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diff --git a/28847.txt b/28847.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..af40c28 --- /dev/null +++ b/28847.txt @@ -0,0 +1,1369 @@ +The Project Gutenberg EBook of Max and Maurice, by William [Wilhelm] Busch + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: Max and Maurice + a juvenile history in seven tricks + +Author: William [Wilhelm] Busch + +Translator: Charles T. Brooks + +Release Date: May 16, 2009 [EBook #28847] + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ASCII + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK MAX AND MAURICE *** + + + + +Produced by Suzanne Shell and the Online Distributed +Proofreading Team at https://www.pgdp.net (This file was +produced from images generously made available by The +Internet Archive/American Libraries.) + + + + + + + + + +Max and Maurice + +A + +Juvenile History + +IN + +Seven Tricks, + +BY + +WILLIAM BUSCH. + +FROM THE GERMAN BY + +CHARLES T. BROOKS. + + BOSTON: + LITTLE, BROWN, AND COMPANY, + 1902. + + + + + Entered according to Act of Congress, in the year 1870, by + ROBERTS BROTHERS, + In the office of the Librarian of Congress at Washington + + _Copyright, 1898,_ + BY LITTLE, BROWN, AND COMPANY. + + UNIVERSITY PRESS . JOHN WILSON + AND SON . CAMBRIDGE U.S.A. + + + + +MAX AND MAURICE. + +PREFACE. + + +[Illustration] + + AH, how oft we read or hear of + Boys we almost stand in fear of! + For example, take these stories + Of two youths, named Max and Maurice, + Who, instead of early turning + Their young minds to useful learning, + Often leered with horrid features + At their lessons and their teachers. + Look now at the empty head: he + Is for mischief always ready. + Teasing creatures, climbing fences, + Stealing apples, pears, and quinces, + Is, of course, a deal more pleasant, + And far easier for the present, + Than to sit in schools or churches, + Fixed like roosters on their perches. + But O dear, O dear, O deary, + When the end comes sad and dreary! + 'Tis a dreadful thing to tell + That on Max and Maurice fell! + All they did this book rehearses, + Both in pictures and in verses. + + + + +TRICK FIRST. + + +[Illustration] + + TO most people who have leisure + Raising poultry gives great pleasure + First, because the eggs they lay us + For the care we take repay us; + Secondly, that now and then + We can dine on roasted hen; + Thirdly, of the hen's and goose's + Feathers men make various uses. + Some folks like to rest their heads + In the night on feather beds. + One of these was Widow Tibbets, + Whom the cut you see exhibits. + +[Illustration] + + Hens were hers in number three, + And a cock of majesty. + Max and Maurice took a view; + Fell to thinking what to do. + One, two, three! as soon as said, + They have sliced a loaf of bread, + Cut each piece again in four, + Each a finger thick, no more. + These to two cross-threads they tie, + Like a letter X they lie + In the widow's yard, with care + Stretched by those two rascals there. + +[Illustration] + +[Illustration] + + Scarce the cock had seen the sight, + When he up and crew with might: + Cock-a-doodle-doodle-doo;-- + Tack, tack, tack, the trio flew. + +[Illustration] + + Cock and hens, like fowls unfed, + Gobbled each a piece of bread; + +[Illustration] + + But they found, on taking thought, + Each of them was badly caught. + +[Illustration] + + Every way they pull and twitch, + This strange cat's-cradle to unhitch; + +[Illustration] + + Up into the air they fly, + Jiminee, O Jimini! + +[Illustration] + + On a tree behold them dangling, + In the agony of strangling! + And their necks grow long and longer, + And their groans grow strong and stronger. + +[Illustration] + + Each lays quickly one egg more, + Then they cross to th' other shore. + +[Illustration] + + Widow Tibbets in her chamber, + By these death-cries waked from slumber, + +[Illustration] + + Rushes out with bodeful thought: + Heavens! what sight her vision caught! + +[Illustration] + + From her eyes the tears are streaming: + "Oh, my cares, my toil, my dreaming! + Ah, life's fairest hope," says she, + "Hangs upon that apple-tree." + +[Illustration] + + Heart-sick (you may well suppose), + For the carving-knife she goes; + Cuts the bodies from the bough, + Hanging cold and lifeless now + And in silence, bathed in tears, + Through her house-door disappears. + +[Illustration] + + This was the bad boys' first trick, + But the second follows quick. + + + + +TRICK SECOND. + + + WHEN the worthy Widow Tibbets + (Whom the cut below exhibits) + Had recovered, on the morrow, + From the dreadful shock of sorrow, + She (as soon as grief would let her + Think) began to think 'twere better + Just to take the dead, the dear ones + (Who in life were walking here once), + And in a still noonday hour + Them, well roasted, to devour. + True, it did seem almost wicked, + When they lay so bare and naked, + Picked, and singed before the blaze,-- + They that once in happier days, + In the yard or garden ground, + All day long went scratching round. + Ah! Frau Tibbets wept anew, + And poor Spitz was with her, too. + +[Illustration] + +[Illustration] + + Max and Maurice smelt the savor. + "Climb the roof!" cried each young shaver. + +[Illustration] + + Through the chimney now, with pleasure, + They behold the tempting treasure, + Headless, in the pan there, lying, + Hissing, browning, steaming, frying. + +[Illustration] + + At that moment down the cellar + (Dreaming not what soon befell her) + Widow Tibbets went for sour + Krout, which she would oft devour + With exceeding great desire + (Warmed a little at the fire). + Up there on the roof, meanwhile, + They are doing things in style. + Max already with forethought + A long fishing-line has brought. + +[Illustration] + + Schnupdiwup! there goes, O Jeminy! + One hen dangling up the chimney. + Schnupdiwup! a second bird! + Schnupdiwup! up comes the third! + Presto! number four they haul! + Schnupdiwup! we have them all!-- + Spitz looks on, we must allow, + But he barks: Row-wow! Row-wow! + +[Illustration] + + But the rogues are down instanter + From the roof, and off they canter.-- + Ha! I guess there'll be a humming; + Here's the Widow Tibbets coming! + Rooted stood she to the spot, + When the pan her vision caught. + +[Illustration] + + Gone was every blessed bird! + "Horrid Spitz!" was her first word. + +[Illustration] + + "O you Spitz, you monster, you! + Let me beat him black and blue!" + +[Illustration] + + And the heavy ladle, thwack! + Comes down on poor Spitz's back! + Loud he yells with agony, + For he feels his conscience free. + +[Illustration] + + Max and Maurice, dinner over, + In a hedge, snored under cover; + And of that great hen-feast now + Each has but a leg to show + + * * * * * + + This was now the second trick, + But the third will follow quick. + + + + +TRICK THIRD. + + + THROUGH the town and country round + Was one Mr. Buck renowned. + +[Illustration] + + Sunday coats, and week-day sack-coats, + Bob-tails, swallow-tails, and frock coats, + Gaiters, breeches, hunting-jackets; + Waistcoats, with commodious pockets,-- + And other things, too long to mention, + Claimed Mr. Tailor Buck's attention. + Or, if any thing wanted doing + In the way of darning, sewing, + Piecing, patching,--if a button + Needed to be fixed or put on,-- + Any thing of any kind, + Anywhere, before, behind,-- + Master Buck could do the same, + For it was his life's great aim. + Therefore all the population + Held him high in estimation. + Max and Maurice tried to invent + Ways to plague this worthy gent. + Right before the Sartor's dwelling + Ran a swift stream, roaring, swelling. + +[Illustration] + + This swift stream a bridge did span, + And the road across it ran. + +[Illustration] + + Max and Maurice (naught could awe them!) + Took a saw, when no one saw them: + Ritze-ratze! riddle-diddle! + Sawed a gap across the middle. + When this feat was finished well, + Suddenly was heard a yell: + +[Illustration] + + "Hallo, there! Come out, you buck! + Tailor, Tailor, muck! muck! muck!" + Buck could bear all sorts of jeering, + Jibes and jokes in silence hearing; + But this insult roused such anger, + Nature couldn't stand it longer. + +[Illustration] + + Wild with fury, up he started, + With his yard-stick out he darted; + For once more that frightful jeer, + "Muck! muck! muck!" rang loud and clear. + +[Illustration] + + On the bridge one leap he makes; + Crash! beneath his weight it breaks. + +[Illustration] + + Once more rings the cry, "Muck! muck!" + _In_, headforemost, plumps poor Buck! + While the scared boys were skedaddling, + Down the brook two geese came paddling. + +[Illustration] + + On the legs of these two geese, + With a death-clutch, Buck did seize; + +[Illustration] + + And, with both geese _well in hand_, + Flutters out upon dry land. + +[Illustration] + + For the rest he did not find + Things exactly to his mind. + +[Illustration] + + Soon it proved poor Buck had brought a + Dreadful belly-ache from the water. + +[Illustration] + + Noble Mrs. Buck! She rises + Fully equal to the crisis; + With a hot flat-iron, she + Draws the cold out famously. + +[Illustration] + + Soon 'twas in the mouths of men, + All through town: "Buck's up again!" + + * * * * * + + This was the bad boys' third trick, + But the fourth will follow quick. + + + + +TRICK FOURTH. + + + AN old saw runs somewhat so: + Man must learn while here below.-- + Not alone the A, B, C, + Raises man in dignity; + Not alone in reading, writing, + Reason finds a work inviting; + Not alone to solve the double + Rule of Three shall man take trouble: + But must hear with pleasure Sages + Teach the wisdom of the ages. + +[Illustration] + + Of this wisdom an example + To the world was Master Laempel. + For this cause, to Max and Maurice + This man was the chief of horrors; + For a boy who loves bad tricks + Wisdom's friendship never seeks. + With the clerical profession + Smoking always was a passion; + And this habit without question, + While it helps promote digestion, + Is a comfort no one can + Well begrudge a good old man, + When the day's vexations close, + And he sits to seek repose.-- + Max and Maurice, flinty-hearted, + On another trick have started; + Thinking how they may attack a + Poor old man through his tobacco. + Once, when Sunday morning breaking, + Pious hearts to gladness waking, + Poured its light where, in the temple, + At his organ sate Herr Laempel, + +[Illustration] + + These bad boys, for mischief ready, + Stole into the good man's study, + Where his darling meerschaum stands. + This, Max holds in both his hands; + +[Illustration] + + While young Maurice (scapegrace born!) + Climbs, and gets the powderhorn, + And with speed the wicked soul + Pours the powder in the bowl. + Hush, and quick! now, right about! + For already church is out. + +[Illustration] + + Laempel closes the church-door, + Glad to seek his home once more; + +[Illustration] + + All his service well got through, + Takes his keys, and music too, + And his way, delighted, wends + Homeward to his silent friends. + Full of gratitude he there + Lights his pipe, and takes his chair. + +[Illustration] + +[Illustration] + + "Ah!" he says, "no joy is found + Like contentment on earth's round!" + +[Illustration] + + Fizz! whizz! bum! The pipe is burst, + Almost shattered into dust. + Coffee-pot and water-jug, + Snuff-box, ink-stand, tumbler, mug, + Table, stove, and easy-chair, + All are flying through the air + In a lightning-powder-flash, + With a most tremendous crash. + +[Illustration] + + When the smoke-cloud lifts and clears, + Laempel on his back appears; + God be praised! still breathing there, + Only somewhat worse for wear. + +[Illustration] + + Nose, hands, eyebrows (once like yours), + Now are black as any Moor's; + Burned the last thin spear of hair, + And his pate is wholly bare. + Who shall now the children guide, + Lead their steps to wisdom's side? + Who shall now for Master Laempel + Lead the service in the temple? + Now that his old pipe is out, + Shattered, smashed, _gone up the spout_? + +[Illustration] + + Time will heal the rest once more, + But the pipe's best days are o'er. + + * * * * * + + This was the bad boys' fourth trick, + But the fifth will follow quick. + + + + +TRICK FIFTH. + + + IF, in village or in town, + You've an uncle settled down, + Always treat him courteously; + Uncle will be pleased thereby. + In the morning: "'Morning to you! + Any errand I can do you?" + Fetch whatever he may need,-- + Pipe to smoke, and news to read; + Or should some confounded thing + Prick his back, or bite, or sting, + Nephew then will be near by, + Ready to his help to fly; + Or a pinch of snuff, maybe, + Sets him sneezing violently: + "Prosit! uncle! good health to you! + God be praised! much good may't do you!" + Or he comes home late, perchance: + Pull his boots off then at once, + Fetch his slippers and his cap, + And warm gown his limbs to wrap. + Be your constant care, good boy, + What shall give your uncle joy. + Max and Maurice (need I mention?) + Had not any such intention. + See now how they tried their wits-- + These bad boys--on Uncle Fritz. + What kind of a bird a May- + Bug was, _they_ knew, I dare say; + +[Illustration] + + In the trees they may be found, + Flying, crawling, wriggling round. + +[Illustration] + + Max and Maurice, great pains taking, + From a tree these bugs are shaking. + +[Illustration] + + In their cornucopiae papers, + They collect these pinching creepers. + +[Illustration] + + Soon they are deposited + In the foot of uncle's bed! + +[Illustration] + + With his peaked nightcap on, + Uncle Fritz to bed has gone; + Tucks the clothes in, shuts his eyes, + And in sweetest slumber lies. + +[Illustration] + +[Illustration] + + Kritze! Kratze! come the Tartars + Single file from their night quarters. + +[Illustration] + + And the captain boldly goes + Straight at Uncle Fritzy's nose. + +[Illustration] + + "Baugh!" he cries: "what have we here?" + Seizing that grim grenadier. + +[Illustration] + + Uncle, wild with fright, upspringeth, + And the bedclothes from him flingeth. + +[Illustration] + + "Awtsch!" he seizes two more scape- + Graces from his shin and nape. + +[Illustration] + + Crawling, flying, to and fro, + Round the buzzing rascals go. + +[Illustration] + + Wild with fury, Uncle Fritz + Stamps and slashes them to bits. + +[Illustration] + + O be joyful! all gone by + Is the May bug's deviltry. + +[Illustration] + + Uncle Fritz his eyes can close + Once again in sweet repose. + + * * * * * + + This was the bad boys' fifth trick, + But the sixth will follow quick. + + + + +TRICK SIXTH. + + + EASTER days have come again, + When the pious baker men + Bake all sorts of sugar things, + Plum-cakes, ginger-cakes, and rings. + Max and Maurice feel an ache + In their sweet-tooth for some cake. + +[Illustration] + + But the Baker thoughtfully + Locks his shop, and takes the key. + +[Illustration] + + Who would steal, then, _this_ must do: + Wriggle down the chimney-flue. + +[Illustration] + + Ratsch! There come the boys, my Jiminy! + Black as ravens, down the chimney. + +[Illustration] + + Puff! into a chest they drop, + Full of flour up to the top. + +[Illustration] + + Out they crawl from under cover + Just as white as chalk all over. + +[Illustration] + + But the cracknels, precious treasure, + On a shelf they spy with pleasure. + +[Illustration] + + Knacks! The chair breaks! down they go-- + +[Illustration] + + Schwapp!--into a trough of dough! + +[Illustration] + + All enveloped now in dough, + See them, monuments of woe. + +[Illustration] + + In the Baker comes, and snickers + When he sees the sugar-lickers. + +[Illustration] + + One, two, three! the brats, behold! + Into two good _brots_ are rolled. + +[Illustration] + + There's the oven, all red-hot,-- + Shove 'em in as quick as thought. + +[Illustration] + + Ruff! out with 'em from the heat, + They are brown and good to eat. + +[Illustration] + + Now you think they've _paid the debt_! + No, my friend, they're living yet. + +[Illustration] + + Knusper! Knasper! like two mice + Through their roofs they gnaw in a trice; + +[Illustration] + + And the Baker cries, "You bet! + There's the rascals living yet!" + + * * * * * + + This was the bad boys' sixth trick, + But the last will follow quick. + + + + +LAST TRICK + + + MAX and Maurice! I grow sick, + When I think on your last trick. + +[Illustration] + + Why must these two scalawags + Cut those gashes in the bags? + +[Illustration] + + See! the farmer on his back + Carries corn off in a sack. + +[Illustration] + + Scarce has he begun to travel, + When the corn runs out like gravel. + +[Illustration] + + All at once he stops and cries: + "Darn it! I see where it lies!" + +[Illustration] + + Ha! with what delighted eyes + Max and Maurice he espies. + +[Illustration] + + Rabs! he opens wide his sack, + Shoves the rogues in--Hukepack! + +[Illustration] + + It grows warm with Max and Maurice, + For to mill the farmer hurries. + +[Illustration] + + "Master Miller! Hallo, man! + Grind me _that_ as quick as you can!" + +[Illustration] + + "In with 'em!" Each wretched flopper + Headlong goes into the hopper. + +[Illustration] + + As the farmer turns his back, he + Hears the mill go "creaky! cracky!" + +[Illustration] + + Here you see the bits _post mortem_, + Just as Fate was pleased to sort 'em. + +[Illustration] + + Master Miller's ducks with speed + Gobbled up the coarse-grained feed. + +[Illustration] + + + + +CONCLUSION. + + + IN the village not a word, + Not a sign, of grief, was heard. + Widow Tibbets, speaking low, + Said, "I thought it would be so!" + "None but self," cried Buck, "to blame! + Mischief is not life's true aim!" + Then said gravely Teacher Laempel, + "There again is an example!" + "To be sure! bad thing for youth," + Said the Baker, "a sweet tooth!" + Even Uncle says, "Good folks! + See what comes of stupid jokes!" + But the honest farmer: "Guy! + What concern is that to I?" + Through the place in short there went + One wide murmur of content: + "God be praised! the town is free + From this great rascality!" + + * * * * * + + University Press: John Wilson & Son, Cambridge. + + + + +NONSENSE BOOKS + +BY EDWARD LEAR + +[Illustration] + + +Containing-- + + A BOOK OF NONSENSE. + NONSENSE SONGS. + NONSENSE STORIES. + NONSENSE COOKERY. + NONSENSE BOTANY. + NONSENSE ALPHABETS. + MORE NONSENSE BOTANY. + ONE HUNDRED NONSENSE PICTURES AND RHYMES. + TWENTY-SIX NONSENSE RHYMES AND PICTURES. + LAUGHABLE LYRICS. + MORE NONSENSE BOTANY. + MORE NONSENSE ALPHABETS. + +It is, as our readers will remember, the remarkable work that Ruskin +placed at the head of the best books.--_Baltimore American._ + +[Illustration] + +_With all the original illustrations, a sketch of the author's life, and +a portrait. 12mo. $2.00_ + + + + +Children's Poetry and Nursery Rhymes + +[Illustration] + + RHYMES AND BALLADS FOR GIRLS AND BOYS. By SUSAN + COOLIDGE. Illustrated. 8vo. Cloth, gilt. $1.50. + + POSIES FOR CHILDREN. Selected by Mrs. ANNA C. + LOWELL. With 32 illustrations. Small 4to. Cloth. + $1.25. POPULAR EDITION, 16mo. Cloth. 75 cents. + + SING SONG. A Nursery Rhyme Book. By CHRISTINA G. + ROSSETTI. With 120 illustrations. 12mo. Cloth. + $1.00. + + IN MY NURSERY. Rhymes, Chimes, and Jingles for + Children. By LAURA E. RICHARDS. Numerous + Illustrations. Small 4to. Cloth. $1.25. + + + + +THE + +CHILDREN'S FRIEND SERIES + + +[Illustration] + +Handy Illustrated Volumes by popular authors, including: LOUISA M. +ALCOTT, SUSAN COOLIDGE, NORA PERRY, HELEN HUNT JACKSON, LOUISE CHANDLER +MOULTON, JULIANA H. EWING, EDWARD EVERETT HALE, LAURA E. RICHARDS, A. G. +PLYMPTON, etc. Choicely printed and attractively bound in cloth, with +gold and ink stamp on side. Issued at the popular price of 50 cents per +volume. + + +_FIRST ISSUES._ + + 1. AGAINST WIND AND TIDE. By LOUISE CHANDLER + MOULTON, author of "Bed-Time Stories," etc. + + 2. A HOLE IN THE WALL. By LOUISA M. ALCOTT, author + of "Little Women," "Little Men," etc. + + 3. A LITTLE KNIGHT OF LABOR. By SUSAN COOLIDGE, + author of "What Katy Did," etc. + + 4. CHILDREN'S HOUR. By MARY W. TILESTON, author of + "Daily Strength for Daily Needs," etc. + + 5. CHOP-CHIN AND THE GOLDEN DRAGON. By LAURA E. + RICHARDS, author of "Captain January," "The Joyous + Story of Toto," etc. + + 6. COTTAGE NEIGHBORS. By NORA PERRY, author of + "Another Flock of Girls," "Hope Benham," etc. + + 7. CURLY LOCKS. By SUSAN COOLIDGE, author of "What + Katy Did," etc. + + 8. DADDY DARWIN'S DOVECOT. By JULIANA H. EWING, + author of "Jackanapes," etc. + + 9. FOUR OF THEM. By LOUISE CHANDLER MOULTON, + author of "Bed-Time Stories," etc. + + 10. GOLDEN-BREASTED KOOTOO. By LAURA E. RICHARDS. + + 11. GOOSTIE. By MARY CAROLINE HYDE. + + 12. HUNTER CATS OF CONNORLOA. By HELEN HUNT + JACKSON, author of "Ramona," "Nelly's Silver + Mine," etc. + + 13. JACKANAPES. By JULIANA H. EWING. + + 14. LITTLE OLIVE THE HEIRESS. By A. G. PLYMPTON, + author of "Dear Daughter Dorothy," etc. + + 15. MAN WITHOUT A COUNTRY. By EDWARD EVERETT HALE, + author of "Ten Times One is Ten," etc. + + 16. MARJORIE'S THREE GIFTS. By LOUISA M. ALCOTT. + + 17. MAY FLOWERS. By LOUISA M. ALCOTT. + + 18. MISS TOOSEY'S MISSION. By the author of + "Belle," "Laddie," etc. + + 19. NONSENSE SONGS. By EDWARD LEAR. + + 20. RAGS AND VELVET GOWNS. By A. G. PLYMPTON, + author of "Dear Daughter Dorothy," etc. + + 21. STORY OF A SHORT LIFE. By JULIANA H. EWING. + + 22. SUNDOWN SONGS. By LAURA E. RICHARDS. + + 23. THAT LITTLE SMITH GIRL. By NORA PERRY. + + 24. UNDER THE STABLE FLOOR. A Christmas Story. By + MARY CAROLINE HYDE. + + 25. YAN AND NOCHIE OF TAPPAN SEA. By MARY CAROLINE + HYDE. + + + + + +End of Project Gutenberg's Max and Maurice, by William [Wilhelm] Busch + +*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK MAX AND MAURICE *** + +***** This file should be named 28847.txt or 28847.zip ***** +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: + https://www.gutenberg.org/2/8/8/4/28847/ + +Produced by Suzanne Shell and the Online Distributed +Proofreading Team at https://www.pgdp.net (This file was +produced from images generously made available by The +Internet Archive/American Libraries.) + + +Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions +will be renamed. + +Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no +one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation +(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without +permission and without paying copyright royalties. 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