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FOR PUBLIC DOMAIN ETEXTS*Ver.10/04/01*END* + + + + + +This etext was produced by David Widger <widger@cecomet.net> + + + + + +MEMOIRS OF JACQUES CASANOVA de SEINGALT 1725-1798 +ADVENTURES IN THE SOUTH, Volume 4d--BACK AGAIN TO PARIS + + +THE RARE UNABRIDGED LONDON EDITION OF 1894 TRANSLATED BY ARTHUR +MACHEN TO WHICH HAS BEEN ADDED THE CHAPTERS DISCOVERED +BY ARTHUR SYMONS. + + + + +BACK AGAIN TO PARIS + + + + +CHAPTER XIII + +My Stay at Paris and My Departure for Strasburg, Where I Find the +Renaud--My Misfortunes at Munich and My Sad Visit to Augsburg + + +At ten o'clock in the morning, cheered by the pleasant feeling of +being once more in that Paris which is so imperfect, but which is +the only true town in the world, I called on my dear Madame +d'Urfe, who received me with open arms. She told me that the +young Count d'Aranda was quite well, and if I liked she would ask +him to dinner the next day. I told her I should be delighted to +see him, and then I informed her that the operation by which she +was to become a man could not be performed till Querilinto, one of +the three chiefs of the Fraternity of the Rosy Cross, was +liberated from the dungeons of the Inquisition, at Lisbon. + +"This is the reason," I added, "that I am going to Augsburg in the +course of next month, where I shall confer with the Earl of +Stormont as to the liberation of the adept, under the pretext of a +mission from the Portuguese Government. For these purposes I shall +require a good letter of credit, and some watches and snuff-boxes +to make presents with, as we shall have to win over certain of the +profane." + +"I will gladly see to all that, but you need not hurry yourself as +the Congress will not meet till September." + +"Believe me, it will never meet at all, but the ambassadors of the +belligerent powers will be there all the same. If, contrary to my +expectation, the Congress is held, I shall be obliged to go to +Lisbon. In any case, I promise to see you again in the ensuing +winter. The fortnight that I have to spend here will enable me to +defeat a plot of St. Germain's." + +"St. Germain--he would never dare to return to Paris." + +"I am certain that he is here in disguise. The state messenger +who ordered him to leave London has convinced him the English +minister was not duped by the demand for his person to be given +up, made by the Comte d'Afri in the name of the king to the +States-General." + +All this was mere guess-work, and it will be seen that I guessed +rightly. + +Madame d'Urfe then congratulated me on the charming girl whom I +had sent from Grenoble to Paris. Valenglard had told her the +whole story. + +"The king adores her," said she, "and before long she will make +him a father. I have been to see her at Passi with the Duchesse +de l'Oraguais." + +"She will give birth to a son who will make France happy, and in +thirty years time you will see wondrous things, of which, +unfortunately, I can tell you nothing until your transformation. +Did you mention my name to her?" + +"No, I did not; but I am sure you will be able to see her, if only +at Madame Varnier's." + +She was not mistaken; but shortly afterwards an event happened +which made the madness of this excellent woman much worse. + +Towards four o'clock, as we were talking over my travels and our +designs, she took a fancy to walk in the Bois du Boulogne. She +begged me to accompany her, and I acceded to her request. We +walked into the deepest recesses of the wood and sat down under a +tree. "It is eighteen years ago," said she, "since I fell asleep +on the same spot that we now occupy. During my sleep the divine +Horosmadis came down from the sun and stayed with me till I awoke. +As I opened my eyes I saw him leave me and ascend to heaven. He +left me with child, and I bore a girl which he took away from me +years ago, no doubt to punish me for, having so far forgotten +myself as to love a mortal after him. My lovely Iriasis was like +him." + +"You are quite sure that M. d'Urfe was not the child's father?" + +"M. d'Urfe did not know me after he saw me lying beside the divine +Anael." + +"That's the genius of Venus. Did he squint?" + +"To excess. You are aware, then, that he squints?" + +"Yes, and I know that at the amorous crisis he ceases to squint." + +"I did not notice that. He too, left me on account of my sinning +with an Arab." + +"The Arab was sent to you by an enemy of Anael's, the genius of +Mercury." + +"It must have been so; it was a great misfortune." + +"On the contrary, it rendered you more fit for transformation." + +We were walking towards the carriage when all at once we saw St. +Germain, but as soon as he noticed us he turned back and we lost +sight of him. + +"Did you see him?" said I. "He is working against us, but our +genie makes him tremble." + +"I am quite thunderstruck. I will go and impart this piece of +news to the Duc de Choiseul to-morrow morning. I am curious to +hear what he will say when I tell him." + +As we were going back to Paris I left Madame d'Urfe, and walked to +the Porte St. Denis to see my brother. He and his wife received +me with cries of joy. I thought the wife very pretty but very +wretched, for Providence had not allowed my brother to prove his +manhood, and she was unhappily in love with him. I say unhappily, +because her love kept her faithful to him, and if she had not been +in love she might easily have found a cure for her misfortune as +her husband allowed her perfect liberty. She grieved bitterly, +for she did not know that my brother was impotent, and fancied +that the reason of his abstention was that he did not return her +love; and the mistake was an excusable one, for he was like a +Hercules, and indeed he was one, except where it was most to be +desired. Her grief threw her into a consumption of which she died +five or six years later. She did not mean her death to be a +punishment to her husband, but we shall see that it was so. + +The next day I called on Madame Varnier to give her Madame Morin's +letter. I was cordially welcomed, and Madame Varnier was kind +enough to say that she had rather see me than anybody else in the +world; her niece had told her such strange things about me that +she had got quite curious. This, as is well known, is a +prevailing complaint with women. + +"You shall see my niece," she said, "and she will tell you all +about herself." + +She wrote her a note, and put Madame Morin's letter under the same +envelope. + +"If you want to know what my niece's answer is," said Madame +Varnier, "you must dine with me." + +I accepted the invitation, and she immediately told her servant +that she was not at home to anyone. + +The small messenger who had taken the note to Passi returned at +four o'clock with the following epistle: + +"The moment in which I see the Chevalier de Seingalt once more +will be one of the happiest of my life. Ask him to be at your +house at ten o'clock the day after tomorrow, and if he can't come +then please let me know." + +After reading the note and promising to keep the appointment, I +left Madame Varnier and called on Madame de Rumain, who told me I +must spend a whole day with her as she had several questions to +put to my oracle. + +Next day Madame d'Urfe told me the reply she had from the Duc de +Choiseul, when she told him that she had seen the Comte de St. +Germain in the Bois du Boulogne. + +"I should not be surprised," said the minister, "considering that +he spent the night in my closet." + +The duke was a man of wit and a man of the world. He only kept +secrets when they were really important ones; very different from +those make-believe diplomatists, who think they give themselves +importance by making a mystery of trifles of no consequence. It +is true that the Duc de Choiseul very seldom thought anything of +great importance; and, in point of fact, if there were less +intrigue and more truth about diplomacy (as there ought to be), +concealment would be rather ridiculous than necessary. + +The duke had pretended to disgrace St. Germain in France that he +might use him as a spy in London; but Lord Halifax was by no means +taken in by this stratagem. However, all governments have the +politeness to afford one another these services, so that none of +them can reproach the others. + +The small Conte d'Aranda after caressing me affectionately begged +me to come and breakfast with him at his boarding-house, telling +me that Mdlle. Viar would be glad to see me. + +The next day I took care not to fail in my appointment with the +fair lady. I was at Madame Varnier's a quarter of an hour before +the arrival of the dazzling brunette, and I waited for her with a +beating at the heart which shewed me that the small favours she +had given me had not quenched the flame of love. When she made +her appearance the stoutness of her figure carried respect with +it, so that I did not feel as if I could come forward and greet +her tenderly; but she was far from thinking that more respect was +due to her than when she was at Grenoble, poor but also pure. She +kissed me affectionately and told me as much. + +"They think I am happy," said she, "and envy my lot; but can one +be happy after the loss of one's self-respect? For the last six +months I have only smiled, not laughed; while at Grenoble I +laughed heartily from true gladness. I have diamonds, lace, a +beautiful house, a superb carriage, a lovely garden, waiting- +maids, and a maid of honour who perhaps despises me; and although +the highest Court ladies treat me like a princess, I do not pass a +single day without experiencing some mortification." + +"Mortification?" + +"Yes; people come and bring pleas before me, and I am obliged to +send them away as I dare not ask the king anything." + +"Why not?" + +"Because I cannot look on him as my lover only; he is always my +sovereign, too. Ah! happiness is to be sought for in simple +homes, not in pompous palaces." + +"Happiness is gained by complying with the duties of whatever +condition of life one is in, and you must constrain yourself to +rise to that exalted station in which destiny has placed you." + +"I cannot do it; I love the king and I am always afraid of vexing +him. I am always thinking that he does too much for me, and thus +I dare not ask for anything for others." + +"But I am sure the king would be only too glad to shew his love +for you by benefiting the persons in whom you take an interest." + +"I know he would, and that thought makes me happy, but I cannot +overcome my feeling of repugnance to asking favours. I have a +hundred louis a month for pin-money, and I distribute it in alms +and presents, but with due economy, so that I am not penniless at +the end of the month. I have a foolish notion that the chief +reason the king loves me is that I do not importune him." + +"And do you love him?" + +"How can I help it? He is good-hearted, kindly, handsome, and +polite to excess; in short, he possesses all the qualities to +captivate a woman's heart. + +"He is always asking me if I am pleased with my furniture, my +clothes, my servants, and my garden, and if I desire anything +altered. I thank him with a kiss, and tell him that I am pleased +with everything." + +"Does he ever speak of the scion you are going to present to him?" + +"He often says that I ought to be careful of myself in my +situation. I am hoping that he will recognize my son as a prince +of the blood; he ought in justice to do so, as the queen is dead." + +"To be sure he will." + +"I should be very happy if I had a son. I wish I felt sure that I +would have one. But I say nothing about this to anyone. If I +dared speak to the king about the horoscope, I am certain he would +want to know you; but I am afraid of evil tongues." + +"So am I. Continue in your discreet course and nothing will come +to disturb your happiness, which may become greater, and which I +am pleased to have procured for you." + +We did not part without tears. She was the first to go, after +kissing me and calling me her best friend. I stayed a short time +with Madame Varnier to compose my feelings, and I told her that I +should have married her instead of drawing her horoscope. + +"She would no doubt have been happier. You did not foresee, +perhaps, her timidity and her lack of ambition." + +"I can assure you that I did not reckon upon her courage or +ambition. I laid aside my own happiness to think only of hers. +But what is done cannot be recalled, and I shall be consoled if I +see her perfectly happy at last. I hope, indeed, she will be so, +above all if she is delivered of a son." + +I dined with Madame d'Urfe, and we decided to send back Aranda to +his boarding-school that we might be more free to pursue our +cabalistic operations; and afterwards I went to the opera, where +my brother had made an appointment with me. He took me to sup at +Madame Vanloo's, and she received me in the friendliest manner +possible. + +"You will have the pleasure of meeting Madame Blondel and her +husband," said she. + +The reader will recollect that Madame Blondel was Manon Baletti, +whom I was to have married. + +"Does she know I am coming?" I enquired. + +"No, I promise myself the pleasure of seeing her surprise." + +"I am much obliged to you for not wishing to enjoy my surprise as +well. We shall see each other again, but not to-day, so I must +bid you farewell; for as I am a man of honour I hope never to be +under the same roof as Madame Blondel again." + +With this I left the room, leaving everybody in astonishment, and +not knowing where to go I took a coach and went to sup with my +sister-in-law, who was extremely glad to see me. But all through +supper-time this charming woman did nothing but complain of her +husband, saying that he had no business to marry her, knowing that +he could not shew himself a man. + +"Why did you not make the trial before you married?" + +"Was it for me to propose such a thing? How should I suppose that +such a fine man was impotent? But I will tell you how it all +happened. As you know, I was a dancer at the Comedie Italienne, +and I was the mistress of M. de Sauci, the ecclesiastical +commissioner. He brought your brother to my house, I liked him, +and before long I saw that he loved me. My lover advised me that +it was an opportunity for getting married and making my fortune. +With this idea I conceived the plan of not granting him any +favours. He used to come and see me in the morning, and often +found me in bed; we talked together, and his passions seemed to be +aroused, but it all ended in kissing. On my part, I was waiting +for a formal declaration and a proposal of marriage. At that +period, M. de Sauci settled an annuity of a thousand crowns on me +on the condition that I left the stage. + +"In the spring M. de Sauci invited your brother to spend a month +in his country house. I was of the party, but for propriety's +sake it was agreed that I should pass as your brother's wife. +Casanova enjoyed the idea, looking upon it as a jest, and not +thinking of the consequences. I was therefore introduced as his +wife to my lover's family, as also to his relations, who were +judges, officers, and men about town, and to their wives, who were +all women of fashion. Your brother was in high glee that to play +our parts properly we were obliged to sleep together. For my +part, I was far from disliking the idea, or at all events I looked +upon it as a short cut to the marriage I desired. + +"But how can I tell you? Though tender and affectionate in +everything, your brother slept with me for a month without our +attaining what seemed the natural result under the circumstances." + +"You might have concluded, then, that he was impotent; for unless +he were made of stone, or had taken a vow of chastity, his conduct +was inexplicable." + +"The fact is, that I had no means of knowing whether he was +capable or incapable of giving me substantial proof of his love." + +"Why did you not ascertain his condition for yourself?" + +"A feeling of foolish pride prevented me from putting him to the +test. I did not suspect the truth, but imagined reasons +flattering to myself. I thought that he loved me so truly that he +would not do anything before I was his wife. That idea prevented +me humiliating myself by making him give me some positive proof of +his powers." + +"That supposition would have been tenable, though highly +improbable, if you had been an innocent young maid, but he knew +perfectly well that your novitiate was long over." + +"Very true; but what can you expect of a woman impelled by love +and vanity?" + +"Your reasoning is excellent, but it comes rather late." "Well, +at last we went back to Paris, your brother to his house, and I to +mine, while he continued his courtship, and I could not understand +what he meant by such strange behaviour. M. de Sauci, who knew +that nothing serious had taken place between us, tried in vain to +solve the enigma. 'No doubt he is afraid of getting you with +child,' he said, 'and of thus being obliged to marry you.' I began +to be of the same opinion, but I thought it a strange line for a +man in love to take. + +"M. de Nesle, an officer in the French Guards, who had a pretty +wife I had met in the country, went to your brother's to call on +me. Not finding me there he asked why we did not live together. +Your brother replied openly that our marriage had been a mere +jest. M. de Nesle then came to me to enquire if this were the +truth, and when he heard that it was he asked me how I would like +him to make Casanova marry me. I answered that I should be +delighted, and that was enough for him. He went again to your +brother, and told him that his wife would never have associated +with me on equal terms if I had not been introduced to her as a +married woman; that the deceit was an insult to all the company at +the country-house, which must be wiped out by his marrying me +within the week or by fighting a duel. M. de Nesle added that if +he fell he would be avenged by all the gentlemen who had been +offended in the same way. Casanova replied, laughing, that so far +from fighting to escape marrying me, he was ready to break a lance +to get me. 'I love her,' he said, 'and if she loves me I am quite +ready to give her my hand. Be kind enough,' he added, 'to prepare +the way for me, and I will marry her whenever you like.' + +"M. de Nesle embraced him, and promised to see to everything; he +brought me the joyful news, and in a week all was over. M. de +Nesle gave us a splendid supper on our wedding-day, and since then +I have had the title of his wife. It is an empty title, however, +for, despite the ceremony and the fatal yes, I am no wife, for +your brother is completely impotent. I am an unhappy wretch, and +it is all his fault, for he ought to have known his own condition. +He has deceived me horribly." + +"But he was obliged to act as he did; he is more to be pitied than +to be blamed. I also pity you, but I think you are in the wrong, +for after his sleeping with you for a month without giving any +proof of his manhood you might have guessed the truth. Even if +you had been a perfect novice, M. de Sauci ought to have known +what was the matter; he must be aware that it is beyond the power +of man to sleep beside a pretty woman, and to press her naked body +to his breast without becoming, in spite of himself, in a state +which would admit of no concealment; that is, in case he were not +impotent." + +"All that seems very reasonable, but nevertheless neither of us +thought of it; your brother looks such a Hercules." + +"There are two remedies open to you; you can either have your +marriage annulled, or you can take a lover; and I am sure that my +brother is too reasonable a man to offer any opposition to the +latter course." + +"I am perfectly free, but I can neither avail myself of a divorce +nor of a lover; for the wretch treats me so kindly that I love him +more and more, which doubtless makes my misfortune harder to bear." + +The poor woman was so unhappy that I should have been delighted to +console her, but it was out of the question. However, the mere +telling of her story had afforded her some solace, and after +kissing her in such a way as to convince her that I was not like +my brother, I wished her good night. + +The next day I called on Madame Vanloo, who informed me that +Madame Blondel had charged her to thank me for having gone away, +while her husband wished me to know that he was sorry not to have +seen me to express his gratitude. + +"He seems to have found his wife a maid, but that's no fault of +mine; and Manon Baletti is the only person he ought to be grateful +to. They tell me that he has a pretty baby, and that he lives at +the Louvre, while she has another house in the Rue Neuve-des- +Petits-Champs." + +"Yes, but he has supper with her every evening." + +"It's an odd way of living." + +"I assure you it answers capitally. Blondel regards his wife as +his mistress. He says that that keeps the flame of love alight, +and that as he never had a mistress worthy of being a wife, he is +delighted to have a wife worthy of being a mistress." + +The next day I devoted entirely to Madame de Rumain, and we were +occupied with knotty questions till the evening. I left her well +pleased. The marriage of her daughter, Mdlle. Cotenfau, with M. +de Polignac, which took place five or six years later, was the +result of our cabalistic calculations. + +The fair stocking-seller of the Rue des Prouveres, whom I had +loved so well, was no longer in Paris. She had gone off with a M. +de Langlade, and her husband was inconsolable. Camille was ill. +Coralline had become the titulary mistress of the Comte de la +Marche, son of the Prince of Conti, and the issue of this union +was a son, whom I knew twenty years later. He called himself the +Chevalier de Montreal, and wore the cross of the Knights of Malta. +Several other girls I had known were widowed and in the country, +or had become inaccessible in other ways. + +Such was the Paris of my day. The actors on its stage changed as +rapidly as the fashions. + +I devoted a whole day to my old friend Baletti, who had left the +theatre and married a pretty ballet-girl on the death of his +father; he was making experiments with a view to finding the +philosopher's stone. + +I was agreeably surprised at meeting the poet Poinsinet at the +Comedic Francaise. He embraced me again and again, and told me +that M. du Tillot had overwhelmed him with kindness at Parma. + +"He would not get me anything to do," said Poinsinet, "because a +French poet is rather at a discount in Italy." + +"Have you heard anything of Lord Lismore?" + +"Yes, he wrote to his mother from Leghorn, telling her that he was +going to the Indies, and that if you had not been good enough to +give him a thousand Louis he would have been a prisoner at Rome." + +"His fate interests me extremely, and I should be glad to call on +his lady-mother with you." + +"I will tell her that you are in Paris, and I am sure that she +will invite you to supper, for she has the greatest desire to talk +to you." + +"How are you getting on here? Are you still content to serve +Apollo?" + +"He is not the god of wealth by any means. I have no money and no +room, and I shall be glad of a supper, if you will ask me. I will +read you my play, the 'Cercle', which has been accepted. I am +sure it will be successful?" + +The 'Cercle' was a short prose play, in which the poet satirised +the jargon of Dr. Herrenschwand, brother of the doctor I had +consulted at Soleure. The play proved to be a great success. + +I took Poinsinet home to supper, and the poor nursling of the +muses ate for four. In the morning he came to tell me that the +Countess of Lismore expected me to supper. + +I found the lady, still pretty, in company with her aged lover, M. +de St. Albin, Archbishop of Cambrai, who spent all the revenues of +his see on her. This worthy prelate was one of the illegitimate +children of the Duc d'Orleans, the famous Regent, by an actress. +He supped with us, but he only opened his mouth to eat, and his +mistress only spoke of her son, whose talents she lauded to the +skies, though he was in reality a mere scamp; but I felt in duty +bound to echo what she said. It would have been cruel to +contradict her. I promised to let her know if I saw anything more +of him. + +Poinsinet, who was hearthless and homeless, as they say, spent the +night in my room, and in the morning I gave him two cups of +chocolate and some money wherewith to get a lodging. I never saw +him again, and a few years after he was drowned, not in the +fountain of Hippocrene, but in the Guadalquivir. He told me that +he had spent a week with M. de Voltaire, and that he had hastened +his return to Paris to obtain the release of the Abbe Morellet +from the Bastile. + +I had nothing more to do at Paris, and I was only waiting for some +clothes to be made and for a cross of the order, with which the +Holy Father had decorated me, to be set with diamonds and rubies. + +I had waited for five or six days when an unfortunate incident +obliged me to take a hasty departure. I am loth to write what +follows, for it was all my own fault that I was nearly losing my +life and my honour. I pity those simpletons who blame fortune and +not themselves for their misfortunes. + +I was walking in the Tuileries at ten o'clock in the morning, when +I was unlucky enough to meet the Dangenancour and another girl. +This Dangenancour was a dancer at the opera-house, whom I had +desired to meet previously to my last departure from Paris. I +congratulated myself on the lucky chance which threw her in my +way, and accosted her, and had not much trouble in inducing her to +dine with me at Choisi. + +We walked towards the Pont-Royal, where we took a coach. After +dinner had been ordered we were taking a turn in the garden, when +I saw a carriage stop and two adventurers whom I knew getting out +of it, with two girls, friends of the ones I had with me. The +wretched landlady, who was standing at the door, said that if we +liked to sit down together she could give us an excellent dinner, +and I said nothing, or rather I assented to the yes of my two +nymphs. The dinner was excellent, and after the bill was paid, +and we were on the point of returning to Paris, I noticed that a +ring, which I had taken off to shew to one of the adventurers +named Santis, was still missing. It was an exceedingly pretty +miniature, and the diamond setting had cost me twenty-five Louis. +I politely begged Santis to return me the ring, and he replied +with the utmost coolness that he had done so already. + +"If you had returned it," said I, "it would be on my finger, and +you see that it is not." + +He persisted in his assertion; the girls said nothing, but +Santis's friend, a Portuguese, named Xavier, dared to tell me that +he had seen the ring returned. + +"You're a liar," I exclaimed; and without more ado I took hold of +Santis by the collar, and swore I would rot let him go till he +returned me my ring. The Portuguese rose to come to his friend's +rescue, while I stepped back and drew my sword, repeating my +determination not to let them go. The landlady came on the scene +and began to shriek, and Santis asked me to give him a few words +apart. I thought in all good faith that he was ashamed to restore +the ring before company, but that he would give it me as soon as +we were alone. I sheathed my sword, and told him to come with me. +Xavier got into the carriage with the four girls, and they all +went back to Paris. + +Santis followed me to the back of the inn, and then assuming a +pleasant smile he told me that he had put the ring into his +friend's pocket for a joke, but that I should have it back at +Paris. + +"That's an idle tale," I exclaimed, "your friend said that he saw +you return it, and now he has escaped me. Do you think that I am +green enough to be taken in by this sort of thing? You're a +couple of robbers." + +So saying, I stretched out my hand for his watch-chain, but he +stepped back and drew his sword. I drew mine, and we had scarcely +crossed swords when he thrust, and I parrying rushed in and ran +him through and through. He fell to the ground calling, "Help!" I +sheathed my sword, and, without troubling myself about him, got +into my coach and drove back to Paris. + +I got down in the Place Maubert, and walked by a circuitous way to +my hotel. I was sure that no one could have come after me there, +as my landlord did not even know my name. + +I spent the rest of the day in packing up my trunks, and after +telling Costa to place them on my carriage I went to Madame +d'Urfe. After I had told her of what had happened, I begged her, +as soon as that which she had for me was ready, to send it to me +at Augsburg by Costa. I should have told her to entrust it to one +of her own servants, but my good genius had left me that day. +Besides I did not look upon Costa as a thief. + +When I got back to the hotel I gave the rascal his instructions, +telling him to be quick and to keep his own counsel, and then I +gave him money for the journey. + +I left Paris in my carriage, drawn by four hired horses, which +took me as far as the second post, and I did not stop till I got +to Strasburg, where I found Desarmoises and my Spaniard. + +There was nothing to keep me in Strasburg, so I wanted to cross +the Rhine immediately; but Desarmoises persuaded me to come with +him to see an extremely pretty woman who had only delayed her +departure for Augsburg in the hope that we might journey there +together. + +"You know the lady," said the false marquis, "but she made me give +my word of honour that I would not tell you. She has only her +maid with her, and I am sure you will be pleased to see her." + +My curiosity made me give in. I followed Desarmoises, and came +into a room where I saw a nice-looking woman whom I did not +recognize at first. I collected my thoughts, and the lady turned +out to be a dancer whom I had admired on the Dresden boards eight +years before. She was then mistress to Count Bruhl, but I had not +even attempted to win her favour. She had an excellent carriage, +and as she was ready to go to Augsburg I immediately concluded +that we could make the journey together very pleasantly. + +After the usual compliments had passed, we decided on leaving for +Augsburg the following morning. The lady was going to Munich, but +as I had no business there we agreed that she should go by +herself. + +"I am quite sure," she said, afterwards, "that you will come too, +for the ambassadors do not assemble at Augsburg till next +September." + +We supped together, and next morning we started on our way; she in +her carriage with her maid, and I in mine with Desarmoises, +preceded by Le Duc on horseback. At Rastadt, however, we made a +change, the Renaud (as she was called) thinking that she would +give less opportunity for curious surmises by riding with me while +Desarmoises went with the servant. We soon became intimate. She +told me about herself, or pretended to, and I told her all that I +did not want to conceal. I informed her that I was an agent of +the Court of Lisbon, and she believed me, while, for my part, I +believed that she was only going to Munich and Augsburg to sell +her diamonds. + +We began to talk about Desarmoises, and she said that it was well +enough for me to associate with him, but I should not countenance +his styling himself marquis. + +"But," said I, "he is the son of the Marquis Desarmoises, of +Nancy." + +"No, he isn't; he is only a retired messenger, with a small +pension from the department of foreign affairs. I know the +Marquis Desarmoises; he lives at Nancy, and is not so old as our +friend." + +"Then one can't see how he can be Desarmoises's father." + +"The landlord of the inn at Strasburg knew him when he was a +messenger." + +"How did you make his acquaintance?" + +"We met at the table d'hote. After dinner he came up to my room, +and told me he was waiting for a gentleman who was going to +Augsburg, and that we might make the journey together. He told me +the name, and after questioning him I concluded that the gentleman +was yourself, so here we are, and I am very glad of it. But +listen to me; I advise you to drop all false styles and titles. +Why do you call yourself Seingalt?" + +"Because it's my name, but that doesn't prevent my old friends +calling me Casanova, for I am both. You understand?" + +"Oh, yes! I understand. Your mother is at Prague, and as she +doesn't get her pension on account of the war, I am afraid she +must be rather in difficulties." + +"I know it, but I do not forget my filial duties. I have sent her +some money." + +"That's right. Where are you going to stay at Augsburg ?" + +"I shall take a house, and if you like you shall be the mistress +and do the honours." + +"That would be delightful! We will give little suppers, and play +cards all night." + +"Your programme is an excellent one." + +"I will see that you get a good cook; all the Bavarian cooks are +good. We shall cut a fine figure, and people will say we love +each other madly." + +"You must know, dearest, that I do not understand jokes at the +expense of fidelity." + +"You may trust me for that. You know how I lived at Dresden." + +"I will trust you, but not blindly, I promise you. And now let us +address each other in the same way; you must call me tu. You must +remember we are lovers." + +"Kiss me!" + +The fair Renaud did not like traveling by night; she preferred to +eat a good supper, to drink heavily, and to go to bed just as her +head began to whirl. The heat of the wine made her into a +Bacchante, hard to appease; but when I could do no more I told her +to leave me alone, and she had to obey. + +When we reached Augsburg we alighted at the "Three Moors," but the +landlord told us that though he could give us a good dinner he +could not put us up, as the whole of the hotel had been engaged by +the French ambassador. I called on M. Corti, the banker to whom I +was accredited, and he soon got me a furnished house with a +garden, which I took for six months. The Renaud liked it +immensely. + +No one had yet arrived at Augsburg. The Renaud contrived to make +me feel that I should be lonely at Augsburg without her, and +succeeded in persuading me to come with her to Munich. We put up +at the "Stag," and made ourselves very comfortable, while +Desarmoises went to stay somewhere else. As my business and that +of my new mate had nothing in common, I gave her a servant and a +carriage to herself, and made myself the same allowance. + +The Abbe Gama had given me a letter from the Commendatore Almada +for Lord Stormont, the English ambassador at the Court of Bavaria. +This nobleman being then at Munich I hastened to deliver the +letter. He received me very well, and promised to do all he could +as soon as he had time, as Lord Halifax had told him all about it. +On leaving his Britannic Lordship's I called on M. de Folard, the +French ambassador, and gave him a letter from M. de Choiseul. M. +de Folard gave me a hearty welcome, and asked me to dine with him +the next day, and the day after introduced me to the Elector. + +During the four fatal weeks I spent at Munich, the ambassador's +house was the only one I frequented. I call these weeks fatal, +and with reason, for in then I lost all my money, I pledged jewels +(which I never recovered) to the amount of forty thousand francs, +and finally I lost my health. My assassins were the Renaud and +Desarmoises, who owed me so much and paid me so badly. + +The third day after my arrival I had to call on the Dowager +Electress of Saxony. It was my brother-in-law, who was in her +train, that made me go, by telling me that it must be done, as she +knew me and had been enquiring for me. I had no reason to repent +of my politeness in going, as the Electress gave me a good +reception, and made me talk to any extent. She was extremely +curious, like most people who have no employment, and have not +sufficient intelligence to amuse themselves. + +I have done a good many foolish things in the course of my +existence. I confess it as frankly as Rousseau, and my Memoirs +are not so egotistic as those of that unfortunate genius; but I +never committed such an act of folly as I did when I went to +Munich, where I had nothing to do. But it was a crisis in my +life. My evil genius had made me commit one folly after another +since I left Turin. The evening at Lord Lismore's, my connection +with Desarmoises, my party at Choisi, my trust in Costa, my union +with the Renaud, and worse than all, my folly in letting myself +play at faro at a place where the knavery of the gamesters is +renowned all over Europe, followed one another in fatal +succession. Among the players was the famous, or rather infamous, +Affisio, the friend of the Duc de Deux-Ponts, whom the duke called +his aide-decamp, and who was known for the keenest rogue in the +world. + +I played every day, and as I often lost money on my word of +honour, the necessity of paying the next day often caused me the +utmost anxiety. When I had exhausted my credit with the bankers, +I had recourse to the Jews who require pledges, and in this +Desarmoises and the Renaud were my agents, the latter of whom +ended by making herself mistress of all my property. This was not +the worst thing she did to me; for she, gave me a disease, which +devoured her interior parts and left no marks outwardly, and was +thus all the more dangerous, as the freshness of her complexion +seemed to indicate the most perfect health. In short, this +serpent, who must have come from hell to destroy me, had acquired +such a mastery over me that she persuaded me that she would be +dishonoured if I called in a doctor during our stay at Munich, as +everybody knew that we were living together as man and wife. + +I cannot imagine what had become of my wits to let myself be so +beguiled, while every day I renewed the poison that she had poured +into my veins. + +My stay at Munich was a kind of curse; throughout that dreadful +month I seemed to have a foretaste of the pains of the damned. +The Renaud loved gaming, and Desarmoises was her partner. I took +care not to play with them, for the false marquis was an +unmitigated cheat and often tricked with less skill than +impudence. He asked disreputable people to my house and treated +them at my expense; every evening scenes of a disgraceful +character took place. + +The Dowager Electress mortified me extremely by the way she +addressed me on my last two visits to her. + +"Everybody knows what kind of a life you lead here, and the way +the Renaud behaves, possibly without your knowing it. I advise +you to have done with her, as your character is suffering." + +She did not know what a thraldom I was under. I had left Paris +for a month, and I had neither heard of Madame d'Urfe nor of +Costa. I could not guess the reason, but I began to suspect my +Italian's fidelity. I also feared lest my good Madame d'Urfe +might be dead or have come to her senses, which would have come to +the same thing so far as I was concerned; and I could not possibly +return to Paris to obtain the information which was so necessary +both for calming my mind and refilling my purse. + +I was in a terrible state, and my sharpest pang was that I began +to experience a certain abatement of my vigors, the natural result +of advancing years. I had no longer that daring born of youth and +the knowledge of one's strength, and I was not yet old enough to +have learnt how to husband my forces. Nevertheless, I made an +effort and took a sudden leave of my mistress, telling her I would +await her at Augsburg. She did not try to detain me, but promised +to rejoin me as soon as possible; she was engaged in selling her +jewellery. I set out preceded by Le Duc, feeling very glad that +Desarmoises had chosen to stay with the wretched woman to whom he +had introduced me. When I reached my pretty house at Augsburg I +took to my bed, determined not to rise till I was cured or dead. +M. Carli, my banker, recommended to me a doctor named Cephalides, +a pupil of the famous Fayet, who had cured me of a similar +complaint several years before. This Cephalides was considered +the best doctor in Augsburg. He examined me and declared he could +cure me by sudorifics without having recourse to the knife. He +began his treatment by putting me on a severe regimen, ordering +baths, and applying mercury locally. I endured this treatment for +six weeks, at the end of which time I found myself worse than at +the beginning. I had become terribly thin, and I had two enormous +inguinal tumours. I had to make up my mind to have them lanced, +but though the operation nearly killed me it did not to make me +any better. He was so clumsy as to cut the artery, causing great +loss of blood which was arrested with difficulty, and would have +proved fatal if it had not been for the care of M. Algardi, a +Bolognese doctor in the service of the Prince-Bishop of Augsburg. + +I had enough of Cephalides, and Dr. Algardi prepared in my +presence eighty-six pills containing eighteen grains of manna. I +took one of these pills every morning, drinking a large glass of +curds after it, and in the evening I had another pill with barley +water, and this was the only sustenance I had. This heroic +treatment gave me back my health in two months and a half, in +which I suffered a great deal of pain; but I did not begin to put +on flesh and get back my strength till the end of the year. + +It was during this time that I heard about Costa's flight with my +diamonds, watches, snuff-box, linen, rich suits, and a hundred +louis which Madame d'Urfe had given him for the journey. The +worthy lady sent me a bill of exchange for fifty thousand francs, +which she had happily not entrusted to the robber, and the money +rescued me very opportunely from the state to which my imprudence +had reduced me. + +At this period I made another discovery of an extremely vexatious +character; namely, that Le Duc had robbed me. I would have +forgiven him if he had not forced me to a public exposure, which I +could only have avoided with the loss of my honour. However, I +kept him in my service till my return to Paris at the commencement +of the following year. + +Towards the end of September, when everybody knew that the +Congress would not take place, the Renaud passed through Augsburg +with Desarrnoises on her way to Paris; but she dared not come and +see me for fear I should make her return my goods, of which she +had taken possession without telling me. Four or five years later +she married a man named Bohmer, the same that gave the Cardinal de +Rohan the famous necklace, which he supposed was destined for the +unfortunate Marie Antoinette. The Renaud was at Paris when I +returned, but I made no endeavour to see her, as I wished, if +possible, to forget the past. I had every reason to do so, for +amongst all the misfortunes I had gone through during that +wretched year the person I found most at fault was myself. +Nevertheless, I would have given myself the pleasure of cutting +off Desarmoises's ears; but the old rascal, who, no doubt, foresaw +what kind of treatment I was likely to mete to him, made his +escape. Shortly after, he died miserably of consumption in +Normandy. + +My health had scarcely returned, when I forgot all my woes and +began once more to amuse myself. My excellent cook, Anna Midel, +who had been idle so long, had to work hard to satisfy my ravenous +appetite. My landlord and pretty Gertrude, his daughter, looked +at me with astonishment as I ate, fearing some disastrous results. +Dr. Algardi, who had saved my life, prophesied a dyspepsia which +would bring me to the tomb, but my need of food was stronger than +his arguments, to which I paid no kind of attention; and I was +right, for I required an immense quantity of nourishment to +recover my former state, and I soon felt in a condition to renew +my sacrifices to the deity for whom I had suffered so much. + +I fell in love with the cook and Gertrude, who were both young and +pretty. I imparted my love to both of them at once, for I had +foreseen that if I attacked them separately I should conquer +neither. Besides, I felt that I had not much time to lose, as I +had promised to sup with Madame, d'Urfe on the first night of the +year 1761 in a suite of rooms she had furnished for me in the Rue +de Bac. She had adorned the rooms with superb tapestry made for +Rene of Savoy, on which were depicted all the operations of the +Great Work. She wrote to me that she had heard that Santis had +recovered from the wound I had given him, and had been committed +to the Bicetre for fraud. + +Gertrude and Anna Midel occupied my leisure moments agreeably +enough during the rest of my stay at Augsburg, but they did not +make me neglect society. I spent my evenings in a very agreeable +manner with Count Max de Lamberg, who occupied the position of +field-marshal to the prince-bishop. His wife had all the +attractions which collect good company together. At this house I +made the acquaintance of the Baron von Selentin, a captain in the +Prussian service, who was recruiting for the King of Prussia at +Augsburg. I was particularly drawn to the Count Lamberg by his +taste for literature. He was an extremely learned man, and has +published some excellent works. I kept up a correspondence with +him till his death, by his own fault, in 1792, four years from the +time of my writing. I say by his fault, but I should have said by +the fault of his doctors, who treated him mercurially for a +disease which was not venereal; and this treatment not only killed +him but took away his good name. + +His widow is still alive, and lives in Bavaria, loved by her +friends and her daughters, who all made excellent marriages. + +At this time a miserable company of Italian actors made their +appearance in Augsburg, and I got them permission to play in a +small and wretched theatre. As this was the occasion of an +incident which diverted me, the hero, I shall impart it to my +readers in the hope of its amusing them also. + + + + +CHAPTER XIV + +The Actors--Bassi--The Girl From Strasburg The Female Count-- +My Return to Paris I Go to Metz--Pretty Raton--The Pretended +Countess Lascaris + + +A woman, ugly enough, but lively like all Italians, called on me, +and asked me to intercede with the police to obtain permission for +her company to act in Augsburg. In spite of her ugliness she was +a poor fellow-countrywoman, and without asking her name, or +ascertaining whether the company was good or bad, I promised to do +my best, and had no difficulty in obtaining the favour. + +I went to the first performance, and saw to my surprise that the +chief actor was a Venetian, and a fellow-student of mine, twenty +years before, at St. Cyprian's College. His name was Bassi, and +like myself he had given up the priesthood. Fortune had made an +actor of him, and he looked wretched enough, while I, the adventurer, +had a prosperous air. + +I felt curious to hear his adventures, and I was also actuated by +that feeling of kindliness which draws one towards the companions +of one's youthful and especially one's school days, so I went to +the back as soon as the curtain fell. He recognized me directly, +gave a joyful cry, and after he had embraced me he introduced me +to his wife, the woman who had called on me, and to his daughter, +a girl of thirteen or fourteen, whose dancing had delighted me. +He did not stop here, but turning to his mates, of whom he was +chief, introduced me to them as his best friend. These worthy +people, seeing me dressed like a lord, with a cross on my breast, +took me for a cosmopolitan charlatan who was expected at Augsburg, +and Bassi, strange to say, did not undeceive them. When the +company had taken off its stage rags and put on its everyday rags, +Bassi's ugly wife took me by the arm and said I must come and sup +with her. I let myself be led, and we soon got to just the kind +of room I had imagined. It was a huge room on the ground floor, +which served for kitchen, dining-room, and bedroom all at once. +In the middle stood a long table, part of which was covered with a +cloth which looked as if it had been in use for a month, and at +the other end of the room somebody was washing certain earthenware +dishes in a dirty pan. This den was lighted by one candle stuck +in the neck of a broken bottle, and as there were no snuffers +Bassi's wife snuffed it cleverly with her finger and thumb, wiping +her hand on the table-cloth after throwing the burnt wick on the +floor. An actor with long moustaches, who played the villain in +the various pieces, served an enormous dish of hashed-up meat, +swimming in a sea of dirty water dignified with the name of sauce; +and the hungry family proceeded to tear pieces of bread off the +loaf with their fingers or teeth, and then to dip them in the +dish; but as all did the same no one had a right to be disgusted. +A large pot of ale passed from hand to hand, and with all this +misery mirth displayed itself on every countenance, and I had to +ask myself what is happiness. For a second course there was a +dish of fried pork, which was devoured with great relish. Bassi +was kind enough not to press me to take part in this banquet, and +I felt obliged to him. + +The meal over, he proceeded to impart to me his adventures, which +were ordinary enough, and like those which many a poor devil has +to undergo; and while he talked his pretty daughter sat on my +knee. Bassi brought his story to an end by saying that he was +going to Venice for the carnival, and was sure of making a lot of +money. I wished him all the luck he could desire, and on his +asking me what profession I followed the fancy took me to reply +that I was a doctor. + +"That's a better trade than mine," said he, "and I am happy to be +able to give you a valuable present." + +"What is that?" I asked. + +"The receipt for the Venetian Specific, which you can sell at two +florins a pound, while it will only cost you four gros." + +"I shall be delighted; but tell me, how is the treasury?" + +"Well, I can't complain for a first night. I have paid all +expenses, and have given my actors a florin apiece. But I am sure +I don't know how I am to play to-morrow, as the company has +rebelled; they say they won't act unless I give each of them a +florin in advance." + +"They don't ask very much, however." + +"I know that, but I have no money, and nothing to pledge; but they +will be sorry for it afterwards, as I am sure I shall make at +least fifty florins to-morrow." + +"How many are there in the company?" + +"Fourteen, including my family. Could you lend me ten florins? +I would pay you back tomorrow night." + +"Certainly, but I should like to have you all to supper at the +nearest inn to the theatre. Here are the ten florins." + +The poor devil overflowed with gratitude, and said he would order +supper at a florin a head, according to my instructions. +I thought the sight of fourteen famished actors sitting down to a +good supper would be rather amusing. + +The company gave a play the next evening, but as only thirty or at +most forty people were present, poor Bassi did not know where to +turn to pay for the lighting and the orchestra. He was in +despair; and instead of returning my ten florins he begged me to +lend him another ten, still in the hope of a good house next time. +I consoled him by saying we would talk it over after supper, and +that I would go to the inn to wait for my guests. + +I made the supper last three hours by dint of passing the bottle +freely. My reason was that I had taken a great interest in a +young girl from Strasburg, who played singing chamber-maids. Her +features were exquisite and her voice charming, while she made me +split my sides with laughing at her Italian pronounced with an +Alsatian accent, and at her gestures which were of the most comic +description. + +I was determined to possess her in the course of the next twenty- +four hours, and before the party broke up I spoke as follows:-- + +"Ladies and gentlemen, I will engage you myself for a week at +fifty florins a day on the condition that you acknowledge me as +your manager for the time being, and pay all the expenses of the +theatre. You must charge the prices I name for seats, five +members of the company to be chosen by me must sup with me every +evening. If the receipts amount to more than fifty florins, we +will share the overplus between us." + +My proposal was welcomed with shouts of joy, and I called for pen, +ink, and paper, and drew up the agreement. + +"For to-morrow," I said to Bassi, "the prices for admission shall +remain the same, but the day after we will see what can be done. +You and your family will sup with me to-morrow, as also the young +Alsatian whom I could never separate from her dear Harlequin:" + +He issued bills of an enticing description for the following +evening; but, in spite of all, the pit only contained a score of +common people, and nearly all the boxes were empty. + +Bassi had done his best, and when we met at supper he came up to +me looking extremely confused, and gave me ten or twelve florins. + +"Courage!" said I; and I proceeded to share them among the guests +present. + +We had a good supper, and I kept them at table till midnight, +giving them plenty of choice wine and playing a thousand pranks +with Bassi's daughter and the young Alsatian, who sat one on each +side of me. I did not heed the jealous Harlequin, who seemed not +to relish my familiarities with his sweetheart. The latter lent +herself to my endearments with a bad enough grace, as she hoped +Harlequin would marry her, and consequently did not want to vex +him. When supper was over, we rose, and I took her between my +arms, laughing, and caressing her in a manner which seemed too +suggestive to the lover, who tried to pull me away. I thought +this rather too much in my turn, and seizing him by his shoulders +I dismissed him with a hearty kick, which he received with great +humility. However, the situation assumed a melancholy aspect, for +the poor girl began to weep bitterly. Bassi and his wife, two +hardened sinners, laughed at her tears, and Bassi's daughter said +that her lover had offered me great provocation; but the young +Alsatian continued weeping, and told me that she would never sup +with me again if I did not make her lover return. + +"I will see to all that," said I; and four sequins soon made her +all smiles again. She even tried to shew me that she was not +really cruel, and that she would be still less so if I could +manage the jealous Harlequin. I promised everything, and she did +her best to convince me that she would be quite complaisant on the +first opportunity. + +I ordered Bassi to give notice that the pit would be two florins +and the boxes a ducat, but that the gallery would be opened freely +to the first comers. + +"We shall have nobody there," said he, looking alarmed. + +"Maybe, but that remains to be seen. You must request twelve +soldiers to keep order, and I will pay for them." + +"We shall want some soldiers to look after the mob which will +beseige the gallery, but as for the rest of the house . . . ." + +"Again I tell you, we shall see. Carry out my instructions, and +whether they prove successful or no, we will have a merry supper +as usual." + +The next day I called upon the Harlequin in his little den of a +room, and with two Louis, and a promise to respect his mistress, I +made him as soft as a glove. + +Bassi's bills made everybody laugh. People said he must be mad; +but when it was ascertained that it was the lessee's speculation, +and that I was the lessee, the accusation of madness was turned on +me, but what did I care? At night the gallery was full an hour +before the rise of the curtain; but the pit was empty, and there was +nobody in the boxes with the exception of Count Lamberg, a Genoese +abbe named Bolo, and a young man who appeared to me a woman in +disguise. + +The actors surpassed themselves, and the thunders of applause from +the gallery enlivened the performance. + +When we got to the inn, Bassi gave me the three ducats for the +three boxes, but of course I returned them to him; it was quite a +little fortune for the poor actors. I sat down at table between +Bassi's wife and daughter, leaving the Alsatian to her lover. I +told the manager to persevere in the same course, and to let those +laugh who would, and I made him promise to play all his best +pieces. + +When the supper and the wine had sufficiently raised my spirits, I +devoted my attention to Bassi's daughter, who let me do what I +liked, while her father and mother only laughed, and the silly +Harlequin fretted and fumed at not being able to take the same +liberties with his Dulcinea. But at the end of supper, when I had +made the girl in a state of nature, I myself being dressed like +Adam before he ate the fatal apple, Harlequin rose, and taking his +sweetheart's arm was going to draw her away. I imperiously told +him to sit down, and he obeyed me in amazement, contenting himself +with turning his back. His sweetheart did not follow his example, +and so placed herself on the pretext of defending my victim that +she increased my enjoyment, while my vagrant hand did not seem to +displease her. + +The scene excited Bassi's wife, and she begged her husband to give +her a proof of his love for her, to which request he acceded, +while modest Harlequin sat by the fire with his head on his hands. +The Alsatian was in a highly excited state, and took advantage of +her lover's position to grant me all I wished, so I proceeded to +execute the great work with her, and the violent movements of her +body proved that she was taking as active a part in it as myself. + +When the orgy was over I emptied my purse on the table, and +enjoyed the eagerness with which they shared a score of sequins. + +This indulgence at a time when I had not yet recovered my full +strength made me enjoy a long sleep. Just as I awoke I was handed +a summons to appear before the burgomaster. I made haste with my +toilette, for I felt curious to know the reason of this citation, +and I was aware I had nothing to fear. When I appeared, the +magistrate addressed me in German, to which I turned a deaf ear, +for I only knew enough of that language to ask for necessaries. +When he was informed of my ignorance of German he addressed me in +Latin, not of the Ciceronian kind by any means, but in that +peculiar dialect which obtains at most of the German universities. + +"Why do you bear a false name?" he asked. + +"My name is not false. You can ask Carli, the banker, who has +paid me fifty thousand florins." + +"I know that; but your name is Casanova, so why do you call +yourself Seingalt?" + +"I take this name, or rather I have taken it, because it belongs +to me, and in such a manner that if anyone else dared to take it I +should contest it as my property by every legitimate resource." + +"Ah! and how does this name belong to you?" + +"Because I invented it; but that does not prevent my being +Casanova as well." + +"Sir, you must choose between Casanova and Seingalt; a man cannot +have two names." + +"The Spaniards and Portuguese often have half a dozen names." + +"But you are not a Spaniard or a Portuguese; you are an Italian: +and, after all, how can one invent a name?" + +"It's the simplest thing in the world." + +"Kindly explain." + +"The alphabet belongs equally to the whole human race; no one can +deny that. I have taken eight letters and combined them in such a +way as to produce the word Seingalt. It pleased me, and I have +adopted it as my surname, being firmly persuaded that as no one +had borne it before no one could deprive me of it, or carry it +without my consent." + +"This is a very odd idea. Your arguments are rather specious than +well grounded, for your name ought to be none other than your +father's name." + +"I suggest that there you are mistaken; the name you yourself bear +because your father bore it before you, has not existed from all +eternity; it must have been invented by an ancestor of yours who +did not get it from his father, or else your name would have been +Adam. Does your worship agree to that?" + +"I am obliged to; but all this is strange, very strange." + +"You are again mistaken. It's quite an old custom, and I engage +to give you by to-morrow a long list of names invented by worthy +people still living, who are allowed to enjoy their names in peace +and quietness without being cited to the town hall to explain how +they got them." + +"But you will confess that there are laws against false names?" + +"Yes, but I repeat this name is my true name. Your name which I +honour, though I do not know it, cannot be more true than mine, +for it is possible that you are not the son of the gentleman you +consider your father." He smiled and escorted me out, telling me +that he would make enquiries about me of M. Carli. + +I took the part of going to M. Carli's myself. The story made +him laugh. He told me that the burgomaster was a Catholic, a +worthy man, well to do, but rather thick-headed; in short, a fine +subject for a joke. + +The following morning M. Carli asked me to breakfast, and +afterwards to dine with the burgomaster. + +"I saw him yesterday," said he, "and we had a long talk, in the +course of which I succeeded in convincing him on the question of +names, and he is now quite of your opinion." + +I accepted the invitation with pleasure, as I was sure of seeing +some good company. I was not undeceived; there were some charming +women and several agreeable men. Amongst others, I noticed the +woman in man's dress I had seen at the theatre. I watched her at +dinner, and I was the more convinced that she was a woman. +Nevertheless, everybody addressed her as a man, and she played the +part to admiration. I, however, being in search of amusement, and +not caring to seem as if I were taken in, began to talk to her in +a stream of gallantry as one talks to a woman, and I contrived to +let her know that if I were not sure of her sex I had very strong +suspicions. She pretended not to understand me, and everyone +laughed at my feigned expression of offence. + +After dinner, while we were taking coffee, the pretended gentleman +shewed a canon who was present a portrait on one of her rings. It +represented a young lady who was in the company, and was an +excellent likeness--an easy enough matter, as she was very ugly. +My conviction was not disturbed, but when I saw the imposter +kissing the young lady's hand with mingled affection and respect, +I ceased jesting on the question of her sex. M. Carli took me +aside for a moment, and told me that in spite of his effeminate +appearance this individual was a man, and was shortly going to +marry the young lady whose hand he had just kissed. + +"It may be so," said I, "but I can't believe it all the same." + +However, the pair were married during the carnival, and the +husband obtained a rich dowry with his wife. The poor girl died +of 'grief in the course of a year, but did not say a word till she +was on her death-bed. Her foolish parents, ashamed of having been +deceived so grossly, dared not say anything, and got the female +swindler out of the way; she had taken good care, however, to lay +a firm hold on the dowry. The story became known, and gave the +good folk of Augsburg much amusement, while I became renowned for +my sagacity in piercing the disguise. + +I continued to enjoy the society of my two servants and of the +fair Alsation, who cost me a hundred louis. At the end of a week +my agreement with Bassi came to an end, leaving him with some +money in his pocket. He continued to give performances, returning +to the usual prices and suppressing the free gallery. He did very +fair business. + +I left Augsburg towards the middle of December. + +I was vexed on account of Gertrude, who believed herself with +child, but could not make up her mind to accompany me to France. +Her father would have been pleased for me to take her; he had no +hopes of getting her a husband, and would have been glad enough to +get rid of her by my making her my mistress. + +We shall hear more of her in the course of five or six years, as +also of my excellent cook, Anna Midel, to whom I gave a present of +four hundred florins. She married shortly afterwards, and when I +visited the town again I found her unhappy. + +I could not make up my mind to forgive Le Duc, who rode on the +coachman's box, and when we were in Paris, half-way along the Rue +St. Antoine, I made him take his trunk and get down; and I left +him there without a character, in spite of his entreaties. I +never heard of him again, but I still miss him, for, in spite of +his great failings, he was an excellent servant. Perhaps I should +have called to mind the important services he had rendered me at +Stuttgart, Soleure, Naples, Florence, and Turin; but I could not +pass over his impudence in compromising me before the Augsburg +magistrate. If I had not succeeded in bringing a certain theft +home to him, it would have been laid to my door, and I should have +been dishonoured. + +I had done a good deal in saving him from justice, and, besides, I +had rewarded him liberally for all the special services he had +done me. + +From Augsburg I went to Bale by way of Constance, where I stayed +at the dearest inn in Switzerland. The landlord, Imhoff, was the +prince of cheats, but his daughters were amusing, and after a +three days' stay I continued my journey. I got to Paris on the +last day of the year 1761, and I left the coach at the house in +the Rue du Bacq, where my good angel Madame d'Urfe had arranged me +a suite of rooms with the utmost elegance. + +I spent three weeks in these rooms without going anywhere, in +order to convince the worthy lady that I had only returned to +Paris to keep my word to her, and make her be born again a man. + +We spent the three weeks in making preparations for this divine +operation, and our preparations consisted of devotions to each of +the seven planets on the days consecrated to each of the +intelligences. After this I had to seek, in a place which the +spirits would point out to me, for a maiden, the daughter of an +adept, whom I was to impregnate with a male child in a manner only +known to the Fraternity of the Rosy Cross. Madame d'Urfe was to +receive the child into her arms the moment it was born; and to +keep it beside her in bed for seven days. At the end of the seven +days she would die with her lips on the lips of the child, who +would thus receive her reasonable soul, whereas before it had +only possessed a vegetal soul. + +This being done, it was to be my part to care for the child with +the magisterium which was known to me, and as soon as it had +attained to its third year Madame d'Urfe would begin to recover +her self-consciousness, and then I was to begin to initiate her in +the perfect knowledge of the Great Work. + +The operation must take place under the full moon during the +months of April, May, or June. Above all, Madame d'Urfe was to +make a will in favour of the child, whose guardian I was to be +till its thirteenth year. + +This sublime madwoman had no doubts whatever as to the truth of +all this, and burned with impatience to see the virgin who was +destined to be the vessel of election. She begged me to hasten my +departure. + +I had hoped, in obtaining my answers from the oracle, that she +would be deterred by the prospect of death, and I reckoned on the +natural love of life making her defer the operation for an +indefinite period. But such was not the case, and I found myself +obliged to keep my word, in appearance at all events, and to go on +my quest for the mysterious virgin. + +What I wanted was some young hussy whom I could teach the part, +and I thought of the Corticelli. She had been at Prague for the +last nine months, and when we were at Bologna I had promised to +come and see her before the end of the year. But as I was leaving +Germany--by no means a land of pleasant memories to me--I did not +think it was worth while going out of my way for such a trifle in +the depth of winter. I resolved to send her enough money for the +journey, and to let her meet me in some French town. + +M. de Fouquet, a friend of Madame d'Urfe's, was Governor of Metz, +and I felt sure that, with a letter of introduction from Madame +d'Urfe, this nobleman would give me a distinguished reception. +Besides, his nephew, the Comte de Lastic, whom I knew well, was +there with his regiment. For these reasons I chose Metz as a +meeting-place with the virgin Corticelli, to whom this new part +would certainly be a surprise. Madame d'Urfe gave me the +necessary introductions, and I left Paris on January 25th, 1762, +loaded with presents. I had a letter of credit to a large amount, +but I did not make use of it as my purse was abundantly +replenished. + +I took no servant, for after Costa's robbing me and Le Duc's +cheating me I felt as if I could not trust in anyone. I got to +Metz in two days, and put up at the "Roi Dagobert," an excellent +inn, where I found the Comte de Louvenhaupt, a Swede, whom I had +met at the house of the Princess of Anhalt-Zerbst, mother of the +Empress of Russia. He asked me to sup with him and the Duc de +Deux Pants, who was travelling incognito to Paris to visit Louis +XV., whose constant friend he was. + +The day after my arrival I took my letters to the governor, who +told me I must dine with him every day. M. de Lastic had left +Metz, much to my regret, as he would have contributed in no small +degree to the pleasure of my stay. The same day I wrote to the +Corticelli, sending her fifty louis, and telling her to come with +her mother as soon as possible, and to get someone who knew the +way to accompany her. She could not leaves Prague before the +beginning of Lent, and to make sure of her coming I promised that +I would make her fortune. + +In four or five days I knew my way about the town, but I did not +frequent polite assemblies, preferring to go to the theatre, where +a comic opera singer had captivated me. Her name was Raton, and +she was only fifteen, after the fashion of actresses who always +subtract at least two or three years from their age. However, +this failing is common to women, and is a pardonable one, since to +be youthful is the greatest of all advantages to them. Raton was +not so much handsome as attractive, but what chiefly made her an +object of desire was the fact that she had put the price of +twenty-five louis on her maidenhead. One could spend a night with +her, and make the trial for a Louis; the twenty-five were only to +be paid on the accomplishment of the great work. + +It was notorious that numerous officers in the army and young +barristers had undertaken the operation unsuccessfully, and all of +them had paid a louis apiece. + +This singular case was enough to whet my curiosity. I was not +long before I called on Raton, but not wishing to be duped by her +I took due precautions. I told her that she must come and sup +with me, and that I would give her the twenty-five louis if my +happiness was complete, and that if I were unsuccessful she should +have six louis instead of one, provided that she was not tied. +Her aunt assured me that this was not the case; but I could not +help thinking of Victorine. + +Raton came to supper with her aunt, who went to bed in an +adjoining closet when the dessert was brought in. The girl's +figure was exquisitely beautiful, and I felt that I had no small +task before me. She was kind, laughing, and defied me to the +conquest of a fleece not of gold, but of ebony, which the youth of +Metz had assaulted in vain. Perhaps the reader will think that I, +who was no longer in my first vigour, was discouraged by the +thought of the many who had failed; but I knew my powers, and it +only amused me. Her former lovers had been Frenchmen, more +skilled in carrying strong places by assault than in eluding the +artfulness of a girl who corked herself up. I was an Italian, and +knew all about that, so I had no doubts as to my victory. + +However, my preparations were superfluous; for as soon as Raton +felt from my mode of attack that the trick would be of no avail +she met my desires half-way, without trying the device which had +made her seem to be what she was no longer to her inexpert lovers. +She gave herself up in good faith, and when I had promised to keep +the secret her ardours were equal to mine. It was not her first +trial, and I consequently need not have given her the twenty-five +louis, but I was well satisfied, and not caring much for +maidenheads rewarded her as if I had been the first to bite at the +cherry. + +I kept Raton at a louis a day till the arrival of the Corticelli, +and she had to be faithful to me, as I never let her go out of my +sight. I liked the girl so well and found her so pleasant that I +was sorry that the Corticelli was coming; however, I was told of +her arrival one night just as I was leaving my box at the theatre. +My footman told me in a loud voice that my lady wife, my daughter, +and a gentleman had just arrived from Frankfort, and were awaiting +me at the inn. + +"Idiot," I exclaimed, "I have no wife and no daughter." + +However, all Metz heard that my family had arrived. + +The Corticelli threw her arms round my neck, laughing as usual, +and her mother presented me to the worthy man who had accompanied +them from Prague to Metz. He was an Italian named Month, who had +lived for a long time at Prague, where he taught his native +language. I saw that M. Month and the old woman were suitably +accommodated, and I then led the young fool into my room. I found +her changed for the better; she had grown, her shape was improved, +and her pleasant manners made her a very charming girl. + + + + +CHAPTER XV + +I Returned to Paris With The Corticelli, Now Countess Lascaris-- +The Hypostasis Fails--Aix-la-Chapelle--Duel--Mimi d'Ache--The +Corticelli Turns Traitress to Her Own Disadvantage--Journey to +Sulzbach + + +"Why did you allow your mother to call herself my wife, little +simpleton? Do you think that's a compliment to my judgment? She +might have given herself out for your governess, as she wishes to +pass you off as my daughter." + +"My mother is an obstinate old woman who had rather be whipped at +the cart-tail than call herself my governess. She has very narrow +ideas, and always thinks that governess and procuress mean the +same thing." + +"She's an old fool, but we will make her hear reason either with +her will or in spite of it. But you look well dressed, have you +made your fortune?" + +"At Prague I captivated the affections of Count N----, and he +proved a generous lover. But let your first action be to send +back M. Month. The worthy man has his family at Prague to look after; +he can't afford to stay long here." + +"True, I will see about it directly." + +The coach started for Frankfort the same evening, and summoning +Month I thanked him for his kindness and paid him generously, so +he went off well pleased. + +I had nothing further to do at Metz, so I took leave of my new +friends, and in two days time I was at Nancy, where I wrote to +Madame d'Urfe that I was on my way back with a virgin, the last of +the family of Lascaris, who had once reigned at Constantinople. I +begged her to receive her from my hands, at a country house which +belonged to her, where we should be occupied for some days in +cabalistic ceremonies. + +She answered that she would await us at Pont-Carre, an old castle +four leagues distant from Paris, and that she would welcome the +young princess with all possible kindness. + +"I owe her all the more friendship," added the sublime madwoman, +"as the family of Lascaris is connected with the family of d'Urfe, +and as I am to be born again in the seed of the happy virgin." + +I felt that my task would be not exactly to throw cold water on +her enthusiasm, but to hold it in check and to moderate its +manifestations. I therefore explained to her by return of post +that she must be content to treat the virgin as a countess, not a +princess, and I ended by informing her that we should arrive, +accompanied by the countess's governess, on the Monday of Holy +Week. + +I spent twelve days at Nancy, instructing the young madcap in the +part she had to play, and endeavouring to persuade her mother that +she must content herself with being the Countess Lascaris's humble +servant. It was a task of immense difficulty; it was not enough +to shew her that our success depended on her submitting; I had to +threaten to send her back to Bologna by herself. I had good +reason to repent of my perseverance. That woman's obstinacy was +an inspiration of my good angel's, bidding me avoid the greatest +mistake I ever made. + +On the day appointed we reached Pont-Carre. Madame d'Urfe, whom I +had advised of the exact hour of our arrival, had the drawbridge +of the castle lowered, and stood in the archway in the midst of +her people, like a general surrendering with all the honours of +war. The dear lady, whose madness was but an excess of wit, gave +the false princess so distinguished a reception that she would +have shewn her amazement if I had not warned her of what she might +expect. Thrice did she clasp her to her breast with a tenderness +that was quite maternal, calling her her beloved niece, and +explaining the entire pedigrees of the families of Lascaris and +d'Urfe to make the countess understand how she came to be her +niece. I was agreeably surprised to see the polite and dignified +air with which the Italian wench listened to all this; she did not +even smile, though the scene must have struck her as extremely +laughable. + +As soon as we got into the castle Madame d'Urfe proceeded to cense +the new-comer, who received the attention with all the dignity of +an opera queen, and then threw herself into the arms of the +priestess, who received her with enthusiastic affection. + +At dinner the countess was agreeable and talkative, which won her +Madame d'Urfe's entire favour; her broken French being easily +accounted for. Laura, the countess's mother, only knew her native +Italian, and so kept silence. She was given a comfortable room, +where her meals were brought to her, and which she only left to +hear mass. + +The castle was a fortified building, and had sustained several +sieges in the civil wars. As its name, Pont-Carre, indicated, it +was square, and was flanked by four crenelated towers and +surrounded by a broad moat. The rooms were vast, and richly +furnished in an old-fashioned way. The air was full of venomous +gnats who devoured us and covered our faces with painful bites; +but I had agreed to spend a week there, and I should have been +hard put to it to find a pretext for shortening the time. Madame +d'Urfe had a bed next, her own for her niece, but I was not afraid +of her attempting to satisfy herself as to the countess's +virginity, as the oracle had expressly forbidden it under pain or +failure. The operation was fixed for the fourteenth day of the +April moon. + +On that day we had a temperate supper, after which I went to bed. +A quarter of an hour afterwards Madame d'Urfe came, leading the +virgin Lascaris. She undressed her, scented her, cast a lovely +veil over her body, and when the countess was laid beside me she +remained, wishing to be present at an operation which was to +result in her being born again in the course of nine months. + +The act was consummated in form, and then Madame d'Urfe left us +alone for the rest of the night, which was well employed. +Afterwards, the countess slept with her aunt till the last day of +the moon, when I asked the oracle if the Countess Lascaris had +conceived. That well might be, for I had spared nothing to that +intent; but I thought it more prudent to make the oracle reply +that the operation had failed because the small Count d'Aranda had +watched us behind a screen. Madame d'Urfe was in despair, but I +consoled her by a second reply, in which the oracle declared that +though the operation could only be performed in France in April, +it could take place out of that realm in May; but the inquisitive +young count, whose influence had proved so fatal, must be sent for +at least a year to some place a hundred leagues from Paris. The +oracle also indicated the manner in which he was to travel; he was +to have a tutor, a servant, and all in order. + +The oracle had spoken, and no more was wanted. Madame d'Urfe +thought of an abbe she liked for his tutor, and the count was sent +to Lyons, with strong letters of commendation to M. de Rochebaron, +a relation of his patroness. The young man was delighted to +travel, and never had any suspicion of the way in which I had +slandered him. It was not a mere fancy which suggested this +course of action. I had discovered that the Corticelli was making +up to him, and that her mother favoured the intrigue. I had +surprised her twice in the young man's room, and though he only +cared for the girl as a youth cares for all girls, the Signora +Laura did not at all approve of my opposing her daughter's +designs. + +Our next task was to fix on some foreign town where we could again +attempt the mysterious operation. We settled on Aix-la-Chapelle, +and in five or six days all was ready for the journey. + +The Corticeili, angry with me for having thwarted her in her +projects, reproached me bitterly, and from that time began to be +my enemy; she even allowed herself to threaten me if I did not get +back the pretty boy, as she called him. + +"You have no business to be jealous," said she, "and I am the +mistress of my own actions." + +"Quite right, my dear," I answered; "but it is my business to see +that you do not behave like a prostitute in your present +position." + +The mother was in a furious rage, and said that she and her +daughter would return to Bologna, and to quiet them I promised to +take them there myself as soon as we had been to Aix-la-Chapelle. + +Nevertheless I did not feel at ease, and to prevent any plots +taking place I hastened our departure. + +We started in May, in a travelling carriage containing Madame +d'Urfe, myself, the false Lascaris, and her maid and favourite, +named Brougnole. We were followed by a coach with two seats; in +it were the Signora Laura and another servant. Two men-servants +in full livery sat on the outside of our travelling carriage. We +stopped a day at Brussels, and another at Liege. At Aix there +were many distinguished visitors, and at the first ball we +attended Madame d'Urfe presented the Lascaris to two Princesses of +Mecklenburg as her niece. The false countess received their +embraces with much ease and modesty, and attracted the particular +attention of the Margrave of Baireuth and the Duchess of +Wurtemberg, his daughter, who took possession of her, and did not +leave her till the end of the ball. + +I was on thorns the whole time, in terror lest the heroine might +make some dreadful slip. She danced so gracefully that everybody +gazed at her, and I was the person who was complimented on her +performance. + +I suffered a martyrdom, for these compliments seemed to be given +with malicious intent. I suspected that the ballet-girl had been +discovered beneath the countess, and I felt myself dishonoured. I +succeeded in speaking privately to the young wanton for a moment, +and begged her to dance like a young lady, and not like a chorus +girl; but she was proud of her success, and dared to tell me that +a young lady might know how to dance as well as a professional +dancer, and that she was not going to dance badly to please me. I +was so enraged with her impudence, that I would have cast her off +that instant if it had been possible; but as it was not, I +determined that her punishment should lose none of its sharpness +by waiting; and whether it be a vice or a virtue, the desire of +revenge is never extinguished in my heart till it is satisfied. + +The day after the ball Madame d'Urfe presented her with a casket +containing a beautiful watch set with brilliants, a pair of +diamond ear-rings, and a ring containing a ruby of fifteen carats. +The whole was worth sixty thousand francs. I took possession of +it to prevent her going off without my leave. + +In the meanwhile I amused myself with play and making bad +acquaintances. The worst of all was a French officer, named +d'Ache, who had a pretty wife and a daughter prettier still. +Before long the daughter had taken possession of the heart which +the Corticelli had lost, but as soon as Madame d'Ache saw that I +preferred her daughter to herself she refused to receive me at her +house. + +I had lent d'Ache ten Louis, and I consequently felt myself +entitled to complain of his wife's conduct; but he answered rudely +that as I only went to the house after his daughter, his wife was +quite right; that he intended his daughter to make a good match, +and that if my intentions were honourable I had only to speak to +the mother. His manner was still more offensive than his words, +and I felt enraged, but knowing the brutal drunken characteristics +of the man, and that he was always ready to draw cold steel for a +yes or a no, I was silent and resolved to forget the girl, not +caring to become involved with a man like her father. + +I had almost cured myself of my fancy when, a few days after our +conversation, I happened to go into a billiard-room where d'Ache +was playing with a Swiss named Schmit, an officer in the Swedish +army. As soon as d'Ache saw me he asked whether I would lay the +ten Louis he owed me against him. + +"Yes," said I, "that will make double or quits." + +Towards the end of the match d'Ache made an unfair stroke, which +was so evident that the marker told him of it; but as this stroke +made him the winner, d'Ache seized the stakes and put them in his +pocket without heeding the marker or the other player, who, seeing +himself cheated before his very eyes, gave the rascal a blow +across the face with his cue. D'Ache parried the blow with his +hand, and drawing his sword rushed at Schmit, who had no arms. +The marker, a sturdy young fellow, caught hold of d'Ache round the +body, and thus prevented murder. The Swiss went out, saying, + +"We shall see each other again." + +The rascally Frenchman cooled down, and said to me, + +"Now, you see, we are quits." + +"Very much quits." + +"That's all very well; but, by God! you might have prevented the +insult which has dishonoured me." + +"I might have done so, but I did not care to interfere. You are +strong enough to look after yourself. Schmit had not his sword, +but I believe him to be a brave man; and he will give you +satisfaction if you will return him his money, for there can be no +doubt that you lost the match." + +An officer, named de Pyene, took me up and said that he himself +would give me the twenty louis which d'Ache had taken, but that +the Swiss must give satisfaction. I had no hesitation in +promising that he would do so, and said I would bring a reply to +the challenge the next morning. + +I had no fears myself. The man of honour ought always to be ready +to use the sword to defend himself from insult, or to give +satisfaction for an insult he has offered. I know that the law of +duelling is a prejudice which may be called, and perhaps rightly, +barbarous, but it is a prejudice which no man of honour can +contend against, and I believed Schmit to be a thorough gentleman. + +I called on him at day-break, and found him still in bed. As soon +as he saw me, he said, + +"I am sure you have come to ask me to fight with d'Ache. I am +quite ready to burn powder with him, but he must first pay me the +twenty Louis he robbed me of." + +"You shall have them to-morrow, and I will attend you. D'Ache +will be seconded by M. de Pyene." + +"Very good. I shall expect you at day-break." + +Two hours after I saw de Pyene, and we fixed the meeting for the +next day, at six o'clock in the morning. The arms were to be +pistols. We chose a garden, half a league from the town, as the +scene of the combat. + +At day-break I found the Swiss waiting for me at the door of his +lodgings, carolling the 'ranz-des-vaches', so dear to his fellow- +countrymen. I thought that a good omen. + +"Here you are," said he; "let us be off, then." + +On the way, he observed, "I have only fought with men of honour up +to now, and I don't much care for killing a rascal; it's hangman's +work." + +"I know," I replied, "that it's very hard to have to risk one's +life against a fellow like that." + +"There's no risk," said Schmit, with a laugh. "I am certain that +I shall kill him." + +"How can you be certain?" + +"I shall make him tremble." + +He was right. This secret is infallible when it is applied to a +coward. We found d'Ache and de Pyene on the field, and five or +six others who must have been present from motives of curiosity. + +D'Ache took twenty louis from his pocket and gave them to his +enemy, saying, + +"I may be mistaken, but I hope to make you pay dearly for your +brutality." Then turning to me he said, + +"I owe you twenty louis also;" but I made no reply. + +Schmit put the money in his purse with the calmest air imaginable, +and making no reply to the other's boast placed himself between +two trees, distant about four paces from one another, and drawing +two pistols from his pocket said to d'Ache, + +"Place yourself at a distance of ten paces, and fire first. I +shall walk to and fro between these two trees, and you may walk as +far if you like to do so when my turn comes to fire." + +Nothing could be clearer or more calmly delivered than this +explanation. + +"But we must decide," said I, "who is to have the first shot." + +"There is no need," said Schmit. "I never fire first, besides, +the gentleman has a right to the first shot." + +De Pyene placed his friend at the proper distance and then stepped +aside, and d'Ache fired on his antagonist, who was walking slowly +to and fro without looking at him. Schmit turned round in the +coolest manner possible, and said, + +"You have missed me, sir; I knew you would. Try again." + +I thought he was mad, and that some arrangement would be come to; +but nothing of the kind. D'Ache fired a second time, and again +missed; and Schmit, without a word, but as calm as death, fired +his first pistol in the air, and then covering d'Ache with his +second pistol hit him in the forehead and stretched him dead on +the ground. He put back his pistols into his pocket and went off +directly by himself, as if he were merely continuing his walk. In +two minutes I followed his example, after ascertaining that the +unfortunate d'Ache no longer breathed. + +I was in a state of amazement. Such a duel was more like a combat +of romance than a real fact. I could not understand it; I had +watched the Swiss, and had not noticed the slightest change pass +over his face. + +I breakfasted with Madame d'Urfe, whom I found inconsolable. It +was the full moon, and at three minutes past four exactly I ought +to perform the mysterious creation of the child in which she was +to be born again. But the Lascaris, on whom the work was to be +wrought, was twisting and turning in her bed, contorting herself +in such a way that it would be impossible for me to accomplish the +prolific work. + +My grief, when I heard what had happened, was hypocritical; in the +first place because I no longer felt any desire for the girl, and +in the second because I thought I saw a way in which I could make +use of the incident to take vengeance on her. + +I lavished consolations on Madame d'Urfe; and on consulting the +oracle I found that the Lascaris had been defiled by an evil +genius, and that I must search for another virgin whose purity +must be under the protection of more powerful spirits. I saw that +my madwoman was perfectly happy with this, and I left her to visit +the Corticelli, whom I found in bed with her mother beside her. + +"You have convulsions, have you, dearest?" said I. + +"No, I haven't. I am quite well, but all the same I shall have +them till you give me back my jewel-casket." + +"You are getting wicked, my poor child; this comes of following +your mother's advice. As for the casket, if you are going to +behave like this, probably you will have it." + +"I will reveal all." + +"You will not be believed; and I shall send you back to Bologna +without letting you take any of the presents which Madame d'Urfe +has given you." + +"You ought to have given me back the casket when I declared myself +with child." + +Signora Laura told me that this was only too true, though I was +not the father. + +"Who is, then?" I asked. + +"Count N----, whose mistress she was at Prague." + +It did not seem probable, as she had no symptoms of pregnancy; +still it might be so. I was obliged to plot myself to bring the +plots of these two rascally women to nought, and without saying +anything to them I shut myself up with Madame d'Urfe to enquire of +the oracle concerning the operation which was to make her happy. + +After several answers, more obscure than any returned from the +oracular tripod at Delphi, the interpretation of which I left to +the infatuated Madame d'Urfe, she discovered herself--and I took +care not to contradict her--that the Countess Lascaris had gone +mad. I encouraged her fears, and succeeded in making her obtain +from a cabalistic pyramid the statement that the reason the +princess had not conceived was that she had been defiled by an +evil genius--an enemy of the Fraternity of the Rosy Cross. This +put Madame d'Urfe fairly on the way, and she added on her own +account that the girl must be with child by a gnome. + +She then erected another pyramid to obtain guidance on our quest, +and I so directed things that the answer came that she must write +to the moon. + +This mad reply, which should have brought her to her senses, only +made her more crazy than ever. She was quite ecstatic, and I am +sure that if I had endeavoured to shew her the nothingness of all +this I show have had nothing for my trouble. Her conclusion would +probably have been that I was possessed by an evil spirit, and was +no longer a true Rosy Cross. But I had no idea of undertaking a +cure which would have done me harm and her no 'good. Her +chimerical notions made her happy, and the cold naked truth would +doubtless have made her unhappy. + +She received the order to write to the moon with the greater +delight as she knew what ceremonies were to be observed in +addressing that planet; but she could not dispense with the +assistance of an adept, and I knew she would reckon on me. I told +her I should always be ready to serve her, but that, as she knew +herself, we should have to wait for the first phase of the new +moon. I was very glad to gain time, for I had lost heavily at +play, and I could not leave Aix-la-Chapelle before a bill, which I +had drawn on M. d'O. of Amsterdam, was cashed. In the mean time +we agreed that as the Countess Lascaris had become mad, we must +not pay any attention to what she might say, as the words would +not be hers but would proceed from the evil spirit who possessed +her. + +Nevertheless, we determined that as her state was a pitiable one, +and should be as much alleviated as possible, she should continue +to dine with us, but that in the evening she was to go to her +governess and sleep with her. + +After having thus disposed of Madame d'Urfe to disbelieve whatever +the Corticelli cared to tell her, and to concentrate all her +energies on the task of writing to Selenis, the intelligence of +the moon, I set myself seriously to work to regain the money I had +lost at play; and here my cabala was no good to me. I pledged the +Corticelli's casket for a thousand louis, and proceeded to play in +an English club where I had a much better chance of winning than +with Germans or Frenchmen. + +Three or four days after d'Ache's death, his widow wrote me a note +begging me to call on her. I found her in company with de Pyene. +She told me in a lugubrious voice that her husband had left many +debts unsettled, and that his creditors had seized everything she +possessed; and--that she was thus unable to pay the expenses of a +journey, though she wanted to take her daughter with her to +Colmar, and there to rejoin her family. + +"You caused my husband's death," she added, "and I ask you to give +me a thousand crowns; if you refuse me I shall commence a lawsuit +against you, for as the Swiss officer has left, you are the only +person I can prosecute." + +"I am surprised at your taking such a tone towards me," I replied, +coldly, "and were it not for the respect I feel for your +misfortune, I should answer as bitterly as you deserve. In the +first place I have not a thousand crowns to throw away, and if I +had I would not sacrifice my money to threats. I am curious to +know what kind of a case you could get up against me in the courts +of law. As for Schmit, he fought like a brave gentleman, and I +don't think you could get much out of him if he were still here. +Good-day, madam." + +I had scarcely got fifty paces from the house when I was joined by +de Pyene, who said that rather than Madame d'Ache should have to +complain of me he would cut my throat on the spot. We neither of +us had swords. + +"Your intention is not a very flattering one," said I, "and there +is something rather brutal about it. I had rather not have any +affair of the kind with a man whom I don't know and to whom I owe +nothing." + +"You are a coward." + +"I would be, you mean, if I were to imitate you. It is a matter +of perfect indifference to me what opinion you may have on the +subject. + +"You will be sorry for this." + +"Maybe, but I warn you that I never go out unattended by a pair of +pistols, which I keep in good order and know how to use." So +saying I shewd him the pistols, and took one in my right hand. + +At this the bully uttered an oath and we separated. + +At a short distance from the place where this scene had occurred I +met a Neapolitan named Maliterni, a lieutenant-colonel and aide to +the Prince de Condo, commander-in-chief of the French army. This +Maliterni was a boon companion, always ready to oblige, and always +short of money. We were friends, and I told him what had +happened. + +"I should be sorry," said I, "to have anything to do with a fellow +like de Pyene, and if you can rid me of him I promise you a +hundred crowns." + +"I daresay that can be managed," he replied, "and I will tell you +what I can do to-morrow!" + +In point of fact, he brought me news the next day that my cut- +throat had received orders from his superior officer to leave Aix- +la-Chapelle at day-break, and at the same time he gave me a +passport from the Prince de Conde. + +I confess that this was very pleasant tidings. I have never +feared to cross my sword with any man, though never sought the +barbarous pleasure of spilling men's blood; but on this occasion I +felt an extreme dislike to a duel with a fellow who was probably +of the same caste as his friend d'Ache. + +I therefore gave Maliterni my heartiest thanks, as well as the +hundred crowns I had promised him, which I considered so well +employed that I did not regret their loss. + +Maliterni, who was a jester of the first water, and a creature of +the Marshal d'Estrees, was lacking neither in wit nor knowledge; +but he was deficient in a sense of order and refinement. He was a +pleasant companion, for his gaiety was inexhaustible and he had a +large knowledge of the world. He attained the rank of field- +marshal in 1768, and went to Naples to marry a rich heiress, whom +he left a widow a year after. + +The day after de Pyene's departure I received a note from Mdlle. +d'Ache, begging me, for the sake of her sick mother, to come and +see her. I answered that I would be at such a place at such a +time, and that she could say what she liked to me. + +I found her at the place and time I appointed, with her mother, +whose illness, it appeared, did not prevent her from going out. +She called me her persecutor, and said that since the departure of +her best friend, de Pyene, she did not know where to turn; that +she had pledged all her belongings, and that I, who was rich, +ought to aid her, if I were not the vilest of men. + +"I feel for your condition," I replied, "as I feel your abuse of +me; and I cannot help saying that you have shewn yourself the +vilest of women in inciting de Pyene, who may be an honest man for +all I know, to assassinate me. In fine, rich or not, and though I +owe you nothing, I will give you enough money to take your +property out of pawn, and I may possibly take you to Colmar +myself, but you must first consent to my giving your charming +daughter a proof of my affection." + +"And you dare to make this horrible proposal to me?" + +"Horrible or not, I do make it." + +"I will never consent." + +"Good day, madam." + +I called the waiter to pay him for the refreshments I had ordered, +and I gave the girl six double louis, but her proud mother forbade +her to accept the money from me. I was not surprised, in spite of +her distress; for the mother was in reality still more charming +than the daughter, and she knew it. I ought to have given her the +preference, and thus have ended the dispute, but who can account +for his whims? I felt that she must hate me, for she did not care +for her daughter, and it must have humiliated her bitterly to be +obliged to regard her as a victorious rival. + +I left them still holding the six double louis, which pride or +scorn had refused, and I went to the faro-table and decided in +sacrificing them to fortune; but that capricious deity, as proud +as the haughty widow, refused them, and though I left them on the +board for five deals I almost broke the bank. An Englishman, +named Martin, offered to go shares with me, and I accepted, as I +knew he was a good player; and in the course of eight or ten days +we did such good business that I was not only able to take the +casket out of pledge and to cover all losses, but made a +considerable profit in addition. + +About this period, the Corticelli, in her rage against me, had +told Madame d'Urfe the whole history of her life, of our +acquaintance, and of her pregnancy. But the more truthfully she +told her story so much the more did the good lady believe her to +be mad, and we often laughed together at the extraordinary fancies +of the traitress. Madame d'Urfe put all her trust in the +instructions which Selenis would give in reply to her letter. + +Nevertheless, as the girl's conduct displeased me, I made her eat +her meals with her mother, while I kept Madame d'Urfe company. I +assured her that we should easily find another vessel of election, +the madness of the Countess Lascaris having made her absolutely +incapable of participating in our mysterious rites. + +Before long, d'Ache's widow found herself obliged to give me her +Mimi; but I won her by kindness, and in such a way that the mother +could pretend with decency to know nothing about it. I redeemed +all the goods she had pawned, and although the daughter had not +yet yielded entirely to my ardour, I formed the plan of taking +them to Colmar with Madame d'Urfe. To make up the good lady's +mind, I resolved to let that be one of the instructions from the +moon, and this she would not only obey blindly but would have no +suspicions as to my motive. + +I managed the correspondence between Selenis and Madame d'Urfe in +the following manner: + +On the day appointed, we supped together in a garden beyond the +town walls, and in a room on the ground floor of the house I had +made all the necessary preparations, the letter which was to fall +from the moon, in reply to Madame d'Urfe's epistle, being in my +pocket. At a little distance from the chamber of ceremonies I had +placed a large bath filled with lukewarm water and perfumes +pleasing to the deity of the night, into which we were to plunge +at the hour of the moon, which fell at one o'clock. + +When we had burnt incense, and sprinkled the essences appropriate +to the cult of Selenis, we took off all our clothes, and holding +the letter concealed in my left hand, with the right I graciously +led Madame d'Urfe to the brink of the bath. Here stood an +alabaster cup containing spirits of wine which I kindled, +repeating magical words which I did not understand, but which she +said after me, giving me the letter addressed to Selenis. I burnt +the letter in the flame of the spirits, beneath the light of the +moon, and the credulous lady told me she saw the characters she +had traced ascending in the rays of the planet. + +We then got into the bath, and the letter, which was written in +silver characters on green paper appeared on the surface of the +water in the course of ten minutes. As soon as Madame d'Urfe saw +it, she picked it up reverently and got out of the bath with me. + +We dried and scented ourselves, and proceeded to put on our +clothes. As soon as we were in a state of decency I told Madame +d'Urfe that she might read the epistle, which she had placed on a +scented silk cushion. She obeyed, and I saw sadness visibly +expressed on her features when she saw that her hypostasis was +deferred till the arrival of Querilinthus, whom she would see with +me at Marseilles in the spring of next year. The genius also said +that the Countess Lascaris could not only do her harm, and that +she should consult me as to the best means of getting rid of her. +The letter ended by ordering her not to leave at Aix a lady who +had lost her husband, and had a daughter who was destined to be of +great service to the fraternity of the R. C. She was to take them +to Alsace, and not to leave them till they were there, and safe +from that danger which threatened them if they were left to +themselves. + +Madame d'Urfe, who with all her folly was an exceedingly +benevolent woman, commended the widow to my care enthusiastically, +and seemed impatient to hear her whole history. I told her all +the circumstances which I thought would strengthen her in her +resolution to befriend them, and promised to introduce the ladies +to them at the first opportunity. + +We returned to Aix, and spent the night in discussing the phantoms +which coursed through her brain. All was going on well, and my +only care was for the journey to Aix, and how to obtain the +complete enjoyment of Mimi after having so well deserved her +favours. + +I had a run of luck at play the next day, and in the evening I +gave Madame d'Ache an agreeable surprise by telling her that I +should accompany her and her Mimi to Colmar. I told her that I +should begin by introducing her to the lady whom I had the honour +to accompany, and I begged her to be ready by the next day as the +marchioness was impatient to see her. I could see that she could +scarcely believe her ears, for she thought Madame d'Urfe was in +love with me, and she could not understand her desire to make the +acquaintance of two ladies who might be dangerous rivals. + +I conducted them to Madame d'Urfe at the appointed hour, and they +were received with a warmth which surprised them exceedingly, for +they could not be expected to know that their recommendation came +from the moon. We made a party of four, and while the two ladies +talked together in the fashion of ladies who have seen the world, +I paid Mimi a particular attention, which her mother understood +very well, but which Madame d'Urfe attributed to the young lady's +connection with the Rosy Cross. + +In the evening we all went to a ball, and there the Corticelli, +who was always trying to annoy me, danced as no young lady would +dance. She executed rapid steps, pirouetted, cut capers, and +shewed her legs; in short, she behaved like a ballet-girl. I was +on thorns. An officer, who either ignored, or pretended to +ignore, my supposed relation to her, asked me if she was a +professional dancer. I heard another man behind me say that he +thought he remembered seeing her on the boards at Prague. I +resolved on hastening my departure, as I foresaw that if I stayed +much longer at Aix the wretched girl would end by costing me my +life. + +As I have said, Madame d'Ache had a good society manner, and this +put her in Madame d'Urfe's good graces, who saw in her politeness +a new proof of the favour of Selenis. Madame d'Ache felt, I +suppose, that she awed me some return after all I had done for +her, and left the ball early, so that when I took Mimi home I +found myself alone with her, and at perfect liberty to do what I +liked. I profited by the opportunity, and remained with Mimi for +two hours, finding her so complaisant and even passionate that +when I left her I had nothing more to desire. + +In three days time I provided the mother and daughter with their +outfit, and we left Aix gladly in an elegant and convenient +travelling carriage which I had provided. Half an hour before we +left I made an acquaintance which afterwards proved fatal to me. +A Flemish officer, unknown to me, accosted me, and painted his +destitute condition in such sad colours that I felt obliged to +give him twelve louis. Ten minutes after, he gave me a paper in +which he acknowledged the debt, and named the time in which he +could pay it. From the paper I ascertained that his name was +Malingan. In ten months the reader will hear the results. + +Just as we were starting I shewed the Corticelli a carriage with +four places, in which she, her mother, and the two maids, were to +travel. At this she trembled, her pride was wounded, and for a +moment I thought she was going out of her mind; she rained sobs, +abuse, and curses on me. I stood the storm unmoved, however, and +Madame d'Urfe only laughed at her niece's paroxysms, and seemed +delighted to find herself sitting opposite to me with the servant +of Selenis beside her, while Mimi was highly pleased to be so +close to me. + +We got to Liege at nightfall on the next day, and I contrived to +make Madame d'Urfe stay there the day following, wishing to get +horses to take us through the Ardennes, and thus to have the +charming Mimi longer in my possession. + +I rose early and went out to see the town. By the great bridge, a +woman, so wrapped up in a black mantilla that only the tip of her +nose was visible, accosted me, and asked me to follow her into a +house with an open door which she shewed me. + +"As I have not the pleasure of knowing you," I replied, "prudence +will not allow me to do so." + +"You do know me, though," she replied, and taking me to the corner +of a neighbouring street she shewed me her face. What was my +surprise to see the fair Stuart of Avignon, the statue of the +Fountain of Vaucluse. I was very glad to meet her. + +In my curiosity I followed her into the house, to a room on the +first floor, where she welcomed me most tenderly. It was all no +good, for I felt angry with her, and despised her advances, no +doubt, because I had Mimi, and wished to keep all my love for her. +However, I took three louis out of my purse and gave them to her, +asking her to tell me her history. + +"Stuart," she said, "was only my keeper; my real name is Ranson, +and I am the mistress of a rich landed proprietor. I got back to +Liege after many sufferings." + +"I am delighted to hear that you are more prosperous now, but it +must be confessed that your behaviour at Avignon was both +preposterous and absurd. But the subject is not worth discussing. +Good day, madam." + +I then returned to my hotel to write an account of what I had seen +to the Marquis Grimaldi. + +The next day we left Liege, and were two days passing through the +Ardennes. This is one of the strangest tracts in Europe: a vast +forest, the traditions of which furnished Ariosto with some +splendid passages. + +There is no town in the forest, and though one is obliged to cross +it to pass from one country to another, hardly any of the +necessaries of life are to be found in it. + +The enquirer will seek in vain for vices or virtues, or manners of +any kind. The inhabitants are devoid of correct ideas, but have +wild notions of their own on the power of men they style scholars. +It is enough to be a doctor to enjoy the reputation of an +astrologer and a wizard. Nevertheless the Ardennes have a large +population, as I was assured that there were twelve hundred +churches in the forest. The people are good-hearted and even +pleasant, especially the young girls; but as a general rule the +fair sex is by no means fair in those quarters. In this vast +district watered by the Meuse is the town of Bouillon--a regular +hole, but in my time it was the freest place in Europe. The Duke +of Bouillon was so jealous of his rights that he preferred the +exercise of his prerogatives to all the honours he might have +enjoyed at the Court of France. We stayed a day at Metz, but did +not call on anyone; and in three days we reached Colmar, where we +left Madame d'Ache, whose good graces I had completely won. Her +family, in extremely comfortable circumstances, received the +mother and daughter with great affection. Mimi wept bitterly when +I left her, but I consoled her by saying that I would come back +before long. Madame d'Urfe seemed not to mind leaving them, and I +consoled myself easily enough. While congratulating myself on +having made mother and daughter happy, I adored the secret paths +and ways of Divine Providence. + +On the following day we went to Sulzbach, where the Baron of +Schaumburg, who knew Madame d'Urfe, gave us a warm welcome. I +should have been sadly boared in this dull place if it had not +been for gaming. Madame d'Urfe, finding herself in need of +company, encouraged the Corticelli to hope to regain my good +graces, and, consequently, her own. The wretched girl, seeing how +easily I had defeated her projects, and to what a pass of +humiliation I had brought her, had changed her part, and was now +submissive enough. She flattered herself that she would regain +the favour she had completely lost, and she thought the day was +won when she saw that Madame d'Ache and her daughter stayed at +Colmar. But what she had more at heart than either my friendship +or Madame d'Urfe's was the jewel-casket; but she dared not ask for +it, and her hopes of seeing it again were growing dim. By her +pleasantries at table which made Madame d'Urfe laugh she succeeded +in giving me a few amorous twinges; but still I did not allow my +feelings to relax my severity, and she continued to sleep with her +mother. + +A week after our arrival at Sulzbach I left Madame d'Urfe with the +Baron of Schaumburg, and I went to Colmar in the hope of good +fortune. But I was disappointed, as the mother and daughter had +both made arrangements for getting married. + +A rich merchant, who had been in love with the mother eighteen +years before, seeing her a widow and still pretty, felt his early +flames revive, and offered his hand and was accepted. A young +advocate found Mimi to his taste, and asked her in marriage. The +mother and daughter, fearing the results of my affection, and +finding it would be a good match, lost no time in giving their +consent. I was entertained in the family, and supped in the midst +of a numerous and choice assemblage; but seeing that I should only +annoy the ladies and tire myself in waiting for some chance favour +if I stayed, I bade them adieu and returned to Sulzbach the next +morning. I found there a charming girl from Strasburg, named +Salzmann, three or four gamesters who had come to drink the +waters, and several ladies, to whom I shall introduce the reader +in the ensuing chapter. + + + + +CHAPTER XVI + +I Send The Corticelli to Turin--Helen is Initiated Into The +Mysteries of Love I Go to Lyons--My Arrival at Turin + + +One of the ladies, Madame Saxe, was intended by nature to win the +devotion of a man of feeling; and if she had not had a jealous +officer in her train who never let her go out of his sight, and +seemed to threaten anyone who aspired to please, she would +probably have had plenty of admirers. This officer was fond of +piquet, but the lady was always obliged to sit close beside him, +which she seemed to do with pleasure. + +In the afternoon I played with him, and continued doing so for +five or six days. After that I could stand it no longer, as when +he had won ten or twelve louis he invariably rose and left me to +myself. His name was d'Entragues; he was a fine-looking man, +though somewhat thin, and had a good share of wit and knowledge of +the world. + +We had not played together for two days, when one afternoon he +asked if I would like to take my revenge. + +"No, I think not," said I, "for we don't play on the same +principle. I play for amusement's sake and you play to win +money." + +"What do you mean? Your words are offensive." + +"I didn't mean them to be offensive, but as a matter of fact, each +time we have played you have risen after a quarter of an hour." + +"You ought to be obliged to me, as otherwise you would have lost +heavily." + +"Possibly; but I don't think so." + +"I can prove it to you:" + +"I accept the offer, but the first to leave the table must forfeit +fifty Louis." + +"I agree; but money down." + +"I never play on credit." + +I ordered a waiter to bring cards, and I went to fetch four or +five rolls of a hundred Louis each. We began playing for five +Louis the game, each player putting down the fifty Louis wagered. + +We began to play at three, and at nine o'clock d'Entragues said we +might take some supper. + +"I am not hungry," I replied, "but you can go if you want me to +put the hundred Louis in my pocket." + +He laughed at this and went on playing, but this lacy fair scowled +at me, though I did not care in the least for that. All the +guests went to supper, and returned to keep us company till +midnight, but at that hour we found ourselves alone. D'Entragues +saw what kind of man he had got hold of and said never a word, +while I only opened my lips to score; we played with the utmost +coolness. + +At six o'clock the ladies and gentlemen who were taking the waters +began to assemble. We were applauded for our determination, in +spite of our grim look. The Louis were on the table; I had lost a +hundred, and yet the game was going in my favour. + +At nine the fair Madame Saxe put in an appearance, and shortly +after Madame d'Urfe came in with M. de Schaumburg. Both ladies +advised us to take a cup of chocolate. D'Entragues was the first +to consent, and thinking that I was almost done he said,-- + +"Let us agree that the first man who asks for food, who absents +himself for more than a quarter of an hour, or who falls asleep in +his chair, loses the bet." + +"I will take you at your word," I replied, "and I adhere to all +your conditions." + +The chocolate came, we took it, and proceeded with our play. At +noon we were summoned to dinner, but we both replied that we were +not hungry. At four o'clock we allowed ourselves to be persuaded +into taking some soup. When supper-time came and we were still +playing, people began to think that the affair was getting +serious, and Madame Saxe urged us to divide the wager. +D'Entragues, who had won a hundred louis, would have gladly +consented, but I would not give in, and M. de Schaumburg +pronounced me within my rights. My adversary might have abandoned +the stake and still found himself with a balance to the good, but +avarice rather than pride prevented his doing so. I felt the loss +myself, but what I cared chiefly about was the point of honour. I +still looked fresh, while he resembled a disinterred corpse. As +Madame Saxe urged me strongly to give way, I answered that I felt +deeply grieved at not being able to satisfy such a charming woman, +but that there was a question of honour in the case; +and I was determined not to yield to my antagonist if I sat there +till I fell dead to the ground. + +I had two objects in speaking thus: I wanted to frighten him and +to make him jealous of me. I felt certain that a man in a passion +of jealousy would be quite confused, and I hoped his play would +suffer accordingly, and that I should not have the mortification +of losing a hundred louis to his superior play, though I won the +fifty louis of the wager. + +The fair Madame Saxe gave me a glance of contempt and left us, but +Madame d'Urfe, who believed I was infallible, avenged me by saying +to d'Entragues, in a tone of the profoundest conviction,-- + +"O Lord! I pity you, sir." + +The company did not return after supper, and we were left alone to +our play. We played on all the night, and I observed my +antagonist's face as closely as the cards. He began to lose his +composure, and made mistakes, his cards got mixed up, and his +scoring was wild. I was hardly less done up than he; I felt +myself growing weaker, and I hoped to see him fall to the ground +every moment, as I began to be afraid of being beaten in spite of +the superior strength of my constitution. I had won back my money +by day-break, and I cavilled with him for being away for more than +a quarter of an hour. This quarrel about nothing irritated him, +and roused me up; the difference of our natures produced these +different results, and my stratagem succeeded because it was +impromptu, and could not have been foreseen. In the same way in +war, sudden stratagems succeed. + +At nine o'clock Madame Saxe came in, her lover was losing. + +"Now, sir," she said to me, "you may fairly yield." + +"Madam," said I, "in hope of pleasing you, I will gladly divide +the stakes and rise from the table." + +The tone of exaggerated gallantry with which I pronounced these +words, put d'Entragues into a rage, and he answered sharply that +he would not desist till one of us was dead. + +With a glance at the lady which was meant to be lovelorn, but +which must have been extremely languid in my exhausted state, +I said,-- + +"You see, Madam, that I am not the more obstinate of the two." + +A dish of soup was served to us, but d'Entragues, who was in the +last stage of exhaustion, had no sooner swallowed the soup than he +fell from his chair in a dead faint. He was soon taken up, and +after I had given six louis to the marker who had been watching +for forty-eight hours, I pocketed the gold, and went to the +apothecary's where I took a mild emetic. Afterwards I went to bed +and slept for a few hours, and at three o'clock I made an +excellent dinner. + +D'Entragues remained in his room till the next day. I expected a +quarrel, but the night brings counsel, and I made a mistake. As +soon as he saw me he ran up to me and embraced me, saying,-- + +"I made a silly bet, but you have given me a lesson which will +last me all my days, and I am much obliged to you for it." + +"I am delighted to hear it, provided that your health has not +suffered." + +"No, I am quite well, but we will play no more together." + +"Well, I hope we shan't play against each other any more." + +In the course of eight or ten days I took Madame d'Urfe and the +pretended Lascaris to Bale. We put up at the inn of the famous +Imhoff, who swindled us, but, all the same, the "Three Kings" is +the best inn in the town. I think I have noted that noon at Bale +is at eleven o'clock--an absurdity due to some historic event, +which I had explained to me but have forgotten. The inhabitants +are said to be subject to a kind of madness, of which they are +cured by taking the waters of Sulzbach; but they 'get it again as +soon as they return. + +We should have stayed at Bale some time, if it had not been for an +incident which made me hasten our departure. It was as follows: + +My necessities had obliged me to forgive the Corticelli to a +certain extent, and when I came home early I spent the night with +her; but when I came home late, as often happened, I slept in my +own room. The little hussy, in the latter case, slept also alone +in a room next to her mother's, through whose chamber one had to +pass to get to the daughter's. + +One night I came in at one o'clock, and not feeling inclined to +sleep, I took a candle and went in search of my charmer. I was +rather surprised to find Signora Laura's door half open, and just +as I was going in the old woman came forward and took me by the +arm, begging me not to go into her daughter's room. + +"Why?" said I. + +"She has been very poorly all the evening, and she is in need of +sleep." + +"Very good; then I will sleep too." + +So saying I pushed the mother to one side, and entering the girl's +room I found her in bed with someone who was hiding under the +sheets. + +I 'gazed at the picture for a moment and then began to laugh, and +sitting down on the bed begged to enquire the name of the happy +individual whom I should have the pleasure of throwing out of the +window. On a chair I saw the coat, trousers, hat, and cane of the +gentleman; but as I had my two trusty pistols about me I knew I +had nothing to fear; however, I did not want to make a noise. + +With tears in her eyes, and trembling all over, the girl took my +hand and begged me to forgive her. + +"It's a young lord," said she, "and I don't even know his name." + +"Oh, he is a young lord, is he? and you don't know his name, you +little hussy, don't you? Well, he will tell me himself." + +So saying, I took a pistol and vigorously stripped the sheets off +the cuckoo who had got into my nest. I saw the face of a young +man whom I did not know, his head covered with a nightcap, but the +rest perfectly naked, as indeed was my mistress. He turned his +back to me to get his shirt which he had thrown on the floor, but +seizing him by the arm I held him firmly, with my pistol to his +forehead. + +"Kindly tell me your name, fair sir." + +"I am Count B----, canon of Bale." + +"And do you think you have been performing an ecclesiastical +function here?" + +"No sir, no, and I hope you will forgive me and the lady too, for +I am the only guilty party." + +"I am not asking you whether she is guilty or not." + +"Sir, the countess is perfectly innocent." + +I felt in a good temper, and far from being angry I was strongly +inclined to laugh. I found the picture before me an attractive +one; it was amusing and voluptuous. The sight of the two nudities +on the bed was a truly lascivious one, and I remained +contemplating it in silence for a quarter of an hour, occupied in +resisting a strong temptation to take off my clothes and lie +beside them. The only thing which prevented my yielding to it was +the fear that I might find the canon to be a fool, incapable of +playing the part with dignity. As for the Corticelli, she soon +passed from tears to laughter, and would have done it well, but +if, as I feared, the canon was a blockhead, I should have been +degrading myself. + +I felt certain that neither of them had guessed my thoughts, so I +rose and told the canon to put on his clothes. + +"No one must hear anything more of this," said I, "but you and I +will go to a distance of two hundred paces and burn a little +powder." + +"No, no, sir," cried my gentleman, "you may take me where you +like, and kill me if you please, but I was not meant for a +fighting man." + +"Really?" + +"Yes, sir, and I only became a priest to escape the fatal duty of +duelling." + +"Then you are a coward, and will not object to a good thrashing?" + +"Anything you like, but it would be cruelty, for my love blinded +me. I only came here a quarter of an hour ago, and the countess +and her governess were both asleep." + +"You are a liar." + +"I had only just taken off my shirt when you came, and I have +never seen this angel before." + +"And that's gospel truth," said the Corticelli. + +"Are you aware that you are a couple of impudent scoundrels? And +as for you, master canon, you deserve to be roasted like St. +Laurence." + +In the meanwhile the wretched ecclesiastic had huddled on his +clothes. + +"Follow me, sir," said I, in a tone which froze the marrow of his +bones; and I accordingly took him to my room. + +"What will you do," said I, "if I forgive you and let you go +without putting you to shame?" + +"I will leave in an hour and a half, and you shall never see me +here again; but even if we meet in the future, you will find me +always ready to do you a service." + +"Very good. Begone, and in the future take more precautions in +your amorous adventures." + +After this I went to bed, well pleased with what I had seen and +what I had done, for I now had complete power over the Corticelli. + +In the morning I called on her as soon as I got up, and told her +to pack up her things, forbidding her to leave her room till she +got into the carriage. + +"I shall say I am ill." + +"Just as you please, but nobody will take any notice of you." + +I did not wait for her to make any further objections, but +proceeded to tell the tale of what had passed to Madame d'Urfe, +slightly embroidering the narrative. She laughed heartily, and +enquired of the oracle what must be done with the Lascaris after +her evident pollution by the evil genius disguised as a priest. +The oracle replied that we must set out the next day for Besancon, +whence she would go to Lyons and await me there, while I would +take the countess to Geneva, and thus send her back to her native +country. + +The worthy visionary was enchanted with this arrangement, and saw +in it another proof of the benevolence of Selenis, who would thus +give her an opportunity of seeing young Aranda once more. It was +agreed that I was to rejoin her in the spring of the following +year, to perform the great operation which was to make her be born +a man. She had not the slightest doubts as to the reasonableness +of this performance. + +All was ready, and the next day we started; Madame d'Urfe and I in +the travelling carriage, and the Corticelli, her mother, and the +servants in another conveyance. + +When we got to Besancon Madame d'Urfe left me, and on the next day +I journeyed towards Geneva with the mother and daughter. + +On the way I not only did not speak to my companions, I did not so +much as look at them. I made them have their meals with a servant +from the Franche Comte, whom I had taken on M. de Schaumburg's +recommendation. + +I went to my banker, and asked him to get me a good coachman, who +would take two ladies of my acquaintance to Turin. + +When I got back to the inn I wrote to the Chevalier Raiberti, +sending him a bill of exchange. I warned him that in three or +four days after the receipt of my letter he would be accosted by a +Bolognese dancer and her mother, bearing a letter of commendation. +I begged him to see that they lodged in a respectable house, and +to pay for them on my behalf. I also said that I should be much +obliged if he would contrive that she should dance, even for +nothing, at the carnival, and I begged him to warn her that, if I +heard any tales about her when I came to Turin, our relations +would be at an end. + +The following day a clerk of M. Tronchin's brought a coachman for +me to see. The man said he was ready to start as soon as he had +had his dinner. I confirmed the agreement he had made with the +banker, I summoned the two Corticellis, and said to the coachman, + +"These are the persons you are to drive, and they will pay you +when they reach Turin in safety with their luggage. You are to +take four days and a half for the journey, as is stipulated in the +agreement, of which they have one copy and you another." An hour +after he called to put the luggage in. + +The Corticelli burst into tears, but I was not so cruel as to send +her away without any consolation. Her bad conduct had been +severely enough punished already. I made her dine with me, and as +I gave her the letter for M. Raiberti, and twenty-five Louis for +the journey, I told her what I had written to the gentleman, who +would take good care of them. She asked me for a trunk containing +three dresses and a superb mantle which Madame d'Urfe had given +her before she became mad, but I said that we would talk of that +at Turin. She dared not mention the casket, but continued +weeping; however, she did not move me to pity. I left her much +better off than when I first knew her; she had good clothes, good +linen, jewels, and an exceedingly pretty watch I had given her; +altogether a good deal more than she deserved. + +As she was going I escorted her to the carriage, less for +politeness' sake than to commend her once more to the coachman. +When she was fairly gone I felt as if a load had been taken off my +back, and I went to look up my worthy syndic, whom the reader will +not have forgotten. I had not written to him since I was in +Florence, and I anticipated the pleasure of seeing his surprise, +which was extreme. But after gazing at me for a moment he threw +his arms round my neck, kissed me several times, and said he had +not expected the pleasure of seeing me. + +"How are our sweethearts getting on?" + +"Excellently. They are always talking about you and regretting +your absence; they will go wild with joy when they know you are +here." + +"You must tell them directly, then." + +"I will go and warn them that we shall all sup together this +evening. By the way, M. de Voltaire has given up his house at +Delices to M. de Villars, and has gone to live at Ferney." + +"That makes no difference to me, as I was not thinking of calling +on him this time. I shall be here for two or three weeks, and I +mean to devote my time to you." + +"You are too good." + +"Will you give me writing materials before you go out? I will +write a few letters while you are away." + +He put me in possession of his desk, and I wrote to my late +housekeeper, Madame Lebel, telling her that I was going to spend +three weeks at Geneva, and that if I were sure of seeing her I +would gladly pay a visit to Lausanne. Unfortunately, I also wrote +to the bad Genoese poet, Ascanio Pogomas, or Giaccomo Passano, +whom I had met at Leghorn. I told him to go to Turin and to wait +for me there. At the same time I wrote to M. F----, to whom I had +commended him, asking him to give the poet twelve Louis for the +journey. + +My evil genius made me think of this man, who was an imposing- +looking fellow, and had all the air of a magician, to introduce +him to Madame d'Urfe as a great adept. You will see, dear reader, +in the course of a year whether I had reason to repent of this +fatal inspiration. + +As the syndic and I were on our way to our young friend's house I +saw an elegant English carriage for sale, and I exchanged it for +mine, giving the owner a hundred Louis as well. While the bargain +was going on the uncle of the young theologian who argued so well, +and to whom I had given such pleasant lessons in physiology, came +up to me, embraced me, and asked me to dine with him the next day. + +Before we got to the house the syndic informed me that we should +find another extremely pretty but uninitiated girl present. + +"All the better," said I, "I shall know how to regulate my +conduct, and perhaps I may succeed in initiating her." + +In my pocket I had placed a casket containing a dozen exquisite +rings. I had long been aware that such trifling presents are +often very serviceable. + +The moment of meeting those charming girls once more was one of +the happiest I have ever enjoyed. In their greeting I read +delight and love of pleasure. Their love was without envy or +jealousy, or any ideas which would have injured their self-esteem. +They felt worthy of my regard, as they had lavished their favours +on me without any degrading feelings, and drawn by the same +emotion that had drawn me. + +The presence of the neophyte obliged us to greet each other with +what is called decency, and she allowed me to kiss her without +raising her eyes, but blushing violently. + +After the usual commonplaces had passed and we had indulged in +some double meanings which made us laugh and her look thoughtful, +I told her she was pretty as a little love, and that I felt sure +that her mind, as beautiful as its casket, could harbour no +prejudices. + +"I have all the prejudices which honour and religion suggest," she +modestly replied. + +I saw that this was a case requiring very delicate treatment. +There was no question of carrying the citadel by sudden assault. +But, as usual, I fell in love with her. + +The syndic having pronounced my name, she said,-- + +"Ah! then, you, sir, are the person who discussed some very +singular questions with my cousin, the pastor's niece. I am +delighted to make your acquaintance." + +"I am equally pleased to make yours, but I hope the pastor's niece +said nothing against me." + +"Not at all; she has a very high opinion of you." + +"I am going to dine with her to-morrow, and I shall take care to +thank her." + +"To-morrow! I should like to be there, for I enjoy philosophical +discussions though I never dare to put a word in." + +The syndic praised her discretion and wisdom in such a manner that +I was convinced he was in love with her, and that he had either +seduced her or was trying to do so. Her name was Helen. I asked +the young ladies if Helen was their sister. The eldest replied, +with a sly smile, that she was a sister, but as yet she had no +brother; and with this explanation she ran up to Helen and kissed +her. Then the syndic and I vied with each other in paying her +compliments, telling her that we hoped to be her brothers. She +blushed, but gave no answer to our gallantries. I then drew forth +my casket, and seeing that all the girls were enchanted with the +rings, I told them to choose which ones they liked best. The +charming Helen imitated their example, and repaid me with a modest +kiss. Soon after she left us, and we were once more free, as in +old times. + +The syndic had good cause to shew for his love of Helen. She was +not merely pleasing, she was made to inspire a violent passion. +However, the three friends had no hope of making her join in their +pleasures, for they said that she had invincible feelings of +modesty where men were concerned. + +We supped merrily, and after supper we began our sports again, the +syndic remaining as usual a mere looker-on, and well pleased with +his part. I treated each of the three nymphs to two courses, +deceiving them whenever I was forced by nature to do so. At +midnight we broke up, and the worthy syndic escorted me to the +door of my lodging. + +The day following I went to the pastor's and found a numerous +party assembled, amongst others M. d'Harcourt and M. de Ximenes, +who told me that M. de Voltaire knew that I was at Geneva and +hoped to see me. I replied by a profound bow. Mdlle. Hedvig, the +pastor's niece, complimented me, but I was still better pleased to +see her cousin Helen. The theologian of twenty-two was fair and +pleasant to the eyes, but she had not that 'je ne sais quoi', that +shade of bitter-sweet, which adds zest to hope as well as +pleasure. However, the evident friendship between Hedvig and +Helen gave me good hopes of success with the latter. + +We had an excellent dinner, and while it lasted the conversation +was restricted to ordinary topics; but at dessert the pastor +begged M. de Ximenes to ask his niece some questions. Knowing his +worldwide reputation, I expected him to put her some problem in +geometry, but he only asked whether a lie could be justified on +the principle of a mental reservation. + +Hedvig replied that there are cases in which a lie is necessary, +but that the principle of a mental reservation is always a cheat. + +"Then how could Christ have said that the time in which the world +was to come to an end was unknown to Him?" + +"He was speaking the truth; it was not known to Him." + +"Then he was not God?" + +"That is a false deduction, for since God may do all things, He +may certainly be ignorant of an event in futurity." + +I thought the way in which she brought in the word "futurity" +almost sublime. Hedvig was loudly applauded, and her uncle went +all round the table to kiss her. I had a very natural objection +on the tip of my tongue, which she might have found difficult to +answer, but I wanted to get into her good graces and I kept my own +counsel. + +M. d'Harcourt was urged to ask her some questions, but he replied +in the words of Horace, 'Nulla mihi religio est'. Then Hedvig +turned to me and asked me to put her some hard question, +"something difficult, which you don't know yourself." + +"I shall be delighted. Do you grant that a god possesses in a +supreme degree the qualities of man?" + +"Yes, excepting man's weaknesses." + +"Do you class the generative power as a weakness?" + +"No." + +"Will you tell me, then, of what nature would have been the +offspring of a union between a god and a mortal woman?" + +Hedvig looked as red as fire. + +The pastor and the other guests looked at each other, while I +gazed fixedly at the young theologian, who was reflecting. M. +d'Harcourt said that we should have to send for Voltaire to settle +a question so difficult, but as Hedvig had collected her thoughts +and seemed ready to speak everybody was silent. + +"It would be absurd," said she, "to suppose that a deity could +perform such an action without its having any results. At the end +of nine months a woman would be delivered a male child, which +would be three parts man and one part god." + +At these words all the guests applauded, M. de Ximenes expressed +his admiration of the way the question had been solved, adding,-- + +"Naturally, if the son of the woman married, his children would be +seven-eighths men and one-eighth gods." + +"Yes," said I, "unless he married a goddess, which would have made +the proportion different." + +"Tell me exactly," said Hedvig, "what proportion of divinity there +would be in a child of the sixteenth generation." + +"Give me a pencil and I will soon tell you," said M. de Ximenes. + +"There is no need to calculate it," said I; "the child would have +some small share of the wit which you enjoy." + +Everybody applauded this gallant speech, which did not by any +means offend the lady to whom it was addressed. + +This pretty blonde was chiefly desirable for the charms of her +intellect. We rose from the table and made a circle round her, +but she told us with much grace not to pay her any more +compliments. + +I took Helen aside, and told her to get her cousin to choose a +ring from my casket, which I gave her, and she seemed glad to +execute the commission. A quarter of an hour afterwards Hedvig +came to shew me her hand adorned with the ring she had chosen. I +kissed it rapturously, and she must have guessed from the warmth +of my kisses with what feelings she had inspired me. + +In the evening Helen told the syndic and the three girls all about +the morning's discussion without leaving out the smallest detail. +She told the story with ease and grace, and I had no occasion to +prompt her. We begged her to stay to supper, but she whispered +something to the three friends, and they agreed that it was +impossible; but she said that she might spend a couple of days +with them in their country house on the lake, if they would ask +her mother. + +At the syndic's request the girls called on the mother the next +day, and the day after that they went off with Helen. The same +evening we went and supped with them, but we could not sleep +there. The syndic was to take me to a house at a short distance +off, where we should be very comfortable. This being the case +there was no hurry, and the eldest girl said that the syndic and I +could leave whenever we liked, but that they were going to bed. +So saying she took Helen to her room, while the two others slept +in another room. Soon after the syndic went into the room where +Helen was, and I visited the two others. + +I had scarcely been with my two sweethearts for an hour when the +syndic interrupted my erotic exploits by begging me to go. + +"What have you done with Helen?" I asked. + +"Nothing; she's a simpleton, and an intractable one. She hid +under the sheets and would not look at my performance with her +friend." + +"You ought to go to her direct." + +"I have done so, but she repulsed me again and again. I have +given it up, and shall not try it again, unless you will tame her +for me." + +"How is it to be done?" + +"Come to dinner to-morrow. I shall be away at Geneva. I shall be +back by supper-time. I wish we could give her too much to drink!" + +"That would be a pity. Let me see what I can do." + +I accordingly went to dine with them by myself the next day, and +they entertained me in all the force of the word. After dinner we +went for a walk, and the three friends understanding my aims left +me alone with the intractable girl, who resisted my caresses in a +manner which almost made me give up the hope of taming her. + +"The syndic," said I, "is in love with you, and last night . . . + +"Last night," she said, "he amused himself with his old friend. I +am for everyone's following their own tastes, but I expect to be +allowed to follow mine." + +"If I could gain your heart I should be happy." + +"Why don't you invite the pastor and my cousin to dine with you? +I could come too, for the pastor makes much of everyone who loves +his niece." + +"I am glad to hear that. Has she a lover?" + +"No." + +"I can scarcely believe it. She is young, pretty, agreeable, and +very clever." + +"You don't understand Genevan ways. It is because she is so +clever that no young man falls in love with her. Those who might +be attracted by her personal charms hold themselves aloof on +account of her intellectual capacities, as they would have to sit +in silence before her." + +"Are the young Genevans so ignorant, then?" + +"As a rule they are. Some of them have received excellent +educations, but in a general way they are full of prejudice. +Nobody wishes to be considered a fool or a blockhead, but clever +women are not appreciated; and if a girl is witty or well educated +she endeavors to hide her lights, at least if she desires to be +married." + +"Ah! now I see why you did not open your lips during our +discussion." + +"No, I know I have nothing to hide. This was not the motive which +made me keep silence, but the pleasure of listening. I admired my +cousin, who was not afraid to display her learning on a subject +which any other girl would have affected to know nothing about." + +"Yes, affected, though she might very probably know as much as her +grandmother." + +"That's a matter of morals, or rather of prejudices." + +"Your reasoning is admirable, and I am already longing for the +party you so cleverly suggested:" + +"You will have the pleasure of being with my cousin." + +"I do her justice. Hedvig is certainly a very interesting and +agreeable girl, but believe me it is your presence that will +constitute my chief enjoyment." + +"And how if I do not believe you?" + +"You would wrong me and give me pain, for I love you dearly." + +"In spite of that you have deceived me. I am sure that you have +given marks of your affection to those three young ladies. For my +part I pity them." + +"Why?" + +"Because neither of them can flatter herself that you love her, +and her alone." + +"And do you think that your delicacy of feeling makes you happier +than they are?" + +"Yes, I think so though of course, I have no experience in the +matter. Tell me truly, do you think I am right?" + +"Yes, I do." + +"I am delighted to hear it; but you must confess that to associate +me with them in your attentions would not be giving me the +greatest possible proof of your love." + +"Yes, I do confess it, and I beg your pardon. But tell me how I +should set to work to ask the pastor to dinner." + +"There will be no difficulty. Just call on him and ask him to +come, and if you wish me to be of the party beg him to ask my +mother and myself." + +"Why your mother?" + +"Because he has been in love with her these twenty years, and +loves her still." + +"And where shall I give this dinner?" + +"Is not M. Tronchin your banker?" + +"Yes." + +"He has a nice pleasure house on the lake; ask him to lend it you +for the day; he will be delighted to do so. But don't tell the +syndic or his three friends anything about it; they can hear of it +afterwards." + +"But do you think your learned cousin will be glad to be in my +company?" + +"More than glad, you may be sure." + +"Very good, everything will be arranged by tomorrow. The day +after, you will be returning to Geneva, and the party will take +place two or three days later." + +The syndic came back in due course, and we had a very pleasant +evening. After supper the ladies went to bed as before, and I +went with the eldest girl while the syndic visited the two younger +ones. I knew that it would be of no use to try to do anything +with Helen, so I contented myself with a few kisses, after which I +wished them good night and passed on to the next room. I found +them in a deep sleep, and the syndic seemed visibly bored. He did +not look more cheerful when I told him that I had had no success +with Helen. + +"I see," said he, "that I shall waste my time with the little +fool. I think I shall give her up." + +"I think that's the best thing you could do," I replied, "for a +man who languishes after a woman who is either devoid of feeling +or full of caprice, makes himself her dupe. Bliss should be +neither too easy nor too hard to be won." + +The next day we returned to Geneva, and M. Tronchin seemed +delighted to oblige me. The pastor accepted my invitation, and +said I was sure to be charmed with Helen's mother. It was easy to +see that the worthy man cherished a tenderness for her, and if she +responded at all it would be all the better for my purposes. + +I was thinking of supping with the charming Helen and her three +friends at the house on the lake, but an express summoned me to +Lausanne. Madame Lebel, my old housekeeper, invited me to sup +with her and her husband. She wrote that she had made her husband +promise to take her to Lausanne as soon as she got my letter, and +she added she was sure that I would resign everything to give her +the pleasure of seeing me. She notified the hour at which she +would be at her mother's house. + +Madame Lebel was one of the ten or twelve women for whom in my +happy youth I cherished the greatest affection. She had all the +qualities to make a man a good wife, if it had been my fate to +experience such felicity. But perhaps I did well not to tie +myself down with irrevocable bonds, though now my independence is +another name for slavery. But if I had married a woman of tact, +who would have ruled me unawares to myself, I should have taken +care of my fortune and have had children, instead of being lonely +and penniless in my old age. + +But I must indulge no longer in digressions on the past which +cannot be recalled, and since my recollections make me happy I +should be foolish to cherish idle regrets. + +I calculated that if I started directly I should get to Lausanne +an hour before Madame Lebel, and I did not hesitate to give her +this proof of my regard. I must here warn my readers, that, +though I loved this woman well, I was then occupied with another +passion, and no voluptuous thought mingled with my desire of +seeing her. My esteem for her was enough to hold my passions in +check, but I esteemed Lebel too, and nothing would have induced me +to disturb the happiness of this married pair. + +I wrote in haste to the syndic, telling him that an important and +sudden call obliged me to start for Lausanne, but that I should +have the pleasure of supping with him and his three friends at +Geneva on the following day. + +I knocked at Madame Dubois's door at five o'clock, almost dying +with hunger. Her surprise was extreme, for she did not know that +her daughter was going to meet me at her house. Without more ado +I gave her two louis to get us a good supper. + +At seven o'clock, Madame Lebel, her husband, and a child of +eighteen months, whom I easily recognized as my own, arrived. Our +meeting was a happy one indeed; we spent ten hours at table, and +mirth and joy prevailed. At day-break she started for Soleure, +where Lebel had business. M. de Chavigni had desired to be +remembered most affectionately to me. Lebel assured me that the +ambassador was extremely kind to his wife, and he thanked me +heartily for having given such a woman up to him. I could easily +see that he was a happy husband, and that his wife was as happy as +he. + +My dear housekeeper talked to me about my son. She said that +nobody suspected the truth, but that neither she nor Lebel (who +had faithfully kept his promise, and had not consummated the +marriage for the two months agreed upon) had any doubts. + +"The secret," said Lebel to me, "will never be known, and your son +will be my sole heir, or will share my property with my children +if I ever have any, which I doubt." + +"My dear," said his wife, "there is somebody who has very strong +suspicions on the subject, and these suspicions will gain strength +as the child grows older; but we have nothing to fear on that +score, as she is well paid to keep the secret." + +"And who is this person?" said I. + +"Madame ----. She has not forgotten the past, and often speaks of +you." + +"Will you kindly remember me to her?" + +"I shall be delighted to do so, and I am sure the message will +give her great pleasure." + +Lebel shewed me my ring, and I shewed him his, and gave him a +superb watch for my son. + +"You must give it him," I said, "when you think he is old enough." + +We shall hear of the young gentleman in twenty-one years at +Fontainebleau. + +I passed three hours in telling them of all the adventures I had +during the twenty-seven months since we had seen one another. As +to their history, it was soon told; it had all the calm which +belongs to happiness. + +Madame Lebel was as pretty as ever, and I could see no change in +her, but I was no longer the same man. She thought me less lively +than of old, and she was right. The Renaud had blasted me, and +the pretended Lascaris had given me a great deal of trouble and +anxiety. + +We embraced each other tenderly, and the wedded pair returned to +Soleure and I to Geneva; but feeling that I wanted rest I wrote to +the syndic that I was not well and could not come till the next +day, and after I had done so I went to bed. + +The next day, the eve of my dinner party, I ordered a repast in +which no expense was to be spared. I did not forget to tell the +landlord to get me the best wines, the choicest liqueurs, ices, +and all the materials for a bowl of punch. I told him that we +should be six in number, for I foresaw that M. Tronchin would dine +with us. I was right; I found him at his pretty house ready to +receive us, and I had not much trouble in inducing him to stay. +In the evening I thought it as well to tell the syndic and his +three friends about it in Helen's presence, while she, feigning +ignorance, said that her mother had told her they were going +somewhere or other to dinner. + +"I am delighted to hear it," said I; "it must be at +M. Tronchin's." + +My dinner would have satisfied the most exacting gourmet, but +Hedvig was its real charm. She treated difficult theological +questions with so much grace, and rationalised so skilfully, that +though one might not be convinced it was impossible to help being +attracted. I have never seen any theologian who could treat the +most difficult points with so much facility, eloquence, and real +dignity, and at dinner she completed her conquest of myself. M. +Tronchin, who had never heard her speak before, thanked me a +hundred times for having procured him this pleasure, and being +obliged to leave us by the call of business he asked us to meet +again in two days' time. + +I was much interested during the dessert by the evident tenderness +of the pastor for Helen's mother. His amorous eloquence grew in +strength as he irrigated his throat with champagne, Greek wine, +and eastern liqueurs. The lady seemed pleased, and was a match +for him as far as drinking was concerned, while the two girls and +myself only drank with sobriety. However, the mixture of wines, +and above all the punch, had done their work, and my charmers were +slightly elevated. Their spirits were delightful, but rather +pronounced. + +I took this favourable opportunity to ask the two aged lovers if I +might take the young ladies for a walk in the garden by the lake, +and they told us enthusiastically to go and enjoy ourselves. We +went out arm in arm, and in a few minutes we were out of sight of +everyone. + +"Do you know," said I to Hedvig, "that you have made a conquest of +M. Tronchin?" + +"Have I? The worthy banker asked me some very silly questions." + +"You must not expect everyone to be able to contend with you." + +"I can't help telling you that your question pleased me best of +all. A bigoted theologian at the end of the table seemed +scandalized at the question and still more at the answer." + +"And why?" + +"He says I ought to have told you that a deity could not +impregnate a woman. He said that he would explain the reason to +me if I were a man, but being a woman and a maid he could not with +propriety expound such mysteries. I wish you would tell me what +the fool meant." + +"I should be very glad, but you must allow me to speak plainly, +and I shall have to take for granted that you are acquainted with +the physical conformation of a man." + +"Yes, speak as plainly as you like, for there is nobody to hear +what we say; but I must confess that I am only acquainted with the +peculiarities of the male by theory and reading. I have no +practical knowledge. I have seen statues, but I have never seen +or examined a real live man. Have you, Helen?" + +"I have never wished to do so." + +"Why not? It is good to know everything." + +"Well, Hedvig, your theologian meant to say that a god was not +capable of this." + +"What is that?" + +"Give me your hand." + +"I can feel it, and have thought it would be something like that; +without this provision of nature man would not be able to +fecundate his mate. And how could the foolish theologian maintain +that this was an imperfection?" + +"Because it is the result of desire, Hedvig, and it would not have +taken place in me if I had not been charmed with you, and if I had +not conceived the most seducing ideas of the beauties that I +cannot see from the view of the beauties I can see. Tell me +frankly whether feeling that did not give you an agreeable +sensation." + +"It did, and just in the place where your hand is now. Don't you +feel a pleasant tickling there, Helen, after what the gentleman +has been saying to us?" + +"Yes, I feel it, but I often do, without anything to excite me." + +"And then," said I, "nature makes you appease it . . . thus?" + +"Not at all." + +"Oh, yes!" said Hedvig. "Even when we are asleep our hands seek +that spot as if by instinct, and if it were not for that solace I +think we should get terribly ill." + +As this philosophical discourse, conducted by the young theologian +in quite a professional manner, proceeded, we reached a beautiful +basin of water, with a flight of marble steps for bathers. +Although the air was cool our heads were hot, and I conceived the +idea of telling them that it would do them good to bathe their feet, +and that if they would allow me I would take off their shoes and +stockings. + +"I should like to so much," said Hedvig. + +"And I too," said Helen. + +"Then sit down, ladies, on the first step." + +They proceeded to sit down and I began to take off their shoes, +praising the beauty of their legs, and pretending for the present +not to want to go farther than the knee. When they got into the +water they were obliged to pick up their clothes, and I encouraged +them to do so. + +"Well, well," said Hedvig, "men have thighs too." + +Helen, who would have been ashamed to be beaten by her cousin, was +not backward in shewing her legs. + +"That will do, charming maids," said I, "you might catch cold if +you stayed longer in the water." + +They walked up backwards, still holding up their clothes for fear +of wetting them, and it was then my duty to wipe them dry with all +the handkerchiefs I had. This pleasant task left me at freedom to +touch and see, and the reader will imagine that I did my best in +that direction. The fair theologian told me I wanted to know too +much, but Helen let me do what I liked with such a tender and +affectionate expression that it was as much as I could do to keep +within bounds. At last, when I had drawn on their shoes and +stockings, I told them that I was delighted to have seen the +hidden charms of the two prettiest girls in Geneva. + +"What effect had it on you?" asked Hedvig. + +"I daren't tell you to look, but feel, both of you." + +"Do you bathe, too." + +"It's out of the question, a man's undressing takes so much +trouble." + +"But we have still two hours before us, in which we need not fear +any interruption." + +This reply gave me a foretaste of the bliss I had to gain, but I +did not wish to expose myself to an illness by going into the +water in my present state. I noticed a summer-house at a little +distance, and feeling sure that M. Tronchin had left the door +open, I took the two girls on my arm and led them there without +giving them any hint of my intentions. The summer-house was +scented with vases of pot-pourri and adorned with engravings; but, +best of all, there was a large couch which seemed made for repose +and pleasure. I sat down on it between my two sweethearts, and as +I caressed them I told them I was going to shew them something +they had never seen before, and without more ado I displayed to +their gaze the principal agent in the preservation of the human +race. They got up to admire it, and taking a hand of each one I +procured them some enjoyment, but in the middle of their labours +an abundant flow of liquid threw them into the greatest +astonishment. + +"That," said I, "is the Word which makes men." + +"It's beautiful!" cried Helen, laughing at the term "word." + +"I have a word too," said Hedvig, "and I will shew it to you if +you will wait a minute." + +"Come, Hedvig, and I will save you the trouble of making it +yourself, and will do it better." + +"I daresay, but I have never done it with a man." + +"No more have I," said Helen. + +Placing them in front of me I gave them another ecstacy. We then +sat down, and while I felt all their charms I let them touch me as +much as they liked till I watered their hands a second time. + +We made ourselves decent once more, and spent half an hour in +kisses and caresses, and I then told them that they had made me +happy only in part, but that I hoped they would make my bliss +complete by presenting me with their maidenheads. I shewed them +the little safety-bags invented by the English in the interests of +the fair sex. They admired them greatly when I explained their +use, and the fair theologian remarked to her cousin that she would +think it over. We were now close friends, and soon promised to be +something more; and we walked back and found the pastor and +Helen's mother strolling by the side of the lake. + +When I got back to Geneva I went to spend the evening with the +three friends, but I took good care not to tell the syndic +anything about my victory with Helen. It would only have served +to renew his hopes, and he would have had this trouble for +nothing. Even I would have done no good without the young +theologian; but as Helen admired her she did not like to appear +her inferior by refusing to imitate her freedom. + +I did not see Helen that evening, but I saw her the next day at +her mother's house, for I was in mere politeness bound to thank +the old lady for the honour she had done me. She gave me a most +friendly reception, and introduced me to two very pretty girls who +were boarding with her. They might have interested me if I had +been stopping long in Geneva, but as if was Helen claimed all my +attraction. + +"To-morrow," said the charming girl, "I shall be able to get a +word with you at Madame Tronchin's dinner, and I expect Hedvig +will have hit on some way for you to satisfy your desires." + +The banker gave us an excellent dinner. He proudly told me that +no inn-keeper could give such a good dinner as a rich gentleman +who has a good cook, a good cellar, good silver plate, and china +of the best quality. We were twenty of us at table, and the feast +was given chiefly in honour of the learned theologian and myself, +as a rich foreigner who spent money freely. M. de Ximenes, who +had just arrived from Ferney was there, and told me that M. de +Voltaire was expecting me, but I had foolishly determined not to go. + +Hedvig shone in solving the questions put to her by the company. +M. de Ximenes begged her to justify as best she could our first +mother, who had deceived her husband by giving him the fatal apple +to eat. + +"Eve," she said, "did not deceive her husband, she only cajoled +him into eating it in the hope of giving him one more perfection. +Besides Eve had not been forbidden to eat the fruit by God, but +only by Adam, and in all probability her woman's sense prevented +her regarding the prohibition as serious." + +At this reply, which I found full of sense and wit, two scholars +from Geneva and even Hedvig's uncle began to murmur and shake +their heads. Madame Tronchin said gravely that Eve had received +the prohibition from God himself, but the girl only answered by a +humble "I beg your pardon, madam." At this she turned to the +pastor with a frightened manner, and said,-- + +"What do you say to this?" + +"Madam, my niece is not infallible." + +"Excuse me, dear uncle, I am as infallible as Holy Writ when I +speak according to it." + +"Bring a Bible, and let me see." + +"Hedvig, my dear Hedvig, you are right after all. Here it is. +The prohibition was given before woman was made." + +Everybody applauded, but Hedvig remained quite calm; it was only +the two scholars and Madame Tronchin who still seemed disturbed. +Another lady then asked her if it was allowable to believe the +history of the apple to be symbolical. She replied,-- + +"I do not think so, because it could only be a symbol of sexual +union, and it is clear that such did not take place between Adam +and Eve in the Garden of Eden." + +"The learned differ on this point." + +"All the worse for them, madam, the Scripture is plain enough. In +the first verse of the fourth chapter it is written, that Adam +knew his wife after they had been driven from the Garden, and that +in consequence she conceived Cain." + +"Yes, but the verse does not say that Adam did not know her before +and consequently he might have done so." + +"I cannot admit the inference, as in that case she would have +conceived; for it would be absurd to suppose that two creatures +who had just left God's hands, and were consequently as nearly +perfect as is possible, could perform the act of generation +without its having any result." + +This reply gained everyone's applause, and compliments to Hedvig +made the round of the table. + +Mr. Tronchin asked her if the doctrine of the immortality of the +soul could be gathered from the Old Testament alone. + +"The Old Testament," she replied, "does not teach this doctrine; +but, nevertheless, human reason teaches it, as the soul is a +substance, and the destruction of any substance is an unthinkable +proposition." + +"Then I will ask you," said the banker, "if the existence of the +soul is established in the Bible." + +"Where there is smoke there is always fire." + +"Tell me, then, if matter can think." + +"I cannot answer that question, for it is beyond my knowledge. I +can only say that as I believe God to be all powerful, I cannot +deny Him the power to make matter capable of thought." + +"But what is your own opinion?" + +"I believe that I have a soul endowed with thinking capacities, +but I do not know whether I shall remember that I had the honour +of dining with you to-day after I die." + +"Then you think that the soul and the memory may be separable; but +in that case you would not be a theologian." + +"One may be a theologian and a philosopher, for philosophy never +contradicts any truth, and besides, to say 'I do not know' is not +the same as 'I am sure'" + +Three parts of the guests burst into cries of admiration, and the +fair philosopher enjoyed seeing me laugh for pleasure at the +applause. The pastor wept for joy, and whispered something to +Helen's mother. All at once he turned to me, saying,-- + +"Ask my niece some question." + +"Yes," said Hedvig, "but it must be something quite new." + +"That is a hard task," I replied, "for how am I to know that what +I ask is new to you? However, tell me if one must stop at the +first principle of a thing one wants to understand." + +"Certainly, and the reason is that in God there is no first +principle, and He is therefore incomprehensible." + +"God be praised! that is how I would have you answer. Can God +have any self-consciousness?" + +"There my learning is baffled. I know not what to reply. You +should not ask me so hard a thing as that." + +"But you wished for something new. I thought the newest thing +would be to see you at a loss." + +"That's prettily said. Be kind enough to reply for me, gentlemen, +and teach me what to say." + +Everybody tried to answer, but nothing was said worthy of record. +Hedvig at last said,-- + +"My opinion is that since God knows all, He knows of His own +existence, but you must not ask me how He knows it." + +"That's well said," I answered; and nobody could throw any further +light on the matter. + +All the company looked on me as a polite Atheist, so superficial +is the judgment of society, but it did not matter to me whether +they thought me an Atheist or not. + +M. de Ximenes asked Hedvig if matter had been created. + +"I cannot recognize the word 'created,'" she replied. "Ask me +whether matter was formed, and I shall reply in the affirmative. +The word 'created' cannot have existence, for the existence of +anything must be prior to the word which explains it." + +"Then what meaning do you assign to the word 'created'?" + +"Made out of nothing. You see the absurdity, for nothing must +have first existed. I am glad to see you laugh. Do you think +that nothingness could be created?" + +"You are right." + +"Not at all, not at all," said one of the guests, superciliously. + +"Kindly tell me who was your teacher?" said M. de Ximenes. + +"My uncle there." + +"Not at all, my dear niece. I certainly never taught you what you +have been telling us to-day. But my niece, gentlemen, reads and +reflects over what she has read, perhaps with rather too much +freedom, but I love her all the same, because she always ends by +acknowledging that she knows nothing." + +A lady who had not opened her lips hitherto asked Hedvig for a +definition of spirit. + +"Your question is a purely philosophical one, and I must answer +that I do not know enough of spirit or matter to be able to give a +satisfactory definition." + +"But since you acknowledge the existence of Deity and must +therefore have an abstract idea of spirit, you must have some +notions on the subject, and should be able to tell me how it acts +on matter." + +"No solid foundation can be built on abstract ideas. Hobbes calls +such ideas mere fantasms. One may have them, but if one begins to +reason on them, one is landed in contradiction. I know that God +sees me, but I should labour in vain if I endeavoured to prove it +by reasoning, for reason tells us no one can see anything without +organs of sight; and God being a pure spirit, and therefore +without organs, it is scientifically impossible that He can see us +any more than we can see Him. But Moses and several others have +seen Him, and I believe it so, without attempting to reason on +it." + +"You are quite right," said I, "for you would be confronted by +blank impossibility. But if you take to reading Hobbes you are in +danger of becoming an Atheist." + +"I am not afraid of that. I cannot conceive the possibility of +Atheism." + +After dinner everybody crowded round this truly astonishing girl, +so that I had no opportunity of whispering my love. However, I +went apart with Helen, who told me that the pastor and his niece +were going to sup with her mother the following day. + +"Hedvig," she added, "will stay the night and sleep with me as she +always does when she comes to supper with her uncle. It remains +to be seen if you are willing to hide in a place I will shew you +at eleven o'clock tomorrow, in order to sleep with us. Call on my +mother at that hour to-morrow, and I will find an opportunity of +shewing you where it is. You will be safe though not comfortable, +and if you grow weary you can console yourself by thinking that +you are in our minds." + +"Shall I have to stay there long?" + +"Four hours at the most. At seven o'clock the street door is +shut, and only opened to anyone who rings." + +"If I happen to cough while I am in hiding might I be heard?" + +"Yes, that might happen." + +"There's a great hazard. All the rest is of no consequence; but +no matter, I will risk all for the sake of so great happiness." + +In the morning I paid the mother a visit, and as Helen was +escorting me out she shewed me a door between the two stairs. + +"At seven o'clock," said she, "the door will be open, and when you +are in put on the bolt. Take care that no one sees you as you are +entering the house." + +At a quarter to seven I was already a prisoner. I found a seat in +my cell, otherwise I should neither have been able to lie down or +to stand up. It was a regular hole, and I knew by my sense of +smell that hams and cheeses were usually kept there; but it +contained none at present, for I fell all round to see how the +land lay. As I was cautiously stepping round I felt my foot +encounter some resistance, and putting down my hand I recognized +the feel of linen. It was a napkin containing two plates, a nice +roast fowl, bread, and a second napkin. Searching again I came +across a bottle and a glass. I was grateful to my charmers for +having thought of my stomach, but as I had purposely made a late +and heavy meal I determined to defer the consumption of my cold +collation till a later hour. + +At nine o'clock I began, and as I had neither a knife nor a +corkscrew I was obliged to break the neck of the bottle with a +brick which I was fortunately able to detach from the mouldering +floor. The wine was delicious old Neuchatel, and the fowl was +stuffed with truffles, and I felt convinced that my two nymphs +must have some rudimentary ideas on the subject of stimulants. I +should have passed the time pleasantly enough if it had not been +for the occasional visits of a rat, who nearly made me sick with +his disgusting odour. I remembered that I had been annoyed in the +same way at Cologne under somewhat similar circumstances. + +At last ten o'clock struck, and I heard the pastor's voice as he +came downstairs talking; he warned the girls not to play any +tricks together, and to go to sleep quietly. That brought back to +my memory M. Rose leaving Madame Orio's house at Venice twenty-two +years before; and reflecting on my character I found myself much +changed, though not more reasonable; but if I was not so sensible +to the charms of the sex, the two beauties who were awaiting me +were much superior to Madame Orio's nieces. + +In my long and profligate career in which I have turned the heads +of some hundreds of ladies, I have become familiar with all the +methods of seduction; but my guiding principle has been never to +direct my attack against novices or those whose prejudices were +likely to prove an obstacle except in the presence of another +woman. I soon found out that timidity makes a girl averse to +being seduced, while in company with another girl she is easily +conquered; the weakness of the one brings on the fall of the +other. Fathers and mothers are of the contrary opinion, but they +are in the wrong. They will not trust their daughter to take a +walk or go to a ball with a young man, but if she has another girl +with her there is no difficulty made. I repeat, they are in the +wrong; if the young man has the requisite skill their daughter is +a lost woman. A feeling of false shame hinders them from making +an absolute and determined resistance, and the first step once +taken the rest comes inevitably and quickly. The girl grants some +small favour, and immediately makes her friend grant a much +greater one to hide her own blushes; and if the seducer is clever +at his trade the young innocent will soon have gone too far to be +able to draw back. Besides the more innocence a girl has, the +less she knows of the methods of seduction. Before she has had +time to think, pleasure attracts her, curiosity draws her a little +farther, and opportunity does the rest. + +For example, I might possibly have been able to seduce Hedvig +without Helen, but I am certain I should never have succeeded with +Helen if she had not seen her cousin take liberties with me which +she no doubt thought contrary to the feelings of modesty which a +respectable young woman ought to have. + +Though I do not repent of my amorous exploits, I am far from +wishing that my example should serve for the perversion of the +fair sex, who have so many claims on my homage. I desire that +what I say may be a warning to fathers and mothers, and secure me +a place in their esteem at any rate. + +Soon after the pastor had gone I heard three light knocks on my +prison door. I opened it, and my hand was folded in a palm as +soft as satin. All my being was moved. It was Helen's hand, and +that happy moment had already repaid me for my long waiting. + +"Follow me on tiptoe," she whispered, as soon as she had shut the +door; but in my impatience I clasped her in my arms, and made her +feel the effect which her mere presence had produced on me, while +at the same time I assured myself of her docility. "There," she +said, "now come upstairs softly after me." + +I followed her as best I could in the darkness, and she took me +along a gallery into a dark room, and then into a lighted one +which contained Hedvig almost in a state of nudity. She came to +me with open arms as soon as she saw me, and, embracing me +ardently, expressed her gratitude for my long and dreary +imprisonment. + +"Divine Hedvig," I answered, "if I had not loved you madly I would +not have stayed a quarter of an hour in that dismal cell, but I am +ready to spend four hours there every day till I leave Geneva for +your sake. But we must not lose any time; let us go to bed." + +"Do you two go to bed," said Helen; "I will sleep on the sofa." + +"No, no," cried Hedvig, "don't think of it; our fate must be +exactly equal." + +"Yes, darling Helen," said I, embracing her; "I love you both with +equal ardour, and these ceremonies are only wasting the time in +which I ought to be assuring you of my passion. Imitate my +proceedings. I am going to undress, and then I shall lie in the +middle of the bed. Come and lie beside me, and I'll shew you how +I love you. If all is safe I will remain with you till you send +me away, but whatever you do do not put out the light." + +In the twinkling of an eye, discussing the theory of shame the +while with the theological Hedvig, I presented myself to their +gaze in the costume of Adam. Hedvig blushed and parted with the +last shred of her modesty, citing the opinion of St. Clement +Alexandrinus that the seat of shame is in the shirt. I praised +the charming perfection of her shape, in the hope of encouraging +Helen, who was slowly undressing herself; but an accusation of +mock modesty from her cousin had more effect than all my praises. +At last this Venus stood before me in a state of nature, covering +her most secret parts with her hand, and hiding one breast with +the other, and appearing woefully ashamed of what she could not +conceal. Her modest confusion, this strife between departing +modesty and rising passion, enchanted me. + +Hedvig was taller than Helen; her skin was whiter, and her breasts +double the size of Helen's; but in Helen there was more animation, +her shape was more gently moulded, and her breast might have been +the model for the Venus de Medicis. + +She got bolder by degrees, and we spent some moments in admiring +each other, and then we went to bed. Nature spoke out loudly, and +all we wanted was to satisfy its demands. With much coolness I +made a woman of Hedvig, and when all was over she kissed me and +said that the pain was nothing in comparison with the pleasure. + +The turn of Helen (who was six years younger than Hedvig) now +came, but the finest fleece that I have ever seen was not won +without difficulty. She was jealous of her cousin's success, and +held it open with her two hands; and though she had to submit to +great pain before being initiated into the amorous mysteries, her +sighs were sighs of happiness, as she responded to my ardent +efforts. Her great charms and the vivacity of her movements +shortened the sacrifice, and when I left the sanctuary my two +sweethearts saw that I needed repose. + +The alter was purified of the blood of the victims, and we all +washed, delighted to serve one another. + +Life returned to me under their curious fingers, and the sight +filled them with joy. I told them that I wished to enjoy them +every night till I left Geneva, but they told me sadly that this +was impossible. + +"In five or six days time, perhaps, the opportunity may recur +again, but that will be all." + +"Ask us to sup at your inn to-morrow," said Hedvig; "and maybe, +chance will favour the commission of a sweet felony." + +I followed this advice. + +I overwhelmed them with happiness for several hours, passing five +or six times from one to the other before I was exhausted. In the +intervals, seeing them to be docile and desirous, I made them +execute Aretin's most complicated postures, which amused them +beyond words. We kissed whatever took our fancy, and just as +Hedvig applied her lips to the mouth of the pistol, it went off +and the discharge inundated her face and her bosom. She was +delighted, and watched the process to the end with all the +curiosity of a doctor. The night seemed short, though we had not +lost a moment's time, and at daybreak we had to part. I left them +in bed and I was fortunate enough to get away without being +observed. + +I slept till noon, and then having made my toilette I went to call +on the pastor, to whom I praised Hedvig to the skies. This was +the best way to get him to come to supper at Balances the next +day. + +"We shall be in the town," said I, "and can remain together as +long as we please, but do not forget to bring the amiable widow +and her charming daughter." + +He promised he would bring them both. + +In the evening I went to see the syndic and his three friends, who +naturally found me rather insensible to their charms. I excused +myself by saying that I had a bad headache. I told them that I +had asked the young theologian to supper, and invited the girls +and the syndic to come too; but, as I had foreseen, the latter +would not hear of their going as it would give rise to gossip. + +I took care that the most exquisite wines should form an important +feature of my supper. The pastor and the widow were both sturdy +drinkers, and I did my best to please them. When I saw that they +were pretty mellow and were going over their old recollections, I +made a sign to the girls, and they immediately went out as if to +go to a retiring-room. Under pretext of shewing them the way I +went out too, and took them into a room telling them to wait for +me. + +I went back to the supper-room, and finding the old friends taken +up with each other and scarcely conscious of my presence, I gave +them some punch, and told them that I would keep the young ladies +company; they were looking at some pictures, I explained. I lost +no time, and shewed them some extremely interesting sights. These +stolen sweets have a wonderful charm. When we were to some extent +satisfied, we went back, and I plied the punch-ladle more and more +freely. Helen praised the pictures to her mother, and asked her +to come and look at them. + +"I don't care to," she replied. + +"Well," said Helen, "let us go and see them again." + +I thought this stratagem admissible, and going out with my two +sweethearts I worked wonders. Hedvig philosophised over pleasure, +and told me she would never have known it if I had not chanced to +meet her uncle. Helen did not speak; she was more voluptuous than +her cousin, and swelled out like a dove, and came to life only to +expire a moment afterwards. I wondered at her astonishing +fecundity; while I was engaged in one operation she passed from +death to life fourteen times. It is true that it was the sixth +time with me, so I made my progress rather slower to enjoy the +pleasure she took in it. + +Before we parted I agreed to call on Helen's mother every day to +ascertain the night I could spend with them before I left Geneva. +We broke up our party at two o'clock in the morning. + +Three or four days after, Helen told me briefly that Hedvig was to +sleep with her that night, and that she would leave the door open +at the same time as before. + +"I will be there." + +"And I will be there to shut you up, but you cannot have a light +as the servant might see it." + +I was exact to the time, and when ten o'clock struck they came to +fetch me in high glee. + +"I forgot to tell you," said Helen, "that you would find a fowl +there." + +I felt hungry, and made short work of it, and then we gave +ourselves up to happiness. + +I had to set out on my travels in two days. I had received a +couple of letters from M. Raiberti. In the first he told me that +he had followed my instructions as to the Corticelli, and in the +second that she would probably he paid for dancing at the carnival +as first 'figurante'. I had nothing to keep me at Geneva, and +Madame d'Urfe, according to our agreement, would be waiting for me +at Lyons. I was therefore obliged to go there. Thus the night +that I was to pass with my two charmers would be my last. + +My lessons had taken effect, and I found they had become past +mistresses in the art of pleasure. But now and again joy gave +place to sadness. + +"We shall be wretched, sweetheart," said Hedvig, "and if you like +we will come with you." + +"I promise to come and see you before two years have expired," +said I; and in fact they had not so long to wait. + +We fell asleep at midnight, and waking at four renewed our sweet +battles till six o'clock. Half an hour after I left them, worn +out with my exertions, and I remained in bed all day. In the +evening I went to see the syndic and his young friends. I found +Helen there, and she was cunning enough to feign not to be more +vexed at my departure than the others, and to further the +deception she allowed the syndic to kiss her. I followed suit, +and begged her to bid farewell for me to her learned cousin and to +excuse my taking leave of her in person. + +The next day I set out in the early morning, and on the following +day I reached Lyons. Madame d'Urfe was not there, she had gone to +an estate of hers at Bresse. I found a letter in which she said +that she would be delighted to see me, and I waited on her without +losing any time. + +She greeted me with her ordinary cordiality, and I told her that I +was going to Turin to meet Frederic Gualdo, the head of the +Fraternity of the Rosy Cross, and I revealed to her by the oracle +that he would come with me to Marseilles, and that there he would +complete her happiness. After having received this oracle she +would not go to Paris before she saw us. The oracle also bade her +wait for me at Lyons with young d'Aranda; who begged me to take +him with me to Turin. It may be imagined that I succeeded in +putting him off. + +Madame d'Urfe had to wait a fortnight to get me fifty thousand +francs which I might require on my journey. In the course of this +fortnight I made the acquaintance of Madame Pernon, and spent a +good deal of money with her husband, a rich mercer, in +refurnishing my wardrobe. Madame Pernon was handsome and +intelligent. She had a Milanese lover, named Bono, who did +business for a Swiss banker named Sacco. It was through Madame +Peron that Bono got Madame d'Urfe the fifty thousand francs I +required. She also gave me the three dresses which she had +promised to the Countess of Lascaris, but which that lady had +never seen. + +One of these dresses was furred, and was exquisitely beautiful. I +left Lyons equipped like a prince, and journeyed towards Turin, +where I was to meet the famous Gualdo, who was none other than +Ascanio Pogomas, whom I had summoned from Berne. I thought it +would be easy to make the fellow play the part I had destined for +him, but I was cruelly deceived as the reader will see. + +I could not resist stopping at Chamberi to see my fair nun, whom I +found looking beautiful and contented. She was grieving, however, +after the young boarder, who had been taken from the convent and +married. + +I got to Turin at the beginning of December, and at Rivoli I found +the Corticelli, who had been warned by the Chevalier de Raiberti +of my arrival. She gave me a letter from this worthy gentleman, +giving the address of the house he had taken for me as I did not +want to put up at an inn. I immediately went to take possession +of my new lodging. + + + + +CHAPTER XVII + +My Old Friends--Pacienza--Agatha--Count Boryomeo--The Ball +--Lord Percy + + +The Corticelli was as gentle as a lamb, and left me as we got into +Turin. I promised I would come and see her, and immediately went +to the house the Chevalier had taken, which I found convenient in +every way. + +The worthy Chevalier was not long in calling on me. He gave me an +account of the moneys he had spent on the Corticelli, and handed +over the rest to me. + +"I am flush of money," I said, "and I intend to invite my friends +to supper frequently. Can you lay your hands on a good cook?" + +"I know a pearl amongst cooks," said he, "and you can have him +directly." + +"You, chevalier, are the pearl of men. Get me this wonder, tell +him I am hard to please, and agree on the sum I am to pay him per +month." + +The cook, who was an excellent one, came the same evening. + +"It would be a good idea," said Raiberti, "to call on the Count +d'Aglie. He knows that the Corticelli is your mistress, and he +has given a formal order to Madame Pacienza, the lady with whom +she lives, that when you come and see her you are not to be left +alone together." + +This order amused me, and as I did not care about the Corticelli +it did not trouble me in the least, though Raiberti, who thought I +was in love with her, seemed to pity me. + +"Since she has been here," he said, "her conduct has been +irreproachable." + +"I am glad to hear that." + +"You might let her take some lessons from the dancing-master +Dupre," said he. "He will no doubt give her something to do at +the carnival." + +I promised to follow his advice, and I then paid a visit to the +superintendent of police. + +He received me well, complimented me on my return to Turin, and +then added with a smile:-- + +"I warn you that I have been informed that you keep a mistress, +and that I have given strict orders to the respectable woman with +whom she lives not to leave her alone with you." + +"I am glad to hear it," I replied, "and the more as I fear her +mother is not a person of very rigid morals. I advised the +Chevalier Raiberti of my intentions with regard to her, and I am +glad to see that he has carried them out so well. I hope the girl +will shew herself worthy of your protection." + +"Do you think of staying here throughout the carnival?" + +"Yes, if your excellency approves." + +"It depends entirely on your good conduct." + +"A few peccadilloes excepted, my conduct is always above +reproach." + +"There are some peccadilloes we do not tolerate here. Have you +seen the Chevalier Osorio?" + +"I think of calling on him to-day or to-morrow." + +"I hope you will remember me to him." + +He rang his bell, bowed, and the audience was over. + +The Chevalier Osorio received me at his office, and gave me a most +gracious reception. After I had given him an account of my visit +to the superintendent, he asked me, with a smile, if I felt +inclined to submit with docility to not seeing my mistress in +freedom. + +"Certainly," said I, "for I am not in love with her." + +Osorio looked at me slyly, and observed, "Somehow I don't think +your indifference will be very pleasing to the virtuous duenna." + +I understood what he meant, but personally I was delighted not to +be able to see the Corticelli save in the presence of a female +dragon. It would make people talk, and I loved a little scandal, +and felt curious to see what would happen. + +When I returned to my house I found the Genoese Passano, a bad +poet and worse painter, to whom I had intended to give the part of +a Rosicrucian, because there was something in his appearance which +inspired, if not respect, at least awe and a certain feeling of +fear. In point of fact, this was only a natural presentiment that +the man must be either a clever rogue or a morose and sullen +scholar. + +I made him sup with me and gave him a room on the third floor, +telling him not to leave it without my permission. At supper I +found him insipid in conversation, drunken, ignorant, and ill +disposed, and I already repented of having taken him under my +protection; but the thing was done. + +The next day, feeling curious to see how the Corticelli was +lodged, I called on her, taking with me a piece of Lyons silk. + +I found her and her mother in the landlady's room, and as I came +in the latter said that she was delighted to see me and that she +hoped I would often dine with them. I thanked her briefly and +spoke to the girl coolly enough. + +"Shew me your room," said I. She took me there in her mother's +company. "Here is something to make you a winter dress," said I, +skewing her the silk. + +"Is this from the marchioness?" + +"No, it is from me" + +"But where are the three dresses she said she would give me?" + +"You know very well on what conditions you were to have them, so +let us say no more about it." + +She unfolded the silk which she liked very much, but she said she +must have some trimmings. The Pacienza offered her services, and +said she would send for a dressmaker who lived close by. I +acquiesced with a nod, and as soon as she had left the room the +Signora Laura said she was very sorry only to be able to receive +me in the presence of the landlady. + +"I should have thought," said I, "that a virtuous person like you +would have been delighted." + +"I thank God for it every morning and night." + +"You infernal old hypocrite!" said I, looking contemptuously at +her. + +"Upon my word, anybody who didn't know you would be taken in." + +In a few minutes Victorine and another girl came in with their +band-boxes. + +"Are you still at Madame R----'s" said I. + +"Yes sir," said she, with a blush. + +When the Corticelli had chosen what she wanted I told Victorine to +present my compliments to her mistress, and tell her that I would +call and pay for the articles. + +The landlady had also sent for a dressmaker, and while the +Corticelli was being measured, she shewed me her figure and said +she wanted a corset. I jested on the pregnancy with which she +threatened me, and of which there was now no trace, pitying Count +N---- for being deprived of the joys of fatherhood. I then gave +her what money she required and took my leave. She escorted me to +the door, and asked me if she should have the pleasure of seeing +me again before long. + +"It's a pleasure, is it?" I replied; "well, I don't know when you +will have it again; it depends on my leisure and my fancy." + +It is certain that if I had any amorous feelings or even curiosity +about the girl, I should not have left her in that house for a +moment; but I repeat my love for her had entirely vanished. There +was one thing, however, which annoyed me intolerably, namely, that +in spite of my coolness towards her, the little hussy pretended to +think that I had forgotten and forgiven everything. + +On leaving the Corticelli, I proceeded to call on my bankers, +amongst others on M. Martin, whose wife was justly famous for her +wit and beauty. + +I chanced to meet the horse-dealing Jew, who had made money out of +me by means of his daughter Leah. She was still pretty, but +married; and her figure was too rounded for my taste. She and her +husband welcomed me with great warmth, but I cared for her no +longer, and did not wish to see her again. + +I called on Madame R----, who had been awaiting me impatiently +ever since Victorine had brought news of me. I sat down by the +counter and had the pleasure of hearing from her lips the amorous +histories of Turin for the past few months. + +"Victorine and Caton are the only two of the old set that still +remain, but I have replaced them with others." + +"Has Victorine found anyone to operate on her yet?" + +"No, she is just as you left her, but a gentleman who is in love +with her is going to take her to Milan." + +This gentleman was the Comte de Perouse, whose acquaintance I made +three years afterwards at Milan. I shall speak of him in due +time. Madame R---- told me that, in consequence of her getting +into trouble several times with the police, she had been obliged +to promise the Count d'Aglie only to send the girls to ladies, +and, consequently, if I found any of them to my taste I should be +obliged to make friends with their relations and take them to the +festas. She shewed me the girls in the work-room, but I did not +think any of them worth taking trouble about. + +She talked about the Pacienza, and when I told her that I kept the +Corticelli, and of the hard conditions to which I was obliged to +submit, she exclaimed with astonishment, and amused me by her +jests on the subject. + +"You are in good hands, my dear sir," said she; "the woman is not +only a spy of d'Aglie's, but a professional procuress. I wonder +the Chevalier Raiberti placed the girl with her." + +She was not so surprised when I told her that the chevalier had +good reasons for his action, and that I myself had good reasons of +my own for wishing the Corticelli to remain there. + +Our conversation was interrupted by a customer who wanted silk +stockings. Hearing him speak of dancing, I asked him if he could +tell me the address of Dupre, the ballet-master. + +"No one better, sir, for I am Dupre, at your service." + +"I am delighted at this happy chance. The Chevalier Raiberti gave +me to understand that you might be able to give dancing lessons to +a ballet-girl of my acquaintance." + +"M. de Raiberti mentioned your name to me this morning. You must +be the Chevalier de Seingalt?" + +"Exactly." + +"I can give the young lady lessons every morning at nine o'clock +at my own home." + +"No, do you come to her house, but at whatever hour you like. I +will pay you, and I hope you will make her one of your best +pupils. I must warn you, however, that she is not a novice." + +"I will call on her to-day, and to-morrow I will tell you what I +can make of her; but I think I had better tell you my terms: I +charge three Piedmontese livres a lesson." + +"I think that is very reasonable; I will call on you to-morrow." + +"You do me honour. Here is my address. If you like to come in +the afternoon you will see the rehearsal of a ballet." + +"Is it not rehearsed at the theatre?" + +"Yes, but at the theatre no on-lookers are allowed by the orders +of the superintendent of police." + +"This superintendent of yours puts his finger into a good many +pies." + +"In too many." + +"But at your own house anybody may come?" + +"Undoubtedly, but I could not have the dancers there if my wife +were not present. The superintendent knows her, and has great +confidence in her." + +"You will see me at the rehearsal." + +The wretched superintendent had erected a fearful system of +surveillance against the lovers of pleasure, but it must be +confessed that he was often cheated. Voluptuousness was all the +more rampant when thus restrained; and so it ever will be while +men have passions and women desires. To love and enjoy, to desire +and to satisfy one's desires, such is the circle in which we move, +and whence we can never be turned. When restrictions are placed +upon the passions as in Turkey, they still attain their ends, +but by methods destructive to morality. + +At the worthy Mazzali's I found two gentlemen to whom she +introduced me. One was old and ugly, decorated with the Order of +the White Eagle--his name was Count Borromeo; the other, young and +brisk, was Count A---- B---- of Milan. After they had gone I was +informed that they were paying assiduous court to the Chevalier +Raiberti, from whom they hoped to obtain certain privileges for +their lordships which were under the Sardinian rule. + +The Milanese count had not a penny, and the Lord of the Borromean +Isles was not much better off. He had ruined himself with women, +and not being able to live at Milan he had taken refuge in the +fairest of his isles, and enjoyed there perpetual spring and very +little else. I paid him a visit on my return from Spain, but I +shall relate our meeting when I come to my adventures, my +pleasures, my misfortunes, and above all my follies there, for of +such threads was the weft of my life composed, and folly was the +prominent element. + +The conversation turned on my house, and the lively Mazzoli asked +me how I liked my cook. I replied that I had not yet tried him, +but I proposed to put him to test the next day, if she and the +gentlemen would do me the honour of supping with me. + +The invitation was accepted, and she promised to bring her dear +chevalier with her, and to warn him of the event, as his health +only allowed him to eat once a day. + +I called on Dupre in the afternoon. I saw the dancers, male and +female, the latter accompanied by their mothers, who stood on one +side muffled up in thick cloaks. As I passed them under review in +my lordly manner, I noticed that one of them still looked fresh +and pretty, which augured well for her daughter, though the fruit +does not always correspond to the tree. + +Dupre introduced me to his wife, who was young and pretty, but who +had been obliged to leave the theatre owing to the weakness of her +chest. She told me that if the Corticelli would work hard her +husband would make a great dancer of her, as her figure was +eminently suited for dancing. While I was talking with Madame +Dupre, the Corticelli, late Lascaris, came running up to me with +the air of a favourite, and told me she wanted some ribbons and +laces to make a bonnet. The others girls began to whisper to each +other, and guessing what they must be saying I turned to Dupre +without taking any notice of Madame Madcap, and gave him twelve +pistoles, saying that I would pay for the lessons three months in +advance, and that I hoped he would bring his new pupil on well. +Such a heavy payment in advance caused general surprise, which I +enjoyed, though pretending not to be aware of it. Now I know that +I acted foolishly, but I have promised to speak the truth in these +Memoirs, which will not see the light till all light has left my +eyes, and I will keep my promise. + +I have always been greedy of distinction; I have always loved to +draw the eyes of men towards men, but I must also add that if I +have humiliated anyone it has always been a proud man or a fool, +for it has been my rule to please everyone if I can. + +I sat on one side, the better to observe the swarm of girls, and I +soon fixed my eyes on one whose appearance struck me. She had a +fine figure, delicate features, a noble air, and a patient look +which interested me in the highest degree. She was dancing with a +man who did not scruple to abuse her in the coarsest manner when +she made any mistakes, but she bore it without replying, though an +expression of contempt mingled with the sweetness of her face. + +Instinct drew me to the mother I have remarked on, and I asked her +to whom the dancer that interested me belonged. + +"I am her mother," she replied. + +"You, madam! I should not have thought it possible." + +"I was very young when she was born." + +"I should think so. Where do you come from?" + +"I am from Lucca, and what is more-a poor widow." + +"How can you be poor, when you are still young and handsome, and +have an angel for a daughter?" + +She replied only by an expressive glance. I understood her +reserve, and I stayed by her without speaking. Soon after, +Agatha, as her daughter was named, came up to her to ask for a +handkerchief to wipe her face. + +"Allow me to offer you mine," said I. It was a white +handkerchief, and scented with attar of roses; this latter +circumstance gave her an excuse for accepting it, but after +smelling it she wanted to return it to me. + +"You have not used it," said I! "do so." + +She obeyed, and then returned it to me with a bow by way of +thanks. + +"You must not give it me back, fair Agatha, till you have had it +washed." + +She smiled, and gave it to her mother, glancing at me in a +grateful manner, which I considered of good omen. + +"May I have the pleasure of calling on you?" said I. "I cannot +receive you, sir, except in the presence of my landlady." + +"This cursed restriction is general in Turin, then?" + +"Yes, the superintendent uses everybody in the same way." + +"Then I shall have the pleasure of seeing you again here?" + +In the evening I had one of the best suppers I ever had in my +life, if I except those I enjoyed during my stay at Turin. My +cook was worthy of a place in the kitchen of Lucullus; but without +detracting from his skill I must do justice to the products of the +country. Everything is delicious; game, fish, birds, meat, +vegetables, fruit, milk, and truffles--all are worthy of the table +of the greatest gourmets, and the wines of the country yield to +none. What a pity that strangers do not enjoy liberty at Turin! +It is true that better society, and more politeness, such as are +found in several French and Italian towns, are to be wished for. + +The beauty of the women of Turin is no doubt due to the excellence +of the air and diet. + +I had not much trouble in extracting a promise from Madame Mazzoli +and the two counts to sup with me every night, but the Chevalier +de Raiberti would only promise to come whenever he could. + +At the Carignan Theatre, where opera-bouffe was being played, I +saw Redegonde, with whom I had failed at Florence. She saw me in +the pit and gave me a smile, so I wrote to her, offering my +services if the mother had changed her way of thinking. She +answered that her mother was always the same, but that if I would +ask the Corticelli she could come and sup with me, though the +mother would doubtless have to be of the party. I gave her no +answer, as the terms she named were by no means to my taste. + +I had a letter from Madame du Rumain, enclosing one from M. de +Choiseul to M. de Chauvelin, the French ambassador at Turin. It +will be remembered that I had known this worthy nobleman at +Soleure, and had been treated with great politeness by him, but I +wished to have a more perfect title to his acquaintance; hence I +asked Madame du Rumain to give me a letter. + +M. de Chauvelin received me with the greatest cordiality; and +reproaching me for having thought a letter of introduction +necessary, introduced me to his charming wife, who was no less +kind than her husband. Three or four days later he asked me to +dine with him, and I met at his table M. Imberti, the Venetian +ambassador, who said he was very sorry not to be able to present +me at Court. On hearing the reason M. de Chauvelin offered to +present me himself, but I thought it best to decline with thanks. +No doubt it would have been a great honour, but the result would +be that I should be more spied on than even in this town of spies, +where the most indifferent actions do not pass unnoticed. My +pleasures would have been interfered with. + +Count Borromeo continued to honour me by coming every night to sup +with me, preserving his dignity the while, for as he accompanied +Madame Mazzoli it was not to be supposed that he came because he +was in need of a meal. Count A---- B---- came more frankly, and I +was pleased with him. He told me one day that the way I put up +with his visits made him extremely grateful to Providence, for his +wife could not send him any money, and he could not afford to pay +for his dinner at the inn, so that if it were not for my kindness +he would often be obliged to go hungry to bed. He shewed me his +wife's letters; he had evidently a high opinion of her. "I hope," +he would say, "that you will come and stay with us at Milan, and +that she will please you." + +He had been in the service of Spain, and by what he said I judged +his wife to be a pleasing brunette of twenty-five or twenty-six. +The count had told her how I had lent him money several times, and +of my goodness to him, and she replied, begging him to express her +gratitude to me, and to make me promise to stay with them at +Milan. She wrote wittily, and her letters interested me to such +an extent that I gave a formal promise to journey to Milan, if it +were only for the sake of seeing her. + +I confess that in doing so I was overcome by my feelings of +curiosity. I knew they were poor, and I should not have given a +promise which would either bring them into difficulties or expose +me to paying too dearly for my lodging. However, by way of +excuse, I can only say that curiosity is near akin to love. I +fancied the countess sensible like an Englishwoman, passionate +like a Spaniard, caressing like a Frenchwoman, and as I had a good +enough opinion of my own merit, I did not doubt for a moment that +she would respond to my affection. With these pleasant delusions +in my head, I counted on exciting the jealousy of all the ladies +and gentlemen of Milan. I had plenty of money, and I longed for +an opportunity of spending it. + +Nevertheless, I went every day to rehearsal at Dupre's, and I soon +got madly in love with Agatha. Madame Dupre won over by several +presents I made her, received my confidences with kindness, and by +asking Agatha and her mother to dinner procured me the pleasure of +a more private meeting with my charmer. I profited by the +opportunity to make known my feelings, and I obtained some slight +favours, but so slight were they that my flame only grew the +fiercer. + +Agatha kept on telling me that everybody knew that the Corticelli +was my mistress, and that for all the gold in the world she would +not have it said that she was my last shift, as I could not see +the Corticelli in private. I swore to her that I did not love the +Corticelli, and that I only kept her to prevent M. Raiberti being +compromised; but all this was of no avail, she had formed her +plans, and nothing would content her but a formal rupture which +would give all Turin to understand that I loved her and her alone. +On these conditions she promised me her heart, and everything +which follows in such cases. + +I loved her too well not to endeavour to satisfy her, since my +satisfaction depended on hers. With this idea I got Dupre to give +a ball at my expense in some house outside the town, and to invite +all the dancers, male and female, who were engaged for the +carnival at Turin. Every gentleman had the right to bring a lady +to have supper and look on, as only the professional dancers were +allowed to dance. + +I told Dupre that I would look after the refreshment department, +and that he might tell everybody that no expense was to be spared. +I also provided carriages and sedan-chairs for the ladies, but +nobody was to know that I was furnishing the money. Dupre saw +that there was profit in store for him, and went about it at once. +He found a suitable house, asked the lady dancers, and distributed +about fifty tickets. + +Agatha and her mother were the only persons who knew that the +project was mine, and that I was responsible to a great extent for +the expenses; but these facts were generally known the day after +the ball. + +Agatha had no dress that was good enough, so I charged Madame +Dupre to provide one at my expense, and I was well served. It is +well known that when this sort of people dip their fingers into +other's purses they are not sparing, but that was just what I +wanted. Agatha promised to dance all the quadrilles with me, and +to return to Turin with Madame Dupre. + +On the day fixed for the ball I stayed to dinner at the Dupre's to +be present at Agatha's toilette. Her dress was a rich and newly- +made Lyons silk, and the trimming was exquisite Alencon point +lace, of which the girl did not know the value. Madame R----, who +had arranged the dress, and Madame Dupre, had received +instructions to say nothing about it to her. + +When Agatha was ready to start, I told her that the ear-rings she +was wearing were not good enough for her dress. + +"That's true," said Madame Dupre, "and it's a great pity." + +"Unfortunately," said the mother, "my poor girl hasn't got another +pair." + +"I have some pretty imitation pendants, which I could lend you," +said I; "they are really very brilliant." + +I had taken care to put the ear-rings which Madame d'Urfe had +intended for the Countess Lascaris in my pocket. I drew them out, +and they were greatly admired. + +"One would swear they were real diamonds," said Madame Dupre. + +I put them in Agatha's ears. She admired them very much, and said +that all the other girls would be jealous, as they would certainly +take them for real stones. + +I went home and made an elaborate toilette, and on arriving at the +ball I found Agatha dancing with Lord Percy, a young fool, who was +the son of the Duke of Northumberland, and an extravagant +spendthrift. + +I noticed several handsome ladies from Turin, who, being merely +onlookers, might be thinking that the ball was given for their +amusement, like the fly on the chariot wheel. All the ambassadors +were present, and amongst others M. de Chauvelin, who told me that +to make everything complete my pretty housekeeper at Soleure was +wanting. + +The Marquis and Marchioness de Prie were there also. The marquis +did not care to dance, so was playing a little game of quinze with +a rude gamester, who would not let the marquis's mistress look +over his cards. She saw me, but pretended not to recognize me; +the trick I had played her at Aix being probably enough to last +her for some time. + +The minuets came to an end, and Dupre announced the quadrilles, +and I was glad to see the Chevalier Ville-Follet dancing with the +Corticelli. My partner was Agatha, who had great difficulty in +getting rid of Lord Percy, though she told him that she was fully +engaged. + +Minuets and quadrilles followed each other in succession, and +refreshments began to make their appearance. I was delighted to +see that the refreshment counter was furnished with the utmost +liberality. The Piedmontese, who are great at calculations, +estimated that Dupre must lose by it, the firing of champagne +corks was continuous. + +Feeling tired I asked Agatha to sit down, and I was telling her +how I loved her when Madame de Chauvelin and another lady +interrupted us. I rose to give them place, and Agatha imitated my +example; but Madame de Chauvelin made her sit down beside her, and +praised her dress, and above all the lace trimming. The other +lady said how pretty her ear-rings were, and what a pity it was +that those imitation stones would lose their brilliance in time. +Madame de Chauvelin, who knew something about precious stones, +said that they would never lose their brilliance, as they were +diamonds of the first water. + +"It is not so?" she added, to Agatha, who in the candour of her +heart confessed that they were imitation, and that I had lent them +to her. + +At this Madame de Chauvelin burst out laughing, and said,-- + +"M. de Seingalt has deceived you, my dear child. A gentleman of +his caste does not lend imitation jewellery to such a pretty girl +as you are. Your ear-rings are set with magnificent diamonds." + +She blushed, for my silence confirmed the lady's assertion, and +she felt that the fact of my having lent her such stones was a +palpable proof of the great esteem in which I held her. + +Madame de Chauvelin asked me to dance a minuet with Agatha, and my +partner executed the dance with wonderful grace. When it was over +Madame de Chauvelin thanked me, and told me that she should always +remember our dancing together at Soleure, and that she hoped I +would dance again with her at her own house. A profound bow +shewed her how flattered I felt by the compliment. + +The ball did not come to an end till four o'clock in the morning, +and I did not leave it till I saw Agatha going away in the company +with Madame Dupre. + +I was still in bed the next morning, when my man told me a pretty +woman wanted to speak to me. I had her in and was delighted to +find it was Agatha's mother. I made her sit down beside me, and +gave her a cup of chocolate. As soon as we were alone she drew my +ear-rings from her pocket, and said, with a smile, that she had +just been shewing them to a jeweller, who had offered her a +thousand sequins for them. + +"The man's mad," said I, "you ought to have let him have them; +they are not worth four sequins." + +So saying, I drew her to my arms and gave her a kiss. Feeling +that she had shared in the kiss, and that she seemed to like it, I +went farther, and at last we spent a couple of hours in shewing +what a high opinion we had of each other. + +Afterwards we both looked rather astonished, and it was the +beautiful mother who first broke the silence. + +"Am I to tell my girl," said she, with a smile, "of the way in +which you proved to me that you love her?" + +"I leave that to your discretion, my dear," said I. "I have +certainly proved that I love you, but it does not follow that I do +not adore your daughter. In fact, I burn for her; and yet, if we +are not careful to avoid being alone together, what has just +happened between us will often happen again." + +"It is hard to resist you, and it is possible that I may have +occasion to speak to you again in private." + +"You may be sure you will always be welcome, and all I ask of you +is not to put any obstacles in the way of my suit with Agatha." + +"I have also a favour to ask." + +"If it is within my power, you may be sure I will grant it." + +"Very good! Then tell me if these ear-rings are real, and what +was your intention in putting them in my daughter's ears?" + +"The diamonds are perfectly genuine, and my intention was that +Agatha should keep them as a proof of my affection." + +She heaved a sigh, and then told me that I might ask them to +supper, with Dupre and his wife, whenever I pleased. I thanked +her, gave her ten sequins, and sent her away happy. + +On reflection I decided that I had never seen a more sensible +woman than Agatha's mother. It would have been impossible to +announce the success of my suit in a more delicate or more +perspicuous manner. + +My readers will ho doubt guess that I seized the opportunity and +brought this interesting affair to a conclusion. The same evening +I asked Dupre and his wife, Agatha and her mother, to sup with me +the next day, in addition to my usual company. But as I was +leaving Dupre's I had an adventure. + +My man, who was a great rascal, but who behaved well on this +occasion, ran up to me panting for breath, and said triumphantly, + +"Sir, I have been looking for you to warn you that I have just +seen the Chevalier de Ville-Follet slip into Madame Pacienza's +house, and I suspect he is making an amorous call on the +Corticelli." + +I immediately walked to the abode of the worthy spy in high +spirits, and hoping that my servant's guess had been correct. I +walked in and found the landlady and the mother sitting together. +Without noticing them, I was making my way towards the +Corticelli's room when the two old ladies arrested my course, +telling me that the signora was not well and wanted rest. I +pushed them aside, and entered the room so swiftly and suddenly +that I found the gentleman in a state of nature while the girl +remained stretched on the bed as if petrified by my sudden +apparition. + +"Sir," said I, "I hope you will pardon me for coming in without +knocking." + +"Wait a moment, wait a moment." + +Far from waiting I went away in high glee, and told the story to +the Chevalier Raiberti, who enjoyed it as well as I did. I asked +him to warn the Pacienza woman that from that day I would pay +nothing for Corticelli, who had ceased to belong to me. He +approved, and said,-- + +"I suppose you will not be going to complain to the Count +d'Aglie?" + +"It is only fools who complain, above all in circumstances like +these." + +This scandalous story would have been consigned to forgetfulness, +if it had not been for the Chevalier de Ville-Follet's +indiscretion. He felt angry at being interrupted in the middle of +the business, and remembering he had seen my man just before fixed +on him as the informer. Meeting him in the street the chevalier +reproached him for spying, whereon the impudent rascal replied +that he was only answerable to his master, and that it was his +duty to serve me in all things. On this the chevalier caned him, +and the man went to complain to the superintendent, who summoned +Ville-Follet to appear before him and explain his conduct. Having +nothing to fear, he told the whole story. + +The Chevalier de Raiberti, too, was very ill received when he went +to tell Madame Pacienza that neither he nor I were going to pay +her anything more in future; but he would listen to no defence. +The chevalier came to sup with me, and he informed me that on +leaving the house he had met a police sergeant, whom he concluded +had come to cite the landlady to appear before the Count d'Aglie. + +The next day, just as I was going to M. de Chauvelin's ball, I +received to my great surprise a note from the superintendent +begging me to call on him as he had something to communicate to +me. I immediately ordered my chairmen to take me to his +residence. + +M. de Aglie received me in private with great politeness, and +after giving me a chair he began a long and pathetic discourse, +the gist of which was that it was my duty to forgive this little +slip of my mistress's. + +"That's exactly what I am going to do," said I; "and for the rest +of my days I never wish to see the Corticelli again, or to make or +mar in her affairs, and for all this I am greatly obliged to the +Chevalier de Ville-Follet." + +"I see you are angry. Come, come! you must not abandon the girl +for that. I will have the woman Pacienza punished in such a way +as to satisfy you, and I will place the girl in a respectable +family where you can go and see her in perfect liberty." + +"I am greatly obliged to you for your kindness, indeed I am +grateful; but I despise the Pacienza too heartily to wish for her +punishment, and as to the Corticelli and her mother, they are two +female swindlers, who have given me too much trouble already. +I am well quit of them" + +"You must confess, however, that you had no right to make a +forcible entry into a room in a house which does not belong to +you." + +"I had not the right, I confess, but if I had not taken it I could +never have had a certain proof of the perfidy of my mistress; and +I should have been obliged to continue supporting her, though she +entertained other lovers." + +"The Corticelli pretends that you are her debtor, and not vice +versa. She says that the diamonds you have given another girl +belong of right to her, and that Madame d'Urfe, whom I have the +honour to know, presented her with them." + +"She is a liar! And as you know Madame d'Urfe, kindly write to +her (she is at Lyons); and if the marchioness replies that I owe +the wretched girl anything, be sure that I will discharge the +debt. I have a hundred thousand francs in good banks of this +town, and the money will be a sufficient surety for the ear-rings +I have disposed of." + +"I am sorry that things have happened so." + +"And I am very glad, as I have ridden myself of a burden that was +hard to bear." + +Thereupon we bowed politely to one another, and I left the office. + +At the French ambassador's ball I heard so much talk of my +adventure that at last I refused to reply to any more questions on +the subject. The general opinion was that the whole affair was a +trifle of which I could not honourably take any notice; but I +thought myself the best judge of my own honour, and was determined +to take no notice of the opinions of others. The Chevalier de +Ville-Follet came up to me and said that if I abandoned the +Corticelli for such a trifle, he should feel obliged to give me +satisfaction. I shook his hand, saying,-- + +"My dear chevalier, it will be enough if you do not demand +satisfaction of me." + +He understood how the land lay, and said no more about it; but not +so his sister, the Marchioness de Prie, who made a vigorous attack +on me after we had danced together. She was handsome, and might +have been victorious if she had liked, but luckily she did not +think of exerting her power, and so gained nothing. + +Three days after, Madame de St. Giles, a great power in Turin, and +a kind of protecting deity to all actresses, summoned me to her +presence by a liveried footman. Guessing what she wanted, I +called on her unceremoniously in a morning coat. She received me +politely, and began to talk of the Corticelli affair with great +affability; but I did not like her, and replied dryly that I had +had no hesitation in abandoning the girl to the protection of the +gallant gentleman with whom I had surprised her in 'flagrante +delicto'. She told me I should be sorry for it, and that she +would publish a little story which she had already read and which +did not do me much credit. I replied that I never changed my +mind, and that threats were of no avail with me. With that +parting shot I left her. + +I did not attach much importance to the town gossip, but a week +after I received a manuscript containing an account--accurate in +most respects--of my relations with the Corticelli and Madame +d'Urfe, but so ill written and badly expressed that nobody could +read it without weariness. It did not make the slightest +impression on me, and I stayed a fortnight longer in Turin without +its causing me the slightest annoyance. I saw the Corticelli +again in Paris six months after, and will speak of our meeting in +due time. + +The day after M. de Chauvelin's ball I asked Agatha, her mother, +the Dupres, and my usual company to supper. It was the mother's +business to so arrange matters that the ear-rings should become +Agatha's lawful property, so I left everything to her. I knew she +would manage to introduce the subject, and while we were at supper +she said that the common report of Turin was that I had given her +daughter a pair of diamond ear-rings worth five hundred Louis, +which the Corticelli claimed as hers by right. + +"I do not know," she added, "if they are real diamonds, or if they +belong to the Corticelli, but I do know that my girl has received +no such present from the gentleman." + +"Well, well," said I, "we will have no more surmises in the +matter;" and going up to Agatha I put the earrings on her, +saying,-- + +"Dearest Agatha, I make you a present of them before this company, +and my giving them to you now is a proof that hitherto they have +belonged to me." + +Everybody applauded, and I read in the girl's eyes that I should +have no cause to regret my generosity. + +We then fell to speaking of the affair of Ville-Follet and the +Corticelli, and of the efforts that had been made to compel me to +retain her. The Chevalier Raiberti said that in my place he would +have offered Madame de St. Giles or the superintendent to continue +paying for her board, but merely as an act of charity, and that I +could have deposited money with either of them. + +"I should be very glad to do so," said I; and the next day the +worthy chevalier made the necessary arrangements with Madame de +St. Giles, and I furnished the necessary moneys. + +In spite of this charitable action, the wretched manuscript came +out, but, as I have said, without doing me any harm. The +superintendent made the Corticelli live in the same house with +Redegonde, and Madame Pacienza was left in peace. + +After supper, with the exception of the Chevalier Raiberti, we all +masked, and went to the ball at the opera-house. I soon seized +the opportunity of escaping with Agatha, and she granted me all +that love can desire. All constraint was banished; she was my +titular mistress, and we were proud of belonging the one to the +other, for we loved each other. The suppers I had given at my +house had set me perfectly at liberty, and the superintendent +could do nothing to thwart our love, though he was informed of it, +so well are the spies of Turin organized. + +Divine Providence made use of me as its instrument in making +Agatha's fortune. It may be said that Providence might have +chosen a more moral method, but are we to presume to limit the +paths of Providence to the narrow circle of our prejudices and +conventions? It has its own ways, which often appear dark to us +because of our ignorance. At all events, if I am able to continue +these Memoirs for six or seven years more, the reader will see +that Agatha shewed herself grateful. But to return to our +subject. + +The happiness we enjoyed by day and night was so great, Agatha was +so affectionate and I so amorous, that we should certainly have +remained united for some time if it had not been for the event I +am about to relate. It made me leave Turin much sooner than I had +intended, for I had not purposed to visit the wonderful Spanish +countess at Milan till Lent. The husband of the Spanish lady had +finished his business and left Turin, thanking me with tears in +his eyes; and if it had not been for me he would not have been +able to quit the town, for I paid divers small debts he had +incurred, and gave him the wherewithal for his journey. Often is +vice thus found allied to virtue or masking in virtue's guise; but +what matter? I allowed myself to be taken in, and did not wish to +be disabused. I do not seek to conceal my faults. I have always +led a profligate life, and have not always been very delicate in +the choice of means to gratify my passions, but even amidst my +vices I was always a passionate lover of virtue. Benevolence, +especially, has always had a great charm for me, and I have never +failed to exercise it unless when restrained by the desire of +vengeance--a vice which has always had a controlling influence on +my actions. + +Lord Percy, as I have remarked, was deeply in love with my Agatha. +He followed her about everywhere, was present at all the +rehearsals, waited for her at the wings, and called on her every +day, although her landlady, a duenna of the Pacienza school, would +never let her see him alone. The principal methods of seduction-- +rich presents--had not been spared, but Agatha persistently +refused them all, and forbade her duenna to take anything from the +young nobleman. Agatha had no liking for him, and kept me well +informed of all his actions, and we used to laugh at him together. +I knew that I possessed her heart, and consequently Lord Percy's +attempts neither made me angry or jealous--nay, they flattered my +self-esteem, for his slighted love made my own happiness stand out +in greater relief. Everybody knew that Agatha remained faithful +to me, and at last Lord Percy was so convinced of the hopelessness +of the attempt that he resolved on making a friend of me, and +winning me over to his interests. + +With the true Englishman's boldness and coolness he came to me one +morning, and asked me to give him breakfast. I welcomed him in +the French manner, that is, with combined cordiality and +politeness, and he was soon completely at his ease. + +With insular directness he went straight to the point at the first +interview, declared his love for Agatha, and proposed an exchange, +which amused, but did not offend me, as I knew that such bargains +were common in England. + +"I know," said he, "that you are in love with Redegonde, and have +long tried vainly to obtain her; now I am willing to exchange her +for Agatha, and all I want to know is what sum of money you want +over and above?" + +"You are very good, my dear lord, but to determine the excess of +value would require a good mathematician. Redegonde is all very +well, and inspires me with curiosity, but what is she compared to +Agatha?" + +"I know, I know, and I therefore offer you any sum you like to +mention." + +Percy was very rich, and very passionate. I am sure that if I had +named twenty-five thousand guineas as overplus, or rather as +exchange--for I did not care for Redegonde--he would have said +done. However, I did not, and I am glad of it. Even now, when a +hundred thousand francs would be a fortune to me, I never repent +of my delicacy. + +After we had breakfasted merrily together, I told him that I liked +him well, but that in the first place it would be well to +ascertain whether the two commodities would consent to change +masters. + +"I am sure of Redegonde's consent," said Lord Percy. + +"But I am not at all sure of Agatha's," said I. + +"Why not?" + +"I have very strong grounds for supposing that she would not +consent to the arrangement. What reasons have you for the +contrary opinion?" + +"She will shew her sense." + +"But she loves me." + +"Well, Redegonde loves me." + +"I dare say; but does she love me?" + +"I am sure I don't know, but she will love you." + +"Have you consulted her upon the point?" + +"No, but it is all the same. What I want to know now is whether +you approve of my plan, and how much you want for the exchange, +for your Agatha is worth much more than my Redegonde." + +"I am delighted to hear you do my mistress justice. As for the +money question, we will speak of that later. In the first place I +will take Agatha's opinion, and will let you know the result to- +morrow morning." + +The plan amused me, and though I was passionately attached to +Agatha I knew my inconstant nature well enough to be aware that +another woman, may be not so fair as she, would soon make me +forget her. I therefore resolved to push the matter through if I +could do so in a manner that would be advantageous for her. + +What surprised me was that the young nobleman had gained +possession of Redegonde, whose mother appeared so intractable, but +I knew what an influence caprice has on woman, and this explained +the enigma. + +Agatha came to supper as usual, and laughed heartily when I told +her of Lord Percy's proposal. + +"Tell me," said I, "if you would agree to the change?" + +"I will do just as you like," said she; "and if the money he +offers be acceptable to you, I advise you to close with him." + +I could see by the tone of her voice that she was jesting, but her +reply did not please me. I should have liked to have my vanity +flattered by a peremptory refusal, and consequently I felt angry. +My face grew grave, and Agatha became melancholy. + +"We will see," said I, "how it all ends." + +Next day I went to breakfast with the Englishman, and told him +Agatha was willing, but that I must first hear what Redegonde had +to say. + +"Quite right," he observed. + +"I should require to know how we are to live together." + +"The four of us had better go masked to the first ball at the +Carignan Theatre. We will sup at a house which belongs to me, and +there the bargain can be struck." + +The party took place according to agreement, and at the given +signal we all left the ball-room. My lord's carriage was in +waiting, and we all drove away and got down at a house I seemed to +know. We entered the hall, and the first thing I saw was the +Corticelli. This roused my choler, and taking Percy aside I told +him that such a trick was unworthy of a gentleman. He laughed, +and said he thought I should like her to be thrown in, and that +two pretty women were surely worth as much as Agatha. This +amusing answer made me less angry; but, calling him a madman, I +took Agatha by the arm and went out without staying for any +explanations. I would not make use of his carriage, and instead +of returning to the ball we went home in sedan-chairs, and spent a +delicious night in each other's arms. + + + + +End of this Project Gutenberg Etext of MEMOIRES OF JACQUES CASANOVA +ADVENTURES IN THE SOUTH, Vol. 4d, BACK AGAIN TO PARIS +by Jacques Casanova de Seingalt + |