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diff --git a/.gitattributes b/.gitattributes new file mode 100644 index 0000000..6833f05 --- /dev/null +++ b/.gitattributes @@ -0,0 +1,3 @@ +* text=auto +*.txt text +*.md text diff --git a/2964.txt b/2964.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..47f86bc --- /dev/null +++ b/2964.txt @@ -0,0 +1,5570 @@ +The Project Gutenberg EBook of The Eternal Quest: Switzerland +by Jacques Casanova de Seingalt + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: The Eternal Quest: Switzerland + The Memoirs Of Jacques Casanova De Seingalt 1725-1798 + +Author: Jacques Casanova de Seingalt + +Release Date: October 31, 2006 [EBook #2964] + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ASCII + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE ETERNAL QUEST: SWITZERLAND *** + + + + +Produced by David Widger + + + + + +MEMOIRS OF JACQUES CASANOVA de SEINGALT 1725-1798 + +THE ETERNAL QUEST, Volume 3d--SWITZERLAND + +THE RARE UNABRIDGED LONDON EDITION OF 1894 TRANSLATED BY ARTHUR MACHEN TO +WHICH HAS BEEN ADDED THE CHAPTERS DISCOVERED BY ARTHUR SYMONS. + + + + +THE ETERNAL QUEST + + + + +SWITZERLAND + + + + +CHAPTER XIII + +I Resolve to Become a Monk--I go to Confession--Delay of a +Fortnight--Giustiniani, the Apostle Capuchin--I Alter my Mind; My +Reasons--My Pranks at the Inn--I Dine With the Abbot + +The cool way in which the abbot told these cock-and-bull stories gave me +an inclination to laughter, which the holiness of the place and the laws +of politeness had much difficulty in restraining. All the same I listened +with such an attentive air that his reverence was delighted with me and +asked where I was staying. + +"Nowhere," said I; "I came from Zurich on foot, and my first visit was to +your church." + +I do not know whether I pronounced these words with an air of +compunction, but the abbot joined his hands and lifted them to heaven, as +if to thank God for touching my heart and bringing me there to lay down +the burden of my sins. I have no doubt that these were his thoughts, as I +have always had the look of a great sinner. + +The abbot said it was near noon and that he hoped I would do him the +honour of dining with him, and I accepted with pleasure, for I had had +nothing to eat and I knew that there is usually good cheer in such +places. I did not know where I was and I did not care to ask, being +willing to leave him under the impression that I was a pilgrim come to +expiate my sins. + +On our way from the church the abbot told me that his monks were fasting, +but that we should eat meat in virtue of a dispensation he had received +from Benedict XIV., which allowed him to eat meat all the year round with +his guests. I replied that I would join him all the more willingly as the +Holy Father had given me a similar dispensation. This seemed to excite +his curiosity about myself, and when we got to his room, which did not +look the cell of a penitent, he hastened to shew me the brief, which he +had framed and glazed and hung up opposite the table so that the curious +and scrupulous might have it in full view. + +As the table was only laid for two, a servant in full livery came in and +brought another cover; and the humble abbot then told me that he usually +had his chancellor with him at dinner, "for," said he, "I have a +chancery, since as abbot of Our Lady of Einsiedel I am a prince of the +Holy Roman Empire." + +This was a relief to me, as I now knew where I was, and I no longer ran +the risk of shewing my ignorance in the course of conversation. + +This monastery (of which I had heard before) was the Loretto of the +Mountains, and was famous for the number of pilgrims who resorted to it. + +In the course of dinner the prince--abbot asked me where I came from, if +I were married, if I intended to make a tour of Switzerland, adding that +he should be glad to give me letters of introduction. I replied that I +was a Venetian, a bachelor, and that I should be glad to accept the +letters of introduction he had kindly offered me, after I had had a +private conference with him, in which I desired to take his advice on my +conscience. + +Thus, without premeditation, and scarcely knowing what I was saying, I +engaged to confess to the abbot. + +This was my way. Whenever I obeyed a spontaneous impulse, whenever I did +anything of a sudden, I thought I was following the laws of my destiny, +and yielding to a supreme will. When I had thus plainly intimated to him +that he was to be my confessor, he felt obliged to speak with religious +fervour, and his discourses seemed tolerable enough during a delicate and +appetising repast, for we had snipe and woodcock; which made me +exclaim,-- + +"What! game like that at this time of year?" + +"It's a secret," said he, with a pleased smile, "which I shall be glad to +communicate to you." + +The abbot was a man of taste, for though he affected sobriety he had the +choicest wines and the most delicious dishes on the table. A splendid +salmon-trout was brought, which made him smile with pleasure, and +seasoning the good fare with a jest, he said in Latin that we must taste +it as it was fish, and that it was right to fast a little. + +While he was talking the abbot kept a keen eye on me, and as my fine +dress made him feel certain that I had nothing to ask of him he spoke at +ease. + +When dinner was over the chancellor bowed respectfully and went out. Soon +after the abbot took me over the monastery, including the library, which +contained a portrait of the Elector of Cologne in semi-ecclesiastical +costume. I told him that the portrait was a good though ugly likeness, +and drew out of my pocket the gold snuffbox the prince had given me, +telling him that it was a speaking likeness. He looked at it with +interest, and thought his highness had done well to be taken in the dress +of a grand-master. But I perceived that the elegance of the snuff-box did +no harm to the opinion the abbot had conceived of me. As for the library, +if I had been alone it would have made me weep. It contained nothing +under the size of folio, the newest books were a hundred years old, and +the subject-matter of all these huge books was solely theology and +controversy. There were Bibles, commentators, the Fathers, works on canon +law in German, volumes of annals, and Hoffman's dictionary. + +"I suppose your monks have private libraries of their own," I said, +"which contain accounts of travels, with historical and scientific +works." + +"Not at all," he replied; "my monks are honest folk, who are content to +do their duty, and to live in peace and sweet ignorance." + +I do not know what happened to me at that moment, but a strange whim came +into my head--I would be a monk, too. I said nothing about it at the +moment, but I begged the abbot to take me to his private chamber. + +"I wish to make a general confession of all my sins," said I, "that I may +obtain the benefit of absolution, and receive the Holy Eucharist on the +morrow." + +He made no answer, but led the way to a pretty little room, and without +requiring me to kneel down said he was ready to hear me. + +I sat down before him and for three consecutive hours I narrated +scandalous histories unnumerable, which, however, I told simply and not +spicily, since I felt ascetically disposed and obliged myself to speak +with a contrition I did not feel, for when I recounted my follies I was +very far from finding the remembrance of them disagreeable. + +In spite of that, the serene or reverend abbot believed, at all events, +in my attrition, for he told me that since by the appointed means I had +once more placed myself in a state of grace, contrition would be +perfected in me. + +According to the good abbot, and still more according to me, without +grace contrition is impossible. + +After he had pronounced the sacramental words which take away the sins of +men, he advised me to retire to the chamber he had appointed for me, to +pass the rest of the day in prayer, and to go to bed at an early hour, +but he added that I could have supper if I was accustomed to that meal. +He told me that I might communicate at the first mass next morning, and +with that we parted. + +I obeyed with a docility which has puzzled me ever since, but at the time +I thought nothing of it. I was left alone in a room which I did not even +examine, and there I pondered over the idea which had come into my head +before making my confession; and I quite made up my mind that chance, or +rather my good genius, had led me to that spot, where happiness awaited +me, and where I might shelter all my days from the tempests of the world. + +"Whether I stay here," said I, "depends on myself alone, as I am sure the +abbot will not refuse me the cowl if I give him ten thousand crowns for +my support." + +All that was needed to secure my happiness seemed a library of my own +choosing, and I did not doubt but that the abbot would let me have what +books I pleased if I promised to leave them to the monastery after my +death. + +As to the society of the monks, the discord, envy, and all the bickerings +inseparable from such a mode of life, I thought I had nothing to pass in +that way, since I had no ambitions which could rouse the jealousy of the +other monks. Nevertheless, despite my fascination, I foresaw the +possibility of repentance, and I shuddered at the thought, but I had a +cure for that also. + +"When I ask for the habit," I said, "I will also ask that my novitiate be +extended for ten years, and if repentance do not come in ten years it +will not come at all. I shall declare that I do not wish for any cure or +any ecclesiastical dignity. All I want is peace and leave to follow my +own tastes, without scandalising anyone." I thought: I could easily +remove any objections which might be made to the long term of my +novitiate, by agreeing, in case I changed my mind, to forfeit the ten +thousand crowns which I would pay in advance. + +I put down this fine idea in writing before I went to bed; and in the +morning, finding myself unshaken in my resolve, after I had communicated +I gave my plan to the abbot, who was taking chocolate in his room. + +He immediately read my plan, and without saying anything put it on the +table, and after breakfast he walked up and down the room and read it +again, and finally told me that he would give me an answer after dinner. + +I waited till night with the impatience of a child who has been promised +toys on its birthday--so completely and suddenly can an infatuation +change one's nature. We had as good a dinner as on the day before, and +when we had risen from the table the good abbot said, + +"My carriage is at the door to take you to Zurich. Go, and let me have a +fortnight to think it over. I will bring my answer in person. In the +meanwhile here are two sealed letters, which please deliver yourself." + +I replied that I would obey his instructions and that I would wait for +him at the "Sword," in the hope that he would deign to grant my wishes. I +took his hand, which he allowed me to kiss, and I then set out for +Zurich. + +As soon as my Spaniard saw me the rascal began to laugh. I guessed what +he was thinking, and asked him what he was laughing at. + +"I am amazed to see that no sooner do you arrive in Switzerland than you +contrive to find some amusement which keeps you away for two whole days." + +"Ah, I see; go and tell the landlord that I shall want the use of a good +carriage for the next fortnight, and also a guide on whom I can rely." + +My landlord, whose name was Ote, had been a captain, and was thought a +great deal of at Zurich. He told me that all the carriages in the +neighbourhood were uncovered. I said they would do, as there was nothing +better to be had, and he informed me I could trust the servant he would +provide me with. + +Next morning I took the abbot's letters. One was for M. Orelli and the +other for a M. Pestalozzi, neither of whom I found at home; but in the +afternoon they both called on me, asked me to dinner, and made me promise +to come with them the same evening to a concert. This is the only species +of entertainment allowed at Zurich, and only members of the musical +society can be present, with the exception of strangers, who have to be +introduced by a member, and are then admitted on the payment of a crown. +The two gentlemen both spoke in very high terms of the Abbot of +Einsiedel. + +I thought the concert a bad one, and got bored at it. The men sat on the +right hand and the women on the left. I was vexed with this arrangement, +for in spite of my recent conversation I saw three or four ladies who +pleased me, and whose eyes wandered a good deal in my direction. I should +have liked to make love to them, to make the best of my time before I +became a monk. + +When the concert was over, men and women went out together, and the two +citizens presented me to their wives and daughters, who looked pleasant, +and were amongst those I had noticed. + +Courtesy is necessarily cut short in the street, and, after I had thanked +the two gentlemen, I went home to the "Sword." + +Next day I dined with M. Orelli, and I had an opportunity for doing +justice to his daughter's amiability without being able to let her +perceive how she had impressed me. The day after, I played the same part +with M. Pestalozzi, although his charming daughter was pretty enough to +excite my gallantry. But to my own great astonishment I was a mirror of +discretion, and in four days that was my character all over the town. I +was quite astonished to find myself accosted in quite a respectful +manner, to which I was not accustomed; but in the pious state of mind I +was in, this confirmed me in the belief that my idea of taking the cowl +had been a Divine inspiration. Nevertheless, I felt listless and weary, +but I looked upon that as the inevitable consequence of so complete a +change of life, and thought it would disappear when I grew more +accustomed to goodness. + +In order to put myself, as soon as possible, on an equality with my +future brethren, I passed three hours every morning in learning German. +My master was an extraordinary man, a native of Genoa, and an apostate +Capuchin. His name was Giustiniani. The poor man, to whom I gave six +francs every morning, looked upon me as an angel from heaven, although I, +with the enthusiasm of a devotee, took him for a devil of hell, for he +lost no opportunity of throwing a stone at the religious orders. Those +orders which had the highest reputation, were, according to him, the +worst of all, since they led more people astray. He styled monks in +general as a vile rabble, the curse of the human race. + +"But," said I to him one day, "you will confess that Our Lady of +Einsiedel . . ." + +"What!" replied the Genoese, without letting me finish my remark, "do you +think I should make an exception in favour of a set of forty ignorant, +lazy, vicious, idle, hypocritical scoundrels who live bad lives under the +cloak of humility, and eat up the houses of the poor simpletons who +provide for them, when they ought to be earning their own bread?" + +"But how about his reverend highness the abbot?" + +"A stuck-up peasant who plays the part of a prince, and is fool enough to +think himself one." + +"But he is a prince." + +"As much a prince as I am. I look upon him as a mere buffoon." + +"What has he done to you?" + +"Nothing; but he is a monk." + +"He is a friend of mine." + +"I cannot retract what I have said, but I beg your pardon." + +This Giustiniani had a great influence upon me, although I did not know +it, for I thought my vocation was sure. But my idea of becoming a monk at +Einsiedel came to an end as follows: + +The day before the abbot was coming to see me, at about six o'clock in +the evening, I was sitting at my window, which looked out on the bridge, +and gazing at the passers-by, when all at once a carriage and four came +up at a good pace and stopped at the inn. There was no footman on it, and +consequently the waiter came out and opened the door, and I saw four +well-dressed women leave the carriage. In the first three I saw nothing +noticeable, but the fourth, who was dressed in a riding-habit, struck me +at once with her elegance and beauty. She was a brunette with fine and +well-set eyes, arched eyebrows, and a complexion in which the hues of the +lily and the rose were mingled. Her bonnet was of blue satin with a +silver fillet, which gave her an air I could not resist. I stretched out +from the window as far as I could, and she lifted her eyes and looked at +me as if I had bade her do so. My position obliged me to look at her for +half a minute; too much for a modest woman, and more than was required to +set me all ablaze. + +I ran and took up my position at the window of my ante-chamber, which +commanded a view of the staircase, and before long I saw her running by +to rejoin her three companions. When she got opposite to my window she +chanced to turn in that direction, and on seeing me cried out as if she +had seen a ghost; but she soon recollected herself and ran away, laughing +like a madcap, and rejoined the other ladies who were already in their +room. + +Reader, put yourself in my place, and tell me how I could have avoided +this meeting. And you who would bury yourselves in monastic shades, +persevere, if you can, after you have seen what I saw at Zurich on April +23rd. + +I was in such a state of excitement that I had to lie down on my bed. +After resting a few minutes, I got up and almost unconsciously went +towards the passage window and saw the waiter coming out of the ladies' +room. + +"Waiter," said I, "I will take supper in the dining-room with everybody +else." + +"If you want to see those ladies, that won't do, as they have ordered +their supper to be brought up to them. They want to go to bed in good +time as they are to leave at day-break." + +"Where are they going?" + +"To Our Lady of Einsiedel to pay their vows." + +"Where do they come from?" + +"From Soleure." + +"What are their names?" + +"I don't know." + +I went to lie down again, and thought how I could approach the fair one +of my thoughts. Should I go to Einsiedel, too? But what could I do when I +got there? These ladies are going to make their confessions; I could not +get into the confessional. What kind of a figure should I cut among the +monks? And if I were to meet the abbot on the way, how could I help +returning with him? If I had had a trusty friend I would have arranged +an ambuscade and carried off my charmer. It would have been an easy task, +as she had nobody to defend her. What if I were to pluck up my heart and +beg them to let me sup in their company? I was afraid of the three +devotees; I should meet with a refusal. I judged that my charmer's +devotion was more a matter of form than any thing else, as her +physiognomy declared her to be a lover of pleasure, and I had long been +accustomed to read womens' characters by the play of their features. + +I did not know which way to turn, when a happy idea came into my head. I +went to the passage window and stayed there till the waiter went by. I +had him into the room, and began my discourse by sliding a piece of gold +into his hand. I then asked him to lend me his green apron, as I wished +to wait upon the ladies at supper. + +"What are you laughing at?" + +"At your taking such a fancy, sir, though I think I know why." + +"You are a sharp fellow." + +"Yes, sir, as sharp as most of them; I will get you a new apron. The +pretty one asked me who you were." + +"What did you tell her?" + +"I said you were an Italian; that's all." + +"If you will hold your tongue I will double that piece of gold." + +"I have asked your Spaniard to help me, sir, as I am single-handed, and +supper has to be served at the same time both upstairs and downstairs." + +"Very good; but the rascal mustn't come into the room or he would be sure +to laugh. Let him go to the kitchen, bring up the dishes, and leave them +outside the door." + +The waiter went out, and returned soon after with the apron and Le Duc, +to whom I explained in all seriousness what he had to do. He laughed like +a madman, but assured me he would follow my directions. I procured a +carving-knife, tied my hair in a queue, took off my coat, and put on the +apron over my scarlet waistcoat ornamented with gold lace. I then looked +at myself in the glass, and thought my appearance mean enough for the +modest part I was about to play. I was delighted at the prospect, and +thought to myself that as the ladies came from Soleure they would speak +French. + +Le Duc came to tell me that the waiter was going upstairs. I went into +the ladies' room and said, "Supper is about to be served, ladies." + +"Make haste about it, then," said the ugliest of them, "as we have got to +rise before day-break." + +I placed the chairs round the table and glanced at my fair one, who +looked petrified. The waiter came in, and I helped him to put the dishes +on the table, and he then said to me, "Do you stay here, as I have to go +downstairs." + +I took a plate and stood behind a chair facing the lady, and without +appearing to look at her I saw her perfectly, or rather I saw nothing +else. She was astonished the others did not give me a glance, and they +could not have pleased me better. After the soup I hurried to change her +plate, and then did the same office for the rest: they helped themselves +to the boiled beef. + +While they were eating, I took a boiled capon and cut it up in a masterly +manner. + +"We have a waiter who knows his work," said the lady of my thoughts. + +"Have you been long at this inn?" + +"Only a few weeks, madam." + +"You wait very well." + +"Madam is very good." + +I had tucked in my superb ruffles of English point lace, but my frilled +shirt front of the same material protruded slightly through my vest, +which I had not buttoned carefully. She saw it, and said, "Come here a +moment." + +"What does madam require?" + +"Let me see it. What beautiful lace!" + +"So I have been told, madam, but it is very old. An Italian gentleman who +was staying here made me a present of it." + +"You have ruffles of the same kind, I suppose?" + +"Yes, madam;" and so saying I stretched out my hand, unbuttoning my +waistcoat. She gently drew out the ruffle, and seemed to place herself in +a position to intoxicate me with the sight of her charms, although she +was tightly laced. What an ecstatic moment! I knew she had recognized me, +and the thought that I could not carry the masquerade beyond a certain +point was a veritable torment to me. + +When she had looked a long time, one of the others said, + +"You are certainly very curious, my dear, one would think you had never +seen lace before." + +At this she blushed. + +When the supper was done, the three ugly ladies each went apart to +undress, while I took away the dishes, and my heroine began to write. I +confess that I was almost infatuated enough to think that she was writing +to me; however, I had too high an opinion of her to entertain the idea. + +As soon as I had taken away the dishes, I stood by the door in the +respectful manner becoming the occasion. + +"What are you waiting for?" she said. + +"For your orders, madam." + +"Thank you, I don't want anything." + +"Your boots, madam, you will like them removed before you retire." + +"True, but still I don't like to give you so much trouble." + +"I am here to attend on you, madam." + +So saying, I knelt on one knee before her, and slowly unplaced her boots +while she continued writing. I went farther; I unbuckled her garters, +delighting in the contemplation and still more in the touch of her +delicately-shaped legs, but too soon for me she turned her head, and +said, + +"That will do, thank you. I did not notice that you were giving yourself +so much trouble. We shall see you to-morrow evening." + +"Then you will sup here, ladies?" + +"Certainly." + +I took her boots away, and asked if I should lock the door. + +"No, my good fellow," said she, in the voice of a syren, "leave the key +inside." + +Le Duc took the charmer's boots from me, and said, laughing,-- + +"She has caught you." + +"What?" + +"I saw it all, sir, you played your part as well as any actor in Paris; +and I am certain that she will give you a louis to-morrow, but if you +don't hand it over to me I will blow on the whole thing." + +"That's enough, you rascal; get me my supper as quickly as possible." + +Such are the pleasures which old age no longer allows me to enjoy, except +in my memory. There are monsters who preach repentance, and philosophers +who treat all pleasures as vanity. Let them talk on. Repentance only +befits crimes, and pleasures are realities, though all too fleeting. + +A happy dream made me pass the night with the fair lady; doubtless it was +a delusion, but a delusion full of bliss. What would I not give now for +such dreams, which made my nights so sweet! + +Next morning at day-break I was at her door with her boots in my hand +just as their coachman came to call them. I asked them, as a matter of +form, if they would have breakfast, and they replied merrily that they +had made too good a supper to have any appetite at such an early hour. I +went out of the room to give them time to dress, but the door was half +open, and I saw reflected in the glass the snow-white bosom of my fair +one; it was an intoxicating sight. When she had laced herself and put on +her dress she called for her boots. I asked if I should put them on, to +which she consented with a good grace, and as she had green velvet +breeches, she seemed to consider herself as almost a man. And, after all, +a waiter is not worth putting one's self out about. All the worst for him +if he dare conceive any hopes from the trifling concessions he receives. +His punishment will be severe, for who would have thought he could have +presumed so far? As for me, I am now, sad to say, grown old, and enjoy +some few privileges of this description, which I relish, though despising +myself, and still more those who thus indulge me. + +After she had gone I went to sleep again, hoping to see her in the +evening. When I awoke I heard that the abbot of Einsiedel was at Zurich, +and my landlord told me that his reverend highness would dine with me in +my room. I told him that I wished to treat the abbot well, and that he +must set the best dinner he could for us. + +At noon the worthy prelate was shewn up to my room, and began by +complimenting me on the good reputation I had at Zurich, saying that this +made him believe that my vocation was a real one. + +"The following distich," he added, "should now become your motto: + "Inveni portum. Spes et fortuna valete; + Nil mihi vobiscum est: ludite nuns alios." + +"That is a translation of two verses from Euripides," I answered; "but, +my lord, they will not serve me, as I have changed my mind since +yesterday." + +"I congratulate you," said he, "and I hope you will accomplish all your +desires. I may tell you confidentially that it is much easier to save +one's soul in the world where one can do good to one's neighbours, than +in the convent, where a man does no good to himself nor to anyone else." + +This was not speaking like the hypocrite Guistiniani had described to me; +on the contrary, it was the language of a good and sensible man. + +We had a princely dinner, as my landlord had made each of the three +courses a work of art. The repast was enlivened by an interesting +conversation, to which wit and humour were not lacking. After coffee I +thanked the abbot with the greatest respect, and accompanied him to his +carriage, where the reverend father reiterated his offers of serving me, +and thus, well pleased with one another, we parted. + +The presence and the conversation of this worthy priest had not for a +moment distracted my thoughts from the pleasing object with which they +were occupied. So soon as the abbot had gone, I went to the bridge to +await the blessed angel, who seemed to have been sent from Soleure with +the express purpose of delivering me from the temptation to become a +monk, which the devil had put into my heart. Standing on the bridge I +built many a fine castle in Spain, and about six in the evening I had the +pleasure of seeing my fair traveller once more. I hid myself so as to see +without being seen. I was greatly surprised to see them all four looking +towards my window. Their curiosity shewed me that the lady had told them +of the secret, and with my astonishment there was some admixture of +anger. This was only natural, as I not only saw myself deprived of the +hope of making any further advances, but I felt that I could no longer +play my part of waiter with any confidence. In spite of my love for the +lady I would not for the world become the laughing-stock of her three +plain companions. If I had interested her in my favour, she would +certainly not have divulged my secret, and I saw in her doing so proof +positive that she did not want the jest to go any further, or rather of +her want of that spirit so necessary to ensure the success of an +intrigue. If the three companions of my charmer had had anything +attractive about them, I might possibly have persevered and defied +misfortune; but in the same measure as beauty cheers my heart, ugliness +depresses it. Anticipating the melancholy which I foresaw would result +from this disappointment, I went out with the idea of amusing myself, and +happening to meet Giustiniani I told him of my misfortune, saying that I +should not be sorry to make up for it by a couple of hours of the society +of some mercenary beauty. + +"I will take you to a house," said he, "where you will find what you +want. Go up to the second floor and you will be well received by an old +woman, if you whisper my name to her. I dare not accompany you, as I am +well known in the town and it might get me into trouble with the police, +who are ridiculously strict in these matters. Indeed I advise you to take +care that nobody sees you going in." + +I followed the ex-Capuchin's advice and waited for the dusk of the +evening. I had a good reception, but the supper was poor, and the hours +that I spent with two young girls of the working class were tedious. They +were pretty enough, but my head was full of my perfidious charmer, and +besides, despite their neatness and prettiness, they were wanting in that +grace which adds so many charms to pleasure. The liberality of my +payment, to which they were not accustomed, captivated the old woman, who +said she would get me all the best stuff in the town; but she warned me +to take care that nobody saw me going into her house. + +When I got back Le Duc told me that I had been wise to slip away, as my +masquerade had become generally known, and the whole house, including the +landlord, had been eagerly waiting to see me play the part of waiter. "I +took your place," he added. "The lady who has taken your fancy is +Madame----, and I must confess she is vastly fine." + +"Did she ask where the other waiter was?" + +"No, but the other ladies asked what had become of you several times." + +"And Madame said nothing?" + +"She didn't open her mouth, but looked sad and seemed to care for +nothing, till I said you were away because you were ill." + +"That was stupid of you. Why did you say that?" + +"I had to say something." + +"True. Did you untie her shoe?" + +"No; she did not want me to do so." + +"Good. Who told you her name?" + +"Her coachman. She is just married to a man older than herself." + +I went to bed, but could only think of the indiscretion and sadness of my +fair lady. I could not reconcile the two traits in her character. Next +day, knowing that she would be starting early, I posted myself at the +window to see her get into the carriage, but I took care to arrange the +curtain in such a way that I could not be seen. Madame was the last to +get in, and pretending that she wanted to see if it rained, she took off +her bonnet and lifted her head. Drawing the curtain with one hand, and +taking off my cap with the other, I wafted her a kiss with the tips of my +fingers. In her turn she bowed graciously, returning my kiss with a +good-natured smile. + + + + +CHAPTER XIV + +I Leave Zurich--Comic Adventure at Baden--Soleure--M. De Chavigni--M. and +Madame * * * I Act in a Play--I Counterfeit Sickness to Attain Happiness + +M. Mote, my landlord, introduced his two sons to me. He had brought them +up like young princes. In Switzerland, an inn-keeper is not always a man +of no account. There are many who are as much respected as people of far +higher rank are in other countries. But each country has its own manners. +My landlord did the honours of the table, and thought it no degradation +to make his guests pay for the meal. He was right; the only really +degrading thing in the world is vice. A Swiss landlord only takes the +chief place at table to see that everyone is properly attended to. If he +have a son, he does not sit down with his father, but waits on the +guests, with napkin in hand. At Schaffhaus, my landlord's son, who was a +captain in the Imperial army, stood behind my chair and changed my plate, +while his father sat at the head of the table. Anywhere else the son +would have been waited on, but in his father's house he thought, and +rightly, that it was an honour to wait. + +Such are Swiss customs, of which persons of superficial understanding +very foolishly make a jest. All the same, the vaunted honour and loyalty +of the Swiss do not prevent them from fleecing strangers, at least as +much as the Dutch, but the greenhorns who let themselves be cheated, +learn thereby that it is well to bargain before-hand, and then they treat +one well and charge reasonably. In this way, when I was at Bale, I +baffled the celebrated Imhoff, the landlord of the "Three Kings." + +M. Ote complimented me on my waiter's disguise, and said he was sorry not +to have seen me officiating, nevertheless, he said he thought I was wise +not to repeat the jest. He thanked me for the honour I had done his +house, and begged me to do him the additional favour of dining at his +table some day before I left. I answered that I would dine with him with +pleasure that very day. I did so, and was treated like a prince. + +The reader will have guessed that the last look my charmer gave me had +not extinguished the fire which the first sight of her had kindled in my +breast. It had rather increased my flame by giving me hopes of being +better acquainted with her; in short, it inspired me with the idea of +going to Soleure in order to give a happy ending to the adventure. I took +a letter of credit on Geneva, and wrote to Madame d'Urfe, begging her to +give me a written introduction, couched in strong terms to M. de +Chavigni, the French ambassador, telling her that the interests of our +order were highly involved in my knowing this diplomatist, and requesting +her to address letters to me at the post office at Soleure. I also wrote +to the Duke of Wurtemburg, but had no answer from him, and indeed he must +have found my epistle very unpleasant reading. + +I visited the old woman whom Giustiniani had told me of several times +before I left Zurich, and although I ought to have been well satisfied as +far as physical beauty was concerned, my enjoyment was very limited, as +the nymphs I wooed only spoke Swiss dialect--a rugged corruption of +German. I have always found that love without speech gives little +enjoyment, and I cannot imagine a more unsatisfactory mistress than a +mute, were she as lovely as Venus herself. + +I had scarcely left Zurich when I was obliged to stop at Baden to have +the carriage M. Ote had got me mended. I might have started again at +eleven, but on hearing that a young Polish lady on her way to Our Lady of +Einseidel was to dine at the common table, I decided to wait; but I had +my trouble for nothing, as she turned out to be quite unworthy of the +delay. + +After dinner, while my horses were being put in, the host's daughter, a +pretty girl enough, came into the room and made me waltz with her; it +chanced to be a Sunday. All at once her father came in, and the girl +fled. + +"Sir," said the rascal, "you are condemned to pay a fine of one louis." + +"Why?" + +"For having danced on a holy day." + +"Get out; I won't pay." + +"You will pay, though," said he, shewing me a great parchment covered +with writing I did not understand. + +"I will appeal." + +"To whom, sir?" + +"To the judge of the place." + +He left the room, and in a quarter of an hour I was told that the judge +was waiting for me in an adjoining chamber. I thought to myself that the +judges were very polite in that part of the world, but when I got into +the room I saw the rascally host buried in a wig and gown. + +"Sir," said he, "I am the judge." + +"Judge and plaintiff too, as far as I can see." + +He wrote in his book, confirming the sentence, and mulcting me in six +francs for the costs of the case. + +"But if your daughter had not tempted me." said I, "I should not have +danced; she is therefore as guilty as I." + +"Very true, sir; here is a Louis for her." So saying he took a Louis out +of his pocket, put it into a desk beside him, and said; "Now yours." + +I began to laugh, paid my fine, and put off my departure till the morrow. + +As I was going to Lucerne I saw the apostolic nuncio (who invited me to +dinner), and at Fribourg Comte d'Afri's young and charming wife; but at +ten leagues from Soleure I was a witness of the following curious +circumstances. + +I was stopping the night in a village, and had made friends with the +surgeon, whom I had found at the inn, and while supper, which he was to +share with me, was getting ready, we walked about the village together. +It was in the dusk of the evening, and at a distance of a hundred paces I +saw a man climbing up the wall of a house, and finally vanishing through +a window on the first floor. + +"That's a robber," said I, pointing him out to the surgeon. He laughed +and said,-- + +"The custom may astonish you, but it is a common one in many parts of +Switzerland. The man you have just seen is a young lover who is going to +pass the night with his future bride. Next morning he will leave more +ardent than before, as she will not allow him to go too far. If she was +weak enough to yield to his desires he would probably decline to marry +her, and she would find it difficult to get married at all." + +At Soleure I found a letter from Madame d'Urfe, with an enclosure from +the Duc de Choiseul to the ambassador, M. de Chavigni. It was sealed, but +the duke's name was written below the address. + +I made a Court toilet, took a coach, and went to call on the ambassador. +His excellency was not at home, so I left my card and the letter. It was +a feast-day, and I went to high mass, not so much, I confess, to seek for +God as for my charmer, but she was not there. After service I walked +around the town, and on my return found an officer who asked me to dinner +at the ambassador's. + +Madame d'Urfe said that on the receipt of my letter she had gone +straightway to Versailles, and that with the help of Madame de Grammont +she had got me an introduction of the kind I wanted. This was good news +for me, as I desired to cut an imposing figure at Soleure. I had plenty +of money, and I knew that this magic metal glittered in the eyes of all. +M. de Chavigni had been ambassador at Venice thirty years before, and I +knew a number of anecdotes about his adventures there, and I was eager to +see what I could make out of him. + +I went to his house at the time appointed, and found all his servants in +full livery, which I looked upon as a happy omen. My name was not +announced, and I remarked that when I came in both sides of the door were +opened for me by the page. A fine old man came forward to meet me, and +paying me many well-turned compliments introduced me to those present. +Then, with the delicate tact of the courtier, pretending not to recollect +my name, he drew the Duc de Choiseul's letter from his pocket, and read +aloud the paragraph in which the minister desired him to treat me with +the utmost consideration. He made me sit on an easy chair at his right +hand, and asked me questions to which I could only answer that I was +travelling for my pleasure, and that I considered the Swiss nation to be +in many respects superior to all other nations whatsoever. + +Dinner was served, and his excellency set me on his right hand in a +position of equal honour to his own. We were sixteen in company, and +behind every chair stood a magnificent lackey in the ambassador's livery. +In the course of conversation I got an opportunity of telling the +ambassador that he was still spoken of at Venice with the utmost +affection. + +"I shall always remember," he said, "the kindness with which the +Venetians treated me; but tell me, I beg, the names of those gentlemen +who still remember me; they must be quite old now." + +This was what I was waiting for. M. de Malipiero had told me of certain +events which had happened during the regency, and M. de Bragadin had +informed me of the ambassador's amours with the celebrated Stringhetta. + +His excellency's fare was perfect, but in the pleasure of conversing I +forgot that of eating. I told all my anecdotes so racily that his +features expressed the pleasure I was affording him, and when we rose +from the table he shook me by the hand, and told me he had not had so +agreeable a dinner since he had been at Soleure. + +"The recollection of my Venetian gallantries," said the worthy old man, +"makes me recall many a happy moment; I feel quite young again." + +He embraced me, and bade me consider myself as one of his family during +my stay at Soleure. + +After dinner he talked a good deal about Venice, praising the Government, +and saying that there was not a town in the world where a man could fare +better, provided he took care to get good oil and foreign wines. About +five o'clock he asked me to come for a drive with him, getting into the +carriage first to give me the best place. + +We got out at a pretty country house where ices were served to us. On our +way back he said that he had a large party every evening, and that he +hoped I would do him the honour to be present whenever it suited my +inclinations, assuring me that he would do his best to amuse me. I was +impatient to take part in the assembly, as I felt certain I should see my +charmer there. It was a vain hope, however, for I saw several ladies, +some old and ugly, some passable, but not one pretty. + +Cards were produced, and I soon found myself at a table with a young lady +of fair complexion and a plain-looking woman well advanced in years, who +seemed, however, not to be destitute of wit. Though I was looed I played +on, and I lost five or six hundred fish without opening my lips. When it +came to a profit and loss account, the plain woman told me I owed three +louis. + +"Three louis, madam." + +"Yes, sir; we have been playing at two sous the fish. You thought, +perhaps, we were playing for farthings." + +"On the contrary, I thought it was for francs, as I never play lower." +She did not answer this boast of mine, but she seemed annoyed. On +rejoining the company after this wearisome game, I proceeded to +scrutinize all the ladies present rapidly but keenly, but I could not see +her for whom I looked, and was on the point of leaving, when I happened +to notice two ladies who were looking at me attentively. I recognized +them directly. They were two of my fair one's companions, whom I had had +the honour of waiting on at Zurich. I hurried off, pretending not to +recognize them. + +Next day, a gentleman in the ambassador's suite came to tell me that his +excellency was going to call on me. I told him that I would not go out +till I had the honour of receiving his master, and I conceived the idea +of questioning him concerning that which lay next to my heart. However, +he spared me the trouble, as the reader will see for himself. + +I gave M. de Chavigni the best reception I could, and after we had +discussed the weather he told me, with a smile, that he had the most +ridiculous affair to broach to me, begging me to credit him when he said +that he did not believe it for a moment. + +"Proceed, my lord." + +"Two ladies who saw you at my house yesterday told me in confidence, +after you had gone, that I should do well to be on my guard, as you were +the waiter in an inn at Zurich where they had stayed. They added that +they had seen the other waiter by the Aar, and that in all probability +you had run away from the inn together; God alone knows why! They said, +furthermore, that you slipped away from my house yesterday as soon as you +saw them. I told them that even if you were not the bearer of a letter +from his grace the Duc de Choiseul I should have been convinced that they +were mistaken, and that they should dine with you to-day, if they would +accept my invitation. I also hinted that you might have merely disguised +yourself as a waiter in the hopes of winning some favours from them, but +they rejected the hypothesis as absurd, and said that you could carve a +capon and change a plate dexterously enough, but were only a common +waiter for all that, adding that with my permission they would compliment +you on your skill to-day. + +"'Do so, by all means, ladies,' said I, 'M. Casanova and myself will be +highly amused.' And now do you mind telling me whether there be any +foundation of truth in the whole story?" + +"Certainly, my lord, I will tell you all without reserve, but in +confidence, as this ridiculous report may injure the honour of one who is +dear to me, and whom I would not injure for the world." + +"It is true, then? I am quite interested to hear all about it." + +"It is true to a certain extent; I hope you don't take me for the real +waiter at the 'Sword.'" + +"Certainly not, but I supposed you played the part of waiter?" + +"Exactly. Did they tell you that they were four in company." + +"Ah, I have got it! Pretty Madame was one of the party. That explains the +riddle; now I understand everything. But you were quite right in saying +that discretion was needful; she has a perfectly blameless reputation." + +"Ah! I did not know that. What happened was quite innocent, but it might +be so garbled in the telling as to become prejudicial to the honour of a +lady whose beauty struck me with admiration." + +I told him all the details of the case, adding that I had only come to +Soleure in the hopes of succeeding in my suit. + +"If that prove an impossibility," said I, "I shall leave Soleure in three +or four days; but I will first turn the three ugly companions of my +charmer into ridicule. They might have had sense enough to guess that the +waiter's apron was only a disguise. They can only pretend to be ignorant +of the fact in the hope of getting some advantage over me, and injuring +their friend, who was ill advised to let them into the secret." + +"Softly, softly, you go too fast and remind me of my own young days. +Permit me to embrace you, your story has delighted me. You shall not go +away, you shall stay here and court your charmer. To-day you can turn two +mischievous women into ridicule, but do it in an easy way. The thing is +so straightforward that M.---- will be the first to laugh at it. His wife +cannot be ignorant of your love for her, and I know enough of women to +pronounce that your disguise cannot have displeased her. She does know of +your love?" + +"Undoubtedly." + +He went away laughing, and at the door of his coach embraced me for the +third time. + +I could not doubt that my charmer had told the whole story to her three +friends as they were returning from Einsiedel to Zurich, and this made +the part they had played all the more ill-natured; but I felt that it was +to my interest to let their malice pass for wit. + +I went to the ambassador's at half-past one, and after making my bow to +him I proceeded to greet the company, and saw the two ladies. Thereupon, +with a frank and generous air, I went up to the more malicious-looking of +the two (she was lame, which may have made me think her more ill-looking) +and asked if she recognized me. + +"You confess, then, that you are the waiter at the 'Sword'?" + +"Well, not quite that, madam, but I confess that I was the waiter for an +hour, and that you cruelly disdained to address a single word to me, +though I was only a waiter, because I longed for the bliss of seeing you. +But I hope I shall be a little more fortunate here, and that you will +allow me to pay you my respectful homage." + +"This is very wonderful! You played your part so well that the sharpest +eye would have been deceived. Now we shall see if you play your new part +as well. If you do me the honour to call on me I will give you a good +welcome." + +After these complimentary speeches, the story became public property, and +the whole table was amusing itself with it, when I had the happiness of +seeing M.---- and Madame coming into the room. + +"There is the good-natured waiter," said she to her husband. + +The worthy man stepped forward, and politely thanked me for having done +his wife the honour of taking off her boots. + +This told me that she had concealed nothing, and I was glad. Dinner was +served, M. de Chavigni made my charmer sit at his right hand, and I was +placed between my two calumniators. I was obliged to hide my game, so, +although I disliked them intensely, I made love to them, hardly raising +my eyes to glance at Madame, who looked ravishing. I did not find her +husband either as old or as jealous as I had expected. The ambassador +asked him and his wife to stay the evening to an impromptu ball, and then +said, that in order for me to be able to tell the Duc de Choiseul that I +was well amused at Soleure, he would be delighted to have a play, if +Madame would act the fair 'Ecossaise' again. She said she should be +delighted, but two more actors were wanted. + +"That is all right," said the kind old gentleman, "I will play Montrose." + +"And I, Murray," I remarked. + +My lame friend, angry at this arrangement, which only left her the very +bad part of Lady Alton, could not help lancing a shaft at me. + +"Oh! why isn't there a waiter's part in the play?" said she, "you would +play it so well." + +"That is well said, but I hope you will teach me to play Murray even +better." + +Next morning, I got the words of my part, and the ambassador told me that +the ball would be given in my honour. After dinner I went to my inn, and +after making an elaborate toilette I returned to the brilliant company. + +The ambassador begged me to open the ball, and introduced me to the +highest born but not the most beautiful lady in the place. I then danced +with all the ladies present until the good-natured old man got me the +object of my vows as a partner in the quadrilles, which he did so easily +that no one could have made any remark. "Lord Murray," said he, "must +dance with no one but Lindane." + +At the first pause I took the opportunity of saying that I had only come +to Soleure for her sake, that it was for her sake that I had disguised +myself at Zurich, and that I hoped she would permit me to pay my +addresses to her. + +"I cannot invite you to my house," said she, "for certain sufficient +reasons; but if you will stay here some time we shall be able to see each +other. But I entreat you not to shew me any marked attention in public, +for there are those who will spy upon our actions, and it is not pleasant +to be talked about." + +I was quite satisfied with this, and told her that I would do all in my +power to please her, and that the most prying eyes should have nothing to +fix on. I felt that the pleasure I looked forward to would be rendered +all the sweeter by a tincture of mystery. + +I had proclaimed myself as a novice in the mimic art, and had entreated +my lame friend to be kind enough to instruct me. I therefore went to her +in the morning, but she could only flatter herself that hers was a +reflected light, as I had opportunities for paying my court to my charmer +in her house, and however great her vanity may have been, she must have +had some suspicions of the truth. + +This woman was a widow, aged between thirty and forty years, of a +jaundiced complexion, and a piercing and malicious aspect. In her efforts +to hide the inequality of her legs, she walked with a stiff and awkward +air; and, wishing to be thought a wit, she increased her natural dullness +by a ceaseless flow of small talk. I persisted in behaving towards her +with a great air of respect, and one day she said that, having seen me in +the disguise of a waiter, she would not have thought I was a man of a +timid nature. + +"In what respect do you think me timid?" said I; to which she gave me no +answer, but I knew perfectly well what she meant. I was tired of my part, +and I had determined to play it no more when we had acted L'Ecossaise. + +All the best people at Soleure were present at our first performance. The +lame lady was delighted with the horror inspired by her acting; but she +might credit a great deal of it to her appearance. M. de Chavigni drew +forth the tears of the audience, his acting was said to be better than +the great Voltaire's. As for me, I remember how near I was to fainting +when, in the third scene of the fifth act, Lindane said to me, + +"What! You! You dare to love me?" + +She pronounced these words with such fiery scorn that all the spectators +applauded vehemently. I was almost put out of countenance, for I thought +I detected in her voice an insult to my honour. However, I collected +myself in the minute's respite which the loud applause gave me, and I +replied,--- + +"Yes; I adore you! How should I not?" + +So pathetically and tenderly did I pronounce these words that the hall +rang again with the applause, and the encores from four hundred throats +made me repeat the words which, indeed, came from my heart. + +In spite of the pleasure we had given to the audience, we judged +ourselves not perfect in our parts, and M. de Chavigni advised us to put +off our second performance for a couple of days. + +"We will have a rehearsal to-morrow at my country house," said he, "and I +beg the favour of all your companies to dinner there." + +However, we all made each other compliments on our acting. My lame friend +told me I had played well, but not so well as in the part of waiter, +which really suited me admirably. This sarcasm got the laugh on her side, +but I returned it by telling her that my performance was a work of art, +while her playing of Lady Alton was pure nature. M. de Chavigni told +Madame that the spectators were wrong to applaud when she expressed her +wonder at my loving her, since she had spoken the words disdainfully; and +it was impossible that Lindane could have despised Murray. The ambassador +called for me the next day in his carriage, and when we reached his +country-house we found all the actors assembled there. His excellency +addressed himself in the first place to M.----, telling him he thought +his business was as good as done, and that they would talk about it after +dinner. We sat down to table, and afterwards rehearsed the piece without +any need of the prompter's assistance. + +Towards evening the ambassador told the company that he would expect them +to supper that evening at Soleure, and everyone left with the exception +of the ambassador, myself, and M.---- and Madame----. Just as we were +going I had an agreeable surprise. + +"Will you come with me," said the Ambassador to M.----, "we can talk the +matter over at our ease? M. Casanova will have the honour of keeping +your wife company in your carriage." + +I gave the fair lady my hand respectfully, and she took it with an air of +indifference, but as I was helping her in she pressed my hand with all +her might. The reader can imagine how that pressure made my blood +circulate like fire in my veins. + +Thus we were seated side by side, our knees pressed tenderly against each +other. Half an hour seemed like a minute, but it must not be thought that +we wasted the time. Our lips were glued together, and were not set apart +till we came within ten paces of the ambassador's house, which I could +have wished at ten leagues distance. She was the first to get down, and I +was alarmed to see the violent blush which overspread her whole face. +Such redness looked unnatural; it might betray us; our spring of +happiness would soon be dry. The watchful eye of the envious Alton would +be fixed upon us, and not in vain; her triumph would outweigh her +humiliation. I was at my wits' end. + +Love and luck, which have so favoured me throughout the course of my +life, came to my aid. I had about me a small box containing hellebore. I +opened it as if by instinct, and invited her to take a small pinch. She +did so, and I followed her example; but the dose was too strong, and as +we were going up the stairs we began to sneeze, and for the next quarter +of an hour we continued sneezing. People were obliged to attribute her +high colour to the sneezing, or at least no one could give voice to any +other suppositions. When the sneezing fit was over, this woman, who was +as clever as she was pretty, said her headache was gone, but she would +take care another time not to take so strong a dose. I looked out of the +corner of my eye at the malicious widow, who said nothing but seemed deep +in thought. + +This piece of good luck decided me on staying at Soleure till my love was +crowned with success, and I determined to take a country house. I shall +not have much opinion of my readers if they find themselves in my +position--rich, young, independent, full of fire, and having only +pleasure to seek for--and do not follow my example. A perfect beauty was +before me with whom I was madly in love, and who, I was sure, shared that +love. I had plenty of money, and I was my own master. I thought this a +much better plan than turning monk, and I was above caring "what people +would say." As soon as the ambassador had returned, which he always did +at an early hour on account of his advanced age, I left the company and +went to see him in his private room. In truth I felt I must give him that +confidence which he had so well deserved. + +As soon as he saw me he said,-- + +"Well, well, did you profit by the interview I got you?" + +I embraced him, and said,-- + +"I may hope for everything." + +When I was telling him about the hellebore he was lavish in his +compliments on my presence of mind, for, as he said, such an unusual +colour would have made people think there had been some kind of a +combat--a supposition which would not have tended towards my success. +After I had told him all, I imparted my plan. + +"I shall do nothing in a hurry," said I, "as I have to take care that the +lady's honour does not suffer, and I trust to time to see the +accomplishment of my wishes. I shall want a pretty country house, a good +carriage, two lackeys, a good cook, and a housekeeper. All that I leave +to your excellency, as I look upon you as my refuge and guardian angel." + +"To-morrow, without fail, I will see what I can do, and I have good hopes +of doing you a considerable service and of rendering you well content +with the attractions of Soleure." + +Next day our rehearsal went off admirably, and the day after the +ambassador spoke to me as follows: + +"So far as I can see, what you are aiming at in this intrigue is the +satisfying of your desires without doing any harm to the lady's +reputation. I think I know the nature of your love for her well enough to +say that if she told you that your leaving Soleure was necessary to her +peace of mind you would leave her at once. You see that I have sounded +you well enough to be a competent adviser in this delicate and important +affair, to which the most famous events in the annals of diplomacy are +not to be compared." + +"Your excellency does not do sufficient justice to a career which has +gained you such distinction." + +"That's because I am an old man, my dear fellow, and have shaken off the +rust and dust of prejudices, and am able to see things as they really +are, and appreciate them at their true value. But let us return to your +love-affair. If you wish to keep it in the dark, you must avoid with the +greatest care any action which may awaken suspicion in the minds of +people who do not believe that anything is indifferent. The most +malicious and censorious will not be able to get anything but the merest +chance out of the interview I procured you today, and the accident of the +sneezing bout, defy the most ill-natured to draw any deductions; for an +eager lover does not begin his suit by sending the beloved one into +convulsions. Nobody can guess that your hellebore was used to conceal the +blush that your caresses occasioned, since it does not often happen that +an amorous combat leaves such traces; and how can you be expected to have +foreseen the lady's blushes, and to have provided yourself with a +specific against them? In short, the events of to-day will not disclose +your secret. M.---- who, although he wishes to pass for a man devoid of +jealousy, is a little jealous; M.---- himself cannot have seen anything +out of the common in my asking him to return with me, as I had business +of importance with him, and he has certainly no reasons for supposing +that I should be likely to help you to intrigue with his wife. +Furthermore, the laws of politeness would have forbidden me, under any +circumstances, offering the lady the place I offered him, and as he +prides himself on his politeness he can raise no possible objection to +the arrangement which was made. To be sure I am old and you are young--a +distinction not unimportant in a husband's eyes." After this exordium, +added the good-natured ambassador, with a laugh, "an exordium which I +have delivered in the official style of a secretary of state, let us see +where we are. Two things are necessary for you to obtain your wished-for +bliss. The first thing, which concerns you more particularly, is to make +M.---- your friend, and to conceal from him that you have conceived a +passion for his wife, and here I will aid you to the best of my ability. +The second point concerns the lady's honour; all your relations with her +must appear open and above-board. Consider yourself under my protection; +you must not even take a country house before we have found out some plan +for throwing dust into the eyes of the observant. However, you need not +be anxious; I have hit upon a plan. + +"You must pretend to be taken ill, but your illness must be of such a +kind that your doctor will be obliged to take your word for the symptoms. +Luckily, I know a doctor whose sole idea is to order country air for all +complaints. This physician, who is about as clever as his brethren, and +kills or cures as well as any of them, will come and feel my pulse one of +these days. You must take his advice, and for a couple of louis he will +write you a prescription with country air as the chief item. He will then +inform everybody that your case is serious, but that he will answer for +your cure." + +"What is his name?" + +"Doctor Herrenschwand." + +"What is he doing here? I knew him at Paris; he was Madame du Rumain's +doctor." + +"That is his brother. Now find out some polite complaint, which will do +you credit with the public. It will be easy enough to find a house, and I +will get you an excellent cook to make your gruel and beef-tea." + +The choice of a complaint cost me some thought; I had to give it a good +deal of attention. The same evening I managed to communicate my plan to +Madame who approved of it. I begged her to think of some way of writing +to me, and she said she would. + +"My husband," said she, "has a very high opinion of you. He has taken no +offence at our coming in the same carriage. But tell me, was it an +accident or design that made M. de Chavigni take my husband and leave us +together?" + +"It was the result of design, dearest." She raised her beautiful eyes and +bit her lips. "Are you sorry it was so?" + +"Alas! no." + +In three or four days, on the day on which we were going to act +L'Ecossaise, the doctor came to dine with the ambassador and stayed till +the evening to see the play. At dessert he complimented me on my good +health, on which I took the opportunity, and told him that appearances +were deceitful, and that I should be glad to consult him the next day. No +doubt he was delighted to be deceived in his estimate of my health, and +he said he should be glad if he could be of any service. He called on me +at the hour agreed upon, and I told him such symptoms as my fancy +dictated; amongst other things, that I was subject to certain nocturnal +irritations which made me extremely weak, especially in the reins. + +"Quite so, quite so; it's a troublesome thing, but we will see what can +be done. My first remedy, which you may possibly not care much for, is +for you to pass six weeks in the country, where you will not see those +objects which impress your brain, acting on the seventh pair of nerves, +and causing that lumbar discharge which no doubt leaves you in a very +depressed state." + +"Yes, it certainly does." + +"Quite so, quite so. My next remedy is cold bathing." + +"Are the baths far from here?" + +"They are wherever you like. I will write you a prescription, and the +druggist will make it up." + +I thanked him, and after he had pouched the double-louis I slipped +politely into his hand, he went away assuring me that I should soon +experience an improvement in my health. By the evening the whole town +knew that I was ill and had to go into the country. M. de Chavigni said +pleasantly at dinner to the doctor, that he should have forbidden me all +feminine visitors; and my lame friend, refining on the idea, added that I +should above all be debarred access to certain portraits, of which I had +a box-full. I laughed approvingly, and begged M. de Chavigni, in the +presence of the company, to help me to find a pretty house and a good +cook, as I did not intend to take my meals alone. + +I was tired of playing a wearisome part, and had left off going to see my +lame friend, but she soon reproached me for my inconstancy, telling me +that I had made a tool of her. "I know all," said this malicious woman, +"and I will be avenged." + +"You cannot be avenged for nothing," said I, "for I have never done you +an injury. However, if you intend to have me assassinated, I shall apply +for police protection." + +"We don't assassinate here," said she, savagely. "We are not Italians." + +I was delighted to be relieved from the burden of her society, and +henceforth Madame was the sole object of my thoughts. M. de Chavigni, who +seemed to delight in serving me, made her husband believe that I was the +only person who could get the Duc de Choiseul to pardon a cousin of his +who was in the guards, and had had the misfortune to kill his man in a +duel. "This," said the kindly old gentleman, "is the best way possible of +gaining the friendship of your rival. Do you think you can manage it?" + +"I am not positive of success." + +"Perhaps I have gone a little too far; but I told him that by means of +your acquaintance with the Duchesse de Grammont you could do anything +with the minister." + +"I must make you a true prophet; I will do all I can." + +The consequence was that M.---- informed me of the facts in the +ambassador's presence, and brought me all the papers relative to the +case. + +I spent the night in writing to the Duchesse de Grammont. I made my +letter as pathetic as possible, with a view to touching her heart, and +then her father's; and I then wrote to the worthy Madame d'Urfe telling +her that the well-being of the sublime order of the Rosy Cross was +concerned in the pardon of a Swiss officer, who had been obliged to leave +the kingdom on account of a duel in which the order was highly concerned. + +In the morning, after resting for an hour, I went to the ambassador, and +shewed him the letter I had written to the duchess. He thought it +excellently expressed, and advised me to skew it to M.---- I found him +with his night-cap on; he was extremely grateful for the interest I took +in a matter which was so near to his heart. He told me that his wife had +not yet risen, and asked me to wait and take breakfast with her. I should +have much liked to accept the invitation, but I begged him to make my +excuses to his lady for my absence, on the pretence that I had to finish +my letters, and hand them to the courier who was just leaving. I hoped in +this way to scatter any jealousy that might be hovering in his brain, by +the slight importance I attached to a meeting with his wife. + +I went to dine with M. de Chavigni, who thought my conduct had been very +politic, and said that he was certain that henceforth M.---- would be my +best friend. He then skewed me a letter from Voltaire thanking him for +playing Montrose in his Ecossaise; and another from the Marquis de +Chauvelin, who was then at Delices with the philosopher of Ferney. He +promised to come and see him after he had been to Turin, where he had +been appointed ambassador. + + + + +CHAPTER XV + +My Country House--Madame Dubois--Malicious Trick Played on Me by My Lame +Enemy--My Vexation + +There was a reception and a supper at the Court, as they styled the hotel +of M. de Chavigni, or rather of the ambassador of the King of France in +Switzerland. As I came in I saw my charmer sitting apart reading a +letter. I accosted her, apologizing for not having stayed to breakfast, +but she said I had done quite right, adding that if I had not chosen a +country house she hoped I would take one her husband would probably +mention to me that evening. She could not say any more, as she was called +away to a game at quadrille. For my part I did not play, but wandered +from one table to another. + +At supper everybody talked to me about my health, and my approaching stay +in the country. This gave M.---- an opportunity to mention a delightful +house near the Aar; "but," he added, "it is not to be let for less than +six months." + +"If I like it," I replied, "and am free to leave it when I please, I will +willingly pay the six months' rent in advance." + +"There is a fine hall in it." + +"All the better; I will give a ball as evidence of my gratitude to the +people of Soleure for the kind welcome I have received from them." + +"Would you like to come and see it to-morrow?" + +"With pleasure." + +"Very good, then I will call for you at eight o'clock, if that hour will +suit you." + +"I shall expect you." + +When I got back to my lodging I ordered a travelling carriage and four, +and the next morning, before eight o'clock, I called for M. who was +ready, and seemed flattered at my anticipating him. + +"I made my wife promise to come with us; but she is a sluggard, who +prefers her bed to the fresh air." + +In less than an hour we reached our journey's end, and I found the house +a beautiful one and large enough to lodge the whole court of a prince of +the Holy Roman Empire. Besides the hall, which I thought magnificent, I +noted with great pleasure a closet arranged as a boudoir, and covered +with the most exquisite pictures. A fine garden, fountains, baths, +several well-furnished rooms, a good kitchen--in a word, everything +pleased me, and I begged M.---- to arrange for me to take up my abode +there in two days' time. + +When we got back to Soleure, Madame told me how pleased she was that I +liked the house; and seizing the opportunity, I said that I hoped they +would often do me the honour of dining with me. They promised they would +do so. I drew from my pocket a packet containing a hundred louis, which I +gave M.---- to pay the rent. I then embraced him, and after imprinting a +respectful kiss on the hand of his fair mate I went to M. de Chavigni, +who approved of my having taken the house as it pleased my lady, and +asked me if it was true that I was going to give a ball. + +"Yes, if I see any prospect of its being a brilliant one, and if I have +your approbation." + +"You need have no doubts on that point, my dear fellow, and whatever you +can't find in the shops come to me for. Come, I see you are going to +spend a little money. It is a good plan, and overcomes many difficulties. +In the meanwhile you shall have two footmen, an excellent cook, a +housekeeper, and whatever other servants you require. The head of my +household will pay them, and you can settle with him afterwards, he is a +trustworthy man. I will come now and then and take a spoonful of soup +with you, and you shall reward me for what services I may have done you +by telling me how things are getting on. I have a great esteem for your +charming friend, her discretion is beyond her years, and the pledges of +love you will obtain of her will doubtless increase your passion and your +esteem. Is she aware that I know all?" + +"She knows that we are firm friends, and she is glad of it, as she is +sure that you will be discreet." + +"She may count on my discretion. She is really a delicious woman; I +should have been tempted to seduce her myself thirty years ago." + +A druggist, whom the doctor had recommended to me, set out the same day +to get ready the baths which were to cure me of my imaginary complaint, +and in two days I went myself, after having given Le Duc orders to bring +my baggage on. + +I was extremely surprised, on entering the apartment I was to occupy, to +see a pretty young woman who came up to me in a modest way to kiss my +hand. I stopped her doing so, and my astonished air made her blush. + +"Do you belong to the household?" I said. + +"The ambassador's steward has engaged me as your housekeeper." + +"Pardon my surprise. Take me to my room." + +She obeyed, and sitting down on the couch I begged her to sit beside me. + +"That is an honour," said she, in the most polite and modest way, "I +cannot allow myself. I am only your servant." + +"Very good, but when I am alone I hope you will consent to take your +meals with me, as I don't like eating by myself." + +"I will do so, sir." + +"Where is your room?" + +"This is the one the steward assigned to me, but you have only to speak +if you wish me to sleep in another." + +"Not at all; it will do very well." + +Her room was just behind the recess in which my bed stood. I went in with +her and was astonished to see a great display of dresses, and in an +adjoining closet all the array of the toilette, linen in abundance, and a +good stock of shoes and embroidered slippers. Dumb with surprise I looked +at her, and was thoroughly satisfied with what I saw. Nevertheless I +determined to subject her to a close examination, as I thought her +manners too interesting and her linen too extensive for her to be a mere +servant. All at once I was struck with the idea that it might be a trick +of the ambassador's, for a fine woman, well educated, and aged +twenty-four or at the most twenty-five years, seemed to me more fitted to +be my mistress than my housekeeper. I therefore asked her if she knew the +ambassador, and what wages she was to receive. She replied that she only +knew M. de Chavigni by sight, and that the steward had promised her two +louis a month and her meals in her own room. + +"Where do you come from? What's your name?" + +"I come from Lyons; I am a widow, and my name is Dubois." + +"I am delighted to have you in my service. I shall see you again." + +She then left me, and I could not help thinking her a very interesting +woman, as her speech was as dignified as her appearance. I went down to +the kitchen and found the cook, an honest-looking fellow, who told me his +name was Rosier. I had known his brother in the service of the French +ambassador at Venice. He told me that supper would be ready at nine +o'clock. + +"I never eat by myself," said I. + +"So I hear, sir; and I will serve supper accordingly." + +"What are your wages?" + +"Four louis a month." + +I then went to see the rest of my people. I found two sharp-looking +footmen, and the first of them told me he would see I had what wine I +wanted. Then I inspected my bath, which seemed convenient. An apothecary +was preparing certain matters for my imaginary cure. Finally, I took a +walk round my garden, and before going in I went into the gate-keeper's, +where I found a numerous family, and some girls who were not to be +despised. I was delighted to hear everybody speak French, and I talked +with them some time. + +When I got back to my room, I found Le Duc occupied in unpacking my +mails; and telling him to give my linen to Madame Dubois, I went into a +pretty cabinet adjoining, where there was a desk and all materials +necessary for writing. This closet had only one window facing north, but +it commanded a view capable of inspiring the finest thoughts. I was +amusing myself with the contemplation of this sublime prospect, when I +heard a knock at my door. It was my pretty housekeeper, who wore a modest +and pleasant expression, and did not in the least resemble a person who +bears a complaint. + +"What can I do for you, madam?" + +"I hope you will be good enough to order your man to be polite to me?" + +"Certainly; how has he failed in politeness?" + +"He might possibly tell you in no respect. He wanted to kiss me, and as I +refused he thought himself justified in being rather insolent." + +"How?" + +"By laughing at me. You will pardon me, sir, but I do not like people who +make game." + +"You are right; they are sure to be either silly or malicious. Make +yourself easy; Le Duc shall understand that you are to be treated with +respect. You will please sup with me." + +Le Duc came in soon after, and I told him to behave respectfully towards +Madame Dubois. + +"She's a sly cat," said the rascal; "she wouldn't let me kiss her." + +"I am afraid you are a bad fellow." + +"Is she your servant or your mistress?" + +"She might be my wife." + +"Oh! well, that's different. That will do; Madame Dubois shall have all +respect, and I will try my luck somewhere else." + +I had a delicious supper. I was contented with my cook, my butler, my +housekeeper, and even with my Spaniard, who waited capitally at table. + +After supper I sent out Le Duc and the other servant, and as soon as I +was alone with my too lovely housekeeper, who had behaved at table like a +woman of the world, I begged her to tell me her history. + +"My history, sir, is short enough, and not very interesting. I was--born +at Lyons, and my relations took me to Lausanne, as I have been told, for +I was too young at the time to remember anything about it. My father, who +was in the service of Madame d'Ermance, left me an orphan when I was +fourteen. Madame d'Ermance was fond of me, and knowing that my mother's +means were small she took me to live with her. I had attained my +seventeenth year when I entered the service of Lady Montagu as lady's +maid, and some time after I was married to Dubois, an old servant of the +house. We went to England, and three years after my marriage I lost my +husband. The climate of England affected my lungs, and I was obliged to +beg my lady to allow me to leave her service. The worthy lady saw how +weak I was, and paid the expenses of my journey and loaded me with rich +presents. I returned to my mother at Lausanne, where my health soon +returned, and I went into the service of an English lady who was very +fond of me, and would have taken me with her to Italy if she had not +conceived some suspicions about the young Duke of Rosebury, with whom she +was in love, and whom she thought in love with me. She suspected me, but +wrongfully, of being her rival in secret. She sent me away, after giving +me rich presents, and saying how sorry she was she could not keep me. I +went back to my mother, and for two years I have lived with the toil of +my hands. Four days ago M. Lebel, the ambassador's steward, asked me if I +would enter the service of an Italian gentleman as housekeeper. I agreed, +in the hope of seeing Italy, and this hope is the cause of my stupidity. +In short: here I am." + +"What stupidity are you referring to?" + +"The stupidity of having entered your service before I knew you." + +"I like your freedom. You would not have come, then, if you had not known +me?" + +"Certainly not, for no lady will ever take me after having been with +you." + +"Why not? may I ask." + +"Well, sir; do you think you are the kind of man to have a house-keeper +like myself without the public believing my situation to be of quite a +different nature?" + +"No, you are too pretty, and I don't look like a fossil, certainly; but +after all, what matter does it make?" + +"It is all very well for you to make light of it, and if I were in your +place I would do the same; but how am I, who am a woman and not in an +independent position, to set myself above the rules and regulations of +society?" + +"You mean, Madame Dubois, that you would very much like to go back to +Lausanne?" + +"Not exactly, as that would not be just to you." + +"How so?" + +"People would be sure to say that either your words or your deeds were +too free, and you might possibly pass a rather uncharitable judgment on +me." + +"What judgment could I pass on you?" + +"You might think I wanted to impose on you." + +"That might be, as I should be very much hurt by so sudden and +uncalled-for a departure. All the same I am sorry for you, as with your +ideas you can neither go nor stay with any satisfaction. Nevertheless, +you must do one or the other." + +"I have made up my mind. I shall stay, and I am almost certain I shall +not regret it." + +"I am glad to hear that, but there is one point to which I wish to call +your attention." + +"What is that?" + +"I will tell you. Let us have no melancholy and no scruples." + +"You shall not see me melancholy, I promise you; but kindly explain what +you mean by the word 'scruples.'" + +"Certainly. In its ordinary acceptation, the word 'scruple' signifies a +malicious and superstitious whim, which pronounces an action which may be +innocent to be guilty." + +"When a course of action seems doubtful to me, I never look upon the +worst side of it. Besides, it is my duty to look after myself and not +other people." + +"I see you have read a good deal." + +"Reading is my greatest luxury. Without books I should find life +unbearable." + +"Have you any books?" + +"A good many. Do you understand English?" + +"Not a word." + +"I am sorry for that, as the English books would amuse you." + +"I do not care for romances." + +"Nor do I. But you don't think that there are only romances in English, +do you? I like that. Why do you take me for such a lover of the +romantic, pray?" + +"I like that, too. That pretty outburst is quite to my taste, and I am +delighted to be the first to make you laugh." + +"Pardon me if I laugh, but . . ." + +"But me no buts, my dear; laugh away just as you like, you will find that +the best way to get over me. I really think, though, that you put your +services at too cheap a rate." + +"That makes me laugh again, as it is for you to increase my wages if you +like." + +"I shall take care that it is done." + +I rose from table, not taken, but surprised, with this young woman, who +seemed to be getting on my blind side. She reasoned well, and in this +first interview she had made a deep impression on me. She was young, +pretty, elegant, intellectual, and of distinguished manners; I could not +guess what would be the end of our connection. I longed to speak to M. +Lebel, to thank him for getting me such a marvel, and still more, to ask +him some questions about her. + +After the supper had been taken away, she came to ask if I would have my +hair put in curl papers. + +"It's Le Duc's business," I answered, "but if you like, it shall be yours +for the future." + +She acquitted herself like an expert. + +"I see," said I, "that you are going to serve me as you served Lady +Montagu." + +"Not altogether; but as you do not like melancholy, allow me to ask a +favour." + +"Do so, my dear." + +"Please do not ask me to give you your bath." + +"Upon my honour, I did not think of doing so. It would be scandalous. +That's Le Duc's business." + +"Pardon me, and allow me to ask another favour." + +"Tell me everything you want." + +"Allow me to have one of the door-keeper's daughters to sleep with me." + +"If it had come into my head, I would have proposed it to you. Is she in +your room now?" + +"No." + +"Go and call her, then." + +"Let us leave that till to-morrow, as if I went at this time of night it +might make people talk." + +"I see you have a store of discretion, and you may be sure I will not +deprive you of any of it." + +She helped me to undress, and must have found me very modest, but I must +say it was not from virtue. My heart was engaged elsewhere, and Madame +Dubois had impressed me; I was possibly duped by her, but I did not +trouble myself to think whether I was or not. I rang for Le Duc in the +morning, and on coming in he said he had not expected the honour. + +"You're a rascal," I said, "get two cups of chocolate ready directly +after I have had my bath." + +After I had taken my first cold bath, which I greatly enjoyed, I went to +bed again. Madame Dubois came in smiling, dressed in a style of careless +elegance. + +"You look in good spirits." + +"I am, because I am happy with you. I have had a good night, and there is +now in my room a girl as lovely as an angel, who is to sleep with me." + +"Call her in." + +She called her, and a monster of ugliness entered, who made me turn my +head away. + +"You haven't given yourself a rival certainly, my dear, but if she suits +you it is all right. You shall have your breakfast with me, and I hope +you will take chocolate with me every morning." + +"I shall be delighted, as I am very fond of it." + +I had a pleasant afternoon. M. de Chavigni spent several hours with me. +He was pleased with everything, and above all with my fair housekeeper, +of whom Lebel had said nothing to him. + +"She will be an excellent cure for your love for Madame," said he. + +"There you are wrong," I answered, "she might make me fall in love with +her without any diminution of my affection for my charmer." + +Next day, just as I was sitting down to table with my housekeeper, I saw +a carriage coming into the courtyard, and my detestable lame widow +getting out of it. I was terribly put out, but the rules of politeness +compelled me to go and receive her. + +"I was far from anticipating that you would do me so great an honour, +madam." + +"I daresay; I have come to dine with you, and to ask you to do me a +favour." + +"Come in, then, dinner is just being served. I beg to introduce Madame +Dubois to you." + +I turned towards my charming housekeeper, and told her that the lady +would dine with us. + +Madame Dubois, in the character of mistress of the house, did the honours +admirably, and my lame friend, in spite of her pride, was very polite to +her. I did not speak a dozen words during the meal, and paid no sort of +attention to the detestable creature; but I was anxious to know what she +could want me to do for her. As soon as Madame Dubois had left the room +she told me straight out that she had come to ask me to let her have a +couple of rooms in my house for three weeks or a month at the most. + +I was astonished at such a piece of impudence, and told her she asked +more than I was at liberty to give. + +"You can't refuse me, as everybody knows I have come on purpose to ask +you." + +"Then everybody must know that I have refused you. I want to be +alone--absolutely alone, without any kind of restriction on my liberty. +The least suspicion of company would bore me." + +"I shall not bore you in any way, and you will be at perfect liberty to +ignore my presence. I shall not be offended if you don't enquire after +me, and I shall not ask after you--even if you are ill. I shall have my +meals served to me by my own servant, and I shall take care not to walk +in the garden unless I am perfectly certain you are not there. You must +allow that if you have any claims to politeness you cannot refuse me." + +"If you were acquainted with the most ordinary rules of politeness, +madam, you would not persist in a request to which I have formally +declined to accede." + +She did not answer, but my words had evidently produced no effect. I was +choking with rage. I strode up and down the room, and felt inclined to +send her away by force as a madwoman. However, I reflected that she had +relations in a good position whom I might offend if I treated her +roughly, and that I might make an enemy capable of exacting a terrible +revenge; and, finally, that Madame might disapprove of my using violence +to this hideous harpy.... + +"Well, madam," said I, "you shall have the apartment you have solicited +with so much importunity, and an hour after you come in I shall be on my +way back to Soleure." + +"I accept the apartment, and I shall occupy it the day after to-morrow. +As for your threat of returning to Soleure, it is an idle one, as you +would thereby make yourself the laughing-stock of the whole town." + +With this final impertinence she rose and went away, without taking any +further notice of me. I let her go without moving from my seat. I was +stupefied. I repented of having given in; such impudence was +unparalleled. I called myself a fool, and vowed I deserved to be publicly +hooted. I ought to have taken the whole thing as a jest; to have +contrived to get her out of the house on some pretext, and then to have +sent her about her business as a madwoman, calling all my servants as +witnesses. + +My dear Dubois came in, and I told my tale. She was thunderstruck. + +"I can hardly credit her requesting, or your granting, such a thing," +said she, "unless you have some motives of your own." + +I saw the force of her argument, and not wishing to make a confidante of +her I held my tongue, and went out to work off my bile. + +I came in tired, after taking a stiff walk. I took supper with Madame +Dubois, and we sat at table till midnight. Her conversation pleased me +more and more; her mind was well-furnished, her speech elegant, and she +told her stories and cracked her jokes with charming grace. She was +devoid of prejudices, but by no means devoid of principle. Her discretion +was rather the result of system than of virtue; but if she had not a +virtuous spirit, her system would not have shielded her from the storms +of passion or the seductions of vice. + +My encounter with the impudent widow had so affected me that I could not +resist going at an early hour on the following day to communicate it to +M. de Chavigni. I warned Madame Dubois that if I were not back by +dinner-time she was not to wait for me. + +M. de Chavigni had been told by my enemy that she was going to pay me a +visit, but he roared with laughter on hearing the steps she had taken to +gain her ends. + +"Your excellency may find it very funny," said I, "but I don't." + +"So I see; but take my advice, and be the first to laugh at the +adventure. Behave as if you were unaware of her presence, and that will +be a sufficient punishment for her. People will soon say she is smitten +with you, and that you disdain her love. Go and tell the story to M.----, +and stay without ceremony to dinner. I have spoken to Lebel about your +pretty housekeeper: the worthy man had no malicious intent in sending her +to you. He happened to be going to Lausanne, and just before, I had told +him to find you a good housekeeper; thinking it over on his way, he +remembered his friend Madame Dubois, and the matter was thus arranged +without malice or pretense. She is a regular find, a perfect jewel for +you, and if you get taken with her I don't think she will allow you to +languish for long." + +"I don't know, she seems to be a woman of principle." + +"I shouldn't have thought you would be taken in by that sort of thing. I +will ask you both to give me a dinner to-morrow, and shall be glad to +hear her chatter." + +M---- welcomed me most kindly, and congratulated me on my conquest, which +would make my country house a paradise. I joined in the jest, of course, +with the more ease that his charming wife, though I could see that she +suspected the truth, added her congratulations to those of her husband; +but I soon changed the course of their friendly mirth by telling them the +circumstances of the case. They were indignant enough then, and the +husband said that if she had really quartered herself on me in that +fashion, all I had to do was to get an injunction from the courts +forbidding her to put her foot within my doors. + +"I don't want to do that," said I, "as besides publicly disgracing her I +should be skewing my own weakness, and proclaiming that I was not the +master in my own house, and that I could not prevent her establishing +herself with me." + +"I think so, too," said the wife, "and I am glad you gave way to her. +That shews how polite you are, and I shall go and call on her to +congratulate her on the welcome she got, as she told me that her plans +had succeeded." + +Here the matter ended, and I accepted their invitation to dine with them. +I behaved as a friend, but with that subtle politeness which takes away +all ground for suspicion; accordingly, the husband felt no alarm. My +charmer found the opportunity to tell me that I had done wisely in +yielding to the ill-timed demand of that harpy, and that as soon as M. de +Chauvelin, whom they were expecting, had gone away again, I could ask her +husband to spend a few days with me, and that she would doubtless come +too. + +"Your door-keeper's wife," she added, "was my nurse. I have been kind to +her, and when necessary I can write to you by her without running any +risk." + +After calling on two Italian Jesuits who were passing through Soleure, +and inviting them to dine with me on the following day, I returned home +where the good Dubois amused me till midnight by philosophical +discussions. She admired Locke; and maintained that the faculty of +thought was not a proof of the existence of spirit in us, as it was in +the power of God to endow matter with the capacity for thought; I was +unable to controvert this position. She made me laugh by saying that +there was a great difference between thinking and reasoning, and I had +the courage to say,-- + +"I think you would reason well if you let yourself be persuaded to sleep +with me, and you think you reason well in refusing to be so persuaded." + +"Trust me, sir," said she; "there is as much difference between the +reasoning powers of men and women as there is between their physical +characteristics." + +Next morning at nine o'clock we were taking our chocolate, when my enemy +arrived. I heard her carriage, but I did not take the slightest notice. +The villainous woman sent away the carriage and installed herself in her +room with her maid. + +I had sent Le Duc to Soleure for my letters, so I was obliged to beg my +housekeeper to do my hair; and she did it admirably, as I told her we +should have the ambassador and the two Jesuits to dinner. I thanked her, +and kissed her for the first time on the cheek, as she would not allow me +to touch her beautiful lips. I felt that we were fast falling in love +with one another, but we continued to keep ourselves under control, a +task which was much easier for her than for me, as she was helped by that +spirit of coquetry natural to the fair sex, which often has greater power +over them than love itself. + +M. de Chavigni came at two; I had consulted him before asking the +Jesuits, and had sent my carriage for them. While we were waiting for +these gentlemen we took a turn in the garden, and M. de Chavigni begged +my fair housekeeper to join us as soon as she had discharged certain +petty duties in which she was then engaged. + +M. de Chavigni was one of those men who were sent by France to such +powers as she wished to cajole and to win over to her interests. M. de +l'Hopital, who knew how to gain the heart of Elizabeth Petrovna, was +another; the Duc de Nivernois, who did what he liked with the Court of +St. James's in 1762, is a third instance. + +Madame Dubois came out to us in due course, and entertained us very +agreeably; and M. de Chavigni told me that he considered she had all the +qualities which would make a man happy. At dinner she enchanted him and +captivated the two Jesuits by her delicate and subtle wit. In the evening +this delightful old nobleman told me he had spent a most pleasant day, +and after asking me to dine at his house while M. de Chauvelin was there, +he left me with an effusive embrace. + +M. de Chauvelin, whom I had the honour to know at Versailles, at M. de +Choiseul's, was an extremely pleasant man. He arrived at Soleure in the +course of two days, and M. de Chavigni having advised me of his presence +I hastened to pay my court to him. He remembered me, and introduced me to +his wife, whom I had not the honour of knowing. As chance placed me next +to my charmer at table, my spirits rose, and my numerous jests and +stories put everybody in a good temper. On M. de Chauvelin remarking that +he knew some pleasant histories of which I was the hero, M. de Chavigni +told him that he did not know the best of all, and recounted to him my +adventure at Zurich. M. de Chauvelin then told Madame that to serve her +he would willingly transform himself into a footman, on which +M.---- joined in and said that I had a finer taste for beauty, as she, for +whose sake I had made myself into a waiter, was at that moment a guest of +mine in my country house. + +"Ah, indeed!" said M. de Chauvelin, "then we must come and see your +quarters, M. Casanova." + +I was going to reply, when M. de Chavigni anticipated me by saying, + +"Yes, indeed! and I hope he will lend me his beautiful hall to give you a +ball next Sunday." + +In this manner the good-natured courtier prevented me from promising to +give a ball myself, and relieved me of my foolish boast, which I should +have been wrong in carrying out, as it would have been an encroachment on +his privilege as ambassador of entertaining these distinguished strangers +during the five or six days they might stay at Soleure. Besides, if I had +kept to my word, it would have involved me in a considerable expense, +which would not have helped me in my suit. + +The conversation turning on Voltaire, the Ecossaise was mentioned, and +the acting of my neighbour was highly commended in words that made her +blush and shine in her beauty like a star, whereat her praises were +renewed. + +After dinner the ambassador invited us to his ball on the day after the +morrow, and I went home more deeply in love than ever with my dear +charmer, whom Heaven had designed to inflict on me the greatest grief I +have had in my life, as the reader shall see. + +I found that my housekeeper had gone to bed, and I was glad of it, for +the presence of my fair one had excited my passions to such an extent +that my reason might have failed to keep me within the bounds of respect. +Next morning she found me sad, and rallied me in such a way that I soon +recovered my spirits. While we were taking our chocolate the lame +creature's maid brought me a note, and I sent her away, telling her that +I would send the answer by my own servant. This curious letter ran as +follows: + +"The ambassador has asked me to his ball on Sunday. I answered that I was +not well, but if I found myself better in the evening I would come. I +think that as I am staying in your house I ought to be introduced by you +or stay away altogether. So if you do not wish to oblige me by taking me, +I must beg of you to tell the ambassador that I am ill. Pardon me if I +have taken the liberty of infringing our agreement in this peculiar +instance, but it is a question of keeping up some sort of appearance in +public." + +"Not so," I cried, mad with rage; and taking my pen I wrote thus: + +"I think your idea is a beautiful one, madam. You will have to be ill, as +I mean to keep to the conditions you made yourself, and to enjoy full +liberty in all things, and I shall therefore deny myself the honour of +taking you to the ball which the ambassador is to give in my hall." + +I read her insolent letter and my reply to my housekeeper, who thought +the answer just what she deserved. I then sent it to her. + +I passed the next two days quietly and agreeably without going out or +seeing any visitors, but the society of Madame Dubois was all-sufficient +for me. Early on Sunday morning the ambassador's people came to make the +necessary preparations for the ball and supper. Lebel came to pay me his +respects while I was at table. I made him sit down, while I thanked him +for procuring me a housekeeper who was all perfection. + +Lebel was a fine man, middle-aged, witty, and an excellent steward, +though perfectly honest. + +"Which of you two," said he to me, "is the most taken in?" + +"We are equally pleased with each other," answered my charming +housekeeper. + +To my great delight the first pair to appear were M.---- and Madame. She +was extremely polite to Madame Dubois, and did not shew the slightest +astonishment when I introduced her as my housekeeper. She told me that I +must take her to see her lame friend, and to my great disgust I had to +go. We were received with a show of great friendship, and she went out +with us into the garden, taking M.----'s arm, while his wife leant +amorously on mine. + +When we had made a few turns of the garden, Madame begged me to take her +to her nurse. As her husband was close by, I said,-- + +"Who is your nurse?" + +"Your door-keeper's wife," said her husband, "we will wait for you in +this lady's apartment." + +"Tell me, sweetheart," said she on the way, "does not your pretty +housekeeper sleep with you?" + +"I swear she does not; I can only love you." + +"I would like to believe you, but I find it hard to do so; however, if +you are speaking the truth it is wrong of you to keep her in the house, +as nobody will believe in your innocence." + +"It is enough for me that you believe in it. I admire her, and at any +other time I expect we could not sleep under the same roof without +sleeping in the same bed; but now that you rule my heart I am not capable +of a passion for her." + +"I am delighted to hear it; but I think she is very pretty." + +We went in to see her nurse, who called her "my child," and kissed her +again and again, and then left us alone to prepare some lemonade for us. +As soon as we found ourselves alone our mouths were glued together, and +my hands touched a thousand beauties, covered only by a dress of light +sarcenet; but I could not enjoy her charms without this cruel robe, which +was all the worse because it did not conceal the loveliness beneath it. I +am sure that the good nurse would have kept us waiting a long time if she +had known how we longed to be left alone for a few moments longer; but, +alas! the celerity with which she made those two glasses of lemonade was +unexampled. + +"It was made beforehand, was it?" said I, when I saw her coming in. + +"Not at all, sir; but I am a quick hand." + +"You are, indeed." + +These words made my charmer go off into a peal of laughter, which she +accompanied with a significant glance in my direction. As we were going +away she said that as things seemed to be against us we must wait till +her husband came to spend a few days with me. + +My terrible enemy gave us some sweets, which she praised very highly, and +above all some quince marmalade, which she insisted on our testing. We +begged to be excused, and Madame pressed my foot with hers. When we had +got away she told me I had been very wise not to touch anything, as the +widow was suspected of having poisoned her husband. + +The ball, the supper, the refreshments, and the guests were all of the +most exquisite and agreeable kind. I only danced one minuet with Madame +de Chauvelin, nearly all my evening being taken up with talking to her +husband. I made him a present of my translation of his poem on the seven +deadly sins, which he received with much pleasure. + +"I intend," said I, "to pay you a visit at Turin." + +"Are you going to bring your housekeeper with you?" + +"No." + +"You are wrong, for she is a delightful person." + +Everybody spoke of my dear Dubois in the same way. She had a perfect +knowledge of the rules of good breeding, and she knew how to make herself +respected without being guilty of the slightest presumption. In vain she +was urged to dance, and she afterwards told me that if she had yielded +she would have become an object of hatred to all the ladies. She knew +that she could dance exquisitely. + +M. de Chauvelin went away in two days, and towards the end of the week I +heard from Madame d'Urfe, who told me that she had spent two days at +Versailles in furtherance of my desires. She sent me a copy of the +letters of pardon signed by the king in favour of the relation of M.----, +assuring me that the original had been sent to the colonel of his +regiment, where he would be reinstated in the rank which he held before +the duel. + +I had my horses put into my carriage, and hastened to carry this good +news to M. de Chavigni. I was wild with joy, and I did not conceal it +from the ambassador, who congratulated me, since M.---- having obtained by +me, without the expenditure of a penny, a favour which would have cost +him dear if he had succeeded in purchasing it, would henceforth be only +too happy to treat me with the utmost confidence. + +To make the matter still more important, I begged my noble friend to +announce the pardon to M.---- in person, and he immediately wrote a note +to that gentleman requesting his presence. + +As soon as he made his appearance, the ambassador handed him the copy of +the pardon, telling him that he owed it all to me. The worthy man was in +an ecstasy, and asked what he owed me. + +"Nothing, sir, unless you will give me your friendship, which I value +more than all the gold in the world; and if you would give me a proof of +your friendship, come and spend a few days with me; I am positively dying +of loneliness. The matter I have done for you is a mere trifle; you see +how quickly it has been arranged." + +"A mere trifle! I have devoted a year's labour to it; I have moved heaven +and earth without succeeding, and in a fortnight you have accomplished +it. Sir, you may dispose of my life." + +"Embrace me, and come and see me. I am the happiest of men when I am +enabled to serve persons of your merit." + +"I will go and tell the good news to my wife, who will love you as well +as I do." + +"Yes, do so," said the ambassador, "and bring her to dinner here +to-morrow." + +When we were alone together, the Marquis de Chavigni, an old courtier and +a wit, began to make some very philosophical reflections on the state of +a court where nothing can be said to be easy or difficult per se, as the +one at a moment's notice may become the other; a court where justice +often pleads in vain, while interest or even importunity get a ready +hearing. He had known Madame d'Urfe, had even paid his court to her at +the period when she was secretly beloved by the regent. He it was who had +given her the name of Egeria, because she said she had a genius who +directed her and passed the nights with her when she slept by herself. +The ambassador then spoke of M.----, who had undoubtedly become a very +great friend of mine. + +"The only way to blind a jealous husband," said he, "is to make him your +friend, for friendship will rarely admit jealousy." + +The next day at dinner, at the ambassador's, Madame gave me a thousand +proofs of grateful friendship, which my heart interpreted as pledges of +love. The husband and wife promised to pay me a three days' visit in the +following week at my country house. + +They kept their word without giving me any further warning, but I was not +taken by surprise as I had made all preparations for their reception. + +My heart leapt with joy on seeing my charmer getting down from the +carriage, but my joy was not unalloyed, as the husband told me that they +must absolutely return on the fourth day, and the wife insisted on the +horrible widow being present at all our conversation. + +I took my guests to the suite of rooms I had prepared for them, and which +I judged most suitable for my designs. It was on the ground floor, +opposite to my room. The bedroom had a recess with two beds, separated by +a partition through which one passed by a door. I had the key to all the +doors, and the maid would sleep in a closet beyond the ante-chamber. + +In obedience to my divinity's commands we went and called on the widow, +who gave us a cordial welcome; but under the pretext of leaving us in +freedom refused to be of our company during the three days. However, she +gave in when I told her that our agreement was only in force when I was +alone. + +My dear Dubois, with her knowledge of the rules of society, did not need +a hint to have her supper in her room, and we had an exquisite meal as I +had given orders that the fare should be of the best. After supper I took +my guests to their apartment, and felt obliged to do the same by the +widow. She wanted me to assist at her toilet, but I excused myself with a +bow. She said, maliciously, that after all the pains I had taken I +deserved to be successful. I gave her no answer. + +Next morning, as we were walking in the garden, I warned my charmer that +I had all the keys of the house, and that I could introduce myself into +her room at any moment. + +"I am waiting," said she, "for my husband's embraces, which he has +prefaced with caresses, as is usual with him. We must therefore wait till +the night after next, which will take away all risk, as I have never +known him to embrace me for two nights in succession." + +About noon we had a visit from M. de Chavigni, who came to ask for +dinner, and made a great to-do when he heard that my housekeeper dined in +her room. The ladies said he was quite right, so we all went and made her +sit down at table with us. She must have been flattered, and the incident +evidently increased her good humour, as she amused us by her wit and her +piquant stories about Lady Montagu. When we had risen from table Madame +said to me,-- + +"You really must be in love with that young woman; she is ravishing." + +"If I could pass two hours in your company to-night, I would prove to you +that I am yours alone." + +"It is still out of the question, as my husband has ascertained that the +moon changes to-day." + +"He has to ask leave of the moon, has he, before discharging so sweet a +duty?" + +"Exactly. According to his system of astrology, it is the only way to +keep his health and to have the son that Heaven wills to grant him, and +indeed without aid from above it is hardly likely that his wishes will be +accomplished." + +"I hope to be the instrument of Heaven," said I, laughing. + +"I only hope you may." + +Thus I was obliged to wait. Next morning, as we were walking in the +garden, she said to me,-- + +"The sacrifice to the moon has been performed, and to make sure I will +cause him to renew his caresses tonight as soon as we go to bed; and +after that he is certain to sleep soundly. You can come at an hour after +midnight; love will await you." + +Certain of my bliss, I gave myself up to the joy that such a certainty +kindles in a fiery heart. It was the only night remaining, as M.---- had +decided that on the next day they would return to Soleure. + +After supper I took the ladies to their apartments, and on returning told +my housekeeper that I had a good deal of writing to do, and that she +should go to bed. + +Just before one o'clock I left my room, and the night being a dark one I +had to feel my way half round my house, and to my surprise found the door +open; but I did not pay any attention to this circumstance. I opened the +door of the second ante-chamber, and the moment I shut it again a hand +seized mine, whilst another closed my lips. I only heard a whispered +"hush!" which bade me silent. A sofa was at hand; we made it our altar of +sacrifice, and in a moment I was within the temple of love. It was summer +time and I had only two hours before me, so I did not lose a moment, and +thinking I held between my arms the woman I had so long sighed for I +renewed again and again the pledges of my ardent love. In the fulness of +my bliss I thought her not awaiting me in her bed an admirable idea, as +the noise of our kisses and the liveliness of our motions might have +awakened the troublesome husband. Her tender ecstasies equalled mine, and +increased my bliss by making me believe (oh, fatal error!) that of all my +conquests this was the one of which I had most reason to boast. + +To my great grief the clock warned me that it was time for me to be gone. +I covered her with the tenderest kisses, and returning to my room, in the +greatest gladness, I resigned myself to sleep. + +I was roused at nine o'clock by M.----, who seemed in a happy frame of +mind, and shewed me a letter he had just received, in which his relative +thanked me for restoring him to his regiment. In this letter, which was +dictated by gratitude, he spoke of me as if I had been a divinity. + +"I am delighted," I said, "to have been of service to you." + +"And I," said he, "am equally pleased to assure you of my gratitude. Come +and breakfast with us, my wife is still at her toilette. Come along." + +I rose hastily, and just as I was leaving the room I saw the dreadful +widow, who seemed full of glee, and said,-- + +"I thank you, sir; I thank you with all my heart. I beg to leave you at +liberty again; I am going back to Soleure." + +"Wait for a quarter of an hour, we are going to breakfast with Madame." + +"I can't stop a moment, I have just wished her good day, and now I must +be gone. Farewell, and remember me." + +"Farewell, madam." + +She had hardly gone before M.---- asked me if the woman was beside +herself. + +"One might think so, certainly," I replied, "for she has received nothing +but politeness at my hands, and I think she might have waited to go back +with you in the evening." + +We went to breakfast and to discuss this abrupt leave-taking, and +afterwards we took a turn in the garden where we found Madame Dubois. +M.---- took possession of her; and as I thought his wife looking rather +downcast I asked her if she had not slept well. + +"I did not go to sleep till four o'clock this morning," she replied, +"after vainly sitting up in bed waiting for you till that time. What +unforeseen accident prevented your coming?" + +I could not answer her question. I was petrified. I looked at her fixedly +without replying; I could not shake off my astonishment. At last a +dreadful suspicion came into my head that I had held within my arms for +two hours the horrible monster whom I had foolishly received in my house. +I was seized with a terrible tremor, which obliged me to go and take +shelter behind the arbour and hide my emotion. I felt as though I should +swoon away. I should certainly have fallen if I had not rested my head +against a tree. + +My first idea had been a fearful thought, which I hastened to repel, that +Madame, having enjoyed me, wished to deny all knowledge of the fact--a +device which is in the power of any woman who gives up her person in the +dark to adopt, as it is impossible to convict her of lying. However, I +knew the divine creature I had thought I possessed too well to believe +her capable of such base deceit. I felt that she would have been lacking +in delicacy, if she had said she had waited for me in vain by way of a +jest; as in such a case as this the least doubt is a degradation. I was +forced, then, to the conclusion that she had been supplanted by the +infernal widow. How had she managed it? How had she ascertained our +arrangements? I could not imagine, and I bewildered myself with painful +surmises. Reason only comes to the aid of the mind when the confusion +produced by painful thoughts has almost vanished. I concluded, then, that +I had spent two hours with this abominable monster; and what increased my +anguish, and made me loathe and despise myself still more, was that I +could not help confessing that I had been perfectly happy. It was an +unpardonable mistake, as the two women differed as much as white does +from black, and though the darkness forbade my seeing, and the silence my +hearing, my sense of touch should have enlightened me--after the first +set-to, at all events, but my imagination was in a state of ecstasy. I +cursed love, my nature, and above all the inconceivable weakness which +had allowed me to receive into my house the serpent that had deprived me +of an angel, and made me hate myself at the thought of having defiled +myself with her. I resolved to die, after having torn to pieces with my +own hands the monster who had made me so unhappy. + +While I was strengthening myself in this resolution M.---- came up to me +and asked me kindly if I were ill; he was alarmed to see me pale and +covered with drops of sweat. "My wife," said the worthy man, "is uneasy +about you, and sent me to look after you." I told him I had to leave her +on account of a sudden dizziness, but that I began to feel better. "Let +us rejoin her." Madame Dubois brought me a flask of strong waters, saying +pleasantly that she was sure it was only the sudden departure of the +widow that had put me out. + +We continued our walk, and when we were far enough from the husband, who +was with my housekeeper, I said I had been overcome by what she had said, +but that it had doubtless been spoken jestingly. + +"I was not jesting at all," said she, with a sigh, "tell me what +prevented your coming." + +Again I was struck dumb. I could not make up my mind to tell her the +story, and I did not know what to say to justify myself. I was silent and +confused when my housekeeper's little servant came up and gave me a +letter which the wretched widow had sent her by an express. She had +opened it, and found an enclosure addressed to me inside. I put it in my +pocket, saying I would read it at my leisure. On Madame saying in joke +that it was a love-letter, I could not laugh, and made no answer. The +servant came to tell us that dinner was served, but I could touch +nothing. My abstinence was put down to my being unwell. + +I longed to read the letter, but I wished to be alone to do so, and that +was a difficult matter to contrive. + +Wishing to avoid the game of piquet which formed our usual afternoon's +amusement, I took a cup of coffee, and said that I thought the fresh air +would do me good. Madame seconded me, and guessing what I wanted she +asked me to walk up and down with her in a sheltered alley in the garden. +I offered her my arm, her husband offered his to my housekeeper, and we +went out. + +As soon as my mistress saw that we were free from observation, she spoke +as follows,-- + +"I am sure that you spent the night with that malicious woman, and I am +afraid of being compromised in consequence. Tell me everything; confide +in me without reserve; 'tis my first intrigue, and if it is to serve as a +lesson you should conceal nothing from me. I am sure you loved me once, +tell me that you have not become my enemy." + +"Good heavens! what are you saying? I your enemy!" + +"Then tell me all, and before you read that wretched creature's letter. I +adjure you in the name of love to hide nothing from me." + +"Well, divine creature, I will do as you bid me. I came to your apartment +at one o'clock, and as soon as I was in the second ante-chamber, I was +taken by the arm, and a hand was placed upon my lips to impose silence; I +thought I held you in my arms, and I laid you gently on the sofa. You +must remember that I felt absolutely certain it was you; indeed, I can +scarcely doubt it even now. I then passed with you, without a word being +spoken, two of the most delicious hours I have ever experienced. Cursed +hours! of which the remembrance will torment me for the remainder of my +days. I left you at a quarter past three. The rest is known to you." + +"Who can have told the monster that you were going to visit me at that +hour?" + +"I can't make out, and that perplexes me." + +"You must confess that I am the most to be pitied of us three, and +perhaps, alas! the only one who may have a just title to the name +'wretched.'" + +"If you love me, in the name of Heaven do not say that; I have resolved +to stab her, and to kill myself after having inflicted on her that +punishment she so well deserves." + +"Have you considered that the publicity of such an action would render me +the most unfortunate of women? Let us be more moderate, sweetheart; you +are not to blame for what has happened, and if possible I love you all +the more. Give me the letter she has written to you. I will go away from +you to read it, and you can read it afterwards, as if we were seen +reading it together we should have to explain matters." + +"Here it is." + +I then rejoined her husband, whom my housekeeper was sending into fits of +laughter. The conversation I had just had had calmed me a little, and the +trustful way in which she had asked for the letter had done me good. I +was in a fever to know the contents, and yet I dreaded to read it, as it +could only increase my rage and I was afraid of the results. + +Madame rejoined us, and after we had separated again she gave me the +letter, telling me to keep it till I was alone. She asked me to give her +my word of honour to do nothing without consulting her, and to +communicate all my designs to her by means of her nurse. + +"We need not fear the harpy saying anything about it," she remarked, "as +she would first have to proclaim her own prostitution, and as for us, +concealment is the best plan. And I would have you note that the horrible +creature gives you a piece of advice you would do well to follow." + +What completely tore my heart asunder during this interview was to see +great tears--tears of love and grief--falling from her beautiful eyes; +though to moderate my anguish she forced a smile. I knew too well the +importance she attached to her fair fame not to guess that she was +tormented with the idea that the terrible widow knew of the understanding +between us, and the thought added fresh poignancy to my sorrow. + +This amiable pair left me at seven in the evening, and I thanked the +husband in such a manner that he could not doubt my sincerity, and, in +truth, I said no more than I felt. There is no reason why the love one +feels for a woman should hinder one from being the true friend of her +husband--if she have a husband. The contrary view is a hateful prejudice, +repugnant both to nature and to philosophy. After I had embraced him I +was about to kiss the hand of his charming wife, but he begged me to +embrace her too, which I did respectfully but feelingly. + +I was impatient to read the terrible letter, and as soon as they were +gone I shut myself up in my room to prevent any interruptions. The +epistle was as follows: + +"I leave your house, sir, well enough pleased, not that I have spent a +couple of hours with you, for you are no better than any other man, but +that I have revenged myself on the many open marks of contempt you have +given me; for your private scorn I care little, and I willingly forgive +you. I have avenged myself by unmasking your designs and the hypocrisy of +your pretty prude, who will no longer be able to treat me with that +irritating air of superiority which she, affecting a virtue which she +does not possess, has displayed towards me. I have avenged myself in the +fact that she must have been waiting for you all the night, and I would +have given worlds to have heard the amusing conversation you must have +had when she found out that I had taken for vengeance's sake, and not for +love, the enjoyment which was meant for her. I have avenged myself +because you can no longer pretend to think her a marvel of beauty, as +having mistaken me for her, the difference between us must needs be +slight; but I have done you a service, too, as the thought of what has +happened should cure you of your passion. You will no longer adore her +before all other women who are just as good as she. Thus I have disabused +you, and you ought to feel grateful to me; but I dispense you from all +gratitude, and do not care if you choose to hate me, provided your hatred +leaves me in peace; but if I find your conduct objectionable in the +future, I warn you that I will tell all, since I do not care for my own +fame as I am a widow and mistress of my own actions. I need no man's +favour, and care not what men may say of me. Your mistress, on the other +hand, is in quite a different position. + +"And here I will give you a piece of advice, which should convince you of +my generosity. For the last ten years I have been troubled with a little +ailment which has resisted all attempts at treatment. You exerted +yourself to such an extent to prove how well you loved me that you must +have caught the complaint. I advise you, then, to put yourself under +treatment at once to weaken the force of the virus; but above all do not +communicate it to your mistress, who might chance to hand it on to her +husband and possibly to others, which would make a wretched woman of her, +to my grief and sorrow, since she has never done me any harm. I felt +certain that you two would deceive the worthy husband, and I wished to +have proof; thus I made you take me in, and the position of the apartment +you gave them was enough to remove all doubts; still I wanted to have +proof positive. I had no need of any help to arrive at my ends, and I +found it a pleasant joke to keep you in the dark. After passing two +nights on the sofa all for nothing, I resolved on passing the third night +there, and my perseverance was crowned with success. No one saw me, and +my maid even is ignorant of my nocturnal wanderings, though in any case +she is accustomed to observe silence. You are, then, at perfect liberty +to bury the story in oblivion, and I advise you to do so. + +"If you want a doctor, tell him to keep his counsel, for people at +Soleure know of my little indisposition, and they might say you caught it +from me, and this would do us both harm." + +Her impudence struck me so gigantic in its dimensions that I almost +laughed. I was perfectly aware that after the way I had treated her she +must hate me, but I should not have thought she would have carried her +perverse hatred so far. She had communicated to me an infectious disease, +though I did not so far feel any symptoms; however, they would no doubt +appear, and I sadly thought I should have to go away to be cured, to +avoid the gossip of malicious wits. I gave myself up to reflection, and +after two hours' thought I wisely resolved to hold my tongue, but to be +revenged when the opportunity presented itself. + +I had eaten nothing at dinner, and needed a good supper to make me sleep. +I sat down to table with my housekeeper, but, like a man ashamed of +himself, I dared not look her in the face. + + + + +CHAPTER XVI + +Continuation of the Preceding Chapter--I Leave Soleure + +When the servants had gone away and left us alone, it would have looked +strange if we had remained as dumb as two posts; but in my state of mind +I did not feel myself capable of breaking the silence. My dear Dubois, +who began to love me because I made her happy, felt my melancholy react +on herself, and tried to make me talk. + +"Your sadness," said she, "is not like you; it frightens me. You may +console yourself by telling me of your troubles, but do not imagine that +my curiosity springs from any unworthy motive, I only want to be of +service to you. You may rely on my being perfectly discreet; and to +encourage you to speak freely, and to give you that trust in me which I +think I deserve, I will tell you what I know and what I have learnt about +yourself. My knowledge has not been obtained by any unworthy stratagems, +or by a curiosity in affairs which do not concern me." + +"I am pleased with what you say, my dear housekeeper. I see you are my +friend, and I am grateful to you. Tell me all you know about the matter +which is now troubling me, and conceal nothing." + +"Very good. You are the lover and the beloved of Madame----. The widow +whom you have treated badly has played you some trick which has involved +you with your mistress, and then the wretched woman has 477 left your +house with the most unpardonable rudeness this tortures you. You fear +some disastrous consequences from which you cannot escape, your heart and +mind are at war, and there is a struggle in your breast between passion +and sentiment. Perhaps I am wrong, but yesterday you seemed to me happy +and to-day miserable. I pity you, because you have inspired me with the +tenderest feelings of friendship. I did my best to-day to converse with +the husband that you might be free to talk to the wife, who seems to me +well worthy of your love." + +"All that you have said is true. Your friendship is dear to me, and I +have a high opinion of your intellectual powers. The widow is a monster +who has made me wretched in return for my contempt, and I cannot revenge +myself on her. Honour will not allow me to tell you any more, and indeed +it would be impossible for you or any one else to alleviate the grief +that overwhelms me. It may possibly be my death, but in the mean time, my +dear Dubois, I entreat you to continue your friendship towards me, and to +treat me with entire candour. I shall always attend to what you say, and +thus you will be of the greatest service to me. I shall not be +ungrateful." + +I spent a weary night as I had expected, for anger, the mother of +vengeance, always made me sleepless, while sudden happiness had sometimes +the same effect. + +I rang for Le Duc early in the morning, but, instead of him, Madame +Dubois's ugly little attendant came, and told me that my man was ill, and +that the housekeeper would bring me my chocolate. She came in directly +after, and I had no sooner swallowed the chocolate than I was seized with +a violent attack of sickness, the effect of anger, which at its height +may kill the man who cannot satisfy it. My concentrated rage called for +vengeance on the dreadful widow, the chocolate came on the top of the +anger, and if it had not been rejected I should have been killed; as it +was I was quite exhausted. Looking at my housekeeper I saw she was in +tears, and asked her why she wept. + +"Good heavens! Do you think I have a heart of stone?" + +"Calm yourself; I see you pity me. Leave me, and I hope I shall be able +to get some sleep." + +I went to sleep soon after, and I did not wake till I had slept for seven +hours. I felt restored to life. I rang the bell, my housekeeper came in, +and told me the surgeon of the place had called. She looked very +melancholy, but on seeing my more cheerful aspect I saw gladness +reappearing on her pretty face. + +"We will dine together, dearest," said I, "but tell the surgeon to come +in. I want to know what he has to say to me." + +The worthy man entered, and after looking carefully round the room to see +that we were alone, he came up to me, and whispered in my ear that Le Duc +had a malady of a shameful character. + +I burst out laughing, as I had been expecting some terrible news. + +"My dear doctor," said I, "do all you can to cure him, and I will pay you +handsomely, but next time don't look so doleful when you have anything to +tell me. How old are you?" + +"Nearly eighty." + +"May God help you!" + +I was all the more ready to sympathize with my poor Spaniard, as I +expected to find myself in a like case. + +What a fellow-feeling there is between the unfortunate! The poor man will +seek in vain for true compassion at the rich man's doors; what he +receives is a sacrifice to ostentation and not true benevolence; and the +man in sorrow should not look for pity from one to whom sorrow is +unknown, if there be such a person on the earth. + +My housekeeper came in to dress me, and asked me what had been the +doctor's business. + +"He must have said something amusing to make you laugh." + +"Yes, and I should like to tell you what it was; but before I do so I +must ask you if you know what the venereal disease is?" + +"Yes, I do; Lady Montagu's footman died of it while I was with her." + +"Very good, but you should pretend not to know what it is, and imitate +other ladies who assume an ignorance which well becomes them. Poor Le Duc +has got this disease." + +"Poor fellow, I am sorry for him! Were you laughing at that?" + +"No; it was the air of mystery assumed by the old doctor which amused +me." + +"I too have a confidence to make, and when you have heard it you must +either forgive me or send me away directly." + +"Here is another bother. What the devil can you have done? Quick! tell +me." + +"Sir, I have robbed you!" + +"What robbed me? When? How? Can you return me what you have taken? I +should not have thought you capable of such a thing. I never forgive a +robber or a liar." + +"You are too hasty, sir. I am sure you will forgive me, as I robbed you +only half an hour ago, and I am now going to return to you the theft." + +"You are a singular woman, my dear. Come, I will vouchsafe full +forgiveness, but restore immediately what you have taken." + +"This is what I stole." + +"What! that monster's letter? Did you read it?" + +"Yes, of course, for otherwise I should not have committed a theft, +should I?" + +"You have robbed me my secret, then, and that is a thing you cannot give +me back. You have done very wrong." + +"I confess I have. My theft is all the greater in that I cannot make +restoration. Nevertheless, I promise never to speak a word of it all my +life, and that ought to gain me my pardon. Give it me quickly." + +"You are a little witch. I forgive you, and here is the pledge of my +mercy." So saying I fastened my lips on hers. + +"I don't doubt the validity of your pardon; you have signed with a double +and a triple seal." + +"Yes; but for the future do not read, or so much as touch, any of my +papers, as I am the depositary of secrets of which I am not free to +dispose." + +"Very good; but what shall I do when I find papers on the ground, as that +letter was?" + +"You must pick them up, but not read them." + +"I promise to do so." + +"Very well, my dear; but you must forget the horrors you have read." + +"Listen to me. Allow me to remember what I have read; perhaps you may be +the gainer. Let us talk over this affair, which has made my hair stand on +end. This monster of immodesty has given you two mortal blows--one in the +body and one in the soul; but that is not the worst, as she thinks that +Madame's honour is in her keeping. This, in my thinking, is the worst of +all; for, in spite of the affront, your mutual love might continue, and +the disease which the infamous creature has communicated to you would +pass off; but if the malicious woman carries out her threats, the honour +of your charming mistress is gone beyond return. Do not try to make me +forget the matter, then, but let us talk it over and see what can be +done." + +I thought I was dreaming when I heard a young woman in her position +reasoning with more acuteness than Minerva displays in her colloquies +with Telemachus. She had captured not only my esteem but my respect. + +"Yes, my dear," I answered, "let us think over some plan for delivering a +woman who deserves the respect of all good men from this imminent danger; +and the very thought that we have some chance of success makes me +indebted to you. Let us think of it and talk of it from noon to night. +Think kindly of Madame----, pardon her first slip, protect her honour, +and have pity on my distress. From henceforth call me no more your master +but your friend. I will be your friend till death; I swear it to you. +What you say is full of wisdom; my heart is yours. Embrace me." + +"No, no, that is not necessary; we are young people, and we might perhaps +allow ourselves to go astray. I only wish for your friendship; but I do +not want you to give it to me for nothing. I wish to deserve it by giving +you solid proofs of my friendship for you. In the meanwhile I will tell +them to serve dinner, and I hope that after you have eaten something you +will be quite well." + +I was astonished at her sagacity. It might all be calculated artifice, +and her aim might be to seduce me, but I did not trouble myself about +that. I found myself almost in love with her, and like to be the dupe of +her principles, which would have made themselves felt, even if she had +openly shared my love. I decided that I would add no fuel to my flames, +and felt certain that they would go out of their own accord. By leaving +my love thus desolate it would die of exhaustion. I argued like a fool. I +forgot that it is not possible to stop at friendship with a pretty woman +whom one sees constantly, and especially when one suspects her of being +in love herself. At its height friendship becomes love, and the +palliative one is forced to apply to soothe it for a moment only +increases its intensity. Such was the experience of Anacreon with +Smerdis, and Cleobulus with Badyllus. A Platonist who pretends that one +is able to live with a young woman of whom one is fond, without becoming +more than her friend, is a visionary who knows not what he says. My +housekeeper was too young, too pretty, and above all too pleasant, she +had too keen a wit, for me not to be captivated by all these qualities +conjoined; I was bound to become her lover. + +We dined quietly together without saying anything about the affair we had +at heart, for nothing is more imprudent or more dangerous than to speak +in the presence of servants, who out of maliciousness or ignorance put +the worst construction on what they hear; add or diminish, and think +themselves privileged to divulge their master's secrets, especially as +they know them without having been entrusted with them. + +As soon as we were alone, my dear Dubois asked me if I had sufficient +proof of Le Duc's fidelity. + +"Well, my dear, he is a rascal and a profligate, full of impudence, +sharp-witted, ignorant, a fearful liar, and nobody but myself has any +power over him. However, he has one good quality, and that is blind +obedience to my orders. He defies the stick, and he would defy the +gallows if it were far enough off. When I have to ford a river on my +travels, he strips off his clothes without my telling him, and jumps in +to see if I can across in safety." + +"That will do; he is just what we want under the circumstances. I will +begin by assuring you, my dear friend, as you will have me style you +thus, that Madame's honour is perfectly safe. Follow my advice, and if +the detestable widow does not take care she will be the only person put +to shame. But we want Le Duc; without him we can do nothing. Above all we +must find out how he contracted his disease, as several circumstances +might throw obstacles in the way of my design. Go to him at once and find +out all particulars, and if he has told any of the servants what is the +matter with him. When you have heard what he has to say, warn him to keep +the matter quiet." + +I made no objection, and without endeavouring to penetrate her design I +went to Le Duc. I found him lying on his bed by himself. I sat down +beside him with a smile on my face, and promised to have him cured if he +would tell me all the circumstances of the case. + +"With all my heart, sir, the matter happened like this. The day you sent +me to Soleure to get your letters, I got down at a roadside dairy to get +a glass of milk. It was served to me by a young wench who caught my +fancy, and I gave her a hug; she raised no objection, and in a quarter of +an hour she made me what you see." + +"Have you told anyone about it?" + +"I took good care not to do so, as I should only have got laughed at. The +doctor is the only one who knows what is the matter, and he tells me the +swelling will be gone down before tomorrow, and I hope I shall be able by +that time to wait upon you." + +"Very good, but remember to keep your own counsel." + +I proceeded to inform my Minerva of our conversation, and she said,-- + +"Tell me whether the widow could take her oath that she had spent the two +hours on the sofa with you." + +"No, for she didn't see me, and I did not say a word." + +"Very good; then sit down at your desk and write, and tell her she is a +liar, as you did not leave your room at all, and that you are making the +necessary enquiries in your household to find out who is the wretched +person she has unwittingly contaminated. Write at once and send off your +letter directly. In an hour and a half's time you can write another +letter; or rather you can copy what I am just going to put down." + +"My dear, I see your plan; it is an ingenious one, but I have given my +word of honour to Madame to take no steps in the matter without first +consulting her." + +"Then your word of honour must give way to the necessity of saving her +honour. Your love retards your steps, but everything depends on our +promptitude, and on the interval between the first and second letter. +Follow my advice, I beg of you, and you will know the rest from the +letter I am going to write for you to copy. Quick I write letter number +one." + +I did not allow myself to reflect. I was persuaded that no better plan +could be found than that of my charming governess, and I proceeded to +write the following love-letter to the impudent monster: + +"The impudence of your letter is in perfect accord with the three nights +you spent in discovering a fact which has no existence save in your own +perverse imagination. Know, cursed woman, that I never left my room, and +that I have not to deplore the shame of having passed two hours with a +being such as you. God knows with whom you did pass them, but I mean to +find out if the whole story is not the creation of your devilish brain, +and when I do so I will inform you. + +"You may thank Heaven that I did not open your letter till after M. and +Madame had gone. I received it in their presence, but despising the hand +that wrote it I put it in my pocket, little caring what infamous stuff it +contained. If I had been curious enough to read it and my guests had seen +it, I would have you know that I would have gone in pursuit of you, and +at this moment you would have been a corpse. I am quite well, and have no +symptoms of any complaint, but I shall not lower myself to convince you +of my health, as your eyes would carry contagion as well as your wretched +carcase." + +I shewed the letter to my dear Dubois, who thought it rather strongly +expressed, but approved of it on the whole; I then sent it to the +horrible being who had caused me such unhappiness. An hour and a half +afterwards I sent her the following letter, which I copied without +addition or subtraction: + +"A quarter of an hour after I had sent off my letter, the village doctor +came to tell me that my man had need of his treatment for a disease of a +shameful nature which he had contracted quite recently. I told him to +take care of his patient; and when he had gone I went to see the invalid, +who confessed, after some pressure, that he had received this pretty +present from you. I asked him how he had contrived to obtain access to +you, and he said that he saw you going by your self in the dark into the +apartment of M.----. Knowing that I had gone to bed, and having no +further services to render me, curiosity made him go and see what you +were doing there by stealth, as if you had wanted to see the lady, who +would be in bed by that time, you would not have gone by the door leading +to the garden. He at first thought that you went there with ill-intent, +and he waited an hour to see if you stole anything, in which case he +would have arrested you; but as you did not come out, and he heard no +noise, he resolved to go in after you, and found you had left the door +open. He has assured me that he had no intentions in the way of carnal +enjoyment, and I can well believe him. He tells me he was on the point of +crying for help, when you took hold of him and put your hand over his +mouth; but he changed his plans on finding himself drawn gently to a +couch and covered with kisses. You plainly took him for somebody else, +'and,' said he, 'I did her a service which she has done ill to recompense +in this fashion.' He left you without saying a word as soon as the day +began to dawn, his motive being fear of recognition. It is easy to see +that you took my servant for myself, for in the night, you know, all cats +are grey, and I congratulate you on obtaining an enjoyment you certainly +would not have had from me, as I should most surely have recognized you +directly from your breath and your aged charms, and I can tell you it +would have gone hard with you. Luckily for you and for me, things +happened otherwise. I may tell you that the poor fellow is furious, and +intends making you a visit, from which course I believe I have no right +to dissuade him. I advise you to hear him politely, and to be in a +generous mood when he comes, as he is a determined fellow like all +Spaniards, and if you do not treat him properly he will publish the +matter, and you will have to take the consequences. He will tell you +himself what his terms are, and I daresay you will be wise enough to +grant them." + +An hour after I had sent off this epistle I received a reply to my first +letter. She told me that my device was an ingenious one, but that it was +no good, as she knew what she was talking about. She defied me to shew +her that I was healthy in the course of a few days. + +While we were at supper, my dear Dubois tried her utmost to cheer me up, +but all to no purpose; I was too much under the influence of strong +emotion to yield to her high spirits. We discussed the third step, which +would put an apex to the scheme and cover the impudent woman with shame. +As I had written the two letters according to my housekeeper's +instructions, I determined to follow her advice to the end. She told me +what to say to Le Duc in the morning; and she was curious to know what +sort of stuff he was made of, she begged me to let her listen behind the +curtains of my bed. + +Next morning Le Due came in, and I asked if he could ride on horseback to +Soleure. + +"Yes, sir," he replied, "but the doctor tells me I must begin to bathe +to-morrow." + +"Very good. As soon as your horse is ready, set out and go to Madame +F----, but do not let her know you come from me, or suspect that you are +a mere emissary of mine. Say that you want to speak to her. If she +refuses to receive you, wait outside in the street; but I fancy she will +receive you, and without a witness either. Then say to her, 'You have +given me my complaint without having been asked, and I require you to +give me sufficient money to get myself cured.' Add that she made you work +for two hours in the dark, and that if it had not been for the fatal +present she had given to you, you would have said nothing about it; but +that finding yourself in such a state (you needn't be ashamed to shew +her) she ought not to be astonished at your taking such a course. If she +resists, threaten her with the law. That's all you have to do, but don't +let my name appear. Return directly without loss of time, that I may know +how you have got on." + +"That's all very fine, sir, but if this jolly wench has me pitched out of +window, I shan't come home quite so speedily." + +"Quite so, but you needn't be afraid; I will answer for your safety." + +"It's a queer business you are sending me on." + +"You are the only man I would trust to do it properly." + +"I will do it all right, but I want to ask you one or two essential +questions. Has the lady really got the what d'you call it?" + +"She has." + +"I am sorry for her. But how am I to stick to it that she has peppered +me, when I have never spoken to her?" + +"Do you usually catch that complaint by speaking, booby?" + +"No, but one speaks in order to catch it, or while one is catching it." + +"You spent two hours in the dark with her without a word being spoken, +and she will see that she gave this fine present to you while she thought +she was giving it to another." + +"Ah! I begin to see my way, sir. But if we were in the dark, how was I to +know it was she I had to do with? + +"Thus: you saw her going in by the garden door, and you marked her +unobserved. But you may be sure she won't ask you any of these +questions." + +"I know what to do now. I will start at once, and I am as curious as you +to know what her answer will be. But here's another question comes into +my head. She may try to strike a bargain over the sum I am to ask for my +cure; if so, shall I be content with three hundred francs?" + +"That's too much for her, take half." + +"But it isn't much for two hours of such pleasure for her and six weeks +of such pain for me." + +"I will make up the rest to you." + +"That's good hearing. She is going to pay for damage she has done. I +fancy I see it all, but I shall say nothing. I would bet it is you to +whom she has made this fine present, and that you want to pay her out." + +"Perhaps so; but keep your own counsel and set out." + +"Do you know I think the rascal is unique," said my dear Dubois, emerging +from her hiding-place, "I had hard work to keep from laughing when he +said that if he were pitched out of the window he would not come back so +soon. I am sure he will acquit himself better than ever did diplomatist. +When he gets to Soleure the monster will have already dispatched her +reply to your second letter. I am curious to see how it will turn out." + +"To you, my dear, the honour of this comedy belongs. You have conducted +this intrigue like a past master in the craft. It could never be taken +for the work of a novice." + +"Nevertheless, it is my first and I hope it will be my last intrigue." + +"I hope she won't defy me to 'give evidence of my health'." + +"You are quite well so far, I think?" + +"Yes; and, by the way, it is possible she may only have leucorrhoea. I am +longing to see the end of the piece, and to set my mind at rest." + +"Will you give Madame an account of our scheme?" + +"Yes; but I shall not be able to give you the credit you deserve." + +"I only want to have credit in your eyes." + +"You cannot doubt that I honour you immensely, and I shall certainly not +deprive you of the reward that is your due." + +"The only reward I ask for is for you to be perfectly open with me." + +"You are very wonderful. Why do you interest yourself so much in my +affairs? I don't like to think you are really inquisitive." + +"You would be wrong to think that I have a defect which would lower me in +my own eyes. Be sure, sir, that I shall only be curious when you are +sad." + +"But what can have made you feel so generously towards me?" + +"Only your honourable conduct towards me." + +"You touch me profoundly, and I promise to confide in you for the +future." + +"You will make me happy." + +Le Duc had scarcely gone an hour when a messenger on foot came to bring +me a second letter from the widow. He also gave me a small packet, +telling me that he had orders to wait for a reply. I sent him down to +wait, and I gave the letter to Madame Dubois, that she might see what it +contained. While she was reading it I leant upon the window, my heart +beating violently. + +"Everything is getting on famously," cried my housekeeper. "Here is the +letter; read it." + +"Whether I am being told the truth, or whether I am the victim of a myth +arising from your fertile imagination (for which you are too well known +all over Europe), I will regard the whole story as being true, as I am +not in a position to disprove it. I am deeply grieved to have injured an +innocent man who has never done me any ill, and I will willingly pay the +penalty by giving him a sum which will be more than sufficient to cure +him of the plague with which I infected him. I beg that you will give him +the twenty-five louis I am sending you; they will serve to restore him to +health, and to make him forget the bitterness of the pleasure I am so +sorry to have procured for him. And now are you sufficiently generous to +employ your authority as master to enjoin on your man the most absolute +secrecy? I hope so, for you have reason to dread my vengeance otherwise. +Consider that, if this affair is allowed to transpire, it will be easy +for me to give it a turn which may be far from pleasant to you, and which +will force the worthy man you are deceiving to open his eyes; for I have +not changed my opinion, as I have too many proofs of your understanding +with his wife. As I do not desire that we should meet again, I shall go +to Lucerne on the pretext of family concerns. Let me know that you have +got this letter." + +"I am sorry," I said, "to have sent Le Duc, as the harpy is violent, and +I am afraid of something happening to him." + +"Don't be afraid," she replied, "nothing will happen, and it is better +that they should see each other; it makes it more certain. Send her the +money directly; she will have to give it to him herself, and your +vengeance will be complete. She will not be able to entertain the +slightest suspicion, especially if Le Duc shews her her work, and in two +or three hours you will have the pleasure of hearing everything from his +lips. You have reason to bless your stars, as the honour of the woman you +love is safe. The only thing that can trouble you is the remembrance of +the widow's foul embraces, and the certainty that the prostitute has +communicated her complaint to you. Nevertheless, I hope it may prove a +slight attack and be easily cured. An inveterate leucorrhoea is not +exactly a venereal disease, and I have heard people in London say that it +was rarely contagious. We ought to be very thankful that she is going to +Lucerne. Laugh and be thankful; there is certainly a comic touch in our +drama." + +"Unfortunately, it is tragi-comic. I know the human heart, and I am sure +that I must have forfeited Madame's affections." + +"It is true that----; but this is not the time to be thinking of such +matters. Quick! write to her briefly and return her the twenty-five +Louis." + +My reply was as follows: + +"Your unworthy suspicions, your abominable design of revenge, and the +impudent letter you wrote me, are the only causes of your no doubt bitter +repentance. I hope that it will restore peace to your conscience. Our +messengers have crossed, through no fault of mine. I send you the +twenty-five Louis; you can give them to the man yourself. I could not +prevent my servant from paying you a visit, but this time you will not +keep him two hours, and you will not find it difficult to appease his +anger. I wish you a good journey, and I shall certainly flee all +occasions of meeting you, for I always avoid the horrible; and you must +know, odious woman, that it isn't everybody who endeavours to ruin the +reputation of their friends. If you see the apostolic nuncio at Lucerne, +ask him about me, and he will tell you what sort of a reputation I have +in Europe. I can assure you that Le Duc has only spoken to me of his +misadventure, and that if you treat him well he will be discreet, as he +certainly has nothing to boast of. Farewell." + +My dear Minerva approved of this letter, and I sent it with the money by +the messenger. + +"The piece is not yet done," said my housekeeper, "we have three scenes +more:" + +"What are they?" + +"The return of your Spaniard, the appearance of the disease, and the +astonishment of Madame when she hears it all." + +I counted the moments for Le Duc to return, but in vain; he did not +appear. I was in a state of great anxiety, although my dear Dubois kept +telling me that the only reason he was away so long was that the widow +was out. Some people are so happily constituted that they never admit the +possibility of misfortune. I was like that myself till the age of thirty, +when I was put under the Leads. Now I am getting into my dotage and look +on the dark side of everything. I am invited to a wedding, and see nought +but gloom; and witnessing the coronation of Leopold, at Prague, I say to +myself, 'Nolo coronari'. Cursed old age, thou art only worthy of dwelling +in hell, as others before me have thought also, 'tristisque senectus'. + +About half-past nine my housekeeper looked out, and saw Le Duc by the +moonlight coming along at a good pace. That news revived me. I had no +light in the room, and my housekeeper ran to hide in the recess, for she +would not have missed a word of the Spaniard's communication. + +"I am dying of hunger," said he, as he came in. "I had to wait for that +woman till half-past six. When she came in she found me on the stairs and +told me to go about my business, as she had nothing to say to me. + +"'That may be, fair lady,' I replied; 'but I have a few words to say to +you, and I have been waiting here for a cursed time with that intent.' + +"'Wait a minute,' she replied; and then putting into her pocket a packet +and a letter which I thought was addressed in your writing, she told me +to follow her. As soon as I got to her room, I saw there was no one else +present, and I told her that she had infected me, and that I wanted the +wherewithal to pay the doctor. As she said nothing I proceeded to +convince her of my infected state, but she turned away her head, and +said,-- + +"'Have you been waiting for me long? + +"'Since eleven, without having had a bite or a sup.' + +"Thereupon she went out, and after asking the servant, whom I suppose she +had sent here, what time he had come back, she returned to me, shut the +door, and gave me the packet, telling me that it contained twenty-five +Louis for my cure, and that if I valued my life I would keep silence in +the matter. I promised to be discreet, and with that I left here, and +here I am. + +"Does the packet belong to me?" + +"Certainly. Have some supper and go to bed." + +My dear Dubois came out of her recess and embraced me, and we spent a +happy evening. Next morning I noticed the first symptoms of the disease +the hateful widow had communicated to me, but in three or four days I +found it was of a very harmless character, and a week later I was quite +rid of it. My poor Spaniard, on the other hand, was in a pitiable case. + +I passed the whole of the next morning in writing to Madame. I told her +circumstantially all I had done, in spite of my promise to consult her, +and I sent her copies of all the letters to convince her that our enemy +had gone to Lucerne with the idea that her vengeance had been only an +imaginary one. Thus I shewed her that her honour was perfectly safe. I +ended by telling her that I had noticed the first symptoms of the +disease, but that I was certain of getting rid of it in a very few days. +I sent my letter through her nurse, and in two days' time I had a few +lines from her informing me that I should see her in the course of the +week in company with her husband and M. de Chavigni. + +Unhappy I! I was obliged to renounce all thoughts of love, but my Dubois, +who was with me nearly all day on account of Le Duc's illness, began to +stand me in good stead. The more I determined to be only a friend to her, +the more I was taken with her; and it was in vain that I told myself that +from seeing her without any love-making my sentiment for her would die a +natural death. I had made her a present of a ring, telling her that +whenever she wanted to get rid of it I would give her a hundred louis for +it; but this could only happen in time of need--an impossible contingency +while she continued with me, and I had no idea of sending her away. She +was natural and sincere, endowed with a ready wit and good reasoning +powers. She had never been in love, and she had only married to please +Lady Montagu. She only wrote to her mother, and to please her I read the +letters. They were full of filial piety, and were admirably written. + +One day the fancy took me to ask to read the letters her mother wrote in +reply. "She never replies," said she, "For an excellent reason, namely, +that she cannot write. I thought she was dead when I came back from +England, and it was a happy surprise to find her in perfect health when I +got to Lausanne." + +"Who came with you from England?" + +"Nobody." + +"I can't credit that. Young, beautiful, well dressed, obliged to +associate casually with all kinds of people, young men and profligates +(for there are such everywhere), how did you manage to defend yourself?" + +"Defend myself? I never needed to do so. The best plan for a young woman +is never to stare at any man, to pretend not to hear certain questions +and certainly not to answer them, to sleep by herself in a room where +there is a lock and key, or with the landlady when possible. When a girl +has travelling adventures, one may safely say that she has courted them, +for it is easy to be discreet in all countries if one wishes." + +She spoke justly. She assured me that she had never had an adventure and +had never tripped, as she was fortunate enough not to be of an amorous +disposition. Her naive stories, her freedom from prudery, and her sallies +full of wit and good sense, amused me from morning till night, and we +sometimes thoued each other; this was going rather far, and should have +shewn us that we were on the brink of the precipice. She talked with much +admiration of the charms of Madame, and shewed the liveliest interest in +my stories of amorous adventure. When I got on risky ground, I would make +as if I would fain spare her all unseemly details, but she begged me so +gracefully to hide nothing, that I found myself obliged to satisfy her; +but when my descriptions became so faithful as almost to set us on fire, +she would burst into a laugh, put her hand over my mouth, and fly like a +hunted gazelle to her room, and then lock herself in. One day I asked her +why she did so, and she answered, "To hinder you from coming to ask me +for what I could not refuse you at such moments." + +The day before that on which M. and Madame and M. de Chavigni came to +dine with me, she asked me if I had had any amorous adventures in +Holland. I told her about Esther, and when I came to the mole and my +inspection of it, my charming curiosity ran to stop my mouth, her sides +shaking with laughter. I held her gently to me, and could not help +seeking whether she had a mole in the same place, to which she opposed +but a feeble resistance. I was prevented by my unfortunate condition from +immolating the victim on the altar of love, so we confined ourselves to a +make-believe combat which only lasted a minute; however, our eyes took in +it, and our excited feelings were by no means appeased. When we had done +she said, laughing, but yet discreetly,-- + +"My dear friend, we are in love with one another; and if we do not take +care we shall not long be content with this trifling." + +Sighing as she spoke, she wished me good night and went to bed with her +ugly little maid. This was the first time we had allowed ourselves to be +overcome by the violence of our passion, but the first step was taken. As +I retired to rest I felt that I was in love, and foresaw that I should +soon be under the rule of my charming housekeeper. + +M. and Madame--and M. Chavigni gave us an agreeable surprise, the next +day, by coming to dine with us, and we passed the time till dinner by +walking in the garden. My dear Dubois did the honours of the table, and I +was glad to see that my two male guests were delighted with her, for they +did not leave her for a moment during the afternoon, and I was thus +enabled to tell my charmer all I had written to her. Nevertheless I took +care not to say a word about the share my housekeeper had had in the +matter, for my mistress would have been mortified at the thought that her +weakness was known to her. + +"I was delighted to read your letters," said she, "and to hear that that +villainous woman can no longer flatter herself upon having spent two +hours with you. But tell me, how can you have actually spent them with +her without noticing, in spite of the dark, the difference between her +and me? She is much shorter, much thinner, and ten years older. Besides, +her breath is disagreeable, and I think you know that I have not that +defect. Certainly, you could not see her hair, but you could touch, and +yet you noticed nothing! I can scarcely believe it!" + +"Unhappily, it is only too true. I was inebriated with love, and thinking +only of you, I saw nothing but you." + +"I understand how strong the imagination would be at first, but this +element should have been much diminished after the first or second +assault; and, above all, because she differs from me in a matter which I +cannot conceal and she cannot supply." + +"You are right--a burst of Venus! When I think that I only touched two +dangling flabby breasts, I feel as if I did not deserve to live!" + +"And you felt them, and they did not disgust you!" + +"Could I be disgusted, could I even reflect, when I felt certain that I +held you in my arms, you for whom I would give my life. No, a rough skin, +a stinking breath, and a fortification carried with far too much ease; +nothing could moderate my amorous fury." + +"What do I hear? Accursed and unclean woman, nest of impurities! And +could you forgive me all these defects?" + +"I repeat, the idea that I possessed you deprived me of my thinking +faculties; all seemed to me divine." + +"You should have treated me like a common prostitute, you should even +have beaten me on finding me such as you describe." + +"Ah! now you are unjust!" + +"That may be; I am so enraged against that monster that my anger deprives +me of reason. But now that she thinks that she had to do with a servant, +and after the degrading visit she has had she ought to die of rage and +shame. What astonishes me is her believing it, for he is shorter than you +by four inches. And how can she imagine that a servant would do it as +well as you? It's not likely. I am sure she is in love with him now. +Twenty-five louis! He would have been content with ten. What a good thing +that the poor fellow's illness happened so conveniently. But I suppose +you had to tell him all?" + +"Not at all. I gave him to understand that she had made an appointment +with me in that room, and that I had really spent two hours with her, not +speaking for fear of being heard. Then, thinking over the orders I gave +him, he came to the conclusion that on finding myself diseased afterwards +I was disgusted, and being able to disavow my presence I had done so for +the sake of revenge." + +"That's admirable, and the impudence of the Spaniard passes all belief. +But her impudence is the most astonishing thing of all. But supposing her +illness had been a mere trick to frighten you, what a risk the rascal +would have run!" + +"I was afraid of that, as I had no symptoms of disease whatever." + +"But now you really have it, and all through my fault. I am in despair." + +"Be calm, my angel, my disease is of a very trifling nature. I am only +taking nitre, and in a week I shall be quite well again. I hope that then +. . . ." + +"Ah! my dear friend." + +"What?" + +"Don't let us think of that any more, I beseech you." + +"You are disgusted, and not unnaturally; but your love cannot be very +strong, Ah! how unhappy I am." + +"I am more unhappy than you. I love you, and you would be thankless +indeed if you ceased to love me. Let us love each other, but let us not +endeavour to give one another proofs of our love. It might be fatal. That +accursed widow! She is gone away, and in a fortnight we shall be going +also to Bale, where we remain till the end of November." + +The die is cast, and I see that I must submit to your decision, or rather +to my destiny, for none but fatal events have befallen me since I came to +Switzerland. My only consoling thought is that I have made your honour +safe." + +"You have won my husband's friendship and esteem; we shall always be good +friends." + +"If you are going I feel that I must go before you. That will tend to +convince the wretched author of my woe that there is nothing blame-worthy +in my friendship for you." + +"You reason like an angel, and you convince me more and more of your +love. Where are you going?" + +"To Italy; but I shall take Berne and Geneva on my way." + +"You will not be coming to Bale, then? I am glad to hear it, in spite of +the pleasure it would give me to see you. No doubt your arrival would +give a handle for the gossips, and I might suffer by it. But if possible, +in the few days you are to remain, shew yourself to be in good spirits, +for sadness does not become you." + +We rejoined the ambassador and M.---- who had not had time to think about +us, as my dear Dubois had kept them amused by her lively conversation. I +reproached her for the way in which she husbanded her wit as far as I was +concerned, and M. de Chavigni, seizing the opportunity, told us it was +because we were in love, and lovers are known to be chary of their words. +My housekeeper was not long in finding a repartee, and she again began to +entertain the two gentlemen, so that I was enabled to continue my walk +with Madame, who said,-- + +"Your housekeeper, my dear friend, is a masterpiece. Tell me the truth, +and I promise to give you a mark of my gratitude that will please you +before I go." + +"Speak; what do you wish to know?" + +"You love her and she loves you in return." + +"I think you are right, but so far . . . ." + +"I don't want to know any more, for if matters are not yet arranged they +soon will be, and so it comes to the same thing. If you had told me you +did not love her I should not have believed you, for I can't conceive +that a man of your age can live with a woman like that without loving +her. She is very pretty and exceedingly intelligent, she has good +spirits, talents, an excellent manner, and she speaks exceedingly well: +that is enough to charm you, and I expect you will find it difficult to +separate from her. Lebel did her a bad turn in sending her to you, as she +used to have an excellent reputation, and now she will no longer be able +to get a place with ladies in the highest society." + +"I shall take her to Berne." + +"That is a good idea." + +Just as they were going I said that I should soon be coming to Soleure to +thank them for the distinguished reception they had given me, as I +proposed leaving in a few days. The idea of never seeing Madame again was +so painful to me that as soon as I got in I went to bed, and my +housekeeper, respecting my melancholy, retired after wishing me +good-night. + +In two or three days I received a note from my charmer, bidding me call +upon them the day following at about ten o'clock, and telling me I was to +ask for dinner. I carried out her orders to the letter. M. gave me a most +friendly reception, but saying that he was obliged to go into the country +and could not be home till one o'clock, he begged me not to be offended +if he delivered me over to his wife for the morning. Such is the fate of +a miserable husband! His wife was engaged with a young girl at +tambour-work; I accepted her company on the condition that she would not +allow me to disturb her work. + +The girl went away at noon, and soon after we went to enjoy the fresh air +outside the house. We sat in a summer-house from which, ourselves unseen, +we could see all the carriages that approached the house. + +"Why, dearest, did you not procure me the bliss when I was in good +health." + +"Because at that time my husband suspected that you turned yourself into +a waiter for my sake, and that you could not be indifferent towards me. +Your discretion has destroyed his suspicions; and also your housekeeper, +whom he believes to be your wife, and who has taken his fancy to such an +extent, that I believe he would willingly consent to an exchange, for a +few days at any rate. Would you agree?" + +"Ah! if the exchange could be effected." + +Having only an hour before me, and foreseeing that it would be the last I +should pass beside her, I threw myself at her feet. She was full of +affection, and put no obstacles in the way of my desires, save those +which my own feelings dictated, for I loved her too well to consent to +injure her health. I did all I could to replace the utmost bliss, but the +pleasure she enjoyed doubtless consisted in a great measure in shewing me +her superiority to the horrible widow. + +When we saw the husband's carriage coming, we rose and took care that the +worthy man should not find us in the arbour. He made a thousand excuses +for not having returned sooner. + +We had an excellent dinner, and at table he talked almost entirely of my +housekeeper, and he seemed moved when I said I meant to take her to +Lausanne to her mother. I took leave of them at five o'clock with a +broken heart, and from there I went to M. de Chavigni and told him all my +adventures. He had a right to be told, as he had done all in his power to +insure the success of a project which had only failed by an unexampled +fatality. + +In admiration of my dear Dubois's wit--for I did not conceal the part she +played he said that old as he was he should think himself quite happy if +he had such a woman with him, and he was much pleased when I told him +that I was in love with her. "Don't give yourself the trouble, my dear +Casanova, of running from house to house to take leave," said the amiable +nobleman. "It can be done just as well at the assembly, and you need not +even stay to supper, if you don't want to." + +I followed his advice, and thus saw again Madame as I thought, for the +last time, but I was wrong; I saw her ten years afterwards; and at the +proper time the reader will see where, when, how, and under what +circumstances. + +Before going away, I followed the ambassador to his room to thank him as +he deserved, for his kindness, and to ask him to give me a letter of +introduction for Berne, where I thought of staying a fortnight. I also +begged him to send Lebel to me that we might settle our accounts. He told +me that Lebel should bring me a letter for M. de Muralt, the Mayor of +Thun. + +When I got home, feeling sad on this, the eve of my leaving a town where +I had but trifling victories and heavy losses, I thanked my housekeeper +for waiting for me, and to give her a good night I told her that in three +days we should set out for Berne, and that my mails must be packed. + +Next day, after a somewhat silent breakfast, she said,-- + +"You will take me with you, won't you?" + +"Certainly, if you like me well enough to want to go." + +"I would go with you to the end of the world, all the more as you are now +sick and sad, and when I saw you first you were blithe and well. If I +must leave you, I hope at least to see you happy first." + +The doctor came in just then to tell me that my poor Spaniard was so ill +that he could not leave his bed. + +"I will have him cured at Berne," said I; "tell him that we are going to +dine there the day after to-morrow." + +"I must tell you, sir, that though it's only a seven leagues' journey, he +cannot possibly undertake it as he has lost the use of all his limbs." + +"I am sorry to hear that, doctor." + +"I dare say, but it's true." + +"I must verify the matter with my own eyes;" and so saying I went to see +Le Duc. + +I found the poor rascal, as the doctor had said, incapable of motion. He +had only the use of his tongue and his eyes. + +"You are in a pretty state," said I to him. + +"I am very ill, sir, though otherwise I feel quite well." + +"I expect so, but as it is you can't move, and I want to dine at Berne +the day after to-morrow." + +"Have me carried there, I shall get cured." + +"You are right, I will have you carried in a litter." + +"I shall look like a saint out for a walk." + +I told one of the servants to look after him, and to see to all that was +necessary for our departure. I had him taken to the "Falcon" by two +horses who drew his litter. + +Lebel came at noon and gave me the letter his master had written for M. +de Murat. He brought his receipts and I paid everything without +objection, as I found him an entirely honest man, and I had him to dinner +with Madame Dubois and myself. I did not feel disposed to talk, and I was +glad to see that they got on without me; they talked away admirably and +amused me, for Lebel was by no means wanting in wit. He said he was very +glad I had given him an opportunity of knowing the housekeeper, as he +could not say he had known her before, having only seen her two or three +times in passing through Lausanne. On rising from the table he asked my +permission to write to her, and she, putting in her voice, called on him +not to forget to do so. + +Lebel was a good-natured man, of an honest appearance, and approaching +his fiftieth year. Just as he was going, without asking my leave, he +embraced her in the French fashion, and she seemed not to have the +slightest objection. + +She told me as soon as he was gone that this worthy man might be useful +to her, and that she was delighted to enter into a correspondence with +him. + +The next day was spent in putting everything in order for our short +journey, and Le Duc went off in his litter, intending to rest for the +night at four leagues from Soleure. On the day following, after I had +remembered the door-keeper, the cook, and the man-servant I was leaving +behind, I set out in my carriage with the charming Dubois, and at eleven +o'clock I arrived at the inn at Berne, where Le Duc had preceded me by +two hours. In the first place, knowing the habits of Swiss innkeepers, I +made an agreement with the landlord; and I then told the servant I had +kept, who came from Berne, to take care of Le Duc, to put him under good +medical superintendence, and to bid the doctor spare nothing to cure him +completely. + +I dined with my housekeeper in her room, for she had a separate lodging, +and after sending my letter to M. de Muralt I went out for a walk. + + + + +CHAPTER XVII + +Berne--La Mata Madame de la Saone--Sara--My Departure--Arrival at Bale + +I reached an elevation from which I could look over a vast stretch of +country watered by a little river, and noticing a path leading to a kind +of stair, the fancy took me to follow it. I went down about a hundred +steps, and found forty small closets which I concluded were bathing +machines. While I was looking at the place an honest-looking fellow came +up to me, and asked me if I would like a bath. I said I would, and he +opened one of the closets, and before long I surrounded by a crowd of +young girls. + +"Sir," said the man, "they all aspire to the honour of attending you +while you bathe; you have only to choose which it shall be. Half-a-crown +will pay for the bath, the girl, and your coffee." + +As if I were the Grand Turk, I examined the swarm of rustic beauties, and +threw my handkerchief at the one I liked the best. We went into a closet, +and shutting the door with the most serious air, without even looking at +me, she undressed me, and put a cotton cap on my head, and as soon as she +saw me in the water she undressed herself as coolly as possible, and +without a word came into the bath. Then she rubbed me all over, except in +a certain quarter, which I had covered with my hands. When I thought I +had been manipulated sufficiently, I asked for coffee. She got out of the +bath, opened the door, and after asking for what I wanted got in again +without the slightest consciousness. + +When the coffee came she got out again to take it, shut the door, and +returned to the bath, and held the tray while I was drinking, and when I +had finished she remained beside me. + +Although I had taken no great notice of her, I could see that she +possessed all the qualifications a man could desire in a woman: fine +features, lively eyes, a pretty mouth, and an excellent row of teeth, a +healthy complexion, a well-rounded bosom a curved back, and all else in +the same sort. I certainly thought her hands might have been softer, but +their hardness was probably due to hard work. Furthermore, she was only +eighteen, and yet I remained cold to all her charms. How was that? That +was the question I asked myself; and I think the reason probably was that +she was too natural, too devoid of those assumed graces and coquettish +airs which women employ with so much art for the seduction of men. We +only care for artifice and false show. Perhaps, too, our senses, to be +irritated, require woman's charms to be veiled by modesty. But if, +accustomed as we are to clothe ourselves, the face is the smallest factor +in our perfect happiness, how is it that the face plays the principal +part in rendering a man amorous? Why do we take the face as an index of +a woman's beauty, and why do we forgive her when the covered parts are +not in harmony with her features? Would it not be much more reasonable +and sensible to veil the face, and to have the rest of the body naked? +Thus when we fall in love with a woman, we should only want, as the crown +of our bliss, to see a face answerable to those other charms which had +taken our fancy. There can be no doubt that that would be the better +plan, as in that case we should only be seduced by a perfect beauty, and +we should grant an easy pardon if at the lifting of the mask we found +ugliness instead of loveliness. Under those circumstances an ugly woman, +happy in exercising the seductive power of her other charms, would never +consent to unveil herself; while the pretty ones would not have to be +asked. The plain women would not make us sigh for long; they would be +easily subdued on the condition of remaining veiled, and if they did +consent to unmask, it would be only after they had practically convinced +one that enjoyment is possible without facial beauty. And it is evident +and undeniable that inconstancy only proceeds from the variety of +features. If a man did not see the face, he would always be constant and +always in love with the first woman who had taken his fancy. I know that +in the opinion of the foolish all this will seem folly, but I shall not +be on the earth to answer their objections. + +When I had left the bath, she wiped me with towels, put on my shirt, and +then in the same state--that is, quite naked, she did my hair. + +While I was dressing she dressed herself too, and having soon finished +she came to buckle my shoes. I then gave her half-a-crown for the bath +and six francs for herself; she kept the half-crown, but gave me back the +six francs with silent contempt. I was mortified; I saw that I had +offended her, and that she considered her behaviour entitled her to +respect. I went away in a bad enough humour. + +After supper I could not help telling my dear Dubois of the adventure I +had had in the afternoon, and she made her own comments on the details. +"She can't have been pretty," said she, "for if she had been, you would +certainly have given way. I should like to see her." + +"If you like I will take you there." + +"I should be delighted." + +"But you will have to dress like a man:" + +She rose, went out without a word, and in a quarter of an hour returned +in a suit of Le Duc's, but minus the trousers, as she had certain +protuberances which would have stood out too much I told her to take a +pair of my breeches, and we settled to go to the bath next morning. + +She came to wake at six o'clock. She was dressed like a man, and wore a +blue overcoat which disguised her shape admirably. I rose and went to La +Mata, as the place is called. + +Animated by the pleasure the expedition gave her, my dear Dubois looked +radiant. Those who saw her must have seen through her disguise, she was +so evidently a woman; so she wrapped herself up in her overcoat as well +as she could. + +As soon as we arrived we saw the master of the baths, who asked me if I +wanted a closet for four, and I replied in the affirmative. We were soon +surrounded by the girls, and I shewed my housekeeper the one who had not +seduced me; she made choice of her, and I having fixed upon a big, +determined-looking wench, we shut ourselves up in the bath. + +As soon as I was undressed I went into the water with my big attendant. +My housekeeper was not so quick; the novelty of the thing astonished her, +and her expression told me that she repented of having come; but putting +a good face on it, she began to laugh at seeing me rubbed by the feminine +grenadier. She had some trouble before she could take off her chemise, +but as it is only the first step that costs, she let it fall off, and +though she held her two hands before her she dazzled me, in spite of +myself, by the beauty of her form. Her attendant prepared to treat her as +she had treated me, but she begged to be left alone; and on my following +her example she felt obliged to let me look after her. + +The two Swiss girls, who had no doubt often been present at a similar +situation, began to give us a spectacle which was well known to me, but +which was quite strange to my dear Dubois. + +These two Bacchantes began to imitate the caresses I lavished on my +housekeeper, who was quite astonished at the amorous fury with which my +attendant played the part of a man with the other girl. I confess I was a +little surprised myself, in spite of the transports which my fair +Venetian nun had shewn me six years before in conjunction with +C---- C----. + +I could not have imagined that anything of the kind could have distracted +my attention, holding, as I did, the woman I loved, whose charms were +sufficient to captivate all the senses; but the strange strife of the two +young Menads took up her attention as well as mine. + +"Your attendant," said she, "must be a boy, not a girl." + +"But," said I, "you saw her breasts." + +"Yes, but she may be a boy all the same." + +The big Swiss girl who had heard what we had said turned round and shewed +me what I should not have credited. There could be no mistake, however. +It was a feminine membrane, but much longer than my little finger, and +stiff enough to penetrate. I explained to my dear Dubois what it was, but +to convince her I had to make her touch it. The impudent creature pushed +her shamelessness so far as to offer to try it on her, and she insisted +so passionately that I was obliged to push her away. She then turned to +her companion and satiated on her body her fury of lust. In spite of its +disgusting nature, the sight irritated us to such a degree that my +housekeeper yielded to nature and granted me all I could desire. + +This entertainment lasted for two hours, and we returned to the town well +pleased with one another. On leaving the bath I gave a Louis to each of +the two Bacchantes, and we went away determined to go there no more. It +will be understood that after what had happened there could be no further +obstacle to the free progress of our love; and accordingly my dear Dubois +became my mistress, and we made each other happy during all the time we +spent at Berne. I was quite cured of my misadventure with the horrible +widow, and I found that if love's pleasures are fleeting so are its +pains. I will go farther and maintain that the pleasures are of much +longer duration, as they leave memories which can be enjoyed in old age, +whereas, if a man does happen to remember the pains, it is so slightly as +to have no influence upon his happiness. + +At ten o'clock the Mayor of Thun was announced. He was dressed in the +French fashion, in black, and had a manner at once graceful and polite +that pleased me. He was middle-aged, and enjoyed a considerable position +in the Government. He insisted on my reading the letter that M. de +Chavigni had written to him on my account. It was so flattering that I +told him that if it had not been sealed I should not have had the face to +deliver it. He asked me for the next day to a supper composed of men +only, and for the day after that, to a supper at which women as well as +men would be present. I went with him to the library where we saw M. +Felix, an unfrocked monk, more of a scribbler than a scholar, and a young +man named Schmidt, who gave good promise, and was already known to +advantage in the literary world. I also had the misfortune of meeting +here a very learned man of a very wearisome kind; he knew the names of +ten thousand shells by heart, and I was obliged to listen to him for two +hours, although I was totally ignorant of his science. Amongst other +things he told me that the Aar contained gold. I replied that all great +rivers contained gold, but he shrugged his shoulders and did not seem +convinced. + +I dined with M. de Muralt in company with four or five of the most +distinguished women in Berne. I liked them very well, and above all +Madame de Saconai struck me as particularly amiable and well-educated. I +should have paid my addresses to her if I had been staying long in the +so-called capital of Switzerland. + +The ladies of Berne are well though not extravagantly dressed, as luxury +is forbidden by the laws. Their manners are good and they speak French +with perfect ease. They enjoy the greatest liberty without abusing it, +for in spite of gallantry decency reigns everywhere. The husbands are not +jealous, but they require their wives to be home by supper-time. + +I spent three weeks in the town, my time being divided between my dear +Dubois and an old lady of eighty-five who interested me greatly by her +knowledge of chemistry. She had been intimately connected with the +celebrated Boerhaave, and she shewed me a plate of gold he had transmuted +in her presence from copper. I believed as much as I liked of this, but +she assured me that Boerhaave possessed the philosopher's stone, but that +he had not discovered the secret of prolonging life many years beyond the +century. Boerhaave, however, was not able to apply this knowledge to +himself, as he died of a polypus on the heart before he had attained the +age of perfect maturity, which Hypocrates fixes at between sixty and +seventy years. The four millions he left to his daughter, if they do not +prove that he could make gold, certainly prove that he could save it. The +worthy old woman told me he had given her a manuscript in which the whole +process was explained, but that she found it very obscure. + +"You should publish it," said I. + +"God forbid!" + +"Burn it, then." + +"I can't make up my mind to do so." + +M. de Muralt took me to see the military evolutions gone through by the +citizens of Berne, who are all soldiers, and I asked him the meaning of +the bear to be seen above the gate of the town. The German for bear is +'bar', 'bern', and the animal has given its name to the town and canton +which rank second in the Republic, although it is in the first place for +its wealth and culture. It is a peninsula formed by the Aar, which rises +near the Rhine. The mayor spoke to me of the power of the canton, its +lordships and bailiwicks, and explained his own powers; he then described +the public policy, and told me of the different systems of government +which compose the Helvetic Union. + +"I understand perfectly well," I said, "that each of the thirteen cantons +has its own government." + +"I daresay you do," he replied, "but what you don't understand any more +than I do is, that there is a canton which has four separate +governments." + +I had an excellent supper with fourteen or fifteen senators. There were +no jokes, no frivolous conversation, and no literature; but law, the +commonweal, commerce, political economy, speculation, love of country, +and the duty of preferring liberty to life, in abundance. + +I felt as if I were in a new element, but I enjoyed the privilege of +being a man amidst men who were all in honour to our common humanity. But +as the supper went on, these rigid republicans began to expand, the +discourse became less measured, there were even some bursts of laughter, +owing to the wine. I excited their pity, and though they praised sobriety +they thought mine excessive. However, they respected my liberty, and did +not oblige me to drink, as the Russians, Swedes, Poles, and most northern +peoples do. + +We parted at midnight--a very late hour in Switzerland, and as they +wished me a good night, each of them made me a sincere offer of his +friendship. One of the company at an early period of the supper, before +he had begun to get mellow, had condemned the Venetian Republic for +banishing the Grisons, but on his intellect being enlightened by Bacchus +he made his apologies. + +"Every government," said he, "ought to know its own interests better than +strangers, and everybody should be allowed to do what he wills with his +own." + +When I got home I found my housekeeper lying in my bed. I gave her a +hundred caresses in witness of my joy, and I assured her practically of +my love and gratitude. I considered her as my wife, we cherished each +other, and did not allow the thought of separating to enter our minds. +When two lovers love each other in all freedom, the idea of parting seems +impossible. + +Next morning I got a letter from the worthy Madame d'Urfe, who begged me +to call on Madame de la Saone, wife of a friend of hers--a +lieutenant-general. This lady had come to Berne in the hope of getting +cured of a disease which had disfigured her in an incredible manner. +Madame de la Saone was immediately introduced to all the best society in +the place. She gave a supper every day, only asking men; she had an +excellent cook. She had given notice that she would pay no calls, and she +was quite right. I hastened to make my bow to her; but, good Heavens! +what a terrible and melancholy sight did I behold! + +I saw a woman dressed with the utmost elegance, reclining voluptuously +upon a couch. As soon as she saw me she arose, gave me a most gracious +reception, and going back to her couch invited me to sit beside her. She +doubtless noticed my surprise, but being probably accustomed to the +impression which the first sight of her created, she talked on in the +most friendly manner, and by so doing diminished my aversion. + +Her appearance was as follows: Madame de Saone was beautifully dressed, +and had the whitest hands and the roundest arms that can be imagined. Her +dress, which was cut very low, allowed me to see an exquisite breast of +dazzling whiteness, heightened by two rosy buds; her figure was good, and +her feet the smallest I have ever seen. All about her inspired love, but +when one's eyes turned to her face every other feeling gave way to those +of horror and pity. She was fearful. Instead of a face, one saw a +blackened and disgusting scab. No feature was distinguishable, and her +ugliness was made more conspicuous and dreadful by two fine eyes full of +fire, and by a lipless mouth which she kept parted, as if to disclose two +rows of teeth of dazzling whiteness. She could not laugh, for the pain +caused by the contraction of the muscles would doubtless have drawn tears +to her eyes; nevertheless she appeared contented, her conversation was +delightful, full of wit and humour, and permeated with the tone of good +society. She might be thirty at the most, and she had left three +beautiful young children behind in Paris. Her husband was a fine, +well-made man, who loved her tenderly, and had never slept apart from +her. It is probable that few soldiers have shewn such courage as this, +but it is to be supposed that he did not carry his bravery so far as to +kiss her, as the very thought made one shudder. A disorder contracted +after her first child-bed had left the poor woman in this sad state, and +she had borne it for ten years. All the best doctors in France had tried +in vain to cure her, and she had come to Berne to put herself into the +hands of two well-known physicians who had promised to do so. Every quack +makes promises of this sort; their patients are cured or not cured as it +happens, and provided that they pay heavily the doctor is ready enough to +lay the fault, not on his ignorance, but at the door of his poor deluded +patient. + +The doctor came while I was with her, and just as her intelligent +conversation was making me forget her face. She had already began to take +his remedies, which were partly composed of mercury. + +"It seems to me," said she, "that the itching has increased since I have +taken your medicines." + +"It will last," said the son of AEsculapius, "till the end of the cure, +and that will take about three months." + +"As long as I scratch myself," said she, "I shall be in the same state, +and the cure will never be completed." + +The doctor replied in an evasive manner. I rose to take my leave, and +holding my hand she asked me to supper once for all. I went the same +evening; the poor woman took everything and drank some wine, as the +doctor had not put her on any diet. I saw that she would never be cured. + +Her good temper and her charming conversational powers kept all the +company amused. I conceived that it would be possible to get used to her +face, and to live with her without being disgusted. In the evening I +talked about her to my housekeeper, who said that the beauty of her body +and her mental endowments might be sufficient to attract people to her. I +agreed, though I felt that I could never become one of her lovers. + +Three or four days after, I went to a bookseller's to read the newspaper, +and was politely accosted by a fine young man of twenty, who said that +Madame de la Saone was sorry not to have seen me again at supper. + +"You know the lady?" + +"I had the honour to sup at her house with you." + +"True; I remember you." + +"I get her the books she likes, as I am a bookseller, and not only do I +sup with her every evening, but we breakfast together every morning +before she gets up." + +"I congratulate you. I bet you are in love with her." + +"You are pleased to jest, but she is pleasanter than you think." + +"I do not jest at all, but I would wager she would not have the courage +to push things to an extremity." + +"Perhaps you would lose." + +"Really? I should be very glad to." + +"Let us make a bet." + +"How will you convince me I have lost?" + +"Let us bet a louis, and you must promise to be discreet." + +"Very good." + +"Come and sup at her house this evening, and I will tell you something." + +"You shall see me there." + +When I got home I told my housekeeper what I had heard. + +"I am curious to know," said she, "how he will convince you." I promised +to tell her, which pleased her very much. + +I was exact to my appointment. Madame de la Saone reproached me +pleasantly for my absence, and gave me a delicious supper. The young +bookseller was there, but as his sweetheart did not speak a word to him +he said nothing and passed unnoticed. + +After supper we went out together, and he told me on the way that if I +liked he would satisfy me the next morning at eight o'clock. "Call here, +and the lady's maid will tell you her mistress is not visible, but you +have only to say that you will wait, and that you will go into the +ante-chamber. This room has a glass door commanding a view of madame's +bed, and I will take care to draw back the curtains over the door so that +you will be able to see at your ease all that passes between us. When the +affair is over I shall go out by another door, she will call her maid, +and you will be shewn in. At noon, if you will allow me, I will bring you +some books to the 'Falcon,' and if you find that you have lost you shall +pay me my louis." I promised to carry out his directions, and we parted. + +I was curious to see what would happen, though I by no means regarded it +as an impossibility; and on my presenting myself at eight o'clock, the +maid let me in as soon as I said that I could wait. I found a corner of +the glass door before which there was no curtain, and on applying my eye +to the place I saw my young adventurer holding his conquest in his arms +on the bed. An enormous nightcap entirely concealed her face--an +excellent precaution which favoured the bookseller's enterprise. + +When the rascal saw that I had taken up my position, he did not keep me +waiting, for, getting up, he presented to my dazzled gaze, not only the +secret treasures of his sweetheart, but his own also. He was a small man, +but where the lady was most concerned he was a Hercules, and the rogue +seemed to make a parade of his proportions as if to excite my jealousy. +He turned his victim round so that I should see her under all aspects, +and treated her manfully, while she appeared to respond to his ardour +with all her might. Phidias could not have modelled his Venus on a finer +body; her form was rounded and voluptuous, and as white as Parian marble. +I was affected in a lively manner by the spectacle, and re-entered my +lodging so inflamed that if my dear Dubois had not been at hand to quench +my fire I should have been obliged to have extinguished it in the baths +of La Mata. + +When I had told her my tale she wanted to know the hero of it, and at +noon she had that pleasure. The young bookseller brought me some books I +had ordered, and while paying him for them I gave him our bet and a Louis +over and above as a mark of my satisfaction at his prowess. He took it +with a smile which seemed to shew that he thought I ought to think myself +lucky to have lost. My housekeeper looked at him for some time, and asked +if he knew her; he said he did not. + +"I saw you when you were a child," said she. "You are the son of M. +Mignard, minister of the Gospel. You must have been ten when I saw you." + +"Possibly, madam." + +"You did not care to follow your father's profession, then?" + +"No madam, I feel much more inclined to the worship of the creature than +to that of the Creator, and I did not think my father's profession would +suit me." + +"You are right, for a minister of the Gospel ought to be discreet, and +discretion is a restraint." + +This stroke made him blush, but we did not give him time to lose courage. +I asked him to dine with me, and without mentioning the name of Madame de +la Saone he told his amorous adventures and numerous anecdotes about the +pretty women of Berne. + +After he had gone, my housekeeper said that once was quite enough to see +a young man of his complexion. I agreed with her, and had no more to do +with him; but I heard that Madame de Saone took him to Paris and made his +fortune. Many fortunes are made in this manner, and there are some which +originated still more nobly. I only returned to Madame de la Saone to +take my leave, as I shall shortly relate. + +I was happy with my charmer, who told me again and again that with me she +lived in bliss. No fears or doubts as to the future troubled her mind; +she was certain, as I was, that we should never leave each other; and she +told me she would pardon all the infidelities I might be guilty of, +provided I made full confession. Hers, indeed, was a disposition with +which to live in peace and content, but I was not born to enjoy such +happiness. + +After we had been a fortnight at Berne, my housekeeper received a letter +from Soleure. It came from Lebel. As I saw she read it with great +attention, I asked her what it was about. + +"Take it and read it," said she; and she sat down in front of me to read +my soul by the play of my features. + +Lebel asked her, in concise terms, if she would become his wife. + +"I have only put off the proposition," said he, "to set my affairs in +order, and to see if I could afford to marry you, even if the consent of +the ambassador were denied us. I find I am rich enough to live well in +Berne or elsewhere without the necessity of my working; however I shall +not have to face the alternative, for at the first hint of the matter M. +de Chavigni gave his consent with the best grace imaginable." + +He went on begging her not to keep him long waiting for a reply, and to +tell him in the first place if she consented; in the second, whether she +would like to live at Berne and be mistress in her own house, or whether +she would prefer to return to Soleure and live with the ambassador, which +latter plan might bring them some profit. He ended by declaring that +whatever she had would be for her sole use, and that he would give her a +dower of a hundred thousand francs. He did not say a word about me. + +"Dearest," said I, "you are at perfect liberty to choose your own course, +but I cannot contemplate your leaving me without considering myself as +the most unhappy of men." + +"And if I lose you I should be the most unhappy of women; for if you love +me I care not whether we are married or no." + +"Very good; but what answer are you going to make." + +"You shall see my letter to-morrow. I shall tell him politely but plainly +that I love you, that I am yours, that I am happy, and that it is thus +impossible for me to accept his flattering propositions. I shall also say +that I appreciate his generosity, and that if I were wise I should accept +him, but that being the slave of my love for you I can only follow my +inclination." + +"I think you give an excellent turn to your letter. In refusing such an +offer you could not have better reasons than those you give, and it would +be absurd to try and persuade him that we are not lovers, as the thing is +self-evident. Nevertheless, my darling, the letter saddens me." + +"Why, dearest?" + +"Because I have not a hundred thousand francs to offer you." + +"I despise them; and if you were to offer me such a sum, I should only +accept it to lay it at your feet. You are certainly not destined to +become miserable, but if that should come to pass, be sure that I should +be only too happy to share your misery." + +We fell into one another's arms, and love made us taste all its +pleasures. Nevertheless, in the midst of bliss, some tinge of sadness +gained upon our souls. Languishing love seems to redouble its strength, +but it is only in appearance; sadness exhausts love more than enjoyment. +Love is a madcap who must be fed on laughter and mirth, otherwise he dies +of inanition. + +Next day my sweetheart wrote to Lebel in the sense she had decided on, +and I felt obliged to write M. de Chavigni a letter in which love, +sentiment, and philosophy were mingled. I did not conceal from him that I +loved the woman whom Lebel coveted to distraction, but I said that as a +man of honour I would rather die than deprive my sweetheart of such solid +advantages. + +My letter delighted the housekeeper, for she was anxious to know what the +ambassador thought of the affair, which needed much reflection. + +I got on the same day the letters of introduction I had asked Madame +d'Urfe to give me, and I determined, to the joy of my dear Dubois, to set +out for Lausanne. But we must hark back a little. + +When one is sincerely in love, one thinks the beloved object full of +deserts, and the mind, the dupe of the feelings, thinks all the world +jealous of its bliss. + +A. M. de F----, member of the Council of the Two Hundred, whom I had met +at Madame de la Saone's, had become my friend. He came to see me and I +introduced him to my dear Dubois, whom he treated with the same +distinction he would have used towards my wife. He had presented us to +his wife, and had come several times to see us with her and her daughter +Sara. Sara was only thirteen, but she was extremely precocious, dark +complexioned, and full of wit; she was continually uttering naivetes, of +which she understood the whole force, although looking at her face one +would have thought her perfectly innocent. She excelled in the art of +making her father and mother believe in her innocence, and thus she +enjoyed plenty of liberty. + +Sara had declared that she was in love with my housekeeper, and as her +parents laughed at her she lavished her caresses on my dear Dubois. She +often came to breakfast with us, and when she found us in bed she would +embrace my sweetheart, whom she called her wife, passing her hand over +the coverlet to tickle her, telling her that she was her wife, and that +she wanted to have a child. My sweetheart laughed and let her go on. + +One day I told her jokingly that she would make me jealous, that I +thought she really was a man, and that I was going to make sure. The sly +little puss told me that I was making a mistake, but her hand seemed +rather to guide mine than to oppose it. That made me curious, and my mind +was soon set at rest as to her sex. Perceiving that she had taken me in +and got exactly what she wanted, I drew back my hand, and imparted my +suspicions to my housekeeper, who said I was right. However, as the +little girl had no part in my affections, I did not push the thing any +farther. + +Two or three days after, this girl came in as I was getting up, and said +in her usual simple way, + +"Now that you know I am not really a man you can not be jealous or have +objection to my taking your place beside my little wife, if she will let +me." + +My housekeeper, who looked inclined to laugh, said, + +"Come along." + +In the twinkling of an eye she was undressed and in the arms of her +little wife, whom she proceeded to treat as an amorous husband. My +sweetheart laughed, and Sara, having contrived in the combat to rid +herself of her chemise and the coverlet, displayed herself to me without +any veil, while at the same time she shewed me all the beauties of my +sweetheart. This sight inflamed me. I shut the door, and made the little +hussy witness of my ardour with my sweetheart. Sara looked on +attentively, playing the part of astonishment to perfection, and when I +had finished she said, with the utmost simplicity, + +"Do it again:" + +"I can't, my dear; don't you see I am a dead man?" + +"That's very funny," she cried; and with the most perfect innocence she +came over, and tried to effect my resurrection. + +When she had succeeded in placing me in the wished-for condition, she +said, "Now go in;" and I should doubtless have obeyed, but my housekeeper +said, "No, dearest, since you have effected its resurrection, you must +make it die again." + +"I should like to," said she, "but I am afraid I have not got enough +room;" and so saying she placed herself in a position to shew me that she +was speaking the truth, and that if she did not make me die it was not +her fault. + +Imitating her simplicity I approached her, as if I wished to oblige her, +but not to go too far; but not finding any resistance I accomplished the +act in all its forms, without her giving the slightest evidence of pain, +without any of the accidents of a first trial, but, on the contrary, with +all the marks of the utmost enjoyment. + +Although I was sure of the contrary, I kept my self-possession enough to +tell my housekeeper that Sara had given me what can only be given once, +and she pretended to believe me. + +When the operation was finished, we had another amusing scene. Sara +begged us not to say a word about it to her papa or mamma, as they would +be sure to scold her as they had scolded her when she got her ears +pierced without asking their leave. + +Sara knew that we saw through her feigned simplicity, but she pretended +not to do so as it was to her own advantage. Who could have instructed +her in the arts of deceit? Nobody; only her natural wit, less rare in +childhood than in youth, but always rare and astonishing. Her mother said +her simplicities shewed that she would one day be very intelligent, and +her father maintained that they were signs of her stupidity. But if Sara +had been stupid, our bursts of laughter would have disconcerted her; and +she would have died for shame, instead of appearing all the better +pleased when her father deplored her stupidity. She would affect +astonishment, and by way of curing one sort of stupidity she corroborated +it by displaying another. She asked us questions to which we could not +reply, and laughed at her instead, although it was evident that before +putting such questions she must have reasoned over them. She might have +rejoined that the stupidity was on our side, but by so doing she would +have betrayed herself. + +Lebel did not reply to his sweetheart, but M. de Chavigni wrote me a +letter of four pages. He spoke like a philosopher and an experienced man +of the world. + +He shewed me that if I were an old man like him, and able to insure a +happy and independent existence to my sweetheart after my death, I should +do well to keep her from all men, especially as there was so perfect a +sympathy between us; but that as I was a young man, and did not intend to +bind myself to her by the ties of marriage, I should not only consent to +a union which seemed for her happiness, but that as a man of honour it +was my duty to use my influence with her in favour of the match. "With +your experience," said the kind old gentleman, "you ought to know that a +time would come when you would regret both having lost this opportunity, +for your love is sure to become friendship, and then another love will +replace that which you now think as firm as the god Terminus. + +"Lebel," he added, "has told me his plans, and far from disapproving, I +have encouraged him, for your charming friend won my entire esteem in the +five or six times I had the pleasure of seeing her with you. I shall be +delighted, therefore, to have her in my house, where I can enjoy her +conversation without transgressing the laws of propriety. Nevertheless, +you will understand that at my age I have formed no desires, for I could +not satisfy them even if their object were propitious." He ended by +telling me that Lebel had not fallen in love in a young man's style, that +he had reflected on what he was doing, and that he would consequently not +hurry her, as she would see in the letter he was going to send her. A +marriage ought always to be undertaken in cold blood. + +I gave the letter to my housekeeper, who read it attentively, and gave it +back to me quite coolly. + +"What do you think of his advice, dearest?" + +"I think I had better follow it: he says there is no hurry, and delay is +all we want. Let us love each other and think only of that. This letter +is written with great wisdom, but I cannot imagine our becoming +indifferent to each other, though I know such a thing is possible." + +"Never indifferent; you make a mistake there." + +"Well, friends, then; and that is not much better after being lovers." + +"But friendship, dearest, is never indifferent. Love, it is true, may be +in its composition. We know it, as it has been thus from the beginning of +the world." + +"Then the ambassador was right. Repentance might come and torment us when +love had been replaced by calmer friendship." + +"If you think so, let us marry each other to-morrow, and punish thereby +the vices of our human nature." + +"Yes, we will marry, but there is no hurry; fearing lest hymen should +quicken the departure of love, let us enjoy our happiness while we can." + +"You speak admirably, my angel, and deserve the greatest good fortune." + +"I wish for no greater than what you procure me." + +We went to bed, continuing our discussions, and when we were in each +other's arms we made an arrangement which suited us very well. + +"Lausanne," said she, "is a little town where you would meet with the +warmest hospitality, and during your fortnight's stay you will have +nothing to do but to make visits and to go to suppers. I am known to all +the nobility, and the Duke of Rosebury, who wearied me with his +love-making, is still there. My appearance with you will make everybody +talk, and it will be as annoying for you as for me. My mother lives +there, too. She would say nothing, but in her heart she would be +ill-pleased to see me as the housekeeper of a man like you, for common +sense would inform everyone that I was your mistress." + +I thought she was right, and that it would be well to respect the rules +of society. We decided that she should go to Lausanne by herself and stay +with her mother, that in two or three days I should follow her, and +should live by myself, as long as I liked, having full liberty to see her +at her mother's. + +"When you leave Lausanne," said she, "I will rejoin you at Geneva, and +then we will travel together where you please and as long as our love +lasts." + +In two days she started early in the morning, sure of my constancy, and +congratulating herself on her discretion. I was sad at her leaving me, +but my calls to take leave served to rouse me from my grief. I wished to +make M. Haller's acquaintance before I left Switzerland, and the mayor, +M. de Muralt, gave me a letter of introduction to him very handsomely +expressed. M. de Haller was the bailiff of Roche. + +When I called to take leave of Madame de la Saone I found her in bed, and +I was obliged to remain by her bedside for a quarter of an hour. She +spoke of her disease, and gave the conversation such a turn that she was +able with perfect propriety to let me see that the ravages of the disease +had not impaired the beauty of her body. The sight convinced me that +Mignard had need of less courage than I thought, and I was within an inch +of doing her the same service. It was easy enough to look only at her +body, and it would have been difficult to behold anything more beautiful. + +I know well that prudes and hypocrites, if they ever read these Memoirs, +will be scandalized at the poor lady, but in shewing her person so +readily she avenged herself on the malady which had disfigured her. +Perhaps, too, her goodness of heart and politeness told her what a trial +it was to look at her face, and she wished to indemnify the man who +disguised his feelings of repugnance by shewing him what gifts nature had +given her. I am sure, ladies, that the most prudish--nay, the most +virtuous, amongst you, if you were unfortunate enough to be so +monstrously deformed in the face, would introduce some fashion which +would conceal your ugliness, and display those beauties which custom +hides from view. And doubtless Madame de la Saone would have been more +chary of her person if she had been able to enchant with her face like +you. + +The day I left I dined with M---- I----, and was severely taken to task by +pretty Sara for having sent her little wife away before me. The reader +will see how I met her again at London three years later. Le Duc was +still in the doctor's hands, and very weak; but I made him go with me, as +I had a good deal of property, and I could not trust it to anybody else. + +I left Berne feeling naturally very sad. I had been happy there, and to +this day the thought of it is a pleasant one. + +I had to consult Dr. Herrenschwand about Madame d'Urfe, so I stopped at +Morat, where he lived, and which is only four leagues from Berne. The +doctor made me dine with him that I might try the fish of the lake, which +I found delicious. I had intended to go on directly after dinner, but I +was delayed by a curiosity of which I shall inform the reader. + +After I had given the doctor a fee of two Louis for his advice, in +writing, on a case of tapeworm, he made me walk with him by the Avanches +road, and we went as far as the famous mortuary of Morat. + +"This mortuary," said the doctor, "was constructed with part of the bones +of the Burgundians, who perished here at the well-known battle lost by +Charles the Bold." + +The Latin inscription made me laugh. + +"This inscription," said I, "contains an insulting jest; it is almost +burlesque, for the gravity of an inscription should not allow of +laughter." + +The doctor, like a patriotic Swiss, would not allow it, but I think it +was false shame on his part. The inscription ran as follows, and the +impartial reader can judge of its nature: + + "Deo. opt. Max. Caroli inclyti et fortisimi Burgundie duds + exercitus Muratum obsidens, ab Helvetiis cesus, hoc sui + monumentum reliquit anno MCDLXXVI." + +Till then I had had a great idea of Morat. Its fame of seven centuries, +three sieges sustained and repulsed, all had given me a sublime notion of +it; I expected to see something and saw nothing. + +"Then Morat has been razed to the ground?" said I to the doctor. + +"Not at all, it is as it always has been, or nearly so." + +I concluded that a man who wants to be well informed should read first +and then correct his knowledge by travel. To know ill is worse than not +to know at all, and Montaigne says that we ought to know things well. + +But it was the following comic adventure which made me spend the night at +Morat: + +I found at the inn a young maid who spoke a sort of rustic Italian. She +struck me by her great likeness to my fair stocking-seller at Paris. She +was called Raton, a name which my memory has happily preserved. I offered +her six francs for her favours, but she refused the money with a sort of +pride, telling me that I had made a mistake and that she was an honest +girl. + +"It may be so," said I, and I ordered my horses to be put in. When the +honest Raton saw me on the point of leaving, she said, with an air that +was at once gay and timid, that she wanted two louis, and if I liked to +give her them and pass the night with her I should be well content. + +"I will stay, but remember to be kind." + +"I will." + +When everybody had gone to bed, she came into my room with a little +frightened manner, calculated to redouble my ardour, but by great good +luck, feeling I had a necessity, I took the light and ran to the place +where I could satisfy it. While there I amused myself by reading +innumerable follies one finds written in such places, and suddenly my +eyes lighted on these words:-- + +"This tenth day of August, 1760, the wretched Raton gave me the +what-d'-you-call-it: reader, beware." + +I was almost tempted to believe in miracles, for I could not think there +were two Ratons in the same house. I returned gaily to my room and found +my sweetheart in bed without her chemise. I went to the place beside the +bed where she had thrown it down, and as soon as she saw me touching it +she begged me in a fright not to do so, as it was not clean. She was +right, for it bore numerous marks of the disease which infected her. It +may be imagined that my passion cooled, and that I sent her away in a +moment; but I felt at the same time the greatest gratitude to what is +called chance, for I should have never thought of examining a girl whose +face was all lilies and roses, and who could not be more than eighteen. + +Next day I went to Roche to see the celebrated Haller. + + + + +CHAPTER XVIII + +M. Haller--My Stay at Lausanne--Lord Rosebury--The Young +Saconai--Dissertation on Beauty--The Young Theologian + +M. Haller was a man six feet high and broad in a proportion; he was a +well-made man, and a physical as well as a mental colossus. He received +me courteously, and when he had read M. de Muralt's letter, he displayed +the greatest politeness, which shews that a good letter of introduction +is never out of place. This learned man displayed to me all the treasures +of his knowledge, replying with exactitude to all my questions, and above +all with a rare modesty which astonished me greatly, for whilst he +explained the most difficult questions, he had the air of a scholar who +would fain know; but on the other hand, when he asked me a scientific +question, it was with so delicate an art that I could not help giving the +right answer. + +M. de Haller was a great physiologist, a great doctor, and a great +anatomist. He called Morgagni his master, though he had himself made +numerous discoveries relating to the frame of man. While I stayed with +him he shewed me a number of letters from Morgagni and Pontedera, a +professor of botany, a science of which Haller had an extensive +knowledge. Hearing me speak of these learned men whose works I had read +at an early age, he complained that Pontedera's letters were almost +illegible and written in extremely obscure Latin. He shewed me a letter +from a Berlin Academician, whose name I have forgotten, who said that +since the king had read his letter he had no more thoughts of suppressing +the Latin language. Haller had written to Frederick the Great that a +monarch who succeeded in the unhappy enterprise of proscribing the +language of Cicero and Virgil from the republic of letters would raise a +deathless monument to his own ignorance. If men of letters require a +universal language to communicate with one another, Latin is certainly +the best, for Greek and Arabic do not adapt themselves in the same way to +the genius of modern civilization. + +Haller was a good poet of the Pindaric kind; he was also an excellent +statesman, and had rendered great services to his country. His morals +were irreproachable, and I remember his telling me that the only way to +give precepts was to do so by example. As a good citizen he was an +admirable paterfamilias, for what greater proof could he give of his love +of country than by presenting it with worthy subjects in his children, +and such subjects result from a good education. His wife was still young, +and bore on her features the marks of good nature and discretion. He had +a charming daughter of about eighteen; her appearance was modest, and at +table she only opened her mouth to speak in a low tone to a young man who +sat beside her. After dinner, finding myself alone with M. Haller, I +asked him who this young man was. He told me he was his daughter's tutor. + +"A tutor like that and so pretty a pupil might easily become lovers." + +"Yes, please God." + +This Socratic reply made me see how misplaced my remark had been, and I +felt some confusion. Finding a book to my hand I opened it to restore my +composure. + +It was an octavo volume of his works, and I read in it: + +"Utrum memoria post mortem dubito." + +"You do not think, then," said I, "that the memory is an essential part +of the soul?" + +"How is that question to be answered?" M. de Haller replied, cautiously, +as he had his reasons for being considered orthodox. + +During dinner I asked if M. de Voltaire came often to see him. By way of +reply he repeated these lines of the poet:-- + +"Vetabo qui Cereris sacrum vulgarit arcanum sub usdem sit trabibus." + +I spent three days with this celebrated man, but I thought myself obliged +to refrain from asking his opinion on any religious questions, although I +had a great desire to do so, as it would have pleased me to have had his +opinion on that delicate subject; but I believe that in matters of that +kind M. Haller judged only by his heart. I told him, however, that I +should consider a visit to Voltaire as a great event, and he said I was +right. He added, without the slightest bitterness, + +"M. de Voltaire is a man who ought to be known, although, in spite of the +laws of nature, many persons have found him greater at a distance than +close at hand." + +M. de Haller kept a good and abundant though plain table; he only drank +water. At dessert only he allowed himself a small glass of liqueur +drowned in an enormous glass of water. He talked a great deal of +Boerhaave, whose favourite pupil he had been. He said that after +Hypocrates, Boerhaave was the greatest doctor and the greatest chemist +that had ever existed. + +"How is it," said I, "that he did not attain mature age?" + +"Because there is no cure for death. Boerhaave was born a doctor, as +Homer was born a poet; otherwise he would have succumbed at the age of +fourteen to a malignant ulcer which had resisted all the best treatment +of the day. He cured it himself by rubbing it constantly with salt +dissolved in his own urine." + +"I have been told that he possessed the philosopher's stone." + +"Yes, but I don't believe it." + +"Do you think it possible?" + +"I have been working for the last thirty years to convince myself of its +impossibility; I have not yet done so, but I am sure that no one who does +not believe in the possibility of the great work can be a good chemist." + +When I left him he begged me to write and tell him what I thought of the +great Voltaire, and in, this way our French correspondence began. I +possess twenty-two letters from this justly celebrated man; and the last +word written six months before, his too, early death. The longer I live +the more interest I take in my papers. They are the treasure which +attaches me to life and makes death more hateful still. + +I had been reading at Berne Rousseau's "Heloise," and I asked M. Haller's +opinion of it. He told me that he had once read part of it to oblige a +friend, and from this part he could judge of the whole. "It is the worst +of all romances, because it is the most eloquently expressed. You will +see the country of Vaud, but don't expect to see the originals of the +brilliant portraits which Jean Jacques painted. He seems to have thought +that lying was allowable in a romance, but he has abused the privilege. +Petrarch, was a learned man, and told no lies in speaking of his love for +Laura, whom he loved as every man loves the woman with whom he is taken; +and if Laura had not contented her illustrious lover, he would not have +celebrated her." + +Thus Haller spoke to me of Petrarch, mentioning Rousseau with aversion. +He disliked his very eloquence, as he said it owed all its merits to +antithesis and paradox. Haller was a learned man of the first class, but +his knowledge was not employed for the purpose of ostentation, nor in +private life, nor when he was in the company of people who did not care +for science. No one knew better than he how to accommodate himself to his +company he was friendly with everyone, and never gave offence. But what +were his qualifications? It would be much easier to say what he had not +than what he had. He had no pride, self-sufficiency, nor tone of +superiority--in fact, none of those defects which are often the reproach +of the learned and the witty. + +He was a man of austere virtue, but he took care to hide the austerity +under a veil of a real and universal kindness. Undoubtedly he thought +little of the ignorant, who talk about everything right or wrong, instead +of remaining silent, and have at bottom only contempt for the learned; +but he only shewed his contempt by saying nothing. He knew that a +despised ignoramus becomes an enemy, and Haller wished to be loved. He +neither boasted of nor concealed his knowledge, but let it run like a +limpid stream flowing through the meadows. He talked well, but never +absorbed the conversation. He never spoke of his works; when someone +mentioned them he would turn the conversation as soon as he conveniently +could. He was sorry to be obliged to contradict anyone who conversed with +him. + +When I reached Lausanne I found myself enabled to retain my incognito for +a day at any rate. I naturally gave the first place to my affections. I +went straight to my sweetheart without needing to ask my way, so well had +she indicated the streets through which I had to pass. I found her with +her mother, but I was not a little astonished to see Lebel there also. +However, my surprise must have passed unnoticed, for my housekeeper, +rising from her seat with a cry of joy, threw her arms about my neck, and +after having kissed me affectionately presented me to her worthy mother, +who welcomed me in the friendliest manner. I asked Lebel after the +ambassador, and how long he had been at Lausanne. + +He replied, with a polite and respectful air, that his master was quite +well, and that he had come to Lausanne on business, and had only been +there a few hours; and that, wishing to pay his regards to Madame +Dubois's mother, he had been pleasantly surprised to see the daughter +there as well. + +"You know," he added, "what my intentions are. I have to go back +to-morrow, and when you have made up your minds, write to me and I will +come and take her to Soleure, where I will marry her." + +He could not have spoken more plainly or honourably. I said that I would +never oppose the will of my sweetheart, and my Dubois, interrupting me, +said in her turn that she would never leave me until I sent her away. + +Lebel found these replies too vague, and told me with noble freedom that +we must give him a definite reply, since in such cases uncertainty spoils +all. At that moment I felt as if I could never agree to his wishes, and I +told him that in ten days I would let him know of our resolution, +whatever it was. At that he was satisfied, and left us. + +After his departure my sweetheart's mother, whose good sense stood her +instead of wit, talked to us in a manner that answered our inclinations, +for, amorous as we were, we could not bear the idea of parting. I agreed +that my housekeeper should wait up for me till midnight, and that we +could talk over our reply with our heads on the pillow. + +My Dubois had a separate room with a good bed and excellent furniture. +She gave me a very good supper, and we spent a delicious night. In the +morning we felt more in love than ever, and were not at all disposed to +comply with Lebel's wishes. Nevertheless, we had a serious conversation. + +The reader will remember that my mistress had promised to pardon my +infidelities, provided that I confessed them. I had none to confess, but +in the course of conversation I told her about Raton. + +"We ought to think ourselves very fortunate," said she, "for if it had +not been for chance, we should have been in a fine state now." + +"Yes, and I should be in despair." + +"I don't doubt it, and you would be all the more wretched as I should +never complain to you." + +"I only see one way of providing against such a misfortune. When I have +been unfaithful to you I will punish myself by depriving myself of the +pleasure of giving you proofs of my affection till I am certain that I +can do so without danger." + +"Ah! you would punish me for your faults, would you? If you love me as I +love you, believe me you would find a better remedy than that." + +"What is that?" + +"You would never be unfaithful to me." + +"You are right. I am sorry I was not the first to think of this plan, +which I promise to follow for the future." + +"Don't make any promises," said she, with a sigh, "it might prove too +difficult to keep them." + +It is only love which can inspire such conversations, but unfortunately +it gains nothing by them. + +Next morning, just as I was going out to take my letters, the Baron de +Bercei, uncle of my friend Bavois, entered. + +"I know," said he, "that my nephew owes his fortune to you; he is just +going to be made general, and I and all the family will be enchanted to +make your acquaintance. I have come to offer my services, and to beg that +you will dine with me to-day, and on any other day you please when you +have nothing better to do, and I hope you will always consider yourself +of the family. + +"At the same time I beg of you not to tell anybody that my nephew has +become a Catholic, as according to the prejudices of the country it would +be a dishonour which would reflect on the whole family." + +I accepted his invitation, and promised to say nothing about the +circumstance he had mentioned. + +I left my letters of introduction, and I received everywhere a welcome of +the most distinguished kind. Madame de Gentil-Langalerie appeared the +most amiable of all the ladies I called on, but I had not time to pay my +court to one more than another. Every day politeness called me to some +dinner, supper, ball, or assembly. I was bored beyond measure, and I felt +inclined to say how troublesome it is to have such a welcome. I spent a +fortnight in the little town, where everyone prides himself on his +liberty, and in all my life I have never experienced such a slavery, for +I had not a moment to myself. I was only able to pass one night with my +sweetheart, and I longed to set off with her for Geneva. Everybody would +give me letters of introduction for M. de Voltaire, and by their +eagerness one would have thought the great man beloved, whereas all +detested him on account of his sarcastic humour. + +"What, ladies!" said I, "is not M. de Voltaire good-natured, polite, and +affable to you who have been kind enough to act in his plays with him?" + +"Not in the least. When he hears us rehearse he grumbles all the time. We +never say a thing to please him: here it is a bad pronunciation, there a +tone not sufficiently passionate, sometimes one speaks too softly, +sometimes too loudly; and it's worse when we are acting. What a hubbub +there is if one add a syllable, or if some carelessness spoil one of his +verses. He frightens us. So and so laughed badly; so and so in Alzire had +only pretended to weep." + +"Does he want you to weep really?" + +"Certainly. He will have real tears. He says that if an actor wants to +draw tears he must shed them himself." + +"I think he is right there; but he should not be so severe with amateurs, +above all with charming actresses like you. Such perfection is only to be +looked for from professionals, but all authors are the same. They never +think that the actor has pronounced the words with the force which the +sense, as they see it, requires." + +"I told him, one day, that it was not my fault if his lines had not the +proper force." + +"I am sure he laughed." + +"Laughed? No, sneered, for he is a rude and impertinent man." + +"But I suppose you overlook all these failings?" + +"Not at all; we have sent him about his business." + +"Sent him about his business?" + +"Yes. He left the house he had rented here, at short notice, and retired +to where you will find him now. He never comes to see us now, even if we +ask him." + +"Oh, you do ask him, though you sent him about his business?" + +"We cannot deprive ourselves of the pleasure of admiring his talents, and +if we have teased him, that was only from revenge, and to teach him +something of the manners of good society." + +"You have given a lesson to a great master." + +"Yes; but when you see him mention Lausanne, and see what he will say of +us. But he will say it laughingly, that's his way." + +During my stay I often saw Lord Rosebury, who had vainly courted my +charming Dubois. I have never known a young man more disposed to silence. +I have been told that he had wit, that he was well educated, and even in +high spirits at times, but he could not get over his shyness, which gave +him an almost indefinable air of stupidity. At balls, assemblies--in +fact, everywhere, his manners consisted of innumerable bows. When one +spoke to him, he replied in good French but with the fewest possible +words, and his shy manner shewed that every question was a trouble to +him. One day when I was dining with him, I asked him some question about +his country, which required five or six small phrases by way of answer. +He gave me an excellent reply, but blushed all the time like a young girl +when she comes out. The celebrated Fox who was then twenty, and was at +the same dinner, succeeded in making him laugh, but it was by saying +something in English, which I did not understand in the least. Eight +months after I saw him again at Turin, he was then amorous of a banker's +wife, who was able to untie his tongue. + +At Lausanne I saw a young girl of eleven or twelve by whose beauty I was +exceedingly struck. She was the daughter of Madame de Saconai, whom I had +known at Berne. I do not know her after history, but the impression she +made on me has never been effaced. Nothing in nature has ever exercised +such a powerful influence over me as a pretty face, even if it be a +child's. + +The Beautiful, as I have been told, is endowed with this power of +attraction; and I would fain believe it, since that which attracts me is +necessarily beautiful in my eyes, but is it so in reality? I doubt it, +as that which has influenced me has not influenced others. The universal +or perfect beauty does not exist, or it does not possess this power. All +who have discussed the subject have hesitated to pronounce upon it, which +they would not have done if they had kept to the idea of form. According +to my ideas, beauty is only form, for that which is not beautiful is that +which has no form, and the deformed is the opposite of the 'pulchrum' and +'formosum'. + +We are right to seek for the definitions of things, but when we have them +to hand in the words; why should we go farther? If the word 'forma' is +Latin, we should seek for the Latin meaning and not the French, which, +however, often uses 'deforme' or 'difforme' instead of 'laid', ugly, +without people's noticing that its opposite should be a word which +implies the existence of form; and this can only be beauty. We should +note that 'informe' in French as well as in Latin means shapeless, a body +without any definite appearance. + +We will conclude, then, that it is the beauty of woman which has always +exercised an irresistible sway over me, and more especially that beauty +which resides in the face. It is there the power lies, and so true is +that, that the sphinxes of Rome and Versailles almost make me fall in +love with them though, the face excepted, they are deformed in every +sense of the word. In looking at the fine proportions of their faces one +forgets their deformed bodies. What, then, is beauty? We know not; and +when we attempt to define it or to enumerate its qualities we become like +Socrates, we hesitate. The only thing that our minds can seize is the +effect produced by it, and that which charms, ravishes, and makes me in +love, I call beauty. It is something that can be seen with the eyes, and +for my eyes I speak. If they had a voice they would speak better than I, +but probably in the same sense. + +No painter has surpassed Raphael in the beauty of the figures which his +divine pencil produced; but if this great painter had been asked what +beauty was, he would probably have replied that he could not say, that he +knew it by heart, and that he thought he had reproduced it whenever he +had seen it, but that he did not know in what it consisted. + +"That face pleases me," he would say, "it is therefore beautiful!" + +He ought to have thanked God for having given him such an exquisite eye +for the beautiful; but 'omne pulchrum difficile'. + +The painters of high renown, all those whose works proclaim genius, have +excelled in the delineation of the beautiful; but how small is their +number compared to the vast craved who have strained every nerve to +depict beauty and have only left us mediocrity! + +If a painter could be dispensed from making his works beautiful, every +man might be an artist; for nothing is easier than to fashion ugliness, +and brush and canvas would be as easy to handle as mortar and trowel. + +Although portrait-painting is the most important branch of the art, it is +to be noted that those who have succeeded in this line are very few. +There are three kinds of portraits: ugly likenesses, perfect likenesses, +and those which to a perfect likeness add an almost imperceptible +character of beauty. The first class is worthy only of contempt and their +authors of stoning, for to want of taste and talent they add +impertinence, and yet never seem to see their failings. The second class +cannot be denied to possess real merit; but the palm belongs to the +third, which, unfortunately, are seldom found, and whose authors deserve +the large fortunes they amass. Such was the famous Notier, whom I knew in +Paris in the year 1750. This great artist was then eighty, and in spite +of his great age his talents seemed in all their freshness. He painted a +plain woman; it was a speaking likeness, and in spite of that those who +only saw the portrait pronounced her to be a handsome woman. +Nevertheless, the most minute examination would not have revealed any +faithlessness to the original, but some imperceptible touches gave a real +but indefinite air of beauty to the whole. Whence does that magic art +take its source? One day, when he had been painting the plain-looking +"Mesdames de France," who on the canvas looked like two Aspasias, I asked +him the above question. He answered:-- + +"It is a magic which the god of taste distils from my brains through my +brushes. It is the divinity of Beauty whom all the world adores, and +which no one can define, since no one knows of what it consists. That +canvas shews you what a delicate shade there is between beauty and +ugliness; and nevertheless this shade seems an enormous difference to +those unacquainted with art." + +The Greek painters made Venus, the goddess of beauty, squint-eyed, and +this odd idea has been praised by some; but these painters were certainly +in the wrong. + +Two squinting eyes might be beautiful, but certainly not so beautiful as +if they did not squint, for whatever beauty they had could not proceed +from their deformity. + +After this long digression, with which the reader may not be very well +pleased, it is time for me to return to my sweetheart. The tenth day of +my visit to Lausanne, I went to sup and sleep with my mistress, and that +night was the happiest I remember. In the morning, while we were taking +coffee with her mother, I observed that we seemed in no hurry to part. At +this, the mother, a woman of few words, took up the discourse in a polite +and dignified manner, and told me it was my duty to undeceive Lebel +before I left; and at the same time she gave me a letter she had had from +him the evening before. The worthy man begged her to remind me that if I +could not make up my mind to separate from her daughter before I left +Lausanne, it would be much more difficult for me to do so when I was +farther off; above all, if, as would probably be the case, she gave me a +living pledge of her love. He said that he had no thoughts of drawing +back from his word, but he should wish to be able to say that he had +taken his wife from her mother's hands. + +When I had read the letter aloud, the worthy mother wept, and left us +alone. A moment's silence ensued, and with a sigh that shewed what it +cost her, my dear Dubois had the courage to tell me that I must instantly +write to Lebel to give up all pretensions to her, or to come and take her +at once. + +"If I write and tell him to think no more of you, I must marry you +myself." + +"No." + +With this no she arose and left me. I thought it over for a quarter of an +hour, I weighed the pros and cons and still my love shrank from the +sacrifice. At last, on consideration that my housekeeper would never have +such a chance again, that I was not sure that I could always make her +happy, I resolved to be generous, and determined to write to Lebel that +Madame Dubois had decided of her own free will to become his wife, that I +had no right to oppose her resolution, and that I would go so far as to +congratulate him on a happiness I envied him. I begged him to leave +Soleure at once and come and receive her in my presence from the hands of +her worthy mother. + +I signed the letter and took it to my housekeeper, who was in her +mother's room. "Take this letter, dearest, and read it, and if you +approve its contents put your signature beside mine." She read it several +times, while her good mother wept, and then, with an affectionate and +sorrowful air, she took the pen and signed. I begged her mother to find +somebody to take the letter to Soleure immediately, before my resolution +was weakened by repentance. + +The messenger came, and as soon as he had gone, "Farewell," said I, +embracing her, with my eyes wet with tears, "farewell, we shall see each +other again as soon as Lebel comes." + +I went to my inn, a prey to the deepest grief. This sacrifice had given a +new impetus to my love for this charming woman, and I felt a sort of +spasm, which made me afraid I should get ill. I shut myself up in my +room, and I ordered the servants to say I was unwell and could see no +one. + +In the evening of the fourth day after, Lebel was announced. He embraced +me, saying his happiness would be due to me. He then left me, telling me +he would expect me at the house of his future bride. + +"Excuse me to-day, my dear fellow," said I, "but I will dine with you +there to-morrow." + +When he had left me, I told Le Duc to make all preparations for our +leaving the next day after dinner. + +I went out early on the following day to take leave of everybody, and at +noon Lebel came to take me to that sad repast, at which, however, I was +not so sad as I had feared. + +As I was leaving I begged the future Madame Lebel to return me the ring I +had given her, and as we had agreed, I presented her with a roll of a +hundred Louis, which she took with a melancholy air. + +"I should never have sold it," she said, "for I have no need of money." + +"In that case I will give it back to you, but promise me never to part +with it, and keep the hundred Louis as some small reward of the services +you have rendered me." + +She shook my hand affectionately, put on my finger her wedding ring, and +left me to hide her grief. I wiped my tears away, and said to Lebel, + +"You are about to possess yourself of a treasure which I cannot commend +too highly. You are a man of honour; you will appreciate her excellent +qualities, and you will know how to make her happy. She will love you +only, take care of your household, and keep no secrets from you. She is +full of wit and spirits, and will easily disperse the slightest shadow of +ill humour which may fall on you." + +I went in with him to the mother's room to take leave of her, and Madame +Dubois begged me to delay my departure and sup once more with her. I told +her that my horses were put in and the carriage waiting at my door, and +that such a delay would set tongues talking; but that if she liked, she, +her future husband and her mother, could come and see me at an inn two +leagues off on the Geneva road, where we could stay as long as we liked. +Lebel approved of the plan, and my proposition was accepted. + +When I got back to my inn I found my carriage ready, and I got in and +drove to the meeting-place, and ordered a good supper for four, and an +hour later my guests arrived. + +The gay and even happy air of the newly betrothed surprised me, but what +astonished me more was the easy way with which she threw herself into my +arms as soon as she saw me. It put me quite out of countenance, but she +had more wit than I. However, I mustered up sufficient strength to follow +her cue, but I could not help thinking that if she had really loved me +she would not have found it possible to pass thus from love to mere +friendship. However, I imitated her, and made no objections to those +marks of affection allowed to friendship, which are supposed to have no +tincture of love in them. + +At supper I thought I saw that Lebel was more delighted at having such a +wife than at the prospect of enjoying her and satisfying a strong +passion. That calmed me; I could not be jealous of a man like that. I +perceived, too, that my sweetheart's high spirits were more feigned than +real; she wished to make me share them so as to render our separation +less bitter, and to tranquillise her future husband as to the nature of +our feelings for one another. And when reason and time had quieted the +tempest in my heart, I could not help thinking it very natural that she +should be pleased at the prospect of being independent, and of enjoying a +fortune. + +We made an excellent supper, which we washed down so well that at last +the gaiety which had been simulated ended by being real. I looked at the +charming Dubois with pleasure; I regarded her as a treasure which had +belonged to me, and which after making me happy was with my full consent +about to ensure the happiness of another. It seemed to me that I had been +magnanimous enough to give her the reward she deserved, like a good +Mussulman who gives a favourite slave his freedom in return for his +fidelity. Her sallies made me laugh and recalled the happy moments I had +passed with her, but the idea of her happiness prevented my regretting +having yielded my rights to another. + +As Lebel was obliged to return to Lausanne in order to get back to +Soleure in two days, we had to part. I embraced him and asked him to +continue his friendship towards me, and he promised with great effusion +to be my friend till death. As we were going down the stair, my charming +friend said, with great candour, + +"I am not really gay, but I oblige myself to appear so. I shall not be +happy till the scar on my heart has healed. Lebel can only claim my +esteem, but I shall be his alone though my love be all for you. When we +see each other again, as from what you say I hope we shall, we shall be +able to meet as true friends, and perhaps we shall congratulate each +other on the wise part we have taken. As for you, though I do not think +you will forget me, I am sure that before long some more or less worthy +object will replace me and banish your sorrow. I hope it will be so. Be +happy. I may be with child; and if it prove to be so, you shall have no +cause to complain of my care of your child, which you shall take away +when you please. We made an agreement on this point yesterday. We +arranged that the marriage should not be consummated for two months; thus +we shall be certain whether the child belongs to you or no, and we will +let people think that it is the legitimate offspring of our marriage. +Lebel conceived this plan that he might have his mind at rest on the +supposed force of blood, in which he declares he believes no more than I +do. He has promised to love the child as if he were its father. If you +write to me, I will keep you acquainted with everything; and if I have +the happiness to give you a child, it will be much dearer to me than your +ring." + +We wept, and Lebel laughed to see us. + +I could only reply by pressing her to my breast, and then I gave her over +to her future husband, who told me as he got into the carriage that our +long talk had pleased him very much. + +I went to bed sadly enough. Next morning when I awoke, a pastor of the +Church of Geneva came to ask me to give him a place in my carriage. I +agreed, and was not sorry I had done so. + +This priest was an eloquent man, although a theologian, who answered the +most difficult religious questions I could put to him. There was no +mystery with him, everything was reason. I have never found a more +compliant Christianity than that of this worthy man, whose morals, as I +heard afterwards at Geneva, were perfectly pure. But I found out that +this kind of Christianity was not peculiar to him, all his +fellow-Calvinists thought in the same way. + +Wishing to convince him that he was a Calvinist in name only, since he +did not believe that Jesus Christ was of the same substance as the +Father, he replied that Calvin was only infallible where he spoke 'ex +cathedra', but I struck him dumb by quoting the words of the Gospel. He +blushed when I reproached him with Calvin's belief that the Pope was the +Antichrist of the Apocalypse. + +"It will be impossible to destroy this prejudice at Geneva," said he, +"till the Government orders the effacement of an inscription on the +church door which everybody reads, and which speaks of the head of the +Roman Church in this manner." + +"The people," he added, "are wholly ignorant; but I have a niece of +twenty, who does not belong to the people in this way. I shall have the +honour of making you known to her; she is a theologian, and pretty as +well." + +"I shall be delighted to see her, but God preserve me from arguing with +her!" + +"She will make you argue, and I can assure you that it will be a pleasure +for you!" + +"We shall see; but will you give me your address?" + +"No sir, but I shall have the honour of conducting you to your inn and +acting as your guide." + +I got down at Balances, and was well lodged. It was the 20th of August, +1760. On going to the window I noticed a pane of glass on which I read +these words, written with the point of a diamond: "You will forget +Henriette." In a moment my thoughts flew back to the time in which +Henriette had written these words, thirteen years ago, and my hair stood +on end. We had been lodged in this room when she separated from me to +return to France. I was overwhelmed, and fell on a chair where I +abandoned myself to deep thought. Noble Henriette, dear Henriette, whom I +had loved so well; where was she now? I had never heard of her; I had +never asked anyone about her. Comparing my present and past estates, I +was obliged to confess that I was less worthy of possessing her now than +then. I could still love, but I was no longer so delicate in my thoughts; +I had not those feelings which justify the faults committed by the +senses, nor that probity which serves as a contrast to the follies and +frailties of man; but, what was worst of all, I was not so strong. +Nevertheless, it seemed that the remembrance of Henriette restored me to +my pristine vigour. I had no longer my housekeeper; I experienced a great +void; and I felt so enthusiastic that if I had known where Henriette was +I should have gone to seek her out, despite her prohibition. + +Next day, at an early hour, I went to the banker Tronchin, who had all my +money. After seeing my account, he gave me a letter of credit on +Marseilles, Genoa, Florence and Rome, and I only took twelve thousand +francs in cash. I had only fifty thousand crowns, three hundred francs, +but that would take me a good way. As soon as I had delivered my letters, +I returned to Balances, impatient to see M. de Voltaire. + +I found my fellow-traveller in my room. He asked me to dinner, telling me +that I should have M. Vilars-Chandieu, who would take me after dinner to +M. de Voltaire, who had been expecting me for several days. I followed +the worthy man, and found at his house excellent company, and the young +theologian whom the uncle did not address till dessert. + +I will endeavour to report as faithfully as possible the young woman's +conversation. + +"What have you been doing this morning, my dear niece?" + +"I have been reading St. Augustine, whom I thought absurd, and I think I +can refute him very shortly." + +"On what point?" + +"Concerning the mother of the Saviour." + +"What does St. Augustine say?" + +"You have no doubt remarked the passage, uncle. He says that the Virgin +Mary conceived Jesus Christ through the ears." + +"You do not believe that?" + +"Certainly not, and for three good reasons. In the first place because +God, being immaterial, had no need of a hole to go in or come out by; in +the second place, because the ear has no connection with the womb; and in +the third place, because Mary, if she had conceived by the ear, would +have given birth by the same channel. This would do well enough for the +Catholics," said she, giving me a glance, "as then they would be +reasonable in calling her a virgin before her conception, during her +pregnancy, and after she had given birth to the child." + +I was extremely astonished, and my astonishment was shared by the other +guests. Divine theology rises above all fleshly considerations, and after +what we had heard we had either to allow her this privilege, or to +consider the young theologian as a woman without shame. The learned niece +did not seem to care what we thought, as she asked for my opinion on the +matter. + +"If I were a theologian and allowed myself an exact examination into the +miracles, it is possible I should be of your opinion; but as this is by +no means the case, I must limit myself to condemning St. Augustine for +having analysed the mystery of the Annunciation. I may say, however, that +if the Virgin had been deaf, St. Augustine would have been guilty of a +manifest absurdity, since the Incarnation would have been an +impossibility, as in that case the nerves of the ear would have had no +sort of communication with the womb, and the process would have been +inconceivable; but the Incarnation is a miracle." + +She replied with great politeness that I had shown myself a greater +theologian than she, and her uncle thanked me for having given her a +lesson. He made her discuss various subjects, but she did not shine. Her +only subject was the New Testament. I shall have occasion to speak of +this young woman when I get back to Geneva. + +After dinner we went to see Voltaire, who was just leaving the table as +we came in. He was in the middle of a court of gentlemen and ladies, +which made my introduction a solemn one; but with this great man +solemnity could not fail to be in my favour. + + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of The Eternal Quest: Switzerland +by Jacques Casanova de Seingalt + +*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE ETERNAL QUEST: SWITZERLAND *** + +***** This file should be named 2964.txt or 2964.zip ***** +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: + https://www.gutenberg.org/2/9/6/2964/ + +Produced by David Widger + +Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions +will be renamed. + +Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no +one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation +(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without +permission and without paying copyright royalties. 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FOR PUBLIC DOMAIN ETEXTS*Ver.04.07.00*END* + + + +This etext was prepared by David Widger, <widger@cecomet.net> + + + +MEMOIRS OF JACQUES CASANOVA de SEINGALT 1725-1798 +THE ETERNAL QUEST, Volume 3d--SWITZERLAND + + +THE RARE UNABRIDGED LONDON EDITION OF 1894 TRANSLATED BY ARTHUR +MACHEN TO WHICH HAS BEEN ADDED THE CHAPTERS DISCOVERED +BY ARTHUR SYMONS. + + + + +THE ETERNAL QUEST + + + + +SWITZERLAND + + +CHAPTER XIII + +I Resolve to Become a Monk--I go to Confession--Delay of a Fortnight +--Giustiniani, the Apostle Capuchin--I Alter my Mind; My Reasons--My +Pranks at the Inn--I Dine With the Abbot + + +The cool way in which the abbot told these cock-and-bull stories gave +me an inclination to laughter, which the holiness of the place and +the laws of politeness had much difficulty in restraining. All the +same I listened with such an attentive air that his reverence was +delighted with me and asked where I was staying. + +"Nowhere," said I; "I came from Zurich on foot, and my first visit +was to your church." + +I do not know whether I pronounced these words with an air of +compunction, but the abbot joined his hands and lifted them to +heaven, as if to thank God for touching my heart and bringing me +there to lay down the burden of my sins. I have no doubt that these +were his thoughts, as I have always had the look of a great sinner. + +The abbot said it was near noon and that he hoped I would do him the +honour of dining with him, and I accepted with pleasure, for I had +had nothing to eat and I knew that there is usually good cheer in +such places. I did not know where I was and I did not care to ask, +being willing to leave him under the impression that I was a pilgrim +come to expiate my sins. + +On our way from the church the abbot told me that his monks were +fasting, but that we should eat meat in virtue of a dispensation he +had received from Benedict XIV., which allowed him to eat meat all +the year round with his guests. I replied that I would join him all +the more willingly as the Holy Father had given me a similar +dispensation. This seemed to excite his curiosity about myself, and +when we got to his room, which did not look the cell of a penitent, +he hastened to shew me the brief, which he had framed and glazed and +hung up opposite the table so that the curious and scrupulous might +have it in full view. + +As the table was only laid for two, a servant in full livery came in +and brought another cover; and the humble abbot then told me that he +usually had his chancellor with him at dinner, "for," said he, "I +have a chancery, since as abbot of Our Lady of Einsiedel I am a +prince of the Holy Roman Empire." + +This was a relief to me, as I now knew where I was, and I no longer +ran the risk of shewing my ignorance in the course of conversation. + +This monastery (of which I had heard before) was the Loretto of the +Mountains, and was famous for the number of pilgrims who resorted to +it. + +In the course of dinner the prince--abbot asked me where I came from, +if I were married, if I intended to make a tour of Switzerland, +adding that he should be glad to give me letters of introduction. +I replied that I was a Venetian, a bachelor, and that I should be +glad to accept the letters of introduction he had kindly offered me, +after I had had a private conference with him, in which I desired to +take his advice on my conscience. + +Thus, without premeditation, and scarcely knowing what I was saying, +I engaged to confess to the abbot. + +This was my way. Whenever I obeyed a spontaneous impulse, whenever I +did anything of a sudden, I thought I was following the laws of my +destiny, and yielding to a supreme will. When I had thus plainly +intimated to him that he was to be my confessor, he felt obliged to +speak with religious fervour, and his discourses seemed tolerable +enough during a delicate and appetising repast, for we had snipe and +woodcock; which made me exclaim,-- + +"What! game like that at this time of year?" + +"It's a secret," said he, with a pleased smile, "which I shall be +glad to communicate to you." + +The abbot was a man of taste, for though he affected sobriety he had +the choicest wines and the most delicious dishes on the table. A +splendid salmon-trout was brought, which made him smile with +pleasure, and seasoning the good fare with a jest, he said in Latin +that we must taste it as it was fish, and that it was right to fast a +little. + +While he was talking the abbot kept a keen eye on me, and as my fine +dress made him feel certain that I had nothing to ask of him he spoke +at ease. + +When dinner was over the chancellor bowed respectfully and went out. +Soon after the abbot took me over the monastery, including the +library, which contained a portrait of the Elector of Cologne in +semi-ecclesiastical costume. I told him that the portrait was a good +though ugly likeness, and drew out of my pocket the gold snuffbox the +prince had given me, telling him that it was a speaking likeness. He +looked at it with interest, and thought his highness had done well to +be taken in the dress of a grand-master. But I perceived that the +elegance of the snuff-box did no harm to the opinion the abbot had +conceived of me. As for the library, if I had been alone it would +have made me weep. It contained nothing under the size of folio, the +newest books were a hundred years old, and the subject-matter of all +these huge books was solely theology and controversy. There were +Bibles, commentators, the Fathers, works on canon law in German, +volumes of annals, and Hoffman's dictionary. + +"I suppose your monks have private libraries of their own," I said, +"which contain accounts of travels, with historical and scientific +works." + +"Not at all," he replied; "my monks are honest folk, who are content +to do their duty, and to live in peace and sweet ignorance." + +I do not know what happened to me at that moment, but a strange whim +came into my head--I would be a monk, too. I said nothing about it +at the moment, but I begged the abbot to take me to his private +chamber. + +"I wish to make a general confession of all my sins," said I, "that I +may obtain the benefit of absolution, and receive the Holy Eucharist +on the morrow." + +He made no answer, but led the way to a pretty little room, and +without requiring me to kneel down said he was ready to hear me. + +I sat down before him and for three consecutive hours I narrated +scandalous histories unnumerable, which, however, I told simply and +not spicily, since I felt ascetically disposed and obliged myself to +speak with a contrition I did not feel, for when I recounted my +follies I was very far from finding the remembrance of them +disagreeable. + +In spite of that, the serene or reverend abbot believed, at all +events, in my attrition, for he told me that since by the appointed +means I had once more placed myself in a state of grace, contrition +would be perfected in me. + +According to the good abbot, and still more according to me, without +grace contrition is impossible. + +After he had pronounced the sacramental words which take away the +sins of men, he advised me to retire to the chamber he had appointed +for me, to pass the rest of the day in prayer, and to go to bed at an +early hour, but he added that I could have supper if I was accustomed +to that meal. He told me that I might communicate at the first mass +next morning, and with that we parted. + +I obeyed with a docility which has puzzled me ever since, but at the +time I thought nothing of it. I was left alone in a room which I did +not even examine, and there I pondered over the idea which had come +into my head before making my confession; and I quite made up my mind +that chance, or rather my good genius, had led me to that spot, where +happiness awaited me, and where I might shelter all my days from the +tempests of the world. + +"Whether I stay here," said I, "depends on myself alone, as I am sure +the abbot will not refuse me the cowl if I give him ten thousand +crowns for my support." + +All that was needed to secure my happiness seemed a library of my own +choosing, and I did not doubt but that the abbot would let me have +what books I pleased if I promised to leave them to the monastery +after my death. + +As to the society of the monks, the discord, envy, and all the +bickerings inseparable from such a mode of life, I thought I had +nothing to pass in that way, since I had no ambitions which could +rouse the jealousy of the other monks. Nevertheless, despite my +fascination, I foresaw the possibility of repentance, and I shuddered +at the thought, but I had a cure for that also. + +"When I ask for the habit," I said, "I will also ask that my +novitiate be extended for ten years, and if repentance do not come in +ten years it will not come at all. I shall declare that I do not +wish for any cure or any ecclesiastical dignity. All I want is peace +and leave to follow my own tastes, without scandalising anyone." +I thought: I could easily remove any objections which might be made +to the long term of my novitiate, by agreeing, in case I changed my +mind, to forfeit the ten thousand crowns which I would pay in +advance. + +I put down this fine idea in writing before I went to bed; and in the +morning, finding myself unshaken in my resolve, after I had +communicated I gave my plan to the abbot, who was taking chocolate in +his room. + +He immediately read my plan, and without saying anything put it on +the table, and after breakfast he walked up and down the room and +read it again, and finally told me that he would give me an answer +after dinner. + +I waited till night with the impatience of a child who has been +promised toys on its birthday--so completely and suddenly can an +infatuation change one's nature. We had as good a dinner as on the +day before, and when we had risen from the table the good abbot said, + +"My carriage is at the door to take you to Zurich. Go, and let me +have a fortnight to think it over. I will bring my answer in person. +In the meanwhile here are two sealed letters, which please deliver +yourself." + +I replied that I would obey his instructions and that I would wait +for him at the "Sword," in the hope that be would deign to grant my +wishes. I took his hand, which he allowed me to kiss, and I then set +out for Zurich. + +As soon as my Spaniard saw me the rascal began to laugh. I guessed +what he was thinking, and asked him what he was laughing at. + +"I am amazed to see that no sooner do you arrive in Switzerland than +you contrive to find some amusement which keeps you away for two +whole days." + +"Ah, I see; go and tell the landlord that I shall want the use of a +good carriage for the next fortnight, and also a guide on whom I can +rely." + +My landlord, whose name was Ote, had been a captain, and was thought +a great deal of at Zurich. He told me that all the carriages in the +neighbourhood were uncovered. I said they would do, as there was +nothing better to be had, and he informed me I could trust the +servant he would provide me with. + +Next morning I took the abbot's letters. One was for M. Orelli and +the other for a M. Pestalozzi, neither of whom I found at home; but +in the afternoon they both called on me, asked me to dinner, and made +me promise to come with them the same evening to a concert. This is +the only species of entertainment allowed at Zurich, and only members +of the musical society can be present, with the exception of +strangers, who have to be introduced by a member, and are then +admitted on the payment of a crown. The two gentlemen both spoke in +very high terms of the Abbot of Einsiedel. + +I thought the concert a bad one, and got bored at it. The men sat on +the right hand and the women on the left. I was vexed with this +arrangement, for in spite of my recent conversation I saw three or +four ladies who pleased me, and whose eyes wandered a good deal in my +direction. I should have liked to make love to them, to make the +best of my time before I became a monk. + +When the concert was over, men and women went out together, and the +two citizens presented me to their wives and daughters, who looked +pleasant, and were amongst those I had noticed. + +Courtesy is necessarily cut short in the street, and, after I had +thanked the two gentlemen, I went home to the "Sword." + +Next day I dined with M. Orelli, and I had an opportunity for doing +justice to his daughter's amiability without being able to let her +perceive how she had impressed me. The day after, I played the same +part with M. Pestalozzi, although his charming daughter was pretty +enough to excite my gallantry. But to my own great astonishment I +was a mirror of discretion, and in four days that was my character +all over the town. I was quite astonished to find myself accosted in +quite a respectful manner, to which I was not accustomed; but in the +pious state of mind I was in, this confirmed me in the belief that my +idea of taking the cowl had been a Divine inspiration. Nevertheless, +I felt listless and weary, but I looked upon that as the inevitable +consequence of so complete a change of life, and thought it would +disappear when I grew more accustomed to goodness. + +In order to put myself, as soon as possible, on an equality with my +future brethren, I passed three hours every morning in learning +German. My master was an extraordinary man, a native of Genoa, and +an apostate Capuchin. His name was Giustiniani. The poor man, to +whom I gave six francs every morning, looked upon me as an angel from +heaven, although I, with the enthusiasm of a devotee, took him for a +devil of hell, for he lost no opportunity of throwing a stone at the +religious orders. Those orders which had the highest reputation, +were, according to him, the worst of all, since they led more people +astray. He styled monks in general as a vile rabble, the curse of +the human race. + +"But," said I to him one day, "you will confess that Our Lady of +Einsiedel . . ." + +"What!" replied the Genoese, without letting me finish my remark, "do +you think I should make an exception in favour of a set of forty +ignorant, lazy, vicious, idle, hypocritical scoundrels who live bad +lives under the cloak of humility, and eat up the houses of the poor +simpletons who provide for them, when they ought to be earning their +own bread?" + +"But how about his reverend highness the abbot?" + +"A stuck-up peasant who plays the part of a prince, and is fool +enough to think himself one." + +"But he is a prince." + +"As much a prince as I am. I look upon him as a mere buffoon." + +"What has he done to you?" + +"Nothing; but he is a monk." + +"He is a friend of mine." + +"I cannot retract what I have said, but I beg your pardon." + +This Giustiniani had a great influence upon me, although I did not +know it, for I thought my vocation was sure. But my idea of becoming +a monk at Einsiedel came to an end as follows: + +The day before the abbot was coming to see me, at about six o'clock +in the evening, I was sitting at my window, which looked out on the +bridge, and gazing at the passers-by, when all at once a carriage and +four came up at a good pace and stopped at the inn. There was no +footman on it, and consequently the waiter came out and opened the +door, and I saw four well-dressed women leave the carriage. In the +first three I saw nothing noticeable, but the fourth, who was dressed +in a riding-habit, struck me at once with her elegance and beauty. +She was a brunette with fine and well-set eyes, arched eyebrows, and +a complexion in which the hues of the lily and the rose were mingled. +Her bonnet was of blue satin with a silver fillet, which gave her an +air I could not resist. I stretched out from the window as far as I +could, and she lifted her eyes and looked at me as if I had bade her +do so. My position obliged me to look at her for half a minute; too +much for a modest woman, and more than was required to set me all +ablaze. + +I ran and took up my position at the window of my ante-chamber, which +commanded a view of the staircase, and before long I saw her running +by to rejoin her three companions. When she got opposite to my +window she chanced to turn in that direction, and on seeing me cried +out as if she had seen a ghost; but she soon recollected herself and +ran away, laughing like a madcap, and rejoined the other ladies who +were already in their room. + +Reader, put yourself in my place, and tell me how I could have +avoided this meeting. And you who would bury yourselves in monastic +shades, persevere, if you can, after you have seen what I saw at +Zurich on April 23rd. + +I was in such a state of excitement that I had to lie down on my bed. +After resting a few minutes, I got up and almost unconsciously went +towards the passage window and saw the waiter coming out of the +ladies' room. + +"Waiter," said I, "I will take supper in the dining-room with +everybody else." + +"If you want to see those ladies, that won't do, as they have ordered +their supper to be brought up to them. They want to go to bed in +good time as they are to leave at day-break." + +"Where are they going?" + +"To Our Lady of Einsiedel to pay their vows." + +"Where do they come from?" + +"From Soleure." + +"What are their names?" + +"I don't know." + +I went to lie down again, and thought how I could approach the fair +one of my thoughts. Should I go to Einsiedel, too? But what could I +do when I got there? These ladies are going to make their +confessions; I could not get into the confessional. What kind of a +figure should I cut among the monks? And if I were to meet the +abbot on the way, how could I help returning with him? If I had had +a trusty friend I would have arranged an ambuscade and carried off my +charmer. It would have been an easy task, as she had nobody to +defend her. What if I were to pluck up my heart and beg them to let +me sup in their company? I was afraid of the three devotees; I +should meet with a refusal. I judged that my charmer's devotion was +more a matter of form than any thing else, as her physiognomy +declared her to be a lover of pleasure, and I had long been +accustomed to read womens' characters by the play of their features. + +I did not know which way to turn, when a happy idea came into my +head. I went to the passage window and stayed there till the waiter +went by. I had him into the room, and began my discourse by sliding +a piece of gold into his hand. I then asked him to lend me his green +apron, as I wished to wait upon the ladies at supper. + +"What are you laughing at?" + +"At your taking such a fancy, sir, though I think I know why." + +"You are a sharp fellow." + +"Yes, sir, as sharp as most of them; I will get you a new apron. The +pretty one asked me who you were." + +"What did you tell her?" + +"I said you were an Italian; that's all." + +"If you will hold your tongue I will double that piece of gold." + +"I have asked your Spaniard to help me, sir, as I am single-handed, +and supper has to be served at the same time both upstairs and +downstairs." + +"Very good; but the rascal mustn't come into the room or he would be +sure to laugh. Let him go to the kitchen, bring up the dishes, and +leave them outside the door." + +The waiter went out, and returned soon after with the apron and Le +Duc, to whom I explained in all seriousness what he had to do. He +laughed like a madman, but assured me he would follow my directions. +I procured a carving-knife, tied my hair in a queue, took off my +coat, and put on the apron over my scarlet waistcoat ornamented with +gold lace. I then looked at myself in the glass, and thought my +appearance mean enough for the modest part I was about to play. I +was delighted at the prospect, and thought to myself that as the +ladies came from Soleure they would speak French. + +Le Duc came to tell me that the waiter was going upstairs. I went +into the ladies' room and said, "Supper is about to be served, +ladies." + +"Make haste about it, then," said the ugliest of them, "as we have +got to rise before day-break." + +I placed the chairs round the table and glanced at my fair one, who +looked petrified. The waiter came in, and I helped him to put the +dishes on the table, and he then said to me, "Do you stay here, as I +have to go downstairs." + +I took a plate and stood behind a chair facing the lady, and without +appearing to look at her I saw her perfectly, or rather I saw nothing +else. She was astonished the others did not give me a glance, and +they could not have pleased me better. After the soup I hurried to +change her plate, and then did the same office for the rest: they +helped themselves to the boiled beef. + +While they were eating, I took a boiled capon and cut it up in a +masterly manner. + +"We have a waiter who knows his work," said the lady of my thoughts. + +"Have you been long at this inn?" + +"Only a few weeks, madam." + +"You wait very well." + +"Madam is very good." + +I had tucked in my superb ruffles of English point lace, but my +frilled shirt front of the same material protruded slightly through +my vest, which I had not buttoned carefully. She saw it, and said, +"Come here a moment." + +"What does madam require?" + +"Let me see it. What beautiful lace!" + +"So I have been told, madam, but it is very old. An Italian +gentleman who was staying here made me a present of it." + +"You have ruffles of the same kind, I suppose?" + +"Yes, madam;" and so saying I stretched out my hand, unbuttoning my +waistcoat. She gently drew out the ruffle, and seemed to place +herself in a position to intoxicate me with the sight of her charms, +although she was tightly laced. What an ecstatic moment! I knew she +had recognized me, and the thought that I could not carry the +masquerade beyond a certain point was a veritable torment to me. + +When she had looked a long time, one of the others said, + +"You are certainly very curious, my dear, one would think you had +never seen lace before." + +At this she blushed. + +When the supper was done, the three ugly ladies each went apart to +undress, while I took away the dishes, and my heroine began to write. +I confess that I was almost infatuated enough to think that she was +writing to me; however, I had too high an opinion of her to entertain +the idea. + +As soon as I had taken away the dishes, I stood by the door in the +respectful manner becoming the occasion. + +"What are you waiting for?" she said. + +"For your orders, madam." + +"Thank you, I don't want anything." + +"Your boots, madam, you will like them removed before you retire." + +"True, but still I don't like to give you so much trouble." + +"I am here to attend on you, madam." + +So saying, I knelt on one knee before her, and slowly unplaced her +boots while she continued writing. I went farther; I unbuckled her +garters, delighting in the contemplation and still more in the touch +of her delicately-shaped legs, but too soon for me she turned her +head, and said, + +"That will do, thank you. I did not notice that you were giving +yourself so much trouble. We shall see you to-morrow evening." + +"Then you will sup here, ladies?" + +"Certainly." + +I took her boots away, and asked if I should lock the door. + +"No, my good fellow," said she, in the voice of a syren, "leave the +key inside." + +Le Duc took the charmer's boots from me, and said, laughing,-- + +"She has caught you." + +"What?" + +"I saw it all, sir, you played your part as well as any actor in +Paris; and I am certain that she will give you a louis to-morrow, but +if you don't hand it over to me I will blow on the whole thing." + +"That's enough, you rascal; get me my supper as quickly as possible." + +Such are the pleasures which old age no longer allows me to enjoy, +except in my memory. There are monsters who preach repentance, and +philosophers who treat all pleasures as vanity. Let them talk on. +Repentance only befits crimes, and pleasures are realities, though +all too fleeting. + +A happy dream made me pass the night with the fair lady; doubtless it +was a delusion, but a delusion full of bliss. What would I not give +now for such dreams, which made my nights so sweet! + +Next morning at day-break I was at her door with her boots in my hand +just as their coachman came to call them. I asked them, as a matter +of form, if they would have breakfast, and they replied merrily that +they had made too good a supper to have any appetite at such an early +hour. I went out of the room to give them time to dress, but the +door was half open, and I saw reflected in the glass the snow-white +bosom of my fair one; it was an intoxicating sight. When she had +laced herself and put on her dress she called for her boots. I asked +if I should put them on, to which she consented with a good grace, +and as she had green velvet breeches, she seemed to consider herself +as almost a man. And, after all, a waiter is not worth putting one's +self out about. All the worst for him if he dare conceive any hopes +from the trifling concessions he receives. His punishment will be +severe, for who would have thought he could have presumed so far? +As for me, I am now, sad to say, grown old, and enjoy some few +privileges of this description, which I relish, though despising +myself, and still more those who thus indulge me. + +After she had gone I went to sleep again, hoping to see her in the +evening. When I awoke I heard that the abbot of Einsiedel was at +Zurich, and my landlord told me that his reverend highness would dine +with me in my room. I told him that I wished to treat the abbot +well, and that he must set the best dinner he could for us. + +At noon the worthy prelate was shewn up to my room, and began by +complimenting me on the good reputation I had at Zurich, saying that +this made him believe that my vocation was a real one. + +"The following distich," he added, "should now become your motto: + "Inveni portum. Spes et fortuna valete; + Nil mihi vobiscum est: ludite nuns alios." + +"That is a translation of two verses from Euripides," I answered; +"but, my lord, they will not serve me, as I have changed my mind +since yesterday." + +"I congratulate you," said he, "and I hope you will accomplish all +your desires. I may tell you confidentially that it is much easier +to save one's soul in the world where one can do good to one's +neighbours, than in the convent, where a man does no good to himself +nor to anyone else." + +This was not speaking like the hypocrite Guistiniani had described to +me; on the contrary, it was the language of a good and sensible man. + +We had a princely dinner, as my landlord had made each of the three +courses a work of art. The repast was enlivened by an interesting +conversation, to which wit and humour were not lacking. After coffee +I thanked the abbot with the greatest respect, and accompanied him to +his carriage, where the reverend father reiterated his offers of +serving me, and thus, well pleased with one another, we parted. + +The presence and the conversation of this worthy priest had not for a +moment distracted my thoughts from the pleasing object with which +they were occupied. So soon as the abbot had gone, I went to the +bridge to await the blessed angel, who seemed to have been sent from +Soleure with the express purpose of delivering me from the temptation +to become a monk, which the devil had put into my heart. Standing on +the bridge I built many a fine castle in Spain, and about six in the +evening I had the pleasure of seeing my fair traveller once more. I +hid myself so as to see without being seen. I was greatly surprised +to see them all four looking towards my window. Their curiosity +shewed me that the lady had told them of the secret, and with my +astonishment there was some admixture of anger. This was only +natural, as I not only saw myself deprived of the hope of making any +further advances, but I felt that I could no longer play my part of +waiter with any confidence. In spite of my love for the lady I would +not for the world become the laughing-stock of her three plain +companions. If I had interested her in my favour, she would +certainly not have divulged my secret, and I saw in her doing so +proof positive that she did not want the jest to go any further, or +rather of her want of that spirit so necessary to ensure the success +of an intrigue. If the three companions of my charmer had had +anything attractive about them, I might possibly have persevered and +defied misfortune; but in the same measure as beauty cheers my heart, +ugliness depresses it. Anticipating the melancholy which I foresaw +would result from this disappointment, I went out with the idea of +amusing myself, and happening to meet Giustiniani I told him of my +misfortune, saying that I should not be sorry to make up for it by a +couple of hours of the society of some mercenary beauty. + +"I will take you to a house," said he, "where you will find what you +want. Go up to the second floor and you will be well received by an +old woman, if you whisper my name to her. I dare not accompany you, +as I am well known in the town and it might get me into trouble with +the police, who are ridiculously strict in these matters. Indeed I +advise you to take care that nobody sees you going in." + +I followed the ex-Capuchin's advice and waited for the dusk of the +evening. I had a good reception, but the supper was poor, and the +hours that I spent with two young girls of the working class were +tedious. They were pretty enough, but my head was full of my +perfidious charmer, and besides, despite their neatness and +prettiness, they were wanting in that grace which adds so many charms +to pleasure. The liberality of my payment, to which they were not +accustomed, captivated the old woman, who said she would get me all +the best stuff in the town; but she warned me to take care that +nobody saw me going into her house. + +When I got back Le Duc told me that I had been wise to slip away, as +my masquerade had become generally known, and the whole house, +including the landlord, had been eagerly waiting to see me play the +part of waiter. "I took your place," he added. "The lady who has +taken your fancy is Madame----, and I must confess she is vastly +fine." + +"Did she ask where the other waiter was?" + +"No, but the other ladies asked what had become of you several +times." + +"And Madame said nothing?" + +"She didn't open her mouth, but looked sad and seemed to care for +nothing, till I said you were away because you were ill." + +"That was stupid of you. Why did you say that?" + +"I had to say something." + +"True. Did you untie her shoe?" + +"No; she did not want me to do so." + +"Good. Who told you her name?" + +"Her coachman. She is just married to a man older than herself." + +I went to bed, but could only think of the indiscretion and sadness +of my fair lady. I could not reconcile the two traits in her +character. Next day, knowing that she would be starting early, I +posted myself at the window to see her get into the carriage, but I +took care to arrange the curtain in such a way that I could not be +seen. Madame was the last to get in, and pretending that she wanted +to see if it rained, she took off her bonnet and lifted her head. +Drawing the curtain with one hand, and taking off my cap with the +other, I wafted her a kiss with the tips of my fingers. In her turn +she bowed graciously, returning my kiss with a good-natured smile. + + + + +CHAPTER XIV + +I Leave Zurich--Comic Adventure at Baden--Soleure--M. De Chavigni-- +M. and Madame * * * I Act in a Play--I Counterfeit Sickness to Attain +Happiness + + +M. Mote, my landlord, introduced his two sons to me. He had brought +them up like young princes. In Switzerland, an inn-keeper is not +always a man of no account. There are many who are as much respected +as people of far higher rank are in other countries. But each +country has its own manners. My landlord did the honours of the +table, and thought it no degradation to make his guests pay for the +meal. He was right; the only really degrading thing in the world is +vice. A Swiss landlord only takes the chief place at table to see +that everyone is properly attended to. If he have a son, he does not +sit down with his father, but waits on the guests, with napkin in +hand. At Schaffhaus, my landlord's son, who was a captain in the +Imperial army, stood behind my chair and changed my plate, while his +father sat at the head of the table. Anywhere else the son would +have been waited on, but in his father's house he thought, and +rightly, that it was an honour to wait. + +Such are Swiss customs, of which persons of superficial understanding +very foolishly make a jest. All the same, the vaunted honour and +loyalty of the Swiss do not prevent them from fleecing strangers, at +least as much as the Dutch, but the greenhorns who let themselves be +cheated, learn thereby that it is well to bargain before-hand, and +then they treat one well and charge reasonably. In this way, when I +was at Bale, I baffled the celebrated Imhoff, the landlord of the +"Three Kings." + +M. Ote complimented me on my waiter's disguise, and said he was sorry +not to have seen me officiating, nevertheless, he said he thought I +was wise not to repeat the jest. He thanked me for the honour I had +done his house, and begged me to do him the additional favour of +dining at his table some day before I left. I answered that I would +dine with him with pleasure that very day. I did so, and was treated +like a prince. + +The reader will have guessed that the last look my charmer gave me +had not extinguished the fire which the first sight of her had +kindled in my breast. It had rather increased my flame by giving me +hopes of being better acquainted with her; in short, it inspired me +with the idea of going to Soleure in order to give a happy ending to +the adventure. I took a letter of credit on Geneva, and wrote to +Madame d'Urfe, begging her to give me a written introduction, couched +in strong terms to M. de Chavigni, the French ambassador, telling her +that the interests of our order were highly involved in my knowing +this diplomatist, and requesting her to address letters to me at the +post office at Soleure. I also wrote to the Duke of Wurtemburg, but +had no answer from him, and indeed he must have found my epistle very +unpleasant reading. + +I visited the old woman whom Giustiniani had told me of several times +before I left Zurich, and although I ought to have been well +satisfied as far as physical beauty was concerned, my enjoyment was +very limited, as the nymphs I wooed only spoke Swiss dialect--a +rugged corruption of German. I have always found that love without +speech gives little enjoyment, and I cannot imagine a more +unsatisfactory mistress than a mute, were she as lovely as Venus +herself. + +I had scarcely left Zurich when I was obliged to stop at Baden to +have the carriage M. Ote had got me mended. I might have started +again at eleven, but on hearing that a young Polish lady on her way +to Our Lady of Einseidel was to dine at the common table, I decided +to wait; but I had my trouble for nothing, as she turned out to be +quite unworthy of the delay. + +After dinner, while my horses were being put in, the host's daughter, +a pretty girl enough, came into the room and made me waltz with her; +it chanced to be a Sunday. All at once her father came in, and the +girl fled. + +"Sir," said the rascal, "you are condemned to pay a fine of one +louis." + +"Why?" + +"For having danced on a holy day." + +"Get out; I won't pay." + +"You will pay, though," said he, shewing me a great parchment covered +with writing I did not understand. + +"I will appeal." + +"To whom, sir?" + +"To the judge of the place." + +He left the room, and in a quarter of an hour I was told that the +judge was waiting for me in an adjoining chamber. I thought to +myself that the judges were very polite in that part of the world, +but when I got into the room I saw the rascally host buried in a wig +and gown. + +"Sir," said he, "I am the judge." + +"Judge and plaintiff too, as far as I can see." + +He wrote in his book, confirming the sentence, and mulcting me in six +francs for the costs of the case. + +"But if your daughter had not tempted me." said I, "I should not have +danced; she is therefore as guilty as I." + +"Very true, sir; here is a Louis for her." So saying he took a Louis +out of his pocket, put it into a desk beside him, and said; "Now +yours." + +I began to laugh, paid my fine, and put off my departure till the +morrow. + +As I was going to Lucerne I saw the apostolic nuncio (who invited me +to dinner), and at Fribourg Comte d'Afri's young and charming wife; +but at ten leagues from Soleure I was a witness of the following +curious circumstances. + +I was stopping the night in a village, and had made friends with the +surgeon, whom I had found at the inn, and while supper, which he was +to share with me, was getting ready, we walked about the village +together. It was in the dusk of the evening, and at a distance of a +hundred paces I saw a man climbing up the wall of a house, and +finally vanishing through a window on the first floor. + +"That's a robber," said I, pointing him out to the surgeon. He +laughed and said,-- + +"The custom may astonish you, but it is a common one in many parts of +Switzerland. The man you have just seen is a young lover who is +going to pass the night with his future bride. Next morning he will +leave more ardent than before, as she will not allow him to go too +far. If she was weak enough to yield to his desires he would +probably decline to marry her, and she would find it difficult to get +married at all." + +At Soleure I found a letter from Madame d'Urfe, with an enclosure +from the Duc de Choiseul to the ambassador, M. de Chavigni. It was +sealed, but the duke's name was written below the address. + +I made a Court toilet, took a coach, and went to call on the +ambassador. His excellency was not at home, so I left my card and +the letter. It was a feast-day, and I went to high mass, not so +much, I confess, to seek for God as for my charmer, but she was not +there. After service I walked around the town, and on my return +found an officer who asked me to dinner at the ambassador's. + +Madame d'Urfe said that on the receipt of my letter she had gone +straightway to Versailles, and that with the help of Madame de +Grammont she had got me an introduction of the kind I wanted. This +was good news for me, as I desired to cut an imposing figure at +Soleure. I had plenty of money, and I knew that this magic metal +glittered in the eyes of all. M. de Chavigni had been ambassador at +Venice thirty years before, and I knew a number of anecdotes about +his adventures there, and I was eager to see what I could make out of +him. + +I went to his house at the time appointed, and found all his servants +in full livery, which I looked upon as a happy omen. My name was not +announced, and I remarked that when I came in both sides of the door +were opened for me by the page. A fine old man came forward to meet +me, and paying me many well-turned compliments introduced me to those +present. Then, with the delicate tact of the courtier, pretending +not to recollect my name, he drew the Duc de Choiseul's letter from +his pocket, and read aloud the paragraph in which the minister +desired him to treat me with the utmost consideration. He made me +sit on an easy chair at his right hand, and asked me questions to +which I could only answer that I was travelling for my pleasure, and +that I considered the Swiss nation to be in many respects superior to +all other nations whatsoever. + +Dinner was served, and his excellency set me on his right hand in a +position of equal honour to his own. We were sixteen in company, and +behind every chair stood a magnificent lackey in the ambassador's +livery. In the course of conversation I got an opportunity of +telling the ambassador that he was still spoken of at Venice with the +utmost affection. + +"I shall always remember," he said, "the kindness with which the +Venetians treated me; but tell me, I beg, the names of those +gentlemen who still remember me; they must be quite old now." + +This was what I was waiting for. M. de Malipiero had told me of +certain events which had happened during the regency, and M. de +Bragadin had informed me of the ambassador's amours with the +celebrated Stringhetta. + +His excellency's fare was perfect, but in the pleasure of conversing +I forgot that of eating. I told all my anecdotes so racily that his +features expressed the pleasure I was affording him, and when we rose +from the table he shook me by the hand, and told me he had not had so +agreeable a dinner since he had been at Soleure. + +"The recollection of my Venetian gallantries," said the worthy old +man, "makes me recall many a happy moment; I feel quite young again." + +He embraced me, and bade me consider myself as one of his family +during my stay at Soleure. + +After dinner he talked a good deal about Venice, praising the +Government, and saying that there was not a town in the world where a +man could fare better, provided he took care to get good oil and +foreign wines. About five o'clock he asked me to come for a drive +with him, getting into the carriage first to give me the best place. + +We got out at a pretty country house where ices were served to us. +On our way back he said that he had a large party every evening, and +that he hoped I would do him the honour to be present whenever it +suited my inclinations, assuring me that he would do his best to +amuse me. I was impatient to take part in the assembly, as I felt +certain I should see my charmer there. It was a vain hope, however, +for I saw several ladies, some old and ugly, some passable, but not +one pretty. + +Cards were produced, and I soon found myself at a table with a young +lady of fair complexion and a plain-looking woman well advanced in +years, who seemed, however, not to be destitute of wit. Though I was +looed I played on, and I lost five or six hundred fish without +opening my lips. When it came to a profit and loss account, the +plain woman told me I owed three louis. + +"Three louis, madam." + +"Yes, sir; we have been playing at two sous the fish. You thought, +perhaps, we were playing for farthings." + +"On the contrary, I thought it was for francs, as I never play +lower." She did not answer this boast of mine, but she seemed +annoyed. On rejoining the company after this wearisome game, I +proceeded to scrutinize all the ladies present rapidly but keenly, +but I could not see her for whom I looked, and was on the point of +leaving, when I happened to notice two ladies who were looking at me +attentively. I recognized them directly. They were two of my fair +one's companions, whom I had had the honour of waiting on at Zurich. +I hurried off, pretending not to recognize them. + +Next day, a gentleman in the ambassador's suite came to tell me that +his excellency was going to call on me. I told him that I would not +go out till I had the honour of receiving his master, and I conceived +the idea of questioning him concerning that which lay next to my +heart. However, he spared me the trouble, as the reader will see for +himself. + +I gave M. de Chavigni the best reception I could, and after we had +discussed the weather he told me, with a smile, that he had the most +ridiculous affair to broach to me, begging me to credit him when he +said that he did not believe it for a moment. + +"Proceed, my lord." + +"Two ladies who saw you at my house yesterday told me in confidence, +after you had gone, that I should do well to be on my guard, as you +were the waiter in an inn at Zurich where they had stayed. They +added that they had seen the other waiter by the Aar, and that in all +probability you had run away from the inn together; God alone knows +why! They said, furthermore, that you slipped away from my house +yesterday as soon as you saw them. I told them that even if you were +not the bearer of a letter from his grace the Duc de Choiseul I +should have been convinced that they were mistaken, and that they +should dine with you to-day, if they would accept my invitation. I +also hinted that you might have merely disguised yourself as a waiter +in the hopes of winning some favours from them, but they rejected the +hypothesis as absurd, and said that you could carve a capon and +change a plate dexterously enough, but were only a common waiter for +all that, adding that with my permission they would compliment you on +your skill to-day. + +"'Do so, by all means, ladies,' said I, "M. Casanova and myself will +be highly amused.' And now do you mind telling me whether there be +any foundation of truth in the whole story?" + +"Certainly, my lord, I will tell you all without reserve, but in +confidence, as this ridiculous report may injure the honour of one +who is dear to me, and whom I would not injure for the world." + +"It is true, then? I am quite interested to hear all about it." + +"It is true to a certain extent; I hope you don't take me for the +real waiter at the 'Sword.'" + +"Certainly not, but I supposed you played the part of waiter?" + +"Exactly. Did they tell you that they were four in company." + +"Ah, I have got it! Pretty Madame was one of the party. That +explains the riddle; now I understand everything. But you were quite +right in saying that discretion was needful; she has a perfectly +blameless reputation." + +"Ah! I did not know that. What happened was quite innocent, but it +might be so garbled in the telling as to become prejudicial to the +honour of a lady whose beauty struck me with admiration." + +I told him all the details of the case, adding that I had only come +to Soleure in the hopes of succeeding in my suit. + +"If that prove an impossibility," said I, "I shall leave Soleure in +three or four days; but I will first turn the three ugly companions +of my charmer into ridicule. They might have had sense enough to +guess that the waiter's apron was only a disguise. They can only +pretend to be ignorant of the fact in the hope of getting some +advantage over me, and injuring their friend, who was ill advised to +let them into the secret." + +"Softly, softly, you go too fast and remind me of my own young days. +Permit me to embrace you, your story has delighted me. You shall not +go away, you shall stay here and court your charmer. To-day you can +turn two mischievous women into ridicule, but do it in an easy way. +The thing is so straightforward that M.---- will be the first to +laugh at it. His wife cannot be ignorant of your love for her, and I +know enough of women to pronounce that your disguise cannot have +displeased her. She does know of your love?" + +"Undoubtedly." + +He went away laughing, and at the door of his coach embraced me for +the third time. + +I could not doubt that my charmer had told the whole story to her +three friends as they were returning from Einsiedel to Zurich, and +this made the part they had played all the more ill-natured; but I +felt that it was to my interest to let their malice pass for wit. + +I went to the ambassador's at half-past one, and after making my bow +to him I proceeded to greet the company, and saw the two ladies. +Thereupon, with a frank and generous air, I went up to the more +malicious-looking of the two (she was lame, which may have made me +think her more ill-looking) and asked if she recognized me. + +"You confess, then, that you are the waiter at the 'Sword'?" + +"Well, not quite that, madam, but I confess that I was the waiter for +an hour, and that you cruelly disdained to address a single word to +me, though I was only a waiter, because I longed for the bliss of +seeing you. But I hope I shall be a little more fortunate here, and +that you will allow me to pay you my respectful homage." + +"This is very wonderful! You played your part so well that the +sharpest eye would have been deceived. Now we shall see if you play +your new part as well. If you do me the honour to call on me I will +give you a good welcome." + +After these complimentary speeches, the story became public property, +and the whole table was amusing itself with it, when I had the +happiness of seeing M.---- and Madame coming into the room. + +"There is the good-natured waiter," said she to her husband. + +The worthy man stepped forward, and politely thanked me for having +done his wife the honour of taking off her boots. + +This told me that she had concealed nothing, and I was glad. Dinner +was served, M. de Chavigni made my charmer sit at his right hand, and +I was placed between my two calumniators. I was obliged to hide my +game, so, although I disliked them intensely, I made love to them, +hardly raising my eyes to glance at Madame , who looked ravishing. I +did not find her husband either as old or as jealous as I had +expected. The ambassador asked him and his wife to stay the evening +to an impromptu ball, and then said, that in order for me to be able +to tell the Duc de Choiseul that I was well amused at Soleure, he +would be delighted to have a play, if Madame would act the fair +'Ecossaise' again. She said she should be delighted, but two more +actors were wanted. + +"That is all right," said the kind old gentleman, "I will play +Montrose." + +"And I, Murray," I remarked. + +My lame friend, angry at this arrangement, which only left her the +very bad part of Lady Alton, could not help lancing a shaft at me. + +"Oh! why isn't there a waiter's part in the play?" said she, "you +would play it so well." + +"That is well said, but I hope you will teach me to play Murray even +better." + +Next morning, I got the words of my part, and the ambassador told me +that the ball would be given in my honour. After dinner I went to my +inn, and after making an elaborate toilette I returned to the +brilliant company. + +The ambassador begged me to open the ball, and introduced me to the +highest born but not the most beautiful lady in the place. I then +danced with all the ladies present until the good-natured old man got +me the object of my vows as a partner in the quadrilles, which he did +so easily that no one could have made any remark. "Lord Murray," +said he, "must dance with no one but Lindane." + +At the first pause I took the opportunity of saying that I had only +come to Soleure for her sake, that it was for her sake that I had +disguised myself at Zurich, and that I hoped she would permit me to +pay my addresses to her. + +"I cannot invite you to my house," said she, "for certain sufficient +reasons; but if you will stay here some time we shall be able to see +each other. But I entreat you not to shew me any marked attention in +public, for there are those who will spy upon our actions, and it is +not pleasant to be talked about. + +I was quite satisfied with this, and told her that I would do all in +my power to please her, and that the most prying eyes should have +nothing to fix on. I felt that the pleasure I looked forward to +would be rendered all the sweeter by a tincture of mystery. + +I had proclaimed myself as a novice in the mimic art, and had +entreated my lame friend to be kind enough to instruct me. I +therefore went to her in the morning, but she could only flatter +herself that hers was a reflected light, as I had opportunities for +paying my court to my charmer in her house, and however great her +vanity may have been, she must have had some suspicions of the truth. + +This woman was a widow, aged between thirty and forty years, of a +jaundiced complexion, and a piercing and malicious aspect. In her +efforts to hide the inequality of her legs, she walked with a stiff +and awkward air; and, wishing to be thought a wit, she increased her +natural dullness by a ceaseless flow of small talk. I persisted in +behaving towards her with a great air of respect, and one day she +said that, having seen me in the disguise of a waiter, she would not +have thought I was a man of a timid nature. + +"In what respect do you think me timid?" said I; to which she gave me +no answer, but I knew perfectly well what she meant. I was tired of +my part, and I had determined to play it no more when we had acted +L'Ecossaise. + +All the best people at Soleure were present at our first performance. +The lame lady was delighted with the horror inspired by her acting; +but she might credit a great deal of it to her appearance. M. de +Chavigni drew forth the tears of the audience, his acting was said to +be better than the great Voltaire's. As for me, I remember how near +I was to fainting when, in the third scene of the fifth act, Lindane +said to me, + +"What! You! You dare to love me?" + +She pronounced these words with such fiery scorn that all the +spectators applauded vehemently. I was almost put out of +countenance, for I thought I detected in her voice an insult to my +honour. However, I collected myself in the minute's respite which +the loud applause gave me, and I replied,--- + +"Yes; I adore you! How should I not?" + +So pathetically and tenderly did I pronounce these words that the +hall rang again with the applause, and the encores from four hundred +throats made me repeat the words which, indeed, came from my heart. + +In spite of the pleasure we had given to the audience, we judged +ourselves not perfect in our parts, and M. de Chavigni advised us to +put off our second performance for a couple of days. + +"We will have a rehearsal to-morrow at my country house," said he, +"and I beg the favour of all your companies to dinner there." + +However, we all made each other compliments on our acting. My lame +friend told me I had played well, but not so well as in the part of +waiter, which really suited me admirably. This sarcasm got the laugh +on her side, but I returned it by telling her that my performance was +a work of art, while her playing of Lady Alton was pure nature. +M. de Chavigni told Madame that the spectators were wrong to applaud +when she expressed her wonder at my loving her, since she had spoken +the words disdainfully; and it was impossible that Lindane could have +despised Murray. The ambassador called for me the next day in his +carriage, and when we reached his country-house we found all the +actors assembled there. His excellency addressed himself in the +first place to M.----, telling him he thought his business was as +good as done, and that they would talk about it after dinner. We sat +down to table, and afterwards rehearsed the piece without any need of +the prompter's assistance. + +Towards evening the ambassador told the company that he would expect +them to supper that evening at Soleure, and everyone left with the +exception of the ambassador, myself, and M.---- and Madame----. Just +as we were going I had an agreeable surprise. + +"Will you come with me," said the Ambassador to M.---- , "we can talk +the matter over at our ease? M. Casanova will have the honour of +keeping your wife company in your carriage." + +I gave the fair lady my hand respectfully, and she took it with an +air of indifference, but as I was helping her in she pressed my hand +with all her might. The reader can imagine how that pressure made my +blood circulate like fire in my veins. + +Thus we were seated side by side, our knees pressed tenderly against +each other. Half an hour seemed like a minute, but it must not be +thought that we wasted the time. Our lips were glued together, and +were not set apart till we came within ten paces of the ambassador's +house, which I could have wished at ten leagues distance. She was +the first to get down, and I was alarmed to see the violent blush +which overspread her whole face. Such redness looked unnatural; it +might betray us; our spring of happiness would soon be dry. The +watchful eye of the envious Alton would be fixed upon us, and not in +vain; her triumph would outweigh her humiliation. I was at my wits' +end. + +Love and luck, which have so favoured me throughout the course of my +life, came to my aid. I had about me a small box containing +hellebore. I opened it as if by instinct, and invited her to take a +small pinch. She did so, and I followed her example; but the dose +was too strong, and as we were going up the stairs we began to +sneeze, and for the next quarter of an hour we continued sneezing. +People were obliged to attribute her high colour to the sneezing, or +at least no one could give voice to any other suppositions. When the +sneezing fit was over, this woman, who was as clever as she was +pretty, said her headache was gone, but she would take care another +time not to take so strong a dose. I looked out of the corner of my +eye at the malicious widow, who said nothing but seemed deep in +thought. + +This piece of good luck decided me on staying at Soleure till my love +was crowned with success, and I determined to take a country house. +I shall not have much opinion of my readers if they find themselves +in my position--rich, young, independent, full of fire, and having +only pleasure to seek for--and do not follow my example. A perfect +beauty was before me with whom I was madly in love, and who, I was +sure, shared that love. I had plenty of money, and I was my own +master. I thought this a much better plan than turning monk, and I +was above caring "what people would say." As soon as the ambassador +had returned, which he always did at an early hour on account of his +advanced age, I left the company and went to see him in his private +room. In truth I felt I must give him that confidence which he had +so well deserved. + +As soon as he saw me he said,-- + +"Well, well, did you profit by the interview I got you?" + +I embraced him, and said,-- + +"I may hope for everything." + +When I was telling him about the hellebore he was lavish in his +compliments on my presence of mind, for, as he said, such an unusual +colour would have made people think there had been some kind of a +combat--a supposition which would not have tended towards my success. +After I had told him all, I imparted my plan. + +"I shall do nothing in a hurry," said I, "as I have to take care that +the lady's honour does not suffer, and I trust to time to see the +accomplishment of my wishes. I shall want a pretty country house, a +good carriage, two lackeys, a good cook, and a housekeeper. All that +I leave to your excellency, as I look upon you as my refuge and +guardian angel." + +"To-morrow, without fail, I will see what I can do, and I have good +hopes of doing you a considerable service and of rendering you well +content with the attractions of Soleure." + +Next day our rehearsal went off admirably, and the day after the +ambassador spoke to me as follows: + +"So far as I can see, what you are aiming at in this intrigue is the +satisfying of your desires without doing any harm to the lady's +reputation. I think I know the nature of your love for her well +enough to say that if she told you that your leaving Soleure was +necessary to her peace of mind you would leave her at once. You see +that I have sounded you well enough to be a competent adviser in this +delicate and important affair, to which the most famous events in the +annals of diplomacy are not to be compared." + +"Your excellency does not do sufficient justice to a career which has +gained you such distinction." + +"That's because I am an old man, my dear fellow, and have shaken off +the rust and dust of prejudices, and am able to see things as they +really are, and appreciate them at their true value. But let us +return to your love-affair. If you wish to keep it in the dark, you +must avoid with the greatest care any action which may awaken +suspicion in the minds of people who do not believe that anything is +indifferent. The most malicious and censorious will not be able to +get anything but the merest chance out of the interview I procured +you today, and the accident of the sneezing bout, defy the most ill- +natured to draw any deductions; for an eager lover does not begin his +suit by sending the beloved one into convulsions. Nobody can guess +that your hellebore was used to conceal the blush that your caresses +occasioned, since it does not often happen that an amorous combat +leaves such traces; and how can you be expected to have foreseen the +lady's blushes, and to have provided yourself with a specific against +them? In short, the events of to-day will not disclose your secret. +M.---- who, although he wishes to pass for a man devoid of jealousy, +is a little jealous; M.---- himself cannot have seen anything out of +the common in my asking him to return with me, as I had business of +importance with him, and he has certainly no reasons for supposing +that I should be likely to help you to intrigue with his wife. +Furthermore, the laws of politeness would have forbidden me, under +any circumstances, offering the lady the place I offered him, and as +he prides himself on his politeness he can raise no possible +objection to the arrangement which was made. To be sure I am old and +you are young--a distinction not unimportant in a husband's eyes. +"After this exordium," added the good-natured ambassador, with a +laugh, "an exordium which I have delivered in the official style of a +secretary of state, let us see where we are. Two things are +necessary for you to obtain your wished-for bliss. The first thing, +which concerns you more particularly, is to make M.---- your friend, +and to conceal from him that you have conceived a passion for his +wife, and here I will aid you to the best of my ability. The second +point concerns the lady's honour; all your relations with her must +appear open and above-board. Consider yourself under my protection; +you must not even take a country house before we have found out some +plan for throwing dust into the eyes of the observant. However, you +need not be anxious; I have hit upon a plan. + +"You must pretend to be taken ill, but your illness must be of such a +kind that your doctor will be obliged to take your word for the +symptoms. Luckily, I know a doctor whose sole idea is to order +country air for all complaints. This physician, who is about as +clever as his brethren, and kills or cures as well as any of them, +will come and feel my pulse one of these days. You must take his +advice, and for a couple of louis he will write you a prescription +with country air as the chief item. He will then inform everybody +that your case is serious, but that he will answer for your cure." + +"What is his name?" + +"Doctor Herrenschwand." + +"What is he doing here? I knew him at Paris; he was Madame du +Rumain's doctor." + +"That is his brother. Now find out some polite complaint, which will +do you credit with the public. It will be easy enough to find a +house, and I will get you an excellent cook to make your gruel and +beef-tea." + +The choice of a complaint cost me some thought; I had to give it a +good deal of attention. The same evening I managed to communicate my +plan to Madame who approved of it. I begged her to think of some way +of writing to me, and she said she would. + +"My husband," said she, "has a very high opinion of you. He has +taken no offence at our coming in the same carriage. But tell me, +was it an accident or design that made M. de Chavigni take my husband +and leave us together?" + +"It was the result of design, dearest." She raised her beautiful +eyes and bit her lips. "Are you sorry it was so?" + +"Alas! no." + +In three or four days, on the day on which we were going to act +L'Ecossaise, the doctor came to dine with the ambassador and stayed +till the evening to see the play. At dessert he complimented me on +my good health, on which I took the opportunity, and told him that +appearances were deceitful, and that I should be glad to consult him +the next day. No doubt he was delighted to be deceived in his +estimate of my health, and he said he should be glad if he could be +of any service. He called on me at the hour agreed upon, and I told +him such symptoms as my fancy dictated; amongst other things, that I +was subject to certain nocturnal irritations which made me extremely +weak, especially in the reins. + +"Quite so, quite so; it's a troublesome thing, but we will see what +can be done. My first remedy, which you may possibly not care much +for, is for you to pass six weeks in the country, where you will not +see those objects which impress your brain, acting on the seventh +pair of nerves, and causing that lumbar discharge which no doubt +leaves you in a very depressed state." + +"Yes, it certainly does." + +"Quite so, quite so. My next remedy is cold bathing." + +"Are the baths far from here?" + +"They are wherever you like. I will write you a prescription, and +the druggist will make it up." + +I thanked him, and after he had pouched the double-louis I slipped +politely into his hand, he went away assuring me that I should soon +experience an improvement in my health. By the evening the whole +town knew that I was ill and had to go into the country. M. de +Chavigni said pleasantly at dinner to the doctor, that he should have +forbidden me all feminine visitors; and my lame friend, refining on +the idea, added that I should above all be debarred access to certain +portraits, of which I had a box-full. I laughed approvingly, and +begged M. de Chavigni, in the presence of the company, to help me to +find a pretty house and a good cook, as I did not intend to take my +meals alone. + +I was tired of playing a wearisome part, and had left off going to +see my lame friend, but she soon reproached me for my inconstancy, +telling me that I had made a tool of her. "I know all," said this +malicious woman, "and I will be avenged." + +"You cannot be avenged for nothing," said I, "for I have never done +you an injury. However, if you intend to have me assassinated, I +shall apply for police protection." + +"We don't assassinate here," said she, savagely. "We are not +Italians." + +I was delighted to be relieved from the burden of her society, and +henceforth Madame was the sole object of my thoughts. M. de +Chavigni, who seemed to delight in serving me, made her husband +believe that I was the only person who could get the Duc de Choiseul +to pardon a cousin of his who was in the guards, and had had the +misfortune to kill his man in a duel. "This," said the kindly old +gentleman, "is the best way possible of gaining the friendship of +your rival. Do you think you can manage it?" + +"I am not positive of success." + +"Perhaps I have gone a little too far; but I told him that by means +of your acquaintance with the Duchesse de Grammont you could do +anything with the minister." + +"I must make you a true prophet; I will do all I can." + +The consequence was that M.---- informed me of the facts in the +ambassador's presence, and brought me all the papers relative to the +case. + +I spent the night in writing to the Duchesse de Grammont. I made my +letter as pathetic as possible, with a view to touching her heart, +and then her father's; and I then wrote to the worthy Madame d'Urfe +telling her that the well-being of the sublime order of the Rosy +Cross was concerned in the pardon of a Swiss officer, who had been +obliged to leave the kingdom on account of a duel in which the order +was highly concerned. + +In the morning, after resting for an hour, I went to the ambassador, +and shewed him the letter I had written to the duchess. He thought +it excellently expressed, and advised me to skew it to M.---- I +found him with his night-cap on; he was extremely grateful for the +interest I took in a matter which was so near to his heart. He told +me that his wife had not yet risen, and asked me to wait and take +breakfast with her. I should have much liked to accept the +invitation, but I begged him to make my excuses to his lady for my +absence, on the pretence that I had to finish my letters, and hand +them to the courier who was just leaving. I hoped in this way to +scatter any jealousy that might be hovering in his brain, by the +slight importance I attached to a meeting with his wife. + +I went to dine with M. de Chavigni, who thought my conduct had been +very politic, and said that he was certain that henceforth M.---- +would be my best friend. He then skewed me a letter from Voltaire +thanking him for playing Montrose in his Ecossaise; and another from +the Marquis de Chauvelin, who was then at Delices with the +philosopher of Ferney. He promised to come and see him after he had +been to Turin, where he had been appointed ambassador. + + + + +CHAPTER XV + +My Country House--Madame Dubois--Malicious Trick Played on Me by My +Lame Enemy--My Vexation + +There was a reception and a supper at the Court, as they styled the +hotel of M. de Chavigni, or rather of the ambassador of the King of +France in Switzerland. As I came in I saw my charmer sitting apart +reading a letter. I accosted her, apologizing for not having stayed +to breakfast, but she said I had done quite right, adding that if I +had not chosen a country house she hoped I would take one her husband +would probably mention to me that evening. She could not say any +more, as she was called away to a game at quadrille. For my part I +did not play, but wandered from one table to another. + +At supper everybody talked to me about my health, and my approaching +stay in the country. This gave M.---- an opportunity to mention a +delightful house near the Aar; "but," he added, "it is not to be let +for less than six months." + +"If I like it," I replied, "and am free to leave it when I please, I +will willingly pay the six months' rent in advance." + +"There is a fine hall in it." + +"All the better; I will give a ball as evidence of my gratitude to +the people of Soleure for the kind welcome I have received from +them." + +"Would you like to come and see it to-morrow?" + +"With pleasure." + +"Very good, then I will call for you at eight o'clock, if that hour +will suit you." + +"I shall expect you." + +When I got back to my lodging I ordered a travelling carriage and +four, and the next morning, before eight o'clock, I called for M. +who was ready, and seemed flattered at my anticipating him. + +"I made my wife promise to come with us; but she is a sluggard, who +prefers her bed to the fresh air." + +In less than an hour we reached our journey's end, and I found the +house a beautiful one and large enough to lodge the whole court of a +prince of the Holy Roman Empire. Besides the hall, which I thought +magnificent, I noted with great pleasure a closet arranged as a +boudoir, and covered with the most exquisite pictures. A fine +garden, fountains, baths, several well-furnished rooms, a good +kitchen--in a word, everything pleased me, and I begged M.---- to +arrange for me to take up my abode there in two days' time. + +When we got back to Soleure, Madame told me how pleased she was that +I liked the house; and seizing the opportunity, I said that I hoped +they would often do me the honour of dining with me. They promised +they would do so. I drew from my pocket a packet containing a +hundred louis, which I gave M.---- to pay the rent. I then embraced +him, and after imprinting a respectful kiss on the hand of his fair +mate I went to M. de Chavigni, who approved of my having taken the +house as it pleased my lady, and asked me if it was true that I was +going to give a ball. + +"Yes, if I see any prospect of its being a brilliant one, and if I +have your approbation." + +"You need have no doubts on that point, my dear fellow, and whatever +you can't find in the shops come to me for. Come, I see you are +going to spend a little money. It is a good plan, and overcomes many +difficulties. In the meanwhile you shall have two footmen, an +excellent cook, a housekeeper, and whatever other servants you +require. The head of my household will pay them, and you can settle +with him afterwards, he is a trustworthy man. I will come now and +then and take a spoonful of soup with you, and you shall reward me +for what services I may have done you by telling me how things are +getting on. I have a great esteem for your charming friend, her +discretion is beyond her years, and the pledges of love you will +obtain of her will doubtless increase your passion and your esteem. +Is she aware that I know all?" + +"She knows that we are firm friends, and she is glad of it, as she is +sure that you will be discreet." + +"She may count on my discretion. She is really a delicious woman; I +should have been tempted to seduce her myself thirty years ago." + +A druggist, whom the doctor had recommended to me, set out the same +day to get ready the baths which were to cure me of my imaginary +complaint, and in two days I went myself, after having given Le Duc +orders to bring my baggage on. + +I was extremely surprised, on entering the apartment I was to occupy, +to see a pretty young woman who came up to me in a modest way to kiss +my hand. I stopped her doing so, and my astonished air made her +blush. + +"Do you belong to the household?" I said. + +"The ambassador's steward has engaged me as your housekeeper." + +"Pardon my surprise. Take me to my room." + +She obeyed, and sitting down on the couch I begged her to sit beside +me. + +"That is an honour," said she, in the most polite and modest way, +"I cannot allow myself. I am only your servant." + +"Very good, but when I am alone I hope you will consent to take your +meals with me, as I don't like eating by myself." + +"I will do so, sir." + +"Where is your room?" + +"This is the one the steward assigned to me, but you have only to +speak if you wish me to sleep in another." + +"Not at all; it will do very well." + +Her room was just behind the recess in which my bed stood. I went in +with her and was astonished to see a great display of dresses, and in +an adjoining closet all the array of the toilette, linen in +abundance, and a good stock of shoes and embroidered slippers. Dumb +with surprise I looked at her, and was thoroughly satisfied with what +I saw. Nevertheless I determined to subject her to a close +examination, as I thought her manners too interesting and her linen +too extensive for her to be a mere servant. All at once I was struck +with the idea that it might be a trick of the ambassador's, for a +fine woman, well educated, and aged twenty-four or at the most +twenty-five years, seemed to me more fitted to be my mistress than my +housekeeper. I therefore asked her if she knew the ambassador, and +what wages she was to receive. She replied that she only knew M. de +Chavigni by sight, and that the steward had promised her two louis a +month and her meals in her own room. + +"Where do you come from? What's your name?" + +"I come from Lyons; I am a widow, and my name is Dubois." + +"I am delighted to have you in my service. I shall see you again." + +She then left me, and I could not help thinking her a very +interesting woman, as her speech was as dignified as her appearance. +I went down to the kitchen and found the cook, an honest-looking +fellow, who told me his name was Rosier. I had known his brother in +the service of the French ambassador at Venice. He told me that +supper would be ready at nine o'clock. + +"I never eat by myself," said I. + +"So I hear, sir; and I will serve supper accordingly." + +"What are your wages?" + +"Four louis a month." + +I then went to see the rest of my people. I found two sharp-looking +footmen, and the first of them told me he would see I had what wine I +wanted. Then I inspected my bath, which seemed convenient. An +apothecary was preparing certain matters for my imaginary cure. +Finally, I took a walk round my garden, and before going in I went +into the gate-keeper's, where I found a numerous family, and some +girls who were not to be despised. I was delighted to hear everybody +speak French, and I talked with them some time. + +When I got back to my room, I found Le Duc occupied in unpacking my +mails; and telling him to give my linen to Madame Dubois, I went into +a pretty cabinet adjoining, where there was a desk and all materials +necessary for writing. This closet had only one window facing north, +but it commanded a view capable of inspiring the finest thoughts. I +was amusing myself with the contemplation of this sublime prospect, +when I heard a knock at my door. It was my pretty housekeeper, who +wore a modest and pleasant expression, and did not in the least +resemble a person who bears a complaint. + +"What can I do for you, madam?" + +"I hope you will be good enough to order your man to be polite to +me?" + +"Certainly; how has he failed in politeness?" + +"He might possibly tell you in no respect. He wanted to kiss me, and +as I refused he thought himself justified in being rather insolent." + +"How?" + +"By laughing at me. You will pardon me, sir, but I do not like +people who make game." + +"You are right; they are sure to be either silly or malicious. Make +yourself easy; Le Duc shall understand that you are to be treated +with respect. You will please sup with me." + +Le Duc came in soon after, and I told him to behave respectfully +towards Madame Dubois. + +"She's a sly cat," said the rascal; "she wouldn't let me kiss her." + +"I am afraid you are a bad fellow." + +"Is she your servant or your mistress?" + +"She might be my wife." + +"Oh! well, that's different. That will do; Madame Dubois shall have +all respect, and I will try my luck somewhere else." + +I had a delicious supper. I was contented with my cook, my butler, +my housekeeper, and even with my Spaniard, who waited capitally at +table. + +After supper I sent out Le Duc and the other servant, and as soon as +I was alone with my too lovely housekeeper, who had behaved at table +like a woman of the world, I begged her to tell me her history. + +"My history, sir, is short enough, and not very interesting. I was-- +born at Lyons, and my relations took me to Lausanne, as I have been +told, for I was too young at the time to remember anything about it. +My father, who was in the service of Madame d'Ermance, left me an +orphan when I was fourteen. Madame d'Ermance was fond of me, and +knowing that my mother's means were small she took me to live with +her. I had attained my seventeenth year when I entered the service +of Lady Montagu as lady's maid, and some time after I was married to +Dubois, an old servant of the house. We went to England, and three +years after my marriage I lost my husband. The climate of England +affected my lungs, and I was obliged to beg my lady to allow me to +leave her service. The worthy lady saw how weak I was, and paid the +expenses of my journey and loaded me with rich presents. I returned +to my mother at Lausanne, where my health soon returned, and I went +into the service of an English lady who was very fond of me, and +would have taken me with her to Italy if she had not conceived some +suspicions about the young Duke of Rosebury, with whom she was in +love, and whom she thought in love with me. She suspected me, but +wrongfully, of being her rival in secret. She sent me away, after +giving me rich presents, and saying how sorry she was she could not +keep me. I went back to my mother, and for two years I have lived +with the toil of my hands. Four days ago M. Lebel, the ambassador's +steward, asked me if I would enter the service of an Italian +gentleman as housekeeper. I agreed, in the hope of seeing Italy, and +this hope is the cause of my stupidity. In short: here I am." + +"What stupidity are you referring to?" + +"The stupidity of having entered your service before I knew you." + +"I like your freedom. You would not have come, then, if you had not +known me?" + +"Certainly not, for no lady will ever take me after having been with +you." + +"Why not? may I ask." + +"Well, sir; do you think you are the kind of man to have a house- +keeper like myself without the public believing my situation to be of +quite a different nature?" + +"No, you are too pretty, and I don't look like a fossil, certainly; +but after all, what matter does it make?" + +"It is all very well for you to make light of it, and if I were in +your place I would do the same; but how am I, who am a woman and not +in an independent position, to set myself above the rules and +regulations of society?" + +"You mean, Madame Dubois, that you would very much like to go back to +Lausanne?" + +"Not exactly, as that would not be just to you." + +"How so?" + +"People would be sure to say that either your words or your deeds +were too free, and you might possibly pass a rather uncharitable +judgment on me." + +"What judgment could I pass on you?" + +"You might think I wanted to impose on you." + +"That might be, as I should be very much hurt by so sudden and +uncalled-for a departure. All the same I am sorry for you, as with +your ideas you can neither go nor stay with any satisfaction. +Nevertheless, you must do one or the other." + +"I have made up my mind. I shall stay, and I am almost certain I +shall not regret it." + +"I am glad to hear that, but there is one point to which I wish to +call your attention." + +"What is that?" + +"I will tell you. Let us have no melancholy and no scruples." + +"You shall not see me melancholy, I promise you; but kindly explain +what you mean by the word 'scruples.'" + +"Certainly. In its ordinary acceptation, the word 'scruple' +signifies a malicious and superstitious whim, which pronounces an +action which may be innocent to be guilty." + +"When a course of action seems doubtful to me, I never look upon the +worst side of it. Besides, it is my duty to look after myself and +not other people." + +"I see you have read a good deal." + +"Reading is my greatest luxury. Without books I should find life +unbearable." + +"Have you any books?" + +"A good many. Do you understand English?" + +"Not a word." + +"I am sorry for that, as the English books would amuse you." + +"I do not care for romances." + +"Nor do I. But you don't think that there are only romances in +English, do you? I like that. Why do you take me for such a lover +of the romantic, pray?" + +"I like that, too. That pretty outburst is quite to my taste, and I +am delighted to be the first to make you laugh." + +"Pardon me if I laugh, but . . ." + +"But me no buts, my dear; laugh away just as you like, you will find +that the best way to get over me. I really think, though, that you +put your services at too cheap a rate." + +"That makes me laugh again, as it is for you to increase my wages if +you like." + +"I shall take care that it is done." + +I rose from table, not taken, but surprised, with this young woman, +who seemed to be getting on my blind side. She reasoned well, and in +this first interview she had made a deep impression on me. She was +young, pretty, elegant, intellectual, and of distinguished manners; I +could not guess what would be the end of our connection. I longed to +speak to M. Lebel, to thank him for getting me such a marvel, and +still more, to ask him some questions about her. + +After the supper had been taken away, she came to ask if I would have +my hair put in curl papers. + +"It's Le Duc's business," I answered, "but if you like, it shall be +yours for the future." + +She acquitted herself like an expert. + +"I see," said I, "that you are going to serve me as you served Lady +Montagu." + +"Not altogether; but as you do not like melancholy, allow me to ask a +favour." + +"Do so, my dear." + +"Please do not ask me to give you your bath." + +"Upon my honour, I did not think of doing so. It would be +scandalous. That's Le Duc's business." + +"Pardon me, and allow me to ask another favour." + +"Tell me everything you want." + +"Allow me to have one of the door-keeper's daughters to sleep with +me." + +"If it had come into my head, I would have proposed it to you. Is +she in your room now?" + +"No." + +"Go and call her, then." + +"Let us leave that till to-morrow, as if I went at this time of night +it might make people talk." + +"I see you have a store of discretion, and you may be sure I will not +deprive you of any of it." + +She helped me to undress, and must have found me very modest, but I +must say it was not from virtue. My heart was engaged elsewhere, and +Madame Dubois had impressed me; I was possibly duped by her, but I +did not trouble myself to think whether I was or not. I rang for Le +Duc in the morning, and on coming in he said he had not expected the +honour. + +"You're a rascal," I said, "get two cups of chocolate ready directly +after I have had my bath." + +After I had taken my first cold bath, which I greatly enjoyed, I went +to bed again. Madame Dubois came in smiling, dressed in a style of +careless elegance. + +"You look in good spirits." + +"I am, because I am happy with you. I have had a good night, and +there is now in my room a girl as lovely as an angel, who is to sleep +with me." + +"Call her in." + +She called her, and a monster of ugliness entered, who made me turn +my head away. + +"You haven't given yourself a rival certainly, my dear, but if she +suits you it is all right. You shall have your breakfast with me, +and I hope you will take chocolate with me every morning." + +"I shall be delighted, as I am very fond of it." + +I had a pleasant afternoon. M. de Chavigni spent several hours with +me. He was pleased with everything, and above all with my fair +housekeeper, of whom Lebel had said nothing to him. + +"She will be an excellent cure for your love for Madame," said he. + +"There you are wrong," I answered, "she might make me fall in love +with her without any diminution of my affection for my charmer." + +Next day, just as I was sitting down to table with my housekeeper, I +saw a carriage coming into the courtyard, and my detestable lame +widow getting out of it. I was terribly put out, but the rules of +politeness compelled me to go and receive her. + +"I was far from anticipating that you would do me so great an honour, +madam." + +"I daresay; I have come to dine with you, and to ask you to do me a +favour." + +"Come in, then, dinner is just being served. I beg to introduce +Madame Dubois to you." + +I turned towards my charming housekeeper, and told her that the lady +would dine with us. + +Madame Dubois, in the character of mistress of the house, did the +honours admirably, and my lame friend, in spite of her pride, was +very polite to her. I did not speak a dozen words during the meal, +and paid no sort of attention to the detestable creature; but I was +anxious to know what she could want me to do for her. As soon as +Madame Dubois had left the room she told me straight out that she had +come to ask me to let her have a couple of rooms in my house for +three weeks or a month at the most. + +I was astonished at such a piece of impudence, and told her she asked +more than I was at liberty to give. + +"You can't refuse me, as everybody knows I have come on purpose to +ask you." + +"Then everybody must know that I have refused you. I want to be +alone--absolutely alone, without any kind of restriction on my +liberty. The least suspicion of company would bore me." + +"I shall not bore you in any way, and you will be at perfect liberty +to ignore my presence. I shall not be offended if you don't enquire +after me, and I shall not ask after you--even if you are ill. I +shall have my meals served to me by my own servant, and I shall take +care not to walk in the garden unless I am perfectly certain you are +not there. You must allow that if you have any claims to politeness +you cannot refuse me." + +"If you were acquainted with the most ordinary rules of politeness, +madam, you would not persist in a request to which I have formally +declined to accede." + +She did not answer, but my words had evidently produced no effect. +I was choking with rage. I strode up and down the room, and felt +inclined to send her away by force as a madwoman. However, I +reflected that she had relations in a good position whom I might +offend if I treated her roughly, and that I might make an enemy +capable of exacting a terrible revenge; and, finally, that Madame +might disapprove of my using violence to this hideous harpy.... + +"Well, madam," said I, "you shall have the apartment you have +solicited with so much importunity, and an hour after you come in I +shall be on my way back to Soleure." + +"I accept the apartment, and I shall occupy it the day after to- +morrow. As for your threat of returning to Soleure, it is an idle +one, as you would thereby make yourself the laughing-stock of the +whole town." + +With this final impertinence she rose and went away, without taking +any further notice of me. I let her go without moving from my seat. +I was stupefied. I repented of having given in; such impudence was +unparalleled. I called myself a fool, and vowed I deserved to be +publicly hooted. I ought to have taken the whole thing as a jest; to +have contrived to get her out of the house on some pretext, and then +to have sent her about her business as a madwoman, calling all my +servants as witnesses. + +My dear Dubois came in, and I told my tale. She was thunderstruck. + +"I can hardly credit her requesting, or your granting, such a thing," +said she, "unless you have some motives of your own." + +I saw the force of her argument, and not wishing to make a confidante +of her I held my tongue, and went out to work off my bile. + +I came in tired, after taking a stiff walk. I took supper with +Madame Dubois, and we sat at table till midnight. Her conversation +pleased me more and more; her mind was well-furnished, her speech +elegant, and she told her stories and cracked her jokes with charming +grace. She was devoid of prejudices, but by no means devoid of +principle. Her discretion was rather the result of system than of +virtue; but if she had not a virtuous spirit, her system would not +have shielded her from the storms of passion or the seductions of +vice. + +My encounter with the impudent widow had so affected me that I could +not resist going at an early hour on the following day to communicate +it to M. de Chavigni. I warned Madame Dubois that if I were not back +by dinner-time she was not to wait for me. + +M. de Chavigni had been told by my enemy that she was going to pay me +a visit, but he roared with laughter on hearing the steps she had +taken to gain her ends. + +"Your excellency may find it very funny," said I, "but I don't." + +"So I see; but take my advice, and be the first to laugh at the +adventure. Behave as if you were unaware of her presence, and that +will be a sufficient punishment for her. People will soon say she is +smitten with you, and that you disdain her love. Go and tell the +story to M.----, and stay without ceremony to dinner. I have spoken +to Lebel about your pretty housekeeper: the worthy man had no +malicious intent in sending her to you. He happened to be going to +Lausanne, and just before, I had told him to find you a good +housekeeper; thinking it over on his way, he remembered his friend +Madame Dubois, and the matter was thus arranged without malice or +pretense. She is a regular find, a perfect jewel for you, and if you +get taken with her I don't think she will allow you to languish for +long." + +"I don't know, she seems to be a woman of principle." + +"I shouldn't have thought you would be taken in by that sort of +thing. I will ask you both to give me a dinner to-morrow, and shall +be glad to hear her chatter." + +M---- welcomed me most kindly, and congratulated me on my conquest, +which would make my country house a paradise. I joined in the jest, +of course, with the more ease that his charming wife, though I could +see that she suspected the truth, added her congratulations to those +of her husband; but I soon changed the course of their friendly mirth +by telling them the circumstances of the case. They were indignant +enough then, and the husband said that if she had really quartered +herself on me in that fashion, all I had to do was to get an +injunction from the courts forbidding her to put her foot within my +doors. + +"I don't want to do that," said I, "as besides publicly disgracing +her I should be skewing my own weakness, and proclaiming that I was +not the master in my own house, and that I could not prevent her +establishing herself with me." + +"I think so, too," said the wife, "and I am glad you gave way to her. +That shews how polite you are, and I shall go and call on her to +congratulate her on the welcome she got, as she told me that her +plans had succeeded." + +Here the matter ended, and I accepted their invitation to dine with +them. I behaved as a friend, but with that subtle politeness which +takes away all ground for suspicion; accordingly, the husband felt no +alarm. My charmer found the opportunity to tell me that I had done +wisely in yielding to the ill-timed demand of that harpy, and that as +soon as M. de Chauvelin, whom they were expecting, had gone away +again, I could ask her husband to spend a few days with me, and that +she would doubtless come too. + +"Your door-keeper's wife," she added, "was my nurse. I have been +kind to her, and when necessary I can write to you by her without +running any risk." + +After calling on two Italian Jesuits who were passing through +Soleure, and inviting them to dine with me on the following day, I +returned home where the good Dubois amused me till midnight by +philosophical discussions. She admired Locke; and maintained that +the faculty of thought was not a proof of the existence of spirit in +us, as it was in the power of God to endow matter with the capacity +for thought; I was unable to controvert this position. She made me +laugh by saying that there was a great difference between thinking +and reasoning, and I had the courage to say,-- + +"I think you would reason well if you let yourself be persuaded to +sleep with me, and you think you reason well in refusing to be so +persuaded." + +"Trust me, sir," said she; "there is as much difference between the +reasoning powers of men and women as there is between their physical +characteristics." + +Next morning at nine o'clock we were taking our chocolate, when my +enemy arrived. I heard her carriage, but I did not take the +slightest notice. The villainous woman sent away the carriage and +installed herself in her room with her maid. + +I had sent Le Duc to Soleure for my letters, so I was obliged to beg +my housekeeper to do my hair; and she did it admirably, as I told her +we should have the ambassador and the two Jesuits to dinner. I +thanked her, and kissed her for the first time on the cheek, as she +would not allow me to touch her beautiful lips. I felt that we were +fast falling in love with one another, but we continued to keep +ourselves under control, a task which was much easier for her than +for me, as she was helped by that spirit of coquetry natural to the +fair sex, which often has greater power over them than love itself. + +M. de Chavigni came at two; I had consulted him before asking the +Jesuits, and had sent my carriage for them. While we were waiting +for these gentlemen we took a turn in the garden, and M. de Chavigni +begged my fair housekeeper to join us as soon as she had discharged +certain petty duties in which she was then engaged. + +M. de Chavigni was one of those men who were sent by France to such +powers as she wished to cajole and to win over to her interests. +M. de l'Hopital, who knew how to gain the heart of Elizabeth +Petrovna, was another; the Duc de Nivernois, who did what he liked +with the Court of St. James's in 1762, is a third instance. + +Madame Dubois came out to us in due course, and entertained us very +agreeably; and M. de Chavigni told me that he considered she had all +the qualities which would make a man happy. At dinner she enchanted +him and captivated the two Jesuits by her delicate and subtle wit. +In the evening this delightful old nobleman told me he had spent a +most pleasant day, and after asking me to dine at his house while M. +de Chauvelin was there, he left me with an effusive embrace. + +M. de Chauvelin, whom I had the honour to know at Versailles, at M. +de Choiseul's, was an extremely pleasant man. He arrived at Soleure +in the course of two days, and M. de Chavigni having advised me of +his presence I hastened to pay my court to him. He remembered me, +and introduced me to his wife, whom I had not the honour of knowing. +As chance placed me next to my charmer at table, my spirits rose, and +my numerous jests and stories put everybody in a good temper. On M. +de Chauvelin remarking that he knew some pleasant histories of which +I was the hero, M. de Chavigni told him that he did not know the best +of all, and recounted to him my adventure at Zurich. M. de Chauvelin +then told Madame that to serve her he would willingly transform +himself into a footman, on which M. ---- joined in and said that I +had a finer taste for beauty, as she, for whose sake I had made +myself into a waiter, was at that moment a guest of mine in my +country house. + +"Ah, indeed!" said M. de Chauvelin, "then we must come and see your +quarters, M. Casanova." + +I was going to reply, when M. de Chavigni anticipated me by saying, + +"Yes, indeed! and I hope he will lend me his beautiful hall to give +you a ball next Sunday." + +In this manner the good-natured courtier prevented me from promising +to give a ball myself, and relieved me of my foolish boast, which I +should have been wrong in carrying out, as it would have been an +encroachment on his privilege as ambassador of entertaining these +distinguished strangers during the five or six days they might stay +at Soleure. Besides, if I had kept to my word, it would have +involved me in a considerable expense, which would not have helped me +in my suit. + +The conversation turning on Voltaire, the Ecossaise was mentioned, +and the acting of my neighbour was highly commended in words that +made her blush and shine in her beauty like a star, whereat her +praises were renewed. + +After dinner the ambassador invited us to his ball on the day after +the morrow, and I went home more deeply in love than ever with my +dear charmer, whom Heaven had designed to inflict on me the greatest +grief I have had in my life, as the reader shall see. + +I found that my housekeeper had gone to bed, and I was glad of it, +for the presence of my fair one had excited my passions to such an +extent that my reason might have failed to keep me within the bounds +of respect. Next morning she found me sad, and rallied me in such a +way that I soon recovered my spirits. While we were taking our +chocolate the lame creature's maid brought me a note, and I sent her +away, telling her that I would send the answer by my own servant. +This curious letter ran as follows: + +"The ambassador has asked me to his ball on Sunday. I answered that +I was not well, but if I found myself better in the evening I would +come. I think that as I am staying in your house I ought to be +introduced by you or stay away altogether. So if you do not wish to +oblige me by taking me, I must beg of you to tell the ambassador that +I am ill. Pardon me if I have taken the liberty of infringing our +agreement in this peculiar instance, but it is a question of keeping +up some sort of appearance in public." + +"Not so," I cried, mad with rage; and taking my pen I wrote thus: + +"I think your idea is a beautiful one, madam. You will have to be +ill, as I mean to keep to the conditions you made yourself, and to +enjoy full liberty in all things, and I shall therefore deny myself +the honour of taking you to the ball which the ambassador is to give +in my hall." + +I read her insolent letter and my reply to my housekeeper, who +thought the answer just what she deserved. I then sent it to her. + +I passed the next two days quietly and agreeably without going out or +seeing any visitors, but the society of Madame Dubois was all- +sufficient for me. Early on Sunday morning the ambassador's people +came to make the necessary preparations for the ball and supper. +Lebel came to pay me his respects while I was at table. I made him +sit down, while I thanked him for procuring me a housekeeper who was +all perfection. + +Lebel was a fine man, middle-aged, witty, and an excellent steward, +though perfectly honest. + +"Which of you two," said he to me, "is the most taken in?" + +"We are equally pleased with each other," answered my charming +housekeeper. + +To my great delight the first pair to appear were M.---- and Madame. +She was extremely polite to Madame Dubois, and did not shew the +slightest astonishment when I introduced her as my housekeeper. She +told me that I must take her to see her lame friend, and to my great +disgust I had to go. We were received with a show of great +friendship, and she went out with us into the garden, taking M.----'s +arm, while his wife leant amorously on mine. + +When we had made a few turns of the garden, Madame begged me to take +her to her nurse. As her husband was close by, I said,-- + +"Who is your nurse?" + +"Your door-keeper's wife," said her husband, "we will wait for you in +this lady's apartment." + +"Tell me, sweetheart," said she on the way, "does not your pretty +housekeeper sleep with you?" + +"I swear she does not; I can only love you." + +"I would like to believe you, but I find it hard to do so; however, +if you are speaking the truth it is wrong of you to keep her in the +house, as nobody will believe in your innocence." + +"It is enough for me that you believe in it. I admire her, and at +any other time I expect we could not sleep under the same roof +without sleeping in the same bed; but now that you rule my heart I am +not capable of a passion for her." + +"I am delighted to hear it; but I think she is very pretty." + +We went in to see her nurse, who called her "my child," and kissed +her again and again, and then left us alone to prepare some lemonade +for us. As soon as we found ourselves alone our mouths were glued +together, and my hands touched a thousand beauties, covered only by a +dress of light sarcenet; but I could not enjoy her charms without +this cruel robe, which was all the worse because it did not conceal +the loveliness beneath it. I am sure that the good nurse would have +kept us waiting a long time if she had known how we longed to be left +alone for a few moments longer; but, alas! the celerity with which +she made those two glasses of lemonade was unexampled. + +"It was made beforehand, was it?" said I, when I saw her coming in. + +"Not at all, sir; but I am a quick hand." + +"You are, indeed." + +These words made my charmer go off into a peal of laughter, which she +accompanied with a significant glance in my direction. As we were +going away she said that as things seemed to be against us we must +wait till her husband came to spend a few days with me. + +My terrible enemy gave us some sweets, which she praised very highly, +and above all some quince marmalade, which she insisted on our +testing. We begged to be excused, and Madame pressed my foot with +hers. When we had got away she told me I had been very wise not to +touch anything, as the widow was suspected of having poisoned her +husband. + +The ball, the supper, the refreshments, and the guests were all of +the most exquisite and agreeable kind. I only danced one minuet with +Madame de Chauvelin, nearly all my evening being taken up with +talking to her husband. I made him a present of my translation of +his poem on the seven deadly sins, which he received with much +pleasure. + +"I intend," said I, "to pay you a visit at Turin." + +"Are you going to bring your housekeeper with you?" + +"No." + +"You are wrong, for she is a delightful person." + +Everybody spoke of my dear Dubois in the same way. She had a perfect +knowledge of the rules of good breeding, and she knew how to make +herself respected without being guilty of the slightest presumption. +In vain she was urged to dance, and she afterwards told me that if +she had yielded she would have become an object of hatred to all the +ladies. She knew that she could dance exquisitely. + +M. de Chauvelin went away in two days, and towards the end of the +week I heard from Madame d'Urfe, who told me that she had spent two +days at Versailles in furtherance of my desires. She sent me a copy +of the letters of pardon signed by the king in favour of the relation +of M.----, assuring me that the original had been sent to the colonel +of his regiment, where he would be reinstated in the rank which he +held before the duel. + +I had my horses put into my carriage, and hastened to carry this good +news to M. de Chavigni. I was wild with joy, and I did not conceal +it from the ambassador, who congratulated me, since M.---- having +obtained by me, without the expenditure of a penny, a favour which +would have cost him dear if he had succeeded in purchasing it, would +henceforth be only too happy to treat me with the utmost confidence. + +To make the matter still more important, I begged my noble friend to +announce the pardon to M.---- in person, and he immediately wrote a +note to that gentleman requesting his presence. + +As soon as he made his appearance, the ambassador handed him the copy +of the pardon, telling him that he owed it all to me. The worthy man +was in an ecstasy, and asked what he owed me. + +"Nothing, sir, unless you will give me your friendship, which I value +more than all the gold in the world; and if you would give me a proof +of your friendship, come and spend a few days with me; I am +positively dying of loneliness. The matter I have done for you is a +mere trifle; you see how quickly it has been arranged." + +"A mere trifle! I have devoted a year's labour to it; I have moved +heaven and earth without succeeding, and in a fortnight you have +accomplished it. Sir, you may dispose of my life." + +"Embrace me, and come and see me. I am the happiest of men when I am +enabled to serve persons of your merit." + +"I will go and tell the good news to my wife, who will love you as +well as I do." + +"Yes, do so," said the ambassador, "and bring her to dinner here to- +morrow." + +When we were alone together, the Marquis de Chavigni, an old courtier +and a wit, began to make some very philosophical reflections on the, +state of a court where nothing can be said to be easy or difficult +per se, as the one at a moment's notice may become the other; a court +where justice often pleads in vain, while interest or even +importunity get a ready hearing. He had known Madame d'Urfe, had +even paid his court to her at the period when she was secretly +beloved by the regent. He it was who had given her the name of +Egeria, because she said she had a genius who directed her and passed +the nights with her when she slept by herself. The ambassador then +spoke of M.----, who had undoubtedly become a very great friend of +mine. + +"The only way to blind a jealous husband," said he, "is to make him +your friend, for friendship will rarely admit jealousy." + +The next day at dinner, at the ambassador's, Madame gave me a +thousand proofs of grateful friendship, which my heart interpreted as +pledges of love. The husband and wife promised to pay me a three +days' visit in the following week at my country house. + +They kept their word without giving me any further warning, but I was +not taken by surprise as I had made all preparations for their +reception. + +My heart leapt with joy on seeing my charmer getting down from the +carriage, but my joy was not unalloyed, as the husband told me that +they must absolutely return on the fourth day, and the wife insisted +on the horrible widow being present at all our conversation. + +I took my guests to the suite of rooms I had prepared for them, and +which I judged most suitable for my designs. It was on the ground +floor, opposite to my room. The bedroom had a recess with two beds, +separated by a partition through which one passed by a door. I had +the key to all the doors, and the maid would sleep in a closet beyond +the ante-chamber. + +In obedience to my divinity's commands we went and called on the +widow, who gave us a cordial welcome; but under the pretext of +leaving us in freedom refused to be of our company during the three +days. However, she gave in when I told her that our agreement was +only in force when I was alone. + +My dear Dubois, with her knowledge of the rules of society, did not +need a hint to have her supper in her room, and we had an exquisite +meal as I had given orders that the fare should be of the best. +After supper I took my guests to their apartment, and felt obliged to +do the same by the widow. She wanted me to assist at her toilet, but +I excused myself with a bow. She said, maliciously, that after all +the pains I had taken I deserved to be successful. I gave her no +answer. + +Next morning, as we were walking in the garden, I warned my charmer +that I had all the keys of the house, and that I could introduce +myself into her room at any moment. + +"I am waiting," said she, "for my husband's embraces, which he has +prefaced with caresses, as is usual with him. We must therefore wait +till the night after next, which will take away all risk, as I have +never known him to embrace me for two nights in succession." + +About noon we had a visit from M. de Chavigni, who came to ask for +dinner, and made a great to-do when he heard that my housekeeper +dined in her room. The ladies said he was quite right, so we all +went and made her sit down at table with us. She must have been +flattered, and the incident evidently increased her good humour, as +she amused us by her wit and her piquant stories about Lady Montagu. +When we had risen from table Madame said to me,-- + +"You really must be in love with that young woman; she is ravishing." + +"If I could pass two hours in your company to-night, I would prove to +you that I am yours alone." + +"It is still out of the question, as my husband has ascertained that +the moon changes to-day." + +"He has to ask leave of the moon, has he, before discharging so sweet +a duty?" + +"Exactly. According to his system of astrology, it is the only way +to keep his health and to have the son that Heaven wills to grant +him, and indeed without aid from above it is hardly likely that his +wishes will be accomplished." + +"I hope to be the instrument of Heaven," said I, laughing. + +"I only hope you may." + +Thus I was obliged to wait. Next morning, as we were walking in the +garden, she said to me,-- + +"The sacrifice to the moon has been performed, and to make sure I +will cause him to renew his caresses tonight as soon as we go to bed; +and after that he is certain to sleep soundly. You can come at an +hour after midnight; love will await you." + +Certain of my bliss, I gave myself up to the joy that such a +certainty kindles in a fiery heart. It was the only night remaining, +as M.---- had decided that on the next day they would return to +Soleure. + +After supper I took the ladies to their apartments, and on returning +told my housekeeper that I had a good deal of writing to do, and that +she should go to bed. + +Just before one o'clock I left my room, and the night being a dark +one I had to feel my way half round my house, and to my surprise +found the door open; but I did not pay any attention to this +circumstance. I opened the door of the second ante-chamber, and the +moment I shut it again a hand seized mine, whilst another closed my +lips. I only heard a whispered "hush!" which bade me silent. A sofa +was at hand; we made it our altar of sacrifice, and in a moment I was +within the temple of love. It was summer time and I had only two +hours before me, so I did not lose a moment, and thinking I held +between my arms the woman I had so long sighed for I renewed again +and again the pledges of my ardent love. In the fulness of my bliss +I thought her not awaiting me in her bed an admirable idea, as the +noise of our kisses and the liveliness of our motions might have +awakened the troublesome husband. Her tender ecstasies equalled +mine, and increased my bliss by making me believe (oh, fatal error!) +that of all my conquests this was the one of which I had most reason +to boast. + +To my great grief the clock warned me that it was time for me to be +gone. I covered her with the tenderest kisses, and returning to my +room, in the greatest gladness, I resigned myself to sleep. + +I was roused at nine o'clock by M.----, who seemed in a happy frame +of mind, and shewed me a letter he had just received, in which his +relative thanked me for restoring him to his regiment. In this +letter, which was dictated by gratitude, he spoke of me as if I had +been a divinity. + +"I am delighted," I said, "to have been of service to you." + +"And I," said he, "am equally pleased to assure you of my gratitude. +Come and breakfast with us, my wife is still at her toilette. Come +along." + +I rose hastily, and just as I was leaving the room I saw the dreadful +widow, who seemed full of glee, and said,-- + +"I thank you, sir; I thank you with all my heart. I beg to leave you +at liberty again; I am going back to Soleure." + +"Wait for a quarter of an hour, we are going to breakfast with +Madame." + +"I can't stop a moment, I have just wished her good day, and now I +must be gone. Farewell, and remember me." + +"Farewell, madam." + +She had hardly gone before M.---- asked me if the woman was beside +herself. + +"One might think so, certainly," I replied, "for she has received +nothing but politeness at my hands, and I think she might have waited +to go back with you in the evening." + +We went to breakfast and to discuss this abrupt leave-taking, and +afterwards we took a turn in the garden where we found Madame Dubois. +M.---- took possession of her; and as I thought his wife looking +rather downcast I asked her if she had not slept well. + +"I did not go to sleep till four o'clock this morning," she replied, +"after vainly sitting up in bed waiting for you till that time. What +unforeseen accident prevented your coming?" + +I could not answer her question. I was petrified. I looked at her +fixedly without replying; I could not shake off my astonishment. At +last a dreadful suspicion came into my head that I had held within my +arms for two hours the horrible monster whom I had foolishly received +in my house. I was seized with a terrible tremor, which obliged me +to go and take shelter behind the arbour and hide my emotion. I felt +as though I should swoon away. I should certainly have fallen if I +had not rested my head against a tree. + +My first idea had been a fearful thought, which I hastened to repel, +that Madame, having enjoyed me, wished to deny all knowledge of the +fact--a device which is in the power of any woman who gives up her +person in the dark to adopt, as it is impossible to convict her of +lying. However, I knew the divine creature I had thought I possessed +too well to believe her capable of such base deceit. I felt that she +would have been lacking in delicacy, if she had said she had waited +for me in vain by way of a jest; as in such a case as this the least +doubt is a degradation. I was forced, then, to the conclusion that +she had been supplanted by the infernal widow. How had she managed +it? How had she ascertained our arrangements? I could not +imagine, and I bewildered myself with painful surmises. Reason only +comes to the aid of the mind when the confusion produced by painful +thoughts has almost vanished. I concluded, then, that I had spent +two hours with this abominable monster; and what increased my +anguish, and made me loathe and despise myself still more, was that I +could not help confessing that I had been perfectly happy. It was an +unpardonable mistake, as the two women differed as much as white does +from black, and though the darkness forbade my seeing, and the +silence my hearing, my sense of touch should have enlightened me-- +after the first set-to, at all events, but my imagination was in a +state of ecstasy. I cursed love, my nature, and above all the +inconceivable weakness which had allowed me to receive into my house +the serpent that had deprived me of an angel, and made me hate myself +at the thought of having defiled myself with her. I resolved to die, +after having torn to pieces with my own hands the monster who had +made me so unhappy. + +While I was strengthening myself in this resolution M.---- came up to +me and asked me kindly if I were ill; he was alarmed to see me pale +and covered with drops of sweat. "My wife," said the worthy man, +"is uneasy about you, and sent me to look after you." I told him I +had to leave her on account of a sudden dizziness, but that I began +to feel better. "Let us rejoin her." Madame Dubois brought me a +flask of strong waters, saying pleasantly that she was sure it was +only the sudden departure of the widow that had put me out. + +We continued our walk, and when we were far enough from the husband, +who was with my housekeeper, I said I had been overcome by what she +had said, but that it had doubtless been spoken jestingly. + +"I was not jesting at all," said she, with a sigh, "tell me what +prevented your coming." + +Again I was struck dumb. I could not make up my mind to tell her the +story, and I did not know what to say to justify myself. I was +silent and confused when my housekeeper's little servant came up and +gave me a letter which the wretched widow had sent her by an express. +She had opened it, and found an enclosure addressed to me inside. I +put it in my pocket, saying I would read it at my leisure. On Madame +saying in joke that it was a love-letter, I could not laugh, and made +no answer. The servant came to tell us that dinner was served, but I +could touch nothing. My abstinence was put down to my being unwell. + +I longed to read the letter, but I wished to be alone to do so, and +that was a difficult matter to contrive. + +Wishing to avoid the game of piquet which formed our usual +afternoon's amusement, I took a cup of coffee, and said that I +thought the fresh air would do me good. Madame seconded me, and +guessing what I wanted she asked me to walk up and down with her in a +sheltered alley in the garden. I offered her my arm, her husband +offered his to my housekeeper, and we went out. + +As soon as my mistress saw that we were free from observation, she +spoke as follows,-- + +"I am sure that you spent the night with that malicious woman, and I +am afraid of being compromised in consequence. Tell me everything; +confide in me without reserve; 'tis my first intrigue, and if it is +to serve as a lesson you should conceal nothing from me. I am sure +you loved me once, tell me that you have not become my enemy." + +"Good heavens! what are you saying? I your enemy!" + +"Then tell me all, and before you read that wretched creature's +letter. I adjure you in the name of love to hide nothing from me." + +"Well, divine creature, I will do as you bid me. I came to your +apartment at one o'clock, and as soon as I was in the second ante- +chamber, I was taken by the arm, and a hand was placed upon my lips +to impose silence; I thought I held you in my arms, and I laid you +gently on the sofa. You must remember that I felt absolutely certain +it was you; indeed, I can scarcely doubt it even now. I then passed +with you, without a word being spoken, two of the most delicious +hours I have ever experienced. Cursed hours! of which the +remembrance will torment me for the remainder of my days. I left you +at a quarter past three. The rest is known to you." + +"Who can have told the monster that you were going to visit me at +that hour?" + +"I can't make out, and that perplexes me." + +"You must confess that I am the most to be pitied of us three, and +perhaps, alas! the only one who may have a just title to the name +'wretched.'" + +"If you love me, in the name of Heaven do not say that; I have +resolved to stab her, and to kill myself after having inflicted on +her that punishment she so well deserves." + +"Have you considered that the publicity of such an action would +render me the most unfortunate of women? Let us be more moderate, +sweetheart; you are not to blame for what has happened, and if +possible I love you all the more. Give me the letter she has written +to you. I will go away from you to read it, and you can read it +afterwards, as if we were seen reading it together we should have to +explain matters." + +"Here it is." + +I then rejoined her husband, whom my housekeeper was sending into +fits of laughter. The conversation I had just had had calmed me a +little, and the trustful way in which she had asked for the letter +had done me good. I was in a fever to know the contents, and yet I +dreaded to read it, as it could only increase my rage and I was +afraid of the results. + +Madame rejoined us, and after we had separated again she gave me the +letter, telling me to keep it till I was alone. She asked me to give +her my word of honour to do nothing without consulting her, and to +communicate all my designs to her by means of her nurse. + +"We need not fear the harpy saying anything about it," she remarked, +"as she would first have to proclaim her own prostitution, and as for +us, concealment is the best plan. And I would have you note that the +horrible creature gives you a piece of advice you would do well to +follow." + +What completely tore my heart asunder during this interview was to +see great tears--tears of love and grief--falling from her beautiful +eyes; though to moderate my anguish she forced a smile. I knew too +well the importance she attached to her fair fame not to guess that +she was tormented with the idea that the terrible widow knew of the +understanding between us, and the thought added fresh poignancy to my +sorrow. + +This amiable pair left me at seven in the evening, and I thanked the +husband in such a manner that he could not doubt my sincerity, and, +in truth, I said no more than I felt. There is no reason why the +love one feels for a woman should hinder one from being the true +friend of her husband--if she have a husband. The contrary view is a +hateful prejudice, repugnant both to nature and to philosophy. After +I had embraced him I was about to kiss the hand of his charming wife, +but he begged me to embrace her too, which I did respectfully but +feelingly. + +I was impatient to read the terrible letter, and as soon as they were +gone I shut myself up in my room to prevent any interruptions. The +epistle was as follows: + +"I leave your house, sir, well enough pleased, not that I have spent +a couple of hours with you, for you are no better than any other man, +but that I have revenged myself on the many open marks of contempt +you have given me; for your private scorn I care little, and I +willingly forgive you. I have avenged myself by unmasking your +designs and the hypocrisy of your pretty prude, who will no longer be +able to treat me with that irritating air of superiority which she, +affecting a virtue which she does not possess, has displayed towards +me. I have avenged myself in the fact that she must have been +waiting for you all the night, and I would have given worlds to have +heard the amusing conversation you must have had when she found out +that I had taken for vengeance's sake, and not for love, the +enjoyment which was meant for her. I have avenged myself because you +can no longer pretend to think her a marvel of beauty, as having +mistaken me for her, the difference between us must needs be slight; +but I have done you a service, too, as the thought of what has +happened should cure you of your passion. You will no longer adore +her before all other women who are just as good as she. Thus I have +disabused you, and you ought to feel grateful to me; but I dispense +you from all gratitude, and do not care if you choose to hate me, +provided your hatred leaves me in peace; but if I find your conduct +objectionable in the future, I warn you that I will tell all, since I +do not care for my own fame as I am a widow and mistress of my own +actions. I need no man's favour, and care not what men may say of +me. Your mistress, on the other hand, is in quite a different +position. + +"And here I will give you a piece of advice, which should convince +you of my generosity. For the last ten years I have been troubled +with a little ailment which has resisted all attempts at treatment. +You exerted yourself to such an extent to prove how well you loved me +that you must have caught the complaint. I advise you, then, to put +yourself under treatment at once to weaken the force of the virus; +but above all do not communicate it to your mistress, who might +chance to hand it on to her husband and possibly to others, which +would make a wretched woman of her, to my grief and sorrow, since she +has never done me any harm. I felt certain that you two would +deceive the worthy husband, and I wished to have proof; thus I made +you take me in, and the position of the apartment you gave them was +enough to remove all doubts; still I wanted to have proof positive. +I had no need of any help to arrive at my ends, and I found it a +pleasant joke to keep you in the dark. After passing two nights on +the sofa all for nothing, I resolved on passing the third night +there, and my perseverance was crowned with success. No one saw me, +and my maid even is ignorant of my nocturnal wanderings, though in +any case she is accustomed to observe silence. You are, then, at +perfect liberty to bury the story in oblivion, and I advise you to do +so. + +"If you want a doctor, tell him to keep his counsel, for people at +Soleure know of my little indisposition, and they might say you +caught it from me, and this would do us both harm." + +Her impudence struck me so gigantic in its dimensions that I almost +laughed. I was perfectly aware that after the way I had treated her +she must hate me, but I should not have thought she would have +carried her perverse hatred so far. She had communicated to me an +infectious disease, though I did not so far feel any symptoms; +however, they would no doubt appear, and I sadly thought I should +have to go away to be cured, to avoid the gossip of malicious wits. +I gave myself up to reflection, and after two hours' thought I wisely +resolved to hold my tongue, but to be revenged when the opportunity +presented itself. + +I had eaten nothing at dinner, and needed a good supper to make me +sleep. I sat down to table with my housekeeper, but, like a man +ashamed of himself, I dared not look her in the face. + + + + +CHAPTER XVI + +Continuation of the Preceding Chapter--I Leave Soleure + + +When the servants had gone away and left us alone, it would have +looked strange if we had remained as dumb as two posts; but in my +state of mind I did not feel myself capable of breaking the silence. +My dear Dubois, who began to love me because I made her happy, felt +my melancholy react on herself, and tried to make me talk. + +"Your sadness," said she, "is not like you; it frightens me. You may +console yourself by telling me of your troubles, but do not imagine +that my curiosity springs from any unworthy motive, I only want to be +of service to you. You may rely on my being perfectly discreet; and +to encourage you to speak freely, and to give you that trust in me +which I think I deserve, I will tell you what I know and what I have +learnt about yourself. My knowledge has not been obtained by any +unworthy stratagems, or by a curiosity in affairs which do not +concern me." + +"I am pleased with what you say, my dear housekeeper. I see you are +my friend, and I am grateful to you. Tell me all you know about the +matter which is now troubling me, and conceal nothing." + +"Very good. You are the lover and the beloved of Madame----. The +widow whom you have treated badly has played you some trick which has +involved you with your mistress, and then the wretched woman has 477 +left your house with the most unpardonable rudeness this tortures +you. You fear some disastrous consequences from which you cannot +escape, your heart and mind are at war, and there is a struggle in +your breast between passion and sentiment. Perhaps I am wrong, but +yesterday you seemed to me happy and to-day miserable. I pity you, +because you have inspired me with the tenderest feelings of +friendship. I did my best to-day to converse with the husband that +you might be free to talk to the wife, who seems to me well worthy of +your love." + +"All that you have said is true. Your friendship is dear to me, and +I have a high opinion of your intellectual powers. The widow is a +monster who has made me wretched in return for my contempt, and I +cannot revenge myself on her. Honour will not allow me to tell you +any more, and indeed it would be impossible for you or any one else +to alleviate the grief that overwhelms me. It may possibly be my +death, but in the mean time, my dear Dubois, I entreat you to +continue your friendship towards me, and to treat me with entire +candour. I shall always attend to what you say, and thus you will be +of the greatest service to me. I shall not be ungrateful." + +I spent a weary night as I had expected, for anger, the mother of +vengeance, always made me sleepless, while sudden happiness had +sometimes the same effect. + +I rang for Le Duc early in the morning, but, instead of him, Madame +Dubois's ugly little attendant came, and told me that my man was ill, +and that the housekeeper would bring me my chocolate. She came in +directly after, and I had no sooner swallowed the chocolate than I +was seized with a violent attack of sickness, the effect of anger, +which at its height may kill the man who cannot satisfy it. My +concentrated rage called for vengeance on the dreadful widow, the +chocolate came on the top of the anger, and if it had not been +rejected I should have been killed; as it was I was quite exhausted. +Looking at my housekeeper I saw she was in tears, and asked her why +she wept. + +"Good heavens! Do you think I have a heart of stone?" + +"Calm yourself; I see you pity me. Leave me, and I hope I shall be +able to get some sleep." + +I went to sleep soon after, and I did not wake till I had slept for +seven hours. I felt restored to life. I rang the bell, my +housekeeper came in, and told me the surgeon of the place had called. +She looked very melancholy, but on seeing my more cheerful aspect I +saw gladness reappearing on her pretty face. + +"We will dine together, dearest," said I, "but tell the surgeon to +come in. I want to know what he has to say to me." + +The worthy man entered, and after looking carefully round the room to +see that we were alone, he came up to me, and whispered in my ear +that Le Duc had a malady of a shameful character. + +I burst out laughing, as I had been expecting some terrible news. + +"My dear doctor," said I, "do all you can to cure him, and I will pay +you handsomely, but next time don't look so doleful when you have +anything to tell me. How old are you?" + +"Nearly eighty." + +"May God help you!" + +I was all the more ready to sympathize with my poor Spaniard, as I +expected to find myself in a like case. + +What a fellow-feeling there is between the unfortunate! The poor man +will seek in vain for true compassion at the rich man's doors; what +he receives is a sacrifice to ostentation and not true benevolence; +and the man in sorrow should not look for pity from one to whom +sorrow is unknown, if there be such a person on the earth. + +My housekeeper came in to dress me, and asked me what had been the +doctor's business. + +"He must have said something amusing to make you laugh." + +"Yes, and I should like to tell you what it was; but before I do so I +must ask you if you know what the venereal disease is?" + +"Yes, I do; Lady Montagu's footman died of it while I was with her" + +"Very good, but you should pretend not to know what it is, and +imitate other ladies who assume an ignorance which well becomes them. +Poor Le Duc has got this disease." + +"Poor fellow, I am sorry for him! Were you laughing at that?" + +"No; it was the air of mystery assumed by the old doctor which amused +me." + +"I too have a confidence to make, and when you have heard it you must +either forgive me or send me away directly." + +"Here is another bother. What the devil can you have done? Quick! +tell me." + +"Sir, I have robbed you!" + +"What robbed me? When? How? Can you return me what you have +taken? I should not have thought you capable of such a thing. I +never forgive a robber or a liar." + +"You are too hasty, sir. I am sure you will forgive me, as I robbed +you only half an hour ago, and I am now going to return to you the +theft." + +"You are a singular woman, my dear. Come, I will vouchsafe full +forgiveness, but restore immediately what you have taken." + +"This is what I stole." + +"What! that monster's letter? Did you read it?" + +"Yes, of course, for otherwise I should not have committed a theft, +should I?" + +"You have robbed me my secret, then, and that is a thing you cannot +give me back. You have done very wrong." + +"I confess I have. My theft is all the greater in that I cannot make +restoration. Nevertheless, I promise never to speak a word of it all +my life, and that ought to gain me my pardon. Give it me quickly." + +"You are a little witch. I forgive you, and here is the pledge of my +mercy." So saying I fastened my lips on hers. + +"I don't doubt the validity of your pardon; you have signed with a +double and a triple seal." + +"Yes; but for the future do not read, or so much as touch, any of my +papers, as I am the depositary of secrets of which I am not free to +dispose." + +"Very good; but what shall I do when I find papers on the ground, as +that letter was?" + +"You must pick them up, but not read them." + +"I promise to do so." + +"Very well, my dear; but you must forget the horrors you have read." + +"Listen to me. Allow me to remember what I have read; perhaps you +may be the gainer. Let us talk over this affair, which has made my +hair stand on end. This monster of immodesty has given you two +mortal blows--one in the body and one in the soul; but that is not +the worst, as she thinks that Madame's honour is in her keeping. +This, in my thinking, is the worst of all; for, in spite of the +affront, your mutual love might continue, and the disease which the +infamous creature has communicated to you would pass off; but if the +malicious woman carries out her threats, the honour of your charming +mistress is gone beyond return. Do not try to make me forget the +matter, then, but let us talk it over and see what can be done." + +I thought I was dreaming when I heard a young woman in her position +reasoning with more acuteness than Minerva displays in her colloquies +with Telemachus. She had captured not only my esteem but my respect. + +"Yes, my dear," I answered, "let us think over some plan for +delivering a woman who deserves the respect of all good men from this +imminent danger; and the very thought that we have some chance of +success makes me indebted to you. Let us think of it and talk of it +from noon to night. Think kindly of Madame ----, pardon her first +slip, protect her honour, and have pity on my distress. From +henceforth call me no more your master but your friend. I will be +your friend till death; I swear it to you. What you say is full of +wisdom; my heart is yours. Embrace me." + +"No, no, that is not necessary; we are young people, and we might +perhaps allow ourselves to go astray. I only wish for your +friendship; but I do not want you to give it to me for nothing. I +wish to deserve it by giving you solid proofs of my friendship for +you. In the meanwhile I will tell them to serve dinner, and I hope +that after you have eaten something you will be quite well." + +I was astonished at her sagacity. It might all be calculated +artifice, and her aim might be to seduce me, but I did not trouble +myself about that. I found myself almost in love with her, and like +to be the dupe of her principles, which would have made themselves +felt, even if she had openly shared my love. I decided that I would +add no fuel to my flames, and felt certain that they would go out of +their own accord. By leaving my love thus desolate it would die of +exhaustion. I argued like a fool. I forgot that it is not possible +to stop at friendship with a pretty woman whom one sees constantly, +and especially when one suspects her of being in love herself. At +its height friendship becomes love, and the palliative one is forced +to apply to soothe it for a moment only increases its intensity. +Such was the experience of Anacreon with Smerdis, and Cleobulus with +Badyllus. A Platonist who pretends that one is able to live with a +young woman of whom one is fond, without becoming more than her +friend, is a visionary who knows not what he says. My housekeeper +was too young, too pretty, and above all too pleasant, she had too +keen a wit, for me not to be captivated by all these qualities +conjoined; I was bound to become her lover. + +We dined quietly together without saying anything about the affair we +had at heart, for nothing is more imprudent or more dangerous than to +speak in the presence of servants, who out of maliciousness or +ignorance put the worst construction on what they hear; add or +diminish, and think themselves privileged to divulge their master's +secrets, especially as they know them without having been entrusted +with them. + +As soon as we were alone, my dear Dubois asked me if I had sufficient +proof of Le Duc's fidelity. + +"Well, my dear, he is a rascal and a profligate, full of impudence, +sharp-witted, ignorant, a fearful liar, and nobody but myself has any +power over him. However, he has one good quality, and that is blind +obedience to my orders. He defies the stick, and he would defy the +gallows if it were far enough off. When I have to ford a river on my +travels, he strips off his clothes without my telling him, and jumps +in to see if I can across in safety." + +"That will do; he is just what we want under the circumstances. I +will begin by assuring you, my dear friend, as you will have me style +you thus, that Madame's honour is perfectly safe. Follow my advice, +and if the detestable widow does not take care she will be the only +person put to shame. But we want Le Duc; without him we can do +nothing. Above all we must find out how he contracted his disease, +as several circumstances might throw obstacles in the way of my +design. Go to him at once and find out all particulars, and if he +has told any of the servants what is the matter with him. When you +have heard what he has to say, warn him to keep the matter quiet." + +I made no objection, and without endeavouring to penetrate her design +I went to Le Duc. I found him lying on his bed by himself. I sat +down beside him with a smile on my face, and promised to have him +cured if he would tell me all the circumstances of the case. + +"With all my heart, sir, the matter happened like this. The day you +sent me to Soleure to get your letters, I got down at a roadside +dairy to get a glass of milk. It was served to me by a young wench +who caught my fancy, and I gave her a hug; she raised no objection, +and in a quarter of an hour she made me what you see." + +"Have you told anyone about it?" + +"I took good care not to do so, as I should only have got laughed at. +The doctor is the only one who knows what is the matter, and he tells +me the swelling will be gone down before tomorrow, and I hope I shall +be able by that time to wait upon you." + +"Very good, but remember to keep your own counsel." + +I proceeded to inform my Minerva of our conversation, and she said,-- + +"Tell me whether the widow could take her oath that she had spent the +two hours on the sofa with you." + +"No, for she didn't see me, and I did not say a word." + +"Very good; then sit down at your desk and write, and tell her she is +a liar, as you did not leave your room at all, and that you are +making the necessary enquiries in your household to find out who is +the wretched person she has unwittingly contaminated. Write at once +and send off your letter directly. In an hour and a half's time you +can write another letter; or rather you can copy what I am just going +to put down." + +"My dear, I see your plan; it is an ingenious one, but I have given +my word of honour to Madame to take no steps in the matter without +first consulting her." + +"Then your word of honour must give way to the necessity of saving +her honour. Your love retards your steps, but everything depends on +our promptitude, and on the interval between the first and second +letter. Follow my advice, I beg of you, and you will know the rest +from the letter I am going to write for you to copy. Quick I write +letter number one." + +I did not allow myself to reflect. I was persuaded that no better +plan could be found than that of my charming governess, and I +proceeded to write the following love-letter to the impudent monster: + +"The impudence of your letter is in perfect accord with the three +nights you spent in discovering a fact which has no existence save in +your own perverse imagination. Know, cursed woman, that I never left +my room, and that I have not to deplore the shame of having passed +two hours with a being such as you. God knows with whom you did pass +them, but I mean to find out if the whole story is not the creation +of your devilish brain, and when I do so I will inform you. + +"You may thank Heaven that I did not open your letter till after M. +and Madame had gone. I received it in their presence, but despising +the hand that wrote it I put it in my pocket, little caring what +infamous stuff it contained. If I had been curious enough to read it +and my guests had seen it, I would have you know that I would have +gone in pursuit of you, and at this moment you would have been a +corpse. I am quite well, and have no symptoms of any complaint, but +I shall not lower myself to convince you of my health, as your eyes +would carry contagion as well as your wretched carcase." + +I shewed the letter to my dear Dubois, who thought it rather strongly +expressed, but approved of it on the whole; I then sent it to the +horrible being who had caused me such unhappiness. An hour and a +half afterwards I sent her the following letter, which I copied +without addition or subtraction: + +"A quarter of an hour after I had sent off my letter, the village +doctor came to tell me that my man had need of his treatment for a +disease of a shameful nature which he had contracted quite recently. +I told him to take care of his patient; and when he had gone I went +to see the invalid, who confessed, after some pressure, that he had +received this pretty present from you. I asked him how he had +contrived to obtain access to you, and he said that he saw you going +by your self in the dark into the apartment of M.----. Knowing that +I had gone to bed, and having no further services to render me, +curiosity made him go and see what you were doing there by stealth, +as if you had wanted to see the lady, who would be in bed by that +time, you would not have gone by the door leading to the garden. He +at first thought that you went there with ill-intent, and he waited +an hour to see if you stole anything, in which case he would have +arrested you; but as you did not come out, and he heard no noise, he +resolved to go in after you, and found you had left the door open. +He has assured me that he had no intentions in the way of carnal +enjoyment, and I can well believe him. He tells me he was on the +point of crying for help, when you took hold of him and put your hand +over his mouth; but he changed his plans on finding himself drawn +gently to a couch and covered with kisses. You plainly took him for +somebody else, 'and,' said he, 'I did her a service which she has +done ill to recompense in this fashion.' He left you without saying +a word as soon as the day began to dawn, his motive being fear of +recognition. It is easy to see that you took my servant for myself, +for in the night, you know, all cats are grey, and I congratulate you +on obtaining an enjoyment you certainly would not have had from me, +as I should most surely have recognized you directly from your breath +and your aged charms, and I can tell you it would have gone hard with +you. Luckily for you and for me, things happened otherwise. I may +tell you that the poor fellow is furious, and intends making you a +visit, from which course I believe I have no right to dissuade him. +I advise you to hear him politely, and to be in a generous mood when +he comes, as he is a determined fellow like all Spaniards, and if you +do not treat him properly he will publish the matter, and you will +have to take the consequences. He will tell you himself what his +terms are, and I daresay you will be wise enough to grant them." + +An hour after I had sent off this epistle I received a reply to my +first letter. She told me that my device was an ingenious one, but +that it was no good, as she knew what she was talking about. She +defied me to shew her that I was healthy in the course of a few days. + +While we were at supper, my dear Dubois tried her utmost to cheer me +up, but all to no purpose; I was too much under the influence of +strong emotion to yield to her high spirits. We discussed the third +step, which would put an apex to the scheme and cover the impudent +woman with shame. As I had written the two letters according to my +housekeeper's instructions, I determined to follow her advice to the +end. She told me what to say to Le Duc in the morning; and she was +curious to know what sort of stuff he was made of, she begged me to +let her listen behind the curtains of my bed. + +Next morning Le Due came in, and I asked if he could ride on +horseback to Soleure. + +"Yes, sir," he replied, "but the doctor tells me I must begin to +bathe to-morrow." + +"Very good. As soon as your horse is ready, set out and go to Madame +F----, but do not let her know you come from me, or suspect that you +are a mere emissary of mine. Say that you want to speak to her. If +she refuses to receive you, wait outside in the street; but I fancy +she will receive you, and without a witness either. Then say to her, +'You have given me my complaint without having been asked, and I +require you to give me sufficient money to get myself cured.' Add +that she made you work for two hours in the dark, and that if it had +not been for the fatal present she had given to you, you would have +said nothing about it; but that finding yourself in such a state (you +needn't be ashamed to shew her) she ought not to be astonished at +your taking such a course. If she resists, threaten her with the +law. That's all you have to do, but don't let my name appear. +Return directly without loss of time, that I may know how you have +got on." + +"That's all very fine, sir, but if this jolly wench has me pitched +out of window, I shan't come home quite so speedily." + +"Quite so, but you needn't be afraid; I will answer for your safety." + +"It's a queer business you are sending me on." + +"You are the only man I would trust to do it properly." + +"I will do it all right, but I want to ask you one or two essential +questions. Has the lady really got the what d'you call it?" + +"She has." + +"I am sorry for her. But how am I to stick to it that she has +peppered me, when I have never spoken to her?" + +"Do you usually catch that complaint by speaking, booby?" + +"No, but one speaks in order to catch it, or while one is catching +it." + +"You spent two hours in the dark with her without a word being +spoken, and she will see that she gave this fine present to you while +she thought she was giving it to another." + +"Ah! I begin to see my way, sir. But if we were in the dark, how was +I to know it was she I had to do with? + +"Thus: you saw her going in by the garden door, and you marked her +unobserved. But you may be sure she won't ask you any of these +questions." + +"I know what to do now. I will start at once, and I am as curious as +you to know what her answer will be. But here's another question +comes into my head. She may try to strike a bargain over the sum I +am to ask for my cure; if so, shall I be content with three hundred +francs?" + +"That's too much for her, take half." + +"But it isn't much for two hours of such pleasure for her and six +weeks of such pain for me." + +"I will make up the rest to you." + +"That's good hearing. She is going to pay for damage she has done. +I fancy I see it all, but I shall say nothing. I would bet it is you +to whom she has made this fine present, and that you want to pay her +out." + +"Perhaps so; but keep your own counsel and set out." + +"Do you know I think the rascal is unique," said my dear Dubois, +emerging from her hiding-place, "I had hard work to keep from +laughing when he said that if he were pitched out of the window he +would not come back so soon. I am sure he will acquit himself better +than ever did diplomatist. When he gets to Soleure the monster will +have already dispatched her reply to your second letter. I am +curious to see how it will turn out." + +"To you, my dear, the honour of this comedy belongs. You have +conducted this intrigue like a past master in the craft. It could +never be taken for the work of a novice." + +"Nevertheless, it is my first and I hope it will be my last intrigue" + +"I hope she won't defy me to 'give evidence of my health." + +"You are quite well so far, I think?" + +"Yes; and, by the way, it is possible she may only have leucorrhoea. +I am longing to see the end of the piece, and to set my mind at +rest." + +"Will you give Madame an account of our scheme?" + +"Yes; but I shall not be able to give you the credit you deserve." + +"I only want to have credit in your eyes." + +"You cannot doubt that I honour you immensely, and I shall certainly +not deprive you of the reward that is your due." + +"The only reward I ask for is for you to be perfectly open with me." + +"You are very wonderful. Why do you interest yourself so much in my +affairs? I don't like to think you are really inquisitive." + +"You would be wrong to think that I have a defect which would lower +me in my own eyes. Be sure, sir, that I shall only be curious when +you are sad." + +"But what can have made you feel so generously towards me?" + +"Only your honourable conduct towards me." + +"You touch me profoundly, and I promise to confide in you for the +future." + +"You will make me happy." + +Le Duc had scarcely gone an hour when a messenger on foot came to +bring me a second letter from the widow. He also gave me a small +packet, telling me that he had orders to wait for a reply. I sent +him down to wait, and I gave the letter to Madame Dubois, that she +might see what it contained. While she was reading it I leant upon +the window, my heart beating violently. + +"Everything is getting on famously," cried my housekeeper. "Here is +the letter; read it." + +"Whether I am being told the truth, or whether I am the victim of a +myth arising from your fertile imagination (for which you are too +well known all over Europe), I will regard the whole story as being +true, as I am not in a position to disprove it. I am deeply grieved +to have injured an innocent man who has never done me any ill, and I +will willingly pay the penalty by giving him a sum which will be more +than sufficient to cure him of the plague with which I infected him. +I beg that you will give him the twenty-five louis I am sending you; +they will serve to restore him to health, and to make him forget the +bitterness of the pleasure I am so sorry to have procured for him. +And now are you sufficiently generous to employ your authority as +master to enjoin on your man the most absolute secrecy? I hope so, +for you have reason to dread my vengeance otherwise. Consider that, +if this affair is allowed to transpire, it will be easy for me to +give it a turn which may be far from pleasant to you, and which will +force the worthy man you are deceiving to open his eyes; for I have +not changed my opinion, as I have too many proofs of your +understanding with his wife. As I do not desire that we should meet +again, I shall go to Lucerne on the pretext of family concerns. Let +me know that you have got this letter." + +"I am sorry," I said, "to have sent Le Duc, as the harpy is violent, +and I am afraid of something happening to him." + +"Don't be afraid," she replied, "nothing will happen, and it is +better that they should see each other; it makes it more certain. +Send her the money directly; she will have to give it to him herself, +and your vengeance will be complete. She will not be able to +entertain the slightest suspicion, especially if Le Duc shews her her +work, and in two or three hours you will have the pleasure of hearing +everything from his lips. You have reason to bless your stars, as +the honour of the woman you love is safe. The only thing that can +trouble you is the remembrance of the widow's foul embraces, and the +certainty that the prostitute has communicated her complaint to you. +Nevertheless, I hope it may prove a slight attack and be easily +cured. An inveterate leucorrhoea is not exactly a venereal disease, +and I have heard people in London say that it was rarely contagious. +We ought to be very thankful that she is going to Lucerne. Laugh and +be thankful; there is certainly a comic touch in our drama." + +"Unfortunately, it is tragi-comic. I know the human heart, and I am +sure that I must have forfeited Madame's affections." + +"It is true that----; but this is not the time to be thinking of such +matters. Quick! write to her briefly and return her the twenty-five +Louis." + +My reply was as follows: + +"Your unworthy suspicions, your abominable design of revenge, and the +impudent letter you wrote me, are the only causes of your no doubt +bitter repentance. I hope that it will restore peace to your +conscience. Our messengers have crossed, through no fault of mine. +I send you the twenty-five Louis; you can give them to the man +yourself. I could not prevent my servant from paying you a visit, +but this time you will not keep him two hours, and you will not find +it difficult to appease his anger. I wish you a good journey, and I +shall certainly flee all occasions of meeting you, for I always avoid +the horrible; and you must know, odious woman, that it isn't +everybody who endeavours to ruin the reputation of their friends. +If you see the apostolic nuncio at Lucerne, ask him about me, and he +will tell you what sort of a reputation I have in Europe. I can +assure you that Le Duc has only spoken to me of his misadventure, and +that if you treat him well he will be discreet, as he certainly has +nothing to boast of. Farewell." + +My dear Minerva approved of this letter, and I sent it with the money +by the messenger. + +"The piece is not yet done," said my housekeeper, "we have three +scenes more:" + +"What are they?" + +"The return of your Spaniard, the appearance of the disease, and the +astonishment of Madame when she hears it all." + +I counted the moments for Le Duc to return, but in vain; he did not +appear. I was in a state of great anxiety, although my dear Dubois +kept telling me that the only reason he was away so long was that the +widow was out. Some people are so happily constituted that they +never admit the possibility of misfortune. I was like that myself +till the age of thirty, when I was put under the Leads. Now I am +getting into my dotage and look on the dark side of everything. I am +invited to a wedding, and see nought but gloom; and witnessing the +coronation of Leopold, at Prague, I say to myself, 'Nolo coronari'. +Cursed old age, thou art only worthy of dwelling in hell, as others +before me have thought also, 'tristisque senectus'. + +About half-past nine my housekeeper looked out, and saw Le Duc by the +moonlight coming along at a good pace. That news revived me. I had +no light in the room, and my housekeeper ran to hide in the recess, +for she would not have missed a word of the Spaniard's communication. + +"I am dying of hunger," said he, as he came in. "I had to wait for +that woman till half-past six. When she came in she found me on the +stairs and told me to go about my business, as she had nothing to say +to me. + +"'That may be, fair lady,' I replied; 'but I have a few words to say +to you, and I have been waiting here for a cursed time with that +intent.' + +"'Wait a minute,' she replied; and then putting into her pocket a +packet and a letter which I thought was addressed in your writing, +she told me to follow her. As soon as I got to her room, I saw there +was no one else present, and I told her that she had infected me, and +that I wanted the wherewithal to pay the doctor. As she said nothing +I proceeded to convince her of my infected state, but she turned away +her head, and said,-- + +"'Have you been waiting for me long? + +"'Since eleven, without having had a bite or a sup.' + +"Thereupon she went out, and after asking the servant, whom I suppose +she had sent here, what time he had come back, she returned to me, +shut the door, and gave me the packet, telling me that it contained +twenty-five Louis for my cure, and that if I valued my life I would +keep silence in the matter. I promised to be discreet, and with that +I left here, and here I am. + +"Does the packet belong to me?" + +"Certainly. Have some supper and go to bed." + +My dear Dubois came out of her recess and embraced me, and we spent a +happy evening. Next morning I noticed the first symptoms of the +disease the hateful widow had communicated to me, but in three or +four days I found it was of a very harmless character, and a week +later I was quite rid of it. My poor Spaniard, on the other hand, +was in a pitiable case. + +I passed the whole of the next morning in writing to Madame. I told +her circumstantially all I had done, in spite of my promise to +consult her, and I sent her copies of all the letters to convince her +that our enemy had gone to Lucerne with the idea that her vengeance +had been only an imaginary one. Thus I shewed her that her honour +was perfectly safe. I ended by telling her that I had noticed the +first symptoms of the disease, but that I was certain of getting rid +of it in a very few days. I sent my letter through her nurse, and in +two days' time I had a few lines from her informing me that I should +see her in the course of the week in company with her husband and +M. de Chavigni. + +Unhappy I! I was obliged to renounce all thoughts of love, but my +Dubois, who was with me nearly all day on account of Le Duc's +illness, began to stand me in good stead. The more I determined to +be only a friend to her, the more I was taken with her; and it was in +vain that I told myself that from seeing her without any love-making +my sentiment for her would die a natural death. I had made her a +present of a ring, telling her that whenever she wanted to get rid of +it I would give her a hundred louis for it; but this could only +happen in time of need--an impossible contingency while she continued +with me, and I had no idea of sending her away. She was natural and +sincere, endowed with a ready wit and good reasoning powers. She had +never been in love, and she had only married to please Lady Montagu. +She only wrote to her mother, and to please her I read the letters. +They were full of filial piety, and were admirably written. + +One day the fancy took me to ask to read the letters her mother wrote +in reply. "She never replies," said she, "For an excellent reason, +namely, that she cannot write. I thought she was dead when I came +back from England, and it was a happy surprise to find her in perfect +health when I got to Lausanne." + +"Who came with you from England?" + +"Nobody." + +"I can't credit that. Young, beautiful, well dressed, obliged to +associate casually with all kinds of people, young men and +profligates (for there are such everywhere), how did you manage to +defend yourself?" + +"Defend myself? I never needed to do so. The best plan for a young +woman is never to stare at any man, to pretend not to hear certain +questions and certainly not to answer them, to sleep by herself in a +room where there is a lock and key, or with the landlady when +possible. When a girl has travelling adventures, one may safely say +that she has courted them, for it is easy to be discreet in all +countries if one wishes." + +She spoke justly. She assured me that she had never had an adventure +and had never tripped, as she was fortunate enough not to be of an +amorous disposition. Her naive stories, her freedom from prudery, +and her sallies full of wit and good sense, amused me from morning +till night, and we sometimes thoued each other; this was going rather +far, and should have shewn us that we were on the brink of the +precipice. She talked with much admiration of the charms of Madame, +and shewed the liveliest interest in my stories of amorous adventure. +When I got on risky ground, I would make as if I would fain spare her +all unseemly details, but she begged me so gracefully to hide +nothing, that I found myself obliged to satisfy her; but when my +descriptions became so faithful as almost to set us on fire, she +would burst into a laugh, put her hand over my mouth, and fly like a +hunted gazelle to her room, and then lock herself in. One day I +asked her why she did so, and she answered, "To hinder you from +coming to ask me for what I could not refuse you at such moments." + +The day before that on which M. and Madame and M. de Chavigni came to +dine with me, she asked me if I had had any amorous adventures in +Holland. I told her about Esther, and when I came to the mole and my +inspection of it, my charming curiosity ran to stop my mouth, her +sides shaking with laughter. I held her gently to me, and could not +help seeking whether she had a mole in the same place, to which she +opposed but a feeble resistance. I was prevented by my unfortunate +condition from immolating the victim on the altar of love, so we +confined ourselves to a make-believe combat which only lasted a +minute; however, our eyes took in it, and our excited feelings were +by no means appeased. When we had done she said, laughing, but yet +discreetly,-- + +"My dear friend, we are in love with one another; and if we do not +take care we shall not long be content with this trifling." + +Sighing as she spoke, she wished me good night and went to bed with +her ugly little maid. This was the first time we had allowed +ourselves to be overcome by the violence of our passion, but the +first step was taken. As I retired to rest I felt that I was in +love, and foresaw that I should soon be under the rule of my charming +housekeeper. + +M. and Madame--and M. Chavigni gave us an agreeable surprise, the +next day, by coming to dine with us, and we passed the time till +dinner by walking in the garden. My dear Dubois did the honours of +the table, and I was glad to see that my two male guests were +delighted with her, for they did not leave her for a moment during +the afternoon, and I was thus enabled to tell my charmer all I had +written to her. Nevertheless I took care not to say a word about the +share my housekeeper had had in the matter, for my mistress would +have been mortified at the thought that her weakness was known to +her. + +"I was delighted to read your letters," said she, "and to hear that +that villainous woman can no longer flatter herself upon having spent +two hours with you. But tell me, how can you have actually spent +them with her without noticing, in spite of the dark, the difference +between her and me? She is much shorter, much thinner, and ten +years older. Besides, her breath is disagreeable, and I think you +know that I have not that defect. Certainly, you could not see her +hair, but you could touch, and yet you noticed nothing! I can +scarcely believe it!" + +"Unhappily, it is only too true. I was inebriated with love, and +thinking only of you, I saw nothing but you." + +"I understand how strong the imagination would be at first, but this +element should have been much diminished after the first or second +assault; and, above all, because she differs from me in a matter +which I cannot conceal and she cannot supply." + +"You are right--a burst of Venus! When I think that I only touched +two dangling flabby breasts, I feel as if I did not deserve to live!" + +"And you felt them, and they did not disgust you!" + +"Could I be disgusted, could I even reflect, when I felt certain that +I held you in my arms, you for whom I would give my life. No, a +rough skin, a stinking breath, and a fortification carried with far +too much ease; nothing could moderate my amorous fury." + +"What do I hear? Accursed and unclean woman, nest of impurities! +And could you forgive me all these defects?" + +"I repeat, the idea that I possessed you deprived me of my thinking +faculties; all seemed to me divine." + +"You should have treated me like a common prostitute, you should even +have beaten me on finding me such as you describe." + +"Ah! now you are unjust" + +"That may be; I am so enraged against that monster that my anger +deprives me of reason. But now that she thinks that she had to do +with a servant, and after the degrading visit she has had she ought +to die of rage and shame. What astonishes me is her believing it, +for he is shorter than you by four inches. And how can she imagine +that a servant would do it as well as you? It's not likely. I am +sure she is in love with him now. Twenty-five louis! He would have +been content with ten. What a good thing that the poor fellow's +illness happened so conveniently. But I suppose you had to tell him +all?" + +"Not at all. I gave him to understand that she had made an +appointment with me in that room, and that I had really spent two +hours with her, not speaking for fear of being heard. Then, thinking +over the orders I gave him, he came to the conclusion that on finding +myself diseased afterwards I was disgusted, and being able to disavow +my presence I had done so for the sake of revenge." + +"That's admirable, and the impudence of the Spaniard passes all +belief. But her impudence is the most astonishing thing of all. But +supposing her illness had been a mere trick to frighten you, what a +risk the rascal would have run!" + +"I was afraid of that, as I had no symptoms of disease whatever." + +"But now you really have it, and all through my fault. I am in +despair." + +"Be calm, my angel, my disease is of a very trifling nature. I am +only taking nitre, and in a week I shall be quite well again. I hope +that then . . . ." + +"Ah! my dear friend." + +"What?" + +"Don't let us think of that any more, I beseech you." + +"You are disgusted, and not unnaturally; but your love cannot be very +strong, Ah! how unhappy I am." + +"I am more unhappy than you. I love you, and you would be thankless +indeed if you ceased to love me. Let us love each other, but let us +not endeavour to give one another proofs of our love. It might be +fatal. That accursed widow! She is gone away, and in a fortnight we +shall be going also to Bale, where we remain till the end of +November." + +The die is cast, and I see that I must submit to your decision, or +rather to my destiny, for none but fatal events have befallen me +since I came to Switzerland. My only consoling thought is that I +have made your honour safe." + +"You have won my husband's friendship and esteem; we shall always be +good friends." + +"If you are going I feel that I must go before you. That will tend +to convince the wretched author of my woe that there is nothing +blame-worthy in my friendship for you." + +"You reason like an angel, and you convince me more and more of your +love. Where are you going?" + +"To Italy; but I shall take Berne and Geneva on my way." + +"You will not be coming to Bale, then? I am glad to hear it, in +spite of the pleasure it would give me to see you. No doubt your +arrival would give a handle for the gossips, and I might suffer by +it. But if possible, in the few days you are to remain, shew +yourself to be in good spirits, for sadness does not become you." + +We rejoined the ambassador and M.---- who had not had time to think +about us, as my dear Dubois had kept them amused by her lively +conversation. I reproached her for the way in which she husbanded +her wit as far as I was concerned, and M. de Chavigni, seizing the +opportunity, told us it was because we were in love, and lovers are +known to be chary of their words. My housekeeper was not long in +finding a repartee, and she again began to entertain the two +gentlemen, so that I was enabled to continue my walk with Madame, who +said,-- + +"Your housekeeper, my dear friend, is a masterpiece. Tell me the +truth, and I promise to give you a mark of my gratitude that will +please you before I go." + +"Speak; what do you wish to know?" + +"You love her and she loves you in return." + +"I think you are right, but so far . . . ." + +"I don't want to know any more, for if matters are not yet arranged +they soon will be, and so it comes to the same thing. If you had +told me you did not love her I should not have believed you, for I +can't conceive that a man of your age can live with a woman like that +without loving her. She is very pretty and exceedingly intelligent, +she has good spirits, talents, an excellent manner, and she speaks +exceedingly well: that is enough to charm you, and I expect you will +find it difficult to separate from her. Lebel did her a bad turn in +sending her to you, as she used to have an excellent reputation, and +now she will no longer be able to get a place with ladies in the +highest society." + +"I shall take her to Berne." + +"That is a good idea." + +Just as they were going I said that I should soon be coming to +Soleure to thank them for the distinguished reception they had given +me, as I proposed leaving in a few days. The idea of never seeing +Madame again was so painful to me that as soon as I got in I went to +bed, and my housekeeper, respecting my melancholy, retired after +wishing me good-night. + +In two or three days I received a note from my charmer, bidding me +call upon them the day following at about ten o'clock, and telling me +I was to ask for dinner. I carried out her orders to the letter. +M. gave me a most friendly reception, but saying that he was obliged +to go into the country and could not be home till one o'clock, he +begged me not to be offended if he delivered me over to his wife for +the morning. Such is the fate of a miserable husband! His wife was +engaged with a young girl at tambour-work; I accepted her company on +the condition that she would not allow me to disturb her work. + +The girl went away at noon, and soon after we went to enjoy the fresh +air outside the house. We sat in a summer-house from which, +ourselves unseen, we could see all the carriages that approached the +house. + +"Why, dearest, did you not procure me the bliss when I was in good +health." + +"Because at that time my husband suspected that you turned yourself +into a waiter for my sake, and that you could not be indifferent +towards me. Your discretion has destroyed his suspicions; and also +your housekeeper, whom he believes to be your wife, and who has taken +his fancy to such an extent, that I believe he would willingly +consent to an exchange, for a few days at any rate. Would you +agree?" + +"Ah! if the exchange could be effected." + +Having only an hour before me, and foreseeing that it would be the +last I should pass beside her, I threw myself at her feet. She was +full of affection, and put no obstacles in the way of my desires, +save those which my own feelings dictated, for I loved her too well +to consent to injure her health. I did all I could to replace the +utmost bliss, but the pleasure she enjoyed doubtless consisted in a +great measure in shewing me her superiority to the horrible widow. + +When we saw the husband's carriage coming, we rose and took care that +the worthy man should not find us in the arbour. He made a thousand +excuses for not having returned sooner. + +We had an excellent dinner, and at table he talked almost entirely of +my housekeeper, and he seemed moved when I said I meant to take her +to Lausanne to her mother. I took leave of them at five o'clock with +a broken heart, and from there I went to M. de Chavigni and told him +all my adventures. He had a right to be told, as he had done all in +his power to insure the success of a project which had only failed by +an unexampled fatality. + +In admiration of my dear Dubois's wit--for I did not conceal the part +she played he said that old as he was he should think himself quite +happy if he had such a woman with him, and he was much pleased when I +told him that I was in love with her. "Don't give yourself the +trouble, my dear Casanova, of running from house to house to take +leave," said the amiable nobleman. "It can be done just as well at +the assembly, and you need not even stay to supper, if you don't want +to." + +I followed his advice, and thus saw again Madame as I thought, for +the last time, but I was wrong; I saw her ten years afterwards; and +at the proper time the reader will see where, when, how, and under +what circumstances. + +Before going away, I followed the ambassador to his room to thank him +as he deserved, for his kindness, and to ask him to give me a letter +of introduction for Berne, where I thought of staying a fortnight. +I also begged him to send Lebel to me that we might settle our +accounts. He told me that Lebel should bring me a letter for M. de +Muralt, the Mayor of Thun. + +When I got home, feeling sad on this, the eve of my leaving a town +where I had but trifling victories and heavy losses, I thanked my +housekeeper for waiting for me, and to give her a good night I told +her that in three days we should set out for Berne, and that my mails +must be packed. + +Next day, after a somewhat silent breakfast, she said,-- + +"You will take me with you, won't you?" + +"Certainly, if you like me well enough to want to go." + +"I would go with you to the end of the world, all the more as you are +now sick and sad, and when I saw you first you were blithe and well. +If I must leave you, I hope at least to see you happy first." + +The doctor came in just then to tell me that my poor Spaniard was so +ill that he could not leave his bed. + +"I will have him cured at Berne," said I ; "tell him that we are +going to dine there the day after to-morrow." + +"I must tell you, sir, that though it's only a seven leagues' +journey, he cannot possibly undertake it as he has lost the use of +all his limbs." + +"I am sorry to hear that, doctor." + +"I dare say, but it's true." + +"I must verify the matter with my own eyes;" and so saying I went to +see Le Duc. + +I found the poor rascal, as the doctor had said, incapable of motion. +He had only the use of his tongue and his eyes. + +"You are in a pretty state," said I to him. + +"I am very ill, sir, though otherwise I feel quite well." + +"I expect so, but as it is you can't move, and I want to dine at +Berne the day after to-morrow." + +"Have me carried there, I shall get cured." + +"You are right, I will have you carried in a litter." + +"I shall look like a saint out for a walk." + +I told one of the servants to look after him, and to see to all that +was necessary for our departure. I had him taken to the "Falcon" by +two horses who drew his litter. + +Lebel came at noon and gave me the letter his master had written for +M. de Murat. He brought his receipts and I paid everything without +objection, as I found him an entirely honest man, and I had him to +dinner with Madame Dubois and myself. I did not feel disposed to +talk, and I was glad to see that they got on without me; they talked +away admirably and amused me, for Lebel was by no means wanting in +wit. He said he was very glad I had given him an opportunity of +knowing the housekeeper, as he could not say he had known her before, +having only seen her two or three times in passing through Lausanne. +On rising from the table he asked my permission to write to her, and +she, putting in her voice, called on him not to forget to do so. + +Lebel was a good-natured man, of an honest appearance, and +approaching his fiftieth year. Just as he was going, without asking +my leave, he embraced her in the French fashion, and she seemed not +to have the slightest objection. + +She told me as soon as he was gone that this worthy man might be +useful to her, and that she was delighted to enter into a +correspondence with him. + +The next day was spent in putting everything in order for our short +journey, and Le Duc went off in his litter, intending to rest for the +night at four leagues from Soleure. On the day following, after I +had remembered the door-keeper, the cook, and the man-servant I was +leaving behind, I set out in my carriage with the charming Dubois, +and at eleven o'clock I arrived at the inn at Berne, where Le Duc had +preceded me by two hours. In the first place, knowing the habits of +Swiss innkeepers, I made an agreement with the landlord; and I then +told the servant I had kept, who came from Berne, to take care of Le +Duc, to put him under good medical superintendence, and to bid the +doctor spare nothing to cure him completely. + +I dined with my housekeeper in her room, for she had a separate +lodging, and after sending my letter to M. de Muralt I went out for a +walk. + + + + +CHAPTER XVII + +Berne--La Mata Madame de la Saone--Sara--My Departure--Arrival at +Bale + + +I reached an elevation from which I could look over a vast stretch of +country watered by a little river, and noticing a path leading to a +kind of stair, the fancy took me to follow it. I went down about a +hundred steps, and found forty small closets which I concluded were +bathing machines. While I was looking at the place an honest-looking +fellow came up to me, and asked me if I would like a bath. I said I +would, and he opened one of the closets, and before long I surrounded +by a crowd of young girls. + +"Sir," said the man, "they all aspire to the honour of attending you +while you bathe; you have only to choose which it shall be. Half-a- +crown will pay for the bath, the girl, and your coffee." + +As if I were the Grand Turk, I examined the swarm of rustic beauties, +and threw my handkerchief at the one I liked the best. We went into +a closet, and shutting the door with the most serious air, without +even looking at me, she undressed me, and put a cotton cap on my +head, and as soon as she saw me in the water she undressed herself as +coolly as possible, and without a word came into the bath. Then she +rubbed me all over, except in a certain quarter, which I had covered +with my hands. When I thought I had been manipulated sufficiently, I +asked for coffee. She got out of the bath, opened the door, and +after asking for what I wanted got in again without the slightest +consciousness. + +When the coffee came she got out again to take it, shut the door, and +returned to the bath, and held the tray while I was drinking, and +when I had finished she remained beside me. + +Although I had taken no great notice of her, I could see that she +possessed all the qualifications a man could desire in a woman: fine +features, lively eyes, a pretty mouth, and an excellent row of teeth, +a healthy complexion, a well-rounded bosom a curved back, and all +else in the same sort. I certainly thought her hands might have been +softer, but their hardness was probably due to hard work. +Furthermore, she was only eighteen, and yet I remained cold to all +her charms. How was that? That was the question I asked myself; +and I think the reason probably was that she was too natural, too +devoid of those assumed graces and coquettish airs which women employ +with so much art for the seduction of men. We only care for artifice +and false show. Perhaps, too, our senses, to be irritated, require +woman's charms to be veiled by modesty. But if, accustomed as we are +to clothe ourselves, the face is the smallest factor in our perfect +happiness, how is it that the face plays the principal part in +rendering a man amorous? Why do we take the face as an index of a +woman's beauty, and why do we forgive her when the covered parts are +not in harmony with her features? Would it not be much more +reasonable and sensible to veil the face, and to have the rest of the +body naked? Thus when we fall in love with a woman, we should only +want, as the crown of our bliss, to see a face answerable to those +other charms which had taken our fancy. There can be no doubt that +that would be the better plan, as in that case we should only be +seduced by a perfect beauty, and we should grant an easy pardon if at +the lifting of the mask we found ugliness instead of loveliness. +Under those circumstances an ugly woman, happy in exercising the +seductive power of her other charms, would never consent to unveil +herself; while the pretty ones would not have to be asked. The plain +women would not make us sigh for long; they would be easily subdued +on the condition of remaining veiled, and if they did consent to +unmask, it would be only after they had practically convinced one +that enjoyment is possible without facial beauty. And it is evident +and undeniable that inconstancy only proceeds from the variety of +features. If a man did not see the face, he would always be constant +and always in love with the first woman who had taken his fancy. I +know that in the opinion of the foolish all this will seem folly, but +I shall not be on the earth to answer their objections. + +When I had left the bath, she wiped me with towels, put on my shirt, +and then in the same state--that is, quite naked, she did my hair. + +While I was dressing she dressed herself too, and having soon +finished she came to buckle my shoes. I then gave her half-a-crown +for the bath and six francs for herself; she kept the half-crown, but +gave me back the six francs with silent contempt. I was mortified; I +saw that I had offended her, and that she considered her behaviour +entitled her to respect. I went away in a bad enough humour. + +After supper I could not help telling my dear Dubois of the adventure +I had had in the afternoon, and she made her own comments on the +details. "She can't have been pretty," said she, "for if she had +been, you would certainly have given way. I should like to see her." + +"If you like I will take you there." + +"I should be delighted." + +"But you will have to dress like a man:" + +She rose, went out without a word, and in a quarter of an hour +returned in a suit of Le Duc's, but minus the trousers, as she had +certain protuberances which would have stood out too much I told her +to take a pair of my breeches, and we settled to go to the bath next +morning. + +She came to wake at six o'clock. She was dressed like a man, and +wore a blue overcoat which disguised her shape admirably. I rose and +went to La Mata, as the place is called. + +Animated by the pleasure the expedition gave her, my dear Dubois +looked radiant. Those who saw her must have seen through her +disguise, she was so evidently a woman; so she wrapped herself up in +her overcoat as well as she could. + +As soon as we arrived we saw the master of the baths, who asked me if +I wanted a closet for four, and I replied in the affirmative. We +were soon surrounded by the girls, and I shewed my housekeeper the +one who had not seduced me; she made choice of her, and I having +fixed upon a big, determined-looking wench, we shut ourselves up in +the bath. + +As soon as I was undressed I went into the water with my big +attendant. My housekeeper was not so quick; the novelty of the thing +astonished her, and her expression told me that she repented of +having come; but putting a good face on it, she began to laugh at +seeing me rubbed by the feminine grenadier. She had some trouble +before she could take off her chemise, but as it is only the first +step that costs, she let it fall off, and though she held her two +hands before her she dazzled me, in spite of myself, by the beauty of +her form. Her attendant prepared to treat her as she had treated me, +but she begged to be left alone; and on my following her example she +felt obliged to let me look after her. + +The two Swiss girls, who had no doubt often been present at a similar +situation, began to give us a spectacle which was well known to me, +but which was quite strange to my dear Dubois. + +These two Bacchantes began to imitate the caresses I lavished on my +housekeeper, who was quite astonished at the amorous fury with which +my attendant played the part of a man with the other girl. I confess +I was a little surprised myself, in spite of the transports which my +fair Venetian nun had shewn me six years before in conjunction with +C---- C----. + +I could not have imagined that anything of the kind could have +distracted my attention, holding, as I did, the woman I loved, whose +charms were sufficient to captivate all the senses; but the strange +strife of the two young Menads took up her attention as well as mine. + +"Your attendant," said she, "must be a boy, not a girl." + +"But," said I, "you saw her breasts." + +"Yes, but she may be a boy all the same." + +The big Swiss girl who had heard what we had said turned round and +shewed me what I should not have credited. There could be no +mistake, however. It was a feminine membrane, but much longer than +my little finger, and stiff enough to penetrate. I explained to my +dear Dubois what it was, but to convince her I had to make her touch +it. The impudent creature pushed her shamelessness so far as to +offer to try it on her, and she insisted so passionately that I was +obliged to push her away. She then turned to her companion and +satiated on her body her fury of lust. In spite of its disgusting +nature, the sight irritated us to such a degree that my housekeeper +yielded to nature and granted me all I could desire. + +This entertainment lasted for two hours, and we returned to the town +well pleased with one another. On leaving the bath I gave a Louis to +each of the two Bacchantes, and we went away determined to go there +no more. It will be understood that after what had happened there +could be no further obstacle to the free progress of our love; and +accordingly my dear Dubois became my mistress, and we made each other +happy during all the time we spent at Berne. I was quite cured of my +misadventure with the horrible widow, and I found that if love's +pleasures are fleeting so are its pains. I will go farther and +maintain that the pleasures are of much longer duration, as they +leave memories which can be enjoyed in old age, whereas, if a man +does happen to remember the pains, it is so slightly as to have no +influence upon his happiness. + +At ten o'clock the Mayor of Thun was announced. He was dressed in +the French fashion, in black, and had a manner at once graceful and +polite that pleased me. He was middle-aged, and enjoyed a +considerable position in the Government. He insisted on my reading +the letter that M. de Chavigni had written to him on my account. It +was so flattering that I told him that if it had not been sealed I +should not have had the face to deliver it. He asked me for the next +day to a supper composed of men only, and for the day after that, to +a supper at which women as well as men would be present. I went with +him to the library where we saw M. Felix, an unfrocked monk, more of +a scribbler than a scholar, and a young man named Schmidt, who gave +good promise, and was already known to advantage in the literary +world. I also had the misfortune of meeting here a very learned man +of a very wearisome kind; he knew the names of ten thousand shells by +heart, and I was obliged to listen to him for two hours, although I +was totally ignorant of his science. Amongst other things he told me +that the Aar contained gold. I replied that all great rivers +contained gold, but he shrugged his shoulders and did not seem +convinced. + +I dined with M. de Muralt in company with four or five of the most +distinguished women in Berne. I liked them very well, and above all +Madame de Saconai struck me as particularly amiable and well- +educated. I should have paid my addresses to her if I had been +staying long in the so-called capital of Switzerland. + +The ladies of Berne are well though not extravagantly dressed, as +luxury is forbidden by the laws. Their manners are good and they +speak French with perfect ease. They enjoy the greatest liberty +without abusing it, for in spite of gallantry decency reigns +everywhere. The husbands are not jealous, but they require their +wives to be home by supper-time. + +I spent three weeks in the town, my time being divided between my +dear Dubois and an old lady of eighty-five who interested me greatly +by her knowledge of chemistry. She had been intimately connected +with the celebrated Boerhaave, and she shewed me a plate of gold he +had transmuted in her presence from copper. I believed as much as I +liked of this, but she assured me that Boerhaave possessed the +philosopher's stone, but that he had not discovered the secret of +prolonging life many years beyond the century. Boerhaave, however, +was not able to apply this knowledge to himself, as he died of a +polypus on the heart before he had attained the age of perfect +maturity, which Hypocrates fixes at between sixty and seventy years. +The four millions he left to his daughter, if they do not prove that +he could make gold, certainly prove that he could save it. The +worthy old woman told me he had given her a manuscript in which the +whole process was explained, but that she found it very obscure. + +"You should publish it," said I. + +"God forbid!" + +"Burn it, then." + +"I can't make up my mind to do so." + +M. de Muralt took me to see the military evolutions gone through by +the citizens of Berne, who are all soldiers, and I asked him the +meaning of the bear to be seen above the gate of the town. The +German for bear is 'bar', 'bern', and the animal has given its name +to the town and canton which rank second in the Republic, although it +is in the first place for its wealth and culture. It is a peninsula +formed by the Aar, which rises near the Rhine. The mayor spoke to me +of the power of the canton, its lordships and bailiwicks, and +explained his own powers; he then described the public policy, and +told me of the different systems of government which compose the +Helvetic Union. + +"I understand perfectly well," I said, "that each of the thirteen +cantons has its own government." + +"I daresay you do," he replied, "but what you don't understand any +more than I do is, that there is a canton which has four separate +governments." + +I had an excellent supper with fourteen or fifteen senators. There +were no jokes, no frivolous conversation, and no literature; but law, +the commonweal, commerce, political economy, speculation, love of +country, and the duty of preferring liberty to life, in abundance. + +I felt as if I were in a new element, but I enjoyed the privilege of +being a man amidst men who were all in honour to our common humanity. +But as the supper went on, these rigid republicans began to expand, +the discourse became less measured, there were even some bursts of +laughter, owing to the wine. I excited their pity, and though they +praised sobriety they thought mine excessive. However, they +respected my liberty, and did not oblige me to drink, as the +Russians, Swedes, Poles, and most northern peoples do. + +We parted at midnight--a very late hour in Switzerland, and as they +wished me a good night, each of them made me a sincere offer of his +friendship. One of the company at an early period of the supper, +before he had begun to get mellow, had condemned the Venetian +Republic for banishing the Grisons, but on his intellect being +enlightened by Bacchus he made his apologies. + +"Every government," said he, "ought to know its own interests better +than strangers, and everybody should be allowed to do what he wills +with his own." + +When I got home I found my housekeeper lying in my bed. I gave her a +hundred caresses in witness of my joy, and I assured her practically +of my love and gratitude. I considered her as my wife, we cherished +each other, and did not allow the thought of separating to enter our +minds. When two lovers love each other in all freedom, the idea of +parting seems impossible. + +Next morning I got a letter from the worthy Madame d'Urfe, who begged +me to call on Madame de la Saone, wife of a friend of hers--a +lieutenant-general. This lady had come to Berne in the hope of +getting cured of a disease which had disfigured her in an incredible +manner. Madame de la Saone was immediately introduced to all the +best society in the place. She gave a supper every day, only asking +men; she had an excellent cook. She had given notice that she would +pay no calls, and she was quite right. I hastened to make my bow to +her; but, good Heavens! what a terrible and melancholy sight did I +behold! + +I saw a woman dressed with the utmost elegance, reclining +voluptuously upon a couch. As soon as she saw me she arose, gave me +a most gracious reception, and going back to her couch invited me to +sit beside her. She doubtless noticed my surprise, but being +probably accustomed to the impression which the first sight of her +created, she talked on in the most friendly manner, and by so doing +diminished my aversion. + +Her appearance was as follows: Madame de Saone was beautifully +dressed, and had the whitest hands and the roundest arms that can be +imagined. Her dress, which was cut very low, allowed me to see an +exquisite breast of dazzling whiteness, heightened by two rosy buds; +her figure was good, and her feet the smallest I have ever seen. All +about her inspired love, but when one's eyes turned to her face every +other feeling gave way to those of horror and pity. She was fearful. +Instead of a face, one saw a blackened and disgusting scab. No +feature was distinguishable, and her ugliness was made more +conspicuous and dreadful by two fine eyes full of fire, and by a +lipless mouth which she kept parted, as if to disclose two rows of +teeth of dazzling whiteness. She could not laugh, for the pain +caused by the contraction of the muscles would doubtless have drawn +tears to her eyes; nevertheless she appeared contented, her +conversation was delightful, full of wit and humour, and permeated +with the tone of good society. She might be thirty at the most, and +she had left three beautiful young children behind in Paris. Her +husband was a fine, well-made man, who loved her tenderly, and had +never slept apart from her. It is probable that few soldiers have +shewn such courage as this, but it is to be supposed that he did not +carry his bravery so far as to kiss her, as the very thought made one +shudder. A disorder contracted after her first child-bed had left +the poor woman in this sad state, and she had borne it for ten years. +All the best doctors in France had tried in vain to cure her, and she +had come to Berne to put herself into the hands of two well-known +physicians who had promised to do so. Every quack makes promises of +this sort; their patients are cured or not cured as it happens, and +provided that they pay heavily the doctor is ready enough to lay the +fault, not on his ignorance, but at the door of his poor deluded +patient. + +The doctor came while I was with her, and just as her intelligent +conversation was making me forget her face. She had already began to +take his remedies, which were partly composed of mercury. + +"It seems to me," said she, "that the itching has increased since I +have taken your medicines." + +"It will last," said the son of AEsculapius, "till the end of the +cure, and that will take about three months." + +"As long as I scratch myself," said she, "I shall be in the same +state, and the cure will never be completed." + +The doctor replied in an evasive manner. I rose to take my leave, +and holding my hand she asked me to supper once for all. I went the +same evening; the poor woman took everything and drank some wine, as +the doctor had not put her on any diet. I saw that she would never +be cured. + +Her good temper and her charming conversational powers kept all the +company amused. I conceived that it would be possible to get used to +her face, and to live with her without being disgusted. In the +evening I talked about her to my housekeeper, who said that the +beauty of her body and her mental endowments might be sufficient to +attract people to her. I agreed, though I felt that I could never +become one of her lovers. + +Three or four days after, I went to a bookseller's to read the +newspaper, and was politely accosted by a fine young man of twenty, +who said that Madame de la Saone was sorry not to have seen me again +at supper. + +"You know the lady?" + +"I had the honour to sup at her house with you." + +"True; I remember you." + +"I get her the books she likes, as I am a bookseller, and not only do +I sup with her every evening, but we breakfast together every morning +before she gets up." + +"I congratulate you. I bet you are in love with her." + +"You are pleased to jest, but she is pleasanter than you think." + +"I do not jest at all, but I would wager she would not have the +courage to push things to an extremity." + +"Perhaps you would lose." + +"Really? I should be very glad to." + +"Let us make a bet." + +"How will you convince me I have lost?" + +"Let us bet a louis, and you must promise to be discreet." + +"Very good." + +"Come and sup at her house this evening, and I will tell you +something." + +"You shall see me there." + +When I got home I told my housekeeper what I had heard. + +"I am curious to know," said she, "how he will convince you." I +promised to tell her, which pleased her very much. + +I was exact to my appointment. Madame de la Saone reproached me +pleasantly for my absence, and gave me a delicious supper. The young +bookseller was there, but as his sweetheart did not speak a word to +him he said nothing and passed unnoticed. + +After supper we went out together, and he told me on the way that if +I liked he would satisfy me the next morning at eight o'clock. "Call +here, and the lady's maid will tell you her mistress is not visible, +but you have only to say that you will wait, and that you will go +into the ante-chamber. This room has a glass door commanding a view +of madame's bed, and I will take care to draw back the curtains over +the door so that you will be able to see at your ease all that passes +between us. When the affair is over I shall go out by another door, +she will call her maid, and you will be shewn in. At noon, if you +will allow me, I will bring you some books to the 'Falcon,' and if +you find that you have lost you shall pay me my louis." I promised +to carry out his directions, and we parted. + +I was curious to see what would happen, though I by no means regarded +it as an impossibility; and on my presenting myself at eight o'clock, +the maid let me in as soon as I said that I could wait. I found a +corner of the glass door before which there was no curtain, and on +applying my eye to the place I saw my young adventurer holding his +conquest in his arms on the bed. An enormous nightcap entirely +concealed her face--an excellent precaution which favoured the +bookseller's enterprise. + +When the rascal saw that I had taken up my position, he did not keep +me waiting, for, getting up, he presented to my dazzled gaze, not +only the secret treasures of his sweetheart, but his own also. He +was a small man, but where the lady was most concerned he was a +Hercules, and the rogue seemed to make a parade of his proportions as +if to excite my jealousy. He turned his victim round so that I +should see her under all aspects, and treated her manfully, while she +appeared to respond to his ardour with all her might. Phidias could +not have modelled his Venus on a finer body; her form was rounded and +voluptuous, and as white as Parian marble. I was affected in a +lively manner by the spectacle, and re-entered my lodging so inflamed +that if my dear Dubois had not been at hand to quench my fire I +should have been obliged to have extinguished it in the baths of La +Mata. + +When I had told her my tale she wanted to know the hero of it, and at +noon she had that pleasure. The young bookseller brought me some +books I had ordered, and while paying him for them I gave him our bet +and a Louis over and above as a mark of my satisfaction at his +prowess. He took it with a smile which seemed to shew that he +thought I ought to think myself lucky to have lost. My housekeeper +looked at him for some time, and asked if he knew her; he said he did +not. + +"I saw you when you were a child," said she. "You are the son of M. +Mignard, minister of the Gospel. You must have been ten when I saw +you." + +"Possibly, madam." + +"You did not care to follow your father's profession, then?" + +"No madam, I feel much more inclined to the worship of the creature +than to that of the Creator, and I did not think my father's +profession would suit me." + +"You are right, for a minister of the Gospel ought to be discreet, +and discretion is a restraint." + +This stroke made him blush, but we did not give him time to lose +courage. I asked him to dine with me, and without mentioning the +name of Madame de la Saone he told his amorous adventures and +numerous anecdotes about the pretty women of Berne. + +After he had gone, my housekeeper said that once was quite enough to +see a young man of his complexion. I agreed with her, and had no +more to do with him; but I heard that Madame de Saone took him to +Paris and made his fortune. Many fortunes are made in this manner, +and there are some which originated still more nobly. I only +returned to Madame de la Saone to take my leave, as I shall shortly +relate. + +I was happy with my charmer, who told me again and again that with me +she lived in bliss. No fears or doubts as to the future troubled her +mind; she was certain, as I was, that we should never leave each +other; and she told me she would pardon all the infidelities I might +be guilty of, provided I made full confession. Hers, indeed, was a +disposition with which to live in peace and content, but I was not +born to enjoy such happiness. + +After we had been a fortnight at Berne, my housekeeper received a +letter from Soleure. It came from Lebel. As I saw she read it with +great attention, I asked her what it was about. + +"Take it and read it," said she; and she sat down in front of me to +read my soul by the play of my features. + +Lebel asked her, in concise terms, if she would become his wife. + +"I have only put off the proposition," said he, "to set my affairs in +order, and to see if I could afford to marry you, even if the consent +of the ambassador were denied us. I find I am rich enough to live +well in Berne or elsewhere without the necessity of my working; +however I shall not have to face the alternative, for at the first +hint of the matter M. de Chavigni gave his consent with the best +grace imaginable." + +He went on begging her not to keep him long waiting for a reply, and +to tell him in the first place if she consented; in the second, +whether she would like to live at Berne and be mistress in her own +house, or whether she would prefer to return to Soleure and live with +the ambassador, which latter plan might bring them some profit. He +ended by declaring that whatever she had would be for her sole use, +and that he would give her a dower of a hundred thousand francs. He +did not say a word about me. + +"Dearest," said I, "you are at perfect liberty to choose your own +course, but I cannot contemplate your leaving me without considering +myself as the most unhappy of men." + +"And if I lose you I should be the most unhappy of women; for if you +love me I care not whether we are married or no." + +"Very good; but what answer are you going to make." + +"You shall see my letter to-morrow. I shall tell him politely but +plainly that I love you, that I am yours, that I am happy, and that +it is thus impossible for me to accept his flattering propositions. +I shall also say that I appreciate his generosity, and that if I were +wise I should accept him, but that being the slave of my love for you +I can only follow my inclination." + +"I think you give an excellent turn to your letter. In refusing such +an offer you could not have better reasons than those you give, and +it would be absurd to try and persuade him that we are not lovers, as +the thing is self-evident. Nevertheless, my darling, the letter +saddens me." + +"Why, dearest?" + +"Because I have not a hundred thousand francs to offer you." + +"I despise them; and if you were to offer me such a sum, I should +only accept it to lay it at your feet. You are certainly not +destined to become miserable, but if that should come to pass, be +sure that I should be only too happy to share your misery." + +We fell into one another's arms, and love made us taste all its +pleasures. Nevertheless, in the midst of bliss, some tinge of +sadness gained upon our souls. Languishing love seems to redouble +its strength, but it is only in appearance; sadness exhausts love +more than enjoyment. Love is a madcap who must be fed on laughter +and mirth, otherwise he dies of inanition. + +Next day my sweetheart wrote to Lebel in the sense she had decided +on, and I felt obliged to write M. de Chavigni a letter in which +love, sentiment, and philosophy were mingled. I did not conceal from +him that I loved the woman whom Lebel coveted to distraction, but I +said that as a man of honour I would rather die than deprive my +sweetheart of such solid advantages. + +My letter delighted the housekeeper, for she was anxious to know what +the ambassador thought of the affair, which needed much reflection. + +I got on the same day the letters of introduction I had asked Madame +d'Urfe to give me, and I determined, to the joy of my dear Dubois, to +set out for Lausanne. But we must hark back a little. + +When one is sincerely in love, one thinks the beloved object full of +deserts, and the mind, the dupe of the feelings, thinks all the world +jealous of its bliss. + +A. M. de F----, member of the Council of the Two Hundred, whom I had +met at Madame de la Saone's, had become my friend. He came to see me +and I introduced him to my dear Dubois, whom he treated with the same +distinction he would have used towards my wife. He had presented us +to his wife, and had come several times to see us with her and her +daughter Sara. Sara was only thirteen, but she was extremely +precocious, dark complexioned, and full of wit; she was continually +uttering naivetes, of which she understood the whole force, although +looking at her face one would have thought her perfectly innocent. +She excelled in the art of making her father and mother believe in +her innocence, and thus she enjoyed plenty of liberty. + +Sara had declared that she was in love with my housekeeper, and as +her parents laughed at her she lavished her caresses on my dear +Dubois. She often came to breakfast with us, and when she found us +in bed she would embrace my sweetheart, whom she called her wife, +passing her hand over the coverlet to tickle her, telling her that +she was her wife, and that she wanted to have a child. My sweetheart +laughed and let her go on. + +One day I told her jokingly that she would make me jealous, that I +thought she really was a man, and that I was going to make sure. The +sly little puss told me that I was making a mistake, but her hand +seemed rather to guide mine than to oppose it. That made me curious, +and my mind was soon set at rest as to her sex. Perceiving that she +had taken me in and got exactly what she wanted, I drew back my hand, +and imparted my suspicions to my housekeeper, who said I was right. +However, as the little girl had no part in my affections, I did not +push the thing any farther. + +Two or three days after, this girl came in as I was getting up, and +said in her usual simple way, + +"Now that you know I am not really a man you can not be jealous or +have objection to my taking your place beside my little wife, if she +will let me." + +My housekeeper, who looked inclined to laugh, said, + +"Come along." + +In the twinkling of an eye she was undressed and in the arms of her +little wife, whom she proceeded to treat as an amorous husband. My +sweetheart laughed, and Sara, having contrived in the combat to rid +herself of her chemise and the coverlet, displayed herself to me +without any veil, while at the same time she shewed me all the +beauties of my sweetheart. This sight inflamed me. I shut the door, +and made the little hussy witness of my ardour with my sweetheart. +Sara looked on attentively, playing the part of astonishment to +perfection, and when I had finished she said, with the utmost +simplicity, + +"Do it again:" + +"I can't, my dear; don't you see I am a dead man?" + +"That's very funny," she cried; and with the most perfect innocence +she came over, and tried to effect my resurrection. + +When she had succeeded in placing me in the wished-for condition, she +said, "Now go in;" and I should doubtless have obeyed, but my +housekeeper said, "No, dearest, since you have effected its +resurrection, you must make it die again." + +"I should like to," said she, "but I am afraid I have not got enough +room;" and so saying she placed herself in a position to shew me that +she was speaking the truth, and that if she did not make me die it +was not her fault. + +Imitating her simplicity I approached her, as if I wished to oblige +her, but not to go too far; but not finding any resistance I +accomplished the act in all its forms, without her giving the +slightest evidence of pain, without any of the accidents of a first +trial, but, on the contrary, with all the marks of the utmost +enjoyment. + +Although I was sure of the contrary, I kept my self-possession enough +to tell my housekeeper that Sara had given me what can only be given +once, and she pretended to believe me. + +When the operation was finished, we had another amusing scene. Sara +begged us not to say a word about it to her papa or mamma, as they +would be sure to scold her as they had scolded her when she got her +ears pierced without asking their leave. + +Sara knew that we saw through her feigned simplicity, but she +pretended not to do so as it was to her own advantage. Who could +have instructed her in the arts of deceit? Nobody; only her natural +wit, less rare in childhood than in youth, but always rare and +astonishing. Her mother said her simplicities shewed that she would +one day be very intelligent, and her father maintained that they were +signs of her stupidity. But if Sara had been stupid, our bursts of +laughter would have disconcerted her; and she would have died for +shame, instead of appearing all the better pleased when her father +deplored her stupidity. She would affect astonishment, and by way of +curing one sort of stupidity she corroborated it by displaying +another. She asked us questions to which we could not reply, and +laughed at her instead, although it was evident that before putting +such questions she must have reasoned over them. She might have +rejoined that the stupidity was on our side, but by so doing she +would have betrayed herself. + +Lebel did not reply to his sweetheart, but M. de Chavigni wrote me a +letter of four pages. He spoke like a philosopher and an experienced +man of the world. + +He shewed me that if I were an old man like him, and able to insure a +happy and independent existence to my sweetheart after my death, I +should do well to keep her from all men, especially as there was so +perfect a sympathy between us; but that as I was a young man, and did +not intend to bind myself to her by the ties of marriage, I should +not only consent to a union which seemed for her happiness, but that +as a man of honour it was my duty to use my influence with her in +favour of the match. "With your experience," said the kind old +gentleman, "you ought to know that a time would come when you would +regret both having lost this opportunity, for your love is sure to +become friendship, and then another love will replace that which you +now think as firm as the god Terminus. + +"Lebel," he added, "has told me his plans, and far from disapproving, +I have encouraged him, for your charming friend won my entire esteem +in the five or six times I had the pleasure of seeing her with you. +I shall be delighted, therefore, to have her in my house, where I can +enjoy her conversation without transgressing the laws of propriety. +Nevertheless, you will understand that at my age I have formed no +desires, for I could not satisfy them even if their object were +propitious." He ended by telling me that Lebel had not fallen in +love in a young man's style, that he had reflected on what he was +doing, and that he would consequently not hurry her, as she would see +in the letter he was going to send her. A marriage ought always to +be undertaken in cold blood. + +I gave the letter to my housekeeper, who read it attentively, and +gave it back to me quite coolly. + +"What do you think of his advice, dearest?" + +"I think I had better follow it: he says there is no hurry, and delay +is all we want. Let us love each other and think only of that. This +letter is written with great wisdom, but I cannot imagine our +becoming indifferent to each other, though I know such a thing is +possible." + +"Never indifferent; you make a mistake there." + +"Well, friends, then; and that is not much better after being +lovers." + +"But friendship, dearest, is never indifferent. Love, it is true, +may be in its composition. We know it, as it has been thus from the +beginning of the world." + +"Then the ambassador was right. Repentance might come and torment us +when love had been replaced by calmer friendship." + +"If you think so, let us marry each other to-morrow, and punish +thereby the vices of our human nature." + +"Yes, we will marry, but there is no hurry; fearing lest hymen should +quicken the departure of love, let us enjoy our happiness while we +can." + +"You speak admirably, my angel, and deserve the greatest good +fortune." + +"I wish for no greater than what you procure me." + +We went to bed, continuing our discussions, and when we were in each +other's arms we made an arrangement which suited us very well. + +"Lausanne," said she, "is a little town where you would meet with the +warmest hospitality, and during your fortnight's stay you will have +nothing to do but to make visits and to go to suppers. I am known to +all the nobility, and the Duke of Rosebury, who wearied me with his +love-making, is still there. My appearance with you will make +everybody talk, and it will be as annoying for you as for me. My +mother lives there, too. She would say nothing, but in her heart she +would be ill-pleased to see me as the housekeeper of a man like you, +for common sense would inform everyone that I was your mistress." + +I thought she was right, and that it would be well to respect the +rules of society. We decided that she should go to Lausanne by +herself and stay with her mother, that in two or three days I should +follow her, and should live by myself, as long as I liked, having +full liberty to see her at her mother's. + +"When you leave Lausanne," said she, "I will rejoin you at Geneva, +and then we will travel together where you please and as long as our +love lasts." + +In two days she started early in the morning, sure of my constancy, +and congratulating herself on her discretion. I was sad at her +leaving me, but my calls to take leave served to rouse me from my +grief. I wished to make M. Haller's acquaintance before I left +Switzerland, and the mayor, M. de Muralt, gave me a letter of +introduction to him very handsomely expressed. M. de Haller was the +bailiff of Roche. + +When I called to take leave of Madame de la Saone I found her in bed, +and I was obliged to remain by her bedside for a quarter of an hour. +She spoke of her disease, and gave the conversation such a turn that +she was able with perfect propriety to let me see that the ravages of +the disease had not impaired the beauty of her body. The sight +convinced me that Mignard had need of less courage than I thought, +and I was within an inch of doing her the same service. It was easy +enough to look only at her body, and it would have been difficult to +behold anything more beautiful. + +I know well that prudes and hypocrites, if they ever read these +Memoirs, will be scandalized at the poor lady, but in shewing her +person so readily she avenged herself on the malady which had +disfigured her. Perhaps, too, her goodness of heart and politeness +told her what a trial it was to look at her face, and she wished to +indemnify the man who disguised his feelings of repugnance by shewing +him what gifts nature had given her. I am sure, ladies, that the +most prudish--nay, the most virtuous, amongst you, if you were +unfortunate enough to be so monstrously deformed in the face, would +introduce some fashion which would conceal your ugliness, and display +those beauties which custom hides from view. And doubtless Madame de +la Saone would have been more chary of her person if she had been +able to enchant with her face like you. + +The day I left I dined with M---- I----, and was severely taken to +task by pretty Sara for having sent her little wife away before me. +The reader will see how I met her again at London three years later. +Le Duc was still in the doctor's hands, and very weak; but I made him +go with me, as I had a good deal of property, and I could not trust +it to anybody else. + +I left Berne feeling naturally very sad. I had been happy there, and +to this day the thought of it is a pleasant one. + +I had to consult Dr. Herrenschwand about Madame d'Urfe, so I stopped +at Morat, where he lived, and which is only four leagues from Berne. +The doctor made me dine with him that I might try the fish of the +lake, which I found delicious. I had intended to go on directly +after dinner, but I was delayed by a curiosity of which I shall +inform the reader. + +After I had given the doctor a fee of two Louis for his advice, in +writing, on a case of tapeworm, he made me walk with him by the +Avanches road, and we went as far as the famous mortuary of Morat. + +"This mortuary," said the doctor, "was constructed with part of the +bones of the Burgundians, who perished here at the well-known battle +lost by Charles the Bold." + +The Latin inscription made me laugh. + +"This inscription," said I, "contains an insulting jest; it is almost +burlesque, for the gravity of an inscription should not allow of +laughter." + +The doctor, like a patriotic Swiss, would not allow it, but I think +it was false shame on his part. The inscription ran as follows, and +the impartial reader can judge of its nature: + + "Deo. opt. Max. Caroli inclyti et fortisimi Burgundie duds + exercitus Muratum obsidens, ab Helvetiis cesus, hoc sui + monumentum reliquit anno MCDLXXVI." + +Till then I had had a great idea of Morat. Its fame of seven +centuries, three sieges sustained and repulsed, all had given me a +sublime notion of it; I expected to see something and saw nothing. + +"Then Morat has been razed to the ground?" said I to the doctor. + +"Not at all, it is as it always has been, or nearly so." + +I concluded that a man who wants to be well informed should read +first and then correct his knowledge by travel. To know ill is worse +than not to know at all, and Montaigne says that we ought to know +things well. + +But it was the following comic adventure which made me spend the +night at Morat: + +I found at the inn a young maid who spoke a sort of rustic Italian. +She struck me by her great likeness to my fair stocking-seller at +Paris. She was called Raton, a name which my memory has happily +preserved. I offered her six francs for her favours, but she refused +the money with a sort of pride, telling me that I had made a mistake +and that she was an honest girl. + +"It may be so," said I, and I ordered my horses to be put in. When +the honest Raton saw me on the point of leaving, she said, with an +air that was at once gay and timid, that she wanted two louis, and if +I liked to give her them and pass the night with her I should be well +content. + +"I will stay, but remember to be kind." + +"I will." + +When everybody had gone to bed, she came into my room with a little +frightened manner, calculated to redouble my ardour, but by great +good luck, feeling I had a necessity, I took the light and ran to the +place where I could satisfy it. While there I amused myself by +reading innumerable follies one finds written in such places, and +suddenly my eyes lighted on these words:-- + +"This tenth day of August, 1760, the wretched Raton gave me the what- +d'-you-call-it: reader, beware." + +I was almost tempted to believe in miracles, for I could not think +there were two Ratons in the same house. I returned gaily to my room +and found my sweetheart in bed without her chemise. I went to the +place beside the bed where she had thrown it down, and as soon as she +saw me touching it she begged me in a fright not to do so, as it was +not clean. She was right, for it bore numerous marks of the disease +which infected her. It may be imagined that my passion cooled, and +that I sent her away in a moment; but I felt at the same time the +greatest gratitude to what is called chance, for I should have never +thought of examining a girl whose face was all lilies and roses, and +who could not be more than eighteen. + +Next day I went to Roche to see the celebrated Haller. + + + + + +CHAPTER XVIII + +M. Haller--My Stay at Lausanne--Lord Rosebury--The Young Saconai-- +Dissertation on Beauty--The Young Theologian + + +M. Haller was a man six feet high and broad in a proportion; he was a +well-made man, and a physical as well as a mental colossus. He +received me courteously, and when he had read M. de Muralt's letter, +he displayed the greatest politeness, which shews that a good letter +of introduction is never out of place. This learned man displayed to +me all the treasures of his knowledge, replying with exactitude to +all my questions, and above all with a rare modesty which astonished +me greatly, for whilst he explained the most difficult questions, he +had the air of a scholar who would fain know; but on the other hand, +when he asked me a scientific question, it was with so delicate an +art that I could not help giving the right answer. + +M. de Haller was a great physiologist, a great doctor, and a great +anatomist. He called Morgagni his master, though he had himself made +numerous discoveries relating to the frame of man. While I stayed +with him he shewed me a number of letters from Morgagni and +Pontedera, a professor of botany, a science of which Haller had an +extensive knowledge. Hearing me speak of these learned men whose +works I had read at an early age, he complained that Pontedera's +letters were almost illegible and written in extremely obscure Latin. +He shewed me a letter from a Berlin Academician, whose name I have +forgotten, who said that since the king had read his letter he had no +more thoughts of suppressing the Latin language. Haller had written +to Frederick the Great that a monarch who succeeded in the unhappy +enterprise of proscribing the language of Cicero and Virgil from the +republic of letters would raise a deathless monument to his own +ignorance. If men of letters require a universal language to +communicate with one another, Latin is certainly the best, for Greek +and Arabic do not adapt themselves in the same way to the genius of +modern civilization. + +Haller was a good poet of the Pindaric kind; he was also an excellent +statesman, and had rendered great services to his country. His +morals were irreproachable, and I remember his telling me that the +only way to give precepts was to do so by example. As a good citizen +he was an admirable paterfamilias, for what greater proof could he +give of his love of country than by presenting it with worthy +subjects in his children, and such subjects result from a good +education. His wife was still young, and bore on her features the +marks of good nature and discretion. He had a charming daughter of +about eighteen; her appearance was modest, and at table she only +opened her mouth to speak in a low tone to a young man who sat beside +her. After dinner, finding myself alone with M. Haller, I asked him +who this young man was. He told me he was his daughter's tutor. + +"A tutor like that and so pretty a pupil might easily become lovers." + +"Yes, please God." + +This Socratic reply made me see how misplaced my remark had been, and +I felt some confusion. Finding a book to my hand I opened it to +restore my composure. + +It was an octavo volume of his works, and I read in it: + +"Utrum memoria post mortem dubito." + +"You do not think, then," said I, "that the memory is an essential +part of the soul?" + +"How is that question to be answered?" M. de Haller replied, +cautiously, as he had his reasons for being considered orthodox. + +During dinner I asked if M. de Voltaire came often to see him. By +way of reply he repeated these lines of the poet:-- + +"Vetabo qui Cereris sacrum vulgarit arcanum sub usdem sit trabibus." + +I spent three days with this celebrated man, but I thought myself +obliged to refrain from asking his opinion on any religious +questions, although I had a great desire to do so, as it would have +pleased me to have had his opinion on that delicate subject; but I +believe that in matters of that kind M. Haller judged only by his +heart. I told him, however, that I should consider a visit to +Voltaire as a great event, and he said I was right. He added, +without the slightest bitterness, + +"M. de Voltaire is a man who ought to be known, although, in spite of +the laws of nature, many persons have found him greater at a distance +than close at hand." + +M. de Haller kept a good and abundant though plain table; he only +drank water. At dessert only he allowed himself a small glass of +liqueur drowned in an enormous glass of water. He talked a great +deal of Boerhaave, whose favourite pupil he had been. He said that +after Hypocrates, Boerhaave was the greatest doctor and the greatest +chemist that had ever existed. + +"How is it," said I, "that he did not attain mature age?" + +"Because there is no cure for death. Boerhaave was born a doctor, as +Homer was born a poet; otherwise he would have succumbed at the age +of fourteen to a malignant ulcer which had resisted all the best +treatment of the day. He cured it himself by rubbing it constantly +with salt dissolved in his own urine." + +"I have been told that he possessed the philosopher's stone." + +"Yes, but I don't believe it." + +"Do you think it possible?" + +"I have been working for the last thirty years to convince myself of +its impossibility; I have not yet done so, but I am sure that no one +who does not believe in the possibility of the great work can be a +good chemist." + +When I left him he begged me to write and tell him what I thought of +the great Voltaire, and in, this way our French correspondence began. +I possess twenty-two letters from this justly celebrated man; and the +last word written six months before, his too, early death. The +longer I live the more interest I take in my papers. They are the +treasure which attaches me to life and makes death more hateful +still. + +I had been reading at Berne Rousseau's "Heloise," and I asked M. +Haller's opinion of it. He told me that he had once read part of it +to oblige a friend, and from this part he could judge of the whole. +"It is the worst of all romances, because it is the most eloquently +expressed. You will see the country of Vaud, but don't expect to see +the originals of the brilliant portraits which Jean Jacques painted. +He seems to have thought that lying was allowable in a romance, but +he has abused the privilege. Petrarch, was a learned man, and told +no lies in speaking of his love for Laura, whom he loved as every man +loves the woman with whom he is taken; and if Laura had not contented +her illustrious lover, he would not have celebrated her." + +Thus Haller spoke to me of Petrarch, mentioning Rousseau with +aversion. He disliked his very eloquence, as he said it owed all its +merits to antithesis and paradox. Haller was a learned man of the +first class, but his knowledge was not employed for the purpose of +ostentation, nor in private life, nor when he was in the company of +people who did not care for science. No one knew better than he how +to accommodate himself to his company he was friendly with everyone, +and never gave offence. But what were his qualifications? It would +be much easier to say what he had not than what he had. He had no +pride, self-sufficiency, nor tone of superiority--in fact, none of +those defects which are often the reproach of the learned and the +witty. + +He was a man of austere virtue, but he took care to hide the +austerity under a veil of a real and universal kindness. Undoubtedly +he thought little of the ignorant, who talk about everything right or +wrong, instead of remaining silent, and have at bottom only contempt +for the learned; but he only shewed his contempt by saying nothing. +He knew that a despised ignoramus becomes an enemy, and Haller wished +to be loved. He neither boasted of nor concealed his knowledge, but +let it run like a limpid stream flowing through the meadows. He +talked well, but never absorbed the conversation. He never spoke of +his works; when someone mentioned them he would turn the conversation +as soon as he conveniently could. He was sorry to be obliged to +contradict anyone who conversed with him. + +When I reached Lausanne I found myself enabled to retain my incognito +for a day at any rate. I naturally gave the first place to my +affections. I went straight to my sweetheart without needing to ask +my way, so well had she indicated the streets through which I had to +pass. I found her with her mother, but I was not a little astonished +to see Lebel there also. However, my surprise must have passed +unnoticed, for my housekeeper, rising from her seat with a cry of +joy, threw her arms about my neck, and after having kissed me +affectionately presented me to her worthy mother, who welcomed me in +the friendliest manner. I asked Lebel after the ambassador, and how +long he had been at Lausanne. + +He replied, with a polite and respectful air, that his master was +quite well, and that he had come to Lausanne on business, and had +only been there a few hours; and that, wishing to pay his regards to +Madame Dubois's mother, he had been pleasantly surprised to see the +daughter there as well. + +"You know," he added, "what my intentions are. I have to go back to- +morrow, and when you have made up your minds, write to me and I will +come and take her to Soleure, where I will marry her." + +He could not have spoken more plainly or honourably. I said that I +would never oppose the will of my sweetheart, and my Dubois, +interrupting me, said in her turn that she would never leave me until +I sent her away. + +Lebel found these replies too vague, and told me with noble freedom +that we must give him a definite reply, since in such cases +uncertainty spoils all. At that moment I felt as if I could never +agree to his wishes, and I told him that in ten days I would let him +know of our resolution, whatever it was. At that he was satisfied, +and left us. + +After his departure my sweetheart's mother, whose good sense stood +her instead of wit, talked to us in a manner that answered our +inclinations, for, amorous as we were, we could not bear the idea of +parting. I agreed that my housekeeper should wait up for me till +midnight, and that we could talk over our reply with our heads on the +pillow. + +My Dubois had a separate room with a good bed and excellent +furniture. She gave me a very good supper, and we spent a delicious +night. In the morning we felt more in love than ever, and were not +at all disposed to comply with Lebel's wishes. Nevertheless, we had +a serious conversation. + +The reader will remember that my mistress had promised to pardon my +infidelities, provided that I confessed them. I had none to confess, +but in the course of conversation I told her about Raton. + +"We ought to think ourselves very fortunate," said she, "for if it +had not been for chance, we should have been in a fine state now." + +"Yes, and I should be in despair." + +"I don't doubt it, and you would be all the more wretched as I should +never complain to you." + +"I only see one way of providing against such a misfortune. When I +have been unfaithful to you I will punish myself by depriving myself +of the pleasure of giving you proofs of my affection till I am +certain that I can do so without danger." + +"Ah! you would punish me for your faults, would you? If you love me +as I love you, believe me you would find a better remedy than that." + +"What is that?" + +"You would never be unfaithful to me." + +"You are right. I am sorry I was not the first to think of this +plan, which I promise to follow for the future." + +"Don't make any promises," said she, with a sigh, "it might prove too +difficult to keep them." + +It is only love which can inspire such conversations, but +unfortunately it gains nothing by them. + +Next morning, just as I was going out to take my letters, the Baron +de Bercei, uncle of my friend Bavois, entered. + +"I know," said he, "that my nephew owes his fortune to you; he is +just going to be made general, and I and all the family will be +enchanted to make your acquaintance. I have come to offer my +services, and to beg that you will dine with me to-day, and on any +other day you please when you have nothing better to do, and I hope +you will always consider yourself of the family. + +"At the same time I beg of you not to tell anybody that my nephew has +become a Catholic, as according to the prejudices of the country it +would be a dishonour which would reflect on the whole family." + +I accepted his invitation, and promised to say nothing about the +circumstance he had mentioned. + +I left my letters of introduction, and I received everywhere a +welcome of the most distinguished kind. Madame de Gentil-Langalerie +appeared the most amiable of all the ladies I called on, but I had +not time to pay my court to one more than another. Every day +politeness called me to some dinner, supper, ball, or assembly. I +was bored beyond measure, and I felt inclined to say how troublesome +it is to have such a welcome. I spent a fortnight in the little +town, where everyone prides himself on his liberty, and in all my +life I have never experienced such a slavery, for I had not a moment +to myself. I was only able to pass one night with my sweetheart, and +I longed to set off with her for Geneva. Everybody would give me +letters of introduction for M. de Voltaire, and by their eagerness +one would have thought the great man beloved, whereas all detested +him on account of his sarcastic humour. + +"What, ladies!" said I, "is not M. de Voltaire good-natured, polite, +and affable to you who have been kind enough to act in his plays with +him?" + +"Not in the least. When he hears us rehearse he grumbles all the +time. We never say a thing to please him: here it is a bad +pronunciation, there a tone not sufficiently passionate, sometimes +one speaks too softly, sometimes too loudly; and it's worse when we +are acting. What a hubbub there is if one add a syllable, or if some +carelessness spoil one of his verses. He frightens us. So and so +laughed badly; so and so in Alzire had only pretended to weep." + +"Does he want you to weep really?" + +"Certainly. He will have real tears. He says that if an actor wants +to draw tears he must shed them himself." + +"I think he is right there; but he should not be so severe with +amateurs, above all with charming actresses like you. Such +perfection is only to be looked for from professionals, but all +authors are the same. They never think that the actor has pronounced +the words with the force which the sense, as they see it, requires." + +"I told him, one day, that it was not my fault if his lines had not +the proper force." + +"I am sure he laughed." + +"Laughed? No, sneered, for he is a rude and impertinent man." + +"But I suppose you overlook all these failings?" + +"Not at all; we have sent him about his business." + +"Sent him about his business?" + +"Yes. He left the house he had rented here, at short notice, and +retired to where you will find him now. He never comes to see us +now, even if we ask him." + +"Oh, you do ask him, though you sent him about his business?" + +"We cannot deprive ourselves of the pleasure of admiring his talents, +and if we have teased him, that was only from revenge, and to teach +him something of the manners of good society." + +"You have given a lesson to a great master." + +"Yes; but when you see him mention Lausanne, and see what he will say +of us. But he will say it laughingly, that's his way." + +During my stay I often saw Lord Rosebury, who had vainly courted my +charming Dubois. I have never known a young man more disposed to +silence. I have been told that he had wit, that he was well +educated, and even in high spirits at times, but he could not get +over his shyness, which gave him an almost indefinable air of +stupidity. At balls, assemblies--in fact, everywhere, his manners +consisted of innumerable bows. When one spoke to him, he replied in +good French but with the fewest possible words, and his shy manner +shewed that every question was a trouble to him. One day when I was +dining with him, I asked him some question about his country, which +required five or six small phrases by way of answer. He gave me an +excellent reply, but blushed all the time like a young girl when she +comes out. The celebrated Fox who was then twenty, and was at the +same dinner, succeeded in making him laugh, but it was by saying +something in English, which I did not understand in the least. Eight +months after I saw him again at Turin, he was then amorous of a +banker's wife, who was able to untie his tongue. + +At Lausanne I saw a young girl of eleven or twelve by whose beauty I +was exceedingly struck. She was the daughter of Madame de Saconai, +whom I had known at Berne. I do not know her after history, but the +impression she made on me has never been effaced. Nothing in nature +has ever exercised such a powerful influence over me as a pretty +face, even if it be a child's. + +The Beautiful, as I have been told, is endowed with this power of +attraction; and I would fain believe it, since that which attracts me +is necessarily beautiful in my eyes, but is it so in reality? I +doubt it, as that which has influenced me has not influenced others. +The universal or perfect beauty does not exist, or it does not +possess this power. All who have discussed the subject have +hesitated to pronounce upon it, which they would not have done if +they had kept to the idea of form. According to my ideas, beauty is +only form, for that which is not beautiful is that which has no form, +and the deformed is the opposite of the 'pulchrum' and 'formosum'. + +We are right to seek for the definitions of things, but when we have +them to hand in the words; why should we go farther? If the word +'forma' is Latin, we should seek for the Latin meaning and not the +French, which, however, often uses 'deforme' or 'difforme' instead of +'laid', ugly, without people's noticing that its opposite should be a +word which implies the existence of form; and this can only be +beauty. We should note that 'informe' in French as well as in Latin +means shapeless, a body without any definite appearance. + +We will conclude, then, that it is the beauty of woman which has +always exercised an irresistible sway over me, and more especially +that beauty which resides in the face. It is there the power lies, +and so true is that, that the sphinxes of Rome and Versailles almost +make me fall in love with them. though, the face excepted, they are +deformed in every sense of the word. In looking at the fine +proportions of their faces one forgets their deformed bodies. What, +then, is beauty? We know not; and when we attempt to define it or +to enumerate its qualities we become like Socrates, we hesitate. The +only thing that our minds can seize is the effect produced by it, and +that which charms, ravishes, and makes me in love, I call beauty. It +is something that can be seen with the eyes, and for my eyes I speak. +If they had a voice they would speak better than I, but probably in +the same sense. + +No painter has surpassed Raphael in the beauty of the figures which +his divine pencil produced; but if this great painter had been asked +what beauty was, he would probably have replied that he could not +say, that he knew it by heart, and that he thought he had reproduced +it whenever he had seen it, but that he did not know in what it +consisted. + +"That face pleases me," he would say, "it is therefore beautiful!" + +He ought to have thanked God for having given him such an exquisite +eye for the beautiful; but 'omne pulchrum difficile'. + +The painters of high renown, all those whose works proclaim genius, +have excelled in the delineation of the beautiful; but how small is +their number compared to the vast craved who have strained every +nerve to depict beauty and have only left us mediocrity! + +If a painter could be dispensed from making his works beautiful, +every man might be an artist; for nothing is easier than to fashion +ugliness, and brush and canvas would be as easy to handle as mortar +and trowel. + +Although portrait-painting is the most important branch of the art, +it is to be noted that those who have succeeded in this line are very +few. There are three kinds of portraits: ugly likenesses, perfect +likenesses, and those which to a perfect likeness add an almost +imperceptible character of beauty. The first class is worthy only of +contempt and their authors of stoning, for to want of taste and +talent they add impertinence, and yet never seem to see their +failings. The second class cannot be denied to possess real merit; +but the palm belongs to the third, which, unfortunately, are seldom +found, and whose authors deserve the large fortunes they amass. Such +was the famous Notier, whom I knew in Paris in the year 1750. This +great artist was then eighty, and in spite of his great age his +talents seemed in all their freshness. He painted a plain woman; it +was a speaking likeness, and in spite of that those who only saw the +portrait pronounced her to be a handsome woman. Nevertheless, the +most minute examination would not have revealed any faithlessness to +the original, but some imperceptible touches gave a real but +indefinite air of beauty to the whole. Whence does that magic art +take its source? One day, when he had been painting the plain- +looking "Mesdames de France," who on the canvas looked like two +Aspasias, I asked him the above question. He answered:-- + +"It is a magic which the god of taste distils from my brains through +my brushes. It is the divinity of Beauty whom all the world adores, +and which no one can define, since no one knows of what it consists. +That canvas shews you what a delicate shade there is between beauty +and ugliness; and nevertheless this shade seems an enormous +difference to those unacquainted with art." + +The Greek painters made Venus, the goddess of beauty, squint-eyed, +and this odd idea has been praised by some; but these painters were +certainly in the wrong. + +Two squinting eyes might be beautiful, but certainly not so beautiful +as if they did not squint, for whatever beauty they had could not +proceed from their deformity. + +After this long digression, with which the reader may not be very +well pleased, it is time for me to return to my sweetheart. The +tenth day of my visit to Lausanne, I went to sup and sleep with my +mistress, and that night was the happiest I remember. In the +morning, while we were taking coffee with her mother, I observed that +we seemed in no hurry to part. At this, the mother, a woman of few +words, took up the discourse in a polite and dignified manner, and +told me it was my duty to undeceive Lebel before I left; and at the +same time she gave me a letter she had had from him the evening +before. The worthy man begged her to remind me that if I could not +make up my mind to separate from her daughter before I left Lausanne, +it would be much more difficult for me to do so when I was farther +off; above all, if, as would probably be the case, she gave me a +living pledge of her love. He said that he had no thoughts of +drawing back from his word, but he should wish to be able to say that +he had taken his wife from her mother's hands. + +When I had read the letter aloud, the worthy mother wept, and left us +alone. A moment's silence ensued, and with a sigh that shewed what +it cost her, my dear Dubois had the courage to tell me that I must +instantly write to Lebel to give up all pretensions to her, or to +come and take her at once. + +"If I write and tell him to think no more of you, I must marry you +myself." + +"No." + +With this no she arose and left me. I thought it over for a quarter +of an hour, I weighed the pros and cons and still my love shrank from +the sacrifice. At last, on consideration that my housekeeper would +never have such a chance again, that I was not sure that I could +always make her happy, I resolved to be generous, and determined to +write to Lebel that Madame Dubois had decided of her own free will to +become his wife, that I had no right to oppose her resolution, and +that I would go so far as to congratulate him on a happiness I envied +him. I begged him to leave Soleure at once and come and receive her +in my presence from the hands of her worthy mother. + +I signed the letter and took it to my housekeeper, who was in her +mother's room. "Take this letter, dearest, and read it, and if you +approve its contents put your signature beside mine." She read it +several times, while her good mother wept, and then, with an +affectionate and sorrowful air, she took the pen and signed. I +begged her mother to find somebody to take the letter to Soleure +immediately, before my resolution was weakened by repentance. + +The messenger came, and as soon as he had gone, "Farewell," said I, +embracing her, with my eyes wet with tears, "farewell, we shall see +each other again as soon as Lebel comes." + +I went to my inn, a prey to the deepest grief. This sacrifice had +given a new impetus to my love for this charming woman, and I felt a +sort of spasm, which made me afraid I should get ill. I shut myself +up in my room, and I ordered the servants to say I was unwell and +could see no one. + +In the evening of the fourth day after, Lebe1 was announced. He +embraced me, saying his happiness would be due to me. He then left +me, telling me he would expect me at the house of his future bride. + +"Excuse me to-day, my dear fellow," said I, "but I will dine with you +there to-morrow." + +When he had left me, I told Le Duc to make all preparations for our +leaving the next day after dinner. + +I went out early on the following day to take leave of everybody, and +at noon Lebel came to take me to that sad repast, at which, however, +I was not so sad as I had feared. + +As I was leaving I begged the future Madame Lebel to return me the +ring I had given her, and as we had agreed, I presented her with a +roll of a hundred Louis, which she took with a melancholy air. + +"I should never have sold it," she said, "for I have no need of +money." + +"In that case I will give it back to you, but promise me never to +part with it, and keep the hundred Louis as some small reward of the +services you have rendered me." + +She shook my hand affectionately, put on my finger her wedding ring, +and left me to hide her grief. I wiped my tears away, and said to +Lebel, + +"You are about to possess yourself of a treasure which I cannot +commend too highly. You are a man of honour; you will appreciate her +excellent qualities, and you will know how to make her happy. She +will love you only, take care of your household, and keep no secrets +from you. She is full of wit and spirits, and will easily disperse +the slightest shadow of ill humour which may fall on you." + +I went in with him to the mother's room to take leave of her, and +Madame Dubois begged me to delay my departure and sup once more with +her. I told her that my horses were put in and the carriage waiting +at my door, and that such a delay would set tongues talking; but that +if she liked, she, her future husband and her mother, could come and +see me at an inn two leagues off on the Geneva road, where we could +stay as long as we liked. Lebel approved of the plan, and my +proposition was accepted. + +When I got back to my inn I found my carriage ready, and I got in and +drove to the meeting-place, and ordered a good supper for four, and +an hour later my guests arrived. + +The gay and even happy air of the newly betrothed surprised me, but +what astonished me more was the easy way with which she threw herself +into my arms as soon as she saw me. It put me quite out of +countenance, but she had more wit than I. However, I mustered up +sufficient strength to follow her cue, but I could not help thinking +that if she had really loved me she would not have found it possible +to pass thus from love to mere friendship. However, I imitated her, +and made no objections to those marks of affection allowed to +friendship, which are supposed to have no tincture of love in them. + +At supper I thought I saw that Lebel was more delighted at having +such a wife than at the prospect of enjoying her and satisfying a +strong passion. That calmed me; I could not be jealous of a man like +that. I perceived, too, that my sweetheart's high spirits were more +feigned than real; she wished to make me share them so as to render +our separation less bitter, and to tranquillise her future husband as +to the nature of our feelings for one another. And when reason and +time had quieted the tempest in my heart, I could not help thinking +it very natural that she should be pleased at the prospect of being +independent, and of enjoying a fortune. + +We made an excellent supper, which we washed down so well that at +last the gaiety which had been simulated ended by being real. I +looked at the charming Dubois with pleasure; I regarded her as a +treasure which had belonged to me, and which after making me happy +was with my full consent about to ensure the happiness of another. +It seemed to me that I had been magnanimous enough to give her the +reward she deserved, like a good Mussulman who gives a favourite +slave his freedom in return for his fidelity. Her sallies made me +laugh and recalled the happy moments I had passed with her, but the +idea of her happiness prevented my regretting having yielded my +rights to another. + +As Lebel was obliged to return to Lausanne in order to get back to +Soleure in two days, we had to part. I embraced him and asked him to +continue his friendship towards me, and he promised with great +effusion to be my friend till death. As we were going down the +stair, my charming friend said, with great candour, + +"I am not really gay, but I oblige myself to appear so. I shall not +be happy till the scar on my heart has healed. Lebel can only claim +my esteem, but I shall be his alone though my love be all for you. +When we see each other again, as from what you say I hope we shall, +we shall be able to meet as true friends, and perhaps we shall +congratulate each other on the wise part we have taken. As for you, +though I do not think you will forget me, I am sure that before long +some more or less worthy object will replace me and banish your +sorrow. I hope it will be so. Be happy. I may be with child; and +if it prove to be so, you shall have no cause to complain of my care +of your child, which you shall take away when you please. We made an +agreement on this point yesterday. We arranged that the marriage +should not be consummated for two months; thus we shall be certain +whether the child belongs to you or no, and we will let people think +that it is the legitimate offspring of our marriage. Lebel conceived +this plan that he might have his mind at rest on the supposed force +of blood, in which he declares he believes no more than I do. He has +promised to love the child as if he were its father. If you write to +me, I will keep you acquainted with everything; and if I have the +happiness to give you a child, it will be much dearer to me than your +ring." + +We wept, and Lebel laughed to see us. + +I could only reply by pressing her to my breast, and then I gave her +over to her future husband, who told me as he got into the carriage +that our long talk had pleased him very much. + +I went to bed sadly enough. Next morning when I awoke, a pastor of +the Church of Geneva carne to ask me to give him a place in my +carriage. I agreed, and was not sorry I had done so. + +This priest was an eloquent man, although a theologian, who answered +the most difficult religious questions I could put to him. There was +no mystery with him, everything was reason. I have never found a +more compliant Christianity than that of this worthy man, whose +morals, as I heard afterwards at Geneva, were perfectly pure. But I +found out that this kind of Christianity was not peculiar to him, all +his fellow-Calvinists thought in the same way. + +Wishing to convince him that he was a Calvinist in name only, since +he did not believe that Jesus Christ was of the same substance as the +Father, he replied that Calvin was only infallible where he spoke 'ex +cathedra', but I struck him dumb by quoting the words of the Gospel. +He blushed when I reproached him with Calvin's belief that the Pope +was the Antichrist of the Apocalypse. + +"It will be impossible to destroy this prejudice at Geneva," said he, +"till the Government orders the effacement of an inscription on the +church door which everybody reads, and which speaks of the head of +the Roman Church in this manner." + +"The people," he added, "are wholly ignorant; but I have a niece of +twenty, who does not belong to the people in this way. I shall have +the honour of making you known to her; she is a theologian, and +pretty as well." + +"I shall be delighted to see her, but God preserve me from arguing +with her!" + +"She will make you argue, and I can assure you that it will be a +pleasure for you!" + +"We shall see; but will you give me your address?" + +"No sir, but I shall have the honour of conducting you to your inn +and acting as your guide." + +I got down at Balances, and was well lodged. It was the 20th of +August, 1760. On going to the window I noticed a pane of glass on +which I read these words, written with the point of a diamond: "You +will forget Henriette." In a moment my thoughts flew back to the +time in which Henriette had written these words, thirteen years ago, +and my hair stood on end. We had been lodged in this room when she +separated from me to return to France. I was overwhelmed, and fell +on a chair where I abandoned myself to deep thought. Noble +Henriette, dear Henriette, whom I had loved so well; where was she +now? I had never heard of her; I had never asked anyone about her. +Comparing my present and past estates, I was obliged to confess that +I was less worthy of possessing her now than then. I could still +love, but I was no longer so delicate in my thoughts; I had not those +feelings which justify the faults committed by the senses, nor that +probity which serves as a contrast to the follies and frailties of +man; but, what was worst of all, I was not so strong. Nevertheless, +it seemed that the remembrance of Henriette restored me to my +pristine vigour. I had no longer my housekeeper; I experienced a +great void; and I felt so enthusiastic that if I had known where +Henriette was I should have gone to seek her out, despite her +prohibition. + +Next day, at an early hour, I went to the banker Tronchin, who had +all my money. After seeing my account, he gave me a letter of credit +on Marseilles, Genoa, Florence and Rome, and I only took twelve +thousand francs in cash. I had only fifty thousand crowns, three +hundred francs, but that would take me a good way. As soon as I had +delivered my letters, I returned to Balances, impatient to see M. de +Voltaire. + +I found my fellow-traveller in my room. He asked me to dinner, +telling me that I should have M. Vilars-Chandieu, who would take me +after dinner to M. de Voltaire, who had been expecting me for several +days. I followed the worthy man, and found at his house excellent +company, and the young theologian whom the uncle did not address till +dessert. + +I will endeavour to report as faithfully as possible the young +woman's conversation. + +"What have you been doing this morning, my dear niece?" + +"I have been reading St. Augustine, whom I thought absurd, and I +think I can refute him very shortly." + +"On what point?" + +"Concerning the mother of the Saviour." + +"What does St. Augustine say?" + +"You have no doubt remarked the passage, uncle. He says that the +Virgin Mary conceived Jesus Christ through the ears." + +"You do not believe that?" + +"Certainly not, and for three good reasons. In the first place +because God, being immaterial, had no need of a hole to go in or come +out by; in the second place, because the ear has no connection with +the womb; and in the third place, because Mary, if she had conceived +by the ear, would have given birth by the same channel. This would +do well enough for the Catholics," said she, giving me a glance, "as +then they would be reasonable in calling her a virgin before her +conception, during her pregnancy, and after she had given birth to +the child." + +I was extremely astonished, and my astonishment was shared by the +other guests. Divine theology rises above all fleshly +considerations, and after what we had heard we had either to allow +her this privilege, or to consider the young theologian as a woman +without shame. The learned niece did not seem to care what we +thought, as she asked for my opinion on the matter. + +"If I were a theologian and allowed myself an exact examination into +the miracles, it is possible I should be of your opinion; but as this +is by no means the case, I must limit myself to condemning St. +Augustine for having analysed the mystery of the Annunciation. I may +say, however, that if the Virgin had been deaf, St. Augustine would +have been guilty of a manifest absurdity, since the Incarnation would +have been an impossibility, as in that case the nerves of the ear +would have had no sort of communication with the womb, and the +process would have been inconceivable; but the Incarnation is a +miracle." + +She replied with great politeness that I had shown myself a greater +theologian than she, and her uncle thanked me for having given her a +lesson. He made her discuss various subjects, but she did not shine. +Her only subject was the New Testament. I shall have occasion to +speak of this young woman when I get back to Geneva. + +After dinner we went to see Voltaire, who was just leaving the table +as we came in. He was in the middle of a court of gentlemen and +ladies, which made my introduction a solemn one; but with this great +man solemnity could not fail to be in my favour. + + + +End of this Project Gutenberg Etext of MEMOIRES OF JACQUES CASANOVA +THE ETERNAL QUEST, Vol. 3d, SWITZERLAND +by Jacques Casanova de Seingalt diff --git a/old/jcswt10.zip b/old/jcswt10.zip Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..3d8f2e5 --- /dev/null +++ b/old/jcswt10.zip diff --git a/old/jcswt11.txt b/old/jcswt11.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..b608f64 --- /dev/null +++ b/old/jcswt11.txt @@ -0,0 +1,5779 @@ +The Project Gutenberg Etext of Switzerland, by Jacques Casanova +#14 in our series by Jacques Casanova de Seingalt + +Copyright laws are changing all over the world. 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FOR PUBLIC DOMAIN ETEXTS*Ver.10/04/01*END* + + + + + +This etext was produced by David Widger <widger@cecomet.net> + + + + + +MEMOIRS OF JACQUES CASANOVA de SEINGALT 1725-1798 +THE ETERNAL QUEST, Volume 3d--SWITZERLAND + + +THE RARE UNABRIDGED LONDON EDITION OF 1894 TRANSLATED BY ARTHUR +MACHEN TO WHICH HAS BEEN ADDED THE CHAPTERS DISCOVERED +BY ARTHUR SYMONS. + + + + +THE ETERNAL QUEST + + + + +SWITZERLAND + + +CHAPTER XIII + +I Resolve to Become a Monk--I go to Confession--Delay of a Fortnight +--Giustiniani, the Apostle Capuchin--I Alter my Mind; My Reasons--My +Pranks at the Inn--I Dine With the Abbot + + +The cool way in which the abbot told these cock-and-bull stories gave +me an inclination to laughter, which the holiness of the place and +the laws of politeness had much difficulty in restraining. All the +same I listened with such an attentive air that his reverence was +delighted with me and asked where I was staying. + +"Nowhere," said I; "I came from Zurich on foot, and my first visit +was to your church." + +I do not know whether I pronounced these words with an air of +compunction, but the abbot joined his hands and lifted them to +heaven, as if to thank God for touching my heart and bringing me +there to lay down the burden of my sins. I have no doubt that these +were his thoughts, as I have always had the look of a great sinner. + +The abbot said it was near noon and that he hoped I would do him the +honour of dining with him, and I accepted with pleasure, for I had +had nothing to eat and I knew that there is usually good cheer in +such places. I did not know where I was and I did not care to ask, +being willing to leave him under the impression that I was a pilgrim +come to expiate my sins. + +On our way from the church the abbot told me that his monks were +fasting, but that we should eat meat in virtue of a dispensation he +had received from Benedict XIV., which allowed him to eat meat all +the year round with his guests. I replied that I would join him all +the more willingly as the Holy Father had given me a similar +dispensation. This seemed to excite his curiosity about myself, and +when we got to his room, which did not look the cell of a penitent, +he hastened to shew me the brief, which he had framed and glazed and +hung up opposite the table so that the curious and scrupulous might +have it in full view. + +As the table was only laid for two, a servant in full livery came in +and brought another cover; and the humble abbot then told me that he +usually had his chancellor with him at dinner, "for," said he, "I +have a chancery, since as abbot of Our Lady of Einsiedel I am a +prince of the Holy Roman Empire." + +This was a relief to me, as I now knew where I was, and I no longer +ran the risk of shewing my ignorance in the course of conversation. + +This monastery (of which I had heard before) was the Loretto of the +Mountains, and was famous for the number of pilgrims who resorted to +it. + +In the course of dinner the prince--abbot asked me where I came from, +if I were married, if I intended to make a tour of Switzerland, +adding that he should be glad to give me letters of introduction. +I replied that I was a Venetian, a bachelor, and that I should be +glad to accept the letters of introduction he had kindly offered me, +after I had had a private conference with him, in which I desired to +take his advice on my conscience. + +Thus, without premeditation, and scarcely knowing what I was saying, +I engaged to confess to the abbot. + +This was my way. Whenever I obeyed a spontaneous impulse, whenever I +did anything of a sudden, I thought I was following the laws of my +destiny, and yielding to a supreme will. When I had thus plainly +intimated to him that he was to be my confessor, he felt obliged to +speak with religious fervour, and his discourses seemed tolerable +enough during a delicate and appetising repast, for we had snipe and +woodcock; which made me exclaim,-- + +"What! game like that at this time of year?" + +"It's a secret," said he, with a pleased smile, "which I shall be +glad to communicate to you." + +The abbot was a man of taste, for though he affected sobriety he had +the choicest wines and the most delicious dishes on the table. A +splendid salmon-trout was brought, which made him smile with +pleasure, and seasoning the good fare with a jest, he said in Latin +that we must taste it as it was fish, and that it was right to fast a +little. + +While he was talking the abbot kept a keen eye on me, and as my fine +dress made him feel certain that I had nothing to ask of him he spoke +at ease. + +When dinner was over the chancellor bowed respectfully and went out. +Soon after the abbot took me over the monastery, including the +library, which contained a portrait of the Elector of Cologne in +semi-ecclesiastical costume. I told him that the portrait was a good +though ugly likeness, and drew out of my pocket the gold snuffbox the +prince had given me, telling him that it was a speaking likeness. He +looked at it with interest, and thought his highness had done well to +be taken in the dress of a grand-master. But I perceived that the +elegance of the snuff-box did no harm to the opinion the abbot had +conceived of me. As for the library, if I had been alone it would +have made me weep. It contained nothing under the size of folio, the +newest books were a hundred years old, and the subject-matter of all +these huge books was solely theology and controversy. There were +Bibles, commentators, the Fathers, works on canon law in German, +volumes of annals, and Hoffman's dictionary. + +"I suppose your monks have private libraries of their own," I said, +"which contain accounts of travels, with historical and scientific +works." + +"Not at all," he replied; "my monks are honest folk, who are content +to do their duty, and to live in peace and sweet ignorance." + +I do not know what happened to me at that moment, but a strange whim +came into my head--I would be a monk, too. I said nothing about it +at the moment, but I begged the abbot to take me to his private +chamber. + +"I wish to make a general confession of all my sins," said I, "that I +may obtain the benefit of absolution, and receive the Holy Eucharist +on the morrow." + +He made no answer, but led the way to a pretty little room, and +without requiring me to kneel down said he was ready to hear me. + +I sat down before him and for three consecutive hours I narrated +scandalous histories unnumerable, which, however, I told simply and +not spicily, since I felt ascetically disposed and obliged myself to +speak with a contrition I did not feel, for when I recounted my +follies I was very far from finding the remembrance of them +disagreeable. + +In spite of that, the serene or reverend abbot believed, at all +events, in my attrition, for he told me that since by the appointed +means I had once more placed myself in a state of grace, contrition +would be perfected in me. + +According to the good abbot, and still more according to me, without +grace contrition is impossible. + +After he had pronounced the sacramental words which take away the +sins of men, he advised me to retire to the chamber he had appointed +for me, to pass the rest of the day in prayer, and to go to bed at an +early hour, but he added that I could have supper if I was accustomed +to that meal. He told me that I might communicate at the first mass +next morning, and with that we parted. + +I obeyed with a docility which has puzzled me ever since, but at the +time I thought nothing of it. I was left alone in a room which I did +not even examine, and there I pondered over the idea which had come +into my head before making my confession; and I quite made up my mind +that chance, or rather my good genius, had led me to that spot, where +happiness awaited me, and where I might shelter all my days from the +tempests of the world. + +"Whether I stay here," said I, "depends on myself alone, as I am sure +the abbot will not refuse me the cowl if I give him ten thousand +crowns for my support." + +All that was needed to secure my happiness seemed a library of my own +choosing, and I did not doubt but that the abbot would let me have +what books I pleased if I promised to leave them to the monastery +after my death. + +As to the society of the monks, the discord, envy, and all the +bickerings inseparable from such a mode of life, I thought I had +nothing to pass in that way, since I had no ambitions which could +rouse the jealousy of the other monks. Nevertheless, despite my +fascination, I foresaw the possibility of repentance, and I shuddered +at the thought, but I had a cure for that also. + +"When I ask for the habit," I said, "I will also ask that my +novitiate be extended for ten years, and if repentance do not come in +ten years it will not come at all. I shall declare that I do not +wish for any cure or any ecclesiastical dignity. All I want is peace +and leave to follow my own tastes, without scandalising anyone." +I thought: I could easily remove any objections which might be made +to the long term of my novitiate, by agreeing, in case I changed my +mind, to forfeit the ten thousand crowns which I would pay in +advance. + +I put down this fine idea in writing before I went to bed; and in the +morning, finding myself unshaken in my resolve, after I had +communicated I gave my plan to the abbot, who was taking chocolate in +his room. + +He immediately read my plan, and without saying anything put it on +the table, and after breakfast he walked up and down the room and +read it again, and finally told me that he would give me an answer +after dinner. + +I waited till night with the impatience of a child who has been +promised toys on its birthday--so completely and suddenly can an +infatuation change one's nature. We had as good a dinner as on the +day before, and when we had risen from the table the good abbot said, + +"My carriage is at the door to take you to Zurich. Go, and let me +have a fortnight to think it over. I will bring my answer in person. +In the meanwhile here are two sealed letters, which please deliver +yourself." + +I replied that I would obey his instructions and that I would wait +for him at the "Sword," in the hope that be would deign to grant my +wishes. I took his hand, which he allowed me to kiss, and I then set +out for Zurich. + +As soon as my Spaniard saw me the rascal began to laugh. I guessed +what he was thinking, and asked him what he was laughing at. + +"I am amazed to see that no sooner do you arrive in Switzerland than +you contrive to find some amusement which keeps you away for two +whole days." + +"Ah, I see; go and tell the landlord that I shall want the use of a +good carriage for the next fortnight, and also a guide on whom I can +rely." + +My landlord, whose name was Ote, had been a captain, and was thought +a great deal of at Zurich. He told me that all the carriages in the +neighbourhood were uncovered. I said they would do, as there was +nothing better to be had, and he informed me I could trust the +servant he would provide me with. + +Next morning I took the abbot's letters. One was for M. Orelli and +the other for a M. Pestalozzi, neither of whom I found at home; but +in the afternoon they both called on me, asked me to dinner, and made +me promise to come with them the same evening to a concert. This is +the only species of entertainment allowed at Zurich, and only members +of the musical society can be present, with the exception of +strangers, who have to be introduced by a member, and are then +admitted on the payment of a crown. The two gentlemen both spoke in +very high terms of the Abbot of Einsiedel. + +I thought the concert a bad one, and got bored at it. The men sat on +the right hand and the women on the left. I was vexed with this +arrangement, for in spite of my recent conversation I saw three or +four ladies who pleased me, and whose eyes wandered a good deal in my +direction. I should have liked to make love to them, to make the +best of my time before I became a monk. + +When the concert was over, men and women went out together, and the +two citizens presented me to their wives and daughters, who looked +pleasant, and were amongst those I had noticed. + +Courtesy is necessarily cut short in the street, and, after I had +thanked the two gentlemen, I went home to the "Sword." + +Next day I dined with M. Orelli, and I had an opportunity for doing +justice to his daughter's amiability without being able to let her +perceive how she had impressed me. The day after, I played the same +part with M. Pestalozzi, although his charming daughter was pretty +enough to excite my gallantry. But to my own great astonishment I +was a mirror of discretion, and in four days that was my character +all over the town. I was quite astonished to find myself accosted in +quite a respectful manner, to which I was not accustomed; but in the +pious state of mind I was in, this confirmed me in the belief that my +idea of taking the cowl had been a Divine inspiration. Nevertheless, +I felt listless and weary, but I looked upon that as the inevitable +consequence of so complete a change of life, and thought it would +disappear when I grew more accustomed to goodness. + +In order to put myself, as soon as possible, on an equality with my +future brethren, I passed three hours every morning in learning +German. My master was an extraordinary man, a native of Genoa, and +an apostate Capuchin. His name was Giustiniani. The poor man, to +whom I gave six francs every morning, looked upon me as an angel from +heaven, although I, with the enthusiasm of a devotee, took him for a +devil of hell, for he lost no opportunity of throwing a stone at the +religious orders. Those orders which had the highest reputation, +were, according to him, the worst of all, since they led more people +astray. He styled monks in general as a vile rabble, the curse of +the human race. + +"But," said I to him one day, "you will confess that Our Lady of +Einsiedel . . ." + +"What!" replied the Genoese, without letting me finish my remark, "do +you think I should make an exception in favour of a set of forty +ignorant, lazy, vicious, idle, hypocritical scoundrels who live bad +lives under the cloak of humility, and eat up the houses of the poor +simpletons who provide for them, when they ought to be earning their +own bread?" + +"But how about his reverend highness the abbot?" + +"A stuck-up peasant who plays the part of a prince, and is fool +enough to think himself one." + +"But he is a prince." + +"As much a prince as I am. I look upon him as a mere buffoon." + +"What has he done to you?" + +"Nothing; but he is a monk." + +"He is a friend of mine." + +"I cannot retract what I have said, but I beg your pardon." + +This Giustiniani had a great influence upon me, although I did not +know it, for I thought my vocation was sure. But my idea of becoming +a monk at Einsiedel came to an end as follows: + +The day before the abbot was coming to see me, at about six o'clock +in the evening, I was sitting at my window, which looked out on the +bridge, and gazing at the passers-by, when all at once a carriage and +four came up at a good pace and stopped at the inn. There was no +footman on it, and consequently the waiter came out and opened the +door, and I saw four well-dressed women leave the carriage. In the +first three I saw nothing noticeable, but the fourth, who was dressed +in a riding-habit, struck me at once with her elegance and beauty. +She was a brunette with fine and well-set eyes, arched eyebrows, and +a complexion in which the hues of the lily and the rose were mingled. +Her bonnet was of blue satin with a silver fillet, which gave her an +air I could not resist. I stretched out from the window as far as I +could, and she lifted her eyes and looked at me as if I had bade her +do so. My position obliged me to look at her for half a minute; too +much for a modest woman, and more than was required to set me all +ablaze. + +I ran and took up my position at the window of my ante-chamber, which +commanded a view of the staircase, and before long I saw her running +by to rejoin her three companions. When she got opposite to my +window she chanced to turn in that direction, and on seeing me cried +out as if she had seen a ghost; but she soon recollected herself and +ran away, laughing like a madcap, and rejoined the other ladies who +were already in their room. + +Reader, put yourself in my place, and tell me how I could have +avoided this meeting. And you who would bury yourselves in monastic +shades, persevere, if you can, after you have seen what I saw at +Zurich on April 23rd. + +I was in such a state of excitement that I had to lie down on my bed. +After resting a few minutes, I got up and almost unconsciously went +towards the passage window and saw the waiter coming out of the +ladies' room. + +"Waiter," said I, "I will take supper in the dining-room with +everybody else." + +"If you want to see those ladies, that won't do, as they have ordered +their supper to be brought up to them. They want to go to bed in +good time as they are to leave at day-break." + +"Where are they going?" + +"To Our Lady of Einsiedel to pay their vows." + +"Where do they come from?" + +"From Soleure." + +"What are their names?" + +"I don't know." + +I went to lie down again, and thought how I could approach the fair +one of my thoughts. Should I go to Einsiedel, too? But what could I +do when I got there? These ladies are going to make their +confessions; I could not get into the confessional. What kind of a +figure should I cut among the monks? And if I were to meet the +abbot on the way, how could I help returning with him? If I had had +a trusty friend I would have arranged an ambuscade and carried off my +charmer. It would have been an easy task, as she had nobody to +defend her. What if I were to pluck up my heart and beg them to let +me sup in their company? I was afraid of the three devotees; I +should meet with a refusal. I judged that my charmer's devotion was +more a matter of form than any thing else, as her physiognomy +declared her to be a lover of pleasure, and I had long been +accustomed to read womens' characters by the play of their features. + +I did not know which way to turn, when a happy idea came into my +head. I went to the passage window and stayed there till the waiter +went by. I had him into the room, and began my discourse by sliding +a piece of gold into his hand. I then asked him to lend me his green +apron, as I wished to wait upon the ladies at supper. + +"What are you laughing at?" + +"At your taking such a fancy, sir, though I think I know why." + +"You are a sharp fellow." + +"Yes, sir, as sharp as most of them; I will get you a new apron. The +pretty one asked me who you were." + +"What did you tell her?" + +"I said you were an Italian; that's all." + +"If you will hold your tongue I will double that piece of gold." + +"I have asked your Spaniard to help me, sir, as I am single-handed, +and supper has to be served at the same time both upstairs and +downstairs." + +"Very good; but the rascal mustn't come into the room or he would be +sure to laugh. Let him go to the kitchen, bring up the dishes, and +leave them outside the door." + +The waiter went out, and returned soon after with the apron and Le +Duc, to whom I explained in all seriousness what he had to do. He +laughed like a madman, but assured me he would follow my directions. +I procured a carving-knife, tied my hair in a queue, took off my +coat, and put on the apron over my scarlet waistcoat ornamented with +gold lace. I then looked at myself in the glass, and thought my +appearance mean enough for the modest part I was about to play. I +was delighted at the prospect, and thought to myself that as the +ladies came from Soleure they would speak French. + +Le Duc came to tell me that the waiter was going upstairs. I went +into the ladies' room and said, "Supper is about to be served, +ladies." + +"Make haste about it, then," said the ugliest of them, "as we have +got to rise before day-break." + +I placed the chairs round the table and glanced at my fair one, who +looked petrified. The waiter came in, and I helped him to put the +dishes on the table, and he then said to me, "Do you stay here, as I +have to go downstairs." + +I took a plate and stood behind a chair facing the lady, and without +appearing to look at her I saw her perfectly, or rather I saw nothing +else. She was astonished the others did not give me a glance, and +they could not have pleased me better. After the soup I hurried to +change her plate, and then did the same office for the rest: they +helped themselves to the boiled beef. + +While they were eating, I took a boiled capon and cut it up in a +masterly manner. + +"We have a waiter who knows his work," said the lady of my thoughts. + +"Have you been long at this inn?" + +"Only a few weeks, madam." + +"You wait very well." + +"Madam is very good." + +I had tucked in my superb ruffles of English point lace, but my +frilled shirt front of the same material protruded slightly through +my vest, which I had not buttoned carefully. She saw it, and said, +"Come here a moment." + +"What does madam require?" + +"Let me see it. What beautiful lace!" + +"So I have been told, madam, but it is very old. An Italian +gentleman who was staying here made me a present of it." + +"You have ruffles of the same kind, I suppose?" + +"Yes, madam;" and so saying I stretched out my hand, unbuttoning my +waistcoat. She gently drew out the ruffle, and seemed to place +herself in a position to intoxicate me with the sight of her charms, +although she was tightly laced. What an ecstatic moment! I knew she +had recognized me, and the thought that I could not carry the +masquerade beyond a certain point was a veritable torment to me. + +When she had looked a long time, one of the others said, + +"You are certainly very curious, my dear, one would think you had +never seen lace before." + +At this she blushed. + +When the supper was done, the three ugly ladies each went apart to +undress, while I took away the dishes, and my heroine began to write. +I confess that I was almost infatuated enough to think that she was +writing to me; however, I had too high an opinion of her to entertain +the idea. + +As soon as I had taken away the dishes, I stood by the door in the +respectful manner becoming the occasion. + +"What are you waiting for?" she said. + +"For your orders, madam." + +"Thank you, I don't want anything." + +"Your boots, madam, you will like them removed before you retire." + +"True, but still I don't like to give you so much trouble." + +"I am here to attend on you, madam." + +So saying, I knelt on one knee before her, and slowly unplaced her +boots while she continued writing. I went farther; I unbuckled her +garters, delighting in the contemplation and still more in the touch +of her delicately-shaped legs, but too soon for me she turned her +head, and said, + +"That will do, thank you. I did not notice that you were giving +yourself so much trouble. We shall see you to-morrow evening." + +"Then you will sup here, ladies?" + +"Certainly." + +I took her boots away, and asked if I should lock the door. + +"No, my good fellow," said she, in the voice of a syren, "leave the +key inside." + +Le Duc took the charmer's boots from me, and said, laughing,-- + +"She has caught you." + +"What?" + +"I saw it all, sir, you played your part as well as any actor in +Paris; and I am certain that she will give you a louis to-morrow, but +if you don't hand it over to me I will blow on the whole thing." + +"That's enough, you rascal; get me my supper as quickly as possible." + +Such are the pleasures which old age no longer allows me to enjoy, +except in my memory. There are monsters who preach repentance, and +philosophers who treat all pleasures as vanity. Let them talk on. +Repentance only befits crimes, and pleasures are realities, though +all too fleeting. + +A happy dream made me pass the night with the fair lady; doubtless it +was a delusion, but a delusion full of bliss. What would I not give +now for such dreams, which made my nights so sweet! + +Next morning at day-break I was at her door with her boots in my hand +just as their coachman came to call them. I asked them, as a matter +of form, if they would have breakfast, and they replied merrily that +they had made too good a supper to have any appetite at such an early +hour. I went out of the room to give them time to dress, but the +door was half open, and I saw reflected in the glass the snow-white +bosom of my fair one; it was an intoxicating sight. When she had +laced herself and put on her dress she called for her boots. I asked +if I should put them on, to which she consented with a good grace, +and as she had green velvet breeches, she seemed to consider herself +as almost a man. And, after all, a waiter is not worth putting one's +self out about. All the worst for him if he dare conceive any hopes +from the trifling concessions he receives. His punishment will be +severe, for who would have thought he could have presumed so far? +As for me, I am now, sad to say, grown old, and enjoy some few +privileges of this description, which I relish, though despising +myself, and still more those who thus indulge me. + +After she had gone I went to sleep again, hoping to see her in the +evening. When I awoke I heard that the abbot of Einsiedel was at +Zurich, and my landlord told me that his reverend highness would dine +with me in my room. I told him that I wished to treat the abbot +well, and that he must set the best dinner he could for us. + +At noon the worthy prelate was shewn up to my room, and began by +complimenting me on the good reputation I had at Zurich, saying that +this made him believe that my vocation was a real one. + +"The following distich," he added, "should now become your motto: + "Inveni portum. Spes et fortuna valete; + Nil mihi vobiscum est: ludite nuns alios." + +"That is a translation of two verses from Euripides," I answered; +"but, my lord, they will not serve me, as I have changed my mind +since yesterday." + +"I congratulate you," said he, "and I hope you will accomplish all +your desires. I may tell you confidentially that it is much easier +to save one's soul in the world where one can do good to one's +neighbours, than in the convent, where a man does no good to himself +nor to anyone else." + +This was not speaking like the hypocrite Guistiniani had described to +me; on the contrary, it was the language of a good and sensible man. + +We had a princely dinner, as my landlord had made each of the three +courses a work of art. The repast was enlivened by an interesting +conversation, to which wit and humour were not lacking. After coffee +I thanked the abbot with the greatest respect, and accompanied him to +his carriage, where the reverend father reiterated his offers of +serving me, and thus, well pleased with one another, we parted. + +The presence and the conversation of this worthy priest had not for a +moment distracted my thoughts from the pleasing object with which +they were occupied. So soon as the abbot had gone, I went to the +bridge to await the blessed angel, who seemed to have been sent from +Soleure with the express purpose of delivering me from the temptation +to become a monk, which the devil had put into my heart. Standing on +the bridge I built many a fine castle in Spain, and about six in the +evening I had the pleasure of seeing my fair traveller once more. I +hid myself so as to see without being seen. I was greatly surprised +to see them all four looking towards my window. Their curiosity +shewed me that the lady had told them of the secret, and with my +astonishment there was some admixture of anger. This was only +natural, as I not only saw myself deprived of the hope of making any +further advances, but I felt that I could no longer play my part of +waiter with any confidence. In spite of my love for the lady I would +not for the world become the laughing-stock of her three plain +companions. If I had interested her in my favour, she would +certainly not have divulged my secret, and I saw in her doing so +proof positive that she did not want the jest to go any further, or +rather of her want of that spirit so necessary to ensure the success +of an intrigue. If the three companions of my charmer had had +anything attractive about them, I might possibly have persevered and +defied misfortune; but in the same measure as beauty cheers my heart, +ugliness depresses it. Anticipating the melancholy which I foresaw +would result from this disappointment, I went out with the idea of +amusing myself, and happening to meet Giustiniani I told him of my +misfortune, saying that I should not be sorry to make up for it by a +couple of hours of the society of some mercenary beauty. + +"I will take you to a house," said he, "where you will find what you +want. Go up to the second floor and you will be well received by an +old woman, if you whisper my name to her. I dare not accompany you, +as I am well known in the town and it might get me into trouble with +the police, who are ridiculously strict in these matters. Indeed I +advise you to take care that nobody sees you going in." + +I followed the ex-Capuchin's advice and waited for the dusk of the +evening. I had a good reception, but the supper was poor, and the +hours that I spent with two young girls of the working class were +tedious. They were pretty enough, but my head was full of my +perfidious charmer, and besides, despite their neatness and +prettiness, they were wanting in that grace which adds so many charms +to pleasure. The liberality of my payment, to which they were not +accustomed, captivated the old woman, who said she would get me all +the best stuff in the town; but she warned me to take care that +nobody saw me going into her house. + +When I got back Le Duc told me that I had been wise to slip away, as +my masquerade had become generally known, and the whole house, +including the landlord, had been eagerly waiting to see me play the +part of waiter. "I took your place," he added. "The lady who has +taken your fancy is Madame----, and I must confess she is vastly +fine." + +"Did she ask where the other waiter was?" + +"No, but the other ladies asked what had become of you several +times." + +"And Madame said nothing?" + +"She didn't open her mouth, but looked sad and seemed to care for +nothing, till I said you were away because you were ill." + +"That was stupid of you. Why did you say that?" + +"I had to say something." + +"True. Did you untie her shoe?" + +"No; she did not want me to do so." + +"Good. Who told you her name?" + +"Her coachman. She is just married to a man older than herself." + +I went to bed, but could only think of the indiscretion and sadness +of my fair lady. I could not reconcile the two traits in her +character. Next day, knowing that she would be starting early, I +posted myself at the window to see her get into the carriage, but I +took care to arrange the curtain in such a way that I could not be +seen. Madame was the last to get in, and pretending that she wanted +to see if it rained, she took off her bonnet and lifted her head. +Drawing the curtain with one hand, and taking off my cap with the +other, I wafted her a kiss with the tips of my fingers. In her turn +she bowed graciously, returning my kiss with a good-natured smile. + + + + +CHAPTER XIV + +I Leave Zurich--Comic Adventure at Baden--Soleure--M. De Chavigni-- +M. and Madame * * * I Act in a Play--I Counterfeit Sickness to Attain +Happiness + + +M. Mote, my landlord, introduced his two sons to me. He had brought +them up like young princes. In Switzerland, an inn-keeper is not +always a man of no account. There are many who are as much respected +as people of far higher rank are in other countries. But each +country has its own manners. My landlord did the honours of the +table, and thought it no degradation to make his guests pay for the +meal. He was right; the only really degrading thing in the world is +vice. A Swiss landlord only takes the chief place at table to see +that everyone is properly attended to. If he have a son, he does not +sit down with his father, but waits on the guests, with napkin in +hand. At Schaffhaus, my landlord's son, who was a captain in the +Imperial army, stood behind my chair and changed my plate, while his +father sat at the head of the table. Anywhere else the son would +have been waited on, but in his father's house he thought, and +rightly, that it was an honour to wait. + +Such are Swiss customs, of which persons of superficial understanding +very foolishly make a jest. All the same, the vaunted honour and +loyalty of the Swiss do not prevent them from fleecing strangers, at +least as much as the Dutch, but the greenhorns who let themselves be +cheated, learn thereby that it is well to bargain before-hand, and +then they treat one well and charge reasonably. In this way, when I +was at Bale, I baffled the celebrated Imhoff, the landlord of the +"Three Kings." + +M. Ote complimented me on my waiter's disguise, and said he was sorry +not to have seen me officiating, nevertheless, he said he thought I +was wise not to repeat the jest. He thanked me for the honour I had +done his house, and begged me to do him the additional favour of +dining at his table some day before I left. I answered that I would +dine with him with pleasure that very day. I did so, and was treated +like a prince. + +The reader will have guessed that the last look my charmer gave me +had not extinguished the fire which the first sight of her had +kindled in my breast. It had rather increased my flame by giving me +hopes of being better acquainted with her; in short, it inspired me +with the idea of going to Soleure in order to give a happy ending to +the adventure. I took a letter of credit on Geneva, and wrote to +Madame d'Urfe, begging her to give me a written introduction, couched +in strong terms to M. de Chavigni, the French ambassador, telling her +that the interests of our order were highly involved in my knowing +this diplomatist, and requesting her to address letters to me at the +post office at Soleure. I also wrote to the Duke of Wurtemburg, but +had no answer from him, and indeed he must have found my epistle very +unpleasant reading. + +I visited the old woman whom Giustiniani had told me of several times +before I left Zurich, and although I ought to have been well +satisfied as far as physical beauty was concerned, my enjoyment was +very limited, as the nymphs I wooed only spoke Swiss dialect--a +rugged corruption of German. I have always found that love without +speech gives little enjoyment, and I cannot imagine a more +unsatisfactory mistress than a mute, were she as lovely as Venus +herself. + +I had scarcely left Zurich when I was obliged to stop at Baden to +have the carriage M. Ote had got me mended. I might have started +again at eleven, but on hearing that a young Polish lady on her way +to Our Lady of Einseidel was to dine at the common table, I decided +to wait; but I had my trouble for nothing, as she turned out to be +quite unworthy of the delay. + +After dinner, while my horses were being put in, the host's daughter, +a pretty girl enough, came into the room and made me waltz with her; +it chanced to be a Sunday. All at once her father came in, and the +girl fled. + +"Sir," said the rascal, "you are condemned to pay a fine of one +louis." + +"Why?" + +"For having danced on a holy day." + +"Get out; I won't pay." + +"You will pay, though," said he, shewing me a great parchment covered +with writing I did not understand. + +"I will appeal." + +"To whom, sir?" + +"To the judge of the place." + +He left the room, and in a quarter of an hour I was told that the +judge was waiting for me in an adjoining chamber. I thought to +myself that the judges were very polite in that part of the world, +but when I got into the room I saw the rascally host buried in a wig +and gown. + +"Sir," said he, "I am the judge." + +"Judge and plaintiff too, as far as I can see." + +He wrote in his book, confirming the sentence, and mulcting me in six +francs for the costs of the case. + +"But if your daughter had not tempted me." said I, "I should not have +danced; she is therefore as guilty as I." + +"Very true, sir; here is a Louis for her." So saying he took a Louis +out of his pocket, put it into a desk beside him, and said; "Now +yours." + +I began to laugh, paid my fine, and put off my departure till the +morrow. + +As I was going to Lucerne I saw the apostolic nuncio (who invited me +to dinner), and at Fribourg Comte d'Afri's young and charming wife; +but at ten leagues from Soleure I was a witness of the following +curious circumstances. + +I was stopping the night in a village, and had made friends with the +surgeon, whom I had found at the inn, and while supper, which he was +to share with me, was getting ready, we walked about the village +together. It was in the dusk of the evening, and at a distance of a +hundred paces I saw a man climbing up the wall of a house, and +finally vanishing through a window on the first floor. + +"That's a robber," said I, pointing him out to the surgeon. He +laughed and said,-- + +"The custom may astonish you, but it is a common one in many parts of +Switzerland. The man you have just seen is a young lover who is +going to pass the night with his future bride. Next morning he will +leave more ardent than before, as she will not allow him to go too +far. If she was weak enough to yield to his desires he would +probably decline to marry her, and she would find it difficult to get +married at all." + +At Soleure I found a letter from Madame d'Urfe, with an enclosure +from the Duc de Choiseul to the ambassador, M. de Chavigni. It was +sealed, but the duke's name was written below the address. + +I made a Court toilet, took a coach, and went to call on the +ambassador. His excellency was not at home, so I left my card and +the letter. It was a feast-day, and I went to high mass, not so +much, I confess, to seek for God as for my charmer, but she was not +there. After service I walked around the town, and on my return +found an officer who asked me to dinner at the ambassador's. + +Madame d'Urfe said that on the receipt of my letter she had gone +straightway to Versailles, and that with the help of Madame de +Grammont she had got me an introduction of the kind I wanted. This +was good news for me, as I desired to cut an imposing figure at +Soleure. I had plenty of money, and I knew that this magic metal +glittered in the eyes of all. M. de Chavigni had been ambassador at +Venice thirty years before, and I knew a number of anecdotes about +his adventures there, and I was eager to see what I could make out of +him. + +I went to his house at the time appointed, and found all his servants +in full livery, which I looked upon as a happy omen. My name was not +announced, and I remarked that when I came in both sides of the door +were opened for me by the page. A fine old man came forward to meet +me, and paying me many well-turned compliments introduced me to those +present. Then, with the delicate tact of the courtier, pretending +not to recollect my name, he drew the Duc de Choiseul's letter from +his pocket, and read aloud the paragraph in which the minister +desired him to treat me with the utmost consideration. He made me +sit on an easy chair at his right hand, and asked me questions to +which I could only answer that I was travelling for my pleasure, and +that I considered the Swiss nation to be in many respects superior to +all other nations whatsoever. + +Dinner was served, and his excellency set me on his right hand in a +position of equal honour to his own. We were sixteen in company, and +behind every chair stood a magnificent lackey in the ambassador's +livery. In the course of conversation I got an opportunity of +telling the ambassador that he was still spoken of at Venice with the +utmost affection. + +"I shall always remember," he said, "the kindness with which the +Venetians treated me; but tell me, I beg, the names of those +gentlemen who still remember me; they must be quite old now." + +This was what I was waiting for. M. de Malipiero had told me of +certain events which had happened during the regency, and M. de +Bragadin had informed me of the ambassador's amours with the +celebrated Stringhetta. + +His excellency's fare was perfect, but in the pleasure of conversing +I forgot that of eating. I told all my anecdotes so racily that his +features expressed the pleasure I was affording him, and when we rose +from the table he shook me by the hand, and told me he had not had so +agreeable a dinner since he had been at Soleure. + +"The recollection of my Venetian gallantries," said the worthy old +man, "makes me recall many a happy moment; I feel quite young again." + +He embraced me, and bade me consider myself as one of his family +during my stay at Soleure. + +After dinner he talked a good deal about Venice, praising the +Government, and saying that there was not a town in the world where a +man could fare better, provided he took care to get good oil and +foreign wines. About five o'clock he asked me to come for a drive +with him, getting into the carriage first to give me the best place. + +We got out at a pretty country house where ices were served to us. +On our way back he said that he had a large party every evening, and +that he hoped I would do him the honour to be present whenever it +suited my inclinations, assuring me that he would do his best to +amuse me. I was impatient to take part in the assembly, as I felt +certain I should see my charmer there. It was a vain hope, however, +for I saw several ladies, some old and ugly, some passable, but not +one pretty. + +Cards were produced, and I soon found myself at a table with a young +lady of fair complexion and a plain-looking woman well advanced in +years, who seemed, however, not to be destitute of wit. Though I was +looed I played on, and I lost five or six hundred fish without +opening my lips. When it came to a profit and loss account, the +plain woman told me I owed three louis. + +"Three louis, madam." + +"Yes, sir; we have been playing at two sous the fish. You thought, +perhaps, we were playing for farthings." + +"On the contrary, I thought it was for francs, as I never play +lower." She did not answer this boast of mine, but she seemed +annoyed. On rejoining the company after this wearisome game, I +proceeded to scrutinize all the ladies present rapidly but keenly, +but I could not see her for whom I looked, and was on the point of +leaving, when I happened to notice two ladies who were looking at me +attentively. I recognized them directly. They were two of my fair +one's companions, whom I had had the honour of waiting on at Zurich. +I hurried off, pretending not to recognize them. + +Next day, a gentleman in the ambassador's suite came to tell me that +his excellency was going to call on me. I told him that I would not +go out till I had the honour of receiving his master, and I conceived +the idea of questioning him concerning that which lay next to my +heart. However, he spared me the trouble, as the reader will see for +himself. + +I gave M. de Chavigni the best reception I could, and after we had +discussed the weather he told me, with a smile, that he had the most +ridiculous affair to broach to me, begging me to credit him when he +said that he did not believe it for a moment. + +"Proceed, my lord." + +"Two ladies who saw you at my house yesterday told me in confidence, +after you had gone, that I should do well to be on my guard, as you +were the waiter in an inn at Zurich where they had stayed. They +added that they had seen the other waiter by the Aar, and that in all +probability you had run away from the inn together; God alone knows +why! They said, furthermore, that you slipped away from my house +yesterday as soon as you saw them. I told them that even if you were +not the bearer of a letter from his grace the Duc de Choiseul I +should have been convinced that they were mistaken, and that they +should dine with you to-day, if they would accept my invitation. I +also hinted that you might have merely disguised yourself as a waiter +in the hopes of winning some favours from them, but they rejected the +hypothesis as absurd, and said that you could carve a capon and +change a plate dexterously enough, but were only a common waiter for +all that, adding that with my permission they would compliment you on +your skill to-day. + +"'Do so, by all means, ladies,' said I, "M. Casanova and myself will +be highly amused.' And now do you mind telling me whether there be +any foundation of truth in the whole story?" + +"Certainly, my lord, I will tell you all without reserve, but in +confidence, as this ridiculous report may injure the honour of one +who is dear to me, and whom I would not injure for the world." + +"It is true, then? I am quite interested to hear all about it." + +"It is true to a certain extent; I hope you don't take me for the +real waiter at the 'Sword.'" + +"Certainly not, but I supposed you played the part of waiter?" + +"Exactly. Did they tell you that they were four in company." + +"Ah, I have got it! Pretty Madame was one of the party. That +explains the riddle; now I understand everything. But you were quite +right in saying that discretion was needful; she has a perfectly +blameless reputation." + +"Ah! I did not know that. What happened was quite innocent, but it +might be so garbled in the telling as to become prejudicial to the +honour of a lady whose beauty struck me with admiration." + +I told him all the details of the case, adding that I had only come +to Soleure in the hopes of succeeding in my suit. + +"If that prove an impossibility," said I, "I shall leave Soleure in +three or four days; but I will first turn the three ugly companions +of my charmer into ridicule. They might have had sense enough to +guess that the waiter's apron was only a disguise. They can only +pretend to be ignorant of the fact in the hope of getting some +advantage over me, and injuring their friend, who was ill advised to +let them into the secret." + +"Softly, softly, you go too fast and remind me of my own young days. +Permit me to embrace you, your story has delighted me. You shall not +go away, you shall stay here and court your charmer. To-day you can +turn two mischievous women into ridicule, but do it in an easy way. +The thing is so straightforward that M.---- will be the first to +laugh at it. His wife cannot be ignorant of your love for her, and I +know enough of women to pronounce that your disguise cannot have +displeased her. She does know of your love?" + +"Undoubtedly." + +He went away laughing, and at the door of his coach embraced me for +the third time. + +I could not doubt that my charmer had told the whole story to her +three friends as they were returning from Einsiedel to Zurich, and +this made the part they had played all the more ill-natured; but I +felt that it was to my interest to let their malice pass for wit. + +I went to the ambassador's at half-past one, and after making my bow +to him I proceeded to greet the company, and saw the two ladies. +Thereupon, with a frank and generous air, I went up to the more +malicious-looking of the two (she was lame, which may have made me +think her more ill-looking) and asked if she recognized me. + +"You confess, then, that you are the waiter at the 'Sword'?" + +"Well, not quite that, madam, but I confess that I was the waiter for +an hour, and that you cruelly disdained to address a single word to +me, though I was only a waiter, because I longed for the bliss of +seeing you. But I hope I shall be a little more fortunate here, and +that you will allow me to pay you my respectful homage." + +"This is very wonderful! You played your part so well that the +sharpest eye would have been deceived. Now we shall see if you play +your new part as well. If you do me the honour to call on me I will +give you a good welcome." + +After these complimentary speeches, the story became public property, +and the whole table was amusing itself with it, when I had the +happiness of seeing M.---- and Madame coming into the room. + +"There is the good-natured waiter," said she to her husband. + +The worthy man stepped forward, and politely thanked me for having +done his wife the honour of taking off her boots. + +This told me that she had concealed nothing, and I was glad. Dinner +was served, M. de Chavigni made my charmer sit at his right hand, and +I was placed between my two calumniators. I was obliged to hide my +game, so, although I disliked them intensely, I made love to them, +hardly raising my eyes to glance at Madame, who looked ravishing. I +did not find her husband either as old or as jealous as I had +expected. The ambassador asked him and his wife to stay the evening +to an impromptu ball, and then said, that in order for me to be able +to tell the Duc de Choiseul that I was well amused at Soleure, he +would be delighted to have a play, if Madame would act the fair +'Ecossaise' again. She said she should be delighted, but two more +actors were wanted. + +"That is all right," said the kind old gentleman, "I will play +Montrose." + +"And I, Murray," I remarked. + +My lame friend, angry at this arrangement, which only left her the +very bad part of Lady Alton, could not help lancing a shaft at me. + +"Oh! why isn't there a waiter's part in the play?" said she, "you +would play it so well." + +"That is well said, but I hope you will teach me to play Murray even +better." + +Next morning, I got the words of my part, and the ambassador told me +that the ball would be given in my honour. After dinner I went to my +inn, and after making an elaborate toilette I returned to the +brilliant company. + +The ambassador begged me to open the ball, and introduced me to the +highest born but not the most beautiful lady in the place. I then +danced with all the ladies present until the good-natured old man got +me the object of my vows as a partner in the quadrilles, which he did +so easily that no one could have made any remark. "Lord Murray," +said he, "must dance with no one but Lindane." + +At the first pause I took the opportunity of saying that I had only +come to Soleure for her sake, that it was for her sake that I had +disguised myself at Zurich, and that I hoped she would permit me to +pay my addresses to her. + +"I cannot invite you to my house," said she, "for certain sufficient +reasons; but if you will stay here some time we shall be able to see +each other. But I entreat you not to shew me any marked attention in +public, for there are those who will spy upon our actions, and it is +not pleasant to be talked about." + +I was quite satisfied with this, and told her that I would do all in +my power to please her, and that the most prying eyes should have +nothing to fix on. I felt that the pleasure I looked forward to +would be rendered all the sweeter by a tincture of mystery. + +I had proclaimed myself as a novice in the mimic art, and had +entreated my lame friend to be kind enough to instruct me. I +therefore went to her in the morning, but she could only flatter +herself that hers was a reflected light, as I had opportunities for +paying my court to my charmer in her house, and however great her +vanity may have been, she must have had some suspicions of the truth. + +This woman was a widow, aged between thirty and forty years, of a +jaundiced complexion, and a piercing and malicious aspect. In her +efforts to hide the inequality of her legs, she walked with a stiff +and awkward air; and, wishing to be thought a wit, she increased her +natural dullness by a ceaseless flow of small talk. I persisted in +behaving towards her with a great air of respect, and one day she +said that, having seen me in the disguise of a waiter, she would not +have thought I was a man of a timid nature. + +"In what respect do you think me timid?" said I; to which she gave me +no answer, but I knew perfectly well what she meant. I was tired of +my part, and I had determined to play it no more when we had acted +L'Ecossaise. + +All the best people at Soleure were present at our first performance. +The lame lady was delighted with the horror inspired by her acting; +but she might credit a great deal of it to her appearance. M. de +Chavigni drew forth the tears of the audience, his acting was said to +be better than the great Voltaire's. As for me, I remember how near +I was to fainting when, in the third scene of the fifth act, Lindane +said to me, + +"What! You! You dare to love me?" + +She pronounced these words with such fiery scorn that all the +spectators applauded vehemently. I was almost put out of +countenance, for I thought I detected in her voice an insult to my +honour. However, I collected myself in the minute's respite which +the loud applause gave me, and I replied,--- + +"Yes; I adore you! How should I not?" + +So pathetically and tenderly did I pronounce these words that the +hall rang again with the applause, and the encores from four hundred +throats made me repeat the words which, indeed, came from my heart. + +In spite of the pleasure we had given to the audience, we judged +ourselves not perfect in our parts, and M. de Chavigni advised us to +put off our second performance for a couple of days. + +"We will have a rehearsal to-morrow at my country house," said he, +"and I beg the favour of all your companies to dinner there." + +However, we all made each other compliments on our acting. My lame +friend told me I had played well, but not so well as in the part of +waiter, which really suited me admirably. This sarcasm got the laugh +on her side, but I returned it by telling her that my performance was +a work of art, while her playing of Lady Alton was pure nature. +M. de Chavigni told Madame that the spectators were wrong to applaud +when she expressed her wonder at my loving her, since she had spoken +the words disdainfully; and it was impossible that Lindane could have +despised Murray. The ambassador called for me the next day in his +carriage, and when we reached his country-house we found all the +actors assembled there. His excellency addressed himself in the +first place to M.----, telling him he thought his business was as +good as done, and that they would talk about it after dinner. We sat +down to table, and afterwards rehearsed the piece without any need of +the prompter's assistance. + +Towards evening the ambassador told the company that he would expect +them to supper that evening at Soleure, and everyone left with the +exception of the ambassador, myself, and M.---- and Madame----. Just +as we were going I had an agreeable surprise. + +"Will you come with me," said the Ambassador to M.---- , "we can talk +the matter over at our ease? M. Casanova will have the honour of +keeping your wife company in your carriage." + +I gave the fair lady my hand respectfully, and she took it with an +air of indifference, but as I was helping her in she pressed my hand +with all her might. The reader can imagine how that pressure made my +blood circulate like fire in my veins. + +Thus we were seated side by side, our knees pressed tenderly against +each other. Half an hour seemed like a minute, but it must not be +thought that we wasted the time. Our lips were glued together, and +were not set apart till we came within ten paces of the ambassador's +house, which I could have wished at ten leagues distance. She was +the first to get down, and I was alarmed to see the violent blush +which overspread her whole face. Such redness looked unnatural; it +might betray us; our spring of happiness would soon be dry. The +watchful eye of the envious Alton would be fixed upon us, and not in +vain; her triumph would outweigh her humiliation. I was at my wits' +end. + +Love and luck, which have so favoured me throughout the course of my +life, came to my aid. I had about me a small box containing +hellebore. I opened it as if by instinct, and invited her to take a +small pinch. She did so, and I followed her example; but the dose +was too strong, and as we were going up the stairs we began to +sneeze, and for the next quarter of an hour we continued sneezing. +People were obliged to attribute her high colour to the sneezing, or +at least no one could give voice to any other suppositions. When the +sneezing fit was over, this woman, who was as clever as she was +pretty, said her headache was gone, but she would take care another +time not to take so strong a dose. I looked out of the corner of my +eye at the malicious widow, who said nothing but seemed deep in +thought. + +This piece of good luck decided me on staying at Soleure till my love +was crowned with success, and I determined to take a country house. +I shall not have much opinion of my readers if they find themselves +in my position--rich, young, independent, full of fire, and having +only pleasure to seek for--and do not follow my example. A perfect +beauty was before me with whom I was madly in love, and who, I was +sure, shared that love. I had plenty of money, and I was my own +master. I thought this a much better plan than turning monk, and I +was above caring "what people would say." As soon as the ambassador +had returned, which he always did at an early hour on account of his +advanced age, I left the company and went to see him in his private +room. In truth I felt I must give him that confidence which he had +so well deserved. + +As soon as he saw me he said,-- + +"Well, well, did you profit by the interview I got you?" + +I embraced him, and said,-- + +"I may hope for everything." + +When I was telling him about the hellebore he was lavish in his +compliments on my presence of mind, for, as he said, such an unusual +colour would have made people think there had been some kind of a +combat--a supposition which would not have tended towards my success. +After I had told him all, I imparted my plan. + +"I shall do nothing in a hurry," said I, "as I have to take care that +the lady's honour does not suffer, and I trust to time to see the +accomplishment of my wishes. I shall want a pretty country house, a +good carriage, two lackeys, a good cook, and a housekeeper. All that +I leave to your excellency, as I look upon you as my refuge and +guardian angel." + +"To-morrow, without fail, I will see what I can do, and I have good +hopes of doing you a considerable service and of rendering you well +content with the attractions of Soleure." + +Next day our rehearsal went off admirably, and the day after the +ambassador spoke to me as follows: + +"So far as I can see, what you are aiming at in this intrigue is the +satisfying of your desires without doing any harm to the lady's +reputation. I think I know the nature of your love for her well +enough to say that if she told you that your leaving Soleure was +necessary to her peace of mind you would leave her at once. You see +that I have sounded you well enough to be a competent adviser in this +delicate and important affair, to which the most famous events in the +annals of diplomacy are not to be compared." + +"Your excellency does not do sufficient justice to a career which has +gained you such distinction." + +"That's because I am an old man, my dear fellow, and have shaken off +the rust and dust of prejudices, and am able to see things as they +really are, and appreciate them at their true value. But let us +return to your love-affair. If you wish to keep it in the dark, you +must avoid with the greatest care any action which may awaken +suspicion in the minds of people who do not believe that anything is +indifferent. The most malicious and censorious will not be able to +get anything but the merest chance out of the interview I procured +you today, and the accident of the sneezing bout, defy the most ill- +natured to draw any deductions; for an eager lover does not begin his +suit by sending the beloved one into convulsions. Nobody can guess +that your hellebore was used to conceal the blush that your caresses +occasioned, since it does not often happen that an amorous combat +leaves such traces; and how can you be expected to have foreseen the +lady's blushes, and to have provided yourself with a specific against +them? In short, the events of to-day will not disclose your secret. +M.---- who, although he wishes to pass for a man devoid of jealousy, +is a little jealous; M.---- himself cannot have seen anything out of +the common in my asking him to return with me, as I had business of +importance with him, and he has certainly no reasons for supposing +that I should be likely to help you to intrigue with his wife. +Furthermore, the laws of politeness would have forbidden me, under +any circumstances, offering the lady the place I offered him, and as +he prides himself on his politeness he can raise no possible +objection to the arrangement which was made. To be sure I am old and +you are young--a distinction not unimportant in a husband's eyes. +"After this exordium," added the good-natured ambassador, with a +laugh, "an exordium which I have delivered in the official style of a +secretary of state, let us see where we are. Two things are +necessary for you to obtain your wished-for bliss. The first thing, +which concerns you more particularly, is to make M.---- your friend, +and to conceal from him that you have conceived a passion for his +wife, and here I will aid you to the best of my ability. The second +point concerns the lady's honour; all your relations with her must +appear open and above-board. Consider yourself under my protection; +you must not even take a country house before we have found out some +plan for throwing dust into the eyes of the observant. However, you +need not be anxious; I have hit upon a plan. + +"You must pretend to be taken ill, but your illness must be of such a +kind that your doctor will be obliged to take your word for the +symptoms. Luckily, I know a doctor whose sole idea is to order +country air for all complaints. This physician, who is about as +clever as his brethren, and kills or cures as well as any of them, +will come and feel my pulse one of these days. You must take his +advice, and for a couple of louis he will write you a prescription +with country air as the chief item. He will then inform everybody +that your case is serious, but that he will answer for your cure." + +"What is his name?" + +"Doctor Herrenschwand." + +"What is he doing here? I knew him at Paris; he was Madame du +Rumain's doctor." + +"That is his brother. Now find out some polite complaint, which will +do you credit with the public. It will be easy enough to find a +house, and I will get you an excellent cook to make your gruel and +beef-tea." + +The choice of a complaint cost me some thought; I had to give it a +good deal of attention. The same evening I managed to communicate my +plan to Madame who approved of it. I begged her to think of some way +of writing to me, and she said she would. + +"My husband," said she, "has a very high opinion of you. He has +taken no offence at our coming in the same carriage. But tell me, +was it an accident or design that made M. de Chavigni take my husband +and leave us together?" + +"It was the result of design, dearest." She raised her beautiful +eyes and bit her lips. "Are you sorry it was so?" + +"Alas! no." + +In three or four days, on the day on which we were going to act +L'Ecossaise, the doctor came to dine with the ambassador and stayed +till the evening to see the play. At dessert he complimented me on +my good health, on which I took the opportunity, and told him that +appearances were deceitful, and that I should be glad to consult him +the next day. No doubt he was delighted to be deceived in his +estimate of my health, and he said he should be glad if he could be +of any service. He called on me at the hour agreed upon, and I told +him such symptoms as my fancy dictated; amongst other things, that I +was subject to certain nocturnal irritations which made me extremely +weak, especially in the reins. + +"Quite so, quite so; it's a troublesome thing, but we will see what +can be done. My first remedy, which you may possibly not care much +for, is for you to pass six weeks in the country, where you will not +see those objects which impress your brain, acting on the seventh +pair of nerves, and causing that lumbar discharge which no doubt +leaves you in a very depressed state." + +"Yes, it certainly does." + +"Quite so, quite so. My next remedy is cold bathing." + +"Are the baths far from here?" + +"They are wherever you like. I will write you a prescription, and +the druggist will make it up." + +I thanked him, and after he had pouched the double-louis I slipped +politely into his hand, he went away assuring me that I should soon +experience an improvement in my health. By the evening the whole +town knew that I was ill and had to go into the country. M. de +Chavigni said pleasantly at dinner to the doctor, that he should have +forbidden me all feminine visitors; and my lame friend, refining on +the idea, added that I should above all be debarred access to certain +portraits, of which I had a box-full. I laughed approvingly, and +begged M. de Chavigni, in the presence of the company, to help me to +find a pretty house and a good cook, as I did not intend to take my +meals alone. + +I was tired of playing a wearisome part, and had left off going to +see my lame friend, but she soon reproached me for my inconstancy, +telling me that I had made a tool of her. "I know all," said this +malicious woman, "and I will be avenged." + +"You cannot be avenged for nothing," said I, "for I have never done +you an injury. However, if you intend to have me assassinated, I +shall apply for police protection." + +"We don't assassinate here," said she, savagely. "We are not +Italians." + +I was delighted to be relieved from the burden of her society, and +henceforth Madame was the sole object of my thoughts. M. de +Chavigni, who seemed to delight in serving me, made her husband +believe that I was the only person who could get the Duc de Choiseul +to pardon a cousin of his who was in the guards, and had had the +misfortune to kill his man in a duel. "This," said the kindly old +gentleman, "is the best way possible of gaining the friendship of +your rival. Do you think you can manage it?" + +"I am not positive of success." + +"Perhaps I have gone a little too far; but I told him that by means +of your acquaintance with the Duchesse de Grammont you could do +anything with the minister." + +"I must make you a true prophet; I will do all I can." + +The consequence was that M.---- informed me of the facts in the +ambassador's presence, and brought me all the papers relative to the +case. + +I spent the night in writing to the Duchesse de Grammont. I made my +letter as pathetic as possible, with a view to touching her heart, +and then her father's; and I then wrote to the worthy Madame d'Urfe +telling her that the well-being of the sublime order of the Rosy +Cross was concerned in the pardon of a Swiss officer, who had been +obliged to leave the kingdom on account of a duel in which the order +was highly concerned. + +In the morning, after resting for an hour, I went to the ambassador, +and shewed him the letter I had written to the duchess. He thought +it excellently expressed, and advised me to skew it to M.---- I +found him with his night-cap on; he was extremely grateful for the +interest I took in a matter which was so near to his heart. He told +me that his wife had not yet risen, and asked me to wait and take +breakfast with her. I should have much liked to accept the +invitation, but I begged him to make my excuses to his lady for my +absence, on the pretence that I had to finish my letters, and hand +them to the courier who was just leaving. I hoped in this way to +scatter any jealousy that might be hovering in his brain, by the +slight importance I attached to a meeting with his wife. + +I went to dine with M. de Chavigni, who thought my conduct had been +very politic, and said that he was certain that henceforth M.---- +would be my best friend. He then skewed me a letter from Voltaire +thanking him for playing Montrose in his Ecossaise; and another from +the Marquis de Chauvelin, who was then at Delices with the +philosopher of Ferney. He promised to come and see him after he had +been to Turin, where he had been appointed ambassador. + + + + +CHAPTER XV + +My Country House--Madame Dubois--Malicious Trick Played on Me by My +Lame Enemy--My Vexation + +There was a reception and a supper at the Court, as they styled the +hotel of M. de Chavigni, or rather of the ambassador of the King of +France in Switzerland. As I came in I saw my charmer sitting apart +reading a letter. I accosted her, apologizing for not having stayed +to breakfast, but she said I had done quite right, adding that if I +had not chosen a country house she hoped I would take one her husband +would probably mention to me that evening. She could not say any +more, as she was called away to a game at quadrille. For my part I +did not play, but wandered from one table to another. + +At supper everybody talked to me about my health, and my approaching +stay in the country. This gave M.---- an opportunity to mention a +delightful house near the Aar; "but," he added, "it is not to be let +for less than six months." + +"If I like it," I replied, "and am free to leave it when I please, I +will willingly pay the six months' rent in advance." + +"There is a fine hall in it." + +"All the better; I will give a ball as evidence of my gratitude to +the people of Soleure for the kind welcome I have received from +them." + +"Would you like to come and see it to-morrow?" + +"With pleasure." + +"Very good, then I will call for you at eight o'clock, if that hour +will suit you." + +"I shall expect you." + +When I got back to my lodging I ordered a travelling carriage and +four, and the next morning, before eight o'clock, I called for M. +who was ready, and seemed flattered at my anticipating him. + +"I made my wife promise to come with us; but she is a sluggard, who +prefers her bed to the fresh air." + +In less than an hour we reached our journey's end, and I found the +house a beautiful one and large enough to lodge the whole court of a +prince of the Holy Roman Empire. Besides the hall, which I thought +magnificent, I noted with great pleasure a closet arranged as a +boudoir, and covered with the most exquisite pictures. A fine +garden, fountains, baths, several well-furnished rooms, a good +kitchen--in a word, everything pleased me, and I begged M.---- to +arrange for me to take up my abode there in two days' time. + +When we got back to Soleure, Madame told me how pleased she was that +I liked the house; and seizing the opportunity, I said that I hoped +they would often do me the honour of dining with me. They promised +they would do so. I drew from my pocket a packet containing a +hundred louis, which I gave M.---- to pay the rent. I then embraced +him, and after imprinting a respectful kiss on the hand of his fair +mate I went to M. de Chavigni, who approved of my having taken the +house as it pleased my lady, and asked me if it was true that I was +going to give a ball. + +"Yes, if I see any prospect of its being a brilliant one, and if I +have your approbation." + +"You need have no doubts on that point, my dear fellow, and whatever +you can't find in the shops come to me for. Come, I see you are +going to spend a little money. It is a good plan, and overcomes many +difficulties. In the meanwhile you shall have two footmen, an +excellent cook, a housekeeper, and whatever other servants you +require. The head of my household will pay them, and you can settle +with him afterwards, he is a trustworthy man. I will come now and +then and take a spoonful of soup with you, and you shall reward me +for what services I may have done you by telling me how things are +getting on. I have a great esteem for your charming friend, her +discretion is beyond her years, and the pledges of love you will +obtain of her will doubtless increase your passion and your esteem. +Is she aware that I know all?" + +"She knows that we are firm friends, and she is glad of it, as she is +sure that you will be discreet." + +"She may count on my discretion. She is really a delicious woman; I +should have been tempted to seduce her myself thirty years ago." + +A druggist, whom the doctor had recommended to me, set out the same +day to get ready the baths which were to cure me of my imaginary +complaint, and in two days I went myself, after having given Le Duc +orders to bring my baggage on. + +I was extremely surprised, on entering the apartment I was to occupy, +to see a pretty young woman who came up to me in a modest way to kiss +my hand. I stopped her doing so, and my astonished air made her +blush. + +"Do you belong to the household?" I said. + +"The ambassador's steward has engaged me as your housekeeper." + +"Pardon my surprise. Take me to my room." + +She obeyed, and sitting down on the couch I begged her to sit beside +me. + +"That is an honour," said she, in the most polite and modest way, +"I cannot allow myself. I am only your servant." + +"Very good, but when I am alone I hope you will consent to take your +meals with me, as I don't like eating by myself." + +"I will do so, sir." + +"Where is your room?" + +"This is the one the steward assigned to me, but you have only to +speak if you wish me to sleep in another." + +"Not at all; it will do very well." + +Her room was just behind the recess in which my bed stood. I went in +with her and was astonished to see a great display of dresses, and in +an adjoining closet all the array of the toilette, linen in +abundance, and a good stock of shoes and embroidered slippers. Dumb +with surprise I looked at her, and was thoroughly satisfied with what +I saw. Nevertheless I determined to subject her to a close +examination, as I thought her manners too interesting and her linen +too extensive for her to be a mere servant. All at once I was struck +with the idea that it might be a trick of the ambassador's, for a +fine woman, well educated, and aged twenty-four or at the most +twenty-five years, seemed to me more fitted to be my mistress than my +housekeeper. I therefore asked her if she knew the ambassador, and +what wages she was to receive. She replied that she only knew M. de +Chavigni by sight, and that the steward had promised her two louis a +month and her meals in her own room. + +"Where do you come from? What's your name?" + +"I come from Lyons; I am a widow, and my name is Dubois." + +"I am delighted to have you in my service. I shall see you again." + +She then left me, and I could not help thinking her a very +interesting woman, as her speech was as dignified as her appearance. +I went down to the kitchen and found the cook, an honest-looking +fellow, who told me his name was Rosier. I had known his brother in +the service of the French ambassador at Venice. He told me that +supper would be ready at nine o'clock. + +"I never eat by myself," said I. + +"So I hear, sir; and I will serve supper accordingly." + +"What are your wages?" + +"Four louis a month." + +I then went to see the rest of my people. I found two sharp-looking +footmen, and the first of them told me he would see I had what wine I +wanted. Then I inspected my bath, which seemed convenient. An +apothecary was preparing certain matters for my imaginary cure. +Finally, I took a walk round my garden, and before going in I went +into the gate-keeper's, where I found a numerous family, and some +girls who were not to be despised. I was delighted to hear everybody +speak French, and I talked with them some time. + +When I got back to my room, I found Le Duc occupied in unpacking my +mails; and telling him to give my linen to Madame Dubois, I went into +a pretty cabinet adjoining, where there was a desk and all materials +necessary for writing. This closet had only one window facing north, +but it commanded a view capable of inspiring the finest thoughts. I +was amusing myself with the contemplation of this sublime prospect, +when I heard a knock at my door. It was my pretty housekeeper, who +wore a modest and pleasant expression, and did not in the least +resemble a person who bears a complaint. + +"What can I do for you, madam?" + +"I hope you will be good enough to order your man to be polite to +me?" + +"Certainly; how has he failed in politeness?" + +"He might possibly tell you in no respect. He wanted to kiss me, and +as I refused he thought himself justified in being rather insolent." + +"How?" + +"By laughing at me. You will pardon me, sir, but I do not like +people who make game." + +"You are right; they are sure to be either silly or malicious. Make +yourself easy; Le Duc shall understand that you are to be treated +with respect. You will please sup with me." + +Le Duc came in soon after, and I told him to behave respectfully +towards Madame Dubois. + +"She's a sly cat," said the rascal; "she wouldn't let me kiss her." + +"I am afraid you are a bad fellow." + +"Is she your servant or your mistress?" + +"She might be my wife." + +"Oh! well, that's different. That will do; Madame Dubois shall have +all respect, and I will try my luck somewhere else." + +I had a delicious supper. I was contented with my cook, my butler, +my housekeeper, and even with my Spaniard, who waited capitally at +table. + +After supper I sent out Le Duc and the other servant, and as soon as +I was alone with my too lovely housekeeper, who had behaved at table +like a woman of the world, I begged her to tell me her history. + +"My history, sir, is short enough, and not very interesting. I was-- +born at Lyons, and my relations took me to Lausanne, as I have been +told, for I was too young at the time to remember anything about it. +My father, who was in the service of Madame d'Ermance, left me an +orphan when I was fourteen. Madame d'Ermance was fond of me, and +knowing that my mother's means were small she took me to live with +her. I had attained my seventeenth year when I entered the service +of Lady Montagu as lady's maid, and some time after I was married to +Dubois, an old servant of the house. We went to England, and three +years after my marriage I lost my husband. The climate of England +affected my lungs, and I was obliged to beg my lady to allow me to +leave her service. The worthy lady saw how weak I was, and paid the +expenses of my journey and loaded me with rich presents. I returned +to my mother at Lausanne, where my health soon returned, and I went +into the service of an English lady who was very fond of me, and +would have taken me with her to Italy if she had not conceived some +suspicions about the young Duke of Rosebury, with whom she was in +love, and whom she thought in love with me. She suspected me, but +wrongfully, of being her rival in secret. She sent me away, after +giving me rich presents, and saying how sorry she was she could not +keep me. I went back to my mother, and for two years I have lived +with the toil of my hands. Four days ago M. Lebel, the ambassador's +steward, asked me if I would enter the service of an Italian +gentleman as housekeeper. I agreed, in the hope of seeing Italy, and +this hope is the cause of my stupidity. In short: here I am." + +"What stupidity are you referring to?" + +"The stupidity of having entered your service before I knew you." + +"I like your freedom. You would not have come, then, if you had not +known me?" + +"Certainly not, for no lady will ever take me after having been with +you." + +"Why not? may I ask." + +"Well, sir; do you think you are the kind of man to have a house- +keeper like myself without the public believing my situation to be of +quite a different nature?" + +"No, you are too pretty, and I don't look like a fossil, certainly; +but after all, what matter does it make?" + +"It is all very well for you to make light of it, and if I were in +your place I would do the same; but how am I, who am a woman and not +in an independent position, to set myself above the rules and +regulations of society?" + +"You mean, Madame Dubois, that you would very much like to go back to +Lausanne?" + +"Not exactly, as that would not be just to you." + +"How so?" + +"People would be sure to say that either your words or your deeds +were too free, and you might possibly pass a rather uncharitable +judgment on me." + +"What judgment could I pass on you?" + +"You might think I wanted to impose on you." + +"That might be, as I should be very much hurt by so sudden and +uncalled-for a departure. All the same I am sorry for you, as with +your ideas you can neither go nor stay with any satisfaction. +Nevertheless, you must do one or the other." + +"I have made up my mind. I shall stay, and I am almost certain I +shall not regret it." + +"I am glad to hear that, but there is one point to which I wish to +call your attention." + +"What is that?" + +"I will tell you. Let us have no melancholy and no scruples." + +"You shall not see me melancholy, I promise you; but kindly explain +what you mean by the word 'scruples.'" + +"Certainly. In its ordinary acceptation, the word 'scruple' +signifies a malicious and superstitious whim, which pronounces an +action which may be innocent to be guilty." + +"When a course of action seems doubtful to me, I never look upon the +worst side of it. Besides, it is my duty to look after myself and +not other people." + +"I see you have read a good deal." + +"Reading is my greatest luxury. Without books I should find life +unbearable." + +"Have you any books?" + +"A good many. Do you understand English?" + +"Not a word." + +"I am sorry for that, as the English books would amuse you." + +"I do not care for romances." + +"Nor do I. But you don't think that there are only romances in +English, do you? I like that. Why do you take me for such a lover +of the romantic, pray?" + +"I like that, too. That pretty outburst is quite to my taste, and I +am delighted to be the first to make you laugh." + +"Pardon me if I laugh, but . . ." + +"But me no buts, my dear; laugh away just as you like, you will find +that the best way to get over me. I really think, though, that you +put your services at too cheap a rate." + +"That makes me laugh again, as it is for you to increase my wages if +you like." + +"I shall take care that it is done." + +I rose from table, not taken, but surprised, with this young woman, +who seemed to be getting on my blind side. She reasoned well, and in +this first interview she had made a deep impression on me. She was +young, pretty, elegant, intellectual, and of distinguished manners; I +could not guess what would be the end of our connection. I longed to +speak to M. Lebel, to thank him for getting me such a marvel, and +still more, to ask him some questions about her. + +After the supper had been taken away, she came to ask if I would have +my hair put in curl papers. + +"It's Le Duc's business," I answered, "but if you like, it shall be +yours for the future." + +She acquitted herself like an expert. + +"I see," said I, "that you are going to serve me as you served Lady +Montagu." + +"Not altogether; but as you do not like melancholy, allow me to ask a +favour." + +"Do so, my dear." + +"Please do not ask me to give you your bath." + +"Upon my honour, I did not think of doing so. It would be +scandalous. That's Le Duc's business." + +"Pardon me, and allow me to ask another favour." + +"Tell me everything you want." + +"Allow me to have one of the door-keeper's daughters to sleep with +me." + +"If it had come into my head, I would have proposed it to you. Is +she in your room now?" + +"No." + +"Go and call her, then." + +"Let us leave that till to-morrow, as if I went at this time of night +it might make people talk." + +"I see you have a store of discretion, and you may be sure I will not +deprive you of any of it." + +She helped me to undress, and must have found me very modest, but I +must say it was not from virtue. My heart was engaged elsewhere, and +Madame Dubois had impressed me; I was possibly duped by her, but I +did not trouble myself to think whether I was or not. I rang for Le +Duc in the morning, and on coming in he said he had not expected the +honour. + +"You're a rascal," I said, "get two cups of chocolate ready directly +after I have had my bath." + +After I had taken my first cold bath, which I greatly enjoyed, I went +to bed again. Madame Dubois came in smiling, dressed in a style of +careless elegance. + +"You look in good spirits." + +"I am, because I am happy with you. I have had a good night, and +there is now in my room a girl as lovely as an angel, who is to sleep +with me." + +"Call her in." + +She called her, and a monster of ugliness entered, who made me turn +my head away. + +"You haven't given yourself a rival certainly, my dear, but if she +suits you it is all right. You shall have your breakfast with me, +and I hope you will take chocolate with me every morning." + +"I shall be delighted, as I am very fond of it." + +I had a pleasant afternoon. M. de Chavigni spent several hours with +me. He was pleased with everything, and above all with my fair +housekeeper, of whom Lebel had said nothing to him. + +"She will be an excellent cure for your love for Madame," said he. + +"There you are wrong," I answered, "she might make me fall in love +with her without any diminution of my affection for my charmer." + +Next day, just as I was sitting down to table with my housekeeper, I +saw a carriage coming into the courtyard, and my detestable lame +widow getting out of it. I was terribly put out, but the rules of +politeness compelled me to go and receive her. + +"I was far from anticipating that you would do me so great an honour, +madam." + +"I daresay; I have come to dine with you, and to ask you to do me a +favour." + +"Come in, then, dinner is just being served. I beg to introduce +Madame Dubois to you." + +I turned towards my charming housekeeper, and told her that the lady +would dine with us. + +Madame Dubois, in the character of mistress of the house, did the +honours admirably, and my lame friend, in spite of her pride, was +very polite to her. I did not speak a dozen words during the meal, +and paid no sort of attention to the detestable creature; but I was +anxious to know what she could want me to do for her. As soon as +Madame Dubois had left the room she told me straight out that she had +come to ask me to let her have a couple of rooms in my house for +three weeks or a month at the most. + +I was astonished at such a piece of impudence, and told her she asked +more than I was at liberty to give. + +"You can't refuse me, as everybody knows I have come on purpose to +ask you." + +"Then everybody must know that I have refused you. I want to be +alone--absolutely alone, without any kind of restriction on my +liberty. The least suspicion of company would bore me." + +"I shall not bore you in any way, and you will be at perfect liberty +to ignore my presence. I shall not be offended if you don't enquire +after me, and I shall not ask after you--even if you are ill. I +shall have my meals served to me by my own servant, and I shall take +care not to walk in the garden unless I am perfectly certain you are +not there. You must allow that if you have any claims to politeness +you cannot refuse me." + +"If you were acquainted with the most ordinary rules of politeness, +madam, you would not persist in a request to which I have formally +declined to accede." + +She did not answer, but my words had evidently produced no effect. +I was choking with rage. I strode up and down the room, and felt +inclined to send her away by force as a madwoman. However, I +reflected that she had relations in a good position whom I might +offend if I treated her roughly, and that I might make an enemy +capable of exacting a terrible revenge; and, finally, that Madame +might disapprove of my using violence to this hideous harpy.... + +"Well, madam," said I, "you shall have the apartment you have +solicited with so much importunity, and an hour after you come in I +shall be on my way back to Soleure." + +"I accept the apartment, and I shall occupy it the day after to- +morrow. As for your threat of returning to Soleure, it is an idle +one, as you would thereby make yourself the laughing-stock of the +whole town." + +With this final impertinence she rose and went away, without taking +any further notice of me. I let her go without moving from my seat. +I was stupefied. I repented of having given in; such impudence was +unparalleled. I called myself a fool, and vowed I deserved to be +publicly hooted. I ought to have taken the whole thing as a jest; to +have contrived to get her out of the house on some pretext, and then +to have sent her about her business as a madwoman, calling all my +servants as witnesses. + +My dear Dubois came in, and I told my tale. She was thunderstruck. + +"I can hardly credit her requesting, or your granting, such a thing," +said she, "unless you have some motives of your own." + +I saw the force of her argument, and not wishing to make a confidante +of her I held my tongue, and went out to work off my bile. + +I came in tired, after taking a stiff walk. I took supper with +Madame Dubois, and we sat at table till midnight. Her conversation +pleased me more and more; her mind was well-furnished, her speech +elegant, and she told her stories and cracked her jokes with charming +grace. She was devoid of prejudices, but by no means devoid of +principle. Her discretion was rather the result of system than of +virtue; but if she had not a virtuous spirit, her system would not +have shielded her from the storms of passion or the seductions of +vice. + +My encounter with the impudent widow had so affected me that I could +not resist going at an early hour on the following day to communicate +it to M. de Chavigni. I warned Madame Dubois that if I were not back +by dinner-time she was not to wait for me. + +M. de Chavigni had been told by my enemy that she was going to pay me +a visit, but he roared with laughter on hearing the steps she had +taken to gain her ends. + +"Your excellency may find it very funny," said I, "but I don't." + +"So I see; but take my advice, and be the first to laugh at the +adventure. Behave as if you were unaware of her presence, and that +will be a sufficient punishment for her. People will soon say she is +smitten with you, and that you disdain her love. Go and tell the +story to M.----, and stay without ceremony to dinner. I have spoken +to Lebel about your pretty housekeeper: the worthy man had no +malicious intent in sending her to you. He happened to be going to +Lausanne, and just before, I had told him to find you a good +housekeeper; thinking it over on his way, he remembered his friend +Madame Dubois, and the matter was thus arranged without malice or +pretense. She is a regular find, a perfect jewel for you, and if you +get taken with her I don't think she will allow you to languish for +long." + +"I don't know, she seems to be a woman of principle." + +"I shouldn't have thought you would be taken in by that sort of +thing. I will ask you both to give me a dinner to-morrow, and shall +be glad to hear her chatter." + +M---- welcomed me most kindly, and congratulated me on my conquest, +which would make my country house a paradise. I joined in the jest, +of course, with the more ease that his charming wife, though I could +see that she suspected the truth, added her congratulations to those +of her husband; but I soon changed the course of their friendly mirth +by telling them the circumstances of the case. They were indignant +enough then, and the husband said that if she had really quartered +herself on me in that fashion, all I had to do was to get an +injunction from the courts forbidding her to put her foot within my +doors. + +"I don't want to do that," said I, "as besides publicly disgracing +her I should be skewing my own weakness, and proclaiming that I was +not the master in my own house, and that I could not prevent her +establishing herself with me." + +"I think so, too," said the wife, "and I am glad you gave way to her. +That shews how polite you are, and I shall go and call on her to +congratulate her on the welcome she got, as she told me that her +plans had succeeded." + +Here the matter ended, and I accepted their invitation to dine with +them. I behaved as a friend, but with that subtle politeness which +takes away all ground for suspicion; accordingly, the husband felt no +alarm. My charmer found the opportunity to tell me that I had done +wisely in yielding to the ill-timed demand of that harpy, and that as +soon as M. de Chauvelin, whom they were expecting, had gone away +again, I could ask her husband to spend a few days with me, and that +she would doubtless come too. + +"Your door-keeper's wife," she added, "was my nurse. I have been +kind to her, and when necessary I can write to you by her without +running any risk." + +After calling on two Italian Jesuits who were passing through +Soleure, and inviting them to dine with me on the following day, I +returned home where the good Dubois amused me till midnight by +philosophical discussions. She admired Locke; and maintained that +the faculty of thought was not a proof of the existence of spirit in +us, as it was in the power of God to endow matter with the capacity +for thought; I was unable to controvert this position. She made me +laugh by saying that there was a great difference between thinking +and reasoning, and I had the courage to say,-- + +"I think you would reason well if you let yourself be persuaded to +sleep with me, and you think you reason well in refusing to be so +persuaded." + +"Trust me, sir," said she; "there is as much difference between the +reasoning powers of men and women as there is between their physical +characteristics." + +Next morning at nine o'clock we were taking our chocolate, when my +enemy arrived. I heard her carriage, but I did not take the +slightest notice. The villainous woman sent away the carriage and +installed herself in her room with her maid. + +I had sent Le Duc to Soleure for my letters, so I was obliged to beg +my housekeeper to do my hair; and she did it admirably, as I told her +we should have the ambassador and the two Jesuits to dinner. I +thanked her, and kissed her for the first time on the cheek, as she +would not allow me to touch her beautiful lips. I felt that we were +fast falling in love with one another, but we continued to keep +ourselves under control, a task which was much easier for her than +for me, as she was helped by that spirit of coquetry natural to the +fair sex, which often has greater power over them than love itself. + +M. de Chavigni came at two; I had consulted him before asking the +Jesuits, and had sent my carriage for them. While we were waiting +for these gentlemen we took a turn in the garden, and M. de Chavigni +begged my fair housekeeper to join us as soon as she had discharged +certain petty duties in which she was then engaged. + +M. de Chavigni was one of those men who were sent by France to such +powers as she wished to cajole and to win over to her interests. +M. de l'Hopital, who knew how to gain the heart of Elizabeth +Petrovna, was another; the Duc de Nivernois, who did what he liked +with the Court of St. James's in 1762, is a third instance. + +Madame Dubois came out to us in due course, and entertained us very +agreeably; and M. de Chavigni told me that he considered she had all +the qualities which would make a man happy. At dinner she enchanted +him and captivated the two Jesuits by her delicate and subtle wit. +In the evening this delightful old nobleman told me he had spent a +most pleasant day, and after asking me to dine at his house while M. +de Chauvelin was there, he left me with an effusive embrace. + +M. de Chauvelin, whom I had the honour to know at Versailles, at M. +de Choiseul's, was an extremely pleasant man. He arrived at Soleure +in the course of two days, and M. de Chavigni having advised me of +his presence I hastened to pay my court to him. He remembered me, +and introduced me to his wife, whom I had not the honour of knowing. +As chance placed me next to my charmer at table, my spirits rose, and +my numerous jests and stories put everybody in a good temper. On M. +de Chauvelin remarking that he knew some pleasant histories of which +I was the hero, M. de Chavigni told him that he did not know the best +of all, and recounted to him my adventure at Zurich. M. de Chauvelin +then told Madame that to serve her he would willingly transform +himself into a footman, on which M. ---- joined in and said that I +had a finer taste for beauty, as she, for whose sake I had made +myself into a waiter, was at that moment a guest of mine in my +country house. + +"Ah, indeed!" said M. de Chauvelin, "then we must come and see your +quarters, M. Casanova." + +I was going to reply, when M. de Chavigni anticipated me by saying, + +"Yes, indeed! and I hope he will lend me his beautiful hall to give +you a ball next Sunday." + +In this manner the good-natured courtier prevented me from promising +to give a ball myself, and relieved me of my foolish boast, which I +should have been wrong in carrying out, as it would have been an +encroachment on his privilege as ambassador of entertaining these +distinguished strangers during the five or six days they might stay +at Soleure. Besides, if I had kept to my word, it would have +involved me in a considerable expense, which would not have helped me +in my suit. + +The conversation turning on Voltaire, the Ecossaise was mentioned, +and the acting of my neighbour was highly commended in words that +made her blush and shine in her beauty like a star, whereat her +praises were renewed. + +After dinner the ambassador invited us to his ball on the day after +the morrow, and I went home more deeply in love than ever with my +dear charmer, whom Heaven had designed to inflict on me the greatest +grief I have had in my life, as the reader shall see. + +I found that my housekeeper had gone to bed, and I was glad of it, +for the presence of my fair one had excited my passions to such an +extent that my reason might have failed to keep me within the bounds +of respect. Next morning she found me sad, and rallied me in such a +way that I soon recovered my spirits. While we were taking our +chocolate the lame creature's maid brought me a note, and I sent her +away, telling her that I would send the answer by my own servant. +This curious letter ran as follows: + +"The ambassador has asked me to his ball on Sunday. I answered that +I was not well, but if I found myself better in the evening I would +come. I think that as I am staying in your house I ought to be +introduced by you or stay away altogether. So if you do not wish to +oblige me by taking me, I must beg of you to tell the ambassador that +I am ill. Pardon me if I have taken the liberty of infringing our +agreement in this peculiar instance, but it is a question of keeping +up some sort of appearance in public." + +"Not so," I cried, mad with rage; and taking my pen I wrote thus: + +"I think your idea is a beautiful one, madam. You will have to be +ill, as I mean to keep to the conditions you made yourself, and to +enjoy full liberty in all things, and I shall therefore deny myself +the honour of taking you to the ball which the ambassador is to give +in my hall." + +I read her insolent letter and my reply to my housekeeper, who +thought the answer just what she deserved. I then sent it to her. + +I passed the next two days quietly and agreeably without going out or +seeing any visitors, but the society of Madame Dubois was all- +sufficient for me. Early on Sunday morning the ambassador's people +came to make the necessary preparations for the ball and supper. +Lebel came to pay me his respects while I was at table. I made him +sit down, while I thanked him for procuring me a housekeeper who was +all perfection. + +Lebel was a fine man, middle-aged, witty, and an excellent steward, +though perfectly honest. + +"Which of you two," said he to me, "is the most taken in?" + +"We are equally pleased with each other," answered my charming +housekeeper. + +To my great delight the first pair to appear were M.---- and Madame. +She was extremely polite to Madame Dubois, and did not shew the +slightest astonishment when I introduced her as my housekeeper. She +told me that I must take her to see her lame friend, and to my great +disgust I had to go. We were received with a show of great +friendship, and she went out with us into the garden, taking M.----'s +arm, while his wife leant amorously on mine. + +When we had made a few turns of the garden, Madame begged me to take +her to her nurse. As her husband was close by, I said,-- + +"Who is your nurse?" + +"Your door-keeper's wife," said her husband, "we will wait for you in +this lady's apartment." + +"Tell me, sweetheart," said she on the way, "does not your pretty +housekeeper sleep with you?" + +"I swear she does not; I can only love you." + +"I would like to believe you, but I find it hard to do so; however, +if you are speaking the truth it is wrong of you to keep her in the +house, as nobody will believe in your innocence." + +"It is enough for me that you believe in it. I admire her, and at +any other time I expect we could not sleep under the same roof +without sleeping in the same bed; but now that you rule my heart I am +not capable of a passion for her." + +"I am delighted to hear it; but I think she is very pretty." + +We went in to see her nurse, who called her "my child," and kissed +her again and again, and then left us alone to prepare some lemonade +for us. As soon as we found ourselves alone our mouths were glued +together, and my hands touched a thousand beauties, covered only by a +dress of light sarcenet; but I could not enjoy her charms without +this cruel robe, which was all the worse because it did not conceal +the loveliness beneath it. I am sure that the good nurse would have +kept us waiting a long time if she had known how we longed to be left +alone for a few moments longer; but, alas! the celerity with which +she made those two glasses of lemonade was unexampled. + +"It was made beforehand, was it?" said I, when I saw her coming in. + +"Not at all, sir; but I am a quick hand." + +"You are, indeed." + +These words made my charmer go off into a peal of laughter, which she +accompanied with a significant glance in my direction. As we were +going away she said that as things seemed to be against us we must +wait till her husband came to spend a few days with me. + +My terrible enemy gave us some sweets, which she praised very highly, +and above all some quince marmalade, which she insisted on our +testing. We begged to be excused, and Madame pressed my foot with +hers. When we had got away she told me I had been very wise not to +touch anything, as the widow was suspected of having poisoned her +husband. + +The ball, the supper, the refreshments, and the guests were all of +the most exquisite and agreeable kind. I only danced one minuet with +Madame de Chauvelin, nearly all my evening being taken up with +talking to her husband. I made him a present of my translation of +his poem on the seven deadly sins, which he received with much +pleasure. + +"I intend," said I, "to pay you a visit at Turin." + +"Are you going to bring your housekeeper with you?" + +"No." + +"You are wrong, for she is a delightful person." + +Everybody spoke of my dear Dubois in the same way. She had a perfect +knowledge of the rules of good breeding, and she knew how to make +herself respected without being guilty of the slightest presumption. +In vain she was urged to dance, and she afterwards told me that if +she had yielded she would have become an object of hatred to all the +ladies. She knew that she could dance exquisitely. + +M. de Chauvelin went away in two days, and towards the end of the +week I heard from Madame d'Urfe, who told me that she had spent two +days at Versailles in furtherance of my desires. She sent me a copy +of the letters of pardon signed by the king in favour of the relation +of M.----, assuring me that the original had been sent to the colonel +of his regiment, where he would be reinstated in the rank which he +held before the duel. + +I had my horses put into my carriage, and hastened to carry this good +news to M. de Chavigni. I was wild with joy, and I did not conceal +it from the ambassador, who congratulated me, since M.---- having +obtained by me, without the expenditure of a penny, a favour which +would have cost him dear if he had succeeded in purchasing it, would +henceforth be only too happy to treat me with the utmost confidence. + +To make the matter still more important, I begged my noble friend to +announce the pardon to M.---- in person, and he immediately wrote a +note to that gentleman requesting his presence. + +As soon as he made his appearance, the ambassador handed him the copy +of the pardon, telling him that he owed it all to me. The worthy man +was in an ecstasy, and asked what he owed me. + +"Nothing, sir, unless you will give me your friendship, which I value +more than all the gold in the world; and if you would give me a proof +of your friendship, come and spend a few days with me; I am +positively dying of loneliness. The matter I have done for you is a +mere trifle; you see how quickly it has been arranged." + +"A mere trifle! I have devoted a year's labour to it; I have moved +heaven and earth without succeeding, and in a fortnight you have +accomplished it. Sir, you may dispose of my life." + +"Embrace me, and come and see me. I am the happiest of men when I am +enabled to serve persons of your merit." + +"I will go and tell the good news to my wife, who will love you as +well as I do." + +"Yes, do so," said the ambassador, "and bring her to dinner here to- +morrow." + +When we were alone together, the Marquis de Chavigni, an old courtier +and a wit, began to make some very philosophical reflections on the, +state of a court where nothing can be said to be easy or difficult +per se, as the one at a moment's notice may become the other; a court +where justice often pleads in vain, while interest or even +importunity get a ready hearing. He had known Madame d'Urfe, had +even paid his court to her at the period when she was secretly +beloved by the regent. He it was who had given her the name of +Egeria, because she said she had a genius who directed her and passed +the nights with her when she slept by herself. The ambassador then +spoke of M.----, who had undoubtedly become a very great friend of +mine. + +"The only way to blind a jealous husband," said he, "is to make him +your friend, for friendship will rarely admit jealousy." + +The next day at dinner, at the ambassador's, Madame gave me a +thousand proofs of grateful friendship, which my heart interpreted as +pledges of love. The husband and wife promised to pay me a three +days' visit in the following week at my country house. + +They kept their word without giving me any further warning, but I was +not taken by surprise as I had made all preparations for their +reception. + +My heart leapt with joy on seeing my charmer getting down from the +carriage, but my joy was not unalloyed, as the husband told me that +they must absolutely return on the fourth day, and the wife insisted +on the horrible widow being present at all our conversation. + +I took my guests to the suite of rooms I had prepared for them, and +which I judged most suitable for my designs. It was on the ground +floor, opposite to my room. The bedroom had a recess with two beds, +separated by a partition through which one passed by a door. I had +the key to all the doors, and the maid would sleep in a closet beyond +the ante-chamber. + +In obedience to my divinity's commands we went and called on the +widow, who gave us a cordial welcome; but under the pretext of +leaving us in freedom refused to be of our company during the three +days. However, she gave in when I told her that our agreement was +only in force when I was alone. + +My dear Dubois, with her knowledge of the rules of society, did not +need a hint to have her supper in her room, and we had an exquisite +meal as I had given orders that the fare should be of the best. +After supper I took my guests to their apartment, and felt obliged to +do the same by the widow. She wanted me to assist at her toilet, but +I excused myself with a bow. She said, maliciously, that after all +the pains I had taken I deserved to be successful. I gave her no +answer. + +Next morning, as we were walking in the garden, I warned my charmer +that I had all the keys of the house, and that I could introduce +myself into her room at any moment. + +"I am waiting," said she, "for my husband's embraces, which he has +prefaced with caresses, as is usual with him. We must therefore wait +till the night after next, which will take away all risk, as I have +never known him to embrace me for two nights in succession." + +About noon we had a visit from M. de Chavigni, who came to ask for +dinner, and made a great to-do when he heard that my housekeeper +dined in her room. The ladies said he was quite right, so we all +went and made her sit down at table with us. She must have been +flattered, and the incident evidently increased her good humour, as +she amused us by her wit and her piquant stories about Lady Montagu. +When we had risen from table Madame said to me,-- + +"You really must be in love with that young woman; she is ravishing." + +"If I could pass two hours in your company to-night, I would prove to +you that I am yours alone." + +"It is still out of the question, as my husband has ascertained that +the moon changes to-day." + +"He has to ask leave of the moon, has he, before discharging so sweet +a duty?" + +"Exactly. According to his system of astrology, it is the only way +to keep his health and to have the son that Heaven wills to grant +him, and indeed without aid from above it is hardly likely that his +wishes will be accomplished." + +"I hope to be the instrument of Heaven," said I, laughing. + +"I only hope you may." + +Thus I was obliged to wait. Next morning, as we were walking in the +garden, she said to me,-- + +"The sacrifice to the moon has been performed, and to make sure I +will cause him to renew his caresses tonight as soon as we go to bed; +and after that he is certain to sleep soundly. You can come at an +hour after midnight; love will await you." + +Certain of my bliss, I gave myself up to the joy that such a +certainty kindles in a fiery heart. It was the only night remaining, +as M.---- had decided that on the next day they would return to +Soleure. + +After supper I took the ladies to their apartments, and on returning +told my housekeeper that I had a good deal of writing to do, and that +she should go to bed. + +Just before one o'clock I left my room, and the night being a dark +one I had to feel my way half round my house, and to my surprise +found the door open; but I did not pay any attention to this +circumstance. I opened the door of the second ante-chamber, and the +moment I shut it again a hand seized mine, whilst another closed my +lips. I only heard a whispered "hush!" which bade me silent. A sofa +was at hand; we made it our altar of sacrifice, and in a moment I was +within the temple of love. It was summer time and I had only two +hours before me, so I did not lose a moment, and thinking I held +between my arms the woman I had so long sighed for I renewed again +and again the pledges of my ardent love. In the fulness of my bliss +I thought her not awaiting me in her bed an admirable idea, as the +noise of our kisses and the liveliness of our motions might have +awakened the troublesome husband. Her tender ecstasies equalled +mine, and increased my bliss by making me believe (oh, fatal error!) +that of all my conquests this was the one of which I had most reason +to boast. + +To my great grief the clock warned me that it was time for me to be +gone. I covered her with the tenderest kisses, and returning to my +room, in the greatest gladness, I resigned myself to sleep. + +I was roused at nine o'clock by M.----, who seemed in a happy frame +of mind, and shewed me a letter he had just received, in which his +relative thanked me for restoring him to his regiment. In this +letter, which was dictated by gratitude, he spoke of me as if I had +been a divinity. + +"I am delighted," I said, "to have been of service to you." + +"And I," said he, "am equally pleased to assure you of my gratitude. +Come and breakfast with us, my wife is still at her toilette. Come +along." + +I rose hastily, and just as I was leaving the room I saw the dreadful +widow, who seemed full of glee, and said,-- + +"I thank you, sir; I thank you with all my heart. I beg to leave you +at liberty again; I am going back to Soleure." + +"Wait for a quarter of an hour, we are going to breakfast with +Madame." + +"I can't stop a moment, I have just wished her good day, and now I +must be gone. Farewell, and remember me." + +"Farewell, madam." + +She had hardly gone before M.---- asked me if the woman was beside +herself. + +"One might think so, certainly," I replied, "for she has received +nothing but politeness at my hands, and I think she might have waited +to go back with you in the evening." + +We went to breakfast and to discuss this abrupt leave-taking, and +afterwards we took a turn in the garden where we found Madame Dubois. +M.---- took possession of her; and as I thought his wife looking +rather downcast I asked her if she had not slept well. + +"I did not go to sleep till four o'clock this morning," she replied, +"after vainly sitting up in bed waiting for you till that time. What +unforeseen accident prevented your coming?" + +I could not answer her question. I was petrified. I looked at her +fixedly without replying; I could not shake off my astonishment. At +last a dreadful suspicion came into my head that I had held within my +arms for two hours the horrible monster whom I had foolishly received +in my house. I was seized with a terrible tremor, which obliged me +to go and take shelter behind the arbour and hide my emotion. I felt +as though I should swoon away. I should certainly have fallen if I +had not rested my head against a tree. + +My first idea had been a fearful thought, which I hastened to repel, +that Madame, having enjoyed me, wished to deny all knowledge of the +fact--a device which is in the power of any woman who gives up her +person in the dark to adopt, as it is impossible to convict her of +lying. However, I knew the divine creature I had thought I possessed +too well to believe her capable of such base deceit. I felt that she +would have been lacking in delicacy, if she had said she had waited +for me in vain by way of a jest; as in such a case as this the least +doubt is a degradation. I was forced, then, to the conclusion that +she had been supplanted by the infernal widow. How had she managed +it? How had she ascertained our arrangements? I could not +imagine, and I bewildered myself with painful surmises. Reason only +comes to the aid of the mind when the confusion produced by painful +thoughts has almost vanished. I concluded, then, that I had spent +two hours with this abominable monster; and what increased my +anguish, and made me loathe and despise myself still more, was that I +could not help confessing that I had been perfectly happy. It was an +unpardonable mistake, as the two women differed as much as white does +from black, and though the darkness forbade my seeing, and the +silence my hearing, my sense of touch should have enlightened me-- +after the first set-to, at all events, but my imagination was in a +state of ecstasy. I cursed love, my nature, and above all the +inconceivable weakness which had allowed me to receive into my house +the serpent that had deprived me of an angel, and made me hate myself +at the thought of having defiled myself with her. I resolved to die, +after having torn to pieces with my own hands the monster who had +made me so unhappy. + +While I was strengthening myself in this resolution M.---- came up to +me and asked me kindly if I were ill; he was alarmed to see me pale +and covered with drops of sweat. "My wife," said the worthy man, +"is uneasy about you, and sent me to look after you." I told him I +had to leave her on account of a sudden dizziness, but that I began +to feel better. "Let us rejoin her." Madame Dubois brought me a +flask of strong waters, saying pleasantly that she was sure it was +only the sudden departure of the widow that had put me out. + +We continued our walk, and when we were far enough from the husband, +who was with my housekeeper, I said I had been overcome by what she +had said, but that it had doubtless been spoken jestingly. + +"I was not jesting at all," said she, with a sigh, "tell me what +prevented your coming." + +Again I was struck dumb. I could not make up my mind to tell her the +story, and I did not know what to say to justify myself. I was +silent and confused when my housekeeper's little servant came up and +gave me a letter which the wretched widow had sent her by an express. +She had opened it, and found an enclosure addressed to me inside. I +put it in my pocket, saying I would read it at my leisure. On Madame +saying in joke that it was a love-letter, I could not laugh, and made +no answer. The servant came to tell us that dinner was served, but I +could touch nothing. My abstinence was put down to my being unwell. + +I longed to read the letter, but I wished to be alone to do so, and +that was a difficult matter to contrive. + +Wishing to avoid the game of piquet which formed our usual +afternoon's amusement, I took a cup of coffee, and said that I +thought the fresh air would do me good. Madame seconded me, and +guessing what I wanted she asked me to walk up and down with her in a +sheltered alley in the garden. I offered her my arm, her husband +offered his to my housekeeper, and we went out. + +As soon as my mistress saw that we were free from observation, she +spoke as follows,-- + +"I am sure that you spent the night with that malicious woman, and I +am afraid of being compromised in consequence. Tell me everything; +confide in me without reserve; 'tis my first intrigue, and if it is +to serve as a lesson you should conceal nothing from me. I am sure +you loved me once, tell me that you have not become my enemy." + +"Good heavens! what are you saying? I your enemy!" + +"Then tell me all, and before you read that wretched creature's +letter. I adjure you in the name of love to hide nothing from me." + +"Well, divine creature, I will do as you bid me. I came to your +apartment at one o'clock, and as soon as I was in the second ante- +chamber, I was taken by the arm, and a hand was placed upon my lips +to impose silence; I thought I held you in my arms, and I laid you +gently on the sofa. You must remember that I felt absolutely certain +it was you; indeed, I can scarcely doubt it even now. I then passed +with you, without a word being spoken, two of the most delicious +hours I have ever experienced. Cursed hours! of which the +remembrance will torment me for the remainder of my days. I left you +at a quarter past three. The rest is known to you." + +"Who can have told the monster that you were going to visit me at +that hour?" + +"I can't make out, and that perplexes me." + +"You must confess that I am the most to be pitied of us three, and +perhaps, alas! the only one who may have a just title to the name +'wretched.'" + +"If you love me, in the name of Heaven do not say that; I have +resolved to stab her, and to kill myself after having inflicted on +her that punishment she so well deserves." + +"Have you considered that the publicity of such an action would +render me the most unfortunate of women? Let us be more moderate, +sweetheart; you are not to blame for what has happened, and if +possible I love you all the more. Give me the letter she has written +to you. I will go away from you to read it, and you can read it +afterwards, as if we were seen reading it together we should have to +explain matters." + +"Here it is." + +I then rejoined her husband, whom my housekeeper was sending into +fits of laughter. The conversation I had just had had calmed me a +little, and the trustful way in which she had asked for the letter +had done me good. I was in a fever to know the contents, and yet I +dreaded to read it, as it could only increase my rage and I was +afraid of the results. + +Madame rejoined us, and after we had separated again she gave me the +letter, telling me to keep it till I was alone. She asked me to give +her my word of honour to do nothing without consulting her, and to +communicate all my designs to her by means of her nurse. + +"We need not fear the harpy saying anything about it," she remarked, +"as she would first have to proclaim her own prostitution, and as for +us, concealment is the best plan. And I would have you note that the +horrible creature gives you a piece of advice you would do well to +follow." + +What completely tore my heart asunder during this interview was to +see great tears--tears of love and grief--falling from her beautiful +eyes; though to moderate my anguish she forced a smile. I knew too +well the importance she attached to her fair fame not to guess that +she was tormented with the idea that the terrible widow knew of the +understanding between us, and the thought added fresh poignancy to my +sorrow. + +This amiable pair left me at seven in the evening, and I thanked the +husband in such a manner that he could not doubt my sincerity, and, +in truth, I said no more than I felt. There is no reason why the +love one feels for a woman should hinder one from being the true +friend of her husband--if she have a husband. The contrary view is a +hateful prejudice, repugnant both to nature and to philosophy. After +I had embraced him I was about to kiss the hand of his charming wife, +but he begged me to embrace her too, which I did respectfully but +feelingly. + +I was impatient to read the terrible letter, and as soon as they were +gone I shut myself up in my room to prevent any interruptions. The +epistle was as follows: + +"I leave your house, sir, well enough pleased, not that I have spent +a couple of hours with you, for you are no better than any other man, +but that I have revenged myself on the many open marks of contempt +you have given me; for your private scorn I care little, and I +willingly forgive you. I have avenged myself by unmasking your +designs and the hypocrisy of your pretty prude, who will no longer be +able to treat me with that irritating air of superiority which she, +affecting a virtue which she does not possess, has displayed towards +me. I have avenged myself in the fact that she must have been +waiting for you all the night, and I would have given worlds to have +heard the amusing conversation you must have had when she found out +that I had taken for vengeance's sake, and not for love, the +enjoyment which was meant for her. I have avenged myself because you +can no longer pretend to think her a marvel of beauty, as having +mistaken me for her, the difference between us must needs be slight; +but I have done you a service, too, as the thought of what has +happened should cure you of your passion. You will no longer adore +her before all other women who are just as good as she. Thus I have +disabused you, and you ought to feel grateful to me; but I dispense +you from all gratitude, and do not care if you choose to hate me, +provided your hatred leaves me in peace; but if I find your conduct +objectionable in the future, I warn you that I will tell all, since I +do not care for my own fame as I am a widow and mistress of my own +actions. I need no man's favour, and care not what men may say of +me. Your mistress, on the other hand, is in quite a different +position. + +"And here I will give you a piece of advice, which should convince +you of my generosity. For the last ten years I have been troubled +with a little ailment which has resisted all attempts at treatment. +You exerted yourself to such an extent to prove how well you loved me +that you must have caught the complaint. I advise you, then, to put +yourself under treatment at once to weaken the force of the virus; +but above all do not communicate it to your mistress, who might +chance to hand it on to her husband and possibly to others, which +would make a wretched woman of her, to my grief and sorrow, since she +has never done me any harm. I felt certain that you two would +deceive the worthy husband, and I wished to have proof; thus I made +you take me in, and the position of the apartment you gave them was +enough to remove all doubts; still I wanted to have proof positive. +I had no need of any help to arrive at my ends, and I found it a +pleasant joke to keep you in the dark. After passing two nights on +the sofa all for nothing, I resolved on passing the third night +there, and my perseverance was crowned with success. No one saw me, +and my maid even is ignorant of my nocturnal wanderings, though in +any case she is accustomed to observe silence. You are, then, at +perfect liberty to bury the story in oblivion, and I advise you to do +so. + +"If you want a doctor, tell him to keep his counsel, for people at +Soleure know of my little indisposition, and they might say you +caught it from me, and this would do us both harm." + +Her impudence struck me so gigantic in its dimensions that I almost +laughed. I was perfectly aware that after the way I had treated her +she must hate me, but I should not have thought she would have +carried her perverse hatred so far. She had communicated to me an +infectious disease, though I did not so far feel any symptoms; +however, they would no doubt appear, and I sadly thought I should +have to go away to be cured, to avoid the gossip of malicious wits. +I gave myself up to reflection, and after two hours' thought I wisely +resolved to hold my tongue, but to be revenged when the opportunity +presented itself. + +I had eaten nothing at dinner, and needed a good supper to make me +sleep. I sat down to table with my housekeeper, but, like a man +ashamed of himself, I dared not look her in the face. + + + + +CHAPTER XVI + +Continuation of the Preceding Chapter--I Leave Soleure + + +When the servants had gone away and left us alone, it would have +looked strange if we had remained as dumb as two posts; but in my +state of mind I did not feel myself capable of breaking the silence. +My dear Dubois, who began to love me because I made her happy, felt +my melancholy react on herself, and tried to make me talk. + +"Your sadness," said she, "is not like you; it frightens me. You may +console yourself by telling me of your troubles, but do not imagine +that my curiosity springs from any unworthy motive, I only want to be +of service to you. You may rely on my being perfectly discreet; and +to encourage you to speak freely, and to give you that trust in me +which I think I deserve, I will tell you what I know and what I have +learnt about yourself. My knowledge has not been obtained by any +unworthy stratagems, or by a curiosity in affairs which do not +concern me." + +"I am pleased with what you say, my dear housekeeper. I see you are +my friend, and I am grateful to you. Tell me all you know about the +matter which is now troubling me, and conceal nothing." + +"Very good. You are the lover and the beloved of Madame----. The +widow whom you have treated badly has played you some trick which has +involved you with your mistress, and then the wretched woman has 477 +left your house with the most unpardonable rudeness this tortures +you. You fear some disastrous consequences from which you cannot +escape, your heart and mind are at war, and there is a struggle in +your breast between passion and sentiment. Perhaps I am wrong, but +yesterday you seemed to me happy and to-day miserable. I pity you, +because you have inspired me with the tenderest feelings of +friendship. I did my best to-day to converse with the husband that +you might be free to talk to the wife, who seems to me well worthy of +your love." + +"All that you have said is true. Your friendship is dear to me, and +I have a high opinion of your intellectual powers. The widow is a +monster who has made me wretched in return for my contempt, and I +cannot revenge myself on her. Honour will not allow me to tell you +any more, and indeed it would be impossible for you or any one else +to alleviate the grief that overwhelms me. It may possibly be my +death, but in the mean time, my dear Dubois, I entreat you to +continue your friendship towards me, and to treat me with entire +candour. I shall always attend to what you say, and thus you will be +of the greatest service to me. I shall not be ungrateful." + +I spent a weary night as I had expected, for anger, the mother of +vengeance, always made me sleepless, while sudden happiness had +sometimes the same effect. + +I rang for Le Duc early in the morning, but, instead of him, Madame +Dubois's ugly little attendant came, and told me that my man was ill, +and that the housekeeper would bring me my chocolate. She came in +directly after, and I had no sooner swallowed the chocolate than I +was seized with a violent attack of sickness, the effect of anger, +which at its height may kill the man who cannot satisfy it. My +concentrated rage called for vengeance on the dreadful widow, the +chocolate came on the top of the anger, and if it had not been +rejected I should have been killed; as it was I was quite exhausted. +Looking at my housekeeper I saw she was in tears, and asked her why +she wept. + +"Good heavens! Do you think I have a heart of stone?" + +"Calm yourself; I see you pity me. Leave me, and I hope I shall be +able to get some sleep." + +I went to sleep soon after, and I did not wake till I had slept for +seven hours. I felt restored to life. I rang the bell, my +housekeeper came in, and told me the surgeon of the place had called. +She looked very melancholy, but on seeing my more cheerful aspect I +saw gladness reappearing on her pretty face. + +"We will dine together, dearest," said I, "but tell the surgeon to +come in. I want to know what he has to say to me." + +The worthy man entered, and after looking carefully round the room to +see that we were alone, he came up to me, and whispered in my ear +that Le Duc had a malady of a shameful character. + +I burst out laughing, as I had been expecting some terrible news. + +"My dear doctor," said I, "do all you can to cure him, and I will pay +you handsomely, but next time don't look so doleful when you have +anything to tell me. How old are you?" + +"Nearly eighty." + +"May God help you!" + +I was all the more ready to sympathize with my poor Spaniard, as I +expected to find myself in a like case. + +What a fellow-feeling there is between the unfortunate! The poor man +will seek in vain for true compassion at the rich man's doors; what +he receives is a sacrifice to ostentation and not true benevolence; +and the man in sorrow should not look for pity from one to whom +sorrow is unknown, if there be such a person on the earth. + +My housekeeper came in to dress me, and asked me what had been the +doctor's business. + +"He must have said something amusing to make you laugh." + +"Yes, and I should like to tell you what it was; but before I do so I +must ask you if you know what the venereal disease is?" + +"Yes, I do; Lady Montagu's footman died of it while I was with her" + +"Very good, but you should pretend not to know what it is, and +imitate other ladies who assume an ignorance which well becomes them. +Poor Le Duc has got this disease." + +"Poor fellow, I am sorry for him! Were you laughing at that?" + +"No; it was the air of mystery assumed by the old doctor which amused +me." + +"I too have a confidence to make, and when you have heard it you must +either forgive me or send me away directly." + +"Here is another bother. What the devil can you have done? Quick! +tell me." + +"Sir, I have robbed you!" + +"What robbed me? When? How? Can you return me what you have +taken? I should not have thought you capable of such a thing. I +never forgive a robber or a liar." + +"You are too hasty, sir. I am sure you will forgive me, as I robbed +you only half an hour ago, and I am now going to return to you the +theft." + +"You are a singular woman, my dear. Come, I will vouchsafe full +forgiveness, but restore immediately what you have taken." + +"This is what I stole." + +"What! that monster's letter? Did you read it?" + +"Yes, of course, for otherwise I should not have committed a theft, +should I?" + +"You have robbed me my secret, then, and that is a thing you cannot +give me back. You have done very wrong." + +"I confess I have. My theft is all the greater in that I cannot make +restoration. Nevertheless, I promise never to speak a word of it all +my life, and that ought to gain me my pardon. Give it me quickly." + +"You are a little witch. I forgive you, and here is the pledge of my +mercy." So saying I fastened my lips on hers. + +"I don't doubt the validity of your pardon; you have signed with a +double and a triple seal." + +"Yes; but for the future do not read, or so much as touch, any of my +papers, as I am the depositary of secrets of which I am not free to +dispose." + +"Very good; but what shall I do when I find papers on the ground, as +that letter was?" + +"You must pick them up, but not read them." + +"I promise to do so." + +"Very well, my dear; but you must forget the horrors you have read." + +"Listen to me. Allow me to remember what I have read; perhaps you +may be the gainer. Let us talk over this affair, which has made my +hair stand on end. This monster of immodesty has given you two +mortal blows--one in the body and one in the soul; but that is not +the worst, as she thinks that Madame's honour is in her keeping. +This, in my thinking, is the worst of all; for, in spite of the +affront, your mutual love might continue, and the disease which the +infamous creature has communicated to you would pass off; but if the +malicious woman carries out her threats, the honour of your charming +mistress is gone beyond return. Do not try to make me forget the +matter, then, but let us talk it over and see what can be done." + +I thought I was dreaming when I heard a young woman in her position +reasoning with more acuteness than Minerva displays in her colloquies +with Telemachus. She had captured not only my esteem but my respect. + +"Yes, my dear," I answered, "let us think over some plan for +delivering a woman who deserves the respect of all good men from this +imminent danger; and the very thought that we have some chance of +success makes me indebted to you. Let us think of it and talk of it +from noon to night. Think kindly of Madame ----, pardon her first +slip, protect her honour, and have pity on my distress. From +henceforth call me no more your master but your friend. I will be +your friend till death; I swear it to you. What you say is full of +wisdom; my heart is yours. Embrace me." + +"No, no, that is not necessary; we are young people, and we might +perhaps allow ourselves to go astray. I only wish for your +friendship; but I do not want you to give it to me for nothing. I +wish to deserve it by giving you solid proofs of my friendship for +you. In the meanwhile I will tell them to serve dinner, and I hope +that after you have eaten something you will be quite well." + +I was astonished at her sagacity. It might all be calculated +artifice, and her aim might be to seduce me, but I did not trouble +myself about that. I found myself almost in love with her, and like +to be the dupe of her principles, which would have made themselves +felt, even if she had openly shared my love. I decided that I would +add no fuel to my flames, and felt certain that they would go out of +their own accord. By leaving my love thus desolate it would die of +exhaustion. I argued like a fool. I forgot that it is not possible +to stop at friendship with a pretty woman whom one sees constantly, +and especially when one suspects her of being in love herself. At +its height friendship becomes love, and the palliative one is forced +to apply to soothe it for a moment only increases its intensity. +Such was the experience of Anacreon with Smerdis, and Cleobulus with +Badyllus. A Platonist who pretends that one is able to live with a +young woman of whom one is fond, without becoming more than her +friend, is a visionary who knows not what he says. My housekeeper +was too young, too pretty, and above all too pleasant, she had too +keen a wit, for me not to be captivated by all these qualities +conjoined; I was bound to become her lover. + +We dined quietly together without saying anything about the affair we +had at heart, for nothing is more imprudent or more dangerous than to +speak in the presence of servants, who out of maliciousness or +ignorance put the worst construction on what they hear; add or +diminish, and think themselves privileged to divulge their master's +secrets, especially as they know them without having been entrusted +with them. + +As soon as we were alone, my dear Dubois asked me if I had sufficient +proof of Le Duc's fidelity. + +"Well, my dear, he is a rascal and a profligate, full of impudence, +sharp-witted, ignorant, a fearful liar, and nobody but myself has any +power over him. However, he has one good quality, and that is blind +obedience to my orders. He defies the stick, and he would defy the +gallows if it were far enough off. When I have to ford a river on my +travels, he strips off his clothes without my telling him, and jumps +in to see if I can across in safety." + +"That will do; he is just what we want under the circumstances. I +will begin by assuring you, my dear friend, as you will have me style +you thus, that Madame's honour is perfectly safe. Follow my advice, +and if the detestable widow does not take care she will be the only +person put to shame. But we want Le Duc; without him we can do +nothing. Above all we must find out how he contracted his disease, +as several circumstances might throw obstacles in the way of my +design. Go to him at once and find out all particulars, and if he +has told any of the servants what is the matter with him. When you +have heard what he has to say, warn him to keep the matter quiet." + +I made no objection, and without endeavouring to penetrate her design +I went to Le Duc. I found him lying on his bed by himself. I sat +down beside him with a smile on my face, and promised to have him +cured if he would tell me all the circumstances of the case. + +"With all my heart, sir, the matter happened like this. The day you +sent me to Soleure to get your letters, I got down at a roadside +dairy to get a glass of milk. It was served to me by a young wench +who caught my fancy, and I gave her a hug; she raised no objection, +and in a quarter of an hour she made me what you see." + +"Have you told anyone about it?" + +"I took good care not to do so, as I should only have got laughed at. +The doctor is the only one who knows what is the matter, and he tells +me the swelling will be gone down before tomorrow, and I hope I shall +be able by that time to wait upon you." + +"Very good, but remember to keep your own counsel." + +I proceeded to inform my Minerva of our conversation, and she said,-- + +"Tell me whether the widow could take her oath that she had spent the +two hours on the sofa with you." + +"No, for she didn't see me, and I did not say a word." + +"Very good; then sit down at your desk and write, and tell her she is +a liar, as you did not leave your room at all, and that you are +making the necessary enquiries in your household to find out who is +the wretched person she has unwittingly contaminated. Write at once +and send off your letter directly. In an hour and a half's time you +can write another letter; or rather you can copy what I am just going +to put down." + +"My dear, I see your plan; it is an ingenious one, but I have given +my word of honour to Madame to take no steps in the matter without +first consulting her." + +"Then your word of honour must give way to the necessity of saving +her honour. Your love retards your steps, but everything depends on +our promptitude, and on the interval between the first and second +letter. Follow my advice, I beg of you, and you will know the rest +from the letter I am going to write for you to copy. Quick I write +letter number one." + +I did not allow myself to reflect. I was persuaded that no better +plan could be found than that of my charming governess, and I +proceeded to write the following love-letter to the impudent monster: + +"The impudence of your letter is in perfect accord with the three +nights you spent in discovering a fact which has no existence save in +your own perverse imagination. Know, cursed woman, that I never left +my room, and that I have not to deplore the shame of having passed +two hours with a being such as you. God knows with whom you did pass +them, but I mean to find out if the whole story is not the creation +of your devilish brain, and when I do so I will inform you. + +"You may thank Heaven that I did not open your letter till after M. +and Madame had gone. I received it in their presence, but despising +the hand that wrote it I put it in my pocket, little caring what +infamous stuff it contained. If I had been curious enough to read it +and my guests had seen it, I would have you know that I would have +gone in pursuit of you, and at this moment you would have been a +corpse. I am quite well, and have no symptoms of any complaint, but +I shall not lower myself to convince you of my health, as your eyes +would carry contagion as well as your wretched carcase." + +I shewed the letter to my dear Dubois, who thought it rather strongly +expressed, but approved of it on the whole; I then sent it to the +horrible being who had caused me such unhappiness. An hour and a +half afterwards I sent her the following letter, which I copied +without addition or subtraction: + +"A quarter of an hour after I had sent off my letter, the village +doctor came to tell me that my man had need of his treatment for a +disease of a shameful nature which he had contracted quite recently. +I told him to take care of his patient; and when he had gone I went +to see the invalid, who confessed, after some pressure, that he had +received this pretty present from you. I asked him how he had +contrived to obtain access to you, and he said that he saw you going +by your self in the dark into the apartment of M.----. Knowing that +I had gone to bed, and having no further services to render me, +curiosity made him go and see what you were doing there by stealth, +as if you had wanted to see the lady, who would be in bed by that +time, you would not have gone by the door leading to the garden. He +at first thought that you went there with ill-intent, and he waited +an hour to see if you stole anything, in which case he would have +arrested you; but as you did not come out, and he heard no noise, he +resolved to go in after you, and found you had left the door open. +He has assured me that he had no intentions in the way of carnal +enjoyment, and I can well believe him. He tells me he was on the +point of crying for help, when you took hold of him and put your hand +over his mouth; but he changed his plans on finding himself drawn +gently to a couch and covered with kisses. You plainly took him for +somebody else, 'and,' said he, 'I did her a service which she has +done ill to recompense in this fashion.' He left you without saying +a word as soon as the day began to dawn, his motive being fear of +recognition. It is easy to see that you took my servant for myself, +for in the night, you know, all cats are grey, and I congratulate you +on obtaining an enjoyment you certainly would not have had from me, +as I should most surely have recognized you directly from your breath +and your aged charms, and I can tell you it would have gone hard with +you. Luckily for you and for me, things happened otherwise. I may +tell you that the poor fellow is furious, and intends making you a +visit, from which course I believe I have no right to dissuade him. +I advise you to hear him politely, and to be in a generous mood when +he comes, as he is a determined fellow like all Spaniards, and if you +do not treat him properly he will publish the matter, and you will +have to take the consequences. He will tell you himself what his +terms are, and I daresay you will be wise enough to grant them." + +An hour after I had sent off this epistle I received a reply to my +first letter. She told me that my device was an ingenious one, but +that it was no good, as she knew what she was talking about. She +defied me to shew her that I was healthy in the course of a few days. + +While we were at supper, my dear Dubois tried her utmost to cheer me +up, but all to no purpose; I was too much under the influence of +strong emotion to yield to her high spirits. We discussed the third +step, which would put an apex to the scheme and cover the impudent +woman with shame. As I had written the two letters according to my +housekeeper's instructions, I determined to follow her advice to the +end. She told me what to say to Le Duc in the morning; and she was +curious to know what sort of stuff he was made of, she begged me to +let her listen behind the curtains of my bed. + +Next morning Le Due came in, and I asked if he could ride on +horseback to Soleure. + +"Yes, sir," he replied, "but the doctor tells me I must begin to +bathe to-morrow." + +"Very good. As soon as your horse is ready, set out and go to Madame +F----, but do not let her know you come from me, or suspect that you +are a mere emissary of mine. Say that you want to speak to her. If +she refuses to receive you, wait outside in the street; but I fancy +she will receive you, and without a witness either. Then say to her, +'You have given me my complaint without having been asked, and I +require you to give me sufficient money to get myself cured.' Add +that she made you work for two hours in the dark, and that if it had +not been for the fatal present she had given to you, you would have +said nothing about it; but that finding yourself in such a state (you +needn't be ashamed to shew her) she ought not to be astonished at +your taking such a course. If she resists, threaten her with the +law. That's all you have to do, but don't let my name appear. +Return directly without loss of time, that I may know how you have +got on." + +"That's all very fine, sir, but if this jolly wench has me pitched +out of window, I shan't come home quite so speedily." + +"Quite so, but you needn't be afraid; I will answer for your safety." + +"It's a queer business you are sending me on." + +"You are the only man I would trust to do it properly." + +"I will do it all right, but I want to ask you one or two essential +questions. Has the lady really got the what d'you call it?" + +"She has." + +"I am sorry for her. But how am I to stick to it that she has +peppered me, when I have never spoken to her?" + +"Do you usually catch that complaint by speaking, booby?" + +"No, but one speaks in order to catch it, or while one is catching +it." + +"You spent two hours in the dark with her without a word being +spoken, and she will see that she gave this fine present to you while +she thought she was giving it to another." + +"Ah! I begin to see my way, sir. But if we were in the dark, how was +I to know it was she I had to do with? + +"Thus: you saw her going in by the garden door, and you marked her +unobserved. But you may be sure she won't ask you any of these +questions." + +"I know what to do now. I will start at once, and I am as curious as +you to know what her answer will be. But here's another question +comes into my head. She may try to strike a bargain over the sum I +am to ask for my cure; if so, shall I be content with three hundred +francs?" + +"That's too much for her, take half." + +"But it isn't much for two hours of such pleasure for her and six +weeks of such pain for me." + +"I will make up the rest to you." + +"That's good hearing. She is going to pay for damage she has done. +I fancy I see it all, but I shall say nothing. I would bet it is you +to whom she has made this fine present, and that you want to pay her +out." + +"Perhaps so; but keep your own counsel and set out." + +"Do you know I think the rascal is unique," said my dear Dubois, +emerging from her hiding-place, "I had hard work to keep from +laughing when he said that if he were pitched out of the window he +would not come back so soon. I am sure he will acquit himself better +than ever did diplomatist. When he gets to Soleure the monster will +have already dispatched her reply to your second letter. I am +curious to see how it will turn out." + +"To you, my dear, the honour of this comedy belongs. You have +conducted this intrigue like a past master in the craft. It could +never be taken for the work of a novice." + +"Nevertheless, it is my first and I hope it will be my last intrigue" + +"I hope she won't defy me to 'give evidence of my health." + +"You are quite well so far, I think?" + +"Yes; and, by the way, it is possible she may only have leucorrhoea. +I am longing to see the end of the piece, and to set my mind at +rest." + +"Will you give Madame an account of our scheme?" + +"Yes; but I shall not be able to give you the credit you deserve." + +"I only want to have credit in your eyes." + +"You cannot doubt that I honour you immensely, and I shall certainly +not deprive you of the reward that is your due." + +"The only reward I ask for is for you to be perfectly open with me." + +"You are very wonderful. Why do you interest yourself so much in my +affairs? I don't like to think you are really inquisitive." + +"You would be wrong to think that I have a defect which would lower +me in my own eyes. Be sure, sir, that I shall only be curious when +you are sad." + +"But what can have made you feel so generously towards me?" + +"Only your honourable conduct towards me." + +"You touch me profoundly, and I promise to confide in you for the +future." + +"You will make me happy." + +Le Duc had scarcely gone an hour when a messenger on foot came to +bring me a second letter from the widow. He also gave me a small +packet, telling me that he had orders to wait for a reply. I sent +him down to wait, and I gave the letter to Madame Dubois, that she +might see what it contained. While she was reading it I leant upon +the window, my heart beating violently. + +"Everything is getting on famously," cried my housekeeper. "Here is +the letter; read it." + +"Whether I am being told the truth, or whether I am the victim of a +myth arising from your fertile imagination (for which you are too +well known all over Europe), I will regard the whole story as being +true, as I am not in a position to disprove it. I am deeply grieved +to have injured an innocent man who has never done me any ill, and I +will willingly pay the penalty by giving him a sum which will be more +than sufficient to cure him of the plague with which I infected him. +I beg that you will give him the twenty-five louis I am sending you; +they will serve to restore him to health, and to make him forget the +bitterness of the pleasure I am so sorry to have procured for him. +And now are you sufficiently generous to employ your authority as +master to enjoin on your man the most absolute secrecy? I hope so, +for you have reason to dread my vengeance otherwise. Consider that, +if this affair is allowed to transpire, it will be easy for me to +give it a turn which may be far from pleasant to you, and which will +force the worthy man you are deceiving to open his eyes; for I have +not changed my opinion, as I have too many proofs of your +understanding with his wife. As I do not desire that we should meet +again, I shall go to Lucerne on the pretext of family concerns. Let +me know that you have got this letter." + +"I am sorry," I said, "to have sent Le Duc, as the harpy is violent, +and I am afraid of something happening to him." + +"Don't be afraid," she replied, "nothing will happen, and it is +better that they should see each other; it makes it more certain. +Send her the money directly; she will have to give it to him herself, +and your vengeance will be complete. She will not be able to +entertain the slightest suspicion, especially if Le Duc shews her her +work, and in two or three hours you will have the pleasure of hearing +everything from his lips. You have reason to bless your stars, as +the honour of the woman you love is safe. The only thing that can +trouble you is the remembrance of the widow's foul embraces, and the +certainty that the prostitute has communicated her complaint to you. +Nevertheless, I hope it may prove a slight attack and be easily +cured. An inveterate leucorrhoea is not exactly a venereal disease, +and I have heard people in London say that it was rarely contagious. +We ought to be very thankful that she is going to Lucerne. Laugh and +be thankful; there is certainly a comic touch in our drama." + +"Unfortunately, it is tragi-comic. I know the human heart, and I am +sure that I must have forfeited Madame's affections." + +"It is true that----; but this is not the time to be thinking of such +matters. Quick! write to her briefly and return her the twenty-five +Louis." + +My reply was as follows: + +"Your unworthy suspicions, your abominable design of revenge, and the +impudent letter you wrote me, are the only causes of your no doubt +bitter repentance. I hope that it will restore peace to your +conscience. Our messengers have crossed, through no fault of mine. +I send you the twenty-five Louis; you can give them to the man +yourself. I could not prevent my servant from paying you a visit, +but this time you will not keep him two hours, and you will not find +it difficult to appease his anger. I wish you a good journey, and I +shall certainly flee all occasions of meeting you, for I always avoid +the horrible; and you must know, odious woman, that it isn't +everybody who endeavours to ruin the reputation of their friends. +If you see the apostolic nuncio at Lucerne, ask him about me, and he +will tell you what sort of a reputation I have in Europe. I can +assure you that Le Duc has only spoken to me of his misadventure, and +that if you treat him well he will be discreet, as he certainly has +nothing to boast of. Farewell." + +My dear Minerva approved of this letter, and I sent it with the money +by the messenger. + +"The piece is not yet done," said my housekeeper, "we have three +scenes more:" + +"What are they?" + +"The return of your Spaniard, the appearance of the disease, and the +astonishment of Madame when she hears it all." + +I counted the moments for Le Duc to return, but in vain; he did not +appear. I was in a state of great anxiety, although my dear Dubois +kept telling me that the only reason he was away so long was that the +widow was out. Some people are so happily constituted that they +never admit the possibility of misfortune. I was like that myself +till the age of thirty, when I was put under the Leads. Now I am +getting into my dotage and look on the dark side of everything. I am +invited to a wedding, and see nought but gloom; and witnessing the +coronation of Leopold, at Prague, I say to myself, 'Nolo coronari'. +Cursed old age, thou art only worthy of dwelling in hell, as others +before me have thought also, 'tristisque senectus'. + +About half-past nine my housekeeper looked out, and saw Le Duc by the +moonlight coming along at a good pace. That news revived me. I had +no light in the room, and my housekeeper ran to hide in the recess, +for she would not have missed a word of the Spaniard's communication. + +"I am dying of hunger," said he, as he came in. "I had to wait for +that woman till half-past six. When she came in she found me on the +stairs and told me to go about my business, as she had nothing to say +to me. + +"'That may be, fair lady,' I replied; 'but I have a few words to say +to you, and I have been waiting here for a cursed time with that +intent.' + +"'Wait a minute,' she replied; and then putting into her pocket a +packet and a letter which I thought was addressed in your writing, +she told me to follow her. As soon as I got to her room, I saw there +was no one else present, and I told her that she had infected me, and +that I wanted the wherewithal to pay the doctor. As she said nothing +I proceeded to convince her of my infected state, but she turned away +her head, and said,-- + +"'Have you been waiting for me long? + +"'Since eleven, without having had a bite or a sup.' + +"Thereupon she went out, and after asking the servant, whom I suppose +she had sent here, what time he had come back, she returned to me, +shut the door, and gave me the packet, telling me that it contained +twenty-five Louis for my cure, and that if I valued my life I would +keep silence in the matter. I promised to be discreet, and with that +I left here, and here I am. + +"Does the packet belong to me?" + +"Certainly. Have some supper and go to bed." + +My dear Dubois came out of her recess and embraced me, and we spent a +happy evening. Next morning I noticed the first symptoms of the +disease the hateful widow had communicated to me, but in three or +four days I found it was of a very harmless character, and a week +later I was quite rid of it. My poor Spaniard, on the other hand, +was in a pitiable case. + +I passed the whole of the next morning in writing to Madame. I told +her circumstantially all I had done, in spite of my promise to +consult her, and I sent her copies of all the letters to convince her +that our enemy had gone to Lucerne with the idea that her vengeance +had been only an imaginary one. Thus I shewed her that her honour +was perfectly safe. I ended by telling her that I had noticed the +first symptoms of the disease, but that I was certain of getting rid +of it in a very few days. I sent my letter through her nurse, and in +two days' time I had a few lines from her informing me that I should +see her in the course of the week in company with her husband and +M. de Chavigni. + +Unhappy I! I was obliged to renounce all thoughts of love, but my +Dubois, who was with me nearly all day on account of Le Duc's +illness, began to stand me in good stead. The more I determined to +be only a friend to her, the more I was taken with her; and it was in +vain that I told myself that from seeing her without any love-making +my sentiment for her would die a natural death. I had made her a +present of a ring, telling her that whenever she wanted to get rid of +it I would give her a hundred louis for it; but this could only +happen in time of need--an impossible contingency while she continued +with me, and I had no idea of sending her away. She was natural and +sincere, endowed with a ready wit and good reasoning powers. She had +never been in love, and she had only married to please Lady Montagu. +She only wrote to her mother, and to please her I read the letters. +They were full of filial piety, and were admirably written. + +One day the fancy took me to ask to read the letters her mother wrote +in reply. "She never replies," said she, "For an excellent reason, +namely, that she cannot write. I thought she was dead when I came +back from England, and it was a happy surprise to find her in perfect +health when I got to Lausanne." + +"Who came with you from England?" + +"Nobody." + +"I can't credit that. Young, beautiful, well dressed, obliged to +associate casually with all kinds of people, young men and +profligates (for there are such everywhere), how did you manage to +defend yourself?" + +"Defend myself? I never needed to do so. The best plan for a young +woman is never to stare at any man, to pretend not to hear certain +questions and certainly not to answer them, to sleep by herself in a +room where there is a lock and key, or with the landlady when +possible. When a girl has travelling adventures, one may safely say +that she has courted them, for it is easy to be discreet in all +countries if one wishes." + +She spoke justly. She assured me that she had never had an adventure +and had never tripped, as she was fortunate enough not to be of an +amorous disposition. Her naive stories, her freedom from prudery, +and her sallies full of wit and good sense, amused me from morning +till night, and we sometimes thoued each other; this was going rather +far, and should have shewn us that we were on the brink of the +precipice. She talked with much admiration of the charms of Madame, +and shewed the liveliest interest in my stories of amorous adventure. +When I got on risky ground, I would make as if I would fain spare her +all unseemly details, but she begged me so gracefully to hide +nothing, that I found myself obliged to satisfy her; but when my +descriptions became so faithful as almost to set us on fire, she +would burst into a laugh, put her hand over my mouth, and fly like a +hunted gazelle to her room, and then lock herself in. One day I +asked her why she did so, and she answered, "To hinder you from +coming to ask me for what I could not refuse you at such moments." + +The day before that on which M. and Madame and M. de Chavigni came to +dine with me, she asked me if I had had any amorous adventures in +Holland. I told her about Esther, and when I came to the mole and my +inspection of it, my charming curiosity ran to stop my mouth, her +sides shaking with laughter. I held her gently to me, and could not +help seeking whether she had a mole in the same place, to which she +opposed but a feeble resistance. I was prevented by my unfortunate +condition from immolating the victim on the altar of love, so we +confined ourselves to a make-believe combat which only lasted a +minute; however, our eyes took in it, and our excited feelings were +by no means appeased. When we had done she said, laughing, but yet +discreetly,-- + +"My dear friend, we are in love with one another; and if we do not +take care we shall not long be content with this trifling." + +Sighing as she spoke, she wished me good night and went to bed with +her ugly little maid. This was the first time we had allowed +ourselves to be overcome by the violence of our passion, but the +first step was taken. As I retired to rest I felt that I was in +love, and foresaw that I should soon be under the rule of my charming +housekeeper. + +M. and Madame--and M. Chavigni gave us an agreeable surprise, the +next day, by coming to dine with us, and we passed the time till +dinner by walking in the garden. My dear Dubois did the honours of +the table, and I was glad to see that my two male guests were +delighted with her, for they did not leave her for a moment during +the afternoon, and I was thus enabled to tell my charmer all I had +written to her. Nevertheless I took care not to say a word about the +share my housekeeper had had in the matter, for my mistress would +have been mortified at the thought that her weakness was known to +her. + +"I was delighted to read your letters," said she, "and to hear that +that villainous woman can no longer flatter herself upon having spent +two hours with you. But tell me, how can you have actually spent +them with her without noticing, in spite of the dark, the difference +between her and me? She is much shorter, much thinner, and ten +years older. Besides, her breath is disagreeable, and I think you +know that I have not that defect. Certainly, you could not see her +hair, but you could touch, and yet you noticed nothing! I can +scarcely believe it!" + +"Unhappily, it is only too true. I was inebriated with love, and +thinking only of you, I saw nothing but you." + +"I understand how strong the imagination would be at first, but this +element should have been much diminished after the first or second +assault; and, above all, because she differs from me in a matter +which I cannot conceal and she cannot supply." + +"You are right--a burst of Venus! When I think that I only touched +two dangling flabby breasts, I feel as if I did not deserve to live!" + +"And you felt them, and they did not disgust you!" + +"Could I be disgusted, could I even reflect, when I felt certain that +I held you in my arms, you for whom I would give my life. No, a +rough skin, a stinking breath, and a fortification carried with far +too much ease; nothing could moderate my amorous fury." + +"What do I hear? Accursed and unclean woman, nest of impurities! +And could you forgive me all these defects?" + +"I repeat, the idea that I possessed you deprived me of my thinking +faculties; all seemed to me divine." + +"You should have treated me like a common prostitute, you should even +have beaten me on finding me such as you describe." + +"Ah! now you are unjust" + +"That may be; I am so enraged against that monster that my anger +deprives me of reason. But now that she thinks that she had to do +with a servant, and after the degrading visit she has had she ought +to die of rage and shame. What astonishes me is her believing it, +for he is shorter than you by four inches. And how can she imagine +that a servant would do it as well as you? It's not likely. I am +sure she is in love with him now. Twenty-five louis! He would have +been content with ten. What a good thing that the poor fellow's +illness happened so conveniently. But I suppose you had to tell him +all?" + +"Not at all. I gave him to understand that she had made an +appointment with me in that room, and that I had really spent two +hours with her, not speaking for fear of being heard. Then, thinking +over the orders I gave him, he came to the conclusion that on finding +myself diseased afterwards I was disgusted, and being able to disavow +my presence I had done so for the sake of revenge." + +"That's admirable, and the impudence of the Spaniard passes all +belief. But her impudence is the most astonishing thing of all. But +supposing her illness had been a mere trick to frighten you, what a +risk the rascal would have run!" + +"I was afraid of that, as I had no symptoms of disease whatever." + +"But now you really have it, and all through my fault. I am in +despair." + +"Be calm, my angel, my disease is of a very trifling nature. I am +only taking nitre, and in a week I shall be quite well again. I hope +that then . . . ." + +"Ah! my dear friend." + +"What?" + +"Don't let us think of that any more, I beseech you." + +"You are disgusted, and not unnaturally; but your love cannot be very +strong, Ah! how unhappy I am." + +"I am more unhappy than you. I love you, and you would be thankless +indeed if you ceased to love me. Let us love each other, but let us +not endeavour to give one another proofs of our love. It might be +fatal. That accursed widow! She is gone away, and in a fortnight we +shall be going also to Bale, where we remain till the end of +November." + +The die is cast, and I see that I must submit to your decision, or +rather to my destiny, for none but fatal events have befallen me +since I came to Switzerland. My only consoling thought is that I +have made your honour safe." + +"You have won my husband's friendship and esteem; we shall always be +good friends." + +"If you are going I feel that I must go before you. That will tend +to convince the wretched author of my woe that there is nothing +blame-worthy in my friendship for you." + +"You reason like an angel, and you convince me more and more of your +love. Where are you going?" + +"To Italy; but I shall take Berne and Geneva on my way." + +"You will not be coming to Bale, then? I am glad to hear it, in +spite of the pleasure it would give me to see you. No doubt your +arrival would give a handle for the gossips, and I might suffer by +it. But if possible, in the few days you are to remain, shew +yourself to be in good spirits, for sadness does not become you." + +We rejoined the ambassador and M.---- who had not had time to think +about us, as my dear Dubois had kept them amused by her lively +conversation. I reproached her for the way in which she husbanded +her wit as far as I was concerned, and M. de Chavigni, seizing the +opportunity, told us it was because we were in love, and lovers are +known to be chary of their words. My housekeeper was not long in +finding a repartee, and she again began to entertain the two +gentlemen, so that I was enabled to continue my walk with Madame, who +said,-- + +"Your housekeeper, my dear friend, is a masterpiece. Tell me the +truth, and I promise to give you a mark of my gratitude that will +please you before I go." + +"Speak; what do you wish to know?" + +"You love her and she loves you in return." + +"I think you are right, but so far . . . ." + +"I don't want to know any more, for if matters are not yet arranged +they soon will be, and so it comes to the same thing. If you had +told me you did not love her I should not have believed you, for I +can't conceive that a man of your age can live with a woman like that +without loving her. She is very pretty and exceedingly intelligent, +she has good spirits, talents, an excellent manner, and she speaks +exceedingly well: that is enough to charm you, and I expect you will +find it difficult to separate from her. Lebel did her a bad turn in +sending her to you, as she used to have an excellent reputation, and +now she will no longer be able to get a place with ladies in the +highest society." + +"I shall take her to Berne." + +"That is a good idea." + +Just as they were going I said that I should soon be coming to +Soleure to thank them for the distinguished reception they had given +me, as I proposed leaving in a few days. The idea of never seeing +Madame again was so painful to me that as soon as I got in I went to +bed, and my housekeeper, respecting my melancholy, retired after +wishing me good-night. + +In two or three days I received a note from my charmer, bidding me +call upon them the day following at about ten o'clock, and telling me +I was to ask for dinner. I carried out her orders to the letter. +M. gave me a most friendly reception, but saying that he was obliged +to go into the country and could not be home till one o'clock, he +begged me not to be offended if he delivered me over to his wife for +the morning. Such is the fate of a miserable husband! His wife was +engaged with a young girl at tambour-work; I accepted her company on +the condition that she would not allow me to disturb her work. + +The girl went away at noon, and soon after we went to enjoy the fresh +air outside the house. We sat in a summer-house from which, +ourselves unseen, we could see all the carriages that approached the +house. + +"Why, dearest, did you not procure me the bliss when I was in good +health." + +"Because at that time my husband suspected that you turned yourself +into a waiter for my sake, and that you could not be indifferent +towards me. Your discretion has destroyed his suspicions; and also +your housekeeper, whom he believes to be your wife, and who has taken +his fancy to such an extent, that I believe he would willingly +consent to an exchange, for a few days at any rate. Would you +agree?" + +"Ah! if the exchange could be effected." + +Having only an hour before me, and foreseeing that it would be the +last I should pass beside her, I threw myself at her feet. She was +full of affection, and put no obstacles in the way of my desires, +save those which my own feelings dictated, for I loved her too well +to consent to injure her health. I did all I could to replace the +utmost bliss, but the pleasure she enjoyed doubtless consisted in a +great measure in shewing me her superiority to the horrible widow. + +When we saw the husband's carriage coming, we rose and took care that +the worthy man should not find us in the arbour. He made a thousand +excuses for not having returned sooner. + +We had an excellent dinner, and at table he talked almost entirely of +my housekeeper, and he seemed moved when I said I meant to take her +to Lausanne to her mother. I took leave of them at five o'clock with +a broken heart, and from there I went to M. de Chavigni and told him +all my adventures. He had a right to be told, as he had done all in +his power to insure the success of a project which had only failed by +an unexampled fatality. + +In admiration of my dear Dubois's wit--for I did not conceal the part +she played he said that old as he was he should think himself quite +happy if he had such a woman with him, and he was much pleased when I +told him that I was in love with her. "Don't give yourself the +trouble, my dear Casanova, of running from house to house to take +leave," said the amiable nobleman. "It can be done just as well at +the assembly, and you need not even stay to supper, if you don't want +to." + +I followed his advice, and thus saw again Madame as I thought, for +the last time, but I was wrong; I saw her ten years afterwards; and +at the proper time the reader will see where, when, how, and under +what circumstances. + +Before going away, I followed the ambassador to his room to thank him +as he deserved, for his kindness, and to ask him to give me a letter +of introduction for Berne, where I thought of staying a fortnight. +I also begged him to send Lebel to me that we might settle our +accounts. He told me that Lebel should bring me a letter for M. de +Muralt, the Mayor of Thun. + +When I got home, feeling sad on this, the eve of my leaving a town +where I had but trifling victories and heavy losses, I thanked my +housekeeper for waiting for me, and to give her a good night I told +her that in three days we should set out for Berne, and that my mails +must be packed. + +Next day, after a somewhat silent breakfast, she said,-- + +"You will take me with you, won't you?" + +"Certainly, if you like me well enough to want to go." + +"I would go with you to the end of the world, all the more as you are +now sick and sad, and when I saw you first you were blithe and well. +If I must leave you, I hope at least to see you happy first." + +The doctor came in just then to tell me that my poor Spaniard was so +ill that he could not leave his bed. + +"I will have him cured at Berne," said I; "tell him that we are +going to dine there the day after to-morrow." + +"I must tell you, sir, that though it's only a seven leagues' +journey, he cannot possibly undertake it as he has lost the use of +all his limbs." + +"I am sorry to hear that, doctor." + +"I dare say, but it's true." + +"I must verify the matter with my own eyes;" and so saying I went to +see Le Duc. + +I found the poor rascal, as the doctor had said, incapable of motion. +He had only the use of his tongue and his eyes. + +"You are in a pretty state," said I to him. + +"I am very ill, sir, though otherwise I feel quite well." + +"I expect so, but as it is you can't move, and I want to dine at +Berne the day after to-morrow." + +"Have me carried there, I shall get cured." + +"You are right, I will have you carried in a litter." + +"I shall look like a saint out for a walk." + +I told one of the servants to look after him, and to see to all that +was necessary for our departure. I had him taken to the "Falcon" by +two horses who drew his litter. + +Lebel came at noon and gave me the letter his master had written for +M. de Murat. He brought his receipts and I paid everything without +objection, as I found him an entirely honest man, and I had him to +dinner with Madame Dubois and myself. I did not feel disposed to +talk, and I was glad to see that they got on without me; they talked +away admirably and amused me, for Lebel was by no means wanting in +wit. He said he was very glad I had given him an opportunity of +knowing the housekeeper, as he could not say he had known her before, +having only seen her two or three times in passing through Lausanne. +On rising from the table he asked my permission to write to her, and +she, putting in her voice, called on him not to forget to do so. + +Lebel was a good-natured man, of an honest appearance, and +approaching his fiftieth year. Just as he was going, without asking +my leave, he embraced her in the French fashion, and she seemed not +to have the slightest objection. + +She told me as soon as he was gone that this worthy man might be +useful to her, and that she was delighted to enter into a +correspondence with him. + +The next day was spent in putting everything in order for our short +journey, and Le Duc went off in his litter, intending to rest for the +night at four leagues from Soleure. On the day following, after I +had remembered the door-keeper, the cook, and the man-servant I was +leaving behind, I set out in my carriage with the charming Dubois, +and at eleven o'clock I arrived at the inn at Berne, where Le Duc had +preceded me by two hours. In the first place, knowing the habits of +Swiss innkeepers, I made an agreement with the landlord; and I then +told the servant I had kept, who came from Berne, to take care of Le +Duc, to put him under good medical superintendence, and to bid the +doctor spare nothing to cure him completely. + +I dined with my housekeeper in her room, for she had a separate +lodging, and after sending my letter to M. de Muralt I went out for a +walk. + + + + +CHAPTER XVII + +Berne--La Mata Madame de la Saone--Sara--My Departure--Arrival at +Bale + + +I reached an elevation from which I could look over a vast stretch of +country watered by a little river, and noticing a path leading to a +kind of stair, the fancy took me to follow it. I went down about a +hundred steps, and found forty small closets which I concluded were +bathing machines. While I was looking at the place an honest-looking +fellow came up to me, and asked me if I would like a bath. I said I +would, and he opened one of the closets, and before long I surrounded +by a crowd of young girls. + +"Sir," said the man, "they all aspire to the honour of attending you +while you bathe; you have only to choose which it shall be. Half-a- +crown will pay for the bath, the girl, and your coffee." + +As if I were the Grand Turk, I examined the swarm of rustic beauties, +and threw my handkerchief at the one I liked the best. We went into +a closet, and shutting the door with the most serious air, without +even looking at me, she undressed me, and put a cotton cap on my +head, and as soon as she saw me in the water she undressed herself as +coolly as possible, and without a word came into the bath. Then she +rubbed me all over, except in a certain quarter, which I had covered +with my hands. When I thought I had been manipulated sufficiently, I +asked for coffee. She got out of the bath, opened the door, and +after asking for what I wanted got in again without the slightest +consciousness. + +When the coffee came she got out again to take it, shut the door, and +returned to the bath, and held the tray while I was drinking, and +when I had finished she remained beside me. + +Although I had taken no great notice of her, I could see that she +possessed all the qualifications a man could desire in a woman: fine +features, lively eyes, a pretty mouth, and an excellent row of teeth, +a healthy complexion, a well-rounded bosom a curved back, and all +else in the same sort. I certainly thought her hands might have been +softer, but their hardness was probably due to hard work. +Furthermore, she was only eighteen, and yet I remained cold to all +her charms. How was that? That was the question I asked myself; +and I think the reason probably was that she was too natural, too +devoid of those assumed graces and coquettish airs which women employ +with so much art for the seduction of men. We only care for artifice +and false show. Perhaps, too, our senses, to be irritated, require +woman's charms to be veiled by modesty. But if, accustomed as we are +to clothe ourselves, the face is the smallest factor in our perfect +happiness, how is it that the face plays the principal part in +rendering a man amorous? Why do we take the face as an index of a +woman's beauty, and why do we forgive her when the covered parts are +not in harmony with her features? Would it not be much more +reasonable and sensible to veil the face, and to have the rest of the +body naked? Thus when we fall in love with a woman, we should only +want, as the crown of our bliss, to see a face answerable to those +other charms which had taken our fancy. There can be no doubt that +that would be the better plan, as in that case we should only be +seduced by a perfect beauty, and we should grant an easy pardon if at +the lifting of the mask we found ugliness instead of loveliness. +Under those circumstances an ugly woman, happy in exercising the +seductive power of her other charms, would never consent to unveil +herself; while the pretty ones would not have to be asked. The plain +women would not make us sigh for long; they would be easily subdued +on the condition of remaining veiled, and if they did consent to +unmask, it would be only after they had practically convinced one +that enjoyment is possible without facial beauty. And it is evident +and undeniable that inconstancy only proceeds from the variety of +features. If a man did not see the face, he would always be constant +and always in love with the first woman who had taken his fancy. I +know that in the opinion of the foolish all this will seem folly, but +I shall not be on the earth to answer their objections. + +When I had left the bath, she wiped me with towels, put on my shirt, +and then in the same state--that is, quite naked, she did my hair. + +While I was dressing she dressed herself too, and having soon +finished she came to buckle my shoes. I then gave her half-a-crown +for the bath and six francs for herself; she kept the half-crown, but +gave me back the six francs with silent contempt. I was mortified; I +saw that I had offended her, and that she considered her behaviour +entitled her to respect. I went away in a bad enough humour. + +After supper I could not help telling my dear Dubois of the adventure +I had had in the afternoon, and she made her own comments on the +details. "She can't have been pretty," said she, "for if she had +been, you would certainly have given way. I should like to see her." + +"If you like I will take you there." + +"I should be delighted." + +"But you will have to dress like a man:" + +She rose, went out without a word, and in a quarter of an hour +returned in a suit of Le Duc's, but minus the trousers, as she had +certain protuberances which would have stood out too much I told her +to take a pair of my breeches, and we settled to go to the bath next +morning. + +She came to wake at six o'clock. She was dressed like a man, and +wore a blue overcoat which disguised her shape admirably. I rose and +went to La Mata, as the place is called. + +Animated by the pleasure the expedition gave her, my dear Dubois +looked radiant. Those who saw her must have seen through her +disguise, she was so evidently a woman; so she wrapped herself up in +her overcoat as well as she could. + +As soon as we arrived we saw the master of the baths, who asked me if +I wanted a closet for four, and I replied in the affirmative. We +were soon surrounded by the girls, and I shewed my housekeeper the +one who had not seduced me; she made choice of her, and I having +fixed upon a big, determined-looking wench, we shut ourselves up in +the bath. + +As soon as I was undressed I went into the water with my big +attendant. My housekeeper was not so quick; the novelty of the thing +astonished her, and her expression told me that she repented of +having come; but putting a good face on it, she began to laugh at +seeing me rubbed by the feminine grenadier. She had some trouble +before she could take off her chemise, but as it is only the first +step that costs, she let it fall off, and though she held her two +hands before her she dazzled me, in spite of myself, by the beauty of +her form. Her attendant prepared to treat her as she had treated me, +but she begged to be left alone; and on my following her example she +felt obliged to let me look after her. + +The two Swiss girls, who had no doubt often been present at a similar +situation, began to give us a spectacle which was well known to me, +but which was quite strange to my dear Dubois. + +These two Bacchantes began to imitate the caresses I lavished on my +housekeeper, who was quite astonished at the amorous fury with which +my attendant played the part of a man with the other girl. I confess +I was a little surprised myself, in spite of the transports which my +fair Venetian nun had shewn me six years before in conjunction with +C---- C----. + +I could not have imagined that anything of the kind could have +distracted my attention, holding, as I did, the woman I loved, whose +charms were sufficient to captivate all the senses; but the strange +strife of the two young Menads took up her attention as well as mine. + +"Your attendant," said she, "must be a boy, not a girl." + +"But," said I, "you saw her breasts." + +"Yes, but she may be a boy all the same." + +The big Swiss girl who had heard what we had said turned round and +shewed me what I should not have credited. There could be no +mistake, however. It was a feminine membrane, but much longer than +my little finger, and stiff enough to penetrate. I explained to my +dear Dubois what it was, but to convince her I had to make her touch +it. The impudent creature pushed her shamelessness so far as to +offer to try it on her, and she insisted so passionately that I was +obliged to push her away. She then turned to her companion and +satiated on her body her fury of lust. In spite of its disgusting +nature, the sight irritated us to such a degree that my housekeeper +yielded to nature and granted me all I could desire. + +This entertainment lasted for two hours, and we returned to the town +well pleased with one another. On leaving the bath I gave a Louis to +each of the two Bacchantes, and we went away determined to go there +no more. It will be understood that after what had happened there +could be no further obstacle to the free progress of our love; and +accordingly my dear Dubois became my mistress, and we made each other +happy during all the time we spent at Berne. I was quite cured of my +misadventure with the horrible widow, and I found that if love's +pleasures are fleeting so are its pains. I will go farther and +maintain that the pleasures are of much longer duration, as they +leave memories which can be enjoyed in old age, whereas, if a man +does happen to remember the pains, it is so slightly as to have no +influence upon his happiness. + +At ten o'clock the Mayor of Thun was announced. He was dressed in +the French fashion, in black, and had a manner at once graceful and +polite that pleased me. He was middle-aged, and enjoyed a +considerable position in the Government. He insisted on my reading +the letter that M. de Chavigni had written to him on my account. It +was so flattering that I told him that if it had not been sealed I +should not have had the face to deliver it. He asked me for the next +day to a supper composed of men only, and for the day after that, to +a supper at which women as well as men would be present. I went with +him to the library where we saw M. Felix, an unfrocked monk, more of +a scribbler than a scholar, and a young man named Schmidt, who gave +good promise, and was already known to advantage in the literary +world. I also had the misfortune of meeting here a very learned man +of a very wearisome kind; he knew the names of ten thousand shells by +heart, and I was obliged to listen to him for two hours, although I +was totally ignorant of his science. Amongst other things he told me +that the Aar contained gold. I replied that all great rivers +contained gold, but he shrugged his shoulders and did not seem +convinced. + +I dined with M. de Muralt in company with four or five of the most +distinguished women in Berne. I liked them very well, and above all +Madame de Saconai struck me as particularly amiable and well- +educated. I should have paid my addresses to her if I had been +staying long in the so-called capital of Switzerland. + +The ladies of Berne are well though not extravagantly dressed, as +luxury is forbidden by the laws. Their manners are good and they +speak French with perfect ease. They enjoy the greatest liberty +without abusing it, for in spite of gallantry decency reigns +everywhere. The husbands are not jealous, but they require their +wives to be home by supper-time. + +I spent three weeks in the town, my time being divided between my +dear Dubois and an old lady of eighty-five who interested me greatly +by her knowledge of chemistry. She had been intimately connected +with the celebrated Boerhaave, and she shewed me a plate of gold he +had transmuted in her presence from copper. I believed as much as I +liked of this, but she assured me that Boerhaave possessed the +philosopher's stone, but that he had not discovered the secret of +prolonging life many years beyond the century. Boerhaave, however, +was not able to apply this knowledge to himself, as he died of a +polypus on the heart before he had attained the age of perfect +maturity, which Hypocrates fixes at between sixty and seventy years. +The four millions he left to his daughter, if they do not prove that +he could make gold, certainly prove that he could save it. The +worthy old woman told me he had given her a manuscript in which the +whole process was explained, but that she found it very obscure. + +"You should publish it," said I. + +"God forbid!" + +"Burn it, then." + +"I can't make up my mind to do so." + +M. de Muralt took me to see the military evolutions gone through by +the citizens of Berne, who are all soldiers, and I asked him the +meaning of the bear to be seen above the gate of the town. The +German for bear is 'bar', 'bern', and the animal has given its name +to the town and canton which rank second in the Republic, although it +is in the first place for its wealth and culture. It is a peninsula +formed by the Aar, which rises near the Rhine. The mayor spoke to me +of the power of the canton, its lordships and bailiwicks, and +explained his own powers; he then described the public policy, and +told me of the different systems of government which compose the +Helvetic Union. + +"I understand perfectly well," I said, "that each of the thirteen +cantons has its own government." + +"I daresay you do," he replied, "but what you don't understand any +more than I do is, that there is a canton which has four separate +governments." + +I had an excellent supper with fourteen or fifteen senators. There +were no jokes, no frivolous conversation, and no literature; but law, +the commonweal, commerce, political economy, speculation, love of +country, and the duty of preferring liberty to life, in abundance. + +I felt as if I were in a new element, but I enjoyed the privilege of +being a man amidst men who were all in honour to our common humanity. +But as the supper went on, these rigid republicans began to expand, +the discourse became less measured, there were even some bursts of +laughter, owing to the wine. I excited their pity, and though they +praised sobriety they thought mine excessive. However, they +respected my liberty, and did not oblige me to drink, as the +Russians, Swedes, Poles, and most northern peoples do. + +We parted at midnight--a very late hour in Switzerland, and as they +wished me a good night, each of them made me a sincere offer of his +friendship. One of the company at an early period of the supper, +before he had begun to get mellow, had condemned the Venetian +Republic for banishing the Grisons, but on his intellect being +enlightened by Bacchus he made his apologies. + +"Every government," said he, "ought to know its own interests better +than strangers, and everybody should be allowed to do what he wills +with his own." + +When I got home I found my housekeeper lying in my bed. I gave her a +hundred caresses in witness of my joy, and I assured her practically +of my love and gratitude. I considered her as my wife, we cherished +each other, and did not allow the thought of separating to enter our +minds. When two lovers love each other in all freedom, the idea of +parting seems impossible. + +Next morning I got a letter from the worthy Madame d'Urfe, who begged +me to call on Madame de la Saone, wife of a friend of hers--a +lieutenant-general. This lady had come to Berne in the hope of +getting cured of a disease which had disfigured her in an incredible +manner. Madame de la Saone was immediately introduced to all the +best society in the place. She gave a supper every day, only asking +men; she had an excellent cook. She had given notice that she would +pay no calls, and she was quite right. I hastened to make my bow to +her; but, good Heavens! what a terrible and melancholy sight did I +behold! + +I saw a woman dressed with the utmost elegance, reclining +voluptuously upon a couch. As soon as she saw me she arose, gave me +a most gracious reception, and going back to her couch invited me to +sit beside her. She doubtless noticed my surprise, but being +probably accustomed to the impression which the first sight of her +created, she talked on in the most friendly manner, and by so doing +diminished my aversion. + +Her appearance was as follows: Madame de Saone was beautifully +dressed, and had the whitest hands and the roundest arms that can be +imagined. Her dress, which was cut very low, allowed me to see an +exquisite breast of dazzling whiteness, heightened by two rosy buds; +her figure was good, and her feet the smallest I have ever seen. All +about her inspired love, but when one's eyes turned to her face every +other feeling gave way to those of horror and pity. She was fearful. +Instead of a face, one saw a blackened and disgusting scab. No +feature was distinguishable, and her ugliness was made more +conspicuous and dreadful by two fine eyes full of fire, and by a +lipless mouth which she kept parted, as if to disclose two rows of +teeth of dazzling whiteness. She could not laugh, for the pain +caused by the contraction of the muscles would doubtless have drawn +tears to her eyes; nevertheless she appeared contented, her +conversation was delightful, full of wit and humour, and permeated +with the tone of good society. She might be thirty at the most, and +she had left three beautiful young children behind in Paris. Her +husband was a fine, well-made man, who loved her tenderly, and had +never slept apart from her. It is probable that few soldiers have +shewn such courage as this, but it is to be supposed that he did not +carry his bravery so far as to kiss her, as the very thought made one +shudder. A disorder contracted after her first child-bed had left +the poor woman in this sad state, and she had borne it for ten years. +All the best doctors in France had tried in vain to cure her, and she +had come to Berne to put herself into the hands of two well-known +physicians who had promised to do so. Every quack makes promises of +this sort; their patients are cured or not cured as it happens, and +provided that they pay heavily the doctor is ready enough to lay the +fault, not on his ignorance, but at the door of his poor deluded +patient. + +The doctor came while I was with her, and just as her intelligent +conversation was making me forget her face. She had already began to +take his remedies, which were partly composed of mercury. + +"It seems to me," said she, "that the itching has increased since I +have taken your medicines." + +"It will last," said the son of AEsculapius, "till the end of the +cure, and that will take about three months." + +"As long as I scratch myself," said she, "I shall be in the same +state, and the cure will never be completed." + +The doctor replied in an evasive manner. I rose to take my leave, +and holding my hand she asked me to supper once for all. I went the +same evening; the poor woman took everything and drank some wine, as +the doctor had not put her on any diet. I saw that she would never +be cured. + +Her good temper and her charming conversational powers kept all the +company amused. I conceived that it would be possible to get used to +her face, and to live with her without being disgusted. In the +evening I talked about her to my housekeeper, who said that the +beauty of her body and her mental endowments might be sufficient to +attract people to her. I agreed, though I felt that I could never +become one of her lovers. + +Three or four days after, I went to a bookseller's to read the +newspaper, and was politely accosted by a fine young man of twenty, +who said that Madame de la Saone was sorry not to have seen me again +at supper. + +"You know the lady?" + +"I had the honour to sup at her house with you." + +"True; I remember you." + +"I get her the books she likes, as I am a bookseller, and not only do +I sup with her every evening, but we breakfast together every morning +before she gets up." + +"I congratulate you. I bet you are in love with her." + +"You are pleased to jest, but she is pleasanter than you think." + +"I do not jest at all, but I would wager she would not have the +courage to push things to an extremity." + +"Perhaps you would lose." + +"Really? I should be very glad to." + +"Let us make a bet." + +"How will you convince me I have lost?" + +"Let us bet a louis, and you must promise to be discreet." + +"Very good." + +"Come and sup at her house this evening, and I will tell you +something." + +"You shall see me there." + +When I got home I told my housekeeper what I had heard. + +"I am curious to know," said she, "how he will convince you." I +promised to tell her, which pleased her very much. + +I was exact to my appointment. Madame de la Saone reproached me +pleasantly for my absence, and gave me a delicious supper. The young +bookseller was there, but as his sweetheart did not speak a word to +him he said nothing and passed unnoticed. + +After supper we went out together, and he told me on the way that if +I liked he would satisfy me the next morning at eight o'clock. "Call +here, and the lady's maid will tell you her mistress is not visible, +but you have only to say that you will wait, and that you will go +into the ante-chamber. This room has a glass door commanding a view +of madame's bed, and I will take care to draw back the curtains over +the door so that you will be able to see at your ease all that passes +between us. When the affair is over I shall go out by another door, +she will call her maid, and you will be shewn in. At noon, if you +will allow me, I will bring you some books to the 'Falcon,' and if +you find that you have lost you shall pay me my louis." I promised +to carry out his directions, and we parted. + +I was curious to see what would happen, though I by no means regarded +it as an impossibility; and on my presenting myself at eight o'clock, +the maid let me in as soon as I said that I could wait. I found a +corner of the glass door before which there was no curtain, and on +applying my eye to the place I saw my young adventurer holding his +conquest in his arms on the bed. An enormous nightcap entirely +concealed her face--an excellent precaution which favoured the +bookseller's enterprise. + +When the rascal saw that I had taken up my position, he did not keep +me waiting, for, getting up, he presented to my dazzled gaze, not +only the secret treasures of his sweetheart, but his own also. He +was a small man, but where the lady was most concerned he was a +Hercules, and the rogue seemed to make a parade of his proportions as +if to excite my jealousy. He turned his victim round so that I +should see her under all aspects, and treated her manfully, while she +appeared to respond to his ardour with all her might. Phidias could +not have modelled his Venus on a finer body; her form was rounded and +voluptuous, and as white as Parian marble. I was affected in a +lively manner by the spectacle, and re-entered my lodging so inflamed +that if my dear Dubois had not been at hand to quench my fire I +should have been obliged to have extinguished it in the baths of La +Mata. + +When I had told her my tale she wanted to know the hero of it, and at +noon she had that pleasure. The young bookseller brought me some +books I had ordered, and while paying him for them I gave him our bet +and a Louis over and above as a mark of my satisfaction at his +prowess. He took it with a smile which seemed to shew that he +thought I ought to think myself lucky to have lost. My housekeeper +looked at him for some time, and asked if he knew her; he said he did +not. + +"I saw you when you were a child," said she. "You are the son of M. +Mignard, minister of the Gospel. You must have been ten when I saw +you." + +"Possibly, madam." + +"You did not care to follow your father's profession, then?" + +"No madam, I feel much more inclined to the worship of the creature +than to that of the Creator, and I did not think my father's +profession would suit me." + +"You are right, for a minister of the Gospel ought to be discreet, +and discretion is a restraint." + +This stroke made him blush, but we did not give him time to lose +courage. I asked him to dine with me, and without mentioning the +name of Madame de la Saone he told his amorous adventures and +numerous anecdotes about the pretty women of Berne. + +After he had gone, my housekeeper said that once was quite enough to +see a young man of his complexion. I agreed with her, and had no +more to do with him; but I heard that Madame de Saone took him to +Paris and made his fortune. Many fortunes are made in this manner, +and there are some which originated still more nobly. I only +returned to Madame de la Saone to take my leave, as I shall shortly +relate. + +I was happy with my charmer, who told me again and again that with me +she lived in bliss. No fears or doubts as to the future troubled her +mind; she was certain, as I was, that we should never leave each +other; and she told me she would pardon all the infidelities I might +be guilty of, provided I made full confession. Hers, indeed, was a +disposition with which to live in peace and content, but I was not +born to enjoy such happiness. + +After we had been a fortnight at Berne, my housekeeper received a +letter from Soleure. It came from Lebel. As I saw she read it with +great attention, I asked her what it was about. + +"Take it and read it," said she; and she sat down in front of me to +read my soul by the play of my features. + +Lebel asked her, in concise terms, if she would become his wife. + +"I have only put off the proposition," said he, "to set my affairs in +order, and to see if I could afford to marry you, even if the consent +of the ambassador were denied us. I find I am rich enough to live +well in Berne or elsewhere without the necessity of my working; +however I shall not have to face the alternative, for at the first +hint of the matter M. de Chavigni gave his consent with the best +grace imaginable." + +He went on begging her not to keep him long waiting for a reply, and +to tell him in the first place if she consented; in the second, +whether she would like to live at Berne and be mistress in her own +house, or whether she would prefer to return to Soleure and live with +the ambassador, which latter plan might bring them some profit. He +ended by declaring that whatever she had would be for her sole use, +and that he would give her a dower of a hundred thousand francs. He +did not say a word about me. + +"Dearest," said I, "you are at perfect liberty to choose your own +course, but I cannot contemplate your leaving me without considering +myself as the most unhappy of men." + +"And if I lose you I should be the most unhappy of women; for if you +love me I care not whether we are married or no." + +"Very good; but what answer are you going to make." + +"You shall see my letter to-morrow. I shall tell him politely but +plainly that I love you, that I am yours, that I am happy, and that +it is thus impossible for me to accept his flattering propositions. +I shall also say that I appreciate his generosity, and that if I were +wise I should accept him, but that being the slave of my love for you +I can only follow my inclination." + +"I think you give an excellent turn to your letter. In refusing such +an offer you could not have better reasons than those you give, and +it would be absurd to try and persuade him that we are not lovers, as +the thing is self-evident. Nevertheless, my darling, the letter +saddens me." + +"Why, dearest?" + +"Because I have not a hundred thousand francs to offer you." + +"I despise them; and if you were to offer me such a sum, I should +only accept it to lay it at your feet. You are certainly not +destined to become miserable, but if that should come to pass, be +sure that I should be only too happy to share your misery." + +We fell into one another's arms, and love made us taste all its +pleasures. Nevertheless, in the midst of bliss, some tinge of +sadness gained upon our souls. Languishing love seems to redouble +its strength, but it is only in appearance; sadness exhausts love +more than enjoyment. Love is a madcap who must be fed on laughter +and mirth, otherwise he dies of inanition. + +Next day my sweetheart wrote to Lebel in the sense she had decided +on, and I felt obliged to write M. de Chavigni a letter in which +love, sentiment, and philosophy were mingled. I did not conceal from +him that I loved the woman whom Lebel coveted to distraction, but I +said that as a man of honour I would rather die than deprive my +sweetheart of such solid advantages. + +My letter delighted the housekeeper, for she was anxious to know what +the ambassador thought of the affair, which needed much reflection. + +I got on the same day the letters of introduction I had asked Madame +d'Urfe to give me, and I determined, to the joy of my dear Dubois, to +set out for Lausanne. But we must hark back a little. + +When one is sincerely in love, one thinks the beloved object full of +deserts, and the mind, the dupe of the feelings, thinks all the world +jealous of its bliss. + +A. M. de F----, member of the Council of the Two Hundred, whom I had +met at Madame de la Saone's, had become my friend. He came to see me +and I introduced him to my dear Dubois, whom he treated with the same +distinction he would have used towards my wife. He had presented us +to his wife, and had come several times to see us with her and her +daughter Sara. Sara was only thirteen, but she was extremely +precocious, dark complexioned, and full of wit; she was continually +uttering naivetes, of which she understood the whole force, although +looking at her face one would have thought her perfectly innocent. +She excelled in the art of making her father and mother believe in +her innocence, and thus she enjoyed plenty of liberty. + +Sara had declared that she was in love with my housekeeper, and as +her parents laughed at her she lavished her caresses on my dear +Dubois. She often came to breakfast with us, and when she found us +in bed she would embrace my sweetheart, whom she called her wife, +passing her hand over the coverlet to tickle her, telling her that +she was her wife, and that she wanted to have a child. My sweetheart +laughed and let her go on. + +One day I told her jokingly that she would make me jealous, that I +thought she really was a man, and that I was going to make sure. The +sly little puss told me that I was making a mistake, but her hand +seemed rather to guide mine than to oppose it. That made me curious, +and my mind was soon set at rest as to her sex. Perceiving that she +had taken me in and got exactly what she wanted, I drew back my hand, +and imparted my suspicions to my housekeeper, who said I was right. +However, as the little girl had no part in my affections, I did not +push the thing any farther. + +Two or three days after, this girl came in as I was getting up, and +said in her usual simple way, + +"Now that you know I am not really a man you can not be jealous or +have objection to my taking your place beside my little wife, if she +will let me." + +My housekeeper, who looked inclined to laugh, said, + +"Come along." + +In the twinkling of an eye she was undressed and in the arms of her +little wife, whom she proceeded to treat as an amorous husband. My +sweetheart laughed, and Sara, having contrived in the combat to rid +herself of her chemise and the coverlet, displayed herself to me +without any veil, while at the same time she shewed me all the +beauties of my sweetheart. This sight inflamed me. I shut the door, +and made the little hussy witness of my ardour with my sweetheart. +Sara looked on attentively, playing the part of astonishment to +perfection, and when I had finished she said, with the utmost +simplicity, + +"Do it again:" + +"I can't, my dear; don't you see I am a dead man?" + +"That's very funny," she cried; and with the most perfect innocence +she came over, and tried to effect my resurrection. + +When she had succeeded in placing me in the wished-for condition, she +said, "Now go in;" and I should doubtless have obeyed, but my +housekeeper said, "No, dearest, since you have effected its +resurrection, you must make it die again." + +"I should like to," said she, "but I am afraid I have not got enough +room;" and so saying she placed herself in a position to shew me that +she was speaking the truth, and that if she did not make me die it +was not her fault. + +Imitating her simplicity I approached her, as if I wished to oblige +her, but not to go too far; but not finding any resistance I +accomplished the act in all its forms, without her giving the +slightest evidence of pain, without any of the accidents of a first +trial, but, on the contrary, with all the marks of the utmost +enjoyment. + +Although I was sure of the contrary, I kept my self-possession enough +to tell my housekeeper that Sara had given me what can only be given +once, and she pretended to believe me. + +When the operation was finished, we had another amusing scene. Sara +begged us not to say a word about it to her papa or mamma, as they +would be sure to scold her as they had scolded her when she got her +ears pierced without asking their leave. + +Sara knew that we saw through her feigned simplicity, but she +pretended not to do so as it was to her own advantage. Who could +have instructed her in the arts of deceit? Nobody; only her natural +wit, less rare in childhood than in youth, but always rare and +astonishing. Her mother said her simplicities shewed that she would +one day be very intelligent, and her father maintained that they were +signs of her stupidity. But if Sara had been stupid, our bursts of +laughter would have disconcerted her; and she would have died for +shame, instead of appearing all the better pleased when her father +deplored her stupidity. She would affect astonishment, and by way of +curing one sort of stupidity she corroborated it by displaying +another. She asked us questions to which we could not reply, and +laughed at her instead, although it was evident that before putting +such questions she must have reasoned over them. She might have +rejoined that the stupidity was on our side, but by so doing she +would have betrayed herself. + +Lebel did not reply to his sweetheart, but M. de Chavigni wrote me a +letter of four pages. He spoke like a philosopher and an experienced +man of the world. + +He shewed me that if I were an old man like him, and able to insure a +happy and independent existence to my sweetheart after my death, I +should do well to keep her from all men, especially as there was so +perfect a sympathy between us; but that as I was a young man, and did +not intend to bind myself to her by the ties of marriage, I should +not only consent to a union which seemed for her happiness, but that +as a man of honour it was my duty to use my influence with her in +favour of the match. "With your experience," said the kind old +gentleman, "you ought to know that a time would come when you would +regret both having lost this opportunity, for your love is sure to +become friendship, and then another love will replace that which you +now think as firm as the god Terminus. + +"Lebel," he added, "has told me his plans, and far from disapproving, +I have encouraged him, for your charming friend won my entire esteem +in the five or six times I had the pleasure of seeing her with you. +I shall be delighted, therefore, to have her in my house, where I can +enjoy her conversation without transgressing the laws of propriety. +Nevertheless, you will understand that at my age I have formed no +desires, for I could not satisfy them even if their object were +propitious." He ended by telling me that Lebel had not fallen in +love in a young man's style, that he had reflected on what he was +doing, and that he would consequently not hurry her, as she would see +in the letter he was going to send her. A marriage ought always to +be undertaken in cold blood. + +I gave the letter to my housekeeper, who read it attentively, and +gave it back to me quite coolly. + +"What do you think of his advice, dearest?" + +"I think I had better follow it: he says there is no hurry, and delay +is all we want. Let us love each other and think only of that. This +letter is written with great wisdom, but I cannot imagine our +becoming indifferent to each other, though I know such a thing is +possible." + +"Never indifferent; you make a mistake there." + +"Well, friends, then; and that is not much better after being +lovers." + +"But friendship, dearest, is never indifferent. Love, it is true, +may be in its composition. We know it, as it has been thus from the +beginning of the world." + +"Then the ambassador was right. Repentance might come and torment us +when love had been replaced by calmer friendship." + +"If you think so, let us marry each other to-morrow, and punish +thereby the vices of our human nature." + +"Yes, we will marry, but there is no hurry; fearing lest hymen should +quicken the departure of love, let us enjoy our happiness while we +can." + +"You speak admirably, my angel, and deserve the greatest good +fortune." + +"I wish for no greater than what you procure me." + +We went to bed, continuing our discussions, and when we were in each +other's arms we made an arrangement which suited us very well. + +"Lausanne," said she, "is a little town where you would meet with the +warmest hospitality, and during your fortnight's stay you will have +nothing to do but to make visits and to go to suppers. I am known to +all the nobility, and the Duke of Rosebury, who wearied me with his +love-making, is still there. My appearance with you will make +everybody talk, and it will be as annoying for you as for me. My +mother lives there, too. She would say nothing, but in her heart she +would be ill-pleased to see me as the housekeeper of a man like you, +for common sense would inform everyone that I was your mistress." + +I thought she was right, and that it would be well to respect the +rules of society. We decided that she should go to Lausanne by +herself and stay with her mother, that in two or three days I should +follow her, and should live by myself, as long as I liked, having +full liberty to see her at her mother's. + +"When you leave Lausanne," said she, "I will rejoin you at Geneva, +and then we will travel together where you please and as long as our +love lasts." + +In two days she started early in the morning, sure of my constancy, +and congratulating herself on her discretion. I was sad at her +leaving me, but my calls to take leave served to rouse me from my +grief. I wished to make M. Haller's acquaintance before I left +Switzerland, and the mayor, M. de Muralt, gave me a letter of +introduction to him very handsomely expressed. M. de Haller was the +bailiff of Roche. + +When I called to take leave of Madame de la Saone I found her in bed, +and I was obliged to remain by her bedside for a quarter of an hour. +She spoke of her disease, and gave the conversation such a turn that +she was able with perfect propriety to let me see that the ravages of +the disease had not impaired the beauty of her body. The sight +convinced me that Mignard had need of less courage than I thought, +and I was within an inch of doing her the same service. It was easy +enough to look only at her body, and it would have been difficult to +behold anything more beautiful. + +I know well that prudes and hypocrites, if they ever read these +Memoirs, will be scandalized at the poor lady, but in shewing her +person so readily she avenged herself on the malady which had +disfigured her. Perhaps, too, her goodness of heart and politeness +told her what a trial it was to look at her face, and she wished to +indemnify the man who disguised his feelings of repugnance by shewing +him what gifts nature had given her. I am sure, ladies, that the +most prudish--nay, the most virtuous, amongst you, if you were +unfortunate enough to be so monstrously deformed in the face, would +introduce some fashion which would conceal your ugliness, and display +those beauties which custom hides from view. And doubtless Madame de +la Saone would have been more chary of her person if she had been +able to enchant with her face like you. + +The day I left I dined with M---- I----, and was severely taken to +task by pretty Sara for having sent her little wife away before me. +The reader will see how I met her again at London three years later. +Le Duc was still in the doctor's hands, and very weak; but I made him +go with me, as I had a good deal of property, and I could not trust +it to anybody else. + +I left Berne feeling naturally very sad. I had been happy there, and +to this day the thought of it is a pleasant one. + +I had to consult Dr. Herrenschwand about Madame d'Urfe, so I stopped +at Morat, where he lived, and which is only four leagues from Berne. +The doctor made me dine with him that I might try the fish of the +lake, which I found delicious. I had intended to go on directly +after dinner, but I was delayed by a curiosity of which I shall +inform the reader. + +After I had given the doctor a fee of two Louis for his advice, in +writing, on a case of tapeworm, he made me walk with him by the +Avanches road, and we went as far as the famous mortuary of Morat. + +"This mortuary," said the doctor, "was constructed with part of the +bones of the Burgundians, who perished here at the well-known battle +lost by Charles the Bold." + +The Latin inscription made me laugh. + +"This inscription," said I, "contains an insulting jest; it is almost +burlesque, for the gravity of an inscription should not allow of +laughter." + +The doctor, like a patriotic Swiss, would not allow it, but I think +it was false shame on his part. The inscription ran as follows, and +the impartial reader can judge of its nature: + + "Deo. opt. Max. Caroli inclyti et fortisimi Burgundie duds + exercitus Muratum obsidens, ab Helvetiis cesus, hoc sui + monumentum reliquit anno MCDLXXVI." + +Till then I had had a great idea of Morat. Its fame of seven +centuries, three sieges sustained and repulsed, all had given me a +sublime notion of it; I expected to see something and saw nothing. + +"Then Morat has been razed to the ground?" said I to the doctor. + +"Not at all, it is as it always has been, or nearly so." + +I concluded that a man who wants to be well informed should read +first and then correct his knowledge by travel. To know ill is worse +than not to know at all, and Montaigne says that we ought to know +things well. + +But it was the following comic adventure which made me spend the +night at Morat: + +I found at the inn a young maid who spoke a sort of rustic Italian. +She struck me by her great likeness to my fair stocking-seller at +Paris. She was called Raton, a name which my memory has happily +preserved. I offered her six francs for her favours, but she refused +the money with a sort of pride, telling me that I had made a mistake +and that she was an honest girl. + +"It may be so," said I, and I ordered my horses to be put in. When +the honest Raton saw me on the point of leaving, she said, with an +air that was at once gay and timid, that she wanted two louis, and if +I liked to give her them and pass the night with her I should be well +content. + +"I will stay, but remember to be kind." + +"I will." + +When everybody had gone to bed, she came into my room with a little +frightened manner, calculated to redouble my ardour, but by great +good luck, feeling I had a necessity, I took the light and ran to the +place where I could satisfy it. While there I amused myself by +reading innumerable follies one finds written in such places, and +suddenly my eyes lighted on these words:-- + +"This tenth day of August, 1760, the wretched Raton gave me the what- +d'-you-call-it: reader, beware." + +I was almost tempted to believe in miracles, for I could not think +there were two Ratons in the same house. I returned gaily to my room +and found my sweetheart in bed without her chemise. I went to the +place beside the bed where she had thrown it down, and as soon as she +saw me touching it she begged me in a fright not to do so, as it was +not clean. She was right, for it bore numerous marks of the disease +which infected her. It may be imagined that my passion cooled, and +that I sent her away in a moment; but I felt at the same time the +greatest gratitude to what is called chance, for I should have never +thought of examining a girl whose face was all lilies and roses, and +who could not be more than eighteen. + +Next day I went to Roche to see the celebrated Haller. + + + + + +CHAPTER XVIII + +M. Haller--My Stay at Lausanne--Lord Rosebury--The Young Saconai-- +Dissertation on Beauty--The Young Theologian + + +M. Haller was a man six feet high and broad in a proportion; he was a +well-made man, and a physical as well as a mental colossus. He +received me courteously, and when he had read M. de Muralt's letter, +he displayed the greatest politeness, which shews that a good letter +of introduction is never out of place. This learned man displayed to +me all the treasures of his knowledge, replying with exactitude to +all my questions, and above all with a rare modesty which astonished +me greatly, for whilst he explained the most difficult questions, he +had the air of a scholar who would fain know; but on the other hand, +when he asked me a scientific question, it was with so delicate an +art that I could not help giving the right answer. + +M. de Haller was a great physiologist, a great doctor, and a great +anatomist. He called Morgagni his master, though he had himself made +numerous discoveries relating to the frame of man. While I stayed +with him he shewed me a number of letters from Morgagni and +Pontedera, a professor of botany, a science of which Haller had an +extensive knowledge. Hearing me speak of these learned men whose +works I had read at an early age, he complained that Pontedera's +letters were almost illegible and written in extremely obscure Latin. +He shewed me a letter from a Berlin Academician, whose name I have +forgotten, who said that since the king had read his letter he had no +more thoughts of suppressing the Latin language. Haller had written +to Frederick the Great that a monarch who succeeded in the unhappy +enterprise of proscribing the language of Cicero and Virgil from the +republic of letters would raise a deathless monument to his own +ignorance. If men of letters require a universal language to +communicate with one another, Latin is certainly the best, for Greek +and Arabic do not adapt themselves in the same way to the genius of +modern civilization. + +Haller was a good poet of the Pindaric kind; he was also an excellent +statesman, and had rendered great services to his country. His +morals were irreproachable, and I remember his telling me that the +only way to give precepts was to do so by example. As a good citizen +he was an admirable paterfamilias, for what greater proof could he +give of his love of country than by presenting it with worthy +subjects in his children, and such subjects result from a good +education. His wife was still young, and bore on her features the +marks of good nature and discretion. He had a charming daughter of +about eighteen; her appearance was modest, and at table she only +opened her mouth to speak in a low tone to a young man who sat beside +her. After dinner, finding myself alone with M. Haller, I asked him +who this young man was. He told me he was his daughter's tutor. + +"A tutor like that and so pretty a pupil might easily become lovers." + +"Yes, please God." + +This Socratic reply made me see how misplaced my remark had been, and +I felt some confusion. Finding a book to my hand I opened it to +restore my composure. + +It was an octavo volume of his works, and I read in it: + +"Utrum memoria post mortem dubito." + +"You do not think, then," said I, "that the memory is an essential +part of the soul?" + +"How is that question to be answered?" M. de Haller replied, +cautiously, as he had his reasons for being considered orthodox. + +During dinner I asked if M. de Voltaire came often to see him. By +way of reply he repeated these lines of the poet:-- + +"Vetabo qui Cereris sacrum vulgarit arcanum sub usdem sit trabibus." + +I spent three days with this celebrated man, but I thought myself +obliged to refrain from asking his opinion on any religious +questions, although I had a great desire to do so, as it would have +pleased me to have had his opinion on that delicate subject; but I +believe that in matters of that kind M. Haller judged only by his +heart. I told him, however, that I should consider a visit to +Voltaire as a great event, and he said I was right. He added, +without the slightest bitterness, + +"M. de Voltaire is a man who ought to be known, although, in spite of +the laws of nature, many persons have found him greater at a distance +than close at hand." + +M. de Haller kept a good and abundant though plain table; he only +drank water. At dessert only he allowed himself a small glass of +liqueur drowned in an enormous glass of water. He talked a great +deal of Boerhaave, whose favourite pupil he had been. He said that +after Hypocrates, Boerhaave was the greatest doctor and the greatest +chemist that had ever existed. + +"How is it," said I, "that he did not attain mature age?" + +"Because there is no cure for death. Boerhaave was born a doctor, as +Homer was born a poet; otherwise he would have succumbed at the age +of fourteen to a malignant ulcer which had resisted all the best +treatment of the day. He cured it himself by rubbing it constantly +with salt dissolved in his own urine." + +"I have been told that he possessed the philosopher's stone." + +"Yes, but I don't believe it." + +"Do you think it possible?" + +"I have been working for the last thirty years to convince myself of +its impossibility; I have not yet done so, but I am sure that no one +who does not believe in the possibility of the great work can be a +good chemist." + +When I left him he begged me to write and tell him what I thought of +the great Voltaire, and in, this way our French correspondence began. +I possess twenty-two letters from this justly celebrated man; and the +last word written six months before, his too, early death. The +longer I live the more interest I take in my papers. They are the +treasure which attaches me to life and makes death more hateful +still. + +I had been reading at Berne Rousseau's "Heloise," and I asked M. +Haller's opinion of it. He told me that he had once read part of it +to oblige a friend, and from this part he could judge of the whole. +"It is the worst of all romances, because it is the most eloquently +expressed. You will see the country of Vaud, but don't expect to see +the originals of the brilliant portraits which Jean Jacques painted. +He seems to have thought that lying was allowable in a romance, but +he has abused the privilege. Petrarch, was a learned man, and told +no lies in speaking of his love for Laura, whom he loved as every man +loves the woman with whom he is taken; and if Laura had not contented +her illustrious lover, he would not have celebrated her." + +Thus Haller spoke to me of Petrarch, mentioning Rousseau with +aversion. He disliked his very eloquence, as he said it owed all its +merits to antithesis and paradox. Haller was a learned man of the +first class, but his knowledge was not employed for the purpose of +ostentation, nor in private life, nor when he was in the company of +people who did not care for science. No one knew better than he how +to accommodate himself to his company he was friendly with everyone, +and never gave offence. But what were his qualifications? It would +be much easier to say what he had not than what he had. He had no +pride, self-sufficiency, nor tone of superiority--in fact, none of +those defects which are often the reproach of the learned and the +witty. + +He was a man of austere virtue, but he took care to hide the +austerity under a veil of a real and universal kindness. Undoubtedly +he thought little of the ignorant, who talk about everything right or +wrong, instead of remaining silent, and have at bottom only contempt +for the learned; but he only shewed his contempt by saying nothing. +He knew that a despised ignoramus becomes an enemy, and Haller wished +to be loved. He neither boasted of nor concealed his knowledge, but +let it run like a limpid stream flowing through the meadows. He +talked well, but never absorbed the conversation. He never spoke of +his works; when someone mentioned them he would turn the conversation +as soon as he conveniently could. He was sorry to be obliged to +contradict anyone who conversed with him. + +When I reached Lausanne I found myself enabled to retain my incognito +for a day at any rate. I naturally gave the first place to my +affections. I went straight to my sweetheart without needing to ask +my way, so well had she indicated the streets through which I had to +pass. I found her with her mother, but I was not a little astonished +to see Lebel there also. However, my surprise must have passed +unnoticed, for my housekeeper, rising from her seat with a cry of +joy, threw her arms about my neck, and after having kissed me +affectionately presented me to her worthy mother, who welcomed me in +the friendliest manner. I asked Lebel after the ambassador, and how +long he had been at Lausanne. + +He replied, with a polite and respectful air, that his master was +quite well, and that he had come to Lausanne on business, and had +only been there a few hours; and that, wishing to pay his regards to +Madame Dubois's mother, he had been pleasantly surprised to see the +daughter there as well. + +"You know," he added, "what my intentions are. I have to go back to- +morrow, and when you have made up your minds, write to me and I will +come and take her to Soleure, where I will marry her." + +He could not have spoken more plainly or honourably. I said that I +would never oppose the will of my sweetheart, and my Dubois, +interrupting me, said in her turn that she would never leave me until +I sent her away. + +Lebel found these replies too vague, and told me with noble freedom +that we must give him a definite reply, since in such cases +uncertainty spoils all. At that moment I felt as if I could never +agree to his wishes, and I told him that in ten days I would let him +know of our resolution, whatever it was. At that he was satisfied, +and left us. + +After his departure my sweetheart's mother, whose good sense stood +her instead of wit, talked to us in a manner that answered our +inclinations, for, amorous as we were, we could not bear the idea of +parting. I agreed that my housekeeper should wait up for me till +midnight, and that we could talk over our reply with our heads on the +pillow. + +My Dubois had a separate room with a good bed and excellent +furniture. She gave me a very good supper, and we spent a delicious +night. In the morning we felt more in love than ever, and were not +at all disposed to comply with Lebel's wishes. Nevertheless, we had +a serious conversation. + +The reader will remember that my mistress had promised to pardon my +infidelities, provided that I confessed them. I had none to confess, +but in the course of conversation I told her about Raton. + +"We ought to think ourselves very fortunate," said she, "for if it +had not been for chance, we should have been in a fine state now." + +"Yes, and I should be in despair." + +"I don't doubt it, and you would be all the more wretched as I should +never complain to you." + +"I only see one way of providing against such a misfortune. When I +have been unfaithful to you I will punish myself by depriving myself +of the pleasure of giving you proofs of my affection till I am +certain that I can do so without danger." + +"Ah! you would punish me for your faults, would you? If you love me +as I love you, believe me you would find a better remedy than that." + +"What is that?" + +"You would never be unfaithful to me." + +"You are right. I am sorry I was not the first to think of this +plan, which I promise to follow for the future." + +"Don't make any promises," said she, with a sigh, "it might prove too +difficult to keep them." + +It is only love which can inspire such conversations, but +unfortunately it gains nothing by them. + +Next morning, just as I was going out to take my letters, the Baron +de Bercei, uncle of my friend Bavois, entered. + +"I know," said he, "that my nephew owes his fortune to you; he is +just going to be made general, and I and all the family will be +enchanted to make your acquaintance. I have come to offer my +services, and to beg that you will dine with me to-day, and on any +other day you please when you have nothing better to do, and I hope +you will always consider yourself of the family. + +"At the same time I beg of you not to tell anybody that my nephew has +become a Catholic, as according to the prejudices of the country it +would be a dishonour which would reflect on the whole family." + +I accepted his invitation, and promised to say nothing about the +circumstance he had mentioned. + +I left my letters of introduction, and I received everywhere a +welcome of the most distinguished kind. Madame de Gentil-Langalerie +appeared the most amiable of all the ladies I called on, but I had +not time to pay my court to one more than another. Every day +politeness called me to some dinner, supper, ball, or assembly. I +was bored beyond measure, and I felt inclined to say how troublesome +it is to have such a welcome. I spent a fortnight in the little +town, where everyone prides himself on his liberty, and in all my +life I have never experienced such a slavery, for I had not a moment +to myself. I was only able to pass one night with my sweetheart, and +I longed to set off with her for Geneva. Everybody would give me +letters of introduction for M. de Voltaire, and by their eagerness +one would have thought the great man beloved, whereas all detested +him on account of his sarcastic humour. + +"What, ladies!" said I, "is not M. de Voltaire good-natured, polite, +and affable to you who have been kind enough to act in his plays with +him?" + +"Not in the least. When he hears us rehearse he grumbles all the +time. We never say a thing to please him: here it is a bad +pronunciation, there a tone not sufficiently passionate, sometimes +one speaks too softly, sometimes too loudly; and it's worse when we +are acting. What a hubbub there is if one add a syllable, or if some +carelessness spoil one of his verses. He frightens us. So and so +laughed badly; so and so in Alzire had only pretended to weep." + +"Does he want you to weep really?" + +"Certainly. He will have real tears. He says that if an actor wants +to draw tears he must shed them himself." + +"I think he is right there; but he should not be so severe with +amateurs, above all with charming actresses like you. Such +perfection is only to be looked for from professionals, but all +authors are the same. They never think that the actor has pronounced +the words with the force which the sense, as they see it, requires." + +"I told him, one day, that it was not my fault if his lines had not +the proper force." + +"I am sure he laughed." + +"Laughed? No, sneered, for he is a rude and impertinent man." + +"But I suppose you overlook all these failings?" + +"Not at all; we have sent him about his business." + +"Sent him about his business?" + +"Yes. He left the house he had rented here, at short notice, and +retired to where you will find him now. He never comes to see us +now, even if we ask him." + +"Oh, you do ask him, though you sent him about his business?" + +"We cannot deprive ourselves of the pleasure of admiring his talents, +and if we have teased him, that was only from revenge, and to teach +him something of the manners of good society." + +"You have given a lesson to a great master." + +"Yes; but when you see him mention Lausanne, and see what he will say +of us. But he will say it laughingly, that's his way." + +During my stay I often saw Lord Rosebury, who had vainly courted my +charming Dubois. I have never known a young man more disposed to +silence. I have been told that he had wit, that he was well +educated, and even in high spirits at times, but he could not get +over his shyness, which gave him an almost indefinable air of +stupidity. At balls, assemblies--in fact, everywhere, his manners +consisted of innumerable bows. When one spoke to him, he replied in +good French but with the fewest possible words, and his shy manner +shewed that every question was a trouble to him. One day when I was +dining with him, I asked him some question about his country, which +required five or six small phrases by way of answer. He gave me an +excellent reply, but blushed all the time like a young girl when she +comes out. The celebrated Fox who was then twenty, and was at the +same dinner, succeeded in making him laugh, but it was by saying +something in English, which I did not understand in the least. Eight +months after I saw him again at Turin, he was then amorous of a +banker's wife, who was able to untie his tongue. + +At Lausanne I saw a young girl of eleven or twelve by whose beauty I +was exceedingly struck. She was the daughter of Madame de Saconai, +whom I had known at Berne. I do not know her after history, but the +impression she made on me has never been effaced. Nothing in nature +has ever exercised such a powerful influence over me as a pretty +face, even if it be a child's. + +The Beautiful, as I have been told, is endowed with this power of +attraction; and I would fain believe it, since that which attracts me +is necessarily beautiful in my eyes, but is it so in reality? I +doubt it, as that which has influenced me has not influenced others. +The universal or perfect beauty does not exist, or it does not +possess this power. All who have discussed the subject have +hesitated to pronounce upon it, which they would not have done if +they had kept to the idea of form. According to my ideas, beauty is +only form, for that which is not beautiful is that which has no form, +and the deformed is the opposite of the 'pulchrum' and 'formosum'. + +We are right to seek for the definitions of things, but when we have +them to hand in the words; why should we go farther? If the word +'forma' is Latin, we should seek for the Latin meaning and not the +French, which, however, often uses 'deforme' or 'difforme' instead of +'laid', ugly, without people's noticing that its opposite should be a +word which implies the existence of form; and this can only be +beauty. We should note that 'informe' in French as well as in Latin +means shapeless, a body without any definite appearance. + +We will conclude, then, that it is the beauty of woman which has +always exercised an irresistible sway over me, and more especially +that beauty which resides in the face. It is there the power lies, +and so true is that, that the sphinxes of Rome and Versailles almost +make me fall in love with them. though, the face excepted, they are +deformed in every sense of the word. In looking at the fine +proportions of their faces one forgets their deformed bodies. What, +then, is beauty? We know not; and when we attempt to define it or +to enumerate its qualities we become like Socrates, we hesitate. The +only thing that our minds can seize is the effect produced by it, and +that which charms, ravishes, and makes me in love, I call beauty. It +is something that can be seen with the eyes, and for my eyes I speak. +If they had a voice they would speak better than I, but probably in +the same sense. + +No painter has surpassed Raphael in the beauty of the figures which +his divine pencil produced; but if this great painter had been asked +what beauty was, he would probably have replied that he could not +say, that he knew it by heart, and that he thought he had reproduced +it whenever he had seen it, but that he did not know in what it +consisted. + +"That face pleases me," he would say, "it is therefore beautiful!" + +He ought to have thanked God for having given him such an exquisite +eye for the beautiful; but 'omne pulchrum difficile'. + +The painters of high renown, all those whose works proclaim genius, +have excelled in the delineation of the beautiful; but how small is +their number compared to the vast craved who have strained every +nerve to depict beauty and have only left us mediocrity! + +If a painter could be dispensed from making his works beautiful, +every man might be an artist; for nothing is easier than to fashion +ugliness, and brush and canvas would be as easy to handle as mortar +and trowel. + +Although portrait-painting is the most important branch of the art, +it is to be noted that those who have succeeded in this line are very +few. There are three kinds of portraits: ugly likenesses, perfect +likenesses, and those which to a perfect likeness add an almost +imperceptible character of beauty. The first class is worthy only of +contempt and their authors of stoning, for to want of taste and +talent they add impertinence, and yet never seem to see their +failings. The second class cannot be denied to possess real merit; +but the palm belongs to the third, which, unfortunately, are seldom +found, and whose authors deserve the large fortunes they amass. Such +was the famous Notier, whom I knew in Paris in the year 1750. This +great artist was then eighty, and in spite of his great age his +talents seemed in all their freshness. He painted a plain woman; it +was a speaking likeness, and in spite of that those who only saw the +portrait pronounced her to be a handsome woman. Nevertheless, the +most minute examination would not have revealed any faithlessness to +the original, but some imperceptible touches gave a real but +indefinite air of beauty to the whole. Whence does that magic art +take its source? One day, when he had been painting the plain- +looking "Mesdames de France," who on the canvas looked like two +Aspasias, I asked him the above question. He answered:-- + +"It is a magic which the god of taste distils from my brains through +my brushes. It is the divinity of Beauty whom all the world adores, +and which no one can define, since no one knows of what it consists. +That canvas shews you what a delicate shade there is between beauty +and ugliness; and nevertheless this shade seems an enormous +difference to those unacquainted with art." + +The Greek painters made Venus, the goddess of beauty, squint-eyed, +and this odd idea has been praised by some; but these painters were +certainly in the wrong. + +Two squinting eyes might be beautiful, but certainly not so beautiful +as if they did not squint, for whatever beauty they had could not +proceed from their deformity. + +After this long digression, with which the reader may not be very +well pleased, it is time for me to return to my sweetheart. The +tenth day of my visit to Lausanne, I went to sup and sleep with my +mistress, and that night was the happiest I remember. In the +morning, while we were taking coffee with her mother, I observed that +we seemed in no hurry to part. At this, the mother, a woman of few +words, took up the discourse in a polite and dignified manner, and +told me it was my duty to undeceive Lebel before I left; and at the +same time she gave me a letter she had had from him the evening +before. The worthy man begged her to remind me that if I could not +make up my mind to separate from her daughter before I left Lausanne, +it would be much more difficult for me to do so when I was farther +off; above all, if, as would probably be the case, she gave me a +living pledge of her love. He said that he had no thoughts of +drawing back from his word, but he should wish to be able to say that +he had taken his wife from her mother's hands. + +When I had read the letter aloud, the worthy mother wept, and left us +alone. A moment's silence ensued, and with a sigh that shewed what +it cost her, my dear Dubois had the courage to tell me that I must +instantly write to Lebel to give up all pretensions to her, or to +come and take her at once. + +"If I write and tell him to think no more of you, I must marry you +myself." + +"No." + +With this no she arose and left me. I thought it over for a quarter +of an hour, I weighed the pros and cons and still my love shrank from +the sacrifice. At last, on consideration that my housekeeper would +never have such a chance again, that I was not sure that I could +always make her happy, I resolved to be generous, and determined to +write to Lebel that Madame Dubois had decided of her own free will to +become his wife, that I had no right to oppose her resolution, and +that I would go so far as to congratulate him on a happiness I envied +him. I begged him to leave Soleure at once and come and receive her +in my presence from the hands of her worthy mother. + +I signed the letter and took it to my housekeeper, who was in her +mother's room. "Take this letter, dearest, and read it, and if you +approve its contents put your signature beside mine." She read it +several times, while her good mother wept, and then, with an +affectionate and sorrowful air, she took the pen and signed. I +begged her mother to find somebody to take the letter to Soleure +immediately, before my resolution was weakened by repentance. + +The messenger came, and as soon as he had gone, "Farewell," said I, +embracing her, with my eyes wet with tears, "farewell, we shall see +each other again as soon as Lebel comes." + +I went to my inn, a prey to the deepest grief. This sacrifice had +given a new impetus to my love for this charming woman, and I felt a +sort of spasm, which made me afraid I should get ill. I shut myself +up in my room, and I ordered the servants to say I was unwell and +could see no one. + +In the evening of the fourth day after, Lebel was announced. He +embraced me, saying his happiness would be due to me. He then left +me, telling me he would expect me at the house of his future bride. + +"Excuse me to-day, my dear fellow," said I, "but I will dine with you +there to-morrow." + +When he had left me, I told Le Duc to make all preparations for our +leaving the next day after dinner. + +I went out early on the following day to take leave of everybody, and +at noon Lebel came to take me to that sad repast, at which, however, +I was not so sad as I had feared. + +As I was leaving I begged the future Madame Lebel to return me the +ring I had given her, and as we had agreed, I presented her with a +roll of a hundred Louis, which she took with a melancholy air. + +"I should never have sold it," she said, "for I have no need of +money." + +"In that case I will give it back to you, but promise me never to +part with it, and keep the hundred Louis as some small reward of the +services you have rendered me." + +She shook my hand affectionately, put on my finger her wedding ring, +and left me to hide her grief. I wiped my tears away, and said to +Lebel, + +"You are about to possess yourself of a treasure which I cannot +commend too highly. You are a man of honour; you will appreciate her +excellent qualities, and you will know how to make her happy. She +will love you only, take care of your household, and keep no secrets +from you. She is full of wit and spirits, and will easily disperse +the slightest shadow of ill humour which may fall on you." + +I went in with him to the mother's room to take leave of her, and +Madame Dubois begged me to delay my departure and sup once more with +her. I told her that my horses were put in and the carriage waiting +at my door, and that such a delay would set tongues talking; but that +if she liked, she, her future husband and her mother, could come and +see me at an inn two leagues off on the Geneva road, where we could +stay as long as we liked. Lebel approved of the plan, and my +proposition was accepted. + +When I got back to my inn I found my carriage ready, and I got in and +drove to the meeting-place, and ordered a good supper for four, and +an hour later my guests arrived. + +The gay and even happy air of the newly betrothed surprised me, but +what astonished me more was the easy way with which she threw herself +into my arms as soon as she saw me. It put me quite out of +countenance, but she had more wit than I. However, I mustered up +sufficient strength to follow her cue, but I could not help thinking +that if she had really loved me she would not have found it possible +to pass thus from love to mere friendship. However, I imitated her, +and made no objections to those marks of affection allowed to +friendship, which are supposed to have no tincture of love in them. + +At supper I thought I saw that Lebel was more delighted at having +such a wife than at the prospect of enjoying her and satisfying a +strong passion. That calmed me; I could not be jealous of a man like +that. I perceived, too, that my sweetheart's high spirits were more +feigned than real; she wished to make me share them so as to render +our separation less bitter, and to tranquillise her future husband as +to the nature of our feelings for one another. And when reason and +time had quieted the tempest in my heart, I could not help thinking +it very natural that she should be pleased at the prospect of being +independent, and of enjoying a fortune. + +We made an excellent supper, which we washed down so well that at +last the gaiety which had been simulated ended by being real. I +looked at the charming Dubois with pleasure; I regarded her as a +treasure which had belonged to me, and which after making me happy +was with my full consent about to ensure the happiness of another. +It seemed to me that I had been magnanimous enough to give her the +reward she deserved, like a good Mussulman who gives a favourite +slave his freedom in return for his fidelity. Her sallies made me +laugh and recalled the happy moments I had passed with her, but the +idea of her happiness prevented my regretting having yielded my +rights to another. + +As Lebel was obliged to return to Lausanne in order to get back to +Soleure in two days, we had to part. I embraced him and asked him to +continue his friendship towards me, and he promised with great +effusion to be my friend till death. As we were going down the +stair, my charming friend said, with great candour, + +"I am not really gay, but I oblige myself to appear so. I shall not +be happy till the scar on my heart has healed. Lebel can only claim +my esteem, but I shall be his alone though my love be all for you. +When we see each other again, as from what you say I hope we shall, +we shall be able to meet as true friends, and perhaps we shall +congratulate each other on the wise part we have taken. As for you, +though I do not think you will forget me, I am sure that before long +some more or less worthy object will replace me and banish your +sorrow. I hope it will be so. Be happy. I may be with child; and +if it prove to be so, you shall have no cause to complain of my care +of your child, which you shall take away when you please. We made an +agreement on this point yesterday. We arranged that the marriage +should not be consummated for two months; thus we shall be certain +whether the child belongs to you or no, and we will let people think +that it is the legitimate offspring of our marriage. Lebel conceived +this plan that he might have his mind at rest on the supposed force +of blood, in which he declares he believes no more than I do. He has +promised to love the child as if he were its father. If you write to +me, I will keep you acquainted with everything; and if I have the +happiness to give you a child, it will be much dearer to me than your +ring." + +We wept, and Lebel laughed to see us. + +I could only reply by pressing her to my breast, and then I gave her +over to her future husband, who told me as he got into the carriage +that our long talk had pleased him very much. + +I went to bed sadly enough. Next morning when I awoke, a pastor of +the Church of Geneva carne to ask me to give him a place in my +carriage. I agreed, and was not sorry I had done so. + +This priest was an eloquent man, although a theologian, who answered +the most difficult religious questions I could put to him. There was +no mystery with him, everything was reason. I have never found a +more compliant Christianity than that of this worthy man, whose +morals, as I heard afterwards at Geneva, were perfectly pure. But I +found out that this kind of Christianity was not peculiar to him, all +his fellow-Calvinists thought in the same way. + +Wishing to convince him that he was a Calvinist in name only, since +he did not believe that Jesus Christ was of the same substance as the +Father, he replied that Calvin was only infallible where he spoke 'ex +cathedra', but I struck him dumb by quoting the words of the Gospel. +He blushed when I reproached him with Calvin's belief that the Pope +was the Antichrist of the Apocalypse. + +"It will be impossible to destroy this prejudice at Geneva," said he, +"till the Government orders the effacement of an inscription on the +church door which everybody reads, and which speaks of the head of +the Roman Church in this manner." + +"The people," he added, "are wholly ignorant; but I have a niece of +twenty, who does not belong to the people in this way. I shall have +the honour of making you known to her; she is a theologian, and +pretty as well." + +"I shall be delighted to see her, but God preserve me from arguing +with her!" + +"She will make you argue, and I can assure you that it will be a +pleasure for you!" + +"We shall see; but will you give me your address?" + +"No sir, but I shall have the honour of conducting you to your inn +and acting as your guide." + +I got down at Balances, and was well lodged. It was the 20th of +August, 1760. On going to the window I noticed a pane of glass on +which I read these words, written with the point of a diamond: "You +will forget Henriette." In a moment my thoughts flew back to the +time in which Henriette had written these words, thirteen years ago, +and my hair stood on end. We had been lodged in this room when she +separated from me to return to France. I was overwhelmed, and fell +on a chair where I abandoned myself to deep thought. Noble +Henriette, dear Henriette, whom I had loved so well; where was she +now? I had never heard of her; I had never asked anyone about her. +Comparing my present and past estates, I was obliged to confess that +I was less worthy of possessing her now than then. I could still +love, but I was no longer so delicate in my thoughts; I had not those +feelings which justify the faults committed by the senses, nor that +probity which serves as a contrast to the follies and frailties of +man; but, what was worst of all, I was not so strong. Nevertheless, +it seemed that the remembrance of Henriette restored me to my +pristine vigour. I had no longer my housekeeper; I experienced a +great void; and I felt so enthusiastic that if I had known where +Henriette was I should have gone to seek her out, despite her +prohibition. + +Next day, at an early hour, I went to the banker Tronchin, who had +all my money. After seeing my account, he gave me a letter of credit +on Marseilles, Genoa, Florence and Rome, and I only took twelve +thousand francs in cash. I had only fifty thousand crowns, three +hundred francs, but that would take me a good way. As soon as I had +delivered my letters, I returned to Balances, impatient to see M. de +Voltaire. + +I found my fellow-traveller in my room. He asked me to dinner, +telling me that I should have M. Vilars-Chandieu, who would take me +after dinner to M. de Voltaire, who had been expecting me for several +days. I followed the worthy man, and found at his house excellent +company, and the young theologian whom the uncle did not address till +dessert. + +I will endeavour to report as faithfully as possible the young +woman's conversation. + +"What have you been doing this morning, my dear niece?" + +"I have been reading St. Augustine, whom I thought absurd, and I +think I can refute him very shortly." + +"On what point?" + +"Concerning the mother of the Saviour." + +"What does St. Augustine say?" + +"You have no doubt remarked the passage, uncle. He says that the +Virgin Mary conceived Jesus Christ through the ears." + +"You do not believe that?" + +"Certainly not, and for three good reasons. In the first place +because God, being immaterial, had no need of a hole to go in or come +out by; in the second place, because the ear has no connection with +the womb; and in the third place, because Mary, if she had conceived +by the ear, would have given birth by the same channel. This would +do well enough for the Catholics," said she, giving me a glance, "as +then they would be reasonable in calling her a virgin before her +conception, during her pregnancy, and after she had given birth to +the child." + +I was extremely astonished, and my astonishment was shared by the +other guests. Divine theology rises above all fleshly +considerations, and after what we had heard we had either to allow +her this privilege, or to consider the young theologian as a woman +without shame. The learned niece did not seem to care what we +thought, as she asked for my opinion on the matter. + +"If I were a theologian and allowed myself an exact examination into +the miracles, it is possible I should be of your opinion; but as this +is by no means the case, I must limit myself to condemning St. +Augustine for having analysed the mystery of the Annunciation. I may +say, however, that if the Virgin had been deaf, St. Augustine would +have been guilty of a manifest absurdity, since the Incarnation would +have been an impossibility, as in that case the nerves of the ear +would have had no sort of communication with the womb, and the +process would have been inconceivable; but the Incarnation is a +miracle." + +She replied with great politeness that I had shown myself a greater +theologian than she, and her uncle thanked me for having given her a +lesson. He made her discuss various subjects, but she did not shine. +Her only subject was the New Testament. I shall have occasion to +speak of this young woman when I get back to Geneva. + +After dinner we went to see Voltaire, who was just leaving the table +as we came in. He was in the middle of a court of gentlemen and +ladies, which made my introduction a solemn one; but with this great +man solemnity could not fail to be in my favour. + + + + +End of this Project Gutenberg Etext of MEMOIRES OF JACQUES CASANOVA +THE ETERNAL QUEST, Vol. 3d, SWITZERLAND +by Jacques Casanova de Seingalt + diff --git a/old/jcswt11.zip b/old/jcswt11.zip Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..ab82e29 --- /dev/null +++ b/old/jcswt11.zip |