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diff --git a/29562.txt b/29562.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..b4d0049 --- /dev/null +++ b/29562.txt @@ -0,0 +1,1591 @@ +Project Gutenberg's The Clock that Had no Hands, by Herbert Kaufman + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: The Clock that Had no Hands + And Nineteen Other Essays About Advertising + +Author: Herbert Kaufman + +Release Date: August 1, 2009 [EBook #29562] + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ASCII + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE CLOCK THAT HAD NO HANDS *** + + + + +Produced by Jana Srna, Alexander Bauer and the Online +Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net (This +file was produced from images generously made available +by The Internet Archive/American Libraries.) + + + + + + + + + + [ Transcriber's Note: + Every effort has been made to replicate this text as faithfully as + possible, including inconsistencies in spelling and hyphenation; + changes (corrections of spelling) made to the original text are + listed at the end of this file. + ] + + + + + The Clock that Had + no Hands + + And Nineteen Other Essays + About Advertising + + By + Herbert Kaufman + + + New York + George H. Doran Company + + + + + COPYRIGHT, 1908 + BY THE CHICAGO TRIBUNE + + COPYRIGHT, 1912 + GEORGE H. DORAN COMPANY + + + THE.PLIMPTON.PRESS + [W.D.O] + NORWOOD.MASS.U.S.A + + + + +Contents + + + PAGE + + The Clock that Had no Hands 1 + + The Cannon that Modernized Japan 7 + + The Tailor who Paid too Much 13 + + The Man who Retreats before His Defeat 19 + + The Dollar that Can't be Spent 25 + + The Pass of Thermopylae 31 + + The Perambulating Showcase 37 + + How Alexander Untied the Knot 43 + + If It Fits You, Wear this Cap 49 + + You Must Irrigate Your Neighborhood 55 + + Cato's Follow-up System 61 + + How to Write Retail Advertising Copy 67 + + The Difference between Amusing and Convincing 75 + + Some Don'ts when You Do Advertise 79 + + The Doctor whose Patients Hang On 85 + + The Horse that Drew the Load 91 + + The Cellar Hole and the Sewer Hole 97 + + The Neighborhood of Your Advertising 103 + + The Mistake of the Big Steak 109 + + The Omelette Souffle 113 + + + + +The Clock that Had no Hands + + +Newspaper advertising is to business, what hands are to a clock. It is a +direct and _certain_ means of letting the public know _what you are +doing_. In these days of intense and vigilant commercial contest, a +dealer who does not advertise is like _a clock that has no hands_. He +has no way of recording his movements. He can no more expect a twentieth +century success with nineteenth century methods, than he can wear the +same sized shoes as a _man_, which fitted him in his _boyhood_. + +His father and mother were content with neighborhood shops and bobtail +cars; nothing better could be had in their day. They were accustomed to +_seek_ the merchant instead of being sought _by_ him. They dealt "around +the corner" in one-story shops which depended upon the _immediate +friends_ of the dealer for support. So long as the city was made up of +such neighborhood units, each with a full outfit of butchers, bakers, +clothiers, jewelers, furniture dealers and shoemakers, it was possible +for the proprietors of these little establishments to exist and make a +profit. + +But as population increased, transit facilities spread, sections became +specialized, block after block was entirely devoted to stores, and mile +after mile became solely occupied by homes. + +The purchaser and the storekeeper _grew farther and farther apart_. It +was _necessary_ for the merchant to find a _substitute_ for his direct +personality, which _no longer served_ to draw customers to his door. _He +had to have a bond between the commercial center and the home center._ +Rapid transit eliminated distance but advertising was necessary to +inform people _where_ he was located and _what he had to sell_. It was a +natural outgrowth of changed conditions--the beginning of _a new era_ in +trade which no longer relied upon personal acquaintance for success. + +Something more wonderful than the fabled philosopher's stone came into +being, and the beginnings of _fortunes which would pass the hundred +million mark and place tradesmen's daughters_ upon _Oriental thrones_ +grew from this new force. Within fifty years it has become as vital to +industry as _steam_ to _commerce_. + +Advertising is _not_ a _luxury_ nor a _debatable policy_. _It has proven +its case._ Its record is traced in the skylines of cities where a +hundred towering buildings stand as a lesson of reproach to the men who +had the _opportunity_ but _not_ the _foresight_, and furnish a constant +inspiration to the _young merchant_ at the _threshold_ of his career. + + + + +The Cannon that Modernized Japan + + +Business is no longer a man to man contact, in which the seller and the +buyer establish a _personal_ bond, any more than battle is a +hand-to-hand grapple wherein bone and muscle and sinew decide the +outcome. _Trade_ as well as _war_ has changed aspect--_both are now +fought at long range_. + +Just as a present day army of heroes would have no opportunity to +display the _individual_ valor of its members, just so a merchant who +counts upon his direct acquaintanceship for success, is a relic of the +past--_a business dodo_. + +Japan changed her policy of exclusion to foreigners, after a fleet of +warships battered down the Satsuma fortifications. The Samurai, who had +hitherto considered their blades and bows efficient, discovered that +one cannon was mightier than all the swords in creation--_if they could +not get near enough to use them_. Japan profited by the lesson. She did +not wait until _further_ ramparts were pounded to pieces but was +satisfied with her _one_ experience and proceeded to modernize her +methods. + +The merchant who doesn't advertise is pretty much in the same position +as that in which Japan stood when her eyes were opened to the fact that +_times had changed_. The long range publicity of a competitor will as +surely destroy his business as the cannon of the foreigners crumbled the +walls of Satsuma. Unless you take the lesson to heart, unless you +_realize_ the importance of advertising, not only as a means of +_extending_ your business but for _defending_ it as well, you must be +prepared to face the consequences of a folly as great as that of a +duelist who expects to survive in a contest in which his _adversary_ +bears a _sword twice the length of his own_. + +Don't think that it's _too late_ to begin because there are so many +stores which have had the advantage of years of cumulative advertising. +The city is growing. It will grow even more next year. It needs +_increased trading facilities_ just as it's hungry for new +neighborhoods. + +_But it will never again support neighborhood stores._ Newspaper +advertising has reduced the value of being _locally prominent_, and five +cent street car fares have cut out the advantage of being "_around the +corner_." A store five miles away, can reach out through the columns of +the daily newspaper and draw your next door neighbor to its aisles, +while you sit by and see the people on your own block enticed away, +without your being able to retaliate or secure _new_ customers to take +their place. + +It is not a question of your ability to _stand the cost_ of advertising +but of being able to _survive without it_. The thing you have to +consider is not only an _extension_ of your business but of holding +_what you already have_. + +Advertising is an _investment_, the cost of which is in the same +proportion to its _returns_ as _seeds_ are to the _harvest_. And it is +just as preposterous for you to consider publicity as an expense, as it +would be for a farmer to hesitate over purchasing a _fertilizer_, if he +discovered that he could _profitably increase_ his crops by _employing_ +it. + + + + +The Tailor who Paid too Much + + +I was buying a cigar last week when a man dropped into the shop and +after making a purchase told the proprietor that he had started a +clothes shop around the corner and quoted him prices, with the assurance +of best garments and terms. + +After he left the cigar man turned to me and said: + +"Enterprising fellow, that, he'll get along." + +"But he _won't_," I replied, "and, furthermore, I'll wager you that he +hasn't the sort of clothes shop that will _enable_ him to." + +"What made you think that?" queried the man behind the counter. + +"His theories are wrong," I explained; "he's relying upon word of mouth +publicity to build up his business and he can't _interview enough +individuals_ to compete with a merchant, who has sense enough to say the +_same_ things he told you, to a _hundred thousand_ men, while he is +telling it to _one_. Besides, his method of advertising is _too +expensive_. Suppose he sees a _hundred_ persons every day. First of all, +he is robbing his business of its necessary direction and besides, he is +spending too much to reach every man he solicits." + +"I don't quite follow you." + +"Well, as the proprietor of a clothes shop his own time is so valuable +that I am very conservative in my estimate when I put the cost of his +soliciting at five cents a head. + +"Now, if he were _really_ able and clever he would discover that he can +talk to hundreds of thousands of people at a tenth of a cent per +individual. There is not a newspaper in town the advertising rate of +which is $1.00 per thousand circulation, for a space big enough in which +to _display what he said to you_." + +"I never looked at it _that_ way," said the cigar man. + +It's only "_the man who hasn't looked at it that way_," who hesitates +for an instant over the advisability and profitableness of newspaper +publicity. + +Newspaper advertising is the cheapest channel of communication ever +established by man. A thousand letters with one-cent stamps, will easily +cost fifteen dollars and not one envelope in ten will be opened because +_the very postage_ is an invitation to the wastebasket. + +If there were anything _cheaper_ rest assured that the greatest +merchants in America would not spend individual sums ranging up to _half +a million dollars a year and over_, upon this form of attracting +trade. + + + + +The Man who Retreats before His Defeat + + +Advertising _isn't_ magic. There is no element of the black art about +it. In its best and highest form it is _plain_ talk, _sane_ +talk--_selling_ talk. Its results are in proportion to the _merit_ of +the subject advertised and the _ability_ with which the advertising is +done. + +There are two great obstacles to advertising profit, and both of them +arise from ignorance of the _real_ functions and workings of publicity. + +The first is to advertise _promises_ which will not be +_fulfilled_,--because all that advertising can do when it _accomplishes +most_, is to influence the reader to _investigate_ your claims. + +_If you promise the earth and deliver the moon, advertising will not pay +you._ + +If you bring men and women to your store on _pretense_ and fail to _make +good_, advertising will have _harmed_ you, because it has only drawn +attention to the fact that you are to be _avoided_. + +It is as _unjust_ to charge advertising with _failure_ under these +conditions, as it would be for your _neighbor_ to rob a bank and make +you responsible for _his_ misdeed. In brief, _advertised_ dishonesty is +_even more profitless_ than _unexploited_ deception. + +The other great error in advertising is to expect more _out_ of +advertising than there is _in_ it. + +_Advertising is seed which a merchant plants in the confidence of the +community._ He must allow time for it to _grow_. Every successful +advertiser has to be _patient_. The time that it takes to arrive at +results rests entirely with the ability and determination devoted to the +work. But you cannot turn back when you have traveled half way and +declare that the _path_ is wrong. + +You can't advertise for a _week_, and because your store isn't crowded, +say it hasn't _paid_ you. It takes a certain period to attract the +attention of readers. Everybody doesn't see what you print the _first_ +time it appears. More will notice your copy the _second day_, _a great +many more_ at the end of a month. + +You cannot expect to win the confidence of the community to the same +degree that other men have obtained it, without taking pretty much the +same length of time that _they_ did. But you _can_ cut short the period +between your introduction to your reader and his introduction to your +_counters_, by spending _more_ effort in preparing your _copy_ and +displaying a greater amount of convincingness. + +You mustn't act like the little girl who sowed a garden and came out the +_next day_ expecting to find it in _full bloom_. Her father had to +explain to her that plants require _roots_ and that, although she could +not _see_ what was going on, _the seeds were doing their most important +work just before the flowers showed above ground_. + +So _advertising is_ doing its most _important_ work before the big +results eventuate, and to abandon the money which has been invested just +before results arrive, is not only foolish but childish. _It would be +just as logical for a farmer to desert his fields because he cannot +harvest his corn a week after he planted it._ + +Advertising does not require _faith_--merely _common sense_. If it is +begun in doubt and relinquished before normal results can be +_reasonably_ looked for, the fault does not lie with the newspaper nor +with publicity--the blame is solely on the head of the coward who +_retreated before he was defeated_. + + + + +The Dollar that Can't be Spent + + +Every dollar spent in advertising is not only a _seed_ dollar which +_produces a profit_ for the merchant, but is actually _retained_ by him +even _after he has paid it to the publisher_. + +Advertising creates _a good will_ equal to the cost of the publicity. + +Advertising _really costs nothing_. While it _uses_ funds it does not +_use them up_. It helps the founder of a business to grow rich and then +_keeps_ his business alive after his death. + +_It eliminates the personal equation._ It perpetuates confidence _in the +store_ and makes it possible for a merchant _to withdraw_ from +_business_ without having the _profits_ of the business _withdrawn_ from +_him_. It changes a _name_ to an _institution_--an institution which +will _survive_ its builder. + +It is really an _insurance policy_ which costs nothing--_pays_ a premium +each year instead of _calling for_ one and renders it possible to change +the entire personnel of a business without disturbing its prosperity. + +Advertising renders the _business_ stronger than the _man_--independent +of his presence. It permanentizes systems of merchandising, the track of +which is left for others to follow. + +A business which is _not_ advertised _must_ rely upon the _personality_ +of its proprietor, and personality in business is a decreasing factor. +The public _does not want to know the man_ who owns the store--it isn't +interested in _him_ but in his goods. When an unadvertised business is +sold it is only worth as much as its _stock of goods and its fixtures_. +There is no good will to be paid for--_it does not exist_--it has _not_ +been _created_. The name over the door _means nothing_ except to the +limited stream of people from the immediate neighborhood, any of whom +could tell you _more_ about some store ten miles away which has +regularly delivered its shop news to their breakfast table. + +It is as _shortsighted_ for a man to build a business which _dies with +his death_ or ceases with his inaction, as it _is unfair_ for him not to +provide for the _continuance of its income to his family_. + + + + +The Pass of Thermopylae + + +Xerxes once led a million soldiers out of Persia in an effort to capture +Greece, but his invasion failed utterly, because a Spartan captain had +entrenched a hundred men in a narrow mountain pass, which controlled the +road into Lacedaemon. _The man who was first on the ground had the +advantage._ + +Advertising is full of opportunities for men who are _first_ on the +ground. + +There are hundreds of advertising passes waiting for some one to occupy +them. The first man who realizes that his line will be helped by +publicity, has a _tremendous opportunity_. He can gain an advantage over +his competitors that they can never possess. Those who _follow_ him must +spend more money to _equal_ his returns. They must not only _invest as +much_, _to get as much_, but they must as well, spend an extra sum to +_counteract_ the influence that he has _already established_ in the +community. + +Whatever men sell, whether it is actual merchandise or brain vibrations, +can be _more easily_ sold with the aid of advertising. Not one half of +the businesses which _should_ be exploited are appearing in the +newspapers. _Trade grows as reputation grows and advertising spreads +reputation._ + +If you are engaged in a line which is waiting for an advertising +pioneer, realize what a wonderful chance you have of being the first of +your kind to appeal directly to the public. You stand a better chance of +leadership than those who have handicapped their strength, by permitting +you to _get on the ground_ before they could outstrip you. You gain a +prestige that those who _follow_ you, must spend more money to +_counteract_. + +If your particular line is _similar_ to some other trade or business +which has _already_ been introduced to the reading public, it's up to +you to start in _right now_ and join your competitors in contesting for +the attention of the community. The longer you _delay_ the more you +_decrease_ your chances of _surviving_. Every man who outstrips you is +another _opponent_, who must be met and grappled with, for _the right of +way_. + + + + +The Perambulating Showcase + + +The newspaper is a _huge_ shop window, carried about the city and +delivered daily into hundreds of thousands of homes, to be examined at +the leisure of the reader. This shop window is unlike the actual plate +glass showcase only in _one_ respect--it makes display of _descriptions_ +instead of _articles_. + +You have often been impressed by the difference between the decorations +of two window-trimmers, each of whom employed the same materials for his +work. The one drew your attention and held it by the grace and +cleverness and art manifested in his display. The other realized so +little of the possibilities in the materials placed at his disposal, +that unless some one called your attention to his mediocrities you +would have gone on unconscious of their existence. + +An advertiser must know that he gets his results in accordance with the +_skill_ exercised in preparing his verbal displays. He must make people +_stop_ and pause. _His copy has to stand out._ + +He must not only make a show of things that are attractive to the eye +but are attractive to the people's needs, as well. + +The window-trimmer must not make the mistake of thinking that the +showiest stocks are the most salable. The advertiser must not make the +mistake of thinking that the showiest words are the most clinching. + +Windows are too few in number to be used with indiscretion. The good +merchant puts those goods back of his plate glass which nine people out +of ten will want, once they have seen them. + +The good advertiser tells about goods which nine readers out of ten will +buy, if they can be convinced. + +Newspaper space itself is only the window, just as the showcase is but a +frame for merchandise pictures. A window on a crowded street, in the +best neighborhood, where prosperous persons pass continually, is more +desirable, than one in a cheap, sparsely settled neighborhood. An +advertisement in a newspaper with the most readers and the most +_prosperous_ ones, possesses a great advantage over the same copy, in a +medium circulating among persons who possess less means. It would be +foolish for a shop to build its windows in an alley-way--and just as +much so to put its advertising into newspapers which are distributed +among "alley-dwellers." + + + + +How Alexander Untied the Knot + + +Alexander the Great was being shown the Gordian Knot. "It can't be +untied," they told him; "every man who tried to do so, failed." + +But Alexander was not discouraged because the _rest_ had flunked. He +simply realized that he would have to go at it in a _different_ way. And +instead of wasting time with his _fingers_, he drew his sword and +_slashed_ it apart. + +Every day a great business general is shown some knot which has proven +too much for his competitors, and he succeeds, because he finds a way to +_cut_ it. The fumbler has no show so long as there is a brother merchant +who doesn't waste time trying to accomplish the impossible--who takes +lessons from the _failures_ about him and avoids the methods which were +their downfall. + +The knottiest problems in trade are: + + 1--The problem of location. + + 2--The problem of getting the crowds. + + 3--The problem of keeping the crowds. + + 4--The problem of minimizing fixed expenses. + + 5--The problem of creating a valuable good will. + +None of these knots is going to be untied by fumbling fingers. They are +too complicated. They're all inextricably involved--so twisted and +entangled that they can't be solved singly--like the Gordian knot _they +must be cut through at one stroke_. And you can't cut the knot with +anything but advertising--because: + + 1--A store that is constantly before the people makes its own + neighborhood. + + 2--Crowds can be brought from anywhere by daily advertising. + + 3--Customers can always be held by inducements. + + 4--Fixed expenses can only be reduced by increasing the volume of sales. + + 5--Good will can only be created through publicity. + +Advertising is breeding new giants every year and making them more +powerful every hour. Publicity is the sustaining food of a _powerful_ +store and the only strengthening nourishment for a _weak_ one. The +retailer who delays his entry into advertising must pay the penalty of +his procrastination by facing more giant competitors as each month of +opportunity slips by. + +Personal ability as a close purchaser and as a clever seller, doesn't +count for a hang, so long as other men are equally well posted and wear +the sword of publicity to boot. They are able to tie your business into +constantly closer knots, while you cannot retaliate, because there is no +knot which their advertising cannot cut for them. + +Yesterday you lost a customer--today they took one--tomorrow they'll get +another. You cannot cope with their competition because you haven't the +weapon with which to oppose it. You can't untie your Gordian knot +because it can't be _untied_--you've got to _cut_ it. + +You must become an advertiser or you must pay the penalty of +incompetence. + +You not only require the newspaper to fight for a more _hopeful +tomorrow_, but to keep _today's_ situation from becoming _hopeless_. + + + + +If It Fits You, Wear this Cap + + +Advertising isn't a crucible with which lazy, bigoted and incapable +merchants can turn incompetency into success--but one into which brains +and tenacity and courage _can_ be poured and changed into dollars. It is +only a short cut across the fields--_not_ a moving platform. You can't +"get there" without "going some." + +It's a game in which the _worker_--not the _shirker_--gets rich. + +By its measurement every man stands for what he _is_ and for what he +_does_, _not_ for what he _was_ and what he _did_. + +Every day in the advertising world is _another_ day and has to be taken +care of with the same energy as its _yesterday_. + +The quitter _can't survive_ where the _plugger_ has the ghost of a +chance. + +Advertising doesn't take the place of business talent or business +management. It simply tells what a business _is_ and _how_ it is +managed. The snob whose father _created_ and who is content to live on +what was _handed_ to him, can't stand up against the man who knows he +_must build for himself_. + +What makes _you_ think that _you_ are entitled to prosper as well as a +competitor who _works twice as hard_ for his prosperity? + +Why should as many people deal at _your_ store, as patronize a shop that +makes an endeavor to _get_ their trade and shows them that it is _worth +while_ to come to its doors? + +Why should a newspaper send as many customers to _you_, in _half_ the +time it took to fill an establishment which advertised _twice_ as long +and _paid twice as much_ for its publicity? + +This is the day when the _best_ man wins--after he _proves_ that he _is_ +the best man--when the _best_ store wins, when it has shown that it _is_ +the best store--when the best _goods_ win, after they've been +_demonstrated to be_ the best goods. + +If you want the _plum_ you can't get it by lying under the _tree_ with +your mouth open waiting for it to drop--too many other men are willing +to climb out on the limb and risk their necks in their eagerness to get +it away from you. + +It is a _man's_ game--this advertising--just hanging on and tugging and +straining all the time to _get_ and _keep_ ahead. It is the finite +expression of the law of Competition, which sits in blind-folded justice +over the markets of the world. + + + + +You Must Irrigate Your Neighborhood + + +Half a century ago there were ten million acres of land, within a +thousand miles of Chicago, upon which not even a blade of grass would +grow. Today upon these very deserts are wonderful orchards and +tremendous wheatfields. _The soil itself was full of possibilities. What +the land needed was water._ In time there came farmers who knew that +they could not expect the streams _to come to them_, and so they dug +ditches and _led the water to their properties_ from the surrounding +rivers and lakes; they tilled the earth with their _brains_ as well as +their _plows_--they became rich through _irrigation_. + +Advertising has made thousands of men rich, just because they recognized +the possibilities of utilizing the newspapers to bring streams of +buyers into neighborhoods that could be made busy locations by +irrigation--_by drawing people from other sections_. + +The successful retailer is the man who keeps the stream of purchasers +coming his way. It isn't the _spot itself_ that makes the _store_ +pay--it's the _man_ who makes the _spot_ pay. Centers of trade are not +selected by the public--they are created by the force which _controls_ +the public--the newspapers. + +New neighborhoods for business are being constantly built up by men who +have located themselves in streets which they have changed from deserted +by-ways into teeming, jostling thoroughfares, through advertising +irrigation. + +The storekeeper who whines that his neighborhood holds him back is +squinting at the truth--_he is hurting the neighborhood_. + +If it lacks streams of buyers, he can easily enough secure them by +reaching out through the columns of the daily and inducing people from +_other_ sections to come to him. Every time he influences a customer of +a competitor he is not only irrigating his _own_ field but is diverting +the streams upon which a _non-advertising_ merchant depends for +existence. Men and women who live next door to a shop that does not +plead for their custom will eventually be drawn to an establishment +_miles_ away because they have been made to believe in some advantage to +be gained thereby. + +The circulation of _every_ daily is nothing less than a _reservoir_ of +buyers, from which shoppers stream in the direction that promises the +_most value_ for the _least money_. + +The magic development of the desert lands, has its parallel in +merchandising of men who consider the newspaper an irrigating power +which can make _two_ customers grow where _one_ grew before. + + + + +Cato's Follow-up System + + +If a man lambasted you on the eye and walked away and waited a week +before he repeated the performance, he wouldn't hurt you very badly. +Between attacks you would have an opportunity to recover from the effect +of the first blow. + +But if he smashed you and _kept mauling_, each impact of his fist would +find you less able to stand the hammering, and a half-dozen jabs would +probably _knock you down_. + +Now advertising is, after all, a matter of _hitting the eye of the +public_. If you allow too great an interval to elapse between insertions +of copy the effect of the first advertisement will have worn _away_ by +the time you hit again. You may continue your scattered talks over a +stretch of years, but you will not derive the same benefit that would +result from a greater concentration. In other words, by appearing in +print _every_ day, you are able to get the benefit of the impression +created _the day before_, and as each piece of copy makes its +appearance, the result of your publicity on the reader's mind is more +pronounced--you mustn't stop short of a _knock-down impression_. + +_Persistence is_ the foundation of advertising success. Regularity of +insertion is _just as important_ as clever phrasing. The man who _hangs +on_ is the man who _wins out_. Cato the Elder is an example to every +merchant who _uses_ the newspapers and should be an inspiration to every +storekeeper who does _not_. For twenty years he arose daily in the Roman +senate and cried out for the destruction of Carthage. In the beginning +he found his conferees very unresponsive. But he _kept on_ every day, +month after month and year after year, sinking into the minds of all the +necessity of destroying Carthage, until he set all the senate thinking +upon the subject and _in the end_ Rome sent an army across the +Mediterranean and ended the reign of the Hannibals and Hamilcars over +northern Africa. _The persistent utterances of a single man did it._ + +The history of every mercantile success is _parallel_. The advertiser +who does not let a day slip by without having his say, is bound to be +heard and have his influence felt. Every insertion of copy brings +stronger returns, because it has the benefit of what has been said +_before_, until the public's attention is like an eye that has been so +repeatedly struck, that the _least touch_ of suggestion will feel like a +blow. + + + + +How to Write Retail Advertising Copy + + +A skilled layer of mosaics works with small fragments of stone--they fit +into more places than the _larger_ chunks. + +The skilled advertiser works with small words--they fit into _more_ +minds than _big_ phrases. + +The simpler the language the greater certainty that it will be +understood by the _least intelligent reader_. + +The construction engineer plans his road-bed where there is a _minimum +of grade_--he works along the lines of _least resistance_. + +The advertisement which runs into mountainous style is badly +surveyed--_all minds are not built for high grade thinking_. + +Advertising must be simple. When it is tricked out with the jewelry and +silks of literary expression, it looks as much out of place as _a ball +dress at the breakfast table_! + +The buying public is only interested in _facts_. People read +advertisements to find out _what you have to sell_. + +The advertiser who can fire the _most facts_ in the shortest time gets +the _most returns_. Blank cartridges _make noise but they do not +hit_--blank talk, however clever, is only wasted space. + +You force your salesmen to keep to solid facts--you don't allow _them_ +to sell muslin with quotations from Omar or trousers with excerpts from +Marie Corelli. You must not tolerate in your _printed selling talk_ +anything that you are not willing to countenance in _personal +salesmanship_. + +Cut out clever phrases if they are inserted to the sacrifice of clear +explanations--_write copy as you talk_. Only be more brief. Publicity is +costlier than conversation--ranging in price downward from $10 a line; +talk is not cheap but the most expensive commodity in the world. + +Sketch in your ad to the stenographer. Then you will be so busy "_saying +it_" that you will not have time to bother about the gewgaws of +writing. Afterwards take the typewritten manuscript and cut out every +word and every line that can be erased without omitting an important +detail. What _remains_ in the _end_ is all that _really counted_ in the +_beginning_. + +Cultivate brevity and simplicity. "Savon Francais" may _look_ smarter, +but more people will _understand_ "French Soap." Sir Isaac Newton's +explanation of gravitation covers _six pages_ but the schoolboy's terse +and homely "What goes up must come down" clinches the whole thing in +_six words_. + +_Indefinite talk wastes_ space. It is not 100% productive. The copy that +omits prices sacrifices half its pulling power--it has a tendency to +bring _lookers_ instead of _buyers_. It often creates false impressions. +Some people are bound to conceive the idea that the goods are _higher +priced_ than in _reality_--others, by the same token, are just as likely +to infer that the prices are _lower_ and go away thinking that you have +exaggerated your statements. + +The reader must be _searched out_ by the copy. Big space is cheapest +because it _doesn't waste a single eye_. Publicity must be on the +_offensive_. There are far too many advertisers who keep their lights on +top _of_ their bushel--the average citizen _hasn't time_ to overturn +your bushel. + +Small space is expensive. Like a _one-flake snowstorm_, there is not +enough of it to lay. + +Space is a _comparative matter_ after all. It is not a case of _how +much_ is used as _how it is used_. The passengers on the limited express +may realize that Jones has tacked a twelve-inch shingle on every post +and fence for a stretch of five miles, but they are _going too fast_ to +make out what the shingles say, yet the two feet letters of Brown's big +bulletin board on top of the hill leap at them before they have a chance +to dodge it. And at that it doesn't cost nearly so much as the _sum +total_ of Jones' dinky display. + +Just so advertisements attractively displayed every day or every other +day for a year in one big newspaper, will find the eye of _all_ +readers, no matter how rapidly they may be "going" through the +advertising pages and produce more results than a _dozen_ piking pieces +of copy scattered through _half a dozen_ dailies. + + + + +The Difference between Amusing and Convincing + + +An advertiser must realize that there is a vast difference between +_amusing_ people and _convincing_ them. It does not pay to be "smart" at +the line rate of the average first class daily. I suppose that I could +draw the attention of everybody on the street by painting half of my +face red and donning a suit of motley. I might have a sincere purpose in +wishing _to attract_ the crowd, but I would be deluding myself if I +mistook the nature of their attention. + +The new advertiser is especially prone to misjudge between amusing and +convincing copy. A humorous picture _may_ catch the eyes of _every_ +reader, but it won't pay as well as an illustration of _some piece of +merchandise_ which will strike the eye of every _buyer_. Merchants +secure varying results from the same advertising space. The publisher +delivers to each _the same quality of readers_, but the advertiser who +plants _flippancy_ in the minds of the community won't attain the +benefit that is secured by the merchant who imprints _clinching_ +arguments there. + +Always remember that the advertising sections of newspapers are no +different than farming lands. And it is as preposterous to hold the +publisher responsible for the outcome of unintelligent copy as it would +be unjust to blame the soil for bad seed and poor culture. _Every +advertiser gets exactly the same number of readers from a publisher and +the same readers_--after that it's up to him--the results fluctuate in +accordance with the intelligence and the pulling power of the _copy_ +which is inserted. + + + + +Some Don'ts when You Do Advertise + + + The _price_ of the gun never hits the _bull's eye_. + And the _bang_ seldom rattles the bells. + It's the _hand on the trigger_ that cuts the _real_ figger. + The _aim's_ what amounts--_that's_ what makes _record_ counts-- + Are _you_ hitting or just _wasting_ shells? + +_Don't_ forget that the man who writes your copy is the man who aims +your policy. + +When you stop to reflect what your _space_ costs and that the wrong talk +is just _noise_--_bang_ without _biff_--you must see the necessity and +_sanity_ of putting the _right man behind the gun_. + +_Don't_ tolerate an ambition on your ad-man's part to indulge in a +lurking desire to be a literary light. + +People read his advertising to discover what your buyers have just +brought from the market and what you are asking for "O. N. T." They buy +the _newspaper_ for information and recreation and are satisfied with +the degree of poetry and persiflage dished up in its _reading_ columns. + +_Don't exaggerate._ Poetic licenses are not valid in business prose. The +American people _don't_ want to be humbugged and the merchant who +figures upon too many fools, finds _himself_ looking into a mirror, +usually about a half hour after the sheriff has come to look over the +premises. + +_Don't imitate._ Advertising is a _special measure_ garment. Businesses +are not built in _ready-made_ sizes. Copy which fits somebody else's +selling plans, won't fit your store without sagging at the chest or +riding up at the collar. Duplicated _argument_ and duplicated _results_ +are not twins. Your policy of publicity must be _specially_ measured +from your policy of merchandising. + +_Don't put your advertising in charge of an amateur._ Let somebody else +stand the expense of his educational blunders. Remember you are making a +plea before the bar of public confidence. Your ad-writer is an advocate. +_Like a bad lawyer, he can lose a good case by not making the most of +the facts at hand._ + +_Don't get the "sales" habit._ "Sales" are stimulants. When held too +often their effect is _weakening_. The merchant who continually yells +"_bargain_" is like the old hen who was always crying "fox." When the +real article did come along, none of her chicks _believed it_. + +_Don't use fine print._ Make it easy for the reader to find out about +your business. There are ten million pairs of eyeglasses worn in +America, and every owner of them buys something. + +_And Don't start unless you mean to stick._ The patron saint of the +successful advertiser _hates a quitter_. + + + + +The Doctor whose Patients Hang On + + +Out in China _all_ things are _not_ topsy turvy. _Physicians are paid +for keeping people well_ and when their patients fall ill, their weekly +remittances are stopped. The Chinese judge a medical man not by the +number of years _he_ lives, but by the length of time his patrons +survive. + +An advertising medium must be judged in the same way. The fact that it +has _age_ to its credit isn't so important as the _age of its +advertising patronage_. Whenever a daily continues to display the store +talk of the same establishment year after year, it's a pretty sure sign +that the merchant has _made money_ out of that newspaper, because no +publication can continue to be a losing investment to its customers over +a stretch of time, without the fact being discovered. And when a +newspaper is not only able to boast of an honor roll of stores that have +continued to appear in its pages for a stretch of decades, but at the +same time demonstrates that it carries _more_ business than its +competitors, it has _proven its superiority_ as plainly as a mountain +peak which rises above its fellows. + +The combination of _stability and progress_ is the strongest virtue that +a newspaper can possess. _Only the fit survive_--reputation is a +_difficult_ thing to _get_ and a harder thing to _hold_--it takes +_merit_ to _earn_ it and _character_ to _maintain_ it. There is a vast +difference between _fame_ and _notoriety_, and just as much difference +between a _famous newspaper_ and a _notorious one_. + +Just as a manufacturer is always eager to install his choicest stocks in +a store which has earned the respect of the community, just so a +retailer should be anxious to insert his name in a newspaper which has +_earned the respect of its readers_. The manufacturer feels that he will +receive a square deal from a store which has age to its credit. He can +expect as much from a newspaper which is a credit to its age! + +The newspaper which outlives the rest does so because it was _best +fitted to_--it had to _earn_ the confidence of its readers--and _keep +it_. It had to be a _better_ newspaper than any other and _better_ +newspapers go to the homes of _better_ buyers. Every bit of its +circulation has the element of _quality and staying power_. And it is +the _respectable_, _home-loving_ element of every community--not the +touts and the gamblers--toward which the merchant must look for his +business _vertebrae_--he cannot find buyers unless he uses the +_newspaper_ that enters their homes. And when _he does_ enter their +homes he must not confuse the sheet that comes in the back gate with the +newspaper that is delivered at the front door. + + + + +The Horse that Drew the Load + + +A moving van came rolling down the street the other day with a big +spirited Percheron in the center and two wretched nags on either side. +The Percheron was _doing all the work_, and it seemed that he would have +got along far better in single harness, than he managed with his +inferior mates _retarding_ his speed. + +The advertiser who selects a group of newspapers usually harnesses two +_lame_ propositions to every _pulling_ newspaper on his list, and just +as the van driver probably dealt out an _equal_ portion of feed to each +of his animals, just so many a merchant is paying practically the same +rate to a _weak_ daily, that he is allowing the _sturdy profitable +sheet_. + +Unfortunately the accepted custom of inserting the _same_ advertisement +in _every_ paper acts to the distinct disadvantage of the _meritorious_ +medium. The advertiser charges the sum total of his _expense_ against +the sum total of his _returns_, and thereby does _himself and the best +puller an injustice_, by crediting the less productive sheets with +results that they have _not_ earned. + +It's the _pulling power_ of the newspaper as well as the horse that +proves its value, and if advertisers were as level headed as they should +be, they would take the trouble to put every daily in which they +advertise _on trial_ for at least a month and advertise a different +department or article in each, carefully tabulating the returns. If this +were done, fifty per cent of the advertising now carried in weaker +newspapers would be withdrawn and the patronage of the stronger sheets +would _advance_ in that proportion. + +_There are newspapers in many a city that are, single handed, able to +build up businesses._ Their circulation is solid muscle and sinew--_all +pull_. It isn't the number of copies _printed_ but the number of copies +that reach the hands of buyers--it isn't the number of _readers_ but the +number of readers with _money_ to spend--it isn't the _bulk_ of a +circulation but the amount of the circulation which is _available_ to +the advertiser--it isn't _fat_ but _brawn_--that tell in the long run. + +There are certain earmarks that indicate these strengths and weaknesses. +They are as plain to the observing eye as the signs of the woods are +significant to the trapper. The _news_ columns tell you what you can +expect out of the _advertising_ columns. A newspaper _always finds_ the +class of readers to which it is _edited_. When its mental tone is _low_ +and its moral tone is _careless_ depend upon it--_the readers match the +medium_. + +No gun can hit a target _outside_ of its range. No newspaper can aim its +policy in _one_ direction and score in _another_. No advertiser can find +a different class of men and women than the publisher has found for +himself. He is judged by the company he keeps. _If he lies down with +dogs he will arise with fleas._ + + + + +The Cellar Hole and the Sewer Hole + + +A coal cart stopped before an office building in Washington and the +driver dismounted, removed the cover from a manhole, ran out his chute, +and proceeded to empty the load. An old negro strolled over and stood +watching him. Suddenly the black man glanced down and immediately burst +into a fit of uncontrollable laughter, which continued for several +minutes. The cart driver looked at him in amusement. "Say, Uncle," he +asked, "do you always laugh when you see coal going into a cellar?" The +negro sputtered around for a few moments and then holding his hands to +his aching sides managed to say, "_No, sah, but I jest busts when I sees +it goin' down a sewer._" + +The advertiser who displays lack of judgment in selecting the newspapers +which carry his copy often confuses the _sewer_ and the _cellar_. + +All the money that is put _into_ newspapers isn't taken _out_ again, by +any means. The fact that all dailies possess a certain physical +likeness, doesn't necessarily signify a similarity in character, and +it's _character_ in a newspaper that brings returns. The editor who +conducts a journalistic sewer, finds a _different_ class of readers than +the publisher who respects himself enough to respect his readers. + +What goes into a newspaper largely determines the class of homes into +which the newspaper goes. An irresponsible, scandal-mongering, +muck-raking sheet is certainly not supported by the buying classes of +people. It _may be_ perused by thousands of readers, but such readers +are seldom purchasers of advertised goods. + +It's the clean-cut, steady, normal-minded citizens who form the bone and +sinew and muscle of the community. It's the sane, self-respecting, +_dependable_ newspaper that enters their homes and it's the _home_ sale +that indicates the strength of an advertising medium. + +No clean-minded father of a family wishes to have his wife and children +brought in contact with the most maudlin and banal phases of life. He +defends them from the sensational editor and the unpleasant advertiser. +He subscribes to _a newspaper which he does not fear to leave about the +house_. + +Therefore, the respectable newspaper can always be counted upon to +produce more sales than one which may even own a larger _circulation_ +but whose distribution is in ten editions among unprofitable citizens. + +You can no more expect to sell goods to people who _haven't money_, than +you can hope _to pluck oysters from rose-bushes_. + +It isn't the number of readers _reached_, but the number of readers +whose _purses_ can be reached, that constitutes the value of +circulation. It's one thing to arouse _their attention_, but it's a far +different thing to get _their money_. _The mind may be willing, but the +pocketbook may be weak._ + +If you had the choice of a thousand acres of desert land or a hundred +acres of oasis, you'd select the fertile spot, realizing that the larger +tract had less value because it would be less productive. + +The advertiser who really understands how he is spending his money, +takes care that he is not pouring his money into _deserts and sewers_. + + + + +The Neighborhood of Your Advertising + + +Circulation is a commodity which must be bought with the same common +sense used in selecting potatoes, cloth and real estate. _It can be +measured and weighed_--it is _merchandise_ with a _provable_ value. It +varies just as much as the grocer's green stuff, the tailor's fabrics +and the lots of the real estate man. + +Your cook refuses to accept green and rotten tomatoes at the price of +perfect ones. She does not calculate the number of vegetables that are +_delivered_ to her, but those that she _can use_. When your wife selects +a piece of cloth she first makes sure that it will serve the purpose she +has in view. When you buy a piece of property you consider _the +neighborhood_ as well as the _ground_. Just so when you buy +_advertising_ you must find out how much of the circulation you _can +use_. You must judge the _neighborhoods_ where your copy will be read, +with the same thoughtfulness that you devoted to selecting the spot +where your goods are sold. + +A dealer in precious stones would be foolish to open up in a tenement +district, and equally short-sighted, to tell about his jewelry in a +newspaper largely distributed there. Out of ten thousand men and women +who might _see_ what he had to say not ten of them could _afford to buy +his goods_. These ten thousand readers would be mass without muscle. He +could make them _willing_ to do business with him, but _their incomes +wouldn't let them become customers_. + +One of the greatest mistakes in publicity is _to drop your lines where +the fish can't take your bait_. + +Circulation is, as you see, a very interesting subject, but very few +people know anything about it. It would surprise you to know that this +ignorance often extends to the business offices of newspapers. I have +known publishers to continually mistake the _class of_ their readers +and have met hundreds of them who had the most fantastic ideas upon the +figures of their circulation. + +While I would not be so harsh as to accuse them of anything more than +being _mistaken_, none the less their tendency to infect _others_ with +this misinformation renders it extremely advisable for _you to_ become a +member of the Missouri society--and "_be shown_." + +Don't rely solely on circulation statements. You don't understand the +tricks in their making. Make the newspaper which carries your +advertisement show you the list of its advertisers. A newspaper which +prints the most advertising, month after month, year after year, is +always the best medium. This is equally true in New York, Chicago, +Philadelphia, Kenosha and Walla Walla. + + + + +The Mistake of the Big Steak + + +Watch out for _waste_ in circulation. Find out _where_ your story is +going to be _read_. Don't pay for planting the seed of publicity in a +spot where you are not going to _harvest_ the results. + +The manufacturer of soap who has his goods on sale from Oskaloosa to +Timbuctoo doesn't care _how widely_ a newspaper circulation is +scattered. Whoever reads about his product is near to _some_ store or +other where it is sold--but you have just _one_ store. + +Buying advertising circulation is very much like ordering a steak--if +the waiter brings you a porter-house twice as big as your _digestion_ +can handle, you've paid twice as much as the steak was worth to _you_, +even if it _is_ worth the price to the restaurant man. + +You derive your profit not from the circulation that your +_advertisement_ gets, but from circulation _that gets people to buy_. + +If two newspapers offer you their columns and one shows a distribution +almost entirely within the city and in towns that rely upon your city +for buying facilities, your business can digest all of its influence. If +the other has _as much circulation_, but only _one third_ of it is in +_local territory_, mere bulk cannot establish its value to _you_--_it's +another case of the big steak_--you pay for more than you can digest. +That part of its influence which is concentrated where men and women +can't get your _goods_ after you get their _attention_, is _sheer +waste_. + +By dividing the number of copies he prints into his line rate, a +publisher may fallaciously demonstrate to you that his space is sold as +low as that of his stronger competitors, but if half his circulation is +too _far away to bring buyers_, his real _rate_ is double what it seems. +He is like the butcher who weighs in all the bone and sinew and fat and +charges you as much for the _waste_ as he does for the _meat_. + + + + +The Omelette Souffle + + +There is a vast distinction between distribution for the sake of +increasing the _circulation figures_ and distribution for the sake of +increasing the number of _advertising responses_. + +There is a difference between a circulation which strikes the _same_ +reader several times in the _same_ day and the circulation which does +_not_ repeat the individual. There is a difference between circulation +which is concentrated into an area from which every reader can be +expected to come to your establishment, if you can _interest_ him, and a +circulation that spreads over half a dozen states and shows its greatest +volume in territory so far from your establishment that you can't get a +buyer out of ten thousand readers. + +You've got to weigh and measure all these things when you weigh and +measure circulation figures. It isn't the number of copies _printed_, +but the number of copies _sold_--not the number of papers _distributed_, +but the number of papers distributed in _responsive_ territory--not the +number of readers _reached_, but the number of readers who have the +price to _buy_ what you want to _sell_--that determine the value of +circulation to _you_. + +You can take a single egg and whip it into an omelette souffle which +_seems_ to be a _whole plateful_, but the extra bulk is just _hot air_ +and _sugar_--the change in form has not increased the amount of egg +_substance_ and it's the _substance_ in circulation, just as it is the +_nutrition_ in the egg, that _counts_. + + + + +[ Transcriber's Note: + + The following is a list of corrections made to the original. The first + line is the original line, the second the corrected one. + + pronounced--you musn't stop short of a _knock-down impression_. + pronounced--you mustn't stop short of a _knock-down impression_. +] + + + + + +End of Project Gutenberg's The Clock that Had no Hands, by Herbert Kaufman + +*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE CLOCK THAT HAD NO HANDS *** + +***** This file should be named 29562.txt or 29562.zip ***** +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: + http://www.gutenberg.org/2/9/5/6/29562/ + +Produced by Jana Srna, Alexander Bauer and the Online +Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net (This +file was produced from images generously made available +by The Internet Archive/American Libraries.) + + +Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions +will be renamed. + +Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no +one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation +(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without +permission and without paying copyright royalties. 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