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diff --git a/.gitattributes b/.gitattributes new file mode 100644 index 0000000..6833f05 --- /dev/null +++ b/.gitattributes @@ -0,0 +1,3 @@ +* text=auto +*.txt text +*.md text diff --git a/28079-h.zip b/28079-h.zip Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..9080662 --- /dev/null +++ b/28079-h.zip diff --git a/28079-h/28079-h.htm b/28079-h/28079-h.htm new file mode 100644 index 0000000..40f5ab0 --- /dev/null +++ b/28079-h/28079-h.htm @@ -0,0 +1,1428 @@ +<!DOCTYPE html PUBLIC "-//W3C//DTD XHTML 1.0 Strict//EN" + "http://www.w3.org/TR/xhtml1/DTD/xhtml1-strict.dtd"> + +<html xmlns="http://www.w3.org/1999/xhtml" xml:lang="en" lang="en"> + <head> + <meta http-equiv="Content-Type" content="text/html;charset=iso-8859-1" /> + <meta http-equiv="Content-Style-Type" content="text/css" /> + <title> + The Project Gutenberg eBook of The Honest American Voter's Little Catechism for 1880, by Blythe Harding. + </title> + <style type="text/css"> +/*<![CDATA[ XML blockout */ +<!-- + + /* Body Attributes */ + + body { + margin-left: 15%; + margin-right: 15%; + } + + /* All Headings Centered */ + + h1 { + text-align: center; + clear: both; + } + + h2 { + text-align: center; + clear: both; + margin-top: 1em; + margin-bottom: 1.5em; + } + + /* Paragraphs */ + + p { + margin-top: .75em; + text-align: justify; + margin-bottom: .75em; + } + + /* Horizontal Lines and Thought Breaks */ + + hr.major { + width: 65%; + margin-top: 3em; + margin-right: auto; + margin-bottom: 3em; + margin-left: auto; + clear: both; + color: silver; + } + + hr.minor { + width: 35%; + margin-left: auto; + margin-right: auto; + clear: both; + color: silver; + } + + hr.spacer { + width: 0%; + margin-top: 4em; + margin-right: auto; + margin-bottom: 0em; + margin-left: auto; + clear: both; + visibility: hidden; + } + + /* Page Numbers */ + + .pagenum { + position: absolute; + left: 5%; + font-size: 85%; + font-weight: normal; + font-style: normal; + text-align: right; + color: silver; + } + + /* Font Attributes */ + + .center {text-align: center;} + .smcap {font-variant: small-caps;} + + .size120 {font-size: 120%; } + .size75 {font-size: 75%; } + .size60 {font-size: 60%; } + .size50 {font-size: 50%; } + .size40 {font-size: 40%; } + + .rind {text-align: right; + margin-right: 1em;} + + .lind {text-align: left; + margin-left: 1em;} + + /* Transcriber's Note and Corrections */ + + .tnote { border: dashed 1px; + padding: .5em; + margin-top: 3em; + margin-bottom: 3em; + page-break-after: always; } + + .tnote p { text-indent: 0; + margin-top: .5em; + font-size: 85%;} + + .tnote h3 { text-indent: 0; + text-align: left; + font-size: 110%; + font-style: normal; + font-weight: bold; + padding-top: 0; + letter-spacing: 0;} + +--> +/* XML end ]]>*/ + </style> + </head> +<body> + + +<pre> + +The Project Gutenberg EBook of The Honest American Voter's Little +Catechism for 1880, by Blythe Harding + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: The Honest American Voter's Little Catechism for 1880 + +Author: Blythe Harding + +Release Date: February 14, 2009 [EBook #28079] + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ISO-8859-1 + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK VOTER'S LITTLE CATECHISM *** + + + + +Produced by C. St. Charleskindt and the Online Distributed +Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net (This file was +produced from images generously made available by The +Internet Archive/American Libraries.) + + + + + + +</pre> + + +<hr class="major" /> + +<h1><span class="size50">THE</span> +<br /> +<br /> +<span class="size60">HONEST AMERICAN VOTER'S</span> +<br /> +<br /> +<br /> +LITTLE CATECHISM +<br /> +<br /> +<span class="size40">FOR</span> +<br /> +<br /> +1880.</h1> + +<hr class="spacer" /> + +<div class="center"> +<span class="size75">BY</span> +<br /> +<br /> +<span class="size120">BLYTHE HARDING.</span> +</div> + +<hr class="spacer" /> + +<hr class="minor" /> + +<div class="center"> +<span class="size75">Copyrighted, 1880.</span> + +<hr class="minor" /> + +<hr class="spacer" /> + +NEW YORK: +<br /> +<br /> +<span class="size75">John Polhemus, Publisher, 102 Nassau Street.</span> +</div> + +<hr class="major" /> + +<h2>PREFACE.</h2> + +<p>I was invited the other day to take down, as Stenographer, what +purported to be a discussion upon some general political topics, and +more especially on the forthcoming presidential election. One of the +disputants entrenched himself in what, I believe, scholars call the +Socratic method, that is, he <i>pumped</i> his supposed antagonist dry. +Whether the world at large may think the dialogue as funny as I did +myself, I can form no opinion. It is to solve this question that I give +it to the public.</p> + +<p class="rind">BLYTHE HARDING.</p> + +<p class="lind"><span class="smcap">New York</span>, <i>August 31st, 1880</i>.</p> + +<hr class="major" /> + +<div> +<!-- Page 3 --> + +<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_3" id="Page_3">[Pg 3]</a></span> +</div> + +<h2>THE DIALOGUE.</h2> + +<p>What is a republic?</p> + +<p>—A state, or Union of states, in which the people holds supreme power.</p> + +<p>How does the people exercise this power?</p> + +<p>—Through men elected for this purpose.</p> + +<p>What are these men called?</p> + +<p>—Senators and members of Congress or Congressmen.</p> + +<p>Is there a head or chief in a republic?</p> + +<p>—Certainly.</p> + +<p>What is he called?</p> + +<p>—The President.</p> + +<p>Must the President be elected?</p> + +<p>—Yes, by the people.</p> + +<p>Who declares the voice of the people in this matter?</p> + +<p>—The electors of the different states, appointed to do it by the +people.</p> + +<p>Is it necessary that the whole people should agree on one man in order +to elect him?</p> + +<p>—No; it only needs a majority of the nation, voting through the +electors.</p> + +<p>Do the votes of the electors generally follow the voice of the people in +the different states?</p> + +<p>—They ought to follow it.</p> + +<p>Are the electors considered bound to vote as the majority of the people +in their different states direct?</p> + +<p>—Undoubtedly they are.</p> + +<p>Then it is fair to say that the vote of a majority of the electors show +which way the majority of the people voted?</p> + +<p>—That's a simple question. Why, of course!</p> + +<p>What are the duties of the President?</p> + +<p>—To mind the business of the nation, and his own, too.</p> + +<p>Anything else?</p> + +<p><!-- Page 4 --> + +<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_4" id="Page_4">[Pg 4]</a></span> + +—Isn't that enough?</p> + +<p>Well, but what is that business?</p> + +<p>—The business of the nation?</p> + +<p>Yes.</p> + +<p>—He makes treaties, weeds out old political hacks, and sends them on +embassies where they cannot annoy him, and have nothing to do; appoints +Judges of the Supreme Court like Joe Bradley, when he wants to play +eight-to-seven, commands the army and navy, gets fifty thousand dollars +a year, takes all the presents he can get, lives in the White House, and +does a kind of general housekeeping business for the country.</p> + +<p>I was not talking of Grant. Let that go. Does he do anything else?</p> + +<p>—Yes; if he comes from Ohio, he fills nearly every place he's got to +give away with lean, hungry Ohio men, so that you can get a "whiff" of +that state all over Washington, and in a good many other places too, any +time of the day or night.</p> + +<p>Really I don't understand you. All our Presidents do not come from Ohio +or Illinois!</p> + +<p>—Thank God they don't.</p> + +<p>Just tell me what the Senators have to do?</p> + +<p>—To prevent Congressmen from making fools of themselves.</p> + +<p>Anything else?</p> + +<p>—Yes; to keep an eye on the "jobs" Congressmen are always trying to put +through.</p> + +<p>What are the duties of Congressmen?</p> + +<p>—God knows! I don't think they do themselves.</p> + +<p>What should you think?</p> + +<p>—From the way they go on, I should say: to make a grab whenever they +can.</p> + +<p>Who is now President of the United States?</p> + +<p>—Samuel J. Tilden.</p> + +<p>That is a mistake. The present President of the United States is +Rutherford B. Hayes.</p> + +<p>—He is, is he? Yes, just about as much as I'm owner of Central Park, +when I sit down on a bench there.</p> + +<p>What do you mean?</p> + +<p><!-- Page 5 --> + +<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_5" id="Page_5">[Pg 5]</a></span> + +—I mean to say a man can't be President of this country unless he is +elected, and Hayes was never elected.</p> + +<p>Who was elected then?</p> + +<p>—Why, Samuel J. Tilden, to be sure!</p> + +<p>Then how did Hayes get in?</p> + +<p>—He had some "statesmen" working for him, who kept the right man out +and pushed him in.</p> + +<p>Do you really mean that?</p> + +<p>—As certain as death.</p> + +<p>Very strange! Who were these "statesmen;" I suppose you mean his +friends?</p> + +<p>—Friends, indeed! Yes, like wolves are to sheep.</p> + +<p>Is Mr. Hayes a sheep?</p> + +<p>—The people that put him where he is, have made him sheepish enough; +but he isn't a sheep. His hide is too thick for that. He would be a +mule, <i>only he isn't quite big enough</i>.</p> + +<p>Ah! You have a strange way of expressing yourself. But tell me, who were +his "friends" as you call them?</p> + +<p>—The same men that "worked" Grant.</p> + +<p>What do you mean by "working" Grant?</p> + +<p>—Putting a pair of "blinkers" on him, and then stealing everything they +could lay their hands on; and then when they were going to be turned +out, stealing the presidency so as to get another "hack" at the "swag."</p> + +<p>Really, this language sounds dreadful, I don't understand it; but I +suppose you mean right.</p> + +<p>—Mean right? I should think I do. I <i>am</i> right. Only in talking of +thieves, I am using the language of thieves. They simply wanted to keep +their places and go on plundering the people.</p> + +<p>Speaking about General Grant, what kind of a President was he?</p> + +<p>—The best judge of whiskey, cigars and horses that ever stepped into +the White House.</p> + +<p>Heavens! how dull you are! I'm not talking about whiskey and cigars, I +mean what were his gifts?</p> + +<p><!-- Page 6 --> + +<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_6" id="Page_6">[Pg 6]</a></span> + +—Gifts? to whom? I never heard that he made any gifts. He took +everything offered him from a brownstone front downwards, until it got +to a bull-pup with the expressage unpaid—there he stopped.</p> + +<p>Shall I ever get you to understand me? I mean had he any good qualities?</p> + +<p>—Yes; he had. He wore a padlock on his mouth, was a rattling fighter, +and stuck to his friends. In fact, he was generally bull-headed, <i>as it +were</i>.</p> + +<p>Good enough! But these are not the qualities I am speaking of. I mean +qualities that the people look for in a President. Perhaps "sticking to +his friends" may have been one. What do you mean by that?</p> + +<p>—What do I mean? Why, screening and protecting a set of rascals not +half as honest as nine-tenths of the men in jail for robbery.</p> + +<p>Do you mean me to understand by screening that he did what they do with +coal, sift out the little ones and keep in the big ones?</p> + +<p>—Not at all. There was no "sift" to Grant; he stuck to the whole lot +until the Republican party told him he must either let them go or lose +the country.</p> + +<p>By the way, are the Republicans good people?</p> + +<p>—Yes; just as good as any other, and a good deal better, if they were +only Democrats.</p> + +<p>Why do you complain of them, then?</p> + +<p>—I don't complain of the honest Republican people of the country. I +complain of the Republican politicians.</p> + +<p>What is a "politician?"</p> + +<p>—Sometimes an honest man like John Morrissey; hardly ever a fool; +generally a knave.</p> + +<p>What do you mean by a political party?</p> + +<p>—The term has two meanings. First, all the honest people of the country +who believe in a given set of political principles. Secondly, it means +all the political office-holders, <i>managers</i> and wire-pullers, whose +business is to throw dust in the eyes of the non-politicians (<i>i. e.</i>, +the simple voters).</p> + +<p><!-- Page 7 --> + +<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_7" id="Page_7">[Pg 7]</a></span> + +<i>In this latter sense</i> how many parties are there?</p> + +<p>—A good many people think there is only one.</p> + +<p>To what party does Mr. Hayes belong?</p> + +<p>—To the Orange party.</p> + +<p>What is that?</p> + +<p>—The temperance party that takes its rum in iced oranges.</p> + +<p>Is he an able man?</p> + +<p>—Yes; able to take a kicking from the Republicans better than any other +man in the country.</p> + +<p>What do you mean by taking a kicking?</p> + +<p>—Why, accepting the toe of the political boot.</p> + +<p>Can you name any one who has operated on him in this delicate manner?</p> + +<p>—Yes; Roscoe Conkling.</p> + +<p>Would you call <i>him</i> a good kicker or bootist?</p> + +<p>—Yes; tip-top.</p> + +<p>What proof have you of this?</p> + +<p>—When Hayes and Sherman kicked Cornell out of office, Roscoe kicked him +back on them as governor of the state of New York. When they kicked +Arthur out of the custom-house, Roscoe kicked him into the second place +on the Republican ticket.</p> + +<p>Any further proof?</p> + +<p>—Yes; he kicked Evarts to New York to talk for Cornell, whom, as before +said, the administration kicked out. John Sherman was afraid of his toe +when he spoke lately at Washington <i>in favor</i> of the man whom he forced +the President to kick out, saying he was unfit for the office he held. +At last it looks as if Roscoe was going to kick himself into talking for +Garfield, whom he despises.</p> + +<p>Why should he do that?</p> + +<p>—Oh! it's only the "machine" working.</p> + +<p>I don't understand.</p> + +<p>—Have you ever seen a bull trying to stop a locomotive?</p> + +<p>No.</p> + +<p>—Well, if ever you do, you'll see something like a politician + +<!-- Page 8 --> + +<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_8" id="Page_8">[Pg 8]</a></span> + +trying to butt against the "party," <i>alias</i> the "machine."</p> + +<p>Then is the great bootist afraid of the "machine?"</p> + +<p>—I don't think he's afraid of anything. But he knows there's no use +kicking against <i>that</i>.</p> + +<p>By the way, you said Hayes had been put into office without being +elected, had Conkling anything to do with that?</p> + +<p>—No. He's too proud a man to stoop to any dirty work. He has held +Hayes' administration at arm's length, and never gone near them except +when he was on the "kick."</p> + +<p>Then who did put Hayes into office?</p> + +<p>—There were a good many in the job. Thirty-three in Florida and +seventy-two in Louisiana; Garfield and John Sherman, chief "engineers."</p> + +<p>Do you mean to say that the man nominated by the Republicans for +President, and the Secretary of the Treasury countenanced the men who +forced Hayes on the country?</p> + +<p>—If not, why were rewards promised the rascals for doing it? When the +job was done, and Hayes inaugurated, every one of the scoundrels was +"provided for."</p> + +<p>Didn't the other party protest?</p> + +<p>—Of course they did. But it was the old story of the fly and spider.</p> + +<p>In what way?</p> + +<p>—The 'Pubs got the 'Crats to consent to have the difficulty settled by +an Electoral Commission and then euchred them.</p> + +<p>How?</p> + +<p>—Simple enough. There were eight 'Pubs on the Commission and seven +'Crats. They met. Up gets old Evarts. Says he to the Commissioners: +"Boys"—I mean—"Gentlemen! The first duty of a Judge, if he wants very +badly to find the 'cat in the bag,' is to look up the chimney." Here he +winked at the Judges on Joe Bradley's side. They say he looked very much +like Beecher, when he proved his innocence in Brooklyn. + +<!-- Page 9 --> + +<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_9" id="Page_9">[Pg 9]</a></span> + +"Therefore," says he, "if the involutionary concatenation of a political residuum +approximates to the concordant volitions of a Republican effervescence, +it is extra self-evident that judicial investigation into supernumerary +circumstantial totality, is beyond the hypodermic flexal radiation of +your illustrations." The argument was short, but it settled the case!</p> + +<p>But I don't understand a word of it.</p> + +<p>—What does that matter? He didn't himself. But they voted on the +question all the same.</p> + +<p>How did the vote go?</p> + +<p>—Well, that <i>is</i> a simple question! Why eight to seven, to be sure! +What he said was supposed to mean they had no right to take evidence. +The 'Pubs agreed with him. They said they were there to do nothing, and +intended to do it, and pay attention to it. They were eight. And they +voted eight—eight, eight, eight, eight—every time.</p> + +<p>Well, but what had Garfield particularly to do with this?</p> + +<p>—First of all he said in Congress: "The Commission is clothed with +power to hear and determine the vote of any state." * * * He declared on +his honor (!) that the Commission had power to go down into the states +and <i>review</i> the act of every officer, to <i>open every ballot box</i>, and +to pass judgment on <i>every ballot</i> cast by seven millions of Americans. +He said they had all the powers of the Senate and House of +Representatives to examine into everything.</p> + +<p>And then?</p> + +<p>—Well, then, as he was playing euchre, he popped the "joker" (himself) +on the 'Crats' left bower, and voted the Commission had no right to do +anything of the sort. In the next game the "<i>joker</i>" will be discarded.</p> + +<p>How about the 'Crats, as you call them?</p> + +<p>—Well, as they were only seven, and couldn't be in two places at once, +and vote fourteen, they threw up their hand.</p> + +<p>Why, this was simply a farce?</p> + +<p>—That's so; but it's very curious the people that were watching the +farce didn't see anything funny about it, + +<!-- Page 10 --> + +<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_10" id="Page_10">[Pg 10]</a></span> + +or laugh. They were quiet—very quiet. I think they had a notion the tragedy would come +later, and then they'd change the <i>cast</i>, and take a hand in themselves, +just to see how it would go.</p> + +<p>Please, explain yourself?</p> + +<p>—Well, during the farce, the Electoral Commission, Garfield being one, +were the actors, and the people were the spectators. During the tragedy +the people will be the actors, and Garfield, the Electoral Commission, +and the "machine" politicians will be the spectators—a very <i>select</i> +audience. Admission free. The stage will be rather large, about the size +of the United States. Lots of room for the audience. After the play +there will be a procession to the White House in Washington. The actors +will invite their special friends to it. I don't think Garfield, the +Electoral Commission, or the Republican "machine" engineers, will get +cards of invitation. They will, perhaps, be asked to a free lunch in +Ohio.</p> + +<p>Now for the application.</p> + +<p>—Well, you must remember the American people are not born idiots. They +saw through the whole of this Electoral Commission business, and they +kept quiet. They were enraged, however, to think these politicians could +imagine them so dead daft. I think, too, at one time they were within an +ace of letting themselves out. If they had, there would have been bad +work!</p> + +<p>They did better to wait.</p> + +<p>—To be sure; but what kills one is to see these same wire-pullers +putting up a man like Garfield for President. Why, he's got the +rottenest record of the whole lot. You hear them say he's a statesman. +Yes, indeed! and I'm Sultan of Turkey. He's nothing more than a common +political hack, and an unsafe one at that.</p> + +<p>How so?</p> + +<p>—<i>His own party</i> convicted him of bribe-taking, after he had sworn he +did nothing of the sort; many newspapers, on his own side, wanted him +expelled from the House. Heaven knows what the <i>hidden</i> doings of a man +like that are. The samples that have come to light are the worst +possible. To wind up with, he went + +<!-- Page 11 --> + +<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_11" id="Page_11">[Pg 11]</a></span> + +to Chicago expressly to look after +John Sherman's interests for the nomination, and then sold him clean +out, boots, hat and all! No wonder he said: "My God, what will John +Sherman say?"</p> + +<p>And what did Sherman say?</p> + +<p>—The "machine" put the screw on, and <i>honest</i> John Sherman had to say +he was the best man in the country to make President.</p> + +<p>Did the audience notice any swelling in John's throat?</p> + +<p>—No; but he got a bad attack of the hiccoughs soon after.</p> + +<p>Stomach too full, I suppose?</p> + +<p>—Exactly. John would have liked to <i>throw up</i> Garfield, but the +"machine" forced John to keep him on his stomach. That's what was the +matter.</p> + +<p>Well, but after all, Garfield served his country?</p> + +<p>—He did, served her a good many dirty tricks.</p> + +<p>That's not what I mean. Didn't he serve in the army?</p> + +<p>—What army?</p> + +<p>The regular army.</p> + +<p>—Do you mean to insult that splendid set of officers?</p> + +<p>No, I'm serious.</p> + +<p>—He was a volunteer colonel for about a year, and then slipped into +Congress when Hayes said any man that did so ought to be <i>scalped</i>. +Hayes deserves one for that, anyhow.</p> + +<p>Can you mention any "hot affairs" in which he was engaged?</p> + +<p>—Yes; he led the "left" wing of the Credit Mobilier brigade in the raid +on the Treasury, under Oakes Ames, was desperately wounded and received +honorable mention from Schuyler Colfax, since dismissed the service. He +headed the "forlorn hope" in the attack on the Washington pavements. Was +again badly wounded; this time in the—no, I mean, <i>from</i> behind by his +own men. In this attack a <i>private</i> named de Golyer used a $5,000 dollar +bill for wadding, which was found when the wound was probed. This wound +is still open, as well as the first, and both give the <i>daring partisan</i> +constant and dreadful annoyance.</p> + +<p>What <i>great</i> services to the country! Go on, please.</p> + +<p>—He was conspicuous in many other engagements. He covered the advance +of the Salary and Back Pay Brigade + +<!-- Page 12 --> + +<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_12" id="Page_12">[Pg 12]</a></span> + +in another fierce assault on the +Treasury. Here he was so desperately wounded that his friends insisted +on his resigning and nursing his * * * character. He refused, and his +fellow soldiers have nominated him to supersede General Hayes as +Commander-in-Chief of the "Silent Steelers."</p> + +<p>You mean, of course, troops that charge without cheering?</p> + +<p>—Not much! I mean a corps of "crack"(s)men. They are also called the +"Stealthy Purloiners."</p> + +<p>Can you mention any instances of Garfield's heroism?</p> + +<p>—Loads! but one will be enough. A notorious freshwater buccaneer, named +R-be-s-n, had joined the ranks. He was just falling into the hands of +the enemy when Garfield seized him by the seat of his pants and the +collar of his jacket, and dragged him back into the lines. The sight was +too much for the enemy. They grounded arms and laughed outright. Two or +three of the men, however, "potted" the heroic Garfield; he was again +wounded just to the right of the end of the spinal column!</p> + +<p>Please give me one more instance?</p> + +<p>—He held the Black Friday bridge against the assault of the banking and +currency column. (Committee.) He reduced the enemy at one blow from +25,000 to 250.</p> + +<p>Good gracious! How? With a sword-stroke?</p> + +<p>—No! with a lead pencil!</p> + +<p>Do you mean he annihilated 20,000 men?</p> + +<p>—No! dollars!</p> + +<p>Explain, if you please.</p> + +<p>—Certainly. Some one high up—very high up—stood in to the tune of +$25,000 in the Fisk and Gould arrangement when they made a "corner" in +gold. The money was sent by express. The manager of the express company +assured the committee, there was no such entry in the book to Mrs. G——. +Sunset Cox astonished them with some of his "reflected" light. He +asked for the book and read out: Mrs. U. S. G., Wh—te Ho—se, money +package, value $25,000.</p> + +<p>Dear me!</p> + +<p>—Yes, and dear me, too! Wait a minute! Up jumps <i>Mentor</i> Garfield and +says: It's only a slight mistake—evidently a mistake—the dot ought to +be removed one figure to the right, thus $250.00. Presto! Gentlemen! Two + +<!-- Page 13 --> + +<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_13" id="Page_13">[Pg 13]</a></span> + +hundred and fifty dollars you see, instead of twenty-five thousand. +His pals remembered this, especially Grant, and he turned him loose on +the Democratic majorities in Louisiana to do the same work.</p> + +<p>He must be the very devil at figures.</p> + +<p>—Just so; but that was <i>wiping out</i> a majority in both cases. In +November he'll have to try his hand at figuring up a majority where it +doesn't exist. Some difference between the two [ahem!] some <i>slight</i> +difference.</p> + +<p>I suppose you allude to the election?</p> + +<p>—Pre ... cisely!</p> + +<p>What is Mr. Garfield doing now?</p> + +<p>—Playing the cat.</p> + +<p>What do you mean?</p> + +<p>—Trying to cover up the record behind him.</p> + +<p>I don't see the allusion?</p> + +<p>—That kind of allusion is seen through the <i>nose</i>.</p> + +<p>Do you think this would be a <i>safe</i> country in Mr. Garfield's hands?</p> + +<p>—What a question! Isn't he a "Jimmy"?</p> + +<p>You mean a "tool" in the hands of the 'Pubs?</p> + +<p>—You've hit it.</p> + +<p>And they are going to make him President?</p> + +<p>—Yes; President of the Salt River Navigation and Improvement Company, +unlimited.</p> + +<p>I thought they were going to make him President of the United States?</p> + +<p>—I think they might if there wasn't some one else in the way.</p> + +<p>Who's that?</p> + +<p>—Hancock.</p> + +<p>The man that signed the Declaration?</p> + +<p>—Yes; the Declaration of Gettysburg.</p> + +<p>What is he?</p> + +<p>—A real gentleman.</p> + +<p>What else?</p> + +<p>—A great soldier.</p> + +<p>Anything more?</p> + +<p>—A true citizen.</p> + +<p>He must be a <i>singular</i> man?</p> + +<p>—He is; there are not <i>two</i> like him in the country.</p> + +<p>I should like to see him.</p> + +<p><!-- Page 14 --> + +<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_14" id="Page_14">[Pg 14]</a></span> + +—Nothing easier. He's big enough. Just <i>walk</i> over to Governor's +Island.</p> + +<p>How can you prove he's a gentleman?</p> + +<p>—He's an officer of the United States army.</p> + +<p>Quite sufficient. Tell me why he's a great soldier.</p> + +<p>—He saved the Union in battle.</p> + +<p>I thought Grant did that?</p> + +<p>—Grant did first-rate fighting; but if Hancock hadn't won at +Gettysburg, Grant and his army might as well have sat down where they +were and gone into the "Tanner" business.</p> + +<p>Did he take a part in any other great battles?</p> + +<p>—Yes; in nearly every battle fought by the army of the Potomac until he +was carried off the field at Gettysburg.</p> + +<p>What did the country think of him?</p> + +<p>—Everything that could be thought of a brave, noble nature.</p> + +<p>What did Congress do?</p> + +<p>—Passed a special vote of thanks to him for his conspicuous part in the +battle that saved the country.</p> + +<p>Of course they passed a vote of thanks to Garfield, too?</p> + +<p>—Yes; a <i>silent</i> vote.</p> + +<p>How do you prove that Hancock is a true citizen?</p> + +<p>—Because he has profound respect for the laws and constitution of his +country.</p> + +<p>When did he show this?</p> + +<p>—He has shown it all his life.</p> + +<p>But more particularly?</p> + +<p>—When the war was over he put up his sword. Grant, Garfield & Co. +insisted he should rule with it. He refused. He told the trembling +Southern people they had the same rights <i>in peace</i> as all other +American citizens, and that he would make his army protect those rights.</p> + +<p>What are those rights?</p> + +<p>—Trial by jury, <i>habeas corpus</i>, free speech and free press.</p> + +<p>Did he put that down in writing?</p> + +<p>—I should think he did. He wrote a letter to old Pease, the governor of +Texas, that must have flashed into him like lightning into a gooseberry +bush.</p> + +<p>Did he write anything else?</p> + +<p>—Yes; the great Order No. 40.</p> + +<p>I remember that. What did Andy Johnson say about it?</p> + +<p><!-- Page 15 --> + +<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_15" id="Page_15">[Pg 15]</a></span> + +—He said: "When a great soldier, with unrestricted power in his hands +to oppress his fellow-men, voluntarily foregoes the chance of gratifying +selfish ambition, and devotes himself to building up the liberties and +strengthening the laws of his country, he presents an example of the +highest public virtue that human nature is capable of practising. +Whenever power <i>above</i> the law courted his acceptance, he calmly put the +temptation aside. By such magnanimous acts of forbearance he won the +universal admiration of mankind, and left a name which has no rival in +the history of the world."</p> + +<p>Did he say anything else?</p> + +<p>—Yes. He said: "I respectfully suggest to Congress that some public +recognition of General Hancock's <i>patriotic</i> conduct is due, if not to +him, to the friends of law and justice throughout the country. Of such +an act as his, at such a time, it is but fit that the dignity should be +vindicated and the virtue proclaimed, so that its value as an example +may not be lost to the nation."</p> + +<p>Did Congress do anything?</p> + +<p>—Never mind Congress. The American people will do it in November by +putting him where George Washington was, so that the whole world may +take a good, long look at him. It's impossible to knock the modesty out +of him, so we'll take it with him, and put it "<i>where it will do the +most good</i>."</p> + +<p>Of course, Garfield felt just like Andy Johnson in this matter?</p> + +<p>—Quite so.</p> + +<p>How did he show it?</p> + +<p>—By bringing a bill into Congress to <i>dismiss</i> General Hancock from the +army for insisting on all the rights of citizens <i>in time of peace</i>.</p> + +<p>Good heavens!</p> + +<p>—Yes, good heavens! I should say so. That wasn't the worst part of it. +He wanted the bill voted on the <i>next</i> day. And the act provided that it +should <i>take effect as soon as it was passed</i>. So that, if General +Hancock had nothing outside his pay, this soldier (?) who ran away from +the field to go "jobbing" in Congress, would the <i>next day</i> have made a +beggar of the man who really saved the Union!</p> + +<p><!-- Page 16 --> + +<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_16" id="Page_16">[Pg 16]</a></span> + +Do you think good, honest Republican voters (I don't mean the "machine" +men), know or remember anything about it?</p> + +<p>—We live so fast that I expect many of them have let it drop out of +their minds. <i>But now's the time for them to remember it.</i></p> + +<p>Has General Hancock shown how he can deal with trying difficulties since +the war?</p> + +<p>—I should rather think so. Do you remember when they had the terrible +riots in Pennsylvania, and so much property was destroyed and so many +lives lost in and about Pittsburgh? Well, the very men who to-day are +talking up Garfield and running down Hancock, were shaking in their +shoes; Schurz, <i>whom Hancock caught trying to make himself invisible at +Gettysburg</i>, among them. It was a regular Quakers' meeting. Finding +they could make no head against it, and that the thing was spreading and +getting to look like a revolution, what did they do? Why, they sent for +the man whom Garfield wanted to beggar and disgrace, and besought him to +take the thing in hand and restore order. They gave him full power.</p> + +<p>And how did he act?</p> + +<p>—Like a brave soldier, a true citizen and a real gentleman. While +protecting the property of capitalists he was kind and forbearing to the +working classes who believed they had a grievance.</p> + +<p>What was the result?</p> + +<p>—That dreadful affair was brought to a close by him without the +shedding of one single drop of blood. Before he took command many had +lost their lives. He put down the riot so firmly but so patiently that +every one admired and praised him.</p> + +<p>Do you think the people of Pennsylvania forget this great service?</p> + +<p>—I wouldn't accuse them of being so ungrateful.</p> + +<p>I suppose Garfield brought in another bill to dismiss him from the army +for not proclaiming martial law, doing the drum-head trial business, and +having a little human-target excursion every day?</p> + +<p>—Come, come! Haven't you had enough of Garfield? Let me ask you one +more question. Which of the two do you think is going to be the next +President?</p> + +<p>I know which of the two <i>ought</i> to be.</p> + +<div class="tnote"> +<h3>Transcriber's Note:</h3> + +<p>The following corrections have been made to this text:</p> + +<p><a href="#Page_8">Page 8</a>: Changed 'to' to 'too' (He's too proud)</p> + +<p><a href="#Page_8">Page 8</a>: Changed . to ? (for doing it?)</p> + +<p><a href="#Page_12">Page 12</a>: Changed 'Commander-in Chief' to 'Commander-in-Chief'</p> + +<p><a href="#Page_16">Page 16</a>: Changed 'Gettysburgh' to 'Gettysburg' to match other cases in the text.</p> + +</div> + + + + + + + + +<pre> + + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of The Honest American Voter's Little +Catechism for 1880, by Blythe Harding + +*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK VOTER'S LITTLE CATECHISM *** + +***** This file should be named 28079-h.htm or 28079-h.zip ***** +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: + http://www.gutenberg.org/2/8/0/7/28079/ + +Produced by C. 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You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: The Honest American Voter's Little Catechism for 1880 + +Author: Blythe Harding + +Release Date: February 14, 2009 [EBook #28079] + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ASCII + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK VOTER'S LITTLE CATECHISM *** + + + + +Produced by C. St. Charleskindt and the Online Distributed +Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net (This file was +produced from images generously made available by The +Internet Archive/American Libraries.) + + + + + + + + + +THE + +HONEST AMERICAN VOTER'S + +LITTLE CATECHISM + +FOR + +1880. + + +BY + +BLYTHE HARDING. + + +Copyrighted, 1880. + + +NEW YORK: + +John Polhemus, Publisher, 102 Nassau Street. + + + + +PREFACE. + + +I was invited the other day to take down, as Stenographer, what +purported to be a discussion upon some general political topics, and +more especially on the forthcoming presidential election. One of the +disputants entrenched himself in what, I believe, scholars call the +Socratic method, that is, he _pumped_ his supposed antagonist dry. +Whether the world at large may think the dialogue as funny as I did +myself, I can form no opinion. It is to solve this question that I +give it to the public. + +BLYTHE HARDING. + +NEW YORK, _August 31st, 1880_. + + + + +THE DIALOGUE. + + +What is a republic? + +--A state, or Union of states, in which the people holds supreme +power. + +How does the people exercise this power? + +--Through men elected for this purpose. + +What are these men called? + +--Senators and members of Congress or Congressmen. + +Is there a head or chief in a republic? + +--Certainly. + +What is he called? + +--The President. + +Must the President be elected? + +--Yes, by the people. + +Who declares the voice of the people in this matter? + +--The electors of the different states, appointed to do it by the +people. + +Is it necessary that the whole people should agree on one man in order +to elect him? + +--No; it only needs a majority of the nation, voting through the +electors. + +Do the votes of the electors generally follow the voice of the people +in the different states? + +--They ought to follow it. + +Are the electors considered bound to vote as the majority of the +people in their different states direct? + +--Undoubtedly they are. + +Then it is fair to say that the vote of a majority of the electors +show which way the majority of the people voted? + +--That's a simple question. Why, of course! + +What are the duties of the President? + +--To mind the business of the nation, and his own, too. + +Anything else? + +--Isn't that enough? + +Well, but what is that business? + +--The business of the nation? + +Yes. + +--He makes treaties, weeds out old political hacks, and sends them +on embassies where they cannot annoy him, and have nothing to do; +appoints Judges of the Supreme Court like Joe Bradley, when he wants +to play eight-to-seven, commands the army and navy, gets fifty +thousand dollars a year, takes all the presents he can get, lives +in the White House, and does a kind of general housekeeping business +for the country. + +I was not talking of Grant. Let that go. Does he do anything else? + +--Yes; if he comes from Ohio, he fills nearly every place he's got +to give away with lean, hungry Ohio men, so that you can get a "whiff" +of that state all over Washington, and in a good many other places +too, any time of the day or night. + +Really I don't understand you. All our Presidents do not come from +Ohio or Illinois! + +--Thank God they don't. + +Just tell me what the Senators have to do? + +--To prevent Congressmen from making fools of themselves. + +Anything else? + +--Yes; to keep an eye on the "jobs" Congressmen are always trying +to put through. + +What are the duties of Congressmen? + +--God knows! I don't think they do themselves. + +What should you think? + +--From the way they go on, I should say: to make a grab whenever +they can. + +Who is now President of the United States? + +--Samuel J. Tilden. + +That is a mistake. The present President of the United States is +Rutherford B. Hayes. + +--He is, is he? Yes, just about as much as I'm owner of Central Park, +when I sit down on a bench there. + +What do you mean? + +--I mean to say a man can't be President of this country unless he +is elected, and Hayes was never elected. + +Who was elected then? + +--Why, Samuel J. Tilden, to be sure! + +Then how did Hayes get in? + +--He had some "statesmen" working for him, who kept the right man +out and pushed him in. + +Do you really mean that? + +--As certain as death. + +Very strange! Who were these "statesmen;" I suppose you mean his +friends? + +--Friends, indeed! Yes, like wolves are to sheep. + +Is Mr. Hayes a sheep? + +--The people that put him where he is, have made him sheepish enough; +but he isn't a sheep. His hide is too thick for that. He would be a +mule, _only he isn't quite big enough_. + +Ah! You have a strange way of expressing yourself. But tell me, who +were his "friends" as you call them? + +--The same men that "worked" Grant. + +What do you mean by "working" Grant? + +--Putting a pair of "blinkers" on him, and then stealing everything +they could lay their hands on; and then when they were going to be +turned out, stealing the presidency so as to get another "hack" at +the "swag." + +Really, this language sounds dreadful, I don't understand it; but +I suppose you mean right. + +--Mean right? I should think I do. I _am_ right. Only in talking of +thieves, I am using the language of thieves. They simply wanted to +keep their places and go on plundering the people. + +Speaking about General Grant, what kind of a President was he? + +--The best judge of whiskey, cigars and horses that ever stepped +into the White House. + +Heavens! how dull you are! I'm not talking about whiskey and cigars, +I mean what were his gifts? + +--Gifts? to whom? I never heard that he made any gifts. He took +everything offered him from a brownstone front downwards, until it +got to a bull-pup with the expressage unpaid--there he stopped. + +Shall I ever get you to understand me? I mean had he any good +qualities? + +--Yes; he had. He wore a padlock on his mouth, was a rattling fighter, +and stuck to his friends. In fact, he was generally bull-headed, _as +it were_. + +Good enough! But these are not the qualities I am speaking of. I mean +qualities that the people look for in a President. Perhaps "sticking +to his friends" may have been one. What do you mean by that? + +--What do I mean? Why, screening and protecting a set of rascals not +half as honest as nine-tenths of the men in jail for robbery. + +Do you mean me to understand by screening that he did what they do +with coal, sift out the little ones and keep in the big ones? + +--Not at all. There was no "sift" to Grant; he stuck to the whole +lot until the Republican party told him he must either let them go +or lose the country. + +By the way, are the Republicans good people? + +--Yes; just as good as any other, and a good deal better, if they +were only Democrats. + +Why do you complain of them, then? + +--I don't complain of the honest Republican people of the country. +I complain of the Republican politicians. + +What is a "politician?" + +--Sometimes an honest man like John Morrissey; hardly ever a fool; +generally a knave. + +What do you mean by a political party? + +--The term has two meanings. First, all the honest people of +the country who believe in a given set of political principles. +Secondly, it means all the political office-holders, _managers_ +and wire-pullers, whose business is to throw dust in the eyes of +the non-politicians (_i. e._, the simple voters). + +_In this latter sense_ how many parties are there? + +--A good many people think there is only one. + +To what party does Mr. Hayes belong? + +--To the Orange party. + +What is that? + +--The temperance party that takes its rum in iced oranges. + +Is he an able man? + +--Yes; able to take a kicking from the Republicans better than any +other man in the country. + +What do you mean by taking a kicking? + +--Why, accepting the toe of the political boot. + +Can you name any one who has operated on him in this delicate manner? + +--Yes; Roscoe Conkling. + +Would you call _him_ a good kicker or bootist? + +--Yes; tip-top. + +What proof have you of this? + +--When Hayes and Sherman kicked Cornell out of office, Roscoe kicked +him back on them as governor of the state of New York. When they +kicked Arthur out of the custom-house, Roscoe kicked him into the +second place on the Republican ticket. + +Any further proof? + +--Yes; he kicked Evarts to New York to talk for Cornell, whom, as +before said, the administration kicked out. John Sherman was afraid +of his toe when he spoke lately at Washington _in favor_ of the man +whom he forced the President to kick out, saying he was unfit for +the office he held. At last it looks as if Roscoe was going to kick +himself into talking for Garfield, whom he despises. + +Why should he do that? + +--Oh! it's only the "machine" working. + +I don't understand. + +--Have you ever seen a bull trying to stop a locomotive? + +No. + +--Well, if ever you do, you'll see something like a politician trying +to butt against the "party," _alias_ the "machine." + +Then is the great bootist afraid of the "machine?" + +--I don't think he's afraid of anything. But he knows there's no use +kicking against _that_. + +By the way, you said Hayes had been put into office without being +elected, had Conkling anything to do with that? + +--No. He's too proud a man to stoop to any dirty work. He has held +Hayes' administration at arm's length, and never gone near them except +when he was on the "kick." + +Then who did put Hayes into office? + +--There were a good many in the job. Thirty-three in Florida and +seventy-two in Louisiana; Garfield and John Sherman, chief +"engineers." + +Do you mean to say that the man nominated by the Republicans for +President, and the Secretary of the Treasury countenanced the men +who forced Hayes on the country? + +--If not, why were rewards promised the rascals for doing it? When +the job was done, and Hayes inaugurated, every one of the scoundrels +was "provided for." + +Didn't the other party protest? + +--Of course they did. But it was the old story of the fly and spider. + +In what way? + +--The 'Pubs got the 'Crats to consent to have the difficulty settled +by an Electoral Commission and then euchred them. + +How? + +--Simple enough. There were eight 'Pubs on the Commission and seven +'Crats. They met. Up gets old Evarts. Says he to the Commissioners: +"Boys"--I mean--"Gentlemen! The first duty of a Judge, if he wants +very badly to find the 'cat in the bag,' is to look up the chimney." +Here he winked at the Judges on Joe Bradley's side. They say he looked +very much like Beecher, when he proved his innocence in Brooklyn. +"Therefore," says he, "if the involutionary concatenation of a +political residuum approximates to the concordant volitions of a +Republican effervescence, it is extra self-evident that judicial +investigation into supernumerary circumstantial totality, is beyond +the hypodermic flexal radiation of your illustrations." The argument +was short, but it settled the case! + +But I don't understand a word of it. + +--What does that matter? He didn't himself. But they voted on the +question all the same. + +How did the vote go? + +--Well, that _is_ a simple question! Why eight to seven, to be sure! +What he said was supposed to mean they had no right to take evidence. +The 'Pubs agreed with him. They said they were there to do nothing, +and intended to do it, and pay attention to it. They were eight. And +they voted eight--eight, eight, eight, eight--every time. + +Well, but what had Garfield particularly to do with this? + +--First of all he said in Congress: "The Commission is clothed with +power to hear and determine the vote of any state." * * * He declared +on his honor (!) that the Commission had power to go down into the +states and _review_ the act of every officer, to _open every ballot +box_, and to pass judgment on _every ballot_ cast by seven millions +of Americans. He said they had all the powers of the Senate and House +of Representatives to examine into everything. + +And then? + +--Well, then, as he was playing euchre, he popped the "joker" +(himself) on the 'Crats' left bower, and voted the Commission had +no right to do anything of the sort. In the next game the "_joker_" +will be discarded. + +How about the 'Crats, as you call them? + +--Well, as they were only seven, and couldn't be in two places at +once, and vote fourteen, they threw up their hand. + +Why, this was simply a farce? + +--That's so; but it's very curious the people that were watching +the farce didn't see anything funny about it, or laugh. They were +quiet--very quiet. I think they had a notion the tragedy would +come later, and then they'd change the _cast_, and take a hand in +themselves, just to see how it would go. + +Please, explain yourself? + +--Well, during the farce, the Electoral Commission, Garfield being +one, were the actors, and the people were the spectators. During the +tragedy the people will be the actors, and Garfield, the Electoral +Commission, and the "machine" politicians will be the spectators--a +very _select_ audience. Admission free. The stage will be rather +large, about the size of the United States. Lots of room for the +audience. After the play there will be a procession to the White +House in Washington. The actors will invite their special friends +to it. I don't think Garfield, the Electoral Commission, or the +Republican "machine" engineers, will get cards of invitation. They +will, perhaps, be asked to a free lunch in Ohio. + +Now for the application. + +--Well, you must remember the American people are not born idiots. +They saw through the whole of this Electoral Commission business, +and they kept quiet. They were enraged, however, to think these +politicians could imagine them so dead daft. I think, too, at one +time they were within an ace of letting themselves out. If they had, +there would have been bad work! + +They did better to wait. + +--To be sure; but what kills one is to see these same wire-pullers +putting up a man like Garfield for President. Why, he's got the +rottenest record of the whole lot. You hear them say he's a +statesman. Yes, indeed! and I'm Sultan of Turkey. He's nothing +more than a common political hack, and an unsafe one at that. + +How so? + +--_His own party_ convicted him of bribe-taking, after he had sworn +he did nothing of the sort; many newspapers, on his own side, wanted +him expelled from the House. Heaven knows what the _hidden_ doings +of a man like that are. The samples that have come to light are the +worst possible. To wind up with, he went to Chicago expressly to +look after John Sherman's interests for the nomination, and then +sold him clean out, boots, hat and all! No wonder he said: "My God, +what will John Sherman say?" + +And what did Sherman say? + +--The "machine" put the screw on, and _honest_ John Sherman had to +say he was the best man in the country to make President. + +Did the audience notice any swelling in John's throat? + +--No; but he got a bad attack of the hiccoughs soon after. + +Stomach too full, I suppose? + +--Exactly. John would have liked to _throw up_ Garfield, but the +"machine" forced John to keep him on his stomach. That's what was +the matter. + +Well, but after all, Garfield served his country? + +--He did, served her a good many dirty tricks. + +That's not what I mean. Didn't he serve in the army? + +--What army? + +The regular army. + +--Do you mean to insult that splendid set of officers? + +No, I'm serious. + +--He was a volunteer colonel for about a year, and then slipped into +Congress when Hayes said any man that did so ought to be _scalped_. +Hayes deserves one for that, anyhow. + +Can you mention any "hot affairs" in which he was engaged? + +--Yes; he led the "left" wing of the Credit Mobilier brigade in the +raid on the Treasury, under Oakes Ames, was desperately wounded and +received honorable mention from Schuyler Colfax, since dismissed the +service. He headed the "forlorn hope" in the attack on the Washington +pavements. Was again badly wounded; this time in the--no, I mean, +_from_ behind by his own men. In this attack a _private_ named de +Golyer used a $5,000 dollar bill for wadding, which was found when +the wound was probed. This wound is still open, as well as the first, +and both give the _daring partisan_ constant and dreadful annoyance. + +What _great_ services to the country! Go on, please. + +--He was conspicuous in many other engagements. He covered the advance +of the Salary and Back Pay Brigade in another fierce assault on the +Treasury. Here he was so desperately wounded that his friends insisted +on his resigning and nursing his * * * character. He refused, and his +fellow soldiers have nominated him to supersede General Hayes as +Commander-in-Chief of the "Silent Steelers." + +You mean, of course, troops that charge without cheering? + +--Not much! I mean a corps of "crack"(s)men. They are also called the +"Stealthy Purloiners." + +Can you mention any instances of Garfield's heroism? + +--Loads! but one will be enough. A notorious freshwater buccaneer, +named R-be-s-n, had joined the ranks. He was just falling into the +hands of the enemy when Garfield seized him by the seat of his pants +and the collar of his jacket, and dragged him back into the lines. +The sight was too much for the enemy. They grounded arms and laughed +outright. Two or three of the men, however, "potted" the heroic +Garfield; he was again wounded just to the right of the end of the +spinal column! + +Please give me one more instance? + +--He held the Black Friday bridge against the assault of the banking +and currency column. (Committee.) He reduced the enemy at one blow +from 25,000 to 250. + +Good gracious! How? With a sword-stroke? + +--No! with a lead pencil! + +Do you mean he annihilated 20,000 men? + +--No! dollars! + +Explain, if you please. + +--Certainly. Some one high up--very high up--stood in to the tune of +$25,000 in the Fisk and Gould arrangement when they made a "corner" +in gold. The money was sent by express. The manager of the express +company assured the committee, there was no such entry in the book to +Mrs. G----. Sunset Cox astonished them with some of his "reflected" +light. He asked for the book and read out: Mrs. U. S. G., Wh--te +Ho--se, money package, value $25,000. + +Dear me! + +--Yes, and dear me, too! Wait a minute! Up jumps _Mentor_ Garfield +and says: It's only a slight mistake--evidently a mistake--the dot +ought to be removed one figure to the right, thus $250.00. Presto! +Gentlemen! Two hundred and fifty dollars you see, instead of +twenty-five thousand. His pals remembered this, especially Grant, +and he turned him loose on the Democratic majorities in Louisiana +to do the same work. + +He must be the very devil at figures. + +--Just so; but that was _wiping out_ a majority in both cases. In +November he'll have to try his hand at figuring up a majority where +it doesn't exist. Some difference between the two [ahem!] some +_slight_ difference. + +I suppose you allude to the election? + +--Pre ... cisely! + +What is Mr. Garfield doing now? + +--Playing the cat. + +What do you mean? + +--Trying to cover up the record behind him. + +I don't see the allusion? + +--That kind of allusion is seen through the _nose_. + +Do you think this would be a _safe_ country in Mr. Garfield's hands? + +--What a question! Isn't he a "Jimmy"? + +You mean a "tool" in the hands of the 'Pubs? + +--You've hit it. + +And they are going to make him President? + +--Yes; President of the Salt River Navigation and Improvement Company, +unlimited. + +I thought they were going to make him President of the United States? + +--I think they might if there wasn't some one else in the way. + +Who's that? + +--Hancock. + +The man that signed the Declaration? + +--Yes; the Declaration of Gettysburg. + +What is he? + +--A real gentleman. + +What else? + +--A great soldier. + +Anything more? + +--A true citizen. + +He must be a _singular_ man? + +--He is; there are not _two_ like him in the country. + +I should like to see him. + +--Nothing easier. He's big enough. Just _walk_ over to Governor's +Island. + +How can you prove he's a gentleman? + +--He's an officer of the United States army. + +Quite sufficient. Tell me why he's a great soldier. + +--He saved the Union in battle. + +I thought Grant did that? + +--Grant did first-rate fighting; but if Hancock hadn't won at +Gettysburg, Grant and his army might as well have sat down where +they were and gone into the "Tanner" business. + +Did he take a part in any other great battles? + +--Yes; in nearly every battle fought by the army of the Potomac until +he was carried off the field at Gettysburg. + +What did the country think of him? + +--Everything that could be thought of a brave, noble nature. + +What did Congress do? + +--Passed a special vote of thanks to him for his conspicuous part +in the battle that saved the country. + +Of course they passed a vote of thanks to Garfield, too? + +--Yes; a _silent_ vote. + +How do you prove that Hancock is a true citizen? + +--Because he has profound respect for the laws and constitution of +his country. + +When did he show this? + +--He has shown it all his life. + +But more particularly? + +--When the war was over he put up his sword. Grant, Garfield & Co. +insisted he should rule with it. He refused. He told the trembling +Southern people they had the same rights _in peace_ as all other +American citizens, and that he would make his army protect those +rights. + +What are those rights? + +--Trial by jury, _habeas corpus_, free speech and free press. + +Did he put that down in writing? + +--I should think he did. He wrote a letter to old Pease, the governor +of Texas, that must have flashed into him like lightning into a +gooseberry bush. + +Did he write anything else? + +--Yes; the great Order No. 40. + +I remember that. What did Andy Johnson say about it? + +--He said: "When a great soldier, with unrestricted power in his +hands to oppress his fellow-men, voluntarily foregoes the chance of +gratifying selfish ambition, and devotes himself to building up the +liberties and strengthening the laws of his country, he presents an +example of the highest public virtue that human nature is capable of +practising. Whenever power _above_ the law courted his acceptance, +he calmly put the temptation aside. By such magnanimous acts of +forbearance he won the universal admiration of mankind, and left a +name which has no rival in the history of the world." + +Did he say anything else? + +--Yes. He said: "I respectfully suggest to Congress that some public +recognition of General Hancock's _patriotic_ conduct is due, if not +to him, to the friends of law and justice throughout the country. Of +such an act as his, at such a time, it is but fit that the dignity +should be vindicated and the virtue proclaimed, so that its value as +an example may not be lost to the nation." + +Did Congress do anything? + +--Never mind Congress. The American people will do it in November by +putting him where George Washington was, so that the whole world may +take a good, long look at him. It's impossible to knock the modesty +out of him, so we'll take it with him, and put it "_where it will do +the most good_." + +Of course, Garfield felt just like Andy Johnson in this matter? + +--Quite so. + +How did he show it? + +--By bringing a bill into Congress to _dismiss_ General Hancock from +the army for insisting on all the rights of citizens _in time of +peace_. + +Good heavens! + +--Yes, good heavens! I should say so. That wasn't the worst part of +it. He wanted the bill voted on the _next_ day. And the act provided +that it should _take effect as soon as it was passed_. So that, if +General Hancock had nothing outside his pay, this soldier (?) who ran +away from the field to go "jobbing" in Congress, would the _next day_ +have made a beggar of the man who really saved the Union! + +Do you think good, honest Republican voters (I don't mean the +"machine" men), know or remember anything about it? + +--We live so fast that I expect many of them have let it drop out of +their minds. _But now's the time for them to remember it._ + +Has General Hancock shown how he can deal with trying difficulties +since the war? + +--I should rather think so. Do you remember when they had the terrible +riots in Pennsylvania, and so much property was destroyed and so many +lives lost in and about Pittsburgh? Well, the very men who to-day are +talking up Garfield and running down Hancock, were shaking in their +shoes; Schurz, _whom Hancock caught trying to make himself invisible +at Gettysburg_, among them. It was a regular Quakers' meeting. +Finding they could make no head against it, and that the thing was +spreading and getting to look like a revolution, what did they do? +Why, they sent for the man whom Garfield wanted to beggar and +disgrace, and besought him to take the thing in hand and restore +order. They gave him full power. + +And how did he act? + +--Like a brave soldier, a true citizen and a real gentleman. While +protecting the property of capitalists he was kind and forbearing +to the working classes who believed they had a grievance. + +What was the result? + +--That dreadful affair was brought to a close by him without the +shedding of one single drop of blood. Before he took command many +had lost their lives. He put down the riot so firmly but so patiently +that every one admired and praised him. + +Do you think the people of Pennsylvania forget this great service? + +--I wouldn't accuse them of being so ungrateful. + +I suppose Garfield brought in another bill to dismiss him from the +army for not proclaiming martial law, doing the drum-head trial +business, and having a little human-target excursion every day? + +--Come, come! Haven't you had enough of Garfield? Let me ask you one +more question. Which of the two do you think is going to be the next +President? + +I know which of the two _ought_ to be. + + + + +Transcriber's Note + +The following corrections have been made to this text: + + Page 8: Changed 'to' to 'too' (He's too proud) + + Page 8: Changed . to ? (for doing it?) + + Page 12: Changed 'Commander-in Chief' to 'Commander-in-Chief' + + Page 16: Changed 'Gettysburgh' to 'Gettysburg' to match other + cases in the text. + + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of The Honest American Voter's Little +Catechism for 1880, by Blythe Harding + +*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK VOTER'S LITTLE CATECHISM *** + +***** This file should be named 28079.txt or 28079.zip ***** +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: + http://www.gutenberg.org/2/8/0/7/28079/ + +Produced by C. 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