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+<pre>
+
+The Project Gutenberg EBook of Cogito, Ergo Sum, by John Foster West
+
+This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with
+almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or
+re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included
+with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org
+
+
+Title: Cogito, Ergo Sum
+
+Author: John Foster West
+
+Release Date: June 17, 2009 [EBook #29149]
+
+Language: English
+
+Character set encoding: ISO-8859-1
+
+*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK COGITO, ERGO SUM ***
+
+
+
+
+Produced by Greg Weeks, Stephen Blundell and the Online
+Distributed Proofreading Team at https://www.pgdp.net
+
+
+
+
+
+
+</pre>
+
+
+<div class="bk1"><p><i><small>Are the Spirit and the Flesh one and the same thing? Or are they separate
+entities, dependent and at the same time independent of each other? Perhaps
+some great Cosmic Law holds this secret. But the one Universal
+Element that we can depend upon, apparently, is The Lucky Accident.</small></i></p></div>
+
+<div class="bk2"><h1><b>cogito,<br />
+ergo<br />
+sum</b></h1>
+
+<h2><small><i>by ... John Foster West</i></small></h2>
+
+<p class="pr1"><b><big>A warped instant in Space&mdash;and
+two egos are separated from their
+bodies and lost in a lonely abyss.</big></b></p></div>
+
+<p class="cap"><span class="smcap">I&nbsp;think</span>, therefore I am. That
+was the first thought I had. Of
+course not in the same symbols,
+but with the same meaning.</p>
+
+<p>I awakened, or came alive, or
+came into existence suddenly, at
+least my mental consciousness did.
+"Here am I," I thought, "but
+what am I, why am I, where am
+I?"</p>
+
+<p>I had nothing to work with
+except pure reason. I was <i>there</i>
+because I was not somewhere
+else. I was certain I was <i>there</i>
+and that was the extent of my
+knowledge at the moment.</p>
+
+<p>I looked about me&mdash;no, I
+<i>reasoned</i> about me. I was surrounded
+by nothingness, by black
+nothingness, a vacuum. Immense
+distances away I could detect
+light; or rather, I could perceive
+waves of force passing around me
+which originated at points vast
+distances away, vast in relation
+to my position in the nothingness.</p>
+
+<p>There were waves of force all
+about me, varying in frequency.
+The nothingness was alive with
+waves of force, traveling parallel
+and tangential to each other without
+seeming to interfere one with
+another. I measured them, differentiated
+between them and
+finished with the task in a matter
+of seconds.</p>
+
+<p>How could I do it? It was one
+of the capabilities I was <i>created</i>
+with.</p>
+
+<p>What was I? I perceived the
+waves of force. I perceived great
+quantities of mass&mdash;solid, liquid,
+gas&mdash;whirling in vacuum, mass
+built up out of patterns of basic
+force. I searched my own being,
+analyzed myself. I was not gas.
+I was not solid. I was not even
+force. Yet I existed. I could
+reason. I was a beginning, a sudden
+beginning. And I had duration
+because I knew that time had
+elapsed since the moment I
+<i>awakened</i> though I had no means
+of telling how much time or of
+even naming the period.</p>
+
+<hr />
+
+<p>Could I really be <i>pure reason</i>?
+Can reason exist? Can rational
+entity exist without a groundwork
+of matter, or at least of force?</p>
+
+<p>It could. It must. I was rational
+entity and I existed. Yet I could
+find nothing of force, nothing to
+occupy space about my <i>self</i>. For
+all I could ascertain, I might have
+covered a one-dimensional point
+in eternity or I might have been
+spread throughout vast distances.</p>
+
+<p>From this reasoning I concluded
+that rational entity might
+occur either as some force unlike
+that of all natural phenomena in
+space, or as some combination of
+these forces at the moment beyond
+my own power to analyze,
+even detect. I finished with that
+for the time being.</p>
+
+<p>How did I come into being? I
+discarded the question as unanswerable
+temporarily. What was
+I before that instant I suddenly
+reasoned <i>cogito, ergo sum</i>? I could
+not say.</p>
+
+<p>How did I know I even existed,
+really? Obviously because I was
+capable of rational thought. But
+what was thinking? First it was
+perceiving and accepting my own
+existence; beyond that, it was
+recognizing the dark nothingness
+around me and the forces it contained.
+I had to exist.</p>
+
+<p>But how did I know nothingness
+was right? And how did I
+know its darkness was right? And
+how did I know the waves of force
+were <i>waves</i> and <i>force</i>? And how
+did I know matter was <i>matter</i> and
+that I was none of these?</p>
+
+<p>"Symbols," I reasoned. "I'm
+thinking in symbols. I could not
+reason without symbols; therefore
+I could not exist as I am without
+symbols to think with."</p>
+
+<p>Yet whose symbols were they?
+Where and how did I come by
+them? I could think back clearly
+to the instant of my creation, yet
+I had not invented the symbols in
+the interim of my existence, nor
+had they been given to me. What
+then? They were part of me when
+I came alive in this universe, had
+been <i>invented</i> some other time
+and elsewhere by someone else or
+by what I was before I became
+the entity of reason I now was.</p>
+
+<p>Then that first flash of perception
+in nothingness was not spontaneous.
+There was something
+behind it. I was something before
+that moment, in another era
+of time, perhaps a creature of
+substance. But what?</p>
+
+<p>I concentrated. I remembered
+the symbol <i>Marl</i>. I was or had
+been an entity <i>Marl</i>. Were there
+others back there, somewhere?
+There must have been, must be
+yet. Was I the only <i>Marl</i> who
+metamorphosed into this state of
+rational entity? Surely not. Yet
+I could contact no other rationale
+around me as far away as I could
+probe. How far was that? How
+could I know. Was it far enough
+to reach the other <i>Marls</i>, or were
+they scattered thinly throughout
+infinity around me like the flecks
+of mass?</p>
+
+<p>I was suddenly ill. The symbol
+<i>malaise</i> came to me as the proper
+description of my malady. I grew
+dizzy with my sickness. I wished
+to regurgitate, to cast off this
+cold, frightening sensation. Yet
+I was provided with no physical
+means of doing it. It filled me
+throughout all my thinking. It
+was I. I thought to exist. I
+thought depression, sickness.
+Therefore I was the malady and
+it was a hell of malcontent beyond
+symbolical description.</p>
+
+<p>What was wrong with me? I
+was frightened. I was concerned
+for my existence here alone. What
+was it called? The idea shimmered
+there on the fringe of perception,
+then fairly leaped into
+my consciousness. Existing alone
+as pure reason was worse than
+no-existence, was worse than
+dying or never having been at all.
+I need another <i>Marl</i>. To exist
+happily, I must have at least one
+other <i>Marl</i> to communicate with,
+to share my thoughts, to share my
+being.</p>
+
+<p>Is this a necessity, a condition
+peculiar to me as I am, as reason,
+or is it a condition that came
+across the barrier with me from
+that other state? It must be the
+latter. An entity of pure reason,
+having come into existence as
+reason, would need nothing but
+himself. Why? Because he would
+be <i>without emotion</i>.</p>
+
+<p>"I am <i>emotional</i>," I thought. "I
+am entity of almost pure reason,
+but I have inherited emotion from
+my previous state. It is a disorder
+of thought, but it can be a pleasant
+disorder when the emotion is the
+right one; or, if unpleasant, when
+satisfied.</p>
+
+<p>"But I could not have emotions
+as I am now. They are <i>cortical
+responses</i>, or are supposed to be.
+What is <i>cortical</i>? No, they are a
+sort of illogical reasoning, nothing
+physical&mdash;" The rest eluded me.</p>
+
+<p>"I am lonely," I thought.
+"Loneliness stems from fear and
+fear is a basic emotion. I am very
+lonely. I have been lonely for a
+long time, bringing it with me
+here. I would rather sate my loneliness
+than live to eternity, than
+know all there is to know. What
+can quell my loneliness? Another
+like me, another <i>Marl</i>&mdash;whatever
+a <i>Marl</i> is. I must have, must find
+another <i>Marl</i>."</p>
+
+<p>I began to search. I darted
+frantically about space like a
+frightened thing, though I could
+perceive no movement. I knew I
+passed from one area of space to
+another because I could measure
+slight changes in the position of
+the stars about me. I knew the
+points of light were <i>stars</i>.</p>
+
+<p>There was duration. I could
+not know how much. Eternity?
+A split second? But at last I
+discovered another like me. No,
+almost like me, but another <i>Marl</i>.
+The other entity had less of reason,
+more emotion. It was frightened
+and lonely. The <i>Marl's</i>
+whole existence was that of sickness&mdash;of
+loneliness, which is fear.
+The <i>Marl</i> was darting about madly,
+seeking, seeking a thing like
+itself. What was it, like me but
+different?</p>
+
+<p>As I came in, I measured our
+similarity and differences. Rationally
+we were identical, or almost
+so. Emotionally we were different,
+vastly different. "<i>Marls</i> appear to
+exist as rationale and emotion," I
+reasoned. "Beyond that I cannot
+go."</p>
+
+<p>The other <i>Marl</i> perceived me,
+darted frantically toward me, then
+slowed. We came together,
+touched like&mdash;<i>like two cautious
+fish meeting in a dark pool and
+touching mouths to substantiate
+identical species</i>.</p>
+
+<p>The other <i>Marl</i> was satisfied
+with my identity. It leaped frantically
+at me, raced around me,
+through me, finally stopped, pervading
+me, while <i>vibrating</i> in
+sheer relief and happiness. I felt
+the great fear-loneliness in the
+other <i>Marl</i> begin to recede and
+in its place came an almost overpowering
+euphoria. It was <i>contentment</i>,
+and it stemmed from
+the basic emotion <i>love</i>. I knew
+this at once.</p>
+
+<p>I suddenly realized that I too
+was relieved, that I was no longer
+sick with fear-loneliness. It was
+good, this existing of the other
+within me or simultaneously with
+me. Or was it I within the other?
+It sated our fear emotion and
+made, created a love-euphoria.</p>
+
+<p>"I am happy I found you," I
+communicated. "I was lonely for
+another <i>Marl</i>. You are a <i>Marl</i>?"</p>
+
+<p>The other hesitated, thinking.
+"No. I am <i>Pat</i>. I am different
+from you. But it is chiefly emotional.
+It is good."</p>
+
+<p>"You are a <i>Pat</i>," I returned in
+disappointment. "I had hoped to
+find another <i>Marl</i>."</p>
+
+<p>"Don't be disappointed," the
+<i>Pat</i> soothed. "We are alike, really.
+Almost so. Like&mdash;like flame and
+gas are both substance yet different.
+We are two types of the
+same thing. I am no longer
+frightened. I am no longer lonely.
+You are good for me."</p>
+
+<p>I was relieved because I wanted
+to be. I believed the other <i>Marl</i>&mdash;no,
+the <i>Pat</i>&mdash;because I wanted
+to believe. I did not bother to
+rationalize. I felt elation.</p>
+
+<p>"Then in that other time, that
+other place we both belonged to a&mdash;a
+common group, with another
+name?" I suggested.</p>
+
+<p>"I believe so," the <i>Pat</i> answered.</p>
+
+<p>"How was it when you came
+awake?" I asked. "Can you remember?"</p>
+
+<p>"I think so. I recall I was born
+here in fright because it was all
+wrong. I was not in my natural
+state, so it was not right." The
+<i>Pat</i> paused to think. "I remember
+there was great speed and I was
+born in fright. Were you?"</p>
+
+<p>"No," I answered. "I was not
+frightened at first. And I was
+never frightened to the degree you
+were. I was mostly lonely, which
+is related to fear. But when I
+first conceived of my existence
+here I was coolly logical. I
+awakened <i>reasoning</i>&mdash;realizing
+that I existed."</p>
+
+<p>"I suppose it has to do with
+our emotional differences," the
+<i>Pat</i> beside me or with me or within
+me communicated.</p>
+
+<p>"Do you recall where in space
+you came from?" I asked. "I must
+have been doubting my existence
+at first so intensely I did not observe.
+You seem to have taken
+your own being for granted, thus
+you were, perhaps, more observant."</p>
+
+<p>"I&mdash;I think so." The <i>Pat</i> hesitated
+and I knew it was observing
+the stars around us. "Yes. Come
+with me. I think I know where."</p>
+
+<p>I stayed with the <i>Pat</i>, a part of
+it, and we lurched through space.
+Rather, we ceased to exist at one
+point in space and existed in
+another. How far? Distances
+meant nothing.</p>
+
+<p>"It was here," the <i>Pat</i> informed
+me finally.</p>
+
+<hr />
+
+<p>Something was wrong here.
+The interweaving waves of force
+were all wrong. There was a
+disorder, a great cancer in space.
+The waves interfered with the
+progress of each other all along a
+great barrier. It was not natural,
+not like it was elsewhere.</p>
+
+<p>"Something is wrong with the
+waves of force crossing this area.
+They interfere with each other.
+New forces are created. Do you
+detect it?" I communicated.</p>
+
+<p>"I feel it," the <i>Pat</i> answered.
+"It is a sickness in space like&mdash;like
+our loneliness."</p>
+
+<p>I knew the comparison was
+ridiculous but I let it pass. "You
+said you came alive at great
+speed. I could have been traveling
+too. We must have plunged
+into this barrier. It seems to me
+that emotions must originate in a
+<i>physical</i> being; perhaps reason
+could be free, but not emotion.
+I don't know. But I have a
+theory. I believe our <i>physical</i>
+selves still exist somewhere in
+space. The barrier, perhaps, interfered
+with the normal functioning
+of our mental equipment.
+We exist at one point in space
+and we are thinking, experiencing
+emotions at another point. It's as
+if our minds are&mdash;are broadcasting
+our thoughts and emotions
+far away from our physical selves.
+Either that, or our rationales were
+torn free and only our emotions
+are broadcast. Does that sound
+logical?"</p>
+
+<p>"Yes," the <i>Pat</i> agreed, "I believe
+that is the answer."</p>
+
+<p>I felt that the <i>Pat</i> was pleased
+with my theory, that it greatly
+admired my reasoning. I also perceived
+that it had no idea what I
+meant by the explanation. I did
+not mind.</p>
+
+<p>"You said you were moving at
+great speed," I continued. "Can
+you remember the line, the direction
+you were traveling in?"</p>
+
+<p>The <i>Pat</i> hesitated only a moment.
+"Yes. You perceive the
+star cluster there, the triangular
+one? My heading was in that
+direction, but it was changing
+fast."</p>
+
+<p>"Then we could find nothing
+by traveling toward the triangular
+cluster?"</p>
+
+<p>"No. I was moving in an arc in
+the direction of the distorted
+square cluster there. Do you see
+it?"</p>
+
+<p>"Yes," I answered, knowing
+her use of the word <i>see</i> was unconscious.
+"That is Cetus."</p>
+
+<p>"Cetus?" The <i>Pat</i> was startled.
+"How do you know that?"</p>
+
+<p>"I don't know. The name came
+to me. It seemed right to call it
+that."</p>
+
+<p>"It&mdash;it's all so frightening!"</p>
+
+<p>I had no time for pampering
+our emotions, though I was at
+great peace with the <i>Pat</i> so near
+me. Time might prove vital.
+"Neither would it do any good to
+travel in the direction of Cetus,"
+I said.</p>
+
+<p>"No. No," the <i>Pat</i> communicated.
+"If there is any object of
+matter or force I was a part of
+in that other existence traveling
+through space, it is in an arc.
+The best we can do is take an
+arbitrary direction between the
+triangular cluster and the one
+called Cetus and hope to intercept
+the object, the other part of
+me, whatever it is."</p>
+
+<p>"Come with me," I ordered.</p>
+
+<p>I discovered the object of mass
+hurtling through space before the
+<i>Pat</i> did. It was symmetrical and
+metallic. I tore myself away from
+my companion and darted to meet
+it. I discovered it was a shell, a
+hollow thing, and I passed inside.
+There was a room there. There
+were projections and circles of
+transparent matter. I experienced
+the symbol <i>dials</i>.</p>
+
+<p>There were two other creatures
+seated close to the dials, things of
+matter, and their substance was
+protoplasm. But there was no
+rationale present in either of them.
+I examined the living matter of
+the smaller one swiftly. Organs
+seemed poised in a suspended
+state. The creature I observed,
+housed in a protective shell,
+seemed paralyzed or dead. I remembered
+the word <i>dead</i>.</p>
+
+<p>Then the <i>Pat</i> was with me
+again. "I&mdash;I feel something, <i>Marl</i>.
+I am frightened. What are they,
+those things there?"</p>
+
+<p>"They seem to be&mdash;" I stopped
+communicating.</p>
+
+<p>The <i>Pat</i> had disappeared!</p>
+
+<p>The thing of protoplasm nearest
+me was moving but I was no
+longer interested. I remember the
+<i>Pat</i> had touched the upper extremity
+of the creature and had
+vanished, had ceased to be.</p>
+
+<p>The old sickness was back. I
+was lonely. I wanted the other
+entity. I could not, did not wish
+to exist without the <i>Pat</i>.</p>
+
+<p>I darted frantically about the
+metal shell, here and there,
+searching, searching. Where was
+the <i>Pat</i>? I <i>screamed</i> for it. I
+thought <i>Pat</i> as far away as I could
+reach, but there was no reaction,
+no response at all.</p>
+
+<p>In my frenzy, I was back beside
+the creatures of protoplasm
+before I realized it, near the one
+I had not yet examined.</p>
+
+<p>"Perhaps they took her," I
+thought. It was not logical, but it
+was a hope. Hope is emotional;
+I was becoming more emotional
+than rational.</p>
+
+<p>I touched the larger of the two
+creatures, experimentally; moved
+cautiously inside it, searching,
+searching.</p>
+
+<p>Suddenly I was seized by a
+great force, an inexorable power
+that grasped me and wrenched
+me, tearing me from the point in
+space I had occupied a moment
+before. My perception blurred,
+but I was not frightened. Without
+the <i>Pat</i> I did not care what happened.
+I was intensely curious.
+"So this is how it is," I reasoned
+in a flash, "to <i>cease to be</i>."</p>
+
+<p>And I ceased to be....</p>
+
+<hr />
+
+<p>Marlow shook his head. I must
+have dozed, he thought. He
+glanced at the chronometer on the
+console ahead. No, only a minute
+or two had elapsed since the last
+time he had checked.</p>
+
+<p>"Sleepy head! Wake up and
+live!"</p>
+
+<p>He looked to his right. Pat sat
+in the navigator's seat smiling at
+him.</p>
+
+<p>"I didn't sleep, honestly," he
+protested. "We hit some sort of
+barrier back there. It knocked me
+out for a moment. I had the
+damnedest impression&mdash;"</p>
+
+<p>"Remember what you promised!"
+She swiveled the seat about
+to face him. "No more scientific
+lectures on the mysteries of space
+or I'll return to earth. You know
+my poor brain can't absorb it."</p>
+
+<p>"You win," he grinned, running
+calloused fingers through his greying
+crew-cut. He leaned forward
+and kissed her briefly. "How did
+an old space hermit like me ever
+win a flower-garden bride in the
+first place?"</p>
+
+<p>They laughed together, and he
+felt secure within the metallic shell
+surrounding them, no longer
+alone.</p>
+
+<div class="trn"><div class="figt"><a href="images/001-2.jpg"><img src="images/001-1.jpg" width="140" height="200" alt="" title="" /></a></div>
+
+<p><b><big>Transcriber's Note:</big></b></p>
+
+<p>This etext was produced from <i>Fantastic Universe</i> March 1954.
+Extensive research did not uncover any evidence that the U.S.
+copyright on this publication was renewed. Minor spelling and
+typographical errors have been corrected without note.</p></div>
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+<pre>
+
+
+
+
+
+End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Cogito, Ergo Sum, by John Foster West
+
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