.e._ Discharge, or acquit herself of, her trust.
+
+[256] Uncouth. "If thou shuldest refuse to do any of these thynges, and
+woldest assaye to do some thing of more sadnes and prudence, they wyll
+esteme and count the vnmanerly, _cloubbysshe_, frowarde, and clene
+contrarye to all mennes myndes."--Erasmus _De Contemptu Mundi_, transl.
+by Thomas Paynel, 1533, fol. 42. "Rusticitie may seem to be an ignorance
+of honesty and comelinesse. A Clowne or rude fellow is he, who will goe
+into a crowd or presse, when he hath taken a purge: and hee that sayth,
+that Garlicke is as sweet as a gillifiower: that weares shooes much
+larger then his foot: that speakes alwaies very loud:"
+&c.,--_Theophrastus His Characters_, translated by John Healey, 1616,
+pp. 15, 16. It is a generally received opinion that this work has come
+down to us in a corrupt shape.
+
+[257] Times were altered when the curious ballad "These Knights will
+hack," printed by Mr. Halliwell from Addit. MS. 5832, in one of the
+Shakespeare Society's publications (_Marriage of Wit and Wisdom_, &c.,
+p. 144), was directed against the mushroom-knights of James I.:--
+
+"Come all you farmers out of the countrey, Carters, plowmen, hedgers,
+and all, Tom, Dick, and Will, Ralph, Roger, and Humphrey, Leave of your
+gestures rusticall. Bidde all your home-sponne russets adue, And sute
+yourselves in fashions new: Honour invits you to delights; Come all to
+court, and be made knights. He that hath fortie pounds per annum Shal be
+promoted from the plow: His wife shall take the wall of her grannam,
+Honour is sould so dog-cheap now," &c.
+
+
+
+
+¶ _Of the gentyll man and his shrewde wyfe._ lxxi.
+
+
+¶ There was a certayne gentyll man, that had a cursed chydynge wyfe,
+that wente euery day, and complayned on hym to a religious man, the
+whiche religious man toke vpon hym by weye of confession to reconcile
+and accorde them to gether: and the gentyll man was very well contente,
+that he so shulde do, and came to him therfore. Whan the gentyll man was
+come, the religious man badde hym shewe his offences and trespaces. No,
+quod the gentyll man, that nedeth nat: for I knowe verye well my wyfe
+hath shewed vnto you all the offences that euer I dyd, and moche more.
+
+
+
+
+¶ _Of the two yonge men that rode to Walsyngham._[258] lxxii.
+
+
+¶ One John Roynoldes[259] rode oute of London vpon a tyme towarde
+Walsyngham, in company of a yonge man of the same cite, that hadde nat
+moche ben accustomed to ryde. So they came to an Inne, where a[260]
+great companye was lodged. And in the mornynge whan euery man made hym
+redy to ryde, and some were on horsebacke setting forwarde, John
+Roynoldes founde his companion, syttynge in a browne study at the Inne
+gate, to whom he sayd: for shame, man, how syttest thou? Why doste thou
+nat make the redy to horsebacke, that we myght sette forwarde with
+companye? I tary (quod he) for a good cause. For what cause, quod
+Roynoldes? Marye (quod he), here be so many horses, that I can nat telle
+whiche is myne owne amonge the other, and I knowe well, whan euery man
+is riden and gone, the horse that remaineth behynde must nedes be myn.
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[258] Consult the new edition of Nares' Glossary, voce _Walsingham_.
+"This is an Image of oure Ladye. Ergo it is oure Ladye, and here she
+wyll worke wounders more than in an other place, as she dyd at
+Walsingham, at Boston, at Lincoln, at Ipswiche, and I cannot tell
+where."--Wilson's _Rule of Reason_, 1551, 8vo. sign S ii _verso_. In
+Percy's _Reliques_, ii. 91, is the ballad "As I went to Walsingham."
+"Have with you to Walsingham" is mentioned as a musical composition in
+Ward's _Lives of the Professors of Gresham College_. See also Burney's
+_Hist. of Music_, iii. p. 111. When people employed this form of
+adjuration, as was formerly very common, they were said, for brevity's
+sake, "to swear Walsingham." In the play of _The Weakest Goeth to the
+Wall_, 1600, 4to. Barnaby Bunch the Botcher sings:
+
+"King Richard's gone to Walsingham, To the Holy Land!"
+
+with what are intended for comic interlocutions. In March, 1502--3,
+Elizabeth of York, consort of Henry VII, made an oblation of six
+shillings and eightpence to "oure lady of Walsingham" (_Privy Purse
+Expenses of Elizabeth of York_, edited by Nicolas, p. 3). This offering
+may not appear very large, but it was thought a considerable sum to
+devote to the purpose in those days; for in the _Northumberland
+Household Book_, ed. 1827, p. 337, we find that the yearly offering of
+the Earl of Northumberland (Henry Algernon Percy, 5th. Earl, b. 1478, d.
+1527) to the same shrine was fourpence. There is a fuller account of the
+Shrine of Walsingham, &c., in Chappell's _Popular Music of the Olden
+Time_, 121, et seqq.
+
+[259] It is just possible that this individual may be identical with the
+"John Reynolde" mentioned in the subjoined extract from the _Privy Purse
+Expenses of Elizabeth of York_, under date of December, 1502:--
+
+"It[=m] the xvth day of Decembre, to John Reynolde for money by him
+payed to a man that broke a yong hors of the Quenes at Mortymer by the
+space of v wekes, every weke iis. s[=m]. xs."
+
+
+
+
+¶ _Of the yonge man of Bruges, and his spouse._ lxxiii.
+
+
+¶ A yonge man of Bruges, that was betrouthed to a fayre mayden, came on
+a tyme, whan her mother was out of the way, and had to do with her. Whan
+her mother was come in, anone she perceyued by her doughters chere, what
+she had done; wherfore she was so sore displesed, that she sewed a
+diuorse, and wolde in no wyse suffre that the yonge man shulde marye her
+daughter.
+
+Nat longe after, the same yonge man was maryed to an other mayden of the
+same parysshe: and as he and his wyfe satte talkynge on a tyme of the
+forsayde dammusell, to whome he was betrouthed, he fell in a nyce[261]
+laughyng. Whereat laugh ye? quod his wyfe. It chaunced on a tyme (quod
+he), that she and I dydde suche a thyng to gether, and she tolde hit to
+her mother. Therin (quod his wyfe) she playde the foole: a seruante of
+my fathers playde that game with me an hundred tymes, and yet I neuer
+tolde my mother. Whan he herde her saye so, he lefte his nyce laughynge.
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[260] Orig. reads _as_.
+
+
+
+
+¶ _Of hym that made as he hadde ben a chaste lyuer._ lxxiiii.
+
+
+¶ A felowe, that toke vpon him, as he had ben the moste chaste and beste
+disposed man lyuinge, was by one of his felowes on a tyme taken in
+aduoutry,[262] and sharpely rebuked for it, bycause he prated so moche
+of chastite, and yet was taken in the same faute. To whome he answerde
+againe: O fool, doste thou thinke that I did it for bodely pleasure? No!
+no! I dyd it but onely to subdue my flesshe, and to purge my reynes.
+
+Wherby ye may perceyue, that of all other dissemblynge hipocrytes are
+the worste.
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[261] Foolish. Used in this sense by Chaucer and Shakespeare. See the
+last edit, of Nares _in voce_.
+
+[262] I have already explained this word to signify adultery. The latter
+form appears to have been little used by old writers (though it occurs
+in the _Rule of Reason_, 1551, 8vo. by Thomas Wilson). Thus in Paynel's
+translation of Erasmus _De Contemptu Mundi_,1533, fol. 16, we
+find--"Richesse engendre and brynge forth inceste and advoutry."
+
+"_Hobs._ Mass, they say King Henry is a very _advoutry_ man.
+
+"_King._ A devout man? And what King Edward?"--
+
+Heywood's _Edward IV._ Part I. 1600.
+
+
+
+
+¶ _Of hym that the olde roode fell on._ lxxv.
+
+
+¶ As a man kneled vpon a tyme prayenge before an olde rode, the rode
+felle downe on him and brak his hede; wherfore he wolde come no more in
+the churche halfe a yere after. At lengthe, by the prouocation of his
+nighbours, he cam to the churche agayne; and bycause he sawe his
+nighbours knele before the same rode, he kneled downe lyke wyse and
+sayde thus: well, I may cappe and knele to the; but thou shake neuer
+haue myn harte agayne, as long as I lyue.
+
+By which tale appereth, that by gentyll and courteyse entreatinge mens
+myndes ben obteyned.[263] For though the people cappe and knele to one
+in highe authorite, yet lyttell whoteth he, what they thynke.
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[263] Orig. and Singer read _opteyned_.
+
+
+
+
+¶ _Of the wydow that wolde nat wedde for bodily pleasure._ lxxvi.
+
+
+¶ There was a ryche wydowe, whiche desyredde a gossyp of hers, that she
+wold get her an husband: nat for the nyce playe, quod she, but to th'
+entente he may kepe my goodes to gether, whiche is an harde thinge for
+me to do, beynge a lone woman. Her gossyp, whiche vnderstode her
+conceyte, promysed her so to do. Aboute iii or iiii dayes after, she
+came to her agayne, and sayde: gossyp, I haue founde an husbande for
+you, that is a prudente, a ware, and a worldlye[264] wyse man, but he
+lacketh his priuey members, wherof ye force nat. Go to the dyuell with
+that husbande (quod the wydowe): for though that I desyre nat the nyce
+playe: yet I wylle that myne husbande shall haue that, where with we may
+be reconciled, if we falle at variance.
+
+
+
+
+¶ _Of the couetous ambassodour, that wolde here no musike._ lxxvii.
+
+
+¶ Whan a couetous man on a time was come vnto a certain cite, whither he
+was sent as ambassadour for his contrey, anon the mynstrels of the cite
+came to him to fil his eares with swete din, to th' intente he shuld fyl
+their purses with money. But he, perceyunge that, bad one of his
+seruauntes go and telle them, that he coulde nat than intende[265] to
+here their musicke, but he muste demene great sorow, for his mother was
+deed. So the minstrels, disapointed of theyr purpose, all sadlye went
+theyr waye. And whan a worshipfull man of the cite, that was his frende,
+herd tell of his mourning, he came to visete and comforte him; and so in
+talkynge together he asked, howe longe a go it was that his mother
+deceased? Truelye (quod he), hit is xl yere ago. Than his frende,
+vnderstandyinge his subtilte, beganne to laughe hartely.
+
+This tale is aplyed to the couetous men, whiche by al crafte and meanes
+study to kepe and encreace theyr money and substance; agaynst whiche
+vyce many thinges ben wryten. As farre (sayth one) is that frome a
+couetous man that he hath, as that he hath nat.[266] And Diogenes
+calleth couetousnes the heed of all yuels, and saynt Hieronyme calleth
+couetousnes the rote of all yuels. And for an example, the tale
+folowinge shall be of couetousnes.
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[264] Orig. and Singer read _wordlye_.
+
+[265] Give attention.
+
+[266] "The covetous man is servaunt and nat mayster vnto riches: and the
+waster will nat longe be mayster therof. The one is possessed and doth
+nat possesse; and the other within a shorte whyle leueth the possession
+of riches."--Erasmus _De Contemptu Mundi_, 1533, fol. 17 (Paynel's
+translation). So also, in the _Rule of Reason_, 1551, 8vo, Wilson
+says:--"Is a covetous man poore or not? I may thus reason with my self.
+Why should a couetous man be called poore, what affinitie is betwixt
+them twoo? Marie, in this poynct thei bothe agree, that like as the
+poore man ever lacketh and desireth to have, so the covetous manne ever
+lacketh, wantyng the use of that whiche he hath, and desireth styl to
+have." "To a covetous ma he (Pythagoras) sayde:--"O fole, thy ryches are
+lost upon the, and are very pouertie."--Baldwin's _Treatise of Morall
+Phylosophie_, 1547.
+
+
+
+
+¶ _How Denise the tirant serued a couetous man._ lxxix.
+
+
+¶ It was shewed to Denise the tyran, that a couetous man of the cite had
+hyd a great some of money in the grounde, and lyued moste wretchedly:
+wherfore he sente for the man, and commaunded him to go dyg vp the
+money, and so to deliuer it vnto him. The man obeyed, and delyuered vnto
+the tyran all the golde and treasure that he hadde, saue a small some,
+that he priuelye kept a syde: where with he wente in to an other cite,
+and forsoke Syracuse: and there bought a lytell lande, where vpon he
+lyued. Whan the tyran vnderstode that he hadde so done, he sent for him
+agayne; and whan he was come, the tyran sayde to him: syth thou haste
+lerned nowe to vse well thy goodes, and nat to kepe them vnprofytably, I
+wyll restore them all to the agayne. And so he dyd.
+
+
+
+
+¶ _Of the olde man, that quengered[267] the boy oute of the apletree
+with stones._ lxxx.
+
+
+¶ As an olde man walked on a tyme in his orcherd he loked vp, and sawe a
+boye sytte in a tree, stealynge his apples; whom he entreated with fayre
+wordes to come downe, and let his apples alone. And whan the olde man
+sawe, that the boye cared nat for him, by cause of his age, and set
+noughte by his wordes, he sayde: I haue harde saye, that nat onlye in
+wordes, but also in herbes, shulde be greatte vertue. Wherfore he
+plucked vp herbes, and beganne to throwe them at the boye, wherat the
+boye laughed hartelye, and thought that the olde man hadde ben mad, to
+thynke to driue him out of the tree with casting of herbes. Than the
+olde man sayde: well, seynge that nother wordes nor herbes haue no
+vertue agaynste the stealer of my goodes, I wylle proue what stones
+wylle do, in whiche, I haue harde men saye, is great vertue; and so he
+gathered his lappe full of stones, and threwe them at the boye, and
+compelled hym to come downe, and renne awaye.
+
+This tale sheweth, that they, that bene wyse, proue many wayes, before
+they arme them.
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[267] Conjured.
+
+
+
+
+¶ _Of the ryche man that wolde not haue a glyster._ lxxxi.
+
+
+¶ There was a certayn riche man on a tyme, whiche felle sycke, to the
+whose curynge came many phisitians (for flyes by heapes flee to honye).
+Amonge them all there was one that sayde, that he muste nedes take a
+glyster, if he wolde be holle. Whan the sicke man, that was nat envred
+with that medicine, harde hym saye so, he sayde in a great furye: out a
+dores with those phisitians! they be madde: for, where as my payne is in
+my heed, they wolde heale me in myne * * * *.
+
+This fable sheweth that holsom thynges to them, that lacke knowlege and
+experyence, seme hurtfull.
+
+
+
+
+¶ _Of hym that feyned hym selfe deed to proue what his wyfe wolde do._
+lxxxii.
+
+
+¶ A yonge married man on a time, to proue, to here and to se what his
+wyfe wolde do, if he were deed, came in to his house, whyle his wyfe was
+forthe wasshynge of clothes, and layd him downe in the floore, as he had
+ben deed. Whan his wyfe came in, and sawe him lye so, she thought he had
+ben deed in dede; wherfore she stode euen stylle, and deuysed with her
+selfe whether was better to bewayle his dethe forth with, or els to dyne
+fyrste; for she had eate of nomeate[268] all the day. All other thinges
+consydered, she determined to dyne fyrste. So she cut a coloppe of
+baken, and broyled it on the coles, and began to eate theron a pace; she
+was so hungrye, that she toke no hede of drynke. At laste, the saltenes
+of the meate made her to thyrste so sore, that she muste nedes drynke.
+So, as she toke the potte in her hande, and was goyng downe into her
+seller to drawe drynke, sodaynely came one of her neyghbours for a cole
+o' fyre.[269] Wherfore she stepped backe quickely, and though she was
+right thyrsty, yet she sette the potte a syde; and as [if] her husbande
+had than fallen downe deed, she beganne to wepe, and with many
+lamentable wordes to bewayle his dethe; which wepynge and walyng and
+sodaine dethe of her husbande caused all the neyghbours to come thyther.
+The man laye stylle in the floore, and so helde his brethe, and closed
+his eies, that he semed for certayne to be deade. At laste, whanne he
+thought he had made pastyme inough, and herynge his wyfe saye thus:
+alas! dere husbande, what shall I do nowe? he loked vp and sayde: full
+yll, my swete wyfe, excepte ye go quyckely and drynke; wherwith they al
+from wepyng tourned to laughynge, specially whan they vnderstode the
+matter and the cause of her thyrste.
+
+Wherby ye may se, that nat without a good skyl the poet sayde:
+
+  _Ut flerent oculos erudiere suos._
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[268] Orig. reads _no meat of_.
+
+[269] Orig. reads _a fire_.
+
+
+
+
+¶ _Of the poure man, into whose house theues brake by nyghte._[270]
+lxxxiii.
+
+
+¶ There was a poore man on a tyme, the whiche vnto theues, that brake
+into his house on nyght, he sayde on this wyse: syrs, I maruayle, that
+ye thynke to fynde any thyng here by nyght: for I ensure you I can fynd
+nothing, whan it is brode day.
+
+  By this tale appereth playnly
+  That pouerte is a welthy mysery.
+
+
+
+
+¶ _Of hym that shulde haue ben hanged for his scoffynge._ lxxxiiii.
+
+
+¶ There was a mery felowe in hygh Almayn, the whiche, with his scoffynge
+and iestynge, had so moche displeased a great lorde of the countreye,
+that he thretned to hange hym, if euer he coude take hym in his
+countrey. Nat longe after, this lordes seruauntes toke hym, and hanged
+he shulde be. Whanne he sawe there was no remedy but that he shulde dye,
+he sayde: my lorde, I muste nedes suffre dethe, whiche I knowe I haue
+wel deserued. But yet I beseke you graunte me one peticion for my
+soule[s] helthe. The lorde, at the instaunce of the people that stode
+aboute, so it dydde not concerne his lyfe, was contente to graunte it
+hym. Than the felowe sayde: I desyre you, my lorde, that after I am
+hanged, to come iii mornynges, fresshe and fastynge, and kysse me on the
+bare ****. Where vnto the lorde answered: the deuyll kysse thyne ****:
+and so let hym go.
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[270] This tale, which is a very old one, is also found in _Jests to
+Make You Merie_, by T[homas] D[ekker] and George Wilkins, Lond. 1607,
+4to. and in the _Philosophers Banquet_, 1614, 3vo.
+
+
+
+
+¶ _Of hym that had his goose stole._ lxxxv.
+
+
+¶ A man, that had a goose stoole from hym, went and complayned to the
+curate, and desyred hym to do so moche as helpe, that he had his goose
+again. The curate sayde he wolde. So on Sonday the curate, as though he
+wolde curse, wente vp in to the pulpit, and bade euery body syt downe.
+So, whan they were set, he said: why sit ye nat downe? We be set all
+redy, quod they. Naye (quod the curate) he that dyd stele the goose
+sitteth nat. Yes, that I do, quod he. Sayste thou that, quod the curate?
+I charge the, on peyne of cursing, to bryng the goose home ageyn.
+
+
+
+
+¶ _Of the begger that sayd he was kyn to kyng Philip of Macedone._
+lxxxvi.
+
+
+¶ There came a begger to kyng Philip of Macedone on a tyme, and prayde
+the kyng to gyue hym some what; and farther he sayde he was his kynse
+man. And whan the kyng asked hym which way, he answered and sayde howe
+they came bothe of Adam. Than the kynge commanded to gyue hym an almes.
+Whan the begger sawe it was but a small pece of moneye, he sayde, that
+was nat a semely gyfte for a kynge. The kynge answered: if I shuld gyue
+euery manne so moche, that is my kynse manne lyke as thou arte, I shulde
+leaue nothynge for my selfe.[271]
+
+
+
+
+¶ _Of Dantes answere to the iester._ lxxxvii.
+
+
+¶ Dantes the poete dwelled a whyle with Can, the Prince de la
+Scale,[272] with whome also dwelled an other Florentyne, that hadde
+neyther lernynge nor prudence, and was a man mete for nothynge but to
+scoffe and ieste; but yet with his mery toyes, he so moued the sayd Can,
+that he dydde greatly enryche hym. And, bycause Dantes dispised his
+foolysshenes, this scoffer sayd to hym: how cometh it, Dantes, that thou
+art helde[273] so wyse and so well lerned, and yet arte poore and nedy?
+I am an vnlerned man and am an ignorant fole, and yet I am farre richer
+than thou art. To whom Dantes answered: if I may fynde a lord lyke and
+conformable to my maners, as thou hast founde to thyn, he wyll lyke wyse
+make me ryche.
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[271] In _Chevræana_, première partie, Paris, 1697, 8vo. p. 119, this
+story is altered to suit the Emperor Maximilian I.
+
+[272] See Balbo, _Vita di Dante_, edit. 1853. Can de la Scala, mentioned
+in the text, was one of the sons of Alberto de la Scala, Lord of Verona,
+and was born in 1292. Some account of Alberto de la Scala may be found
+in my _Venetian History_.
+
+The anecdote related here probably refers to the earlier period of
+Dante's acquaintance with the prince, about A. D. 1318-20. Balbo does
+not seem to have thought this story worthy of notice, though he
+furnishes one or two other examples of the poet's powers of retort. See
+also Cinthio's _Hecatommithi, Deca Settima, Novella settima_, edit.
+1608.
+
+
+
+
+¶ _Of hym that had sore eyes._[274] lxxxviii.
+
+
+¶ One, that had sore eies, was warned of the phisitian, that he shulde
+in any wyse forbeare drinking or els lose his eies: to whom he sayd: it
+is more pleasure for me to lose myne eies with drinkynge, than to kepe
+them for wormes to eate them oute.
+
+By this tale ye may perceyue, that it auayleth nat to warne some for
+theyr own profytte.
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[273] Orig. reads _holde_.
+
+[274]
+
+"_On Sore Eyes._
+
+_Fuscus_ was councell'd if he would preserve His eyes in perfect sight,
+drinking to swerve; But he reply'd, 'tis better that I shu'd Loose the,
+then keep them for the worms as food."
+
+_Wits Recreations_, 1640 (p. 35 of reprint 1817).
+
+
+
+
+¶ _Of the olde woman that had sore eyes._ lxxxix.
+
+
+¶ There was an olde woman, the whiche bargayned with a surgean to heale
+her sore eyes; and whanne he hadde made her eies hole, and that she sawe
+better, she couenaunted that he shulde be payde his moneye, and not
+before. So he layde a medycyne to her eyes, that shulde not be taken
+awaye the space of v dayes, in whiche tyme she myghte nat loke vppe.
+Euery daye, whan he came to dresse her, he bare awaye some what of her
+householde stouffe, table clothes, candelstickes and disshes. He lefte
+no thinge, that he coulde carye clene. So whan her eies were hole, she
+loked vp, and sawe that her householde stouffe was caryede awaye. She
+sayde to the surgian, that came and required his money for his labour:
+syr, my promise was to pay you, whan ye made me se better than I did
+before. That is trouth, quod he. Mary, quod she, but I se worse nowe
+than I did. Before ye layde medicins to myn eies, I sawe moche fayre
+stouffe in myn house, and now I se nothinge at all.
+
+
+
+
+¶ _Of hym that had the custodi of a warde._ xc.
+
+
+¶ A certayn man, that had the custody of a ward and his goodes, and in
+shorte space had spente all awaye, was by the gouernour of the cite
+commanded to bring in his bookes of _Introitus et exitus_, that is to
+saye, of entraunce and layenge oute, and to gyue accompte of the
+orphlins[275] goodes. So whan he came, he shewed fyrste his mouthe, and
+sayde, here it wente in: and after he shewed vp his ****, and sayde:
+here hit wente out, and other bookes of _Introitus et exitus_ I haue
+none.
+
+
+
+
+¶ _Of the excellent paynter, that had foule children._ xci.
+
+
+¶ There was a peinter in Rome that was an excellent counnynge man, and
+bycause he had foule children, one sayde to him: by my feyth, I maruayle
+that you paynte so goodelye, and gette so foule chyldren. Yea, quod the
+peynter, I make my chyldren in the darke, and I peynte those fygures by
+daye lyght.[276]
+
+[275] See the new edition of Nares _in voce_. _Orphlin_ is merely a
+contraction of the French _orphelin_.
+
+[276]
+
+"A Skilfull Painter such rare pictures drew, That every man his
+workemanship admir'd:
+
+
+
+So neere the life in beautie, forme and hew, As if dead Art 'gainst
+Nature had conspir'd. Painter, sayes one, thy wife's a pretty woman, I
+muse such ill-shapt children thou hast got, Yet mak'st such pictures as
+their likes makes no man, I prethee tell the cause of this thy lot?
+Quoth he, I paint by day when it is light, And get my children in the
+darke at night."--
+
+Taylor's _Sculler_, 1612 (Works, 1630, iii. 22).
+
+
+
+
+¶ _Of the scoffer that made a man a south sayer._ xcii.
+
+
+¶ There was a mery scoffynge felowe on a tyme, the whiche toke on him to
+teach a man to be a south sayer. Whan they were agreedde, what he shuld
+haue for his labour, the scoffer sayde to the man: holde! eate this
+rounde pellet, and I warant thou shalte be a south sayer. The man toke
+and put it in his mouth, and began to champe theron, but hit sauered so
+ill, that he spyt it out forth with, and said: phy! this pellet, that
+thou gyueste me to eate, sauereth all of a *****: Thou sayst trouth
+(quod the scoffer), nowe thou arte a south sayer; and therefore paye me
+my money.[277]
+
+
+
+
+¶ _Of the marchaunt of Florence called Charles._ xciii.
+
+
+¶ A marchaunt of Florence, called Charles, came frome Auignone to Rome;
+and as he sate at souper with a great company, one asked him how the
+Florentins at Auignone fared? He sayde they were merye and gladde: for
+they that dwelle there a yere (quod he) be as men that were franticke
+and out of theyr myndes. Than an other, that sate at souper with them,
+asked this Charles, how longe he had dwelled there. He answerde: vi
+monethes. Charles (quod he that asked him the question), thou haste a
+great wytte: for hit, that other be about xii monethes, thou hast
+fulfylled in halfe a yere.
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[277] See _Scoggin's Jests_, p. 28 (edit. 1796).
+
+
+
+
+¶ _Of the chesshire man called Eulyn._ xciiii.
+
+
+¶ Ther dwelled a man in Chesshyre called Eulyn, whiche vsed to go to the
+towne many tymes; and there he wolde sytte drynkyng tyl xii of the
+clocke at nyghte, and than go home. So on a tyme he caryed a lyttell
+boye his sonne on his shulder with him, and whan the chylde fell a slepe
+about ix of the clocke, the ale wyfe brought him to bed with her
+chyldren. At mydnyghte Eulyn wente home, and thought no more of his
+chylde. As sone as he came home, his wyfe asked for her chyld. Whan she
+spake of the chylde, he loked on his shulder; and whan he sawe he was
+not ther, he said he wist nat where he was. Out vpon the, horson (quod
+she), thou hast let mi child fal in to the water (for he passed ouer the
+water of Dee at a brige). Thou list,[278] hore (quod he): for if he had
+fallen into the water, I shuld haue hard him plump.
+
+
+
+
+¶ _Of him that desired to be set vpon the pillori._ xcv.
+
+
+¶ There were iii loytteringe felowes fell in companye on a tyme, the
+whiche wente so longe to gether tylle all theyr money was spente. Whan
+their money was gone, one of them sayd: what shal we do now? By my faith
+(quod an other), if I might come where preace of people were, I coulde
+get moneye inough for vs. And I (quod the iii) can assemble people to
+gether lyghtly. So whan they came in to a lyttelle towne, where a newe
+pillory was sette vp, he, that sayde he coude lyghtly assemble people to
+gether, went to the bayly of the towne whiche was a boucher, and desyred
+him, that he wolde gyue him leaue to haue the maidenheed of the pyllory.
+Whiche requeste at the fyrste abasshed the bayllye: for he wyst not what
+he mente therby; wherfore he toke counsayle of his neighbours, what was
+best to do, and they bade him set vp the knaue, and spare nat. So whan
+he was on the pillorye, he loked aboute, and sawe his ii felowes busy in
+the holes of the bouchers aprons, where thei vsed to put theyr money.
+Than he said: ther now, go to a pace. The people gaped vp styll and
+laughed; and whan he saw that his felowes had sped their maters, and
+were going away, he said to the peple: now turne the pilori ones about,
+and than I wyl com downe. So they laughing hartily did. Whan the felow
+was com downe from the pyllory, the baylie sayde to hym: by my faythe,
+thou arte a good felowe, and by cause thou haste made vs so good sporte,
+holde I wyll gyue the a grote to drynke, and so putte his hande in the
+hole of his apron. But there he founde neuer a penye. Cockes[279] armes!
+(quod the bayllye) my pourse is pycked, and my moneye is gone. Syr
+(quod the felowe), I truste ye wyll beare me recorde, that I haue hit
+nat. No, by the masse, quod he, thou were on the pyllorie the whyle.
+Than, no force, quod the felow, and wente his waye.
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[278] Liest.
+
+[279] (?) God's alms. Browne calls this a _dunghill_ oath:--
+
+"With that the _Miller_ laughing brush'd his cloathes, Then swore by
+Cocke and other dung-hill oathes."
+
+_Britannias Pastorals_, lib. i. p. 100 (ed. 1625).
+
+It is very commonly found in the early dramatists, and long before the
+statute of James the First, _By cock_ and similar phrases were used, in
+order to evade the charge of profaning the name of the Deity. It is of
+particularly frequent occurrence in Skelton's _Magnyfycence_:--
+
+"_Cr_[afty] _Con_[veyance]. Cockes armes, thou shalt kepe the brewhouse
+boule.
+
+_Fol_[ye]. But may I drynke thereof whylest that I stare?"
+
+_Magnyfycence_ (Skelton's Works, ed. Dyce, i. 268).
+
+But this writer seems to have employed it rather fantastically than from
+any desire to soften the oath; for elsewhere in the same piece we find
+_By God, Goddes fote_, &c. The practice of swearing had grown to such a
+pitch in the time of Taylor the Water-Poet, that that writer says
+(_Against Cursing and Swearing_, Works, 1630, i. 50):--"If the penalty
+of twelve pence for every oath had been duly paid (as the statute hath
+in that case provided) I doe verily beleeve that all the coyned money in
+England would have been forfeited that way." Whitford, in his _Werke for
+Housholders_, first printed about 1528 (edit. 1533, sign. c. ii et
+seqq.), relates several remarkable judgments as having fallen, within
+his personal knowledge, on profane swearers, who were as plentiful and
+as reckless in the time of Henry VIII. as they were a century later.
+
+
+
+
+¶ _Of the wydowes daughter that was sent to the abbot with a couple of
+capons._ xcvi.
+
+
+¶ There was an abbot that had a wydowe to his tenant, which wydow on a
+tyme sent her doughter with a couple of capons to the abbotte. And whan
+the mayden came with her present, she founde the abbot syttyng at dyner,
+to whom she sayd: moch good dutte[280] the, my lorde! Ha! welcome,
+mayden, quod he. My lorde (quod she), my mother hath sent the here a
+couple of capons. God a mercy,[281] mayden, quod he. And so he made her
+to be sette downe atte his owne table to eate some meate. Amonge other
+meates, the abbotte had than a grene goose with sorell sauce, wherof he
+dyd eate. So one, that sat at the abbottes tables, gaue the rompe of the
+goose to the mayde to picke theron. She toke the rompe in her hande, and
+bycause she sawe the abbot and other wete their meate in the sorell
+sauce, she sayde: my lorde, I pray the gyue me leue to wete myn rompe in
+thy grene sauce.
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[280] Do it.
+
+
+
+
+¶ _Of the two men, that dranke a pynte of whyte wyne to gether._ xcvii.
+
+
+¶ There came two homely men of the countreye in to a tauerne on a tyme
+to drinke a pynte of wine. So they satte stylle, and wyste not what wyne
+to calle for. At last, herynge euerye man call for white wyne as clere
+as water of the rocke, they bad the drawer brynge them a pynte of whyte
+wyne as clere as water of the rocke. The drawer, seyng and perceyuyng by
+their wordes that they were but blont felowes, he brought them a pinte
+of clere water. The one of them fylled the cuppe, and dranke to his
+felow, and sayd: holde, neighbour, by masse, chadde[282] as lefe drynke
+water, saue only for the name of wyne.[283]
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[281] God thank you.
+
+[282] _i.e._ I had.
+
+[283] The beverage of which these persons are here supposed to partake
+was probably what, in Charles the First's time, was called _white wine_;
+which, if diluted, as was no doubt very commonly done, would present a
+very watery aspect. A very curious account of the wines in vogue during
+the reigns of Elizabeth and James I. is given by Taylor the Water-Poet
+in his _Praise of Hempseed_. Cartwright, in his _Ordinary_, has the
+following passage, describing the various sorts of wine used in his
+day:--
+
+"_Hearsay._ Thou hast forgotten Wine, Lieutenant, wine.
+
+_Slicer._ Then to avoid the grosse absurdity Of a dry Battel, 'cause
+there must some bloud Be spilt (on th' enemies side, I mean) you may
+Have there a Rundlet of brisk Claret, and As much of Aligant, the same
+quantitie Of Tent would not be wanting, 'tis a wine Most like to bloud.
+Some shall bleed fainter colours, As Sack, and white wine. Some that
+have the itch (As there are Taylors still in every Army) Shall run with
+Renish, that hath Brimstone in't."
+
+_Aligant_ mentioned in this extract was the wine grown in Alicante, a
+province of the ancient Kingdom of Valencia. Sometimes it was spelled
+Aligaunt or Aligaunte:--
+
+"_Pseud._ In Ganges Iles I thirty rivers saw Fill'd with sweet nectar.
+
+_Lach._ O dainty lyer!
+
+_Pseud._ Thirty rivers more With Aligaunte."
+
+_Timon_, a Play, p. 39.
+
+In the _Privy Purse Expenses of Henry VIII._, under date of Feb. 16,
+1530, occurs the following item:--"Paied to the S'geant of the Sello'
+for iii tonne of white wyne of galiake (Gaillac in Languedoc)." See also
+_the Northumberland House-Hold Book_, ed. 1827, p. 414; and Taylor's
+_Penniless Pilgrimage_, 1618 (_Works_, 1630, i. 136).
+
+
+
+
+¶ _Of the doctour that went with the fouler to catche byrdes._ xcviii.
+
+
+¶ There was a doctour on a tyme, whiche desired a fouler, that went to
+catche byrdes with an owle, that he might go with hym. The byrder was
+content, and dressed hym with bowes, and set hym by his oule, and bad
+hym say nothynge. Whan he saw the byrdes alyght a pace, he sayde: there
+be many byrdes alyghted, drawe thy nettes; where with the byrdes flewe
+awaye. The byrder was very angry, and blamed him greatly for his
+speakyng. Than he promysed to hold his peace. Whan the byrder was in
+agayn, and many byrdes were alyghted, mayster doctour said in latyn:
+_aves permultæ adsunt_; wherwith the byrdes flewe away. The byrder came
+out ryghte angrye and sore displeased, and sayde, that by his bablynge
+he had twyse loste his pray.[284] Why, thynkest thou, foole (quod the
+doctour), that the birdes do vnderstand latin? This doctour thought that
+the vnderstandynge, and nat the noyse, hadde feared awaye the byrdes.
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[284] "He that will take the bird, must not skare it."--Herbert's
+_Outlandish Proverbs_, 1640, No. 41.
+
+
+
+
+¶ _Of hym that vndertoke to teache an asse to rede._ xcix.
+
+
+¶ There was a certayne tyran,[285] the which, to pylle one of his
+subiectes of his goodes, commaunded hym to teache an asse to spelle and
+rede. He sayd it was impossible, except he might haue space inough
+therto. And whan the tyran bade hym aske what tyme he wolde, he desyred
+x yeres respite. But yet, bycause he vndertoke a thynge impossible,
+euerye bodye laughed hym to scorne. He tourned towarde his frendes and
+sayde: I am nothynge affrayde: for in that space, either I, the asse, or
+elles my lorde may dye.
+
+By whiche tale appereth, that it is holsome to take leyser inough aboute
+a thynge that is harde to do, specially whanne a man can nat chose to
+take hit on hande.[286]
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[285] This word, which frequently occurs in the course of the present
+work, must be understood to be merely equivalent to the Greek [Greek:
+tyrannos], a prince whose authority is unlimited by constitutional
+restraints. There seems to be some ground for the supposition that
+[Greek: tyrannos] is nothing more than the Doric form of [Greek:
+koipanos]. It may be mentioned that in middle-Greek the word _despota_
+([Greek: despotês]) bore no harsher meaning than that of a _petty
+prince_, acting independently, but acknowledging a suzerain. It is to be
+found in this sense, I think, in almost all the Byzantine historians.
+
+[286] _i.e._ when the undertaking is no matter of choice.
+
+
+
+
+¶ _Of the fryer that confessed the woman._[287] c.
+
+
+¶ As a fayre yong woman of the towne of Amilie confessed her to a
+friere, he beganne to burne so in concupiscence of the flesshe, that he
+entyced her to consente to his wylle. And they agreed, that she shulde
+feyne her selfe sycke, and sende for hym to shryue her. Within iij
+dayes after, she feyned her selfe sycke, and laye downe in her bedde,
+and sente for the same fryere to shryue her. Whan the friere was come,
+and euery body voided out of the chambre, he went to bedde to the woman,
+and there laye a longe space with her. Her husbande, suspectyng so longe
+a confession, came in to the chaumbre; whose sodayne comynge so sore
+abasshed the fryer, that he went his way and lefte his breche behynde
+him lyenge on the bedde. Whan her husbande sawe the breche, he sayd a
+loude, this was nat a frier, but an aduouterer; and for great
+abbomination of the dede he called all his householde to se hit. And
+forthe with he went and complayned to the warden of that couent, and
+thretned to slee hym that had done the dede. The wardyen, to appease his
+anger, sayde, that suche publysshynge was to the shame of hym and his
+householde. The man said, the breche was so openly founde, that he coude
+nat hyde it. The warden to remedy the matter sayde, it was saynt
+Fraunces' breche, an holy relyke that his brother caryed thither for the
+womans helth, and that he and his couent wolde come and fetche hit home
+with procession. With those wordes the man was contente. Anone the
+warden and his frieres, with the crosse before them, and arayed in holye
+vestementes, went to the house and toke vppe the breche; and two of
+them, on a clothe of sylke, bare it solemlye on hyghe betwene theyr
+handes, and euerye bodye that mette them kneled downe and kyssed it. So,
+with great ceremony and songe, they brought it home to their couente.
+But after, whanne this was knowen, ambassadoures of the same citie wente
+and complayned therof before the Holy See Apostolyke.
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[287] This is a very favourite tale with the early Italian novelists. In
+Dunlop's _History of Fiction_, ii. 364-5 (Second Edition), the incident
+is said to have been founded on a real adventure of a French priest. In
+the following extract from a highly curious pamphlet, it appears in a
+different form:--
+
+"There was a rich Burgess of Antwerp, a Mercer by his trade, who was a
+Bawd to his own Wife (though it was against his will or knowledge), but
+I blame him not, for I doubt hee hath many more fellowes as innocent and
+ignorant as himselfe, but this was the case, his wife wearing corke
+shooes, was somewhat light-heel'd, and like a foul player at Irish,
+sometimes she would beare a man too many, and now and then make a wrong
+Entrance. The summe was, that shee lov'd a Doctor of Physicke well, and
+to attaine his company shee knew no better or safer way, than to faine
+her selfe sicke, that hee under the colour of visitation might feele her
+pulses, and apply such cordiall Remedies as might either ease or cure
+her. In briefe, the Doctor being sent for, comes and finds the Mercer
+her husband walking in his shop with a neighbour of his, where after a
+leash of _Congees_, and a brace of _Baza los manus_, the Mercer told him
+that his Wife is a languishing sicke woman, and withall entreats him to
+take the paines to walke up the staires, and minister some comfort unto
+her: Master Doctor, who knew her disease by the Symptomes, ascends up
+into the Chamber to his longing patient, staying an houre with her,
+applying such directions and refections, that her health was upon the
+sudden almost halfe recovered; so taking his leave of her (with promise
+of often visitation) he comes downe into the shope, where the guiltlesse
+_Bawd_ her husband was, who demanding of the Doctor how all did above;
+truely quoth hee, much better than when I came, but since I went up,
+your wife hath had two such strange violent fits upon her, that it would
+have grieved your very heart to have seene but part of one of
+them."--Taylor's _Bawd_ (Works, 1630, ii. 94).
+
+
+
+
+¶ _Howe a chaplen of Louen deceyued an vsurer._ ci.
+
+
+¶ In the towne of Louen[288] was a chaplayne called Antonye, of whose
+merye sayenges and doynges is moche talkynge. As he mette on a daye one
+or two of his acqueyntaunce, he desyred them home with him to dyner: but
+meate had he none, nor money. There was no remedy but to make a shefte.
+Forth he goth, and in to an vserers kytchynne, with whome he was
+famylier; and priueilye vnder his gowne he caryed oute the potte with
+meate, that was sod[289] for the vsurers dyner. Whan he came home, he
+putte oute the meate, and made the pot to be scoured bryght, and sente a
+boye with the same pot to the vserer to borowe ii grotes theron, and
+bade the boye take a bylle of his hande, that suche a brasse potte be
+delyuered hym. The boy did as he was bydde; and with the money that he
+hadde of the vsurer, he bought wine for theyr dyner. Whan the vsurer
+shulde go to dyner, the potte and meate was gone, wherfore he alto
+chydde his mayde. She said there came no bodye of all the daye, but syr
+Antony.[290] They asked him, and he sayde he had none. At length, they
+sayde in erneste, he and no man els had the pot. By my fayth (quod he),
+I borowed suche a potte vpon a tyme, but I sente hit home agayne; and so
+called witnes to them, and sayde: lo, howe peryllous it is to deale with
+men nowe a dayes withoute wrytynge. They wolde lay thefte to my charge,
+an' if I had no wrytinge of the vsurers hande; and so he shewed oute the
+wrytinge. And whan they vnderstode the disceyte, there was good
+laughynge.
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[288] Louvaine.
+
+[289] Cooked.
+
+
+
+
+¶ _Of the same chaplen and one that spited him._ cii.
+
+
+¶ The same Antony dyned on a tyme with a sorte of merye felowes, amonge
+whome there was one that greatly spited[291] him in his scoffes and
+merye iestes. And as they sate laughynge and sporting, one asked whiche
+was the most reuerent part of mans bodye? One sayd the eie, an other the
+nose; but Antony, bycause he knew his enuyer wolde name the clene
+contrarye, sayde the mouth was the most reuerent parte. Naye, quod his
+enuyer, the parte that we sytte on is the moste reuerent; and bicause
+they meruayled whye, he made this reason, that he was moste honourable
+amonge the common people, that was fyrste sette; and the parte that he
+named was fyrste sette. Whiche sayenge contented them, and they laughed
+merelye. He was nat a littell proude of his sayenge, and that he hadde
+ouer come Antonye. This past forth. Four or fyue dayes after, they were
+bothe bydde to dyner in a nother place. Whan Antony cam in, he found his
+enuier, that sat talkynge with other, whyle the diner was makynge redy.
+Antony tourned his backe to him and lette a great ***** agaynst his
+face. His enuyer, greatlye disdayninge, sayde: walke knaue with a
+myschiefe, where hast thou ben nourtered? Why and dysdaynest thou, quod
+Antony? if I had saluted the with my mouthe, thou woldest haue saluted
+me agayne; and nowe I grete the with that parte of my body, that by
+thyn owne sayenge is moste honourable, thou callest me knaue.
+
+Thus he got agayne his praise, that he hadde loste before.
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[290] It is scarcely necessary to mention that formerly all priests were
+styled Sir. One of John Heywood's interludes is called: _A Play between
+Johan the Husband, Tyb the Wife, and Sir Johan the Prest_. In an old
+ballad in the Ashmole Collection, beginning, "Adew! my pretty pussy,"
+there is this passage:--
+
+"But the gyrld ys gon, syr, With a chokynge bon, syr, For she hath got
+Syr John, syr, And ys oure vyckars wyff."
+
+[291] Thwarted, crossed.
+
+
+
+
+¶ _Of the olde man that put him selfe in his sonnes handes._ ciii.
+
+
+¶ There was a certayne olde man, whiche let his sonne to mary, and to
+brynge his wyfe and his chyldren to dwelle with him, and to take all the
+house in to his owne hande and gydinge. So a certeyne tyme the olde man
+was sette and kepte the vpper ende of the table; afterwarde they sette
+him lower, aboute the myddes of the table; thyrdely they set him at the
+nether ende of the table; fourthly he was set amonge the seruantes;
+fyfthly they made him a couche behynde the halle dore, and cast on him
+an olde sacke clothe. Nat longe after, the olde man died. Whan he was
+deed, the yonge mans sonne came to him and sayde: father, I prey you
+gyue me this olde sacke cloth, that was wonte to couer my graundfather.
+What woldest thou do with it, sayde his father? forsoth, sayd the
+chylde, it shall serue to couer you whan ye be olde, lyke as it did my
+grandfather;--at whiche wordes of the chylde this man ought to haue ben
+ashamed and sory. For it is wryten: sonne, reuerence and helpe thy
+father in his olde age, and make him not thoughtfull and heuy in his
+lyfe, and though he dote, forgyue it him. He that honoreth his father,
+shall lyue the longer, and shall reioyce in his owne chyldren.[292]
+
+
+
+
+¶ _Of hym that had a flye peynted in his shilde._ ciiii.
+
+
+¶ A yonge man, that on a tyme went a warfare, caused a flye to be
+peynted in his shylde, euen of the very greatnes of a flye; wherfore
+some laughed at him and sayde: ye do well, because ye wyll not be
+knowen. Yes, quod he, I do it because I wyll be knowen and spoken of.
+For I wyll approch so nere our enemys, that they shall well decerne what
+armes I beare.
+
+Thus it, that was layde to him for a blame of cowardise, was by his
+sharpe wytte turned to a shewe of manlynes; and the noble and valiaunt
+Archidamus sayde: shotte of crossebowes, slynges, and suche lyke ingins
+of warre are no proffe of manhode; but whan they come and fyghte hande
+to hande, appereth who be men and who be not.
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[292] The original of this is the Fabliau of _La Hence Partie_, in
+Barbazan's Collection. The story has been used by Lando, in his _Varii
+Componimenti_, 1552, 8vo.
+
+
+
+
+¶ _Of th' emperour Augustus and the olde men._ cv.
+
+
+¶ As the noble emperour Augustus on a time cam in to a bayne,[293] he
+behelde an olde man, that hadde done good seruice in the warres,
+frotte[294] him selfe a gaynste a marble pyller for lacke of one to
+helpe to wasshe him. Th' emperour, moued with pite, gaue an annuite to
+fynde hym and a seruaunt to wayte vpon him. Whan this was knowen, a
+great sorte of olde men drewe them to gether, and stode where as the
+emperour shulde passe forth by, euerye one of them rubbynge his owne
+backe with a marble stone. The emperour demaunded why they dyd so?
+Bycause, noble emperour, sayd they, we be not able to kepe seruantes to
+do it. Why, quod the emperour, one of you maye clawe and frote an others
+backe well inough.
+
+
+
+
+¶ _Phocions oration to the Athen[ian]s._[295] cvi.
+
+
+¶ Phocion on a daye, treatynge a longe oration to the people of Athenes,
+plesed them very wel; and whan he sawe that they all to gether allowed
+his wordes, he tourned to his frendes and sayd: haue I vnwarely spoken
+any hurte? So moche he perswaded hym selfe, that nothyng coude plese
+them that was well and truely spoken.
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[293] Bath.
+
+[294] Rub, from the French, _frotter_.
+
+[295] Phocion, the celebrated Athenian patriot, b. 402 B.C. d. 317 B.C.
+Full particulars about him may be found in Mr. Grote's _History of
+Greece_, and in Dr. Smith's _Dictionary of Classical Biography_.
+
+
+
+
+¶ _Of Demosthenes and Phocion._ cvii.
+
+
+¶ Demosthenes sayde to Phocion: if the Atheniens falle ones in a madnes,
+they woll slee the. To whom he answered: ye, surely, if they waxe madde
+they woll slee me; but an' they waxe ones wyse, they wyll slee thee. For
+Demosthenes spake moche to the peoples pleasure, and spake thynges
+rather delytable than holsome.
+
+
+
+
+¶ _Of Phocion that refused Alexanders gyfte._ cviii.
+
+
+¶ What tyme Alexander, kynge of Macedone, sent an hundred besauntes of
+golde for a gyfte to Phocion, he asked them that brought the money, how
+it came that Alexander sent it to hym alone, seyng there were many other
+men in Athenes beside him. They answered: bycause he iugeth you alone to
+be an honest and a good man. Therfore, quod he, let hym suffre me to be
+taken to be suche one styll.[296]
+
+Who wolde not wonder at the cleane and vncorrupt courage of this
+Phocion? He was but a poore man, and yet the greatnes of the gyft coude
+nothinge moue hym. Besyde also he shewed, that they the whiche, while
+they mynistre the common welthe, absteyne not from takyng of gyftes,
+neyther be nor ought not to be taken for good men.
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[296] Orig. reads unnecessarily, _and to be such one styll_.
+
+
+
+
+¶ _Of Denyse the tyranne and his sonne._ cix.
+
+
+¶ What tyme Denyse the tyranne vnderstode that his sonne, that shulde
+reigne after hym, had commytted aduoutry with a worshypfull mans wyfe,
+angerly he sayde to hym: dyd I, thy father, euer suche a dede? The yonge
+man answered: no, ye had not a kynge to your father. Nor thou, sayde
+Denyse, art not lyke to haue a sonne a kynge, excepte thou leaue
+commyttynge of suche wyckedde dedes.
+
+
+
+
+¶ _Of Pomponius the Romayne, that was brought before Mithridates._ cx.
+
+
+¶ Pomponius, a noble man of Rome sore hurte and wounded, was taken and
+brought before Mithridates, whiche asked hym this questyon: if I cure
+and heale thy woundes, wylte thou than be my frende? He answered hym
+agayne thus: if thou wylte be a frende to the Romaynes, thou shalt than
+haue me thy frende.
+
+This was a noble stomacke, that preferred the welth of his countrey
+before his owne helth.
+
+
+
+
+¶ _Of Titus and the iester._ cxi.
+
+
+¶ Suetonius sheweth that Titus the father prouoked a scoffer, that stode
+iesting with euery body, that he shulde lyke wyse saye somewhat to hym.
+I woll, sayde the scoffer, after ye haue done youre easement. He iested
+at the emperours countinance; he loked alway as one that streyned hym
+selfe.
+
+On suche a visaged man writeth Martiall:
+
+  _Utere lactucis, ac mollibus utere maluis._
+  _Nam faciem durum Phebe cacantis habes._
+
+
+
+
+¶ _Of Scipio Nasica and Ennius the poete._[297] cxii.
+
+
+¶ Whan Scipio Nasica came on a tyme to speake with Ennius the Poete, he
+asked his mayde at the dore, if he were within; and she sayde, he was
+not at home. But Nasica perceyued, that her mayster badde her say so,
+and that he was within; but, for that tyme dissemblynge the matter, he
+wente his waye. Within a fewe dayes after, Ennius came to Nasica, and
+knockynge at the dore, asked if he were within. Nasica hym selfe spake
+oute a loude and sayd, he was not at home. Than sayde Ennius: what,
+manne, thynke you that I knowe not your voyce? Wherevnto Nasica
+aunsweredde and sayde: what a dishoneste man be you? Whan I sought you,
+I beleued your mayde, that sayde ye were not at home, and ye wyll not
+beleue me myn owne selfe.
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[297] The celebrated Latin poet. "Quintus Ennius," Gellius tells us (_N.
+A._ lib. xvii. cap. 17), "said he had three hearts, because he
+understood the Greek, Oscan, and Latin languages."
+
+
+
+
+¶ _Of Fabius Minutius and his sonne._ cxiii.
+
+
+¶ Fabius Minutius was of his sonne exhorted on a tyme to gette and
+conquere a place that was mete for them, and to theyr great auauntage,
+the whiche thynge he sayde, they myght do with the losse of a fewe men.
+Wyll ye be one of those fewe, sayde Fabius to his sonne?
+
+Therby shewynge, that it is a poynt of a good capiteyne to care for the
+lest of his souldiours, and to saue them as nere as he can.[298]
+
+Th' emperour Antoni[n]us Pius loued moche this sentence of Scipio,
+whiche wolde ofte saye: I hadde leauer saue one citezen, thanne slee a
+thousande ennemyes.
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[298] Orig. reads _coude_.
+
+
+
+
+¶ _Of Aurelian, that was displeased, bycause the cite Tyna was closed
+agaynst hym._ cxiiii.
+
+
+¶ What tyme the emperour Aurelian came to the cytie Tyana, he founde hit
+closed agaynste hym; wherfore all angerly he sayde: I woll not leaue a
+dogge a lyue in this towne;--whiche wordes reioyced moche his menne of
+warre, by cause of the great praye and botye that they thoughte to wynne
+there. One of the citezins, called Heradamon, for feare lest he shuld be
+slayne amonge the other, betrayed the cyte. Whan Aurelian had taken the
+cite, the fyrste thinge he dyd, he slewe Heradamon the traytour to his
+contrey; and to his souldiors that came to hym and desyred, that they
+myght accordynge to his promyse, ouerren and spoile the cyte, he
+answered: go to, I sayde I wolde nat leaue a dogge a lyue; spare nat,
+kyll al the dogges in the towne.
+
+  By this meane the gentyl prince rewarded
+  the traytoure accordinge to his
+  deseruinge, and dispointed
+  the couetise of his
+  souldyours.[299]
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[299] So far extends Berthelet's edition, of which the colophon is:
+Imprinted at London in Flete Strete in the house of Thomas Berthelet
+nere to the Cundite, at the sygne of Lucrece. ¶ Cum priuilegio. The
+remaining 26 tales are from the Ed. of 1567.
+
+
+
+
+¶ _Of the Nunne forced that durst not crie._ cxv.
+
+
+¶ A certayne Nunne with swellyng of hir bealie was bewrayed to haue
+companied with a man. And beyng called before the couente, was right
+sharpely rebuked by the Abbesse, for puttinge of their house to so great
+a shame. She, to excuse hir-selfe, sayde, she was forced by a yonge man,
+that came into hir bedde chaumbre, agaynst whom (beynge stronger than
+she) it was in vain for hir to striue, and force coulde not be imputed
+to hir for a cryme. Then sayde the Abbesse: thou mought est haue bene
+helde excused, if thou haddest cryed. The Nunne sayed: so woulde I haue
+doone, had it not beene in our Dortour[300] where to crye is contrary to
+our Religion.
+
+
+
+
+¶ _Of him that sayde he was the Diuelles man._ cxvi.
+
+
+¶ In the ciuile seditious time of Edwarde the fourth and Henry the
+syxte,[301] one chaunced to mete with a company, that quickly asked him:
+whose man art thou? Kinge Edwardes, quoth he. Art thou so (quoth they)?
+and all [set] to beate him: For they were of Henrie's syde. Wherefore to
+the nexte company that mette him and demaunded whose man he was, he
+answered: kyng Henries. Art thou so (quoth they), and likewyse all [set]
+to bete him. For they were on Edwardes parte. The Felow, thus sore
+beaten, went foorth, and met with another route, who asked him: whose
+man art thou? He, beynge at his wittes ende what to saye, aunswered: the
+Dyuelles man. Than the dyuell goe[302] with thee (saide they). Amen
+(quoth he): For it is the best maister that I [have] serued this daie.
+
+By this tale ye maye perceiue, how greuouse and perillous all ciuyle
+sedicions be, so doubtfull may it stand, that a man can not tel on which
+side to holde. For he that now is stronger, another tyme is weaker, as
+Fortune list to turne hir wheele.
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[300] Dormitory.
+
+[301] During the Wars of the Roses. In _The First Part of Edward IV._,
+by Thomas Heywoud, 1600 (Shakesp. Soc. repr. p. 41), Hobs, the Tanner of
+Tamworth, says:--
+
+"By my troth, I know not, when I speak treason, when I do not. There's
+such halting betwixt two kings, that a man cannot go upright, but he
+shall offend t'one of them. I would God had them both, for me."
+
+
+
+
+¶ _Of the vplandishe[303] priest, that preached of Charitie._ cxvii.
+
+
+¶ A priest in the countrey, not the wysest nor the best learned,
+preached to his parisheners of charitie so vehemently, that he sayed
+plainely, that it was impossible for anye man to be saued or to come to
+heauen without charitie, except onely the kynges grace, God saue hym.
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[302] This word is in the original text printed twice by an oversight. I
+have struck out the duplicate.
+
+[303] _i.e._ a person dwelling in the uplands or mountainous districts
+where the learning of the cities had not very deeply penetrated. Hence
+the word became synonymous with ignorant and uninformed. Alexander
+Barclay's fifth eclogue is "Of the Citizen and Uplandish Man." The poem
+of _Jack Upland_ is printed in the old editions of Chaucer and in
+Wright's _Political Poems and Songs_, 1861, ii. 16. Mr. Wright assigns
+to it the date of 1401.
+
+"He hath perus'd all the impressions Of Sonnets, since the fall of
+Lucifer, And made some scurvy quaint collections Of fustian phrases, and
+_uplandish_ words."
+
+Heywood's _Fair Maid of the Exchange_, 1600.
+
+
+
+
+¶ _Another sayinge of the same preest._ cxviii.
+
+
+¶ Before the kynges Maiestyes commissioners sent[304] downe intoo the
+realme in visytacyon, it chaunced the forsayd preest among other to
+appere: to whom one of the vysytours (guessyng quickly what docter he
+was) sayde: Mayster parsone, howe spende you youre tyme? what rede you?
+Forsoothe, syr (sayd the preest), I occupy my selfe in readyng the New
+Testament. That is very well done (sayd the commissioner). But sir, I
+pray you, who made the newe Testament? That dyd (said the preest) kynge
+Henry the eyghte, God haue mercye vpon hys soule![305]
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[304] Perhaps _went_ is the true reading.
+
+[305] "What must he (the king) do then? He must be a student. He must
+write God's booke himselfe, not thinking because he is a king, but he
+hath licence to do what he will, as these worldly flatterers are wont to
+say."--_Latimer's Second Sermon before King Edward VI._ 1549.
+
+
+
+
+¶ _Of the fryer that praysed sainct Frauncis._ cxix.
+
+
+¶ A fryer, preachyng to the people, extolled saynct Frauncis aboue
+confessors, doctours, vyrgins, martyrs, prophetes, yea, and aboue one
+more than prophetes, John the Baptist, and finially aboue the
+Seraphicall order of angels ; and stil he sayd: yet let vs goe higher.
+So whan he could goe no further, exccpte he shoulde put Christe out of
+hys place, whiche the good man was halfe afrayed to do, hee sayd aloude:
+and yet we haue founde no fit place for hym. And staying a lyttell
+whyle, hee cryed out at laste, sayinge: Where shall we place this holy
+father? A frowarde felowe, standyng among the audeynce, saide: if thou
+canst find none other, than set hym here in my place: for I am weary.
+And so went his way.
+
+
+
+
+¶ _Of hym that warned his wife of wasshynge her face in foule puddell
+water._ cxx.
+
+
+¶ A man dwellyng in the countrey, takynge his iourney, bad hys wife in
+his absence playe the good husewyfe, that he at his home comyng[306]
+might finde all thynges well. Swete husbande (quoth she), commaunde
+what ye wyll, and you shall fynde me obedyense in al thynges. Dere heart
+(sayd he), I wil you no more but this one thynge, whiche is easye ynough
+to do. What is that (quoth she)? That you wasshe not your face wyth this
+water, shewing hir a puddell in a donghill, foule blacke, and stinkynge.
+As oft as she in his absence went by that puddell, hir mynde was
+meruallously moued, for what cause hir husebande so diligently warned
+hir of that thynge onely. Nor shee coulde not perswade hir selfe, but
+that there was some great thynge in it. To be brefe, it tempted hir so,
+that she wasshed, that is, she defiled hir face. She loked in the
+glasse, and was greatly displeased with hir self. Yea, and it was foure
+or fyue daies after, er shee coulde wasshe out the stynke and steinyng.
+Whan the good manne came home, hee found his wyfe very pensife and
+loking angerly. What is the matter (quoth he)? Shee at laste coulde not
+forbeare, but blamed him for warnyng hir to wasshe in that water, and
+shewed hym what had chaunced. Why wasshed you in it (quoth he)? I gaue
+you warnynge, that you shoulde not wasshe therein, to the intente this
+harme shoulde haue not happned.
+
+By thys tale ye may perceyue, that the more yee forbydde some women a
+thynge, the greater desyre they haue to do it.
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[306] _i.e._ coming home.
+
+
+
+
+¶ _Of the husbandman that caused the iudge to geue sentence agaynst him
+selfe._ cxxi.
+
+
+¶ An husbandman in Zeland came before the chiefe ruler of the countrey
+(whose bull had kyld the poore mans cow) and after he had leaue to
+speake, hee sayde: my bull leapyng ouer the dyche hath kyld your cow;
+what is the law? The ruler, mistrustyng no deceit, answered: thou muste
+paie for hir. Than with licence the poore man sayd: Sir, I failled in my
+tale: your bull hath kyld my cow. The ruler, beyng a little amoued,
+sayde: this is another matter. The poore man sayd: Verely it is all one
+thyng: and you haue truely iudged.
+
+By this tale ye perceyue, that a wyse iudge wyll first know the cause
+well, and yet will not be hasty to geue sentence. The prouerbe biddeth
+thus: Iudge righteously the cause of the pore and needy.
+
+
+
+
+¶ _Of the Italian friar that shoulde preach before the B. of Rome and
+his cardinals._ cxxii.
+
+
+¶ A famous frier in Italye, called Robert Liciens,[307] appoincted to
+preache before the bishop of Rome and his cardynals beinge in the
+pulpit, and beholdyng the bishop and his cardinals, enter into the
+churche with so great pompe, noise, and rufflyng, that no king vse[d]
+the lyke, and seyng the bishop borne by vi men, and beynge at great
+leysure set downe, and harkenyng what he would saye, he sayd nought
+elles but this: Phy on S. Peter! phy on S. Paule! and with rauyng he
+spit now on the ryght side, and nowe on the left syde: and so, without
+more ado, shouyng through the preace,[308] gat hym awaie, leauyng them
+all astonied: some thynkyng hym to bee fallen into a furie: other
+supposyng him to bee fallen into some heresy, Iewishe or Paganise
+belefe, that he so burst out intoo suche blasphemies. And whan it was
+consulted to laie hym in prison, a cardinall, who knewe his wytte, and
+loued hym, perswaded, that he shoulde fyrste be called before the bishop
+and certayne cardinals, to here what he would saye. And so beyng
+inquired, why hee burste out into so horrible blasphemies, he answered,
+that he had appointed a farre other argument: and in fewe woordes
+declared the whole summe of hys sermon. But whan I (sayde he) sawe you
+lyue so pompously, and in so great delites and pleasures: and on
+th'other side consydered, howe homely, howe peyneful, and how harde a
+lyfe the Apostles ledde, whose places you supplie, I gathered, that
+eyther they were mad, that by so sharpe a waye contended to come to
+heauen, or els that you holde[309] the streight way to hell. But of you
+that beare the keyes of heauen, I could not perswade my self to deeme
+euill. Than what els could I do, but detest theyr foolyshnes whiche,
+whan thei might after this facion haue liued gloriously in all welth and
+pleasure, wold rather all their life turment them selfes with
+watchynges, fastynges and other peynfull labours?
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[307] Better known as Roberto Caraccioli-Caraccioli. He was born in 1425
+at Licio, in the Neapolitan territory, and was thence often called
+Robertus Liciensis. Watt (_Bibliotheca Britannica_, voce _Licio_)
+mentions only his sermons: but he published several other tracts.
+
+[308] Usually spelt _prease_ or _prese_. The word signifies _crowd_. It
+occurs in this sense in Edwardes' _Damon and Pythias_, composed about
+1564.
+
+"Yet shall there no restraynt Cause me to cese, Among this prese, For to
+encrese Youre goodly name."
+
+Skelton's _Garlande of Laurell_.
+
+
+
+
+¶ _Of the doctour that sayd, in Erasmus workes were heresies._ cxxiii.
+
+
+¶ A notable doctour, preachyng in a solemne audience, sayd, that in
+Erasmus workes were certayne heresies. Who, beyng come out of the
+pulpit, was desired of a learned man to shewe foorthe some place
+hereticall. Hee aunswered, that he had neuer red Erasmus bookes: hee
+began once to reade the woorke intitled _Moria_,[310] but by reason it
+was so high a stile, he feared to fal into some heresy.
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[309] Orig. and Singer read _or els you to holde_.
+
+
+
+
+¶ _Of the frier that preached at Paules crosse agaynst Erasmus._ cxxiv.
+
+
+¶ A great clerke, noseld[311] vp in scoole doctours, not well
+vnderstanding the latin stile and phrase, that than began to florishe
+apase, and hauynge smale acquaintaunce with the noble authours of the
+latyne tongue, saide, that Erasmus, with his rhetorike and eloquence
+went about to corrupte the Byble. For this (quoth he) I dare be bolde to
+say: that the holy scripture ought not to be mingled with the eloquence
+of Tully, nor yet of Cicero.[312]
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[310] The celebrated _Moria Encomium_, of which an English version
+appeared in 1549.
+
+[311] _Nosled_ or _nousled_ is the same as _nursled_, brought up. See
+Todd's Johnson, 1827, in voce _nosled_; and Richardson's Dict. _ibid._
+The word is not in Webster or Nares.
+
+[312] The allusion in the text is probably to the paraphrastic version
+of the New Testament by Erasmus, which had then recently appeared in two
+volumes, folio (1516). The work did not appear in an English dress till
+1548.
+
+
+
+
+¶ _Of an other frier that taxed Erasmus for writyng Germana theologia._
+cxxv.
+
+
+¶ A fryer, that preached on a tyme too the people, inueighed greatly
+agaynste Erasmus, because he, in his booke called _Enchiridion_,[313]
+preysyng the Apostles doctryne, sayde, that theirs was _Germana
+theologia_, that is to saye in Englishe, the very ryght diuinitee. Lo
+(sayeth this dotishe fryer), here may ye see, what a man Erasmus is: he
+sayeth, there is no diuinite but in Germonie, where heretikes are
+specially fauored and maintayned.
+
+
+
+
+¶ _Of an other that inueighed agaynst the same Erasmus._ cxxvi.
+
+
+¶ Because Erasmus wrote, that it wer better for the monke of the
+charterhouse to eate fleshe than to suffer his brother _Venire in
+capitis discrimen_, that is to saye, than his brother should stand in
+ieoperdie of his life: this dotishe doctour interpretat his wordes thus:
+The charterhouse monke wer better eate fleshe, than his head shoulde a
+littell ake.[314]
+
+By these tales we may se, what peuysshe preachers haue been in this
+world: And be thei neuer so foolishe: yet the ignorant people, lacking
+lerninge to iudge suche matters, thinke them selues well taught, when
+they be cleane misledde.
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[313] _Enchiridion Militis Christiani._ An English translation of this
+work appeared in 1533, in which Enchiridion is rendered _The Handsome
+Weapon_.
+
+[314] These pleasantries at the expense of the preachers in the time of
+Henry VIII. bear perhaps a little hard upon the fraternity. The
+rendering of Latin authors was not much improved a century or two later.
+
+
+
+
+¶ _Of kyng Richarde the iii, and the Northern man._[315] cxxvii.
+
+
+¶ After kyng Richard the iii had vsurped the crowne of England, he, to
+staye and stablishe the people, that sore murmured against his dooynges,
+sent for fyue thousand men out of the North partes vp to London: and as
+he was mustryng of them in Thickettes feelde, one of the souldiers, cam,
+and clappynge the kyng on the shoulder, said: Diccon, Diccon, by the
+mis, ays blith that thaust kyng![316]
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[315] The Northern men seem to have been formerly favourite subjects for
+story tellers and ballad-writers. Martin Parker published a poem called
+"The King and a Poore Northern man," and there is a ballad entitled "The
+King and the Northern man." Neither has anything to do with the present
+tale. No. 95 of the _C. Mery Talys_, of which only a small fragment is
+at present known to exist, is entitled, "Of the Northern man that was
+all harte."
+
+[316] "Richard, Richard, by the mass I am glad that thou art king!"
+
+
+
+
+¶ _Of the Canon and his man._ cxxviii
+
+
+¶ A canon in Hereforde, that kepte a good house, toke into his seruice a
+gentilmans sonne, to trane and bryng hym vp, to wayte and serue at the
+table.[317] So on a day the sayde canon, hauynge many strangers at his
+bourd, made a signe to his man, that there wanted some thyng. He, nought
+perceuyng, cam to his maister and sayde: Sir, what lacke you? Seest not,
+man (quoth he), they haue no bread on the table? Sir, saide his man,
+there was enough euen now, if they woulde haue let it alone.
+
+
+
+
+¶ _Of the same Canon and his sayd man._ cxxix.
+
+
+¶ The same Canon, an other tyme, bad his sayd seruant after supper, go
+downe and draw a cuppe of wyne, to make his guestes drinke at theyr
+departing, whom he had before taught, how he shuld take of the couer. So
+the yong man, bringyng the candell in one hand, and the cup of wine
+couered in the other, offred it vnto them. His mayster, seyng that,
+made a token to hym. He, not knowyng wherfore, sayd: Sir, what woulde
+you haue? Take of the couer (quoth his mayster). Then holde you the
+candell (saide the seruaunt).
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[317] A very usual practice in those days. At p. 254 of the
+_Northumberland House-hold Book_ (ed. 1827) we find:--
+
+"Two Gentlemen waiters for the Bordes Ende and a servaunt betwixt theim
+iii--Hannsmen and Yonge Gentlemen at their Fryndes fynding v (as to say
+Hanshmen [Henchmen] iii and yong Gentlemen iii)."
+
+Orig. and Singer, for _trane_ read _trade_.
+
+
+
+
+¶ _Of the gentilman that checked hys seruant for talke of ryngyng._
+cxxx.
+
+
+¶ A gentilman, brought vp at London in an In of court, was maryed, and
+kepte an house in the countrey: and as he sate at supper with his
+neyghbours aboute hym, vpon an alhalow-daie at night, amonge other
+communication, he talked of the solemne ringyng of the belles (as was
+the vsage than). His man, that waited on the table, sayd to his maister:
+sir, he that were this nyghte in London, shoulde here wonderfull
+ryngyng, and so began a tale. Hys mayster, not content with his talke,
+said: Hold thy peace, foole, wilt thou tel me of ringing in London? I
+know it (I trow) a lyttell better than thou. For I haue beene there an C
+alhalow nyghtes.
+
+
+
+
+¶ _Of the blynde man and his boye._ cxxxi.
+
+
+¶ A certayne poore blynde man[318] in the countrey was ledde by a curst
+boy to an house where a weddyng was: so the honest folkes gaue him
+meate, and at last one gaue hym a legge of a good fatte goose: whiche
+the boy receyuyng kept a syde, and did eate it vp hym selfe. Anon the
+blynde man saide: Iacke, where is the leg of the goose? What goose (quod
+the boy)? I haue none. Thou liest (quoth the blinde man), I dyd smell
+it. And so they wente forth chidyng together, tyll the shrewde boye led
+the poore man against a post: where hittyng his brow a great blow, he
+cryed out: A hoorson boy, what hast thou done? Why (quod the boy) could
+you not smell the post, that was so nere, as wel as the goose that was
+so farre from your nose?
+
+
+
+
+¶ _Of him that sold two lodes of hey._ cxxxii.
+
+
+¶ In London dwelled a mery pleasant man (whiche for [t]his tyme we may
+call Makeshift[319]) who, beyng arrayed somewhat haruest lyke, with a
+pytcheforke on his necke, went forth in a mornyng and mette with twoo
+lode of hey comeyng to the citieward, for the whiche he bargayned with
+the owners to paye xxx shillynges. Whyther shall we bring them, quoth
+thei? To the Swan in Longe Lane[320] by Smithfeeld (quoth he), and soo
+left them, and sped him thether the next[321] waye. Whan he came to the
+good man of the Swanne, he asked, if he would bye two good lodes of hey?
+Yes marie, sayde he. Where be thei? Euen here they come (quoth
+Makshyft). What shall I paye? sayde the inholder. Foure nobles (quoth
+hee): but at length they agreed to xx shilling. Whan the hey was come,
+Makshyft bad them vnlode. While they were doyng so,[322] he came to the
+inholder,[323] and said: sir, I prai you let me haue my monei: for,
+while my men be vnloding, I wil goe into the citee to buy a littell
+stuffe to haue home with me. The good man was content, and gaue it hym.
+And so he went his way. Whan the men had vnloded the hey, they came and
+demanded their money. To whom the inholder saide: I haue paid your
+maister. What master (quoth they)? Mary, quod he, the same man that made
+you bring the hey hether. We know hym not, quod they. No more doe I
+(quod he); that same man bargayned with me for the hey, and hym haue I
+payed: I neyther bought nor sold with you. That is not enough for vs,
+quod they; and thus thei stroue together. But what ende thei made, I
+know not. For I thynke Makeshift came not againe to agree them.
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[318] Tricks upon blind persons naturally form a feature in the jest
+books. The eighty-third adventure of Tyl Owlglass is a practical joke on
+a blind man, and in _Scoggin's Jests_, 1626, there are one or two
+examples.
+
+[319] A cheat or rogue. See Rowland's _Knave of Clubbs_, 1600 (Percy
+Soc. ed. p. 18). The word _Shifter_ is employed by Rowlands in the
+_Knave of Harts_, 1613, and by others of our elder writers in the same
+sense. In the following passage, shift is used to signify a piece of
+knavery:--
+
+_"Ferd._ Brother, you lie; you got her with a _shift_.
+
+_Frank._ I was the first that lov'd her."
+
+Heywood's _Fair Maid of the Exchange_, 1607 (Shakesp. Soc. ed. p. 87).
+
+See also Taylor's _Works_, 1630, ii. 144. In his _Sculler_, 1612, the
+last mentioned writer introduces a sharper into one of his epigrams
+under the name _of Mounsieur Shift_, "cozen-german to Sir Cuthert
+_Theft_" (_Works_, iii. 25).
+
+[320] Antiently, no doubt, Long Lane ran between hedges into Smithfield;
+but it appears that even in the early part of Elizabeth's reign building
+had commenced in this locality. Stow (_Survey of London_, edit. 1720,
+lib. iii. p. 122) says:--"Long Lane, so called from its length, coming
+out of _Aldersgate Street_ against _Barbican_, and falleth into _West
+Smithfield_. A Place also of Note for the Sale of Apparel, Linnen, and
+Upholsters Goods, both Secondhand and New, but chiefly for old, for
+which it is of note." See also p. 284 of the same book, and Cunningham's
+_Hand Book of London_, edit. 1848, _in voce_, with the authorities and
+illustrations there given. Rowlands, in his _Letting of Humors Blood in
+the Head Vein_, 1611, Sign. C. 2 _verso_, celebrates this spot as one of
+the principal haunts of the pawnbrokers. In _Wits Recreations_, 1640
+(edit. 1817, p. 109), there is the following epigram:--
+
+"He which for 's wife a widow doth obtain, Doth like to those that buy
+clothes in _Long Lane_, One coat's not fit, another's too too old, Their
+faults I know not, but th' are manifold."
+
+Day, in the _Parliament of Bees_, 1641, 40, Sign. C, speaks very
+disrespectfully of the population of Long Lane in his time. See
+_Maroccus Extaticus_, 1595 (Percy Soc. ed. p. 16), Dekker's _Knights'
+Conjuring_, 1607, ed. Rimbault, p. 54. Webster's Works, by Hazlitt, i.
+94. and Taylor's Works, 1630, Sign. Ggg4. The _Swan_ Inn has
+disappeared, but whether it has merged in the _Barley Mow_, or the _Old
+Red Cow_, I do not know.
+
+[321] Nearest.
+
+[322] The original reading is, _so while they were doying_.
+
+[323] Innkeeper. This form of the word continued to be used by English
+writers even in the later half of the seventeenth century.
+
+
+
+
+¶ _How a mery man deuised to cal people to a playe._ cxxxiii.
+
+¶ A Mery man, called Qualitees,[324] on a tyme sette vp billes vpon
+postes aboute London, that who so euer woulde come to Northumberlande
+Place[325] should here suche an antycke plaie[326] that, both for the
+mattier and handelyng, the lyke was neuer heard before. For all they
+that shoulde playe therin were gentilmen.
+
+Those bylles moued the people (whan the daye came) to come thyther
+thycke and threfolde. Now he had hyred two men to stande at the gate
+with a boxe (as the facion is), who toke of euery persone that came in a
+peny, or an halfe peny at the least. So whan he thought the market was
+at the best, he came to the gate, and toke from the men[327] the boxe
+with money, and geuynge theym their duitie, bade them go into the hall,
+and see the rome kepte: for hee shoulde gooe and fetche in the plaiers.
+They went in, and he went out, and lockt the gate faste, and toke the
+key with hym: and gat hym on hys geldynge, whiche stode ready saddilled
+without Aldryshegate[328] at an In,[329] and towarde Barnet he roade
+apace. The people taryed from twoo a clocke tyll three, from three to
+foure, styll askyng and criyng: Whan shall the plaie begyn? How long
+shall we tarye? Whan the clocke stroke foure, all the people murmured
+and sayed: Wherefore tarye we any longer? Here shall be no playe. Where
+is the knaue, that hath beguyled vs hyther? It were almes to[330]
+thruste a dagger throughe hys chekes, sayeth one. It were well done to
+cutte of hys eares, sayeth an other. Haue hym to Newgat! sayeth one:
+nay, haue hym to Tyburne! sayed an other. Shall wee loose our money
+thus, saieth he? Shall wee bee thus beguiled, sayeth this man? shulde
+this be suffered, saieth that man? And so muttrynge and chydyng, they
+came to the gate to goe oute; but they coulde not. For it was faste
+lockt, and Qualitees had the key away with him. Now begynne they a
+freshe to fret and fume: nowe they swere and stare: now they stampe and
+threaten: for the locking in greeued them more than all the losse and
+mockery before: but all auayle not. For there muste they abide, till
+wayes may be founde to open the gate, that they maye goe out. The
+maidens that shoulde haue dressed theyr maisters suppers, they wepe and
+crye; boyes and prentises sorow and lament; they wote not what to say,
+whan thei come home.
+
+  For al this foule araye,
+  For al this great frai,
+  Qualites is mery ridyng on his waie.[331]
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[324] Perhaps this, like Makeshift, was merely intended as a phrase to
+disguise the real name of the person intended.
+
+[325] Northumberland _Alley_ was in Fenchurch Street, and was notorious
+for bowling-greens, gaming-houses, &c. Probably this is the locality
+intended. See Cunningham's _Handbook to London_. 596 edit. 1848.
+
+[326] _i.e._ a burlesque play.
+
+[327] Orig. and Singer read _man_.
+
+[328] Aldersgate. In the _Ordinary_, by W. Cartwright, Moth the
+Antiquary says:--
+
+"Yclose by _Aldersgate_ there dwelleth one Wights clypen _Robert Moth_;
+now _Aldersgate_ Is hotten so from one that _Aldrich_ hight; Or else of
+Elders, that is, ancient men; Or else of Aldern trees which growden
+there; Or else, as Heralds say, from _Aluredus_."
+
+[329] Inns were not so plentiful at this time as they afterward became.
+Perhaps the establishment here referred to was the celebrated _Bell_
+Inn, which was still standing in the time of James the First, and which
+is mentioned by Taylor the Water-Poet in his _Penniless Pilgrimage_,
+1618 (_Works_, 1630, i. 122):--
+
+"At last I took my latest leave, thus late At the Bell Inn, that's
+_extra_ Aldersgate."
+
+[330] _i.e._ it were a charity to thruste, &c. The original and Singer
+have, "it were almes _it_ thruste."
+
+[331] In the original this is printed as prose, perhaps to economize
+space. _Array_, or _araye_, as it is here spelled, signifies obviously
+disturbance or clamour. So in the _History of King Arthur_, 1634, Part
+iii. cap. 134:--"So in this rumour came in Sir Launcelot, and found them
+all at a great aray;" and the next chapter commences with, "Aha! what
+aray is this? said Sir Launcelot."
+
+
+
+
+¶ _How the image of the dyuell was lost and sought._ cxxxiiii.
+
+
+¶ In the Goldesmithes hall, amonge theyr other plate, they had a fair
+standyng cuppe, with an image of S. Dunstane on the couer, whiche image
+hadde an image of the dyuell at his foote.[332] So it chaunced at a
+banket that the sayed image of the dyuell was lost and gone. On the
+morow after, the bedyll of the company was sent about to serche amonge
+the goldesmythes, if any suche came to be sold. And lyke as of
+other[333] he enquired of one, if any man had brought to hym to be solde
+the foole that sate at sainct Dunstanes foote vpon the couer of the
+cuppe? What foole meane you? quoth he. Mary, the diuell, sayde the
+bedill. Why, quoth the other, call ye the diuell a foole; ye shal find
+him a shrewd foole, if ye haue ought to do with hym? And why seke you
+for him here amonge vs? Where shoulde I els seke for hym? (sayde the
+bedill). Mary in hell, quoth he, for there ye shall be sure to fynde the
+dyuell.
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[332] Probably the cup bequeathed by Sir Martin Bowes to the Goldsmiths'
+Company, and still preserved, is here meant. See Cunningham's _Handbook
+of London_, art. _Goldsmiths' Hall_, and for some account of the Bowes
+family, which intermarried with that of D'Ewes, see _Autobiography and
+Correspondence of Sir Simonds D'Ewes_, ii. 17, 18. It seems to have been
+a rather common practice formerly to engrave figures of Saints,
+representations of the Passion, &c. on the bottom of drinking cups.--See
+Rowlands' _Knave of Clubbs_, 1600. (Percy Soc. repr. p. 64.)
+
+[333] In the same manner that he inquired of others, &c.
+
+
+
+
+¶ _Of Tachas, kyng of Aegypt, and Agesilaus._ cxxxv.
+
+
+¶ What tyme Agesilaus, king of the Lacedemonians, was come to Tachas the
+kyng of Egipt, to aide him in his wars: Tachas beholdyng Agesilaus to
+bee a man of so litel stature and smal personage tauntyng hym with this
+scoffe, sayde: The mountayne hath trauayled, Iupiter forbode, but yet
+hee hathe broughte forth a mouse.[334] Agesilaus beynge offended wyth
+hys saying, answered: and yet the tyme wyl come, that I shall seeme to
+the a Lyon. And not longe after, it chaunced through a sedycion that
+arose amonge the Aegypcyans, whan Agesilaus was gone from him, the king
+was constreyned to flee to the Persians.
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[334] This is related differently in Plutarch. "Now _Agesilaus_ being
+arrived in ÆGYPT, all the chiefe Captaines and Governors of King
+_Tachos_ came to the seashore, and honourably received him: and not they
+onely, but infinite numbers of Ægyptians of all sorts ... came thither
+from all parts to see what manner of man he was. But when they saw no
+stately traine about him, but an olde gray-beard layed on the grasse by
+the sea side, a litle man that looked simply of the matter, and but
+meanely apparelled in an ill-favored thread-bare gowne: they fell
+a-laughing at him, remembring the merry tale, that a mountaine,"
+&c.--North's _Plutarch_, edit 1603, fol. 629-30.
+
+
+
+
+¶ _Of Corar the Rhetorician, and Tisias hys scoler._ cxxxvi.
+
+
+¶ A certayne man called Corar, determyned hym selfe for mede[335] to
+teache the arte of Rhetorycke, with whom a yong man, named Tisias,
+couenanted on this wyse, that he wold pay him his wages, whan he had
+perfectly learned the scyence. So whan he had lerned the art, he made no
+haste to paye his teacher, wherfore hys mayster sued hym. Whan they came
+before the iudges, the yonge man demaunded of hys mayster, what was the
+effecte of the scyence? He aunswered: In reasonyng to perswade.[336]
+Than go to, if I perswade these honourable iudges that I owe you
+nothing, I wil pay you nothyng: for you are cast in your action. And yf
+I can not perswade them, than wil I pay you nothing, because I haue not
+yet perfectly learned the art. Corar wrestyng[337] the yonge mans owne
+argumente agaynst hym selfe, said: If thou perswade them, that thou
+oughteste[338] me nothynge, than (accordynge to the couenaunt) thou must
+nedes pay mee my wages: for thou haste the art perfectly. Now yf thou
+canst not perswade them: yet shalt thou pay mee my wages, because thou
+arte condemned by the Iudges' sentence to be my detour.
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[335] Remuneration.
+
+[336] To persuade by reasoning.
+
+[337] Turning by force of ingenuity.
+
+[338] Owed.
+
+
+
+
+¶ _Of Augustus and Athenodorus the Phylosopher._ cxxxvii.
+
+
+¶ What tyme Athenodorus the Phylosopher had (by reason of hys greate
+age) obteyned lycence of Auguste to depart home, he admonysshed him,
+that beyng angry, he should neyth saye nor dooe any thyng, before he had
+by hym selfe rehearsed ouer the xxiiii Greeke letters. Whych saying whan
+the prince heard, he sayed: he had yet nede of him to teache hym the
+arte to keepe sylence, by coloure whereof he retayned the olde man about
+hym a whole yere longer.
+
+By this tale we maie perceyue, that of al things a prince, a ruler, a
+iudge ought specyally to eschewe wrathe. For the morall booke sayeth:
+Anger troubleth the mynde, that it can not discerne the truth. And
+Seneca wryteth, that slowe tarryinge doeth profite in nothyng but in
+wrathe.
+
+
+
+
+¶ _Of the frenche kyng and the brome seller._[339] cxxxviii.
+
+
+¶ As a Frenche kyng on a tyme was in huntyng, he hapned to lose his
+companie, and comyng through a brome heath, he herde a poore man and his
+wife piteously complayne on fortune. The kyng, after he had wel heard
+the long lamentacion of theyr poore and miserable state, came vnto them,
+and after a few words he questioned with them howe they liued. They
+shewed him, how they came daily to that heath, and all the brome, that
+thei and their asse coud cary home, was lyttell enough to finde theim
+and their poor children meat. Well (quoth the kyng), loke that you bryng
+to morow early to the court gate as many bromes as you and your asse can
+carye, and see that you sell them well. For I warrant you thei shalbe
+bought apase. They thanked hym, and so he departed from them. Anon came
+the lordes, knightes, and gentilmen to the kinge, and home they rode.
+After supper the kyng called them all before hym, and gaue them in
+commaundement that neither lord, knyght, nor gentilman, should on the
+morow come into the courte wythout a new brome in his hande. For he had
+a thyng to doe, whiche they shoulde know afterwarde. So on the morowe,
+whan they come to the court gate, there found they the poore man, his
+wife and the asse, loded with bromes, whiche hee solde to the galauntes
+of the court, euen as he wolde him selfe. Wherby the sayd poore man was
+made riche for euer and they lyttell the woorse. Thus whan the kynge
+sawe the states and gentilmen of his court come in so wel furnished with
+grene bromes, and consydring the cause wherfore it was, he laughed
+merilye.
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[339] See Lane's _Arabian Tales and Anecdotes_, 1845, p. 73, for a story
+similar to this.
+
+
+
+
+¶ _An other tale of the same frenche kyng._[340] cxxxix.
+
+
+¶ There chaunced, in a certaine part of the realme, an offyce to fal
+into the kings handes by the deth of a man which was worth a cccc
+crounes by the yere. An honest witty gentilman, dwelling therby,
+trustyng to obteyne the sayde offyce, made as good speede to the courte
+as hee could, and as soone as he might come to the kynges presence, he
+kneled downe, and in most humble wise desired his grace to geue vnto hym
+that offyce, declaring what it was. The king perceiuing how good an
+office it was, and thinking therwith to rewarde some suche one of hys
+seruauntes, that had well deserued it, answered quickely, and sayd: My
+frend, be content; you get it not. The gentilman, heryng those wordes,
+sayd: I most hertely thancke your grace; both I and myne are mooste
+bounden to praye for your hyghnesse;--and so, makynge lowe obeysaunce,
+wente his waye. Whan he had gone a lyttell waye, the kyng commaunded to
+call hym againe. Whan he was come backe, the kyng asked him if he dyd
+well vnderstand, what answere he gaue hym. Yes, truely, sayd the
+gentilman. What sayd I, quoth the kynge? Marye, your grace bad me bee
+contente, for I shoulde not haue the offyce. Why dyd you than (quoth the
+kyng) geue me so great thankes? Because, sayde the gentylman, your grace
+gaue me so sone an answere without longer suite and losse of tyme,
+whiche would haue bene to me a very muche hyndraunce. For I haue at home
+a great householde, vnto the which it behoueth me to loke dylygently, or
+els it wyl be wrong wyth me. The kynge, markynge well the wysedom and
+dexterytee of the gentylman, and conceyuyng a fauoure towarde hym, sayd:
+Wel, nowe shal you thanke me twyse: for you shall haue the offyce that
+you sewe for: and than, castynge hys eyes vpon hys Chauncelloure,
+commaunded hym, that all suche wrytynges as concerned [t]hys sayd
+offyce, shoulde wyth al speede bee made oute, that he were at home
+agayne to ouerloke hys famyly.
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[340] This story is applied by Richard Johnson, editor of the _Pleasant
+Conceits of Old Hobson the Merry Londoner_, 1607, 4to, to his own
+purposes. Johnson was an unscrupulous appropriator.
+
+
+
+
+¶ _What an Italyan fryer dyd in his preachyng._ cxl.
+
+
+¶ Robert Lyciense, a fryer of Italye (of whome we spake before),
+preachyng on a tyme with great vehemencye of wordes and gesture,
+exhorted the prynces and people to make warre agaynste the Turkes and
+other the enemies of chrystendome: and whan he came to the very effect,
+and [was] moste hotte and earnest in his tale, he began to wepe, that
+there were none, that wold to so godly a purpose offer them selfe to be
+capitains. If this be the let[341] of the mattier, beholde me here,
+whiche will be nothynge abasshed to cast aside this grey friers coate,
+and to take vpon mee to be a souldiour, or your capitaine. And euen with
+that woorde he caste of his vpper coate; and vnderneth he was a playne
+souldiour, arraied in a skarlet cloke, and a long rapier hangeyng by his
+side. And in this warlyke apparell, in the personage of a Capitan, he
+stode and preached halfe an houre. Being sente for of the Cardinals
+with whom he was familiar, hee was asked what was the pretence of that
+new example. He answered, that he did it for his wenches pleasure, who
+familiarly confessed that nothynge in the sayd Robert displeased hir,
+saue his friers coate. Then saide he to hir:
+
+  In what apparell shal I best plese you? In a
+  man of warres, quoth shee? Than se
+  that you be at my sermon to
+  morow, quoth he.[342]
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[341] The obstacle to the matter.
+
+[342] This tale is followed by the colophon, which is: Imprinted at
+London in Fletestrete, by Henry Wykes. Cum priuilegio ad imprimendum
+solum.
+
+
+
+
+ADDITIONAL NOTES AND ILLUSTRATIONS.
+
+MERY TALES AND QUICK ANSWERES.
+
+
+P. 16. _Of him that preched on Saynt Christophers day._
+
+In _A Booke of Meery Riddles_, 1617 (repr. of ed. 1629, p. 73 of Mr.
+Halliwell's _Literature of the xvith and xviith centuries Illustrated,
+&c._ 1851), we have the following:--
+
+The xvii Riddle.
+
+  "Who bare the best burthen that ever was borne
+  At any time since, or at any time befor[n]e.
+
+_Solution._--It was the asse that bare both Our Lady and her Sonne out
+of Egypt."
+
+
+P. 21. _Of the yonge woman that sorowed so greatly her husbondes deth._
+
+"There was a poor young Woman who had brought herself even to Death's
+Door with grief for her sick Husband, but the good Man her Father did
+all he could to comfort her. _Come, Child_, said he, _we are all mortal.
+Pluck up a good heart, my Child: for let the worst come to the worst, I
+have a better Husband in store for thee. Alas, Sir_, says she, _what
+d'ye talk of another Husband for? Why, you had as good have stuck a
+Dagger to my Heart. No, no; if ever I think of another Husband, may--!_
+Without any more ado, the Man dies, and the Woman, immediately breaks
+into such Transports of tearing her Hair, and beating her Breast, that
+everybody thought she'd have run stark-mad upon it. But, upon second
+Thoughts, she wipes her Eyes, lifts them up, and cries, _Heaven's will
+be done!_ and turning to her Father, _Pray Sir_, says she, _about t'
+other Husband you were speaking of, is he here in the
+House_?"--_Complete London Jester_, 1771, p. 49.
+
+This story was appropriated by the editor of _Pasquil's Jests, mixed
+with Mother Bunch's Merriments_, of which there were several editions,
+the first appearing in 1604. In Pasquil's Jests, the tale is told of a
+"young woman of Barnet."
+
+_She rowned her father in the eare._
+
+Gower (_Confessio Amantis_, ed. Pauli, Vol. 1. p. 161) has a precisely
+similar expression:--
+
+  "But whan they rounenin her ere,
+  Than groweth all my moste fere."
+
+
+P. 21. _Of him that kissed the mayde with the longe nose._
+
+"'Good Sir William, let it rest' quoth shee, 'I know you will not
+beleeue it when I haue reuealed it, neither is it a thing that you can
+helpe: and yet such is my foolishnesse, had it not beene for that, I
+thinke, verily I had granted your suite ere now. But seeing you vrge me
+so much to know what it is, I will tell you: it is, sir, your
+ill-fauoured great nose, that hangs sagging so lothsomely to your lips,
+_that I cannot finde in my heart so much as to kisse you_.'"--_Pleasant
+History of Thomas of Reading_, by T. D. circa 1597, p. 73 (ed. Thoms).
+
+
+P. 26. _Of the Marchaunt that lost his bodgetie betwene Ware and
+Lon[don]._
+
+In _Pasquil's Jests_, 1604 occurs an account substantially similar to
+the present, of "how a merchant lost his purse between
+_Waltam_ and London."
+
+
+P. 28. _Of the fatte woman that solde frute._
+
+  "Being thus dispatcht he layes downe Jacke
+  A peny for the shot:
+  'Sir, what shall this doe?' said the boy.
+  'Why, rogue, discharge my pot!
+  So much I cald for, but the rest
+  By me shall nere be paid:
+  For victualls thou didst offer me;
+  _Doe and thou woot_, I said.'"
+
+_The Knave of Clubbs_, by S. Rowlands, 1600 (Percy Soc. ed. p. 20).
+
+
+P. 31.--Wilson introduces the "notable historie" of Papirius Pretextatus
+into his _Rule of Reason_, 1551, 80, and it had previously been related
+in Caxton's _Game and Playe of the Chesse_, 1474.
+
+
+P. 33. _Of the corrupte man of law._
+
+"An arch Barber at a certain Borough in the West, where there are but
+few Electors, had Art enough to suspend his Promise till the Voters, by
+means of _Bribery_, the _old Balsam_, were so divided, that the casting
+vote lay in himself. One of the Candidates, who was sensible of it,
+cameinto his little dirty Shop to be shaved, and when the operation was
+finish'd, threw into the Bason _Twenty Guineas_. The next Day came the
+other Candidate, who was shaved also, and left _Thirty_. Some Days after
+this, the first return'd to solicit the Barber's Vote, who told him very
+coldly, _That he could not promise. Not promise!_ says the Gentleman;
+why I thought I had been shaved here! 'Tis true, says the Barber, _you
+was, but another Gentleman has been trimm'd_ since that; however, if you
+please, I'll trim you again, and then tell you my mind."--_Complete
+London Jester_, ed. 1771, p. 99.
+
+
+P. 35. _Conon peaked into the court._--So in Skelton's _Colin Clout_
+(Works by Dyce, I. 312), we have:--
+
+  "He cryeth and he creketh,
+  He pryeth and he peketh,
+  He chides and he chatters," &c.
+
+In the _Posthums Poems of Richard Lovelace, Esq._ 1659, 80, p. 60, the
+word is employed in a different sense:--
+
+  "Have you not marked their C[oe]lestial play,
+  And no more peek'd the gayties of day?"
+
+_To peak_, however, in the sense in which it is used by Skelton, and in
+the _Merie Tales_, &c. is of rather frequent occurrence in _Scoggin's
+Jests_, 1626 (but first printed before 1565); and Gascoigne employs the
+word in the same manner in the _Steel Glas_, n. d. (1576) 40. The
+passage in Gascoigne, which I perused long ago, was brought back to my
+recollection by a note by the Rev. A. Dyce to Skelton's _Colin Clout_.
+
+
+P. 38.--See Diogenes Laertius, transl. by Yonge, p. 226. Diogenes the
+Cynic evidently had Thales in his mind when he said "that mathematicians
+kept their eyes fixed on the sun and moon, and overlooked what was under
+their feet."
+
+
+P. 40. _Of him that dreamed he fonde golde._
+
+In _Pasquil's Jests_, we are told "how drunken Mullins of Stratford
+dreamed he found golde." It is the same story.
+
+
+P. 52. _Gelidus facet anguis in herba._--Whoever edited this collection
+of stories seems to have had a great fancy for quotations. Throughout
+the _C. Mery Talys_, on the contrary, there is not a single instance of
+this passion for extracts. Sir Thomas Overbury, in his _Characters_ (if
+at least they were written by him), ed. 1632, sign. K4, describes "An
+Innes of Court man" as taking "_ends of Latine_, though it be false,
+with as great confidence as ever _Cicero_ could pronounce an oration." I
+suspect that the _Mery Tales and Quicke Answeres_ were collected by some
+person more or less versed in the classics and in foreign authors, which
+was probably not the case with the _C. Mery Talys_, which do not smell
+so much of the inkhorn, as Gascoigne would have said.
+
+
+P. 54. _Breble-brable._
+
+In _Twelfth Night_, act iv. sc. 2, Shakespeare makes the Clown use
+_bibble-babble_ in a similar sense; but afterwards in the same drama,
+act v. sc.1, _brabble_ is put for "a brawl."
+
+This word is no doubt the same as the "pribbles and prabbles" which Sir
+Hugh uses more than once in the _Merry Wives of Windsor_. See act v. sc.
+5.
+
+
+P. 60. _Of hym that payde his dette with crienge bea._--Compare the
+story of "the subtility of Kindlewall the lawyer repayed with the like
+craft," printed in _Pasquil's Jests_, ed. Gilbertson, n. d. 40.
+
+
+P. 65. _All to._--I fear that I too hastily adopted the self-suggested
+notion that the former words might be read more properly as one word,
+and in the sense which I indicated. Perhaps as _all to_ or _al to_ is
+not uncommonly used by early writers in this way, though the meaning in
+the present case is not particularly clear, it may be better to restore
+the original reading.
+
+
+P. 67. _Of the Inholders wyfe and her ii lovers._--See Rowlands' _Knave
+of Clubbs_, 1600, ed. Rimbault, p. 25.
+
+
+P. 67. _Daungerous of her tayle._ So in the _Schole-house of Women_,
+1542, the author says:--
+
+  "Plant them round with many a pin,
+  Ringed for routing of pure golde,
+  Faire without, and foule within,
+  And of their tailes have slipper holde."
+
+
+P. 70. _Of Mayster Vavasour and Turpin his man._
+
+"A Lawyer and his Clerk riding on the Road, the Clerk desired to know
+what was the chief Point of the Law. His Master said, if he would
+promise to pay for their Suppers that Night, he would tell him; which
+was agreed to. Why then, said the Master, good Witnesses are the chief
+Point in the Law. When they came to the Inn, the Master bespoke a couple
+of Fowls for Supper; and when they had Supped, told the Clerk to pay for
+them according to Agreement. O _Sir_, says he, where's your
+witness."--_Complete London Jester_, ed. 1771, p. 102.
+
+
+P. 72. One of _Pasquil's Jests_ is "how mad Coomes, when his wife was
+drowned, sought her against the stream." It is merely a new application
+of the present anecdote.
+
+
+P. 75. _Of the foole that thought hym selfe deed._--A story of a similar
+character occurs in _The Meeting of Gallants at an Ordinarie, or, the
+Walkes in Powles_, 1604, (repr. 1841, p. 19), where "mine Host" gives an
+account of "how a yong fellow was even bespoke and jested to death by
+harlots."
+
+
+P. 93. _He fell to a nyce laughyng._
+
+_Nice_, in the sense of _foolish_, is also used by Gower, who likewise
+employs the substantive _nicete_ in a similar way:--
+
+  "But than it were a _nicete_
+  To telle you, how that I fare!"
+
+  _Confessio Amantis_, lib. vi.
+
+Chaucer employs the word in a similar sense very frequently. In the
+_Cuckoo and the Nightingale_, is the following passage:--
+
+  "To telle his might my wit may not suffice,
+  For he can make of wise folks ful nice."
+
+P. 103. Crakers.--See the last edition of Nares, voce _Crake and
+Craker_. But an earlier example of the use of the word than any given in
+the Glossary occurs in Lupset's _Works_, 1546, 12mo
+(_A Compendious Treatise teachying the waie of dying well_, fol. 34
+_verso_; this treatise was first printed separately in 1541). In a
+reprint of the _C. Mery Talys_, which appeared in 1845, the Editor, not
+knowing what to make of _crake_ and _craker_, altered them, wherever
+they occurred, to _crack_ and _cracker_ respectively!
+
+
+P. 113. Ch' adde.--In _Wits Interpreter, The English Parnassus_, by J.
+Cotgrave. 1655, ed. 1662, p. 247, is "the Devonshire Ditty," from which
+the following is an extract:--
+
+  "Cockbodikins, chil work no more,
+  Dost think chi labour to be poor?
+  No, no, ich chave a do--" &c.
+
+But this phraseology is not peculiar to Devonshire.
+
+
+P. 113, note 2.--Some additional particulars of interest, relative to
+ancient wines, may be found in _Morte Arthure_, ed. 1847, pp. 18, 20;
+and in the _Squyer of Low Degre_ (Ritson's _Ancient Engl. Met.
+Renancees_, iii).
+
+
+P. 121. _Of the Courtear that ete the hot costerde._
+
+"An arch Boy being at Table where there was a piping hot Applepye,
+putting a Bit into his Mouth, burnt it so that the Tears ran down his
+Cheeks. A Gentleman that sate by, ask'd him, Why he wept? Only said he,
+because it is just come into my Remembrance that my poor Grandmother
+died this Day Twelvemonth. Phoo! says the other, is that all? So
+whipping a large Piece into his Mouth, he quickly sympathized with the
+Boy; who seeing his Eyes brim-full, with a malicious Sneer Ask'd him,
+Why he wept? A Pox on you, said he, because you were not hanged, you
+young Dog, the same Day your Grandmother died."--_Complete London
+Jester_, ed. 1771, p. 53.
+
+
+P. 140.--_Of the Canon and his man. Note._
+
+"When King James came into England, coming to Boughton, hee was feasted
+by Sir Edward Montague, and his six sonnes brought upp the six first
+dishes; three of them after were lords, and three more knights, Sir
+Walter Montague, Sir Sydney, and Sir Charles, whose daughter Lady Hatton
+is."--_Ward's Diary_, ed. Severn, p. 170-1.
+
+
+P. 143. _For at this foul araye._--So, in the _Child of Bristow_, an
+early metrical legend, we read:--
+
+  "When the burges the child gan se,
+  He seid then, benedicite,
+  Sone, what _araye_ is this?"
+
+Some later writers thought it necessary to use this word with a
+qualifying adjective, as _shrewd array_, &c. thus, in fact, reducing it
+to something like its ordinary and modern signification.
+
+
+P. 148, _note_. 1. See Pepys' _Diary_, 6th ed. I. 29. "They brought me a
+draft of their drink in a brown bowl, tipt with silver, which I drank
+off, and at the bottom was a picture of the Virgin with the child in her
+arms, done in silver."--27th Feb. 1659-60. See also Brydges' _British
+Bibliographer_, vol. ii. p. 109.
+
+
+THE END.
+
+Transcriber's note:
+
+Spelling, and hyphenation are as in the original.
+
+[=m] - represents an 'm' with an overstrike.
+
+^ - represents a superscript.
+
+Italic markup has been placed exactly as in the original.
+
+
+
+
+
+
+End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Shakespeare Jest-Books;, by Unknown
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+
+<pre>
+
+The Project Gutenberg EBook of Shakespeare Jest-Books;, by Unknown
+
+This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with
+almost no restrictions whatsoever.  You may copy it, give it away or
+re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included
+with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org
+
+
+Title: Shakespeare Jest-Books;
+       Reprints of the Early and Very Rare Jest-Books Supposed
+              to Have Been Used by Shakespeare
+
+Author: Unknown
+
+Editor: W. Carew Hazlitt
+
+Release Date: August 27, 2009 [EBook #29821]
+
+Language: English
+
+Character set encoding: ISO-8859-1
+
+*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK SHAKESPEARE JEST-BOOKS; ***
+
+
+
+
+Produced by David Edwards and the Online Distributed
+Proofreading Team at https://www.pgdp.net (This book was
+produced from scanned images of public domain material
+from the Google Print project.)
+
+
+
+
+
+
+</pre>
+
+
+
+
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_i" id="Page_i">[Pg i]</a></span></p>
+
+
+
+
+
+<h1>Old English Jest-Book.</h1>
+
+
+
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_ii" id="Page_ii">[Pg ii]</a></span></p>
+
+<h2>VOL. I.</h2>
+
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_iii" id="Page_iii">[Pg iii]</a></span></p>
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+
+
+  <h2>Shakespeare Jest-Books;</h2>
+
+  <h4>REPRINTS OF THE EARLY<br />
+  AND VERY RARE JEST-BOOKS SUPPOSED TO<br />
+  HAVE BEEN USED BY SHAKESPEARE.</h4>
+
+  <h3>A Hundred Mery Talys,</h3>
+  <h4>FROM THE ONLY KNOWN COPY.</h4>
+
+ <h2>II.</h2>
+
+  <h3>Mery Tales and Quicke Answeres,</h3>
+  <h4>FROM THE RARE EDITION OF 1567.</h4>
+
+  <p class="center"><i>Edited, with Introduction and Notes.</i></p>
+
+  <h4>BY</h4>
+
+  <h3>W. CAREW HAZLITT,</h3>
+
+  <h4>OF THE INNER TEMPLE, BARRISTER-AT-LAW.</h4>
+
+<div class="cpoem">
+<p>
+<span style="margin-left: 5em;">&mdash;&mdash;<i>That I was disdainful,&mdash;and that</i></span><br />
+<span style="margin-left: 1em;"><i>I had my good wit out of the Hundred Merry Tales.</i></span><br />
+<span style="margin-left: 9em;"><span class="smcap">Beatrice</span>, in Much Ado about Nothing.</span><br />
+</p></div>
+
+<p class="center"><br />LONDON: WILLIS &amp; SOTHERAN, 136, STRAND.</p>
+
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_v" id="Page_v">[Pg v]</a></span><br /></p><p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_iv" id="Page_iv">[Pg iv]</a></span></p>
+
+<p class="center">MDCCCLXIV.</p>
+
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<h2><a name="A_C_mery" id="A_C_mery"></a>&para; A C. mery<br />Talys.</h2>
+
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_vii" id="Page_vii">[Pg vii]</a></span><br /></p><p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_vi" id="Page_vi">[Pg vi]</a></span></p>
+
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<h2><a name="The_Table" id="The_Table"></a>The Table.</h2>
+
+
+
+<div class='centered'>
+<table border="0" cellpadding="2" cellspacing="0" width="80%" summary="CONTENTS">
+<tr><td>&nbsp;</td><td align="right">PAGE</td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'>&para; <i>Of him that said there were but two commandementes.</i> i.</td><td align='right'><a href='#Page_11'>11</a></td></tr>
+
+<tr><td align='left'>&para; <i>Of the wyfe who lay with her prentys and caused him to beate her husbande disguised in her rayment.</i> ii</td><td align='right'><a href='#Page_12'>12</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'>&para; <i>Of John Adroyns in the dyuyls apparell.</i> iii.</td><td align='right'><a href='#Page_14'>14</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'>&para; <i>Of the Ryche man and his two sonnes.</i> iv.</td><td align='right'><a href='#Page_18'>18</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'>&para; <i>Of the Cockolde who gained a Ring by his iudgment.</i> v.</td><td align='right'><a href='#Page_19'>19</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'>&para; <i>Of the scoler that gave his shoes to cloute.</i> vi.</td><td align='right'><a href='#Page_20'>20</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'>&para; <i>Of him that said that a womans tongue was lightest of digestion.</i> vii.</td><td align='right'><a href='#Page_20'><i>ib.</i></a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'>&para; <i>Of the Woman that followed her fourth husbands bere and wept.</i> viii.</td><td align='right'><a href='#Page_21'>21</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'>&para; <i>Of the Woman that sayd her woer came to late. ix.</i></td><td align='right'><a href='#Page_22'>22</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'>&para; <i>Of the Mylner with the golden thombe.</i> x.</td><td align='right'><a href='#Page_23'>23</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'>&para; <i>Of the horseman of Irelande that prayde Oconer for to hange up the frere.</i> xi.</td><td align='right'><a href='#Page_23'><i>ib.</i></a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'>&para; <i>Of the preest that sayd nother Corpus meus nor Corpum meum.</i> xii.</td><td align='right'><a href='#Page_26'>26</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'>&para; <i>Of the two freres whereof the one loued nat the ele heed nor the other the tayle.</i> xiii.</td><td align='right'><a href='#Page_27'>27</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'>&para; <i>Of the welche man that shroue hym for brekynge of hys faste on the fryday.</i> xiv.</td><td align='right'><a href='#Page_28'>28</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'>&para; <i>Of the merchaunte of London that dyd put nobles in his mouthe in hys dethe bedde.</i> xv.</td><td align='right'><a href='#Page_30'>30</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'>&para; <i>Of the mylner that stale the nuttes of the tayler that stale a shepe.</i> xvi.</td><td align='right'><a href='#Page_31'>31</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'>&para; <i>Of the foure elementes where they should sone be founde.</i> xvii.</td><td align='right'><a href='#Page_36'>36</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'>&para; <i>Of the woman that poured the potage in the iudges male.</i> xviii.</td><td align='right'><a href='#Page_37'>37</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'>&para; <i>Of the wedded men that came to heuen to clayme theyr herytage.</i> xix.</td><td align='right'><a href='#Page_39'>39</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'>&para; <i>Of the merchaunte that charged his sonne to fynde one to synge for hys soule.</i> xx.</td><td align='right'><a href='#Page_40'>40</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'>&para; <i>Of the mayde wasshynge clothes that answered the frere.</i> xxi.</td><td align='right'><a href='#Page_42'>42</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'>&para; <i>Of the thre wyse men of Gotam.</i> xxii.</td><td align='right'><a href='#Page_42'><i>ib.</i></a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'>&para; <i>Of the graye frere that answered his penytente.</i> xxiii.</td><td align='right'><a href='#Page_43'>43</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'>&para; <i>Of the gentylman that bare the sege borde on hys necke.</i> xxiv.</td><td align='right'><a href='#Page_44'>44</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'>&para; <i>Of the merchantes wyfe that sayd she wolde take a nap at a sermon.</i> xxv.</td><td align='right'><a href='#Page_47'>47</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'>&para; <i>Of the woman that said and she lyued another yere she wolde haue a cockoldes hatte of her owne.</i> xxvi.</td><td align='right'><a href='#Page_48'>48</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'>&para; <i>Of the gentylman that wysshed his tothe in the gentylwomans tayle.</i> xxvii.</td><td align='right'><a href='#Page_48'><i>ib.</i></a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'>&para; <i>Of the Welcheman that confessyd hym howe he had slayne a frere.</i> xxviii.</td><td align='right'><a href='#Page_49'>49</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'>&para; <i>Of the Welcheman that coude nat gette but a lytell male.</i> xxix.</td><td align='right'><a href='#Page_50'>50</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'>&para; <i>Of the gentyll woman that sayde to a gentyll man ye haue a berde aboue and none benethe.</i> xxx.</td><td align='right'><a href='#Page_51'>51</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'>&para; <i>Of the frere that sayde our Lorde fed fyue M. people with iii fysshys.</i> xxxi.</td><td align='right'><a href='#Page_52'>52</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'>&para; <i>Of the frankelyn that wold haue had the frere gone.</i> xxxii.</td><td align='right'><a href='#Page_53'>53</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'>&para; <i>Of the prest that sayd Our Lady was not so curyous a woman.</i> xxxiii.</td><td align='right'><a href='#Page_54'>54</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'>&para; <i>Of the good man that sayde to his wyfe he had euyll fare.</i> xxxiv.</td><td align='right'><a href='#Page_55'>55</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'>&para; <i>Of the frere that bad his childe make a laten.</i> xxxv.</td><td align='right'><a href='#Page_55'><i>ib.</i></a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'>&para; <i>Of the gentylman that asked the frere for his beuer.</i> xxxvi.</td><td align='right'><a href='#Page_56'>56</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'>&para; <i>Of the thre men that chose the woman.</i> xxxvii.</td><td align='right'><a href='#Page_56'><i>ib.</i></a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'>&para; <i>Of the gentylman that taught his cooke the medycyne for the tothake.</i> xxxviii.</td><td align='right'><a href='#Page_58'>58</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'>&para; <i>Of the gentylman that promysed the scoler of Oxford a sarcenet typet.</i> xxxix.</td><td align='right'><a href='#Page_60'>60</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'>&para; <i>Of mayster Skelton that broughte the bysshop of Norwiche ii fesauntys.</i> xl.</td><td align='right'><a href='#Page_62'>62</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'>&para; <i>Of the yeman of garde that sayd he wolde bete the carter.</i> xli.</td><td align='right'><a href='#Page_65'>65</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'>&para; <i>Of the fole that saide he had leuer go to hell than to heuen.</i> xlii.</td><td align='right'><a href='#Page_66'>66</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'>&para; <i>Of the plowmannys sonne that sayde he sawe one to make a gose to creke swetely.</i> xliii.</td><td align='right'><a href='#Page_67'>67</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'>&para; <i>Of the maydes answere that was wyth chylde. xliv.</i></td><td align='right'><a href='#Page_67'><i>ib.</i></a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'>&para; <i>Of the seruaunt that rymyd with hys mayster.</i> xlv.</td><td align='right'><a href='#Page_68'>68</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'>&para; <i>Of the Welcheman that delyuered the letter to the ape.</i> xlvi.</td><td align='right'><a href='#Page_69'>69</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'>&para; <i>Of hym that solde ryght nought.</i> xlvii.</td><td align='right'><a href='#Page_71'>71</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'>&para; <i>Of the frere that tolde the thre chyldres fortunes.</i> xlviii.</td><td align='right'><a href='#Page_72'>72</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'>&para; <i>Of the boy that bare the frere his masters money.</i> xlix.</td><td align='right'><a href='#Page_74'>74</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'>&para; <i>Of Phylyp Spencer the bochers man.</i> l.</td><td align='right'><a href='#Page_75'>75</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'>&para; <i>Of the courtear and the carter.</i> li.</td><td align='right'><a href='#Page_76'>76</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'>&para; <i>Of the yong man that prayd his felow to teche hym hys paternoster.</i> lii.</td><td align='right'><a href='#Page_77'>77</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'>&para; <i>Of the frere that prechyd in ryme expownynge the ave maria.</i> liii.</td><td align='right'><a href='#Page_78'>78</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'>&para; <i>Of the curat that prechyd the Artycles of the Crede.</i> liv.</td><td align='right'><a href='#Page_80'>80</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'>&para; <i>Of the frere that prechyd the x commaundementis.</i> lv.</td><td align='right'><a href='#Page_82'>82</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'>&para; <i>Of the wyfe that bad her husbande ete the candell fyrste.</i> lvi.</td><td align='right'><a href='#Page_84'>84</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'>&para; <i>Of the man of lawes sonnes answer.</i> lvii.</td><td align='right'><a href='#Page_84'><i>ib.</i></a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'>&para; <i>Of the frere in the pulpet that bad the woman leve her babelynge.</i> lviii.</td><td align='right'><a href='#Page_85'>85</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'>&para; <i>Of the Welcheman that cast the Scotte into the see.</i> lix.</td><td align='right'><a href='#Page_86'>86</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'>&para; <i>Of the man that had the dome wyfe.</i> lx.</td><td align='right'><a href='#Page_87'>87</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'>&para; <i>Of the Proctour of Arches that had the lytel wyfe.</i> lxi.</td><td align='right'><a href='#Page_89'>89</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'>&para; <i>Of ii nonnes that were shryuen of one preste.</i> lxii.</td><td align='right'><a href='#Page_89'><i>ib.</i></a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'>&para; <i>Of the esquyer that sholde haue ben made knight.</i> lxiii.</td><td align='right'><a href='#Page_91'>91</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'>&para; <i>Of hym that wolde gette the maystrye of his wyfe.</i> lxiv. .</td><td align='right'><a href='#Page_92'>92</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'>&para; <i>Of the penytent that sayd the shepe of God haue mercy vpon me.</i> lxv.</td><td align='right'><a href='#Page_93'>93</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'>&para; <i>Of the husbande that sayd he was John daw.</i> lxvi.</td><td align='right'><a href='#Page_94'>94</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'>&para; <i>Of the scoler of Oxforde that proued by souestry ii chykens iii.</i> lxvii.</td><td align='right'><a href='#Page_95'>95</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'>&para; <i>Of the frere that stale the podynge.</i> lxviii.</td><td align='right'><a href='#Page_97'>97</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'>&para; <i>Of the frankelyns sonne that cam to take orders.</i> lxix.</td><td align='right'><a href='#Page_98'>98</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'>&para; <i>Of the husbandman that lodgyd the frere in his own bede.</i> lxx.</td><td align='right'><a href='#Page_99'>99</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'>&para; <i>Of the preste that wolde say two gospels for a grote.</i> lxxi.</td><td align='right'><a href='#Page_100'>100</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'>&para; <i>Of the coutear that dyd cast the frere ouer the bote.</i> lxxii.</td><td align='right'><a href='#Page_101'>101</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'>&para; <i>Of the frere that prechyd what mennys sowles were.</i> lxxiii.</td><td align='right'><a href='#Page_101'><i>ib.</i></a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'>&para; <i>Of the husbande that cryed ble vnder the bed.</i>lxxiv.</td><td align='right'><a href='#Page_102'>102</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'>&para; <i>Of the shomaker that asked the colyer what tydynges in hell.</i> lxxv.</td><td align='right'><a href='#Page_103'>103</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'>&para; <i>Of Seynt Peter that cryed cause bobe.</i> lxxvi.</td><td align='right'><a href='#Page_104'>104</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'>&para; <i>Of hym that aduenturyd body and soule for hys prynce.</i> lxxvii.</td><td align='right'><a href='#Page_105'>105</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'>&para; <i>Of the parson that stale the mylners elys.</i> lxxviii.</td><td align='right'><a href='#Page_106'>106</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'>&para; <i>Of the Welchman that saw one xl's better than God.</i> lxxix.</td><td align='right'><a href='#Page_106'><i>ib.</i></a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'>&para; <i>Of the frere that said dyryge for the hoggys soule.</i> lxxx.</td><td align='right'><a href='#Page_106'><i>ib.</i></a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'>&para; <i>Of the parson that sayde masse of requiem for Crystes soule.</i> lxxxi.</td><td align='right'><a href='#Page_108'>108</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'>&para; <i>Of the herdeman that sayde: ryde apace, ye shall haue rayn.</i> lxxxii.</td><td align='right'><a href='#Page_109'>109</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'>&para; <i>Of hym that sayde: I shall haue neuer a peny.</i> lxxxiii.</td><td align='right'><a href='#Page_110'>110</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'>&para; <i>Of the husbande that sayde his wyfe and he agreed well.</i> lxxxiv.</td><td align='right'><a href='#Page_111'>111</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'>&para; <i>Of the prest that sayde Comede episcope.</i> lxxxv.</td><td align='right'><a href='#Page_111'><i>ib.</i></a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'>&para; <i>Of the woman that stale the pot.</i> lxxxvi.</td><td align='right'><a href='#Page_112'>112</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'>&para; <i>Of mayster Whyttyntons dreme.</i> lxxxvii.</td><td align='right'><a href='#Page_113'>113</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'>&para; <i>Of the prest that killed his horse called modicus.</i> lxxxviii.</td><td align='right'><a href='#Page_114'>114</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'>&para; <i>Of the Welcheman that stale the Englysshmans cocke.</i> lxxxix.</td><td align='right'><a href='#Page_115'>115</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'>&para; <i>Of hym that brought a botell to a preste.</i> xc.</td><td align='right'><a href='#Page_115'><i>ib.</i></a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'>&para; <i>Of the endytement of Jesu of Nazareth.</i> xci.</td><td align='right'><a href='#Page_116'>116</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'>&para; <i>Of the frere that preched agaynst them that rode on the Sonday.</i> xcii.</td><td align='right'><a href='#Page_117'>117</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'>&para; <i>Of the one broder that founde a purs.</i> xciii.</td><td align='right'><a href='#Page_118'>118</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'>&para; <i>Of the answere of the mastres to the mayde.</i> xciv.</td><td align='right'><a href='#Page_119'>119</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'>&para; <i>Of the northern man that was all harte.</i> xcv.</td><td align='right'><a href='#Page_119'><i>ib.</i></a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'>&para; <i>Of the burnynge of olde John.</i> xcvi.</td><td align='right'><a href='#Page_119'><i>ib.</i></a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'>&para; <i>Of the courtear that ete the hot custarde.</i> xcvii.</td><td align='right'><a href='#Page_121'>121</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'>&para; <i>Of the thre pointes belonging to a shrewd wyfe.</i> xcix.</td><td align='right'><a href='#Page_122'>122</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'>&para; <i>Of the man that paynted the lamb upon his wyfes bely.</i> c.</td><td align='right'><a href='#Page_123'>123</a></td></tr>
+</table></div>
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_1" id="Page_1">[Pg 1]</a></span></p>
+
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<h2><a name="INTRODUCTION" id="INTRODUCTION"></a>INTRODUCTION.</h2>
+
+
+<p>When a small impression of these quaint old books issued from the
+Chiswick Press, many years ago, under the auspices of the late Mr. S. W.
+Singer, that gentleman merely designed the copies struck off for
+presentation to a select circle of literary friends who, like himself,
+felt a warm interest in every relic of the past which helped to
+illustrate Shakespeare and ancient English manners. He did not
+consequently feel under the necessity of furnishing notes, and he
+preserved not only the old orthography, but the old punctuation, and the
+most palpable errors of the press. His edition unfortunately laboured
+under one disadvantage: when he printed, in 1814, the <i>Mery Tales and
+Quick Answers</i> from Berthelet's edition, he imagined that this was the
+book to which Beatrice is made to allude in <i>Much Ado About Nothing</i>,
+and<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_2" id="Page_2">[Pg 2]</a></span> under this idea he christened the volume <i>Shakespeare's Jest Book</i>.
+He also thought he was safe in assuming that the edition by Berthelet
+was the only one extant. But Mr. Singer discovered, before his
+undertaking was a year old, that he had come to an erroneous conclusion
+on both these points: for an impression of the <i>Mery Tales, &amp;c.</i> printed
+by Henry Wykes in 1567, and containing, with all the old matter,
+twenty-six additional stories, was brought under his notice, and about
+the same time a totally unknown work, bearing the very title mentioned
+by Beatrice, was accidentally rescued from oblivion by the Rev. J. J.
+Conybeare, who, it is said by Dunlop, picked up the treasure at a
+bookstall. This was no other than <span class="smcap">A C. Mery Talys</span>.</p>
+
+<p>The copy of <i>C. Mery Talys</i> thus casually brought to light, had been
+used by a binder of or about the time of its appearance as pasteboard to
+another book, and it was in this state when it fell in the way of Mr.
+Conybeare. As might have been expected, many of the leaves were damaged
+and mutilated; but (which rendered the matter still more curious) it
+happily chanced that <i>more than one copy</i> had been employed by the
+aforesaid binder in fashioning the aforesaid pasteboard, and the
+consequence was that a much larger fragment<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_3" id="Page_3">[Pg 3]</a></span> than would have been
+otherwise saved was formed by means of duplicate leaves. Still several
+gaps in the text remained, which it was found impossible to fill up, and
+as no other copy has since occurred, no better means exist now than
+existed fifty years ago of supplying the deficiencies. Where the hiatus
+consisted of a word or two only, and the missing portion could be
+furnished by conjecture, Mr. Singer took the liberty of adding what
+seemed to be wanting, in italics; his interpolations have been left as
+they stood. The old orthography and language, besides the charm of
+quaintness, appeared to the editor to possess a certain philological
+value, and he has rigidly adhered to it. In respect to the punctuation,
+the case was different; there were no reasons of any kind for its
+retention; it was very imperfect and capricious; and it has therefore
+been modernized throughout.</p>
+
+<p>The <i>C. Mery Talys</i>, of which the copy above described has a fair
+pretention to the distinction of uniqueness, were first printed by John
+Rastell, without date but circa 1525, in folio, 24 leaves. Whether
+Rastell printed more than one edition is an open question. The book was
+not reprinted, so far as we know at present, till 1558, when John Walley
+or Waley paid two shillings to the Stationers' Company for his licence
+to produce this and other<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_4" id="Page_4">[Pg 4]</a></span> pieces. Walley reprinted a great number of
+books which had originally come from the press of Wynkyn de Worde and
+other early masters of the art, but it is not very likely that the <i>C.
+Mery Talys</i> made their appearance prior to 1525, and there is room to
+doubt whether even then the severe reflections on the scandalous lives
+of the Roman Catholic priesthood were not slightly premature. The almost
+total destruction of copies may be, after all, due, not to the excessive
+popularity of the publication, but to its early suppression by authority
+or otherwise. After the triumph of the Reformation, and until the death
+of Edward VI. however, although these tales still remained as
+unpalatable as ever to a certain party, there was nothing to hinder
+their circulation, and that there were intermediate impressions between
+that from Rastell's press, and the one licensed to Walley,<a name="FNanchor_1_1" id="FNanchor_1_1"></a><a href="#Footnote_1_1" class="fnanchor">[1]</a> if not
+printed by him, is not at all improbable. The <i>C. Mery Talys</i> were
+subsequently and successively the property of Sampson Awdley and John
+Charlwood, to the latter of whom they were licensed on the 15th January,
+1582. All trace of editions by<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_5" id="Page_5">[Pg 5]</a></span> Walley, Awdley, or Charlwood, has
+disappeared, although doubtless all three printed the work.</p>
+
+<p>Of the <span class="smcap">Mery Tales and Quicke Answeres</span>, which forms the second portion of
+the present volume, only two impressions are known. One of these,
+supposed to be the original, was printed by Thomas Berthelet, without
+date (about 1535), in 4to.; it contains 114 anecdotes. The other, from
+the press of Henry Wykes, bears the date 1567, and is in the duodecimo
+form; it produces with tolerable exactness the text of Berthelet, and
+has twenty-six new stories. Besides these, at least one other impression
+formerly existed: for, in 1576-7, Henry Bynneman paid to the Stationers'
+Company fourpence "and a copie" for "a booke entituled mery tales,
+wittye questions, and quycke answers."<a name="FNanchor_2_2" id="FNanchor_2_2"></a><a href="#Footnote_2_2" class="fnanchor">[2]</a> No copy of Bynneman's edition
+has hitherto been discovered; a copy of that of 1567 was in the Harleian
+library. At the sale of the White-Knights collection in 1819, Mr. George
+Daniel of Canonbury gave nineteen guineas for the exemplar of
+Berthelet's undated 4to, which had previously been in the Roxburghe
+library, and which at the dispersion of the latter in 1812, had fetched
+the moderate sum of 5<i>l.</i> 15<i>s.</i> 6<i>d.</i></p>
+
+<p>The reader who is conversant with this class of<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_6" id="Page_6">[Pg 6]</a></span> literature will easily
+recognise in the following pages many stories familiar to him either in
+the same, or in very slightly different, shapes; a few, which form part
+of the <i>Mery Tales and Quick Answers</i>, were included in a collection
+published many years since under the title of <i>Tales of the Minstrels</i>.
+No. 42 of the <i>Mery Tales and Quick Answers</i> was perhaps at one time
+rather popular as a theme for a joke. There is an Elizabethan ballad
+commencing, "ty the mare, tom-boy, ty the mare," by William Keth, which
+the editor thought, before he had had an opportunity of examining it,
+might be on the same subject; but he finds that it has nothing whatever
+to do with the matter.<a name="FNanchor_3_3" id="FNanchor_3_3"></a><a href="#Footnote_3_3" class="fnanchor">[3]</a> It may also be noticed that the story related
+of the king who, to revenge himself on God, forbade His name to be
+mentioned, or His worship to be celebrated throughout his dominions, is
+said by Montaigne, in one of his essays, to have been current in his
+part of France, when he was a boy. The king was Alfonso xi of Castile.
+No. 68 of <i>A C. Mery Talys</i>, "Of the Friar that stole the Pudding," is
+merely an abridgment of the same story, which occurs in <i>Tarltons Newes
+out of<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_7" id="Page_7">[Pg 7]</a></span> Purgatorie</i>, where it is told of the "Vickar of Bergamo." Many
+of the jests in these two pamphlets are also to be found in <i>Scoggins
+Jests</i>, licensed in 1565; a few occur in the <i>Philosopher's Banquet</i>,
+1614; and one&mdash;that where the lady ties a string to her toe as a signal
+to her lover&mdash;is repeated at greater length in the "Cobler of
+Canterbury," edit. 1608, where it is called "the old wives' tale." It
+would be a curious point to ascertain whether the anecdotes common to
+these collections and to "<i>Scoggin's Jests</i>," do not refer to the same
+person; and whether Scoggin is not in fact the hero of many of the
+pranks attributed to the "Scholar of Oxford," the "Youngman," the
+"Gentleman," &amp;c. in the following pages, which were in existence many
+years before the first publication of <i>Scoggins Jests</i>. It will hardly
+be contested at the present day, that "books of the people,"<a name="FNanchor_4_4" id="FNanchor_4_4"></a><a href="#Footnote_4_4" class="fnanchor">[4]</a> like
+these now reprinted, with all their occasional coarseness and frequent
+dulness, are of extreme and peculiar value, as illustrations of early
+manners and habits of thought.</p>
+
+<p>The editor has ventured to make certain emendations of the text, where
+they were absolutely necessary to make it intelligible; but these are
+always carefully noted at the foot of the page<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_8" id="Page_8">[Pg 8]</a></span> where they occur. A word
+or two, here and there, has been introduced between brackets to complete
+the sense; and a few notes have been given, since it was thought
+desirable to point out where a tale was common to several collections in
+various shapes or in the same shape, to indicate the source from which
+it was derived, and to elucidate obscure phrases or passages. But he has
+refrained from overloading the book with comment, from a feeling that,
+in the majority of cases, the class of readers, to which a publication
+such as this addresses itself, are fully as competent to clear up any
+apparent difficulties which may fall in their way, as himself.</p>
+
+<p>The allusions to the <i>C. Mery Talys</i> and to its companion in old writers
+are sufficiently numerous.<a name="FNanchor_5_5" id="FNanchor_5_5"></a><a href="#Footnote_5_5" class="fnanchor">[5]</a></p>
+
+<p>Bathe, in his <i>Introduction to the Art of Musick</i>, 1584, says: "But for
+the worthiness I thought it not to be doubted, seeing here are set forth
+a booke of a hundred mery tales, another of the bataile between the
+spider and the flie, &amp;c." A few years later, Sir John Harington, in his
+<i>Apologie</i>(for the <i>Metamorphosis of Ajax</i>) 1596, writes: "Ralph Horsey,
+Knight, the best housekeeper in Dorset<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_9" id="Page_9">[Pg 9]</a></span>shire, a good freeholder, a
+deputie Lieutenant. Oh, sir, you keep hauks and houndes, and hunting
+horses: it may be som madde fellowe will say, you must stand up to the
+chinne, for spending five hundred poundes, to catch hares, and
+Partridges, that might be taken for five poundes." Then comes this note
+in the margin: "according to the tale in the hundred Mery Tales." It is
+No. 57. In the Epilogue to the play of <i>Wily Beguild</i>, printed in 1606,
+but written during the reign of Elizabeth, there is a passage in which
+the <i>C. Mery Talys</i> are coupled with <i>Scoggins Jests</i>, and in his
+<i>Wonderful yeare</i>, 1603, Decker says: "I could fill a large volume, and
+call it the second part of the <i>Hundred Merry Tales</i>, only with such
+ridiculous stuff as this of the justice." From this extract, first
+quoted by Mr. Collier in his valuable History of the Drama, and from the
+manner in which Shakespeare, through the mouth of Beatrice, speaks of
+the <i>Mery Talys</i>, it is to be gathered that neither writer held this
+book of jests in very high estimation; and, as no vestiges are traceable
+of an edition of the work subsequent to 1582, it is possible that about
+that time the title had grown too stale to please the less educated
+reader, and the work had fallen into disrepute in higher quarters. The
+stories themselves, in some shape<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_10" id="Page_10">[Pg 10]</a></span> or other, however, have been
+reproduced in every jest-book from the reign of Elizabeth to the
+Restoration, while many of them multiply themselves even to the present
+day in the form of chap books.</p>
+
+<p><i>A C. Mery Talys</i> was one of the popular tracts described by the
+pedantic Laneham, in his <i>Letter from Kenilworth</i>, 1575, as being in the
+Library of Captain Cox, of Coventry.<a name="FNanchor_6_6" id="FNanchor_6_6"></a><a href="#Footnote_6_6" class="fnanchor">[6]</a></p>
+
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_11" id="Page_11">[Pg 11]</a></span></p>
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<h2><a name="A_C" id="A_C"></a>A C.<br />
+
+MERY TALYS.</h2>
+
+
+<h3>&para; <i>Of hym that said there were but two commandementes.</i> i.</h3>
+
+
+<p>&para; A certayne Curate in the contrey there was that <i>preched</i> in the
+pulpet of the ten comaundementys, sayeng <i>that</i> there were ten
+commaundementes that euery man <i>should</i> kepe, and he that brake any of
+them commytted syn, howbeit he sayd, that somtyme it was <i>dedely and</i>
+somtyme venyal. But when it was dedely syn and whan venyall there were
+many doutes therin. &para; And a mylner, a yong man, a mad felow that cam
+seldom to chyrch and had ben at very few sermons or none in all his
+lyfe, answered hym than shortely this wyse: I meruayl, master person,
+that ye say there be so many commaundementes and so many doutes: for I
+neuer hard tell but of two commaundementes, that is to saye, commaunde
+me to you and<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_12" id="Page_12">[Pg 12]</a></span> commaunde me fro you. Nor I neuer harde tell of more
+doutes but twayn, that ys to say, dout the candell and dout the fyre.<a name="FNanchor_7_7" id="FNanchor_7_7"></a><a href="#Footnote_7_7" class="fnanchor">[7]</a>
+At which answere all the people fell a laughynge.</p>
+
+<p>By this tale a man may well perceyue that they, that be brought vp
+withoute lernynge or good maner, shall neuer be but rude and bestely,
+all thoughe they haue good naturall wyttes.</p>
+
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<h3><a name="Of_the_wyfe_who_lay_with_her_prentys_and_caused_him_to_beate_her" id="Of_the_wyfe_who_lay_with_her_prentys_and_caused_him_to_beate_her"></a>&para; <i>Of the wyfe who lay with her prentys and caused him to beate her
+husbande disguised in her rayment.</i> ii.</h3>
+
+
+
+<p>&para; A wyfe there was, which had apoynted her prentys to com to her bed in
+the nyght, which seruaunt had long woed her to haue his plesure; which
+acordyng to the apoyntement cam to her bed syde in the night, her
+husbande lyenge by her. And whan she perceyuyd him there, she caught hym
+by the hande and helde hym fast, and incontynent wakened her husbande,
+and sayde: 'syr, it is so ye haue a fals and an vntrue seruant, which is
+Wylliam your prentys, and hath longe woyd me to haue his pleasure; and
+because I coulde not auoyde<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_13" id="Page_13">[Pg 13]</a></span> his importunate request, I haue apoynted
+hym this nyght to mete me in the gardeyne in the herber; and yf ye wyll
+aray your selfe in myn aray and go theder, ye shall see the profe
+therof; and than ye may rebuke hym as ye thynk best by your dyscrecyon.
+This husbande, thus aduertysed by hys wyfe, put upon him his wyue's
+rayment and went to the herber; and whan he was gone thyder the prentys
+cam in to bed to his mastres; where for a season they were bothe content
+and plesyd ech other by the space of an hour or ii; but whan she
+thoughte tyme conuenient, she said to the prentyse: now go thy way into
+the herber, and mete hym and tak a good waster<a name="FNanchor_8_8" id="FNanchor_8_8"></a><a href="#Footnote_8_8" class="fnanchor">[8]</a> in thy hand, and say
+thou dyd it but to proue whether I wold be a good woman or no; and
+reward him as thou thinkyst best. This prentys doyng after his mastres
+councell went in to the herber, where he found his master in his
+mastres' apparell and sayd: A! thou harlot, art thou comen hether? now I
+se well, if I wod be fals to my master, thou woldest be a strong hore;
+but I had leuer thou were hangid than I wold do him so trayterous a ded:
+therefor I shall gyve the som punyshment as thou lyke an hore hast
+deseruyd and therewith lapt him well about the sholders and back, and
+gaue him a dosen or ii good stripes.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_14" id="Page_14">[Pg 14]</a></span> The master, felyng him selfe
+somwhat to smarte, sayde: peace, Willyam, myn own trew good seruant; for
+Goddis sake, <i>holde thy</i> handes: for I am thy mayster and not thy
+maystres. Nay, hore, quod <i>he, thou knowest</i> thou art but an harlot, and
+I dyd but to proue the; and smote him agayn. <i>Hold! Hold!</i> quod the
+mayster, I beseech the, no more: for I am not she: for I am thy
+<i>mayster</i>, for I haue a berde; and therwith he sparyd hys hand and felt
+his berd. Good mayster, quod the prentyse, I crye you mercy; and then
+the mayster went unto hys wyfe; and she askyd hym how he had sped. And
+he answeryd; I wys, wyfe, I haue been shrewdly betyn; howbeit I haue
+cause to be glad: for I thank God I haue as trew a wyfe and as trew a
+seruant as any man hath in Englonde.<a name="FNanchor_9_9" id="FNanchor_9_9"></a><a href="#Footnote_9_9" class="fnanchor">[9]</a></p>
+
+<p>By thys tale ye may se that yt ys not wysdome for a man to be rulyd
+alway after his wyuys councell.</p>
+
+
+
+
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<h3><a name="Of_John_Adroyns_in_the_dyuyls_apparell_iii" id="Of_John_Adroyns_in_the_dyuyls_apparell_iii"></a>&para; <i>Of John Adroyns in the dyuyls apparell.</i> iii.</h3>
+
+
+<p>&para; It fortunyd that in a market towne in the counte of Suffolke there was
+a stage play, in the which play one, callyd John Adroyns which dwellyd
+in a<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_15" id="Page_15">[Pg 15]</a></span> nother vyllage ii myle from thens, playde the dyuyll. And when the
+play was done, thys John Adroyns in the euynyng departyd fro the sayde
+market towne to go home to hys own house. Because he had there no change
+of clothying, he went forth in hys dyuylls apparell, whych in the way
+comyng homeward cam thorow a waren of conys<a name="FNanchor_10_10" id="FNanchor_10_10"></a><a href="#Footnote_10_10" class="fnanchor">[10]</a> belongyng to a gentylman
+of the vyllage, wher he him self dwelt. At which tyme it fortunyd a
+preste, a vycar of a churche therby, with ii or iii other vnthrifty
+felows, had brought with them a hors, a hey<a name="FNanchor_11_11" id="FNanchor_11_11"></a><a href="#Footnote_11_11" class="fnanchor">[11]</a> and a feret to th'entent
+there to get conys; and when the feret was in the yerth, and the hey set
+ouer the pathway where thys John Adroyns shuld come, thys prest and hys
+other felows saw hym come in the dyuyls rayment. Consideryng that they
+were in the dyuyls seruyce and stelyng of conys and supposyng it had ben
+the deuyll in dede, [they] for fere, ran away. Thys John Adroyns in the
+dyuyls rayment, an' because<a name="FNanchor_12_12" id="FNanchor_12_12"></a><a href="#Footnote_12_12" class="fnanchor">[12]</a> it was somewhat dark, saw not the hay,
+but went forth in hast and stomblid therat and fell doun, that with the
+fal he had almost broken his nek. But whan he was a lytyll reuyuyd, he
+lookyd up and spyed it was a hay to catch conys, and [he] lokyd further
+and saw that they ran away for fere of him, and saw a horse tyed to a
+bush laden wyth conys whych<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_16" id="Page_16">[Pg 16]</a></span> they had taken; and he toke the horse and
+the haye and lept upon the horse and rode to the gentylmannys place that
+was lorde of the waren to the entente to haue thank for takynge suche a
+pray. And whan he came, [he] knokyd at the gatys, to whome anone one of
+the gentylmanny's seruauntys askyd who was there and sodeinly openyd the
+gate; and assone as he percyuyd hym in the deuyls rayment, [he] was
+sodenly abashyd and sparryd the dore agayn, and went in to his mayster
+and sayd and sware to his mayster, that the dyuell was at the gate and
+wolde come in. The gentylman, heryng him say so, callyd another of his
+seruauntys and bad him go to the gate to knowe who was there. Thys
+seconde seruant [that] came to the gate durst not open it but askyd wyth
+lowd voyce who was there. Thys John Adroyns in the dyuyls aparell
+answeryd wyth a hye voyce and sayd: tell thy mayster I must nedys speke
+with hym or<a name="FNanchor_13_13" id="FNanchor_13_13"></a><a href="#Footnote_13_13" class="fnanchor">[13]</a> I go. Thys seconde seruaunt heryng * *</p>
+
+<p class="center">
+<i>8 lines of the original are wanting.</i></p>
+
+<p>the deuyll indede that is at the gate syttynge vpon an <i>horse laden
+with</i> soules; and be lykelyhode he<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_17" id="Page_17">[Pg 17]</a></span> is come for your soule. Purpos <i>ye</i>
+to <i>let him have your</i> soule and if he had your soule I wene he shulde
+be <i>gon</i>. <i>The gentyl</i>man, than, meruaylously abasshed, called his
+chaplayne <i>and sayd: let a can</i>dell be light, and gette holy water; and
+[he] wente to the gate <i>with as manye ser</i>uantes as durste go with him;
+where the chaplayne with <i>muche con</i>iuracyon sayd: in the name of the
+father, sonne and holy <i>ghost, I commande</i> and charge the in the holy
+name of God to tell me <i>wherefore thou</i> comeste hyther. &para; This John
+Adroynes in the deuylls <i>apparell</i>, seying them begynne to coniure after
+such maner, sayd: nay, <i>feare not</i> me; for I am a good deuyll; I am John
+Adroynes your neyghboure in this towne and he that playde the deuyll to
+day in the playe. I <i>bryng</i> my mayster a dosen or two of his owne conyes
+that were stolen in <i>dede</i> and theyr horse and theyr haye, and [I] made
+them for feare to ronne <i>awaye</i>. Whanne they harde hym thus speke by his
+voyce, [they] knewe him well, and opened the gate and lette hym come in.
+And so all the foresayd feare was turned to myrthe and disporte.</p>
+
+<p>By this tale ye may se that men feare many tymes more than they nede,
+whiche hathe caused men to beleue that sperytes and deuyls haue ben sene
+in dyuers places, whan it hathe ben nothynge so.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_18" id="Page_18">[Pg 18]</a></span></p>
+
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<h3><a name="Of_the_ryche_man_and_his_two_sonnes_iv" id="Of_the_ryche_man_and_his_two_sonnes_iv"></a>&para; <i>Of the ryche man and his two sonnes.</i> iv.</h3>
+
+
+<p>&para; There was a ryche man whiche lay sore sycke in his bedde to <i>deth</i>.
+<i>There</i>fore his eldest sonne came to hym, and besechyd him to gyue <i>him
+hys</i> blessyng, to whome the father sayde: sonne, thou shalt haue Goddes
+blessyng and myne; and because thou hast ben euer good of condicyons, I
+<i>giue and</i> bequethe the all my lande. To whome he answered and sayd: nay
+father, I truste you shall lyue and occupy them your selfe full well by
+Goddes grace. Sone after came another sonne to him lyke wyse and desyred
+his blessyng, to whome the father said: my sonne, thou hast been euer
+kynde and gentyll; I gyue the Goddes blessyng and myne; and I bequethe
+the all my mouable goodes. To whome he answered and said: nay father, I
+trust you shall lyue and do well and spende and vse your goodes
+<i>yourself</i> * * * *</p>
+
+<p class="center"><i>8 Lines wanting.</i>
+</p>
+
+<p>&mdash;<i>By this tale</i> men may well perceyue that yonge people that * * * * *
+* * theyr frendes counsell in youthe in tymes * * * * * full ende.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_19" id="Page_19">[Pg 19]</a></span></p>
+
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<h3><a name="Of_the_cockolde_who_gained_a_ring_by_his_iudgment_v" id="Of_the_cockolde_who_gained_a_ring_by_his_iudgment_v"></a>&para; <i>Of the cockolde who gained a ring by his iudgment.</i> v.</h3>
+
+
+<p>&para; <i>Two gentylmen</i> of acquoyntaunce were apoynted to lye with a
+gentylwoman both in one nyght, the one nat knowynge of the other, at
+<i>dyuers houres</i>. &para; Thys fyrste at hys houre apoynted came, and in the
+<i>bedde chanced</i> to lese a rynge. The seconde gentylman, whanne he <i>came
+to bedde</i>, fortuned to fynde the same rynge, and whan he hadde <i>stayde
+som tyme</i> departed. And two or thre dayes after, the fyrste gentylmanne
+<i>saw hys</i> rynge on the others fynger, and chalenged it of hym and he
+<i>refused it</i>, and badde hym tell where he had loste it: and he sayd: in
+suche a <i>gentylwo</i>mans bedde. Than quod the other: and there founde I
+it. And the <i>one gentylman</i> wolde haue it and the other said he shulde
+nat. Than they agreed <i>to be decyded</i> by the nexte man that they dyd
+mete. And it fortuned them to <i>mete</i> the husbande of the said gentyll
+woman and desyred hym of his <i>iudg</i>ment, shewynge hym all the hole
+mater. Than quod he: by my iud<i>gmente, he t</i>hat ought<a name="FNanchor_14_14" id="FNanchor_14_14"></a><a href="#Footnote_14_14" class="fnanchor">[14]</a> the shetes
+shulde haue the rynge. Than quod they: and <i>for your</i> good iudgement you
+shall haue the rynge.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_20" id="Page_20">[Pg 20]</a></span></p>
+
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<h3><a name="Of_the_scoler_that_gave_his_shoes_to_cloute_vi" id="Of_the_scoler_that_gave_his_shoes_to_cloute_vi"></a>&para; <i>Of the scoler that gave his shoes to cloute.</i> vi.</h3>
+
+
+<p>&para; In the Uniuersyte of Oxeforde there was a scoler that delyted moche to
+speke eloquente englyssshe and curious termes, and came to the cobler
+with his shoes whyche were pyked before (as they used that tyme), to
+have them clouted, and sayde this wyse: Cobler, I praye the sette <i>two
+try</i>angyls and two semycercles vpon my subpedytales, and I shall
+<i>paye</i> the for thy laboure. The cobeler, because he vnderstoode hym nat
+halfe, answered shortely and sayde: syr, your eloquence passeth myne
+intelly<i>gence</i>. But I promyse you, yf he meddyll with me the clowtynge
+of youre <i>shoon</i> shall cost you thre pens.</p>
+
+<p>By this tale men may lerne, that it is foly to study to speke eloquently
+before them, that be rude and vnlerned.</p>
+
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<h3><a name="Of_hym_that_said_that_a_womans_tongue_was_lightest_of_digestion" id="Of_hym_that_said_that_a_womans_tongue_was_lightest_of_digestion"></a>&para; <i>Of hym that said that a womans tongue was lightest of digestion.</i> vii.</h3>
+
+
+
+<p>&para; A certayn artificer in London there was, whyche was sore <i>seke and</i>
+coulde not well dysgest his meat. To whom a physicyon ca<i>m to give</i> hym
+councell, and sayd that he must vse to ete metis that be light <i>of
+dig</i>estyon and small byrdys, as sparowes,<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_21" id="Page_21">[Pg 21]</a></span> swalowes, and specyally that
+byrd <i>which is</i> called a wagtayle, whose flessh is meruelouse lyght of
+dygestyon, <i>bycause that</i> byrd is euer mouying and styryng. The sekeman,
+herynge the phesicion <i>say so</i>, answered hym and seyd: sir, yf that be
+the cause that those byrdes be lyght of dygestyon, than I know a mete
+moch lyghter of dygestyon than other<a name="FNanchor_15_15" id="FNanchor_15_15"></a><a href="#Footnote_15_15" class="fnanchor">[15]</a> sparow swallow or wagtaile, and
+that is my wyues tong, for it is neuer in rest but euer meuying<a name="FNanchor_16_16" id="FNanchor_16_16"></a><a href="#Footnote_16_16" class="fnanchor">[16]</a> and
+sterryng.</p>
+
+<p>By this tale ye may lerne a good generall rule of physyke.</p>
+
+
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<h3><a name="Of_the_woman_that_followed_her_fourth_husbands_bere_and_wept_viii" id="Of_the_woman_that_followed_her_fourth_husbands_bere_and_wept_viii"></a>&para; <i>Of the woman that followed her fourth husbands bere and wept.</i> viii.</h3>
+
+
+<p>&para; A woman there was which had had iiii husbandys. It fourtuned also that
+this fourth husbande dyed and was brought to chyrche vpon the bere; whom
+this woman folowed and made great mone, and waxed very sory, in so moche
+that her neyghbours thought she wolde swown and dye for sorow. Wherfore
+one of her gosseps cam to her, and spake to her in her ere, and bad her,
+for Godds sake, comfort her self and refrayne that lamentacion, or ellys
+it wold hurt her and perauenture put her in ieopardy of her life. To
+whom this<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_22" id="Page_22">[Pg 22]</a></span> woman answeryd and sayd: I wys, good gosyp, I haue grete
+cause to morne, if ye knew all. For I haue beryed iii husbandes besyde
+this man; but I was neuer in the case that I am now. For there was not
+one of them but when that I folowed the corse to chyrch, yet I was sure
+of an nother husband, before the corse cam out of my house, and now I am
+sure of no nother husband; and therfore ye may be sure I haue great
+cause to be sad and heuy.</p>
+
+<p>By thys tale ye may se that the olde prouerbe ys trew, that it is as
+great pyte to se a woman wepe as a gose to go barefote.</p>
+
+
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<h3><a name="Of_the_woman_that_sayd_her_woer_came_too_late_ix" id="Of_the_woman_that_sayd_her_woer_came_too_late_ix"></a>&para; <i>Of the woman that sayd her woer came too late.</i> ix.</h3>
+
+
+<p>&para; Another woman there was that knelyd at the mas of requiem, whyle the
+corse of her husbande lay on the bere in the chyrche. To whome a yonge
+man cam and spake wyth her in her ere, as thoughe it had ben for som
+mater concernyng the funerallys; howe be it he spake of no suche matter,
+but onely wowyd her that he myght be her husbande to whom she answered
+and sayde thus: syr, by my trouthe I am sory that ye come so late, for I
+am sped all redy. For I was made sure yesterday to another man.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_23" id="Page_23">[Pg 23]</a></span></p>
+
+<p>By thys tale ye maye perceyue that women ofte tymes be wyse and lothe to
+lose any tyme.</p>
+
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<h3><a name="Of_the_mylner_with_the_golden_thombe17_x" id="Of_the_mylner_with_the_golden_thombe17_x"></a>&para; <i>Of the mylner with the golden thombe.</i><a name="FNanchor_17_17" id="FNanchor_17_17"></a><a href="#Footnote_17_17" class="fnanchor">[17]</a> x.</h3>
+
+
+<p>&para; A marchaunt that thought to deride a mylner seyd vnto the mylner
+syttynge amonge company: sir, I haue harde say that euery trew mylner
+that tollyth trewlye hathe a gylden thombe. The myllner answeryd and
+sayde it was true. Than quod the marchant: I pray the let me se thy
+thombe; and when the mylner shewyd hys thombe the marchant sayd: I can
+not perceyue that thy thombe is gylt; but it is as all other mens
+thombes be. To whome the mylner answered and sayde: syr, treuthe it is
+that my thombe is gylt; but ye haue no power to se it: for there is a
+properte euer incydent <i>vnto it</i>, that he that is a cockolde shall neuer
+haue power to se it.<a name="FNanchor_18_18" id="FNanchor_18_18"></a><a href="#Footnote_18_18" class="fnanchor">[18]</a></p>
+
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<h3><a name="Of_the_horseman_of_Irelande_that_prayde_Oconer_for_to_hange_up_the" id="Of_the_horseman_of_Irelande_that_prayde_Oconer_for_to_hange_up_the"></a>&para; <i>Of the horseman of Irelande that prayde Oconer for to hange up the frere.</i> xi.</h3>
+
+
+
+<p>&para; One whiche was called Oconer, an Yrysshe lorde, toke an horsman
+prisoner that was one of<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_24" id="Page_24">[Pg 24]</a></span> hys great enmys whiche for any request or
+entrety that the horsman made gaue iugement that he sholde incontynent
+be hanged, and made a frere to shryue hym and bad hym make hem redy to
+dye. Thys frere that shroue him examyned hym of dyuers synnes, and asked
+him amonge other whiche were the gretteste synnes that euer he dyd. This
+horsman answered and sayd: one of the greatest actys that euer I dyd
+whiche I now most repent is that, whan I toke Oconer the last weke in a
+chyrche, and there I myght haue brennyd<a name="FNanchor_19_19" id="FNanchor_19_19"></a><a href="#Footnote_19_19" class="fnanchor">[19]</a> hym chyrche and all, and
+because I had conscience and pyte of brennyng of the chyrche, I taryed
+the tyme so long, that Oconer escaped; and that same deferrynge of
+brennynge of the chyrche and so longe taryeng of that tyme is one of the
+worst actes that euer I dyd wherof I moste<a name="FNanchor_20_20" id="FNanchor_20_20"></a><a href="#Footnote_20_20" class="fnanchor">[20]</a> repent. This frere
+perceuynge hym in that mynde sayde: peace in the name of God, and change
+thy mynde and dye in charite, or els thou shalt neuer come in heuen.
+Nay, quod the horsman, I wyll neuer chaunge that mynde what so euer
+shall come to my soule. Thys frere perceyuynge hym thus styl contynew
+his minde, cam to Oconer and sayde: syr, in the name of God, haue some
+pyte vppon this mannys sowle, and let hym not dye now, tyl<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_25" id="Page_25">[Pg 25]</a></span> he be in a
+beter mynde. For yf he dye now, he is so ferre out of cheryte, that
+vtterly his soule shall be dampned, and [he] shewyd hym what minde he
+was in and all the hole mater as is before shewyd. Thys horsman, herynge
+the frere thus intrete for hym, sayd to Oconer thus: Oconer, thou seest
+well by thys mannys reporte that, yf I dye now, I am out of charyte and
+not redy to go to heuen; and so it is that I am now out of charyte in
+dede; but thou seest well that this frere is a good man and he is now
+well dysposed and in charyte and he is redy to go to heuen, and so am
+not I. Therfore I pray the hang vp this frere, whyle that he is redy to
+go to heuen and let me tary tyl another tyme, that I may be in charyte
+and redy and mete to go to heuen. Thys Oconer, herying thys mad answere
+of hym, sparyd the man and forgaue hym hys lyfe at that season.</p>
+
+<p>By thys ye may se, that he that is in danger of hys enmye that hath no
+pite, he can do no beter but shew to hym the vttermost of his malycyous
+mynde whych that he beryth to ward hym.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_26" id="Page_26">[Pg 26]</a></span></p>
+
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<h3><a name="Of_the_preest_that_sayd_nother_corpus_meus_nor_corpus_meum_xii" id="Of_the_preest_that_sayd_nother_corpus_meus_nor_corpus_meum_xii"></a>&para; <i>Of the preest that sayd nother corpus meus nor corpus meum.</i> xii.</h3>
+
+
+<p>&para; The archdekyn of Essex<a name="FNanchor_21_21" id="FNanchor_21_21"></a><a href="#Footnote_21_21" class="fnanchor">[21]</a> that had ben longe in auctorite, in a tyme
+of vysytacyon, whan all the prestys apperyd before hym, called asyde iii
+of the yonge prestys which were acusyd that thy could not wel say theyr
+dyvyne seruyce, and askyd of them when they sayd mas, whether they sayd
+corpus meus or corpum meum. The fyrst prest sayde that he sayd corpus
+meus. The second sayd that he sayd corpum meum. And than he asked of the
+thyrd how he sayde; whyche answered and sayd thus: syr, because it is so
+great a dout and dyuers men be in dyuers opynyons: therfore because I
+wolde be sure I wolde not offende, whan I come to the place I leue it
+clene out and say nothynge therfore. Wherfore the bysshoppe than openly
+rebuked them all thre. But dyuers that were present thought more defaut
+in hym, because he hym selfe beforetyme had admytted them to be prestys.</p>
+
+<p>By this tale ye may se that one ought to take hede how he rebukyth an
+other lest it torne moste to his owne rebuke.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_27" id="Page_27">[Pg 27]</a></span></p>
+
+
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<h3><a name="Of_two_freres_whereof_the_one_loued_nat_the_ele_heed_nor_the_other" id="Of_two_freres_whereof_the_one_loued_nat_the_ele_heed_nor_the_other"></a>&para; <i>Of two freres whereof the one loued nat the ele heed nor the other the tayle.</i> xiii.</h3>
+
+
+
+<p>&para; Two freres satte at a gentylmans tabyll, whiche had before hym on a
+fastyng day an ele and cut the hed of the ele and layd it vpon one of
+the frerys trenchars; but the frere, bycause he wold haue had of the
+middle parte of the ele, sayd to the gentylman he louyd no ele hedes.
+Thys gentylman also cut the tayle of the ele, and layde it on the other
+frerys trenchar. He lyke wyse, because he wolde haue had of the myddle
+parte of the ele, sayde he loued no ele tayles. This gentylman,
+perceuynge that, gaue the tayle to hym that sayd he louyd not the hed,
+and gaue the hed to hym that sayd he loued not the tayle. And as fore
+the myddell part of the ele, he ete parte hym selfe and parte he gaue to
+other folke at the table; wherfore these freres for anger wolde ete
+neuer a morsell, and so they for al theyr craft and subtylte were not
+only deceyued of the best morsell of the ele, but thereof had no parte
+at all.</p>
+
+<p>By this ye se that they that couet the best parte somtyme therfore lese
+the meane parte and all.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_28" id="Page_28">[Pg 28]</a></span></p>
+
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<h3><a name="Of_the_welche_man_that_shroue_hym_for_brekynge_of_hys_faste_on_the" id="Of_the_welche_man_that_shroue_hym_for_brekynge_of_hys_faste_on_the"></a>&para; <i>Of the welche man that shroue hym for brekynge of hys faste on the fryday.</i> xiv.</h3>
+
+
+
+<p>&para; A Welcheman, dwellynge in a wylde place of Walys, cam to hys curate in
+the tyme of Lente and was confessyd; and when hys confessyon was in
+maner at the end, the curate askyd hym, and<a name="FNanchor_22_22" id="FNanchor_22_22"></a><a href="#Footnote_22_22" class="fnanchor">[22]</a> he had any other thyng
+to say that greuyd his conscience. Which sore abasshid answered no worde
+a great whyle; at last by exhortacyon of his goostly fader he sayde that
+there was one thyng in his mynde that greatly greued his conscyence,
+which he was asshamed to vtter: for it was so greuous that he trowed God
+wold neuer forgyue hym. To whom the curate answerd and sayd, that Goddes
+mercy was aboue all, and bad hym not dyspayre in the mercy of God. For
+what so euer it was, yf he were repentant, that God wolde forgyue hym. &para;
+And so by longe exortacyon at the last he shewyd it and seyde thus. Syr,
+it happenyd ones that, as my wyfe was makynge a chese vpon a Fryday, I
+wolde fayne haue sayed whether it had ben salt or fresshe, and toke a
+lytyll of the whey in my hande, and put it in my mouthe; and or<a name="FNanchor_23_23" id="FNanchor_23_23"></a><a href="#Footnote_23_23" class="fnanchor">[23]</a> I
+was ware, parte of it went<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_29" id="Page_29">[Pg 29]</a></span> downe my throte agaynst my wyll and so I
+brake my faste. To whom the curate sayde: and if there be non other
+thynge, I warant God shall forgyue the. So whan he had well comforted
+hym with the mercy of God, the curate prayed hym to answere a questyon
+and to tell hym trueth; and when the welchman had promysed to tell the
+truth, the curate sayd that there were robberyes and murders done nye
+the place where he dwelte and diuers men found slayn; and asked hym
+whether <i>he knew ought</i> poyntynge<a name="FNanchor_24_24" id="FNanchor_24_24"></a><a href="#Footnote_24_24" class="fnanchor">[24]</a> to any of them. To whom he
+answeryd and sayd yes and sayd <i>he had ben priuye</i> to many of them, and
+dyd helpe to robe and to slee dyuers of them. <i>Then the</i> curate asked
+hym, why he dyd not conffesse hym therof. The Welshman <i>answeryd</i> and
+sayde he toke that for no synne: for it was a custome amongest <i>them
+that</i>, when any boty cam of any ryche merchant rydyng, that it was but a
+<i>trewe</i> neyboure dede one to help another when one callyd another; and
+so they <i>held it</i> but for good felowshyp and neyghbourhood.</p>
+
+<p><i>Here</i> maye ye se that some haue remorse of conscyence of small venyall
+<i>sinnis and</i> fere not to do gret offencys without shame of the
+worled<a name="FNanchor_25_25" id="FNanchor_25_25"></a><a href="#Footnote_25_25" class="fnanchor">[25]</a> or drede of <i>God</i>; and, as the comon prouerbe is, they
+stumble at a strawe and lepe ouer a blocke.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_30" id="Page_30">[Pg 30]</a></span></p>
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<h3><a name="Of_the_merchaunte_of_London_that_dyd_put_nobles_in_his_mouthe_in_hys" id="Of_the_merchaunte_of_London_that_dyd_put_nobles_in_his_mouthe_in_hys"></a>&para; <i>Of the merchaunte of London that dyd put nobles in his mouthe in hys dethe bedde.</i> xv.</h3>
+
+
+
+<p>&para; A ryche couetous marchant there was that dwellid in London, which euer
+gaderyd mony and could neuer fynd in hys hert to spend ought <i>vpon</i> hym
+selfe nor vpon no man els. Whiche fell sore syke, and as he laye on hys
+deth bed had his purs lyenge at his beddys hede, and [he] had suche a
+loue to his money that he put his hande in his purs, and toke out therof
+x or xii li. in nobles and put them in his mouth. And because his wyfe
+and other perceyued hym very syke and lyke to dye, they exortyd hym to
+be confessyd, and brought the curate vnto hym. Which when they had
+caused him to say Benedicite, the curate bad hym crye God mercy and
+shewe to hym his synnes. Than this seyck man began to sey: I crey God
+mercy I haue offendyd in the vii dedly synnes and broken the x
+commaundementes; but<a name="FNanchor_26_26" id="FNanchor_26_26"></a><a href="#Footnote_26_26" class="fnanchor">[26]</a> because of the gold in his mouth he muffled so
+in his speche, that the curate could not well vnder<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_31" id="Page_31">[Pg 31]</a></span>stande hym: wherfore
+the curat askyd hym, what he had in his mouthe that letted his spech. I
+wys, mayster parsone, quod the syke man, muffelynge, I haue nothyng in
+my mouthe but a lyttle money; bycause I wot not whither<a name="FNanchor_27_27" id="FNanchor_27_27"></a><a href="#Footnote_27_27" class="fnanchor">[27]</a> I shal go, I
+thought I wold take some spendynge money with me: for I wot not what
+nede I shall haue therof; and incontynent after that sayeng dyed, before
+he was confessyd or repentant that any man coulde perceyue, and so by
+lyklyhod went to the deuyll.</p>
+
+<p>By this tale ye may se, that they that all theyr lyues wyll neuer do
+charyte to theyr neghbours, that God in tyme of theyr dethe wyll not
+suffre them to haue grace of repentaunce.</p>
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<h3><a name="Of_the_mylner_that_stale_the_nuttes_of_the_tayler_that_stale_a" id="Of_the_mylner_that_stale_the_nuttes_of_the_tayler_that_stale_a"></a>&para; <i>Of the mylner that stale the nuttes of the tayler that stale a shepe.</i> xvi.</h3>
+
+
+
+<p>&para; There was a certayne ryche husbandman in a vyllage, whiche louyd
+nuttes meruelously well and sette trees of fylberdes and other nutte
+trees in his orcharde, and norysshed them well all his lyfe; and when he
+dyed he made his executours to make promyse to bery with him in his
+graue a bagge of nuttes, or els they sholde not be his<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_32" id="Page_32">[Pg 32]</a></span> executours;
+which executours, for fere of lesynge of theyre romes<a name="FNanchor_28_28" id="FNanchor_28_28"></a><a href="#Footnote_28_28" class="fnanchor">[28]</a> fulfylled his
+mynde and dyd so. It happenyd that, the same nyghte after that he was
+beryed, there was a mylner in a whyte cote cam to this mannes garden to
+the entent to stele a bagge of nuttes; and in the way he met wyth a
+tayler in a black cote, an vnthrift of hys acquayntance, and shewyd hym
+hys intent. This tayler lykewyse shewyd hym, that he intendyd the same
+tyme to stele a shepe; and so they bothe there agred to go forwarde
+euery man seuerally wyth hys purpose; and after that they apoynted to
+make god chere eche wyth other and to mete agayn in the chyrch porch,
+and he that cam fyrste to tarye for the other. This mylner, when he had
+spede of hys nuttys, came furst to the chyrch porch, and there taryed
+for hys felow, and the mene whyle satte styll there and knakked nuttes.
+It fortuned than the sexten of the church, because yt was about ix of
+the cloke, cam to ryng curfue; and whan he lokyd in the porche and sawe
+one all in whyte knakkynge nuttes he had wente<a name="FNanchor_29_29" id="FNanchor_29_29"></a><a href="#Footnote_29_29" class="fnanchor">[29]</a> it had bene the dede
+man rysyn owt of hys graue,<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_33" id="Page_33">[Pg 33]</a></span> knakkynge the nuttes that were beryed wyth
+hym, and ran home agayne in all hast and tolde to a krepyll that was in
+his house what he had sene. Thys crepyll, thus herynge hym, rebuked the
+sexten and sayd that yf he were able to go he wolde go thyder and
+coniure the spyryte. By my trouthe, quod the sexten, and yf thou darest
+do that, I wyll bere the on my neck; and so they both agreed. The sexten
+toke the creple on his nek, and cam in to the chyrchyarde again, and the
+mylner in the porch seeing<a name="FNanchor_30_30" id="FNanchor_30_30"></a><a href="#Footnote_30_30" class="fnanchor">[30]</a> one comynge beryng a thynge on his necke
+had went<a name="FNanchor_31_31" id="FNanchor_31_31"></a><a href="#Footnote_31_31" class="fnanchor">[31]</a> it had ben the tayler comynge with the shepe, and rose vp
+to mete them. And as he cam towarde them, he askyd and sayd: is he fat,
+is he fat? The sexten, heryng hym sey so, for fere cast the crepull down
+and sayd: fatte or lene, take hym as he is; and ranne awaye; and the
+creple by myracle was made hole, and ran away as fast as he or faster.
+Thys mylner perceyuyng that they were two, and that one ran after an
+other, thoughte that one had spyed the tayler stelyng the shepe, and
+that he had ron after hym to haue taken hym; and fearyng that one had
+spyed hym also stelynge the nuttes, he for feare lefte hys nuttes behynd
+him; and as secretly as he cowde ran home to hys myll. And anon<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_34" id="Page_34">[Pg 34]</a></span> after
+that he was gone, the tayler cam wyth the stolen shepe vppon hys necke
+to the chyrche to seke the mylner; and whan he fownde there the nutte
+shalys,<a name="FNanchor_32_32" id="FNanchor_32_32"></a><a href="#Footnote_32_32" class="fnanchor">[32]</a> he supposyd that his felow had ben ther and gone home, as he
+was in dede; wherfore he toke vp the shepe agayne on his necke, [and]
+went towarde the myll. But yet durynge this while, the sexten which
+ranne away went not to hys owne house, but went to the parysh prestys
+chamber, and shewyd hym how the spyryt of the man was rysen out of hys
+graue knacking nuttes, as ye haue hard before; wherfore the prest sayd
+that he wolde go coniure hym, yf the sexten wolde go wyth hym; and so
+they bothe agreed. The prest dyd on hys surples and a stole about hys
+necke, and toke holy water wyth hym, and cam wyth the sexten toward the
+church; and as sone as he entred in the chyrche yard, the talyer wyth
+the whyte shepe on hys neck intendyng, as I before haue shewyd yow, to
+go downe to the myll, met with them, and had went that the prest in his
+surples had ben the mylner in his whyte cote, and seyd to hym: by God! I
+haue hym, I haue hym! meanynge thereby<a name="FNanchor_33_33" id="FNanchor_33_33"></a><a href="#Footnote_33_33" class="fnanchor">[33]</a> the shepe that he had stolen.
+The prest, perceyuynge the tayller all in blake and a whyte thynge on
+hys nek, had went it had ben<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_35" id="Page_35">[Pg 35]</a></span> the deuyll beryng away the spyryte of the
+dede man that was beryed, and ran away as fast as he coude, takyng the
+way down towarde the myl, and the sexten ronnyng after hym. Thys tayler,
+seying one folowyng hym, had went that one had folowed the mylner to
+haue done hym som hurt, and thought he wold folow, if nede were to help
+the milner; and went forth, tyl he cam to the mill and knocked at the
+myll dore. The mylner beynge wythin asked who was there. The tayler
+answeryd and sayd: by God! I haue caught one of them, and made hym sure
+and tyed hym fast by the legges. But the mylner, heryng him sey that he
+had hym tyed fast by the legges, had went it had ben the constable, that
+had taken the tayler for stelyng of the shepe, and had tyed hym by the
+legges; and ferid that he had come to haue taken hym also for stelynge
+of the nuttes: wherfore the mylner opened a bak dore, and ran away as
+fast as he could. The tayler, herynge the backe dore openynge, wente to
+the other syde of the myll, and there saw the mylner ronnyng away, and
+stode ther a lytyll whyle musyng wyth the shepe on his necke. Then was
+the parysshe preest and the sexten standynge there vnder the mylhouse
+hydyng them for fere, and seeing<a name="FNanchor_34_34" id="FNanchor_34_34"></a><a href="#Footnote_34_34" class="fnanchor">[34]</a> the<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_36" id="Page_36">[Pg 36]</a></span> tayler agayn with the shepe on
+hys nek, had wende styll it had ben the deuyll wyth the spyryt of the
+dede man on<a name="FNanchor_35_35" id="FNanchor_35_35"></a><a href="#Footnote_35_35" class="fnanchor">[35]</a> hys nek, and for fere ran awaye; but because they knew
+not the grounde well, the preste lepte into a dyche almoste ouer the hed
+lyke to be drownyde, that he cryed wyth a loude voyce: help, helpe! Than
+the tayler lokyd about, and seeing<a name="FNanchor_36_36" id="FNanchor_36_36"></a><a href="#Footnote_36_36" class="fnanchor">[36]</a> the mylner ronne away and the
+sexten a nother way, and hearing<a name="FNanchor_37_37" id="FNanchor_37_37"></a><a href="#Footnote_37_37" class="fnanchor">[37]</a> the preste creye helpe, had went it
+had ben the constable wyth a great company cryeng for helpe to take him
+and to bring hym to pryson for stelyng of the shepe: wherfore he threwe
+down the shepe and ran away another way as fast as he coud: and so euery
+man was afferd of other wythout cause.</p>
+
+<p>By thys ye may se well, it is foly for any man to fere a thyng to moche,
+tyll that he se some profe or cause.</p>
+
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<h3><a name="Of_the_foure_elementes_where_they_shoulde_sone_be_founde_xvii" id="Of_the_foure_elementes_where_they_shoulde_sone_be_founde_xvii"></a>&para; <i>Of the foure elementes where they shoulde sone be founde.</i> xvii.</h3>
+
+
+<p>&para; In the old world when all thyng could speke, the iiii elementys<a name="FNanchor_38_38" id="FNanchor_38_38"></a><a href="#Footnote_38_38" class="fnanchor">[38]</a>
+mette to geder for many thynges whych they had to do, because they must
+meddell alway one wyth a nother, and had communicacion<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_37" id="Page_37">[Pg 37]</a></span> to gyder of
+dyuers maters; and by cause they coulde not conclude all theyr maters at
+that season, they appoyntyd to breke communicacion for that tyme and to
+mete agayne another tyme. Therfore eche one of them shewed to other
+where theyr most abydyng was and where theyr felows shoulde fynde them,
+yf nede shuld requyre; and fyrste the erthe sayde: bretherne, ye knowe
+well as for me I am permanent alway and not remouable; therfore ye may
+be sure to haue me alway whan ye lyste. The wather sayde: yf ye lyst to
+seke me, ye shall be sure to haue me under a toft of grene rushes or
+elles in a womans eye. The wynde sayde: yf ye lyst to speke wyth me, ye
+shall be sure to haue me among aspyn leuys or els in a womans tong. Then
+quod the fyre: yf any of you lyst to seke me, ye shall euer be sure to
+fynd me in a flynt stone er elles in a womans harte.</p>
+
+<p>By thys tale ye may lerne as well the properte of the iiii elementys as
+the properteis<a name="FNanchor_39_39" id="FNanchor_39_39"></a><a href="#Footnote_39_39" class="fnanchor">[39]</a> of a woman.</p>
+
+
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<h3><a name="Of_the_woman_that_poured_the_potage_in_the_iudges_male_xviii" id="Of_the_woman_that_poured_the_potage_in_the_iudges_male_xviii"></a>&para; <i>Of the woman that poured the potage in the iudges male.</i> xviii.</h3>
+
+
+<p>&para; There was a iustyce but late in the reame of England callyd master
+Vavesour,<a name="FNanchor_40_40" id="FNanchor_40_40"></a><a href="#Footnote_40_40" class="fnanchor">[40]</a> a uery homely man and rude of condycyons, and louyd neuer
+to spend mych money. Thys master Vauysour rode<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_38" id="Page_38">[Pg 38]</a></span> on a tyme in hys
+cyrcuyte in the northe contrey, where he had agreed wyth the sheryf for
+a certain some of money for hys charges thorowe the shyre, so that at
+euery inne and lodgynge this master Vauysour payd for hys owne costys.
+It fortunyd so, that when he cam to a certayn lodgyng he comaunded one
+Turpyn hys seruant to se that he used good husbondry<a name="FNanchor_41_41" id="FNanchor_41_41"></a><a href="#Footnote_41_41" class="fnanchor">[41]</a> and to saue
+suche thynges as were left and to cary it wyth hym to serue hym at the
+nexte baytynge. Thys Turpyn, doyng hys maystres commandement, toke the
+broken bred, broken mete and all such thyng that was left, and put it in
+hys maysters cloth sak. The wyfe of the hous, perceyuing that he toke
+all suche fragmentys and vytayle wyth hym that was left, and put it in
+the cloth sake, she brought vp the podage that was left in the pot; and
+when Turpyn had torned hys bake a lytyl asyde, she pouryd the podage in
+to the cloth sake, whych ran vpon hys robe of skarlet and other of hys
+garmentys and rayed<a name="FNanchor_42_42" id="FNanchor_42_42"></a><a href="#Footnote_42_42" class="fnanchor">[42]</a> them very euyll, that they were mych hurt
+therwyth. Thys Turpyn, sodeynly turnyng<a name="FNanchor_43_43" id="FNanchor_43_43"></a><a href="#Footnote_43_43" class="fnanchor">[43]</a> hym and seeing<a name="FNanchor_44_44" id="FNanchor_44_44"></a><a href="#Footnote_44_44" class="fnanchor">[44]</a> it,
+reuyled the wyfe therfore, and ran to hys mayster<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_39" id="Page_39">[Pg 39]</a></span> and told hym what she
+had don: wherfore master Vauesour incontinent callyd the wyf and seyd to
+her thus: thou drab, quod he, what hast thow don? why hast thou pourd
+the podage in my cloth sake and marrd my rayment and gere? O, syr, quod
+the wyfe, I know wel ye ar a iudge of the realme, and I perceyue by you
+your mind is to do ryght and to haue that is your owen; and your mynd is
+to haue all thyng wyth you that ye haue payd for, both broken mete and
+other thynges that is left, and so it is reson that ye haue; and
+therfore be cause your seruant hath taken the broken mete and put it in
+your cloth sak, I haue therin put the potage that be left, because ye
+haue wel and truly payed for them. Yf I shoulde kepe ony thynge from you
+that ye haue payed for, paraduenture ye wold troble me in the law a
+nother tyme.</p>
+
+<p>Here ye may se, that he that playth the nygarde to mych, som tyme it
+torneth him to hys owne losse.</p>
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<h3><a name="Of_the_wedded_men_that_came_to_heuen_to_clayme_theyr_herytage_xix" id="Of_the_wedded_men_that_came_to_heuen_to_clayme_theyr_herytage_xix"></a>&para; <i>Of the wedded men that came to heuen to clayme theyr herytage.</i> xix.</h3>
+
+
+<p>&para; A certayn weddyd man there was whyche, whan he was dede, cam to heuen
+gates to seynt Peter, and sayd he cam to clayme hys bad heretage whyche
+he had deseruyd. Saynt Peter askyd hym<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_40" id="Page_40">[Pg 40]</a></span> what he was, and he sayd a
+weddyd man. Anon Saynt Peter openyd the gatys, and bad hym to com in,
+and sayde he was worthye to haue hys herytage, bycause he had had much
+troble and was worthye to haue a crowne of glory. Anon after there cam a
+nother man that claymyd heuen, and sayd to Seynt Peter he had hade ii
+wyues, to whom Saynt Peter answered and said: come in, for thou art
+worthy to haue a doble crown of glory: for thou hast had doble trouble.
+At the last there cam the thyrd, claymynge hys herytage and sayde to
+Saynt Peter that he had had iii wyues, and desyryd to come in. What!
+quod Saynt Peter, thou hast ben ones in troble and thereof delyueryd,
+and than wyllingly woldyst be troblyd again, and yet agayne therof
+delyueryd; and for all that coulde not beware the thyrde tyme, but
+enterest wyllyngly in troble agayn: therfore go thy waye to Hell: for
+thou shalt neuer come in heuen: for thou art not worthy.</p>
+
+<p>Thys tale is a warnyng to them that haue bene twyse in paryll to beware
+how they come therin the thyrd tyme.</p>
+
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<h3><a name="Of_the_merchaunte_that_charged_his_sonne_to_fynde_one_to_synge_for" id="Of_the_merchaunte_that_charged_his_sonne_to_fynde_one_to_synge_for"></a>&para; <i>Of the merchaunte that charged his sonne to fynde one to synge for  hys soule.</i> xx.</h3>
+
+
+
+<p>&para; A ryche marchant of London here was, that had one sonne that was
+somewhat vnthryfty. Ther<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_41" id="Page_41">[Pg 41]</a></span>fore hys fader vppon hys deth bed called hym to
+hym, and sayde he knew well that he had ben vnthryfty; how be it, yf he
+knew he wold amend hys condycyons he wolde make hym hys executour and
+leue hym hys goods, so that he wolde promyse hym to pray for hys soule
+and so fynde one dayly to syng for hym: which thyng to performe hys
+sonne there made a faythfull promyse. After that this man made hym hys
+executour, and dyed. But after that hys sonne kept such ryot, that in
+short tyme he had wasted and spente all, and had nothynge left but a
+henne and a cocke that was his fader's. It fortunyd than that one of hys
+frendys came to hym, and sayd he was sory that he had wasted so moch,
+and askyd hym how he wolde performe hys promyse made to hys fader that
+he wolde kepe one to syng for hym. Thys yong man answered and sayde: by
+God! yet I wyll performe my promyse: for I wyll kepe this same cocke
+alyue styl, and he wyl krow euery day, and so he shall synge euery day
+for my faders soule; and so I wyl performe my promyse wel ynough.</p>
+
+<p>By thys ye maye se, that it is wysdome for a man to do good dedys hym
+selfe, whyle he is here, and not to trust to the prayer and promyse of
+hys executours.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_42" id="Page_42">[Pg 42]</a></span></p>
+
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<h3><a name="Of_the_mayde_wasshynge_clothes_that_answered_the_frere_xxi" id="Of_the_mayde_wasshynge_clothes_that_answered_the_frere_xxi"></a>&para; <i>Of the mayde wasshynge clothes that answered the frere.</i> xxi.</h3>
+
+
+<p>&para; There was a mayde stode by a reuers syde in her smoke,<a name="FNanchor_45_45" id="FNanchor_45_45"></a><a href="#Footnote_45_45" class="fnanchor">[45]</a> wasshynge
+clothes, and as she stouped ofttymes, her smocke cleued betune her
+buttockkes. By whome there cam a frere, seynge<a name="FNanchor_46_46" id="FNanchor_46_46"></a><a href="#Footnote_46_46" class="fnanchor">[46]</a> her and sayde in
+sporte: mayde, mayde, take hede: for Bayarde bytes on the brydell.<a name="FNanchor_47_47" id="FNanchor_47_47"></a><a href="#Footnote_47_47" class="fnanchor">[47]</a>
+Nay, wys [I], master frere, quod the mayden, he doth but wype hys
+mouthe, and wenyth ye wyll come and kysse hym.</p>
+
+<p>By thys ye may se that womans answer is neuer to seke.</p>
+
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<h3><a name="Of_the_thre_wyse_men_of_Gotam_xxii" id="Of_the_thre_wyse_men_of_Gotam_xxii"></a>&para; <i>Of the thre wyse men of Gotam.</i> xxii.</h3>
+
+
+<p>&para; A certayn man there was dwellynge in a towne called Gotam that went to
+a fayre iii myle for to bye shepe; and as he cam ouer a bryge he met
+with one of hys neyghbours and told hym whether<a name="FNanchor_48_48" id="FNanchor_48_48"></a><a href="#Footnote_48_48" class="fnanchor">[48]</a> he went, and askyd
+hym whych way he wold bryng them. Whyche sayd he wolde brynge them ouer
+the same bryge. Nay, quod the other man, but thou shalt not, by God!
+quod</p>
+
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_43" id="Page_43">[Pg 43]</a></span></p>
+<p class="center">
+<i>4 lines of the original are wanting.</i>
+</p>
+
+<p><i>Presently there came a milner, who bore a sack of</i><a name="FNanchor_49_49" id="FNanchor_49_49"></a><a href="#Footnote_49_49" class="fnanchor">[49]</a> mele vpon a
+horse, a neybour of theyrs, and paciently askyd them what was the cause
+of theyr varyaunce; which than she<i>wyd to hym</i> the mater and cause, as
+ye haue harde. Thys thyrde man, the mylner, <i>beganne</i> for to rebuke them
+by a famylyer example, and toke his sacke of mele <i>from</i> his horse backe
+and openyd it, and pouryd all the mele in the sacke ouer the brydge into
+the ronnynge ryuer; wherby all the mele was lost, and sayde thus: by my
+trouthe, neybours, because ye stryue for dryuynge ouer the brydge those
+shepe which be not yet boughte, nor wotte not where they be, me thynketh
+therfore there is euen as moche wytte in your hedes as there is mele now
+in my <i>sacke</i>.</p>
+
+<p>Thys tale shewyth you, that som man takyth <i>upon him for to teche</i> other
+men wysdome, when he is but a fole hymselfe.</p>
+
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<h3><a name="Of_the_graye_frere_that_answered_his_penytente_xxiii" id="Of_the_graye_frere_that_answered_his_penytente_xxiii"></a>&para; <i>Of the graye frere that answered his penytente.</i> xxiii.</h3>
+
+
+<p>&para; A man there was that cam to confesse hym to a <i>prest and tolde</i> hym,
+that he had layne with a<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_44" id="Page_44">[Pg 44]</a></span> yonge gentyll woman. The <i>prest then</i> asked
+hym in what place; and he sayde it was in * * * all nyght longe in a
+soft warme bed. The frere herynge that * * * thys and sayd: Now, by
+swete seynt Francys, then, wast thou very<a name="FNanchor_50_50" id="FNanchor_50_50"></a><a href="#Footnote_50_50" class="fnanchor">[50]</a> * * *</p>
+
+
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<h3><a name="Of_the_gentylman_that_bare_the_sege_borde_on_hys_necke_xxiv" id="Of_the_gentylman_that_bare_the_sege_borde_on_hys_necke_xxiv"></a>&para; <i>Of the gentylman that bare the sege borde on hys necke.</i> xxiv.</h3>
+
+
+<p>&para; <span class="smcap">A chandeler</span> beynge a wydower, dwellynge at Holborne, <i>neere</i> London,
+had a fayr doughter whom a yonge gentelman of Dauys Ynne<a name="FNanchor_51_51" id="FNanchor_51_51"></a><a href="#Footnote_51_51" class="fnanchor">[51]</a> woyd<a name="FNanchor_52_52" id="FNanchor_52_52"></a><a href="#Footnote_52_52" class="fnanchor">[52]</a>
+sore to haue hys pleasure of her, whyche by longe sute to her made, at
+the last graunted hym, and poynted hym to com upon a nyghte to her
+faders hous in the euenynge, and she wold conuey hym into her chamber
+secretly, which was an inner chamber within her faders chamber. So
+accordynge to the poyntment all thynge was performed, so that he lay
+wyth her all nyght, and made good chere tell about foure a clocke in the
+mornynge, at whyche tyme it fortunyd this yonge gentylman fell a
+coughynge, whych cam vpon hym so sore that he could<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_45" id="Page_45">[Pg 45]</a></span> not refrayn. Thys
+wench, than fering her fader that lay in the next chamber, bad hym go
+put hys hede in the draught, lest that her fader shold here hym: whych
+after her councel rose in his shyrte, and so dyd. But than because of
+the sauour of the draught it causyd hym to coughe moche more and louder,
+that the wenchys fader herde it, and askyd of hys daughter what man it
+was that coughed in her chamber. She aswered and said: no body. But euer
+this yong man coughed styll more and more, whom the fader herynge sayd:
+by Goddes body! hore, thou lyest; I wyll se who is there;&mdash;and rose out
+of his bedde. Thys wenche perceyued her fader rysinge, [and] cam to the
+gentylman and sayde: take hede syr to your selfe: for my fader comyth.
+This gentylman, sodeynly therwyth abasshyd, wolde haue pullyd his hede
+oute of the draughte hole, which was [so] very streyghte for hys hede
+that he pullyd the sege borde vp therwyth, and, [it] hangyng about his
+neck, ran vpon the fader beynge an olde man, and gaue hym a great fall
+and bare <i>him to the ground</i>.</p>
+
+<p class="center">
+<i>8 lines wanting.</i>
+</p>
+
+<p>here was two or thre skyttysh horses whych, when they se this gentylman
+ronnyng, start[ed] asyde and threwe downe the cart wyth colys, and drew
+<i>backe</i><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_46" id="Page_46">[Pg 46]</a></span> and brake the carte rope, wherby the colys fell out, some in
+one place and <i>some in</i> another; and after the horses brake theyr tracys
+and ranne, some towarde Smythfelde and som toward Newgate. The
+colyar<a name="FNanchor_53_53" id="FNanchor_53_53"></a><a href="#Footnote_53_53" class="fnanchor">[53]</a> ran after them, and was an houre and more, or<a name="FNanchor_54_54" id="FNanchor_54_54"></a><a href="#Footnote_54_54" class="fnanchor">[54]</a> euer he
+coulde gette his horses to gyder agayne; by which tyme the people of the
+strete were rysen and cam to the <i>place</i>, and saw yt strawyn with colys.
+Euery one for hys parte gaderyd vp <i>the colys, tyll the</i> most parte of
+the colys were gone, or the colyar had got his horses <i>agayne</i>. <i>Duryng
+thys</i> whyle the gentylman went thrugh Seynt Andrews <i>Chyrch Yarde
+towarde</i> Dauys Inne, and there met with the sexten commynge to attend to
+<i>ring the bell for</i> morow mas: whych, whan he saw the gentylman in the
+<i>Chyrche Yarde in hys</i> shyrt wyth the draught borde<a name="FNanchor_55_55" id="FNanchor_55_55"></a><a href="#Footnote_55_55" class="fnanchor">[55]</a> about his neck,
+had wend<a name="FNanchor_56_56" id="FNanchor_56_56"></a><a href="#Footnote_56_56" class="fnanchor">[56]</a> <i>it had ben a spryt, and</i> cried: alas, alas, a spryt! and
+ran back again to his house almost atte b * * for fere was almoste out
+of his wytte that he was the worse <i>a long time after</i>. This gentilman,
+than, because dauys inne gatys were not open, <i>ranne to the ba</i>cksyde
+and lept ouer the garden wal; but, in lepyng, the draught-bord so
+troubled hym, that he fell downe into the gardyn and had almoste<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_47" id="Page_47">[Pg 47]</a></span> broken
+his necke: and ther he lay styll, tyll that the pryncypall cam into the
+garden; which, wan he saw hym lye there, had wente some man had ben
+slayne and there caste ouer the wall, and durst not come nye him, tyll
+he had callyd vp hys companye which, when many of the gentylmen<a name="FNanchor_57_57" id="FNanchor_57_57"></a><a href="#Footnote_57_57" class="fnanchor">[57]</a> wer
+com to gether loked well vppon hym, and knewe hym, and after releuyd
+hym; but the borde that was about hys necke caused his hed so to swell,
+that they coulde not gette it of, tyll they were mynded to cutte it of
+with hatchettys. Thus was the wenche well iaped,<a name="FNanchor_58_58" id="FNanchor_58_58"></a><a href="#Footnote_58_58" class="fnanchor">[58]</a> and for fere she
+ranne from her fader; her faders arme was hurte; the colyar lost his
+coles; the sexton was almost out of hys wyt; and the gentylman had
+almost broke his necke.</p>
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<h3><a name="Of_the_merchantes_wyfe_that_sayd_she_wolde_take_a_nap_at_sermon" id="Of_the_merchantes_wyfe_that_sayd_she_wolde_take_a_nap_at_sermon"></a>&para; <i>Of the merchantes wyfe that sayd she wolde take a nap at sermon.</i> xxv.</h3>
+
+
+
+<p>&para; A marchantys wyfe there was in Bowe parysh in London, somewhat slepte
+in age, to whom her mayde cam on a Sonday in Lente after dyner and
+sayde: maystres, quod she, they rynge at Saynte Thomas of Acres, for
+there shall be a sermon<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_48" id="Page_48">[Pg 48]</a></span> prechyd anon; to whome the mastres answered and
+sayde: mary! Goddys blessynge haue thy harte for warnynge me thereof;
+and because I slepte not well all this nyght, I pray the brynge my stole
+to me: for I wyll go thyder to loke, whether I can take a nappe there,
+whyle the preest is prechynge.</p>
+
+<p>By this ye may se, that many one goth to chyrch as moch for other
+thynges as for deuocyon.</p>
+
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<h3><a name="Of_the_woman_that_said_and_she_lyued_another_yere_she_wolde_haue_a" id="Of_the_woman_that_said_and_she_lyued_another_yere_she_wolde_haue_a"></a>&para; <i>Of the woman that said and she lyued another yere she wolde haue a cockoldes hatte of her owne.</i> xxvi.</h3>
+
+
+<p class="center">
+<i>Of the above tale but a few words remain in the fragment.</i>
+</p>
+
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<h3><a name="Of_the_gentylman_that_wysshed_his_tothe_in_the_gentylwomans_tayle" id="Of_the_gentylman_that_wysshed_his_tothe_in_the_gentylwomans_tayle"></a>&para; <i>Of the gentylman that wysshed his tothe in the gentylwomans tayle.</i> xxvii.</h3>
+
+
+
+<p>&para; A gentylman and gentylwoman satte to gyder talkyng, <i>which gentylman</i>
+had great pain in one of his tethe, and hapnyd to say <i>to the
+gentylwo</i>man thus: I wys, maystres, I haue a tothe in my hede which
+<i>greuyth me u</i>ery sore: wherfore I wold it were in your tayl. She,
+heryng him <i>say this, answe</i>ryed thus: in good fayth, syr, yf your tothe
+were in my tayle it coulde <i>do it but lytle</i> good;<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_49" id="Page_49">[Pg 49]</a></span> but yf there be any
+thynge in my tayle that can do your tothe good, I wolde it were in your
+tothe.</p>
+
+<p>By this ye may se that a womans answere is seldome to seke.<a name="FNanchor_59_59" id="FNanchor_59_59"></a><a href="#Footnote_59_59" class="fnanchor">[59]</a></p>
+
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<h3><a name="Of_the_Welcheman_that_confessyd_hym_howe_he_had_slayne_a_frere" id="Of_the_Welcheman_that_confessyd_hym_howe_he_had_slayne_a_frere"></a>&para; <i>Of the Welcheman that confessyd hym howe he had slayne a frere.</i> xxviii.</h3>
+
+
+
+<p>&para; In the tyme of Lente, a Welcheman cam to be confessyd of his curate;
+whych in his confessyon sayde that he had kylled a frere; to whome the
+curate sayd he coulde nat assoyle hym. Yes, quod the Welchman, yf thou
+knewest all, thou woldest assoyle me well ynoughe; and when the curate
+had commandyd hym to shew hym all the case, he sayd thus: mary, there
+were ii freres; and I myght haue slayn them bothe, yf I had lyst; but I
+let the one scape: therfore mayster curate set the tone agaynst the
+tother, and than the offence is not so great but ye may assoyle me well
+ynoughe.</p>
+
+<p>By this ye may se, that dyuers men haue so euyll and larg conscyence
+that they thynke, yf they do one good dede or refrayn from doynge of one
+euyll synne, that yt ys satysfaccyon for other <i>synnes</i> and ofencys.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_50" id="Page_50">[Pg 50]</a></span></p>
+
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<h3><a name="Of_the_Welcheman_that_coude_nat_gette_but_a_lytell_male_xxix" id="Of_the_Welcheman_that_coude_nat_gette_but_a_lytell_male_xxix"></a>&para; <i>Of the Welcheman that coude nat gette but a lytell male.</i> xxix.</h3>
+
+
+<p>&para; There was a company of gentylmen<a name="FNanchor_60_60" id="FNanchor_60_60"></a><a href="#Footnote_60_60" class="fnanchor">[60]</a> in Northamptonshyre which wente
+to hunte for dere in the porlews<a name="FNanchor_61_61" id="FNanchor_61_61"></a><a href="#Footnote_61_61" class="fnanchor">[61]</a> in the gollet besyde Stony
+Stratford, amonge which gentylmen there was one which had a Welchman to
+his seruante, a good archer; whiche, whan they cam to a place where they
+thought they <i>should find dere</i>, apoynted thys Welchman to stand <i>still,
+and forbade him in</i> any wyse to shote at no rascal<a name="FNanchor_62_62" id="FNanchor_62_62"></a><a href="#Footnote_62_62" class="fnanchor">[62]</a> <i>dere but to make
+sure of the greate male and</i> spare not. Well, quod this Welchman, <i>I
+will do so</i>. <i>Anon cam by many greate dere and</i> Rascall; but euer he
+lette them go, and toke no hede to them; and within an houre after he
+saw com rydynge on the hye-waye a man of the contrey, whych had a boget
+hangynge at hys sadyll bowe.<a name="FNanchor_63_63" id="FNanchor_63_63"></a><a href="#Footnote_63_63" class="fnanchor">[63]</a> And whan this Welcheman had espyed hym,
+he bad hym stande, and began to drawe his bow and bad hym delyuer that
+lytell male that hunge at his sadyll bowe. Thys man, for fere of hys
+lyfe, was glad to delyuer hym hys boget, and so dyd, and than rode hys
+waye, and was glad he was so<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_51" id="Page_51">[Pg 51]</a></span> <i>escapyd</i>. And when this man of the
+contrey was gone, thys Welcheman was <i>very glad</i> and wente incontynente
+to seke hys mayster, and at the laste founde hym wyth hys companye; and
+whan he saw hym he came to hym, and sayd thus: mayster, by cottes plut
+and her nayle! I haue stande yonder this two hourys, and I colde se
+neuer a male but a lytell male that a man had hangynge at his sadell
+bow, and thet I haue goten, and lo here it is; and toke his master the
+boget whiche he had taken away from the forsayd man, for the whiche dede
+bothe the mayster and the seruante were afterwarde in greate trouble.</p>
+
+<p>By this ye may lerne, yt is greate folye for a mayster to putte a
+seruaunte to that besynes whereof he can nothynge skyll and wherin he
+hath not ben usyd.</p>
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<h3><a name="Of_the_gentyll_woman_that_sayde_to_a_gentyll_man_ye_haue_a_berde" id="Of_the_gentyll_woman_that_sayde_to_a_gentyll_man_ye_haue_a_berde"></a>&para; <i>Of the gentyll woman that sayde to a gentyll man: ye haue a berde aboue and none benethe.</i> xxx.</h3>
+
+
+
+<p>&para; A yonge gentylman of the age of xx yere, somwhat dysposed to myrth and
+gaye, on a tyme talked wyth a gentylwoman whyche was ryght wyse and also
+mery. Thys gentylwoman, as she talked with hym, happenyd to loke vpon
+hys berde which was but yonge and somewhat growen vpon the ouer<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_52" id="Page_52">[Pg 52]</a></span> lyppe,
+and but lyttell growen benethe as all other yonge mennys berdes comynly
+vse to grow, and sayd to hym thus: syr, ye haue a berde aboue and none
+beneth; and he, herynge her say so sayde in sporte: maystres, ye haue a
+berde beneth and none aboue. Mary, quod she, than set the tone agaynst
+the tother. Which answere made the gentylman so abasshed, that he had
+not one worde to answere.</p>
+
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<h3><a name="Of_the_frere_that_sayde_our_Lorde_fed_fyue_M_people_with_iii" id="Of_the_frere_that_sayde_our_Lorde_fed_fyue_M_people_with_iii"></a>&para; <i>Of the frere that sayde our Lorde fed fyue M. people with iii. fysshys.</i> xxxi.</h3>
+
+
+
+<p>&para; There was a certayn White Frere whiche was a very glotton and a great
+nyggyn,<a name="FNanchor_64_64" id="FNanchor_64_64"></a><a href="#Footnote_64_64" class="fnanchor">[64]</a> which had an vngracyouse boy that euer folowed hym and bare
+his cloke, and what for the freres glotony and for his chorlysshnes the
+boy, where he wente, cowlde scante gette meate ynoughe: for the frere
+wolde eate almoste all hym selfe. But on a tyme the frere made a sermone
+in the contry, wherin he touched very many myracles whyche Cryste dyd
+afore hys passyon, amonge which he specyally rehersyd the myracle whyche
+Cryste did in fedynge fyue thousande people with fyue louys of brede and
+with iii lytell fysshes; and this frerys boy<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_53" id="Page_53">[Pg 53]</a></span> which caryd not gretely
+for hys mayster * *, <i>by reason that</i> hys mayster was so great a churle,
+<i>cryed out aloude</i> that all the church harde, and sayd: by <i>my faith,
+then, there were no</i> fryers there! whyche answere made all <i>the people
+laughe, so</i> that for shame the frere wente out of the * * * * * he than
+departyd out of the churche * * * *</p>
+
+<p>By thys ye may se that it is honeste * * depart with suche as he hath to
+them * *</p>
+
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<h3><a name="Of_the_frankelyn_that_wold_haue_had_the_frere_gone_xxxii" id="Of_the_frankelyn_that_wold_haue_had_the_frere_gone_xxxii"></a>&para; <i>Of the frankelyn that wold haue had the frere gone.</i> xxxii.</h3>
+
+
+<p>&para; A ryche fraynklyn dwellyn in the countie of * * * <i>had a frere in his</i>
+house, of whom he could neuer be ryd any <i>meanes, but he wold tarrye by
+the</i> space of a senyght<a name="FNanchor_65_65" id="FNanchor_65_65"></a><a href="#Footnote_65_65" class="fnanchor">[65]</a> and wold neuer depart; wherfore <i>the
+franklyn was sore grevud and sadly</i> wery of hym. On a tyme as he and hys
+wyfe and this frere <i>were togydder</i>, he faynyd hymselfe very angry wyth
+hys wyfe, in somoche that he <i>smote</i> her. Thys frere perseyuyng well
+what they ment sayd * * * I haue bene here this seuenyght whan ye were
+frendys, and <i>I will tarrye a</i> fortenyght lenger but I wyll se you
+frendys agayne, or<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_54" id="Page_54">[Pg 54]</a></span> I depart. <i>The franklyn</i>, perceyuynge that he coude
+no good nor wold not depart by none <i>other meanes</i>, answeryd hym
+shortely and sayd: by God! frere, but thou shalt abyde here no longer;
+and toke hym by the shulders, and thrust hym out of the dorys of the
+house.</p>
+
+<p>By this ye may se, that he that wyl lerne no good by examples in a maner
+to hym shewyd, is worthy to be taught wyth open rebuke.</p>
+
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<h3><a name="Of_the_prest_that_sayd_Our_Lady_was_not_so_curyous_a_woman_xxxiii" id="Of_the_prest_that_sayd_Our_Lady_was_not_so_curyous_a_woman_xxxiii"></a>&para; <i>Of the prest that sayd Our Lady was not so curyous a woman.</i> xxxiii.</h3>
+
+
+<p>&para; In the towne of Bottelley dwellyd a mylner, whiche had a good homely
+wenche to his doughter, whome the curate of the nexte towne louyd, and,
+as the fame went, had her at hys pleasure. But on a tyme thys curat
+prechyd of those curyouse wyues now a dayes, and whether it were for the
+nonys,<a name="FNanchor_66_66" id="FNanchor_66_66"></a><a href="#Footnote_66_66" class="fnanchor">[66]</a> or whether it cam oute at all aduenturys, he had penyd to say
+thus in hys sermon: ye wyues, ye be so curyous in all your warkes, that
+ye wot not what ye meane, but ye shold folow Oure Lady. For Our Lady was
+nothynge so curyous as ye be; but she was a good homely wenche lyke the
+mylners doughter of Botteley. At whych sayng<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_55" id="Page_55">[Pg 55]</a></span> all the parishons made
+gret laughyng, and specyally they that knew that he louyd that same
+wenche.</p>
+
+<p>By this ye may se, it is gret foly for a man that is suspectyd with any
+person to praise or to name the same parson openly, lest it bryng hym in
+forther sclaunder.</p>
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<h3><a name="Of_the_good_man_that_sayde_to_his_wyfe_he_had_euyll_fare_xxxiv" id="Of_the_good_man_that_sayde_to_his_wyfe_he_had_euyll_fare_xxxiv"></a>&para; <i>Of the good man that sayde to his wyfe he had euyll fare.</i> xxxiv.</h3>
+
+
+<p>&para; A frere Lymytour<a name="FNanchor_67_67" id="FNanchor_67_67"></a><a href="#Footnote_67_67" class="fnanchor">[67]</a> come into a pore mannys howse in the countrey,
+and because thys pore man thought thys frere myght do hym some good, he
+therefore thought to make hym good chere. But bycause hys wyfe wold
+dresse hym no good mete for coste, he therfore at dyner tyme sayd thus:
+by God! wyfe, bycause thou dyddest dresse me no good mete to my dyner,
+were it not for mayster frere, thou shouldest haue halfe a dosyn
+strypes. Nay, syr, quod the frere, I pray you spare not for me; wherwyth
+the wyfe was angry, and therfore at souper she caused them to fare wors.</p>
+
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<h3><a name="Of_the_frere_that_had_hys_chylde_make_a_laten_xxxv" id="Of_the_frere_that_had_hys_chylde_make_a_laten_xxxv"></a>&para; <i>Of the frere that had hys chylde make a laten</i> xxxv.</h3>
+
+
+<p class="center"><i>But very few words remain of this Tale.</i><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_56" id="Page_56">[Pg 56]</a></span></p>
+
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<h3><a name="Of_the_gentylman_that_asked_the_frere_for_his_beuer_xxxvi" id="Of_the_gentylman_that_asked_the_frere_for_his_beuer_xxxvi"></a>&para; <i>Of the gentylman that asked the frere for his beuer.</i> xxxvi.</h3>
+
+
+<p>&para; <i>In the terme</i> tyme a good old gentylman, beyng a lawyer, cam to
+Lon<i>don to the</i> terme; and as he cam he hapenyd to ouertake a frere,
+which <i>was an un</i>thrift and went alone wythout hys beuer: wherfore this
+<i>gentylman asked</i> thys frere, where was hys beuer that shold kepe hym
+compa<i>ny, and sayd it was</i> contrary to his relygyon to go alone, and it
+wolde cause people to suppose hym to be som apostata or som vnthryft. By
+God, syr, quod the <i>frere! my beuer</i> commaundeth hym unto your
+master-shyp. Why, quod the gentylman, I knowe hym not. Than (quod the
+frere to the gentylman), ye are the more fole to aske for hym.</p>
+
+<p>By thys tale ye may se, that he that geueth counsell to any vnthryft,
+and <i>tech</i>eth hym hys dutye, shall haue oftymes but a mock for his
+labour.</p>
+
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<h3><a name="Of_the_thre_men_that_chose_the_woman_xxxvii" id="Of_the_thre_men_that_chose_the_woman_xxxvii"></a>&para; <i>Of the thre men that chose the woman.</i> xxxvii.</h3>
+
+
+<p>&para; Thre gentylmen cam into an Inne, where a fayre woman was tapster:
+wherfore, as these thre satte there makynge mery, eche of them kyssed
+her, and made good pastyme and plesure. How<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_57" id="Page_57">[Pg 57]</a></span>beit one spake merley<a name="FNanchor_68_68" id="FNanchor_68_68"></a><a href="#Footnote_68_68" class="fnanchor">[68]</a>
+and sayde: I can not se how this gentylwoman is able to make pastyme and
+pleasure to vs all thre excepte that she were departed in thre partes.
+By my trouthe, quod one of them, yf that she myght be departed, than I
+wolde chuse for my parte her hed and her fayre face, that I myghte alway
+kysse her. Than quod the seconde: I wolde haue the breste and harte: for
+there lyeth her loue. Than quod the thyrd: then ther is nothyng left for
+me but the loynys, buttockes and legges; I am contente to haue it for my
+parte. And whan these gentylmen had passed the tyme there by the space
+of one hour or ii, they toke theyr leue and were goynge awaye; but, or
+the went, the thyrd man whych had chosen the bely and the buttockys did
+kys the tapyster and bad her farewell. What! quod the fyrste man that
+had chosen the face and the mouth, why dost thou so? thou dost me wronge
+to kysse my parte that I haue chosen of her. O! quod the other, I pray
+the be nat angry: for I am contente that thou shal kys my parte for it.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_58" id="Page_58">[Pg 58]</a></span></p>
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<h3><a name="Of_the_gentylman_that_taught_his_cooke_the_medycyne_for_the_tothake" id="Of_the_gentylman_that_taught_his_cooke_the_medycyne_for_the_tothake"></a>&para; <i>Of the gentylman that taught his cooke the medycyne for the tothake.</i> xxxviii.</h3>
+
+
+
+<p>&para; In Essex there dwellyd a mery gentylman, whyche had a coke callyd
+Thomas that was greatly dysseasyd with the tothake, and complaynyd to
+hys mayster thereof; whych sayd he had a boke of medecins and sayd he
+wold loke vp hys boke to se whether he could fynd any medecyn therin for
+it, and so sent<a name="FNanchor_69_69" id="FNanchor_69_69"></a><a href="#Footnote_69_69" class="fnanchor">[69]</a> one of hys doughters to hys study for hys boke, and
+incontynent lokyd uppon yt a long season; and than sayd thus to hys
+coke: Thomas, quod he, here is a medesyn for your tothake; and yt ys a
+charm; but yt wyl do you no good except ye knele on your knees, and aske
+yt for Sent Charyte. Thys man, glad to be relesyd of hys payn, kneled
+and sayd: mayster, for Seint Charyte, let me haue that medecyne. Than,
+quod thys gentylman, knele on your knees and say after me; whyche knelyd
+down and sayd after hym as he bad hym. Thys gentylman began and sayd
+thus:&mdash;</p>
+
+<p>"The son on the Sonday."</p>
+
+<p>"The son on the Sonday," quod Thomas.</p>
+
+<p>"The mone on the Monday."<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_59" id="Page_59">[Pg 59]</a></span></p>
+
+<p>"The mone on the Monday."</p>
+
+<p>"The Trynyt&eacute; on the Tewsday."</p>
+
+<p>"The Trynyt&eacute; on the Tewsday."</p>
+
+<p>"The wyt on the Wednysday."</p>
+
+<p>"The wyt on the Wednysday."</p>
+
+<p>"The holy holy Thursday."</p>
+
+<p>"The holy holy Thursday."</p>
+
+<p>"And all that fast on Fryday."</p>
+
+<p>"And all that fast on Friday."</p>
+
+<p>"&mdash;&mdash; in thy mouthe on Saterday."</p>
+
+<p>Thys coke Thomas,<a name="FNanchor_70_70" id="FNanchor_70_70"></a><a href="#Footnote_70_70" class="fnanchor">[70]</a> heryng hys mayster thus mokkyng hym, in anger
+stert vp and sayd: by Goddys body! mokkyng churle, I wyll neuer do the
+seruyce more; and went forth to hys chamber to gete hys gere to geder to
+thentent to haue gon thens by and by; but what for the anger that he
+toke wyth his mayster for the mok that he gaue hym, and what for labor
+that he toke to geder hys gere so shortly togeder, the payne of the
+tothake went from hym incontynent, that hys mayster cam to hym and made
+hym to tarry styll, and tolde hym that hys charme was the cause of the
+ease of the payne of the tothake.</p>
+
+<p>By thys tale ye may se, that anger oftymes puttyth away the bodely
+payne.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_60" id="Page_60">[Pg 60]</a></span></p>
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<h3><a name="Of_the_gentylman_that_promysed_the_scoler_of_Oxforde_a_sarcanet" id="Of_the_gentylman_that_promysed_the_scoler_of_Oxforde_a_sarcanet"></a>&para; <i>Of the gentylman that promysed the scoler of Oxforde a sarcanet typet.</i> xxxix.</h3>
+
+
+
+<p>&para; A scoler of Oxford latley made Mayster of Art cam in to the cyte of
+London, and in Poulys mette with the sayd mery gentleman of Essex, which
+was euer disposyd to play many mery pageants,<a name="FNanchor_71_71" id="FNanchor_71_71"></a><a href="#Footnote_71_71" class="fnanchor">[71]</a> wyth whom before he
+had bene of famylyer accoyntaunce and prayd hym to give hym a sercenet
+typet. This gentylman, more lyberall of promyse than of gyfte, grauntyd
+hym he should haue one, yf he wold com to hys lodgyng to the sygne<a name="FNanchor_72_72" id="FNanchor_72_72"></a><a href="#Footnote_72_72" class="fnanchor">[72]</a>
+of the Bull wythout Byshops gate in the next mornynge at vi of the
+cloke. Thys scoler thankyd hym, and for that nyght departyd to hys
+lodgyng in Flete Strete, and in the mornyng erely as he poyntyd cam to
+hym to the sygne of the Bull. And as [soon as] thys gentylman saw hym,
+he bad hym go wyth hym in to the Cyte, and he sholde be sped anon;
+whyche incontynent went togyder, tyll they<a name="FNanchor_73_73" id="FNanchor_73_73"></a><a href="#Footnote_73_73" class="fnanchor">[73]</a> cam in to seynt Laurence
+Church in the Jury, where the gentylman espyed a preste raueshyd to
+masse<a name="FNanchor_74_74" id="FNanchor_74_74"></a><a href="#Footnote_74_74" class="fnanchor">[74]</a> and [he] told<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_61" id="Page_61">[Pg 61]</a></span> the skoller that "yonder is the preste that
+hath the typet for you," and bad hym knele downe in the pew, and he
+shold speke to hym for it. And incontynent thys gentylman went to the
+preest and sayd: syr, here is a skoller, a kynnysman of myne, gretly
+dyseasyed wyth the chyncough.<a name="FNanchor_75_75" id="FNanchor_75_75"></a><a href="#Footnote_75_75" class="fnanchor">[75]</a> I pray you, whan masse is donne, gyue
+hym iii draughtys of your chales. The preest grantyd hym, and tornyd hym
+to the skoler, and sayd: syr, I shall serue you as sone as I haue sayd
+masse. The skoler than taryed styll and herd the mas, trusting that whan
+the masse was done, that the preste wold giue hym hys typet of sarcenet.
+Thys gentylman in the meane whyle departyd out of the chyrche. Thys
+preste, whan mas was done, putte wyne in the chales, and cam to the
+skoler knelyng in the pew, profferyng hym to drynk of the chales. Thys
+skoler lokyd upon hym, and musyd and sayd: why, master parson, wherfore
+profer ye me the chales? Mary, quod the prest, for the gentylman told me
+ye were dysseasyd with the chyncough, and prayd me therfor that for a
+medecyne ye might drynk of the chales. Nay, by seynt mary, quod the
+scoler, he promysyd me ye shulde delyuer me a tipet of sarcenet. Nay,
+quod the preest, he spake to me of no typet, but he desyred me to<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_62" id="Page_62">[Pg 62]</a></span> gyue
+yow drynk of the chales for the chyncough. By Goddis body, quod the
+scoler, he is, as he was euer wont to be, but a mokkyng wretch, and
+if<a name="FNanchor_76_76" id="FNanchor_76_76"></a><a href="#Footnote_76_76" class="fnanchor">[76]</a> I lyue I shall quyte hym; and so departid out of the church in
+great anger.</p>
+
+<p>By thys tale ye may percyue, it is no wysdom for a man to truste to a
+man to do a thing, that is contrary to hys old accustumyd condycyons.</p>
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<h3><a name="Of_mayster_Skelton_that_brought_the_bysshop_of_Norwiche_ii" id="Of_mayster_Skelton_that_brought_the_bysshop_of_Norwiche_ii"></a>&para; <i>Of mayster Skelton that brought the bysshop of Norwiche ii fesauntes.</i> xl.</h3>
+
+
+
+<p>&para; It fortuned ther was a great varyance bitwen the bysshop of Norwych
+and one master Shelton<a name="FNanchor_77_77" id="FNanchor_77_77"></a><a href="#Footnote_77_77" class="fnanchor">[77]</a> a poyet lauryat, in so much that the bysshop
+commaundyd hym that he shuld not come in his gatys. Thys mayster Skelton
+dyd absent hym selfe for a long seson; but at the laste he thought to do
+hys dewty to hym, and studyed weys how he myght obtayne the bysshopys
+fauour, and determynyd hem self that he wold come to hym wyth some
+present and humble hym self to the byshop; and [he] gat a cople of
+fesantes and cam to the bysshuppys place, and requyryd the porter he
+might come in to speke wyth my lord. This porter, knowyng his<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_63" id="Page_63">[Pg 63]</a></span> lordys
+pleasure, wold not suffer him to come in at the gatys: wherfor thys
+mayster Skelton went on the baksyde to seke some other way to come into
+the place. But the place was motyd, [so] that he cowlde se no way to
+come ouer except in one place, where there lay a long tree ouer the
+motte in maner of a brydge that was fallyn down wyth wynd: wherfore thys
+mayster Skelton went a long vpon the tree to come ouer; and whan he was
+almost ouer hys fote slypyd for lak of sure fotyng, and [he] fel in to
+the mote vp to the myddyll. But at the last he recoueryd hym self, and
+as wel as he coud dryed hymself ageyne, and sodenly cam to the byshop,
+beyng in hys hall than lately rysen from dyner, whyche, whan he saw
+Skelton commyng sodenly, sayd to hym: why, thow catyfe, I warnyd the
+thow shuldys neuer come in at my gatys and chargyd my porter to kepe the
+out. Forsoth, my lorde, quod Skelton, though ye gaue suche charge and
+though your gatys be neuer so suerly kept: yet yt ys no more possible to
+kepe me out of your dorys than to kepe out crowes or pyes: for I cam not
+in at your gatys, but I cam ouer the mote, [so] that I haue ben almost
+drownyd for my labour; and shewyd his clothys how euyll he was arayed,
+whych causyd many that stode therby to laughe apace. Than quod Skelton:
+yf it lyke<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_64" id="Page_64">[Pg 64]</a></span> your lordeshyp, I haue brought you a dyshe to your super, a
+cople of Fesantes. Nay, quod the byshop, I defy the and thy Fesantys
+also, and, wrech as thou art, pyke the out of my howse, for I wyll none
+of thy gyft how * * * * Skelton, than consyderynge that the bysshoppe
+called hym fole so ofte, sayd to one of hys famylyers therby that,
+thoughe it were euyll to be christened a fole, yet it was moche worse to
+be confyrmed a fole of suche a bysshoppe: for the name of confyrmacyon
+must nedes abyde. Therfore he ymagened howe he myghte auoyde that
+confyrmacyon, and mused a whyle; and at the laste sayde to the bysshope
+thus: if your lordeshype knewe the names of these fesantes ye wold <i>be</i>
+contente to take them. Why, caytese, quod the bisshoppe hastly and
+angrey, <i>what</i> be theyr names? Y wys, my lorde, quod Skelton, this
+fesante is called Alpha, which is in primys&mdash;the fyrst; and this is
+called O, that is novissimus, the last; and for the more playne
+vnderstandynge of my mynde, if it plese your lordeshype to take them, I
+promyse you this alpha is the fyrste that euer I gaue you, and this O is
+the laste that euer I wyll gyue you whyle I lyue. At which answere all
+that were by made great laughter, and they all <i>desired the Bishoppe</i> to
+be good lorde vnto him for his merye<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_65" id="Page_65">[Pg 65]</a></span> conceytes, at which <i>earnest
+entrety, as it</i> wente, the bysshope was contente to take hym vnto his
+fauer agayne.</p>
+
+<p>By thys tale ye may se, that mery conceytes dothe <i>a man more</i> good than
+to frete hymselfe with <i>anger</i> and melancholy.</p>
+
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<h3><a name="Of_the_yeman_of_garde_that_sayd_he_wolde_bete_the_carter_xli" id="Of_the_yeman_of_garde_that_sayd_he_wolde_bete_the_carter_xli"></a>&para; <i>Of the yeman of garde that sayd he wolde bete the carter.</i> xli.</h3>
+
+
+<p>&para; A yoman of the kynges garde, dwellynge in a vyllage besyde London, had
+a very fayre yonge wife. To whome a carter of the towne, <i>a mery</i>
+fellowe, resorted and laye with her dyuers tymes, whan her husbande was
+on garde; and thys was so openly knowen that all the towne spake therof.
+<i>A certaine yonge</i> man of the towne well acquoyntyd with thys yeman
+<i>told him</i> that suche a carter hadde layne by his wyfe. To whome <i>this
+yeman of the garde</i> sware by Goddes body, if he mette with hym it
+<i>should go harde but he wolde bete him well.</i> <i>Hey</i>, quod the yonge man,
+if ye go streyght euen nowe the <i>right way</i>, ye <i>shall</i> ouertake him
+dryuyng a carte laden with haye towarde London; wherfore the yeman of
+the garde incontynent rode after this carter, and within shorte space
+overtoke him and knewe him well ynoughe, and incontynent called the
+carter to him and sayd thus: Syrra, I<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_66" id="Page_66">[Pg 66]</a></span> vnderstande that thou doste lye
+euery nyght with my wyfe, whan I am from home. Thys carter beynge no
+thynge afrayde of hym answered, ye, marry, what than? What than, quod
+the yeman of garde! By Goddys harte! hadst thou nat tolde me truth, I
+wolde haue broke thy hede. And so the yeman of garde retourned, and no
+hurte done, no stroke stryken nor proferyed.</p>
+
+<p>By this ye may se, that the greatyst crakers somtyme, whan it commeth to
+the profe, be moste cowardes.</p>
+
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<h3><a name="Of_the_fole_that_saide_he_had_leuer_go_to_hell_than_to_heuen_xlii" id="Of_the_fole_that_saide_he_had_leuer_go_to_hell_than_to_heuen_xlii"></a>&para; <i>Of the fole that saide he had leuer go to hell than to heuen.</i> xlii.</h3>
+
+
+<p>&para; A fole there was, that dwelled with a gentylman in the countrey,
+whiche was called a great tyraunte and an extorcyoner. But this fole
+loued his mayster meruaylously, because he cherysshed hym so well. It
+happened * *</p>
+
+<p class="center">
+<i>3 lines wanting.</i>
+</p>
+
+<p>to heuen; for I had leuer go to hell. Than the other asked hym why he
+had leuer go to hell. By my trouthe, quod the fole: for I wyll go with
+my master; and I am sure my master shall go to hell. For euery man seyth
+he shall go to the deuyll in hell; and therfore I wyll go thyder with
+hym.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_67" id="Page_67">[Pg 67]</a></span></p>
+
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<h3><a name="Of_the_plowmannys_sonne_that_sayde_he_sawe_one_make_a_gose_to_creke" id="Of_the_plowmannys_sonne_that_sayde_he_sawe_one_make_a_gose_to_creke"></a>&para; <i>Of the plowmannys sonne that sayde he sawe one make a gose to creke sweetly.</i> xliii.</h3>
+
+
+
+<p>&para; There was a certayn plowmans son of the contrey of the age of xvi
+yeres, that neuer coming moche amonge company but alway went to plough
+and husbandry. On a tyme this yonge lad went to a weddyng with his
+fader, where he se one lute<a name="FNanchor_78_78" id="FNanchor_78_78"></a><a href="#Footnote_78_78" class="fnanchor">[78]</a> vpon a lute; and whan he came home at
+nyght his moder asked hym, what sporte he had at weddynge. This lad
+answeryd and sayd: by my trouth, moder, quod he, there was one that
+brought a gose in his armes and tykled her so vpon the neck, that she
+crekyd the sweetlyest that I hard gose creke in my lyfe.</p>
+
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<h3><a name="Of_the_maydes_answere_that_was_with_chylde_xliv" id="Of_the_maydes_answere_that_was_with_chylde_xliv"></a>&para; <i>Of the maydes answere that was with chylde.</i> xliv.</h3>
+
+
+<p>&para; At a merchauntes house in London there was a mayde whiche was great
+with chylde, to whom the maystres of the house cam, and comaunded<a name="FNanchor_79_79" id="FNanchor_79_79"></a><a href="#Footnote_79_79" class="fnanchor">[79]</a>
+her to tell her who was the fader of the chylde. To whom the mayde
+answered: forsooth, nobody.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_68" id="Page_68">[Pg 68]</a></span> Why, quod the maystres, it is not possyble
+but som man is the fader thereof? To whom the mayd answered: why,
+maystres, why may I not haue a chyld without a man as well as hennys lay
+eggys withhout a cocke?</p>
+
+<p>By this ye may se it is harde to fynde a woman wythout an excuse.</p>
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<h3><a name="Of_the_seruaunt_that_rymyd_with_hys_mayster_xlv" id="Of_the_seruaunt_that_rymyd_with_hys_mayster_xlv"></a>&para; <i>Of the seruaunt that rymyd with hys mayster.</i> xlv.</h3>
+
+
+<p>&para; A gentleman there was dwellynge nygh Kyngston upon Tamys, and rydynge
+in the contrey with his seruaunt which was <i>not the</i> quyckest felowe,
+but rode alway sadly<a name="FNanchor_80_80" id="FNanchor_80_80"></a><a href="#Footnote_80_80" class="fnanchor">[80]</a> by <i>his maysters side and uttered</i> uery fewe
+wordys. Hys mayster sayd to him: <i>wherefore rydyst</i> thou so saddly? I
+wolde have the tell me some tale to beguyle the tyme with. By my
+trouthe, mayster, quod he, I can tell no tale. Then sayd his mayster:
+canst thou not synge? No by my trouthe, quod he, I coulde neuer synge in
+all my lyfe. Quod the mayster: canst thou ryme? No, by my trouthe, quod
+he, I can not; but yf ye wyll begyn to ryme, I wyll folow as well as I
+can. By my trouth, quod the mayster, that is well; therfore I wyll begyn
+to make a ryme. Let me se<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_69" id="Page_69">[Pg 69]</a></span> how well thou canst folowe thy mayster
+meanwhyle; and then [he] began to ryme thus:&mdash;</p>
+
+<p>
+<span style="margin-left: 1em;">"Many mennys swannys swymme in Temmys,</span><br />
+<span style="margin-left: 4em;">And so do myne."</span><br />
+</p>
+
+<p>Then quod the seruant:&mdash;</p>
+
+<p>
+<span style="margin-left: 1em;">"And many a man lyeth by other mennys wyues,</span><br />
+<span style="margin-left: 4em;">And so do I by thyne."<a name="FNanchor_81_81" id="FNanchor_81_81"></a><a href="#Footnote_81_81" class="fnanchor">[81]</a></span><br />
+</p>
+
+<p>What dost thou, horeson, quod the mayster? By my trouthe, mayster, no
+thynge, quod he, but make vp the ryme. But quod the mayster: I charge
+the tell me why thou sayest so? Forsothe Mayster, quod he, for nothynge
+in the worlde but to make vp your ryme. Than quod the mayster: yf thou
+doist for nothynge ellys, I am content. So the mayster forgaue hym hys
+saynge, all thoughe he sayd trouthe peraduenture.</p>
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<h3><a name="Of_the_Welcheman_that_delyuered_the_letter_to_the_ape_xlvi" id="Of_the_Welcheman_that_delyuered_the_letter_to_the_ape_xlvi"></a>&para; <i>Of the Welcheman that delyuered the letter to the ape.</i> xlvi.</h3>
+
+
+<p class="center">
+<i>5 first lines wanting.</i>
+</p>
+
+<p>fauoure to his seruant and commaunded his seruant shortely to br<i>ynge
+hym an</i> answere. This<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_70" id="Page_70">[Pg 70]</a></span> Welcheman came to the chefe Iustyce' place, and
+at <i>the gate saw</i> an ape syttynge there in a cote made for hym, as they
+use to <i>apparell apes</i> for disporte. This Welchman dyd of hys cappe, and
+made curtsye <i>to the ape and</i> sayd: my mayster recommendeth hym to my
+lorde youre father, and sendeth hym here a letter. This ape toke this
+letter and opened it, and <i>lokyd theron</i>, and after lokyd vpon the man,
+makynge many mockes and moyes, <i>as the proper</i>tyes of apes is to do.
+This Welcheman, because he vnde<i>rstood hym</i> nat, came agayne to his
+mayster accordynge to his commaundes, <i>and tolde hym he</i> delyuered the
+letter vnto my lorde chefe Iustyce' sonne, <i>who was at the gate</i> in a
+furred cote. Anone his mayster asked hym what <i>answere he broughte. The
+man</i> sayd he gaue hym an answere; but it was other Frenche <i>or Laten:
+for he understode</i> him nat. But, syr, quod he, ye nede nat to fere: for
+I saw <i>in his counte</i>naunce so moche, that I warrante you he wyll do
+your errande to my lorde his father. This gentylman in truste therof
+made not a<i>nye further suite</i>, for lacke wherof his seruaunte, that had
+done the felonye, within a monthe after was rayned at the kynges benche
+and caste, and afterwarde hanged.</p>
+
+<p>By this ye may se that euery wyse man ought<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_71" id="Page_71">[Pg 71]</a></span> to take hede, that <i>he
+sende nat a fo</i>lysshe seruaunte vpon a hasty message that is a matter of
+<i>nede</i>.</p>
+
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<h3><a name="Of_hym_that_solde_ryght_nought_xlvii" id="Of_hym_that_solde_ryght_nought_xlvii"></a>&para; <i>Of hym that solde ryght nought.</i> xlvii.</h3>
+
+
+<p>&para; A <i>certaine</i> felowe there was whiche profered a dagger to sell to a
+fellowe, <i>the</i> which answered hym and sayd, that he had ryght nought <i>to
+giue</i> therfore; wherefore the other sayde that he shulde haue hys dagger
+<i>upon</i> <i>c</i>ondycyon that he shulde gyue and delyuer vnto hym therefore
+<i>within iii</i> dayes after ryghte nought, or els forty shyllynges in
+money: wher<i>on the</i> other was contente. Thys bergayne thus agreed, he
+that shulde del<i>yuer</i> his ryght noughte toke no thoughte, vntyll suche
+tyme that the day apoynted drewe nye. At the whiche tyme he began to
+ymagen, howe he myght <i>delyuer</i> this man ryght nought. And fyrst of all
+he thought on a feder, a straw, a pynnes poynte, and suche other; but
+nothynge could he deuyse but that it was somwhat; wherfore he came home
+all sadde and pencyfe for sorowe of losynge of his xl. shyllynges, and
+coulde nother slepe nor take reste, wherof hys wyfe, beynge agreued,
+demaunded the cause of his heuynes; which at the last after many denayes
+tolde her all. Well, syr, quod she, lette me here with alone and<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_72" id="Page_72">[Pg 72]</a></span> gette
+ye forthe a-towne; and I shall handell this matter well
+ynoughe. This man folowynge his wyfes counsell wente forthe of the</p>
+
+<p class="center">
+<i>5 lines wanting.</i>
+</p>
+
+<p>Therfore, syr, quod she, put your hande in yonder potte, and take your
+money. This man beynge glad thrust his hande in it, supposyng to haue
+taken xl shyllynges of money, and thrust his hande thoroughe it vp to
+the elbowe. Quod the wyfe than: syr, what haue ye there? Mary, quod he,
+ryghte nought. Syr, quod she, than haue ye youre bergayne, and than my
+husbande hathe contented you for his dagger accordynge to his promyse.</p>
+
+<p>By this ye may se, that oftentymes a womans wytte at an extremyte <i>is
+moche</i> better than a mans.</p>
+
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<h3><a name="Of_the_frere_that_tolde_the_thre_chyldres_fortunes_xlviii" id="Of_the_frere_that_tolde_the_thre_chyldres_fortunes_xlviii"></a>&para; <i>Of the frere that tolde the thre chyldres fortunes.</i> xlviii.</h3>
+
+
+<p>&para; There was <i>a frere</i> lymyttour whyche wente a lymyttynge to a
+cer<i>tayne</i> towne, wherin dwellyd a certayne ryche man of whome he ne<i>uer
+coulde</i> gette the value of an hal[f]peny: yet he thought he wolde go
+thyder and assaye hem.<a name="FNanchor_82_82" id="FNanchor_82_82"></a><a href="#Footnote_82_82" class="fnanchor">[82]</a> And as he<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_73" id="Page_73">[Pg 73]</a></span> wente thyderwarde, the wyfe
+stand<i>yng at the</i> dore, perceyuynge hym commynge a farre of, thoughte
+that he <i>was commynge</i> thyther, and by and by ranne in and badde her
+chyldren standyng <i>thereby</i>, that if the frere asked for her, say she
+was nat within. The frere <i>sawe her</i> runne in and suspected the cause,
+and came to the dore and asked for the wyfe. The chyldren, as they were
+bydden, sayde that she was nat within. Than stode he styll lokynge on
+the chyldren; and at the laste he called to hym the eldeste and badde
+hym let hym se his hande; and whan he <i>saw his</i> hande: O Jesu! quod he,
+what fortune for the is ordayned! <i>Then he asked the</i> seconde sonne to
+se his hande and, his hande sene, the frere sayd: <i>O Jesu! what</i>
+destenye for the is prepared. Than loked he in the thyrde sonnes <i>hand</i>.
+<i>O God!</i> quod he, thy desteny is hardest of all; and therwith wente he
+his way. The <i>wyfe</i>, heryng these thinges, sodenly ranne out and called
+the frere againe, <i>and pray</i>de hym to come in, and after to sytte downe,
+and sette before hym <i>all the vita</i>ile that she had. And whan he had
+well eaten and dronken, she be<i>sought</i> hym to tell her the destenyes of
+her chyldren; which at the last after many <i>difficulties</i> tolde her that
+the fyrste shulde be a beggar, the seconde a thefe, the thyrde a
+homicyde; whiche<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_74" id="Page_74">[Pg 74]</a></span> she hearynge fell downe in a soone<a name="FNanchor_83_83" id="FNanchor_83_83"></a><a href="#Footnote_83_83" class="fnanchor">[83]</a> and toke it
+greuouslye. The frere comforted her and said that, thoughe these were
+theyr fortunes, there myght be remedy had. Than she besought of him<a name="FNanchor_84_84" id="FNanchor_84_84"></a><a href="#Footnote_84_84" class="fnanchor">[84]</a>
+his counsell. Than said the frere: you must make the eldest that shalbe
+a beggar a frere, and the seconde that shalbe a thefe a man of lawe, and
+the thyrde that shalbe an homicyde a phisicyon.</p>
+
+<p>By this tale ye may lerne, that they that will come to the speche or
+presence of any persone for theyr owne cause, they muste fyrste endeuer
+them selfe to shewe suche matters as those persones most delyte in.</p>
+
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<h3><a name="Of_the_boy_that_bare_the_frere_his_masters_money_xlix" id="Of_the_boy_that_bare_the_frere_his_masters_money_xlix"></a>&para; <i>Of the boy that bare the frere his masters money.</i> xlix.</h3>
+
+
+<p class="center">
+<i>4 lines wanting.</i>
+</p>
+
+<p>Ye, quod the frere. Than wente the man to the boye and sayd: syr, thy
+mayster byddeth the gyue me xl pens. I wyll nat, quod the boye. Than
+called the man with an hye voyce to the frere and sayd: syr, he sayeth
+he wyll not. Than quod the frere: bete him; and whan the boye<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_75" id="Page_75">[Pg 75]</a></span> harde his
+mayster say so, he gaue the man xl pens.</p>
+
+<p>By this ye may se, it is foly for a man to say ye or nay to a matter,
+excepte he knewe surely what the matter is.</p>
+
+
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<h3><a name="Of_Phylyp_Spencer_the_bochers_man_l" id="Of_Phylyp_Spencer_the_bochers_man_l"></a>&para; <i>Of Phylyp Spencer the bochers man.</i> l.</h3>
+
+
+<p>&para; A certayne bocher dwellynge in Saynt Nicolas<a name="FNanchor_85_85" id="FNanchor_85_85"></a><a href="#Footnote_85_85" class="fnanchor">[85]</a> Flesshambles in
+London, called Poule, had a seruaunte called Peter. Thys Peter on a
+Sonday was at the churche herynge masse; and one of his felowes, whose
+name was Phylyppe Spencer, was sente to call him at the commaundement of
+his maister. So it happened at the tyme that the curat <i>preched</i>, and in
+his sermonde touched many auctoryties of the holy scriptures, amonge
+all, the wordes of the pystles of saynt Poule ad<a name="FNanchor_86_86" id="FNanchor_86_86"></a><a href="#Footnote_86_86" class="fnanchor">[86]</a> phylypenses: howe
+[we] be nat onely bounde to beleue in Chryste but also to suffre for
+Chrystes sake; and [he] sayd these wordes in the pulpet: what sayeth
+Poule ad Phylyppenses to<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_76" id="Page_76">[Pg 76]</a></span> this? Thys yonge man, that was called Philyppe
+Spenser, hadde went he had spoken of him [and] answered shortely and
+sayd: mary, syr, he bad Peter come home and take his parte of a podynge,
+for he shulde go for a Calfe anone. The curate herynge this, was
+abasshed, and all the audyence made great laughter.</p>
+
+<p>By thys ye may se, that it is no token of a wyse man to gyue a soden
+answere to a questyon, before he knowe surely what the matter is.</p>
+
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<h3><a name="Of_the_courtear_and_the_carter_li" id="Of_the_courtear_and_the_carter_li"></a>&para; <i>Of the courtear and the carter.</i> li.</h3>
+
+
+<p>&para; There came a courtyer by a carter, the whiche in derysyon preysed the
+carters backe, legges, and other membres of his body meruaylously, whose
+gestynge the carter perceyued and sayde, he had another properte than
+the courtyer espyed in hym; and whan the courtyer had demanded what it
+shulde be, he lokyd asyde ouer hys shulder vpon the courtyer and sayde
+thus: lo! syr, this is my propertie. I haue a walle eye in my hede: for
+I neuer loke ouer my shulder thys wyse but lyghtlye<a name="FNanchor_87_87" id="FNanchor_87_87"></a><a href="#Footnote_87_87" class="fnanchor">[87]</a> I spye<a name="FNanchor_88_88" id="FNanchor_88_88"></a><a href="#Footnote_88_88" class="fnanchor">[88]</a> a
+knaue.</p>
+
+<p>By this tale a man may se, that he that useth to deryde and mocke other
+folkes, is somtyme him selfe more deryded and mocked.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_77" id="Page_77">[Pg 77]</a></span></p>
+
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<h3><a name="Of_the_yongman_that_prayd_his_felow_to_teche_hym_hys_paternoster" id="Of_the_yongman_that_prayd_his_felow_to_teche_hym_hys_paternoster"></a>&para; <i>Of the yongman that prayd his felow to teche hym hys paternoster.</i> lii.</h3>
+
+
+
+<p>&para; A yonge man of the age of xx yere, rude and unlerned, in the tyme of
+Lente came to his curate to be confessed; whiche, whan he was of his
+lyfe serched and examyned could not saye his Pater noster: wherfore his
+confessoure exorted him to lerne his Pater noster and shewed him what an
+holy and goodly prayer it was and the effecte therof and the vii
+peticyons therin contayned. <i>The i. sanctificetur &amp;c. halowed be thy
+name. The ii. adueniat regnum &amp;c. thy kingdome come. The iii. Fiat
+voluntas &amp;c. thy will be done in earth as it is in heuen. The iv. Panem
+nostrum &amp;c. geue<a name="FNanchor_89_89" id="FNanchor_89_89"></a><a href="#Footnote_89_89" class="fnanchor">[89]</a> us</i> our dayly sustenaunce alway and helpe vs as we
+helpe<a name="FNanchor_90_90" id="FNanchor_90_90"></a><a href="#Footnote_90_90" class="fnanchor">[90]</a> them that haue nede of us. The v. Dimitte &amp;c. Forgyue vs our
+synnes done to the as we forgyue them that trespas agaynste vs. The vi.
+Et ne nos. Let vs nat be ouercome with euyll temptacyon. The vii. Sed
+libera &amp;c. But delyuer us from all euyll. amen. And than his confessour,
+after this exposicyon to hym made, injoyned hym in penaunce to faste
+euery Fryday on brede and water, tyll he had his Pater noster well and
+sufficiently<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_78" id="Page_78">[Pg 78]</a></span> lerned. This yonge man, mekely acceptyng his penaunce, so
+departed and came home to one of his companyons, and sayde to his
+felowe: so it is that my gostely father hathe gyuen me in penaunce to
+faste euery Fryday [on] brede and water, tyll I can say my Pater noster.
+Therfore I pray thee teche me my Pater noster, and by my truthe I shall
+therfore teche the a songe of Robyn Hode that shall be worth xx of it.</p>
+
+<p>By thys tale ye may lerne to knowe the effecte of the holy prayer of the
+Pater noster.</p>
+
+
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<h3><a name="Of_the_frere_that_prechyd_in_ryme_expownynge_the_ave_maria_liii" id="Of_the_frere_that_prechyd_in_ryme_expownynge_the_ave_maria_liii"></a>&para; <i>Of the frere that prechyd in ryme expownynge the ave maria.</i> liii.</h3>
+
+
+<p>&para; A certayne frere there was whiche, vpon Our Lady day the Annuncyacion,
+made a sermon in the Whyte Freres in London, and began his antetexte
+thys wyse. Aue Maria gracia plena dominus tecum &amp;c. These wordes, quod
+the frere, were spoken by the aungell Gabryell to Oure Ladye, whan she
+conceyued Christe; which is as moche to saye in our mother tonge as: all
+hayle, Mary, well thou be; the sonne of God is with the. And furthermore
+the aungell sayde: thou shall conceyue and bere a sonne, and thou shalt
+call his name Jesum; and Elyzabeth thy swete cosyn, she shall<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_79" id="Page_79">[Pg 79]</a></span> conceyue
+the swete Saynt John. And so [he] proceded styll in his sermon in suche
+fonde ryme, that dyuers and many gentylmen of the court that were there
+began to smyle and laughe. The frere that perceyuyng said thus:
+Maysters, I pray you, harke; I shall tell you a narracyon. There was
+ones a yonge preest, that was nat all the best clerke, sayd masse and
+redde a colect thus: Deus qui vigenti filii tui &amp;c. wherfore he shulde
+haue said vnigeniti filii tui &amp;c.; and after, whan masse was done, there
+was suche a gentylman, as one of you are, nowe that had herde this
+masse, came to the preest and sayde thus: syr, I pray you tell me how
+many sonnes had God Almyghty? Quod the preest: why aske you that? Mary,
+syr, quod the gentylman, I suppose he had xx sonnes: for ye sayd right
+nowe: Deus qui viginti filii tui.<a name="FNanchor_91_91" id="FNanchor_91_91"></a><a href="#Footnote_91_91" class="fnanchor">[91]</a> The preest, perceyuynge how that
+he deryded hym, answered hym shortely and said thus: howe many sonnes so
+euer God Almyghty had, I am sure that thou arte none of them: for thou
+scornyst the worde of God. And so sayde the frere in the pulpet: no more
+are ye none of the chyldren of God: for ye scorne and laughe at me nowe,
+that preche to you the worde of God whiche</p>
+
+<p class="center">
+<i>3 lines wanting.</i>
+<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_80" id="Page_80">[Pg 80]</a></span></p>
+
+<p><i>By this ye may</i><a name="FNanchor_92_92" id="FNanchor_92_92"></a><a href="#Footnote_92_92" class="fnanchor">[92]</a> perceyue wel that the best, the wysyst and the most
+holyest matter that is, by fond pronuncyacion and otterauns, may be
+marryd nor shall not<a name="FNanchor_93_93" id="FNanchor_93_93"></a><a href="#Footnote_93_93" class="fnanchor">[93]</a> edyfye to the audyence. Therfore euery proces
+shold<a name="FNanchor_94_94" id="FNanchor_94_94"></a><a href="#Footnote_94_94" class="fnanchor">[94]</a> be vtteryd wyth wordys and countenaunce conuenyent to the
+matter.</p>
+
+<p>Also yet by thys tale they that be vnlearnyd in the laten tonge may know
+the sestence<a name="FNanchor_95_95" id="FNanchor_95_95"></a><a href="#Footnote_95_95" class="fnanchor">[95]</a> of the Aue Maria.</p>
+
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<h3><a name="Of_the_curat_that_prechyd_the_artycles_of_the_Crede_liv" id="Of_the_curat_that_prechyd_the_artycles_of_the_Crede_liv"></a>&para; <i>Of the curat that prechyd the artycles of the Crede.</i> liv.</h3>
+
+
+<p>&para; In a wyllage in Warwykshyre there was a parysh prest, al though he wer
+no great clarke nor graduat of the vnyuersyte, yet he prechid to hys
+paryshons vppon a Sonday, declaryng to them xii artycles of the Crede;
+shewyng them that the furst artycle was to beleue in God the fader
+almyghty maker of heuen and erth; the second, to beleue in Jesu Cryste
+hys onely son our Lorde coequal wyth the fader in all thynges perteynyng
+to the deyte; the thyrd, that he was conceyuyd of the holy goost, borne
+of the<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_81" id="Page_81">[Pg 81]</a></span> vyrgyn Mary; the fourthe, that he suffred deth under Pons pylate
+and that he was crucyfyed, dede and beryed; the fyft, that he descended
+to hell, and fet<a name="FNanchor_96_96" id="FNanchor_96_96"></a><a href="#Footnote_96_96" class="fnanchor">[96]</a> out the good sowlys that were in feyth and hope,
+and than the thyrd day rose from deth to lyfe; the syxt, [that] he
+assendyd into heuen to the ryght syde of God the fader, where he
+syttyth; the seuynth, that he shall come at the day of dome to judge
+both us that be quyk and them that be dede; the eyght, to beleue in the
+Holy Ghost equall God wyth the fader and the sone; the nynth, [to
+beleue] in the holy churche Catholyk and in the holy communyon of
+sayntes; the tenth, [to beleue] in the remyssion of synnys; the levynth,
+[to beleue] in the resurreccyon generall of the body and soule; the
+twelfth [to beleue] in eurlastynge lyfe that God shall rewarde them that
+be good. And [he] sayd to his paryshons further, that these artycles ye
+be bounde to beleue: for they be trewe of auctoryte. And yf you beleue
+not me, than for a more surete and suffycyent auctoryte go your way to
+Couentre, and there ye shall se them all playe in Corpus Cristi playe.</p>
+
+<p>By redynge of this tale, they that understand no Laten may lerne to
+knovve the xii articles of the fayth.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_82" id="Page_82">[Pg 82]</a></span></p>
+
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<h3><a name="Of_the_frere_that_prechyd_the_x_commaundementis_lv" id="Of_the_frere_that_prechyd_the_x_commaundementis_lv"></a>&para; <i>Of the frere that prechyd the x commaundementis.</i> lv.</h3>
+
+
+<p>&para; A lymytour of the Gray Freres in London prechyd<a name="FNanchor_97_97" id="FNanchor_97_97"></a><a href="#Footnote_97_97" class="fnanchor">[97]</a> in a certaine
+vyllage in the contrey in the tyme of his lymytacyon, and had prechyd a
+sermon which he had lernyd by hart, that of the declaring of the x.
+commaundementis. The fyrst, to beleue in one God and to honoure him
+aboue all thynges. The seconde, to swere not in vayn by hym nor none of
+his creatures. The thyrde, to absteyne from wordely operacyon on the
+holy day, thou and all thy seruauntys of whome thou hast cherg. The
+fourthe, to honour thy parentys and to help them in theyr necessyte. The
+fyft, to sle no man in dede nor wyll, nor for no hatred hurte his bodye
+nor good name. The syxte, to do no fornycacyon actuall nor by no
+vnlefull<a name="FNanchor_98_98" id="FNanchor_98_98"></a><a href="#Footnote_98_98" class="fnanchor">[98]</a> thought to desyre no fleshly delectacyon. The seuenthe
+(eighth), to stele nor depryue no mannes goodes by thefte. <i>The ninth,
+not to bear false witness against thy neighbour. The tenth, not</i><a name="FNanchor_99_99" id="FNanchor_99_99"></a><a href="#Footnote_99_99" class="fnanchor">[99]</a> to
+couete nor desyre no mannes goodes vnlefullye. Thou shalt not desyre
+thy<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_83" id="Page_83">[Pg 83]</a></span> neyghbours wyfe for thyne owne apetyte vnlaufully. And because this
+frere had preched this sermonde so often, one that had herde it before
+tolde the freres seruaunte, that his maister was called frere John x.
+Commaundementes; wherfore this seruaunte shewed the frere his mayster
+therof, and aduysed him to preche some sermonde of some other matter:
+for it greued him to here his maister so deryded and to be called frere
+John x. Commaundementes. For euery man knoweth [quod he] what ye wyll
+say, as sone as euer ye begyn, because ye haue prechyd it so ofte. Why
+than, quod the frere, I am sure thou knowest well whiche be the x
+commaundementes that hast herde them so ofte declared. Ye, syr, quod the
+seruaunte, that I do. Than, quod the frere, I pray the reherse them vnto
+me nowe. Mary, quod the seruaunte, they be these. Pride, couetise,<a name="FNanchor_100_100" id="FNanchor_100_100"></a><a href="#Footnote_100_100" class="fnanchor">[100]</a>
+slouthe, enuy, wrathe, glotony and lechery.</p>
+
+<p>By redyng thys tale ye may lerne to knowe the x commaundementes and the
+vii dedely synnes.<a name="FNanchor_101_101" id="FNanchor_101_101"></a><a href="#Footnote_101_101" class="fnanchor">[101]</a><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_84" id="Page_84">[Pg 84]</a></span></p>
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<h3><a name="Of_the_wyfe_that_bad_her_husbande_ete_the_candell_fyrste_lvi" id="Of_the_wyfe_that_bad_her_husbande_ete_the_candell_fyrste_lvi"></a>&para; <i>Of the wyfe that bad her husbande ete the candell fyrste.</i> lvi.</h3>
+
+
+<p>&para; The husbande sayde to his wyfe thus wyse: by this candell, I dremed
+thys nyght that I was cockecolde. To whom she answered and sayd:
+husbande, by this brede, ye are none. Than sayd he: wyfe, eate the
+brede. She answered and sayd to her husbande: than eate you the candell:
+for you sware fyrste.</p>
+
+<p>By this a man may se, that a womans answer is <i>neuer to seke</i>.</p>
+
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<h3><a name="Of_the_man_of_lawes_sonnes_answer_lvii" id="Of_the_man_of_lawes_sonnes_answer_lvii"></a>&para; <i>Of the man of lawes sonnes answer.</i> lvii.</h3>
+
+
+<p>&para; A woman demaunded a questyon of a little chylde, sonne unto a man of
+lawe, of what crafte his father was; whiche chylde sayde, his father was
+a craftye man of lawe.</p>
+
+<p>By this tale a man may perceyue, that somtyme peraduenture yonge
+Innocentes speke truely vnaduysed.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_85" id="Page_85">[Pg 85]</a></span></p>
+
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<h3><a name="Of_the_frere_in_the_pulpet_that_bad_the_woman_leue_her_babelynge" id="Of_the_frere_in_the_pulpet_that_bad_the_woman_leue_her_babelynge"></a>&para; <i>Of the frere in the pulpet that bad the woman leue her babelynge.</i> lviii.</h3>
+
+
+
+<p>&para; In a certayne parrysshe churche in London, after the olde laudable and
+accustomed maner, there was a frere Mynor, all thoughe he were nat the
+best clerke nor coulde nat make the best sermondes, yet by the lycence
+of the curate he there prechyd to the Parysshons. Among the whyche
+audyence there was a wyfe at that tyme lytell disposed to contemplacyon,
+[who] talked wyth a gossype of hers of other femenyne tales so loude
+that the frere harde and somwhat was perturbed therwith. To whome
+therfore openly the frere spake and sayd: thou woman there in the tawny
+gowne, holde thy peace and leaue thy babelynge; thou troublest the worde
+of God. This woman therwith sodenly abasshed, because the frere spake to
+her so openly, that all the people her behelde, answered shortly and
+said: I beshrowe his harte that babeleth more of us two. At the which
+seyng the people dyd laughe, because they felte but lytell frute in hys
+sermonde.</p>
+
+<p>By this tale a man may lerne to beware howe he openly rebuketh any
+other, and in what audyence, lest it come to his owne reprofe.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_86" id="Page_86">[Pg 86]</a></span></p>
+
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<h3><a name="Of_the_Welchman_that_cast_the_Scotte_into_the_see_lix" id="Of_the_Welchman_that_cast_the_Scotte_into_the_see_lix"></a>&para; <i>Of the Welchman that cast the Scotte into the see.</i> lix.</h3>
+
+
+<p class="center">
+<i>5 first lines wanting.</i></p>
+
+<p>
+<span style="margin-left: 1em;">they toke many great interpryses and many shyppes</span><br />
+<span style="margin-left: 1em;">and many prisoners of other realmes that were</span><br />
+<span style="margin-left: 1em;">theyr enemyes.&nbsp; Amonge the whiche they happened</span><br />
+<span style="margin-left: 1em;">on a season to take a Scottes shype; and</span><br />
+<span style="margin-left: 1em;">dyuers Scottes they slewe and toke prisoners,</span><br />
+<span style="margin-left: 1em;">amonge whome there was a Welcheman that had</span><br />
+<span style="margin-left: 1em;">one of the Scottes prysoners, and bad him that he</span><br />
+<span style="margin-left: 1em;">shulde do of his harneys, whiche to do the Scotte</span><br />
+<span style="margin-left: 1em;">was very lothe; howe be it for feare at the laste he</span><br />
+<span style="margin-left: 1em;">pulled it of with an euyll wyll, and sayd to the</span><br />
+<span style="margin-left: 1em;">Welcheman: and if thou wylte nedes haue my</span><br />
+<span style="margin-left: 1em;">harneys, take it there, and cast it ouer the borde</span><br />
+<span style="margin-left: 1em;">into the see. The Welcheman, seynge that, sayd:</span><br />
+<span style="margin-left: 1em;">by Cottes blud and her nayle,<a name="FNanchor_102_102" id="FNanchor_102_102"></a><a href="#Footnote_102_102" class="fnanchor">[102]</a> I shall make her</span><br />
+<span style="margin-left: 1em;">fette<a name="FNanchor_103_103" id="FNanchor_103_103"></a><a href="#Footnote_103_103" class="fnanchor">[103]</a> it agayne; and toke him by the legges, and</span><br />
+<span style="margin-left: 1em;">caste hym after ouer the borde into the see.</span><br />
+<br />
+<span style="margin-left: 1em;">By this tale a man may lerne, that he that is</span><br />
+<span style="margin-left: 1em;">subiecte to another, ought to forsake his owne</span><br />
+<span style="margin-left: 1em;">wyll and folowe his wyll and comaundement that</span><br />
+<span style="margin-left: 1em;">so hathe subieccyon ouer him, leste it turne to his</span><br />
+<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_87" id="Page_87">[Pg 87]</a></span><span style="margin-left: 1em;">great hurte and damage.</span><br />
+</p>
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<h3>&para; <i>Of the man that had the dome wyfe.</i> lx.</h3>
+
+
+<p>&para; There was a man that maryed a woman whiche
+had great ryches and beautie; howe be it she had
+suche an impedyment of nature, that she was
+domme and coulde nat speke. Whiche thinge
+made him to be ryght pensyfe and sadde; wherfore,
+vpon a day as he walked alone ryght heuy in
+harte, thynkynge vpon his wyfe, there came one to
+him and asked hym, what was the cause of his
+heuynesse; whiche answered that it was onely
+because his wife was borne domme. To whome
+this other sayde: I shall shewe the sone a remedye
+and a medecyne therfore, that is thus: go take an
+aspen lefe and laye it vnder her tonge this nyght,
+she beynge a slepe; and I warante the that she
+shall speke on the morowe. Whiche man, beynge
+glad of this medycyne, prepared therfore and
+gathered aspyn leaues; wherfore he layde thre of
+them vnder her tonge, when she was a slepe. And
+on the morowe whan he hymselfe awaked, he, desyrous
+to knowe howe his medecyne wrought,
+beynge in bedde with her, he demaunded of her
+howe she dyd; and sodenly she answered and
+sayd: I beshrowe your harte for wakenynge me so
+<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_88" id="Page_88">[Pg 88]</a></span>erly; and so by the virtue of that medycyne she
+was restored to her speche. But in conclusyon
+her speche so encreased day by day, and she was
+so curste of condycyon, that euery daye she brauled
+and chydde with her husbande so moche, that at
+the laste he was more vexed, and hadde moche
+more trouble and disease with her shrewde wordes,
+than he hadde before whan she was dome. Wherfore,
+as he walked another tyme abrode, he happened
+to meate agayne with the same persone that
+taughte <i>hym howe to make his wyfe speke</i><a name="FNanchor_104_104" id="FNanchor_104_104"></a><a href="#Footnote_104_104" class="fnanchor">[104]</a></p>
+
+<p class="center">
+<i>2 or 3 lines wanting.</i>
+</p>
+
+<p>and more wery of her nowe than I was before, whan she was domme;
+wherfore I praye you teche me a medycyne to modefye her, that she speke
+nat so moche. This other answered and sayd thus: syr, I am a deuyll of
+hell; but I am one of them that haue leste power there. All be it yet I
+haue power to make a woman to speke, but and if a woman begyn ones to
+speke, I, nor all the deuyls in hell that haue the more power, be nat
+able to make a woman to be styll, nor to cause her to leaue her
+spekynge.</p>
+
+<p>By thys tale ye may note, that a man ofte tymes desyreth and coueteth
+moche that thynge, that ofte turneth to his displeasure.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_89" id="Page_89">[Pg 89]</a></span></p>
+
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<h3><a name="Of_the_Proctour_of_Arches_that_had_the_lytel_wyfe_lxi" id="Of_the_Proctour_of_Arches_that_had_the_lytel_wyfe_lxi"></a>&para; <i>Of the Proctour of Arches that had the lytel wyfe.</i> lxi.</h3>
+
+
+<p>&para; One askyd a Proctour of the Arches, lately before maryed, why he chose
+so lytel a wyfe; whiche answered: because he had a texte sayenge thus:
+ex duobus malis minus<a name="FNanchor_105_105" id="FNanchor_105_105"></a><a href="#Footnote_105_105" class="fnanchor">[105]</a> est eliendum, that is to saye in englyshe,
+amonge euyll thinges the leste is to be chosen.</p>
+
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<h3><a name="Of_ii_nonnes_that_were_shryuen_of_one_preste_lxii" id="Of_ii_nonnes_that_were_shryuen_of_one_preste_lxii"></a>&para; <i>Of ii nonnes that were shryuen of one preste.</i> lxii.</h3>
+
+
+<p>&para; In the tyme of Lente there came two nonnes to saynte Johnns in London
+bycause of the great pardon, there to be confessed. Of the whyche
+nonnes, the one was a young lady and the other was olde. This yonge lady
+chose fyrst her confessour, and confessed her that she hadde synned in
+lechery. The confessour asked, with whome it was; she sayd it was with a
+lustye gallante. He demaunded where it was; she sayd: in a plesaunte
+grene herber. He asked further: whan it was. She sayd: in the mery
+moneth of Maye. Than sayd the confessour this wyse: a fayre yonge lady,
+with a lusty galante, in a plesaunte herber, and in<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_90" id="Page_90">[Pg 90]</a></span> the mery moneth of
+Maye! Ye dyd but your kynde! Nowe, by my truthe, God forgyue you, and I
+do; and so she departed. And incontynent the olde nonne mette with her,
+askynge her howe she lyked her confessour; whiche sayd he was the best
+gostly father that euer she hadde and the most easyest in
+penaunce-geuyng. For comfort wherof this other nonne went to the same
+confessour and shroue her lykewyse, that she had synned in lechery. And
+he demaunded with whome. Whiche sayde: with an old frere. He asked
+where. She said: in her olde cloyster. He asked: what season. She sayde:
+in Lente. Than the confessour sayd: an old &mdash;&mdash;, to lye with an old
+frere, in her olde cloyster, and in the holy tyme of Lente! by cockes
+body,<a name="FNanchor_106_106" id="FNanchor_106_106"></a><a href="#Footnote_106_106" class="fnanchor">[106]</a> if God forgyue the, yet wyll I neuer forgyue the. Which
+wordes caused her to departe all sadde and sore abasshed.</p>
+
+<p>By this tale men may lerne, that a vicyous acte is more abhomynable in
+one person than in another, in one season than in another, and in one
+place than in an other.<a name="FNanchor_107_107" id="FNanchor_107_107"></a><a href="#Footnote_107_107" class="fnanchor">[107]</a><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_91" id="Page_91">[Pg 91]</a></span></p>
+
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<h3><a name="Of_the_esquyer_that_sholde_have_ben_made_knyght_lxiii" id="Of_the_esquyer_that_sholde_have_ben_made_knyght_lxiii"></a>&para; <i>Of the esquyer that sholde have ben made knyght.</i> lxiii.</h3>
+
+
+<p class="center">
+<i>4 lines of the original are wanting.</i>
+</p>
+
+<p>and the trumpettes began to blowe, a yonge squyer of Englande rydynge on
+a lusty courser of whych horse the noyse of the trumpettes so prycked
+the corage, that the squyer could nat him retayne; so that agaynste his
+wyll he ranne vpon hys enemyes. Whyche squyer, seynge none other remedy,
+sette his spere in the rest and rode throughe the thyckest of hys
+enemyes, and in conclusyon had good fortune, and saued hym selfe alyue
+without hurte: and the Englysshe hooste folowed and had the victorye.
+And after, whan the felde was wonne, this kynge Edwarde called the
+squyre and badde hym knele down, <i>and he</i> wolde make hym knyght, because
+he valyauntely was the man that day, which with the moost couragyous
+stomake aduentured fyrste vpon theyr enemyes. To whome the squyer thus
+answered: if it lyke your grace to make any one knyghte therfore, I
+beseche you to make my horse knyght, and nat <i>me: for certes</i> it was his
+dede, and nat myne, and full sore agaynst my wyll. Whiche answere the
+kynge herynge refrayned to<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_92" id="Page_92">[Pg 92]</a></span> promote hym to the order of knyghthode,
+reputynge hym in maner but for a cowarde; and euer after fauored hym the
+lesse therfore.</p>
+
+<p>By this tale a man may lerne, howe it is wysedome <i>when he is</i> in good
+credence to kepe hym[self] therein, and in no wyse to dysable<a name="FNanchor_108_108" id="FNanchor_108_108"></a><a href="#Footnote_108_108" class="fnanchor">[108]</a> hym selfe
+to moche.</p>
+
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<h3><a name="Of_him_that_wolde_gette_the_maystrye_of_his_wyfe_lxiv" id="Of_him_that_wolde_gette_the_maystrye_of_his_wyfe_lxiv"></a>&para; <i>Of him that wolde gette the maystrye of his wyfe.</i> lxiv.</h3>
+
+
+<p>&para; A yonge man, late maryed to a wyfe, thought it was good polecye to
+gette the maystrye of her in the begynnynge, came to her, the potte
+sethynge ouer the fyre, all thoughe the meate therein were nat ynoughe
+soden [and] commaunded<a name="FNanchor_109_109" id="FNanchor_109_109"></a><a href="#Footnote_109_109" class="fnanchor">[109]</a> her to take the potte fro the fyre; whiche
+answered and said that the meate was nat redy to eate. And he said
+agayne: I wyll haue it taken of for my pleasure. This good woman, lothe
+yet to offende hym, sette the potte besyde the fyre, as he badde. And
+anone after he commaunded her to sette the potte behynde the dore, and
+she said agayne: ye be nat wyse therin. But he precysely said, it shuld
+be so, as he bad. And she gentylly againe dyd<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_93" id="Page_93">[Pg 93]</a></span> his commaundement. This
+man, yet nat satisfied, comaunded her to set the pot a-hygh vpon the
+henne roste. What! quod the wyfe, I trowe ye be madde. And he fyerslye
+than comaunded her to sette it there, or els he sayd she shulde repente
+it. She, somwhat afrayde to moue his pacyence, toke a ladder, and sette
+it to the rost<a name="FNanchor_110_110" id="FNanchor_110_110"></a><a href="#Footnote_110_110" class="fnanchor">[110]</a> and wente her selfe vp the ladder, and toke the
+potte in her hande, prayeng her husbande than to holde the ladder faste
+for [fear of] slydynge; whiche so dyd. And whan the husbande loked up,
+and sawe the potte stande there on hyght, he sayd thus: Lo! nowe
+standeth the potte there, as I wolde haue it. This wyfe hearynge</p>
+
+<p class="center">
+<i>4 lines wanting.</i>
+</p>
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<h3><a name="Of_the_penytent_that_sayd_the_shepe_of_God_have_mercy_upon_me_lxv" id="Of_the_penytent_that_sayd_the_shepe_of_God_have_mercy_upon_me_lxv"></a>&para; <i>Of the penytent that sayd the shepe of God have mercy upon me.</i> lxv.</h3>
+
+
+<p>&para; A certayne confessour, in the holy tyme of Lente, enioyned his
+penytente to saye dayly for his penaunce this prayer: Agnus Dei miserere
+mei, whiche was as moche to saye in englysshe as the Lambe of God haue
+mercye vpon me. This penytente acceptynge his penaunce departed, and
+that tyme twelfe monthe after came agayne to be confessed of the same
+confessoure, whiche demaunded<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_94" id="Page_94">[Pg 94]</a></span> of him whether he had fulfylled his
+penaunce that he hym enioyned the laste yeare. <i>Than</i> he sayde thus: ye,
+syr, I thanke God I haue fulfylled it. For I haue sayd thus to daye in
+the mornynge and so dayly: the shepe of God haue mercy vpon me. To whome
+the confessour said: nay, I bad the say: Agnus Dei miserere mei, that
+is, the Lamb of God haue mercy vpon me. Ye, syr, quod the <i>penytente</i>,
+ye say truthe; that was the laste yeare. But now it is a twelfemonthe
+<i>since</i>, and it is a shepe by this tyme. Therfore I muste nedes say
+nowe: the shepe of God haue mercy vpon me.</p>
+
+<p>By this tale ye may perceyue, that if holy scripture be expowned to the
+lay people onely in the lytterall sence, peraduenture it shall do lytell
+good.</p>
+
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<h3><a name="Of_the_husbande_that_sayd_he_was_John_Daw_lxvi" id="Of_the_husbande_that_sayd_he_was_John_Daw_lxvi"></a>&para; <i>Of the husbande that sayd he was John Daw.</i> lxvi.</h3>
+
+
+<p>&para; It <i>happened</i> dyuers to be in communicacyon, amonge whome there was a
+curate or a parysshe preest and one John Dawe, a parisshon of his;
+whiche ii had communicacyon more busy than other in thys maner. This
+preest thought that one myght nat by felynge knowe one from a nother in
+the darke. John Dawe his parysshone,<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_95" id="Page_95">[Pg 95]</a></span> [being] of the contrary opinyon,
+layde with his curate for a wager xl pence; whervpon the parysshe
+preest, wyllynge to proue his wager, wente to this John Dawes house in
+the euenynge, and sodenly gate hym to bedde with his wyfe; where, whan
+he began to be somwhat busye, she felynge his crowne sayde shortely with
+a loude voyce: by God! thou art nat John Dawe. That hearynge, her
+husbande answered: thou sayest trouthe, wyfe, I John Dawe am here.<a name="FNanchor_111_111" id="FNanchor_111_111"></a><a href="#Footnote_111_111" class="fnanchor">[111]</a>
+Therfore, mayster persone, gyue me the money: for ye haue loste your xl.
+pence.</p>
+
+<p>By this tale ye may lerne to perceyue, that it is no wysedome for a man
+to be couetous of wynnynge of any wager to put in ieopardye a thynge,
+that maye turne him to greatter displeasure.</p>
+
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<h3><a name="Of_the_scoler_of_Oxforde_that_proued_by_souestry_ii_chykens_iii" id="Of_the_scoler_of_Oxforde_that_proued_by_souestry_ii_chykens_iii"></a>&para; <i>Of the scoler of Oxforde that proued by souestry ii chykens iii.</i> lxvii.</h3>
+
+
+
+<p>&para; A ryche Frankelyn in the contrey hauynge by his wyfe but one chylde
+and no mo, for the great affeccyon that he had to his sayd chylde founde
+hym at Oxforde to schole by the space of ii or iii yere. Thys yonge
+scoler, in a vacacyon<a name="FNanchor_112_112" id="FNanchor_112_112"></a><a href="#Footnote_112_112" class="fnanchor">[112]</a> tyme, for his disporte came home to his
+father. It for<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_96" id="Page_96">[Pg 96]</a></span>tuned afterwarde on a nyght, the father, the mother and
+the sayd yonge scoler</p>
+
+<p class="center">
+<i>5 lines wanting.</i>
+</p>
+
+<p><i>I</i> haue studyed souestry, and by that scyence I can proue, that these
+ii chekyns in the dysshe be thre chekyns.<a name="FNanchor_113_113" id="FNanchor_113_113"></a><a href="#Footnote_113_113" class="fnanchor">[113]</a> Mary, sayde the father,
+that wolde I fayne se. The scoller toke one of the chekyns in his hande
+and said: lo! here is one chekyn, and incontynente he toke bothe the
+chekyns in his hande iointely and sayd: here is ii chekyns; and one and
+ii maketh iii: ergo here is iii chekyns. Than the father toke one of the
+chekyns to him selfe, and gaue another to his wyfe, and sayd thus: lo! I
+wyll haue one of the chekyns to my parte, and thy mother shal haue a
+nother, and because of thy good argumente thou shalte haue the thyrde to
+thy supper: for thou gettyst no more meate here at this tyme; whyche
+promyse the father kepte, and so the scoller wente without his supper.</p>
+
+<p>By this tale men may se, that it is great foly to put one to scole to
+lerne any subtyll scyence, whiche hathe no naturall wytte.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_97" id="Page_97">[Pg 97]</a></span></p>
+
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<h3><a name="Of_the_frere_that_stale_the_podynge114_lxviii" id="Of_the_frere_that_stale_the_podynge114_lxviii"></a>&para; <i>Of the frere that stale the podynge.</i><a name="FNanchor_114_114" id="FNanchor_114_114"></a><a href="#Footnote_114_114" class="fnanchor">[114]</a> lxviii.</h3>
+
+
+<p>&para; A frere of London there was that on a Sonday in the mornynge
+yerly<a name="FNanchor_115_115" id="FNanchor_115_115"></a><a href="#Footnote_115_115" class="fnanchor">[115]</a> in the somer season came fro London to Barnette to make a
+colacyon,<a name="FNanchor_116_116" id="FNanchor_116_116"></a><a href="#Footnote_116_116" class="fnanchor">[116]</a> and was there an houre before hye masse began: and
+bycause he wolde come to the churche honestly, he wente fyrst to an ale
+house there to wype his shoes and to make him selfe clenly. In the
+whyche house there were podynges to sell, and dyuers folkes there
+brekynge theyr faste, and eatynge podynges. But the frere brake his
+faste in a secrete place in the same house. This frere sone after came
+to the church, and by lycence of the curate entered into the pulpet to
+make a colacyon or sermon. And in his sermon there he rebuked sore the
+maner of them that met to breke theyr faste on the Sonday before hye
+masse, and said it was called the deuyls blacke brekefast. And with that
+worde spekynge, as he dyd caste his armes out to make his countenaunce,
+there fell a podyng out of his sleue, whiche he hym selfe had stolen a
+lytell before in the same alehouse; and whan the people saw that, and
+specially they that brake<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_98" id="Page_98">[Pg 98]</a></span> theyr faste there the same mornynge, and
+knewe well that the wyfe had complayned howe she had one of her podynges
+stolen, they laughed so moche at the frere, that he incontynente wente
+downe out of the pulpet for shame.</p>
+
+<p>By this tale a man may se that, whan a precher dothe rebuke any synne or
+vyce wherin he is knowen openly to be gyltie him selfe, suche prechynge
+shall lytell edefye to the people.</p>
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<h3><a name="Of_the_frankelyns_sonne_that_cam_to_take_ordres_lxix" id="Of_the_frankelyns_sonne_that_cam_to_take_ordres_lxix"></a>&para; <i>Of the frankelyns sonne that cam to take ordres.</i> lxix.</h3>
+
+
+<p>&para; A certayne scoler there was, intendynge to be made a preest, whyche
+hadde nother great wytte nor lernynge, came to the bysshoppe to take
+orders, whose folysshenes the bysshoppe perceyuynge, because he was a
+ryche mannes sonne wolde nat very strongly oppose him, but asked him
+thys <i>questyon: Noye had thre sonnes, Sem, Came, and Japhete; nowe tell
+me, who was Japhetes father? But the scoler was all abashed, and knew
+nat what to answere: wherefore the bysshoppe sayde: get the home and
+consider awhile</i>, and come agayne and soyle<a name="FNanchor_117_117" id="FNanchor_117_117"></a><a href="#Footnote_117_117" class="fnanchor">[117]</a> me this questyon, and
+thou shalt haue orders. This scoler so departed and came home to his
+father, and shewed hym the cause of the<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_99" id="Page_99">[Pg 99]</a></span> hynderaunce of his orders. Hys
+father, beyng angry at his folisshenes, thought to teche hym the
+solucyon of this questyon by a familier example, and called his spanyels
+before hym, and sayd thus: Thou knowest well, Colle my dogge hathe these
+iii. whelpes, Ryg, Trygge and Tryboll. Muste nat all my dogges nedes be
+syre to Tryboll? Than quod the scoler: by God! father, ye [have] sayd
+trouthe. Let me alone nowe; ye shall se me do well ynoughe the nexte
+tyme. Wherfore on the morowe he wente to the bysshoppe agayne, and sayd
+he coulde soyle his questyon. Than sayd the bysshoppe: Noye had thre
+sonnes, Sem, Came,<a name="FNanchor_118_118" id="FNanchor_118_118"></a><a href="#Footnote_118_118" class="fnanchor">[118]</a> and Japhete. Now, tell me who was Japhetes
+father. Mary, syr, quod the scoler, if it plese youre lordeshyppe, Colle
+my fathers dogge.</p>
+
+<p>By this tale a man may lerne, that it is but loste tyme to teche a fole
+any thynge, whiche hathe no wytte to perceyue it.</p>
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<h3><a name="Of_the_husbandman_that_lodgyd_the_frere_in_his_own_bedde_lxx" id="Of_the_husbandman_that_lodgyd_the_frere_in_his_own_bedde_lxx"></a>&para; <i>Of the husbandman that lodgyd the frere in his own bedde.</i> lxx.</h3>
+
+
+<p>&para; It fortuned so that a frere, late in the euenynge, desyred lodgynge of
+a poore man of the countrey,<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_100" id="Page_100">[Pg 100]</a></span> the whiche for lacke of other lodgyng,
+glad to harborowe the frere, lodged him in his owne bedde. And after, he
+and his wyfe, the frere beynge a slepe, came and laye in the same bedde;
+and in the mornynge after the poore man rose and went to the market,
+leauyng the frere in the bedde with his wyfe. And as he wente he smiled
+and laughte to hym selfe; wherfore hys neyghbours demaunded of hym, why
+he so smyled. He answered and sayd: I laughe to thynke, howe shamefaste
+the frere shal be whanne he waketh, whome I left in bedde with my wyfe.</p>
+
+<p>By this tale a man may lerne, that he that ouershoteth hym selfe doth
+folysshely: yet he is more fole to shewe it openly.</p>
+
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<h3><a name="Of_the_preste_that_wolde_say_two_gospels_for_a_grote_lxxi" id="Of_the_preste_that_wolde_say_two_gospels_for_a_grote_lxxi"></a>&para; <i>Of the preste that wolde say two gospels for a grote.</i> lxxi.</h3>
+
+
+<p>&para; Somtyme there dwelled a preest in Stretforde vpon Auyne of small
+lernyng, which vndeuoutly sange masse and oftentymes twyse on one day.
+So it happened on a tyme, after his seconde masse was done in shorte
+space, nat a myle from Stretforde there mette with hym dyuers marchaunte
+men whiche wolde haue harde masse, and desyred hym to synge masse and he
+shuld haue a grote;<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_101" id="Page_101">[Pg 101]</a></span> whiche answered them and sayd: syrs, I wyll say
+masse no more this day; but I wyll say you two gospels for one grote,
+and that is dogge chepe [for] a masse in any place in Englande.</p>
+
+<p>By this tale a man may se, that they that be rude and unlerned regarde
+but lytell the meryte and goodness of holy prayer.</p>
+
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<h3><a name="Of_the_coutear_that_dyd_cast_the_frere_ouer_the_bote_lxxii" id="Of_the_coutear_that_dyd_cast_the_frere_ouer_the_bote_lxxii"></a>&para; <i>Of the coutear that dyd cast the frere ouer the bote.</i> lxxii.</h3>
+
+
+<p class="center"><i>Too much damaged to decypher.</i></p>
+
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<h3><a name="Of_the_frere_that_prechyd_what_mennys_sowles_were_lxxiii" id="Of_the_frere_that_prechyd_what_mennys_sowles_were_lxxiii"></a>&para; <i>Of the frere that prechyd what mennys sowles were.</i> lxxiii.</h3>
+
+
+<p>&para; A precher in pulpet whiche prechyd the worde <i>of God, amonge other</i>
+matters spake of mennes soules and sayd <i>that the soule was so</i> subtyll
+that a thousande soules myght daunce <i>on the space of the nayle of a</i>
+mannes fynger. Amonge which audyence there was a mery conceyted <i>fellow</i>
+of small deuocyon that answered and sayde thus: mayster doctour, if a
+thousande soules may daunce on a mannes nayle, I praye you than, where
+shall the pyper stande?</p>
+
+<p>By this tale a man may se, that it is but foly to shewe or to teche
+vertue to them, that haue no pleasure nor mynde therto.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_102" id="Page_102">[Pg 102]</a></span></p>
+
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<h3><a name="Of_the_husbande_that_cryed_ble_under_the_bed_lxxiv" id="Of_the_husbande_that_cryed_ble_under_the_bed_lxxiv"></a>&para; <i>Of the husbande that cryed ble under the bed.</i> lxxiv.</h3>
+
+
+<p>&para; In London there was a certayne artifycer hauyng a fayre wife, to whom
+a lusty galante made pursute to accomplisshe his pleasure. This woman,
+denyeng, shewed the matter vnto her husband whiche, moued therewith, bad
+his wyfe to appoynte him a tyme to come secretly to lye with her all
+nyght, and with great crakes and othes sware that, agaynst his comyng,
+he wolde be redy harneysed and wolde put him in ieopardye of his lyfe,
+except he wolde make hym a great amendes. Thys nyght was then appoynted;
+at whiche tyme thys courtyer came at his houre, and entred in at the
+chamber, and set his two-hande sworde downe, and sayde these wordes:
+stande thou there, thou sworde, the dethe of thre men! This husbande
+lyenge vnder the bedde in harneys, herynge these wordes, lay still for
+fere. The courtyer anone gat him to bed with the wyfe about his
+prepensed busynesse; and within an houre or two the husbande, beynge
+wery of lyenge, beganne to remoue hym. The courtyer, that hearynge,
+asked the wyfe what thinge that was that remoued vnder the bedde;
+whiche, excusyng the matter, sayd it was a lytell shepe, that was wonte
+dayly to go about the house; and<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_103" id="Page_103">[Pg 103]</a></span> the husbande, that herynge, anone
+cryed <i>ble</i>, as it had ben a shepe. And so in conclusyon, whan the
+courtyer sawe his tyme, he rose and kissed the wyfe, and took his leaue
+and departed. And as sone as he was gone the husbande arose; and, whan
+the wyfe loked on him, somwhat abasshed began to make a sad countenance;
+and [she] sayde; alas! syr, why did you * *</p>
+
+<p class="center"><i>The remainder of this tale is wanting.</i></p>
+
+<p><i>By this tale ye may se</i>, that he is not wyse that will put his
+confydence <i>in bosters</i> and great crakers, whiche ofte tymes wyll do but
+ly<i>tell, when it comes to</i> the poynte.</p>
+
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<h3><a name="Of_the_shomaker_that_asked_the_colyer_what_tydynges_in_hell119" id="Of_the_shomaker_that_asked_the_colyer_what_tydynges_in_hell119"></a>&para; <i>Of the shomaker that asked the colyer what tydynges in hell.</i><a name="FNanchor_119_119" id="FNanchor_119_119"></a><a href="#Footnote_119_119" class="fnanchor">[119]</a> lxxv.</h3>
+
+
+
+<p>&para; A souter<a name="FNanchor_120_120" id="FNanchor_120_120"></a><a href="#Footnote_120_120" class="fnanchor">[120]</a> syttynge in his shope, that sawe a colyer come by,
+<i>deryded hym</i>, because he was so blacke, and asked hym, what newes from
+hell and<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_104" id="Page_104">[Pg 104]</a></span> howe the deuyll fared. To whome the colyer answeryd hym: he
+was well, whan I sawe hym laste; for he was rydynge <i>and waited</i> but for
+a souter to plucke on his botes.</p>
+
+<p>By this ye may se that he that vseth to deryde other folkes is somtyme
+him selfe more deryded and mocked.</p>
+
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<h3><a name="Of_Seynt_Peter_that_cryed_cause_bobe_lxxvi" id="Of_Seynt_Peter_that_cryed_cause_bobe_lxxvi"></a>&para; <i>Of Seynt Peter that cryed cause bobe.</i> lxxvi.</h3>
+
+
+<p>&para; I fynde wrytten amonge olde gestes,<a name="FNanchor_121_121" id="FNanchor_121_121"></a><a href="#Footnote_121_121" class="fnanchor">[121]</a> howe God mayde Saynt Peter
+porter of heuen, and that God of hys goodnes, sone after his passyon,
+suffered many men to come to the kyngdome of Heuen with small
+deseruynge; at whiche tyme there was in heuen a great company of
+Welchemen, whyche with their crakynge and babelynge troubled all the
+other. Wherfore God sayde to saynte Peter, that he was wery of them, and
+that he wolde fayne haue them out of heuen. To whome saynte Peter sayd:
+Good Lorde, I warrente you, that shal be<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_105" id="Page_105">[Pg 105]</a></span> done. Wherfore saynt Peter
+wente out of heuen gates and cryed wyth a loud voyce <i>Cause bobe</i>, that
+is as moche to saye as rosted chese, whiche thynge the Welchemen
+herynge, ranne out of Heuen a great pace. And when Saynt Peter sawe them
+all out, he sodenly wente into Heuen, and locked the dore, and so
+sparred all the Welchemen out.</p>
+
+<p>By this ye may se, that it is no wysdome for a man to loue or to set his
+mynde to moche vpon any delycate or worldely pleasure, wherby he shall
+lose the celestyall and eternall ioye.</p>
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<h3><a name="Of_hym_that_aduenturyd_body_and_soule_for_hys_prynce_lxxvii" id="Of_hym_that_aduenturyd_body_and_soule_for_hys_prynce_lxxvii"></a>&para; <i>Of hym that aduenturyd body and soule for hys prynce.</i> lxxvii.</h3>
+
+
+<p>&para; Two knyghtes there were which wente to a standynge fylde with theyr
+prynce; but one of them was confessed before he wente, but the other
+wente into the felde without shryfte or repentaunce. Afterwarde thys
+prynce wanne the fylde, and had the victory that day; wherfore he that
+was confessed came to the prynce, and asked an offyce and sayd that he
+had deserved it, for he had done good seruice and aduentured that day as
+farre as any man in the felde. To whome the other that was unconfessed
+answered and sayd: nay, by the masse, I am more worthy to haue a rewarde
+than<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_106" id="Page_106">[Pg 106]</a></span> he: for he aduentured but his body for your sake, for he durst nat
+go to the felde tyll he was confessed; <i>but I that was unconfessed
+adventured my soule</i>.<a name="FNanchor_122_122" id="FNanchor_122_122"></a><a href="#Footnote_122_122" class="fnanchor">[122]</a> * * * *</p>
+
+<p class="center"><i>The remainder of this tale is wanting.</i>
+</p>
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+
+<h3>&para; <i>Of the parson that stale the mylners elys.</i> lxxviii.</h3>
+
+
+<p class="center"><i>Too imperfect to decypher.</i></p>
+
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<h3><a name="Of_the_Welchman_that_saw_one_xls_better_than_God_lxxix" id="Of_the_Welchman_that_saw_one_xls_better_than_God_lxxix"></a>&para; <i>Of the Welchman that saw one xls. better than God.</i> lxxix.</h3>
+
+
+<p>&para; A Welchman on a tyme went to churche to <i>be shryued, and chanced</i> to
+come in euyn at the sacryng-time.<a name="FNanchor_123_123" id="FNanchor_123_123"></a><a href="#Footnote_123_123" class="fnanchor">[123]</a> When he had <i>confessed him</i> he
+went home, wher one of his felowes askyd hym wh<i>ether he had seen God</i>
+Almighty to day; which answerd and sayd: nay, but I saw <i>one forty
+shillings better</i>.</p>
+
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<h3><a name="Of_the_frere_that_said_dyryge_for_the_hoggys_soule_lxxx" id="Of_the_frere_that_said_dyryge_for_the_hoggys_soule_lxxx"></a>&para; <i>Of the frere that said dyryge for the hoggys soule.</i> lxxx.</h3>
+
+
+<p>&para; Upon a tyme certayn women in the countrye were <i>appoynted<a name="FNanchor_124_124" id="FNanchor_124_124"></a><a href="#Footnote_124_124" class="fnanchor">[124]</a> to
+dery</i>de and mokke a frere limi<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_107" id="Page_107">[Pg 107]</a></span>tour, that vsed moche to <i>trouble them</i>;
+whereupon one of them, a lytyll before the frere came, <i>tooke a hogge</i>,
+and for dysport leyd it under the borde after the manner of a corse;
+<i>and told the</i> frere it was her good man and dysyred hime to say dirige
+for his soule. <i>Where</i>fore the frere and his felaw began Placebo and
+Dirige and so fo<i>rth, thorough</i> the seruyse full devowtly, which the
+wyues so heryng could not re<i>fraine</i> them selfe from lawghynge and went
+in to a lytyll parler to lawgh <i>more</i> at theyr pleasure. These freris
+somwhat suspected the cause, and quikly, <i>or</i> that the women were ware,
+lokyd under the borde, and spying<a name="FNanchor_125_125" id="FNanchor_125_125"></a><a href="#Footnote_125_125" class="fnanchor">[125]</a> that it was an hog, sodenly toke
+it bytwene them and bare it homeward as fast as they might. The women,
+seyng that, ran after the frere and cryed: com agayn, maester frere,
+come agayne, and let it allone. Nay by my faith, quod the frere, he is a
+broder of ours, and therefore he must nedys be buryed in oure cloyster.
+And so the frerys gate the hog.</p>
+
+<p>By this ye may se, that they that use to deride and mok other, somtyme
+it tornyth to theyre owne losse and damage.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_108" id="Page_108">[Pg 108]</a></span></p>
+
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<h3><a name="Of_the_parson_that_sayde_masse_of_requiem_for_Crystes_soul_lxxxi" id="Of_the_parson_that_sayde_masse_of_requiem_for_Crystes_soul_lxxxi"></a>&para; <i>Of the parson that sayde masse of requiem for Crystes soul.</i> lxxxi.</h3>
+
+
+<p>&para; A certayn prest there was that dwellyd in the cuntry which was not
+very well lernyd. Therfore on Ester-Euyn he sent his boy to the prest of
+the next town, that was ii. myle from thens, to know what masse he
+sholde synge on the morowe. This boy came to the sayd prest, and dyd his
+maysters errande to hym. Then quod the prest: tel thy mayster that he
+must * *</p>
+
+<p class="center"><i>Several lines wanting.</i>
+</p>
+
+<p>masse he shuld synge on the morowe. By my trothe, <i>quod the boy</i>, I have
+forgotten it; but he bad me tell you it began * * * * <i>Then quod the
+prest</i>: I trowe thou sayest trewth: for now I remem<i>ber me it is the
+masse of requiem</i>: for God Almyghty dyed upon Good Fry<i>day</i>, and it <i>is
+meet we shulde say masse</i> for hys soule.</p>
+
+<p><i>By thys tale ye may se, that</i> when one fole sendyth another fole on hys
+er<i>rand, hys</i> besynes folyshly sped.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_109" id="Page_109">[Pg 109]</a></span></p>
+
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<h3><a name="Of_the_herdeman_that_sayde_ryde_apace_ye_shall_haue_rayn_lxxxii" id="Of_the_herdeman_that_sayde_ryde_apace_ye_shall_haue_rayn_lxxxii"></a>&para; <i>Of the herdeman that sayde: ryde apace, ye shall haue rayn.</i> lxxxii.</h3>
+
+
+<p>&para; <i>A certayne skoler of Oxenford</i> which had studied the iudicials of
+astronomy, <i>upon a tyme as he</i> was rydyng by the way, came<a name="FNanchor_126_126" id="FNanchor_126_126"></a><a href="#Footnote_126_126" class="fnanchor">[126]</a> by a
+herdman; and <i>he asked thys herdm</i>an how far it was to the next town.
+Syr, quod the herd<i>man, it is rather</i> past a mile and an half; but, sir,
+quod he, ye nede to ryde <i>apace: for ye shal h</i>aue a shower of rayn, or
+ye com thider. What, quod the skoler, <i>maketh ye say so</i>? There ys no
+token of rayn: for the cloudes be both fayr and clere. <i>By my troth</i>,
+quod the herdman, but ye shall fynd it so. The skoler then rode forth,
+<i>and it chanced</i> or he had ryden half a myle forther, there fell a good
+showre of rayn <i>and<a name="FNanchor_127_127" id="FNanchor_127_127"></a><a href="#Footnote_127_127" class="fnanchor">[127]</a> thys</i> skoler was well washyd and wett to the
+skyn. The skoler then tornyd <i>hym backe, and</i> rode to the herdman, and
+desyryd hym to tech him that connyng. <i>Nay</i>, quod the herdman, I wyll
+not tech you my connynge for nought. Then <i>the skoler</i> profferyde hym xl
+shyllyngs to teche hym that connynge. The herd<i>man, after</i> he had
+reseyuyd hys money, sayd thus: syr, se you not<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_110" id="Page_110">[Pg 110]</a></span> yonder <i>blacke</i> ewe with
+the whyte face? Yes, quod the skoler. Suerly, quod the herdman, when she
+daunsith and holdeth up her tayle, ye shall haue a showre of rayn within
+half an howre after.<a name="FNanchor_128_128" id="FNanchor_128_128"></a><a href="#Footnote_128_128" class="fnanchor">[128]</a></p>
+
+<p>By this ye may se, that the connyng of herdmen and shepardes, as
+touchinge alteracyons of weders, is more sure than the iudicials of
+astronomy.</p>
+
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<h3><a name="Of_hym_that_sayde_I_shall_haue_nener_a_peny_lxxxiii" id="Of_hym_that_sayde_I_shall_haue_nener_a_peny_lxxxiii"></a>&para; <i>Of hym that sayde: I shall haue nener a peny.</i> lxxxiii.</h3>
+
+
+<p>&para; In a certayne towne, there was a rych man that lay on his deth bed at
+poynte of deth, whyche chargyd hys executours to dele<a name="FNanchor_129_129" id="FNanchor_129_129"></a><a href="#Footnote_129_129" class="fnanchor">[129]</a> for hys soule
+a certayne some of money in pence, and on thys condicion chargyd them as
+they would answere afore God, that euery pore man that cam to them and
+told a trew tale shulde haue a peny, and they that said a fals thing
+shuld haue none; and in the dole-tyme there cam one whych sayd that God
+was a good man. Quod the executours: thou shalt haue a peny, for thou
+saist trouth. Anone came a nother and said, the deuil was a good man.
+Quod the executours: there thou lyest; therefore thou shalt haue nere a
+peny. At laste came on[e] to the executors and said thus: ye shall gyue
+me<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_111" id="Page_111">[Pg 111]</a></span> nere a peny: which wordes made the executors amasyd, and toke
+aduysment whyther they shuld * * * *</p>
+
+<p class="center"><i>The end of this tale is wanting.</i></p>
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<h3><a name="Of_the_husbande_that_sayde_hys_wyfe_and_he_agreed_well_lxxxiv" id="Of_the_husbande_that_sayde_hys_wyfe_and_he_agreed_well_lxxxiv"></a>&para; <i>Of the husbande that sayde hys wyfe and he agreed well.</i> lxxxiv.</h3>
+
+
+<p class="center">
+<i>Too imperfect to decypher.</i>
+</p>
+
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<h3><a name="Of_the_prest_that_sayde_Comede_episcope_lxxxv" id="Of_the_prest_that_sayde_Comede_episcope_lxxxv"></a>&para; <i>Of the prest that sayde Comede episcope.</i> lxxxv.</h3>
+
+
+<p>&para; In the tyme of visitacyon a bysshoppe, whi<i>che was maryed</i><a name="FNanchor_130_130" id="FNanchor_130_130"></a><a href="#Footnote_130_130" class="fnanchor">[130]</a> and
+had gote many chyldren, prepared to questyon a preest what rule he
+kepte, whiche preest had a le<i>man</i> * * * * * and by her had two or thre
+small chyldren. In shorte <i>tyme before the Bys</i>shoppes commynge, he
+prepared a rowme to hyde his <i>leman and children</i> ouer in the rofe of
+his hall; and whan the bysshoppe was <i>come and discoursing</i> with him in
+the same hall, hauynge x of his owne chyldren about him, <i>the preest</i>,
+who coude speke lytell lytyn or none, bad the bysshoppe in<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_112" id="Page_112">[Pg 112]</a></span> latyn * * * *
+Comede,<a name="FNanchor_131_131" id="FNanchor_131_131"></a><a href="#Footnote_131_131" class="fnanchor">[131]</a> episcope. This woman in rofe of the house, hearing <i>the
+preest say</i> so, had went<a name="FNanchor_132_132" id="FNanchor_132_132"></a><a href="#Footnote_132_132" class="fnanchor">[132]</a> he had called her, byddynge her: come,
+Ede; and <i>answered him</i> and sayde: shall I brynge my chyldren with me
+also? The bysshoppe, <i>hearing</i> this, sayde in sporte: vxor tua sicut
+vitis abundans in lateribus domus tu&aelig;. The preest than, halfe amasyd,
+answerd and sayd: filii tui sicut nouell&aelig; oliuarum in circuitu mens&aelig;
+tu&aelig;.</p>
+
+<p>By this ye may se, that they, that have but small lernyng, som tyme
+speke truely unaduysed.</p>
+
+
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<h3><a name="Of_the_woman_that_stale_the_pot_lxxxvi" id="Of_the_woman_that_stale_the_pot_lxxxvi"></a>&para; <i>Of the woman that stale the pot.</i> lxxxvi.</h3>
+
+
+<p>&para; On Ashe Wednesday in the mornynge, was a curate of a churche whyche
+had made good chere the nyght afore and sytten up late, and came to the
+churche to here confessyon, to whome there came a woman; and among other
+thynges she confessed her that she had stolen a potte. But than, because
+of greate watche that this preest had, he there sodenly felle aslepe;
+and whan this woman sawe him nat wyllynge to here her, she rose and went
+her waye. And anone an other woman kneled down to the same preest and
+began to say: Benedicite; wherwith this preest sodenly<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_113" id="Page_113">[Pg 113]</a></span> awaked, and
+wenynge she had ben the other woman,<a name="FNanchor_133_133" id="FNanchor_133_133"></a><a href="#Footnote_133_133" class="fnanchor">[133]</a> sayd all angerly, what! arte
+thou nowe at Benedicite agayne? tell me, what dyddest thou whan thou
+haddest stolyn the potte?</p>
+
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<h3><a name="Of_mayster_Whyttynton_dreme134_lxxxvii" id="Of_mayster_Whyttynton_dreme134_lxxxvii"></a>&para; <i>Of mayster Whyttynton dreme.</i><a name="FNanchor_134_134" id="FNanchor_134_134"></a><a href="#Footnote_134_134" class="fnanchor">[134]</a> lxxxvii.</h3>
+
+
+<p>&para; Sone after one maister Whyttynton had bylded a colege, on a nyght as
+he slepte, he dremed that he satte in his church and many folkes there
+also; and further he dremed that he sawe Our Lady in the same church
+with a glas of goodly oyntemente in her hande goynge to one askynge him
+what he had done for her sake; which sayd that he had sayd Our Ladyes
+sauter<a name="FNanchor_135_135" id="FNanchor_135_135"></a><a href="#Footnote_135_135" class="fnanchor">[135]</a> euery daye: wherfore she<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_114" id="Page_114">[Pg 114]</a></span> gaue him a lytel of the oyle. And
+anone she wente to another. * * *</p>
+
+<p class="center"><i>Several lines wanting.</i>
+</p>
+
+<p><i>he had buylded</i> a great college, and was very gladde in hys mynde. <i>Whan
+that Oure Ladye cam to hym</i>, she asked him what he hadde suffred for her
+<i>sake, this</i> questyon made him greatly abashed, because he had nothing
+to <i>answer; wherefore Our Lady</i> him informed that for all the great dede
+of buyldynge <i>of a colege he must haue no parte of</i> that goodly
+oyntemente.</p>
+
+<p><i>By this ye may perceue</i>, that to suffre for Goddes sake is more
+<i>acceptable to God than to buyld or</i> gyue great goodes.</p>
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<h3><a name="Of_the_prest_that_killed_his_horse_called_modicus_lxxxviii" id="Of_the_prest_that_killed_his_horse_called_modicus_lxxxviii"></a>&para; <i>Of the prest that killed his horse called modicus.</i> lxxxviii.</h3>
+
+
+<p>&para; <i>A certayne Bysshoppe</i> appoynted to go on visytacion to a preeste's;
+<i>and, bycause he</i> would haue the preest do but lyttel coste vpon him, he
+told him to prepare but lytell meate saying thus: Preparas * * * * *
+<i>modicus</i>. This preest whyche understode hym nat halfe well, had <i>some
+desire</i>,<a name="FNanchor_136_136" id="FNanchor_136_136"></a><a href="#Footnote_136_136" class="fnanchor">[136]</a> wherfore he thoughte to obtayne the bysshoppes fauour;
+<i>and therfore againste</i> the bys<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_115" id="Page_115">[Pg 115]</a></span>shoppes comynge kylled his horse that
+was <i>called Modicus</i>, whereof the bysshoppe and his seruauntes ete
+parte; whiche, <i>whan the byss</i>hoppe knewe afterwarde, was greatly
+displeased.</p>
+
+<p>By this ye may se, that many a fole dothe moche coste in makyng <i>good
+chere</i> at dyners, whiche bathe but lytell thanke for his laboure.</p>
+
+
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<h3><a name="Of_the_Welcheman_that_stale_the_Englysshmans_cocke_lxxxix" id="Of_the_Welcheman_that_stale_the_Englysshmans_cocke_lxxxix"></a>&para; <i>Of the Welcheman that stale the Englysshmans cocke.</i> lxxxix.</h3>
+
+
+<p>&para; A Welcheman dwellynge in Englande fortuned to stele an Englysshemans
+cocke, and set it on the fyre to sethe; wherefore thys Englysheman,
+suspecting the Welcheman, came to his house, and sawe the cocke sethyng
+on the fyre and said to the Welcheman thus: syr, this is my cocke. Mary,
+quod the Welcheman; and if it be thyne, thou shalte haue thy parte of
+it. Nay, quod the Englyssheman, that is nat ynoughe. By cottes blut and
+her nayle! quod the Welcheman, if her be nat ynoughe nowe, her will be
+ynoughe anone: for her hath a good fyre under her.</p>
+
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<h3><a name="Of_hym_that_brought_a_botell_to_a_preste_xc" id="Of_hym_that_brought_a_botell_to_a_preste_xc"></a>&para; <i>Of hym that brought a botell to a preste.</i> xc.</h3>
+
+<p>&para; Certayne vycars<a name="FNanchor_137_137" id="FNanchor_137_137"></a><a href="#Footnote_137_137" class="fnanchor">[137]</a> of Poules, disposed to be mery on a Sonday at hye
+masse tyme, sente<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_116" id="Page_116">[Pg 116]</a></span> another madde felowe of theyr acquointance unto a
+folysshe dronken preest to gyue hym a bottell, whiche man met with the
+preest upon the toppe of the stayres by the chauncell dore, and spake to
+him and sayd thus: syr, my mayster hath sente you a bottell to put your
+drynke in, because he can kepe none in your braynes. This preest,
+therwith beynge very angry, all sodenly toke the bottell, and with his
+fote flange it downe into the body of the churche upon the gentylmans
+hede.<a name="FNanchor_138_138" id="FNanchor_138_138"></a><a href="#Footnote_138_138" class="fnanchor">[138]</a></p>
+
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<h3><a name="Of_the_endytement_of_Jesu_of_Nazareth_xci" id="Of_the_endytement_of_Jesu_of_Nazareth_xci"></a>&para; <i>Of the endytement of Jesu of Nazareth.</i> xci.</h3>
+
+
+<p>&para; A certayne Jury in the countye of Myddelsex was enpaneled for the
+kynge to enquere of all endytements, murders, and felonyes. The persones
+of this panell were folyshe, couetous and unlerned: for who so euer
+wolde gyue them a grote, they wolde affyne and verifye his byll, whether
+it were true or fals, withoute any profe or euydence; wherefore one that
+was * * * *</p>
+
+<p class="center"><i>Some lines wanting.</i>
+</p>
+
+<p><i>the Jury loking</i> on the grote and nothing on the byll as was their
+<i>costome</i>, which byll whan it was<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_117" id="Page_117">[Pg 117]</a></span> presented into the courte, <i>the
+judge</i> said openly before all the people: lo! syrs, here is the
+<i>straungest byll euer</i> presented by an enquest: for here they haue
+indyted <i>Jesu of Nazareth</i> for stelyng of an asse. Which whan the people
+harde it, it <i>made them all to laughe</i>, and to wonder at the folysshenes
+and shamefull periury <i>of the Jury</i>.</p>
+
+<p>By this ye may se, it is great parell<a name="FNanchor_139_139" id="FNanchor_139_139"></a><a href="#Footnote_139_139" class="fnanchor">[139]</a> to enpanell <i>men upon an</i>
+enquest, whiche be folysshe and haue but small <i>witte or honesty</i>.</p>
+
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<h3><a name="Of_the_frere_that_preched_agaynst_them_that_rode_on_the_Sonday" id="Of_the_frere_that_preched_agaynst_them_that_rode_on_the_Sonday"></a>&para; <i>Of the frere that preched agaynst them that rode on the Sonday.</i> xcii.</h3>
+
+
+
+<p>&para; In a certayne parryshe, a frere preched and <i>said moche</i> againt them,
+that rode on the Sonday euer lokyng upon <i>one that was there</i>, spurred
+redy to ryde. This man, perceuyng that <i>the frere loked at</i> hym, sodenly
+halfe in angre answered the frere thus: <i>I meruayle that ye say so</i>
+moche agaynste them that ryde on the Sonday: for Christe <i>rode into
+Jerusalem</i> on Palme Sonday, as thou knowest well it is wrytten * * *
+<i>To</i> whome the frere sodenly answered and sayd thus: <i>but knowe ye not
+also what came</i> thereof? Was he nat hanged on<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_118" id="Page_118">[Pg 118]</a></span> the Fryday after! Whiche
+hearing <i>all them that were</i> in the churche fell on laughynge.</p>
+
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<h3><a name="Of_the_one_broder_that_founde_a_purs_xciii" id="Of_the_one_broder_that_founde_a_purs_xciii"></a>&para; <i>Of the one broder that founde a purs.</i> xciii.</h3>
+
+
+<p>&para; There was a certayne man that had two sonnes unl<i>yke eche other</i>. For
+the eldyst was lustye and quycke, and vsed moch<i>e betimes to</i> walke into
+the fyldes. Than was the yonger slowe, and vsed <i>moche</i> to lye in his
+bed as long as he myght. So on a day the elder, as <i>he was vsed</i>, rose
+erly and walked into the fyldes; and there by fortune he founde a purse
+of money, and brought it home to his father. His father, whan he had it,
+wente strayght to hys other sonne yet lyenge than in his bed and sayd to
+him: o thou slogarde, quod he, seyst thou nat thyne eldest brother, howe
+he by hys erly rysyng had founde a purse with money whereby we shall be
+greatly holpen all our lyfe, whyle thou sluggynge in thy bedde dost
+no<a name="FNanchor_140_140" id="FNanchor_140_140"></a><a href="#Footnote_140_140" class="fnanchor">[140]</a> good but slepe? He than wyst nat what to say, but answered
+shortly and said: father, quod he, if he that hathe loste the purse and
+money had lyne in hys bedde that same tyme that he loste it, as I do
+nowe, my brother had founde no purse nor money to day.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_119" id="Page_119">[Pg 119]</a></span></p>
+
+<p>By this ye may se, that they that be accustomed in vyce and synne will
+alwaye fynde one excuse or other to cloke therewyth theyr vyce and
+vnthryftynes.</p>
+
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<h3><a name="Of_the_answere_of_the_mastres_to_the_mayde_xciv" id="Of_the_answere_of_the_mastres_to_the_mayde_xciv"></a>&para; <i>Of the answere of the mastres to the mayde.</i> xciv.</h3>
+
+
+<p>&para; A certayne wyfe there was, whiche was somwhat fayre, and, as all women
+be that be fayre, was somwhat proude of her beautye; and as she and her
+mayde satte together, she, as one that was desyrous to be praysed, sayd
+to her thus: I, faythe, Jone, howe thynkest thou? am I nat a fayre wyfe?
+Yes, by my trouth, maistres, quod she, ye be the fayrest that euer was
+excepte * * *</p>
+
+<p class="center"><i>The end is wanting.</i>
+</p>
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<h3>&para; <i>Of the northern man that was all harte.</i> xcv.</h3>
+
+
+<p class="center">
+<i>Of this tale but a small fragment remains.</i>
+</p>
+
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<h3><a name="Of_the_burnynge_of_olde_John_xcvi" id="Of_the_burnynge_of_olde_John_xcvi"></a>&para; <i>Of the burnynge of olde John.</i> xcvi.</h3>
+
+
+<p>&para; <i>In a certayne</i> towne there was a wife somewhat aged, that had beryed
+<i>her husbande</i>, whose name was John, whome she so tend<i>erlye loued in
+his</i> lyfe, that after hys dethe she caused an ymage of tymber<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_120" id="Page_120">[Pg 120]</a></span> <i>to be
+made in forme</i> and persone as lyke to hym as coulde be; whiche ymage
+<i>she kept carefully</i> under her bedde; and euery nyghte she caused her
+mayde to <i>wrap the ymage in a shete</i> and lay it in her bedde; and called
+it olde John. Thys <i>widowe had</i> a prentyse whose name was John; whiche
+John wolde fayne <i>haue married hys</i> maystres, nat for no great pleasure,
+but onely for her good <i>substance: for she</i> was ryche. Wherefore he
+ymagened howe he myght obtayne hys <i>desire and so dyd</i> speke to the
+mayde of the house, and desyred her to lay hym in hys maystres bedde for
+one nyghte in stede of the pycture,<a name="FNanchor_141_141" id="FNanchor_141_141"></a><a href="#Footnote_141_141" class="fnanchor">[141]</a> and promysed her a good rewarde
+for her laboure; whyche mayde ouer nyghte wrapped the sayde younge man
+in a shete, and layde hym in his maysters bedde, as she was wonte to
+laye the pycture. Thys wydowe was wonte euery nyght, before she slepte
+and dyuers tymes whan she waked, to kysse the sayde pycture of olde
+John: wherefore the sayde nyghte she kyssed the sayde yonge man,
+beleuynge that she hadde kyste the picture. And he sodenly sterte,<a name="FNanchor_142_142" id="FNanchor_142_142"></a><a href="#Footnote_142_142" class="fnanchor">[142]</a>
+and toke her in his armes, and so well pleased her than, that olde John
+from<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_121" id="Page_121">[Pg 121]</a></span> thens forth was clene out of her mynde, and [she] was contente
+that this yonge John shulde lye with her styll all that nyghte, and that
+the pycture of olde John shulde lye styll under the bedde for a thynge
+of noughte. After thys in the mornynge, thys wydowe, intendynge to
+please this yonge John whyche had made her so good pastyme all the
+nyght, bad her mayde go dresse some good mete for their brekefast to
+feaste therwith her yonge John. This mayde, whan she had longe sought
+for wode to dresse the sayde mete, told her maystres that she coude
+fynde no wode that was drye, except onelye the pycture of olde John that
+lyeth under the bed. * * * * * * * *</p>
+
+<p class="center">
+<i>Some lines wanting.</i>
+</p>
+
+<p>and dressyd the brekfast; and so olde John <i>was brenyd; and</i> from thens
+forth yong John occupyed <i>his place</i>.</p>
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<h3><a name="Of_the_courtear_that_ete_the_hot_custarde_xcvii" id="Of_the_courtear_that_ete_the_hot_custarde_xcvii"></a>&para; <i>Of the courtear that ete the hot custarde.</i> xcvii.</h3>
+
+
+<p>&para; A certayne merchaunt and a courtear, <i>being upon a time together</i> at
+dyner hauing a hote custerd, <i>the courtear being</i> somwhat homely of
+maner toke <i>parte of it and put it</i> in hys mouth, whych was so hote that
+made him <i>shed teares. The</i> merchaunt,<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_122" id="Page_122">[Pg 122]</a></span> lokyng on him, thought that he
+had <i>ben weeping, and asked hym why</i> he wept. This curtear, not wyllynge
+[it] to be kn<i>own that he had brent his</i> mouth with the hote custerd,
+answered and said, sir: q<i>uod he, I had</i> a brother whych dyd a certayn
+offence wherfore he was hanged; <i>and, chauncing</i> to think now vppon his
+deth, it maketh me to wepe. This merchaunt thought the courtear had said
+trew, and anon after the merchaunt was disposid to ete <i>of the custerd</i>,
+and put a sponefull of it in his mouth, and brent his mouth also, that
+his <i>eyes watered</i>. This courtear, that perceuyng, spake to the
+merchaunt and seyd: sir, quod <i>he, pray</i> why do ye wepe now? The
+merchaunt perseyued how he had <i>bene deceiued</i> and said<a name="FNanchor_143_143" id="FNanchor_143_143"></a><a href="#Footnote_143_143" class="fnanchor">[143]</a>: mary, quod
+he, I wepe, because thou wast not hangid, <i>when that</i> thy brother was
+hangyd.</p>
+
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<h3><a name="Of_the_thre_pointes_belonging_to_a_shrewd_wyfe_xcix" id="Of_the_thre_pointes_belonging_to_a_shrewd_wyfe_xcix"></a>&para; <i>Of the thre pointes belonging to a shrewd wyfe.</i> xcix.</h3>
+
+
+<p>&para; A yong man, that was desirous to haue a wyf, cam to a company <i>of
+Phi</i>losofers which were gadred to gider, requiring them to gif <i>him
+their opinion</i> howe he might chose him sich a wyf that<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_123" id="Page_123">[Pg 123]</a></span> wer no shrew.
+Th<i>ese Philos</i>ofers with gret study and delyberacion determinid and
+shewd this man that there <i>were iii espe</i>cial pointes, wherebi he shuld
+sure know if a woman were a shrew. The <i>i point is</i> that if a woman have
+a shril voyce, it is a gret token that she is a shrew. The ii point is
+that, if a woman have a sharp nose, then most commenly she is a shrew.
+<i>The</i> iii point that neuer doth mis is<a name="FNanchor_144_144" id="FNanchor_144_144"></a><a href="#Footnote_144_144" class="fnanchor">[144]</a> that if she were [a]
+kerchefer,<a name="FNanchor_145_145" id="FNanchor_145_145"></a><a href="#Footnote_145_145" class="fnanchor">[145]</a> ye may be sure she is a shrew.</p>
+
+
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<h3><a name="Of_the_man_that_paynted_the_lamb_upon_his_wyfes_bely_c" id="Of_the_man_that_paynted_the_lamb_upon_his_wyfes_bely_c"></a>&para; <i>Of the man that paynted the lamb upon his wyfes bely.</i> c.</h3>
+
+
+<p>&para; A Conning painter ther was dwelling in London, which had a fayre yong
+wife, and for thingis that he had to do went ouer se; but because he was
+somwhat jelous, he praed his wyfe to be content, that he might paint a
+lamb upon her bely, and praed her it might remain ther, til he cam home<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_124" id="Page_124">[Pg 124]</a></span>
+again; wherewith she was content. After which lamb so painted he
+departid; and sone after that, a lusti yong merchaunt, a bacheler, came
+and woed his wyf, and obteined her fauor, so that she was content he
+shuld lye with her; which resortid to her and had his plesure oftymes;
+and on a time he toke a pensell, and to the lamb he painted ii hornys,
+wening to the wif that he had but refreshed the old painting. Than at
+the last, about a yere after, her husband cam home again, and the first
+night he lay with his wyfe, he loked uppon his wifes bely, and saw the
+ii hornes painted there. He said to his wif, that some other body had
+ben besy there, and made a new painting:</p>
+
+<p class="center">for the picture that he painted
+had no<br />hornes and this hath hornes; to<br />whome this wif shortly * *
+* *</p>
+
+<p class="center">
+<i>cetera desunt.</i>
+</p>
+
+<p class="center">
+<i>Here endeth the booke of a C. mery Talys. Imprinted<br />
+at London at the sygne of the meremayde<br />
+at powlys gate nexte to chepesyde.</i><br />
+<br />
+&para; <i>Cum priuelegio Regali.</i>
+<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_125" id="Page_125">[Pg 125]</a></span></p>
+
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<h2><a name="ADDITIONAL_NOTES_AND_ILLUSTRATIONS" id="ADDITIONAL_NOTES_AND_ILLUSTRATIONS"></a>ADDITIONAL NOTES AND ILLUSTRATIONS.</h2>
+
+
+<h3>A C. MERY TALYS.</h3>
+
+<p>Introduction, vi.&mdash;I might have mentioned that Taylor the Water-Poet
+cites <i>The Hundred Merry Tales</i> as one of the authorities employed by
+him in the composition of his <i>Sir Gregory Nonsense His Newes from No
+Place</i>, 1622 (Taylor's Works, 1630), and see also Epistle Dedicatory to
+Meredith's <i>Eusebius</i>, 1577.</p>
+
+<p>P. <a href='#Page_19'><b>19</b></a>.&mdash;This story is found in the <i>Ducento Novelle</i> of Celio Malespini,
+printed at Venice, 1609, 4<sup>o</sup>.</p>
+
+<p>P. <a href='#Page_22'><b>22</b></a>. <i>Of the Woman that sayd her Woer cam too late.</i></p>
+
+<p>
+<span style="margin-left: 4em;">"If thou be slow to speake, as one I knew,</span><br />
+<span style="margin-left: 4em;">Thou wouldst assure thy selfe my counsels true;</span><br />
+<span style="margin-left: 4em;">Hee (too late) finding her upon her knees</span><br />
+<span style="margin-left: 4em;">In Church, where yet her husbands coorse she sees,</span><br />
+<span style="margin-left: 4em;">Hearing the Sermon at his funerall,</span><br />
+<span style="margin-left: 4em;">Longing to behold his buriall,</span><br />
+<span style="margin-left: 4em;">This sutor being toucht with inward love,</span><br />
+<span style="margin-left: 4em;">Approached neare his lovely sute to move,</span><br />
+<span style="margin-left: 4em;">Then stooping downe he whispered in her eare</span><br />
+<span style="margin-left: 4em;">Saying he bore her love, as might appeare,</span><br />
+<span style="margin-left: 4em;">In that so soone he shewed his love unto her,</span><br />
+<span style="margin-left: 4em;">Before any else did app[r]och to woo her,</span><br />
+<span style="margin-left: 4em;">Alass (said she) your labour is in vaine,</span><br />
+<span style="margin-left: 4em;">Last night a husband I did entertaine."</span><br />
+</p>
+
+<p>&mdash;<i>Uncasing of Machivils Instructions to his Sonne</i>, 1612,
+Sign. C 3. Stories of this kind are of very common occurrence in the
+modern collections of faceti&aelig;.</p>
+
+<p>
+P. <a href='#Page_23'><b>23</b></a>. "When Davie Diker diggs, and dallies not,<br />
+<span style="margin-left: 3em;">When smithes shoo horses, as they would be shod,</span><br />
+<span style="margin-left: 3em;"><i>When millers toll not with a golden thumbe</i>."</span><br />
+</p>
+<p>
+&mdash;<i>The Steel Glas, a Satyre</i>, by George Gascoigne, Esquire (1576), Sign. H 3 verso.
+</p>
+
+<p>A writer in the <i>Retrospective Review</i>, New Series, ii. 326, states that
+this story of the "Miller with the golden thumb" "is still (1854) a
+favourite in Yorkshire."<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_126" id="Page_126">[Pg 126]</a></span></p>
+
+<p>P. <a href='#Page_30'><b>30</b></a>. <i>Stumble at a Straw, &amp;c.</i>&mdash;This proverb is quoted in <i>Machivils
+Instructions to his Sonne</i>, 1613, p. 16.</p>
+
+<p>P. <a href='#Page_35'><b>35</b></a>. <i>Of the good man that sayd to his wyfe. &amp;c.</i></p>
+
+<p>"Dr. <i>South</i>, visiting a gentleman one morning, was ask'd to stay
+Dinner, which he accepted of; the Gentleman stept into the next Room and
+told his Wife, and desired she'd provide something extraordinary.
+Hereupon she began to murmer and scold, and make a thousand Words; till
+at length, Her husband, provok'd at her Behaviour, protested, that if it
+was not for the Stranger in the next Room, he would kick her out of
+Doors. Upon which the Doctor, who heard all that passed, immediately
+stept out, crying, <i>I beg, Sir, you'll make no Stranger of me</i>."</p>
+
+<p>&mdash;<i>Complete London Jester</i>, ed. 1771, p. 73.</p>
+
+<p>P. <a href='#Page_44'><b>44</b></a>. <i>Draughthole.</i>&mdash;See Dekker's <i>Guls' Horn Book</i>, 1609, ed. Nott,
+p. 121-2-3.</p>
+
+<p>P. <a href='#Page_47'><b>47</b></a>. <i>Saynte Thomas of Acres.</i></p>
+
+<p>
+<span style="margin-left: 1em;">"A the Austen fryers</span><br />
+<span style="margin-left: 1em;">They count us for lyers:</span><br />
+<span style="margin-left: 1em;">And at Saynt Thomas of Akers</span><br />
+<span style="margin-left: 1em;">They carpe us lyke crakers."</span><br />
+<br />
+<span style="margin-left: 1em;">&mdash;Skelton's <i>Colin Clout</i> (Works, ed. Dyce, i. 357).</span><br />
+</p>
+
+<p>This tale is imitated in <i>Hobson's Conceits</i>.</p>
+
+<p>P. <a href='#Page_60'><b>60</b></a>. <i>Of the gentylman, that promysed the scoler of Oxforde a sarcenet
+typet</i>&mdash;Sarcenet, at the period to which this story refers, was a
+material which only certain persons were allowed to wear. See Nicolas'
+note to a passage in the <i>Privy Purse Expenses of Elizabeth of York</i>, p.
+220. This jest is transplanted by Johnson, with very little alteration,
+into the <i>Pleasant Conceits of Old Hobson</i>, 1607.</p>
+
+<p>P. <a href='#Page_78'><b>78</b></a>. <i>Therefore I pray thee, teche me my Pater noster, and by my
+truthe, I shall therfore teche thee a songe of Robyn Hode that shall be
+worth xx of it!</i></p>
+
+<p>The following passage from a poem, which has been sometimes ascribed to
+Skelton, is a curious illustration of this paragraph:&mdash;</p>
+
+<p>
+<span style="margin-left: 1em;">Thus these sysmatickes,</span><br />
+<span style="margin-left: 1em;">And lowsy lunatickes,</span><br />
+<span style="margin-left: 1em;">With spurres and prickes</span><br />
+<span style="margin-left: 1em;">Call true men heretickes.</span><br />
+<span style="margin-left: 1em;">They finger their fidles,</span><br />
+<span style="margin-left: 1em;">And cry in quinibles,</span><br />
+<span style="margin-left: 1em;">Away these bibles,</span><br />
+<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_127" id="Page_127">[Pg 127]</a></span><span style="margin-left: 1em;">For they be but ridles!</span><br />
+<span style="margin-left: 1em;">And give them Robyn Whode,</span><br />
+<span style="margin-left: 1em;">To red howe he stode</span><br />
+<span style="margin-left: 1em;">In mery grene wode,</span><br />
+<span style="margin-left: 1em;">When he gathered good,</span><br />
+<span style="margin-left: 1em;">Before Noyes ffloodd!</span><br />
+<br />
+<span style="margin-left: 1em;"><i>The Image of Ipocrysy</i>, Part iii.</span><br />
+</p>
+
+<p>P. <a href='#Page_84'><b>84</b></a>. <i>Of the wyfe that bad, &amp;c.</i></p>
+
+<p><i>Of swearing between a wyfe and her husband.</i></p>
+
+<p>
+<span style="margin-left: 1em;">"Cis, by this candle in my sleep I thought</span><br />
+<span style="margin-left: 1em;">One told me of thy body thou wert nought.</span><br />
+<span style="margin-left: 1em;">Good husband, he that told you ly'd, she said,</span><br />
+<span style="margin-left: 1em;">And swearing, laid her hand upon the bread.</span><br />
+<span style="margin-left: 1em;">Then eat the bread, quoth he, that I may deem</span><br />
+<span style="margin-left: 1em;">That fancie false, that true to me did seem.</span><br />
+<span style="margin-left: 1em;">Nay, sir, said she, the matter well to handle,</span><br />
+<span style="margin-left: 1em;">Since you swore first, you first shall eat the candle."</span><br />
+<br />
+<span style="margin-left: 1em;"><i>Wits Interpreter, the English Parnassus</i>, By John Cotgrave, 1662, p. 286.</span><br />
+</p>
+
+<p>P. <a href='#Page_87'><b>87</b></a>. <i>Of the man that had the dome wyfe.</i></p>
+
+<p>
+<span style="margin-left: 1em;">"A certain man, as fortune fel,</span><br />
+<span style="margin-left: 1em;">A woman tungles wedded to wive,</span><br />
+<span style="margin-left: 1em;">Whose frowning countenance perceivig by live</span><br />
+<span style="margin-left: 1em;">Til he might know what she ment he thought long,</span><br />
+<span style="margin-left: 1em;">And wished ful oft she had a tung.</span><br />
+<span style="margin-left: 1em;">The devil was redy, and appeered anon,</span><br />
+<span style="margin-left: 1em;">An aspin lefe he bid the man take,</span><br />
+<span style="margin-left: 1em;">And in her mouth should put but one,</span><br />
+<span style="margin-left: 1em;">A tung, said the devil, it shall her make;</span><br />
+<span style="margin-left: 1em;">Til he had doon his hed did ake;</span><br />
+<span style="margin-left: 1em;">Leaves he gathered, and took plentie,</span><br />
+<span style="margin-left: 1em;">And in her mouth put two or three.</span><br />
+<span style="margin-left: 1em;">Within a while the medicine wrought:</span><br />
+<span style="margin-left: 1em;">The man could tarry no longer time,</span><br />
+<span style="margin-left: 1em;">But wakened her, to the end he mought</span><br />
+<span style="margin-left: 1em;">The vertue knowe of the medicine;</span><br />
+<span style="margin-left: 1em;">The first woord she spake to him</span><br />
+<span style="margin-left: 1em;">She said: 'thou whoresonne knave and theef,</span><br />
+<span style="margin-left: 1em;">How durst thou waken me, with a mischeef!'</span><br />
+<span style="margin-left: 2em;">From that day forward she never ceased.</span><br />
+<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_128" id="Page_128">[Pg 128]</a></span><span style="margin-left: 1em;">Her boistrous bable greeved him sore:</span><br />
+<span style="margin-left: 1em;">The devil he met, and him entreated</span><br />
+<span style="margin-left: 1em;">To make her tungles, as she was before;</span><br />
+<span style="margin-left: 1em;">'Not so,' said the devil, 'I will meddle no more.</span><br />
+<span style="margin-left: 1em;">A devil a woman to speak may constrain,</span><br />
+<span style="margin-left: 1em;">But all that in hel be, cannot let it again.'"</span><br />
+<br />
+<span style="margin-left: 1em;"><i>Schole-house of Women</i>, 1542 (Utterson's <i>Select Pieces of Early Popular Poetry</i>, ii. 74).</span><br />
+</p>
+
+<p>P. <a href='#Page_89'><b>89</b></a>. <i>Of the Proctour of Arches that had the lytel wyfe.</i></p>
+
+<p>"One ask'd his Friend, why he, so proper a Man himself, marry'd so small
+a Wyfe? <i>Why</i>, said he, <i>I thought you had known, that of all evils we
+should chuse the least</i>."&mdash;<i>Complete London Jester</i>, ed. 1771, p. 65.</p>
+
+<p>P. <a href='#Page_92'><b>92</b></a>. <i>Of him that wolde gette, &amp;c.</i></p>
+
+<p>In the <i>Scholehouse of Women</i>, 1542, the same story is differently
+related:&mdash;</p>
+
+<p>
+<span style="margin-left: 1em;">"A husband man, having good trust</span><br />
+<span style="margin-left: 1em;">His wife to him bad be agreeable,</span><br />
+<span style="margin-left: 1em;">Thought to attempt if she had be reformable,</span><br />
+<span style="margin-left: 1em;">Bad her take the pot, that sod over the fire,</span><br />
+<span style="margin-left: 1em;">And set it aboove upon the astire.</span><br />
+<span style="margin-left: 2em;">She answered him: 'I hold thee mad,</span><br />
+<span style="margin-left: 1em;">And I more fool, by Saint Martine;</span><br />
+<span style="margin-left: 1em;">Thy dinner is redy, as thou me bad,</span><br />
+<span style="margin-left: 1em;">And time it were that thou shouldst dine,</span><br />
+<span style="margin-left: 1em;">And thou wilt not, I will go to mine.'</span><br />
+<span style="margin-left: 1em;">'I bid thee (said he) vere up the pot.'</span><br />
+<span style="margin-left: 1em;">'A ha! (she said) I trow thou dote,'</span><br />
+<span style="margin-left: 2em;">Up she goeth for fear, at last,</span><br />
+<span style="margin-left: 1em;">No question mooved where it should stand</span><br />
+<span style="margin-left: 1em;">Upon his hed the pottage she cast,</span><br />
+<span style="margin-left: 1em;">And heeld the pot stil in her hand.</span><br />
+<span style="margin-left: 1em;">Said and swore, he might her trust,</span><br />
+<span style="margin-left: 1em;">She would with the pottage do what her lust."</span><br />
+</p>
+
+<p>As this story in the <i>C. Mery Talys</i> is defective in consequence of the
+mutilation of the only known copy, the foregoing extract becomes
+valuable, as it exhibits what was probably the sequel in the prose
+version, from which the author of the <i>Scholehouse of Women</i> was no
+doubt a borrower.</p>
+
+<p>P. <a href='#Page_101'><b>101</b></a>. <i>If a thousande soules may dance on a mannes nayle.</i>&mdash;This is a
+different form of the common saying that a thousand angels can stand<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_129" id="Page_129">[Pg 129]</a></span> on
+the point of the needle. "One querying another, whether a thousand
+angels might stand on the point of a needle, another replied, 'That was
+a <i>needles</i> point.'"&mdash;Ward's <i>Diary</i>, ed. 1839, p. 94.</p>
+
+
+<p>P. <a href='#Page_106'><b>106</b></a>. Scot, in his <i>Discovery of Witchcraft</i>, 1584, ed. 1651, p. 191,
+has a story, which bears the mark of being the same as the one here
+entitled "Of the parson that stale the mylner's elys." The passage in
+Scot, which may help to supply the unfortunate <i>lacuna</i> in the <i>C. Mery
+Talys</i>, is as follows:&mdash;</p>
+
+<p>"So it was, that a certain Sir John, with some of his company, once went
+abroad jetting, and in a moon-light evening, robbed a miller's weire and
+stole all his eeles. The poor miller made his mone to Sir John himself,
+who willed him to be quiet; for he would so curse the theef, and
+all his confederates, with bell, book, and candel, that they should have
+small joy of their fish. And therefore the next Sunday, Sir John got him
+to the pulpit, with his surplisse on his back, and his stole about his
+neck, and pronounced these words following in the audience of the
+people:&mdash;</p>
+
+<p>
+<span style="margin-left: 1em;">'All you that have stolne the millers eeles,</span><br />
+<span style="margin-left: 2em;"><i>Laudate Dominum de coelis</i>,</span><br />
+<span style="margin-left: 1em;">And all they that have consented thereto,</span><br />
+<span style="margin-left: 2em;"><i>Benedicamus Domino</i>.'</span><br />
+</p>
+
+<p>Lo (saith he), there is savoe for your eeles, my masters."</p>
+
+
+<p>P. <a href='#Page_108'><b>108</b></a>. <i>Of the parson that sayde masse of requiem, &amp;c.</i>&mdash;This story is
+also in <i>Scoggin's Jests</i>, 1626, and perhaps the lacun&aelig; may be supplied
+from that source. Thus (the words supplied from <i>Scoggin's Jests</i> are in
+italics):&mdash;</p>
+
+<p>"Then quod the prest: tel thy mayster that he must <i>say the Masse which
+doth begin with a great R</i>. [when the boy returned, the Prest asked him
+whether the Parson had told him what] masse, &amp;c."</p>
+
+<p>And again, a line or two lower down, there can be no doubt, on a
+comparison of Scoggin's Jests, p. 74, what the missing words are. We
+ought to read:&mdash;"but he had me tell you it began <i>with a great R</i>."</p>
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_ii1" id="Page_ii1">[Pg 1]</a></span><br /></p>
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_ii2" id="Page_ii2">[Pg 2]</a></span><br /></p>
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_ii3" id="Page_ii3">[Pg 3]</a></span><br /></p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 356px;">
+<img src="images/144.jpg" width="356" height="505" alt="" title="Johannes Ractell" />
+</div>
+<hr style="width: 35%;" />
+<h2>
+
+  &para; Tales, and quicke<br />
+
+  answers, very mery,<br />
+
+  and pleasant to<br />
+rede.</h2>
+
+
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_ii4" id="Page_ii4">[Pg 4]</a></span><br /><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_ii5" id="Page_ii5">[Pg 5]</a></span></p>
+<hr style="width: 35%;" />
+  <h2><i>Mery</i><br />
+
+  Tales, Wittie</h2>
+
+  <h3><i>Questions</i></h3>
+
+  <h3>and Quicke Answeres,</h3>
+
+  <h4>Very pleasant to<br />
+  be Readde.</h4>
+
+
+  <p class="center">IMPRINTED<br />
+
+  <i>at London<br />
+
+  in Fleete strete, by</i><br />
+
+  H. Wykes.<br />
+
+  1567.</p>
+
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_ii6" id="Page_ii6">[Pg 6]</a></span><br /><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_ii7" id="Page_ii7">[Pg 7]</a></span></p>
+
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<h2>The Table.</h2>
+
+
+
+
+
+<div class='centered'>
+<table border="0" cellpadding="2" width="80%" cellspacing="0" summary="CONTENTS2">
+<tr><td>&nbsp;</td><td align="right">PAGE</td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'>&para; <i>Of hym that rode out of London, and had his seruaunt folowynge hym on foote.</i> i.</td><td align='right'><a href='#Page_ii15'>15</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'>&para; <i>Of hym that preached on saynte Christofers day.</i> ii.</td><td align='right'><a href='#Page_ii16'>16</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'>&para; <i>Of the frenche man that stroue with the Fanwaye for his armes.</i> iii.</td><td align='right'><a href='#Page_ii16'><i>ib.</i></a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'>&para; <i>Of the curate that sayde our lorde fedde fyue hundred persones.</i> iiii.</td><td align='right'><a href='#Page_ii17'>17</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'>&para; <i>Of hym that profered his doughter to one in maryage.</i> v.</td><td align='right'><a href='#Page_ii18'>18</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'>&para; <i>Of the men of the countrey, that came to London to bye a crucifixe of wodde.</i> vi.</td><td align='right'><a href='#Page_ii18'><i>ib.</i></a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'>&para; <i>Of hym that folowed his wyfe to buryeng.</i> vii.</td><td align='right'><a href='#Page_ii19'>19</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'>&para; <i>Of hym that felle in to the fyre.</i> viii.</td><td align='right'><a href='#Page_ii19'><i>ib.</i></a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'>&para; <i>Of hym that used to calle his seruaunte the kynge of fooles.</i> ix.</td><td align='right'><a href='#Page_ii20'>20</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'>&para; <i>Of the yonge woman, that sorowed so greatly the deathe of her husbande.</i> x.</td><td align='right'><a href='#Page_ii21'>21</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'>&para; <i>Of hym that kyssed the fayre mayde with the longe nose.</i> xi.</td><td align='right'><a href='#Page_ii21'><i>ib.</i></a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'>&para; <i>Of the uplandysshe mans answere concernyng the steple and pulpytte.</i> xii.</td><td align='right'><a href='#Page_ii23'>23</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'>&para; <i>Of the beggers aunswere to mayster Skelton the poete.</i> xiii.</td><td align='right'><a href='#Page_ii23'><i>ib.</i></a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'>&para; <i>Of the chaplen that sayde our ladye mattens lyenge in his bedde.</i> xiiii.</td><td align='right'><a href='#Page_ii24'>24</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'>&para; <i>Of hym that loste his purse in London.</i> xv.</td><td align='right'><a href='#Page_ii25'>25</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'>&para; <i>Of the marchaunt that loste his boudget betwene ware and London.</i> xvi.</td><td align='right'><a href='#Page_ii26'>26</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'>&para; <i>Of him that was called kockold.</i> xvii.</td><td align='right'><a href='#Page_ii27'>27</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'>&para; <i>Of the iolus man.</i> xviii.</td><td align='right'><a href='#Page_ii28'>28</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'>&para; <i>Of the fat woman that sat and solde frute.</i> xix.</td><td align='right'><a href='#Page_ii28'><i>ib.</i></a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'>&para; <i>Of a poller that begyled a preste.</i> xx.</td><td align='right'><a href='#Page_ii29'>29</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'>&para; <i>Of Papirius pretextatus.</i> xxi.</td><td align='right'><a href='#Page_ii31'>31</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'>&para; <i>Of the corrupte man of lawe.</i> xxii.</td><td align='right'><a href='#Page_ii33'>33</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'>&para; <i>Of kynge Lowes of Fraunce and the husbandman Conon.</i> xxiii.</td><td align='right'><a href='#Page_ii34'>34</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'>&para; <i>Of a picke thanke, that thought to begyle the same moste prudent kynge.</i> xxiiii.</td><td align='right'><a href='#Page_ii37'>37</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'>&para; <i>Of Thales the great astronomer, the whiche felle in to a ditche.</i> xxv.</td><td align='right'><a href='#Page_ii38'>38</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'>&para; <i>Of the astronomer that theues robbed.</i> xxvi.</td><td align='right'><a href='#Page_ii39'>39</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'>&para; <i>Of the plough man that wolde saye his paternoster with a stedfast mynde.</i> xxvii.</td><td align='right'><a href='#Page_ii39'><i>ib.</i></a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'>&para; <i>Of him that dreamed he founde golde.</i> xxviii.</td><td align='right'><a href='#Page_ii40'>40</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'>&para; <i>Of the crakynge yonge gentyll man that wolde ouerthrowe his enemys a myle of.</i> xxix.</td><td align='right'><a href='#Page_ii42'>42</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'>&para; <i>Of him that fell of a tre and brake a rybbe in his syde.</i> xxx.</td><td align='right'><a href='#Page_ii44'>44</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'>&para; <i>Of the fryer that brayed in his sermon.</i> xxxi.</td><td align='right'><a href='#Page_ii45'>45</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'>&para; <i>The oration of th ambassadour that was sent to Pope Urban.</i> xxxii.</td><td align='right'><a href='#Page_ii46'>46</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'>&para; <i>Of the ambassadour that was sent to the prince Agis.</i> xxxiii.</td><td align='right'><a href='#Page_ii47'>47</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'>&para; <i>The answere of Cleomenes to the Samiens ambassadour.</i> xxxiiii.</td><td align='right'><a href='#Page_ii47'><i>ib.</i></a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'>&para; <i>Of the wyse man Piso, and his seruant.</i> xxxv.</td><td align='right'><a href='#Page_ii48'>48</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'>&para; <i>Of the marchant that made a wager with his lorde.</i> xxxvi.</td><td align='right'><a href='#Page_ii49'>49</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'>&para; <i>Of the scrowes that the frier gaue out against the pestilence.</i> xxxvii.</td><td align='right'><a href='#Page_ii51'>51</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'>&para; <i>Of the physition that used to wryte bylles ouer nyght called resceytes.</i> xxxviii.</td><td align='right'><a href='#Page_ii52'>52</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'>&para; <i>Of him that wolde confesse him by a lybell in wrytynge.</i> xxxix.</td><td align='right'><a href='#Page_ii53'>53</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'>&para; <i>Of the hermite of Padowe.</i> xl.</td><td align='right'><a href='#Page_ii54'>54</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'>&para; <i>Of the uplandissh man that saw the kyng.</i> xli.</td><td align='right'><a href='#Page_ii56'>56</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'>&para; <i>Of the courtier that bade the boye to holde his horse.</i> xlii.</td><td align='right'><a href='#Page_ii57'>57</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'>&para; <i>Of the deceytfull scriuener.</i> xliii.</td><td align='right'><a href='#Page_ii57'><i>ib.</i></a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'>&para; <i>Of him that sayde he beleved his wyfe better than other, that she was chaste.</i> xliiii.</td><td align='right'><a href='#Page_ii59'>59</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'>&para; <i>Of him that paid his det with cryeng bea.</i> xlv.</td><td align='right'><a href='#Page_ii60'>60</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'>&para; <i>Of the woman that appeled from kynge Philip to kynge Philip.</i> xlvi.</td><td align='right'><a href='#Page_ii62'>62</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'>&para; <i>Of the olde woman that prayd for the welfare of the tyran Denyse.</i> xlvii.</td><td align='right'><a href='#Page_ii63'>63</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'>&para; <i>Of the phisitian Eumonus.</i> xlviii.</td><td align='right'><a href='#Page_ii64'>64</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'>&para; <i>Of Socrates and his scoldynge wyfe.</i> xlix.</td><td align='right'><a href='#Page_ii65'>65</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'>&para; <i>Of the phisitian that bare his pacient on hand he had eaten an asse.</i> l.</td><td align='right'><a href='#Page_ii65'><i>ib.</i></a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'>&para; <i>Of the inholders wyfe, and her ii louers.</i> li.</td><td align='right'><a href='#Page_ii67'>67</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'>&para; <i>Of hym that healed franticke men.</i> lii.</td><td align='right'><a href='#Page_ii68'>68</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'>&para; <i>Of hym that sayd he was nat worthy to open the gate to the kynge.</i> liii.</td><td align='right'><a href='#Page_ii70'>70</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'>&para; <i>Of Mayster Uauasour and Turpyn his manne.</i> liiii.</td><td align='right'><a href='#Page_ii70'><i>ib.</i></a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'>&para; <i>Of hym that sought his wyfe, that was drowned, agaynst the streme.</i> lv.</td><td align='right'><a href='#Page_ii72'>72</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'>&para; <i>Of hym that at a skyrmyssh defended hym valiauntly with his feete.</i> lvi.</td><td align='right'><a href='#Page_ii73'>73</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'>&para; <i>Of hym that wolde gyue a songe to the tauerner for his dyner.</i> lvii.</td><td align='right'><a href='#Page_ii74'>74</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'>&para; <i>Of the foole that thought him selfe deed, whan he was a lyue.</i> lviii.</td><td align='right'><a href='#Page_ii75'>75</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'>&para; <i>Of the olde man and his sonne that brought his asse to the towne to sylle.</i> lix.</td><td align='right'><a href='#Page_ii78'>78</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'>&para; <i>Of him that sought his asse, and rode upon his backe.</i> lx.</td><td align='right'><a href='#Page_ii80'>80</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'>&para; <i>The answere of Fabius to Liuius.</i> lxi.</td><td align='right'><a href='#Page_ii81'>81</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'>&para; <i>The answere of Poltis the kynge of Trace to the Troyan ambassadours.</i> lxii.</td><td align='right'><a href='#Page_ii82'>82</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'>&para; <i>The wyse answere of Haniball to kynge Antiochus concerninge his ryche army.</i> lxiii.</td><td align='right'><a href='#Page_ii83'>83</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'>&para; <i>The wordes of Popilius the Romayn ambassadour to Antiochus the kynge.</i> lxiiii.</td><td align='right'><a href='#Page_ii83'><i>ib.</i></a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'>&para; <i>Of hym that loued the marchantes wyfe.</i> lxv.</td><td align='right'><a href='#Page_ii84'>84</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'>&para; <i>Of the woman that couered her heed, and shewed up her tayle.</i> lxvi.</td><td align='right'><a href='#Page_ii86'>86</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'>&para; <i>How Alexander was monisshed to slee the firste that he mette. lxvii.</i></td><td align='right'><a href='#Page_ii86'><i>ib.</i></a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'>&para; <i>How the aunciente cyte of Lamsac was saued from destruction.</i> lxviii.</td><td align='right'><a href='#Page_ii87'>87</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'>&para; <i>Howe Demosthenes defended a mayde.</i> lxix.</td><td align='right'><a href='#Page_ii88'>88</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'>&para; <i>Of him that desyred to be a gentylman.</i> lxx.</td><td align='right'><a href='#Page_ii89'>89</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'>&para; <i>Of the gentyllman and his shrewd wife.</i> lxxi.</td><td align='right'><a href='#Page_ii90'>90</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'>&para; <i>Of the two yonge men that rode to Walsyngham to gether.</i> lxxii.</td><td align='right'><a href='#Page_ii91'>91</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'>&para; <i>Of the yong man of Brugis and his spouse.</i> lxxiii.</td><td align='right'><a href='#Page_ii92'>92</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'>&para; <i>Of him that made as he hadde ben a chaste lyuer.</i> lxxiiii.</td><td align='right'><a href='#Page_ii93'>93</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'>&para; <i>Of him that the olde roode fell on.</i> lxxv.</td><td align='right'><a href='#Page_ii94'>94</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'>&para; <i>Of the wydowe that wolde not wedde for bodily pleasure.</i> lxxvi.</td><td align='right'><a href='#Page_ii95'>95</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'>&para; <i>Of the couetous ambassadour, that wolde here no musike for sparinge of his purse.</i> lxxvii.</td><td align='right'><a href='#Page_ii95'><i>ib.</i></a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'>&para; <i>Howe Denyse the tyran of Syracuse serued a couetouse man.</i> lxxix.</td><td align='right'><a href='#Page_ii97'>97</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'>&para; <i>Of the old man that quyngered the boy oute of the aple tre with stones.</i> lxxx.</td><td align='right'><a href='#Page_ii98'>98</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'>&para; <i>Of the ryche man that was sycke and wolde not receyue a glyster.</i> lxxxi.</td><td align='right'><a href='#Page_ii99'>99</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'>&para; <i>Of him that feyned him selfe deed, to proue what his wyfe wolde do.</i> lxxxii.</td><td align='right'><a href='#Page_ii99'><i>ib.</i></a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'>&para; <i>Of the poure man, in to whose house theues brake by nyght.</i> lxxxiii.</td><td align='right'><a href='#Page_ii101'>101</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'>&para; <i>Of him that shulde haue ben hanged for his scoffinge and his iestynge.</i> lxxxiiii.</td><td align='right'><a href='#Page_ii101'><i>ib.</i></a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'>&para; <i>Of him that had his goose stole.</i> lxxxv.</td><td align='right'><a href='#Page_ii102'>102</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'>&para; <i>Of the begger that sayde he was of kynne to kynge Phylip of Macedone.</i> lxxxvi.</td><td align='right'><a href='#Page_ii103'>103</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'>&para; <i>Of Dantes answere to the iester.</i> lxxxvii.</td><td align='right'><a href='#Page_ii103'><i>ib.</i></a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'>&para; <i>Of hym that had sore eies.</i> lxxxviii.</td><td align='right'><a href='#Page_ii104'>104</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'>&para; <i>Of the olde woman that had sore eies.</i> lxxxix.</td><td align='right'><a href='#Page_ii105'>105</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'>&para; <i>Of hym that had the custody of a warde.</i> xc.</td><td align='right'><a href='#Page_ii106'>106</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'>&para; <i>Of the excellente peynter, that hadde foule chyldren.</i> xci.</td><td align='right'><a href='#Page_ii106'><i>ib.</i></a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'>&para; <i>Of the scoffer that made one a southsayer.</i> xcii.</td><td align='right'><a href='#Page_ii107'>107</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'>&para; <i>Of the marchant of Florence, Charles.</i> xciii.</td><td align='right'><a href='#Page_ii107'><i>ib.</i></a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'>&para; <i>Of the chesshire man called Eulyn.</i> xciiii.</td><td align='right'><a href='#Page_ii108'>108</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'>&para; <i>Of hym that desyred to be sette vpon the pyllorye.</i> xcv.</td><td align='right'><a href='#Page_ii109'>109</a></td></tr>
+
+
+
+
+
+<tr><td align='left'>&para; <i>Of the wydowes daughter, that was sente to the abbot with a couple of capons.</i> xcvi.</td><td align='right'><a href='#Page_ii111'>111</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'>&para; <i>Of the two men that dranke a pynte of whyte wyne to gether.</i> xcvii.</td><td align='right'><a href='#Page_ii112'>112</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'>&para; <i>Of the doctour that desyred to go with a fouler to catche byrdes.</i> xcviii.</td><td align='right'><a href='#Page_ii114'>114</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'>&para; <i>Of hym that undertoke to teache an asse to spelle and rede.</i> xcix.</td><td align='right'><a href='#Page_ii115'>115</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'>&para; <i>Of the fryer that confessed the fayre woman.</i> c.</td><td align='right'><a href='#Page_ii116'>116</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'>&para; <i>Of the chapplen of Louen called syr Antonye that deceyued an vserer.</i> ci.</td><td align='right'><a href='#Page_ii118'>118</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'>&para; <i>Of the same chaplen and his spiter.</i> cii.</td><td align='right'><a href='#Page_ii119'>119</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'>&para; <i>Of the olde manne that putte hym selfe in his sonnes handes.</i> ciii.</td><td align='right'><a href='#Page_ii121'>121</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'>&para; <i>Of hym that had a flye peynted in his shilde.</i> ciiii.</td><td align='right'><a href='#Page_ii122'>122</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'>&para; <i>Of the emperour Augustus and the olde men.</i> cv.</td><td align='right'><a href='#Page_ii123'>123</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'>&para; <i>Of Phocions oration to the Atheniens.</i> cvi.</td><td align='right'><a href='#Page_ii123'><i>ib.</i></a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'>&para; <i>Of Demosthenes and Phocion.</i> cvii.</td><td align='right'><a href='#Page_ii124'>124</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'>&para; <i>Of the aunswere of Phocion to them that brought hym a great gyfte from Alexander.</i> cviii.</td><td align='right'><a href='#Page_ii124'><i>ib.</i></a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'>&para; <i>Of Denyse the tyran and his sonne.</i> cix.</td><td align='right'><a href='#Page_ii125'>125</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'>&para; <i>Of Pomponius the Romayne that was taken and brought before Mithridates.</i> cx.</td><td align='right'><a href='#Page_ii125'><i>ib.</i></a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'>&para; <i>Of Titus and the scoffer.</i> cxi.</td><td align='right'><a href='#Page_ii126'>126</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'>&para; <i>Of Scipio Nasica, and Ennius the poete.</i> cxii.</td><td align='right'><a href='#Page_ii126'><i>ib.</i></a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'>&para; <i>Of Fabius Minutius and his sonne.</i> cxiii.</td><td align='right'><a href='#Page_ii127'>127</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'>&para; <i>Of Aurelian the emperour, that was displeased, bycause the citie Tyana was closed agaynste him.</i> cxiiii.</td><td align='right'><a href='#Page_ii128'>128</a></td></tr>
+
+<tr><td align='left'>&para; <i>Of the Nunne forced that durst not crie.</i> cxv.</td><td align='right'><a href='#Page_ii129'>129</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'>&para; <i>Of him that sayde he was the Diuelles man.</i> cxvi.</td><td align='right'><a href='#Page_ii129'><i>ib.</i></a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'>&para; <i>Of the vplandishe priest, that preached of Charitie.</i> cxvii.</td><td align='right'><a href='#Page_ii130'>130</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'>&para; <i>An other sayinge of the same preest.</i> cxviii.</td><td align='right'><a href='#Page_ii131'>131</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'>&para; <i>Of the fryer that praysed sainct Frauncis.</i> cxix.</td><td align='right'><a href='#Page_ii133'>133</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'>&para; <i>Of hym that warned his wife of wasshynge her face in foule puddell water.</i> cxx.</td><td align='right'><a href='#Page_ii133'><i>ib.</i></a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'>&para; <i>Of the husband man that caused his iudge to geue sentence agaynst him selfe.</i> cxxi.</td><td align='right'><a href='#Page_ii134'>134</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'>&para; <i>Of the Italian frier that shoulde preach before the B. of Rome and his cardinals.</i> cxxii.</td><td align='right'><a href='#Page_ii134'><i>ib.</i></a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'>&para; <i>Of the doctour that sayd, in Erasmus workes were heresies.</i> cxxiii.</td><td align='right'><a href='#Page_ii136'>136</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'>&para; <i>Of the frier that preached at Paules crosse agaynst Erasmus.</i> cxxiiii.</td><td align='right'><a href='#Page_ii137'>137</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'>&para; <i>Of an other frier that taxed Erasmus for writyng Germana theologia.</i> cxxv.</td><td align='right'><a href='#Page_ii138'>138</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'>&para; <i>Of an other that inueighed agaynst the same Erasmus.</i> cxxvi.</td><td align='right'><a href='#Page_ii138'><i>ib.</i></a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'>&para; <i>Of kyng Richarde the iii. and the Northern man.</i> cxxvii.</td><td align='right'><a href='#Page_ii139'>139</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'>&para; <i>Of the Canon and his man.</i> cxxviii.</td><td align='right'><a href='#Page_ii140'>140</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'>&para; <i>Of the same Canon and his sayd man.</i> cxxix.</td><td align='right'><a href='#Page_ii140'><i>ib.</i></a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'>&para; <i>Of the gentilman that checked hys seruant for talke of ryngyng.</i> cxxx.</td><td align='right'><a href='#Page_141'>141</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'>&para; <i>Of the blynde man and his boye.</i> cxxxi.</td><td align='right'><a href='#Page_142'>142</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'>&para; <i>Of him that sold two lodes of hey.</i> cxxxii.</td><td align='right'><a href='#Page_142'><i>ib.</i></a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'>&para; <i>How a mery man deuised to cal people to a playe.</i> cxxxiii.</td><td align='right'><a href='#Page_145'>145</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'>&para; <i>How the image of the dyuell was lost and sought.</i> cxxxiiii.</td><td align='right'><a href='#Page_148'>148</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'>&para; <i>Of Tachas, kyng of Aegypt, and Agesilaus.</i> cxxxv.</td><td align='right'><a href='#Page_149'>149</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'>&para; <i>Of Corar the Rhetorician, and Tisias hys scoler.</i> cxxxvi.</td><td align='right'><a href='#Page_150'>150</a></td></tr>
+
+<tr><td align='left'>&para; <i>Of Augustus and Athenodorus the Phylosopher.</i> cxxxvii.</td><td align='right'><a href='#Page_151'>151</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'>&para; <i>Of the frenche kyng and the brome seller.</i> cxxxviii.</td><td align='right'><a href='#Page_152'>152</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'>&para; <i>An other tale of the same frenche kyng.</i> cxxxix.</td><td align='right'><a href='#Page_153'>153</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'>&para; <i>What an Italyan fryer dyd in his preaching.</i> cxl.</td><td align='right'><a href='#Page_155'>155</a></td></tr>
+</table></div>
+
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_ii15" id="Page_ii15">[Pg 15]</a></span></p>
+
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<h3><a name="TALES" id="TALES"></a>TALES<br />
+
+AND<br />
+
+QUICKE ANSWERES.</h3>
+
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<h3><a name="Of_hym_that_rode_out_of_London_and_had_his_seruaunt_folowynge_on" id="Of_hym_that_rode_out_of_London_and_had_his_seruaunt_folowynge_on"></a>&para; <i>Of hym that rode out of London and had his seruaunt folowynge on foote.</i> i.</h3>
+
+
+
+<p>&para; There was a manne on a tyme that rode v myle out of London, and had
+his seruaunt folowyng after hym on fote, the whiche came so nere, that
+the horse strake hym a great stroke vpon the thye. The seruaunte,
+thynkynge to be reuenged, toke and threwe a great stone at the horse,
+and hytte his mayster on the raynes of the backe, who thought it had
+bene his horse. He within a whyle loked backe and chydde his seruaunte,
+bycause he came haltynge so farre behynde. The seruaunt aunswered: Sir,
+your horse hath gyuen me suche a stroke vpon my thygh, that I can go no
+faster. Trewely, sayde his mayster, the horse is a great<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_ii16" id="Page_ii16">[Pg 16]</a></span> kyckar, for
+lyke-wyse with his hele right nowe<a name="FNanchor_146_146" id="FNanchor_146_146"></a><a href="#Footnote_146_146" class="fnanchor">[146]</a> he gaue me a great stroke vpon
+the raynes of my backe.</p>
+
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<h3><a name="Of_hym_that_preched_on_saynt_Chrystophers_day_ii" id="Of_hym_that_preched_on_saynt_Chrystophers_day_ii"></a>&para; <i>Of hym that preched on saynt Chrystophers day.</i> ii.</h3>
+
+
+<p>&para; A fryere that preached vpon a saynt Christofers daye, greatly laudynge
+saynte Christopher, sayde: what a prerogatyue hadde he here in erthe in
+his armes to beare our Sauioure! was there euer any lyke hym in grace? A
+homely blount felowe, heryng hym aske twyse or thryse that question so
+ernestly, answered: yes, mary: the asse that bare both hym and his
+mother.</p>
+
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<h3><a name="Of_the_frenche_man_that_stroue_with_the_Janway_for_his_armes_iii" id="Of_the_frenche_man_that_stroue_with_the_Janway_for_his_armes_iii"></a>&para; <i>Of the frenche man, that stroue with the Janway for his armes.</i> iii.</h3>
+
+
+<p>&para; There was one amonge the Janwayes<a name="FNanchor_147_147" id="FNanchor_147_147"></a><a href="#Footnote_147_147" class="fnanchor">[147]</a> that the Frenche kyng had hyred
+to make warre agaynst the Englysshe men, which bare an oxe heed paynted
+in his shelde: the whiche shelde a noble man of France challenged: and
+so longe they stroue, that they must needs fyght for it. So, at a day
+and place appoynted, the frenche gallaunt came into<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_ii17" id="Page_ii17">[Pg 17]</a></span> the felde, rychely
+armed at all peces.<a name="FNanchor_148_148" id="FNanchor_148_148"></a><a href="#Footnote_148_148" class="fnanchor">[148]</a> The Janway all vnarmed came also in to the
+felde, and said to the frenche man: wherfore shall we this day fyght?
+Mary, sayd the frenche man, I wyll make good with my body, that these
+armes were myne auncetours' before thyne. What were your auncetours'
+armes, quod the Janwaye? An oxe heed, sayd the frenche man. Than, sayde
+the Janwaye, here needeth no batayle: for this that I beare is a cowes
+heed.</p>
+
+<p>By thys tale ye perceyue howe nycely the vayne braggynge of the frenche
+man was deryded.</p>
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<h3><a name="Of_the_curate_that_sayde_our_Lorde_fedde_U_C_persons_iiii" id="Of_the_curate_that_sayde_our_Lorde_fedde_U_C_persons_iiii"></a>&para; <i>Of the curate that sayde our Lorde fedde U. C. persons.</i> iiii.</h3>
+
+
+<p>&para; A certayne curate, preachynge on a tyme to his parysshens sayde, that
+our Lorde with fyue loues fedde v hundred persones. The clerke, herynge
+hym fayle,<a name="FNanchor_149_149" id="FNanchor_149_149"></a><a href="#Footnote_149_149" class="fnanchor">[149]</a> sayde softely in his eare: Sir, ye erre; the gospell is
+v. thousande. Holde thy peace, foole, said the curate; they wyll scantly
+beleue, that they were fyue hundred.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_ii18" id="Page_ii18">[Pg 18]</a></span></p>
+
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<h3><a name="Of_hym_that_profered_his_doughter_in_mariage_v" id="Of_hym_that_profered_his_doughter_in_mariage_v"></a>&para; <i>Of hym that profered his doughter in mariage.</i> v.</h3>
+
+
+<p>&para; There was a man vpon a tyme, whiche profered his doughter to a yonge
+man in mariage, the which yonge manne refused her, sayenge, that she was
+to yonge to be maryed. I wys, quod her foolysshe father, she is more
+able than ye wene. For she hath borne iii. children by our parysshe
+cleeke.</p>
+
+<p>Lo, by this tale ye se, that foles can nat telle what and whan to
+speake: therfore it were best for them to kepe alway silence.</p>
+
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<h3><a name="Of_them_that_came_to_London_to_bye_a_Crucifixe_vi" id="Of_them_that_came_to_London_to_bye_a_Crucifixe_vi"></a>&para; <i>Of them that came to London to bye a Crucifixe.</i> vi.</h3>
+
+
+<p>&para; There were certayne men vpon a tyme sent out of a village to London to
+bye a Crucifixe of wodde. The Caruer that they came to, seynge and
+herynge by theyr wordes, that they were but folysshe blount felowes,
+asked them, whether they wolde haue the ymage a lyue or elles deade;
+whiche question so abasshed them, that they went a syde to deuyse
+whether<a name="FNanchor_150_150" id="FNanchor_150_150"></a><a href="#Footnote_150_150" class="fnanchor">[150]</a> was beste. So whan they had spoken priuely to gether, they
+came to the caruer<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_ii19" id="Page_ii19">[Pg 19]</a></span> agayne and said they wold haue the image a lyue:
+for, if theyr neighbours at home where nat so contente, they myghte
+lyghtly<a name="FNanchor_151_151" id="FNanchor_151_151"></a><a href="#Footnote_151_151" class="fnanchor">[151]</a> kylle hym.</p>
+
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<h3><a name="Of_hym_that_folowed_his_wyfe_to_buryenge_vii" id="Of_hym_that_folowed_his_wyfe_to_buryenge_vii"></a>&para; <i>Of hym that folowed his wyfe to buryenge.</i> vii.</h3>
+
+
+<p>&para; A man, that wepynge folowed his wyfe to buryenge, rebuked his lyttel
+sonne, that wente with hym, because he sange, sayenge that he was
+peuysshe and madde to synge at his mothers buryenge, but he shulde
+rather be sory and wepe. The chylde answered: father, seynge ye gyue to
+these prestes money to synge at my mothers buryenge, why be ye angry
+with me, that aske you nothynge for my syngynge? His father aunswered:
+the preestes offyce and thyne is nat all one.</p>
+
+<p>By thys tale ye may perceyue that all thynges beseme nat euery body.</p>
+
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<h3><a name="Of_hym_that_felle_into_the_fyre_viii" id="Of_hym_that_felle_into_the_fyre_viii"></a>&para; <i>Of hym that felle into the fyre.</i> viii.</h3>
+
+
+<p>&para; A felowe, that was frowarde to his wyfe, vsed to be oute drynkynge
+many tymes verye late. So on a nyghte he taryed so longe oute, that his
+wyfe wente to bedde, and badde her mayde make a<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_ii20" id="Page_ii20">[Pg 20]</a></span> good fyre, and tarye vp
+for hym. About xij. of the clocke home he came, and as he stode warmynge
+him by the fyre his heed was so tottye,<a name="FNanchor_152_152" id="FNanchor_152_152"></a><a href="#Footnote_152_152" class="fnanchor">[152]</a> that he felle into the
+fyre. The mayde, seing him fall, ranne vp cryenge to her maistres, and
+sayd: Alas! my maister is fallen and lyeth longe straughte in the fyre.
+No force,<a name="FNanchor_153_153" id="FNanchor_153_153"></a><a href="#Footnote_153_153" class="fnanchor">[153]</a> mayde, said her maistres, let him lye and take his
+pleasure in his owne house, where so euer him listeth.</p>
+
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<h3><a name="Of_him_that_vsed_to_cal_his_servant_the_kinge_of_foles_ix" id="Of_him_that_vsed_to_cal_his_servant_the_kinge_of_foles_ix"></a>&para; <i>Of him that vsed to cal his servant the kinge of foles.</i> ix.</h3>
+
+
+<p>&para; There was a man that had a dulle lumpisshe felow to his seruant,
+wherfore he vsed commonly to call him the kinge of fooles. The felow at
+laste waxed angry in his minde to be alway so called and sayde to his
+mayster: I wolde that I were the kinge of foles: for then no man coulde
+compare with me in largenes of kingedome, and also you shulde be my
+subiect. By this one may perceiue, that to moch of one thing is not
+good: many one calleth an other fole, and is more fole him selfe.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_ii21" id="Page_ii21">[Pg 21]</a></span></p>
+
+
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<h3><a name="Of_the_yonge_woman_that_sorowed_so_greatly_her_husbondes_deth_x" id="Of_the_yonge_woman_that_sorowed_so_greatly_her_husbondes_deth_x"></a>&para; <i>Of the yonge woman that sorowed so greatly her husbondes deth.</i> x.</h3>
+
+
+<p>&para; There was a yonge woman, the whiche for her husbande, that laye a
+dyenge, sorowed oute of all measure, wherfore her father came often to
+her and sayde: daughter, leaue your mourninge: for I haue prouyded for
+you a nother husbande, a farre more goodly man. But she did nat onely
+continue in her sorowe, but also was greatly displeased, that her father
+made any motion to her of an other husbande. As sone as she had buryed
+her husbande, and the soule masse was songe, and that they were at
+dyner, betwene sobbynge and wepynge she rowned<a name="FNanchor_154_154" id="FNanchor_154_154"></a><a href="#Footnote_154_154" class="fnanchor">[154]</a> her father in the
+eare, and sayde: father, where is the same yonge man, that ye said shuld
+be min husbande? Lo, thus may ye se, that women sorowe ryght longe,
+after theyr husbondes be departed to God.</p>
+
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<h3><a name="Of_him_that_kissed_the_mayd_with_the_longe_nose_xi" id="Of_him_that_kissed_the_mayd_with_the_longe_nose_xi"></a>&para; <i>Of him that kissed the mayd with the longe nose.</i> xi.</h3>
+
+
+<p>&para; A bablynge gentylman, the whiche on a tyme wolde haue bassed<a name="FNanchor_155_155" id="FNanchor_155_155"></a><a href="#Footnote_155_155" class="fnanchor">[155]</a> a
+fayre mayde, that had nat the leest nose, sayde: how shulde I kysse you:
+youre nose wyll not suffre our lyppes to mete? The mayden, waxinge
+shamfast and angrye in her<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_ii22" id="Page_ii22">[Pg 22]</a></span> mynde (for with his scoffe he a lyttell
+touched her) answered on this wyse: syr, if ye can not kysse my mouth
+for my nose, ye may kysse me there as I haue nere a nose.</p>
+
+<p>Ye may by this tale lerne, that it is folye so to scoffe, that youre
+selfe therby shulde be laughed to scorne agayne. One that is
+ouer-couetous ought nat to attwite<a name="FNanchor_156_156" id="FNanchor_156_156"></a><a href="#Footnote_156_156" class="fnanchor">[156]</a> an other of prodigalite. Thou
+arte her brother (sayd Alcmeon to Adrastus) that slewe her husbande. But
+he blamed nat Alcmeon for an others faute, but obiected against him his
+owne. Thou hast with thy hande (sayd he) slayne thin owne mother. It is
+nat ynough to haue rebukes redie, and to speke vyle wordes agaynst
+other: for he, that so shuld do, ought to be without any vyce. For of
+all men, sayth Plutarchus, he ought to be innocent and haue the lyfe
+vnculpable, that wolde reprehende the fautes of other. The lyttell
+morall boke<a name="FNanchor_157_157" id="FNanchor_157_157"></a><a href="#Footnote_157_157" class="fnanchor">[157]</a> sayth:</p>
+
+<p>
+<span style="margin-left: 1em;">It is a foule thynge worthye rebuke and blame</span><br />
+<span style="margin-left: 1em;">A vyce to reprehende and do the same.</span><br />
+<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_ii23" id="Page_ii23">[Pg 23]</a></span></p>
+
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<h3><a name="The_Uplandisshe_mans_answere_concerninge_the_steple_and_pulpit" id="The_Uplandisshe_mans_answere_concerninge_the_steple_and_pulpit"></a>&para; <i>The Uplandisshe mans answere, concerninge the steple and pulpit.</i> xii.</h3>
+
+
+
+<p>&para; In a certayne place, on a tyme the perysshyns<a name="FNanchor_158_158" id="FNanchor_158_158"></a><a href="#Footnote_158_158" class="fnanchor">[158]</a> had pulled downe
+theyr steple, and had buylded it vp newe agayne, and had put out theyr
+belles to be newe-founded: and bycause they range nat at the bysshops
+entrynge into the village, as they were wont and acustomed to do, he
+asked a good homely man, whether they had no belles in theyr steple: he
+answered: no! Than, sayde the bysshop, ye may sylle aweye<a name="FNanchor_159_159" id="FNanchor_159_159"></a><a href="#Footnote_159_159" class="fnanchor">[159]</a> your
+steple. Why so, and please your lordship, sayd the man? Bycause hit
+stondeth vacant, said the bysshop. Than sayde the man, we may well sylle
+away an other thinge, that we haue in our churche. What is that, sayd
+the bysshop? That is a pulpit, quod he. For this vii yere ther was no
+sermon made therin.</p>
+
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<h3><a name="Of_the_beggers_answere_to_M_Skelton_the_poete_xiii" id="Of_the_beggers_answere_to_M_Skelton_the_poete_xiii"></a>&para; <i>Of the beggers answere to M. Skelton the poete.</i> xiii.</h3>
+
+
+<p>&para; A poure begger, that was foule, blacke and lothlye to beholde, cam
+vpon a tyme vnto mayster Skelton the poete, and asked him his almes. To<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_ii24" id="Page_ii24">[Pg 24]</a></span>
+whom mayster Skelton sayde: I praye the, gette the awaye fro me: for
+thou lokeste as though thou camest out of helle. The poure man,
+perceyuing he wolde gyue him no thynge, answerd: For soth, syr, ye say
+trouth, I came oute of helle. Why dyddest thou nat tary styl there, quod
+mayster Skelton? Mary, syr, quod the begger, there is no roume for suche
+poure beggers as I am: all is kepte for suche gentyl men as ye be.</p>
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<h3><a name="Of_the_chaplen_that_sayde_our_lady_matens_a_bed_xiiii" id="Of_the_chaplen_that_sayde_our_lady_matens_a_bed_xiiii"></a>&para; <i>Of the chaplen, that sayde our lady matens a bed.</i> xiiii.</h3>
+
+
+<p>&para; A certayne lorde's chaplen bosted on a tyme, syttynge at his lorde's
+table, that he sayde our lady matyns euery morninge besyde all his other
+seruice and orisons. The lorde, to proue whether his chaplen did as he
+sayde, arose yerly on a morninge, and went to his chaplen's chamber, and
+called hym, saying: where be ye, syr wylliam? Here, and please your
+lordshyp (quod he), in my bedde. Why, sayd the lorde, I thought ye had
+ben vp and sayenge of our lady matyns. I am nowe sayinge it, quod the
+chappleyn. What! lienge in your bedde, quod the lord? why, syr, sayd the
+chapplain, where shudde women be serued but a bedde?<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_ii25" id="Page_ii25">[Pg 25]</a></span></p>
+
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<h3><a name="Of_him_that_lost_his_purse_in_London_xv" id="Of_him_that_lost_his_purse_in_London_xv"></a>&para; <i>Of him that lost his purse in London.</i> xv.</h3>
+
+
+<p>&para; A certayn man of the countre, the whiche for busines came vp to
+London, lost his purse as he wente late in the euenynge; and by cause
+the somme therin was great, he sette vp bylles in dyuers places that, if
+any man of the cyte had founde the purse, and wolde brynge it agayne to
+him, he shulde haue welle for his laboure. A gentyll man of the Temple
+wrote vnder one of the byls, howe the man shulde come to his chamber,
+and tolde [him] where. So, whan he was come, the gentyll man asked him
+fyrst what was in the purse; secondli, what countrey man he was, and
+thirdly, what was his name? Syr, quod he, xx nobles was inne the pourse;
+I am halfe a walshe man; and my name is John vp Janken.<a name="FNanchor_160_160" id="FNanchor_160_160"></a><a href="#Footnote_160_160" class="fnanchor">[160]</a> John vp
+Jankyn (sayde the gentyll man), I am gladde I knowe thy name: for so
+longe as I lyue, thou nor none of thyn name shal haue my purse to kepe;
+and nowe fare well, gentyll John vp Jankyn. Thus he was mocked to scorne
+and went his way.</p>
+
+<p>Hereby ye may perceyue, that a man can not haue a shrewde tourne, but
+otherwhyle a mocke withall.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_ii26" id="Page_ii26">[Pg 26]</a></span></p>
+
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<h3><a name="Of_the_marchaunt_that_lost_his_bodgette_betwene_Ware_and_London" id="Of_the_marchaunt_that_lost_his_bodgette_betwene_Ware_and_London"></a>&para; <i>Of the marchaunt that lost his bodgette betwene Ware and Lon[don].</i> xvi.</h3>
+
+
+
+<p>&para; A certayne marchant betwene Ware and London lost his bodget and a c
+li. therin, wherfore he caused to proclayme in dyuers market townes,
+that who so euer<a name="FNanchor_161_161" id="FNanchor_161_161"></a><a href="#Footnote_161_161" class="fnanchor">[161]</a> founde the sayde bodget, and wolde bryng it
+agayne, shulde haue xx li. for his labour. An honeste husbandeman, that
+chaunsed to fynde the sayde bodget, brought it to the baily<a name="FNanchor_162_162" id="FNanchor_162_162"></a><a href="#Footnote_162_162" class="fnanchor">[162]</a> of
+Ware, accordynge to the crye, and required his xx li. for his labour, as
+it was proclaymed. The couetous marchant, whan he vnderstode this, and
+that he muste nedes pay xx li. for the fyndynge, he sayd, that there was
+an c and xx li. in his bodgette, and so wolde haue hadde his owne money
+and xx li. ouer. So longe they stroue, that the matter was brought
+before mayster Vauasour the good Judge. Whan he vnderstode by the
+bayllye, that the crye was made for a bodget with an c li. therin, he
+demanded where hit<a name="FNanchor_163_163" id="FNanchor_163_163"></a><a href="#Footnote_163_163" class="fnanchor">[163]</a> was? Here, quod<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_ii27" id="Page_ii27">[Pg 27]</a></span> the bailly, and toke it vnto
+him. Is it iust an c li. sayde the Judge? Ye, trulye, quod the baillye.
+Holde, sayde the Judge (to him that founde the bodget), take thou this
+money vnto thyne owne vse: and if thou hap to fynde a bodgette with a c
+and xx li. therin, brynge it to this honest marchante man. It is myn; I
+lost no more but an c li. quod the marchant. Ye speke nowe to late, quod
+the Judge.</p>
+
+<p>By this tale ye may vnderstande, that they that go about to disceyue
+other, be often tymes disceyued them selfe. And some tyme one fallethe
+in the dytche, that he him selfe made.</p>
+
+
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<h3><a name="Of_him_that_was_called_cuckolde_xvii" id="Of_him_that_was_called_cuckolde_xvii"></a>&para; <i>Of him that was called cuckolde.</i> xvii.</h3>
+
+
+<p>&para; A certayne man, whiche vpon a tyme in company betwene ernest and game
+was called cuckolde, went angerly home to his wife and sayde: wyfe, I
+was this day in company called kockolde; whether am I one or nat? Syr,
+truly, sayde she, ye be none. By my fayth (sayde he), thou shall swere
+so vpon this boke; and helde to her a boke. She denyed it longe; but
+whan she sawe there was no remedy, she sayde: well, sythe I must nedes
+swere, I promyse you by my faythe, I will swere truly. Yea, do so, quod
+he. So she toke the boke<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_ii28" id="Page_ii28">[Pg 28]</a></span> in her hande and sayd: By this boke, syr, ye
+be a cokolde. By the masse, hore, sayd he, thou lyest! thou sayste it
+for none other cause but to anger me.</p>
+
+<p>By this tale ye may parceyue, that it is nat best at all tymes for a man
+to beleue his wife, though she swere vpon a boke.</p>
+
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<h3><a name="Of_the_iolous_man_xviii" id="Of_the_iolous_man_xviii"></a>&para; <i>Of the iolous man.</i> xviii.</h3>
+
+
+<p>&para; A man that was ryght iolous on his wyfe, dreamed on a nyght as he laye
+a bed with her and slepte, that the dyuell aperd vnto him and sayde:
+woldest thou nat be gladde, that I shulde put the in suretie of thy
+wife? Yes, sayde he. Holde, sayde the dyuell, as longe as thou hast this
+rynge vpon thy fynger, no man shall make the kockolde. The man was
+gladde therof, and whan he awaked, he founde his fynger in * * * * * * *
+*.</p>
+
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<h3><a name="Of_the_fatte_woman_that_solde_frute_xix" id="Of_the_fatte_woman_that_solde_frute_xix"></a>&para; <i>Of the fatte woman that solde frute.</i> xix.</h3>
+
+
+<p>&para; As a greate fatte woman sate and solde frute in a Lente, there came a
+yonge man bye, and behelde her frute ernestly, and specially he caste
+his eyes on her fygges. She asked him, as was her gyse: syr, wyll ye
+haue any fygges; they be fayre and good? And whan she sawe he was
+content, she<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_ii29" id="Page_ii29">[Pg 29]</a></span> sayde, howe manye? wyll ye haue fyue li? He was content.
+So she wayed him oute fyue li. into his lappe: and whyle she layde aside
+her balaunce, he wente his waye faire and softely. Whan she tourned to
+haue taken her<a name="FNanchor_164_164" id="FNanchor_164_164"></a><a href="#Footnote_164_164" class="fnanchor">[164]</a> money, and sawe her chapman go his waye, she made
+after apace, but faster with her voice than with hir fote. He,
+dissemblinge the mater, wente styll forth on. She made suche a cryenge
+and folkes gathered so faste, that he stode styll. So in the preace he
+shewed to the people all the matter, and said: I bought nothing of hir;
+but that that she vnbyd gaue me, I toke; and if she wyll, I am contente
+to go before the Justice.</p>
+
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<h3><a name="Of_a_poller_that_begyled_a_prest_xx" id="Of_a_poller_that_begyled_a_prest_xx"></a>&para; <i>Of a poller that begyled a prest.</i> xx.</h3>
+
+
+<p>&para; Vpon a tyme in Andwarpe a false pollynge<a name="FNanchor_165_165" id="FNanchor_165_165"></a><a href="#Footnote_165_165" class="fnanchor">[165]</a> felowe came vnto a
+certeyne preste, that hadde his purse hangynge at his gyrdell
+strouttinge<a name="FNanchor_166_166" id="FNanchor_166_166"></a><a href="#Footnote_166_166" class="fnanchor">[166]</a> oute full of money that he a lytell before had
+resceyued, and gentilly gretynge hym sayde: good Mayster, our parysshe
+preste bad me bye him a palle<a name="FNanchor_167_167" id="FNanchor_167_167"></a><a href="#Footnote_167_167" class="fnanchor">[167]</a> (which<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_ii30" id="Page_ii30">[Pg 30]</a></span> is the vppermoste vestement,
+that a preste syngeth masse in); if it wolde please you to go with me, I
+were moche bounde to you: for our curat and you be of one stature. The
+preste was contente. Whan they came there where he wolde bye it, the
+palle was broughte forth, and the preste dyd it on: the poller loketh
+and toteth<a name="FNanchor_168_168" id="FNanchor_168_168"></a><a href="#Footnote_168_168" class="fnanchor">[168]</a> thereon, and preyseth it, but he layde a wyte,<a name="FNanchor_169_169" id="FNanchor_169_169"></a><a href="#Footnote_169_169" class="fnanchor">[169]</a> that
+it was to shorte before. Nay, quod the syller, the faute is nat in the
+vestement, hit is the strouttinge purse vnderneth that beareth hit up.
+Shortely to speake, the prest dyd of his purse, and layde hit by, and
+than the vestiment they behelde agayne. Whan the poller sawe the preste
+was tourned, he snatched vp the purs, and toke his legges and to
+go.<a name="FNanchor_170_170" id="FNanchor_170_170"></a><a href="#Footnote_170_170" class="fnanchor">[170]</a> The preste rounne after with the vestement on his backe: and
+the vestement-maker after the prest. The prest bad stop the thefe, the
+siller bad stop the prest, the poller bade holde the mad preste, and
+euery man wende<a name="FNanchor_171_171" id="FNanchor_171_171"></a><a href="#Footnote_171_171" class="fnanchor">[171]</a> he had ben mad in dede, bicause he had the
+vestement on his backe; and so whyle one letted an other, the false
+poller went his waye.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_ii31" id="Page_ii31">[Pg 31]</a></span></p>
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<h3><a name="Of_Papirius_pretextatus_xxi" id="Of_Papirius_pretextatus_xxi"></a>&para; <i>Of Papirius pretextatus.</i> xxi.</h3>
+
+
+<p>&para; <span class="smcap">Aulus Gellius</span><a name="FNanchor_172_172" id="FNanchor_172_172"></a><a href="#Footnote_172_172" class="fnanchor">[172]</a> reherseth, how the Senatours of Rome on a tyme
+helde a great counsaile. Before which tyme the senatours chyldren,
+called of their garmentes <i>Pueri pretextati</i>, vsed to come into the
+parlemente house with theyre fathers. So at this tyme a chylde, called
+Papyrius, cam in with his father and herde the great counsayl the which
+was straytely commaunded to be kept secrete, tyll hit was decreed. Whan
+this chylde came home, his mother asked him what the counsaile was. The
+chylde answered, hit oughte nat to be tolde. Now was his mother more
+desyrous to knowe hit than she was before; wherfore she enquered more
+straitly and more violentlye. The chylde, beinge sore constrayned of his
+mother, shortelye deuysed a propre merye leasynge.<a name="FNanchor_173_173" id="FNanchor_173_173"></a><a href="#Footnote_173_173" class="fnanchor">[173]</a> It is reasoned
+in the parlemente (quod he), whether of both<a name="FNanchor_174_174" id="FNanchor_174_174"></a><a href="#Footnote_174_174" class="fnanchor">[174]</a> shulde be more
+profytable for the comon welth, a man to haue ii wiues or els a woman ii
+husbandes. Whan she harde him saye so, her mynde was pacified: and
+forth-with she wente and tolde hit to the other matrones.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_ii32" id="Page_ii32">[Pg 32]</a></span></p>
+
+<p>On the morowe, a great company of the moste notable wyues of Rome came
+to the parlemente house weping, and humbly prayeng, that rather one
+woman shuld be maryed vnto ii men than ii wemen to one man. The
+Senatours entringe into the court, what with the sodayn assembling of
+the wyues and of their request, were right sore astonied. Than the
+childe Papyrius stode forth, and enformed the senatours, how his mother
+wold haue compelled him to vtter the secrete counsayle: and howe he, to
+contente her mynde, feyned that leasynge. For which dede the Senatours
+right hyghly commended the childes fydelite and wytte. And forth-with
+they made a law, that no child after that (saue only Papirius) shuld
+come in to the parlement house with his father. And for his great
+prudence in that tender age he hadde gyuen to hym, to his great honour,
+this surname <i>Pretextatus</i>.</p>
+
+<p>Whereby ye may se, that the hygh treasure of man, and greattest grace,
+rested in well-ordrynge of the tonge. The moste prudent poete Hesiodus
+sayth: The tonge shulde not ronne at large, but be hydde as a precious
+treasure: for, of all the membres of man, the tonge yll-ordered is the
+worste. The tonge blasphemeth God. The tonge slaundereth thy neyghbour.
+The tonge breaketh peace, and stereth vp cruell warre, of all thynges<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_ii33" id="Page_ii33">[Pg 33]</a></span>
+to mankynde moste mischefull; the tonge is a broker of baudrye; the
+tonge setteth frendes at debate; the tonge with flatterynge, detraction
+and wanton tales enfecteth pure and clene myndes; the tonge without
+sworde or venome strangleth thy brother and frende; and brefely to
+speake, the tonge teacheth cursed heresyes, and of good Christiens
+maketh Antichristes.</p>
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<h3><a name="Of_the_corrupte_man_of_lawe_xxii" id="Of_the_corrupte_man_of_lawe_xxii"></a>&para; <i>Of the corrupte man of lawe.</i> xxii.</h3>
+
+
+<p>&para; There was a man of lawe, whiche on a tyme shulde be iudge betwene a
+poure man and a ryche: the poure man came, and gaue hym a glasse of oyle
+(whiche was as moche as his power wold stretche to) and desyred, that he
+wolde be good in his matter. Yes, quod he, the matter shall passe<a name="FNanchor_175_175" id="FNanchor_175_175"></a><a href="#Footnote_175_175" class="fnanchor">[175]</a>
+with the. The riche man, perceyuynge that, sente to the same iudge a
+fatte hogge, and prayed hym to be fauorable on his syde. Wherfore he
+gaue iudgement agaynst the poure man. Whan the poure man sawe that he
+was condemned, pytously complaynyng he sayd to the Judge: syr, I gaue
+you a glasse of oyle, and ye promysed by your faith, the matter shulde
+passe with me. To whom the iuge sayde: for a trouth there came a hogge<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_ii34" id="Page_ii34">[Pg 34]</a></span>
+into my house, whiche founde the glasse of oyle, and ouerthrewe and
+brake it: and so through spyllynge of the oyle I cleane forgot the.</p>
+
+<p>
+<span style="margin-left: 1em;">Wherby ye may se, that euermore amonge</span><br />
+<span style="margin-left: 1em;">The ryche hath his wyll, the pore taketh wronge.</span><br />
+</p>
+
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<h3><a name="Of_kynge_Lowes_of_France_and_the_husbandman_xxiii" id="Of_kynge_Lowes_of_France_and_the_husbandman_xxiii"></a>&para; <i>Of kynge Lowes of France, and the husbandman.</i> xxiii.</h3>
+
+
+<p>&para; What tyme kynge Lowes of Fraunce, the xi of that name, bycause of the
+trouble that was in the realme, kepte hym selfe in Burgoyne, he chaunced
+by occasion of huntinge to come acqueynted with one Conon a homely
+husbande man, and a plaine meanynge felowe, in whiche maner of men the
+hygh princes greatly delyte them. To this man's house the kynge ofte
+resorted from huntynge. And with great pleasure he wolde eate radysshes
+rotes with hym. Within a whyle after, whan Lowes was restored home, and
+had the gouernaunce of France in his hande, this husbandeman was
+counsailed by his wyfe to take a goodiy sorte of radysshe rotes and to
+go and gyue them to the kyng, and put him in mind of the good chere,
+that he had made hym at his house. Conon wolde nat assente therto. What
+folysshe woman! quod he, the greate princes remembre nat suche smalle<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_ii35" id="Page_ii35">[Pg 35]</a></span>
+pleasures. But for all that she wolde not reste, tyll Conon chose out a
+great syght<a name="FNanchor_176_176" id="FNanchor_176_176"></a><a href="#Footnote_176_176" class="fnanchor">[176]</a> of the fayrest rootes, and toke his iourney towarde the
+courte. But as he went by the way, he yete vp all the radysshes save one
+of the greattest.</p>
+
+<p>Conon peaked<a name="FNanchor_177_177" id="FNanchor_177_177"></a><a href="#Footnote_177_177" class="fnanchor">[177]</a> into the courte, and stode where the kynge shulde
+passe by: By and by the kynge knewe hym, and called hym to hym. Conon
+stepte to the kynge and presented his rote with a gladde chere. And the
+kynge toke it more gladly, and bad one, that was nerest to hym, to laye
+it vp amonge those iewels that he best loued; and than commaunded Conon
+to dyne with hym. Whan dyner was done, he thanked Conon: and whan the
+kyng sawe that he wolde departe home, he commaunded to gyue hym a
+thousande crownes of golde for his radisshe rote. Whan this was knowen
+in the kinges house, one of the court gaue the kyng a propre mynion<a name="FNanchor_178_178" id="FNanchor_178_178"></a><a href="#Footnote_178_178" class="fnanchor">[178]</a>
+horse. The king, perceiuing that he dyd it, bicause of the liberalite
+shewed vnto Conon, with very glad chere he toke the gyft, and counsailed
+with his lordes, howe and with what<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_ii36" id="Page_ii36">[Pg 36]</a></span> gyft he myght recompence the
+horse, that was so goodly and faire. This meanewhile the picke-thank had
+a meruailous great hope, and thought in his mynde thus: if he so wel
+recompensed the radysshe rote, that was gyuen of a rusticall man, howe
+moche more largely wyl he recompence suche an horse, that is gyuen of me
+that am of the courte? Whan euery man had sayde hys mynde, as though the
+kynge had counsayled aboute a great weyghty matter, and that they hadde
+longe fedde the pycke thanke with vayne hope, at last the kyng sayd: I
+remembre nowe, what we shal gyue hym; and so he called one of his
+lordes, and badde hym in his eare go fetche hym that that he founde in
+his chambre (and told hym the place where) featly<a name="FNanchor_179_179" id="FNanchor_179_179"></a><a href="#Footnote_179_179" class="fnanchor">[179]</a> folded vp in
+sylke. Anone he came and brought the radysshe roote, and euen as it was
+folded vp, the kyng with his owne hand gaue it to the courtier, sayenge:
+we suppose your horse is well recompensed with this iewell, for it hath
+cost vs a thousande crownes. The courtier went his way neuer so glad,
+and whan he had vnfolded it, he found none other treasure but the
+radysshe rote almoste wethered.<a name="FNanchor_180_180" id="FNanchor_180_180"></a><a href="#Footnote_180_180" class="fnanchor">[180]</a><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_ii37" id="Page_ii37">[Pg 37]</a></span></p>
+
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<h3><a name="Of_an_other_picke-thanke_and_the_same_kinge_xxiiii" id="Of_an_other_picke-thanke_and_the_same_kinge_xxiiii"></a>&para; <i>Of an other picke-thanke, and the same kinge.</i> xxiiii.</h3>
+
+
+<p>&para; Vpon a time a seruant of the fornamed kinges, seynge a louce crepe
+vpon the kynges robe, kneled downe and put vp his hande, as though he
+wolde do somwhat, and as the kynge bowed hym self a lyttell, the man
+toke the louce, and conueyed her away priuely. The kynge asked hym what
+it was, but he was ashamed to shew. So moche the kyng instanted<a name="FNanchor_181_181" id="FNanchor_181_181"></a><a href="#Footnote_181_181" class="fnanchor">[181]</a>
+hym, that at laste he confessed hit was a louce. Oh! quod the kynge, it
+is good lucke: for this declareth me to be a man. For that kynde of
+vermyne principally greueth mankynde, specially in youth. And so the
+kynge commanded to gyue him fyfty crownes for his labour.</p>
+
+<p>Nat longe after, an other, seynge that the kynge gaue so good a rewarde
+for so smalle a pleasure, came and kneled downe, and put vp his hande,
+and made as though he toke and conueyed some what priuelye awaye. And
+whan the kynge constrayned him to tell what hit was, with moche
+dissemblyng shamfastnes he sayd, hit was a flee. The kynge, perceyuinge
+his dissimulation, sayd to him: what, woldest thou make me a dogge? and<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_ii38" id="Page_ii38">[Pg 38]</a></span>
+so for his fifty crownes, that he prooled<a name="FNanchor_182_182" id="FNanchor_182_182"></a><a href="#Footnote_182_182" class="fnanchor">[182]</a> for, the kinge commaunded
+to gyue him fiftye strypes.</p>
+
+<p>Wherby ye may note, that there is great difference betwene one that doth
+a thynge of good will and mynde, and hym that doth a thynge by crafte
+and dissymulation; whiche thinge this noble and moste prudent prince
+well vnderstode. And one ought to be well ware<a name="FNanchor_183_183" id="FNanchor_183_183"></a><a href="#Footnote_183_183" class="fnanchor">[183]</a> howe he hath to do
+with highe princes and their busynes. And if <i>Ecclesiast[es]</i> forbid,
+that one shall mynde none yll to a kynge, howe shulde any dare speake
+yll?</p>
+
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<h3><a name="Of_Thales_the_astronomer_that_fell_in_a_ditch_xxv" id="Of_Thales_the_astronomer_that_fell_in_a_ditch_xxv"></a>&para; <i>Of Thales the astronomer that fell in a ditch.</i> xxv.</h3>
+
+
+<p>&para; Laertius wryteth,<a name="FNanchor_184_184" id="FNanchor_184_184"></a><a href="#Footnote_184_184" class="fnanchor">[184]</a> that Thales Milesius wente oute of his house
+vpon a time to beholde the starres for a certayn cause: and so longe he
+went backeward, that he fell plumpe in to a ditche ouer the eares;
+wherfore an olde woman, that he kepte in his house laughed and sayde to
+him in derision: O Thales, how shuldest thou haue knowlege in heuenly
+thinges aboue, and knowest nat what is here benethe vnder thy feet?<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_ii39" id="Page_ii39">[Pg 39]</a></span></p>
+
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<h3><a name="Of_the_astronomer_that_theues_robbed_xxvi" id="Of_the_astronomer_that_theues_robbed_xxvi"></a>&para; <i>Of the astronomer that theues robbed.</i> xxvi.</h3>
+
+
+<p>&para; As an astronomer that satte vpon a tyme in the market place of a
+certayne towne, and toke vpon him to dyuine and to shewe what theyr
+fortunes and chaunses shuld be, that came to him: there came a felow and
+tolde him (as it was in deede) that theues had broken in to his house,
+and had borne away all that he hadde. These tidinges greued him so sore,
+that all hevy and sorowefullye he rose vp and wente his waye. Whan the
+felowe sawe him do so, he sayde: O thou folissh and madde man, goest
+thou aboute to dyuine other mennes matters, and arte ignorant in thine
+owne?</p>
+
+<p>This tale (besyde the blynde errour of suche foles) toucheth them, that
+handell theyr owne matters lewdly, and wyll entermedle in other mens.
+And Cicero saythe: That wyse man, that can nat profytte him selfe, hath
+but lytell wysdome.</p>
+
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<h3><a name="Of_the_plough_man_that_sayde_his_pater_noster_xxvii" id="Of_the_plough_man_that_sayde_his_pater_noster_xxvii"></a>&para; <i>Of the plough man that sayde his pater noster.</i> xxvii.</h3>
+
+
+<p>&para; A rude vplandisshe ploughman, on a tyme<a name="FNanchor_185_185" id="FNanchor_185_185"></a><a href="#Footnote_185_185" class="fnanchor">[185]</a> reprouynge a good holy
+father sayd, that he coude<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_ii40" id="Page_ii40">[Pg 40]</a></span> saye all his prayers with a hole mynde and
+stedfaste intention, without thinkyng on any other thynge. To whome the
+good holy man sayde: Go to, saye one <i>Pater noster</i> to the ende, and
+thynke on none other thinge, and I wyll gyue the myn horse. That shall I
+do, quod the plough man, and so began to saye: <i>Pater noster qui es in
+celis</i>, tyll he came to <i>Sanctificetur nomen tuum</i>, and than his thought
+moued him to aske this question: yea, but shal I haue the sadil and
+bridel withal? And so he lost his bargain.</p>
+
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<h3><a name="Of_him_that_dreamed_he_fonde_golde_xxviii" id="Of_him_that_dreamed_he_fonde_golde_xxviii"></a>&para; <i>Of him that dreamed he fonde golde.</i> xxviii.</h3>
+
+
+<p>&para; There was a man, that sayde in company vpon a tyme, howe he dreamed on
+a nyghte, that the deuyll ledde him in to a felde to dygge for golde.
+Whan he had founde the golde, the deuyll sayde: Thou canste not carye
+hit a waye nowe, but marke the place, that thou mayste fetche hit an
+other tyme. What marke shall I make, quod the man? S**** ouer hit, quod
+the deuyl: for that shall cause euery man to shonne the place, and for
+the hit shall be a speciall knowlege. The man was contente, and dyd so.
+So whan he awaked oute of his slepe, he parceyued, that he had foule
+defyled his bedde. Thus betwene stynke and dyrte vp he rose, and<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_ii41" id="Page_ii41">[Pg 41]</a></span> made
+him redy to go forth: and laste of all he put on his bonette, wherin
+also the same nighte the catte hadde s***; For great stinke wherof he
+threwe away his couer knaue,<a name="FNanchor_186_186" id="FNanchor_186_186"></a><a href="#Footnote_186_186" class="fnanchor">[186]</a> and was fayne to wasshe his
+busshe.<a name="FNanchor_187_187" id="FNanchor_187_187"></a><a href="#Footnote_187_187" class="fnanchor">[187]</a> Thus his golden dreame tournedde all to dyrte.<a name="FNanchor_188_188" id="FNanchor_188_188"></a><a href="#Footnote_188_188" class="fnanchor">[188]</a></p>
+
+<p>Tibullus sayth: Dreames in the nyght begylen, and cause fearefull myndes
+to drede thynges that neuer shalbe. But yet Claudian sayeth: Dreames in
+sondrye wyse fygured gyueth warnynge of vnluckye thynges. And Valerius
+Maximus wryteth that, as Hamylcar besiged the cyte of Syracuse, he
+dreamed, that he harde a voyce saye, that he the nexte daye shulde suppe
+with in the cyte. Wherfore he was ioyfull, as thoughe the victorye from
+heuen had ben to him promised. And so [he] apparayled his hooste to
+assaute the towne: in whiche assaute he chaunced to be taken in his
+lodgynge by them of the cyte, and so bounden lyke a prysoner, they ledde
+hym in to theyr cite. Thus he more disceyued by hope, than by his dreme,
+supped that nyghte within the citie as a prisoner, and nat as a
+conquerour, as he presumed<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_ii42" id="Page_ii42">[Pg 42]</a></span> in his mynde. Alcibiades also hadde a
+certayne vision in the nyghte of his miserable ende.</p>
+
+<p>This tale sheweth that dreames sometyme come to passe by one meane or
+other. And he that desyreth to knowe more of dreames wrytten in our
+englysshe tonge, let hym rede the tale of the nounnes preste, that G.
+Chauser wrote: and for the skeles howe dreames and sweuens<a name="FNanchor_189_189" id="FNanchor_189_189"></a><a href="#Footnote_189_189" class="fnanchor">[189]</a> are
+caused, the begynnynge of the Boke of Fame, the whiche the sayde Chauser
+compiled with many an other matter full of wysedome.</p>
+
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<h3><a name="Of_the_crakynge_yonge_gentyll_man_that_wold_ouerthrowe_his_enmyes_a" id="Of_the_crakynge_yonge_gentyll_man_that_wold_ouerthrowe_his_enmyes_a"></a>&para; <i>Of the crakynge yonge gentyll man, that wold ouerthrowe his enmyes a myle of.</i> xxix.</h3>
+
+
+
+<p>&para; A yonge gentyl man in a cite that was beseged, rebuked the other and
+called them cowherdes, bycause they wolde nat issue out and fight with
+their enmyes. So he armed at all peces lepte on horsebacke, and galopte
+out at the gates. Whan he,<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_ii43" id="Page_ii43">[Pg 43]</a></span> thus crakynge,<a name="FNanchor_190_190" id="FNanchor_190_190"></a><a href="#Footnote_190_190" class="fnanchor">[190]</a> hadde prycked on aboute
+a myle, he encountred with manye, that retourned home from the
+skyrmysshe sore wounded; wherfore he beganne to ryde a softer pace. But
+whan he harde the hydous noyse, and sawe a myle frome hym howe fyerslye
+they of the citie and theyr enmyes assayled eche other, he stode euen
+stylle. Than one, that harde his crakynge before, asked hym, why he rode
+no nere[r] to fyghte with their enmyes. He answered and sayde: Trewly I
+fynde nat my selfe so able and stronge in armes, that my harte wyl serue
+me to ryde any nere[r] to them.</p>
+
+<p>Wherby may be noted, that nat onely the force of the mynde, but also of
+the body, shulde be wel consydred. Nor one shulde nat bragge and bost to
+do more than he maye welle atcheue. There be many, whiche with their
+wordes slee<a name="FNanchor_191_191" id="FNanchor_191_191"></a><a href="#Footnote_191_191" class="fnanchor">[191]</a> theyr enmyes a great waye of, but whan they se theyr
+enmye, they put on a sure breste plate and a gorget of a myle of
+lengthe. Plutarche wryteth that, whan Memnon made warre for Darius
+agaynste Alexander, he harde one of his souldyours crake and speake many
+yll wordes agaynst Alexander; wherfore he rapte hym on the pate with a
+iauelynge, sayenge: I hyred the to fyght agaynste Alexandre, and not to
+crake and prate.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_ii44" id="Page_ii44">[Pg 44]</a></span></p>
+
+<p>Otherwhyle sayth Quintus Curtius, the couetousnes of glory and
+insaciable desire of fame causeth, that we thynke nothing ouermoche or
+ouer hard. But Salust saith: Before a man enterprise any feate, he ought
+fyrst to counsayle: and after to go in hande there with nat
+heedlynge<a name="FNanchor_192_192" id="FNanchor_192_192"></a><a href="#Footnote_192_192" class="fnanchor">[192]</a> nor slowly.</p>
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<h3><a name="Of_hym_that_fell_of_a_tre_and_brake_his_rybbe_xxx" id="Of_hym_that_fell_of_a_tre_and_brake_his_rybbe_xxx"></a>&para; <i>Of hym that fell of a tre and brake his rybbe.</i> xxx.</h3>
+
+
+<p>&para; There was a husbande man whiche, on a tyme, as he clymbed a tree to
+gette downe the frute, felle and brake a rybbe in his syde. To comforte
+hym there came a very merye man whiche, as they talked to gether sayde,
+he wolde teache hym suche a rule that, if he wold folowe it, he shuld
+neuer falle from tree more. Marye, sayde the hurte man, I wolde ye hadde
+taught me that rule before I felle: neuer the lesse, bycause it may
+happe to profyte me in tyme to come, lette me here what it is. Than the
+other sayd: Take hede, that thou go neuer downe faster than thou wentest
+vp, but discende as softly as thou clymmest vp; and so thou shalt neuer
+fall.</p>
+
+<p>By this tale ye may note, that abidyng and<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_ii45" id="Page_ii45">[Pg 45]</a></span> slownesse otherwhile are
+good and commendable, specially in those thynges, wherin spede and
+hastines cause great hurte and damage. Seneca saythe: A sodayne thynge
+is nought.</p>
+
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<h3><a name="Of_the_frier_that_brayde_in_his_sermon_xxxi" id="Of_the_frier_that_brayde_in_his_sermon_xxxi"></a>&para; <i>Of the frier that brayde in his sermon.</i> xxxi.</h3>
+
+
+<p>&para; A fryer, that preached to the people on a tyme, wolde otherwhyle crie
+out a loude (as the maner of some fooles is) whiche brayenge dyd so moue
+a woman that stode herynge his sermone, that she wepte. He, parceyuyng
+that, thought in his mynde her conscience being prycked with his wordes
+had caused her to wepe. Wherfore, whan his sermon was done, he called
+the woman to hym, and asked what was the cause of her wepynge, and
+whether his wordes moued her to wepe or nat? Forsoth, mayster (sayde
+she), I am a poure wydowe: and whan myne husbande dyed, he lefte me but
+one asse, whiche gotte parte of my lyuynge, the whiche asse the wolues
+haue slayne: and nowe, whan I hard your hyghe voyce, I remembred my
+selye asse: for so he was wonte to braye bothe nyghte and daye. And
+this, good mayster, caused me to wepe. Thus the lewde brayer, rather
+than preacher, confuted with his folysshenes, wente his way; which,
+thinkynge for his brayenge lyke an<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_ii46" id="Page_ii46">[Pg 46]</a></span> asse to be reputed for the beste
+preacher, deserued well to here hym selfe to be compared to an asse.</p>
+
+<p>
+<span style="margin-left: 1em;">For truely one to suppose hym selfe wyse</span><br />
+<span style="margin-left: 1em;">Is vnto folysshenes the very fyrste gryce.<a name="FNanchor_193_193" id="FNanchor_193_193"></a><a href="#Footnote_193_193" class="fnanchor">[193]</a></span><br />
+</p>
+
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<h3><a name="The_oration_of_the_ambassadour_sent_to_Pope_Urban_xxxii" id="The_oration_of_the_ambassadour_sent_to_Pope_Urban_xxxii"></a>&para; <i>The oration of the ambassadour sent to Pope Urban.</i> xxxii.</h3>
+
+
+<p>&para; Out of the towne of Parusyn were sente vpon a tyme thre ambassadours
+vnto our holye father Pope Urban, whom they founde sycke in his bed.
+Before whose holynes one of the sayde ambassadours had a longe and a
+tedious oration, that he had deuysed by the way; the whiche, er it was
+ended, ryght sore anoyed the popes holynesse. Whan he hadde all sayde,
+the pope asked: Is there anye thynge elles? An other of the thre,
+percevuynge howe greately the ambagious<a name="FNanchor_194_194" id="FNanchor_194_194"></a><a href="#Footnote_194_194" class="fnanchor">[194]</a> tale greued the popes
+holynes to here it out, sayde: Moost holy father, this is all the
+effece, and if your holynes spede vs nat forthewith, my felowe shall
+telle his tale agayne. At whiche sayenge the pope laughed, and caused
+the ambassadours to be spedde incontinent.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_ii47" id="Page_ii47">[Pg 47]</a></span></p>
+
+<p>By this tale one maye lerne, that superfluous wordes ought dilygently to
+be auoyded, specially where a matter is treated before an hygh prince.</p>
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<h3><a name="Of_the_ambassadour_sent_to_the_prince_Agis_xxxiii" id="Of_the_ambassadour_sent_to_the_prince_Agis_xxxiii"></a>&para; <i>Of the ambassadour sent to the prince Agis.</i> xxxiii.</h3>
+
+
+<p>&para; Nat moch vnlike the forsayd tale, Plutarche reciteth that, whan the
+ambassadour of the Abderites had at laste ended a longe tale to the
+prynce Agis, he asked what answere he shulde make to them that sent him?
+Say vnto them (quod the prince), whan thou comest home, that all the
+longe tyme that thou didest dispende in tellynge thy tale, I sate styll
+and harde the paciently.</p>
+
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<h3><a name="The_answere_of_Cleomenes_to_the_Samiens_ambassadour_xxxiiii" id="The_answere_of_Cleomenes_to_the_Samiens_ambassadour_xxxiiii"></a>&para; <i>The answere of Cleomenes to the Samiens ambassadour.</i> xxxiiii.</h3>
+
+
+<p>&para; Plutarche rehersethe also, that what tyme an ambassadour, that was
+sente frome the Samiens, had made a longe oration vnto Cleomines, to
+perswade him to make warre to Polycrates, he answered the ambassadour on
+this maner of wyse: I remembre nat, what thou sayddest in the begynnyng
+of thy tale, and therfore I vnderstand nat the myddis; and thy
+conclusion pleaseth me nat.</p>
+
+<p>Wherby we may perceyue, that the noble wyse<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_ii48" id="Page_ii48">[Pg 48]</a></span> men loue fewe wordes. And
+as the Rhetoriciens say: amonge the vices of an oratoure, there is none
+more hurtefull than the superfluous heape of wordes.</p>
+
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<h3><a name="Of_the_wyse_man_Piso_and_his_seruant_xxxv" id="Of_the_wyse_man_Piso_and_his_seruant_xxxv"></a>&para; <i>Of the wyse man Piso and his seruant.</i> xxxv.</h3>
+
+
+<p>&para; A certayn wise man called Piso, to auoyde greuous ianglynge,
+commaunded that his seruauntes shulde saye nothinge, but answere to that
+that thei were demaunded, and no more. Vpon a daye the sayde Piso made a
+dyner, and sente a seruaunt to desire Clodius the Consull to come and
+dyne with him. Aboute the houre of diner al the guestes came saue
+Clodius, for whom they taryed tyll hit was almoste nyght, and euer sente
+to loke if he came. At laste Piso sayde to his seruaunt: diddest thou
+byd the Consull come to dyner? Yes, truely, sayde he. Why cometh he nat
+than, quod Piso? Mary, quod the seruaunt, he sayde he wolde nat.
+Wherfore toldest me nat so incontinent, quod Piso? Bycause, quod the
+seruaunt, ye dyd nat aske me.</p>
+
+<p>By this tale, seruauntes may lerne to kepe theyr maisters biddyng: but
+yet I aduise maysters therby to take hede, howe they make an
+iniunction.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_ii49" id="Page_ii49">[Pg 49]</a></span></p>
+
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<h3><a name="Of_the_marchant_that_made_a_wager_with_his_lord_xxxvi" id="Of_the_marchant_that_made_a_wager_with_his_lord_xxxvi"></a>&para; <i>Of the marchant that made a wager with his lord.</i> xxxvi.</h3>
+
+
+<p>&para; A certayne marchaunt, before his lorde that he was subiecte vnto,
+amonge other thynges praysed his wyfe, and sayde, that he neuer harde
+her lette a *****. Wherat the lorde meruailed, and sayd it was
+impossible: and so layde and ventred a souper with the marchant, that
+before thre monethes were ended, he shulde here her lette a ***** or
+twayne. On the morowe, the lorde came to the marchaunt, and borowed
+fyfty crownes, the whiche he promysed trewely to repay agayne within
+viij dayes after. The marchaunt ryght sore agaynst his wylle lent it,
+and thoughtfully abode, tyll the daye of payment was come: and than he
+wente to his lorde and requyred his moneye. The lorde, makynge as though
+he had hadde more nede than before, desyred the marchaunt to lende hym
+other fyftye crownes, and promysed to paye all within a monethe. And all
+though the good man denyed hit longe, yet for feare lest he shulde lose
+the first somme, with moche grutchynge he lente hym the other fyfty
+crownes. And so wente home to his house ryghte heuye and sorowfull in
+his mynde. Thus thynkynge and dredynge diuers<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_ii50" id="Page_ii50">[Pg 50]</a></span> thynges, he passed many
+nyghtes awaye without slepe. And as he laye wakyng, he harde his wyfe
+nowe and than rappe out *****. At the monethes' ende the lorde sente for
+the marchant, and asked him, if he neuer sythe harde his wyfe let a
+*****. The marchant aknoweleginge his folye, answered thus: Forsothe,
+syr, if I shulde for euery ***** paye a souper, all my goodes and landes
+wolde nat suffice therto. After whiche answere, the lorde payde the
+marchant his money, and the marchant payde the souper.</p>
+
+<p>Here by ye maye se, that many thinges passe by them that slepe, and it
+is an old sayenge: He that slepeth, byteth no body. By this tale ye may
+note also that they, the whiche fortune swetelye enbraceth, take theyr
+reste and slepe soundely; And contrarye wyse, they that bene oppressed
+with aduersite, watche sorowefullye whan they shulde slepe. This man,
+which for a very folisshe thing preysed his wyfe, afterwarde whan a
+lyttell care beganne to crepe aboute his stomacke, he perceiued that
+faute in her ryght great. The morall boke, called Cato,<a name="FNanchor_195_195" id="FNanchor_195_195"></a><a href="#Footnote_195_195" class="fnanchor">[195]</a> counsayleth
+vs to watche for the more parte: For moche slomber and slepe is the
+norisshinge of vice.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_ii51" id="Page_ii51">[Pg 51]</a></span></p>
+
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<h3><a name="Of_the_friere_that_gaue_scrowes_agaynst_the_pestilence_xxxvii" id="Of_the_friere_that_gaue_scrowes_agaynst_the_pestilence_xxxvii"></a>&para; <i>Of the friere that gaue scrowes agaynst the pestilence.</i> xxxvii.</h3>
+
+
+<p>&para; Amonge the limitours<a name="FNanchor_196_196" id="FNanchor_196_196"></a><a href="#Footnote_196_196" class="fnanchor">[196]</a> in the cyte of Tiburtine (Tivoli), was a
+certayne friere, which vsed to preache about in the villages to men of
+the countrey: and for as moch as they greately suspecte[d] that a plague
+of pestilence shulde come amonge them, he promysed eche of them a lytell
+scrowe:<a name="FNanchor_197_197" id="FNanchor_197_197"></a><a href="#Footnote_197_197" class="fnanchor">[197]</a> which he sayde was of suche a vertue, that who so euer bare
+hit hangynge aboute his necke xv dayes shulde nat dye of the pestilence.
+The folisshe people trustynge herevpon, euerye one after his power gaue
+him money for a scrowe; and with a threde of a mayden's spynninge, they
+hanged hit aboute their neckes. But he charged them that they shuld nat
+open it tyll the xv dayes ende: for, if they did, he sayde hit had no
+vertue. So whan the frire hadde gathered moche moneye, he wente his
+waye. Soone after (as the desyre of folkes is<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_ii52" id="Page_ii52">[Pg 52]</a></span> to knowe newes) the sayd
+scrowes were redde, in which was writen in Italian speche:</p>
+
+<p>
+<span style="margin-left: 1em;"><i>Donna, si fili et cadeti lo fuso,</i></span><br />
+<span style="margin-left: 1em;"><i>Quando ti pieghi, tieni lo culo chiuso.</i><a name="FNanchor_198_198" id="FNanchor_198_198"></a><a href="#Footnote_198_198" class="fnanchor">[198]</a></span><br />
+</p>
+
+<p>Which is to saye in englysshe: woman, if thou spynne, and thy spyndell
+falle awaye, whan thou stoupest to reache for him, holde thyne ****
+close. He sayde, that this passed all the preceptes and medicines of the
+phisitians.</p>
+
+<p>By whiche tale one may lerne, that all is nat gospell that suche
+wanderers about saye, nor euerye word to be beleued: For often tymes:&mdash;</p>
+
+<p>
+<span style="margin-left: 1em;"><i>Gelidus jacet anguis in herb&acirc;.</i></span><br />
+</p>
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<h3><a name="Of_the_phisitian_that_vsed_to_write_bylles_ouer_eue_xxxviii" id="Of_the_phisitian_that_vsed_to_write_bylles_ouer_eue_xxxviii"></a>&para; <i>Of the phisitian, that vsed to write bylles ouer eue.</i> xxxviii.</h3>
+
+
+<p>&para; A certayne phisitian of Italy vsed ouer night to write for sondry
+diseasis diuers billes, called resceitz, and to put them in a bag al to
+gether. In the morning whan the vrins (as the custome is) were brought
+to him, and he [was] desired to showe some remedy, he wolde put his hand
+in to the bag, and at al auentures take oute a bille. And in takinge
+oute the bille he wolde say to him that came to seke remedye in their
+language: <i>Prega dio te la<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_ii53" id="Page_ii53">[Pg 53]</a></span> mandi bona</i>. That is to saye: Praye God to
+sende the a good one.</p>
+
+<p>By this tale ye may se, that miserable is their state whiche fortune
+muste helpe and nat reason. Suche a phisitian on a tyme sayde to
+Pausanias: Thou aylest nothinge. No, sayde he, I haue nat had to do with
+thy phisicke. And an other tyme a frende of his sayde: Syr, ye ought not
+to blame that phisitian: for his phisicke dyd you neuer hurte. Thou
+sayest trouthe, quod he: for, if I hadde proued his phisicke, I shulde
+nat nowe haue been alyue. And ageyne to an other that sayde: Syr, ye be
+an olde man, he answered: yea, thou were nat my phisitian. Such maner
+[of] checkes are to lyttell for the leude foles, that wyll practise
+phisicke, before they knowe what [be]longeth to theyr name.</p>
+
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<h3><a name="Of_hym_that_wolde_confesse_hym_by_writinge_xxxix" id="Of_hym_that_wolde_confesse_hym_by_writinge_xxxix"></a>&para; <i>Of hym that wolde confesse hym by writinge.</i> xxxix.</h3>
+
+
+<p>&para; Ther was a yonge man on a tyme, which wrote a longe lybell<a name="FNanchor_199_199" id="FNanchor_199_199"></a><a href="#Footnote_199_199" class="fnanchor">[199]</a> of his
+synnes; whether he did hit for hypocrisy, folysshenesse, or oblyuion I
+can not say: and whan he shulde confesse him, he gaue hit to the
+confessour to rede: whiche confessor,<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_ii54" id="Page_ii54">[Pg 54]</a></span> beinge well lerned and experte in
+that busynes, parceyued hit wolde requyre a longe tyme to rede ouer:
+wherfore after a fewe wordes he sayde: I assoyle the frome all the
+synnes conteyned in this lybell. Yea, but what shall my penaunce be,
+quod the yonge man? Nothinge els, sayde the confessour, but that thou
+shalte the space of a moneth rede this lybell ouer euery daye vii tymes.
+And all thoughe he sayde it was impossyble for him to do, yet the
+confessour wolde nat chaunge his sentence. By which mery subtyle answere
+he confuted the breble brable<a name="FNanchor_200_200" id="FNanchor_200_200"></a><a href="#Footnote_200_200" class="fnanchor">[200]</a> of the folysshe felowe.</p>
+
+<p>By this tale ye may perceyue that he that occupyeth this office, that is
+to saye, a confessour, ought to be discrete, prudent, and well lernedde.
+This confessour knewe well the ordinaunce of holye churche: whiche
+wylleth confession to be made with the mouthe, and nat by wrytynge.</p>
+
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<h3><a name="Of_the_hermite_of_Padowe_xl" id="Of_the_hermite_of_Padowe_xl"></a>&para; <i>Of the hermite of Padowe.</i> xl.</h3>
+
+
+<p>&para; An hermite of Padow,<a name="FNanchor_201_201" id="FNanchor_201_201"></a><a href="#Footnote_201_201" class="fnanchor">[201]</a> that was reputed for an holy man, vnder the
+semblaunce of confession,<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_ii55" id="Page_ii55">[Pg 55]</a></span> entyced many of the notablest wyues of the
+towne vnto folye and lewednes. So at last, whan his offence was
+dyuulgate and knowen (for hypocrisy can nat longe be hid) he was taken
+by the prouost, and brought before the prince of Padowe, duke Francis
+the vii of that name, whiche for his disporte sent for his secretarye,
+to wryte the womens names, that the hermit had layen by. Whan the
+hermyte had rehersed manye of the dukes seruantes wyues, and the
+secretarye merely laughenge had writen them, he semed as he had al said.
+Be there any mo, sayde the duke? No forsothe, said the hermite. Tel vs
+trouth, quod the secretarie, who be mo, or els thou shalte be sharply
+punisshed. Than the hermyte sighinge said: Go to, write in thin owne
+wife amonge the nomber of the other; which saienge so sore greued the
+secretarye, that the penne felle out of his hande and the duke laughed
+right hartily, and sayde it was well done: that he that with so great
+pleasure harde the fautes of other mennes wyues, shulde come in the same
+nombre.</p>
+
+<p>By this ieste we may lerne, that one ought nat to reioyce at an others
+grefe or hurte: For lytell woteth a man what hangeth ouer his owne
+heed.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_ii56" id="Page_ii56">[Pg 56]</a></span></p>
+
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<h3><a name="Of_the_Uplandysshe_man_that_sawe_the_kynge_xli" id="Of_the_Uplandysshe_man_that_sawe_the_kynge_xli"></a>&para; <i>Of the Uplandysshe man, that sawe the kynge.</i> xli.</h3>
+
+
+<p>&para; An vplandysshe man, nourysshed in the woddes, came on a tyme to the
+citie, whanne all the stretes were full of people, and the common voyce
+amonge them was: The kynge cometh. This rurall manne, moued with
+noueltie of that voyce, had great desyre to se, what that multitude
+houed<a name="FNanchor_202_202" id="FNanchor_202_202"></a><a href="#Footnote_202_202" class="fnanchor">[202]</a> to beholde. Sodaynly the kynge, with many nobuls and states
+before hym, came rydynge royally. Than the people all about stedfastly
+behelde the kynge and cryed aloude: God saue the kynge: God saue the
+kynge. This villayne<a name="FNanchor_203_203" id="FNanchor_203_203"></a><a href="#Footnote_203_203" class="fnanchor">[203]</a> herynge them crye so, sayde: O where is the
+kynge, where is the kynge? Than one, shewynge hym the kynge, sayde:
+yonder is he, that rydeth upon the goodly whyte horse. Is that the kyng,
+quod the villayne? what, thou mockest me, quod he; me thinke that is a
+man in a peynted garment.</p>
+
+<p>By this tale ye may perceyue (as Lycurgus proued by experience) that
+nourysshynge, good bryngynge vp and exercyse ben more apte to leade
+folke to<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_ii57" id="Page_ii57">[Pg 57]</a></span> humanite and the doynge of honest thynges than Nature her
+selfe. They for the mooste part are noble, free, and vertuous, whiche in
+their youthe bene well nourysshed vp, and vertuously endoctryned.</p>
+
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<h3><a name="Of_the_courtier_that_bad_the_boy_holde_his_horse_xlii" id="Of_the_courtier_that_bad_the_boy_holde_his_horse_xlii"></a>&para; <i>Of the courtier that bad the boy holde his horse.</i> xlii.</h3>
+
+
+<p>&para; A courtier on a tyme that alyghted of his horse at an Inde<a name="FNanchor_204_204" id="FNanchor_204_204"></a><a href="#Footnote_204_204" class="fnanchor">[204]</a> gate
+sayde to a boye that stode therby: Ho, syr boye, holde my horse. The
+boye, as he had ben aferde, answered: O maister, this a fierce horse; is
+one able to holde him? Yes, quod the courtier, one may holde hym well
+inough. Well, quod the boye, if one be able inough, than I pray you
+holde hym your owne selfe.<a name="FNanchor_205_205" id="FNanchor_205_205"></a><a href="#Footnote_205_205" class="fnanchor">[205]</a></p>
+
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<h3><a name="Of_the_deceytfull_scriuener_xliii" id="Of_the_deceytfull_scriuener_xliii"></a>&para; <i>Of the deceytfull scriuener.</i> xliii.</h3>
+
+
+<p>&para; A certayne scriuener, whiche hadde but a bare lyuynge by his crafte,
+imagyned howe he myght gette money. So he came to a yonge man, and asked
+hym if he were payde x li. whiche a certayne man, that was deade,
+borowed and ought to paye his father in tyme paste. The yonge manne
+sayde<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_ii58" id="Page_ii58">[Pg 58]</a></span> there was no such duetye<a name="FNanchor_206_206" id="FNanchor_206_206"></a><a href="#Footnote_206_206" class="fnanchor">[206]</a> owynge in his father's name, that
+he knewe of. It is of trouthe, quod the scriuener: for here is the
+oblygacyon therof, whiche I made my selfe. He prouoked the yonge manne
+so moche, that he gaue hym money for the oblygation, and before the
+mayre he required the duetie. His sonne, that was named to be dettour,
+sayde playnely, that his father neuer borowed money: for if he had, it
+wolde appere by his bokes, after the marchantes' maner. And forth with
+he went to the scriuener and sayde to him, that he was a false man to
+write a thing that neuer was done. Sonne, sayde the scriuener, thou
+wotteste nat what was done that tyme: whan thy father borowed that somme
+of money, thou were nat borne: but he payde it agayne within thre
+monthes after, I made the quittance therof my selfe: wherby thy father
+is discharged. So the yonge man was faine to gyue hym money for the
+quittaunce. And whan he had shewed the quittaunce he was discharged of
+that greuance. Thus by his faire fraude he scraped money from them
+bothe.</p>
+
+<p>By this tale ye may se, that the children in this our tyme be very
+prudent to get money.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_ii59" id="Page_ii59">[Pg 59]</a></span></p>
+
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<h3><a name="Of_hym_that_saide_he_beleued_his_wyfe_better_than_other_that_she_was" id="Of_hym_that_saide_he_beleued_his_wyfe_better_than_other_that_she_was"></a>&para; <i>Of hym that saide he beleued his wyfe better than other, that she was chaste.</i> xliiii.</h3>
+
+
+
+<p>&para; A Certayne man, whose wyfe (as the voyce wente) was nat very chaste of
+her bodye, was warned of his frendes to loke better to the matter. The
+man wente home and sharpely rebuked his wyfe, and told her betwene them
+bothe, what his frendes had sayde. She, knowynge that periurye was no
+greatter offence than aduoutry,<a name="FNanchor_207_207" id="FNanchor_207_207"></a><a href="#Footnote_207_207" class="fnanchor">[207]</a> with wepynge and swerynge defended
+her honestie: and bare her husbande on hande, that they feyned those
+tales for enuye that they hadde to se them lyue so quietly. With those
+wordes her husbande was content and pleased. So yet an other tyme
+agayne, his frendes warned him of his wyfe, and badde hym rebuke and
+chastice her. To whome he sayd: I pray you trouble me no more with suche
+wordes. Telle me, whether knoweth better my wiue's fautes, you or she?
+They sayde: She. And she (quod he), whom I beleue better than you all,
+sayth playnly, that ye lye. This was well and<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_ii60" id="Page_ii60">[Pg 60]</a></span> wysely done: For one
+ought nat to gyue light credence to those thinges, wherin resteth
+perpetuall grefe of mynde.</p>
+
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<h3><a name="Of_hym_that_payde_his_dette_with_crienge_bea_xlv" id="Of_hym_that_payde_his_dette_with_crienge_bea_xlv"></a>&para; <i>Of hym that payde his dette with crienge bea.</i> xlv.</h3>
+
+
+<p>&para; There was a man on a tyme, which toke as moche ware of a marchaunt, as
+drewe to fyftie li. and riottously playde and spente the same awaye
+within shorte space. So whanne the day of payemente came, he hadde
+nother<a name="FNanchor_208_208" id="FNanchor_208_208"></a><a href="#Footnote_208_208" class="fnanchor">[208]</a> moneye nor ware to paye: wherfore he was arrested, and muste
+come before the Justyce; whan he sawe there was none other remedye, but
+that he shulde be constrayned eyther to pay the dette, or else to go to
+prison. Wherfore he went to a subtyle man of lawe, and shewed to hym his
+matter, and desyred of hym<a name="FNanchor_209_209" id="FNanchor_209_209"></a><a href="#Footnote_209_209" class="fnanchor">[209]</a> his counsayle and helpe. What wylt thou
+gyue me (quod the man of lawe), if I rydde the of this dette? By my
+faythe, sayde the dettour, v marke: and lo, here it is redy; as sone as
+I am quitte, ye shall haue hit. Good inough, quod the man of lawe; but
+thou muste be ruled by my counsaile, and thus do. Whan thou comest
+before the Justice, what som euer be saye<a name="FNanchor_210_210" id="FNanchor_210_210"></a><a href="#Footnote_210_210" class="fnanchor">[210]</a> vnto the, loke that<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_ii61" id="Page_ii61">[Pg 61]</a></span> thou
+answere to nothing, but cry bea styl: and lette me alone with the reste.
+Content, quod he.</p>
+
+<p>So, whan they were com before the Justice, he said to the dettour: doste
+thou owe this marchant this somme of money or no? Bea! quod he. What
+beste! (quod the Justice) answere to thy plaint, orels thou wilte be
+condemned. Bea! quod he agayne. Than his man of lawe stode forth, and
+sayd: Sir, this man is but an ideot. Who wolde beleue that this
+marchaunt, whiche is both wyse and subtyle, wolde truste this ideot,
+that can speke neuer a redy worde, of xl peny worth of ware? and so with
+suche reasons he perswaded the Justyce to caste the marchaunt in his
+owne action. So whan the sentence was gyuen, the man of lawe drewe the
+dettour asyde, and said: Lo, howe sayst thou nowe? Haue not I done well
+for the? Thou arte clere quitte of the dette that was demanded of the:
+wherfore giue me my money, and God be with the. Bea! quod he. What, quod
+the laweer, thou nedest not to crie bea no longer; thy matter is
+dispatched; all is at a poynt, there resteth nothynge but to gyue me my
+wages, that thou promysyddest. Bea! quod he agayne. I saye, quod the man
+of lawe, crie bea no longer nowe, but gyue me my money. Bea! quod he.
+Thus the man of lawe, neyther for fayre<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_ii62" id="Page_ii62">[Pg 62]</a></span> nor foule, coulde gette any
+other thinge of his client but Bea: wherfore all angerly he departed,
+and went his waye.</p>
+
+<p>By this tale ye may perceyue, that they whiche be the inuenters and
+diuisers of fraude and disceit, ben often times therby deceyued them
+selfe. And he, that hath hyd a snare to attrap an other with, hath hym
+selfe ben taken therin.</p>
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<h3><a name="Of_the_woman_that_appeled_fro_kyng_Philip_to_kynge_Philippe_xlvi" id="Of_the_woman_that_appeled_fro_kyng_Philip_to_kynge_Philippe_xlvi"></a>&para; <i>Of the woman that appeled fro kyng Philip to kynge Philippe.</i> xlvi.</h3>
+
+
+<p>&para; A woman, whiche [was] gyltlesse, on a tyme was condempned by kynge
+Philippe of Macedone, whan he was not sobre: wherfore she sayde: I
+appele. Whether,<a name="FNanchor_211_211" id="FNanchor_211_211"></a><a href="#Footnote_211_211" class="fnanchor">[211]</a> quod the kynge? To kynge Philippe, quod she; but
+that is whan he is more sobre and better aduysed; whiche sayenge caused
+the kynge to loke better on the matter, and to do her ryght.</p>
+
+<p>This wryteth Val. Maximus. But Plutarche sayth, it was a man, and kynge
+Philip was halfe a slepe, whan he gaue sentence.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_ii63" id="Page_ii63">[Pg 63]</a></span></p>
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<h3><a name="Of_the_olde_woman_that_prayde_for_the_welfare_of_the_tyrant_Denise" id="Of_the_olde_woman_that_prayde_for_the_welfare_of_the_tyrant_Denise"></a>&para; <i>Of the olde woman, that prayde for the welfare of the tyrant Denise.</i> xlvii.</h3>
+
+
+
+<p>&para; What tyme Denyse<a name="FNanchor_212_212" id="FNanchor_212_212"></a><a href="#Footnote_212_212" class="fnanchor">[212]</a> the tyranne raygned, for his cruelte and
+intollerable dealynge he was hated of all the<a name="FNanchor_213_213" id="FNanchor_213_213"></a><a href="#Footnote_213_213" class="fnanchor">[213]</a> cite of Syracuse, and
+euery body wysshed his dethe, saue one olde woman, the whiche euery
+morning praid God to saue him in good life and helth. Whan he vnderstode
+that she so dyd, he meruailed greatly at her vndeserued beniuolence:
+wherfore he sente for her, and asked, why and howe he had deserued, that
+she prayde for hym? She answered and sayd: I do it nat with out a cause.
+For, whan I was a mayde, we had a tyran raignynge ouer us, whose death I
+greatly desyred; whan he was slayne, there succided an other yet more
+cruell than he, out of whose gouernance to be also deliuered I thought
+it a hygh benifyte. The thyrde is thy selfe, that haste begon to raygne
+ouer vs more importunately<a name="FNanchor_214_214" id="FNanchor_214_214"></a><a href="#Footnote_214_214" class="fnanchor">[214]</a> than either of the other two. Thus,
+fearynge leest, whan thou arte gone, a worse shuld succede and reigne
+ouer vs, I praye God dayly to preserue the in helthe.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_ii64" id="Page_ii64">[Pg 64]</a></span></p>
+
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<h3><a name="Of_the_phisitian_Eumonus_xlviii" id="Of_the_phisitian_Eumonus_xlviii"></a>&para; <i>Of the phisitian Eumonus.</i> xlviii.</h3>
+
+
+<p>&para; A phisitian called Eumonus tolde a sicke man, that laye in great
+payne, that he coulde nat scape, but he muste nedes dye of that disese.
+This sicke man within a whyle after, nat by the phisitians helpe, but by
+the wille of God, guerysshed<a name="FNanchor_215_215" id="FNanchor_215_215"></a><a href="#Footnote_215_215" class="fnanchor">[215]</a> and was holle of his disease: howe be
+hit, he was verye lowe and bare<a name="FNanchor_216_216" id="FNanchor_216_216"></a><a href="#Footnote_216_216" class="fnanchor">[216]</a> broughte. And as he walked forth on
+a daye, he met the same phisytian, whiche, doubtynge whether hit were
+the same sycke man or nat, sayd: Arte nat thou Gaius? yes, truelye, quod
+he. Arte thou alyue or deed, sayde the phisitian? I am deed, quod he.
+What doste thou here than, said the phisitian? Bycause, quod he, that I
+haue experience of many thinges, God hath commanded me that I shulde
+come and take vp all the phisitians that I can get, to him. Whiche
+sayenge made Eumonus as pale as asshes for fere. Than Gaius sayd to him:
+drede thou nat, Eumonus, thoughe I sayd all phisitians: for there is no
+man that hath wytte, that wylle take the for one.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_ii65" id="Page_ii65">[Pg 65]</a></span></p>
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<h3><a name="Of_Socrates_and_his_scoldinge_wyfe_xlix" id="Of_Socrates_and_his_scoldinge_wyfe_xlix"></a>&para; <i>Of Socrates and his scoldinge wyfe.</i> xlix.</h3>
+
+
+<p>&para; Laertius wryteth, that the wyse man Socrates had a coursed scoldinge
+wyfe, called Xantippe, the whiche on a daye after she hadde alto<a name="FNanchor_217_217" id="FNanchor_217_217"></a><a href="#Footnote_217_217" class="fnanchor">[217]</a>
+chydde him powred a<br /> * * * * * potte on his heed. He, takynge all
+paciently, sayde: dyd nat I tell you that, whan I herde Xantippe thonder
+so fast, that it wolde rayne anone after?</p>
+
+<p>Wherby ye maye se, that the wyser a man is, the more pacience he taketh.
+The wyse poet Virgil sayth: all fortune by suffrance must be ouercome.</p>
+
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<h3><a name="Of_the_phisitian_that_bare_his_paciente_on_honde_he_had_eaten_an" id="Of_the_phisitian_that_bare_his_paciente_on_honde_he_had_eaten_an"></a>&para; <i>Of the phisitian that bare his paciente on honde, he had eaten an asse.</i> l.</h3>
+
+
+<p>&para; A Phisitian, which had but smalle lerning, vsed whan he came to viset
+his pacientes to touche the pulce; and if any appayred, he wolde lay the
+blame on the paciente, and beare him on hande,<a name="FNanchor_218_218" id="FNanchor_218_218"></a><a href="#Footnote_218_218" class="fnanchor">[218]</a> that he did eate
+fygges, apples, or some other thinge that he forbade: and bicause the
+pacientes other whyle confessed the same, they thought he<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_ii66" id="Page_ii66">[Pg 66]</a></span> had ben a
+very connynge man. His seruante hadde great maruayle, howe he parceyued
+that, and desyred his mayster to telle hym, whether he knewe hit by
+touching of the pulce, orels by some other hygher knowlege. Than sayde
+his mayster: for the good seruice that thou haste done me, I wyll open
+to the this secrete point. Whan I come in to the pacientes chamber, I
+loke al a bout: and, if I spye in the flore shales,<a name="FNanchor_219_219" id="FNanchor_219_219"></a><a href="#Footnote_219_219" class="fnanchor">[219]</a> parynge of
+chese, of aples, or of peares, or any other scrappes, anone I
+coniecte,<a name="FNanchor_220_220" id="FNanchor_220_220"></a><a href="#Footnote_220_220" class="fnanchor">[220]</a> that the paciente hath eaten thereof. And so to th' ende
+I wold be blameles, I lay the faute on theyr mysdiettynge.</p>
+
+<p>Nat longe after, the same seruaunte toke on hym to practise physike,
+whyche in lyke maner blamed his pacientes, and sayde, that they kepte
+nat the diete that he gaue them; and he bare them on hande that they
+yete some what, wherof he sawe the scrappes in the flore. On a tyme he
+cam to a poure man of the countre, and promysed to make him hole, if he
+wolde be gouerned after him, and sa gaue him to drinke I wote nat what,
+and went his waye tyll on<a name="FNanchor_221_221" id="FNanchor_221_221"></a><a href="#Footnote_221_221" class="fnanchor">[221]</a> the morowe. Whan he came agayne, he
+founde the man sicker than euer he was. The rude fole, nat knowinge the
+cause, behelde here and there aboute, and whan he coude<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_ii67" id="Page_ii67">[Pg 67]</a></span> se no skrappes
+nor parynges, he was sore troubled in his mynde. So at the last he
+espied a saddel vnder the bed. Than said he all a loude, that he hadde
+at length parceyued, howe the sicke man enpayred: he hath so excessiuely
+passed diete (quod he), that I wonder he is nat deed. How so, quod they?
+Marye, quod he, ye haue made him to eate an holle asse! Lo, where the
+saddell lyethe yet vnder the bedde. For he thoughte the saddell had be
+lefte of the asse, as bones are of fleshe. For which folysshnes he was
+well laughed to skorne and mocked.</p>
+
+<p>Thus as a good faythfull phisitian is worthy of greate honour: for
+truely of hym dependethe the greattest parte of mans helthe, so lyke
+wyse a folysshe and an vnlerned, that thynkethe to cure with wordes,
+that he ought to do with herbes, is nat onely worthy to be deryded and
+mocked, but also punysshed: for nothynge is more perillous.</p>
+
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<h3><a name="Of_the_inholders222_wyfe_and_her_ii_louers_li" id="Of_the_inholders222_wyfe_and_her_ii_louers_li"></a>&para; <i>Of the inholders<a name="FNanchor_222_222" id="FNanchor_222_222"></a><a href="#Footnote_222_222" class="fnanchor">[222]</a> wyfe and her ii louers.</i> li.</h3>
+
+
+<p>&para; Nere vnto Florence dwelled an inholder, whos wyfe was nat very
+dangerous<a name="FNanchor_223_223" id="FNanchor_223_223"></a><a href="#Footnote_223_223" class="fnanchor">[223]</a> of her tayle. Vpon a nyghte as she was a bed with one of
+her louers, there came a nother to haue lyen with her. Whan<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_ii68" id="Page_ii68">[Pg 68]</a></span> she herde
+him come vp the ladder, she met him, and bade hym go thence, for she
+hadde no tyme than to fulfylle his pleasure. But for all her wordes he
+wolde nat go a waye, but stylle preaced<a name="FNanchor_224_224" id="FNanchor_224_224"></a><a href="#Footnote_224_224" class="fnanchor">[224]</a> to come in. So longe they
+stode chydinge, that the good man came vpon them, and asked them why
+they brauled so. The woman, nat unprouyded of a disceytefull answere,
+sayde: Syr, this man wolde come in per force to slee or myschiefe an
+other, that is fled in to our house for succoure, and hitherto I haue
+kepte him backe. Whan he, that was within, herde her saye so, he beganne
+to plucke vp his harte and say, he wold be a wreked<a name="FNanchor_225_225" id="FNanchor_225_225"></a><a href="#Footnote_225_225" class="fnanchor">[225]</a> on him
+withoute. And he that was withoute made a face, as he wolde kylle him
+that was within. The folysshe man, her husbande, enquered the cause of
+theyr debate, and toke vpon him to sette them at one.<a name="FNanchor_226_226" id="FNanchor_226_226"></a><a href="#Footnote_226_226" class="fnanchor">[226]</a> And so the
+good sely man spake and made the pese betwene them both; yea, and
+farther he gaue them a gallon of wyne, addynge to his wiues aduoutry the
+losse of his wine.</p>
+
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<h3><a name="Of_hym_that_healed_franticke_men_lii" id="Of_hym_that_healed_franticke_men_lii"></a>&para; <i>Of hym that healed franticke men.</i> lii.</h3>
+
+
+<p>&para; There dwelled a man in Italy, whiche vsed to heale men, that were
+franticke, on this maner.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_ii69" id="Page_ii69">[Pg 69]</a></span> He had within his house a gutter, or a
+ditche, full of water, wherin he wold put them, some to the middell
+legge, some to the knee, and some dypper, as they were madde.<a name="FNanchor_227_227" id="FNanchor_227_227"></a><a href="#Footnote_227_227" class="fnanchor">[227]</a> So
+one that was well amended, and wente aboute the house to do one thinge
+and other for his meate, as he stode on a tyme at the gate, lokinge in
+to the strete, he sawe a gentyll man ryde by with a great sorte<a name="FNanchor_228_228" id="FNanchor_228_228"></a><a href="#Footnote_228_228" class="fnanchor">[228]</a> of
+haukes and houndes; the which he called to him and said: you gentyll
+man, whither go ye? On huntynge, quod the gentyll man. What do you with
+all those kytes and dogges, quod he? They be haukes and houndes, quod
+the gentyll man. Wherfore kepe you them, quod the other? For my
+pleasure, quod the gentyl man. What costeth it you a yere to kepe them,
+quod the other? XL duckettes, quod the gentyll man. And what do they
+profytte you, quod he? Foure duckettes, quod the gentyll man. Gette the
+lyghtlye hense, quod the madde man: for, if my mayster come and fynde
+the here, he wyll put the in to the gutter vp to the throte.</p>
+
+<p>This tale toucheth suche young gentyll menne, that dispende ouer moche
+good<a name="FNanchor_229_229" id="FNanchor_229_229"></a><a href="#Footnote_229_229" class="fnanchor">[229]</a> on haukes, houndes, and other trifils.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_ii70" id="Page_ii70">[Pg 70]</a></span></p>
+
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<h3><a name="Of_hym_that_sayde_he_was_not_worthy_to_open_the_gate_to_the_kynge" id="Of_hym_that_sayde_he_was_not_worthy_to_open_the_gate_to_the_kynge"></a>&para; <i>Of hym that sayde he was not worthy to open the gate to the kynge.</i> liii.</h3>
+
+
+
+<p>&para; As a kynge of Englande hunted on a tyme in the countie of Kent, he
+hapte to come rydynge to a great gate, wherby stode a husbande man of
+the countrey, to whom the kynge sayde: good felowe, putte open the gate.
+The man perceyuynge it was the kynge, sayde: no, and please your grace,
+I am nat worthy; but I wyll go fetche Mayster Couper, that dwelleth nat
+past ij myles hense, and he shal open to you the gate.</p>
+
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<h3><a name="Of_mayster_Uauasour_and_Turpin_his_man_liiii" id="Of_mayster_Uauasour_and_Turpin_his_man_liiii"></a>&para; <i>Of mayster Uauasour and Turpin his man.</i> liiii.</h3>
+
+
+<p>&para; Mayster Vauasour,<a name="FNanchor_230_230" id="FNanchor_230_230"></a><a href="#Footnote_230_230" class="fnanchor">[230]</a> sometyme a iudge of Englande, hadde a seruaunt
+with hym called Turpin, whiche had done hym seruyce many yeres; wherfore
+he came vnto his mayster on a tyme, and sayde to hym on this wyse: syr,
+I haue done you seruice longe; wherfore I pray you gyue me somwhat to
+helpe me in myn old age. Turpin,<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_ii71" id="Page_ii71">[Pg 71]</a></span> quod he, thou sayst trouthe, and
+hereon I haue thought many a tyme; I wyll tell the, what thou shalt do.
+Nowe shortly I must ride vp to London; and, if thou wilt beare my costis
+thether, I wyll surely gyue the suche a thing, that shall be worth to
+the an hundred pounde. I am contente, quod Turpin. So all the waye as he
+rode Turpin payd his costis, tyll they came to theyr last lodginge: and
+there after souper he cam to his mayster and sayde: sir, I haue born
+your costes hitherto, as ye badde me; nowe, I pray you let me se, what
+thynge hit is, that shulde be worthe an hundred pounde to me. Dyd I
+promise the suche a thynge, quod his mayster? ye, forsoth, quod Turpin.
+Shewe me thy wrytinge, quod maister Vauasour. I haue none, sayde Turpin.
+Than thou arte lyke to haue nothinge, sayde his maister. And lerne this
+at me.<a name="FNanchor_231_231" id="FNanchor_231_231"></a><a href="#Footnote_231_231" class="fnanchor">[231]</a> Whan sa euer thou makest a bargayne with a man, loke that
+thou take sure wrytynge, and be well ware howe thou makest a writynge to
+any man. This poynte hath vayled<a name="FNanchor_232_232" id="FNanchor_232_232"></a><a href="#Footnote_232_232" class="fnanchor">[232]</a> me an hundred pounde in my dayes:
+and so hit may the. Whan Turpin sawe there was none other remedy, he
+helde him selfe contente. On the morowe Turpin taryed a lytelle behynde
+his mayster to reken with the hostes, where they laye, and of her he
+borowed so<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_ii72" id="Page_ii72">[Pg 72]</a></span> moche money on his maysters skarlet cloke, as drewe to<a name="FNanchor_233_233" id="FNanchor_233_233"></a><a href="#Footnote_233_233" class="fnanchor">[233]</a>
+all the costes that they spente by the waye. Mayster Vauasour had nat
+ryden past ii myle but that it began to rayne; wherfore he calledde for
+his cloke.&mdash;His other seruauntes saide, Turpin was behinde, and had hit
+with him. So they houedde<a name="FNanchor_234_234" id="FNanchor_234_234"></a><a href="#Footnote_234_234" class="fnanchor">[234]</a> vnder a tre, tylle Turpin ouer toke them.
+Whan he was come, Mayster Vauasour all angerly sayde: thou knaue, why
+comest thou nat aweye with my cloke? Syr, and please you, quod Turpin, I
+haue layde hit to gage<a name="FNanchor_235_235" id="FNanchor_235_235"></a><a href="#Footnote_235_235" class="fnanchor">[235]</a> for your costes al the waye. Why, knaue,
+quod his mayster, diddiste thou nat promyse to beare my charges to
+London? Dyd I, quod Turpin? ye, quod his mayster, that thou diddest. Let
+se, shew me your wriytinge therof, quod Turpin; wherto his mayster, I
+thinke, answered but lytell.</p>
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<h3><a name="Of_hym_that_sought_his_wyfe_agaynst_the_streme_lv" id="Of_hym_that_sought_his_wyfe_agaynst_the_streme_lv"></a>&para; <i>Of hym that sought his wyfe agaynst the streme.</i> lv.</h3>
+
+
+<p>&para; A man the[re] was whose wyfe, as she came ouer a bridg, fell in to the
+ryuer and was drowned; wherfore he wente and sought for her vpward
+against the stream, wherat his neighboures, that<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_ii73" id="Page_ii73">[Pg 73]</a></span> wente with hym,
+maruayled, and sayde he dyd nought, he shulde go seke her downeward with
+the streme. Naye, quod he, I am sure I shall neuer fynde her that waye:
+for she was so waywarde and so contrary to euery thynge, while she
+lyuedde, that I knowe very well nowe she is deed, she wyll go a gaynste
+the stream.</p>
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<h3><a name="Of_hym_that_at_a_skyrmyshe_defended_him_with_his_feet_lvi" id="Of_hym_that_at_a_skyrmyshe_defended_him_with_his_feet_lvi"></a>&para; <i>Of hym that at a skyrmyshe defended him with his feet.</i> lvi.</h3>
+
+
+<p>&para; A lustye yonge gentyll man of France, that on a tyme was at a
+skyrmysshe, and defended him selfe valyantly with his feet, came in to
+the courte, in to a chambre amonge ladies, with a goodly ringe vpon his
+fynger, to whom a fayre lady sayde: syr, why weare ye that rynge vpon
+your fynger? Wherfore aske you, madame, quod he? Bycause (sayde she)
+your feet dyd you better seruice than your handes at the last skyrmysshe
+that ye were at.</p>
+
+<p>By this tale yonge men may lerne to beare them well and valyantly for
+drede of reproche. Better is it with worshyp to dye than with shame to
+lyue, albe hit that Demosthenes sayde: he that fleethe cometh agayne to
+batayle.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_ii74" id="Page_ii74">[Pg 74]</a></span></p>
+
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<h3><a name="Of_hym_that_wolde_gyue_a_songe_for_his_dyner_lvii" id="Of_hym_that_wolde_gyue_a_songe_for_his_dyner_lvii"></a>&para; <i>Of hym that wolde gyue a songe for his dyner.</i> lvii.</h3>
+
+
+<p>&para; There came a felowe on a tyme in to a tauerne, and called for meate.
+So, whan he had well dyned, the tauerner came to reken and to haue his
+money, to whom the felowe sayde, he had no money, but I wyll, quod he,
+contente you with songes. Naye, quod the tauerner, I nede no songes, I
+must haue money. Whye, quod the felowe, if I synge a songe to your
+pleasure, will ye nat than be contente? yes, quod the tauerner. So he
+began, and songe thre or foure balades, and asked if he were pleased?
+No, sayde the tauerner. Than he opened his pourse, and beganne to synge
+thus:</p>
+
+<p>
+<span style="margin-left: 1em;">Whan you haue dyned make no delaye</span><br />
+<span style="margin-left: 1em;">But paye your oste, and go your waye.</span><br />
+</p>
+
+<p>Dothe this songe please you, quod he? Yes, marye, said the tauerner,
+this pleaseth me well. Than, as couenant was (quod the felowe), ye be
+paide for your vitaile. And so he departed, and wente his waye.</p>
+
+<p>This tale sheweth, that a man may be to hastye in makynge of a bargayne
+and couenantynge; and therfore a man ought to take good hede, what<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_ii75" id="Page_ii75">[Pg 75]</a></span> he
+sayth: for one worde may bynde a man to great inconuenience, if the
+matter be weighty.</p>
+
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<h3><a name="Of_the_foole_that_thought_hym_selfe_deed_lviii" id="Of_the_foole_that_thought_hym_selfe_deed_lviii"></a>&para; <i>Of the foole that thought hym selfe deed.</i> lviii.</h3>
+
+
+<p>&para; There was a felowe dwellynge at Florence, called Nigniaca, whiche was
+nat verye wyse, nor all a foole, but merye and iocunde. A sorte<a name="FNanchor_236_236" id="FNanchor_236_236"></a><a href="#Footnote_236_236" class="fnanchor">[236]</a> of
+yonge men, for to laughe and pastyme, appoynted to gether to make hym
+beleue that he was sycke. So, whan they were agreed howe they wolde do,
+one of them mette hym in the mornynge, as he came out of his house, and
+bad him good morowe, and than asked him, if he were nat yl at ease? No,
+quod the foole, I ayle nothynge, I thanke God. By my faith, ye haue a
+sickely pale colour, quod the other, and wente his waye.</p>
+
+<p>Anone after, an other of them mette hym, and asked hym if he had nat an
+ague: for your face and colour (quod he) sheweth that ye be very sycke.
+Than the foole beganne a lyttel to doubt, whether he were sycke or no:
+for he halfe beleued that they sayd trouth. Whan he had gone a lytel
+farther, the thyrde man mette hym, and sayde: Jesu! manne, what do you
+out of your bed? ye<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_ii76" id="Page_ii76">[Pg 76]</a></span> loke as ye wolde nat lyue an houre to an ende. Nowe
+he doubted greatly, and thought verily in his mynde, that he had hadde
+some sharpe ague; wherfore he stode styll and wolde go no further; and,
+as he stode, the fourth man came and sayde: Jesu! man, what dost thou
+here, and arte so sycke? Gette the home to thy bedde: for I parceyue
+thou canste nat lyue an houre to an ende. Than the foles harte beganne
+to feynte,<a name="FNanchor_237_237" id="FNanchor_237_237"></a><a href="#Footnote_237_237" class="fnanchor">[237]</a> and [he] prayde this laste man that came to hym to helpe
+hym home. Yes, quod he, I wyll do as moche for the as for myn owne
+brother. So home he brought hym, and layde hym in his bed, and than he
+fared with hym selfe, as thoughe he wolde gyue vp the gooste. Forth with
+came the other felowes, and saide he hadde well done to lay hym in his
+bedde. Anone after, came one whiche toke on hym to be a phisitian;
+whiche, touchynge the pulse, sayde the malady was so vehement, that he
+coulde nat lyue an houre. So they, standynge aboute the bedde, sayde one
+to an other: nowe he gothe his waye: for his speche and syght fayle him;
+by and by he wyll yelde vp the goste. Therfore lette vs close his eyes,
+and laye his hands a crosse, and cary hym forth to be buryed. And than
+they sayde lamentynge<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_ii77" id="Page_ii77">[Pg 77]</a></span> one to an other: O! what a losse haue we of this
+good felowe, our frende?</p>
+
+<p>The foole laye stylle, as one [that] were deade; yea, and thought in his
+mynde, that he was deade in dede. So they layde hym on a bere, and
+caryed hym through the cite. And whan any body asked them what they
+caryed, they sayd the corps of Nigniaca to his graue. And euer as they
+went, people drew about them. Among the prece<a name="FNanchor_238_238" id="FNanchor_238_238"></a><a href="#Footnote_238_238" class="fnanchor">[238]</a> ther was a tauerners
+boy, the whiche, whan he herde that it was the cors of Nigniaca, he said
+to them: O! what a vile bestly knaue, and what a stronge thefe is deed!
+by the masse, he was well worthy to haue ben hanged longe ago. Whan the
+fole harde those wordes, he put out his heed and sayd: I wys, horeson,
+if I were alyue nowe, as I am deed, I wolde proue the a false lyer to
+thy face. They, that caryed him, began to laugh so hartilye, that they
+sette downe the bere, and wente theyr waye.</p>
+
+<p>By this tale ye maye se, what the perswasion of many doth. Certaynly he
+is very wyse, that is nat inclined to foly, if he be stered therevnto by
+a multitude. Yet sapience is founde in fewe persones: and they be
+lyghtly<a name="FNanchor_239_239" id="FNanchor_239_239"></a><a href="#Footnote_239_239" class="fnanchor">[239]</a> olde sobre men.<a name="FNanchor_240_240" id="FNanchor_240_240"></a><a href="#Footnote_240_240" class="fnanchor">[240]</a><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_ii78" id="Page_ii78">[Pg 78]</a></span></p>
+
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<h3><a name="Of_the_olde_man_and_his_sonne_that_brought_his_asse_to_the_towne_to" id="Of_the_olde_man_and_his_sonne_that_brought_his_asse_to_the_towne_to"></a>&para; <i>Of the olde man and his sonne that brought his asse to the towne to sylle.</i> lix.</h3>
+
+
+
+<p>&para; An olde man on a tyme and a lyttell boye his sonne droue a litel asse
+before them, whiche he purposed to sylle at the markette towne, that
+they went to. And bicause he so dyd, the folkes that wrought by the way
+syde, blamed hym; wherfore he set vp his sonne, and went hym selfe on
+fote. Other, that sawe that, called hym foole, by cause he lette the
+yonge boye ryde, and he, beynge so aged, to goo a foote. Than he toke
+downe the boye, and lepte vp and rode hym selfe. Whanne he hadde rydden
+a lyttell waye, he harde other that blamed hym, bycause he made the
+lyttell yonge boye ronne after as a seruaunte, and he his father to
+ryde. Than he sette vppe the boye behynde hym, and so rode forthe.</p>
+
+<p>Anone he mette with other, that asked hym if the asse were his owne, by
+whiche wordes he coniected, that he did nat wel so to ouercharge the
+lyttell sely asse, that vnethe<a name="FNanchor_241_241" id="FNanchor_241_241"></a><a href="#Footnote_241_241" class="fnanchor">[241]</a> was able to beare one. Thus he,
+troubled with their dyuers and manyfolde opinions; whiche, neither with
+his asse vacant, nor he alone, nor his sonne alone, nor<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_ii79" id="Page_ii79">[Pg 79]</a></span> bothe to gether
+rydyng at ones on the asse, coulde passe forth with out detraction and
+blame. Wherfore at last he bounde the asse[s] feet to gether, and put
+through a staffe; and so he and his sonne began to beare the asse
+betwene them on their shulders to the towne. The noueltie of whiche
+syght caused euery body to laughe and blame the folysshenes of them
+both. The sely olde man was so sore agreued that, as he sat and rested
+hym on a ryuers syde, he threwe his asse in to the water; and so whan he
+had drowned his asse he tourned home agayne. Thus the good man,
+desyrynge to please euerye bodye, contentynge none at all, loste his
+asse.</p>
+
+<p>By this tale appereth playnelye, that they, whiche commyt them selfe to
+the opinion of the common people, ben oppressed with great myserye and
+seruage: for how is it possible to please all, whan euerye man hath a
+dyuers opinion, and dyuerslye iudgeth and that was well knowen to the
+poet, whan he sayde:</p>
+
+<p class="center">
+<i>Scinditur incertum studia in contraria vulgus.</i>
+</p>
+
+<p>And as Cicero, Persius, and Flaccus say: as many men so many myndes: as
+many heedes so many wyttes. That, that pleaseth one, displeaseth an
+other: Fewe alowe that that they loue nat: and<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_ii80" id="Page_ii80">[Pg 80]</a></span> that that a man aloweth,
+he thynketh good. Therfore the beste is, that euery man liue well, as a
+good Christen man shulde, and care nat for the vayne wordes and
+ianglynge of the people. For bablynge (as Plutarchus sayth) is a greuous
+disease, and harde to be remedied. For that that shulde heale it (which
+is wordes of wisdome) cureth them that harkneth there vnto; but pratlers
+wille here none but them selfe.</p>
+
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<h3><a name="Of_him_that_sought_his_asse_and_rode_on_his_backe_lx" id="Of_him_that_sought_his_asse_and_rode_on_his_backe_lx"></a>&para; <i>Of him that sought his asse and rode on his backe.</i> lx.</h3>
+
+
+<p>&para; There was in the countrey of Florence an husbande man, that vsed to
+carye corne to the market vpon many lytell asses. On a tyme as he came
+home warde, bycause he was somewhat werye, to ease him selfe, he rode on
+one the strongest of them. And as he rode, dryuinge his asses before
+him, he counted them, and forgot the asse that he rode on; wherfore he
+thought still that he lacked one. Thus sore troubled in his mynde, he
+bad his wyfe set vp his asses, and hastily rode agayne backe to the
+towne vii myles of, to seke the asse that he rode on. He asked euery
+body that he met, if they sawe an asse straye alone. Whan he herde euery
+bodye saye they sawe none suche,<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_ii81" id="Page_ii81">[Pg 81]</a></span> makynge great sorowe, he retourned
+home agayne. At laste, whan he was alyghted his wyfe parceyued and
+shewedde hym playnlye, that the asse, that he rode on, was the same that
+he soughte, and made suche sorowe fore.</p>
+
+<p>This ieste may be well applied vnto suche as note the defautes, that
+they lyghtly<a name="FNanchor_242_242" id="FNanchor_242_242"></a><a href="#Footnote_242_242" class="fnanchor">[242]</a> spy in other, and take none hede, nor can nat se, what
+ils they haue or<a name="FNanchor_243_243" id="FNanchor_243_243"></a><a href="#Footnote_243_243" class="fnanchor">[243]</a> bene spotted with them selfe.</p>
+
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<h3><a name="The_answere_of_Fabius_to_Liuius_lxi" id="The_answere_of_Fabius_to_Liuius_lxi"></a>&para; <i>The answere of Fabius to Liuius.</i> lxi.</h3>
+
+
+<p>&para; Whan Anniball, the capitayne of Cartage, had conquered Tarent (a towne
+perteinyng to the Romayns), all saue the castell, and had lefte a
+garnison to kepe it, whan the worthy Romayne Fabius had knowelege
+therof, he pryuely conducted an armye thether, and got the towne agayne,
+and pylled<a name="FNanchor_244_244" id="FNanchor_244_244"></a><a href="#Footnote_244_244" class="fnanchor">[244]</a> it. Than M. Liuius that kepte the castell with the
+garnison, sayde bostynge him selfe, that Fabius had gotte the towne
+through him and<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_ii82" id="Page_ii82">[Pg 82]</a></span> his helpe. You saye trouth, quod Fabius: for if you had
+nat loste the towne, I shulde neuer haue gotte hit.<a name="FNanchor_245_245" id="FNanchor_245_245"></a><a href="#Footnote_245_245" class="fnanchor">[245]</a></p>
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<h3>&para; <i>The answere of Poltis, the kynge of Thrace, to the Troyan
+embassadors.</i><a name="FNanchor_246_246" id="FNanchor_246_246"></a><a href="#Footnote_246_246" class="fnanchor">[246]</a> lxii.</h3>
+
+
+<p>&para; Plutarche lyke wyse reherseth that, durynge the warre of Troy, the
+Grekes and also the Troians sent ambassadours to a kynge of Thrace
+calledde Poltis, whiche kynge answered th ambassadours and bade, that
+Alexandre shulde delyuer agayne Helayne (for she was the cause of the
+warre), and he wolde gyue him ii fayre wyues for her.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_ii83" id="Page_ii83">[Pg 83]</a></span></p>
+
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<h3><a name="The_wyse_answere_of_Hanibal_to_kynge_Antiochus_concerninge_his_ryche" id="The_wyse_answere_of_Hanibal_to_kynge_Antiochus_concerninge_his_ryche"></a>&para; <i>The wyse answere of Hanibal to kynge Antiochus, concerninge his ryche armye.</i> lxiii.</h3>
+
+
+
+<p>&para; Whan kynge Antiochus had prepared to make warre to the Romayns, he
+caused his armye to mustre before Anniball. So they shewed and mustred,
+both horse men and fote men; of whose ryche and sumptuous armour and
+apparaile al the felde glistred and shone. How saye you, quod the kynge
+to Hanibal, is nat this armye sufficient ynough for the Romayns? Yes,
+quod Haniball, and though they were the moste couetous of all the
+worlde. The kynge mente one thing, and he answered an other.<a name="FNanchor_247_247" id="FNanchor_247_247"></a><a href="#Footnote_247_247" class="fnanchor">[247]</a></p>
+
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<h3><a name="The_wordes_of_Popilius_the_Romayn_embassadour_to_Antiochus_the" id="The_wordes_of_Popilius_the_Romayn_embassadour_to_Antiochus_the"></a>&para; <i>The wordes of Popilius the Romayn embassadour to Antiochus the kynge.</i> lxiiii.</h3>
+
+
+
+<p>&para; One C. Popilius was sente vp[o]n a tyme by the Senatours of Rome with
+letters to Antiochus the kynge of Syrye, wherin the kyng was commaunded
+to calle his armye backe agayne oute of Aegipte: and that he shulde
+suffer the chyldren of Ptolome and theyr realme in peace. As th
+embassadour<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_ii84" id="Page_ii84">[Pg 84]</a></span> came by the kynges tentes and pauylyons, Antiochus a good
+waye of saluted him, but he did nat salute the kynge agayne, but
+delyuered to him his letters. Whan the kynge hadde redde the letters, he
+sayde, that he muste take counsayle, before he made him an answere.
+Popilius, with a rod that he had in his hande, made a compace aboute the
+kynge, and sayde: euen here standinge, take counsayle, and make me an
+answere. Euery man hadde meruayle at the grauite and stout stomacke of
+the man; and whan Antiochus was contente to do as the Romayns wolde haue
+hym, than Popilius both saluted and embraced him.<a name="FNanchor_248_248" id="FNanchor_248_248"></a><a href="#Footnote_248_248" class="fnanchor">[248]</a></p>
+
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<h3><a name="Of_him_that_loued_the_marchants_wyfe_lxv" id="Of_him_that_loued_the_marchants_wyfe_lxv"></a>&para; <i>Of him that loued the marchants wyfe.</i> lxv.</h3>
+
+
+<p>&para; Ther was a yonge lusty gentyll man vpon a tyme that was ryght amorous,
+and loued a certayne marchauntes wyfe oute of all measure, in so moch
+that he folowed her to the churche and other places, but he durste neuer
+speake. At the laste he, with two or thre of his felowes, folowed her
+to<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_ii85" id="Page_ii85">[Pg 85]</a></span> a fryers, where he hadde tyme and place conueniente to speake thre
+or four wordes to her, that he before had deuysed. So one of his felowes
+sayde: go nowe, speake to her. But he stode styll all astonied. They
+egged<a name="FNanchor_249_249" id="FNanchor_249_249"></a><a href="#Footnote_249_249" class="fnanchor">[249]</a> and prouoked him so moche, that at last he wente vnto her,
+and, clene forgettynge those wordes that he had thoughte to haue spoken,
+he said to her on this wise: maistres, I am your owne lytel seruante;
+wherat she smyled and sayd: syr, I nede nat your seruyce: for I haue
+seruantes inow at home, that can brusshe, sponge, wasshe and do all my
+other busines. The whiche answere and folysshe basshemente of the gentyl
+man caused his felowes to laugh hartelye. This maner of folye was well
+knowen to the poet, whan he sayde:</p>
+
+<p>
+<span style="margin-left: 1em;"><i>Incipit affari, mediaque in voce resistit.</i></span><br />
+</p>
+
+<p>
+<span style="margin-left: 1em;">Folysshe loue maketh folkes astonied</span><br />
+<span style="margin-left: 1em;">And eke to raue without remembrance</span><br />
+<span style="margin-left: 1em;">Whan they shulde speake, they bene abasshed</span><br />
+<span style="margin-left: 1em;">And of theyr wordes can make none vtterance</span><br />
+<span style="margin-left: 1em;">Nor be so hardye them selfe to auance</span><br />
+<span style="margin-left: 1em;">What tyme they se of her the swete face</span><br />
+<span style="margin-left: 1em;">Of whom the loue theyr hartes doth enbrace.</span><br />
+<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_ii86" id="Page_ii86">[Pg 86]</a></span></p>
+
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<h3><a name="Of_the_woman_that_couerd_her_heed_and_shewed_her_taile_lxvi" id="Of_the_woman_that_couerd_her_heed_and_shewed_her_taile_lxvi"></a>&para; <i>Of the woman that couerd her heed and shewed her taile.</i> lxvi.</h3>
+
+
+<p>&para; As a woman, that for a certayne impedimente had shaued her heed, sat
+in her house bare heed, one of her neighbours called her forth hastely
+into the strete, and for haste she forgotte to putte on her kerchefe.
+When her neighbour sawe her so, she blamed her for cominge abrode bare
+heed: wherfore she whypte vp her clothes ouer her heed. And so to couer
+her hed she shewed her * * *. They, that stode by, beganne to laugh at
+her folysshenes, whiche to hyde a lytell faute shewed a greatter.<a name="FNanchor_250_250" id="FNanchor_250_250"></a><a href="#Footnote_250_250" class="fnanchor">[250]</a></p>
+
+<p>This tale touchethe them, that wolde couer a smalle offence with a
+greatter wyckednesse; and as the prouerbe saythe: Stomble at a strawe,
+and leape ouer a blocke.</p>
+
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<h3><a name="Howe_Alexander_was_monysshed_to_slee_the_fyrste_that_he_mette" id="Howe_Alexander_was_monysshed_to_slee_the_fyrste_that_he_mette"></a>&para; <i>Howe Alexander was monysshed to slee the fyrste that he mette.</i> lxvii.</h3>
+
+
+
+<p>&para; Whan great Alexander wolde entre in to Perse lande with his armye, he
+counsayled with Apollo of his good spede:<a name="FNanchor_251_251" id="FNanchor_251_251"></a><a href="#Footnote_251_251" class="fnanchor">[251]</a> and by lotte<a name="FNanchor_252_252" id="FNanchor_252_252"></a><a href="#Footnote_252_252" class="fnanchor">[252]</a> he was
+warned, that he shulde commaunde to slee the fyrst that<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_ii87" id="Page_ii87">[Pg 87]</a></span> he mette, whan
+he issued out at a gate. Perchaunce, the fyrste that he mette was a man
+dryuynge an asse before hym. Incontinent the kyng commaunded to take and
+put hym to dethe. Whan the poore man sawe, that they wolde slee him, he
+said: what haue I done? Shall I that am an innocent [man] be putte to
+deathe? Alexander, to excuse his dede, sayde, he was warned by diuine
+monition to commaunde to slee the fyrste that he mette comynge out at
+that gate. If it be so, myghty kyng (quod the man), than the lotte
+dyuine hath ordeyned an other to suffre this deth and not me: for the
+lytel asse, that I droue before me, mette you fyrste.</p>
+
+<p>Whiche subtyle sayenge greatly pleased Alexander: for elles he had done
+amysse; and so he caused the beaste to be slayne.</p>
+
+<p>By this tale one may note, that it is better sometyme to be laste than
+fyrste.</p>
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<h3><a name="Howe_the_cite_of_Lamsac_was_saued_from_destruction_lxviii" id="Howe_the_cite_of_Lamsac_was_saued_from_destruction_lxviii"></a>&para; <i>Howe the cite of Lamsac was saued from destruction.</i> lxviii.</h3>
+
+
+<p>&para; As great Alexander on a tyme was fully purposed to haue vtterly
+distroyed a great cite, called Lamsac,<a name="FNanchor_253_253" id="FNanchor_253_253"></a><a href="#Footnote_253_253" class="fnanchor">[253]</a> he sawe his mayster
+Anaximenes<a name="FNanchor_254_254" id="FNanchor_254_254"></a><a href="#Footnote_254_254" class="fnanchor">[254]</a> come to<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_ii88" id="Page_ii88">[Pg 88]</a></span>warde him withoute the walles: and bicause the
+kynge perceyued manifestlye, that he came to entreate hym for the cite,
+he sware a great othe, that he wolde nat do that that he came to desyre
+hym fore. Than Anaximenes sayde: sir, I desyre your grace, that this
+same cite Lampsac may be vtterly distroyed. Through which sage and
+subtile sayeng the noble auncient citie was saued from ruyne and
+destruction.</p>
+
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<h3><a name="Howe_Demosthenes_defended_a_mayde_lxix" id="Howe_Demosthenes_defended_a_mayde_lxix"></a>&para; <i>Howe Demosthenes defended a mayde.</i> lxix.</h3>
+
+
+<p>&para; There were two men on a time, the whiche lefte a great somme of money
+in kepyng with a maiden on this condition, that she shulde nat delyuer
+hit agayne, excepte they came bothe to gether for hit. Nat lang after,
+one of them cam to hir mornyngly arayde, and sayde that his felowe was
+deed, and so required the money, and she delyuered it to hym. Shortly
+after came the tother man, and required to haue the moneye that was
+lefte with her in kepyng. The maiden was than so sorowfull, both for
+lacke of the money, and for one to defende her cause, that she thought
+to hange her selfe. But Demosthenes,<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_ii89" id="Page_ii89">[Pg 89]</a></span> that excellent oratour, spake for
+her and sayd: sir, this mayden is redy to quite her fidelite,<a name="FNanchor_255_255" id="FNanchor_255_255"></a><a href="#Footnote_255_255" class="fnanchor">[255]</a> and
+to deliuer agayne the money that was lefte with her in kepynge, so that
+thou wylt brynge thy felowe with the to resceyue it. But that he coude
+nat do.</p>
+
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<h3><a name="Of_him_that_desired_to_be_made_a_gentilman_lxx" id="Of_him_that_desired_to_be_made_a_gentilman_lxx"></a>&para; <i>Of him that desired to be made a gentilman.</i> lxx.</h3>
+
+
+<p>&para; There was a rude clubbysshe<a name="FNanchor_256_256" id="FNanchor_256_256"></a><a href="#Footnote_256_256" class="fnanchor">[256]</a> felowe, that longe had serued the
+duke of Orliance; wherfore he cam on a tyme to the duke, and desired to
+be made a gentyll man. To whom the duke answered: in good feyth, I may
+well make the ryche, but as for gentyl man I can neuer make the.<a name="FNanchor_257_257" id="FNanchor_257_257"></a><a href="#Footnote_257_257" class="fnanchor">[257]</a><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_ii90" id="Page_ii90">[Pg 90]</a></span></p>
+
+<p>By which wordes appereth, that goodes and riches do not make a gentyl
+man, but noble and vertuous conditions do.</p>
+
+
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<h3><a name="Of_the_gentyll_man_and_his_shrewde_wyfe_lxxi" id="Of_the_gentyll_man_and_his_shrewde_wyfe_lxxi"></a>&para; <i>Of the gentyll man and his shrewde wyfe.</i> lxxi.</h3>
+
+<p>&para; There was a certayne gentyll man, that had a cursed chydynge wyfe,
+that wente euery day, and complayned on hym to a religious man, the
+whiche religious man toke vpon hym by weye of confession to reconcile
+and accorde them to gether: and the gentyll man was very well contente,
+that he so shulde do, and came to him therfore. Whan the gentyll man was
+come, the religious man badde hym shewe his offences and trespaces. No,
+quod the gentyll man, that nedeth nat: for I knowe verye well my wyfe
+hath shewed vnto you all the offences that euer I dyd, and moche more.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_ii91" id="Page_ii91">[Pg 91]</a></span></p>
+
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<h3><a name="Of_the_two_yonge_men_that_rode_to_Walsyngham258_lxxii" id="Of_the_two_yonge_men_that_rode_to_Walsyngham258_lxxii"></a>&para; <i>Of the two yonge men that rode to Walsyngham.</i><a name="FNanchor_258_258" id="FNanchor_258_258"></a><a href="#Footnote_258_258" class="fnanchor">[258]</a> lxxii.</h3>
+
+
+<p>&para; One John Roynoldes<a name="FNanchor_259_259" id="FNanchor_259_259"></a><a href="#Footnote_259_259" class="fnanchor">[259]</a> rode oute of London vpon a tyme towarde
+Walsyngham, in company of a yonge man of the same cite, that hadde<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_ii92" id="Page_ii92">[Pg 92]</a></span> nat
+moche ben accustomed to ryde. So they came to an Inne, where a<a name="FNanchor_260_260" id="FNanchor_260_260"></a><a href="#Footnote_260_260" class="fnanchor">[260]</a>
+great companye was lodged. And in the mornynge whan euery man made hym
+redy to ryde, and some were on horsebacke setting forwarde, John
+Roynoldes founde his companion, syttynge in a browne study at the Inne
+gate, to whom he sayd: for shame, man, how syttest thou? Why doste thou
+nat make the redy to horsebacke, that we myght sette forwarde with
+companye? I tary (quod he) for a good cause. For what cause, quod
+Roynoldes? Marye (quod he), here be so many horses, that I can nat telle
+whiche is myne owne amonge the other, and I knowe well, whan euery man
+is riden and gone, the horse that remaineth behynde must nedes be myn.</p>
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<h3><a name="Of_the_yonge_man_of_Bruges_and_his_spouse_lxxiii" id="Of_the_yonge_man_of_Bruges_and_his_spouse_lxxiii"></a>&para; <i>Of the yonge man of Bruges, and his spouse.</i> lxxiii.</h3>
+
+
+<p>&para; A yonge man of Bruges, that was betrouthed to a fayre mayden, came on
+a tyme, whan her mother was out of the way, and had to do with her. Whan
+her mother was come in, anone she perceyued by her doughters chere, what
+she had done; wherfore she was so sore displesed, that she<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_ii93" id="Page_ii93">[Pg 93]</a></span> sewed a
+diuorse, and wolde in no wyse suffre that the yonge man shulde marye her
+daughter.</p>
+
+<p>Nat longe after, the same yonge man was maryed to an other mayden of the
+same parysshe: and as he and his wyfe satte talkynge on a tyme of the
+forsayde dammusell, to whome he was betrouthed, he fell in a nyce<a name="FNanchor_261_261" id="FNanchor_261_261"></a><a href="#Footnote_261_261" class="fnanchor">[261]</a>
+laughyng. Whereat laugh ye? quod his wyfe. It chaunced on a tyme (quod
+he), that she and I dydde suche a thyng to gether, and she tolde hit to
+her mother. Therin (quod his wyfe) she playde the foole: a seruante of
+my fathers playde that game with me an hundred tymes, and yet I neuer
+tolde my mother. Whan he herde her saye so, he lefte his nyce laughynge.</p>
+
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<h3><a name="Of_hym_that_made_as_he_hadde_ben_a_chaste_lyuer_lxxiiii" id="Of_hym_that_made_as_he_hadde_ben_a_chaste_lyuer_lxxiiii"></a>&para; <i>Of hym that made as he hadde ben a chaste lyuer.</i> lxxiiii.</h3>
+
+
+<p>&para; A felowe, that toke vpon him, as he had ben the moste chaste and beste
+disposed man lyuinge, was by one of his felowes on a tyme taken in
+aduoutry,<a name="FNanchor_262_262" id="FNanchor_262_262"></a><a href="#Footnote_262_262" class="fnanchor">[262]</a> and sharpely rebuked for it, bycause he prated so moche
+of chastite, and yet was taken in<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_ii94" id="Page_ii94">[Pg 94]</a></span> the same faute. To whome he answerde
+againe: O fool, doste thou thinke that I did it for bodely pleasure? No!
+no! I dyd it but onely to subdue my flesshe, and to purge my reynes.</p>
+
+<p>Wherby ye may perceyue, that of all other dissemblynge hipocrytes are
+the worste.</p>
+
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<h3><a name="Of_hym_that_the_olde_roode_fell_on_lxxv" id="Of_hym_that_the_olde_roode_fell_on_lxxv"></a>&para; <i>Of hym that the olde roode fell on.</i> lxxv.</h3>
+
+
+<p>&para; As a man kneled vpon a tyme prayenge before an olde rode, the rode
+felle downe on him and brak his hede; wherfore he wolde come no more in
+the churche halfe a yere after. At lengthe, by the prouocation of his
+nighbours, he cam to the churche agayne; and bycause he sawe his
+nighbours knele before the same rode, he kneled downe lyke wyse and
+sayde thus: well, I may cappe and knele to the; but thou shake neuer
+haue myn harte agayne, as long as I lyue.</p>
+
+<p>By which tale appereth, that by gentyll and courteyse entreatinge mens
+myndes ben obteyned.<a name="FNanchor_263_263" id="FNanchor_263_263"></a><a href="#Footnote_263_263" class="fnanchor">[263]</a> For though the people cappe and knele to one
+in highe authorite, yet lyttell whoteth he, what they thynke.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_ii95" id="Page_ii95">[Pg 95]</a></span></p>
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<h3><a name="Of_the_wydow_that_wolde_nat_wedde_for_bodily_pleasure_lxxvi" id="Of_the_wydow_that_wolde_nat_wedde_for_bodily_pleasure_lxxvi"></a>&para; <i>Of the wydow that wolde nat wedde for bodily pleasure.</i> lxxvi.</h3>
+
+
+<p>&para; There was a ryche wydowe, whiche desyredde a gossyp of hers, that she
+wold get her an husband: nat for the nyce playe, quod she, but to th'
+entente he may kepe my goodes to gether, whiche is an harde thinge for
+me to do, beynge a lone woman. Her gossyp, whiche vnderstode her
+conceyte, promysed her so to do. Aboute iii or iiii dayes after, she
+came to her agayne, and sayde: gossyp, I haue founde an husbande for
+you, that is a prudente, a ware, and a worldlye<a name="FNanchor_264_264" id="FNanchor_264_264"></a><a href="#Footnote_264_264" class="fnanchor">[264]</a> wyse man, but he
+lacketh his priuey members, wherof ye force nat. Go to the dyuell with
+that husbande (quod the wydowe): for though that I desyre nat the nyce
+playe: yet I wylle that myne husbande shall haue that, where with we may
+be reconciled, if we falle at variance.</p>
+
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<h3><a name="Of_the_couetous_ambassodour_that_wolde_here_no_musike_lxxvii" id="Of_the_couetous_ambassodour_that_wolde_here_no_musike_lxxvii"></a>&para; <i>Of the couetous ambassodour, that wolde here no musike.</i> lxxvii.</h3>
+
+
+<p>&para; Whan a couetous man on a time was come vnto a certain cite, whither he
+was sent as ambassadour for his contrey, anon the mynstrels of the cite
+came to him to fil his eares with swete din, to th' intente he shuld fyl
+their purses with money. But<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_ii96" id="Page_ii96">[Pg 96]</a></span> he, perceyunge that, bad one of his
+seruauntes go and telle them, that he coulde nat than intende<a name="FNanchor_265_265" id="FNanchor_265_265"></a><a href="#Footnote_265_265" class="fnanchor">[265]</a> to
+here their musicke, but he muste demene great sorow, for his mother was
+deed. So the minstrels, disapointed of theyr purpose, all sadlye went
+theyr waye. And whan a worshipfull man of the cite, that was his frende,
+herd tell of his mourning, he came to visete and comforte him; and so in
+talkynge together he asked, howe longe a go it was that his mother
+deceased? Truelye (quod he), hit is xl yere ago. Than his frende,
+vnderstandyinge his subtilte, beganne to laughe hartely.</p>
+
+<p>This tale is aplyed to the couetous men, whiche by al crafte and meanes
+study to kepe and encreace theyr money and substance; agaynst whiche
+vyce many thinges ben wryten. As farre (sayth one) is that frome a
+couetous man that he hath, as that he hath nat.<a name="FNanchor_266_266" id="FNanchor_266_266"></a><a href="#Footnote_266_266" class="fnanchor">[266]</a> And Diogenes
+calleth couetousnes the<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_ii97" id="Page_ii97">[Pg 97]</a></span> heed of all yuels, and saynt Hieronyme calleth
+couetousnes the rote of all yuels. And for an example, the tale
+folowinge shall be of couetousnes.</p>
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<h3><a name="How_Denise_the_tirant_serued_a_couetous_man_lxxix" id="How_Denise_the_tirant_serued_a_couetous_man_lxxix"></a>&para; <i>How Denise the tirant serued a couetous man.</i> lxxix.</h3>
+
+
+<p>&para; It was shewed to Denise the tyran, that a couetous man of the cite had
+hyd a great some of money in the grounde, and lyued moste wretchedly:
+wherfore he sente for the man, and commaunded him to go dyg vp the
+money, and so to deliuer it vnto him. The man obeyed, and delyuered vnto
+the tyran all the golde and treasure that he hadde, saue a small some,
+that he priuelye kept a syde: where with he wente in to an other cite,
+and forsoke Syracuse: and there bought a lytell lande, where vpon he
+lyued. Whan the tyran vnderstode that he hadde so done, he sent for him
+agayne; and whan he was come, the tyran sayde to him: syth thou haste
+lerned nowe to vse well thy goodes, and nat to kepe them vnprofytably, I
+wyll restore them all to the agayne. And so he dyd.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_ii98" id="Page_ii98">[Pg 98]</a></span></p>
+
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<h3><a name="Of_the_olde_man_that_quengered267_the_boy_oute_of_the_apletree" id="Of_the_olde_man_that_quengered267_the_boy_oute_of_the_apletree"></a>&para; <i>Of the olde man, that quengered<a name="FNanchor_267_267" id="FNanchor_267_267"></a><a href="#Footnote_267_267" class="fnanchor">[267]</a> the boy oute of the apletree with stones.</i> lxxx.</h3>
+
+
+
+<p>&para; As an olde man walked on a tyme in his orcherd he loked vp, and sawe a
+boye sytte in a tree, stealynge his apples; whom he entreated with fayre
+wordes to come downe, and let his apples alone. And whan the olde man
+sawe, that the boye cared nat for him, by cause of his age, and set
+noughte by his wordes, he sayde: I haue harde saye, that nat onlye in
+wordes, but also in herbes, shulde be greatte vertue. Wherfore he
+plucked vp herbes, and beganne to throwe them at the boye, wherat the
+boye laughed hartelye, and thought that the olde man hadde ben mad, to
+thynke to driue him out of the tree with casting of herbes. Than the
+olde man sayde: well, seynge that nother wordes nor herbes haue no
+vertue agaynste the stealer of my goodes, I wylle proue what stones
+wylle do, in whiche, I haue harde men saye, is great vertue; and so he
+gathered his lappe full of stones, and threwe them at the boye, and
+compelled hym to come downe, and renne awaye.</p>
+
+<p>This tale sheweth, that they, that bene wyse, proue many wayes, before
+they arme them.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_ii99" id="Page_ii99">[Pg 99]</a></span></p>
+
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<h3><a name="Of_the_ryche_man_that_wolde_not_haue_a_glyster_lxxxi" id="Of_the_ryche_man_that_wolde_not_haue_a_glyster_lxxxi"></a>&para; <i>Of the ryche man that wolde not haue a glyster.</i> lxxxi.</h3>
+
+
+<p>&para; There was a certayn riche man on a tyme, whiche felle sycke, to the
+whose curynge came many phisitians (for flyes by heapes flee to honye).
+Amonge them all there was one that sayde, that he muste nedes take a
+glyster, if he wolde be holle. Whan the sicke man, that was nat envred
+with that medicine, harde hym saye so, he sayde in a great furye: out a
+dores with those phisitians! they be madde: for, where as my payne is in
+my heed, they wolde heale me in myne * * * *.</p>
+
+<p>This fable sheweth that holsom thynges to them, that lacke knowlege and
+experyence, seme hurtfull.</p>
+
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<h3><a name="Of_hym_that_feyned_hym_selfe_deed_to_proue_what_his_wyfe_wolde_do" id="Of_hym_that_feyned_hym_selfe_deed_to_proue_what_his_wyfe_wolde_do"></a>&para; <i>Of hym that feyned hym selfe deed to proue what his wyfe wolde do.</i> lxxxii.</h3>
+
+
+
+<p>&para; A yonge married man on a time, to proue, to here and to se what his
+wyfe wolde do, if he were deed, came in to his house, whyle his wyfe was
+forthe wasshynge of clothes, and layd him downe in the floore, as he had
+ben deed. Whan his wyfe came in, and sawe him lye so, she thought he had
+ben deed in dede; wherfore she stode euen stylle,<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_ii100" id="Page_ii100">[Pg 100]</a></span> and deuysed with her
+selfe whether was better to bewayle his dethe forth with, or els to dyne
+fyrste; for she had eate of nomeate<a name="FNanchor_268_268" id="FNanchor_268_268"></a><a href="#Footnote_268_268" class="fnanchor">[268]</a> all the day. All other thinges
+consydered, she determined to dyne fyrste. So she cut a coloppe of
+baken, and broyled it on the coles, and began to eate theron a pace; she
+was so hungrye, that she toke no hede of drynke. At laste, the saltenes
+of the meate made her to thyrste so sore, that she muste nedes drynke.
+So, as she toke the potte in her hande, and was goyng downe into her
+seller to drawe drynke, sodaynely came one of her neyghbours for a cole
+o' fyre.<a name="FNanchor_269_269" id="FNanchor_269_269"></a><a href="#Footnote_269_269" class="fnanchor">[269]</a> Wherfore she stepped backe quickely, and though she was
+right thyrsty, yet she sette the potte a syde; and as [if] her husbande
+had than fallen downe deed, she beganne to wepe, and with many
+lamentable wordes to bewayle his dethe; which wepynge and walyng and
+sodaine dethe of her husbande caused all the neyghbours to come thyther.
+The man laye stylle in the floore, and so helde his brethe, and closed
+his eies, that he semed for certayne to be deade. At laste, whanne he
+thought he had made pastyme inough, and herynge his wyfe saye thus:
+alas! dere husbande, what shall I do nowe? he loked vp and sayde: full
+yll, my swete wyfe, excepte ye go quyckely and drynke;<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_ii101" id="Page_ii101">[Pg 101]</a></span> wherwith they al
+from wepyng tourned to laughynge, specially whan they vnderstode the
+matter and the cause of her thyrste.</p>
+
+<p>Wherby ye may se, that nat without a good skyl the poet sayde:</p>
+
+<p class="center">
+<i>Ut flerent oculos erudiere suos.</i>
+</p>
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<h3><a name="Of_the_poure_man_into_whose_house_theues_brake_by_nyghte270" id="Of_the_poure_man_into_whose_house_theues_brake_by_nyghte270"></a>&para; <i>Of the poure man, into whose house theues brake by nyghte.</i><a name="FNanchor_270_270" id="FNanchor_270_270"></a><a href="#Footnote_270_270" class="fnanchor">[270]</a> lxxxiii.</h3>
+
+
+
+<p>&para; There was a poore man on a tyme, the whiche vnto theues, that brake
+into his house on nyght, he sayde on this wyse: syrs, I maruayle, that
+ye thynke to fynde any thyng here by nyght: for I ensure you I can fynd
+nothing, whan it is brode day.</p>
+
+<p>
+<span style="margin-left: 1em;">By this tale appereth playnly</span><br />
+<span style="margin-left: 1em;">That pouerte is a welthy mysery.</span><br />
+</p>
+
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<h3><a name="Of_hym_that_shulde_haue_ben_hanged_for_his_scoffynge_lxxxiiii" id="Of_hym_that_shulde_haue_ben_hanged_for_his_scoffynge_lxxxiiii"></a>&para; <i>Of hym that shulde haue ben hanged for his scoffynge.</i> lxxxiiii.</h3>
+
+
+<p>&para; There was a mery felowe in hygh Almayn, the whiche, with his scoffynge
+and iestynge, had so moche displeased a great lorde of the countreye,
+that he thretned to hange hym, if euer he coude take hym in his
+countrey. Nat longe after, this<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_ii102" id="Page_ii102">[Pg 102]</a></span> lordes seruauntes toke hym, and hanged
+he shulde be. Whanne he sawe there was no remedy but that he shulde dye,
+he sayde: my lorde, I muste nedes suffre dethe, whiche I knowe I haue
+wel deserued. But yet I beseke you graunte me one peticion for my
+soule[s] helthe. The lorde, at the instaunce of the people that stode
+aboute, so it dydde not concerne his lyfe, was contente to graunte it
+hym. Than the felowe sayde: I desyre you, my lorde, that after I am
+hanged, to come iii mornynges, fresshe and fastynge, and kysse me on the
+bare ****. Where vnto the lorde answered: the deuyll kysse thyne ****:
+and so let hym go.</p>
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<h3><a name="Of_hym_that_had_his_goose_stole_lxxxv" id="Of_hym_that_had_his_goose_stole_lxxxv"></a>&para; <i>Of hym that had his goose stole.</i> lxxxv.</h3>
+
+
+<p>&para; A man, that had a goose stoole from hym, went and complayned to the
+curate, and desyred hym to do so moche as helpe, that he had his goose
+again. The curate sayde he wolde. So on Sonday the curate, as though he
+wolde curse, wente vp in to the pulpit, and bade euery body syt downe.
+So, whan they were set, he said: why sit ye nat downe? We be set all
+redy, quod they. Naye (quod the curate) he that dyd stele the goose
+sitteth nat. Yes, that I do, quod he. Sayste thou that, quod the curate?
+I charge the, on peyne of cursing, to bryng the goose home ageyn.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_ii103" id="Page_ii103">[Pg 103]</a></span></p>
+
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<h3><a name="Of_the_begger_that_sayd_he_was_kyn_to_kyng_Philip_of_Macedone" id="Of_the_begger_that_sayd_he_was_kyn_to_kyng_Philip_of_Macedone"></a>&para; <i>Of the begger that sayd he was kyn to kyng Philip of Macedone.</i> lxxxvi.</h3>
+
+
+
+<p>&para; There came a begger to kyng Philip of Macedone on a tyme, and prayde
+the kyng to gyue hym some what; and farther he sayde he was his kynse
+man. And whan the kyng asked hym which way, he answered and sayde howe
+they came bothe of Adam. Than the kynge commanded to gyue hym an almes.
+Whan the begger sawe it was but a small pece of moneye, he sayde, that
+was nat a semely gyfte for a kynge. The kynge answered: if I shuld gyue
+euery manne so moche, that is my kynse manne lyke as thou arte, I shulde
+leaue nothynge for my selfe.<a name="FNanchor_271_271" id="FNanchor_271_271"></a><a href="#Footnote_271_271" class="fnanchor">[271]</a></p>
+
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<h3><a name="Of_Dantes_answere_to_the_iester_lxxxvii" id="Of_Dantes_answere_to_the_iester_lxxxvii"></a>&para; <i>Of Dantes answere to the iester.</i> lxxxvii.</h3>
+
+
+<p>&para; Dantes the poete dwelled a whyle with Can, the Prince de la
+Scale,<a name="FNanchor_272_272" id="FNanchor_272_272"></a><a href="#Footnote_272_272" class="fnanchor">[272]</a> with whome also dwelled an<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_ii104" id="Page_ii104">[Pg 104]</a></span> other Florentyne, that hadde
+neyther lernynge nor prudence, and was a man mete for nothynge but to
+scoffe and ieste; but yet with his mery toyes, he so moued the sayd Can,
+that he dydde greatly enryche hym. And, bycause Dantes dispised his
+foolysshenes, this scoffer sayd to hym: how cometh it, Dantes, that thou
+art helde<a name="FNanchor_273_273" id="FNanchor_273_273"></a><a href="#Footnote_273_273" class="fnanchor">[273]</a> so wyse and so well lerned, and yet arte poore and nedy?
+I am an vnlerned man and am an ignorant fole, and yet I am farre richer
+than thou art. To whom Dantes answered: if I may fynde a lord lyke and
+conformable to my maners, as thou hast founde to thyn, he wyll lyke wyse
+make me ryche.</p>
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<h3><a name="Of_hym_that_had_sore_eyes274_lxxxviii" id="Of_hym_that_had_sore_eyes274_lxxxviii"></a>&para; <i>Of hym that had sore eyes.</i><a name="FNanchor_274_274" id="FNanchor_274_274"></a><a href="#Footnote_274_274" class="fnanchor">[274]</a> lxxxviii.</h3>
+
+
+<p>&para; One, that had sore eies, was warned of the phisitian, that he shulde
+in any wyse forbeare drinking or els lose his eies: to whom he sayd: it
+is more pleasure for me to lose myne eies with drinkynge, than to kepe
+them for wormes to eate them oute.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_ii105" id="Page_ii105">[Pg 105]</a></span></p>
+
+<p>By this tale ye may perceyue, that it auayleth nat to warne some for
+theyr own profytte.</p>
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<h3><a name="Of_the_olde_woman_that_had_sore_eyes_lxxxix" id="Of_the_olde_woman_that_had_sore_eyes_lxxxix"></a>&para; <i>Of the olde woman that had sore eyes.</i> lxxxix.</h3>
+
+
+<p>&para; There was an olde woman, the whiche bargayned with a surgean to heale
+her sore eyes; and whanne he hadde made her eies hole, and that she sawe
+better, she couenaunted that he shulde be payde his moneye, and not
+before. So he layde a medycyne to her eyes, that shulde not be taken
+awaye the space of v dayes, in whiche tyme she myghte nat loke vppe.
+Euery daye, whan he came to dresse her, he bare awaye some what of her
+householde stouffe, table clothes, candelstickes and disshes. He lefte
+no thinge, that he coulde carye clene. So whan her eies were hole, she
+loked vp, and sawe that her householde stouffe was caryede awaye. She
+sayde to the surgian, that came and required his money for his labour:
+syr, my promise was to pay you, whan ye made me se better than I did
+before. That is trouth, quod he. Mary, quod she, but I se worse nowe
+than I did. Before ye layde medicins to myn eies, I sawe moche fayre
+stouffe in myn house, and now I se nothinge at all.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_ii106" id="Page_ii106">[Pg 106]</a></span></p>
+
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<h3><a name="Of_hym_that_had_the_custodi_of_a_warde_xc" id="Of_hym_that_had_the_custodi_of_a_warde_xc"></a>&para; <i>Of hym that had the custodi of a warde.</i> xc.</h3>
+
+
+<p>&para; A certayn man, that had the custody of a ward and his goodes, and in
+shorte space had spente all awaye, was by the gouernour of the cite
+commanded to bring in his bookes of <i>Introitus et exitus</i>, that is to
+saye, of entraunce and layenge oute, and to gyue accompte of the
+orphlins<a name="FNanchor_275_275" id="FNanchor_275_275"></a><a href="#Footnote_275_275" class="fnanchor">[275]</a> goodes. So whan he came, he shewed fyrste his mouthe, and
+sayde, here it wente in: and after he shewed vp his ****, and sayde:
+here hit wente out, and other bookes of <i>Introitus et exitus</i> I haue
+none.</p>
+
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<h3><a name="Of_the_excellent_paynter_that_had_foule_children_xci" id="Of_the_excellent_paynter_that_had_foule_children_xci"></a>&para; <i>Of the excellent paynter, that had foule children.</i> xci.</h3>
+
+
+<p>&para; There was a peinter in Rome that was an excellent counnynge man, and
+bycause he had foule children, one sayde to him: by my feyth, I maruayle
+that you paynte so goodelye, and gette so foule chyldren. Yea, quod the
+peynter, I make my chyldren in the darke, and I peynte those fygures by
+daye lyght.<a name="FNanchor_276_276" id="FNanchor_276_276"></a><a href="#Footnote_276_276" class="fnanchor">[276]</a><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_ii107" id="Page_ii107">[Pg 107]</a></span></p>
+
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<h3><a name="Of_the_scoffer_that_made_a_man_a_south_sayer_xcii" id="Of_the_scoffer_that_made_a_man_a_south_sayer_xcii"></a>&para; <i>Of the scoffer that made a man a south sayer.</i> xcii.</h3>
+
+
+<p>&para; There was a mery scoffynge felowe on a tyme, the whiche toke on him to
+teach a man to be a south sayer. Whan they were agreedde, what he shuld
+haue for his labour, the scoffer sayde to the man: holde! eate this
+rounde pellet, and I warant thou shalte be a south sayer. The man toke
+and put it in his mouth, and began to champe theron, but hit sauered so
+ill, that he spyt it out forth with, and said: phy! this pellet, that
+thou gyueste me to eate, sauereth all of a *****: Thou sayst trouth
+(quod the scoffer), nowe thou arte a south sayer; and therefore paye me
+my money.<a name="FNanchor_277_277" id="FNanchor_277_277"></a><a href="#Footnote_277_277" class="fnanchor">[277]</a></p>
+
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<h3><a name="Of_the_marchaunt_of_Florence_called_Charles_xciii" id="Of_the_marchaunt_of_Florence_called_Charles_xciii"></a>&para; <i>Of the marchaunt of Florence called Charles.</i> xciii.</h3>
+
+
+<p>&para; A marchaunt of Florence, called Charles, came frome Auignone to Rome;
+and as he sate at souper<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_ii108" id="Page_ii108">[Pg 108]</a></span> with a great company, one asked him how the
+Florentins at Auignone fared? He sayde they were merye and gladde: for
+they that dwelle there a yere (quod he) be as men that were franticke
+and out of theyr myndes. Than an other, that sate at souper with them,
+asked this Charles, how longe he had dwelled there. He answerde: vi
+monethes. Charles (quod he that asked him the question), thou haste a
+great wytte: for hit, that other be about xii monethes, thou hast
+fulfylled in halfe a yere.</p>
+
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<h3><a name="Of_the_chesshire_man_called_Eulyn_xciiii" id="Of_the_chesshire_man_called_Eulyn_xciiii"></a>&para; <i>Of the chesshire man called Eulyn.</i> xciiii.</h3>
+
+
+<p>&para; Ther dwelled a man in Chesshyre called Eulyn, whiche vsed to go to the
+towne many tymes; and there he wolde sytte drynkyng tyl xii of the
+clocke at nyghte, and than go home. So on a tyme he caryed a lyttell
+boye his sonne on his shulder with him, and whan the chylde fell a slepe
+about ix of the clocke, the ale wyfe brought him to bed with her
+chyldren. At mydnyghte Eulyn wente home, and thought no more of his
+chylde. As sone as he came home, his wyfe asked for her chyld. Whan she
+spake of the chylde, he loked on his shulder; and whan he sawe he was
+not ther, he said he wist nat where he was. Out vpon<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_ii109" id="Page_ii109">[Pg 109]</a></span> the, horson (quod
+she), thou hast let mi child fal in to the water (for he passed ouer the
+water of Dee at a brige). Thou list,<a name="FNanchor_278_278" id="FNanchor_278_278"></a><a href="#Footnote_278_278" class="fnanchor">[278]</a> hore (quod he): for if he had
+fallen into the water, I shuld haue hard him plump.</p>
+
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<h3><a name="Of_him_that_desired_to_be_set_vpon_the_pillori_xcv" id="Of_him_that_desired_to_be_set_vpon_the_pillori_xcv"></a>&para; <i>Of him that desired to be set vpon the pillori.</i> xcv.</h3>
+
+
+<p>&para; There were iii loytteringe felowes fell in companye on a tyme, the
+whiche wente so longe to gether tylle all theyr money was spente. Whan
+their money was gone, one of them sayd: what shal we do now? By my faith
+(quod an other), if I might come where preace of people were, I coulde
+get moneye inough for vs. And I (quod the iii) can assemble people to
+gether lyghtly. So whan they came in to a lyttelle towne, where a newe
+pillory was sette vp, he, that sayde he coude lyghtly assemble people to
+gether, went to the bayly of the towne whiche was a boucher, and desyred
+him, that he wolde gyue him leaue to haue the maidenheed of the pyllory.
+Whiche requeste at the fyrste abasshed the bayllye: for he wyst not what
+he mente therby; wherfore he toke counsayle of his neighbours, what was
+best to do, and they<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_ii110" id="Page_ii110">[Pg 110]</a></span> bade him set vp the knaue, and spare nat. So whan
+he was on the pillorye, he loked aboute, and sawe his ii felowes busy in
+the holes of the bouchers aprons, where thei vsed to put theyr money.
+Than he said: ther now, go to a pace. The people gaped vp styll and
+laughed; and whan he saw that his felowes had sped their maters, and
+were going away, he said to the peple: now turne the pilori ones about,
+and than I wyl com downe. So they laughing hartily did. Whan the felow
+was com downe from the pyllory, the baylie sayde to hym: by my faythe,
+thou arte a good felowe, and by cause thou haste made vs so good sporte,
+holde I wyll gyue the a grote to drynke, and so putte his hande in the
+hole of his apron. But there he founde neuer a penye. Cockes<a name="FNanchor_279_279" id="FNanchor_279_279"></a><a href="#Footnote_279_279" class="fnanchor">[279]</a> armes!
+(quod the<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_ii111" id="Page_ii111">[Pg 111]</a></span> bayllye) my pourse is pycked, and my moneye is gone. Syr
+(quod the felowe), I truste ye wyll beare me recorde, that I haue hit
+nat. No, by the masse, quod he, thou were on the pyllorie the whyle.
+Than, no force, quod the felow, and wente his waye.</p>
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<h3><a name="Of_the_wydowes_daughter_that_was_sent_to_the_abbot_with_a_couple_of" id="Of_the_wydowes_daughter_that_was_sent_to_the_abbot_with_a_couple_of"></a>&para; <i>Of the wydowes daughter that was sent to the abbot with a couple of capons.</i> xcvi.</h3>
+
+
+
+<p>&para; There was an abbot that had a wydowe to his tenant, which wydow on a
+tyme sent her doughter with a couple of capons to the abbotte. And whan
+the mayden came with her present, she founde the abbot syttyng at dyner,
+to whom she sayd: moch good dutte<a name="FNanchor_280_280" id="FNanchor_280_280"></a><a href="#Footnote_280_280" class="fnanchor">[280]</a> the, my lorde! Ha! welcome,
+mayden, quod he. My lorde (quod she), my mother hath sent the here a
+couple of capons.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_ii112" id="Page_ii112">[Pg 112]</a></span> God a mercy,<a name="FNanchor_281_281" id="FNanchor_281_281"></a><a href="#Footnote_281_281" class="fnanchor">[281]</a> mayden, quod he. And so he made her
+to be sette downe atte his owne table to eate some meate. Amonge other
+meates, the abbotte had than a grene goose with sorell sauce, wherof he
+dyd eate. So one, that sat at the abbottes tables, gaue the rompe of the
+goose to the mayde to picke theron. She toke the rompe in her hande, and
+bycause she sawe the abbot and other wete their meate in the sorell
+sauce, she sayde: my lorde, I pray the gyue me leue to wete myn rompe in
+thy grene sauce.</p>
+
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<h3><a name="Of_the_two_men_that_dranke_a_pynte_of_whyte_wyne_to_gether_xcvii" id="Of_the_two_men_that_dranke_a_pynte_of_whyte_wyne_to_gether_xcvii"></a>&para; <i>Of the two men, that dranke a pynte of whyte wyne to gether.</i> xcvii.</h3>
+
+
+<p>&para; There came two homely men of the countreye in to a tauerne on a tyme
+to drinke a pynte of wine. So they satte stylle, and wyste not what wyne
+to calle for. At last, herynge euerye man call for white wyne as clere
+as water of the rocke, they bad the drawer brynge them a pynte of whyte
+wyne as clere as water of the rocke. The drawer, seyng and perceyuyng by
+their wordes that they were but blont felowes, he brought them a pinte
+of clere water. The one of them fylled the cuppe, and dranke to his
+felow, and<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_ii113" id="Page_ii113">[Pg 113]</a></span> sayd: holde, neighbour, by masse, chadde<a name="FNanchor_282_282" id="FNanchor_282_282"></a><a href="#Footnote_282_282" class="fnanchor">[282]</a> as lefe drynke
+water, saue only for the name of wyne.<a name="FNanchor_283_283" id="FNanchor_283_283"></a><a href="#Footnote_283_283" class="fnanchor">[283]</a></p>
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_ii114" id="Page_ii114">[Pg 114]</a></span></p>
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<h3><a name="Of_the_doctour_that_went_with_the_fouler_to_catche_byrdes_xcviii" id="Of_the_doctour_that_went_with_the_fouler_to_catche_byrdes_xcviii"></a>&para; <i>Of the doctour that went with the fouler to catche byrdes.</i> xcviii.</h3>
+
+
+<p>&para; There was a doctour on a tyme, whiche desired a fouler, that went to
+catche byrdes with an owle, that he might go with hym. The byrder was
+content, and dressed hym with bowes, and set hym by his oule, and bad
+hym say nothynge. Whan he saw the byrdes alyght a pace, he sayde: there
+be many byrdes alyghted, drawe thy nettes; where with the byrdes flewe
+awaye. The byrder was very angry, and blamed him greatly for his
+speakyng. Than he promysed to hold his peace. Whan the byrder was in
+agayn, and many byrdes were alyghted, mayster doctour said in latyn:
+<i>aves permult&aelig; adsunt</i>; wherwith the byrdes flewe away. The byrder came
+out ryghte angrye and sore displeased, and sayde, that by his bablynge
+he had twyse loste his pray.<a name="FNanchor_284_284" id="FNanchor_284_284"></a><a href="#Footnote_284_284" class="fnanchor">[284]</a> Why, thynkest thou, foole (quod the
+doctour), that the birdes do vnderstand latin? This doctour thought that
+the vnderstandynge, and nat the noyse, hadde feared awaye the byrdes.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_ii115" id="Page_ii115">[Pg 115]</a></span></p>
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<h3><a name="Of_hym_that_vndertoke_to_teache_an_asse_to_rede_xcix" id="Of_hym_that_vndertoke_to_teache_an_asse_to_rede_xcix"></a>&para; <i>Of hym that vndertoke to teache an asse to rede.</i> xcix.</h3>
+
+
+<p>&para; There was a certayne tyran,<a name="FNanchor_285_285" id="FNanchor_285_285"></a><a href="#Footnote_285_285" class="fnanchor">[285]</a> the which, to pylle one of his
+subiectes of his goodes, commaunded hym to teache an asse to spelle and
+rede. He sayd it was impossible, except he might haue space inough
+therto. And whan the tyran bade hym aske what tyme he wolde, he desyred
+x yeres respite. But yet, bycause he vndertoke a thynge impossible,
+euerye bodye laughed hym to scorne. He tourned towarde his frendes and
+sayde: I am nothynge affrayde: for in that space, either I, the asse, or
+elles my lorde may dye.</p>
+
+<p>By whiche tale appereth, that it is holsome to take leyser inough aboute
+a thynge that is harde to do, specially whanne a man can nat chose to
+take hit on hande.<a name="FNanchor_286_286" id="FNanchor_286_286"></a><a href="#Footnote_286_286" class="fnanchor">[286]<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_ii116" id="Page_ii116">[Pg 116]</a></span></a></p>
+
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<h3><a name="Of_the_fryer_that_confessed_the_woman287_c" id="Of_the_fryer_that_confessed_the_woman287_c"></a>&para; <i>Of the fryer that confessed the woman.</i><a name="FNanchor_287_287" id="FNanchor_287_287"></a><a href="#Footnote_287_287" class="fnanchor">[287]</a> c.</h3>
+
+
+<p>&para; As a fayre yong woman of the towne of Amilie confessed her to a
+friere, he beganne to burne so in concupiscence of the flesshe, that he
+entyced her to consente to his wylle. And they agreed, that she shulde
+feyne her selfe sycke, and sende<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_ii117" id="Page_ii117">[Pg 117]</a></span> for hym to shryue her. Within iij
+dayes after, she feyned her selfe sycke, and laye downe in her bedde,
+and sente for the same fryere to shryue her. Whan the friere was come,
+and euery body voided out of the chambre, he went to bedde to the woman,
+and there laye a longe space with her. Her husbande, suspectyng so longe
+a confession, came in to the chaumbre; whose sodayne comynge so sore
+abasshed the fryer, that he went his way and lefte his breche behynde
+him lyenge on the bedde. Whan her husbande sawe the breche, he sayd a
+loude, this was nat a frier, but an aduouterer; and for great
+abbomination of the dede he called all his householde to se hit. And
+forthe with he went and complayned to the warden of that couent, and
+thretned to slee hym that had done the dede. The wardyen, to appease his
+anger, sayde, that suche publysshynge was to the shame of hym and his
+householde. The man said, the breche was so openly founde, that he coude
+nat hyde it. The warden to remedy the matter sayde, it was saynt
+Fraunces' breche, an holy relyke that his brother caryed thither for the
+womans helth, and that he and his couent wolde come and fetche hit home
+with procession. With those wordes the man was contente. Anone the
+warden and his frieres, with the crosse before them, and arayed in holye
+veste<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_ii118" id="Page_ii118">[Pg 118]</a></span>mentes, went to the house and toke vppe the breche; and two of
+them, on a clothe of sylke, bare it solemlye on hyghe betwene theyr
+handes, and euerye bodye that mette them kneled downe and kyssed it. So,
+with great ceremony and songe, they brought it home to their couente.
+But after, whanne this was knowen, ambassadoures of the same citie wente
+and complayned therof before the Holy See Apostolyke.</p>
+
+
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<h3><a name="Howe_a_chaplen_of_Louen_deceyued_an_vsurer_ci" id="Howe_a_chaplen_of_Louen_deceyued_an_vsurer_ci"></a>&para; <i>Howe a chaplen of Louen deceyued an vsurer.</i> ci.</h3>
+
+
+<p>&para; In the towne of Louen<a name="FNanchor_288_288" id="FNanchor_288_288"></a><a href="#Footnote_288_288" class="fnanchor">[288]</a> was a chaplayne called Antonye, of whose
+merye sayenges and doynges is moche talkynge. As he mette on a daye one
+or two of his acqueyntaunce, he desyred them home with him to dyner: but
+meate had he none, nor money. There was no remedy but to make a shefte.
+Forth he goth, and in to an vserers kytchynne, with whome he was
+famylier; and priueilye vnder his gowne he caryed oute the potte with
+meate, that was sod<a name="FNanchor_289_289" id="FNanchor_289_289"></a><a href="#Footnote_289_289" class="fnanchor">[289]</a> for the vsurers dyner. Whan he came home, he
+putte oute the meate, and made the pot to be scoured bryght, and sente a
+boye with the same pot to the vserer to borowe ii grotes theron, and
+bade the boye take a bylle of his hande, that suche a brasse potte be
+delyuered hym. The boy<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_ii119" id="Page_ii119">[Pg 119]</a></span> did as he was bydde; and with the money that he
+hadde of the vsurer, he bought wine for theyr dyner. Whan the vsurer
+shulde go to dyner, the potte and meate was gone, wherfore he alto
+chydde his mayde. She said there came no bodye of all the daye, but syr
+Antony.<a name="FNanchor_290_290" id="FNanchor_290_290"></a><a href="#Footnote_290_290" class="fnanchor">[290]</a> They asked him, and he sayde he had none. At length, they
+sayde in erneste, he and no man els had the pot. By my fayth (quod he),
+I borowed suche a potte vpon a tyme, but I sente hit home agayne; and so
+called witnes to them, and sayde: lo, howe peryllous it is to deale with
+men nowe a dayes withoute wrytynge. They wolde lay thefte to my charge,
+an' if I had no wrytinge of the vsurers hande; and so he shewed oute the
+wrytinge. And whan they vnderstode the disceyte, there was good
+laughynge.</p>
+
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<h3><a name="Of_the_same_chaplen_and_one_that_spited_him_cii" id="Of_the_same_chaplen_and_one_that_spited_him_cii"></a>&para; <i>Of the same chaplen and one that spited him.</i> cii.</h3>
+
+
+<p>&para; The same Antony dyned on a tyme with a sorte of merye felowes, amonge
+whome there was one<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_ii120" id="Page_ii120">[Pg 120]</a></span> that greatly spited<a name="FNanchor_291_291" id="FNanchor_291_291"></a><a href="#Footnote_291_291" class="fnanchor">[291]</a> him in his scoffes and
+merye iestes. And as they sate laughynge and sporting, one asked whiche
+was the most reuerent part of mans bodye? One sayd the eie, an other the
+nose; but Antony, bycause he knew his enuyer wolde name the clene
+contrarye, sayde the mouth was the most reuerent parte. Naye, quod his
+enuyer, the parte that we sytte on is the moste reuerent; and bicause
+they meruayled whye, he made this reason, that he was moste honourable
+amonge the common people, that was fyrste sette; and the parte that he
+named was fyrste sette. Whiche sayenge contented them, and they laughed
+merelye. He was nat a littell proude of his sayenge, and that he hadde
+ouer come Antonye. This past forth. Four or fyue dayes after, they were
+bothe bydde to dyner in a nother place. Whan Antony cam in, he found his
+enuier, that sat talkynge with other, whyle the diner was makynge redy.
+Antony tourned his backe to him and lette a great ***** agaynst his
+face. His enuyer, greatlye disdayninge, sayde: walke knaue with a
+myschiefe, where hast thou ben nourtered? Why and dysdaynest thou, quod
+Antony? if I had saluted the with my mouthe, thou woldest haue saluted
+me agayne; and nowe I grete the with that parte of my body, that by<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_ii121" id="Page_ii121">[Pg 121]</a></span>
+thyn owne sayenge is moste honourable, thou callest me knaue.</p>
+
+<p>Thus he got agayne his praise, that he hadde loste before.</p>
+
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<h3><a name="Of_the_olde_man_that_put_him_selfe_in_his_sonnes_handes_ciii" id="Of_the_olde_man_that_put_him_selfe_in_his_sonnes_handes_ciii"></a>&para; <i>Of the olde man that put him selfe in his sonnes handes.</i> ciii.</h3>
+
+
+<p>&para; There was a certayne olde man, whiche let his sonne to mary, and to
+brynge his wyfe and his chyldren to dwelle with him, and to take all the
+house in to his owne hande and gydinge. So a certeyne tyme the olde man
+was sette and kepte the vpper ende of the table; afterwarde they sette
+him lower, aboute the myddes of the table; thyrdely they set him at the
+nether ende of the table; fourthly he was set amonge the seruantes;
+fyfthly they made him a couche behynde the halle dore, and cast on him
+an olde sacke clothe. Nat longe after, the olde man died. Whan he was
+deed, the yonge mans sonne came to him and sayde: father, I prey you
+gyue me this olde sacke cloth, that was wonte to couer my graundfather.
+What woldest thou do with it, sayde his father? forsoth, sayd the
+chylde, it shall serue to couer you whan ye be olde, lyke as it did my
+grandfather;&mdash;at whiche wordes of the chylde this man ought to haue ben<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_ii122" id="Page_ii122">[Pg 122]</a></span>
+ashamed and sory. For it is wryten: sonne, reuerence and helpe thy
+father in his olde age, and make him not thoughtfull and heuy in his
+lyfe, and though he dote, forgyue it him. He that honoreth his father,
+shall lyue the longer, and shall reioyce in his owne chyldren.<a name="FNanchor_292_292" id="FNanchor_292_292"></a><a href="#Footnote_292_292" class="fnanchor">[292]</a></p>
+
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<h3><a name="Of_hym_that_had_a_flye_peynted_in_his_shilde_ciiii" id="Of_hym_that_had_a_flye_peynted_in_his_shilde_ciiii"></a>&para; <i>Of hym that had a flye peynted in his shilde.</i> ciiii.</h3>
+
+
+<p>&para; A yonge man, that on a tyme went a warfare, caused a flye to be
+peynted in his shylde, euen of the very greatnes of a flye; wherfore
+some laughed at him and sayde: ye do well, because ye wyll not be
+knowen. Yes, quod he, I do it because I wyll be knowen and spoken of.
+For I wyll approch so nere our enemys, that they shall well decerne what
+armes I beare.</p>
+
+<p>Thus it, that was layde to him for a blame of cowardise, was by his
+sharpe wytte turned to a shewe of manlynes; and the noble and valiaunt
+Archidamus sayde: shotte of crossebowes, slynges, and suche lyke ingins
+of warre are no proffe of manhode; but whan they come and fyghte hande
+to hande, appereth who be men and who be not.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_ii123" id="Page_ii123">[Pg 123]</a></span></p>
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<h3><a name="Of_th_emperour_Augustus_and_the_olde_men_cv" id="Of_th_emperour_Augustus_and_the_olde_men_cv"></a>&para; <i>Of th' emperour Augustus and the olde men.</i> cv.</h3>
+
+
+<p>&para; As the noble emperour Augustus on a time cam in to a bayne,<a name="FNanchor_293_293" id="FNanchor_293_293"></a><a href="#Footnote_293_293" class="fnanchor">[293]</a> he
+behelde an olde man, that hadde done good seruice in the warres,
+frotte<a name="FNanchor_294_294" id="FNanchor_294_294"></a><a href="#Footnote_294_294" class="fnanchor">[294]</a> him selfe a gaynste a marble pyller for lacke of one to
+helpe to wasshe him. Th' emperour, moued with pite, gaue an annuite to
+fynde hym and a seruaunt to wayte vpon him. Whan this was knowen, a
+great sorte of olde men drewe them to gether, and stode where as the
+emperour shulde passe forth by, euerye one of them rubbynge his owne
+backe with a marble stone. The emperour demaunded why they dyd so?
+Bycause, noble emperour, sayd they, we be not able to kepe seruantes to
+do it. Why, quod the emperour, one of you maye clawe and frote an others
+backe well inough.</p>
+
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<h3><a name="Phocions_oration_to_the_Athenians295_cvi" id="Phocions_oration_to_the_Athenians295_cvi"></a>&para; <i>Phocions oration to the Athen[ian]s.</i><a name="FNanchor_295_295" id="FNanchor_295_295"></a><a href="#Footnote_295_295" class="fnanchor">[295]</a> cvi.</h3>
+
+
+<p>&para; Phocion on a daye, treatynge a longe oration to the people of Athenes,
+plesed them very wel; and whan he sawe that they all to gether allowed
+his wordes, he tourned to his frendes and sayd:<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_ii124" id="Page_ii124">[Pg 124]</a></span> haue I vnwarely spoken
+any hurte? So moche he perswaded hym selfe, that nothyng coude plese
+them that was well and truely spoken.</p>
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<h3><a name="Of_Demosthenes_and_Phocion_cvii" id="Of_Demosthenes_and_Phocion_cvii"></a>&para; <i>Of Demosthenes and Phocion.</i> cvii.</h3>
+
+
+<p>&para; Demosthenes sayde to Phocion: if the Atheniens falle ones in a madnes,
+they woll slee the. To whom he answered: ye, surely, if they waxe madde
+they woll slee me; but an' they waxe ones wyse, they wyll slee thee. For
+Demosthenes spake moche to the peoples pleasure, and spake thynges
+rather delytable than holsome.</p>
+
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<h3><a name="Of_Phocion_that_refused_Alexanders_gyfte_cviii" id="Of_Phocion_that_refused_Alexanders_gyfte_cviii"></a>&para; <i>Of Phocion that refused Alexanders gyfte.</i> cviii.</h3>
+
+
+<p>&para; What tyme Alexander, kynge of Macedone, sent an hundred besauntes of
+golde for a gyfte to Phocion, he asked them that brought the money, how
+it came that Alexander sent it to hym alone, seyng there were many other
+men in Athenes beside him. They answered: bycause he iugeth you alone to
+be an honest and a good man. Therfore, quod he, let hym suffre me to be
+taken to be suche one styll.<a name="FNanchor_296_296" id="FNanchor_296_296"></a><a href="#Footnote_296_296" class="fnanchor">[296]</a></p>
+
+<p>Who wolde not wonder at the cleane and vncorrupt courage of this
+Phocion? He was but a<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_ii125" id="Page_ii125">[Pg 125]</a></span> poore man, and yet the greatnes of the gyft coude
+nothinge moue hym. Besyde also he shewed, that they the whiche, while
+they mynistre the common welthe, absteyne not from takyng of gyftes,
+neyther be nor ought not to be taken for good men.</p>
+
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<h3><a name="Of_Denyse_the_tyranne_and_his_sonne_cix" id="Of_Denyse_the_tyranne_and_his_sonne_cix"></a>&para; <i>Of Denyse the tyranne and his sonne.</i> cix.</h3>
+
+
+<p>&para; What tyme Denyse the tyranne vnderstode that his sonne, that shulde
+reigne after hym, had commytted aduoutry with a worshypfull mans wyfe,
+angerly he sayde to hym: dyd I, thy father, euer suche a dede? The yonge
+man answered: no, ye had not a kynge to your father. Nor thou, sayde
+Denyse, art not lyke to haue a sonne a kynge, excepte thou leaue
+commyttynge of suche wyckedde dedes.</p>
+
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<h3><a name="Of_Pomponius_the_Romayne_that_was_brought_before_Mithridates_cx" id="Of_Pomponius_the_Romayne_that_was_brought_before_Mithridates_cx"></a>&para; <i>Of Pomponius the Romayne, that was brought before Mithridates.</i> cx.</h3>
+
+
+<p>&para; Pomponius, a noble man of Rome sore hurte and wounded, was taken and
+brought before Mithridates, whiche asked hym this questyon: if I cure
+and heale thy woundes, wylte thou than be my frende? He answered hym
+agayne thus: if thou wylte be a frende to the Romaynes, thou shalt than
+haue me thy frende.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_ii126" id="Page_ii126">[Pg 126]</a></span></p>
+
+<p>This was a noble stomacke, that preferred the welth of his countrey
+before his owne helth.</p>
+
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<h3><a name="Of_Titus_and_the_iester_cxi" id="Of_Titus_and_the_iester_cxi"></a>&para; <i>Of Titus and the iester.</i> cxi.</h3>
+
+
+<p>&para; Suetonius sheweth that Titus the father prouoked a scoffer, that stode
+iesting with euery body, that he shulde lyke wyse saye somewhat to hym.
+I woll, sayde the scoffer, after ye haue done youre easement. He iested
+at the emperours countinance; he loked alway as one that streyned hym
+selfe.</p>
+
+<p>On suche a visaged man writeth Martiall:</p>
+
+<p>
+<span style="margin-left: 1em;"><i>Utere lactucis, ac mollibus utere maluis.</i></span><br />
+<span style="margin-left: 1em;"><i>Nam faciem durum Phebe cacantis habes.</i></span><br />
+</p>
+
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<h3><a name="Of_Scipio_Nasica_and_Ennius_the_poete297_cxii" id="Of_Scipio_Nasica_and_Ennius_the_poete297_cxii"></a>&para; <i>Of Scipio Nasica and Ennius the poete.</i><a name="FNanchor_297_297" id="FNanchor_297_297"></a><a href="#Footnote_297_297" class="fnanchor">[297]</a> cxii.</h3>
+
+
+<p>&para; Whan Scipio Nasica came on a tyme to speake with Ennius the Poete, he
+asked his mayde at the dore, if he were within; and she sayde, he was
+not at home. But Nasica perceyued, that her mayster badde her say so,
+and that he was within; but, for that tyme dissemblynge the matter, he
+wente his waye. Within a fewe dayes after, Ennius came<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_ii127" id="Page_ii127">[Pg 127]</a></span> to Nasica, and
+knockynge at the dore, asked if he were within. Nasica hym selfe spake
+oute a loude and sayd, he was not at home. Than sayde Ennius: what,
+manne, thynke you that I knowe not your voyce? Wherevnto Nasica
+aunsweredde and sayde: what a dishoneste man be you? Whan I sought you,
+I beleued your mayde, that sayde ye were not at home, and ye wyll not
+beleue me myn owne selfe.</p>
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<h3><a name="Of_Fabius_Minutius_and_his_sonne_cxiii" id="Of_Fabius_Minutius_and_his_sonne_cxiii"></a>&para; <i>Of Fabius Minutius and his sonne.</i> cxiii.</h3>
+
+
+<p>&para; Fabius Minutius was of his sonne exhorted on a tyme to gette and
+conquere a place that was mete for them, and to theyr great auauntage,
+the whiche thynge he sayde, they myght do with the losse of a fewe men.
+Wyll ye be one of those fewe, sayde Fabius to his sonne?</p>
+
+<p>Therby shewynge, that it is a poynt of a good capiteyne to care for the
+lest of his souldiours, and to saue them as nere as he can.<a name="FNanchor_298_298" id="FNanchor_298_298"></a><a href="#Footnote_298_298" class="fnanchor">[298]</a></p>
+
+<p>Th' emperour Antoni[n]us Pius loued moche this sentence of Scipio,
+whiche wolde ofte saye: I hadde leauer saue one citezen, thanne slee a
+thousande ennemyes.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_ii128" id="Page_ii128">[Pg 128]</a></span></p>
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<h3><a name="Of_Aurelian_that_was_displeased_bycause_the_cite_Tyna_was_closed" id="Of_Aurelian_that_was_displeased_bycause_the_cite_Tyna_was_closed"></a>&para; <i>Of Aurelian, that was displeased, bycause the cite Tyna was closed agaynst hym.</i> cxiiii.</h3>
+
+
+
+<p>&para; What tyme the emperour Aurelian came to the cytie Tyana, he founde hit
+closed agaynste hym; wherfore all angerly he sayde: I woll not leaue a
+dogge a lyue in this towne;&mdash;whiche wordes reioyced moche his menne of
+warre, by cause of the great praye and botye that they thoughte to wynne
+there. One of the citezins, called Heradamon, for feare lest he shuld be
+slayne amonge the other, betrayed the cyte. Whan Aurelian had taken the
+cite, the fyrste thinge he dyd, he slewe Heradamon the traytour to his
+contrey; and to his souldiors that came to hym and desyred, that they
+myght accordynge to his promyse, ouerren and spoile the cyte, he
+answered: go to, I sayde I wolde nat leaue a dogge a lyue; spare nat,
+kyll al the dogges in the towne.</p>
+
+<p class="center">
+By this meane the gentyl prince rewarded<br />
+the traytoure accordinge to his<br />
+deseruinge, and dispointed<br />
+the couetise of his<br />
+souldyours.<a name="FNanchor_299_299" id="FNanchor_299_299"></a><a href="#Footnote_299_299" class="fnanchor">[299]</a><br />
+<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_ii129" id="Page_ii129">[Pg 129]</a></span></p>
+
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<h3><a name="Of_the_Nunne_forced_that_durst_not_crie_cxv" id="Of_the_Nunne_forced_that_durst_not_crie_cxv"></a>&para; <i>Of the Nunne forced that durst not crie.</i> cxv.</h3>
+
+
+<p>&para; A certayne Nunne with swellyng of hir bealie was bewrayed to haue
+companied with a man. And beyng called before the couente, was right
+sharpely rebuked by the Abbesse, for puttinge of their house to so great
+a shame. She, to excuse hir-selfe, sayde, she was forced by a yonge man,
+that came into hir bedde chaumbre, agaynst whom (beynge stronger than
+she) it was in vain for hir to striue, and force coulde not be imputed
+to hir for a cryme. Then sayde the Abbesse: thou mought est haue bene
+helde excused, if thou haddest cryed. The Nunne sayed: so woulde I haue
+doone, had it not beene in our Dortour<a name="FNanchor_300_300" id="FNanchor_300_300"></a><a href="#Footnote_300_300" class="fnanchor">[300]</a> where to crye is contrary to
+our Religion.</p>
+
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<h3><a name="Of_him_that_sayde_he_was_the_Diuelles_man_cxvi" id="Of_him_that_sayde_he_was_the_Diuelles_man_cxvi"></a>&para; <i>Of him that sayde he was the Diuelles man.</i> cxvi.</h3>
+
+
+<p>&para; In the ciuile seditious time of Edwarde the fourth and Henry the
+syxte,<a name="FNanchor_301_301" id="FNanchor_301_301"></a><a href="#Footnote_301_301" class="fnanchor">[301]</a> one chaunced to mete with a company, that quickly asked him:
+whose man art<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_ii130" id="Page_ii130">[Pg 130]</a></span> thou? Kinge Edwardes, quoth he. Art thou so (quoth they)?
+and all [set] to beate him: For they were of Henrie's syde. Wherefore to
+the nexte company that mette him and demaunded whose man he was, he
+answered: kyng Henries. Art thou so (quoth they), and likewyse all [set]
+to bete him. For they were on Edwardes parte. The Felow, thus sore
+beaten, went foorth, and met with another route, who asked him: whose
+man art thou? He, beynge at his wittes ende what to saye, aunswered: the
+Dyuelles man. Than the dyuell goe<a name="FNanchor_302_302" id="FNanchor_302_302"></a><a href="#Footnote_302_302" class="fnanchor">[302]</a> with thee (saide they). Amen
+(quoth he): For it is the best maister that I [have] serued this daie.</p>
+
+<p>By this tale ye maye perceiue, how greuouse and perillous all ciuyle
+sedicions be, so doubtfull may it stand, that a man can not tel on which
+side to holde. For he that now is stronger, another tyme is weaker, as
+Fortune list to turne hir wheele.</p>
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<h3><a name="Of_the_vplandishe303_priest_that_preached_of_Charitie_cxvii" id="Of_the_vplandishe303_priest_that_preached_of_Charitie_cxvii"></a>&para; <i>Of the vplandishe<a name="FNanchor_303_303" id="FNanchor_303_303"></a><a href="#Footnote_303_303" class="fnanchor">[303]</a> priest, that preached of Charitie.</i> cxvii.</h3>
+
+
+<p>&para; A priest in the countrey, not the wysest nor the best learned,
+preached to his parisheners of charitie so vehemently, that he sayed
+plainely, that it was<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_ii131" id="Page_ii131">[Pg 131]</a></span> impossible for anye man to be saued or to come to
+heauen without charitie, except onely the kynges grace, God saue hym.</p>
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<h3><a name="Another_sayinge_of_the_same_preest_cxviii" id="Another_sayinge_of_the_same_preest_cxviii"></a>&para; <i>Another sayinge of the same preest.</i> cxviii.</h3>
+
+
+<p>&para; Before the kynges Maiestyes commissioners sent<a name="FNanchor_304_304" id="FNanchor_304_304"></a><a href="#Footnote_304_304" class="fnanchor">[304]</a> downe intoo the
+realme in visytacyon, it chaunced the forsayd preest among other to
+appere: to whom one of the vysytours (guessyng quickly what docter he
+was) sayde: Mayster parsone, howe spende you youre tyme? what rede you?
+Forsoothe, syr (sayd the preest), I occupy my selfe in readyng the New
+Testament. That is very well done (sayd the commissioner). But sir, I
+pray you, who made the newe Testament? That dyd (said the preest) kynge
+Henry the eyghte, God haue mercye vpon hys soule!<a name="FNanchor_305_305" id="FNanchor_305_305"></a><a href="#Footnote_305_305" class="fnanchor">[305]</a><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_ii132" id="Page_ii132">[Pg 132]</a></span></p>
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<h3><a name="Of_the_fryer_that_praysed_sainct_Frauncis_cxix" id="Of_the_fryer_that_praysed_sainct_Frauncis_cxix"></a>&para; <i>Of the fryer that praysed sainct Frauncis.</i> cxix.</h3>
+
+
+<p>&para; A fryer, preachyng to the people, extolled saynct Frauncis aboue
+confessors, doctours, vyrgins, martyrs, prophetes, yea, and aboue one
+more than prophetes, John the Baptist, and finially aboue the
+Seraphicall order of angels ; and stil he sayd: yet let vs goe higher.
+So whan he could goe no further, exccpte he shoulde put Christe out of
+hys place, whiche the good man was halfe afrayed to do, hee sayd aloude:
+and yet we haue founde no fit place for hym. And staying a lyttell
+whyle, hee cryed out at laste, sayinge: Where shall we place this holy
+father? A frowarde felowe, standyng among the audeynce, saide: if thou
+canst find none other, than set hym here in my place: for I am weary.
+And so went his way.</p>
+
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<h3><a name="Of_hym_that_warned_his_wife_of_wasshynge_her_face_in_foule_puddell" id="Of_hym_that_warned_his_wife_of_wasshynge_her_face_in_foule_puddell"></a>&para; <i>Of hym that warned his wife of wasshynge her face in foule puddell water.</i> cxx.</h3>
+
+
+
+<p>&para; A man dwellyng in the countrey, takynge his iourney, bad hys wife in
+his absence playe the good husewyfe, that he at his home comyng<a name="FNanchor_306_306" id="FNanchor_306_306"></a><a href="#Footnote_306_306" class="fnanchor">[306]</a>
+might finde<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_ii133" id="Page_ii133">[Pg 133]</a></span> all thynges well. Swete husbande (quoth she), commaunde
+what ye wyll, and you shall fynde me obedyense in al thynges. Dere heart
+(sayd he), I wil you no more but this one thynge, whiche is easye ynough
+to do. What is that (quoth she)? That you wasshe not your face wyth this
+water, shewing hir a puddell in a donghill, foule blacke, and stinkynge.
+As oft as she in his absence went by that puddell, hir mynde was
+meruallously moued, for what cause hir husebande so diligently warned
+hir of that thynge onely. Nor shee coulde not perswade hir selfe, but
+that there was some great thynge in it. To be brefe, it tempted hir so,
+that she wasshed, that is, she defiled hir face. She loked in the
+glasse, and was greatly displeased with hir self. Yea, and it was foure
+or fyue daies after, er shee coulde wasshe out the stynke and steinyng.
+Whan the good manne came home, hee found his wyfe very pensife and
+loking angerly. What is the matter (quoth he)? Shee at laste coulde not
+forbeare, but blamed him for warnyng hir to wasshe in that water, and
+shewed hym what had chaunced. Why wasshed you in it (quoth he)? I gaue
+you warnynge, that you shoulde not wasshe therein, to the intente this
+harme shoulde haue not happned.</p>
+
+<p>By thys tale ye may perceyue, that the more yee<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_ii134" id="Page_ii134">[Pg 134]</a></span> forbydde some women a
+thynge, the greater desyre they haue to do it.</p>
+
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<h3><a name="Of_the_husbandman_that_caused_the_iudge_to_geue_sentence_agaynst_him" id="Of_the_husbandman_that_caused_the_iudge_to_geue_sentence_agaynst_him"></a>&para; <i>Of the husbandman that caused the iudge to geue sentence agaynst him selfe.</i> cxxi.</h3>
+
+
+
+<p>&para; An husbandman in Zeland came before the chiefe ruler of the countrey
+(whose bull had kyld the poore mans cow) and after he had leaue to
+speake, hee sayde: my bull leapyng ouer the dyche hath kyld your cow;
+what is the law? The ruler, mistrustyng no deceit, answered: thou muste
+paie for hir. Than with licence the poore man sayd: Sir, I failled in my
+tale: your bull hath kyld my cow. The ruler, beyng a little amoued,
+sayde: this is another matter. The poore man sayd: Verely it is all one
+thyng: and you haue truely iudged.</p>
+
+<p>By this tale ye perceyue, that a wyse iudge wyll first know the cause
+well, and yet will not be hasty to geue sentence. The prouerbe biddeth
+thus: Iudge righteously the cause of the pore and needy.</p>
+
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<h3><a name="Of_the_Italian_friar_that_shoulde_preach_before_the_B_of_Rome_and" id="Of_the_Italian_friar_that_shoulde_preach_before_the_B_of_Rome_and"></a>&para; <i>Of the Italian friar that shoulde preach before the B. of Rome and his cardinals.</i> cxxii.</h3>
+
+
+
+<p>&para; A famous frier in Italye, called Robert Liciens,<a name="FNanchor_307_307" id="FNanchor_307_307"></a><a href="#Footnote_307_307" class="fnanchor">[307]</a> appoincted to
+preache before the bishop of Rome<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_ii135" id="Page_ii135">[Pg 135]</a></span> and his cardynals beinge in the
+pulpit, and beholdyng the bishop and his cardinals, enter into the
+churche with so great pompe, noise, and rufflyng, that no king vse[d]
+the lyke, and seyng the bishop borne by vi men, and beynge at great
+leysure set downe, and harkenyng what he would saye, he sayd nought
+elles but this: Phy on S. Peter! phy on S. Paule! and with rauyng he
+spit now on the ryght side, and nowe on the left syde: and so, without
+more ado, shouyng through the preace,<a name="FNanchor_308_308" id="FNanchor_308_308"></a><a href="#Footnote_308_308" class="fnanchor">[308]</a> gat hym awaie, leauyng them
+all astonied: some thynkyng hym to bee fallen into a furie: other
+supposyng him to bee fallen into some heresy, Iewishe or Paganise
+belefe, that he so burst out intoo suche blasphemies. And whan it was
+consulted to laie hym in prison, a cardinall, who knewe his wytte, and
+loued hym, perswaded, that he shoulde fyrste be called before the bishop
+and certayne cardinals, to here what he would saye. And so beyng
+inquired, why hee burste out into so horrible blasphemies,<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_ii136" id="Page_ii136">[Pg 136]</a></span> he answered,
+that he had appointed a farre other argument: and in fewe woordes
+declared the whole summe of hys sermon. But whan I (sayde he) sawe you
+lyue so pompously, and in so great delites and pleasures: and on
+th'other side consydered, howe homely, howe peyneful, and how harde a
+lyfe the Apostles ledde, whose places you supplie, I gathered, that
+eyther they were mad, that by so sharpe a waye contended to come to
+heauen, or els that you holde<a name="FNanchor_309_309" id="FNanchor_309_309"></a><a href="#Footnote_309_309" class="fnanchor">[309]</a> the streight way to hell. But of you
+that beare the keyes of heauen, I could not perswade my self to deeme
+euill. Than what els could I do, but detest theyr foolyshnes whiche,
+whan thei might after this facion haue liued gloriously in all welth and
+pleasure, wold rather all their life turment them selfes with
+watchynges, fastynges and other peynfull labours?</p>
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<h3><a name="Of_the_doctour_that_sayd_in_Erasmus_workes_were_heresies_cxxiii" id="Of_the_doctour_that_sayd_in_Erasmus_workes_were_heresies_cxxiii"></a>&para; <i>Of the doctour that sayd, in Erasmus workes were heresies.</i> cxxiii.</h3>
+
+
+<p>&para; A notable doctour, preachyng in a solemne audience, sayd, that in
+Erasmus workes were certayne heresies. Who, beyng come out of the
+pulpit, was desired of a learned man to shewe foorthe some place
+hereticall. Hee aunswered, that he had<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_ii137" id="Page_ii137">[Pg 137]</a></span> neuer red Erasmus bookes: hee
+began once to reade the woorke intitled <i>Moria</i>,<a name="FNanchor_310_310" id="FNanchor_310_310"></a><a href="#Footnote_310_310" class="fnanchor">[310]</a> but by reason it
+was so high a stile, he feared to fal into some heresy.</p>
+
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<h3><a name="Of_the_frier_that_preached_at_Paules_crosse_agaynst_Erasmus_cxxiv" id="Of_the_frier_that_preached_at_Paules_crosse_agaynst_Erasmus_cxxiv"></a>&para; <i>Of the frier that preached at Paules crosse agaynst Erasmus.</i> cxxiv.</h3>
+
+
+<p>&para; A great clerke, noseld<a name="FNanchor_311_311" id="FNanchor_311_311"></a><a href="#Footnote_311_311" class="fnanchor">[311]</a> vp in scoole doctours, not well
+vnderstanding the latin stile and phrase, that than began to florishe
+apase, and hauynge smale acquaintaunce with the noble authours of the
+latyne tongue, saide, that Erasmus, with his rhetorike and eloquence
+went about to corrupte the Byble. For this (quoth he) I dare be bolde to
+say: that the holy scripture ought not to be mingled with the eloquence
+of Tully, nor yet of Cicero.<a name="FNanchor_312_312" id="FNanchor_312_312"></a><a href="#Footnote_312_312" class="fnanchor">[312]</a><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_ii138" id="Page_ii138">[Pg 138]</a></span></p>
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<h3><a name="Of_an_other_frier_that_taxed_Erasmus_for_writyng_Germana_theologia" id="Of_an_other_frier_that_taxed_Erasmus_for_writyng_Germana_theologia"></a>&para; <i>Of an other frier that taxed Erasmus for writyng Germana theologia.</i> cxxv.</h3>
+
+
+
+<p>&para; A fryer, that preached on a tyme too the people, inueighed greatly
+agaynste Erasmus, because he, in his booke called <i>Enchiridion</i>,<a name="FNanchor_313_313" id="FNanchor_313_313"></a><a href="#Footnote_313_313" class="fnanchor">[313]</a>
+preysyng the Apostles doctryne, sayde, that theirs was <i>Germana
+theologia</i>, that is to saye in Englishe, the very ryght diuinitee. Lo
+(sayeth this dotishe fryer), here may ye see, what a man Erasmus is: he
+sayeth, there is no diuinite but in Germonie, where heretikes are
+specially fauored and maintayned.</p>
+
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<h3><a name="Of_an_other_that_inueighed_agaynst_the_same_Erasmus_cxxvi" id="Of_an_other_that_inueighed_agaynst_the_same_Erasmus_cxxvi"></a>&para; <i>Of an other that inueighed agaynst the same Erasmus.</i> cxxvi.</h3>
+
+
+<p>&para; Because Erasmus wrote, that it wer better for the monke of the
+charterhouse to eate fleshe than to suffer his brother <i>Venire in
+capitis discrimen</i>, that is to saye, than his brother should stand in
+ieoperdie of his life: this dotishe doctour interpretat his wordes thus:
+The charterhouse monke wer better eate fleshe, than his head shoulde a
+littell ake.<a name="FNanchor_314_314" id="FNanchor_314_314"></a><a href="#Footnote_314_314" class="fnanchor">[314]<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_ii139" id="Page_ii139">[Pg 139]</a></span></a></p>
+
+<p>By these tales we may se, what peuysshe preachers haue been in this
+world: And be thei neuer so foolishe: yet the ignorant people, lacking
+lerninge to iudge suche matters, thinke them selues well taught, when
+they be cleane misledde.</p>
+
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<h3><a name="Of_kyng_Richarde_the_iii_and_the_Northern_man315_cxxvii" id="Of_kyng_Richarde_the_iii_and_the_Northern_man315_cxxvii"></a>&para; <i>Of kyng Richarde the iii, and the Northern man.</i><a name="FNanchor_315_315" id="FNanchor_315_315"></a><a href="#Footnote_315_315" class="fnanchor">[315]</a> cxxvii.</h3>
+
+
+<p>&para; After kyng Richard the iii had vsurped the crowne of England, he, to
+staye and stablishe the people, that sore murmured against his dooynges,
+sent for fyue thousand men out of the North partes vp to London: and as
+he was mustryng of them in Thickettes feelde, one of the souldiers, cam,
+and clappynge the kyng on the shoulder, said: Diccon, Diccon, by the
+mis, ays blith that thaust kyng!<a name="FNanchor_316_316" id="FNanchor_316_316"></a><a href="#Footnote_316_316" class="fnanchor">[316]<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_ii140" id="Page_ii140">[Pg 140]</a></span></a></p>
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<h3><a name="Of_the_Canon_and_his_man_cxxviii" id="Of_the_Canon_and_his_man_cxxviii"></a>&para; <i>Of the Canon and his man.</i> cxxviii</h3>
+
+
+<p>&para; A canon in Hereforde, that kepte a good house, toke into his seruice a
+gentilmans sonne, to trane and bryng hym vp, to wayte and serue at the
+table.<a name="FNanchor_317_317" id="FNanchor_317_317"></a><a href="#Footnote_317_317" class="fnanchor">[317]</a> So on a day the sayde canon, hauynge many strangers at his
+bourd, made a signe to his man, that there wanted some thyng. He, nought
+perceuyng, cam to his maister and sayde: Sir, what lacke you? Seest not,
+man (quoth he), they haue no bread on the table? Sir, saide his man,
+there was enough euen now, if they woulde haue let it alone.</p>
+
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<h3><a name="Of_the_same_Canon_and_his_sayd_man_cxxix" id="Of_the_same_Canon_and_his_sayd_man_cxxix"></a>&para; <i>Of the same Canon and his sayd man.</i> cxxix.</h3>
+
+
+<p>&para; The same Canon, an other tyme, bad his sayd seruant after supper, go
+downe and draw a cuppe of wyne, to make his guestes drinke at theyr
+departing, whom he had before taught, how he shuld take of the couer. So
+the yong man, bringyng the candell in one hand, and the cup of wine
+couered in the<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_141" id="Page_141">[Pg 141]</a></span> other, offred it vnto them. His mayster, seyng that,
+made a token to hym. He, not knowyng wherfore, sayd: Sir, what woulde
+you haue? Take of the couer (quoth his mayster). Then holde you the
+candell (saide the seruaunt).</p>
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<h3><a name="Of_the_gentilman_that_checked_hys_seruant_for_talke_of_ryngyng" id="Of_the_gentilman_that_checked_hys_seruant_for_talke_of_ryngyng"></a>&para; <i>Of the gentilman that checked hys seruant for talke of ryngyng.</i> cxxx.</h3>
+
+
+
+<p>&para; A gentilman, brought vp at London in an In of court, was maryed, and
+kepte an house in the countrey: and as he sate at supper with his
+neyghbours aboute hym, vpon an alhalow-daie at night, amonge other
+communication, he talked of the solemne ringyng of the belles (as was
+the vsage than). His man, that waited on the table, sayd to his maister:
+sir, he that were this nyghte in London, shoulde here wonderfull
+ryngyng, and so began a tale. Hys mayster, not content with his talke,
+said: Hold thy peace, foole, wilt thou tel me of ringing in London? I
+know it (I trow) a lyttell better than thou. For I haue beene there an C
+alhalow nyghtes.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_142" id="Page_142">[Pg 142]</a></span></p>
+
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<h3><a name="Of_the_blynde_man_and_his_boye_cxxxi" id="Of_the_blynde_man_and_his_boye_cxxxi"></a>&para; <i>Of the blynde man and his boye.</i> cxxxi.</h3>
+
+
+<p>&para; A certayne poore blynde man<a name="FNanchor_318_318" id="FNanchor_318_318"></a><a href="#Footnote_318_318" class="fnanchor">[318]</a> in the countrey was ledde by a curst
+boy to an house where a weddyng was: so the honest folkes gaue him
+meate, and at last one gaue hym a legge of a good fatte goose: whiche
+the boy receyuyng kept a syde, and did eate it vp hym selfe. Anon the
+blynde man saide: Iacke, where is the leg of the goose? What goose (quod
+the boy)? I haue none. Thou liest (quoth the blinde man), I dyd smell
+it. And so they wente forth chidyng together, tyll the shrewde boye led
+the poore man against a post: where hittyng his brow a great blow, he
+cryed out: A hoorson boy, what hast thou done? Why (quod the boy) could
+you not smell the post, that was so nere, as wel as the goose that was
+so farre from your nose?</p>
+
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<h3><a name="Of_him_that_sold_two_lodes_of_hey_cxxxii" id="Of_him_that_sold_two_lodes_of_hey_cxxxii"></a>&para; <i>Of him that sold two lodes of hey.</i> cxxxii.</h3>
+
+
+<p>&para; In London dwelled a mery pleasant man (whiche for [t]his tyme we may
+call Makeshift<a name="FNanchor_319_319" id="FNanchor_319_319"></a><a href="#Footnote_319_319" class="fnanchor">[319]</a>) who, beyng<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_143" id="Page_143">[Pg 143]</a></span> arrayed somewhat haruest lyke, with a
+pytcheforke on his necke, went forth in a mornyng and mette with twoo
+lode of hey comeyng to the citieward, for the whiche he bargayned with
+the owners to paye xxx shillynges. Whyther shall we bring them, quoth
+thei? To the Swan in Longe Lane<a name="FNanchor_320_320" id="FNanchor_320_320"></a><a href="#Footnote_320_320" class="fnanchor">[320]</a><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_144" id="Page_144">[Pg 144]</a></span> by Smithfeeld (quoth he), and soo
+left them, and sped him thether the next<a name="FNanchor_321_321" id="FNanchor_321_321"></a><a href="#Footnote_321_321" class="fnanchor">[321]</a> waye. Whan he came to the
+good man of the Swanne, he asked, if he would bye two good lodes of hey?
+Yes marie, sayde he. Where be thei? Euen here they come (quoth
+Makshyft). What shall I paye? sayde the inholder. Foure nobles (quoth
+hee): but at length they agreed to xx shilling. Whan the hey was come,
+Makshyft bad them vnlode. While they were doyng so,<a name="FNanchor_322_322" id="FNanchor_322_322"></a><a href="#Footnote_322_322" class="fnanchor">[322]</a> he came to the
+inholder,<a name="FNanchor_323_323" id="FNanchor_323_323"></a><a href="#Footnote_323_323" class="fnanchor">[323]</a> and said: sir, I prai you let me haue my monei: for,
+while my men be vnloding, I wil goe into the citee to buy a littell
+stuffe to haue home with me. The good man was content, and gaue it hym.
+And so he went his way. Whan the men had vnloded the hey, they came and
+demanded their money. To whom the inholder saide: I haue paid your
+maister. What master (quoth they)? Mary, quod he, the same man that made
+you bring the hey hether. We know hym not, quod they. No more doe I
+(quod he); that same man bargayned with me for the hey, and hym haue I
+payed: I neyther<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_145" id="Page_145">[Pg 145]</a></span> bought nor sold with you. That is not enough for vs,
+quod they; and thus thei stroue together. But what ende thei made, I
+know not. For I thynke Makeshift came not againe to agree them.</p>
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<h3><a name="How_a_mery_man_deuised_to_cal_people_to_a_playe_cxxxiii" id="How_a_mery_man_deuised_to_cal_people_to_a_playe_cxxxiii"></a>&para; <i>How a mery man deuised to cal people to a playe.</i> cxxxiii.</h3>
+
+<p>&para; A Mery man, called Qualitees,<a name="FNanchor_324_324" id="FNanchor_324_324"></a><a href="#Footnote_324_324" class="fnanchor">[324]</a> on a tyme sette vp billes vpon
+postes aboute London, that who so euer woulde come to Northumberlande
+Place<a name="FNanchor_325_325" id="FNanchor_325_325"></a><a href="#Footnote_325_325" class="fnanchor">[325]</a> should here suche an antycke plaie<a name="FNanchor_326_326" id="FNanchor_326_326"></a><a href="#Footnote_326_326" class="fnanchor">[326]</a> that, both for the
+mattier and handelyng, the lyke was neuer heard before. For all they
+that shoulde playe therin were gentilmen.</p>
+
+<p>Those bylles moued the people (whan the daye came) to come thyther
+thycke and threfolde. Now he had hyred two men to stande at the gate
+with a boxe (as the facion is), who toke of euery persone that came in a
+peny, or an halfe peny at the least. So whan he thought the market was
+at the best, he came to the gate, and toke from the men<a name="FNanchor_327_327" id="FNanchor_327_327"></a><a href="#Footnote_327_327" class="fnanchor">[327]</a> the<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_146" id="Page_146">[Pg 146]</a></span> boxe
+with money, and geuynge theym their duitie, bade them go into the hall,
+and see the rome kepte: for hee shoulde gooe and fetche in the plaiers.
+They went in, and he went out, and lockt the gate faste, and toke the
+key with hym: and gat hym on hys geldynge, whiche stode ready saddilled
+without Aldryshegate<a name="FNanchor_328_328" id="FNanchor_328_328"></a><a href="#Footnote_328_328" class="fnanchor">[328]</a> at an In,<a name="FNanchor_329_329" id="FNanchor_329_329"></a><a href="#Footnote_329_329" class="fnanchor">[329]</a> and towarde Barnet he roade
+apace. The people taryed from twoo a clocke tyll three, from three to
+foure, styll askyng and criyng: Whan shall the plaie begyn? How long
+shall we tarye? Whan the clocke stroke foure, all the people murmured
+and sayed: Wherefore tarye we any longer? Here shall be no playe. Where
+is the knaue, that hath beguyled vs hyther? It were almes to<a name="FNanchor_330_330" id="FNanchor_330_330"></a><a href="#Footnote_330_330" class="fnanchor">[330]</a>
+thruste a dagger throughe hys<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_147" id="Page_147">[Pg 147]</a></span> chekes, sayeth one. It were well done to
+cutte of hys eares, sayeth an other. Haue hym to Newgat! sayeth one:
+nay, haue hym to Tyburne! sayed an other. Shall wee loose our money
+thus, saieth he? Shall wee bee thus beguiled, sayeth this man? shulde
+this be suffered, saieth that man? And so muttrynge and chydyng, they
+came to the gate to goe oute; but they coulde not. For it was faste
+lockt, and Qualitees had the key away with him. Now begynne they a
+freshe to fret and fume: nowe they swere and stare: now they stampe and
+threaten: for the locking in greeued them more than all the losse and
+mockery before: but all auayle not. For there muste they abide, till
+wayes may be founde to open the gate, that they maye goe out. The
+maidens that shoulde haue dressed theyr maisters suppers, they wepe and
+crye; boyes and prentises sorow and lament; they wote not what to say,
+whan thei come home.</p>
+
+<p>
+<span style="margin-left: 1em;">For al this foule araye,</span><br />
+<span style="margin-left: 1em;">For al this great frai,</span><br />
+<span style="margin-left: 1em;">Qualites is mery ridyng on his waie.<a name="FNanchor_331_331" id="FNanchor_331_331"></a><a href="#Footnote_331_331" class="fnanchor">[331]</a></span><br />
+<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_148" id="Page_148">[Pg 148]</a></span></p>
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<h3><a name="How_the_image_of_the_dyuell_was_lost_and_sought_cxxxiiii" id="How_the_image_of_the_dyuell_was_lost_and_sought_cxxxiiii"></a>&para; <i>How the image of the dyuell was lost and sought.</i> cxxxiiii.</h3>
+
+<p>&para; In the Goldesmithes hall, amonge theyr other plate, they had a fair
+standyng cuppe, with an image of S. Dunstane on the couer, whiche image
+hadde an image of the dyuell at his foote.<a name="FNanchor_332_332" id="FNanchor_332_332"></a><a href="#Footnote_332_332" class="fnanchor">[332]</a> So it chaunced at a
+banket that the sayed image of the dyuell was lost and gone. On the
+morow after, the bedyll of the company was sent about to serche amonge
+the goldesmythes, if any suche came to be sold. And lyke as of
+other<a name="FNanchor_333_333" id="FNanchor_333_333"></a><a href="#Footnote_333_333" class="fnanchor">[333]</a> he enquired of one, if any man had brought to hym to be solde
+the foole that sate at sainct Dunstanes foote vpon the couer of the
+cuppe? What foole meane you? quoth he. Mary, the diuell, sayde the
+bedill. Why, quoth the other, call ye the diuell a foole; ye shal find
+him a shrewd foole, if ye haue ought to do with hym? And why seke you
+for him here amonge vs? Where shoulde I els seke for hym?<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_149" id="Page_149">[Pg 149]</a></span> (sayde the
+bedill). Mary in hell, quoth he, for there ye shall be sure to fynde the
+dyuell.</p>
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<h3><a name="Of_Tachas_kyng_of_Aegypt_and_Agesilaus_cxxxv" id="Of_Tachas_kyng_of_Aegypt_and_Agesilaus_cxxxv"></a>&para; <i>Of Tachas, kyng of Aegypt, and Agesilaus.</i> cxxxv.</h3>
+
+<p>&para; What tyme Agesilaus, king of the Lacedemonians, was come to Tachas the
+kyng of Egipt, to aide him in his wars: Tachas beholdyng Agesilaus to
+bee a man of so litel stature and smal personage tauntyng hym with this
+scoffe, sayde: The mountayne hath trauayled, Iupiter forbode, but yet
+hee hathe broughte forth a mouse.<a name="FNanchor_334_334" id="FNanchor_334_334"></a><a href="#Footnote_334_334" class="fnanchor">[334]</a> Agesilaus beynge offended wyth
+hys saying, answered: and yet the tyme wyl come, that I shall seeme to
+the a Lyon. And not longe after, it chaunced through a sedycion that
+arose amonge the Aegypcyans, whan Agesilaus was gone from him, the king
+was constreyned to flee to the Persians.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_150" id="Page_150">[Pg 150]</a></span></p>
+
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<h3><a name="Of_Corar_the_Rhetorician_and_Tisias_hys_scoler_cxxxvi" id="Of_Corar_the_Rhetorician_and_Tisias_hys_scoler_cxxxvi"></a>&para; <i>Of Corar the Rhetorician, and Tisias hys scoler.</i> cxxxvi.</h3>
+
+
+<p>&para; A certayne man called Corar, determyned hym selfe for mede<a name="FNanchor_335_335" id="FNanchor_335_335"></a><a href="#Footnote_335_335" class="fnanchor">[335]</a> to
+teache the arte of Rhetorycke, with whom a yong man, named Tisias,
+couenanted on this wyse, that he wold pay him his wages, whan he had
+perfectly learned the scyence. So whan he had lerned the art, he made no
+haste to paye his teacher, wherfore hys mayster sued hym. Whan they came
+before the iudges, the yonge man demaunded of hys mayster, what was the
+effecte of the scyence? He aunswered: In reasonyng to perswade.<a name="FNanchor_336_336" id="FNanchor_336_336"></a><a href="#Footnote_336_336" class="fnanchor">[336]</a>
+Than go to, if I perswade these honourable iudges that I owe you
+nothing, I wil pay you nothyng: for you are cast in your action. And yf
+I can not perswade them, than wil I pay you nothing, because I haue not
+yet perfectly learned the art. Corar wrestyng<a name="FNanchor_337_337" id="FNanchor_337_337"></a><a href="#Footnote_337_337" class="fnanchor">[337]</a> the yonge mans owne
+argumente agaynst hym selfe, said: If thou perswade them, that thou
+oughteste<a name="FNanchor_338_338" id="FNanchor_338_338"></a><a href="#Footnote_338_338" class="fnanchor">[338]</a> me nothynge, than (accordynge to the couenaunt) thou must
+nedes pay mee my wages: for thou haste the art perfectly.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_151" id="Page_151">[Pg 151]</a></span> Now yf thou
+canst not perswade them: yet shalt thou pay mee my wages, because thou
+arte condemned by the Iudges' sentence to be my detour.</p>
+
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<h3><a name="Of_Augustus_and_Athenodorus_the_Phylosopher_cxxxvii" id="Of_Augustus_and_Athenodorus_the_Phylosopher_cxxxvii"></a>&para; <i>Of Augustus and Athenodorus the Phylosopher.</i> cxxxvii.</h3>
+
+
+<p>&para; What tyme Athenodorus the Phylosopher had (by reason of hys greate
+age) obteyned lycence of Auguste to depart home, he admonysshed him,
+that beyng angry, he should neyth saye nor dooe any thyng, before he had
+by hym selfe rehearsed ouer the xxiiii Greeke letters. Whych saying whan
+the prince heard, he sayed: he had yet nede of him to teache hym the
+arte to keepe sylence, by coloure whereof he retayned the olde man about
+hym a whole yere longer.</p>
+
+<p>By this tale we maie perceyue, that of al things a prince, a ruler, a
+iudge ought specyally to eschewe wrathe. For the morall booke sayeth:
+Anger troubleth the mynde, that it can not discerne the truth. And
+Seneca wryteth, that slowe tarryinge doeth profite in nothyng but in
+wrathe.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_152" id="Page_152">[Pg 152]</a></span></p>
+
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<h3><a name="Of_the_frenche_kyng_and_the_brome_seller339_cxxxviii" id="Of_the_frenche_kyng_and_the_brome_seller339_cxxxviii"></a>&para; <i>Of the frenche kyng and the brome seller.</i><a name="FNanchor_339_339" id="FNanchor_339_339"></a><a href="#Footnote_339_339" class="fnanchor">[339]</a> cxxxviii.</h3>
+
+
+<p>&para; As a Frenche kyng on a tyme was in huntyng, he hapned to lose his
+companie, and comyng through a brome heath, he herde a poore man and his
+wife piteously complayne on fortune. The kyng, after he had wel heard
+the long lamentacion of theyr poore and miserable state, came vnto them,
+and after a few words he questioned with them howe they liued. They
+shewed him, how they came daily to that heath, and all the brome, that
+thei and their asse coud cary home, was lyttell enough to finde theim
+and their poor children meat. Well (quoth the kyng), loke that you bryng
+to morow early to the court gate as many bromes as you and your asse can
+carye, and see that you sell them well. For I warrant you thei shalbe
+bought apase. They thanked hym, and so he departed from them. Anon came
+the lordes, knightes, and gentilmen to the kinge, and home they rode.
+After supper the kyng called them all before hym, and gaue them in
+commaundement that neither lord, knyght, nor gentilman, should on the
+morow come into the courte wythout a new brome in his hande.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_153" id="Page_153">[Pg 153]</a></span> For he had
+a thyng to doe, whiche they shoulde know afterwarde. So on the morowe,
+whan they come to the court gate, there found they the poore man, his
+wife and the asse, loded with bromes, whiche hee solde to the galauntes
+of the court, euen as he wolde him selfe. Wherby the sayd poore man was
+made riche for euer and they lyttell the woorse. Thus whan the kynge
+sawe the states and gentilmen of his court come in so wel furnished with
+grene bromes, and consydring the cause wherfore it was, he laughed
+merilye.</p>
+
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<h3><a name="An_other_tale_of_the_same_frenche_kyng340_cxxxix" id="An_other_tale_of_the_same_frenche_kyng340_cxxxix"></a>&para; <i>An other tale of the same frenche kyng.</i><a name="FNanchor_340_340" id="FNanchor_340_340"></a><a href="#Footnote_340_340" class="fnanchor">[340]</a> cxxxix.</h3>
+
+
+<p>&para; There chaunced, in a certaine part of the realme, an offyce to fal
+into the kings handes by the deth of a man which was worth a cccc
+crounes by the yere. An honest witty gentilman, dwelling therby,
+trustyng to obteyne the sayde offyce, made as good speede to the courte
+as hee could, and as soone as he might come to the kynges presence, he
+kneled downe, and in most humble wise desired his grace to geue vnto hym
+that offyce, declaring what it was. The king perceiuing how good an<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_154" id="Page_154">[Pg 154]</a></span>
+office it was, and thinking therwith to rewarde some suche one of hys
+seruauntes, that had well deserued it, answered quickely, and sayd: My
+frend, be content; you get it not. The gentilman, heryng those wordes,
+sayd: I most hertely thancke your grace; both I and myne are mooste
+bounden to praye for your hyghnesse;&mdash;and so, makynge lowe obeysaunce,
+wente his waye. Whan he had gone a lyttell waye, the kyng commaunded to
+call hym againe. Whan he was come backe, the kyng asked him if he dyd
+well vnderstand, what answere he gaue hym. Yes, truely, sayd the
+gentilman. What sayd I, quoth the kynge? Marye, your grace bad me bee
+contente, for I shoulde not haue the offyce. Why dyd you than (quoth the
+kyng) geue me so great thankes? Because, sayde the gentylman, your grace
+gaue me so sone an answere without longer suite and losse of tyme,
+whiche would haue bene to me a very muche hyndraunce. For I haue at home
+a great householde, vnto the which it behoueth me to loke dylygently, or
+els it wyl be wrong wyth me. The kynge, markynge well the wysedom and
+dexterytee of the gentylman, and conceyuyng a fauoure towarde hym, sayd:
+Wel, nowe shal you thanke me twyse: for you shall haue the offyce that
+you sewe for: and than, castynge hys eyes vpon hys Chauncelloure,
+com<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_155" id="Page_155">[Pg 155]</a></span>maunded hym, that all suche wrytynges as concerned [t]hys sayd
+offyce, shoulde wyth al speede bee made oute, that he were at home
+agayne to ouerloke hys famyly.</p>
+
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<h3><a name="What_an_Italyan_fryer_dyd_in_his_preachyng_cxl" id="What_an_Italyan_fryer_dyd_in_his_preachyng_cxl"></a>&para; <i>What an Italyan fryer dyd in his preachyng.</i> cxl.</h3>
+
+
+<p>&para; Robert Lyciense, a fryer of Italye (of whome we spake before),
+preachyng on a tyme with great vehemencye of wordes and gesture,
+exhorted the prynces and people to make warre agaynste the Turkes and
+other the enemies of chrystendome: and whan he came to the very effect,
+and [was] moste hotte and earnest in his tale, he began to wepe, that
+there were none, that wold to so godly a purpose offer them selfe to be
+capitains. If this be the let<a name="FNanchor_341_341" id="FNanchor_341_341"></a><a href="#Footnote_341_341" class="fnanchor">[341]</a> of the mattier, beholde me here,
+whiche will be nothynge abasshed to cast aside this grey friers coate,
+and to take vpon mee to be a souldiour, or your capitaine. And euen with
+that woorde he caste of his vpper coate; and vnderneth he was a playne
+souldiour, arraied in a skarlet cloke, and a long rapier hangeyng by his
+side. And in this warlyke apparell, in the personage of a Capitan, he
+stode and preached halfe an houre.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_156" id="Page_156">[Pg 156]</a></span> Being sente for of the Cardinals
+with whom he was familiar, hee was asked what was the pretence of that
+new example. He answered, that he did it for his wenches pleasure, who
+familiarly confessed that nothynge in the sayd Robert displeased hir,
+saue his friers coate. Then saide he to hir:</p>
+
+<p class="center">
+In what apparell shal I best plese you? In a<br />
+man of warres, quoth shee? Than se<br />
+that you be at my sermon to<br />
+morow, quoth he.<a name="FNanchor_342_342" id="FNanchor_342_342"></a><a href="#Footnote_342_342" class="fnanchor">[342]</a></p>
+
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_157" id="Page_157">[Pg 157]</a></span></p>
+
+
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<h2>ADDITIONAL NOTES AND ILLUSTRATIONS.</h2>
+
+<h3>MERY TALES AND QUICK ANSWERES.</h3>
+
+
+<p>P. <a href='#Page_ii16'>16</a>. <i>Of him that preched on Saynt Christophers day.</i></p>
+
+<p>In <i>A Booke of Meery Riddles</i>, 1617 (repr. of ed. 1629, p. 73 of Mr.
+Halliwell's <i>Literature of the xvith and xviith centuries Illustrated,
+&amp;c.</i> 1851), we have the following:&mdash;</p>
+
+<p>The xvii Riddle.</p>
+
+<p>
+<span style="margin-left: 1em;">"Who bare the best burthen that ever was borne</span><br />
+<span style="margin-left: 1em;">At any time since, or at any time befor[n]e.</span><br />
+</p>
+
+<p><i>Solution.</i>&mdash;It was the asse that bare both Our Lady and her Sonne out
+of Egypt."</p>
+
+
+<p>P. <a href='#Page_ii21'>21</a>. <i>Of the yonge woman that sorowed so greatly her husbondes deth.</i></p>
+
+<p>"There was a poor young Woman who had brought herself even to Death's
+Door with grief for her sick Husband, but the good Man her Father did
+all he could to comfort her. <i>Come, Child</i>, said he, <i>we are all mortal.
+Pluck up a good heart, my Child: for let the worst come to the worst, I
+have a better Husband in store for thee. Alas, Sir</i>, says she, <i>what
+d'ye talk of another Husband for? Why, you had as good have stuck a
+Dagger to my Heart. No, no; if ever I think of another Husband, may&mdash;!</i>
+Without any more ado, the Man dies, and the Woman, immediately breaks
+into such Transports of tearing her Hair, and beating her Breast, that
+everybody thought she'd have run stark-mad upon it. But, upon second
+Thoughts, she wipes her Eyes, lifts them up, and cries, <i>Heaven's will
+be done!</i> and turning to her Father, <i>Pray Sir</i>, says she, <i>about t'
+other Husband you were speaking of, is he here in the
+House</i>?"&mdash;<i>Complete London Jester</i>, 1771, p. 49.</p>
+
+<p>This story was appropriated by the editor of <i>Pasquil's Jests, mixed
+with Mother Bunch's Merriments</i>, of which there were several editions,
+the first appearing in 1604. In Pasquil's Jests, the tale is told of a
+"young woman of Barnet."</p>
+
+<p><i>She rowned her father in the eare.</i></p>
+
+<p>Gower (<i>Confessio Amantis</i>, ed. Pauli, Vol. 1. p. 161) has a precisely
+similar expression:&mdash;</p>
+
+<p>
+<span style="margin-left: 1em;">"But whan they rounenin her ere,</span><br />
+<span style="margin-left: 1em;">Than groweth all my moste fere."</span><br />
+<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_158" id="Page_158">[Pg 158]</a></span></p>
+
+
+<p>P. <a href='#Page_ii21'>21</a>. <i>Of him that kissed the mayde with the longe nose.</i></p>
+
+<p>"'Good Sir William, let it rest' quoth shee, 'I know you will not
+beleeue it when I haue reuealed it, neither is it a thing that you can
+helpe: and yet such is my foolishnesse, had it not beene for that, I
+thinke, verily I had granted your suite ere now. But seeing you vrge me
+so much to know what it is, I will tell you: it is, sir, your
+ill-fauoured great nose, that hangs sagging so lothsomely to your lips,
+<i>that I cannot finde in my heart so much as to kisse you</i>.'"&mdash;<i>Pleasant
+History of Thomas of Reading</i>, by T. D. circa 1597, p. 73 (ed. Thoms).</p>
+
+
+<p>P. <a href='#Page_ii26'>26</a>. <i>Of the Marchaunt that lost his bodgetie betwene Ware and
+Lon[don].</i></p>
+
+<p>In <i>Pasquil's Jests</i>, 1604 occurs an account substantially similar to
+the present, of "how a merchant lost his purse between
+<i>Waltam</i> and London."</p>
+
+
+<p>P. <a href='#Page_ii28'>28</a>. <i>Of the fatte woman that solde frute.</i></p>
+
+<p>
+<span style="margin-left: 1em;">"Being thus dispatcht he layes downe Jacke</span><br />
+<span style="margin-left: 1em;">A peny for the shot:</span><br />
+<span style="margin-left: 1em;">'Sir, what shall this doe?' said the boy.</span><br />
+<span style="margin-left: 1em;">'Why, rogue, discharge my pot!</span><br />
+<span style="margin-left: 1em;">So much I cald for, but the rest</span><br />
+<span style="margin-left: 1em;">By me shall nere be paid:</span><br />
+<span style="margin-left: 1em;">For victualls thou didst offer me;</span><br />
+<span style="margin-left: 1em;"><i>Doe and thou woot</i>, I said.'"</span><br />
+</p>
+
+<p><i>The Knave of Clubbs</i>, by S. Rowlands, 1600 (Percy Soc. ed. p. 20).</p>
+
+
+<p>P. <a href='#Page_ii31'>31</a>.&mdash;Wilson introduces the "notable historie" of Papirius Pretextatus
+into his <i>Rule of Reason</i>, 1551, 8<sup>o</sup>, and it had previously been related
+in Caxton's <i>Game and Playe of the Chesse</i>, 1474.</p>
+
+
+<p>P. <a href='#Page_ii33'>33</a>. <i>Of the corrupte man of law.</i></p>
+
+<p>"An arch Barber at a certain Borough in the West, where there are but
+few Electors, had Art enough to suspend his Promise till the Voters, by
+means of <i>Bribery</i>, the <i>old Balsam</i>, were so divided, that the casting
+vote lay in himself. One of the Candidates, who was sensible of it,
+cameinto his little dirty Shop to be shaved, and when the operation was
+finish'd, threw into the Bason <i>Twenty Guineas</i>. The next Day came the
+other Candidate, who was shaved also, and left <i>Thirty</i>. Some Days after
+this, the first return'd to solicit the Barber's Vote, who told him very
+coldly, <i>That he could not promise. Not promise!</i> says the Gentleman;<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_159" id="Page_159">[Pg 159]</a></span>
+why I thought I had been shaved here! 'Tis true, says the Barber, <i>you
+was, but another Gentleman has been trimm'd</i> since that; however, if you
+please, I'll trim you again, and then tell you my mind."&mdash;<i>Complete
+London Jester</i>, ed. 1771, p. 99.</p>
+
+
+<p>P. <a href='#Page_ii35'>35</a>. <i>Conon peaked into the court.</i>&mdash;So in Skelton's <i>Colin Clout</i>
+(Works by Dyce, I. 312), we have:&mdash;</p>
+
+<p>
+<span style="margin-left: 1em;">"He cryeth and he creketh,</span><br />
+<span style="margin-left: 1em;">He pryeth and he peketh,</span><br />
+<span style="margin-left: 1em;">He chides and he chatters," &amp;c.</span><br />
+</p>
+
+<p>In the <i>Posthums Poems of Richard Lovelace, Esq.</i> 1659, 80, p. 60, the
+word is employed in a different sense:&mdash;</p>
+
+<p>
+<span style="margin-left: 1em;">"Have you not marked their C[oe]lestial play,</span><br />
+<span style="margin-left: 1em;">And no more peek'd the gayties of day?"</span><br />
+</p>
+
+<p><i>To peak</i>, however, in the sense in which it is used by Skelton, and in
+the <i>Merie Tales</i>, &amp;c. is of rather frequent occurrence in <i>Scoggin's
+Jests</i>, 1626 (but first printed before 1565); and Gascoigne employs the
+word in the same manner in the <i>Steel Glas</i>, n. d. (1576) 4<sup>o</sup>. The
+passage in Gascoigne, which I perused long ago, was brought back to my
+recollection by a note by the Rev. A. Dyce to Skelton's <i>Colin Clout</i>.</p>
+
+
+<p>P. <a href='#Page_ii38'>38</a>.&mdash;See Diogenes Laertius, transl. by Yonge, p. 226. Diogenes the
+Cynic evidently had Thales in his mind when he said "that mathematicians
+kept their eyes fixed on the sun and moon, and overlooked what was under
+their feet."</p>
+
+
+<p>P. <a href='#Page_ii40'>40</a>. <i>Of him that dreamed he fonde golde.</i></p>
+
+<p>In <i>Pasquil's Jests</i>, we are told "how drunken Mullins of Stratford
+dreamed he found golde." It is the same story.</p>
+
+
+<p>P. <a href='#Page_ii52'>52</a>. <i>Gelidus facet anguis in herba.</i>&mdash;Whoever edited this collection
+of stories seems to have had a great fancy for quotations. Throughout
+the <i>C. Mery Talys</i>, on the contrary, there is not a single instance of
+this passion for extracts. Sir Thomas Overbury, in his <i>Characters</i> (if
+at least they were written by him), ed. 1632, sign. K4, describes "An
+Innes of Court man" as taking "<i>ends of Latine</i>, though it be false,
+with as great confidence as ever <i>Cicero</i> could pronounce an oration." I
+suspect that the <i>Mery Tales and Quicke Answeres</i> were collected by some
+person more or less versed in the classics and in foreign authors, which
+was probably not the case with the <i>C. Mery Talys</i>, which do not smell
+so much of the inkhorn, as Gascoigne would have said.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_160" id="Page_160">[Pg 160]</a></span></p>
+
+
+<p>P. <a href='#Page_ii54'>54</a>. <i>Breble-brable.</i></p>
+
+<p>In <i>Twelfth Night</i>, act iv. sc. 2, Shakespeare makes the Clown use
+<i>bibble-babble</i> in a similar sense; but afterwards in the same drama,
+act v. sc.1, <i>brabble</i> is put for "a brawl."</p>
+
+<p>This word is no doubt the same as the "pribbles and prabbles" which Sir
+Hugh uses more than once in the <i>Merry Wives of Windsor</i>. See act v. sc.
+5.</p>
+
+
+<p>P. <a href='#Page_ii60'>60</a>. <i>Of hym that payde his dette with crienge bea.</i>&mdash;Compare the
+story of "the subtility of Kindlewall the lawyer repayed with the like
+craft," printed in <i>Pasquil's Jests</i>, ed. Gilbertson, n. d. 4<sup>o</sup>.</p>
+
+
+<p>P. <a href='#Page_ii65'>65</a>. <i>All to.</i>&mdash;I fear that I too hastily adopted the self-suggested
+notion that the former words might be read more properly as one word,
+and in the sense which I indicated. Perhaps as <i>all to</i> or <i>al to</i> is
+not uncommonly used by early writers in this way, though the meaning in
+the present case is not particularly clear, it may be better to restore
+the original reading.</p>
+
+
+<p>P. <a href='#Page_ii67'>67</a>. <i>Of the Inholders wyfe and her ii lovers.</i>&mdash;See Rowlands' <i>Knave
+of Clubbs</i>, 1600, ed. Rimbault, p. 25.</p>
+
+
+<p>P. <a href='#Page_ii67'>67</a>. <i>Daungerous of her tayle.</i> So in the <i>Schole-house of Women</i>,
+1542, the author says:&mdash;</p>
+
+<p>
+<span style="margin-left: 1em;">"Plant them round with many a pin,</span><br />
+<span style="margin-left: 1em;">Ringed for routing of pure golde,</span><br />
+<span style="margin-left: 1em;">Faire without, and foule within,</span><br />
+<span style="margin-left: 1em;">And of their tailes have slipper holde."</span><br />
+</p>
+
+
+<p>P. <a href='#Page_ii70'>70</a>. <i>Of Mayster Vavasour and Turpin his man.</i></p>
+
+<p>"A Lawyer and his Clerk riding on the Road, the Clerk desired to know
+what was the chief Point of the Law. His Master said, if he would
+promise to pay for their Suppers that Night, he would tell him; which
+was agreed to. Why then, said the Master, good Witnesses are the chief
+Point in the Law. When they came to the Inn, the Master bespoke a couple
+of Fowls for Supper; and when they had Supped, told the Clerk to pay for
+them according to Agreement. O <i>Sir</i>, says he, where's your
+witness."&mdash;<i>Complete London Jester</i>, ed. 1771, p. 102.</p>
+
+
+<p>P. <a href='#Page_ii72'>72</a>. One of <i>Pasquil's Jests</i> is "how mad Coomes, when his wife was
+drowned, sought her against the stream." It is merely a new application
+of the present anecdote.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_161" id="Page_161">[Pg 161]</a></span></p>
+
+
+<p>P. <a href='#Page_ii75'>75</a>. <i>Of the foole that thought hym selfe deed.</i>&mdash;A story of a similar
+character occurs in <i>The Meeting of Gallants at an Ordinarie, or, the
+Walkes in Powles</i>, 1604, (repr. 1841, p. 19), where "mine Host" gives an
+account of "how a yong fellow was even bespoke and jested to death by
+harlots."</p>
+
+
+<p>P. <a href='#Page_ii93'>93</a>. <i>He fell to a nyce laughyng.</i></p>
+
+<p><i>Nice</i>, in the sense of <i>foolish</i>, is also used by Gower, who likewise
+employs the substantive <i>nicete</i> in a similar way:&mdash;</p>
+
+<p>
+<span style="margin-left: 1em;">"But than it were a <i>nicete</i></span><br />
+<span style="margin-left: 1em;">To telle you, how that I fare!"</span><br />
+</p>
+
+<p>
+<span style="margin-left: 1em;"><i>Confessio Amantis</i>, lib. vi.</span><br />
+</p>
+
+<p>Chaucer employs the word in a similar sense very frequently. In the
+<i>Cuckoo and the Nightingale</i>, is the following passage:&mdash;</p>
+
+<p>
+<span style="margin-left: 1em;">"To telle his might my wit may not suffice,</span><br />
+<span style="margin-left: 1em;">For he can make of wise folks ful nice."</span><br />
+</p>
+
+<p>P. <a href='#Page_ii103'>103</a>. Crakers.&mdash;See the last edition of Nares, voce <i>Crake and
+Craker</i>. But an earlier example of the use of the word than any given in
+the Glossary occurs in Lupset's <i>Works</i>, 1546, 12<sup>mo</sup>
+(<i>A Compendious Treatise teachying the waie of dying well</i>, fol. 34
+<i>verso</i>; this treatise was first printed separately in 1541). In a
+reprint of the <i>C. Mery Talys</i>, which appeared in 1845, the Editor, not
+knowing what to make of <i>crake</i> and <i>craker</i>, altered them, wherever
+they occurred, to <i>crack</i> and <i>cracker</i> respectively!</p>
+
+
+<p>P. <a href='#Page_ii113'>113</a>. Ch' adde.&mdash;In <i>Wits Interpreter, The English Parnassus</i>, by J.
+Cotgrave. 1655, ed. 1662, p. 247, is "the Devonshire Ditty," from which
+the following is an extract:&mdash;</p>
+
+<p>
+<span style="margin-left: 1em;">"Cockbodikins, chil work no more,</span><br />
+<span style="margin-left: 1em;">Dost think chi labour to be poor?</span><br />
+<span style="margin-left: 1em;">No, no, ich chave a do&mdash;" &amp;c.</span><br />
+</p>
+
+<p>But this phraseology is not peculiar to Devonshire.</p>
+
+
+<p>P. <a href='#Page_ii113'>113</a>, note 2.&mdash;Some additional particulars of interest, relative to
+ancient wines, may be found in <i>Morte Arthure</i>, ed. 1847, pp. 18, 20;
+and in the <i>Squyer of Low Degre</i> (Ritson's <i>Ancient Engl. Met.
+Renancees</i>, iii).</p>
+
+
+<p>P. <a href='#Page_ii121'>121</a>. <i>Of the Courtear that ete the hot costerde.</i></p>
+
+<p>"An arch Boy being at Table where there was a piping hot Applepye,
+putting a Bit into his Mouth, burnt it so that the Tears ran down his
+Cheeks. A Gentleman that sate by, ask'd him, Why he wept? Only<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_162" id="Page_162">[Pg 162]</a></span> said he,
+because it is just come into my Remembrance that my poor Grandmother
+died this Day Twelvemonth. Phoo! says the other, is that all? So
+whipping a large Piece into his Mouth, he quickly sympathized with the
+Boy; who seeing his Eyes brim-full, with a malicious Sneer Ask'd him,
+Why he wept? A Pox on you, said he, because you were not hanged, you
+young Dog, the same Day your Grandmother died."&mdash;<i>Complete London
+Jester</i>, ed. 1771, p. 53.</p>
+
+
+<p>P. <a href='#Page_ii140'>140</a>.&mdash;<i>Of the Canon and his man. Note.</i></p>
+
+<p>"When King James came into England, coming to Boughton, hee was feasted
+by Sir Edward Montague, and his six sonnes brought upp the six first
+dishes; three of them after were lords, and three more knights, Sir
+Walter Montague, Sir Sydney, and Sir Charles, whose daughter Lady Hatton
+is."&mdash;<i>Ward's Diary</i>, ed. Severn, p. 170-1.</p>
+
+
+<p>P. <a href='#Page_143'>143</a>. <i>For at this foul araye.</i>&mdash;So, in the <i>Child of Bristow</i>, an
+early metrical legend, we read:&mdash;</p>
+
+<p>
+<span style="margin-left: 1em;">"When the burges the child gan se,</span><br />
+<span style="margin-left: 1em;">He seid then, benedicite,</span><br />
+<span style="margin-left: 1em;">Sone, what <i>araye</i> is this?"</span><br />
+</p>
+
+<p>Some later writers thought it necessary to use this word with a
+qualifying adjective, as <i>shrewd array</i>, &amp;c. thus, in fact, reducing it
+to something like its ordinary and modern signification.</p>
+
+
+<p>P. <a href='#Page_148'>148</a>, <i>note</i>. 1. See Pepys' <i>Diary</i>, 6th ed. I. 29. "They brought me a
+draft of their drink in a brown bowl, tipt with silver, which I drank
+off, and at the bottom was a picture of the Virgin with the child in her
+arms, done in silver."&mdash;27th Feb. 1659-60. See also Brydges' <i>British
+Bibliographer</i>, vol. ii. p. 109.</p>
+
+
+<p class="center">THE END.</p>
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+
+<div class="footnotes"><h3>FOOTNOTES:</h3>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_1_1" id="Footnote_1_1"></a><a href="#FNanchor_1_1"><span class="label">[1]</span></a> Walley obtained his licence or the <i>C. Mery Talys</i> in
+1557-8, during the reign of Mary, perhaps in anticipation of a change in
+the government, and in order to forestall other stationers. If Walley
+printed the Tales, it is most likely that he waited, till Elizabeth came
+to the throne.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_2_2" id="Footnote_2_2"></a><a href="#FNanchor_2_2"><span class="label">[2]</span></a> Collier's Extracts from the Reg. Stat. Co. ii. 25.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_3_3" id="Footnote_3_3"></a><a href="#FNanchor_3_3"><span class="label">[3]</span></a> An abridgment of this ballad was published in Ritson's
+<i>Ancient Songs and Ballads</i>, 1829, ii. 31. But see the <i>Townley
+Catalogue</i>, No. 358.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_4_4" id="Footnote_4_4"></a><a href="#FNanchor_4_4"><span class="label">[4]</span></a> The elder Disraeli has a chapter on this subject in his
+<i>Amenities of Literature</i>.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_5_5" id="Footnote_5_5"></a><a href="#FNanchor_5_5"><span class="label">[5]</span></a> For some of these notices I am indebted to Mr. Singer;
+others I have added myself from the various sources.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_6_6" id="Footnote_6_6"></a><a href="#FNanchor_6_6"><span class="label">[6]</span></a> In Act v. Sc. iii of Fletcher's <i>Nice Valour</i> (Dyce's B. &amp;
+F. x. 361) there is mention of the <i>Hundred Novels</i>, alluding, not
+to the <i>C. Mery Talys</i>, but to the <i>Decameron</i> of Boccaccio, of which an
+English translation appeared in 1620-5.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_7_7" id="Footnote_7_7"></a><a href="#FNanchor_7_7"><span class="label">[7]</span></a> <i>i.e.</i> do out. It is, perhaps, scarcely necessary to
+mention that in French, the term <i>commander</i> has a double signification,
+<i>to command</i> and <i>to commend</i>. In our language, the two words are of
+course distinct; hence the jest.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_8_8" id="Footnote_8_8"></a><a href="#FNanchor_8_8"><span class="label">[8]</span></a> Cudgel.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_9_9" id="Footnote_9_9"></a><a href="#FNanchor_9_9"><span class="label">[9]</span></a> This story is merely the latter portion of the seventh
+novel of the Seventh Day of the Decameron; but Boccaccio tells it
+somewhat differently. It may also he found in the <i>Pecorone</i> of Ser.
+Giovanni Fiorentino, and in <i>A Sackful of Newes</i>. 1673 (a reprint of a
+much older edition). In the latter there are one or two trifling
+particulars not found here.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_10_10" id="Footnote_10_10"></a><a href="#FNanchor_10_10"><span class="label">[10]</span></a> A rabbit-warren.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_11_11" id="Footnote_11_11"></a><a href="#FNanchor_11_11"><span class="label">[11]</span></a> Net, Fr. <i>haie</i>.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_12_12" id="Footnote_12_12"></a><a href="#FNanchor_12_12"><span class="label">[12]</span></a> In orig. <i>and because</i>.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_13_13" id="Footnote_13_13"></a><a href="#FNanchor_13_13"><span class="label">[13]</span></a> <i>i.e.</i> ere, before.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_14_14" id="Footnote_14_14"></a><a href="#FNanchor_14_14"><span class="label">[14]</span></a> Owned. In <i>Northward Hoe</i>, 1607, by Decker and Webster,
+act i. scene i., the writers have made use of this story. See Websters'
+Works, edit. Hazlitt, i. 178-9.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_15_15" id="Footnote_15_15"></a><a href="#FNanchor_15_15"><span class="label">[15]</span></a> either.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_16_16" id="Footnote_16_16"></a><a href="#FNanchor_16_16"><span class="label">[16]</span></a> moving.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_17_17" id="Footnote_17_17"></a><a href="#FNanchor_17_17"><span class="label">[17]</span></a> See Brand's <i>Popular Antiquities</i>, edit. 1849, iii. 387.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_18_18" id="Footnote_18_18"></a><a href="#FNanchor_18_18"><span class="label">[18]</span></a> The reverse of the Somersetshire saying. The proverb is
+well known: "An honest miller hath a golden thumb;" but to this the
+Somersetshire folks add, "none but a cuckold can see it."</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_19_19" id="Footnote_19_19"></a><a href="#FNanchor_19_19"><span class="label">[19]</span></a> Burned.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_20_20" id="Footnote_20_20"></a><a href="#FNanchor_20_20"><span class="label">[20]</span></a> orig. reads <i>muste</i>.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_21_21" id="Footnote_21_21"></a><a href="#FNanchor_21_21"><span class="label">[21]</span></a> Richard Rawson was Archdeacon of Essex from 1503 to 1543,
+and was perhaps the person here intended. See Le Neve's <i>Fasti</i>, ed.
+Hardy, ii. 336.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_22_22" id="Footnote_22_22"></a><a href="#FNanchor_22_22"><span class="label">[22]</span></a> if.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_23_23" id="Footnote_23_23"></a><a href="#FNanchor_23_23"><span class="label">[23]</span></a> before.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_24_24" id="Footnote_24_24"></a><a href="#FNanchor_24_24"><span class="label">[24]</span></a> appertaining or relevant.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_25_25" id="Footnote_25_25"></a><a href="#FNanchor_25_25"><span class="label">[25]</span></a> World.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_26_26" id="Footnote_26_26"></a><a href="#FNanchor_26_26"><span class="label">[26]</span></a> Orig. reads <i>and</i>: <i>but</i> seems to be required.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_27_27" id="Footnote_27_27"></a><a href="#FNanchor_27_27"><span class="label">[27]</span></a> Orig. reads <i>whether</i>.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_28_28" id="Footnote_28_28"></a><a href="#FNanchor_28_28"><span class="label">[28]</span></a> Places or appointments. This is one of the best stories of
+the kind in the present or any other collection, in our own or other
+languages. The construction is excellent.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_29_29" id="Footnote_29_29"></a><a href="#FNanchor_29_29"><span class="label">[29]</span></a> Weened (guessed).</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_30_30" id="Footnote_30_30"></a><a href="#FNanchor_30_30"><span class="label">[30]</span></a> Orig. reads <i>saw</i>.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_31_31" id="Footnote_31_31"></a><a href="#FNanchor_31_31"><span class="label">[31]</span></a> weened.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_32_32" id="Footnote_32_32"></a><a href="#FNanchor_32_32"><span class="label">[32]</span></a> shells.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_33_33" id="Footnote_33_33"></a><a href="#FNanchor_33_33"><span class="label">[33]</span></a> In orig. <i>by</i>.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_34_34" id="Footnote_34_34"></a><a href="#FNanchor_34_34"><span class="label">[34]</span></a> Orig. reads <i>saw</i>.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_35_35" id="Footnote_35_35"></a><a href="#FNanchor_35_35"><span class="label">[35]</span></a> Orig. reads <i>of</i>.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_36_36" id="Footnote_36_36"></a><a href="#FNanchor_36_36"><span class="label">[36]</span></a> The orig. <i>saw</i>.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_37_37" id="Footnote_37_37"></a><a href="#FNanchor_37_37"><span class="label">[37]</span></a> Orig. <i>hard</i>, i.e. <i>heard</i>.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_38_38" id="Footnote_38_38"></a><a href="#FNanchor_38_38"><span class="label">[38]</span></a> There is perhaps an allusion here to the <i>Interlude of the
+Four Elements</i>, supposed to have been printed about 1510 by John
+Rastell.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_39_39" id="Footnote_39_39"></a><a href="#FNanchor_39_39"><span class="label">[39]</span></a> Orig. reads <i>properte is</i>.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_40_40" id="Footnote_40_40"></a><a href="#FNanchor_40_40"><span class="label">[40]</span></a> <i>Vide infra.</i></p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_41_41" id="Footnote_41_41"></a><a href="#FNanchor_41_41"><span class="label">[41]</span></a> economy.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_42_42" id="Footnote_42_42"></a><a href="#FNanchor_42_42"><span class="label">[42]</span></a> defiled, from Fr. <i>rayer</i>, to shine and give light, as the
+rays of the sun, and thence to streak with lines of dirt, and so to
+soil. The word is not common. See Nares art <i>ray</i> (edit. 1859), and
+Cotgrave art <i>rayer</i> (edit. 1650).</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_43_43" id="Footnote_43_43"></a><a href="#FNanchor_43_43"><span class="label">[43]</span></a> Orig. reads <i>turnyd</i>.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_44_44" id="Footnote_44_44"></a><a href="#FNanchor_44_44"><span class="label">[44]</span></a> Orig. reads <i>saw</i>.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_45_45" id="Footnote_45_45"></a><a href="#FNanchor_45_45"><span class="label">[45]</span></a> smock.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_46_46" id="Footnote_46_46"></a><a href="#FNanchor_46_46"><span class="label">[46]</span></a> <i>i.e.</i> who saw her.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_47_47" id="Footnote_47_47"></a><a href="#FNanchor_47_47"><span class="label">[47]</span></a> An unregistered proverb, perhaps. The meaning is tolerably
+clear. See <i>Tarlton's Newes Out of Purgatarie</i> (1590). edit. Halliwell,
+p. 93.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_48_48" id="Footnote_48_48"></a><a href="#FNanchor_48_48"><span class="label">[48]</span></a> Whither.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_49_49" id="Footnote_49_49"></a><a href="#FNanchor_49_49"><span class="label">[49]</span></a> I am myself responsible for these few words in italic,
+which I have supplied from conjecture.</p></div>
+
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_50_50" id="Footnote_50_50"></a><a href="#FNanchor_50_50"><span class="label">[50]</span></a> Perhaps this story, of which we have here a fragment only,
+was similar to the one narrated a little farther on. See Tale 57.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_51_51" id="Footnote_51_51"></a><a href="#FNanchor_51_51"><span class="label">[51]</span></a> Thavies Inn, near St. Andrew's Church, in Holborn.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_52_52" id="Footnote_52_52"></a><a href="#FNanchor_52_52"><span class="label">[52]</span></a> wooed.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_53_53" id="Footnote_53_53"></a><a href="#FNanchor_53_53"><span class="label">[53]</span></a> Orig. reads <i>that the colyar</i>.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_54_54" id="Footnote_54_54"></a><a href="#FNanchor_54_54"><span class="label">[54]</span></a> before.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_55_55" id="Footnote_55_55"></a><a href="#FNanchor_55_55"><span class="label">[55]</span></a> the seat of the commode.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_56_56" id="Footnote_56_56"></a><a href="#FNanchor_56_56"><span class="label">[56]</span></a> weened.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_57_57" id="Footnote_57_57"></a><a href="#FNanchor_57_57"><span class="label">[57]</span></a> Orig. reads <i>gentylman</i>.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_58_58" id="Footnote_58_58"></a><a href="#FNanchor_58_58"><span class="label">[58]</span></a> mocked, made a jest of. See Nares (edit. 1859) <i>in voce</i>.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_59_59" id="Footnote_59_59"></a><a href="#FNanchor_59_59"><span class="label">[59]</span></a> This moral is also attached to Tales 21, 44, and 56, in
+all which cases the lady's rejoinder is not less opposed to modern
+notions of female delicacy.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_60_60" id="Footnote_60_60"></a><a href="#FNanchor_60_60"><span class="label">[60]</span></a> orig. reads <i>gentylman</i>.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_61_61" id="Footnote_61_61"></a><a href="#FNanchor_61_61"><span class="label">[61]</span></a> purlieus.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_62_62" id="Footnote_62_62"></a><a href="#FNanchor_62_62"><span class="label">[62]</span></a> a lean beast not worth hunting&mdash;<i>Nares.</i></p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_63_63" id="Footnote_63_63"></a><a href="#FNanchor_63_63"><span class="label">[63]</span></a> The jest here, such as it is, lies in the play on the
+words male (of the deer) and the mail, or post.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_64_64" id="Footnote_64_64"></a><a href="#FNanchor_64_64"><span class="label">[64]</span></a> niggard.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_65_65" id="Footnote_65_65"></a><a href="#FNanchor_65_65"><span class="label">[65]</span></a> a week.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_66_66" id="Footnote_66_66"></a><a href="#FNanchor_66_66"><span class="label">[66]</span></a> nonce.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_67_67" id="Footnote_67_67"></a><a href="#FNanchor_67_67"><span class="label">[67]</span></a> Mendicant friar.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_68_68" id="Footnote_68_68"></a><a href="#FNanchor_68_68"><span class="label">[68]</span></a> Merrily.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_69_69" id="Footnote_69_69"></a><a href="#FNanchor_69_69"><span class="label">[69]</span></a> orig. reads <i>send</i>.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_70_70" id="Footnote_70_70"></a><a href="#FNanchor_70_70"><span class="label">[70]</span></a> orig. reads Thomas coke. In the orig. the text runs on in
+the above passage, which is generally done in old books to save room.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_71_71" id="Footnote_71_71"></a><a href="#FNanchor_71_71"><span class="label">[71]</span></a> tricks and pranks.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_72_72" id="Footnote_72_72"></a><a href="#FNanchor_72_72"><span class="label">[72]</span></a> orig. reads <i>synne</i>.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_73_73" id="Footnote_73_73"></a><a href="#FNanchor_73_73"><span class="label">[73]</span></a> orig. reads <i>he</i>.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_74_74" id="Footnote_74_74"></a><a href="#FNanchor_74_74"><span class="label">[74]</span></a> Intently engaged in the celebration of mass. "St. Lawrence
+Jewry," says Mr. Cunningham (<i>Handbook of Lond.</i> 471,) "stood in King
+Street, Cheapside. It was destroyed in the Fire of 1666, and was rebuilt
+by Sir C. Wren."</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_75_75" id="Footnote_75_75"></a><a href="#FNanchor_75_75"><span class="label">[75]</span></a> Hooping-cough.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_76_76" id="Footnote_76_76"></a><a href="#FNanchor_76_76"><span class="label">[76]</span></a> orig. reads <i>ever</i>.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_77_77" id="Footnote_77_77"></a><a href="#FNanchor_77_77"><span class="label">[77]</span></a> The celebrated poet. The bishop was of course Bishop
+Nykke, Nikke, or Nyx, as the name is variously spelled. He held the see
+from 1501 to 1536.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_78_78" id="Footnote_78_78"></a><a href="#FNanchor_78_78"><span class="label">[78]</span></a> <i>Lute</i>, as a verb, appears to be obsolete. We still say
+<i>to fiddle</i>, and no doubt <i>to lute</i> was formerly just as much in use.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_79_79" id="Footnote_79_79"></a><a href="#FNanchor_79_79"><span class="label">[79]</span></a> Orig. reads <i>and that commanded</i>.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_80_80" id="Footnote_80_80"></a><a href="#FNanchor_80_80"><span class="label">[80]</span></a> Quietly.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_81_81" id="Footnote_81_81"></a><a href="#FNanchor_81_81"><span class="label">[81]</span></a> This, to save space, is printed like prose in the orig.;
+but it was evidently meant to be verse.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_82_82" id="Footnote_82_82"></a><a href="#FNanchor_82_82"><span class="label">[82]</span></a> <i>i. e.</i> him. The Orig. reads <i>them</i>.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_83_83" id="Footnote_83_83"></a><a href="#FNanchor_83_83"><span class="label">[83]</span></a> Swoon.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_84_84" id="Footnote_84_84"></a><a href="#FNanchor_84_84"><span class="label">[84]</span></a> Orig. reads <i>besought him of</i>.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_85_85" id="Footnote_85_85"></a><a href="#FNanchor_85_85"><span class="label">[85]</span></a> Orig, reads <i>Nocolas</i>. The Church of St. Nicholas
+Shambles, which formerly stood in the neigbourhood of Newgate Market,
+was pulled down at the Reformation. See Cunningham, <i>Handbook of
+London</i>, in voce.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_86_86" id="Footnote_86_86"></a><a href="#FNanchor_86_86"><span class="label">[86]</span></a> Orig. reads <i>and</i>.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_87_87" id="Footnote_87_87"></a><a href="#FNanchor_87_87"><span class="label">[87]</span></a> Quickly.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_88_88" id="Footnote_88_88"></a><a href="#FNanchor_88_88"><span class="label">[88]</span></a> Orig. reads <i>lyghtlye espye</i>.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_89_89" id="Footnote_89_89"></a><a href="#FNanchor_89_89"><span class="label">[89]</span></a> Singer's ed. reads <i>yeve</i>.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_90_90" id="Footnote_90_90"></a><a href="#FNanchor_90_90"><span class="label">[90]</span></a> Orig. ed. and Singer read <i>we haue and helpe them</i>.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_91_91" id="Footnote_91_91"></a><a href="#FNanchor_91_91"><span class="label">[91]</span></a> This portion of the tale is repeated in <i>Scoggin's or
+Scogin's Jests</i>.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_92_92" id="Footnote_92_92"></a><a href="#FNanchor_92_92"><span class="label">[92]</span></a> I have supplied these four words from conjecture. They are
+not in the original nor in Singer's reprint.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_93_93" id="Footnote_93_93"></a><a href="#FNanchor_93_93"><span class="label">[93]</span></a> The double negative is very common in old English books.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_94_94" id="Footnote_94_94"></a><a href="#FNanchor_94_94"><span class="label">[94]</span></a> Orig. reads <i>wold</i>.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_95_95" id="Footnote_95_95"></a><a href="#FNanchor_95_95"><span class="label">[95]</span></a> Essence?</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_96_96" id="Footnote_96_96"></a><a href="#FNanchor_96_96"><span class="label">[96]</span></a> Fetched.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_97_97" id="Footnote_97_97"></a><a href="#FNanchor_97_97"><span class="label">[97]</span></a> Orig. reads <i>whych perchyd</i>, which the context will
+scarcely allow.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_98_98" id="Footnote_98_98"></a><a href="#FNanchor_98_98"><span class="label">[98]</span></a> Unlawful.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_99_99" id="Footnote_99_99"></a><a href="#FNanchor_99_99"><span class="label">[99]</span></a> The words in italics are supplied by me from conjecture.
+They are not in orig. or in Singer's reprint; but it is evident what the
+context requires.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_100_100" id="Footnote_100_100"></a><a href="#FNanchor_100_100"><span class="label">[100]</span></a> Covetousness. Orig. reads <i>covetous</i>.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_101_101" id="Footnote_101_101"></a><a href="#FNanchor_101_101"><span class="label">[101]</span></a> Whitford, in his <i>Werke for Householders</i>, 1533,
+says:&mdash;"yet must you have a lesson to teche your folkes to beware of the
+vii pryncipall synnes, whiche ben communely called the seven dedely
+synnes, but in dede they doue call them wronge: for they be not alway
+dedely synnes. Therfore they sholde be called capytall or pryncipall
+synnes, and not dedely synnes. These ben theyr names by ordere after our
+dyvysion: Pryde, Envy, Wrath, Covetyse, Glotony, Slouth, and Lechery."</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_102_102" id="Footnote_102_102"></a><a href="#FNanchor_102_102"><span class="label">[102]</span></a> i.e. By God's blood and His nail.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_103_103" id="Footnote_103_103"></a><a href="#FNanchor_103_103"><span class="label">[103]</span></a> Fetch.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_104_104" id="Footnote_104_104"></a><a href="#FNanchor_104_104"><span class="label">[104]</span></a> These words in Italics I have supplied from conjecture.
+They are not in orig. or in Singer.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_105_105" id="Footnote_105_105"></a><a href="#FNanchor_105_105"><span class="label">[105]</span></a> orig. reads: <i>ex duobus malis minus malis</i>.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_106_106" id="Footnote_106_106"></a><a href="#FNanchor_106_106"><span class="label">[106]</span></a> By God's body.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_107_107" id="Footnote_107_107"></a><a href="#FNanchor_107_107"><span class="label">[107]</span></a> If meant as quiet irony, this moral is admirable.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_108_108" id="Footnote_108_108"></a><a href="#FNanchor_108_108"><span class="label">[108]</span></a> disparage.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_109_109" id="Footnote_109_109"></a><a href="#FNanchor_109_109"><span class="label">[109]</span></a> orig. is here apparently very corrupt; it reads: "all
+thoughe the meat therein were nat ynoughe, sodenlye commaunded," &amp;c.</p></div>
+
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_110_110" id="Footnote_110_110"></a><a href="#FNanchor_110_110"><span class="label">[110]</span></a> planted it against the roost.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_111_111" id="Footnote_111_111"></a><a href="#FNanchor_111_111"><span class="label">[111]</span></a> orig. reads <i>I am here John Dawe</i>.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_112_112" id="Footnote_112_112"></a><a href="#FNanchor_112_112"><span class="label">[112]</span></a> orig. reads <i>vocacyon</i>.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_113_113" id="Footnote_113_113"></a><a href="#FNanchor_113_113"><span class="label">[113]</span></a> The same story is to be found in <i>Scogin's Jests</i>, with a
+trifling variation. <i>Scogin's Jests</i> were published before 1565. Several
+of the anecdotes, here narrated, were re-produced in that and other
+collections. See also <i>Joake upon Joake</i>, 1721, where the present story
+is told of King Charles the Second, Nell Gwynne, and the Duchess of
+Portsmouth. In this version the Duchess is the sufferer.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_114_114" id="Footnote_114_114"></a><a href="#FNanchor_114_114"><span class="label">[114]</span></a> This story, as already mentioned in the Introduction, is
+taken from the tale of the "Vickar of Bergamo" in <i>Tarlton's Newes out
+of Purgatorie</i> (1590). See Halliwell's ed. of <i>Tarlton's Jests, &amp;c.</i> p.
+82. (Shakesp. Sec.).</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_115_115" id="Footnote_115_115"></a><a href="#FNanchor_115_115"><span class="label">[115]</span></a> Early.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_116_116" id="Footnote_116_116"></a><a href="#FNanchor_116_116"><span class="label">[116]</span></a> Homily.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_117_117" id="Footnote_117_117"></a><a href="#FNanchor_117_117"><span class="label">[117]</span></a> Satisfy, a very rare word.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_118_118" id="Footnote_118_118"></a><a href="#FNanchor_118_118"><span class="label">[118]</span></a> Ham.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_119_119" id="Footnote_119_119"></a><a href="#FNanchor_119_119"><span class="label">[119]</span></a> The blackness of colliers was employed of course from a
+very early period as a ground for satirical insinuations as to their
+connection with the Evil One. In 1568, Ulpian Fulwell, a distinguished
+writer of the Elizabethan era, published <i>A Pleasant Interlude intituled
+Like will to Like quoth the Devil to the Collier</i>; and in the old play
+of <i>Grim the Collier of Croydon</i>, the epithet grim was intended to
+convey a similar idea. In <i>Robin Goodfellow His Mad Pranks and Merry
+Jests</i>, 1628, however, Grim is the name of a Fairy.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_120_120" id="Footnote_120_120"></a><a href="#FNanchor_120_120"><span class="label">[120]</span></a> Shoemaker or Cobbler. Lat. <i>Sutor</i>.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_121_121" id="Footnote_121_121"></a><a href="#FNanchor_121_121"><span class="label">[121]</span></a> It is not very usual to find this word in its jocular
+sense spelled in this manner. It continued to be used in its original
+signification (<i>action</i> or <i>exploit</i>) even to the Restoration, perhaps
+later. The most recent example of this employment with which the Editor
+has happened to meet is at p. 29 of Mauley's <i>Iter Carolinum</i>, 1660,
+where the writer speaks of "His Majesties Gests from Newcastle to
+Holdenby in Feb. 1646." These <i>gests</i> were certainly no <i>jests</i>. Since
+the former part of this note was written a more recent instance of the
+use of <i>gest</i> in the sense in question has occurred to the Editor in the
+<i>Life and Gests of S. Thomas Cantilupe, Gant</i>, 1674. 8vo.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_122_122" id="Footnote_122_122"></a><a href="#FNanchor_122_122"><span class="label">[122]</span></a> The words in Italics are supplied from conjecture. They
+are not in orig. or in Singer.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_123_123" id="Footnote_123_123"></a><a href="#FNanchor_123_123"><span class="label">[123]</span></a> Sacrament.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_124_124" id="Footnote_124_124"></a><a href="#FNanchor_124_124"><span class="label">[124]</span></a> Prepared, <i>i.e.</i> had made themselves ready.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_125_125" id="Footnote_125_125"></a><a href="#FNanchor_125_125"><span class="label">[125]</span></a> Orig. reads <i>spyed</i>.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_126_126" id="Footnote_126_126"></a><a href="#FNanchor_126_126"><span class="label">[126]</span></a> Orig. reads <i>which came</i>.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_127_127" id="Footnote_127_127"></a><a href="#FNanchor_127_127"><span class="label">[127]</span></a> Singer's conjectural reading is <i>that</i>; but <i>and</i> seems
+to me to be the word required.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_128_128" id="Footnote_128_128"></a><a href="#FNanchor_128_128"><span class="label">[128]</span></a> See <i>Scoggin's Jests</i>(reprint 1795), p. 47.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_129_129" id="Footnote_129_129"></a><a href="#FNanchor_129_129"><span class="label">[129]</span></a> Count out.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_130_130" id="Footnote_130_130"></a><a href="#FNanchor_130_130"><span class="label">[130]</span></a> These two words are not in orig. or in Singer; but they
+seem to be what the context requires.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_131_131" id="Footnote_131_131"></a><a href="#FNanchor_131_131"><span class="label">[131]</span></a> Orig. reads <i>Comode</i>.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_132_132" id="Footnote_132_132"></a><a href="#FNanchor_132_132"><span class="label">[132]</span></a> Weened.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_133_133" id="Footnote_133_133"></a><a href="#FNanchor_133_133"><span class="label">[133]</span></a> Orig. reads <i>and</i> after <i>woman</i>.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_134_134" id="Footnote_134_134"></a><a href="#FNanchor_134_134"><span class="label">[134]</span></a> The celebrated Sir Richard Whittington. In his <i>If you
+know Not me you know No Body</i>, Part ii. 1606, Heywood introduces the
+following dialogue respecting Whittington between Dean Nowell and Old
+Hobson, the haberdasher of the Poultry:&mdash;
+<br /><br />
+<span style="margin-left: 1em;">"<i>Dr. Now.</i> This Sir Richard Whittington, three times Mayor,</span><br />
+<span style="margin-left: 1em;">Son to a knight, and 'prentice to a mercer,</span><br />
+<span style="margin-left: 1em;">Began the library of Gray-friars in London,</span><br />
+<span style="margin-left: 1em;">And his executors after him did build</span><br />
+<span style="margin-left: 1em;">Whittington College, thirteen almshouses for poor men,</span><br />
+<span style="margin-left: 1em;">Repair'd Saint Bartholomew's, in Smithfield,</span><br />
+<span style="margin-left: 1em;">Glared the Guildhall, and built Newgate.</span><br />
+<br />
+<span style="margin-left: 1em;"><i>Hob.</i> Bones a me, then, I have heard lies;</span><br />
+<span style="margin-left: 1em;">For I have heard he was a scullion,</span><br />
+<span style="margin-left: 1em;">And rais'd himself by venture of a cat.</span><br />
+<br />
+<span style="margin-left: 1em;"><i>Dr. Now.</i> They did the more wrong to the gentleman."</span><br />
+</p>
+</div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_135_135" id="Footnote_135_135"></a><a href="#FNanchor_135_135"><span class="label">[135]</span></a> Psalter.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_136_136" id="Footnote_136_136"></a><a href="#FNanchor_136_136"><span class="label">[136]</span></a> Wanting in orig. and left blank by Singer. I have
+supplied them from conjecture.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_137_137" id="Footnote_137_137"></a><a href="#FNanchor_137_137"><span class="label">[137]</span></a> Priests.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_138_138" id="Footnote_138_138"></a><a href="#FNanchor_138_138"><span class="label">[138]</span></a> Orig. reads <i>gentylmens</i>.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_139_139" id="Footnote_139_139"></a><a href="#FNanchor_139_139"><span class="label">[139]</span></a> Peril.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_140_140" id="Footnote_140_140"></a><a href="#FNanchor_140_140"><span class="label">[140]</span></a> Orig. reads <i>thou sluggynge in thy bedde dost thou no
+good</i>, which repetition of <i>thou</i> seems unnecessary.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_141_141" id="Footnote_141_141"></a><a href="#FNanchor_141_141"><span class="label">[141]</span></a> Not here put as a painting, but in a general sense, as a
+representation.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_142_142" id="Footnote_142_142"></a><a href="#FNanchor_142_142"><span class="label">[142]</span></a> The old perfect of <i>start</i>. The orig. reads <i>starte</i>.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_143_143" id="Footnote_143_143"></a><a href="#FNanchor_143_143"><span class="label">[143]</span></a> Singer inserts <i>answered</i> before <i>and said</i>; but the word
+does not appear to be required.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_144_144" id="Footnote_144_144"></a><a href="#FNanchor_144_144"><span class="label">[144]</span></a> Orig. reads <i>the iii point is that never mis that, &amp;c.</i></p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_145_145" id="Footnote_145_145"></a><a href="#FNanchor_145_145"><span class="label">[145]</span></a> A very costly article of female dress during the reigns
+of the Tudor and Stuart sovereigns. It constituted part of the
+head-gear, and from the way in which it was worn by some women, was
+calculated to convey a notion of skittishness. In the <i>New Courtly Sonet
+of the Lady Greensleeves</i>, printed in Robinson's "Handful of Pleasant
+Delites," 1584, the lover is made to say to his mistress:&mdash;
+</p><p>
+<span style="margin-left: 1em;">"I bought three kerchers to thy head,</span><br />
+<span style="margin-left: 1em;">That were wrought fine and gallantly:</span><br />
+<span style="margin-left: 1em;">I kept thee both at board and bed,</span><br />
+<span style="margin-left: 1em;">Which cost my purse well-favourdly."</span><br />
+</p>
+</div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_146_146" id="Footnote_146_146"></a><a href="#FNanchor_146_146"><span class="label">[146]</span></a> Just now.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_147_147" id="Footnote_147_147"></a><a href="#FNanchor_147_147"><span class="label">[147]</span></a> The Genoese.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_148_148" id="Footnote_148_148"></a><a href="#FNanchor_148_148"><span class="label">[148]</span></a> At all points.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_149_149" id="Footnote_149_149"></a><a href="#FNanchor_149_149"><span class="label">[149]</span></a> Make a mistake.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_150_150" id="Footnote_150_150"></a><a href="#FNanchor_150_150"><span class="label">[150]</span></a> Which of the two.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_151_151" id="Footnote_151_151"></a><a href="#FNanchor_151_151"><span class="label">[151]</span></a> A too literal translation of the French word
+<i>legierement</i>, which ought here to have been rendered <i>readily</i>, rather
+than <i>lightly</i>.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_152_152" id="Footnote_152_152"></a><a href="#FNanchor_152_152"><span class="label">[152]</span></a> Giddy.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_153_153" id="Footnote_153_153"></a><a href="#FNanchor_153_153"><span class="label">[153]</span></a> No matter.</p></div>
+
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_154_154" id="Footnote_154_154"></a><a href="#FNanchor_154_154"><span class="label">[154]</span></a> Whispered&mdash;<i>Singer</i>.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_155_155" id="Footnote_155_155"></a><a href="#FNanchor_155_155"><span class="label">[155]</span></a> Kissed, from the French word.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_156_156" id="Footnote_156_156"></a><a href="#FNanchor_156_156"><span class="label">[156]</span></a> <i>i.e.</i> twit or taunt.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_157_157" id="Footnote_157_157"></a><a href="#FNanchor_157_157"><span class="label">[157]</span></a> <i>Parvus et Magnus Catho</i>, printed by Caxton, n.d. 4to.
+Chaucer, in his <i>Miller's Tale</i> (<i>Chaucer's Works</i>, ed. Bell, i. 194),
+describes the old carpenter of Oxford, who had married a young girl, as
+having neglected to study [<i>Magnus</i>] <i>Catho</i>, which prescribed that
+marriages ought to take place between persons of about the same age.
+</p><p>
+<span style="margin-left: 1em;">"He knew not Catoun, for his wyt was rude,</span><br />
+<span style="margin-left: 1em;">That bad man schulde wedde his similitude."</span><br />
+</p>
+<p>
+No doubt both <i>Cato</i> and <i>Parvus Cato</i> circulated in MS. before the
+invention of printing. The former was printed by Caxton in 1483-4. See
+Blades (<i>Life and Typography of William Caxton</i>, ii. 53-4).</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_158_158" id="Footnote_158_158"></a><a href="#FNanchor_158_158"><span class="label">[158]</span></a> Parishioners. This jest is included by Johnson in his
+<i>Pleasant Conceits of Old Hobson, the Merry Londoner</i>, 1607 (reprinted
+1843. p. 17).</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_159_159" id="Footnote_159_159"></a><a href="#FNanchor_159_159"><span class="label">[159]</span></a> Sell away.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_160_160" id="Footnote_160_160"></a><a href="#FNanchor_160_160"><span class="label">[160]</span></a> John ap Jenkin.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_161_161" id="Footnote_161_161"></a><a href="#FNanchor_161_161"><span class="label">[161]</span></a> The original has <i>who so ever that</i>.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_162_162" id="Footnote_162_162"></a><a href="#FNanchor_162_162"><span class="label">[162]</span></a> Baillie or magistrate, from the old French word
+<i>bailli</i>.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_163_163" id="Footnote_163_163"></a><a href="#FNanchor_163_163"><span class="label">[163]</span></a> This form of <i>it</i>, though it does not occur in the <i>C.
+Mery Tales</i>, is very common in old English works; see the <i>Seven Sages</i>,
+edited by Wright, 1845, for the Percy Society, and the <i>Anglo-Saxon
+Passion of St. George</i>, 1850 (Percy Soc.).</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_164_164" id="Footnote_164_164"></a><a href="#FNanchor_164_164"><span class="label">[164]</span></a> The original has <i>whan she turned her to have taken
+money</i>.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_165_165" id="Footnote_165_165"></a><a href="#FNanchor_165_165"><span class="label">[165]</span></a> Cheating.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_166_166" id="Footnote_166_166"></a><a href="#FNanchor_166_166"><span class="label">[166]</span></a> The word seems to be here used in a rare sense. The
+meaning is <i>bulging</i>.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_167_167" id="Footnote_167_167"></a><a href="#FNanchor_167_167"><span class="label">[167]</span></a> This word (Latin&egrave; <i>pallium</i>) was originally used in a
+special and exclusive signification.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_168_168" id="Footnote_168_168"></a><a href="#FNanchor_168_168"><span class="label">[168]</span></a> Singer explains this to mean <i>gazeth</i>.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_169_169" id="Footnote_169_169"></a><a href="#FNanchor_169_169"><span class="label">[169]</span></a> Found fault with it.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_170_170" id="Footnote_170_170"></a><a href="#FNanchor_170_170"><span class="label">[170]</span></a> There is probably some corruption here. We ought perhaps
+to read: "and toke <i>to</i> his legges <i>as if</i> to go."</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_171_171" id="Footnote_171_171"></a><a href="#FNanchor_171_171"><span class="label">[171]</span></a> Weened.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_172_172" id="Footnote_172_172"></a><a href="#FNanchor_172_172"><span class="label">[172]</span></a> <i>Noctes Attic&aelig;</i>, translated by Belue, vol. i. p. 86. The
+<i>Historie of Papyrius Pr&aelig;textatus</i> is related in the 18th Novel of the
+1st Tome of Painter's <i>Palace of Pleasure</i>.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_173_173" id="Footnote_173_173"></a><a href="#FNanchor_173_173"><span class="label">[173]</span></a> Deceit, or what would now be called a <i>white lie.</i></p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_174_174" id="Footnote_174_174"></a><a href="#FNanchor_174_174"><span class="label">[174]</span></a> <i>i.e.</i> which of the two.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_175_175" id="Footnote_175_175"></a><a href="#FNanchor_175_175"><span class="label">[175]</span></a> Go easily.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_176_176" id="Footnote_176_176"></a><a href="#FNanchor_176_176"><span class="label">[176]</span></a> This old phrase is still in colloquial use. "A good sight
+better," or a "great sight more," are well understood terms among us,
+though vulgar.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_177_177" id="Footnote_177_177"></a><a href="#FNanchor_177_177"><span class="label">[177]</span></a> A rare word as a verb, though the adjective <i>peakish</i> is
+common enough in old English writers. By <i>peaked</i> we must understand
+"stole" or got admission by stealth.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_178_178" id="Footnote_178_178"></a><a href="#FNanchor_178_178"><span class="label">[178]</span></a> A literal rendering of the Fr. <i>mignon</i>, delicate or
+dainty.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_179_179" id="Footnote_179_179"></a><a href="#FNanchor_179_179"><span class="label">[179]</span></a> Neatly.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_180_180" id="Footnote_180_180"></a><a href="#FNanchor_180_180"><span class="label">[180]</span></a> The germ of this and the fallowing story may be found in
+Lane's <i>Arabian Tales and Anecdotes</i>, p. 112.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_181_181" id="Footnote_181_181"></a><a href="#FNanchor_181_181"><span class="label">[181]</span></a> Importuned.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_182_182" id="Footnote_182_182"></a><a href="#FNanchor_182_182"><span class="label">[182]</span></a> Prowled.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_183_183" id="Footnote_183_183"></a><a href="#FNanchor_183_183"><span class="label">[183]</span></a> Careful.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_184_184" id="Footnote_184_184"></a><a href="#FNanchor_184_184"><span class="label">[184]</span></a> Diogenes Laertius (<i>Lives of the Philosophers</i>,
+translated by Yonge. 1853, p. 18).</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_185_185" id="Footnote_185_185"></a><a href="#FNanchor_185_185"><span class="label">[185]</span></a> The orig. reads <i>whiche on a tyme</i>. I have therefore
+ventured to strike out the unnecessary word.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_186_186" id="Footnote_186_186"></a><a href="#FNanchor_186_186"><span class="label">[186]</span></a> A cant term for a bonnet.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_187_187" id="Footnote_187_187"></a><a href="#FNanchor_187_187"><span class="label">[187]</span></a> Thick bushy hair.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_188_188" id="Footnote_188_188"></a><a href="#FNanchor_188_188"><span class="label">[188]</span></a> See Brand's <i>Popular Antiquities</i>, ed. 1849, iii. 132,
+where Brand cites Melton's <i>Astrologaster, or the Figure-Caster</i>, 1620,
+to show that to dream of the devil and of gold was deemed an equally
+lucky portent. To dream of gold is also pronounced a happy omen in the
+<i>Countryman's Counsellor</i>. 1633.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_189_189" id="Footnote_189_189"></a><a href="#FNanchor_189_189"><span class="label">[189]</span></a> Dreams. Thus Chaucer, in the opening lines of the <i>House
+of Fame</i> (called in the old editions and in the present text the <i>Boke
+of Fame</i>), says:&nbsp;&mdash;
+</p><p>
+<span style="margin-left: 1em;">"God turne us every dreme to goode!</span><br />
+<span style="margin-left: 1em;">For hyt is wonder thing, be the roode,</span><br />
+<span style="margin-left: 1em;">To my wytte, what causeth swevenes</span><br />
+<span style="margin-left: 1em;">Eyther on morwes, or on evenes."</span><br />
+</p>
+<p>
+For examples of the later use of the word, see Nares by Halliwell and
+Wright, art. <i>Sweven</i>.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_190_190" id="Footnote_190_190"></a><a href="#FNanchor_190_190"><span class="label">[190]</span></a> Boasting.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_191_191" id="Footnote_191_191"></a><a href="#FNanchor_191_191"><span class="label">[191]</span></a> Singer reads <i>flee</i>.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_192_192" id="Footnote_192_192"></a><a href="#FNanchor_192_192"><span class="label">[192]</span></a> Headlong.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_193_193" id="Footnote_193_193"></a><a href="#FNanchor_193_193"><span class="label">[193]</span></a> Step, from the Latin <i>grassus</i> or <i>gressus</i>.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_194_194" id="Footnote_194_194"></a><a href="#FNanchor_194_194"><span class="label">[194]</span></a> Circumlocutory.&mdash;<span class="smcap">Singer.</span></p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_195_195" id="Footnote_195_195"></a><a href="#FNanchor_195_195"><span class="label">[195]</span></a> Vide supra, p. 22.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_196_196" id="Footnote_196_196"></a><a href="#FNanchor_196_196"><span class="label">[196]</span></a> A word used by Chaucer. It signifies a person licensed to
+preach and beg within a certain <i>limit</i>. There was an order of mendicant
+friars.
+</p><p>
+<span style="margin-left: 1em;">"Lordings, ther is in Engelond, I gesse,</span><br />
+<span style="margin-left: 1em;">A mersschly land called Holdernesse,</span><br />
+<span style="margin-left: 1em;">In which there went a lymytour aboute,</span><br />
+<span style="margin-left: 1em;">To preche and eek to begge, it is no doubte."</span><br />
+<br />
+<span style="margin-left: 1em;"><span class="smcap">Chaucer's</span> <i>Sompnour's Tale</i>; Works, ed. Bell. ii. 103.</span><br />
+</p>
+</div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_197_197" id="Footnote_197_197"></a><a href="#FNanchor_197_197"><span class="label">[197]</span></a> Scrowl.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_198_198" id="Footnote_198_198"></a><a href="#FNanchor_198_198"><span class="label">[198]</span></a> In orig. and in Singer this is printed as prose,
+according to the usual practice. The same is the case with the line
+below.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_199_199" id="Footnote_199_199"></a><a href="#FNanchor_199_199"><span class="label">[199]</span></a> Narrative or account. In its original signification,
+libel merely implied <i>libellus</i>, a little book or volume, a pamphlet,
+but not necessarily one of an offensive kind.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_200_200" id="Footnote_200_200"></a><a href="#FNanchor_200_200"><span class="label">[200]</span></a> Silly and licentious talk. Taylor the Water-Poet, at the
+end of his <i>Wit and Mirth</i>, 1622 (<i>Works</i>, 1630, folio I. p. 200), uses
+the expression <i>Ribble-rabble of Gossips</i>, which seems to be a phrase of
+very similar import.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_201_201" id="Footnote_201_201"></a><a href="#FNanchor_201_201"><span class="label">[201]</span></a> Padua.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_202_202" id="Footnote_202_202"></a><a href="#FNanchor_202_202"><span class="label">[202]</span></a> Hovered. This form of the word is used by Gower and
+Spenser. See Nares (ed. 1859), voce <i>Hove</i>.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_203_203" id="Footnote_203_203"></a><a href="#FNanchor_203_203"><span class="label">[203]</span></a> Rustic.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_204_204" id="Footnote_204_204"></a><a href="#FNanchor_204_204"><span class="label">[204]</span></a> Inn.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_205_205" id="Footnote_205_205"></a><a href="#FNanchor_205_205"><span class="label">[205]</span></a> See <i>Introduction</i> vi.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_206_206" id="Footnote_206_206"></a><a href="#FNanchor_206_206"><span class="label">[206]</span></a> Debt.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_207_207" id="Footnote_207_207"></a><a href="#FNanchor_207_207"><span class="label">[207]</span></a> Adultery. The word occurs in Bacon's Essays. In his
+<i>Essay of Empire</i>, the writer says:&mdash;"This kind of danger is then to be
+feared chiefly when the wives have plots for the raising of their own
+children, or else that they be <i>advoutresses</i>." Sir Simonds D'Ewes, in
+his account of the murder of Sir Thomas Overbury, in 1613, describes the
+Countess of Essex as "Somerset's <i>advoutress</i>" (<i>Autobiography and
+Correspondence of Sir Simonds D'Ewes</i>, ed. Halliwell, I. 74).</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_208_208" id="Footnote_208_208"></a><a href="#FNanchor_208_208"><span class="label">[208]</span></a> An old form of <i>neither</i>.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_209_209" id="Footnote_209_209"></a><a href="#FNanchor_209_209"><span class="label">[209]</span></a> In orig. <i>desired him of</i>.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_210_210" id="Footnote_210_210"></a><a href="#FNanchor_210_210"><span class="label">[210]</span></a> Orig. reads <i>sayd</i>.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_211_211" id="Footnote_211_211"></a><a href="#FNanchor_211_211"><span class="label">[211]</span></a> Whither.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_212_212" id="Footnote_212_212"></a><a href="#FNanchor_212_212"><span class="label">[212]</span></a> Dionysius.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_213_213" id="Footnote_213_213"></a><a href="#FNanchor_213_213"><span class="label">[213]</span></a> Orig. reads <i>che</i>.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_214_214" id="Footnote_214_214"></a><a href="#FNanchor_214_214"><span class="label">[214]</span></a> <i>Importunate</i> seems to be used here in the sense of
+<i>oppressive</i> or <i>overbearing</i>.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_215_215" id="Footnote_215_215"></a><a href="#FNanchor_215_215"><span class="label">[215]</span></a> Fr. "guerir," to heal.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_216_216" id="Footnote_216_216"></a><a href="#FNanchor_216_216"><span class="label">[216]</span></a> Poor, or, perhaps, poorly.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_217_217" id="Footnote_217_217"></a><a href="#FNanchor_217_217"><span class="label">[217]</span></a> Orig. reads <i>all to</i>. We take the true meaning to be
+<i>alto</i>, as above, <i>i.e.</i> in a loud key.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_218_218" id="Footnote_218_218"></a><a href="#FNanchor_218_218"><span class="label">[218]</span></a> Delude him with the false notion. <i>To bear on hande</i>, I
+presume to be synonymous with <i>To bear in hande</i> of the use of which
+among old authors several examples are furnished by Nares (edit. 1859).</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_219_219" id="Footnote_219_219"></a><a href="#FNanchor_219_219"><span class="label">[219]</span></a> Shells.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_220_220" id="Footnote_220_220"></a><a href="#FNanchor_220_220"><span class="label">[220]</span></a> Conjecture.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_221_221" id="Footnote_221_221"></a><a href="#FNanchor_221_221"><span class="label">[221]</span></a> Orig. and Singer read <i>an</i>.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_222_222" id="Footnote_222_222"></a><a href="#FNanchor_222_222"><span class="label">[222]</span></a> Innkeeper.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_223_223" id="Footnote_223_223"></a><a href="#FNanchor_223_223"><span class="label">[223]</span></a> Jealous, careful.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_224_224" id="Footnote_224_224"></a><a href="#FNanchor_224_224"><span class="label">[224]</span></a> Pressed.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_225_225" id="Footnote_225_225"></a><a href="#FNanchor_225_225"><span class="label">[225]</span></a> Wreaked, revenged.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_226_226" id="Footnote_226_226"></a><a href="#FNanchor_226_226"><span class="label">[226]</span></a> Reconcile them.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_227_227" id="Footnote_227_227"></a><a href="#FNanchor_227_227"><span class="label">[227]</span></a> <i>i. e.</i> according to their degree of madness. See
+<i>Introduction</i>, viii. ix.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_228_228" id="Footnote_228_228"></a><a href="#FNanchor_228_228"><span class="label">[228]</span></a> Assortment.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_229_229" id="Footnote_229_229"></a><a href="#FNanchor_229_229"><span class="label">[229]</span></a> Goods</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_230_230" id="Footnote_230_230"></a><a href="#FNanchor_230_230"><span class="label">[230]</span></a> This old Yorkshire family produced several persons
+eminent in the legal profession from the time of Henry I. downward; but
+the one here intended was, in all probability, John Vavasour, who became
+Recorder of York, I Henry VII., and was made a justice of the Common
+Pleas in August, 1490. See Foss's <i>Judges of England</i>, v. 78, 79.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_231_231" id="Footnote_231_231"></a><a href="#FNanchor_231_231"><span class="label">[231]</span></a> Of me.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_232_232" id="Footnote_232_232"></a><a href="#FNanchor_232_232"><span class="label">[232]</span></a> <i>i. e.</i> availed, has been worth &pound;100 to me.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_233_233" id="Footnote_233_233"></a><a href="#FNanchor_233_233"><span class="label">[233]</span></a> <i>i. e. came</i> to, or amounted to, covered.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_234_234" id="Footnote_234_234"></a><a href="#FNanchor_234_234"><span class="label">[234]</span></a> Hovered, <i>i. e.</i> halted for shelter.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_235_235" id="Footnote_235_235"></a><a href="#FNanchor_235_235"><span class="label">[235]</span></a> Laid it in pledge.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_236_236" id="Footnote_236_236"></a><a href="#FNanchor_236_236"><span class="label">[236]</span></a> Knot, party.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_237_237" id="Footnote_237_237"></a><a href="#FNanchor_237_237"><span class="label">[237]</span></a> To grow faint.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_238_238" id="Footnote_238_238"></a><a href="#FNanchor_238_238"><span class="label">[238]</span></a> Crowd.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_239_239" id="Footnote_239_239"></a><a href="#FNanchor_239_239"><span class="label">[239]</span></a> Usually. See Nares, edit. 1839, <i>in voce</i>.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_240_240" id="Footnote_240_240"></a><a href="#FNanchor_240_240"><span class="label">[240]</span></a> This story is to be found in Poggius, who calls it
+<i>Mortuus Loquens</i>, and from Poggius it was transferred by Grazzini to
+his collection of Tales, not published till after his death.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_241_241" id="Footnote_241_241"></a><a href="#FNanchor_241_241"><span class="label">[241]</span></a> Scarcely.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_242_242" id="Footnote_242_242"></a><a href="#FNanchor_242_242"><span class="label">[242]</span></a> Readily. A story very like this occurs in <i>A Sackful of
+Newes</i>, 1673. It was originally related by Poggius in his Faceti&aelig;, where
+it is entitled <i>Asinus Perditus</i>, and it has been imitated by La
+Fontaine in the fable of "Le Villageois qui cherche son veau." It is
+also the 12th tale of <i>Les Cent Nouvelles Nouvelles</i>.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_243_243" id="Footnote_243_243"></a><a href="#FNanchor_243_243"><span class="label">[243]</span></a> Before.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_244_244" id="Footnote_244_244"></a><a href="#FNanchor_244_244"><span class="label">[244]</span></a> Pillaged.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_245_245" id="Footnote_245_245"></a><a href="#FNanchor_245_245"><span class="label">[245]</span></a> "Now there was one <i>Marcus Livius</i>, a <span class="smcap">Romaine</span> that was
+Gouernour of <span class="smcap">Tarentum</span> at that time when <i>Hanniball</i> tooke it, and
+neverthelesse kept the castell still out of <i>Hannibals</i> hands, and so
+held it untill the city came againe into the hands of the <span class="smcap">Romaines</span>. This
+<i>Livius</i> spited to see such honour done to <i>Fabius</i>, so that one day in
+open Senate, being drowned with enuy and ambition, he burst out and
+said, that it was himselfe, not <i>Fabius</i>, that was cause of taking of
+the city of <span class="smcap">Tarentum</span> again. <i>Fabius</i>, smiling to hear him, answeryd him
+opely: 'Indeed, thou saiest true, for if thou hadst not lost it, I had
+never won it again.'"&mdash;Plutarch's <i>Lives</i>, transl. by Sir T. North, ed.
+1603, fol. 192.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_246_246" id="Footnote_246_246"></a><a href="#FNanchor_246_246"><span class="label">[246]</span></a>
+&#928;&#8001;&#955;&#964;&#965;&#962;, &#8001; &#920;&#961;&#945;&#954;&#8033;&#957; &#914;&#945;&#963;&#953;&#955;&#949;&#8017;&#962; &#949;&#957; &#964;&#8033; &#932;&#961;&#969;&#953;&#954;&#8033; &#960;&#959;&#955;&#7953;&#956;&#969;
+&#960;&#961;&#949;&#963;&#946;&#965;&#963;&#945;&#956;&#7953;&#957;&#969;&#957; &#960;&#961;&#8001;&#962;&#945;&#8017;&#964;&#959;&#957; &#945;&#945; &#964;&#8033;&#957; &#932;&#961;&#8033;&#969;&#957; &#954;&#945;&#953; &#964;&#8033;&#957; &#7945;&#967;&#945;&#953;&#8033;&#957;,
+&#949;&#954;&#7953;&#955;&#949;&#965;&#963;&#949; &#964;&#8001;&#957;
+&#7945;&#955;&#7953;&#958;&#945;&#957;&#948;&#961;&#959;&#957; &#945;&#960;&#959;&#948;&#8001;&#957;&#964;&#945; &#964;&#7969;&#957; &#7961;&#955;&#7953;&#957;&#951;&#957;, &#948;&#8017;&#959; &#960;&#945;&#961; &#945;&#8017;&#964;&#959;&#965; &#955;&#945;&#946;&#949;&#7985;&#957; &#954;&#945;&#955;&#7937;&#962; &#947;&#965;&#957;&#945;&#7985;&#954;&#945;&#963;&#945;&#8017;&#964;&#959;&#965; &#955;&#945;&#946;&#949;&#7985;&#957; &#954;&#945;&#955;&#7937;&#962; &#947;&#965;&#957;&#945;&#7985;&#954;&#945;&#963;&mdash;Plutarchi <i>Apothegmata</i> (Opera Moralia et Philosophica, vol.
+vi. p. 665, edit. Lipsi&aelig;, 1777).</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_247_247" id="Footnote_247_247"></a><a href="#FNanchor_247_247"><span class="label">[247]</span></a> See the 21st Novel of the 1st tome of the <i>Palace of
+Pleasure</i> (Haslewood's edit. i. 74).</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_248_248" id="Footnote_248_248"></a><a href="#FNanchor_248_248"><span class="label">[248]</span></a> "Quibus perlectis, quum se consideraturum, adhibitis
+amicis, quid faciendum sibi esset, dixisset, Popilius, pro cetera
+asperitate animi, virga, quam in manu gerebat, circumscripsit regem: ac,
+'Priusquam hoc circulo excedas,' inquit, 'redde responsum, senatui quod
+referam.' Obstupefactus tam violento imperio parumper quum h&aelig;sitasset,
+'Faciam,' inquit 'quod censet Senatus.' Tun demum Popilius dextram regi,
+tanquam socio atque amico, porrexit."&mdash;Livy, lib. xlv. c. 12, edit.
+Twiss.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_249_249" id="Footnote_249_249"></a><a href="#FNanchor_249_249"><span class="label">[249]</span></a> Edged.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_250_250" id="Footnote_250_250"></a><a href="#FNanchor_250_250"><span class="label">[250]</span></a> "Mal est cach&eacute; a qui l'on void le dos."&mdash;Leigh's <i>Select
+French Proverbs</i>, 1664.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_251_251" id="Footnote_251_251"></a><a href="#FNanchor_251_251"><span class="label">[251]</span></a> Good fortune.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_252_252" id="Footnote_252_252"></a><a href="#FNanchor_252_252"><span class="label">[252]</span></a> Casting of lots.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_253_253" id="Footnote_253_253"></a><a href="#FNanchor_253_253"><span class="label">[253]</span></a> Lampsacus.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_254_254" id="Footnote_254_254"></a><a href="#FNanchor_254_254"><span class="label">[254]</span></a> Anaximenes, the historian, who wrote an account of the
+Life of Alexander the Great. He was a native of Lampsacus, and the
+nephew of the orator of the same name.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_255_255" id="Footnote_255_255"></a><a href="#FNanchor_255_255"><span class="label">[255]</span></a> <i>i.e.</i> Discharge, or acquit herself of, her trust.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_256_256" id="Footnote_256_256"></a><a href="#FNanchor_256_256"><span class="label">[256]</span></a> Uncouth. "If thou shuldest refuse to do any of these
+thynges, and woldest assaye to do some thing of more sadnes and
+prudence, they wyll esteme and count the vnmanerly, <i>cloubbysshe</i>,
+frowarde, and clene contrarye to all mennes myndes."&mdash;Erasmus <i>De
+Contemptu Mundi</i>, transl. by Thomas Paynel, 1533, fol. 42. "Rusticitie
+may seem to be an ignorance of honesty and comelinesse. A Clowne or rude
+fellow is he, who will goe into a crowd or presse, when he hath taken a
+purge: and hee that sayth, that Garlicke is as sweet as a gillifiower:
+that weares shooes much larger then his foot: that speakes alwaies very
+loud:" &amp;c.,&mdash;<i>Theophrastus His Characters</i>, translated by John Healey,
+1616, pp. 15, 16. It is a generally received opinion that this work has
+come down to us in a corrupt shape.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_257_257" id="Footnote_257_257"></a><a href="#FNanchor_257_257"><span class="label">[257]</span></a> Times were altered when the curious ballad "These Knights
+will hack," printed by Mr. Halliwell from Addit. MS. 5832, in one of the
+Shakespeare Society's publications (<i>Marriage of Wit and Wisdom</i>, &amp;c.,
+p. 144), was directed against the mushroom-knights of James I.:&mdash;
+</p><p>
+<span style="margin-left: 1em;">"Come all you farmers out of the countrey,</span><br />
+<span style="margin-left: 2em;">Carters, plowmen, hedgers, and all,</span><br />
+<span style="margin-left: 1em;">Tom, Dick, and Will, Ralph, Roger, and Humphrey,</span><br />
+<span style="margin-left: 2em;">Leave of your gestures rusticall.</span><br />
+<span style="margin-left: 1em;">Bidde all your home-sponne russets adue,</span><br />
+<span style="margin-left: 1em;">And sute yourselves in fashions new:</span><br />
+<span style="margin-left: 1em;">Honour invits you to delights;</span><br />
+<span style="margin-left: 1em;">Come all to court, and be made knights.</span><br />
+<span style="margin-left: 1em;">He that hath fortie pounds per annum</span><br />
+<span style="margin-left: 2em;">Shal be promoted from the plow:</span><br />
+<span style="margin-left: 1em;">His wife shall take the wall of her grannam,</span><br />
+<span style="margin-left: 2em;">Honour is sould so dog-cheap now," &amp;c.</span><br />
+</p>
+</div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_258_258" id="Footnote_258_258"></a><a href="#FNanchor_258_258"><span class="label">[258]</span></a> Consult the new edition of Nares' Glossary, voce
+<i>Walsingham</i>. "This is an Image of oure Ladye. Ergo it is oure Ladye,
+and here she wyll worke wounders more than in an other place, as she dyd
+at Walsingham, at Boston, at Lincoln, at Ipswiche, and I cannot tell
+where."&mdash;Wilson's <i>Rule of Reason</i>, 1551, 8vo. sign S ii <i>verso</i>. In
+Percy's <i>Reliques</i>, ii. 91, is the ballad "As I went to Walsingham."
+"Have with you to Walsingham" is mentioned as a musical composition in
+Ward's <i>Lives of the Professors of Gresham College</i>. See also Burney's
+<i>Hist. of Music</i>, iii. p. 111. When people employed this form of
+adjuration, as was formerly very common, they were said, for brevity's
+sake, "to swear Walsingham." In the play of <i>The Weakest Goeth to the
+Wall</i>, 1600, 4to. Barnaby Bunch the Botcher sings:
+</p><p>
+<span style="margin-left: 1em;">"King Richard's gone to Walsingham,</span><br />
+<span style="margin-left: 1em;">To the Holy Land!"</span><br />
+</p>
+
+<p>
+with what are intended for comic interlocutions. In March, 1502&mdash;3,
+Elizabeth of York, consort of Henry VII, made an oblation of six
+shillings and eightpence to "oure lady of Walsingham" (<i>Privy Purse
+Expenses of Elizabeth of York</i>, edited by Nicolas, p. 3). This offering
+may not appear very large, but it was thought a considerable sum to
+devote to the purpose in those days; for in the <i>Northumberland
+Household Book</i>, ed. 1827, p. 337, we find that the yearly offering of
+the Earl of Northumberland (Henry Algernon Percy, 5th. Earl, b. 1478, d.
+1527) to the same shrine was fourpence. There is a fuller account of the
+Shrine of Walsingham, &amp;c., in Chappell's <i>Popular Music of the Olden
+Time</i>, 121, et seqq.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_259_259" id="Footnote_259_259"></a><a href="#FNanchor_259_259"><span class="label">[259]</span></a> It is just possible that this individual may be identical
+with the "John Reynolde" mentioned in the subjoined extract from the
+<i>Privy Purse Expenses of Elizabeth of York</i>, under date of December,
+1502:&mdash;
+</p>
+<div class="blockquot"><p>"It[=m] the xv<sup>th</sup> day of Decembre, to John Reynolde for money by
+him payed to a man that broke a yong hors of the Quenes at Mortymer
+by the space of v wekes, every weke iis. s[=m]. xs."</p></div></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_260_260" id="Footnote_260_260"></a><a href="#FNanchor_260_260"><span class="label">[260]</span></a> Orig. reads <i>as</i>.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_261_261" id="Footnote_261_261"></a><a href="#FNanchor_261_261"><span class="label">[261]</span></a> Foolish. Used in this sense by Chaucer and Shakespeare.
+See the last edit, of Nares <i>in voce</i>.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_262_262" id="Footnote_262_262"></a><a href="#FNanchor_262_262"><span class="label">[262]</span></a> I have already explained this word to signify adultery.
+The latter form appears to have been little used by old writers (though
+it occurs in the <i>Rule of Reason</i>, 1551, 8vo. by Thomas Wilson). Thus in
+Paynel's translation of Erasmus <i>De Contemptu Mundi</i>,1533, fol. 16, we
+find&mdash;"Richesse engendre and brynge forth inceste and advoutry."
+</p><p>
+<span style="margin-left: 1em;">"<i>Hobs.</i> Mass, they say King Henry is a very <i>advoutry</i> man.</span><br />
+</p><p>
+<span style="margin-left: 1em;">"<i>King.</i> A devout man? And what King Edward?"&mdash;</span><br />
+</p><p>
+<span style="margin-left: 1em;">Heywood's <i>Edward IV.</i> Part I. 1600.</span><br />
+</p>
+
+</div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_263_263" id="Footnote_263_263"></a><a href="#FNanchor_263_263"><span class="label">[263]</span></a> Orig. and Singer read <i>opteyned</i>.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_264_264" id="Footnote_264_264"></a><a href="#FNanchor_264_264"><span class="label">[264]</span></a> Orig. and Singer read <i>wordlye</i>.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_265_265" id="Footnote_265_265"></a><a href="#FNanchor_265_265"><span class="label">[265]</span></a> Give attention.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_266_266" id="Footnote_266_266"></a><a href="#FNanchor_266_266"><span class="label">[266]</span></a> "The covetous man is servaunt and nat mayster vnto
+riches: and the waster will nat longe be mayster therof. The one is
+possessed and doth nat possesse; and the other within a shorte whyle
+leueth the possession of riches."&mdash;Erasmus <i>De Contemptu Mundi</i>, 1533,
+fol. 17 (Paynel's translation). So also, in the <i>Rule of Reason</i>, 1551,
+8vo, Wilson says:&mdash;"Is a covetous man poore or not? I may thus reason
+with my self. Why should a couetous man be called poore, what affinitie
+is betwixt them twoo? Marie, in this poynct thei bothe agree, that like
+as the poore man ever lacketh and desireth to have, so the covetous
+manne ever lacketh, wantyng the use of that whiche he hath, and desireth
+styl to have." "To a covetous ma he (Pythagoras) sayde:&mdash;"O fole, thy
+ryches are lost upon the, and are very pouertie."&mdash;Baldwin's <i>Treatise
+of Morall Phylosophie</i>, 1547.</p></div>
+
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_267_267" id="Footnote_267_267"></a><a href="#FNanchor_267_267"><span class="label">[267]</span></a> Conjured.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_268_268" id="Footnote_268_268"></a><a href="#FNanchor_268_268"><span class="label">[268]</span></a> Orig. reads <i>no meat of</i>.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_269_269" id="Footnote_269_269"></a><a href="#FNanchor_269_269"><span class="label">[269]</span></a> Orig. reads <i>a fire</i>.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_270_270" id="Footnote_270_270"></a><a href="#FNanchor_270_270"><span class="label">[270]</span></a> This tale, which is a very old one, is also found in
+<i>Jests to Make You Merie</i>, by T[homas] D[ekker] and George Wilkins,
+Lond. 1607, 4to. and in the <i>Philosophers Banquet</i>, 1614, 3vo.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_271_271" id="Footnote_271_271"></a><a href="#FNanchor_271_271"><span class="label">[271]</span></a> In <i>Chevr&aelig;ana</i>, premi&egrave;re partie, Paris, 1697, 8vo. p.
+119, this story is altered to suit the Emperor Maximilian I.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_272_272" id="Footnote_272_272"></a><a href="#FNanchor_272_272"><span class="label">[272]</span></a> See Balbo, <i>Vita di Dante</i>, edit. 1853. Can de la Scala,
+mentioned in the text, was one of the sons of Alberto de la Scala, Lord
+of Verona, and was born in 1292. Some account of Alberto de la Scala may
+be found in my <i>Venetian History</i>.
+</p><p>
+The anecdote related here probably refers to the earlier period of
+Dante's acquaintance with the prince, about <span class="smcap">A. D.</span> 1318-20. Balbo does
+not seem to have thought this story worthy of notice, though he
+furnishes one or two other examples of the poet's powers of retort. See
+also Cinthio's <i>Hecatommithi, Deca Settima, Novella settima</i>, edit.
+1608.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_273_273" id="Footnote_273_273"></a><a href="#FNanchor_273_273"><span class="label">[273]</span></a> Orig. reads <i>holde</i>.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_274_274" id="Footnote_274_274"></a><a href="#FNanchor_274_274"><span class="label">[274]</span></a>
+</p><p>
+<span style="margin-left: 1em;">"<i>On Sore Eyes.</i></span><br />
+</p><p>
+<span style="margin-left: 1em;"><i>Fuscus</i> was councell'd if he would preserve</span><br />
+<span style="margin-left: 1em;">His eyes in perfect sight, drinking to swerve;</span><br />
+<span style="margin-left: 1em;">But he reply'd, 'tis better that I shu'd</span><br />
+<span style="margin-left: 1em;">Loose the, then keep them for the worms as food."</span><br />
+</p><p>
+<span style="margin-left: 1em;"><i>Wits Recreations</i>, 1640 (p. 35 of reprint 1817).</span><br />
+</p>
+</div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_275_275" id="Footnote_275_275"></a><a href="#FNanchor_275_275"><span class="label">[275]</span></a> See the new edition of Nares <i>in voce</i>. <i>Orphlin</i> is
+merely a contraction of the French <i>orphelin</i>.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_276_276" id="Footnote_276_276"></a><a href="#FNanchor_276_276"><span class="label">[276]</span></a>
+</p><p>
+<span style="margin-left: 1em;">"A Skilfull Painter such rare pictures drew,</span><br />
+<span style="margin-left: 1em;">That every man his workemanship admir'd:</span><br />
+</p>
+<p>
+<span style="margin-left: 1em;">So neere the life in beautie, forme and hew,</span><br />
+<span style="margin-left: 1em;">As if dead Art 'gainst Nature had conspir'd.</span><br />
+<span style="margin-left: 1em;">Painter, sayes one, thy wife's a pretty woman,</span><br />
+<span style="margin-left: 1em;">I muse such ill-shapt children thou hast got,</span><br />
+<span style="margin-left: 1em;">Yet mak'st such pictures as their likes makes no man,</span><br />
+<span style="margin-left: 1em;">I prethee tell the cause of this thy lot?</span><br />
+<span style="margin-left: 1em;">Quoth he, I paint by day when it is light,</span><br />
+<span style="margin-left: 1em;">And get my children in the darke at night."&mdash;</span><br />
+</p><p><br />
+<span style="margin-left: 1em;">Taylor's <i>Sculler</i>, 1612 (Works, 1630, iii. 22).</span><br />
+</p>
+</div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_277_277" id="Footnote_277_277"></a><a href="#FNanchor_277_277"><span class="label">[277]</span></a> See <i>Scoggin's Jests</i>, p. 28 (edit. 1796).</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_278_278" id="Footnote_278_278"></a><a href="#FNanchor_278_278"><span class="label">[278]</span></a> Liest.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_279_279" id="Footnote_279_279"></a><a href="#FNanchor_279_279"><span class="label">[279]</span></a> (?) God's alms. Browne calls this a <i>dunghill</i> oath:&mdash;
+</p><p>
+<span style="margin-left: 1em;">"With that the <i>Miller</i> laughing brush'd his cloathes,</span><br />
+<span style="margin-left: 1em;">Then swore by Cocke and other dung-hill oathes."</span><br />
+</p><p><br />
+<span style="margin-left: 1em;"><i>Britannias Pastorals</i>, lib. i. p. 100 (ed. 1625).</span><br />
+</p>
+<p>
+It is very commonly found in the early dramatists, and long before the
+statute of James the First, <i>By cock</i> and similar phrases were used, in
+order to evade the charge of profaning the name of the Deity. It is of
+particularly frequent occurrence in Skelton's <i>Magnyfycence</i>:&mdash;
+</p><p>
+<span style="margin-left: 1em;">"<i>Cr</i>[afty] <i>Con</i>[veyance]. Cockes armes, thou shalt kepe the brewhouse</span><br />
+<span style="margin-left: 1em;">boule.</span><br />
+</p><p><br />
+<span style="margin-left: 1em;"><i>Fol</i>[ye]. But may I drynke thereof whylest that I stare?"</span><br />
+</p><p><br />
+<span style="margin-left: 1em;"><i>Magnyfycence</i> (Skelton's Works, ed. Dyce, i. 268).</span><br />
+</p>
+<p>
+But this writer seems to have employed it rather fantastically than from
+any desire to soften the oath; for elsewhere in the same piece we find
+<i>By God, Goddes fote</i>, &amp;c. The practice of swearing had grown to such a
+pitch in the time of Taylor the Water-Poet, that that writer says
+(<i>Against Cursing and Swearing</i>, Works, 1630, i. 50):&mdash;"If the penalty
+of twelve pence for every oath had been duly paid (as the statute hath
+in that case provided) I doe verily beleeve that all the coyned money in
+England would have been forfeited that way." Whitford, in his <i>Werke for
+Housholders</i>, first printed about 1528 (edit. 1533, sign. c. ii et
+seqq.), relates several remarkable judgments as having fallen, within
+his personal knowledge, on profane swearers, who were as plentiful and
+as reckless in the time of Henry VIII. as they were a century later.</p></div>
+
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_280_280" id="Footnote_280_280"></a><a href="#FNanchor_280_280"><span class="label">[280]</span></a> Do it.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_281_281" id="Footnote_281_281"></a><a href="#FNanchor_281_281"><span class="label">[281]</span></a> God thank you.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_282_282" id="Footnote_282_282"></a><a href="#FNanchor_282_282"><span class="label">[282]</span></a> <i>i.e.</i> I had.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_283_283" id="Footnote_283_283"></a><a href="#FNanchor_283_283"><span class="label">[283]</span></a> The beverage of which these persons are here supposed to
+partake was probably what, in Charles the First's time, was called
+<i>white wine</i>; which, if diluted, as was no doubt very commonly done,
+would present a very watery aspect. A very curious account of the wines
+in vogue during the reigns of Elizabeth and James I. is given by Taylor
+the Water-Poet in his <i>Praise of Hempseed</i>. Cartwright, in his
+<i>Ordinary</i>, has the following passage, describing the various sorts of
+wine used in his day:&mdash;
+</p><p>
+<span style="margin-left: 1em;">"<i>Hearsay.</i> Thou hast forgotten Wine, Lieutenant, wine.</span><br />
+</p><p>
+<span style="margin-left: 1em;"><i>Slicer.</i>&nbsp; Then to avoid the grosse absurdity</span><br />
+<span style="margin-left: 1em;">Of a dry Battel, 'cause there must some bloud</span><br />
+<span style="margin-left: 1em;">Be spilt (on th' enemies side, I mean) you may</span><br />
+<span style="margin-left: 1em;">Have there a Rundlet of brisk Claret, and</span><br />
+<span style="margin-left: 1em;">As much of Aligant, the same quantitie</span><br />
+<span style="margin-left: 1em;">Of Tent would not be wanting, 'tis a wine</span><br />
+<span style="margin-left: 1em;">Most like to bloud. Some shall bleed fainter colours,</span><br />
+<span style="margin-left: 1em;">As Sack, and white wine. Some that have the itch</span><br />
+<span style="margin-left: 1em;">(As there are Taylors still in every Army)</span><br />
+<span style="margin-left: 1em;">Shall run with Renish, that hath Brimstone in't."</span><br />
+</p>
+<p>
+<i>Aligant</i> mentioned in this extract was the wine grown in Alicante, a
+province of the ancient Kingdom of Valencia. Sometimes it was spelled
+Aligaunt or Aligaunte:&mdash;
+</p><p>
+<span style="margin-left: 1em;">"<i>Pseud.</i> In Ganges Iles I thirty rivers saw</span><br />
+<span style="margin-left: 1em;">Fill'd with sweet nectar.</span><br />
+</p><p>
+<span style="margin-left: 1em;"><i>Lach.</i> O dainty lyer!</span><br />
+</p><p>
+<span style="margin-left: 1em;"><i>Pseud.</i> Thirty rivers more</span><br />
+<span style="margin-left: 1em;">With Aligaunte."</span><br />
+</p>
+<p>
+<span style="margin-left: 1em;"><i>Timon</i>, a Play, p. 39.</span><br />
+</p>
+<p>
+In the <i>Privy Purse Expenses of Henry VIII.</i>, under date of Feb. 16,
+1530, occurs the following item:&mdash;"Paied to the S'geant of the Sello'
+for iii tonne of white wyne of galiake (Gaillac in Languedoc)." See also
+<i>the Northumberland House-Hold Book</i>, ed. 1827, p. 414; and Taylor's
+<i>Penniless Pilgrimage</i>, 1618 (<i>Works</i>, 1630, i. 136).</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_284_284" id="Footnote_284_284"></a><a href="#FNanchor_284_284"><span class="label">[284]</span></a> "He that will take the bird, must not skare
+it."&mdash;Herbert's <i>Outlandish Proverbs</i>, 1640, No. 41.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_285_285" id="Footnote_285_285"></a><a href="#FNanchor_285_285"><span class="label">[285]</span></a> This word, which frequently occurs in the course of the
+present work, must be understood to be merely equivalent to the Greek
+[Greek: tyrannos], a prince whose authority is unlimited by
+constitutional restraints. There seems to be some ground for the
+supposition that [Greek: tyrannos] is nothing more than the Doric form
+of [Greek: koipanos]. It may be mentioned that in middle-Greek the word
+<i>despota</i> ([Greek: despot&ecirc;s]) bore no harsher meaning than that of a
+<i>petty prince</i>, acting independently, but acknowledging a suzerain. It
+is to be found in this sense, I think, in almost all the Byzantine
+historians.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_286_286" id="Footnote_286_286"></a><a href="#FNanchor_286_286"><span class="label">[286]</span></a> <i>i.e.</i> when the undertaking is no matter of choice.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_287_287" id="Footnote_287_287"></a><a href="#FNanchor_287_287"><span class="label">[287]</span></a> This is a very favourite tale with the early Italian
+novelists. In Dunlop's <i>History of Fiction</i>, ii. 364-5 (Second Edition),
+the incident is said to have been founded on a real adventure of a
+French priest. In the following extract from a highly curious pamphlet,
+it appears in a different form:&mdash;
+</p><p>
+"There was a rich Burgess of Antwerp, a Mercer by his trade, who was a
+Bawd to his own Wife (though it was against his will or knowledge), but
+I blame him not, for I doubt hee hath many more fellowes as innocent and
+ignorant as himselfe, but this was the case, his wife wearing corke
+shooes, was somewhat light-heel'd, and like a foul player at Irish,
+sometimes she would beare a man too many, and now and then make a wrong
+Entrance. The summe was, that shee lov'd a Doctor of Physicke well, and
+to attaine his company shee knew no better or safer way, than to faine
+her selfe sicke, that hee under the colour of visitation might feele her
+pulses, and apply such cordiall Remedies as might either ease or cure
+her. In briefe, the Doctor being sent for, comes and finds the Mercer
+her husband walking in his shop with a neighbour of his, where after a
+leash of <i>Congees</i>, and a brace of <i>Baza los manus</i>, the Mercer told him
+that his Wife is a languishing sicke woman, and withall entreats him to
+take the paines to walke up the staires, and minister some comfort unto
+her: Master Doctor, who knew her disease by the Symptomes, ascends up
+into the Chamber to his longing patient, staying an houre with her,
+applying such directions and refections, that her health was upon the
+sudden almost halfe recovered; so taking his leave of her (with promise
+of often visitation) he comes downe into the shope, where the guiltlesse
+<i>Bawd</i> her husband was, who demanding of the Doctor how all did above;
+truely quoth hee, much better than when I came, but since I went up,
+your wife hath had two such strange violent fits upon her, that it would
+have grieved your very heart to have seene but part of one of
+them."&mdash;Taylor's <i>Bawd</i> (Works, 1630, ii. 94).</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_288_288" id="Footnote_288_288"></a><a href="#FNanchor_288_288"><span class="label">[288]</span></a> Louvaine.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_289_289" id="Footnote_289_289"></a><a href="#FNanchor_289_289"><span class="label">[289]</span></a> Cooked.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_290_290" id="Footnote_290_290"></a><a href="#FNanchor_290_290"><span class="label">[290]</span></a> It is scarcely necessary to mention that formerly all
+priests were styled Sir. One of John Heywood's interludes is called: <i>A
+Play between Johan the Husband, Tyb the Wife, and Sir Johan the Prest</i>.
+In an old ballad in the Ashmole Collection, beginning, "Adew! my pretty
+pussy," there is this passage:&mdash;
+</p><p>
+<span style="margin-left: 1em;">"But the gyrld ys gon, syr,</span><br />
+<span style="margin-left: 1em;">With a chokynge bon, syr,</span><br />
+<span style="margin-left: 1em;">For she hath got Syr John, syr,</span><br />
+<span style="margin-left: 3em;">And ys oure vyckars wyff."</span><br />
+</p>
+</div>
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_291_291" id="Footnote_291_291"></a><a href="#FNanchor_291_291"><span class="label">[291]</span></a> Thwarted, crossed.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_292_292" id="Footnote_292_292"></a><a href="#FNanchor_292_292"><span class="label">[292]</span></a> The original of this is the Fabliau of <i>La Hence Partie</i>,
+in Barbazan's Collection. The story has been used by Lando, in his
+<i>Varii Componimenti</i>, 1552, 8vo.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_293_293" id="Footnote_293_293"></a><a href="#FNanchor_293_293"><span class="label">[293]</span></a> Bath.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_294_294" id="Footnote_294_294"></a><a href="#FNanchor_294_294"><span class="label">[294]</span></a> Rub, from the French, <i>frotter</i>.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_295_295" id="Footnote_295_295"></a><a href="#FNanchor_295_295"><span class="label">[295]</span></a> Phocion, the celebrated Athenian patriot, b. 402 <span class="smcap">B.C.</span> d.
+317 <span class="smcap">B.C.</span> Full particulars about him may be found in Mr. Grote's <i>History
+of Greece</i>, and in Dr. Smith's <i>Dictionary of Classical Biography</i>.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_296_296" id="Footnote_296_296"></a><a href="#FNanchor_296_296"><span class="label">[296]</span></a> Orig. reads unnecessarily, <i>and to be such one styll</i>.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_297_297" id="Footnote_297_297"></a><a href="#FNanchor_297_297"><span class="label">[297]</span></a> The celebrated Latin poet. "Quintus Ennius," Gellius
+tells us (<i>N. A.</i> lib. xvii. cap. 17), "said he had three hearts,
+because he understood the Greek, Oscan, and Latin languages."</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_298_298" id="Footnote_298_298"></a><a href="#FNanchor_298_298"><span class="label">[298]</span></a> Orig. reads <i>coude</i>.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_299_299" id="Footnote_299_299"></a><a href="#FNanchor_299_299"><span class="label">[299]</span></a> So far extends Berthelet's edition, of which the colophon
+is: Imprinted at London in Flete Strete in the house of Thomas Berthelet
+nere to the Cundite, at the sygne of Lucrece. &para; Cum priuilegio. The
+remaining 26 tales are from the Ed. of 1567.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_300_300" id="Footnote_300_300"></a><a href="#FNanchor_300_300"><span class="label">[300]</span></a> Dormitory.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_301_301" id="Footnote_301_301"></a><a href="#FNanchor_301_301"><span class="label">[301]</span></a> During the Wars of the Roses. In <i>The First Part of
+Edward IV.</i>, by Thomas Heywoud, 1600 (Shakesp. Soc. repr. p. 41), Hobs,
+the Tanner of Tamworth, says:&mdash;
+</p>
+<div class="blockquot"><p>"By my troth, I know not, when I speak treason, when I do not.
+There's such halting betwixt two kings, that a man cannot go
+upright, but he shall offend t'one of them. I would God had them
+both, for me."</p></div></div>
+
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_302_302" id="Footnote_302_302"></a><a href="#FNanchor_302_302"><span class="label">[302]</span></a> This word is in the original text printed twice by an
+oversight. I have struck out the duplicate.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_303_303" id="Footnote_303_303"></a><a href="#FNanchor_303_303"><span class="label">[303]</span></a> <i>i.e.</i> a person dwelling in the uplands or mountainous
+districts where the learning of the cities had not very deeply
+penetrated. Hence the word became synonymous with ignorant and
+uninformed. Alexander Barclay's fifth eclogue is "Of the Citizen and
+Uplandish Man." The poem of <i>Jack Upland</i> is printed in the old editions
+of Chaucer and in Wright's <i>Political Poems and Songs</i>, 1861, ii. 16.
+Mr. Wright assigns to it the date of 1401.
+</p><p>
+<span style="margin-left: 1em;">"He hath perus'd all the impressions</span><br />
+<span style="margin-left: 1em;">Of Sonnets, since the fall of Lucifer,</span><br />
+<span style="margin-left: 1em;">And made some scurvy quaint collections</span><br />
+<span style="margin-left: 1em;">Of fustian phrases, and <i>uplandish</i> words."</span><br />
+</p>
+<p>
+Heywood's <i>Fair Maid of the Exchange</i>, 1600.</p></div>
+
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_304_304" id="Footnote_304_304"></a><a href="#FNanchor_304_304"><span class="label">[304]</span></a> Perhaps <i>went</i> is the true reading.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_305_305" id="Footnote_305_305"></a><a href="#FNanchor_305_305"><span class="label">[305]</span></a> "What must he (the king) do then? He must be a student.
+He must write God's booke himselfe, not thinking because he is a king,
+but he hath licence to do what he will, as these worldly flatterers are
+wont to say."&mdash;<i>Latimer's Second Sermon before King Edward VI.</i> 1549.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_306_306" id="Footnote_306_306"></a><a href="#FNanchor_306_306"><span class="label">[306]</span></a> <i>i.e.</i> coming home.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_307_307" id="Footnote_307_307"></a><a href="#FNanchor_307_307"><span class="label">[307]</span></a> Better known as Roberto Caraccioli-Caraccioli. He was
+born in 1425 at Licio, in the Neapolitan territory, and was thence often
+called Robertus Liciensis. Watt (<i>Bibliotheca Britannica</i>, voce <i>Licio</i>)
+mentions only his sermons: but he published several other tracts.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_308_308" id="Footnote_308_308"></a><a href="#FNanchor_308_308"><span class="label">[308]</span></a> Usually spelt <i>prease</i> or <i>prese</i>. The word signifies
+<i>crowd</i>. It occurs in this sense in Edwardes' <i>Damon and Pythias</i>,
+composed about 1564.
+</p><p>
+<span style="margin-left: 1em;">"Yet shall there no restraynt</span><br />
+<span style="margin-left: 1em;">Cause me to cese,</span><br />
+<span style="margin-left: 1em;">Among this prese,</span><br />
+<span style="margin-left: 1em;">For to encrese</span><br />
+<span style="margin-left: 1em;">Youre goodly name."</span><br />
+</p><p><br />
+<span style="margin-left: 1em;">Skelton's <i>Garlande of Laurell</i>.</span><br />
+</p>
+</div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_309_309" id="Footnote_309_309"></a><a href="#FNanchor_309_309"><span class="label">[309]</span></a> Orig. and Singer read <i>or els you to holde</i>.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_310_310" id="Footnote_310_310"></a><a href="#FNanchor_310_310"><span class="label">[310]</span></a> The celebrated <i>Moria Encomium</i>, of which an English
+version appeared in 1549.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_311_311" id="Footnote_311_311"></a><a href="#FNanchor_311_311"><span class="label">[311]</span></a> <i>Nosled</i> or <i>nousled</i> is the same as <i>nursled</i>, brought
+up. See Todd's Johnson, 1827, in voce <i>nosled</i>; and Richardson's Dict.
+<i>ibid.</i> The word is not in Webster or Nares.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_312_312" id="Footnote_312_312"></a><a href="#FNanchor_312_312"><span class="label">[312]</span></a> The allusion in the text is probably to the paraphrastic
+version of the New Testament by Erasmus, which had then recently
+appeared in two volumes, folio (1516). The work did not appear in an
+English dress till 1548.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_313_313" id="Footnote_313_313"></a><a href="#FNanchor_313_313"><span class="label">[313]</span></a> <i>Enchiridion Militis Christiani.</i> An English translation
+of this work appeared in 1533, in which Enchiridion is rendered <i>The
+Handsome Weapon</i>.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_314_314" id="Footnote_314_314"></a><a href="#FNanchor_314_314"><span class="label">[314]</span></a> These pleasantries at the expense of the preachers in the
+time of Henry VIII. bear perhaps a little hard upon the fraternity. The
+rendering of Latin authors was not much improved a century or two
+later.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_315_315" id="Footnote_315_315"></a><a href="#FNanchor_315_315"><span class="label">[315]</span></a> The Northern men seem to have been formerly favourite
+subjects for story tellers and ballad-writers. Martin Parker published a
+poem called "The King and a Poore Northern man," and there is a ballad
+entitled "The King and the Northern man." Neither has anything to do
+with the present tale. No. 95 of the <i>C. Mery Talys</i>, of which only a
+small fragment is at present known to exist, is entitled, "Of the
+Northern man that was all harte."</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_316_316" id="Footnote_316_316"></a><a href="#FNanchor_316_316"><span class="label">[316]</span></a> "Richard, Richard, by the mass I am glad that thou art
+king!"</p></div>
+
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_317_317" id="Footnote_317_317"></a><a href="#FNanchor_317_317"><span class="label">[317]</span></a> A very usual practice in those days. At p. 254 of the
+<i>Northumberland House-hold Book</i> (ed. 1827) we find:&mdash;
+</p>
+<div class="blockquot"><p>"Two Gentlemen waiters for the Bordes Ende and a servaunt betwixt
+theim iii&mdash;Hannsmen and Yonge Gentlemen at their Fryndes fynding v
+(as to say Hanshmen [Henchmen] iii and yong Gentlemen iii)."
+</p><p>
+Orig. and Singer, for <i>trane</i> read <i>trade</i>.</p></div></div>
+
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_318_318" id="Footnote_318_318"></a><a href="#FNanchor_318_318"><span class="label">[318]</span></a> Tricks upon blind persons naturally form a feature in the
+jest books. The eighty-third adventure of Tyl Owlglass is a practical
+joke on a blind man, and in <i>Scoggin's Jests</i>, 1626, there are one or
+two examples.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_319_319" id="Footnote_319_319"></a><a href="#FNanchor_319_319"><span class="label">[319]</span></a> A cheat or rogue. See Rowland's <i>Knave of Clubbs</i>, 1600
+(Percy Soc. ed. p. 18). The word <i>Shifter</i> is employed by Rowlands in
+the <i>Knave of Harts</i>, 1613, and by others of our elder writers in the
+same sense. In the following passage, shift is used to signify a piece
+of knavery:&mdash;
+</p><p>
+<span style="margin-left: 1em;"><i>"Ferd.</i> Brother, you lie; you got her with a <i>shift</i>.</span><br />
+</p><p>
+<span style="margin-left: 1em;"><i>Frank.</i> I was the first that lov'd her."</span><br />
+</p>
+<p>
+Heywood's <i>Fair Maid of the Exchange</i>, 1607 (Shakesp. Soc. ed. p. 87).
+</p><p>
+See also Taylor's <i>Works</i>, 1630, ii. 144. In his <i>Sculler</i>, 1612, the
+last mentioned writer introduces a sharper into one of his epigrams
+under the name <i>of Mounsieur Shift</i>, "cozen-german to Sir Cuthert
+<i>Theft</i>" (<i>Works</i>, iii. 25).</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_320_320" id="Footnote_320_320"></a><a href="#FNanchor_320_320"><span class="label">[320]</span></a> Antiently, no doubt, Long Lane ran between hedges into
+Smithfield; but it appears that even in the early part of Elizabeth's
+reign building had commenced in this locality. Stow (<i>Survey of London</i>,
+edit. 1720, lib. iii. p. 122) says:&mdash;"Long Lane, so called from its
+length, coming out of <i>Aldersgate Street</i> against <i>Barbican</i>, and
+falleth into <i>West Smithfield</i>. A Place also of Note for the Sale of
+Apparel, Linnen, and Upholsters Goods, both Secondhand and New, but
+chiefly for old, for which it is of note." See also p. 284 of the same
+book, and Cunningham's <i>Hand Book of London</i>, edit. 1848, <i>in voce</i>,
+with the authorities and illustrations there given. Rowlands, in his
+<i>Letting of Humors Blood in the Head Vein</i>, 1611, Sign. C. 2 <i>verso</i>,
+celebrates this spot as one of the principal haunts of the pawnbrokers.
+In <i>Wits Recreations</i>, 1640 (edit. 1817, p. 109), there is the following
+epigram:&mdash;
+</p><p>
+<span style="margin-left: 1em;">"He which for 's wife a widow doth obtain,</span><br />
+<span style="margin-left: 1em;">Doth like to those that buy clothes in <i>Long Lane</i>,</span><br />
+<span style="margin-left: 1em;">One coat's not fit, another's too too old,</span><br />
+<span style="margin-left: 1em;">Their faults I know not, but th' are manifold."</span><br />
+</p>
+<p>
+Day, in the <i>Parliament of Bees</i>, 1641, 4<sup>0</sup>, Sign. C, speaks very
+disrespectfully of the population of Long Lane in his time. See
+<i>Maroccus Extaticus</i>, 1595 (Percy Soc. ed. p. 16), Dekker's <i>Knights'
+Conjuring</i>, 1607, ed. Rimbault, p. 54. Webster's Works, by Hazlitt, i.
+94. and Taylor's Works, 1630, Sign. Ggg4. The <i>Swan</i> Inn has
+disappeared, but whether it has merged in the <i>Barley Mow</i>, or the <i>Old
+Red Cow</i>, I do not know.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_321_321" id="Footnote_321_321"></a><a href="#FNanchor_321_321"><span class="label">[321]</span></a> Nearest.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_322_322" id="Footnote_322_322"></a><a href="#FNanchor_322_322"><span class="label">[322]</span></a> The original reading is, <i>so while they were doying</i>.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_323_323" id="Footnote_323_323"></a><a href="#FNanchor_323_323"><span class="label">[323]</span></a> Innkeeper. This form of the word continued to be used by
+English writers even in the later half of the seventeenth century.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_324_324" id="Footnote_324_324"></a><a href="#FNanchor_324_324"><span class="label">[324]</span></a> Perhaps this, like Makeshift, was merely intended as a
+phrase to disguise the real name of the person intended.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_325_325" id="Footnote_325_325"></a><a href="#FNanchor_325_325"><span class="label">[325]</span></a> Northumberland <i>Alley</i> was in Fenchurch Street, and was
+notorious for bowling-greens, gaming-houses, &amp;c. Probably this is the
+locality intended. See Cunningham's <i>Handbook to London</i>. 596 edit.
+1848.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_326_326" id="Footnote_326_326"></a><a href="#FNanchor_326_326"><span class="label">[326]</span></a> <i>i.e.</i> a burlesque play.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_327_327" id="Footnote_327_327"></a><a href="#FNanchor_327_327"><span class="label">[327]</span></a> Orig. and Singer read <i>man</i>.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_328_328" id="Footnote_328_328"></a><a href="#FNanchor_328_328"><span class="label">[328]</span></a> Aldersgate. In the <i>Ordinary</i>, by W. Cartwright, Moth the
+Antiquary says:&mdash;
+</p><p>
+<span style="margin-left: 1em;">"Yclose by <i>Aldersgate</i> there dwelleth one</span><br />
+<span style="margin-left: 1em;">Wights clypen <i>Robert Moth</i>; now <i>Aldersgate</i></span><br />
+<span style="margin-left: 1em;">Is hotten so from one that <i>Aldrich</i> hight;</span><br />
+<span style="margin-left: 1em;">Or else of Elders, that is, ancient men;</span><br />
+<span style="margin-left: 1em;">Or else of Aldern trees which growden there;</span><br />
+<span style="margin-left: 1em;">Or else, as Heralds say, from <i>Aluredus</i>."</span><br />
+</p>
+</div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_329_329" id="Footnote_329_329"></a><a href="#FNanchor_329_329"><span class="label">[329]</span></a> Inns were not so plentiful at this time as they afterward
+became. Perhaps the establishment here referred to was the celebrated
+<i>Bell</i> Inn, which was still standing in the time of James the First, and
+which is mentioned by Taylor the Water-Poet in his <i>Penniless
+Pilgrimage</i>, 1618 (<i>Works</i>, 1630, i. 122):&mdash;
+</p><p>
+<span style="margin-left: 1em;">"At last I took my latest leave, thus late</span><br />
+<span style="margin-left: 1em;">At the Bell Inn, that's <i>extra</i> Aldersgate."</span><br />
+</p>
+</div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_330_330" id="Footnote_330_330"></a><a href="#FNanchor_330_330"><span class="label">[330]</span></a> <i>i.e.</i> it were a charity to thruste, &amp;c. The original and
+Singer have, "it were almes <i>it</i> thruste."</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_331_331" id="Footnote_331_331"></a><a href="#FNanchor_331_331"><span class="label">[331]</span></a> In the original this is printed as prose, perhaps to
+economize space. <i>Array</i>, or <i>araye</i>, as it is here spelled, signifies
+obviously disturbance or clamour. So in the <i>History of King Arthur</i>,
+1634, Part iii. cap. 134:&mdash;"So in this rumour came in Sir Launcelot, and
+found them all at a great aray;" and the next chapter commences with,
+"Aha! what aray is this? said Sir Launcelot."</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_332_332" id="Footnote_332_332"></a><a href="#FNanchor_332_332"><span class="label">[332]</span></a> Probably the cup bequeathed by Sir Martin Bowes to the
+Goldsmiths' Company, and still preserved, is here meant. See
+Cunningham's <i>Handbook of London</i>, art. <i>Goldsmiths' Hall</i>, and for some
+account of the Bowes family, which intermarried with that of D'Ewes, see
+<i>Autobiography and Correspondence of Sir Simonds D'Ewes</i>, ii. 17, 18. It
+seems to have been a rather common practice formerly to engrave figures
+of Saints, representations of the Passion, &amp;c. on the bottom of drinking
+cups.&mdash;See Rowlands' <i>Knave of Clubbs</i>, 1600. (Percy Soc. repr. p. 64.)</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_333_333" id="Footnote_333_333"></a><a href="#FNanchor_333_333"><span class="label">[333]</span></a> In the same manner that he inquired of others, &amp;c.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_334_334" id="Footnote_334_334"></a><a href="#FNanchor_334_334"><span class="label">[334]</span></a> This is related differently in Plutarch. "Now <i>Agesilaus</i>
+being arrived in <span class="smcap">&AElig;gypt</span>, all the chiefe Captaines and Governors of King
+<i>Tachos</i> came to the seashore, and honourably received him: and not they
+onely, but infinite numbers of &AElig;gyptians of all sorts ... came thither
+from all parts to see what manner of man he was. But when they saw no
+stately traine about him, but an olde gray-beard layed on the grasse by
+the sea side, a litle man that looked simply of the matter, and but
+meanely apparelled in an ill-favored thread-bare gowne: they fell
+a-laughing at him, remembring the merry tale, that a mountaine,"
+&amp;c.&mdash;North's <i>Plutarch</i>, edit 1603, fol. 629-30.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_335_335" id="Footnote_335_335"></a><a href="#FNanchor_335_335"><span class="label">[335]</span></a> Remuneration.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_336_336" id="Footnote_336_336"></a><a href="#FNanchor_336_336"><span class="label">[336]</span></a> To persuade by reasoning.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_337_337" id="Footnote_337_337"></a><a href="#FNanchor_337_337"><span class="label">[337]</span></a> Turning by force of ingenuity.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_338_338" id="Footnote_338_338"></a><a href="#FNanchor_338_338"><span class="label">[338]</span></a> Owed.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_339_339" id="Footnote_339_339"></a><a href="#FNanchor_339_339"><span class="label">[339]</span></a> See Lane's <i>Arabian Tales and Anecdotes</i>, 1845, p. 73,
+for a story similar to this.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_340_340" id="Footnote_340_340"></a><a href="#FNanchor_340_340"><span class="label">[340]</span></a> This story is applied by Richard Johnson, editor of the
+<i>Pleasant Conceits of Old Hobson the Merry Londoner</i>, 1607, 4<sup>to</sup>, to his
+own purposes. Johnson was an unscrupulous appropriator.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_341_341" id="Footnote_341_341"></a><a href="#FNanchor_341_341"><span class="label">[341]</span></a> The obstacle to the matter.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_342_342" id="Footnote_342_342"></a><a href="#FNanchor_342_342"><span class="label">[342]</span></a> This tale is followed by the colophon, which is:
+Imprinted at London in Fletestrete, by Henry Wykes. Cum priuilegio ad
+imprimendum solum.</p></div>
+
+
+</div>
+
+<p class="center">Transcriber's note:<br />
+
+Spelling, and hyphenation are as in the original.<br />
+
+[=m] - represents an 'm' with an overstrike.<br />
+
+Italic markup has been placed exactly as in the original.</p>
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+<pre>
+
+
+
+
+
+End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Shakespeare Jest-Books;, by Unknown
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+</body>
+</html>
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+The Project Gutenberg EBook of Shakespeare Jest-Books;, by Unknown
+
+This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with
+almost no restrictions whatsoever.  You may copy it, give it away or
+re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included
+with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org
+
+
+Title: Shakespeare Jest-Books;
+       Reprints of the Early and Very Rare Jest-Books Supposed
+       to Have Been Used by Shakespeare
+
+Author: Unknown
+
+Editor: W. Carew Hazlitt
+
+Release Date: August 27, 2009 [EBook #29821]
+
+Language: English
+
+Character set encoding: ASCII
+
+*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK SHAKESPEARE JEST-BOOKS; ***
+
+
+
+
+Produced by David Edwards and the Online Distributed
+Proofreading Team at https://www.pgdp.net (This book was
+produced from scanned images of public domain material
+from the Google Print project.)
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+  Old English Jest-Book.
+
+  VOL. I.
+
+
+
+
+  Shakespeare Jest-Books;
+
+  REPRINTS OF THE EARLY
+  AND VERY RARE JEST-BOOKS SUPPOSED TO
+  HAVE BEEN USED BY SHAKESPEARE.
+
+  A Hundred Mery Talys,
+  FROM THE ONLY KNOWN COPY.
+
+  II.
+
+  Mery Tales and Quicke Answeres,
+  FROM THE RARE EDITION OF 1567.
+
+  _Edited, with Introduction and Notes._
+
+  BY
+
+  W. CAREW HAZLITT,
+
+  OF THE INNER TEMPLE, BARRISTER-AT-LAW.
+
+          ----_That I was disdainful,--and that
+  I had my good wit out of the Hundred Merry Tales._
+
+  BEATRICE, in Much Ado about Nothing.
+
+  LONDON: WILLIS & SOTHERAN, 136, STRAND.
+
+  MDCCCLXIV.
+
+
+
+
++ A C. mery
+
+Talys.
+
+
+
+
+The Table.
+
+                                                                    PAGE
+
+  + _Of him that said there were but two commandementes._
+  i.                                                                  11
+
+  + _Of the wyfe who lay with her prentys and
+  caused him to beate her husbande disguised
+  in her rayment._ ii                                                 12
+
+  + _Of John Adroyns in the dyuyls apparell._ iii.                    14
+
+  + _Of the Ryche man and his two sonnes._ iv.                        18
+
+  + _Of the Cockolde who gained a Ring by his
+  iudgment._ v.                                                       19
+
+  + _Of the scoler that gave his shoes to cloute._ vi.                20
+
+  + _Of him that said that a womans tongue was
+  lightest of digestion._ vii.                                      _ib._
+
+  + _Of the Woman that followed her fourth husbands
+  bere and wept._ viii.                                               21
+
+  + _Of the Woman that sayd her woer came to
+  late. ix._                                                          22
+
+  + _Of the Mylner with the golden thombe._ x.                        23
+
+  + _Of the horseman of Irelande that prayde
+  Oconer for to hange up the frere._ xi.                            _ib._
+
+  + _Of the preest that sayd nother Corpus meus
+  nor Corpum meum._ xii.                                              26
+
+  + _Of the two freres whereof the one loued nat the
+  ele heed nor the other the tayle._ xiii.                            27
+
+  + _Of the welche man that shroue hym for brekynge
+  of hys faste on the fryday._ xiv.                                   28
+
+  + _Of the merchaunte of London that dyd put
+  nobles in his mouthe in hys dethe bedde._ xv.                       30
+
+  + _Of the mylner that stale the nuttes of the
+  tayler that stale a shepe._ xvi.                                    31
+
+  + _Of the foure elementes where they should sone
+  be founde._ xvii.                                                   36
+
+  + _Of the woman that poured the potage in the
+  iudges male._ xviii.                                                37
+
+  + _Of the wedded men that came to heuen to
+  clayme theyr herytage._ xix.                                        39
+
+  + _Of the merchaunte that charged his sonne to
+  fynde one to synge for hys soule._ xx.                              40
+
+  + _Of the mayde wasshynge clothes that answered
+  the frere._ xxi.                                                    42
+
+  + _Of the thre wyse men of Gotam._ xxii.                           _ib._
+
+  + _Of the graye frere that answered his penytente._
+  xxiii.                                                              43
+
+  + _Of the gentylman that bare the sege borde on
+  hys necke._ xxiv.                                                   44
+
+  + _Of the merchantes wyfe that sayd she wolde
+  take a nap at a sermon._ xxv.                                       47
+
+  + _Of the woman that said and she lyued another
+  yere she wolde haue a cockoldes hatte of her
+  owne._ xxvi.                                                        48
+
+  + _Of the gentylman that wysshed his tothe in
+  the gentylwomans tayle._ xxvii.                                   _ib._
+
+  + _Of the Welcheman that confessyd hym howe he
+  had slayne a frere._ xxviii.                                        49
+
+  + _Of the Welcheman that coude nat gette but a
+  lytell male._ xxix.                                                 50
+
+  + _Of the gentyll woman that sayde to a gentyll
+  man ye haue a berde aboue and none benethe._
+  xxx.                                                                51
+
+  + _Of the frere that sayde our Lorde fed fyue M.
+  people with iii fysshys._ xxxi.                                     52
+
+  + _Of the frankelyn that wold haue had the frere
+  gone._ xxxii.                                                       53
+
+  + _Of the prest that sayd Our Lady was not so
+  curyous a woman._ xxxiii.                                           54
+
+  + _Of the good man that sayde to his wyfe he had
+  euyll fare._ xxxiv.                                                 55
+
+  + _Of the frere that bad his childe make a laten._
+  xxxv.                                                             _ib._
+
+  + _Of the gentylman that asked the frere for his
+  beuer._ xxxvi.                                                      56
+
+  + _Of the thre men that chose the woman._ xxxvii.                 _ib._
+
+  + _Of the gentylman that taught his cooke the
+  medycyne for the tothake._ xxxviii.                                 58
+
+  + _Of the gentylman that promysed the scoler of
+  Oxford a sarcenet typet._ xxxix.                                    60
+
+  + _Of mayster Skelton that broughte the bysshop
+  of Norwiche ii fesauntys._ xl.                                      62
+
+  + _Of the yeman of garde that sayd he wolde bete
+  the carter._ xli.                                                   65
+
+  + _Of the fole that saide he had leuer go to hell
+  than to heuen._ xlii.                                               66
+
+  + _Of the plowmannys sonne that sayde he sawe
+  one to make a gose to creke swetely._ xliii.                        67
+
+  + _Of the maydes answere that was wyth chylde._
+  xliv.                                                             _ib._
+
+  + _Of the seruaunt that rymyd with hys mayster._
+  xlv.                                                                68
+
+  + _Of the Welcheman that delyuered the letter to
+  the ape._ xlvi.                                                     69
+
+  + _Of hym that solde ryght nought._ xlvii.                          71
+
+  + _Of the frere that tolde the thre chyldres fortunes._
+  xlviii.                                                             72
+
+  + _Of the boy that bare the frere his masters
+  money._ xlix.                                                       74
+
+  + _Of Phylyp Spencer the bochers man._ l.                           75
+
+  + _Of the courtear and the carter._ li.                             76
+
+  + _Of the yong man that prayd his felow to teche
+  hym hys paternoster._ lii.                                          77
+
+  + _Of the frere that prechyd in ryme expownynge
+  the ave maria._ liii.                                               78
+
+  +  _Of the curat that prechyd the Artycles of the
+  Crede._ liv.                                                        80
+
+  + _Of the frere that prechyd the x commaundementis._
+  lv.                                                                 82
+
+  + _Of the wyfe that bad her husbande ete the
+  candell fyrste._ lvi.                                               84
+
+  + _Of the man of lawes sonnes answer._ lvii.                      _ib._
+
+  + _Of the frere in the pulpet that bad the woman
+  leve her babelynge._ lviii.                                         85
+
+  + _Of the Welcheman that cast the Scotte into the
+  see._ lix.                                                          86
+
+  + _Of the man that had the dome wyfe._ lx.                          87
+
+  + _Of the Proctour of Arches that had the lytel
+  wyfe._ lxi.                                                         89
+
+  + _Of ii nonnes that were shryuen of one preste._
+  lxii.                                                             _ib._
+
+  + _Of the esquyer that sholde haue ben made
+  knight._ lxiii.                                                     91
+
+  + _Of hym that wolde gette the maystrye of his
+  wyfe._ lxiv. .                                                      92
+
+  + _Of the penytent that sayd the shepe of God
+  haue mercy vpon me._ lxv.                                           93
+
+  + _Of the husbande that sayd he was John daw._
+  lxvi.                                                               94
+
+  + _Of the scoler of Oxforde that proued by souestry
+  ii chykens iii._ lxvii.                                             95
+
+  + _Of the frere that stale the podynge._ lxviii.                    97
+
+  + _Of the frankelyns sonne that cam to take
+  orders._ lxix.                                                      98
+
+  + _Of the husbandman that lodgyd the frere in
+  his own bede._ lxx.                                                 99
+
+  + _Of the preste that wolde say two gospels for a
+  grote._ lxxi.                                                      100
+
+  + _Of the coutear that dyd cast the frere ouer the
+  bote._ lxxii.                                                      101
+
+  + _Of the frere that prechyd what mennys sowles
+  were._ lxxiii.                                                    _ib._
+
+  + _Of the husbande that cryed ble vnder the bed. _lxxiv.           102
+
+  + _Of the shomaker that asked the colyer what
+  tydynges in hell._ lxxv.                                           103
+
+  + _Of Seynt Peter that cryed cause bobe._ lxxvi.                   104
+
+  + _Of hym that aduenturyd body and soule for
+  hys prynce._ lxxvii.                                               105
+
+  + _Of the parson that stale the mylners elys._ lxxviii.            106
+
+  + _Of the Welchman that saw one xl's better
+  than God._ lxxix.                                                 _ib._
+
+  + _Of the frere that said dyryge for the hoggys
+  soule._ lxxx.                                                     _ib._
+
+  + _Of the parson that sayde masse of requiem for
+  Crystes soule._ lxxxi.                                             108
+
+  + _Of the herdeman that sayde: ryde apace, ye
+  shall haue rayn._ lxxxii.                                          109
+
+  + _Of hym that sayde: I shall haue neuer a peny._
+  lxxxiii.                                                           110
+
+  + _Of the husbande that sayde his wyfe and he
+  agreed well._ lxxxiv.                                              111
+
+  + _Of the prest that sayde Comede episcope._ lxxxv.               _ib._
+
+  + _Of the woman that stale the pot._ lxxxvi. .                     112
+
+  + _Of mayster Whyttyntons dreme._ lxxxvii. .                       113
+
+  + _Of the prest that killed his horse called
+  modicus._ lxxxviii.                                                114
+
+  + _Of the Welcheman that stale the Englysshmans
+  cocke._ lxxxix.                                                    115
+
+  + _Of hym that brought a botell to a preste._ xc.                 _ib._
+
+  + _Of the endytement of Jesu of Nazareth._ xci.                    116
+
+  + _Of the frere that preched agaynst them that
+  rode on the Sonday._ xcii.                                         117
+
+  + _Of the one broder that founde a purs._ xciii.                   118
+
+  + _Of the answere of the mastres to the mayde._
+  xciv.                                                              119
+
+  + _Of the northern man that was all harte._ xcv.                  _ib._
+
+  + _Of the burnynge of olde John._ xcvi.                           _ib._
+
+  + _Of the courtear that ete the hot custarde._ xcvii.              121
+
+  + _Of the thre pointes belonging to a shrewd
+  wyfe._ xcix.                                                       122
+
+  + _Of the man that paynted the lamb upon his
+  wyfes bely._ c.                                                    123
+
+
+
+
+INTRODUCTION.
+
+
+When a small impression of these quaint old books issued from the
+Chiswick Press, many years ago, under the auspices of the late Mr. S. W.
+Singer, that gentleman merely designed the copies struck off for
+presentation to a select circle of literary friends who, like himself,
+felt a warm interest in every relic of the past which helped to
+illustrate Shakespeare and ancient English manners. He did not
+consequently feel under the necessity of furnishing notes, and he
+preserved not only the old orthography, but the old punctuation, and the
+most palpable errors of the press. His edition unfortunately laboured
+under one disadvantage: when he printed, in 1814, the _Mery Tales and
+Quick Answers_ from Berthelet's edition, he imagined that this was the
+book to which Beatrice is made to allude in _Much Ado About Nothing_,
+and under this idea he christened the volume _Shakespeare's Jest Book_.
+He also thought he was safe in assuming that the edition by Berthelet
+was the only one extant. But Mr. Singer discovered, before his
+undertaking was a year old, that he had come to an erroneous conclusion
+on both these points: for an impression of the _Mery Tales, &c._ printed
+by Henry Wykes in 1567, and containing, with all the old matter,
+twenty-six additional stories, was brought under his notice, and about
+the same time a totally unknown work, bearing the very title mentioned
+by Beatrice, was accidentally rescued from oblivion by the Rev. J. J.
+Conybeare, who, it is said by Dunlop, picked up the treasure at a
+bookstall. This was no other than A C. MERY TALYS.
+
+The copy of _C. Mery Talys_ thus casually brought to light, had been
+used by a binder of or about the time of its appearance as pasteboard to
+another book, and it was in this state when it fell in the way of Mr.
+Conybeare. As might have been expected, many of the leaves were damaged
+and mutilated; but (which rendered the matter still more curious) it
+happily chanced that _more than one copy_ had been employed by the
+aforesaid binder in fashioning the aforesaid pasteboard, and the
+consequence was that a much larger fragment than would have been
+otherwise saved was formed by means of duplicate leaves. Still several
+gaps in the text remained, which it was found impossible to fill up, and
+as no other copy has since occurred, no better means exist now than
+existed fifty years ago of supplying the deficiencies. Where the hiatus
+consisted of a word or two only, and the missing portion could be
+furnished by conjecture, Mr. Singer took the liberty of adding what
+seemed to be wanting, in italics; his interpolations have been left as
+they stood. The old orthography and language, besides the charm of
+quaintness, appeared to the editor to possess a certain philological
+value, and he has rigidly adhered to it. In respect to the punctuation,
+the case was different; there were no reasons of any kind for its
+retention; it was very imperfect and capricious; and it has therefore
+been modernized throughout.
+
+The _C. Mery Talys_, of which the copy above described has a fair
+pretention to the distinction of uniqueness, were first printed by John
+Rastell, without date but circa 1525, in folio, 24 leaves. Whether
+Rastell printed more than one edition is an open question. The book was
+not reprinted, so far as we know at present, till 1558, when John Walley
+or Waley paid two shillings to the Stationers' Company for his licence
+to produce this and other pieces. Walley reprinted a great number of
+books which had originally come from the press of Wynkyn de Worde and
+other early masters of the art, but it is not very likely that the _C.
+Mery Talys_ made their appearance prior to 1525, and there is room to
+doubt whether even then the severe reflections on the scandalous lives
+of the Roman Catholic priesthood were not slightly premature. The almost
+total destruction of copies may be, after all, due, not to the excessive
+popularity of the publication, but to its early suppression by authority
+or otherwise. After the triumph of the Reformation, and until the death
+of Edward VI. however, although these tales still remained as
+unpalatable as ever to a certain party, there was nothing to hinder
+their circulation, and that there were intermediate impressions between
+that from Rastell's press, and the one licensed to Walley,[1] if not
+printed by him, is not at all improbable. The _C. Mery Talys_ were
+subsequently and successively the property of Sampson Awdley and John
+Charlwood, to the latter of whom they were licensed on the 15th January,
+1582. All trace of editions by Walley, Awdley, or Charlwood, has
+disappeared, although doubtless all three printed the work.
+
+Of the MERY TALES AND QUICKE ANSWERES, which forms the second portion of
+the present volume, only two impressions are known. One of these,
+supposed to be the original, was printed by Thomas Berthelet, without
+date (about 1535), in 4to.; it contains 114 anecdotes. The other, from
+the press of Henry Wykes, bears the date 1567, and is in the duodecimo
+form; it produces with tolerable exactness the text of Berthelet, and
+has twenty-six new stories. Besides these, at least one other impression
+formerly existed: for, in 1576-7, Henry Bynneman paid to the Stationers'
+Company fourpence "and a copie" for "a booke entituled mery tales,
+wittye questions, and quycke answers."[2] No copy of Bynneman's edition
+has hitherto been discovered; a copy of that of 1567 was in the Harleian
+library. At the sale of the White-Knights collection in 1819, Mr. George
+Daniel of Canonbury gave nineteen guineas for the exemplar of
+Berthelet's undated 4to, which had previously been in the Roxburghe
+library, and which at the dispersion of the latter in 1812, had fetched
+the moderate sum of 5_l._ 15_s._ 6_d._
+
+The reader who is conversant with this class of literature will easily
+recognise in the following pages many stories familiar to him either in
+the same, or in very slightly different, shapes; a few, which form part
+of the _Mery Tales and Quick Answers_, were included in a collection
+published many years since under the title of _Tales of the Minstrels_.
+No. 42 of the _Mery Tales and Quick Answers_ was perhaps at one time
+rather popular as a theme for a joke. There is an Elizabethan ballad
+commencing, "ty the mare, tom-boy, ty the mare," by William Keth, which
+the editor thought, before he had had an opportunity of examining it,
+might be on the same subject; but he finds that it has nothing whatever
+to do with the matter.[3] It may also be noticed that the story related
+of the king who, to revenge himself on God, forbade His name to be
+mentioned, or His worship to be celebrated throughout his dominions, is
+said by Montaigne, in one of his essays, to have been current in his
+part of France, when he was a boy. The king was Alfonso xi of Castile.
+No. 68 of _A C. Mery Talys_, "Of the Friar that stole the Pudding," is
+merely an abridgment of the same story, which occurs in _Tarltons Newes
+out of Purgatorie_, where it is told of the "Vickar of Bergamo." Many
+of the jests in these two pamphlets are also to be found in _Scoggins
+Jests_, licensed in 1565; a few occur in the _Philosopher's Banquet_,
+1614; and one--that where the lady ties a string to her toe as a signal
+to her lover--is repeated at greater length in the "Cobler of
+Canterbury," edit. 1608, where it is called "the old wives' tale." It
+would be a curious point to ascertain whether the anecdotes common to
+these collections and to "_Scoggin's Jests_," do not refer to the same
+person; and whether Scoggin is not in fact the hero of many of the
+pranks attributed to the "Scholar of Oxford," the "Youngman," the
+"Gentleman," &c. in the following pages, which were in existence many
+years before the first publication of _Scoggins Jests_. It will hardly
+be contested at the present day, that "books of the people,"[4] like
+these now reprinted, with all their occasional coarseness and frequent
+dulness, are of extreme and peculiar value, as illustrations of early
+manners and habits of thought.
+
+The editor has ventured to make certain emendations of the text, where
+they were absolutely necessary to make it intelligible; but these are
+always carefully noted at the foot of the page where they occur. A word
+or two, here and there, has been introduced between brackets to complete
+the sense; and a few notes have been given, since it was thought
+desirable to point out where a tale was common to several collections in
+various shapes or in the same shape, to indicate the source from which
+it was derived, and to elucidate obscure phrases or passages. But he has
+refrained from overloading the book with comment, from a feeling that,
+in the majority of cases, the class of readers, to which a publication
+such as this addresses itself, are fully as competent to clear up any
+apparent difficulties which may fall in their way, as himself.
+
+The allusions to the _C. Mery Talys_ and to its companion in old writers
+are sufficiently numerous.[5]
+
+Bathe, in his _Introduction to the Art of Musick_, 1584, says: "But for
+the worthiness I thought it not to be doubted, seeing here are set forth
+a booke of a hundred mery tales, another of the bataile between the
+spider and the flie, &c." A few years later, Sir John Harington, in his
+_Apologie_(for the _Metamorphosis of Ajax_) 1596, writes: "Ralph Horsey,
+Knight, the best housekeeper in Dorsetshire, a good freeholder, a
+deputie Lieutenant. Oh, sir, you keep hauks and houndes, and hunting
+horses: it may be som madde fellowe will say, you must stand up to the
+chinne, for spending five hundred poundes, to catch hares, and
+Partridges, that might be taken for five poundes." Then comes this note
+in the margin: "according to the tale in the hundred Mery Tales." It is
+No. 57. In the Epilogue to the play of _Wily Beguild_, printed in 1606,
+but written during the reign of Elizabeth, there is a passage in which
+the _C. Mery Talys_ are coupled with _Scoggins Jests_, and in his
+_Wonderful yeare_, 1603, Decker says: "I could fill a large volume, and
+call it the second part of the _Hundred Merry Tales_, only with such
+ridiculous stuff as this of the justice." From this extract, first
+quoted by Mr. Collier in his valuable History of the Drama, and from the
+manner in which Shakespeare, through the mouth of Beatrice, speaks of
+the _Mery Talys_, it is to be gathered that neither writer held this
+book of jests in very high estimation; and, as no vestiges are traceable
+of an edition of the work subsequent to 1582, it is possible that about
+that time the title had grown too stale to please the less educated
+reader, and the work had fallen into disrepute in higher quarters. The
+stories themselves, in some shape or other, however, have been
+reproduced in every jest-book from the reign of Elizabeth to the
+Restoration, while many of them multiply themselves even to the present
+day in the form of chap books.
+
+_A C. Mery Talys_ was one of the popular tracts described by the
+pedantic Laneham, in his _Letter from Kenilworth_, 1575, as being in the
+Library of Captain Cox, of Coventry.[6]
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[1] Walley obtained his licence or the _C. Mery Talys_ in 1557-8, during
+the reign of Mary, perhaps in anticipation of a change in the
+government, and in order to forestall other stationers. If Walley
+printed the Tales, it is most likely that he waited, till Elizabeth came
+to the throne.
+
+[2] Collier's Extracts from the Reg. Stat. Co. ii. 25.
+
+[3] An abridgment of this ballad was published in Ritson's _Ancient
+Songs and Ballads_, 1829, ii. 31. But see the _Townley Catalogue_, No.
+358.
+
+[4] The elder Disraeli has a chapter on this subject in his _Amenities
+of Literature_.
+
+[5] For some of these notices I am indebted to Mr. Singer; others I have
+added myself from the various sources.
+
+[6] In Act v. Sc. iii of Fletcher's _Nice Valour_ (Dyce's B. & F. x.
+361) there is mention of the _Hundred Novels_, alluding, not to the _C.
+Mery Talys_, but to the _Decameron_ of Boccaccio, of which an English
+translation appeared in 1620-5.
+
+
+
+
+A C.
+
+MERY TALYS.
+
+
+
+
++ _Of hym that said there were but two commandementes._ i.
+
+
++ A certayne Curate in the contrey there was that _preched_ in the
+pulpet of the ten comaundementys, sayeng _that_ there were ten
+commaundementes that euery man _should_ kepe, and he that brake any of
+them commytted syn, howbeit he sayd, that somtyme it was _dedely and_
+somtyme venyal. But when it was dedely syn and whan venyall there were
+many doutes therin. + And a mylner, a yong man, a mad felow that cam
+seldom to chyrch and had ben at very few sermons or none in all his
+lyfe, answered hym than shortely this wyse: I meruayl, master person,
+that ye say there be so many commaundementes and so many doutes: for I
+neuer hard tell but of two commaundementes, that is to saye, commaunde
+me to you and commaunde me fro you. Nor I neuer harde tell of more
+doutes but twayn, that ys to say, dout the candell and dout the fyre.[7]
+At which answere all the people fell a laughynge.
+
+By this tale a man may well perceyue that they, that be brought vp
+withoute lernynge or good maner, shall neuer be but rude and bestely,
+all thoughe they haue good naturall wyttes.
+
+
+
+
++ _Of the wyfe who lay with her prentys and caused him to beate her
+husbande disguised in her rayment._ ii.
+
+
++ A wyfe there was, which had apoynted her prentys to com to her bed in
+the nyght, which seruaunt had long woed her to haue his plesure; which
+acordyng to the apoyntement cam to her bed syde in the night, her
+husbande lyenge by her. And whan she perceyuyd him there, she caught hym
+by the hande and helde hym fast, and incontynent wakened her husbande,
+and sayde: 'syr, it is so ye haue a fals and an vntrue seruant, which is
+Wylliam your prentys, and hath longe woyd me to haue his pleasure; and
+because I coulde not auoyde his importunate request, I haue apoynted
+hym this nyght to mete me in the gardeyne in the herber; and yf ye wyll
+aray your selfe in myn aray and go theder, ye shall see the profe
+therof; and than ye may rebuke hym as ye thynk best by your dyscrecyon.
+This husbande, thus aduertysed by hys wyfe, put upon him his wyue's
+rayment and went to the herber; and whan he was gone thyder the prentys
+cam in to bed to his mastres; where for a season they were bothe content
+and plesyd ech other by the space of an hour or ii; but whan she
+thoughte tyme conuenient, she said to the prentyse: now go thy way into
+the herber, and mete hym and tak a good waster[8] in thy hand, and say
+thou dyd it but to proue whether I wold be a good woman or no; and
+reward him as thou thinkyst best. This prentys doyng after his mastres
+councell went in to the herber, where he found his master in his
+mastres' apparell and sayd: A! thou harlot, art thou comen hether? now I
+se well, if I wod be fals to my master, thou woldest be a strong hore;
+but I had leuer thou were hangid than I wold do him so trayterous a ded:
+therefor I shall gyve the som punyshment as thou lyke an hore hast
+deseruyd and therewith lapt him well about the sholders and back, and
+gaue him a dosen or ii good stripes. The master, felyng him selfe
+somwhat to smarte, sayde: peace, Willyam, myn own trew good seruant; for
+Goddis sake, _holde thy_ handes: for I am thy mayster and not thy
+maystres. Nay, hore, quod _he, thou knowest_ thou art but an harlot, and
+I dyd but to proue the; and smote him agayn. _Hold! Hold!_ quod the
+mayster, I beseech the, no more: for I am not she: for I am thy
+_mayster_, for I haue a berde; and therwith he sparyd hys hand and felt
+his berd. Good mayster, quod the prentyse, I crye you mercy; and then
+the mayster went unto hys wyfe; and she askyd hym how he had sped. And
+he answeryd; I wys, wyfe, I haue been shrewdly betyn; howbeit I haue
+cause to be glad: for I thank God I haue as trew a wyfe and as trew a
+seruant as any man hath in Englonde.[9]
+
+By thys tale ye may se that yt ys not wysdome for a man to be rulyd
+alway after his wyuys councell.
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[7] _i.e._ do out. It is, perhaps, scarcely necessary to mention that in
+French, the term _commander_ has a double signification, _to command_
+and _to commend_. In our language, the two words are of course distinct;
+hence the jest.
+
+[8] Cudgel.
+
+
+
+
++ _Of John Adroyns in the dyuyls apparell._ iii.
+
+
++ It fortunyd that in a market towne in the counte of Suffolke there was
+a stage play, in the which play one, callyd John Adroyns which dwellyd
+in a nother vyllage ii myle from thens, playde the dyuyll. And when the
+play was done, thys John Adroyns in the euynyng departyd fro the sayde
+market towne to go home to hys own house. Because he had there no change
+of clothying, he went forth in hys dyuylls apparell, whych in the way
+comyng homeward cam thorow a waren of conys[10] belongyng to a gentylman
+of the vyllage, wher he him self dwelt. At which tyme it fortunyd a
+preste, a vycar of a churche therby, with ii or iii other vnthrifty
+felows, had brought with them a hors, a hey[11] and a feret to th'entent
+there to get conys; and when the feret was in the yerth, and the hey set
+ouer the pathway where thys John Adroyns shuld come, thys prest and hys
+other felows saw hym come in the dyuyls rayment. Consideryng that they
+were in the dyuyls seruyce and stelyng of conys and supposyng it had ben
+the deuyll in dede, [they] for fere, ran away. Thys John Adroyns in the
+dyuyls rayment, an' because[12] it was somewhat dark, saw not the hay,
+but went forth in hast and stomblid therat and fell doun, that with the
+fal he had almost broken his nek. But whan he was a lytyll reuyuyd, he
+lookyd up and spyed it was a hay to catch conys, and [he] lokyd further
+and saw that they ran away for fere of him, and saw a horse tyed to a
+bush laden wyth conys whych they had taken; and he toke the horse and
+the haye and lept upon the horse and rode to the gentylmannys place that
+was lorde of the waren to the entente to haue thank for takynge suche a
+pray. And whan he came, [he] knokyd at the gatys, to whome anone one of
+the gentylmanny's seruauntys askyd who was there and sodeinly openyd the
+gate; and assone as he percyuyd hym in the deuyls rayment, [he] was
+sodenly abashyd and sparryd the dore agayn, and went in to his mayster
+and sayd and sware to his mayster, that the dyuell was at the gate and
+wolde come in. The gentylman, heryng him say so, callyd another of his
+seruauntys and bad him go to the gate to knowe who was there. Thys
+seconde seruant [that] came to the gate durst not open it but askyd wyth
+lowd voyce who was there. Thys John Adroyns in the dyuyls aparell
+answeryd wyth a hye voyce and sayd: tell thy mayster I must nedys speke
+with hym or[13] I go. Thys seconde seruaunt heryng * *
+
+  _8 lines of the original are wanting._
+
+the deuyll indede that is at the gate syttynge vpon an _horse laden
+with_ soules; and be lykelyhode he is come for your soule. Purpos _ye_
+to _let him have your_ soule and if he had your soule I wene he shulde
+be _gon_. _The gentyl_man, than, meruaylously abasshed, called his
+chaplayne _and sayd: let a can_dell be light, and gette holy water; and
+[he] wente to the gate _with as manye ser_uantes as durste go with him;
+where the chaplayne with _muche con_iuracyon sayd: in the name of the
+father, sonne and holy _ghost, I commande_ and charge the in the holy
+name of God to tell me _wherefore thou_ comeste hyther. + This John
+Adroynes in the deuylls _apparell_, seying them begynne to coniure after
+such maner, sayd: nay, _feare not_ me; for I am a good deuyll; I am John
+Adroynes your neyghboure in this towne and he that playde the deuyll to
+day in the playe. I _bryng_ my mayster a dosen or two of his owne conyes
+that were stolen in _dede_ and theyr horse and theyr haye, and [I] made
+them for feare to ronne _awaye_. Whanne they harde hym thus speke by his
+voyce, [they] knewe him well, and opened the gate and lette hym come in.
+And so all the foresayd feare was turned to myrthe and disporte.
+
+By this tale ye may se that men feare many tymes more than they nede,
+whiche hathe caused men to beleue that sperytes and deuyls haue ben sene
+in dyuers places, whan it hathe ben nothynge so.
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[9] This story is merely the latter portion of the seventh novel of the
+Seventh Day of the Decameron; but Boccaccio tells it somewhat
+differently. It may also he found in the _Pecorone_ of Ser. Giovanni
+Fiorentino, and in _A Sackful of Newes_. 1673 (a reprint of a much older
+edition). In the latter there are one or two trifling particulars not
+found here.
+
+[10] A rabbit-warren.
+
+[11] Net, Fr. _haie_.
+
+[12] In orig. _and because_.
+
+[13] _i.e._ ere, before.
+
+
+
+
++ _Of the ryche man and his two sonnes._ iv.
+
+
++ There was a ryche man whiche lay sore sycke in his bedde to _deth_.
+_There_fore his eldest sonne came to hym, and besechyd him to gyue _him
+hys_ blessyng, to whome the father sayde: sonne, thou shalt haue Goddes
+blessyng and myne; and because thou hast ben euer good of condicyons, I
+_giue and_ bequethe the all my lande. To whome he answered and sayd: nay
+father, I truste you shall lyue and occupy them your selfe full well by
+Goddes grace. Sone after came another sonne to him lyke wyse and desyred
+his blessyng, to whome the father said: my sonne, thou hast been euer
+kynde and gentyll; I gyue the Goddes blessyng and myne; and I bequethe
+the all my mouable goodes. To whome he answered and said: nay father, I
+trust you shall lyue and do well and spende and vse your goodes
+_yourself_ * * * *
+
+  _8 Lines wanting._
+
+--_By this tale_ men may well perceyue that yonge people that * * * * *
+* * theyr frendes counsell in youthe in tymes * * * * * full ende.
+
+
+
+
++ _Of the cockolde who gained a ring by his iudgment._ v.
+
+
++ _Two gentylmen_ of acquoyntaunce were apoynted to lye with a
+gentylwoman both in one nyght, the one nat knowynge of the other, at
+_dyuers houres_. + Thys fyrste at hys houre apoynted came, and in the
+_bedde chanced_ to lese a rynge. The seconde gentylman, whanne he _came
+to bedde_, fortuned to fynde the same rynge, and whan he hadde _stayde
+som tyme_ departed. And two or thre dayes after, the fyrste gentylmanne
+_saw hys_ rynge on the others fynger, and chalenged it of hym and he
+_refused it_, and badde hym tell where he had loste it: and he sayd: in
+suche a _gentylwo_mans bedde. Than quod the other: and there founde I
+it. And the _one gentylman_ wolde haue it and the other said he shulde
+nat. Than they agreed _to be decyded_ by the nexte man that they dyd
+mete. And it fortuned them to _mete_ the husbande of the said gentyll
+woman and desyred hym of his _iudg_ment, shewynge hym all the hole
+mater. Than quod he: by my iud_gmente, he t_hat ought[14] the shetes
+shulde haue the rynge. Than quod they: and _for your_ good iudgement you
+shall haue the rynge.
+
+
+
+
++ _Of the scoler that gave his shoes to cloute._ vi.
+
+
++ In the Uniuersyte of Oxeforde there was a scoler that delyted moche to
+speke eloquente englyssshe and curious termes, and came to the cobler
+with his shoes whyche were pyked before (as they used that tyme), to
+have them clouted, and sayde this wyse: Cobler, I praye the sette _two
+try_angyls and two semycercles vpon my subpedytales, and I shall
+_paye_ the for thy laboure. The cobeler, because he vnderstoode hym nat
+halfe, answered shortely and sayde: syr, your eloquence passeth myne
+intelly_gence_. But I promyse you, yf he meddyll with me the clowtynge
+of youre _shoon_ shall cost you thre pens.
+
+By this tale men may lerne, that it is foly to study to speke eloquently
+before them, that be rude and vnlerned.
+
+
+
+
++ _Of hym that said that a womans tongue was lightest of digestion._
+vii.
+
+
++ A certayn artificer in London there was, whyche was sore _seke and_
+coulde not well dysgest his meat. To whom a physicyon ca_m to give_ hym
+councell, and sayd that he must vse to ete metis that be light _of
+dig_estyon and small byrdys, as sparowes, swalowes, and specyally that
+byrd _which is_ called a wagtayle, whose flessh is meruelouse lyght of
+dygestyon, _bycause that_ byrd is euer mouying and styryng. The sekeman,
+herynge the phesicion _say so_, answered hym and seyd: sir, yf that be
+the cause that those byrdes be lyght of dygestyon, than I know a mete
+moch lyghter of dygestyon than other[15] sparow swallow or wagtaile, and
+that is my wyues tong, for it is neuer in rest but euer meuying[16] and
+sterryng.
+
+By this tale ye may lerne a good generall rule of physyke.
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[14] Owned. In _Northward Hoe_, 1607, by Decker and Webster, act i.
+scene i., the writers have made use of this story. See Websters' Works,
+edit. Hazlitt, i. 178-9.
+
+
+
+
++ _Of the woman that followed her fourth husbands bere and wept._ viii.
+
+
++ A woman there was which had had iiii husbandys. It fourtuned also that
+this fourth husbande dyed and was brought to chyrche vpon the bere; whom
+this woman folowed and made great mone, and waxed very sory, in so moche
+that her neyghbours thought she wolde swown and dye for sorow. Wherfore
+one of her gosseps cam to her, and spake to her in her ere, and bad her,
+for Godds sake, comfort her self and refrayne that lamentacion, or ellys
+it wold hurt her and perauenture put her in ieopardy of her life. To
+whom this woman answeryd and sayd: I wys, good gosyp, I haue grete
+cause to morne, if ye knew all. For I haue beryed iii husbandes besyde
+this man; but I was neuer in the case that I am now. For there was not
+one of them but when that I folowed the corse to chyrch, yet I was sure
+of an nother husband, before the corse cam out of my house, and now I am
+sure of no nother husband; and therfore ye may be sure I haue great
+cause to be sad and heuy.
+
+By thys tale ye may se that the olde prouerbe ys trew, that it is as
+great pyte to se a woman wepe as a gose to go barefote.
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[15] either.
+
+[16] moving.
+
+
+
+
++ _Of the woman that sayd her woer came too late._ ix.
+
+
++ Another woman there was that knelyd at the mas of requiem, whyle the
+corse of her husbande lay on the bere in the chyrche. To whome a yonge
+man cam and spake wyth her in her ere, as thoughe it had ben for som
+mater concernyng the funerallys; howe be it he spake of no suche matter,
+but onely wowyd her that he myght be her husbande to whom she answered
+and sayde thus: syr, by my trouthe I am sory that ye come so late, for I
+am sped all redy. For I was made sure yesterday to another man.
+
+By thys tale ye maye perceyue that women ofte tymes be wyse and lothe to
+lose any tyme.
+
+
+
+
++ _Of the mylner with the golden thombe._[17] x.
+
+
++ A marchaunt that thought to deride a mylner seyd vnto the mylner
+syttynge amonge company: sir, I haue harde say that euery trew mylner
+that tollyth trewlye hathe a gylden thombe. The myllner answeryd and
+sayde it was true. Than quod the marchant: I pray the let me se thy
+thombe; and when the mylner shewyd hys thombe the marchant sayd: I can
+not perceyue that thy thombe is gylt; but it is as all other mens
+thombes be. To whome the mylner answered and sayde: syr, treuthe it is
+that my thombe is gylt; but ye haue no power to se it: for there is a
+properte euer incydent _vnto it_, that he that is a cockolde shall neuer
+haue power to se it.[18]
+
+
+
+
++ _Of the horseman of Irelande that prayde Oconer for to hange up the
+frere._ xi.
+
+
++ One whiche was called Oconer, an Yrysshe lorde, toke an horsman
+prisoner that was one of hys great enmys whiche for any request or
+entrety that the horsman made gaue iugement that he sholde incontynent
+be hanged, and made a frere to shryue hym and bad hym make hem redy to
+dye. Thys frere that shroue him examyned hym of dyuers synnes, and asked
+him amonge other whiche were the gretteste synnes that euer he dyd. This
+horsman answered and sayd: one of the greatest actys that euer I dyd
+whiche I now most repent is that, whan I toke Oconer the last weke in a
+chyrche, and there I myght haue brennyd[19] hym chyrche and all, and
+because I had conscience and pyte of brennyng of the chyrche, I taryed
+the tyme so long, that Oconer escaped; and that same deferrynge of
+brennynge of the chyrche and so longe taryeng of that tyme is one of the
+worst actes that euer I dyd wherof I moste[20] repent. This frere
+perceuynge hym in that mynde sayde: peace in the name of God, and change
+thy mynde and dye in charite, or els thou shalt neuer come in heuen.
+Nay, quod the horsman, I wyll neuer chaunge that mynde what so euer
+shall come to my soule. Thys frere perceyuynge hym thus styl contynew
+his minde, cam to Oconer and sayde: syr, in the name of God, haue some
+pyte vppon this mannys sowle, and let hym not dye now, tyl he be in a
+beter mynde. For yf he dye now, he is so ferre out of cheryte, that
+vtterly his soule shall be dampned, and [he] shewyd hym what minde he
+was in and all the hole mater as is before shewyd. Thys horsman, herynge
+the frere thus intrete for hym, sayd to Oconer thus: Oconer, thou seest
+well by thys mannys reporte that, yf I dye now, I am out of charyte and
+not redy to go to heuen; and so it is that I am now out of charyte in
+dede; but thou seest well that this frere is a good man and he is now
+well dysposed and in charyte and he is redy to go to heuen, and so am
+not I. Therfore I pray the hang vp this frere, whyle that he is redy to
+go to heuen and let me tary tyl another tyme, that I may be in charyte
+and redy and mete to go to heuen. Thys Oconer, herying thys mad answere
+of hym, sparyd the man and forgaue hym hys lyfe at that season.
+
+By thys ye may se, that he that is in danger of hys enmye that hath no
+pite, he can do no beter but shew to hym the vttermost of his malycyous
+mynde whych that he beryth to ward hym.
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[17] See Brand's _Popular Antiquities_, edit. 1849, iii. 387.
+
+[18] The reverse of the Somersetshire saying. The proverb is well known:
+"An honest miller hath a golden thumb;" but to this the Somersetshire
+folks add, "none but a cuckold can see it."
+
+[19] Burned.
+
+[20] orig. reads _muste_.
+
+
+
+
++ _Of the preest that sayd nother corpus meus nor corpus meum._ xii.
+
+
++ The archdekyn of Essex[21] that had ben longe in auctorite, in a tyme
+of vysytacyon, whan all the prestys apperyd before hym, called asyde iii
+of the yonge prestys which were acusyd that thy could not wel say theyr
+dyvyne seruyce, and askyd of them when they sayd mas, whether they sayd
+corpus meus or corpum meum. The fyrst prest sayde that he sayd corpus
+meus. The second sayd that he sayd corpum meum. And than he asked of the
+thyrd how he sayde; whyche answered and sayd thus: syr, because it is so
+great a dout and dyuers men be in dyuers opynyons: therfore because I
+wolde be sure I wolde not offende, whan I come to the place I leue it
+clene out and say nothynge therfore. Wherfore the bysshoppe than openly
+rebuked them all thre. But dyuers that were present thought more defaut
+in hym, because he hym selfe beforetyme had admytted them to be prestys.
+
+By this tale ye may se that one ought to take hede how he rebukyth an
+other lest it torne moste to his owne rebuke.
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[21] Richard Rawson was Archdeacon of Essex from 1503 to 1543, and was
+perhaps the person here intended. See Le Neve's _Fasti_, ed. Hardy, ii.
+336.
+
+
+
+
++ _Of two freres whereof the one loued nat the ele heed nor the other
+the tayle._ xiii.
+
+
++ Two freres satte at a gentylmans tabyll, whiche had before hym on a
+fastyng day an ele and cut the hed of the ele and layd it vpon one of
+the frerys trenchars; but the frere, bycause he wold haue had of the
+middle parte of the ele, sayd to the gentylman he louyd no ele hedes.
+Thys gentylman also cut the tayle of the ele, and layde it on the other
+frerys trenchar. He lyke wyse, because he wolde haue had of the myddle
+parte of the ele, sayde he loued no ele tayles. This gentylman,
+perceuynge that, gaue the tayle to hym that sayd he louyd not the hed,
+and gaue the hed to hym that sayd he loued not the tayle. And as fore
+the myddell part of the ele, he ete parte hym selfe and parte he gaue to
+other folke at the table; wherfore these freres for anger wolde ete
+neuer a morsell, and so they for al theyr craft and subtylte were not
+only deceyued of the best morsell of the ele, but thereof had no parte
+at all.
+
+By this ye se that they that couet the best parte somtyme therfore lese
+the meane parte and all.
+
+
+
+
++ _Of the welche man that shroue hym for brekynge of hys faste on the
+fryday._ xiv.
+
+
++ A Welcheman, dwellynge in a wylde place of Walys, cam to hys curate in
+the tyme of Lente and was confessyd; and when hys confessyon was in
+maner at the end, the curate askyd hym, and[22] he had any other thyng
+to say that greuyd his conscience. Which sore abasshid answered no worde
+a great whyle; at last by exhortacyon of his goostly fader he sayde that
+there was one thyng in his mynde that greatly greued his conscyence,
+which he was asshamed to vtter: for it was so greuous that he trowed God
+wold neuer forgyue hym. To whom the curate answerd and sayd, that Goddes
+mercy was aboue all, and bad hym not dyspayre in the mercy of God. For
+what so euer it was, yf he were repentant, that God wolde forgyue hym. +
+And so by longe exortacyon at the last he shewyd it and seyde thus. Syr,
+it happenyd ones that, as my wyfe was makynge a chese vpon a Fryday, I
+wolde fayne haue sayed whether it had ben salt or fresshe, and toke a
+lytyll of the whey in my hande, and put it in my mouthe; and or[23] I
+was ware, parte of it went downe my throte agaynst my wyll and so I
+brake my faste. To whom the curate sayde: and if there be non other
+thynge, I warant God shall forgyue the. So whan he had well comforted
+hym with the mercy of God, the curate prayed hym to answere a questyon
+and to tell hym trueth; and when the welchman had promysed to tell the
+truth, the curate sayd that there were robberyes and murders done nye
+the place where he dwelte and diuers men found slayn; and asked hym
+whether _he knew ought_ poyntynge[24] to any of them. To whom he
+answeryd and sayd yes and sayd _he had ben priuye_ to many of them, and
+dyd helpe to robe and to slee dyuers of them. _Then the_ curate asked
+hym, why he dyd not conffesse hym therof. The Welshman _answeryd_ and
+sayde he toke that for no synne: for it was a custome amongest _them
+that_, when any boty cam of any ryche merchant rydyng, that it was but a
+_trewe_ neyboure dede one to help another when one callyd another; and
+so they _held it_ but for good felowshyp and neyghbourhood.
+
+_Here_ maye ye se that some haue remorse of conscyence of small venyall
+_sinnis and_ fere not to do gret offencys without shame of the
+worled[25] or drede of _God_; and, as the comon prouerbe is, they
+stumble at a strawe and lepe ouer a blocke.
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[22] if.
+
+[23] before.
+
+[24] appertaining or relevant.
+
+[25] World.
+
+
+
+
++ _Of the merchaunte of London that dyd put nobles in his mouthe in hys
+dethe bedde._ xv.
+
+
++ A ryche couetous marchant there was that dwellid in London, which euer
+gaderyd mony and could neuer fynd in hys hert to spend ought _vpon_ hym
+selfe nor vpon no man els. Whiche fell sore syke, and as he laye on hys
+deth bed had his purs lyenge at his beddys hede, and [he] had suche a
+loue to his money that he put his hande in his purs, and toke out therof
+x or xii li. in nobles and put them in his mouth. And because his wyfe
+and other perceyued hym very syke and lyke to dye, they exortyd hym to
+be confessyd, and brought the curate vnto hym. Which when they had
+caused him to say Benedicite, the curate bad hym crye God mercy and
+shewe to hym his synnes. Than this seyck man began to sey: I crey God
+mercy I haue offendyd in the vii dedly synnes and broken the x
+commaundementes; but[26] because of the gold in his mouth he muffled so
+in his speche, that the curate could not well vnderstande hym: wherfore
+the curat askyd hym, what he had in his mouthe that letted his spech. I
+wys, mayster parsone, quod the syke man, muffelynge, I haue nothyng in
+my mouthe but a lyttle money; bycause I wot not whither[27] I shal go, I
+thought I wold take some spendynge money with me: for I wot not what
+nede I shall haue therof; and incontynent after that sayeng dyed, before
+he was confessyd or repentant that any man coulde perceyue, and so by
+lyklyhod went to the deuyll.
+
+By this tale ye may se, that they that all theyr lyues wyll neuer do
+charyte to theyr neghbours, that God in tyme of theyr dethe wyll not
+suffre them to haue grace of repentaunce.
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[26] Orig. reads _and_: _but_ seems to be required.
+
+
+
+
++ _Of the mylner that stale the nuttes of the tayler that stale a
+shepe._ xvi.
+
+
++ There was a certayne ryche husbandman in a vyllage, whiche louyd
+nuttes meruelously well and sette trees of fylberdes and other nutte
+trees in his orcharde, and norysshed them well all his lyfe; and when he
+dyed he made his executours to make promyse to bery with him in his
+graue a bagge of nuttes, or els they sholde not be his executours;
+which executours, for fere of lesynge of theyre romes[28] fulfylled his
+mynde and dyd so. It happenyd that, the same nyghte after that he was
+beryed, there was a mylner in a whyte cote cam to this mannes garden to
+the entent to stele a bagge of nuttes; and in the way he met wyth a
+tayler in a black cote, an vnthrift of hys acquayntance, and shewyd hym
+hys intent. This tayler lykewyse shewyd hym, that he intendyd the same
+tyme to stele a shepe; and so they bothe there agred to go forwarde
+euery man seuerally wyth hys purpose; and after that they apoynted to
+make god chere eche wyth other and to mete agayn in the chyrch porch,
+and he that cam fyrste to tarye for the other. This mylner, when he had
+spede of hys nuttys, came furst to the chyrch porch, and there taryed
+for hys felow, and the mene whyle satte styll there and knakked nuttes.
+It fortuned than the sexten of the church, because yt was about ix of
+the cloke, cam to ryng curfue; and whan he lokyd in the porche and sawe
+one all in whyte knakkynge nuttes he had wente[29] it had bene the dede
+man rysyn owt of hys graue, knakkynge the nuttes that were beryed wyth
+hym, and ran home agayne in all hast and tolde to a krepyll that was in
+his house what he had sene. Thys crepyll, thus herynge hym, rebuked the
+sexten and sayd that yf he were able to go he wolde go thyder and
+coniure the spyryte. By my trouthe, quod the sexten, and yf thou darest
+do that, I wyll bere the on my neck; and so they both agreed. The sexten
+toke the creple on his nek, and cam in to the chyrchyarde again, and the
+mylner in the porch seeing[30] one comynge beryng a thynge on his necke
+had went[31] it had ben the tayler comynge with the shepe, and rose vp
+to mete them. And as he cam towarde them, he askyd and sayd: is he fat,
+is he fat? The sexten, heryng hym sey so, for fere cast the crepull down
+and sayd: fatte or lene, take hym as he is; and ranne awaye; and the
+creple by myracle was made hole, and ran away as fast as he or faster.
+Thys mylner perceyuyng that they were two, and that one ran after an
+other, thoughte that one had spyed the tayler stelyng the shepe, and
+that he had ron after hym to haue taken hym; and fearyng that one had
+spyed hym also stelynge the nuttes, he for feare lefte hys nuttes behynd
+him; and as secretly as he cowde ran home to hys myll. And anon after
+that he was gone, the tayler cam wyth the stolen shepe vppon hys necke
+to the chyrche to seke the mylner; and whan he fownde there the nutte
+shalys,[32] he supposyd that his felow had ben ther and gone home, as he
+was in dede; wherfore he toke vp the shepe agayne on his necke, [and]
+went towarde the myll. But yet durynge this while, the sexten which
+ranne away went not to hys owne house, but went to the parysh prestys
+chamber, and shewyd hym how the spyryt of the man was rysen out of hys
+graue knacking nuttes, as ye haue hard before; wherfore the prest sayd
+that he wolde go coniure hym, yf the sexten wolde go wyth hym; and so
+they bothe agreed. The prest dyd on hys surples and a stole about hys
+necke, and toke holy water wyth hym, and cam wyth the sexten toward the
+church; and as sone as he entred in the chyrche yard, the talyer wyth
+the whyte shepe on hys neck intendyng, as I before haue shewyd yow, to
+go downe to the myll, met with them, and had went that the prest in his
+surples had ben the mylner in his whyte cote, and seyd to hym: by God! I
+haue hym, I haue hym! meanynge thereby[33] the shepe that he had stolen.
+The prest, perceyuynge the tayller all in blake and a whyte thynge on
+hys nek, had went it had ben the deuyll beryng away the spyryte of the
+dede man that was beryed, and ran away as fast as he coude, takyng the
+way down towarde the myl, and the sexten ronnyng after hym. Thys tayler,
+seying one folowyng hym, had went that one had folowed the mylner to
+haue done hym som hurt, and thought he wold folow, if nede were to help
+the milner; and went forth, tyl he cam to the mill and knocked at the
+myll dore. The mylner beynge wythin asked who was there. The tayler
+answeryd and sayd: by God! I haue caught one of them, and made hym sure
+and tyed hym fast by the legges. But the mylner, heryng him sey that he
+had hym tyed fast by the legges, had went it had ben the constable, that
+had taken the tayler for stelyng of the shepe, and had tyed hym by the
+legges; and ferid that he had come to haue taken hym also for stelynge
+of the nuttes: wherfore the mylner opened a bak dore, and ran away as
+fast as he could. The tayler, herynge the backe dore openynge, wente to
+the other syde of the myll, and there saw the mylner ronnyng away, and
+stode ther a lytyll whyle musyng wyth the shepe on his necke. Then was
+the parysshe preest and the sexten standynge there vnder the mylhouse
+hydyng them for fere, and seeing[34] the tayler agayn with the shepe on
+hys nek, had wende styll it had ben the deuyll wyth the spyryt of the
+dede man on[35] hys nek, and for fere ran awaye; but because they knew
+not the grounde well, the preste lepte into a dyche almoste ouer the hed
+lyke to be drownyde, that he cryed wyth a loude voyce: help, helpe! Than
+the tayler lokyd about, and seeing[36] the mylner ronne away and the
+sexten a nother way, and hearing[37] the preste creye helpe, had went it
+had ben the constable wyth a great company cryeng for helpe to take him
+and to bring hym to pryson for stelyng of the shepe: wherfore he threwe
+down the shepe and ran away another way as fast as he coud: and so euery
+man was afferd of other wythout cause.
+
+By thys ye may se well, it is foly for any man to fere a thyng to moche,
+tyll that he se some profe or cause.
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[27] Orig. reads _whether_.
+
+[28] Places or appointments. This is one of the best stories of the kind
+in the present or any other collection, in our own or other languages.
+The construction is excellent.
+
+[29] Weened (guessed).
+
+[30] Orig. reads _saw_.
+
+[31] weened.
+
+[32] shells.
+
+[33] In orig. _by_.
+
+[34] Orig. reads _saw_.
+
+
+
+
++ _Of the foure elementes where they shoulde sone be founde._ xvii.
+
+
++ In the old world when all thyng could speke, the iiii elementys[38]
+mette to geder for many thynges whych they had to do, because they must
+meddell alway one wyth a nother, and had communicacion to gyder of
+dyuers maters; and by cause they coulde not conclude all theyr maters at
+that season, they appoyntyd to breke communicacion for that tyme and to
+mete agayne another tyme. Therfore eche one of them shewed to other
+where theyr most abydyng was and where theyr felows shoulde fynde them,
+yf nede shuld requyre; and fyrste the erthe sayde: bretherne, ye knowe
+well as for me I am permanent alway and not remouable; therfore ye may
+be sure to haue me alway whan ye lyste. The wather sayde: yf ye lyst to
+seke me, ye shall be sure to haue me under a toft of grene rushes or
+elles in a womans eye. The wynde sayde: yf ye lyst to speke wyth me, ye
+shall be sure to haue me among aspyn leuys or els in a womans tong. Then
+quod the fyre: yf any of you lyst to seke me, ye shall euer be sure to
+fynd me in a flynt stone er elles in a womans harte.
+
+By thys tale ye may lerne as well the properte of the iiii elementys as
+the properteis[39] of a woman.
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[35] Orig. reads _of_.
+
+[36] The orig. _saw_.
+
+[37] Orig. _hard_, i.e. _heard_.
+
+[38] There is perhaps an allusion here to the _Interlude of the Four
+Elements_, supposed to have been printed about 1510 by John Rastell.
+
+
+
+
++ _Of the woman that poured the potage in the iudges male._ xviii.
+
+
++ There was a iustyce but late in the reame of England callyd master
+Vavesour,[40] a uery homely man and rude of condycyons, and louyd neuer
+to spend mych money. Thys master Vauysour rode on a tyme in hys
+cyrcuyte in the northe contrey, where he had agreed wyth the sheryf for
+a certain some of money for hys charges thorowe the shyre, so that at
+euery inne and lodgynge this master Vauysour payd for hys owne costys.
+It fortunyd so, that when he cam to a certayn lodgyng he comaunded one
+Turpyn hys seruant to se that he used good husbondry[41] and to saue
+suche thynges as were left and to cary it wyth hym to serue hym at the
+nexte baytynge. Thys Turpyn, doyng hys maystres commandement, toke the
+broken bred, broken mete and all such thyng that was left, and put it in
+hys maysters cloth sak. The wyfe of the hous, perceyuing that he toke
+all suche fragmentys and vytayle wyth hym that was left, and put it in
+the cloth sake, she brought vp the podage that was left in the pot; and
+when Turpyn had torned hys bake a lytyl asyde, she pouryd the podage in
+to the cloth sake, whych ran vpon hys robe of skarlet and other of hys
+garmentys and rayed[42] them very euyll, that they were mych hurt
+therwyth. Thys Turpyn, sodeynly turnyng[43] hym and seeing[44] it,
+reuyled the wyfe therfore, and ran to hys mayster and told hym what she
+had don: wherfore master Vauesour incontinent callyd the wyf and seyd to
+her thus: thou drab, quod he, what hast thow don? why hast thou pourd
+the podage in my cloth sake and marrd my rayment and gere? O, syr, quod
+the wyfe, I know wel ye ar a iudge of the realme, and I perceyue by you
+your mind is to do ryght and to haue that is your owen; and your mynd is
+to haue all thyng wyth you that ye haue payd for, both broken mete and
+other thynges that is left, and so it is reson that ye haue; and
+therfore be cause your seruant hath taken the broken mete and put it in
+your cloth sak, I haue therin put the potage that be left, because ye
+haue wel and truly payed for them. Yf I shoulde kepe ony thynge from you
+that ye haue payed for, paraduenture ye wold troble me in the law a
+nother tyme.
+
+Here ye may se, that he that playth the nygarde to mych, som tyme it
+torneth him to hys owne losse.
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[39] Orig. reads _properte is_.
+
+[40] _Vide infra._
+
+[41] economy.
+
+[42] defiled, from Fr. _rayer_, to shine and give light, as the rays of
+the sun, and thence to streak with lines of dirt, and so to soil. The
+word is not common. See Nares art _ray_ (edit. 1859), and Cotgrave art
+_rayer_ (edit. 1650).
+
+[43] Orig. reads _turnyd_.
+
+[44] Orig. reads _saw_.
+
+
+
+
++ _Of the wedded men that came to heuen to clayme theyr herytage._ xix.
+
+
++ A certayn weddyd man there was whyche, whan he was dede, cam to heuen
+gates to seynt Peter, and sayd he cam to clayme hys bad heretage whyche
+he had deseruyd. Saynt Peter askyd hym what he was, and he sayd a
+weddyd man. Anon Saynt Peter openyd the gatys, and bad hym to com in,
+and sayde he was worthye to haue hys herytage, bycause he had had much
+troble and was worthye to haue a crowne of glory. Anon after there cam a
+nother man that claymyd heuen, and sayd to Seynt Peter he had hade ii
+wyues, to whom Saynt Peter answered and said: come in, for thou art
+worthy to haue a doble crown of glory: for thou hast had doble trouble.
+At the last there cam the thyrd, claymynge hys herytage and sayde to
+Saynt Peter that he had had iii wyues, and desyryd to come in. What!
+quod Saynt Peter, thou hast ben ones in troble and thereof delyueryd,
+and than wyllingly woldyst be troblyd again, and yet agayne therof
+delyueryd; and for all that coulde not beware the thyrde tyme, but
+enterest wyllyngly in troble agayn: therfore go thy waye to Hell: for
+thou shalt neuer come in heuen: for thou art not worthy.
+
+Thys tale is a warnyng to them that haue bene twyse in paryll to beware
+how they come therin the thyrd tyme.
+
+
+
+
++ _Of the merchaunte that charged his sonne to fynde one to synge for
+hys soule._ xx.
+
+
++ A ryche marchant of London here was, that had one sonne that was
+somewhat vnthryfty. Therfore hys fader vppon hys deth bed called hym to
+hym, and sayde he knew well that he had ben vnthryfty; how be it, yf he
+knew he wold amend hys condycyons he wolde make hym hys executour and
+leue hym hys goods, so that he wolde promyse hym to pray for hys soule
+and so fynde one dayly to syng for hym: which thyng to performe hys
+sonne there made a faythfull promyse. After that this man made hym hys
+executour, and dyed. But after that hys sonne kept such ryot, that in
+short tyme he had wasted and spente all, and had nothynge left but a
+henne and a cocke that was his fader's. It fortunyd than that one of hys
+frendys came to hym, and sayd he was sory that he had wasted so moch,
+and askyd hym how he wolde performe hys promyse made to hys fader that
+he wolde kepe one to syng for hym. Thys yong man answered and sayde: by
+God! yet I wyll performe my promyse: for I wyll kepe this same cocke
+alyue styl, and he wyl krow euery day, and so he shall synge euery day
+for my faders soule; and so I wyl performe my promyse wel ynough.
+
+By thys ye maye se, that it is wysdome for a man to do good dedys hym
+selfe, whyle he is here, and not to trust to the prayer and promyse of
+hys executours.
+
+
+
+
++ _Of the mayde wasshynge clothes that answered the frere._ xxi.
+
+
++ There was a mayde stode by a reuers syde in her smoke,[45] wasshynge
+clothes, and as she stouped ofttymes, her smocke cleued betune her
+buttockkes. By whome there cam a frere, seynge[46] her and sayde in
+sporte: mayde, mayde, take hede: for Bayarde bytes on the brydell.[47]
+Nay, wys [I], master frere, quod the mayden, he doth but wype hys
+mouthe, and wenyth ye wyll come and kysse hym.
+
+By thys ye may se that womans answer is neuer to seke.
+
+
+
+
++ _Of the thre wyse men of Gotam._ xxii.
+
+
++ A certayn man there was dwellynge in a towne called Gotam that went to
+a fayre iii myle for to bye shepe; and as he cam ouer a bryge he met
+with one of hys neyghbours and told hym whether[48] he went, and askyd
+hym whych way he wold bryng them. Whyche sayd he wolde brynge them ouer
+the same bryge. Nay, quod the other man, but thou shalt not, by God!
+quod
+
+  _4 lines of the original are wanting._
+
+_Presently there came a milner, who bore a sack of_[49] mele vpon a
+horse, a neybour of theyrs, and paciently askyd them what was the cause
+of theyr varyaunce; which than she_wyd to hym_ the mater and cause, as
+ye haue harde. Thys thyrde man, the mylner, _beganne_ for to rebuke them
+by a famylyer example, and toke his sacke of mele _from_ his horse backe
+and openyd it, and pouryd all the mele in the sacke ouer the brydge into
+the ronnynge ryuer; wherby all the mele was lost, and sayde thus: by my
+trouthe, neybours, because ye stryue for dryuynge ouer the brydge those
+shepe which be not yet boughte, nor wotte not where they be, me thynketh
+therfore there is euen as moche wytte in your hedes as there is mele now
+in my _sacke_.
+
+Thys tale shewyth you, that som man takyth _upon him for to teche_ other
+men wysdome, when he is but a fole hymselfe.
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[45] smock.
+
+[46] _i.e._ who saw her.
+
+[47] An unregistered proverb, perhaps. The meaning is tolerably clear.
+See _Tarlton's Newes Out of Purgatarie_ (1590). edit. Halliwell, p. 93.
+
+[48] Whither.
+
+
+
+
++ _Of the graye frere that answered his penytente._ xxiii.
+
+
++ A man there was that cam to confesse hym to a _prest and tolde_ hym,
+that he had layne with a yonge gentyll woman. The _prest then_ asked
+hym in what place; and he sayde it was in * * * all nyght longe in a
+soft warme bed. The frere herynge that * * * thys and sayd: Now, by
+swete seynt Francys, then, wast thou very[50] * * *
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[49] I am myself responsible for these few words in italic, which I have
+supplied from conjecture.
+
+
+
+
++ _Of the gentylman that bare the sege borde on hys necke._ xxiv.
+
+
++ A CHANDELER beynge a wydower, dwellynge at Holborne, _neere_ London,
+had a fayr doughter whom a yonge gentelman of Dauys Ynne[51] woyd[52]
+sore to haue hys pleasure of her, whyche by longe sute to her made, at
+the last graunted hym, and poynted hym to com upon a nyghte to her
+faders hous in the euenynge, and she wold conuey hym into her chamber
+secretly, which was an inner chamber within her faders chamber. So
+accordynge to the poyntment all thynge was performed, so that he lay
+wyth her all nyght, and made good chere tell about foure a clocke in the
+mornynge, at whyche tyme it fortunyd this yonge gentylman fell a
+coughynge, whych cam vpon hym so sore that he could not refrayn. Thys
+wench, than fering her fader that lay in the next chamber, bad hym go
+put hys hede in the draught, lest that her fader shold here hym: whych
+after her councel rose in his shyrte, and so dyd. But than because of
+the sauour of the draught it causyd hym to coughe moche more and louder,
+that the wenchys fader herde it, and askyd of hys daughter what man it
+was that coughed in her chamber. She aswered and said: no body. But euer
+this yong man coughed styll more and more, whom the fader herynge sayd:
+by Goddes body! hore, thou lyest; I wyll se who is there;--and rose out
+of his bedde. Thys wenche perceyued her fader rysinge, [and] cam to the
+gentylman and sayde: take hede syr to your selfe: for my fader comyth.
+This gentylman, sodeynly therwyth abasshyd, wolde haue pullyd his hede
+oute of the draughte hole, which was [so] very streyghte for hys hede
+that he pullyd the sege borde vp therwyth, and, [it] hangyng about his
+neck, ran vpon the fader beynge an olde man, and gaue hym a great fall
+and bare _him to the ground_.
+
+  _8 lines wanting._
+
+here was two or thre skyttysh horses whych, when they se this gentylman
+ronnyng, start[ed] asyde and threwe downe the cart wyth colys, and drew
+_backe_ and brake the carte rope, wherby the colys fell out, some in
+one place and _some in_ another; and after the horses brake theyr tracys
+and ranne, some towarde Smythfelde and som toward Newgate. The
+colyar[53] ran after them, and was an houre and more, or[54] euer he
+coulde gette his horses to gyder agayne; by which tyme the people of the
+strete were rysen and cam to the _place_, and saw yt strawyn with colys.
+Euery one for hys parte gaderyd vp _the colys, tyll the_ most parte of
+the colys were gone, or the colyar had got his horses _agayne_. _Duryng
+thys_ whyle the gentylman went thrugh Seynt Andrews _Chyrch Yarde
+towarde_ Dauys Inne, and there met with the sexten commynge to attend to
+_ring the bell for_ morow mas: whych, whan he saw the gentylman in the
+_Chyrche Yarde in hys_ shyrt wyth the draught borde[55] about his neck,
+had wend[56] _it had ben a spryt, and_ cried: alas, alas, a spryt! and
+ran back again to his house almost atte b * * for fere was almoste out
+of his wytte that he was the worse _a long time after_. This gentilman,
+than, because dauys inne gatys were not open, _ranne to the ba_cksyde
+and lept ouer the garden wal; but, in lepyng, the draught-bord so
+troubled hym, that he fell downe into the gardyn and had almoste broken
+his necke: and ther he lay styll, tyll that the pryncypall cam into the
+garden; which, wan he saw hym lye there, had wente some man had ben
+slayne and there caste ouer the wall, and durst not come nye him, tyll
+he had callyd vp hys companye which, when many of the gentylmen[57] wer
+com to gether loked well vppon hym, and knewe hym, and after releuyd
+hym; but the borde that was about hys necke caused his hed so to swell,
+that they coulde not gette it of, tyll they were mynded to cutte it of
+with hatchettys. Thus was the wenche well iaped,[58] and for fere she
+ranne from her fader; her faders arme was hurte; the colyar lost his
+coles; the sexton was almost out of hys wyt; and the gentylman had
+almost broke his necke.
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[50] Perhaps this story, of which we have here a fragment only, was
+similar to the one narrated a little farther on. See Tale 57.
+
+[51] Thavies Inn, near St. Andrew's Church, in Holborn.
+
+[52] wooed.
+
+[53] Orig. reads _that the colyar_.
+
+[54] before.
+
+[55] the seat of the commode.
+
+[56] weened.
+
+
+
+
++ _Of the merchantes wyfe that sayd she wolde take a nap at sermon._
+xxv.
+
+
++ A marchantys wyfe there was in Bowe parysh in London, somewhat slepte
+in age, to whom her mayde cam on a Sonday in Lente after dyner and
+sayde: maystres, quod she, they rynge at Saynte Thomas of Acres, for
+there shall be a sermon prechyd anon; to whome the mastres answered and
+sayde: mary! Goddys blessynge haue thy harte for warnynge me thereof;
+and because I slepte not well all this nyght, I pray the brynge my stole
+to me: for I wyll go thyder to loke, whether I can take a nappe there,
+whyle the preest is prechynge.
+
+By this ye may se, that many one goth to chyrch as moch for other
+thynges as for deuocyon.
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[57] Orig. reads _gentylman_.
+
+[58] mocked, made a jest of. See Nares (edit. 1859) _in voce_.
+
+
+
+
++ _Of the woman that said and she lyued another yere she wolde haue a
+cockoldes hatte of her owne._ xxvi.
+
+  _Of the above tale but a few words remain in the fragment._
+
+
+
+
++ _Of the gentylman that wysshed his tothe in the gentylwomans tayle._
+xxvii.
+
+
++ A gentylman and gentylwoman satte to gyder talkyng, _which gentylman_
+had great pain in one of his tethe, and hapnyd to say _to the
+gentylwo_man thus: I wys, maystres, I haue a tothe in my hede which
+_greuyth me u_ery sore: wherfore I wold it were in your tayl. She,
+heryng him _say this, answe_ryed thus: in good fayth, syr, yf your tothe
+were in my tayle it coulde _do it but lytle_ good; but yf there be any
+thynge in my tayle that can do your tothe good, I wolde it were in your
+tothe.
+
+By this ye may se that a womans answere is seldome to seke.[59]
+
+
+
+
++ _Of the Welcheman that confessyd hym howe he had slayne a frere._
+xxviii.
+
+
++ In the tyme of Lente, a Welcheman cam to be confessyd of his curate;
+whych in his confessyon sayde that he had kylled a frere; to whome the
+curate sayd he coulde nat assoyle hym. Yes, quod the Welchman, yf thou
+knewest all, thou woldest assoyle me well ynoughe; and when the curate
+had commandyd hym to shew hym all the case, he sayd thus: mary, there
+were ii freres; and I myght haue slayn them bothe, yf I had lyst; but I
+let the one scape: therfore mayster curate set the tone agaynst the
+tother, and than the offence is not so great but ye may assoyle me well
+ynoughe.
+
+By this ye may se, that dyuers men haue so euyll and larg conscyence
+that they thynke, yf they do one good dede or refrayn from doynge of one
+euyll synne, that yt ys satysfaccyon for other _synnes_ and ofencys.
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[59] This moral is also attached to Tales 21, 44, and 56, in all which
+cases the lady's rejoinder is not less opposed to modern notions of
+female delicacy.
+
+
+
+
++ _Of the Welcheman that coude nat gette but a lytell male._ xxix.
+
+
++ There was a company of gentylmen[60] in Northamptonshyre which wente
+to hunte for dere in the porlews[61] in the gollet besyde Stony
+Stratford, amonge which gentylmen there was one which had a Welchman to
+his seruante, a good archer; whiche, whan they cam to a place where they
+thought they _should find dere_, apoynted thys Welchman to stand _still,
+and forbade him in_ any wyse to shote at no rascal[62] _dere but to make
+sure of the greate male and_ spare not. Well, quod this Welchman, _I
+will do so_. _Anon cam by many greate dere and_ Rascall; but euer he
+lette them go, and toke no hede to them; and within an houre after he
+saw com rydynge on the hye-waye a man of the contrey, whych had a boget
+hangynge at hys sadyll bowe.[63] And whan this Welcheman had espyed hym,
+he bad hym stande, and began to drawe his bow and bad hym delyuer that
+lytell male that hunge at his sadyll bowe. Thys man, for fere of hys
+lyfe, was glad to delyuer hym hys boget, and so dyd, and than rode hys
+waye, and was glad he was so _escapyd_. And when this man of the
+contrey was gone, thys Welcheman was _very glad_ and wente incontynente
+to seke hys mayster, and at the laste founde hym wyth hys companye; and
+whan he saw hym he came to hym, and sayd thus: mayster, by cottes plut
+and her nayle! I haue stande yonder this two hourys, and I colde se
+neuer a male but a lytell male that a man had hangynge at his sadell
+bow, and thet I haue goten, and lo here it is; and toke his master the
+boget whiche he had taken away from the forsayd man, for the whiche dede
+bothe the mayster and the seruante were afterwarde in greate trouble.
+
+By this ye may lerne, yt is greate folye for a mayster to putte a
+seruaunte to that besynes whereof he can nothynge skyll and wherin he
+hath not ben usyd.
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[60] orig. reads _gentylman_.
+
+[61] purlieus.
+
+[62] a lean beast not worth hunting--_Nares._
+
+[63] The jest here, such as it is, lies in the play on the words male
+(of the deer) and the mail, or post.
+
+
+
+
++ _Of the gentyll woman that sayde to a gentyll man: ye haue a berde
+aboue and none benethe._ xxx.
+
+
++ A yonge gentylman of the age of xx yere, somwhat dysposed to myrth and
+gaye, on a tyme talked wyth a gentylwoman whyche was ryght wyse and also
+mery. Thys gentylwoman, as she talked with hym, happenyd to loke vpon
+hys berde which was but yonge and somewhat growen vpon the ouer lyppe,
+and but lyttell growen benethe as all other yonge mennys berdes comynly
+vse to grow, and sayd to hym thus: syr, ye haue a berde aboue and none
+beneth; and he, herynge her say so sayde in sporte: maystres, ye haue a
+berde beneth and none aboue. Mary, quod she, than set the tone agaynst
+the tother. Which answere made the gentylman so abasshed, that he had
+not one worde to answere.
+
+
+
+
++ _Of the frere that sayde our Lorde fed fyue M. people with iii.
+fysshys._ xxxi.
+
+
++ There was a certayn White Frere whiche was a very glotton and a great
+nyggyn,[64] which had an vngracyouse boy that euer folowed hym and bare
+his cloke, and what for the freres glotony and for his chorlysshnes the
+boy, where he wente, cowlde scante gette meate ynoughe: for the frere
+wolde eate almoste all hym selfe. But on a tyme the frere made a sermone
+in the contry, wherin he touched very many myracles whyche Cryste dyd
+afore hys passyon, amonge which he specyally rehersyd the myracle whyche
+Cryste did in fedynge fyue thousande people with fyue louys of brede and
+with iii lytell fysshes; and this frerys boy which caryd not gretely
+for hys mayster * *, _by reason that_ hys mayster was so great a churle,
+_cryed out aloude_ that all the church harde, and sayd: by _my faith,
+then, there were no_ fryers there! whyche answere made all _the people
+laughe, so_ that for shame the frere wente out of the * * * * * he than
+departyd out of the churche * * * *
+
+By thys ye may se that it is honeste * * depart with suche as he hath to
+them * *
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[64] niggard.
+
+
+
+
++ _Of the frankelyn that wold haue had the frere gone._ xxxii.
+
+
++ A ryche fraynklyn dwellyn in the countie of * * * _had a frere in his_
+house, of whom he could neuer be ryd any _meanes, but he wold tarrye by
+the_ space of a senyght[65] and wold neuer depart; wherfore _the
+franklyn was sore grevud and sadly_ wery of hym. On a tyme as he and hys
+wyfe and this frere _were togydder_, he faynyd hymselfe very angry wyth
+hys wyfe, in somoche that he _smote_ her. Thys frere perseyuyng well
+what they ment sayd * * * I haue bene here this seuenyght whan ye were
+frendys, and _I will tarrye a_ fortenyght lenger but I wyll se you
+frendys agayne, or I depart. _The franklyn_, perceyuynge that he coude
+no good nor wold not depart by none _other meanes_, answeryd hym
+shortely and sayd: by God! frere, but thou shalt abyde here no longer;
+and toke hym by the shulders, and thrust hym out of the dorys of the
+house.
+
+By this ye may se, that he that wyl lerne no good by examples in a maner
+to hym shewyd, is worthy to be taught wyth open rebuke.
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[65] a week.
+
+
+
+
++ _Of the prest that sayd Our Lady was not so curyous a woman._ xxxiii.
+
+
++ In the towne of Bottelley dwellyd a mylner, whiche had a good homely
+wenche to his doughter, whome the curate of the nexte towne louyd, and,
+as the fame went, had her at hys pleasure. But on a tyme thys curat
+prechyd of those curyouse wyues now a dayes, and whether it were for the
+nonys,[66] or whether it cam oute at all aduenturys, he had penyd to say
+thus in hys sermon: ye wyues, ye be so curyous in all your warkes, that
+ye wot not what ye meane, but ye shold folow Oure Lady. For Our Lady was
+nothynge so curyous as ye be; but she was a good homely wenche lyke the
+mylners doughter of Botteley. At whych sayng all the parishons made
+gret laughyng, and specyally they that knew that he louyd that same
+wenche.
+
+By this ye may se, it is gret foly for a man that is suspectyd with any
+person to praise or to name the same parson openly, lest it bryng hym in
+forther sclaunder.
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[66] nonce.
+
+
+
+
++ _Of the good man that sayde to his wyfe he had euyll fare._ xxxiv.
+
+
++ A frere Lymytour[67] come into a pore mannys howse in the countrey,
+and because thys pore man thought thys frere myght do hym some good, he
+therefore thought to make hym good chere. But bycause hys wyfe wold
+dresse hym no good mete for coste, he therfore at dyner tyme sayd thus:
+by God! wyfe, bycause thou dyddest dresse me no good mete to my dyner,
+were it not for mayster frere, thou shouldest haue halfe a dosyn
+strypes. Nay, syr, quod the frere, I pray you spare not for me; wherwyth
+the wyfe was angry, and therfore at souper she caused them to fare wors.
+
+
+
+
++ _Of the frere that had hys chylde make a laten_ xxxv.
+
+
+_But very few words remain of this Tale._
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[67] Mendicant friar.
+
+
+
+
++ _Of the gentylman that asked the frere for his beuer._ xxxvi.
+
+
++ _In the terme_ tyme a good old gentylman, beyng a lawyer, cam to
+Lon_don to the_ terme; and as he cam he hapenyd to ouertake a frere,
+which _was an un_thrift and went alone wythout hys beuer: wherfore this
+_gentylman asked_ thys frere, where was hys beuer that shold kepe hym
+compa_ny, and sayd it was_ contrary to his relygyon to go alone, and it
+wolde cause people to suppose hym to be som apostata or som vnthryft. By
+God, syr, quod the _frere! my beuer_ commaundeth hym unto your
+master-shyp. Why, quod the gentylman, I knowe hym not. Than (quod the
+frere to the gentylman), ye are the more fole to aske for hym.
+
+By thys tale ye may se, that he that geueth counsell to any vnthryft,
+and _tech_eth hym hys dutye, shall haue oftymes but a mock for his
+labour.
+
+
+
+
++ _Of the thre men that chose the woman._ xxxvii.
+
+
++ Thre gentylmen cam into an Inne, where a fayre woman was tapster:
+wherfore, as these thre satte there makynge mery, eche of them kyssed
+her, and made good pastyme and plesure. Howbeit one spake merley[68]
+and sayde: I can not se how this gentylwoman is able to make pastyme and
+pleasure to vs all thre excepte that she were departed in thre partes.
+By my trouthe, quod one of them, yf that she myght be departed, than I
+wolde chuse for my parte her hed and her fayre face, that I myghte alway
+kysse her. Than quod the seconde: I wolde haue the breste and harte: for
+there lyeth her loue. Than quod the thyrd: then ther is nothyng left for
+me but the loynys, buttockes and legges; I am contente to haue it for my
+parte. And whan these gentylmen had passed the tyme there by the space
+of one hour or ii, they toke theyr leue and were goynge awaye; but, or
+the went, the thyrd man whych had chosen the bely and the buttockys did
+kys the tapyster and bad her farewell. What! quod the fyrste man that
+had chosen the face and the mouth, why dost thou so? thou dost me wronge
+to kysse my parte that I haue chosen of her. O! quod the other, I pray
+the be nat angry: for I am contente that thou shal kys my parte for it.
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[68] Merrily.
+
+
+
+
++ _Of the gentylman that taught his cooke the medycyne for the tothake._
+xxxviii.
+
+
++ In Essex there dwellyd a mery gentylman, whyche had a coke callyd
+Thomas that was greatly dysseasyd with the tothake, and complaynyd to
+hys mayster thereof; whych sayd he had a boke of medecins and sayd he
+wold loke vp hys boke to se whether he could fynd any medecyn therin for
+it, and so sent[69] one of hys doughters to hys study for hys boke, and
+incontynent lokyd uppon yt a long season; and than sayd thus to hys
+coke: Thomas, quod he, here is a medesyn for your tothake; and yt ys a
+charm; but yt wyl do you no good except ye knele on your knees, and aske
+yt for Sent Charyte. Thys man, glad to be relesyd of hys payn, kneled
+and sayd: mayster, for Seint Charyte, let me haue that medecyne. Than,
+quod thys gentylman, knele on your knees and say after me; whyche knelyd
+down and sayd after hym as he bad hym. Thys gentylman began and sayd
+thus:--
+
+"The son on the Sonday."
+
+"The son on the Sonday," quod Thomas.
+
+"The mone on the Monday."
+
+"The mone on the Monday."
+
+"The Trynyte on the Tewsday."
+
+"The Trynyte on the Tewsday."
+
+"The wyt on the Wednysday."
+
+"The wyt on the Wednysday."
+
+"The holy holy Thursday."
+
+"The holy holy Thursday."
+
+"And all that fast on Fryday."
+
+"And all that fast on Friday."
+
+"---- in thy mouthe on Saterday."
+
+Thys coke Thomas,[70] heryng hys mayster thus mokkyng hym, in anger
+stert vp and sayd: by Goddys body! mokkyng churle, I wyll neuer do the
+seruyce more; and went forth to hys chamber to gete hys gere to geder to
+thentent to haue gon thens by and by; but what for the anger that he
+toke wyth his mayster for the mok that he gaue hym, and what for labor
+that he toke to geder hys gere so shortly togeder, the payne of the
+tothake went from hym incontynent, that hys mayster cam to hym and made
+hym to tarry styll, and tolde hym that hys charme was the cause of the
+ease of the payne of the tothake.
+
+By thys tale ye may se, that anger oftymes puttyth away the bodely
+payne.
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[69] orig. reads _send_.
+
+[70] orig. reads Thomas coke. In the orig. the text runs on in the above
+passage, which is generally done in old books to save room.
+
+
+
+
++ _Of the gentylman that promysed the scoler of Oxforde a sarcanet
+typet._ xxxix.
+
+
++ A scoler of Oxford latley made Mayster of Art cam in to the cyte of
+London, and in Poulys mette with the sayd mery gentleman of Essex, which
+was euer disposyd to play many mery pageants,[71] wyth whom before he
+had bene of famylyer accoyntaunce and prayd hym to give hym a sercenet
+typet. This gentylman, more lyberall of promyse than of gyfte, grauntyd
+hym he should haue one, yf he wold com to hys lodgyng to the sygne[72]
+of the Bull wythout Byshops gate in the next mornynge at vi of the
+cloke. Thys scoler thankyd hym, and for that nyght departyd to hys
+lodgyng in Flete Strete, and in the mornyng erely as he poyntyd cam to
+hym to the sygne of the Bull. And as [soon as] thys gentylman saw hym,
+he bad hym go wyth hym in to the Cyte, and he sholde be sped anon;
+whyche incontynent went togyder, tyll they[73] cam in to seynt Laurence
+Church in the Jury, where the gentylman espyed a preste raueshyd to
+masse[74] and [he] told the skoller that "yonder is the preste that
+hath the typet for you," and bad hym knele downe in the pew, and he
+shold speke to hym for it. And incontynent thys gentylman went to the
+preest and sayd: syr, here is a skoller, a kynnysman of myne, gretly
+dyseasyed wyth the chyncough.[75] I pray you, whan masse is donne, gyue
+hym iii draughtys of your chales. The preest grantyd hym, and tornyd hym
+to the skoler, and sayd: syr, I shall serue you as sone as I haue sayd
+masse. The skoler than taryed styll and herd the mas, trusting that whan
+the masse was done, that the preste wold giue hym hys typet of sarcenet.
+Thys gentylman in the meane whyle departyd out of the chyrche. Thys
+preste, whan mas was done, putte wyne in the chales, and cam to the
+skoler knelyng in the pew, profferyng hym to drynk of the chales. Thys
+skoler lokyd upon hym, and musyd and sayd: why, master parson, wherfore
+profer ye me the chales? Mary, quod the prest, for the gentylman told me
+ye were dysseasyd with the chyncough, and prayd me therfor that for a
+medecyne ye might drynk of the chales. Nay, by seynt mary, quod the
+scoler, he promysyd me ye shulde delyuer me a tipet of sarcenet. Nay,
+quod the preest, he spake to me of no typet, but he desyred me to gyue
+yow drynk of the chales for the chyncough. By Goddis body, quod the
+scoler, he is, as he was euer wont to be, but a mokkyng wretch, and
+if[76] I lyue I shall quyte hym; and so departid out of the church in
+great anger.
+
+By thys tale ye may percyue, it is no wysdom for a man to truste to a
+man to do a thing, that is contrary to hys old accustumyd condycyons.
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[71] tricks and pranks.
+
+[72] orig. reads _synne_.
+
+[73] orig. reads _he_.
+
+[74] Intently engaged in the celebration of mass. "St. Lawrence Jewry,"
+says Mr. Cunningham (_Handbook of Lond._ 471,) "stood in King Street,
+Cheapside. It was destroyed in the Fire of 1666, and was rebuilt by Sir
+C. Wren."
+
+[75] Hooping-cough.
+
+
+
+
++ _Of mayster Skelton that brought the bysshop of Norwiche ii
+fesauntes._ xl.
+
+
++ It fortuned ther was a great varyance bitwen the bysshop of Norwych
+and one master Shelton[77] a poyet lauryat, in so much that the bysshop
+commaundyd hym that he shuld not come in his gatys. Thys mayster Skelton
+dyd absent hym selfe for a long seson; but at the laste he thought to do
+hys dewty to hym, and studyed weys how he myght obtayne the bysshopys
+fauour, and determynyd hem self that he wold come to hym wyth some
+present and humble hym self to the byshop; and [he] gat a cople of
+fesantes and cam to the bysshuppys place, and requyryd the porter he
+might come in to speke wyth my lord. This porter, knowyng his lordys
+pleasure, wold not suffer him to come in at the gatys: wherfor thys
+mayster Skelton went on the baksyde to seke some other way to come into
+the place. But the place was motyd, [so] that he cowlde se no way to
+come ouer except in one place, where there lay a long tree ouer the
+motte in maner of a brydge that was fallyn down wyth wynd: wherfore thys
+mayster Skelton went a long vpon the tree to come ouer; and whan he was
+almost ouer hys fote slypyd for lak of sure fotyng, and [he] fel in to
+the mote vp to the myddyll. But at the last he recoueryd hym self, and
+as wel as he coud dryed hymself ageyne, and sodenly cam to the byshop,
+beyng in hys hall than lately rysen from dyner, whyche, whan he saw
+Skelton commyng sodenly, sayd to hym: why, thow catyfe, I warnyd the
+thow shuldys neuer come in at my gatys and chargyd my porter to kepe the
+out. Forsoth, my lorde, quod Skelton, though ye gaue suche charge and
+though your gatys be neuer so suerly kept: yet yt ys no more possible to
+kepe me out of your dorys than to kepe out crowes or pyes: for I cam not
+in at your gatys, but I cam ouer the mote, [so] that I haue ben almost
+drownyd for my labour; and shewyd his clothys how euyll he was arayed,
+whych causyd many that stode therby to laughe apace. Than quod Skelton:
+yf it lyke your lordeshyp, I haue brought you a dyshe to your super, a
+cople of Fesantes. Nay, quod the byshop, I defy the and thy Fesantys
+also, and, wrech as thou art, pyke the out of my howse, for I wyll none
+of thy gyft how * * * * Skelton, than consyderynge that the bysshoppe
+called hym fole so ofte, sayd to one of hys famylyers therby that,
+thoughe it were euyll to be christened a fole, yet it was moche worse to
+be confyrmed a fole of suche a bysshoppe: for the name of confyrmacyon
+must nedes abyde. Therfore he ymagened howe he myghte auoyde that
+confyrmacyon, and mused a whyle; and at the laste sayde to the bysshope
+thus: if your lordeshype knewe the names of these fesantes ye wold _be_
+contente to take them. Why, caytese, quod the bisshoppe hastly and
+angrey, _what_ be theyr names? Y wys, my lorde, quod Skelton, this
+fesante is called Alpha, which is in primys--the fyrst; and this is
+called O, that is novissimus, the last; and for the more playne
+vnderstandynge of my mynde, if it plese your lordeshype to take them, I
+promyse you this alpha is the fyrste that euer I gaue you, and this O is
+the laste that euer I wyll gyue you whyle I lyue. At which answere all
+that were by made great laughter, and they all _desired the Bishoppe_ to
+be good lorde vnto him for his merye conceytes, at which _earnest
+entrety, as it_ wente, the bysshope was contente to take hym vnto his
+fauer agayne.
+
+By thys tale ye may se, that mery conceytes dothe _a man more_ good than
+to frete hymselfe with _anger_ and melancholy.
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[76] orig. reads _ever_.
+
+[77] The celebrated poet. The bishop was of course Bishop Nykke, Nikke,
+or Nyx, as the name is variously spelled. He held the see from 1501 to
+1536.
+
+
+
+
++ _Of the yeman of garde that sayd he wolde bete the carter._ xli.
+
+
++ A yoman of the kynges garde, dwellynge in a vyllage besyde London, had
+a very fayre yonge wife. To whome a carter of the towne, _a mery_
+fellowe, resorted and laye with her dyuers tymes, whan her husbande was
+on garde; and thys was so openly knowen that all the towne spake therof.
+_A certaine yonge_ man of the towne well acquoyntyd with thys yeman
+_told him_ that suche a carter hadde layne by his wyfe. To whome _this
+yeman of the garde_ sware by Goddes body, if he mette with hym it
+_should go harde but he wolde bete him well._ _Hey_, quod the yonge man,
+if ye go streyght euen nowe the _right way_, ye _shall_ ouertake him
+dryuyng a carte laden with haye towarde London; wherfore the yeman of
+the garde incontynent rode after this carter, and within shorte space
+overtoke him and knewe him well ynoughe, and incontynent called the
+carter to him and sayd thus: Syrra, I vnderstande that thou doste lye
+euery nyght with my wyfe, whan I am from home. Thys carter beynge no
+thynge afrayde of hym answered, ye, marry, what than? What than, quod
+the yeman of garde! By Goddys harte! hadst thou nat tolde me truth, I
+wolde haue broke thy hede. And so the yeman of garde retourned, and no
+hurte done, no stroke stryken nor proferyed.
+
+By this ye may se, that the greatyst crakers somtyme, whan it commeth to
+the profe, be moste cowardes.
+
+
+
+
++ _Of the fole that saide he had leuer go to hell than to heuen._ xlii.
+
+
++ A fole there was, that dwelled with a gentylman in the countrey,
+whiche was called a great tyraunte and an extorcyoner. But this fole
+loued his mayster meruaylously, because he cherysshed hym so well. It
+happened * *
+
+  _3 lines wanting._
+
+to heuen; for I had leuer go to hell. Than the other asked hym why he
+had leuer go to hell. By my trouthe, quod the fole: for I wyll go with
+my master; and I am sure my master shall go to hell. For euery man seyth
+he shall go to the deuyll in hell; and therfore I wyll go thyder with
+hym.
+
+
+
+
++ _Of the plowmannys sonne that sayde he sawe one make a gose to creke
+sweetly._ xliii.
+
+
++ There was a certayn plowmans son of the contrey of the age of xvi
+yeres, that neuer coming moche amonge company but alway went to plough
+and husbandry. On a tyme this yonge lad went to a weddyng with his
+fader, where he se one lute[78] vpon a lute; and whan he came home at
+nyght his moder asked hym, what sporte he had at weddynge. This lad
+answeryd and sayd: by my trouth, moder, quod he, there was one that
+brought a gose in his armes and tykled her so vpon the neck, that she
+crekyd the sweetlyest that I hard gose creke in my lyfe.
+
+
+
+
++ _Of the maydes answere that was with chylde._ xliv.
+
+
++ At a merchauntes house in London there was a mayde whiche was great
+with chylde, to whom the maystres of the house cam, and comaunded[79]
+her to tell her who was the fader of the chylde. To whom the mayde
+answered: forsooth, nobody. Why, quod the maystres, it is not possyble
+but som man is the fader thereof? To whom the mayd answered: why,
+maystres, why may I not haue a chyld without a man as well as hennys lay
+eggys withhout a cocke?
+
+By this ye may se it is harde to fynde a woman wythout an excuse.
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[78] _Lute_, as a verb, appears to be obsolete. We still say _to
+fiddle_, and no doubt _to lute_ was formerly just as much in use.
+
+[79] Orig. reads _and that commanded_.
+
+
+
+
++ _Of the seruaunt that rymyd with hys mayster._ xlv.
+
+
++ A gentleman there was dwellynge nygh Kyngston upon Tamys, and rydynge
+in the contrey with his seruaunt which was _not the_ quyckest felowe,
+but rode alway sadly[80] by _his maysters side and uttered_ uery fewe
+wordys. Hys mayster sayd to him: _wherefore rydyst_ thou so saddly? I
+wolde have the tell me some tale to beguyle the tyme with. By my
+trouthe, mayster, quod he, I can tell no tale. Then sayd his mayster:
+canst thou not synge? No by my trouthe, quod he, I coulde neuer synge in
+all my lyfe. Quod the mayster: canst thou ryme? No, by my trouthe, quod
+he, I can not; but yf ye wyll begyn to ryme, I wyll folow as well as I
+can. By my trouth, quod the mayster, that is well; therfore I wyll begyn
+to make a ryme. Let me se how well thou canst folowe thy mayster
+meanwhyle; and then [he] began to ryme thus:--
+
+  "Many mennys swannys swymme in Temmys,
+        And so do myne."
+
+Then quod the seruant:--
+
+  "And many a man lyeth by other mennys wyues,
+        And so do I by thyne."[81]
+
+What dost thou, horeson, quod the mayster? By my trouthe, mayster, no
+thynge, quod he, but make vp the ryme. But quod the mayster: I charge
+the tell me why thou sayest so? Forsothe Mayster, quod he, for nothynge
+in the worlde but to make vp your ryme. Than quod the mayster: yf thou
+doist for nothynge ellys, I am content. So the mayster forgaue hym hys
+saynge, all thoughe he sayd trouthe peraduenture.
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[80] Quietly.
+
+
+
+
++ _Of the Welcheman that delyuered the letter to the ape._ xlvi.
+
+
+  _5 first lines wanting._
+
+fauoure to his seruant and commaunded his seruant shortely to br_ynge
+hym an_ answere. This Welcheman came to the chefe Iustyce' place, and
+at _the gate saw_ an ape syttynge there in a cote made for hym, as they
+use to _apparell apes_ for disporte. This Welchman dyd of hys cappe, and
+made curtsye _to the ape and_ sayd: my mayster recommendeth hym to my
+lorde youre father, and sendeth hym here a letter. This ape toke this
+letter and opened it, and _lokyd theron_, and after lokyd vpon the man,
+makynge many mockes and moyes, _as the proper_tyes of apes is to do.
+This Welcheman, because he vnde_rstood hym_ nat, came agayne to his
+mayster accordynge to his commaundes, _and tolde hym he_ delyuered the
+letter vnto my lorde chefe Iustyce' sonne, _who was at the gate_ in a
+furred cote. Anone his mayster asked hym what _answere he broughte. The
+man_ sayd he gaue hym an answere; but it was other Frenche _or Laten:
+for he understode_ him nat. But, syr, quod he, ye nede nat to fere: for
+I saw _in his counte_naunce so moche, that I warrante you he wyll do
+your errande to my lorde his father. This gentylman in truste therof
+made not a_nye further suite_, for lacke wherof his seruaunte, that had
+done the felonye, within a monthe after was rayned at the kynges benche
+and caste, and afterwarde hanged.
+
+By this ye may se that euery wyse man ought to take hede, that _he
+sende nat a fo_lysshe seruaunte vpon a hasty message that is a matter of
+_nede_.
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[81] This, to save space, is printed like prose in the orig.; but it was
+evidently meant to be verse.
+
+
+
+
++ _Of hym that solde ryght nought._ xlvii.
+
+
++ A _certaine_ felowe there was whiche profered a dagger to sell to a
+fellowe, _the_ which answered hym and sayd, that he had ryght nought _to
+giue_ therfore; wherefore the other sayde that he shulde haue hys dagger
+_upon_ _c_ondycyon that he shulde gyue and delyuer vnto hym therefore
+_within iii_ dayes after ryghte nought, or els forty shyllynges in
+money: wher_on the_ other was contente. Thys bergayne thus agreed, he
+that shulde del_yuer_ his ryght noughte toke no thoughte, vntyll suche
+tyme that the day apoynted drewe nye. At the whiche tyme he began to
+ymagen, howe he myght _delyuer_ this man ryght nought. And fyrst of all
+he thought on a feder, a straw, a pynnes poynte, and suche other; but
+nothynge could he deuyse but that it was somwhat; wherfore he came home
+all sadde and pencyfe for sorowe of losynge of his xl. shyllynges, and
+coulde nother slepe nor take reste, wherof hys wyfe, beynge agreued,
+demaunded the cause of his heuynes; which at the last after many denayes
+tolde her all. Well, syr, quod she, lette me here with alone and gette
+ye forthe a-towne; and I shall handell this matter well
+ynoughe. This man folowynge his wyfes counsell wente forthe of the
+
+  _5 lines wanting._
+
+Therfore, syr, quod she, put your hande in yonder potte, and take your
+money. This man beynge glad thrust his hande in it, supposyng to haue
+taken xl shyllynges of money, and thrust his hande thoroughe it vp to
+the elbowe. Quod the wyfe than: syr, what haue ye there? Mary, quod he,
+ryghte nought. Syr, quod she, than haue ye youre bergayne, and than my
+husbande hathe contented you for his dagger accordynge to his promyse.
+
+By this ye may se, that oftentymes a womans wytte at an extremyte _is
+moche_ better than a mans.
+
+
+
+
++ _Of the frere that tolde the thre chyldres fortunes._ xlviii.
+
+
++ There was _a frere_ lymyttour whyche wente a lymyttynge to a
+cer_tayne_ towne, wherin dwellyd a certayne ryche man of whome he ne_uer
+coulde_ gette the value of an hal[f]peny: yet he thought he wolde go
+thyder and assaye hem.[82] And as he wente thyderwarde, the wyfe
+stand_yng at the_ dore, perceyuynge hym commynge a farre of, thoughte
+that he _was commynge_ thyther, and by and by ranne in and badde her
+chyldren standyng _thereby_, that if the frere asked for her, say she
+was nat within. The frere _sawe her_ runne in and suspected the cause,
+and came to the dore and asked for the wyfe. The chyldren, as they were
+bydden, sayde that she was nat within. Than stode he styll lokynge on
+the chyldren; and at the laste he called to hym the eldeste and badde
+hym let hym se his hande; and whan he _saw his_ hande: O Jesu! quod he,
+what fortune for the is ordayned! _Then he asked the_ seconde sonne to
+se his hande and, his hande sene, the frere sayd: _O Jesu! what_
+destenye for the is prepared. Than loked he in the thyrde sonnes _hand_.
+_O God!_ quod he, thy desteny is hardest of all; and therwith wente he
+his way. The _wyfe_, heryng these thinges, sodenly ranne out and called
+the frere againe, _and pray_de hym to come in, and after to sytte downe,
+and sette before hym _all the vita_ile that she had. And whan he had
+well eaten and dronken, she be_sought_ hym to tell her the destenyes of
+her chyldren; which at the last after many _difficulties_ tolde her that
+the fyrste shulde be a beggar, the seconde a thefe, the thyrde a
+homicyde; whiche she hearynge fell downe in a soone[83] and toke it
+greuouslye. The frere comforted her and said that, thoughe these were
+theyr fortunes, there myght be remedy had. Than she besought of him[84]
+his counsell. Than said the frere: you must make the eldest that shalbe
+a beggar a frere, and the seconde that shalbe a thefe a man of lawe, and
+the thyrde that shalbe an homicyde a phisicyon.
+
+By this tale ye may lerne, that they that will come to the speche or
+presence of any persone for theyr owne cause, they muste fyrste endeuer
+them selfe to shewe suche matters as those persones most delyte in.
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[82] _i. e._ him. The Orig. reads _them_.
+
+
+
+
++ _Of the boy that bare the frere his masters money._ xlix.
+
+
+  _4 lines wanting._
+
+Ye, quod the frere. Than wente the man to the boye and sayd: syr, thy
+mayster byddeth the gyue me xl pens. I wyll nat, quod the boye. Than
+called the man with an hye voyce to the frere and sayd: syr, he sayeth
+he wyll not. Than quod the frere: bete him; and whan the boye harde his
+mayster say so, he gaue the man xl pens.
+
+By this ye may se, it is foly for a man to say ye or nay to a matter,
+excepte he knewe surely what the matter is.
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[83] Swoon.
+
+[84] Orig. reads _besought him of_.
+
+
+
+
++ _Of Phylyp Spencer the bochers man._ l.
+
+
++ A certayne bocher dwellynge in Saynt Nicolas[85] Flesshambles in
+London, called Poule, had a seruaunte called Peter. Thys Peter on a
+Sonday was at the churche herynge masse; and one of his felowes, whose
+name was Phylyppe Spencer, was sente to call him at the commaundement of
+his maister. So it happened at the tyme that the curat _preched_, and in
+his sermonde touched many auctoryties of the holy scriptures, amonge
+all, the wordes of the pystles of saynt Poule ad[86] phylypenses: howe
+[we] be nat onely bounde to beleue in Chryste but also to suffre for
+Chrystes sake; and [he] sayd these wordes in the pulpet: what sayeth
+Poule ad Phylyppenses to this? Thys yonge man, that was called Philyppe
+Spenser, hadde went he had spoken of him [and] answered shortely and
+sayd: mary, syr, he bad Peter come home and take his parte of a podynge,
+for he shulde go for a Calfe anone. The curate herynge this, was
+abasshed, and all the audyence made great laughter.
+
+By thys ye may se, that it is no token of a wyse man to gyue a soden
+answere to a questyon, before he knowe surely what the matter is.
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[85] Orig, reads _Nocolas_. The Church of St. Nicholas Shambles, which
+formerly stood in the neigbourhood of Newgate Market, was pulled down at
+the Reformation. See Cunningham, _Handbook of London_, in voce.
+
+[86] Orig. reads _and_.
+
+
+
+
++ _Of the courtear and the carter._ li.
+
+
++ There came a courtyer by a carter, the whiche in derysyon preysed the
+carters backe, legges, and other membres of his body meruaylously, whose
+gestynge the carter perceyued and sayde, he had another properte than
+the courtyer espyed in hym; and whan the courtyer had demanded what it
+shulde be, he lokyd asyde ouer hys shulder vpon the courtyer and sayde
+thus: lo! syr, this is my propertie. I haue a walle eye in my hede: for
+I neuer loke ouer my shulder thys wyse but lyghtlye[87] I spye[88] a
+knaue.
+
+By this tale a man may se, that he that useth to deryde and mocke other
+folkes, is somtyme him selfe more deryded and mocked.
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[87] Quickly.
+
+[88] Orig. reads _lyghtlye espye_.
+
+
+
+
++ _Of the yongman that prayd his felow to teche hym hys paternoster._
+lii.
+
+
++ A yonge man of the age of xx yere, rude and unlerned, in the tyme of
+Lente came to his curate to be confessed; whiche, whan he was of his
+lyfe serched and examyned could not saye his Pater noster: wherfore his
+confessoure exorted him to lerne his Pater noster and shewed him what an
+holy and goodly prayer it was and the effecte therof and the vii
+peticyons therin contayned. _The i. sanctificetur &c. halowed be thy
+name. The ii. adueniat regnum &c. thy kingdome come. The iii. Fiat
+voluntas &c. thy will be done in earth as it is in heuen. The iv. Panem
+nostrum &c. geue[89] us_ our dayly sustenaunce alway and helpe vs as we
+helpe[90] them that haue nede of us. The v. Dimitte &c. Forgyue vs our
+synnes done to the as we forgyue them that trespas agaynste vs. The vi.
+Et ne nos. Let vs nat be ouercome with euyll temptacyon. The vii. Sed
+libera &c. But delyuer us from all euyll. amen. And than his confessour,
+after this exposicyon to hym made, injoyned hym in penaunce to faste
+euery Fryday on brede and water, tyll he had his Pater noster well and
+sufficiently lerned. This yonge man, mekely acceptyng his penaunce, so
+departed and came home to one of his companyons, and sayde to his
+felowe: so it is that my gostely father hathe gyuen me in penaunce to
+faste euery Fryday [on] brede and water, tyll I can say my Pater noster.
+Therfore I pray thee teche me my Pater noster, and by my truthe I shall
+therfore teche the a songe of Robyn Hode that shall be worth xx of it.
+
+By thys tale ye may lerne to knowe the effecte of the holy prayer of the
+Pater noster.
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[89] Singer's ed. reads _yeve_.
+
+[90] Orig. ed. and Singer read _we haue and helpe them_.
+
+
+
+
++ _Of the frere that prechyd in ryme expownynge the ave maria._ liii.
+
+
++ A certayne frere there was whiche, vpon Our Lady day the Annuncyacion,
+made a sermon in the Whyte Freres in London, and began his antetexte
+thys wyse. Aue Maria gracia plena dominus tecum &c. These wordes, quod
+the frere, were spoken by the aungell Gabryell to Oure Ladye, whan she
+conceyued Christe; which is as moche to saye in our mother tonge as: all
+hayle, Mary, well thou be; the sonne of God is with the. And furthermore
+the aungell sayde: thou shall conceyue and bere a sonne, and thou shalt
+call his name Jesum; and Elyzabeth thy swete cosyn, she shall conceyue
+the swete Saynt John. And so [he] proceded styll in his sermon in suche
+fonde ryme, that dyuers and many gentylmen of the court that were there
+began to smyle and laughe. The frere that perceyuyng said thus:
+Maysters, I pray you, harke; I shall tell you a narracyon. There was
+ones a yonge preest, that was nat all the best clerke, sayd masse and
+redde a colect thus: Deus qui vigenti filii tui &c. wherfore he shulde
+haue said vnigeniti filii tui &c.; and after, whan masse was done, there
+was suche a gentylman, as one of you are, nowe that had herde this
+masse, came to the preest and sayde thus: syr, I pray you tell me how
+many sonnes had God Almyghty? Quod the preest: why aske you that? Mary,
+syr, quod the gentylman, I suppose he had xx sonnes: for ye sayd right
+nowe: Deus qui viginti filii tui.[91] The preest, perceyuynge how that
+he deryded hym, answered hym shortely and said thus: howe many sonnes so
+euer God Almyghty had, I am sure that thou arte none of them: for thou
+scornyst the worde of God. And so sayde the frere in the pulpet: no more
+are ye none of the chyldren of God: for ye scorne and laughe at me nowe,
+that preche to you the worde of God whiche
+
+  _3 lines wanting._
+
+_By this ye may_[92] perceyue wel that the best, the wysyst and the most
+holyest matter that is, by fond pronuncyacion and otterauns, may be
+marryd nor shall not[93] edyfye to the audyence. Therfore euery proces
+shold[94] be vtteryd wyth wordys and countenaunce conuenyent to the
+matter.
+
+Also yet by thys tale they that be vnlearnyd in the laten tonge may know
+the sestence[95] of the Aue Maria.
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[91] This portion of the tale is repeated in _Scoggin's or Scogin's
+Jests_.
+
+
+
+
++ _Of the curat that prechyd the artycles of the Crede._ liv.
+
+
++ In a wyllage in Warwykshyre there was a parysh prest, al though he wer
+no great clarke nor graduat of the vnyuersyte, yet he prechid to hys
+paryshons vppon a Sonday, declaryng to them xii artycles of the Crede;
+shewyng them that the furst artycle was to beleue in God the fader
+almyghty maker of heuen and erth; the second, to beleue in Jesu Cryste
+hys onely son our Lorde coequal wyth the fader in all thynges perteynyng
+to the deyte; the thyrd, that he was conceyuyd of the holy goost, borne
+of the vyrgyn Mary; the fourthe, that he suffred deth under Pons pylate
+and that he was crucyfyed, dede and beryed; the fyft, that he descended
+to hell, and fet[96] out the good sowlys that were in feyth and hope,
+and than the thyrd day rose from deth to lyfe; the syxt, [that] he
+assendyd into heuen to the ryght syde of God the fader, where he
+syttyth; the seuynth, that he shall come at the day of dome to judge
+both us that be quyk and them that be dede; the eyght, to beleue in the
+Holy Ghost equall God wyth the fader and the sone; the nynth, [to
+beleue] in the holy churche Catholyk and in the holy communyon of
+sayntes; the tenth, [to beleue] in the remyssion of synnys; the levynth,
+[to beleue] in the resurreccyon generall of the body and soule; the
+twelfth [to beleue] in eurlastynge lyfe that God shall rewarde them that
+be good. And [he] sayd to his paryshons further, that these artycles ye
+be bounde to beleue: for they be trewe of auctoryte. And yf you beleue
+not me, than for a more surete and suffycyent auctoryte go your way to
+Couentre, and there ye shall se them all playe in Corpus Cristi playe.
+
+By redynge of this tale, they that understand no Laten may lerne to
+knovve the xii articles of the fayth.
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[92] I have supplied these four words from conjecture. They are not in
+the original nor in Singer's reprint.
+
+[93] The double negative is very common in old English books.
+
+[94] Orig. reads _wold_.
+
+[95] Essence?
+
+[96] Fetched.
+
+
+
+
++ _Of the frere that prechyd the x commaundementis._ lv.
+
+
++ A lymytour of the Gray Freres in London prechyd[97] in a certaine
+vyllage in the contrey in the tyme of his lymytacyon, and had prechyd a
+sermon which he had lernyd by hart, that of the declaring of the x.
+commaundementis. The fyrst, to beleue in one God and to honoure him
+aboue all thynges. The seconde, to swere not in vayn by hym nor none of
+his creatures. The thyrde, to absteyne from wordely operacyon on the
+holy day, thou and all thy seruauntys of whome thou hast cherg. The
+fourthe, to honour thy parentys and to help them in theyr necessyte. The
+fyft, to sle no man in dede nor wyll, nor for no hatred hurte his bodye
+nor good name. The syxte, to do no fornycacyon actuall nor by no
+vnlefull[98] thought to desyre no fleshly delectacyon. The seuenthe
+(eighth), to stele nor depryue no mannes goodes by thefte. _The ninth,
+not to bear false witness against thy neighbour. The tenth, not_[99] to
+couete nor desyre no mannes goodes vnlefullye. Thou shalt not desyre
+thy neyghbours wyfe for thyne owne apetyte vnlaufully. And because this
+frere had preched this sermonde so often, one that had herde it before
+tolde the freres seruaunte, that his maister was called frere John x.
+Commaundementes; wherfore this seruaunte shewed the frere his mayster
+therof, and aduysed him to preche some sermonde of some other matter:
+for it greued him to here his maister so deryded and to be called frere
+John x. Commaundementes. For euery man knoweth [quod he] what ye wyll
+say, as sone as euer ye begyn, because ye haue prechyd it so ofte. Why
+than, quod the frere, I am sure thou knowest well whiche be the x
+commaundementes that hast herde them so ofte declared. Ye, syr, quod the
+seruaunte, that I do. Than, quod the frere, I pray the reherse them vnto
+me nowe. Mary, quod the seruaunte, they be these. Pride, couetise,[100]
+slouthe, enuy, wrathe, glotony and lechery.
+
+By redyng thys tale ye may lerne to knowe the x commaundementes and the
+vii dedely synnes.[101]
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[97] Orig. reads _whych perchyd_, which the context will scarcely allow.
+
+[98] Unlawful.
+
+[99] The words in italics are supplied by me from conjecture. They are
+not in orig. or in Singer's reprint; but it is evident what the context
+requires.
+
+[100] Covetousness. Orig. reads _covetous_.
+
+[101] Whitford, in his _Werke for Householders_, 1533, says:--"yet must
+you have a lesson to teche your folkes to beware of the vii pryncipall
+synnes, whiche ben communely called the seven dedely synnes, but in dede
+they doue call them wronge: for they be not alway dedely synnes.
+Therfore they sholde be called capytall or pryncipall synnes, and not
+dedely synnes. These ben theyr names by ordere after our dyvysion:
+Pryde, Envy, Wrath, Covetyse, Glotony, Slouth, and Lechery."
+
+
+
+
++ _Of the wyfe that bad her husbande ete the candell fyrste._ lvi.
+
+
++ The husbande sayde to his wyfe thus wyse: by this candell, I dremed
+thys nyght that I was cockecolde. To whom she answered and sayd:
+husbande, by this brede, ye are none. Than sayd he: wyfe, eate the
+brede. She answered and sayd to her husbande: than eate you the candell:
+for you sware fyrste.
+
+By this a man may se, that a womans answer is _neuer to seke_.
+
+
+
+
++ _Of the man of lawes sonnes answer._ lvii.
+
+
++ A woman demaunded a questyon of a little chylde, sonne unto a man of
+lawe, of what crafte his father was; whiche chylde sayde, his father was
+a craftye man of lawe.
+
+By this tale a man may perceyue, that somtyme peraduenture yonge
+Innocentes speke truely vnaduysed.
+
+
+
+
++ _Of the frere in the pulpet that bad the woman leue her babelynge._
+lviii.
+
+
++ In a certayne parrysshe churche in London, after the olde laudable and
+accustomed maner, there was a frere Mynor, all thoughe he were nat the
+best clerke nor coulde nat make the best sermondes, yet by the lycence
+of the curate he there prechyd to the Parysshons. Among the whyche
+audyence there was a wyfe at that tyme lytell disposed to contemplacyon,
+[who] talked wyth a gossype of hers of other femenyne tales so loude
+that the frere harde and somwhat was perturbed therwith. To whome
+therfore openly the frere spake and sayd: thou woman there in the tawny
+gowne, holde thy peace and leaue thy babelynge; thou troublest the worde
+of God. This woman therwith sodenly abasshed, because the frere spake to
+her so openly, that all the people her behelde, answered shortly and
+said: I beshrowe his harte that babeleth more of us two. At the which
+seyng the people dyd laughe, because they felte but lytell frute in hys
+sermonde.
+
+By this tale a man may lerne to beware howe he openly rebuketh any
+other, and in what audyence, lest it come to his owne reprofe.
+
+
+
+
++ _Of the Welchman that cast the Scotte into the see._ lix.
+
+
+  _5 first lines wanting._
+
+  they toke many great interpryses and many shyppes
+  and many prisoners of other realmes that were
+  theyr enemyes.  Amonge the whiche they happened
+  on a season to take a Scottes shype; and
+  dyuers Scottes they slewe and toke prisoners,
+  amonge whome there was a Welcheman that had
+  one of the Scottes prysoners, and bad him that he
+  shulde do of his harneys, whiche to do the Scotte
+  was very lothe; howe be it for feare at the laste he
+  pulled it of with an euyll wyll, and sayd to the
+  Welcheman: and if thou wylte nedes haue my
+  harneys, take it there, and cast it ouer the borde
+  into the see. The Welcheman, seynge that, sayd:
+  by Cottes blud and her nayle,[102] I shall make her
+  fette[103] it agayne; and toke him by the legges, and
+  caste hym after ouer the borde into the see.
+
+  By this tale a man may lerne, that he that is
+  subiecte to another, ought to forsake his owne
+  wyll and folowe his wyll and comaundement that
+  so hathe subieccyon ouer him, leste it turne to his
+  great hurte and damage.
+
+  FOOTNOTES:
+
+  [102] i.e. By God's blood and His nail.
+
+  [103] Fetch.
+
+
+
+
+  + _Of the man that had the dome wyfe._ lx.
+
+
+  + There was a man that maryed a woman whiche
+  had great ryches and beautie; howe be it she had
+  suche an impedyment of nature, that she was
+  domme and coulde nat speke. Whiche thinge
+  made him to be ryght pensyfe and sadde; wherfore,
+  vpon a day as he walked alone ryght heuy in
+  harte, thynkynge vpon his wyfe, there came one to
+  him and asked hym, what was the cause of his
+  heuynesse; whiche answered that it was onely
+  because his wife was borne domme. To whome
+  this other sayde: I shall shewe the sone a remedye
+  and a medecyne therfore, that is thus: go take an
+  aspen lefe and laye it vnder her tonge this nyght,
+  she beynge a slepe; and I warante the that she
+  shall speke on the morowe. Whiche man, beynge
+  glad of this medycyne, prepared therfore and
+  gathered aspyn leaues; wherfore he layde thre of
+  them vnder her tonge, when she was a slepe. And
+  on the morowe whan he hymselfe awaked, he, desyrous
+  to knowe howe his medecyne wrought,
+  beynge in bedde with her, he demaunded of her
+  howe she dyd; and sodenly she answered and
+  sayd: I beshrowe your harte for wakenynge me so
+  erly; and so by the virtue of that medycyne she
+  was restored to her speche. But in conclusyon
+  her speche so encreased day by day, and she was
+  so curste of condycyon, that euery daye she brauled
+  and chydde with her husbande so moche, that at
+  the laste he was more vexed, and hadde moche
+  more trouble and disease with her shrewde wordes,
+  than he hadde before whan she was dome. Wherfore,
+  as he walked another tyme abrode, he happened
+  to meate agayne with the same persone that
+  taughte _hym howe to make his wyfe speke_[104]
+
+  _2 or 3 lines wanting._
+
+and more wery of her nowe than I was before, whan she was domme;
+wherfore I praye you teche me a medycyne to modefye her, that she speke
+nat so moche. This other answered and sayd thus: syr, I am a deuyll of
+hell; but I am one of them that haue leste power there. All be it yet I
+haue power to make a woman to speke, but and if a woman begyn ones to
+speke, I, nor all the deuyls in hell that haue the more power, be nat
+able to make a woman to be styll, nor to cause her to leaue her
+spekynge.
+
+By thys tale ye may note, that a man ofte tymes desyreth and coueteth
+moche that thynge, that ofte turneth to his displeasure.
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[104] These words in Italics I have supplied from conjecture. They are
+not in orig. or in Singer.
+
+
+
+
++ _Of the Proctour of Arches that had the lytel wyfe._ lxi.
+
+
++ One askyd a Proctour of the Arches, lately before maryed, why he chose
+so lytel a wyfe; whiche answered: because he had a texte sayenge thus:
+ex duobus malis minus[105] est eliendum, that is to saye in englyshe,
+amonge euyll thinges the leste is to be chosen.
+
+
+
+
++ _Of ii nonnes that were shryuen of one preste._ lxii.
+
+
++ In the tyme of Lente there came two nonnes to saynte Johnns in London
+bycause of the great pardon, there to be confessed. Of the whyche
+nonnes, the one was a young lady and the other was olde. This yonge lady
+chose fyrst her confessour, and confessed her that she hadde synned in
+lechery. The confessour asked, with whome it was; she sayd it was with a
+lustye gallante. He demaunded where it was; she sayd: in a plesaunte
+grene herber. He asked further: whan it was. She sayd: in the mery
+moneth of Maye. Than sayd the confessour this wyse: a fayre yonge lady,
+with a lusty galante, in a plesaunte herber, and in the mery moneth of
+Maye! Ye dyd but your kynde! Nowe, by my truthe, God forgyue you, and I
+do; and so she departed. And incontynent the olde nonne mette with her,
+askynge her howe she lyked her confessour; whiche sayd he was the best
+gostly father that euer she hadde and the most easyest in
+penaunce-geuyng. For comfort wherof this other nonne went to the same
+confessour and shroue her lykewyse, that she had synned in lechery. And
+he demaunded with whome. Whiche sayde: with an old frere. He asked
+where. She said: in her olde cloyster. He asked: what season. She sayde:
+in Lente. Than the confessour sayd: an old ----, to lye with an old
+frere, in her olde cloyster, and in the holy tyme of Lente! by cockes
+body,[106] if God forgyue the, yet wyll I neuer forgyue the. Which
+wordes caused her to departe all sadde and sore abasshed.
+
+By this tale men may lerne, that a vicyous acte is more abhomynable in
+one person than in another, in one season than in another, and in one
+place than in an other.[107]
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[105] orig. reads: _ex duobus malis minus malis_.
+
+[106] By God's body.
+
+[107] If meant as quiet irony, this moral is admirable.
+
+
+
+
++ _Of the esquyer that sholde have ben made knyght._ lxiii.
+
+
+  _4 lines of the original are wanting._
+
+and the trumpettes began to blowe, a yonge squyer of Englande rydynge on
+a lusty courser of whych horse the noyse of the trumpettes so prycked
+the corage, that the squyer could nat him retayne; so that agaynste his
+wyll he ranne vpon hys enemyes. Whyche squyer, seynge none other remedy,
+sette his spere in the rest and rode throughe the thyckest of hys
+enemyes, and in conclusyon had good fortune, and saued hym selfe alyue
+without hurte: and the Englysshe hooste folowed and had the victorye.
+And after, whan the felde was wonne, this kynge Edwarde called the
+squyre and badde hym knele down, _and he_ wolde make hym knyght, because
+he valyauntely was the man that day, which with the moost couragyous
+stomake aduentured fyrste vpon theyr enemyes. To whome the squyer thus
+answered: if it lyke your grace to make any one knyghte therfore, I
+beseche you to make my horse knyght, and nat _me: for certes_ it was his
+dede, and nat myne, and full sore agaynst my wyll. Whiche answere the
+kynge herynge refrayned to promote hym to the order of knyghthode,
+reputynge hym in maner but for a cowarde; and euer after fauored hym the
+lesse therfore.
+
+By this tale a man may lerne, howe it is wysedome _when he is_ in good
+credence to kepe hym[self] therein, and in no wyse to dysable[108] hym
+selfe to moche.
+
+
+
+
++ _Of him that wolde gette the maystrye of his wyfe._ lxiv.
+
+
++ A yonge man, late maryed to a wyfe, thought it was good polecye to
+gette the maystrye of her in the begynnynge, came to her, the potte
+sethynge ouer the fyre, all thoughe the meate therein were nat ynoughe
+soden [and] commaunded[109] her to take the potte fro the fyre; whiche
+answered and said that the meate was nat redy to eate. And he said
+agayne: I wyll haue it taken of for my pleasure. This good woman, lothe
+yet to offende hym, sette the potte besyde the fyre, as he badde. And
+anone after he commaunded her to sette the potte behynde the dore, and
+she said agayne: ye be nat wyse therin. But he precysely said, it shuld
+be so, as he bad. And she gentylly againe dyd his commaundement. This
+man, yet nat satisfied, comaunded her to set the pot a-hygh vpon the
+henne roste. What! quod the wyfe, I trowe ye be madde. And he fyerslye
+than comaunded her to sette it there, or els he sayd she shulde repente
+it. She, somwhat afrayde to moue his pacyence, toke a ladder, and sette
+it to the rost[110] and wente her selfe vp the ladder, and toke the
+potte in her hande, prayeng her husbande than to holde the ladder faste
+for [fear of] slydynge; whiche so dyd. And whan the husbande loked up,
+and sawe the potte stande there on hyght, he sayd thus: Lo! nowe
+standeth the potte there, as I wolde haue it. This wyfe hearynge
+
+  _4 lines wanting._
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[108] disparage.
+
+[109] orig. is here apparently very corrupt; it reads: "all thoughe the
+meat therein were nat ynoughe, sodenlye commaunded," &c.
+
+
+
+
++ _Of the penytent that sayd the shepe of God have mercy upon me._ lxv.
+
+
++ A certayne confessour, in the holy tyme of Lente, enioyned his
+penytente to saye dayly for his penaunce this prayer: Agnus Dei miserere
+mei, whiche was as moche to saye in englysshe as the Lambe of God haue
+mercye vpon me. This penytente acceptynge his penaunce departed, and
+that tyme twelfe monthe after came agayne to be confessed of the same
+confessoure, whiche demaunded of him whether he had fulfylled his
+penaunce that he hym enioyned the laste yeare. _Than_ he sayde thus: ye,
+syr, I thanke God I haue fulfylled it. For I haue sayd thus to daye in
+the mornynge and so dayly: the shepe of God haue mercy vpon me. To whome
+the confessour said: nay, I bad the say: Agnus Dei miserere mei, that
+is, the Lamb of God haue mercy vpon me. Ye, syr, quod the _penytente_,
+ye say truthe; that was the laste yeare. But now it is a twelfemonthe
+_since_, and it is a shepe by this tyme. Therfore I muste nedes say
+nowe: the shepe of God haue mercy vpon me.
+
+By this tale ye may perceyue, that if holy scripture be expowned to the
+lay people onely in the lytterall sence, peraduenture it shall do lytell
+good.
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[110] planted it against the roost.
+
+
+
+
++ _Of the husbande that sayd he was John Daw._ lxvi.
+
+
++ It _happened_ dyuers to be in communicacyon, amonge whome there was a
+curate or a parysshe preest and one John Dawe, a parisshon of his;
+whiche ii had communicacyon more busy than other in thys maner. This
+preest thought that one myght nat by felynge knowe one from a nother in
+the darke. John Dawe his parysshone, [being] of the contrary opinyon,
+layde with his curate for a wager xl pence; whervpon the parysshe
+preest, wyllynge to proue his wager, wente to this John Dawes house in
+the euenynge, and sodenly gate hym to bedde with his wyfe; where, whan
+he began to be somwhat busye, she felynge his crowne sayde shortely with
+a loude voyce: by God! thou art nat John Dawe. That hearynge, her
+husbande answered: thou sayest trouthe, wyfe, I John Dawe am here.[111]
+Therfore, mayster persone, gyue me the money: for ye haue loste your xl.
+pence.
+
+By this tale ye may lerne to perceyue, that it is no wysedome for a man
+to be couetous of wynnynge of any wager to put in ieopardye a thynge,
+that maye turne him to greatter displeasure.
+
+
+
+
++ _Of the scoler of Oxforde that proued by souestry ii chykens iii._
+lxvii.
+
+
++ A ryche Frankelyn in the contrey hauynge by his wyfe but one chylde
+and no mo, for the great affeccyon that he had to his sayd chylde founde
+hym at Oxforde to schole by the space of ii or iii yere. Thys yonge
+scoler, in a vacacyon[112] tyme, for his disporte came home to his
+father. It fortuned afterwarde on a nyght, the father, the mother and
+the sayd yonge scoler
+
+  _5 lines wanting._
+
+_I_ haue studyed souestry, and by that scyence I can proue, that these
+ii chekyns in the dysshe be thre chekyns.[113] Mary, sayde the father,
+that wolde I fayne se. The scoller toke one of the chekyns in his hande
+and said: lo! here is one chekyn, and incontynente he toke bothe the
+chekyns in his hande iointely and sayd: here is ii chekyns; and one and
+ii maketh iii: ergo here is iii chekyns. Than the father toke one of the
+chekyns to him selfe, and gaue another to his wyfe, and sayd thus: lo! I
+wyll haue one of the chekyns to my parte, and thy mother shal haue a
+nother, and because of thy good argumente thou shalte haue the thyrde to
+thy supper: for thou gettyst no more meate here at this tyme; whyche
+promyse the father kepte, and so the scoller wente without his supper.
+
+By this tale men may se, that it is great foly to put one to scole to
+lerne any subtyll scyence, whiche hathe no naturall wytte.
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[111] orig. reads _I am here John Dawe_.
+
+[112] orig. reads _vocacyon_.
+
+[113] The same story is to be found in _Scogin's Jests_, with a trifling
+variation. _Scogin's Jests_ were published before 1565. Several of the
+anecdotes, here narrated, were re-produced in that and other
+collections. See also _Joake upon Joake_, 1721, where the present story
+is told of King Charles the Second, Nell Gwynne, and the Duchess of
+Portsmouth. In this version the Duchess is the sufferer.
+
+
+
+
++ _Of the frere that stale the podynge._[114] lxviii.
+
+
++ A frere of London there was that on a Sonday in the mornynge
+yerly[115] in the somer season came fro London to Barnette to make a
+colacyon,[116] and was there an houre before hye masse began: and
+bycause he wolde come to the churche honestly, he wente fyrst to an ale
+house there to wype his shoes and to make him selfe clenly. In the
+whyche house there were podynges to sell, and dyuers folkes there
+brekynge theyr faste, and eatynge podynges. But the frere brake his
+faste in a secrete place in the same house. This frere sone after came
+to the church, and by lycence of the curate entered into the pulpet to
+make a colacyon or sermon. And in his sermon there he rebuked sore the
+maner of them that met to breke theyr faste on the Sonday before hye
+masse, and said it was called the deuyls blacke brekefast. And with that
+worde spekynge, as he dyd caste his armes out to make his countenaunce,
+there fell a podyng out of his sleue, whiche he hym selfe had stolen a
+lytell before in the same alehouse; and whan the people saw that, and
+specially they that brake theyr faste there the same mornynge, and
+knewe well that the wyfe had complayned howe she had one of her podynges
+stolen, they laughed so moche at the frere, that he incontynente wente
+downe out of the pulpet for shame.
+
+By this tale a man may se that, whan a precher dothe rebuke any synne or
+vyce wherin he is knowen openly to be gyltie him selfe, suche prechynge
+shall lytell edefye to the people.
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[114] This story, as already mentioned in the Introduction, is taken
+from the tale of the "Vickar of Bergamo" in _Tarlton's Newes out of
+Purgatorie_ (1590). See Halliwell's ed. of _Tarlton's Jests, &c._ p. 82.
+(Shakesp. Sec.).
+
+[115] Early.
+
+[116] Homily.
+
+
+
+
++ _Of the frankelyns sonne that cam to take ordres._ lxix.
+
+
++ A certayne scoler there was, intendynge to be made a preest, whyche
+hadde nother great wytte nor lernynge, came to the bysshoppe to take
+orders, whose folysshenes the bysshoppe perceyuynge, because he was a
+ryche mannes sonne wolde nat very strongly oppose him, but asked him
+thys _questyon: Noye had thre sonnes, Sem, Came, and Japhete; nowe tell
+me, who was Japhetes father? But the scoler was all abashed, and knew
+nat what to answere: wherefore the bysshoppe sayde: get the home and
+consider awhile_, and come agayne and soyle[117] me this questyon, and
+thou shalt haue orders. This scoler so departed and came home to his
+father, and shewed hym the cause of the hynderaunce of his orders. Hys
+father, beyng angry at his folisshenes, thought to teche hym the
+solucyon of this questyon by a familier example, and called his spanyels
+before hym, and sayd thus: Thou knowest well, Colle my dogge hathe these
+iii. whelpes, Ryg, Trygge and Tryboll. Muste nat all my dogges nedes be
+syre to Tryboll? Than quod the scoler: by God! father, ye [have] sayd
+trouthe. Let me alone nowe; ye shall se me do well ynoughe the nexte
+tyme. Wherfore on the morowe he wente to the bysshoppe agayne, and sayd
+he coulde soyle his questyon. Than sayd the bysshoppe: Noye had thre
+sonnes, Sem, Came,[118] and Japhete. Now, tell me who was Japhetes
+father. Mary, syr, quod the scoler, if it plese youre lordeshyppe, Colle
+my fathers dogge.
+
+By this tale a man may lerne, that it is but loste tyme to teche a fole
+any thynge, whiche hathe no wytte to perceyue it.
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[117] Satisfy, a very rare word.
+
+
+
+
++ _Of the husbandman that lodgyd the frere in his own bedde._ lxx.
+
+
++ It fortuned so that a frere, late in the euenynge, desyred lodgynge of
+a poore man of the countrey, the whiche for lacke of other lodgyng,
+glad to harborowe the frere, lodged him in his owne bedde. And after, he
+and his wyfe, the frere beynge a slepe, came and laye in the same bedde;
+and in the mornynge after the poore man rose and went to the market,
+leauyng the frere in the bedde with his wyfe. And as he wente he smiled
+and laughte to hym selfe; wherfore hys neyghbours demaunded of hym, why
+he so smyled. He answered and sayd: I laughe to thynke, howe shamefaste
+the frere shal be whanne he waketh, whome I left in bedde with my wyfe.
+
+By this tale a man may lerne, that he that ouershoteth hym selfe doth
+folysshely: yet he is more fole to shewe it openly.
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[118] Ham.
+
+
+
+
++ _Of the preste that wolde say two gospels for a grote._ lxxi.
+
+
++ Somtyme there dwelled a preest in Stretforde vpon Auyne of small
+lernyng, which vndeuoutly sange masse and oftentymes twyse on one day.
+So it happened on a tyme, after his seconde masse was done in shorte
+space, nat a myle from Stretforde there mette with hym dyuers marchaunte
+men whiche wolde haue harde masse, and desyred hym to synge masse and he
+shuld haue a grote; whiche answered them and sayd: syrs, I wyll say
+masse no more this day; but I wyll say you two gospels for one grote,
+and that is dogge chepe [for] a masse in any place in Englande.
+
+By this tale a man may se, that they that be rude and unlerned regarde
+but lytell the meryte and goodness of holy prayer.
+
+
+
+
++ _Of the coutear that dyd cast the frere ouer the bote._ lxxii.
+
+
+_Too much damaged to decypher._
+
+
+
+
++ _Of the frere that prechyd what mennys sowles were._ lxxiii.
+
+
++ A precher in pulpet whiche prechyd the worde _of God, amonge other_
+matters spake of mennes soules and sayd _that the soule was so_ subtyll
+that a thousande soules myght daunce _on the space of the nayle of a_
+mannes fynger. Amonge which audyence there was a mery conceyted _fellow_
+of small deuocyon that answered and sayde thus: mayster doctour, if a
+thousande soules may daunce on a mannes nayle, I praye you than, where
+shall the pyper stande?
+
+By this tale a man may se, that it is but foly to shewe or to teche
+vertue to them, that haue no pleasure nor mynde therto.
+
+
+
+
++ _Of the husbande that cryed ble under the bed._ lxxiv.
+
+
++ In London there was a certayne artifycer hauyng a fayre wife, to whom
+a lusty galante made pursute to accomplisshe his pleasure. This woman,
+denyeng, shewed the matter vnto her husband whiche, moued therewith, bad
+his wyfe to appoynte him a tyme to come secretly to lye with her all
+nyght, and with great crakes and othes sware that, agaynst his comyng,
+he wolde be redy harneysed and wolde put him in ieopardye of his lyfe,
+except he wolde make hym a great amendes. Thys nyght was then appoynted;
+at whiche tyme thys courtyer came at his houre, and entred in at the
+chamber, and set his two-hande sworde downe, and sayde these wordes:
+stande thou there, thou sworde, the dethe of thre men! This husbande
+lyenge vnder the bedde in harneys, herynge these wordes, lay still for
+fere. The courtyer anone gat him to bed with the wyfe about his
+prepensed busynesse; and within an houre or two the husbande, beynge
+wery of lyenge, beganne to remoue hym. The courtyer, that hearynge,
+asked the wyfe what thinge that was that remoued vnder the bedde;
+whiche, excusyng the matter, sayd it was a lytell shepe, that was wonte
+dayly to go about the house; and the husbande, that herynge, anone
+cryed _ble_, as it had ben a shepe. And so in conclusyon, whan the
+courtyer sawe his tyme, he rose and kissed the wyfe, and took his leaue
+and departed. And as sone as he was gone the husbande arose; and, whan
+the wyfe loked on him, somwhat abasshed began to make a sad countenance;
+and [she] sayde; alas! syr, why did you * *
+
+_The remainder of this tale is wanting._
+
+_By this tale ye may se_, that he is not wyse that will put his
+confydence _in bosters_ and great crakers, whiche ofte tymes wyll do but
+ly_tell, when it comes to_ the poynte.
+
+
+
+
++ _Of the shomaker that asked the colyer what tydynges in hell._[119] lxxv.
+
+
++ A souter[120] syttynge in his shope, that sawe a colyer come by,
+_deryded hym_, because he was so blacke, and asked hym, what newes from
+hell and howe the deuyll fared. To whome the colyer answeryd hym: he
+was well, whan I sawe hym laste; for he was rydynge _and waited_ but for
+a souter to plucke on his botes.
+
+By this ye may se that he that vseth to deryde other folkes is somtyme
+him selfe more deryded and mocked.
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[119] The blackness of colliers was employed of course from a very early
+period as a ground for satirical insinuations as to their connection
+with the Evil One. In 1568, Ulpian Fulwell, a distinguished writer of
+the Elizabethan era, published _A Pleasant Interlude intituled Like will
+to Like quoth the Devil to the Collier_; and in the old play of _Grim
+the Collier of Croydon_, the epithet grim was intended to convey a
+similar idea. In _Robin Goodfellow His Mad Pranks and Merry Jests_,
+1628, however, Grim is the name of a Fairy.
+
+[120] Shoemaker or Cobbler. Lat. _Sutor_.
+
+
+
+
++ _Of Seynt Peter that cryed cause bobe._ lxxvi.
+
+
++ I fynde wrytten amonge olde gestes,[121] howe God mayde Saynt Peter
+porter of heuen, and that God of hys goodnes, sone after his passyon,
+suffered many men to come to the kyngdome of Heuen with small
+deseruynge; at whiche tyme there was in heuen a great company of
+Welchemen, whyche with their crakynge and babelynge troubled all the
+other. Wherfore God sayde to saynte Peter, that he was wery of them, and
+that he wolde fayne haue them out of heuen. To whome saynte Peter sayd:
+Good Lorde, I warrente you, that shal be done. Wherfore saynt Peter
+wente out of heuen gates and cryed wyth a loud voyce _Cause bobe_, that
+is as moche to saye as rosted chese, whiche thynge the Welchemen
+herynge, ranne out of Heuen a great pace. And when Saynt Peter sawe them
+all out, he sodenly wente into Heuen, and locked the dore, and so
+sparred all the Welchemen out.
+
+By this ye may se, that it is no wysdome for a man to loue or to set his
+mynde to moche vpon any delycate or worldely pleasure, wherby he shall
+lose the celestyall and eternall ioye.
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[121] It is not very usual to find this word in its jocular sense
+spelled in this manner. It continued to be used in its original
+signification (_action_ or _exploit_) even to the Restoration, perhaps
+later. The most recent example of this employment with which the Editor
+has happened to meet is at p. 29 of Mauley's _Iter Carolinum_, 1660,
+where the writer speaks of "His Majesties Gests from Newcastle to
+Holdenby in Feb. 1646." These _gests_ were certainly no _jests_. Since
+the former part of this note was written a more recent instance of the
+use of _gest_ in the sense in question has occurred to the Editor in the
+_Life and Gests of S. Thomas Cantilupe, Gant_, 1674. 8vo.
+
+
+
+
++ _Of hym that aduenturyd body and soule for hys prynce._ lxxvii.
+
+
++ Two knyghtes there were which wente to a standynge fylde with theyr
+prynce; but one of them was confessed before he wente, but the other
+wente into the felde without shryfte or repentaunce. Afterwarde thys
+prynce wanne the fylde, and had the victory that day; wherfore he that
+was confessed came to the prynce, and asked an offyce and sayd that he
+had deserved it, for he had done good seruice and aduentured that day as
+farre as any man in the felde. To whome the other that was unconfessed
+answered and sayd: nay, by the masse, I am more worthy to haue a rewarde
+than he: for he aduentured but his body for your sake, for he durst nat
+go to the felde tyll he was confessed; _but I that was unconfessed
+adventured my soule_.[122] * * * *
+
+  _The remainder of this tale is wanting._
+
+
+
++ _Of the parson that stale the mylners elys._ lxxviii.
+
+
+_Too imperfect to decypher._
+
+
+
+
++ _Of the Welchman that saw one xls. better than God._ lxxix.
+
+
++ A Welchman on a tyme went to churche to _be shryued, and chanced_ to
+come in euyn at the sacryng-time.[123] When he had _confessed him_ he
+went home, wher one of his felowes askyd hym wh_ether he had seen God_
+Almighty to day; which answerd and sayd: nay, but I saw _one forty
+shillings better_.
+
+
+
+
++ _Of the frere that said dyryge for the hoggys soule._ lxxx.
+
+
++ Upon a tyme certayn women in the countrye were _appoynted[124] to
+dery_de and mokke a frere limitour, that vsed moche to _trouble them_;
+whereupon one of them, a lytyll before the frere came, _tooke a hogge_,
+and for dysport leyd it under the borde after the manner of a corse;
+_and told the_ frere it was her good man and dysyred hime to say dirige
+for his soule. _Where_fore the frere and his felaw began Placebo and
+Dirige and so fo_rth, thorough_ the seruyse full devowtly, which the
+wyues so heryng could not re_fraine_ them selfe from lawghynge and went
+in to a lytyll parler to lawgh _more_ at theyr pleasure. These freris
+somwhat suspected the cause, and quikly, _or_ that the women were ware,
+lokyd under the borde, and spying[125] that it was an hog, sodenly toke
+it bytwene them and bare it homeward as fast as they might. The women,
+seyng that, ran after the frere and cryed: com agayn, maester frere,
+come agayne, and let it allone. Nay by my faith, quod the frere, he is a
+broder of ours, and therefore he must nedys be buryed in oure cloyster.
+And so the frerys gate the hog.
+
+By this ye may se, that they that use to deride and mok other, somtyme
+it tornyth to theyre owne losse and damage.
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[122] The words in Italics are supplied from conjecture. They are not in
+orig. or in Singer.
+
+[123] Sacrament.
+
+[124] Prepared, _i.e._ had made themselves ready.
+
+[125] Orig. reads _spyed_.
+
+
+
+
++ _Of the parson that sayde masse of requiem for Crystes soul._ lxxxi.
+
+
++ A certayn prest there was that dwellyd in the cuntry which was not
+very well lernyd. Therfore on Ester-Euyn he sent his boy to the prest of
+the next town, that was ii. myle from thens, to know what masse he
+sholde synge on the morowe. This boy came to the sayd prest, and dyd his
+maysters errande to hym. Then quod the prest: tel thy mayster that he
+must * *
+
+  _Several lines wanting._
+
+masse he shuld synge on the morowe. By my trothe, _quod the boy_, I have
+forgotten it; but he bad me tell you it began * * * * _Then quod the
+prest_: I trowe thou sayest trewth: for now I remem_ber me it is the
+masse of requiem_: for God Almyghty dyed upon Good Fry_day_, and it _is
+meet we shulde say masse_ for hys soule.
+
+_By thys tale ye may se, that_ when one fole sendyth another fole on hys
+er_rand, hys_ besynes folyshly sped.
+
+
+
+
++ _Of the herdeman that sayde: ryde apace, ye shall haue rayn._ lxxxii.
+
+
++ _A certayne skoler of Oxenford_ which had studied the iudicials of
+astronomy, _upon a tyme as he_ was rydyng by the way, came[126] by a
+herdman; and _he asked thys herdm_an how far it was to the next town.
+Syr, quod the herd_man, it is rather_ past a mile and an half; but, sir,
+quod he, ye nede to ryde _apace: for ye shal h_aue a shower of rayn, or
+ye com thider. What, quod the skoler, _maketh ye say so_? There ys no
+token of rayn: for the cloudes be both fayr and clere. _By my troth_,
+quod the herdman, but ye shall fynd it so. The skoler then rode forth,
+_and it chanced_ or he had ryden half a myle forther, there fell a good
+showre of rayn _and[127] thys_ skoler was well washyd and wett to the
+skyn. The skoler then tornyd _hym backe, and_ rode to the herdman, and
+desyryd hym to tech him that connyng. _Nay_, quod the herdman, I wyll
+not tech you my connynge for nought. Then _the skoler_ profferyde hym xl
+shyllyngs to teche hym that connynge. The herd_man, after_ he had
+reseyuyd hys money, sayd thus: syr, se you not yonder _blacke_ ewe with
+the whyte face? Yes, quod the skoler. Suerly, quod the herdman, when she
+daunsith and holdeth up her tayle, ye shall haue a showre of rayn within
+half an howre after.[128]
+
+By this ye may se, that the connyng of herdmen and shepardes, as
+touchinge alteracyons of weders, is more sure than the iudicials of
+astronomy.
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[126] Orig. reads _which came_.
+
+[127] Singer's conjectural reading is _that_; but _and_ seems to me to
+be the word required.
+
+
+
+
++ _Of hym that sayde: I shall haue nener a peny._ lxxxiii.
+
+
++ In a certayne towne, there was a rych man that lay on his deth bed at
+poynte of deth, whyche chargyd hys executours to dele[129] for hys soule
+a certayne some of money in pence, and on thys condicion chargyd them as
+they would answere afore God, that euery pore man that cam to them and
+told a trew tale shulde haue a peny, and they that said a fals thing
+shuld haue none; and in the dole-tyme there cam one whych sayd that God
+was a good man. Quod the executours: thou shalt haue a peny, for thou
+saist trouth. Anone came a nother and said, the deuil was a good man.
+Quod the executours: there thou lyest; therefore thou shalt haue nere a
+peny. At laste came on[e] to the executors and said thus: ye shall gyue
+me nere a peny: which wordes made the executors amasyd, and toke
+aduysment whyther they shuld * * * *
+
+_The end of this tale is wanting._
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[128] See _Scoggin's Jests_(reprint 1795), p. 47.
+
+[129] Count out.
+
+
+
+
++ _Of the husbande that sayde hys wyfe and he agreed well._ lxxxiv.
+
+
+  _Too imperfect to decypher._
+
+
+
+
++ _Of the prest that sayde Comede episcope._ lxxxv.
+
+
++ In the tyme of visitacyon a bysshoppe, whi_che was maryed_[130] and
+had gote many chyldren, prepared to questyon a preest what rule he
+kepte, whiche preest had a le_man_ * * * * * and by her had two or thre
+small chyldren. In shorte _tyme before the Bys_shoppes commynge, he
+prepared a rowme to hyde his _leman and children_ ouer in the rofe of
+his hall; and whan the bysshoppe was _come and discoursing_ with him in
+the same hall, hauynge x of his owne chyldren about him, _the preest_,
+who coude speke lytell lytyn or none, bad the bysshoppe in latyn * * * *
+Comede,[131] episcope. This woman in rofe of the house, hearing _the
+preest say_ so, had went[132] he had called her, byddynge her: come,
+Ede; and _answered him_ and sayde: shall I brynge my chyldren with me
+also? The bysshoppe, _hearing_ this, sayde in sporte: vxor tua sicut
+vitis abundans in lateribus domus tuae. The preest than, halfe amasyd,
+answerd and sayd: filii tui sicut nouellae oliuarum in circuitu mensae
+tuae.
+
+By this ye may se, that they, that have but small lernyng, som tyme
+speke truely unaduysed.
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[130] These two words are not in orig. or in Singer; but they seem to be
+what the context requires.
+
+
+
+
++ _Of the woman that stale the pot._ lxxxvi.
+
+
++ On Ashe Wednesday in the mornynge, was a curate of a churche whyche
+had made good chere the nyght afore and sytten up late, and came to the
+churche to here confessyon, to whome there came a woman; and among other
+thynges she confessed her that she had stolen a potte. But than, because
+of greate watche that this preest had, he there sodenly felle aslepe;
+and whan this woman sawe him nat wyllynge to here her, she rose and went
+her waye. And anone an other woman kneled down to the same preest and
+began to say: Benedicite; wherwith this preest sodenly awaked, and
+wenynge she had ben the other woman,[133] sayd all angerly, what! arte
+thou nowe at Benedicite agayne? tell me, what dyddest thou whan thou
+haddest stolyn the potte?
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[131] Orig. reads _Comode_.
+
+[132] Weened.
+
+
+
+
++ _Of mayster Whyttynton dreme._[134] lxxxvii.
+
+
++ Sone after one maister Whyttynton had bylded a colege, on a nyght as
+he slepte, he dremed that he satte in his church and many folkes there
+also; and further he dremed that he sawe Our Lady in the same church
+with a glas of goodly oyntemente in her hande goynge to one askynge him
+what he had done for her sake; which sayd that he had sayd Our Ladyes
+sauter[135] euery daye: wherfore she gaue him a lytel of the oyle. And
+anone she wente to another. * * *
+
+  _Several lines wanting._
+
+_he had buylded_ a great college, and was very gladde in hys mynde. _Whan
+that Oure Ladye cam to hym_, she asked him what he hadde suffred for her
+_sake, this_ questyon made him greatly abashed, because he had nothing
+to _answer; wherefore Our Lady_ him informed that for all the great dede
+of buyldynge _of a colege he must haue no parte of_ that goodly
+oyntemente.
+
+_By this ye may perceue_, that to suffre for Goddes sake is more
+_acceptable to God than to buyld or_ gyue great goodes.
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[133] Orig. reads _and_ after _woman_.
+
+[134] The celebrated Sir Richard Whittington. In his _If you know Not me
+you know No Body_, Part ii. 1606, Heywood introduces the following
+dialogue respecting Whittington between Dean Nowell and Old Hobson, the
+haberdasher of the Poultry:--
+
+"_Dr. Now._ This Sir Richard Whittington, three times Mayor, Son to a
+knight, and 'prentice to a mercer, Began the library of Gray-friars in
+London, And his executors after him did build Whittington College,
+thirteen almshouses for poor men, Repair'd Saint Bartholomew's, in
+Smithfield, Glared the Guildhall, and built Newgate.
+
+_Hob._ Bones a me, then, I have heard lies; For I have heard he was a
+scullion, And rais'd himself by venture of a cat.
+
+_Dr. Now._ They did the more wrong to the gentleman."
+
+[135] Psalter.
+
+
+
+
++ _Of the prest that killed his horse called modicus._ lxxxviii.
+
+
++ _A certayne Bysshoppe_ appoynted to go on visytacion to a preeste's;
+_and, bycause he_ would haue the preest do but lyttel coste vpon him, he
+told him to prepare but lytell meate saying thus: Preparas * * * * *
+_modicus_. This preest whyche understode hym nat halfe well, had _some
+desire_,[136] wherfore he thoughte to obtayne the bysshoppes fauour;
+_and therfore againste_ the bysshoppes comynge kylled his horse that
+was _called Modicus_, whereof the bysshoppe and his seruauntes ete
+parte; whiche, _whan the byss_hoppe knewe afterwarde, was greatly
+displeased.
+
+By this ye may se, that many a fole dothe moche coste in makyng _good
+chere_ at dyners, whiche bathe but lytell thanke for his laboure.
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[136] Wanting in orig. and left blank by Singer. I have supplied them
+from conjecture.
+
+
+
+
++ _Of the Welcheman that stale the Englysshmans cocke._ lxxxix.
+
+
++ A Welcheman dwellynge in Englande fortuned to stele an Englysshemans
+cocke, and set it on the fyre to sethe; wherefore thys Englysheman,
+suspecting the Welcheman, came to his house, and sawe the cocke sethyng
+on the fyre and said to the Welcheman thus: syr, this is my cocke. Mary,
+quod the Welcheman; and if it be thyne, thou shalte haue thy parte of
+it. Nay, quod the Englyssheman, that is nat ynoughe. By cottes blut and
+her nayle! quod the Welcheman, if her be nat ynoughe nowe, her will be
+ynoughe anone: for her hath a good fyre under her.
+
+
+
+
++ _Of hym that brought a botell to a preste._ xc.
+
++ Certayne vycars[137] of Poules, disposed to be mery on a Sonday at hye
+masse tyme, sente another madde felowe of theyr acquointance unto a
+folysshe dronken preest to gyue hym a bottell, whiche man met with the
+preest upon the toppe of the stayres by the chauncell dore, and spake to
+him and sayd thus: syr, my mayster hath sente you a bottell to put your
+drynke in, because he can kepe none in your braynes. This preest,
+therwith beynge very angry, all sodenly toke the bottell, and with his
+fote flange it downe into the body of the churche upon the gentylmans
+hede.[138]
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[137] Priests.
+
+
+
+
++ _Of the endytement of Jesu of Nazareth._ xci.
+
+
++ A certayne Jury in the countye of Myddelsex was enpaneled for the
+kynge to enquere of all endytements, murders, and felonyes. The persones
+of this panell were folyshe, couetous and unlerned: for who so euer
+wolde gyue them a grote, they wolde affyne and verifye his byll, whether
+it were true or fals, withoute any profe or euydence; wherefore one that
+was * * * *
+
+  _Some lines wanting._
+
+_the Jury loking_ on the grote and nothing on the byll as was their
+_costome_, which byll whan it was presented into the courte, _the
+judge_ said openly before all the people: lo! syrs, here is the
+_straungest byll euer_ presented by an enquest: for here they haue
+indyted _Jesu of Nazareth_ for stelyng of an asse. Which whan the people
+harde it, it _made them all to laughe_, and to wonder at the folysshenes
+and shamefull periury _of the Jury_.
+
+By this ye may se, it is great parell[139] to enpanell _men upon an_
+enquest, whiche be folysshe and haue but small _witte or honesty_.
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[138] Orig. reads _gentylmens_.
+
+
+
+
++ _Of the frere that preched agaynst them that rode on the Sonday._
+xcii.
+
+
++ In a certayne parryshe, a frere preched and _said moche_ againt them,
+that rode on the Sonday euer lokyng upon _one that was there_, spurred
+redy to ryde. This man, perceuyng that _the frere loked at_ hym, sodenly
+halfe in angre answered the frere thus: _I meruayle that ye say so_
+moche agaynste them that ryde on the Sonday: for Christe _rode into
+Jerusalem_ on Palme Sonday, as thou knowest well it is wrytten * * *
+_To_ whome the frere sodenly answered and sayd thus: _but knowe ye not
+also what came_ thereof? Was he nat hanged on the Fryday after! Whiche
+hearing _all them that were_ in the churche fell on laughynge.
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[139] Peril.
+
+
+
+
++ _Of the one broder that founde a purs._ xciii.
+
+
++ There was a certayne man that had two sonnes unl_yke eche other_. For
+the eldyst was lustye and quycke, and vsed moch_e betimes to_ walke into
+the fyldes. Than was the yonger slowe, and vsed _moche_ to lye in his
+bed as long as he myght. So on a day the elder, as _he was vsed_, rose
+erly and walked into the fyldes; and there by fortune he founde a purse
+of money, and brought it home to his father. His father, whan he had it,
+wente strayght to hys other sonne yet lyenge than in his bed and sayd to
+him: o thou slogarde, quod he, seyst thou nat thyne eldest brother, howe
+he by hys erly rysyng had founde a purse with money whereby we shall be
+greatly holpen all our lyfe, whyle thou sluggynge in thy bedde dost
+no[140] good but slepe? He than wyst nat what to say, but answered
+shortly and said: father, quod he, if he that hathe loste the purse and
+money had lyne in hys bedde that same tyme that he loste it, as I do
+nowe, my brother had founde no purse nor money to day.
+
+By this ye may se, that they that be accustomed in vyce and synne will
+alwaye fynde one excuse or other to cloke therewyth theyr vyce and
+vnthryftynes.
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[140] Orig. reads _thou sluggynge in thy bedde dost thou no good_, which
+repetition of _thou_ seems unnecessary.
+
+
+
+
++ _Of the answere of the mastres to the mayde._ xciv.
+
+
++ A certayne wyfe there was, whiche was somwhat fayre, and, as all women
+be that be fayre, was somwhat proude of her beautye; and as she and her
+mayde satte together, she, as one that was desyrous to be praysed, sayd
+to her thus: I, faythe, Jone, howe thynkest thou? am I nat a fayre wyfe?
+Yes, by my trouth, maistres, quod she, ye be the fayrest that euer was
+excepte * * *
+
+  _The end is wanting._
+
+
+
+
++ _Of the northern man that was all harte._ xcv.
+
+
+  _Of this tale but a small fragment remains._
+
+
+
+
++ _Of the burnynge of olde John._ xcvi.
+
+
++ _In a certayne_ towne there was a wife somewhat aged, that had beryed
+_her husbande_, whose name was John, whome she so tend_erlye loued in
+his_ lyfe, that after hys dethe she caused an ymage of tymber _to be
+made in forme_ and persone as lyke to hym as coulde be; whiche ymage
+_she kept carefully_ under her bedde; and euery nyghte she caused her
+mayde to _wrap the ymage in a shete_ and lay it in her bedde; and called
+it olde John. Thys _widowe had_ a prentyse whose name was John; whiche
+John wolde fayne _haue married hys_ maystres, nat for no great pleasure,
+but onely for her good _substance: for she_ was ryche. Wherefore he
+ymagened howe he myght obtayne hys _desire and so dyd_ speke to the
+mayde of the house, and desyred her to lay hym in hys maystres bedde for
+one nyghte in stede of the pycture,[141] and promysed her a good rewarde
+for her laboure; whyche mayde ouer nyghte wrapped the sayde younge man
+in a shete, and layde hym in his maysters bedde, as she was wonte to
+laye the pycture. Thys wydowe was wonte euery nyght, before she slepte
+and dyuers tymes whan she waked, to kysse the sayde pycture of olde
+John: wherefore the sayde nyghte she kyssed the sayde yonge man,
+beleuynge that she hadde kyste the picture. And he sodenly sterte,[142]
+and toke her in his armes, and so well pleased her than, that olde John
+from thens forth was clene out of her mynde, and [she] was contente
+that this yonge John shulde lye with her styll all that nyghte, and that
+the pycture of olde John shulde lye styll under the bedde for a thynge
+of noughte. After thys in the mornynge, thys wydowe, intendynge to
+please this yonge John whyche had made her so good pastyme all the
+nyght, bad her mayde go dresse some good mete for their brekefast to
+feaste therwith her yonge John. This mayde, whan she had longe sought
+for wode to dresse the sayde mete, told her maystres that she coude
+fynde no wode that was drye, except onelye the pycture of olde John that
+lyeth under the bed. * * * * * * * *
+
+  _Some lines wanting._
+
+and dressyd the brekfast; and so olde John _was brenyd; and_ from thens
+forth yong John occupyed _his place_.
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[141] Not here put as a painting, but in a general sense, as a
+representation.
+
+[142] The old perfect of _start_. The orig. reads _starte_.
+
+
+
+
++ _Of the courtear that ete the hot custarde._ xcvii.
+
+
++ A certayne merchaunt and a courtear, _being upon a time together_ at
+dyner hauing a hote custerd, _the courtear being_ somwhat homely of
+maner toke _parte of it and put it_ in hys mouth, whych was so hote that
+made him _shed teares. The_ merchaunt, lokyng on him, thought that he
+had _ben weeping, and asked hym why_ he wept. This curtear, not wyllynge
+[it] to be kn_own that he had brent his_ mouth with the hote custerd,
+answered and said, sir: q_uod he, I had_ a brother whych dyd a certayn
+offence wherfore he was hanged; _and, chauncing_ to think now vppon his
+deth, it maketh me to wepe. This merchaunt thought the courtear had said
+trew, and anon after the merchaunt was disposid to ete _of the custerd_,
+and put a sponefull of it in his mouth, and brent his mouth also, that
+his _eyes watered_. This courtear, that perceuyng, spake to the
+merchaunt and seyd: sir, quod _he, pray_ why do ye wepe now? The
+merchaunt perseyued how he had _bene deceiued_ and said[143]: mary, quod
+he, I wepe, because thou wast not hangid, _when that_ thy brother was
+hangyd.
+
+
+
+
++ _Of the thre pointes belonging to a shrewd wyfe._ xcix.
+
+
++ A yong man, that was desirous to haue a wyf, cam to a company _of
+Phi_losofers which were gadred to gider, requiring them to gif _him
+their opinion_ howe he might chose him sich a wyf that wer no shrew.
+Th_ese Philos_ofers with gret study and delyberacion determinid and
+shewd this man that there _were iii espe_cial pointes, wherebi he shuld
+sure know if a woman were a shrew. The _i point is_ that if a woman have
+a shril voyce, it is a gret token that she is a shrew. The ii point is
+that, if a woman have a sharp nose, then most commenly she is a shrew.
+_The_ iii point that neuer doth mis is[144] that if she were [a]
+kerchefer,[145] ye may be sure she is a shrew.
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[143] Singer inserts _answered_ before _and said_; but the word does not
+appear to be required.
+
+
+
+
++ _Of the man that paynted the lamb upon his wyfes bely._ c.
+
+
++ A Conning painter ther was dwelling in London, which had a fayre yong
+wife, and for thingis that he had to do went ouer se; but because he was
+somwhat jelous, he praed his wyfe to be content, that he might paint a
+lamb upon her bely, and praed her it might remain ther, til he cam home
+again; wherewith she was content. After which lamb so painted he
+departid; and sone after that, a lusti yong merchaunt, a bacheler, came
+and woed his wyf, and obteined her fauor, so that she was content he
+shuld lye with her; which resortid to her and had his plesure oftymes;
+and on a time he toke a pensell, and to the lamb he painted ii hornys,
+wening to the wif that he had but refreshed the old painting. Than at
+the last, about a yere after, her husband cam home again, and the first
+night he lay with his wyfe, he loked uppon his wifes bely, and saw the
+ii hornes painted there. He said to his wif, that some other body had
+ben besy there, and made a new painting: for the picture that he painted
+had no hornes and this hath hornes; to whome this wif shortly * *
+* *
+
+  _cetera desunt._
+
+  _Here endeth the booke of a C. mery Talys. Imprinted
+  at London at the sygne of the meremayde
+  at powlys gate nexte to chepesyde._
+
+  + _Cum priuelegio Regali._
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[144] Orig. reads _the iii point is that never mis that, &c._
+
+[145] A very costly article of female dress during the reigns of the
+Tudor and Stuart sovereigns. It constituted part of the head-gear, and
+from the way in which it was worn by some women, was calculated to
+convey a notion of skittishness. In the _New Courtly Sonet of the Lady
+Greensleeves_, printed in Robinson's "Handful of Pleasant Delites,"
+1584, the lover is made to say to his mistress:--
+
+"I bought three kerchers to thy head, That were wrought fine and
+gallantly: I kept thee both at board and bed, Which cost my purse
+well-favourdly."
+
+
+
+
+ADDITIONAL NOTES AND ILLUSTRATIONS.
+
+
+A C. MERY TALYS.
+
+Introduction, vi.--I might have mentioned that Taylor the Water-Poet
+cites _The Hundred Merry Tales_ as one of the authorities employed by
+him in the composition of his _Sir Gregory Nonsense His Newes from No
+Place_, 1622 (Taylor's Works, 1630), and see also Epistle Dedicatory to
+Meredith's _Eusebius_, 1577.
+
+P. 19.--This story is found in the _Ducento Novelle_ of Celio Malespini,
+printed at Venice, 1609, 4o.
+
+P. 22. _Of the Woman that sayd her Woer cam too late._
+
+  "If thou be slow to speake, as one I knew,
+  Thou wouldst assure thy selfe my counsels true;
+  Hee (too late) finding her upon her knees
+  In Church, where yet her husbands coorse she sees,
+  Hearing the Sermon at his funerall,
+  Longing to behold his buriall,
+  This sutor being toucht with inward love,
+  Approached neare his lovely sute to move,
+  Then stooping downe he whispered in her eare
+  Saying he bore her love, as might appeare,
+  In that so soone he shewed his love unto her,
+  Before any else did app[r]och to woo her,
+  Alass (said she) your labour is in vaine,
+  Last night a husband I did entertaine."
+
+--_Uncasing of Machivils Instructions to his Sonne_, 1612,
+Sign. C 3. Stories of this kind are of very common occurrence in the
+modern collections of facetiae.
+
+P. 23. "When Davie Diker diggs, and dallies not,
+       When smithes shoo horses, as they would be shod,
+      _When millers toll not with a golden thumbe_."
+
+--_The Steel Glas, a Satyre_, by George Gascoigne, Esquire (1576), Sign.
+H 3 verso.
+
+A writer in the _Retrospective Review_, New Series, ii. 326, states that
+this story of the "Miller with the golden thumb" "is still (1854) a
+favourite in Yorkshire."
+
+P. 30. _Stumble at a Straw, &c._--This proverb is quoted in _Machivils
+Instructions to his Sonne_, 1613, p. 16.
+
+P. 35. _Of the good man that sayd to his wyfe. &c._
+
+"Dr. _South_, visiting a gentleman one morning, was ask'd to stay
+Dinner, which he accepted of; the Gentleman stept into the next Room and
+told his Wife, and desired she'd provide something extraordinary.
+Hereupon she began to murmer and scold, and make a thousand Words; till
+at length, Her husband, provok'd at her Behaviour, protested, that if it
+was not for the Stranger in the next Room, he would kick her out of
+Doors. Upon which the Doctor, who heard all that passed, immediately
+stept out, crying, _I beg, Sir, you'll make no Stranger of me_."
+
+--_Complete London Jester_, ed. 1771, p. 73.
+
+P. 44. _Draughthole._--See Dekker's _Guls' Horn Book_, 1609, ed. Nott,
+p. 121-2-3.
+
+P. 47. _Saynte Thomas of Acres._
+
+  "A the Austen fryers
+  They count us for lyers:
+  And at Saynt Thomas of Akers
+  They carpe us lyke crakers."
+
+  --Skelton's _Colin Clout_ (Works, ed. Dyce, i. 357).
+
+This tale is imitated in _Hobson's Conceits_.
+
+P. 60. _Of the gentylman, that promysed the scoler of Oxforde a sarcenet
+typet_--Sarcenet, at the period to which this story refers, was a
+material which only certain persons were allowed to wear. See Nicolas'
+note to a passage in the _Privy Purse Expenses of Elizabeth of York_, p.
+220. This jest is transplanted by Johnson, with very little alteration,
+into the _Pleasant Conceits of Old Hobson_, 1607.
+
+P. 78. _Therefore I pray thee, teche me my Pater noster, and by my
+truthe, I shall therfore teche thee a songe of Robyn Hode that shall be
+worth xx of it!_
+
+The following passage from a poem, which has been sometimes ascribed to
+Skelton, is a curious illustration of this paragraph:--
+
+  Thus these sysmatickes,
+  And lowsy lunatickes,
+  With spurres and prickes
+  Call true men heretickes.
+  They finger their fidles,
+  And cry in quinibles,
+  Away these bibles,
+  For they be but ridles!
+  And give them Robyn Whode,
+  To red howe he stode
+  In mery grene wode,
+  When he gathered good,
+  Before Noyes ffloodd!
+
+  _The Image of Ipocrysy_, Part iii.
+
+P. 84. _Of the wyfe that bad, &c._
+
+_Of swearing between a wyfe and her husband._
+
+  "Cis, by this candle in my sleep I thought
+  One told me of thy body thou wert nought.
+  Good husband, he that told you ly'd, she said,
+  And swearing, laid her hand upon the bread.
+  Then eat the bread, quoth he, that I may deem
+  That fancie false, that true to me did seem.
+  Nay, sir, said she, the matter well to handle,
+  Since you swore first, you first shall eat the candle."
+
+_Wits Interpreter, the English Parnassus_, By John Cotgrave, 1662, p. 286.
+
+P. 87. _Of the man that had the dome wyfe._
+
+  "A certain man, as fortune fel,
+  A woman tungles wedded to wive,
+  Whose frowning countenance perceivig by live
+  Til he might know what she ment he thought long,
+  And wished ful oft she had a tung.
+  The devil was redy, and appeered anon,
+  An aspin lefe he bid the man take,
+  And in her mouth should put but one,
+  A tung, said the devil, it shall her make;
+  Til he had doon his hed did ake;
+  Leaves he gathered, and took plentie,
+  And in her mouth put two or three.
+  Within a while the medicine wrought:
+  The man could tarry no longer time,
+  But wakened her, to the end he mought
+  The vertue knowe of the medicine;
+  The first woord she spake to him
+  She said: 'thou whoresonne knave and theef,
+  How durst thou waken me, with a mischeef!'
+    From that day forward she never ceased.
+  Her boistrous bable greeved him sore:
+  The devil he met, and him entreated
+  To make her tungles, as she was before;
+  'Not so,' said the devil, 'I will meddle no more.
+  A devil a woman to speak may constrain,
+  But all that in hel be, cannot let it again.'"
+
+_Schole-house of Women_, 1542 (Utterson's _Select Pieces of Early
+Popular Poetry_, ii. 74).
+
+P. 89. _Of the Proctour of Arches that had the lytel wyfe._
+
+"One ask'd his Friend, why he, so proper a Man himself, marry'd so small
+a Wyfe? _Why_, said he, _I thought you had known, that of all evils we
+should chuse the least_."--_Complete London Jester_, ed. 1771, p. 65.
+
+P. 92. _Of him that wolde gette, &c._
+
+In the _Scholehouse of Women_, 1542, the same story is differently
+related:--
+
+  "A husband man, having good trust
+  His wife to him bad be agreeable,
+  Thought to attempt if she had be reformable,
+  Bad her take the pot, that sod over the fire,
+  And set it aboove upon the astire.
+    She answered him: 'I hold thee mad,
+  And I more fool, by Saint Martine;
+  Thy dinner is redy, as thou me bad,
+  And time it were that thou shouldst dine,
+  And thou wilt not, I will go to mine.'
+  'I bid thee (said he) vere up the pot.'
+  'A ha! (she said) I trow thou dote,'
+    Up she goeth for fear, at last,
+  No question mooved where it should stand
+  Upon his hed the pottage she cast,
+  And heeld the pot stil in her hand.
+  Said and swore, he might her trust,
+  She would with the pottage do what her lust."
+
+As this story in the _C. Mery Talys_ is defective in consequence of the
+mutilation of the only known copy, the foregoing extract becomes
+valuable, as it exhibits what was probably the sequel in the prose
+version, from which the author of the _Scholehouse of Women_ was no
+doubt a borrower.
+
+P. 101. _If a thousande soules may dance on a mannes nayle._--This is a
+different form of the common saying that a thousand angels can stand on
+the point of the needle. "One querying another, whether a thousand
+angels might stand on the point of a needle, another replied, 'That was
+a _needles_ point.'"--Ward's _Diary_, ed. 1839, p. 94.
+
+P. 106. Scot, in his _Discovery of Witchcraft_, 1584, ed. 1651, p. 191,
+has a story, which bears the mark of being the same as the one here
+entitled "Of the parson that stale the mylner's elys." The passage in
+Scot, which may help to supply the unfortunate _lacuna_ in the _C. Mery
+Talys_, is as follows:--
+
+"So it was, that a certain Sir John, with some of his company, once went
+abroad jetting, and in a moon-light evening, robbed a miller's weire and
+stole all his eeles. The poor miller made his mone to Sir John himself,
+who willed him to be quiet; for he would so curse the theef, and
+all his confederates, with bell, book, and candel, that they should have
+small joy of their fish. And therefore the next Sunday, Sir John got him
+to the pulpit, with his surplisse on his back, and his stole about his
+neck, and pronounced these words following in the audience of the
+people:--
+
+  'All you that have stolne the millers eeles,
+    _Laudate Dominum de coelis_,
+  And all they that have consented thereto,
+    _Benedicamus Domino_.'
+
+Lo (saith he), there is savoe for your eeles, my masters."
+
+P. 108. _Of the parson that sayde masse of requiem, &c._--This story is
+also in _Scoggin's Jests_, 1626, and perhaps the lacunae may be supplied
+from that source. Thus (the words supplied from _Scoggin's Jests_ are in
+italics):--
+
+"Then quod the prest: tel thy mayster that he must _say the Masse which
+doth begin with a great R_. [when the boy returned, the Prest asked him
+whether the Parson had told him what] masse, &c."
+
+And again, a line or two lower down, there can be no doubt, on a
+comparison of Scoggin's Jests, p. 74, what the missing words are. We
+ought to read:--"but he had me tell you it began _with a great R_."
+
+[Illustration: Johannes Ractell]
+
+
+
+
+  + Tales, and quicke
+
+  answers, very mery,
+
+  and pleasant to
+
+  rede.
+
+
+  _Mery_
+
+  Tales, Wittie
+
+  _Questions_
+
+  and Quicke Answeres,
+
+  Very pleasant to
+  be Readde.
+
+
+  IMPRINTED
+
+  _at London
+
+  in Fleete strete, by_
+
+  H. Wykes.
+
+  1567.
+
+
+
+
+The Table.
+
+                                                                    PAGE
+
+  + _Of hym that rode out of London, and had his
+  seruaunt folowynge hym on foote._ i.                                15
+
+  + _Of hym that preached on saynte Christofers
+  day._ ii.                                                           16
+
+  + _Of the frenche man that stroue with the
+  Fanwaye for his armes._ iii.                                      _ib._
+
+  + _Of the curate that sayde our lorde fedde fyue
+  hundred persones._ iiii.                                            17
+
+  + _Of hym that profered his doughter to one
+  in maryage._ v.                                                     18
+
+  + _Of the men of the countrey, that came to
+  London to bye a crucifixe of wodde._ vi.                          _ib._
+
+  + _Of hym that folowed his wyfe to buryeng._ vii.                   19
+
+  + _Of hym that felle in to the fyre._ viii.                       _ib._
+
+  + _Of hym that used to calle his seruaunte the
+  kynge of fooles._ ix.                                               20
+
+  + _Of the yonge woman, that sorowed so greatly
+  the deathe of her husbande._ x.                                     21
+
+  + _Of hym that kyssed the fayre mayde with the
+  longe nose._ xi.                                                  _ib._
+
+  + _Of the uplandysshe mans answere concernyng
+  the steple and pulpytte._ xii.                                      23
+
+  + _Of the beggers aunswere to mayster Skelton
+  the poete._ xiii.                                                 _ib._
+
+  + _Of the chaplen that sayde our ladye mattens
+  lyenge in his bedde._ xiiii.                                        24
+
+  + _Of hym that loste his purse in London._ xv.                      25
+
+  + _Of the marchaunt that loste his boudget betwene
+  ware and London._ xvi.                                              26
+
+  + _Of him that was called kockold._ xvii.                           27
+
+  + _Of the iolus man._ xviii.                                        28
+
+  + _Of the fat woman that sat and solde frute._ xix.               _ib._
+
+  + _Of a poller that begyled a preste._ xx.                          29
+
+  + _Of Papirius pretextatus._ xxi.                                   31
+
+  + _Of the corrupte man of lawe._ xxii.                              33
+
+  + _Of kynge Lowes of Fraunce and the husbandman
+  Conon._ xxiii.                                                      34
+
+  + _Of a picke thanke, that thought to begyle the
+  same moste prudent kynge._ xxiiii.                                  37
+
+  + _Of Thales the great astronomer, the whiche
+  felle in to a ditche._ xxv.                                         38
+
+  + _Of the astronomer that theues robbed._ xxvi.                     39
+
+  + _Of the plough man that wolde saye his pater
+  noster with a stedfast mynde._ xxvii.                             _ib._
+
+  + _Of him that dreamed he founde golde._ xxviii.                    40
+
+  + _Of the crakynge yonge gentyll man that wolde
+  ouerthrowe his enemys a myle of._ xxix.                             42
+
+  + _Of him that fell of a tre and brake a rybbe in
+  his syde._ xxx.                                                     44
+
+  + _Of the fryer that brayed in his sermon._                         45
+
+  + _The oration of th ambassadour that was sent
+  to Pope Urban._ xxxii.                                              46
+
+  + _Of the ambassadour that was sent to the prince
+  Agis._ xxxiii.                                                      47
+
+  + _The answere of Cleomenes to the Samiens
+  ambassadour._ xxxiiii.                                            _ib._
+
+  + _Of the wyse man Piso, and his seruant._ xxxv.                    48
+
+  + _Of the marchant that made a wager with his
+  lorde._ xxxvi.                                                      49
+
+  + _Of the scrowes that the frier gaue out against
+  the pestilence._ xxxvii.                                            51
+
+  + _Of the physition that used to wryte bylles
+  ouer nyght called resceytes._ xxxviii.                              52
+
+  + _Of him that wolde confesse him by a lybell in
+  wrytynge._ xxxix.                                                   53
+
+  + _Of the hermite of Padowe._ xl.                                   54
+
+  + _Of the uplandissh man that saw the kyng._ xli.                   56
+
+  + _Of the courtier that bade the boye to holde his
+  horse._ xlii.                                                       57
+
+  + _Of the deceytfull scriuener._ xliii.                            _ib._
+
+  + _Of him that sayde he beleved his wyfe better
+  than other, that she was chaste._ xliiii.                           59
+
+  + _Of him that paid his det with cryeng bea._ xlv.                  60
+
+  + _Of the woman that appeled from kynge Philip
+  to kynge Philip._ xlvi.                                             62
+
+  + _Of the olde woman that prayd for the welfare
+  of the tyran Denyse._ xlvii.                                        63
+
+  + _Of the phisitian Eumonus._ xlviii.                               64
+
+  + _Of Socrates and his scoldynge wyfe._ xlix.                       65
+
+  + _Of the phisitian that bare his pacient on hand
+  he had eaten an asse._ l.                                         _ib._
+
+  + _Of the inholders wyfe, and her ii louers._ li.                   67
+
+  + _Of hym that healed franticke men._ lii.                          68
+
+  + _Of hym that sayd he was nat worthy to open
+  the gate to the kynge._ liii.                                       70
+
+  + _Of Mayster Uauasour and Turpyn his manne._
+  liiii.                                                            _ib._
+
+  + _Of hym that sought his wyfe, that was drowned,
+  agaynst the streme._ lv.                                            72
+
+  + _Of hym that at a skyrmyssh defended hym
+  valiauntly with his feete._ lvi.                                    73
+
+  + _Of hym that wolde gyue a songe to the tauerner
+  for his dyner._ lvii.                                               74
+
+  + _Of the foole that thought him selfe deed, whan
+  he was a lyue._ lviii.                                              75
+
+  + _Of the olde man and his sonne that brought
+  his asse to the towne to sylle._ lix.                               78
+
+  + _Of him that sought his asse, and rode upon his
+  backe._ lx.                                                         80
+
+  + _The answere of Fabius to Liuius._ lxi.                           81
+
+  + _The answere of Poltis the kynge of Trace to
+  the Troyan ambassadours._ lxii.                                     82
+
+  + _The wyse answere of Haniball to kynge Antiochus
+  concerninge his ryche army._ lxiii.                                 83
+
+  + _The wordes of Popilius the Romayn ambassadour
+  to Antiochus the kynge._ lxiiii.                                  _ib._
+
+  + _Of hym that loued the marchantes wyfe._ lxv.                     84
+
+  + _Of the woman that couered her heed, and
+  shewed up her tayle._ lxvi.                                         86
+
+  + _How Alexander was monisshed to slee the
+  firste that he mette. lxvii._                                     _ib._
+
+  + _How the aunciente cyte of Lamsac was saued
+  from destruction._ lxviii.                                          87
+
+  + _Howe Demosthenes defended a mayde._ lxix.                        88
+
+  + _Of him that desyred to be a gentylman._ lxx.                     89
+
+  + _Of the gentyllman and his shrewd wife._ lxxi.                    90
+
+  + _Of the two yonge men that rode to Walsyngham
+  to gether._ lxxii.                                                  91
+
+  + _Of the yong man of Brugis and his spouse._
+  lxxiii.                                                             92
+
+  + _Of him that made as he hadde ben a chaste
+  lyuer._ lxxiiii.                                                    93
+
+  + _Of him that the olde roode fell on._ lxxv.                       94
+
+  + _Of the wydowe that wolde not wedde for bodily
+  pleasure._ lxxvi.                                                   95
+
+  + _Of the couetous ambassadour, that wolde here
+  no musike for sparinge of his purse._ lxxvii.                     _ib._
+
+  + _Howe Denyse the tyran of Syracuse serued
+  a couetouse man._ lxxix.                                            97
+
+  + _Of the old man that quyngered the boy oute of
+  the aple tre with stones._ lxxx.                                    98
+
+  + _Of the ryche man that was sycke and wolde
+  not receyue a glyster._ lxxxi.                                      99
+
+  + _Of him that feyned him selfe deed, to proue
+  what his wyfe wolde do._ lxxxii.                                  _ib._
+
+  + _Of the poure man, in to whose house theues
+  brake by nyght._ lxxxiii.                                          101
+
+  + _Of him that shulde haue ben hanged for his
+  scoffinge and his iestynge._ lxxxiiii.                            _ib._
+
+  + _Of him that had his goose stole._ lxxxv.                        102
+
+  + _Of the begger that sayde he was of kynne to
+  kynge Phylip of Macedone._ lxxxvi.                                 103
+
+  + _Of Dantes answere to the iester._ lxxxvii.                     _ib._
+
+  + _Of hym that had sore eies._ lxxxviii.                           104
+
+  + _Of the olde woman that had sore eies._ lxxxix.                  105
+
+  + _Of hym that had the custody of a warde._  xc.                   106
+
+  + _Of the excellente peynter, that hadde foule
+  chyldren._ xci.                                                   _ib._
+
+  + _Of the scoffer that made one a southsayer._ xcii.               107
+
+  + _Of the marchant of Florence, Charles._ xciii.                  _ib._
+
+  + _Of the chesshire man called Eulyn._ xciiii.                     108
+
+  + _Of hym that desyred to be sette vpon the
+  pyllorye._ xcv.                                                    109
+
+  + _Of the wydowes daughter, that was sente to
+  the abbot with a couple of capons._ xcvi.                          111
+
+  + _Of the two men that dranke a pynte of whyte
+  wyne to gether._ xcvii.                                            112
+
+  + _Of the doctour that desyred to go with a fouler
+  to catche byrdes._ xcviii.                                         114
+
+  + _Of hym that undertoke to teache an asse to
+  spelle and rede._ xcix.                                            115
+
+  + _Of the fryer that confessed the fayre woman._ c.                116
+
+  + _Of the chapplen of Louen called syr Antonye
+  that deceyued an vserer._ ci.                                      118
+
+  + _Of the same chaplen and his spiter._ cii.                       119
+
+  + _Of the olde manne that putte hym selfe in his
+  sonnes handes._ ciii.                                              121
+
+  + _Of hym that had a flye peynted in his shilde._
+  ciiii.                                                             122
+
+  + _Of the emperour Augustus and the olde men._ cv.                 123
+
+  + _Of Phocions oration to the Atheniens._ cvi.                    _ib._
+
+  + _Of Demosthenes and Phocion._ cvii.                              124
+
+  + _Of the aunswere of Phocion to them that brought
+  hym a great gyfte from Alexander._ cviii.                         _ib._
+
+  + _Of Denyse the tyran and his sonne._ cix.                        125
+
+  + _Of Pomponius the Romayne that was taken
+  and brought before Mithridates._ cx.                              _ib._
+
+  + _Of Titus and the scoffer._ cxi.                                 126
+
+  + _Of Scipio Nasica, and Ennius the poete._ cxii.                 _ib._
+
+  + _Of Fabius Minutius and his sonne._ cxiii.                       127
+
+  + _Of Aurelian the emperour, that was displeased,
+  bycause the citie Tyana was closed
+  agaynste him._ cxiiii.                                             128
+
+  + _Of the Nunne forced that durst not crie._ cxv.                  129
+
+  + _Of him that sayde he was the Diuelles man._
+  cxvi.                                                             _ib._
+
+  + _Of the vplandishe priest, that preached of
+  Charitie._ cxvii.                                                  130
+
+  + _An other sayinge of the same preest._ cxviii.                   131
+
+  + _Of the fryer that praysed sainct Frauncis._
+  cxix.                                                              133
+
+  + _Of hym that warned his wife of wasshynge her
+  face in foule puddell water._ cxx.                                _ib._
+
+  + _Of the husband man that caused his iudge to
+  geue sentence agaynst him selfe._ cxxi.                            134
+
+  + _Of the Italian frier that shoulde preach before
+  the B. of Rome and his cardinals._ cxxii.                         _ib._
+
+  + _Of the doctour that sayd, in Erasmus workes
+  were heresies._ cxxiii.                                            136
+
+  + _Of the frier that preached at Paules crosse
+  agaynst Erasmus._ cxxiiii.                                         137
+
+  + _Of an other frier that taxed Erasmus for
+  writyng Germana theologia._ cxxv.                                  138
+
+  + _Of an other that inueighed agaynst the same
+  Erasmus._ cxxvi.                                                  _ib._
+
+  + _Of kyng Richarde the iii. and the Northern
+  man._ cxxvii.                                                      139
+
+  + _Of the Canon and his man._ cxxviii.                             140
+
+  + _Of the same Canon and his sayd man._ cxxix.                    _ib._
+
+  + _Of the gentilman that checked hys seruant
+  for talke of ryngyng._ cxxx.                                       141
+
+  + _Of the blynde man and his boye._ cxxxi.                         142
+
+  + _Of him that sold two lodes of hey._ cxxxii.                    _ib._
+
+  + _How a mery man deuised to cal people to a
+  playe._ cxxxiii.                                                   145
+
+  + _How the image of the dyuell was lost and
+  sought._ cxxxiiii.                                                 148
+
+  + _Of Tachas, kyng of Aegypt, and Agesilaus._
+  cxxxv.                                                             149
+
+  + _Of Corar the Rhetorician, and Tisias hys
+  scoler._ cxxxvi.                                                   150
+
+  + _Of Augustus and Athenodorus the Phylosopher._
+  cxxxvii.                                                           151
+
+  + _Of the frenche kyng and the brome seller._
+  cxxxviii.                                                          152
+
+  + _An other tale of the same frenche kyng._
+  cxxxix.                                                            153
+
+  + _What an Italyan fryer dyd in his preaching._
+  cxl.                                                               155
+
+
+
+
+TALES
+
+AND
+
+QUICKE ANSWERES.
+
+
+
+
++ _Of hym that rode out of London and had his seruaunt folowynge on
+foote._ i.
+
+
++ There was a manne on a tyme that rode v myle out of London, and had
+his seruaunt folowyng after hym on fote, the whiche came so nere, that
+the horse strake hym a great stroke vpon the thye. The seruaunte,
+thynkynge to be reuenged, toke and threwe a great stone at the horse,
+and hytte his mayster on the raynes of the backe, who thought it had
+bene his horse. He within a whyle loked backe and chydde his seruaunte,
+bycause he came haltynge so farre behynde. The seruaunt aunswered: Sir,
+your horse hath gyuen me suche a stroke vpon my thygh, that I can go no
+faster. Trewely, sayde his mayster, the horse is a great kyckar, for
+lyke-wyse with his hele right nowe[146] he gaue me a great stroke vpon
+the raynes of my backe.
+
+
+
+
++ _Of hym that preched on saynt Chrystophers day._ ii.
+
+
++ A fryere that preached vpon a saynt Christofers daye, greatly laudynge
+saynte Christopher, sayde: what a prerogatyue hadde he here in erthe in
+his armes to beare our Sauioure! was there euer any lyke hym in grace? A
+homely blount felowe, heryng hym aske twyse or thryse that question so
+ernestly, answered: yes, mary: the asse that bare both hym and his
+mother.
+
+
+
+
++ _Of the frenche man, that stroue with the Janway for his armes._ iii.
+
+
++ There was one amonge the Janwayes[147] that the Frenche kyng had hyred
+to make warre agaynst the Englysshe men, which bare an oxe heed paynted
+in his shelde: the whiche shelde a noble man of France challenged: and
+so longe they stroue, that they must needs fyght for it. So, at a day
+and place appoynted, the frenche gallaunt came into the felde, rychely
+armed at all peces.[148] The Janway all vnarmed came also in to the
+felde, and said to the frenche man: wherfore shall we this day fyght?
+Mary, sayd the frenche man, I wyll make good with my body, that these
+armes were myne auncetours' before thyne. What were your auncetours'
+armes, quod the Janwaye? An oxe heed, sayd the frenche man. Than, sayde
+the Janwaye, here needeth no batayle: for this that I beare is a cowes
+heed.
+
+By thys tale ye perceyue howe nycely the vayne braggynge of the frenche
+man was deryded.
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[146] Just now.
+
+[147] The Genoese.
+
+
+
+
++ _Of the curate that sayde our Lorde fedde U. C. persons._ iiii.
+
+
++ A certayne curate, preachynge on a tyme to his parysshens sayde, that
+our Lorde with fyue loues fedde v hundred persones. The clerke, herynge
+hym fayle,[149] sayde softely in his eare: Sir, ye erre; the gospell is
+v. thousande. Holde thy peace, foole, said the curate; they wyll scantly
+beleue, that they were fyue hundred.
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[148] At all points.
+
+[149] Make a mistake.
+
+
+
+
++ _Of hym that profered his doughter in mariage._ v.
+
+
++ There was a man vpon a tyme, whiche profered his doughter to a yonge
+man in mariage, the which yonge manne refused her, sayenge, that she was
+to yonge to be maryed. I wys, quod her foolysshe father, she is more
+able than ye wene. For she hath borne iii. children by our parysshe
+cleeke.
+
+Lo, by this tale ye se, that foles can nat telle what and whan to
+speake: therfore it were best for them to kepe alway silence.
+
+
+
+
++ _Of them that came to London to bye a Crucifixe._ vi.
+
+
++ There were certayne men vpon a tyme sent out of a village to London to
+bye a Crucifixe of wodde. The Caruer that they came to, seynge and
+herynge by theyr wordes, that they were but folysshe blount felowes,
+asked them, whether they wolde haue the ymage a lyue or elles deade;
+whiche question so abasshed them, that they went a syde to deuyse
+whether[150] was beste. So whan they had spoken priuely to gether, they
+came to the caruer agayne and said they wold haue the image a lyue:
+for, if theyr neighbours at home where nat so contente, they myghte
+lyghtly[151] kylle hym.
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[150] Which of the two.
+
+
+
+
++ _Of hym that folowed his wyfe to buryenge._ vii.
+
+
++ A man, that wepynge folowed his wyfe to buryenge, rebuked his lyttel
+sonne, that wente with hym, because he sange, sayenge that he was
+peuysshe and madde to synge at his mothers buryenge, but he shulde
+rather be sory and wepe. The chylde answered: father, seynge ye gyue to
+these prestes money to synge at my mothers buryenge, why be ye angry
+with me, that aske you nothynge for my syngynge? His father aunswered:
+the preestes offyce and thyne is nat all one.
+
+By thys tale ye may perceyue that all thynges beseme nat euery body.
+
+
+
+
++ _Of hym that felle into the fyre._ viii.
+
+
++ A felowe, that was frowarde to his wyfe, vsed to be oute drynkynge
+many tymes verye late. So on a nyghte he taryed so longe oute, that his
+wyfe wente to bedde, and badde her mayde make a good fyre, and tarye vp
+for hym. About xij. of the clocke home he came, and as he stode warmynge
+him by the fyre his heed was so tottye,[152] that he felle into the
+fyre. The mayde, seing him fall, ranne vp cryenge to her maistres, and
+sayd: Alas! my maister is fallen and lyeth longe straughte in the fyre.
+No force,[153] mayde, said her maistres, let him lye and take his
+pleasure in his owne house, where so euer him listeth.
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[151] A too literal translation of the French word _legierement_, which
+ought here to have been rendered _readily_, rather than _lightly_.
+
+
+
+
++ _Of him that vsed to cal his servant the kinge of foles._ ix.
+
+
++ There was a man that had a dulle lumpisshe felow to his seruant,
+wherfore he vsed commonly to call him the kinge of fooles. The felow at
+laste waxed angry in his minde to be alway so called and sayde to his
+mayster: I wolde that I were the kinge of foles: for then no man coulde
+compare with me in largenes of kingedome, and also you shulde be my
+subiect. By this one may perceiue, that to moch of one thing is not
+good: many one calleth an other fole, and is more fole him selfe.
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[152] Giddy.
+
+[153] No matter.
+
+
+
+
++ _Of the yonge woman that sorowed so greatly her husbondes deth._ x.
+
+
++ There was a yonge woman, the whiche for her husbande, that laye a
+dyenge, sorowed oute of all measure, wherfore her father came often to
+her and sayde: daughter, leaue your mourninge: for I haue prouyded for
+you a nother husbande, a farre more goodly man. But she did nat onely
+continue in her sorowe, but also was greatly displeased, that her father
+made any motion to her of an other husbande. As sone as she had buryed
+her husbande, and the soule masse was songe, and that they were at
+dyner, betwene sobbynge and wepynge she rowned[154] her father in the
+eare, and sayde: father, where is the same yonge man, that ye said shuld
+be min husbande? Lo, thus may ye se, that women sorowe ryght longe,
+after theyr husbondes be departed to God.
+
+
+
+
++ _Of him that kissed the mayd with the longe nose._ xi.
+
+
++ A bablynge gentylman, the whiche on a tyme wolde haue bassed[155] a
+fayre mayde, that had nat the leest nose, sayde: how shulde I kysse you:
+youre nose wyll not suffre our lyppes to mete? The mayden, waxinge
+shamfast and angrye in her mynde (for with his scoffe he a lyttell
+touched her) answered on this wyse: syr, if ye can not kysse my mouth
+for my nose, ye may kysse me there as I haue nere a nose.
+
+Ye may by this tale lerne, that it is folye so to scoffe, that youre
+selfe therby shulde be laughed to scorne agayne. One that is
+ouer-couetous ought nat to attwite[156] an other of prodigalite. Thou
+arte her brother (sayd Alcmeon to Adrastus) that slewe her husbande. But
+he blamed nat Alcmeon for an others faute, but obiected against him his
+owne. Thou hast with thy hande (sayd he) slayne thin owne mother. It is
+nat ynough to haue rebukes redie, and to speke vyle wordes agaynst
+other: for he, that so shuld do, ought to be without any vyce. For of
+all men, sayth Plutarchus, he ought to be innocent and haue the lyfe
+vnculpable, that wolde reprehende the fautes of other. The lyttell
+morall boke[157] sayth:
+
+  It is a foule thynge worthye rebuke and blame
+  A vyce to reprehende and do the same.
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[154] Whispered--_Singer_.
+
+[155] Kissed, from the French word.
+
+[156] _i.e._ twit or taunt.
+
+[157] _Parvus et Magnus Catho_, printed by Caxton, n.d. 4to. Chaucer, in
+his _Miller's Tale_ (_Chaucer's Works_, ed. Bell, i. 194), describes the
+old carpenter of Oxford, who had married a young girl, as having
+neglected to study [_Magnus_] _Catho_, which prescribed that marriages
+ought to take place between persons of about the same age.
+
+"He knew not Catoun, for his wyt was rude, That bad man schulde wedde
+his similitude."
+
+No doubt both _Cato_ and _Parvus Cato_ circulated in MS. before the
+invention of printing. The former was printed by Caxton in 1483-4. See
+Blades (_Life and Typography of William Caxton_, ii. 53-4).
+
+
+
+
++ _The Uplandisshe mans answere, concerninge the steple and pulpit._
+xii.
+
+
++ In a certayne place, on a tyme the perysshyns[158] had pulled downe
+theyr steple, and had buylded it vp newe agayne, and had put out theyr
+belles to be newe-founded: and bycause they range nat at the bysshops
+entrynge into the village, as they were wont and acustomed to do, he
+asked a good homely man, whether they had no belles in theyr steple: he
+answered: no! Than, sayde the bysshop, ye may sylle aweye[159] your
+steple. Why so, and please your lordship, sayd the man? Bycause hit
+stondeth vacant, said the bysshop. Than sayde the man, we may well sylle
+away an other thinge, that we haue in our churche. What is that, sayd
+the bysshop? That is a pulpit, quod he. For this vii yere ther was no
+sermon made therin.
+
+
+
+
++ _Of the beggers answere to M. Skelton the poete._ xiii.
+
+
++ A poure begger, that was foule, blacke and lothlye to beholde, cam
+vpon a tyme vnto mayster Skelton the poete, and asked him his almes. To
+whom mayster Skelton sayde: I praye the, gette the awaye fro me: for
+thou lokeste as though thou camest out of helle. The poure man,
+perceyuing he wolde gyue him no thynge, answerd: For soth, syr, ye say
+trouth, I came oute of helle. Why dyddest thou nat tary styl there, quod
+mayster Skelton? Mary, syr, quod the begger, there is no roume for suche
+poure beggers as I am: all is kepte for suche gentyl men as ye be.
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[158] Parishioners. This jest is included by Johnson in his _Pleasant
+Conceits of Old Hobson, the Merry Londoner_, 1607 (reprinted 1843. p.
+17).
+
+[159] Sell away.
+
+
+
+
++ _Of the chaplen, that sayde our lady matens a bed._ xiiii.
+
+
++ A certayne lorde's chaplen bosted on a tyme, syttynge at his lorde's
+table, that he sayde our lady matyns euery morninge besyde all his other
+seruice and orisons. The lorde, to proue whether his chaplen did as he
+sayde, arose yerly on a morninge, and went to his chaplen's chamber, and
+called hym, saying: where be ye, syr wylliam? Here, and please your
+lordshyp (quod he), in my bedde. Why, sayd the lorde, I thought ye had
+ben vp and sayenge of our lady matyns. I am nowe sayinge it, quod the
+chappleyn. What! lienge in your bedde, quod the lord? why, syr, sayd the
+chapplain, where shudde women be serued but a bedde?
+
+
+
+
++ _Of him that lost his purse in London._ xv.
+
+
++ A certayn man of the countre, the whiche for busines came vp to
+London, lost his purse as he wente late in the euenynge; and by cause
+the somme therin was great, he sette vp bylles in dyuers places that, if
+any man of the cyte had founde the purse, and wolde brynge it agayne to
+him, he shulde haue welle for his laboure. A gentyll man of the Temple
+wrote vnder one of the byls, howe the man shulde come to his chamber,
+and tolde [him] where. So, whan he was come, the gentyll man asked him
+fyrst what was in the purse; secondli, what countrey man he was, and
+thirdly, what was his name? Syr, quod he, xx nobles was inne the pourse;
+I am halfe a walshe man; and my name is John vp Janken.[160] John vp
+Jankyn (sayde the gentyll man), I am gladde I knowe thy name: for so
+longe as I lyue, thou nor none of thyn name shal haue my purse to kepe;
+and nowe fare well, gentyll John vp Jankyn. Thus he was mocked to scorne
+and went his way.
+
+Hereby ye may perceyue, that a man can not haue a shrewde tourne, but
+otherwhyle a mocke withall.
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[160] John ap Jenkin.
+
+
+
+
++ _Of the marchaunt that lost his bodgette betwene Ware and Lon[don]._
+xvi.
+
+
++ A certayne marchant betwene Ware and London lost his bodget and a c
+li. therin, wherfore he caused to proclayme in dyuers market townes,
+that who so euer[161] founde the sayde bodget, and wolde bryng it
+agayne, shulde haue xx li. for his labour. An honeste husbandeman, that
+chaunsed to fynde the sayde bodget, brought it to the baily[162] of
+Ware, accordynge to the crye, and required his xx li. for his labour, as
+it was proclaymed. The couetous marchant, whan he vnderstode this, and
+that he muste nedes pay xx li. for the fyndynge, he sayd, that there was
+an c and xx li. in his bodgette, and so wolde haue hadde his owne money
+and xx li. ouer. So longe they stroue, that the matter was brought
+before mayster Vauasour the good Judge. Whan he vnderstode by the
+bayllye, that the crye was made for a bodget with an c li. therin, he
+demanded where hit[163] was? Here, quod the bailly, and toke it vnto
+him. Is it iust an c li. sayde the Judge? Ye, trulye, quod the baillye.
+Holde, sayde the Judge (to him that founde the bodget), take thou this
+money vnto thyne owne vse: and if thou hap to fynde a bodgette with a c
+and xx li. therin, brynge it to this honest marchante man. It is myn; I
+lost no more but an c li. quod the marchant. Ye speke nowe to late, quod
+the Judge.
+
+By this tale ye may vnderstande, that they that go about to disceyue
+other, be often tymes disceyued them selfe. And some tyme one fallethe
+in the dytche, that he him selfe made.
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[161] The original has _who so ever that_.
+
+[162] Baillie or magistrate, from the old French word _bailli_.
+
+[163] This form of _it_, though it does not occur in the _C. Mery
+Tales_, is very common in old English works; see the _Seven Sages_,
+edited by Wright, 1845, for the Percy Society, and the _Anglo-Saxon
+Passion of St. George_, 1850 (Percy Soc.).
+
+
+
+
++ _Of him that was called cuckolde._ xvii.
+
+
++ A certayne man, whiche vpon a tyme in company betwene ernest and game
+was called cuckolde, went angerly home to his wife and sayde: wyfe, I
+was this day in company called kockolde; whether am I one or nat? Syr,
+truly, sayde she, ye be none. By my fayth (sayde he), thou shall swere
+so vpon this boke; and helde to her a boke. She denyed it longe; but
+whan she sawe there was no remedy, she sayde: well, sythe I must nedes
+swere, I promyse you by my faythe, I will swere truly. Yea, do so, quod
+he. So she toke the boke in her hande and sayd: By this boke, syr, ye
+be a cokolde. By the masse, hore, sayd he, thou lyest! thou sayste it
+for none other cause but to anger me.
+
+By this tale ye may parceyue, that it is nat best at all tymes for a man
+to beleue his wife, though she swere vpon a boke.
+
+
+
+
++ _Of the iolous man._ xviii.
+
+
++ A man that was ryght iolous on his wyfe, dreamed on a nyght as he laye
+a bed with her and slepte, that the dyuell aperd vnto him and sayde:
+woldest thou nat be gladde, that I shulde put the in suretie of thy
+wife? Yes, sayde he. Holde, sayde the dyuell, as longe as thou hast this
+rynge vpon thy fynger, no man shall make the kockolde. The man was
+gladde therof, and whan he awaked, he founde his fynger in * * * * * * *.
+
+
+
+
++ _Of the fatte woman that solde frute._ xix.
+
+
++ As a greate fatte woman sate and solde frute in a Lente, there came a
+yonge man bye, and behelde her frute ernestly, and specially he caste
+his eyes on her fygges. She asked him, as was her gyse: syr, wyll ye
+haue any fygges; they be fayre and good? And whan she sawe he was
+content, she sayde, howe manye? wyll ye haue fyue li? He was content.
+So she wayed him oute fyue li. into his lappe: and whyle she layde aside
+her balaunce, he wente his waye faire and softely. Whan she tourned to
+haue taken her[164] money, and sawe her chapman go his waye, she made
+after apace, but faster with her voice than with hir fote. He,
+dissemblinge the mater, wente styll forth on. She made suche a cryenge
+and folkes gathered so faste, that he stode styll. So in the preace he
+shewed to the people all the matter, and said: I bought nothing of hir;
+but that that she vnbyd gaue me, I toke; and if she wyll, I am contente
+to go before the Justice.
+
+
+
+
++ _Of a poller that begyled a prest._ xx.
+
+
++ Vpon a tyme in Andwarpe a false pollynge[165] felowe came vnto a
+certeyne preste, that hadde his purse hangynge at his gyrdell
+strouttinge[166] oute full of money that he a lytell before had
+resceyued, and gentilly gretynge hym sayde: good Mayster, our parysshe
+preste bad me bye him a palle[167] (which is the vppermoste vestement,
+that a preste syngeth masse in); if it wolde please you to go with me, I
+were moche bounde to you: for our curat and you be of one stature. The
+preste was contente. Whan they came there where he wolde bye it, the
+palle was broughte forth, and the preste dyd it on: the poller loketh
+and toteth[168] thereon, and preyseth it, but he layde a wyte,[169] that
+it was to shorte before. Nay, quod the syller, the faute is nat in the
+vestement, hit is the strouttinge purse vnderneth that beareth hit up.
+Shortely to speake, the prest dyd of his purse, and layde hit by, and
+than the vestiment they behelde agayne. Whan the poller sawe the preste
+was tourned, he snatched vp the purs, and toke his legges and to
+go.[170] The preste rounne after with the vestement on his backe: and
+the vestement-maker after the prest. The prest bad stop the thefe, the
+siller bad stop the prest, the poller bade holde the mad preste, and
+euery man wende[171] he had ben mad in dede, bicause he had the
+vestement on his backe; and so whyle one letted an other, the false
+poller went his waye.
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[164] The original has _whan she turned her to have taken money_.
+
+[165] Cheating.
+
+[166] The word seems to be here used in a rare sense. The meaning is
+_bulging_.
+
+[167] This word (Latine _pallium_) was originally used in a special and
+exclusive signification.
+
+[168] Singer explains this to mean _gazeth_.
+
+[169] Found fault with it.
+
+[170] There is probably some corruption here. We ought perhaps to read:
+"and toke _to_ his legges _as if_ to go."
+
+[171] Weened.
+
+
+
+
++ _Of Papirius pretextatus._ xxi.
+
+
++ AULUS GELLIUS[172] reherseth, how the Senatours of Rome on a tyme
+helde a great counsaile. Before which tyme the senatours chyldren,
+called of their garmentes _Pueri pretextati_, vsed to come into the
+parlemente house with theyre fathers. So at this tyme a chylde, called
+Papyrius, cam in with his father and herde the great counsayl the which
+was straytely commaunded to be kept secrete, tyll hit was decreed. Whan
+this chylde came home, his mother asked him what the counsaile was. The
+chylde answered, hit oughte nat to be tolde. Now was his mother more
+desyrous to knowe hit than she was before; wherfore she enquered more
+straitly and more violentlye. The chylde, beinge sore constrayned of his
+mother, shortelye deuysed a propre merye leasynge.[173] It is reasoned
+in the parlemente (quod he), whether of both[174] shulde be more
+profytable for the comon welth, a man to haue ii wiues or els a woman ii
+husbandes. Whan she harde him saye so, her mynde was pacified: and
+forth-with she wente and tolde hit to the other matrones.
+
+On the morowe, a great company of the moste notable wyues of Rome came
+to the parlemente house weping, and humbly prayeng, that rather one
+woman shuld be maryed vnto ii men than ii wemen to one man. The
+Senatours entringe into the court, what with the sodayn assembling of
+the wyues and of their request, were right sore astonied. Than the
+childe Papyrius stode forth, and enformed the senatours, how his mother
+wold haue compelled him to vtter the secrete counsayle: and howe he, to
+contente her mynde, feyned that leasynge. For which dede the Senatours
+right hyghly commended the childes fydelite and wytte. And forth-with
+they made a law, that no child after that (saue only Papirius) shuld
+come in to the parlement house with his father. And for his great
+prudence in that tender age he hadde gyuen to hym, to his great honour,
+this surname _Pretextatus_.
+
+Whereby ye may se, that the hygh treasure of man, and greattest grace,
+rested in well-ordrynge of the tonge. The moste prudent poete Hesiodus
+sayth: The tonge shulde not ronne at large, but be hydde as a precious
+treasure: for, of all the membres of man, the tonge yll-ordered is the
+worste. The tonge blasphemeth God. The tonge slaundereth thy neyghbour.
+The tonge breaketh peace, and stereth vp cruell warre, of all thynges
+to mankynde moste mischefull; the tonge is a broker of baudrye; the
+tonge setteth frendes at debate; the tonge with flatterynge, detraction
+and wanton tales enfecteth pure and clene myndes; the tonge without
+sworde or venome strangleth thy brother and frende; and brefely to
+speake, the tonge teacheth cursed heresyes, and of good Christiens
+maketh Antichristes.
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[172] _Noctes Atticae_, translated by Belue, vol. i. p. 86. The _Historie
+of Papyrius Praetextatus_ is related in the 18th Novel of the 1st Tome of
+Painter's _Palace of Pleasure_.
+
+[173] Deceit, or what would now be called a _white lie._
+
+[174] _i.e._ which of the two.
+
+
+
+
++ _Of the corrupte man of lawe._ xxii.
+
+
++ There was a man of lawe, whiche on a tyme shulde be iudge betwene a
+poure man and a ryche: the poure man came, and gaue hym a glasse of oyle
+(whiche was as moche as his power wold stretche to) and desyred, that he
+wolde be good in his matter. Yes, quod he, the matter shall passe[175]
+with the. The riche man, perceyuynge that, sente to the same iudge a
+fatte hogge, and prayed hym to be fauorable on his syde. Wherfore he
+gaue iudgement agaynst the poure man. Whan the poure man sawe that he
+was condemned, pytously complaynyng he sayd to the Judge: syr, I gaue
+you a glasse of oyle, and ye promysed by your faith, the matter shulde
+passe with me. To whom the iuge sayde: for a trouth there came a hogge
+into my house, whiche founde the glasse of oyle, and ouerthrewe and
+brake it: and so through spyllynge of the oyle I cleane forgot the.
+
+  Wherby ye may se, that euermore amonge
+  The ryche hath his wyll, the pore taketh wronge.
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[175] Go easily.
+
+
+
+
++ _Of kynge Lowes of France, and the husbandman._ xxiii.
+
+
++ What tyme kynge Lowes of Fraunce, the xi of that name, bycause of the
+trouble that was in the realme, kepte hym selfe in Burgoyne, he chaunced
+by occasion of huntinge to come acqueynted with one Conon a homely
+husbande man, and a plaine meanynge felowe, in whiche maner of men the
+hygh princes greatly delyte them. To this man's house the kynge ofte
+resorted from huntynge. And with great pleasure he wolde eate radysshes
+rotes with hym. Within a whyle after, whan Lowes was restored home, and
+had the gouernaunce of France in his hande, this husbandeman was
+counsailed by his wyfe to take a goodiy sorte of radysshe rotes and to
+go and gyue them to the kyng, and put him in mind of the good chere,
+that he had made hym at his house. Conon wolde nat assente therto. What
+folysshe woman! quod he, the greate princes remembre nat suche smalle
+pleasures. But for all that she wolde not reste, tyll Conon chose out a
+great syght[176] of the fayrest rootes, and toke his iourney towarde the
+courte. But as he went by the way, he yete vp all the radysshes save one
+of the greattest.
+
+Conon peaked[177] into the courte, and stode where the kynge shulde
+passe by: By and by the kynge knewe hym, and called hym to hym. Conon
+stepte to the kynge and presented his rote with a gladde chere. And the
+kynge toke it more gladly, and bad one, that was nerest to hym, to laye
+it vp amonge those iewels that he best loued; and than commaunded Conon
+to dyne with hym. Whan dyner was done, he thanked Conon: and whan the
+kyng sawe that he wolde departe home, he commaunded to gyue hym a
+thousande crownes of golde for his radisshe rote. Whan this was knowen
+in the kinges house, one of the court gaue the kyng a propre mynion[178]
+horse. The king, perceiuing that he dyd it, bicause of the liberalite
+shewed vnto Conon, with very glad chere he toke the gyft, and counsailed
+with his lordes, howe and with what gyft he myght recompence the
+horse, that was so goodly and faire. This meanewhile the picke-thank had
+a meruailous great hope, and thought in his mynde thus: if he so wel
+recompensed the radysshe rote, that was gyuen of a rusticall man, howe
+moche more largely wyl he recompence suche an horse, that is gyuen of me
+that am of the courte? Whan euery man had sayde hys mynde, as though the
+kynge had counsayled aboute a great weyghty matter, and that they hadde
+longe fedde the pycke thanke with vayne hope, at last the kyng sayd: I
+remembre nowe, what we shal gyue hym; and so he called one of his
+lordes, and badde hym in his eare go fetche hym that that he founde in
+his chambre (and told hym the place where) featly[179] folded vp in
+sylke. Anone he came and brought the radysshe roote, and euen as it was
+folded vp, the kyng with his owne hand gaue it to the courtier, sayenge:
+we suppose your horse is well recompensed with this iewell, for it hath
+cost vs a thousande crownes. The courtier went his way neuer so glad,
+and whan he had vnfolded it, he found none other treasure but the
+radysshe rote almoste wethered.[180]
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[176] This old phrase is still in colloquial use. "A good sight better,"
+or a "great sight more," are well understood terms among us, though
+vulgar.
+
+[177] A rare word as a verb, though the adjective _peakish_ is common
+enough in old English writers. By _peaked_ we must understand "stole" or
+got admission by stealth.
+
+[178] A literal rendering of the Fr. _mignon_, delicate or dainty.
+
+[179] Neatly.
+
+[180] The germ of this and the fallowing story may be found in Lane's
+_Arabian Tales and Anecdotes_, p. 112.
+
+
+
+
++ _Of an other picke-thanke, and the same kinge._ xxiiii.
+
+
++ Vpon a time a seruant of the fornamed kinges, seynge a louce crepe
+vpon the kynges robe, kneled downe and put vp his hande, as though he
+wolde do somwhat, and as the kynge bowed hym self a lyttell, the man
+toke the louce, and conueyed her away priuely. The kynge asked hym what
+it was, but he was ashamed to shew. So moche the kyng instanted[181]
+hym, that at laste he confessed hit was a louce. Oh! quod the kynge, it
+is good lucke: for this declareth me to be a man. For that kynde of
+vermyne principally greueth mankynde, specially in youth. And so the
+kynge commanded to gyue him fyfty crownes for his labour.
+
+Nat longe after, an other, seynge that the kynge gaue so good a rewarde
+for so smalle a pleasure, came and kneled downe, and put vp his hande,
+and made as though he toke and conueyed some what priuelye awaye. And
+whan the kynge constrayned him to tell what hit was, with moche
+dissemblyng shamfastnes he sayd, hit was a flee. The kynge, perceyuinge
+his dissimulation, sayd to him: what, woldest thou make me a dogge? and
+so for his fifty crownes, that he prooled[182] for, the kinge commaunded
+to gyue him fiftye strypes.
+
+Wherby ye may note, that there is great difference betwene one that doth
+a thynge of good will and mynde, and hym that doth a thynge by crafte
+and dissymulation; whiche thinge this noble and moste prudent prince
+well vnderstode. And one ought to be well ware[183] howe he hath to do
+with highe princes and their busynes. And if _Ecclesiast[es]_ forbid,
+that one shall mynde none yll to a kynge, howe shulde any dare speake
+yll?
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[181] Importuned.
+
+
+
+
++ _Of Thales the astronomer that fell in a ditch._ xxv.
+
+
++ Laertius wryteth,[184] that Thales Milesius wente oute of his house
+vpon a time to beholde the starres for a certayn cause: and so longe he
+went backeward, that he fell plumpe in to a ditche ouer the eares;
+wherfore an olde woman, that he kepte in his house laughed and sayde to
+him in derision: O Thales, how shuldest thou haue knowlege in heuenly
+thinges aboue, and knowest nat what is here benethe vnder thy feet?
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[182] Prowled.
+
+[183] Careful.
+
+[184] Diogenes Laertius (_Lives of the Philosophers_, translated by
+Yonge. 1853, p. 18).
+
+
+
+
++ _Of the astronomer that theues robbed._ xxvi.
+
+
++ As an astronomer that satte vpon a tyme in the market place of a
+certayne towne, and toke vpon him to dyuine and to shewe what theyr
+fortunes and chaunses shuld be, that came to him: there came a felow and
+tolde him (as it was in deede) that theues had broken in to his house,
+and had borne away all that he hadde. These tidinges greued him so sore,
+that all hevy and sorowefullye he rose vp and wente his waye. Whan the
+felowe sawe him do so, he sayde: O thou folissh and madde man, goest
+thou aboute to dyuine other mennes matters, and arte ignorant in thine
+owne?
+
+This tale (besyde the blynde errour of suche foles) toucheth them, that
+handell theyr owne matters lewdly, and wyll entermedle in other mens.
+And Cicero saythe: That wyse man, that can nat profytte him selfe, hath
+but lytell wysdome.
+
+
+
+
++ _Of the plough man that sayde his pater noster._ xxvii.
+
+
++ A rude vplandisshe ploughman, on a tyme[185] reprouynge a good holy
+father sayd, that he coude saye all his prayers with a hole mynde and
+stedfaste intention, without thinkyng on any other thynge. To whome the
+good holy man sayde: Go to, saye one _Pater noster_ to the ende, and
+thynke on none other thinge, and I wyll gyue the myn horse. That shall I
+do, quod the plough man, and so began to saye: _Pater noster qui es in
+celis_, tyll he came to _Sanctificetur nomen tuum_, and than his thought
+moued him to aske this question: yea, but shal I haue the sadil and
+bridel withal? And so he lost his bargain.
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[185] The orig. reads _whiche on a tyme_. I have therefore ventured to
+strike out the unnecessary word.
+
+
+
+
++ _Of him that dreamed he fonde golde._ xxviii.
+
+
++ There was a man, that sayde in company vpon a tyme, howe he dreamed on
+a nyghte, that the deuyll ledde him in to a felde to dygge for golde.
+Whan he had founde the golde, the deuyll sayde: Thou canste not carye
+hit a waye nowe, but marke the place, that thou mayste fetche hit an
+other tyme. What marke shall I make, quod the man? S**** ouer hit, quod
+the deuyl: for that shall cause euery man to shonne the place, and for
+the hit shall be a speciall knowlege. The man was contente, and dyd so.
+So whan he awaked oute of his slepe, he parceyued, that he had foule
+defyled his bedde. Thus betwene stynke and dyrte vp he rose, and made
+him redy to go forth: and laste of all he put on his bonette, wherin
+also the same nighte the catte hadde s***; For great stinke wherof he
+threwe away his couer knaue,[186] and was fayne to wasshe his
+busshe.[187] Thus his golden dreame tournedde all to dyrte.[188]
+
+Tibullus sayth: Dreames in the nyght begylen, and cause fearefull myndes
+to drede thynges that neuer shalbe. But yet Claudian sayeth: Dreames in
+sondrye wyse fygured gyueth warnynge of vnluckye thynges. And Valerius
+Maximus wryteth that, as Hamylcar besiged the cyte of Syracuse, he
+dreamed, that he harde a voyce saye, that he the nexte daye shulde suppe
+with in the cyte. Wherfore he was ioyfull, as thoughe the victorye from
+heuen had ben to him promised. And so [he] apparayled his hooste to
+assaute the towne: in whiche assaute he chaunced to be taken in his
+lodgynge by them of the cyte, and so bounden lyke a prysoner, they ledde
+hym in to theyr cite. Thus he more disceyued by hope, than by his dreme,
+supped that nyghte within the citie as a prisoner, and nat as a
+conquerour, as he presumed in his mynde. Alcibiades also hadde a
+certayne vision in the nyghte of his miserable ende.
+
+This tale sheweth that dreames sometyme come to passe by one meane or
+other. And he that desyreth to knowe more of dreames wrytten in our
+englysshe tonge, let hym rede the tale of the nounnes preste, that G.
+Chauser wrote: and for the skeles howe dreames and sweuens[189] are
+caused, the begynnynge of the Boke of Fame, the whiche the sayde Chauser
+compiled with many an other matter full of wysedome.
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[186] A cant term for a bonnet.
+
+[187] Thick bushy hair.
+
+[188] See Brand's _Popular Antiquities_, ed. 1849, iii. 132, where Brand
+cites Melton's _Astrologaster, or the Figure-Caster_, 1620, to show that
+to dream of the devil and of gold was deemed an equally lucky portent.
+To dream of gold is also pronounced a happy omen in the _Countryman's
+Counsellor_. 1633.
+
+
+
+
++ _Of the crakynge yonge gentyll man, that wold ouerthrowe his enmyes a
+myle of._ xxix.
+
+
++ A yonge gentyl man in a cite that was beseged, rebuked the other and
+called them cowherdes, bycause they wolde nat issue out and fight with
+their enmyes. So he armed at all peces lepte on horsebacke, and galopte
+out at the gates. Whan he, thus crakynge,[190] hadde prycked on aboute
+a myle, he encountred with manye, that retourned home from the
+skyrmysshe sore wounded; wherfore he beganne to ryde a softer pace. But
+whan he harde the hydous noyse, and sawe a myle frome hym howe fyerslye
+they of the citie and theyr enmyes assayled eche other, he stode euen
+stylle. Than one, that harde his crakynge before, asked hym, why he rode
+no nere[r] to fyghte with their enmyes. He answered and sayde: Trewly I
+fynde nat my selfe so able and stronge in armes, that my harte wyl serue
+me to ryde any nere[r] to them.
+
+Wherby may be noted, that nat onely the force of the mynde, but also of
+the body, shulde be wel consydred. Nor one shulde nat bragge and bost to
+do more than he maye welle atcheue. There be many, whiche with their
+wordes slee[191] theyr enmyes a great waye of, but whan they se theyr
+enmye, they put on a sure breste plate and a gorget of a myle of
+lengthe. Plutarche wryteth that, whan Memnon made warre for Darius
+agaynste Alexander, he harde one of his souldyours crake and speake many
+yll wordes agaynst Alexander; wherfore he rapte hym on the pate with a
+iauelynge, sayenge: I hyred the to fyght agaynste Alexandre, and not to
+crake and prate.
+
+Otherwhyle sayth Quintus Curtius, the couetousnes of glory and
+insaciable desire of fame causeth, that we thynke nothing ouermoche or
+ouer hard. But Salust saith: Before a man enterprise any feate, he ought
+fyrst to counsayle: and after to go in hande there with nat
+heedlynge[192] nor slowly.
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[189] Dreams. Thus Chaucer, in the opening lines of the _House of Fame_
+(called in the old editions and in the present text the _Boke of Fame_),
+says:--
+
+"God turne us every dreme to goode! For hyt is wonder thing, be the
+roode, To my wytte, what causeth swevenes Eyther on morwes, or on
+evenes."
+
+For examples of the later use of the word, see Nares by Halliwell and
+Wright, art. _Sweven_.
+
+[190] Boasting.
+
+[191] Singer reads _flee_.
+
+
+
+
++ _Of hym that fell of a tre and brake his rybbe._ xxx.
+
+
++ There was a husbande man whiche, on a tyme, as he clymbed a tree to
+gette downe the frute, felle and brake a rybbe in his syde. To comforte
+hym there came a very merye man whiche, as they talked to gether sayde,
+he wolde teache hym suche a rule that, if he wold folowe it, he shuld
+neuer falle from tree more. Marye, sayde the hurte man, I wolde ye hadde
+taught me that rule before I felle: neuer the lesse, bycause it may
+happe to profyte me in tyme to come, lette me here what it is. Than the
+other sayd: Take hede, that thou go neuer downe faster than thou wentest
+vp, but discende as softly as thou clymmest vp; and so thou shalt neuer
+fall.
+
+By this tale ye may note, that abidyng and slownesse otherwhile are
+good and commendable, specially in those thynges, wherin spede and
+hastines cause great hurte and damage. Seneca saythe: A sodayne thynge
+is nought.
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[192] Headlong.
+
+
+
+
++ _Of the frier that brayde in his sermon._ xxxi.
+
+
++ A fryer, that preached to the people on a tyme, wolde otherwhyle crie
+out a loude (as the maner of some fooles is) whiche brayenge dyd so moue
+a woman that stode herynge his sermone, that she wepte. He, parceyuyng
+that, thought in his mynde her conscience being prycked with his wordes
+had caused her to wepe. Wherfore, whan his sermon was done, he called
+the woman to hym, and asked what was the cause of her wepynge, and
+whether his wordes moued her to wepe or nat? Forsoth, mayster (sayde
+she), I am a poure wydowe: and whan myne husbande dyed, he lefte me but
+one asse, whiche gotte parte of my lyuynge, the whiche asse the wolues
+haue slayne: and nowe, whan I hard your hyghe voyce, I remembred my
+selye asse: for so he was wonte to braye bothe nyghte and daye. And
+this, good mayster, caused me to wepe. Thus the lewde brayer, rather
+than preacher, confuted with his folysshenes, wente his way; which,
+thinkynge for his brayenge lyke an asse to be reputed for the beste
+preacher, deserued well to here hym selfe to be compared to an asse.
+
+  For truely one to suppose hym selfe wyse
+  Is vnto folysshenes the very fyrste gryce.[193]
+
+
+
+
++ _The oration of the ambassadour sent to Pope Urban._ xxxii.
+
+
++ Out of the towne of Parusyn were sente vpon a tyme thre ambassadours
+vnto our holye father Pope Urban, whom they founde sycke in his bed.
+Before whose holynes one of the sayde ambassadours had a longe and a
+tedious oration, that he had deuysed by the way; the whiche, er it was
+ended, ryght sore anoyed the popes holynesse. Whan he hadde all sayde,
+the pope asked: Is there anye thynge elles? An other of the thre,
+percevuynge howe greately the ambagious[194] tale greued the popes
+holynes to here it out, sayde: Moost holy father, this is all the
+effece, and if your holynes spede vs nat forthewith, my felowe shall
+telle his tale agayne. At whiche sayenge the pope laughed, and caused
+the ambassadours to be spedde incontinent.
+
+By this tale one maye lerne, that superfluous wordes ought dilygently to
+be auoyded, specially where a matter is treated before an hygh prince.
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[193] Step, from the Latin _grassus_ or _gressus_.
+
+[194] Circumlocutory.--SINGER.
+
+
+
+
++ _Of the ambassadour sent to the prince Agis._ xxxiii.
+
+
++ Nat moch vnlike the forsayd tale, Plutarche reciteth that, whan the
+ambassadour of the Abderites had at laste ended a longe tale to the
+prynce Agis, he asked what answere he shulde make to them that sent him?
+Say vnto them (quod the prince), whan thou comest home, that all the
+longe tyme that thou didest dispende in tellynge thy tale, I sate styll
+and harde the paciently.
+
+
+
+
++ _The answere of Cleomenes to the Samiens ambassadour._ xxxiiii.
+
+
++ Plutarche rehersethe also, that what tyme an ambassadour, that was
+sente frome the Samiens, had made a longe oration vnto Cleomines, to
+perswade him to make warre to Polycrates, he answered the ambassadour on
+this maner of wyse: I remembre nat, what thou sayddest in the begynnyng
+of thy tale, and therfore I vnderstand nat the myddis; and thy
+conclusion pleaseth me nat.
+
+Wherby we may perceyue, that the noble wyse men loue fewe wordes. And
+as the Rhetoriciens say: amonge the vices of an oratoure, there is none
+more hurtefull than the superfluous heape of wordes.
+
+
+
+
++ _Of the wyse man Piso and his seruant._ xxxv.
+
+
++ A certayn wise man called Piso, to auoyde greuous ianglynge,
+commaunded that his seruauntes shulde saye nothinge, but answere to that
+that thei were demaunded, and no more. Vpon a daye the sayde Piso made a
+dyner, and sente a seruaunt to desire Clodius the Consull to come and
+dyne with him. Aboute the houre of diner al the guestes came saue
+Clodius, for whom they taryed tyll hit was almoste nyght, and euer sente
+to loke if he came. At laste Piso sayde to his seruaunt: diddest thou
+byd the Consull come to dyner? Yes, truely, sayde he. Why cometh he nat
+than, quod Piso? Mary, quod the seruaunt, he sayde he wolde nat.
+Wherfore toldest me nat so incontinent, quod Piso? Bycause, quod the
+seruaunt, ye dyd nat aske me.
+
+By this tale, seruauntes may lerne to kepe theyr maisters biddyng: but
+yet I aduise maysters therby to take hede, howe they make an
+iniunction.
+
+
+
+
++ _Of the marchant that made a wager with his lord._ xxxvi.
+
+
++ A certayne marchaunt, before his lorde that he was subiecte vnto,
+amonge other thynges praysed his wyfe, and sayde, that he neuer harde
+her lette a *****. Wherat the lorde meruailed, and sayd it was
+impossible: and so layde and ventred a souper with the marchant, that
+before thre monethes were ended, he shulde here her lette a ***** or
+twayne. On the morowe, the lorde came to the marchaunt, and borowed
+fyfty crownes, the whiche he promysed trewely to repay agayne within
+viij dayes after. The marchaunt ryght sore agaynst his wylle lent it,
+and thoughtfully abode, tyll the daye of payment was come: and than he
+wente to his lorde and requyred his moneye. The lorde, makynge as though
+he had hadde more nede than before, desyred the marchaunt to lende hym
+other fyftye crownes, and promysed to paye all within a monethe. And all
+though the good man denyed hit longe, yet for feare lest he shulde lose
+the first somme, with moche grutchynge he lente hym the other fyfty
+crownes. And so wente home to his house ryghte heuye and sorowfull in
+his mynde. Thus thynkynge and dredynge diuers thynges, he passed many
+nyghtes awaye without slepe. And as he laye wakyng, he harde his wyfe
+nowe and than rappe out *****. At the monethes' ende the lorde sente for
+the marchant, and asked him, if he neuer sythe harde his wyfe let a
+*****. The marchant aknoweleginge his folye, answered thus: Forsothe,
+syr, if I shulde for euery ***** paye a souper, all my goodes and landes
+wolde nat suffice therto. After whiche answere, the lorde payde the
+marchant his money, and the marchant payde the souper.
+
+Here by ye maye se, that many thinges passe by them that slepe, and it
+is an old sayenge: He that slepeth, byteth no body. By this tale ye may
+note also that they, the whiche fortune swetelye enbraceth, take theyr
+reste and slepe soundely; And contrarye wyse, they that bene oppressed
+with aduersite, watche sorowefullye whan they shulde slepe. This man,
+which for a very folisshe thing preysed his wyfe, afterwarde whan a
+lyttell care beganne to crepe aboute his stomacke, he perceiued that
+faute in her ryght great. The morall boke, called Cato,[195] counsayleth
+vs to watche for the more parte: For moche slomber and slepe is the
+norisshinge of vice.
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[195] Vide supra, p. 22.
+
+
+
+
++ _Of the friere that gaue scrowes agaynst the pestilence._ xxxvii.
+
+
++ Amonge the limitours[196] in the cyte of Tiburtine (Tivoli), was a
+certayne friere, which vsed to preache about in the villages to men of
+the countrey: and for as moch as they greately suspecte[d] that a plague
+of pestilence shulde come amonge them, he promysed eche of them a lytell
+scrowe:[197] which he sayde was of suche a vertue, that who so euer bare
+hit hangynge aboute his necke xv dayes shulde nat dye of the pestilence.
+The folisshe people trustynge herevpon, euerye one after his power gaue
+him money for a scrowe; and with a threde of a mayden's spynninge, they
+hanged hit aboute their neckes. But he charged them that they shuld nat
+open it tyll the xv dayes ende: for, if they did, he sayde hit had no
+vertue. So whan the frire hadde gathered moche moneye, he wente his
+waye. Soone after (as the desyre of folkes is to knowe newes) the sayd
+scrowes were redde, in which was writen in Italian speche:
+
+  _Donna, si fili et cadeti lo fuso,
+  Quando ti pieghi, tieni lo culo chiuso._[198]
+
+Which is to saye in englysshe: woman, if thou spynne, and thy spyndell
+falle awaye, whan thou stoupest to reache for him, holde thyne ****
+close. He sayde, that this passed all the preceptes and medicines of the
+phisitians.
+
+By whiche tale one may lerne, that all is nat gospell that suche
+wanderers about saye, nor euerye word to be beleued: For often tymes:--
+
+  _Gelidus jacet anguis in herba._
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[196] A word used by Chaucer. It signifies a person licensed to preach
+and beg within a certain _limit_. There was an order of mendicant
+friars.
+
+"Lordings, ther is in Engelond, I gesse, A mersschly land called
+Holdernesse, In which there went a lymytour aboute, To preche and eek to
+begge, it is no doubte."
+
+CHAUCER'S _Sompnour's Tale_; Works, ed. Bell. ii. 103.
+
+[197] Scrowl.
+
+
+
+
++ _Of the phisitian, that vsed to write bylles ouer eue._ xxxviii.
+
+
++ A certayne phisitian of Italy vsed ouer night to write for sondry
+diseasis diuers billes, called resceitz, and to put them in a bag al to
+gether. In the morning whan the vrins (as the custome is) were brought
+to him, and he [was] desired to showe some remedy, he wolde put his hand
+in to the bag, and at al auentures take oute a bille. And in takinge
+oute the bille he wolde say to him that came to seke remedye in their
+language: _Prega dio te la mandi bona_. That is to saye: Praye God to
+sende the a good one.
+
+By this tale ye may se, that miserable is their state whiche fortune
+muste helpe and nat reason. Suche a phisitian on a tyme sayde to
+Pausanias: Thou aylest nothinge. No, sayde he, I haue nat had to do with
+thy phisicke. And an other tyme a frende of his sayde: Syr, ye ought not
+to blame that phisitian: for his phisicke dyd you neuer hurte. Thou
+sayest trouthe, quod he: for, if I hadde proued his phisicke, I shulde
+nat nowe haue been alyue. And ageyne to an other that sayde: Syr, ye be
+an olde man, he answered: yea, thou were nat my phisitian. Such maner
+[of] checkes are to lyttell for the leude foles, that wyll practise
+phisicke, before they knowe what [be]longeth to theyr name.
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[198] In orig. and in Singer this is printed as prose, according to the
+usual practice. The same is the case with the line below.
+
+
+
+
++ _Of hym that wolde confesse hym by writinge._ xxxix.
+
+
++ Ther was a yonge man on a tyme, which wrote a longe lybell[199] of his
+synnes; whether he did hit for hypocrisy, folysshenesse, or oblyuion I
+can not say: and whan he shulde confesse him, he gaue hit to the
+confessour to rede: whiche confessor, beinge well lerned and experte in
+that busynes, parceyued hit wolde requyre a longe tyme to rede ouer:
+wherfore after a fewe wordes he sayde: I assoyle the frome all the
+synnes conteyned in this lybell. Yea, but what shall my penaunce be,
+quod the yonge man? Nothinge els, sayde the confessour, but that thou
+shalte the space of a moneth rede this lybell ouer euery daye vii tymes.
+And all thoughe he sayde it was impossyble for him to do, yet the
+confessour wolde nat chaunge his sentence. By which mery subtyle answere
+he confuted the breble brable[200] of the folysshe felowe.
+
+By this tale ye may perceyue that he that occupyeth this office, that is
+to saye, a confessour, ought to be discrete, prudent, and well lernedde.
+This confessour knewe well the ordinaunce of holye churche: whiche
+wylleth confession to be made with the mouthe, and nat by wrytynge.
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[199] Narrative or account. In its original signification, libel merely
+implied _libellus_, a little book or volume, a pamphlet, but not
+necessarily one of an offensive kind.
+
+
+
+
++ _Of the hermite of Padowe._ xl.
+
+
++ An hermite of Padow,[201] that was reputed for an holy man, vnder the
+semblaunce of confession, entyced many of the notablest wyues of the
+towne vnto folye and lewednes. So at last, whan his offence was
+dyuulgate and knowen (for hypocrisy can nat longe be hid) he was taken
+by the prouost, and brought before the prince of Padowe, duke Francis
+the vii of that name, whiche for his disporte sent for his secretarye,
+to wryte the womens names, that the hermit had layen by. Whan the
+hermyte had rehersed manye of the dukes seruantes wyues, and the
+secretarye merely laughenge had writen them, he semed as he had al said.
+Be there any mo, sayde the duke? No forsothe, said the hermite. Tel vs
+trouth, quod the secretarie, who be mo, or els thou shalte be sharply
+punisshed. Than the hermyte sighinge said: Go to, write in thin owne
+wife amonge the nomber of the other; which saienge so sore greued the
+secretarye, that the penne felle out of his hande and the duke laughed
+right hartily, and sayde it was well done: that he that with so great
+pleasure harde the fautes of other mennes wyues, shulde come in the same
+nombre.
+
+By this ieste we may lerne, that one ought nat to reioyce at an others
+grefe or hurte: For lytell woteth a man what hangeth ouer his owne
+heed.
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[200] Silly and licentious talk. Taylor the Water-Poet, at the end of
+his _Wit and Mirth_, 1622 (_Works_, 1630, folio I. p. 200), uses the
+expression _Ribble-rabble of Gossips_, which seems to be a phrase of
+very similar import.
+
+[201] Padua.
+
+
+
+
++ _Of the Uplandysshe man, that sawe the kynge._ xli.
+
+
++ An vplandysshe man, nourysshed in the woddes, came on a tyme to the
+citie, whanne all the stretes were full of people, and the common voyce
+amonge them was: The kynge cometh. This rurall manne, moued with
+noueltie of that voyce, had great desyre to se, what that multitude
+houed[202] to beholde. Sodaynly the kynge, with many nobuls and states
+before hym, came rydynge royally. Than the people all about stedfastly
+behelde the kynge and cryed aloude: God saue the kynge: God saue the
+kynge. This villayne[203] herynge them crye so, sayde: O where is the
+kynge, where is the kynge? Than one, shewynge hym the kynge, sayde:
+yonder is he, that rydeth upon the goodly whyte horse. Is that the kyng,
+quod the villayne? what, thou mockest me, quod he; me thinke that is a
+man in a peynted garment.
+
+By this tale ye may perceyue (as Lycurgus proued by experience) that
+nourysshynge, good bryngynge vp and exercyse ben more apte to leade
+folke to humanite and the doynge of honest thynges than Nature her
+selfe. They for the mooste part are noble, free, and vertuous, whiche in
+their youthe bene well nourysshed vp, and vertuously endoctryned.
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[202] Hovered. This form of the word is used by Gower and Spenser. See
+Nares (ed. 1859), voce _Hove_.
+
+[203] Rustic.
+
+
+
+
++ _Of the courtier that bad the boy holde his horse._ xlii.
+
+
++ A courtier on a tyme that alyghted of his horse at an Inde[204] gate
+sayde to a boye that stode therby: Ho, syr boye, holde my horse. The
+boye, as he had ben aferde, answered: O maister, this a fierce horse; is
+one able to holde him? Yes, quod the courtier, one may holde hym well
+inough. Well, quod the boye, if one be able inough, than I pray you
+holde hym your owne selfe.[205]
+
+
+
+
++ _Of the deceytfull scriuener._ xliii.
+
+
++ A certayne scriuener, whiche hadde but a bare lyuynge by his crafte,
+imagyned howe he myght gette money. So he came to a yonge man, and asked
+hym if he were payde x li. whiche a certayne man, that was deade,
+borowed and ought to paye his father in tyme paste. The yonge manne
+sayde there was no such duetye[206] owynge in his father's name, that
+he knewe of. It is of trouthe, quod the scriuener: for here is the
+oblygacyon therof, whiche I made my selfe. He prouoked the yonge manne
+so moche, that he gaue hym money for the oblygation, and before the
+mayre he required the duetie. His sonne, that was named to be dettour,
+sayde playnely, that his father neuer borowed money: for if he had, it
+wolde appere by his bokes, after the marchantes' maner. And forth with
+he went to the scriuener and sayde to him, that he was a false man to
+write a thing that neuer was done. Sonne, sayde the scriuener, thou
+wotteste nat what was done that tyme: whan thy father borowed that somme
+of money, thou were nat borne: but he payde it agayne within thre
+monthes after, I made the quittance therof my selfe: wherby thy father
+is discharged. So the yonge man was faine to gyue hym money for the
+quittaunce. And whan he had shewed the quittaunce he was discharged of
+that greuance. Thus by his faire fraude he scraped money from them
+bothe.
+
+By this tale ye may se, that the children in this our tyme be very
+prudent to get money.
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[204] Inn.
+
+[205] See _Introduction_ vi.
+
+[206] Debt.
+
+
+
+
++ _Of hym that saide he beleued his wyfe better than other, that she was
+chaste._ xliiii.
+
+
++ A Certayne man, whose wyfe (as the voyce wente) was nat very chaste of
+her bodye, was warned of his frendes to loke better to the matter. The
+man wente home and sharpely rebuked his wyfe, and told her betwene them
+bothe, what his frendes had sayde. She, knowynge that periurye was no
+greatter offence than aduoutry,[207] with wepynge and swerynge defended
+her honestie: and bare her husbande on hande, that they feyned those
+tales for enuye that they hadde to se them lyue so quietly. With those
+wordes her husbande was content and pleased. So yet an other tyme
+agayne, his frendes warned him of his wyfe, and badde hym rebuke and
+chastice her. To whome he sayd: I pray you trouble me no more with suche
+wordes. Telle me, whether knoweth better my wiue's fautes, you or she?
+They sayde: She. And she (quod he), whom I beleue better than you all,
+sayth playnly, that ye lye. This was well and wysely done: For one
+ought nat to gyue light credence to those thinges, wherin resteth
+perpetuall grefe of mynde.
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[207] Adultery. The word occurs in Bacon's Essays. In his _Essay of
+Empire_, the writer says:--"This kind of danger is then to be feared
+chiefly when the wives have plots for the raising of their own children,
+or else that they be _advoutresses_." Sir Simonds D'Ewes, in his account
+of the murder of Sir Thomas Overbury, in 1613, describes the Countess of
+Essex as "Somerset's _advoutress_" (_Autobiography and Correspondence of
+Sir Simonds D'Ewes_, ed. Halliwell, I. 74).
+
+
+
+
++ _Of hym that payde his dette with crienge bea._ xlv.
+
+
++ There was a man on a tyme, which toke as moche ware of a marchaunt, as
+drewe to fyftie li. and riottously playde and spente the same awaye
+within shorte space. So whanne the day of payemente came, he hadde
+nother[208] moneye nor ware to paye: wherfore he was arrested, and muste
+come before the Justyce; whan he sawe there was none other remedye, but
+that he shulde be constrayned eyther to pay the dette, or else to go to
+prison. Wherfore he went to a subtyle man of lawe, and shewed to hym his
+matter, and desyred of hym[209] his counsayle and helpe. What wylt thou
+gyue me (quod the man of lawe), if I rydde the of this dette? By my
+faythe, sayde the dettour, v marke: and lo, here it is redy; as sone as
+I am quitte, ye shall haue hit. Good inough, quod the man of lawe; but
+thou muste be ruled by my counsaile, and thus do. Whan thou comest
+before the Justice, what som euer be saye[210] vnto the, loke that thou
+answere to nothing, but cry bea styl: and lette me alone with the reste.
+Content, quod he.
+
+So, whan they were com before the Justice, he said to the dettour: doste
+thou owe this marchant this somme of money or no? Bea! quod he. What
+beste! (quod the Justice) answere to thy plaint, orels thou wilte be
+condemned. Bea! quod he agayne. Than his man of lawe stode forth, and
+sayd: Sir, this man is but an ideot. Who wolde beleue that this
+marchaunt, whiche is both wyse and subtyle, wolde truste this ideot,
+that can speke neuer a redy worde, of xl peny worth of ware? and so with
+suche reasons he perswaded the Justyce to caste the marchaunt in his
+owne action. So whan the sentence was gyuen, the man of lawe drewe the
+dettour asyde, and said: Lo, howe sayst thou nowe? Haue not I done well
+for the? Thou arte clere quitte of the dette that was demanded of the:
+wherfore giue me my money, and God be with the. Bea! quod he. What, quod
+the laweer, thou nedest not to crie bea no longer; thy matter is
+dispatched; all is at a poynt, there resteth nothynge but to gyue me my
+wages, that thou promysyddest. Bea! quod he agayne. I saye, quod the man
+of lawe, crie bea no longer nowe, but gyue me my money. Bea! quod he.
+Thus the man of lawe, neyther for fayre nor foule, coulde gette any
+other thinge of his client but Bea: wherfore all angerly he departed,
+and went his waye.
+
+By this tale ye may perceyue, that they whiche be the inuenters and
+diuisers of fraude and disceit, ben often times therby deceyued them
+selfe. And he, that hath hyd a snare to attrap an other with, hath hym
+selfe ben taken therin.
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[208] An old form of _neither_.
+
+[209] In orig. _desired him of_.
+
+[210] Orig. reads _sayd_.
+
+
+
+
++ _Of the woman that appeled fro kyng Philip to kynge Philippe._ xlvi.
+
+
++ A woman, whiche [was] gyltlesse, on a tyme was condempned by kynge
+Philippe of Macedone, whan he was not sobre: wherfore she sayde: I
+appele. Whether,[211] quod the kynge? To kynge Philippe, quod she; but
+that is whan he is more sobre and better aduysed; whiche sayenge caused
+the kynge to loke better on the matter, and to do her ryght.
+
+This wryteth Val. Maximus. But Plutarche sayth, it was a man, and kynge
+Philip was halfe a slepe, whan he gaue sentence.
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[211] Whither.
+
+
+
+
++ _Of the olde woman, that prayde for the welfare of the tyrant Denise._
+xlvii.
+
+
++ What tyme Denyse[212] the tyranne raygned, for his cruelte and
+intollerable dealynge he was hated of all the[213] cite of Syracuse, and
+euery body wysshed his dethe, saue one olde woman, the whiche euery
+morning praid God to saue him in good life and helth. Whan he vnderstode
+that she so dyd, he meruailed greatly at her vndeserued beniuolence:
+wherfore he sente for her, and asked, why and howe he had deserued, that
+she prayde for hym? She answered and sayd: I do it nat with out a cause.
+For, whan I was a mayde, we had a tyran raignynge ouer us, whose death I
+greatly desyred; whan he was slayne, there succided an other yet more
+cruell than he, out of whose gouernance to be also deliuered I thought
+it a hygh benifyte. The thyrde is thy selfe, that haste begon to raygne
+ouer vs more importunately[214] than either of the other two. Thus,
+fearynge leest, whan thou arte gone, a worse shuld succede and reigne
+ouer vs, I praye God dayly to preserue the in helthe.
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[212] Dionysius.
+
+[213] Orig. reads _che_.
+
+[214] _Importunate_ seems to be used here in the sense of _oppressive_
+or _overbearing_.
+
+
+
+
++ _Of the phisitian Eumonus._ xlviii.
+
+
++ A phisitian called Eumonus tolde a sicke man, that laye in great
+payne, that he coulde nat scape, but he muste nedes dye of that disese.
+This sicke man within a whyle after, nat by the phisitians helpe, but by
+the wille of God, guerysshed[215] and was holle of his disease: howe be
+hit, he was verye lowe and bare[216] broughte. And as he walked forth on
+a daye, he met the same phisytian, whiche, doubtynge whether hit were
+the same sycke man or nat, sayd: Arte nat thou Gaius? yes, truelye, quod
+he. Arte thou alyue or deed, sayde the phisitian? I am deed, quod he.
+What doste thou here than, said the phisitian? Bycause, quod he, that I
+haue experience of many thinges, God hath commanded me that I shulde
+come and take vp all the phisitians that I can get, to him. Whiche
+sayenge made Eumonus as pale as asshes for fere. Than Gaius sayd to him:
+drede thou nat, Eumonus, thoughe I sayd all phisitians: for there is no
+man that hath wytte, that wylle take the for one.
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[215] Fr. "guerir," to heal.
+
+[216] Poor, or, perhaps, poorly.
+
+
+
+
++ _Of Socrates and his scoldinge wyfe._ xlix.
+
+
++ Laertius wryteth, that the wyse man Socrates had a coursed scoldinge
+wyfe, called Xantippe, the whiche on a daye after she hadde alto[217]
+chydde him powred a * * * * * potte on his heed. He, takynge all
+paciently, sayde: dyd nat I tell you that, whan I herde Xantippe thonder
+so fast, that it wolde rayne anone after?
+
+Wherby ye maye se, that the wyser a man is, the more pacience he taketh.
+The wyse poet Virgil sayth: all fortune by suffrance must be ouercome.
+
+
+
+
++ _Of the phisitian that bare his paciente on honde, he had eaten an
+asse._ l.
+
+
++ A Phisitian, which had but smalle lerning, vsed whan he came to viset
+his pacientes to touche the pulce; and if any appayred, he wolde lay the
+blame on the paciente, and beare him on hande,[218] that he did eate
+fygges, apples, or some other thinge that he forbade: and bicause the
+pacientes other whyle confessed the same, they thought he had ben a
+very connynge man. His seruante hadde great maruayle, howe he parceyued
+that, and desyred his mayster to telle hym, whether he knewe hit by
+touching of the pulce, orels by some other hygher knowlege. Than sayde
+his mayster: for the good seruice that thou haste done me, I wyll open
+to the this secrete point. Whan I come in to the pacientes chamber, I
+loke al a bout: and, if I spye in the flore shales,[219] parynge of
+chese, of aples, or of peares, or any other scrappes, anone I
+coniecte,[220] that the paciente hath eaten thereof. And so to th' ende
+I wold be blameles, I lay the faute on theyr mysdiettynge.
+
+Nat longe after, the same seruaunte toke on hym to practise physike,
+whyche in lyke maner blamed his pacientes, and sayde, that they kepte
+nat the diete that he gaue them; and he bare them on hande that they
+yete some what, wherof he sawe the scrappes in the flore. On a tyme he
+cam to a poure man of the countre, and promysed to make him hole, if he
+wolde be gouerned after him, and sa gaue him to drinke I wote nat what,
+and went his waye tyll on[221] the morowe. Whan he came agayne, he
+founde the man sicker than euer he was. The rude fole, nat knowinge the
+cause, behelde here and there aboute, and whan he coude se no skrappes
+nor parynges, he was sore troubled in his mynde. So at the last he
+espied a saddel vnder the bed. Than said he all a loude, that he hadde
+at length parceyued, howe the sicke man enpayred: he hath so excessiuely
+passed diete (quod he), that I wonder he is nat deed. How so, quod they?
+Marye, quod he, ye haue made him to eate an holle asse! Lo, where the
+saddell lyethe yet vnder the bedde. For he thoughte the saddell had be
+lefte of the asse, as bones are of fleshe. For which folysshnes he was
+well laughed to skorne and mocked.
+
+Thus as a good faythfull phisitian is worthy of greate honour: for
+truely of hym dependethe the greattest parte of mans helthe, so lyke
+wyse a folysshe and an vnlerned, that thynkethe to cure with wordes,
+that he ought to do with herbes, is nat onely worthy to be deryded and
+mocked, but also punysshed: for nothynge is more perillous.
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[217] Orig. reads _all to_. We take the true meaning to be _alto_, as
+above, _i.e._ in a loud key.
+
+[218] Delude him with the false notion. _To bear on hande_, I presume to
+be synonymous with _To bear in hande_ of the use of which among old
+authors several examples are furnished by Nares (edit. 1859).
+
+[219] Shells.
+
+[220] Conjecture.
+
+[221] Orig. and Singer read _an_.
+
+
+
+
++ _Of the inholders[222] wyfe and her ii louers._ li.
+
+
++ Nere vnto Florence dwelled an inholder, whos wyfe was nat very
+dangerous[223] of her tayle. Vpon a nyghte as she was a bed with one of
+her louers, there came a nother to haue lyen with her. Whan she herde
+him come vp the ladder, she met him, and bade hym go thence, for she
+hadde no tyme than to fulfylle his pleasure. But for all her wordes he
+wolde nat go a waye, but stylle preaced[224] to come in. So longe they
+stode chydinge, that the good man came vpon them, and asked them why
+they brauled so. The woman, nat unprouyded of a disceytefull answere,
+sayde: Syr, this man wolde come in per force to slee or myschiefe an
+other, that is fled in to our house for succoure, and hitherto I haue
+kepte him backe. Whan he, that was within, herde her saye so, he beganne
+to plucke vp his harte and say, he wold be a wreked[225] on him
+withoute. And he that was withoute made a face, as he wolde kylle him
+that was within. The folysshe man, her husbande, enquered the cause of
+theyr debate, and toke vpon him to sette them at one.[226] And so the
+good sely man spake and made the pese betwene them both; yea, and
+farther he gaue them a gallon of wyne, addynge to his wiues aduoutry the
+losse of his wine.
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[222] Innkeeper.
+
+[223] Jealous, careful.
+
+
+
+
++ _Of hym that healed franticke men._ lii.
+
+
++ There dwelled a man in Italy, whiche vsed to heale men, that were
+franticke, on this maner. He had within his house a gutter, or a
+ditche, full of water, wherin he wold put them, some to the middell
+legge, some to the knee, and some dypper, as they were madde.[227] So
+one that was well amended, and wente aboute the house to do one thinge
+and other for his meate, as he stode on a tyme at the gate, lokinge in
+to the strete, he sawe a gentyll man ryde by with a great sorte[228] of
+haukes and houndes; the which he called to him and said: you gentyll
+man, whither go ye? On huntynge, quod the gentyll man. What do you with
+all those kytes and dogges, quod he? They be haukes and houndes, quod
+the gentyll man. Wherfore kepe you them, quod the other? For my
+pleasure, quod the gentyl man. What costeth it you a yere to kepe them,
+quod the other? XL duckettes, quod the gentyll man. And what do they
+profytte you, quod he? Foure duckettes, quod the gentyll man. Gette the
+lyghtlye hense, quod the madde man: for, if my mayster come and fynde
+the here, he wyll put the in to the gutter vp to the throte.
+
+This tale toucheth suche young gentyll menne, that dispende ouer moche
+good[229] on haukes, houndes, and other trifils.
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[224] Pressed.
+
+[225] Wreaked, revenged.
+
+[226] Reconcile them.
+
+[227] _i. e._ according to their degree of madness. See _Introduction_,
+viii. ix.
+
+[228] Assortment.
+
+[229] Goods
+
+
+
+
++ _Of hym that sayde he was not worthy to open the gate to the kynge._
+liii.
+
+
++ As a kynge of Englande hunted on a tyme in the countie of Kent, he
+hapte to come rydynge to a great gate, wherby stode a husbande man of
+the countrey, to whom the kynge sayde: good felowe, putte open the gate.
+The man perceyuynge it was the kynge, sayde: no, and please your grace,
+I am nat worthy; but I wyll go fetche Mayster Couper, that dwelleth nat
+past ij myles hense, and he shal open to you the gate.
+
+
+
+
++ _Of mayster Uauasour and Turpin his man._ liiii.
+
+
++ Mayster Vauasour,[230] sometyme a iudge of Englande, hadde a seruaunt
+with hym called Turpin, whiche had done hym seruyce many yeres; wherfore
+he came vnto his mayster on a tyme, and sayde to hym on this wyse: syr,
+I haue done you seruice longe; wherfore I pray you gyue me somwhat to
+helpe me in myn old age. Turpin, quod he, thou sayst trouthe, and
+hereon I haue thought many a tyme; I wyll tell the, what thou shalt do.
+Nowe shortly I must ride vp to London; and, if thou wilt beare my costis
+thether, I wyll surely gyue the suche a thing, that shall be worth to
+the an hundred pounde. I am contente, quod Turpin. So all the waye as he
+rode Turpin payd his costis, tyll they came to theyr last lodginge: and
+there after souper he cam to his mayster and sayde: sir, I haue born
+your costes hitherto, as ye badde me; nowe, I pray you let me se, what
+thynge hit is, that shulde be worthe an hundred pounde to me. Dyd I
+promise the suche a thynge, quod his mayster? ye, forsoth, quod Turpin.
+Shewe me thy wrytinge, quod maister Vauasour. I haue none, sayde Turpin.
+Than thou arte lyke to haue nothinge, sayde his maister. And lerne this
+at me.[231] Whan sa euer thou makest a bargayne with a man, loke that
+thou take sure wrytynge, and be well ware howe thou makest a writynge to
+any man. This poynte hath vayled[232] me an hundred pounde in my dayes:
+and so hit may the. Whan Turpin sawe there was none other remedy, he
+helde him selfe contente. On the morowe Turpin taryed a lytelle behynde
+his mayster to reken with the hostes, where they laye, and of her he
+borowed so moche money on his maysters skarlet cloke, as drewe to[233]
+all the costes that they spente by the waye. Mayster Vauasour had nat
+ryden past ii myle but that it began to rayne; wherfore he calledde for
+his cloke.--His other seruauntes saide, Turpin was behinde, and had hit
+with him. So they houedde[234] vnder a tre, tylle Turpin ouer toke them.
+Whan he was come, Mayster Vauasour all angerly sayde: thou knaue, why
+comest thou nat aweye with my cloke? Syr, and please you, quod Turpin, I
+haue layde hit to gage[235] for your costes al the waye. Why, knaue,
+quod his mayster, diddiste thou nat promyse to beare my charges to
+London? Dyd I, quod Turpin? ye, quod his mayster, that thou diddest. Let
+se, shew me your wriytinge therof, quod Turpin; wherto his mayster, I
+thinke, answered but lytell.
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[230] This old Yorkshire family produced several persons eminent in the
+legal profession from the time of Henry I. downward; but the one here
+intended was, in all probability, John Vavasour, who became Recorder of
+York, I Henry VII., and was made a justice of the Common Pleas in
+August, 1490. See Foss's _Judges of England_, v. 78, 79.
+
+[231] Of me.
+
+[232] _i. e._ availed, has been worth L100 to me.
+
+
+
+
++ _Of hym that sought his wyfe agaynst the streme._ lv.
+
+
++ A man the[re] was whose wyfe, as she came ouer a bridg, fell in to the
+ryuer and was drowned; wherfore he wente and sought for her vpward
+against the stream, wherat his neighboures, that wente with hym,
+maruayled, and sayde he dyd nought, he shulde go seke her downeward with
+the streme. Naye, quod he, I am sure I shall neuer fynde her that waye:
+for she was so waywarde and so contrary to euery thynge, while she
+lyuedde, that I knowe very well nowe she is deed, she wyll go a gaynste
+the stream.
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[233] _i. e. came_ to, or amounted to, covered.
+
+[234] Hovered, _i. e._ halted for shelter.
+
+[235] Laid it in pledge.
+
+
+
+
++ _Of hym that at a skyrmyshe defended him with his feet._ lvi.
+
+
++ A lustye yonge gentyll man of France, that on a tyme was at a
+skyrmysshe, and defended him selfe valyantly with his feet, came in to
+the courte, in to a chambre amonge ladies, with a goodly ringe vpon his
+fynger, to whom a fayre lady sayde: syr, why weare ye that rynge vpon
+your fynger? Wherfore aske you, madame, quod he? Bycause (sayde she)
+your feet dyd you better seruice than your handes at the last skyrmysshe
+that ye were at.
+
+By this tale yonge men may lerne to beare them well and valyantly for
+drede of reproche. Better is it with worshyp to dye than with shame to
+lyue, albe hit that Demosthenes sayde: he that fleethe cometh agayne to
+batayle.
+
+
+
+
++ _Of hym that wolde gyue a songe for his dyner._ lvii.
+
+
++ There came a felowe on a tyme in to a tauerne, and called for meate.
+So, whan he had well dyned, the tauerner came to reken and to haue his
+money, to whom the felowe sayde, he had no money, but I wyll, quod he,
+contente you with songes. Naye, quod the tauerner, I nede no songes, I
+must haue money. Whye, quod the felowe, if I synge a songe to your
+pleasure, will ye nat than be contente? yes, quod the tauerner. So he
+began, and songe thre or foure balades, and asked if he were pleased?
+No, sayde the tauerner. Than he opened his pourse, and beganne to synge
+thus:
+
+  Whan you haue dyned make no delaye
+  But paye your oste, and go your waye.
+
+Dothe this songe please you, quod he? Yes, marye, said the tauerner,
+this pleaseth me well. Than, as couenant was (quod the felowe), ye be
+paide for your vitaile. And so he departed, and wente his waye.
+
+This tale sheweth, that a man may be to hastye in makynge of a bargayne
+and couenantynge; and therfore a man ought to take good hede, what he
+sayth: for one worde may bynde a man to great inconuenience, if the
+matter be weighty.
+
+
+
+
++ _Of the foole that thought hym selfe deed._ lviii.
+
+
++ There was a felowe dwellynge at Florence, called Nigniaca, whiche was
+nat verye wyse, nor all a foole, but merye and iocunde. A sorte[236] of
+yonge men, for to laughe and pastyme, appoynted to gether to make hym
+beleue that he was sycke. So, whan they were agreed howe they wolde do,
+one of them mette hym in the mornynge, as he came out of his house, and
+bad him good morowe, and than asked him, if he were nat yl at ease? No,
+quod the foole, I ayle nothynge, I thanke God. By my faith, ye haue a
+sickely pale colour, quod the other, and wente his waye.
+
+Anone after, an other of them mette hym, and asked hym if he had nat an
+ague: for your face and colour (quod he) sheweth that ye be very sycke.
+Than the foole beganne a lyttel to doubt, whether he were sycke or no:
+for he halfe beleued that they sayd trouth. Whan he had gone a lytel
+farther, the thyrde man mette hym, and sayde: Jesu! manne, what do you
+out of your bed? ye loke as ye wolde nat lyue an houre to an ende. Nowe
+he doubted greatly, and thought verily in his mynde, that he had hadde
+some sharpe ague; wherfore he stode styll and wolde go no further; and,
+as he stode, the fourth man came and sayde: Jesu! man, what dost thou
+here, and arte so sycke? Gette the home to thy bedde: for I parceyue
+thou canste nat lyue an houre to an ende. Than the foles harte beganne
+to feynte,[237] and [he] prayde this laste man that came to hym to helpe
+hym home. Yes, quod he, I wyll do as moche for the as for myn owne
+brother. So home he brought hym, and layde hym in his bed, and than he
+fared with hym selfe, as thoughe he wolde gyue vp the gooste. Forth with
+came the other felowes, and saide he hadde well done to lay hym in his
+bedde. Anone after, came one whiche toke on hym to be a phisitian;
+whiche, touchynge the pulse, sayde the malady was so vehement, that he
+coulde nat lyue an houre. So they, standynge aboute the bedde, sayde one
+to an other: nowe he gothe his waye: for his speche and syght fayle him;
+by and by he wyll yelde vp the goste. Therfore lette vs close his eyes,
+and laye his hands a crosse, and cary hym forth to be buryed. And than
+they sayde lamentynge one to an other: O! what a losse haue we of this
+good felowe, our frende?
+
+The foole laye stylle, as one [that] were deade; yea, and thought in his
+mynde, that he was deade in dede. So they layde hym on a bere, and
+caryed hym through the cite. And whan any body asked them what they
+caryed, they sayd the corps of Nigniaca to his graue. And euer as they
+went, people drew about them. Among the prece[238] ther was a tauerners
+boy, the whiche, whan he herde that it was the cors of Nigniaca, he said
+to them: O! what a vile bestly knaue, and what a stronge thefe is deed!
+by the masse, he was well worthy to haue ben hanged longe ago. Whan the
+fole harde those wordes, he put out his heed and sayd: I wys, horeson,
+if I were alyue nowe, as I am deed, I wolde proue the a false lyer to
+thy face. They, that caryed him, began to laugh so hartilye, that they
+sette downe the bere, and wente theyr waye.
+
+By this tale ye maye se, what the perswasion of many doth. Certaynly he
+is very wyse, that is nat inclined to foly, if he be stered therevnto by
+a multitude. Yet sapience is founde in fewe persones: and they be
+lyghtly[239] olde sobre men.[240]
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[236] Knot, party.
+
+[237] To grow faint.
+
+[238] Crowd.
+
+[239] Usually. See Nares, edit. 1839, _in voce_.
+
+[240] This story is to be found in Poggius, who calls it _Mortuus
+Loquens_, and from Poggius it was transferred by Grazzini to his
+collection of Tales, not published till after his death.
+
+
+
+
++ _Of the olde man and his sonne that brought his asse to the towne to
+sylle._ lix.
+
+
++ An olde man on a tyme and a lyttell boye his sonne droue a litel asse
+before them, whiche he purposed to sylle at the markette towne, that
+they went to. And bicause he so dyd, the folkes that wrought by the way
+syde, blamed hym; wherfore he set vp his sonne, and went hym selfe on
+fote. Other, that sawe that, called hym foole, by cause he lette the
+yonge boye ryde, and he, beynge so aged, to goo a foote. Than he toke
+downe the boye, and lepte vp and rode hym selfe. Whanne he hadde rydden
+a lyttell waye, he harde other that blamed hym, bycause he made the
+lyttell yonge boye ronne after as a seruaunte, and he his father to
+ryde. Than he sette vppe the boye behynde hym, and so rode forthe.
+
+Anone he mette with other, that asked hym if the asse were his owne, by
+whiche wordes he coniected, that he did nat wel so to ouercharge the
+lyttell sely asse, that vnethe[241] was able to beare one. Thus he,
+troubled with their dyuers and manyfolde opinions; whiche, neither with
+his asse vacant, nor he alone, nor his sonne alone, nor bothe to gether
+rydyng at ones on the asse, coulde passe forth with out detraction and
+blame. Wherfore at last he bounde the asse[s] feet to gether, and put
+through a staffe; and so he and his sonne began to beare the asse
+betwene them on their shulders to the towne. The noueltie of whiche
+syght caused euery body to laughe and blame the folysshenes of them
+both. The sely olde man was so sore agreued that, as he sat and rested
+hym on a ryuers syde, he threwe his asse in to the water; and so whan he
+had drowned his asse he tourned home agayne. Thus the good man,
+desyrynge to please euerye bodye, contentynge none at all, loste his
+asse.
+
+By this tale appereth playnelye, that they, whiche commyt them selfe to
+the opinion of the common people, ben oppressed with great myserye and
+seruage: for how is it possible to please all, whan euerye man hath a
+dyuers opinion, and dyuerslye iudgeth and that was well knowen to the
+poet, whan he sayde:
+
+  _Scinditur incertum studia in contraria vulgus._
+
+And as Cicero, Persius, and Flaccus say: as many men so many myndes: as
+many heedes so many wyttes. That, that pleaseth one, displeaseth an
+other: Fewe alowe that that they loue nat: and that that a man aloweth,
+he thynketh good. Therfore the beste is, that euery man liue well, as a
+good Christen man shulde, and care nat for the vayne wordes and
+ianglynge of the people. For bablynge (as Plutarchus sayth) is a greuous
+disease, and harde to be remedied. For that that shulde heale it (which
+is wordes of wisdome) cureth them that harkneth there vnto; but pratlers
+wille here none but them selfe.
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[241] Scarcely.
+
+
+
+
++ _Of him that sought his asse and rode on his backe._ lx.
+
+
++ There was in the countrey of Florence an husbande man, that vsed to
+carye corne to the market vpon many lytell asses. On a tyme as he came
+home warde, bycause he was somewhat werye, to ease him selfe, he rode on
+one the strongest of them. And as he rode, dryuinge his asses before
+him, he counted them, and forgot the asse that he rode on; wherfore he
+thought still that he lacked one. Thus sore troubled in his mynde, he
+bad his wyfe set vp his asses, and hastily rode agayne backe to the
+towne vii myles of, to seke the asse that he rode on. He asked euery
+body that he met, if they sawe an asse straye alone. Whan he herde euery
+bodye saye they sawe none suche, makynge great sorowe, he retourned
+home agayne. At laste, whan he was alyghted his wyfe parceyued and
+shewedde hym playnlye, that the asse, that he rode on, was the same that
+he soughte, and made suche sorowe fore.
+
+This ieste may be well applied vnto suche as note the defautes, that
+they lyghtly[242] spy in other, and take none hede, nor can nat se, what
+ils they haue or[243] bene spotted with them selfe.
+
+
+
+
++ _The answere of Fabius to Liuius._ lxi.
+
+
++ Whan Anniball, the capitayne of Cartage, had conquered Tarent (a towne
+perteinyng to the Romayns), all saue the castell, and had lefte a
+garnison to kepe it, whan the worthy Romayne Fabius had knowelege
+therof, he pryuely conducted an armye thether, and got the towne agayne,
+and pylled[244] it. Than M. Liuius that kepte the castell with the
+garnison, sayde bostynge him selfe, that Fabius had gotte the towne
+through him and his helpe. You saye trouth, quod Fabius: for if you had
+nat loste the towne, I shulde neuer haue gotte hit.[245]
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[242] Readily. A story very like this occurs in _A Sackful of Newes_,
+1673. It was originally related by Poggius in his Facetiae, where it is
+entitled _Asinus Perditus_, and it has been imitated by La Fontaine in
+the fable of "Le Villageois qui cherche son veau." It is also the 12th
+tale of _Les Cent Nouvelles Nouvelles_.
+
+[243] Before.
+
+[244] Pillaged.
+
+
+
+
++ _The answere of Poltis, the kynge of Thrace, to the Troyan
+embassadors._[246] lxii.
+
+
++ Plutarche lyke wyse reherseth that, durynge the warre of Troy, the
+Grekes and also the Troians sent ambassadours to a kynge of Thrace
+calledde Poltis, whiche kynge answered th ambassadours and bade, that
+Alexandre shulde delyuer agayne Helayne (for she was the cause of the
+warre), and he wolde gyue him ii fayre wyues for her.
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[245] "Now there was one _Marcus Livius_, a ROMAINE that was Gouernour
+of TARENTUM at that time when _Hanniball_ tooke it, and neverthelesse
+kept the castell still out of _Hannibals_ hands, and so held it untill
+the city came againe into the hands of the ROMAINES. This _Livius_
+spited to see such honour done to _Fabius_, so that one day in open
+Senate, being drowned with enuy and ambition, he burst out and said,
+that it was himselfe, not _Fabius_, that was cause of taking of the city
+of TARENTUM again. _Fabius_, smiling to hear him, answeryd him opely:
+'Indeed, thou saiest true, for if thou hadst not lost it, I had never
+won it again.'"--Plutarch's _Lives_, transl. by Sir T. North, ed. 1603,
+fol. 192.
+
+[246] [Greek: Poltus, ho Thrakon basileus en to Troiko polemo
+presbeusamenon pros auton hama ton Troon kai ton Achaion, ekeleuse ton
+Alexandron apodonta ten Helenen, duo par autou labein kalas
+gynaikas.]--Plutarchi _Apothegmata_ (Opera Moralia et Philosophica, vol.
+vi. p. 665, edit. Lipsiae, 1777).
+
+
+
+
+
++ _The wyse answere of Hanibal to kynge Antiochus, concerninge his ryche
+armye._ lxiii.
+
+
++ Whan kynge Antiochus had prepared to make warre to the Romayns, he
+caused his armye to mustre before Anniball. So they shewed and mustred,
+both horse men and fote men; of whose ryche and sumptuous armour and
+apparaile al the felde glistred and shone. How saye you, quod the kynge
+to Hanibal, is nat this armye sufficient ynough for the Romayns? Yes,
+quod Haniball, and though they were the moste couetous of all the
+worlde. The kynge mente one thing, and he answered an other.[247]
+
+
+
+
++ _The wordes of Popilius the Romayn embassadour to Antiochus the
+kynge._ lxiiii.
+
+
++ One C. Popilius was sente vp[o]n a tyme by the Senatours of Rome with
+letters to Antiochus the kynge of Syrye, wherin the kyng was commaunded
+to calle his armye backe agayne oute of Aegipte: and that he shulde
+suffer the chyldren of Ptolome and theyr realme in peace. As th
+embassadour came by the kynges tentes and pauylyons, Antiochus a good
+waye of saluted him, but he did nat salute the kynge agayne, but
+delyuered to him his letters. Whan the kynge hadde redde the letters, he
+sayde, that he muste take counsayle, before he made him an answere.
+Popilius, with a rod that he had in his hande, made a compace aboute the
+kynge, and sayde: euen here standinge, take counsayle, and make me an
+answere. Euery man hadde meruayle at the grauite and stout stomacke of
+the man; and whan Antiochus was contente to do as the Romayns wolde haue
+hym, than Popilius both saluted and embraced him.[248]
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[247] See the 21st Novel of the 1st tome of the _Palace of Pleasure_
+(Haslewood's edit. i. 74).
+
+
+
+
++ _Of him that loued the marchants wyfe._ lxv.
+
+
++ Ther was a yonge lusty gentyll man vpon a tyme that was ryght amorous,
+and loued a certayne marchauntes wyfe oute of all measure, in so moch
+that he folowed her to the churche and other places, but he durste neuer
+speake. At the laste he, with two or thre of his felowes, folowed her
+to a fryers, where he hadde tyme and place conueniente to speake thre
+or four wordes to her, that he before had deuysed. So one of his felowes
+sayde: go nowe, speake to her. But he stode styll all astonied. They
+egged[249] and prouoked him so moche, that at last he wente vnto her,
+and, clene forgettynge those wordes that he had thoughte to haue spoken,
+he said to her on this wise: maistres, I am your owne lytel seruante;
+wherat she smyled and sayd: syr, I nede nat your seruyce: for I haue
+seruantes inow at home, that can brusshe, sponge, wasshe and do all my
+other busines. The whiche answere and folysshe basshemente of the gentyl
+man caused his felowes to laugh hartelye. This maner of folye was well
+knowen to the poet, whan he sayde:
+
+  _Incipit affari, mediaque in voce resistit._
+
+  Folysshe loue maketh folkes astonied
+  And eke to raue without remembrance
+  Whan they shulde speake, they bene abasshed
+  And of theyr wordes can make none vtterance
+  Nor be so hardye them selfe to auance
+  What tyme they se of her the swete face
+  Of whom the loue theyr hartes doth enbrace.
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[248] "Quibus perlectis, quum se consideraturum, adhibitis amicis, quid
+faciendum sibi esset, dixisset, Popilius, pro cetera asperitate animi,
+virga, quam in manu gerebat, circumscripsit regem: ac, 'Priusquam hoc
+circulo excedas,' inquit, 'redde responsum, senatui quod referam.'
+Obstupefactus tam violento imperio parumper quum haesitasset, 'Faciam,'
+inquit 'quod censet Senatus.' Tun demum Popilius dextram regi, tanquam
+socio atque amico, porrexit."--Livy, lib. xlv. c. 12, edit. Twiss.
+
+[249] Edged.
+
+
+
+
++ _Of the woman that couerd her heed and shewed her taile._ lxvi.
+
+
++ As a woman, that for a certayne impedimente had shaued her heed, sat
+in her house bare heed, one of her neighbours called her forth hastely
+into the strete, and for haste she forgotte to putte on her kerchefe.
+When her neighbour sawe her so, she blamed her for cominge abrode bare
+heed: wherfore she whypte vp her clothes ouer her heed. And so to couer
+her hed she shewed her * * *. They, that stode by, beganne to laugh at
+her folysshenes, whiche to hyde a lytell faute shewed a greatter.[250]
+
+This tale touchethe them, that wolde couer a smalle offence with a
+greatter wyckednesse; and as the prouerbe saythe: Stomble at a strawe,
+and leape ouer a blocke.
+
+
+
+
++ _Howe Alexander was monysshed to slee the fyrste that he mette._
+lxvii.
+
+
++ Whan great Alexander wolde entre in to Perse lande with his armye, he
+counsayled with Apollo of his good spede:[251] and by lotte[252] he was
+warned, that he shulde commaunde to slee the fyrst that he mette, whan
+he issued out at a gate. Perchaunce, the fyrste that he mette was a man
+dryuynge an asse before hym. Incontinent the kyng commaunded to take and
+put hym to dethe. Whan the poore man sawe, that they wolde slee him, he
+said: what haue I done? Shall I that am an innocent [man] be putte to
+deathe? Alexander, to excuse his dede, sayde, he was warned by diuine
+monition to commaunde to slee the fyrste that he mette comynge out at
+that gate. If it be so, myghty kyng (quod the man), than the lotte
+dyuine hath ordeyned an other to suffre this deth and not me: for the
+lytel asse, that I droue before me, mette you fyrste.
+
+Whiche subtyle sayenge greatly pleased Alexander: for elles he had done
+amysse; and so he caused the beaste to be slayne.
+
+By this tale one may note, that it is better sometyme to be laste than
+fyrste.
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[250] "Mal est cache a qui l'on void le dos."--Leigh's _Select French
+Proverbs_, 1664.
+
+[251] Good fortune.
+
+[252] Casting of lots.
+
+
+
+
++ _Howe the cite of Lamsac was saued from destruction._ lxviii.
+
+
++ As great Alexander on a tyme was fully purposed to haue vtterly
+distroyed a great cite, called Lamsac,[253] he sawe his mayster
+Anaximenes[254] come towarde him withoute the walles: and bicause the
+kynge perceyued manifestlye, that he came to entreate hym for the cite,
+he sware a great othe, that he wolde nat do that that he came to desyre
+hym fore. Than Anaximenes sayde: sir, I desyre your grace, that this
+same cite Lampsac may be vtterly distroyed. Through which sage and
+subtile sayeng the noble auncient citie was saued from ruyne and
+destruction.
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[253] Lampsacus.
+
+[254] Anaximenes, the historian, who wrote an account of the Life of
+Alexander the Great. He was a native of Lampsacus, and the nephew of the
+orator of the same name.
+
+
+
+
++ _Howe Demosthenes defended a mayde._ lxix.
+
+
++ There were two men on a time, the whiche lefte a great somme of money
+in kepyng with a maiden on this condition, that she shulde nat delyuer
+hit agayne, excepte they came bothe to gether for hit. Nat lang after,
+one of them cam to hir mornyngly arayde, and sayde that his felowe was
+deed, and so required the money, and she delyuered it to hym. Shortly
+after came the tother man, and required to haue the moneye that was
+lefte with her in kepyng. The maiden was than so sorowfull, both for
+lacke of the money, and for one to defende her cause, that she thought
+to hange her selfe. But Demosthenes, that excellent oratour, spake for
+her and sayd: sir, this mayden is redy to quite her fidelite,[255] and
+to deliuer agayne the money that was lefte with her in kepynge, so that
+thou wylt brynge thy felowe with the to resceyue it. But that he coude
+nat do.
+
+
+
+
++ _Of him that desired to be made a gentilman._ lxx.
+
+
++ There was a rude clubbysshe[256] felowe, that longe had serued the
+duke of Orliance; wherfore he cam on a tyme to the duke, and desired to
+be made a gentyll man. To whom the duke answered: in good feyth, I may
+well make the ryche, but as for gentyl man I can neuer make the.[257]
+
+By which wordes appereth, that goodes and riches do not make a gentyl
+man, but noble and vertuous conditions do.
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[255] _i.e._ Discharge, or acquit herself of, her trust.
+
+[256] Uncouth. "If thou shuldest refuse to do any of these thynges, and
+woldest assaye to do some thing of more sadnes and prudence, they wyll
+esteme and count the vnmanerly, _cloubbysshe_, frowarde, and clene
+contrarye to all mennes myndes."--Erasmus _De Contemptu Mundi_, transl.
+by Thomas Paynel, 1533, fol. 42. "Rusticitie may seem to be an ignorance
+of honesty and comelinesse. A Clowne or rude fellow is he, who will goe
+into a crowd or presse, when he hath taken a purge: and hee that sayth,
+that Garlicke is as sweet as a gillifiower: that weares shooes much
+larger then his foot: that speakes alwaies very loud:"
+&c.,--_Theophrastus His Characters_, translated by John Healey, 1616,
+pp. 15, 16. It is a generally received opinion that this work has come
+down to us in a corrupt shape.
+
+[257] Times were altered when the curious ballad "These Knights will
+hack," printed by Mr. Halliwell from Addit. MS. 5832, in one of the
+Shakespeare Society's publications (_Marriage of Wit and Wisdom_, &c.,
+p. 144), was directed against the mushroom-knights of James I.:--
+
+"Come all you farmers out of the countrey, Carters, plowmen, hedgers,
+and all, Tom, Dick, and Will, Ralph, Roger, and Humphrey, Leave of your
+gestures rusticall. Bidde all your home-sponne russets adue, And sute
+yourselves in fashions new: Honour invits you to delights; Come all to
+court, and be made knights. He that hath fortie pounds per annum Shal be
+promoted from the plow: His wife shall take the wall of her grannam,
+Honour is sould so dog-cheap now," &c.
+
+
+
+
++ _Of the gentyll man and his shrewde wyfe._ lxxi.
+
+
++ There was a certayne gentyll man, that had a cursed chydynge wyfe,
+that wente euery day, and complayned on hym to a religious man, the
+whiche religious man toke vpon hym by weye of confession to reconcile
+and accorde them to gether: and the gentyll man was very well contente,
+that he so shulde do, and came to him therfore. Whan the gentyll man was
+come, the religious man badde hym shewe his offences and trespaces. No,
+quod the gentyll man, that nedeth nat: for I knowe verye well my wyfe
+hath shewed vnto you all the offences that euer I dyd, and moche more.
+
+
+
+
++ _Of the two yonge men that rode to Walsyngham._[258] lxxii.
+
+
++ One John Roynoldes[259] rode oute of London vpon a tyme towarde
+Walsyngham, in company of a yonge man of the same cite, that hadde nat
+moche ben accustomed to ryde. So they came to an Inne, where a[260]
+great companye was lodged. And in the mornynge whan euery man made hym
+redy to ryde, and some were on horsebacke setting forwarde, John
+Roynoldes founde his companion, syttynge in a browne study at the Inne
+gate, to whom he sayd: for shame, man, how syttest thou? Why doste thou
+nat make the redy to horsebacke, that we myght sette forwarde with
+companye? I tary (quod he) for a good cause. For what cause, quod
+Roynoldes? Marye (quod he), here be so many horses, that I can nat telle
+whiche is myne owne amonge the other, and I knowe well, whan euery man
+is riden and gone, the horse that remaineth behynde must nedes be myn.
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[258] Consult the new edition of Nares' Glossary, voce _Walsingham_.
+"This is an Image of oure Ladye. Ergo it is oure Ladye, and here she
+wyll worke wounders more than in an other place, as she dyd at
+Walsingham, at Boston, at Lincoln, at Ipswiche, and I cannot tell
+where."--Wilson's _Rule of Reason_, 1551, 8vo. sign S ii _verso_. In
+Percy's _Reliques_, ii. 91, is the ballad "As I went to Walsingham."
+"Have with you to Walsingham" is mentioned as a musical composition in
+Ward's _Lives of the Professors of Gresham College_. See also Burney's
+_Hist. of Music_, iii. p. 111. When people employed this form of
+adjuration, as was formerly very common, they were said, for brevity's
+sake, "to swear Walsingham." In the play of _The Weakest Goeth to the
+Wall_, 1600, 4to. Barnaby Bunch the Botcher sings:
+
+"King Richard's gone to Walsingham, To the Holy Land!"
+
+with what are intended for comic interlocutions. In March, 1502--3,
+Elizabeth of York, consort of Henry VII, made an oblation of six
+shillings and eightpence to "oure lady of Walsingham" (_Privy Purse
+Expenses of Elizabeth of York_, edited by Nicolas, p. 3). This offering
+may not appear very large, but it was thought a considerable sum to
+devote to the purpose in those days; for in the _Northumberland
+Household Book_, ed. 1827, p. 337, we find that the yearly offering of
+the Earl of Northumberland (Henry Algernon Percy, 5th. Earl, b. 1478, d.
+1527) to the same shrine was fourpence. There is a fuller account of the
+Shrine of Walsingham, &c., in Chappell's _Popular Music of the Olden
+Time_, 121, et seqq.
+
+[259] It is just possible that this individual may be identical with the
+"John Reynolde" mentioned in the subjoined extract from the _Privy Purse
+Expenses of Elizabeth of York_, under date of December, 1502:--
+
+"It[=m] the xvth day of Decembre, to John Reynolde for money by him
+payed to a man that broke a yong hors of the Quenes at Mortymer by the
+space of v wekes, every weke iis. s[=m]. xs."
+
+
+
+
++ _Of the yonge man of Bruges, and his spouse._ lxxiii.
+
+
++ A yonge man of Bruges, that was betrouthed to a fayre mayden, came on
+a tyme, whan her mother was out of the way, and had to do with her. Whan
+her mother was come in, anone she perceyued by her doughters chere, what
+she had done; wherfore she was so sore displesed, that she sewed a
+diuorse, and wolde in no wyse suffre that the yonge man shulde marye her
+daughter.
+
+Nat longe after, the same yonge man was maryed to an other mayden of the
+same parysshe: and as he and his wyfe satte talkynge on a tyme of the
+forsayde dammusell, to whome he was betrouthed, he fell in a nyce[261]
+laughyng. Whereat laugh ye? quod his wyfe. It chaunced on a tyme (quod
+he), that she and I dydde suche a thyng to gether, and she tolde hit to
+her mother. Therin (quod his wyfe) she playde the foole: a seruante of
+my fathers playde that game with me an hundred tymes, and yet I neuer
+tolde my mother. Whan he herde her saye so, he lefte his nyce laughynge.
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[260] Orig. reads _as_.
+
+
+
+
++ _Of hym that made as he hadde ben a chaste lyuer._ lxxiiii.
+
+
++ A felowe, that toke vpon him, as he had ben the moste chaste and beste
+disposed man lyuinge, was by one of his felowes on a tyme taken in
+aduoutry,[262] and sharpely rebuked for it, bycause he prated so moche
+of chastite, and yet was taken in the same faute. To whome he answerde
+againe: O fool, doste thou thinke that I did it for bodely pleasure? No!
+no! I dyd it but onely to subdue my flesshe, and to purge my reynes.
+
+Wherby ye may perceyue, that of all other dissemblynge hipocrytes are
+the worste.
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[261] Foolish. Used in this sense by Chaucer and Shakespeare. See the
+last edit, of Nares _in voce_.
+
+[262] I have already explained this word to signify adultery. The latter
+form appears to have been little used by old writers (though it occurs
+in the _Rule of Reason_, 1551, 8vo. by Thomas Wilson). Thus in Paynel's
+translation of Erasmus _De Contemptu Mundi_,1533, fol. 16, we
+find--"Richesse engendre and brynge forth inceste and advoutry."
+
+"_Hobs._ Mass, they say King Henry is a very _advoutry_ man.
+
+"_King._ A devout man? And what King Edward?"--
+
+Heywood's _Edward IV._ Part I. 1600.
+
+
+
+
++ _Of hym that the olde roode fell on._ lxxv.
+
+
++ As a man kneled vpon a tyme prayenge before an olde rode, the rode
+felle downe on him and brak his hede; wherfore he wolde come no more in
+the churche halfe a yere after. At lengthe, by the prouocation of his
+nighbours, he cam to the churche agayne; and bycause he sawe his
+nighbours knele before the same rode, he kneled downe lyke wyse and
+sayde thus: well, I may cappe and knele to the; but thou shake neuer
+haue myn harte agayne, as long as I lyue.
+
+By which tale appereth, that by gentyll and courteyse entreatinge mens
+myndes ben obteyned.[263] For though the people cappe and knele to one
+in highe authorite, yet lyttell whoteth he, what they thynke.
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[263] Orig. and Singer read _opteyned_.
+
+
+
+
++ _Of the wydow that wolde nat wedde for bodily pleasure._ lxxvi.
+
+
++ There was a ryche wydowe, whiche desyredde a gossyp of hers, that she
+wold get her an husband: nat for the nyce playe, quod she, but to th'
+entente he may kepe my goodes to gether, whiche is an harde thinge for
+me to do, beynge a lone woman. Her gossyp, whiche vnderstode her
+conceyte, promysed her so to do. Aboute iii or iiii dayes after, she
+came to her agayne, and sayde: gossyp, I haue founde an husbande for
+you, that is a prudente, a ware, and a worldlye[264] wyse man, but he
+lacketh his priuey members, wherof ye force nat. Go to the dyuell with
+that husbande (quod the wydowe): for though that I desyre nat the nyce
+playe: yet I wylle that myne husbande shall haue that, where with we may
+be reconciled, if we falle at variance.
+
+
+
+
++ _Of the couetous ambassodour, that wolde here no musike._ lxxvii.
+
+
++ Whan a couetous man on a time was come vnto a certain cite, whither he
+was sent as ambassadour for his contrey, anon the mynstrels of the cite
+came to him to fil his eares with swete din, to th' intente he shuld fyl
+their purses with money. But he, perceyunge that, bad one of his
+seruauntes go and telle them, that he coulde nat than intende[265] to
+here their musicke, but he muste demene great sorow, for his mother was
+deed. So the minstrels, disapointed of theyr purpose, all sadlye went
+theyr waye. And whan a worshipfull man of the cite, that was his frende,
+herd tell of his mourning, he came to visete and comforte him; and so in
+talkynge together he asked, howe longe a go it was that his mother
+deceased? Truelye (quod he), hit is xl yere ago. Than his frende,
+vnderstandyinge his subtilte, beganne to laughe hartely.
+
+This tale is aplyed to the couetous men, whiche by al crafte and meanes
+study to kepe and encreace theyr money and substance; agaynst whiche
+vyce many thinges ben wryten. As farre (sayth one) is that frome a
+couetous man that he hath, as that he hath nat.[266] And Diogenes
+calleth couetousnes the heed of all yuels, and saynt Hieronyme calleth
+couetousnes the rote of all yuels. And for an example, the tale
+folowinge shall be of couetousnes.
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[264] Orig. and Singer read _wordlye_.
+
+[265] Give attention.
+
+[266] "The covetous man is servaunt and nat mayster vnto riches: and the
+waster will nat longe be mayster therof. The one is possessed and doth
+nat possesse; and the other within a shorte whyle leueth the possession
+of riches."--Erasmus _De Contemptu Mundi_, 1533, fol. 17 (Paynel's
+translation). So also, in the _Rule of Reason_, 1551, 8vo, Wilson
+says:--"Is a covetous man poore or not? I may thus reason with my self.
+Why should a couetous man be called poore, what affinitie is betwixt
+them twoo? Marie, in this poynct thei bothe agree, that like as the
+poore man ever lacketh and desireth to have, so the covetous manne ever
+lacketh, wantyng the use of that whiche he hath, and desireth styl to
+have." "To a covetous ma he (Pythagoras) sayde:--"O fole, thy ryches are
+lost upon the, and are very pouertie."--Baldwin's _Treatise of Morall
+Phylosophie_, 1547.
+
+
+
+
++ _How Denise the tirant serued a couetous man._ lxxix.
+
+
++ It was shewed to Denise the tyran, that a couetous man of the cite had
+hyd a great some of money in the grounde, and lyued moste wretchedly:
+wherfore he sente for the man, and commaunded him to go dyg vp the
+money, and so to deliuer it vnto him. The man obeyed, and delyuered vnto
+the tyran all the golde and treasure that he hadde, saue a small some,
+that he priuelye kept a syde: where with he wente in to an other cite,
+and forsoke Syracuse: and there bought a lytell lande, where vpon he
+lyued. Whan the tyran vnderstode that he hadde so done, he sent for him
+agayne; and whan he was come, the tyran sayde to him: syth thou haste
+lerned nowe to vse well thy goodes, and nat to kepe them vnprofytably, I
+wyll restore them all to the agayne. And so he dyd.
+
+
+
+
++ _Of the olde man, that quengered[267] the boy oute of the apletree
+with stones._ lxxx.
+
+
++ As an olde man walked on a tyme in his orcherd he loked vp, and sawe a
+boye sytte in a tree, stealynge his apples; whom he entreated with fayre
+wordes to come downe, and let his apples alone. And whan the olde man
+sawe, that the boye cared nat for him, by cause of his age, and set
+noughte by his wordes, he sayde: I haue harde saye, that nat onlye in
+wordes, but also in herbes, shulde be greatte vertue. Wherfore he
+plucked vp herbes, and beganne to throwe them at the boye, wherat the
+boye laughed hartelye, and thought that the olde man hadde ben mad, to
+thynke to driue him out of the tree with casting of herbes. Than the
+olde man sayde: well, seynge that nother wordes nor herbes haue no
+vertue agaynste the stealer of my goodes, I wylle proue what stones
+wylle do, in whiche, I haue harde men saye, is great vertue; and so he
+gathered his lappe full of stones, and threwe them at the boye, and
+compelled hym to come downe, and renne awaye.
+
+This tale sheweth, that they, that bene wyse, proue many wayes, before
+they arme them.
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[267] Conjured.
+
+
+
+
++ _Of the ryche man that wolde not haue a glyster._ lxxxi.
+
+
++ There was a certayn riche man on a tyme, whiche felle sycke, to the
+whose curynge came many phisitians (for flyes by heapes flee to honye).
+Amonge them all there was one that sayde, that he muste nedes take a
+glyster, if he wolde be holle. Whan the sicke man, that was nat envred
+with that medicine, harde hym saye so, he sayde in a great furye: out a
+dores with those phisitians! they be madde: for, where as my payne is in
+my heed, they wolde heale me in myne * * * *.
+
+This fable sheweth that holsom thynges to them, that lacke knowlege and
+experyence, seme hurtfull.
+
+
+
+
++ _Of hym that feyned hym selfe deed to proue what his wyfe wolde do._
+lxxxii.
+
+
++ A yonge married man on a time, to proue, to here and to se what his
+wyfe wolde do, if he were deed, came in to his house, whyle his wyfe was
+forthe wasshynge of clothes, and layd him downe in the floore, as he had
+ben deed. Whan his wyfe came in, and sawe him lye so, she thought he had
+ben deed in dede; wherfore she stode euen stylle, and deuysed with her
+selfe whether was better to bewayle his dethe forth with, or els to dyne
+fyrste; for she had eate of nomeate[268] all the day. All other thinges
+consydered, she determined to dyne fyrste. So she cut a coloppe of
+baken, and broyled it on the coles, and began to eate theron a pace; she
+was so hungrye, that she toke no hede of drynke. At laste, the saltenes
+of the meate made her to thyrste so sore, that she muste nedes drynke.
+So, as she toke the potte in her hande, and was goyng downe into her
+seller to drawe drynke, sodaynely came one of her neyghbours for a cole
+o' fyre.[269] Wherfore she stepped backe quickely, and though she was
+right thyrsty, yet she sette the potte a syde; and as [if] her husbande
+had than fallen downe deed, she beganne to wepe, and with many
+lamentable wordes to bewayle his dethe; which wepynge and walyng and
+sodaine dethe of her husbande caused all the neyghbours to come thyther.
+The man laye stylle in the floore, and so helde his brethe, and closed
+his eies, that he semed for certayne to be deade. At laste, whanne he
+thought he had made pastyme inough, and herynge his wyfe saye thus:
+alas! dere husbande, what shall I do nowe? he loked vp and sayde: full
+yll, my swete wyfe, excepte ye go quyckely and drynke; wherwith they al
+from wepyng tourned to laughynge, specially whan they vnderstode the
+matter and the cause of her thyrste.
+
+Wherby ye may se, that nat without a good skyl the poet sayde:
+
+  _Ut flerent oculos erudiere suos._
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[268] Orig. reads _no meat of_.
+
+[269] Orig. reads _a fire_.
+
+
+
+
++ _Of the poure man, into whose house theues brake by nyghte._[270]
+lxxxiii.
+
+
++ There was a poore man on a tyme, the whiche vnto theues, that brake
+into his house on nyght, he sayde on this wyse: syrs, I maruayle, that
+ye thynke to fynde any thyng here by nyght: for I ensure you I can fynd
+nothing, whan it is brode day.
+
+  By this tale appereth playnly
+  That pouerte is a welthy mysery.
+
+
+
+
++ _Of hym that shulde haue ben hanged for his scoffynge._ lxxxiiii.
+
+
++ There was a mery felowe in hygh Almayn, the whiche, with his scoffynge
+and iestynge, had so moche displeased a great lorde of the countreye,
+that he thretned to hange hym, if euer he coude take hym in his
+countrey. Nat longe after, this lordes seruauntes toke hym, and hanged
+he shulde be. Whanne he sawe there was no remedy but that he shulde dye,
+he sayde: my lorde, I muste nedes suffre dethe, whiche I knowe I haue
+wel deserued. But yet I beseke you graunte me one peticion for my
+soule[s] helthe. The lorde, at the instaunce of the people that stode
+aboute, so it dydde not concerne his lyfe, was contente to graunte it
+hym. Than the felowe sayde: I desyre you, my lorde, that after I am
+hanged, to come iii mornynges, fresshe and fastynge, and kysse me on the
+bare ****. Where vnto the lorde answered: the deuyll kysse thyne ****:
+and so let hym go.
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[270] This tale, which is a very old one, is also found in _Jests to
+Make You Merie_, by T[homas] D[ekker] and George Wilkins, Lond. 1607,
+4to. and in the _Philosophers Banquet_, 1614, 3vo.
+
+
+
+
++ _Of hym that had his goose stole._ lxxxv.
+
+
++ A man, that had a goose stoole from hym, went and complayned to the
+curate, and desyred hym to do so moche as helpe, that he had his goose
+again. The curate sayde he wolde. So on Sonday the curate, as though he
+wolde curse, wente vp in to the pulpit, and bade euery body syt downe.
+So, whan they were set, he said: why sit ye nat downe? We be set all
+redy, quod they. Naye (quod the curate) he that dyd stele the goose
+sitteth nat. Yes, that I do, quod he. Sayste thou that, quod the curate?
+I charge the, on peyne of cursing, to bryng the goose home ageyn.
+
+
+
+
++ _Of the begger that sayd he was kyn to kyng Philip of Macedone._
+lxxxvi.
+
+
++ There came a begger to kyng Philip of Macedone on a tyme, and prayde
+the kyng to gyue hym some what; and farther he sayde he was his kynse
+man. And whan the kyng asked hym which way, he answered and sayde howe
+they came bothe of Adam. Than the kynge commanded to gyue hym an almes.
+Whan the begger sawe it was but a small pece of moneye, he sayde, that
+was nat a semely gyfte for a kynge. The kynge answered: if I shuld gyue
+euery manne so moche, that is my kynse manne lyke as thou arte, I shulde
+leaue nothynge for my selfe.[271]
+
+
+
+
++ _Of Dantes answere to the iester._ lxxxvii.
+
+
++ Dantes the poete dwelled a whyle with Can, the Prince de la
+Scale,[272] with whome also dwelled an other Florentyne, that hadde
+neyther lernynge nor prudence, and was a man mete for nothynge but to
+scoffe and ieste; but yet with his mery toyes, he so moued the sayd Can,
+that he dydde greatly enryche hym. And, bycause Dantes dispised his
+foolysshenes, this scoffer sayd to hym: how cometh it, Dantes, that thou
+art helde[273] so wyse and so well lerned, and yet arte poore and nedy?
+I am an vnlerned man and am an ignorant fole, and yet I am farre richer
+than thou art. To whom Dantes answered: if I may fynde a lord lyke and
+conformable to my maners, as thou hast founde to thyn, he wyll lyke wyse
+make me ryche.
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[271] In _Chevraeana_, premiere partie, Paris, 1697, 8vo. p. 119, this
+story is altered to suit the Emperor Maximilian I.
+
+[272] See Balbo, _Vita di Dante_, edit. 1853. Can de la Scala, mentioned
+in the text, was one of the sons of Alberto de la Scala, Lord of Verona,
+and was born in 1292. Some account of Alberto de la Scala may be found
+in my _Venetian History_.
+
+The anecdote related here probably refers to the earlier period of
+Dante's acquaintance with the prince, about A. D. 1318-20. Balbo does
+not seem to have thought this story worthy of notice, though he
+furnishes one or two other examples of the poet's powers of retort. See
+also Cinthio's _Hecatommithi, Deca Settima, Novella settima_, edit.
+1608.
+
+
+
+
++ _Of hym that had sore eyes._[274] lxxxviii.
+
+
++ One, that had sore eies, was warned of the phisitian, that he shulde
+in any wyse forbeare drinking or els lose his eies: to whom he sayd: it
+is more pleasure for me to lose myne eies with drinkynge, than to kepe
+them for wormes to eate them oute.
+
+By this tale ye may perceyue, that it auayleth nat to warne some for
+theyr own profytte.
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[273] Orig. reads _holde_.
+
+[274]
+
+"_On Sore Eyes._
+
+_Fuscus_ was councell'd if he would preserve His eyes in perfect sight,
+drinking to swerve; But he reply'd, 'tis better that I shu'd Loose the,
+then keep them for the worms as food."
+
+_Wits Recreations_, 1640 (p. 35 of reprint 1817).
+
+
+
+
++ _Of the olde woman that had sore eyes._ lxxxix.
+
+
++ There was an olde woman, the whiche bargayned with a surgean to heale
+her sore eyes; and whanne he hadde made her eies hole, and that she sawe
+better, she couenaunted that he shulde be payde his moneye, and not
+before. So he layde a medycyne to her eyes, that shulde not be taken
+awaye the space of v dayes, in whiche tyme she myghte nat loke vppe.
+Euery daye, whan he came to dresse her, he bare awaye some what of her
+householde stouffe, table clothes, candelstickes and disshes. He lefte
+no thinge, that he coulde carye clene. So whan her eies were hole, she
+loked vp, and sawe that her householde stouffe was caryede awaye. She
+sayde to the surgian, that came and required his money for his labour:
+syr, my promise was to pay you, whan ye made me se better than I did
+before. That is trouth, quod he. Mary, quod she, but I se worse nowe
+than I did. Before ye layde medicins to myn eies, I sawe moche fayre
+stouffe in myn house, and now I se nothinge at all.
+
+
+
+
++ _Of hym that had the custodi of a warde._ xc.
+
+
++ A certayn man, that had the custody of a ward and his goodes, and in
+shorte space had spente all awaye, was by the gouernour of the cite
+commanded to bring in his bookes of _Introitus et exitus_, that is to
+saye, of entraunce and layenge oute, and to gyue accompte of the
+orphlins[275] goodes. So whan he came, he shewed fyrste his mouthe, and
+sayde, here it wente in: and after he shewed vp his ****, and sayde:
+here hit wente out, and other bookes of _Introitus et exitus_ I haue
+none.
+
+
+
+
++ _Of the excellent paynter, that had foule children._ xci.
+
+
++ There was a peinter in Rome that was an excellent counnynge man, and
+bycause he had foule children, one sayde to him: by my feyth, I maruayle
+that you paynte so goodelye, and gette so foule chyldren. Yea, quod the
+peynter, I make my chyldren in the darke, and I peynte those fygures by
+daye lyght.[276]
+
+[275] See the new edition of Nares _in voce_. _Orphlin_ is merely a
+contraction of the French _orphelin_.
+
+[276]
+
+"A Skilfull Painter such rare pictures drew, That every man his
+workemanship admir'd:
+
+
+
+So neere the life in beautie, forme and hew, As if dead Art 'gainst
+Nature had conspir'd. Painter, sayes one, thy wife's a pretty woman, I
+muse such ill-shapt children thou hast got, Yet mak'st such pictures as
+their likes makes no man, I prethee tell the cause of this thy lot?
+Quoth he, I paint by day when it is light, And get my children in the
+darke at night."--
+
+Taylor's _Sculler_, 1612 (Works, 1630, iii. 22).
+
+
+
+
++ _Of the scoffer that made a man a south sayer._ xcii.
+
+
++ There was a mery scoffynge felowe on a tyme, the whiche toke on him to
+teach a man to be a south sayer. Whan they were agreedde, what he shuld
+haue for his labour, the scoffer sayde to the man: holde! eate this
+rounde pellet, and I warant thou shalte be a south sayer. The man toke
+and put it in his mouth, and began to champe theron, but hit sauered so
+ill, that he spyt it out forth with, and said: phy! this pellet, that
+thou gyueste me to eate, sauereth all of a *****: Thou sayst trouth
+(quod the scoffer), nowe thou arte a south sayer; and therefore paye me
+my money.[277]
+
+
+
+
++ _Of the marchaunt of Florence called Charles._ xciii.
+
+
++ A marchaunt of Florence, called Charles, came frome Auignone to Rome;
+and as he sate at souper with a great company, one asked him how the
+Florentins at Auignone fared? He sayde they were merye and gladde: for
+they that dwelle there a yere (quod he) be as men that were franticke
+and out of theyr myndes. Than an other, that sate at souper with them,
+asked this Charles, how longe he had dwelled there. He answerde: vi
+monethes. Charles (quod he that asked him the question), thou haste a
+great wytte: for hit, that other be about xii monethes, thou hast
+fulfylled in halfe a yere.
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[277] See _Scoggin's Jests_, p. 28 (edit. 1796).
+
+
+
+
++ _Of the chesshire man called Eulyn._ xciiii.
+
+
++ Ther dwelled a man in Chesshyre called Eulyn, whiche vsed to go to the
+towne many tymes; and there he wolde sytte drynkyng tyl xii of the
+clocke at nyghte, and than go home. So on a tyme he caryed a lyttell
+boye his sonne on his shulder with him, and whan the chylde fell a slepe
+about ix of the clocke, the ale wyfe brought him to bed with her
+chyldren. At mydnyghte Eulyn wente home, and thought no more of his
+chylde. As sone as he came home, his wyfe asked for her chyld. Whan she
+spake of the chylde, he loked on his shulder; and whan he sawe he was
+not ther, he said he wist nat where he was. Out vpon the, horson (quod
+she), thou hast let mi child fal in to the water (for he passed ouer the
+water of Dee at a brige). Thou list,[278] hore (quod he): for if he had
+fallen into the water, I shuld haue hard him plump.
+
+
+
+
++ _Of him that desired to be set vpon the pillori._ xcv.
+
+
++ There were iii loytteringe felowes fell in companye on a tyme, the
+whiche wente so longe to gether tylle all theyr money was spente. Whan
+their money was gone, one of them sayd: what shal we do now? By my faith
+(quod an other), if I might come where preace of people were, I coulde
+get moneye inough for vs. And I (quod the iii) can assemble people to
+gether lyghtly. So whan they came in to a lyttelle towne, where a newe
+pillory was sette vp, he, that sayde he coude lyghtly assemble people to
+gether, went to the bayly of the towne whiche was a boucher, and desyred
+him, that he wolde gyue him leaue to haue the maidenheed of the pyllory.
+Whiche requeste at the fyrste abasshed the bayllye: for he wyst not what
+he mente therby; wherfore he toke counsayle of his neighbours, what was
+best to do, and they bade him set vp the knaue, and spare nat. So whan
+he was on the pillorye, he loked aboute, and sawe his ii felowes busy in
+the holes of the bouchers aprons, where thei vsed to put theyr money.
+Than he said: ther now, go to a pace. The people gaped vp styll and
+laughed; and whan he saw that his felowes had sped their maters, and
+were going away, he said to the peple: now turne the pilori ones about,
+and than I wyl com downe. So they laughing hartily did. Whan the felow
+was com downe from the pyllory, the baylie sayde to hym: by my faythe,
+thou arte a good felowe, and by cause thou haste made vs so good sporte,
+holde I wyll gyue the a grote to drynke, and so putte his hande in the
+hole of his apron. But there he founde neuer a penye. Cockes[279] armes!
+(quod the bayllye) my pourse is pycked, and my moneye is gone. Syr
+(quod the felowe), I truste ye wyll beare me recorde, that I haue hit
+nat. No, by the masse, quod he, thou were on the pyllorie the whyle.
+Than, no force, quod the felow, and wente his waye.
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[278] Liest.
+
+[279] (?) God's alms. Browne calls this a _dunghill_ oath:--
+
+"With that the _Miller_ laughing brush'd his cloathes, Then swore by
+Cocke and other dung-hill oathes."
+
+_Britannias Pastorals_, lib. i. p. 100 (ed. 1625).
+
+It is very commonly found in the early dramatists, and long before the
+statute of James the First, _By cock_ and similar phrases were used, in
+order to evade the charge of profaning the name of the Deity. It is of
+particularly frequent occurrence in Skelton's _Magnyfycence_:--
+
+"_Cr_[afty] _Con_[veyance]. Cockes armes, thou shalt kepe the brewhouse
+boule.
+
+_Fol_[ye]. But may I drynke thereof whylest that I stare?"
+
+_Magnyfycence_ (Skelton's Works, ed. Dyce, i. 268).
+
+But this writer seems to have employed it rather fantastically than from
+any desire to soften the oath; for elsewhere in the same piece we find
+_By God, Goddes fote_, &c. The practice of swearing had grown to such a
+pitch in the time of Taylor the Water-Poet, that that writer says
+(_Against Cursing and Swearing_, Works, 1630, i. 50):--"If the penalty
+of twelve pence for every oath had been duly paid (as the statute hath
+in that case provided) I doe verily beleeve that all the coyned money in
+England would have been forfeited that way." Whitford, in his _Werke for
+Housholders_, first printed about 1528 (edit. 1533, sign. c. ii et
+seqq.), relates several remarkable judgments as having fallen, within
+his personal knowledge, on profane swearers, who were as plentiful and
+as reckless in the time of Henry VIII. as they were a century later.
+
+
+
+
++ _Of the wydowes daughter that was sent to the abbot with a couple of
+capons._ xcvi.
+
+
++ There was an abbot that had a wydowe to his tenant, which wydow on a
+tyme sent her doughter with a couple of capons to the abbotte. And whan
+the mayden came with her present, she founde the abbot syttyng at dyner,
+to whom she sayd: moch good dutte[280] the, my lorde! Ha! welcome,
+mayden, quod he. My lorde (quod she), my mother hath sent the here a
+couple of capons. God a mercy,[281] mayden, quod he. And so he made her
+to be sette downe atte his owne table to eate some meate. Amonge other
+meates, the abbotte had than a grene goose with sorell sauce, wherof he
+dyd eate. So one, that sat at the abbottes tables, gaue the rompe of the
+goose to the mayde to picke theron. She toke the rompe in her hande, and
+bycause she sawe the abbot and other wete their meate in the sorell
+sauce, she sayde: my lorde, I pray the gyue me leue to wete myn rompe in
+thy grene sauce.
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[280] Do it.
+
+
+
+
++ _Of the two men, that dranke a pynte of whyte wyne to gether._ xcvii.
+
+
++ There came two homely men of the countreye in to a tauerne on a tyme
+to drinke a pynte of wine. So they satte stylle, and wyste not what wyne
+to calle for. At last, herynge euerye man call for white wyne as clere
+as water of the rocke, they bad the drawer brynge them a pynte of whyte
+wyne as clere as water of the rocke. The drawer, seyng and perceyuyng by
+their wordes that they were but blont felowes, he brought them a pinte
+of clere water. The one of them fylled the cuppe, and dranke to his
+felow, and sayd: holde, neighbour, by masse, chadde[282] as lefe drynke
+water, saue only for the name of wyne.[283]
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[281] God thank you.
+
+[282] _i.e._ I had.
+
+[283] The beverage of which these persons are here supposed to partake
+was probably what, in Charles the First's time, was called _white wine_;
+which, if diluted, as was no doubt very commonly done, would present a
+very watery aspect. A very curious account of the wines in vogue during
+the reigns of Elizabeth and James I. is given by Taylor the Water-Poet
+in his _Praise of Hempseed_. Cartwright, in his _Ordinary_, has the
+following passage, describing the various sorts of wine used in his
+day:--
+
+"_Hearsay._ Thou hast forgotten Wine, Lieutenant, wine.
+
+_Slicer._ Then to avoid the grosse absurdity Of a dry Battel, 'cause
+there must some bloud Be spilt (on th' enemies side, I mean) you may
+Have there a Rundlet of brisk Claret, and As much of Aligant, the same
+quantitie Of Tent would not be wanting, 'tis a wine Most like to bloud.
+Some shall bleed fainter colours, As Sack, and white wine. Some that
+have the itch (As there are Taylors still in every Army) Shall run with
+Renish, that hath Brimstone in't."
+
+_Aligant_ mentioned in this extract was the wine grown in Alicante, a
+province of the ancient Kingdom of Valencia. Sometimes it was spelled
+Aligaunt or Aligaunte:--
+
+"_Pseud._ In Ganges Iles I thirty rivers saw Fill'd with sweet nectar.
+
+_Lach._ O dainty lyer!
+
+_Pseud._ Thirty rivers more With Aligaunte."
+
+_Timon_, a Play, p. 39.
+
+In the _Privy Purse Expenses of Henry VIII._, under date of Feb. 16,
+1530, occurs the following item:--"Paied to the S'geant of the Sello'
+for iii tonne of white wyne of galiake (Gaillac in Languedoc)." See also
+_the Northumberland House-Hold Book_, ed. 1827, p. 414; and Taylor's
+_Penniless Pilgrimage_, 1618 (_Works_, 1630, i. 136).
+
+
+
+
++ _Of the doctour that went with the fouler to catche byrdes._ xcviii.
+
+
++ There was a doctour on a tyme, whiche desired a fouler, that went to
+catche byrdes with an owle, that he might go with hym. The byrder was
+content, and dressed hym with bowes, and set hym by his oule, and bad
+hym say nothynge. Whan he saw the byrdes alyght a pace, he sayde: there
+be many byrdes alyghted, drawe thy nettes; where with the byrdes flewe
+awaye. The byrder was very angry, and blamed him greatly for his
+speakyng. Than he promysed to hold his peace. Whan the byrder was in
+agayn, and many byrdes were alyghted, mayster doctour said in latyn:
+_aves permultae adsunt_; wherwith the byrdes flewe away. The byrder came
+out ryghte angrye and sore displeased, and sayde, that by his bablynge
+he had twyse loste his pray.[284] Why, thynkest thou, foole (quod the
+doctour), that the birdes do vnderstand latin? This doctour thought that
+the vnderstandynge, and nat the noyse, hadde feared awaye the byrdes.
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[284] "He that will take the bird, must not skare it."--Herbert's
+_Outlandish Proverbs_, 1640, No. 41.
+
+
+
+
++ _Of hym that vndertoke to teache an asse to rede._ xcix.
+
+
++ There was a certayne tyran,[285] the which, to pylle one of his
+subiectes of his goodes, commaunded hym to teache an asse to spelle and
+rede. He sayd it was impossible, except he might haue space inough
+therto. And whan the tyran bade hym aske what tyme he wolde, he desyred
+x yeres respite. But yet, bycause he vndertoke a thynge impossible,
+euerye bodye laughed hym to scorne. He tourned towarde his frendes and
+sayde: I am nothynge affrayde: for in that space, either I, the asse, or
+elles my lorde may dye.
+
+By whiche tale appereth, that it is holsome to take leyser inough aboute
+a thynge that is harde to do, specially whanne a man can nat chose to
+take hit on hande.[286]
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[285] This word, which frequently occurs in the course of the present
+work, must be understood to be merely equivalent to the Greek [Greek:
+tyrannos], a prince whose authority is unlimited by constitutional
+restraints. There seems to be some ground for the supposition that
+[Greek: tyrannos] is nothing more than the Doric form of [Greek:
+koipanos]. It may be mentioned that in middle-Greek the word _despota_
+([Greek: despotes]) bore no harsher meaning than that of a _petty
+prince_, acting independently, but acknowledging a suzerain. It is to be
+found in this sense, I think, in almost all the Byzantine historians.
+
+[286] _i.e._ when the undertaking is no matter of choice.
+
+
+
+
++ _Of the fryer that confessed the woman._[287] c.
+
+
++ As a fayre yong woman of the towne of Amilie confessed her to a
+friere, he beganne to burne so in concupiscence of the flesshe, that he
+entyced her to consente to his wylle. And they agreed, that she shulde
+feyne her selfe sycke, and sende for hym to shryue her. Within iij
+dayes after, she feyned her selfe sycke, and laye downe in her bedde,
+and sente for the same fryere to shryue her. Whan the friere was come,
+and euery body voided out of the chambre, he went to bedde to the woman,
+and there laye a longe space with her. Her husbande, suspectyng so longe
+a confession, came in to the chaumbre; whose sodayne comynge so sore
+abasshed the fryer, that he went his way and lefte his breche behynde
+him lyenge on the bedde. Whan her husbande sawe the breche, he sayd a
+loude, this was nat a frier, but an aduouterer; and for great
+abbomination of the dede he called all his householde to se hit. And
+forthe with he went and complayned to the warden of that couent, and
+thretned to slee hym that had done the dede. The wardyen, to appease his
+anger, sayde, that suche publysshynge was to the shame of hym and his
+householde. The man said, the breche was so openly founde, that he coude
+nat hyde it. The warden to remedy the matter sayde, it was saynt
+Fraunces' breche, an holy relyke that his brother caryed thither for the
+womans helth, and that he and his couent wolde come and fetche hit home
+with procession. With those wordes the man was contente. Anone the
+warden and his frieres, with the crosse before them, and arayed in holye
+vestementes, went to the house and toke vppe the breche; and two of
+them, on a clothe of sylke, bare it solemlye on hyghe betwene theyr
+handes, and euerye bodye that mette them kneled downe and kyssed it. So,
+with great ceremony and songe, they brought it home to their couente.
+But after, whanne this was knowen, ambassadoures of the same citie wente
+and complayned therof before the Holy See Apostolyke.
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[287] This is a very favourite tale with the early Italian novelists. In
+Dunlop's _History of Fiction_, ii. 364-5 (Second Edition), the incident
+is said to have been founded on a real adventure of a French priest. In
+the following extract from a highly curious pamphlet, it appears in a
+different form:--
+
+"There was a rich Burgess of Antwerp, a Mercer by his trade, who was a
+Bawd to his own Wife (though it was against his will or knowledge), but
+I blame him not, for I doubt hee hath many more fellowes as innocent and
+ignorant as himselfe, but this was the case, his wife wearing corke
+shooes, was somewhat light-heel'd, and like a foul player at Irish,
+sometimes she would beare a man too many, and now and then make a wrong
+Entrance. The summe was, that shee lov'd a Doctor of Physicke well, and
+to attaine his company shee knew no better or safer way, than to faine
+her selfe sicke, that hee under the colour of visitation might feele her
+pulses, and apply such cordiall Remedies as might either ease or cure
+her. In briefe, the Doctor being sent for, comes and finds the Mercer
+her husband walking in his shop with a neighbour of his, where after a
+leash of _Congees_, and a brace of _Baza los manus_, the Mercer told him
+that his Wife is a languishing sicke woman, and withall entreats him to
+take the paines to walke up the staires, and minister some comfort unto
+her: Master Doctor, who knew her disease by the Symptomes, ascends up
+into the Chamber to his longing patient, staying an houre with her,
+applying such directions and refections, that her health was upon the
+sudden almost halfe recovered; so taking his leave of her (with promise
+of often visitation) he comes downe into the shope, where the guiltlesse
+_Bawd_ her husband was, who demanding of the Doctor how all did above;
+truely quoth hee, much better than when I came, but since I went up,
+your wife hath had two such strange violent fits upon her, that it would
+have grieved your very heart to have seene but part of one of
+them."--Taylor's _Bawd_ (Works, 1630, ii. 94).
+
+
+
+
++ _Howe a chaplen of Louen deceyued an vsurer._ ci.
+
+
++ In the towne of Louen[288] was a chaplayne called Antonye, of whose
+merye sayenges and doynges is moche talkynge. As he mette on a daye one
+or two of his acqueyntaunce, he desyred them home with him to dyner: but
+meate had he none, nor money. There was no remedy but to make a shefte.
+Forth he goth, and in to an vserers kytchynne, with whome he was
+famylier; and priueilye vnder his gowne he caryed oute the potte with
+meate, that was sod[289] for the vsurers dyner. Whan he came home, he
+putte oute the meate, and made the pot to be scoured bryght, and sente a
+boye with the same pot to the vserer to borowe ii grotes theron, and
+bade the boye take a bylle of his hande, that suche a brasse potte be
+delyuered hym. The boy did as he was bydde; and with the money that he
+hadde of the vsurer, he bought wine for theyr dyner. Whan the vsurer
+shulde go to dyner, the potte and meate was gone, wherfore he alto
+chydde his mayde. She said there came no bodye of all the daye, but syr
+Antony.[290] They asked him, and he sayde he had none. At length, they
+sayde in erneste, he and no man els had the pot. By my fayth (quod he),
+I borowed suche a potte vpon a tyme, but I sente hit home agayne; and so
+called witnes to them, and sayde: lo, howe peryllous it is to deale with
+men nowe a dayes withoute wrytynge. They wolde lay thefte to my charge,
+an' if I had no wrytinge of the vsurers hande; and so he shewed oute the
+wrytinge. And whan they vnderstode the disceyte, there was good
+laughynge.
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[288] Louvaine.
+
+[289] Cooked.
+
+
+
+
++ _Of the same chaplen and one that spited him._ cii.
+
+
++ The same Antony dyned on a tyme with a sorte of merye felowes, amonge
+whome there was one that greatly spited[291] him in his scoffes and
+merye iestes. And as they sate laughynge and sporting, one asked whiche
+was the most reuerent part of mans bodye? One sayd the eie, an other the
+nose; but Antony, bycause he knew his enuyer wolde name the clene
+contrarye, sayde the mouth was the most reuerent parte. Naye, quod his
+enuyer, the parte that we sytte on is the moste reuerent; and bicause
+they meruayled whye, he made this reason, that he was moste honourable
+amonge the common people, that was fyrste sette; and the parte that he
+named was fyrste sette. Whiche sayenge contented them, and they laughed
+merelye. He was nat a littell proude of his sayenge, and that he hadde
+ouer come Antonye. This past forth. Four or fyue dayes after, they were
+bothe bydde to dyner in a nother place. Whan Antony cam in, he found his
+enuier, that sat talkynge with other, whyle the diner was makynge redy.
+Antony tourned his backe to him and lette a great ***** agaynst his
+face. His enuyer, greatlye disdayninge, sayde: walke knaue with a
+myschiefe, where hast thou ben nourtered? Why and dysdaynest thou, quod
+Antony? if I had saluted the with my mouthe, thou woldest haue saluted
+me agayne; and nowe I grete the with that parte of my body, that by
+thyn owne sayenge is moste honourable, thou callest me knaue.
+
+Thus he got agayne his praise, that he hadde loste before.
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[290] It is scarcely necessary to mention that formerly all priests were
+styled Sir. One of John Heywood's interludes is called: _A Play between
+Johan the Husband, Tyb the Wife, and Sir Johan the Prest_. In an old
+ballad in the Ashmole Collection, beginning, "Adew! my pretty pussy,"
+there is this passage:--
+
+"But the gyrld ys gon, syr, With a chokynge bon, syr, For she hath got
+Syr John, syr, And ys oure vyckars wyff."
+
+[291] Thwarted, crossed.
+
+
+
+
++ _Of the olde man that put him selfe in his sonnes handes._ ciii.
+
+
++ There was a certayne olde man, whiche let his sonne to mary, and to
+brynge his wyfe and his chyldren to dwelle with him, and to take all the
+house in to his owne hande and gydinge. So a certeyne tyme the olde man
+was sette and kepte the vpper ende of the table; afterwarde they sette
+him lower, aboute the myddes of the table; thyrdely they set him at the
+nether ende of the table; fourthly he was set amonge the seruantes;
+fyfthly they made him a couche behynde the halle dore, and cast on him
+an olde sacke clothe. Nat longe after, the olde man died. Whan he was
+deed, the yonge mans sonne came to him and sayde: father, I prey you
+gyue me this olde sacke cloth, that was wonte to couer my graundfather.
+What woldest thou do with it, sayde his father? forsoth, sayd the
+chylde, it shall serue to couer you whan ye be olde, lyke as it did my
+grandfather;--at whiche wordes of the chylde this man ought to haue ben
+ashamed and sory. For it is wryten: sonne, reuerence and helpe thy
+father in his olde age, and make him not thoughtfull and heuy in his
+lyfe, and though he dote, forgyue it him. He that honoreth his father,
+shall lyue the longer, and shall reioyce in his owne chyldren.[292]
+
+
+
+
++ _Of hym that had a flye peynted in his shilde._ ciiii.
+
+
++ A yonge man, that on a tyme went a warfare, caused a flye to be
+peynted in his shylde, euen of the very greatnes of a flye; wherfore
+some laughed at him and sayde: ye do well, because ye wyll not be
+knowen. Yes, quod he, I do it because I wyll be knowen and spoken of.
+For I wyll approch so nere our enemys, that they shall well decerne what
+armes I beare.
+
+Thus it, that was layde to him for a blame of cowardise, was by his
+sharpe wytte turned to a shewe of manlynes; and the noble and valiaunt
+Archidamus sayde: shotte of crossebowes, slynges, and suche lyke ingins
+of warre are no proffe of manhode; but whan they come and fyghte hande
+to hande, appereth who be men and who be not.
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[292] The original of this is the Fabliau of _La Hence Partie_, in
+Barbazan's Collection. The story has been used by Lando, in his _Varii
+Componimenti_, 1552, 8vo.
+
+
+
+
++ _Of th' emperour Augustus and the olde men._ cv.
+
+
++ As the noble emperour Augustus on a time cam in to a bayne,[293] he
+behelde an olde man, that hadde done good seruice in the warres,
+frotte[294] him selfe a gaynste a marble pyller for lacke of one to
+helpe to wasshe him. Th' emperour, moued with pite, gaue an annuite to
+fynde hym and a seruaunt to wayte vpon him. Whan this was knowen, a
+great sorte of olde men drewe them to gether, and stode where as the
+emperour shulde passe forth by, euerye one of them rubbynge his owne
+backe with a marble stone. The emperour demaunded why they dyd so?
+Bycause, noble emperour, sayd they, we be not able to kepe seruantes to
+do it. Why, quod the emperour, one of you maye clawe and frote an others
+backe well inough.
+
+
+
+
++ _Phocions oration to the Athen[ian]s._[295] cvi.
+
+
++ Phocion on a daye, treatynge a longe oration to the people of Athenes,
+plesed them very wel; and whan he sawe that they all to gether allowed
+his wordes, he tourned to his frendes and sayd: haue I vnwarely spoken
+any hurte? So moche he perswaded hym selfe, that nothyng coude plese
+them that was well and truely spoken.
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[293] Bath.
+
+[294] Rub, from the French, _frotter_.
+
+[295] Phocion, the celebrated Athenian patriot, b. 402 B.C. d. 317 B.C.
+Full particulars about him may be found in Mr. Grote's _History of
+Greece_, and in Dr. Smith's _Dictionary of Classical Biography_.
+
+
+
+
++ _Of Demosthenes and Phocion._ cvii.
+
+
++ Demosthenes sayde to Phocion: if the Atheniens falle ones in a madnes,
+they woll slee the. To whom he answered: ye, surely, if they waxe madde
+they woll slee me; but an' they waxe ones wyse, they wyll slee thee. For
+Demosthenes spake moche to the peoples pleasure, and spake thynges
+rather delytable than holsome.
+
+
+
+
++ _Of Phocion that refused Alexanders gyfte._ cviii.
+
+
++ What tyme Alexander, kynge of Macedone, sent an hundred besauntes of
+golde for a gyfte to Phocion, he asked them that brought the money, how
+it came that Alexander sent it to hym alone, seyng there were many other
+men in Athenes beside him. They answered: bycause he iugeth you alone to
+be an honest and a good man. Therfore, quod he, let hym suffre me to be
+taken to be suche one styll.[296]
+
+Who wolde not wonder at the cleane and vncorrupt courage of this
+Phocion? He was but a poore man, and yet the greatnes of the gyft coude
+nothinge moue hym. Besyde also he shewed, that they the whiche, while
+they mynistre the common welthe, absteyne not from takyng of gyftes,
+neyther be nor ought not to be taken for good men.
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[296] Orig. reads unnecessarily, _and to be such one styll_.
+
+
+
+
++ _Of Denyse the tyranne and his sonne._ cix.
+
+
++ What tyme Denyse the tyranne vnderstode that his sonne, that shulde
+reigne after hym, had commytted aduoutry with a worshypfull mans wyfe,
+angerly he sayde to hym: dyd I, thy father, euer suche a dede? The yonge
+man answered: no, ye had not a kynge to your father. Nor thou, sayde
+Denyse, art not lyke to haue a sonne a kynge, excepte thou leaue
+commyttynge of suche wyckedde dedes.
+
+
+
+
++ _Of Pomponius the Romayne, that was brought before Mithridates._ cx.
+
+
++ Pomponius, a noble man of Rome sore hurte and wounded, was taken and
+brought before Mithridates, whiche asked hym this questyon: if I cure
+and heale thy woundes, wylte thou than be my frende? He answered hym
+agayne thus: if thou wylte be a frende to the Romaynes, thou shalt than
+haue me thy frende.
+
+This was a noble stomacke, that preferred the welth of his countrey
+before his owne helth.
+
+
+
+
++ _Of Titus and the iester._ cxi.
+
+
++ Suetonius sheweth that Titus the father prouoked a scoffer, that stode
+iesting with euery body, that he shulde lyke wyse saye somewhat to hym.
+I woll, sayde the scoffer, after ye haue done youre easement. He iested
+at the emperours countinance; he loked alway as one that streyned hym
+selfe.
+
+On suche a visaged man writeth Martiall:
+
+  _Utere lactucis, ac mollibus utere maluis._
+  _Nam faciem durum Phebe cacantis habes._
+
+
+
+
++ _Of Scipio Nasica and Ennius the poete._[297] cxii.
+
+
++ Whan Scipio Nasica came on a tyme to speake with Ennius the Poete, he
+asked his mayde at the dore, if he were within; and she sayde, he was
+not at home. But Nasica perceyued, that her mayster badde her say so,
+and that he was within; but, for that tyme dissemblynge the matter, he
+wente his waye. Within a fewe dayes after, Ennius came to Nasica, and
+knockynge at the dore, asked if he were within. Nasica hym selfe spake
+oute a loude and sayd, he was not at home. Than sayde Ennius: what,
+manne, thynke you that I knowe not your voyce? Wherevnto Nasica
+aunsweredde and sayde: what a dishoneste man be you? Whan I sought you,
+I beleued your mayde, that sayde ye were not at home, and ye wyll not
+beleue me myn owne selfe.
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[297] The celebrated Latin poet. "Quintus Ennius," Gellius tells us (_N.
+A._ lib. xvii. cap. 17), "said he had three hearts, because he
+understood the Greek, Oscan, and Latin languages."
+
+
+
+
++ _Of Fabius Minutius and his sonne._ cxiii.
+
+
++ Fabius Minutius was of his sonne exhorted on a tyme to gette and
+conquere a place that was mete for them, and to theyr great auauntage,
+the whiche thynge he sayde, they myght do with the losse of a fewe men.
+Wyll ye be one of those fewe, sayde Fabius to his sonne?
+
+Therby shewynge, that it is a poynt of a good capiteyne to care for the
+lest of his souldiours, and to saue them as nere as he can.[298]
+
+Th' emperour Antoni[n]us Pius loued moche this sentence of Scipio,
+whiche wolde ofte saye: I hadde leauer saue one citezen, thanne slee a
+thousande ennemyes.
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[298] Orig. reads _coude_.
+
+
+
+
++ _Of Aurelian, that was displeased, bycause the cite Tyna was closed
+agaynst hym._ cxiiii.
+
+
++ What tyme the emperour Aurelian came to the cytie Tyana, he founde hit
+closed agaynste hym; wherfore all angerly he sayde: I woll not leaue a
+dogge a lyue in this towne;--whiche wordes reioyced moche his menne of
+warre, by cause of the great praye and botye that they thoughte to wynne
+there. One of the citezins, called Heradamon, for feare lest he shuld be
+slayne amonge the other, betrayed the cyte. Whan Aurelian had taken the
+cite, the fyrste thinge he dyd, he slewe Heradamon the traytour to his
+contrey; and to his souldiors that came to hym and desyred, that they
+myght accordynge to his promyse, ouerren and spoile the cyte, he
+answered: go to, I sayde I wolde nat leaue a dogge a lyue; spare nat,
+kyll al the dogges in the towne.
+
+  By this meane the gentyl prince rewarded
+  the traytoure accordinge to his
+  deseruinge, and dispointed
+  the couetise of his
+  souldyours.[299]
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[299] So far extends Berthelet's edition, of which the colophon is:
+Imprinted at London in Flete Strete in the house of Thomas Berthelet
+nere to the Cundite, at the sygne of Lucrece. + Cum priuilegio. The
+remaining 26 tales are from the Ed. of 1567.
+
+
+
+
++ _Of the Nunne forced that durst not crie._ cxv.
+
+
++ A certayne Nunne with swellyng of hir bealie was bewrayed to haue
+companied with a man. And beyng called before the couente, was right
+sharpely rebuked by the Abbesse, for puttinge of their house to so great
+a shame. She, to excuse hir-selfe, sayde, she was forced by a yonge man,
+that came into hir bedde chaumbre, agaynst whom (beynge stronger than
+she) it was in vain for hir to striue, and force coulde not be imputed
+to hir for a cryme. Then sayde the Abbesse: thou mought est haue bene
+helde excused, if thou haddest cryed. The Nunne sayed: so woulde I haue
+doone, had it not beene in our Dortour[300] where to crye is contrary to
+our Religion.
+
+
+
+
++ _Of him that sayde he was the Diuelles man._ cxvi.
+
+
++ In the ciuile seditious time of Edwarde the fourth and Henry the
+syxte,[301] one chaunced to mete with a company, that quickly asked him:
+whose man art thou? Kinge Edwardes, quoth he. Art thou so (quoth they)?
+and all [set] to beate him: For they were of Henrie's syde. Wherefore to
+the nexte company that mette him and demaunded whose man he was, he
+answered: kyng Henries. Art thou so (quoth they), and likewyse all [set]
+to bete him. For they were on Edwardes parte. The Felow, thus sore
+beaten, went foorth, and met with another route, who asked him: whose
+man art thou? He, beynge at his wittes ende what to saye, aunswered: the
+Dyuelles man. Than the dyuell goe[302] with thee (saide they). Amen
+(quoth he): For it is the best maister that I [have] serued this daie.
+
+By this tale ye maye perceiue, how greuouse and perillous all ciuyle
+sedicions be, so doubtfull may it stand, that a man can not tel on which
+side to holde. For he that now is stronger, another tyme is weaker, as
+Fortune list to turne hir wheele.
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[300] Dormitory.
+
+[301] During the Wars of the Roses. In _The First Part of Edward IV._,
+by Thomas Heywoud, 1600 (Shakesp. Soc. repr. p. 41), Hobs, the Tanner of
+Tamworth, says:--
+
+"By my troth, I know not, when I speak treason, when I do not. There's
+such halting betwixt two kings, that a man cannot go upright, but he
+shall offend t'one of them. I would God had them both, for me."
+
+
+
+
++ _Of the vplandishe[303] priest, that preached of Charitie._ cxvii.
+
+
++ A priest in the countrey, not the wysest nor the best learned,
+preached to his parisheners of charitie so vehemently, that he sayed
+plainely, that it was impossible for anye man to be saued or to come to
+heauen without charitie, except onely the kynges grace, God saue hym.
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[302] This word is in the original text printed twice by an oversight. I
+have struck out the duplicate.
+
+[303] _i.e._ a person dwelling in the uplands or mountainous districts
+where the learning of the cities had not very deeply penetrated. Hence
+the word became synonymous with ignorant and uninformed. Alexander
+Barclay's fifth eclogue is "Of the Citizen and Uplandish Man." The poem
+of _Jack Upland_ is printed in the old editions of Chaucer and in
+Wright's _Political Poems and Songs_, 1861, ii. 16. Mr. Wright assigns
+to it the date of 1401.
+
+"He hath perus'd all the impressions Of Sonnets, since the fall of
+Lucifer, And made some scurvy quaint collections Of fustian phrases, and
+_uplandish_ words."
+
+Heywood's _Fair Maid of the Exchange_, 1600.
+
+
+
+
++ _Another sayinge of the same preest._ cxviii.
+
+
++ Before the kynges Maiestyes commissioners sent[304] downe intoo the
+realme in visytacyon, it chaunced the forsayd preest among other to
+appere: to whom one of the vysytours (guessyng quickly what docter he
+was) sayde: Mayster parsone, howe spende you youre tyme? what rede you?
+Forsoothe, syr (sayd the preest), I occupy my selfe in readyng the New
+Testament. That is very well done (sayd the commissioner). But sir, I
+pray you, who made the newe Testament? That dyd (said the preest) kynge
+Henry the eyghte, God haue mercye vpon hys soule![305]
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[304] Perhaps _went_ is the true reading.
+
+[305] "What must he (the king) do then? He must be a student. He must
+write God's booke himselfe, not thinking because he is a king, but he
+hath licence to do what he will, as these worldly flatterers are wont to
+say."--_Latimer's Second Sermon before King Edward VI._ 1549.
+
+
+
+
++ _Of the fryer that praysed sainct Frauncis._ cxix.
+
+
++ A fryer, preachyng to the people, extolled saynct Frauncis aboue
+confessors, doctours, vyrgins, martyrs, prophetes, yea, and aboue one
+more than prophetes, John the Baptist, and finially aboue the
+Seraphicall order of angels ; and stil he sayd: yet let vs goe higher.
+So whan he could goe no further, exccpte he shoulde put Christe out of
+hys place, whiche the good man was halfe afrayed to do, hee sayd aloude:
+and yet we haue founde no fit place for hym. And staying a lyttell
+whyle, hee cryed out at laste, sayinge: Where shall we place this holy
+father? A frowarde felowe, standyng among the audeynce, saide: if thou
+canst find none other, than set hym here in my place: for I am weary.
+And so went his way.
+
+
+
+
++ _Of hym that warned his wife of wasshynge her face in foule puddell
+water._ cxx.
+
+
++ A man dwellyng in the countrey, takynge his iourney, bad hys wife in
+his absence playe the good husewyfe, that he at his home comyng[306]
+might finde all thynges well. Swete husbande (quoth she), commaunde
+what ye wyll, and you shall fynde me obedyense in al thynges. Dere heart
+(sayd he), I wil you no more but this one thynge, whiche is easye ynough
+to do. What is that (quoth she)? That you wasshe not your face wyth this
+water, shewing hir a puddell in a donghill, foule blacke, and stinkynge.
+As oft as she in his absence went by that puddell, hir mynde was
+meruallously moued, for what cause hir husebande so diligently warned
+hir of that thynge onely. Nor shee coulde not perswade hir selfe, but
+that there was some great thynge in it. To be brefe, it tempted hir so,
+that she wasshed, that is, she defiled hir face. She loked in the
+glasse, and was greatly displeased with hir self. Yea, and it was foure
+or fyue daies after, er shee coulde wasshe out the stynke and steinyng.
+Whan the good manne came home, hee found his wyfe very pensife and
+loking angerly. What is the matter (quoth he)? Shee at laste coulde not
+forbeare, but blamed him for warnyng hir to wasshe in that water, and
+shewed hym what had chaunced. Why wasshed you in it (quoth he)? I gaue
+you warnynge, that you shoulde not wasshe therein, to the intente this
+harme shoulde haue not happned.
+
+By thys tale ye may perceyue, that the more yee forbydde some women a
+thynge, the greater desyre they haue to do it.
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[306] _i.e._ coming home.
+
+
+
+
++ _Of the husbandman that caused the iudge to geue sentence agaynst him
+selfe._ cxxi.
+
+
++ An husbandman in Zeland came before the chiefe ruler of the countrey
+(whose bull had kyld the poore mans cow) and after he had leaue to
+speake, hee sayde: my bull leapyng ouer the dyche hath kyld your cow;
+what is the law? The ruler, mistrustyng no deceit, answered: thou muste
+paie for hir. Than with licence the poore man sayd: Sir, I failled in my
+tale: your bull hath kyld my cow. The ruler, beyng a little amoued,
+sayde: this is another matter. The poore man sayd: Verely it is all one
+thyng: and you haue truely iudged.
+
+By this tale ye perceyue, that a wyse iudge wyll first know the cause
+well, and yet will not be hasty to geue sentence. The prouerbe biddeth
+thus: Iudge righteously the cause of the pore and needy.
+
+
+
+
++ _Of the Italian friar that shoulde preach before the B. of Rome and
+his cardinals._ cxxii.
+
+
++ A famous frier in Italye, called Robert Liciens,[307] appoincted to
+preache before the bishop of Rome and his cardynals beinge in the
+pulpit, and beholdyng the bishop and his cardinals, enter into the
+churche with so great pompe, noise, and rufflyng, that no king vse[d]
+the lyke, and seyng the bishop borne by vi men, and beynge at great
+leysure set downe, and harkenyng what he would saye, he sayd nought
+elles but this: Phy on S. Peter! phy on S. Paule! and with rauyng he
+spit now on the ryght side, and nowe on the left syde: and so, without
+more ado, shouyng through the preace,[308] gat hym awaie, leauyng them
+all astonied: some thynkyng hym to bee fallen into a furie: other
+supposyng him to bee fallen into some heresy, Iewishe or Paganise
+belefe, that he so burst out intoo suche blasphemies. And whan it was
+consulted to laie hym in prison, a cardinall, who knewe his wytte, and
+loued hym, perswaded, that he shoulde fyrste be called before the bishop
+and certayne cardinals, to here what he would saye. And so beyng
+inquired, why hee burste out into so horrible blasphemies, he answered,
+that he had appointed a farre other argument: and in fewe woordes
+declared the whole summe of hys sermon. But whan I (sayde he) sawe you
+lyue so pompously, and in so great delites and pleasures: and on
+th'other side consydered, howe homely, howe peyneful, and how harde a
+lyfe the Apostles ledde, whose places you supplie, I gathered, that
+eyther they were mad, that by so sharpe a waye contended to come to
+heauen, or els that you holde[309] the streight way to hell. But of you
+that beare the keyes of heauen, I could not perswade my self to deeme
+euill. Than what els could I do, but detest theyr foolyshnes whiche,
+whan thei might after this facion haue liued gloriously in all welth and
+pleasure, wold rather all their life turment them selfes with
+watchynges, fastynges and other peynfull labours?
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[307] Better known as Roberto Caraccioli-Caraccioli. He was born in 1425
+at Licio, in the Neapolitan territory, and was thence often called
+Robertus Liciensis. Watt (_Bibliotheca Britannica_, voce _Licio_)
+mentions only his sermons: but he published several other tracts.
+
+[308] Usually spelt _prease_ or _prese_. The word signifies _crowd_. It
+occurs in this sense in Edwardes' _Damon and Pythias_, composed about
+1564.
+
+"Yet shall there no restraynt Cause me to cese, Among this prese, For to
+encrese Youre goodly name."
+
+Skelton's _Garlande of Laurell_.
+
+
+
+
++ _Of the doctour that sayd, in Erasmus workes were heresies._ cxxiii.
+
+
++ A notable doctour, preachyng in a solemne audience, sayd, that in
+Erasmus workes were certayne heresies. Who, beyng come out of the
+pulpit, was desired of a learned man to shewe foorthe some place
+hereticall. Hee aunswered, that he had neuer red Erasmus bookes: hee
+began once to reade the woorke intitled _Moria_,[310] but by reason it
+was so high a stile, he feared to fal into some heresy.
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[309] Orig. and Singer read _or els you to holde_.
+
+
+
+
++ _Of the frier that preached at Paules crosse agaynst Erasmus._ cxxiv.
+
+
++ A great clerke, noseld[311] vp in scoole doctours, not well
+vnderstanding the latin stile and phrase, that than began to florishe
+apase, and hauynge smale acquaintaunce with the noble authours of the
+latyne tongue, saide, that Erasmus, with his rhetorike and eloquence
+went about to corrupte the Byble. For this (quoth he) I dare be bolde to
+say: that the holy scripture ought not to be mingled with the eloquence
+of Tully, nor yet of Cicero.[312]
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[310] The celebrated _Moria Encomium_, of which an English version
+appeared in 1549.
+
+[311] _Nosled_ or _nousled_ is the same as _nursled_, brought up. See
+Todd's Johnson, 1827, in voce _nosled_; and Richardson's Dict. _ibid._
+The word is not in Webster or Nares.
+
+[312] The allusion in the text is probably to the paraphrastic version
+of the New Testament by Erasmus, which had then recently appeared in two
+volumes, folio (1516). The work did not appear in an English dress till
+1548.
+
+
+
+
++ _Of an other frier that taxed Erasmus for writyng Germana theologia._
+cxxv.
+
+
++ A fryer, that preached on a tyme too the people, inueighed greatly
+agaynste Erasmus, because he, in his booke called _Enchiridion_,[313]
+preysyng the Apostles doctryne, sayde, that theirs was _Germana
+theologia_, that is to saye in Englishe, the very ryght diuinitee. Lo
+(sayeth this dotishe fryer), here may ye see, what a man Erasmus is: he
+sayeth, there is no diuinite but in Germonie, where heretikes are
+specially fauored and maintayned.
+
+
+
+
++ _Of an other that inueighed agaynst the same Erasmus._ cxxvi.
+
+
++ Because Erasmus wrote, that it wer better for the monke of the
+charterhouse to eate fleshe than to suffer his brother _Venire in
+capitis discrimen_, that is to saye, than his brother should stand in
+ieoperdie of his life: this dotishe doctour interpretat his wordes thus:
+The charterhouse monke wer better eate fleshe, than his head shoulde a
+littell ake.[314]
+
+By these tales we may se, what peuysshe preachers haue been in this
+world: And be thei neuer so foolishe: yet the ignorant people, lacking
+lerninge to iudge suche matters, thinke them selues well taught, when
+they be cleane misledde.
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[313] _Enchiridion Militis Christiani._ An English translation of this
+work appeared in 1533, in which Enchiridion is rendered _The Handsome
+Weapon_.
+
+[314] These pleasantries at the expense of the preachers in the time of
+Henry VIII. bear perhaps a little hard upon the fraternity. The
+rendering of Latin authors was not much improved a century or two later.
+
+
+
+
++ _Of kyng Richarde the iii, and the Northern man._[315] cxxvii.
+
+
++ After kyng Richard the iii had vsurped the crowne of England, he, to
+staye and stablishe the people, that sore murmured against his dooynges,
+sent for fyue thousand men out of the North partes vp to London: and as
+he was mustryng of them in Thickettes feelde, one of the souldiers, cam,
+and clappynge the kyng on the shoulder, said: Diccon, Diccon, by the
+mis, ays blith that thaust kyng![316]
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[315] The Northern men seem to have been formerly favourite subjects for
+story tellers and ballad-writers. Martin Parker published a poem called
+"The King and a Poore Northern man," and there is a ballad entitled "The
+King and the Northern man." Neither has anything to do with the present
+tale. No. 95 of the _C. Mery Talys_, of which only a small fragment is
+at present known to exist, is entitled, "Of the Northern man that was
+all harte."
+
+[316] "Richard, Richard, by the mass I am glad that thou art king!"
+
+
+
+
++ _Of the Canon and his man._ cxxviii
+
+
++ A canon in Hereforde, that kepte a good house, toke into his seruice a
+gentilmans sonne, to trane and bryng hym vp, to wayte and serue at the
+table.[317] So on a day the sayde canon, hauynge many strangers at his
+bourd, made a signe to his man, that there wanted some thyng. He, nought
+perceuyng, cam to his maister and sayde: Sir, what lacke you? Seest not,
+man (quoth he), they haue no bread on the table? Sir, saide his man,
+there was enough euen now, if they woulde haue let it alone.
+
+
+
+
++ _Of the same Canon and his sayd man._ cxxix.
+
+
++ The same Canon, an other tyme, bad his sayd seruant after supper, go
+downe and draw a cuppe of wyne, to make his guestes drinke at theyr
+departing, whom he had before taught, how he shuld take of the couer. So
+the yong man, bringyng the candell in one hand, and the cup of wine
+couered in the other, offred it vnto them. His mayster, seyng that,
+made a token to hym. He, not knowyng wherfore, sayd: Sir, what woulde
+you haue? Take of the couer (quoth his mayster). Then holde you the
+candell (saide the seruaunt).
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[317] A very usual practice in those days. At p. 254 of the
+_Northumberland House-hold Book_ (ed. 1827) we find:--
+
+"Two Gentlemen waiters for the Bordes Ende and a servaunt betwixt theim
+iii--Hannsmen and Yonge Gentlemen at their Fryndes fynding v (as to say
+Hanshmen [Henchmen] iii and yong Gentlemen iii)."
+
+Orig. and Singer, for _trane_ read _trade_.
+
+
+
+
++ _Of the gentilman that checked hys seruant for talke of ryngyng._
+cxxx.
+
+
++ A gentilman, brought vp at London in an In of court, was maryed, and
+kepte an house in the countrey: and as he sate at supper with his
+neyghbours aboute hym, vpon an alhalow-daie at night, amonge other
+communication, he talked of the solemne ringyng of the belles (as was
+the vsage than). His man, that waited on the table, sayd to his maister:
+sir, he that were this nyghte in London, shoulde here wonderfull
+ryngyng, and so began a tale. Hys mayster, not content with his talke,
+said: Hold thy peace, foole, wilt thou tel me of ringing in London? I
+know it (I trow) a lyttell better than thou. For I haue beene there an C
+alhalow nyghtes.
+
+
+
+
++ _Of the blynde man and his boye._ cxxxi.
+
+
++ A certayne poore blynde man[318] in the countrey was ledde by a curst
+boy to an house where a weddyng was: so the honest folkes gaue him
+meate, and at last one gaue hym a legge of a good fatte goose: whiche
+the boy receyuyng kept a syde, and did eate it vp hym selfe. Anon the
+blynde man saide: Iacke, where is the leg of the goose? What goose (quod
+the boy)? I haue none. Thou liest (quoth the blinde man), I dyd smell
+it. And so they wente forth chidyng together, tyll the shrewde boye led
+the poore man against a post: where hittyng his brow a great blow, he
+cryed out: A hoorson boy, what hast thou done? Why (quod the boy) could
+you not smell the post, that was so nere, as wel as the goose that was
+so farre from your nose?
+
+
+
+
++ _Of him that sold two lodes of hey._ cxxxii.
+
+
++ In London dwelled a mery pleasant man (whiche for [t]his tyme we may
+call Makeshift[319]) who, beyng arrayed somewhat haruest lyke, with a
+pytcheforke on his necke, went forth in a mornyng and mette with twoo
+lode of hey comeyng to the citieward, for the whiche he bargayned with
+the owners to paye xxx shillynges. Whyther shall we bring them, quoth
+thei? To the Swan in Longe Lane[320] by Smithfeeld (quoth he), and soo
+left them, and sped him thether the next[321] waye. Whan he came to the
+good man of the Swanne, he asked, if he would bye two good lodes of hey?
+Yes marie, sayde he. Where be thei? Euen here they come (quoth
+Makshyft). What shall I paye? sayde the inholder. Foure nobles (quoth
+hee): but at length they agreed to xx shilling. Whan the hey was come,
+Makshyft bad them vnlode. While they were doyng so,[322] he came to the
+inholder,[323] and said: sir, I prai you let me haue my monei: for,
+while my men be vnloding, I wil goe into the citee to buy a littell
+stuffe to haue home with me. The good man was content, and gaue it hym.
+And so he went his way. Whan the men had vnloded the hey, they came and
+demanded their money. To whom the inholder saide: I haue paid your
+maister. What master (quoth they)? Mary, quod he, the same man that made
+you bring the hey hether. We know hym not, quod they. No more doe I
+(quod he); that same man bargayned with me for the hey, and hym haue I
+payed: I neyther bought nor sold with you. That is not enough for vs,
+quod they; and thus thei stroue together. But what ende thei made, I
+know not. For I thynke Makeshift came not againe to agree them.
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[318] Tricks upon blind persons naturally form a feature in the jest
+books. The eighty-third adventure of Tyl Owlglass is a practical joke on
+a blind man, and in _Scoggin's Jests_, 1626, there are one or two
+examples.
+
+[319] A cheat or rogue. See Rowland's _Knave of Clubbs_, 1600 (Percy
+Soc. ed. p. 18). The word _Shifter_ is employed by Rowlands in the
+_Knave of Harts_, 1613, and by others of our elder writers in the same
+sense. In the following passage, shift is used to signify a piece of
+knavery:--
+
+_"Ferd._ Brother, you lie; you got her with a _shift_.
+
+_Frank._ I was the first that lov'd her."
+
+Heywood's _Fair Maid of the Exchange_, 1607 (Shakesp. Soc. ed. p. 87).
+
+See also Taylor's _Works_, 1630, ii. 144. In his _Sculler_, 1612, the
+last mentioned writer introduces a sharper into one of his epigrams
+under the name _of Mounsieur Shift_, "cozen-german to Sir Cuthert
+_Theft_" (_Works_, iii. 25).
+
+[320] Antiently, no doubt, Long Lane ran between hedges into Smithfield;
+but it appears that even in the early part of Elizabeth's reign building
+had commenced in this locality. Stow (_Survey of London_, edit. 1720,
+lib. iii. p. 122) says:--"Long Lane, so called from its length, coming
+out of _Aldersgate Street_ against _Barbican_, and falleth into _West
+Smithfield_. A Place also of Note for the Sale of Apparel, Linnen, and
+Upholsters Goods, both Secondhand and New, but chiefly for old, for
+which it is of note." See also p. 284 of the same book, and Cunningham's
+_Hand Book of London_, edit. 1848, _in voce_, with the authorities and
+illustrations there given. Rowlands, in his _Letting of Humors Blood in
+the Head Vein_, 1611, Sign. C. 2 _verso_, celebrates this spot as one of
+the principal haunts of the pawnbrokers. In _Wits Recreations_, 1640
+(edit. 1817, p. 109), there is the following epigram:--
+
+"He which for 's wife a widow doth obtain, Doth like to those that buy
+clothes in _Long Lane_, One coat's not fit, another's too too old, Their
+faults I know not, but th' are manifold."
+
+Day, in the _Parliament of Bees_, 1641, 40, Sign. C, speaks very
+disrespectfully of the population of Long Lane in his time. See
+_Maroccus Extaticus_, 1595 (Percy Soc. ed. p. 16), Dekker's _Knights'
+Conjuring_, 1607, ed. Rimbault, p. 54. Webster's Works, by Hazlitt, i.
+94. and Taylor's Works, 1630, Sign. Ggg4. The _Swan_ Inn has
+disappeared, but whether it has merged in the _Barley Mow_, or the _Old
+Red Cow_, I do not know.
+
+[321] Nearest.
+
+[322] The original reading is, _so while they were doying_.
+
+[323] Innkeeper. This form of the word continued to be used by English
+writers even in the later half of the seventeenth century.
+
+
+
+
++ _How a mery man deuised to cal people to a playe._ cxxxiii.
+
++ A Mery man, called Qualitees,[324] on a tyme sette vp billes vpon
+postes aboute London, that who so euer woulde come to Northumberlande
+Place[325] should here suche an antycke plaie[326] that, both for the
+mattier and handelyng, the lyke was neuer heard before. For all they
+that shoulde playe therin were gentilmen.
+
+Those bylles moued the people (whan the daye came) to come thyther
+thycke and threfolde. Now he had hyred two men to stande at the gate
+with a boxe (as the facion is), who toke of euery persone that came in a
+peny, or an halfe peny at the least. So whan he thought the market was
+at the best, he came to the gate, and toke from the men[327] the boxe
+with money, and geuynge theym their duitie, bade them go into the hall,
+and see the rome kepte: for hee shoulde gooe and fetche in the plaiers.
+They went in, and he went out, and lockt the gate faste, and toke the
+key with hym: and gat hym on hys geldynge, whiche stode ready saddilled
+without Aldryshegate[328] at an In,[329] and towarde Barnet he roade
+apace. The people taryed from twoo a clocke tyll three, from three to
+foure, styll askyng and criyng: Whan shall the plaie begyn? How long
+shall we tarye? Whan the clocke stroke foure, all the people murmured
+and sayed: Wherefore tarye we any longer? Here shall be no playe. Where
+is the knaue, that hath beguyled vs hyther? It were almes to[330]
+thruste a dagger throughe hys chekes, sayeth one. It were well done to
+cutte of hys eares, sayeth an other. Haue hym to Newgat! sayeth one:
+nay, haue hym to Tyburne! sayed an other. Shall wee loose our money
+thus, saieth he? Shall wee bee thus beguiled, sayeth this man? shulde
+this be suffered, saieth that man? And so muttrynge and chydyng, they
+came to the gate to goe oute; but they coulde not. For it was faste
+lockt, and Qualitees had the key away with him. Now begynne they a
+freshe to fret and fume: nowe they swere and stare: now they stampe and
+threaten: for the locking in greeued them more than all the losse and
+mockery before: but all auayle not. For there muste they abide, till
+wayes may be founde to open the gate, that they maye goe out. The
+maidens that shoulde haue dressed theyr maisters suppers, they wepe and
+crye; boyes and prentises sorow and lament; they wote not what to say,
+whan thei come home.
+
+  For al this foule araye,
+  For al this great frai,
+  Qualites is mery ridyng on his waie.[331]
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[324] Perhaps this, like Makeshift, was merely intended as a phrase to
+disguise the real name of the person intended.
+
+[325] Northumberland _Alley_ was in Fenchurch Street, and was notorious
+for bowling-greens, gaming-houses, &c. Probably this is the locality
+intended. See Cunningham's _Handbook to London_. 596 edit. 1848.
+
+[326] _i.e._ a burlesque play.
+
+[327] Orig. and Singer read _man_.
+
+[328] Aldersgate. In the _Ordinary_, by W. Cartwright, Moth the
+Antiquary says:--
+
+"Yclose by _Aldersgate_ there dwelleth one Wights clypen _Robert Moth_;
+now _Aldersgate_ Is hotten so from one that _Aldrich_ hight; Or else of
+Elders, that is, ancient men; Or else of Aldern trees which growden
+there; Or else, as Heralds say, from _Aluredus_."
+
+[329] Inns were not so plentiful at this time as they afterward became.
+Perhaps the establishment here referred to was the celebrated _Bell_
+Inn, which was still standing in the time of James the First, and which
+is mentioned by Taylor the Water-Poet in his _Penniless Pilgrimage_,
+1618 (_Works_, 1630, i. 122):--
+
+"At last I took my latest leave, thus late At the Bell Inn, that's
+_extra_ Aldersgate."
+
+[330] _i.e._ it were a charity to thruste, &c. The original and Singer
+have, "it were almes _it_ thruste."
+
+[331] In the original this is printed as prose, perhaps to economize
+space. _Array_, or _araye_, as it is here spelled, signifies obviously
+disturbance or clamour. So in the _History of King Arthur_, 1634, Part
+iii. cap. 134:--"So in this rumour came in Sir Launcelot, and found them
+all at a great aray;" and the next chapter commences with, "Aha! what
+aray is this? said Sir Launcelot."
+
+
+
+
++ _How the image of the dyuell was lost and sought._ cxxxiiii.
+
+
++ In the Goldesmithes hall, amonge theyr other plate, they had a fair
+standyng cuppe, with an image of S. Dunstane on the couer, whiche image
+hadde an image of the dyuell at his foote.[332] So it chaunced at a
+banket that the sayed image of the dyuell was lost and gone. On the
+morow after, the bedyll of the company was sent about to serche amonge
+the goldesmythes, if any suche came to be sold. And lyke as of
+other[333] he enquired of one, if any man had brought to hym to be solde
+the foole that sate at sainct Dunstanes foote vpon the couer of the
+cuppe? What foole meane you? quoth he. Mary, the diuell, sayde the
+bedill. Why, quoth the other, call ye the diuell a foole; ye shal find
+him a shrewd foole, if ye haue ought to do with hym? And why seke you
+for him here amonge vs? Where shoulde I els seke for hym? (sayde the
+bedill). Mary in hell, quoth he, for there ye shall be sure to fynde the
+dyuell.
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[332] Probably the cup bequeathed by Sir Martin Bowes to the Goldsmiths'
+Company, and still preserved, is here meant. See Cunningham's _Handbook
+of London_, art. _Goldsmiths' Hall_, and for some account of the Bowes
+family, which intermarried with that of D'Ewes, see _Autobiography and
+Correspondence of Sir Simonds D'Ewes_, ii. 17, 18. It seems to have been
+a rather common practice formerly to engrave figures of Saints,
+representations of the Passion, &c. on the bottom of drinking cups.--See
+Rowlands' _Knave of Clubbs_, 1600. (Percy Soc. repr. p. 64.)
+
+[333] In the same manner that he inquired of others, &c.
+
+
+
+
++ _Of Tachas, kyng of Aegypt, and Agesilaus._ cxxxv.
+
+
++ What tyme Agesilaus, king of the Lacedemonians, was come to Tachas the
+kyng of Egipt, to aide him in his wars: Tachas beholdyng Agesilaus to
+bee a man of so litel stature and smal personage tauntyng hym with this
+scoffe, sayde: The mountayne hath trauayled, Iupiter forbode, but yet
+hee hathe broughte forth a mouse.[334] Agesilaus beynge offended wyth
+hys saying, answered: and yet the tyme wyl come, that I shall seeme to
+the a Lyon. And not longe after, it chaunced through a sedycion that
+arose amonge the Aegypcyans, whan Agesilaus was gone from him, the king
+was constreyned to flee to the Persians.
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[334] This is related differently in Plutarch. "Now _Agesilaus_ being
+arrived in AEGYPT, all the chiefe Captaines and Governors of King
+_Tachos_ came to the seashore, and honourably received him: and not they
+onely, but infinite numbers of AEgyptians of all sorts ... came thither
+from all parts to see what manner of man he was. But when they saw no
+stately traine about him, but an olde gray-beard layed on the grasse by
+the sea side, a litle man that looked simply of the matter, and but
+meanely apparelled in an ill-favored thread-bare gowne: they fell
+a-laughing at him, remembring the merry tale, that a mountaine,"
+&c.--North's _Plutarch_, edit 1603, fol. 629-30.
+
+
+
+
++ _Of Corar the Rhetorician, and Tisias hys scoler._ cxxxvi.
+
+
++ A certayne man called Corar, determyned hym selfe for mede[335] to
+teache the arte of Rhetorycke, with whom a yong man, named Tisias,
+couenanted on this wyse, that he wold pay him his wages, whan he had
+perfectly learned the scyence. So whan he had lerned the art, he made no
+haste to paye his teacher, wherfore hys mayster sued hym. Whan they came
+before the iudges, the yonge man demaunded of hys mayster, what was the
+effecte of the scyence? He aunswered: In reasonyng to perswade.[336]
+Than go to, if I perswade these honourable iudges that I owe you
+nothing, I wil pay you nothyng: for you are cast in your action. And yf
+I can not perswade them, than wil I pay you nothing, because I haue not
+yet perfectly learned the art. Corar wrestyng[337] the yonge mans owne
+argumente agaynst hym selfe, said: If thou perswade them, that thou
+oughteste[338] me nothynge, than (accordynge to the couenaunt) thou must
+nedes pay mee my wages: for thou haste the art perfectly. Now yf thou
+canst not perswade them: yet shalt thou pay mee my wages, because thou
+arte condemned by the Iudges' sentence to be my detour.
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[335] Remuneration.
+
+[336] To persuade by reasoning.
+
+[337] Turning by force of ingenuity.
+
+[338] Owed.
+
+
+
+
++ _Of Augustus and Athenodorus the Phylosopher._ cxxxvii.
+
+
++ What tyme Athenodorus the Phylosopher had (by reason of hys greate
+age) obteyned lycence of Auguste to depart home, he admonysshed him,
+that beyng angry, he should neyth saye nor dooe any thyng, before he had
+by hym selfe rehearsed ouer the xxiiii Greeke letters. Whych saying whan
+the prince heard, he sayed: he had yet nede of him to teache hym the
+arte to keepe sylence, by coloure whereof he retayned the olde man about
+hym a whole yere longer.
+
+By this tale we maie perceyue, that of al things a prince, a ruler, a
+iudge ought specyally to eschewe wrathe. For the morall booke sayeth:
+Anger troubleth the mynde, that it can not discerne the truth. And
+Seneca wryteth, that slowe tarryinge doeth profite in nothyng but in
+wrathe.
+
+
+
+
++ _Of the frenche kyng and the brome seller._[339] cxxxviii.
+
+
++ As a Frenche kyng on a tyme was in huntyng, he hapned to lose his
+companie, and comyng through a brome heath, he herde a poore man and his
+wife piteously complayne on fortune. The kyng, after he had wel heard
+the long lamentacion of theyr poore and miserable state, came vnto them,
+and after a few words he questioned with them howe they liued. They
+shewed him, how they came daily to that heath, and all the brome, that
+thei and their asse coud cary home, was lyttell enough to finde theim
+and their poor children meat. Well (quoth the kyng), loke that you bryng
+to morow early to the court gate as many bromes as you and your asse can
+carye, and see that you sell them well. For I warrant you thei shalbe
+bought apase. They thanked hym, and so he departed from them. Anon came
+the lordes, knightes, and gentilmen to the kinge, and home they rode.
+After supper the kyng called them all before hym, and gaue them in
+commaundement that neither lord, knyght, nor gentilman, should on the
+morow come into the courte wythout a new brome in his hande. For he had
+a thyng to doe, whiche they shoulde know afterwarde. So on the morowe,
+whan they come to the court gate, there found they the poore man, his
+wife and the asse, loded with bromes, whiche hee solde to the galauntes
+of the court, euen as he wolde him selfe. Wherby the sayd poore man was
+made riche for euer and they lyttell the woorse. Thus whan the kynge
+sawe the states and gentilmen of his court come in so wel furnished with
+grene bromes, and consydring the cause wherfore it was, he laughed
+merilye.
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[339] See Lane's _Arabian Tales and Anecdotes_, 1845, p. 73, for a story
+similar to this.
+
+
+
+
++ _An other tale of the same frenche kyng._[340] cxxxix.
+
+
++ There chaunced, in a certaine part of the realme, an offyce to fal
+into the kings handes by the deth of a man which was worth a cccc
+crounes by the yere. An honest witty gentilman, dwelling therby,
+trustyng to obteyne the sayde offyce, made as good speede to the courte
+as hee could, and as soone as he might come to the kynges presence, he
+kneled downe, and in most humble wise desired his grace to geue vnto hym
+that offyce, declaring what it was. The king perceiuing how good an
+office it was, and thinking therwith to rewarde some suche one of hys
+seruauntes, that had well deserued it, answered quickely, and sayd: My
+frend, be content; you get it not. The gentilman, heryng those wordes,
+sayd: I most hertely thancke your grace; both I and myne are mooste
+bounden to praye for your hyghnesse;--and so, makynge lowe obeysaunce,
+wente his waye. Whan he had gone a lyttell waye, the kyng commaunded to
+call hym againe. Whan he was come backe, the kyng asked him if he dyd
+well vnderstand, what answere he gaue hym. Yes, truely, sayd the
+gentilman. What sayd I, quoth the kynge? Marye, your grace bad me bee
+contente, for I shoulde not haue the offyce. Why dyd you than (quoth the
+kyng) geue me so great thankes? Because, sayde the gentylman, your grace
+gaue me so sone an answere without longer suite and losse of tyme,
+whiche would haue bene to me a very muche hyndraunce. For I haue at home
+a great householde, vnto the which it behoueth me to loke dylygently, or
+els it wyl be wrong wyth me. The kynge, markynge well the wysedom and
+dexterytee of the gentylman, and conceyuyng a fauoure towarde hym, sayd:
+Wel, nowe shal you thanke me twyse: for you shall haue the offyce that
+you sewe for: and than, castynge hys eyes vpon hys Chauncelloure,
+commaunded hym, that all suche wrytynges as concerned [t]hys sayd
+offyce, shoulde wyth al speede bee made oute, that he were at home
+agayne to ouerloke hys famyly.
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[340] This story is applied by Richard Johnson, editor of the _Pleasant
+Conceits of Old Hobson the Merry Londoner_, 1607, 4to, to his own
+purposes. Johnson was an unscrupulous appropriator.
+
+
+
+
++ _What an Italyan fryer dyd in his preachyng._ cxl.
+
+
++ Robert Lyciense, a fryer of Italye (of whome we spake before),
+preachyng on a tyme with great vehemencye of wordes and gesture,
+exhorted the prynces and people to make warre agaynste the Turkes and
+other the enemies of chrystendome: and whan he came to the very effect,
+and [was] moste hotte and earnest in his tale, he began to wepe, that
+there were none, that wold to so godly a purpose offer them selfe to be
+capitains. If this be the let[341] of the mattier, beholde me here,
+whiche will be nothynge abasshed to cast aside this grey friers coate,
+and to take vpon mee to be a souldiour, or your capitaine. And euen with
+that woorde he caste of his vpper coate; and vnderneth he was a playne
+souldiour, arraied in a skarlet cloke, and a long rapier hangeyng by his
+side. And in this warlyke apparell, in the personage of a Capitan, he
+stode and preached halfe an houre. Being sente for of the Cardinals
+with whom he was familiar, hee was asked what was the pretence of that
+new example. He answered, that he did it for his wenches pleasure, who
+familiarly confessed that nothynge in the sayd Robert displeased hir,
+saue his friers coate. Then saide he to hir:
+
+  In what apparell shal I best plese you? In a
+  man of warres, quoth shee? Than se
+  that you be at my sermon to
+  morow, quoth he.[342]
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[341] The obstacle to the matter.
+
+[342] This tale is followed by the colophon, which is: Imprinted at
+London in Fletestrete, by Henry Wykes. Cum priuilegio ad imprimendum
+solum.
+
+
+
+
+ADDITIONAL NOTES AND ILLUSTRATIONS.
+
+MERY TALES AND QUICK ANSWERES.
+
+
+P. 16. _Of him that preched on Saynt Christophers day._
+
+In _A Booke of Meery Riddles_, 1617 (repr. of ed. 1629, p. 73 of Mr.
+Halliwell's _Literature of the xvith and xviith centuries Illustrated,
+&c._ 1851), we have the following:--
+
+The xvii Riddle.
+
+  "Who bare the best burthen that ever was borne
+  At any time since, or at any time befor[n]e.
+
+_Solution._--It was the asse that bare both Our Lady and her Sonne out
+of Egypt."
+
+
+P. 21. _Of the yonge woman that sorowed so greatly her husbondes deth._
+
+"There was a poor young Woman who had brought herself even to Death's
+Door with grief for her sick Husband, but the good Man her Father did
+all he could to comfort her. _Come, Child_, said he, _we are all mortal.
+Pluck up a good heart, my Child: for let the worst come to the worst, I
+have a better Husband in store for thee. Alas, Sir_, says she, _what
+d'ye talk of another Husband for? Why, you had as good have stuck a
+Dagger to my Heart. No, no; if ever I think of another Husband, may--!_
+Without any more ado, the Man dies, and the Woman, immediately breaks
+into such Transports of tearing her Hair, and beating her Breast, that
+everybody thought she'd have run stark-mad upon it. But, upon second
+Thoughts, she wipes her Eyes, lifts them up, and cries, _Heaven's will
+be done!_ and turning to her Father, _Pray Sir_, says she, _about t'
+other Husband you were speaking of, is he here in the
+House_?"--_Complete London Jester_, 1771, p. 49.
+
+This story was appropriated by the editor of _Pasquil's Jests, mixed
+with Mother Bunch's Merriments_, of which there were several editions,
+the first appearing in 1604. In Pasquil's Jests, the tale is told of a
+"young woman of Barnet."
+
+_She rowned her father in the eare._
+
+Gower (_Confessio Amantis_, ed. Pauli, Vol. 1. p. 161) has a precisely
+similar expression:--
+
+  "But whan they rounenin her ere,
+  Than groweth all my moste fere."
+
+
+P. 21. _Of him that kissed the mayde with the longe nose._
+
+"'Good Sir William, let it rest' quoth shee, 'I know you will not
+beleeue it when I haue reuealed it, neither is it a thing that you can
+helpe: and yet such is my foolishnesse, had it not beene for that, I
+thinke, verily I had granted your suite ere now. But seeing you vrge me
+so much to know what it is, I will tell you: it is, sir, your
+ill-fauoured great nose, that hangs sagging so lothsomely to your lips,
+_that I cannot finde in my heart so much as to kisse you_.'"--_Pleasant
+History of Thomas of Reading_, by T. D. circa 1597, p. 73 (ed. Thoms).
+
+
+P. 26. _Of the Marchaunt that lost his bodgetie betwene Ware and
+Lon[don]._
+
+In _Pasquil's Jests_, 1604 occurs an account substantially similar to
+the present, of "how a merchant lost his purse between
+_Waltam_ and London."
+
+
+P. 28. _Of the fatte woman that solde frute._
+
+  "Being thus dispatcht he layes downe Jacke
+  A peny for the shot:
+  'Sir, what shall this doe?' said the boy.
+  'Why, rogue, discharge my pot!
+  So much I cald for, but the rest
+  By me shall nere be paid:
+  For victualls thou didst offer me;
+  _Doe and thou woot_, I said.'"
+
+_The Knave of Clubbs_, by S. Rowlands, 1600 (Percy Soc. ed. p. 20).
+
+
+P. 31.--Wilson introduces the "notable historie" of Papirius Pretextatus
+into his _Rule of Reason_, 1551, 80, and it had previously been related
+in Caxton's _Game and Playe of the Chesse_, 1474.
+
+
+P. 33. _Of the corrupte man of law._
+
+"An arch Barber at a certain Borough in the West, where there are but
+few Electors, had Art enough to suspend his Promise till the Voters, by
+means of _Bribery_, the _old Balsam_, were so divided, that the casting
+vote lay in himself. One of the Candidates, who was sensible of it,
+cameinto his little dirty Shop to be shaved, and when the operation was
+finish'd, threw into the Bason _Twenty Guineas_. The next Day came the
+other Candidate, who was shaved also, and left _Thirty_. Some Days after
+this, the first return'd to solicit the Barber's Vote, who told him very
+coldly, _That he could not promise. Not promise!_ says the Gentleman;
+why I thought I had been shaved here! 'Tis true, says the Barber, _you
+was, but another Gentleman has been trimm'd_ since that; however, if you
+please, I'll trim you again, and then tell you my mind."--_Complete
+London Jester_, ed. 1771, p. 99.
+
+
+P. 35. _Conon peaked into the court._--So in Skelton's _Colin Clout_
+(Works by Dyce, I. 312), we have:--
+
+  "He cryeth and he creketh,
+  He pryeth and he peketh,
+  He chides and he chatters," &c.
+
+In the _Posthums Poems of Richard Lovelace, Esq._ 1659, 80, p. 60, the
+word is employed in a different sense:--
+
+  "Have you not marked their C[oe]lestial play,
+  And no more peek'd the gayties of day?"
+
+_To peak_, however, in the sense in which it is used by Skelton, and in
+the _Merie Tales_, &c. is of rather frequent occurrence in _Scoggin's
+Jests_, 1626 (but first printed before 1565); and Gascoigne employs the
+word in the same manner in the _Steel Glas_, n. d. (1576) 40. The
+passage in Gascoigne, which I perused long ago, was brought back to my
+recollection by a note by the Rev. A. Dyce to Skelton's _Colin Clout_.
+
+
+P. 38.--See Diogenes Laertius, transl. by Yonge, p. 226. Diogenes the
+Cynic evidently had Thales in his mind when he said "that mathematicians
+kept their eyes fixed on the sun and moon, and overlooked what was under
+their feet."
+
+
+P. 40. _Of him that dreamed he fonde golde._
+
+In _Pasquil's Jests_, we are told "how drunken Mullins of Stratford
+dreamed he found golde." It is the same story.
+
+
+P. 52. _Gelidus facet anguis in herba._--Whoever edited this collection
+of stories seems to have had a great fancy for quotations. Throughout
+the _C. Mery Talys_, on the contrary, there is not a single instance of
+this passion for extracts. Sir Thomas Overbury, in his _Characters_ (if
+at least they were written by him), ed. 1632, sign. K4, describes "An
+Innes of Court man" as taking "_ends of Latine_, though it be false,
+with as great confidence as ever _Cicero_ could pronounce an oration." I
+suspect that the _Mery Tales and Quicke Answeres_ were collected by some
+person more or less versed in the classics and in foreign authors, which
+was probably not the case with the _C. Mery Talys_, which do not smell
+so much of the inkhorn, as Gascoigne would have said.
+
+
+P. 54. _Breble-brable._
+
+In _Twelfth Night_, act iv. sc. 2, Shakespeare makes the Clown use
+_bibble-babble_ in a similar sense; but afterwards in the same drama,
+act v. sc.1, _brabble_ is put for "a brawl."
+
+This word is no doubt the same as the "pribbles and prabbles" which Sir
+Hugh uses more than once in the _Merry Wives of Windsor_. See act v. sc.
+5.
+
+
+P. 60. _Of hym that payde his dette with crienge bea._--Compare the
+story of "the subtility of Kindlewall the lawyer repayed with the like
+craft," printed in _Pasquil's Jests_, ed. Gilbertson, n. d. 40.
+
+
+P. 65. _All to._--I fear that I too hastily adopted the self-suggested
+notion that the former words might be read more properly as one word,
+and in the sense which I indicated. Perhaps as _all to_ or _al to_ is
+not uncommonly used by early writers in this way, though the meaning in
+the present case is not particularly clear, it may be better to restore
+the original reading.
+
+
+P. 67. _Of the Inholders wyfe and her ii lovers._--See Rowlands' _Knave
+of Clubbs_, 1600, ed. Rimbault, p. 25.
+
+
+P. 67. _Daungerous of her tayle._ So in the _Schole-house of Women_,
+1542, the author says:--
+
+  "Plant them round with many a pin,
+  Ringed for routing of pure golde,
+  Faire without, and foule within,
+  And of their tailes have slipper holde."
+
+
+P. 70. _Of Mayster Vavasour and Turpin his man._
+
+"A Lawyer and his Clerk riding on the Road, the Clerk desired to know
+what was the chief Point of the Law. His Master said, if he would
+promise to pay for their Suppers that Night, he would tell him; which
+was agreed to. Why then, said the Master, good Witnesses are the chief
+Point in the Law. When they came to the Inn, the Master bespoke a couple
+of Fowls for Supper; and when they had Supped, told the Clerk to pay for
+them according to Agreement. O _Sir_, says he, where's your
+witness."--_Complete London Jester_, ed. 1771, p. 102.
+
+
+P. 72. One of _Pasquil's Jests_ is "how mad Coomes, when his wife was
+drowned, sought her against the stream." It is merely a new application
+of the present anecdote.
+
+
+P. 75. _Of the foole that thought hym selfe deed._--A story of a similar
+character occurs in _The Meeting of Gallants at an Ordinarie, or, the
+Walkes in Powles_, 1604, (repr. 1841, p. 19), where "mine Host" gives an
+account of "how a yong fellow was even bespoke and jested to death by
+harlots."
+
+
+P. 93. _He fell to a nyce laughyng._
+
+_Nice_, in the sense of _foolish_, is also used by Gower, who likewise
+employs the substantive _nicete_ in a similar way:--
+
+  "But than it were a _nicete_
+  To telle you, how that I fare!"
+
+  _Confessio Amantis_, lib. vi.
+
+Chaucer employs the word in a similar sense very frequently. In the
+_Cuckoo and the Nightingale_, is the following passage:--
+
+  "To telle his might my wit may not suffice,
+  For he can make of wise folks ful nice."
+
+P. 103. Crakers.--See the last edition of Nares, voce _Crake and
+Craker_. But an earlier example of the use of the word than any given in
+the Glossary occurs in Lupset's _Works_, 1546, 12mo
+(_A Compendious Treatise teachying the waie of dying well_, fol. 34
+_verso_; this treatise was first printed separately in 1541). In a
+reprint of the _C. Mery Talys_, which appeared in 1845, the Editor, not
+knowing what to make of _crake_ and _craker_, altered them, wherever
+they occurred, to _crack_ and _cracker_ respectively!
+
+
+P. 113. Ch' adde.--In _Wits Interpreter, The English Parnassus_, by J.
+Cotgrave. 1655, ed. 1662, p. 247, is "the Devonshire Ditty," from which
+the following is an extract:--
+
+  "Cockbodikins, chil work no more,
+  Dost think chi labour to be poor?
+  No, no, ich chave a do--" &c.
+
+But this phraseology is not peculiar to Devonshire.
+
+
+P. 113, note 2.--Some additional particulars of interest, relative to
+ancient wines, may be found in _Morte Arthure_, ed. 1847, pp. 18, 20;
+and in the _Squyer of Low Degre_ (Ritson's _Ancient Engl. Met.
+Renancees_, iii).
+
+
+P. 121. _Of the Courtear that ete the hot costerde._
+
+"An arch Boy being at Table where there was a piping hot Applepye,
+putting a Bit into his Mouth, burnt it so that the Tears ran down his
+Cheeks. A Gentleman that sate by, ask'd him, Why he wept? Only said he,
+because it is just come into my Remembrance that my poor Grandmother
+died this Day Twelvemonth. Phoo! says the other, is that all? So
+whipping a large Piece into his Mouth, he quickly sympathized with the
+Boy; who seeing his Eyes brim-full, with a malicious Sneer Ask'd him,
+Why he wept? A Pox on you, said he, because you were not hanged, you
+young Dog, the same Day your Grandmother died."--_Complete London
+Jester_, ed. 1771, p. 53.
+
+
+P. 140.--_Of the Canon and his man. Note._
+
+"When King James came into England, coming to Boughton, hee was feasted
+by Sir Edward Montague, and his six sonnes brought upp the six first
+dishes; three of them after were lords, and three more knights, Sir
+Walter Montague, Sir Sydney, and Sir Charles, whose daughter Lady Hatton
+is."--_Ward's Diary_, ed. Severn, p. 170-1.
+
+
+P. 143. _For at this foul araye._--So, in the _Child of Bristow_, an
+early metrical legend, we read:--
+
+  "When the burges the child gan se,
+  He seid then, benedicite,
+  Sone, what _araye_ is this?"
+
+Some later writers thought it necessary to use this word with a
+qualifying adjective, as _shrewd array_, &c. thus, in fact, reducing it
+to something like its ordinary and modern signification.
+
+
+P. 148, _note_. 1. See Pepys' _Diary_, 6th ed. I. 29. "They brought me a
+draft of their drink in a brown bowl, tipt with silver, which I drank
+off, and at the bottom was a picture of the Virgin with the child in her
+arms, done in silver."--27th Feb. 1659-60. See also Brydges' _British
+Bibliographer_, vol. ii. p. 109.
+
+
+THE END.
+
+Transcriber's note:
+
+Spelling, and hyphenation are as in the original.
+
+[=m] - represents an 'm' with an overstrike.
+
+^ - represents a superscript.
+
+Italic markup has been placed exactly as in the original.
+
+In this etext the 'pilcrow' character is represented with a 
+plus (+) sign.
+
+
+
+
+End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Shakespeare Jest-Books;, by Unknown
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