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+The Project Gutenberg EBook of Oswald Bastable and Others, by Edith Nesbit
+
+This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with
+almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or
+re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included
+with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org
+
+
+Title: Oswald Bastable and Others
+
+Author: Edith Nesbit
+
+Illustrator: Charles E. Brock
+ H. R. Millar
+
+Release Date: May 14, 2009 [EBook #28804]
+
+Language: English
+
+Character set encoding: ASCII
+
+*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK OSWALD BASTABLE AND OTHERS ***
+
+
+
+
+Produced by Suzanne Shell and the Online Distributed
+Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+OSWALD BASTABLE AND OTHERS
+
+
+
+
+[Illustration: '"Don't break down the door! The villains may return any
+moment and destroy you."'--Page 115.]
+
+
+
+
+ OSWALD BASTABLE
+ AND OTHERS
+
+
+ _By_
+ E. NESBIT
+
+ _Illustrated by_
+ CHARLES E. BROCK
+ AND
+ H. R. MILLAR
+
+ ERNEST BENN LIMITED
+ LONDON
+
+ COWARD-McCANN INC
+ NEW YORK
+
+ _First re-issued in this edition 1960_
+
+ _Published by Ernest Benn Limited
+ Bouverie House . Fleet Street . London . EC4
+ and Coward-McCann Inc
+ 210 Madison Avenue . New York 16 . NY_
+
+ _Printed in Great Britain_
+
+ TO
+ MY DEAR NIECE
+ ANTHONIA NESBIT
+
+
+
+
+CONTENTS
+
+
+ OSWALD BASTABLE
+
+ AN OBJECT OF VALUE AND VIRTUE _page_ 1
+
+ THE RUNAWAYS 34
+
+ THE ARSENICATORS: A TALE OF
+ CRIME 64
+
+ THE ENCHANCERIED HOUSE 89
+
+
+ OTHERS
+
+ MOLLY, THE MEASLES, AND THE
+ MISSING WILL 123
+
+ BILLY AND WILLIAM 151
+
+ THE TWOPENNY SPELL 167
+
+ SHOWING OFF; OR, THE LOOKING-GLASS
+ BOY 181
+
+ THE RING AND THE LAMP 200
+
+ THE CHARMED LIFE; OR, THE
+ PRINCESS AND THE LIFT-MAN 224
+
+ BILLY THE KING 247
+
+ THE PRINCESS AND THE CAT 275
+
+ THE WHITE HORSE 301
+
+ SIR CHRISTOPHER COCKLESHELL 318
+
+ MUSCADEL 343
+
+
+
+
+LIST OF ILLUSTRATIONS
+
+
+ '_Don't break down the door! The villains may
+ return any moment and destroy you_' _Frontispiece_
+
+ _'Here is your prize,' said Oswald_ _facing page_ 30
+
+ _'Come into the kitchen,' said Oswald; 'you can drip
+ there quite comfortably'_ 52
+
+ _We consented to carry the unfortunate bed-woman to it_ 76
+
+ _The room was a very odd shape_ _page_ 103
+
+ _A little person in a large white cap_ 121
+
+ _Molly had a splendid ride behind the groom_ _facing page_ 134
+
+ _The bicycle started, Billy in the saddle and Harold on
+ the step_ 164
+
+ '_And what can we do for you to-day, Miss?_' 170
+
+ _The alligator very nearly had him_ 194
+
+ '_Your servant, Miss. Do I understand that you order
+ me to mend this?_' 206
+
+ _The little girl had slapped Fina, and taken the pagoda
+ away_ 214
+
+ '_We'll see if you are going to begin a-ordering of me
+ about_' 218
+
+ _'Come by post, your Lordship,' said the footman_ 254
+
+ _'Excuse my hair, Sire,' he said_ 256
+
+ '_Speak to the dragon as soon as it arrives_' 262
+
+ _The two skated into each other's arms_ 270
+
+ _'Take that!' cried he, aiming an apple at the old
+ man's head_ _facing page_ 306
+
+ _In the drawer was just one jewelled ring. It lay on a
+ written page_ 346
+
+ _A black-winged monster, with hundreds and hundreds
+ of eyes_ 350
+
+ _On the table stood the dazzling figure of a real full-sized
+ princess_ 358
+
+ _A blowzy, frowzy dairymaid_ 362
+
+ '_You've got a face as long as a fiddle_' 366
+
+
+
+
+AN OBJECT OF VALUE AND VIRTUE
+
+
+This happened a very little time after we left our humble home in
+Lewisham, and went to live at the Blackheath house of our Indian uncle,
+which was replete with every modern convenience, and had a big garden
+and a great many greenhouses. We had had a lot of jolly Christmas
+presents, and one of them was Dicky's from father, and it was a
+printing-press. Not one of the eighteenpenny kind that never come off,
+but a real tip-topper, that you could have printed a whole newspaper out
+of if you could have been clever enough to make up all the stuff there
+is in newspapers. I don't know how people can do it. It's all about
+different things, but it is all just the same too. But the author is
+sorry to find he is not telling things from the beginning, as he has
+been taught. The printing-press really doesn't come into the story till
+quite a long way on. So it is no use your wondering what it was that we
+did print with the printing-press. It was not a newspaper, anyway, and
+it wasn't my young brother's poetry, though he and the girls did do an
+awful lot of that. It was something much more far-reaching, as you will
+see if you wait.
+
+There wasn't any skating those holidays, because it was what they call
+nice open weather. That means it was simply muggy, and you could play
+out of doors without grown-ups fussing about your overcoat, or bringing
+you to open shame in the streets with knitted comforters, except, of
+course, the poet Noel, who is young, and equal to having bronchitis if
+he only looks at a pair of wet boots. But the girls were indoors a good
+deal, trying to make things for a bazaar which the people our
+housekeeper's elder sister lives with were having in the country for the
+benefit of a poor iron church that was in difficulties. And Noel and H.
+O. were with them, putting sweets in bags for the bazaar's lucky-tub. So
+Dicky and I were out alone together. But we were not angry with the
+others for their stuffy way of spending a day. Two is not a good number,
+though, for any game except fives; and the man who ordered the vineries
+and pineries, and butlers' pantries and things, never had the sense to
+tell the builders to make a fives court. Some people never think of the
+simplest things. So we had been playing catch with a fives ball. It was
+Dicky's ball, and Oswald said:
+
+'I bet you can't hit it over the house.'
+
+'What do you bet?' said Dicky.
+
+And Oswald replied:
+
+'Anything you like. You couldn't do it, anyhow.'
+
+Dicky said:
+
+'Miss Blake says betting is wicked; but I don't believe it is, if you
+don't bet money.'
+
+Oswald reminded him how in 'Miss Edgeworth' even that wretched little
+Rosamond, who is never allowed to do anything she wants to, even lose
+her own needles, makes a bet with her brother, and none of the grown-ups
+turn a hair.
+
+'But _I_ don't want to bet,' he said. 'I know you can't do it.'
+
+'I'll bet you my fives ball I do,' Dicky rejoindered.
+
+'Done! I'll bet you that threepenny ball of string and the cobbler's wax
+you were bothering about yesterday.'
+
+So Dicky said 'Done!' and then he went and got a tennis racket--when I
+meant with his hands--and the ball soared up to the top of the house and
+faded away. But when we went round to look for it we couldn't find it
+anywhere. So he said it had gone over and he had won. And Oswald thought
+it had not gone over, but stayed on the roof, and he hadn't. And they
+could not agree about it, though they talked of nothing else till tea
+time.
+
+It was a few days after that that the big greenhouse began to leak, and
+something was said at brekker about had any of us been throwing stones.
+But it happened that we had not. Only after brek Oswald said to Dicky:
+
+'What price fives balls for knocking holes in greenhouses?'
+
+'Then you own it went over the house, and I won my bet. Hand over!'
+Dicky remarked.
+
+But Oswald did not see this, because it wasn't proved it was the fives
+ball. It was only his idea.
+
+Then it rained for two or three days, and the greenhouse leaked much
+more than just a fives ball, and the grown-ups said the man who put it
+up had scamped the job, and they sent for him to put it right. And when
+he was ready he came, and men came with ladders and putty and glass,
+and a thing to cut it with a real diamond in it that he let us have to
+look at. It was fine that day, and Dicky and H. O. and I were out most
+of the time talking to the men. I think the men who come to do things to
+houses are so interesting to talk to; they seem to know much more about
+the things that really matter than gentlemen do. I shall try to be like
+them when I grow up, and not always talk about politics and the way the
+army is going to the dogs.
+
+The men were very jolly, and let us go up the ladder and look at the top
+of the greenhouse. Not H. O., of course, because he is very young
+indeed, and wears socks. When they had gone to dinner, H. O. went in to
+see if some pies were done that he had made out of a bit of putty the
+man gave him. He had put the pies in the oven when the cook wasn't
+looking. I think something must have been done to him, for he did not
+return.
+
+So Dicky and I were left. Dicky said:
+
+'If I could get the ladder round to the roof of the stovehouse I believe
+I should find my fives ball in the gutter. I _know_ it went over the
+house that day.'
+
+So Oswald, ever ready and obliging, helped his brother to move the
+ladder round to the tiled roof of the stovehouse, and Dicky looked in
+the gutter. But even he could not pretend the ball was there, because I
+am certain it never went over at all.
+
+When he came down, Oswald said:
+
+'Sold again!'
+
+And Dicky said:
+
+'Sold yourself! You jolly well thought it was there, and you'd have to
+pay for it.'
+
+This unjustness was Oswald's reward for his kind helpingness about
+moving the ladder. So he turned away, just saying carelessly over his
+retiring shoulder:
+
+'I should think you'd have the decency to put the ladder back where you
+found it.' And he walked off.
+
+But he has a generous heart--a crossing-sweeper told him so once when he
+gave him a halfpenny--and when Dicky said, 'Come on, Oswald; don't be a
+sneak,' he proved that he was not one, and went back and helped with the
+ladder. But he was a little distant to Dicky, till all disagreeableness
+was suddenly buried in a rat Pincher found in the cucumber frame.
+
+Then the washing-hands-and-faces-for-dinner bell rang, and, of course,
+we should have gone in directly, only just then the workmen came back
+from their dinner, and we waited, because one of them had promised
+Oswald some hinges for a ferrets' hutch he thought of making, and while
+he was talking to this man the other one went up the ladder. And then
+the most exciting and awful thing I ever saw happened, all in a minute,
+before anyone could have said 'Jack Robinson,' even if they had thought
+of him. The bottom part of the ladder slipped out along the smooth tiles
+by the greenhouse, and there was a long, dream-like, dreadful time, when
+Oswald knew what was going to happen; but it could only have been a
+second really, because before anyone could do anything the top end of
+the ladder slid softly, like cutting butter, off the top of the
+greenhouse, and the man on the ladder fell too. I never saw anything
+that made me feel so wrong way up in my inside. He lay there all in a
+heap, without moving, and the men crowded round him. Dicky and I could
+not see properly because of the other men. But the foreman, the one who
+had given Oswald the hinges, said:
+
+'Better get a doctor.'
+
+It always takes a long time for a workman to understand what you want
+him to do, and long before these had, Oswald had shouted 'I'll go!' and
+was off like an arrow from a bow, and Dicky with him.
+
+They found the doctor at home, and he came that minute. Oswald and Dicky
+were told to go away, but they could not bear to, though they knew their
+dinner-bell must have been already rung for them many times in vain, and
+it was now ringing with fury. They just lurked round the corner of the
+greenhouse till the doctor said it was a broken arm, and nothing else
+hurt; and when the poor man was sent home in a cab, Oswald and Dicky got
+the cabman, who is a friend of theirs, to let them come on the box with
+him. And thus they saw where the man lived, and saw his poor wife greet
+the sufferer. She only said:
+
+'Gracious, Gus, whatever have you been up to now? You always was an
+unlucky chap.'
+
+But we could see her loving heart was full to overflowing.
+
+When she had taken him in and shut the door we went away. The wretched
+sufferer, whose name transpired to be Augustus Victor Plunkett, was
+lucky enough to live in a mews. Noel made a poem about it afterwards:
+
+ 'O Muse of Poetry, do not refuse
+ To tell about a man who loves the Mews.
+ It is his humble home so poor,
+ And the cabman who drove him home lives next door
+ But two: and when his arm was broke
+ His loving wife with tears spoke.'
+
+And so on. It went on for two hundred and twenty-four lines, and he
+could not print it, because it took far too much type for the
+printing-press. It was as we went out of the mews that we first saw the
+Goat. I gave him a piece of cocoanut ice, and he liked it awfully. He
+was tied to a ring in the wall, and he was black and white, with horns
+and a beard; and when the man he belonged to saw us looking at him, he
+said we could have that Goat a bargain. And when we asked, out of
+politeness and not because we had any money, except twopence halfpenny
+of Dicky's, how much he wanted for the Goat, he said:
+
+'Seven and sixpence is the lowest, so I won't deceive you, young gents.
+And so help me if he ain't worth thribble the money.'
+
+Oswald did the sum in his head, which told him the Goat was worth one
+pound two shillings and sixpence, and he went away sadly, for he did
+want that Goat.
+
+We were later for dinner than I ever remember our being, and Miss Blake
+had not kept us any pudding; but Oswald bore up when he thought of the
+Goat. But Dicky seemed to have no beautiful inside thoughts to sustain
+him, and he was so dull Dora said she only hoped he wasn't going to have
+measles.
+
+It was when we had gone up to bed that he fiddled about with the studs
+and old buttons and things in a velvety box he had till Oswald was in
+bed, and then he said:
+
+'Look here, Oswald, I feel as if I was a murderer, or next-door to. It
+was our moving that ladder: I'm certain it was. And now he's laid up,
+and his wife and children.'
+
+Oswald sat up in bed, and said kindly:
+
+'You're right, old chap. It _was_ your moving that ladder. Of course,
+you didn't put it back firm. But the man's not killed.'
+
+'We oughtn't to have touched it,' he said. 'Or we ought to have told
+them we had, or something. Suppose his arm gets blood-poisoning, or
+inflammation, or something awful? I couldn't go on living if I was a
+doer of a deed like that.'
+
+Oswald had never seen Dicky so upset. He takes things jolly easy as a
+rule. Oswald said:
+
+'Well, it is no use fuming over it. You'd better get out of your clothes
+and go to bed. We'll cut down in the morning and leave our cards and
+kind inquiries.'
+
+Oswald only meant to be kind, and by making this amusing remark he
+wished to draw his erring brother's thoughts from the remorse that was
+poisoning his young life, and would very likely keep him awake for an
+hour or more thinking of it, and fidgetting about so that Oswald
+couldn't sleep.
+
+But Dicky did not take it at all the way Oswald meant. He said:
+
+'Shut up, Oswald, you beast!' and lay down on his bed and began to blub.
+
+Oswald said, 'Beast yourself!' because it is the proper thing to say;
+but he was not angry, only sorry that Dicky was so duffing as not to see
+what he meant. And he got out of bed and went softly to the girls' room,
+which is next ours, and said:
+
+'I say, come in to our room a sec., will you? Dicky is howling fit to
+bring the house down. I think a council of us elder ones would do him
+more good than anything.'
+
+'Whatever is up?' Dora asked, getting into her dressing-gown.
+
+'Oh, nothing, except that he's a murderer! Come on, and don't make a
+row. Mind the mats and our boots by the door.'
+
+They came in, and Oswald said:
+
+'Look here, Dicky, old boy, here are the girls, and we're going to have
+a council about it.'
+
+They wanted to kiss him, but he wouldn't, and shrugged his shoulders
+about, and wouldn't speak; but when Alice had got hold of his hand he
+said in a muffled voice:
+
+'You tell them, Oswald.'
+
+When Oswald and Dicky were alone, you will have noticed the just elder
+brother blamed the proper person, which was Dicky, because he would go
+up on the stovehouse roof after his beastly ball, which Oswald did not
+care a rap about. And, besides, he knew it wasn't there. But now that
+other people were there Oswald, of course, said:
+
+'You see, _we_ moved the men's ladder when they were at their dinner.
+And you know the man that fell off the ladder, and we went with him in
+the cab to the place where that Goat was? Well, Dicky has only just
+thought of it; but, of course, it was really our fault his tumbling,
+because we couldn't have put the ladder back safely. And Dicky thinks if
+his arm blood-poisoned itself we should be as good as murderers.'
+
+Dicky is perfectly straight; he sat up and sniffed, and blew his nose,
+and said:
+
+'It was my idea moving the ladder: Oswald only helped.'
+
+'Can't we ask uncle to see that the dear sufferer wants for nothing
+while he's ill, and all that?' said Dora.
+
+'Well,' said Oswald, 'we could, of course. But, then, it would all come
+out. And about the fives ball too. And we can't be at all sure it _was_
+the ball made the greenhouse leak, because I know it never went over the
+house.'
+
+'Yes, it did,' said Dicky, giving his nose a last stern blow.
+
+Oswald was generous to a sorrowing foe, and took no notice, only went
+on:
+
+'And about the ladder: we can't be quite sure it wouldn't have slipped
+on those tiles, even if we'd never moved it. But I think Dicky would
+feel jollier if we could do something for the man, and I know it would
+me.'
+
+That looks mixed, but Oswald was rather agitated himself, and that was
+what he said.
+
+'We must think of something to do to get money,' Alice said, 'like we
+used to do when we were treasure-seekers.'
+
+Presently the girls went away, and we heard them jawing in their room.
+Just as Oswald was falling asleep the door opened, and a figure in white
+came in and bent above his almost sleeping form. It said:
+
+'We've thought of something! We'll have a bazaar, like the people Miss
+Blake's elder sister lives with did for the poor iron church.'
+
+The form glided away. Miss Blake is our housekeeper. Oswald could hear
+that Dicky was already sleeping, so he turned over and went to sleep
+himself. He dreamed of Goats, only they were as big as railway engines,
+and would keep ringing the church bells, till Oswald awoke, and it was
+the getting-up bell, and not a great Goat ringing it, but only Sarah as
+usual.
+
+The idea of the bazaar seemed to please all of us.
+
+'We can ask all the people we know to it,' said Alice.
+
+'And wear our best frocks, and sell the things at the stalls,' said
+Dora.
+
+Dicky said we could have it in the big greenhouse now the plants were
+out of it.
+
+'I will write a poem for the man, and say it at the bazaar,' Noel said.
+'I know people say poetry at bazaars. The one Aunt Carrie took me to a
+man said a piece about a cowboy.'
+
+H. O. said there ought to be lots of sweets, and then everyone would buy
+them.
+
+Oswald said someone would have to ask my father, and he said he would do
+it if the others liked. He did this because of an inside feeling in his
+mind that he knew might come on at any moment. So he did. And 'Yes' was
+the answer. And then the uncle gave Oswald a whole quid to buy things to
+sell at the bazaar, and my father gave him ten bob for the same useful
+and generous purpose, and said he was glad to see we were trying to do
+good to others.
+
+When he said that the inside feeling in Oswald's mind began that he had
+felt afraid would, some time, and he told my father about him and Dicky
+moving the ladder, and about the hateful fives ball, and everything. And
+my father was awfully decent about it, so that Oswald was glad he had
+told.
+
+The girls wrote the invitations to all our friends that very day. We
+boys went down to look in the shops and see what we could buy for the
+bazaar. And we went to ask how Mr. Augustus Victor Plunkett's arm was
+getting on, and to see the Goat.
+
+The others liked the Goat almost as much as Oswald, and even Dicky
+agreed that it was our clear duty to buy the Goat for the sake of poor
+Mr. Plunkett.
+
+Because, as Oswald said, if it was worth one pound two and six, we could
+easily sell it again for that, and we should have gained fifteen
+shillings for the sufferer.
+
+So we bought the Goat, and changed the ten shillings to do it. The man
+untied the other end of the Goat's rope, and Oswald took hold of it, and
+said he hoped we were not robbing the man by taking his Goat from him
+for such a low price. And he said:
+
+'Not at all, young gents. Don't you mention it. Pleased to oblige a
+friend any day of the week.'
+
+So we started to take the Goat home. But after about half a street he
+would not come any more. He stopped still, and a lot of boys and people
+came round, just as if they had never seen a Goat before. We were
+beginning to feel quite uncomfortable, when Oswald remembered the Goat
+liked cocoanut ice, so Noel went into a shop and got threepenn'orth, and
+then the cheap animal consented to follow us home. So did the street
+boys. The cocoanut ice was more for the money than usual, but not so
+nice.
+
+My father was not pleased when he saw the Goat. But when Alice told him
+it was for the bazaar, he laughed, and let us keep it in the stableyard.
+
+It got out early in the morning, and came right into the house, and
+butted the cook in her own back-kitchen, a thing even Oswald himself
+would have hesitated before doing. So that showed it was a brave Goat.
+
+The groom did not like the Goat, because it bit a hole in a sack of
+corn, and then walked up it like up a mountain, and all the oats ran out
+and got between the stones of the stableyard, and there was a row. But
+we explained it was not for long, as the bazaar was in three days. And
+we hurried to get things ready.
+
+We were each to have a stall. Dora took the refreshment stall. The uncle
+made Miss Blake get all that ready.
+
+Alice had a stall for pincushions and brush-and-comb bags, and other
+useless things that girls make with stuff and ribbons.
+
+Noel had a poetry stall, where you could pay twopence and get a piece of
+poetry and a sweet wrapped up in it. We chose sugar almonds, because
+they are not so sticky.
+
+H. O.'s stall was to be sweets, if he promised on his word of honour as
+a Bastable only to eat one of each kind.
+
+Dicky wished to have a stall for mechanical toys and parts of clocks. He
+has a great many parts of clocks, but the only mechanical toy was his
+clockwork engine, that was broken ages ago, so he had to give it up, and
+he couldn't think of anything else. So he settled to help Oswald, and
+keep an eye on H. O.
+
+Oswald's stall was meant to be a stall for really useful things, but in
+the end it was just a lumber stall for the things other people did not
+want. But he did not mind, because the others agreed he should have the
+entire selling of the Goat, and he racked his young brains to think how
+to sell it in the most interesting and unusual way. And at last he saw
+how, and he said:
+
+'He shall be a lottery, and we'll make people take tickets, and then
+draw a secret number out of a hat, and whoever gets the right number
+gets the Goat. I wish it was me.'
+
+'We ought to advertise it, though,' Dicky said. 'Have handbills printed,
+and send out sandwich-men.'
+
+Oswald inquired at the printers in Greenwich, and handbills were an
+awful price, and sandwich-men a luxury far beyond our means. So he went
+home sadly; and then Alice thought of the printing-press. We got it out,
+and cleaned it where the ink had been upset into it, and mended the
+broken parts as well as we could, and got some more printers' ink, and
+wrote the circular and printed it. It was:
+
+ SECRET LOTTERY.
+ EXCEPTIONABLE AND RARE CHANCE.
+ _An Object of Value--_
+
+'It ought to be object of _virtue_,' said Dicky. 'I saw it in the old
+iron and china and picture shop. It was a carved ivory ship, and there
+was a ticket on it: "Rare Object of Virtue."'
+
+'The Goat's an object, certainly,' Alice said, 'and it's valuable. As
+for virtue, I'm not so sure.'
+
+But Oswald thought the two V's looked well, and being virtuous is
+different to being valuable; but, all the same, the Goat might be both
+when you got to know him really well. So we put it in.
+
+
+ SECRET LOTTERY.
+ EXCEPTIONABLE AND RARE CHANCE.
+ _An Object of Value and Virtue_
+
+ will be lotteried for on Saturday next, at four o'clock. Tickets
+ one or two shillings each, according to how many people want them.
+ The object is not disclosed till after the Lottery, but it cost a
+ lot of money, and is honestly worth three times as much. If you win
+ it, it is the same as winning money. Apply at Morden House,
+ Blackheath, at 3 o'clock next Saturday. Take tickets early to
+ prevent disappointment.
+
+We printed these, and though they looked a bit rum, we had not time to
+do them again, so we went out about dusk and dropped them in people's
+letter-boxes. Then next day Oswald, who is always very keen on doing the
+thing well, got two baking-boards out of the kitchen and bored holes in
+them with an auger I had, and pasted paper on them, and did on them
+with a paint-brush and ink the following lines:
+
+ SECRET LOTTERY.
+
+ OBJECT OF VALUE AND VIRTUE.
+
+ _Tickets 1/- and 2/-._
+
+ If you win, it will be the same as winning money.
+
+ Lottery at Morden House, Blackheath.
+
+ Saturday at 4. Come at 3.
+
+And he slung the boards round his neck, and tied up his mouth in one of
+those knitted comforters he despises so much at other times, and,
+pulling a cap of father's over his bold ears, he got Dicky to let him
+out of the side-door. And then the brave boy went right across the heath
+and three times up and down the village, till those boys that followed
+him and the Goat home went for him near the corner of Wemyss Road, and
+he made a fight for it, taking off the boards and using them as shields.
+But at last, being far outnumbered, which is no disgrace, he had to
+chuck the boards and run for it.
+
+Saturday was fine. We had hung the greenhouse with evergreens and
+paper roses that looked almost like real among the green, and Miss
+Blake let us have some Chinesy-looking curtains to cover over the
+shelves and staging with. And the gardener let us have a lot of azaleas
+and things in pots, so that it was all very bowery and flowery.
+
+Alice's stall was the smartest looking, because Miss Blake had let her
+have all the ribbons and things that were over from the other bazaar.
+
+H. O.'s stall was also nice--all on silver tea-trays, so as not to be
+stickier than needful.
+
+The poetry stall had more flowers on it than any of the others, to make
+up for the poetry looking so dull outside. Of course, you could not see
+the sweet inside the packets till you opened them. Red azaleas are
+prettier than poetry, I think. I think the tropic lands in 'Westward
+Ho!' had great trees with flowers like that.
+
+We got the Goat into the stovehouse. He was to be kept a secret till the
+very last. And by half-past two we were all ready, and very clean and
+dressed. We had all looked out everything we thought anyone could want
+to buy, and that we could spare, and some things we could not, and most
+of these were on Oswald's table--among others, several boxes of games
+we had never cared about; some bags of marbles, which nobody plays now;
+a lot of old books; a pair of braces with wool-work on them, that an
+aunt once made for Oswald, and, of course, he couldn't wear them; some
+bags of odd buttons for people who like sewing these things on; a lot of
+foreign stamps, gardening tools, Dicky's engine, that won't go, and a
+stuffed parrot, but he was moth-eaten.
+
+About three our friends began to come, Mrs. Leslie, and Lord Tottenham,
+and Albert's uncle, and a lot of others. It was a very grand party, and
+they admired the bazaar very much, and all bought things. Mrs. Leslie
+bought the engine for ten shillings, though we told her honestly it
+would never go again, and Albert's uncle bought the parrot, and would
+not tell us what he wanted it for. The money was put on a blue dish, so
+that everyone could see how it got on, and our hearts were full of joy
+as we saw how much silver there was among the pennies, and two or three
+gold pieces too. I know now how the man feels who holds the plate at the
+door in church.
+
+Noel's poetry stall was much more paying than I thought it would be. I
+believe nobody really likes poetry, and yet everyone pretends they do,
+either so as not to hurt Noel's feelings, or because they think
+well-brought-up people ought to like poetry, even Noel's. Of course,
+Macaulay and Kipling are different. I don't mind them so much myself.
+
+Noel wrote a lot of new poetry for the bazaar. It took up all his time,
+and even then he had not enough new stuff to wrap up all the sugar
+almonds in. So he made up with old poetry that he'd done before.
+Albert's uncle got one of the new ones, and said it made him a proud
+man. It was:
+
+ 'How noble and good and kind you are
+ To come to Victor A. Plunkett's Bazaar.
+ Please buy as much as you can bear,
+ For the sufferer needs all you can possibly spare.
+ I know you are sure to take his part,
+ Because you have such a noble heart.'
+
+
+Mrs. Leslie got:
+
+ 'The rose is red, the violet's blue,
+ The lily's pale, and so are you.
+ Or would be if you had seen him fall
+ Off the top of the ladder so tall.
+ Do buy as much as you can stand,
+ And lend the poor a helping hand.'
+
+Lord Tottenham, though, only got one of the old ones, and it happened to
+be the 'Wreck of the _Malabar_.' He was an admiral once. But he liked
+it. He is a nice old gentleman, but people do say he is 'excentric.'
+
+Father got a poem that said:
+
+ 'Please turn your eyes round in their sockets,
+ And put both your hands in your pockets;
+ Your eyes will show you things so gay,
+ And I hope you'll find enough in your pockets to pay
+ For the things you buy.
+ Good-bye!'
+
+And he laughed and seemed pleased; but when Mrs. Morrison, Albert's
+mother, got that poem about the black beetle that was poisoned she was
+not so pleased, and she said it was horrid, and made her flesh creep.
+You know the poem. It says:
+
+ 'Oh, beetle, how I weep to see
+ Thee lying on thy poor back:
+ It is so very sad to see
+ You were so leggy and black.
+ I wish you were crawling about alive again,
+ But many people think this is nonsense and a shame.'
+
+Noel _would_ recite, no matter what we said, and he stood up on a chair,
+and everyone, in their blind generousness, paid sixpence to hear him.
+It was a long poem of his own about the Duke of Wellington, and it
+began:
+
+ 'Hail, faithful leader of the brave band
+ Who went to make Napoleon understand
+ He couldn't have everything his own way.
+ We taught him this on Waterloo day.'
+
+I heard that much; but then he got so upset and frightened no one could
+hear anything till the end, when it says:
+
+ 'So praise the heroes of Waterloo,
+ And let us do our duty like they had to do.'
+
+Everyone clapped very much, but Noel was so upset he nearly cried, and
+Mrs. Leslie said:
+
+'Noel, I'm feeling as pale as a lily again! Take me round the garden to
+recover myself.'
+
+She was as red as usual, but it saved Noel from making a young ass of
+himself. And we got seventeen shillings and sixpence by his reciting. So
+that was all right.
+
+We might as well not have sent out those circulars, because only the
+people we had written to ourselves came. Of course, I don't count those
+five street boys, the same Oswald had the sandwich-board fight with.
+They came, and they walked round and looked at the things; but they had
+no money to spend, it turned out, and only came to be disagreeable and
+make fun. So Albert's uncle asked them if they did not think their
+families would be lonely without them, and he and I saw them off at the
+gate. Then they stood outside and made rude noises. And another stranger
+came, and Oswald thought perhaps the circular was beginning to bear
+fruit. But the stranger asked for the master of the house, and he was
+shown in. Oswald was just shaking up the numbers in his hat for the
+lottery of the Goat, and Alice and Dora were selling the tickets for
+half a crown each to our visitors, and explaining the dreadful misery of
+the poor man that all this trouble was being taken for, and we were all
+enjoying ourselves very much, when Sarah came to say Master Oswald was
+to go in to master's study at once. So he went, wondering what on earth
+he could have been up to now. But he could not think of anything in
+particular. But when his father said, 'Oswald, this gentleman is a
+detective from Scotland Yard,' he was glad he had told about the fives
+ball and the ladder, because he knew his father would now stand by him.
+But he did wonder whether you could be sent to prison for leaving a
+ladder in a slippery place, and how long they would keep you there for
+that crime.
+
+Then my father held out one of the fatal circulars, and said:
+
+'I suppose this is some of your work? Mr. Biggs here is bound in honour
+to do his best to find out when people break the laws of the land. Now,
+lotteries are illegal, and can be punished by law.'
+
+Oswald gloomily wondered how much the law could do to you. He said:
+
+'We didn't know, father.'
+
+Then his father said:
+
+'The best thing you can do is to tell this gentleman all about it.'
+
+So Oswald said:
+
+'Augustus Victor Plunkett fell off a ladder and broke his arm, and
+perhaps it was our fault for meddling with the ladder at all. So we
+wanted to do something to help him, and father said we might have a
+bazaar. It is happening now, and we had three pounds two and sevenpence
+last time I counted the bazaar.'
+
+'But what about the lottery?' said Mr. Biggs, who did not look as if he
+would take Oswald to prison just then, as our young hero had feared. In
+fact, he looked rather jolly. 'Is the prize money?'
+
+'No--oh no; only it's so valuable it's as good as winning money.'
+
+'Then it's only a raffle,' said Mr. Biggs; 'that's what it is, just a
+plain raffle. What _is_ the prize?'
+
+'Are we to be allowed to go on with it?' asked the wary Oswald.
+
+'Why, yes,' said Mr. Biggs; 'if it's not money, why not? What is the
+valuable object?'
+
+'Come, Oswald,' said his father, when Oswald said nothing, 'what is the
+object of _virtu_?'
+
+'I'd rather not say,' said Oswald, feeling very uncomfortable.
+
+Mr. Biggs said something about duty being duty, and my father said:
+
+'Come, Oswald, don't be a young duffer. I dare say it's nothing to be
+ashamed of.'
+
+'I should think not indeed,' said Oswald, as his fond thoughts played
+with that beautiful Goat.
+
+'Well, then?'
+
+'Well, sir'--Oswald spoke desperately, for he wondered his father had
+been so patient so long, and saw that he wasn't going to go on
+being--'you see, the great thing is, nobody is to know it's a G---- I
+mean, it's a secret. No one's to know what the prize is. Only when
+you've won it, it will be revealed.'
+
+'Well,' said my father, 'if Mr. Biggs will take a glass of wine with me,
+we'll follow you down to the greenhouse, and he can see for himself.'
+
+Mr. Biggs said something about thanking father kindly, and about his
+duty. And presently they came down to the greenhouse. Father did not
+introduce Mr. Biggs to anyone--I suppose he forgot--but Oswald did while
+father was talking to Mrs. Leslie. And Mr. Biggs made himself very
+agreeable to all the ladies.
+
+Then we had the lottery. Everyone had tickets, and Alice asked Mr. Biggs
+to buy one. She let him have it for a shilling, because it was the last,
+and we all hoped he would win the Goat. He seemed quite sure now that
+Oswald was not kidding, and that the prize was not money. Indeed, Oswald
+went so far as to tell him privately that the prize was too big to put
+in your pocket, and that if it was divided up it would be spoiled, which
+is true of Goats, but not of money.
+
+[Illustration: '"Here is your prize," said Oswald.'--Page 31.]
+
+Everyone was laughing and talking, and wondering anxiously whatever the
+prize could possibly be. Oswald carried round the hat, and everyone
+drew a number. The winning number was six hundred and sixty-six, and
+Albert's uncle said afterwards it was a curious coincidence. I don't
+know what it meant, but it made Mrs. Leslie laugh. When everyone had
+drawn a number, Oswald rang the dinner-bell to command silence, and
+there was a hush full of anxious expectation. Then Oswald said:
+
+'The prize number is six hundred and sixty-six. Who has it?'
+
+And Mr. Biggs took a step forward and held out his paper.
+
+'The prize is yours! I congratulate you,' said Oswald warmly.
+
+Then he went into the stovehouse, and hastily placing a wreath of paper
+roses on the Goat's head, that Alice had got ready for the purpose, he
+got out the Goat by secretly showing it a bit of cocoanut ice, and led
+it by the same means to the feet of the happy winner.
+
+'Here is your prize,' said Oswald, with feelings of generous pride. 'I
+am very glad you've got him. He'll be a comfort to you, and make up for
+all the trouble you've had over our lottery--raffle, I mean.'
+
+And he placed the ungoated end of the rope in the unresisting hand of
+the fortunate detective.
+
+Neither Oswald nor any of the rest of us has ever been able to make out
+why everyone should have laughed so. But they did. They said the lottery
+was the success of the afternoon. And the ladies kept on congratulating
+Mr. Biggs.
+
+At last people began to go, and the detective, so unexpectedly made rich
+beyond his wildest dreams, said he, too, must be going. He had tied the
+Goat to the greenhouse door, and now he moved away. But we all cried
+out:
+
+'You've forgotten your Goat!'
+
+'No, I haven't,' he said very earnestly; 'I shall never forget that Goat
+to my dying hour. But I want to call on my aunt just close by, and I
+couldn't very well take the Goat to see her.'
+
+'I don't see why not,' H. O. said; 'it's a very nice Goat.'
+
+'She's frightened of them,' said he. 'One ran at her when she was a
+little girl. But if you will allow me, sir'--and he winked at my father,
+which is not manners--'if you'll allow me, I'll call in for the Goat on
+my way to the station.'
+
+We got five pounds thirteen and fivepence by the bazaar and the raffle.
+We should have had another ten shillings from father, but he had to
+give it to Mr. Biggs, because we had put him to the trouble of coming
+all the way from Scotland Yard, because he thought our circular was from
+some hardened criminal wishing to cheat his trustful fellow-creatures.
+We took the money to Augustus Victor Plunkett next morning, and I tell
+you he _was_ pleased.
+
+We waited till long after dark for the detective to return for his rich
+prize. But he never came. I hope he was not set upon and stabbed in some
+dark alley. If he is alive, and not imprisoned, I can't see why he
+didn't come back. I often think anxiously of him. Because, of course,
+detectives have many enemies among felons, who think nothing of stabbing
+people in the back, so that being murdered in a dark alley is a thing
+all detectives are constantly liable to.
+
+
+
+
+THE RUNAWAYS
+
+
+It was after we had had the measles, that fell and blighting disorder
+which we got from Alice picking up five deeply infected shillings that a
+bemeasled family had wrapped in a bit of paper to pay the doctor with
+and then carelessly dropped in the street. Alice held the packet hotly
+in her muff all through a charity concert. Hence these tears, as it says
+in Virgil. And if you have ever had measles you will know that this is
+not what is called figuring speech, because your eyes do run like mad
+all the time.
+
+When we were unmeasled again we were sent to stay at Lymchurch with a
+Miss Sandal, and her motto was plain living and high thinking. She had a
+brother, and his motto was the same, and it was his charity concert that
+Alice held the fatal shillings in her muff throughout of. Later on he
+was giving tracts to a bricklayer, and fell off a scaffold in his giddy
+earnestness, and Miss Sandal had to go and nurse him. So the six of us
+stayed in the plain living, high thinking house by ourselves, and old
+Mrs. Beale from the village came in every day and did the housework. She
+was of humble birth, but was a true lady in minding her own affairs,
+which is what a great many ladies do not know how to do at all. We had
+no lessons to do, and we were thus free to attend to any adventures
+which came along. Adventures are the real business of life. The rest is
+only in-betweenness--what Albert's uncle calls padding. He is an author.
+
+Miss Sandal's house was very plain and clean, with lots of white paint,
+and very difficult to play in. So we were out a good deal. It was
+seaside, so, of course, there was the beach, and besides that the
+marsh--big green fields with sheep all about, and wet dykes with sedge
+growing, and mud, and eels in the mud, and winding white roads that all
+look the same, and all very interesting, as though they might lead to
+almost anything that you didn't expect. Really, of course, they lead to
+Ashford and Romney and Ivychurch, and real live places like that. But
+they don't look it.
+
+The day when what I am going to tell you about happened, we were all
+leaning on the stone wall looking at the pigs. The pigman is a great
+friend of ours--all except H. O., who is my youngest brother. His name
+is Horace Octavius, and if you want to know why we called him H. O. you
+had better read 'The Treasure Seekers' and find out. He had gone to tea
+with the schoolmaster's son--a hateful kid.
+
+'Isn't that the boy you're always fighting?' Dora asked when H. O. said
+he was going.
+
+'Yes,' said H. O., 'but, then, he keeps rabbits.'
+
+So then we understood and let him go.
+
+Well, the rest of us were gazing fondly on the pigs, and two soldiers
+came by.
+
+We asked them where they were off to.
+
+They told us to mind our own business, which is not manners, even if you
+are a soldier on private affairs.
+
+'Oh, all right,' said Oswald, who is the eldest. And he advised the
+soldiers to keep their hair on. The little they had was cut very short.
+
+'I expect they're scouts or something,' said Dicky; 'it's a field-day,
+or a sham-fight, or something, as likely as not.'
+
+'Let's go after them and see,' said Oswald, ever prompt in his
+decidings. So we did.
+
+We ran a bit at first, so as not to let the soldiers have too much of a
+lead. Their red coats made it quite easy to keep them in sight on the
+winding white marsh road. But we did not catch them up: they seemed to
+go faster and faster. So we ran a little bit more every now and then,
+and we went quite a long way after them. But they didn't meet any of
+their officers or regiments or things, and we began to think that
+perchance we were engaged in the disheartening chase of the wild goose.
+This has sometimes occurred.
+
+There is a ruined church about two miles from Lymchurch, and when we got
+close to that we lost sight of the red coats, so we stopped on the
+little bridge that is near there to reconnoitre.
+
+The soldiers had vanished.
+
+'Well, here's a go!' said Dicky.
+
+'It _is_ a wild-goose chase,' said Noel. 'I shall make a piece of poetry
+about it. I shall call the title the "Vanishing Reds, or, the Soldiers
+that were not when you got there."'
+
+'You shut up!' said Oswald, whose eagle eye had caught a glimpse of
+scarlet through the arch of the ruin.
+
+None of the others had seen this. Perhaps you will think I do not say
+enough about Oswald's quickness of sight, so I had better tell you that
+is only because Oswald is me, and very modest. At least, he tries to
+be, because he knows it is what a true gentleman ought to.
+
+'They're in the ruins,' he went on. 'I expect they're going to have an
+easy and a pipe--out of the wind.'
+
+'I think it's very mysterious,' said Noel. 'I shouldn't wonder if
+they're going to dig for buried treasure. Let's go and see.'
+
+'No,' said Oswald, who, though modest, is thoughtful. 'If we do they'll
+stop digging, or whatever they're doing. When they've gone away, we'll
+go and see if the ground is scratched about.'
+
+So we delayed where we were, but we saw no more scarlet.
+
+In a little while a dull-looking man in brown came by on a bicycle. He
+stopped and got off.
+
+'Seen a couple of Tommies about here, my lad?' he said to Oswald.
+
+Oswald does not like being called anybody's lad, especially that kind of
+man's; but he did not want to spoil the review, or field-day, or
+sham-fight, or whatever it might be, so he said:
+
+'Yes; they're up in the ruins.'
+
+'You don't say so!' said the man. 'In uniform, I suppose? Yes, of
+course, or you wouldn't have known they were soldiers. Silly cuckoos!'
+
+He wheeled his bicycle up the rough lane that leads to the old ruin.
+
+'It can't be buried treasure,' said Dicky.
+
+'I don't care if it is,' said Oswald. 'We'll see what's happening. I
+don't mind spoiling _his_ sport. "My ladding" me like that!'
+
+So we followed the man with the bicycle. It was leaning against the
+churchyard gate when we got there. The man off it was going up to the
+ruin, and we went after him.
+
+He did not call out to the soldiers, and we thought that odd; but it
+didn't make us think where it might have made us if we had had any
+sense. He just went creeping about, looking behind walls and inside
+arches, as though he was playing at hide-and-seek. There is a mound in
+the middle of the ruin, where stones and things have fallen during dark
+ages, and the grass has grown all over them. We stood on the mound, and
+watched the bicycling stranger nosing about like a ferret.
+
+There is an archway in that ruin, and a flight of steps goes down--only
+five steps--and then it is all stopped up with fallen stones and earth.
+The stranger stopped at last at this arch, and stooped forward with his
+hands on his knees, and looked through the arch and down the steps.
+Then he said suddenly and fiercely:
+
+'Come out of it, will you?'
+
+And the soldiers came. I wouldn't have. They were two to his one. They
+came cringing out like beaten dogs. The brown man made a sort of bound,
+and next minute the two soldiers were handcuffed together, and he was
+driving them before him like sheep.
+
+'Back you go the same way as what you come,' he said.
+
+And then Oswald saw the soldiers' faces, and he will never forget what
+they looked like.
+
+He jumped off the mound, and ran to where they were.
+
+'What have they done?' he asked the handcuffer.
+
+'Deserters,' said the man. 'Thanks to you, my lad, I got 'em as easy as
+kiss your hand.'
+
+Then one of the soldiers looked at Oswald. He was not very old--about as
+big as a fifth-form boy. And Oswald answered what the soldier looked at
+him.
+
+'I'm _not_ a sneak,' he said. 'I wouldn't have told if I'd known. If
+you'd told me, instead of saying to mind my own business I'd have helped
+you.'
+
+The soldier didn't answer, but the bicycle man did.
+
+'Then you'd 'a helped yourself into the stone jug, my lad,' said he.
+'Help a dirty deserter? You're young enough to know better. Come along,
+you rubbish!'
+
+And they went.
+
+When they were gone Dicky said:
+
+'It's very rum. I hate cowards. And deserters are cowards. I don't see
+why we feel like this.'
+
+Alice and Dora and Noel were now discovered to be in tears.
+
+'Of course we did right to tell. Only when the soldier looked at me ...'
+said Oswald.
+
+'Yes,' said Dicky, 'that's just it.'
+
+In deepest gloom the party retraced its steps.
+
+As we went, Dora said with sniffs:
+
+'I suppose it was the bicycle man's duty.'
+
+'Of course,' said Oswald, 'but it wasn't _our_ duty. And I jolly well
+wish we hadn't!'
+
+'And such a beautiful day, too,' said Noel, sniffing in his turn.
+
+It _was_ beautiful. The afternoon had been dull, but now the sun was
+shining flat across the marshes, making everything look as if it had
+been covered all over with the best gold-leaf--marsh and trees, and
+roofs and stacks, and everything.
+
+That evening Noel wrote a poem about it all. It began:
+
+ 'Poor soldiers, why did you run away
+ On such a beautiful, beautiful day?
+ If you had run away in the rain,
+ Perhaps they would never have found you again,
+ Because then Oswald would not have been there
+ To show the hunter the way to your lair.'
+
+Oswald would have licked him for that--only Noel is not very strong, and
+there is something about poets, however young, that makes it rather like
+licking a girl. So Oswald did not even say what he thought--Noel cries
+at the least thing. Oswald only said, 'Let's go down to our pigman.'
+
+And we all went except Noel. He never will go anywhere when in the midst
+of making poetry. And Alice stayed with him, and H. O. was in bed.
+
+We told the pigman all about the deserters, and about our miserable
+inside remorsefulness, and he said he knew just how we felt.
+
+'There's quite enough agin a pore chap that's made a bolt of it without
+the rest of us a-joinin' in,' he said. 'Not as I holds with
+deserting--mean trick I call it. But all the same, when the odds is
+that heavy--thousands to one--all the army and the navy and the pleece
+and Parliament and the King agin one pore silly bloke. You wouldn't 'a
+done it a purpose, I lay.'
+
+'Not much,' said Oswald in gloomy dejection. 'Have a peppermint? They're
+extra strong.'
+
+When the pigman had had one he went on talking.
+
+'There's a young chap, now,' he said, 'broke out of Dover Gaol. I 'appen
+to know what he's in for--nicked a four-pound cake, he did, off of a
+counter at a pastrycook's--Jenner's it was, in the High Street--part
+hunger, part playfulness. But even if I wasn't to know what he was
+lagged for, do you think I'd put the coppers on to him? Not me. Give a
+fellow a chance is what I say. But don't you grizzle about them there
+Tommies. P'raps it'll be the making of 'em in the end. A slack-baked
+pair as ever wore boots. _I_ seed 'em. Only next time just you take and
+think afore you pipes up--see?'
+
+We said that we saw, and that next time we would do as he said. And we
+went home again. As we went Dora said:
+
+'But supposing it was a cruel murderer that had got loose, you ought to
+tell then.'
+
+'Yes,' said Dicky; 'but before you do tell you ought to be jolly sure it
+_is_ a cruel murderer, and not a chap that's taken a cake because he was
+hungry. How do you know what _you'd_ do if you were hungry enough?'
+
+'I shouldn't steal,' said Dora.
+
+'I'm not so sure,' said Dicky; and they argued about it all the way
+home, and before we got in it began to rain in torrents.
+
+Conversations about food always make you feel as though it was a very
+long time since you had had anything to eat. Mrs. Beale had gone home,
+of course, but we went into the larder. It is a generous larder. No
+lock, only a big wooden latch that pulls up with a string, like in Red
+Riding Hood. And the floor is clean damp red brick. It makes ginger-nuts
+soft if you put the bag on this floor. There was half a rhubarb pie, and
+there were meat turnovers with potato in them. Mrs. Beale is a
+thoughtful person, and I know many people much richer that are not
+nearly so thoughtful.
+
+We had a comfortable feast at the kitchen table, standing up to eat,
+like horses.
+
+Then we had to let Noel read us his piece of poetry about the soldier;
+he wouldn't have slept if we hadn't. It was very long, and it began as
+I have said, and ended up:
+
+ 'Poor soldiers, learn a lesson from to-day,
+ It is very wrong to run away;
+ It is better to stay
+ And serve your King and Country--hurray!'
+
+Noel owned that Hooray sounded too cheerful for the end of a poem about
+soldiers with faces like theirs were.
+
+'But I didn't mean it about the soldiers. It was about the King and
+Country. Half a sec. I'll put that in.' So he wrote:
+
+ 'P.S.--I do not mean to be unkind,
+ Poor soldiers, to you, so never mind.
+ When I say hurray or sing,
+ It is because I am thinking of my Country and my King.'
+
+'You can't sing Hooray,' said Dicky. So Noel went to bed singing it,
+which was better than arguing about it, Alice said. But it was noisier
+as well.
+
+Oswald and Dicky always went round the house to see that all the doors
+were bolted and the shutters up. This is what the head of the house
+always does, and Oswald is the head when father is not there. There are
+no shutters upstairs, only curtains. The White House, which is Miss
+Sandal's house's name, is not in the village, but 'quite a step' from
+it, as Mrs. Beale says. It is the first house you come to as you come
+along the road from the marsh.
+
+We used to look in the cupboard and under the beds for burglars every
+night. The girls liked us to, though they wouldn't look themselves, and
+I don't know that it was much good. If there _is_ a burglar, it's
+sometimes safer for you not to know it. Where ignorance is bliss, 'tis
+folly to find a burglar, especially as he would be armed to the teeth as
+likely as not. However, there is not much worth being a burglar about,
+in houses where the motto is plain living and high thinking, and there
+never was anyone in the cupboards or under the beds.
+
+Then we put out all the lights very carefully in
+case of fire--all except Noel's. He does not like the dark. He says
+there are things in it that go away when you light a candle, and however
+much you talk reason and science to him, it makes no difference at all.
+
+Then we got into our pyjamas. It was Oswald who asked father to let us
+have pyjamas instead of nightgowns; they are so convenient for dressing
+up when you wish to act clowns, or West Indian planters, or any
+loose-clothed characters. Then we got into bed, and then we got into
+sleep.
+
+Little did the unconscious sleepers reck of the strange destiny that was
+advancing on them by leaps and bounds through the silent watches of the
+night.
+
+Although we were asleep, the rain went on raining just the same, and the
+wind blowing across the marsh with the fury of a maniac who has been
+transformed into a blacksmith's bellows. And through the night, and the
+wind, and the rain, our dreadful destiny drew nearer and nearer. I wish
+this to sound as if something was going to happen, and I hope it does. I
+hope the reader's heart is now standing still with apprehensionness on
+our account, but I do not want it to stop altogether, so I will tell you
+that we were not all going to be murdered in our beds, or pass
+peacefully away in our sleeps with angel-like smiles on our young and
+beautiful faces. Not at all. What really happened was this. Some time
+must have elapsed between our closing our eyes in serene slumber and the
+following narrative:
+
+Oswald was awakened by Dicky thumping him hard in the back, and saying
+in accents of terror--at least, he says not, but Oswald knows what they
+sounded like:
+
+'What's that?'
+
+Oswald reared up on his elbow and listened, but there was nothing to
+listen to except Dicky breathing like a grampus, and the giggle-guggle
+of the rain-water overflowing from the tub under the window.
+
+'What's what?' said Oswald.
+
+He did not speak furiously, as many elder brothers would have done when
+suddenly awakened by thumps.
+
+'_That!_' said Dicky. 'There it is again!'
+
+And this time, certainly, there it was, and it sounded like somebody
+hammering on the front-door with his fists. There is no knocker to the
+plain-living, high-thinking house.
+
+Oswald controlled his fears, if he had any (I am not going to say
+whether he had or hadn't), and struck a match. Before the candle had had
+time to settle its flame after the first flare up that doesn't last, the
+row began again.
+
+Oswald's nerves are of iron, but it would have given anybody a start to
+see two white figures in the doorway, yet so it was. They proved to be
+Alice and Dora in their nighties; but no one could blame anyone for not
+being sure of this at first.
+
+'Is it burglars?' said Dora; and her teeth did chatter, whatever she may
+say.
+
+'_I_ think it's Mrs. Beale,' said Alice. 'I expect she's forgotten the
+key.'
+
+Oswald pulled his watch out from under his pillow.
+
+'It's half-past one,' he said.
+
+And then the knocking began again. So the intrepid Oswald went to the
+landing window that is over the front-door. The others went too. And he
+opened the window in his pyjamas and said, 'Who's there?'
+
+There was the scraping sound of boots on the doorstep, as somebody down
+there stepped back.
+
+'Is this the way to Ashford?' said the voice of a man.
+
+'Ashford's thirteen miles off,' said Oswald. 'You get on to the Dover
+road.'
+
+'I don't want to get on the Dover road,' said the voice; 'I've had
+enough of Dover.'
+
+A thrill ran through every heart. We all told each other so afterwards.
+
+'Well,' said Dicky, 'Ashford's thirteen miles----'
+
+'Anybody but you in the house?'
+
+'Say we've got men and dogs and guns,' whispered Dora.
+
+'There are six of us,' said Oswald, 'all armed to the teeth.'
+
+The stranger laughed.
+
+'I'm not a burglar,' he said; 'I've lost my way, that's all. I thought I
+should have got to Ashford before dusk, but I missed the way. I've been
+wandering all over these marshes ever since, in the rain. I expect
+they're out after me now, but I'm dead beat. I can't go on. Won't you
+let me in? I can sit by the kitchen fire.'
+
+Oswald drew his head back through the window, and a hasty council took
+place on the landing.
+
+'It _is_,' said Alice.
+
+'You heard what he said about Dover, and their being out after him?'
+
+'I say, you might let a chap in,' said the voice outside. 'I'm perfectly
+respectable. Upon my word I am.'
+
+'I wish he hadn't said that,' whispered Dora. [** ']Such a dreadful
+story! And we didn't even ask him if he was.'
+
+'He sounds very tired,' said Alice.
+
+'And wet,' said Oswald. 'I heard the water squelching in his boots.'
+
+'What'll happen if we don't let him in?' said Dicky.
+
+'He'll be caught and taken back, like the soldiers,' said Oswald. 'Look
+here, I'm going to chance it. You others can lock yourselves into your
+rooms if you're frightened.'
+
+Then Oswald put his brave young head out of the window, and the rain
+dripped on to the back of his bold young neck off the roof, like a
+watering-pot on to a beautiful flower, and he said:
+
+'There's a porch to the side door. Just scoot round there and shelter,
+and I'll come down in half a sec.'
+
+A resolve made in early youth never to face midnight encounters without
+boots was the cause of this delay. Oswald and Dicky got into their boots
+and jackets, and told the girls to go back to bed.
+
+Then we went down and opened the front-door. The stranger had heard the
+bolts go, and he was outside waiting.
+
+We held the door open politely, and he stepped in and began at once to
+drip heavily on the doormat.
+
+We shut the door. He looked wildly round.
+
+'Be calm! You are safe,' said Oswald.
+
+'Thanks,' said the stranger; 'I see I am.'
+
+All our hearts were full of pity for the outcast. He was, indeed, a
+spectacle to shock the benevolent. Even the prison people, Oswald
+thought, or the man he took the cake from, would have felt their
+fierceness fade if they could have seen him then. He was not in prison
+dress. Oswald would have rather liked to see that, but he remembered
+that it was safer for the man that he had found means to rid himself of
+the felon's garb. He wore a gray knickerbocker suit, covered with mud.
+The lining of his hat must have been blue, and it had run down his face
+in streaks like the gentleman in Mr. Kipling's story. He was wetter than
+I have ever seen anyone out of a bath or the sea.
+
+'Come into the kitchen,' said Oswald; 'you can drip there quite
+comfortably. The floor is brick.'
+
+He followed us into the kitchen.
+
+'Are you kids alone in the house?' he said.
+
+'Yes,' said Oswald.
+
+'Then I suppose it's no good asking if you've got a drop of brandy?'
+
+'Not a bit,' said Dicky.
+
+[Illustration: '"Come into the kitchen," said Oswald, "you can drip
+there quite comfortably."'--Page 52]
+
+'Whisky would do, or gin--any sort of spirit,' said the smeared stranger
+hopefully.
+
+'Not a drop,' said Oswald; 'at least, I'll look in the medicine
+cupboard. And, I say, take off your things and put them in the sink.
+I'll get you some other clothes. There are some of Mr. Sandal's.'
+
+The man hesitated.
+
+'It'll make a better disguise,' said Oswald in a low, significant
+whisper, and turned tactfully away, so as not to make the stranger feel
+awkward.
+
+Dicky got the clothes, and the stranger changed in the back-kitchen. The
+only spirit Oswald could find was spirits of salts, which the stranger
+said was poison, and spirits of camphor. Oswald gave him some of this on
+sugar; he knows it is a good thing when you have taken cold. The
+stranger hated it. He changed in the back-kitchen, and while he was
+doing it we tried to light the kitchen fire, but it would not; so Dicky
+went up to ask Alice for some matches, and finding the girls had not
+gone to bed as ordered, but contrarily dressed themselves, he let them
+come down. And then, of course, there was no reason why they should not
+light the fire. They did.
+
+When the unfortunate one came out of the back-kitchen he looked quite a
+decent chap, though still blue in patches from the lining of his hat.
+Dicky whispered to me what a difference clothes made.
+
+He made a polite though jerky bow to the girls, and Dora said:
+
+'How do you do? I hope you are quite well.'
+
+'As well as can be expected,' replied the now tidy outcast, 'considering
+what I've gone through.'
+
+'Tea or cocoa?' said Dora. 'And do you like cheese or cold bacon best?'
+
+'I'll leave it to you entirely,' he answered. And he added, without a
+pause, 'I'm sure I can trust you.'
+
+'Indeed you can,' said Dora earnestly; 'you needn't be a bit afraid.
+You're perfectly safe with us.'
+
+He opened his eyes at this.
+
+'He didn't expect such kindness,' Alice whispered. 'Poor man! he's quite
+overcome.'
+
+We gave him cocoa, and cheese, and bacon, and butter and bread, and he
+ate a great deal, with his feet in Mr. Sandal's all-wool boots on the
+kitchen fender.
+
+The girls wrung the water out of his clothes, and hung them on the
+clothes-horse on the other side of the fire.
+
+'I'm sure I'm very much obliged to you,' he said; 'real charity I call
+this. I shan't forget it, I assure you. I ought to apologise for
+knocking you up like this, but I'd been hours tramping through this
+precious marsh of yours wet to the skin, and not a morsel of food since
+mid-day. And yours was the first light I'd seen for a couple of hours.'
+
+'I'm very glad it _was_ us you knocked up,' said Alice.
+
+'So am I,' said he; 'I might have knocked at a great many doors before I
+got such a welcome. I'm quite aware of that.'
+
+He spoke all right, not like a labouring man; but it wasn't a
+gentleman's voice, and he seemed to end his sentences off short at the
+end, as though he had it on the tip of his tongue to say 'Miss' or
+'Sir.'
+
+Oswald thought how terrible it must be to be out alone in the rain and
+the dark, with the police after you, and no one to be kind to you if you
+knocked at their doors.
+
+'You must have had an awful day,' he said.
+
+'I believe you,' said the stranger, cutting himself more bacon. 'Thank
+you, miss (he really did say it that time), just half a cup if you don't
+mind. I believe you! I never want to have such a day again, I can tell
+you. I took one or two little things in the morning, but I wasn't in the
+mood or something. You know how it is sometimes.'
+
+'I can fancy it,' said Alice.
+
+'And then the afternoon clouded over. It cleared up at sunset, you
+remember, but then it was too late. And then the rain came on. Not half!
+My word! I've been in a ditch. Thought my last hour had come, I tell
+you. Only got out by the skin of my teeth. Got rid of my whole outfit.
+There's a nice thing to happen to a young fellow! Upon my Sam, it's
+enough to make a chap swear he'll never take another thing as long as he
+lives.'
+
+'I hope you never will,' said Dora earnestly; 'it doesn't pay, you
+know.'
+
+'Upon my word, that's nearly true, though I don't know how _you_ know,'
+said the stranger, beginning on the cheese and pickles.
+
+'I wish,' Dora was beginning, but Oswald interrupted. He did not think
+it was fair to preach at the man.
+
+'So you lost your outfit in the ditch,' he said; 'and how did you get
+those clothes?'
+
+He pointed to the steaming gray suit.
+
+'Oh,' replied the stranger, 'the usual way.'
+
+Oswald was too polite to ask what was the usual way of getting a gray
+suit to replace a prison outfit. He was afraid the usual way was the way
+the four-pound cake had been got.
+
+Alice looked at me helplessly. I knew just how she felt.
+
+Harbouring a criminal when people are 'out after him' gives you a very
+chilly feeling in the waistcoat--or, if in pyjamas, in the part that the
+plaited cotton cord goes round. By the greatest good luck there were a
+few of the extra-strong peppermints left. We had two each, and felt
+better.
+
+The girls put the sheets off Oswald's bed on to the bed Miss Sandal used
+to sleep in when not in London nursing the shattered bones of her
+tract-distributing brother.
+
+'If you will go to bed now,' Oswald said to the stranger, 'we will wake
+you in good time. And you may sleep as sound as you like. We'll wake you
+all right.'
+
+'You might wake me about eight,' he said; 'I ought to be getting on.
+I'm sure I don't know what to say in return for the very handsome
+reception you've given me. Good-night to you all, I'm sure.'
+
+'Good-night,' said everyone. And Dora added, 'Don't you bother. While
+you're asleep we'll think what's best to be done.'
+
+'Don't _you_ bother,' said the stranger, and he absently glanced at his
+own clothes. 'What's big enough to get out of's big enough to get into.'
+
+Then he took the candle, and Dicky showed him to his room.
+
+'What's big enough to get out of,' repeated Alice. 'Surely he doesn't
+mean to creep back into prison, and pretend he was there all the time,
+only they didn't notice him?'
+
+'Well, what are we to do?' asked Dicky, rejoining the rest of us. 'He
+told me the dark room at Dover was a disgrace. Poor chap!'
+
+'We must invent a disguise,' said Dora.
+
+'Let's pretend he's our aunt, and dress him up--like in "Hard Cash,"'
+said Alice.
+
+It was now three o'clock, but no one was sleepy. No one wanted to go to
+sleep at all till we had taken our candles up into the attic and
+rummaged through Miss Sandal's trunks, and found a complete disguise
+exactly suited to an aunt. We had everything--dress, cloak, bonnet,
+veil, gloves, petticoats, and even boots, though we knew all the time,
+in our hearts, that these were far too small. We put all ready on the
+parlour sofa, and then at last we began to feel in our eyes and ears and
+jaws how late it was. So we went back to bed. Alice said she knew how to
+wake exact to the minute, and we had known her do it before, so we
+trusted her, and agreed that she was to wake us at six.
+
+But, alas! Alice had deemed herself cleverer than she was, by long
+chalks, and it was not her that woke us.
+
+We were aroused from deep slumber by the voice of Mrs. Beale.
+
+'Hi!' it remarked,'wake up, young gentlemen! It's gone the half after
+nine, and your gentleman friend's up and dressed and a-waiting for his
+breakfast.'
+
+We sprang up.
+
+'I say, Mrs. Beale,' cried Oswald, who never even in sleep quite loses
+his presence of mind, 'don't let on to anyone that we've got a visitor.'
+
+She went away laughing. I suppose she thought it was some silly
+play-secret. She little knew.
+
+We found the stranger looking out of the window.
+
+'I wouldn't do that,' said Dora softly; 'it isn't safe. Suppose someone
+saw you?'
+
+'Well,' said he, 'suppose they did?'
+
+'They might take you, you know,' said Dora; 'it's done in a minute. We
+saw two poor men taken yesterday.'
+
+Her voice trembled at the gloomy recollection.
+
+'Let 'em take me,' said the man who wore the clothes of the plain-living
+and high-thinking Mr. Sandal; '_I_ don't mind so long as my ugly mug
+don't break the camera!'
+
+'We want to save you,' Dora was beginning; but Oswald, far-sighted
+beyond his years, felt a hot redness spread over his youthful ears and
+right down his neck. He said:
+
+'Please, what were you doing in Dover? And what did you take yesterday?'
+
+'I was in Dover on business,' said the man, 'and what I took was Hythe
+Church and Burmarsh Church, and----'
+
+'Then you didn't steal a cake and get put into Dover Gaol, and break
+loose, and----' said Dicky, though I kicked him as a sign not to.
+
+'_Me?_' said our friend. 'Not exactly!'
+
+'Then, _what_ are you? If you're not that poor escaped thief, what are
+you?' asked Dora fiercely, before Oswald could stop her.
+
+'I'm a photographer, miss,' said he--'a travelling photographer.'
+
+Then slowly but surely he saw it all, and I thought he would never have
+done laughing.
+
+ * * * * *
+
+'Breakfast is getting cold,' said Oswald.
+
+'So it is,' said our guest. 'Lordy, what a go! This'll be something to
+talk about between friends for many a year.'
+
+'No,' said Alice suddenly; 'we thought you were a runaway thief, and we
+wanted to help you whatever you were.' She pointed to the sofa, where
+the whole costume of the untrue aunt was lying in simple completeness.
+'And you're in honour bound never to tell a soul. Think,' she added in
+persuading tones--'think of the cold bacon and the cheese, and all those
+pickles you had, and the fire and the cocoa, and us being up all night,
+and the dry all-wool boots.'
+
+'Say no more, miss,' said the photographer (for such he indeed was)
+nobly. 'Your will is my law; I won't never breathe a word.'
+
+And he sat down to the ham and eggs as though it was weeks since he had
+tasted bacon.
+
+ * * * * *
+
+But we found out afterwards he went straight up to the Ship, and told
+everybody all about it. I wonder whether all photographers are
+dishonourable and ungrateful. Oswald hopes they are not, but he cannot
+feel at all sure.
+
+Lots of people chaffed us about it afterwards, but the pigman said we
+were jolly straight young Britons, and it is something to be called that
+by a man you really respect. It doesn't matter so much what the other
+people say--the people you don't really care about.
+
+When we told our Indian uncle about it he said, 'Nonsense! you ought
+never to try and shield a criminal.' But that was not at all the way we
+felt about it at the time when the criminal was there (or we thought he
+was), all wet, and hunted, and miserable, with people 'out after him.'
+He meant his friends who were expecting him, but we thought he meant
+police. It is very hard sometimes to know exactly what is right. If what
+_feels_ right _isn't_ right, how are you to know, I wonder.
+
+ * * * * *
+
+The only comforting thing about it all is that we heard next day that
+the soldiers had got away from the brown bicycle beast after all. I
+suppose it came home to them suddenly that they _were_ two to one, and
+they shoved him into a ditch and got away. They were never caught; I am
+very glad. And I suppose _that's_ wrong too--so many things are. But I
+_am_.
+
+
+
+
+THE ARSENICATORS
+
+A TALE OF CRIME
+
+
+It was Mrs. Beale who put it into our heads that Miss Sandal lived plain
+because she was poor. We knew she thought high, because that is what you
+jolly well have to do if you are a vegetationist and an all-wooler, and
+those sort of things.
+
+And we tried to get money for her, like we had once tried to do for
+ourselves. And we succeeded by means that have been told alone in
+another place in getting two golden pounds.
+
+Then, of course, we began to wonder what we had better do with the two
+pounds now we had got them.
+
+'Put them in the savings-bank,' Dora said.
+
+Alice said:
+
+'Why, when we could have them to look at?'
+
+Noel thought we ought to buy her something beautiful to adorn Miss
+Sandal's bare dwelling.
+
+H. O. thought we might spend it on nice tinned and potted things from
+the stores, to make the plain living and high thinking go down better.
+
+But Oswald knew that, however nice the presents are that other people
+buy for you, it is really more satisfying to have the chink to spend
+exactly as you like.
+
+Then Dicky said:
+
+'I don't believe in letting money lie idle. Father always says it's bad
+business.'
+
+'They give interest at the bank, don't they?' Dora said.
+
+'Yes; tuppence a year, or some rot like that! We ought to go into trade
+with it, and try to make more of it. That's what we ought to do.'
+
+'If it's Miss Sandal's money, do you think we ought to do anything with
+it without asking her?'
+
+'It isn't hers till she's got it, and it is hers because it's not ours
+to spend. I think we're--what is it?--_in loco parentis_ to that two
+quid, because anyone can see poor Miss Sandal doesn't know how to manage
+her money. And it will be much better if we give her ten pounds than
+just two.'
+
+This is how Dicky argued.
+
+We were sitting on the sands when this council took place, and Alice
+said, 'Suppose we bought a shrimping-net, and sold shrimps from our
+window in red handkerchiefs and white French caps.' But we asked her how
+she would like going into the sea nearly up to her neck in all weathers,
+and she had to own she had not thought of that. Besides, shrimps are so
+beastly cheap--more than you can eat for twopence.
+
+The conversation was not interesting to anyone but Dicky, because we did
+not then believe we could do it, though later we thought differently.
+But I dare say we should have gone on with it just out of politeness to
+him, only at this moment we saw a coastguard, who is a great friend of
+ours, waving to us from the sea-wall. So we went up. And he said:
+
+'You take my tip and cut along home. There's something come for you.'
+
+'Perhaps it's heaps of things, like I said, to eat with the plain
+living,' said H. O.
+
+And bright visions of hampers full of the most superior tuck winged our
+young legs as we cut along home.
+
+It was not, however, a hamper that we found awaiting us. It was a large
+box. And besides that there were two cases addressed to Dicky and me,
+and through the gaps in the boards we could see twisted straw, and our
+hearts leapt high in our breasts, because we knew that they were bikes.
+
+And such, indeed, they proved to be--free-wheels of the most unspotted
+character, the noble gift of our Indian uncle, ever amiable, generous,
+and esteemed.
+
+While we were getting the glorious bikes from their prison bars, the
+others were undoing the box which had their names on it.
+
+It contained cakes and sweets, a work-basket for Dora, lined with red
+satin, and dressed up with silver thimbles, and all sorts of bodkins and
+scissors, and knives with silver handles. There was a lovely box of
+paints for Alice.
+
+Noel had a paint-box too, and H. O. had a very good Aunt Sally. And
+there were lots of books--not the sawdusty, dry kind that Miss Sandal
+had in her house, but jolly good books, the kind you can't put down till
+you've finished. But just now we hardly looked at them. For who with a
+spark of manly spirit would think twice about a book with a new
+free-wheel champing the oil like a charger in a ballad?
+
+Dicky and I had a three-mile spin before dinner, and only fell off five
+times between us. Three spills were Dicky's, one was Oswald's, and one
+was when we ran into each other. The bikes were totally uninjured.
+
+As time ran its appointed course we got a bit used to the bikes, and,
+finding that you cannot ride all day and all night, we began to look at
+the books. Only one of them comes into this story. It was called 'The
+Youth's Manual of Scientific and Mechanical Recreation,' and, of course,
+we none of us read it till we'd read everything else, and then we found
+it wasn't half bad. It taught you how to make all sorts of
+things--galvanic batteries, and kites, and mouse-traps, and how to
+electroplate things, and how to do wood-carving and leather-work. We
+tried as many of the things as we had money for, and some of them
+succeeded. Then we made a fire-balloon.
+
+It took a long time to make, and then it caught fire and blazed away
+before we could get it launched.
+
+So we made another, and Noel dropped it near the water-butt, where there
+was a puddle, and, being tissue-paper, it was unable to stand the
+strain.
+
+So we made another. But the paste was bad, and it did not stick.
+
+So we made another.
+
+Then, at last, when all was ready, Oswald climbed on to the pigsty at
+Mrs. Beales', and held the balloon very steady while Dicky lighted the
+cotton-wool, soaked in spirits of wine, which hangs from the end (where
+cars are in larger sizes), and causes it to be called a fire-balloon. A
+taper is burned inside the balloon, and then, according to the book, 'it
+readily ascends, and is carried away by the wind, sometimes to a
+considerable distance.'
+
+Well, this time everything happened just as the book said, which is not
+always the case.
+
+It was a clear, dark night, bright stars only. And, to our relief and
+agreeable surprise, our balloon rose up and sailed away, dragging its
+lighted tail like a home-made comet.
+
+It sailed away over the marshes, getting smaller and smaller, and at
+last it was, though lost to sight, to memory dear. Some of us thought it
+wasn't worth doing, but Oswald was glad he had persevered. He does hate
+to be beaten. However, we none of us cared to make another, so we went
+to bed.
+
+Dicky always goes to sleep directly on these occasions, but Oswald, more
+thoughtful for his years, sometimes reviews the events of the day. He
+must have been nearly asleep, because he was just reviewing an elephant
+that flew with a lamp inside, so that it looked like a fire-balloon,
+when Alice suddenly came and woke him up completely.
+
+'Beware!' she said in tones of awe.
+
+And he said, but not crossly:
+
+'Well, what on earth's up now?'
+
+'The fire-balloon!' replied Alice.
+
+'What about it?' he rejoined, still calm and kind, though roused from
+his reviews.
+
+'Why, it came to me all in a minute! Oh, Oswald--when it comes
+down--there are lots of farms in the march. Suppose it comes down and
+sets light to something! It's a crime--arsenic or something--and you can
+be hanged for it!'
+
+'Don't be an idiot!' said Oswald kindly. 'The book wouldn't have told
+youths how to make them if they were crimes. Go back to bed, for
+goodness' sake!'
+
+'I wish we hadn't--oh, I do!' said Alice.
+
+But she did as she was told. Oswald has taught her this.
+
+Next day her fears had stopped, like silent watches in the night, and
+we began to make a trap for badgers--in case we ever found one.
+
+But Dicky went to the top of the mill with some field-glasses he had
+borrowed from Mr. Carrington to look at distant ships with, and he burst
+into the busy circle of badger-trap makers, and said:
+
+'I say, come and look! There's a fire in the marsh!'
+
+'There!' said Alice, dropping the wire pliers on her good elder
+brother's foot. 'What did I tell you?'
+
+We all tore to the top of the mill, and sure enough, far across the
+sunny green marshes rose a little cloud of smoke, and blue and yellow
+flames leaped out every now and then. We all took turns to look through
+the glasses.
+
+Then Oswald said:
+
+'This is no time for looking through field-glasses with your mouths
+open. We must go and help. We might fetch the fire-engines or something.
+The bikes, Dicky!'
+
+Almost instantly we were in the saddle and tearing along the level marsh
+towards the direction of the fire. At first we got down at every
+crossroad and used the field-glasses to see which way to go; but as we
+got nearer, or the fire got bigger, or perhaps both, we could see it
+quite plainly with the naked eye. It was much further off than we had
+thought, but we rode on undaunted, regardless of fatigue and of
+dinner-time, being now long gone by.
+
+We got to the fire at last. It was at Crown Ovender Farm, and we had to
+lift the bikes over fences and wheel them over ploughed fields to get
+there, because we did not know the right way by road.
+
+Crown Ovender is a little farmhouse, and a barn opposite, and a great
+rick-yard, and two of the ricks were alight. They smoked horribly, and
+the wind blew the hot smoke into your eyes, and every now and then you
+saw great flames--yards long they seemed--leap out as if they were
+crying to get to the house.
+
+We had put our bikes in a ditch a field away, and now we went all round
+about to ask if we could help; but there wasn't a soul to be seen.
+
+We did not know what to do. Even Oswald--always full of resource--almost
+scratched his head, which seems to help some people to think, though I
+don't think it ever would me, besides not looking nice.
+
+'I wish we'd told them in the village,' said Dicky.
+
+We had not done this, and the reason, the author is ashamed to say, was
+because we wanted to get there before anyone else. This was very
+selfish, and the author has often regretted it.
+
+The flames were growing larger and fiercer, and the tar on the side of
+the barn next the rick-yard was melting and running down like treacle.
+
+'There's a well!' said Dicky suddenly. 'It isn't a deep well, and there
+are two buckets.'
+
+Oswald understood. He drew up the water, and Dicky took the buckets as
+they came up full and dripping and dashed the water on to the tarry face
+of the barn. It hissed and steamed. We think it did some good. We took
+it in turns to turn the well-wheel. It was hard work, and it was
+frightfully hot. Then suddenly we heard a horrid sound, a sort of
+out-of-breath scream, and there was a woman, very red in the face and
+perspiring, climbing over the fence.
+
+'Hallo!' said Oswald.
+
+'Oh!' the woman said, panting, 'it's not the house, then? Thank them as
+be it's not the house! Oh, my heart alive, I thought it was the house!'
+
+'It isn't the house,' said Oswald; 'but it jolly soon will be!'
+
+'Oh, my pore Lily!' said the woman. 'With this 'ere wind the house 'll
+be alight in a minute. And her a-bed in there! Where's Honeysett?'
+
+'There's no one here but us. The house is locked up,' we said.
+
+'Yes, I know, 'cause of tramps. Honeysett's got the key. I comes in as
+soon as I've cleared dinner away. She's ill a-bed, sleeping like a lamb,
+I'll be bound, all unknowing of her burning end.'
+
+'We _must_ get her out,' said Oswald.
+
+But the woman didn't seem to know what to do. She kept on saying,
+'Where's Honeysett? Oh, drat him! where's that Honeysett?'
+
+So then Oswald felt it was the time to be a general, like he always
+meant to if he got the chance. He said, 'Come on!' and he took a stone
+and broke the kitchen window, and put his hand through the jagged hole
+and unfastened the catch, and climbed in. The back-door was locked and
+the key gone, but the front-door was only bolted inside. But it stuck
+very tight, from having been painted and shut before the paint was dry,
+and never opened again.
+
+Oswald couldn't open it. He ran back to the kitchen window and shouted
+to the others.
+
+'Go round to the other door and shove for all you're worth!' he cried in
+the manly tones that all must obey.
+
+So they went; but Dicky told me afterwards that the woman didn't shove
+for anything like all she was worth. In fact, she wouldn't shove at all,
+till he had to make a sort of battering-ram of her, and then she seemed
+to awake from a dream, and they got the door open.
+
+We followed the woman up the stairs and into a bedroom, and there was
+another woman sitting up in bed trembling, and her mouth opening and
+shutting.
+
+'Oh, it's you, Eliza,' she said, falling back against the pillows. 'I
+thought it were tramps.'
+
+Eliza did not break things to the sufferer gently, like we should have
+done, however hurried.
+
+'Mercy you aren't burnt alive in your bed, Lily!' she merely remarked.
+'The place is all ablaze!'
+
+Then she rolled her sick sufferer in a blanket and took hold of her
+shoulders, and told us to take her feet.
+
+But Oswald was too calm to do this suddenly. He said:
+
+'Where are you going to put her?'
+
+'Anywheres!' said Eliza wildly--'anywheres is better than this here.'
+
+'There's plenty of time,' said Oswald; and he and Dicky rushed into
+another room, and got a feather-bed and bedclothes, and hunched them
+down the stairs, and dragged them half a field away, and made a bed in a
+nice dry ditch. And then we consented to carry the unfortunate bed-woman
+to it.
+
+The house was full of smoke by this time, though it hadn't yet caught
+fire; and I tell you we felt just like heroic firemen as we stumbled
+down the crookety narrow stairs, back first, bearing the feet of the
+sick woman. Oswald did so wish he had had a fireman's helmet to put on!
+
+When we got the fading Lily to her dry ditch, she clutched Oswald's arm
+and whispered:
+
+'Save the sticks!'
+
+'What sticks?' asked Oswald, who thought it was the ragings of delirium.
+
+'She means the furniture,' said Eliza; 'but I'm afraid its doom is
+written on high.'
+
+[Illustration: 'We consented to carry the unfortunate bed-woman to
+it.'--Page 76]
+
+'Rubbish!' said Oswald kindly; and we flew back, us boys dragging Eliza
+with us.
+
+There didn't seem to be much furniture in the house, but when we began
+to move it, it at once seemed to multiply itself with the rapidity of
+compound interest. We got all the clothes out first, in drawers and
+clothes-baskets, and tied up in sheets. Eliza wasn't much use. The only
+thing she could do was to look for a bed-key to unscrew the iron
+bedsteads; but Oswald and Dicky toiled on. They carried out chairs and
+tables and hearthrugs. As Oswald was staggering on under a Windsor
+armchair, with a tea-tray and an ironing-board under his arms, he ran
+into a man.
+
+'What's up?' said he.
+
+'Fire!' said Oswald.
+
+'I seed that,' said the man.
+
+Oswald shoved the chair and other things on to the man.
+
+'Then lend a hand to get the things away,' he said.
+
+And more and more people came, and all worked hard; but Oswald and Dicky
+did most. Eliza never even found that bed-key, because when she saw
+people beginning to come thicker and thicker across the fields, like
+ants hurrying home, she went out and told everyone over and over again
+that Honeysett had got the key.
+
+Then a woman came along, and Eliza got her into a corner by the stairs
+and jawed. I heard part of the jaw.
+
+'An' pore Mrs. Simpkins, her man he's gone to Ashford Market with his
+beasts and the three other men, and me and my man said we'd have Liz up
+at my place, her being my sister, so as Honeysett could go off to Romney
+about the sheep. But she wouldn't come, not though we brought the light
+cart over for her. So we thought it best Honeysett stayed about his
+work, and go for the sheep to-morrow.'
+
+'Then the house would ha' been all empty but for her not being wishful
+to go along of you?' Oswald heard the other say.
+
+'Yes,' said Eliza; 'an' so you see----'
+
+'You keep your mouth shut,' the other woman fiercely said; 'you're
+Lily's sister, but Tom, he's my brother. If you don't shut your silly
+mouth you'll be getting of them into trouble. It's insured, ain't it?'
+
+'I don't see,' said Eliza.
+
+'You don't never see nothing,' said the other. 'You just don't say a
+word 'less you're arst, and then only as you come to look after her and
+found the fire a-raging something crool.'
+
+'But why----'
+
+The other woman clawed hold of her and dragged her away, whispering
+secretly.
+
+All this time the fire was raging, but there were lots of men now to
+work the well and the buckets, and the house and the barn had not
+caught.
+
+When we had got out all the furniture, some of the men set to work on
+the barn, and, of course, Oswald and Dicky, though weary, were in this
+also. They helped to get out all the wool--bundles and bundles and
+bundles of it; but when it came to sacks of turnip seed and things, they
+thought they had had enough, and they went to where the things were that
+had come out of the larder, and they got a jug of milk and some bread
+and cheese, and took it to the woman who was lying in the dry ditch on
+the nice bed they had so kindly made for her. She drank some milk, and
+asked them to have some, and they did, with bread and cheese (Dutch),
+and jolly glad they were of it.
+
+Just as we had finished we heard a shout, and there was the fire-engine
+coming across the field.
+
+I do like fire-engines. They are so smart and fierce, and look like
+dragons ready to fight the devouring element.
+
+It was no use, however, in spite of the beautiful costumes of the
+firemen, because there was no water, except in the well, and not much
+left of that.
+
+The man named Honeysett had ridden off on an old boneshaker of his to
+fetch the engines. He had left the key in the place where it was always
+kept, only Eliza had not had the sense to look for it. He had left a
+letter for her, too, written in red pencil on the back of a bill for a
+mowing-machine. It said: 'Rix on fir'; going to git fir'-injins.'
+
+Oswald treasures this letter still as a memento of happier days.
+
+When Honeysett saw the line of men handing up buckets to throw on the
+tarry wall, he said:
+
+'That ain't no manner of use. Wind's changed a hour agone.'
+
+And so it had. The flames were now reaching out the other way, and two
+more ricks were on fire. But the tarry walls were quite cool, and very
+wet, and the men who were throwing the water were very surprised to
+find that they were standing in a great puddle.
+
+And now, when everything in the house and the barn was safe, Oswald had
+time to draw his breath and think, and to remember with despair exactly
+who it was that had launched a devastating fire-balloon over the
+peaceful marsh.
+
+It was getting dusk by this time; but even the splendour of all those
+burning ricks against the darkening sky was merely wormwood and gall to
+Oswald's upright heart, and he jolly soon saw that it was the same to
+Dicky's.
+
+'I feel pretty sick,' he said. 'Let's go home.'
+
+'They say the whole eleven ricks are bound to go,' said Dicky, 'with the
+wind the way it is.'
+
+'_We're_ bound to go,' said Oswald.
+
+'Where?' inquired the less thoughtful Dicky.
+
+'To prison,' said his far-seeing brother, turning away and beginning to
+walk towards the bicycles.
+
+'We can't be sure it was our balloon,' said Dicky, following.
+
+'Pretty average,' said Oswald bitterly.
+
+'But no one would know it was us if we held our tongues.'
+
+'We can't hold our tongues,' Oswald said; 'if we do someone else will be
+blamed, as sure as fate. You didn't hear what that woman said about
+insurance money.'
+
+'We might wait and see if anyone _does_ get into trouble, and _then_
+come forward,' said Dicky.
+
+And Oswald owned they might do that, but his heart was full of despair
+and remorse.
+
+Just as they got to their bikes a man met them.
+
+'All lost, I suppose?' he said, jerking his thumb at the blazing
+farmyard.
+
+'Not all,' said Dicky; 'we saved the furniture and the wool and
+things----'
+
+The man looked at us, and said heavily:
+
+'Very kind of you, but it was all insured.'
+
+'Look here,' said Oswald earnestly, 'don't you say that to anyone else.'
+
+'Eh?' said the man.
+
+'If you do, they're safe to think you set fire to it yourself!'
+
+He stared, then he frowned, then he laughed, and said something about
+old heads on young shoulders, and went on.
+
+We went on, too, in interior gloom, that only grew gloomier as we got
+nearer and nearer home.
+
+We held a council that night after the little ones had gone to bed. Dora
+and Alice seemed to have been crying most of the day. They felt a little
+better when they heard that no one had been burned to death. Alice told
+me she had been thinking all day of large families burned to little
+cinders. But about telling of the fire-balloon we could not agree.
+
+Alice and Oswald thought we ought. But Dicky said 'Wait,' and Dora said
+'Write to father about it.'
+
+Alice said:
+
+'No; it doesn't make any difference about our not being sure whether our
+balloon _was_ the cause of destruction. I _expect_ it was, and, anyway,
+we ought to own up.'
+
+'I feel so too,' said Oswald; 'but I do wish I knew how long in prison
+you got for it.'
+
+We went to bed without deciding anything.
+
+And very early in the morning Oswald woke, and he got up and looked out
+of the window, and there was a great cloud of smoke still going up from
+the doomed rickyard. So then he went and woke Alice, and said:
+
+'Suppose the police have got that poor farmer locked up in a noisome
+cell, and all the time it's _us_.'
+
+'That's just what _I_ feel,' said Alice.
+
+Then Oswald said, 'Get dressed.'
+
+And when she had, she came out into the road, where Oswald, pale but
+resolute, was already pacing with firm steps. And he said:
+
+'Look here, let's go and tell. Let's say you and I made the balloon. The
+others can stop out of it if they like.'
+
+'They won't if it's really prison,' said Alice. 'But it would be noble
+of us to try it on. Let's----'
+
+But we found we didn't know who to tell.
+
+'It seems so fatal to tell the police,' said Alice; 'there's no getting
+out of it afterwards. Besides, he's only Jameson, and he's very stupid.'
+
+The author assures you you do not know what it is like to have a crime
+like arsenic on your conscience, and to have gone to the trouble and
+expense of making up your mind to confess it, and then not to know who
+to.
+
+We passed a wretched day. And all the time the ricks were blazing. All
+the people in the village went over with carts and bikes to see the
+fire--like going to a fair or a show. In other circumstances we should
+have done the same, but now we had no heart for it.
+
+In the evening Oswald went for a walk by himself, and he found his
+footsteps turning towards the humble dwelling of the Ancient Mariner who
+had helped us in a smuggling adventure once.
+
+The author wishes to speak the truth, so he owns that perhaps Oswald had
+some idea that the Ancient Mariner, who knew so much about smugglers and
+highwaymen, might be able to think of some way for us to save ourselves
+from prison without getting an innocent person put into it. Oswald found
+the mariner smoking a black pipe by his cottage door. He winked at
+Oswald as usual. Then Oswald said:
+
+'I want to ask your advice; but it's a secret. I know you can keep
+secrets.'
+
+When the aged one had agreed to this, Oswald told him all. It was a
+great relief.
+
+The mariner listened with deep attention, and when Oswald had quite
+done, he said:
+
+'It ain't the stone jug this time mate. That there balloon of yours, I
+see it go up--fine and purty 'twas, too.'
+
+'We all saw it go _up_,' said Oswald in despairing accents. 'The
+question is, where did it come down?'
+
+'At Burmarsh, sonny,' was the unexpected and unspeakably relieving
+reply. 'My sister's husband's niece--it come down and lodged in their
+pear-tree--showed it me this morning, with the red ink on it what
+spelled your names out.'
+
+Oswald, only pausing to wring the hand of his preserver, tore home on
+the wings of the wind to tell the others.
+
+I don't think we were ever so glad of anything in our lives. It is a
+frightfully blighting thing when you believe yourself to be an
+Arsenicator (or whatever it is) of the deepest dye.
+
+As soon as we could think of anything but our own cleanness from guilt,
+we began to fear the worst of Tom Simkins, the farmer at Crown Ovenden.
+But _he_ came out of it, like us, without a stain on his fair name,
+because he and his sister and his man Honeysett all swore that he had
+given a tramp leave to sleep up against the beanstack the night before
+the fire, and the tramp's pipe and matches were found there. So he got
+his insurance money; but the tramp escaped.
+
+But when we told father all about it, he said he wished he had been a
+director of that fire insurance company.
+
+We never made another fire-balloon. Though it was not us that time, it
+might have been. And we know now but too well the anxieties of a life of
+crime.
+
+
+
+
+THE ENCHANCERIED HOUSE
+
+A STORY ABOUT THE BASTABLES
+
+
+The adventure which I am about to relate was a very long time ago, and
+it was nobody's fault. The part of it that was most like a real crime
+was caused by H. O. not being at that date old enough to know
+better--and this was nobody's fault--though we took care that but a
+brief half-hour elapsed between the discovery of his acts and his
+_being_ old enough to know better, and knowing it, too (better, I mean),
+quite thoroughly. We were residing at the residence of an old nurse of
+father's while Dora was engaged in the unagreeable pastime of having
+something catching at home. If she had been with us most likely none of
+this would have happened. For she has an almost unerring nose for right
+and wrong. Or perhaps what the author means is that she never does the
+kind of thing that grown-ups don't like your doing. Father's old nurse
+was very jolly to us, and did not bother too much, except about wet
+feet and being late for meals, and not airing your shirt before you put
+it on. But it is part of the nature of the nicest grown-ups to bother
+about these little things, and we must not be hard on them for it, for
+no one can help their natures.
+
+The part where old nurse's house was was where London begins to leave
+off being London, but before it can make up its mind not to be it. There
+are fields and bits of lanes and hedges, but the rows of ugly little
+houses go creeping along like yellow caterpillars, eating up the green
+fields. There are brickfields here and there, and cabbage fields, and
+places where rhubarb is grown. And it is much more interesting than real
+town, because there is more room to do things in, and not so many people
+to say 'Don't!' when you do.
+
+Nurse's house was the kind that is always a house, no matter how much
+you pretend it is a baron's castle or an enchanted palace. And to play
+at its being a robber's cave or any part of a pirate ship is simply
+silly, and no satisfaction to anyone. There were no books except sermons
+and the Wesleyan Magazine. And there was a green cut-paper fuzziness on
+the frame of the looking-glass in the parlour. There was a garden--at
+least, there was enough ground for one, but nothing grew there except
+nettles and brick-bats and one elder-tree, and a poor old oak-tree that
+had seen better days. There was a hole in the fence, very convenient for
+going through in a hurry.
+
+One morning there had been what old nurse called a 'set out' because
+Noel was writing some of his world-without-end poetry, and he had got as
+far as
+
+ 'How beautiful the sun and moon
+ And all the stars appear!
+ They really are a long way off,
+ Although they look very near.'
+
+ 'I do not think that they are worlds,
+ But apples on a tree;
+ The angels pick them whenever they like,
+ But it is not so with me.
+ I wish I was a little angel-child
+ To gather stars for my tea,'
+
+before Dicky found out that he was writing it on the blank leaf at the
+end of the Latin prize Dicky got at the Preparatory School.
+
+Noel--for mysterious reasons unknown to Fame--is Alice's favourite
+brother, and of course she stood up for him, and said he didn't mean it.
+
+And things were said on both sides, and the rest of us agreed with Dicky
+that Noel was old enough to know better. It ended in Alice and Noel
+going out for a walk by themselves as soon as Noel had had the crying
+washed off his hands and face.
+
+The rest of us spent the shining hours in getting a board and nailing it
+up in the oak-tree for a look-out station, in case of Saracens arriving
+with an army to attack London. The oak is always hard to climb, and this
+was a peculiarly hard day, because the next-door people had tied a
+clothes-line to the oak, and hung their wet washing out on the line.
+
+The sun was setting (in the west as usual) before Alice and Noel
+returned. They came across the wide fields from the direction of a
+pinewood that we had never explored yet, though always meaning to.
+
+'There!' said Dicky, 'they've been and gone to the pinewood all by
+themselves.'
+
+But the hatchet Dicky was still cherishing in his breast was buried at
+once under the first words spoken by the returning party of explorers.
+
+'Oh, Oswald,' said Alice, 'oh, Dicky, we've found a treasure!'
+
+Dicky hammered the last nail into the Saracen watch-tower.
+
+'Not a real money one?' he said, dropping the hammer--which was a
+careless thing to do, and the author told him so at the time.
+
+'No, not a money one, but it's real all the same. Let's have a council,
+and I'll tell you.'
+
+It was then that Dicky showed that if he dropped hammers it was not
+because he could not bury hatchets. He said, 'Righto! There's room for
+us all up here. Catch hold, Noel. Oswald, give him a shove up. Alice and
+he can sit in the Saracens' watch-tower, and I'll keep hold of H. O. if
+you'll hand him up.'
+
+Alice was full of the politest compliments about the architecture of the
+Saracens' watch-tower, and Noel said:
+
+'I say, Dicky, I'm awfully sorry about your prize.'
+
+'It's all right,' said Dicky; 'I rubbed it out with bread.'
+
+Noel opened his mouth. He looks like a very young bird when he does
+this.
+
+'Then my beautiful poem's turned into dirty bread-crumbs,' he said
+slowly.
+
+'Never mind,' said Alice; 'I remember nearly every word of it: we'll
+write it out again after tea.'
+
+'I thought you'd be so pleased,' Noel went on, 'because it makes a book
+more valuable to have an author's writing in it. Albert's uncle told me
+so.'
+
+'But it has to be the same author that wrote the book,' Alice explained,
+'and it was Caesar wrote that book. And you aren't Caesar _yet_, you
+know.'
+
+'Nor don't want to be,' said Noel.
+
+Oswald now thought that politeness was satisfied on both sides, so he
+said:
+
+'What price treasures?'
+
+And then Alice told. But it had to be in whispers, because the next-door
+people, who always did things at times when not convenient to us, were
+now taking in their washing off the line. I heard them remark that it
+was a 'good drying day.'
+
+'Well,' Alice mysteriously observed, 'it was like this. (Do you think
+the Saracens' watch-tower is really safe for two? It seems to go down
+awfully much in the middle.)'
+
+'Sit nearer the ends, then,' said Oswald. 'Well?'
+
+'We thought we would go to the pinewoods because of reading in Bret
+Harte that the resinous balsam of the pine is healing to the wounded
+spirit.'
+
+'I should have thought if anybody's spirit was wounded...' said Dicky in
+tones of heatening indignantness.
+
+'Yes, I know. But you'd got the oak, and I expect oaks are just as good,
+if not better, especially for English people, because of Oakapple
+Day--and----Where was I?'
+
+We told her.
+
+'So we went, and it is a very nice wood--quite tulgy, you know. We
+expected to see a Bandersnatch every minute, didn't we, Noel? It's not
+very big, though, and on the other side there's an enchanted
+desert--rather bare, with patches of grass and brambles. And in the very
+middle of it we found the treasure.'
+
+'Let's have a squint at the treasure,' said Dicky. 'Did you fetch it
+along?'
+
+Noel and Alice sniggered.
+
+'Not exactly,' said Alice; 'the treasure is a _house_.'
+
+'It's an enchanted house,' said Noel, 'and it's a deserted house, and
+the garden is like in "The Sensitive Plant" after the lady has given up
+attending.'
+
+'Did you go in?' we asked.
+
+'No,' said Alice; 'we came back for you. And we asked an old man, and
+he _did_ say it was in Chancery, so no one can live in it.'
+
+H. O. asked what was enchancery.
+
+'I'm certain the old man meant enchanted,' said Noel, 'only I expect
+that's the old-fashioned word for it. Enchanceried is a very nice word.
+And it means it's an enchanted house, just like I said.'
+
+Nurse now came out to remark, 'Tea, my dears,' so we left the Saracens'
+tower and went in to that meal.
+
+Noel began to make a poem called 'The Enchanceried House,' but we got
+him to stop till there was more for him to write about. There soon was
+more, and more than enough, as it turned out.
+
+The setting sun had set, but it had left a redness in the sky (like one
+of those distant fires that you go after, and they are always miles from
+where you are) which shone through the pinetrees. The house looked
+black and mysterious against the strawberry-ice-coloured horizon.
+
+It was a good-sized house. The bottom-floor windows were boarded up. It
+had a Sensitive-Plantish garden and a paved yard and outhouses. The
+garden had a high wall with glass on top, but Oswald and Dicky got into
+the yard. Green grass was growing between the paving-stones. The corners
+of the stable and coach-house doors were rough, as if from the attacks
+of rats, but we never saw any of these stealthy rodents. The back-door
+was locked, but we climbed up on the water-butt and looked through a
+little window, and saw a plate-rack, and a sink with taps, and a copper,
+and a broken coal-scuttle. It was very exciting.
+
+The day after we went again, and this time we borrowed the next-door
+people's clothes-line, and by tying it in loops made a sort of
+rope-ladder, and then all of us got over. We had a glorious game
+besieging the pigsty, and all the military orders had to be given in
+whispers for fear of us being turned out if anyone passed and heard us.
+We found the pinewood, and the field, and the house had all got boards
+to say what would be done to trespassers with the utmost rigour of the
+law. It was such a swat untying the knots in the next-door people's
+clothes-line, that we only undid one; and then we bought them a new line
+with our own pocket-money, and kept the rope-ladder in a hidden bed of
+nettles, always on the spot and ready for us.
+
+We found a way of going round, and getting to the house through a hole
+in a hedge and across a lane, so as not to go across the big fields
+where every human eye could mark our proceedings, and come after us and
+tell us not to.
+
+We went there every day. It would have been a terrible thing if an army
+of bloodthirsty Saracens had chosen that way to march on London, for
+there was hardly ever a look-out in the tower now.
+
+It was a jolly place to play in, and Oswald had found out what 'in
+Chancery' really means, so he had no fear of being turned into a
+pig-headed lady, or marble from the waist down.
+
+And after a bit we began to want to get into the house, and we wanted it
+so much that our hearts got quite cold about the chicken-house and the
+pigsty, which at first had been a fairy dream of delight.
+
+But the doors were all locked. We got all the old keys we could, but
+they were all the keys of desks and workboxes and tea-caddies, and not
+the right size or shape for doors.
+
+Then one day Oswald, with his justly celebrated observingness, noticed
+that one of the bars was loose in the brickwork of a sort of
+half-underground window. To pull it out was to the lion-hearted youth
+but the work of a moment. He got down through the gap thus obtained, and
+found himself in a place like a very small area, only with no steps, and
+with bars above him, broken glass and matted rags and straw beneath his
+enterprising boots, and on one side a small cobwebby window. He got out
+again and told the others, who were trying to get up the cobblestones
+by the stable so as to make an underground passage into the stable at
+the ratty corner of its door.
+
+They came at once, and, after a brief discussion, it was decided to
+break the window a little more than it was already, and to try to get in
+a hand that could unlatch the window. Of course, as Oswald had
+found the bar, it was to be his hand.
+
+The dauntless Oswald took off his jacket, and, wrapping it round his
+fist, shoved at the pane nearest the window fastening. The glass fell
+inwards with the noise you would expect. In newspapers I suppose they
+would call it a sickening thud. Really it was a sort of hollow tinkling
+sound. It made even Oswald jump, and H. O. said:
+
+'Suppose the window opens straight into a bottomless well!'
+
+We did not think this likely, but you cannot be too careful when you are
+exploring.
+
+Oswald got in his hand and undid the window fastening, which was very
+rusty. The window opened out like a door. There was only just room in
+the area under the bars for Oswald and the opening of the window. He
+leaned forward and looked in. He was not surprised to find that it was
+not a well, after all, but a cellar.
+
+'Come on,' he said; 'it's all right.'
+
+Dicky came on so rapidly that his boots grazed the shoulder of the
+advancing Oswald. Alice was coming next, but Noel begged her to wait.
+
+'I don't think H. O. ought to go in till we're sure it's safe,' he said;
+and Oswald hopes it was not because Noel was in a funk himself, though
+with a poet you never know.
+
+The cellar into which Oswald now plunged had a damp and mouldering
+smell, like of mouse-traps, and straw, and beer-barrels. Another cellar
+opened out of it, and in this there was traces of coal having existed in
+other ages.
+
+Passing the coal-cellar, we went out to a cellar with shelves on the
+wall like berths in a ship, or the catacombs where early Christians
+used to be bricked up. Of course, we knew it was only a wine-cellar,
+because we have one at home. Matches had to be used here. Then we found
+a flight of stone steps and went up. And Oswald is not ashamed to own
+that, the staircase being of a twisty nature, he did think what it would
+be like if he and Dicky were to meet Something at one of the corners;
+but all was peace and solitude. Yet it was with joy, and like meeting an
+old friend, that we got out of the cellars, stairs, and through a door
+to the back-kitchen, where the sink was, and the copper and the
+plate-rack. Oswald felt like a brother to the broken coal-scuttle. Our
+first instant thought was the back door.
+
+It was bolted top and bottom, and the bolts were sort of cemented into
+their places with rust. But they were unable to resist our patient and
+determined onslaught. Only when we had undone them the door kept shut,
+and by stooping down and looking we saw that this was because it was
+locked.
+
+Dicky at once despaired, and said, 'It's no go.'
+
+But the researchful Oswald looked round, and there was a key on a nail,
+which shows how wrong it is to despair.
+
+It was not the right key, proving later to be the key of the
+chicken-house. So we went into the hall. There was a bunch of keys on a
+nail on the back of the front-door.
+
+'There now, you see I was right,' remarked Oswald. And he was, as is so
+often the case. All the keys had labels, and one of these said
+'Back-kitchen,' so we applied it at once, and the locked door yielded to
+it.
+
+'You can bring H. O. in quite safely,' Oswald said when the door had
+creakingly consented to open itself, and to disclose the sunshine, and
+the paved yard with the paving stones marked out with green grass, and
+the interested expressions on the faces of Alice and the others. 'It's
+quite safe. It's just a house like anyone else's, only it hasn't got any
+furniture in it.'
+
+We went all over the house. There were fourteen rooms altogether,
+fifteen if you counted the back-kitchen where the plate-warmer was, and
+the copper, and the sink with the taps, and the brotherly coal-scuttle.
+The rooms were quite different from the ones in old nurse's house. Noel
+said he thought all the rooms in this house had been the scene of duels
+or elopements, or concealing rightful heirs. The present author doesn't
+know about that, but there was a splendid cupboardiness about the place
+that spoke volumes to a discerning eye. Even the window seats, of which
+there were six, lifted up like the lids of boxes, and you could have
+hidden a flying Cavalier in any of them, if he had been of only medium
+height and slender build, like heroes with swords so often are.
+
+Then there were three staircases, and these must have been darkly
+convenient for getting conspirators away when the King's officers were
+at the door, as so constantly happened in romantic times.
+
+The whole house was full of ideas for ripping games, and when we came
+away Alice said:
+
+'We must be really better than we know. We must have done _something_ to
+deserve a find like this.'
+
+'Don't worry,' said Oswald. 'Albert's uncle says you always have to pay
+for everything. We haven't paid for this yet.'
+
+This reflection, like so many of our young hero's, was correct.
+
+I have not yet told you about the finest find of all the fine finds we
+found finally (that looks very odd, and I am not sure if it is
+allity-what's-its-name, or only carelessness. I wonder whether other
+authors are ever a prey to these devastating doubts?) This find was on
+the top floor. It was a room with bars to the windows, and it was a very
+odd shape. You went along a passage to the door, and then there was the
+room; but the room went back along the same way as the passage had come,
+so that when you went round there no one could see you from the door.
+The door was sort of in the middle of the room; but I see I must draw it
+for you, or you will never understand.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+The door that is marked 'Another Door' was full of agitated excitement
+for us, because it wasn't a door at all--at least, not the kind that you
+are used to. It was a gate, like you have at the top of nursery stairs
+in the mansions of the rich and affluent; but instead of being halfway
+up, it went all the way up, so that you could see into the room through
+the bars.
+
+'Somebody must have kept tame lunatics here,' said Dicky.
+
+'Or bears,' said H. O.
+
+'Or enchanceried Princes,' said Noel.
+
+'It seems silly, though,' said Alice, 'because the lunatic or the bear
+or the enchanted Prince could always hide round the corner when he heard
+the keepers coming, if he didn't happen to want to show off just then.'
+
+This was so, and the deep mystery of the way this room was built was
+never untwisted.
+
+'Perhaps a Russian prisoner was kept there,' said Alice, 'and they did
+not want to look too close for fear he would shoot them with his
+bomb-gun. Poor man! perhaps he caught vodka, or some other of those
+awful foreign diseases, and died in his hidden confinement.'
+
+It was a most ripping room for games. The key of it was on the bunch
+labelled 'Mrs. S.'s room.' We often wondered who Mrs. S. was.
+
+'Let's have a regular round of gaieties,' said Oswald. 'Each of us to
+take it in turns to have the room, and act what they like, and the
+others look through the bars.'
+
+So next day we did this.
+
+Oswald, of course, dressed up in bath-towels and a sheet as the ghost of
+Mrs. S., but Noel and H. O. screamed, and would not be calm till he tore
+off the sheet and showed his knickerbockers and braces as a guarantee of
+good faith. Alice put her hair up, and got a skirt, and a large
+handkerchief to cry in, and was a hapless maiden imprisoned in a tower
+because she would not marry the wicked Baron. Oswald instantly took the
+part of the wicked Baron, and Dicky was the virtuous lover of low
+degree, and they had a splendid combat, and Dicky carried off the lady.
+Of course, that was the proper end to the story, and Oswald had to
+pretend to be beaten, which was not the case.
+
+Dicky was Louis XVI. watch-making while waiting for the guillotine to
+happen. So we were the guillotine, and he was executed in the paved
+yard.
+
+Noel was an imprisoned troubadour dressed in bright antimacassars, and
+he fired off quite a lot of poetry at us before we could get the door
+open, which was most unfair.
+
+H. O. was a clown. He had no fancy dress except flour and two Turkish
+towels pinned on to look like trousers, but he put the flour all over
+himself, and it took the rest of the day to clean him.
+
+It was when Alice was drying the hair-brushes that she had washed after
+brushing the flour out of Noel's hair in the back-garden that Oswald
+said:
+
+'_I_ know what that room was made for.'
+
+And everyone said, 'What?' which is not manners, but your brothers and
+sisters do not mind because it saves time.
+
+'Why, _coiners_,' said Oswald. 'Don't you see? They kept a sentinel at
+the door, that _is_ a door, and if anyone approached he whispered
+"_Cave_."'
+
+'But why have iron bars?'
+
+'In extra safety,' said Oswald; 'and if their nefarious fires were not
+burning he need not say "_Cave_" at all. It's no use saying anything for
+nothing.'
+
+It is curious, but the others did not seem to see this clear
+distinguishedness. All people have not the same fine brains.
+
+But all the same the idea rankled in their hearts, and one day father
+came and took Dicky up to London about that tooth of his, and when
+Dicky came back he said:
+
+'Look here, talking of coiners, there was a man in St. Swithin's Lane
+to-day selling little bottles of yellow stuff, and he rubbed some of it
+on a penny, and it turned the penny into a half-crown before your
+eyes--a new half-crown! It was a penny a bottle, so I bought three
+bottles.'
+
+'I always thought the plant for coining was very expensive,' said Alice.
+
+'Ah! they tell you that to keep you from doing it, because of its being
+a crime,' said Dicky. 'But now I've got this stuff we can begin to be
+coiners right away. I believe it isn't really a crime unless you try to
+buy things with the base coin.'
+
+So that very afternoon, directly after dinner, which had a suet pudding
+in it that might have weighed down the enterprising spirit of anyone but
+us, we went over to the Enchanceried House.
+
+We found our good rope ladder among its congealing bed of trusty
+nettles, and got over into the paved yard, and through the kitchen-door.
+Oswald always carried the key of this hung round his neck by a bootlace,
+as if it was a talisman, or the hair of his lost love. Of course, Oswald
+never had a lost love. He would scorn the action. But some heroes do
+have. _De gustibus_ something or other, which means, one man's meat is
+another man's poison.
+
+When we got up into the room with the iron-grated door, it all seemed
+very bare. Three bottles of yellow stuff and tenpence halfpenny in
+coppers is not much to start a coining enterprise with.
+
+'We ought to make it _look_ like coining, anyway,' said Oswald.
+
+'Coiners have furnaces,' said Dicky.
+
+Alice said: 'Wouldn't a spirit-lamp do? Old nurse has got an old one on
+the scullery shelf.'
+
+We thought it would.
+
+Then Noel reminded us that coiners have moulds, and Oswald went and
+bought a pair of wooden lemon squeezers for sevenpence three farthings.
+In his far-sightedness he remembered that coiners use water, so he
+bought two enamelled iron bowls at sixpence halfpenny the two. When he
+came back he noticed the coal-scuttle we had always felt so friendly to,
+and he filled it with water and brought it up. It did not leak worth
+mentioning.
+
+'We ought to have a bench,' said Dicky; 'most trades have
+that--shoemakers and watchmakers, and tailors and lawyers.'
+
+This was difficult, but we did it. There were some planks in the cellar,
+and a tub and a beer-barrel. Unluckily, the tub and the beer-barrel were
+not the same height, but we taught them better by getting old nurse's
+'Pilgrim's Progress' and the _Wesleyan Magazine_, to put on top of the
+tub; and then it was as high as the barrel, and we laid the boards
+across, and there was a bench as beautiful as you could wish.
+
+Dicky was allowed to put the stuff on the coins, because he had bought
+the bottles with his own money. But Alice held them for him to do,
+because girls are inferior beings, except when you are ill, and you must
+be kind to them or you need never hope to be a hero. There are drawbacks
+to every ambition.
+
+She let Noel hold them part of the time.
+
+When she was not helping Dicky, she tried covering pennies with the
+silver paper off chocolate, but it was not the kind of success that
+would take anyone in.
+
+H. O. and Noel took it in turns to be sentinel, but they said it was
+dull, so Oswald took it on. And before he had been there three minutes
+he cried, 'Hist! someone approaches!' and the coining materials were
+hastily concealed and everyone hid round the corner, like we had agreed
+we would do if disturbed in our unlawful pursuits.
+
+Of course, there wasn't anyone really. After this the kids wanted to be
+sentinels again, but Oswald would not let them.
+
+It was a jolly good game. And there was something about that house that
+made whatever you played in it seem awfully real. When I was Mrs. S. I
+felt quite unhappy, and when Dicky was the unfortunate monarch who
+perished in the French Revolution he told me afterwards he didn't half
+like it when it came to the guillotine, though, of course, he knew the
+knife was only the little sliding-door of the chicken-house.
+
+We played coiners for several days, and all learned to give the alarm,
+but we were beginning to feel it was time for something new. Noel was
+saving the hairs out of his comb, and pulling them out of the horsehair
+sofa in the parlour, to make a hair shirt to be a hermit in, and Oswald
+had bought a file to get through the bars and be an escaped Bastille
+prisoner, leaving his life-history concealed in the fireplace, when the
+great event occurred.
+
+We found the silvered money turned to a dirty black when a few hours had
+elapsed, and we tried silver paint and gold paint. Our pockets were
+always full of gold and silver money, and we could jingle it and take it
+out in handfuls and let people see it--not too near.
+
+Then came the great eventful day.
+
+H. O. had fallen into the water-butt that morning. We dried his holland
+smock, but it went stiff like paper, so that old nurse noticed it, and
+thus found out that he was wringing wet underneath. So she put him to
+bed, for fear of his catching his death of cold, and the inveterate gang
+of coiners had to go to their fell lair without him. We left all our
+false money at home, because old nurse had given Alice a piece of
+trimming, for dolls, that was all over little imitation silver coins,
+called sequences, I believe, to imitate the coinage of Turkish regions.
+We reached our Enchanceried House, got in as usual, and started our
+desperate work of changing silver sequences into gold half-sovereigns,
+with gold paint.
+
+Noel was very grumpy: he was odd altogether that day. He was trying to
+write a poem about a Bastille prisoner. He asked to be sentry, so that
+he could think about rhymes.
+
+We had not coined more than about four half-sovereigns when we heard
+Noel say: 'Hist! Hide the plant!'
+
+We didn't take any notice, because we wanted to get enough of them done
+to play a game of misers, which was Alice's idea.
+
+'Hist!' Noel said again. And then suddenly he rushed in and said: 'It's
+a _real_ hist! I tell you there's someone on the stairs.'
+
+And he shut the wooden-grated door, and Oswald, with rare presence of
+mind, caught up the bunch of keys and locked the wooden-grated door with
+the key labelled 'Mrs. S.'s room.'
+
+Then, breathless and furtive, we all hid in the part of the room near
+the fireplace, where no one could see us from the door.
+
+We hardly dared to breathe. Alice said afterwards that she could hear
+Oswald's heart beating with terror, but the author is almost sure that
+it was only his watch ticking. It had begun to go that week, after days
+of unexplained idleness. If we _did_ have to pay for finding the
+Enchanceried House, this was when we paid.
+
+There _were_ feet on the stairs. We all heard them. And voices. The
+author distinctly heard the words 'replete with every modern
+inconvenience,' and 'pleasantly situate ten minutes from tram and
+rail.'
+
+And Oswald, at least, understood that, somehow or other, our house had
+got itself disenchanceried, and that the owner was trying to let it.
+
+We held our breaths till they were nearly choked out of us.
+
+The steps came nearer and nearer. They came along the passage, and
+stopped at the door.
+
+'This is the nursery,' said a manly voice. 'Ah, locked! I quite
+understood from the agent that the keys were in the hall.'
+
+Of course _we_ had the keys, and this was the moment that Noel chose for
+dropping them. Why he was fingering them where they lay on the
+mantelpiece the author does not know, and never will know. There is
+something about 'previously demented' in some Latin chap--Virgil or
+Lucretius--that seems to hit the nail on the head. The keys fell on the
+cracked hearthstone with a clang that Oswald, at any rate, will never
+forget.
+
+There was an awful silence--quite a long one.
+
+Then another voice said:
+
+'There's someone in there.'
+
+'Look at that bench,' said the other man; 'it's coiners' work, that's
+what it is, but there's nobody there. The keys must have _blown_ down!'
+
+The two voices talked some time, but we could not hear all their
+conversation. We were all wondering, as it turned out afterwards, what
+exactly the utmost rigour of the law was. Because, of course, we knew we
+were trespassers of the very deepest dye, even if we could prove that we
+were not real coiners.
+
+'No,' we heard one of them say, 'if we go for the police very likely the
+gang will return and destroy everything. There's no one here now. Let's
+secure the evidence. We can easily break the door down.'
+
+It is a sickening feeling when the evidence against you is going to be
+secured, and you don't know what the punishment for coining is, or
+whether anyone will believe you if you say you were only playing at it.
+
+We exchanged pallid glances.
+
+We could hear the two men shaking the door, and we had no means of
+knowing just how weak it was, never having seriously tampered with it
+ourselves.
+
+It was then that Noel suddenly went quite mad. I think it was due to
+something old nurse had read to us at breakfast that day about a boy of
+eight who played on the fiddle, and composed pieces of music. Affected
+young ass!
+
+He darted from us into the middle of the room, where the two intruders
+could see him, and said:
+
+'Don't break down the door! The villains may return any moment and
+destroy you. Fetch the police!'
+
+The surprised outsiders could find no word but 'Er?'
+
+'You are surprised to see me here,' said Noel, not taking any notice of
+the furious looks of the rest of us. 'I am an infant prodigy. I play the
+violin at concerts; I play it beautifully. They take me to London to
+play in a closed carriage, so that I can't tell anyone my woes on the
+way.'
+
+'My poor child!' said one of the outsiders; 'tell us all about it. We
+must rescue you.'
+
+'Born of poor but honest parents,' said Noel--and this was what nurse
+had read out to us--'my musical talent early manifested itself on a toy
+violin, the gift of a devoted great-aunt. Torn from my home----I say, do
+fetch the police. If the monsters who live on my violin-playing return
+and find you here, they will brain you with the tools of their trade,
+and I shall be lost.'
+
+'Their trade?' said one of them. 'What trade?'
+
+'They are coiners,' said Noel, 'as well as what they do to me to make me
+play.'
+
+'But if we leave you?'
+
+'Oh, they won't hurt _me_,' cried Noel, 'because I have to play to-night
+at Exeter Hall. Fly--fly for the police! They may come up behind you any
+moment and cleave you to the chine.'
+
+And they actually flew. The present author would have known instantly
+that it was rot that about cleaving chines, but the man who wanted to
+let the Disenchanteried House and the man who wanted to have it let to
+him were of other mettle.
+
+We had remained perfectly still and silent. Of course, if the outsiders
+had attacked Noel, his brothers would have rushed to his rescue.
+
+As soon as the retreating boots of the outsiders grew fainter on the
+stairs, Noel turned green, and had to be revived by splashings from the
+brotherly coal-scuttle full of water. He got better directly, and we all
+scooted home to old nurse's, leaving our coining plant without a pang.
+All great generals say that a retreat is best conducted without
+impediments.
+
+Noel was so ill he had to go to bed and stay there. This was as well,
+because of the neighbourhood being scoured for the ill-used infant
+prodigy that had been imprisoned in the Enchanceried House. He got all
+right again in time to go home when father came up for us. While he was
+in bed he wrote a long poem in six different coloured chalks, called
+'The Enchanceried Coiners, or the Liar's Remorse.' So I know he was
+sorry for what he had done. He told me he could not think what made him,
+and of course it was very wrong, but it did save our bacon, and preserve
+us from the noisome cells and bread and water that I am sure are the
+real meaning of the 'utmost rigour of the law.'
+
+Really the worst of it all was that while we were trembling in the
+coiners' den, with the two outside gentlemen snorting and whispering on
+the other side of the gate-door, H. O. had got up out of his bed at home
+and answered the door. (Old nurse had gone out to get a lettuce and an
+aerated loaf for tea.) He answered it to a butcher's bill for fifteen
+and sevenpence that the butcher's little girl had brought, and he paid
+it with six of the pennies that we had disguised as half-crowns, and
+told the little girl to call for the sevenpence in the morning. I
+believe many people have been hanged for less. It was lucky for H. O.
+that old nurse was a friend of the butcher's, and able to persuade him
+that it was only a joke. In sterner times, like the French Revolution
+... but Alice does not like to think what would have happened then. As
+this is the twentieth century, and not the eighteenth, our all going
+down to the butcher and saying we were sorry made it all right. But
+suppose it had been in other dates!
+
+The butcher's wife gave us cake and ginger wine, and was very jolly. She
+asked us where we had got the false half-crowns. Oswald said they had
+been given us. This was true, but when they were given us they were
+pennies.
+
+Did Oswald tell a lie to the butcher? He has often wondered. He hopes
+not. It is easy to know whether a thing is a lie or not when nothing
+depends on it. But when events are happening, and the utmost rigour of
+the law may be the result of your making a mistake, you have to tell the
+truth as carefully as you can.
+
+No English gentleman tells a lie--Oswald knows that, of course. But an
+Englishman is not obliged to criminalate himself. The rules of honour
+and the laws of your country are very puzzling and contradictory.
+
+But the butcher got paid afterwards in real money--a half-sovereign and
+two half-crowns, and seven unsilvered pennies. So nobody was injured,
+and the author thinks that is the great thing after all.
+
+All the same, if ever he goes to stay with old nurse again, he thinks he
+will tell the butcher. All in confidence. He does not like to have any
+doubts about such a serious thing as the honour of a Bastable.
+
+THE END OF OSWALD'S PART OF THE BOOK.
+
+
+
+OTHERS
+
+[Illustration: 'A little person in a large white cap.'--Page 257]
+
+
+
+
+MOLLY, THE MEASLES, AND THE MISSING WILL
+
+
+We all think a great deal too much of ourselves. We all believe--every
+man, woman, and child of us--in our very insidest inside heart, that no
+one else in the world is at all like us, and that things happen to us
+that happen to no one else. Now, this is a great mistake, because
+however different we may be in the colour of our hair and eyes, the
+inside part, the part that we feel and suffer with, is pretty much alike
+in all of us. But no one seems to know this except me. That is why
+people won't tell you the really wonderful things that happen to them:
+they think you are so different that you could never believe the
+wonderful things. But of course you are not different really, and you
+can believe wonderful things as easily as anybody else. For instance,
+you will be able to believe this story quite easily, for though it
+didn't happen to you, that was merely an accident. It might have
+happened, quite easily, to you or any else. As it happened, it happened
+to Maria Toodlethwaite Carruthers.
+
+You will already have felt a little sorry for Maria, and you will have
+thought that I might have chosen a prettier name for her. And so I
+might. But I did not do the choosing. Her parents did that. And they
+called her Maria after an aunt who was disagreeable, and would have been
+more disagreeable than ever if the baby had been called Enid or Elaine
+or Vivien, or any of the pretty names that will readily occur to you.
+She was called Toodlethwaite after the eminent uncle of that name who
+had an office in London and an office in Liverpool, and was said to be
+rolling in money.
+
+'I _should_ like to see Uncle Toodlethwaite rolling in his money,' said
+Maria, 'but he never does it when I'm about.'
+
+The third name, Carruthers, was Maria's father's name, and she often
+felt thankful that it was no worse. It might so easily have been Snooks
+or Prosser.
+
+Of course no one called Maria Maria except Aunt Maria herself. Her Aunt
+Eliza, who was very refined, always wrote in the improving books that
+she gave Maria on her birthday, 'To dearest Marie, from her affectionate
+Aunt Elise,' and when she spoke to her she called her Mawrie. Her
+brothers and sisters, whenever they wanted to be aggravating, called her
+Toodles, but at times of common friendliness they called her Molly, and
+so did most other people, and so shall I, and so may you.
+
+Molly and her brothers and sisters were taken care of by a young woman
+who was called a nursery-governess. I don't know why, for she did not
+nurse them, and she certainly did not govern them. In her last situation
+she had been called a lady-help--I don't know the why of that, either.
+Her name was Simpshall, and she was always saying 'Don't,' and 'You
+mustn't do that,' and 'Put that down directly,' and 'I shall tell your
+mamma if you don't leave off.' She never seemed to know what you ought
+to do, but only what you oughtn't.
+
+One day the children had a grand battle with all the toy soldiers, and
+the little brass cannons that shoot peas, and the other kind that shoot
+pink caps with '_Fortes Amorces_' on the box.
+
+Bertie, who always liked to have everything as real as possible, did
+not like the soldiers to be standing on the bare polished mahogany of
+the dining-table.
+
+'It's not a bit like the field of glory,' he said. And indeed it was
+not.
+
+So he borrowed the large kitchen knife-box and went out, and brought it
+in full of nice real clean mould out of the garden. Half a dozen
+knife-box-fulls were needed to cover the table. Then the children made
+forts and ditches, and brought in sprigs of geranium and calceolaria and
+box and yew and made trees and ambushes and hedges. It was a lovely
+battlefield, and would have melted the heart of anyone but a
+nursery-governess.
+
+But she just said, 'What a disgusting mess! How naughty you are!' and
+fetched a brush and swept the field of glory away into the dustpan.
+There was only just time to save the lives of the soldiers.
+
+And then Cecily put the knife-box back without saying what it had been
+used for, and the knives were put into it, so that at dinner everything
+tasted of earth, and the grit got between people's teeth, so that they
+could not eat their mutton or potatoes or cabbage, or even their gravy.
+
+This, of course, was entirely Miss Simpshall's fault. If she had not
+behaved as she did Bertie or Eva would have remembered to clean out the
+knife-box. As it was, the story of the field of glory came out over the
+gritty mutton and things, and father sent all the battlefield-makers to
+bed.
+
+Molly was out of this. She was staying with Aunt Eliza, who was kind, if
+refined. She was to come back the next day. But as mother was on her way
+to the station to meet Aunt Maria for a day's shopping, she met a
+telegraph boy, who gave her a telegram from Aunt Eliza saying:
+
+ 'Am going to Palace to-day instead of to-morrow. Fetch
+ Marie.--ELISE.'
+
+So mother fetched her from Aunt Eliza's flat in Kensington and took her
+shopping with Aunt Maria. There were hours of shopping in hot, stuffy
+shops full of tired shop-people and angry ladies, and even the new hat
+and jacket and the strawberry ice at the pastrycook's in Oxford Street
+did not make up to Molly for that tiresome day.
+
+Still, she was out of the battlefield row. Only as she did not know that
+it could not comfort her.
+
+When Aunt Maria had been put into her train, mother and Molly went home.
+As their cab stopped, Miss Simpshall rushed out between the two dusty
+laburnums by the gate.
+
+'Don't come in!' said Miss Simpshall wildly.
+
+'My dear Miss Simpshall----' said mother.
+
+The hair of the nursery-governess waved wildly in the evening breeze.
+She shut the ornamental iron gate in mother's face.
+
+'Don't come in!' said Miss Simpshall again. 'You shan't, you
+mustn't----'
+
+'Don't talk nonsense,' said mother, looking very white. 'Have you gone
+mad?'
+
+Miss Simpshall said she hadn't.
+
+'But what's the matter?' said mother.
+
+'Measles,' said Miss Simpshall; 'it's all out on them--thick.'
+
+'Good gracious!' said mother.
+
+'And I thought you'd perhaps just as soon Molly didn't have it, Mrs.
+Carruthers. And this is all the thanks I get, being told I'm insane.'
+
+'I'm sorry,' said mother absently. 'Yes, you were quite right. Keep the
+children warm. Has the doctor seen them?'
+
+'Not yet; I've only just found it out. Oh, it's terrible! Their hands
+and faces are all scarlet with purple spots.'
+
+'Oh dear, oh dear! I hope it's nothing worse than measles! I'll call in
+and send the doctor,' said mother; 'I shall be home by the last train.
+It's a blessing Molly's clothes are all here in her box.'
+
+So Molly was whisked off in the cab.
+
+'I must take you back to your aunt's,' said mother.
+
+'But Aunt Eliza's gone to stay at the Bishop's Palace,' said Molly.
+
+'So she has; we must go to your Aunt Maria's. Oh dear!'
+
+'Never mind, mother,' said Molly, slipping her hand into mother's;
+'perhaps they won't have it very badly. And I'll be very good, and try
+not to have it at all.'
+
+This was very brave of Molly; she would much rather have had measles
+than have gone to stay at Aunt Maria's.
+
+Aunt Maria lived in a lovely old house down in Kent. It had beautiful
+furniture and beautiful gardens; in fact, as Bertie said, it was a place
+
+ 'Where every prospect pleases,
+ And only aunt is vile.'
+
+Molly and her mother arrived there just at supper-time. Aunt Maria was
+very surprised and displeased. Molly went to bed at once, and her
+supper was brought up on a tray by Clements, aunt's own maid. It was
+cold lamb and mint-sauce, and jelly and custard.
+
+'Your aunt said to bring you biscuits and milk,' said Clements, 'but I
+thought you'd like this better.'
+
+'You're a darling!' said Molly; 'I was so afraid you'd be gone for your
+holiday. It's not nearly so beastly when you're here.'
+
+Clements was flattered, and returned the compliment.
+
+'And you aren't so bad when you're good, miss,' she said. 'Eat it up.
+I'll come back and bring you a night-light by-and-by.'
+
+One thing Molly liked about Aunt Maria's was that there were no
+children's bedrooms--no bare rooms with painted furniture and Dutch
+drugget. All the rooms were 'best rooms', with soft carpets
+and splendid old furniture. The beds were all four-posters with carved
+pillars and silk damask curtains, and there were sure to be the
+loveliest things to make believe with in whatever room you happened to
+be put into. In this room there were cases of stuffed birds, and a
+stuffed pike that was just like life. There was a wonderful old
+cabinet, black and red and gold, very mysterious, and oak chests, and
+two fat white Indian idols sitting cross-legged on the mantelpiece. It
+was very delightful; but Molly liked it best in the daytime. And she was
+glad of the night-light.
+
+She thought of Bertie, and Cicely, and Eva, and baby, and Vincent, and
+wondered whether measles hurt much.
+
+Next day Aunt Maria was quite bearable. The worst thing she said was
+about people coming when they weren't expected, and upsetting
+everything.
+
+'I'll try not to upset anything,' said Molly, and went out and got the
+gardener to put up a swing for her.
+
+Then she upset herself out of it, and got a bump on her forehead the
+size of a hen's egg, and that, as Aunt Maria very properly said, kept
+her out of mischief for the rest of the day.
+
+Next morning Molly had two letters. The first was from Bertie. It said:
+
+ 'DEAR MOLLY,
+
+ 'It is rough lines on you, but we did not mean to keep it up, and
+ it is your fault for coming home the day before you ought to have.
+ We did it to kid old Simpshall, because she was so beastly about us
+ making a real battlefield. We only painted all the parts of us that
+ show with vermilion, and put spots--mixed crimson lake and Prussian
+ blue--all over, and we pulled down the blinds and said our heads
+ ached, and so they did with crying--I mean the girls cried. She was
+ afraid to come near us; but she was sorry she had been such a
+ beast. And when she had come to the door and said so through the
+ keyhole we owned up, but you had gone by then. It was a rare
+ lark, but we've got three days bedder for it. I shall lower this on
+ the end of a fishingline to the baker's boy, and he will post it.
+ It is like a dungeon. He is going to bring us tarts, like a
+ faithful page.
+
+ 'Your affectionate bro.,
+ 'BERTRAND DE LISLE CARRUTHERS.'
+
+
+
+The other letter was from mother.
+
+ 'MY DARLING MOLLY,
+
+ It was all a naughty hoax, intended to annoy poor Miss Simpshall.
+ Your brothers and sisters had painted their faces red and
+ purple--they had not measles at all. But since you _are_ at Aunt
+ Maria's I think you may as well stay ...'
+
+'How awful!' said Molly. 'It _is_ too bad!'
+
+ '... stay and make it your annual visit. Be a good girl, dear, and
+ do not forget to wear your pinafores in the morning.
+
+ 'Your loving MOTHER.'
+
+
+
+Molly wrote a nice little letter to her mother. To her brother she said:
+
+ DEAR BERTIE,
+
+ I think you are beasts to have let me in for this. You might have
+ thought of me. I shall not forgive you till the sun is just going
+ down, and I would not then, only it is so wrong not to. I wish
+ _you_ had been named Maria, and had to stay here instead of me.
+
+ 'Your broken-hearted sister,
+
+ 'MOLLY CARRUTHERS.'
+
+
+
+When Molly stayed at the White House she was accustomed to read aloud in
+the mornings from 'Ministering Children' or 'Little Pilgrims,' while
+Aunt Maria sewed severely. But that morning Aunt Maria did not send for
+her.
+
+'Your aunt's not well,' Clements told her; 'she won't be down before
+lunch. Run along, do, miss, and walk in the garden like a young lady.'
+
+Molly chose rather to swagger out into the stableyard like a young
+gentleman. The groom was saddling the sorrel horse.
+
+'I've got to take a telegram to the station,' said he.
+
+'Take me,' said Molly.
+
+'Likely! And what ud your aunt say?'
+
+'She won't know,' said Molly, 'and if she does I'll say I made you.'
+
+He laughed, and Molly had a splendid ride behind the groom, with her
+arms so tight round his waistcoat that he could hardly breathe.
+
+When they got to the station a porter lifted her down, and the groom let
+her send off the telegram. It was to Uncle Toodlethwaite, and it said:
+
+ 'Please come down at once urgent business most important don't fail
+ bring Bates.--MARIA CARRUTHERS.'
+
+So Molly knew something very out of the way had happened, and she was
+glad that her aunt should have something to think of besides her,
+because the White House would have been a very nice place to stay at if
+Aunt Maria had not so often remembered to do her duty by you.
+
+[Illustration: 'Molly had a splendid ride behind the groom.'--Page 134]
+
+In the afternoon Uncle Toodlethwaite came, and he and Aunt Maria and a
+person in black with a shining black bag--Molly supposed he was Mr.
+Bates, who was to be brought by Uncle Toodlethwaite--sat in the
+dining-room with the door shut.
+
+Molly went to help the kitchenmaid shell peas, in the little grass
+courtyard in the middle of the house. They sat on the kitchen steps, and
+Molly could hear the voices of Clements and the housekeeper through the
+open window of the servants' hall. She heard, but she did not think it
+was eavesdropping, or anything dishonourable, like listening at doors.
+They were talking quite out loud.
+
+'And a dreadful blow it will be to us all, if true,' the housekeeper was
+saying.
+
+'_She_ thinks it's true,' said Clements; 'cried her eyes out, she did,
+and wired for her brother-in-law once removed.'
+
+'Meaning her brother's brother-in-law--I see. But I don't know as I
+really understand the ins and outs of it even yet.'
+
+'Well, it's like this,' said Clements: 'missis an' her brother they used
+to live here along of their uncle, and he had a son, a regular bad egg
+he was, and the old master said he shouldn't ever have a penny of his
+money. He said he'd leave it to Mr. Carruthers--that's missis's brother,
+see?'
+
+'That means father,' thought Molly.
+
+'And he'd leave missis the house and enough money to keep it up in
+style. He was a warm man, it seems. Well, then the son's drowned at
+sea--ship went down and all aboard perished. Just as well, because when
+the old man died they couldn't find no will. So it all comes to missis
+and her brother, there being no other relations near or far, and they
+divides it the same as the old man had always said he wished. You see
+what I mean?'
+
+'Near enough,' said the housekeeper; 'and then?'
+
+'Why, then,' said Clements, 'comes this letter--this very morning--from
+a lawyer, to say as this bad egg of a son wasn't drowned at all: he was
+in foreign parts, and only now heard of his father's decease, and tends
+without delay to claim the property, which all comes to him, the
+deceased have died insensate--that means without a will.'
+
+'I say, Clements,' Molly sung out, 'you must have read the letter. Did
+aunt show it to you?'
+
+There was a dead silence; the kitchenmaid giggled. Someone whispered
+inside the room. Then the housekeeper's voice called softly, 'Come in
+here a minute, miss,' and the window was sharply shut.
+
+Molly emptied the peascods out of her pinafore and went in.
+
+Directly she was inside the door Clements caught her by the arm and
+shook her.
+
+'You nasty mean, prying little cat!' she said; 'and me getting you jelly
+and custard, and I don't know what all.'
+
+'I'm not,' said Molly. 'Don't, Clements; you hurt.'
+
+'You deserve me to,' was the reply. 'Doesn't she, Mrs. Williams?'
+
+'Don't you know it's wrong to listen, miss?' asked Mrs. Williams.
+
+'I didn't listen,' said Molly indignantly. 'You were simply shouting. No
+one could help hearing. Me and Jane would have had to put our fingers in
+our ears _not_ to hear.'
+
+'I didn't think it of you,' said Clements, beginning to sniff.
+
+'I don't know what you're making all this fuss about,' said Molly; 'I'm
+not a sneak.'
+
+'Have a piece of cake, miss,' said Mrs. Williams, 'and give me your word
+it shan't go any further.'
+
+'I don't want your cake; you'd better give it to Clements. It's she that
+tells things--not me.'
+
+Molly began to cry.
+
+'There, I declare, miss, I'm sorry I shook you, but I was that put out.
+There! I ask your pardon; I can't do more. You wouldn't get poor
+Clements into trouble, I'm sure.'
+
+'Of course I wouldn't; you might have known that.'
+
+Well, peace was restored; but Molly wouldn't have any cake.
+
+That evening Jane wore a new silver brooch, shaped like a horseshoe,
+with an arrow through it.
+
+It was after tea, when Uncle Toodlethwaite was gone, that Molly,
+creeping quietly out to see the pigs fed, came upon her aunt at the end
+of the hollyhock walk. Her aunt was sitting on the rustic seat that the
+crimson rambler rose makes an arbour over. Her handkerchief was held to
+her face with both hands, and her thin shoulders were shaking with
+sobs.
+
+And at once Molly forgot how disagreeable Aunt Maria had always been,
+and how she hated her. She ran to her aunt and threw her arms round her
+neck. Aunt Maria jumped in her seat, but she let the arms stay where
+they were, though they made it quite difficult for her to use her
+handkerchief.
+
+'Don't cry, dear ducky _darling_ Aunt Maria,' said Molly--'oh, don't!
+What _is_ the matter?'
+
+'Nothing you would understand,' said Aunt Maria gruffly; 'run away and
+play, there's a good child.'
+
+'But I don't want to play while you're crying. I'm sure I could
+understand, dear little auntie.'
+
+Molly embraced the tall, gaunt figure of the aunt.
+
+'Dear little auntie, tell Molly.'
+
+She used just the tone she was used to use to her baby brother.
+
+'It's--it's business,' said Aunt Maria, sniffing.
+
+'I know business is dreadfully bad--father says so,' said Molly. 'Don't
+send me away, auntie; I'll be as quiet as a mouse. I'll just sit and
+cuddle you till you feel better.'
+
+She got her arms round the aunt's waist, and snuggled her head against a
+thin arm. Aunt Maria had always been one for keeping children in their
+proper places. Yet somehow now Molly's proper place seemed to be just
+where she was--where she had never been before.
+
+'You're a kind little girl, Maria,' she said presently.
+
+'I wish I could do something,' said Molly. 'Wouldn't you feel better if
+you told me? They say it does you good not to grieve in solitary
+concealment. I'm sure I could understand if you didn't use long words.'
+
+And, curiously enough, Aunt Maria did tell her, almost exactly what she
+had heard from Clements.
+
+'And I know there was a will leaving it all to your father and me,' she
+said; 'I saw it signed. It was witnessed by the butler we had then--he
+died the year after--and by Mr. Sheldon: he died, too, out hunting.'
+
+Her voice softened, and Molly snuggled closer and said:
+
+'Poor Mr. Sheldon!'
+
+'He and I were to have been married,' said Aunt Maria suddenly. 'That's
+his picture in the hall between the carp and your Great-uncle
+Carruthers.'
+
+'Poor auntie!' said Molly, thinking of the handsome man in scarlet next
+the stuffed carp--'oh, poor auntie, I do love you so!'
+
+Aunt Maria put an arm round her.
+
+'Oh, my dear,' she said, 'you don't understand. All the happy things
+that ever happened to me happened here, and all the sad things too; if
+they turn me out I shall die--I know I shall. It's been bad enough,' she
+went on, more to herself than to Molly; 'but there's always been the
+place just as it was when I was a girl, when he used to come here: so
+bold and laughing he always was. I can see him here quite plainly; I've
+only to shut my eyes. But I couldn't see him anywhere else.'
+
+'Don't wills get hidden away sometimes?' Molly asked; for she had read
+stories about such things.
+
+'We looked everywhere,' said Aunt Maria--'everywhere. We had detectives
+from London, because there were things he'd left to other people, and we
+wanted to carry out his wishes; but we couldn't find it. Uncle must have
+destroyed it, and meant to make another, only he never did--he never
+did. Oh, I hope the dead can't see what we suffer! If my Uncle
+Carruthers and dear James could see me turned out of the old place, it
+would break their hearts even up in heaven.'
+
+Molly was silent. Suddenly her aunt seemed to awake from a dream.
+
+'Good gracious, child,' she said, 'what nonsense I've been talking! Go
+away and play, and forget all about it. Your own troubles will begin
+soon enough.'
+
+'I do love you, auntie,' said Molly, and went.
+
+Aunt Maria never unbent again as she had done that evening; but Molly
+felt a difference that made all the difference. She was not afraid of
+her aunt now, and she loved her. Besides, things were happening. The
+White House was now the most interesting place in the world.
+
+Be sure that Molly set to work at once to look for the missing will.
+London detectives were very careless; she was certain they were. She
+opened drawers and felt in the backs of cupboards; she prodded the
+padding of chairs, listening for the crackling of paper inside among the
+stuffing; she tapped the woodwork of the house all over for secret
+panels; but she did not find the will.
+
+She could not believe that her Great-uncle Carruthers would have been so
+silly as to burn a will that he knew might be wanted at any moment. She
+used to stand in front of his portrait, and look at it; he did not look
+at all silly. And she used to look at the portrait of handsome, laughing
+Mr. Sheldon, who had been killed out hunting instead of marrying Aunt
+Maria, and more than once she said:
+
+'You might tell me where it is; you look as if you knew.'
+
+But he never altered his jolly smile.
+
+Molly thought of missing wills from the moment her eyes opened in the
+morning to the time when they closed at night.
+
+Then came the dreadful day when Uncle Toodlethwaite and Mr. Bates came
+down, and Uncle Toodlethwaite said:
+
+'I'm afraid there's no help for it, Maria; you can delay the thing a
+bit, but you'll have to turn out in the end.'
+
+It was on that night that the wonderful thing happened--the thing that
+Molly has never told to anyone except me, because she thought no one
+could believe it. She went to bed as usual and to sleep, and she woke
+suddenly, hearing someone call 'Molly, Molly!'
+
+She sat up in bed; the room was full of moonlight. As usual her first
+waking thought was of the missing will. Had it been found? Was her aunt
+calling her to tell the good news? No, the room was quite still. She was
+alone.
+
+The moonlight fell full on the old black and red and gold cabinet; that,
+she had often thought, was just the place where a will would be hidden.
+It might have a secret drawer, that the London detectives had missed.
+She had often looked over it carefully, but now she got out of bed and
+lighted her candle, and went over to the cabinet to have one more look.
+She opened all the drawers, pressed all the knobs in the carved
+brasswork. There was a little door in the middle; she knew that the
+little cupboard behind it was empty. It had red lacquered walls, and the
+back wall was looking-glass. She opened the little cupboard, held up her
+candle, and looked in. She expected to see her own face in the glass as
+usual, but she did not see it; instead there was a black space, the
+opening to something not quite black. She could see
+lights--candle-lights--and the space grew bigger, or she grew smaller,
+she never knew which. And next moment she was walking through the
+opening.
+
+'Now I am going to see something really worth seeing,' said Molly.
+
+She was not frightened--from first to last she was not at all
+frightened.
+
+She walked straight through the back of the cabinet in the best bedroom
+upstairs into the library on the ground-floor. That sounds like
+nonsense, but Molly declares it was so.
+
+There were candles on the table and papers, and there were people in the
+library; they did not see her.
+
+There was great-uncle Carruthers and Aunt Maria, very pretty, with long
+curls and a striped gray silk dress, like in the picture in the
+drawing-room. There was handsome, jolly Mr. Sheldon in a brown coat. An
+old servant was just going out of the door.
+
+'That's settled, then,' said Great-uncle Carruthers; 'now, my girl,
+bed.'
+
+Aunt Maria--such a young, pretty Aunt Maria, Molly would never have
+known her but for the portrait--kissed her uncle, and then she took a
+Christmas rose out of her dress and put it in Mr. Sheldon's buttonhole,
+and put up her face to him and said, 'Good-night, James.' He kissed her;
+Molly heard the loud, jolly sound of the kiss, and Aunt Maria went away.
+
+Then the old man said: 'You'll leave this at Bates' for me, Sheldon;
+you're safer than the post.'
+
+Handsome Mr. Sheldon said he would. Then the lights went out, and Molly
+was in bed again.
+
+Quite suddenly it was daylight. Jolly Mr. Sheldon, in his red coat, was
+standing by the cabinet. The little cupboard door was open.
+
+'By George!' he said, 'it's ten days since I promised to take that will
+up to Bates, and I never gave it another thought. All your fault, Maria,
+my dear. You shouldn't take up all my thoughts; 'I'll take it
+to-morrow.'
+
+Molly heard something click, and he went out of the room whistling.
+
+Molly lay still. She felt there was more to come. And the next thing was
+that she was looking out of the window, and saw something carried across
+the lawn on a hurdle with two scarlet coats laid over it, and she knew
+it was handsome Mr. Sheldon, and that he would not carry the will to
+Bates to-morrow, or do anything else in this world ever any more.
+
+When Molly woke in the morning she sprang out of bed and ran to the
+cabinet. There was nothing in the looking-glass cupboard.
+
+All the same, she ran straight to her aunt's room. It was long before
+the hour when Clements soberly tapped, bringing hot water.
+
+'Wake up, auntie!' she cried.
+
+And auntie woke up, very cross indeed.
+
+'Look here, auntie,' she said, 'I'm certain there's a secret place in
+that cabinet in my room, and the will's in it; I know it is.'
+
+'You've been dreaming,' said Aunt Maria severely; 'go back to bed.
+You'll catch your death of cold paddling about barefoot like that.'
+
+Molly had to go, but after breakfast she began again.
+
+'But why do you think so?' asked Aunt Maria.
+
+And Molly, who thought she knew that nobody would believe her story,
+could only say:
+
+'I don't know, but I am quite sure.'
+
+'Nonsense!' said Aunt Maria.
+
+'Aunty,' Molly said, 'don't you think uncle might have given the will to
+Mr. Sheldon to take to Mr. Bates, and he may have put it in the secret
+place and forgotten?'
+
+'What a head the child's got--full of fancies!' said Aunt Maria.
+
+'If he slept in that room--did he ever sleep in that room?'
+
+'Always, whenever he stayed here.'
+
+'Was it long after the will-signing that poor Mr. Sheldon died?'
+
+'Ten days,' said Aunt Maria shortly; 'run away and play. I've letters to
+write.'
+
+But because it seemed good to leave no stone unturned, one of those
+letters was to a cabinet-maker in Rochester, and the groom took it in
+the dog-cart, and the cabinet-maker came back with him.
+
+And there _was_ a secret hiding-place behind the looking-glass in the
+little red lacquered cupboard in the old black and red and gold cabinet,
+and in that secret hiding-place was the missing will, and on it lay a
+brown flower that dropped to dust when it was moved.
+
+'It's a Christmas rose,' said Molly.
+
+ * * * * *
+
+'So, you see, really it was a very good thing the others pretended to
+have measles, because if they hadn't I shouldn't have come to you, and
+if I hadn't come I shouldn't have known there was a will missing, and if
+I hadn't known that I shouldn't have found it, should I, aunty, should
+I, uncle?' said Molly, wild with delight.
+
+'No, dear,' said Aunt Maria, patting her hand.
+
+'Little girls,' said Uncle Toodlethwaite, 'should be seen and not heard.
+But I admit that simulated measles may sometimes be a blessing in
+disguise.'
+
+All the young Carruthers thought so when they got the five pounds that
+Aunt Maria sent them. Miss Simpshall got five pounds too because it was
+owing to her that Molly was taken to the White House that day. Molly got
+a little pearl necklace as well as five pounds.
+
+'Mr. Sheldon gave it to me,' said Aunt Maria. 'I wouldn't give it to
+anyone but you.'
+
+Molly hugged her in silent rapture.
+
+That just shows how different our Aunt Marias would prove to be if they
+would only let us know them as they really are. It really is not wise to
+conceal _everything_ from children.
+
+You see, if Aunt Maria had not told Molly about Mr. Sheldon, she would
+never have thought about him enough to see his ghost. Now Molly is grown
+up she tells me it was only a dream. But even if it was it is just as
+wonderful, and served the purpose just as well.
+
+Perhaps you would like to know what Aunt Maria said when the
+cabinet-maker opened the secret hiding-place and she saw the paper with
+the brown Christmas rose on it? Clements was there, as well as the
+cabinet-maker and Molly. She said right out before them all, 'Oh, James,
+my dear!' and she picked up the flower before she opened the will. And
+it fell into brown dust in her hand.
+
+
+
+
+BILLY AND WILLIAM
+
+A HISTORICAL TALE FOR THE YOUNG
+
+ '_Have you found your prize essay?_'
+ '_No; but I have found the bicycle of the butcher's boy._'
+
+
+It is rather trying to have to walk three miles to the station, to say
+nothing of the three miles back, to meet a cousin you have never seen
+and never wish to see, especially if you have to leave a kite half made,
+and there is no proper lock to the shed you are making your kite in.
+
+The road was flat and dusty, the sun felt much too warm on his back, the
+hill to the station was long and steep, and the train was nearly an hour
+late, because it was a train on the South-Eastern Railway. So William
+was exceedingly cross, and he would have been crosser still if he could
+have known that I should ever call him William, for though that happened
+to be his name, the one he 'answered to' (as the stolen-dog
+advertisements say) was 'Billy.' So perhaps it would be kind of me to
+speak of him as Billy, because it is rather horrid to do things you know
+people won't like, even if you think they'll never know you've done
+them.
+
+Well, the train came in, and it was annoying to Billy, very, that four
+or five boys should bundle out of the train, and he should have to go up
+to them one after the other and say:
+
+'I say, is your name Harold St. Leger?'
+
+He did not particularly like the look of any of the boys, and of course
+it happened that the very last one he spoke to was Harold, and that he
+was also the one whom Billy liked least particularly of the whole lot.
+
+'Oh, you are, are you?' was all he could find to say when Harold had
+blushingly owned to his name. Then in manly tones Billy gave the order
+about Harold's luggage and the carrier, said 'Come along!' and Harold
+came.
+
+Harold was a fattish boy with whitey-brown hair, and he was as soft and
+white as a silkworm. Billy did not admire him. He himself was hard and
+brown, with thin arms and legs and joints like the lumps of clay on
+branches that the gardener has grafted. And Harold did not admire _him_.
+
+There was little conversation on the way home; when you don't want to
+have a visitor and he doesn't want to be one, talking is not much fun.
+When they got home there was tea. Billy's mother talked politely to
+Harold, but that did not make anyone any happier. Then Billy took his
+cousin round and showed him the farm and the stock, and Harold was less
+interested than you would think a boy could be. At last, weary of trying
+to behave nicely, Billy said:
+
+'I suppose there must be _something_ you like, however much of a muff
+you are. Well, you can jolly well find it out for yourself. I'm going to
+finish my kite.'
+
+The silkworm-soft face of Harold lighted up.
+
+'Oh, _I_ can make kites,' he said; 'I've invented a new kind. I'll help
+you if you'll let me.'
+
+Harold, eager, quick fingered, skilful, in the shed among the string,
+and the glue, and the paper, and the bendable, breakable laths, was
+quite a different person from Harold, nervous and dull, among the
+farmyard beasts. Billy allowed him to help with the kite, and he began
+to respect his cousin a little more.
+
+'Though it's rather like a girl, being so neat with your fingers,' he
+said disparagingly.
+
+'I wish I'd got the proper sort of paper,' Harold said, 'then I'd make
+my new patent kite that I've invented; but it's a very extra sort of
+kind of paper. I got some once at a butter-shop in Bermondsey, but that
+was in a dream.'
+
+Billy stared.
+
+'You must be off your chump,' he said; and he felt more sorry than ever
+that his jolly country holiday was to be spoiled by a strange cousin,
+who ought, perhaps, to be in a lunatic asylum rather than at a
+respectable farm.
+
+That night Billy was awakened from the dreamless sleep which blesses the
+sort of boy he was to find Harold excitedly thumping him on the back
+with a roll of stiff paper.
+
+'Wake up,' he said--'wake up! I _will_ tell somebody that's awake. I
+dreamed that a jackdaw came in and flew off with that thin paper thing
+that was on the chest of drawers with the gilt button at the corner, and
+then I dreamed I got up and found this roll of paper up the chimney. And
+when I woke up I found _it_ had and _I_ had, and it's the real right
+kite-paper for my patent kite--just like I dreamed I bought in the
+butter-shop in Bermondsey. And it's five o'clock by the church clock,
+and it's quite light. I'm going to get up directly minute and make my
+patent kite.'
+
+'Patent fiddlestick!' replied Billy, sleepy and indignant. 'You get
+along and leave me be; you've been dreaming, that's all. Just like a
+girl!'
+
+'Yes,' repeated Harold gently, 'I _have_ been dreaming; but when I woke
+up I found _it_ had and _I_ had; and here's the paper, and the flimsy
+thing with the gold stud's _gone_. You get up and see----'
+
+Billy did. He got up with a bound, and he saw with an eye. And William
+turned on Harold and shook him till his teeth nearly rattled in his head
+and his pale eyes nearly dropped out. (I have called him William here
+because I really think he deserves it. It is a cowardly thing to shake a
+cousin, even if you do not happen to be pleased with him.)
+
+'Wha--wha--what's the matter?' choked the wretched Harold.
+
+'Why, you miserable little idiot, you've _not_ been dreaming at all!
+You've been lying like a silly log, and letting that beastly bird carry
+off my prize essay! That's _all_! And it took me ten days to do, and I
+had to get almost all of it out of books, and the worse swat I ever did
+in my life. And now it's all no good. And there aren't any books down
+here to do it again out of. Oh, bother, _bother_, BOTHER!'
+
+'I'm very sorry for you,' said Harold, 'but I didn't lie like logs--I
+did dream--and I've got the kite-paper, and I'll help you write the
+essay again if you like.'
+
+'I shouldn't be surprised if it was all a make-up,' said William. (I
+_must_ go on calling him William at present.) 'You've hidden the essay
+so as to be able to send it in yourself.'
+
+'Oh, how _can_ you?' said Harold; and he turned pale just like a girl,
+and just like a girl he began to cry.
+
+'Now, look here,' the enraged William went on, 'I've got to be civil to
+you before people; but don't you dare to speak to me when we're alone.
+You're either a silly idiot or a sneaking hound, and either way I'm not
+going to have anything to do with you.'
+
+I don't know how he could have done it, but William kept his word, and
+for three days he only spoke to Harold when other people were about.
+This was horrible for Harold; he had been used to being his father's
+pride and his mother's joy, and now he was Nobody's Anything, which is
+the saddest thing in the world to be. He tried to console himself by
+making kites all day long, but even kites cannot comfort you when nobody
+loves you, and when you feel that it really is not your fault at all.
+
+William went about his own affairs; he was not at all happy. He finished
+his kite and flew it, and he lost it because the string caught on the
+church weather-cock, which cut it in two. And he tried to rewrite his
+prize essay, but he couldn't, because he had taken all the stuffing for
+it out of books and not out of his head, where it ought to have been.
+
+Harold found some moments of forgetfulness when he was making the patent
+kite. It was very big, and the roll of paper he had found in his dream
+in the chimney was exactly the right thing for patent kite-making. But
+when it was done, what was the good? There was no one to see him fly it.
+He did fly it, and it was perfect. It was shaped like a bird, and it
+rose up, and up, and up, and hung poised above the church-tower, light
+and steady as a hawk poised above its prey. William wouldn't even come
+out to look at it, though Harold begged him to.
+
+The next morning Harold dreamed that he had not been able to bear things
+any longer, and had run away, and when William woke up Harold was gone.
+Then William remembered how Harold had offered to help him with his
+kite, and would have helped him to rewrite the essay, and how through
+those three cruel days Harold had again and again tried to make friends,
+and how, after all, he was with his own people, and Harold was a
+stranger.
+
+He said, 'Oh, bother, I wish I hadn't!' and he felt that he had been a
+beast. This is called Remorse. Then he said, 'I'll find him, and I'll be
+as decent to him as I can, poor chap! though he _is_ silly.' This is
+called Repentance.
+
+Then he found a letter on Harold's bed. It said (and it was blotted with
+tears, and it had a blob of glue on it):
+
+ 'DEAR BILLY,
+
+ 'It wasn't my fault about your essay, and I'm sorry, and am going
+ to run away to India to find my people. I shall go disguised as a
+ stowaway.
+
+ 'Your affectionate cousin,
+
+ 'HAROLD EGBERT DARWIN ST. LEGER.'
+
+Billy did not have to show this letter to his mother, because she had
+gone away for the day, so he did not have to explain to her what a
+beast he had been. If he had had to do this, it would have been part of
+what is called Expiation.
+
+Then he got the farm men to go out in every direction, furnished with a
+full description of Harold's silkworm-like appearance, and Billy
+borrowed a bicycle from a noble-hearted butcher's boy in the village and
+set out for Plymouth, because that seemed the likeliest place to look in
+for a cousin who was running away disguised as a stowaway. The wind blew
+straight towards the sea, and it occurred to Billy--he deserves to be
+called Billy now, I think--that the great patent kite, which was ten
+feet high, would drag him along like winking if he could only set it
+flying, and then tie it to the handle-bar of the bicycle. It was rather
+a ticklish business to get the kite up, but the butcher's boy helped--he
+had a noble heart--and at last it was done. Billy saw the great
+bird-kite flying off towards Plymouth. He hastily knotted the string to
+the bicycle handle, held the slack of it in his hand, mounted, started,
+paid out the slack of the string, and the next moment the string was
+tight, and the kite was pulling Billy and the bicycle along the
+Plymouth road at the rate of goodness-only-knows-how-improbably many
+miles an hour.
+
+At last he came to the outskirts of Plymouth. I shall not tell you what
+Plymouth was like, because Billy did not notice or know at all what it
+was like, and there is no reason why you should. Plymouth seemed to
+Billy very much like other places. The only odd thing was that he could
+not stop his bicycle, though he pulled in the kite string as hard as he
+could. He flew through the town. All the traffic stopped to let him
+steer his mad-paced machine through the streets, and tradespeople, and
+people walking on business, and people walking for pleasure, all stopped
+with their respectable mouths wide open to stare at Billy on his
+bicycle. And the kite pulled the machine on and on without pause, and at
+a furious rate, and Billy, in despair, was just feeling in his pocket
+for his knife to cut the string, when some mighty sky-wind seemed to
+catch the kite, and it gave a leap and went twenty times as fast as it
+had gone before, and the bicycle had to go twenty times as fast too, and
+before Billy could say 'Jack Robinson,' or even 'J. R.,' for short, the
+kite rushed wildly out to sea, dragging the bicycle after it, right slap
+off the edge of England. So Billy and the butcher's boy's bicycle were
+dragged into the sea? Not at all. They were dragged _on_ to the sea,
+which is not at all the same sort of thing. For the kite was such a very
+extra patent one, and so perfectly designed and made, that it was just
+strong enough to bear the weight of Billy and the bicycle, and to keep
+them out of the water. So that Billy found himself riding splendidly
+over the waves, and there was no more splashing than there would have
+been on the road on a very muddy day. Luckily, the sea was smooth, or I
+don't know what would have happened. It was smooth and greeny-blue, and
+the sun made diamond sparkles on it, and Billy felt as grand as grand to
+be riding over such a glorious floor. It was a fine time, but rather an
+anxious one too. Because, suppose the string had not held? No one could
+possibly ride a bicycle on the sea unless they had the really only truly
+right sort of kite to hold the machine up.
+
+Away and away went the kite, through the blue air up above, and away and
+away went the bicycle over the greeny, foamy sea down below, and away
+and away went Billy, and the kite went faster and faster and faster, and
+faster went the bicycle--much, much faster than you would believe
+unless you had seen it as Billy did. And just at the front-door of the
+Bay of Biscay the bicycle caught up with a P. and O. steamer, and the
+kite followed the course of the ship, and went alongside of it, so you
+can guess how fast the bicycle was going.
+
+And the Captain of the ship hailed Billy through a speaking-trumpet, and
+said:
+
+'Ahoy, there!'
+
+Billy replied:
+
+'Ahoy yourself!'
+
+But the Captain couldn't hear him. So the Captain said something that
+Billy couldn't hear either. But the people who were meant to hear heard,
+and the great ship stopped, and Billy rode close up to it, and they
+hauled him up by the string of the kite, and they put the bicycle in a
+safe place, and tied the string to the mast, and then the Captain said:
+
+'I suppose I'm dreaming you, boy, because what you're doing is
+impossible.'
+
+'I know it is,' said Billy; 'only I'm doing it--at least, I was till you
+stopped me.'
+
+They were both wrong, because, of course, if it had been impossible,
+Billy could not have done it; but neither of them had a scientific
+mind, as you and I have, dear reader.
+
+So the Captain asked Billy to dinner, which was very nice, only there
+was an uncertain feeling about it. And when Billy had had dinner, he
+said to the Captain:
+
+'I must be going.'
+
+'Is there nothing I can do for you?' said the Captain.
+
+'I don't know,' said Billy, 'unless you happen to have a boy named
+Harold Egbert Darwin St. Leger on board. He said he was going away in a
+ship to India, disguised as a stowaway.'
+
+The Captain at once ordered the ship to be searched for a boy of this
+name in this disguise. The crew looked in the hold, and in the galley,
+and in the foretop, and on the quarter, and in the gaff, and the jib,
+and the topsail, and the boom, but they could not find Harold. They
+ransacked the cross-trees, and the engine-room, and the bowsprit; they
+explored the backstays, the stays, and the waist, but they found no
+stowaway. They examined truck and block, they hunted through every
+porthole, they left not an inch of the ribs unexplored; but no Harold.
+He was not in any of the belaying-pins or dead-eyes, nor was he hidden
+in the capstan or the compass. At last, in despair, the Captain thought
+of looking in the cabins, and in one of them, hidden under the scattered
+pyjamas and embroidered socks of a Major of Artillery, they found
+Harold.
+
+He and Billy explained everything to each other, and shook hands, and
+there was not a dry eye in the ship. (Did you ever see a dry eye? I
+think it would look rather nasty.)
+
+Then said Billy to Harold:
+
+'This is all very well, but how am I to get you home?'
+
+'I can ride on the step of the bike,' said Harold.
+
+'But the wind won't take us back,' said Billy; 'it's dead against us.'
+
+'Excuse me,' said the Captain in a manly manner; 'you know that
+Britannia rules the waves and controls the elements. Allow me one
+moment.'
+
+He sent for the boatswain and bade him whistle for a wind, expressly
+stating what kind of wind was needed.
+
+And everyone saw with delight, but with little surprise, the kite
+deliberately turn round and retrace its steps towards the cliffs of
+Albion.
+
+[Illustration: 'The bicycle started, Billy in the saddle and Harold on
+the step.'--Page 165.]
+
+A cheer rose from passengers and crew alike as the bicycle was lowered
+to the waves, the string tightened, and the bicycle started, Billy in
+the saddle and Harold on the step. The event was a perfect windfall to
+the passengers. It gave them something to talk of all the way to Suez;
+some of them are talking about it still.
+
+The kite went back even faster than it had come; it pulled the bicycle
+behind it as easily as a child pulls a cotton-reel along the floor by a
+bit of thread. So that Harold and Billy were home by tea-time, and it
+was the jolliest meal either of them had ever had.
+
+They had determined to stop the bicycle by cutting the string, and then
+Harold would have lost the patent kite, which would have been a pity.
+But, most happily, the string of the kite caught in the vane on the top
+of the church tower, and the bicycle stopped by itself exactly opposite
+the butcher's boy to whom it belonged. He had a noble heart, and he was
+very glad to see his bicycle again.
+
+After tea the boys went up the church tower to get the kite; and I don't
+suppose you will believe me when I tell you that there, in the niche of
+a window of the belfry, was a jackdaw's nest, and in it the Historical
+Essay which the jackdaw had stolen, as you will have guessed, for the
+sake of the bright gilt manuscript fastener in the corner.
+
+And now Harold and Billy became really chums, in spite of all the
+qualities which they could not help disliking in each other. Each found
+some things in the other that he didn't dislike so very much, after all.
+
+When Harold grows up he will sell many patent kites, and we shall all be
+able to ride bicycles on the sea.
+
+Billy sent in his essay, but he did not get the prize; so it wouldn't
+have mattered if it had never been found, only I am glad it was found.
+
+I hope you will not think that this is a made-up story. It is very
+nearly as true as any of the history in Billy's essay that didn't get a
+prize. The only thing I can't quite believe myself is about the roll of
+the right kind of paper being in the chimney; but Harold couldn't think
+of anything else to dream about, and the most fortunate accidents do
+happen sometimes even in stories.
+
+
+
+
+THE TWOPENNY SPELL
+
+
+Lucy was a very good little girl indeed, and Harry was not so bad--for a
+boy, though the grown-ups called him a limb! They both got on very well
+at school, and were not wholly unloved at home. Perhaps Lucy was a bit
+of a muff, and Harry was certainly very rude to call her one, but she
+need not have replied by calling him a 'beast.' I think she did it
+partly to show him that she was not quite so much of a muff as he
+thought, and partly because she was naturally annoyed at being buried up
+to her waist in the ground among the gooseberry-bushes. She got into the
+hole Harry had dug because he said it might make her grow, and then he
+suddenly shovelled down a heap of earth and stamped it down so that she
+could not move. She began to cry, then he said 'muff' and she said
+'beast,' and he went away and left her 'planted there,' as the French
+people say. And she cried more than ever, and tried to dig herself out,
+and couldn't, and although she was naturally such a gentle child, she
+would have stamped with rage, only she couldn't get her feet out to do
+it. Then she screamed, and her Uncle Richard came and dug her out, and
+said it was a shame, and gave her twopence to spend as she liked. So she
+got nurse to clean the gooseberry ground off her, and when she was
+cleaned she went out to spend the twopence. She was allowed to go alone,
+because the shops were only a little way off on the same side of the
+road, so there was no danger from crossings.
+
+'I'll spend every penny of it on myself,' said Lucy savagely; 'Harry
+shan't have a bit, unless I could think of something he wouldn't like,
+and then I'd get it and put it in his bread and milk!' She had never
+felt quite so spiteful before, but, then, Harry had never before been
+quite so aggravating.
+
+She walked slowly along by the shops, wishing she could think of
+something that Harry hated; she herself hated worms, but Harry didn't
+mind them. Boys are so odd.
+
+Suddenly she saw a shop she had never noticed before. The window was
+quite full of flowers--roses, lilies, violets, pinks,
+pansies--everything you can think of, growing in a tangled heap, as you
+see them in an old garden in July.
+
+She looked for the name over the shop. Instead of being somebody or
+other, Florist, it was 'Doloro de Lara, Professor of white and black
+Magic,' and in the window was a large card, framed and glazed. It said:
+
+ ENCHANTMENTS DONE WHILE YOU WAIT.
+ EVERY DESCRIPTION OF CHARM
+ CAREFULLY AND COMPETENTLY WORKED.
+ STRONG SPELLS FROM FIFTY GUINEAS
+ TO TUPPENCE.
+ WE SUIT ALL PURSES.
+ GIVE US A TRIAL.
+ BEST AND CHEAPEST HOUSE IN THE TRADE.
+ COMPETITION DEFIED.
+
+Lucy read this with her thumb in her mouth. It was the tuppence that
+attracted her; she had never bought a spell, and even a tuppenny one
+would be something new.
+
+'It's some sort of conjuring trick, I suppose,' she thought, 'and I'll
+never let Harry see how it's done--never, never, never!'
+
+She went in. The shop was just as flowery, and bowery, and red-rosy, and
+white-lilyish inside as out, and the colour and the scent almost took
+her breath away. A thin, dark, unpleasing gentleman suddenly popped out
+of a bower of flowering nightshade, and said:
+
+'And what can we do for you to-day, miss?'
+
+'I want a spell, if you please,' said Lucy; 'the best you can do for
+tuppence.'
+
+'Is that all you've got?' said he.
+
+'Yes,' said Lucy.
+
+'Well, you can't expect much of a spell for that,' said he; 'however,
+it's better that I should have the tuppence than that you should; you
+see that, of course. Now, what would you like? We can do you a nice
+little spell at sixpence that'll make it always jam for tea. And I've
+another article at eighteenpence that'll make the grown-ups always think
+you're good even if you're not; and at half a crown----'
+
+'I've only got tuppence.'
+
+'Well,' he said crossly, 'there's only one spell at that price, and
+that's really a tuppenny-half-penny one; but we'll say tuppence. I can
+make you like somebody else, and somebody else like you.'
+
+'Thank you,' said Lucy; 'I like most people, and everybody likes me.'
+
+'I don't mean _that_,' he said. 'Isn't there someone you'd like to hurt
+if you were as strong as they are, and they were as weak as you?'
+
+[Illustration: '"And what can we do for you to-day, Miss?"'--Page
+170.]
+
+'Yes,' said Lucy in a guilty whisper.
+
+'Then hand over your tuppence,' said the dark gentleman, 'and it's a
+bargain.'
+
+He snatched the coppers warm from her hand.
+
+'Now,' he said, 'to-morrow morning you'll be as strong as Harry, and
+he'll be little and weak like you. Then you can hurt him as much as you
+like, and he won't be able to hurt back.'
+
+'Oh!' said Lucy; 'but I'm not sure I want----I think I'd like to change
+the spell, please.'
+
+'No goods exchanged,' he said crossly; 'you've got what you asked for.'
+
+'Thank you,' said Lucy doubtfully, 'but how am I----?'
+
+'It's entirely self-adjusting,' said nasty Mr. Doloro. 'No previous
+experience required.'
+
+'Thank you very much,' said Lucy. 'Good----'
+
+She was going to say 'good-morning,' but it turned into 'good gracious,'
+because she was so very much astonished. For, without a moment's
+warning, the flower-shop had turned into the sweet-shop that she knew so
+well, and nasty Mr. Doloro had turned into the sweet-woman, who was
+asking what she wanted, to which, of course, as she had spent her
+twopence, the answer was 'Nothing.' She was already sorry that she had
+spent it, and in such a way, and she was sorrier still when she got
+home, and Harry owned handsomely that _he_ was sorry he had planted her
+out, but he really hadn't thought she was such a little idiot, and he
+_was_ sorry--so there! This touched Lucy's heart, and she felt more than
+ever that she had not laid out her tuppence to the best advantage. She
+tried to warn Harry of what was to happen in the morning, but he only
+said, 'Don't yarn; Billson Minor's coming for cricket. You can field if
+you like.' Lucy didn't like, but it seemed the only thing she could do
+to show that she accepted in a proper spirit her brother's apology about
+the planting out. So she fielded gloomily and ineffectively.
+
+Next morning Harry got up in good time, folded up his nightshirt, and
+made his room so tidy that the housemaid nearly had a surprise-fit when
+she went in. He crept downstairs like a mouse, and learned his lessons
+before breakfast. Lucy, on the other hand, got up so late that it was
+only by dressing hastily that she had time to prepare a thoroughly good
+booby-trap before she slid down the banisters just as the breakfast-bell
+rang. She was first in the room, so she was able to put a little salt in
+all the tea-cups before anyone else came in. Fresh tea was made, and
+Harry was blamed. Lucy said, 'I did it,' but no one believed her. They
+said she was a noble, unselfish sister to try and shield her naughty
+brother, and Harry burst into floods of tears when she kicked him under
+the table; she hated herself for doing this, but somehow it seemed
+impossible to do anything else.
+
+Harry cried nearly all the way to school, while Lucy insisted on sliding
+along all the gutters and dragging Harry after her. She bought a
+catapult at the toy-shop and a pennyworth of tintacks at the oil-shop,
+both on credit, and as Lucy had never asked for credit before, she got
+it.
+
+At the top of Blackheath Village they separated--Harry went back to his
+school, which is at the other side of the station, and Lucy went on to
+the High School.
+
+The Blackheath High School has a large and beautiful hall, with a
+staircase leading down into it like a staircase in a picture, and at the
+other end of the hall is a big statue of a beautiful lady. The High
+School mistresses call her Venus, but I don't really believe that is her
+name.
+
+Lucy--good, gentle, little Lucy, beloved by her form mistress and
+respected by all the school--sat on those steps--I don't know why no
+one caught her--and used her catapult to throw ink pellets (you know
+what they are, of course) with her catapult at the beautiful white
+statue-lady, till the Venus--if that is her name, which I doubt--was all
+over black spots, like a Dalmation or carriage dog.
+
+Then she went into her class room and arranged tintacks, with the
+business end up, on all the desks and seats, an act fraught with gloomy
+returns to Blossoma Rand and Wilhelmina Marguerite Asterisk. Another
+booby-trap--a dictionary, a pot of water, three pieces of chalk, and a
+handful of torn paper--was hastily sketched above the door. Three other
+little girls looked on in open-mouthed appreciation. I do not wish to
+shock you, so I will not tell you about the complete success of the
+booby-trap, nor of the bloodthirsty fight between Lucy and Bertha
+Kaurter in a secluded fives-court during rec. Dora Spielman and Gertrude
+Rook were agitated seconds. It was Lucy's form mistress, the adored Miss
+Harter Larke, who interrupted the fight at the fifth round, and led the
+blood-stained culprits into the hall and up the beautiful picture-like
+steps to the Headmistress's room.
+
+The Head of the Blackheath High School has all the subtle generalship of
+the Head in Mr. Kipling's 'Stalky.' She has also a manner which subdues
+parents and children alike to 'what she works in, like the dyer's hand.'
+Anyone less clever would have expelled the luckless Lucy--saddled with
+her brother's boy-nature--on such evidence as was now brought forward.
+Not so the Blackheath Head. She reserved judgment, the most terrible of
+all things for a culprit, by the way, who thought it over for an hour
+and a half in the mistress's room, and she privately wrote a note to
+Lucy's mother, gently hinting that Lucy was not quite herself: might be
+sickening for something. Perhaps she had better be kept at home for a
+day or two. Lucy went home, and on the way upset a bicycle with a little
+girl on it, and came off best in a heated physical argument with a
+baker's boy.
+
+Harry, meanwhile, had dried his tears, and gone to school. He knew his
+lessons, which was a strange and pleasing thing, and roused in his
+master hopes destined to be firmly and thoroughly crushed in the near
+future. But when he had emerged triumphantly from morning school he
+suddenly found his head being punched by Simpkins Minor, on the ground
+that he, Harry, had been showing off. The punching was scientific and
+irresistible. Harry, indeed, did not try to resist; in floods of tears
+and with uncontrolled emotion he implored Simpkins Minor to let him
+alone, and not be a brute. Then Simpkins Minor kicked him, and several
+other nice little boy-friends of his joined the glad throng, and it
+became quite a kicking party. So that when Harry and Lucy met at the
+corner of Wemyss Road his face was almost unrecognisable, while Lucy
+looked as happy as a king, and as proud as a peacock.
+
+'What's up?' asked Lucy briskly.
+
+'Every single boy in the school has kicked me,' said Harry in flat
+accents. 'I wish I was dead.'
+
+'So do I,' said Lucy cheerily; 'I think I'm going to be expelled. I
+should be quite certain, only my booby-trap came down on Bessie Jayne's
+head instead of Miss Whatshername's, and Bessie's no sneak, though she
+has got a lump like an ostrich's egg on her forehead, and soaked through
+as well. But I think I'm certain to be expelled.'
+
+'I wish I was,' said Harry, weeping with heartfelt emotion. 'I don't
+know what's the matter with me; I feel all wrong inside. Do you think
+you can turn into things just by reading them? Because I feel as if I
+was in "Sandford and Merton," or one of the books the kind clergyman
+lent us at the seaside.'
+
+'How awfully beastly!' said Lucy. 'Now, I feel as if I didn't care
+tuppence whether I was expelled or not. And, I say, Harry, I feel as if
+I was much stronger than you. I know I could twist your arm round and
+then hit it like you did me the other day, and you couldn't stop me.'
+
+'Of course I couldn't! _I_ can't stop anybody doing anything they want
+to do. Anybody who likes can hit me, and I can't hit back.'
+
+He began to cry again. And suddenly Lucy was really sorry. She had done
+this, she had degraded her happy brother to a mere milksop, just because
+he had happened to plant her out, and leave her planted. Remorse
+suddenly gripped her with tooth and claw.
+
+'Look here,' she said, 'it's all my fault! Because you planted me out,
+and I wanted to hurt you. But now I don't. I can't make you boy-brave
+again; but I'm sorry, and I'll look after you, Harry, old man! Perhaps
+you could disguise yourself in frocks and long hair, and come to the
+High School. I'd take care nobody bullied you. It isn't nice being
+bullied, is it?'
+
+Harry flung his arms round her, a thing he would never have done in the
+public street if he had not been girlish inside at the time.
+
+'No, it's hateful,' he said. 'Lucy, I'm sorry I've been such a pig to
+you.'
+
+Lucy put her arms round him, and they kissed each other, though it was
+broad daylight and they were walking down Lee Park.
+
+The same moment the enchanter Doloro de Lara ran into them on the
+pavement. Lucy screamed, and Harry hit out as hard as he could.
+
+'Look out,' said he; 'who are you shoving into?'
+
+'Tut-tut,' said the enchanter, putting his hat straight, 'you've bust up
+your spell, my Lucy--child; no spells hold if you go kissing and saying
+you're sorry. Just keep that in mind for the future, will you?'
+
+He vanished in the white cloud of a passing steam-motor, and Harry and
+Lucy were left looking at each other. And Harry was Harry and Lucy was
+Lucy to the very marrow of their little back-bones. They shook hands
+with earnest feeling.
+
+Next day Lucy went to the High School and apologised in dust and ashes.
+
+'I don't think I was my right self,' she said to the Headmistress, who
+quite agreed with her, 'and I never will again!'
+
+And she never has. Harry, on the other hand, thrashed Simpkins Minor
+thoroughly and scientifically on the first opportunity; but he did not
+thrash him extravagantly: he tempered pluck with mercy.
+
+For this is the odd thing about the whole story. Ever since the day when
+the tuppenny spell did its work Harry has been kinder than before and
+Lucy braver. I can't think why, but so it is. He no longer bullies her,
+and she is no longer afraid of him, and every time she does something
+brave for him, or he does something kind for her, they grow more and
+more alike, so that when they are grown up he may as well be called
+Lucius and she Harriett, for all the difference there will be between
+them.
+
+And all the grown-ups look on and admire, and think that their incessant
+jawing has produced this improvement. And no one suspects the truth
+except the Headmistress of the High School, who has gone through the
+complete course of Social Magic under a better professor than Mr. Doloro
+de Lara; that is why she understands everything, and why she did not
+expel Lucy, but only admonished her. Harry is cock of his school now,
+and Lucy is in the sixth, and a model girl. I wish all Headmistresses
+learned Magic at Girton.
+
+
+
+
+SHOWING OFF; OR, THE LOOKING-GLASS BOY
+
+
+His parents had thoughtlessly christened him Hildebrand, a name which,
+as you see, is entirely unsuitable for school use. His friends called
+him Brandy, and that was bad enough, though it had a sort of
+pirate-smuggler sound, too. But the boys who did not like him called him
+Hilda, and this was indeed hard to bear. In vain he told them that his
+name was James as well. It was not true, and they would not have
+believed it if it had been.
+
+He had not many friends, because he was not a very nice boy. He was not
+very brave, except when he was in a rage, which is a poor sort of
+courage, anyhow; and when the boys used to call him. 'Cowardy custard'
+and other unpleasing names, he used to try to show off to them, and make
+them admire him by telling them stories of the wild boars he had killed,
+and the Red Indians he had fought, and of how he had been down Niagara
+in an open boat, and been shipwrecked on the high seas. They were not
+bad stories, and the boys would not have minded listening to them, but
+Hildebrand wanted to have his stories not only listened to, but
+believed, which is quite another pair of shoes.
+
+He had one friend who always liked his stories, and believed them almost
+all. This was his little sister. But he was simply horrid to her. He
+never would lend her a any of his toys, and he called her 'Kiddie,'
+which she hated, instead of Ethel, which happened to be her name.
+
+All this is rather dull, and exactly like many boys of your
+acquaintance, no doubt. But what happened to Hildebrand does not,
+fortunately or unfortunately, happen to everybody; I dare say it has
+never happened to you. It began on the day when Hildebrand was making a
+catapult, and Billson Minor came up to him in the playground and said:
+
+'Much use it'll be to you when you've made it. You can't hit a haystack
+a yard off!'
+
+'Can't I?' said Hildebrand. 'You just see! I hit a swallow on the wing
+last summer, and when we had a house in Thibet I shot a llama dead with
+one bullet. He was twenty-five feet long.'
+
+Billson laughed, and asked a boy who was passing if he'd ever been out
+llama-shooting, and, if so, what his bag was. The other boy said:
+
+'Oh, I see--little Hilda gassing again!'
+
+Billson said:
+
+'Gassing! Lying I call it!'
+
+'Liar yourself!' said Hildebrand, who was now so angry that his fingers
+trembled too much for him to be able to go on splicing the catapult.
+
+'Oh, run away and play,' said Billson wearily. 'Go home to nurse, Hilda
+darling, and tell her to put your hair in curl-papers!'
+
+Then Hildebrand's rage turned into a sort of courage, and he hit out at
+Billson, who, of course, hit back, and there was a fight. The other boy
+held their coats and saw fair; and Hildebrand was badly beaten, because
+Billson was older and bigger and a better fighter, so he went home,
+crying with fury and pain. He went up into his own bedroom and bolted
+the door, and wildly wished that he was a Red Indian, and that taking
+scalps was not forbidden in Clapham. Billson's, he reflected gloomily,
+would have been a sandy-coloured scalp, and a nice beginning to a
+scalp-album.
+
+Presently he stopped crying, and let his little sister in. She had been
+crying, too, outside the door, ever since he came home and pushed past
+her on the stairs. She pitied his bruised face, and said it was a shame
+of Billson Minor to hit a boy littler than he was.
+
+'I'm not so very little,' said Hildebrand; 'and you know how brave I am.
+Why, it was only last week that I was the chief of the mighty tribe of
+Moccasins, who waged war against Bill Billson, the Vulture-faced
+Redskin----'
+
+He told the story to its gory end, and Ethel liked it very much, and
+hoped it wasn't wrong to make up such things. She couldn't quite believe
+it all.
+
+Then she went down, and Hildebrand had to wash his face for dinner; and
+when he looked at the boy in the looking-glass and saw the black eye
+Billson Minor had given him, and the cut lip from the same giver, he
+clenched his fist and said:
+
+'I wish I could make things true by saying them. Wouldn't I bung up old
+Billson's peepers, that's all?'
+
+'Well, you can if you like,' said the boy in the glass, whom Hildebrand
+had thought was his own reflection.
+
+'What?' said he, with his mouth open. He was horribly startled.
+
+'You can if you like,' said the looking-glass boy again. 'I'll give you
+your wish. Will you have it?'
+
+'Is this a fairy-tale?' asked Hildebrand cautiously.
+
+'Yes,' said the boy.
+
+Hildebrand had never expected to be allowed to take part in a
+fairy-tale, and at first he could hardly believe in such luck.
+
+'Do you mean to say,' he said, 'that if I say I found a pot of gold in
+the garden yesterday I did find a pot of gold?'
+
+'No; you'll find it to-morrow. The thing works backwards, you see, like
+all looking-glass things. You know your "Alice," I suppose? There's only
+one condition: you won't be able to see yourself in the looking-glass
+any more!'
+
+'Who wants to,' said Hildebrand.
+
+'And things you say to _yourself_ don't count.'
+
+'There's always Ethel,' said Ethel's brother.
+
+'You accept, then?' said the boy in the glass.
+
+'Rather!'
+
+'Right' And with that the looking-glass boy vanished, and Hildebrand was
+left staring at the mirror, which now reflected only the wash-hand-stand
+and the chest of drawers, and part of the picture of Lord Roberts pinned
+against the wall. You have no idea how odd and unpleasant it is to look
+at a glass and see everything reflected as usual, except yourself,
+though you are right in front of it. Hildebrand felt as if he must have
+vanished as well as the looking-glass boy. But he was reassured when he
+looked down at his hands. They were still there, and still extremely
+dirty. The second bell had rung, and he washed them hastily and went
+down.
+
+'How untidy your hair is!' said his mother; 'and oh, Hildebrand, what a
+disagreeable expression, dear! and look at your eye! You've been
+fighting again.'
+
+'I couldn't help it,' said our hero sulkily; 'he called names. Anyway, I
+gave him an awful licking. He's worse than I am. Potatoes, please.'
+
+Next day Hildebrand had forgotten the words he had said at dinner. And
+when Billson asked him if one licking was enough, and whether he,
+Billson, was a liar or not, Hildebrand said:
+
+'You can lick me and make me anything you like, but you _are_, all the
+same, just as much as me,' and he began to cry.
+
+And Billson called him schoolgirl and slapped his face--because Billson
+knew nothing of the promise of the looking-glass boy, that whatever
+Hildebrand said had happened should happen.
+
+It was a dreadful fight, and when it was over Hildebrand could hardly
+walk home. He was much more hurt than he had been the day before. But
+Billson Minor had to be carried home. Only he was all right again next
+day, and Hildebrand wasn't, so he did not get much out of this affair,
+except glory, and the comfort of knowing that Billson and the other boys
+would now be jolly careful how they called him anything but Pilkings,
+which was his father's and his mother's name, and therefore his as well.
+
+He had to stay in bed the next day, and his father punished him for
+fighting, so he consoled himself by telling Ethel how he had found a pot
+of gold in the cellar the day before, after digging in the hard earth
+for hours, till his hands were all bleeding, and how he had hidden it
+under his bed.
+
+'Do let me see, Hildy dear,' she said, trying hard to believe him.
+
+But he said, 'No, not till to-morrow.'
+
+Next day he was well enough to go to school, but he thought he would
+just take some candle-ends and have a look at the cellar, and see if it
+was really likely that there was any gold there. It did not seem
+probable, but he thought he would try, and he did. It was terribly hard
+work, for he had no tools but a spade he had had at the seaside, and
+when that broke, as it did almost at once, he had to go on with a piece
+of hoop-iron and the foot of an old bedstead. He went on till long past
+dinner-time, and his hands were torn and bleeding, his back felt broken
+in two, and his head was spinning with hunger and tiredness. At last,
+just as the tea-bell rang, he reached his hand down deep into the hole
+he had made, and felt something cold and round. He held his candle down.
+It was a pot, tied over with brown paper, like pickled onions. When he
+got it out he took off the paper. The pot was filled to the brim with
+gold coins. Hildebrand blew out his candle and went up. The cook stopped
+him at the top of the cellar stairs.
+
+'What's that you got there, Master Hildy? Pickles, I lay my boots,' she
+said.
+
+'It's not,' said he.
+
+'Let me look,' said she.
+
+'Let me alone,' said Hildebrand.
+
+'Not me,' said the cook.
+
+She had her hand on the brown paper.
+
+Hildebrand had heard how treasure-trove has to be given up to
+Government, and he did not trust the cook.
+
+'You'd better not,' he said quickly; 'it's not what you think it is.'
+
+'What is it, then?'
+
+'It's--it's _snakes_!' said Hildebrand desperately--'snakes out of the
+wine-cellar.'
+
+The cook went into hysterics, and Hildebrand was punished twice, once
+for staying away from school without leave, and once for frightening the
+servants with silly stories. But in the confusion brought about by the
+cook's screams he managed to hide the pot of gold in the bottom of the
+boot cupboard, among the old gaiters and goloshes, and when peace was
+restored and he was sent to bed in disgrace he took the pot with him. He
+lay long awake thinking of the model engine he would buy for himself,
+also of the bay pony, the collections of coins, birds' eggs, and
+postage-stamps, the fishing-rods, the guns, revolvers, and bows and
+arrows, the sweets and cakes and nuts, he would get all for himself. He
+never thought of so much as a pennyworth of toffee for Ethel, or a
+silver thimble for his mother, or a twopenny cigar for Mr. Pilkings.
+
+The first thing in the morning he jumped up and felt under the bed for
+the pot of gold. His hand touched something that was not the pot. He
+screamed, and drew his hand back as quickly as though he had burned it;
+but what he had touched was not hot: it was cold, and thin, and alive.
+It was a snake. And there was another on his bed, and another on the
+dressing-table, and half a dozen more were gliding about inquisitively
+on the floor.
+
+Hildebrand gathered his clothes together--a snake tumbled out of his
+shirt as he lifted it--and made one bound for the door. He dressed on
+the landing, and went to school without breakfast. I am glad to be able
+to tell you that he did say to Sarah the housemaid:
+
+'For goodness' sake don't go into my bedroom--it's running alive with
+snakes!'
+
+She did not believe him, of course; and, indeed, when she went up the
+snakes were safe back in the pot. She did not see this, because she was
+not the kind of girl who sweeps under things every day. That night
+Hildebrand secretly slept in the boxroom, on a pile of newspapers, with
+a rag-bag and a hearthrug over him.
+
+Next day he said to Sarah:
+
+'Did you go into my room yesterday?'
+
+'Of course,' said she.
+
+'Did you take the snakes away?'
+
+'Go along with your snakes!' she said.
+
+So he understood that she had not seen any, and very cautiously he
+looked into his room, and finding it snakeless, crept in, hoping that
+the snakes had changed back into gold. But they had not--snakes and gold
+and pot had all vanished. Then he thought he would be very careful. He
+said to Ethel:
+
+'I had twenty golden sovereigns in my pocket yesterday.'
+
+This was Saturday. Next day was Sunday, and all day long he jingled the
+twenty golden sovereigns he had found that morning in his knickerbocker
+pocket. But they were not there on Monday. And then he saw that though
+he could make things _happen_, he could not make them _last_. So he told
+Ethel he had had seven jam-tarts. He meant to eat them as soon as he got
+them. But the next day when they came he had a headache and did not
+want to eat them. He might have given them to Ethel, but he didn't, and
+next day they had disappeared.
+
+It was very annoying to Hildebrand to know that he had this wonderful
+power, yet he could not get any good out of it. He tried to consult his
+father about it, but Mr. Pilkings said he had no time for romances, and
+he advised Hildebrand to learn his lessons and stick to the truth. But
+this was just what Hildebrand could not do, even after the awful
+occasion when his schoolfellows began to tease him again, and, to
+command their respect, he related how he had met a bear in the lane by
+the church and fought it single-handed, and been carried off more dead
+than alive. Next day, of course, he had to fight the bear, which was
+very brown and clawy and toothy and fierce, and though the
+more-dead-than-alive feeling had gone by next day, it was not a pleasant
+experience. But even that was better than the time when they laughed at
+a very bad construe of his--the form was in Caesar--and he told them how
+he had once translated the inscription on an Egyptian Pyramid. He had no
+peace for weeks after that, because he had forgotten to say how long it
+took him. Every time he was alone he was wafted away to Egypt and set
+down at that Pyramid. But he could not find the inscription, and if he
+had found it he could not have translated it. So, in self-defence, he
+spent most of his waking-time with Ethel. But every night the Pyramid
+had its own way, and it was not till he had cut an inscription himself
+on the Pyramid with the broken blade of his pocket-knife, and translated
+it into English, that he was allowed any rest at all. The inscription
+was _Ich bin eine Gans_, and you can translate it for yourself.
+
+But that did him good in one way; it made him fonder of Ethel. Being so
+much with her, he began to see what a jolly little girl she really was.
+When she had measles--Hildebrand had had them, or it, last Christmas, so
+he was allowed to see his sister--he was very sorry, and really wished
+to do something for her. Mr. Pilkings brought her some hothouse grapes
+one day, and she liked them so much that they were very soon gone. Then
+Hildebrand, who had been very careful since the Pyramid occasion to say
+nothing but the truth, said:
+
+'Ethel, some grapes and pineapples came for you yesterday.'
+
+Ethel knew it wasn't true, but she liked the idea, and said:
+
+'Anything else?'
+
+'Oh yes!' said her brother--'a wax doll and a china tea-set with pink
+roses on it, and books and games,' and he went on to name everything he
+thought she would like.
+
+And, of course, next day the things came in a great packing-case. No one
+ever knew who sent them, but Mr. and Mrs. Pilkings thought it was
+Ethel's godfather in India. And, curiously enough, these things did not
+vanish away, but were eaten and enjoyed and played with as long as they
+lasted. Ethel has one of the dolls still, though now she is quite grown
+up.
+
+Now Hildebrand began to feel sorry to see how ill and worried his mother
+looked; she was tired out with nursing Ethel, so he said to Sarah:
+
+'Mother was quite well yesterday.'
+
+Sarah answered:
+
+'Much you know about it; your poor ma's wore to a shadow.'
+
+[Illustration: 'The alligator very nearly had him.'--Page 195.]
+
+But next day mother _was_ quite well, and this lasted, too. Then he
+wanted to do something for his father, and as he had heard Mr. Pilkings
+complain of his business being very bad, Hildebrand said to Ethel:
+
+'Father made a most awful lot of money yesterday.'
+
+And next day Mr. Pilkings came home and kissed Mrs. Pilkings in the hall
+under the very eyes of Sarah and the boot-boy, and said:
+
+'My dear, our fortune's made!'
+
+The family did not have any nicer things to eat or wear than before, so
+Hildebrand gained nothing by this, unless you count the pleasure he had
+in seeing his father always jolly and cheerful and his mother well, and
+not worried any more. Hildebrand _did_ count this, and it counted for a
+good deal.
+
+But though Hildebrand was now a much happier as well as a more agreeable
+boy, he could not quite help telling a startling story now and then. As,
+for instance, when he informed the butcher's boy that there was an
+alligator in the back-garden. The butcher's boy did not go into the
+garden--indeed, he had no business there, though that would have been no
+reason if he had wanted to go--but next day, when Hildebrand, having
+forgotten all about the matter, went out in the dusk to look for a fives
+ball he had lost, the alligator very nearly had him.
+
+And when he related that adventure of the lost balloon, he had to go
+through with it next day, and it made him dizzy for months only to think
+of it.
+
+But the worst thing of all was when Ethel was well, and he was allowed
+to go back to school. Somehow the fellows were much jollier with him
+than they used to be. Even Billson Minor was quite polite, and asked him
+how the kid was.
+
+'She's all right,' said Hildebrand.
+
+'When my kiddie sister had measles,' Billson said, 'her eyes got bad
+afterwards; she could hardly see.'
+
+'Oh,' said Hildebrand promptly, '_my_ sister's been much worse than
+that; she couldn't see at all.'
+
+When Hildebrand went home next day he found his mother pale and in
+tears. The doctor had just been to see Ethel's eyes--and Ethel was
+blind.
+
+Then Hildebrand went up to his own room. He had done this--his own
+little sister who was so fond of him. And she was such a jolly little
+thing, and he had made her blind, just for a silly bit of show-off to
+Billson Minor; and he knew that the things he had said about Ethel
+before had come true, and had not vanished like the things he said
+about himself, and he felt that this, too, would last, and Ethel would
+go on being blind always. So he lay face down on his bed and cried, and
+was sorry, and wished with all his heart that he had been a good boy,
+and had never looked in the glass, and wished to bung up the eyes of
+Billson Minor, who, after all, was not such a bad sort of chap.
+
+When he had cried till he could not cry any more he got up, and went to
+the looking-glass to see if his eyes were red, which is always
+interesting. He never could remember that he couldn't see himself in the
+glass now. Then suddenly he knew what to do. He ran down into the
+street, and said to the first person he met:
+
+'I say, I saw the looking-glass boy yesterday, and he let me off things
+coming true, and Ethel was all right again.'
+
+It was a policeman, and the constable boxed his ears, and promised to
+run him in next time he had any of his cheek. But Hildebrand went home
+calmer, and he read 'The Jungle Book' aloud to Ethel all the evening.
+
+Next morning he ran to his looking-glass, and it was strange and
+wonderful to him to see his own reflection again after all these weeks
+of a blank mirror, and of parting his hair as well as he could just by
+feeling. But it wasn't his own reflection, of course: it was the
+looking-glass boy.
+
+'I say, you look very different to what you did that day,' said
+Hildebrand slowly.
+
+'So do you,' said the boy.
+
+That other day, which was weeks ago, the looking-glass boy had been
+swollen and scowling and angry, with a black eye and a cut lip, and
+revengeful looks and spiteful words. Now he looked pale and a little
+thinner, but his eyes were only anxious, and his mouth was kind. It was
+just the same ugly shape as ever, but it looked different. And
+Hildebrand was as like the boy in the glass as one pin is like another
+pin.
+
+'I say,' said Hildebrand suddenly and earnestly, 'let me off; I don't
+want it any more, thank you. And oh, do--do make my sister all right
+again.'
+
+'Very well,' said the boy in the looking-glass; 'I'll let you off for
+six months. If you haven't learned to speak the truth by then--well,
+you'll see. Good-bye.'
+
+He held out his hand, and Hildebrand eagerly reached out to shake it. He
+had forgotten the looking-glass, and it smashed against his fist, and
+cracked all over. He never saw the boy again, and he did not want to.
+
+When he went down Ethel's eyes were all right again, and the doctor
+thought it was _his_ doing, and was as proud as a King and as pleased as
+Punch. Hildebrand could only express his own gladness by giving Ethel
+every toy he had that he thought she would like, and he was so kind to
+her that she cried with pleasure.
+
+Before the six months were up Hildebrand was as truthful a boy as anyone
+need wish to meet. He made little slips now and then, just at first,
+about his escape from the mad bull, for instance, and about the
+press-gang.
+
+His stories did not come true next day any more, but he had to dream
+them, which was nearly as bad. So he cured himself, and did his lessons,
+and tried to stick to the truth; and when he told romances he let people
+know what he was playing at. Now he is grown up he dreams his stories
+first, and writes them afterwards; for he writes books, and also he
+writes for the newspapers. When you do these things you may tell as many
+stories as you like, and you need not be at all afraid that any of them
+will come true.
+
+
+
+
+THE RING AND THE LAMP
+
+
+You are, of course, a singularly intelligent child, and so must often
+have wondered what has become of all the interesting things that you
+read about in the old fairy-tales--the shoes of swiftness, and the sword
+of sharpness, and the cloak that made its wearer invisible, and things
+like that. Well, the fact is all these things are still in the world,
+hidden about somewhere, only people are so busy with new inventions,
+wireless telegraphs and X rays, and air-ships, that they don't trouble
+any more to look for the really interesting things. And if you don't
+look for things, you don't find them--at least, not often; though some
+lucky persons have only to walk out of doors and adventures happen to
+them as readily as breakfast and bed happen to ordinary folk. But when
+people do find any of the wonderful old treasures they generally hold
+their tongues about it, because it is so difficult to make people
+believe the truth if it is at all out of the way. Two of the wonder
+things out of the old stories were found only the other day by a little
+girl in Sussex; and she never told anyone but me and one other person. I
+often have things told me that no one else ever hears of, because
+everyone knows that I can believe anything.
+
+The little-girl-in-Sussex's name was Seraphina Bodlett. She did not
+belong to Sussex, having been born in Tooting; but she was staying at a
+Sussex farmhouse for the summer holidays. It was the very nicest place
+to stay at, plenty of room to play in--all the Sussex Downs, in
+fact--and plenty of animals to pet and feed. The only thing was that all
+the other people at the farm were grown up, and Seraphina longed very
+much for someone to play with. The farmer's daughter, Miss Patty, was
+very kind, and always quite willing to play Halma; only it happened that
+Halma was not what Seraphina wanted to play.
+
+It was summer, and Seraphina went to bed early, while it was still
+daylight. She used to lie awake in the big four-post bed, with the white
+dimity curtains, and look at the latticed window and the oak chest of
+drawers with the shell boxes on it, and try to make herself dream that
+she had another little girl to play with. But she always surprised
+herself by waking up in the morning without having dreamed of anything
+at all.
+
+The best parlour at the farm was a very nice place, but Seraphina (whose
+name takes so long to write that I think I had better call her Fina, as
+everyone else did) was not usually allowed to play there, and the blinds
+were always drawn down exactly halfway, because that is genteel.
+
+Sometimes Fina was taken into the parlour by Miss Patty, and then Miss
+Patty would bring out the curiosities that her brother the sailor had
+brought home from his voyages: South Sea necklaces of seeds and beads
+and cut-up reeds, and fat idols from India, with far more arms than most
+of us could find a use for. Then there were beady pincushions made by
+seamen, and a stuffed parrot exactly like life, except that one eye was
+out, and Chinese junks in beautiful carved ivory, and a pagoda (or
+Chinese temple), and that was of ivory too, and all carved out of one
+solid block, Miss Patty said. Fina loved the pagoda best of all the
+curiosities. You could see right into it. It was a tower with seven
+stories, and it had little gold bells on it that rang when Miss Patty
+took off the glass case and gently shook the wooden stand. Of course,
+Fina was never allowed to shake it herself.
+
+'Where did it come from?' She asked this question every time she was
+shown the pagoda.
+
+'It came from the Emperor of China's own Summer Palace at Pekin,' Miss
+Patty always said; 'but my brother Bob never would tell me how he got
+it.'
+
+Then, when Fina had had a last peep through the windows of the pagoda,
+the glass case would be put on again, and Fina would be told to 'run
+along now and play.'
+
+One day she was 'running along and playing' when she met a playfellow.
+It was a fat foxhound puppy, very clumsy and very affectionate. They had
+a romp together, and then the puppy blundered off, and Fina went indoors
+to wash her hands, because the puppy's idea of a romp had been a roll in
+the dust, which Fina had gladly consented to share.
+
+But as she passed the door of the best parlour she stopped a minute, for
+the door was open. It was the day for cleaning out the room, but Miss
+Patty had stopped in the middle of the cleaning to go to the back-door
+to see a pedlar who had some really wonderful bargains in handkerchiefs
+and silk dresses, and mixed white pins and back-hair combs. Fina often
+wondered afterwards whether that pedlar was a real pedlar or a magician
+in disguise.
+
+Now, Fina was an obedient little girl. She did _not_ slip into the
+parlour to have a look round just because the door was open and no one
+was about. But she had not been forbidden to _look_ in, if she got the
+chance, so she stood at the door and looked at the stuffed parrot, and
+the junk, and the rest of the things; and as she looked she started, and
+said:
+
+'_Oh!_ it will tumble down--I know it will--if a door banged even!'
+
+And just then the front-door _did_ bang, and the pagoda trembled; for it
+was standing at the very edge of the chiffonnier, and one of the little
+black, carved claw-feet of its stand was actually overhanging the
+chiffonnier edge.
+
+'I _must_ stand it steady,' said Fina. 'If I go and tell Miss Patty it
+may tumble off before I get back.'
+
+So she went quickly in and took the glass case and stand and pagoda very
+carefully in her hands to move them back to a safe place.
+
+It was this very moment that the foxhound puppy chose for rushing
+in--all wriggle and bark and clumsy paws--and plunging between Fina's
+feet. She reeled, staggered, and she, the puppy, the stand, the glass
+case, and the precious pagoda, all went down together in a crushing
+heap.
+
+When Fina picked herself up the puppy's tail was just disappearing round
+the door, and at her feet lay a scattered heap of splintered ivory and
+glass, the hopeless ruins of the beautiful pagoda.
+
+Her heart seemed to stand still, and then began to beat so hard and fast
+that she felt as though she had a steam-engine in her chest.
+
+Her hands trembled so much that she could hardly pick up the pieces; but
+she did begin to pick them up.
+
+'Perhaps it could be mended,' she said, 'with glue or white of egg, like
+nurse did the china basin; only the pieces are so small and chippety,
+some of them, that I don't see how you could ever fit them together. And
+Miss Patty will be in in a minute! Oh, I wish I was somebody else and
+not me! Oh, whatever will she say?'
+
+Among the shivered splinters of ivory the little gold bells were
+scattered.
+
+'But what's that?' said Fina. 'It's not a bell or----'
+
+She picked whatever it was up from among the shattered ivory and glass.
+It was a gold ring, thick and beautiful, with a strange design on it
+like on the sides of tea-caddies. She slipped it on her hand to keep it
+safe while she went on with the dismal work of picking up the pieces.
+And then, suddenly, the dreadfulness of the deed she had done--though
+quite the puppy's fault, and not hers at all--came over her. She began
+to breathe quickly and then to make faces, and in a moment she was
+sobbing and sniffing, and rubbing her wet eyes with her knuckles, still
+dirty from her politeness in letting the puppy choose what game she and
+it should play at.
+
+She was roused from her crying by a voice, and it was not Miss Patty's
+voice. It said:
+
+'Your servant, miss. What can I have the pleasure of doing for you?'
+
+She took her knuckles out of her eyes, and saw, from between her very
+dirty eyelids, a tall footman who was bowing respectfully before her.
+He was dressed wonderfully in green satin--his large and lovely legs
+wore white silk stockings, and his hair was powdered till it was as
+white as the inside of a newly-sheared fleece.
+
+[Illustration: '"Your servant, Miss. Do I understand that you order me
+to mend this?"'--Page 207.]
+
+'Thank you,' said Fina, sobbing, but polite; 'no one can do anything
+for me, unless they can mend all this, and of course nobody can.'
+
+'Your servant, miss,' said the footman. 'Do I understand that you order
+me to mend this?'
+
+'If you can,' said Fina, a ray of hope lighting her blighted existence;
+'but, of course----WHAT?'
+
+The pagoda stood on the table _mended_! Indeed, it seemed as though
+there had never been any breaking. It was there, safe and sound as it
+had always been, on its ebony stand, with the shining bubble of its
+glass case rising dome-like over it.
+
+The footman had vanished.
+
+'_Well!_' said Fina, 'I suppose it was all a waking dream. How horrible!
+I've read of waking dreams, but I didn't know there were ever waking
+nightmares. Perhaps I better _had_ wash my hands--and my face,' she
+added, when she saw it, round, red, and streaked with mud (made of dust
+and tears), in the glass of the chiffonnier.
+
+She dipped her face in fresh water in the willow-patterned basin in her
+big attic bedroom. Then she washed her hands. And as she began to rub
+the soap on she heard a noise.
+
+'Your servant, miss. What can I have the pleasure of doing for you?'
+
+And there was that footman again.
+
+'Who are you?' said Fina. 'Why do you follow me about?'
+
+'I am the Slave of the Ring, please, miss,' replied the footman, with
+another bow. 'And, of course, when you rubs it I appears.'
+
+'The Slave of the Ring?' said Fina, letting the soapsuds drip from her
+hands to the carpet. 'Do you mean Aladdin's ring?'
+
+'The ring belonged to the gentleman you mentions at one time, miss.'
+
+'But I thought the Slave of the Ring was a genie--a great, foaming,
+fierce, black slave in a turban.'
+
+'Times is changed, miss,' said the footman. 'In this here civilised
+country there aren't no slaves, only servants. You have to keep up with
+the times, even if you're a----'
+
+'But I thought the Slave of the Ring spoke Chinese?'
+
+'So I does, miss, when in that country. But whatever'd be the use of
+talking Chinese to you?'
+
+'But tell me--oh, there's the dinner-bell! Look here, I wish you'd not
+keep appearing so suddenly. It does startle me so.'
+
+'Then don't you go on rubbing the ring sudden, miss. It's that as does
+it. Nothing I can do for you, miss?'
+
+'Not now,' said Fina, and he vanished as she spoke.
+
+When Fina sat down to dinner in the farm kitchen--a very nice dinner it
+was, boiled pork and beans, and a treacle-tart to follow--she picked up
+her horn-handled knife and fork and clutched them hard. They felt real
+enough. But the footman--she must have dreamed him, and the ring. She
+had left the ring in the dressing-table drawer upstairs, for fear she
+should rub it accidentally. She knew what a start it would give Miss
+Patty and the farmer if a genie footman suddenly appeared from nowhere
+and stood behind their chairs at dinner.
+
+Miss Patty seemed very cheerful.
+
+'It _was_ a piece of luck, father, wasn't it, that pedlar wanting
+Chinese things? He gave me two pieces of broadcloth that'll cut into
+three or four coats for you, and a length of black silk that rich it'll
+stand alone, and ten pounds in gold, and half a dozen silk
+neck-squares.'
+
+'Yes,' said the farmer, 'it was a good bargain for you; and Bob give you
+the pagoda, and you've a right to do as you like with your own.'
+
+'Oh, Miss Patty,' said Fina, 'you've never been and sold the pagoda--the
+beautiful, darling pagoda?'
+
+'Yes, I have, dear; but never mind, I'll buy you a new doll out of the
+money I got for it.'
+
+'Thank you,' said Fina; but the pork and beans did not taste so nice now
+she knew that the pretty pagoda was sold. Also she was rather worried
+about the ring. Ought she to keep it? She had found it, of course, but
+someone must have lost it. Yet she couldn't bear to give it up, when she
+hadn't made the slave of it do a single thing for her, except to mend
+the pagoda.
+
+After dinner Fina went and got the ring. She was very careful not to rub
+it till she was safe and alone in a quiet green nook in the little wood
+at the end of the garden, where the hazels and sweet chestnuts and
+hornbeams grew so closely that she was quite hidden.
+
+Then she rubbed the ring, and instantly the footman was there. But there
+was no room for him to stand up under the thicket, so he appeared
+kneeling, and trying to bow in that position.
+
+'Then it's not a dream?' said she.
+
+'How often I have heard them very words!' said the Slave of the Ring.
+
+'I want you to tell me things,' said Fina. 'Do sit down; you look so
+uncomfortable like that.'
+
+'Thank you, miss,' said the footman; 'you're very thoughtful for a child
+of your age, and of this age, too! Service ain't what it was.'
+
+'Now, tell me,' she said, 'where did the ring come from?'
+
+'There's seven secrets I ain't allowed to tell,' the footman said, 'and
+that there what you asked me's one of them; but the ring's as old as
+old--I can tell you that.'
+
+'But I mean where did it come from just now--when I found it?'
+
+'Oh, _then_. Why, it come out of the pagoda, of course. The floor of the
+third story was made double, and the ring was stuck between the floor of
+that and the ceiling of the second floor, and when you smashed the
+pagoda o' course it rolled out. The pagoda was made o' purpose to take
+care of the ring.'
+
+'Who made it?' asked Fina.
+
+'I did,' said the genie proudly.
+
+'And now,' said Fina, 'what shall we do?'
+
+'Excuse me,' the footman said firmly; 'one thing I'm _not_ bound to do
+is to give advice.'
+
+'But you'll do anything else I tell you?'
+
+'Yes, miss--almost anything. I'll talk to you willing, I will, and tell
+you my life's sorrows.'
+
+'I should like that some other time,' said Fina, 'but just now, perhaps,
+you'd better get me a doll.'
+
+And a doll lay at her feet among the dead leaves. It was a farthing
+Dutch doll.
+
+'You didn't say what sort of a doll,' said the footman, when she had
+rubbed the ring and he had reappeared, and she had reproached him. 'I've
+been in service long enough to do exactly what I am told. My life-sorrow
+has been----'
+
+'I say,' Fina said suddenly, 'can't you get the pagoda back for me?'
+
+Instantly the pagoda was there and the footman was not. Fina spent the
+afternoon playing with the beautiful ivory toy, but when it was tea-time
+she had to ask the genie footman to take it away again, for she dared
+not face the questions and she could not invent the explanations that
+would have followed if she had turned up at the house with the pagoda
+under her arm.
+
+You will think that Fina ought to have been the happiest of little
+girls, now that she had a genie footman Slave of the Ring in a green
+coat to get her anything she wanted, and run her errands on his
+beautiful balustrade-like white silk legs. But this was not so.
+
+It was all very well to go into the wood every day and make the footman
+fetch her the most beautiful dolls and toys and sweets, but even sweets
+are dull if you eat them alone; and what is the use of toys, or even
+pagodas, if you have no one to show them to, and dare not have them
+except in a secret corner of the wood?
+
+She tried to get the footman to play with her, but he said that was a
+little more than anyone could expect, and began again about his sorrows;
+and as for getting him to take any interest in the wonderful things he
+fetched for her, she felt at once that these were nothing to a genie
+footman with such a jewelled and exciting past as his.
+
+She was not a very clever little girl. She wished for a white pony, and,
+of course, it came, but there was no room for it in the wood, and it
+walked on her foot and tried to bite her, and she hastily had to send it
+away. She wished for a pet lamb, but it baaed so loudly that she was
+almost discovered by the farmer, so that had to go too. And she had
+been wishing for these vain and unsatisfying things for more than a week
+before she thought of asking for a little girl to play with.
+
+The genie brought a little girl at once, but she was a horrid little
+girl, with a red pigtail and a green frock trimmed with black bead
+trimming, and she broke the toys and laughed at Fina when she tried to
+tell her the story of the pagoda and the Ring Slave. Also there was no
+room to play in the secret nook in the wood, and when the little girl
+had slapped Fina and taken the pagoda away from her it seemed best to
+ask the genie to take the little girl herself away. Fina never saw her
+again, and never wanted to either!
+
+At last Fina knew that what she really wanted was not only someone to
+play with, but a good place to play in, so she shut her eyes and
+thought--as hard as a not very clever person of eight can think--and
+then she rubbed the ring and said:
+
+'Please take me somewhere where there is a little girl who will play
+with me, a nice little girl, and room to play in.'
+
+And at once the wood vanished--like a magic-lantern picture when the
+kind clergyman who is showing it changes the slide--and she was in a
+strange room.
+
+[Illustration: 'The little girl had slapped Fina and taken the pagoda
+away.'--Page 214.]
+
+It was a nursery--very large and light. There were flowers at the
+window, and pictures on the walls, and many toys. And on a couch,
+covered with a bright green rug with yellow daisies embroidered on it,
+lay a little girl with pretty yellow hair and kind, merry blue eyes.
+
+'_Oh!_' said the little girl, very much astonished.
+
+'_Oh!_' said Fina, at the same minute, and with the same quantity of
+astonishment.
+
+'I've come to play with you, if you'll let me,' said Fina.
+
+'How lovely! But how did you get in?'
+
+'The Slave of the Ring brought me.'
+
+'The Slave of the Ring! How wonderful!'
+
+'Yes, isn't it? What's your name?'
+
+'Ella.'
+
+'Mine's Fina. Wouldn't you like to see my Ring Slave, Ella?'
+
+'Yes--oh yes!' Ella was laughing softly.
+
+Fina rubbed the ring and the footman genie appeared, his silk legs more
+beautifully silk than ever.
+
+'Please fetch the pagoda.'
+
+The pagoda toppled on to the couch, and the genie vanished, as he
+always did when he had executed an order.
+
+When Ella had admired the pagoda, which she did very thoroughly and
+satisfyingly, she said:
+
+'And now I'll show you _mine_!'
+
+She pulled a battered iron thing from under her pillow and rubbed it.
+Instantly a very grand stout gentleman in evening dress stood before
+them. He had most respectable whiskers, and he said:
+
+'What can I do for you, madam?'
+
+'Who is it?' whispered Fina.
+
+'It's the Slave of the Lamp,' said Ella. 'He says he's disguised as a
+perfect butler because times have changed so since _his_ time.'
+
+'Send him away,' said Fina.
+
+'Oh, dear Ella,' she went on, when they were alone, 'tell me all about
+yours, and I'll tell you all about mine.'
+
+'Well,' said Ella, 'I found the lamp at the seaside, just before I hurt
+my back. I fell off the sea-wall, you know, and I shan't be able to walk
+for ever so long. And one day I rubbed it by accident, and since then my
+beautiful perfect butler gets me anything I want. Look here, I'll tell
+him to make it like it was yesterday.'
+
+The lamp was rubbed, the order given, and the nursery became a palace
+hall hung with cloth of gold and blazing with jewels and softly-coloured
+lamps.
+
+'But can't your butler cure your back?'
+
+'No. Time is the only genie who can do that, my butler says. You don't
+know how I've wanted someone to show it all to! But I never thought of
+wishing for you. It's only a week since I found the lamp----'
+
+'Do they leave you alone all the time?'
+
+'Oh no, only when I say I'm sleepy; and my butler has orders to change
+everything to ordinary directly the door-handle turns.'
+
+'Have you told anyone?'
+
+'Oh _no_! My butler says if you tell anyone grown-up that you've got the
+lamp it will vanish away. I can't remember whether it's like that in the
+"Arabian Nights"; perhaps it's a new rule.'
+
+The two little girls talked all the afternoon about the wonderful things
+they would make their slaves do for them, and they were so contented
+with each other's company that they never once called on their slaves
+for anything.
+
+But when Fina began to feel the inside feeling that means teatime, she
+rubbed the ring for her slave to take her back to the farm.
+
+'I'll get my slave to take me to see you home,' said Ella. 'He can carry
+me quite without hurting me.'
+
+So she rubbed the lamp, and the stately butler instantly appeared.
+
+'Please----' Ella began; but the glorious butler interrupted.
+
+'James,' he said to the footman, 'what are you doing here?'
+
+'I'm in service with this young lady, Mr. Lamp, sir.'
+
+'Give me the ring, James.'
+
+And instantly the footman took the ring, very gently but quite
+irresistibly, from Fina's finger, and handed it to the butler.
+
+'Oh _no_!' Fina cried, 'you've no right to take my ring. And he's no
+right to obey you. He's _my_ slave.'
+
+'Excuse me, madam,' said the butler, looking more and more perfect, and
+more and more the sort of person who is sure to know best, 'he is not
+_your_ slave. He is the Slave of the Ring. But then, you see, he is a
+footman, and footmen have to obey butlers all the world over.'
+
+[Illustration: '"We'll see if you are going to begin a-ordering of me
+about."'--Page 219.]
+
+'That's so, miss,' said the footman; 'but the lamp's stronger than the
+ring.' He snatched up the lamp. 'Now, then,' he said, turning fiercely
+to the butler, 'we'll see if you're going to begin a-orderin' of me
+about!'
+
+The butler so far forgot himself as to scratch his head thoughtfully.
+
+'Yes,' he said, after a pause; 'I've got to own that you've got the
+better of me there, James Rings. But why dispute--which is beneath the
+dignity of a six-foot footman like yourself, to say nothing of the
+dignity of a butler, which is a thing words can't do justice to? You're
+my slave because I've got the ring and because I'm a butler and you're a
+footman. And I'm your slave because you've got the lamp. It's half a
+dozen of one and six and a half of the other. Can't we come to some
+agreement between ourselves, James?'
+
+'Oh,' cried Ella, 'what about _us_?'
+
+'We are excessively sorry to cause any inconvenience, madam,' said the
+butler, 'but we give you five minutes' notice. We are leaving service
+for good.'
+
+'Oh, Lamps!' cried Ella. 'And you were always such a beautiful butler. I
+thought you enjoyed being it.'
+
+'Don't you make any mistake, miss,' the footman put in. 'Nobody _enjoys_
+being in service, though they has to put up with it. Me and Mr. Lamps is
+retiring from service. Perhaps we may take a little business and go into
+partnership, and always wishing you well, young ladies both.'
+
+'But,' said Fina, 'you _can't_ go and leave me here! Why, I should never
+get home. I don't so much as know what county I'm in.'
+
+'You're in Auckland, miss,' said James.
+
+'There isn't such a country.'
+
+'Pardon me, madam,' said the butler, 'there is. In New Zealand.'
+
+'Don't cry, miss,' said James. 'If Mr. Lamps 'll only give the word,
+I'll take you home.'
+
+'And then I shall never see Ella again.'
+
+'Oh, tell Lamps to rub the ring and tell you to arrange for me to come
+and live near her in England,' cried Ella; 'if he'll do that I don't
+care. I'd rather have a friend than twenty slaves.'
+
+'A very proper sentiment, ma'am,' said the butler approvingly. 'Is there
+any other little thing we could do to oblige you?'
+
+'The pagoda,' said Fina. 'If you could only get it back to Miss Patty,
+so that she won't lose the things she sold it for, and won't know about
+the ring having been in it.'
+
+'Consider it done, madam,' said the Slave of the Lamp, stroking his
+respectable butlerial whisker. 'Now, if you're ready, your footman shall
+see you home.'
+
+'Good-bye, oh, good-bye,' said the little girls, kissing each other very
+much.
+
+Then Fina shut her eyes, and there she was in the wood in Sussex--alone.
+
+'Now, _have_ I dreamed it all?' she said, and went slowly home to tea.
+
+The first thing she saw on the tea-table was the pagoda! And the next
+was a brown-faced sailor eating hot buttered toast in the Windsor
+armchair.
+
+'Well may you look!' said Miss Patty; 'this is my brother Bob, newly
+arrived from foreign parts. And he met that pedlar and bought the pagoda
+off him for two pounds and a highly-coloured cockatoo he was bringing
+home. And these ten sovereigns the wicked old man gave me are bad ones.
+But the dresses and the cloth are good. It's a wonderful world!'
+
+Fina thought so too.
+
+Now, the oddest thing about all this is that six months later some new
+people came to live in the house next door to the house where Fina lived
+in Tooting. And those new people came from New Zealand. And one of them
+was called Ella!
+
+Fina knew her at once, but Ella had forgotten her, and forgotten the
+beautiful perfect butler and the perfect footman, and the lamp and the
+ring, and everything. Perhaps a long sea-voyage is bad for the memory.
+Anyway, the two little girls are close friends, and Ella loves to hear
+Fina tell the story of the two slaves, though she doesn't believe a word
+of it.
+
+
+Fina's father and Ella's father have left Tooting now. They live in
+lovely houses at Haslemere. And Fina has a white pony and Ella has a
+brown one. Their fathers are very rich now. They both got situations as
+managers to branch houses of Messrs. Lamps, Rings, and Co., Electrical
+Engineers. Mr. Lamps attends to the lighting department, and Mr. Rings
+is at the head of the bells, which always ring beautifully. And I hear
+that Ella's father and Fina's father are likely to be taken into
+partnership. Mr. Bodlett has bought the pagoda, at Fina's earnest
+request, and it stands on a sideboard in his handsome drawing-room.
+Fina sometimes asks it whether she really did dream the whole story or
+not. But it never says a word.
+
+Of course, you and I know that every word of the story is true.
+
+
+
+
+THE CHARMED LIFE; OR, THE PRINCESS AND THE LIFT-MAN
+
+
+There was once a Prince whose father failed in business and lost
+everything he had in the world--crown, kingdom, money, jewels, and
+friends. This was because he was so fond of machinery that he was always
+making working models of things he invented, and so had no time to
+attend to the duties that Kings are engaged for. So he lost his
+situation. There is a King in French history who was fond of machinery,
+particularly clock-work, and he lost everything too, even his head. The
+King in this story kept his head, however, and when he wasn't allowed to
+make laws any more, he was quite contented to go on making machines. And
+as his machines were a great deal better than his laws had ever been, he
+soon got a nice little business together, and was able to buy a house in
+another kingdom, and settle down comfortably with his wife and son. The
+house was one of those delightful villas called after Queen Anne (the
+one whose death is still so often mentioned and so justly deplored),
+with stained glass to the front-door, and coloured tiles on the
+front-garden path, and gables where there was never need of gables, and
+nice geraniums and calceolarias in the front-garden, and pretty red
+brick on the front of the house. The back of the house was yellow brick,
+because that did not show so much.
+
+Here the King and the Queen and the Prince lived very pleasantly. The
+Queen snipped the dead geraniums off with a pair of gold scissors, and
+did fancy-work for bazaars. The Prince went to the Red-Coat School, and
+the King worked up his business. In due time the Prince was apprenticed
+to his father's trade; and a very industrious apprentice he was, and
+never had anything to do with the idle apprentices who play pitch and
+toss on tombstones, as you see in Mr. Hogarth's picture.
+
+When the Prince was twenty-one his mother called him to her. She put
+down the blotting-book she was embroidering for the School Bazaar in
+tasteful pattern of stocks and nasturtiums, and said:
+
+'My dear son, you have had the usual coming-of-age presents--silver
+cigar-case and match-box; a handsome set of brushes, with your initials
+on the back; a Gladstone bag, also richly initialled; the complete works
+of Dickens and Thackeray; a Swan fountain-pen mounted in gold; and the
+heartfelt blessing of your father and mother. But there is still one
+more present for you.'
+
+'You are too good, mamma,' said the Prince, fingering the
+nasturtium-coloured silks.
+
+'Don't fidget,' said the Queen, 'and listen to me. When you were a baby
+a fairy, who was your godmother, gave you a most valuable present--a
+Charmed Life. As long as you keep it safely, nothing can harm you.'
+
+'How delightful!' said the Prince. 'Why, mamma, you might have let me go
+to sea when I wanted to. It would have been quite safe.'
+
+'Yes, my dear,' said the Queen, 'but it's best to be careful. I have
+taken care of your life all these years, but now you are old enough to
+take care of it for yourself. Let me advise you to keep it in a safe
+place. You should never carry valuables about on your person.'
+
+And then she handed the Charmed Life over to him, and he took it and
+kissed her, and thanked her for the pretty present, and went away and
+hid it. He took a brick out of the wall of the villa, and hid his Life
+behind it. The bricks in the walls of these Queen Anne villas generally
+come out quite easily.
+
+Now, the father of the Prince had been King of Bohemia, so, of course,
+the Prince was called Florizel, which is their family name; but when the
+King went into business he went in as Rex Bloomsbury, and his great
+patent Lightning Lift Company called itself R. Bloomsbury and Co., so
+that the Prince was known as F. Bloomsbury, which was as near as the
+King dared go to 'Florizel, Prince of Bohemia.' His mother, I am sorry
+to say, called him Florrie till he was quite grown up.
+
+Now, the King of the country where Florizel lived was a very go-ahead
+sort of man, and as soon as he heard that there were such things as
+lifts--which was not for a long time, because no one ever lets a King
+know anything if it can be helped--he ordered one of the very, very best
+for his palace. Next day a card was brought in by one of the palace
+footmen. It had on it: 'Mr. F. Bloomsbury, R. Bloomsbury and Co.'
+
+'Show him in,' said the King.
+
+'Good-morning, sire,' said Florizel, bowing with that perfect grace
+which is proper to Princes.
+
+'Good-morning, young man,' said the King. 'About this lift, now.'
+
+'Yes, sire. May I ask how much your Majesty is prepared to----'
+
+'Oh, never mind price,' said the King; 'it all comes out of the taxes.'
+
+'I should think, then, that Class A ... our special Argentinella
+design--white satin cushions, woodwork overlaid with ivory and inset
+with pearls, opals, and silver.'
+
+'Gold,' said the King shortly.
+
+'Not with pearls and ivory,' said Florizel firmly. He had excellent
+taste. 'The gold pattern--we call it the Anriradia--is inlaid with
+sapphires, emeralds, and black diamonds.'
+
+'I'll have the gold pattern,' said the King; 'but you might run up a
+little special lift for the Princess's apartments. I dare say she'd like
+that Argentinella pattern--"Simple and girlish," I see it says in your
+circular.'
+
+So Florizel booked the order, and the gold and sapphire and emerald lift
+was made and fixed, and all the Court was so delighted that it spent
+its whole time in going up and down in the lift, and there had to be new
+blue satin cushions within a week.
+
+Then the Prince superintended the fixing of the Princess's lift--the
+Argentinella design--and the Princess Candida herself came to look on at
+the works; and she and Florizel met, and their eyes met, and their hands
+met, because his caught hers, and dragged her back just in time to save
+her from being crushed by a heavy steel bar that was being lowered into
+its place.
+
+'Why, you've saved my life,' said the Princess.
+
+But Florizel could say nothing. His heart was beating too fast, and it
+seemed to be beating in his throat, and not in its proper place behind
+his waistcoat.
+
+'Who are you?' said the Princess.
+
+'I'm an engineer,' said the Prince.
+
+'Oh dear!' said the Princess, 'I thought you were a Prince. I'm sure you
+look more like a Prince than any Prince _I've_ ever seen.'
+
+'I wish I was a Prince,' said Florizel; 'but I never wished it till
+three minutes ago.'
+
+The Princess smiled, and then she frowned, and then she went away.
+
+Florizel went straight back to the office, where his father, Mr. Rex
+Bloomsbury, was busy at his knee-hole writing-table.
+
+He spent the morning at the office, and the afternoon in the workshop.
+
+'Father,' he said, 'I don't know what ever will become of me. I wish I
+was a Prince!'
+
+The King and Queen of Bohemia had never let their son know that he was a
+Prince; for what is the use of being a Prince if there's never going to
+be a kingdom for you?
+
+Now, the King, who was called R. Bloomsbury, Esq., looked at his son
+over his spectacles and said:
+
+'Why?'
+
+'Because I've been and gone and fallen head over ears in love with the
+Princess Candida.'
+
+The father rubbed his nose thoughtfully with his fountain pen.
+
+'Humph!' he said; 'you've fixed your choice high.'
+
+'Choice!' cried the Prince distractedly. 'There wasn't much choice about
+it. She just looked at me, and there I was, don't you know? I didn't
+_want_ to fall in love like this. Oh, father, it hurts most awfully!
+What ever shall I do?'
+
+After a long pause, full of thought, his father replied:
+
+'Bear it, I suppose.'
+
+'But I _can't_ bear it--at least, not unless I can see her every day.
+Nothing else in the world matters in the least.'
+
+'Dear me!' said his father.
+
+'Couldn't I disguise myself as a Prince, and try to make her like me a
+little?'
+
+'The disguise you suggest is quite beyond our means at present.'
+
+'Then I'll disguise myself as a lift attendant,' said Florizel.
+
+And what is more, he did it. His father did not interfere. He believed
+in letting young people manage their own love affairs.
+
+So that when the lift was finished, and the Princess and her ladies
+crowded round to make the first ascent in it, there was Florizel dressed
+in white satin knee-breeches, and coat with mother-o'-pearl buttons. He
+had silver buckles to his shoes, and a tiny opal breast-pin on the
+lappet of his coat, where the white flower goes at weddings.
+
+When the Princess saw him she said:
+
+'Now, none of you girls are to go in the lift at all, mind! It's _my_
+lift. You can use the other one, or go up the mother-of-pearl staircase,
+as usual.'
+
+Then she stepped into the lift, and the silver doors clicked, and the
+lift went up, just carrying her and him.
+
+She had put on a white silky gown, to match the new lift, and she, too,
+had silver buckles on her shoes, and a string of pearls round her
+throat, and a silver chain set with opals in her dark hair; and she had
+a bunch of jasmine flowers at her neck. As the lift went out of sight
+the youngest lady-in-waiting whispered:
+
+'What a pretty pair! Why, they're made for each other! What a pity he's
+a lift-man! He looks exactly like a Prince.'
+
+'Hold your tongue, silly!' said the eldest lady-in-waiting, and slapped
+her.
+
+The Princess went up and down in the lift all the morning, and when at
+last she had to step out of it because the palace luncheon-bell had rung
+three times, and the roast peacock was getting cold, the eldest
+lady-in-waiting noticed that the Lift-man had a jasmine flower fastened
+to his coat with a little opal pin.
+
+The eldest lady-in-waiting kept a sharp eye on the Princess, but after
+that first day the Princess only seemed to go up and down in the lift
+when it was really necessary, and then she always took the youngest
+lady-in-waiting with her; so that though the Lift-man always had a
+flower in his buttonhole, there was no reason to suppose it had not been
+given him by his mother.
+
+'I suppose I'm a silly, suspicious little thing,' said the eldest
+lady-in-waiting. 'Of course, it was the lift that amused her, just at
+first. How _could_ a Princess be interested in a lift-man?'
+
+Now, when people are in love, and want to be quite certain that they are
+loved in return, they will take any risks to find out what they want to
+know. But as soon as they are _quite sure_ they begin to be careful.
+
+And after those seventy-five ups and downs in the lift, on the first
+day, the Princess no longer had any doubt that she was beloved by the
+Lift-man. Not that he had said a word about it, but she was a clever
+Princess, and she had seen how he picked up the jasmine flower she let
+fell, and kissed it when she pretended she wasn't looking, and he
+pretended he didn't know she was. Of course, she had been in love with
+him ever since they met, and their eyes met, and their hands. She told
+herself it was because he had saved her life, but that wasn't the real
+reason at all.
+
+So, being quite sure, she began to be careful.
+
+'Since he really loves me he'll find a way to tell me so, right out.
+It's his part, not mine, to make everything possible,' she said.
+
+As for Florizel, he was quite happy. He saw her every day, and every day
+when he took his place in his lift there was a fresh jasmine flower
+lying on the satin cushion. And he pinned it into his buttonhole and
+wore it there all day, and thought of his lady, and of how that first
+wonderful day she had dropped a jasmine flower, and how he had picked it
+up when she pretended she was not looking, and he was pretending that he
+did not know she was. But all the same he wanted to know exactly how
+that jasmine flower came there every day, and whose hand brought it. It
+might be the youngest lady-in-waiting, but Florizel didn't think so.
+
+So he went to the palace one morning bright and early, much earlier than
+usual, and there was no jasmine flower. Then he hid behind one of the
+white velvet window-curtains of the corridor and waited. And, presently,
+who should come stealing along on the tips of her pink toes--so as to
+make no noise at all--but the Princess herself, fresh as the morning in
+a white muslin frock with a silver ribbon round her darling waist, and
+a bunch of jasmine at her neck. She took one of the jasmine flowers and
+kissed it and laid it on the white satin seat of the lift, and when she
+stepped back there was the Lift-man.
+
+'Oh!' said Candida, and blushed like a child that is caught in mischief.
+
+'Oh!' said Florizel, and he picked up the jasmine and kissed it many
+times.
+
+'Why do you do that?' said the Princess.
+
+'Because you did,' said the Prince. 'I saw you. Do you want to go on
+pretending any more?'
+
+The Princess did not know what to say, so she said nothing.
+
+Florizel came and stood quite close to her.
+
+'I used to wish I was a Prince,' he said, 'but I don't now. I'd rather
+be an engineer. If I'd been a Prince I should never have seen you.'
+
+'I don't want you to be a bit different,' said the Princess. And she
+stooped to smell the jasmine in his buttonhole.
+
+'So we're betrothed,' said Florizel.
+
+'Are we?' said Candida.
+
+'Aren't we?' he said.
+
+'Well, yes, I suppose we are,' said she.
+
+'Very well, then,' said Florizel, and he kissed the Princess.
+
+'You're sure you don't mind marrying an engineer?' he said, when she had
+kissed him back.
+
+'Of course not,' said the Princess.
+
+'Then I'll buy the ring,' said he, and kissed her again.
+
+Then she gave him the rest of the jasmine, with a kiss for each star,
+and he gave her a little keepsake in return, and they parted.
+
+'My heart is yours,' said Florizel, 'and my life is in your hands.'
+
+'My life is yours,' said she, 'and my heart is in your heart.'
+
+Now, I am sorry to say that somebody had been listening all the time
+behind another curtain, and when the Princess had gone to her breakfast
+and the Lift-man had gone down in his lift, this somebody came out and
+said, 'Aha!'
+
+It was a wicked, ugly, disagreeable, snub-nosed page-boy, who would have
+liked to marry the Princess himself. He had really no chance, and never
+could have had, because his father was only a rich brewer. But he felt
+himself to be much superior to a lift-man. And he was the kind of boy
+who always sneaks if he has half a chance. So he went and told the King
+that he had seen the Princess kissing the Lift-man in the morning all
+bright and early.
+
+The King said he was a lying hound, and put him in prison at once for
+mentioning such a thing--which served him right.
+
+Then the King thought it best to find out for himself whether the
+snub-nosed page-boy had spoken the truth.
+
+So he watched in the morning all bright and early, and he saw the
+Princess come stealing along on the tips of her little pink toes, and
+the lift (Argentinella design) came up, and the Lift-man in it. And the
+Princess gave him kissed jasmine to put in his buttonhole.
+
+So the King jumped out on them and startled them dreadfully. And
+Florizel was locked up in prison, and the Princess was locked up in her
+room with only the eldest lady-in-waiting to keep her company. And the
+Princess cried all day and all night. And she managed to hide the
+keepsake the Prince had given her. She hid it in a little book of
+verses. And the eldest lady saw her do it. Florizel was condemned to be
+executed for having wanted to marry someone so much above him in
+station. But when the axe fell on his neck the axe flew to pieces, and
+the neck was not hurt at all. So they sent for another axe and tried
+again. And again the axe splintered and flew. And when they picked up
+the bits of the axe they had all turned to leaves of poetry books.
+
+So they put off the execution till next day.
+
+The gaoler told the snub-nosed page all about it when he took him his
+dinner of green water and mouldering crusts.
+
+'Couldn't do the trick!' said the gaoler. 'Two axes broke off short and
+the bits turned to rubbish. The executioner says the rascal has a
+Charmed Life.'
+
+'Of course he has,' said the ugly page, sniffing at the crusts with his
+snub-nose. 'I know all about that, but I shan't tell unless the King
+gives me a free pardon and something fit to eat. Roast pork and onion
+stuffing, I think. And you can tell him so.'
+
+So the gaoler told the King. And the King gave the snub-nosed page the
+pardon and the pork, and then the page said:
+
+'He has a Charmed Life. I heard him tell the Princess so. And what is
+more, he gave it to her to keep. And she said she'd hide it in a safe
+place!'
+
+Then the King told the eldest lady-in-waiting to watch, and she did
+watch, and saw the Princess take Florizel's Charmed Life and hide it in
+a bunch of jasmine. So she took the jasmine and gave it to the King, and
+he burnt it. But the Princess had not left the Life in the jasmine.
+
+Then they tried to hang Florizel, because, of course, he had an ordinary
+life as well as a charmed one, and the King wished him to be without any
+life at all.
+
+Thousands of people crowded to see the presumptuous Lift-man hanged, and
+the execution lasted the whole morning, and seven brand new ropes were
+wasted one after the other, and they all left off being ropes and turned
+into long wreaths of jasmine, which broke into bits rather than hang
+such a handsome Lift-man.
+
+The King was furious. But he was not too furious to see that the
+Princess must have taken the Charmed Life out from the jasmine flowers,
+and put it somewhere else, when the eldest lady was not looking.
+
+And it turned out afterwards that the Princess had held Florizel's life
+in her hand all the time the execution was going on. The eldest
+lady-in-waiting was clever, but she was not so clever as the Princess.
+
+The next morning the eldest lady brought the Princess's silver mirror to
+the King.
+
+'The Charmed Life is in that, your Majesty,' she said. 'I saw the
+Princess put it in.'
+
+And so she had, but she had not seen the Princess take it out again
+almost directly afterwards.
+
+The King smashed the looking-glass, and gave orders that poor Florizel
+was to be drowned in the palace fishpond.
+
+So they tied big stones to his hands and feet and threw him in. And the
+stones changed to corks and held him up, and he swam to land, and when
+they arrested him as he landed they found that on each of the corks
+there was a beautiful painting of Candida's face, as she saw it every
+morning in her mirror.
+
+Now, the King and Queen of Bohemia, Florizel's father and mother, had
+gone to Margate for a fortnight's holiday.
+
+'We will have a thorough holiday,' said the King; 'we will forget the
+world, and not even look at a newspaper.'
+
+But on the third day they both got tired of forgetting the world, and
+each of them secretly bought a newspaper and read it on the beach, and
+each rushed back and met the other on the steps of the boarding-house
+where they were staying. And the Queen began to cry, and the King took
+her in his arms on the doorstep, to the horror of the other boarders,
+who were looking out of the windows at them; and then they rushed off to
+the railway station, leaving behind them their luggage and the
+astonished boarders, and took a special train to town. Because the King
+had read in his newspaper, and the Queen in hers, that the Lift-man was
+being executed every morning from nine to twelve; and though, so far,
+none of the executions had ended fatally, yet at any moment the Prince's
+Charmed Life might be taken, and then there would be an end of the daily
+executions--a very terrible end.
+
+Arrived at the capital, the poor Queen of Bohemia got into a hansom with
+the King, and they were driven to the palace. The palace-yard was
+crowded.
+
+'What is the matter?' the King of Bohemia asked.
+
+'It's that Lift-man,' said a bystander, with spectacles and a straw hat;
+'he has as many lives as a cat. They tried boiling oil this morning, and
+the oil turned into white-rose leaves, and the fire under it turned to
+a white-rose bush. And now the King has sent for Princess Candida, and
+is going to have it out with her. The whole thing has been most
+exciting.'
+
+'I should think so,' said the Lift-man's father.
+
+'Of course,' said the bystander in spectacles, 'everyone who has read
+any history knows that Lift-men don't have charmed lives. But our King
+never would learn history, so he doesn't see that of course the Lift-man
+is a Prince disguised. The question is, Will he find out in time? I
+can't think why the Lift-man doesn't own his Princishness, and have done
+with it.'
+
+'Perhaps he doesn't know it himself,' said the King of Bohemia.
+
+He gave his arm to his wife, and they managed to squeeze through to the
+great council hall, where the King of that country sat on his gold
+throne, surrounded by lords-in-waiting, judges in wigs, and other people
+in other things.
+
+Florizel was there loaded with chains, and standing in a very noble
+attitude at one corner of the throne steps. At the other stood the
+Princess, looking across at her lover with her dear gray eyes.
+
+'Now,' said the King, 'I am tired of diplomacy and tact, and the eldest
+lady-in-waiting is less of a Sherlock Holmes than I thought her, so let
+us be straightforward and honest. Have you got a Charmed Life?'
+
+'I haven't exactly got it,' said Florizel. 'My life is not my own now.'
+
+'Did he give it to you?' the King asked his daughter.
+
+'I cannot tell a lie, father,' said the Princess, just as though her
+name had been George Washington instead of Candida; 'he did give it to
+me.'
+
+'What have you done with it?'
+
+'I have hidden it in different places. I have saved it; he saved mine
+once.'
+
+'Where is it?' asked her father, 'as you so justly observe you cannot
+tell a lie.'
+
+'If I tell you,' said the Princess, 'will you give your Royal word that
+the execution you have ordered for this morning shall be really the
+last? You can destroy the object that I have hidden his Charmed Life in,
+and then you can destroy him. But you must promise me not to ask me to
+hide his Life in any new place, because I am tired of hide-and-seek.'
+
+All the judges and lords-in-waiting and people felt really sorry for
+the Princess, for they thought all these executions had turned her
+brain.
+
+'I give you my Royal word,' said the King upon his throne. 'I won't ask
+you to hide his Life any more. Indeed, I was against the practice from
+the first. Now, where have you hidden his Life?'
+
+'In my heart,' said the Princess, brave and clear, so that everyone
+heard her in the big hall. 'You can't take his Life without taking mine,
+and if you take mine you may as well take his, for he won't care to go
+on living without me.'
+
+She sprang across the throne steps to Florizel, and his fetters jangled
+as she threw her arms round him.
+
+'Dear me!' said the King, rubbing his nose with his sceptre; 'this is
+very awkward.'
+
+The Princess laughed happily.
+
+'Oh, my clever Princess,' whispered Florizel; 'you're as clever as
+you're dear, and as dear as you're beautiful.'
+
+There was a silence.
+
+'Well, really,' said the King, 'I don't quite see----'
+
+The father and mother of Florizel had wriggled and wormed their way
+through the crowd to a front place, and now the father spoke.
+
+'Your Majesty, allow me. Perhaps I can assist your decision.'
+
+'Oh, all right,' said the King upon his throne; 'go ahead. I'm struck
+all of a heap.'
+
+'You see before you,' said the King of Bohemia, 'one known to the world
+of science and of business as R. Bloomsbury, inventor and patenter of
+many mechanical novelties--among others the Patent Lightning Lift--now
+formed into a company of which I am the chairman. The young
+Lift-man--whose fetters are most clumsily designed, if you will pardon
+my saying so--is my son.'
+
+'Of course he's somebody's son,' said the King upon his throne.
+
+'Well, he happens to be mine, and I gather that you do not think him a
+good enough match for your daughter.'
+
+'Without wishing to hurt your feelings----' began Candida's father.
+
+'Exactly. Well, know, O King on your throne, and everyone else, that
+this young Lift-man is no other than Florizel, Prince of Bohemia. I am
+the King of Bohemia, and this is my Queen.'
+
+As he spoke he took his crown out of his pocket and put it on. His wife
+took off her bonnet and got her crown out of her reticule and put that
+on, and Florizel's crown was handed to the Princess, who fitted it on
+for him, because his hands were awkward with chains.
+
+'Your most convincing explanation alters everything,' said the King upon
+his throne, and he came down to meet the visitors. 'Bless you, my
+children! Strike off his chains, can't you? I hope there's no
+ill-feeling, Florizel,' he added, turning to the Prince; 'you see, an
+engineer is only an engineer, whereas a Prince is a Prince, be he never
+so disinherited. Will half an hour from now suit you for the wedding?'
+
+So they were married, and they still live very happily. They will live
+as long as is good for them, and when Candida dies Florizel will die
+too, because she still carries his Life in her heart.
+
+
+
+
+BILLY THE KING
+
+
+'Now, William,' said Billy King's great-uncle, 'you are old enough to
+earn your own living, so I shall find you a nice situation in an office,
+and you will not return to school.'
+
+The blood of Billy King ran cold in his veins. He looked out over the
+brown wire blinds into Claremont Square, Pentonville, which was where
+his uncle lived, and the tears came into his eyes; for, though his uncle
+thought he was old enough to earn his own living, he was still young
+enough to hate the idea of having to earn it in an office, where he
+would never do anything, or make anything, or see anything, but only add
+up dull figures from year's end to year's end.
+
+'I don't care,' said Billy to himself. 'I'll run away and get a
+situation on my own--something interesting. I wonder if I could learn
+how to be a pirate captain or a highwayman?'
+
+And next morning Billy got up very early, before anyone was about, and
+ran away.
+
+He ran till he was out of breath and then he walked, and he walked till
+he was out of patience, and then he ran again, and between walking and
+running he came at last plump up to the door of a shop. And over the
+shop there were big painted letters saying, 'Registry office for all
+sorts of persons out of employment.'
+
+'I'm out of employment, anyway,' said he. The window of the shop had big
+green-baize-shutter sort of things in them, with white cards fastened
+on to them with drawing-pins, and on the cards were written the kind of
+persons out of employment the registry office had got places for. And in
+the very first one he read there was his own name--King!
+
+'I've come to the right shop,' said Billy, and he read the card through.
+'Good general King wanted. Must be used to the business.'
+
+'That's not me, I'm afraid,' thought Billy, 'because whatever a general
+King's business is I can't be used to it till I've tried it.'
+
+The next was: 'Good steady King wanted. Must be quick, willing, and up
+to his work.'
+
+'I'm willing enough,' said Billy, 'and I'm quick enough--at any rate,
+at fives or footer--but I don't know what a steady King's work is.' So
+he looked at another card.
+
+'Wanted, respectable King to take entire charge of Parliament, and to
+assist in Cabinet Councils and Reform of the Army, to open Bazaars and
+Schools of Art, and make himself generally useful.'
+
+Billy shook his head.
+
+'I think that must be a very hard place,' said he.
+
+The next was: 'Competent Queen wanted; economical and good manager.'
+
+'Whatever else I am I'm not a Queen,' said Billy, and he was just
+turning sadly away, when he saw a little card stuck away in the
+right-hand top corner of the baize field.
+
+'Hard-working King wanted; no objection to one who has not been out
+before.'
+
+'I can but try,' said Billy, and he opened the door of the registry
+office and walked in.
+
+Inside there were several desks. At the first desk a lion with a pen
+behind its ear was dictating to a unicorn, who was writing in a series
+of Blue-books with his horn. Billy noticed that the horn had been
+sharpened to a nice point, like a lead pencil when the drawing-master
+does it for you as a favour.
+
+'I think you want a King?' said Billy timidly.
+
+'No, we don't,' said the lion, and it turned on him so quickly that
+Billy was sorry he had spoken. 'The situation is filled, young man, and
+we're thoroughly suited.'
+
+Billy was turning away, much dispirited, when the unicorn said: 'Try
+some of the others.'
+
+So he went on to the next desk, where a frog sat sadly. But it only
+wanted Presidents; and at the next desk an eagle told him that only
+Emperors were wanted, and those very seldom. It was not till he got to
+the very end of the long room that Billy found a desk where a fat pig in
+spectacles sat reading a cookery-book.
+
+'Do you want a King?' said Billy. 'I've not been out before.'
+
+'Then you're the King for us,' said the pig, shutting the cookery-book
+with a bang. 'Hard-working, I suppose, as the notice says?'
+
+'I think I should be,' said Billy, adding, honestly, 'especially if I
+liked the work.'
+
+The pig gave him a square of silver parchment and said, 'That's the
+address.'
+
+On the parchment was written:
+
+'Kingdom of Plurimiregia. Billy King, Respectable Monarch. Not been out
+before.'
+
+'You'd better go by post,' said the pig. 'The five o'clock post will
+do.'
+
+'But why--but how--where is it?' asked Billy.
+
+'I don't know where it is,' said the pig, 'but the Post-Office knows
+everything. As to how--why, you just tie a label round your neck and
+post yourself in the nearest letter-box. As to why, that's a silly
+question, really, your Majesty. Don't you know the Post-Office always
+takes charge of the Royal males?'
+
+Billy was just putting the address carefully away in what would have
+been his watch-pocket if he had had any relation in the world except a
+great-uncle, when the swing door opened gently and a little girl came
+in. She looked at the lion and unicorn and the other busy beasts behind
+their desks, and she did not seem to like the look of them. She looked
+up the long room and she saw Billy, and she came straight up to him and
+said:
+
+'Please I want a situation as Queen. It says in the window previous
+experience not required.'
+
+She was a very shabby little girl, with a clean, round, rosy face, and
+she looked as little like a Queen with previous experience as anybody
+could possibly have done.
+
+'I'm not the registry office, my good kid,' said Billy.
+
+And the pig said, 'Try the next desk.'
+
+Behind the next desk sat a lizard, but it was so large it was more like
+an alligator, only with a less unpleasant expression about the mouth.
+
+'Speak to him,' said the pig, as the lizard leaned forward on his front
+paws like a draper's assistant when he says, 'What's the next article?'
+
+'I don't like to,' said the little girl.
+
+'Nonsense, you little duffer!' said Billy kindly; 'he won't eat you.'
+
+'Are you sure?' said the little girl very earnestly.
+
+Then Billy said, 'Look here, I'm a King, and so I've got a situation.
+Are you a Queen?'
+
+'My name's Eliza Macqueen,' said the little girl. 'I suppose that's near
+enough.'
+
+'Well, then,' said Billy to the lizard, 'will she do?'
+
+'Perfectly, I should say,' replied the lizard, with a smile that did not
+become him very well. 'Here is the address.' He gave it to her; it read:
+
+'Kingdom of Allexanassa. Queen, not been out before; willing, obliging,
+and anxious to learn.'
+
+'Your kingdoms,' he added, 'are next door to each other.'
+
+'So we shall see each other often,' said Billy. 'Cheer up! We might
+travel together, perhaps.'
+
+'No,' said the pig; 'Queens go by railway. A Queen has to begin to get
+used to her train as soon as she can. Now, run along, do. My friend here
+will see her off.'
+
+'You're sure they won't eat me?' said Eliza--and Billy was certain they
+wouldn't, though he didn't know why. So he said, 'Good-bye. I hope
+you'll get on in your new place,' and off he went to buy a penny luggage
+label at the expensive stationer's three doors down the street on the
+right-hand side. And when he had addressed the label and tied it round
+his neck, he posted himself honourably at the General Post-Office. The
+rest of the letters in the box made a fairly comfortable bed, and Billy
+fell asleep. When he awoke he was being delivered by the early morning
+postman at the Houses of Parliament in the capital of Plurimiregia, and
+the Houses of Parliament were just being opened for the day. The air of
+Plurimiregia was clear and blue, very different from the air of
+Claremont Square, Pentonville. The hills and woods round the town looked
+soft and green, from the hill in the middle of the town where the
+Parliament Houses stood. The town itself was small and very pretty, like
+one of the towns in old illuminated books, and it had a great wall all
+round it, and orange trees growing on the wall. Billy wondered whether
+it was forbidden to pick the oranges.
+
+When Parliament was opened by the footman whose business it was, Billy
+said:
+
+'Please, I've come about the place----'
+
+'The King's or the cook's?' asked the footman.
+
+Billy was rather angry.
+
+'Now, do I look like a cook?' he said.
+
+'The question is, do you look like a King?' said the footman.
+
+'If I get the place you will be sorry for this,' said Billy.
+
+'If you get the place you won't keep it long' said the footman. 'It's
+not worth while being disagreeable; there's not time to do it properly
+in. Come along in.'
+
+Billy went along in, and the footman led him into the presence of the
+Prime Minister, who was sitting with straws in his hair, wringing his
+hands.
+
+[Illustration: '"Come by post, your Lordship," said the footman.'--Page
+255.]
+
+'Come by post, your lordship,' the footman said--'from London.'
+
+The Prime Minister left off wringing his hands, and held one of them out
+to Billy. 'You will suit!' he said. 'I'll engage you in a minute. But
+just pull the straws out of my hair first, will you? I only put them in
+because we hadn't been able to find a suitable King, and I find straws
+so useful in helping my brain to act in a crisis. Of course, once you're
+engaged for the situation, no one will ask you to do anything useful.'
+
+Billy pulled the straws out, and the Prime Minister said:
+
+'Are they all out? Thanks. Well, now you're engaged--six months on
+trial. You needn't do anything you don't want to. Now, your Majesty,
+breakfast is served at nine. Let me conduct you to the Royal
+apartments.'
+
+In ten minutes Billy had come out of a silver bath filled with scented
+water, and was putting on the grandest clothes he had ever seen in his
+life. Everything was of thick, soft, pussy silk, and his boots had gold
+heels with gold spurs on them.
+
+For the first time in his life it was with personal pleasure, and not
+from a sense of duty, that he brushed his hair and satisfied himself
+that none of his nails were in mourning. Then he went to breakfast,
+which was so fine that none but a French cook could have either cooked
+or described it. He was a little hungry--he had had nothing to eat since
+the bread and cheese at supper in Claremont Square the night before
+last.
+
+After breakfast he rode out on a white pony, a thing he might have lived
+in Claremont Square for ever without doing. And he found he rode very
+well. After the ride he went on the sea in a boat, and was surprised and
+delighted to find that he knew how to sail as well as how to steer. In
+the afternoon he was taken to a circus; and in the evening the whole
+Court played blind-man's buff. A most enchanting day!
+
+Next morning the breakfast was boiled underdone eggs and burnt herrings.
+The King was too polite to make remarks about his food, but he did feel
+a little disappointed.
+
+The Prime Minister was late for breakfast and came in looking hot and
+flurried, and a garland of straw was entwined in the Prime Ministerial
+hair.
+
+'Excuse my hair, sire,' he said. 'The cook left last night, but a new
+one comes at noon to-day. Meantime, I have done my best.'
+
+[Illustration: '"Excuse my hair, Sire," he said.'--Page 256.]
+
+Billy said it was all right, and he had had an excellent breakfast. The
+second day passed as happily as the first; the cook seemed to have
+arrived, for the breakfast was made up for by the lunch. And Billy had
+the pleasure of shooting at a target at two thousand yards with the
+Lee-Metford rifle which had arrived by the same post as himself, and
+hitting the bull's-eye every time.
+
+This is really a rare thing--even when you are a King. But Billy began
+to think it curious that he should never have found out before how
+clever he was, and when he took down a volume of Virgil and found that
+he could read it as easily as though it had been the 'Child's First
+Reading-Book,' he was really astonished. So Billy said to the Prime
+Minister:
+
+'How is it I know so many things without learning them?'
+
+'It's the rule here, sire,' said the Prime Minister. 'Kings are allowed
+to know everything without learning it.'
+
+Now, the next morning Billy woke very early, and got up and went out
+into the garden, and, turning a corner suddenly, he came upon a little
+person in a large white cap, with a large white apron on, in which she
+was gathering sweet pot-herbs, thyme, and basil, and mint, and savory,
+and sage, and marjoram. She stood up and dropped a curtsy.
+
+'Halloa!' said Billy the King; 'who are you?'
+
+'I'm the new cook,' said the person in the apron.
+
+Her big flapping cap hid her face, but Billy knew her voice.
+
+'Why,' said he, turning her face up with his hands under her chin,
+'you're Eliza!'
+
+And sure enough it was Eliza, but her round face looked very much
+cleverer and prettier than it had done when he saw it last.
+
+'Hush!' she said. 'Yes, I am. I got the place as Queen of Allexanassa,
+but it was all horribly grand, and such long trains, and the crown is
+awfully heavy. And yesterday morning I woke very early, and I thought
+I'd just put on my old frock--mother made it for me the very last thing
+before she was taken ill.'
+
+'Don't cry,' said Billy the King gently.
+
+'And I went out, and there was a man with a boat, and he didn't know I
+was the Queen, and I got him to take me for a row on the sea, and he
+told me some things.'
+
+'What sort of things?'
+
+'Why, about us, Billy. I suppose you're the same as I am now, and know
+everything without learning it. What's Allexanassa Greek for?'
+
+'Why, something like the Country of Changing Queens, isn't it?'
+
+'And what does Plurimiregia mean?'
+
+'That must mean the land of many Kings. Why?'
+
+'Because that's what it is. They're always changing their Kings and
+Queens here, for a most horrid and frightening reason, Billy. They get
+them from a registry office a long way off so that they shouldn't know.
+Billy, there's a dreadful dragon, and he comes once a month to be fed.
+And they feed him with Kings and Queens! That's why we know everything
+without learning. Because there's no time to learn in. And the dragon
+has two heads, Billy--a pig's head and a lizard's head--and the pig's
+head is to eat _you_ with and the lizard's head will eat _me_!'
+
+'So they brought us here for that,' said Billy--'mean, cruel, cowardly
+brutes!'
+
+'Mother always said you could never tell what a situation was like until
+you tried it,' said Eliza. 'But what are we to do? The dragon comes
+to-morrow. When I heard that I asked where your kingdom was, and the
+boatman showed me, and I made him land me here. So Allexanassa hasn't
+got a Queen now, but Plurimiregia has got us both.'
+
+Billy rumpled his hair with his hands.
+
+'Oh, my cats alive!' he said, 'we must do something; but I'll tell you
+what it is, Eliza. You're no end of a brick to come and tell me. You
+might have got off all by yourself, and left me to the pig's head.'
+
+'No, I mightn't,' said Eliza sharply. 'I know everything that people can
+learn, the same as you, and that includes right and wrong. So you see I
+_mightn't_.'
+
+'That's true! I wonder whether our being clever would help us? Let's
+take a boat and steer straight out, and take our chance. I can sail and
+steer beautifully.'
+
+'So can I,' said Eliza disdainfully; 'but, you see, it's too late for
+that. Twenty-four hours before the beast comes the sea-water runs away,
+and great waves of thick treacle come sweeping round the kingdoms. No
+boat can live in such a sea.'
+
+'Well, but how does the dragon get here? Is he on the island?'
+
+'No,' said Eliza, squeezing up handfuls of herbs in her agitation till
+the scent quite overpowered the scent of the honeysuckle. 'No; he comes
+out of the sea. But he is very hot inside, and he melts the treacle so
+that it gets quite thin, like when it runs out of a treacle-pudding, and
+so he can swim in it, and he comes along to the quay, and is fed--with
+_Us_.'
+
+Billy shuddered.
+
+'I wish we were back in Claremont Square,' said he.
+
+'So do I, I'm sure,' said Eliza. 'Though I don't know where it is, nor
+yet want to know.'
+
+'Hush!' said Billy suddenly. 'I hear a rustling. It's the Prime
+Minister, and I can hear he's got straws in his hair again, most likely
+because you're disappeared, and he thinks he will have to cook the
+breakfast. Meet me beside the lighthouse at four this afternoon. Hide in
+this summer-house and don't come out till the coast's clear.'
+
+He ran out and took the Prime Minister's arm.
+
+'What is the straw for now?'
+
+'Merely a bad habit,' said the Prime Minister wearily.
+
+Then Billy suddenly saw, and he said:
+
+'You're a beastly mean, cowardly sneak, and you feel it; that's what the
+straws are about!'
+
+'Your Majesty!' said the Prime Minister feebly.
+
+'Yes,' said Billy firmly; 'you know you are. Now, I know all the laws of
+Plurimiregia, and I'm going to abdicate this morning, and the next in
+rank has to be King if he can't engage a fresh one. You're next in rank
+to me, so by the time the dragon comes you'll be the King. I'll attend
+your Coronation.'
+
+The Prime Minister gasped, 'How did you find out?' and turned the colour
+of unripe peaches.
+
+'That's tellings,' said Billy. 'If you hadn't all been such sneaks, I
+expect heaps of your Kings had sense enough to have got rid of the
+dragon for you. Only I suppose you've never told them in time. Now, look
+here. I don't want you to do anything except keep your mouth shut, and
+let there be a boat, and no boatman, on the beach under the lighthouse
+at four o'clock.'
+
+'But the sea's all treacle.'
+
+[Illustration: '"Speak to the dragon as soon as it arrives."' Page 263.]
+
+'I said on the beach, not on the sea, my good straw merchant. And what I
+say you've jolly well got to do. You must be there--and no one else.
+If you tell a soul I'll abdicate, and where will you be then?'
+
+'I don't know,' said the wretched Prime Minister, stooping to gather
+some more straws from the strawberry bed.
+
+'But I do,' said Billy. 'Now for breakfast.'
+
+Before four o'clock that afternoon the Prime Minister's head was a
+perfect bird's-nest of straws. But he met Billy at the appointed place,
+and there was a boat--and also Eliza. Billy carried his Lee-Metford.
+
+A wind blew from the shore, and the straws in the Prime Minister's hair
+rustled like a barley-field in August.
+
+'Now,' said Billy the King, 'my Royal Majesty commands you to speak to
+the dragon as soon as it arrives, and to say that your King has
+abdicated----'
+
+'But he hasn't,' said the Prime Minister in tears.
+
+'But he _does now_--so you won't be telling a lie. I abdicate. But I
+give you my word of honour I'll turn King again as soon as I've tried my
+little plan. I shall be quite in time to meet my fate--and the dragon.
+Say "The King has abdicated. You'd better just look in at Allexanassa
+and get the Queen, and when you call again I'll have a nice fat King
+all ready for you."'
+
+The straws trembled, and Eliza sobbed.
+
+Billy went on; and he had never felt so truly regal as now, when he was
+preparing to risk his life in order to save his subjects from the
+monthly temptation to be mean and cowardly and sneakish. I think myself
+it was good of Billy. He might just have abdicated and let things slide.
+Some boys would have.
+
+The sea of greeny-black treacle heaved and swelled sulkily against the
+beach. The Prime Minister said:
+
+'Very well; I'll do it. But I'd sooner die than see my King false to his
+word.'
+
+'You won't have to choose between the two,' said Billy, very pale, but
+determined. 'Your King's not a hound, like--like some-people.'
+
+And then, far away on the very edge of the green treacly sea, they saw a
+squirming and a squelching and clouds of steam, and all sorts of
+exciting and unpleasant things happening very suddenly and all together.
+
+The Prime Minister covered his head with dry seaweed and said:
+
+'That's Him.'
+
+'That's _He_,' corrected Eliza the Queen and Billy the King in one
+breath.
+
+But the Prime Minister was long past any proper pride in his grammar.
+
+And then, cutting its way through the thick, sticky waves of the treacle
+sea, came the hot dragon, melting a way for himself as he came. And he
+got nearer and nearer and bigger and bigger, and at last he came close
+to the beach, snouting and snorting, and opened two great mouths in an
+expecting, hungry sort of way; and when he found he was not being fed
+the expression of the mouths changed to an angry and surprised question.
+And one mouth was a pig's mouth and one was a lizard's.
+
+Billy the King borrowed a pin from Eliza the Queen to stick into the
+Prime Minister, who was by this time nearly buried in the seaweed which
+he had been trying to arrange in his hair.
+
+'Speak up, silly!' said His Majesty.
+
+The Prime Minister spoke up.
+
+'Please, sir,' he said to the two-headed dragon, 'our King has
+abdicated, so we've nothing for you just now, but if you could just run
+over to Allexanassa and pick up their Queen, we'll have a nice fat King
+ready for you if you'll call on your way home.'
+
+The Prime Minister shuddered as he spoke. He happened to be very fat.
+
+The dragon did not say a word. He nodded with both his heads and grunted
+with both his mouths, and turned his one tail and swam away along the
+track of thin, warm treacle which he had made in swimming across the
+sea.
+
+Quick as thought, Billy the King signed to the Prime Minister and to
+Eliza, and they launched the boat. Billy sprang on board and pushed off,
+and it was not till the boat was a dozen yards from shore that he turned
+to wave a farewell to Eliza and the Prime Minister. The latter was
+indeed still on the beach, searching hopefully among the drifts and
+weeds for more straws, to mark his sense of the constitutional crisis,
+but Eliza had disappeared.
+
+'Oh dear, oh dear,' said Billy the King; 'surely that brute of a Prime
+Minister can't have killed her right off, so as to have her ready for
+the dragon when he comes back. Oh, my dear little Eliza!'
+
+'I'm here,' said a thick voice.
+
+And, sure enough, there was Eliza, holding on to the gunwale of the
+boat and swimming heavily in the warm treacle. Nearly choked with it,
+too, for she had been under more than once.
+
+Billy hastened to haul her aboard, and, though she was quite brown and
+very, very sticky, the moment she was safe in the boat he threw his arms
+round her and said:
+
+'Dear, darling Eliza, you're the dearest, bravest girl in the world. If
+we ever get out of this you'll marry me, won't you? There's no one in
+the world like you. Say you will.'
+
+'Of course I will,' said Eliza, still spluttering through the treacle.
+'There's no one in the world like you, either.'
+
+'Right! Then, if that's so, you steer and I'll sail, and we'll get the
+better of the beast yet,' said Billy.
+
+And he set the sail, and Eliza steered as well as she could in her
+treacly state.
+
+About the middle of the channel they caught up with the dragon. Billy
+took up his Lee-Metford and fired its eight bullets straight into the
+dragon's side. You have no idea how the fire spurted out through the
+bullet-holes. But the wind from shore had caught the sails, and the boat
+was now going very much faster than the dragon, who found the
+bullet-holes annoying, and had slowed up to see what was the matter.
+
+'Good-bye, you dear, brave Eliza,' said Billy the King. '_You're_ all
+right, anyhow.'
+
+And, holding his reloaded Lee-Metford rifle high over his head, he
+plunged into the treacly sea and swam back towards the dragon. It is
+very difficult to shoot straight when you are swimming, especially in
+nearly boiling treacle, but His Majesty King Billy managed to do it. He
+sent his eight bullets straight into the dragon's heads, and the huge
+monster writhed and wriggled and squirmed and squawked, all over the sea
+from end to end, till at last it floated lifeless on the surface of the
+clear, warm treacle, and stretched its wicked paws out, and shut its
+wicked eyes, all four of them, and died. The lizard's eyes shut last.
+
+Then Billy began to swim for dear life towards the shore of
+Plurimiregia, and the treacle was so hot that if he hadn't been a King
+he would have been boiled. But now that the dreadful dragon was cold in
+death there was nothing to keep the treacle sea thin and warm, and it
+began to thicken so fast that swimming was very difficult indeed. If you
+don't understand this, you need only ask the attendants at your nearest
+swimming-baths to fill the baths with treacle instead of water, and you
+will very soon comprehend how it was that Billy reached the shore of his
+kingdom quite exhausted and almost speechless.
+
+The Prime Minister was there. He had fetched a whole truss of straw when
+he thought Billy's plan had failed, and that the dragon would eat him as
+the next in rank, and he wanted to do the thing thoroughly; and when he
+warmly embraced the treacly King, Billy became so covered with straws
+that he hardly knew himself. He pulled himself together, however, enough
+to withdraw his resignation, and then looked out over the sea. In
+mid-channel lay the dead dragon, and far in the distance he could see
+the white sails of the boat nearing the shores of Allexanassa.
+
+'And what are we to do now?' asked the Prime Minister.
+
+'Have a bath,' said the King. 'The dragon's dead, and I'll fetch Eliza
+in the morning. They won't hurt her over there now the dragon's killed.'
+
+'_They_ won't hurt her,' said the Prime Minister. 'It's the treacle.
+Allexanassa is an island. The dragon brought the treacle up by his
+enchantments, and now there is no one to take it away again. You'll
+never get a boat to live in a sea like that--never.'
+
+'Won't I?' said Billy. 'I'm cleverer than you.'
+
+But, all the same, he didn't quite see his way to sailing a boat in that
+sea, and with a sad and aching heart he went back to the palace to the
+silver bath. The treacle and straws took hours to wash off, and after
+that he was so tired that he did not want any supper, which was just as
+well, because there was no one to cook it. Tired as he was, Billy slept
+very badly. He woke up again and again to wonder what had become of his
+brave little friend, and to wish that he could have done something to
+prevent her being carried away in that boat; but, think as he might, he
+failed to see that he could have done any differently. And his heart
+sank, for, in spite of his bold words to the Prime Minister, he had no
+more idea than you have how to cross the sea of thick treacle that lay
+between his kingdom and Allexanassa. He invented steamships with red-hot
+screws and paddle-wheels all through his dreams, and when he got up in
+the morning he looked out of his window on the dark sea and longed for a
+good, gray, foamy, salt, tumbling sea like we have at home in
+England, no matter how high the waves and the winds might be. But the
+wind had fallen, and the dark brown sea looked strangely calm.
+
+[Illustration: 'The two skated into each other's arms.'--Page 271.]
+
+Hastily snatching a dozen peaches out of the palace garden by way of
+breakfast, Billy the King hurried to the beach by the lighthouse. No
+heaving of the treacle sea broke the smooth line of it against the
+beach. Billy looked--looked again, swallowed the last peach, stone and
+all, and tore back to the town.
+
+He rushed into the chief ironmonger's and bought a pair of skates and a
+gimlet. In less time than I can write it he had scurried back to the
+beach, bored holes in his gold heels, fastened on the skates, and was
+skating away over the brown sea towards Allexanassa. For the treacle,
+heated to boiling-point by the passing of the dragon, had now grown
+cold, and, of course, it was now _toffee_! Far off, Eliza had had the
+same idea as soon as she saw the toffee, and, of course, as Queen of
+Allexanassa, she could skate beautifully. So the two skated into each
+other's arms somewhere near the middle of the channel between the two
+islands.
+
+They stood telling each other how happy they were for a few moments, or
+it may have been a few hours; and when they turned to go back to
+Plurimiregia they found that the toffee-ice of the treacle sea was black
+with crowds of skaters--for the Allexanassians and the Plurimiregians
+had found out the wonderful truth, and were hurrying across to pay
+visits to their friends and relations in the opposite islands. Near the
+shore the toffee was hidden by troops of children, who had borrowed the
+family hammers and were chipping into the solid toffee and eating the
+flakes of it as they splintered off.
+
+People were pointing out to each other the spot where the dragon had
+sunk, and when they perceived Billy the King and Eliza the Queen they
+sent up a shout that you could have heard miles out at sea--if there had
+been any sea--which, of course, there wasn't. The Prime Minister had
+lost no time in issuing a proclamation setting forth Billy's splendid
+conduct in ridding the country of the dragon, and all the populace were
+in a frenzy of gratitude and loyalty.
+
+Billy turned on a little tap inside his head by some means which I
+cannot describe to you, and a bright flood of cleverness poured through
+his brain.
+
+'After all,' he said to Eliza, 'they were going to give us to the
+dragon to save their own lives. It's bad, I know. But I don't know
+that's it's worse than people who let other people die of lead-poisoning
+because they want a particular glaze on their dinner-plates, or let
+people die of phosphorus-poisoning so that they may get matches at six
+boxes a penny. We're as well off here as in England.'
+
+'Yes,' said Eliza.
+
+So they agreed to stay and go on being King and Queen, on condition that
+the Prime Minister consented to give up straws altogether, even in
+moments of crisis.
+
+'I will, your Majesties,' he said, adding, with a polite bow, 'I shall
+not need a single straw under your Majesty's able kingship.'
+
+And all the people cheered like mad.
+
+Eliza and Billy were married in due course. The kingdoms are now
+extremely happy. Both are governed by Billy, who is a very good King
+because he knows so much. Eliza got him to change the law about Queens
+knowing everything, because she wanted her husband to be cleverer than
+she was. But Billy didn't want to make laws to turn his Eliza stupid, so
+he just changed the law--only a little bit--so that the King knows
+everything a man ought to know, and the Queen knows everything that
+ought to be known by a woman. So that's all right.
+
+Exploring expeditions were fitted out to find the edge of the toffee. It
+was found to stand up in cliffs two hundred feet high, overhanging the
+real, live, salt-watery sea. The King had ships built at once to sail on
+the real sea and carry merchandise to other lands. And so Allexanassa
+and Plurimiregia grew richer and richer every day. The merchandise, of
+course, is toffee, and half the men in the kingdoms work in the great
+toffee-mines. All the toffee you buy in shops comes from there. And the
+reason why some of the cheaper kinds you buy are so gritty is, I need
+hardly say, because the toffee-miners will not remember, before they go
+down into the mines, to wipe their muddy boots on the doormats provided
+by Billy the King, with the Royal Arms in seven colours on the middle of
+each mat.
+
+
+
+
+THE PRINCESS AND THE CAT
+
+
+The day when everything began to happen to the Princess began just like
+all her ordinary days. The sun was shining, the birds were singing, and
+the Princess jumped out of bed and ran into the nursery to let the mice
+out of the traps in the nursery cupboard. The traps were set every night
+with a little bit of cheese in each, and every morning nurse found that
+not a single trap had caught a single mouse. This was because the
+Princess always let them go. No one knew this except the Princess and,
+of course, the mice themselves. And the mice never forgot it.
+
+Then came bath and breakfast, and then the Princess ran to the open
+window and threw out the crumbs to the birds that flew down fluttering
+and chirping into the marble terrace. Before lessons began she had an
+hour for playing in the garden. But she never began to play till she had
+been round to see if any rabbits or moles were caught in the traps the
+palace gardeners set. The gardeners were lazy, and seldom got to work
+before half-past eight, so she always had plenty of time for this.
+
+Then came lessons with dear old Professor Ouatidontnoisuntwuthnoing, and
+then more play, and dinner, and needlework, and play again.
+
+And now it was teatime.
+
+'Eat up your bread-and-butter, your Highness,' said nurse, 'and then you
+shall have some nice plummy cake.'
+
+'I don't feel plum-cakey at all to-day, somehow,' said the Princess. 'I
+feel just exactly as if something was going to happen.'
+
+'Something's always happening,' said nurse.
+
+'Ah! but I mean something horrid,' said the Princess. 'I expect uncle's
+going to make some nasty new law about me. Last time it was: "The
+Princess is only to wear a white frock on the first Sunday in the
+month." He said it was economy, but I know it was only spite.'
+
+'You mustn't say that, dear,' said nurse. 'You know your rosy and bluey
+frocks are just as pretty as the white;' but in her heart she agreed
+with the Princess Everilda.
+
+The Princess's father and mother had died when she was quite little,
+and her uncle was Regent. Now, you will have noticed that there is
+something about uncles which makes it impossible for them to be good in
+fairy stories. So of course this uncle was bad, as bad as he could be,
+and everyone hated him.
+
+In fact, though it was now, as I have said, everybody's teatime, nobody
+was making any tea: instead they were making a revolution. And just as
+the Princess was looking at the half-moon-shaped hole left by her first
+bite into her first piece of bread-and-butter, the good Professor burst
+into the nursery with his great gray wig all on one side, crying out in
+a very loud and very choky voice:
+
+'The revolution! It's come at last. I _knew_ the people would never
+stand that last tax on soap.'
+
+'The Princess!' said nurse, turning very pale.
+
+'Yes, I know,' said the Professor. 'There's a boat on the canal, blue
+sails with gold letters "P.P."--Pupil of the Professor. It's waiting.
+You go down there at once. I'll take the Princess out down the back
+stairs.'
+
+He caught the Princess by her pink bread-and-buttery hand, and dragged
+her away.
+
+'Hurry, my dear,' he panted; 'it's as much as your life is worth to
+delay a minute.'
+
+But he himself delayed quite three minutes, and that was one minute too
+long. He had just run into the palace library for the manuscript of his
+life's work, 'Everything Easily Explained,' when the revolutionary crowd
+burst in, shouting 'Liberty and Soap!' and caught him. They did not see
+the Princess Everilda, because he had just time, when he heard them
+coming, to throw a red and green crochet antimacassar over her, and to
+hide her behind an armchair.
+
+'When they've taken me away, go down the back stairs, and try to find
+the boat,' he whispered, just before they came and took him away.
+
+And then Everilda was left alone. When everything was quiet, she said to
+herself: 'Now, you mustn't cry; you must do as you're told.' And she
+went down the palace back-stairs, and out through the palace kitchen
+into the street.
+
+She had never set foot in the streets before, but she had been driven
+through them in a coach with four white horses, and she knew the way to
+the canal.
+
+The canal boat with the blue sails was waiting, and she would have got
+to it safely enough, but she heard a rattling sound, and when she
+looked she saw two boys tying an old rusty kettle to a cat's tail.
+
+'You horrid boys!' she said; 'let poor pussy alone.'
+
+'Not us,' said the boys.
+
+Everilda instantly slapped them both, and they were so surprised that
+they let the cat go. It scuttled and scurried off, and so did the
+Princess. The boys threw stones after her and also after the cat, but
+fortunately they were both very bad shots and nobody was hit.
+
+Even then the Princess would have got safely away, but she saw a boy
+sitting on a doorstep crying. So she stopped to ask what was the matter.
+
+'I'm hungry,' said the boy, 'and father and mother are dead, and my
+uncle beat me, so I'm running away----'
+
+'Oh,' said the Princess, 'so am I. What fun! And I've got a horrid
+uncle, too. You come with me, and we'll find my nurse. _She's_ running
+away, too. Make haste, or it'll be too late.'
+
+But when they got to the corner, it _was_ too late.
+
+The revolutionary crowd caught them; they shouted 'Liberty and Soap!'
+and they sent the boy to the workhouse, and they put the Princess in
+prison; and a good many of them wanted to cut off her pretty little head
+then and there, because they thought she would be sure to grow up horrid
+like her uncle the Regent.
+
+But all the people who had ever been inside the palace said what a nice
+little girl the Princess really was, and wouldn't hear of cutting off
+her darling head. So at last it was decided to get rid of her by
+enchantment, and the Head Magician to the Provisional Revolutionary
+Government was sent for.
+
+'Certainly, citizens,' he said, 'I'll put her in a tower on the Forlorn
+Island, in the middle of the Perilous Sea--a nice strong tower, with
+only one way out.'
+
+'That's one too many. There's not to be any way out,' said the people.
+
+'Well, there's a way out of everything, you know,' said the Magician
+timidly--he was trembling for his own head--'but it's fifty thousand
+millions to one against her ever finding it.'
+
+So they had to be content with that, and they fetched Everilda out of
+her prison; and the Magician took her hand and called his carriage,
+which was an invention of his own--half dragon, and half motor-car, and
+half flying-machine--so that it was a carriage and a half, and came when
+it was called, tame as any pet dog.
+
+He lifted Everilda in, and said 'Gee up!' to his patent carriage, and
+the intelligent creature geed up right into the air and flew away. The
+Princess shut her eyes tight, and tried not to scream. She succeeded.
+
+When the Magician's carriage got to the place where it knew it ought to
+stop, it did stop, and tumbled Everilda out on to a hard floor, and went
+back to its master, who patted it, and gave it a good feed of oil, and
+fire, and water, and petroleum spirit.
+
+The Princess opened her eyes as the sound of the rattling dragon wings
+died away. She was alone--quite alone. 'I won't stay here,' said
+Everilda; 'I'll run away again.'
+
+She ran to the edge of the tower and looked down. The tower was in the
+middle of a garden, and the garden was in the middle of a wood, and the
+wood was in the middle of a field, and after the field there was nothing
+more at all except steep cliffs and the great rolling, raging waves of
+the Perilous Sea.
+
+'There's no way to run away by,' she said; and then she remembered that
+even if she ran away, there was now nowhere to run to, because the
+people had taken her palace away from her, and the palace was the only
+home she had ever had--and where her nurse was goodness only knew.
+
+'So I suppose I've got to live here till someone fetches me,' she said,
+and stopped crying, like a brave King's daughter as she was.
+
+'I'll explore,' said Everilda all alone; 'that will be fun.' She said it
+bravely, and really it was more fun than she expected. The tower had
+only one room on each floor. The top floor was Everilda's bedroom; she
+knew that by her gold-backed brushes and things with 'E. P.' on them
+that lay on the toilet-table. The next floor was a sitting-room, and the
+next a dining-room, and the last of all was a kitchen, with rows of
+bright pots and pans, and everything that a cook can possibly want.
+
+'Now I can play at cooking,' said the Princess. 'I've always wanted to
+do that. If only there was something to cook!'
+
+She looked in the cupboards, and there were lots of canisters and jars,
+with rice, and flour, and beans, and peas, and lentils, and macaroni,
+and currants, and raisins, and candied peel, and sugar, and sago, and
+cinnamon. She ate a whole lump of candied citron, and enjoyed it very
+much.
+
+'I shan't starve, anyway,' she said. 'But oh! of course, I shall soon
+eat up all these things, and then----'
+
+In her agitation she dropped the jar; it did not break, but all the
+candied peel rolled away into corners and under tables. Yet when she
+picked the jar up it was as full as ever.
+
+'Oh, hooray!' cried Everilda, who had once heard a sentry use that low
+expression; 'of course it's a magic tower, and everything is magic in
+it. The jars will always be full.'
+
+The fire was laid, so she lighted it and boiled some rice, but it stuck
+to the pot and got burned. You know how nasty burned rice is? and the
+macaroni she tried to cook would not get soft. So she went out into the
+garden, and had a very much nicer dinner than she could ever have
+cooked. Instead of meat she had apples, and instead of vegetables she
+had plums, and she had peaches instead of pudding.
+
+There were rows and rows of beautiful books in the sitting-room, and she
+read a little, and wrote a long letter to nurse, in case anyone ever
+came who knew nurse's address and would post it for her. And then she
+had a nectarine-and-mulberry tea.
+
+By this time the sun was sinking all red and splendid beyond the dark
+waters of the Perilous Sea, and Everilda sat down on the window seat to
+watch it.
+
+I shall not tell you whether she cried at all then. Perhaps you would
+have cried just a little if you had been in her place.
+
+'Oh dear! oh dear! oh dear!' she said, sniffing slightly. (Perhaps she
+had a cold.) 'There's nobody to tuck me up in bed--nobody at all.'
+
+And just as she said it something fat and furry flew between her and the
+sunset. It hovered clumsily a moment, and then swooped in at the window.
+
+'Oh!' cried the Princess, very much frightened indeed.
+
+'Don't you know me?' said the stout furry creature, folding its wings.
+'I'm the cat you saved from the indignity of a rusty kettle in
+connection with my honourable tail.'
+
+'But that cat hadn't got wings,' said Everilda, 'and you're much bigger
+than it, and it couldn't talk.'
+
+'How do you know it couldn't talk,' said the Cat; 'did you ask it?'
+
+'No,' said the Princess.
+
+'Well, then!' said the Cat 'And as for wings, I needn't wear them if
+you'd rather I didn't.'
+
+The Cat took off her wings, rolled them neatly up, like your father
+rolls his umbrella, tied them round with a piece of string, and put them
+in the left-hand corner drawer in the bureau.
+
+'That's better,' said Everilda.
+
+'And as for size,' said the Cat, 'if I stayed ordinary cat-size I
+shouldn't be any use to you. And I've come to be cook, companion,
+housemaid, nurse, professor, and everything else, so----'
+
+'Oh, don't,' said the Princess--'_don't_ get any bigger.'
+
+For while she was speaking the Cat had been growing steadily, and she
+was now about the size of a large leopard.
+
+'Certainly not,' said the Cat obligingly; 'I'll stop at once.'
+
+'I suppose,' said the Princess timidly, 'that you're magic?'
+
+'Of course,' said the Cat; 'everything is, here. Don't you be afraid of
+me, now! Come along, my pet, time for bed.'
+
+Everilda umped, for the voice was the voice of her nurse; but it was
+also the voice of the Cat.
+
+'Oh!' cried the Princess, throwing her arms round the cat's large furry
+neck, 'I'm not afraid of _any_ thing when you speak like that.'
+
+So, after all, she had someone to tuck her up in bed. The Cat did it
+with large, soft, furry, clever paws, and in two minutes Everilda was
+fast asleep.
+
+And now began the long, lonely, but all the same quite happy time which
+the Princess and the Cat spent together on the Forlorn Island.
+
+Everilda had lessons with the Cat--and then it was the Professor's voice
+that the Cat spoke with; and the two did the neat little housework of
+the tower together--and then the Cat's voice was like the voices of the
+palace housemaids. And they did the cooking and then the Cat's voice was
+the cook's voice. And they played games together--and then the voice of
+the Cat was like the voices of all sorts of merry children. It was
+impossible to be dull with a companion who changed so often.
+
+'But who are you _really_?' the Princess used to ask.
+
+And the Cat always answered:
+
+'I give it up! Ask another!' as if the Princess had been playing at
+riddles.
+
+'How is it our garden is always so tidy and full of nice fruit and
+vegetables?' the Princess asked once, when they had been on the island
+about a year.
+
+'Oh,' said the Cat, 'didn't you know? The moles you used to let out of
+the traps do the digging, and the birds you used to feed bring the seeds
+in their little beaks, and the mice you used to save from the palace
+mouse-traps do the weeding and raking with their sharp little teeth, and
+their fine, neat, needly claws.'
+
+'But how did they get here?' asked the Princess.
+
+'The usual way--swimming and flying,' said the Cat.
+
+'But aren't the mice afraid of _you_?'
+
+'Of me?' The great Cat drew herself up to her full height. 'Anyone would
+think, to hear you, that I was a _common_ cat.' And she was really cross
+for nearly an hour.
+
+That was the only approach to a quarrel that the two ever had.
+
+Sometimes, at first, the Princess used to say:
+
+'How long am I to stay here, pussy-nurse?'
+
+And the Cat always said in nurse's voice:
+
+'Till you're grown up, my dear.'
+
+And the years went by, and each year found the Princess more good, and
+clever, and beautiful. And at last she was quite grown up.
+
+'Now,' said the Cat briskly, 'we must get to work. There's a Prince in a
+kingdom a long way off, and he's the only person who can get you off
+this island.'
+
+'Does he know?' asked Everilda.
+
+'He knows about _you_, but he doesn't know that he's the person to find
+you, and he doesn't know where you are. So now every night I must fly
+away and whisper about you in his ear. He'll think it's dreams, but he
+believes in dreams; and he'll come in a grand ship with masts of gold
+and sails of silk, and carry my Pretty away and make a Queen of her.'
+
+'Shall I like that, pussy-nurse, do you think?' asked the Princess.
+
+And the Cat replied:
+
+'Yes, very much indeed. But you wouldn't like it if it were any other
+King than this one, so it's just as well that it's quite impossible for
+it to _be_ any other.'
+
+'How will he come?' asked the Princess.
+
+'Don't I tell you? In a ship, of course,' said the Cat.
+
+'Aren't the rocks dangerous?' asked the Princess.
+
+'Oh, very,' the Cat answered.
+
+'Oh,' said the Princess, and grew silent and thoughtful.
+
+That night the Cat got out its rolled-up wings, and unrolled them, and
+brushed them, and fitted them on; then she lighted a large lamp and set
+it in the window that looked out on the Perilous Sea.
+
+'That's the beacon to guide the King to you,' she said.
+
+'Won't it guide other ships here?' asked the Princess, 'with perhaps
+the wrong Kings on board--the ones I shouldn't like being Queen with?'
+
+'Very likely,' said the Cat; 'but it doesn't matter: they'd only be
+wrecked. Serve them right, coming after Princesses that don't want
+them.'
+
+'Oh,' said Everilda.
+
+The Cat spread her wings, and after one or two trial flights round the
+tower, she spread them very wide indeed, and flew away across the black
+Perilous Sea, towards a little half moon that was standing on its head
+to show sailors that there would be foul weather.
+
+The Princess leaned her elbows on the window-sill and looked out over
+the sea. Down below in the garden she could hear the kind moles digging
+industriously, and the good little mice weeding and raking with their
+sharp teeth and their fine needly claws. And far away against the
+low-hanging moon she saw the sails and masts of a ship.
+
+'Oh,' she cried, 'I _can't_! It's sure not to be _his_ ship. It mustn't
+be wrecked.'
+
+And she turned the lamp out. And then she cried a little, because
+perhaps after all it might be _his_ ship, and he would pass by and never
+know.
+
+Next night the Cat went out on another flying excursion, leaving the
+lamp lighted. And again the Princess could not bear to go to bed leaving
+a lamp burning that might lure honest Kings and brave mariners to
+shipwreck, so she put out the lamp and cried a little. And this happened
+for many, many, many nights.
+
+When the Cat swept the room of a morning she used to wonder where all
+the pearls came from that she found lying all about the floor. But it
+was a magic place, and one soon ceased to wonder much about anything.
+She never guessed that the pearls were the tears the Princess shed when
+she had put out the lamp, and seen ship after ship that perhaps carried
+her own King go sailing safely and ignorantly by, no one on board
+guessing that on that rock was a pretty, dear Princess waiting to be
+rescued--_the_ Princess, the only Princess that that King would be happy
+and glad to have for his Queen.
+
+And the years went on and on. Every night the Cat lighted the lamp and
+flew away to whisper dreams into the ears of the only King who could
+rescue the Princess, and every night the Princess put out the lamp and
+cried in the dark. And every morning the Cat swept up a dustpan full of
+pearls that were Everilda's tears. And again and again the King would
+fit out a vessel and sail the seas, and look in vain for the bright
+light that he had dreamed should guide him to his Princess.
+
+The Cat was a good deal vexed; she could not understand how any King
+could be so stupid. She always stayed out all night. She used to go and
+see her friends after she had done whispering dreams to the King, and
+only got home in time to light the fire for breakfast, so she never knew
+how the Princess put out the lamp every night, and cried in the dark.
+
+The years went by and went by, and the Princess grew old and gray, for
+she had never had the heart to leave the lamp alight, for fear that some
+poor mariners who were not her King should be drawn by the lamp to those
+cruel rocks and wrecked on them, for of course it wouldn't and couldn't
+be the poor mariners' fault that they didn't happen to be the one and
+only King who could land safely on the Forlorn Island.
+
+And when the Princess was quite old, and the tear pearls that had been
+swept up by the Cat filled seven big chests in the back-kitchen, the
+Princess fell ill.
+
+'I think I am going to die,' she said to the Cat, 'and I am not really
+at all sorry except for you. I think you'll miss me. Tell me now--it's
+almost all over--who are you, really?'
+
+'I give it up,' said the Cat as usual. 'Ask another.'
+
+But the Princess asked nothing more. She lay on her bed in her white
+gown and waited for death, for she was very tired of being alive. Only
+she said:
+
+'Put out that lamp in the window; it hurts my eyes.'
+
+For even then she thought of the poor men whose ships might be wrecked
+just because they didn't happen to be the one and only King with whom
+she could be happy.
+
+So the Cat took the lamp away, but she did not put it out; she set it in
+the window of the parlour, and its light shone out over the black waters
+of the Perilous Sea.
+
+And that very night the one and only King--who in all these years had
+never ceased to follow the leading of the dreams the Cat whispered in
+his ear--came in the black darkness sailing over the Perilous Sea. And
+in the black darkness he saw at last the bright white light that his
+dreams had promised, and he knew that where the light was his Princess
+was, and his heart leaped up, and he bade the helmsmen steer for the
+light.
+
+And for the light they steered. And because he was the only possible
+King to mate that Princess, the helmsman found the only possible passage
+among the rocks, and the ship anchored safely in a little quiet creek,
+and the King landed and went up to the door of the tower and knocked.
+
+'Who's there?' said the Cat.
+
+'Me,' said the King, just as you or I might have done.
+
+'You're late,' said the Cat. 'I'm afraid you've lost your chance.'
+
+'I took the first chance I got,' said the King. 'Let me in, and let me
+see her.'
+
+He had been so busy all these years trying to find the bright white
+light of his dreams that he had not noticed that his hair had gone gray
+long ago.
+
+So the Cat let him in, and led him up the winding stair to the room
+where the Princess, very quiet, lay on her white bed waiting for death
+to come, for she was very tired.
+
+The old King stumbled across the bar of moonlight on the floor, flung
+down a clanking wallet, and knelt by the bed in the deep shadow, saying:
+
+'Oh, my dear own Princess, I have come at last.'
+
+'Is it really you?' she said, and gave him her hands in the shadow. I
+hoped it was Death's foot-step I heard coming up the winding stair.'
+
+'Oh, did you hope for death,' he cried, 'while I was coming to you?'
+
+'You were long in coming,' said she, 'and I was very tired.'
+
+'My beautiful dear Princess,' he said, 'you shall rest in my arms till
+you are not tired any more.'
+
+'My beautiful King,' she said, 'I am not tired any more now.'
+
+And then the Cat came in with the lamp, and they looked in each other's
+eyes.
+
+Instead of the beautiful Princess of his dreams the King saw a white,
+withered woman whose piteous eyes met his in a look of longing love. The
+Princess saw a bent, white-haired man, but love was in his eyes.
+
+'_I_ don't mind.'
+
+'_I_ don't mind.'
+
+They both spoke together. And both thought they spoke the truth. But the
+truth was that both were horribly disappointed.
+
+'Yet, all the same,' said the King to himself, 'old and withered as she
+is, she is more to me than the youngest and loveliest of all other
+Princesses.'
+
+'I don't care if he _is_ gray,' said the Princess to herself; 'whatever
+he is, he's the only possible one.'
+
+'Here's a pretty kettle of fish!' said the Cat. 'Why on earth didn't you
+come before?'
+
+'I came as soon as I could,' said the King.
+
+The Cat, walking about the room in an agitated way, kicked against the
+wallet the King had dropped.
+
+'What's this,' she said crossly, rubbing her toes, for the wallet was
+hard, and she had hurt herself more than a little.
+
+'Oh, that,' said the King--'that's just the steel bolts and hammers and
+things that my resolves to find the Princess turned into when I failed
+and never did find her. I never could bear to throw them away; I had a
+sort of feeling that they might be good for something, since they hurt
+me so much when they came to me. I thought perhaps I could batter down
+the doors of the Princess's tower with them.'
+
+'They're good for something better than that,' said the Cat joyously.
+
+She went away, and the two heard her hammering away below. Presently she
+staggered in with a great basket of white powder, and emptied it on the
+floor; then she went away for more.
+
+The King helped her with the next basketful, and the next, and the next,
+and the next, and the next, and the next, for there were seven of them,
+and the heap of white powder stood up in the room as high as the King's
+middle.
+
+'That's powder of pearls,' said the Cat proudly. 'Now, tell me, have you
+been a good King?'
+
+'I have tried to be,' said the white-haired King 'I was a workhouse
+boy, and then I was apprenticed to a magician, who taught me how to make
+people happy. There was a revolution just at the time when I was put
+into the workhouse, and they had a Republic. And I worked my way up till
+they made me President.'
+
+'What became of the King in that revolution?'
+
+'There wasn't a King, only a Regent. They had him taught a trade, and he
+worked for his living. It was the worst punishment they could invent for
+him. There was a Princess, too, but she was hidden by a magician. I saw
+her once when she was trying to run away. She asked me to run too--to
+her nurse----'
+
+Here his eyes met the Princess's.
+
+'Oh,' she said, 'that was you, was it?'
+
+'Oh,' said he, 'then that was you!'
+
+And they looked long and lovingly in each other's faded eyes.
+
+'Hurry up,' said the Cat impatiently; 'you were made President. And
+then----'
+
+'Oh, why, then,' said the King, 'they thought it wouldn't be any more
+dangerous or expensive to have a King than a President, and prettier at
+State shows--ermine, crown, and sceptre, and all that--prettier than
+frock-coat and spats. So I agreed.'
+
+'And do your people love you?' the Cat asked.
+
+'I don't know,' said the King simply; 'I love them----'
+
+As he spoke there came a flutter and flicker of many thousand wings at
+the closed casement. The Cat threw the window wide, and in swarmed a
+countless crowd of white pigeons.
+
+'These are the blessings of your people,' said the Cat.
+
+The wings fluttered and flickered and fanned the heap of pearl dust on
+the floor till it burst into flame, and the flame rose up high and white
+and clear.
+
+'Quick!' cried the Cat, 'walk through it. Lead her through.'
+
+The old King gave his hand to his poor faded love, and raised her from
+her couch, and together they passed through the clear fire made of her
+patience and self-sacrifice, his high resolve, and the blessings of his
+people. And they came out of that fire on the other side.
+
+'Oh, love, how beautiful you are!' cried the King.
+
+'Oh, my King, your face is the face of all my dreams!' cried the
+Princess.
+
+And they put their arms round each other and cried for joy, because now
+they were both young and beautiful again.
+
+The Cat cried for sympathy.
+
+'And now we shall live happy ever after,' said the Princess, putting her
+other arm round the Cat. 'Dear pussy-nurse, do tell me, now it's all
+over, who you really are.'
+
+'I give it up. Ask another,' said the Cat.
+
+But as she spoke she went herself through the fire, and on the other
+side came out--not one person, but eleven. She was, in fact, the
+Professor, the nurse, the palace butler, footman, housemaid,
+parlourmaid, between-maid, boots, scullion, boy in buttons, as well as
+the rescued cat--all rolled into one!
+
+'But we only used one part of ourselves at a time,' they all said with
+one voice, 'and I hope we were useful.'
+
+'You were a darling,' said the Princess--'darlings, I mean. But who
+turned you all into exactly the pussy-nurse I wanted?'
+
+'Oh, that was the Magician,' said all the voices in unison; 'he was your
+fairy-godfather, you know.'
+
+'What has become of him?' asked the Princess, clinging to her lover's
+arm.
+
+'He's been asleep all this time. It was the condition, the only way he
+got leave to work the good magic for all of us,' said the many voices
+that were one.
+
+'Let's go and wake him,' said the King.
+
+So they all went. And when they woke the Magician, who was sleeping
+quietly in his own private room in the palace where the Princess had
+once lived, he sneezed seven times for pure joy, and then called for
+Welsh rabbit and baked Spanish onions for supper.
+
+'For after all these years of starvation,' he said, 'I do really think I
+may for once take a liberty with my digestion.'
+
+So he had the supper he wanted; but the King and the Princess had roses
+and lilies and wedding-cake, because they were married that very
+evening.
+
+And when you have passed through exactly the sort of fire those two had
+passed through, you can never be old, or ugly, or unhappy again, so
+those two are happy, and beautiful, and young to this very hour.
+
+
+
+
+THE WHITE HORSE
+
+
+'Please, father,' Diggory said, 'I want to go out and seek my fortune.'
+
+'Seek your grandmother,' said his father, but not unkindly. He was
+smoking a pipe outside his cottage door, and he had a red-spotted
+handkerchief over his head because of the flies. There were flies
+then, just the same as there are now, though it was a hundred years ago
+by the church clock.
+
+'I wasn't thinking of my grandmother,' said Diggory; 'I was thinking of
+my Uncle Diggory. He was the third son of a woodcutter, just like I am,
+and he saw right enough that that's the sort that _has_ to go out and
+seek its fortune. And I'm getting on, father; I shall be twenty before
+you know where you are.'
+
+'You'll have to be twenty and more before I agree not to know where
+_you_ are,' said his father. 'Your Uncle Diggory did well for himself,
+sure enough, and many a turkey and chine he's sent us at
+Christmas-time; but he started a-horseback, he did. He got the horse
+from _his_ Uncle Diggory, and he was a rover too. Now, if you went,
+you'd have to go on Shank's mare, and them that go a-foot comes back
+a-foot.'
+
+'Will you let me go, then, if I can get a horse?' said Diggory
+coaxingly. 'Do say yes, dad, and then I won't say another word about it
+till I've got the horse.'
+
+'Drat the lad--_yes_, then!' shouted the father.
+
+Diggory jumped up from the porch seat.
+
+'Then farewell home and hey for the road,' cried he, 'for I've got the
+horse, dad. My Uncle Diggory sent it to me this very day, and it's tied
+up behind the lodge; white it is, and a red saddle and bridle fit for a
+King.'
+
+The woodcutter grumbled, but he was a woodcutter of honour, and having
+said 'Yes,' he had to stick to yes.
+
+So Diggory rode off on the white horse with the scarlet saddle, and all
+the village turned out to see him go. He had on his best white smock,
+and he had never felt so fine in all his days.
+
+So he rode away. When he came to the round mound windmill he stopped,
+for there was Joyce taking in the clean clothes from the hedge, because
+it was Monday evening.
+
+He told her where he was going.
+
+'You might take me with you,' she said. 'I'm not so very heavy but what
+we could both ride on that great big horse of yours.' And she held up a
+face as sweet as a bunch of flowers.
+
+But Diggory said, 'No, my dear. Why, you little silly, girls can't go to
+seek their fortunes. You'd only be in my way! Wish me luck, child.'
+
+So he rode on, and she folded up the linen all crooked, and damped it
+down with her tears, so that it was quite ready for ironing.
+
+Diggory rode on, and on, and on. He rode through dewy evening, and
+through the cool black night, and right into the fresh-scented pinky
+pearly dawning. And when it was real live wide-awake morning, Diggory
+felt very thin and empty inside his smock, and he remembered that he had
+had nothing to eat since dinner-time yesterday, and then it was pork and
+greens.
+
+He rode on, and he rode on, and by-and-by he came to a red brick wall,
+very strong and stout, with big buttresses and a stone coping. His horse
+(whom he had christened Invicta, and perhaps if he had known as much
+Latin as you do he would have called him something different) was a
+very high horse indeed, and by standing up in his stirrups Diggory could
+see over the wall. And he saw that on the other side was an orchard full
+of trees full of apples, red, and yellow, and green. He reined Invicta
+in close under the wall and said, 'Woa, there! stand still, will 'e?'
+And he stood up on the broad saddle and made a jump and caught at the
+stone coping of the wall, and next moment he had hung by his hands and
+dropped into the orchard. And it was a very long drop indeed. For he had
+quite made up his mind to take some of the apples. First, because he was
+hungry, and, secondly, because boys _will_ take apples--in stories that
+is, of course; _really_, they would never think of such a thing.
+
+With a practised eye, Diggory chose the tree with the fattest, rosiest
+apples on it. He climbed the tree, and had just settled himself astride
+a convenient bough when he heard a voice say: 'Hi! You up there!'
+
+And, looking down, he saw a flat-faced old man with a red flannel
+waistcoat standing under the tree looking up spitefully.
+
+'Good-morning, my fine fellow,' said the old man. 'You seem a nice
+honest lad, and I'm sorry for your sake that apple stealing's punished
+so severely in these parts.'
+
+'I've not had any apples yet,' said Diggory. 'Look here, I'll go away if
+you like, and we'll say no more about it.'
+
+'That's a handsome offer, very,' said the nasty old man; 'but this is an
+enchanted orchard, and you can't go away without with your leave or by
+your leave, as you came in. Why, you can't even get out of the tree--and
+as for climbing the wall, no one can do it without a white horse to help
+him. So now where are you?'
+
+Diggory knew very well where he was, and he tried at once to be
+somewhere else, but the old man was right. He could move all about the
+tree from branch to branch, but the tree felt wrong way up and he felt
+wrong way up; that is to say, he could not get to the ground except by
+jumping much harder than he knew how to, and then he knew he would only
+have fallen back again, just as you would fall back if you jumped up to
+the ceiling. He could have fallen off the tree the other way, of course,
+but then he would have fallen up into the sky, and there seemed to be
+nothing there to stop his falling for ever and ever. So he held tight
+and looked at the old man. And Diggory thought he looked nastier than
+ever.
+
+So he said: 'Well?'
+
+And the old man said: 'Not at all! However, since you had the sense not
+to fall off wrong way, I suppose you're the boy I want. Now, look here,
+you throw me down those ten big apples, one by one, so that I can catch
+them, and I'll let you go out by the Apple Door that no one but me has
+the key of.'
+
+'Why don't you pick them yourself?' Diggory asked.
+
+'I'm too old; you know very well that old men don't climb trees. Come,
+is it a bargain?'
+
+'I don't know,' said the boy; 'there are lots of apples you can reach
+without climbing. Why do you want these so particularly?'
+
+As he spoke, he picked one of the apples and threw it up and caught it.
+I say up, but it was down instead, because of the apple-tree being so
+very much enchanted.
+
+'Oh, _don't_!' the old man squeaked like a rat in a trap--'_don't_ drop
+it! Throw it down to me, you nasty slack-baked, smock-frocked son of a
+speckled toad!'
+
+Diggory's blood boiled at hearing his father called a toad.
+
+[Illustration: '"Take that," cried he, aiming an apple at the old man's
+head.'--Page 307.]
+
+'Take that!' cried he, aiming the apple at the old man's head.' I wish I
+could get out of this tree.'
+
+The apple hit the old man's head and bounced on to the grass, and the
+moment that apple touched the ground Diggory found that he _could_ get
+out of the tree if he liked, for he felt that he was now the proper way
+up once more, and so was the tree.
+
+'So,' he said, 'these are wish-apples, are they?'
+
+'No, no, no, no!' shrieked the old man so earnestly that Diggory knew he
+was lying. 'I've just disenchanted you, that's all. You see, most people
+fall up out of the tree and you didn't, so I thought I'd let you go,
+because I'm a nice kind old man, I am, and I wouldn't so much as hurt a
+fly. They aren't wish-apples, indeed they aren't.'
+
+'Really,' said Diggory. 'I wish you'd speak the truth.'
+
+With that he picked the second apple and threw it. And the old man began
+to speak the truth as hard as ever he could speak. It was like a child
+saying a lesson it has just learned, and is afraid of forgetting before
+it can get it said.
+
+'I am a wicked magician. I have turned hundreds of people's heads in
+that tree so that they fall into the sky, and when they fall back again,
+as they have to do when the tide turns, I make them into apple-trees. I
+don't know why I do, but I like to. I suppose it's because I'm wicked. I
+never did anything useful with my magic, but I can hurt. And there's
+only one way out of this, and I don't mean to show it you.'
+
+'It's a pity you're so wicked,' said Diggory. 'I wish you were good.'
+
+He threw down another apple, and instantly the magician became so good
+that he could do nothing but sit down and cry to think how wicked he had
+been. He was now perfectly useless. But Diggory was no longer afraid of
+him, so he gathered the ten apples that were left and put them inside
+his shirt, and came down the tree.
+
+The old man couldn't tell him how to get out, and he couldn't disenchant
+the fruit-trees or anything. So Diggory had to spend three wish-apples.
+First he spent one on making the old man happy. This was done as it is
+in Miss Edgeworth's stories--by giving him a thatched cottage and a
+garden, and a devoted grand-daughter to look after him. The next apple
+showed Diggory the Apple Door, which he had not been able to find, and
+he went out by it. You, of course, can find it on the map, but he had no
+map, and, besides, it is spelt differently. Before he went out of the
+orchard he threw down another apple, and wished the apple-trees to be
+disenchanted. And they were. And then the red-walled orchard was full of
+Kings and Princesses, and swineherds and goosegirls, and statesmen and
+stevedores, and every kind of person you can or can't think of.
+
+Diggory left them to find their own ways home--some of them lived ever
+so long before, and ever so far away--and he himself went out by the
+Apple Door, and found his good white horse, who had been eating grass
+very happily all the time he had been in the company of the magician,
+and that had been two days and a night.
+
+So Invicta was not hungry, but Diggory was; and, in fact, he was so
+hungry that he had to use a wish-apple to get his supper, and that was
+very, very wasteful of him, and he often regretted it in after years. It
+is true that he wished for the best supper in the world, and had it; but
+it was only bread-and-milk! If he had wished for the nicest supper it
+would have been different, no doubt.
+
+Diggory rode on anxiously, arranging what wishes he should have with
+the rest of the apples, but in the dusk he missed his way and was nearly
+drowned in a rain-flooded ford, and poor white Invicta was quite carried
+away.
+
+Then Diggory took off his shirt to wring the water out, and as he took
+it off he said: 'I wish I had my good white horse again.'
+
+And as he said it all the apples but one tumbled out of his shirt on to
+the ground, and he heard soft neighings and stampings and hustlings and
+rustlings all round him in the dark, and when the moon rose he saw that
+he had had his wish--he had his good white horse back again. But as he
+had dropped eight apples, he had his good white horse back eight times,
+and as eight times one is eight, he had now eight good white horses, all
+called Invicta.
+
+'Well, eight horses are better than nothing!' he said; and when he had
+tethered the horses he went to sleep, for he felt strangely feeble and
+tired.
+
+In the morning he woke with pains in every limb. He thought it was a
+cold from the wetting in the ford, but it was really rheumatism. And he
+could not get rid of it. He tied seven horses together and led them,
+riding on the eighth.
+
+'Eight horses are a pretty good fortune for a woodcutter's son,' he said
+to himself, 'and, anyway, I'm too tired to go looking for any better
+one.'
+
+So he rode home.
+
+He knew the roads well enough, and yet they seemed different; they were
+much better roads to ride over, for one thing, and the hedges and trees
+were odd somehow. And the big wood near his father's house seemed very
+small as he looked down on it from the hill. But when he got to the
+village he thought he must have gone mad, for in the day and two nights
+and a day that he had been away the village had grown big and ugly and
+yellow-bricky, and there were eight shops and six public-houses besides
+the Bill and Billet, and many more people than there used to be, all in
+ugly, untidy clothes, and the Round Mound windmill was _gone_! The
+people came crowding round him.
+
+'What's become of the mill?' he asked, trembling all over.
+
+The boys and girls and men and women stared, and a very old man stepped
+out of the crowd.
+
+'It were pulled down,' he said, 'when I were a boy.'
+
+'And the woodcutter's cottage?'
+
+'That were burnt down a matter of fifty year ago. Was you a native of
+these parts, old man?'
+
+There was a large plate-glass shop-window just opposite the crowd that
+surrounded Diggory. A dark blind was pulled down inside, because it was
+Wednesday and early-closing day. This made a fine mirror, and Diggory
+happened to look in it, and there he saw himself--an old, old
+white-haired man on a white horse. He had a white beard, too, but it was
+quite short, because it had only had since bedtime last night to grow
+in.
+
+He almost tumbled off his horse. The landlord of the Ship led him in
+to sit by the fire in the bar parlour, and the eight horses were put up
+in the stable.
+
+The old man who had told him about the mill came and sat by him, and
+poor old Diggory asked questions till he grew tired of hearing the
+answer, which was always the same: 'Dead, dead, dead!'
+
+Then he sat silent, and the people in the bar talked about his horses,
+and a young man said:
+
+'I wish I'd got e'er a one on 'em. I'd do a tidy bit in fish, an' set up
+for myself--so I would.'
+
+'Young man,' said Diggory, 'you may take one of them; its name is
+Invicta.'
+
+The young man could hardly believe his fortunate ears. Diggory felt his
+heart warm to think that he had made someone else so happy. He felt
+actually younger. And next morning he made up his mind to give away all
+the horses but one. That one he would sell, and its price would keep him
+for the rest of his life: he hoped that would not be long, for he did
+not care to go on living now that he had seen the tombstones in the
+churchyard with the names of his father and brothers and little Joyce of
+the mill.
+
+He led his horses away next day. He did not want to give them all away
+in one village, because that would have lessened the value of his gift
+to the young man who was going into fish, and, besides, it would have
+been awkward to have so many horses of the same name in one village.
+
+He gave away a horse at each village he passed through, and with every
+horse he gave away he felt happier and lighter. And when he had given
+away the fourth his rheumatism went, and when he had given away the
+seventh his beard was gone.
+
+'Now,' he said to himself, 'I will ride home and end my days in my own
+village, and be buried with my own people.'
+
+So he turned his horse's head towards home, and he felt so gay and
+light-limbed he could hardly believe that he was really an old, old man.
+And he rode on.
+
+And at the end of the village he stopped and rubbed his eyes, for there
+stood the Round Mound windmill, and on the slope was Joyce, looking
+prettier than ever in a russet petticoat and a white neckerchief and a
+pink print gown with little red rosebuds on it.
+
+'Oh, Diggory, Diggory,' she cried, 'you've come back, then! You'll take
+me with you now, won't you?'
+
+'Have you got a looking-glass, my dear?' said he. 'Then run in and fetch
+it.'
+
+She ran. He took it and looked in it. And he saw the same young brown
+face and the same bright brown hair that he had always known for _him_,
+and he was not old any more. And there was Joyce holding up a face as
+sweet as a bunch of flowers.
+
+'Will you take me?' said she.
+
+He stooped down and kissed the face that was so sweet.
+
+'I'll take you,' said he.
+
+And as they went along to his home he told her all the story.
+
+'Well, but,' she said, 'you've got one wish-apple left.'
+
+'Why, so I have,' said he; 'if I hadn't forgotten it!'
+
+'We'll make that into the fortune you went out to find. Do, do let me
+look at it!'
+
+He pulled out the apple, and she took it in her hand as she sat behind
+him on the big white horse.
+
+'Yes, our fortune's made,' he said; 'but I do wish I knew why I turned
+old like that.'
+
+Just then Invicta stumbled, and Joyce caught at her lover to save
+herself from falling, and as she caught at him the apple slipped from
+her hand and the last wish was granted. For as it bounced on the road
+Diggory did know why he had grown old like that. He knew that the
+magician had arranged long before that every wish-apple that was used
+outside the orchard should add ten years to the wisher's age. So that
+the eight horses had made him a hundred years old, and the spell could
+only be undone by the wisher's giving away what he'd wished for. So that
+it was Diggory's generosity in giving away the horses that had taken him
+back to the proper age for being happy in. I don't want to be moral, and
+I'm very sorry--but it really was that.
+
+He carried Joyce home to his father's house. They were much too pleased
+with each other to bother about the wasted wish-apples.
+
+'You're soon back, my son,' said the woodcutter, laughing.
+
+'Yes,' said Diggory.
+
+'Have you found your fortune?'
+
+'Yes,' said Diggory; 'here she is!'
+
+And he presented Joyce. The woodcutter laughed more than ever, for the
+miller's daughter was a bit of an heiress.
+
+'Well, well!' he said.
+
+So they were married, and they had a little farm, and the white horse
+was put to the plough, and to the cart, and the harrow, and the waggon;
+and he worked hard, and they worked hard, so that they all throve and
+were very happy as long as ever they lived.
+
+Said Joyce one day to Diggory, 'How was it you wanted to take me with
+you directly you came back, and when you were going away you didn't.'
+
+'I've often wondered about that myself,' he said; 'I think it must have
+been the bread-and-milk. You see, it was one of the wish-apple things,
+just like the horses were, only they were outside things, so they made
+me old outside; but the bread-and milk----'
+
+'Was an inside thing, of course--quite inside.'
+
+'Yes, so it made me old inside of my mind, just old enough to have the
+sense to see that _you_ were all the fortune I wanted, and more than I
+deserved.'
+
+'I didn't have to be so very old to know what fortune _I_ wanted,' said
+Joyce, 'but, then, I was a girl. Boys are always much stupider than
+girls, aren't they?'
+
+ * * * * *
+
+The only person in this story you are likely to have heard of is, of
+course, Invicta, and he is better known as the White Horse of Kent.
+
+You can see pictures of him all over his county: on brewers circulars
+and all sorts of documents, and carved in stone on buildings, and even
+on the disagreeable, insulting fronts of traction-engines.
+Traction-engines pretend to despise horses, but they carry the image of
+the White Horse on their hearts. And his name is generally put
+underneath his picture, so that there shall be no mistake.
+
+
+
+
+SIR CHRISTOPHER COCKLESHELL
+
+
+The children called him Sir Christopher Cockleshell.--'Sir,' in token of
+respect for his gray hairs and noble-looking face; Christopher, because
+he had once carried Mabel across the road on a very muddy day, when
+thunder showers and the parish water-carts had both been particularly
+busy; and Cockleshell, because of the house he lived in.
+
+It was a most wonderful house--like the gateway of an old castle. It had
+a big arch in the middle and a window over the arch, and there were
+windows, too, in the towers on each side of the arch. All along the top
+were in-and-out battlements. It had been covered with white plaster
+once, but flakes of this had fallen away and showed the pinky bricks
+underneath. But the oddest thing about the house was the trimming that
+ran all round the bottom story about the height of a tall man. This
+trimming was of oyster-shells, and cockle-shells, and mussel-shells,
+and whelk-shells, and scallop-shells, all stuck on the wall of the house
+in patterns. It was a very wonderful house indeed, and the children
+always tried to go past it on their way to everywhere.
+
+The children themselves lived in a large, square, ordinary brown-brick
+house among other ordinary brown-brick houses. Their house had a long
+garden with tall old trees in it, and so had the other houses. Looking
+out of the boxroom window was like looking down on the top of a green
+forest, Phyllis always thought. Only now, of course, the trees were not
+green any more, because it was nearly Christmas.
+
+'I wish Sir Christopher had a garden to his house,' Phyllis said one day
+to the new housemaid.
+
+'There used to be a pleasure-gardens there, I've heard father tell,'
+said the new housemaid. 'Quite a big gardens, it was. The gent as owned
+it was as rich as rich, kep' his carriage and butlers and all. But when
+his son come into the property he sold the gardens for building on, and
+only kep' the gate-house--the Grotto they calls it. An' there 'e's lived
+ever since in quite a poor way. Nasty old miser, that's what he is!'
+
+'He may be a miser,' said Phyllis, 'but he's not nasty. He carried Mabel
+as kind as could be.'
+
+'Have you ever spoke to him since?' demanded the housemaid.
+
+'No,' said Phyllis; 'he always smiles at us, but he's always in a
+hurry.'
+
+'That's it,' said the housemaid; ''e's afraid to let anyone inside of
+his house, fear they should get to see all the sacks of money he's got
+there. And he pokes about and picks things outer the gutters, so he
+won't get to know anyone. My young brother he knocked at the door once
+to arst for a drink of water--thought he'd get a squint at the inside of
+the house while the old chap was gone to draw it. But he shuts the door
+in Elf's face, and only opens it a crack to hand him the mug through.'
+
+'It was kind of him to give your brother the water,' said Phyllis.
+
+'Elf didun want the water,' said Alf's sister; ''e'd just 'ad a lemonade
+at the paper shop.'
+
+Phyllis had often wanted to do something kind for Sir Christopher, but
+she could not think of anything that wasn't just as likely to annoy him
+as to please him. If she had known when his birthday was, she would have
+put a birthday card under his door; but no one can be pleased at having
+a card with 'Bright be thy natal morn' on it when really the natal morn
+is quite a different date. She would have taken him flowers at the time
+when dahlias and sunflowers grew at the end of the garden, but perhaps
+he would not like the bother of putting them in water; and, if he was
+really poor, and not a miser, as Jane said, he might not have a vase or
+jug to put them in.
+
+And now it was Christmas-time. Guy was home for the holidays, and that
+was splendid. But, on the other hand, mother and father had had to go to
+granny, who was ill. So there would be no real Christmas in the brown
+house.
+
+'But I'll tell you what,' said Phyllis; 'there's the Christmas-tree for
+the poor children at the schools. Suppose we were to make some things
+for that, and buy some, and go down and help decorate? Mother said we
+might.'
+
+Guy was rather clever with his fingers, and as we all like doing what we
+can do really well, he did not make such a fuss over making things as
+some boys do. He could make doll's furniture out of pins and wool, and
+armchairs out of the breast-bones of geese; only there are so seldom
+enough breast-bones of geese to make a complete set of furniture.
+
+There was nearly a week to make things in, and long before its end the
+schoolroom began to look like a bazaar. There were little boxes of
+sweets covered with silver paper, and scrapbooks made of postcards
+covered with red calico, and some little dolls that the girls dressed,
+as well as all the things that Guy made.
+
+'How ravishingly beautiful!' said Mabel, when the shiny, shimmery, real
+Christmas-tree things bought at the shop were spread out with the
+others.
+
+The day before Christmas Eve the children were very happy indeed,
+although they had had to be made thoroughly tidy before Jane would allow
+them to go down to the school; and being thoroughly tidy, as you know,
+often means a lot of soap in your eyes, and having your nails cleaned by
+someone who does not know as well as you do where the nail leaves off
+and the real you begins.
+
+They went to the side-door of the school, and left the baskets and
+bundles of pretty things in the porch and went in.
+
+The big tree was there, but it was just plain fir-tree so far, nothing
+Christmassy about it, except that it was planted in a tub.
+
+'How do you do?' said Guy politely to the stout lady in a bonnet with
+black beads and a violet feather; 'I'm so glad we're in time.'
+
+'What for?' said the stout lady. 'The tree's not till to-morrow. Run
+away, little boy.'
+
+'Oh, Mrs. Philkins,' said Phyllis, 'he's not a little boy, he's Guy;
+don't you remember him?'
+
+'I remember him in petticoats,' said Mrs. Philkins: 'he's grown.
+Good-afternoon.'
+
+'Mother said,' said Guy, keeping his temper beautifully, 'that we might
+come and help.'
+
+'Very kind of your mother to arrange it like that. But _I_ happen to be
+in charge of the tree, and I don't want any outside assistance.'
+
+The children turned away without a word. When they got outside Guy said:
+
+'I hate Mrs. Philkins!'
+
+'We oughtn't to hate anybody,' said Mabel.
+
+'She isn't anybody--at least, not anybody in particular,' said Phyllis;
+'I heard father say so.'
+
+'She wouldn't have been such a pig to us if she'd known what we'd
+brought for the tree,' said Phyllis.
+
+'I'm glad she didn't know. I wish we hadn't done the things at all,'
+said Guy; 'it's always the way if you try to do good to others.'
+
+'It _isn't_,' said the others indignantly; 'you know it isn't.'
+
+'That's right!' said Guy aggravatingly, 'let's begin to quarrel about
+it--_us_--that would just please her. Let's drop the whole lot into the
+canal, and say no more about it.'
+
+'Oh _no_!' cried both the girls together, clutching the precious parcels
+they carried.
+
+'But what's the good?' said Guy; 'we don't know anyone who's got a
+Christmas-tree to give them to.'
+
+Phyllis stopped short on the pavement, struck motionless by an idea.
+
+'I know,' she said: 'we'll have a tree of our very own.'
+
+'What's the good if there's no one to see it?'
+
+'We'll ask someone to see it.'
+
+'Who?'
+
+'Sir Christopher!'
+
+The daring and romance of this idea charmed even Guy. But he thought it
+would be better not to ask Sir Christopher to come to their house:
+'Servants are so odd,' he said; 'they might be rude to him, or
+something. No; we'll get it ready, and we'll wheel it round after dark,
+and ask him to let us light it in his yard. Then he won't think we're
+trying to pry into his house.'
+
+Half an hour later Guy staggered in, bearing a fir-tree.
+
+'Only ninepence,' he said; 'it's a bit lop-sided, but we can tie ivy on
+or something to make that right. I'm glad that old cat wouldn't let us
+help. It's much jollier like this.'
+
+The tree was planted in a pot that a dead azalea had lived in; and Mrs.
+Philkins was quite forgotten in the joy of trimming their own tree.
+Besides the things they had made there were the lovely things they had
+bought--stars and flags, and a sugar bird-cage with a yellow bird in it,
+and a glass boat with glass sails, and a blue china bird with a tail of
+spun glass.
+
+Guy went out and borrowed a wheelbarrow from the gardener who
+cut their grass when it was cut, and when the tree was trimmed he and
+Phyllis carried it downstairs. The top branch with the star on it got
+banged against the banisters, and the side branch got into Guy's eye,
+and Phyllis's thumb got jammed between the pot and the banister rail.
+But what are trifles like these in an adventure like this?
+
+They got the tree out of the front-door without being seen by the
+servants--a real triumph. They stood the pot in the barrow, and started
+to wheel it out of the front-gate. But directly they lifted the handles
+of the barrow the floor of it naturally ceased to be straight, and the
+flower-pot toppled over and cracked itself slightly against the side of
+the barrow, while the boughs of the tree, with their gay decorations,
+took the opportunity to entangle themselves in the bad-tempered leaves
+of the holly that stood there, and were disengaged with difficulty.
+
+Then the pot refused to stand up, and at last it had to be laid down in
+the barrow, with its shiny treasures dangling over the front-wheel.
+
+Then, the barrow was extremely heavy even without the tree in it; and
+the children did not go the nearest way to the Grotto, because they did
+not want to meet people, so they were thoroughly tired and extremely hot
+by the time they approached Sir Christopher Cockleshell's castle.
+
+There was a bit of waste land close to it, where someone had once begun
+to build a house and had then thought better of it. A bit of this
+house's wall was standing on each side of the space where its front-door
+would have been if it had ever come to the point of having one. They
+wheeled the barrow in, and the light of a street lamp that obligingly
+shone through the door-space made it possible for them to disentangle
+the little strings that had got twisted round each other, to disengage
+the gilt fish from the sugar bird-cage, and to take the glass bird out
+of the goose-bone armchair in which it was trying to sit. Also they set
+up all the candles--six dozen of them. This is done with tin-tacks, as
+no doubt you know.
+
+'Now,' said Guy, 'one of us must go and ask if he'll let us light it in
+his yard, and one of us must wait here with the tree.'
+
+'What about me?' said Mabel.
+
+'You can do which you like,' said Guy.
+
+'I want to do both,' said Mabel; 'I want to stay with the pretty tree,
+_and_ I want to go and ask him if he wants us.'
+
+Mabel was still too small to understand thoroughly how hard it is, even
+for a grown-up person, to be in two places at once.
+
+It ended in Guy's staying with the tree.
+
+'In case of attacks by boys,' he said.
+
+'Then I shall go with Phyllis,' said Mabel.
+
+Both girls felt their hearts go quite pitter-pattery when at last they
+stood on the doorstep of the castle.
+
+'Why don't you knock?' Mabel asked.
+
+'I don't like to,' said Phyllis.
+
+Mabel instantly knocked very loudly with a wooden ninepin-ball that she
+happened to have in her pocket.
+
+'Oh, I _wish_ you hadn't!' said Phyllis; 'I wanted to think what to say
+first, and now there's no time.'
+
+There certainly was not. The door opened a cautious inch, and a voice
+said:
+
+'Who's there?'
+
+'It's us,' said Phyllis, 'please. We don't want to pry into your
+beautiful house like Jane's brother Alf when he asked you for the drink
+of water, only we've made up a Christmas-tree, and may we stand it in
+your yard and light it--the candles, I mean?'
+
+The door opened a little further, and a face looked out--the face, of
+course, of Sir Christopher. All the house that showed through the crack
+of the door didn't, as Mabel said afterwards, show at all, because it
+was pitch-dark.
+
+'I don't quite understand,' said Sir Christopher gently. Phyllis was a
+little surprised to find that the voice was what she called a
+gentleman's voice.
+
+'We--you were so kind carrying Mab across the road that water-carty day
+when it thundered----'
+
+'Oh, it's you, is it?' he said.
+
+'Yes, it's us; and they wouldn't let us help with the school tree, and
+so we made one of our own and then we wanted someone to see it. And we
+thought of you, because you don't seem to have many friends, and we
+thought---- But we'll take it home again if you don't care about it.'
+
+She stopped, just on the right side of tears.
+
+'There's a glass bird with a spun-lovely tail,' said Mabel persuasively,
+'and sweets and fishes, and a crocodile that goes waggle-waddle when you
+wind him up.'
+
+'My dears,' said Sir Christopher, and cleared his throat. 'My dears,' he
+began again, and again he stopped.
+
+'We'll go away if--if you'd rather,' said Phyllis, and sniffed
+miserably.
+
+'No, no!' he said; 'no, no--I was only thinking. I never thought--would
+you like to bring the tree into the house? It's just the sort of thing
+my little girl always liked.'
+
+'Oh yes,' said Phyllis; 'we'll go and fetch it now.'
+
+He closed the door gently. The children flew back to Guy and the tree.
+
+'Oh, Guy! we've to take the tree inside the house! And he's got a little
+girl--at least, he says so. Come on, quick. We'd better carry it. The
+barrow's so heavy, and it does interfere so!'
+
+They carried the pot between them. It was very heavy, and they had to
+put it down and rest several times. But at last they dumped it down in
+the dark on the front-door step of the castle, and breathed deep breaths
+of fatigue, relief, and excitement.
+
+The door opened, and opened wide, and this time light streamed from
+within.
+
+'Welcome!' said Sir Christopher. 'Come in. Let me help to lift it. What
+a beautiful tree!'
+
+'It is rather decent, isn't it?' said Guy dispassionately.
+
+Sir Christopher raised the pot, carried it in, and the door was shut.
+The children found themselves in a small square hall. A winding
+staircase of iron corkscrewed upwards in one corner. The hall was
+lighted only by two candles.
+
+The old gentleman led the way through a door on the right into a round
+room with white walls.
+
+'We're inside the tower now,' said Guy.
+
+'Yes,' said their host, 'this is part of the tower.'
+
+He hastily lighted a big lamp, and then a deep 'Oh!' broke from the
+children. For the walls were not white, they were all of
+mother-of-pearl, and here and there all over the walls round pearls
+shone with a starry, milky radiance.
+
+'How radishing!' said Mabel in a whisper. 'I always said he wasn't a
+miser. He's a magician.'
+
+'What a lovely, lovely room!' sighed Phyllis.
+
+'What's it made of?' asked Guy downrightly.
+
+'Oyster-shells,' said Sir Christopher, 'and pearl beads.'
+
+And it was.
+
+'Oh!' said Mabel gaily, 'then that's what you go prowling about in dirty
+gutters for?'
+
+'Don't be rude, Mab dear!' whispered Phyllis.
+
+But the old gentleman did not seem to mind. He just said, 'Yes, that's
+it,' in an absent sort of way. He seemed to be thinking about something
+else. Then he said, 'The Christmas-tree.'
+
+The children had forgotten all about the Christmas-tree.
+
+When its seventy-two candles were lighted the pearly room shone and
+glimmered like a fairy palace in a dream.
+
+'It's many a year since my little girl had such a Christmas-tree,' he
+said. 'I don't know how to thank you.'
+
+'Seeing your pearly halls is worth all the time and money,' said Mabel
+heartily.
+
+And Phyllis added in polite haste:
+
+'And you being pleased.'
+
+'Would you like to see the black marble hall?' asked Sir Christopher.
+
+And, of course, they said, 'Yes, awfully.'
+
+So he led them into the room on the other side of the hall, and lighted
+a lamp. And the room was like a room of black marble, carved into little
+round knobs.
+
+'How lovely!' said Phyllis.
+
+'It's not lovely like the other,' said Mabel; 'but it's more serious,
+like when the organ plays in church.'
+
+'Why,' said Guy suddenly, 'it's winkle-shells!'
+
+And it was. Hundreds and thousands of winkle-shells sorted into sizes
+and stuck on the walls in patterns, and then, it seemed, polished or
+varnished.
+
+'Come,' said Sir Christopher, 'I'll show you the red-room.'
+
+As they turned to go a tall, white figure by the door seemed to come
+suddenly into the lamplight. It was covered with a sheet.
+
+'Oh!' said all three, starting back, 'what's that?'
+
+'That's my little girl,' he said.
+
+'Is she trying to frighten us? Is she playing ghosts?' asked Guy.
+
+'No,' he said; 'she never plays at ghosts. It isn't her really. That's
+only my fun. It's a statue really.'
+
+'Aren't statues very dear?' asked Guy.
+
+'Very,' said Sir Christopher--'very, very dear.'
+
+He led the way up the winding iron stair and showed them the red-room.
+Its walls were covered with bits of red lobster-shells, overlapping like
+a fish's scales or the plates of armour.
+
+'How resplendid!' said Mabel; 'I believe you're a mighty magician.'
+
+'No,' he said; 'at least--no, not exactly. There's only one more room.'
+
+The other room was a bedroom, quite dull and plain, with whitewashed
+walls and painted deal furniture.
+
+'I like the pearly halls best,' said Mabel: 'they're more eloquent;' and
+they all went down to the room where the seventy-two candles of the
+Christmas-tree were burning steadily and brightly, though there was no
+one to see them.
+
+'Won't you call your little girl?' said Phyllis. 'The candles won't last
+so very long; they're the cheap kind.'
+
+Sir Christopher twisted his fingers together.
+
+'It's no use calling her,'he said. 'Would you mind--do you mind leaving
+the tree for to-night? You could fetch it to-morrow. And you won't tell
+anyone about the inside of my house, will you? They'd only laugh at it.'
+
+'I don't see how they could,' said Mabel indignantly; 'it's the
+beautifullest, gorgerest house that ever was.'
+
+'But we won't tell anyone,' said Guy. 'And we'll come again
+to-morrow--about the same time.'
+
+Sir Christopher said, 'Yes, please.'
+
+And they all shook hands with him and came away, leaving the
+Christmas-tree, with all its seventy-two candles, still making the
+pearly room a dream of fairy beauty.
+
+They ran all the way home, because it was rather late, and they did not
+want the servants to fetch them from the parish schoolroom, where they
+had not spent the evening. It would have been very difficult to explain
+exactly where and how they _had_ spent it, and the fact that they had
+promised not to say anything about it would have added considerably to
+the difficulty.
+
+When they had been let in, and had taken off their hats and jackets and
+got their breaths, they looked at each other.
+
+'Well?' said Phyllis.
+
+'Yes,' said Mabel; 'what an inciting adventure! What a dear he is! I do
+hope we shall see his little girl to-morrow.'
+
+'Yes,' said Guy slowly, 'but I don't think we shall.'
+
+'Why ever not?'
+
+'Because I don't believe he's got any little girl. We went into all the
+rooms, and the hall and landing. There wasn't any other room for the
+little girl to be in.'
+
+'Perhaps it was really her under the sheet, trying to be ghosts,' said
+Phyllis.
+
+'It was too high up,' said Mabel.
+
+'She might have been standing on a stool,' said Phyllis.
+
+'Well,' said Guy, with a satisfied look; 'it's a very thrilling
+mystery.'
+
+It was. And it gave them something to think of for the next few days.
+For that evening when they went to fetch the Christmas-tree, they found
+the door of Sir Christopher's castle tight shut, and their
+Christmas-tree was standing alone on the doorstep in the dark.
+
+After vainly knocking several times, they put the tree into the
+wheelbarrow and got it home, only upsetting it three times by the way.
+
+When they got it into the light of their schoolroom they saw that there
+was a piece of paper on it--a note.
+
+'My dears,' it said, 'here is your beautiful tree. Thank you very much.
+If you knew how much pleasure it had given me you would be glad. Why not
+give the tree to some poor child? Good-bye. God bless you!'
+
+There were some letters tangled together at the bottom of the page.
+
+'His initials, I suppose,' said Guy. But nobody could read them.
+
+'Anyway, it means he doesn't want to see us any more,' said Phyllis.
+'Oh, I do wish we knew something more about him.'
+
+But they took his advice, and the tree went to the gardener's little
+boy, who was ill. It made him almost forget his illness for days and
+days.
+
+When father came home they asked him who lived in the Grotto. He told
+them.
+
+'He has lived there for years,' he said. 'I have heard that when he came
+into his property he found that his property was almost all debts. So he
+sold the tea-gardens for building on, and has lived there in the Grotto
+on next to nothing, and all these years he's been paying off his
+father's creditors. I should think they're about paid off by now.'
+
+'Has he a little girl?' asked Phyllis.
+
+'Yes--I believe so,' said father absently.
+
+'It's very odd,' Mabel was beginning, but the others silenced her.
+
+After this the children were more interested than ever in Sir
+Christopher. They used to paint illuminated texts, and make
+picture-frames of paper rosettes, and buy toys, and leave them on his
+doorstep in the dark, 'For the little girl,' and as the spring came
+on, bunches of flowers.
+
+It was one evening when Phyllis came to the castle with a big bunch of
+plumy purple lilac. She was earlier than usual, and it was not quite
+dark, and--wonder of wonders--the door of the castle was open. Still
+more wonderful, Sir Christopher stood on the doorstep.
+
+'I was watching for you,' he said. 'I had a sort of feeling you'd come
+to-night. Will you come in?'
+
+He led her into the black marble room and stood looking wistfully at
+her.
+
+'Would you like to see my little girl?' he said suddenly.
+
+'Yes,' said Phyllis.
+
+'I didn't think you'd understand,' he said, 'when you came at Christmas.
+But you've been so kind and faithful all these months. I think you will
+understand. Look!'
+
+He pulled the sheet from the statue, and Phyllis looked on the white
+likeness of a little girl of her own age, dressed in a long gown like a
+nightgown.
+
+'It is very beautiful,' she said.
+
+'Yes,' he said. 'Have you ever heard any tales about me?' he asked.
+
+'Yes,' said Phyllis, and told him.
+
+'It's not true,' he said. My father had no debts. But I married someone
+he didn't like; and then I got ill, and couldn't work. My father was
+very hard. He wouldn't help us. My wife died, and then my father died,
+and all his great wealth came to me. Too late! too late! The letter that
+told me I was rich came to me when I was sitting beside my dead child.
+The money came _then_--the money that would have saved her. The first
+money I spent out of it all was spent on that statue. It was done as she
+lay dead.'
+
+Phyllis looked at the statue, and felt--she didn't know why--very
+frightened. Then she looked at him, and she was not frightened any more.
+She ran to him and put her arms round him.
+
+'Oh, poor, poor, dear Sir Christopher!' she said.
+
+'That's how she looked when she was dead,' he said; 'would you like to
+see my ladybird as she was when she was alive and well, and I was a
+strong man able to work for her?'
+
+'Yes--oh yes,' said Phyllis.
+
+He led the way into the pearly room, and drew back a green curtain that
+hung there. Phyllis caught her breath sharply, and tears pricked her
+eyes. Not because the picture was a sad one--ah, no! not that!
+
+As the curtain was withdrawn the figure of a child seemed to spring
+towards them from the canvas--a happy, laughing child, her arms full of
+roses, her face full of health and beauty and the joy of life; a child
+whose glad, unclouded eyes met Phyllis's in a free, joyous look.
+
+'Oh no!' cried Phyllis; 'she can't be dead--she _can't_!'
+
+The old man took her in his arms, for she was crying bitterly.
+
+'Thank you--thank you, dear,' he said, soothing her. 'Now I know that
+you are the right person to help me.'
+
+'I? Help _you_?'
+
+Phyllis's tears began to dry at the beautiful thought, but she still
+sobbed.
+
+'Don't cry,' he said, and gently drew the green curtain over the lovely
+laughing face. 'Don't cry. I want to tell you of many things. When that
+money came--I've told you when--as soon as I could see or think again, I
+saw what I ought to do. Ever since I've not spent a penny of that money
+on myself--on anything but the plainest food, the plainest clothes. If
+I've made the house beautiful for her picture to live in, it's been with
+my own work. All the rest of the money has gone to help little girls
+whose fathers can't work for them--little girls that can be saved, as my
+little girl could have been saved. That's the work I want you to carry
+on for me when you grow up. Will you promise?'
+
+'Yes,' said Phyllis; 'only I'm very stupid.'
+
+'I will have you taught. You shall learn how to do my work. Ask your
+father to come and see me. And now, good-bye. Perhaps I shan't see you
+again. Will you always remember that your Christmas-tree came to me like
+a light in a dark night to show me that there was someone still who
+cared to be kind.... Good-bye.'
+
+Father, when he heard the story, almost thought that Phyllis was
+dreaming. But he went to the Grotto, and when he came back his face was
+very sad.
+
+'It is a very great honour for you, Phyllis,' he said gravely. 'Are you
+sure that you understand how much hard work it will mean?'
+
+'I don't mind hard work,' said Phyllis, 'if only I can do what he
+wants.'
+
+So Phyllis is learning many things and preparing for the great work that
+has so wonderfully come to her. I think she will do it well, because she
+is not at all stupid really, and she has the gift of being sorry for sad
+people, and happy with happy ones. I think Sir Christopher chose well.
+
+Some distant relations of Sir Christopher's have tried to make out that
+he was mad, and so couldn't do what he liked with his money. But when
+they took the matter to the judges to decide, hundreds and hundreds of
+people he had been good to and helped broke the promise of secrecy that
+he had always asked of them. And all England rang with the tale of his
+goodness, and of all the kind and clever things he had done for poor
+children all those long years, for the sake of his own little child. And
+the judges decided he was quite right to use his money in that way, and
+not mad at all. So the tiresome relations got nothing but lawyers' bills
+for their pains.
+
+Phyllis only saw Sir Christopher once again. He sent for her when he was
+dying. They had moved his bed into the pearly room, and he lay facing
+the green curtain.
+
+'If it seems too hard when the time comes,' he said, 'you need not do
+the work. Your father knows how to arrange that.'
+
+'You needn't be afraid,' said Phyllis; 'it's the most splendid chance
+anyone ever had.'
+
+'Kiss me, dear,' he said, 'and then draw back the curtain.'
+
+But before Phyllis's hand had touched the green curtain he sat up in the
+bed and held out his arms towards the picture.
+
+'Why, ladybird!' he cried, his face all alight with love and joy. 'Why,
+my little girl!'
+
+
+
+
+MUSCADEL
+
+
+Of course, there was a grand party when Princess Pandora came of age.
+The palace was hung with garlands of white roses, all the carpets were
+taken up, and the floor of every room was covered close with green turf
+with daisies in it, for in that country the cruel practice of rooting
+daisies out of lawns with a spud was a crime.
+
+The Queen-mother had died when Pandora was a little baby, so now the
+Princess had to be hostess, and to receive all the guests, and speak to
+each one a little, and see that everyone had enough to eat and the right
+sort of person to talk to.
+
+She did it all very nicely indeed, for she was a properly brought up
+Princess and had been to a school for the daughters of monarchs only,
+where, every Wednesday evening, she and her school-fellows were taught
+'deportment, manners, and how to behave at Court.'
+
+All the guests went away very pleased with her and with themselves,
+which is how people ought always to feel after a party.
+
+When they had all gone she went and curled up at the feet of her father,
+who had sunk back on his throne exhausted by his hospitable exertions.
+The two were quite alone, except for a particularly fine house-fly who
+had settled on the back of the throne, just above the carved Royal arms.
+Of course, neither the King nor the Princess noticed such a little thing
+as a fly.
+
+'Well, daddy dear,' said the Princess, 'did it go off all right? Did I
+behave prettily?'
+
+'Ah!' said the King, 'you're a born Princess, my pet. Pretty face,
+pretty manners, good heart, good head. You're your dear mother over
+again. And that reminds me----'
+
+'Yes?' said the Princess.
+
+'When your mother died,' said the King--and he sighed, though it was
+twenty-one years to a day since he had lost his Queen-love--'I promised
+her to lock up her apartments, and only to give the keys of them to you
+when you should be twenty-one. And now you _are_, so here are the keys,
+my precious. You've always wanted to explore the rooms in the south
+wing. Well, now you can.'
+
+'How lovely!' cried the Princess, jumping up; 'won't you come too,
+daddy?'
+
+'I'd rather not, dear,' said the King, so sadly that Pandora at once
+said:
+
+'Well, then, _I_ won't either. I'll stay with you.'
+
+But the King said 'No,' and she had better take a housemaid or two with
+brooms and dusters. 'The dust grows thick in twenty-one years,' said
+he.
+
+But the Princess didn't want any of the palace housemaids to help her to
+explore her mother's rooms. She went alone, holding up her
+cloth-of-silver train because of the dust.
+
+And the rooms that she unlocked with the six gold keys with pearls in
+their handles were very dusty indeed. The windows were yellow with dust,
+so the Princess threw them all open. And then, even through the dust,
+she could see how beautiful the rooms were--far more beautiful even than
+her own--and everyone had always said that hers were the most beautiful
+rooms in the seven kingdoms. She dusted the tops of a few of the tables
+and cabinets with her lace handkerchief, so that she could just see how
+everything was inlaid with ivory and jade and ebony and precious stones.
+
+Six of the keys--the pearly ones--opened six beautiful rooms, but the
+seventh had rubies in its handle, and it was a little, little key, not
+at all like a door-key; so Pandora looked about for a little keyhole
+that the key would fit, and at last she found a cabinet of ebony inlaid
+with gold and red tortoiseshell, and the little seventh key just fitted
+through the opening of the gold lock-plate and into the keyhole. Pandora
+turned the key and opened the cabinet. Inside the cabinet were seven
+little drawers with gold handles set with rubies, like the key.
+
+Pandora pulled the drawers out one after the other. She was alone,
+except for the house-fly, who had followed her and now sat on the top of
+the cabinet door, watching her with all his hundreds of eyes. But no one
+notices a fly.
+
+Five of the drawers contained jewels. The first was full of necklaces,
+the second held rings and brooches, the third had tiaras and chaplets,
+the fourth girdles, and the fifth bracelets, and they were all of the
+most beautiful jewels in the world--rubies, sapphires, emeralds, pearls
+and diamonds, and opals, and many other stones that the Princess did not
+even know the names of.
+
+In the sixth drawer was a dry brown wreath that fell to pieces as
+Pandora lifted it. It had been jasmine once, and the Queen had worn
+it at her wedding.
+
+[Illustration: 'In the drawer was just one jewelled ring. It lay on a
+written page.'--Page 347.]
+
+And in the seventh drawer was just one jewelled ring. It lay on a
+written page.
+
+The Princess read the writing:
+
+'This ring is for my son's wife, or for my daughter, if I have no son.
+It is the magic ring given thousands of years ago to a Queen of this
+country. It has the power of changing the wearer into whatever shapes he
+chooses. But it has never been used, because the Kings of this country
+have always been so good and kind, and clever and beloved, that their
+wives could never think of any change that would not be a change for the
+worse. There is only one thing in the world that this jewel cannot touch
+or change. And this is of all things in the world the most important
+thing.'
+
+Pandora kissed the written words and slipped the ring on to her finger.
+It was a wonderful stone, like a sapphire that had tried to change into
+an opal, and stopped halfway.
+
+There was not a happier Princess living than Pandora. Yet she was not
+afraid of change. Girls are like this sometimes, and she was very young
+for her age.
+
+She stood looking at the ring and turning it on her finger, and the fly
+watched her with all its hundreds of eyes.
+
+Now, you will, perhaps, have guessed that this fly was not an ordinary
+fly, and you are right. But if you think he was an enchanted Prince or
+anything of that sort you are wrong. The fly was simply the cleverest
+fly of all flies--someone must be the cleverest in any society, you
+know--and he was just clever enough to like to be where the Princess
+was, and to look at her beauty with all his hundreds of eyes. He was
+clever enough to like this and to know that he liked it, but he was not
+clever enough to know why.
+
+So now, as the Princess stood fingering her ring and trying to make her
+mind up, he gave an interested buzz, and the Princess jumped.
+
+'Oh,' she said, 'it's only a horrid fly! But it has wings. It must be
+lovely to have wings. I wish I were a fairy no bigger than that fly.'
+
+And instantly she and her silver-trained gown, and her silver shoes, and
+the magic ring, and everything about her, grew suddenly small, till she
+was just as big as the fly and no bigger, and that is flower-fairy size.
+Silver gauze wings grew out of her shoulders; she felt them unfolding
+slowly, like a dragon-fly's wings when he first comes out of that dull
+brown coat of his that hasn't any wing-parts.
+
+She gave a tiny shriek of joyous surprise, and fluttered out through the
+open window and down across the marble terraces to the palace
+flowergarden. The fly buzzed heavily after her.
+
+Pandora fluttered among roses and lilies on her bright, light, white
+wings, but presently she was tired, because flying is much harder work
+than you would think, especially when you have not been brought up to it
+from a child. So she looked about for a place to rest in, and saw near
+her the cool pink cave of a foxglove flower. She alighted on its lip,
+folded her wings, and walked in on her little fairy feet. It was very
+pleasant inside the foxglove. The Princess sat down by a drop of dew,
+which was quite a pool to the tiny lady, and presently she took off her
+rings and laid them on the smooth floor of the pink cave, and began to
+dabble her hands in the dew-pool. The fly had settled on the outer edge
+of the flower, and watched her with all his hundreds of eyes.
+
+And now the dreadful thing happened. Pandora, her hands and face wet
+with dew, suddenly saw the daylight darken at the entrance of her
+foxglove cave. Then a black-winged monster, with hundreds and hundreds
+of eyes, came quickly towards her on its six legs. Pandora was very
+frightened, and squeezed herself close to the back of her cave. The fly
+moved on, and quickly picked up the magic ring, now so tiny that it
+fitted nicely on to one of its front feet.
+
+Next moment it had backed out of the foxglove, taking the ring with it,
+and had flown off, and the Princess was left alone.
+
+If she cried a little you can hardly blame her. You wait till you find
+yourself one million three hundred thousand two hundred and seventy-four
+times as small as you usually are, with no means whatever of getting
+back to your proper size, then you'll understand how the Princess felt.
+
+But she was a brave Princess; so she soon stopped crying, spread her
+gauzy wings, and flew across the garden and up over the marble terraces
+and in at the library window of the palace.
+
+The King was reading the account of the birthday-party in the evening
+paper, and he did not notice the Princess at all till she settled on his
+ear. Then he put up his hand to brush her away, for he thought she was a
+fly. She dodged his hand and settled again, and shouted 'Papa!' into his
+ear as loud as ever she could. And the shout was no louder than a
+fly's buzzing, but, as it was close to his ear, the King heard it very
+distinctly.
+
+[Illustration: 'A black-winged monster, with hundreds and hundreds of
+eyes.'--Page 350]
+
+'Bless my soul!' said the King, sitting very bolt upright.
+
+'Don't move, daddy,' said the tiny Princess, 'even if I tickle your ear
+with my wings. I found a magic jewel in one of dear mother's cabinets,
+and I made it turn me into a fairy, and now a horrid fly has buzzed off
+with the jewel, and I can't get back to my right size.'
+
+'I must be dreaming,' said the King.
+
+'I wish you were--I mean I wish I was--but it's true. I'll settle on
+your hand now, and you'll see.'
+
+The King looked at the tiny winged thing--flower-fairy size--that
+settled on his hand. And he put on his spectacles and looked again. And
+then he got a magnifying-glass and looked through that.
+
+'Yes,' he said, 'it certainly is you! What a thing to happen, and on
+your birthday, too! Oh dear! oh dear!'
+
+'It _is_ rather hard, daddy,' said the poor Princess; 'but you are so
+wise and clever, you'll be able to get me back to my right size again.'
+
+'My dear,' said the King, 'I received a thorough commercial education,
+but I never learned magic. In fact, I doubt whether it is still taught
+even at Oxford.'
+
+'Daddy dear,'said the Princess shyly, 'I've read a good many books about
+magic--fairy-tales they're called, you know--and----'
+
+'Yes,' said the King, who saw at once what she meant. 'Of course, I
+shall do that first thing.'
+
+And next morning all the newspapers contained an advertisement:
+
+ 'Wanted, competent Prince to undo magic and restore Princesses to
+ their right size. None but eldest sons need apply. The usual reward
+ offered. Apply at the palace.'
+
+'I think _that's_ a mistake, daddy,' said the Princess; 'in the fairy
+stories it's always the youngest son who makes everything come right.
+And people don't know their fairy history nowadays; they mayn't know
+what the reward is.'
+
+So the next day the advertisement was changed to:
+
+ 'Any sons of respectable monarchs may apply. The successful
+ candidate will receive the Princess's hand in marriage.'
+
+'It's all very well to put that in,' said the Princess to herself, 'but
+if I don't like him I shan't marry him. I'll give him all my jewels
+instead.'
+
+But all the Kings' sons in the world had forgotten their magic, if they
+ever knew any, and not one single Prince applied at the palace.
+
+So the Princess had to do the only possible thing--make the best of it.
+And she did it bravely.
+
+Now, when the fly, whose name, by the way, was Muscadel, flew off from
+the foxglove-bell with the magic jewel on his feathery foot, he flew
+straight to the Princess's boudoir and settled down on his favourite
+spot, the corner of the frame of her mirror. And there he sat and
+wondered how he could best use the magic jewel. And he thought so hard
+that he never noticed a large spider who spun a web right across the
+corner where he sat, and when he spread his wings to assist his
+meditations by a little exercise he was caught in the web.
+
+'Aha!' said the spider, smiling greedily.
+
+'Oh dear! oh dear!' said the fly.
+
+'How nice you look!' said the spider.
+
+Then very slowly and carefully she began to move towards him.
+
+'What a terrible thing it is to be a fly!' said he. 'I wish I was a
+spider.'
+
+And, of course, instantly he was. He broke the web and scrambled down
+the mirror, for he was still horribly frightened of the other spider. He
+got out of the window and down into the garden, and hid himself under a
+leaf of a burdock, which was there because the gardener was a lazy
+fellow and neglected his business.
+
+But it's an ill wind that blows nobody any good. Before Muscadel had got
+his breath after the shock of that dreadful web he saw a slow,
+wrinkled-skinned creature, with bright yellow eyes, quite close to him.
+It was a toad, and he knew that toads eat spiders.
+
+'Oh, a spider's life isn't worth living!' he cried; 'I wish I was a
+toad.'
+
+And, of course, he was, for the magic jewel was still on his front foot.
+
+Now that Muscadel was a toad he felt he should like to find a quiet damp
+place to live in, so he crawled to the edge of the basin of the palace
+fountain.
+
+And when he had found a nice damp crack in the marble he squeezed in and
+stayed there for some days. But one day, when he went out for a breath
+of air and a woodlouse or two, a great beak clattered quite near him,
+and startled him so that he nearly jumped out of his toad's skin.
+
+The person with a beak was a stork, and Muscadel knew what the stork
+wanted.
+
+'Oh, a toad's life is a dog's life,' said Muscadel; 'I wish I was a
+stork.'
+
+So he was a stork, and the magic jewel, grown bigger, was round his
+right leg.
+
+It was fine to be a stork, and he did not envy even the golden eagle
+that flew down to drink at the fountain. And when the eagle came within
+a yard or two of him he felt so large and brave that he said:
+
+'Keep to your own side, will you? Where are you shoving to?'
+
+The golden eagle, whose temper is very short, looked at him with evil
+golden eyes, and said:
+
+'You'll soon see where I am shoving to,' and flew at him.
+
+Muscadel saw that he had made a mistake that might cost him his life.
+
+'Oh, what's the good of being a stork?' he said. 'I wish I was an
+eagle.'
+
+And as soon as he was one he flew away, leaving the other eagle with its
+beak open in amazement, too much 'struck of a heap,' as he told his
+wife afterwards, to follow the new bird and finish off their quarrel in
+the air.
+
+'Oh, how grand it is to be an eagle!' said Muscadel, sailing on
+widespread wings; and just as he said it an arrow caught him under the
+left wing. It hurt horribly. 'What a powerful thing an arrow is!' he
+said. 'Dear me, how it hurts! I wish I was an arrow.'
+
+So he was one, but he was an arrow in the quiver of a very stupid
+bowman, who shot next day at a buzzard and missed it. So the arrow,
+which was Muscadel, lodged high in an oak-tree, and the stupid bowman
+could not get it down again.
+
+'I don't like being a slave to a mere bow,' said Muscadel; 'I'll be a
+bow myself.'
+
+But when he was a bow the archer who owned him hurt his bow-back so in
+fitting him with a new string that he got very cross, and said:
+
+'This is worse slavery than the other. I want to be an archer.'
+
+So he was an archer. And as it happened he was one of the King's
+archers. The magic jewel was round his arm like a bracelet, and no one
+saw it, for he kept it hidden up his arm under the sleeve of his buff
+coat.
+
+Now that Muscadel was a man, of course, he read the newspapers, and in
+them he saw the King's advertisement, which was still appearing every
+day.
+
+'Dear me!' said Muscadel; 'of course the Princess couldn't get back to
+her right size when I had taken the magic jewel away. I never thought of
+that. Flies are thoughtless little things. And, by the way, taking that
+jewel was stealing. Very wrong indeed. But I didn't know that when I was
+a fly. So _I'm_ not a thief, and no more was the fly, because he didn't
+know any better.'
+
+That evening he had a little talk with the captain of the King's
+archers, and in the morning the captain called on the King very early
+and said:
+
+'Sire, there's a crack-brained chap among my archers who says he can
+make the Princess her right size again. Of course, it's all tommy-rot,
+your Majesty, if I may be pardoned the expression, but I thought your
+Majesty would like to know.'
+
+'Oh, let him try,' said the King wearily; 'it's something to find
+someone who even thinks he can do it.'
+
+So next day Muscadel, the archer, put on his Sunday clothes and went up
+to the palace, and a great, red-faced, burly fellow he was.
+
+The King and all the Court were assembled to see the archer make the
+Princess her own size again, though nobody believed he could do it.
+
+The King was on his throne, and Pandora, still flower-fairy size, was
+sitting on one of the carved gold flowers that adorned the throne's
+right arm.
+
+The archer bowed to the King and the Court, and to the Princess, though
+he could not see her.
+
+Then he looked round the crowded throne-room and said:
+
+'Look here, your Majesty, this will never do.'
+
+'Eh?' said the King.
+
+'Magic can't be done in this sort of public way. I must be left alone
+with the Princess. No; I can't have anyone bothering round. Not even
+you, your Majesty.'
+
+The King was rather offended, but the Princess got to his ear and
+whispered, and then he gave the order for the throne-room to be cleared;
+and when that was done, he set the tiny Princess on the table, and went
+away himself and shut the door honourably behind him.
+
+[Illustration: "On the table stood the dazzling figure of a real
+full-sized princess."--Page 359.]
+
+Then the archer said:
+
+'Little Princess, you can be made your right size again if you will do
+just what I tell you. Do you promise?'
+
+The Princess's little voice said, 'Yes.'
+
+'Well, then,' said the archer, 'I have got the jewel here that the fly
+stole from you, and I will lend it to you, and you can wish yourself
+Princess-size again, and then you must give me back the jewel.'
+
+'Why, the jewel was stolen! You've no right to it. I shall call the
+guard,' said Pandora angrily.
+
+'They wouldn't hear you, little Princess, if you did call,' said the
+archer; 'but I'll call them for you if you like. Only you promised.'
+
+'So I did,' said the Princess. 'Well, lend me the jewel.'
+
+He took it off his arm and laid it upon the table, and as soon as the
+Princess touched it, it grew small, small, small, so that she could put
+it on her finger. Then she said:
+
+'I wish I were my right size again!'
+
+And the archer rubbed his eyes, for there on the table stood the
+dazzling figure of a real, full-sized Princess in a cloth-of-silver
+gown, and a face more beautiful than the morning.
+
+'Oh, how lovely you are!' he said, and gave her his hand to help her
+down.
+
+She jumped lightly from the table and stood before him, laughing with
+joy at being her own real right size once more.
+
+'Oh, thank you! thank you!' she cried; 'I must run and show my father
+this very minute.'
+
+'The jewel?' said the archer.
+
+'Oh!' said Pandora. 'Well, yes, I did promise, but--well, I'm a Princess
+of my word. Here it is.'
+
+She held it out, but he did not take it.
+
+'You may keep it for ever and ever, Princess dear,' he said, 'if you
+will only marry me.'
+
+'Oh, I can't!' she cried. 'I'm never going to marry anyone unless I love
+him more than all the world.'
+
+'I feel as if I'd loved you all my lives,' said Muscadel--'all my life,
+I mean. Couldn't you wish to love me?'
+
+'I don't think I want to,' said the Princess doubtfully.
+
+'Then I must have the jewel. I'll find some way yet of making you love
+me, and then you shall have it for ever and ever.'
+
+'If I loved you,' said she, 'I suppose I shouldn't mind your having red
+hair, and a red face, and red ears, and red hands, should I?'
+
+'Not a bit,' said the archer cheerfully.
+
+She stood there, twisting the magic jewel round and round on her Royal
+finger.
+
+'I suppose it's more important than anything else to love someone?' she
+said.
+
+'Much,' said he.
+
+'Well, then,' said she, 'but are you the sort of person I ought to
+love?'
+
+'No,' said he, 'I'm not half good enough for you. But then nobody is.'
+
+'That's nice of you, anyhow,' she said. 'I'll do it. I wish I loved
+you!'
+
+There was a silence. Then Pandora said:
+
+'Nothing's happened. I don't love you. I feel just the same as usual.
+Your hair, and hands, and face, and ears are redder than ever. You'll
+excuse my candour, won't you?'
+
+'Then there's nothing for it but for me to wish not to love you,' said
+Muscadel, 'for I really can't bear loving you to this desperate degree
+when you don't care a snap of your Royal fingers for me. Lend me the
+jewel a moment. You shall have it back. If you don't care for me, I
+don't want to care for anything. I'll live and die a red-faced,
+red-eared, red-haired, red-handed archer, so I will.'
+
+The Princess lent him the jewel, and he wished and waited. Then, 'It's
+no good,' he said; 'I adore you as much as ever--more, if possible.'
+
+'Ah, I see,' said the Princess; 'there _is_ one thing that the magic
+ring won't touch. I suppose that's love. How funny!'
+
+'I don't think it's funny at all,' said he. 'I suppose really it's
+because you're not the sort of person that could love the sort of person
+I am.'
+
+'Well, then,' said she, 'I'll wish I was the sort of person who _could_.
+I won't be made a silly of by a stupid magic jewel. Only let me call my
+father, because goodness knows what sort of person the person who could
+love you would be like. _I_ can't imagine anyone who could!'
+
+'You may be as cruel as you like now,' said Muscadel, 'if only somehow
+or other you'll get to love me afterwards. I will call the King.'
+
+So he went to the door and shouted:
+
+'Hi, your Majesty! Step this way for a moment, will you, please?'
+
+And His Majesty stepped.
+
+'Look here, daddy,' said the Princess, 'I'm real Princess size again, so
+give me a kiss!'
+
+[Illustration: 'A blowzy, frowzy dairymaid.' Page 363.]
+
+When this was done she said very quickly, and before the King could stop
+her:
+
+'I wish I was the kind of person that could love this archer.'
+
+And then and there, before the horrified eyes of the other two, the
+Princess turned into the kind of person who could love the archer.
+
+'Bless my soul and body!' said the King, turning purple.
+
+'Oh, my heart!' said Muscadel, turning white.
+
+For the kind of person the Princess had changed into was a blowzy,
+frowzy dairymaid, with oily black hair and shining red cheeks, and
+little black eyes like the currant eyes in gingerbread pigs. Her hands
+were fat and red, and her feet would not bear looking at for a moment.
+
+'Good old Muscadel!' said the dairymaid that Pandora had turned into;
+'now we'll be married and live as happy as two mice in a cheese!'
+
+'Never in this world!' cried Muscadel, snatching the ring from her hand,
+which was not manners, but we must remember that he was very much upset.
+He snatched the ring, and he rushed out of the room and out of the
+palace, and when he got to the archers' quarters he flung himself face
+down among the rushes on the floor, and lay there till his comrades
+began to mock him and even to kick him as he lay; and then he got up and
+fought them with his red fists, one down, t'other come on, till seven of
+them had owned that they did not want any more.
+
+'Oh dear! oh dear!' said the King in his palace; 'I'd rather have had
+you flower-fairy size for life than like this! We must get back the
+jewel and make you into your old self.'
+
+'Not a bit of it,' said the dairymaid Princess. 'I never was so happy in
+my life. I love that lovely archer, and if I'm a Princess you can order
+him to marry me, and he'll have to.'
+
+'Lackaday!' said the King. 'Dairymaids don't seem to love like
+Princesses do.'
+
+'I dare say not,' said she, 'but we know our own minds. I tell you I'm
+happy, governor, and I'll stay as I am.'
+
+The dairymaid Princess called for cold pork and cheese and beer, and,
+having had quite enough of all three, she went to bed in the Princess's
+green and white bedroom.
+
+Now, when all the archers had gone to sleep poor Muscadel stole out and
+wandered through the palace gardens, and looked at the white fountains
+rising and falling in the moonlight. He saw the white lilies sleeping
+standing up, just like real live sentinels. He saw the white pea-cocks
+roosting in the yew-trees, and the white swans cuddled up among the
+reeds by the lake. He went hither and thither through the cold white
+beauty of the night, and he thought and thought, but he could not think
+any thought that was worth the trouble of thinking.
+
+And at last he sat down on a marble bench and very nearly wished that he
+were dead. Not quite, of course, because people very seldom do that; and
+if he had there would have been an end to this story.
+
+The silence and the moonlight soothed him; his poor brain felt clearer
+and brighter, and at last he had the sense to say, without at all
+knowing that he was saying anything sensible, 'I wish I was clever.'
+
+And instantly he was.
+
+The change was so great, so sudden, and so violent that it nearly choked
+him. He drew two or three difficult breaths, and then he said:
+
+'Oh, I see! How stupid of me! I wish I were the kind of person the real
+Princess could love.'
+
+And he felt his body change. He grew thinner, and his face seemed to
+grow a different shape. He hastened to the lake and leaned over it, and
+saw by the moonlight the reflection of his own face in the water. It was
+not particularly handsome, but he was not ashamed of the deep-set eyes,
+largish nose, and firm lips and chin.
+
+'So that's the sort of man she could love!' he said, and went home to
+bed like a sensible person.
+
+Early in the morning he went out into the palace garden, and it was not
+all gray and white, as it had been the night before, with moonlight and
+white lilies, but gold and red, with sunshine and roses, and hollyhocks
+and carnations.
+
+He went and waited under the Princess's window, for he had grown clever
+enough to know that the Princess, since she was now a dairymaid, would
+be awake betimes. And sure enough the green silk curtains were presently
+drawn back, and the drowsy, blowzy, frowzy face of the dairymaid looked
+out.
+
+'Halloa!' she said to Muscadel, among the roses, 'what are _you_ up to?'
+
+'I am the archer you love,' said Muscadel, among the roses.
+
+'Not you,' she said.
+
+'But indeed!' said he.
+
+[Illustration: '"You've got a face as long as a fiddle."'--Page 367.]
+
+'Lawks!' said the dairymaid.
+
+'Don't you love me like this?' said Muscadel.
+
+'Not a bit,' said she; 'go along, do! You've got a face as long as a
+fiddle, and I never could abide black hair.'
+
+'I'm going to stay like this,' said he.
+
+'Then what's to become of me?' she asked, and waited for an answer with
+her mouth half open.
+
+'I'll tell you,' said Muscadel. 'You can stay as you are all your life,
+and go on loving an archer who isn't anywhere at all, or I'll lend you
+the magic jewel, and then you can change back into the Princess. And
+when you're the Princess, you'll love me ever so much more than you ever
+loved the archer.'
+
+'Humph!' said the dairymaid, fingering the Princess's pearl necklace.
+'Well, if my dear archer really isn't any more, anywhere---- As you say,
+the really important thing is to love someone.' Although she was a silly
+dairymaid she had the sense to see that. 'Give me the jewel,' she said.
+
+He threw it up, and she caught it overhand, put it on, and said:
+
+'I wish I was the Princess again.'
+
+And there was the Princess leaning out of the window and covering her
+face with her hands.
+
+'Look at me,' said Muscadel; 'am I the sort of person you could love?'
+
+'I don't know,' said Pandora, peeping at him between her rosy
+finger-tips. 'You had better ask papa.'
+
+'I'd rather ask you,' said Muscadel, as he climbed up the palace ivy and
+leaned in at her window-sill to ask her.
+
+And she leaned out to answer him.
+
+ * * * * *
+
+They were married the very next day, and everyone in the kingdom, rich
+and poor, had roast beef and plum-pudding for dinner.
+
+And as soon as the wedding was over, Muscadel and his bride went down to
+the lake, and he threw the magic jewel far, far out. It gleamed redly as
+it flew through the sunlit air and with a tiny splash sank in the lake,
+and there it is to this day. You might try to find it one of these days
+when you have nothing better to do. I dare say you often feel that you
+would like to change from what you are into something else, and, for
+anything I know, it might be a very good thing for you, and for the rest
+of the world.
+
+But Pandora and Muscadel were so happy at belonging to each other that
+they never wished to change at all, so they did not want the magic ring,
+and that is why they threw it away. For, as all good housekeepers know,
+it is very foolish to keep useless things about--just to litter the
+house up.
+
+
+THE END
+
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