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You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: The Calm Man + +Author: Frank Belknap Long + +Release Date: April 21, 2009 [EBook #28583] + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ISO-8859-1 + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE CALM MAN *** + + + + +Produced by Greg Weeks, Stephen Blundell and the Online +Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net + + + + + + +</pre> + + +<div class="bk1"><p><i><small>Dip the pen of a Frank Belknap Long into a bottle of ink and the result +is always bound to be a scintillating piece of brilliant imaginative +science fiction. And he's done it again in the tortured story of Sally.</small></i></p></div> + +<div class="bk2"> + +<h1>the<br /> +calm<br /> +man</h1> + +<h2><small><i>by ... Frank Belknap Long</i></small></h2> + +<p class="pr1"><big><b>Sally watched the molten gold glow in the sky. Then knew she +would not see her son and her husband ever again on Earth.</b></big></p></div> + +<p><span class="smcap">Sally Anders</span> had never really +thought of herself as a wallflower. +A girl could be shy, couldn't she, +and still be pretty enough to attract +and hold men?</p> + +<p>Only this morning she had +drawn an admiring look from the +milkman and a wolf cry from +Jimmy on the corner, with his +newspapers and shiny new bike. +What if the milkman was crowding +sixty and wore thick-lensed +glasses? What if Jimmy was only +seventeen?</p> + +<p>A male was a male, and a +glance was a glance. Why, if I +just primp a little more, Sally told +herself, I'll be irresistible.</p> + +<p>Hair ribbons and perfume, a +mirror tilted at just the right +angle, an invitation to a party on +the dresser—what more did a girl +need?</p> + +<p>"Dinner, Sally!" came echoing +up from the kitchen. "Do you +want to be late, child?"</p> + +<p>Sally had no intention of being +late. Tonight she'd see him across +a crowded room and her heart +would skip a beat. He'd look at +her and smile, and come straight +toward her with his shoulders +squared.</p> + +<p>There was always one night in +a girl's life that stands above all +other nights. One night when the +moon shone bright and clear and +the clock on the wall went <i>tick +tock, tick tock, tick tock</i>. One +night when each tick said, "You're +beautiful! Really beautiful!"</p> + +<p>Giving her hair a final pat Sally +smiled at herself in the mirror.</p> + +<p>In the bathroom the water was +still running and the perfumed +bath soap still spread its aromatic +sweet odor through the room. +Sally went into the bathroom and +turned off the tap before going +downstairs to the kitchen.</p> + +<p>"My girl looks radiant tonight!" +Uncle Ben said, smiling at her +over his corned beef and cabbage.</p> + +<p>Sally blushed and lowered her +eyes.</p> + +<p>"Ben, you're making her nervous," +Sally's mother said, laughing.</p> + +<p>Sally looked up and met her +uncle's stare, her eyes defiant. +"I'm not bad-looking whatever +you may think," she said.</p> + +<p>"Oh, now, Sally," Uncle Ben +protested. "No sense in getting on +a high horse. Tonight you may +find a man who just won't be able +to resist you."</p> + +<p>"Maybe I will and maybe I +won't," Sally said. "You'd be surprised +if I did, wouldn't you?"</p> + +<p>It was Uncle Ben's turn to lower +his eyes.</p> + +<p>"I'll tell the world you've inherited +your mother's looks, +Sally," he said. "But a man has to +pride himself on something. My +defects of character are pretty +bad. But no one has ever accused +me of dishonesty."</p> + +<p>Sally folded her napkin and +rose stiffly from the table.</p> + +<p>"Good night, Uncle," she said.</p> + +<p>When Sally arrived at the party +every foot of floor space was taken +up by dancing couples and the +reception room was so crowded +that, as each new guest was announced, +a little ripple of displeasure +went through the men in +midnight blue and the women in +Nile green and lavender.</p> + +<p>For a moment Sally did not +move, just stood staring at the +dancing couples, half-hidden by +one of the potted palms that +framed the sides of the long room.</p> + +<p>Moonlight silvered her hair and +touched her white throat and arms +with a caress so gentle that simply +by closing her eyes she could +fancy herself already in his arms.</p> + +<p>Moonlight from tall windows +flooding down, turning the dancing +guests into pirouetting ghosts +in diaphanous blue and green, +scarlet and gold.</p> + +<p><i>Close your eyes, Sally, close +them tight! Now open them! +That's it ... Slowly, slowly ...</i></p> + +<p>He came out of nothingness +into the light and was right beside +her suddenly.</p> + +<p>He was tall, but not too tall. +His face was tanned mahogany +brown, and his eyes were clear +and very bright. And he stood +there looking at her steadily until +her mouth opened and a little +gasp flew out.</p> + +<p>He took her into his arms without +a word and they started to +dance ...</p> + +<p>They were still dancing when +he asked her to be his wife.</p> + +<p>"You'll marry me, of course," +he said. "We haven't too much +time. The years go by so swiftly, +like great white birds at sea."</p> + +<p>They were very close when he +asked her, but he made no attempt +to kiss her. They went right on +dancing and while he waited for +her answer he talked about the +moon ...</p> + +<p>"When the lights go out and +the music stops the moon will remain," +he said. "It raises tides on +the Earth, it inflames the minds +and hearts of men. There are +cyclic rhythms which would set a +stone to dreaming and desiring on +such a night as this."</p> + +<p>He stopped dancing abruptly +and looked at her with calm assurance.</p> + +<p>"You <i>will</i> marry me, won't +you?" he asked. "Allowing for a +reasonable margin of error I +seriously doubt if I could be happy +with any of these other women. I +was attracted to you the instant +I saw you."</p> + +<p>A girl who has never been +asked before, who has drawn only +one lone wolf cry from a newsboy +could hardly be expected to resist +such an offer.</p> + +<p><i>Don't resist, Sally. He's strong +and tall and extremely good-looking. +He knows what he wants and +makes up his mind quickly. Surely +a man so resolute must make +enough money to support a wife.</i></p> + +<p>"Yes," Sally breathed, snuggling +close to him. "Oh, yes!"</p> + +<p>She paused a moment, then +said, "You may kiss me now if +you wish, my darling."</p> + +<p>He straightened and frowned a +little, and looked away quickly. +"That can wait," he said.</p> + +<hr /> + +<p>They were married a week +later and went to live on an elm-shaded +street just five blocks from +where Sally was born. The cottage +was small, white and attractively +decorated inside and out. +But Sally changed the curtains, as +all women must, and bought +some new furniture on the installment +plan.</p> + +<p>The neighbors were friendly +folk who knew her husband as +Mr. James Rand, an energetic +young insurance broker who +would certainly carve a wider +swath for himself in his chosen +profession now that he had so +charming a wife.</p> + +<p>Ten months later the first baby +came.</p> + +<p>Lying beneath cool white sheets +in the hospital Sally looked at +the other women and felt so deliriously +happy she wanted to cry. +It was a beautiful baby and it +cuddled close to her heart, its +smallness a miracle in itself.</p> + +<p>The other husbands came in +and sat beside their wives, holding +on tight to their happiness. There +were flowers and smiles, whispers +that explored bright new worlds +of tenderness and rejoicing.</p> + +<p>Out in the corridor the husbands +congratulated one another +and came in smelling of cigar +smoke.</p> + +<p>"Have a cigar! That's right. +Eight pounds at birth. That's unusual, +isn't it? Brightest kid you +ever saw. Knew his old man +right off."</p> + +<p>He was beside her suddenly, +standing straight and still in +shadows.</p> + +<p>"Oh, darling," she whispered. +"Why did you wait? It's been three +whole days."</p> + +<p>"Three days?" he asked, leaning forward +to stare down at his +son. "Really! It didn't seem that +long."</p> + +<p>"Where were you? You didn't +even phone!"</p> + +<p>"Sometimes it's difficult to +phone," he said slowly, as if +measuring his words. "You have +given me a son. That pleases me +very much."</p> + +<p>A coldness touched her heart +and a despair took hold of her. +"It pleases you! Is that all you can +say? You stand there looking at +me as if I were a—a patient ..."</p> + +<p>"A patient?" His expression +grew quizzical. "Just what do you +mean, Sally?"</p> + +<p>"You said you were pleased. +If a patient is ill her doctor hopes +that she will get well. He is +pleased when she does. If a +woman has a baby a doctor will +say, 'I'm so pleased. The baby is +doing fine. You don't have to +worry about him. I've put him on +the scales and he's a bouncing, +healthy boy.'"</p> + +<p>"Medicine is a sane and wise +profession," Sally's husband said. +"When I look at my son that is +exactly what I would say to the +mother of my son. He is healthy +and strong. You have pleased me, +Sally."</p> + +<p>He bent as he spoke and picked +Sally's son up. He held the infant +in the crook of his arm, smiling +down at it.</p> + +<p>"A healthy male child," he said. +"His hair will come in thick and +black. Soon he will speak, will +know that I am his father."</p> + +<p>He ran his palm over the baby's +smooth head, opened its mouth +gently with his forefinger and +looked inside.</p> + +<p>Sally rose on one elbow, her +tormented eyes searching his face.</p> + +<p>"He's your child, your son!" +she sobbed. "A woman has a +child and her husband comes and +puts his arms around her. He +holds her close. If they love each +other they are so happy, so very +happy, they break down and cry."</p> + +<p>"I am too pleased to do anything +so fantastic, Sally," he said. +"When a child is born no tears +should be shed by its parents. I +have examined the child and I +am pleased with it. Does not that +content you?"</p> + +<p>"No, it doesn't!" Sally almost +shrieked. "Why do you stare at +your own son as if you'd never +seen a baby before? He isn't a +mechanical toy. He's our own +darling, adorable little baby. <i>Our +child!</i> How can you be so <i>inhumanly</i> +calm?"</p> + +<p>He frowned, put the baby +down.</p> + +<p>"There is a time for love-making +and a time for parenthood," +he said. "Parenthood is a serious +responsibility. That is where +medicine comes in, surgery. If a +child is not perfect there are +emergency measures which can be +taken to correct the defect."</p> + +<p>Sally's mouth went suddenly +dry. "Perfect! What do you mean, +Jim? Is there something <i>wrong</i> +with Tommy?"</p> + +<p>"I don't think so," her husband +said. "His grasp is firm and strong. +He has good hearing and his eyesight +appears to be all that could +be desired. Did you notice how +his eyes followed me every moment?"</p> + +<p>"I wasn't looking at his eyes!" +Sally whispered, her voice tight +with alarm. "Why are you trying +to frighten me, Jim? If Tommy +wasn't a normal, healthy baby do +you imagine for one instant they +would have placed him in my +arms?"</p> + +<p>"That is a very sound observation," +Sally's husband said. +"Truth is truth, but to alarm you +at a time like this would be unnecessarily +cruel."</p> + +<p>"Where does that put you?"</p> + +<p>"I simply spoke my mind as the +child's father. I had to speak as +I did because of my natural concern +for the health of our child. +Do you want me to stay and talk +to you, Sally?"</p> + +<p>Sally shook her head. "No, +Jim. I won't let you torture me +any more."</p> + +<p>Sally drew the baby into her +arms again and held it tightly. +"I'll scream if you stay!" she +warned. "I'll become hysterical +unless you leave."</p> + +<p>"Very well," her husband said. +"I'll come back tomorrow."</p> + +<p>He bent as he spoke and kissed +her on the forehead. His lips were +ice cold.</p> + +<p>For eight years Sally sat across +the table from her husband at +breakfast, her eyes fixed upon a +nothingness on the green-blue wall +at his back. Calm he remained +even while eating. The eggs she +placed before him he cracked +methodically with a knife and +consumed behind a tilted newspaper, +taking now an assured sip +of coffee, now a measured glance +at the clock.</p> + +<p>The presence of his young son +bothered him not at all. Tommy +could be quiet or noisy, in trouble +at school, or with an <i>A</i> for good +conduct tucked with his report +card in his soiled leather zipper +jacket. It was always: "Eat slowly, +my son. Never gulp your food. +Be sure to take plenty of exercise +today. Stay in the sun as much +as possible."</p> + +<p>Often Sally wanted to shriek: +"Be a father to him! A real father! +Get down on the floor and play +with him. Shoot marbles with +him, spin one of his tops. Remember +the toy locomotive you +gave him for Christmas after I got +hysterical and screamed at you? +Remember the beautiful little +train? Get it out of the closet and +wreck it accidentally. He'll warm +up to you then. He'll be broken-hearted, +but he'll feel close to you, +then you'll know what it means to +have a son!"</p> + +<p>Often Sally wanted to fly at +him, beat with her fists on his +chest. But she never did.</p> + +<p><i>You can't warm a stone by +slapping it, Sally. You'd only +bruise yourself. A stone is neither +cruel nor tender. You've married +a man of stone, Sally.</i></p> + +<p>He hasn't missed a day at the +office in eight years. She'd never +visited the office but he was always +there to answer when she phoned. +"I'm very busy, Sally. What did +you say? You've bought a new +hat? I'm sure it will look well on +you, Sally. What did you say? +Tommy got into a fight with a new +boy in the neighborhood? You +must take better care of him, +Sally."</p> + +<p>There are patterns in every +marriage. When once the mold +has set, a few strange behavior +patterns must be accepted as a +matter of course.</p> + +<p>"I'll drop in at the office tomorrow, +darling!" Sally had +promised right after the breakfast +pattern had become firmly established. +The desire to see where +her husband worked had been +from the start a strong, bright +flame in her. But he asked her to +wait a while before visiting his +office.</p> + +<p>A strong will can dampen the +brightest flame, and when months +passed and he kept saying 'no,' +Sally found herself agreeing with +her husband's suggestion that the +visit be put off indefinitely.</p> + +<p>Snuff a candle and it stays +snuffed. A marriage pattern once +established requires a very special +kind of re-kindling. Sally's husband +refused to supply the needed +spark.</p> + +<p>Whenever Sally had an impulse +to turn her steps in the direction +of the office a voice deep in her +mind seemed to whisper: "No +sense in it, Sally. Stay away. He's +been mean and spiteful about it +all these years. Don't give in to +him now by going."</p> + +<p>Besides, Tommy took up so +much of her time. A growing boy +was always a problem and Tommy +seemed to have a special gift for +getting into things because he was +so active. And he went through +his clothes, wore out his shoes +almost faster than she could replace +them.</p> + +<p>Right now Tommy was playing +in the yard. Sally's eyes came to +a focus upon him, crouching by a +hole in the fence which kindly old +Mrs. Wallingford had erected as a +protection against the prying inquisitiveness +of an eight-year-old +determined to make life miserable +for her.</p> + +<p>A thrice-widowed neighbor of +seventy without a spiteful hair in +her head could put up with a boy +who rollicked and yelled perhaps. +But peep-hole spying was another +matter.</p> + +<p>Sally muttered: "Enough of +that!" and started for the kitchen +door. Just as she reached it the +telephone rang.</p> + +<p>Sally went quickly to the phone +and lifted the receiver. The instant +she pressed it to her ear she +recognized her husband's voice—or +thought she did.</p> + +<p>"Sally, come to the office!" +came the voice, speaking in a +hoarse whisper. "Hurry—or it will +be too late! Hurry, Sally!"</p> + +<p>Sally turned with a startled +gasp, looked out through the +kitchen window at the autumn +leaves blowing crisp and dry +across the lawn. As she looked +the scattered leaves whirled into +a flurry around Tommy, then +lifted and went spinning over the +fence and out of sight.</p> + +<p>The dread in her heart gave +way to a sudden, bleak despair. +As she turned from the phone +something within her withered, +became as dead as the drifting +leaves with their dark autumnal +mottlings.</p> + +<p>She did not even pause to call +Tommy in from the yard. She +rushed upstairs, then down again, +gathering up her hat, gloves and +purse, making sure she had +enough change to pay for the taxi.</p> + +<p>The ride to the office was a +nightmare ... Tall buildings swept +past, facades of granite as gray +as the leaden skies of mid-winter, +beehives of commerce where men +and women brushed shoulders +without touching hands.</p> + +<p>Autumnal leaves blowing, and +the gray buildings sweeping past. +Despite Tommy, despite everything +there was no shining vision +to warm Sally from within. A cottage +must be lived in to become a +home and Sally had never really +had a home.</p> + +<p>One-night stand! It wasn't an +expression she'd have used by +choice, but it came unbidden into +her mind. If you live for nine +years with a man who can't relax +and be human, who can't be warm +and loving you'll begin eventually +to feel you might as well live +alone. Each day had been like a +lonely sentinel outpost in a desert +waste for Sally.</p> + +<p>She thought about Tommy ... +Tommy wasn't in the least like his +father when he came racing home +from school, hair tousled, books +dangling from a strap. Tommy +would raid the pantry with unthinking +zest, invite other boys in +to look at the Westerns on TV, +and trade black eyes for marbles +with a healthy pugnacity.</p> + +<p>Up to a point Tommy <i>was</i> +normal, <i>was</i> healthy.</p> + +<p>But she had seen mirrored in +Tommy's pale blue eyes the same +abnormal calmness that was always +in his father's, and the look +of derisive withdrawal which made +him seem always to be staring +down at her from a height. And +it filled her with terror to see that +Tommy's mood could change as +abruptly and terrifyingly cold ...</p> + +<p>Tommy, her son. Tommy, no +longer boisterous and eager, but +sitting in a corner with his legs +drawn up, a faraway look in his +eyes. Tommy seeming to look +right through her, into space. +Tommy and Jim exchanging silent +understanding glances. Tommy +roaming through the cottage, staring +at his toys with frowning disapproval. +Tommy drawing back +when she tried to touch him.</p> + +<p><i>Tommy, Tommy, come back to +me!</i> How often she had cried out +in her heart when that coldness +came between them.</p> + +<p>Tommy drawing strange figures +on the floor with a piece of colored +chalk, then erasing them quickly +before she could see them, refusing +to let her enter his secret +child's world.</p> + +<p>Tommy picking up the cat and +stroking its fur mechanically, while +he stared out through the kitchen +window at rusty blackbirds on +the wing ...</p> + +<p>"This is the address you gave +me, lady. Sixty-seven Vine +Street," the cab driver was saying.</p> + +<p>Sally shivered, remembering +her husband's voice on the phone, +remembering where she was ... +"<i>Come to the office, Sally! Hurry, +hurry—or it will be too late!</i>"</p> + +<p>Too late for what? Too late to +recapture a happiness she had +never possessed?</p> + +<p>"This is it, lady!" the cab driver +insisted. "Do you want me to +wait?"</p> + +<p>"No," Sally said, fumbling for +her change purse. She descended +from the taxi, paid the driver and +hurried across the pavement to the +big office building with its mirroring +frontage of plate glass and +black onyx tiles.</p> + +<p>The firm's name was on the +directory board in the lobby, white +on black in beautifully embossed +lettering. White for hope, and +black for despair, mourning ...</p> + +<p>The elevator opened and closed +and Sally was whisked up eight +stories behind a man in a checkered +suit.</p> + +<p>"Eighth floor!" Sally whispered, +in sudden alarm. The elevator +jolted to an abrupt halt and the +operator swung about to glare at +her.</p> + +<p>"You should have told me +when you got on, Miss!" he complained.</p> + +<p>"Sorry," Sally muttered, stumbling +out into the corridor. How +horrible it must be to go to business +every day, she thought wildly. +To sit in an office, to thumb +through papers, to bark orders, to +be a machine.</p> + +<p>Sally stood very still for an +instant, startled, feeling her sanity +threatened by the very absurdity +of the thought. People who +worked in offices could turn for +escape to a cottage in the sunset's +glow, when they were set free by +the moving hands of a clock. +There could be a fierce joy at the +thought of deliverance, at the +prospect of going home at five +o'clock.</p> + +<p>But for Sally was the brightness, +the deliverance withheld. +The corridor was wide and deserted +and the black tiles with +their gold borders seemed to converge +upon her, hemming her +into a cool magnificence as structurally +somber as the architectural +embellishments of a costly mausoleum.</p> + +<p>She found the office with her +surface mind, working at cross-purposes +with the confusion and +swiftly mounting dread which +made her footsteps falter, her +mouth go dry.</p> + +<p><i>Steady, Sally! Here's the office, +here's the door. Turn the knob +and get it over with ...</i></p> + +<p>Sally opened the door and +stepped into a small, deserted reception +room. Beyond the reception +desk was a gate, and beyond +the gate a large central office +branched off into several smaller +offices.</p> + +<p>Sally paused only an instant. +It seemed quite natural to her that +a business office should be deserted +so late in the afternoon.</p> + +<p>She crossed the reception room +to the gate, passed through it, +utter desperation giving her +courage.</p> + +<p>Something within her whispered +that she had only to walk across +the central office, open the first +door she came to to find her +husband ...</p> + +<p>The first door combined privacy +with easy accessibility. The instant +she opened the door she +knew that she had been right to +trust her instincts. This was his +office ...</p> + +<p>He was sitting at a desk by the +window, a patch of sunset sky +visible over his right shoulder. His +elbows rested on the desk and his +hands were tightly locked as if he +had just stopped wringing them.</p> + +<p>He was looking straight at her, +his eyes wide and staring.</p> + +<p>"Jim!" Sally breathed. "Jim, +what's wrong?"</p> + +<p>He did not answer, did not +move or attempt to greet her in +any way. There was no color at +all in his face. His lips were +parted, his white teeth gleamed. +And he was more stiffly controlled +than usual—a control so intense +that for once Sally felt more alarm +than bitterness.</p> + +<p>There was a rising terror in her +now. And a slowly dawning horror. +The sunlight streamed in, +gleaming redly on his hair, his +shoulders. He seemed to be the +center of a flaming red ball ...</p> + +<p><i>He sent for you, Sally. Why +doesn't he get up and speak to +you, if only to pour salt on the +wounds you've borne for eight +long years?</i></p> + +<p><i>Poor Sally! You wanted a +strong, protective, old-fashioned +husband. What have you got instead?</i></p> + +<p>Sally went up to the desk and +looked steadily into eyes so calm +and blank that they seemed like +the eyes of a child lost in some +dreamy wonderland barred forever +to adult understanding.</p> + +<p>For an instant her terror ebbed +and she felt almost reassured. +Then she made the mistake of +bending more closely above him, +brushing his right elbow with her +sleeve.</p> + +<hr /> + +<p>That single light woman's +touch unsettled him. He started +to fall, sideways and very fast. +Topple a dead weight and it +crashes with a swiftness no opposing +force can counter-balance.</p> + +<p>It did Sally no good to clutch +frantically at his arm as he fell, +to tug and jerk at the slackening +folds of his suit. The heaviness of +his descending bulk dragged him +down and away from her, the +awful inertia of lifeless flesh.</p> + +<p>He thudded to the floor and +rolled over on his back, seeming +to shrink as Sally widened her +eyes upon him. He lay in a grotesque +sprawl at her feet, his jaw +hanging open on the gaping black +orifice of his mouth ...</p> + +<p>Sally might have screamed and +gone right on screaming—if she +had been a different kind of +woman. On seeing her husband +lying dead her impulse might have +been to throw herself down beside +him, give way to her grief in a +wild fit of sobbing.</p> + +<p>But where there was no grief +there could be no sobbing ...</p> + +<p>One thing only she did before +she left. She unloosed the collar +of the unmoving form on the floor +and looked for the small brown +mole she did not really expect to +find. The mole she knew to be on +her husband's shoulder, high up +on the left side.</p> + +<p>She had noticed things that +made her doubt her sanity; she +needed to see the little black mole +to reassure her ...</p> + +<p>She had noticed the difference +in the hair-line, the strange slant +of the eyebrows, the crinkly texture +of the skin where it should +have been smooth ...</p> + +<p>Something was wrong ... horribly, +weirdly wrong ...</p> + +<p>Even the hands of the sprawled +form seemed larger and hairier +than the hands of her husband. +Nevertheless it was important to +be sure ...</p> + +<p>The absence of the mole +clinched it.</p> + +<p>Sally crouched beside the body, +carefully readjusting the collar. +Then she got up and walked out +of the office.</p> + +<p>Some homecomings are joyful, +others cruel. Sitting in the taxi, +clenching and unclenching her +hands, Sally had no plan that +could be called a plan, no hope +that was more than a dim flickering +in a vast wasteland, bleak +and unexplored.</p> + +<p>But it was strange how one light +burning brightly in a cottage window +could make even a wasteland +seem small, could shrink and +diminish it until it became no +more than a patch of darkness +that anyone with courage might +cross.</p> + +<p>The light was in Tommy's room +and there was a whispering behind +the door. Sally could hear +the whispering as she tiptoed upstairs, +could see the light streaming +out into the hall.</p> + +<p>She paused for an instant at the +head of the stairs, listening. There +were two voices in the room, and +they were talking back and forth.</p> + +<p>Sally tiptoed down the hall, +stood with wildly beating heart +just outside the door.</p> + +<p>"She knows now, Tommy," the +deepest of the two voices said. +"We are very close, your mother +and I. She knows now that I sent +her to the office to find my 'stand +in.' Oh, it's an amusing term, +Tommy—an Earth term we'd +hardly use on Mars. But it's a +term your mother would understand."</p> + +<p>A pause, then the voice went +on, "You see, my son, it has taken +me eight years to repair the ship. +And in eight years a man can +wither up and die by inches if he +does not have a growing son to go +adventuring with him in the end."</p> + +<p>"Adventuring, father?"</p> + +<p>"You have read a good many +Earth books, my son, written +especially for boys. <i>Treasure +Island</i>, <i>Robinson Crusoe</i>, <i>Twenty +Thousand Leagues Under The +Sea</i>. What paltry books they are! +But in them there is a little of the +fire, a little of the glow of <i>our</i> +world."</p> + +<p>"No, father. I started them but +I threw them away for I did not +like them."</p> + +<p>"As you and I must throw +away all Earth things, my son. I +tried to be kind to your mother, +to be a good husband as husbands +go on Earth. But how could I +feel proud and strong and reckless +by her side? How could I share +her paltry joys and sorrows, chirp +with delight as a sparrow might +chirp hopping about in the grass? +Can an eagle pretend to be a +sparrow? Can the thunder muffle +its voice when two white-crested +clouds collide in the shining depths +of the night sky?"</p> + +<p>"You tried, father. You did +your best."</p> + +<p>"Yes, my son, I did try. But +if I had attempted to feign emotions +I did not feel your mother +would have seen through the pretense. +She would then have turned +from me completely. Without her +I could not have had you, my +son."</p> + +<p>"And now, father, what will +we do?"</p> + +<p>"Now the ship has been repaired +and is waiting for us. Every +day for eight years I went to the +hill and worked on the ship. It +was badly wrecked, my son, but +now my patience has been rewarded, +and every damaged astronavigation +instrument has been +replaced."</p> + +<p>"You never went to the office, +father? You never went at all?"</p> + +<p>"No, my son. My stand-in +worked at the office in my place. +I instilled in your mother's mind +an intense dislike and fear of the +office to keep her from ever coming +face to face with the stand-in. +She might have noticed the difference. +But I had to have a +stand-in, as a safeguard. Your +mother <i>might</i> have gone to the +office despite the mental block."</p> + +<p>"She's gone now, father. Why +did you send for her?"</p> + +<p>"To avoid what she would call +a scene, my son. That I could not +endure. I had the stand-in summon +her on the office telephone, +then I withdrew all vitality from +it. She will find it quite lifeless. +But it does not matter now. When +she returns we will be gone."</p> + +<p>"Was constructing the stand-in +difficult, father?"</p> + +<p>"Not for me, my son. On Mars +we have many androids, each constructed +to perform a specific +task. Some are ingenious beyond +belief—or would seem so to +Earthmen."</p> + +<p>There was a pause, then the +weaker of the two voices said, "I +will miss my mother. She tried to +make me happy. She tried very +hard."</p> + +<p>"You must be brave and strong, +my son. We are eagles, you and I. +Your mother is a sparrow, gentle +and dun-colored. I shall always +remember her with tenderness. +You want to go with me, don't +you?"</p> + +<p>"Yes, father. Oh, yes!"</p> + +<p>"Then come, my son. We must +hurry. Your mother will be returning +any minute now."</p> + +<p>Sally stood motionless, listening +to the voices like a spectator +sitting before a television screen. +A spectator can see as well as +hear, and Sally could visualize +her son's pale, eager face so clearly +there was no need for her to +move forward into the room.</p> + +<p>She could not move. And nothing +on Earth could have wrenched +a tortured cry from her. Grief and +shock may paralyze the mind and +will, but Sally's will was not +paralyzed.</p> + +<p>It was as if the thread of her +life had been cut, with only one +light left burning. Tommy was +that light. He would never change. +He would go from her forever. +But he would always be her son.</p> + +<p>The door of Tommy's room +opened and Tommy and his father +came out into the hall. Sally +stepped back into shadows and +watched them walk quickly down +the hall to the stairs, their voices +low, hushed. She heard them +descend the stairs, their footsteps +dwindle, die away into silence ...</p> + +<p><i>You'll see a light, Sally, a great +glow lighting up the sky. The ship +must be very beautiful. For eight +years he labored over it, restoring +it with all the shining gifts of skill +and feeling at his command. He +was calm toward you, but not toward +the ship, Sally—the ship +which will take him back to Mars!</i></p> + +<p>How is it on Mars, she wondered. +My son, Tommy, will become +a strong, proud adventurer +daring the farthest planet of the +farthest star?</p> + +<p>You can't stop a boy from adventuring. +Surprise him at his +books and you'll see tropical seas +in his eyes, a pearly nautilus, +Hong Kong and Valparaiso resplendent +in the dawn.</p> + +<p><i>There is no strength quite like +the strength of a mother, Sally. +Endure it, be brave ...</i></p> + +<p>Sally was at the window when +it came. A dazzling burst of radiance, +starting from the horizon's +rim and spreading across the +entire sky. It lit up the cottage +and flickered over the lawn, turning +rooftops to molten gold and +gilding the long line of rolling +hills which hemmed in the town.</p> + +<p>Brighter it grew and brighter, +gilding for a moment even Sally's +bowed head and her image mirrored +on the pane. Then, abruptly, +it was gone ...</p> + +<div class="trn"><b>Transcriber's Note:</b> +This etext was produced from <i>Fantastic Universe</i> May 1954. +Extensive research did not uncover any evidence that the U.S. +copyright on this publication was renewed. Minor spelling and +typographical errors have been corrected without note.</div> + + + + + + + + +<pre> + + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of The Calm Man, by Frank Belknap Long + +*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE CALM MAN *** + +***** This file should be named 28583-h.htm or 28583-h.zip ***** +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: + http://www.gutenberg.org/2/8/5/8/28583/ + +Produced by Greg Weeks, Stephen Blundell and the Online +Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net + + +Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions +will be renamed. + +Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no +one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation +(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without +permission and without paying copyright royalties. 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