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diff --git a/29625-h/29625-h.htm b/29625-h/29625-h.htm new file mode 100644 index 0000000..966b670 --- /dev/null +++ b/29625-h/29625-h.htm @@ -0,0 +1,1048 @@ +<!DOCTYPE html PUBLIC "-//W3C//DTD XHTML 1.0 Strict//EN" + "http://www.w3.org/TR/xhtml1/DTD/xhtml1-strict.dtd"> + +<html xmlns="http://www.w3.org/1999/xhtml" xml:lang="en" lang="en"> + <head> + <meta http-equiv="Content-Type" content="text/html;charset=iso-8859-1" /> + <meta http-equiv="Content-Style-Type" content="text/css" /> + <title> + The Project Gutenberg eBook of Teething Ring, by James Causey + </title> + <style type="text/css"> + + p {margin-top: .75em; text-align: justify; margin-bottom: .75em;} + h1,h2,.bk1 {margin: 0 auto;} + h1 {text-align: left;} + h2,.rgt,.figc {text-align: right;} + hr {width: 45%; margin: 2em auto; clear: both; visibility: hidden;} + body {margin-left: 10%; margin-right: 10%;} + .figc {margin: 0 auto 4em; width: 529px;} + .trn {border: solid 1px; margin: 3em 15%; padding: 1em; text-align: justify;} + img {border: none;} + p.cap:first-letter {float: left; margin-right: .05em; padding-top: .05em; font-size: 300%; line-height: .8em; width: auto;} + .dcap {text-transform: uppercase;} + .bk1 {background: url("images/001.png") top left no-repeat; width: 529px; height: 550px;} + .bk2 {padding-top: 400px; padding-right: 320px; text-align: justify;} + + </style> + </head> +<body> + + +<pre> + +The Project Gutenberg EBook of Teething Ring, by James Causey + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: Teething Ring + +Author: James Causey + +Illustrator: Dick Francis + +Release Date: August 6, 2009 [EBook #29625] + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ISO-8859-1 + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK TEETHING RING *** + + + + +Produced by Greg Weeks, Stephen Blundell and the Online +Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net + + + + + + +</pre> + + +<div class="figc"><h1><big>Teething Ring</big></h1> + +<h2><small>By JAMES CAUSEY</small></h2> + +<div class="bk1"><div class="bk2"><big><b><i>Anyone can make an error, but the higher the +society ... the more disastrous the mistake!</i></b></big></div></div> + +<b>Illustrated by DICK FRANCIS</b></div> + +<p class="cap"><span class="dcap">Half</span> an hour before, while +she had been engrossed +in the current soap opera +and Harry Junior was screaming +in his crib, Melinda would naturally +have slammed the front door +in the little man's face. However, +when the bell rang, she was +wearing her new Chinese red +housecoat, had just lustered her +nails to a blinding scarlet, and +Harry Junior was sleeping like an +angel.</p> + +<p>Yawning, Melinda answered +the door and the little man said, +beaming, "Excellent day. I have +geegaws for information."</p> + +<p>Melinda did not quite recoil. +He was perhaps five feet tall, +with a gleaming hairless scalp +and a young-old face. He wore +a plain gray tunic, and a peddler's +tray hung from his thin +shoulders.</p> + +<p>"Don't want any," Melinda +stated flatly.</p> + +<p>"<i>Please.</i>" He had great, beseeching +amber eyes. "They all +say that. I haven't much time. I +must be back at the University +by noon."</p> + +<p>"You working your way +through college?"</p> + +<p>He brightened. "Yes. I suppose +you could call it that. Alien +anthropology major."</p> + +<p>Melinda softened. The initiations +those frats pulled nowadays—shaving +the poor guy's head, +eating goldfish—it was criminal.</p> + +<p>"Well?" she asked grudgingly. +"What's in the tray?"</p> + +<p>"Flanglers," said the little man +eagerly. "Oscilloscopes. Portable +force-field generators. A neural +distorter." Melinda's face was +blank. The little man frowned. +"You use them, of course? This +<i>is</i> a Class IV culture?" Melinda +essayed a weak shrug and the +little man sighed with relief. His +eyes fled past her to the blank +screen of the TV set. "Ah, a +monitor." He smiled. "For a moment +I was afraid—May I come +in?"</p> + +<hr /> + +<p class="cap"><span class="dcap">Melinda</span> shrugged, opened +the door. This might be interesting, +like a vacuum-cleaner +salesman who had cleaned her +drapes last week for free. And +Kitty Kyle Battles Life wouldn't +be on for almost an hour.</p> + +<p>"My name is Porteous," said +the little man with an eager smile. +"I'm doing a thematic on Class +IV cultures." He whipped out a +stylus, began jotting down notes. +The TV set fascinated him.</p> + +<p>"It's turned off right now," +Melinda said.</p> + +<p>Porteous's eyes widened impossibly. +"You mean," he whispered +in horror, "that you're exercising +Class V privileges? This is terribly +confusing. I get doors +slammed in my face, when Class +Fours are supposed to have a +splendid gregarian quotient—you +<i>do</i> have atomic power, don't +you?"</p> + +<p>"Oh, sure," said Melinda uncomfortably. +This wasn't going to +be much fun.</p> + +<p>"Space travel?" The little face +was intent, sharp.</p> + +<p>"Well," Melinda yawned, looking +at the blank screen, "they've +got Space Patrol, Space Cadet, +Tales of Tomorrow ..."</p> + +<p>"Excellent. Rocket ships or +force-fields?" Melinda blinked. +"Does your husband own one?" +Melinda shook her blonde head +helplessly. "What are your economic +circumstances?"</p> + +<p>Melinda took a deep rasping +breath, said, "Listen, mister, is +this a demonstration or a quiz +program?"</p> + +<p>"Oh, my excuse. Demonstration, +certainly. You will not mind +the questions?"</p> + +<p>"Questions?" There was an +ominous glint in Melinda's blue +eyes.</p> + +<p>"Your delightful primitive customs, +art-forms, personal habits—"</p> + +<p>"Look," Melinda said, crimsoning. +"This is a respectable +neighborhood, and I'm not answering +any Kinsey report, understand?"</p> + +<p>The little man nodded, scribbling. +"Personal habits are tabu? +I so regret. The demonstration." +He waved grandly at the tray. +"Anti-grav sandals? A portable +solar converter? Apologizing for +this miserable selection, but on +Capella they told me—" He followed +Melinda's entranced gaze, +selected a tiny green vial. "This +is merely a regenerative solution. +You appear to have no cuts or +bruises."</p> + +<p>"Oh," said Melinda nastily. +"Cures warts, cancer, grows hair, +I suppose."</p> + +<p>Porteous brightened. "Of +course. I see you can scan. Amazing." +He scribbled further with +his stylus, glanced up, blinked +at the obvious scorn on Melinda's +face. "Here. Try it."</p> + +<p>"You try it." Now watch him +squirm!</p> + +<p>Porteous hesitated. "Would +you like me to grow an extra +finger, hair—"</p> + +<p>"Grow some hair." Melinda +tried not to smile.</p> + +<p>The little man unstopped the +vial, poured a shimmering green +drop on his wrist, frowning.</p> + +<p>"Must concentrate," he said. +"Thorium base, suspended solution. +Really jolts the endocrines, +complete control ... see?"</p> + +<p>Melinda's jaw dropped. She +stared at the tiny tuft of hair +which had sprouted on that bare +wrist. She was thinking abruptly, +unhappily, about that chignon +she had bought yesterday. They +had let her buy that for eight +dollars when with this stuff she +could have a natural one.</p> + +<p>"How much?" she inquired +cautiously.</p> + +<p>"A half hour of your time +only," said Porteous.</p> + +<p>Melinda grasped the vial firmly, +settled down on the sofa with +one leg tucked carefully under +her.</p> + +<p>"Okay, shoot. But nothing personal."</p> + +<hr /> + +<p class="cap"><span class="dcap">Porteous</span> was delighted. He +asked a multitude of questions, +most of them pointless, +some naive, and Melinda dug +into her infinitesimal fund of +knowledge and gave. The little +man scribbled furiously, clucking +like a gravid hen.</p> + +<p>"You mean," he asked in +amazement, "that you live in +these primitive huts of your own +volition?"</p> + +<p>"It's a G.I. housing project," +Melinda said, ashamed.</p> + +<p>"Astonishing." He wrote: <i>Feudal +anachronisms and atomic +power, side by side. Class Fours +periodically "rough it" in back-to-nature movements.</i></p> + +<p>Harry Junior chose that moment +to begin screaming for his +lunch. Porteous sat, trembling. +"Is that a Security Alarm?"</p> + +<p>"My son," said Melinda despondently, +and went into the +nursery.</p> + +<p>Porteous followed, and watched +the ululating child with some +trepidation. "Newborn?"</p> + +<p>"Eighteen months," said Melinda +stiffly, changing diapers. +"He's cutting teeth."</p> + +<p>Porteous shuddered. "What a +pity. Obviously atavistic. +Wouldn't the creche accept him? +You shouldn't have to keep him +here."</p> + +<p>"I keep after Harry to get a +maid, but he says we can't afford +one."</p> + +<p>"Manifestly insecure," muttered +the little man, studying Harry +Junior. "Definite paranoid tendencies."</p> + +<p>"He was two weeks premature," +volunteered Melinda. "He's +real sensitive."</p> + +<p>"I know just the thing," Porteous +said happily. "Here." He +dipped into the glittering litter +on the tray and handed Harry +Junior a translucent prism. "A +neural distorter. We use it to +train regressives on Rigel Two. +It might be of assistance."</p> + +<p>Melinda eyed the thing doubtfully. +Harry Junior was peering +into the shifting crystal depths +with a somewhat strained expression.</p> + +<p>"Speeds up the neural flow," +explained the little man proudly. +"Helps tap the unused eighty +per cent. The pre-symptomatic +memory is unaffected, due to automatic +cerebral lapse in case of +overload. I'm afraid it won't do +much more than cube his present +IQ, and an intelligent idiot is +still an idiot, but—"</p> + +<p>"How dare you?" Melinda's +eyes flashed. "My son is <i>not</i> an +idiot! You get out of here this +minute and take your—things +with you." As she reached for +the prism, Harry Junior squalled. +Melinda relented. "Here," she +said angrily, fumbling with her +purse. "How much are they?"</p> + +<p>"Medium of exchange?" Porteous +rubbed his bald skull. "Oh, +I really shouldn't—but it'll make +such a wonderful addendum to +the chapter on malignant primitives. +What is your smallest denomination?"</p> + +<p>"Is a dollar okay?" Melinda +was hopeful.</p> + +<p>Porteous was pleased with the +picture of George Washington. +He turned the bill over and over +in his fingers, at last bowed low +and formally, apologized for any +tabu violations, and left via the +front door.</p> + +<p>"Crazy fraternities," muttered +Melinda, turning on the TV set.</p> + +<hr /> + +<p class="cap"><span class="dcap">Kitty Kyle</span> was dull that +morning. At length Melinda +used some of the liquid in the +green vial on her eyelashes, was +quite pleased at the results, and +hid the rest in the medicine +cabinet.</p> + +<p>Harry Junior was a model of +docility the rest of that day. +While Melinda watched TV and +munched chocolates, did and re-did +her hair, Harry Junior played +quietly with the crystal prism.</p> + +<p>Toward late afternoon, he +crawled over to the bookcase, +wrestled down the encyclopedia +and pawed through it, gurgling +with delight. He definitely, Melinda +decided, would make a fine +lawyer someday, not a useless +putterer like Big Harry, who +worked all hours overtime in that +damned lab. She scowled as +Harry Junior, bored with the encyclopedia, +began reaching for +one of Big Harry's tomes on +nuclear physics. One putterer in +the family was enough! But when +she tried to take the book away +from him, Harry Junior howled +so violently that she let well +enough alone.</p> + +<p>At six-thirty, Big Harry called +from the lab, with the usual +despondent message that he +would not be home for supper. +Melinda said a few resigned +things about cheerless dinners +eaten alone, hinted darkly what +lonesome wives sometimes did +for company, and Harry said he +was very sorry, but this might +be <i>it</i>, and Melinda hung up on +him in a temper.</p> + +<p>Precisely fifteen minutes later, +the doorbell rang. Melinda opened +the front door and gaped. +This little man could have been +Porteous's double, except for the +black metallic tunic, the glacial +gray eyes.</p> + +<p>"Mrs. Melinda Adams?" Even +the voice was frigid.</p> + +<p>"Y-Yes. Why—"</p> + +<p>"Major Nord, Galactic Security." +The little man bowed. "You +were visited early this morning +by one Porteous." He spoke the +name with a certain disgust. "He +left a neural distorter here. Correct?"</p> + +<p>Melinda's nod was tremulous. +Major Nord came quietly into +the living room, shut the door +behind him. "My apologies, +madam, for the intrusion. Porteous +mistook your world for a +Class IV culture, instead of a +Class VII. Here—" He handed +her the crumpled dollar bill. +"You may check the serial number. +The distorter, please."</p> + +<hr /> + +<p class="cap"><span class="dcap">Melinda</span> shrunk limply onto +the sofa. "I don't understand," +she said painfully. "Was +he a thief?"</p> + +<p>"He was—careless about his +spatial coordinates." Major +Nord's teeth showed in the faintest +of smiles. "He has been +corrected. Where is it?"</p> + +<p>"Now look," said Melinda with +some asperity. "That thing's kept +Harry Junior quiet all day. I +bought it in good faith, and it's +not my fault—say, have you got +a warrant?"</p> + +<p>"Madam," said the Major with +dignity, "I dislike violating local +tabus, but must I explain the impact +of a neural distorter on a +backwater culture? What if your +Neanderthal had been given +atomic blasters? Where would +you have been today? Swinging +through trees, no doubt. What if +your Hitler had force-fields?" He +exhaled. "Where is your son?"</p> + +<p>In the nursery, Harry Junior +was contentedly playing with his +blocks. The prism lay glinting in +the corner.</p> + +<p>Major Nord picked it up carefully, +scrutinized Harry Junior. +His voice was very soft.</p> + +<p>"You said he was—playing +with it?"</p> + +<p>Some vestigial maternal instinct +prompted Melinda to +shake her head vigorously. The +little man stared hard at Harry +Junior, who began whimpering. +Trembling, Melinda scooped up +Harry Junior.</p> + +<p>"Is <i>that</i> all you have to do—run +around frightening women +and children? Take your old distorter +and get out. Leave decent +people alone!"</p> + +<p>Major Nord frowned. If only he +could be sure. He peered stonily +at Harry Junior, murmured, +"Definite egomania. It doesn't +seem to have affected him. +Strange."</p> + +<p>"Do you want me to scream?" +Melinda demanded.</p> + +<p>Major Nord sighed. He bowed +to Melinda, went out, closed the +door, touched a tiny stud on his +tunic, and vanished.</p> + +<p>"The manners of some people," +Melinda said to Harry Junior. +She was relieved that the Major +had not asked for the green vial.</p> + +<p>Harry Junior also looked relieved, +although for quite a different +reason.</p> + +<hr /> + +<p class="cap"><span class="dcap">Big Harry</span> arrived home a +little after eleven. There were +small worry creases about his +mouth and forehead, and the +leaden cast of defeat in his eyes. +He went into the bedroom and +Melinda sleepily told him about +the little man working his way +through college by peddling silly +goods, and about that rude cop +named Nord, and Harry said that +was simply astonishing and Melinda +said, "Harry, you had a +drink!"</p> + +<p>"I had two drinks," Harry told +her owlishly. "You married a +failure, dear. Part of the experimental +model vaporized, <i>wooosh</i>, +just like that. On paper it looked +so good—"</p> + +<p>Melinda had heard it all before. +She asked him to see if +Harry Junior was covered, and +Big Harry went unsteadily into +the nursery, sat down by his son's +crib.</p> + +<p>"Poor little guy," he mused. +"Your old man's a bum, a useless +tinker. He thought he could +send Man to the stars on a +string of helium nuclei. Oh, he +was smart. Thought of everything. +Auxiliary jets to kick off +the negative charge, bigger mercury +vapor banks—a fine straight +thrust of positive Alpha particles." +He hiccuped, put his face +in his hands.</p> + +<p>"Didn't you ever stop to think +that a few air molecules could +defocus the stream? Try a vacuum, +stupid."</p> + +<p>Big Harry stood up.</p> + +<p>"Did you say something, son?"</p> + +<p>"Gurfle," said Harry Junior.</p> + +<p>Big Harry reeled into the living +room like a somnambulist.</p> + +<p>He got pencil and paper, began +jotting frantic formulae. Presently +he called a cab and raced +back to the laboratory.</p> + +<hr /> + +<p class="cap"><span class="dcap">Melinda</span> was dreaming +about little bald men with +diamond-studded trays. They +were chasing her, they kept pelting +her with rubies and emeralds, +all they wanted was to ask questions, +but she kept running, Harry +Junior clasped tightly in her +arms. Now they were ringing +alarm bells. The bells kept ringing +and she groaned, sat up in +bed, and seized the telephone.</p> + +<p>"Darling." Big Harry's voice +shook. "I've got it! More auxiliary +shielding plus a vacuum. +We'll be rich!"</p> + +<p>"That's just fine," said Melinda +crossly. "You woke the +baby."</p> + +<p>Harry Junior was sobbing bitterly +into his pillow. He was sick +with disappointment. Even the +most favorable extrapolation +showed it would take him nineteen +years to become master of +the world.</p> + +<p>An eternity. Nineteen years!</p> + +<p class="rgt"><b>—JAMES CAUSEY</b></p> + +<div class="trn"><b>Transcriber's Note:</b> +This etext was produced from <i>Galaxy Science Fiction</i> January 1953. +Extensive research did not uncover any evidence that the U.S. +copyright on this publication was renewed. Minor spelling and +typographical errors have been corrected without note.</div> + + + + + + + + +<pre> + + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Teething Ring, by James Causey + +*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK TEETHING RING *** + +***** This file should be named 29625-h.htm or 29625-h.zip ***** +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: + http://www.gutenberg.org/2/9/6/2/29625/ + +Produced by Greg Weeks, Stephen Blundell and the Online +Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net + + +Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions +will be renamed. + +Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no +one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation +(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without +permission and without paying copyright royalties. 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