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diff --git a/28305-h/28305-h.htm b/28305-h/28305-h.htm new file mode 100644 index 0000000..3dd9d00 --- /dev/null +++ b/28305-h/28305-h.htm @@ -0,0 +1,2681 @@ +<!DOCTYPE html PUBLIC "-//W3C//DTD XHTML 1.0 Strict//EN" + "http://www.w3.org/TR/xhtml1/DTD/xhtml1-strict.dtd"> + +<html xmlns="http://www.w3.org/1999/xhtml"> + <head> + <meta http-equiv="Content-Type" content="text/html;charset=iso-8859-1" /> + <title> + The Project Gutenberg eBook of A Likely Story, by William Dean Howells. + </title> + <style type="text/css"> + + + p { margin-top: .75em; + text-align: justify; + margin-bottom: .75em; + } + h1 { text-align: center; line-height: 1.5; clear: both; } + + h2,h3 { text-align: center; clear: both; } + + p.title { text-align: center; text-indent: 0; + font-weight: bold; + line-height: 1.4; margin-bottom: 3em; } + + hr { width: 33%; + margin-top: 2em; + margin-bottom: 2em; + margin-left: auto; + margin-right: auto; + clear: both; + } + + body{margin-left: 10%; + margin-right: 10%; + } + + .pagenum { /* uncomment the next line for invisible page numbers */ + /* visibility: hidden; */ + position: absolute; + left: 92%; + font-size: smaller; + text-align: right; + } /* page numbers */ + + .bbox {border: solid 2px; width: 60%; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;} + + .center {text-align: center;} + .smcap {font-variant: small-caps;} + + .caption {font-weight: bold;} + + .figcenter {margin: auto; text-align: center;} + +dd, li {margin-top: 0.50em; margin-bottom: 0; + line-height: 1.2em; /* a bit closer than p's */} +ul { list-style-type: none; + position: relative; + margin-right: 10%; + margin-left: 10%; + } +.lsoff { list-style-type: none; } + + ol.TOC { /* styling the Table of Contents */ + list-style-type: upper-roman; + position: relative; /* makes a "container" for span.tocright */ + margin-right: 10%; /* pulls the page#s in a skosh */ + margin-left: 10%; } + span.tocright { /* use absolute positioning to move page# right */ + position: absolute; right: 10%; + } + + .poem {margin-left:10%; margin-right:10%; text-align: left;} + .poem br {display: none;} + .poem .stanza {margin: 1em 0em 1em 0em;} + .poem span.i0 {display: block; margin-left: 0em; padding-left: 3em; text-indent: -3em;} + + </style> + </head> +<body> + + +<pre> + +The Project Gutenberg EBook of A Likely Story, by William Dean Howells + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: A Likely Story + +Author: William Dean Howells + +Release Date: March 11, 2009 [EBook #28305] + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ISO-8859-1 + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK A LIKELY STORY *** + + + + +Produced by David Edwards, Diane Monico, and the Online +Distributed Proofreading Team at https://www.pgdp.net (This +file was produced from scans of public domain material +produced by Microsoft for their Live Search Books site.) + + + + + + +</pre> + + + + + +<p class="figcenter" style="width: 389px;"> +<img src="images/image001.png" width="389" height="600" alt="(cover)" title="" /> +</p> + +<h1><small>A</small><br /> + +<span class="smcap">Likely Story</span></h1> + +<p class="title"><span class="smcap">by</span><br /><br /> +<span class="smcap"><big>W. D. Howells.</big></span></p> + +<p class="title"><span class="smcap">Harper's<br /> +Black & White<br /> +Series</span> +</p> + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<p class="title"><big>A LIKELY STORY</big></p> +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> + +<p class="figcenter" style="width: 600px;"> +<a name="THE_MOST_EXCITING_PART" id="THE_MOST_EXCITING_PART"></a> +<img src="images/image002.jpg" width="600" height="432" alt=""THE MOST EXCITING PART."" title=""THE MOST EXCITING PART."" /> +<span class="caption">"THE MOST EXCITING PART."</span> +</p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h1> +A LIKELY STORY<br /> +</h1> +<p class="title"><big>Farce</big><br /> +<br /></p> + +<p class="title"><small>BY</small><br /> +<big>W. D. HOWELLS</big> +<br /></p> + +<p class="title">ILLUSTRATED<br /> +</p> + +<p class="figcenter" style="width: 74px;"> +<img src="images/image003.png" width="74" height="120" alt="" title="" /> +</p> + +<p class="title">NEW YORK<br /> +HARPER AND BROTHERS<br /> +1894<br /> +</p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<div class="bbox"> +<p class="title"><big>Harper's "Black and White" Series.</big><br /> + +Illustrated. 32mo, Cloth, 50 cents each.<br /><br /> + + +<i>LATEST ISSUES:</i></p> + +<ul><li><span class="smcap">Five O'Clock Tea.</span> Farce. +By W. D. Howells.</li> + +<li><span class="smcap">The Mouse-Trap.</span> Farce. By +W. D. Howells.</li> + +<li><span class="smcap">A Likely Story.</span> Farce. By +W. D. Howells.</li> + +<li><span class="smcap">This Picture and That.</span> A +Comedy. By Brander Matthews.</li> + +<li><span class="smcap">Travels in America 100 Years +Ago.</span> By Thomas Twining.</li> + +<li><span class="smcap">My Year in a Log Cabin.</span> By +William Dean Howells.</li> + +<li><span class="smcap">Evening Dress.</span> A Farce. By +William Dean Howells.</li> + +<li><span class="smcap">The Work of Washington +Irving.</span> By Charles Dudley +Warner.</li> + +<li><span class="smcap">Edwin Booth.</span> By Laurence +Hutton.</li> + +<li><span class="smcap">Phillips Brooks.</span> By Rev. +Arthur Brooks, D.D.</li> + +<li><span class="smcap">The Decision of the Court.</span> +A Comedy. By Brander Matthews.</li> + +<li><span class="smcap">George William Curtis.</span> By +John White Chadwick.</li> + +<li><span class="smcap">The Unexpected Guests.</span> A +Farce. By William Dean +Howells.</li> + +<li><span class="smcap">Slavery and the Slave Trade +in Africa.</span> By Henry M. +Stanley.</li> + +<li><span class="smcap">The Rivals.</span> By François +Coppée.</li> + +<li><span class="smcap">Whittier: Notes of his Life +and of his Friendships.</span> By +Annie Fields.</li> + +<li><span class="smcap">The Japanese Bride.</span> By +Naomi Tamura.</li> + +<li><span class="smcap">Giles Corey, Yeoman.</span> By +Mary E. Wilkins.</li> + +<li><span class="smcap">Coffee and Repartee.</span> By +John Kendrick Bangs.</li></ul> + +<p class="center"><span class="smcap">Published by HARPER & BROTHERS, New York.</span></p> + +<p class="center"><i>For sale by all booksellers, or will be sent by the publishers, +postage prepaid, on receipt of price.</i></p> +</div> + +<p class="center"> +Copyright, 1894, by <span class="smcap">Harper & Brothers</span>.<br /> +<br /> +Copyright, 1885, by <span class="smcap">Harper & Brothers</span>.<br /> +<br /> +Copyright, 1885, by <span class="smcap">W. D. Howells</span>.<br /> +<br /> +<i><small>All rights reserved.</small></i><br /> +</p> + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h2>CONTENTS</h2> + + +<ol class="TOC"><li class="lsoff"> + <span class="tocright">Page</span><br /></li> +</ol> +<ol class="TOC"> +<li> MR. AND MRS. WILLIS CAMPBELL<span class="tocright"> <a href="#Page_7">7</a></span><br /> +</li> +<li> MR. WELLING; MR. CAMPBELL<span class="tocright"> <a href="#Page_29">29</a></span><br /> +</li> +<li> MRS. CAMPBELL; MR. WELLING; MR. CAMPBELL<span class="tocright"> <a href="#Page_34">34</a></span><br /> +</li> +<li> JANE; MRS. CAMPBELL; WELLING; CAMPBELL<span class="tocright"> <a href="#Page_39">39</a></span><br /> +</li> +<li> MRS. CAMPBELL; WELLING; CAMPBELL<span class="tocright"> <a href="#Page_41">41</a></span><br /> +</li> +<li> JANE; MRS. CAMPBELL; WELLING; CAMPBELL<span class="tocright"> <a href="#Page_43">43</a></span><br /> +</li> +<li> MRS. CAMPBELL; WELLING; CAMPBELL<span class="tocright"> <a href="#Page_44">44</a></span><br /> +</li> +<li> MISS RICE, MISS GREENWAY, and the OTHERS<span class="tocright"> <a href="#Page_48">48</a></span><br /> +</li> +<li> MISS GREENWAY; MR. WELLING<span class="tocright"> <a href="#Page_50">50</a></span><br /> +</li> +<li> MISS RICE; then MR. and MRS. CAMPBELL, and the OTHERS<span class="tocright"> <a href="#Page_53">53</a></span><br /> +</li></ol> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h2><a name="ILLUSTRATIONS" id="ILLUSTRATIONS"></a>ILLUSTRATIONS</h2> + + +<ul><li> +"THE MOST EXCITING PART OF IT"<span class="tocright"> <i><a href="#THE_MOST_EXCITING_PART">Frontispiece</a></i></span><br /> +</li> +<li>MR. WELLING EXPLAINS<span class="tocright"> <i>Facing page <a href="#MR_WELLING_EXPLAINS">52</a></i></span><br /> +</li></ul> + + + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_7" id="Page_7">[Pg 7]</a></span></p><hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h2><a name="A_LIKELY_STORY" id="A_LIKELY_STORY"></a><big>A LIKELY STORY</big></h2> + + + + +<h2><a name="I" id="I"></a>I<br /><br /> + +<i>MR. AND MRS. WILLIS CAMPBELL</i></h2> + + +<p>Mrs. Campbell: "Now this, I +think, is the most exciting part of +the whole affair, and the pleasantest." +She is seated at breakfast in her cottage +at Summering-by-the-Sea. A heap of +letters of various stylish shapes, colors, +and superscriptions lies beside her plate, +and irregularly straggles about among +the coffee-service. Vis-à-vis with her sits +Mr. Campbell behind a newspaper. "How +prompt they are! Why, I didn't expect +to get half so many answers yet. But +that shows that where people have nothing +to do <i>but</i> attend to their social duties +they are always prompt—even the men; +women, of course, reply early anyway,<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_8" id="Page_8">[Pg 8]</a></span> +and you don't really care for them; but +in town the men seem to put it off till +the very last moment, and then some of +them call when it's over to excuse themselves +for not having come after accepting. +It really makes you wish for a leisure +class. It's only the drive and hurry +of American life that make our men +seem wanting in the <i>convenances</i>; and if +they had the time, with their instinctive +delicacy, they would be perfect: it +would come from the heart: they're more +truly polite now. Willis, just <i>look</i> at +this!"</p> + +<p>Campbell, behind his paper: "Look at +what?"</p> + +<p>Mrs. Campbell: "These replies. Why, +I do believe that more than half the people +have answered already, and the invitations +only went out yesterday. That +comes from putting on R.S.V.P. I knew +I was right, and I shall always do it, I +don't care what <i>you</i> say."</p> + +<p>Campbell: "You didn't put on R.S.V.P. +after all I said?" He looks round the +edge of his paper at her.</p> + +<p>Mrs. Campbell: "<i>Yes</i>, I did. The idea<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_9" id="Page_9">[Pg 9]</a></span> +of your setting up for an authority in such +a thing as that!"</p> + +<p>Campbell: "Then I'm sorry I didn't +ask you to do it. It's a shame to make +people say whether they'll come to a +garden-party from four till seven or +not."</p> + +<p>Mrs. Campbell: "A shame? How can +you provide if you don't know how many +are coming? I should like to know that. +But of course I couldn't expect you to +give in gracefully."</p> + +<p>Campbell: "I should give in gracefully +if I gave in at all, but I don't." He throws +his paper down beside his chair. "Here, +hand over the letters, and I'll be opening +them for you while you pour out the +coffee."</p> + +<p>Mrs. Campbell, covering the letters +with her hands: "Indeed you won't!"</p> + +<p>Campbell: "Well, pour out the coffee, +then, anyway."</p> + +<p>Mrs. Campbell, after a moment's reflection: +"No, I shall not do it. I'm going +to open them every one before you get a +drop of coffee—just to punish you."</p> + +<p>Campbell: "To punish me? For what?"<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_10" id="Page_10">[Pg 10]</a></span> +Mrs. Campbell hesitates, as if at a loss +what to say. "There! you don't know."</p> + +<p>Mrs. Campbell: "Yes, I do: for saying +I oughtn't to have put on R.S.V.P. Do +you take it back?"</p> + +<p>Campbell: "How can I till I've had +some coffee? My mind won't work on +an empty stomach. Well—" He rises +and goes round the table towards her.</p> + +<p>Mrs. Campbell, spreading both arms +over the letters: "Willis, if you dare to +touch them, I'll ring for Jane, and then +she'll see you cutting up."</p> + +<p>Campbell: "Touch what? I'm coming +to get some coffee."</p> + +<p>Mrs. Campbell: "Well, I'll give you +some coffee; but don't you touch a single +one of those letters—after what +you've said."</p> + +<p>Campbell: "All right!" He extends +one hand for the coffee, and with the +other sweeps all the letters together, and +starts back to his place. As she flies +upon him, "Look out, Amy; you'll make +me spill this coffee all over the table-cloth."</p> + +<p>Mrs. Campbell, sinking into her seat:<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_11" id="Page_11">[Pg 11]</a></span> +"Oh, Willis, how can you be so base? +<i>Give</i> me my letters. <i>Do!</i>"</p> + +<p>Campbell, sorting them over: "You +may have half."</p> + +<p>Mrs. Campbell: "No; I shall have all. +I insist upon it."</p> + +<p>Campbell: "Well, then, you may have +all the ladies' letters. There are twice as +many of them."</p> + +<p>Mrs. Campbell: "No; I shall have the +men's, too. Give me the men's first."</p> + +<p>Campbell: "How can I tell which are +the men's without opening them?"</p> + +<p>Mrs. Campbell: "How could you tell +which were the ladies'? Come, now, +Willis, don't tease me any longer. You +know I hate it."</p> + +<p>Campbell, studying the superscriptions, +one after another: "I want to see if I can +guess who wrote them. Don't you like +to guess who wrote your letters before +you open them?"</p> + +<p>Mrs. Campbell, with dignity: "I don't +like to guess who wrote other people's +letters." She looks down at the table-cloth +with a menace of tears, and Campbell +instantly returns all the notes.<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_12" id="Page_12">[Pg 12]</a></span></p> + +<p>Campbell: "There, Amy; you may +have them. I don't care who wrote them, +nor what's in them. And I don't want +you to interrupt me with any exclamations +over them, if you please." He +reaches to the floor for his newspaper, +and while he sips his coffee, Mrs. Campbell +loses no time in opening her letters.</p> + +<p>Mrs. Campbell: "I shall do nothing +<i>but</i> exclaim. The Curwens accept, of +course—the very first letter. That means +Mrs. Curwen; that is one, at any rate. +The New York Addingses do, and the +Philadelphia Addingses don't; I hardly +expected they would, so soon after their +aunt's death, but I thought I ought to +ask them. Mr. and Mrs. Roberts, naturally; +it was more a joke than anything, +sending their invitation. Mrs. and the +Misses Carver regret very much; well, <i>I</i> +don't. Professor and Mrs. Traine are +very happy, and so am I; he doesn't go +everywhere, and he's awfully nice. Mr. +and Mrs. Lou Bemis are very happy, too, +and Dr. Lawton is very happy. Mrs. +Bridges Dear Mrs. Campbells me, and is +very sorry in the first person; she's always<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_13" id="Page_13">[Pg 13]</a></span> +nice. Mr. Phillips, Mr. Rangeley, +Mr. Small, Mr. Peters, Mr. Staples, Mr. +Thornton, <i>all</i> accept, and they're all +charming young fellows."</p> + +<p>Campbell, around his paper: "Well, +what of that?"</p> + +<p>Mrs. Campbell, with an air of busy preoccupation: +"Don't eavesdrop, please; +I wasn't talking to you. The Merrills +have the pleasure, and the Morgans are +sorrow-stricken; the—"</p> + +<p>Campbell: "Yes, but why should you +care whether those fellows are charming +or not? Who's going to marry them?"</p> + +<p>Mrs. Campbell: "<i>I</i> am. Mrs. Stevenson +is bowed to the earth; Colonel Murphree +is overjoyed; the Misses Ja—"</p> + +<p>Campbell, putting his paper down: +"Look here, Amy. Do you know that +you have one little infinitesimal ewe-lamb +of a foible? You think too much of young +men."</p> + +<p>Mrs. Campbell: "<i>Younger</i> men, you +mean. And <i>you</i> have a multitude of perfectly +mammoth peccadilloes. You interrupt." +She goes on opening and +reading her letters. "Well, I didn't expect<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_14" id="Page_14">[Pg 14]</a></span> +the Macklines <i>could</i>; but everybody +seems to be coming."</p> + +<p>Campbell: "You pay them too much +attention altogether. It spoils them; and +one of these days you'll be getting some +of them in love with you, and <i>then</i> what +will you do?"</p> + +<p>Mrs. Campbell, with affected distraction: +"What <i>are</i> you talking about? I'd +refer them to you, and you could kill +them. I suppose you killed lots of people +in California. That's what you always +gave me to understand." She goes +on with her letters.</p> + +<p>Campbell: "I never killed a single human +being that I can remember; but +there's no telling what I might do if I +were provoked. Now, there's that young +Welling. He's about here under my feet +all the time; and he's got a way lately of +coming in through the window from the +piazza that's very intimate. He's a nice +fellow enough, and sweet, as you say. I +suppose he has talent, too, but I never +heard that he had set any of the adjacent +watercourses on fire; and I don't know +that he could give the Apollo Belvedere<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_15" id="Page_15">[Pg 15]</a></span> +many points in beauty and beat +him."</p> + +<p>Mrs. Campbell: "<i>I</i> do. Mrs. and Miss +Rice accept, and her friend Miss Greenway, +who's staying with her, and—yes! +here's one from Mr. Welling! <i>Oh</i>, how +glad I am! Willis, dearest, if I <i>could</i> be +the means of bringing those two lovely +young creatures together, I should be <i>so</i> +happy! <i>Don't</i> you think, now, he <i>is</i> the +most delicate-minded, truly refined, exquisitely +modest young fellow that ever +was?" She presses the unopened note +to her corsage, and leans eagerly forward +entreating a sympathetic acquiescence.</p> + +<p>Campbell: "Well, as far as I can remember +my own youth, no. But what +does he say?"</p> + +<p>Mrs. Campbell, regarding the letter: "I +haven't looked yet. He writes the <i>most</i> +characteristic hand, for a man, that I ever +saw. And he has the divinest taste in +perfumes! Oh, I wonder what <i>that</i> is? +Like a memory—a regret." She presses +it repeatedly to her pretty nose, in the +endeavor to ascertain.</p> + +<p>Campbell: "Oh, hello!"<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_16" id="Page_16">[Pg 16]</a></span></p> + +<p>Mrs. Campbell, laughing: "Willis, you +<i>are</i> delightful. I should like to see you +really jealous once."</p> + +<p>Campbell: "You won't, as long as I +know my own incomparable charm. But +give me that letter, Amy, if you're not +going to open it. I want to see whether +Welling is going to come."</p> + +<p>Mrs. Campbell, fondly: "Would you +<i>really</i> like to open it? I've half a mind +to let you, just for a reward."</p> + +<p>Campbell: "Reward! What for?"</p> + +<p>Mrs. Campbell: "Oh, I don't know. +Being so nice."</p> + +<p>Campbell: "That's something I can't +help. It's no merit. Well, hand over +the letter."</p> + +<p>Mrs. Campbell: "I should have thought +you'd insist on <i>my</i> opening it, after that."</p> + +<p>Campbell: "Why?"</p> + +<p>Mrs. Campbell: "To show your confidence."</p> + +<p>Campbell: "When I haven't got any?"</p> + +<p>Mrs. Campbell, tearing the note open: +"Well, it's no use trying any sentiment +with you, or any generosity either. You're +always just the same; a teasing joke is<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_17" id="Page_17">[Pg 17]</a></span> +your ideal. You can't imagine a woman's +wanting to keep up a little romance all +through; and a character like Mr. Welling's, +who's all chivalry and delicacy and +deference, is quite beyond you. That's +the reason you're always sneering at him."</p> + +<p>Campbell: "I'm not sneering at him, +my dear. I'm only afraid Miss Rice isn't +good enough for him."</p> + +<p>Mrs. Campbell, instantly placated: +"Well, she's the only girl who's anywhere +<i>near</i> it. I don't say she's faultless, but +she has a great deal of character, and +she's very practical; just the counterpart +of his dreaminess; and she <i>is</i> very, <i>very</i> +good-looking, don't you think?"</p> + +<p>Campbell: "Her bang isn't so nice as +his."</p> + +<p>Mrs. Campbell: "No; and aren't his +eyes beautiful? And that high, serious +look! And his nose and chin are perfectly +divine. He looks like a young +god!"</p> + +<p>Campbell: "I dare say; though I never +saw an old one. Well, is he coming? +I'm not jealous, but I'm impatient. Read +it out loud."<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_18" id="Page_18">[Pg 18]</a></span></p> + +<p>Mrs. Campbell, sinking back in her +chair for the more luxurious perusal of +the note: "Indeed I shall not." She +opens it and runs it hastily through, with +various little starts, stares, frowns, smiles +of arrested development, laughs, and +cries: "Why—why! What does it mean? +Is he crazy? Why, there's some mistake. +No! It's his hand—and here's his +name. I can't make it out." She reads +it again and again. "Why, it's perfectly +bewildering! Why, there must be some +mistake. He couldn't have meant it. +Could he have imagined? Could he have +dared? There never has been the slightest +thing that could be tortured into—But +of course not. And Mr. Welling, +of all men! Oh, I can't understand it! +Oh, Willis, Willis, Willis! What <i>does</i> it +mean?" She flings the note wildly across +the table, and catching her handkerchief +to her face, falls back into her chair, tumultuously +sobbing.</p> + +<p>Campbell, with the calm of a man accustomed +to emotional superabundance, +lifting the note from the toast-rack before +him: "Well, let's see." He reads<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_19" id="Page_19">[Pg 19]</a></span> +aloud: "'Oh, my darling! How can I +live till I see you? I will be there long +<i>before</i> the hour! To think of your <i>asking</i> +me! You should have said, "I permit +you to come," and I would have flown +from the ends of the earth. The presence +of others will be nothing. It will +be sweet to ignore them in my heart, and +while I see you moving among them, and +looking after their pleasure with that +beautiful thoughtfulness of yours, to +think, "She is mine, mine, mine!"</p> + +<div class="poem"><div class="stanza"> +<span class="i0">"Oh, young lord lover, what sighs are those<br /></span> +<span class="i0">For one that can never be thine?"<br /></span> +</div></div> + +<p>I thank you, and thank you a thousand +times over, for this proof of your trust in +me, and of your love—<i>our</i> love. You +shall be the sole keeper of our secret—it +is so sweet to think that no one even suspects +it!—and it shall live with you, and +if you will, it shall die with me. Forever +yours, Arthur Welling.'" Campbell turns +the note over, and picking up the envelope, +examines the address. "Well, <i>upon</i> +my word! It's to you, Amy—on the outside,<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_20" id="Page_20">[Pg 20]</a></span> +anyway. What do you suppose he +means?"</p> + +<p>Mrs. Campbell, in her handkerchief: +"Oh, I don't know; I <i>don't</i> know why he +should address such language to me!"</p> + +<p>Campbell, recurring to the letter: "<i>I</i> +never did. '<i>Oh, my darling—live till I +see you—ends of the earth—others will be +nothing—beautiful thoughtfulness—mine, +mine, mine—our love—sweet to think no +one suspects it—forever yours.</i>' Amy, +these are pretty strong expressions to use +towards the wife of another, and she a +married lady! I think I had better go +and solve that little problem of how he +can live till he sees you by relieving him +of the necessity. It would be disagreeable +to him, but perhaps there's a social +duty involved."</p> + +<p>Mrs. Campbell: "Oh, Willis, <i>don't</i> torment +me! What do you suppose it +means? Is it some—mistake? It's for +somebody else!"</p> + +<p>Campbell: "I don't see why he should +have addressed it to you, then."</p> + +<p>Mrs. Campbell: "But don't you see? +He's been writing to some other person<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_21" id="Page_21">[Pg 21]</a></span> +at the same time, and he's got the answers +mixed—put them in the wrong envelopes. +Oh dear! I wonder who she +is!"</p> + +<p>Campbell, studying her with an air of +affected abstraction: "Her curiosity gets +the better of her anguish. Look here, +Amy! <i>I</i> believe you're <i>afraid</i> it's to some +one else."</p> + +<p>Mrs. Campbell: "Willis!"</p> + +<p>Campbell: "Yes. And before we proceed +any further I must know just what +you wrote to this—this Mr. Welling of +yours. Did you put on R.S.V.P.?"</p> + +<p>Mrs. Campbell: "Yes; and just a +printed card like all the rest. I did want +to write him a note in the first person, +and urge him to come, because I expected +Miss Rice and Miss Greenway to help me +receive; but when I found Margaret had +promised Mrs. Curwen for the next day, +I knew she wouldn't like to take the +bloom off that by helping me first; so I +didn't."</p> + +<p>Campbell: "Didn't what?"</p> + +<p>Mrs. Campbell: "Write to him. I just +sent a card."<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_22" id="Page_22">[Pg 22]</a></span></p> + +<p>Campbell: "Then these passionate expressions +<i>are</i> unprovoked, and my duty +is clear. I must lose no time in destroying +Mr. Welling. Do you happen to +know where I laid my revolver?"</p> + +<p>Mrs. Campbell: "Oh, Willis, what are +you going to do? You see it's a mistake."</p> + +<p>Campbell: "Mr. Welling has got to +prove that. I'm not going to have young +men addressing my wife as Oh their darling, +without knowing the reason why. +It's a liberty."</p> + +<p>Mrs. Campbell, inclined to laugh: "Ah, +Willis, how funny you are!"</p> + +<p>Campbell: "Funny? I'm furious."</p> + +<p>Mrs. Campbell: "You know you're not. +Give me the letter, dearest. I know it's +for Margaret Rice, and I shall see her, +and just feel round and find out if it isn't +so, and—"</p> + +<p>Campbell: "What an idea! You haven't +the slightest evidence that it's for Miss +Rice, or that it isn't intended for you, +and it's my duty to find out. And nobody +is authority but Mr. Welling. And +I'm going to him with the <i>corpus delicti</i>."<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_23" id="Page_23">[Pg 23]</a></span></p> + +<p>Mrs. Campbell: "But how can you? +Remember how sensitive, how shrinking +he is. Don't, Willis; you mustn't. It will +kill him!"</p> + +<p>Campbell: "Well, that may save me +considerable bother. If he will simply +die of himself, I can't ask anything better." +He goes on eating his breakfast.</p> + +<p>Mrs. Campbell, admiring him across +the table: "Oh, Willis, how perfectly delightful +you are!"</p> + +<p>Campbell: "I know; but why?"</p> + +<p>Mrs. Campbell: "Why, taking it in the +nice, sensible way you do. Now, some +husbands would be so stupid! Of course +you <i>couldn't</i> think—you couldn't <i>dream</i>—that +the letter was really for me; and yet +you might behave very disagreeably, and +make me very unhappy, if you were not +just the lovely, kind-hearted, magnanimous—"</p> + +<p>Campbell, looking up from his coffee: +"Oh, hello!"</p> + +<p>Mrs. Campbell: "Yes; that is what took +my fancy in you, Willis: that generosity, +that real gentleness, in spite of the brusque<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_24" id="Page_24">[Pg 24]</a></span> +way you have. Refinement of the heart, +<i>I</i> call it."</p> + +<p>Campbell: "Amy, what are you after?"</p> + +<p>Mrs. Campbell: "We've been married +a whole year now—"</p> + +<p>Campbell: "Longer, isn't it?"</p> + +<p>Mrs. Campbell: "—And I haven't +known you do an unkind thing, a brutal +thing."</p> + +<p>Campbell: "Well, I understand the +banging around hardly ever begins much +under two years."</p> + +<p>Mrs. Campbell: "How <i>sweet</i> you are! +And you're <i>so</i> funny always!"</p> + +<p>Campbell: "Come, come, Amy; get +down to business. What is it you do +want?"</p> + +<p>Mrs. Campbell: "You won't go and +tease that poor boy about his letter, will +you? Just hand it to him, and say you +suppose here is something that has come +into your possession by mistake, and that +you wish to restore it to him, and then—just +run off."</p> + +<p>Campbell: "With my parasol in one +hand, and my skirts caught up in the +other?"<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_25" id="Page_25">[Pg 25]</a></span></p> + +<p>Mrs. Campbell: "Oh, how good! Of +course I was imagining how <i>I</i> should do +it."</p> + +<p>Campbell: "Well, a man can't do it +that way. He would look silly." He +rises from the table, and comes and puts +his arm round her shoulders. "But you +needn't be afraid of my being rough +with him. Of course it's a mistake; but +he's a fellow who will enter into the joke +too; he'll enjoy it; he'll—" He merges +his sentence in a kiss on her upturned +lips, and she clings to his hand with her +right, pressing it fondly to her cheek. +"I shall do it in a man's way; but I guess +you'll approve of it quite as much."</p> + +<p>Mrs. Campbell: "I know I shall. That's +what I like about you, Willis: your being +so helplessly a man always."</p> + +<p>Campbell: "Well, that's what attracted +me to you, Amy; your manliness."</p> + +<p>Mrs. Campbell: "And I liked your +<i>finesse</i>. You are awfully inventive, Willis. +Why, Willis, I've just thought of something. +Oh, it would be <i>so</i> good if you +only would!"</p> + +<p>Campbell: "Would what?"<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_26" id="Page_26">[Pg 26]</a></span></p> + +<p>Mrs. Campbell: "Invent something +now to get us out of the scrape."</p> + +<p>Campbell: "What a brilliant idea! <i>I'm</i> +not in any scrape. And as for Mr. Welling, +I don't see how you could help him +out unless you sent this letter to Miss +Rice, and asked her to send yours back—"</p> + +<p>Mrs. Campbell, springing to her feet: +"Willis, you are inspired! Oh, how perfectly +delightful! And it's so delicate of +you to think of that! I will just enclose +his note—give it here, Willis—and he +need never know that it ever went to the +wrong address. Oh, I always felt that +you were <i>truly</i> refined, anyway." He +passively yields the letter, and she whirls +away to a writing-desk in the corner of +the room. "Now, I'll just keep a copy +of the letter—for a joke; I think I've a +perfect right to"—scribbling furiously +away—"and then I'll match the paper +with an envelope—I can do that perfectly—and +then I'll just imitate his hand—such +fun!—and send it flying over to Margaret +Rice. Oh, <i>how</i> good! Touch the +bell, Willis;" and then—as the serving-maid +appears—"Yes, Jane! Run right<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_27" id="Page_27">[Pg 27]</a></span> +across the lawn to Mrs. Rice's, and give +this letter for Miss Margaret, and say it +was left here by mistake. Well, it <i>was</i>, +Willis. Fly, Jane! Oh, Willis, love! +Isn't it perfect! Of course she'll have +got his formal reply to my invitation, and +be all mixed up by it, and now when this +note comes, she'll see through it all in an +instant, and it will be such a relief to her; +and oh, she'll think that he's directed <i>both</i> +the letters to her because he couldn't +think of any one else! Isn't it lovely? +Just like anything that's nice, it's ten +times as nice as you expected it to be; +and—"</p> + +<p>Campbell: "But hold on, Amy!" He +lifts a note from the desk. "You've sent +your copy. Here's the original now. +She'll think you've been playing some +joke on her."</p> + +<p>Mrs. Campbell, clutching the letter from +him, and scanning it in a daze: "<i>What!</i> +Oh, my goodness! It is! I have! Oh, +I shall die! Run! Call her back! Shriek, +Willis!" They rush to the window together. +"No, no! It's too late! She's +given it to their man, and now nothing<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_28" id="Page_28">[Pg 28]</a></span> +can save me! Oh, Willis! Willis! Willis! +This is all your fault, with that fatal +suggestion of yours. Oh, if you had only +left it to me I never should have got into +such a scrape! She will think now that +I've been trying to hoax her, and she's +perfectly implacable at the least hint of a +liberty, and she'll be ready to kill me. I +don't know <i>what</i> she won't do. Oh, Willis, +how <i>could</i> you get me into this!"</p> + +<p>Campbell, irately: "Get you into this! +Now, Amy, this is a little too much. You +got yourself into it. You urged me to +think of something—"</p> + +<p>Mrs. Campbell: "Well, do, Willis, <i>do</i> +think of something, or I shall go mad! +Help me, Willis! Don't be so heartless—so +unfeeling."</p> + +<p>Campbell: "There's only one thing +now, and that is to make a clean breast +of it to Welling, and get him to help us +out. A word from him can make everything +right, and we can't take a step without +him; we can't move!"</p> + +<p>Mrs. Campbell: "I can't let you. Oh, +isn't it horrible!"</p> + +<p>Campbell: "Yes; a nice thing is always<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_29" id="Page_29">[Pg 29]</a></span> +ten times nicer than you expected it +to be!"</p> + +<p>Mrs. Campbell: "Oh, how can you +stand there mocking me? Why don't you +go to him at once, and tell him the whole +thing, and beg him, implore him, to help +us?"</p> + +<p>Campbell: "Why, you just told me I +mustn't!"</p> + +<p>Mrs. Campbell: "You didn't expect me +to say you might, did you? Oh, how +cruel!" She whirls out of the room, and +Campbell stands in a daze, in which he is +finally aware of Mr. Arthur Welling, seen +through the open window, on the veranda +without. Mr. Welling, with a terrified +and furtive air, seems to be fixed to +the spot where he stands.</p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h2><a name="II" id="II"></a>II<br /><br /> + +<i>MR. WELLING; MR. CAMPBELL</i></h2> + + +<p>Campbell: "Why, Welling, what the +devil are you doing there?"</p> + +<p>Welling: "Trying to get away."<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_30" id="Page_30">[Pg 30]</a></span></p> + +<p>Campbell: "To get away? But you +sha'n't, man! I won't let you. I was +just going to see you. How long have +you been there?"</p> + +<p>Welling: "I've just come."</p> + +<p>Campbell: "What have you heard?"</p> + +<p>Welling: "Nothing—nothing. I was +knocking on the window-casing to make +<i>you</i> hear, but you seemed preoccupied."</p> + +<p>Campbell: "Preoccupied! convulsed! +cataclysmed! Look here: we're in a box, +Welling. And you've got us into it." +He pulls Welling's note out of his pocket, +where he has been keeping his hand on +it, and pokes it at him. "Is that yours?"</p> + +<p>Welling, examining it with bewilderment +mounting into anger: "It's mine; +yes. May I ask, Mr. Campbell, how you +came to have this letter?"</p> + +<p>Campbell: "May I ask, Mr. Welling, +how you came to write such a letter to +my wife?"</p> + +<p>Welling: "To your wife? To Mrs. +Campbell? I never wrote any such letter +to her."</p> + +<p>Campbell: "Then you addressed it to +her."<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_31" id="Page_31">[Pg 31]</a></span></p> + +<p>Welling: "Impossible!"</p> + +<p>Campbell: "Impossible? I think I can +convince you, much as I regret to do so." +He makes search about Mrs. Campbell's +letters on the table first, and then on the +writing-desk. "We have the envelope. +It came amongst a lot of letters, and +there's no mistake about it." He continues +to toss the letters about, and then +desists. "But no matter; I can't find it; +Amy's probably carried it off with her. +There's no mistake about it. I was going +to have some fun with you about it, but +now you can have some fun with me. +Whom did you send Mrs. Campbell's letter +to?"</p> + +<p>Welling: "Mrs. Campbell's letter?"</p> + +<p>Campbell: "Oh, pshaw! your acceptance +or refusal, or whatever it was, of her +garden fandango. You got an invitation?"</p> + +<p>Welling: "Of course."</p> + +<p>Campbell: "And you wrote to accept +it or decline it at the same time that you +wrote this letter here to some one else. +And you addressed two envelopes before +you put the notes in either. And then<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_32" id="Page_32">[Pg 32]</a></span> +you put them into the wrong envelopes. +And you sent this note to my wife, and +the other note to the other person—"</p> + +<p>Welling: "No, I didn't do anything of +the kind!" He regards Campbell with +amazement, and some apparent doubt of +his sanity.</p> + +<p>Campbell: "Well, then, Mr. Welling, +will you allow me to ask what the deuce +you did do?"</p> + +<p>Welling: "I never wrote to Mrs. Campbell +at all. I thought I would just drop +in and tell her why I couldn't come. It +seemed so formal to write."</p> + +<p>Campbell: "Then will you be kind +enough to tell me whom you <i>did</i> write to?"</p> + +<p>Welling: "No, Mr. Campbell, I can't +do that."</p> + +<p>Campbell: "You write such a letter as +that to my wife, and then won't tell me +whom it's to?"</p> + +<p>Welling: "No! And you've no right +to ask me."</p> + +<p>Campbell: "I've no right to ask you?"</p> + +<p>Welling: "No. When I tell you that +the note wasn't meant for Mrs. Campbell, +that's enough."<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_33" id="Page_33">[Pg 33]</a></span></p> + +<p>Campbell: "I'll be judge of that, Mr. +Welling. You say that you were not +writing two notes at the time, and that +you didn't get the envelopes mixed. +Then, if the note wasn't meant for my +wife, why did you address it to her?"</p> + +<p>Welling: "That's what I can't tell; +that's what I don't know. It's as great +a mystery to me as it is to you. I can +only conjecture that when I was writing +that address I was thinking of coming to +explain to Mrs. Campbell that I was going +away to-day, and shouldn't be back +till after her party. It was too complicated +to put in a note without seeming +to give my regrets too much importance. +And I suppose that when I was addressing +the note that I did write I put Mrs. +Campbell's name on because I had her so +much in mind."</p> + +<p>Campbell, with irony: "Oh!"</p> + + + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_34" id="Page_34">[Pg 34]</a></span></p><hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h2><a name="III" id="III"></a>III<br /><br /> + +<i>MRS. CAMPBELL; MR. WELLING; MR. CAMPBELL</i></h2> + + +<p>Mrs. Campbell, appearing through the +portière that separates the breakfast-room +from the parlor beyond: "Yes!" +She goes up and gives her hand to Mr. +Welling with friendly frankness. "And +it was very nice of you to think of me at +such a time, when you ought to have +been thinking of some one else."</p> + +<p>Welling, with great relief and effusion: +"Oh, thank you, Mrs. Campbell! I was +sure you would understand. You couldn't +have imagined me capable of addressing +such language to you; of presuming—of—"</p> + +<p>Mrs. Campbell: "Of course not! And +Willis has quite lost his head. I saw in +an instant just how it was. I'm so sorry +you can't come to my party—"</p> + +<p>Campbell: "Amy, have you been eavesdropping?"<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_35" id="Page_35">[Pg 35]</a></span></p> + +<p>Mrs. Campbell: "There was no need +of eavesdropping. I could have heard +you out at Loon Rock Light, you shouted +so. But as soon as I recognized Mr. +Welling's voice I came to the top of the +stairs and listened. I was sure you would +do something foolish. But now I think +we had better make a clean breast of it, +and tell Mr. Welling just what we've done. +We knew, of course, the letter wasn't for +me, and we thought we wouldn't vex you +about it, but just send it to the one it <i>was</i> +meant for. We've surprised your secret, +Mr. Welling, though we didn't intend to; +but if you'll accept our congratulations—under +the rose, of course—we won't let it +go any further. It does seem so perfectly +ideal, and I feel like saying, Bless you, +my children! You've been in and out +here so much this summer, and I feel +just like an elder sister to Margaret."</p> + +<p>Welling: "Margaret?"</p> + +<p>Mrs. Campbell: "Well, Miss Rice, +then—"</p> + +<p>Welling: "Miss Rice?"</p> + +<p>Mrs. Campbell, with dignity: "Oh, I'm +sorry if we seem to presume upon our <span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_36" id="Page_36">[Pg 36]</a></span>acquaintance +with the matter. We couldn't +very well help knowing it under the circumstances."</p> + +<p>Welling: "Certainly, certainly—of +course: I don't mind that at all: I was +going to tell you, anyway: that was partly +the reason why I came instead of writing—"</p> + +<p>Campbell, in an audible soliloquy: "I +supposed he <i>had</i> written."</p> + +<p>Mrs. Campbell, intensely: "Don't interrupt, +Willis! Well?"</p> + +<p>Welling: "But I don't see what Miss +Rice has to do with it."</p> + +<p>Mrs. Campbell: "You don't see! Why, +isn't Margaret Rice the one—"</p> + +<p>Welling: "What one?"</p> + +<p>Mrs. Campbell: "The one that you're +engaged—the one that the note was really +<i>for</i>?"</p> + +<p>Welling: "No! What an idea! Miss +Rice? Not for an instant! It's—it's her +friend—Miss Greenway—who's staying +with her—"</p> + +<p>Mrs. Campbell, in a very awful voice: +"Willis! Get me some water—some +wine! Help me! Ah! Don't touch me!<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_37" id="Page_37">[Pg 37]</a></span> +It was you, <i>you</i> who did it all! Oh, <i>now</i> +what shall I do?" She drops her head +upon Campbell's shoulder, while Welling +watches them in stupefaction.</p> + +<p>Campbell: "It's about a million times +nicer than we could have expected. +That's the way with a nice thing when +you get it started. Well, young man, +you're done for; and so are we, for that +matter. We supposed that note which +you addressed to Mrs. Campbell was intended +for Miss Rice—"</p> + +<p>Welling: "Ho, ho, ho! Ah, ha, ha! +Miss Rice? Ha—"</p> + +<p>Campbell: "I'm glad you like it. +You'll enjoy the rest of it still better. We +thought it was for Miss Rice, and my +wife neatly imitated your hand on an envelope +and sent it over to her just before +you came in. Funny, isn't it? Laugh +on! Don't mind <i>us</i>!"</p> + +<p>Welling, aghast: "Thought my note +was for Miss Rice? Sent it to her? +Gracious powers!" They all stand for +a moment in silence, and then Welling +glances at the paper in his hand. "But +there's some mistake. You haven't sent<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_38" id="Page_38">[Pg 38]</a></span> +my note to Miss Rice: here it is +now!"</p> + +<p>Campbell: "Oh, that's the best of the +joke. Mrs. Campbell took a copy"—Mrs. +Campbell moans—"she meant to have +some fun with you about it, and it's ten +times as much fun as <i>I</i> expected; and in +her hurry she sent off her copy and kept +the original. Perhaps that makes it better."</p> + +<p>Mrs. Campbell, detaching herself from +him and confronting Mr. Welling: "No; +worse! She'll think we've been trying to +hoax her, and she'll be in a towering +rage; and she'll show the note to Miss +Greenway, and you'll be ruined. Oh +poor Mr. Welling! Oh, what a fatal, +fatal—mix!" She abandons herself in an +attitude of extreme desperation upon a +chair, while the men stare at her, till +Campbell breaks the spell by starting forward +and ringing the bell on the table.</p> + +<p>Mrs. Campbell: "What are you doing, +Willis?"</p> + +<p>Campbell: "Ringing for Jane." As +Jane appears: "Did you give Miss Rice +the note?"</p> + + + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_39" id="Page_39">[Pg 39]</a></span></p><hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h2><a name="IV" id="IV"></a>IV<br /><br /> + +<i>JANE; MRS. CAMPBELL; WELLING; +CAMPBELL</i></h2> + + +<p>Jane: "No, sir; I gave it to the man. +He said he would give it to Miss Rice."</p> + +<p>Campbell: "Then it's all up. If by any +chance she hadn't got it, Amy, you might +have sent over for it, and said there was +a mistake."</p> + +<p>Jane: "He said Miss Rice was out +driving with Miss Greenway in her phaeton, +but they expected her back every +minute."</p> + +<p>Mrs. Campbell: "Oh, my goodness! +And you didn't come to tell me? Oh, if +we had only known! We've lost our only +chance, Willis."</p> + +<p>Jane: "I did come and knock on your +door, ma'am, but I couldn't make you +hear."</p> + +<p>Campbell: "There's still a chance. +Perhaps she hasn't got back yet."</p> + +<p>Jane: "I know she ain't, sir. I've been<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_40" id="Page_40">[Pg 40]</a></span> +watching for her ever since. I can always +see them come, from the pantry +window."</p> + +<p>Mrs. Campbell: "Well, then, don't +stand there talking, but run at once! Oh, +Willis! Never tell me again that there's +no such thing as an overruling providence. +Oh, what an interposition! Oh, +I can never be grateful and humble +enough—Goodness me, Jane! why don't +you go?"</p> + +<p>Jane: "Go where, ma'am? I don't know +what you want me to do. I'm willing +enough to do anything if I know what it +is, but it's pretty hard to do things if you +don't."</p> + +<p>Campbell: "You're perfectly right, +Jane. Mrs. Campbell wants you to telegraph +yourself over to Mrs. Rice's, and +say to her that the letter you left for +Miss Rice is not for her, but another +lady, and Mrs. Campbell sent it by mistake. +Get it and bring it back here, +dead or alive, even if Mrs. Rice has to +pass over your mangled body in the attempt."</p> + +<p>Jane, tasting the joke, while Mrs. Campbell<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_41" id="Page_41">[Pg 41]</a></span> +gasps in ineffective efforts to reinforce +her husband's instructions: "I will +that, sir."</p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h2><a name="V" id="V"></a>V<br /><br /> + +<i>MRS. CAMPBELL; WELLING; CAMPBELL</i></h2> + + +<p>Campbell: "And now, while we're waiting, +let's all join hands and dance round +the table. You're saved, Welling. So +are you, Amy. And so am I—which is +more to the point."</p> + +<p>Mrs. Campbell, gayly: "Dansons!" She +extends her hands to the gentlemen, and +as they circle round the breakfast-table +she sings,</p> + +<div class="poem"><div class="stanza"> +<span class="i0"><i>"Sur le pont d'Avignon,</i><br /></span> +<span class="i0"><i>Tout le monde y danse en rond."</i><br /></span> +</div></div> + +<p>She frees her hands and courtesies to one +gentleman and the other.</p> + +<div class="poem"><div class="stanza"> +<span class="i0"><i>"Les belles dames font comme ça;</i><br /></span> +<span class="i0"><i>Les beaux messieurs font comme ça."</i><br /></span> +</div></div> + +<p>Then she catches hands with them again,<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_42" id="Page_42">[Pg 42]</a></span> +and they circle round the table as before, +singing,</p> + +<div class="poem"><div class="stanza"> +<span class="i0">"<i>Sur le pont d'Avignon,</i><br /></span> +<span class="i0"><i>Tout le monde y danse en rond.</i><br /></span> +</div></div> + +<p>Oh, dear! Stop! I'm dizzy—I shall +fall." She spins into a chair, while the +men continue solemnly circling by themselves.</p> + +<p>Campbell: "It is a sacred dance:</p> + +<div class="poem"><div class="stanza"> +<span class="i0"><i>"Sur le pont d'Avignon—"</i><br /></span> +</div></div> + +<p>Welling: "It's an expiation:</p> + +<div class="poem"><div class="stanza"> +<span class="i0"><i>"Tout le monde y danse en rond."</i><br /></span> +</div></div> + +<p>Mrs. Campbell, springing from her chair +and running to the window: "Stop, you +crazy things! Here comes Jane! Come +right in here, Jane! Did you get it? Give +it to me, Jane!"</p> + +<p>Welling: "<i>I</i> think it belongs to me, Mrs. +Campbell."</p> + +<p>Campbell: "Jane, I am master of the +house—nominally. Give me the letter."</p> + + + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_43" id="Page_43">[Pg 43]</a></span></p><hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h2><a name="VI" id="VI"></a>VI<br /><br /> + +<i>JANE; MRS. CAMPBELL; WELLING; +CAMPBELL</i></h2> + + +<p>Jane, entering, blown and panting, +through the open window: "Oh, how I +did run—"</p> + +<p>Mrs. Campbell: "Yes, yes! But the +letter—"</p> + +<p>Welling: "Did you get it?"</p> + +<p>Campbell: "Where is it?"</p> + +<p>Jane, fanning herself with her apron: +"I can't hardly get my breath—"</p> + +<p>Mrs. Campbell: "Had she got back?"</p> + +<p>Jane: "No, ma'am."</p> + +<p>Campbell: "Did Mrs. Rice object to +giving it up?"</p> + +<p>Jane: "No, sir."</p> + +<p>Welling: "Then it's all right?"</p> + +<p>Jane: "No, sir. All wrong."</p> + +<p>Welling: "All wrong?"</p> + +<p>Campbell: "How all wrong?"</p> + +<p>Mrs. Campbell: "What's all wrong, +Jane?"<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_44" id="Page_44">[Pg 44]</a></span></p> + +<p>Jane: "Please, ma'am, may I have a +drink of water? I'm so dry I can't speak."</p> + +<p>Mrs. Campbell: "Yes, certainly."</p> + +<p>Campbell: "Of course."</p> + +<p>Welling: "Here." They all pour glasses +of water and press them to her lips.</p> + +<p>Jane, pushing the glasses away, and escaping +from the room: "They thought +Mrs. Campbell was in a great hurry for +Miss Rice to have the letter, and they +sent off the man with it to meet her."</p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h2><a name="VII" id="VII"></a>VII<br /><br /> + +<i>MRS. CAMPBELL; WELLING; CAMPBELL</i></h2> + + +<p>Mrs. Campbell: "Oh, merciful goodness!"</p> + +<p>Welling: "Gracious powers!"</p> + +<p>Campbell: "Another overruling providence. +Now you <i>are</i> in for it, my boy! +So is Amy. And so am I—which is still +more to the point."</p> + +<p>Mrs. Campbell: "Well, now, what shall +we do?"</p> + +<p>Campbell: "All that we can do now is<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_45" id="Page_45">[Pg 45]</a></span> +to await developments: they'll come fast +enough. Miss Rice will open her letter +as soon as she gets it, and she won't understand +it in the least; how <i>could</i> she +understand a letter in your handwriting, +with Welling's name signed to it? She'll +show it to Miss Greenway—"</p> + +<p>Welling: "Oh, don't say that!"</p> + +<p>Campbell: "—Greenway; and Miss +Greenway won't know what to make of it +either. But she's the kind of girl who'll +form some lively conjectures when she +reads that letter. In the first place, she'll +wonder how Mr. Welling happens to be +writing to Miss Rice in that affectionate +strain—"</p> + +<p>Mrs. Campbell, in an appealing shriek: +"Willis!"</p> + +<p>Campbell: "—And she naturally won't +believe he's done it. But then, when +Miss Rice tells her it's your handwriting, +Amy, she'll think that you and Miss Rice +have been having your jokes about Mr. +Welling; and she'll wonder what kind of +person you are, anyway, to make free with +a young man's name that way."</p> + +<p>Welling: "Oh, I assure you that she<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_46" id="Page_46">[Pg 46]</a></span> +admires Mrs. Campbell more than anybody."</p> + +<p>Mrs. Campbell: "Don't try to stop +him; he's fiendish when he begins teasing."</p> + +<p>Campbell: "Oh, well! If she admires +Mrs. Campbell and confides in you, then +the whole affair is very simple. All you've +got to do is to tell her that after you'd +written her the original of that note, your +mind was so full of Mrs. Campbell and +her garden-party that you naturally addressed +it to her. And then Mrs. Campbell +can cut in and say that when she +got the note she knew it wasn't for her, +but she never dreamed of your caring for +Miss Greenway, and was so sure it was +for Miss Rice that she sent her a copy of +it. That will make it all right and perfectly +agreeable to every one concerned."</p> + +<p>Mrs. Campbell: "And I can say that I +sent it at your suggestion, and then, instead +of trying to help me out of the awful, +awful—box, you took a cruel pleasure +in teasing me about it! But I shall not +say anything, for I shall not see them. I +will leave you to receive them and make<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_47" id="Page_47">[Pg 47]</a></span> +the best of it. Don't <i>try</i> to stop me, +Willis." She threatens him with her fan +as he steps forward to intercept her escape.</p> + +<p>Campbell: "No, no! Listen, Amy! +You <i>must</i> stay and see those ladies. It's +all well enough to leave it to me, but what +about poor Welling? <i>He</i> hasn't done anything—except +cause the whole trouble."</p> + +<p>Mrs. Campbell: "I am very sorry, but I +can't help it. I must go." Campbell +continues to prevent her flight, and she +suddenly whirls about and makes a dash +at the open window. "Oh, very well, +then! I can get out this way." At the +same moment Miss Rice and Miss Greenway +appear before the window on the +piazza. "Ugh! E—e—e! How you +frightened me! But—but come in. So +gl—glad to see you! And you—you too, +Miss Greenway. Here's Mr. Welling. +He's been desolating us with a story +about having to be away over my party, +and just getting back for Mrs. Curwen's. +Isn't it too bad? Can't some of you +young ladies—or all of you—make him +stay?" As Mrs. Campbell talks on, she<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_48" id="Page_48">[Pg 48]</a></span> +readjusts her spirit more and more to the +exigency, and subdues her agitation to a +surface of the sweetest politeness.</p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h2><a name="VIII" id="VIII"></a>VIII<br /><br /> + +<i>MISS RICE, MISS GREENWAY, and the +OTHERS</i></h2> + + +<p>Miss Rice, entering with an unopened +letter in her hand, which she extends to +Mrs. Campbell: "What in the world does +it all mean, Mrs. Campbell, your sending +your letters flying after <i>me</i> at this rate?"</p> + +<p>Mrs. Campbell, with a gasp: "My letters?" +She mechanically receives the +extended note, and glances at the superscription: +"<i>Mrs. Willis Campbell</i>. Ah!" +She hands it quickly to her husband, who +reads the address with a similar cry.</p> + +<p>Campbell: "Well, well, Amy! This is +a pretty good joke on you. You've sealed +up one of your own notes, and sent it to +Miss Rice. Capital! Ah, ha, ha!"</p> + +<p>Mrs. Campbell, with hysterical rapture: +"Oh, how delicious! What a ridiculous<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_49" id="Page_49">[Pg 49]</a></span> +blunder! I don't wonder you were puzzled, +Margaret."</p> + +<p>Welling: "What! Sent her your own +letter, addressed to yourself?"</p> + +<p>Mrs. Campbell: "Yes. Isn't it amusing?"</p> + +<p>Welling: "The best thing I ever heard +of."</p> + +<p>Miss Rice: "Yes. And if you only +knew what agonies of curiosity Miss +Greenway and I had suffered, wanting to +open it and read it anyway, in spite of all +the decencies, I think you would read it +to us."</p> + +<p>Campbell: "Or at least give Miss Rice +her own letter. What in the world did +you do with that?"</p> + +<p>Mrs. Campbell: "Put it in my desk, +where I thought I put mine. But never +mind it now. I can tell you what was in +it just as well. Come in here a moment, +Margaret." She leads the way to the +parlor, whither Miss Rice follows.</p> + +<p>Miss Greenway, poutingly: "Oh, mayn't +I know, too? I think that's hardly fair, +Mrs. Campbell."</p> + +<p>Mrs. Campbell: "No; or—Margaret<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_50" id="Page_50">[Pg 50]</a></span> +may tell you afterwards; or Mr. Welling +may, <i>now</i>!"</p> + +<p>Miss Greenway: "How very formidable!"</p> + +<p>Mrs. Campbell, over her shoulder, on +going out: "Willis, bring me the refusals +and acceptances, won't you? They're +up-stairs."</p> + +<p>Campbell: "Delighted to be of any service." +Behind Miss Greenway's back he +dramatizes over her head to Welling +his sense of his own escape, and his compassion +for the fellow-man whom he +leaves in the toils of fate.</p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h2><a name="IX" id="IX"></a>IX<br /><br /> + +<i>MISS GREENWAY; MR. WELLING</i></h2> + + +<p>Welling: "Nelly!" He approaches, and +timidly takes her hand.</p> + +<p>Miss Greenway: "Arthur! That letter +was addressed in your handwriting. +Will you please explain?"</p> + +<p>Welling: "Why, it's very simple—that +is, it's the most difficult thing in the<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_51" id="Page_51">[Pg 51]</a></span> +world. Nelly, can you believe <i>any</i>thing +I say to you?"</p> + +<p>Miss Greenway: "What nonsense! Of +course I can—if you're not too long about +it."</p> + +<p>Welling: "Well, then, the letter in that +envelope was one I wrote to Mrs. Campbell—or +the copy of one."</p> + +<p>Miss Greenway: "The copy?"</p> + +<p>Welling: "But let me explain. You +see, when I got your note asking me to +be sure and come to Mrs. Curwen's—"</p> + +<p>Miss Greenway: "Yes?"</p> + +<p>Welling: "—I had just received an invitation +from Mrs. Campbell for her garden-party, +and I sat down and wrote to +you, and concluded I'd step over and tell +her why I couldn't come, and with that in +mind I addressed your letter—the one I'd +written you—to her."</p> + +<p>Miss Greenway: "With my name inside?"</p> + +<p>Welling: "No; I merely called you +'darling'; and when Mrs. Campbell +opened it she saw it couldn't be for her, +and she took it into her head it must be +for Miss Rice."<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_52" id="Page_52">[Pg 52]</a></span></p> + +<p>Miss Greenway: "For Margaret? What +an idea! But why did she put your envelope +on it?"</p> + +<p>Welling: "She made a copy, for the +joke of it; and then, in her hurry, she enclosed +that in my envelope, and kept the +original and the envelope she'd addressed +to Miss Rice, and—and that's all."</p> + +<p>Miss Greenway: "What a perfectly delightful +muddle! And how shall we get +out of it with Margaret?"</p> + +<p>Welling: "With Margaret? I don't +care for her. It's you that I want to get +out of it with. And you do believe me—you +do forgive me, Nelly?"</p> + +<p>Miss Greenway: "For what?"</p> + +<p>Welling: "For—for—I don't know +what for. But I thought you'd be so +vexed."</p> + +<p>Miss Greenway: "I shouldn't have +liked you to send a letter addressed darling +to Mrs. Curwen; but Mrs. Campbell +is different."</p> + +<p>Welling: "Oh, how archangelically sensible! +How divine of you to take it in +just the right way!"</p> + +<p class="figcenter" style="width: 348px;"> +<a name="MR_WELLING_EXPLAINS" id="MR_WELLING_EXPLAINS"></a> +<img src="images/image004.jpg" width="348" height="600" alt="MR. WELLING EXPLAINS." title="MR. WELLING EXPLAINS." /> +<span class="caption">MR. WELLING EXPLAINS.</span> +</p> + +<p>Miss Greenway: "Why, of course!<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_53" id="Page_53">[Pg 53]</a></span> +How stupid I should be to take such a +thing in the wrong way!"</p> + +<p>Welling: "And I'm so glad now I +didn't try to lie to you about it."</p> + +<p>Miss Greenway: "It wouldn't have been +of any use. You couldn't have carried +off anything of that sort. The truth is +bad enough for <i>you</i> to carry off. Promise +me that you will always leave the +other thing to <i>me</i>."</p> + +<p>Welling: "I will, darling; I will, indeed."</p> + +<p>Miss Greenway: "And now we must +tell Margaret, of course."</p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h2><a name="X" id="X"></a>X<br /><br /> + +<i>MISS RICE; then MR. and MRS. CAMPBELL, +and the OTHERS</i></h2> + + +<p>Miss Rice, rushing in upon them, and +clasping Miss Greenway in a fond embrace: +"You needn't. Mrs. Campbell has +told me; and oh, Nelly, I'm so happy for +you! And isn't it all the greatest mix?"</p> + +<p>Campbell, rushing in, and wringing<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_54" id="Page_54">[Pg 54]</a></span> +Welling's hand: "You needn't tell me, +either; I've been listening, and I've heard +every word. I congratulate you, my dear +boy! I'd no idea she'd let you up so easily. +You'll allow yourself it isn't a very +likely story."</p> + +<p>Welling: "I know it. But—"</p> + +<p>Miss Rice: "That's the very reason no +one could have made it up."</p> + +<p>Miss Greenway: "<i>He</i> couldn't have +made up even a likely story."</p> + +<p>Campbell: "Congratulate you again, +Welling. Do you suppose she can keep +so always?"</p> + +<p>Mrs. Campbell, rushing in with extended +hands: "Don't answer the wretch, +Mr. Welling. Of course she can with +<i>you</i>. Dansons!" She gives a hand to +Miss Greenway and Welling each; the +others join them, and as they circle round +the table she sings,</p> + +<div class="poem"><div class="stanza"> +<span class="i0"><i>"Sur le pont d'Avignon,</i><br /></span> +<span class="i0"><i>Tout le monde y danse en rond."</i><br /></span> +</div></div> + + +<p class="center">THE END</p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h2><a name="BY_WILLIAM_DEAN_HOWELLS" id="BY_WILLIAM_DEAN_HOWELLS"></a>BY WILLIAM DEAN HOWELLS.</h2> + + +<ul> +<li>THE COAST OF BOHEMIA. Illustrated. 12mo, +Cloth, $1.50.</li> + +<li>THE WORLD OF CHANCE. 12mo, Cloth, $1.50; +Paper, 60 cents.</li> + +<li>THE QUALITY OF MERCY. 12mo, Cloth, $1.50; +Paper, 75 cents.</li> + +<li>AN IMPERATIVE DUTY. 12mo, Cloth, $1.00; +Paper, 50 cents.</li> + +<li>A HAZARD OF NEW FORTUNES. 2 vols., 12mo, +Cloth, $2.00; 1 vol., Illustrated, Paper, $1.00.</li> + +<li>THE SHADOW OF A DREAM, 12mo, Cloth, $1.00; +Paper, 50 cents.</li> + +<li>ANNIE KILBURN. 12mo, Cloth, $1.50; Paper, 75 +cents.</li> + +<li>APRIL HOPES. 12mo, Cloth, $1.50; Paper, 75 cents.</li> + +<li>CHRISTMAS EVERY DAY, and Other Stories. Illustrated. +Post 8vo, Cloth, $1.25.</li> + +<li>A BOY'S TOWN. Illustrated. Post 8vo, Cloth, $1.25.</li> + +<li>THE MOUSE-TRAP, and Other Farces. Illustrated. +32mo, Cloth, $1.00.</li> + +<li>MY YEAR IN A LOG-CABIN. Illustrated. 32mo, +Cloth, 50 cents.</li> + +<li>A LITTLE SWISS SOJOURN. Illustrated. 32mo, +Cloth, 50 cents.</li> + +<li>FARCES: <i>A Likely Story</i>—<i>The Mouse-Trap</i>—<i>Five +O'Clock Tea</i>—<i>Evening Dress</i>—<i>The Unexpected Guests</i>—<i>A +Letter of Introduction</i>—<i>The Albany Depot</i>—<i>The +Garroters</i>. Illustrated. 32mo, Cloth, 50 cents each.</li> + +<li>CRITICISM AND FICTION. 16mo, Cloth, $1.00.</li> + +<li>MODERN ITALIAN POETS. 12mo, Cloth, $2.00.</li> +</ul> + +<p class="center"><span class="smcap">Published by HARPER & BROTHERS, New York.</span></p> + +<p class="center">☞<small><i>For sale by all booksellers, or will be sent by the +publishers, postage prepaid, to any part of the United +States, Canada, or Mexico, on receipt of the price.</i></small></p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h2><a name="HARPERS_AMERICAN_ESSAYISTS" id="HARPERS_AMERICAN_ESSAYISTS"></a>HARPER'S AMERICAN ESSAYISTS.</h2> + +<p class="center">With Portraits. 16mo, Cloth, $1.00 each.</p> + + +<ul> +<li>LITERARY AND SOCIAL SILHOUETTES. By +<span class="smcap">Hjalmar Hjorth Boyesen</span>.</li> + +<li>STUDIES OF THE STAGE. By <span class="smcap">Brander Matthews</span>.</li> + +<li>AMERICANISMS AND BRITICISMS, with Other +Essays on Other Isms. By <span class="smcap">Brander Matthews</span>.</li> + +<li>AS WE GO. By <span class="smcap">Charles Dudley Warner</span>. With +Illustrations.</li> + +<li>AS WE WERE SAYING. By <span class="smcap">Charles Dudley +Warner</span>. With Illustrations.</li> + +<li>FROM THE EASY CHAIR. By <span class="smcap">George William +Curtis</span>.</li> + +<li>FROM THE EASY CHAIR. <i>Second Series.</i> By +<span class="smcap">George William Curtis</span>.</li> + +<li>FROM THE EASY CHAIR. <i>Third Series.</i> By +<span class="smcap">George William Curtis</span>.</li> + +<li>CRITICISM AND FICTION. By <span class="smcap">William Dean +Howells</span>.</li> + +<li>FROM THE BOOKS OF LAURENCE HUTTON.</li> + +<li>CONCERNING ALL OF US. By <span class="smcap">Thomas Wentworth +Higginson</span>.</li> + +<li>THE WORK OF JOHN RUSKIN. By <span class="smcap">Charles +Waldstein</span>.</li> + +<li>PICTURE AND TEXT. By <span class="smcap">Henry James</span>. With +Illustrations.</li></ul> + +<p class="center"><span class="smcap">Published by HARPER & BROTHERS, New York.</span></p> + +<p class="center">☞<small><i>For sale by all booksellers, or will be sent by the publishers, +postage prepaid, to any part of the United States, Canada, +or Mexico, on receipt of the price.</i></small></p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h2> +THE ODD NUMBER SERIES.</h2> +<p class="center"> +16mo, Cloth, Ornamental.<br /> +</p> + + +<ul> +<li>PARISIAN POINTS OF VIEW. By <span class="smcap">Ludovic Halévy</span>. +Translated by <span class="smcap">Edith V. B. Matthews</span>. $1.00.</li> + +<li>DAME CARE. By <span class="smcap">Hermann Sudermann</span>. Translated +by <span class="smcap">Bertha Overbeck</span>. $1.00.</li> + +<li>TALES OF TWO COUNTRIES. By <span class="smcap">Alexander +Kielland</span>. Translated by <span class="smcap">William Archer</span>. $1.00.</li> + +<li>TEN TALES BY FRANÇOIS COPPÉE. Translated +by <span class="smcap">Walter Learned</span>. 50 Illustrations. $1.25.</li> + +<li>MODERN GHOSTS. Selected and Translated. $1.00.</li> + +<li>THE HOUSE BY THE MEDLAR-TREE. By +<span class="smcap">Giovanni Verga</span>. Translated from the Italian by +<span class="smcap">Mary A. Craig</span>. $1.00.</li> + +<li>PASTELS IN PROSE. Translated by <span class="smcap">Stuart Merrill</span>. +150 Illustrations. $1.25.</li> + +<li>MARIA: A South American Romance. By <span class="smcap">Jorge +Isaacs</span>. Translated by <span class="smcap">Rollo Ogden</span>. $1.00.</li> + +<li>THE ODD NUMBER. Thirteen Tales by <span class="smcap">Guy de +Maupassant</span>. The Translation by <span class="smcap">Jonathan +Sturges</span>. $1.00.</li></ul> + +<p class="center">Other volumes to follow.</p> + +<p class="center"><span class="smcap">Published by HARPER & BROTHERS, New York.</span></p> + +<p class="center">☞<small><i>Any of the above works will be sent by mail, postage +prepaid, to any part of the United States, Canada, +or Mexico, on receipt of the price.</i></small></p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h2><a name="BY_BRANDER_MATTHEWS" id="BY_BRANDER_MATTHEWS"></a>BY BRANDER MATTHEWS.</h2> + + +<ul> +<li>STUDIES OF THE STAGE. With Portrait. 16mo, +Cloth, Ornamental, $1.00.</li> + +<li>Mr. Matthews writes of the stage intelligently and appreciatively—more +so, perhaps, than most Americans, +for the reason that he writes from the point of view of +the stage rather than that of the front of the house.—<i>Philadelphia +Times.</i></li> + +<li>THE STORY OF A STORY, and Other Stories. 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Y. +</li> + +<li>Miss Woolson is one of the few novelists of the day +who know how to make conversation, how to individualize +the speakers, how to exclude rabid realism without +falling into literary formality.—<i>N. Y. Tribune.</i></li> +</ul> + +<p class="center"><span class="smcap">Published by HARPER & BROTHERS, New York.</span></p> + +<p class="center">☞<small><i>Any of the above works will be sent by mail, postage +prepaid, to any part of the United States, Canada, or +Mexico, on receipt of the price.</i></small></p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h2><a name="By_MARY_E_WILKINS" id="By_MARY_E_WILKINS"></a><span class="smcap">By</span> MARY E. WILKINS.</h2> + + +<ul><li><span class="smcap">Pembroke.</span> A Novel. Illustrated. 16mo, +Cloth, Ornamental, $1.50.</li> + +<li><span class="smcap">Jane Field.</span> A Novel. Illustrated. 16mo, +Cloth, Ornamental, $1.25.</li> + +<li><span class="smcap">Giles Corey, Yeoman.</span> A Play. 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Tribune.</i></li> +</ul> + +<p class="center"><span class="smcap">Published by HARPER & BROTHERS, New York.</span></p> + +<p class="center">☞<small><i>For sale by all booksellers, or will be sent by mail, +postage prepaid, to any part of the United States, Canada, +or Mexico, on receipt of the price.</i></small></p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h2><a name="By_GEORGE_WILLIAM_CURTIS" id="By_GEORGE_WILLIAM_CURTIS"></a><span class="smcap">By</span> GEORGE WILLIAM CURTIS.</h2> + + +<ul><li>ORATIONS AND ADDRESSES. Three Volumes. +8vo, Cloth, Uncut Edges and Gilt Tops, $3.50 each.</li> + +<li>FROM THE EASY CHAIR. With Portrait. 16mo, +Cloth, Ornamental, $1.00.</li> + +<li>FROM THE EASY CHAIR. <i>Second Series.</i> With +Portrait. 16mo, Cloth, Ornamental, $1.00.</li> + +<li>FROM THE EASY CHAIR. <i>Third Series.</i> With +Portrait. 16mo, Cloth, Ornamental, $1.00.</li> + +<li>PRUE AND I. Illustrated Edition. 8vo, Illuminated +Silk, $3.50. Also 12mo, Cloth, Gilt Top, $1.50.</li> + +<li>LOTUS-EATING. Illustrated. 12mo, Cloth, Gilt +Top, $1.50.</li> + +<li>NILE NOTES OF A HOWADJI. 12mo, Cloth, +Gilt Top, $1.50.</li> + +<li>THE HOWADJI IN SYRIA. 12mo, Cloth, Gilt +Top, $1.50.</li> + +<li>THE POTIPHAR PAPERS. Illustrated. 12mo, +Cloth, Gilt Top, $1.50.</li> + +<li>TRUMPS. A Novel. Illustrated. 12mo, Cloth, Gilt +Top, $1.50.</li> + +<li>JAMES RUSSELL LOWELL. Illustrated. 32mo, +Cloth, Ornamental, 50 cents.</li> + +<li>WENDELL PHILLIPS. 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