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diff --git a/29595.txt b/29595.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..6418fb1 --- /dev/null +++ b/29595.txt @@ -0,0 +1,2073 @@ +The Project Gutenberg EBook of Funny Little Socks, by Sarah. L. Barrow + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: Funny Little Socks + Being the Fourth Book + +Author: Sarah. L. Barrow + +Release Date: August 3, 2009 [EBook #29595] + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ASCII + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK FUNNY LITTLE SOCKS *** + + + + +Produced by David Edwards, Emmy and the Online Distributed +Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net (This file was +produced from images generously made available by The +Internet Archive) + + + + + + + + +[Illustration: THE CHILDREN GIVING GAWOW A DANCE.] + + + + +THE SOCK STORIES, + +BY "AUNT FANNY'S" DAUGHTER. + + +FUNNY LITTLE SOCKS: + +BEING + +THE FOURTH BOOK OF THE SERIES. + +BY + +"AUNT FANNY'S" DAUGHTER, + +THE AUTHOR OF "THE LITTLE WHITE ANGEL." + + NEW YORK: + LEAVITT & ALLEN, 21 & 23 MERCER ST. + 1863. + + + + + ENTERED, according to Act of Congress, in the year 1862, by + S. L. BARROW, + In the Clerk's Office of the District Court of the United States + for the + Southern District of New York. + + + JOHN T. TROW, + PRINTER, STEREOTYPER AND ELECTROTYPER, + 60 Greene Street, New York. + + + + + TO + + DARLING LITTLE + + ALLIE BABY, + + These Funny Little Socks + + ARE AFFECTIONATELY + + DEDICATED. + + + + +CONTENTS OF VOL. IV. + + + PAGE + LITTLE MOTHER, 7 + DOLLS AT HOUSEKEEPING, 40 + THE FAIRY WISH, 102 + + + + +LITTLE MOTHER. + + +ONE day Kitty's mother called her little daughter to her, and taking +both her dimpled dots of hands in her own soft white ones, said, "Kitty, +my darling, I am going to New York this morning, to see your dear +grandma', and I shall have to leave the house in your charge until I +come back. Do you think you can be my little housekeeper for to-day?" + +"Oh yes, mamma! I should like that so much! I will keep house as well as +you--that is, 'most, not quite!" and Kitty jumped up and down for joy +at being trusted with such important affairs. + +"You must take care of dear little Luly and Walter, you know; see that +they have their dinners fixed right, and go out walking with them and +nurse; and if any company comes, you must go down and see them, and say +that mamma has gone to New York, will you?" + +"Yes, mamma; I will be just as good as pie!" said Kitty, earnestly; +"Luly and Wawa will like to have me for a mother, I guess." + +"Yes; you are their Little Mother for to-day," said her mamma. "I know +you love me, Kitty, and want to save me all the trouble you can; it +will be a great comfort to me, while I am away, to feel that I can trust +you perfectly;" and she kissed the little, rosy cheek, I'm sure I can't +tell how many times, and Kitty felt so proud and happy that she only +wished she had been trusted with a much larger family of little brothers +and sisters, instead of two; that she might show the more what an +excellent Little Mother she intended to be. You would wish so too, +wouldn't you! yes, of course! + +Kitty May lived with her papa and mamma, Luly and Walter, Mary the +nurse, and Betty the cook, three brown horses, two red cows, a black +dog, and a white kitten, at a beautiful country seat up the Hudson +River. She was only eight years old, but her obedience to her parents, +and tender, loving care of her little brother and sister, were beautiful +to see, and a shining example to some little girls I know. On the day +that I am telling you about, her papa had gone to town, as usual, early +in the morning, and now here was mamma going too, and Kitty would be +left to play lady of the house as grand as anything. + +Well, the carriage was brought to the door, and mamma got in, after +kissing her little family all round about twenty times. Everybody rushed +to the front piazza to bid her good-by in their own fashion. Trip, the +black dog, jumped and barked around the horses, until they nearly kicked +him, when he sprang away, snapping out, "No, you don't! no, you don't!" +Dody, the white kitten, so called by Walter for "Daisy," mewed as hard +as she could from Luly's arms. Walter crowed and chuckled, and said, +"Boo-bi!" meaning good-by; Luly lisped, "Dood-by, dear mamma, _div_ my +_yove_ to gan'ma;" and Kitty said, "Good-by, mamma; I'll be a famous +Little Mother--see if I'm not!" And so the carriage drove away. + +When it was quite out of sight, the little girls skipped and climbed, +and wee Walter was carried by nurse up stairs into the nursery; and +Kitty said, "Now, Mary, you can just go on with your sewing; you needn't +mind us a bit. I'm going to take care of _the children_; mamma said +so." + +"Very well, Miss Kitty," said Mary; "I'll sit in the window here, and if +you want me, you can call." + +So Mary fixed little Walter in his chair, and Luly got hers, and Kitty +sat down in her mamma's rocking chair, to be grander. + +Walter's chair had a little tray fastened before it, on which his toys +were put. His dearest plaything was a ridiculous old doll, with no eyes, +half a wig, such a dilapidated pair of kid arms that the stuffing came +bursting through in every direction, making her look as if she had a +cotton plantation inside her, and the bolls were sprouting out; and such +an extremely short pair of legs in proportion to her body, that it +seemed as if they must shut into her like a pair of telescopes. Besides +this, there was a stale sugar peacock without a tail, a monkey that ran +up and down a stick, and a woolly dog that could open his mouth and bark +when you pressed him underneath; but the doll was the prime favorite, +after all. Walter called her Gawow, and as nobody in the house could +imagine what he meant by it, it was supposed to be a pure piece of +invention, and a very fine sort of thing. + +The children played on peaceably together for some time, when all at +once there came a ring at the bell. + +"Dear me!" cried Kitty, springing up and smoothing down her little +black silk apron in a great flurry. "There comes company, and I'm to go +and see them." + +"Ou!" said Luly; "me want to see tompany too!" + +"And so you shall, you little darling!" said Kitty, kissing her; and, +sure enough, up came Ellen, the waiter, to say that the good minister, +Mr. Lacy, was down stairs; for Mrs. May had smilingly told her, before +she went, that "Miss Kitty would see any one who called." + +In high glee, yet somewhat awed by her grown-up dignity, Kitty let Mary +brush her soft brown braided wig and Luly's golden curly one; then she +rushed into her mother's room in a hurry, called Luly out into the +entry, and the little sisters took hold of hands and went down stairs to +see the company. + +Mr. Lacy was sitting by the window, looking out on the beautiful garden, +and did not know the children had entered until he felt a mite of a hand +put softly on his, and heard two little pipy voices saying, "How do you +do, Mr. Lacy?" The minister turned round and burst right out laughing! +for Kitty, when she ran into her mother's room, had put on--what do you +think?--why, one of mamma's caps, which was lying on the dressing table! +and the queer little thing looked so funny with the lace cap perched on +top of her head, that Mr. Lacy laughed heartily, and said, "Why, Kitty! +are you the old woman that lived in a shoe? or have you got bald all of +a sudden, that you have taken to caps?" + +"Oh, I'm Little Mother!" said Kitty; "mamma has gone to the city, and +left me to take care of _the children_, and the house, and Dody, and +Trip, until she comes back; and I'm Little Mother to all of them." + +"Well, Little Mother," said Mr. Lacy, who was none of your cross, +crabbed old ministers, with faces as sour as vinegar, and voices as +sharp as a needle, who frighten children half out of their wits, +forgetful that "of such is the kingdom of heaven;" "I hope your children +will be well brought up, and learn all they should. What does this one +know?" lifting Luly to his knee. + +"I know 'ittle hymn," said Luly, smiling up confidently in his face. + +"Can't you say it for me?" asked the minister. "What is it all about?" + +"'Bout 'at a 'ittle child can do," lisped Luly. + +"Say it, Luly," said Kitty. + +Luly folded her cunning fat hands over each other, and crossed her feet. +Then she looked up sideways in Mr. Lacy's face, and sucked her tongue a +little bit, and at last, all at once, in a little singing voice, she +began: + + "I'm a very 'ittle maid; + Hardly can I talk, 'tis true; + Yet mamma I'd love to aid-- + What can 'ittle Luly do? + + "I can go, on busy feet, + Errands for her all day through; + Work for her, I feel, is sweet-- + This can 'ittle Luly do! + + "I can hold the gate long skein + When 'tis tangled and askew; + Never wanting to _compain_[A]-- + This can 'ittle Luly do! + + "I can search, her book to find, + And be _glad_ to do it, too! + I can always _quickly mind_-- + This can 'ittle Luly do! + + "I can ever go up stairs + Cheerfully, when falls the dew; + And with _yev'yence_[B] say my prayers-- + This can 'ittle Luly do! + + "GOD will help me, if I try; + He good children loves to view; + Dear Lord Jesus, from on high, + _Pease_ tell Luly what to do!" + + +"Ah! that is a beautiful hymn," said the good minister. "Don't you know +any, Little Mother?" + +"I am learning a beautiful hymn," said Kitty, "but I don't know it +yet--not quite." + +"No?" said Mr. Lacy. "Then I shall have to tell you something myself, I +declare. Here, sit down beside me, and listen very attentively." + +Now, what do you think the minister told them? "Some dreadful, dismal +story, full of dreadful, wicked children, who were sent to prison, I +suppose; or an account of how, if _they_ ever dared to run down stairs, +or look out of the window, or sneeze in church, on Sundays, they never +would get to Heaven!" perhaps you will say. Not a bit of it. He just +trotted Luly up and down on his knee, and told them these funny verses: + + "Three little kittens from home ran away, + Oh dear! oh dear! + And did you not hear + All that befell them on that day? + Dilly, and Dolly, and Poppledy-polly-- + Did you ever hear, in your life, of such folly! + + "Out they ran from their mother's door, + And skipped, and tripped, + And danced, and dipped, + Way down the road, where they'd ne'er been before! + Dilly, and Dolly, and Poppledy-polly, + Oh deary! what _will_ be the end of their folly? + + "'Come let us go into this barn for mice!' + 'Oh don't!' 'Oh stuff! + I'm hungry enough + To eat anything that is sav'ry and nice!' + So quoth little Dolly and Poppledy-polly, + While Dilly looked on, quite aghast at their folly! + + "So in it they went, quite full of their fun, + And stared, and glared, + And meauoed, and scared + The poor little mice till they made them all run! + Dilly, and Dolly, and Poppledy-polly; + For Dilly, I'm sorry to say, shared their folly. + + "But, alas! while the kittens were hunting up mice, + And munching, and crunching + Their smoking-hot _lunching_, + A boy came and caught them all up in a trice! + Dilly, and Dolly, and Poppledy-polly; + _Oh!_ OH! OH! what a shocking cli_max_ to their folly! + + "Oh, how they struggled and mewed in their fright! + And scratched, and snatched + At the dismal old patched + Bag they were thrust into, twisted up tight! + Dilly, and Dolly, and Poppledy-polly; + I warrant, they felt bad enough for their folly. + + "Soon to a stranger house they came; + 'Oh, ma'! oh, ma'! + Now, only see _thar_!' + Their captor cried out to an elderly dame; + While Dilly, and Dolly, and Poppledy-polly + Pricked up their ears, and lamented their folly. + + "'What, have you brought in a parcel of cats? + Go straight to the pond + And get 'em all drowned!! + I won't have them here, I can tell you; now s'cats!' + Poor Dilly, and Dolly, and Poppledy-polly + Set up a loud howl of distress at their folly! + + "Off scampered the boy till he came to the bank + Of a very deep pool; + Oh, wasn't it _cruel_! + And tossed in the bag!! To the bottom it sank!!! + With Dilly (oh!), and Dolly (oh!), and Poppledy-polly (oh! oh!), + And that was the end of their fun and their folly!" + + + MORAL. + + "So, children, I solemnly beg and implore, + Whatever you do, + (And you're torments a _few_,) + You'll never slip out of your dear mother's door; + Or, like Dilly, and Dolly, and Poppledy-polly, + You'll surely be made to repent of your folly!" + +The children were very much amused with this woful history, bursting out +laughing without any kind of fail when Poppledy-polly, of comical memory +and name, was mentioned. Luly said, "Oh, me _yike_ that name! me want to +call Dody Popply-polly." This made Kitty laugh more than ever, and they +had a great time chasing Dody round the hall, and catching her, to bawl +in her ears "Poppledy-polly!" by way of kindly informing her that was to +be her new name. + +Dody didn't seem to like it much, for she jumped out of Luly's arms with +a squeal and a flourish of her long tail, and scampered off faster than +ever each time. After watching them, and laughing for a while, Mr. Lacy +rose to go, saying: + +"Good-by, Little Mother; I must go and see some of the big mothers now. +Don't forget me on any account, and tell your mamma, when she comes +home, that I approve your style of housekeeping very much indeed." + +"Good-by, Mr. Lacy," said Kitty. "Thank you for your funny story." + +"Tank 'ou--funny 'tory!" repeated Luly after her sister. + +Mr. Lacy lifted the little thing up to his shoulder, and held her there +a minute, saying, "Good-by, Poppledy-polly! I hope, when I come again, +you will know another hymn to say." + +Luly didn't like much to be called Poppledy-polly, and she said, with +an air of considerable displeasure, "My name Luly May;" but when the +minister kissed her, and called her "his little lamb," she relented, and +cooed, "Me _yove_ 'ou, miniter!' + +Then something quite sorrowful happened; for two great tears gathered in +the minister's eyes, and came slowly rolling down his kind face. Ah! he +thought of his own little pet lamb, who once lisped, too, "Me yove 'ou;" +who said so now to the dear Jesus; and with that last thought came +comfort. Floy was only "sleeping"--and setting little Luly gently down, +Mr. Lacy laid a hand on each childish head, saying, "God bless you, my +little lambs," and went quietly away. The children watched him drive +off, and then capturing Dody once more--by the end of her tail this +time--Kitty popped her in her apron; and lugged her up stairs in +triumph. + +There they found Wawa, sitting on the floor, with an immense pair of +scissors held in both hands, and an expression of extreme horror on his +face. Mary had left the room, and Kitty, running up to her baby brother, +pulled away the scissors in a great fright, exclaiming, "Why, Wawa! +where did you get those?" + +Wawa stared astonished for a moment, his great blue eyes opened very +wide indeed; then he bubbled out, "On yer fore (floor); yook! Gawow all +poil!" (spoiled); and poor Wawa puckered up his little rosy mouth, +and began to cry most piteously. + +[Illustration: KITTY POPPED HER INTO HER APRON] + +Luly popped on the floor beside him in a minute, and pulling his curly +head down on her breast, she murmured, "There--don't _c'y_, never +_matter_, dear _bedder_--s'eel get well!" while Kitty lifted up poor +Gawow, who was indeed in a pitiable condition. Walter had ornamented her +face with several deep digs of the scissors, which made her look as if +she had been to the wars and come home with a number of bullet holes in +her. Then, not satisfied with this--what does that monkey Wawa do but +rip up her whole body from the neck to the waist, and shake out every +bit of the bran all over the carpet! leaving the wretched Gawow with +not the least particle of insides. + +Did you ever hear of such a piece of mischief? But then Walter was such +a little fellow--not quite two years old; of course he didn't mean to do +anything wrong, and nobody thought of blaming him; so Kitty called Mary +to come and sweep up the bran, and Luly and Walter were soon happily +engaged in stuffing Gawow with rags, making her look as good as new--or +as good as old, I might say; for she was such a direful object in the +first place, that it seemed as though she must have been bought in that +condition, and never could have been otherwise; after which they +dressed her in her very best bonnet and frock, and treated her to a nice +dance in the garden, all taking hold of hands; until Mary looked out of +the window and called them to come up to dinner. + +Kitty was old enough, now, to dine with the grown folks, and behaved +like a perfect little lady, too; but on this occasion she was going to +take early dinner in the nursery. + +She and Luly helped Mary pull out the nursery table, and set the three +little plates upon it. Walter's dinner was some mashed potato, with just +a tiny mite of chicken among it, minced very fine, and made into an +elegant hill on his plate, and a "wishing bone" to suck. Luly had the +same, only with more chicken; and Kitty cut up her own wing and slice of +breast, with her particular knife and fork, as nice as you please. + +There was a great deal of merriment over the dinner, when Walter would +look away just as Mary gave him a spoonful of potato, watching her out +of the corner of his eye, though, and then bob round again and say +"Feed!" just as she had put it down, thinking he didn't want any more. +Then he insisted on making Gawow taste the wishing bone, and poked it +into both her eyes in succession, as if that was the usual way for +people to eat things. After they had finished the chicken and potato, +they had some nice custard pudding; and when dinner was over, Kitty +went right to the wash stand and _cleaned her teeth_, while Luly held up +her mouth to have Mary brush her little pearly teeth. Do you always do +this, little reader? If not, let me beg you to begin right away. Are +they done now? Very well, then let us go on with the story. + +Pretty soon after, the children were dressed to go out walking; for it +was in the early spring time when all this happened, and still pleasant, +in the cold country, to take the middle of the day for going out. So +Kitty and Luly had their little blue poplin "coat-dresses" buttoned on, +and the soft white woollen hoods tied under their rosy faces, and Walter +was decked out in _his_ new blue coat; which pleased him so much that +he distinguished himself immediately afterward by walking all alone away +from the door to the window, quite across the room, and there sitting +down suddenly on the floor, much to his astonishment. At last they were +all ready and started off, Kitty and Luly hand in hand, and Walter in +his little carriage. + +The road they liked best led along the top of a high bank, and was +called "Buena Vista" terrace. There were very pretty houses built along +here, shaded by tall trees; and if the children peeped cautiously over +the iron fence that guarded the edge of the bank, they could sometimes +see the steam cars rushing along the shore below. They were very fond +of watching the hurrying train go by, though it frightened them a +little, particularly when the engine gave a shrill scream before +stopping at the station about a quarter of a mile further on. Kitty and +Luly couldn't help squealing too when that happened, and then laughing +very much, and scampering on, playing they were steam engines. + +Just as they were passing by the prettiest house on the terrace, out +came a young lady that Kitty and Luly knew and loved dearly, with a +"tremendous dog" stalking slowly after her. + +"Why, Kitty!" she cried, "is that you? Nurse, do bring the children in. +I want to see them so much!" + +So Mary went to open the gate; but before she could do so, up marched +Buffo, the "tremendous dog," and lifted the latch with his nose! Oh, how +Kitty and Luly did laugh and clap their hands! but their enjoyment and +surprise were at full height when the kind young lady, whom they called +Miss Ella, lifted Luly, and Mary held Wawa, on Buffo's shaggy back, and +the good fellow carried them both safely to the house. Wawa crowed and +laughed, and drummed with his heels against the side of his charger; but +the brave dog never tried to shake him off, and just walked gravely +along, looking as trustworthy as possible. Then, when the little +children got off, Kitty mounted somewhat fearfully on Buffo's broad +back, and rode all around the grass plot, laughing with delight. + +After that, Miss Ella made them sit down in a great rocking chair on the +porch, wide enough for all three to get in at once, and asked them what +they had been doing that morning; and then Kitty told about her being +Little Mother, and Luly said, so funny, "Miniter tome see Luly and +Kitty, and tell funny 'tory 'bout Dilly, and Dolly, and Popply-polly; +and 'en--and 'en I talled Dody Popply-polly, and s'e wan away!" + +That amused Miss Ella very much, and pretty soon she opened her +work-box, took out a paper of lemon drops, and gave Luly, and Kitty, +and Wawa each a handful. Luly was a generous little puss, and wanted +every one to share her "goodies;" so she even offered a lemon drop to +Buffo, when, what do you think the great black fellow did? He just put +his great fore paws on Luly's lap, opened his wide red mouth, and eat up +every one of the drops at a mouthful! + +Poor Luly opened _her_ mouth in rueful astonishment, and looked very +much as if she was going to burst out crying; but Miss Ella consoled her +by giving her some more drops, and Wawa thrust one of his into her +mouth, saying, "Dog eat Luly's d'ops; Wawa torry." + +So they talked away till it was time to go; and then Miss Ella kissed +her little visitors; and Buffo wanted to kiss them too, with his warm +red tongue; but Luly took good care to be out of the way this time. I +expect the little thing thought he would eat her up like a lemon drop; +so Kitty let him lick her hand instead; and then Buffo let Miss Ella put +Luly and Wawa on his back again, and rode them down to the gate, where +they bid good-by to their kind friend. + +Tea was ready for them when they came back, and "when fell the dew" Luly +and Kitty went "cheerfully up stairs" to bed. And now a sweet, serious +expression came over Little Mother's face, and her great brown eyes were +filled with loving reverence, as Luly, in her little white night gown, +bent her golden curls on the lap of her sister, and lisped out "Now I +_yay_ me down to s'eep"--that dear, precious little verse that I think +all the children in the world must say; and prayed "Dear Jesus" to +"b'ess papa and mamma, and dear sister, and 'ittle bedder, and mate Luly +dood 'ittle child;" and as Little Mother's lips were murmuring those +words after her, the door opened, and there stood her own dear mamma and +papa, just home from the city; and oh! I can't tell you half how much +they loved their darling ones when they saw that sweet little scene. + +And then there was a merry frolic with papa, who rode Luly and Wawa on +both shoulders as well as Buffo did; and a happy time with dear mamma, +who brought them three great oranges from grandma', and ever so many +kisses for her share; and a holy, blessed time when that dear mamma +knelt by her precious Kitty's bedside, and prayed God to bless and keep + + LITTLE MOTHER. + +FOOTNOTES: + +[Footnote A: Complain] + +[Footnote B: Reverence.] + + + + +DOLLS AT HOUSEKEEPING. + + +OF all the sweet little ten-year old maidens that ever laughed and +danced through their happy lives, I don't suppose one had such a +wonderful doll's house, or such a fine family of dolls, as Lina. Let me +describe the family and their residence. + +In one of the upper rooms of Lina's house you would see, if you happened +to walk in, another whole house built. It is two stories high: its front +is red brick; and a flight of brown stone steps, made of sand-paper +glued over wood, leads up to the entrance. It has real sashes in the +windows, which open French fashion; a silver door-plate, with the name +of "Montague" upon it; and a little mat, about as large as a half +dollar, on the upper step! If we could make ourselves as small as dolls, +we might walk in, and find out that the hall has a dark wood floor, some +cunning little pictures hanging on the wall, a noble black walnut +staircase, and is lighted with a real little hall lamp. + +The parlor, on one side of this hall, has a velvet carpet on the floor, +satin chairs and sofas, a centre table covered with tiny books, an +etagere full of ornaments, and a wicker-work flower stand filled with +flowers. Real little mantel and pier glasses are over the fire place, +and between the front windows, which are hung with elegant lace +curtains; and there is, besides, a piano-forte, a gold chandelier stuck +full of china wax-candles, and a little clock that can wind up--though +as to its going, that has to be imagined, for it obstinately represents +the time as a quarter to twelve, morning, noon, and night! + +On the opposite side of the hall is the dining-room. It is furnished +with a fine side-board, holding a silver tea-set and some tiny glass +goblets and decanters; a round table, which is abominably disorderly, it +must be confessed, being spread with a table cloth all awry, and covered +with a grand dinner of wooden chickens and vegetables of various sorts; +a mould of yellow-glass jelly, and a pair of fancy fruit dishes, made of +cream candy. The dining-room chairs, with real leather seats, are +scattered about, and there is even the daily newspaper thrown down on +the floor, where the master of the house may have left it! Up stairs +there are three bedrooms, furnished in the same fashionable style; and, +in short, such an elegant doll's house is not to be found anywhere but +in a French toy shop. This one was brought from Paris by Lina's elder +brother, and set up in this very room last Christmas as a surprise for +his dear little sister. But it is time I should describe the family who +lived in this elegant mansion. So, little reader, if you will only take +fast hold of the end of the author's pen, shut up your eyes tight, and +then open them very quick on this page, heigh! presto! you and she will +be turned into little personages just the size of dolls, able to walk up +the brown stone steps, enter the house, and take a peep at the Montague +family. + +On a lounge by the parlor fire sits an elegant lady, who is rather +skimpy about the wig, and therefore holds the honorable post of mamma to +the family; as this circumstance, combined with her looking excessively +inky about the nose, gives her a somewhat aged and anxious appearance. +She wears a blue silk dress with five flounces, a lace cap, and a watch +and chain; and her name is Mrs. Charles Augustus Montague. Her husband, +_Mr._ Charles Augustus, is a china doll with a crop of rather scrubby +flaxen hair, which can be combed and brushed as much as Lina chooses. +Although he is so rich, he has only one suit of clothes, and must even +go to parties in a pair of checked gingham trowsers, a red vest, and a +blue coat with brass buttons! He is supposed to be down town at present, +which circumstance is represented by his being unceremoniously thrust +into a corner upside down. + +Several smaller wax and china boys and girls represent the family of the +ill-used Mr. Montague; but the belle of the whole doll-community is his +eldest daughter, Miss Isabella Belmont Montague. She is a waxen young +lady of the most splendid description; her hair is arranged like the +empress', whom, indeed, she greatly resembles; her feet and hands are of +wax, and she has more dresses than I can possibly count. I am afraid you +will scarcely believe me, but she actually has a real little ermine muff +and tippet, a pair of india-rubbers, an umbrella, a camels' hair shawl, +and _real corsets_! and was won, with all her wardrobe, at one of the +raffles in the great Union Bazaar. You went there, didn't you--you +cunning little kitten? and saw all the dolls? I hope you got one too, so +I do, certainly! + +[Illustration: LINA MAKING DOLLS' CLOTHES.] + +Besides the Montague family, there is a numerous colony of other dolls; +but they, poor things, live in any corner where Lina chooses to put +them; and all day Sunday are shut up in a dark closet, with nothing to +do but count their fingers and toes, if they can contrive to see them; +though they have nearly as fine a wardrobe--for Lina's great amusement, +next to playing with the whole colony, is to make new dresses for them. + +One Saturday afternoon, Lina was playing with her dolls in the baby +house, with two of her little neighbors, Minnie and Maggie Elliott, to +keep her company. It was a dark, rainy sort of day; but what difference +did that make to the children? _They_ never wanted to make a parcel of +stupid morning calls, or go out shopping and spend all their money on +silly finery; no--they were full of their play in the house, and didn't +care a doll's shoe-string how hard it rained. + +"Oh, dear!" said Lina at last; "seems to me this play is getting very +stupid! I wish we knew something else to play at but everlasting +'house!'" + +"I'll tell you what would be great fun!" said little Minnie, looking +wise. "You know, Lina, we spent a week once in the country with 'Alice +Nightcaps;' and her sister, 'Aunt Fanny's' daughter, showed us such a +nice, funny play! Instead of our being mothers, and aunts, and fathers, +and the dolls our children, the dolls were all the people themselves, +and we moved them about and spoke for them." + +"Yes, it was such a nice plan!" said Maggie; "you can't think, Lina. +Suppose we divide these dolls into families, and play that Miss Isabella +Belmont Montague was going to be married, and all about it." + +"Oh, yes! yes! that will be splendid!" cried Lina. "Whom will you +manage, Maggie?" + +"I'd rather have Miss Isabella," said Maggie. + +"And I want Mr. Morris," said Minnie. "He shall be the lover." + +"Very well, then I'll make the father and mother talk," said Lina, +generously taking the less splendid dolls, without a word of mean +complaint, such as "There, you hateful thing, you always want the best;" +or, "I _do_ wish I could do as I like with _my own_ dolls!" forgetting +that company must be allowed to take the best always. The other dolls +were equally divided between the children, and then Lina exclaimed, with +a delighted little skip in the air, "Now, we are all ready to begin! +Come, girls, what time shall it be?" + +"Oh, have them at breakfast!" chimed both the little visitors; and so, +in defiance of the parlor clock, the time of day was supposed to be +eight in the morning. The children, with many little chuckling pauses, +while they considered what to do next, twitched the unlucky table cloth +straight, put the tea-set on the table, and gave the family a wooden +beefsteak for breakfast, and a large plateful of wooden buttered toast, +which came from a box full of such indigestible dainties. Then they +fished Mr. Charles Augustus Montague out of the corner, and set him +upright in a chair at the head of the table, with his newspaper fastened +in his hands, by having a couple of large pins stuck through it and +them. The points of the pins showed on the other side, and looked as if +he had a few extra finger nails growing on the backs of his hands. Quite +a curiosity he'd have been for Barnum's Museum, wouldn't he? you +precious little old toad. + +Mrs. Montague was seated behind the tea-tray, and Miss Isabella was +reclining on a sofa up stairs, as if she was too lazy to come down when +the rest of the family did. As the front door was only large enough for +the dolls, the whole back of the house came away. Lina and her visitors +delightedly sat down cross-legged on the floor behind it, and the play +began, the children talking for the dolls. + + * * * * * + +MRS. MONTAGUE. (Lina speaks for her in a fine voice.) I wish you would +lay down your paper a moment, Charles; I want to speak to you. + +MR. M. Well, my dear, I am listening. + +MRS. M. No, you are not; put down the paper! [As this couldn't very well +be done by the gentleman himself, Maggie twitched it away for him, and +threw it under the table.] + +MRS. M. Now, Charles, I must say I think it is high time Isabella was +married. She is most six months old, I declare! and it strikes me we had +better see if we can find her a husband. + +MR. M. What you say is very sensible, my dear; so I will call to-day on +my friend Mr. Morris, and invite him to dinner. Perhaps they will fall +in love with each other. + +MRS. M. Oh! but is he handsome, Mr. Montague? + +MR. M. Handsome! I should rather think so! Why, he is nearly two feet +high, with curly black hair; a nose that can be seen at the side--which +is more than yours can be, Mrs. Montague--and eyes which open and shut +of themselves when he lies down or sits up. Then he is a Seventh +Regimenter, too, and always wears his uniform; which makes him look very +genteel. + +MRS. M. Oh, I am sure he must be lovely! Do bring him to dinner this +very day. + +Here Maggie made the dining-room door open, and in walked Miss Isabella. +She wore a pink merino morning dress, open in front, to show her +embroidered petticoat, a pair of bronze slippers with pink bows, and a +net with steel beads in it. Maggie set her down hard in one of the +chairs, and pushed her up to the table; while Minnie, who moved the +nigger boy doll, who waited on table, picked him up by his woolly +top-knot, from the floor, where he had tumbled, and made him hand the +young lady a cup of tea. Then Maggie began: + +MISS ISABELLA. Dear me, mamma! this tea's as cold as a stone! I wish you +would have breakfast a little later; as I'm so tired when I come home +from a party, that I can't think of getting up at seven o'clock. + +MRS. M. But you must get up, my love. Besides, we want plenty of time +to-day, so's we can be ready; for we are going to have company to +dinner. + +ISABELLA. Who is coming, mamma? + +MRS. M. Mr. Morris, my dear. + +ISABELLA. Oh, I am so glad! + +MRS. M. Yes, you're going to be married to-morrow, my dear; we will +invite all our relations and friends, and you must have a white satin +wedding dress; you certainly must. + +ISABELLA. How nice! S'pose we go out and buy it now. + +MRS. M. We can't go to-day; it's our _eceptin_ (reception) day, you +know. + +MR. M. Well, I 'spect I must go down town. Good-by, my dears. I shall +certainly ask Mr. Morris to dinner. He's a very nice young man for a +small dinner party. + +So the children made Mr. Montague kiss his wife and daughter; which they +did by bumping his china nose against their cheeks, until it nearly made +a dent in the wax; and then pranced him down the front steps, and put +him in his corner again. + +Then Minnie's doll came in. She took up Mr. Morris, a composition doll, +in a Seventh Regiment uniform, who had been bought at a fair, and began +moving him across the floor until he was opposite the door. Then she +commenced talking. + +MR. MORRIS. Why, I declare! here is Mr. Montague's house. I think I +will go in and make a call. + +And he ran up the steps, and pretended to ring the bell; but as it was +only a handle, Lina rang the dinner bell instead. + +MR. MORRIS. It's very funny they don't answer the bell! +(Ting-a-ling-ling.) Come! make haste, I want to get in. + +Here Minnie took up Toby, the black boy, carried him to the front door, +and kindly opened it for him. + +TOBY. Laws, massa! is dat you? I was jus' tastin' de jolly, to be sure +it was good for dinner! so I couldn't come no sooner. + +MR. MORRIS. Is Miss Isabella Belmont Montague at home? + +TOBY. Yes, massa, de ladies is to hum; walk in de parlor. + +So Mr. Morris came in (with Minnie's hand behind him), and sat down on +the sofa. It was rather small for him, and he covered it up so much that +there wasn't a bit of room for Miss Isabella, when she came down. Maggie +had dressed her meanwhile in her green silk skirt, which had real little +three-cornered pockets, with an embroidered pocket handkerchief sticking +out of one, and her white tucked waist. + +Up jumped Mr. Morris, and made her such an elegant bow, that his cap, +which he was obliged to keep on all the time, in consequence of the +strap being glued fast under his chin, fell all to one side; and looked +as if the top of his head had accidentally come off and been stuck on +crooked. + +MR. MORRIS. Good morning, Miss Isabella; how do you do? + +_Isabella_. Very well, thank you. How do you do, Mr. Morris? + +MR. MORRIS. Oh, Miss Isabella, I should be quite well if I hadn't +_sitch_ a pain in my heart! + +ISABELLA. A pain in your heart! What makes you have that, Mr. Morris? + +MR. MORRIS. YOU! + +ISABELLA. I! + +MR. MORRIS. Oh, Miss Isabella, you can't think how I adore you! I love +you so much that it makes my eyes shut up when I don't want them to; +and my heart beats so that it shakes my cap all to one side! + +ISABELLA. Dear me, Mr. Morris, you are quite _afflitted_! but never +mind--papa is going to have you to dinner to-day; you'd better go right +down town, so he can ask you. + +MR. MORRIS. But I can't eat any dinner, Miss Isabella, without you will +marry me! + +Here Minnie tried to make Mr. Morris pop down on his knees; but as he +wasn't a jointed doll, he lost his balance, and tumbled flat on his face +instead. + +MISS ISABELLA. Here, what are you doing? get up, do, and stop your +noise! [For Minnie couldn't help a long-sounding o--h! when her doll +flopped down. So Maggie made the young lady catch hold of Mr. Morris's +shoulder straps and help twitch him on the sofa again, to go on with his +proposal.] + +MR. MORRIS. Will you marry me, Miss Isabella? I'm such a nice young +man--you don't know--and we'll live in a real pretty house. + +MISS ISABELLA. No, I can't marry you till after you have come to dinner; +mamma said so. + +MR. MORRIS. Well, then, I must wait; but only say that you will have me. + +ISABELLA. Oh, yes! + +At this point the children laid down the dolls and broke into such a +merry trill of laughter, that it would have done anybody's heart good to +hear them. It seemed so funny to have the dolls making love in this +fashion, they couldn't help it. As soon as they were sober again, the +play went on thus: + +MR. MORRIS. Well, Miss Isabella, I b'lieve I must go now; I've got an +old sister at home, who will scold me if I don't come back. Can't you +'vite her too? She has a pretty bad time, poor thing! 'cause she is so +oldy that she is kept on a shelf till she's all dusty. Her wig is +dreadful fuzzy, and some of it comes out and stands up at the top. But +I'll dust her well and stick a pin in her wig to keep it on, and make +her look real nice, if you'll only ask her. + +ISABELLA. Well, I guess she can come; but she must have a new dress for +the wedding. + +MR. MORRIS. Yes, she shall, certainly. Good-by, Miss Isabella. I'm going +down town pretty soon, so your father can ask me to come. + +MISS ISABELLA. Oh yes, do! I want you to come _velly_ much. + + * * * * * + +"Now, Maggie, we must stop the play a little while," said Lina, "and fix +the dinner for them." + +"Yes, do," cried Maggie; "let's see, what shall be for dinner?" + +"Oh, chicken, that's the nicest!" said Minnie. + +"No, they had chicken yesterday," said Lina; "let them have roast +beef." + +"Very well," went on Maggie, who was looking over the dishes in the box +of "eatables," as Lina called them. "Roast beef, mashed potatoes, and +macaroni." + +"Oh, not macaroni," cried Minnie; "the cheese will bite their tongues." + +"Oh, yes! Mr. Morris likes macaroni," said her sister. + +"Well, macaroni, then; and plum-pudding for dessert--and apples." + +"Ah, make them have jelly," said Lina; "that's the prettiest thing in +the box." + +So the dinner was hunted out, and the three children set the table in +fine style; while Toby, the black boy, whose business it certainly was +to have done it, sat coolly in Mr. Montague's armchair, with his +master's newspaper in his lap, and goggled at the table without moving +an inch. Then Lina dressed Mrs. Montague, and Maggie and Minnie together +dressed Miss Isabella; and nobody dressed poor Mr. Morris, or Mr. +Charles Augustus Montague; because they unluckily had but one suit a +piece, sewed fast on to them at that. + +This time Miss Isabella wore a pink silk frock, with a deep puffing +round the bottom, finished at each edge with black velvet. Then she had +a long pink sash, edged with two rows of narrow black velvet; a pointed +belt encircled her waist, and the body of her dress was a mass of puffs, +with narrow black velvet between. On her head was a pink wreath, with +long ribbon ends hanging down her back; and tied fast to her wrist was a +pink feather fan with gold sticks. In fact, Miss Isabella looked rather +as if she were going to a party than coming down to dinner; but the +children thought the pink silk so charming, that she must wear it, +whether or no. + +Mrs. Montague wore a purple silk, a black lace shawl, and a head-dress +of pink rosebuds and black lace. + +When the ladies were fairly seated in the parlor, Lina rang the bell, +and Minnie and Maggie made Mr. Morris come in, leading his sister by the +hand. She was a dismal object to behold, sure enough! and if she could +have blushed for herself, I think she certainly would. She wore a green +barege dress, trimmed with flaming red ribbons; some of the gathers were +out at the waist, and her petticoat showed at the bottom. + +Mr. Morris, or Minnie--I don't know which--had stuck the ends of her wig +down for her once, but they had come up again, and looked as if her hair +had taken to growing with the roots uppermost. The end of her nose was +blacker than Mrs. Montague's, and her eyes, which moved with a wire like +other wax dolls, had got out of order somehow, and remained stationary, +with nothing but the whites showing; and, altogether, poor Miss Morris +looked like a two-legged rag-bag come home from the wars, with both +eyes out, half a nose, and no hair worth mentioning. + +Lina made Mr. Montague come home as soon as she was rid of the dinner +bell; and after they had all shaken hands until their wax and kid and +china wrists must have ached, the company rather unceremoniously marched +right into the dining-room. I suppose Mr. Montague was tremendously +hungry, and gave his wife's hand a good pinch when he shook it, to make +her hurry things up; but, however that may be, they were walked in to +dinner in straight order. Mr. Morris sat by Miss Isabella, with his +forlorn old sister on the other hand, and as the opposite side of the +table looked rather bare, Minnie proposed that some of the children +should come down to fill up. + +"Oh, yes--and let them be dreadfully naughty and do all sorts of +mischief," said Maggie. So Miss Angelina Seraphina Montague, and Master +Algernon Pop-eyes Montague (so called because he had glass eyes, which +stuck out in a lobster-ish fashion), were sent for in a hurry and +brought down by their nurse, a beautiful doll dressed as a French bonne, +and Maggie. Algernon wore the costume of a sailor boy, and Angelina was +no other than a nun in a black robe! But never mind, they did very well +to fill up, and sat smirking at the company very genteelly. + +So, then, Lina made Mr. Montague begin. + +MR. MONT. Will you take some roast beef, Miss Morris? + +ALGERNON. No, papa, help me first! + +MR. M. Algy Pop-eyes Montague! be still! Here, Toby, hand Miss Morris +her plate. + +ALGY. Don't you do it, Toby! + +MRS. M. Hush up, you naughty boy! + +MR. M. Mr. Morris, here's some meat for you. + +MRS. M. Take some macaroni, Mr. Morris; it's real good. + +MR. MORRIS. Thank you, ma'am; I think I will. + +So the company were helped; though, as the meat and vegetables were +glued fast to the dishes they were on, I'm afraid they must have had +rather a slim dinner. + +Then Maggie went on. + +MISS ISABELLA. Mr. Morris, I think I am rather tired of that uniform of +yours; it makes you look too high in the neck. When we are married, you +ought to have a dress coat. + +ANGELINA. H-a! h-a-a-a! he hasn't got any other coat! _I_ wouldn't marry +an old goose with only one suit! + +MRS. M. For shame, Miss! your father hadn't but one when we were +married; but, bless me! what _is_ Algernon doing? + +Sure enough, Master Algy _was_ doing something extraordinary, for Maggie +had made him overset the dish of potatoes in the middle of the table, +and then jump up and sit on the back of his chair, with both legs in the +air! + +MRS. M. My pasence! _what_ a naughty boy! Toby, take this bad boy right +up stairs; I am socked! (shocked.) + +ALGY. Oh, boo-hoo! boo-hoo! please let me stay! + +MRS. M. Well, then, behave yourself. + +MISS MORRIS. Mrs. Montague, I think you had _better_ send your children +away; they are too bad for anything. + +ANGELINA. Oh! oh! I wouldn't be your child for a dollar! ("That's just +what I say to my big sister!" put in Maggie in her proper person.) + +MRS. M. Oh, they are dear little things; they only do it in fun, Miss +Morris. + +MR. MORRIS. Well, I don't see it. If they were my children, I should +lock them up in a dark closet. + +MISS MORRIS. So should I. + +ANGELINA. H-a! h-a-a-a! that's just where you are kept yourself! + +MISS MORRIS. Oh, I _shall_ faint! + +MRS. M. Angelina! you sha'n't have any pudding for being so bad. There, +I guess it's time for dessert,"--and without condescending to ask if the +company were through dinner, Mrs. Montague, with a wave of her +lily-white kid hand, ordered Toby to clear away the dishes; and, the +pudding and jelly being put on the table, Lina went on: + +MR. M. Miss Morris, have some plum-pudding? + +TOBY. No, take some ob de jolly, missis; he so _jolly_ good! _I_ taste +um! + +Mr. M. Toby, I am _astonissed_! I shall have to discharge you to-morrow. + +"And have an Irishman come!" cried Minnie; "and talk funny, like our +Patrick!" + +"Yes, that will be real fun!" said Lina. "There, they have had dinner +enough; let them go in the parlor now." + +Accordingly, the company had their chairs pushed back for them and were +taken into the parlor, all but the naughty children, who had to be sent +straight to bed, they were so bad. Mr. and Mrs. Montague took +possession of the arm chairs, as they were the oldest; Miss Morris was +accommodated with an uncommonly hard ottoman without any back, in the +corner; Mr. Morris plumped down on the sofa, as that was the only seat +large enough for him, and the play went on (Minnie speaking). + +MR. MORRIS. Miss Isabella, I wish you would sing us a song. + +ISABELLA. Oh, really, I have _sitch_ a bad cold. I don't think I can. + +MR. MORRIS. Oh, please do, Miss Isabella! Sing that pretty song about +the little milkmaid. + +ISABELLA. Well, I'll see if I can. + +So Maggie made the young lady take a funny little scrap of music out of +the stand (called a Canterbury), and put it on the piano. The title of +the piece on the outside was, "Souvenirs de l'Opera," which means in +English "Recollections of the Opera," but it did just as well for a +song. Miss Isabella was seated at the piano, and Maggie moved her hands +up and down the keys, to look as if she were playing; while in her own +sweet bird-like voice she sang for her this song: + + "'Where are you going, my pretty maid? + Where are you going, my pretty maid?' + 'I'm going a milking, sir,' she said, + 'I'm going a milking, sir,' she said. + + "'May I go with you, my pretty maid? + May I go with you, my pretty maid?' + 'Yes, if you please, kind sir,' she said, + 'Yes, if you please, kind sir,' she said. + + "'What is your father, my pretty maid? + What is your father, my pretty maid?' + 'My father's a farmer, sir,' she said, + 'My father's a farmer, sir,' she said. + + "'Oh, then may I marry you, my pretty maid? + Then may I marry you, my pretty maid?' + 'Yes, if you please, kind sir,' she said, + 'Yes, if you please, kind sir,' she said. + + "'What is your _fortune_, my pretty maid? + What is your _fortune_, my pretty maid?' + 'My _face_ is my fortune, sir,' she said, + 'My _face_ is my fortune, sir,' she said. + + "'Oh, then I _can't_ marry you, my pretty maid! + But then I _won't_ marry you, my pretty maid!' + 'Nobody asked you, sir!' she said, + 'NOBODY ASKED YOU, SIR!!' she said!" + +The dolls all clapped their hands very hard when Miss Isabella finished +singing, as if they liked it "first rate." Mr. Morris leaned back so far +in his seat, either from admiration or because he was slipping off, +that his eyes suddenly shut up, and opened with a queer little pop +inside of him when Minnie righted him. As to Miss Morris, she glared at +the company with her old white eyeballs as if she was looking down +inside of herself to see how the pudding had agreed with her. + +Then Maggie went on. + +MISS ISABELLA. There! how do you like _that_? + +MR. MORRIS. Oh, thank you, Miss Isabella; it's the sweetest song I ever +heard. + +MRS. MONTAGUE. Won't you sing us a song, Mr. Morris? + +MR. M. No, I believe I must go now. I have all my things to pack up, so +we can start off travelling right away. Come, sister, stick the roots of +your hair in, and open your distressed looking eyes, and let us be off +home. + +"I wonder if her eyes _will_ open?" said Maggie. + +"Let's try!" said Lina. "Give the wire a good, hard pull." + +As she spoke, she caught hold of the wire and gave a tremendous jerk, +when, dreadful to relate, POP! out came poor Miss Morris's eyes +completely! and tumbled down somewhere inside of her! leaving two great +holes in her head of the most fearful description! + +The children stared at her in round-eyed astonishment. Now she was +certainly too hideous to come to the wedding; and the little girls +tried to look as sorry as they could for her, but it was no use; Miss +Morris was such a ridiculous object, that they all three burst into fits +of laughing. Lina, who had hold of the poor thing, shook so with glee, +that the eyes rattled up and down inside her head like a pack of +crackers going off, which made the children laugh still more. + +At last Minnie contrived to check herself, and made the brother say, +rather unfeelingly: + +Mr. Morris. There you go with your eyes out! A pretty figure you've made +of yourself. + +Miss Isabella. Oh! _oh!!_ OH!!! OH!!!! + +MRS. M. Goody, Isabella's got the hysterics! Get some water, quick! what +shall I do? + +MISS MORRIS. Oh, my eye! my eye! it's _sich_ a pain! + +MR. MONTAGUE. Toby, bring some water this minute. + +TOBY. (_Minnie brings him in with a pitcher._) Here, massa, here de +water. My! see de ole woman wid her eye out! ha! ha! + +MRS. M. Toby, put down that water, and go 'way. + +Minnie accordingly made believe that Toby was pouring water right on the +floor; then she turned the pitcher upside down in his hand, and spoke +for him. + +TOBY. Dere de water, missis. + +MRS. M. Oh! it's all over the carpet! How dare you, Toby? + +TOBY. Why, missis, you _told_ me to put down de _water_! + +MRS. M. Oh, I shall go distracted! + +MR. MORRIS. Come, sister, I 'spect you'd better go home and send for +Doctor Bumpstead! Maybe he can fish up your eyes again, and stick them +in right side out. A--h! good-by, Miss Isabella, good-by, Mrs. Montague! + +ALL THE DOLLS IN CHORUS. Good-by, a--h! + +"Oh! did ever anybody have such a funny play before!" cried Lina, fairly +dropping Miss Morris, and clapping her hands with delight. "I mean +always to play in this way." + +"Yes, it is so nice!" said Minnie. "But, come, Lina, how shall we dress +Miss Isabella to get married?" + +"Oh, she has a wedding-dress all ready," replied Lina; "white silk with +lace over." + +"Splendid!" cried both the sisters. + +"Now, if Mr. Morris could only have a plain suit, he would look so much +more like a bridegroom." + +"Well, perhaps sister will make him one," said Lina; "but what shall we +do with poor Miss Morris?" + +The recollection of Miss Morris's mishap set them off again laughing; +and finally they decided that she might come to the wedding, but must +keep her handkerchief to her eyes all the time, as if she were quite +overcome by having her brother married; as well she might be, for how +would her two holes instead of eyes compare with Miss Isabella Belmont +Montague's charms? + +This point settled, Lina and her little visitors were just beginning to +review the other dolls, to see who would look best at the wedding, when +a knock came at the door, and in walked Mary, Lina's nurse, to say that +Minnie and Maggie were sent for! + +"Oh, what a pity!" cried Lina. "I wish you could stay all day, and all +night, and all the rest of the time. It's too bad!" + +"Oh, that the afternoons were forty-'leven times as long!" said Maggie. +"Well, we must go, I suppose. Good-by, Lina; we'll come Monday +afternoon, if mamma will let us; and finish the play." + +So the children kissed each other, and Minnie and Maggie were bundled up +in their warm coats and hoods, and went home. As soon as they were gone, +Lina ran to her sister Alice with Mr. Morris, and begged her to make him +a suit of black to get married in, as Miss Isabella had expressed her +preference for that style of dress. Alice kindly promised she would, and +that very evening she hunted up some black cloth that was left from a +cloak of her mother's, and in a few hours Mr. Morris was rigged out in +the last style of fashion. Here is his carte de visite, taken in his +wedding clothes. You see, the photograph man left his own hat on the +table by mistake; doesn't it look funny? + +[Illustration: Portrait of Mr. Morris.] + +It was past Lina's bedtime before Mr. Morris was completely dressed; but +she was allowed to sit up "just this once," and when he was finished, +she kissed Alice a great many times, carried him off in triumph, and +shut him up tight in a box, for fear his clothes should get tumbled. + +Monday afternoon, Minnie and Maggie came again, bringing with them a +dear little wax doll of Minnie's, and a great paper of sugar-plums, to +"play party" with. When Mr. Morris had been sufficiently admired in his +new clothes, the children collected the other dolls, and put the +Montague family in their house again. Mr. Montague was left all alone in +the parlor to receive the company, and the ladies were up stairs in the +front bed room. Miss Isabella's wedding dress was spread out on the +elegant French bed, all ready for her to wear; and as it is a well-known +fact that a fashionable lady cannot possibly get dressed in less than +three hours, the time was put at nine o'clock, as the wedding would take +place at twelve. + +Lina then began the play: + +MRS. MONTAGUE. Come, my dear, it is time for you to dress; you've only +got three hours to get all ready in. + +MISS ISABELLA. Yes, mamma, I am putting on my shoes now. (That is, +Maggie was putting them on.) Oh, dear! they are a great deal too tight! +they hurt me _dreadfully_. Please let me take them off. + +MRS. M. No, they are not; they are a beautiful fit; don't be silly, +Isabella. + +ISABELLA. I think you are real mean! There, they are on; now I must put +on my dress. + +Here Maggie made her stand up, and Lina put on her dress and fastened +it. + +ISABELLA. Oh, my! what a beautiful dress! Can't I keep it on all the +time, mamma? + +MRS. M. Why, no; of course not! This is your wedding dress. + +ISABELLA. Well, then, I mean to get married over again next year, so I +can wear it some more. + +MRS. M. Now I must put on your veil, my dear, and then you will be all +ready. + +Here Maggie clapped her hands to express Miss Isabella's joy, while Lina +put on the veil. + +ISABELLA. Oh, how pretty I look! + +MRS. M. Don't be vain, Isabella. There, you are dressed; sit down now, +while I get ready. + +So Miss Isabella sat down with her new frock sticking out all around +her, like a perfect balloon, a most magnificent creature to behold! Her +dress was made of white silk, trimmed all round the bottom with deep +blonde lace, which was finished at the top with narrow silver cord. It +was looped up on one side with a bouquet of white flowers, with silver +leaves, and her waist was covered with a blonde lace bertha, and had a +bouquet of the same flowers on the front, called a _corsage_. She wore a +lace veil and a wreath of orange blossoms, and in her hand, tied fast +there, was another large bouquet, and a lace-bordered pocket +handkerchief. As to Mrs. Montague, she was hardly less splendidly +attired, in a mauve silk with eleven flounces, a lace collar and +sleeves, and a superb diamond breastpin--made of glass. + +Well, dear me, I don't know how I can find room enough to describe all +the splendid ladies that came to the wedding. They were none of them +quite as elegant as Miss Isabella Belmont Montague, but they all had on +their Sunday-go-to-meeting, Fourth-of-July, Christmas-and-New-Year's +best clothes, and looked as fine as fiddles. Poor Miss Morris came, with +her handkerchief up to her eyes, and stayed so all the time, crying as +if her heart would break, I presume. She was so dismal, in her old green +barege, that Minnie kindly dressed her in Mrs. Montague's purple silk, +which fitted her quite well; so she didn't look so _very_ bad, after +all. Aren't you glad? I am. + +Pretty soon in came the minister, who was no other than Angelina! as her +black nun's robe was the most like a gown that could be found; and when +she was set up with her back against the centre table, the parlor door +opened, and in marched the bride and bridegroom. Minnie and Maggie held +them in their proper places, and the minister married them in rhyme; +which, it strikes me, was a new style. This was what he said: + + "Now you're married, you must obey; + You must be true to all you say, + And live together all your life; + And I pronounce you man and wife!" + +When the marriage ceremony was over, the children set Mr. and Mrs. +Morris down side by side on the sofa, and leaving them to entertain the +company, and talk for themselves if they could, got the supper ready. +It was such a grand supper that they were obliged to have a table from +up stairs besides the dining table. Everything in the box of eatables +was brought out, even the roast beef and buttered toast, two dishes not +ordinarily seen at suppers. The sugar-plums were disposed around +wherever room could be found, and when everything was ready, Minnie took +Toby to the parlor door and made him say: + + TOBY. + Ladies and gentlemens, please to come to supper, + Plum cake, and cream cake, and white bread and butter. + +Up jumped Mr. Morris in such a violent hurry that he nearly tumbled +over, and offered his arm to his bride; which Minnie made him do by +bending it round, and pinning his kid hand fast to his waistcoat. +Maggie and Lina made the rest of the company walk after them in +procession, as fast as they could lift them up; and they all pranced and +paraded round by the back of the house into the dining room. Only poor +Miss Morris was left out, and she had tumbled off her chair, and was +lying behind the piano, on the top of her head, with one leg sticking +straight up in the air like an awning post, and the other foot +apparently boxing her ears, as it was turned back in a most +extraordinary manner, till it touched her head. + +Meanwhile, there were fine times going on in the dining room. Mr. +Montague took the foot of the table, and the bride and groom the head. +As soon as they were all seated, Mr. Montague said: + +MR. MONTAGUE. Ladies and gentlemen, don't you think we'd better drink +the bride's health? Here, Toby, give the company some wine glasses. + +MRS. M. Dear me, ladies, what a pity! there's only six goblets; so the +rest will have to drink out of teacups! + +ALL THE DOLLS (or all the three little girls, whichever you please). Oh, +never mind; that doesn't make any _difference_. + +MR. MONT. The bride, ladies and gentlemen! + +ALL THE DOLLS. Mrs. Morris! hurray! hurree! hurror! + +MRS. M. Now, Isabella, it's time for you to change your dress, my dear. +You are going travelling, you know. + +ISABELLA. Oh, what a pity! I don't want to take it off a bit! + +But, of course, she had to. It wouldn't have done to go travelling in a +white silk dress, would it, you dear little poppet? + +So Maggie took Miss Isabella (for they called her either that or Mrs. +Morris by turns, indifferently), away from table, and dressed her in her +gray travelling dress, which was trimmed with black velvet and small +steel buttons. Then she put on her second best bonnet, with a blue veil, +and her India-rubbers, in case it should be damp, and locked up the +wedding dress in her trunk, which was about as large as a candle box, +had a real little lock and key, and her initials painted on the side. +When she was all ready, down she came again, to take leave of her +relations and friends, who had eaten up all the wooden refreshments by +this time (though, strange to say, the dishes seemed as full as ever), +while Minnie, Maggie, and Lina eat up the sugar plums; and poor Miss +Morris sucked her thumbs, I suppose, for not a speck of anything else +did she get. + +There was a great time bidding good-by, and so many hard noses were +bumped against the bride's cheek this time, that they made a dent, which +looked quite like a dimple, and improved her appearance very much +indeed. As to Mr. Morris, nobody took the slightest notice of him, as is +usually the case with the bridegroom, but he didn't seem to mind it in +the least; for he went on smirking at the company as blandly as ever. +Perhaps he didn't want people's noses making holes in _his_ face; you +wouldn't want them made in _yours_, would you? you dear little Pinkey +Winkey! Bless your heart! there's dimples enough in that cunning face +already. + +But now the carriage was brought round to the door, for Mr. and Mrs. +Morris to go on their travels. It was made of--ahem!--tin, and was drawn +by two dashing tin horses, with tails like comets, and manes like +waterfalls, and such a great number of bright red spots painted all +over them, that they looked as if they had broken out with a kind of +scarlet measles. + +The bride and bridegroom were put in their places, the big trunk was +hoisted up in front, and away they went! and travelled all the way down +the entry to the head of the stairs, and through sister Alice's room to +the fireplace! My! what a long journey! 'most a hundred miles, I should +think! that is, it would seem so to dolls. + +Thus ended the grand play of Miss Isabella Belmont Montague's wedding, +which had taken two whole afternoons to finish, and which the children +thought the most _interestingest_ play that ever was. If you want to +know what became of her after that, I advise you to go right to Lina's +house and ask how Mr. and Mrs. Morris come on with their housekeeping! +That's all there is of this story--BOO!! + + + + +THE FAIRY WISH. + + +ONCE upon a time there lived a little old man, with his little old wife, +in a little old house that ran on wheels. Did you ever? Well, I never +did. + +The reason why the little old house ran on wheels was, that the little +old man used to keep a monkey show in it, and drove it about for a +caravan; with an old white horse, that had a blind eye, to draw it; but +now the monkeys were all dead and buried, and the little old man and +woman lived all alone-ty-donty. It had bright green blinds, bright red +sides, a bright blue door, and bright yellow steps. On the bright blue +door there was a bright brass knocker, which was polished up at such a +rate that you could see your face in it, looking as l-o-n-g as anything; +and underneath that was a bright brass door plate, with the old +showman's name, "Timmy Timmens," on it, which was also polished up until +you could see your face in it, looking as b-r-o-a-d as anything. Did you +_ever_? Well, I _never_ did! + +Inside there was a rag carpet of all the colors of the rainbow; a little +old four-post bedstead, with a patchwork counterpane; two high-backed +rocking chairs, with patchwork covers over the backs; a table with an +oil cloth cover, that had a little old tea tray on it, set up against +the wall; two bright brass candlesticks, and a china tea set; and in one +corner was a glass cupboard, which contained the other plates and +dishes. Hung against the wall over the mantlepiece was a sampler worked +by Mrs. Timmy Timmens when she was a girl, which represented Noah's ark, +with all the animals, of exactly the same size, done in cross stitch, in +such bright grass-green worsted that it quite set your teeth on edge to +look at it. Besides these, there was a little round stove, with a long +stove pipe, that came out on top of the caravan, and ended with a +flourishing weathercock, representing a fat old woman in a high gale, +with her umbrella turned inside out; which moved when the smoke came +puffing up harder than usual, and had no connection whatever with any +wind that blew. + +Now, Mr. Timmy Timmens and his wife, being mighty simple old people, +were fond of reading fairy stories, and believed entirely in every word +of them. They hadn't the smallest doubt that sprites and fairies were as +common as peas this very minute, and would have thought it quite a +matter of course if a wonderful gift had suddenly tumbled down the very +stove pipe, or a beautiful lady come bursting through the wall, and +offered to carry them off to fairy land in a mother-of-pearl chariot, +drawn by milk-white doves. If a cat looked hard at her and mewed +piteously, the little old woman would sigh, "Well, this _is_ fairy work, +I'll bet a crooked sixpence! She looks like an enchanted princess, poor +thing! don't she, Timmy, dear?" If a donkey brayed louder than usual, +and seemed more obstinate than ever before, the little old man would +exclaim, "There, I told you so! an unfortunate young man, of surpassing +beauty, enchanted in this dreadful shape by a wicked fairy! That's plain +to be seen! No wonder he utters such cries of distress!" and then they +both groaned together, and waggled their heads, and blew their noses so +exactly in time with two yellow silk pocket handkerchiefs, that people +thought two fishmen must be blowing their horns at once. Did _you_ +ever? Well, _I_ never did! + +[Illustration: THE OLD MAN AND WOMAN LOOKING FOR FAIRIES.] + +One fine morning the little old man and woman went out to take a walk on +the common; for the house stood right beside the road, in an empty field +of scrubby grass, with no fence round it. Just behind the house, to be +sure, was a paling, which enclosed a garden about as big as a good-sized +dining table, where the little old man and woman grew one or two +cabbages, two or three tomatuses, three or four potatuses, and four or +five radishes, for their own eating; but all the rest was just open +common. The old woman had a large basket in her hand, all ready to pop +down over any fairies she might see lying asleep in a bluebell, and the +old man was leaning heavily on his stick, as he was rather feeble, and, +besides, had the rheumatism in his big toe. + +"Dear me, Timmy," said the old woman, "what a good thing it would be, +now, if we could only find a kind fairy who would move our house for us +somewhere nearer the village. Now that poor old Dobbin is dead--killed, +I've no doubt, by a wicked enchanter--we can no longer get around from +place to place without stirring a step from the house; and we are so far +away, that we can't walk over to take tea with any of our neighbors. Do +let us keep a sharp lookout as we walk along, and see if we can't find +a fairy ring or a fairy flower." + +"With all my heart!" said Tim; and so they tottered along, peering very +hard into all the bushes, and hurrying to examine every little patch of +grass that looked greener and brighter than the rest, in the hope that +it was a fairy ring. All at once, the little old man stopped short, and +pointed with his stick at a beautiful spray of foxglove. + +"There!" cried Mr. Timmens. + +"Where?" cried Mrs. Timmens. + +"Right before your eyes!" said the little old man. "Don't you see it? A +fairy foxglove, as my name is Timmy Timmens!" + +"My goodness gracious, stars, and what's-his-names!" cried the little +old woman; "so there is! as sure as my name is Polly Timmens!" + +So the little old man and woman hurried up to the flower, and after +trying a great many times to stoop down, making their old joints crack +like so many torpedoes, Mrs. Polly succeeded in plucking it, and off +they went, pell-mell, hurry-scurry, to the little old house that ran on +wheels, to consult their fairy story books, and see what was the right +thing to be done in such a case! _Did_ you ever? Well, I never _did_. + +Down sat the little old man in _his_ rocking chair with the patchwork +cover, and down sat the little old woman in _her_ rocking chair with +the patchwork cover; and after a long consultation of the "Sorrows of +Prince Popinjay," and the "Wonderful History of the Princess Lillie +Bulero and the Fairy Allinmieyeo," they discovered that the proper way +to do was to hold the fairy foxglove in your hand exactly as the clock +struck twelve, at noon, and say + + "Rorum corum torum snoram, + Highcum tickleme cockolorum!" + +seven times; then shut your eyes tight and wish, stand on one leg and +turn round three times, and, presto! you would find, when you opened +your eyes, that your wish was accomplished! + +"Dear me!" cried Mrs. Polly Timmens when her husband had finished +reading this wonderful charm; "how lucky it is that we should be the +ones to find the fairy foxglove! just as we were wishing, too, for +something of the sort. Let me see, it is half past eleven now, I +declare! Timmy, my dear, I'll go into the garden and gather two or three +tomatuses and three or four potatuses for dinner, for it would be a +shame to leave our fine vegetables behind; and then, as the clock +strikes twelve, we'll try the fairy spell, wish that our house was in +the village, and see what comes of it." + +So the little old woman, taking a small basket off a nail, and a sharp +knife in her hand, went into the garden to gather the vegetables. Down +she plumped beside the bed, and began to dig and cut at the potatuses +to get them up. Her back was turned to the house, and the tall stalks +and thick leaves of the tomato bushes quite hid it from her view when +she sat on the ground, for she was a teeny-tawny little old woman. While +she was thus engaged, the little old man was sitting inside with the +book open in one hand, for fear he should forget the charm, and the +fairy foxglove tight in the other, waiting impatiently for her return. +The hands of the clock kept getting nearer and nearer to twelve, and at +last there was only one moment wanting to the time. + +"Why, goodness gracious me!" cried Mr. Timmy Timmens; "has Polly forgot +all about the fairy wish? I declare, I have a great mind to begin +alone." Just as he said these words, the clock began to strike! and at +the same moment a tremendous hullabaloo arose on the road. "There come +the fairies!" squeaked the little old man; and without waiting another +second, he stood straight up in the middle of the floor, and said, in a +trembling voice: + + "Rorum corum torum snorum, + Highcum tickleme cockolorum!" + +seven times over; then, shutting up his eyes as tight as possible, stood +on one leg, and cried, "Please, good fairy, Polly and I wish our house +was in the middle of the village!" + +Hardly had he said these words, than a long red object, that looked +wonderfully like a cow's tail, suddenly whisked in at the half open +door; the wind caught the door, and shut it to, slam! bang! and with a +jerk that made the bright brass knocker give a tremendous double knock +on the bright blue door, and sent the bright tin saucepans scattering in +every direction, the house started suddenly down on the road on a +double-quick trot! Did you EVER?! Well, I NEVER did!! + +It happened that a large drove of cows and oxen were going down to +market that day, and being very hot, and tired, and thirsty, they +naturally objected to being driven in that way any longer, and commenced +cutting a variety of capers that were enough to frighten you out of +your wits. At last one irascible little bull, who had been riding on the +other ones' backs, charging at all the innocent ducks, geese, and pigs +he could find on the road, and finally had tossed one of the men who +were driving him right up in the air, dashed on ahead, and, seeing the +little house with the bright red sides, took the color as a personal +insult to himself. Down went his head and up went his heels, and in +another minute he would have bounced right into poor Mr. Timmy Timmens' +dwelling, when one of the drivers saw him, and rushing up, gave him a +good whack with his whip. Master Bull turned round to see what was to +pay; in an instant his tail was caught in the door as I told you, +and, frightened half out of his wits, he galloped off, dragging the +little house on wheels after him, and roaring with pain, while the +drivers looked on, roaring with laughter. + +[Illustration: THE MAD BULL.] + +Meanwhile, the little old man remained standing on one leg, not daring +to open his eyes, for fear the charm would be broken, and only wishing +that the little old woman were with him. At last the house stopped, +moving with another jerk, that sent the little old man toppling back in +his rocking chair, and a moment afterward the door was opened a little +bit, and a strange voice said, "Well, here we are at the village, old +gentleman, begging your pardon," and then all was silent. + +Up jumped the little old man, opening his eyes very wide this time, +hobbled to the door, and looked out. There, sure enough, he was, in the +pleasant, shady village street, with the church directly opposite, so +nice for Sundays, and nothing to be seen but a drove of cows and oxen +going down the road at some distance! + +"Well, was there ever anything known like this?" cried Mr. Timmy +Timmens. "If this isn't the most wonderful fairy doings I ever heard of! +I must go right off to find Polly, and tell her the happy news." + +So saying, he went down the bright yellow steps, carefully shut the +bright blue door behind him, and toddled off as fast as he could to the +common. + +Now the little old woman, before she had finished digging up the +potatuses, found the sun very warm and herself very sleepy, and thinking +her husband would be sure to call her when twelve o'clock came, she just +got under the shade of the tomatuses, and went off in a nice nap. When +she woke, she jumped up in a hurry, exclaiming, "Why, bless me--how +could I have forgotten about twelve o'clock? I must make haste into the +house this minute." But where was the house? The little old woman stared +all around until she nearly stared her eyes out, but it was nowhere to +be seen. + +"Why, my goodness gracious, stars, and what's-his-names!" squealed the +little old woman, letting fall her knife and basket; "where has the +house runned to? Timmy must have tried the fairy charm without ever +telling me! I mean to go right to the village and see if it is there." + +So she gathered up her basket and knife, stuffed the basket, and her +apron, and her pockets with all the vegetables she could carry, and +started off for the village. Before she was half way there, however, she +met her husband. "Where is it?" "There it is!" they called at the same +moment, and falling into each other's arms and a mud puddle, they stood +for a long time, saying by turns: "Did you ever?" "No, I never!" "Would +you believe it?" "Not 'less I see'd it!" and then they took hold of +hands and trotted off to the little house that ran on wheels. + +There they found it, all high and dry, under a big apple tree, looking +as nice as ninepence. With joyful hearts they hurried inside, picked up +the saucepans, and cooked all the tomatuses and potatuses for dinner, +with an apple dumpling for dessert, made of some of the apples that had +fallen off the tree; and after that, the little old man and the little +old woman, and the bright green blinds, and the bright red walls, and +the bright blue door with the bright brass knocker, and the bright +yellow steps, all lived in peace and the middle of the village, +believing more firmly than ever in the existence of fairies, and never +doubting that their house had been moved solely by the miraculous power +of the fairy spell, + + "Rorum corum torum snorum, + Highcum tickleme cockolorum!" + +And if they're not dead they live there still! Don't you believe it? +Well I NEVER did! + + + + THE END OF THE FOURTH BOOK. + + + * * * * * + +Transcriber's Note: + +Obvious punctuation errors repaired. + +Page 18, the indentation of the third line on the stanza that begins, "I +can go, on busy feet" was adjusted to match the rest of the poem's +layout. The original looked like: + + "I can go, on busy feet, + Errands for her all day through; + Work for her, I feel, is sweet-- + This can 'ittle Luly do! + +Page 50, "_himed" changed to "chimed" (chimed both the little) + +Page 68, "barege" changed to "barege" (barege dress, trimmed) + +Page 74, there is a closing quote after Mrs. Montague speaks. +Although there is no opening quote, the closing quote indicates that +she's no longer speaking so it was retained. + +Page 76, "acommodated" changed to "accomodated" (Miss Morris was +accomodated) + +Page 104, "litle" changed to "little" (little old tea tray) + +Page 105, "throught" changed to "through" (through the wall) + + + + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Funny Little Socks, by Sarah. L. 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