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diff --git a/.gitattributes b/.gitattributes new file mode 100644 index 0000000..6833f05 --- /dev/null +++ b/.gitattributes @@ -0,0 +1,3 @@ +* text=auto +*.txt text +*.md text diff --git a/29597-8.txt b/29597-8.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..338fd11 --- /dev/null +++ b/29597-8.txt @@ -0,0 +1,2109 @@ +The Project Gutenberg EBook of Neighbor Nelly Socks, by Sarah L. Barrow + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: Neighbor Nelly Socks + Being the Sixth and Last Book of the Series + +Author: Sarah L. Barrow + +Release Date: August 3, 2009 [EBook #29597] + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ISO-8859-1 + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK NEIGHBOR NELLY SOCKS *** + + + + +Produced by David Edwards, Emmy and the Online Distributed +Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net (This file was +produced from images generously made available by The +Internet Archive) + + + + + + + + +[Illustration: OUR PARTY.] + + + + +THE SOCK STORIES, + +BY "AUNT FANNY'S" DAUGHTER. + +NEIGHBOR NELLY SOCKS: + +BEING + +THE SIXTH AND LAST BOOK OF THE SERIES. + +BY + +"AUNT FANNY'S" DAUGHTER, + +THE AUTHOR OF "THE LITTLE WHITE ANGEL." + + NEW YORK: + LEAVITT & ALLEN, 21 & 23 MERCER ST. + 1863. + + ENTERED, according to Act of Congress, in the year 1862, by + S. L. BARROW, + + In the Clerk's Office of the District Court of the United States + for the + Southern District of New York. + + + JOHN F. TROW, + PRINTER, STEREOTYPER, AND ELECTROTYPER, + 50 Greene Street, New York. + + + + + TO + + MY DEAR FATHER, + + TO WHOSE KINDLY AND CHARMING WAYS WITH THE + + "LITTLE FOLK" + + I OWE THE CHARACTER OF "NEIGHBOR OLDBIRD," + + THIS BOOK + + IS LOVINGLY DEDICATED. + + + + +CONTEXTS OF VOL. VI. + + PAGE + + NEIGHBOR NELLY. IN THREE STORIES. + + 1. THE OLD BACHELOR'S STORY, 7 + + 2. THE BIG BOY'S STORY, 45 + + 3. THE FAT GENTLEMAN'S STORY, 86 + + POSTSCRIPT BY THE OLD BACHELOR, 90 + + CONCLUSION, 132 + + + + +NEIGHBOR NELLY. + +IN THREE STORIES. + + + + +THE OLD BACHELOR'S STORY. + + +IN the city block where I live, there are just twenty-four houses on the +other side of the street, and twenty-four on this side, six lamp posts, +and eight ailanthus trees in green boxes. Oh, dear me, what a tiresome +row! That's what I thought when I first came to lodge here; for, as I am +an old bachelor, I don't want a whole house to myself; but now, when I +sit at my window and look out at the street, I find no end of things to +amuse and interest me; particularly when the gas is lighted of an +evening, and I can see a little way into the parlors of the opposite +neighbors. I suppose they know that an old bachelor like Josiah Oldbird +can do no harm by looking on at their evening amusements; so they do not +pull the blinds down if they chance to see me, sitting lonely at my +window, and willing to accept such crumbs of their society and happiness +as I can glean over the way. + +First, then, is the family at No. 7, three maiden sisters and a bachelor +brother. As I don't in the least know their names, I have dubbed them +the Bluejays, because the three maiden sisters always wear blue merino +gowns in winter, and blue muslin ones in summer; and because they are +all so fond of singing that no family of birds could be more musical. +They have a pet poodle and a pet squirrel, too. The poodle is very fat, +and his hair sticks out so much all over him, that he looks perpetually +astonished, as if he had just seen a spook. He always stands on the +window sill, when the sash is raised of an afternoon, and glares into +the street until he sees the bachelor brother coming. Then he achieves a +series of frantic yells and bounces, until somebody comes to open the +door and lets him out, when he waddles to the front steps to meet his +master, wagging his tail to that tremendous extent, that it looks like +the shuttle of a steam power loom. + +The squirrel is slim and sleek, and seems to enjoy life amazingly, he +hops about so. When one of the Miss Bluejays takes him in her arms, he +won't stay there, but gets away, and walks all over her head and +shoulders; and at last runs down her back and disappears. + +Then, at No. 11, a very fat gentleman lives with his fat and pretty +wife, and round dumpling of a baby. As I don't know him either, I call +him Mr. Fatty, and he seems to be a "good-natured giant." I saw a little +boy actually stop short to stare at him the other day, when he was +sitting out at his front door--he is such a regular roly-poly of a +gentleman--but he only laughed good-temperedly, and never got vexed in +the least. I don't advise you to try this with all fat gentlemen though; +they might accidentally sit down on a chair--where you were--afterward, +and that would be the last of you. This piece of advice, however, is a +great secret between you and me! + +[Illustration] + +He is so glad to meet the fat baby when he comes home at night, that I +can see him in the parlor first kissing it almost black and blue, and +then tossing it up in the air until I feel as though its head must come +bump against the ceiling, but it doesn't--and at last, carrying it off +perched on his shoulder, and looking very much perturbed in its spirits. + +But the pleasantest neighbors of all live exactly opposite, at No. 9. +They take tea every evening in the back parlor; and as the front window +shades are up, and only the back room lighted, I can always see them at +their cheerful meal. The rooms are furnished in winter with dark red +velvet carpets and furniture; with red damask curtains and red velvet +paper hangings. In summer they put up white curtains, and carpets and +furniture have cool, cream-colored linen coverings, so that the parlors +look cozy and charming at all seasons. + +As for the family there is a papa and mamma, of course, and a dear +little girl and boy. The little girl is about ten years old, I should +think, with great, dark-blue eyes, and curling auburn hair. Her cheeks +are as rosy as ripe peaches, and her teeth as white as so many pearls. +Her nose does turn up at the end a little, to be sure; but that is +rather saucy and becoming than otherwise; and she always looks so sweet +tempered, and full of fun, too, when I see her of an evening, that I am +sure she is as good as pie, and as merry as a cricket! Her little +brother, who is a year or two younger, looks very much like her, and +their obedient and pretty behavior at table is something really +beautiful to observe. + +It is nearly a year now, since I moved into my lodging at "No. 10," and +began to wonder what No. 9's name was; and now I must make haste and +tell you how, only last June, I became acquainted with these dear little +neighbors of mine. + +One pleasant Friday morning, after breakfast, I put on my old-fashioned +beaver hat, and taking my gold-headed cane in one hand and my market +basket in the other, I trotted out to buy something nice for dinner; +for, you see, I am a particular old bachelor, and like to market for +myself. + +Just as I was coming down the steps, the door of No. 9 opened, and the +little girl ran down _her_ steps. She looked so bright and pretty in her +cunning round straw hat with the blue ribbons, and white Marseilles +cloak, carrying her satchel of books and lunch basket in her hand, that +I could not help nodding to her. So she nodded to me, and then _I_ +nodded again and smiled, and we each walked along on our own side of the +way. When we came to the corner I thought I would cross over and scrape +some more acquaintance with my little neighbor. Now on the side of her +satchel, I saw, when I came near her, was printed in gold letters, +"Nelly Lawson;" so I said, as cheerily as I could, in my old, quavering +voice: + +"Good morning, Neighbor Nelly!" + +The little maiden looked up in my face in a shy fashion at first; but +when she saw what a mild, gray-headed old bachelor had bade her good +morning, she took courage, and answered, "Good morning, sir." + +"So you are going to school this fine day?" + +"Yes; I go to school, but brother Jimmy doesn't; he learns at home. I +think he is going next year. Have you got a baby at your house? We +have." + +"No," said I, sighing; "I haven't got any baby; I am an old bachelor. +Will you marry me?" + +"Oh, I am too little," she replied quite seriously. "You will have to +wait until I grow up to you." + +I laughed, and asked her, "Don't you want to go to market with me before +you go to school? There is plenty of time." + +"No," replied my little neighbor, firmly; "I can't go anywheres that +mamma does not know of." + +"That's right!" I said. "Don't do anything your mother would disapprove. +Well, Neighbor Nelly, since you won't go to market with me, I must go to +school with you; and tell your mother that Neighbor Josiah Oldbird would +like you to take a walk with him to-morrow; will you?" + +"Oh yes! that would be real nice!" said my little neighbor with a +joyous skip. + +By this time we were walking along hand in hand; and soon, seeing my +little neighbor look in at the window of the candy shop round the corner +from our street, I thought I would take her in and buy her some candy. +So in we marched, Nelly's great blue eyes dancing with pleased +expectation, and stood close by the counter, waiting for our turn to +come. There were a good many people in the candy shop, and we had to +wait some time; so, to amuse ourselves, Neighbor Nelly and I turned +round, and began looking at the funny folks near us. + +There was one very fat old country woman, who seemed to be buying +"quarter or pound," as she said, of every kind of candy in the shop. As +soon as the papers were handed to her she began eating out of them, and +before she left, I should think, she had eaten about two pounds of +candy. Besides the old woman, there were a great many little children, +who only wanted a penny's worth each; but they hesitated so long whether +to have "taffie" or "molasses," a lemon-candy horse, or a cinnamon-candy +trumpet, that they were the most troublesome customers of anybody. Then +there were several older boys and girls; some, I am sorry to say, +picking up a loose bit of candy every time the shopman turned away--as +if that were not stealing; and finally, there was Neighbor Nelly and I, +who did none of these things, but just looked on, and waited until the +shopman came to serve us. + +I bought some lemon candy, as clear as a bit of yellow glass, and some +pungent cinnamon, and delectable chocolate; and then I popped the papers +into Neighbor Nelly's satchel, and we hurried on to school. We had not +far to go now, and when we came to the house, my little new friend bid +me good-by, and thanked me so sweetly, that I went away quite a happy +old bachelor. + +In the evening I was looking out of my window as usual, when I saw the +servant girl come in to light the gas in the back parlor at No. 9, with +Neighbor Nelly and the little brother Jimmy behind her. While she was +setting the tea table, the children came running to the window, and both +nodded and smiled at me. Presently the little boy thrust both hands in +his pockets, and held them up crammed full of candy. "Thank you, Mr. Old +Bachelor!" he shouted; "we like you real well!" + +That made me real happy; for I am not a crabbed old bachelor by any +means. In a minute more their father came home; and as they all sat +around the pleasant tea table, I hope they talked of their lonely old +neighbor, who watched them from his window. + +The next morning, as I was reading the paper, in came the servant and +gave me the funniest little note! It was addressed on the outside, "To +my neighbor Oldbird," and ran thus: + + "MY DEAR NEIGHBOR: + + "Mamma says I may take a walk with you this + morning, because you are a good old bachelor. + Jimmy wants to go, and Gipsey. Gipsey is my dog. + He is black and tan, and his tail curls round so, + that papa says you might use it for a cork-screw. + Jimmy and I mean to try some time. Gipsey likes to + be on the seashore, and so does baby. We are going + there next week--to Long Branch. I hope you will + write me a letter when I am gone, and I am + Your affectionate + "NEIGHBOR NELLY. + + "Saturday Morning." + +You may believe how pleased I was with this dear little note, and I +thought I would answer it. So I sat down at my writing desk, found a +cunning little sheet of paper, with a flag on it, and commenced. + +Now I happened to think, at that moment, of some very comical letters +written by the great poet, Tom Hood, to his little friends on the +seashore; and as they were ever so much funnier than anything I could +have written, I copied one of them out, and sent it to my little new +friend. + + "MY DEAR NEIGHBOR NELLY: + + "I am very glad you are to walk with me, and very + sorry you are going away so soon. Do you like to + be on the seashore? I did, when I was a boy. I + and my brother chucked hundreds of stones into the + sea, when we were there, but we came away before + we could fill it up. Then there is the fun of + finding shiny pebbles and jelly fish on the beach. + I used to think jelly fish were made of + sea-calves' feet, and no flavoring. I suppose the + mermaids eat them at their parties. + + "Then there's fishing on the seaside. I used to + catch flat fish sometimes, with a long string + line, it was like swimming a kite. If you go out + in a surf boat, take care it does not "flounder" + and get "squamped," as some people say, instead of + founder and swamped. + + "Have you ever been bathed in the sea? I was, + and, dear me! how I kicked and screamed; or, at + least, tried to scream, but the sea, ships and + all, began to run into my mouth, and so I shut it + up. Remember, when you are bathing, if you meet + with a shark, the best way is to bite off his + legs, if you can, before he walks away with yours; + and pray, pray, pray take care of yourself in the + sea, for in some places, they say, it has not even + a bottom to go to. + + "Could you bring me a little crab off the beach? + If you would catch one for me, and teach it to + shake hands without nipping and biting, it would + make me quite happy, for I have not had any toys + or playthings in a long time. It would be a good + plan to hire a little crab to teach the baby to + crawl, if he can't walk yet. Bless him! But I must + not write on him any more; he is so soft, and I + have nothing but steel pens. + + "Now good-by; give my love to everybody, and my + compliments to all the rest, and believe me, up + hill and down dale, + + "Your affectionate neighbor, + "JOSIAH OLDBIRD." + +Then I put my letter in a flag envelope, sealed it up tight, and wrote +on it, "To my dear Neighbor Nelly," and had the maid take it to her. + +Presently I could see two little figures flitting about in one of the +upper chambers, and soon after all four of us, Nelly, Jimmy, I, and +Gipsey, were in the street. Gipsey was a "toy terrier" that ought to +have belonged to "Commodore Nutt," the dwarf at "Barnum's," and ran +along on three legs most of the time, with the fourth, and his +cork-screw tail elevated in the air for joy at being allowed to join the +party; while the children were all hop, skip, and jump, and kept tight +hold of a hand of mine apiece, as though they were afraid of flying away +if they let go. Meanwhile, I walked quietly along, with my market basket +on my arm, a sober old bachelor. I expect the people who passed us in +the street thought me a rather incongruous addition to such a frisky +party; but then, you know, children _must_ caper about. Bless your +heart! it would never do in the world to see children mincing solemnly +along, like little old men and women; it would be as absurd as to have +my Neighbor Nelly wearing her great-grandmother's coal-scuttle bonnet! +The last idea struck me as so odd, that I drew a little picture of +Neighbor Nelly in this guise when I got home, and here it is. How do you +like it? + +[Illustration] + +We thought we would go to market first. So we walked slowly down Fourth +Avenue, and crossed over to the market where the Seventh Regiment armory +is, opposite the Cooper Institute. + +"My cousin is a Seventh Regimenter!" said Jimmy as we climbed up the +iron steps; "he often let us look on at his company drills last winter, +and afterward Nelly and I drilled in our yard. The big boy who comes to +see the old ladies next door, looked over the fence and laughed at us, +but we didn't care; and we mean to fight for our country like everything +when we are bigger; that is, I mean to, and Nelly would like to, but +she's only a girl, you know." + +"Only a girl!" repeated Nelly, tossing her long curls; "girls are a +great deal of use, too; I mended all his stockings and all papa's this +week--think of that, neighbor Oldbird!" + +"That was really splendid!" said I; and just then we entered the market. + +The very first thing we met was a horrid big dog, that belonged to some +butcher; and, bless me! how he began to show his great rows of teeth, +and growl at Gipsey! Nelly gave a little scream, and tried to hide +behind me; Jimmy valiantly flew at the big dog with my walking stick; +and poor little Gipsey nearly stood on the end of his tail with fright, +and squealed dismally. What a fuss we were all in, to be sure! So at +last, to quiet the disputants, I caught Gipsey up, and put him in my +coat pocket, where he sat, looking out at the top, very much comforted. + +Then we turned to the right, and went by the brightest and prettiest +stall in the whole market. It was kept by a Frenchman, who, in his own +language, would be called a "_charcutier_;" but Jimmy and Nell shouted +out together "Oh, there's the _pig man_!" as loud as ever they could, +and then stopped, blushing very much, because they were afraid the pork +merchant heard them. I expect he did; for he looked very funny when we +came close, and smoothing down his snowy apron with his fat hands, said +"Bonjour, mademoiselle!" and laughed good humoredly. There was a great +"head cheese" on the pig man's marble counter, moulded in the shape of a +boar's head. The tusks were made of white carrots, the eyes of red +jelly, and the sides of the dish it was on were beautifully ornamented +with white roses, cut out of turnips, and parsley foliage. Then there +were ever so many pork pies, with the most elegant wreaths of flowers on +the top crust, comical little hams already cooked, and fat dumplings of +sucking pigs, as pink as baby himself! + +When we had looked about us a little, we concluded to buy a pork pie of +the pig man; and while that was being nicely packed up in paper, out +popped Gipsey from my pocket, and stood triumphant on the counter, in +the midst of the little pigs and savory pastries. I don't know what +forays he would not have made upon them, if he had not been captured by +the pig man, Jimmy, and me; but he did contrive to jump right into the +very middle of another pork-pie! and then we had to pay for that, too; +and wipe the gravy off Gipsey's feet and the ends of his tail and nose, +and button him up tight in the market basket for half an hour, as a +punishment for his naughtiness. As to the pie we had bought, Jimmy +carried that, and Gipsey cut up so many antics inside the basket, that +he nearly wriggled it out of my hand altogether. + +After that we went on, and found, dear me! such a comfortable old market +woman, who sold us a nice little chicken, and some fresh vegetables, and +gave the children each a great handful of cherries; but we had to tell +her to send them home, with our pie, because Gipsey had the basket in +possession. + +Then we walked into the street again, and when we had let Gipsey out of +prison, concluded to leave the basket at my baker's, and take a walk in +Broadway. Dear, dear me! what quantities of shop windows there were to +stare into, and how we flattened our three noses, and spread our six +hands all over every one of them, while we admired the splendid picture +books, the stores of sugar plums, or the wonders of toys they contained! +While we were occupied in this way, a little girl, poorly dressed, and +lugging a large bundle of work in both arms, came along, and stopping +beside us at the window of the most splendid toy shop, stood looking +wistfully in. + +Neighbor Nelly straightway twitched my hand, and whispered, "Oh look, +Neighbor Oldbird! what a poor little girl! I don't suppose she ever saw +a doll before in her life. How she must wish she had one!" + +"Suppose we ask her?" I said. + +"Will you ask?" she answered; "I don't like to." + +"Nonsense! ask her yourself; she won't eat you, or Gipsey either;" for +Gipsey was sidling away between my feet, as if he were alarmed too; the +saucy scamp! + +Thereupon Nelly moved closer to the poor girl, and said, in a kind, +little, timid voice, "Do you like dolls?" + +"Yes, very much!" said the child, with a surprised look. + +"Oh, so do I!" cried Nelly, rapturously. "I have lots of them at home; +let me see, there's Jenny, and Willie, and old black Nanny, and--" she +stopped short, seeing the other look wistfully at her, and then said, +"Oh, I forgot! you have none, perhaps; would you like to have one?" + +"Oh yes, miss!" said the child; "not so much for myself, though, as my +little sister; she is sick, and can't do anything, poor Clara! but I +work, and help my mother!" she added, proudly. + +"What does your mother do?" asked Jimmy. + +"She makes shirts for the army; and I do all the button holes." + +"I can't make a button hole," said Nelly, regretfully. + +Here I proposed we should walk into the shop, and after we had looked +all we wanted to at the pretty things, and the children, with screams of +delight, had ridden in turn on a "spring rocking horse," that sent them +flying half way to the top of the glass cases behind the counter, I gave +Jimmy and Nelly each two shillings, and told them to buy whatever the +little girl would like best. The poor little thing's eyes sparkled with +happiness when Nelly bought her the composition doll she chose out of a +heap that were piled in a great basket, gorgeously dressed in pink +mosquito netting, as I thought, but which Nelly informed me was a +"tarletane;" and Jimmy laid out his money on a tiny bowl and pitcher of +sprigged china ware, and an astonished china baby sitting in a bath, and +looking as if it had turned on the hot water, and couldn't turn it off +again. + +Then we trundled Gipsey about a little in a wicker wagon we found, and +put him in the patent baby-jumper to take an airing; and at last, when +we had teased him till he barked like one of the toy poodles on the +shelves, we took ourselves off, and sent the poor child on her way +rejoicing. + +But it was getting late, and time to trot home, before His Majesty the +Sun roasted us all like so many eggs. Our street is always shady and +cool, it seems to me, and we were glad enough to find ourselves once +more on its pavement. I invited Nelly and Jimmy and Gipsey all to take +lunch with me, and didn't we have fun! We ate the pork pie, and stuffed +Gipsey with lumps of sugar, and discovered a pot of raspberry jam in the +closet, and ornamented ourselves with red rims round our mouths, digging +it out; and sliced, and buttered, and disposed of almost half a loaf of +French bread, and hardly stopped laughing, chattering, and barking a +single minute. + +And then, after all this was over, my little neighbors bid me good-by, +and Gipsey barked at me and poked his cold nose into my hand, which +meant "Good-by and thank you," all the same, and the three went home as +merry as crickets. + +I could not see much of my little neighbors before they went away the +next Tuesday, but I was invited to take tea at No. 9 the very last +evening; and then, what should I find out but that Nelly's mamma was the +daughter of an old friend of mine whom I had not seen for years! So we +felt quite like relations right away. Just as tea was over, lo and +behold! there was a tremendous hullaballoo on the back piazza, and when +we poked our heads out of the window to see what the matter was, there +was Gipsey high and dry on the back of Miss Bluejay's fat poodle--having +squeezed through the railing which separated the two piazzas--with the +squirrel, which had come to the rescue of his friend, hanging on to his +tail! and all three setting up a squeal of remonstrance. Gipsey's plight +was so extremely well deserved, that we wouldn't go to his rescue; but +at last, with a tremendous twist, he snatched away his cork-screw tail, +and ran to hide himself and his injured feelings under the sofa in the +front room. How we laughed at him! and how Nelly tried to make him come +out and be lump-sugared into good humor, but he wouldn't; so, to make +up, we coaxed the fat poodle, which had been staring in at the +performance and sniffing satisfaction, to sit up and beg for us until we +gave him the lump of sugar. Then Mrs. Lawson sat down to the piano, and +began playing a funny little hornpipe tune that sounded just like a +banjo; and, to our astonishment, the fat poodle developed another +accomplishment; for, getting on his hind legs, he gravely hopped up and +down on the piazza, keeping time to the music, until we nearly died of +laughter. + +You may fancy, after all these comical doings, that we managed to spend +a merry evening, and when I at last bid my neighbors good night, it was +no longer with the feeling that I was a lonely old bachelor. + +I did find the street pretty lonely though, after they had gone, next +day, with two great big trunks strapped on behind the carriage, a +middling sized trunk hoisted up in front, and several small carpet bags, +and tiny tawny bundles and baskets in every place where room could be +found. I fancy Gipsey was in one of the baskets, by the way it bounced +and wriggled about in Neighbor Nelly's lap; but I don't know; I only saw +it from my window, whence I waved an adieu to them as they rolled away. + +A few days after they had gone, I thought I would amuse myself, in their +absence, by trying to find out if any of the other neighbors knew +anything about my neighbor, Nelly. I succeeded in learning what two of +them knew, and they shall tell it for themselves in the stories that +follow, and which I have written out. And now, if any other dear little +children have been pleased with me, in what I have told of my walks and +talks with Neighbor Nelly, just let them come to No. 10, and meet the +hearty greeting and loving welcome of the + + OLD BACHELOR! + + + + +THE BIG BOY'S STORY. + + +YOU want me to tell you what I know about the pretty little girl next +door? Well, I'm ready to begin, if you won't mind my talk; I'm only a +boy, you know, and can't use fine words--that's all humbug. + +My name is Tom Halstead. I am nephew to the Miss Brandlaws, who live at +No. 7. The idea of calling my darling old friskies "The Bluejays!" (If +you don't give me that Australian post stamp I saw in your desk, I'll +tell 'em, too!) However, to go on with my story. + +One morning last winter, just at the end of the Christmas holidays, +while I was on a visit there, I didn't know what on earth to do with +myself. So I caught Poddles (that's the poodle), dressed him up in Aunt +Elsie's nightcap, tied a life preserver round him, and put him in the +portable shower-bath, just for fun; it didn't hurt him a bit, and--would +you believe it? the hateful thing hopped out, squealing murder, shook +himself all over the carpet, scratched off the nightcap, and danced +round the room with it in a fury, till it was in perfect rags. + +Up rushed Aunt Elsie, and was so horrified when she saw the carpet and +her cap in such a mess, and "darling doggie" all "wetsey-petsey," that +she locked me up in my room for the rest of the day on bread and water! +and there was gingerbread, with raisins in it, baking down stairs!! +Horrid!!! + +Of course I couldn't spend my time sucking my thumbs; so, like a +sensible fellow, I set myself to find some better employment, and soon a +grand idea came into my head. I had just finished reading a jolly +old-fashioned novel I found in Uncle Herbert's room, called "The Castle +Spectre: a Tale of Spain;" where a goose of a lover, such a spooney! had +scrambled down from the top of a castle, hanging on to his bedclothes. +_Now_, don't you see it? Perhaps not, so I'll explain. + +My bedroom is the third floor, back room, always; and you know that +piazza at the back of the house? Well, what did I do, but twitch off +_my_ bedcover--nice white one it was, too--tie it to the bedpost, and +let the end hang out of the window. Then I scrambled out, and slid down +the wall like a streak of lightning! You can't think what jolly fun it +was! + +There was lots of amusement in the yard; twelve cats on the fence to +plague, and no end of snow to make balls and pelt the cook with; beside, +the gingerbread was just baked, and I got a _brown corner_! So! there! +while I was eating it, and it was so hot that it almost sizzled, all at +once I heard a lot of noise in the next yard. Some boys seemed to be +having a drill there; so I ran up the steps leading from the piazza to +the ground, and looked over the fence. But lor now! what do you think? +one of the boys was a girl! She had on long india-rubber boots, and I +called out, "Go it, Boots!" + +Then the little boy that was with her, who seemed to be her brother, +looked so mad at me! and, really and truly, I couldn't help plaguing +them a little. I know you think I was real mean; but if you had seen how +funny they looked, in paper cocked hats, with turkey tails for feathers, +and the little boy thumping a big tin saucepan for a drum, you would +have laughed, too; so you needn't look so provoked, Neighbor Oldbird! + +"Gee up, awkward squad!" I said; "double quick halt on the right flank! +Ha-ahup!" + +But the little girl only laughed good humoredly, and said: "Jimmy and I +belong to the Seventh Regiment, and drill in the last fashion. Don't you +want to come and learn the Lefferts Tactics?" + +Wasn't she a nice little thing! Never got mad or anything, but just gave +me back as good as I sent. I declare, I fell right smack in love with +her that minute, and I don't care a fig now for the girl I met in +dancing school, upon my word I don't; so I rushed back into the +kitchen, coaxed the cook to give me two more hunks of gingerbread, and +called out, "Won't you have some cake?" + +They came running up on the piazza like lamplighters; and while they +were eating the gingerbread, _I_ was eating something I got especially +for myself at the same time. Did you ever try it? You have a great big +sour apple, as cold as it can be, and a tremendous pickled pepper, as +hot as it can be; then you take first a bite of the pepper, and nearly +burn all the skin off your throat, and then a bite of the apple to cool +it again; and so on. It's gorgeous, I tell you! + +Presently the little boy (whose name, as I said, was Jimmy), stopped +his eating to ask me, "Do you live in New York?" + +"No, I live at White Plains. I go to the Military Academy there; don't +you want me to show you some drill?" + +"Oh, Cousin Charley is going to teach us some time. He belongs to the +Seventh Regiment. We love to be soldiers, though, and we know a boy, +Freddy Jourdain his name is, who got up a whole regiment, and has +parades, and went into camp, and everything." + +"We have a camp at White Plains," I told them. "Do you ever go there in +summer, Miss----" here I stopped, rather awkwardly, not knowing what her +name was. + +"Oh, I'm not 'Miss' anybody;" she said; "I'm Nelly; but we go to the +seashore in summer 'most always." + +"Can't you dress up in your uniform, and show us how you look at +school?" said Jimmy. + +"Yes, if you like;" here I remembered that the key of my room was in +Aunt Elsie's pocket, and had to say, "but I can't get into my room now; +I was locked in, and Aunt Elsie has the key." + +"How do you come to be here, then?" said Nelly; "why, dear me, just look +at the counterpane hanging out of the window; how funny!" + +"Why, that's the way I got out!" I said; and so I told them all about +"The Castle Spectre," and "Lord Alonzo Algernon" Spooneyman, and we got +into such a perfect _gig_ of laughter, that we nearly rode off in it! +(Now, don't say that's not a good joke, or I'll not tell another word of +my story.) + +Just then out came Poddles, looking as surprised as ever; and Nelly +exclaimed, "Oh, there's that funny old dog! what do you call him?" + +"His name is Poddles!" said I; "_I_ christened him." + +"What a queer name!" said Jimmy; "let's take him into our house and see +what Gipsey and he will do!" + +"Good!" said I. So, without remembering that plaguey white spread, I cut +over the piazza railings with Poddles under one arm, and we all three +rushed up stairs together. + +They had such a famous play room, with a splendid swing, and a +teetertorter, and ten-pins, and I don't know what beside; and there was +the nattiest little dog! but you know him, that "toy-terrier" of theirs. +Poddles looked a greater fright than ever beside him; so, to pay him +off, we put that wretched Pod into a basket, tied it fast to the swing, +and swung him up to the ceiling. It frightened him half to death, and +serve him right, for being so ugly! after which he and Gipsey went to +sleep in a big rocking chair, as friendly as possible. Then I gave Nelly +a splendid swing, "ran under," and cracked my cocoanut three times, +beside making my arms ache like everything; but I didn't care, she was +such a dear little thing. + +Afterward Jimmy went and got a great plateful of rosy apples; and just +as we were eating them, and having such fun, up came one of our girls, +and said that "Miss Brandlaw wanted Master Tom right home!" Wasn't it +hateful? But, of course, I had to go; so I bundled Poddles under my arm +again, bid them good-by, and walked off with Mary; but I poked her ribs +and set Poddles at her all the way, which was some comfort. + +I expected a scolding when I came home, and I didn't have one--oh no! +Aunt Elsie wanted to know where I thought I should die when I went +to--(no, I believe it was the other way, but never mind)--if I hung +best bed spreads out of the window, and left my room without permission? +besides informing me that she should write to ma', and have me sent for. +Finally, she marched me up stairs again; and when I said I _must_ have +something to do to keep me out of mischief, she gave me a Sunday school +book to read, and took herself off. + +Of course you will say I was dreadfully wicked not to like the Sunday +school book, but I couldn't. It was so full of hard names and long +words, and was all about sanctification and justification and +regeneration, and how was I to understand a word of it? I love Bible +stories, but I don't think there is a boy or girl who _understands hard +doctrines_. Do you, Neighbor Oldbird? + +I pretty soon gave up that employment, and amused myself instead with +pelting the cats on the fence with a few marbles, and trying on my +uniform, to see how I looked in it; until Aunt Elsie relented, I +suppose, for she came up and asked me through the keyhole if I was +sorry, and wouldn't do any more. You can fancy what my answer was, and +after dinner I got permission to go out and play on the sidewalk. + +Neighbor Nelly and Jimmy joined me there pretty soon, and we had such +fun playing "tag" and driving hoop. It wasn't hoop _time_, to be sure, +but that was no matter. Then, when we were tired of that, we all sat +down together on the upper step of No. 9, and began talking about their +school and mine, and what we learned. + +"Do you ever learn pieces of poetry?" asked Nelly. "My teacher, Miss +Backboard, always gives the girls each a piece of poetry every Friday; +so we call that poetry day." + +"I used to learn pieces too," I said; "but I don't care much for poetry +unless it's funny." + +"Tell us a funny piece," said Jimmy. + +"Ah yes, do!" added Nelly; and, of course, when a _lady_ asked me I had +to, though I felt pretty bashful; so I began. + + +A DAY OF MISHAPS. + +(AS TOLD BY BOBBY BREAKWINDOW, A SCHOOLBOY.) + +[Illustration] + +[Illustration: BOBBY AND ROVER.] + +[Illustration] + + Oh dear! was there ever anybody so unlucky as I am, + From General ----, who lost that battle t'other day, + all the way back to Priam! + Come, sit down--do, and let me tell you all about it, + and what's the matter; + Perhaps it will do me good to have a nice, comfortable, + miserable chatter. + To begin, then. This morning I woke, and thought I was + up with the sun. + So never hurried myself; but dressed slow, and came down, + to find breakfast all done, + And nothing left for me but one cold slapjack, and all + the chicken gone, + Unless, to be sure, I could have eaten the drumsticks, + and one perfectly clean breast bone! + And, of course, I had to make haste, for it was nine + o'clock and after, + And the master had offered a prize to the earliest boy--and + here was I beaten by even lazy Tommy Shafter! + But it was no use to fret, so I snatched up my satchel, and + would have been off in a minute, + When lo and behold! my geography was gone; and though we hunted + the house, it was plain it wasn't in it, + Till at last I remembered that yesterday I had gone after school + to the dog pound, + And then been fishing with Fred Lee; so, probably, it was at the + bottom of the frog pond! + Well, off to school I went, and came in after every schoolmate; + So, to pay me off, the schoolmaster and all the boys called me + Bobby Toolate! + But that wasn't all; for the class was just up for spelling, + And I didn't know the lesson, and Tommy Shafter prompted me to + spell boots _butes_; and that's all I got for telling, + Besides going to the foot of the class, and having to get the + lesson over; + I tell you what! a hand-organ monkey's life, compared to a + schoolboy's, is perfect rolling in clover! + And I wish I was a monkey, if I did get beaten--yes, that I do-- + In a red coat all over spangles, and blue trowsers, and a long + tail behind to come through! + Well, thank goodness, it's over; but that's not the half of my + pother; + For the very minute I got out of school, Tommy Shafter began + to plague and bother, + And wanted me to ride on the gate with him that goes in to his + grandfather Chowser's; + So I did; but there's spikes on the top of that gate; and, + confound it, I went to work and tore my trowsers! + Just then along came Miss Kitty Snow, and didn't I look dashing, + And that hateful Tommy Shafter bawled out "How are you, trowsers?" + and jumped down and walked off with her; but just see if I + don't give him a thrashing! + To pay him off for what he did and more too; for, when I came home + weeping and wailing, + Pa boxed my ears, and said I was such a bad boy I shouldn't go + with him now out sailing; + So I had the pleasure of seeing the rockaway drive up to the door, + And pa and ma getting in, and sister Tilly, and brother Sam, and + ever so many more, + All looking so happy and gay, and not caring a bit for poor Bobby, + Just as if I _wanted_ to get into scrapes, and mischief and + bad conduct were quite my hobby! + Then off they whirled; and as I was left alone, I thought I might + as well be up and doing. + Oh, good gracious, why didn't I sit still? but how could I tell + what was brewing? + So I went to the stable to see our big dog Rover, and thought + I would take him out with me; + When, just as I had slipped his chain, he broke loose, and ran, + I don't know where! and, I'm sure, pa will never forgive me! + For he thought so much of Rover. Oh, dear me, what shall I do? + If it would be any use in the world, I really think I should begin + to boohoo! + The stable boy told me not to take him; but I should like to see + myself minding him _rather_; + And of course, out of revenge, he'll just go and make the worst + of it to father. + Well, one would think that was enough; but when I came back to + the house, oh jolly! + There was our big cat just making a spring at sister Tilda's + pretty polly! + And in my haste to save the bird I threw the poker at the cat + and killed her! + And got myself in for a scolding from ma, and no great thanks + from Tilda. + It's six o'clock now; so, I suppose, they'll soon be home as + cross as any Tartar, + To give it to me for being such a bad boy, though I'm sure + I'm a regular martyr; + Don't you think so now, after all that I've just been telling? + No breakfast, no geography, late at school, tore my trowsers, + kept at home, lost the dog, killed the cat, and didn't know + my spelling! + I think the best thing I can do is to go to bed, put my head + under the clothes, + And in a good, comfortable sleep try to forget all my sorrows + and my woes; + But you may be sure, after this, I shall not neglect to take + warning, + And begin to-morrow all right, without any sort of fail, by + getting up early in the morning! + +"There!" said I, when I had finished, and it quite wore my tongue thin +to repeat such a long piece of poetry. "What do you think of _that_ for +a story?" + +"I think it is real funny," said Nelly, laughing; "I wish I knew +something to tell." + +"I can say a funny piece!" shouted Jimmy. + +"Well, say it, then," we two--Nelly and I--put in. + +Up he jumped right off, struck a funny attitude, and began: + + "The boy stood on the burning deck, + Peeling potatoes by the peck! + The flames rolled on and scorched his shins, + As he stood peeling potato skins! + 'Oh pa'!' he cried, 'the flames is hot, + Come, put the potatoes in the pot!' + But his father, alas! ne'er came to sup, + So the flames rolled on and frizzled him up!" + +"Did you ever hear anything so ridiculous as that?" cried Nelly. "Poor +Casabianca! I used to cry over him dreadfully; but I shall never think +of him now without laughing. Where did you learn that, Jimmy?" + +"Oh, Harry Agnew told it to me; he said he repeated it one day in +school, when the master asked him if he could say a piece of poetry, and +everybody burst out laughing. The master laughed too; so he couldn't put +anybody down for a bad mark, though Harry was afraid he would." + +"That was almost equal to the trick we played at school," said I. "We +wanted the doctor to give us a holiday, but he didn't seem to see it; so +when we were called up for our reading after recess, we were told to +read Montgomery's poem called 'Questions to Birds and their Answers.' +One of the verses is about the swallow, and reads thus: + + "'Swallow, why homeward turned thy joyful wing?' + 'In a far land I heard the voice of spring; + I found myself that moment on the way, + My wings, my wings, they had not power to stay.' + +--but we changed it as though the doctor was asking us a question and we +were answering--this way: + + "'Boys! why are you forever on the wing, + Wanting a holiday for everything?' + 'From you we are so glad to get away, + Our legs, our legs, they will not let us stay.'" + +How we all laughed over this; it was real true, too; and pretty soon +after, as it was getting dark, I bid them good-by and ran home. + +Next morning, what should Aunt Elsie and Aunt Ruth (Aunt Priscilla was +away on a visit) take into their heads, but that they hadn't had any fun +house-cleaning--(I suppose they must think it's fun, or they wouldn't do +it so often)--for ever so long; so nothing would suit them but to set +the whole house in an uproar as quick as possible. Of course, I was in +the way, whether I stayed in the garret or the kitchen; knocked down +three pails and a scrubbing brush every time I went down stairs, nearly +drowned Poddles in hot soapsuds, splashed myself all over with whitewash +trying to "do" the kitchen ceiling (on my own account, when nobody was +by), until I looked as if I had been out in a snowstorm, and watering +the windows outside with the long hosepipe, until every one of them was +dripping _inside_ like a waterfall. + +Now, Neighbor Nelly and Jimmy had been looking out of their parlor +window, and advising me which were the best parts of our windows to play +on, when, all of a sudden, Nelly said: + +"Why, Tom, it doesn't half clean the panes to do them that way; they +ought to be washed with soap and hot water. Suppose we try it? Only +think!" she went on, "how much your aunties would be obliged to us if we +were to find out a new way to make windows clean, ever so much better +than the old one!" + +"Splendid!" said I and Jimmy together. "Come, let's try it right away!" + +With that, Nelly and Jimmy came into our house, and into the front +basement; Aunt Elsie and Aunt Ruth were both up stairs; so we had the +two lower stories all to ourselves. + +As Nelly was afraid of spoiling her frock, I dived into the cook's +dresser drawer, where she keeps her own table covers and clean dish +cloths, and fished out a great big brown roller-towel, which we pinned +round her neck, making her look in front as if she was tied up in a +potato sack, with only her head left out. Then Jimmy and I took off our +nice jackets, rolled up our shirt sleeves, lugged in three big yellow +dishes full of hot water, spilling plenty on the way, found a long bar +of brown soap, and helped ourselves to three more of Bridget's clean +towels; and then we all three began scrubbing away at the windows! + +Such fun as we had! We put on the greatest lot of soap, and paid away +with both hands, so as to make them good and _clean_, laughing and +talking all the time; and when we thought the water had been used +enough, or, rather when it was nearly all spilt, we took up our yellow +bowls and marched into the kitchen for more. + +Our boiler, you must know, is a tin affair, like a large soup kettle +without the handle, and has a faucet in front to draw the water off. We +put it on the middle of the range, and keep it always full and boiling; +and now, instead of filling our dishes right away, we began playing the +kitchen was a steamboat, and the water heater the boiler, just ready to +burst; so, of course, it was necessary to let off steam, which we did by +drawing a little water at a time from the faucet into one of our yellow +dishes, and tilting it back again as soon as the dish was full, beside +"tooting," as loud as we could, to represent the commotion going on to +perfection. We were soon so busy over this, that we forgot all about +the front basement windows for ever so long, until we heard Aunt Elsie +calling out, "Tom! Tom! where are you?" + +"Here I am, Aunt Elsie! come right along! Here we all are, washing the +windows for you as nice as anything!" + +Down marched Aunt Elsie, short order; and the minute she came into the +basement we heard her give an "O----h!" about a quarter of a mile long. +We all rushed to ask what was the matter; and such a pickle as the +windows were in you never did see. The soap was in streaks, and smears, +and lumps all over the panes, making them look as if somebody had spilt +a lot of hasty pudding on them, and it had stuck fast. Of course, as we +left them so long, the soap had hardened on; and poor Nelly, frightened +half out of her wits, began to cry. That put me up, I can tell you; I +was determined Aunt Elsie shouldn't scold her; so I begged her not to be +angry with anybody but me, for it wasn't their fault at all. + +"And I must say you are old enough to know better, Tom," said my aunt, +looking at me reproachfully over the tops of her spectacles; "and as a +punishment, you must get all the soap off the window before you have any +dinner. The children had better go home." + +But now, what do you think that darling of a Nelly, and Jimmy did? They +declared I shouldn't do it all alone by myself, but they would stay and +help me; so, after Aunt Elsie had been coaxed to let us, we filled our +dishes again, and went to work as busy as bees. It was pretty hard work +getting the soap off, but we made a joke of it, and by the time the +windows were fairly polished up, as bright as new pins, we were in a +perfect frolic. I expect Nelly's bright eyes had something to do with +it, for Aunt Elsie, after we had finished, and come shouting to her with +our faces as red as fire, and considerable brown soap on us in spots, +said, "we were famous workpeople," and gave us New Year's cookies, and +almonds, and raisins for lunch. I had a Philopoena among my nuts, +which I ate with Nelly; and pretty soon after they went home. + +I did hope she would catch me on the Philopoena, because I had +something that I meant to give her all along; and this would be a famous +chance. It was a nest of little boxes, made of plaid papier-maché, about +a dozen, one inside the other; and when you came to the very last, and +had opened that, there was a gold thimble and scissors, and a little +gold bodkin, a needlecase full of tiny needles, and a puncher, just big +enough for the queen of the fairies; I won it at a raffle on Christmas +Eve, and kept it to give to some little girl, for, of course, it wasn't +any use to me; what could I do with a thimble and needles? Sure enough, +when I looked out of the back parlor window next morning, Neighbor Nelly +looked out of _her_ window, said with a saucy smile, "Good morning, Mr. +Tom--Philopoena!" and popped back again. + +"Good!" I said. So, after breakfast, I asked Aunt Elsie for a nice sheet +of paper and a new pen, and then I ran up to my own room, and sat down +to write a little note to my neighbor. I'm sure, that showed how much I +liked her, if anything could, for I'd rather do a sum in compound +fractions, or a French exercise, than write a note. It quite gives me +the toothache; but at last I wrote something very pretty, as, I'm sure, +you will say when I repeat it to you. This is what I said: + + "MY DEAR MISS NELLY: + + "I hope you will accept the little present I send + you for a Philopoena, because I like you very + much. I am real glad you caught me, for perhaps + this will remind you of me when I go back to + school. I hope the needles will sew all the holes + in your clothes, that the thimble will keep you + from pricking your pretty little finger, and that + + "If you loves I as I loves you, + The scissors won't cut our love in two. + + "Good-by. + "From your affectionate friend + "TOM." + +Then I packed up the boxes and the letter in nice white paper, and +coaxed Mary to take it in right away; and you can't tell how many +pretty, smiling thanks I had in return. + +But you think I am making my story too long, Neighbor Oldbird? Well, +perhaps I am, but there seems to be so much to tell about Nelly, and the +nice times we had together, that I don't know when to stop. I am 'most +through now. + +The day I sent her the Philopoena present was the last of my stay in +town; and after I had packed up my clothes ready to start (with a +gorgeous plum cake and two jars of raspberry jam in a box, which my dear +old Friskies gave me,--they always do make everything of me, in spite of +their lectures), I went to Uncle Herbert's room to bid him good-by, for +I knew I should not see him again before I started, and he made me the +best present of all. It was a dear little watch and chain; for he said, +as I was nearly fifteen, I was quite old enough to take care of one. +Wasn't that kind of him? + +Well, dear me, I don't want to say good-by a bit, and I did not then; +but, of course, it had to come, and I shook hands with my dear little +friends, only wishing to goodness that I lived in New York. + +We promised about twenty-five times apiece always to be friends; and +then I kissed Aunt Elsie and Aunt Ruth, pulled Poddles' ears for +good-by, and pranced off all alone; of course, boys that have watches +are plenty big enough to go from New York to White Plains by +themselves. I suppose we always shall stay there, for papa is abominably +fond of the country; but just wait until I am a man, and see if I don't +come to live in New York, and marry Neighbor Nelly, if she will have me. +Mind you keep that last remark a secret, now, Neighbor Oldbird! That's +all there is about it. + + + + +THE FAT GENTLEMAN'S STORY. + + + I'M in love with Neighbor Nelly, + Though I know she's only ten; + While I am five and forty, + And the _married-est_ of men. + I've a wife as fat as butter, + And a baby--such a boy! + With the plumpest cheeks and shoulders, + Who's his father's dearest joy. + + Though a Square toes and a Buffer, + Still I've sunshine in my heart; + Still I'm fond of tops and marbles + Can appreciate a tart. + I can love my Neighbor Nelly, + Just as though I were a boy, + And would hand her cakes and apples, + From my depths of corduroy. + + She is tall, and growing taller; + She is vigorous of limb; + (You should see her playing soldiers + With her little brother Jim!) + She has eyes as blue as damsons; + She has pounds of auburn curls; + She regrets the game of leapfrog + Is prohibited to girls. + + I adore my Neighbor Nelly, + I invite her in to tea, + And I let her nurse the baby + Her delightful ways to see. + Such a darling bud of woman! + Yet remote from any teens; + I have learnt from Neighbor Nelly + What the girls' doll instinct means. + + Oh! to see her with the baby! + (He adores her more than I); + How she choruses his crowing, + How she hushes every cry! + How she loves to pit his dimples + With her light forefinger deep; + How she boasts, as one in triumph, + When she gets him off to sleep! + + We must part, my Neighbor Nelly, + For the summers quickly flee; + And the middle-aged admirer + Must, too soon, supplanted be. + Yet, as jealous as a mother, + A suspicious, cankered churl, + I look vainly for the setting, + To be worthy such a pearl! + + NOTE.--This charming little gem is not original, + being gleaned from the pages of Putnam's Magazine. + As it was there published anonymously, the author + is unable to make any further acknowledgment. + + + + +POSTSCRIPT TO THE THREE STORIES. + +BY THE OLD BACHELOR. + + +WHEN I had finished copying out the stories of the Big Boy and the Fat +Gentleman last summer, the thought struck me that, as I had been in town +all the warm bright June weather, it would do my health a great deal of +good to take a trip to Long Branch. Of course, it was not to see +Neighbor Nelly--certainly not. + +So, the very next Saturday afternoon I dusted up my valise, and put some +nice cool summer clothes in it, and a great paper of candy, which I +meant for my little neighbors, in case I should see them by accident! +Somebody had told me that the Mansion House was the best hotel to stop +at. Shall I tell you why? Because there was a party there, of a papa and +mamma, a dear little girl and boy, and a remarkably nice little toy +terrier, which would put me in mind very much of some friends of mine +called Lawson. In fact, this family was called Lawson, too, and the +younger members were christened Nelly and Jimmy! Comical, wasn't it? + +If you have never been to Long Branch, you can't think what a pleasant +sail it is down the Bay in the "Thomas Collyer," and how much I enjoyed +my trip. The pleasant shores of Long and Staten Islands (_I_ used to +live on Staten Island, and had some comical times there, which I mean to +write out one of these days) looked as verdant and beautiful as ever; +the sea was as blue as a bluebottle fly, and the sun as light as a cork! +As I looked at the great, rolling waves, I laughed to myself, thinking +what nice times we were going to have in bathing; ducking under them, +when they came roaring along the shore after us, as if they meant to +gobble us up, and bouncing out again when they had passed, all dripping +and laughing, and ready for the next one to play the same trick on us. +Sometimes, to be sure, the waves play too rough, and knock you off your +feet without "by your leave;" or a little crab will walk up and bite +your toes, just by way of welcoming you to Long Branch; but nobody minds +it. Bless you!--that only makes it more fun to go in bathing! + +Well, the boat stopped at the pier, which extends a quarter of a mile +from the shore, putting one in mind of a long crab's claw stuck out for +"shake hands" by old Neptune; and I jumped into the cars and was bounced +and rattled along to Long Branch. As it was Saturday afternoon, a great +crowd of people were going there with me, and, deary me! when _I_ came +to the Mansion House, there wasn't any room left for me! Wasn't it too +bad? Just when I had fixed to have such a nice time with my dear little +friends! It would never do to go away, however, so I said: "Well, never +mind, Mr. Mansion House--that is, Mr. Neighbor Nelly--dear me!--Mr. +Laird, I can do without a room; and at night you can put me to sleep in +the pigeon house, or the hen coop, or under the counter of the office, +or up the chimney, I don't care which; but go away I can't!" + +Now, I expect, Mr. Laird must have known I had come to see Neighbor +Nelly, and what a disappointment it would be not to get in; for after a +consultation with his bookkeeper, he told me he could give me a room +after all! and I was so glad, that I offered him my snuff box +immediately, which is a favor I only grant to very nice people! + +So up stairs I hurried, to get ready for tea, in high good humor, and, +would you believe it, when I came down again, whose table should I be +put to sit at, but Neighbor Nelly's? Oh, how surprised and pleased she +was to see me! and Jimmy and his father and mother were just as glad. +There was famous "clam chowder" for tea, and such great big +blackberries, that we really had to make two bites of them! not to +mention the quantities of other good things; and after tea we strolled +out on the bluff, which overlooks the ocean. There are three pretty +little summer houses before the Mansion House, and in one of these we +took our seats. Gipsey had come scampering up to me in delighted +recognition as we left the dining room, barking and wagging his tail, +until I should think both his tail and his bark would have been quite +out of joint. + +"Oh, Neighbor Oldbird, I'm so glad you have come," began Nelly, eagerly; +"we have been having such fun, and, now you are here, it will be nicer +than ever." + +"Do you and Jimmy go in bathing?" I asked. + +"I guess we do!" cried Jimmy. "We rush into the water first of anybody, +and go out real deep, when we have hold of the ropes. Some great big +boys are as afraid as anything! But we like to have the waves go over +our heads." + +"Talking about big boys," said I, looking wonderfully sly, "I made the +acquaintance of a big boy in our street, not long ago, who knows a +certain little lady very well; and likes her very well, too!" + +"Oh, I know!" chimed both the children; "it's Tom Halstead. Isn't it?" + +"Yes; he told me something funny about you, too; I did not know you +could wash windows before, Neighbor Nelly." + +My little neighbor laughed and blushed comically when I said that, and +then Jimmy said: + +"He's a first rate fellow, I tell you. He sent us a letter the other +day, and what do you think? he's coming here!" + +"Coming here!" I exclaimed; "my stars! I shall be quite thrown in the +shade when such a nice friend makes his appearance. I think I shall have +to go home again Monday, and I did mean to stay till Wednesday," and I +made up a dismal face, and pretended to be quite heart-broken. + +"No, indeed, Neighbor Oldbird! we shall always like you the best!" cried +Nelly, catching both my hands in hers. "He is a very nice boy, to be +sure, but we like _you_ just as much as if you were our bachelor uncle." + +"Then I move to be called Uncle Josiah directly!" I said, laughing; +"so, my dear niece and nephew, don't you think it would be a good plan +for us to go down on that nice yellow sand there, and look at the +waves?" + +The children were delighted with this plan, so we all three walked to +the steep wooden steps that lead from the bluff to the beach below, and +were soon on the sands. Gipsey came racing after as usual, and in his +haste to join us, ran so fast down the steps, that he couldn't stop +himself, but had to bring up on the sand past the water mark, looking +comically astonished. To put a finishing touch to his misfortunes, a +great big wave came tumbling in just then, and over poor Gipsey it went! +sousing him head and ears! It frightened him so much that he rushed +dripping wet to Neighbor Nelly, and jumped into her lap, squealing +dismally. Such a perfect shower-bath of cold salt water as rained all +over her pretty muslin dress, and trim little gaiters and stockings! We +had to shake her well, and put Gipsey to bed on a sandhill near us, +where he went to sleep, and, I hope, forgot his miseries. + +Perhaps you don't know it, but the sand is a famous place to write your +name. You go as near the retreating wave as you dare, and then, with a +walking stick or an umbrella, or your finger, if nothing better is to be +had, write your name, or draw a hideous spook on the wet sand. You have +to be quick about it, too; for just as you are putting the finishing +touches to the work, another great billow is sure to come tearing at +you, with a wide, deep hollow of emerald green, and foaming crest, +looking like molten silver in the moonlight. Crash! it falls on the +beach; and a long rush of foam slides up the sand as you scamper out of +reach, not always without a wet shoe or two. Now the water has all run +back, but where is the writing? The sand is smooth once more, and ready, +like a great blackboard, to be marked on anew. So the sea is always +clearing your writing book for you, and giving you a chance to begin +again and see how long it will last! + +I should think we wrote "Nelly," "Jimmy," and "Neighbor Oldbird," about +fifty times each on the sand, with my walking stick; and then we "hung +Jeff. Davis on a sour apple tree," and depicted him with Old Spookey +coming after him, and told the Atlantic Ocean, "We like blue fish," and +"We're going in bathing Monday," and never succeeded in keeping one of +our achievements more than half a minute. + +We stayed down on the delightful beach until nearly half-past nine; and, +dear me, what a heap of sand we got in our shoes! It was quite wonderful +how it contrived to work its way in; but there it was, making us lift up +our feet as heavily as though we had cannon balls tied to our ankles. + +But it was getting late, and high time for small people to be off to +bed; so, with a shake of the hand from one of my little neighbors, and a +"good kiss" from the other, I don't say _which_, Gipsey was waked up, +and they all trotted off together. + +Next morning was Sunday, and a beautiful sunshiny day. The first thing I +did when I woke up, was to pop my head out of the window and take a look +at the ocean. There it was, as beautiful as ever, and now I found out a +funny thing about Long Branch that I hadn't noticed the evening before. +"Why," said I, "is it possible I am in the country? Where are the +trees?" They were nowhere to be seen, not so much as a bush; while the +flowers were represented by everybody's bathing dresses hanging over +all the fences, and on ever so many clothes-lines besides, to dry. The +fact is, that the Atlantic Ocean is determined to let nothing be admired +but itself; so it will not permit a tree to grow any nearer its shores +than half a mile. So all the foliage there consists of the direful old +bathing dresses, flapping in the wind and looking like so many +scarecrows put up to frighten off the fishhawks. + +In the morning we went to the cunning little Episcopal church, and +listened to the earnest teachings of the noble young rector, who is +working so bravely in his Master's cause with such poor earthly reward. +That he is laying up treasure where "neither moth nor rust doth +corrupt," we cannot but believe. We did not like to leave the quiet +little church for the great noisy hotels, in one of which, as we passed +it, they were _playing billiards_. Oh! what an occupation for God's holy +day! I cannot believe they were Christians who were playing, but I know +I wanted to go and beg them to stop. + +In the afternoon it clouded up, and began to rain very hard; so we could +not go to church, and as it was very little like Sunday in the crowded +hall and parlor, Mrs. Lawson proposed we should all come and sit in her +room, which opened on one of the upper piazzas. So we established +ourselves here, where it was quiet and cool, very glad to escape from +the bustle down stairs. + +"Suppose you were to repeat that pretty German hymn I gave you the other +day," said her mother to Nelly. "Perhaps Mr. Oldbird would like to hear +it." + +"Yes, that I should," I said; so Nelly began the beautiful verses +called-- + + +"ALL THERE." + + "Nothing is lost; the treasures which the ocean + Hath taken to itself in ages fled, + The lives that rest beneath its ceaseless motion + Until 'the sea shall render up its dead:' + + "The dew drops that the warm bright sunshine drieth, + The cloud that melts away in summer air, + The bud that lifteth its sweet head--and dieth, + They are not lost--God keeps them in his care. + + "Nothing is lost; the anguish of the mourner, + And bitter tears that fall like solemn rain, + Are safely stored within the heavenly garner, + Till Christ shall come unto his own again. + + "And our beloved ones that Death doth gather + To their calm, dreamless sleep beneath the tomb, + Like tender flowers, are cherished by the Father + In the celestial fields of Heaven to bloom. + + "Nothing is lost; oh, let the promise cheer us; + By God himself to weary mortals given; + Our darling ones shall soon again be near us, + Our hopes shall bloom, unfadingly, in Heaven." + +"I think that is the best hymn I know," added Nelly, when she had +finished. "Now, what shall we do?" + +"Let's play church!" suggested Jimmy. + +"Oh yes! that's the very thing!" said Nelly. "Suppose we ask Kitty and +Robby Morris to come in." + +So Kitty and Robby were found, and consented to join the play, which +straightway began; mamma and I looking on, though we made believe not to +be taking notice, for fear of disturbing the little visitors. + +Robby, who was a dear little fellow, only five years old, with long +golden curls and great blue eyes, was the minister, at his own special +request. The children dressed him in a long white sack of Mrs. Lawson's +by way of a gown, and gave him a small table for a pulpit. The others, +with Gipsey, and a large gray cat, the property of Robby and Kitty, +which marched in after them, were the congregation, sitting on the edge +of the bed, to be like the long church pew. The minister took for his +text, "Little children, love one another," and his sermon was such a +dear, funny little discourse, that I must write it down for you. + +"Now, my dear peoples," he said, "I hope, whenever you feel like +karrelling,[A] or being as cross as bears, you will 'member what the +Bible says 'bout loving one another. Gipsey fighted my tat to-day, and +pulled some of her fur out; but he's only a dog, and I readed in my Dr. +Watts-- + + "Let dogs delight to bark and bite, + For God has made 'em so; + Let bears and lions growl and fight, + For 'tis their nature too. + But, children, _you_ s'ould _never_ let + Your angry _pass'ons_ rise! + Your little hands were _never_ made + To sc'atch each other's eyes." + +----so I was not mad at him, 'cause he didn't _know_ he ought to love +pussy. + +"I _s'apped_ nurse the other day, 'cause she made me come out of the +water before I wanted to, and _that_ was _very_ naughty; I begged her +pardon, though, and gave her a piece of my _tandy_, that papa had +brought me. Now, my dear peoples, I think that is long enough. S'pose we +sing, 'I want to be an angel.'" + +[Illustration: PLAYING CHURCH.] + +Wasn't that a cunning little sermon? It put me in mind of how I used to +play church in my childhood, long ago; when my young brother, dear +little Davy, would stand on a chair, while I sat on my stool at his +feet, and preach a sermon something like Robby's. Darling Davy! I +fancied I could see his sweet face and earnest eyes looking down at me, +from his happy home in heaven that Sunday afternoon; for he closed those +dark eyes on this weary earth many long years since, and I never think +of him now but as standing on the chair in our father's study (with, +perhaps, mother looking in, unknown to him), and preaching from some +simple text that we knew and loved, in quaint, yet childish words. Ah, +well! perhaps it was better so, than that he should have lived to be a +gray-headed old bachelor like "brother Jose!" + +So the children all sang the hymn, and that was the end of church. We +passed the rest of the afternoon telling Bible stories, and repeating +hymns, and after tea it was clear once more, and dry enough to go out on +the bluff. + +You may be sure, we were all in famous spirits Monday morning, and ready +for any sort of a frolic. Who could help being good humored with such +company as my little neighbors? Mr. Lawson left us in the first train +for the city; but, to make up, who should have come down in the early +morning boat, but Tom Halstead and Miss Elsie Bluejay--or Brandlaw, I +ought to say, since I know her name now; and they drove straight up to +the Mansion House, of course--who wouldn't, when Neighbor Nelly was +there? The children received Tom with shouts of joy; and he looked so +handsome and happy, and his great black eyes sparkled so with good humor +and fun, that I felt quite ready to admit him into my circle of little +people that I knew and loved. Neighbor Nelly and he were an admirable +contrast in point of appearance, and I shouldn't be surprised if the +last remark made to me in strict confidence, by my friend Tom in his +account of her, should come true some day. + +I wish I could sketch a little picture of our party as we clustered +together on the piazza, to show what manner of people we were then; and +another, of our appearance in the water afterward. Ten o'clock was the +hour for bathing that morning; so we each armed ourselves with our +bathing clothes and a prodigious towel, like the main sail of a fishing +smack, and rushed down to the beach; that is, the younger members; Aunt +Elsie, Mrs. Lawson, and I walked soberly along. Then we popped into +separate bathing houses, still looking like respectable and responsible +members of society, and popped out five minutes afterward--scarecrows! +spooks! animated rag-bags! with the last vestige of our gentility and +good looks departed. + +Aunt Elsie had taken leave of a most beautiful brown "front" and +fourteen luxuriant curls, the absence of which gave her an appearance +very like a staid bald-headed owl; particularly as she would keep on her +very round spectacles, and wore a pair of extremely long-fingered green +cotton gloves. The long ends of the glove fingers, waving about in the +water, were not unlike the owl's claws; while her gray woollen bathing +dress might have passed for a new sort of flannel feathers. A mortified +blue sunbonnet, with all the canes out, was perched lop-sided on her +head, and she wore a pair of bathing shoes, like brown poultices. The +rest of us were just as bad, though; I was an ogre in green flannel, Tom +and Jimmy monkeys in red, Mrs. Lawson tolerably lady-like in blue, with +white tape trimmings, and Neighbor Nelly a ridiculous little old jumping +Jenny in white, with gorgeous red facings; and all in hats that defied +our best friends to know us in. + +How we laughed at each other, and then made haste over the sand, which +was so hot that it nearly scorched our feet, and plumped into the nice +cool ocean, where ever so many other frights were already hopping about. + +Now for a rush into the deep water! here comes a big wave! down, down +now! and over our heads it went! dousing us as it had Gipsey the +Saturday night, only we didn't squeal. + +Presently, some people who had come from the next hotel, began dancing +the "Lancers" in the water, ducking under instead of bowing, and +seeming to have such a good time, that nothing would suit the children +but that they must begin dancing, too; in consequence of which a wave +twice as high as usual came roaring up, and carried Neighbor Nelly right +off her feet. Under the water she went, and for an instant we were quite +frightened; but presently up she popped laughing, and trying to squeeze +the salt water out of her eyes. + +However, that put a stop to the dancing; and here let me tell you, that +surf bathing is always a pretty venturesome thing to attempt, unless you +grasp the ropes firmly, or have hold of some older and stronger person's +hand. + +There was one gentleman flourishing about near us, who seemed bent upon +trying how many odd things he could do in the water. Presently we saw +him going down head first, and then his feet coming up in the air like a +duck's! It looked so comical to see any one besides a duck standing +upside down in the water, that we all burst out laughing, and just then +along came another billow, and treated us each to a mouthful of salt +water! + +By this time we had been in long enough for one day, for you should +always remember to come out before you feel chilled, and so we waded to +the shore, looking more outlandish than ever, now the bathing dresses +were all soaked, and hurried into the houses to get dry and dressed. + +Surf bathing is a famous thing to give you an appetite; and I don't +wonder Mr. Laird provides so bountiful and well cooked a dinner, when I +think of the famishing five hundred people that were to be fed the day I +was there, and every day beside. The "Charge of the Light Brigade" was +nothing to the charge we made upon the dishes; and as the dining room is +sensibly arranged with tables accommodating about a dozen people each, +we all sat together; and had such a merry time that two or three cross +old dames looked sharply at our party, very curious to know what all the +laughing was about. Our small friend Gipsey was the cause of it, partly, +for he posted himself beside each of our chairs in turn, and made such +surprising and despairing hops and skips after bits of chicken held up +beyond his reach, that he very nearly turned a somerset each time. + +We rewarded his patience at last by giving him some bones, which he +crunched under the table with perfect satisfaction, while we were +discussing the ice cream and other good things. + +In the afternoon I was sitting reading the paper on the upper piazza, +and the children were amusing themselves in their own fashion near me. +Nelly, with another little girl, whose name seemed to be "Baby," for +they never called her anything else, were manufacturing a resplendent +doll's dress for a waxen angel in a white spencer--or whatever those +muslin concerns are called, which the ladies wear with colored skirts +nowadays, and a black velvet pointed belt; while the boys, with their +arms fraternally entwined, were interchanging confidences on the +important subjects of "My peg top," "Don't you think thirty-eight cents +is a tremendous price for kites?" "How many glass agates have you got?" +and so on--when Tom, looking very mischievous, suddenly lifted up dolly +by the toe of her shoe, and asked, "Why, Nelly, what's the matter with +this doll; has she got the spinal complaint?" + +"No, you goose," said Nelly, laughing. "What makes you ask that?" + +"Because she has on a supporter," said Tom, with perfect gravity, +pointing to the velvet belt. "Poor thing! why don't you take her in +bathing? It would do her health good, I'm sure; she looks fearfully +pale." + +"Ah, make him put her down, Nelly," said Baby; "he'll break her if he +goes on so;" for Tom was now amusing himself by balancing dolly on her +head in his hand, making a great display of embroidered trowsers and +hoop petticoats; and now, catching her by both hands, he suddenly swung +her over the railing. "This is the way she ought to be ducked under the +waves!" he added. Nelly sprang forward at the same moment with an "Oh, +Tom! please!" and caught his arm rather suddenly. His hold relaxed at +the same moment, and crash! down tumbled poor dolly on the ground below, +breaking one of her wax arms completely off, and making a fearful cavity +in her forehead, which killed her completely! that is, I should think +so. I never heard of any one who survived fracture of the skull. Did +you? + +Poor Nelly! She tried hard not to mind it; but dolly's head was one too +many for her, and the tears came rolling quickly down her cheeks as she +gazed at the unfortunate waxen damsel below, with quivering lip. Tom +turned red and white alternately in silence for a moment, and then began +pouring forth apologies and regrets. He called himself all the imps +that ever were heard of for being so careless; he offered to go to New +York that very day to buy another doll, and have his hair well pulled +beside, if she only would forgive him, and say she didn't think he had +done it on purpose; and, in short, we had quite a little scene; when, +fortunately, there occurred to me a pleasant means of diverting the +minds of the party from the accident that had happened. So I laid down +my paper, as though I had not been listening, and said: + +"Well, little people, I believe I have discovered all the news there is; +so what do you say to coming to a party I am thinking of giving in my +room?" + +"A party!" cried the children, dropping the subject of the doll to look +at me; "why, we should like that very much. What sort of a party is it?" + +"A reading party," I answered. "I have some papers I have been thinking +of reading to you, to get your opinion of them before I put them in a +book; and I shouldn't be surprised if there was a paper of candy in my +drawer besides." + +"Why, do you write books?" asked Baby, opening her bright eyes very wide +indeed, as if to be certain what a real live author looked like. + +"To be sure I do," I said, laughing. "Funny stories, and sad ones, too; +and some that are every word of them true, and others that are told me +by my friends; and you shall tell me whether they are true or not." + +So we all made haste into my room--not the same I had when I first came, +but one on the front piazza, near Neighbor Nelly's. The papers I meant +were my own, Tom's, and the Fat Gentleman's stories, which I had brought +down with me, to look over and correct. The candy I had bought for Nelly +and Jimmy, as I told you, and forgotten all about to that moment. Little +Robby came trotting along just then, so we asked him to be of the party; +and Mrs. Lawson, looking out to see why we were in such a bustle, made +up the company. + +I wish you could have been at Our Party that afternoon. We made a cosey +little group, I assure you. Mrs. Lawson sat by the table with her +sewing; Tom established himself close to my chair, and Nelly nestled by +my other side. Baby and Jimmy sat on hassocks, contrived from carpet +bags, at my feet; dear little Robby was lifted to my knee, and the +reading began. Oh, the laughter, and comical wonder, and blushes, when +my little neighbors found the stories were about them! Nelly burst out +with "Oh, Neighbor Oldbird!" and hid her face on my shoulder every time +there was some special praise of herself. Tom turned perfectly crimson +when we came to his story, and was in and out of his seat twenty times, +begging me to stop, during its progress, his splendid black eyes +glancing appealingly at me and Nelly by turns. I wouldn't spare him a +single word, however; and when I came to his declaration at the end, +concerning Nelly, there was a general shout of laughter. + +"There's an eligible offer for you, Miss Nell," I said solemnly. "You'd +better take it into consideration!" and so on, until Mrs. Lawson begged +me to stop. She did not like to have ideas about marriage put into the +children's heads; and I, when I reflected, was very sorry I had been so +thoughtless. Tom bore my teasing manfully; but Nelly's face was rather +grave, as if she did not like such remarks to be made about her; so I +hurried on to the Fat Gentleman's story, and brought up at the end, and +then handed round the candy, amid general approbation. + +How we all passed that evening together on the beach, and had a wildly +happy time; how we went in bathing the next day, and the next; and how, +on Wednesday afternoon, I bid a most reluctant good-by to my little +neighbors, I have not room to tell. I want to write how gladly we met +again in the city in the fall; how Tom did come to live in New York, and +favored us with his company as often as possible; how we chanced again +on the little girl whom we had met in the toy shop, and found her living +in a wretched tenement house in Cherry street, whence Mr. Lawson and I, +with some other friends, removed them in haste, and established them in +a nice little thread-needle store on one of the business avenues not far +from our street; but all this would take too long. + +I must say, though, what a blessed change it has been for them, +particularly for poor little crippled Clara, who never fails to greet us +with a smile when we go there to see her, as she sits in her comfortable +arm-chair by the window, with her pet spaniel "Dandy" beside her. She is +always contented and cheerful, in spite of the sharp pain that often +racks her slender limbs; and as I look on her pale face, which is so +plainly not long for this earth, and think that now her suffering life +will end amid comfort and peace, I whisper to myself with a heart full +of love, "All this through thy sweet influence, dear + + "NEIGHBOR NELLY!" + +FOOTNOTE: + +[A] Quarrelling. + + + + +CONCLUSION. + + +AND that was the end of the famous Sock Stories, which had afforded +George and Helen so much amusement during nearly three months; for it +took all that time for Aunt Fanny's daughter to write, and the children +to read them all. They could not tell which they liked the best; for it +so happened that the "Funny Little Socks" made their appearance just at +the time when some dear little cousins of theirs, only four or five +years old, had come to spend a week or two with them, which made baby +stories doubly welcome; and I don't know what the good and delightful +gentleman to whom the fifth book is dedicated will say about it, when he +sees his name at the front; but it was thought very appropriate by +Helen's papa; as the very best story in the book is all about +philosophers, grave and gay. + +One thing in particular I am most happy to record; and that is, that the +good habits which keeping mamma's little code of rules had engendered, +were not broken off at the close of the readings; but instead, were +formed more lastingly with every week; until now every one who knows +George and Helen says, the first thing, "What good children they are! +and yet, they never have to be whipped, or shut up in a dark closet to +make them so." No! they are good from a higher motive than the dread of +punishment; for they are inspired with the sincere desire to make their +dear mother as happy as they can; and it would not surprise me at all if +Santa Claus, who is a very discerning old gentleman, were to put +something very nice indeed in both socks and stockings this +Christmas--in spite of the hard times! + +And now, one last word, before Aunt Fanny's daughter bids you good-by, +little reader. She hopes and prays, in all sincerity, that she has +succeeded not only in amusing you, but in giving you some lessons which +will sink into your hearts for your real good. And if in the shadowy +train of personages who have moved before you in these Sock Stories, +there is one who has pleased you especially, from Colonel Freddy and +little tender-hearted Greta, to Little Mother and the Old Bachelor, +Neighbor Nelly, with her bright eyes and merry ways, or Gipsey, of the +cork-screw tail and yap! yap! bark, the knowledge of this fact will give +_her_ what she wishes for you all, a very + + MERRY CHRISTMAS! + + + THE END OF THE SIXTH AND LAST BOOK. + + * * * * * + +Transcriber's Notes: + +Page 026, "anx" changed to "any" (him any more) + +Page 32, "eat" changed to "ate" (We ate the) + +Page 086, "found" changed to "fond" (fond of tops and marbles) + +Page 126, "copmany" changed to "company" (made up the company) + + + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Neighbor Nelly Socks, by Sarah L. 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Barrow + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: Neighbor Nelly Socks + Being the Sixth and Last Book of the Series + +Author: Sarah L. Barrow + +Release Date: August 3, 2009 [EBook #29597] + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ISO-8859-1 + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK NEIGHBOR NELLY SOCKS *** + + + + +Produced by David Edwards, Emmy and the Online Distributed +Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net (This file was +produced from images generously made available by The +Internet Archive) + + + + + + +</pre> + + + + + + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 500px;"> +<img src="images/i001.jpg" width="500" height="428" alt="OUR PARTY." title="" /> +<span class="caption">OUR PARTY.</span> +</div> + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> + +<h3>THE SOCK STORIES,</h3> + +<h4>BY "AUNT FANNY'S" DAUGHTER.</h4> + +<h1>NEIGHBOR NELLY SOCKS:</h1> + + +<div class='center'><b>BEING</b></div> + +<h3>THE SIXTH AND LAST BOOK OF THE SERIES.</h3> + +<div class='center'><b>BY</b></div> + +<h2>"AUNT FANNY'S" DAUGHTER,</h2> + +<div class='center'>THE AUTHOR OF "THE LITTLE WHITE ANGEL."<br /> +<br /> +<br /> +<br /> +<br /> + +NEW YORK:<br /> +LEAVITT & ALLEN, 21 & 23 MERCER ST.<br /> +1863.<br /> +</div> + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> + +<div class='copyright'> +<span class="smcap">Entered</span>, according to Act of Congress, in the year 1862, by<br /> +S. L. BARROW,<br /> +In the Clerk's Office of the District Court of the United States for the<br /> +Southern District of New York.<br /> +<br /> +<br /> +JOHN T. TROW,<br /> +<span class="smcap">Printer, Stereotyper and Electrotyper</span>,<br /> +60 Greene Street, New York.<br /> +</div> + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> + + + + + + +<div class='center'> +<small>TO</small><br /> +<br /> +MY DEAR FATHER,<br /> +<br /> +<small>TO WHOSE KINDLY AND CHARMING WAYS WITH THE</small><br /> +<br /> +<big>"LITTLE FOLK"</big><br /> +<br /> +<small>I OWE THE CHARACTER OF "NEIGHBOR OLDBIRD,"</small><br /> +<br /> +<small>THIS BOOK</small><br /> +<br /> +<small>IS LOVINGLY DEDICATED.</small><br /> +</div> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h2>CONTEXTS OF VOL. VI.</h2> + + + +<div class='center'> +<table border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" summary="Contents"> +<tr><td align='left'> </td><td align='right'><small>PAGE</small></td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'>NEIGHBOR NELLY. <span class="smcap">In Three Stories</span>.</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'><span style="margin-left: 2em;">1. THE OLD BACHELOR'S STORY,</span></td><td align='right'><a href="#Page_7">7</a></td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'><span style="margin-left: 2em;">2. THE BIG BOY'S STORY,</span></td><td align='right'><a href="#Page_45">45</a></td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'><span style="margin-left: 2em;">3. THE FAT GENTLEMAN'S STORY,</span></td><td align='right'><a href="#Page_86">86</a></td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'>POSTSCRIPT BY THE OLD BACHELOR,</td><td align='right'><a href="#Page_90">90</a></td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'>CONCLUSION,</td><td align='right'><a href="#Page_132">132</a></td></tr> +</table></div> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /><p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_7" id="Page_7">[7]</a></span></p> +<h2>NEIGHBOR NELLY.</h2> + +<h3>IN THREE STORIES.</h3> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h2>THE OLD BACHELOR'S STORY.</h2> + + +<p><span class="smcap">In</span> the city block where I live, +there are just twenty-four houses on +the other side of the street, and twenty-four +on this side, six lamp posts, and +eight ailanthus trees in green boxes. +Oh, dear me, what a tiresome row! +That's what I thought when I first +came to lodge here; for, as I am an +old bachelor, I don't want a whole<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_8" id="Page_8">[8]</a></span> +house to myself; but now, when I sit +at my window and look out at the +street, I find no end of things to amuse +and interest me; particularly when +the gas is lighted of an evening, and I +can see a little way into the parlors +of the opposite neighbors. I suppose +they know that an old bachelor like +Josiah Oldbird can do no harm by +looking on at their evening amusements; +so they do not pull the blinds +down if they chance to see me, sitting +lonely at my window, and willing to +accept such crumbs of their society +and happiness as I can glean over the +way.</p> + +<p>First, then, is the family at No. 7, +three maiden sisters and a bachelor +brother. As I don't in the least know<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_9" id="Page_9">[9]</a></span> +their names, I have dubbed them the +Bluejays, because the three maiden +sisters always wear blue merino gowns +in winter, and blue muslin ones in +summer; and because they are all so +fond of singing that no family of birds +could be more musical. They have a +pet poodle and a pet squirrel, too. +The poodle is very fat, and his hair +sticks out so much all over him, that +he looks perpetually astonished, as if +he had just seen a spook. He always +stands on the window sill, when the +sash is raised of an afternoon, and +glares into the street until he sees the +bachelor brother coming. Then he +achieves a series of frantic yells and +bounces, until somebody comes to +open the door and lets him out, when<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_10" id="Page_10">[10]</a></span> +he waddles to the front steps to meet +his master, wagging his tail to that +tremendous extent, that it looks like +the shuttle of a steam power loom.</p> + +<p>The squirrel is slim and sleek, and +seems to enjoy life amazingly, he hops +about so. When one of the Miss Bluejays +takes him in her arms, he won't +stay there, but gets away, and walks +all over her head and shoulders; and +at last runs down her back and disappears.</p> +<div class="figright" style="width: 202px;"> +<img src="images/i002.jpg" width="202" height="200" alt="Sit down on a chair" title="" /> +</div> + +<p>Then, at No. 11, a very fat gentleman +lives with his fat and pretty wife, +and round dumpling of a baby. As I +don't know him either, I call him Mr. +Fatty, and he seems to be a "good-natured +giant." I saw a little boy actually +stop short to stare at him the<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_11" id="Page_11">[11]</a></span> +other day, when he was sitting out at +his front door—he is such a regular +roly-poly of a gentleman—but he only +laughed good-temperedly, and never +got vexed in the least. I don't advise +you to try this with all fat gentlemen +though; they might accidentally sit +down on a chair—where you were—afterward, +and that would be the last +of you. This piece of advice, however, +is a great secret between you and me!</p> + + +<p>He is so glad to meet the fat baby<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_12" id="Page_12">[12]</a></span> +when he comes home at night, that I +can see him in the parlor first kissing +it almost black and blue, and then tossing +it up in the air until I feel as though +its head must come bump against the +ceiling, but it doesn't—and at last, +carrying it off perched on his shoulder, +and looking very much perturbed +in its spirits.</p> + +<p>But the pleasantest neighbors of +all live exactly opposite, at No. 9. +They take tea every evening in the +back parlor; and as the front window +shades are up, and only the back +room lighted, I can always see them +at their cheerful meal. The rooms are +furnished in winter with dark red velvet +carpets and furniture; with red +damask curtains and red velvet paper<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_13" id="Page_13">[13]</a></span> +hangings. In summer they put up +white curtains, and carpets and furniture +have cool, cream-colored linen +coverings, so that the parlors look +cozy and charming at all seasons.</p> + +<p>As for the family there is a papa +and mamma, of course, and a dear little +girl and boy. The little girl is about +ten years old, I should think, with +great, dark-blue eyes, and curling auburn +hair. Her cheeks are as rosy as +ripe peaches, and her teeth as white +as so many pearls. Her nose does +turn up at the end a little, to be sure; +but that is rather saucy and becoming +than otherwise; and she always looks +so sweet tempered, and full of fun, too, +when I see her of an evening, that I +am sure she is as good as pie, and as<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_14" id="Page_14">[14]</a></span> +merry as a cricket! Her little brother, +who is a year or two younger, +looks very much like her, and their +obedient and pretty behavior at table +is something really beautiful to observe.</p> + +<p>It is nearly a year now, since I +moved into my lodging at "No. 10," +and began to wonder what No. 9's +name was; and now I must make +haste and tell you how, only last June, +I became acquainted with these dear +little neighbors of mine.</p> + +<p>One pleasant Friday morning, after +breakfast, I put on my old-fashioned +beaver hat, and taking my gold-headed +cane in one hand and my market +basket in the other, I trotted out to +buy something nice for dinner; for,<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_15" id="Page_15">[15]</a></span> +you see, I am a particular old bachelor, +and like to market for myself.</p> + +<p>Just as I was coming down the +steps, the door of No. 9 opened, and +the little girl ran down <i>her</i> steps. She +looked so bright and pretty in her +cunning round straw hat with the blue +ribbons, and white Marseilles cloak, +carrying her satchel of books and +lunch basket in her hand, that I could +not help nodding to her. So she nodded +to me, and then <i>I</i> nodded again +and smiled, and we each walked along +on our own side of the way. When +we came to the corner I thought I +would cross over and scrape some +more acquaintance with my little +neighbor. Now on the side of her +satchel, I saw, when I came near her,<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_16" id="Page_16">[16]</a></span> +was printed in gold letters, "Nelly +Lawson;" so I said, as cheerily as I +could, in my old, quavering voice:</p> + +<p>"Good morning, Neighbor Nelly!"</p> + +<p>The little maiden looked up in my +face in a shy fashion at first; but when +she saw what a mild, gray-headed old +bachelor had bade her good morning, +she took courage, and answered, +"Good morning, sir."</p> + +<p>"So you are going to school this +fine day?"</p> + +<p>"Yes; I go to school, but brother +Jimmy doesn't; he learns at home. I +think he is going next year. Have you +got a baby at your house? We have."</p> + +<p>"No," said I, sighing; "I haven't +got any baby; I am an old bachelor. +Will you marry me?"<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_17" id="Page_17">[17]</a></span></p> + +<p>"Oh, I am too little," she replied +quite seriously. "You will have to wait +until I grow up to you."</p> + +<p>I laughed, and asked her, "Don't +you want to go to market with me +before you go to school? There is +plenty of time."</p> + +<p>"No," replied my little neighbor, +firmly; "I can't go anywheres that +mamma does not know of."</p> + +<p>"That's right!" I said. "Don't do +anything your mother would disapprove. +Well, Neighbor Nelly, since +you won't go to market with me, I +must go to school with you; and tell +your mother that Neighbor Josiah +Oldbird would like you to take a walk +with him to-morrow; will you?"</p> + +<p>"Oh yes! that would be real<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_18" id="Page_18">[18]</a></span> +nice!" said my little neighbor with +a joyous skip.</p> + +<p>By this time we were walking +along hand in hand; and soon, seeing +my little neighbor look in at the window +of the candy shop round the corner +from our street, I thought I would +take her in and buy her some candy. +So in we marched, Nelly's great blue +eyes dancing with pleased expectation, +and stood close by the counter, waiting +for our turn to come. There were +a good many people in the candy +shop, and we had to wait some time; +so, to amuse ourselves, Neighbor Nelly +and I turned round, and began +looking at the funny folks near us.</p> + +<p>There was one very fat old country +woman, who seemed to be buying<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_19" id="Page_19">[19]</a></span> +"quarter or pound," as she said, of +every kind of candy in the shop. As +soon as the papers were handed to +her she began eating out of them, and +before she left, I should think, she had +eaten about two pounds of candy. +Besides the old woman, there were a +great many little children, who only +wanted a penny's worth each; but +they hesitated so long whether to +have "taffie" or "molasses," a lemon-candy +horse, or a cinnamon-candy +trumpet, that they were the most +troublesome customers of anybody. +Then there were several older boys +and girls; some, I am sorry to say, +picking up a loose bit of candy every +time the shopman turned away—as if +that were not stealing; and finally,<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_20" id="Page_20">[20]</a></span> +there was Neighbor Nelly and I, who +did none of these things, but just +looked on, and waited until the shopman +came to serve us.</p> + +<p>I bought some lemon candy, as +clear as a bit of yellow glass, and +some pungent cinnamon, and delectable +chocolate; and then I popped the +papers into Neighbor Nelly's satchel, +and we hurried on to school. We had +not far to go now, and when we came +to the house, my little new friend bid +me good-by, and thanked me so +sweetly, that I went away quite a +happy old bachelor.</p> + +<p>In the evening I was looking out +of my window as usual, when I saw +the servant girl come in to light the +gas in the back parlor at No. 9, with<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_21" id="Page_21">[21]</a></span> +Neighbor Nelly and the little brother +Jimmy behind her. While she was +setting the tea table, the children +came running to the window, and +both nodded and smiled at me. Presently +the little boy thrust both hands +in his pockets, and held them up +crammed full of candy. "Thank you, +Mr. Old Bachelor!" he shouted; "we +like you real well!"</p> + +<p>That made me real happy; for I +am not a crabbed old bachelor by any +means. In a minute more their father +came home; and as they all sat around +the pleasant tea table, I hope they +talked of their lonely old neighbor, +who watched them from his window.</p> + +<p>The next morning, as I was reading +the paper, in came the servant and<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_22" id="Page_22">[22]</a></span> +gave me the funniest little note! It +was addressed on the outside, "To my +neighbor Oldbird," and ran thus:</p> + +<div class="blockquot">"<span class="smcap">My dear Neighbor</span>: + +<p>"Mamma says I may take a walk +with you this morning, because you +are a good old bachelor. Jimmy wants +to go, and Gipsey. Gipsey is my dog. +He is black and tan, and his tail curls +round so, that papa says you might +use it for a cork-screw. Jimmy and I +mean to try some time. Gipsey likes +to be on the seashore, and so does +baby. We are going there next week—to +Long Branch. I hope you will +write me a letter when I am gone, and +I am Your affectionate</p> + +<div class='sig'>"<span class="smcap">Neighbor Nelly</span>.<br /> +</div> + +<p>"<small>Saturday Morning.</small>"</p></div><p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_23" id="Page_23">[23]</a></span></p> + +<p>You may believe how pleased I +was with this dear little note, and I +thought I would answer it. So I sat +down at my writing desk, found a +cunning little sheet of paper, with a +flag on it, and commenced.</p> + +<p>Now I happened to think, at that +moment, of some very comical letters +written by the great poet, Tom Hood, +to his little friends on the seashore; +and as they were ever so much funnier +than anything I could have written, +I copied one of them out, and sent it +to my little new friend.</p> + +<div class="blockquot">"<span class="smcap">My dear Neighbor Nelly</span>: + +<p>"I am very glad you are to walk +with me, and very sorry you are going +away so soon. Do you like to be on<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_24" id="Page_24">[24]</a></span> +the seashore? I did, when I was a +boy. I and my brother chucked hundreds +of stones into the sea, when we +were there, but we came away before +we could fill it up. Then there is the +fun of finding shiny pebbles and jelly +fish on the beach. I used to think +jelly fish were made of sea-calves' feet, +and no flavoring. I suppose the mermaids +eat them at their parties.</p> + +<p>"Then there's fishing on the seaside. +I used to catch flat fish sometimes, +with a long string line, it was +like swimming a kite. If you go out +in a surf boat, take care it does not +"flounder" and get "squamped," as +some people say, instead of founder +and swamped.</p> + +<p>"Have you ever been bathed in<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_25" id="Page_25">[25]</a></span> +the sea? I was, and, dear me! how +I kicked and screamed; or, at least, +tried to scream, but the sea, ships and +all, began to run into my mouth, and +so I shut it up. Remember, when you +are bathing, if you meet with a shark, +the best way is to bite off his legs, if +you can, before he walks away with +yours; and pray, pray, pray take care +of yourself in the sea, for in some +places, they say, it has not even a +bottom to go to.</p> + +<p>"Could you bring me a little crab +off the beach? If you would catch +one for me, and teach it to shake +hands without nipping and biting, it +would make me quite happy, for I +have not had any toys or playthings +in a long time. It would be a good<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_26" id="Page_26">[26]</a></span> +plan to hire a little crab to teach the +baby to crawl, if he can't walk yet. +Bless him! But I must not write on +him <ins title="Transcriber's Note: original reads 'anx'">any</ins> more; he is so soft, and I +have nothing but steel pens.</p> + +<p>"Now good-by; give my love to +everybody, and my compliments to all +the rest, and believe me, up hill and +down dale,</p> + +<div class='sig'> +<span style="margin-right: 4em;">"Your affectionate neighbor,</span><br /> +"<span class="smcap">Josiah Oldbird.</span>"<br /> +</div></div> + +<p>Then I put my letter in a flag envelope, +sealed it up tight, and wrote +on it, "To my dear Neighbor Nelly," +and had the maid take it to her.</p> + +<p>Presently I could see two little +figures flitting about in one of the upper +chambers, and soon after all four<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_27" id="Page_27">[27]</a></span> +of us, Nelly, Jimmy, I, and Gipsey, +were in the street. Gipsey was a "toy +terrier" that ought to have belonged +to "Commodore Nutt," the dwarf at +"Barnum's," and ran along on three +legs most of the time, with the fourth, +and his cork-screw tail elevated in +the air for joy at being allowed to join +the party; while the children were all +hop, skip, and jump, and kept tight +hold of a hand of mine apiece, as +though they were afraid of flying +away if they let go. Meanwhile, I +walked quietly along, with my market +basket on my arm, a sober old bachelor. +I expect the people who passed +us in the street thought me a rather +incongruous addition to such a frisky +party; but then, you know, children<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_28" id="Page_28">[28]</a></span> +<i>must</i> caper about. Bless your heart! +it would never do in the world to see +children mincing solemnly along, like +little old men and women; it would +be as absurd as to have my Neighbor +Nelly wearing her great-grandmother's +coal-scuttle bonnet! The last idea +struck me as so odd, that I drew a +little picture of Neighbor Nelly in this +guise when I got home, and here it is. +How do you like it?</p> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 294px;"> +<img src="images/i003.jpg" width="294" height="300" alt="In the bonnet" title="" /> +</div><p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_29" id="Page_29">[29]</a></span></p> + +<p>We thought we would go to market +first. So we walked slowly down +Fourth Avenue, and crossed over to +the market where the Seventh Regiment +armory is, opposite the Cooper +Institute.</p> + +<p>"My cousin is a Seventh Regimenter!" +said Jimmy as we climbed +up the iron steps; "he often let us +look on at his company drills last winter, +and afterward Nelly and I drilled +in our yard. The big boy who comes +to see the old ladies next door, looked +over the fence and laughed at us, but +we didn't care; and we mean to fight +for our country like everything when +we are bigger; that is, I mean to, and +Nelly would like to, but she's only a +girl, you know."<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_30" id="Page_30">[30]</a></span></p> + +<p>"Only a girl!" repeated Nelly, +tossing her long curls; "girls are a +great deal of use, too; I mended all +his stockings and all papa's this week—think +of that, neighbor Oldbird!"</p> + +<p>"That was really splendid!" said +I; and just then we entered the market.</p> + +<p>The very first thing we met was a +horrid big dog, that belonged to some +butcher; and, bless me! how he began +to show his great rows of teeth, +and growl at Gipsey! Nelly gave a +little scream, and tried to hide behind +me; Jimmy valiantly flew at the big +dog with my walking stick; and poor +little Gipsey nearly stood on the end +of his tail with fright, and squealed +dismally. What a fuss we were all<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_31" id="Page_31">[31]</a></span> +in, to be sure! So at last, to quiet the +disputants, I caught Gipsey up, and +put him in my coat pocket, where he +sat, looking out at the top, very much +comforted.</p> + +<p>Then we turned to the right, and +went by the brightest and prettiest +stall in the whole market. It was +kept by a Frenchman, who, in his +own language, would be called a +"<i>charcutier;</i>" but Jimmy and Nell +shouted out together "Oh, there's the +<i>pig man!</i>" as loud as ever they could, +and then stopped, blushing very much, +because they were afraid the pork +merchant heard them. I expect he +did; for he looked very funny when +we came close, and smoothing down +his snowy apron with his fat hands,<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_32" id="Page_32">[32]</a></span> +said "Bonjour, mademoiselle!" and +laughed good humoredly. There was +a great "head cheese" on the pig +man's marble counter, moulded in the +shape of a boar's head. The tusks +were made of white carrots, the eyes +of red jelly, and the sides of the dish +it was on were beautifully ornamented +with white roses, cut out of turnips, +and parsley foliage. Then there were +ever so many pork pies, with the most +elegant wreaths of flowers on the top +crust, comical little hams already +cooked, and fat dumplings of sucking +pigs, as pink as baby himself!</p> + +<p>When we had looked about us a little, +we concluded to buy a pork pie of +the pig man; and while that was being +nicely packed up in paper, out popped<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_33" id="Page_33">[33]</a></span> +Gipsey from my pocket, and stood +triumphant on the counter, in the +midst of the little pigs and savory pastries. +I don't know what forays he +would not have made upon them, if +he had not been captured by the pig +man, Jimmy, and me; but he did contrive +to jump right into the very middle +of another pork-pie! and then we +had to pay for that, too; and wipe +the gravy off Gipsey's feet and the +ends of his tail and nose, and button +him up tight in the market basket for +half an hour, as a punishment for his +naughtiness. As to the pie we had +bought, Jimmy carried that, and Gipsey +cut up so many antics inside the +basket, that he nearly wriggled it out +of my hand altogether.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_34" id="Page_34">[34]</a></span></p> + +<p>After that we went on, and found, +dear me! such a comfortable old market +woman, who sold us a nice little +chicken, and some fresh vegetables, +and gave the children each a great +handful of cherries; but we had to +tell her to send them home, with our +pie, because Gipsey had the basket in +possession.</p> + +<p>Then we walked into the street +again, and when we had let Gipsey +out of prison, concluded to leave the +basket at my baker's, and take a walk +in Broadway. Dear, dear me! what +quantities of shop windows there were +to stare into, and how we flattened +our three noses, and spread our six +hands all over every one of them, +while we admired the splendid picture<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_35" id="Page_35">[35]</a></span> +books, the stores of sugar plums, +or the wonders of toys they contained! +While we were occupied in this way, a +little girl, poorly dressed, and lugging +a large bundle of work in both arms, +came along, and stopping beside us at +the window of the most splendid toy +shop, stood looking wistfully in.</p> + +<p>Neighbor Nelly straightway twitched +my hand, and whispered, "Oh look, +Neighbor Oldbird! what a poor little +girl! I don't suppose she ever saw a +doll before in her life. How she must +wish she had one!"</p> + +<p>"Suppose we ask her?" I said.</p> + +<p>"Will you ask?" she answered; +"I don't like to."</p> + +<p>"Nonsense! ask her yourself; she +won't eat you, or Gipsey either;" for<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_36" id="Page_36">[36]</a></span> +Gipsey was sidling away between my +feet, as if he were alarmed too; the +saucy scamp!</p> + +<p>Thereupon Nelly moved closer to +the poor girl, and said, in a kind, little, +timid voice, "Do you like dolls?"</p> + +<p>"Yes, very much!" said the child, +with a surprised look.</p> + +<p>"Oh, so do I!" cried Nelly, rapturously. +"I have lots of them at +home; let me see, there's Jenny, and +Willie, and old black Nanny, and—" +she stopped short, seeing the other +look wistfully at her, and then said, +"Oh, I forgot! you have none, perhaps; +would you like to have one?"</p> + +<p>"Oh yes, miss!" said the child; +"not so much for myself, though, as +my little sister; she is sick, and can't<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_37" id="Page_37">[37]</a></span> +do anything, poor Clara! but I work, +and help my mother!" she added, +proudly.</p> + +<p>"What does your mother do?" +asked Jimmy.</p> + +<p>"She makes shirts for the army; +and I do all the button holes."</p> + +<p>"I can't make a button hole," said +Nelly, regretfully.</p> + +<p>Here I proposed we should walk +into the shop, and after we had looked +all we wanted to at the pretty things, +and the children, with screams of delight, +had ridden in turn on a "spring +rocking horse," that sent them flying +half way to the top of the glass cases +behind the counter, I gave Jimmy and +Nelly each two shillings, and told them +to buy whatever the little girl would<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_38" id="Page_38">[38]</a></span> +like best. The poor little thing's eyes +sparkled with happiness when Nelly +bought her the composition doll she +chose out of a heap that were piled in +a great basket, gorgeously dressed in +pink mosquito netting, as I thought, but +which Nelly informed me was a "tarletane;" +and Jimmy laid out his money +on a tiny bowl and pitcher of sprigged +china ware, and an astonished china +baby sitting in a bath, and looking as +if it had turned on the hot water, and +couldn't turn it off again.</p> + +<p>Then we trundled Gipsey about a +little in a wicker wagon we found, and +put him in the patent baby-jumper to +take an airing; and at last, when we +had teased him till he barked like one +of the toy poodles on the shelves, we<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_39" id="Page_39">[39]</a></span> +took ourselves off, and sent the poor +child on her way rejoicing.</p> + +<p>But it was getting late, and time +to trot home, before His Majesty the +Sun roasted us all like so many eggs. +Our street is always shady and cool, it +seems to me, and we were glad enough +to find ourselves once more on its +pavement. I invited Nelly and Jimmy +and Gipsey all to take lunch with +me, and didn't we have fun! We <ins title="Transcriber's Note: original reads 'eat'">ate</ins> +the pork pie, and stuffed Gipsey with +lumps of sugar, and discovered a pot +of raspberry jam in the closet, and ornamented +ourselves with red rims +round our mouths, digging it out; and +sliced, and buttered, and disposed of +almost half a loaf of French bread,<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_40" id="Page_40">[40]</a></span> +and hardly stopped laughing, chattering, +and barking a single minute.</p> + +<p>And then, after all this was over, +my little neighbors bid me good-by, +and Gipsey barked at me and poked +his cold nose into my hand, which +meant "Good-by and thank you," all +the same, and the three went home as +merry as crickets.</p> + +<p>I could not see much of my little +neighbors before they went away the +next Tuesday, but I was invited to +take tea at No. 9 the very last evening; +and then, what should I find out +but that Nelly's mamma was the +daughter of an old friend of mine +whom I had not seen for years! So +we felt quite like relations right away. +Just as tea was over, lo and behold!<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_41" id="Page_41">[41]</a></span> +there was a tremendous hullaballoo +on the back piazza, and when we +poked our heads out of the window to +see what the matter was, there was +Gipsey high and dry on the back of +Miss Bluejay's fat poodle—having +squeezed through the railing which +separated the two piazzas—with the +squirrel, which had come to the rescue +of his friend, hanging on to his tail! +and all three setting up a squeal of remonstrance. +Gipsey's plight was so +extremely well deserved, that we +wouldn't go to his rescue; but at last, +with a tremendous twist, he snatched +away his cork-screw tail, and ran to +hide himself and his injured feelings +under the sofa in the front room. +How we laughed at him! and how<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_42" id="Page_42">[42]</a></span> +Nelly tried to make him come out +and be lump-sugared into good humor, +but he wouldn't; so, to make up, +we coaxed the fat poodle, which had +been staring in at the performance and +sniffing satisfaction, to sit up and beg +for us until we gave him the lump of +sugar. Then Mrs. Lawson sat down +to the piano, and began playing a +funny little hornpipe tune that sounded +just like a banjo; and, to our astonishment, +the fat poodle developed +another accomplishment; for, getting +on his hind legs, he gravely hopped +up and down on the piazza, keeping +time to the music, until we nearly +died of laughter.</p> + +<p>You may fancy, after all these +comical doings, that we managed to<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_43" id="Page_43">[43]</a></span> +spend a merry evening, and when I at +last bid my neighbors good night, it +was no longer with the feeling that I +was a lonely old bachelor.</p> + +<p>I did find the street pretty lonely +though, after they had gone, next +day, with two great big trunks +strapped on behind the carriage, a +middling sized trunk hoisted up in +front, and several small carpet bags, +and tiny tawny bundles and baskets +in every place where room could be +found. I fancy Gipsey was in one of +the baskets, by the way it bounced +and wriggled about in Neighbor Nelly's +lap; but I don't know; I only +saw it from my window, whence I +waved an adieu to them as they rolled +away.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_44" id="Page_44">[44]</a></span></p> + +<p>A few days after they had gone, +I thought I would amuse myself, in +their absence, by trying to find out if +any of the other neighbors knew anything +about my neighbor, Nelly. I +succeeded in learning what two of +them knew, and they shall tell it for +themselves in the stories that follow, +and which I have written out. And +now, if any other dear little children +have been pleased with me, in what I +have told of my walks and talks with +Neighbor Nelly, just let them come to +No. 10, and meet the hearty greeting +and loving welcome of the</p> + +<div class='sig'><span class="smcap">Old Bachelor</span>!<br /> +</div> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /><p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_45" id="Page_45">[45]</a></span></p> +<h2>THE BIG BOY'S STORY.</h2> + + +<p><span class="smcap">You</span> want me to tell you what I +know about the pretty little girl next +door? Well, I'm ready to begin, if +you won't mind my talk; I'm only a +boy, you know, and can't use fine +words—that's all humbug.</p> + +<p>My name is Tom Halstead. I am +nephew to the Miss Brandlaws, who +live at No. 7. The idea of calling my +darling old friskies "The Bluejays!" +(If you don't give me that Australian +post stamp I saw in your desk, I'll tell<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_46" id="Page_46">[46]</a></span> +'em, too!) However, to go on with +my story.</p> + +<p>One morning last winter, just at +the end of the Christmas holidays, +while I was on a visit there, I didn't +know what on earth to do with myself. +So I caught Poddles (that's the +poodle), dressed him up in Aunt Elsie's +nightcap, tied a life preserver round +him, and put him in the portable +shower-bath, just for fun; it didn't +hurt him a bit, and—would you believe +it? the hateful thing hopped +out, squealing murder, shook himself +all over the carpet, scratched off the +nightcap, and danced round the room +with it in a fury, till it was in perfect +rags.</p> + +<p>Up rushed Aunt Elsie, and was so<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_47" id="Page_47">[47]</a></span> +horrified when she saw the carpet and +her cap in such a mess, and "darling +doggie" all "wetsey-petsey," that she +locked me up in my room for the rest +of the day on bread and water! and +there was gingerbread, with raisins +in it, baking down stairs!! Horrid!!!</p> + +<p>Of course I couldn't spend my time +sucking my thumbs; so, like a sensible +fellow, I set myself to find some better +employment, and soon a grand idea +came into my head. I had just finished +reading a jolly old-fashioned +novel I found in Uncle Herbert's +room, called "The Castle Spectre: a +Tale of Spain;" where a goose of a +lover, such a spooney! had scrambled +down from the top of a castle, hanging<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_48" id="Page_48">[48]</a></span> +on to his bedclothes. <i>Now</i>, don't +you see it? Perhaps not, so I'll explain.</p> + +<p>My bedroom is the third floor, back +room, always; and you know that piazza +at the back of the house? Well, +what did I do, but twitch off <i>my</i> bedcover—nice +white one it was, too—tie +it to the bedpost, and let the end +hang out of the window. Then I +scrambled out, and slid down the wall +like a streak of lightning! You can't +think what jolly fun it was!</p> + +<p>There was lots of amusement in +the yard; twelve cats on the fence to +plague, and no end of snow to make +balls and pelt the cook with; beside, +the gingerbread was just baked, and +I got a <i>brown corner!</i> So! there!<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_49" id="Page_49">[49]</a></span> +while I was eating it, and it was so +hot that it almost sizzled, all at once +I heard a lot of noise in the next +yard. Some boys seemed to be having +a drill there; so I ran up the steps +leading from the piazza to the ground, +and looked over the fence. But lor +now! what do you think? one of the +boys was a girl! She had on long +india-rubber boots, and I called out, +"Go it, Boots!"</p> + +<p>Then the little boy that was with +her, who seemed to be her brother, +looked so mad at me! and, really and +truly, I couldn't help plaguing them a +little. I know you think I was real +mean; but if you had seen how funny +they looked, in paper cocked hats, +with turkey tails for feathers, and the<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_50" id="Page_50">[50]</a></span> +little boy thumping a big tin saucepan +for a drum, you would have laughed, +too; so you needn't look so provoked, +Neighbor Oldbird!</p> + +<p>"Gee up, awkward squad!" I +said; "double quick halt on the +right flank! Ha-ahup!"</p> + +<p>But the little girl only laughed +good humoredly, and said: "Jimmy +and I belong to the Seventh Regiment, +and drill in the last fashion. +Don't you want to come and learn the +Lefferts Tactics?"</p> + +<p>Wasn't she a nice little thing! +Never got mad or anything, but just +gave me back as good as I sent. I +declare, I fell right smack in love with +her that minute, and I don't care a fig +now for the girl I met in dancing<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_51" id="Page_51">[51]</a></span> +school, upon my word I don't; so I +rushed back into the kitchen, coaxed +the cook to give me two more hunks +of gingerbread, and called out, "Won't +you have some cake?"</p> + +<p>They came running up on the piazza +like lamplighters; and while they +were eating the gingerbread, <i>I</i> was +eating something I got especially for +myself at the same time. Did you ever +try it? You have a great big sour +apple, as cold as it can be, and a tremendous +pickled pepper, as hot as it +can be; then you take first a bite of +the pepper, and nearly burn all the +skin off your throat, and then a bite +of the apple to cool it again; and so +on. It's gorgeous, I tell you!</p> + +<p>Presently the little boy (whose<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_52" id="Page_52">[52]</a></span> +name, as I said, was Jimmy), stopped +his eating to ask me, "Do you live in +New York?"</p> + +<p>"No, I live at White Plains. I go +to the Military Academy there; don't +you want me to show you some +drill?"</p> + +<p>"Oh, Cousin Charley is going to +teach us some time. He belongs to +the Seventh Regiment. We love to be +soldiers, though, and we know a boy, +Freddy Jourdain his name is, who got +up a whole regiment, and has parades, +and went into camp, and everything."</p> + +<p>"We have a camp at White Plains," +I told them. "Do you ever go there +in summer, Miss——" here I stopped, +rather awkwardly, not knowing what +her name was.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_53" id="Page_53">[53]</a></span></p> + +<p>"Oh, I'm not 'Miss' anybody;" +she said; "I'm Nelly; but we go to +the seashore in summer 'most always."</p> + +<p>"Can't you dress up in your uniform, +and show us how you look at +school?" said Jimmy.</p> + +<p>"Yes, if you like;" here I remembered +that the key of my room was in +Aunt Elsie's pocket, and had to say, +"but I can't get into my room now; I +was locked in, and Aunt Elsie has the +key."</p> + +<p>"How do you come to be here, +then?" said Nelly; "why, dear me, +just look at the counterpane hanging +out of the window; how funny!"</p> + +<p>"Why, that's the way I got out!" +I said; and so I told them all about<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_54" id="Page_54">[54]</a></span> +"The Castle Spectre," and "Lord +Alonzo Algernon" Spooneyman, and +we got into such a perfect <i>gig</i> of +laughter, that we nearly rode off in it! +(Now, don't say that's not a good joke, +or I'll not tell another word of my +story.)</p> + +<p>Just then out came Poddles, looking +as surprised as ever; and Nelly +exclaimed, "Oh, there's that funny old +dog! what do you call him?"</p> + +<p>"His name is Poddles!" said I; +"<i>I</i> christened him."</p> + +<p>"What a queer name!" said Jimmy; +"let's take him into our house +and see what Gipsey and he will do!"</p> + +<p>"Good!" said I. So, without remembering +that plaguey white spread, +I cut over the piazza railings with<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_55" id="Page_55">[55]</a></span> +Poddles under one arm, and we all +three rushed up stairs together.</p> + +<p>They had such a famous play room, +with a splendid swing, and a teetertorter, +and ten-pins, and I don't know +what beside; and there was the nattiest +little dog! but you know him, +that "toy-terrier" of theirs. Poddles +looked a greater fright than ever +beside him; so, to pay him off, we put +that wretched Pod into a basket, tied +it fast to the swing, and swung him +up to the ceiling. It frightened him +half to death, and serve him right, for +being so ugly! after which he and +Gipsey went to sleep in a big rocking +chair, as friendly as possible. Then I +gave Nelly a splendid swing, "ran under," +and cracked my cocoanut three<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_56" id="Page_56">[56]</a></span> +times, beside making my arms ache +like everything; but I didn't care, she +was such a dear little thing.</p> + +<p>Afterward Jimmy went and got a +great plateful of rosy apples; and just +as we were eating them, and having +such fun, up came one of our girls, +and said that "Miss Brandlaw wanted +Master Tom right home!" Wasn't it +hateful? But, of course, I had to go; +so I bundled Poddles under my arm +again, bid them good-by, and walked +off with Mary; but I poked her ribs +and set Poddles at her all the way, +which was some comfort.</p> + +<p>I expected a scolding when I came +home, and I didn't have one—oh no! +Aunt Elsie wanted to know where I +<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_57" id="Page_57">[57]</a></span>thought I should die when I went to—(no,<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 0.5em;">I believe it was the other way,</span><br /> +but never mind)—if I hung best bed +spreads out of the window, and left +my room without permission? besides +informing me that she should write to +ma', and have me sent for. Finally, +she marched me up stairs again; and +when I said I <i>must</i> have something to +do to keep me out of mischief, she +gave me a Sunday school book to +read, and took herself off.</p> + +<p>Of course you will say I was dreadfully +wicked not to like the Sunday +school book, but I couldn't. It was +so full of hard names and long words, +and was all about sanctification and +justification and regeneration, and +how was I to understand a word of +it? I love Bible stories, but I don't<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_58" id="Page_58">[58]</a></span> +think there is a boy or girl who <i>understands +hard doctrines</i>. Do you, +Neighbor Oldbird?</p> + +<p>I pretty soon gave up that employment, +and amused myself instead with +pelting the cats on the fence with a +few marbles, and trying on my uniform, +to see how I looked in it; until +Aunt Elsie relented, I suppose, for she +came up and asked me through the +keyhole if I was sorry, and wouldn't +do any more. You can fancy what +my answer was, and after dinner I got +permission to go out and play on the +sidewalk.</p> + +<p>Neighbor Nelly and Jimmy joined +me there pretty soon, and we had +such fun playing "tag" and driving +hoop. It wasn't hoop <i>time</i>, to be<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_59" id="Page_59">[59]</a></span> +sure, but that was no matter. Then, +when we were tired of that, we all sat +down together on the upper step of +No. 9, and began talking about their +school and mine, and what we learned.</p> + +<p>"Do you ever learn pieces of poetry?" +asked Nelly. "My teacher, +Miss Backboard, always gives the girls +each a piece of poetry every Friday; +so we call that poetry day."</p> + +<p>"I used to learn pieces too," I +said; "but I don't care much for poetry +unless it's funny."</p> + +<p>"Tell us a funny piece," said Jimmy.</p> + +<p>"Ah yes, do!" added Nelly; and, +of course, when a <i>lady</i> asked me I +had to, though I felt pretty bashful; +so I began.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_60" id="Page_60">[60]</a></span></p> + + +<div class='center'>A DAY OF MISHAPS.<br /> + +(<small>AS TOLD BY BOBBY BREAKWINDOW, A SCHOOLBOY.</small>)</div> + + + + + +<div class='hang1'> +Oh dear! was there ever anybody so unlucky as I am,</div> +<div class='hang1'>From General ——, who lost that battle t'other day, all the way back to Priam!</div> +<div class='hang1'>Come, sit down—do, and let me tell you all about it, and what's the matter;</div> +<div class='hang1'>Perhaps it will do me good to have a nice, comfortable, miserable chatter.</div> +<div class='hang1'>To begin, then. This morning I woke, and thought I was up with the sun.</div> +<div class='hang1'><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_61" id="Page_61">[61]</a></span>So never hurried myself; but dressed slow, and came down, to find breakfast all done,</div> +<div class='hang1'>And nothing left for me but one cold slapjack, and all the chicken gone,</div> +<div class='hang1'>Unless, to be sure, I could have eaten the drumsticks, and one perfectly clean breast bone!</div> +<div class='hang1'>And, of course, I had to make haste, for it was nine o'clock and after,</div> +<div class='hang1'>And the master had offered a prize to the earliest boy—and here was I beaten by even lazy Tommy Shafter!</div> +<div class='hang1'>But it was no use to fret, so I snatched up my satchel, and would have been off in a minute,</div> +<div class='hang1'><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_62" id="Page_62">[62]</a></span>When lo and behold! my geography was gone; and though we hunted the house, it was plain it wasn't in it,</div> +<div class='hang1'>Till at last I remembered that yesterday I had gone after school to the dog pound,</div> +<div class='hang1'>And then been fishing with Fred Lee; so, probably, it was at the bottom of the frog pond!</div> +<div class='hang1'>Well, off to school I went, and came in after every schoolmate;</div> +<div class='hang1'>So, to pay me off, the schoolmaster and all the boys called me Bobby Toolate!</div> +<div class='hang1'>But that wasn't all; for the class was just up for spelling,</div> +<div class='hang1'>And I didn't know the lesson, and Tommy Shafter prompted me to spell boots <i>butes;</i> and that's all I got for telling,</div> +<div class='hang1'><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_63" id="Page_63">[63]</a></span>Besides going to the foot of the class, and having to get the lesson over;</div> +<div class='hang1'>I tell you what! a hand-organ monkey's life, compared to a schoolboy's, is perfect rolling in clover!</div> +<div class='hang1'>And I wish I was a monkey, if I did get beaten—yes, that I do—</div> +<div class='hang1'>In a red coat all over spangles, and blue trowsers, and a long tail behind to come through!</div> +<div class='hang1'>Well, thank goodness, it's over; but that's not the half of my pother;</div> +<div class='hang1'>For the very minute I got out of school, Tommy Shafter began to plague and bother,</div> +<div class='hang1'>And wanted me to ride on the gate with him that goes in to his grandfather Chowser's;</div> +<div class='hang1'><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_64" id="Page_64">[64]</a></span>So I did; but there's spikes on the top of that gate; and, confound it, I went to work and tore my trowsers!</div> +<div class='hang1'>Just then along came Miss Kitty Snow, and didn't I look dashing,</div> +<div class='hang1'>And that hateful Tommy Shafter bawled out "How are you, trowsers?" and jumped down and walked off with her; but just see if I don't give him a thrashing!</div> +<div class='hang1'>To pay him off for what he did and more too; for, when I came home weeping and wailing,</div> +<div class='hang1'><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_65" id="Page_65">[65]</a></span>Pa boxed my ears, and said I was such a bad boy I shouldn't go with him now out sailing;</div> +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 350px;"> +<img src="images/i004.jpg" width="350" height="253" alt="Boxed my ears" title="" /> +</div> + +<div class='hang1'>So I had the pleasure of seeing the rockaway drive up to the door,</div> +<div class='hang1'>And pa and ma getting in, and sister Tilly, and brother Sam, and ever so many more,</div> +<div class='hang1'>All looking so happy and gay, and not caring a bit for poor Bobby,</div> +<div class='hang1'>Just as if I <i>wanted</i> to get into scrapes, and mischief and bad conduct were quite my hobby!</div> +<div class='hang1'>Then off they whirled; and as I was left alone, I thought I might as well be up and doing.</div> +<div class='hang1'>Oh, good gracious, why didn't I sit still? but how could I tell what was brewing?</div> +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 391px;"> +<img src="images/i005.jpg" width="391" height="600" alt="BOBBY AND ROVER." title="" /> +<span class="caption">BOBBY AND ROVER.</span> +</div> +<div class='hang1'><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_66" id="Page_66">[66]</a></span>So I went to the stable to see our big dog Rover, and thought I would take him out with me;</div> +<div class='hang1'>When, just as I had slipped his chain, he broke loose, and ran, I don't know where! and, I'm sure, pa will never forgive me!</div> +<div class='hang1'>For he thought so much of Rover. Oh, dear me, what shall I do?</div> +<div class='hang1'>If it would be any use in the world, I really think I should begin to boohoo!</div> +<div class='hang1'>The stable boy told me not to take him; but I should like to see myself minding him <i>rather;</i></div> +<div class='hang1'>And of course, out of revenge, he'll just go and make the worst of it to father.</div> +<div class='hang1'>Well, one would think that was enough; but when I came back to the house, oh jolly!</div> +<div class='hang1'><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_67" id="Page_67">[67]</a></span>There was our big cat just making a spring at sister Tilda's pretty polly!</div> +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 400px;"> +<img src="images/i006.jpg" width="400" height="292" alt="The cat making a spring" title="" /> +</div> +<div class='hang1'>And in my haste to save the bird I threw the poker at the cat and killed her!</div> +<div class='hang1'>And got myself in for a scolding from ma, and no great thanks from Tilda.</div> +<div class='hang1'>It's six o'clock now; so, I suppose, they'll soon be home as cross as any Tartar,</div> +<div class='hang1'><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_68" id="Page_68">[68]</a></span>To give it to me for being such a bad boy, though I'm sure I'm a regular martyr;</div> +<div class='hang1'>Don't you think so now, after all that I've just been telling?</div> +<div class='hang1'>No breakfast, no geography, late at school, tore my trowsers, kept at home, lost the dog, killed the cat, and didn't know my spelling!</div> +<div class='hang1'>I think the best thing I can do is to go to bed, put my head under the clothes,</div> +<div class='hang1'>And in a good, comfortable sleep try to forget all my sorrows and my woes;</div> +<div class='hang1'>But you may be sure, after this, I shall not neglect to take warning,</div> +<div class='hang1'>And begin to-morrow all right, without any sort of fail, by getting up early in the morning!</div> + + +<p>"There!" said I, when I had finished, +and it quite wore my tongue<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_69" id="Page_69">[69]</a></span> +thin to repeat such a long piece of +poetry. "What do you think of <i>that</i> +for a story?"</p> + +<p>"I think it is real funny," said Nelly, +laughing; "I wish I knew something +to tell."</p> + +<p>"I can say a funny piece!" shouted +Jimmy.</p> + +<p>"Well, say it, then," we two—Nelly +and I—put in.</p> + +<p>Up he jumped right off, struck a +funny attitude, and began:</p> + +<div class='poem'> +"The boy stood on the burning deck,<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 0.5em;">Peeling potatoes by the peck!</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 0.5em;">The flames rolled on and scorched his shins,</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 0.5em;">As he stood peeling potato skins!</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 0.5em;">'Oh pa'!' he cried, 'the flames is hot,</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 0.5em;">Come, put the potatoes in the pot!'</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 0.5em;">But his father, alas! ne'er came to sup,</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 0.5em;">So the flames rolled on and frizzled him up!"</span><br /> +</div> +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_70" id="Page_70">[70]</a></span></p> + +<p>"Did you ever hear anything so +ridiculous as that?" cried Nelly. +"Poor Casabianca! I used to cry +over him dreadfully; but I shall never +think of him now without laughing. +Where did you learn that, Jimmy?"</p> + +<p>"Oh, Harry Agnew told it to me; +he said he repeated it one day in +school, when the master asked him +if he could say a piece of poetry, and +everybody burst out laughing. The +master laughed too; so he couldn't +put anybody down for a bad mark, +though Harry was afraid he would."</p> + +<p>"That was almost equal to the +trick we played at school," said I. +"We wanted the doctor to give us a +holiday, but he didn't seem to see it; +so when we were called up for our<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_71" id="Page_71">[71]</a></span> +reading after recess, we were told to +read Montgomery's poem called 'Questions +to Birds and their Answers.' One +of the verses is about the swallow, and +reads thus:</p> + +<div class='poem'> +"'Swallow, why homeward turned thy joyful wing?'<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 0.5em;">'In a far land I heard the voice of spring;</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 0.5em;">I found myself that moment on the way,</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 0.5em;">My wings, my wings, they had not power to stay.'</span><br /> +</div> + +<div class='unindent'>—but we changed it as though the +doctor was asking us a question and +we were answering—this way:</div> + +<div class='poem'> +"'Boys! why are you forever on the wing,<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 0.5em;">Wanting a holiday for everything?'</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 0.5em;">'From you we are so glad to get away,</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 0.5em;">Our legs, our legs, they will not let us stay.'"</span><br /> +</div> + +<p>How we all laughed over this; it +was real true, too; and pretty soon<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_72" id="Page_72">[72]</a></span> +after, as it was getting dark, I bid +them good-by and ran home.</p> + +<p>Next morning, what should Aunt +Elsie and Aunt Ruth (Aunt Priscilla +was away on a visit) take into their +heads, but that they hadn't had any +fun house-cleaning—(I suppose they +must think it's fun, or they wouldn't +do it so often)—for ever so long; so +nothing would suit them but to set the +whole house in an uproar as quick as +possible. Of course, I was in the way, +whether I stayed in the garret or the +kitchen; knocked down three pails +and a scrubbing brush every time I +went down stairs, nearly drowned +Poddles in hot soapsuds, splashed myself +all over with whitewash trying to +"do" the kitchen ceiling (on my own<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_73" id="Page_73">[73]</a></span> +account, when nobody was by), until +I looked as if I had been out in a +snowstorm, and watering the windows +outside with the long hosepipe, until +every one of them was dripping <i>inside</i> +like a waterfall.</p> + +<p>Now, Neighbor Nelly and Jimmy +had been looking out of their parlor +window, and advising me which were +the best parts of our windows to play +on, when, all of a sudden, Nelly +said:</p> + +<p>"Why, Tom, it doesn't half clean +the panes to do them that way; they +ought to be washed with soap and hot +water. Suppose we try it? Only +think!" she went on, "how much +your aunties would be obliged to us +if we were to find out a new way to<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_74" id="Page_74">[74]</a></span> +make windows clean, ever so much +better than the old one!"</p> + +<p>"Splendid!" said I and Jimmy +together. "Come, let's try it right +away!"</p> + +<p>With that, Nelly and Jimmy came +into our house, and into the front +basement; Aunt Elsie and Aunt Ruth +were both up stairs; so we had the +two lower stories all to ourselves.</p> + +<p>As Nelly was afraid of spoiling her +frock, I dived into the cook's dresser +drawer, where she keeps her own table +covers and clean dish cloths, and +fished out a great big brown roller-towel, +which we pinned round her +neck, making her look in front as if +she was tied up in a potato sack, with +only her head left out. Then Jimmy<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_75" id="Page_75">[75]</a></span> +and I took off our nice jackets, rolled +up our shirt sleeves, lugged in three +big yellow dishes full of hot water, +spilling plenty on the way, found a +long bar of brown soap, and helped +ourselves to three more of Bridget's +clean towels; and then we all three +began scrubbing away at the windows!</p> + +<p>Such fun as we had! We put on +the greatest lot of soap, and paid +away with both hands, so as to make +them good and <i>clean</i>, laughing and +talking all the time; and when we +thought the water had been used +enough, or, rather when it was nearly +all spilt, we took up our yellow bowls +and marched into the kitchen for +more.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_76" id="Page_76">[76]</a></span></p> + +<p>Our boiler, you must know, is a tin +affair, like a large soup kettle without +the handle, and has a faucet in front +to draw the water off. We put it on +the middle of the range, and keep it +always full and boiling; and now, instead +of filling our dishes right away, +we began playing the kitchen was a +steamboat, and the water heater the +boiler, just ready to burst; so, of +course, it was necessary to let off +steam, which we did by drawing a +little water at a time from the faucet +into one of our yellow dishes, and tilting +it back again as soon as the dish +was full, beside "tooting," as loud as +we could, to represent the commotion +going on to perfection. We were soon +so busy over this, that we forgot all<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_77" id="Page_77">[77]</a></span> +about the front basement windows for +ever so long, until we heard Aunt Elsie +calling out, "Tom! Tom! where +are you?"</p> + +<p>"Here I am, Aunt Elsie! come +right along! Here we all are, washing +the windows for you as nice as +anything!"</p> + +<p>Down marched Aunt Elsie, short +order; and the minute she came into +the basement we heard her give an +"O——h!" about a quarter of a mile +long. We all rushed to ask what was +the matter; and such a pickle as the +windows were in you never did +see. The soap was in streaks, and +smears, and lumps all over the panes, +making them look as if somebody had +spilt a lot of hasty pudding on them,<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_78" id="Page_78">[78]</a></span> +and it had stuck fast. Of course, as +we left them so long, the soap had +hardened on; and poor Nelly, frightened +half out of her wits, began to +cry. That put me up, I can tell you; +I was determined Aunt Elsie shouldn't +scold her; so I begged her not to be +angry with anybody but me, for it +wasn't their fault at all.</p> + +<p>"And I must say you are old +enough to know better, Tom," said +my aunt, looking at me reproachfully +over the tops of her spectacles; "and +as a punishment, you must get all the +soap off the window before you have +any dinner. The children had better +go home."</p> + +<p>But now, what do you think that +darling of a Nelly, and Jimmy did?<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_79" id="Page_79">[79]</a></span> +They declared I shouldn't do it all +alone by myself, but they would stay +and help me; so, after Aunt Elsie had +been coaxed to let us, we filled our +dishes again, and went to work as +busy as bees. It was pretty hard +work getting the soap off, but we made +a joke of it, and by the time the windows +were fairly polished up, as bright +as new pins, we were in a perfect frolic. +I expect Nelly's bright eyes had +something to do with it, for Aunt Elsie, +after we had finished, and come +shouting to her with our faces as red +as fire, and considerable brown soap +on us in spots, said, "we were famous +workpeople," and gave us New Year's +cookies, and almonds, and raisins for +lunch. I had a Philopœna among my<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_80" id="Page_80">[80]</a></span> +nuts, which I ate with Nelly; and +pretty soon after they went home.</p> + +<p>I did hope she would catch me on +the Philopœna, because I had something +that I meant to give her all +along; and this would be a famous +chance. It was a nest of little boxes, +made of plaid papier-maché, about a +dozen, one inside the other; and when +you came to the very last, and had +opened that, there was a gold thimble +and scissors, and a little gold bodkin, +a needlecase full of tiny needles, and a +puncher, just big enough for the queen +of the fairies; I won it at a raffle on +Christmas Eve, and kept it to give to +some little girl, for, of course, it wasn't +any use to me; what could I do with +a thimble and needles? Sure enough,<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_81" id="Page_81">[81]</a></span> +when I looked out of the back parlor +window next morning, Neighbor Nelly +looked out of <i>her</i> window, said with a +saucy smile, "Good morning, Mr. Tom—Philopœna!" +and popped back again.</p> + +<p>"Good!" I said. So, after breakfast, +I asked Aunt Elsie for a nice +sheet of paper and a new pen, and +then I ran up to my own room, and +sat down to write a little note to my +neighbor. I'm sure, that showed how +much I liked her, if anything could, +for I'd rather do a sum in compound +fractions, or a French exercise, than +write a note. It quite gives me the +toothache; but at last I wrote something +very pretty, as, I'm sure, you +will say when I repeat it to you. This +is what I said:<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_82" id="Page_82">[82]</a></span></p> + +<div class="blockquot">"<span class="smcap">My dear Miss Nelly</span>: + +<p>"I hope you will accept the little +present I send you for a Philopœna, +because I like you very much. I am +real glad you caught me, for perhaps +this will remind you of me when I go +back to school. I hope the needles will +sew all the holes in your clothes, that +the thimble will keep you from pricking +your pretty little finger, and that</p> + +<div class='poem'> +"If you loves I as I loves you,<br /> +The scissors won't cut our love in two.<br /> +</div> + +<p>"Good-by.</p> + +<p>"From your affectionate friend</p> + +<div class='sig'> +"<span class="smcap">Tom.</span>"<br /> +</div> +</div> + +<p>Then I packed up the boxes and +the letter in nice white paper, and +coaxed Mary to take it in right away;<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_83" id="Page_83">[83]</a></span> +and you can't tell how many pretty, +smiling thanks I had in return.</p> + +<p>But you think I am making my +story too long, Neighbor Oldbird? +Well, perhaps I am, but there seems +to be so much to tell about Nelly, and +the nice times we had together, that I +don't know when to stop. I am 'most +through now.</p> + +<p>The day I sent her the Philopœna +present was the last of my stay in +town; and after I had packed up my +clothes ready to start (with a gorgeous +plum cake and two jars of raspberry +jam in a box, which my dear +old Friskies gave me,—they always do +make everything of me, in spite of +their lectures), I went to Uncle Herbert's +room to bid him good-by, for I<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_84" id="Page_84">[84]</a></span> +knew I should not see him again before +I started, and he made me the +best present of all. It was a dear little +watch and chain; for he said, as +I was nearly fifteen, I was quite old +enough to take care of one. Wasn't +that kind of him?</p> + +<p>Well, dear me, I don't want to say +good-by a bit, and I did not then; +but, of course, it had to come, and I +shook hands with my dear little +friends, only wishing to goodness that +I lived in New York.</p> + +<p>We promised about twenty-five +times apiece always to be friends; and +then I kissed Aunt Elsie and Aunt +Ruth, pulled Poddles' ears for good-by, +and pranced off all alone; of +course, boys that have watches are<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_85" id="Page_85">[85]</a></span> +plenty big enough to go from New +York to White Plains by themselves. +I suppose we always shall stay there, +for papa is abominably fond of the +country; but just wait until I am a +man, and see if I don't come to live in +New York, and marry Neighbor Nelly, +if she will have me. Mind you keep +that last remark a secret, now, Neighbor +Oldbird! That's all there is +about it.</p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /><p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_86" id="Page_86">[86]</a></span></p> +<h2>THE FAT GENTLEMAN'S STORY.</h2> + + +<div class='poem'> +<span class="smcap">I'm</span> in love with Neighbor Nelly,<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">Though I know she's only ten;</span><br /> +While I am five and forty,<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">And the <i>married-est</i> of men.</span><br /> +I've a wife as fat as butter,<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">And a baby—such a boy!</span><br /> +With the plumpest cheeks and shoulders,<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">Who's his father's dearest joy.</span><br /> +<br /> +Though a Square toes and a Buffer,<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">Still I've sunshine in my heart;</span><br /> +Still I'm <ins title="Transcriber's Note: original reads 'found'">fond</ins> of tops and marbles<br /> +<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_87" id="Page_87">[87]</a></span><span style="margin-left: 1em;">Can appreciate a tart.</span><br /> +I can love my Neighbor Nelly,<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">Just as though I were a boy,</span><br /> +And would hand her cakes and apples,<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">From my depths of corduroy.</span><br /> +<br /> +She is tall, and growing taller;<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">She is vigorous of limb;</span><br /> +(You should see her playing soldiers<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">With her little brother Jim!)</span><br /> +She has eyes as blue as damsons;<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">She has pounds of auburn curls;</span><br /> +She regrets the game of leapfrog<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">Is prohibited to girls.</span><br /> +<br /> +I adore my Neighbor Nelly,<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">I invite her in to tea,</span><br /> +And I let her nurse the baby<br /> +<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_88" id="Page_88">[88]</a></span><span style="margin-left: 1em;">Her delightful ways to see.</span><br /> +Such a darling bud of woman!<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">Yet remote from any teens;</span><br /> +I have learnt from Neighbor Nelly<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">What the girls' doll instinct means.</span><br /> +<br /> +Oh! to see her with the baby!<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">(He adores her more than I);</span><br /> +How she choruses his crowing,<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">How she hushes every cry!</span><br /> +How she loves to pit his dimples<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">With her light forefinger deep;</span><br /> +How she boasts, as one in triumph,<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">When she gets him off to sleep!</span><br /> +<br /> +We must part, my Neighbor Nelly,<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">For the summers quickly flee;</span><br /> +And the middle-aged admirer<br /> +<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_89" id="Page_89">[89]</a></span><span style="margin-left: 1em;">Must, too soon, supplanted be.</span><br /> +Yet, as jealous as a mother,<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">A suspicious, cankered churl,</span><br /> +I look vainly for the setting,<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">To be worthy such a pearl!</span><br /> +</div> + +<div class="blockquot"><p><span class="smcap">Note.</span>—This charming little gem is not original, being +gleaned from the pages of Putnam's Magazine. As +it was there published anonymously, the author is unable +to make any further acknowledgment.</p></div> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /><p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_90" id="Page_90">[90]</a></span></p> +<h2>POSTSCRIPT TO THE THREE STORIES.</h2> + +<h3>BY THE OLD BACHELOR.</h3> + + +<p><span class="smcap">When</span> I had finished copying out +the stories of the Big Boy and the Fat +Gentleman last summer, the thought +struck me that, as I had been in town +all the warm bright June weather, it +would do my health a great deal of +good to take a trip to Long Branch. +Of course, it was not to see Neighbor +Nelly—certainly not.</p> + +<p>So, the very next Saturday afternoon +I dusted up my valise, and put +some nice cool summer clothes in it,<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_91" id="Page_91">[91]</a></span> +and a great paper of candy, which I +meant for my little neighbors, in case +I should see them by accident! Somebody +had told me that the Mansion +House was the best hotel to stop at. +Shall I tell you why? Because there +was a party there, of a papa and +mamma, a dear little girl and boy, +and a remarkably nice little toy terrier, +which would put me in mind very +much of some friends of mine called +Lawson. In fact, this family was +called Lawson, too, and the younger +members were christened Nelly and +Jimmy! Comical, wasn't it?</p> + +<p>If you have never been to Long +Branch, you can't think what a pleasant +sail it is down the Bay in the +"Thomas Collyer," and how much I<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_92" id="Page_92">[92]</a></span> +enjoyed my trip. The pleasant shores +of Long and Staten Islands (<i>I</i> used to +live on Staten Island, and had some +comical times there, which I mean to +write out one of these days) looked +as verdant and beautiful as ever; the +sea was as blue as a bluebottle fly, +and the sun as light as a cork! As I +looked at the great, rolling waves, I +laughed to myself, thinking what nice +times we were going to have in bathing; +ducking under them, when they +came roaring along the shore after us, +as if they meant to gobble us up, and +bouncing out again when they had +passed, all dripping and laughing, and +ready for the next one to play the +same trick on us. Sometimes, to be +sure, the waves play too rough, and<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_93" id="Page_93">[93]</a></span> +knock you off your feet without "by +your leave;" or a little crab will walk +up and bite your toes, just by way of +welcoming you to Long Branch; but +nobody minds it. Bless you!—that +only makes it more fun to go in +bathing!</p> + +<p>Well, the boat stopped at the pier, +which extends a quarter of a mile from +the shore, putting one in mind of a +long crab's claw stuck out for "shake +hands" by old Neptune; and I jumped +into the cars and was bounced and +rattled along to Long Branch. As it +was Saturday afternoon, a great crowd +of people were going there with me, +and, deary me! when <i>I</i> came to the +Mansion House, there wasn't any room +left for me! Wasn't it too bad? Just<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_94" id="Page_94">[94]</a></span> +when I had fixed to have such a nice +time with my dear little friends! It +would never do to go away, however, +so I said: "Well, never mind, Mr. +Mansion House—that is, Mr. Neighbor +Nelly—dear me!—Mr. Laird, I +can do without a room; and at night +you can put me to sleep in the pigeon +house, or the hen coop, or under the +counter of the office, or up the chimney, +I don't care which; but go away +I can't!"</p> + +<p>Now, I expect, Mr. Laird must +have known I had come to see Neighbor +Nelly, and what a disappointment +it would be not to get in; for after a +consultation with his bookkeeper, he +told me he could give me a room after +all! and I was so glad, that I offered<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_95" id="Page_95">[95]</a></span> +him my snuff box immediately, which +is a favor I only grant to very nice +people!</p> + +<p>So up stairs I hurried, to get ready +for tea, in high good humor, and, +would you believe it, when I came +down again, whose table should I be +put to sit at, but Neighbor Nelly's? +Oh, how surprised and pleased she was +to see me! and Jimmy and his father +and mother were just as glad. There +was famous "clam chowder" for tea, +and such great big blackberries, that +we really had to make two bites of +them! not to mention the quantities +of other good things; and after tea +we strolled out on the bluff, which +overlooks the ocean. There are three +pretty little summer houses before the<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_96" id="Page_96">[96]</a></span> +Mansion House, and in one of these +we took our seats. Gipsey had come +scampering up to me in delighted recognition +as we left the dining room, +barking and wagging his tail, until I +should think both his tail and his bark +would have been quite out of joint.</p> + +<p>"Oh, Neighbor Oldbird, I'm so glad +you have come," began Nelly, eagerly; +"we have been having such fun, +and, now you are here, it will be nicer +than ever."</p> + +<p>"Do you and Jimmy go in bathing?" +I asked.</p> + +<p>"I guess we do!" cried Jimmy. +"We rush into the water first of anybody, +and go out real deep, when we +have hold of the ropes. Some great +big boys are as afraid as anything!<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_97" id="Page_97">[97]</a></span> +But we like to have the waves go +over our heads."</p> + +<p>"Talking about big boys," said I, +looking wonderfully sly, "I made the +acquaintance of a big boy in our +street, not long ago, who knows a +certain little lady very well; and likes +her very well, too!"</p> + +<p>"Oh, I know!" chimed both the +children; "it's Tom Halstead. Isn't +it?"</p> + +<p>"Yes; he told me something funny +about you, too; I did not know you +could wash windows before, Neighbor +Nelly."</p> + +<p>My little neighbor laughed and +blushed comically when I said that, +and then Jimmy said:</p> + +<p>"He's a first rate fellow, I tell you.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_98" id="Page_98">[98]</a></span> +He sent us a letter the other day, and +what do you think? he's coming +here!"</p> + +<p>"Coming here!" I exclaimed; +"my stars! I shall be quite thrown in +the shade when such a nice friend +makes his appearance. I think I shall +have to go home again Monday, and +I did mean to stay till Wednesday," +and I made up a dismal face, and pretended +to be quite heart-broken.</p> + +<p>"No, indeed, Neighbor Oldbird! +we shall always like you the best!" +cried Nelly, catching both my hands +in hers. "He is a very nice boy, to be +sure, but we like <i>you</i> just as much as +if you were our bachelor uncle."</p> + +<p>"Then I move to be called Uncle +Josiah directly!" I said, laughing;<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_99" id="Page_99">[99]</a></span> +"so, my dear niece and nephew, don't +you think it would be a good plan for +us to go down on that nice yellow +sand there, and look at the waves?"</p> + +<p>The children were delighted with +this plan, so we all three walked to +the steep wooden steps that lead from +the bluff to the beach below, and were +soon on the sands. Gipsey came racing +after as usual, and in his haste to +join us, ran so fast down the steps, +that he couldn't stop himself, but had +to bring up on the sand past the +water mark, looking comically astonished. +To put a finishing touch to his +misfortunes, a great big wave came +tumbling in just then, and over poor +Gipsey it went! sousing him head and +ears! It frightened him so much that<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_100" id="Page_100">[100]</a></span> +he rushed dripping wet to Neighbor +Nelly, and jumped into her lap, squealing +dismally. Such a perfect shower-bath +of cold salt water as rained all +over her pretty muslin dress, and trim +little gaiters and stockings! We had +to shake her well, and put Gipsey to +bed on a sandhill near us, where he +went to sleep, and, I hope, forgot his +miseries.</p> + +<p>Perhaps you don't know it, but the +sand is a famous place to write your +name. You go as near the retreating +wave as you dare, and then, with a +walking stick or an umbrella, or your +finger, if nothing better is to be had, +write your name, or draw a hideous +spook on the wet sand. You have to +be quick about it, too; for just as you<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_101" id="Page_101">[101]</a></span> +are putting the finishing touches to +the work, another great billow is sure +to come tearing at you, with a wide, +deep hollow of emerald green, and +foaming crest, looking like molten silver +in the moonlight. Crash! it falls +on the beach; and a long rush of foam +slides up the sand as you scamper out +of reach, not always without a wet +shoe or two. Now the water has all +run back, but where is the writing? +The sand is smooth once more, and +ready, like a great blackboard, to be +marked on anew. So the sea is always +clearing your writing book for +you, and giving you a chance to begin +again and see how long it will last!</p> + +<p>I should think we wrote "Nelly," +"Jimmy," and "Neighbor Oldbird,"<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_102" id="Page_102">[102]</a></span> +about fifty times each on the sand, +with my walking stick; and then we +"hung Jeff. Davis on a sour apple +tree," and depicted him with Old +Spookey coming after him, and told +the Atlantic Ocean, "We like blue +fish," and "We're going in bathing +Monday," and never succeeded in +keeping one of our achievements +more than half a minute.</p> + +<p>We stayed down on the delightful +beach until nearly half-past nine; and, +dear me, what a heap of sand we got +in our shoes! It was quite wonderful +how it contrived to work its way in; +but there it was, making us lift up +our feet as heavily as though we had +cannon balls tied to our ankles.</p> + +<p>But it was getting late, and high<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_103" id="Page_103">[103]</a></span> +time for small people to be off to +bed; so, with a shake of the hand +from one of my little neighbors, and a +"good kiss" from the other, I don't +say <i>which</i>, Gipsey was waked up, and +they all trotted off together.</p> + +<p>Next morning was Sunday, and a +beautiful sunshiny day. The first +thing I did when I woke up, was to +pop my head out of the window and +take a look at the ocean. There it +was, as beautiful as ever, and now I +found out a funny thing about Long +Branch that I hadn't noticed the +evening before. "Why," said I, "is it +possible I am in the country? Where +are the trees?" They were nowhere +to be seen, not so much as a bush; +while the flowers were represented<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_104" id="Page_104">[104]</a></span> +by everybody's bathing dresses hanging +over all the fences, and on ever +so many clothes-lines besides, to dry. +The fact is, that the Atlantic Ocean is +determined to let nothing be admired +but itself; so it will not permit a tree +to grow any nearer its shores than +half a mile. So all the foliage there +consists of the direful old bathing +dresses, flapping in the wind and looking +like so many scarecrows put up +to frighten off the fishhawks.</p> + +<p>In the morning we went to the +cunning little Episcopal church, and +listened to the earnest teachings of +the noble young rector, who is working +so bravely in his Master's cause +with such poor earthly reward. That +he is laying up treasure where "neither<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_105" id="Page_105">[105]</a></span> +moth nor rust doth corrupt," we cannot +but believe. We did not like to +leave the quiet little church for the +great noisy hotels, in one of which, as +we passed it, they were <i>playing billiards</i>. +Oh! what an occupation for +God's holy day! I cannot believe they +were Christians who were playing, but +I know I wanted to go and beg them +to stop.</p> + +<p>In the afternoon it clouded up, and +began to rain very hard; so we could +not go to church, and as it was very +little like Sunday in the crowded hall +and parlor, Mrs. Lawson proposed we +should all come and sit in her room, +which opened on one of the upper +piazzas. So we established ourselves +here, where it was quiet and cool,<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_106" id="Page_106">[106]</a></span> +very glad to escape from the bustle +down stairs.</p> + +<p>"Suppose you were to repeat that +pretty German hymn I gave you the +other day," said her mother to Nelly. +"Perhaps Mr. Oldbird would like to +hear it."</p> + +<p>"Yes, that I should," I said; so +Nelly began the beautiful verses +called—</p> + + +<div class='center'>"ALL THERE."</div> + +<div class='poem'> +"Nothing is lost; the treasures which the ocean<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1.5em;">Hath taken to itself in ages fled,</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 0.5em;">The lives that rest beneath its ceaseless motion</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1.5em;">Until 'the sea shall render up its dead:'</span><br /> +<br /> +"The dew drops that the warm bright sunshine drieth,<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1.5em;">The cloud that melts away in summer air,</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 0.5em;">The bud that lifteth its sweet head—and dieth,</span><br /> +<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_107" id="Page_107">[107]</a></span><span style="margin-left: 1.5em;">They are not lost—God keeps them in his care.</span><br /> +<br /> +"Nothing is lost; the anguish of the mourner,<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">And bitter tears that fall like solemn rain,</span><br /> +Are safely stored within the heavenly garner,<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">Till Christ shall come unto his own again.</span><br /> +<br /> +"And our beloved ones that Death doth gather<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1.5em;">To their calm, dreamless sleep beneath the tomb,</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 0.5em;">Like tender flowers, are cherished by the Father</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1.5em;">In the celestial fields of Heaven to bloom.</span><br /> +<br /> +"Nothing is lost; oh, let the promise cheer us;<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1.5em;">By God himself to weary mortals given;</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 0.5em;">Our darling ones shall soon again be near us,</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1.5em;">Our hopes shall bloom, unfadingly, in Heaven."</span><br /> +</div> + +<p>"I think that is the best hymn I +know," added Nelly, when she had +finished. "Now, what shall we do?"</p> + +<p>"Let's play church!" suggested +Jimmy.</p> + +<p>"Oh yes! that's the very thing!" +said Nelly. "Suppose we ask Kitty +and Robby Morris to come in."<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_108" id="Page_108">[108]</a></span></p> + +<p>So Kitty and Robby were found, +and consented to join the play, which +straightway began; mamma and I +looking on, though we made believe +not to be taking notice, for fear of +disturbing the little visitors.</p> + +<p>Robby, who was a dear little fellow, +only five years old, with long +golden curls and great blue eyes, was +the minister, at his own special request. +The children dressed him in a +long white sack of Mrs. Lawson's by +way of a gown, and gave him a small +table for a pulpit. The others, with +Gipsey, and a large gray cat, the +property of Robby and Kitty, which +marched in after them, were the congregation, +sitting on the edge of the +bed, to be like the long church pew.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_109" id="Page_109">[109]</a></span> +The minister took for his text, "Little +children, love one another," and his sermon +was such a dear, funny little discourse, +that I must write it down for you.</p> + +<p>"Now, my dear peoples," he said, +"I hope, whenever you feel like karrelling,<a name="FNanchor_A_1" id="FNanchor_A_1"></a><a href="#Footnote_A_1" class="fnanchor">[A]</a> +or being as cross as bears, +you will 'member what the Bible says +'bout loving one another. Gipsey +fighted my tat to-day, and pulled +some of her fur out; but he's only a +dog, and I readed in my Dr. Watts—</p> + +<div class='poem'> +"Let dogs delight to bark and bite,<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1.5em;">For God has made 'em so;</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 0.5em;">Let bears and lions growl and fight,</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1.5em;">For 'tis their nature too.</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 0.5em;">But, children, <i>you</i> s'ould <i>never</i> let</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1.5em;">Your angry <i>pass'ons</i> rise!</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 0.5em;">Your little hands were <i>never</i> made</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1.5em;">To sc'atch each other's eyes."</span><br /> +</div> +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_110" id="Page_110">[110]</a></span></p> + +<div class='unindent'>——so I was not mad at him, 'cause +he didn't <i>know</i> he ought to love +pussy.</div> + +<p>"I <i>s'apped</i> nurse the other day, +'cause she made me come out of the +water before I wanted to, and <i>that</i> +was <i>very</i> naughty; I begged her pardon, +though, and gave her a piece of +my <i>tandy</i>, that papa had brought me. +Now, my dear peoples, I think that is +long enough. S'pose we sing, 'I want +to be an angel.'"</p> + +<div class="figleft" style="width: 364px;"> +<img src="images/i007.jpg" width="364" height="600" alt="PLAYING CHURCH." title="" /> +<span class="caption">PLAYING CHURCH.</span> +</div> + +<p>Wasn't that a cunning little sermon? +It put me in mind of how I +used to play church in my childhood, +long ago; when my young brother, +dear little Davy, would stand on a +chair, while I sat on my stool at his +feet, and preach a sermon something<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_111" id="Page_111">[111]</a></span> +like Robby's. Darling Davy! I fancied +I could see his sweet face and +earnest eyes looking down at me, +from his happy home in heaven that +Sunday afternoon; for he closed those +dark eyes on this weary earth many +long years since, and I never think +of him now but as standing on the +chair in our father's study (with, perhaps, +mother looking in, unknown to +him), and preaching from some simple +text that we knew and loved, in +quaint, yet childish words. Ah, well! +perhaps it was better so, than that he +should have lived to be a gray-headed +old bachelor like "brother Jose!"</p> + +<p>So the children all sang the hymn, +and that was the end of church. We +passed the rest of the afternoon telling<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_112" id="Page_112">[112]</a></span> +Bible stories, and repeating hymns, +and after tea it was clear once more, +and dry enough to go out on the bluff.</p> + +<p>You may be sure, we were all in +famous spirits Monday morning, and +ready for any sort of a frolic. Who +could help being good humored with +such company as my little neighbors? +Mr. Lawson left us in the first train +for the city; but, to make up, who +should have come down in the early +morning boat, but Tom Halstead and +Miss Elsie Bluejay—or Brandlaw, I +ought to say, since I know her name +now; and they drove straight up to +the Mansion House, of course—who +wouldn't, when Neighbor Nelly was +there? The children received Tom +with shouts of joy; and he looked so<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_113" id="Page_113">[113]</a></span> +handsome and happy, and his great +black eyes sparkled so with good humor +and fun, that I felt quite ready to +admit him into my circle of little people +that I knew and loved. Neighbor +Nelly and he were an admirable contrast +in point of appearance, and I +shouldn't be surprised if the last remark +made to me in strict confidence, +by my friend Tom in his account of +her, should come true some day.</p> + +<p>I wish I could sketch a little picture +of our party as we clustered together +on the piazza, to show what +manner of people we were then; and +another, of our appearance in the +water afterward. Ten o'clock was the +hour for bathing that morning; so +we each armed ourselves with our<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_114" id="Page_114">[114]</a></span> +bathing clothes and a prodigious +towel, like the main sail of a fishing +smack, and rushed down to the beach; +that is, the younger members; Aunt +Elsie, Mrs. Lawson, and I walked soberly +along. Then we popped into +separate bathing houses, still looking +like respectable and responsible +members of society, and popped out +five minutes afterward—scarecrows! +spooks! animated rag-bags! with the +last vestige of our gentility and good +looks departed.</p> + +<p>Aunt Elsie had taken leave of a +most beautiful brown "front" and +fourteen luxuriant curls, the absence +of which gave her an appearance very +like a staid bald-headed owl; particularly +as she would keep on her very<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_115" id="Page_115">[115]</a></span> +round spectacles, and wore a pair of +extremely long-fingered green cotton +gloves. The long ends of the glove +fingers, waving about in the water, +were not unlike the owl's claws; +while her gray woollen bathing dress +might have passed for a new sort of +flannel feathers. A mortified blue sunbonnet, +with all the canes out, was +perched lop-sided on her head, and +she wore a pair of bathing shoes, like +brown poultices. The rest of us were +just as bad, though; I was an ogre in +green flannel, Tom and Jimmy monkeys +in red, Mrs. Lawson tolerably +lady-like in blue, with white tape +trimmings, and Neighbor Nelly a +ridiculous little old jumping Jenny in +white, with gorgeous red facings; and<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_116" id="Page_116">[116]</a></span> +all in hats that defied our best friends +to know us in.</p> + +<p>How we laughed at each other, +and then made haste over the sand, +which was so hot that it nearly +scorched our feet, and plumped into +the nice cool ocean, where ever so +many other frights were already hopping +about.</p> + +<p>Now for a rush into the deep water! +here comes a big wave! down, +down now! and over our heads it +went! dousing us as it had Gipsey +the Saturday night, only we didn't +squeal.</p> + +<p>Presently, some people who had +come from the next hotel, began +dancing the "Lancers" in the water, +ducking under instead of bowing, and<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_117" id="Page_117">[117]</a></span> +seeming to have such a good time, +that nothing would suit the children +but that they must begin dancing, +too; in consequence of which a wave +twice as high as usual came roaring +up, and carried Neighbor Nelly right +off her feet. Under the water she +went, and for an instant we were +quite frightened; but presently up she +popped laughing, and trying to squeeze +the salt water out of her eyes.</p> + +<p>However, that put a stop to the +dancing; and here let me tell you, +that surf bathing is always a pretty +venturesome thing to attempt, unless +you grasp the ropes firmly, or have +hold of some older and stronger person's +hand.</p> + +<p>There was one gentleman flourishing<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_118" id="Page_118">[118]</a></span> +about near us, who seemed bent +upon trying how many odd things he +could do in the water. Presently we +saw him going down head first, and +then his feet coming up in the air like +a duck's! It looked so comical to see +any one besides a duck standing upside +down in the water, that we all +burst out laughing, and just then along +came another billow, and treated us +each to a mouthful of salt water!</p> + +<p>By this time we had been in long +enough for one day, for you should +always remember to come out before +you feel chilled, and so we waded to +the shore, looking more outlandish +than ever, now the bathing dresses +were all soaked, and hurried into the +houses to get dry and dressed.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_119" id="Page_119">[119]</a></span></p> + +<p>Surf bathing is a famous thing to +give you an appetite; and I don't +wonder Mr. Laird provides so bountiful +and well cooked a dinner, when +I think of the famishing five hundred +people that were to be fed the day I +was there, and every day beside. The +"Charge of the Light Brigade" was +nothing to the charge we made upon +the dishes; and as the dining room is +sensibly arranged with tables accommodating +about a dozen people each, +we all sat together; and had such a +merry time that two or three cross old +dames looked sharply at our party, +very curious to know what all the +laughing was about. Our small friend +Gipsey was the cause of it, partly, for +he posted himself beside each of our<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_120" id="Page_120">[120]</a></span> +chairs in turn, and made such surprising +and despairing hops and skips after +bits of chicken held up beyond his +reach, that he very nearly turned a +somerset each time.</p> + +<p>We rewarded his patience at last +by giving him some bones, which he +crunched under the table with perfect +satisfaction, while we were discussing +the ice cream and other good +things.</p> + +<p>In the afternoon I was sitting +reading the paper on the upper piazza, +and the children were amusing themselves +in their own fashion near me. +Nelly, with another little girl, whose +name seemed to be "Baby," for they +never called her anything else, were +manufacturing a resplendent doll's dress<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_121" id="Page_121">[121]</a></span> +for a waxen angel in a white spencer—or +whatever those muslin concerns are +called, which the ladies wear with colored +skirts nowadays, and a black velvet +pointed belt; while the boys, with +their arms fraternally entwined, were +interchanging confidences on the important +subjects of "My peg top," +"Don't you think thirty-eight cents is +a tremendous price for kites?" "How +many glass agates have you got?" +and so on—when Tom, looking very +mischievous, suddenly lifted up dolly +by the toe of her shoe, and asked, +"Why, Nelly, what's the matter with +this doll; has she got the spinal complaint?"</p> + +<p>"No, you goose," said Nelly, laughing. +"What makes you ask that?"<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_122" id="Page_122">[122]</a></span></p> + +<p>"Because she has on a supporter," +said Tom, with perfect gravity, pointing +to the velvet belt. "Poor thing! +why don't you take her in bathing? +It would do her health good, I'm +sure; she looks fearfully pale."</p> + +<p>"Ah, make him put her down, +Nelly," said Baby; "he'll break her +if he goes on so;" for Tom was now +amusing himself by balancing dolly on +her head in his hand, making a great +display of embroidered trowsers and +hoop petticoats; and now, catching +her by both hands, he suddenly swung +her over the railing. "This is the way +she ought to be ducked under the +waves!" he added. Nelly sprang forward +at the same moment with an +"Oh, Tom! please!" and caught his<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_123" id="Page_123">[123]</a></span> +arm rather suddenly. His hold relaxed +at the same moment, and crash! +down tumbled poor dolly on the +ground below, breaking one of her +wax arms completely off, and making +a fearful cavity in her forehead, which +killed her completely! that is, I should +think so. I never heard of any one +who survived fracture of the skull. +Did you?</p> + +<p>Poor Nelly! She tried hard not +to mind it; but dolly's head was one +too many for her, and the tears came +rolling quickly down her cheeks as she +gazed at the unfortunate waxen damsel +below, with quivering lip. Tom +turned red and white alternately in +silence for a moment, and then began +pouring forth apologies and regrets.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_124" id="Page_124">[124]</a></span> +He called himself all the imps that +ever were heard of for being so careless; +he offered to go to New York +that very day to buy another doll, +and have his hair well pulled beside, +if she only would forgive him, and say +she didn't think he had done it on +purpose; and, in short, we had quite +a little scene; when, fortunately, there +occurred to me a pleasant means of +diverting the minds of the party from +the accident that had happened. So I +laid down my paper, as though I had +not been listening, and said:</p> + +<p>"Well, little people, I believe I +have discovered all the news there is; +so what do you say to coming to a +party I am thinking of giving in my +room?"<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_125" id="Page_125">[125]</a></span></p> + +<p>"A party!" cried the children, +dropping the subject of the doll to +look at me; "why, we should like +that very much. What sort of a party +is it?"</p> + +<p>"A reading party," I answered. +"I have some papers I have been +thinking of reading to you, to get +your opinion of them before I put +them in a book; and I shouldn't be +surprised if there was a paper of candy +in my drawer besides."</p> + +<p>"Why, do you write books?" +asked Baby, opening her bright eyes +very wide indeed, as if to be certain +what a real live author looked like.</p> + +<p>"To be sure I do," I said, laughing. +"Funny stories, and sad ones, +too; and some that are every word<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_126" id="Page_126">[126]</a></span> +of them true, and others that are told +me by my friends; and you shall tell +me whether they are true or not."</p> + +<p>So we all made haste into my room—not +the same I had when I first +came, but one on the front piazza, +near Neighbor Nelly's. The papers I +meant were my own, Tom's, and the +Fat Gentleman's stories, which I had +brought down with me, to look over +and correct. The candy I had bought +for Nelly and Jimmy, as I told you, +and forgotten all about to that moment. +Little Robby came trotting +along just then, so we asked him to be +of the party; and Mrs. Lawson, looking +out to see why we were in such a +bustle, made up the <ins title="Transcriber's Note: original reads 'copmany'">company</ins>.</p> + +<p>I wish you could have been at Our<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_127" id="Page_127">[127]</a></span> +Party that afternoon. We made a +cosey little group, I assure you. Mrs. +Lawson sat by the table with her sewing; +Tom established himself close to +my chair, and Nelly nestled by my +other side. Baby and Jimmy sat on +hassocks, contrived from carpet bags, +at my feet; dear little Robby was lifted +to my knee, and the reading began. +Oh, the laughter, and comical wonder, +and blushes, when my little neighbors +found the stories were about them! +Nelly burst out with "Oh, Neighbor +Oldbird!" and hid her face on my +shoulder every time there was some +special praise of herself. Tom turned +perfectly crimson when we came to +his story, and was in and out of his +seat twenty times, begging me to stop,<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_128" id="Page_128">[128]</a></span> +during its progress, his splendid black +eyes glancing appealingly at me and +Nelly by turns. I wouldn't spare him +a single word, however; and when I +came to his declaration at the end, +concerning Nelly, there was a general +shout of laughter.</p> + +<p>"There's an eligible offer for you, +Miss Nell," I said solemnly. "You'd +better take it into consideration!" +and so on, until Mrs. Lawson begged +me to stop. She did not like to have +ideas about marriage put into the children's +heads; and I, when I reflected, +was very sorry I had been so thoughtless. +Tom bore my teasing manfully; +but Nelly's face was rather grave, as +if she did not like such remarks to +be made about her; so I hurried on<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_129" id="Page_129">[129]</a></span> +to the Fat Gentleman's story, and +brought up at the end, and then +handed round the candy, amid general +approbation.</p> + +<p>How we all passed that evening +together on the beach, and had a +wildly happy time; how we went in +bathing the next day, and the next; +and how, on Wednesday afternoon, I +bid a most reluctant good-by to my +little neighbors, I have not room to +tell. I want to write how gladly we +met again in the city in the fall; how +Tom did come to live in New York, +and favored us with his company as +often as possible; how we chanced +again on the little girl whom we had +met in the toy shop, and found her +living in a wretched tenement house<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_130" id="Page_130">[130]</a></span> +in Cherry street, whence Mr. Lawson +and I, with some other friends, removed +them in haste, and established +them in a nice little thread-needle +store on one of the business avenues +not far from our street; but all this +would take too long.</p> + +<p>I must say, though, what a blessed +change it has been for them, particularly +for poor little crippled Clara, +who never fails to greet us with a +smile when we go there to see her, as +she sits in her comfortable arm-chair +by the window, with her pet spaniel +"Dandy" beside her. She is always +contented and cheerful, in spite of the +sharp pain that often racks her slender +limbs; and as I look on her pale +face, which is so plainly not long for<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_131" id="Page_131">[131]</a></span> +this earth, and think that now her +suffering life will end amid comfort +and peace, I whisper to myself with a +heart full of love, "All this through +thy sweet influence, dear</p> + +<div class='center'> +"<span class="smcap">Neighbor Nelly!</span>"<br /><br /></div> + + +<div class="footnotes"><h3>FOOTNOTE:</h3> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_A_1" id="Footnote_A_1"></a><a href="#FNanchor_A_1"><span class="label">[A]</span></a> Quarrelling.</p></div> +</div> + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /><p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_132" id="Page_132">[132]</a></span></p> +<h2>CONCLUSION.</h2> + + +<p><span class="smcap">And</span> that was the end of the famous +Sock Stories, which had afforded +George and Helen so much amusement +during nearly three months; for +it took all that time for Aunt Fanny's +daughter to write, and the children to +read them all. They could not tell +which they liked the best; for it so +happened that the "Funny Little +Socks" made their appearance just at +the time when some dear little cousins +of theirs, only four or five years old, +had come to spend a week or two +with them, which made baby stories<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_133" id="Page_133">[133]</a></span> +doubly welcome; and I don't know +what the good and delightful gentleman +to whom the fifth book is dedicated +will say about it, when he sees +his name at the front; but it was +thought very appropriate by Helen's +papa; as the very best story in the +book is all about philosophers, grave +and gay.</p> + +<p>One thing in particular I am most +happy to record; and that is, that +the good habits which keeping mamma's +little code of rules had engendered, +were not broken off at the close +of the readings; but instead, were +formed more lastingly with every +week; until now every one who +knows George and Helen says, the first +thing, "What good children they are!<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_134" id="Page_134">[134]</a></span> +and yet, they never have to be +whipped, or shut up in a dark closet +to make them so." No! they are good +from a higher motive than the dread +of punishment; for they are inspired +with the sincere desire to make their +dear mother as happy as they can; +and it would not surprise me at all if +Santa Claus, who is a very discerning +old gentleman, were to put something +very nice indeed in both socks and +stockings this Christmas—in spite of +the hard times!</p> + +<p>And now, one last word, before +Aunt Fanny's daughter bids you good-by, +little reader. She hopes and prays, +in all sincerity, that she has succeeded +not only in amusing you, but in giving +you some lessons which will sink into<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_135" id="Page_135">[135]</a></span> +your hearts for your real good. And +if in the shadowy train of personages +who have moved before you in these +Sock Stories, there is one who has +pleased you especially, from Colonel +Freddy and little tender-hearted Greta, +to Little Mother and the Old +Bachelor, Neighbor Nelly, with her +bright eyes and merry ways, or Gipsey, +of the cork-screw tail and yap! +yap! bark, the knowledge of this fact +will give <i>her</i> what she wishes for you +all, a very</p> + +<div class='center'> +<span class="smcap">Merry Christmas!</span><br /> +</div> + + +<div class='center'><br /><br /> +THE END OF THE SIXTH AND LAST BOOK.<br /> +</div> +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<div class='tnote'><h3>Transcriber's Notes:</h3> +<p>Obvious punctuation errors repaired.</p> +<p>The remaining corrections made are indicated by dotted lines under the corrections. Scroll the mouse over the word and the original text will <ins title="Transcriber's Note: original reads 'apprear'">appear</ins>.</p></div> + + + + + + + + +<pre> + + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Neighbor Nelly Socks, by Sarah L. 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Barrow + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: Neighbor Nelly Socks + Being the Sixth and Last Book of the Series + +Author: Sarah L. Barrow + +Release Date: August 3, 2009 [EBook #29597] + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ASCII + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK NEIGHBOR NELLY SOCKS *** + + + + +Produced by David Edwards, Emmy and the Online Distributed +Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net (This file was +produced from images generously made available by The +Internet Archive) + + + + + + + + +[Illustration: OUR PARTY.] + + + + +THE SOCK STORIES, + +BY "AUNT FANNY'S" DAUGHTER. + +NEIGHBOR NELLY SOCKS: + +BEING + +THE SIXTH AND LAST BOOK OF THE SERIES. + +BY + +"AUNT FANNY'S" DAUGHTER, + +THE AUTHOR OF "THE LITTLE WHITE ANGEL." + + NEW YORK: + LEAVITT & ALLEN, 21 & 23 MERCER ST. + 1863. + + ENTERED, according to Act of Congress, in the year 1862, by + S. L. BARROW, + + In the Clerk's Office of the District Court of the United States + for the + Southern District of New York. + + + JOHN F. TROW, + PRINTER, STEREOTYPER, AND ELECTROTYPER, + 50 Greene Street, New York. + + + + + TO + + MY DEAR FATHER, + + TO WHOSE KINDLY AND CHARMING WAYS WITH THE + + "LITTLE FOLK" + + I OWE THE CHARACTER OF "NEIGHBOR OLDBIRD," + + THIS BOOK + + IS LOVINGLY DEDICATED. + + + + +CONTEXTS OF VOL. VI. + + PAGE + + NEIGHBOR NELLY. IN THREE STORIES. + + 1. THE OLD BACHELOR'S STORY, 7 + + 2. THE BIG BOY'S STORY, 45 + + 3. THE FAT GENTLEMAN'S STORY, 86 + + POSTSCRIPT BY THE OLD BACHELOR, 90 + + CONCLUSION, 132 + + + + +NEIGHBOR NELLY. + +IN THREE STORIES. + + + + +THE OLD BACHELOR'S STORY. + + +IN the city block where I live, there are just twenty-four houses on the +other side of the street, and twenty-four on this side, six lamp posts, +and eight ailanthus trees in green boxes. Oh, dear me, what a tiresome +row! That's what I thought when I first came to lodge here; for, as I am +an old bachelor, I don't want a whole house to myself; but now, when I +sit at my window and look out at the street, I find no end of things to +amuse and interest me; particularly when the gas is lighted of an +evening, and I can see a little way into the parlors of the opposite +neighbors. I suppose they know that an old bachelor like Josiah Oldbird +can do no harm by looking on at their evening amusements; so they do not +pull the blinds down if they chance to see me, sitting lonely at my +window, and willing to accept such crumbs of their society and happiness +as I can glean over the way. + +First, then, is the family at No. 7, three maiden sisters and a bachelor +brother. As I don't in the least know their names, I have dubbed them +the Bluejays, because the three maiden sisters always wear blue merino +gowns in winter, and blue muslin ones in summer; and because they are +all so fond of singing that no family of birds could be more musical. +They have a pet poodle and a pet squirrel, too. The poodle is very fat, +and his hair sticks out so much all over him, that he looks perpetually +astonished, as if he had just seen a spook. He always stands on the +window sill, when the sash is raised of an afternoon, and glares into +the street until he sees the bachelor brother coming. Then he achieves a +series of frantic yells and bounces, until somebody comes to open the +door and lets him out, when he waddles to the front steps to meet his +master, wagging his tail to that tremendous extent, that it looks like +the shuttle of a steam power loom. + +The squirrel is slim and sleek, and seems to enjoy life amazingly, he +hops about so. When one of the Miss Bluejays takes him in her arms, he +won't stay there, but gets away, and walks all over her head and +shoulders; and at last runs down her back and disappears. + +Then, at No. 11, a very fat gentleman lives with his fat and pretty +wife, and round dumpling of a baby. As I don't know him either, I call +him Mr. Fatty, and he seems to be a "good-natured giant." I saw a little +boy actually stop short to stare at him the other day, when he was +sitting out at his front door--he is such a regular roly-poly of a +gentleman--but he only laughed good-temperedly, and never got vexed in +the least. I don't advise you to try this with all fat gentlemen though; +they might accidentally sit down on a chair--where you were--afterward, +and that would be the last of you. This piece of advice, however, is a +great secret between you and me! + +[Illustration] + +He is so glad to meet the fat baby when he comes home at night, that I +can see him in the parlor first kissing it almost black and blue, and +then tossing it up in the air until I feel as though its head must come +bump against the ceiling, but it doesn't--and at last, carrying it off +perched on his shoulder, and looking very much perturbed in its spirits. + +But the pleasantest neighbors of all live exactly opposite, at No. 9. +They take tea every evening in the back parlor; and as the front window +shades are up, and only the back room lighted, I can always see them at +their cheerful meal. The rooms are furnished in winter with dark red +velvet carpets and furniture; with red damask curtains and red velvet +paper hangings. In summer they put up white curtains, and carpets and +furniture have cool, cream-colored linen coverings, so that the parlors +look cozy and charming at all seasons. + +As for the family there is a papa and mamma, of course, and a dear +little girl and boy. The little girl is about ten years old, I should +think, with great, dark-blue eyes, and curling auburn hair. Her cheeks +are as rosy as ripe peaches, and her teeth as white as so many pearls. +Her nose does turn up at the end a little, to be sure; but that is +rather saucy and becoming than otherwise; and she always looks so sweet +tempered, and full of fun, too, when I see her of an evening, that I am +sure she is as good as pie, and as merry as a cricket! Her little +brother, who is a year or two younger, looks very much like her, and +their obedient and pretty behavior at table is something really +beautiful to observe. + +It is nearly a year now, since I moved into my lodging at "No. 10," and +began to wonder what No. 9's name was; and now I must make haste and +tell you how, only last June, I became acquainted with these dear little +neighbors of mine. + +One pleasant Friday morning, after breakfast, I put on my old-fashioned +beaver hat, and taking my gold-headed cane in one hand and my market +basket in the other, I trotted out to buy something nice for dinner; +for, you see, I am a particular old bachelor, and like to market for +myself. + +Just as I was coming down the steps, the door of No. 9 opened, and the +little girl ran down _her_ steps. She looked so bright and pretty in her +cunning round straw hat with the blue ribbons, and white Marseilles +cloak, carrying her satchel of books and lunch basket in her hand, that +I could not help nodding to her. So she nodded to me, and then _I_ +nodded again and smiled, and we each walked along on our own side of the +way. When we came to the corner I thought I would cross over and scrape +some more acquaintance with my little neighbor. Now on the side of her +satchel, I saw, when I came near her, was printed in gold letters, +"Nelly Lawson;" so I said, as cheerily as I could, in my old, quavering +voice: + +"Good morning, Neighbor Nelly!" + +The little maiden looked up in my face in a shy fashion at first; but +when she saw what a mild, gray-headed old bachelor had bade her good +morning, she took courage, and answered, "Good morning, sir." + +"So you are going to school this fine day?" + +"Yes; I go to school, but brother Jimmy doesn't; he learns at home. I +think he is going next year. Have you got a baby at your house? We +have." + +"No," said I, sighing; "I haven't got any baby; I am an old bachelor. +Will you marry me?" + +"Oh, I am too little," she replied quite seriously. "You will have to +wait until I grow up to you." + +I laughed, and asked her, "Don't you want to go to market with me before +you go to school? There is plenty of time." + +"No," replied my little neighbor, firmly; "I can't go anywheres that +mamma does not know of." + +"That's right!" I said. "Don't do anything your mother would disapprove. +Well, Neighbor Nelly, since you won't go to market with me, I must go to +school with you; and tell your mother that Neighbor Josiah Oldbird would +like you to take a walk with him to-morrow; will you?" + +"Oh yes! that would be real nice!" said my little neighbor with a +joyous skip. + +By this time we were walking along hand in hand; and soon, seeing my +little neighbor look in at the window of the candy shop round the corner +from our street, I thought I would take her in and buy her some candy. +So in we marched, Nelly's great blue eyes dancing with pleased +expectation, and stood close by the counter, waiting for our turn to +come. There were a good many people in the candy shop, and we had to +wait some time; so, to amuse ourselves, Neighbor Nelly and I turned +round, and began looking at the funny folks near us. + +There was one very fat old country woman, who seemed to be buying +"quarter or pound," as she said, of every kind of candy in the shop. As +soon as the papers were handed to her she began eating out of them, and +before she left, I should think, she had eaten about two pounds of +candy. Besides the old woman, there were a great many little children, +who only wanted a penny's worth each; but they hesitated so long whether +to have "taffie" or "molasses," a lemon-candy horse, or a cinnamon-candy +trumpet, that they were the most troublesome customers of anybody. Then +there were several older boys and girls; some, I am sorry to say, +picking up a loose bit of candy every time the shopman turned away--as +if that were not stealing; and finally, there was Neighbor Nelly and I, +who did none of these things, but just looked on, and waited until the +shopman came to serve us. + +I bought some lemon candy, as clear as a bit of yellow glass, and some +pungent cinnamon, and delectable chocolate; and then I popped the papers +into Neighbor Nelly's satchel, and we hurried on to school. We had not +far to go now, and when we came to the house, my little new friend bid +me good-by, and thanked me so sweetly, that I went away quite a happy +old bachelor. + +In the evening I was looking out of my window as usual, when I saw the +servant girl come in to light the gas in the back parlor at No. 9, with +Neighbor Nelly and the little brother Jimmy behind her. While she was +setting the tea table, the children came running to the window, and both +nodded and smiled at me. Presently the little boy thrust both hands in +his pockets, and held them up crammed full of candy. "Thank you, Mr. Old +Bachelor!" he shouted; "we like you real well!" + +That made me real happy; for I am not a crabbed old bachelor by any +means. In a minute more their father came home; and as they all sat +around the pleasant tea table, I hope they talked of their lonely old +neighbor, who watched them from his window. + +The next morning, as I was reading the paper, in came the servant and +gave me the funniest little note! It was addressed on the outside, "To +my neighbor Oldbird," and ran thus: + + "MY DEAR NEIGHBOR: + + "Mamma says I may take a walk with you this + morning, because you are a good old bachelor. + Jimmy wants to go, and Gipsey. Gipsey is my dog. + He is black and tan, and his tail curls round so, + that papa says you might use it for a cork-screw. + Jimmy and I mean to try some time. Gipsey likes to + be on the seashore, and so does baby. We are going + there next week--to Long Branch. I hope you will + write me a letter when I am gone, and I am + Your affectionate + "NEIGHBOR NELLY. + + "Saturday Morning." + +You may believe how pleased I was with this dear little note, and I +thought I would answer it. So I sat down at my writing desk, found a +cunning little sheet of paper, with a flag on it, and commenced. + +Now I happened to think, at that moment, of some very comical letters +written by the great poet, Tom Hood, to his little friends on the +seashore; and as they were ever so much funnier than anything I could +have written, I copied one of them out, and sent it to my little new +friend. + + "MY DEAR NEIGHBOR NELLY: + + "I am very glad you are to walk with me, and very + sorry you are going away so soon. Do you like to + be on the seashore? I did, when I was a boy. I + and my brother chucked hundreds of stones into the + sea, when we were there, but we came away before + we could fill it up. Then there is the fun of + finding shiny pebbles and jelly fish on the beach. + I used to think jelly fish were made of + sea-calves' feet, and no flavoring. I suppose the + mermaids eat them at their parties. + + "Then there's fishing on the seaside. I used to + catch flat fish sometimes, with a long string + line, it was like swimming a kite. If you go out + in a surf boat, take care it does not "flounder" + and get "squamped," as some people say, instead of + founder and swamped. + + "Have you ever been bathed in the sea? I was, + and, dear me! how I kicked and screamed; or, at + least, tried to scream, but the sea, ships and + all, began to run into my mouth, and so I shut it + up. Remember, when you are bathing, if you meet + with a shark, the best way is to bite off his + legs, if you can, before he walks away with yours; + and pray, pray, pray take care of yourself in the + sea, for in some places, they say, it has not even + a bottom to go to. + + "Could you bring me a little crab off the beach? + If you would catch one for me, and teach it to + shake hands without nipping and biting, it would + make me quite happy, for I have not had any toys + or playthings in a long time. It would be a good + plan to hire a little crab to teach the baby to + crawl, if he can't walk yet. Bless him! But I must + not write on him any more; he is so soft, and I + have nothing but steel pens. + + "Now good-by; give my love to everybody, and my + compliments to all the rest, and believe me, up + hill and down dale, + + "Your affectionate neighbor, + "JOSIAH OLDBIRD." + +Then I put my letter in a flag envelope, sealed it up tight, and wrote +on it, "To my dear Neighbor Nelly," and had the maid take it to her. + +Presently I could see two little figures flitting about in one of the +upper chambers, and soon after all four of us, Nelly, Jimmy, I, and +Gipsey, were in the street. Gipsey was a "toy terrier" that ought to +have belonged to "Commodore Nutt," the dwarf at "Barnum's," and ran +along on three legs most of the time, with the fourth, and his +cork-screw tail elevated in the air for joy at being allowed to join the +party; while the children were all hop, skip, and jump, and kept tight +hold of a hand of mine apiece, as though they were afraid of flying away +if they let go. Meanwhile, I walked quietly along, with my market basket +on my arm, a sober old bachelor. I expect the people who passed us in +the street thought me a rather incongruous addition to such a frisky +party; but then, you know, children _must_ caper about. Bless your +heart! it would never do in the world to see children mincing solemnly +along, like little old men and women; it would be as absurd as to have +my Neighbor Nelly wearing her great-grandmother's coal-scuttle bonnet! +The last idea struck me as so odd, that I drew a little picture of +Neighbor Nelly in this guise when I got home, and here it is. How do you +like it? + +[Illustration] + +We thought we would go to market first. So we walked slowly down Fourth +Avenue, and crossed over to the market where the Seventh Regiment armory +is, opposite the Cooper Institute. + +"My cousin is a Seventh Regimenter!" said Jimmy as we climbed up the +iron steps; "he often let us look on at his company drills last winter, +and afterward Nelly and I drilled in our yard. The big boy who comes to +see the old ladies next door, looked over the fence and laughed at us, +but we didn't care; and we mean to fight for our country like everything +when we are bigger; that is, I mean to, and Nelly would like to, but +she's only a girl, you know." + +"Only a girl!" repeated Nelly, tossing her long curls; "girls are a +great deal of use, too; I mended all his stockings and all papa's this +week--think of that, neighbor Oldbird!" + +"That was really splendid!" said I; and just then we entered the market. + +The very first thing we met was a horrid big dog, that belonged to some +butcher; and, bless me! how he began to show his great rows of teeth, +and growl at Gipsey! Nelly gave a little scream, and tried to hide +behind me; Jimmy valiantly flew at the big dog with my walking stick; +and poor little Gipsey nearly stood on the end of his tail with fright, +and squealed dismally. What a fuss we were all in, to be sure! So at +last, to quiet the disputants, I caught Gipsey up, and put him in my +coat pocket, where he sat, looking out at the top, very much comforted. + +Then we turned to the right, and went by the brightest and prettiest +stall in the whole market. It was kept by a Frenchman, who, in his own +language, would be called a "_charcutier_;" but Jimmy and Nell shouted +out together "Oh, there's the _pig man_!" as loud as ever they could, +and then stopped, blushing very much, because they were afraid the pork +merchant heard them. I expect he did; for he looked very funny when we +came close, and smoothing down his snowy apron with his fat hands, said +"Bonjour, mademoiselle!" and laughed good humoredly. There was a great +"head cheese" on the pig man's marble counter, moulded in the shape of a +boar's head. The tusks were made of white carrots, the eyes of red +jelly, and the sides of the dish it was on were beautifully ornamented +with white roses, cut out of turnips, and parsley foliage. Then there +were ever so many pork pies, with the most elegant wreaths of flowers on +the top crust, comical little hams already cooked, and fat dumplings of +sucking pigs, as pink as baby himself! + +When we had looked about us a little, we concluded to buy a pork pie of +the pig man; and while that was being nicely packed up in paper, out +popped Gipsey from my pocket, and stood triumphant on the counter, in +the midst of the little pigs and savory pastries. I don't know what +forays he would not have made upon them, if he had not been captured by +the pig man, Jimmy, and me; but he did contrive to jump right into the +very middle of another pork-pie! and then we had to pay for that, too; +and wipe the gravy off Gipsey's feet and the ends of his tail and nose, +and button him up tight in the market basket for half an hour, as a +punishment for his naughtiness. As to the pie we had bought, Jimmy +carried that, and Gipsey cut up so many antics inside the basket, that +he nearly wriggled it out of my hand altogether. + +After that we went on, and found, dear me! such a comfortable old market +woman, who sold us a nice little chicken, and some fresh vegetables, and +gave the children each a great handful of cherries; but we had to tell +her to send them home, with our pie, because Gipsey had the basket in +possession. + +Then we walked into the street again, and when we had let Gipsey out of +prison, concluded to leave the basket at my baker's, and take a walk in +Broadway. Dear, dear me! what quantities of shop windows there were to +stare into, and how we flattened our three noses, and spread our six +hands all over every one of them, while we admired the splendid picture +books, the stores of sugar plums, or the wonders of toys they contained! +While we were occupied in this way, a little girl, poorly dressed, and +lugging a large bundle of work in both arms, came along, and stopping +beside us at the window of the most splendid toy shop, stood looking +wistfully in. + +Neighbor Nelly straightway twitched my hand, and whispered, "Oh look, +Neighbor Oldbird! what a poor little girl! I don't suppose she ever saw +a doll before in her life. How she must wish she had one!" + +"Suppose we ask her?" I said. + +"Will you ask?" she answered; "I don't like to." + +"Nonsense! ask her yourself; she won't eat you, or Gipsey either;" for +Gipsey was sidling away between my feet, as if he were alarmed too; the +saucy scamp! + +Thereupon Nelly moved closer to the poor girl, and said, in a kind, +little, timid voice, "Do you like dolls?" + +"Yes, very much!" said the child, with a surprised look. + +"Oh, so do I!" cried Nelly, rapturously. "I have lots of them at home; +let me see, there's Jenny, and Willie, and old black Nanny, and--" she +stopped short, seeing the other look wistfully at her, and then said, +"Oh, I forgot! you have none, perhaps; would you like to have one?" + +"Oh yes, miss!" said the child; "not so much for myself, though, as my +little sister; she is sick, and can't do anything, poor Clara! but I +work, and help my mother!" she added, proudly. + +"What does your mother do?" asked Jimmy. + +"She makes shirts for the army; and I do all the button holes." + +"I can't make a button hole," said Nelly, regretfully. + +Here I proposed we should walk into the shop, and after we had looked +all we wanted to at the pretty things, and the children, with screams of +delight, had ridden in turn on a "spring rocking horse," that sent them +flying half way to the top of the glass cases behind the counter, I gave +Jimmy and Nelly each two shillings, and told them to buy whatever the +little girl would like best. The poor little thing's eyes sparkled with +happiness when Nelly bought her the composition doll she chose out of a +heap that were piled in a great basket, gorgeously dressed in pink +mosquito netting, as I thought, but which Nelly informed me was a +"tarletane;" and Jimmy laid out his money on a tiny bowl and pitcher of +sprigged china ware, and an astonished china baby sitting in a bath, and +looking as if it had turned on the hot water, and couldn't turn it off +again. + +Then we trundled Gipsey about a little in a wicker wagon we found, and +put him in the patent baby-jumper to take an airing; and at last, when +we had teased him till he barked like one of the toy poodles on the +shelves, we took ourselves off, and sent the poor child on her way +rejoicing. + +But it was getting late, and time to trot home, before His Majesty the +Sun roasted us all like so many eggs. Our street is always shady and +cool, it seems to me, and we were glad enough to find ourselves once +more on its pavement. I invited Nelly and Jimmy and Gipsey all to take +lunch with me, and didn't we have fun! We ate the pork pie, and stuffed +Gipsey with lumps of sugar, and discovered a pot of raspberry jam in the +closet, and ornamented ourselves with red rims round our mouths, digging +it out; and sliced, and buttered, and disposed of almost half a loaf of +French bread, and hardly stopped laughing, chattering, and barking a +single minute. + +And then, after all this was over, my little neighbors bid me good-by, +and Gipsey barked at me and poked his cold nose into my hand, which +meant "Good-by and thank you," all the same, and the three went home as +merry as crickets. + +I could not see much of my little neighbors before they went away the +next Tuesday, but I was invited to take tea at No. 9 the very last +evening; and then, what should I find out but that Nelly's mamma was the +daughter of an old friend of mine whom I had not seen for years! So we +felt quite like relations right away. Just as tea was over, lo and +behold! there was a tremendous hullaballoo on the back piazza, and when +we poked our heads out of the window to see what the matter was, there +was Gipsey high and dry on the back of Miss Bluejay's fat poodle--having +squeezed through the railing which separated the two piazzas--with the +squirrel, which had come to the rescue of his friend, hanging on to his +tail! and all three setting up a squeal of remonstrance. Gipsey's plight +was so extremely well deserved, that we wouldn't go to his rescue; but +at last, with a tremendous twist, he snatched away his cork-screw tail, +and ran to hide himself and his injured feelings under the sofa in the +front room. How we laughed at him! and how Nelly tried to make him come +out and be lump-sugared into good humor, but he wouldn't; so, to make +up, we coaxed the fat poodle, which had been staring in at the +performance and sniffing satisfaction, to sit up and beg for us until we +gave him the lump of sugar. Then Mrs. Lawson sat down to the piano, and +began playing a funny little hornpipe tune that sounded just like a +banjo; and, to our astonishment, the fat poodle developed another +accomplishment; for, getting on his hind legs, he gravely hopped up and +down on the piazza, keeping time to the music, until we nearly died of +laughter. + +You may fancy, after all these comical doings, that we managed to spend +a merry evening, and when I at last bid my neighbors good night, it was +no longer with the feeling that I was a lonely old bachelor. + +I did find the street pretty lonely though, after they had gone, next +day, with two great big trunks strapped on behind the carriage, a +middling sized trunk hoisted up in front, and several small carpet bags, +and tiny tawny bundles and baskets in every place where room could be +found. I fancy Gipsey was in one of the baskets, by the way it bounced +and wriggled about in Neighbor Nelly's lap; but I don't know; I only saw +it from my window, whence I waved an adieu to them as they rolled away. + +A few days after they had gone, I thought I would amuse myself, in their +absence, by trying to find out if any of the other neighbors knew +anything about my neighbor, Nelly. I succeeded in learning what two of +them knew, and they shall tell it for themselves in the stories that +follow, and which I have written out. And now, if any other dear little +children have been pleased with me, in what I have told of my walks and +talks with Neighbor Nelly, just let them come to No. 10, and meet the +hearty greeting and loving welcome of the + + OLD BACHELOR! + + + + +THE BIG BOY'S STORY. + + +YOU want me to tell you what I know about the pretty little girl next +door? Well, I'm ready to begin, if you won't mind my talk; I'm only a +boy, you know, and can't use fine words--that's all humbug. + +My name is Tom Halstead. I am nephew to the Miss Brandlaws, who live at +No. 7. The idea of calling my darling old friskies "The Bluejays!" (If +you don't give me that Australian post stamp I saw in your desk, I'll +tell 'em, too!) However, to go on with my story. + +One morning last winter, just at the end of the Christmas holidays, +while I was on a visit there, I didn't know what on earth to do with +myself. So I caught Poddles (that's the poodle), dressed him up in Aunt +Elsie's nightcap, tied a life preserver round him, and put him in the +portable shower-bath, just for fun; it didn't hurt him a bit, and--would +you believe it? the hateful thing hopped out, squealing murder, shook +himself all over the carpet, scratched off the nightcap, and danced +round the room with it in a fury, till it was in perfect rags. + +Up rushed Aunt Elsie, and was so horrified when she saw the carpet and +her cap in such a mess, and "darling doggie" all "wetsey-petsey," that +she locked me up in my room for the rest of the day on bread and water! +and there was gingerbread, with raisins in it, baking down stairs!! +Horrid!!! + +Of course I couldn't spend my time sucking my thumbs; so, like a +sensible fellow, I set myself to find some better employment, and soon a +grand idea came into my head. I had just finished reading a jolly +old-fashioned novel I found in Uncle Herbert's room, called "The Castle +Spectre: a Tale of Spain;" where a goose of a lover, such a spooney! had +scrambled down from the top of a castle, hanging on to his bedclothes. +_Now_, don't you see it? Perhaps not, so I'll explain. + +My bedroom is the third floor, back room, always; and you know that +piazza at the back of the house? Well, what did I do, but twitch off +_my_ bedcover--nice white one it was, too--tie it to the bedpost, and +let the end hang out of the window. Then I scrambled out, and slid down +the wall like a streak of lightning! You can't think what jolly fun it +was! + +There was lots of amusement in the yard; twelve cats on the fence to +plague, and no end of snow to make balls and pelt the cook with; beside, +the gingerbread was just baked, and I got a _brown corner_! So! there! +while I was eating it, and it was so hot that it almost sizzled, all at +once I heard a lot of noise in the next yard. Some boys seemed to be +having a drill there; so I ran up the steps leading from the piazza to +the ground, and looked over the fence. But lor now! what do you think? +one of the boys was a girl! She had on long india-rubber boots, and I +called out, "Go it, Boots!" + +Then the little boy that was with her, who seemed to be her brother, +looked so mad at me! and, really and truly, I couldn't help plaguing +them a little. I know you think I was real mean; but if you had seen how +funny they looked, in paper cocked hats, with turkey tails for feathers, +and the little boy thumping a big tin saucepan for a drum, you would +have laughed, too; so you needn't look so provoked, Neighbor Oldbird! + +"Gee up, awkward squad!" I said; "double quick halt on the right flank! +Ha-ahup!" + +But the little girl only laughed good humoredly, and said: "Jimmy and I +belong to the Seventh Regiment, and drill in the last fashion. Don't you +want to come and learn the Lefferts Tactics?" + +Wasn't she a nice little thing! Never got mad or anything, but just gave +me back as good as I sent. I declare, I fell right smack in love with +her that minute, and I don't care a fig now for the girl I met in +dancing school, upon my word I don't; so I rushed back into the +kitchen, coaxed the cook to give me two more hunks of gingerbread, and +called out, "Won't you have some cake?" + +They came running up on the piazza like lamplighters; and while they +were eating the gingerbread, _I_ was eating something I got especially +for myself at the same time. Did you ever try it? You have a great big +sour apple, as cold as it can be, and a tremendous pickled pepper, as +hot as it can be; then you take first a bite of the pepper, and nearly +burn all the skin off your throat, and then a bite of the apple to cool +it again; and so on. It's gorgeous, I tell you! + +Presently the little boy (whose name, as I said, was Jimmy), stopped +his eating to ask me, "Do you live in New York?" + +"No, I live at White Plains. I go to the Military Academy there; don't +you want me to show you some drill?" + +"Oh, Cousin Charley is going to teach us some time. He belongs to the +Seventh Regiment. We love to be soldiers, though, and we know a boy, +Freddy Jourdain his name is, who got up a whole regiment, and has +parades, and went into camp, and everything." + +"We have a camp at White Plains," I told them. "Do you ever go there in +summer, Miss----" here I stopped, rather awkwardly, not knowing what her +name was. + +"Oh, I'm not 'Miss' anybody;" she said; "I'm Nelly; but we go to the +seashore in summer 'most always." + +"Can't you dress up in your uniform, and show us how you look at +school?" said Jimmy. + +"Yes, if you like;" here I remembered that the key of my room was in +Aunt Elsie's pocket, and had to say, "but I can't get into my room now; +I was locked in, and Aunt Elsie has the key." + +"How do you come to be here, then?" said Nelly; "why, dear me, just look +at the counterpane hanging out of the window; how funny!" + +"Why, that's the way I got out!" I said; and so I told them all about +"The Castle Spectre," and "Lord Alonzo Algernon" Spooneyman, and we got +into such a perfect _gig_ of laughter, that we nearly rode off in it! +(Now, don't say that's not a good joke, or I'll not tell another word of +my story.) + +Just then out came Poddles, looking as surprised as ever; and Nelly +exclaimed, "Oh, there's that funny old dog! what do you call him?" + +"His name is Poddles!" said I; "_I_ christened him." + +"What a queer name!" said Jimmy; "let's take him into our house and see +what Gipsey and he will do!" + +"Good!" said I. So, without remembering that plaguey white spread, I cut +over the piazza railings with Poddles under one arm, and we all three +rushed up stairs together. + +They had such a famous play room, with a splendid swing, and a +teetertorter, and ten-pins, and I don't know what beside; and there was +the nattiest little dog! but you know him, that "toy-terrier" of theirs. +Poddles looked a greater fright than ever beside him; so, to pay him +off, we put that wretched Pod into a basket, tied it fast to the swing, +and swung him up to the ceiling. It frightened him half to death, and +serve him right, for being so ugly! after which he and Gipsey went to +sleep in a big rocking chair, as friendly as possible. Then I gave Nelly +a splendid swing, "ran under," and cracked my cocoanut three times, +beside making my arms ache like everything; but I didn't care, she was +such a dear little thing. + +Afterward Jimmy went and got a great plateful of rosy apples; and just +as we were eating them, and having such fun, up came one of our girls, +and said that "Miss Brandlaw wanted Master Tom right home!" Wasn't it +hateful? But, of course, I had to go; so I bundled Poddles under my arm +again, bid them good-by, and walked off with Mary; but I poked her ribs +and set Poddles at her all the way, which was some comfort. + +I expected a scolding when I came home, and I didn't have one--oh no! +Aunt Elsie wanted to know where I thought I should die when I went +to--(no, I believe it was the other way, but never mind)--if I hung +best bed spreads out of the window, and left my room without permission? +besides informing me that she should write to ma', and have me sent for. +Finally, she marched me up stairs again; and when I said I _must_ have +something to do to keep me out of mischief, she gave me a Sunday school +book to read, and took herself off. + +Of course you will say I was dreadfully wicked not to like the Sunday +school book, but I couldn't. It was so full of hard names and long +words, and was all about sanctification and justification and +regeneration, and how was I to understand a word of it? I love Bible +stories, but I don't think there is a boy or girl who _understands hard +doctrines_. Do you, Neighbor Oldbird? + +I pretty soon gave up that employment, and amused myself instead with +pelting the cats on the fence with a few marbles, and trying on my +uniform, to see how I looked in it; until Aunt Elsie relented, I +suppose, for she came up and asked me through the keyhole if I was +sorry, and wouldn't do any more. You can fancy what my answer was, and +after dinner I got permission to go out and play on the sidewalk. + +Neighbor Nelly and Jimmy joined me there pretty soon, and we had such +fun playing "tag" and driving hoop. It wasn't hoop _time_, to be sure, +but that was no matter. Then, when we were tired of that, we all sat +down together on the upper step of No. 9, and began talking about their +school and mine, and what we learned. + +"Do you ever learn pieces of poetry?" asked Nelly. "My teacher, Miss +Backboard, always gives the girls each a piece of poetry every Friday; +so we call that poetry day." + +"I used to learn pieces too," I said; "but I don't care much for poetry +unless it's funny." + +"Tell us a funny piece," said Jimmy. + +"Ah yes, do!" added Nelly; and, of course, when a _lady_ asked me I had +to, though I felt pretty bashful; so I began. + + +A DAY OF MISHAPS. + +(AS TOLD BY BOBBY BREAKWINDOW, A SCHOOLBOY.) + +[Illustration] + +[Illustration: BOBBY AND ROVER.] + +[Illustration] + + Oh dear! was there ever anybody so unlucky as I am, + From General ----, who lost that battle t'other day, + all the way back to Priam! + Come, sit down--do, and let me tell you all about it, + and what's the matter; + Perhaps it will do me good to have a nice, comfortable, + miserable chatter. + To begin, then. This morning I woke, and thought I was + up with the sun. + So never hurried myself; but dressed slow, and came down, + to find breakfast all done, + And nothing left for me but one cold slapjack, and all + the chicken gone, + Unless, to be sure, I could have eaten the drumsticks, + and one perfectly clean breast bone! + And, of course, I had to make haste, for it was nine + o'clock and after, + And the master had offered a prize to the earliest boy--and + here was I beaten by even lazy Tommy Shafter! + But it was no use to fret, so I snatched up my satchel, and + would have been off in a minute, + When lo and behold! my geography was gone; and though we hunted + the house, it was plain it wasn't in it, + Till at last I remembered that yesterday I had gone after school + to the dog pound, + And then been fishing with Fred Lee; so, probably, it was at the + bottom of the frog pond! + Well, off to school I went, and came in after every schoolmate; + So, to pay me off, the schoolmaster and all the boys called me + Bobby Toolate! + But that wasn't all; for the class was just up for spelling, + And I didn't know the lesson, and Tommy Shafter prompted me to + spell boots _butes_; and that's all I got for telling, + Besides going to the foot of the class, and having to get the + lesson over; + I tell you what! a hand-organ monkey's life, compared to a + schoolboy's, is perfect rolling in clover! + And I wish I was a monkey, if I did get beaten--yes, that I do-- + In a red coat all over spangles, and blue trowsers, and a long + tail behind to come through! + Well, thank goodness, it's over; but that's not the half of my + pother; + For the very minute I got out of school, Tommy Shafter began + to plague and bother, + And wanted me to ride on the gate with him that goes in to his + grandfather Chowser's; + So I did; but there's spikes on the top of that gate; and, + confound it, I went to work and tore my trowsers! + Just then along came Miss Kitty Snow, and didn't I look dashing, + And that hateful Tommy Shafter bawled out "How are you, trowsers?" + and jumped down and walked off with her; but just see if I + don't give him a thrashing! + To pay him off for what he did and more too; for, when I came home + weeping and wailing, + Pa boxed my ears, and said I was such a bad boy I shouldn't go + with him now out sailing; + So I had the pleasure of seeing the rockaway drive up to the door, + And pa and ma getting in, and sister Tilly, and brother Sam, and + ever so many more, + All looking so happy and gay, and not caring a bit for poor Bobby, + Just as if I _wanted_ to get into scrapes, and mischief and + bad conduct were quite my hobby! + Then off they whirled; and as I was left alone, I thought I might + as well be up and doing. + Oh, good gracious, why didn't I sit still? but how could I tell + what was brewing? + So I went to the stable to see our big dog Rover, and thought + I would take him out with me; + When, just as I had slipped his chain, he broke loose, and ran, + I don't know where! and, I'm sure, pa will never forgive me! + For he thought so much of Rover. Oh, dear me, what shall I do? + If it would be any use in the world, I really think I should begin + to boohoo! + The stable boy told me not to take him; but I should like to see + myself minding him _rather_; + And of course, out of revenge, he'll just go and make the worst + of it to father. + Well, one would think that was enough; but when I came back to + the house, oh jolly! + There was our big cat just making a spring at sister Tilda's + pretty polly! + And in my haste to save the bird I threw the poker at the cat + and killed her! + And got myself in for a scolding from ma, and no great thanks + from Tilda. + It's six o'clock now; so, I suppose, they'll soon be home as + cross as any Tartar, + To give it to me for being such a bad boy, though I'm sure + I'm a regular martyr; + Don't you think so now, after all that I've just been telling? + No breakfast, no geography, late at school, tore my trowsers, + kept at home, lost the dog, killed the cat, and didn't know + my spelling! + I think the best thing I can do is to go to bed, put my head + under the clothes, + And in a good, comfortable sleep try to forget all my sorrows + and my woes; + But you may be sure, after this, I shall not neglect to take + warning, + And begin to-morrow all right, without any sort of fail, by + getting up early in the morning! + +"There!" said I, when I had finished, and it quite wore my tongue thin +to repeat such a long piece of poetry. "What do you think of _that_ for +a story?" + +"I think it is real funny," said Nelly, laughing; "I wish I knew +something to tell." + +"I can say a funny piece!" shouted Jimmy. + +"Well, say it, then," we two--Nelly and I--put in. + +Up he jumped right off, struck a funny attitude, and began: + + "The boy stood on the burning deck, + Peeling potatoes by the peck! + The flames rolled on and scorched his shins, + As he stood peeling potato skins! + 'Oh pa'!' he cried, 'the flames is hot, + Come, put the potatoes in the pot!' + But his father, alas! ne'er came to sup, + So the flames rolled on and frizzled him up!" + +"Did you ever hear anything so ridiculous as that?" cried Nelly. "Poor +Casabianca! I used to cry over him dreadfully; but I shall never think +of him now without laughing. Where did you learn that, Jimmy?" + +"Oh, Harry Agnew told it to me; he said he repeated it one day in +school, when the master asked him if he could say a piece of poetry, and +everybody burst out laughing. The master laughed too; so he couldn't put +anybody down for a bad mark, though Harry was afraid he would." + +"That was almost equal to the trick we played at school," said I. "We +wanted the doctor to give us a holiday, but he didn't seem to see it; so +when we were called up for our reading after recess, we were told to +read Montgomery's poem called 'Questions to Birds and their Answers.' +One of the verses is about the swallow, and reads thus: + + "'Swallow, why homeward turned thy joyful wing?' + 'In a far land I heard the voice of spring; + I found myself that moment on the way, + My wings, my wings, they had not power to stay.' + +--but we changed it as though the doctor was asking us a question and we +were answering--this way: + + "'Boys! why are you forever on the wing, + Wanting a holiday for everything?' + 'From you we are so glad to get away, + Our legs, our legs, they will not let us stay.'" + +How we all laughed over this; it was real true, too; and pretty soon +after, as it was getting dark, I bid them good-by and ran home. + +Next morning, what should Aunt Elsie and Aunt Ruth (Aunt Priscilla was +away on a visit) take into their heads, but that they hadn't had any fun +house-cleaning--(I suppose they must think it's fun, or they wouldn't do +it so often)--for ever so long; so nothing would suit them but to set +the whole house in an uproar as quick as possible. Of course, I was in +the way, whether I stayed in the garret or the kitchen; knocked down +three pails and a scrubbing brush every time I went down stairs, nearly +drowned Poddles in hot soapsuds, splashed myself all over with whitewash +trying to "do" the kitchen ceiling (on my own account, when nobody was +by), until I looked as if I had been out in a snowstorm, and watering +the windows outside with the long hosepipe, until every one of them was +dripping _inside_ like a waterfall. + +Now, Neighbor Nelly and Jimmy had been looking out of their parlor +window, and advising me which were the best parts of our windows to play +on, when, all of a sudden, Nelly said: + +"Why, Tom, it doesn't half clean the panes to do them that way; they +ought to be washed with soap and hot water. Suppose we try it? Only +think!" she went on, "how much your aunties would be obliged to us if we +were to find out a new way to make windows clean, ever so much better +than the old one!" + +"Splendid!" said I and Jimmy together. "Come, let's try it right away!" + +With that, Nelly and Jimmy came into our house, and into the front +basement; Aunt Elsie and Aunt Ruth were both up stairs; so we had the +two lower stories all to ourselves. + +As Nelly was afraid of spoiling her frock, I dived into the cook's +dresser drawer, where she keeps her own table covers and clean dish +cloths, and fished out a great big brown roller-towel, which we pinned +round her neck, making her look in front as if she was tied up in a +potato sack, with only her head left out. Then Jimmy and I took off our +nice jackets, rolled up our shirt sleeves, lugged in three big yellow +dishes full of hot water, spilling plenty on the way, found a long bar +of brown soap, and helped ourselves to three more of Bridget's clean +towels; and then we all three began scrubbing away at the windows! + +Such fun as we had! We put on the greatest lot of soap, and paid away +with both hands, so as to make them good and _clean_, laughing and +talking all the time; and when we thought the water had been used +enough, or, rather when it was nearly all spilt, we took up our yellow +bowls and marched into the kitchen for more. + +Our boiler, you must know, is a tin affair, like a large soup kettle +without the handle, and has a faucet in front to draw the water off. We +put it on the middle of the range, and keep it always full and boiling; +and now, instead of filling our dishes right away, we began playing the +kitchen was a steamboat, and the water heater the boiler, just ready to +burst; so, of course, it was necessary to let off steam, which we did by +drawing a little water at a time from the faucet into one of our yellow +dishes, and tilting it back again as soon as the dish was full, beside +"tooting," as loud as we could, to represent the commotion going on to +perfection. We were soon so busy over this, that we forgot all about +the front basement windows for ever so long, until we heard Aunt Elsie +calling out, "Tom! Tom! where are you?" + +"Here I am, Aunt Elsie! come right along! Here we all are, washing the +windows for you as nice as anything!" + +Down marched Aunt Elsie, short order; and the minute she came into the +basement we heard her give an "O----h!" about a quarter of a mile long. +We all rushed to ask what was the matter; and such a pickle as the +windows were in you never did see. The soap was in streaks, and smears, +and lumps all over the panes, making them look as if somebody had spilt +a lot of hasty pudding on them, and it had stuck fast. Of course, as we +left them so long, the soap had hardened on; and poor Nelly, frightened +half out of her wits, began to cry. That put me up, I can tell you; I +was determined Aunt Elsie shouldn't scold her; so I begged her not to be +angry with anybody but me, for it wasn't their fault at all. + +"And I must say you are old enough to know better, Tom," said my aunt, +looking at me reproachfully over the tops of her spectacles; "and as a +punishment, you must get all the soap off the window before you have any +dinner. The children had better go home." + +But now, what do you think that darling of a Nelly, and Jimmy did? They +declared I shouldn't do it all alone by myself, but they would stay and +help me; so, after Aunt Elsie had been coaxed to let us, we filled our +dishes again, and went to work as busy as bees. It was pretty hard work +getting the soap off, but we made a joke of it, and by the time the +windows were fairly polished up, as bright as new pins, we were in a +perfect frolic. I expect Nelly's bright eyes had something to do with +it, for Aunt Elsie, after we had finished, and come shouting to her with +our faces as red as fire, and considerable brown soap on us in spots, +said, "we were famous workpeople," and gave us New Year's cookies, and +almonds, and raisins for lunch. I had a Philopoena among my nuts, +which I ate with Nelly; and pretty soon after they went home. + +I did hope she would catch me on the Philopoena, because I had +something that I meant to give her all along; and this would be a famous +chance. It was a nest of little boxes, made of plaid papier-mache, about +a dozen, one inside the other; and when you came to the very last, and +had opened that, there was a gold thimble and scissors, and a little +gold bodkin, a needlecase full of tiny needles, and a puncher, just big +enough for the queen of the fairies; I won it at a raffle on Christmas +Eve, and kept it to give to some little girl, for, of course, it wasn't +any use to me; what could I do with a thimble and needles? Sure enough, +when I looked out of the back parlor window next morning, Neighbor Nelly +looked out of _her_ window, said with a saucy smile, "Good morning, Mr. +Tom--Philopoena!" and popped back again. + +"Good!" I said. So, after breakfast, I asked Aunt Elsie for a nice sheet +of paper and a new pen, and then I ran up to my own room, and sat down +to write a little note to my neighbor. I'm sure, that showed how much I +liked her, if anything could, for I'd rather do a sum in compound +fractions, or a French exercise, than write a note. It quite gives me +the toothache; but at last I wrote something very pretty, as, I'm sure, +you will say when I repeat it to you. This is what I said: + + "MY DEAR MISS NELLY: + + "I hope you will accept the little present I send + you for a Philopoena, because I like you very + much. I am real glad you caught me, for perhaps + this will remind you of me when I go back to + school. I hope the needles will sew all the holes + in your clothes, that the thimble will keep you + from pricking your pretty little finger, and that + + "If you loves I as I loves you, + The scissors won't cut our love in two. + + "Good-by. + "From your affectionate friend + "TOM." + +Then I packed up the boxes and the letter in nice white paper, and +coaxed Mary to take it in right away; and you can't tell how many +pretty, smiling thanks I had in return. + +But you think I am making my story too long, Neighbor Oldbird? Well, +perhaps I am, but there seems to be so much to tell about Nelly, and the +nice times we had together, that I don't know when to stop. I am 'most +through now. + +The day I sent her the Philopoena present was the last of my stay in +town; and after I had packed up my clothes ready to start (with a +gorgeous plum cake and two jars of raspberry jam in a box, which my dear +old Friskies gave me,--they always do make everything of me, in spite of +their lectures), I went to Uncle Herbert's room to bid him good-by, for +I knew I should not see him again before I started, and he made me the +best present of all. It was a dear little watch and chain; for he said, +as I was nearly fifteen, I was quite old enough to take care of one. +Wasn't that kind of him? + +Well, dear me, I don't want to say good-by a bit, and I did not then; +but, of course, it had to come, and I shook hands with my dear little +friends, only wishing to goodness that I lived in New York. + +We promised about twenty-five times apiece always to be friends; and +then I kissed Aunt Elsie and Aunt Ruth, pulled Poddles' ears for +good-by, and pranced off all alone; of course, boys that have watches +are plenty big enough to go from New York to White Plains by +themselves. I suppose we always shall stay there, for papa is abominably +fond of the country; but just wait until I am a man, and see if I don't +come to live in New York, and marry Neighbor Nelly, if she will have me. +Mind you keep that last remark a secret, now, Neighbor Oldbird! That's +all there is about it. + + + + +THE FAT GENTLEMAN'S STORY. + + + I'M in love with Neighbor Nelly, + Though I know she's only ten; + While I am five and forty, + And the _married-est_ of men. + I've a wife as fat as butter, + And a baby--such a boy! + With the plumpest cheeks and shoulders, + Who's his father's dearest joy. + + Though a Square toes and a Buffer, + Still I've sunshine in my heart; + Still I'm fond of tops and marbles + Can appreciate a tart. + I can love my Neighbor Nelly, + Just as though I were a boy, + And would hand her cakes and apples, + From my depths of corduroy. + + She is tall, and growing taller; + She is vigorous of limb; + (You should see her playing soldiers + With her little brother Jim!) + She has eyes as blue as damsons; + She has pounds of auburn curls; + She regrets the game of leapfrog + Is prohibited to girls. + + I adore my Neighbor Nelly, + I invite her in to tea, + And I let her nurse the baby + Her delightful ways to see. + Such a darling bud of woman! + Yet remote from any teens; + I have learnt from Neighbor Nelly + What the girls' doll instinct means. + + Oh! to see her with the baby! + (He adores her more than I); + How she choruses his crowing, + How she hushes every cry! + How she loves to pit his dimples + With her light forefinger deep; + How she boasts, as one in triumph, + When she gets him off to sleep! + + We must part, my Neighbor Nelly, + For the summers quickly flee; + And the middle-aged admirer + Must, too soon, supplanted be. + Yet, as jealous as a mother, + A suspicious, cankered churl, + I look vainly for the setting, + To be worthy such a pearl! + + NOTE.--This charming little gem is not original, + being gleaned from the pages of Putnam's Magazine. + As it was there published anonymously, the author + is unable to make any further acknowledgment. + + + + +POSTSCRIPT TO THE THREE STORIES. + +BY THE OLD BACHELOR. + + +WHEN I had finished copying out the stories of the Big Boy and the Fat +Gentleman last summer, the thought struck me that, as I had been in town +all the warm bright June weather, it would do my health a great deal of +good to take a trip to Long Branch. Of course, it was not to see +Neighbor Nelly--certainly not. + +So, the very next Saturday afternoon I dusted up my valise, and put some +nice cool summer clothes in it, and a great paper of candy, which I +meant for my little neighbors, in case I should see them by accident! +Somebody had told me that the Mansion House was the best hotel to stop +at. Shall I tell you why? Because there was a party there, of a papa and +mamma, a dear little girl and boy, and a remarkably nice little toy +terrier, which would put me in mind very much of some friends of mine +called Lawson. In fact, this family was called Lawson, too, and the +younger members were christened Nelly and Jimmy! Comical, wasn't it? + +If you have never been to Long Branch, you can't think what a pleasant +sail it is down the Bay in the "Thomas Collyer," and how much I enjoyed +my trip. The pleasant shores of Long and Staten Islands (_I_ used to +live on Staten Island, and had some comical times there, which I mean to +write out one of these days) looked as verdant and beautiful as ever; +the sea was as blue as a bluebottle fly, and the sun as light as a cork! +As I looked at the great, rolling waves, I laughed to myself, thinking +what nice times we were going to have in bathing; ducking under them, +when they came roaring along the shore after us, as if they meant to +gobble us up, and bouncing out again when they had passed, all dripping +and laughing, and ready for the next one to play the same trick on us. +Sometimes, to be sure, the waves play too rough, and knock you off your +feet without "by your leave;" or a little crab will walk up and bite +your toes, just by way of welcoming you to Long Branch; but nobody minds +it. Bless you!--that only makes it more fun to go in bathing! + +Well, the boat stopped at the pier, which extends a quarter of a mile +from the shore, putting one in mind of a long crab's claw stuck out for +"shake hands" by old Neptune; and I jumped into the cars and was bounced +and rattled along to Long Branch. As it was Saturday afternoon, a great +crowd of people were going there with me, and, deary me! when _I_ came +to the Mansion House, there wasn't any room left for me! Wasn't it too +bad? Just when I had fixed to have such a nice time with my dear little +friends! It would never do to go away, however, so I said: "Well, never +mind, Mr. Mansion House--that is, Mr. Neighbor Nelly--dear me!--Mr. +Laird, I can do without a room; and at night you can put me to sleep in +the pigeon house, or the hen coop, or under the counter of the office, +or up the chimney, I don't care which; but go away I can't!" + +Now, I expect, Mr. Laird must have known I had come to see Neighbor +Nelly, and what a disappointment it would be not to get in; for after a +consultation with his bookkeeper, he told me he could give me a room +after all! and I was so glad, that I offered him my snuff box +immediately, which is a favor I only grant to very nice people! + +So up stairs I hurried, to get ready for tea, in high good humor, and, +would you believe it, when I came down again, whose table should I be +put to sit at, but Neighbor Nelly's? Oh, how surprised and pleased she +was to see me! and Jimmy and his father and mother were just as glad. +There was famous "clam chowder" for tea, and such great big +blackberries, that we really had to make two bites of them! not to +mention the quantities of other good things; and after tea we strolled +out on the bluff, which overlooks the ocean. There are three pretty +little summer houses before the Mansion House, and in one of these we +took our seats. Gipsey had come scampering up to me in delighted +recognition as we left the dining room, barking and wagging his tail, +until I should think both his tail and his bark would have been quite +out of joint. + +"Oh, Neighbor Oldbird, I'm so glad you have come," began Nelly, eagerly; +"we have been having such fun, and, now you are here, it will be nicer +than ever." + +"Do you and Jimmy go in bathing?" I asked. + +"I guess we do!" cried Jimmy. "We rush into the water first of anybody, +and go out real deep, when we have hold of the ropes. Some great big +boys are as afraid as anything! But we like to have the waves go over +our heads." + +"Talking about big boys," said I, looking wonderfully sly, "I made the +acquaintance of a big boy in our street, not long ago, who knows a +certain little lady very well; and likes her very well, too!" + +"Oh, I know!" chimed both the children; "it's Tom Halstead. Isn't it?" + +"Yes; he told me something funny about you, too; I did not know you +could wash windows before, Neighbor Nelly." + +My little neighbor laughed and blushed comically when I said that, and +then Jimmy said: + +"He's a first rate fellow, I tell you. He sent us a letter the other +day, and what do you think? he's coming here!" + +"Coming here!" I exclaimed; "my stars! I shall be quite thrown in the +shade when such a nice friend makes his appearance. I think I shall have +to go home again Monday, and I did mean to stay till Wednesday," and I +made up a dismal face, and pretended to be quite heart-broken. + +"No, indeed, Neighbor Oldbird! we shall always like you the best!" cried +Nelly, catching both my hands in hers. "He is a very nice boy, to be +sure, but we like _you_ just as much as if you were our bachelor uncle." + +"Then I move to be called Uncle Josiah directly!" I said, laughing; +"so, my dear niece and nephew, don't you think it would be a good plan +for us to go down on that nice yellow sand there, and look at the +waves?" + +The children were delighted with this plan, so we all three walked to +the steep wooden steps that lead from the bluff to the beach below, and +were soon on the sands. Gipsey came racing after as usual, and in his +haste to join us, ran so fast down the steps, that he couldn't stop +himself, but had to bring up on the sand past the water mark, looking +comically astonished. To put a finishing touch to his misfortunes, a +great big wave came tumbling in just then, and over poor Gipsey it went! +sousing him head and ears! It frightened him so much that he rushed +dripping wet to Neighbor Nelly, and jumped into her lap, squealing +dismally. Such a perfect shower-bath of cold salt water as rained all +over her pretty muslin dress, and trim little gaiters and stockings! We +had to shake her well, and put Gipsey to bed on a sandhill near us, +where he went to sleep, and, I hope, forgot his miseries. + +Perhaps you don't know it, but the sand is a famous place to write your +name. You go as near the retreating wave as you dare, and then, with a +walking stick or an umbrella, or your finger, if nothing better is to be +had, write your name, or draw a hideous spook on the wet sand. You have +to be quick about it, too; for just as you are putting the finishing +touches to the work, another great billow is sure to come tearing at +you, with a wide, deep hollow of emerald green, and foaming crest, +looking like molten silver in the moonlight. Crash! it falls on the +beach; and a long rush of foam slides up the sand as you scamper out of +reach, not always without a wet shoe or two. Now the water has all run +back, but where is the writing? The sand is smooth once more, and ready, +like a great blackboard, to be marked on anew. So the sea is always +clearing your writing book for you, and giving you a chance to begin +again and see how long it will last! + +I should think we wrote "Nelly," "Jimmy," and "Neighbor Oldbird," about +fifty times each on the sand, with my walking stick; and then we "hung +Jeff. Davis on a sour apple tree," and depicted him with Old Spookey +coming after him, and told the Atlantic Ocean, "We like blue fish," and +"We're going in bathing Monday," and never succeeded in keeping one of +our achievements more than half a minute. + +We stayed down on the delightful beach until nearly half-past nine; and, +dear me, what a heap of sand we got in our shoes! It was quite wonderful +how it contrived to work its way in; but there it was, making us lift up +our feet as heavily as though we had cannon balls tied to our ankles. + +But it was getting late, and high time for small people to be off to +bed; so, with a shake of the hand from one of my little neighbors, and a +"good kiss" from the other, I don't say _which_, Gipsey was waked up, +and they all trotted off together. + +Next morning was Sunday, and a beautiful sunshiny day. The first thing I +did when I woke up, was to pop my head out of the window and take a look +at the ocean. There it was, as beautiful as ever, and now I found out a +funny thing about Long Branch that I hadn't noticed the evening before. +"Why," said I, "is it possible I am in the country? Where are the +trees?" They were nowhere to be seen, not so much as a bush; while the +flowers were represented by everybody's bathing dresses hanging over +all the fences, and on ever so many clothes-lines besides, to dry. The +fact is, that the Atlantic Ocean is determined to let nothing be admired +but itself; so it will not permit a tree to grow any nearer its shores +than half a mile. So all the foliage there consists of the direful old +bathing dresses, flapping in the wind and looking like so many +scarecrows put up to frighten off the fishhawks. + +In the morning we went to the cunning little Episcopal church, and +listened to the earnest teachings of the noble young rector, who is +working so bravely in his Master's cause with such poor earthly reward. +That he is laying up treasure where "neither moth nor rust doth +corrupt," we cannot but believe. We did not like to leave the quiet +little church for the great noisy hotels, in one of which, as we passed +it, they were _playing billiards_. Oh! what an occupation for God's holy +day! I cannot believe they were Christians who were playing, but I know +I wanted to go and beg them to stop. + +In the afternoon it clouded up, and began to rain very hard; so we could +not go to church, and as it was very little like Sunday in the crowded +hall and parlor, Mrs. Lawson proposed we should all come and sit in her +room, which opened on one of the upper piazzas. So we established +ourselves here, where it was quiet and cool, very glad to escape from +the bustle down stairs. + +"Suppose you were to repeat that pretty German hymn I gave you the other +day," said her mother to Nelly. "Perhaps Mr. Oldbird would like to hear +it." + +"Yes, that I should," I said; so Nelly began the beautiful verses +called-- + + +"ALL THERE." + + "Nothing is lost; the treasures which the ocean + Hath taken to itself in ages fled, + The lives that rest beneath its ceaseless motion + Until 'the sea shall render up its dead:' + + "The dew drops that the warm bright sunshine drieth, + The cloud that melts away in summer air, + The bud that lifteth its sweet head--and dieth, + They are not lost--God keeps them in his care. + + "Nothing is lost; the anguish of the mourner, + And bitter tears that fall like solemn rain, + Are safely stored within the heavenly garner, + Till Christ shall come unto his own again. + + "And our beloved ones that Death doth gather + To their calm, dreamless sleep beneath the tomb, + Like tender flowers, are cherished by the Father + In the celestial fields of Heaven to bloom. + + "Nothing is lost; oh, let the promise cheer us; + By God himself to weary mortals given; + Our darling ones shall soon again be near us, + Our hopes shall bloom, unfadingly, in Heaven." + +"I think that is the best hymn I know," added Nelly, when she had +finished. "Now, what shall we do?" + +"Let's play church!" suggested Jimmy. + +"Oh yes! that's the very thing!" said Nelly. "Suppose we ask Kitty and +Robby Morris to come in." + +So Kitty and Robby were found, and consented to join the play, which +straightway began; mamma and I looking on, though we made believe not to +be taking notice, for fear of disturbing the little visitors. + +Robby, who was a dear little fellow, only five years old, with long +golden curls and great blue eyes, was the minister, at his own special +request. The children dressed him in a long white sack of Mrs. Lawson's +by way of a gown, and gave him a small table for a pulpit. The others, +with Gipsey, and a large gray cat, the property of Robby and Kitty, +which marched in after them, were the congregation, sitting on the edge +of the bed, to be like the long church pew. The minister took for his +text, "Little children, love one another," and his sermon was such a +dear, funny little discourse, that I must write it down for you. + +"Now, my dear peoples," he said, "I hope, whenever you feel like +karrelling,[A] or being as cross as bears, you will 'member what the +Bible says 'bout loving one another. Gipsey fighted my tat to-day, and +pulled some of her fur out; but he's only a dog, and I readed in my Dr. +Watts-- + + "Let dogs delight to bark and bite, + For God has made 'em so; + Let bears and lions growl and fight, + For 'tis their nature too. + But, children, _you_ s'ould _never_ let + Your angry _pass'ons_ rise! + Your little hands were _never_ made + To sc'atch each other's eyes." + +----so I was not mad at him, 'cause he didn't _know_ he ought to love +pussy. + +"I _s'apped_ nurse the other day, 'cause she made me come out of the +water before I wanted to, and _that_ was _very_ naughty; I begged her +pardon, though, and gave her a piece of my _tandy_, that papa had +brought me. Now, my dear peoples, I think that is long enough. S'pose we +sing, 'I want to be an angel.'" + +[Illustration: PLAYING CHURCH.] + +Wasn't that a cunning little sermon? It put me in mind of how I used to +play church in my childhood, long ago; when my young brother, dear +little Davy, would stand on a chair, while I sat on my stool at his +feet, and preach a sermon something like Robby's. Darling Davy! I +fancied I could see his sweet face and earnest eyes looking down at me, +from his happy home in heaven that Sunday afternoon; for he closed those +dark eyes on this weary earth many long years since, and I never think +of him now but as standing on the chair in our father's study (with, +perhaps, mother looking in, unknown to him), and preaching from some +simple text that we knew and loved, in quaint, yet childish words. Ah, +well! perhaps it was better so, than that he should have lived to be a +gray-headed old bachelor like "brother Jose!" + +So the children all sang the hymn, and that was the end of church. We +passed the rest of the afternoon telling Bible stories, and repeating +hymns, and after tea it was clear once more, and dry enough to go out on +the bluff. + +You may be sure, we were all in famous spirits Monday morning, and ready +for any sort of a frolic. Who could help being good humored with such +company as my little neighbors? Mr. Lawson left us in the first train +for the city; but, to make up, who should have come down in the early +morning boat, but Tom Halstead and Miss Elsie Bluejay--or Brandlaw, I +ought to say, since I know her name now; and they drove straight up to +the Mansion House, of course--who wouldn't, when Neighbor Nelly was +there? The children received Tom with shouts of joy; and he looked so +handsome and happy, and his great black eyes sparkled so with good humor +and fun, that I felt quite ready to admit him into my circle of little +people that I knew and loved. Neighbor Nelly and he were an admirable +contrast in point of appearance, and I shouldn't be surprised if the +last remark made to me in strict confidence, by my friend Tom in his +account of her, should come true some day. + +I wish I could sketch a little picture of our party as we clustered +together on the piazza, to show what manner of people we were then; and +another, of our appearance in the water afterward. Ten o'clock was the +hour for bathing that morning; so we each armed ourselves with our +bathing clothes and a prodigious towel, like the main sail of a fishing +smack, and rushed down to the beach; that is, the younger members; Aunt +Elsie, Mrs. Lawson, and I walked soberly along. Then we popped into +separate bathing houses, still looking like respectable and responsible +members of society, and popped out five minutes afterward--scarecrows! +spooks! animated rag-bags! with the last vestige of our gentility and +good looks departed. + +Aunt Elsie had taken leave of a most beautiful brown "front" and +fourteen luxuriant curls, the absence of which gave her an appearance +very like a staid bald-headed owl; particularly as she would keep on her +very round spectacles, and wore a pair of extremely long-fingered green +cotton gloves. The long ends of the glove fingers, waving about in the +water, were not unlike the owl's claws; while her gray woollen bathing +dress might have passed for a new sort of flannel feathers. A mortified +blue sunbonnet, with all the canes out, was perched lop-sided on her +head, and she wore a pair of bathing shoes, like brown poultices. The +rest of us were just as bad, though; I was an ogre in green flannel, Tom +and Jimmy monkeys in red, Mrs. Lawson tolerably lady-like in blue, with +white tape trimmings, and Neighbor Nelly a ridiculous little old jumping +Jenny in white, with gorgeous red facings; and all in hats that defied +our best friends to know us in. + +How we laughed at each other, and then made haste over the sand, which +was so hot that it nearly scorched our feet, and plumped into the nice +cool ocean, where ever so many other frights were already hopping about. + +Now for a rush into the deep water! here comes a big wave! down, down +now! and over our heads it went! dousing us as it had Gipsey the +Saturday night, only we didn't squeal. + +Presently, some people who had come from the next hotel, began dancing +the "Lancers" in the water, ducking under instead of bowing, and +seeming to have such a good time, that nothing would suit the children +but that they must begin dancing, too; in consequence of which a wave +twice as high as usual came roaring up, and carried Neighbor Nelly right +off her feet. Under the water she went, and for an instant we were quite +frightened; but presently up she popped laughing, and trying to squeeze +the salt water out of her eyes. + +However, that put a stop to the dancing; and here let me tell you, that +surf bathing is always a pretty venturesome thing to attempt, unless you +grasp the ropes firmly, or have hold of some older and stronger person's +hand. + +There was one gentleman flourishing about near us, who seemed bent upon +trying how many odd things he could do in the water. Presently we saw +him going down head first, and then his feet coming up in the air like a +duck's! It looked so comical to see any one besides a duck standing +upside down in the water, that we all burst out laughing, and just then +along came another billow, and treated us each to a mouthful of salt +water! + +By this time we had been in long enough for one day, for you should +always remember to come out before you feel chilled, and so we waded to +the shore, looking more outlandish than ever, now the bathing dresses +were all soaked, and hurried into the houses to get dry and dressed. + +Surf bathing is a famous thing to give you an appetite; and I don't +wonder Mr. Laird provides so bountiful and well cooked a dinner, when I +think of the famishing five hundred people that were to be fed the day I +was there, and every day beside. The "Charge of the Light Brigade" was +nothing to the charge we made upon the dishes; and as the dining room is +sensibly arranged with tables accommodating about a dozen people each, +we all sat together; and had such a merry time that two or three cross +old dames looked sharply at our party, very curious to know what all the +laughing was about. Our small friend Gipsey was the cause of it, partly, +for he posted himself beside each of our chairs in turn, and made such +surprising and despairing hops and skips after bits of chicken held up +beyond his reach, that he very nearly turned a somerset each time. + +We rewarded his patience at last by giving him some bones, which he +crunched under the table with perfect satisfaction, while we were +discussing the ice cream and other good things. + +In the afternoon I was sitting reading the paper on the upper piazza, +and the children were amusing themselves in their own fashion near me. +Nelly, with another little girl, whose name seemed to be "Baby," for +they never called her anything else, were manufacturing a resplendent +doll's dress for a waxen angel in a white spencer--or whatever those +muslin concerns are called, which the ladies wear with colored skirts +nowadays, and a black velvet pointed belt; while the boys, with their +arms fraternally entwined, were interchanging confidences on the +important subjects of "My peg top," "Don't you think thirty-eight cents +is a tremendous price for kites?" "How many glass agates have you got?" +and so on--when Tom, looking very mischievous, suddenly lifted up dolly +by the toe of her shoe, and asked, "Why, Nelly, what's the matter with +this doll; has she got the spinal complaint?" + +"No, you goose," said Nelly, laughing. "What makes you ask that?" + +"Because she has on a supporter," said Tom, with perfect gravity, +pointing to the velvet belt. "Poor thing! why don't you take her in +bathing? It would do her health good, I'm sure; she looks fearfully +pale." + +"Ah, make him put her down, Nelly," said Baby; "he'll break her if he +goes on so;" for Tom was now amusing himself by balancing dolly on her +head in his hand, making a great display of embroidered trowsers and +hoop petticoats; and now, catching her by both hands, he suddenly swung +her over the railing. "This is the way she ought to be ducked under the +waves!" he added. Nelly sprang forward at the same moment with an "Oh, +Tom! please!" and caught his arm rather suddenly. His hold relaxed at +the same moment, and crash! down tumbled poor dolly on the ground below, +breaking one of her wax arms completely off, and making a fearful cavity +in her forehead, which killed her completely! that is, I should think +so. I never heard of any one who survived fracture of the skull. Did +you? + +Poor Nelly! She tried hard not to mind it; but dolly's head was one too +many for her, and the tears came rolling quickly down her cheeks as she +gazed at the unfortunate waxen damsel below, with quivering lip. Tom +turned red and white alternately in silence for a moment, and then began +pouring forth apologies and regrets. He called himself all the imps +that ever were heard of for being so careless; he offered to go to New +York that very day to buy another doll, and have his hair well pulled +beside, if she only would forgive him, and say she didn't think he had +done it on purpose; and, in short, we had quite a little scene; when, +fortunately, there occurred to me a pleasant means of diverting the +minds of the party from the accident that had happened. So I laid down +my paper, as though I had not been listening, and said: + +"Well, little people, I believe I have discovered all the news there is; +so what do you say to coming to a party I am thinking of giving in my +room?" + +"A party!" cried the children, dropping the subject of the doll to look +at me; "why, we should like that very much. What sort of a party is it?" + +"A reading party," I answered. "I have some papers I have been thinking +of reading to you, to get your opinion of them before I put them in a +book; and I shouldn't be surprised if there was a paper of candy in my +drawer besides." + +"Why, do you write books?" asked Baby, opening her bright eyes very wide +indeed, as if to be certain what a real live author looked like. + +"To be sure I do," I said, laughing. "Funny stories, and sad ones, too; +and some that are every word of them true, and others that are told me +by my friends; and you shall tell me whether they are true or not." + +So we all made haste into my room--not the same I had when I first came, +but one on the front piazza, near Neighbor Nelly's. The papers I meant +were my own, Tom's, and the Fat Gentleman's stories, which I had brought +down with me, to look over and correct. The candy I had bought for Nelly +and Jimmy, as I told you, and forgotten all about to that moment. Little +Robby came trotting along just then, so we asked him to be of the party; +and Mrs. Lawson, looking out to see why we were in such a bustle, made +up the company. + +I wish you could have been at Our Party that afternoon. We made a cosey +little group, I assure you. Mrs. Lawson sat by the table with her +sewing; Tom established himself close to my chair, and Nelly nestled by +my other side. Baby and Jimmy sat on hassocks, contrived from carpet +bags, at my feet; dear little Robby was lifted to my knee, and the +reading began. Oh, the laughter, and comical wonder, and blushes, when +my little neighbors found the stories were about them! Nelly burst out +with "Oh, Neighbor Oldbird!" and hid her face on my shoulder every time +there was some special praise of herself. Tom turned perfectly crimson +when we came to his story, and was in and out of his seat twenty times, +begging me to stop, during its progress, his splendid black eyes +glancing appealingly at me and Nelly by turns. I wouldn't spare him a +single word, however; and when I came to his declaration at the end, +concerning Nelly, there was a general shout of laughter. + +"There's an eligible offer for you, Miss Nell," I said solemnly. "You'd +better take it into consideration!" and so on, until Mrs. Lawson begged +me to stop. She did not like to have ideas about marriage put into the +children's heads; and I, when I reflected, was very sorry I had been so +thoughtless. Tom bore my teasing manfully; but Nelly's face was rather +grave, as if she did not like such remarks to be made about her; so I +hurried on to the Fat Gentleman's story, and brought up at the end, and +then handed round the candy, amid general approbation. + +How we all passed that evening together on the beach, and had a wildly +happy time; how we went in bathing the next day, and the next; and how, +on Wednesday afternoon, I bid a most reluctant good-by to my little +neighbors, I have not room to tell. I want to write how gladly we met +again in the city in the fall; how Tom did come to live in New York, and +favored us with his company as often as possible; how we chanced again +on the little girl whom we had met in the toy shop, and found her living +in a wretched tenement house in Cherry street, whence Mr. Lawson and I, +with some other friends, removed them in haste, and established them in +a nice little thread-needle store on one of the business avenues not far +from our street; but all this would take too long. + +I must say, though, what a blessed change it has been for them, +particularly for poor little crippled Clara, who never fails to greet us +with a smile when we go there to see her, as she sits in her comfortable +arm-chair by the window, with her pet spaniel "Dandy" beside her. She is +always contented and cheerful, in spite of the sharp pain that often +racks her slender limbs; and as I look on her pale face, which is so +plainly not long for this earth, and think that now her suffering life +will end amid comfort and peace, I whisper to myself with a heart full +of love, "All this through thy sweet influence, dear + + "NEIGHBOR NELLY!" + +FOOTNOTE: + +[A] Quarrelling. + + + + +CONCLUSION. + + +AND that was the end of the famous Sock Stories, which had afforded +George and Helen so much amusement during nearly three months; for it +took all that time for Aunt Fanny's daughter to write, and the children +to read them all. They could not tell which they liked the best; for it +so happened that the "Funny Little Socks" made their appearance just at +the time when some dear little cousins of theirs, only four or five +years old, had come to spend a week or two with them, which made baby +stories doubly welcome; and I don't know what the good and delightful +gentleman to whom the fifth book is dedicated will say about it, when he +sees his name at the front; but it was thought very appropriate by +Helen's papa; as the very best story in the book is all about +philosophers, grave and gay. + +One thing in particular I am most happy to record; and that is, that the +good habits which keeping mamma's little code of rules had engendered, +were not broken off at the close of the readings; but instead, were +formed more lastingly with every week; until now every one who knows +George and Helen says, the first thing, "What good children they are! +and yet, they never have to be whipped, or shut up in a dark closet to +make them so." No! they are good from a higher motive than the dread of +punishment; for they are inspired with the sincere desire to make their +dear mother as happy as they can; and it would not surprise me at all if +Santa Claus, who is a very discerning old gentleman, were to put +something very nice indeed in both socks and stockings this +Christmas--in spite of the hard times! + +And now, one last word, before Aunt Fanny's daughter bids you good-by, +little reader. She hopes and prays, in all sincerity, that she has +succeeded not only in amusing you, but in giving you some lessons which +will sink into your hearts for your real good. And if in the shadowy +train of personages who have moved before you in these Sock Stories, +there is one who has pleased you especially, from Colonel Freddy and +little tender-hearted Greta, to Little Mother and the Old Bachelor, +Neighbor Nelly, with her bright eyes and merry ways, or Gipsey, of the +cork-screw tail and yap! yap! bark, the knowledge of this fact will give +_her_ what she wishes for you all, a very + + MERRY CHRISTMAS! + + + THE END OF THE SIXTH AND LAST BOOK. + + * * * * * + +Transcriber's Notes: + +Page 026, "anx" changed to "any" (him any more) + +Page 32, "eat" changed to "ate" (We ate the) + +Page 086, "found" changed to "fond" (fond of tops and marbles) + +Page 126, "copmany" changed to "company" (made up the company) + + + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Neighbor Nelly Socks, by Sarah L. 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