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diff --git a/old/7tpsb10.txt b/old/7tpsb10.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..90ff86c --- /dev/null +++ b/old/7tpsb10.txt @@ -0,0 +1,13099 @@ +Project Gutenberg Etext The Paris Sketch Book, by W. M. Thackeray +#21 in our series by William Makepeace Thackeray + +We are releasing two versions of this Etext, one in 7-bit format, +known as Plain Vanilla ASCII, which can be sent via plain email-- +and one in 8-bit format, which includes higher order characters-- +which requires a binary transfer, or sent as email attachment and +may require more specialized programs to display the accents. + +This is the 7-bit version. + + +Copyright laws are changing all over the world, be sure to check +the copyright laws for your country before posting these files!! + +Please take a look at the important information in this header. +We encourage you to keep this file on your own disk, keeping an +electronic path open for the next readers. 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TITMARSH + +by + +WILLIAM MAKEPEACE THACKERAY + + + + +CONTENTS. + + +THE PARIS SKETCH BOOK. + + +An Invasion of France + +A Caution to Travellers + +The Fetes of July + +On the French School of Painting + +The Painter's Bargain + +Cartouche + +On some French Fashionable Novels + +A Gambler's Death + +Napoleon and his System + +The Story of Mary Ancel + +Beatrice Merger + +Caricatures and Lithography in Paris + +Little Poinsinet + +The Devil's Wager + +Madame Sand and the new Apocalypse + +The Case of Peytel + +Four Imitations of Beranger + +French Dramas and Melodramas + +Meditations at Versailles + + + + +DEDICATORY LETTER + +TO + +M. ARETZ, TAILOR, ETC. + +27, RUE RICHELIEU, PARIS. + + +SIR,--It becomes every man in his station to acknowledge and praise +virtue wheresoever he may find it, and to point it out for the +admiration and example of his fellow-men. + +Some months since, when you presented to the writer of these pages +a small account for coats and pantaloons manufactured by you, and +when you were met by a statement from your creditor, that an +immediate settlement of your bill would be extremely inconvenient +to him; your reply was, "Mon Dieu, Sir, let not that annoy you; if +you want money, as a gentleman often does in a strange country, I +have a thousand-franc note at my house which is quite at your +service." + +History or experience, Sir, makes us acquainted with so few actions +that can be compared to yours,--an offer like this from a stranger +and a tailor seems to me so astonishing,--that you must pardon me +for thus making your virtue public, and acquainting the English +nation with your merit and your name. Let me add, Sir, that you +live on the first floor; that your clothes and fit are excellent, +and your charges moderate and just; and, as a humble tribute of my +admiration, permit me to lay these volumes at your feet. + +Your obliged, faithful servant, + +M. A. TITMARSH. + + + + +ADVERTISEMENT TO THE FIRST EDITION. + + +About half of the sketches in these volumes have already appeared +in print, in various periodical works. A part of the text of one +tale, and the plots of two others, have been borrowed from French +originals; the other stories, which are, in the main, true, have +been written upon facts and characters that came within the +Author's observation during a residence in Paris. + +As the remaining papers relate to public events which occurred +during the same period, or to Parisian Art and Literature, he has +ventured to give his publication the title which it bears. + +LONDON, July 1, 1840. + + + + +AN INVASION OF FRANCE. + + +Caesar venit in Galliam summa diligentia." + + +About twelve o'clock, just as the bell of the packet is tolling a +farewell to London Bridge, and warning off the blackguard-boys with +the newspapers, who have been shoving Times, Herald, Penny Paul- +Pry, Penny Satirist, Flare-up, and other abominations, into your +face--just as the bell has tolled, and the Jews, strangers, people- +taking-leave-of-their-families, and blackguard-boys aforesaid, are +making a rush for the narrow plank which conducts from the paddle- +box of the "Emerald" steamboat unto the quay--you perceive, +staggering down Thames Street, those two hackney-coaches, for the +arrival of which you have been praying, trembling, hoping, +despairing, swearing--sw--, I beg your pardon, I believe the word +is not used in polite company--and transpiring, for the last half- +hour. Yes, at last, the two coaches draw near, and from thence an +awful number of trunks, children, carpet-bags, nursery-maids, hat- +boxes, band-boxes, bonnet-boxes, desks, cloaks, and an affectionate +wife, are discharged on the quay. + +"Elizabeth, take care of Miss Jane," screams that worthy woman, who +has been for a fortnight employed in getting this tremendous body +of troops and baggage into marching order. "Hicks! Hicks! for +heaven's sake mind the babies!"--"George--Edward, sir, if you go +near that porter with the trunk, he will tumble down and kill you, +you naughty boy!--My love, DO take the cloaks and umbrellas, and +give a hand to Fanny and Lucy; and I wish you would speak to the +hackney-coachmen, dear, they want fifteen shillings, and count the +packages, love--twenty-seven packages,--and bring little Flo; +where's little Flo?--Flo! Flo!"--(Flo comes sneaking in; she has +been speaking a few parting words to a one-eyed terrier, that +sneaks off similarly, landward.) + +As when the hawk menaces the hen-roost, in like manner, when such a +danger as a voyage menaces a mother, she becomes suddenly endowed +with a ferocious presence of mind, and bristling up and screaming +in the front of her brood, and in the face of circumstances, +succeeds, by her courage, in putting her enemy to flight; in like +manner you will always, I think, find your wife (if that lady be +good for twopence) shrill, eager, and ill-humored, before, and +during a great family move of this nature. Well, the swindling +hackney-coachmen are paid, the mother leading on her regiment of +little ones, and supported by her auxiliary nurse-maids, are safe +in the cabin;--you have counted twenty-six of the twenty-seven +parcels, and have them on board, and that horrid man on the paddle- +box, who, for twenty minutes past, has been roaring out, NOW, SIR!-- +says, NOW, SIR, no more. + +I never yet knew how a steamer began to move, being always too busy +among the trunks and children, for the first half-hour, to mark any +of the movements of the vessel. When these private arrangements +are made, you find yourself opposite Greenwich (farewell, sweet, +sweet whitebait!), and quiet begins to enter your soul. Your wife +smiles for the first time these ten days; you pass by plantations +of ship-masts, and forests of steam-chimneys; the sailors are +singing on board the ships, the bargees salute you with oaths, +grins, and phrases facetious and familiar; the man on the paddle- +box roars, "Ease her, stop her!" which mysterious words a shrill +voice from below repeats, and pipes out, "Ease her, stop her!" in +echo; the deck is crowded with groups of figures, and the sun +shines over all. + +The sun shines over all, and the steward comes up to say, "Lunch, +ladies and gentlemen! Will any lady or gentleman please to take +anythink?" About a dozen do: boiled beef and pickles, and great +red raw Cheshire cheese, tempt the epicure: little dumpy bottles of +stout are produced, and fizz and bang about with a spirit one would +never have looked for in individuals of their size and stature. + +The decks have a strange, look; the people on them, that is. +Wives, elderly stout husbands, nurse-maids, and children +predominate, of course, in English steamboats. Such may be +considered as the distinctive marks of the English gentleman at +three or four and forty: two or three of such groups have pitched +their camps on the deck. Then there are a number of young men, of +whom three or four have allowed their moustaches to BEGIN to grow +since last Friday; for they are going "on the Continent," and they +look, therefore, as if their upper lips were smeared with snuff. + +A danseuse from the opera is on her way to Paris. Followed by her +bonne and her little dog, she paces the deck, stepping out, in the +real dancer fashion, and ogling all around. How happy the two +young Englishmen are, who can speak French, and make up to her: and +how all criticise her points and paces! Yonder is a group of young +ladies, who are going to Paris to learn how to be governesses: +those two splendidly dressed ladies are milliners from the Rue +Richelieu, who have just brought over, and disposed of, their cargo +of Summer fashions. Here sits the Rev. Mr. Snodgrass with his +pupils, whom he is conducting to his establishment, near Boulogne, +where, in addition to a classical and mathematical education +(washing included), the young gentlemen have the benefit of +learning French among THE FRENCH THEMSELVES. Accordingly, the +young gentlemen are locked up in a great rickety house, two miles +from Boulogne and never see a soul, except the French usher and the +cook. + +Some few French people are there already, preparing to be ill--(I +never shall forget a dreadful sight I once had in the little dark, +dirty, six-foot cabin of a Dover steamer. Four gaunt Frenchmen, +but for their pantaloons, in the costume of Adam in Paradise, +solemnly anointing themselves with some charm against sea- +sickness!)--a few Frenchmen are there, but these, for the most +part, and with a proper philosophy, go to the fore-cabin of the +ship, and you see them on the fore-deck (is that the name for that +part of the vessel which is in the region of the bowsprit?) +lowering in huge cloaks and caps; snuffy, wretched, pale, and wet; +and not jabbering now, as their wont is on shore. I never could +fancy the Mounseers formidable at sea. + +There are, of course, many Jews on board. Who ever travelled by +steamboat, coach, diligence, eilwagen, vetturino, mule-back, or +sledge, without meeting some of the wandering race? + +By the time these remarks have been made the steward is on the deck +again, and dinner is ready: and about two hours after dinner comes +tea; and then there is brandy-and-water, which he eagerly presses +as a preventive against what may happen; and about this time you +pass the Foreland, the wind blowing pretty fresh; and the groups +on deck disappear, and your wife, giving you an alarmed look, +descends, with her little ones, to the ladies' cabin, and you see +the steward and his boys issuing from their den under the paddle- +box, with each a heap of round tin vases, like those which are +called, I believe, in America, expectoratoons, only these are +larger. + + . . . . . . + +The wind blows, the water looks greener and more beautiful than +ever--ridge by ridge of long white rock passes away. "That's +Ramsgit," says the man at the helm; and, presently, "That there's +Deal--it's dreadful fallen off since the war;" and "That's Dover, +round that there pint, only you can't see it." And, in the +meantime, the sun has plumped his hot face into the water, and the +moon has shown hers as soon as ever his back is turned, and Mrs.-- +(the wife in general,) has brought up her children and self from +the horrid cabin, in which she says it is impossible to breathe; +and the poor little wretches are, by the officious stewardess and +smart steward (expectoratoonifer), accommodated with a heap of +blankets, pillows, and mattresses, in the midst of which they +crawl, as best they may, and from the heaving heap of which are, +during the rest of the voyage, heard occasional faint cries, and +sounds of puking woe! + +Dear, dear Maria! Is this the woman who, anon, braved the jeers +and brutal wrath of swindling hackney-coachmen; who repelled the +insolence of haggling porters, with a scorn that brought down their +demands at least eighteenpence? Is this the woman at whose voice +servants tremble; at the sound of whose steps the nursery, ay, and +mayhap the parlor, is in order? Look at her now, prostrate, +prostrate--no strength has she to speak, scarce power to push to +her youngest one--her suffering, struggling Rosa,--to push to her +the--the instrumentoon! + +In the midst of all these throes and agonies, at which all the +passengers, who have their own woes (you yourself--for how can you +help THEM?--you are on your back on a bench, and if you move all is +up with you,) are looking on indifferent--one man there is who has +been watching you with the utmost care, and bestowing on your +helpless family the tenderness that a father denies them. He is a +foreigner, and you have been conversing with him, in the course of +the morning, in French--which, he says, you speak remarkably well, +like a native in fact, and then in English (which, after all, you +find is more convenient). What can express your gratitude to this +gentleman for all his goodness towards your family and yourself-- +you talk to him, he has served under the Emperor, and is, for all +that, sensible, modest, and well-informed. He speaks, indeed, of +his countrymen almost with contempt, and readily admits the +superiority of a Briton, on the seas and elsewhere. One loves to +meet with such genuine liberality in a foreigner, and respects +the man who can sacrifice vanity to truth. This distinguished +foreigner has travelled much; he asks whither you are going?--where +you stop? if you have a great quantity of luggage on board?--and +laughs when he hears of the twenty-seven packages, and hopes you +have some friend at the custom-house, who can spare you the +monstrous trouble of unpacking that which has taken you weeks to +put up. Nine, ten, eleven, the distinguished foreigner is ever +at your side; you find him now, perhaps, (with characteristic +ingratitude,) something of a bore, but, at least, he has been most +tender to the children and their mamma. At last a Boulogne light +comes in sight, (you see it over the bows of the vessel, when, +having bobbed violently upwards, it sinks swiftly down,) Boulogne +harbor is in sight, and the foreigner says,-- + +The distinguished foreigner says, says he--"Sare, eef you af no +'otel, I sall recommend you, milor, to ze 'Otel Betfort, in ze +Quay, sare, close to the bathing-machines and custom-ha-oose. Good +bets and fine garten, sare; table-d'hote, sare, a cinq heures; +breakfast, sare, in French or English style;--I am the +commissionaire, sare, and vill see to your loggish." + +. . . Curse the fellow, for an impudent, swindling, sneaking French +humbug!--Your tone instantly changes, and you tell him to go about +his business: but at twelve o'clock at night, when the voyage is +over, and the custom-house business done, knowing not whither to +go, with a wife and fourteen exhausted children, scarce able to +stand, and longing for bed, you find yourself, somehow, in the +Hotel Bedford (and you can't be better), and smiling chambermaids +carry off your children to snug beds; while smart waiters produce +for your honor--a cold fowl, say, and a salad, and a bottle of +Bordeaux and Seltzer-water. + + . . . . . . + +The morning comes--I don't know a pleasanter feeling than that of +waking with the sun shining on objects quite new, and (although you +have made the voyage a dozen times,) quite strange. Mrs. X. and +you occupy a very light bed, which has a tall canopy of red +"percale;" the windows are smartly draped with cheap gaudy calicoes +and muslins; there are little mean strips of carpet about the tiled +floor of the room, and yet all seems as gay and as comfortable as +may be--the sun shines brighter than you have seen it for a year, +the sky is a thousand times bluer, and what a cheery clatter of +shrill quick French voices comes up from the court-yard under the +windows! Bells are jangling; a family, mayhap, is going to Paris, +en poste, and wondrous is the jabber of the courier, the postilion, +the inn-waiters, and the lookers-on. The landlord calls out for +"Quatre biftecks aux pommes pour le trente-trois,"--(O my +countrymen, I love your tastes and your ways!)--the chambermaid is +laughing and says, "Finissez donc, Monsieur Pierre!" (what can they +be about?)--a fat Englishman has opened his window violently, and +says, "Dee dong, garsong, vooly voo me donny lo sho, ou vooly voo +pah?" He has been ringing for half an hour--the last energetic +appeal succeeds, and shortly he is enabled to descend to the +coffee-room, where, with three hot rolls, grilled ham, cold fowl, +and four boiled eggs, he makes what he calls his first FRENCH +breakfast. + +It is a strange, mongrel, merry place, this town of Boulogne; the +little French fishermen's children are beautiful, and the little +French soldiers, four feet high, red-breeched, with huge pompons on +their caps, and brown faces, and clear sharp eyes, look, for all +their littleness, far more military and more intelligent than the +heavy louts one has seen swaggering about the garrison towns in +England. Yonder go a crowd of bare-legged fishermen; there is the +town idiot, mocking a woman who is screaming "Fleuve du Tage," at +an inn-window, to a harp, and there are the little gamins mocking +HIM. Lo! these seven young ladies, with red hair and green veils, +they are from neighboring Albion, and going to bathe. Here comes +three Englishmen, habitues evidently of the place,--dandy specimens +of our countrymen: one wears a marine dress, another has a shooting +dress, a third has a blouse and a pair of guiltless spurs--all have +as much hair on the face as nature or art can supply, and all wear +their hats very much on one side. Believe me, there is on the face +of this world no scamp like an English one, no blackguard like one +of these half-gentlemen, so mean, so low, so vulgar,--so ludicrously +ignorant and conceited, so desperately heartless and depraved. + +But why, my dear sir, get into a passion?--Take things coolly. As +the poet has observed, "Those only is gentlemen who behave as +sich;" with such, then, consort, be they cobblers or dukes. Don't +give us, cries the patriotic reader, any abuse of our fellow- +countrymen (anybody else can do that), but rather continue in that +good-humored, facetious, descriptive style with which your letter +has commenced.--Your remark, sir, is perfectly just, and does honor +to your head and excellent heart. + +There is little need to give a description of the good town of +Boulogne, which, haute and basse, with the new light-house and the +new harbor, and the gas-lamps, and the manufactures, and the +convents, and the number of English and French residents, and the +pillar erected in honor of the grand Armee d'Angleterre, so called +because it DIDN'T go to England, have all been excellently +described by the facetious Coglan, the learned Dr. Millingen, and +by innumerable guide-books besides. A fine thing it is to hear the +stout old Frenchmen of Napoleon's time argue how that audacious +Corsican WOULD have marched to London, after swallowing Nelson and +all his gun-boats, but for cette malheureuse guerre d'Espagne and +cette glorieuse campagne d'Autriche, which the gold of Pitt caused +to be raised at the Emperor's tail, in order to call him off from +the helpless country in his front. Some Frenchmen go farther +still, and vow that in Spain they were never beaten at all; indeed, +if you read in the Biographie des Hommes du Jour, article "Soult," +you will fancy that, with the exception of the disaster at +Vittoria, the campaigns in Spain and Portugal were a series of +triumphs. Only, by looking at a map, it is observable that Vimeiro +is a mortal long way from Toulouse, where, at the end of certain +years of victories, we somehow find the honest Marshal. And what +then?--he went to Toulouse for the purpose of beating the English +there, to be sure;--a known fact, on which comment would be +superfluous. However, we shall never get to Paris at this rate; +let us break off further palaver, and away at once. . . . + +(During this pause, the ingenious reader is kindly requested to pay +his bill at the Hotel at Boulogne, to mount the Diligence of +Laffitte, Caillard and Company, and to travel for twenty-five +hours, amidst much jingling of harness-bells and screaming of +postilions.) + + . . . . . . + +The French milliner, who occupies one of the corners, begins to +remove the greasy pieces of paper which have enveloped her locks +during the journey. She withdraws the "Madras" of dubious hue +which has bound her head for the last five-and-twenty hours, and +replaces it by the black velvet bonnet, which, bobbing against your +nose, has hung from the Diligence roof since your departure from +Boulogne. The old lady in the opposite corner, who has been +sucking bonbons, and smells dreadfully of anisette, arranges her +little parcels in that immense basket of abominations which all old +women carry in their laps. She rubs her mouth and eyes with her +dusty cambric handkerchief, she ties up her nightcap into a little +bundle, and replaces it by a more becoming head-piece, covered with +withered artificial flowers, and crumpled tags of ribbon; she looks +wistfully at the company for an instant, and then places her +handkerchief before her mouth:--her eyes roll strangely about for +an instant, and you hear a faint clattering noise: the old lady has +been getting ready her teeth, which had lain in her basket among +the bonbons, pins, oranges, pomatum, bits of cake, lozenges, +prayer-books, peppermint-water, copper money, and false hair-- +stowed away there during the voyage. The Jewish gentleman, who has +been so attentive to the milliner during the journey, and is a +traveller and bagman by profession, gathers together his various +goods. The sallow-faced English lad, who has been drunk ever since +we left Boulogne yesterday, and is coming to Paris to pursue the +study of medicine, swears that he rejoices to leave the cursed +Diligence, is sick of the infernal journey, and d--d glad that the +d--d voyage is so nearly over. "Enfin!" says your neighbor, +yawning, and inserting an elbow into the mouth of his right and +left hand companion, "nous voila." + +NOUS VOILA!--We are at Paris! This must account for the removal of +the milliner's curl-papers, and the fixing of the old lady's +teeth.--Since the last relais, the Diligence has been travelling +with extraordinary speed. The postilion cracks his terrible whip, +and screams shrilly. The conductor blows incessantly on his horn, +the bells of the harness, the bumping and ringing of the wheels and +chains, and the clatter of the great hoofs of the heavy snorting +Norman stallions, have wondrously increased within this, the last +ten minutes; and the Diligence, which has been proceeding hitherto +at the rate of a league in an hour, now dashes gallantly forward, +as if it would traverse at least six miles in the same space of +time. Thus it is, when Sir Robert maketh a speech at Saint +Stephen's--he useth his strength at the beginning, only, and the +end. He gallopeth at the commencement; in the middle he lingers; +at the close, again, he rouses the House, which has fallen asleep; +he cracketh the whip of his satire; he shouts the shout of his +patriotism; and, urging his eloquence to its roughest canter, +awakens the sleepers, and inspires the weary, until men say, What a +wondrous orator! What a capital coach! We will ride henceforth in +it, and in no other! + +But, behold us at Paris! The Diligence has reached a rude-looking +gate, or grille, flanked by two lodges; the French Kings of old +made their entry by this gate; some of the hottest battles of the +late revolution were fought before it. At present, it is blocked +by carts and peasants, and a busy crowd of men, in green, examining +the packages before they enter, probing the straw with long +needles. It is the Barrier of St. Denis, and the green men are the +customs'-men of the city of Paris. If you are a countryman, who +would introduce a cow into the metropolis, the city demands twenty- +four francs for such a privilege: if you have a hundredweight of +tallow-candles, you must, previously, disburse three francs: if a +drove of hogs, nine francs per whole hog: but upon these subjects +Mr. Bulwer, Mrs. Trollope, and other writers, have already +enlightened the public. In the present instance, after a momentary +pause, one of the men in green mounts by the side of the conductor, +and the ponderous vehicle pursues its journey. + +The street which we enter, that of the Faubourg St. Denis, presents +a strange contrast to the dark uniformity of a London street, where +everything, in the dingy and smoky atmosphere, looks as though it +were painted in India-ink--black houses, black passengers, and +black sky. Here, on the contrary, is a thousand times more life +and color. Before you, shining in the sun, is a long glistening +line of GUTTER,--not a very pleasing object in a city, but in a +picture invaluable. On each side are houses of all dimensions and +hues; some but of one story; some as high as the tower of Babel. +From these the haberdashers (and this is their favorite street) +flaunt long strips of gaudy calicoes, which give a strange air of +rude gayety to the street. Milk-women, with a little crowd of +gossips round each, are, at this early hour of morning, selling the +chief material of the Parisian cafe-au-lait. Gay wine-shops, +painted red, and smartly decorated with vines and gilded railings, +are filled with workmen taking their morning's draught. That +gloomy-looking prison on your right is a prison for women; once it +was a convent for Lazarists: a thousand unfortunate individuals of +the softer sex now occupy that mansion: they bake, as we find in +the guide-books, the bread of all the other prisons; they mend and +wash the shirts and stockings of all the other prisoners; they make +hooks-and-eyes and phosphorus-boxes, and they attend chapel every +Sunday:--if occupation can help them, sure they have enough of it. +Was it not a great stroke of the legislature to superintend the +morals and linen at once, and thus keep these poor creatures +continually mending?--But we have passed the prison long ago, and +are at the Porte St. Denis itself. + +There is only time to take a hasty glance as we pass: it +commemorates some of the wonderful feats of arms of Ludovicus +Magnus, and abounds in ponderous allegories--nymphs, and river- +gods, and pyramids crowned with fleurs-de-lis; Louis passing over +the Rhine in triumph, and the Dutch Lion giving up the ghost, in +the year of our Lord 1672. The Dutch Lion revived, and overcame +the man some years afterwards; but of this fact, singularly enough, +the inscriptions make no mention. Passing, then, round the gate, +and not under it (after the general custom, in respect of triumphal +arches), you cross the boulevard, which gives a glimpse of trees +and sunshine, and gleaming white buildings; then, dashing down the +Rue de Bourbon Villeneuve, a dirty street, which seems interminable, +and the Rue St. Eustache, the conductor gives a last blast on his +horn, and the great vehicle clatters into the court- yard, where the +journey is destined to conclude. + +If there was a noise before of screaming postilions and cracked +horns, it was nothing to the Babel-like clatter which greets us +now. We are in a great court, which Hajji Baba would call the +father of Diligences. Half a dozen other coaches arrive at the +same minute--no light affairs, like your English vehicles, but +ponderous machines, containing fifteen passengers inside, more in +the cabriolet, and vast towers of luggage on the roof: others are +loading: the yard is filled with passengers coming or departing;-- +bustling porters and screaming commissionaires. These latter seize +you as you descend from your place,--twenty cards are thrust into +your hand, and as many voices, jabbering with inconceivable +swiftness, shriek into your ear, "Dis way, sare; are you for ze' +'Otel of Rhin?' 'Hotel de l'Amiraute!'--'Hotel Bristol,' sare!-- +Monsieur, 'l'Hotel de Lille?' Sacr-rrre 'nom de Dieu, laissez +passer ce petit, monsieur! Ow mosh loggish ave you, sare?" + +And now, if you are a stranger in Paris, listen to the words of +Titmarsh.--If you cannot speak a syllable of French, and love +English comfort, clean rooms, breakfasts, and waiters; if you would +have plentiful dinners, and are not particular (as how should you +be?) concerning wine; if, in this foreign country, you WILL have +your English companions, your porter, your friend, and your brandy- +and-water--do not listen to any of these commissioner fellows, but +with your best English accent, shout out boldly, "MEURICE!" and +straightway a man will step forward to conduct you to the Rue de +Rivoli. + +Here you will find apartments at any price: a very neat room, for +instance, for three francs daily; an English breakfast of eternal +boiled eggs, or grilled ham; a nondescript dinner, profuse but +cold; and a society which will rejoice your heart. Here are young +gentlemen from the universities; young merchants on a lark; large +families of nine daughters, with fat father and mother; officers of +dragoons, and lawyers' clerks. The last time we dined at +"Meurice's" we hobbed and nobbed with no less a person than Mr. +Moses, the celebrated bailiff of Chancery Lane; Lord Brougham was +on his right, and a clergyman's lady, with a train of white-haired +girls, sat on his left, wonderfully taken with the diamond rings of +the fascinating stranger! + +It is, as you will perceive, an admirable way to see Paris, +especially if you spend your days reading the English papers at +Galignani's, as many of our foreign tourists do. + +But all this is promiscuous, and not to the purpose. If,--to +continue on the subject of hotel choosing,--if you love quiet, +heavy bills, and the best table-d'hote in the city, go, O stranger! +to the "Hotel des Princes;" it is close to the Boulevard, and +convenient for Frascati's. The "Hotel Mirabeau" possesses scarcely +less attraction; but of this you will find, in Mr. Bulwer's +"Autobiography of Pelham," a faithful and complete account. +"Lawson's Hotel" has likewise its merits, as also the "Hotel de +Lille," which may be described as a "second chop" Meurice. + +If you are a poor student come to study the humanities, or the +pleasant art of amputation, cross the water forthwith, and proceed +to the "Hotel Corneille," near the Odeon, or others of its species; +there are many where you can live royally (until you economize by +going into lodgings) on four francs a day; and where, if by any +strange chance you are desirous for a while to get rid of your +countrymen, you will find that they scarcely ever penetrate. + +But above all, O my countrymen! shun boarding-houses, especially if +you have ladies in your train; or ponder well, and examine the +characters of the keepers thereof, before you lead your innocent +daughters, and their mamma, into places so dangerous. In the first +place, you have bad dinners; and, secondly, bad company. If you +play cards, you are very likely playing with a swindler; if you +dance, you dance with a ---- person with whom you had better have +nothing to do. + + +Note (which ladies are requested not to read).--In one of these +establishments, daily advertised as most eligible for English, a +friend of the writer lived. A lady, who had passed for some time +as the wife of one of the inmates, suddenly changed her husband and +name, her original husband remaining in the house, and saluting her +by her new title. + + + + +A CAUTION TO TRAVELLERS. + + +A million dangers and snares await the traveller, as soon as he +issues out of that vast messagerie which we have just quitted: and +as each man cannot do better than relate such events as have +happened in the course of his own experience, and may keep the +unwary from the path of danger, let us take this, the very earliest +opportunity, of imparting to the public a little of the wisdom +which we painfully have acquired. + +And first, then, with regard to the city of Paris, it is to be +remarked, that in that metropolis flourish a greater number of +native and exotic swindlers than are to be found in any other +European nursery. What young Englishman that visits it, but has +not determined, in his heart, to have a little share of the +gayeties that go on--just for once, just to see what they are like? +How many, when the horrible gambling dens were open, did resist a +sight of them?--nay, was not a young fellow rather flattered by a +dinner invitation from the Salon, whither he went, fondly +pretending that he should see "French society," in the persons of +certain Dukes and Counts who used to frequent the place? + +My friend Pogson is a young fellow, not much worse, although +perhaps a little weaker and simpler than his neighbors; and coming +to Paris with exactly the same notions that bring many others of +the British youth to that capital, events befell him there, last +winter, which are strictly true, and shall here be narrated, by way +of warning to all. + +Pog, it must be premised, is a city man, who travels in drugs for a +couple of the best London houses, blows the flute, has an album, +drives his own gig, and is considered, both on the road and in the +metropolis, a remarkably nice, intelligent, thriving young man. +Pogson's only fault is too great an attachment to the fair:--"the +sex," as he says often "will be his ruin:" the fact is, that Pog +never travels without a "Don Juan" under his driving-cushion, and +is a pretty-looking young fellow enough. + +Sam Pogson had occasion to visit Paris, last October; and it was in +that city that his love of the sex had liked to have cost him dear. +He worked his way down to Dover; placing, right and left, at the +towns on his route, rhubarb, sodas, and other such delectable wares +as his masters dealt in ("the sweetest sample of castor oil, smelt +like a nosegay--went off like wildfire--hogshead and a half at +Rochester, eight-and twenty gallons at Canterbury," and so on), and +crossed to Calais, and thence voyaged to Paris in the coupe of the +Diligence. He paid for two places, too, although a single man, and +the reason shall now be made known. + +Dining at the table-d'hote at "Quillacq's"--it is the best inn on +the Continent of Europe--our little traveller had the happiness to +be placed next to a lady, who was, he saw at a glance, one of the +extreme pink of the nobility. A large lady, in black satin, with +eyes and hair as black as sloes, with gold chains, scent-bottles, +sable tippet, worked pocket-handkerchief, and four twinkling rings +on each of her plump white fingers. Her cheeks were as pink as the +finest Chinese rouge could make them. Pog knew the article: he +travelled in it. Her lips were as red as the ruby lip salve: she +used the very best, that was clear. + +She was a fine-looking woman, certainly (holding down her eyes, and +talking perpetually of "mes trente-deux ans"); and Pogson, the +wicked young dog, who professed not to care for young misses, +saying they smelt so of bread-and-butter, declared, at once, that +the lady was one of HIS beauties; in fact, when he spoke to us +about her, he said, "She's a slap-up thing, I tell you; a reg'lar +good one; ONE OF MY SORT!" And such was Pogson's credit in all +commercial rooms, that one of HIS sort was considered to surpass +all other sorts. + +During dinner-time, Mr. Pogson was profoundly polite and attentive +to the lady at his side, and kindly communicated to her, as is the +way with the best-bred English on their first arrival "on the +Continent," all his impressions regarding the sights and persons he +had seen. Such remarks having been made during half an hour's +ramble about the ramparts and town, and in the course of a walk +down to the custom-house, and a confidential communication with the +commissionaire, must be, doubtless, very valuable to Frenchmen in +their own country; and the lady listened to Pogson's opinions: not +only with benevolent attention, but actually, she said, with +pleasure and delight. Mr. Pogson said that there was no such thing +as good meat in France, and that's why they cooked their victuals +in this queer way; he had seen many soldiers parading about the +place, and expressed a true Englishman's abhorrence of an armed +force; not that he feared such fellows as these--little whipper- +snappers--our men would eat them. Hereupon the lady admitted that +our Guards were angels, but that Monsieur must not be too hard upon +the French; "her father was a General of the Emperor." + +Pogson felt a tremendous respect for himself at the notion that he +was dining with a General's daughter, and instantly ordered a +bottle of champagne to keep up his consequence. + +"Mrs. Bironn, ma'am," said he, for he had heard the waiter call her +by some such name, "if you WILL accept a glass of champagne, ma'am, +you'll do me, I'm sure, great honor: they say it's very good, and a +precious sight cheaper than it is on our side of the way, too--not +that I care for money. Mrs. Bironn, ma'am, your health, ma'am." + +The lady smiled very graciously, and drank the wine. + +"Har you any relation, ma'am, if I may make so bold; har you +anyways connected with the family of our immortal bard?" + +"Sir, I beg your pardon." + +"Don't mention it, ma'am: but BiRONN and BYron are hevidently the +same names, only you pronounce in the French way; and I thought you +might be related to his lordship: his horigin, ma'am, was of French +extraction:" and here Pogson began to repeat,-- + + + "Hare thy heyes like thy mother's, my fair child, + Hada! sole daughter of my 'ouse and 'art?" + + +"Oh!" said the lady, laughing, "you speak of LOR Byron? + +"Hauthor of 'Don Juan,' 'Child 'Arold,' and 'Cain, a Mystery,'" +said Pogson:--"I do; and hearing the waiter calling you Madam la +Bironn, took the liberty of hasking whether you were connected with +his lordship; that's hall:" and my friend here grew dreadfully red, +and began twiddling his long ringlets in his fingers, and examining +very eagerly the contents of his plate. + +"Oh, no: Madame la Baronne means Mistress Baroness; my husband was +Baron, and I am Baroness." + +"What! 'ave I the honor--I beg your pardon, ma'am--is your ladyship +a Baroness, and I not know it? pray excuse me for calling you +ma'am." + +The Baroness smiled most graciously--with such a look as Juno cast +upon unfortunate Jupiter when she wished to gain her wicked ends +upon him--the Baroness smiled; and, stealing her hand into a black +velvet bag, drew from it an ivory card-case, and from the ivory +card-case extracted a glazed card, printed in gold; on it was +engraved a coronet, and under the coronet the words + + + BARONNE DE FLORVAL-DELVAL, + + NEE DE MELVAL-NORVAL. + + Rue Taitbout. + + +The grand Pitt diamond--the Queen's own star of the garter--a +sample of otto-of-roses at a guinea a drop, would not be handled +more curiously, or more respectfully, than this porcelain card of +the Baroness. Trembling he put it into his little Russia-leather +pocket-book: and when he ventured to look up, and saw the eyes of +the Baroness de Florval-Delval, nee de Melval-Norval, gazing upon +him with friendly and serene glances, a thrill of pride tingled +through Pogson's blood: he felt himself to be the very happiest +fellow "on the Continent." + +But Pogson did not, for some time, venture to resume that sprightly +and elegant familiarity which generally forms the great charm of +his conversation: he was too much frightened at the presence he +was in, and contented himself by graceful and solemn bows, deep +attention, and ejaculations of "Yes, my lady," and "No, your +ladyship," for some minutes after the discovery had been made. +Pogson piqued himself on his breeding: "I hate the aristocracy," +he said, "but that's no reason why I shouldn't behave like a +gentleman." + +A surly, silent little gentleman, who had been the third at the +ordinary, and would take no part either in the conversation or in +Pogson's champagne, now took up his hat, and, grunting, left the +room, when the happy bagman had the delight of a tete-a-tete. The +Baroness did not appear inclined to move: it was cold; a fire was +comfortable, and she had ordered none in her apartment. Might +Pogson give her one more glass of champagne, or would her ladyship +prefer "something hot." Her ladyship gravely said, she never took +ANYTHING hot. "Some champagne, then; a leetle drop?" She would! +she would! O gods! how Pogson's hand shook as he filled and +offered her the glass! + +What took place during the rest of the evening had better be +described by Mr. Pogson himself, who has given us permission to +publish his letter. + + +"QUILLACQ'S HOTEL (pronounced KILLYAX), CALAIS. + +"DEAR TIT,--I arrived at Cally, as they call it, this day, or, +rather, yesterday; for it is past midnight, as I sit thinking of a +wonderful adventure that has just befallen me. A woman in course; +that's always the case with ME, you know: but oh, Tit! if you COULD +but see her! Of the first family in France, the Florval-Delvals, +beautiful as an angel, and no more caring for money than I do for +split peas. + +"I'll tell you how it occurred. Everybody in France, you know, +dines at the ordinary--it's quite distangy to do so. There was +only three of us to-day, however,--the Baroness, me, and a gent, +who never spoke a word; and we didn't want him to, neither: do you +mark that? + +"You know my way with the women: champagne's the thing; make 'em +drink, make 'em talk;--make 'em talk, make 'em do anything. So I +orders a bottle, as if for myself; and, 'Ma'am,' says I, 'will you +take a glass of Sham--just one?' Take it she did--for you know +it's quite distangy here: everybody dines at the table de hote, and +everybody accepts everybody's wine. Bob Irons, who travels in +linen on our circuit, told me that he had made some slap-up +acquaintances among the genteelest people at Paris, nothing but by +offering them Sham. + +"Well, my Baroness takes one glass, two glasses, three glasses--the +old fellow goes--we have a deal of chat (she took me for a military +man, she said: is it not singular that so many people should?), and +by ten o'clock we had grown so intimate, that I had from her her +whole history, knew where she came from, and where she was going. +Leave me alone with 'em: I can find out any woman's history in half +an hour. + +"And where do you think she IS going? to Paris to be sure: she has +her seat in what they call the coopy (though you're not near so +cooped in it as in our coaches. I've been to the office and seen +one of 'em). She has her place in the coopy, and the coopy holds +THREE; so what does Sam Pogson do?--he goes and takes the other +two. Ain't I up to a thing or two? Oh, no, not the least; but I +shall have her to myself the whole of the way. + +"We shall be in the French metropolis the day after this reaches +you: please look out for a handsome lodging for me, and never mind +the expense. And I say, if you could, in her hearing, when you +came down to the coach, call me Captain Pogson, I wish you would-- +it sounds well travelling, you know; and when she asked me if I was +not an officer, I couldn't say no. Adieu, then, my dear fellow, +till Monday, and vive le joy, as they say. The Baroness says I +speak French charmingly, she talks English as well as you or I. + +"Your affectionate friend, + +"S. Pogson." + + +This letter reached us duly, in our garrets, and we engaged such an +apartment for Mr. Pogson, as beseemed a gentleman of his rank in +the world and the army. At the appointed hour, too, we repaired to +the Diligence office, and there beheld the arrival of the machine +which contained him and his lovely Baroness. + +Those who have much frequented the society of gentlemen of his +profession (and what more delightful?) must be aware, that, when +all the rest of mankind look hideous, dirty, peevish, wretched, +after a forty hours' coach-journey, a bagman appears as gay and +spruce as when he started; having within himself a thousand little +conveniences for the voyage, which common travellers neglect. +Pogson had a little portable toilet, of which he had not failed to +take advantage, and with his long, curling, flaxen hair, flowing +under a seal-skin cap, with a gold tassel, with a blue and gold +satin handkerchief, a crimson velvet waistcoat, a light green cut- +away coat, a pair of barred brickdust-colored pantaloons, and a +neat mackintosh, presented, altogether, as elegant and distingue an +appearance as any one could desire. He had put on a clean collar +at breakfast, and a pair of white kids as he entered the barrier, +and looked, as he rushed into my arms, more like a man stepping out +of a band-box, than one descending from a vehicle that has just +performed one of the laziest, dullest, flattest, stalest, dirtiest +journeys in Europe. + +To my surprise, there were TWO ladies in the coach with my friend, +and not ONE, as I had expected. One of these, a stout female, +carrying sundry baskets, bags, umbrellas, and woman's wraps, was +evidently a maid-servant: the other, in black, was Pogson's fair +one, evidently. I could see a gleam of curl-papers over a sallow +face,--of a dusky nightcap flapping over the curl-papers,--but +these were hidden by a lace veil and a huge velvet bonnet, of which +the crowning birds-of-paradise were evidently in a moulting state. +She was encased in many shawls and wrappers; she put, hesitatingly, +a pretty little foot out of the carriage--Pogson was by her side in +an instant, and, gallantly putting one of his white kids round her +waist, aided this interesting creature to descend. I saw, by her +walk, that she was five-and-forty, and that my little Pogson was a +lost man. + +After some brief parley between them--in which it was charming to +hear how my friend Samuel WOULD speak, what he called French, to a +lady who could not understand one syllable of his jargon--the +mutual hackney-coaches drew up; Madame la Baronne waved to the +Captain a graceful French curtsy. "Adyou!" said Samuel, and waved +his lily hand. "Adyou-addimang." + +A brisk little gentleman, who had made the journey in the same +coach with Pogson, but had more modestly taken a seat in the +Imperial, here passed us, and greeted me with a "How d'ye do?" He +had shouldered his own little valise, and was trudging off, +scattering a cloud of commissionaires, who would fain have spared +him the trouble. + +"Do you know that chap?" says Pogson; "surly fellow, ain't he?" + +"The kindest man in existence," answered I; "all the world knows +little Major British." + +"He's a Major, is he?--why, that's the fellow that dined with us at +Killyax's; it's lucky I did not call myself Captain before him, he +mightn't have liked it, you know:" and then Sam fell into a +reverie;--what was the subject of his thoughts soon appeared. + +"Did you ever SEE such a foot and ankle?" said Sam, after sitting +for some time, regardless of the novelty of the scene, his hands in +his pockets, plunged in the deepest thought. + +"ISN'T she a slap-up woman, eh, now?" pursued he; and began +enumerating her attractions, as a horse-jockey would the points of +a favorite animal. + +"You seem to have gone a pretty length already," said I, "by +promising to visit her to-morrow." + +"A good length?--I believe you. Leave ME alone for that." + +"But I thought you were only to be two in the coupe, you wicked +rogue." + +"Two in the coopy? Oh! ah! yes, you know--why, that is, I didn't +know she had her maid with her (what an ass I was to think of a +noblewoman travelling without one!) and couldn't, in course, +refuse, when she asked me to let the maid in." + +"Of course not." + +"Couldn't, you know, as a man of honor; but I made up for all +that," said Pogson, winking slyly, and putting his hand to his +little bunch of a nose, in a very knowing way. + +"You did, and how?" + +"Why, you dog, I sat next to her; sat in the middle the whole way, +and my back's half broke, I can tell you:" and thus, having +depicted his happiness, we soon reached the inn where this back- +broken young man was to lodge during his stay in Paris. + +The next day at five we met; Mr. Pogson had seen his Baroness, and +described her lodgings, in his own expressive way, as "slap-up." +She had received him quite like an old friend; treated him to eau +sucree, of which beverage he expressed himself a great admirer; and +actually asked him to dine the next day. But there was a cloud +over the ingenuous youth's brow, and I inquired still farther. + +"Why," said he, with a sigh, "I thought she was a widow; and, hang +it! who should come in but her husband the Baron: a big fellow, +sir, with a blue coat, a red ribbing, and SUCH a pair of mustachios!" + +"Well," said I, "he didn't turn you out, I suppose?" + +"Oh, no! on the contrary, as kind as possible; his lordship said +that he respected the English army; asked me what corps I was in,-- +said he had fought in Spain against us,--and made me welcome." + +"What could you want more?" + +Mr. Pogson at this only whistled; and if some very profound +observer of human nature had been there to read into this little +bagman's heart, it would, perhaps, have been manifest, that the +appearance of a whiskered soldier of a husband had counteracted +some plans that the young scoundrel was concocting. + +I live up a hundred and thirty-seven steps in the remote quarter +of the Luxembourg, and it is not to be expected that such a +fashionable fellow as Sam Pogson, with his pockets full of money, +and a new city to see, should be always wandering to my dull +quarters; so that, although he did not make his appearance for some +time, he must not be accused of any luke-warmness of friendship on +that score. + +He was out, too, when I called at his hotel; but once, I had the +good fortune to see him, with his hat curiously on one side, +looking as pleased as Punch, and being driven, in an open cab, in +the Champs Elysees. "That's ANOTHER tip-top chap," said he, when +we met, at length. "What do you think of an Earl's son, my boy? +Honorable Tom Ringwood, son of the Earl of Cinqbars: what do you +think of that, eh?" + +I thought he was getting into very good society. Sam was a dashing +fellow, and was always above his own line of life; he had met Mr. +Ringwood at the Baron's, and they'd been to the play together; and +the honorable gent, as Sam called him, had joked with him about +being well to do IN A CERTAIN QUARTER; and he had had a game of +billiards with the Baron, at the Estaminy, "a very distangy place, +where you smoke," said Sam; "quite select, and frequented by the +tip-top nobility;" and they were as thick as peas in a shell; and +they were to dine that day at Ringwood's, and sup, the next night, +with the Baroness. + +"I think the chaps down the road will stare," said Sam, "when they +hear how I've been coming it." And stare, no doubt, they would; +for it is certain that very few commercial gentlemen have had Mr. +Pogson's advantages. + +The next morning we had made an arrangement to go out shopping +together, and to purchase some articles of female gear, that Sam +intended to bestow on his relations when he returned. Seven +needle-books, for his sisters; a gilt buckle, for his mamma; a +handsome French cashmere shawl and bonnet, for his aunt (the old +lady keeps an inn in the Borough, and has plenty of money, and no +heirs); and a toothpick case, for his father. Sam is a good fellow +to all his relations, and as for his aunt, he adores her. Well, we +were to go and make these purchases, and I arrived punctually at my +time; but Sam was stretched on a sofa, very pale and dismal. + +I saw how it had been.--"A little too much of Mr. Ringwood's +claret, I suppose?" + +He only gave a sickly stare. + +"Where does the Honorable Tom live?" says I. + +"HONORABLE!" says Sam, with a hollow, horrid laugh; "I tell you, +Tit, he's no more Honorable than you are." + +"What, an impostor?" + +"No, no; not that. He is a real Honorable, only--" + +"Oh, ho! I smell a rat--a little jealous, eh?" + +"Jealousy be hanged! I tell you he's a thief; and the Baron's a +thief; and, hang me, if I think his wife is any better. Eight-and- +thirty pounds he won of me before supper; and made me drunk, and +sent me home:--is THAT honorable? How can I afford to lose forty +pounds? It's took me two years to save it up--if my old aunt gets +wind of it, she'll cut me off with a shilling: hang me!"--and here +Sam, in an agony, tore his fair hair. + +While bewailing his lot in this lamentable strain, his bell was +rung, which signal being answered by a surly "Come in," a tall, +very fashionable gentleman, with a fur coat, and a fierce tuft to +his chin, entered the room. "Pogson my buck, how goes it?" said +he, familiarly, and gave a stare at me: I was making for my hat. + +"Don't go," said Sam, rather eagerly; and I sat down again. + +The Honorable Mr. Ringwood hummed and ha'd: and, at last, said he +wished to speak to Mr. Pogson on business, in private, if possible. + +"There's no secrets betwixt me and my friend," cried Sam. + +Mr. Ringwood paused a little:--"An awkward business that of last +night," at length exclaimed he. + +"I believe it WAS an awkward business," said Sam, dryly. + +"I really am very sorry for your losses." + +"Thank you: and so am I, I can tell you," said Sam. + +"You must mind, my good fellow, and not drink; for, when you drink, +you WILL play high: by Gad, you led US in, and not we you." + +"I dare say," answered Sam, with something of peevishness; "losses +is losses: there's no use talking about 'em when they're over and +paid." + +"And paid?" here wonderingly spoke Mr. Ringwood; "why, my dear fel-- +what the deuce--has Florval been with you?" + +"D--- Florval!" growled Sam, "I've never set eyes on his face since +last night; and never wish to see him again." + +"Come, come, enough of this talk; how do you intend to settle the +bills which you gave him last night?" + +"Bills I what do you mean?" + +"I mean, sir, these bills," said the Honorable Tom, producing two +out of his pocket-book, and looking as stern as a lion. "'I +promise to pay, on demand, to the Baron de Florval, the sum of four +hundred pounds. October 20, 1838.' 'Ten days after date I promise +to pay the Baron de et caetera et caetera, one hundred and ninety- +eight pounds. Samuel Pogson.' You didn't say what regiment you +were in." + +"WHAT!" shouted poor Sam, as from a dream, starting up and looking +preternaturally pale and hideous. + +"D--- it, sir, you don't affect ignorance: you don't pretend not to +remember that you signed these bills, for money lost in my rooms: +money LENT to you, by Madame de Florval, at your own request, and +lost to her husband? You don't suppose, sir, that I shall be such +an infernal idiot as to believe you, or such a coward as to put up +with a mean subterfuge of this sort. Will you, or will you not, +pay the money, sir?" + +"I will not," said Sam, stoutly; "it's a d----d swin--" + +Here Mr. Ringwood sprung up, clenching his riding-whip, and looking +so fierce that Sam and I bounded back to the other end of the room. +"Utter that word again, and, by heaven, I'll murder you!" shouted +Mr. Ringwood, and looked as if he would, too: "once more, will you, +or will you not, pay this money?" + +"I can't," said Sam faintly. + +"I'll call again, Captain Pogson," said Mr. Ringwood, "I'll call +again in one hour; and, unless you come to some arrangement, you +must meet my friend, the Baron de Florval, or I'll post you for a +swindler and a coward." With this he went out: the door thundered +to after him, and when the clink of his steps departing had +subsided, I was enabled to look round at Pog. The poor little man +had his elbows on the marble table, his head between his hands, and +looked, as one has seen gentlemen look over a steam-vessel off +Ramsgate, the wind blowing remarkably fresh: at last he fairly +burst out crying. + +"If Mrs. Pogson heard of this," said I, "what would become of the +'Three Tuns?'" (for I wished to give him a lesson). "If your Ma, +who took you every Sunday to meeting, should know that her boy was +paying attention to married women;--if Drench, Glauber and Co., +your employers, were to know that their confidential agent was a +gambler, and unfit to be trusted with their money, how long do you +think your connection would last with them, and who would +afterwards employ you?" + +To this poor Pog had not a word of answer; but sat on his sofa +whimpering so bitterly, that the sternest of moralists would have +relented towards him, and would have been touched by the little +wretch's tears. Everything, too, must be pleaded in excuse for +this unfortunate bagman: who, if he wished to pass for a captain, +had only done so because he had an intense respect and longing for +rank: if he had made love to the Baroness, had only done so because +he was given to understand by Lord Byron's "Don Juan" that making +love was a very correct, natty thing: and if he had gambled, had +only been induced to do so by the bright eyes and example of the +Baron and the Baroness. O ye Barons and Baronesses of England! if +ye knew what a number of small commoners are daily occupied in +studying your lives, and imitating your aristocratic ways, how +careful would ye be of your morals, manners, and conversation! + +My soul was filled, then, with a gentle yearning pity for Pogson, +and revolved many plans for his rescue: none of these seeming to +be practicable, at last we hit on the very wisest of all, and +determined to apply for counsel to no less a person than Major +British. + +A blessing it is to be acquainted with my worthy friend, little +Major British; and heaven, sure, it was that put the Major into my +head, when I heard of this awkward scrape of poor Fog's. The Major +is on half-pay, and occupies a modest apartment au quatrieme, in +the very hotel which Pogson had patronized at my suggestion; +indeed, I had chosen it from Major British's own peculiar +recommendation. + +There is no better guide to follow than such a character as the +honest Major, of whom there are many likenesses now scattered over +the Continent of Europe: men who love to live well, and are forced +to live cheaply, and who find the English abroad a thousand times +easier, merrier, and more hospitable than the same persons at home. +I, for my part, never landed on Calais pier without feeling that a +load of sorrows was left on the other side of the water; and have +always fancied that black care stepped on board the steamer, along +with the custom-house officers at Gravesend, and accompanied one to +yonder black louring towers of London--so busy, so dismal, and so +vast. + +British would have cut any foreigner's throat who ventured to say +so much, but entertained, no doubt, private sentiments of this +nature; for he passed eight months of the year, regularly, abroad, +with headquarters at Paris (the garrets before alluded to), and +only went to England for the month's shooting, on the grounds of +his old colonel, now an old lord, of whose acquaintance the Major +was passably inclined to boast. + +He loved and respected, like a good staunch Tory as he is, every +one of the English nobility; gave himself certain little airs of +a man of fashion, that were by no means disagreeable; and was, +indeed, kindly regarded by such English aristocracy as he met, in +his little annual tours among the German courts, in Italy or in +Paris, where he never missed an ambassador's night: he retailed to +us, who didn't go, but were delighted to know all that had taken +place, accurate accounts of the dishes, the dresses, and the +scandal which had there fallen under his observation. + +He is, moreover, one of the most useful persons in society that can +possibly be; for besides being incorrigibly duelsome on his own +account, he is, for others, the most acute and peaceable counsellor +in the world, and has carried more friends through scrapes and +prevented more deaths than any member of the Humane Society. +British never bought a single step in the army, as is well known. +In '14 he killed a celebrated French fire-eater,, who had slain a +young friend of his, and living, as he does, a great deal with +young men of pleasure, and good old sober family people, he is +loved by them both and has as welcome a place made for him at a +roaring bachelor's supper at the "Cafe Anglais," as at a staid +dowager's dinner-table in the Faubourg St. Honore. Such pleasant +old boys are very profitable acquaintances, let me tell you; and +lucky is the young man who has one or two such friends in his list. + +Hurrying on Fogson in his dress, I conducted him, panting, up to +the Major's quatrieme, where we were cheerfully bidden to come in. +The little gentleman was in his travelling jacket, and occupied in +painting, elegantly, one of those natty pairs of boots in which he +daily promenaded the Boulevards. A couple of pairs of tough buff +gloves had been undergoing some pipe-claying operation under his +hands; no man stepped out so spick and span, with a hat so nicely +brushed, with a stiff cravat tied so neatly under a fat little red +face, with a blue frock-coat so scrupulously fitted to a punchy +little person, as Major British, about whom we have written these +two pages. He stared rather hardly at my companion, but gave me a +kind shake of the hand, and we proceeded at once to business. +"Major British," said I, "we want your advice in regard to an +unpleasant affair which has just occurred to my friend Pogson." + +"Pogson, take a chair." + +"You must know, sir, that Mr. Pogson, coming from Calais the other +day, encountered, in the diligence, a very handsome woman." + +British winked at Pogson, who, wretched as he was, could not help +feeling pleased. + +"Mr. Pogson was not more pleased with this lovely creature than was +she with him; for, it appears, she gave him her card, invited him +to her house, where he has been constantly, and has been received +with much kindness." + +"I see," says British. + +"Her husband the Baron--" + +"NOW it's coming," said the Major, with a grin: "her husband is +jealous, I suppose, and there is a talk of the Bois de Boulogne: my +dear sir, you can't refuse--can't refuse." + +"It's not that," said Pogson, wagging his head passionately. + +"Her husband the Baron seemed quite as much taken with Pogson as +his lady was, and has introduced him to some very distingue friends +of his own set. Last night one of the Baron's friends gave a party +in honor of my friend Pogson, who lost forty-eight pounds at cards +BEFORE he was made drunk, and heaven knows how much after." + +"Not a shilling, by sacred heaven!--not a shilling!" yelled out +Pogson. "After the supper I 'ad such an 'eadach', I couldn't do +anything but fall asleep on the sofa." + +"You 'ad such an 'eadach', sir," says British, sternly, who piques +himself on his grammar and pronunciation, and scorns a cockney. + +Such a H-eadache, sir," replied Pogson, with much meekness. + +"The unfortunate man is brought home at two o'clock, as tipsy as +possible, dragged up stairs, senseless, to bed, and, on waking, +receives a visit from his entertainer of the night before--a lord's +son, Major, a tip-top fellow,--who brings a couple of bills that my +friend Pogson is said to have signed." + +"Well, my dear fellow, the thing's quite simple,--he must pay +them." + +"I can't pay them." + +"He can't pay them," said we both in a breath: "Pogson is a +commercial traveller, with thirty shillings a week, and how the +deuce is he to pay five hundred pounds?" + +"A bagman, sir! and what right has a bagman to gamble? Gentlemen +gamble, sir; tradesmen, sir, have no business with the amusements +of the gentry. What business had you with barons and lords' sons, +sir?--serve you right, sir." + +"Sir," says Pogson, with some dignity, "merit, and not birth, is +the criterion of a man: I despise an hereditary aristocracy, and +admire only Nature's gentlemen. For my part, I think that a +British merch--" + +"Hold your tongue, sir," bounced out the Major, "and don't lecture +me; don't come to me, sir, with your slang about Nature's +gentlemen--Nature's tomfools, sir! Did Nature open a cash account +for you at a banker's, sir? Did Nature give you an education, sir? +What do you mean by competing with people to whom Nature has given +all these things? Stick to your bags, Mr. Pogson, and your bagmen, +and leave barons and their like to their own ways." + +"Yes, but, Major," here cried that faithful friend, who has always +stood by Pogson; "they won't leave him alone." + +"The honorable gent says I must fight if I don't pay," whimpered +Sam. + +"What! fight YOU? Do you mean that the honorable gent, as you call +him, will go out with a bagman?" + +"He doesn't know I'm a--I'm a commercial man," blushingly said Sam: +"he fancies I'm a military gent." + +The Major's gravity was quite upset at this absurd notion; and he +laughed outrageously. "Why, the fact is, sir," said I, "that my +friend Pogson, knowing the value of the title of Captain, and being +complimented by the Baroness on his warlike appearance, said, +boldly, he was in the army. He only assumed the rank in order to +dazzle her weak imagination, never fancying that there was a +husband, and a circle of friends, with whom he was afterwards to +make an acquaintance; and then, you know, it was too late to +withdraw." + +"A pretty pickle you have put yourself in, Mr. Pogson, by making +love to other men's wives, and calling yourself names," said the +Major, who was restored to good humor. "And pray, who is the +honorable gent?" + +"The Earl of Cinqbars' son," says Pogson, "the Honorable Tom +Ringwood." + +"I thought it was some such character; and the Baron is the Baron +de Florval-Delval?" + +"The very same." + +"And his wife a black-haired woman, with a pretty foot and ankle; +calls herself Athenais; and is always talking about her trente-deux +ans? Why, sir, that woman was an actress on the Boulevard, when we +were here in '15. She's no more his wife than I am. Delval's name +is Chicot. The woman is always travelling between London and +Paris: I saw she was hooking you at Calais; she has hooked ten men, +in the course of the last two years, in this very way. She lent +you money, didn't she?" "Yes." "And she leans on your shoulder, +and whispers, 'Play half for me,' and somebody wins it, and the +poor thing is as sorry as you are, and her husband storms and +rages, and insists on double stakes; and she leans over your +shoulder again, and tells every card in your hand to your +adversary, and that's the way it's done, Mr. Pogson." + +"I've been 'AD, I see I 'ave," said Pogson, very humbly. + +"Well, sir," said the Major, "in consideration, not of you, sir-- +for, give me leave to tell you, Mr. Pogson, that you are a pitiful +little scoundrel--in consideration for my Lord Cinqbars, sir, with +whom, I am proud to say, I am intimate," (the Major dearly loved a +lord, and was, by his own showing, acquainted with half the +peerage,) "I will aid you in this affair. Your cursed vanity, sir, +and want of principle, has set you, in the first place, intriguing +with other men's wives; and if you had been shot for your pains, a +bullet would have only served you right, sir. You must go about as +an impostor, sir, in society; and you pay richly for your swindling, +sir, by being swindled yourself: but, as I think your punishment has +been already pretty severe, I shall do my best, out of regard for my +friend, Lord Cinqbars, to prevent the matter going any farther; and +I recommend you to leave Paris without delay. Now let me wish you a +good morning."--Wherewith British made a majestic bow, and began +giving the last touch to his varnished boots. + +We departed: poor Sam perfectly silent and chapfallen; and I +meditating on the wisdom of the half-pay philosopher, and wondering +what means he would employ to rescue Pogson from his fate. + +What these means were I know not; but Mr. Ringwood did NOT make his +appearance at six; and, at eight, a letter arrived for "Mr. Pogson, +commercial traveller," &c. &c. It was blank inside, but contained +his two bills. Mr. Ringwood left town, almost immediately, for +Vienna; nor did the Major explain the circumstances which caused +his departure; but he muttered something about "knew some of his +old tricks," "threatened police, and made him disgorge directly." + +Mr. Ringwood is, as yet, young at his trade; and I have often +thought it was very green of him to give up the bills to the Major, +who, certainly, would never have pressed the matter before the +police, out of respect for his friend, Lord Cinqbars. + + + + +THE FETES OF JULY. + +IN A LETTER TO THE EDITOR OF THE "BUNGAY BEACON." + + +PARIS, July 30th, 1839. + +We have arrived here just in time for the fetes of July.--You have +read, no doubt, of that glorious revolution which took place here +nine years ago, and which is now commemorated annually, in a pretty +facetious manner, by gun-firing, student-processions, pole- +climbing-for-silver-spoons, gold-watches and legs-of-mutton, +monarchical orations, and what not, and sanctioned, moreover, by +Chamber-of-Deputies, with a grant of a couple of hundred thousand +francs to defray the expenses of all the crackers, gun-firings, and +legs-of-mutton aforesaid. There is a new fountain in the Place +Louis Quinze, otherwise called the Place Louis Seize, or else the +Place de la Revolution, or else the Place de la Concorde (who can +say why?)--which, I am told, is to run bad wine during certain +hours to-morrow, and there WOULD have been a review of the National +Guards and the Line--only, since the Fieschi business, reviews are +no joke, and so this latter part of the festivity has been +discontinued. + +Do you not laugh, O Pharos of Bungay, at the continuance of a +humbug such as this?--at the humbugging anniversary of a humbug? +The King of the Barricades is, next to the Emperor Nicholas, the +most absolute Sovereign in Europe; yet there is not in the whole of +this fair kingdom of France a single man who cares sixpence about +him, or his dynasty: except, mayhap, a few hangers-on at the +Chateau, who eat his dinners, and put their hands in his purse. +The feeling of loyalty is as dead as old Charles the Tenth; the +Chambers have been laughed at, the country has been laughed at, all +the successive ministries have been laughed at (and you know who is +the wag that has amused himself with them all); and, behold, here +come three days at the end of July, and cannons think it necessary +to fire off, squibs and crackers to blaze and fizz, fountains to +run wine, kings to make speeches, and subjects to crawl up greasy +mats-de-cocagne in token of gratitude and rejouissance publique!-- +My dear sir, in their aptitude to swallow, to utter, to enact +humbugs, these French people, from Majesty downwards, beat all the +other nations of this earth. In looking at these men, their +manners, dresses, opinions, politics, actions, history, it is +impossible to preserve a grave countenance; instead of having +Carlyle to write a History of the French Revolution, I often think +it should be handed over to Dickens or Theodore Hook: and oh! where +is the Rabelais to be the faithful historian of the last phase of +the Revolution--the last glorious nine years of which we are now +commemorating the last glorious three days? + +I had made a vow not to say a syllable on the subject, although I +have seen, with my neighbors, all the gingerbread stalls down the +Champs Elysees, and some of the "catafalques" erected to the memory +of the heroes of July, where the students and others, not connected +personally with the victims, and not having in the least profited +by their deaths, come and weep; but the grief shown on the first +day is quite as absurd and fictitious as the joy exhibited on the +last. The subject is one which admits of much wholesome reflection +and food for mirth; and, besides, is so richly treated by the +French themselves, that it would be a sin and a shame to pass it +over. Allow me to have the honor of translating, for your +edification, an account of the first day's proceedings--it is +mighty amusing, to my thinking. + + +"CELEBRATION OF THE DAYS OF JULY. + +"To-day (Saturday), funeral ceremonies, in honor of the victims of +July, were held in the various edifices consecrated to public +worship. + +"These edifices, with the exception of some churches (especially +that of the Petits-Peres), were uniformly hung with black on the +outside; the hangings bore only this inscription: 27, 28, 29 July, +1830--surrounded by a wreath of oak-leaves. + +"In the interior of the Catholic churches, it had only been thought +proper to dress LITTLE CATAFALQUES, as for burials of the third and +fourth class. Very few clergy attended; but a considerable number +of the National Guard. + +"The Synagogue of the Israelites was entirely hung with black; and +a great concourse of people attended. The service was performed +with the greatest pomp. + +"In the Protestant temples there was likewise a very full +attendance: APOLOGETICAL DISCOURSES on the Revolution of July were +pronounced by the pastors. + +"The absence of M. de Quelen (Archbishop of Paris), and of many +members of the superior clergy, was remarked at Notre Dame. + +"The civil authorities attended service in their several districts. + +"The poles, ornamented with tri-colored flags, which formerly were +placed on Notre Dame, were, it was remarked, suppressed. The flags +on the Pont Neuf were, during the ceremony, only half-mast high, +and covered with crape." + +Et caetera, et caetera, et caetera. + +"The tombs of the Louvre were covered with black hangings, and +adorned with tri-colored flags. In front and in the middle was +erected an expiatory monument of a pyramidical shape, and +surmounted by a funeral vase. + +"These tombs were guarded by the MUNICIPAL GUARD, THE TROOPS OF THE +LINE, THE SERGENS DE VILLE (town patrol), AND A BRIGADE OF AGENTS +OF POLICE IN PLAIN CLOTHES, under the orders of peace-officer +Vassal. + +"Between eleven and twelve o'clock, some young men, to the number +of 400 or 500, assembled on the Place de la Bourse, one of them +bearing a tri-colored banner with an inscription, 'TO THE MANES OF +JULY:' ranging themselves in order, they marched five abreast to +the Marche des Innocens. On their arrival, the Municipal Guards of +the Halle aux Draps, where the post had been doubled, issued out +without arms, and the town-sergeants placed themselves before the +market to prevent the entry of the procession. The young men +passed in perfect order, and without saying a word--only lifting +their hats as they defiled before the tombs. When they arrived at +the Louvre they found the gates shut, and the garden evacuated. +The troops were under arms, and formed in battalion. + +"After the passage of the procession, the Garden was again open to +the public." + +And the evening and the morning were the first day. + +There's nothing serious in mortality: is there, from the beginning +of this account to the end thereof, aught but sheer, open, +monstrous, undisguised humbug? I said, before, that you should +have a history of these people by Dickens or Theodore Hook, but +there is little need of professed wags;--do not the men write their +own tale with an admirable Sancho-like gravity and naivete, which +one could not desire improved? How good is that touch of sly +indignation about the LITTLE CATAFALQUES! how rich the contrast +presented by the economy of the Catholics to the splendid disregard +of expense exhibited by the devout Jews! and how touching the +"APOLOGETICAL DISCOURSES on the Revolution," delivered by the +Protestant pastors! Fancy the profound affliction of the Gardes +Municipaux, the Sergens de Ville, the police agents in plain +clothes, and the troops with fixed bayonets, sobbing round the +"expiatory monuments of a pyramidical shape, surmounted by funeral +vases," and compelled, by sad duty, to fire into the public who +might wish to indulge in the same woe! O "manes of July!" (the +phrase is pretty and grammatical) why did you with sharp bullets +break those Louvre windows? Why did you bayonet red-coated Swiss +behind that fair white facade, and, braving cannon, musket, sabre, +perspective guillotine, burst yonder bronze gates, rush through +that peaceful picture-gallery, and hurl royalty, loyalty, and a +thousand years of Kings, head-over-heels out of yonder Tuileries' +windows? + +It is, you will allow, a little difficult to say:--there is, +however, ONE benefit that the country has gained (as for liberty of +press, or person, diminished taxation, a juster representation, who +ever thinks of them?)--ONE benefit they have gained, or nearly-- +abolition de la peine-de-mort pour delit politique: no more wicked +guillotining for revolutions. A Frenchman must have his revolution-- +it is his nature to knock down omnibuses in the street, and across +them to fire at troops of the line--it is a sin to balk it. Did not +the King send off Revolutionary Prince Napoleon in a coach-and-four? +Did not the jury, before the face of God and Justice, proclaim +Revolutionary Colonel Vaudrey not guilty?--One may hope, soon, that +if a man shows decent courage and energy in half a dozen emeutes, he +will get promotion and a premium. + +I do not (although, perhaps, partial to the subject,) want to talk +more nonsense than the occasion warrants, and will pray you to cast +your eyes over the following anecdote, that is now going the round +of the papers, and respects the commutation of the punishment of +that wretched, fool-hardy Barbes, who, on his trial, seemed to +invite the penalty which has just been remitted to him. You +recollect the braggart's speech: "When the Indian falls into the +power of the enemy, he knows the fate that awaits him, and submits +his head to the knife:--I am the Indian!" + +"Well--" + +"M. Hugo was at the Opera on the night the sentence of the Court of +Peers, condemning Barbes to death, was published. The great poet +composed the following verses:-- + + + 'Par votre ange envolee, ainsi qu'une colombe, + Par le royal enfant, doux et frele roseau, + Grace encore une fois! Grace au nom de la tombe! + Grace au nom du berceau!'* + + +"M. Victor Hugo wrote the lines out instantly on a sheet of paper, +which he folded, and simply despatched them to the King of the +French by the penny-post. + +"That truly is a noble voice, which can at all hours thus speak to +the throne. Poetry, in old days, was called the language of the +Gods--it is better named now--it is the language of the Kings. + +"But the clemency of the King had anticipated the letter of the +Poet. His Majesty had signed the commutation of Barbes, while the +poet was still writing. + +"Louis Philippe replied to the author of 'Ruy Blas' most +graciously, that he had already subscribed to a wish so noble, and +that the verses had only confirmed his previous disposition to +mercy." + + +* Translated for the benefit of country gentlemen:-- + + "By your angel flown away just like a dove, + By the royal infant, that frail and tender reed, + Pardon yet once more! Pardon in the name of the tomb! + Pardon in the name of the cradle!" + + +Now in countries where fools most abound, did one ever read of more +monstrous, palpable folly? In any country, save this, would a poet +who chose to write four crack-brained verses, comparing an angel to +a dove, and a little boy to a reed, and calling upon the chief +magistrate, in the name of the angel, or dove (the Princess Mary), +in her tomb, and the little infant in his cradle, to spare a +criminal, have received a "gracious answer" to his nonsense? Would +he have ever despatched the nonsense? and would any journalist have +been silly enough to talk of "the noble voice that could thus speak +to the throne," and the noble throne that could return such a noble +answer to the noble voice? You get nothing done here gravely and +decently. Tawdry stage tricks are played, and braggadocio +claptraps uttered, on every occasion, however sacred or solemn: in +the face of death, as by Barbes with his hideous Indian metaphor; +in the teeth of reason, as by M. Victor Hugo with his twopenny-post +poetry; and of justice, as by the King's absurd reply to this +absurd demand! Suppose the Count of Paris to be twenty times a +reed, and the Princess Mary a host of angels, is that any reason +why the law should not have its course? Justice is the God of our +lower world, our great omnipresent guardian: as such it moves, or +should move on majestic, awful, irresistible, having no passions-- +like a God: but, in the very midst of the path across which it is +to pass, lo! M. Victor Hugo trips forward, smirking, and says, +O divine Justice! I will trouble you to listen to the following +trifling effusion of mine:-- + + + Par votre ange envolee, ainsi qu'une," &c. + + +Awful Justice stops, and, bowing gravely, listens to M. Hugo's +verses, and, with true French politeness, says, "Mon cher Monsieur, +these verses are charming, ravissans, delicieux, and, coming from +such a celebrite litteraire as yourself, shall meet with every +possible attention--in fact, had I required anything to confirm my +own previous opinions, this charming poem would have done so. Bon +jour, mon cher Monsieur Hugo, au revoir!"--and they part:--Justice +taking off his hat and bowing, and the author of "Ruy Blas" quite +convinced that he has been treating with him d'egal en egal. I can +hardly bring my mind to fancy that anything is serious in France-- +it seems to be all rant, tinsel, and stage-play. Sham liberty, +sham monarchy, sham glory, sham justice,--ou diable donc la verite +va-t-elle se nicher? + + . . . . . . + +The last rocket of the fete of July has just mounted, exploded, +made a portentous bang, and emitted a gorgeous show of blue lights, +and then (like many reputations) disappeared totally: the hundredth +gun on the Invalid terrace has uttered its last roar--and a great +comfort it is for eyes and ears that the festival is over. We +shall be able to go about our everyday business again, and not be +hustled by the gendarmes or the crowd. + +The sight which I have just come away from is as brilliant, happy, +and beautiful as can be conceived; and if you want to see French +people to the greatest advantage, you should go to a festival like +this, where their manners, and innocent gayety, show a very +pleasing contrast to the coarse and vulgar hilarity which the same +class would exhibit in our own country--at Epsom racecourse, for +instance, or Greenwich Fair. The greatest noise that I heard +was that of a company of jolly villagers from a place in the +neighborhood of Paris, who, as soon as the fireworks were over, +formed themselves into a line, three or four abreast, and so +marched singing home. As for the fireworks, squibs and crackers +are very hard to describe, and very little was to be seen of them: +to me, the prettiest sight was the vast, orderly, happy crowd, the +number of children, and the extraordinary care and kindness of the +parents towards these little creatures. It does one good to see +honest, heavy epiciers, fathers of families, playing with them in +the Tuileries, or, as to-night, bearing them stoutly on their +shoulders, through many long hours, in order that the little ones +too may have their share of the fun. John Bull, I fear, is more +selfish: he does not take Mrs. Bull to the public-house; but leaves +her, for the most part, to take care of the children at home. + +The fete, then, is over; the pompous black pyramid at the Louvre is +only a skeleton now; all the flags have been miraculously whisked +away during the night, and the fine chandeliers which glittered +down the Champs Elysees for full half a mile, have been consigned +to their dens and darkness. Will they ever be reproduced for other +celebrations of the glorious 29th of July?--I think not; the +Government which vowed that there should be no more persecutions of +the press, was, on that very 29th, seizing a Legitimist paper, for +some real or fancied offence against it: it had seized, and was +seizing daily, numbers of persons merely suspected of being +disaffected (and you may fancy how liberty is understood, when some +of these prisoners, the other day, on coming to trial, were found +guilty and sentenced to ONE day's imprisonment, after THIRTY-SIX +DAYS' DETENTION ON SUSPICION). I think the Government which +follows such a system, cannot be very anxious about any farther +revolutionary fetes, and that the Chamber may reasonably refuse to +vote more money for them. Why should men be so mighty proud of +having, on a certain day, cut a certain number of their fellow- +countrymen's throats? The Guards and the Line employed this time +nine years did no more than those who cannonaded the starving +Lyonnese, or bayoneted the luckless inhabitants of the Rue +Transnounain:--they did but fulfil the soldier's honorable duty:-- +his superiors bid him kill and he killeth:--perhaps, had he gone to +his work with a little more heart, the result would have been +different, and then--would the conquering party have been justified +in annually rejoicing over the conquered? Would we have thought +Charles X. justified in causing fireworks to be blazed, and +concerts to be sung, and speeches to be spouted, in commemoration +of his victory over his slaughtered countrymen?--I wish for my part +they would allow the people to go about their business as on the +other 362 days of the year, and leave the Champs Elysees free for +the omnibuses to run, and the Tuileries' in quiet, so that the +nurse-maids might come as usual, and the newspapers be read for a +halfpenny apiece. + +Shall I trouble you with an account of the speculations of these +latter, and the state of the parties which they represent? The +complication is not a little curious, and may form, perhaps, a +subject of graver disquisition. The July fetes occupy, as you may +imagine, a considerable part of their columns just now, and it is +amusing to follow them one by one; to read Tweedledum's praise, and +Tweedledee's indignation--to read, in the Debats how the King was +received with shouts and loyal vivats--in the Nation, how not a +tongue was wagged in his praise, but, on the instant of his +departure, how the people called for the "Marseillaise" and +applauded THAT.--But best say no more about the fete. The +Legitimists were always indignant at it. The high Philippist party +sneers at and despises it; the Republicans hate it: it seems a joke +against THEM. Why continue it?--If there be anything sacred in the +name and idea of loyalty, why renew this fete? It only shows how a +rightful monarch was hurled from his throne, and a dexterous +usurper stole his precious diadem. If there be anything noble in +the memory of a day, when citizens, unused to war, rose against +practised veterans, and, armed with the strength of their cause, +overthrew them, why speak of it now? or renew the bitter +recollections of the bootless struggle and victory? O Lafayette! +O hero of two worlds! O accomplished Cromwell Grandison! you have +to answer for more than any mortal man who has played a part in +history: two republics and one monarchy does the world owe to you; +and especially grateful should your country be to you. Did you +not, in '90, make clear the path for honest Robespierre, and in +'30, prepare the way for-- + + . . . . . . + +[The Editor of the Bungay Beacon would insert no more of this +letter, which is, therefore, for ever lost to the public.] + + + + +ON THE FRENCH SCHOOL OF PAINTING: + +WITH APPROPRIATE ANECDOTES, ILLUSTRATIONS, AND PHILOSOPHICAL +DISQUISITIONS. + + +IN A LETTER TO MR. MACGILP, OF LONDON. + + +The three collections of pictures at the Louvre, the Luxembourg, +and the Ecole des Beaux Arts, contain a number of specimens of +French art, since its commencement almost, and give the stranger a +pretty fair opportunity to study and appreciate the school. The +French list of painters contains some very good names--no very +great ones, except Poussin (unless the admirers of Claude choose to +rank him among great painters),--and I think the school was never +in so flourishing a condition as it is at the present day. They +say there are three thousand artists in this town alone: of these a +handsome minority paint not merely tolerably, but well understand +their business: draw the figure accurately; sketch with cleverness; +and paint portraits, churches, or restaurateurs' shops, in a decent +manner. + +To account for a superiority over England which, I think, as +regards art, is incontestable--it must be remembered that the +painter's trade, in France, is a very good one; better appreciated, +better understood, and, generally, far better paid than with us. +There are a dozen excellent schools which a lad may enter here, +and, under the eye of a practised master, learn the apprenticeship +of his art at an expense of about ten pounds a year. In England +there is no school except the Academy, unless the student can +afford to pay a very large sum, and place himself under the tuition +of some particular artist. Here, a young man, for his ten pounds, +has all sorts of accessory instruction, models, &c.; and has +further, and for nothing, numberless incitements to study his +profession which are not to be found in England:--the streets are +filled with picture-shops, the people themselves are pictures +walking about; the churches, theatres, eating-houses, concert-rooms +are covered with pictures: Nature itself is inclined more kindly to +him, for the sky is a thousand times more bright and beautiful, and +the sun shines for the greater part of the year. Add to this, +incitements more selfish, but quite as powerful: a French artist is +paid very handsomely; for five hundred a year is much where all are +poor; and has a rank in society rather above his merits than below +them, being caressed by hosts and hostesses in places where titles +are laughed at and a baron is thought of no more account than a +banker's clerk. + +The life of the young artist here is the easiest, merriest, +dirtiest existence possible. He comes to Paris, probably at +sixteen, from his province; his parents settle forty pounds a year +on him, and pay his master; he establishes himself in the Pays +Latin, or in the new quarter of Notre Dame de Lorette (which is +quite peopled with painters); he arrives at his atelier at a +tolerably early hour, and labors among a score of companions as +merry and poor as himself. Each gentleman has his favorite +tobacco-pipe; and the pictures are painted in the midst of a cloud +of smoke, and a din of puns and choice French slang, and a roar of +choruses, of which no one can form an idea who has not been present +at such an assembly. + +You see here every variety of coiffure that has ever been known. +Some young men of genius have ringlets hanging over their +shoulders--you may smell the tobacco with which they are scented +across the street; some have straight locks, black, oily, and +redundant; some have toupets in the famous Louis-Philippe fashion; +some are cropped close; some have adopted the present mode--which +he who would follow must, in order to do so, part his hair in the +middle, grease it with grease, and gum it with gum, and iron it +flat down over his ears; when arrived at the ears, you take the +tongs and make a couple of ranges of curls close round the whole +head,--such curls as you may see under a gilt three-cornered hat, +and in her Britannic Majesty's coachman's state wig. + +This is the last fashion. As for the beards, there is no end of +them; all my friends the artists have beards who can raise them; +and Nature, though she has rather stinted the bodies and limbs of +the French nation, has been very liberal to them of hair, as you +may see by the following specimen. Fancy these heads and beards +under all sorts of caps--Chinese caps, Mandarin caps, Greek skull- +caps, English jockey-caps, Russian or Kuzzilbash caps, Middle-age +caps (such as are called, in heraldry, caps of maintenance), +Spanish nets, and striped worsted nightcaps. Fancy all the jackets +you have ever seen, and you have before you, as well as pen can +describe, the costumes of these indescribable Frenchmen. + +In this company and costume the French student of art passes his +days and acquires knowledge; how he passes his evenings, at what +theatres, at what guinguettes, in company with what seducing little +milliner, there is no need to say; but I knew one who pawned his +coat to go to a carnival ball, and walked abroad very cheerfully in +his blouse for six weeks, until he could redeem the absent garment. + +These young men (together with the students of sciences) comport +themselves towards the sober citizen pretty much as the German +bursch towards the philister, or as the military man, during the +empire, did to the pekin:--from the height of their poverty they +look down upon him with the greatest imaginable scorn--a scorn, I +think, by which the citizen seems dazzled, for his respect for the +arts is intense. The case is very different in England, where a +grocer's daughter would think she made a misalliance by marrying a +painter, and where a literary man (in spite of all we can say +against it) ranks below that class of gentry composed of the +apothecary, the attorney, the wine-merchant, whose positions, in +country towns at least, are so equivocal. As, for instance, my +friend the Rev. James Asterisk, who has an undeniable pedigree, a +paternal estate, and a living to boot, once dined in Warwickshire, +in company with several squires and parsons of that enlightened +county. Asterisk, as usual, made himself extraordinarily agreeable +at dinner, and delighted all present with his learning and wit. +"Who is that monstrous pleasant fellow?" said one of the squires. +"Don't you know?" replied another. "It's Asterisk, the author of +so-and-so, and a famous contributor to such and such a magazine." +"Good heavens!" said the squire, quite horrified! "a literary man! +I thought he had been a gentleman!" + +Another instance: M. Guizot, when he was Minister here, had the +grand hotel of the Ministry, and gave entertainments to all the +great de par le monde, as Brantome says, and entertained them in a +proper ministerial magnificence. The splendid and beautiful +Duchess of Dash was at one of his ministerial parties; and went, a +fortnight afterwards, as in duty bound, to pay her respects to M. +Guizot. But it happened, in this fortnight, that M. Guizot was +Minister no longer; having given up his portfolio, and his grand +hotel, to retire into private life, and to occupy his humble +apartments in the house which he possesses, and of which he lets +the greater portion. A friend of mine was present at one of the +ex-Minister's soirees, where the Duchess of Dash made her +appearance. He says the Duchess, at her entrance, seemed quite +astounded, and examined the premises with a most curious wonder. +Two or three shabby little rooms, with ordinary furniture, and a +Minister en retraite, who lives by letting lodgings! In our +country was ever such a thing heard of? No, thank heaven! and a +Briton ought to be proud of the difference. + +But to our muttons. This country is surely the paradise of +painters and penny-a-liners; and when one reads of M. Horace Vernet +at Rome, exceeding ambassadors at Rome by his magnificence, and +leading such a life as Rubens or Titian did of old; when one sees +M. Thiers's grand villa in the Rue St. George (a dozen years ago he +was not even a penny-a-liner: no such luck); when one contemplates, +in imagination, M. Gudin, the marine painter, too lame to walk +through the picture-gallery of the Louvre, accommodated, therefore, +with a wheel-chair, a privilege of princes only, and accompanied-- +nay, for what I know, actually trundled--down the gallery by +majesty itself--who does not long to make one of the great nation, +exchange his native tongue for the melodious jabber of France; or, +at least, adopt it for his native country, like Marshal Saxe, +Napoleon, and Anacharsis Clootz? Noble people! they made Tom Paine +a deputy; and as for Tom Macaulay, they would make a DYNASTY of +him. + +Well, this being the case, no wonder there are so many painters in +France; and here, at least, we are back to them. At the Ecole +Royale des Beaux Arts, you see two or three hundred specimens of +their performances; all the prize-men, since 1750, I think, being +bound to leave their prize sketch or picture. Can anything good +come out of the Royal Academy? is a question which has been +considerably mooted in England (in the neighborhood of Suffolk +Street especially). The hundreds of French samples are, I think, +not very satisfactory. The subjects are almost all what are called +classical: Orestes pursued by every variety of Furies; numbers of +little wolf-sucking Romuluses; Hectors and Andromaches in a +complication of parting embraces, and so forth; for it was the +absurd maxim of our forefathers, that because these subjects had +been the fashion twenty centuries ago, they must remain so in +saecula saeculorum; because to these lofty heights giants had scaled, +behold the race of pigmies must get upon stilts and jump at them +likewise! and on the canvas, and in the theatre, the French frogs +(excuse the pleasantry) were instructed to swell out and roar as +much as possible like bulls. + +What was the consequence, my dear friend? In trying to make +themselves into bulls, the frogs make themselves into jackasses, as +might be expected. For a hundred and ten years the classical +humbug oppressed the nation; and you may see, in this gallery of +the Beaux Arts, seventy years' specimens of the dulness which it +engendered. + +Now, as Nature made every man with a nose and eyes of his own, she +gave him a character of his own too; and yet we, O foolish race! +must try our very best to ape some one or two of our neighbors, +whose ideas fit us no more than their breeches! It is the study of +nature, surely, that profits us, and not of these imitations of +her. A man, as a man, from a dustman up to Aeschylus, is God's +work, and good to read, as all works of Nature are: but the silly +animal is never content; is ever trying to fit itself into another +shape; wants to deny its own identity, and has not the courage to +utter its own thoughts. Because Lord Byron was wicked, and +quarrelled with the world; and found himself growing fat, and +quarrelled with his victuals, and thus, naturally, grew ill- +humored, did not half Europe grow ill-humored too? Did not every +poet feel his young affections withered, and despair and darkness +cast upon his soul? Because certain mighty men of old could make +heroical statues and plays, must we not be told that there is no +other beauty but classical beauty?--must not every little whipster +of a French poet chalk you out plays, "Henriades," and such-like, +and vow that here was the real thing, the undeniable Kalon? + +The undeniable fiddlestick! For a hundred years, my dear sir, the +world was humbugged by the so-called classical artists, as they now +are by what is called the Christian art (of which anon); and it is +curious to look at the pictorial traditions as here handed down. +The consequence of them is, that scarce one of the classical +pictures exhibited is worth much more than two-and-sixpence. +Borrowed from statuary, in the first place, the color of the +paintings seems, as much as possible, to participate in it; they +are mostly of a misty, stony green, dismal hue, as if they had been +painted in a world where no color was. In every picture, there +are, of course, white mantles, white urns, white columns, white +statues--those oblige accomplishments of the sublime. There are +the endless straight noses, long eyes, round chins, short upper +lips, just as they are ruled down for you in the drawing-books, as +if the latter were the revelations of beauty, issued by supreme +authority, from which there was no appeal? Why is the classical +reign to endure? Why is yonder simpering Venus de' Medicis to be +our standard of beauty, or the Greek tragedies to bound our notions +of the sublime? There was no reason why Agamemnon should set the +fashions, and remain [Greek text omitted] to eternity: and there +is a classical quotation, which you may have occasionally heard, +beginning Vixere fortes, &c., which, as it avers that there were a +great number of stout fellows before Agamemnon, may not unreasonably +induce us to conclude that similar heroes were to succeed him. +Shakspeare made a better man when his imagination moulded the mighty +figure of Macbeth. And if you will measure Satan by Prometheus, the +blind old Puritan's work by that of the fiery Grecian poet, does not +Milton's angel surpass Aeschylus's--surpass him by "many a rood?" + +In the same school of the Beaux Arts, where are to be found such a +number of pale imitations of the antique, Monsieur Thiers (and he +ought to be thanked for it) has caused to be placed a full-sized +copy of "The Last Judgment" of Michel Angelo, and a number of casts +from statues by the same splendid hand. There IS the sublime, if +you please--a new sublime--an original sublime--quite as sublime as +the Greek sublime. See yonder, in the midst of his angels, the +Judge of the world descending in glory; and near him, beautiful and +gentle, and yet indescribably august and pure, the Virgin by his +side. There is the "Moses," the grandest figure that ever was +carved in stone. It has about it something frightfully majestic, +if one may so speak. In examining this, and the astonishing +picture of "The Judgment," or even a single figure of it, the +spectator's sense amounts almost to pain. I would not like to be +left in a room alone with the "Moses." How did the artist live +amongst them, and create them? How did he suffer the painful labor +of invention? One fancies that he would have been scorched up, +like Semele, by sights too tremendous for his vision to bear. +One cannot imagine him, with our small physical endowments and +weaknesses, a man like ourselves. + +As for the Ecole Royale des Beaux Arts, then, and all the good its +students have done, as students, it is stark naught. When the men +did anything, it was after they had left the academy, and began +thinking for themselves. There is only one picture among the many +hundreds that has, to my idea, much merit (a charming composition +of Homer singing, signed Jourdy); and the only good that the +Academy has done by its pupils was to send them to Rome, where they +might learn better things. At home, the intolerable, stupid +classicalities, taught by men who, belonging to the least erudite +country in Europe, were themselves, from their profession, the +least learned among their countrymen, only weighed the pupils down, +and cramped their hands, their eyes, and their imaginations; drove +them away from natural beauty, which, thank God, is fresh and +attainable by us all, to-day, and yesterday, and to-morrow; and +sent them rambling after artificial grace, without the proper means +of judging or attaining it. + +A word for the building of the Palais des Beaux Arts. It is +beautiful, and as well finished and convenient as beautiful. With +its light and elegant fabric, its pretty fountain, its archway of +the Renaissance, and fragments of sculpture, you can hardly see, on +a fine day, a place more riant and pleasing. + +Passing from thence up the picturesque Rue de Seine, let us walk to +the Luxembourg, where bonnes, students, grisettes, and old +gentlemen with pigtails, love to wander in the melancholy, quaint +old gardens; where the peers have a new and comfortable court of +justice, to judge all the emeutes which are to take place; and +where, as everybody knows, is the picture-gallery of modern French +artists, whom government thinks worthy of patronage. + +A very great proportion of the pictures, as we see by the +catalogue, are by the students whose works we have just been to +visit at the Beaux Arts, and who, having performed their pilgrimage +to Rome, have taken rank among the professors of the art. I don't +know a more pleasing exhibition; for there are not a dozen really +bad pictures in the collection, some very good, and the rest +showing great skill and smartness of execution. + +In the same way, however, that it has been supposed that no man +could be a great poet unless he wrote a very big poem, the +tradition is kept up among the painters, and we have here a vast +number of large canvases, with figures of the proper heroical +length and nakedness. The anticlassicists did not arise in France +until about 1827; and, in consequence, up to that period, we have +here the old classical faith in full vigor. There is Brutus, +having chopped his son's head off, with all the agony of a father, +and then, calling for number two; there is Aeneas carrying off old +Anchises; there are Paris and Venus, as naked as two Hottentots, +and many more such choice subjects from Lempriere. + +But the chief specimens of the sublime are in the way of murders, +with which the catalogue swarms. Here are a few extracts from it:-- + + +7. Beaume, Chevalier de la Legion d'Honneur. "The Grand Dauphiness +Dying. + +18. Blondel, Chevalier de la, &c. "Zenobia found Dead." + +36. Debay, Chevalier. "The Death of Lucretia." + +38. Dejuinne. "The Death of Hector." + +34. Court, Chevalier de la, &c. "The Death of Caesar." + +39, 40, 41. Delacroix, Chevalier. "Dante and Virgil in the + Infernal Lake," "The Massacre of Scio," and "Medea going to + Murder her Children." + +43. Delaroche, Chevalier. "Joas taken from among the Dead." + +44. "The Death of Queen Elizabeth." + +45. "Edward V. and his Brother" (preparing for death). + +50. "Hecuba going to be Sacrificed." Drolling, Chevalier. + +51. Dubois. "Young Clovis found Dead." + +56. Henry, Chevalier. "The Massacre of St. Bartholomew." + +75. Guerin, Chevalier. "Cain, after the Death of Abel." + +83. Jacquand. "Death of Adelaide de Comminges." + +88. "The Death of Eudamidas." + +93. "The Death of Hymetto." + +103. "The Death of Philip of Austria."--And so on. + + +You see what woful subjects they take, and how profusely they are +decorated with knighthood. They are like the Black Brunswickers, +these painters, and ought to be called Chevaliers de la Mort. I +don't know why the merriest people in the world should please +themselves with such grim representations and varieties of murder, +or why murder itself should be considered so eminently sublime and +poetical. It is good at the end of a tragedy; but, then, it is +good because it is the end, and because, by the events foregone, +the mind is prepared for it. But these men will have nothing but +fifth acts; and seem to skip, as unworthy, all the circumstances +leading to them. This, however, is part of the scheme--the +bloated, unnatural, stilted, spouting, sham sublime, that our +teachers have believed and tried to pass off as real, and which +your humble servant and other antihumbuggists should heartily, +according to the strength that is in them, endeavor to pull down. +What, for instance, could Monsieur Lafond care about the death of +Eudamidas? What was Hecuba to Chevalier Drolling, or Chevalier +Drolling to Hecuba? I would lay a wager that neither of them ever +conjugated [Greek text omitted], and that their school learning +carried them not as far as the letter, but only to the game of taw. +How were they to be inspired by such subjects? From having seen +Talma and Mademoiselle Georges flaunting in sham Greek costumes, +and having read up the articles Eudamidas, Hecuba, in the +"Mythological Dictionary." What a classicism, inspired by rouge, +gas-lamps, and a few lines in Lempriere, and copied, half from +ancient statues, and half from a naked guardsman at one shilling +and sixpence the hour! + +Delacroix is a man of a very different genius, and his "Medea" is a +genuine creation of a noble fancy. For most of the others, Mrs. +Brownrigg, and her two female 'prentices, would have done as well +as the desperate Colchian with her [Greek text omitted]. M. +Delacroix has produced a number of rude, barbarous pictures; but +there is the stamp of genius on all of them,--the great poetical +INTENTION, which is worth all your execution. Delaroche is another +man of high merit; with not such a great HEART, perhaps, as the +other, but a fine and careful draughtsman, and an excellent +arranger of his subject. "The Death of Elizabeth" is a raw young +performance seemingly--not, at least, to my taste. The "Enfans +d'Edouard" is renowned over Europe, and has appeared in a hundred +different ways in print. It is properly pathetic and gloomy, and +merits fully its high reputation. This painter rejoices in such +subjects--in what Lord Portsmouth used to call "black jobs." He +has killed Charles I. and Lady Jane Grey, and the Dukes of Guise, +and I don't know whom besides. He is, at present, occupied with a +vast work at the Beaux Arts, where the writer of this had the honor +of seeing him,--a little, keen-looking man, some five feet in +height. He wore, on this important occasion, a bandanna round his +head, and was in the act of smoking a cigar. + +Horace Vernet, whose beautiful daughter Delaroche married, is the +king of French battle-painters--an amazingly rapid and dexterous +draughtsman, who has Napoleon and all the campaigns by heart, and +has painted the Grenadier Francais under all sorts of attitudes. +His pictures on such subjects are spirited, natural, and excellent; +and he is so clever a man, that all he does is good to a certain +degree. His "Judith" is somewhat violent, perhaps. His "Rebecca" +most pleasing; and not the less so for a little pretty affectation +of attitude and needless singularity of costume. "Raphael and +Michael Angelo" is as clever a picture as can be--clever is just +the word--the groups and drawing excellent, the coloring pleasantly +bright and gaudy; and the French students study it incessantly; +there are a dozen who copy it for one who copies Delacroix. His +little scraps of wood-cuts, in the now publishing "Life of +Napoleon," are perfect gems in their way, and the noble price paid +for them not a penny more than he merits. + +The picture, by Court, of "The Death of Caesar," is remarkable for +effect and excellent workmanship: and the head of Brutus (who looks +like Armand Carrel) is full of energy. There are some beautiful +heads of women, and some very good color in the picture. +Jacquand's "Death of Adelaide de Comminges" is neither more nor +less than beautiful. Adelaide had, it appears, a lover, who betook +himself to a convent of Trappists. She followed him thither, +disguised as a man, took the vows, and was not discovered by him +till on her death-bed. The painter has told this story in a most +pleasing and affecting manner: the picture is full of onction and +melancholy grace. The objects, too, are capitally represented; and +the tone and color very good. Decaisne's "Guardian Angel" is not +so good in color, but is equally beautiful in expression and grace. +A little child and a nurse are asleep: an angel watches the infant. +You see women look very wistfully at this sweet picture; and what +triumph would a painter have more? + +We must not quit the Luxembourg without noticing the dashing sea- +pieces of Gudin, and one or two landscapes by Giroux (the plain of +Grasivaudan), and "The Prometheus" of Aligny. This is an +imitation, perhaps; as is a noble picture of "Jesus Christ and the +Children," by Flandrin: but the artists are imitating better +models, at any rate; and one begins to perceive that the odious +classical dynasty is no more. Poussin's magnificent "Polyphemus" +(I only know a print of that marvellous composition) has, perhaps, +suggested the first-named picture; and the latter has been inspired +by a good enthusiastic study of the Roman schools. + +Of this revolution, Monsieur Ingres has been one of the chief +instruments. He was, before Horace Vernet, president of the French +Academy at Rome, and is famous as a chief of a school. When he +broke up his atelier here, to set out for his presidency, many of +his pupils attended him faithfully some way on his journey; and +some, with scarcely a penny in their pouches, walked through France +and across the Alps, in a pious pilgrimage to Rome, being +determined not to forsake their old master. Such an action was +worthy of them, and of the high rank which their profession holds +in France, where the honors to be acquired by art are only inferior +to those which are gained in war. One reads of such peregrinations +in old days, when the scholars of some great Italian painter +followed him from Venice to Rome, or from Florence to Ferrara. In +regard of Ingres's individual merit as a painter, the writer of +this is not a fair judge, having seen but three pictures by him; +one being a plafond in the Louvre, which his disciples much admire. + +Ingres stands between the Imperio-Davido-classical school of French +art, and the namby-pamby mystical German school, which is for +carrying us back to Cranach and Durer, and which is making progress +here. + +For everything here finds imitation: the French have the genius of +imitation and caricature. This absurd humbug, called the Christian +or Catholic art, is sure to tickle our neighbors, and will be a +favorite with them, when better known. My dear MacGilp, I do +believe this to be a greater humbug than the humbug of David and +Girodet, inasmuch as the latter was founded on Nature at least; +whereas the former is made up of silly affectations, and +improvements upon Nature. Here, for instance, is Chevalier +Ziegler's picture of "St. Luke painting the Virgin." St. Luke has +a monk's dress on, embroidered, however, smartly round the sleeves. +The Virgin sits in an immense yellow-ochre halo, with her son in +her arms. She looks preternaturally solemn; as does St. Luke, who +is eying his paint-brush with an intense ominous mystical look. +They call this Catholic art. There is nothing, my dear friend, +more easy in life. First take your colors, and rub them down +clean,--bright carmine, bright yellow, bright sienna, bright +ultramarine, bright green. Make the costumes of your figures as +much as possible like the costumes of the early part of the +fifteenth century. Paint them in with the above colors; and if on +a gold ground, the more "Catholic" your art is. Dress your +apostles like priests before the altar; and remember to have a good +commodity of crosiers, censers, and other such gimcracks, as you +may see in the Catholic chapels, in Sutton Street and elsewhere. +Deal in Virgins, and dress them like a burgomaster's wife by +Cranach or Van Eyck. Give them all long twisted tails to their +gowns, and proper angular draperies. Place all their heads on one +side, with the eyes shut, and the proper solemn simper. At the +back of the head, draw, and gild with gold-leaf, a halo or glory, +of the exact shape of a cart-wheel: and you have the thing done. +It is Catholic art tout crache, as Louis Philippe says. We have it +still in England, handed down to us for four centuries, in the +pictures on the cards, as the redoubtable king and queen of clubs. +Look at them: you will see that the costumes and attitudes are +precisely similar to those which figure in the catholicities of the +school of Overbeck and Cornelius. + +Before you take your cane at the door, look for one instant at the +statue-room. Yonder is Jouffley's "Jeune Fille confiant son +premier secret a Venus." Charming, charming! It is from the +exhibition of this year only; and I think the best sculpture in the +gallery--pretty, fanciful, naive; admirable in workmanship and +imitation of Nature. I have seldom seen flesh better represented +in marble. Examine, also, Jaley's "Pudeur," Jacquot's "Nymph," and +Rude's "Boy with the Tortoise." These are not very exalted +subjects, or what are called exalted, and do not go beyond simple, +smiling beauty and nature. But what then? Are we gods, Miltons, +Michel Angelos, that can leave earth when we please; and soar to +heights immeasurable? No, my dear MacGilp; but the fools of +academicians would fain make us so. Are you not, and half the +painters in London, panting for an opportunity to show your genius +in a great "historical picture?" O blind race! Have you wings? +Not a feather: and yet you must be ever puffing, sweating up to the +tops of rugged hills; and, arrived there, clapping and shaking your +ragged elbows, and making as if you would fly! Come down, silly +Daedalus; come down to the lowly places in which Nature ordered you +to walk. The sweet flowers are springing there; the fat muttons +are waiting there; the pleasant sun shines there; be content and +humble, and take your share of the good cheer. + +While we have been indulging in this discussion, the omnibus has +gayly conducted us across the water; and le garde qui veille a la +porte du Louvre ne defend pas our entry. + +What a paradise this gallery is for French students, or foreigners +who sojourn in the capital! It is hardly necessary to say that the +brethren of the brush are not usually supplied by Fortune with any +extraordinary wealth, or means of enjoying the luxuries with which +Paris, more than any other city, abounds. But here they have a +luxury which surpasses all others, and spend their days in a palace +which all the money of all the Rothschilds could not buy. They +sleep, perhaps, in a garret, and dine in a cellar; but no grandee +in Europe has such a drawing-room. Kings' houses have, at best, +but damask hangings, and gilt cornices. What are these to a wall +covered with canvas by Paul Veronese, or a hundred yards of Rubens? +Artists from England, who have a national gallery that resembles a +moderate-sized gin-shop, who may not copy pictures, except under +particular restrictions, and on rare and particular days, may revel +here to their hearts' content. Here is a room half a mile long, +with as many windows as Aladdin's palace, open from sunrise till +evening, and free to all manners and all varieties of study: the +only puzzle to the student is to select the one he shall begin +upon, and keep his eyes away from the rest. + +Fontaine's grand staircase, with its arches, and painted ceilings +and shining Doric columns, leads directly to the gallery; but it +is thought too fine for working days, and is only opened for the +public entrance on Sabbath. A little back stair (leading from a +court, in which stand numerous bas-reliefs, and a solemn sphinx, +of polished granite,) is the common entry for students and others, +who, during the week, enter the gallery. + +Hither have lately been transported a number of the works of French +artists, which formerly covered the walls of the Luxembourg (death +only entitles the French painter to a place in the Louvre); and let +us confine ourselves to the Frenchmen only, for the space of this +letter. + +I have seen, in a fine private collection at St. Germain, one or +two admirable single figures of David, full of life, truth, and +gayety. The color is not good, but all the rest excellent; and one +of these so much-lauded pictures is the portrait of a washer-woman. +"Pope Pius," at the Louvre, is as bad in color as remarkable for +its vigor and look of life. The man had a genius for painting +portraits and common life, but must attempt the heroic;--failed +signally; and what is worse, carried a whole nation blundering +after him. Had you told a Frenchman so, twenty years ago, he would +have thrown the dementi in your teeth; or, at least, laughed at you +in scornful incredulity. They say of us that we don't know when we +are beaten: they go a step further, and swear their defeats are +victories. David was a part of the glory of the empire; and one +might as well have said then that "Romulus" was a bad picture, as +that Toulouse was a lost battle. Old-fashioned people, who believe +in the Emperor, believe in the Theatre Francais, and believe that +Ducis improved upon Shakspeare, have the above opinion. Still, it +is curious to remark, in this place, how art and literature become +party matters, and political sects have their favorite painters and +authors. + +Nevertheless, Jacques Louis David is dead, he died about a year +after his bodily demise in 1825. The romanticism killed him. +Walter Scott, from his Castle of Abbotsford, sent out a troop of +gallant young Scotch adventurers, merry outlaws, valiant knights, +and savage Highlanders, who, with trunk hosen and buff jerkins, +fierce two-handed swords, and harness on their back, did challenge, +combat, and overcome the heroes and demigods of Greece and Rome. +Notre Dame a la rescousse! Sir Brian de Bois Guilbert has borne +Hector of Troy clear out of his saddle. Andromache may weep: but +her spouse is beyond the reach of physic. See! Robin Hood twangs +his bow, and the heathen gods fly, howling. Montjoie Saint Denis! +down goes Ajax under the mace of Dunois; and yonder are Leonidas +and Romulus begging their lives of Rob Roy Macgregor. Classicism +is dead. Sir John Froissart has taken Dr. Lempriere by the nose, +and reigns sovereign. + +Of the great pictures of David the defunct, we need not, then, say +much. Romulus is a mighty fine young fellow, no doubt; and if he +has come out to battle stark naked (except a very handsome helmet), +it is because the costume became him, and shows off his figure to +advantage. But was there ever anything so absurd as this passion +for the nude, which was followed by all the painters of the +Davidian epoch? And how are we to suppose yonder straddle to be +the true characteristic of the heroic and the sublime? Romulus +stretches his legs as far as ever nature will allow; the Horatii, +in receiving their swords, think proper to stretch their legs too, +and to thrust forward their arms, thus,-- + + +[Drawing omitted] + + +Romulus's is in the exact action of a telegraph; and the Horatii +are all in the position of the lunge. Is this the sublime? Mr. +Angelo, of Bond Street, might admire the attitude; his namesake, +Michel, I don't think would. + +The little picture of "Paris and Helen," one of the master's +earliest, I believe, is likewise one of his best: the details are +exquisitely painted. Helen looks needlessly sheepish, and Paris +has a most odious ogle; but the limbs of the male figure are +beautifully designed, and have not the green tone which you see in +the later pictures of the master. What is the meaning of this +green? Was it the fashion, or the varnish? Girodet's pictures +are green; Gros's emperors and grenadiers have universally the +jaundice. Gerard's "Psyche" has a most decided green-sickness; and +I am at a loss, I confess, to account for the enthusiasm which this +performance inspired on its first appearance before the public. + +In the same room with it is Girodet's ghastly "Deluge," and +Gericault's dismal "Medusa." Gericault died, they say, for want of +fame. He was a man who possessed a considerable fortune of his +own; but pined because no one in his day would purchase his +pictures, and so acknowledge his talent. At present, a scrawl from +his pencil brings an enormous price. All his works have a grand +cachet: he never did anything mean. When he painted the "Raft of +the Medusa," it is said he lived for a long time among the corpses +which he painted, and that his studio was a second Morgue. If you +have not seen the picture, you are familiar probably, with +Reynolds's admirable engraving of it. A huge black sea; a raft +beating upon it; a horrid company of men dead, half dead, writhing +and frantic with hideous hunger or hideous hope; and, far away, +black, against a stormy sunset, a sail. The story is powerfully +told, and has a legitimate tragic interest, so to speak,--deeper, +because more natural, than Girodet's green "Deluge," for instance: +or his livid "Orestes," or red-hot "Clytemnestra." + +Seen from a distance the latter's "Deluge" has a certain awe- +inspiring air with it. A slimy green man stands on a green rock, +and clutches hold of a tree. On the green man's shoulders is his +old father, in a green old age; to him hangs his wife, with a babe +on her breast, and dangling at her hair, another child. In the +water floats a corpse (a beautiful head) and a green sea and +atmosphere envelops all this dismal group. The old father is +represented with a bag of money in his hand; and the tree, which +the man catches, is cracking, and just on the point of giving way. +These two points were considered very fine by the critics: they are +two such ghastly epigrams as continually disfigure French Tragedy. +For this reason I have never been able to read Racine with +pleasure,--the dialogue is so crammed with these lugubrious good +things--melancholy antitheses--sparkling undertakers' wit; but this +is heresy, and had better be spoken discreetly. + +The gallery contains a vast number of Poussin's pictures; they put +me in mind of the color of objects in dreams,--a strange, hazy, +lurid hue. How noble are some of his landscapes! What a depth of +solemn shadow is in yonder wood, near which, by the side of a black +water, halts Diogenes. The air is thunder-laden, and breathes +heavily. You hear ominous whispers in the vast forest gloom. + +Near it is a landscape, by Carel Dujardin, I believe, conceived in +quite a different mood, but exquisitely poetical too. A horseman +is riding up a hill, and giving money to a blowsy beggar-wench. +O matutini rores auraeque salubres! in what a wonderful way has the +artist managed to create you out of a few bladders of paint and +pots of varnish. You can see the matutinal dews twinkling in the +grass, and feel the fresh, salubrious airs ("the breath of Nature +blowing free," as the corn-law man sings) blowing free over the +heath; silvery vapors are rising up from the blue lowlands. You +can tell the hour of the morning and the time of the year: you can +do anything but describe it in words. As with regard to the +Poussin above mentioned, one can never pass it without bearing away +a certain pleasing, dreamy feeling of awe and musing; the other +landscape inspires the spectator infallibly with the most +delightful briskness and cheerfulness of spirit. Herein lies the +vast privilege of the landscape-painter: he does not address you +with one fixed particular subject or expression, but with a +thousand never contemplated by himself, and which only arise out of +occasion. You may always be looking at a natural landscape as at a +fine pictorial imitation of one; it seems eternally producing new +thoughts in your bosom, as it does fresh beauties from its own. I +cannot fancy more delightful, cheerful, silent companions for a man +than half a dozen landscapes hung round his study. Portraits, on +the contrary, and large pieces of figures, have a painful, fixed, +staring look, which must jar upon the mind in many of its moods. +Fancy living in a room with David's sans-culotte Leonidas staring +perpetually in your face! + +There is a little Watteau here, and a rare piece of fantastical +brightness and gayety it is. What a delightful affectation about +yonder ladies flirting their fans, and trailing about in their long +brocades! What splendid dandies are those, ever-smirking, turning +out their toes, with broad blue ribbons to tie up their crooks and +their pigtails, and wonderful gorgeous crimson satin breeches! +Yonder, in the midst of a golden atmosphere, rises a bevy of little +round Cupids, bubbling up in clusters as out of a champagne-bottle, +and melting away in air. There is, to be sure, a hidden analogy +between liquors and pictures: the eye is deliciously tickled by +these frisky Watteaus, and yields itself up to a light, smiling, +gentlemanlike intoxication. Thus, were we inclined to pursue +further this mighty subject, yonder landscape of Claude,--calm, +fresh, delicate, yet full of flavor,--should be likened to a bottle +of Chateau Margaux. And what is the Poussin before spoken of but +Romanee Gelee?--heavy, sluggish,--the luscious odor almost sickens +you; a sultry sort of drink; your limbs sink under it; you feel as +if you had been drinking hot blood. + +An ordinary man would be whirled away in a fever, or would hobble +off this mortal stage in a premature gout-fit, if he too early or +too often indulged in such tremendous drink. I think in my heart +I am fonder of pretty third-rate pictures than of your great +thundering first-rates. Confess how many times you have read +Beranger, and how many Milton? If you go to the "Star and Garter," +don't you grow sick of that vast, luscious landscape, and long for +the sight of a couple of cows, or a donkey, and a few yards of +common? Donkeys, my dear MacGilp, since we have come to this +subject, say not so; Richmond Hill for them. Milton they never +grow tired of; and are as familiar with Raphael as Bottom with +exquisite Titania. Let us thank heaven, my dear sir, for according +to us the power to taste and appreciate the pleasures of +mediocrity. I have never heard that we were great geniuses. +Earthy are we, and of the earth; glimpses of the sublime are but +rare to us; leave we them to great geniuses, and to the donkeys; +and if it nothing profit us aerias tentasse domos along with them, +let us thankfully remain below, being merry and humble. + +I have now only to mention the charming "Cruche Cassee" of Greuze, +which all the young ladies delight to copy; and of which the color +(a thought too blue, perhaps) is marvellously graceful and +delicate. There are three more pictures by the artist, containing +exquisite female heads and color; but they have charms for French +critics which are difficult to be discovered by English eyes; and +the pictures seem weak to me. A very fine picture by Bon +Bollongue, "Saint Benedict resuscitating a Child," deserves +particular attention, and is superb in vigor and richness of color. +You must look, too, at the large, noble, melancholy landscapes of +Philippe de Champagne; and the two magnificent Italian pictures of +Leopold Robert: they are, perhaps, the very finest pictures that +the French school has produced,--as deep as Poussin, of a better +color, and of a wonderful minuteness and veracity in the +representation of objects. + +Every one of Lesueur's church-pictures is worth examining and +admiring; they are full of "unction" and pious mystical grace. +"Saint Scholastica" is divine; and the "Taking down from the Cross" +as noble a composition as ever was seen; I care not by whom the +other may be. There is more beauty, and less affectation, about +this picture than you will find in the performances of many Italian +masters, with high-sounding names (out with it, and say RAPHAEL at +once). I hate those simpering Madonnas. I declare that the +"Jardiniere" is a puking, smirking miss, with nothing heavenly +about her. I vow that the "Saint Elizabeth" is a bad picture,--a +bad composition, badly drawn, badly colored, in a bad imitation of +Titian,--a piece of vile affectation. I say, that when Raphael +painted this picture two years before his death, the spirit of +painting had gone from out of him; he was no longer inspired; IT +WAS TIME THAT HE SHOULD DIE!! + +There,--the murder is out! My paper is filled to the brim, and +there is no time to speak of Lesueur's "Crucifixion," which is +odiously colored, to be sure; but earnest, tender, simple, holy. +But such things are most difficult to translate into words;--one +lays down the pen, and thinks and thinks. The figures appear, and +take their places one by one: ranging themselves according to +order, in light or in gloom, the colors are reflected duly in the +little camera obscura of the brain, and the whole picture lies +there complete; but can you describe it? No, not if pens were +fitch-brushes, and words were bladders of paint. With which, for +the present, adieu. + +Your faithful + +M. A. T. + +To Mr. ROBERT MACGILP, + +NEWMAN STREET, LONDON. + + + + +THE PAINTER'S BARGAIN. + + +Simon Gambouge was the son of Solomon Gambouge; and as all the +world knows, both father and son were astonishingly clever fellows +at their profession. Solomon painted landscapes, which nobody +bought; and Simon took a higher line, and painted portraits to +admiration, only nobody came to sit to him. + +As he was not gaining five pounds a year by his profession, and had +arrived at the age of twenty, at least, Simon determined to better +himself by taking a wife,--a plan which a number of other wise men +adopt, in similar years and circumstances. So Simon prevailed upon +a butcher's daughter (to whom he owed considerably for cutlets) to +quit the meat-shop and follow him. Griskinissa--such was the fair +creature's name--"was as lovely a bit of mutton," her father said, +"as ever a man would wish to stick a knife into." She had sat to +the painter for all sorts of characters; and the curious who +possess any of Gambouge's pictures will see her as Venus, Minerva, +Madonna, and in numberless other characters: Portrait of a lady-- +Griskinissa; Sleeping Nymph--Griskinissa, without a rag of clothes, +lying in a forest; Maternal Solicitude--Griskinissa again, with +young Master Gambouge, who was by this time the offspring of their +affections. + +The lady brought the painter a handsome little fortune of a couple +of hundred pounds; and as long as this sum lasted no woman could be +more lovely or loving. But want began speedily to attack their +little household; bakers' bills were unpaid; rent was due, and the +reckless landlord gave no quarter; and, to crown the whole, her +father, unnatural butcher! suddenly stopped the supplies of mutton- +chops; and swore that his daughter, and the dauber; her husband, +should have no more of his wares. At first they embraced tenderly, +and, kissing and crying over their little infant, vowed to heaven +that they would do without: but in the course of the evening +Griskinissa grew peckish, and poor Simon pawned his best coat. + +When this habit of pawning is discovered, it appears to the poor a +kind of Eldorado. Gambouge and his wife were so delighted, that +they, in the course of a month, made away with her gold chain, her +great warming-pan, his best crimson plush inexpressibles, two wigs, +a washhand basin and ewer, fire-irons, window-curtains, crockery, +and arm-chairs. Griskinissa said, smiling, that she had found a +second father in HER UNCLE,--a base pun, which showed that her +mind was corrupted, and that she was no longer the tender, simple +Griskinissa of other days. + +I am sorry to say that she had taken to drinking; she swallowed the +warming-pan in the course of three days, and fuddled herself one +whole evening with the crimson plush breeches. + +Drinking is the devil--the father, that is to say, of all vices. +Griskinissa's face and her mind grew ugly together; her good humor +changed to bilious, bitter discontent; her pretty, fond epithets, +to foul abuse and swearing; her tender blue eyes grew watery and +blear, and the peach-color on her cheeks fled from its old +habitation, and crowded up into her nose, where, with a number of +pimples, it stuck fast. Add to this a dirty, draggle-tailed +chintz; long, matted hair, wandering into her eyes, and over her +lean shoulders, which were once so snowy, and you have the picture +of drunkenness and Mrs. Simon Gambouge. + +Poor Simon, who had been a gay, lively fellow enough in the days of +his better fortune, was completely cast down by his present ill +luck, and cowed by the ferocity of his wife. From morning till +night the neighbors could hear this woman's tongue, and understand +her doings; bellows went skimming across the room, chairs were +flumped down on the floor, and poor Gambouge's oil and varnish pots +went clattering through the windows, or down the stairs. The baby +roared all day; and Simon sat pale and idle in a corner, taking a +small sup at the brandy-bottle, when Mrs. Gambouge was out of the +way. + +One day, as he sat disconsolately at his easel, furbishing up a +picture of his wife, in the character of Peace, which he had +commenced a year before, he was more than ordinarily desperate, and +cursed and swore in the most pathetic manner. "O miserable fate of +genius!" cried he, "was I, a man of such commanding talents, born +for this? to be bullied by a fiend of a wife; to have my +masterpieces neglected by the world, or sold only for a few pieces? +Cursed be the love which has misled me; cursed, be the art which is +unworthy of me! Let me dig or steal, let me sell myself as a +soldier, or sell myself to the Devil, I should not be more wretched +than I am now!" + +"Quite the contrary," cried a small, cheery voice. + +"What!" exclaimed Gambouge, trembling and surprised. "Who's +there?--where are you?--who are you?" + +"You were just speaking of me," said the voice. + +Gambouge held, in his left hand, his palette; in his right, a +bladder of crimson lake, which he was about to squeeze out upon the +mahogany. "Where are you?" cried he again. + +"S-q-u-e-e-z-e!" exclaimed the little voice. + +Gambouge picked out the nail from the bladder, and gave a squeeze; +when, as sure as I am living, a little imp spurted out from the +hole upon the palette, and began laughing in the most singular and +oily manner. + +When first born he was little bigger than a tadpole; then he grew +to be as big as a mouse; then he arrived at the size of a cat; and +then he jumped off the palette, and, turning head over heels, asked +the poor painter what he wanted with him. + +The strange little animal twisted head over heels, and fixed +himself at last upon the top of Gambouge's easel,--smearing out, +with his heels, all the white and vermilion which had just been +laid on the allegoric portrait of Mrs. Gambouge. + +"What!" exclaimed Simon, "is it the--" + +"Exactly so; talk of me, you know, and I am always at hand: +besides, I am not half so black as I am painted, as you will see +when you know me a little better." + +"Upon my word," said the painter, "it is a very singular surprise +which you have given me. To tell truth, I did not even believe in +your existence." + +The little imp put on a theatrical air, and, with one of Mr. +Macready's best looks, said,-- + + + "There are more things in heaven and earth, Gambogio, + Than are dreamed of in your philosophy." + + +Gambouge, being a Frenchman, did not understand the quotation, but +felt somehow strangely and singularly interested in the conversation +of his new friend. + +Diabolus continued: "You are a man of merit, and want money; you +will starve on your merit; you can only get money from me. Come, +my friend, how much is it? I ask the easiest interest in the +world: old Mordecai, the usurer, has made you pay twice as heavily +before now: nothing but the signature of a bond, which is a mere +ceremony, and the transfer of an article which, in itself, is a +supposition--a valueless, windy, uncertain property of yours, +called, by some poet of your own, I think, an animula, vagula, +blandula--bah! there is no use beating about the bush--I mean A +SOUL. Come, let me have it; you know you will sell it some other +way, and not get such good pay for your bargain!"--and, having made +this speech, the Devil pulled out from his fob a sheet as big as a +double Times, only there was a different STAMP in the corner. + +It is useless and tedious to describe law documents: lawyers only +love to read them; and they have as good in Chitty as any that are +to be found in the Devil's own; so nobly have the apprentices +emulated the skill of the master. Suffice it to say, that poor +Gambouge read over the paper, and signed it. He was to have all he +wished for seven years, and at the end of that time was to become +the property of the -----; PROVIDED that, during the course of the +seven years, every single wish which he might form should be +gratified by the other of the contracting parties; otherwise the +deed became null and non-avenue, and Gambouge should be left "to go +to the ----- his own way." + +"You will never see me again," said Diabolus, in shaking hands with +poor Simon, on whose fingers he left such a mark as is to be seen +at this day--"never, at least, unless you want me; for everything +you ask will be performed in the most quiet and every-day manner: +believe me, it is best and most gentlemanlike, and avoids anything +like scandal. But if you set me about anything which is +extraordinary, and out of the course of nature, as it were, come I +must, you know; and of this you are the best judge." So saying, +Diabolus disappeared; but whether up the chimney, through the +keyhole, or by any other aperture or contrivance, nobody knows. +Simon Gambouge was left in a fever of delight, as, heaven forgive +me! I believe many a worthy man would be, if he were allowed an +opportunity to make a similar bargain. + +"Heigho!" said Simon. "I wonder whether this be a reality or a +dream.--I am sober, I know; for who will give me credit for the +means to be drunk? and as for sleeping, I'm too hungry for that. I +wish I could see a capon and a bottle of white wine." + +"MONSIEUR SIMON!" cried a voice on the landing-place. + +"C'est ici," quoth Gambouge, hastening to open the door. He did +so; and lo! there was a restaurateur's boy at the door, supporting +a tray, a tin-covered dish, and plates on the same; and, by its +side, a tall amber-colored flask of Sauterne. + +"I am the new boy, sir," exclaimed this youth, on entering; "but I +believe this is the right door, and you asked for these things." + +Simon grinned, and said, "Certainly, I did ASK FOR these things." +But such was the effect which his interview with the demon had had +on his innocent mind, that he took them, although he knew that they +were for old Simon, the Jew dandy, who was mad after an opera girl, +and lived on the floor beneath. + +"Go, my boy," he said; "it is good: call in a couple of hours, and +remove the plates and glasses." + +The little waiter trotted down stairs, and Simon sat greedily down +to discuss the capon and the white wine. He bolted the legs, he +devoured the wings, he cut every morsel of flesh from the breast;-- +seasoning his repast with pleasant draughts of wine, and caring +nothing for the inevitable bill, which was to follow all. + +"Ye gods!" said he, as he scraped away at the backbone, "what a +dinner! what wine!--and how gayly served up too!" There were +silver forks and spoons, and the remnants of the fowl were upon a +silver dish. "Why, the money for this dish and these spoons," +cried Simon, "would keep me and Mrs. G. for a month! I WISH"--and +here Simon whistled, and turned round to see that nobody was +peeping--"I wish the plate were mine." + +Oh, the horrid progress of the Devil! "Here they are," thought +Simon to himself; "why should not I TAKE THEM?" And take them he +did. "Detection," said he, "is not so bad as starvation; and I +would as soon live at the galleys as live with Madame Gambouge." + +So Gambouge shovelled dish and spoons into the flap of his surtout, +and ran down stairs as if the Devil were behind him--as, indeed, he +was. + +He immediately made for the house of his old friend the pawnbroker-- +that establishment which is called in France the Mont de Piete. +"I am obliged to come to you again, my old friend," said Simon, +"with some family plate, of which I beseech you to take care." + +The pawnbroker smiled as he examined the goods. "I can give you +nothing upon them," said he. + +"What!" cried Simon; "not even the worth of the silver?" + +"No; I could buy them at that price at the 'Cafe Morisot,' Rue de +la Verrerie, where, I suppose, you got them a little cheaper." +And, so saying, he showed to the guilt-stricken Gambouge how the +name of that coffee-house was inscribed upon every one of the +articles which he had wished to pawn. + +The effects of conscience are dreadful indeed. Oh! how fearful is +retribution, how deep is despair, how bitter is remorse for crime-- +WHEN CRIME IS FOUND OUT!--otherwise, conscience takes matters much +more easily. Gambouge cursed his fate, and swore henceforth to be +virtuous. + +"But, hark ye, my friend," continued the honest broker, "there is +no reason why, because I cannot lend upon these things, I should +not buy them: they will do to melt, if for no other purpose. Will +you have half the money?--speak, or I peach." + +Simon's resolves about virtue were dissipated instantaneously. +"Give me half," he said, "and let me go.--What scoundrels are these +pawnbrokers!" ejaculated he, as he passed out of the accursed shop, +"seeking every wicked pretext to rob the poor man of his hard-won +gain." + +When he had marched forwards for a street or two, Gambouge counted +the money which he had received, and found that he was in possession +of no less than a hundred francs. It was night, as he reckoned out +his equivocal gains, and he counted them at the light of a lamp. He +looked up at the lamp, in doubt as to the course he should next +pursue: upon it was inscribed the simple number, 152. "A +gambling-house," thought Gambouge. "I wish I had half the money +that is now on the table, up stairs." + +He mounted, as many a rogue has done before him, and found half a +hundred persons busy at a table of rouge et noir. Gambouge's five +napoleons looked insignificant by the side of the heaps which were +around him; but the effects of the wine, of the theft, and of the +detection by the pawnbroker, were upon him, and he threw down his +capital stoutly upon the 0 0. + +It is a dangerous spot that 0 0, or double zero; but to Simon it +was more lucky than to the rest of the world. The ball went +spinning round--in "its predestined circle rolled," as Shelley has +it, after Goethe--and plumped down at last in the double zero. One +hundred and thirty-five gold napoleons (louis they were then) were +counted out to the delighted painter. "Oh, Diabolus!" cried he, +"now it is that I begin to believe in thee! Don't talk about +merit," he cried; "talk about fortune. Tell me not about heroes +for the future--tell me of ZEROES." And down went twenty napoleons +more upon the 0. + +The Devil was certainly in the ball: round it twirled, and dropped +into zero as naturally as a duck pops its head into a pond. Our +friend received five hundred pounds for his stake; and the +croupiers and lookers-on began to stare at him. + +There were twelve thousand pounds on the table. Suffice it to say, +that Simon won half, and retired from the Palais Royal with a thick +bundle of bank-notes crammed into his dirty three-cornered hat. He +had been but half an hour in the place, and he had won the revenues +of a prince for half a year! + +Gambouge, as soon as he felt that he was a capitalist, and that he +had a stake in the country, discovered that he was an altered man. +He repented of his foul deed, and his base purloining of the +restaurateur's plate. "O honesty!" he cried, "how unworthy is an +action like this of a man who has a property like mine!" So he +went back to the pawnbroker with the gloomiest face imaginable. +"My friend," said he, "I have sinned against all that I hold most +sacred: I have forgotten my family and my religion. Here is thy +money. In the name of heaven, restore me the plate which I have +wrongfully sold thee!" + +But the pawnbroker grinned, and said, "Nay, Mr. Gambouge, I will +sell that plate for a thousand francs to you, or I never will sell +it at all." + +"Well," cried Gambouge, "thou art an inexorable ruffian, Troisboules; +but I will give thee all I am worth." And here he produced a billet +of five hundred francs. "Look," said he, "this money is all I own; +it is the payment of two years' lodging. To raise it, I have toiled +for many months; and, failing, I have been a criminal. O heaven! +I STOLE that plate that I might pay my debt, and keep my dear wife +from wandering houseless. But I cannot bear this load of ignominy-- +I cannot suffer the thought of this crime. I will go to the person +to whom I did wrong, I will starve, I will confess; but I will, I +WILL do right!" + +The broker was alarmed. "Give me thy note," he cried; "here is the +plate." + +"Give me an acquittal first," cried Simon, almost broken-hearted; +"sign me a paper, and the money is yours." So Troisboules wrote +according to Gambouge's dictation; "Received, for thirteen ounces +of plate, twenty pounds." + +"Monster of iniquity!" cried the painter, "fiend of wickedness! +thou art caught in thine own snares. Hast thou not sold me five +pounds' worth of plate for twenty? Have I it not in my pocket? +Art thou not a convicted dealer in stolen goods? Yield, scoundrel, +yield thy money, or I will bring thee to justice!" + +The frightened pawnbroker bullied and battled for a while; but he +gave up his money at last, and the dispute ended. Thus it will be +seen that Diabolus had rather a hard bargain in the wily Gambouge. +He had taken a victim prisoner, but he had assuredly caught a +Tartar. Simon now returned home, and, to do him justice, paid the +bill for his dinner, and restored the plate. + +And now I may add (and the reader should ponder upon this, as a +profound picture of human life), that Gambouge, since he had grown +rich, grew likewise abundantly moral. He was a most exemplary +father. He fed the poor, and was loved by them. He scorned a +base action. And I have no doubt that Mr. Thurtell, or the late +lamented Mr. Greenacre, in similar circumstances, would have acted +like the worthy Simon Gambouge. + +There was but one blot upon his character--he hated Mrs. Gam. worse +than ever. As he grew more benevolent, she grew more virulent: +when he went to plays, she went to Bible societies, and vice versa: +in fact, she led him such a life as Xantippe led Socrates, or as a +dog leads a cat in the same kitchen. With all his fortune--for, as +may be supposed, Simon prospered in all worldly things--he was the +most miserable dog in the whole city of Paris. Only in the point +of drinking did he and Mrs. Simon agree; and for many years, and +during a considerable number of hours in each day, he thus +dissipated, partially, his domestic chagrin. O philosophy! we may +talk of thee: but, except at the bottom of the winecup, where thou +liest like truth in a well, where shall we find thee? + +He lived so long, and in his worldly matters prospered so much, +there was so little sign of devilment in the accomplishment of his +wishes, and the increase of his prosperity, that Simon, at the end +of six years, began to doubt whether he had made any such bargain +at all, as that which we have described at the commencement of this +history. He had grown, as we said, very pious and moral. He went +regularly to mass, and had a confessor into the bargain. He +resolved, therefore, to consult that reverend gentleman, and to lay +before him the whole matter. + +"I am inclined to think, holy sir," said Gambouge, after he had +concluded his history, and shown how, in some miraculous way, all +his desires were accomplished, "that, after all, this demon was no +other than the creation of my own brain, heated by the effects of +that bottle of wine, the cause of my crime and my prosperity." + +The confessor agreed with him, and they walked out of church +comfortably together, and entered afterwards a cafe, where they sat +down to refresh themselves after the fatigues of their devotion. + +A respectable old gentleman, with a number of orders at his +buttonhole, presently entered the room, and sauntered up to the +marble table, before which reposed Simon and his clerical friend. +"Excuse me, gentlemen," he said, as he took a place opposite them, +and began reading the papers of the day. + +"Bah!" said he, at last,--"sont-ils grands ces journaux Anglais? +Look, sir," he said, handing over an immense sheet of The Times to +Mr. Gambouge, "was ever anything so monstrous?" + +Gambouge smiled politely, and examined the proffered page. "It is +enormous" he said; "but I do not read English." + +"Nay," said the man with the orders, "look closer at it, Signor +Gambouge; it is astonishing how easy the language is." + +Wondering, Simon took a sheet of paper. He turned pale as he +looked at it, and began to curse the ices and the waiter. "Come, +M. l'Abbe," he said; "the heat and glare of this place are +intolerable." + +The stranger rose with them. "Au plaisir de vous revoir, mon cher +monsieur," said he; "I do not mind speaking before the Abbe here, +who will be my very good friend one of these days: but I thought it +necessary to refresh your memory, concerning our little business +transaction six years since; and could not exactly talk of it AT +CHURCH, as you may fancy." + +Simon Gambouge had seen, in the double-sheeted Times, the paper +signed by himself, which the little Devil had pulled out of his +fob. + +There was no doubt on the subject; and Simon, who had but a year +to live, grew more pious, and more careful than ever. He had +consultations with all the doctors of the Sorbonne and all the +lawyers of the Palais. But his magnificence grew as wearisome to +him as his poverty had been before; and not one of the doctors whom +he consulted could give him a pennyworth of consolation. + +Then he grew outrageous in his demands upon the Devil, and put him +to all sorts of absurd and ridiculous tasks; but they were all +punctually performed, until Simon could invent no new ones, and the +Devil sat all day with his hands in his pockets doing nothing. + +One day, Simon's confessor came bounding into the room, with the +greatest glee. "My friend," said he, "I have it! Eureka!--I have +found it. Send the Pope a hundred thousand crowns, build a new +Jesuit college at Rome, give a hundred gold candlesticks to St. +Peter's; and tell his Holiness you will double all, if he will give +you absolution!" + +Gambouge caught at the notion, and hurried off a courier to Rome +ventre a terre. His Holiness agreed to the request of the +petition, and sent him an absolution, written out with his own +fist, and all in due form. + +"Now," said he, "foul fiend, I defy you! arise, Diabolus! your +contract is not worth a jot: the Pope has absolved me, and I am +safe on the road to salvation." In a fervor of gratitude he +clasped the hand of his confessor, and embraced him: tears of joy +ran down the cheeks of these good men. + +They heard an inordinate roar of laughter, and there was Diabolus +sitting opposite to them, holding his sides, and lashing his tail +about, as if he would have gone mad with glee. + +"Why," said he, "what nonsense is this! do you suppose I care about +THAT?" and he tossed the Pope's missive into a corner. "M. l'Abbe +knows," he said, bowing and grinning, "that though the Pope's paper +may pass current HERE, it is not worth twopence in our country. +What do I care about the Pope's absolution? You might just as well +be absolved by your under butler." + +"Egad," said the Abbe, "the rogue is right--I quite forgot the +fact, which he points out clearly enough." + +"No, no, Gambouge," continued Diabolus, with horrid familiarity. +"go thy ways, old fellow, that COCK WON'T FIGHT." And he retired +up the chimney, chuckling at his wit and his triumph. Gambouge +heard his tail scuttling all the way up, as if he had been a +sweeper by profession. + +Simon was left in that condition of grief in which, according to +the newspapers, cities and nations are found when a murder is +committed, or a lord ill of the gout--a situation, we say, more +easy to imagine than to describe. + +To add to his woes, Mrs. Gambouge, who was now first made acquainted +with his compact, and its probable consequences, raised such a storm +about his ears, as made him wish almost that his seven years were +expired. She screamed, she scolded, she swore, she wept, she went +into such fits of hysterics, that poor Gambouge, who had completely +knocked under to her, was worn out of his life. He was allowed no +rest, night or day: he moped about his fine house, solitary and +wretched, and cursed his stars that he ever had married the +butcher's daughter. + +It wanted six months of the time. + +A sudden and desperate resolution seemed all at once to have taken +possession of Simon Gambouge. He called his family and his friends +together--he gave one of the greatest feasts that ever was known in +the city of Paris--he gayly presided at one end of his table, while +Mrs. Gam., splendidly arrayed, gave herself airs at the other +extremity. + +After dinner, using the customary formula, he called upon Diabolus +to appear. The old ladies screamed, and hoped he would not appear +naked; the young ones tittered, and longed to see the monster: +everybody was pale with expectation and affright. + +A very quiet, gentlemanly man, neatly dressed in black, made his +appearance, to the surprise of all present, and bowed all round to +the company. "I will not show my CREDENTIALS," he said, blushing, +and pointing to his hoofs, which were cleverly hidden by his pumps +and shoe-buckles, "unless the ladies absolutely wish it; but I am +the person you want, Mr. Gambouge; pray tell me what is your will." + +"You know," said that gentleman, in a stately and determined voice, +"that you are bound to me, according to our agreement, for six +months to come." + +"I am," replied the new comer. + +"You are to do all that I ask, whatsoever it may be, or you forfeit +the bond which I gave you?" + +"It is true." + +"You declare this before the present company?" + +"Upon my honor, as a gentleman," said Diabolus, bowing, and laying +his hand upon his waistcoat. + +A whisper of applause ran round the room: all were charmed with the +bland manners of the fascinating stranger. + +"My love," continued Gambouge, mildly addressing his lady, "will +you be so polite as to step this way? You know I must go soon, and +I am anxious, before this noble company, to make a provision for +one who, in sickness as in health, in poverty as in riches, has +been my truest and fondest companion." + +Gambouge mopped his eyes with his handkerchief--all the company did +likewise. Diabolus sobbed audibly, and Mrs. Gambouge sidled up to +her husband's side, and took him tenderly by the hand. "Simon!" +said she, "is it true? and do you really love your Griskinissa?" + +Simon continued solemnly: "Come hither, Diabolus; you are bound to +obey me in all things for the six months during which our contract +has to run; take, then, Griskinissa Gambouge, live alone with her +for half a year, never leave her from morning till night, obey all +her caprices, follow all her whims, and listen to all the abuse +which falls from her infernal tongue. Do this, and I ask no more +of you; I will deliver myself up at the appointed time." + +Not Lord G---, when flogged by lord B---, in the House,--not Mr. +Cartlitch, of Astley's Amphitheatre, in his most pathetic passages, +could look more crestfallen, and howl more hideously, than Diabolus +did now. "Take another year, Gambouge," screamed he; "two more-- +ten more--a century; roast me on Lawrence's gridiron, boil me in +holy water, but don't ask that: don't, don't bid me live with Mrs. +Gambouge!" + +Simon smiled sternly. "I have said it," he cried; "do this, or our +contract is at an end." + +The Devil, at this, grinned so horribly that every drop of beer in +the house turned sour: he gnashed his teeth so frightfully that +every person in the company wellnigh fainted with the cholic. He +slapped down the great parchment upon the floor, trampled upon +it madly, and lashed it with his hoofs and his tail: at last, +spreading out a mighty pair of wings as wide as from here to Regent +Street, he slapped Gambouge with his tail over one eye, and +vanished, abruptly, through the keyhole. + +Gambouge screamed with pain and started up. "You drunken, lazy +scoundrel!" cried a shrill and well-known voice, "you have been +asleep these two hours:" and here he received another terrific box +on the ear. + +It was too true, he had fallen asleep at his work; and the +beautiful vision had been dispelled by the thumps of the tipsy +Griskinissa. Nothing remained to corroborate his story, except the +bladder of lake, and this was spirted all over his waistcoat and +breeches. + +"I wish," said the poor fellow, rubbing his tingling cheeks, "that +dreams were true;" and he went to work again at his portrait. + +My last accounts of Gambouge are, that he has left the arts, and is +footman in a small family. Mrs. Gam. takes in washing; and it is +said that, her continual dealings with soap-suds and hot water have +been the only things in life which have kept her from spontaneous +combustion. + + + +CARTOUCHE. + + +I have been much interested with an account of the exploits of +Monsieur Louis Dominic Cartouche, and as Newgate and the highways +are so much the fashion with us in England, we may be allowed to +look abroad for histories of a similar tendency. It is pleasant to +find that virtue is cosmopolite, and may exist among wooden-shoed +Papists as well as honest Church-of-England men. + +Louis Dominic was born in a quarter of Paris called the Courtille, +says the historian whose work lies before me;--born in the +Courtille, and in the year 1693. Another biographer asserts that +he was born two years later, and in the Marais;--of respectable +parents, of course. Think of the talent that our two countries +produced about this time: Marlborough, Villars, Mandrin, Turpin, +Boileau, Dryden, Swift, Addison, Moliere, Racine, Jack Sheppard, +and Louis Cartouche,--all famous within the same twenty years, and +fighting, writing, robbing a l'envi! + +Well, Marlborough was no chicken when he began to show his genius; +Swift was but a dull, idle, college lad; but if we read the +histories of some other great men mentioned in the above list-- +I mean the thieves, especially--we shall find that they all +commenced very early: they showed a passion for their art, as +little Raphael did, or little Mozart; and the history of Cartouche's +knaveries begins almost with his breeches. + +Dominic's parents sent him to school at the college of Clermont +(now Louis le Grand); and although it has never been discovered +that the Jesuits, who directed that seminary, advanced him much in +classical or theological knowledge, Cartouche, in revenge, showed, +by repeated instances, his own natural bent and genius, which no +difficulties were strong enough to overcome. His first great +action on record, although not successful in the end, and tinctured +with the innocence of youth, is yet highly creditable to him. He +made a general swoop of a hundred and twenty nightcaps belonging to +his companions, and disposed of them to his satisfaction; but as it +was discovered that of all the youths in the college of Clermont, +he only was the possessor of a cap to sleep in, suspicion (which, +alas! was confirmed) immediately fell upon him: and by this little +piece of youthful naivete, a scheme, prettily conceived and smartly +performed, was rendered naught. + +Cartouche had a wonderful love for good eating, and put all the +apple-women and cooks, who came to supply the students, under +contribution. Not always, however, desirous of robbing these, he +used to deal with them, occasionally, on honest principles of +barter; that is, whenever he could get hold of his schoolfellows' +knives, books, rulers, or playthings, which he used fairly to +exchange for tarts and gingerbread. + +It seemed as if the presiding genius of evil was determined to +patronize this young man; for before he had been long at college, +and soon after he had, with the greatest difficulty, escaped from +the nightcap scrape, an opportunity occurred by which he was +enabled to gratify both his propensities at once, and not only to +steal, but to steal sweetmeats. It happened that the principal of +the college received some pots of Narbonne honey, which came under +the eyes of Cartouche, and in which that young gentleman, as soon +as ever he saw them, determined to put his fingers. The president +of the college put aside his honey-pots in an apartment within his +own; to which, except by the one door which led into the room which +his reverence usually occupied, there was no outlet. There was no +chimney in the room; and the windows looked into the court, where +there was a porter at night, and where crowds passed by day. What +was Cartouche to do?--have the honey he must. + +Over this chamber, which contained what his soul longed after, and +over the president's rooms, there ran a set of unoccupied garrets, +into which the dexterous Cartouche penetrated. These were divided +from the rooms below, according to the fashion of those days, by a +set of large beams, which reached across the whole building, and +across which rude planks were laid, which formed the ceiling of the +lower story and the floor of the upper. Some of these planks did +young Cartouche remove; and having descended by means of a rope, +tied a couple of others to the neck of the honey-pots, climbed back +again, and drew up his prey in safety. He then cunningly fixed the +planks again in their old places, and retired to gorge himself upon +his booty. And, now, see the punishment of avarice! Everybody +knows that the brethren of the order of Jesus are bound by a vow to +have no more than a certain small sum of money in their possession. +The principal of the college of Clermont had amassed a larger sum, +in defiance of this rule: and where do you think the old gentleman +had hidden it? In the honey-pots! As Cartouche dug his spoon into +one of them, he brought out, besides a quantity of golden honey, a +couple of golden louis, which, with ninety-eight more of their +fellows, were comfortably hidden in the pots. Little Dominic, who, +before, had cut rather a poor figure among his fellow-students, now +appeared in as fine clothes as any of them could boast of; and when +asked by his parents, on going home, how he came by them, said that +a young nobleman of his schoolfellows had taken a violent fancy to +him, and made him a present of a couple of his suits. Cartouche +the elder, good man, went to thank the young nobleman; but none +such could be found, and young Cartouche disdained to give any +explanation of his manner of gaining the money. + +Here, again, we have to regret and remark the inadvertence of +youth. Cartouche lost a hundred louis--for what? For a pot of +honey not worth a couple of shillings. Had he fished out the +pieces, and replaced the pots and the honey, he might have been +safe, and a respectable citizen all his life after. The principal +would not have dared to confess the loss of his money, and did not, +openly; but he vowed vengeance against the stealer of his +sweetmeat, and a rigid search was made. Cartouche, as usual, was +fixed upon; and in the tick of his bed, lo! there were found a +couple of empty honey-pots! From this scrape there is no knowing +how he would have escaped, had not the president himself been a +little anxious to hush the matter up; and accordingly, young +Cartouche was made to disgorge the residue of his ill-gotten gold +pieces, old Cartouche made up the deficiency, and his son was +allowed to remain unpunished--until the next time. + +This, you may fancy, was not very long in coming; and though +history has not made us acquainted with the exact crime which Louis +Dominic next committed, it must have been a serious one; for +Cartouche, who had borne philosophically all the whippings and +punishments which were administered to him at college, did not dare +to face that one which his indignant father had in pickle for him. +As he was coming home from school, on the first day after his +crime, when he received permission to go abroad, one of his +brothers, who was on the look-out for him, met him at a short +distance from home, and told him what was in preparation; which so +frightened this young thief, that he declined returning home +altogether, and set out upon the wide world to shift for himself +as he could. + +Undoubted as his genius was, he had not arrived at the full +exercise of it, and his gains were by no means equal to his +appetite. In whatever professions he tried,--whether he joined the +gipsies, which he did,--whether he picked pockets on the Pont Neuf, +which occupation history attributes to him,--poor Cartouche was +always hungry. Hungry and ragged, he wandered from one place and +profession to another, and regretted the honey-pots at Clermont, +and the comfortable soup and bouilli at home. + +Cartouche had an uncle, a kind man, who was a merchant, and had +dealings at Rouen. One day, walking on the quays of that city, +this gentleman saw a very miserable, dirty, starving lad, who had +just made a pounce upon some bones and turnip-peelings, that had +been flung out on the quay, and was eating them as greedily as if +they had been turkeys and truffles. The worthy man examined the +lad a little closer. O heavens! it was their runaway prodigal--it +was little Louis Dominic! The merchant was touched by his case; +and forgetting the nightcaps, the honey-pots, and the rags and dirt +of little Louis, took him to his arms, and kissed and hugged him +with the tenderest affection. Louis kissed and hugged too, and +blubbered a great deal: he was very repentant, as a man often is +when he is hungry; and he went home with his uncle, and his peace +was made; and his mother got him new clothes, and filled his belly, +and for a while Louis was as good a son as might be. + +But why attempt to balk the progress of genius? Louis's was not to +be kept down. He was sixteen years of age by this time--a smart, +lively young fellow, and, what is more, desperately enamored of a +lovely washerwoman. To be successful in your love, as Louis knew, +you must have something more than mere flames and sentiment;--a +washer, or any other woman, cannot live upon sighs only; but must +have new gowns and caps, and a necklace every now and then, and a +few handkerchiefs and silk stockings, and a treat into the country +or to the play. Now, how are all these things to be had without +money? Cartouche saw at once that it was impossible; and as his +father would give him none, he was obliged to look for it +elsewhere. He took to his old courses, and lifted a purse here, +and a watch there; and found, moreover, an accommodating gentleman, +who took the wares off his hands. + +This gentleman introduced him into a very select and agreeable +society, in which Cartouche's merit began speedily to be +recognized, and in which he learnt how pleasant it is in life to +have friends to assist one, and how much may be done by a proper +division of labor. M. Cartouche, in fact, formed part of a regular +company or gang of gentlemen, who were associated together for the +purpose of making war on the public and the law. + +Cartouche had a lovely young sister, who was to be married to a +rich young gentleman from the provinces. As is the fashion in +France, the parents had arranged the match among themselves; and +the young people had never met until just before the time appointed +for the marriage, when the bridegroom came up to Paris with his +title-deeds, and settlements, and money. Now there can hardly be +found in history a finer instance of devotion than Cartouche now +exhibited. He went to his captain, explained the matter to him, +and actually, for the good of his country, as it were (the thieves +might be called his country), sacrificed his sister's husband's +property. Informations were taken, the house of the bridegroom was +reconnoitred, and, one night, Cartouche, in company with some +chosen friends, made his first visit to the house of his brother- +in-law. All the people were gone to bed; and, doubtless, for fear +of disturbing the porter, Cartouche and his companions spared him +the trouble of opening the door, by ascending quietly at the +window. They arrived at the room where the bridegroom kept his +great chest, and set industriously to work, filing and picking the +locks which defended the treasure. + +The bridegroom slept in the next room; but however tenderly +Cartouche and his workmen handled their tools, from fear of +disturbing his slumbers, their benevolent design was disappointed, +for awaken him they did; and quietly slipping out of bed, he came +to a place where he had a complete view of all that was going on. +He did not cry out, or frighten himself sillily; but, on the +contrary, contented himself with watching the countenances of the +robbers, so that he might recognize them on another occasion; and, +though an avaricious man, he did not feel the slightest anxiety +about his money-chest; for the fact is, he had removed all the cash +and papers the day before. + +As soon, however, as they had broken all the locks, and found the +nothing which lay at the bottom of the chest, he shouted with such +a loud voice, "Here, Thomas!--John!--officer!--keep the gate, fire +at the rascals!" that they, incontinently taking fright, skipped +nimbly out of window, and left the house free. + +Cartouche, after this, did not care to meet his brother-in-law, but +eschewed all those occasions on which the latter was to be present +at his father's house. The evening before the marriage came; and +then his father insisted upon his appearance among the other +relatives of the bride's and bridegroom's families, who were all to +assemble and make merry. Cartouche was obliged to yield; and +brought with him one or two of his companions, who had been, by the +way, present in the affair of the empty money-boxes; and though he +never fancied that there was any danger in meeting his brother-in- +law, for he had no idea that he had been seen on the night of the +attack, with a natural modesty, which did him really credit, he +kept out of the young bridegroom's sight as much as he could, and +showed no desire to be presented to him. At supper, however, as he +was sneaking modestly down to a side-table, his father shouted +after him, "Ho, Dominic, come hither, and sit opposite to your +brother-in-law:" which Dominic did, his friends following. The +bridegroom pledged him very gracefully in a bumper; and was in the +act of making him a pretty speech, on the honor of an alliance with +such a family, and on the pleasures of brother-in-lawship in +general, when, looking in his face--ye gods! he saw the very man +who had been filing at his money-chest a few nights ago! By his +side, too, sat a couple more of the gang. The poor fellow turned +deadly pale and sick, and, setting his glass down, ran quickly out +of the room, for he thought he was in company of a whole gang of +robbers. And when he got home, he wrote a letter to the elder +Cartouche, humbly declining any connection with his family. + +Cartouche the elder, of course, angrily asked the reason of such an +abrupt dissolution of the engagement; and then, much to his horror, +heard of his eldest son's doings. "You would not have me marry +into such a family?" said the ex-bridegroom. And old Cartouche, an +honest old citizen, confessed, with a heavy heart, that he would +not. What was he to do with the lad? He did not like to ask for a +lettre de cachet, and shut him up in the Bastile. He determined to +give him a year's discipline at the monastery of St. Lazare. + +But how to catch the young gentleman? Old Cartouche knew that, +were he to tell his son of the scheme, the latter would never obey, +and, therefore, he determined to be very cunning. He told Dominic +that he was about to make a heavy bargain with the fathers, and +should require a witness; so they stepped into a carriage together, +and drove unsuspectingly to the Rue St. Denis. But, when they +arrived near the convent, Cartouche saw several ominous figures +gathering round the coach, and felt that his doom was sealed. +However, he made as if he knew nothing of the conspiracy; and the +carriage drew up, and his father, descended, and, bidding him wait +for a minute in the coach, promised to return to him. Cartouche +looked out; on the other side of the way half a dozen men were +posted, evidently with the intention of arresting him. + +Cartouche now performed a great and celebrated stroke of genius, +which, if he had not been professionally employed in the morning, +he never could have executed. He had in his pocket a piece of +linen, which he had laid hold of at the door of some shop, and from +which he quickly tore three suitable stripes. One he tied round +his head, after the fashion of a nightcap; a second round his +waist, like an apron; and with the third he covered his hat, a +round one, with a large brim. His coat and his periwig lie left +behind him in the carriage; and when he stepped out from it (which +he did without asking the coachman to let down the steps), he bore +exactly the appearance of a cook's boy carrying a dish; and with +this he slipped through the exempts quite unsuspected, and bade +adieu to the Lazarists and his honest father, who came out speedily +to seek him, and was not a little annoyed to find only his coat and +wig. + +With that coat and wig, Cartouche left home, father, friends, +conscience, remorse, society, behind him. He discovered (like a +great number of other philosophers and poets, when they have +committed rascally actions) that the world was all going wrong, and +he quarrelled with it outright. One of the first stories told of +the illustrious Cartouche, when he became professionally and openly +a robber, redounds highly to his credit, and shows that he knew how +to take advantage of the occasion, and how much he had improved in +the course of a very few years' experience. His courage and +ingenuity were vastly admired by his friends; so much so, that, one +day, the captain of the band thought fit to compliment him, and +vowed that when he (the captain) died, Cartouche should infallibly +be called to the command-in-chief. This conversation, so +flattering to Cartouche, was carried on between the two gentlemen, +as they were walking, one night, on the quays by the side of the +Seine. Cartouche, when the captain made the last remark, +blushingly protested against it, and pleaded his extreme youth as +a reason why his comrades could never put entire trust in him. +"Psha, man!" said the captain, "thy youth is in thy favor; thou +wilt live only the longer to lead thy troops to victory. As for +strength, bravery, and cunning, wert thou as old as Methuselah, +thou couldst not be better provided than thou art now, at +eighteen." What was the reply of Monsieur Cartouche? He answered, +not by words, but by actions. Drawing his knife from his girdle, +he instantly dug it into the captain's left side, as near his heart +as possible; and then, seizing that imprudent commander, +precipitated him violently into the waters of the Seine, to keep +company with the gudgeons and river-gods. When he returned to +the band, and recounted how the captain had basely attempted to +assassinate him, and how he, on the contrary, had, by exertion of +superior skill, overcome the captain, not one of the society +believed a word of his history; but they elected him captain +forthwith. I think his Excellency Don Rafael Maroto, the +pacificator of Spain, is an amiable character, for whom history +has not been written in vain. + +Being arrived at this exalted position, there is no end of the +feats which Cartouche performed; and his band reached to such a +pitch of glory, that if there had been a hundred thousand, instead +of a hundred of them, who knows but that a new and popular dynasty +might not have been founded, and "Louis Dominic, premier Empereur +des Francais," might have performed innumerable glorious actions, +and fixed himself in the hearts of his people, just as other +monarchs have done, a hundred years after Cartouche's death. + +A story similar to the above, and equally moral, is that of +Cartouche, who, in company with two other gentlemen, robbed the +coche, or packet-boat, from Melun, where they took a good quantity +of booty,--making the passengers lie down on the decks, and rifling +them at leisure. "This money will be but very little among three," +whispered Cartouche to his neighbor, as the three conquerors were +making merry over their gains; "if you were but to pull the trigger +of your pistol in the neighborhood of your comrade's ear, perhaps +it might go off, and then there would be but two of us to share." +Strangely enough, as Cartouche said, the pistol DID go off, and No. +3 perished. "Give him another ball," said Cartouche; and another +was fired into him. But no sooner had Cartouche's comrade +discharged both his pistols, than Cartouche himself, seized with a +furious indignation, drew his: "Learn, monster," cried he, "not to +be so greedy of gold, and perish, the victim of thy disloyalty and +avarice!" So Cartouche slew the second robber; and there is no man +in Europe who can say that the latter did not merit well his +punishment. + +I could fill volumes, and not mere sheets of paper, with tales of +the triumphs of Cartouche and his band; how he robbed the Countess +of O----, going to Dijon, in her coach, and how the Countess fell +in love with him, and was faithful to him ever after; how, when the +lieutenant of police offered a reward of a hundred pistoles to any +man who would bring Cartouche before him, a noble Marquess, in a +coach and six, drove up to the hotel of the police; and the noble +Marquess, desiring to see Monsieur de la Reynie, on matters of the +highest moment, alone, the latter introduced him into his private +cabinet; and how, when there, the Marquess drew from his pocket a +long, curiously shaped dagger: "Look at this, Monsieur de la +Reynie," said he; "this dagger is poisoned!" + +"Is it possible?" said M. de la Reynie. + +"A prick of it would do for any man," said the Marquess. + +"You don't say so!" said M. de la Reynie. + +"I do, though; and, what is more," says the Marquess, in a terrible +voice, "if you do not instantly lay yourself flat on the ground, +with your face towards it, and your hands crossed over your back, +or if you make the slightest noise or cry, I will stick this +poisoned dagger between your ribs, as sure as my name is Cartouche?" + +At the sound of this dreadful name, M. de la Reynie sunk +incontinently down on his stomach, and submitted to be carefully +gagged and corded; after which Monsieur Cartouche laid his hands +upon all the money which was kept in the lieutenant's cabinet. +Alas! and alas! many a stout bailiff, and many an honest fellow of +a spy, went, for that day, without his pay and his victuals. + +There is a story that Cartouche once took the diligence to Lille, +and found in it a certain Abbe Potter, who was full of indignation +against this monster of a Cartouche, and said that when he went +back to Paris, which he proposed to do in about a fortnight, he +should give the lieutenant of police some information, which would +infallibly lead to the scoundrel's capture. But poor Potter was +disappointed in his designs; for, before he could fulfil them, he +was made the victim of Cartouche's cruelty. + +A letter came to the lieutenant of police, to state that Cartouche +had travelled to Lille, in company with the Abbe de Potter, of that +town; that, on the reverend gentleman's return towards Paris, +Cartouche had waylaid him, murdered him, taken his papers, and +would come to Paris himself, bearing the name and clothes of the +unfortunate Abbe, by the Lille coach, on such a day. The Lille +coach arrived, was surrounded by police agents; the monster +Cartouche was there, sure enough, in the Abbe's guise. He was +seized, bound, flung into prison, brought out to be examined, and, +on examination, found to be no other than the Abbe Potter himself! +It is pleasant to read thus of the relaxations of great men, and +find them condescending to joke like the meanest of us. + +Another diligence adventure is recounted of the famous Cartouche. +It happened that he met, in the coach, a young and lovely lady, +clad in widow's weeds, and bound to Paris, with a couple of +servants. The poor thing was the widow of a rich old gentleman +of Marseilles, and was going to the capital to arrange with her +lawyers, and to settle her husband's will. The Count de Grinche +(for so her fellow-passenger was called) was quite as candid as the +pretty widow had been, and stated that he was a captain in the +regiment of Nivernois; that he was going to Paris to buy a +colonelcy, which his relatives, the Duke de Bouillon, the Prince +de Montmorency, the Commandeur de la Tremoille, with all their +interest at court, could not fail to procure for him. To be short, +in the course of the four days' journey, the Count Louis Dominic de +Grinche played his cards so well, that the poor little widow half +forgot her late husband; and her eyes glistened with tears as the +Count kissed her hand at parting--at parting, he hoped, only for a +few hours. + +Day and night the insinuating Count followed her; and when, at the +end of a fortnight, and in the midst of a tete-a-tete, he plunged, +one morning, suddenly on his knees, and said, Leonora, do you love +me?" the poor thing heaved the gentlest, tenderest, sweetest sigh +in the world; and sinking her blushing head on his shoulder, +whispered, "Oh, Dominic, je t'aime! Ah!" said she, "how noble is +it of my Dominic to take me with the little I have, and he so rich +a nobleman!" The fact is, the old Baron's titles and estates had +passed away to his nephews; his dowager was only left with three +hundred thousand livres, in rentes sur l'etat--a handsome sum, but +nothing to compare to the rent-roll of Count Dominic, Count de la +Grinche, Seigneur de la Haute Pigre, Baron de la Bigorne; he had +estates and wealth which might authorize him to aspire to the hand +of a duchess, at least. + +The unfortunate widow never for a moment suspected the cruel trick +that was about to be played on her; and, at the request of her +affianced husband, sold out her money, and realized it in gold, to +be made over to him on the day when the contract was to be signed. +The day arrived; and, according to the custom in France, the +relations of both parties attended. The widow's relatives, though +respectable, were not of the first nobility, being chiefly persons +of the finance or the robe: there was the president of the court of +Arras, and his lady; a farmer-general; a judge of a court of Paris; +and other such grave and respectable people. As for Monsieur le +Comte de la Grinche, he was not bound for names; and, having the +whole peerage to choose from, brought a host of Montmorencies, +Crequis, De la Tours, and Guises at his back. His homme d'affaires +brought his papers in a sack, and displayed the plans of his +estates, and the titles of his glorious ancestry. The widow's +lawyers had her money in sacks; and between the gold on the one +side, and the parchments on the other, lay the contract which was +to make the widow's three hundred thousand francs the property of +the Count de Grinche. The Count de la Grinche was just about to +sign; when the Marshal de Villars, stepping up to him, said, +"Captain, do you know who the president of the court of Arras, +yonder, is? It is old Manasseh, the fence, of Brussels. I pawned +a gold watch to him, which I stole from Cadogan, when I was with +Malbrook's army in Flanders." + +Here the Duc de la Roche Guyon came forward, very much alarmed. +"Run me through the body!" said his Grace, "but the comptroller- +general's lady, there, is no other than that old hag of a Margoton +who keeps the ----" Here the Duc de la Roche Guyon's voice fell. + +Cartouche smiled graciously, and walked up to the table. He took +up one of the widow's fifteen thousand gold pieces;--it was as +pretty a bit of copper as you could wish to see. "My dear," said +he politely, "there is some mistake here, and this business had +better stop." + +"Count!" gasped the poor widow. + +"Count be hanged!" answered the bridegroom, sternly "my name is +CARTOUCHE!" + + + +ON SOME FRENCH FASHIONABLE NOVELS. + +WITH A PLEA FOR ROMANCES IN GENERAL. + + +There is an old story of a Spanish court painter, who, being +pressed for money, and having received a piece of damask, which he +was to wear in a state procession, pawned the damask, and appeared, +at the show, dressed out in some very fine sheets of paper, which +he had painted so as exactly to resemble silk. Nay, his coat +looked so much richer than the doublets of all the rest, that the +Emperor Charles, in whose honor the procession was given, remarked +the painter, and so his deceit was found out. + +I have often thought that, in respect of sham and real histories, a +similar fact may be noticed; the sham story appearing a great deal +more agreeable, life-like, and natural than the true one: and all +who, from laziness as well as principle, are inclined to follow the +easy and comfortable study of novels, may console themselves with +the notion that they are studying matters quite as important as +history, and that their favorite duodecimos are as instructive as +the biggest quartos in the world. + +If then, ladies, the big-wigs begin to sneer at the course of our +studies, calling our darling romances foolish, trivial, noxious to +the mind, enervators of intellect, fathers of idleness, and what +not, let us at once take a high ground, and say,--Go you to your +own employments, and to such dull studies as you fancy; go and bob +for triangles, from the Pons Asinorum; go enjoy your dull black +draughts of metaphysics; go fumble over history books, and dissert +upon Herodotus and Livy; OUR histories are, perhaps, as true as +yours; our drink is the brisk sparkling champagne drink, from the +presses of Colburn, Bentley and Co.; our walks are over such +sunshiny pleasure-grounds as Scott and Shakspeare have laid out for +us; and if our dwellings are castles in the air, we find them +excessively splendid and commodious;--be not you envious because +you have no wings to fly thither. Let the big-wigs despise us; +such contempt of their neighbors is the custom of all barbarous +tribes;--witness, the learned Chinese: Tippoo Sultaun declared that +there were not in all Europe ten thousand men: the Sklavonic +hordes, it is said, so entitled themselves from a word in their +jargon, which signifies "to speak;" the ruffians imagining that +they had a monopoly of this agreeable faculty, and that all other +nations were dumb. + +Not so: others may be DEAF; but the novelist has a loud, eloquent, +instructive language, though his enemies may despise or deny it +ever so much. What is more, one could, perhaps, meet the stoutest +historian on his own ground, and argue with him; showing that sham +histories were much truer than real histories; which are, in fact, +mere contemptible catalogues of names and places, that can have no +moral effect upon the reader. + +As thus:-- + + + Julius Caesar beat Pompey, at Pharsalia. + The Duke of Marlborough beat Marshal Tallard at Blenheim. + The Constable of Bourbon beat Francis the First, at Pavia. + + +And what have we here?--so many names, simply. Suppose Pharsalia +had been, at that mysterious period when names were given, called +Pavia; and that Julius Caesar's family name had been John +Churchill;--the fact would have stood in history, thus:-- + + + "Pompey ran away from the Duke of Marlborough at Pavia." + + +And why not?--we should have been just as wise. Or it might be +stated that-- + + + "The tenth legion charged the French infantry at Blenheim; and + Caesar, writing home to his mamma, said, 'Madame, tout est perdu + fors l'honneur.'" + + +What a contemptible science this is, then, about which quartos are +written, and sixty-volumed Biographies Universelles, and Lardner's +Cabinet Cyclopaedias, and the like! the facts are nothing in it, the +names everything and a gentleman might as well improve his mind by +learning Walker's "Gazetteer," or getting by heart a fifty-years- +old edition of the "Court Guide." + +Having thus disposed of the historians, let us come to the point in +question--the novelists. + + +On the title-page of these volumes the reader has, doubtless, +remarked, that among the pieces introduced, some are announced as +"copies" and "compositions." Many of the histories have, +accordingly, been neatly stolen from the collections of French +authors (and mutilated, according to the old saying, so that their +owners should not know them) and, for compositions, we intend to +favor the public with some studies of French modern works, that +have not as yet, we believe, attracted the notice of the English +public. + +Of such works there appear many hundreds yearly, as may be seen by +the French catalogues; but the writer has not so much to do with +works political, philosophical, historical, metaphysical, +scientifical, theological, as with those for which he has been +putting forward a plea--novels, namely; on which he has expended a +great deal of time and study. And passing from novels in general +to French novels, let us confess, with much humiliation, that we +borrow from these stories a great deal more knowledge of French +society than from our own personal observation we ever can hope to +gain: for, let a gentleman who has dwelt two, four, or ten years in +Paris (and has not gone thither for the purpose of making a book, +when three weeks are sufficient--let an English gentleman say, at +the end of any given period, how much he knows of French society, +how many French houses he has entered, and how many French friends +he has made?--He has enjoyed, at the end of the year, say-- + + + At the English Ambassador's, so many soirees. + At houses to which he has brought letters, so many tea-parties. + At Cafes, so many dinners. + At French private houses, say three dinners, and very lucky too. + + +He has, we say, seen an immense number of wax candles, cups of tea, +glasses of orgeat, and French people, in best clothes, enjoying the +same; but intimacy there is none; we see but the outsides of the +people. Year by year we live in France, and grow gray, and see no +more. We play ecarte with Monsieur de Trefle every night; but what +know we of the heart of the man--of the inward ways, thoughts, and +customs of Trefle? If we have good legs, and love the amusement, +we dance with Countess Flicflac, Tuesday's and Thursdays, ever +since the Peace; and how far are we advanced in acquaintance with +her since we first twirled her round a room? We know her velvet +gown, and her diamonds (about three-fourths of them are sham, by +the way); we know her smiles, and her simpers, and her rouge--but +no more: she may turn into a kitchen wench at twelve on Thursday +night, for aught we know; her voiture, a pumpkin; and her gens, so +many rats: but the real, rougeless, intime Flicflac, we know not. +This privilege is granted to no Englishman: we may understand the +French language as well as Monsieur de Levizac, but never can +penetrate into Flicflac's confidence: our ways are not her ways; +our manners of thinking, not hers: when we say a good thing, in the +course of the night, we are wondrous lucky and pleased; Flicflac +will trill you off fifty in ten minutes, and wonder at the betise +of the Briton, who has never a word to say. We are married, and +have fourteen children, and would just as soon make love to the +Pope of Rome as to any one but our own wife. If you do not make +love to Flicflac, from the day after her marriage to the day she +reaches sixty, she thinks you a fool. We won't play at ecarte with +Trefle on Sunday nights; and are seen walking, about one o'clock +(accompanied by fourteen red-haired children, with fourteen +gleaming prayer-books), away from the church. "Grand Dieu!" cries +Trefle, "is that man mad? He won't play at cards on a Sunday; he +goes to church on a Sunday: he has fourteen children!" + +Was ever Frenchman known to do likewise? Pass we on to our +argument, which is, that with our English notions and moral and +physical constitution, it is quite impossible that we should become +intimate with our brisk neighbors; and when such authors as Lady +Morgan and Mrs. Trollope, having frequented a certain number of +tea-parties in the French capital, begin to prattle about French +manners and men,--with all respect for the talents of those ladies, +we do believe their information not to be worth a sixpence; they +speak to us not of men but of tea-parties. Tea-parties are the +same all the world over; with the exception that, with the French, +there are more lights and prettier dresses; and with us, a mighty +deal more tea in the pot. + +There is, however, a cheap and delightful way of travelling, that a +man may perform in his easy-chair, without expense of passports or +post-boys. On the wings of a novel, from the next circulating +library, he sends his imagination a-gadding, and gains acquaintance +with people and manners whom he could not hope otherwise to know. +Twopence a volume bears us whithersoever we will;--back to Ivanhoe +and Coeur de Lion, or to Waverley and the Young Pretender, along +with Walter Scott; up the heights of fashion with the charming +enchanters of the silver-fork school; or, better still, to the snug +inn-parlor, or the jovial tap-room, with Mr. Pickwick and his +faithful Sancho Weller. I am sure that a man who, a hundred years +hence should sit down to write the history of our time, would do +wrong to put that great contemporary history of "Pickwick" aside as +a frivolous work. It contains true character under false names; +and, like "Roderick Random," an inferior work, and "Tom Jones" (one +that is immeasurably superior), gives us a better idea of the state +and ways of the people than one could gather from any more pompous +or authentic histories. + +We have, therefore, introduced into these volumes one or two short +reviews of French fiction writers, of particular classes, whose +Paris sketches may give the reader some notion of manners in that +capital. If not original, at least the drawings are accurate; for, +as a Frenchman might have lived a thousand years in England, and +never could have written "Pickwick," an Englishman cannot hope to +give a good description of the inward thoughts and ways of his +neighbors. + +To a person inclined to study these, in that light and amusing +fashion in which the novelist treats them, let us recommend the +works of a new writer, Monsieur de Bernard, who has painted actual +manners, without those monstrous and terrible exaggerations in +which late French writers have indulged; and who, if he +occasionally wounds the English sense of propriety (as what French +man or woman alive will not?) does so more by slighting than by +outraging it, as, with their labored descriptions of all sorts of +imaginable wickedness, some of his brethren of the press have done. +M. de Bernard's characters are men and women of genteel society-- +rascals enough, but living in no state of convulsive crimes; and we +follow him in his lively, malicious account of their manners, +without risk of lighting upon any such horrors as Balzac or Dumas +has provided for us. + +Let us give an instance:--it is from the amusing novel called "Les +Ailes d'Icare," and contains what is to us quite a new picture of a +French fashionable rogue. The fashions will change in a few years, +and the rogue, of course, with them. Let us catch this delightful +fellow ere he flies. It is impossible to sketch the character in a +more sparkling, gentlemanlike way than M. de Bernard's; but such +light things are very difficult of translation, and the sparkle +sadly evaporates during the process of DECANTING. + + +A FRENCH FASHIONABLE LETTER. + +"MY DEAR VICTOR--It is six in the morning: I have just come from +the English Ambassador's ball, and as my plans, for the day do not +admit of my sleeping, I write you a line; for, at this moment, +saturated as I am with the enchantments of a fairy night, all other +pleasures would be too wearisome to keep me awake, except that of +conversing with you. Indeed, were I not to write to you now, when +should I find the possibility of doing so? Time flies here with +such a frightful rapidity, my pleasures and my affairs whirl +onwards together in such a torrentuous galopade, that I am +compelled to seize occasion by the forelock; for each moment has +its imperious employ. Do not then accuse me of negligence: if my +correspondence has not always that regularity which I would fain +give it, attribute the fault solely to the whirlwind in which I +live, and which carries me hither and thither at its will. + +"However, you are not the only person with whom I am behindhand: I +assure you, on the contrary, that you are one of a very numerous +and fashionable company, to whom, towards the discharge of my +debts, I propose to consecrate four hours to-day. I give you the +preference to all the world, even to the lovely Duchess of San +Severino, a delicious Italian, whom, for my special happiness, I +met last summer at the Waters of Aix. I have also a most important +negotiation to conclude with one of our Princes of Finance: but +n'importe, I commence with thee: friendship before love or money-- +friendship before everything. My despatches concluded, I am +engaged to ride with the Marquis de Grigneure, the Comte de +Castijars, and Lord Cobham, in order that we may recover, for a +breakfast at the Rocher de Cancale that Grigneure has lost, the +appetite which we all of us so cruelly abused last night at the +Ambassador's gala. On my honor, my dear fellow, everybody was of a +caprice prestigieux and a comfortable mirobolant. Fancy, for a +banquet-hall, a royal orangery hung with white damask; the boxes of +the shrubs transformed into so many sideboards; lights gleaming +through the foliage; and, for guests, the loveliest women and most +brilliant cavaliers of Paris. Orleans and Nemours were there, +dancing and eating like simple mortals. In a word, Albion did the +thing very handsomely, and I accord it my esteem. + +"Here I pause, to call for my valet-de-chambre, and call for tea; +for my head is heavy, and I've no time for a headache. In serving +me, this rascal of a Frederic has broken a cup, true Japan, upon my +honor--the rogue does nothing else. Yesterday, for instance, did +he not thump me prodigiously, by letting fall a goblet, after +Cellini, of which the carving alone cost me three hundred francs? +I must positively put the wretch out of doors, to ensure the safety +of my furniture; and in consequence of this, Eneas, an audacious +young negro, in whom wisdom hath not waited for years--Eneas, my +groom, I say, will probably be elevated to the post of valet-de- +chambre. But where was I? I think I was speaking to you of an +oyster breakfast, to which, on our return from the Park (du Bois), a +company of pleasant rakes are invited. After quitting Borel's, we +propose to adjourn to the Barriere du Combat, where Lord Cobham +proposes to try some bull-dogs, which he has brought over from +England--one of these, O'Connell (Lord Cobham is a Tory,) has a face +in which I place much confidence; I have a bet of ten louis with +Castijars on the strength of it. After the fight, we shall make our +accustomed appearance at the 'Cafe de Paris,' (the only place, by +the way, where a man who respects himself may be seen,)-- and then +away with frocks and spurs, and on with our dress-coats for the rest +of the evening. In the first place, I shall go doze for a couple of +hours at the Opera, where my presence is indispensable; for Coralie, +a charming creature, passes this evening from the rank of the RATS +to that of the TIGERS, in a pas-de-trois, and our box patronizes +her. After the Opera, I must show my face to two or three salons in +the Faubourg St. Honore; and having thus performed my duties to the +world of fashion, I return to the exercise of my rights as a member +of the Carnival. At two o'clock all the world meets at the Theatre +Ventadour: lions and tigers--the whole of our menagerie will be +present. Evoe! off we go! roaring and bounding Bacchanal and +Saturnal; 'tis agreed that we shall be everything that is low. To +conclude, we sup with Castijars, the most 'furiously dishevelled' +orgy that ever was known." + + +The rest of the letter is on matters of finance, equally curious +and instructive. But pause we for the present, to consider the +fashionable part: and caricature as it is, we have an accurate +picture of the actual French dandy. Bets, breakfasts, riding, +dinners at the "Cafe de Paris," and delirious Carnival balls: the +animal goes through all such frantic pleasures at the season that +precedes Lent. He has a wondrous respect for English "gentlemen- +sportsmen;" he imitates their clubs--their love of horse-flesh: he +calls his palefrenier a groom, wears blue birds's-eye neck-cloths, +sports his pink out hunting, rides steeple-chases, and has his +Jockey Club. The "tigers and lions" alluded to in the report have +been borrowed from our own country, and a great compliment is it to +Monsieur de Bernard, the writer of the above amusing sketch, that +he has such a knowledge of English names and things, as to give a +Tory lord the decent title of Lord Cobham, and to call his dog +O'Connell. Paul de Kock calls an English nobleman, in one of his +last novels, Lord Boulingrog, and appears vastly delighted at the +verisimilitude of the title. + +For the "rugissements et bondissements, bacchanale et saturnale, +galop infernal, ronde du sabbat tout le tremblement," these words +give a most clear, untranslatable idea of the Carnival ball. A +sight more hideous can hardly strike a man's eye. I was present at +one where the four thousand guests whirled screaming, reeling, +roaring, out of the ball-room in the Rue St. Honore, and tore down +to the column in the Place Vendome, round which they went shrieking +their own music, twenty miles an hour, and so tore madly back +again. Let a man go alone to such a place of amusement, and the +sight for him is perfectly terrible: the horrid frantic gayety of +the place puts him in mind more of the merriment of demons than of +men: bang, bang, drums, trumpets, chairs, pistol-shots, pour out of +the orchestra, which seems as mad as the dancers; whiz, a whirlwind +of paint and patches, all the costumes under the sun, all the ranks +in the empire, all the he and she scoundrels of the capital, +writhed and twisted together, rush by you; if a man falls, woe be +to him: two thousand screaming menads go trampling over his +carcass: they have neither power nor will to stop. + +A set of Malays drunk with bhang and running amuck, a company of +howling dervishes, may possibly, in our own day, go through similar +frantic vagaries; but I doubt if any civilized European people but +the French would permit and enjoy such scenes. Yet our neighbors +see little shame in them; and it is very true that men of all +classes, high and low, here congregate and give themselves up to +the disgusting worship of the genius of the place.--From the dandy +of the Boulevard and the "Cafe Anglais," let us turn to the dandy +of "Flicoteau's" and the Pays Latin--the Paris student, whose +exploits among the grisettes are so celebrated, and whose fierce +republicanism keeps gendarmes for ever on the alert. The following +is M. de Bernard's description of him:-- + + +"I became acquainted with Dambergeac when we were students at the +Ecole de Droit; we lived in the same Hotel on the Place du +Pantheon. No doubt, madam, you have occasionally met little +children dedicated to the Virgin, and, to this end, clothed in +white raiment from head to foot: my friend, Dambergeac, had +received a different consecration. His father, a great patriot of +the Revolution, had determined that his son should bear into the +world a sign of indelible republicanism; so, to the great +displeasure of his godmother and the parish curate, Dambergeac was +christened by the pagan name of Harmodius. It was a kind of moral +tricolor-cockade, which the child was to bear through the +vicissitudes of all the revolutions to come. Under such +influences, my friend's character began to develop itself, and, +fired by the example of his father, and by the warm atmosphere of +his native place, Marseilles, he grew up to have an independent +spirit, and a grand liberality of politics, which were at their +height when first I made his acquaintance. + +"He was then a young man of eighteen, with a tall, slim figure, a +broad chest, and a flaming black eye, out of all which personal +charms he knew how to draw the most advantage; and though his +costume was such as Staub might probably have criticised, he had, +nevertheless, a style peculiar to himself--to himself and the +students, among whom he was the leader of the fashion. A tight +black coat, buttoned up to the chin, across the chest, set off that +part of his person; a low-crowned hat, with a voluminous rim, cast +solemn shadows over a countenance bronzed by a southern sun: he +wore, at one time, enormous flowing black locks, which he sacrificed +pitilessly, however, and adopted a Brutus, as being more +revolutionary: finally, he carried an enormous club, that was his +code and digest: in like manner, De Retz used to carry a stiletto in +his pocket by way of a breviary. + +"Although of different ways of thinking in politics, certain +sympathies of character and conduct united Dambergeac and myself, +and we speedily became close friends. I don't think, in the whole +course of his three years' residence, Dambergeac ever went through +a single course of lectures. For the examinations, he trusted to +luck, and to his own facility, which was prodigious: as for honors, +he never aimed at them, but was content to do exactly as little as +was necessary for him to gain his degree. In like manner he +sedulously avoided those horrible circulating libraries, where +daily are seen to congregate the 'reading men' of our schools. +But, in revenge, there was not a milliner's shop, or a lingere's, +in all our quartier Latin, which he did not industriously frequent, +and of which he was not the oracle. Nay, it was said that his +victories were not confined to the left bank of the Seine; reports +did occasionally come to us of fabulous adventures by him +accomplished in the far regions of the Rue de la Paix and the +Boulevard Poissonniere. Such recitals were, for us less favored +mortals, like tales of Bacchus conquering in the East; they excited +our ambition, but not our jealousy; for the superiority of +Harmodius was acknowledged by us all, and we never thought of a +rivalry with him. No man ever cantered a hack through the Champs +Elysees with such elegant assurance; no man ever made such a +massacre of dolls at the shooting-gallery; or won you a rubber at +billiards with more easy grace; or thundered out a couplet out of +Beranger with such a roaring melodious bass. He was the monarch of +the Prado in winter: in summer of the Chaumiere and Mont Parnasse. +Not a frequenter of those fashionable places of entertainment +showed a more amiable laisser-aller in the dance--that peculiar +dance at which gendarmes think proper to blush, and which squeamish +society has banished from her salons. In a word, Harmodius was the +prince of mauvais sujets, a youth with all the accomplishments of +Gottingen and Jena, and all the eminent graces of his own country. + +"Besides dissipation and gallantry, our friend had one other vast +and absorbing occupation--politics, namely; in which he was as +turbulent and enthusiastic as in pleasure. La Patrie was his idol, +his heaven, his nightmare; by day he spouted, by night he dreamed, +of his country. I have spoken to you of his coiffure a la Sylla; +need I mention his pipe, his meerschaum pipe, of which General +Foy's head was the bowl; his handkerchief with the Charte printed +thereon; and his celebrated tricolor braces, which kept the +rallying sign of his country ever close to his heart? Besides +these outward and visible signs of sedition, he had inward and +secret plans of revolution: he belonged to clubs, frequented +associations, read the Constitutionnel (Liberals, in those days, +swore by the Constitutionnel), harangued peers and deputies who had +deserved well of their country; and if death happened to fall on +such, and the Constitutionnel declared their merit, Harmodius was +the very first to attend their obsequies, or to set his shoulder to +their coffins. + +"Such were his tastes and passions: his antipathies were not less +lively. He detested three things: a Jesuit, a gendarme, and a +claqueur at a theatre. At this period, missionaries were rife +about Paris, and endeavored to re-illume the zeal of the faithful +by public preachings in the churches. 'Infames jesuites!' would +Harmodius exclaim, who, in the excess of his toleration, tolerated +nothing; and, at the head of a band of philosophers like himself, +would attend with scrupulous exactitude the meetings of the +reverend gentlemen. But, instead of a contrite heart, Harmodius +only brought the abomination of desolation into their sanctuary. A +perpetual fire of fulminating balls would bang from under the feet +of the faithful; odors of impure assafoetida would mingle with the +fumes of the incense; and wicked drinking choruses would rise up +along with the holy canticles, in hideous dissonance, reminding one +of the old orgies under the reign of the Abbot of Unreason. + +"His hatred of the gendarmes was equally ferocious: and as for the +claqueurs, woe be to them when Harmodius was in the pit! They knew +him, and trembled before him, like the earth before Alexander; and +his famous war-cry, 'La Carte au chapeau!' was so much dreaded, +that the 'entrepreneurs de succes dramatiques' demanded twice as +much to do the Odeon Theatre (which we students and Harmodius +frequented), as to applaud at any other place of amusement: and, +indeed, their double pay was hardly gained; Harmodius taking care +that they should earn the most of it under the benches." + + +This passage, with which we have taken some liberties, will give +the reader a more lively idea of the reckless, jovial, turbulent +Paris student, than any with which a foreigner could furnish him: +the grisette is his heroine; and dear old Beranger, the cynic- +epicurean, has celebrated him and her in the most delightful verses +in the world. Of these we may have occasion to say a word or two +anon. Meanwhile let us follow Monsieur de Bernard in his amusing +descriptions of his countrymen somewhat farther; and, having seen +how Dambergeac was a ferocious republican, being a bachelor, let us +see how age, sense, and a little government pay--the great agent of +conversions in France--nay, in England--has reduced him to be a +pompous, quiet, loyal supporter of the juste milieu: his former +portrait was that of the student, the present will stand for an +admirable lively likeness of + + +THE SOUS-PREFET. + + +"Saying that I would wait for Dambergeac in his own study, I was +introduced into that apartment, and saw around me the usual +furniture of a man in his station. There was, in the middle of the +room, a large bureau, surrounded by orthodox arm-chairs; and there +were many shelves with boxes duly ticketed; there were a number of +maps, and among them a great one of the department over which +Dambergeac ruled; and facing the windows, on a wooden pedestal, +stood a plaster-cast of the 'Roi des Francais.' Recollecting my +friend's former republicanism, I smiled at this piece of furniture; +but before I had time to carry my observations any farther, a heavy +rolling sound of carriage-wheels, that caused the windows to rattle +and seemed to shake the whole edifice of the sub-prefecture, called +my attention to the court without. Its iron gates were flung open, +and in rolled, with a great deal of din, a chariot escorted by a +brace of gendarmes, sword in hand. A tall gentleman, with a +cocked-hat and feathers, wearing a blue and silver uniform coat, +descended from the vehicle; and having, with much grave +condescension, saluted his escort, mounted the stair. A moment +afterwards the door of the study was opened, and I embraced my +friend. + +"After the first warmth and salutations, we began to examine each +other with an equal curiosity, for eight years had elapsed since we +had last met. + +"'You are grown very thin and pale,' said Harmodius, after a +moment. + +"'In revenge I find you fat and rosy: if I am a walking satire on +celibacy,--you, at least, are a living panegyric on marriage.' + +"In fact a great change, and such an one as many people would call +a change for the better, had taken place in my friend: he had grown +fat, and announced a decided disposition to become what French +people call a bel homme: that is, a very fat one. His complexion, +bronzed before, was now clear white and red: there were no more +political allusions in his hair, which was, on the contrary, neatly +frizzed, and brushed over the forehead, shell-shape. This head- +dress, joined to a thin pair of whiskers, cut crescent-wise from +the ear to the nose, gave my friend a regular bourgeois +physiognomy, wax-doll-like: he looked a great deal too well; and, +added to this, the solemnity of his prefectural costume, gave his +whole appearance a pompous well-fed look that by no means pleased. + +"'I surprise you,' said I, 'in the midst of your splendor: do you +know that this costume and yonder attendants have a look +excessively awful and splendid? You entered your palace just now +with the air of a pasha.' + +"'You see me in uniform in honor of Monseigneur the Bishop, who has +just made his diocesan visit, and whom I have just conducted to the +limit of the arrondissement.' + +"'What!' said I, 'you have gendarmes for guards, and dance +attendance on bishops? There are no more janissaries and Jesuits, +I suppose?' The sub-prefect smiled. + +"'I assure you that my gendarmes are very worthy fellows; and that +among the gentlemen who compose our clergy there are some of the +very best rank and talent: besides, my wife is niece to one of the +vicars-general.' + +"'What have you done with that great Tasso beard that poor +Armandine used to love so?' + +"'My wife does not like a beard; and you know that what is +permitted to a student is not very becoming to a magistrate.' + +"I began to laugh. 'Harmodius and a magistrate!--how shall I ever +couple the two words together? But tell me, in your correspondences, +your audiences, your sittings with village mayors and petty councils, +how do you manage to remain awake?' + +"'In the commencement,' said Harmodius, gravely, 'it WAS very +difficult; and, in order to keep my eyes open, I used to stick pins +into my legs: now, however, I am used to it; and I'm sure I don't +take more than fifty pinches of snuff at a sitting.' + +"'Ah! apropos of snuff: you are near Spain here, and were always a +famous smoker. Give me a cigar,--it will take away the musty odor +of these piles of papers.' + +"'Impossible, my dear; I don't smoke; my wife cannot bear a cigar.' + +"His wife! thought I; always his wife: and I remember Juliette, who +really grew sick at the smell of a pipe, and Harmodius would smoke, +until, at last, the poor thing grew to smoke herself, like a +trooper. To compensate, however, as much as possible for the loss +of my cigar, Dambergeac drew from his pocket an enormous gold +snuff-box, on which figured the self-same head that I had before +remarked in plaster, but this time surrounded with a ring of pretty +princes and princesses, all nicely painted in miniature. As for +the statue of Louis Philippe, that, in the cabinet of an official, +is a thing of course; but the snuff-box seemed to indicate a degree +of sentimental and personal devotion, such as the old Royalists +were only supposed to be guilty of. + +"'What! you are turned decided juste milieu?' said I. + +"'I am a sous-prefet,' answered Harmodius. + +"I had nothing to say, but held my tongue, wondering, not at the +change which had taken place in the habits, manners, and opinions +of my friend, but at my own folly, which led me to fancy that I +should find the student of '26 in the functionary of '34. At this +moment a domestic appeared. + +"'Madame is waiting for Monsieur,' said he: 'the last bell has +gone, and mass beginning.' + +"'Mass!' said I, bounding up from my chair. 'You at mass like a +decent serious Christian, without crackers in your pocket, and +bored keys to whistle through?'--The sous-prefet rose, his +countenance was calm, and an indulgent smile played upon his lips, +as he said, 'My arrondissement is very devout; and not to interfere +with the belief of the population is the maxim of every wise +politician: I have precise orders from Government on the point, +too, and go to eleven o'clock mass every Sunday."' + + +There is a great deal of curious matter for speculation in the +accounts here so wittily given by M. de Bernard: but, perhaps, it +is still more curious to think of what he has NOT written, and to +judge of his characters, not so much by the words in which he +describes them, as by the unconscious testimony that the words all +together convey. In the first place, our author describes a +swindler imitating the manners of a dandy; and many swindlers and +dandies be there, doubtless, in London as well as in Paris. But +there is about the present swindler, and about Monsieur Dambergeac +the student, and Monsieur Dambergeac the sous-prefet, and his +friend, a rich store of calm internal debauch, which does not, let +us hope and pray, exist in England. Hearken to M. de Gustan, and +his smirking whispers, about the Duchess of San Severino, who pour +son bonheur particulier, &c. &c. Listen to Monsieur Dambergeac's +friend's remonstrances concerning pauvre Juliette who grew sick at +the smell of a pipe; to his naive admiration at the fact that the +sous-prefet goes to church: and we may set down, as axioms, that +religion is so uncommon among the Parisians, as to awaken the +surprise of all candid observers; that gallantry is so common as to +create no remark, and to be considered as a matter of course. With +us, at least, the converse of the proposition prevails: it is the +man professing irreligion who would be remarked and reprehended in +England; and, if the second-named vice exists, at any rate, it +adopts the decency of secrecy and is not made patent and notorious +to all the world. A French gentleman thinks no more of proclaiming +that he has a mistress than that he has a tailor; and one lives the +time of Boccaccio over again, in the thousand and one French novels +which depict society in that country. + +For instance, here are before us a few specimens (do not, madam, be +alarmed, you can skip the sentence if you like,) to be found in as +many admirable witty tales, by the before-lauded Monsieur de +Bernard. He is more remarkable than any other French author, to +our notion, for writing like a gentleman: there is ease, grace and +ton, in his style, which, if we judge aright, cannot be discovered +in Balzac, or Soulie, or Dumas. We have then--"Gerfaut," a novel: +a lovely creature is married to a brave, haughty, Alsacian +nobleman, who allows her to spend her winters at Paris, he +remaining on his terres, cultivating, carousing, and hunting the +boar. The lovely-creature meets the fascinating Gerfaut at Paris; +instantly the latter makes love to her; a duel takes place: baron +killed; wife throws herself out of window; Gerfaut plunges into +dissipation; and so the tale ends. + +Next: "La Femme de Quarante Ans," a capital tale, full of exquisite +fun and sparkling satire: La femme de quarante ans has a husband +and THREE lovers; all of whom find out their mutual connection one +starry night; for the lady of forty is of a romantic poetical turn, +and has given her three admirers A STAR APIECE; saying to one and +the other, "Alphonse, when yon pale orb rises in heaven, think of +me;" "Isadore, when that bright planet sparkles in the sky, +remember your Caroline," &c. + +"Un Acte de Vertu," from which we have taken Dambergeac's history, +contains him, the husband--a wife--and a brace of lovers; and a +great deal of fun takes place in the manner in which one lover +supplants the other.--Pretty morals truly! + +If we examine an author who rejoices in the aristocratic name of le +Comte Horace de Viel-Castel, we find, though with infinitely less +wit, exactly the same intrigues going on. A noble Count lives in +the Faubourg St. Honore, and has a noble Duchess for a mistress: he +introduces her Grace to the Countess his wife. The Countess his +wife, in order to ramener her lord to his conjugal duties, is +counselled, by a friend, TO PRETEND TO TAKE A LOVER: one is found, +who, poor fellow! takes the affair in earnest: climax--duel, death, +despair, and what not? In the "Faubourg St. Germain," another +novel by the same writer, which professes to describe the very pink +of that society which Napoleon dreaded more than Russia, Prussia, +and Austria, there is an old husband, of course; a sentimental +young German nobleman, who falls in love with his wife; and the +moral of the piece lies in the showing up of the conduct of the +lady, who is reprehended--not for deceiving her husband (poor +devil!)--but for being a flirt, AND TAKING A SECOND LOVER, to the +utter despair, confusion, and annihilation of the first. + +Why, ye gods, do Frenchmen marry at all? Had Pere Enfantin (who, +it is said, has shaved his ambrosial beard, and is now a clerk in a +banking-house) been allowed to carry out his chaste, just, +dignified social scheme, what a deal of marital discomfort might +have been avoided:--would it not be advisable that a great reformer +and lawgiver of our own, Mr. Robert Owen, should be presented at +the Tuileries, and there propound his scheme for the regeneration +of France? + +He might, perhaps, be spared, for our country is not yet sufficiently +advanced to give such a philosopher fair play. In London, as yet, +there are no blessed Bureaux de Mariage, where an old bachelor may +have a charming young maiden--for his money; or a widow of seventy +may buy a gay young fellow of twenty, for a certain number of +bank-billets. If mariages de convenance take place here (as they +will wherever avarice, and poverty, and desire, and yearning after +riches are to be found), at least, thank God, such unions are not +arranged upon a regular organized SYSTEM: there is a fiction of +attachment with us, and there is a consolation in the deceit ("the +homage," according to the old mot of Rochefoucauld) "which vice pays +to virtue"; for the very falsehood shows that the virtue exists +somewhere. We once heard a furious old French colonel inveighing +against the chastity of English demoiselles: "Figurez-vous, sir," +said he (he had been a prisoner in England), "that these women come +down to dinner in low dresses, and walk out alone with the men!"-- +and, pray heaven, so may they walk, fancy-free in all sorts of +maiden meditations, and suffer no more molestation than that young +lady of whom Moore sings, and who (there must have been a famous +lord-lieutenant in those days) walked through all Ireland, with rich +and rare gems, beauty, and a gold ring on her stick, without meeting +or thinking of harm. + +Now, whether Monsieur de Viel-Castel has given a true picture of +the Faubourg St. Germain, it is impossible for most foreigners to +say; but some of his descriptions will not fail to astonish the +English reader; and all are filled with that remarkable naif +contempt of the institution called marriage, which we have seen in +M. de Bernard. The romantic young nobleman of Westphalia arrives +at Paris, and is admitted into what a celebrated female author +calls la creme de la creme de la haute volee of Parisian society. +He is a youth of about twenty years of age. "No passion had as yet +come to move his heart, and give life to his faculties; he was +awaiting and fearing the moment of love; calling for it, and yet +trembling at its approach; feeling in the depths of his soul, that +that moment would create a mighty change in his being, and decide, +perhaps, by its influence, the whole of his future life." + +Is it not remarkable, that a young nobleman, with these ideas, +should not pitch upon a demoiselle, or a widow, at least? but no, +the rogue must have a married woman, bad luck to him; and what his +fate is to be, is thus recounted by our author, in the shape of + + +A FRENCH FASHIONABLE CONVERSATION. + + +"A lady, with a great deal of esprit, to whom forty years' +experience of the great world had given a prodigious perspicacity +of judgment, the Duchess of Chalux, arbitress of the opinion to be +held on all new comers to the Faubourg Saint Germain, and of their +destiny and reception in it;--one of those women, in a word, who +make or ruin a man,--said, in speaking of Gerard de Stolberg, whom +she received at her own house, and met everywhere, 'This young +German will never gain for himself the title of an exquisite, or a +man of bonnes fortunes, among us. In spite of his calm and +politeness, I think I can see in his character some rude and +insurmountable difficulties, which time will only increase, and +which will prevent him for ever from bending to the exigencies of +either profession; but, unless I very much deceive myself, he will, +one day, be the hero of a veritable romance.' + +"'He, madame?' answered a young man, of fair complexion and fair +hair, one of the most devoted slaves of the fashion:--'He, Madame +la Duchesse? why, the man is, at best, but an original, fished out +of the Rhine: a dull, heavy creature, as much capable of +understanding a woman's heart as I am of speaking bas-Breton.' + +"'Well, Monsieur de Belport, you will speak bas-Breton. Monsieur +de Stolberg has not your admirable ease of manner, nor your +facility of telling pretty nothings, nor your--in a word, that +particular something which makes you the most recherche man of the +Faubourg Saint Germain; and even I avow to you that, were I still +young, and a coquette, AND THAT I TOOK IT INTO MY HEAD TO HAVE A +LOVER, I would prefer you.' + +"All this was said by the Duchess, with a certain air of raillery +and such a mixture of earnest and malice, that Monsieur de Belport, +piqued not a little, could not help saying, as he bowed profoundly +before the Duchess's chair, 'And might I, madam, be permitted to +ask the reason of this preference?' + +"'O mon Dieu, oui,' said the Duchess, always in the same tone; +'because a lover like you would never think of carrying his +attachment to the height of passion; and these passions, do you +know, have frightened me all my life. One cannot retreat at will +from the grasp of a passionate lover; one leaves behind one some +fragment of one's moral SELF, or the best part of one's physical +life. A passion, if it does not kill you, adds cruelly to your +years; in a word, it is the very lowest possible taste. And now +you understand why I should prefer you, M. de Belport--you who are +reputed to be the leader of the fashion.' + +"'Perfectly,' murmured the gentleman, piqued more and more. + +"'Gerard de Stolberg WILL be passionate. I don't know what woman +will please him, or will be pleased by him' (here the Duchess of +Chalux spoke more gravely); 'but his love will be no play, I repeat +it to you once more. All this astonishes you, because you, great +leaders of the ton that you are, never fancy that a hero of romance +should be found among your number. Gerard de Stolberg--but, look, +here he comes!' + +"M. de Belport rose, and quitted the Duchess, without believing in +her prophecy; but he could not avoid smiling as he passed near the +HERO OF ROMANCE. + +"It was because M. de Stolberg had never, in all his life, been a +hero of romance, or even an apprentice-hero of romance. + + +"Gerard de Stolberg was not, as yet, initiated into the thousand +secrets in the chronicle of the great world: he knew but +superficially the society in which he lived; and, therefore, he +devoted his evening to the gathering of all the information which +he could acquire from the indiscreet conversations of the people +about him. His whole man became ear and memory; so much was +Stolberg convinced of the necessity of becoming a diligent student +in this new school, where was taught the art of knowing and +advancing in the great world. In the recess of a window he learned +more on this one night than months of investigation would have +taught him. The talk of a ball is more indiscreet than the +confidential chatter of a company of idle women. No man present at +a ball, whether listener or speaker, thinks he has a right to +affect any indulgence for his companions, and the most learned in +malice will always pass for the most witty. + +"'How!' said the Viscount de Mondrage: 'the Duchess of Rivesalte +arrives alone to-night, without her inevitable Dormilly!'--And the +Viscount, as he spoke, pointed towards a tall and slender young +woman, who, gliding rather than walking, met the ladies by whom she +passed, with a graceful and modest salute, and replied to the looks +of the men BY BRILLIANT VEILED GLANCES FULL OF COQUETRY AND ATTACK. + +"'Parbleu!' said an elegant personage standing near the Viscount de +Mondrage, 'don't you see Dormilly ranged behind the Duchess, in +quality of train-bearer, and hiding, under his long locks and his +great screen of moustaches, the blushing consciousness of his good +luck?--They call him THE FOURTH CHAPTER of the Duchess's memoirs. +The little Marquise d'Alberas is ready to die out of spite; but the +best of the joke is, that she has only taken poor de Vendre for a +lover in order to vent her spleen on him. Look at him against the +chimney yonder; if the Marchioness do not break at once with him by +quitting him for somebody else, the poor fellow will turn an idiot.' + +"'Is he jealous?' asked a young man, looking as if he did not know +what jealousy was and as if he had no time to be jealous. + +"'Jealous! the very incarnation of jealousy; the second edition, +revised, corrected, and considerably enlarged; as jealous as poor +Gressigny, who is dying of it.' + +"'What! Gressigny too? why, 'tis growing quite into fashion: +egad! I must try and be jealous,' said Monsieur de Beauval. 'But +see! here comes the delicious Duchess of Bellefiore,'" &c. &c. &c. + + +Enough, enough: this kind of fashionable Parisian conversation, +which is, says our author, "a prodigious labor of improvising," a +"chef-d'oeuvre," a "strange and singular thing, in which monotony +is unknown," seems to be, if correctly reported, a "strange and +singular thing" indeed; but somewhat monotonous at least to an +English reader, and "prodigious" only, if we may take leave to say +so, for the wonderful rascality which all the conversationists +betray. Miss Neverout and the Colonel, in Swift's famous dialogue, +are a thousand times more entertaining and moral; and, besides, we +can laugh AT those worthies as well as with them; whereas the +"prodigious" French wits are to us quite incomprehensible. Fancy a +duchess as old as Lady ---- herself, and who should begin to tell +us "of what she would do if ever she had a mind to take a lover;" +and another duchess, with a fourth lover, tripping modestly among +the ladies, and returning the gaze of the men by veiled glances, +full of coquetry and attack!--Parbleu, if Monsieur de Viel-Castel +should find himself among a society of French duchesses, and they +should tear his eyes out, and send the fashionable Orpheus floating +by the Seine, his slaughter might almost be considered as +justifiable COUNTICIDE. + + + + +A GAMBLER'S DEATH. + + +Anybody who was at C---- school some twelve years since, must +recollect Jack Attwood: he was the most dashing lad in the place, +with more money in his pocket than belonged to the whole fifth form +in which we were companions. + +When he was about fifteen, Jack suddenly retreated from C----, and +presently we heard that he had a commission in a cavalry regiment, +and was to have a great fortune from his father, when that old +gentleman should die. Jack himself came to confirm these stories a +few months after, and paid a visit to his old school chums. He had +laid aside his little school-jacket and inky corduroys, and now +appeared in such a splendid military suit as won the respect of all +of us. His hair was dripping with oil, his hands were covered with +rings, he had a dusky down over his upper lip which looked not +unlike a moustache, and a multiplicity of frogs and braiding on his +surtout which would have sufficed to lace a field-marshal. When +old Swishtail, the usher, passed in his seedy black coat and +gaiters, Jack gave him such a look of contempt as set us all a- +laughing: in fact it was his turn to laugh now; for he used to roar +very stoutly some months before, when Swishtail was in the custom +of belaboring him with his great cane. + +Jack's talk was all about the regiment and the fine fellows in it: +how he had ridden a steeple-chase with Captain Boldero, and licked +him at the last hedge; and how he had very nearly fought a duel +with Sir George Grig, about dancing with Lady Mary Slamken at a +ball. "I soon made the baronet know what it was to deal with a man +of the n--th," said Jack. "Dammee, sir, when I lugged out my +barkers, and talked of fighting across the mess-room table, Grig +turned as pale as a sheet, or as--" + +"Or as you used to do, Attwood, when Swishtail hauled you up," +piped out little Hicks, the foundation-boy. + +It was beneath Jack's dignity to thrash anybody, now, but a grown- +up baronet; so he let off little Hicks, and passed over the general +titter which was raised at his expense. However, he entertained us +with his histories about lords and ladies, and so-and-so "of ours," +until we thought him one of the greatest men in his Majesty's +service, and until the school-bell rung; when, with a heavy heart, +we got our books together, and marched in to be whacked by old +Swishtail. I promise you he revenged himself on us for Jack's +contempt of him. I got that day at least twenty cuts to my share, +which ought to have belonged to Cornet Attwood, of the n--th +dragoons. + +When we came to think more coolly over our quondam schoolfellow's +swaggering talk and manner, we were not quite so impressed by his +merits as at his first appearance among us. We recollected how he +used, in former times, to tell us great stories, which were so +monstrously improbable that the smallest boy in the school would +scout them; how often we caught him tripping in facts, and how +unblushingly he admitted his little errors in the score of +veracity. He and I, though never great friends, had been close +companions: I was Jack's form-fellow (we fought with amazing +emulation for the LAST place in the class); but still I was rather +hurt at the coolness of my old comrade, who had forgotten all our +former intimacy, in his steeple-chases with Captain Boldero and his +duel with Sir George Grig. + +Nothing more was heard of Attwood for some years; a tailor one day +came down to C----, who had made clothes for Jack in his school- +days, and furnished him with regimentals: he produced a long bill +for one hundred and twenty pounds and upwards, and asked where news +might be had of his customer. Jack was in India, with his +regiment, shooting tigers and jackals, no doubt. Occasionally, +from that distant country, some magnificent rumor would reach us of +his proceedings. Once I heard that he had been called to a court- +martial for unbecoming conduct; another time, that he kept twenty +horses, and won the gold plate at the Calcutta races. Presently, +however, as the recollections of the fifth form wore away, Jack's +image disappeared likewise, and I ceased to ask or think about my +college chum. + +A year since, as I was smoking my cigar in the "Estaminet du Grand +Balcon," an excellent smoking-shop, where the tobacco is +unexceptionable, and the Hollands of singular merit, a dark- +looking, thick-set man, in a greasy well-cut coat, with a shabby +hat, cocked on one side of his dirty face, took the place opposite +me, at the little marble table, and called for brandy. I did not +much admire the impudence or the appearance of my friend, nor the +fixed stare with which he chose to examine me. At last, he thrust +a great greasy hand across the table, and said, "Titmarsh, do you +forget your old friend Attwood?" + +I confess my recognition of him was not so joyful as on the day ten +years earlier, when he had come, bedizened with lace and gold +rings, to see us at C---- school: a man in the tenth part of a +century learns a deal of worldly wisdom, and his hand, which goes +naturally forward to seize the gloved finger of a millionnaire, or +a milor, draws instinctively back from a dirty fist, encompassed by +a ragged wristband and a tattered cuff. But Attwood was in nowise +so backward; and the iron squeeze with which he shook my passive +paw, proved that he was either very affectionate or very poor. +You, my dear sir, who are reading this history, know very well the +great art of shaking hands: recollect how you shook Lord Dash's +hand the other day, and how you shook OFF poor Blank, when he came +to borrow five pounds of you. + +However, the genial influence of the Hollands speedily dissipated +anything like coolness between us and, in the course of an hour's +conversation, we became almost as intimate as when we were +suffering together under the ferule of old Swishtail. Jack told me +that he had quitted the army in disgust; and that his father, who +was to leave him a fortune, had died ten thousand pounds in debt: +he did not touch upon his own circumstances; but I could read them +in his elbows, which were peeping through his old frock. He talked +a great deal, however, of runs of luck, good and bad; and related +to me an infallible plan for breaking all the play-banks in Europe-- +a great number of old tricks;--and a vast quantity of gin-punch +was consumed on the occasion; so long, in fact, did our conversation +continue, that, I confess it with shame, the sentiment, or something +stronger, quite got the better of me, and I have, to this day, no +sort of notion how our palaver concluded.--Only, on the next +morning, I did not possess a certain five-pound note which on the +previous evening was in my sketch-book (by far the prettiest drawing +by the way in the collection) but there, instead, was a strip of +paper, thus inscribed:-- + + +IOU +Five Pounds. JOHN ATTWOOD, +Late of the N--th Dragoons. + + +I suppose Attwood borrowed the money, from this remarkable and +ceremonious acknowledgment on his part: had I been sober I would +just as soon have lent him the nose on my face; for, in my then +circumstances, the note was of much more consequence to me. + +As I lay, cursing my ill fortune, and thinking how on earth I +should manage to subsist for the next two months, Attwood burst +into my little garret--his face strangely flushed--singing and +shouting as if it had been the night before. "Titmarsh," cried he, +"you are my preserver!--my best friend! Look here, and here, and +here!" And at every word Mr. Attwood produced a handful of gold, +or a glittering heap of five-franc pieces, or a bundle of greasy, +dusky bank-notes, more beautiful than either silver or gold:--he +had won thirteen thousand francs after leaving me at midnight in my +garret. He separated my poor little all, of six pieces, from this +shining and imposing collection; and the passion of envy entered my +soul: I felt far more anxious now than before, although starvation +was then staring me in the face; I hated Attwood for CHEATING me +out of all this wealth. Poor fellow! it had been better for him +had he never seen a shilling of it. + +However, a grand breakfast at the Cafe Anglais dissipated my +chagrin; and I will do my friend the justice to say, that he nobly +shared some portion of his good fortune with me. As far as the +creature comforts were concerned I feasted as well as he, and never +was particular as to settling my share of the reckoning. + +Jack now changed his lodgings; had cards, with Captain Attwood +engraved on them, and drove about a prancing cab-horse, as tall as +the giraffe at the Jardin des Plantes; he had as many frogs on his +coat as in the old days, and frequented all the flash restaurateurs' +and boarding-houses of the capital. Madame de Saint Laurent, and +Madame la Baronne de Vaudrey, and Madame la Comtesse de Jonville, +ladies of the highest rank, who keep a societe choisie and +condescend to give dinners at five-francs a head, vied with each +other in their attentions to Jack. His was the wing of the fowl, +and the largest portion of the Charlotte-Russe; his was the place at +the ecarte table, where the Countess would ease him nightly of a few +pieces, declaring that he was the most charming cavalier, la fleur +d'Albion. Jack's society, it may be seen, was not very select; nor, +in truth, were his inclinations: he was a careless, daredevil, +Macheath kind of fellow, who might be seen daily with a wife on each +arm. + +It may be supposed that, with the life he led, his five hundred +pounds of winnings would not last him long; nor did they; but, for +some time, his luck never deserted him; and his cash, instead of +growing lower, seemed always to maintain a certain level: he played +every night. + +Of course, such a humble fellow as I, could not hope for a +continued acquaintance and intimacy with Attwood. He grew +overbearing and cool, I thought; at any rate I did not admire my +situation as his follower and dependant, and left his grand dinner +for a certain ordinary, where I could partake of five capital +dishes for ninepence. Occasionally, however, Attwood favored me +with a visit, or gave me a drive behind his great cab-horse. He +had formed a whole host of friends besides. There was Fips, the +barrister; heaven knows what he was doing at Paris; and Gortz, the +West Indian, who was there on the same business, and Flapper, a +medical student,--all these three I met one night at Flapper's +rooms, where Jack was invited, and a great "spread" was laid in +honor of him. + +Jack arrived rather late--he looked pale and agitated; and, though +he ate no supper, he drank raw brandy in such a manner as made +Flapper's eyes wink: the poor fellow had but three bottles, and +Jack bade fair to swallow them all. However, the West Indian +generously remedied the evil, and producing a napoleon, we speedily +got the change for it in the shape of four bottles of champagne. + +Our supper was uproariously harmonious; Fips sung the good "Old +English Gentleman;" Jack the "British Grenadiers;" and your humble +servant, when called upon, sang that beautiful ditty, "When the +Bloom is on the Rye," in a manner that drew tears from every eye, +except Flapper's, who was asleep, and Jack's, who was singing the +"Bay of Biscay O," at the same time. Gortz and Fips were all the +time lunging at each other with a pair of single-sticks, the +barrister having a very strong notion that he was Richard the +Third. At last Fips hit the West Indian such a blow across his +sconce, that the other grew furious; he seized a champagne-bottle, +which was, providentially, empty, and hurled it across the room at +Fips: had that celebrated barrister not bowed his head at the +moment, the Queen's Bench would have lost one of its most eloquent +practitioners. + +Fips stood as straight as he could; his cheek was pale with wrath. +"M-m-ister Go-gortz," he said, "I always heard you were a +blackguard; now I can pr-pr-peperove it. Flapper, your pistols! +every ge-ge-genlmn knows what I mean." + +Young Mr. Flapper had a small pair of pocket-pistols, which the +tipsy barrister had suddenly remembered, and with which he proposed +to sacrifice the West Indian. Gortz was nothing loth, but was +quite as valorous as the lawyer. + +Attwood, who, in spite of his potations, seemed the soberest man of +the party, had much enjoyed the scene, until this sudden demand for +the weapons. "Pshaw!" said he, eagerly, "don't give these men the +means of murdering each other; sit down and let us have another +song." But they would not be still; and Flapper forthwith produced +his pistol-case, and opened it, in order that the duel might take +place on the spot. There were no pistols there! "I beg your +pardon," said Attwood, looking much confused; "I--I took the +pistols home with me to clean them!" + +I don't know what there was in his tone, or in the words, but we +were sobered all of a sudden. Attwood was conscious of the +singular effect produced by him, for he blushed, and endeavored to +speak of other things, but we could not bring our spirits back to +the mark again, and soon separated for the night. As we issued +into the street Jack took me aside, and whispered, "Have you a +napoleon, Titmarsh, in your purse?' Alas! I was not so rich. My +reply was, that I was coming to Jack, only in the morning, to +borrow a similar sum. + +He did not make any reply, but turned away homeward: I never heard +him speak another word. + + +Two mornings after (for none of our party met on the day succeeding +the supper), I was awakened by my porter, who brought a pressing +letter from Mr. Gortz:-- + + +"DEAR T.,--I wish you would come over here to breakfast. There's a +row about Attwood.--Yours truly, + +"SOLOMON GORTZ." + + +I immediately set forward to Gortz's; he lived in the Rue du +Helder, a few doors from Attwood's new lodging. If the reader is +curious to know the house in which the catastrophe of this history +took place, he has but to march some twenty doors down from the +Boulevard des Italiens, when he will see a fine door, with a naked +Cupid shooting at him from the hall, and a Venus beckoning him up +the stairs. On arriving at the West Indian's, at about mid-day (it +was a Sunday morning), I found that gentleman in his dressing-gown, +discussing, in the company of Mr Fips, a large plate of bifteck aux +pommes. + +"Here's a pretty row!" said Gortz, quoting from his letter;-- +"Attwood's off--have a bit of beefsteak?" + +"What do you mean?" exclaimed I, adopting the familiar phraseology +of my acquaintances:--"Attwood off?--has he cut his stick?" + +"Not bad," said the feeling and elegant Fips--"not such a bad +guess, my boy; but he has not exactly CUT HIS STICK." + +"What then?" + +"WHY, HIS THROAT." The man's mouth was full of bleeding beef as he +uttered this gentlemanly witticism. + +I wish I could say that I was myself in the least affected by the +news. I did not joke about it like my friend Fips; this was more +for propriety's sake than for feeling's: but for my old school +acquaintance, the friend of my early days, the merry associate of +the last few months, I own, with shame, that I had not a tear or a +pang. In some German tale there is an account of a creature most +beautiful and bewitching, whom all men admire and follow; but this +charming and fantastic spirit only leads them, one by one, into +ruin, and then leaves them. The novelist, who describes her +beauty, says that his heroine is a fairy, and HAS NO HEART. I +think the intimacy which is begotten over the wine-bottle, is a +spirit of this nature; I never knew a good feeling come from it, or +an honest friendship made by it; it only entices men and ruins +them; it is only a phantom of friendship and feeling, called up by +the delirious blood, and the wicked spells of the wine. + +But to drop this strain of moralizing (in which the writer is not +too anxious to proceed, for he cuts in it a most pitiful figure), +we passed sundry criticisms upon poor Attwood's character, +expressed our horror at his death--which sentiment was fully proved +by Mr. Fips, who declared that the notion of it made him feel quite +faint, and was obliged to drink a large glass of brandy; and, +finally, we agreed that we would go and see the poor fellow's +corpse, and witness, if necessary, his burial. + +Flapper, who had joined us, was the first to propose this visit: he +said he did not mind the fifteen francs which Jack owed him for +billiards, but he was anxious to GET BACK HIS PISTOL. Accordingly, +we sallied forth, and speedily arrived at the hotel which Attwood +inhabited still. He had occupied, for a time, very fine apartments +in this house: and it was only on arriving there that day that we +found he had been gradually driven from his magnificent suite of +rooms au premier, to a little chamber in the fifth story:--we +mounted, and found him. It was a little shabby room, with a few +articles of rickety furniture, and a bed in an alcove; the light +from the one window was falling full upon the bed and the body. +Jack was dressed in a fine lawn shirt; he had kept it, poor fellow, +TO DIE IN; for in all his drawers and cupboards there was not a +single article of clothing; he had pawned everything by which he +could raise a penny--desk, books, dressing-case, and clothes; and +not a single halfpenny was found in his possession.* + + +* In order to account for these trivial details, the reader must be +told that the story is, for the chief part, a fact; and that the +little sketch in this page was TAKEN FROM NATURE. The latter was +likewise a copy from one found in the manner described. + + +He was lying as I have drawn him,* one hand on his breast, the +other falling towards the ground. There was an expression of +perfect calm on the face, and no mark of blood to stain the side +towards the light. On the other side, however, there was a great +pool of black blood, and in it the pistol; it looked more like a +toy than a weapon to take away the life of this vigorous young man. +In his forehead, at the side, was a small black wound; Jack's life +had passed through it; it was little bigger than a mole. + + +* This refers to an illustrated edition of the work. + + +"Regardez un peu," said the landlady, "messieurs, il m'a gate trois +matelas, et il me doit quarante quatre francs." + +This was all his epitaph: he had spoiled three mattresses, and owed +the landlady four-and-forty francs. In the whole world there was +not a soul to love him or lament him. We, his friends, were +looking at his body more as an object of curiosity, watching it +with a kind of interest with which one follows the fifth act of a +tragedy, and leaving it with the same feeling with which one leaves +the theatre when the play is over and the curtain is down. + +Beside Jack's bed, on his little "table de nuit," lay the remains +of his last meal, and an open letter, which we read. It was from +one of his suspicious acquaintances of former days, and ran thus:-- + + +"Ou es tu, cher Jack? why you not come and see me--tu me dois de +l'argent, entends tu?--un chapeau, une cachemire, a box of the +Play. Viens demain soir, je t'attendrai at eight o'clock, Passage +des Panoramas. My Sir is at his country. + +"Adieu a demain. + +"Fifine. + +"Samedi." + + +I shuddered as I walked through this very Passage des Panoramas, in +the evening. The girl was there, pacing to and fro, and looking in +the countenance of every passer-by, to recognize Attwood. "ADIEU A +DEMAIN!"--there was a dreadful meaning in the words, which the +writer of them little knew. "Adieu a demain!"--the morrow was +come, and the soul of the poor suicide was now in the presence of +God. I dare not think of his fate; for, except in the fact of his +poverty and desperation, was he worse than any of us, his +companions, who had shared his debauches, and marched with him up +to the very brink of the grave? + +There is but one more circumstance to relate regarding poor Jack-- +his burial; it was of a piece with his death. + +He was nailed into a paltry coffin and buried, at the expense of +the arrondissement, in a nook of the burial-place beyond the +Barriere de l'Etoile. They buried him at six o'clock, of a bitter +winter's morning, and it was with difficulty that an English +clergyman could be found to read a service over his grave. The +three men who have figured in this history acted as Jack's +mourners; and as the ceremony was to take place so early in the +morning, these men sat up the night through, AND WERE ALMOST DRUNK +as they followed his coffin to its resting-place. + + +MORAL. + + +"When we turned out in our great-coats," said one of them afterwards, +"reeking of cigars and brandy-and-water, d--e, sir, we quite +frightened the old buck of a parson; he did not much like our +company." After the ceremony was concluded, these gentlemen were +very happy to get home to a warm and comfortable breakfast, and +finished the day royally at Frascati's. + + + + +NAPOLEON AND HIS SYSTEM. + +ON PRINCE LOUIS NAPOLEON'S WORK. + + +Any person who recollects the history of the absurd outbreak of +Strasburg, in which Prince Louis Napoleon Bonaparte figured, three +years ago, must remember that, however silly the revolt was, +however, foolish its pretext, however doubtful its aim, and +inexperienced its leader, there was, nevertheless, a party, and a +considerable one in France, that were not unwilling to lend the new +projectors their aid. The troops who declared against the Prince, +were, it was said, all but willing to declare for him; and it was +certain that, in many of the regiments of the army, there existed a +strong spirit of disaffection, and an eager wish for the return of +the imperial system and family. + +As to the good that was to be derived from the change, that is +another question. Why the Emperor of the French should be better +than the King of the French, or the King of the French better than +the King of France and Navarre, it is not our business to inquire; +but all the three monarchs have no lack of supporters; republicanism +has no lack of supporters; St. Simoninnism was followed by a +respectable body of admirers; Robespierrism has a select party of +friends. If, in a country where so many quacks have had their day, +Prince Louis Napoleon thought he might renew the imperial quackery, +why should he not? It has recollections with it that must always be +dear to a gallant nation; it has certain claptraps in its vocabulary +that can never fail to inflame a vain, restless, grasping, +disappointed one. + +In the first place, and don't let us endeavor to disguise it, they +hate us. Not all the protestations of friendship, not all the +wisdom of Lord Palmerston, not all the diplomacy of our distinguished +plenipotentiary, Mr. Henry Lytton Bulwer--and let us add, not all +the benefit which both countries would derive from the alliance--can +make it, in our times at least, permanent and cordial. They hate +us. The Carlist organs revile us with a querulous fury that never +sleeps; the moderate party, if they admit the utility of our +alliance, are continually pointing out our treachery, our insolence, +and our monstrous infractions of it; and for the Republicans, as +sure as the morning comes, the columns of their journals thunder out +volleys of fierce denunciations against our unfortunate country. +They live by feeding the natural hatred against England, by keeping +old wounds open, by recurring ceaselessly to the history of old +quarrels, and as in these we, by God's help, by land and by sea, in +old times and late, have had the uppermost, they perpetuate the +shame and mortification of the losing party, the bitterness of past +defeats, and the eager desire to avenge them. A party which knows +how to exploiter this hatred will always be popular to a certain +extent; and the imperial scheme has this, at least, among its +conditions. + +Then there is the favorite claptrap of the "natural frontier." The +Frenchman yearns to be bounded by the Rhine and the Alps; and next +follows the cry, "Let France take her place among nations, and +direct, as she ought to do, the affairs of Europe." These are the +two chief articles contained in the new imperial programme, if we +may credit the journal which has been established to advocate the +cause. A natural boundary--stand among the nations--popular +development--Russian alliance, and a reduction of la perfide Albion +to its proper insignificance. As yet we know little more of the +plan: and yet such foundations are sufficient to build a party +upon, and with such windy weapons a substantial Government is to be +overthrown! + +In order to give these doctrines, such as they are, a chance of +finding favor with his countrymen, Prince Louis has the advantage +of being able to refer to a former great professor of them--his +uncle Napoleon. His attempt is at once pious and prudent; it +exalts the memory of the uncle, and furthers the interests of the +nephew, who attempts to show what Napoleon's ideas really were; +what good had already resulted from the practice of them; how +cruelly they had been thwarted by foreign wars and difficulties; +and what vast benefits WOULD have resulted from them; ay, and (it +is reasonable to conclude) might still, if the French nation would +be wise enough to pitch upon a governor that would continue the +interrupted scheme. It is, however, to be borne in mind that the +Emperor Napoleon had certain arguments in favor of his opinions for +the time being, which his nephew has not employed. On the 13th +Vendemiaire, when General Bonaparte believed in the excellence of a +Directory, it may be remembered that he aided his opinions by forty +pieces of artillery, and by Colonel Murat at the head of his +dragoons. There was no resisting such a philosopher; the Directory +was established forthwith, and the sacred cause of the minority +triumphed, in like manner, when the General was convinced of the +weakness of the Directory, and saw fully the necessity of +establishing a Consulate, what were his arguments? Moreau, Lannes, +Murat, Berthier, Leclerc, Lefebvre--gentle apostles of the truth!-- +marched to St. Cloud, and there, with fixed bayonets, caused it to +prevail. Error vanished in an instant. At once five hundred of +its high-priests tumbled out of windows, and lo! three Consuls +appeared to guide the destinies of France! How much more +expeditious, reasonable, and clinching was this argument of the +18th Brumaire, than any one that can be found in any pamphlet! A +fig for your duodecimos and octavos! Talk about points, there are +none like those at the end of a bayonet; and the most powerful of +styles is a good rattling "article" from a nine-pounder. + +At least this is our interpretation of the manner in which were +always propagated the Idees Napoleoniennes. Not such, however, is +Prince Louis's belief; and, if you wish to go along with him in +opinion, you will discover that a more liberal, peaceable, prudent +Prince never existed: you will read that "the mission of Napoleon" +was to be the "testamentary executor of the revolution;" and the +Prince should have added the legatee; or, more justly still, as +well as the EXECUTOR, he should be called the EXECUTIONER, and then +his title would be complete. In Vendemiaire, the military +Tartuffe, he threw aside the Revolution's natural heirs, and made +her, as it were, ALTER HER WILL; on the 18th of Brumaire he +strangled her, and on the 19th seized on her property, and kept it +until force deprived him of it. Illustrations, to be sure, are no +arguments, but the example is the Prince's, not ours. + +In the Prince's eyes, then, his uncle is a god; of all monarchs, +the most wise, upright, and merciful. Thirty years ago the opinion +had millions of supporters; while millions again were ready to +avouch the exact contrary. It is curious to think of the former +difference of opinion concerning Napoleon; and, in reading his +nephew's rapturous encomiums of him, one goes back to the days when +we ourselves were as loud and mad in his dispraise. Who does not +remember his own personal hatred and horror, twenty-five years ago, +for the man whom we used to call the "bloody Corsican upstart and +assassin?" What stories did we not believe of him?--what murders, +rapes, robberies, not lay to his charge?--we who were living within +a few miles of his territory, and might, by books and newspapers, +be made as well acquainted with his merits or demerits as any of +his own countrymen. + +Then was the age when the Idees Napoleoniennes might have passed +through many editions; for while we were thus outrageously bitter, +our neighbors were as extravagantly attached to him by a strange +infatuation--adored him like a god, whom we chose to consider as a +fiend; and vowed that, under his government, their nation had +attained its highest pitch of grandeur and glory. In revenge there +existed in England (as is proved by a thousand authentic documents) +a monster so hideous, a tyrant so ruthless and bloody, that the +world's history cannot show his parallel. This ruffian's name was, +during the early part of the French revolution, Pittetcobourg. +Pittetcobourg's emissaries were in every corner of France; +Pittetcobourg's gold chinked in the pockets of every traitor in +Europe; it menaced the life of the godlike Robespierre; it drove +into cellars and fits of delirium even the gentle philanthropist +Marat; it fourteen times caused the dagger to be lifted against the +bosom of the First Consul, Emperor, and King,--that first, great, +glorious, irresistible, cowardly, contemptible, bloody hero and +fiend, Bonaparte, before mentioned. + +On our side of the Channel we have had leisure, long since, to re- +consider our verdict against Napoleon; though, to be sure, we have +not changed our opinion about Pittetcobourg. After five-and-thirty +years all parties bear witness to his honesty, and speak with +affectionate reverence of his patriotism, his genius, and his +private virtue. In France, however, or, at least among certain +parties in France, there has been no such modification of opinion. +With the Republicans, Pittetcobourg is Pittetcobourg still,-- +crafty, bloody, seeking whom he may devour; and perfide Albion more +perfidious than ever. This hatred is the point of union between +the Republic and the Empire; it has been fostered ever since, and +must be continued by Prince Louis, if he would hope to conciliate +both parties. + +With regard to the Emperor, then, Prince Louis erects to his memory +as fine a monument as his wits can raise. One need not say that +the imperial apologist's opinion should be received with the utmost +caution; for a man who has such a hero for an uncle may naturally +be proud of and partial to him; and when this nephew of the great +man would be his heir likewise, and, hearing his name, step also +into his imperial shoes, one may reasonably look for much +affectionate panegyric. "The empire was the best of empires," +cries the Prince; and possibly it was; undoubtedly, the Prince +thinks it was; but he is the very last person who would convince a +man with the proper suspicious impartiality. One remembers a +certain consultation of politicians which is recorded in the +Spelling-book; and the opinion of that patriotic sage who avowed +that, for a real blameless constitution, an impenetrable shield for +liberty, and cheap defence of nations, there was nothing like +leather. + +Let us examine some of the Prince's article. If we may be allowed +humbly to express an opinion, his leather is not only quite +insufficient for those vast public purposes for which he destines +it, but is, moreover, and in itself, very BAD LEATHER. The hides +are poor, small, unsound slips of skin; or, to drop this cobbling +metaphor, the style is not particularly brilliant, the facts not +very startling, and, as for the conclusions, one may differ with +almost every one of them. Here is an extract from his first +chapter, "on governments in general:"-- + +"I speak it with regret, I can see but two governments, at this +day, which fulfil the mission that Providence has confided to them; +they are the two colossi at the end of the world; one at the +extremity of the old world, the other at the extremity of the new. +Whilst our old European centre is as a volcano, consuming itself in +its crater, the two nations of the East and the West, march without +hesitation, towards perfection; the one under the will of a single +individual, the other under liberty. + +"Providence has confided to the United States of North America the +task of peopling and civilizing that immense territory which +stretches from the Atlantic to the South Sea, and from the North +Pole to the Equator. The Government, which is only a simple +administration, has only hitherto been called upon to put in +practice the old adage, Laissez faire, laissez passer, in order to +favor that irresistible instinct which pushes the people of America +to the west. + +In Russia it is to the imperial dynasty that is owing all the vast +progress which, in a century and a half, has rescued that empire +from barbarism. The imperial power must contend against all the +ancient prejudices of our old Europe: it must centralize, as far as +possible, all the powers of the state in the hands of one person, +in order to destroy the abuses which the feudal and communal +franchises have served to perpetuate. The last alone can hope to +receive from it the improvements which it expects. + +"But thou, France of Henry IV., of Louis XIV., of Carnot, of +Napoleon--thou, who wert always for the west of Europe the source +of progress, who possessest in thyself the two great pillars of +empire, the genius for the arts of peace and the genius of war-- +hast thou no further mission to fulfil? Wilt thou never cease to +waste thy force and energies in intestine struggles? No; such +cannot be thy destiny: the day will soon come, when, to govern +thee, it will be necessary to understand that thy part is to place +in all treaties thy sword of Brennus on the side of civilization." + +These are the conclusions of the Prince's remarks upon governments +in general; and it must be supposed that the reader is very little +wiser at the end than at the beginning. But two governments in the +world fulfil their mission: the one government, which is no +government; the other, which is a despotism. The duty of France is +IN ALL TREATIES to place her sword of Brennus in the scale of +civilization. Without quarrelling with the somewhat confused +language of the latter proposition, may we ask what, in heaven's +name, is the meaning of all the three? What is this epee de +Brennus? and how is France to use it? Where is the great source of +political truth, from which, flowing pure, we trace American +republicanism in one stream, Russian despotism in another? Vastly +prosperous is the great republic, if you will: if dollars and cents +constitute happiness, there is plenty for all: but can any one, who +has read of the American doings in the late frontier troubles, and +the daily disputes on the slave question, praise the GOVERNMENT of +the States?--a Government which dares not punish homicide or arson +performed before its very eyes, and which the pirates of Texas and +the pirates of Canada can brave at their will? There is no +government, but a prosperous anarchy; as the Prince's other +favorite government is a prosperous slavery. What, then, is to be +the epee de Brennus government? Is it to be a mixture of the two? +"Society," writes the Prince, axiomatically, "contains in itself +two principles--the one of progress and immortality, the other of +disease and disorganization." No doubt; and as the one tends +towards liberty, so the other is only to be cured by order: and +then, with a singular felicity, Prince Louis picks us out a couple +of governments, in one of which the common regulating power is as +notoriously too weak, as it is in the other too strong, and talks +in rapturous terms of the manner in which they fulfil their +"providential mission!" + +From these considerations on things in general, the Prince conducts +us to Napoleon in particular, and enters largely into a discussion +of the merits of the imperial system. Our author speaks of the +Emperor's advent in the following grandiose way:-- + +"Napoleon, on arriving at the public stage, saw that his part was +to be the TESTAMENTARY EXECUTOR of the Revolution. The destructive +fire of parties was extinct; and when the Revolution, dying, but +not vanquished, delegated to Napoleon the accomplishment of her +last will, she said to him, 'Establish upon solid bases the +principal result of my efforts. Unite divided Frenchmen. Defeat +feudal Europe that is leagued against me. Cicatrize my wounds. +Enlighten the nations. Execute that in width, which I have had to +perform in depth. Be for Europe what I have been for France. And, +even if you must water the tree of civilization with your blood--if +you must see your projects misunderstood, and your sons without a +country, wandering over the face of the earth, never abandon the +sacred cause of the French people. Insure its triumph by all the +means which genius can discover and humanity approve.' + +"This grand mission Napoleon performed to the end. His task was +difficult. He had to place upon new principles a society still +boiling with hatred and revenge; and to use, for building up, the +same instruments which had been employed for pulling down. + +"The common lot of every new truth that arises, is to wound rather +than to convince--rather than to gain proselytes, to awaken fear. +For, oppressed as it long has been, it rushes forward with +additional force; having to encounter obstacles, it is compelled to +combat them, and overthrow them; until, at length, comprehended and +adopted by the generality, it becomes the basis of new social +order. + +"Liberty will follow the same march as the Christian religion. +Armed with death from the ancient society of Rome, it for a long +while excited the hatred and fear of the people. At last, by force +of martyrdoms and persecutions, the religion of Christ penetrated +into the conscience and the soul; it soon had kings and armies at +its orders, and Constantine and Charlemagne bore it triumphant +throughout Europe. Religion then laid down her arms of war. It +laid open to all the principles of peace and order which it +contained; it became the prop of Government, as it was the +organizing element of society. Thus will it be with liberty. In +1793 it frightened people and sovereigns alike; then, having +clothed itself in a milder garb, IT INSINUATED ITSELF EVERYWHERE IN +THE TRAIN OF OUR BATTALIONS. In 1815 all parties adopted its flag, +and armed themselves with its moral force--covered themselves with +its colors. The adoption was not sincere, and liberty was soon +obliged to reassume its warlike accoutrements. With the contest +their fears returned. Let us hope that they will soon cease, and +that liberty will soon resume her peaceful standards, to quit them +no more. + +"The Emperor Napoleon contributed more than any one else towards +accelerating the reign of liberty, by saving the moral influence +of the revolution, and diminishing the fears which it imposed. +Without the Consulate and the Empire, the revolution would have +been only a grand drama, leaving grand revolutions but no traces: +the revolution would have been drowned in the counter-revolution. +The contrary, however, was the case. Napoleon rooted the +revolution in France, and introduced, throughout Europe, the +principal benefits of the crisis of 1789. To use his own words, +'He purified the revolution, he confirmed kings, and ennobled +people.' He purified the revolution, in separating the truths +which it contained from the passions that, during its delirium, +disfigured it. He ennobled the people in giving them the +consciousness of their force, and those institutions which raise +men in their own eyes. The Emperor may be considered as the +Messiah of the new ideas; for--and we must confess it--in the +moments immediately succeeding a social revolution, it is not so +essential to put rigidly into practice all the propositions +resulting from the new theory, but to become master of the +regenerative genius, to identify one's self with the sentiments of +the people, and boldly to direct them towards the desired point. +To accomplish such a task YOUR FIBRE SHOULD RESPOND TO THAT OF THE +PEOPLE, as the Emperor said; you should feel like it, your +interests should be so intimately raised with its own, that you +should vanquish or fall together." + +Let us take breath after these big phrases,--grand round figures of +speech,--which, when put together, amount like certain other +combinations of round figures to exactly 0. We shall not stop to +argue the merits and demerits of Prince Louis's notable comparison +between the Christian religion and the Imperial-revolutionary +system. There are many blunders in the above extract as we read +it; blundering metaphors, blundering arguments, and blundering +assertions; but this is surely the grandest blunder of all; and one +wonders at the blindness of the legislator and historian who can +advance such a parallel. And what are we to say of the legacy of +the dying revolution to Napoleon? Revolutions do not die, and, on +their death-beds, making fine speeches, hand over their property to +young officers of artillery. We have all read the history of his +rise. The constitution of the year III. was carried. Old men of +the Montagne, disguised royalists, Paris sections, PITTETCOBOURG, +above all, with his money-bags, thought that here was a fine +opportunity for a revolt, and opposed the new constitution in arms: +the new constitution had knowledge of a young officer who would not +hesitate to defend its cause, and who effectually beat the +majority. The tale may be found in every account of the +revolution, and the rest of his story need not be told. We know +every step that he took: we know how, by doses of cannon-balls +promptly administered, he cured the fever of the sections--that +fever which another camp-physician (Menou) declined to prescribe +for; we know how he abolished the Directory; and how the Consulship +came; and then the Empire; and then the disgrace, exile, and lonely +death. Has not all this been written by historians in all +tongues?--by memoir-writing pages, chamberlains, marshals, lackeys, +secretaries, contemporaries, and ladies of honor? Not a word of +miracle is there in all this narration; not a word of celestial +missions, or political Messiahs. From Napoleon's rise to his fall, +the bayonet marches alongside of him: now he points it at the tails +of the scampering "five hundred,"--now he charges with it across +the bloody planks of Arcola--now he flies before it over the fatal +plain of Waterloo. + +Unwilling, however, as he may be to grant that there are any spots +in the character of his hero's government, the Prince is, +nevertheless, obliged to allow that such existed; that the +Emperor's manner of rule was a little more abrupt and dictatorial +than might possibly be agreeable. For this the Prince has always +an answer ready--it is the same poor one that Napoleon uttered a +million of times to his companions in exile--the excuse of +necessity. He WOULD have been very liberal, but that the people +were not fit for it; or that the cursed war prevented him--or any +other reason why. His first duty, however, says his apologist, was +to form a general union of Frenchmen, and he set about his plan in +this wise:-- + +"Let us not forget, that all which Napoleon undertook, in order to +create a general fusion, he performed without renouncing the +principles of the revolution. He recalled the emigres, without +touching upon the law by which their goods had been confiscated and +sold as public property. He reestablished the Catholic religion at +the same time that he proclaimed the liberty of conscience, and +endowed equally the ministers of all sects. He caused himself to +be consecrated by the Sovereign Pontiff, without conceding to the +Pope's demand any of the liberties of the Gallican church. He +married a daughter of the Emperor of Austria, without abandoning +any of the rights of France to the conquests she had made. He +reestablished noble titles, without attaching to them any +privileges or prerogatives, and these titles were conferred on all +ranks, on all services, on all professions. Under the empire all +idea of caste was destroyed; no man ever thought of vaunting his +pedigree--no man ever was asked how he was born, but what he had +done. + +"The first quality of a people which aspires to liberal government, +is respect to the law. Now, a law has no other power than lies in +the interest which each citizen has to defend or to contravene it. +In order to make a people respect the law, it was necessary that it +should be executed in the interest of all, and should consecrate +the principle of equality in all its extension. It was necessary +to restore the prestige with which the Government had been formerly +invested, and to make the principles of the revolution take root in +the public manners. At the commencement of a new society, it is +the legislator who makes or corrects the manners; later, it is the +manners which make the law, or preserve it from age to age intact." + +Some of these fusions are amusing. No man in the empire was asked +how he was born, but what he had done; and, accordingly, as a man's +actions were sufficient to illustrate him, the Emperor took care to +make a host of new title-bearers, princes, dukes, barons, and what +not, whose rank has descended to their children. He married a +princess of Austria; but, for all that, did not abandon his +conquests--perhaps not actually; but he abandoned his allies, and, +eventually, his whole kingdom. Who does not recollect his answer +to the Poles, at the commencement of the Russian campaign? But for +Napoleon's imperial father-in-law, Poland would have been a +kingdom, and his race, perhaps, imperial still. Why was he to +fetch this princess out of Austria to make heirs for his throne? +Why did not the man of the people marry a girl of the people? Why +must he have a Pope to crown him--half a dozen kings for brothers, +and a bevy of aides-de-camp dressed out like so many mountebanks +from Astley's, with dukes' coronets, and grand blue velvet +marshals' batons? We have repeatedly his words for it. He wanted +to create an aristocracy--another acknowledgment on his part of the +Republican dilemma--another apology for the revolutionary blunder. +To keep the republic within bounds, a despotism is necessary; to +rally round the despotism, an aristocracy must be created; and for +what have we been laboring all this while? for what have bastiles +been battered down, and king's heads hurled, as a gage of battle, +in the face of armed Europe? To have a Duke of Otranto instead of +a Duke de la Tremouille, and Emperor Stork in place of King Log. O +lame conclusion! Is the blessed revolution which is prophesied for +us in England only to end in establishing a Prince Fergus O'Connor, +or a Cardinal Wade, or a Duke Daniel Whittle Harvey? Great as +those patriots are, we love them better under their simple family +names, and scorn titles and coronets. + +At present, in France, the delicate matter of titles seems to be +better arranged, any gentleman, since the Revolution, being free to +adopt any one he may fix upon; and it appears that the Crown no +longer confers any patents of nobility, but contents itself with +saying, as in the case of M. de Pontois, the other day, "Le Roi +trouve convenable that you take the title of," &c. + +To execute the legacy of the revolution, then; to fulfil his +providential mission; to keep his place,--in other words, for the +simplest are always the best,--to keep his place, and to keep his +Government in decent order, the Emperor was obliged to establish a +military despotism, to re-establish honors and titles; it was +necessary, as the Prince confesses, to restore the old prestige of +the Government, in order to make the people respect it; and he +adds--a truth which one hardly would expect from him,--"At the +commencement of a new society, it is the legislator who makes and +corrects the manners; later, it is the manners which preserve +the laws." Of course, and here is the great risk that all +revolutionizing people run--they must tend to despotism; "they must +personify themselves in a man," is the Prince's phrase; and, +according as is his temperament or disposition--according as he is +a Cromwell, a Washington, or a Napoleon--the revolution becomes +tyranny or freedom, prospers or falls. + +Somewhere in the St. Helena memorials, Napoleon reports a message +of his to the Pope. "Tell the Pope," he says to an archbishop, "to +remember that I have six hundred thousand armed Frenchmen, qui +marcheront avec moi, pour moi, et comme moi." And this is the +legacy of the revolution, the advancement of freedom! A hundred +volumes of imperial special pleading will not avail against such +a speech as this--one so insolent, and at the same time so +humiliating, which gives unwittingly the whole of the Emperor's +progress, strength, and weakness. The six hundred thousand armed +Frenchmen were used up, and the whole fabric falls; the six hundred +thousand are reduced to sixty thousand, and straightway all the +rest of the fine imperial scheme vanishes: the miserable senate, so +crawling and abject but now, becomes of a sudden endowed with a +wondrous independence; the miserable sham nobles, sham empress, +sham kings, dukes, princes, chamberlains, pack up their plumes and +embroideries, pounce upon what money and plate they can lay their +hands on, and when the allies appear before Paris, when for courage +and manliness there is yet hope, when with fierce marches hastening +to the relief of his capital, bursting through ranks upon ranks of +the enemy, and crushing or scattering them from the path of his +swift and victorious despair, the Emperor at last is at home,-- +where are the great dignitaries and the lieutenant-generals of the +empire? Where is Maria Louisa, the Empress Eagle, with her little +callow king of Rome? Is she going to defend her nest and her +eaglet? Not she. Empress-queen, lieutenant-general, and court +dignitaries, are off on the wings of all the winds--profligati +sunt, they are away with the money-bags, and Louis Stanislas Xavier +rolls into the palace of his fathers. + +With regard to Napoleon's excellences as an administrator, a +legislator, a constructor of public works, and a skilful financier, +his nephew speaks with much diffuse praise, and few persons, we +suppose, will be disposed to contradict him. Whether the Emperor +composed his famous code, or borrowed it, is of little importance; +but he established it, and made the law equal for every man in +France except one. His vast public works and vaster wars were +carried on without new loans or exorbitant taxes; it was only the +blood and liberty of the people that were taxed, and we shall want +a better advocate than Prince Louis to show us that these were not +most unnecessarily and lavishly thrown away. As for the former and +material improvements, it is not necessary to confess here that a +despotic energy can effect such far more readily than a Government +of which the strength is diffused in many conflicting parties. No +doubt, if we could create a despotical governing machine, a steam +autocrat,--passionless, untiring, and supreme,--we should advance +further, and live more at ease than under any other form of +government. Ministers might enjoy their pensions and follow their +own devices; Lord John might compose histories or tragedies at his +leisure, and Lord Palmerston, instead of racking his brains to +write leading articles for Cupid, might crown his locks with +flowers, and sing [Greek text omitted], his natural Anacreontics; +but alas! not so: if the despotic Government has its good side, +Prince Louis Napoleon must acknowledge that it has its bad, and it +is for this that the civilized world is compelled to substitute for +it something more orderly and less capricious. Good as the +Imperial Government might have been, it must be recollected, too, +that since its first fall, both the Emperor and his admirer and +would-be successor have had their chance of re-establishing it. +"Fly from steeple to steeple" the eagles of the former did +actually, and according to promise perch for a while on the towers +of Notre Dame. We know the event: if the fate of war declared +against the Emperor, the country declared against him too; and, +with old Lafayette for a mouthpiece, the representatives of the +nation did, in a neat speech, pronounce themselves in permanence, +but spoke no more of the Emperor than if he had never been. +Thereupon the Emperor proclaimed his son the Emperor Napoleon II. +"L'Empereur est mort, vive l'Empereur!" shouted Prince Lucien. +Psha! not a soul echoed the words: the play was played, and as for +old Lafayette and his "permanent" representatives, a corporal with +a hammer nailed up the door of their spouting-club, and once more +Louis Stanislas Xavier rolled back to the bosom of his people. + +In like manner Napoleon III. returned from exile, and made his +appearance on the frontier. His eagle appeared at Strasburg, and +from Strasburg advanced to the capital; but it arrived at Paris +with a keeper, and in a post-chaise; whence, by the orders of the +sovereign, it was removed to the American shores, and there +magnanimously let loose. Who knows, however, how soon it may be on +the wing again, and what a flight it will take? + + + + +THE STORY OF MARY ANCEL. + + +"Go, my nephew," said old Father Jacob to me, "and complete thy +studies at Strasburg: Heaven surely hath ordained thee for the +ministry in these times of trouble, and my excellent friend +Schneider will work out the divine intention." + +Schneider was an old college friend of uncle Jacob's, was a +Benedictine monk, and a man famous for his learning; as for me, +I was at that time my uncle's chorister, clerk, and sacristan; +I swept the church, chanted the prayers with my shrill treble, and +swung the great copper incense-pot on Sundays and feasts; and I +toiled over the Fathers for the other days of the week. + +The old gentleman said that my progress was prodigious, and, +without vanity, I believe he was right, for I then verily +considered that praying was my vocation, and not fighting, as +I have found since. + +You would hardly conceive (said the Captain, swearing a great oath) +how devout and how learned I was in those days; I talked Latin +faster than my own beautiful patois of Alsacian French; I could +utterly overthrow in argument every Protestant (heretics we called +them) parson in the neighborhood, and there was a confounded +sprinkling of these unbelievers in our part of the country. I +prayed half a dozen times a day; I fasted thrice in a week; and, as +for penance, I used to scourge my little sides, till they had no +more feeling than a peg-top: such was the godly life I led at my +uncle Jacob's in the village of Steinbach. + +Our family had long dwelt in this place, and a large farm and a +pleasant house were then in the possession of another uncle--uncle +Edward. He was the youngest of the three sons of my grandfather; +but Jacob, the elder, had shown a decided vocation for the church, +from, I believe, the age of three, and now was by no means tired of +it at sixty. My father, who was to have inherited the paternal +property, was, as I hear, a terrible scamp and scapegrace, +quarrelled with his family, and disappeared altogether, living and +dying at Paris; so far we knew through my mother, who came, poor +woman, with me, a child of six months, on her bosom, was refused +all shelter by my grandfather, but was housed and kindly cared for +by my good uncle Jacob. + +Here she lived for about seven years, and the old gentleman, when +she died, wept over her grave a great deal more than I did, who was +then too young to mind anything but toys or sweetmeats. + +During this time my grandfather was likewise carried off: he left, +as I said, the property to his son Edward, with a small proviso in +his will that something should be done for me, his grandson. + +Edward was himself a widower, with one daughter, Mary, about three +years older than I, and certainly she was the dearest little +treasure with which Providence ever blessed a miserly father; by +the time she was fifteen, five farmers, three lawyers, twelve +Protestant parsons, and a lieutenant of Dragoons had made her +offers: it must not be denied that she was an heiress as well as a +beauty, which, perhaps, had something to do with the love of these +gentlemen. However, Mary declared that she intended to live +single, turned away her lovers one after another, and devoted +herself to the care of her father. + +Uncle Jacob was as fond of her as he was of any saint or martyr. +As for me, at the mature age of twelve I had made a kind of +divinity of her, and when we sang "Ave Maria" on Sundays I could +not refrain from turning to her, where she knelt, blushing and +praying and looking like an angel, as she was. Besides her beauty, +Mary had a thousand good qualities; she could play better on the +harpsichord, she could dance more lightly, she could make better +pickles and puddings, than any girl in Alsace; there was not a want +or a fancy of the old hunks her father, or a wish of mine or my +uncle's, that she would not gratify if she could; as for herself, +the sweet soul had neither wants nor wishes except to see us happy. + +I could talk to you for a year of all the pretty kindnesses that +she would do for me; how, when she found me of early mornings among +my books, her presence "would cast a light upon the day;" how she +used to smooth and fold my little surplice, and embroider me caps +and gowns for high feast-days; how she used to bring flowers for +the altar, and who could deck it so well as she? But sentiment +does not come glibly from under a grizzled moustache, so I will +drop it, if you please. + +Amongst other favors she showed me, Mary used to be particularly +fond of kissing me: it was a thing I did not so much value in those +days, but I found that the more I grew alive to the extent of the +benefit, the less she would condescend to confer it on me; till at +last, when I was about fourteen, she discontinued it altogether, of +her own wish at least; only sometimes I used to be rude, and take +what she had now become so mighty unwilling to give. + +I was engaged in a contest of this sort one day with Mary, when, +just as I was about to carry off a kiss from her cheek, I was +saluted with a staggering slap on my own, which was bestowed by +uncle Edward, and sent me reeling some yards down the garden. + +The old gentleman, whose tongue was generally as close as his +purse, now poured forth a flood of eloquence which quite astonished +me. I did not think that so much was to be said on any subject as +he managed to utter on one, and that was abuse of me; he stamped, +he swore, he screamed; and then, from complimenting me, he turned +to Mary, and saluted her in a manner equally forcible and +significant; she, who was very much frightened at the commencement +of the scene, grew very angry at the coarse words he used, and the +wicked motives he imputed to her. + +"The child is but fourteen," she said; "he is your own nephew, and +a candidate for holy orders:--father, it is a shame that you should +thus speak of me, your daughter, or of one of his holy profession." + +I did not particularly admire this speech myself, but it had an +effect on my uncle, and was the cause of the words with which this +history commences. The old gentleman persuaded his brother that I +must be sent to Strasburg, and there kept until my studies for the +church were concluded. I was furnished with a letter to my uncle's +old college chum, Professor Schneider, who was to instruct me in +theology and Greek. + +I was not sorry to see Strasburg, of the wonders of which I had +heard so much; but felt very loth as the time drew near when I must +quit my pretty cousin, and my good old uncle. Mary and I managed, +however, a parting walk, in which a number of tender things were +said on both sides. I am told that you Englishmen consider it +cowardly to cry; as for me, I wept and roared incessantly: when +Mary squeezed me, for the last time, the tears came out of me as if +I had been neither more nor less than a great wet sponge. My +cousin's eyes were stoically dry; her ladyship had a part to play, +and it would have been wrong for her to be in love with a young +chit of fourteen--so she carried herself with perfect coolness, as +if there was nothing the matter. I should not have known that she +cared for me, had it not been for a letter which she wrote me a +month afterwards--THEN, nobody was by, and the consequence was that +the letter was half washed away with her weeping; if she had used a +watering-pot the thing could not have been better done. + +Well, I arrived at Strasburg--a dismal, old-fashioned, rickety town +in those days--and straightway presented myself and letter at +Schneider's door; over it was written-- + + + COMITE DE SALUT PUBLIC. + + +Would you believe it? I was so ignorant a young fellow, that I had +no idea of the meaning of the words; however, I entered the +citizen's room without fear, and sat down in his ante-chamber until +I could be admitted to see him. + +Here I found very few indications of his reverence's profession; +the walls were hung round with portraits of Robespierre, Marat, and +the like; a great bust of Mirabeau, mutilated, with the word +Traitre underneath; lists and republican proclamations, tobacco- +pipes and fire-arms. At a deal-table, stained with grease and +wine, sat a gentleman, with a huge pigtail dangling down to that +part of his person which immediately succeeds his back, and a red +nightcap, containing a TRICOLOR cockade as large as a pancake. He +was smoking a short pipe, reading a little book, and sobbing as if +his heart would break. Every now and then he would make brief +remarks upon the personages or the incidents of his book, by which +I could judge that he was a man of the very keenest sensibilities-- +"Ah, brigand!" "O malheureuse!" "O Charlotte, Charlotte!" The +work which this gentleman was perusing is called "The Sorrows of +Werter;" it was all the rage, in those days, and my friend was only +following the fashion. I asked him if I could see Father +Schneider? he turned towards me a hideous, pimpled face, which I +dream of now at forty years' distance. + +"Father who?" said he. "Do you imagine that citizen Schneider has +not thrown off the absurd mummery of priesthood? If you were a +little older you would go to prison for calling him Father +Schneider--many a man has died for less;" and he pointed to a +picture of a guillotine, which was hanging in the room. + +I was in amazement. + +"What is he? Is he not a teacher of Greek, an abbe, a monk, until +monasteries were abolished, the learned editor of the songs of +'Anacreon?'" + +"He WAS all this," replied my grim friend; "he is now a Member of +the Committee of Public Safety, and would think no more of ordering +your head off than of drinking this tumbler of beer." + +He swallowed, himself, the frothy liquid, and then proceeded to +give me the history of the man to whom my uncle had sent me for +instruction. + +Schneider was born in 1756: was a student at Wurzburg, and +afterwards entered a convent, where he remained nine years. He +here became distinguished for his learning and his talents as a +preacher, and became chaplain to Duke Charles of Wurtemberg. The +doctrines of the Illuminati began about this time to spread in +Germany, and Schneider speedily joined the sect. He had been a +professor of Greek at Cologne; and being compelled, on account of +his irregularity, to give up his chair, he came to Strasburg at the +commencement of the French Revolution, and acted for some time a +principal part as a revolutionary agent at Strasburg. + +["Heaven knows what would have happened to me had I continued long +under his tuition!" said the Captain. "I owe the preservation of +my morals entirely to my entering the army. A man, sir, who is a +soldier, has very little time to be wicked; except in the case of a +siege and the sack of a town, when a little license can offend +nobody."] + +By the time that my friend had concluded Schneider's biography, we +had grown tolerably intimate, and I imparted to him (with that +experience so remarkable in youth) my whole history--my course of +studies, my pleasant country life, the names and qualities of my +dear relations, and my occupations in the vestry before religion +was abolished by order of the Republic. In the course of my speech +I recurred so often to the name of my cousin Mary, that the +gentleman could not fail to perceive what a tender place she had in +my heart. + +Then we reverted to "The Sorrows of Werter," and discussed the +merits of that sublime performance. Although I had before felt +some misgivings about my new acquaintance, my heart now quite +yearned towards him. He talked about love and sentiment in a +manner which made me recollect that I was in love myself; and you +know that when a man is in that condition, his taste is not very +refined, any maudlin trash of prose or verse appearing sublime to +him, provided it correspond, in some degree, with his own +situation. + +"Candid youth!" cried my unknown, "I love to hear thy innocent +story and look on thy guileless face. There is, alas! so much of +the contrary in this world, so much terror and crime and blood, +that we who mingle with it are only too glad to forget it. Would +that we could shake off our cares as men, and be boys, as thou art, +again!" + +Here my friend began to weep once more, and fondly shook my hand. +I blessed my stars that I had, at the very outset of my career, met +with one who was so likely to aid me. What a slanderous world it +is, thought I; the people in our village call these Republicans +wicked and bloody-minded; a lamb could not be more tender than this +sentimental bottle-nosed gentleman! The worthy man then gave me to +understand that he held a place under Government. I was busy in +endeavoring to discover what his situation might be, when the door +of the next apartment opened, and Schneider made his appearance. + +At first he did not notice me, but he advanced to my new +acquaintance, and gave him, to my astonishment, something very like +a blow. + +"You drunken, talking fool," he said, "you are always after your +time. Fourteen people are cooling their heels yonder, waiting +until you have finished your beer and your sentiment!" + +My friend slunk muttering out of the room. + +"That fellow," said Schneider, turning to me, "is our public +executioner: a capital hand too if he would but keep decent time; +but the brute is always drunk, and blubbering over 'The Sorrows of +Werter!'" + + +I know not whether it was his old friendship for my uncle, or my +proper merits, which won the heart of this the sternest ruffian of +Robespierre's crew; but certain it is, that he became strangely +attached to me, and kept me constantly about his person. As for +the priesthood and the Greek, they were of course very soon out of +the question. The Austrians were on our frontier; every day +brought us accounts of battles won; and the youth of Strasburg, and +of all France, indeed, were bursting with military ardor. As for +me, I shared the general mania, and speedily mounted a cockade as +large as that of my friend, the executioner. + +The occupations of this worthy were unremitting. Saint Just, who +had come down from Paris to preside over our town, executed the +laws and the aristocrats with terrible punctuality; and Schneider +used to make country excursions in search of offenders with this +fellow, as a provost-marshal, at his back. In the meantime, having +entered my sixteenth year, and being a proper lad of my age, I had +joined a regiment of cavalry, and was scampering now after the +Austrians who menaced us, and now threatening the Emigres, who were +banded at Coblentz. My love for my dear cousin increased as my +whiskers grew; and when I was scarcely seventeen, I thought myself +man enough to marry her, and to cut the throat of any one who +should venture to say me nay. + +I need not tell you that during my absence at Strasburg, great +changes had occurred in our little village, and somewhat of the +revolutionary rage had penetrated even to that quiet and distant +place. The hideous "Fete of the Supreme Being" had been celebrated +at Paris; the practice of our ancient religion was forbidden; its +professors were most of them in concealment, or in exile, or had +expiated on the scaffold their crime of Christianity. In our poor +village my uncle's church was closed, and he, himself, an inmate in +my brother's house, only owing his safety to his great popularity +among his former flock, and the influence of Edward Ancel. + +The latter had taken in the Revolution a somewhat prominent part; +that is, he had engaged in many contracts for the army, attended +the clubs regularly, corresponded with the authorities of his +department, and was loud in his denunciations of the aristocrats in +the neighborhood. But owing, perhaps, to the German origin of the +peasantry, and their quiet and rustic lives, the revolutionary fury +which prevailed in the cities had hardly reached the country +people. The occasional visit of a commissary from Paris or +Strasburg served to keep the flame alive, and to remind the rural +swains of the existence of a Republic in France. + +Now and then, when I could gain a week's leave of absence, I +returned to the village, and was received with tolerable politeness +by my uncle, and with a warmer feeling by his daughter. + +I won't describe to you the progress of our love, or the wrath of +my uncle Edward, when he discovered that it still continued. He +swore and he stormed; he locked Mary into her chamber, and vowed +that he would withdraw the allowance he made me, if ever I ventured +near her. His daughter, he said, should never marry a hopeless, +penniless subaltern; and Mary declared she would not marry without +his consent. What had I to do?--to despair and to leave her. As +for my poor uncle Jacob, he had no counsel to give me, and, indeed, +no spirit left: his little church was turned into a stable, his +surplice torn off his shoulders, and he was only too lucky in +keeping HIS HEAD on them. A bright thought struck him: suppose you +were to ask the advice of my old friend Schneider regarding this +marriage? he has ever been your friend, and may help you now as +before. + +(Here the Captain paused a little.) You may fancy (continued he) +that it was droll advice of a reverend gentleman like uncle Jacob +to counsel me in this manner, and to bid me make friends with such +a murderous cut-throat as Schneider; but we thought nothing of it +in those days; guillotining was as common as dancing, and a man was +only thought the better patriot the more severe he might be. I +departed forthwith to Strasburg, and requested the vote and +interest of the Citizen President of the Committee of Public +Safety. + +He heard me with a great deal of attention. I described to him +most minutely the circumstance, expatiated upon the charms of my +dear Mary, and painted her to him from head to foot. Her golden +hair and her bright blushing cheeks, her slim waist and her +tripping tiny feet; and furthermore, I added that she possessed a +fortune which ought, by rights, to be mine, but for the miserly old +father. "Curse him for an aristocrat!" concluded I, in my wrath. + +As I had been discoursing about Mary's charms Schneider listened +with much complacency and attention: when I spoke about her +fortune, his interest redoubled; and when I called her father an +aristocrat, the worthy ex-Jesuit gave a grin of satisfaction, which +was really quite terrible. O fool that I was to trust him so far! + + +The very same evening an officer waited upon me with the following +note from Saint Just:-- + + +"STRASBURG, Fifth year of the Republic, one and indivisible, 11 +Ventose. + +"The citizen Pierre Ancel is to leave Strasburg within two hours, +and to carry the enclosed despatches to the President of the +Committee of Public Safety at Paris. The necessary leave of +absence from his military duties has been provided. Instant +punishment will follow the slightest delay on the road. + +Salut et Fraternite." + + +There was no choice but obedience, and off I sped on my weary way +to the capital. + +As I was riding out of the Paris gate I met an equipage which I +knew to be that of Schneider. The ruffian smiled at me as I +passed, and wished me a bon voyage. Behind his chariot came a +curious machine, or cart; a great basket, three stout poles, and +several planks, all painted red, were lying in this vehicle, on the +top of which was seated my friend with the big cockade. It was the +PORTABLE GUILLOTINE which Schneider always carried with him on his +travels. The bourreau was reading "The Sorrows of Werter," and +looked as sentimental as usual. + +I will not speak of my voyage in order to relate to you +Schneider's. My story had awakened the wretch's curiosity and +avarice, and he was determined that such a prize as I had shown my +cousin to be should fall into no hands but his own. No sooner, in +fact, had I quitted his room than he procured the order for my +absence, and was on the way to Steinbach as I met him. + +The journey is not a very long one; and on the next day my uncle +Jacob was surprised by receiving a message that the citizen +Schneider was in the village, and was coming to greet his old +friend. Old Jacob was in an ecstasy, for he longed to see his +college acquaintance, and he hoped also that Schneider had come +into that part of the country upon the marriage-business of your +humble servant. Of course Mary was summoned to give her best +dinner, and wear her best frock; and her father made ready to +receive the new State dignitary. + +Schneider's carriage speedily rolled into the court-yard, and +Schneider's CART followed, as a matter of course. The ex-priest +only entered the house; his companion remaining with the horses to +dine in private. Here was a most touching meeting between him and +Jacob. They talked over their old college pranks and successes; +they capped Greek verses, and quoted ancient epigrams upon their +tutors, who had been dead since the Seven Years' War. Mary +declared it was quite touching to listen to the merry friendly talk +of these two old gentlemen. + +After the conversation had continued for a time in this strain, +Schneider drew up all of a sudden, and said quietly, that he had +come on particular and unpleasant business--hinting about +troublesome times, spies, evil reports, and so forth. Then he +called uncle Edward aside, and had with him a long and earnest +conversation: so Jacob went out and talked with Schneider's FRIEND; +they speedily became very intimate, for the ruffian detailed all +the circumstances of his interview with me. When he returned into +the house, some time after this pleasing colloquy, he found the +tone of the society strangely altered. Edward Ancel, pale as a +sheet, trembling, and crying for mercy; poor Mary weeping; and +Schneider pacing energetically about the apartment, raging about +the rights of man, the punishment of traitors, and the one and +indivisible republic. + +"Jacob," he said, as my uncle entered the room, "I was willing, for +the sake of our old friendship, to forget the crimes of your +brother. He is a known and dangerous aristocrat; he holds +communications with the enemy on the frontier; he is a possessor of +great and ill-gotten wealth, of which he has plundered the +Republic. Do you know," said he, turning to Edward Ancel, "where +the least of these crimes, or the mere suspicion of them, would +lead you?" + +Poor Edward sat trembling in his chair, and answered not a word. +He knew full well how quickly, in this dreadful time, punishment +followed suspicion; and, though guiltless of all treason with the +enemy, perhaps he was aware that, in certain contracts with the +Government, he had taken to himself a more than patriotic share of +profit. + +"Do you know," resumed Schneider, in a voice of thunder, "for what +purpose I came hither, and by whom I am accompanied? I am the +administrator of the justice of the Republic. The life of yourself +and your family is in my hands: yonder man, who follows me, is the +executor of the law; he has rid the nation of hundreds of wretches +like yourself. A single word from me, and your doom is sealed +without hope, and your last hour is come. Ho! Gregoire!" shouted +he; "is all ready?" + +Gregoire replied from the court, "I can put up the machine in half +an hour. Shall I go down to the village and call the troops and +the law people?" + +"Do you hear him?" said Schneider. "The guillotine is in the +court-yard; your name is on my list, and I have witnesses to prove +your crime. Have you a word in your defence?" + +Not a word came; the old gentleman was dumb; but his daughter, who +did not give way to his terror, spoke for him. + +"You cannot, sir," said she, "although you say it, FEEL that my +father is guilty; you would not have entered our house thus alone +if you had thought it. You threaten him in this manner because you +have something to ask and to gain from us: what is it, citizen?-- +tell us how much you value our lives, and what sum we are to pay +for our ransom?" + +"Sum!" said uncle Jacob; "he does not want money of us: my old +friend, my college chum, does not come hither to drive bargains +with anybody belonging to Jacob Ancel?" + +"Oh, no, sir, no, you can't want money of us," shrieked Edward; "we +are the poorest people of the village: ruined, Monsieur Schneider, +ruined in the cause of the Republic." + +"Silence, father," said my brave Mary; "this man wants a PRICE: he +comes, with his worthy friend yonder, to frighten us, not to kill +us. If we die, he cannot touch a sou of our money; it is +confiscated to the State. Tell us, sir, what is the price of our +safety?" + +Schneider smiled, and bowed with perfect politeness. + +"Mademoiselle Marie," he said, "is perfectly correct in her +surmise. I do not want the life of this poor drivelling old man: +my intentions are much more peaceable, be assured. It rests +entirely with this accomplished young lady (whose spirit I like, +and whose ready wit I admire), whether the business between us +shall be a matter of love or death. I humbly offer myself, citizen +Ancel, as a candidate for the hand of your charming daughter. Her +goodness, her beauty, and the large fortune which I know you intend +to give her, would render her a desirable match for the proudest +man in the republic, and, I am sure, would make me the happiest." + +"This must be a jest, Monsieur Schneider," said Mary, trembling, +and turning deadly pale: "you cannot mean this; you do not know me: +you never heard of me until to-day." + +"Pardon me, belle dame," replied he; "your cousin Pierre has often +talked to me of your virtues; indeed, it was by his special +suggestion that I made the visit." + +"It is false!--it is a base and cowardly lie!" exclaimed she (for +the young lady's courage was up),--"Pierre never could have +forgotten himself and me so as to offer me to one like you. You +come here with a lie on your lips--a lie against my father, to +swear his life away, against my dear cousin's honor and love. It +is useless now to deny it: father, I love Pierre Ancel; I will +marry no other but him--no, though our last penny were paid to this +man as the price of our freedom." + +Schneider's only reply to this was a call to his friend Gregoire. + +"Send down to the village for the maire and some gendarmes; and +tell your people to make ready." + +"Shall I put THE MACHINE up?" shouted he of the sentimental turn. + +"You hear him," said Schneider; "Marie Ancel, you may decide the +fate of your father. I shall return in a few hours," concluded he, +"and will then beg to know your decision." + +The advocate of the rights of man then left the apartment, and left +the family, as you may imagine, in no very pleasant mood. + +Old uncle Jacob, during the few minutes which had elapsed in the +enactment of this strange scene, sat staring wildly at Schneider, +and holding Mary on his knees: the poor little thing had fled to +him for protection, and not to her father, who was kneeling almost +senseless at the window, gazing at the executioner and his hideous +preparations. The instinct of the poor girl had not failed her; +she knew that Jacob was her only protector, if not of her life-- +heaven bless him!--of her honor. "Indeed," the old man said, in a +stout voice, "this must never be, my dearest child--you must not +marry this man. If it be the will of Providence that we fall, we +shall have at least the thought to console us that we die innocent. +Any man in France at a time like this, would be a coward and +traitor if he feared to meet the fate of the thousand brave and +good who have preceded us." + +"Who speaks of dying?" said Edward. "You, Brother Jacob?--you +would not lay that poor girl's head on the scaffold, or mine, your +dear brother's. You will not let us die, Mary; you will not, for a +small sacrifice, bring your poor old father into danger?" + +Mary made no answer. "Perhaps," she said, "there is time for +escape: he is to be here but in two hours; in two hours we may be +safe, in concealment, or on the frontier." And she rushed to the +door of the chamber, as if she would have instantly made the +attempt: two gendarmes were at the door. "We have orders, +Mademoiselle," they said, "to allow no one to leave this apartment +until the return of the citizen Schneider." + +Alas! all hope of escape was impossible. Mary became quite silent +for a while; she would not speak to uncle Jacob; and, in reply to +her father's eager questions, she only replied, coldly, that she +would answer Schneider when he arrived. + +The two dreadful hours passed away only too quickly; and, punctual +to his appointment, the ex-monk appeared. Directly he entered, +Mary advanced to him, and said, calmly,-- + +"Sir, I could not deceive you if I said that I freely accepted the +offer which you have made me. I will be your wife; but I tell you +that I love another; and that it is only to save the lives of those +two old men that I yield my person up to you." + +Schneider bowed, and said,-- + +"It is bravely spoken. I like your candor--your beauty. As for +the love, excuse me for saying that is a matter of total +indifference. I have no doubt, however, that it will come as soon +as your feelings in favor of the young gentleman, your cousin, have +lost their present fervor. That engaging young man has, at +present, another mistress--Glory. He occupies, I believe, the +distinguished post of corporal in a regiment which is about to +march to--Perpignan, I believe." + +It was, in fact, Monsieur Schneider’s polite intention to banish +me as far as possible from the place of my birth; and he had, +accordingly, selected the Spanish frontier as the spot where I was +to display my future military talents. + +Mary gave no answer to this sneer: she seemed perfectly resigned +and calm: she only said,-- + +"I must make, however, some conditions regarding our proposed +marriage, which a gentleman of Monsieur Schneider’s gallantry +cannot refuse." + +"Pray command me," replied the husband elect. "Fair lady, you know +I am your slave." + +"You occupy a distinguished political rank, citizen representative," +said she; "and we in our village are likewise known and beloved. I +should be ashamed, I confess, to wed you here; for our people would +wonder at the sudden marriage, and imply that it was only by +compulsion that I gave you my hand. Let us, then, perform this +ceremony at Strasburg, before the public authorities of the city, +with the state and solemnity which befits the marriage of one of the +chief men of the Republic." + +"Be it so, madam," he answered, and gallantly proceeded to embrace +his bride. + +Mary did not shrink from this ruffian’s kiss; nor did she reply +when poor old Jacob, who sat sobbing in a corner, burst out, and +said,-- + +"O Mary, Mary, I did not think this of thee!" + +"Silence, brother!" hastily said Edward; "my good son-in-law will +pardon your ill-humor." + +I believe uncle Edward in his heart was pleased at the notion of +the marriage; he only cared for money and rank, and was little +scrupulous as to the means of obtaining them. + +The matter then was finally arranged; and presently, after +Schneider had transacted the affairs which brought him into that +part of the country, the happy bridal party set forward for +Strasburg. Uncles Jacob and Edward occupied the back seat of the +old family carriage, and the young bride and bridegroom (he was +nearly Jacob’s age) were seated majestically in front. Mary has +often since talked to me of this dreadful journey. She said she +wondered at the scrupulous politeness of Schneider during the +route; nay, that at another period she could have listened to and +admired the singular talent of this man, his great learning, his +fancy, and wit; but her mind was bent upon other things, and the +poor girl firmly thought that her last day was come. + +In the meantime, by a blessed chance, I had not ridden three +leagues from Strasburg, when the officer of a passing troop of a +cavalry regiment, looking at the beast on which I was mounted, was +pleased to take a fancy to it, and ordered me, in an authoritative +tone, to descend, and to give up my steed for the benefit of the +Republic. I represented to him, in vain, that I was a soldier, +like himself, and the bearer of despatches to Paris. "Fool!" he +said; "do you think they would send despatches by a man who can +ride at best but ten leagues a day?" And the honest soldier was so +wroth at my supposed duplicity, that he not only confiscated my +horse, but my saddle, and the little portmanteau which contained +the chief part of my worldly goods and treasure. I had nothing +for it but to dismount, and take my way on foot back again to +Strasburg. I arrived there in the evening, determining the next +morning to make my case known to the citizen St. Just; and though I +made my entry without a sou, I don’t know what secret exultation I +felt at again being able to return. + +The ante-chamber of such a great man as St. Just was, in those +days, too crowded for an unprotected boy to obtain an early +audience; two days passed before I could obtain a sight of the +friend of Robespierre. On the third day, as I was still waiting +for the interview, I heard a great bustle in the courtyard of the +house, and looked out with many others at the spectacle. + +A number of men and women, singing epithalamiums, and dressed in +some absurd imitation of Roman costume, a troop of soldiers and +gendarmerie, and an immense crowd of the badauds of Strasburg, were +surrounding a carriage which then entered the court of the +mayoralty. In this carriage, great God! I saw my dear Mary, and +Schneider by her side. The truth instantly came upon me: the +reason for Schneider’s keen inquiries and my abrupt dismissal; but +I could not believe that Mary was false to me. I had only to look +in her face, white and rigid as marble, to see that this proposed +marriage was not with her consent. + +I fell back in the crowd as the procession entered the great room +in which I was, and hid my face in my hands: I could not look upon +her as the wife of another,--upon her so long loved and truly--the +saint of my childhood--the pride and hope of my youth--torn from me +for ever, and delivered over to the unholy arms of the murderer who +stood before me. + +The door of St. Just’s private apartment opened, and he took his +seat at the table of mayoralty just as Schneider and his cortege +arrived before it. + +Schneider then said that he came in before the authorities of the +Republic to espouse the citoyenne Marie Ancel. + +"Is she a minor?" asked St. Just. + +"She is a minor, but her father is here to give her away." + +"I am here," said uncle Edward, coming eagerly forward and bowing. +"Edward Ancel, so please you, citizen representative. The worthy +citizen Schneider has done me the honor of marrying into my +family." + +"But my father has not told you the terms of the marriage," said +Mary, interrupting him, in a loud, clear voice. + +Here Schneider seized her hand, and endeavored to prevent her from +speaking. Her father turned pale, and cried, "Stop, Mary, stop! +For heaven’s sake, remember your poor old father’s danger!" + +"Sir, may I speak?" + +"Let the young woman speak," said St. Just, "if she have a desire +to talk." He did not suspect what would be the purport of her +story. + +"Sir," she said, "two days since the citizen Schneider entered for +the first time our house; and you will fancy that it must be a love +of very sudden growth which has brought either him or me before you +to-day. He had heard from a person who is now unhappily not +present, of my name and of the wealth which my family was said to +possess; and hence arose this mad design concerning me. He came +into our village with supreme power, an executioner at his heels, +and the soldiery and authorities of the district entirely under his +orders. He threatened my father with death if he refused to give +up his daughter; and I, who knew that there was no chance of +escape, except here before you, consented to become his wife. My +father I know to be innocent, for all his transactions with the +State have passed through my hands. Citizen representative, I +demand to be freed from this marriage; and I charge Schneider as a +traitor to the Republic, as a man who would have murdered an +innocent citizen for the sake of private gain." + +During the delivery of this little speech, uncle Jacob had been +sobbing and panting like a broken-winded horse; and when Mary had +done, he rushed up to her and kissed her, and held her tight in his +arms. "Bless thee, my child!" he cried, "for having had the +courage to speak the truth, and shame thy old father and me, who +dared not say a word." + +"The girl amazes me," said Schneider, with a look of astonishment. +"I never saw her, it is true, till yesterday; but I used no force: +her father gave her to me with his free consent, and she yielded as +gladly. Speak, Edward Ancel, was it not so?" + +"It was, indeed, by my free consent," said Edward, trembling. + +"For shame, brother!" cried old Jacob. "Sir, it was by Edward’s +free consent and my niece’s; but the guillotine was in the court- +yard! Question Schneider’s famulus, the man Gregoire, him who +reads ‘The Sorrows of Werter.’" + +Gregoire stepped forward, and looked hesitatingly at Schneider, as +he said, "I know not what took place within doors; but I was +ordered to put up the scaffold without; and I was told to get +soldiers, and let no one leave the house." + +"Citizen St. Just," cried Schneider, "you will not allow the +testimony of a ruffian like this, of a foolish girl, and a mad ex- +priest, to weigh against the word of one who has done such service +to the Republic: it is a base conspiracy to betray me; the whole +family is known to favor the interest of the emigres." + +"And therefore you would marry a member of the family, and allow +the others to escape; you must make a better defence, citizen +Schneider," said St. Just, sternly. + +Here I came forward, and said that, three days since, I had +received an order to quit Strasburg for Paris immediately after a +conversation with Schneider, in which I had asked him his aid in +promoting my marriage with my cousin, Mary Ancel; that he had heard +from me full accounts regarding her father’s wealth; and that he +had abruptly caused my dismissal, in order to carry on his scheme +against her. + +"You are in the uniform of a regiment of this town; who sent you +from it?" said St. Just. + +I produced the order, signed by himself, and the despatches which +Schneider had sent me. + +"The signature is mine, but the despatches did not come from my +office. Can you prove in any way your conversation with Schneider?" + +"Why," said my sentimental friend Gregoire, "for the matter of +that, I can answer that the lad was always talking about this young +woman: he told me the whole story himself, and many a good laugh I +had with citizen Schneider as we talked about it." + +"The charge against Edward Ancel must be examined into," said St. +Just. "The marriage cannot take place. But if I had ratified it, +Mary Ancel, what then would have been your course?" + +Mary felt for a moment in her bosom, and said--"He would have died +to-night--I would have stabbed him with this dagger."* + + +* This reply, and, indeed, the whole of the story, is historical. +An account, by Charles Nodier, in the Revue de Paris, suggested it +to the writer. + + +The rain was beating down the streets, and yet they were thronged; +all the world was hastening to the market-place, where the worthy +Gregoire was about to perform some of the pleasant duties of his +office. On this occasion, it was not death that he was to inflict; +he was only to expose a criminal who was to be sent on afterwards +to Paris. St. Just had ordered that Schneider should stand for six +hours in the public place of Strasburg, and then be sent on to the +capital to be dealt with as the authorities might think fit. + +The people followed with execrations the villain to his place of +punishment; and Gregoire grinned as he fixed up to the post the man +whose orders he had obeyed so often--who had delivered over to +disgrace and punishment so many who merited it not. + +Schneider was left for several hours exposed to the mockery and +insults of the mob; he was then, according to his sentence, marched +on to Paris, where it is probable that he would have escaped death, +but for his own fault. He was left for some time in prison, quite +unnoticed, perhaps forgotten: day by day fresh victims were carried +to the scaffold, and yet the Alsacian tribune remained alive; at +last, by the mediation of one of his friends, a long petition was +presented to Robespierre, stating his services and his innocence, +and demanding his freedom. The reply to this was an order for his +instant execution: the wretch died in the last days of Robespierre’s +reign. His comrade, St. Just, followed him, as you know; but Edward +Ancel had been released before this, for the action of my brave Mary +had created a strong feeling in his favor. + +"And Mary?" said I. + +Here a stout and smiling old lady entered the Captain’s little +room: she was leaning on the arm of a military-looking man of some +forty years, and followed by a number of noisy, rosy children. + +"This is Mary Ancel," said the Captain, "and I am Captain Pierre, +and yonder is the Colonel, my son; and you see us here assembled in +force, for it is the fete of little Jacob yonder, whose brothers +and sisters have all come from their schools to dance at his +birthday." + + + + +BEATRICE MERGER. + + +Beatrice Merger, whose name might figure at the head of one of Mr. +Colburn’s politest romances--so smooth and aristocratic does it +sound--is no heroine, except of her own simple history; she is not +a fashionable French Countess, nor even a victim of the Revolution. + +She is a stout, sturdy girl of two-and-twenty, with a face beaming +with good nature, and marked dreadfully by smallpox; and a pair of +black eyes, which might have done some execution had they been +placed in a smoother face. Beatrice’s station in society is not +very exalted; she is a servant of all-work: she will dress your +wife, your dinner, your children; she does beefsteaks and plain +work; she makes beds, blacks boots, and waits at table;--such, at +least, were the offices which she performed in the fashionable +establishment of the writer of this book: perhaps her history may +not inaptly occupy a few pages of it. + +"My father died," said Beatrice, "about six years since, and left +my poor mother with little else but a small cottage and a strip of +land, and four children too young to work. It was hard enough in +my father’s time to supply so many little mouths with food; and how +was a poor widowed woman to provide for them now, who had neither +the strength nor the opportunity for labor? + +"Besides us, to be sure, there was my old aunt; and she would have +helped us, but she could not, for the old woman is bed-ridden; so +she did nothing but occupy our best room, and grumble from morning +till night: heaven knows, poor old soul, that she had no great +reason to be very happy; for you know, sir, that it frets the +temper to be sick; and that it is worse still to be sick and hungry +too. + +"At that time, in the country where we lived (in Picardy, not very +far from Boulogne), times were so bad that the best workman could +hardly find employ; and when he did, he was happy if he could earn +a matter of twelve sous a day. Mother, work as she would, could +not gain more than six; and it was a hard job, out of this, to put +meat into six bellies, and clothing on six backs. Old Aunt Bridget +would scold, as she got her portion of black bread; and my little +brothers used to cry if theirs did not come in time. I, too, used +to cry when I got my share; for mother kept only a little, little +piece for herself, and said that she had dined in the fields,--God +pardon her for the lie! and bless her, as I am sure He did; for, +but for Him, no working man or woman could subsist upon such a +wretched morsel as my dear mother took. + +"I was a thin, ragged, barefooted girl, then, and sickly and weak +for want of food; but I think I felt mother’s hunger more than my +own: and many and many a bitter night I lay awake, crying, and +praying to God to give me means of working for myself and aiding +her. And he has, indeed, been good to me," said pious Beatrice, +"for He has given me all this! + +"Well, time rolled on, and matters grew worse than ever: winter +came, and was colder to us than any other winter, for our clothes +were thinner and more torn; mother sometimes could find no work, +for the fields in which she labored were hidden under the snow; so +that when we wanted them most we had them least--warmth, work, or +food. + +"I knew that, do what I would, mother would never let me leave her, +because I looked to my little brothers and my old cripple of an +aunt; but still, bread was better for us than all my service; and +when I left them the six would have a slice more; so I determined +to bid good-by to nobody, but to go away, and look for work +elsewhere. One Sunday, when mother and the little ones were at +church, I went in to Aunt Bridget, and said, ‘Tell mother, when she +comes back, that Beatrice is gone.’ I spoke quite stoutly, as if I +did not care about it. + +"‘Gone! gone where?’ said she. ‘You ain’t going to leave me alone, +you nasty thing; you ain’t going to the village to dance, you +ragged, barefooted slut: you’re all of a piece in this house--your +mother, your brothers, and you. I know you’ve got meat in the +kitchen, and you only give me black bread;’ and here the old lady +began to scream as if her heart would break; but we did not mind +it, we were so used to it. + +"'Aunt,' said I, 'I'm going, and took this very opportunity because +you WERE alone: tell mother I am too old now to eat her bread, and +do no work for it: I am going, please God, where work and bread can +be found:' and so I kissed her: she was so astonished that she +could not move or speak; and I walked away through the old room, +and the little garden, God knows whither! + +"I heard the old woman screaming after me, but I did not stop nor +turn round. I don't think I could, for my heart was very full; and +if I had gone back again, I should never have had the courage to go +away. So I walked a long, long way, until night fell; and I +thought of poor mother coming home from mass, and not finding me; +and little Pierre shouting out, in his clear voice, for Beatrice to +bring him his supper. I think I should like to have died that +night, and I thought I should too; for when I was obliged to throw +myself on the cold, hard ground, my feet were too torn and weary to +bear me any further. + +"Just then the moon got up; and do you know I felt a comfort in +looking at it, for I knew it was shining on our little cottage, and +it seemed like an old friend's face? A little way on, as I saw by +the moon, was a village: and I saw, too, that a man was coming +towards me; he must have heard me crying, I suppose. + +"Was not God good to me? This man was a farmer, who had need of a +girl in his house; he made me tell him why I was alone, and I told +him the same story I have told you, and he believed me and took me +home. I had walked six long leagues from our village that day, +asking everywhere for work in vain; and here, at bedtime, I found a +bed and a supper! + +"Here I lived very well for some months; my master was very good +and kind to me; but, unluckily, too poor to give me any wages; so +that I could save nothing to send to my poor mother. My mistress +used to scold; but I was used to that at home, from Aunt Bridget: +and she beat me sometimes, but I did not mind it; for your hardy +country girl is not like your tender town lasses, who cry if a pin +pricks them, and give warning to their mistresses at the first hard +word. The only drawback to my comfort was, that I had no news of +my mother; I could not write to her, nor could she have read my +letter, if I had; so there I was, at only six leagues' distance +from home, as far off as if I had been to Paris or to 'Merica. + +"However, in a few months I grew so listless and homesick, that my +mistress said she would keep me no longer; and though I went away +as poor as I came, I was still too glad to go back to the old +village again, and see dear mother, if it were but for a day. I +knew she would share her crust with me, as she had done for so long +a time before; and hoped that, now, as I was taller and stronger, I +might find work more easily in the neighborhood. + +"You may fancy what a fete it was when I came back; though I'm sure +we cried as much as if it had been a funeral. Mother got into a +fit, which frightened us all; and as for Aunt Bridget, she SKREELED +away for hours together, and did not scold for two days at least. +Little Pierre offered me the whole of his supper; poor little man! +his slice of bread was no bigger than before I went away. + +"Well, I got a little work here and a little there; but still I was +a burden at home rather than a bread-winner; and, at the closing-in +of the winter, was very glad to hear of a place at two leagues' +distance, where work, they said, was to be had. Off I set, one +morning, to find it, but missed my way, somehow, until it was +night-time before I arrived. Night-time and snow again; it seemed +as if all my journeys were to be made in this bitter weather. + +"When I came to the farmer's door, his house was shut up, and his +people all a-bed; I knocked for a long while in vain; at last he +made his appearance at a window up stairs, and seemed so frightened, +and looked so angry that I suppose he took me for a thief. I told +him how I had come for work. 'Who comes for work at such an hour?' +said he. 'Go home, you impudent baggage, and do not disturb honest +people out of their sleep.' He banged the window to; and so I was +left alone to shift for myself as I might. There was no shed, no +cow-house, where I could find a bed; so I got under a cart, on some +straw; it was no very warm berth. I could not sleep for the cold: +and the hours passed so slowly, that it seemed as if I had been +there a week instead of a night; but still it was not so bad as the +first night when I left home, and when the good farmer found me. + +"In the morning, before it was light, the farmer's people came out, +and saw me crouching under the cart: they told me to get up; but I +was so cold that I could not: at last the man himself came, and +recognized me as the girl who had disturbed him the night before. +When he heard my name, and the purpose for which I came, this good +man took me into the house, and put me into one of the beds out of +which his sons had just got; and, if I was cold before, you may be +sure I was warm and comfortable now! such a bed as this I had never +slept in, nor ever did I have such good milk-soup as he gave me out +of his own breakfast. Well, he agreed to hire me; and what do you +think he gave me?--six sous a day! and let me sleep in the cow- +house besides: you may fancy how happy I was now, at the prospect +of earning so much money. + +"There was an old woman among the laborers who used to sell us +soup: I got a cupful every day for a half-penny, with a bit of +bread in it; and might eat as much beet-root besides as I liked; +not a very wholesome meal, to be sure, but God took care that it +should not disagree with me. + +"So, every Saturday, when work was over, I had thirty sous to carry +home to mother; and tired though I was, I walked merrily the two +leagues to our village, to see her again. On the road there was a +great wood to pass through, and this frightened me; for if a thief +should come and rob me of my whole week's earnings, what could a +poor lone girl do to help herself? But I found a remedy for this +too, and no thieves ever came near me; I used to begin saying my +prayers as I entered the forest, and never stopped until I was safe +at home; and safe I always arrived, with my thirty sons in my +pocket. Ah! you may be sure, Sunday was a merry day for us all." + + +This is the whole of Beatrice's history which is worthy of +publication; the rest of it only relates to her arrival in Paris, +and the various masters and mistresses whom she there had the honor +to serve. As soon as she enters the capital the romance +disappears, and the poor girl's sufferings and privations luckily +vanish with it. Beatrice has got now warm gowns, and stout shoes, +and plenty of good food. She has had her little brother from +Picardy; clothed, fed, and educated him: that young gentleman is +now a carpenter, and an honor to his profession. Madame Merger is +in easy circumstances, and receives, yearly, fifty francs from her +daughter. To crown all, Mademoiselle Beatrice herself is a funded +proprietor, and consulted the writer of this biography as to the +best method of laying out a capital of two hundred francs, which is +the present amount of her fortune. + +God bless her! she is richer than his Grace the Duke of Devonshire; +and, I dare say, has, in her humble walk, been more virtuous and +more happy than all the dukes in the realm. + +It is, indeed, for the benefit of dukes and such great people (who, +I make no doubt, have long since ordered copies of these Sketches), +that poor little Beatrice's story has been indited. Certain it is, +that the young woman would never have been immortalized in this +way, but for the good which her betters may derive from her +example. If your ladyship will but reflect a little, after +boasting of the sums which you spend in charity; the beef and +blankets which you dole out at Christmas; the poonah-painting which +you execute for fancy fairs; the long, long sermons which you +listen to at St. George's, the whole year through;--your ladyship, +I say, will allow that, although perfectly meritorious in your +line, as a patroness of the Church of England, of Almack's, and of +the Lying-in Asylum, yours is but a paltry sphere of virtue, a +pitiful attempt at benevolence, and that this honest servant-girl +puts you to shame! And you, my Lord Bishop: do you, out of your +six sous a day, give away five to support your flock and family? +Would you drop a single coach-horse (I do not say, A DINNER, for +such a notion is monstrous, in one of your lordship's degree), to +feed any one of the starving children of your lordship's mother-- +the Church? + +I pause for a reply. His lordship took too much turtle and cold +punch for dinner yesterday, and cannot speak just now: but we have, +by this ingenious question, silenced him altogether: let the world +wag as it will, and poor Christians and curates starve as they may, +my lord's footmen must have their new liveries, and his horses +their four feeds a day. + + +When we recollect his speech about the Catholics--when we remember +his last charity sermon,--but I say nothing. Here is a poor +benighted superstitious creature, worshipping images, without a rag +to her tail, who has as much faith, and humility, and charity as +all the reverend bench. + + +This angel is without a place; and for this reason (besides the +pleasure of composing the above slap at episcopacy)--I have indited +her history. If the Bishop is going to Paris, and wants a good +honest maid-of-all-work, he can have her, I have no doubt; or if he +chooses to give a few pounds to her mother, they can be sent to Mr. +Titmarsh, at the publisher's. + +Here is Miss Merger's last letter and autograph. The note was +evidently composed by an Ecrivain public:-- + + +"Madame,--Ayant apris par ce Monsieur, que vous vous portiez bien, +ainsi que Monsieur, ayant su aussi que vous parliez de moi dans +votre lettre cette nouvelle m'a fait bien plaisir Je profite de +l'occasion pour vous faire passer ce petit billet ou Je voudrais +pouvoir m'enveloper pour aller vous voir et pour vous dire que Je +suis encore sans place Je m'ennuye tojours de ne pas vous voir +ainsi que Minette (Minette is a cat) qui semble m'interroger tour a +tour et demander ou vous etes. Je vous envoye aussi la note du +linge a blanchir--ah, Madame! Je vais cesser de vous ecrire mais +non de vous regretter." + +Beatrice Merger. + + + + +CARICATURES AND LITHOGRAPHY IN PARIS. + + +Fifty years ago there lived at Munich a poor fellow, by name Aloys +Senefelder, who was in so little repute as an author and artist, +that printers and engravers refused to publish his works at their +own charges, and so set him upon some plan for doing without their +aid. In the first place, Aloys invented a certain kind of ink, +which would resist the action of the acid that is usually employed +by engravers, and with this he made his experiments upon copper- +plates, as long as he could afford to purchase them. He found that +to write upon the plates backwards, after the manner of engravers, +required much skill and many trials; and he thought that, were he +to practise upon any other polished surface--a smooth stone, for +instance, the least costly article imaginable--he might spare the +expense of the copper until he had sufficient skill to use it. + +One day, it is said, that Aloys was called upon to write--rather a +humble composition for an author and artist--a washing-bill. He +had no paper at hand, and so he wrote out the bill with some of his +newly-invented ink upon one of his Kelheim stones. Some time +afterwards he thought he would try and take an IMPRESSION of his +washing-bill: he did, and succeeded. Such is the story, which the +reader most likely knows very well; and having alluded to the +origin of the art, we shall not follow the stream through its +windings and enlargement after it issued from the little parent +rock, or fill our pages with the rest of the pedigree. Senefelder +invented Lithography. His invention has not made so much noise and +larum in the world as some others, which have an origin quite as +humble and unromantic; but it is one to which we owe no small +profit, and a great deal of pleasure; and, as such, we are bound to +speak of it with all gratitude and respect. The schoolmaster, who +is now abroad, has taught us, in our youth, how the cultivation of +art "emollit mores nec sinit esse"--(it is needless to finish the +quotation); and Lithography has been, to our thinking, the very +best ally that art ever had; the best friend of the artist, +allowing him to produce rapidly multiplied and authentic copies of +his own works (without trusting to the tedious and expensive +assistance of the engraver); and the best friend to the people +likewise, who have means of purchasing these cheap and beautiful +productions, and thus having their ideas "mollified" and their +manners "feros" no more. + +With ourselves, among whom money is plenty, enterprise so great, +and everything matter of commercial speculation, Lithography has +not been so much practised as wood or steel engraving; which, by +the aid of great original capital and spread of sale, are able more +than to compete with the art of drawing on stone. The two former +may be called art done by MACHINERY. We confess to a prejudice in +favor of the honest work of HAND, in matters of art, and prefer the +rough workmanship of the painter to the smooth copies of his +performances which are produced, for the most part, on the wood- +block or the steel-plate. + +The theory will possibly be objected to by many of our readers: the +best proof in its favor, we think, is, that the state of art +amongst the people in France and Germany, where publishers are not +so wealthy or enterprising as with us,* and where Lithography is +more practised, is infinitely higher than in England, and the +appreciation more correct. As draughtsmen, the French and German +painters are incomparably superior to our own; and with art, as +with any other commodity, the demand will be found pretty equal to +the supply: with us, the general demand is for neatness, prettiness, +and what is called EFFECT in pictures, and these can be rendered +completely, nay, improved, by the engraver's conventional manner of +copying the artist's performances. But to copy fine expression and +fine drawing, the engraver himself must be a fine artist; and let +anybody examine the host of picture-books which appear every +Christmas, and say whether, for the most part, painters or engravers +possess any artistic merit? We boast, nevertheless, of some of the +best engravers and painters in Europe. Here, again, the supply is +accounted for by the demand; our highest class is richer than any +other aristocracy, quite as well instructed, and can judge and pay +for fine pictures and engravings. But these costly productions are +for the few, and not for the many, who have not yet certainly +arrived at properly appreciating fine art. + + +* These countries are, to be sure, inundated with the productions +of our market, in the shape of Byron Beauties, reprints from the +"Keepsakes," "Books of Beauty," and such trash; but these are only +of late years, and their original schools of art are still +flourishing. + + +Take the standard "Album" for instance--that unfortunate collection +of deformed Zuleikas and Medoras (from the "Byron Beauties"), the +Flowers, Gems, Souvenirs, Caskets of Loveliness, Beauty, as they +way be called; glaring caricatures of flowers, singly, in groups, +in flower-pots, or with hideous deformed little Cupids sporting +among them; of what are called "mezzotinto," pencil-drawings, +"poonah-paintings," and what not. "The Album" is to be found +invariably upon the round rosewood brass-inlaid drawing-room table +of the middle classes, and with a couple of "Annuals" besides, +which flank it on the same table, represents the art of the house; +perhaps there is a portrait of the master of the house in the +dining-room, grim-glancing from above the mantel-piece; and of the +mistress over the piano up stairs; add to these some odious +miniatures of the sons and daughters, on each side of the chimney- +glass; and here, commonly (we appeal to the reader if this is an +overcharged picture), the collection ends. The family goes to the +Exhibition once a year, to the National Gallery once in ten years: +to the former place they have an inducement to go; there are their +own portraits, or the portraits of their friends, or the portraits +of public characters; and you will see them infallibly wondering +over No. 2645 in the catalogue, representing "The Portrait of a +Lady," or of the "First Mayor of Little Pedlington since the +passing of the Reform Bill;" or else bustling and squeezing among +the miniatures, where lies the chief attraction of the Gallery. +England has produced, owing to the effects of this class of +admirers of art, two admirable, and five hundred very clever, +portrait painters. How many ARTISTS? Let the reader count upon +his five fingers, and see if, living at the present moment, he can +name one for each. + +If, from this examination of our own worthy middle classes, we look +to the same class in France, what a difference do we find! Humble +cafe's in country towns have their walls covered with pleasing +picture papers, representing "Les Gloires de l'Armee Francaise," +the "Seasons," the "Four Quarters of the World," "Cupid and +Psyche," or some other allegory, landscape or history, rudely +painted, as papers for walls usually are; but the figures are all +tolerably well drawn; and the common taste, which has caused a +demand for such things, is undeniable. In Paris, the manner in +which the cafes and houses of the restaurateurs are ornamented, is, +of course, a thousand times richer, and nothing can be more +beautiful, or more exquisitely finished and correct, than the +designs which adorn many of them. We are not prepared to say what +sums were expended upon the painting of "Very's" or "Vefour's," of +the "Salle Musard," or of numberless other places of public resort +in the capital. There is many a shop-keeper whose sign is a very +tolerable picture; and often have we stopped to admire (the reader +will give us credit for having remained OUTSIDE) the excellent +workmanship of the grapes and vine-leaves over the door of some +very humble, dirty, inodorous shop of a marchand de vin. + +These, however, serve only to educate the public taste, and are +ornaments for the most part much too costly for the people. But +the same love of ornament which is shown in their public places of +resort, appears in their houses likewise; and every one of our +readers who has lived in Paris, in any lodging, magnificent or +humble, with any family, however poor, may bear witness how +profusely the walls of his smart salon in the English quarter, or +of his little room au sixieme in the Pays Latin, has been decorated +with prints of all kinds. In the first, probably, with bad +engravings on copper from the bad and tawdry pictures of the +artists of the time of the Empire; in the latter, with gay +caricatures of Granville or Monnier: military pieces, such as are +dashed off by Raffet, Charlet, Vernet (one can hardly say which of +the three designers has the greatest merit, or the most vigorous +hand); or clever pictures from the crayon of the Deverias, the +admirable Roqueplan, or Decamp. We have named here, we believe, +the principal lithographic artists in Paris; and those--as +doubtless there are many--of our readers who have looked over +Monsieur Aubert's portfolios, or gazed at that famous caricature- +shop window in the Rue de Coq, or are even acquainted with the +exterior of Monsieur Delaporte's little emporium in the Burlington +Arcade, need not be told how excellent the productions of all these +artists are in their genre. We get in these engravings the loisirs +of men of genius, not the finikin performances of labored mediocrity, +as with us: all these artists are good painters, as well as good +designers; a design from them is worth a whole gross of Books of +Beauty; and if we might raise a humble supplication to the artists +in our own country of similar merit--to such men as Leslie, Maclise, +Herbert, Cattermole, and others--it would be, that they should, +after the example of their French brethren and of the English +landscape painters, take chalk in hand, produce their own copies of +their own sketches, and never more draw a single "Forsaken One," +"Rejected One," "Dejected One" at the entreaty of any publisher or +for the pages of any Book of Beauty, Royalty, or Loveliness +whatever. + +Can there be a more pleasing walk in the whole world than a stroll +through the Gallery of the Louvre on a fete-day; not to look so +much at the pictures as at the lookers-on? Thousands of the poorer +classes are there: mechanics in their Sunday clothes, smiling +grisettes, smart dapper soldiers of the line, with bronzed +wondering faces, marching together in little companies of six or +seven, and stopping every now and then at Napoleon or Leonidas as +they appear in proper vulgar heroics in the pictures of David or +Gros. The taste of these people will hardly be approved by the +connoisseur, but they have A taste for art. Can the same be said +of our lower classes, who, if they are inclined to be sociable and +amused in their holidays, have no place of resort but the tap-room +or tea-garden, and no food for conversation except such as can be +built upon the politics or the police reports of the last Sunday +paper? So much has Church and State puritanism done for us--so +well has it succeeded in materializing and binding down to the +earth the imagination of men, for which God has made another world +(which certain statesmen take but too little into account)--that +fair and beautiful world of heart, in which there CAN be nothing +selfish or sordid, of which Dulness has forgotten the existence, +and which Bigotry has endeavored to shut out from sight-- + + + "On a banni les demons et les fees, + Le raisonner tristement s'accredite: + On court, helas! apres la verite: + Ah! croyez moi, l'erreur a son merite!" + + +We are not putting in a plea here for demons and fairies, as +Voltaire does in the above exquisite lines; nor about to expatiate +on the beauties of error, for it has none; but the clank of steam- +engines, and the shouts of politicians, and the struggle for gain +or bread, and the loud denunciations of stupid bigots, have +wellnigh smothered poor Fancy among us. We boast of our science, +and vaunt our superior morality. Does the latter exist? In spite +of all the forms which our policy has invented to secure it--in +spite of all the preachers, all the meeting-houses, and all the +legislative enactments--if any person will take upon himself the +painful labor of purchasing and perusing some of the cheap +periodical prints which form the people's library of amusement, and +contain what may be presumed to be their standard in matters of +imagination and fancy, he will see how false the claim is that we +bring forward of superior morality. The aristocracy who are so +eager to maintain, were, of course, not the last to feel annoyance +of the legislative restrictions on the Sabbath, and eagerly seized +upon that happy invention for dissipating the gloom and ennui +ordered by Act of Parliament to prevail on that day--the Sunday +paper. It might be read in a club-room, where the poor could not +see how their betters ordained one thing for the vulgar, and +another for themselves; or in an easy-chair, in the study, whither +my lord retires every Sunday for his devotions. It dealt in +private scandal and ribaldry, only the more piquant for its pretty +flimsy veil of double-entendre. It was a fortune to the publisher, +and it became a necessary to the reader, which he could not do +without, any more than without his snuff-box, his opera-box, or his +chasse after coffee. The delightful novelty could not for any time +be kept exclusively for the haut ton; and from my lord it descended +to his valet or tradesmen, and from Grosvenor Square it spread all +the town through; so that now the lower classes have their scandal +and ribaldry organs, as well as their betters (the rogues, they +WILL imitate them!) and as their tastes are somewhat coarser than +my lord's, and their numbers a thousand to one, why of course the +prints have increased, and the profligacy has been diffused in a +ratio exactly proportionable to the demand, until the town is +infested with such a number of monstrous publications of the kind +as would have put Abbe Dubois to the blush, or made Louis XV. cry +shame. Talk of English morality!--the worst licentiousness, in the +worst period of the French monarchy, scarcely equalled the +wickedness of this Sabbath-keeping country of ours. + +The reader will be glad, at last, to come to the conclusion that +we would fain draw from all these descriptions--why does this +immorality exist? Because the people MUST be amused, and have not +been taught HOW; because the upper classes, frightened by stupid +cant, or absorbed in material wants, have not as yet learned the +refinement which only the cultivation of art can give; and when +their intellects are uneducated, and their tastes are coarse, the +tastes and amusements of classes still more ignorant must be coarse +and vicious likewise, in an increased proportion. + +Such discussions and violent attacks upon high and low, Sabbath +Bills, politicians, and what not, may appear, perhaps, out of place +in a few pages which purport only to give an account of some French +drawings: all we would urge is, that, in France, these prints are +made because they are liked and appreciated; with us they are not +made, because they are not liked and appreciated: and the more is +the pity. Nothing merely intellectual will be popular among us: we +do not love beauty for beauty's sake, as Germans; or wit, for wit's +sake, as the French: for abstract art we have no appreciation. We +admire H. B.'s caricatures, because they are the caricatures of +well-known political characters, not because they are witty; and +Boz, because he writes us good palpable stories (if we may use such +a word to a story); and Madame Vestris, because she has the most +beautifully shaped legs;--the ART of the designer, the writer, the +actress (each admirable in its way,) is a very minor consideration; +each might have ten times the wit, and would be quite unsuccessful +without their substantial points of popularity. + +In France such matters are far better managed, and the love of art +is a thousand times more keen; and (from this feeling, surely) how +much superiority is there in French SOCIETY over our own; how much +better is social happiness understood; how much more manly equality +is there between Frenchman and Frenchman, than between rich and +poor in our own country, with all our superior wealth, instruction, +and political freedom! There is, amongst the humblest, a gayety, +cheerfulness, politeness, and sobriety, to which, in England, no +class can show a parallel: and these, be it remembered, are not +only qualities for holidays, but for working-days too, and add to +the enjoyment of human life as much as good clothes, good beef, or +good wages. If, to our freedom, we could but add a little of their +happiness!--it is one, after all, of the cheapest commodities in +the world, and in the power of every man (with means of gaining +decent bread) who has the will or the skill to use it. + +We are not going to trace the history of the rise and progress of +art in France; our business, at present, is only to speak of one +branch of art in that country--lithographic designs, and those +chiefly of a humorous character. A history of French caricature +was published in Paris, two or three years back, illustrated by +numerous copies of designs, from the time of Henry III. to our own +day. We can only speak of this work from memory, having been +unable, in London, to procure the sight of a copy; but our +impression, at the time we saw the collection, was as unfavorable +as could possibly be: nothing could be more meagre than the wit, or +poorer than the execution, of the whole set of drawings. Under the +Empire, art, as may be imagined, was at a very low ebb; and, aping +the Government of the day, and catering to the national taste and +vanity, it was a kind of tawdry caricature of the sublime; of which +the pictures of David and Girodet, and almost the entire collection +now at the Luxembourg Palace, will give pretty fair examples. +Swollen, distorted, unnatural, the painting was something like the +politics of those days; with force in it, nevertheless, and +something of grandeur, that will exist in spite of taste, and is +born of energetic will. A man, disposed to write comparisons of +characters, might, for instance, find some striking analogies +between mountebank Murat, with his irresistible bravery and +horsemanship, who was a kind of mixture of Dugueselin and Ducrow, +and Mountebank David, a fierce, powerful painter and genius, whose +idea of beauty and sublimity seemed to have been gained from the +bloody melodramas on the Boulevard. Both, however, were great in +their way, and were worshipped as gods, in those heathen times of +false belief and hero-worship. + +As for poor caricature and freedom of the press, they, like the +rightful princess in a fairy tale, with the merry fantastic dwarf, +her attendant, were entirely in the power of the giant who ruled +the land. The Princess Press was so closely watched and guarded +(with some little show, nevertheless, of respect for her rank), +that she dared not utter a word of her own thoughts; and, for poor +Caricature, he was gagged, and put out of the way altogether: +imprisoned as completely as ever Asmodeus was in his phial. + +How the Press and her attendant fared in succeeding reigns, is well +known; their condition was little bettered by the downfall of +Napoleon: with the accession of Charles X. they were more oppressed +even than before--more than they could bear; for so hard were they +pressed, that, as one has seen when sailors are working a capstan, +back of a sudden the bars flew, knocking to the earth the men who +were endeavoring to work them. The Revolution came, and up sprung +Caricature in France; all sorts of fierce epigrams were discharged +at the flying monarch, and speedily were prepared, too, for the new +one. + +About this time there lived at Paris (if our information be +correct) a certain M. Philipon, an indifferent artist (painting was +his profession), a tolerable designer, and an admirable wit. M. +Philipon designed many caricatures himself, married the sister of +an eminent publisher of prints (M. Aubert), and the two, gathering +about them a body of wits and artists like themselves, set up +journals of their own:--La Caricature, first published once a week; +and the Charivari afterwards, a daily paper, in which a design also +appears daily. + +At first the caricatures inserted in the Charivari were chiefly +political; and a most curious contest speedily commenced between +the State and M. Philipon's little army in the Galerie Vero-Dodat. +Half a dozen poor artists on the one side, and his Majesty Louis +Philippe, his august family, and the numberless placemen and +supporters of the monarchy, on the other; it was something like +Thersites girding at Ajax, and piercing through the folds of the +clypei septemplicis with the poisonous shafts of his scorn. Our +French Thersites was not always an honest opponent, it must be +confessed; and many an attack was made upon the gigantic enemy, +which was cowardly, false, and malignant. But to see the monster +writhing under the effects of the arrow--to see his uncouth fury in +return, and the blind blows that he dealt at his diminutive +opponent!--not one of these told in a hundred; when they DID tell, +it may be imagined that they were fierce enough in all conscience, +and served almost to annihilate the adversary. + +To speak more plainly, and to drop the metaphor of giant and dwarf, +the King of the French suffered so much, his Ministers were so +mercilessly ridiculed, his family and his own remarkable figure +drawn with such odious and grotesque resemblance, in fanciful +attitudes, circumstances, and disguises, so ludicrously mean, and +often so appropriate, that the King was obliged to descend into the +lists and battle his ridiculous enemy in form. Prosecutions, +seizures, fines, regiments of furious legal officials, were first +brought into play against poor M. Philipon and his little dauntless +troop of malicious artists; some few were bribed out of his ranks; +and if they did not, like Gilray in England, turn their weapons +upon their old friends, at least laid down their arms, and would +fight no more. The bribes, fines, indictments, and loud-tongued +avocats du roi made no impression; Philipon repaired the defeat of +a fine by some fresh and furious attack upon his great enemy; if +his epigrams were more covert, they were no less bitter; if he was +beaten a dozen times before a jury, he had eighty or ninety +victories to show in the same field of battle, and every victory +and every defeat brought him new sympathy. Every one who was at +Paris a few years since must recollect the famous "poire" which was +chalked upon all the walls of the city, and which bore so ludicrous +a resemblance to Louis Philippe. The poire became an object of +prosecution, and M. Philipon appeared before a jury to answer for +the crime of inciting to contempt against the King's person, by +giving such a ludicrous version of his face. Philipon, for +defence, produced a sheet of paper, and drew a poire, a real large +Burgundy pear: in the lower parts round and capacious, narrower +near the stalk, and crowned with two or three careless leaves. +"There was no treason in THAT," he said to the jury; "could any one +object to such a harmless botanical representation?" Then he drew +a second pear, exactly like the former, except that one or two +lines were scrawled in the midst of it, which bore somehow a +ludicrous resemblance to the eyes, nose, and mouth of a celebrated +personage; and, lastly, he drew the exact portrait of Louis +Philippe; the well-known toupet, the ample whiskers and jowl were +there, neither extenuated nor set down in malice. "Can I help it, +gentlemen of the jury, then," said he, "if his Majesty's face is +like a pear? Say yourselves, respectable citizens, is it, or is it +not, like a pear?" Such eloquence could not fail of its effect; +the artist was acquitted, and La poire is immortal. + +At last came the famous September laws: the freedom of the Press, +which, from August, 1830, was to be "desormais une verite," was +calmly strangled by the Monarch who had gained his crown for his +supposed championship of it; by his Ministers, some of whom had +been stout Republicans on paper but a few years before; and by the +Chamber, which, such is the blessed constitution of French +elections, will generally vote, unvote, revote in any way the +Government wishes. With a wondrous union, and happy forgetfulness +of principle, monarch, ministers, and deputies issued the +restriction laws; the Press was sent to prison; as for the poor +dear Caricature, it was fairly murdered. No more political satires +appear now, and "through the eye, correct the heart;" no more +poires ripen on the walls of the metropolis; Philipon's political +occupation is gone. + +But there is always food for satire; and the French caricaturists, +being no longer allowed to hold up to ridicule and reprobation the +King and the deputies, have found no lack of subjects for the +pencil in the ridicules and rascalities of common life. We have +said that public decency is greater amongst the French than amongst +us, which, to some of our readers, may appear paradoxical; but we +shall not attempt to argue that, in private roguery, our neighbors +are not our equals. The proces of Gisquet, which has appeared +lately in the papers, shows how deep the demoralization must be, +and how a Government, based itself on dishonesty (a tyranny, that +is, under the title and fiction of a democracy,) must practise and +admit corruption in its own and in its agents' dealings with the +nation. Accordingly, of cheating contracts, of ministers dabbling +with the funds, or extracting underhand profits for the granting of +unjust privileges and monopolies,--of grasping, envious police +restrictions, which destroy the freedom, and, with it, the +integrity of commerce,--those who like to examine such details may +find plenty in French history: the whole French finance system has +been a swindle from the days of Luvois, or Law, down to the present +time. The Government swindles the public, and the small traders +swindle their customers, on the authority and example of the +superior powers. Hence the art of roguery, under such high +patronage, maintains in France a noble front of impudence, and a +fine audacious openness, which it does not wear in our country. + +Among the various characters of roguery which the French satirists +have amused themselves by depicting, there is one of which the +GREATNESS (using the word in the sense which Mr. Jonathan Wild gave +to it) so far exceeds that of all others, embracing, as it does, +all in turn, that it has come to be considered the type of roguery +in general; and now, just as all the political squibs were made to +come of old from the lips of Pasquin, all the reflections on the +prevailing cant, knavery, quackery, humbug, are put into the mouth +of Monsieur Robert Macaire. + +A play was written, some twenty years since, called the "Auberge +des Adrets," in which the characters of two robbers escaped from +the galleys were introduced--Robert Macaire, the clever rogue above +mentioned, and Bertrand, the stupid rogue, his friend, accomplice, +butt, and scapegoat, on all occasions of danger. It is needless to +describe the play--a witless performance enough, of which the joke +was Macaire's exaggerated style of conversation, a farrago of all +sorts of high-flown sentiments such as the French love to indulge +in--contrasted with his actions, which were philosophically +unscrupulous, and his appearance, which was most picturesquely +sordid. The play had been acted, we believe, and forgotten, when a +very clever actor, M. Frederick Lemaitre, took upon himself the +performance of the character of Robert Macaire, and looked, spoke, +and acted it to such admirable perfection, that the whole town rung +with applauses of the performance, and the caricaturists delighted +to copy his singular figure and costume. M. Robert Macaire appears +in a most picturesque green coat, with a variety of rents and +patches, a pair of crimson pantaloons ornamented in the same way, +enormous whiskers and ringlets, an enormous stock and shirt-frill, +as dirty and ragged as stock and shirt-frill can be, the relic of a +hat very gayly cocked over one eye, and a patch to take away +somewhat from the brightness of the other--these are the principal +pieces of his costume--a snuff-box like a creaking warming-pan, a +handkerchief hanging together by a miracle, and a switch of about +the thickness of a man's thigh, formed the ornaments of this +exquisite personage. He is a compound of Fielding's "Blueskin" and +Goldsmith's "Beau Tibbs." He has the dirt and dandyism of the one, +with the ferocity of the other: sometimes he is made to swindle, +but where he can get a shilling more, M. Macaire will murder +without scruple: he performs one and the other act (or any in the +scale between them) with a similar bland imperturbability, and +accompanies his actions with such philosophical remarks as may be +expected from a person of his talents, his energies, his amiable +life and character. + +Bertrand is the simple recipient of Macaire's jokes, and makes +vicarious atonement for his crimes, acting, in fact, the part which +pantaloon performs in the pantomime, who is entirely under the +fatal influence of clown. He is quite as much a rogue as that +gentleman, but he has not his genius and courage. So, in +pantomimes, (it may, doubtless, have been remarked by the reader,) +clown always leaps first, pantaloon following after, more clumsily +and timidly than his bold and accomplished friend and guide. +Whatever blows are destined for clown, fall, by some means of ill- +luck, upon the pate of pantaloon: whenever the clown robs, the +stolen articles are sure to be found in his companion's pocket; and +thus exactly Robert Macaire and his companion Bertrand are made to +go through the world; both swindlers, but the one more accomplished +than the other. Both robbing all the world, and Robert robbing his +friend, and, in the event of danger, leaving him faithfully in the +lurch. There is, in the two characters, some grotesque good for +the spectator--a kind of "Beggars' Opera" moral. + +Ever since Robert, with his dandified rags and airs, his cane and +snuff-box, and Bertrand with torn surtout and all-absorbing pocket, +have appeared on the stage, they have been popular with the +Parisians; and with these two types of clever and stupid knavery, +M. Philipon and his companion Daumier have created a world of +pleasant satire upon all the prevailing abuses of the day. + +Almost the first figure that these audacious caricaturists dared to +depict was a political one: in Macaire's red breeches and tattered +coat appeared no less a personage than the King himself--the old +Poire--in a country of humbugs and swindlers the facile princeps; +fit to govern, as he is deeper than all the rogues in his +dominions. Bertrand was opposite to him, and having listened with +delight and reverence to some tale of knavery truly royal, was +exclaiming with a look and voice expressive of the most intense +admiration, "AH VIEUX BLAGEUR! va!"--the word blague is +untranslatable--it means FRENCH humbug as distinct from all other; +and only those who know the value of an epigram in France, an +epigram so wonderfully just, a little word so curiously +comprehensive, can fancy the kind of rage and rapture with which it +was received. It was a blow that shook the whole dynasty. +Thersites had there given such a wound to Ajax, as Hector in arms +could scarcely have inflicted: a blow sufficient almost to create +the madness to which the fabulous hero of Homer and Ovid fell a +prey. + +Not long, however, was French caricature allowed to attack +personages so illustrious: the September laws came, and henceforth +no more epigrams were launched against politics; but the +caricaturists were compelled to confine their satire to subjects +and characters that had nothing to do with the State. The Duke of +Orleans was no longer to figure in lithography as the fantastic +Prince Rosolin; no longer were multitudes (in chalk) to shelter +under the enormous shadow of M. d'Argout's nose: Marshal Loban's +squirt was hung up in peace, and M. Thiers's pigmy figure and round +spectacled face were no more to appear in print.* Robert Macaire +was driven out of the Chambers and the Palace--his remarks were a +great deal too appropriate and too severe for the ears of the great +men who congregated in those places. + + +* Almost all the principal public men had been most ludicrously +caricatured in the Charivari: those mentioned above were usually +depicted with the distinctive attributes mentioned by us. + + +The Chambers and the Palace were shut to him; but the rogue, driven +out of his rogue's paradise, saw "that the world was all before him +where to choose," and found no lack of opportunities for exercising +his wit. There was the Bar, with its roguish practitioners, +rascally attorneys, stupid juries, and forsworn judges; there was +the Bourse, with all its gambling, swindling, and hoaxing, its +cheats and its dupes; the Medical Profession, and the quacks who +ruled it, alternately; the Stage, and the cant that was prevalent +there; the Fashion, and its thousand follies and extravagances. +Robert Macaire had all these to exploiter. Of all the empire, +through all the ranks, professions, the lies, crimes, and +absurdities of men, he may make sport at will; of all except of a +certain class. Like Bluebeard's wife, he may see everything, but +is bidden TO BEWARE OF THE BLUE CHAMBER. Robert is more wise than +Bluebeard's wife, and knows that it would cost him his head to +enter it. Robert, therefore, keeps aloof for the moment. Would +there be any use in his martyrdom? Bluebeard cannot live for ever; +perhaps, even now, those are on their way (one sees a suspicious +cloud of dust or two) that are to destroy him. + +In the meantime Robert and his friend have been furnishing the +designs that we have before us, and of which perhaps the reader +will be edified by a brief description. We are not, to be sure, to +judge of the French nation by M. Macaire, any more than we are to +judge of our own national morals in the last century by such a book +as the "Beggars' Opera;" but upon the morals and the national +manners, works of satire afford a world of light that one would in +vain look for in regular books of history. Doctor Smollett would +have blushed to devote any considerable portion of his pages to a +discussion of the acts and character of Mr. Jonathan Wild, such a +figure being hardly admissible among the dignified personages who +usually push all others out from the possession of the historical +page; but a chapter of that gentleman's memoirs, as they are +recorded in that exemplary recueil--the "Newgate Calendar;" nay, a +canto of the great comic epic (involving many fables, and +containing much exaggeration, but still having the seeds of truth) +which the satirical poet of those days wrote in celebration of him-- +we mean Fielding's "History of Jonathan Wild the Great"--does seem +to us to give a more curious picture of the manners of those times +than any recognized history of them. At the close of his history +of George II., Smollett condescends to give a short chapter on +Literature and Manners. He speaks of Glover's "Leonidas," Cibber's +"Careless Husband," the poems of Mason, Gray, the two Whiteheads, +"the nervous style, extensive erudition, and superior sense of a +Corke; the delicate taste, the polished muse, and tender feeling of +a Lyttelton." "King," he says, "shone unrivalled in Roman +eloquence, the female sex distinguished themselves by their taste +and ingenuity. Miss Carter rivalled the celebrated Dacier in +learning and critical knowledge; Mrs. Lennox signalized herself by +many successful efforts of genius both in poetry and prose; and +Miss Reid excelled the celebrated Rosalba in portrait-painting, +both in miniature and at large, in oil as well as in crayons. The +genius of Cervantes was transferred into the novels of Fielding, +who painted the characters and ridiculed the follies of life with +equal strength, humor, and propriety. The field of history and +biography was cultivated by many writers of ability, among whom we +distinguish the copious Guthrie, the circumstantial Ralph, the +laborious Carte, the learned and elegant Robertson, and above all, +the ingenious, penetrating, and comprehensive Hume," &c. &c. We +will quote no more of the passage. Could a man in the best humor +sit down to write a graver satire? Who cares for the tender muse +of Lyttelton? Who knows the signal efforts of Mrs. Lennox's +genius? Who has seen the admirable performances, in miniature and +at large, in oil as well as in crayons, of Miss Reid? Laborious +Carte, and circumstantial Ralph, and copious Guthrie, where are +they, their works, and their reputation? Mrs. Lennox's name is +just as clean wiped out of the list of worthies as if she had never +been born; and Miss Reid, though she was once actual flesh and +blood, "rival in miniature and at large" of the celebrated Rosalba, +she is as if she had never been at all; her little farthing +rushlight of a soul and reputation having burnt out, and left +neither wick nor tallow. Death, too, has overtaken copious Guthrie +and circumstantial Ralph. Only a few know whereabouts is the grave +where lies laborious Carte; and yet, O wondrous power of genius! +Fielding's men and women are alive, though History's are not. The +progenitors of circumstantial Ralph sent forth, after much labor +and pains of making, educating, feeding, clothing, a real man +child, a great palpable mass of flesh, bones, and blood (we say +nothing about the spirit), which was to move through the world, +ponderous, writing histories, and to die, having achieved the title +of circumstantial Ralph; and lo! without any of the trouble that +the parents of Ralph had undergone, alone perhaps in a watch or +spunging-house, fuddled most likely, in the blandest, easiest, and +most good-humored way in the world, Henry Fielding makes a number +of men and women on so many sheets of paper, not only more amusing +than Ralph or Miss Reid, but more like flesh and blood, and more +alive now than they. Is not Amelia preparing her husband's little +supper? Is not Miss Snapp chastely preventing the crime of Mr. +Firebrand? Is not Parson Adams in the midst of his family, and Mr. +Wild taking his last bowl of punch with the Newgate Ordinary? Is +not every one of them a real substantial HAVE-been personage now-- +more real than Reid or Ralph? For our parts, we will not take upon +ourselves to say that they do not exist somewhere else: that the +actions attributed to them have not really taken place; certain we +are that they are more worthy of credence than Ralph, who may or +may not have been circumstantial; who may or may not even have +existed, a point unworthy of disputation. As for Miss Reid, we +will take an affidavit that neither in miniature nor at large did +she excel the celebrated Rosalba; and with regard to Mrs. Lennox, +we consider her to be a mere figment, like Narcissa, Miss Tabitha +Bramble, or any hero or heroine depicted by the historian of +"Peregrine Pickle." + +In like manner, after viewing nearly ninety portraits of Robert +Macaire and his friend Bertrand, all strongly resembling each +other, we are inclined to believe in them as historical personages, +and to canvass gravely the circumstances of their lives. Why +should we not? Have we not their portraits? Are not they +sufficient proofs? If not, we must discredit Napoleon (as +Archbishop Whately teaches), for about his figure and himself we +have no more authentic testimony. + +Let the reality of M. Robert Macaire and his friend M. Bertrand be +granted, if but to gratify our own fondness for those exquisite +characters: we find the worthy pair in the French capital, mingling +with all grades of its society, pars magna in the intrigues, +pleasures, perplexities, rogueries, speculations, which are carried +on in Paris, as in our own chief city; for it need not be said that +roguery is of no country nor clime, but finds [Greek text omitted], +is a citizen of all countries where the quarters are good; among +our merry neighbors it finds itself very much at its ease. + +Not being endowed, then, with patrimonial wealth, but compelled to +exercise their genius to obtain distinction, or even subsistence, +we see Messrs. Bertrand and Macaire, by turns, adopting all trades +and professions, and exercising each with their own peculiar +ingenuity. As public men, we have spoken already of their +appearance in one or two important characters, and stated that the +Government grew fairly jealous of them, excluding them from office, +as the Whigs did Lord Brougham. As private individuals, they are +made to distinguish themselves as the founders of journals, +societes en commandite (companies of which the members are +irresponsible beyond the amount of their shares), and all sorts of +commercial speculations, requiring intelligence and honesty on the +part of the directors, confidence and liberal disbursements from +the shareholders. + +These are, among the French, so numerous, and have been of late +years (in the shape of Newspaper Companies, Bitumen Companies, +Galvanized-Iron Companies, Railroad Companies, &c.) pursued with +such a blind FUROR and lust of gain, by that easily excited and +imaginative people, that, as may be imagined, the satirist has +found plenty of occasion for remark, and M. Macaire and his friend +innumerable opportunities for exercising their talents. + +We know nothing of M. Emile de Girardin, except that, in a duel, he +shot the best man in France, Armaud Carrel; and in Girardin's favor +it must be said, that he had no other alternative; but was right in +provoking the duel, seeing that the whole Republican party had +vowed his destruction, and that he fought and killed their +champion, as it were. We know nothing of M. Girardin's private +character: but, as far as we can judge from the French public +prints, he seems to be the most speculative of speculators, and, of +course, a fair butt for the malice of the caricaturists. His one +great crime, in the eyes of the French Republicans and Republican +newspaper proprietors, was, that Girardin set up a journal, as he +called it, "franchement monarchique,"--a journal in the pay of the +monarchy, that is,--and a journal that cost only forty francs by +the year. The National costs twice as much; the Charivari itself +costs half as much again; and though all newspapers, of all +parties, concurred in "snubbing" poor M. Girardin and his journal, +the Republican prints, were by far the most bitter against him, +thundering daily accusations and personalities; whether the abuse +was well or ill founded, we know not. Hence arose the duel with +Carrel; after the termination of which, Girardin put by his pistol, +and vowed, very properly, to assist in the shedding of no more +blood. Girardin had been the originator of numerous other +speculations besides the journal: the capital of these, like that +of the journal, was raised by shares, and the shareholders, by some +fatality, have found themselves wofully in the lurch; while +Girardin carries on the war gayly, is, or was, a member of the +Chamber of Deputies, has money, goes to Court, and possesses a +certain kind of reputation. He invented, we believe, the +"Institution Agronome de Coetbo,"* the "Physionotype," the "Journal +des Connoissances Utiles," the "Pantheon Litteraire," and the +system of "Primes"--premiums, that is--to be given, by lottery, to +certain subscribers in these institutions. Could Robert Macaire +see such things going on, and have no hand in them? + + +* It is not necessary to enter into descriptions of these various +inventions. + + +Accordingly Messrs. Macaire and Bertrand are made the heroes of +many speculations of the kind. In almost the first print of our +collection, Robert discourses to Bertrand of his projects. +"Bertrand," says the disinterested admirer of talent and +enterprise, "j'adore l'industrie. Si tu veux nous creons une +banque, mais la, une vraie banque: capital cent millions de +millions, cent milliards de milliards d'actions. Nous enfoncons la +banque de France, les banquiers, les banquistes; nous enfoncons +tout le monde." "Oui," says Bertrand, very calm and stupid, "mais +les gendarmes?" "Que tu es bete, Bertrand: est-ce qu'on arrete un +millionaire?" Such is the key to M. Macaire's philosophy; and a +wise creed too, as times go. + +Acting on these principles, Robert appears soon after; he has not +created a bank, but a journal. He sits in a chair of state, and +discourses to a shareholder. Bertrand, calm and stupid as before, +stands humbly behind. "Sir," says the editor of La Blague, journal +quotidienne, "our profits arise from a new combination. The +journal costs twenty francs; we sell it for twenty-three and a +half. A million subscribers make three millions and a half of +profits; there are my figures; contradict me by figures, or I will +bring an action for libel." The reader may fancy the scene takes +place in England, where many such a swindling prospectus has +obtained credit ere now. At Plate 33, Robert is still a journalist; +he brings to the editor of a paper an article of his composition, a +violent attack on a law. "My dear M. Macaire," says the editor, +"this must be changed; we must PRAISE this law." "Bon, bon!" says +our versatile Macaire. "Je vais retoucher ca, et je vous fais en +faveur de la loi UN ARTICLE MOUSSEUX." + +Can such things be? Is it possible that French journalists can so +forget themselves? The rogues! they should come to England and +learn consistency. The honesty of the Press in England is like the +air we breathe, without it we die. No, no! in France, the satire +may do very well; but for England it is too monstrous. Call the +press stupid, call it vulgar, call it violent,--but honest it is. +Who ever heard of a journal changing its politics? O tempora! O +mores! as Robert Macaire says, this would be carrying the joke too +far. + +When he has done with newspapers, Robert Macaire begins to +distinguish himself on 'Change,* as a creator of companies, a +vender of shares, or a dabbler in foreign stock. "Buy my coal-mine +shares," shouts Robert; "gold mines, silver mines, diamond mines, +'sont de la pot-bouille de la ratatouille en comparaison de ma +houille.'" "Look," says he, on another occasion, to a very timid, +open-countenanced client, "you have a property to sell! I have +found the very man, a rich capitalist, a fellow whose bills are +better than bank-notes." His client sells; the bills are taken in +payment, and signed by that respectable capitalist, Monsieur de +Saint Bertrand. At Plate 81, we find him inditing a circular +letter to all the world, running thus: "Sir,--I regret to say that +your application for shares in the Consolidated European +Incombustible Blacking Association cannot be complied with, as all +the shares of the C. E. I. B. A. were disposed of on the day they +were issued. I have, nevertheless, registered your name, and in +case a second series should be put forth, I shall have the honor of +immediately giving you notice. I am, sir, yours, &c., the +Director, Robert Macaire."--"Print 300,000 of these," he says to +Bertrand, "and poison all France with them." As usual, the stupid +Bertrand remonstrates--"But we have not sold a single share; you +have not a penny in your pocket, and"--"Bertrand, you are an ass; +do as I bid you." + + +* We have given a description of a genteel Macaire in the account +of M. de Bernard's novels. + + +Will this satire apply anywhere in England? Have we any +Consolidated European Blacking Associations amongst us? Have we +penniless directors issuing El Dorado prospectuses, and jockeying +their shares through the market? For information on this head, we +must refer the reader to the newspapers; or if he be connected with +the city, and acquainted with commercial men, he will be able to +say whether ALL the persons whose names figure at the head of +announcements of projected companies are as rich as Rothschild, or +quite as honest as heart could desire. + +When Macaire has sufficiently exploite the Bourse, whether as a +gambler in the public funds or other companies, he sagely perceives +that it is time to turn to some other profession, and, providing +himself with a black gown, proposes blandly to Bertrand to set up-- +a new religion. "Mon ami," says the repentant sinner, "le temps de +la commandite va passer, MAIS LES BADAUDS NE PASSERONT PAS." (O +rare sentence! it should be written in letters of gold!) "OCCUPONS +NOUS DE CE QUI EST ETERNEL. Si nous fassions une religion?" On +which M. Bertrand remarks, "A religion! what the devil--a religion +is not an easy thing to make." But Macaire's receipt is easy. +"Get a gown, take a shop," he says, "borrow some chairs, preach +about Napoleon, or the discovery of America, or Moliere--and +there's a religion for you." + +We have quoted this sentence more for the contrast it offers with +our own manners, than for its merits. After the noble paragraph, +"Les badauds ne passeront pas. Occupons nous de ce qui est +eternel," one would have expected better satire upon cant than the +words that follow. We are not in a condition to say whether the +subjects chosen are those that had been selected by Pere Enfantin, +or Chatel, or Lacordaire; but the words are curious, we think, for +the very reason that the satire is so poor. The fact is, there is +no religion in Paris; even clever M. Philipon, who satirizes +everything, and must know, therefore, some little about the subject +which he ridicules, has nothing to say but, "Preach a sermon, and +that makes a religion; anything will do." If ANYTHING will do, it +is clear that the religious commodity is not in much demand. +Tartuffe had better things to say about hypocrisy in his time; but +then Faith was alive; now, there is no satirizing religious cant in +France, for its contrary, true religion, has disappeared altogether; +and having no substance, can cast no shadow. If a satirist would +lash the religious hypocrites in ENGLAND now--the High Church +hypocrites, the Low Church hypocrites, the promiscuous Dissenting +hypocrites, the No Popery hypocrites--he would have ample subject +enough. In France, the religious hypocrites went out with the +Bourbons. Those who remain pious in that country (or, rather, we +should say, in the capital, for of that we speak,) are unaffectedly +so, for they have no worldly benefit to hope for from their piety; +the great majority have no religion at all, and do not scoff at the +few, for scoffing is the minority's weapon, and is passed always to +the weaker side, whatever that may be. Thus H. B. caricatures the +Ministers: if by any accident that body of men should be dismissed +from their situations, and be succeeded by H. B.'s friends, the +Tories,--what must the poor artist do? He must pine away and die, +if he be not converted; he cannot always be paying compliments; for +caricature has a spice of Goethe's Devil in it, and is "der Geist +der stets verneint," the Spirit that is always denying. + +With one or two of the French writers and painters of caricatures, +the King tried the experiment of bribery; which succeeded +occasionally in buying off the enemy, and bringing him from the +republican to the royal camp; but when there, the deserter was +never of any use. Figaro, when so treated, grew fat and +desponding, and lost all his sprightly VERVE; and Nemesis became as +gentle as a Quakeress. But these instances of "ratting" were not +many. Some few poets were bought over; but, among men following +the profession of the press, a change of politics is an +infringement of the point of honor, and a man must FIGHT as well as +apostatize. A very curious table might be made, signalizing the +difference of the moral standard between us and the French. Why is +the grossness and indelicacy, publicly permitted in England, +unknown in France, where private morality is certainly at a lower +ebb? Why is the point of private honor now more rigidly maintained +among the French? Why is it, as it should be, a moral disgrace for +a Frenchman to go into debt, and no disgrace for him to cheat his +customer? Why is there more honesty and less--more propriety and +less?--and how are we to account for the particular vices or +virtues which belong to each nation in its turn? + +The above is the Reverend M. Macaire's solitary exploit as a +spiritual swindler: as MAITRE Macaire in the courts of law, as +avocat, avoue--in a humbler capacity even, as a prisoner at the +bar, he distinguishes himself greatly, as may be imagined. On one +occasion we find the learned gentleman humanely visiting an +unfortunate detenu--no other person, in fact, than his friend M. +Bertrand, who has fallen into some trouble, and is awaiting the +sentence of the law. He begins-- + +"Mon cher Bertrand, donne moi cent ecus, je te fais acquitter +d'emblee." + +"J'ai pas d'argent." + +"He bien, donne moi cent francs." + +"Pas le sou." + +"Tu n'as pas dix francs?" + +"Pas un liard." + +"Alors donne moi tes bottes, je plaiderai la circonstance +attenuante." + +The manner in which Maitre Macaire soars from the cent ecus (a high +point already) to the sublime of the boots, is in the best comic +style. In another instance he pleads before a judge, and, +mistaking his client, pleads for defendant, instead of plaintiff. +"The infamy of the plaintiff's character, my LUDS, renders his +testimony on such a charge as this wholly unavailing." "M. +Macaire, M. Macaire," cries the attorney, in a fright, "you are for +the plaintiff!" "This, my lords, is what the defendant WILL SAY. +This is the line of defence which the opposite party intend to +pursue; as if slanders like these could weigh with an enlightened +jury, or injure the spotless reputation of my client!" In this +story and expedient M. Macaire has been indebted to the English +bar. If there be an occupation for the English satirist in the +exposing of the cant and knavery of the pretenders to religion, +what room is there for him to lash the infamies of the law! On +this point the French are babes in iniquity compared to us--a +counsel prostituting himself for money is a matter with us so +stale, that it is hardly food for satire: which, to be popular, +must find some much more complicated and interesting knavery +whereon to exercise its skill. + +M. Macaire is more skilful in love than in law, and appears once or +twice in a very amiable light while under the influence of the +tender passion. We find him at the head of one of those useful +establishments unknown in our country--a Bureau de Mariage: half a +dozen of such places are daily advertised in the journals: and "une +veuve de trente ans ayant une fortune de deux cent mille francs," +or "une demoiselle de quinze aus, jolie, d'une famille tres +distinguee, qui possede trente mille livres de rentes,"-- +continually, in this kind-hearted way, are offering themselves to +the public: sometimes it is a gentleman, with a "physique +agreable,--des talens de societe"--and a place under Government, +who makes a sacrifice of himself in a similar manner. In our +little historical gallery we find this philanthropic anti-Malthusian +at the head of an establishment of this kind, introducing a very +meek, simple-looking bachelor to some distinguished ladies of his +connoissance. "Let me present you, sir, to Madame de St. Bertrand" +(it is our old friend), "veuve de la grande armee, et Mdlle Eloa de +Wormspire. Ces dames brulent de l'envie de faire votre connoissance. +Je les ai invitees a diner chez vous ce soir: vous nous menerez a +l'opera, et nous ferons une petite partie d'ecarte. Tenez vous bien, +M. Gobard! ces dames ont des projets sur vous!" + +Happy Gobard! happy system, which can thus bring the pure and +loving together, and acts as the best ally of Hymen! The +announcement of the rank and titles of Madame de St. Bertrand-- +"veuve de la grande armee"--is very happy. "La grande armee" has +been a father to more orphans, and a husband to more widows, than +it ever made. Mistresses of cafes, old governesses, keepers of +boarding-houses, genteel beggars, and ladies of lower rank still, +have this favorite pedigree. They have all had malheurs (what kind +it is needless to particularize), they are all connected with the +grand homme, and their fathers were all colonels. This title +exactly answers to the "clergyman's daughter" in England--as, "A +young lady, the daughter of a clergyman, is desirous to teach," &c. +"A clergyman's widow receives into her house a few select," and so +forth. "Appeal to the benevolent.--By a series of unheard-of +calamities, a young lady, daughter of a clergyman in the west of +England, has been plunged," &c. &c. The difference is curious, as +indicating the standard of respectability. + +The male beggar of fashion is not so well known among us as in +Paris, where street-doors are open; six or eight families live in a +house; and the gentleman who earns his livelihood by this +profession can make half a dozen visits without the trouble of +knocking from house to house, and the pain of being observed by the +whole street, while the footman is examining him from the area. +Some few may be seen in England about the inns of court, where the +locality is favorable (where, however, the owners of the chambers +are not proverbially soft of heart, so that the harvest must be +poor); but Paris is full of such adventurers,--fat, smooth-tongued, +and well dressed, with gloves and gilt-headed canes, who would be +insulted almost by the offer of silver, and expect your gold as +their right. Among these, of course, our friend Robert plays his +part; and an excellent engraving represents him, snuff-box in hand, +advancing to an old gentleman, whom, by his poodle, his powdered +head, and his drivelling, stupid look, one knows to be a Carlist of +the old regime. "I beg pardon," says Robert; "is it really +yourself to whom I have the honor of speaking?"--"It is." "Do you +take snuff?"--"I thank you."--"Sir, I have had misfortunes--I want +assistance. I am a Vendean of illustrious birth. You know the +family of Macairbec--we are of Brest. My grandfather served the +King in his galleys; my father and I belong, also, to the marine. +Unfortunate suits at law have plunged us into difficulties, and I +do not hesitate to ask you for the succor of ten francs."--"Sir, I +never give to those I don't know."--"Right, sir, perfectly right. +Perhaps you will have the kindness to LEND me ten francs?" + +The adventures of Doctor Macaire need not be described, because the +different degrees in quackery which are taken by that learned +physician are all well known in England, where we have the +advantage of many higher degrees in the science, which our +neighbors know nothing about. We have not Hahnemann, but we have +his disciples; we have not Broussais, but we have the College of +Health; and surely a dose of Morrison's pills is a sublimer +discovery than a draught of hot water. We had St. John Long, too-- +where is his science?--and we are credibly informed that some +important cures have been effected by the inspired dignitaries of +"the church" in Newman Street which, if it continue to practise, +will sadly interfere with the profits of the regular physicians, +and where the miracles of the Abbe of Paris are about to be acted +over again. + +In speaking of M. Macaire and his adventures, we have managed so +entirely to convince ourselves of the reality of the personage, +that we have quite forgotten to speak of Messrs. Philipon and +Daumier, who are, the one the inventor, the other the designer, of +the Macaire Picture Gallery. As works of esprit, these drawings +are not more remarkable than they are as works of art, and we never +recollect to have seen a series of sketches possessing more +extraordinary cleverness and variety. The countenance and figure +of Macaire and the dear stupid Bertrand are preserved, of course, +with great fidelity throughout; but the admirable way in which each +fresh character is conceived, the grotesque appropriateness of +Robert's every successive attitude and gesticulation, and the +variety of Bertrand's postures of invariable repose, the exquisite +fitness of all the other characters, who act their little part and +disappear from the scene, cannot be described on paper, or too +highly lauded. The figures are very carelessly drawn; but, if the +reader can understand us, all the attitudes and limbs are perfectly +CONCEIVED, and wonderfully natural and various. After pondering +over these drawings for some hours, as we have been while compiling +this notice of them, we have grown to believe that the personages +are real, and the scenes remain imprinted on the brain as if we had +absolutely been present at their acting. Perhaps the clever way in +which the plates are colored, and the excellent effect which is put +into each, may add to this illusion. Now, in looking, for +instance, at H. B.'s slim vapory figures, they have struck us as +excellent LIKENESSES of men and women, but no more: the bodies want +spirit, action, and individuality. George Cruikshank, as a +humorist, has quite as much genius, but he does not know the art of +"effect" so well as Monsieur Daumier; and, if we might venture to +give a word of advice to another humorous designer, whose works are +extensively circulated--the illustrator of "Pickwick" and "Nicholas +Nickleby,"--it would be to study well these caricatures of Monsieur +Daumier; who, though he executes very carelessly, knows very well +what he would express, indicates perfectly the attitude and +identity of his figure, and is quite aware, beforehand, of the +effect which he intends to produce. The one we should fancy to be +a practised artist, taking his ease; the other, a young one, +somewhat bewildered: a very clever one, however, who, if he would +think more, and exaggerate less, would add not a little to his +reputation. + +Having pursued, all through these remarks, the comparison between +English art and French art, English and French humor, manners, and +morals, perhaps we should endeavor, also, to write an analytical +essay on English cant or humbug, as distinguished from French. It +might be shown that the latter was more picturesque and startling, +the former more substantial and positive. It has none of the +poetic flights of the French genius, but advances steadily, and +gains more ground in the end than its sprightlier compeer. But +such a discussion would carry us through the whole range of French +and English history, and the reader has probably read quite enough +of the subject in this and the foregoing pages. + +We shall, therefore, say no more of French and English caricatures +generally, or of Mr. Macaire's particular accomplishments and +adventures. They are far better understood by examining the +original pictures, by which Philipon and Daumier have illustrated +them, than by translations first into print and afterwards into +English. They form a very curious and instructive commentary upon +the present state of society in Paris, and a hundred years hence, +when the whole of this struggling, noisy, busy, merry race shall +have exchanged their pleasures or occupations for a quiet coffin +(and a tawdry lying epitaph) at Montmartre, or Pere la Chaise; when +the follies here recorded shall have been superseded by new ones, +and the fools now so active shall have given up the inheritance of +the world to their children: the latter will, at least, have the +advantage of knowing, intimately and exactly, the manners of life +and being of their grandsires, and calling up, when they so choose +it, our ghosts from the grave, to live, love, quarrel, swindle, +suffer, and struggle on blindly as of yore. And when the amused +speculator shall have laughed sufficiently at the immensity of our +follies, and the paltriness of our aims, smiled at our exploded +superstitions, wondered how this man should be considered great, +who is now clean forgotten (as copious Guthrie before mentioned); +how this should have been thought a patriot who is but a knave +spouting commonplace; or how that should have been dubbed a +philosopher who is but a dull fool, blinking solemn, and pretending +to see in the dark; when he shall have examined all these at his +leisure, smiling in a pleasant contempt and good-humored +superiority, and thanking heaven for his increased lights, he will +shut the book, and be a fool as his fathers were before him. + +It runs in the blood. Well hast thou said, O ragged Macaire,--"Le +jour va passer, MAIS LES BADAUDS NE PASSERONT PAS." + + + + +LITTLE POINSINET. + + +About the year 1760, there lived, at Paris, a little fellow, who +was the darling of all the wags of his acquaintance. Nature +seemed, in the formation of this little man, to have amused +herself, by giving loose to half a hundred of her most comical +caprices. He had some wit and drollery of his own, which sometimes +rendered his sallies very amusing; but, where his friends laughed +with him once, they laughed at him a thousand times, for he had a +fund of absurdity in himself that was more pleasant than all the +wit in the world. He was as proud as a peacock, as wicked as an +ape, and as silly as a goose. He did not possess one single grain +of common sense; but, in revenge, his pretensions were enormous, +his ignorance vast, and his credulity more extensive still. From +his youth upwards, he had read nothing but the new novels, and the +verses in the almanacs, which helped him not a little in making, +what he called, poetry of his own; for, of course, our little hero +was a poet. All the common usages of life, all the ways of the +world, and all the customs of society, seemed to be quite unknown +to him; add to these good qualities, a magnificent conceit, a +cowardice inconceivable, and a face so irresistibly comic, that +every one who first beheld it was compelled to burst out a- +laughing, and you will have some notion of this strange little +gentleman. He was very proud of his voice, and uttered all his +sentences in the richest tragic tone. He was little better than a +dwarf; but he elevated his eyebrows, held up his neck, walked on +the tips of his toes, and gave himself the airs of a giant. He had +a little pair of bandy legs, which seemed much too short to support +anything like a human body; but, by the help of these crooked +supporters, he thought he could dance like a Grace; and, indeed, +fancied all the graces possible were to be found in his person. +His goggle eyes were always rolling about wildly, as if in +correspondence with the disorder of his little brain and his +countenance thus wore an expression of perpetual wonder. With such +happy natural gifts, he not only fell into all traps that were laid +for him, but seemed almost to go out of his way to seek them; +although, to be sure, his friends did not give him much trouble in +that search, for they prepared hoaxes for him incessantly. + +One day the wags introduced him to a company of ladies, who, though +not countesses and princesses exactly, took, nevertheless, those +titles upon themselves for the nonce; and were all, for the same +reason, violently smitten with Master Poinsinet's person. One of +them, the lady of the house, was especially tender; and, seating +him by her side at supper, so plied him with smiles, ogles, and +champagne, that our little hero grew crazed with ecstasy, and wild +with love. In the midst of his happiness, a cruel knock was heard +below, accompanied by quick loud talking, swearing, and shuffling +of feet: you would have thought a regiment was at the door. "Oh +heavens!" cried the marchioness, starting up, and giving to the +hand of Poinsinet one parting squeeze; "fly--fly, my Poinsinet: +'tis the colonel--my husband!" At this, each gentleman of the +party rose, and, drawing his rapier, vowed to cut his way through +the colonel and all his mousquetaires, or die, if need be, by the +side of Poinsinet. + +The little fellow was obliged to lug out his sword too, and went +shuddering down stairs, heartily repenting of his passion for +marchionesses. When the party arrived in the street, they found, +sure enough, a dreadful company of mousquetaires, as they seemed, +ready to oppose their passage. Swords crossed,--torches blazed; +and, with the most dreadful shouts and imprecations, the contending +parties rushed upon one another; the friends of Poinsinet +surrounding and supporting that little warrior, as the French +knights did King Francis at Pavia, otherwise the poor fellow +certainly would have fallen down in the gutter from fright. + +But the combat was suddenly interrupted; for the neighbors, who +knew nothing of the trick going on, and thought the brawl was real, +had been screaming with all their might for the police, who began +about this time to arrive. Directly they appeared, friends and +enemies of Poinsinet at once took to their heels; and, in THIS +part of the transaction, at least, our hero himself showed that he +was equal to the longest-legged grenadier that ever ran away. + +When, at last, those little bandy legs of his had borne him safely +to his lodgings, all Poinsinet's friends crowded round him, to +congratulate him on his escape and his valor. + +"Egad, how he pinked that great red-haired fellow!" said one. + +"No; did I?" said Poinsinet. + +"Did you? Psha! don't try to play the modest, and humbug US; you +know you did. I suppose you will say, next, that you were not for +three minutes point to point with Cartentierce himself, the most +dreadful swordsman of the army." + +"Why, you see," says Poinsinet, quite delighted, "it was so dark +that I did not know with whom I was engaged; although, corbleu, I +DID FOR one or two of the fellows." And after a little more of +such conversation, during which he was fully persuaded that he had +done for a dozen of the enemy at least, Poinsinet went to bed, his +little person trembling with fright and pleasure; and he fell +asleep, and dreamed of rescuing ladies, and destroying monsters, +like a second Amadis de Gaul. + +When he awoke in the morning, he found a party of his friends in +his room: one was examining his coat and waistcoat; another was +casting many curious glances at his inexpressibles. "Look here!" +said this gentleman, holding up the garment to the light; "one-- +two--three gashes! I am hanged if the cowards did not aim at +Poinsinet's legs! There are four holes in the sword arm of his +coat, and seven have gone right through coat and waistcoat. Good +heaven! Poinsinet, have you had a surgeon to your wounds?" + +"Wounds!" said the little man, springing up, "I don't know--that +is, I hope--that is--O Lord! O Lord! I hope I'm not wounded!" and, +after a proper examination, he discovered he was not. + +"Thank heaven! thank heaven!" said one of the wags (who, indeed, +during the slumbers of Poinsinet had been occupied in making these +very holes through the garments of that individual), "if you have +escaped, it is by a miracle. Alas! alas! all your enemies have not +been so lucky." + +"How! is anybody wounded?" said Poinsinet. + +"My dearest friend, prepare yourself; that unhappy man who came to +revenge his menaced honor--that gallant officer--that injured +husband, Colonel Count de Cartentierce--" + +"Well?" + +"IS NO MORE! he died this morning, pierced through with nineteen +wounds from your hand, and calling upon his country to revenge his +murder." + +When this awful sentence was pronounced, all the auditory gave a +pathetic and simultaneous sob; and as for Poinsinet, he sank back +on his bed with a howl of terror, which would have melted a +Visigoth to tears, or to laughter. As soon as his terror and +remorse had, in some degree, subsided, his comrades spoke to him of +the necessity of making his escape; and, huddling on his clothes, +and bidding them all a tender adieu, he set off, incontinently, +without his breakfast, for England, America, or Russia, not knowing +exactly which. + +One of his companions agreed to accompany him on a part of this +journey,--that is, as far as the barrier of St. Denis, which is, as +everybody knows, on the high road to Dover; and there, being +tolerably secure, they entered a tavern for breakfast; which meal, +the last that he ever was to take, perhaps, in his native city, +Poinsinet was just about to discuss, when, behold! a gentleman +entered the apartment where Poinsinet and his friend were seated, +and, drawing from his pocket a paper, with "AU NOM DU ROY" +flourished on the top, read from it, or rather from Poinsinet's own +figure, his exact signalement, laid his hand on his shoulder, and +arrested him in the name of the King, and of the provost-marshal of +Paris. "I arrest you, sir," said he, gravely, "with regret; you +have slain, with seventeen wounds, in single combat, Colonel Count +de Cartentierce, one of his Majesty's household; and, as his +murderer, you fall under the immediate authority of the provost- +marshal, and die without trial or benefit of clergy." + +You may fancy how the poor little man's appetite fell when he heard +this speech. "In the provost-marshal's hands?" said his friend: +"then it is all over, indeed! When does my poor friend suffer, +sir?" + +"At half-past six o'clock, the day after to-morrow," said the +officer, sitting down, and helping himself to wine. "But stop," +said he, suddenly; "sure I can't mistake? Yes--no--yes, it is. My +dear friend, my dear Durand! don't you recollect your old +schoolfellow, Antoine?" And herewith the officer flung himself +into the arms of Durand, Poinsinet's comrade, and they performed a +most affecting scene of friendship. + +"This may be of some service to you," whispered Durand to +Poinsinet; and, after some further parley, he asked the officer +when he was bound to deliver up his prisoner; and, hearing that he +was not called upon to appear at the Marshalsea before six o'clock +at night, Monsieur Durand prevailed upon Monsieur Antoine to wait +until that hour, and in the meantime to allow his prisoner to walk +about the town in his company. This request was, with a little +difficulty, granted; and poor Poinsinet begged to be carried to the +houses of his various friends, and bid them farewell. Some were +aware of the trick that had been played upon him: others were not; +but the poor little man's credulity was so great, that it was +impossible to undeceive him; and he went from house to house +bewailing his fate, and followed by the complaisant marshal's +officer. + +The news of his death he received with much more meekness than +could have been expected; but what he could not reconcile to +himself was, the idea of dissection afterwards. "What can they +want with me?" cried the poor wretch, in an unusual fit of candor. +"I am very small and ugly; it would be different if I were a tall +fine-looking fellow." But he was given to understand that beauty +made very little difference to the surgeons, who, on the contrary, +would, on certain occasions, prefer a deformed man to a handsome +one; for science was much advanced by the study of such +monstrosities. With this reason Poinsinet was obliged to be +content; and so paid his rounds of visits, and repeated his dismal +adieux. + +The officer of the provost-marshal, however amusing Poinsinet's +woes might have been, began, by this time, to grow very weary of +them, and gave him more than one opportunity to escape. He would +stop at shop-windows, loiter round corners, and look up in the sky, +but all in vain: Poinsinet would not escape, do what the other +would. At length, luckily, about dinner-time, the officer met one +of Poinsinet's friends and his own: and the three agreed to dine at +a tavern, as they had breakfasted; and here the officer, who vowed +that he had been up for five weeks incessantly, fell suddenly +asleep, in the profoundest fatigue; and Poinsinet was persuaded, +after much hesitation on his part, to take leave of him. + +And now, this danger overcome, another was to be avoided. Beyond a +doubt the police were after him, and how was he to avoid them? He +must be disguised, of course; and one of his friends, a tall, gaunt +lawyer's clerk, agreed to provide him with habits. + +So little Poinsinet dressed himself out in the clerk's dingy black +suit, of which the knee-breeches hung down to his heels, and the +waist of the coat reached to the calves of his legs; and, +furthermore, he blacked his eyebrows, and wore a huge black +periwig, in which his friend vowed that no one could recognize him. +But the most painful incident, with regard to the periwig, was, +that Poinsinet, whose solitary beauty--if beauty it might be +called--was a head of copious, curling, yellow hair, was compelled +to snip off every one of his golden locks, and to rub the bristles +with a black dye; "for if your wig were to come off," said the +lawyer, "and your fair hair to tumble over your shoulders, every +man would know, or at least suspect you." So off the locks were +cut, and in his black suit and periwig little Poinsinet went +abroad. + +His friends had their cue; and when he appeared amongst them, not +one seemed to know him. He was taken into companies where his +character was discussed before him, and his wonderful escape spoken +of. At last he was introduced to the very officer of the provost- +marshal who had taken him into custody, and who told him that he +had been dismissed the provost's service, in consequence of the +escape of the prisoner. Now, for the first time, poor Poinsinet +thought himself tolerably safe, and blessed his kind friends who +had procured for him such a complete disguise. How this affair +ended I know not,--whether some new lie was coined to account for +his release, or whether he was simply told that he had been hoaxed: +it mattered little; for the little man was quite as ready to be +hoaxed the next day. + +Poinsinet was one day invited to dine with one of the servants of +the Tuileries; and, before his arrival, a person in company had +been decorated with a knot of lace and a gold key, such as +chamberlains wear; he was introduced to Poinsinet as the Count de +Truchses, chamberlain to the King of Prussia. After dinner the +conversation fell upon the Count's visit to Paris; when his +Excellency, with a mysterious air, vowed that he had only come for +pleasure. "It is mighty well," said a third person, "and, of +course, we can't cross-question your lordship too closely;" but at +the same time it was hinted to Poinsinet that a person of such +consequence did not travel for NOTHING, with which opinion +Poinsinet solemnly agreed; and, indeed, it was borne out by a +subsequent declaration of the Count, who condescended, at last, to +tell the company, in confidence, that he HAD a mission, and a most +important one--to find, namely, among the literary men of France, a +governor for the Prince Royal of Prussia. The company seemed +astonished that the King had not made choice of Voltaire or +D'Alembert, and mentioned a dozen other distinguished men who might +be competent to this important duty; but the Count, as may be +imagined, found objections to every one of them; and, at last, one +of the guests said, that, if his Prussian Majesty was not +particular as to age, he knew a person more fitted for the place +than any other who could be found,--his honorable friend, M. +Poinsinet, was the individual to whom he alluded. + +"Good heavens!" cried the Count, "is it possible that the +celebrated Poinsinet would take such a place? I would give the +world to see him?" And you may fancy how Poinsinet simpered and +blushed when the introduction immediately took place. + +The Count protested to him that the King would be charmed to know +him; and added, that one of his operas (for it must be told that +our little friend was a vaudeville-maker by trade) had been acted +seven-and-twenty times at the theatre at Potsdam. His Excellency +then detailed to him all the honors and privileges which the +governor of the Prince Royal might expect; and all the guests +encouraged the little man's vanity, by asking him for his +protection and favor. In a short time our hero grew so inflated +with pride and vanity, that he was for patronizing the chamberlain +himself, who proceeded to inform him that he was furnished with +all the necessary powers by his sovereign, who had specially +enjoined him to confer upon the future governor of his son the +royal order of the Black Eagle. + +Poinsinet, delighted, was ordered to kneel down; and the Count +produced a large yellow ribbon, which he hung over his shoulder, +and which was, he declared, the grand cordon of the order. You +must fancy Poinsinet's face, and excessive delight at this; for as +for describing them, nobody can. For four-and-twenty hours the +happy chevalier paraded through Paris with this flaring yellow +ribbon; and he was not undeceived until his friends had another +trick in store for him. + +He dined one day in the company of a man who understood a little of +the noble art of conjuring, and performed some clever tricks on the +cards. Poinsinet's organ of wonder was enormous; he looked on with +the gravity and awe of a child, and thought the man's tricks sheer +miracles. It wanted no more to set his companions to work. + +"Who is this wonderful man?" said he to his neighbor. + +"Why," said the other, mysteriously, "one hardly knows who he is; +or, at least, one does not like to say to such an indiscreet fellow +as you are." Poinsinet at once swore to be secret. "Well, then," +said his friend, "you will hear that man--that wonderful man-- +called by a name which is not his: his real name is Acosta: he is a +Portuguese Jew, a Rosicrucian, and Cabalist of the first order, and +compelled to leave Lisbon for fear of the Inquisition. He performs +here, as you see, some extraordinary things, occasionally; but the +master of the house, who loves him excessively, would not, for the +world, that his name should be made public." + +"Ah, bah!" said Poinsinet, who affected the bel esprit; "you don't +mean to say that you believe in magic, and cabalas, and such +trash?" + +"Do I not? You shall judge for yourself." And, accordingly, +Poinsinet was presented to the magician, who pretended to take a +vast liking for him, and declared that he saw in him certain marks +which would infallibly lead him to great eminence in the magic art, +if he chose to study it. + +Dinner was served, and Poinsinet placed by the side of the miracle- +worker, who became very confidential with him, and promised him-- +ay, before dinner was over--a remarkable instance of his power. +Nobody, on this occasion, ventured to cut a single joke against +poor Poinsinet; nor could he fancy that any trick was intended +against him, for the demeanor of the society towards him was +perfectly grave and respectful, and the conversation serious. On a +sudden, however, somebody exclaimed, "Where is Poinsinet? Did any +one see him leave the room?" + +All the company exclaimed how singular the disappearance was; and +Poinsinet himself, growing alarmed, turned round to his neighbor, +and was about to explain. + +"Hush!" said the magician, in a whisper; "I told you that you +should see what I could do. I HAVE MADE YOU INVISIBLE; be quiet, +and you shall see some more tricks that I shall play with these +fellows." + +Poinsinet remained then silent, and listened to his neighbors, who +agreed, at last, that he was a quiet, orderly personage, and had +left the table early, being unwilling to drink too much. Presently +they ceased to talk about him, and resumed their conversation upon +other matters. + +At first it was very quiet and grave, but the master of the house +brought back the talk to the subject of Poinsinet, and uttered all +sorts of abuse concerning him. He begged the gentleman, who had +introduced such a little scamp into his house, to bring him thither +no more: whereupon the other took up, warmly, Poinsinet's defence; +declared that he was a man of the greatest merit, frequenting the +best society, and remarkable for his talents as well as his +virtues. + +"Ah!" said Poinsinet to the magician, quite charmed at what he +heard, "how ever shall I thank you, my dear sir, for thus showing +me who my true friends are?" + +The magician promised him still further favors in prospect; and +told him to look out now, for he was about to throw all the company +into a temporary fit of madness, which, no doubt, would be very +amusing. + +In consequence, all the company, who had heard every syllable of +the conversation, began to perform the most extraordinary antics, +much to the delight of Poinsinet. One asked a nonsensical +question, and the other delivered an answer not at all to the +purpose. If a man asked for a drink, they poured him out a pepper- +box or a napkin: they took a pinch of snuff, and swore it was +excellent wine; and vowed that the bread was the most delicious +mutton ever tasted. The little man was delighted. + +"Ah!" said he, "these fellows are prettily punished for their +rascally backbiting of me!" + +"Gentlemen," said the host, "I shall now give you some celebrated +champagne," and he poured out to each a glass of water. + +"Good heavens!" said one, spitting it out, with the most horrible +grimace, "where did you get this detestable claret?" + +"Ah, faugh!" said a second, "I never tasted such vile corked +burgundy in all my days!" and he threw the glass of water into +Poinsinet's face, as did half a dozen of the other guests, +drenching the poor wretch to the skin. To complete this pleasant +illusion, two of the guests fell to boxing across Poinsinet, who +received a number of the blows, and received them with the patience +of a fakir, feeling himself more flattered by the precious +privilege of beholding this scene invisible, than hurt by the blows +and buffets which the mad company bestowed upon him. + +The fame of this adventure spread quickly over Paris, and all the +world longed to have at their houses the representation of +Poinsinet the Invisible. The servants and the whole company used +to be put up to the trick; and Poinsinet, who believed in his +invisibility as much as he did in his existence, went about with +his friend and protector the magician. People, of course, never +pretended to see him, and would very often not talk of him at all +for some time, but hold sober conversation about anything else in +the world. When dinner was served, of course there was no cover +laid for Poinsinet, who carried about a little stool, on which he +sat by the side of the magician, and always ate off his plate. +Everybody was astonished at the magician's appetite and at the +quantity of wine he drank; as for little Poinsinet, he never once +suspected any trick, and had such a confidence in his magician, +that, I do believe, if the latter had told him to fling himself out +of window, he would have done so, without the slightest trepidation. + +Among other mystifications in which the Portuguese enchanter +plunged him, was one which used to afford always a good deal of +amusement. He informed Poinsinet, with great mystery, that HE WAS +NOT HIMSELF; he was not, that is to say, that ugly, deformed little +monster, called Poinsinet; but that his birth was most illustrious, +and his real name Polycarte. He was, in fact, the son of a +celebrated magician; but other magicians, enemies of his father, +had changed him in his cradle, altering his features into their +present hideous shape, in order that a silly old fellow, called +Poinsinet, might take him to be his own son, which little monster +the magician had likewise spirited away. + +The poor wretch was sadly cast down at this; for he tried to fancy +that his person was agreeable to the ladies, of whom he was one of +the warmest little admirers possible; and to console him somewhat, +the magician told him that his real shape was exquisitely +beautiful, and as soon as he should appear in it, all the beauties +in Paris would be at his feet. But how to regain it? "Oh, for one +minute of that beauty!" cried the little man; "what would he not +give to appear under that enchanting form!" The magician hereupon +waved his stick over his head, pronounced some awful magical words, +and twisted him round three times; at the third twist, the men in +company seemed struck with astonishment and envy, the ladies +clasped their hands, and some of them kissed his. Everybody +declared his beauty to be supernatural. + +Poinsinet, enchanted, rushed to a glass. "Fool!" said the +magician; "do you suppose that YOU can see the change? My power to +render you invisible, beautiful, or ten times more hideous even +than you are, extends only to others, not to you. You may look a +thousand times in the glass, and you will only see those deformed +limbs and disgusting features with which devilish malice has +disguised you." Poor little Poinsinet looked, and came back in +tears. "But," resumed the magician,--"ha, ha, ha!--I know a way in +which to disappoint the machinations of these fiendish magi." + +"Oh, my benefactor!--my great master!--for heaven's sake tell it!" +gasped Poinsinet. + +"Look you--it is this. A prey to enchantment and demoniac art all +your life long, you have lived until your present age perfectly +satisfied; nay, absolutely vain of a person the most singularly +hideous that ever walked the earth!" + +"IS it?" whispered Poinsinet. "Indeed and indeed I didn't think it +so bad!" + +"He acknowledges it! he acknowledges it!" roared the magician. +"Wretch, dotard, owl, mole, miserable buzzard! I have no reason to +tell thee now that thy form is monstrous, that children cry, that +cowards turn pale, that teeming matrons shudder to behold it. It +is not thy fault that thou art thus ungainly: but wherefore so +blind? wherefore so conceited of thyself! I tell thee, Poinsinet, +that over every fresh instance of thy vanity the hostile enchanters +rejoice and triumph. As long as thou art blindly satisfied with +thyself; as long as thou pretendest, in thy present odious shape, +to win the love of aught above a negress; nay, further still, until +thou hast learned to regard that face, as others do, with the most +intolerable horror and disgust, to abuse it when thou seest it, to +despise it, in short, and treat that miserable disguise in which +the enchanters have wrapped thee with the strongest, hatred and +scorn, so long art thou destined to wear it." + +Such speeches as these, continually repeated, caused Poinsinet to +be fully convinced of his ugliness; he used to go about in +companies, and take every opportunity of inveighing against +himself; he made verses and epigrams against himself; he talked +about "that dwarf, Poinsinet;" "that buffoon, Poinsinet;" "that +conceited, hump-backed Poinsinet;" and he would spend hours before +the glass, abusing his own face as he saw it reflected there, and +vowing that he grew handsomer at every fresh epithet that he +uttered. + +Of course the wags, from time to time, used to give him every +possible encouragement, and declared that since this exercise, his +person was amazingly improved. The ladies, too, began to be so +excessively fond of him, that the little fellow was obliged to +caution them at last--for the good, as he said, of society; he +recommended them to draw lots, for he could not gratify them all; +but promised when his metamorphosis was complete, that the one +chosen should become the happy Mrs. Poinsinet; or, to speak more +correctly, Mrs. Polycarte. + +I am sorry to say, however, that, on the score of gallantry, +Poinsinet was never quite convinced of the hideousness of his +appearance. He had a number of adventures, accordingly, with the +ladies, but strange to say, the husbands or fathers were always +interrupting him. On one occasion he was made to pass the night in +a slipper-bath full of water; where, although he had all his +clothes on, he declared that he nearly caught his death of cold. +Another night, in revenge, the poor fellow + + + --"dans le simple appareil + D'une beaute, qu'on vient d'arracher au sommeil," + + +spent a number of hours contemplating the beauty of the moon on the +tiles. These adventures are pretty numerous in the memoirs of M. +Poinsinet; but the fact is, that people in France were a great deal +more philosophical in those days than the English are now, so that +Poinsinet's loves must be passed over, as not being to our taste. +His magician was a great diver, and told Poinsinet the most +wonderful tales of his two minutes' absence under water. These two +minutes, he said, lasted through a year, at least, which he spent +in the company of a naiad, more beautiful than Venus, in a palace +more splendid than even Versailles. Fired by the description, +Poinsinet used to dip, and dip, but he never was known to make any +mermaid acquaintances, although he fully believed that one day he +should find such. + +The invisible joke was brought to an end by Poinsinet's too great +reliance on it; for being, as we have said, of a very tender and +sanguine disposition, he one day fell in love with a lady in whose +company he dined, and whom he actually proposed to embrace; but the +fair lady, in the hurry of the moment, forgot to act up to the +joke; and instead of receiving Poinsinet's salute with calmness, +grew indignant, called him an impudent little scoundrel, and lent +him a sound box on the ear. With this slap the invisibility of +Poinsinet disappeared, the gnomes and genii left him, and he +settled down into common life again, and was hoaxed only by vulgar +means. + +A vast number of pages might be filled with narratives of the +tricks that were played upon him; but they resemble each other a +good deal, as may be imagined, and the chief point remarkable about +them is the wondrous faith of Poinsinet. After being introduced to +the Prussian ambassador at the Tuileries, he was presented to the +Turkish envoy at the Place Vendome, who received him in state, +surrounded by the officers of his establishment, all dressed in the +smartest dresses that the wardrobe of the Opera Comique could +furnish. + +As the greatest honor that could be done to him, Poinsinet was +invited to eat, and a tray was produced, on which was a delicate +dish prepared in the Turkish manner. This consisted of a +reasonable quantity of mustard, salt, cinnamon and ginger, nutmegs +and cloves, with a couple of tablespoonfuls of cayenne pepper, to +give the whole a flavor; and Poinsinet's countenance may be +imagined when he introduced into his mouth a quantity of this +exquisite compound. + +"The best of the joke was," says the author who records so many of +the pitiless tricks practised upon poor Poinsinet, "that the little +man used to laugh at them afterwards himself with perfect good +humor; and lived in the daily hope that, from being the sufferer, +he should become the agent in these hoaxes, and do to others as he +had been done by." Passing, therefore, one day, on the Pont Neuf, +with a friend, who had been one of the greatest performers, the +latter said to him, "Poinsinet, my good fellow, thou hast suffered +enough, and thy sufferings have made thee so wise and cunning, that +thou art worthy of entering among the initiated, and hoaxing in thy +turn." Poinsinet was charmed; he asked when he should be +initiated, and how? It was told him that a moment would suffice, +and that the ceremony might be performed on the spot. At this +news, and according to order, Poinsinet flung himself straightway +on his knees in the kennel; and the other, drawing his sword, +solemnly initiated him into the sacred order of jokers. From that +day the little man believed himself received into the society; and +to this having brought him, let us bid him a respectful adieu. + + + + +THE DEVIL'S WAGER. + + +It was the hour of the night when there be none stirring save +churchyard ghosts--when all doors are closed except the gates of +graves, and all eyes shut but the eyes of wicked men. + +When there is no sound on the earth except the ticking of the +grasshopper, or the croaking of obscene frogs in the poole. + +And no light except that of the blinking starres, and the wicked +and devilish wills-o'-the-wisp, as they gambol among the marshes, +and lead good men astraye. + +When there is nothing moving in heaven except the owle, as he +flappeth along lazily; or the magician, as he rides on his infernal +broomsticke, whistling through the aire like the arrowes of a +Yorkshire archere. + +It was at this hour (namely, at twelve o'clock of the night,) that +two beings went winging through the black clouds, and holding +converse with each other. + +Now the first was Mercurius, the messenger, not of gods (as the +heathens feigned), but of daemons; and the second, with whom he held +company, was the soul of Sir Roger de Rollo, the brave knight. Sir +Roger was Count of Chauchigny, in Champagne; Seigneur of Santerre, +Villacerf and aultre lieux. But the great die as well as the +humble; and nothing remained of brave Rodger now, but his coffin +and his deathless soul. + +And Mercurius, in order to keep fast the soul, his companion, had +bound him round the neck with his tail; which, when the soul was +stubborn, he would draw so tight as to strangle him wellnigh, +sticking into him the barbed point thereof; whereat the poor soul, +Sir Rollo, would groan and roar lustily. + +Now they two had come together from the gates of purgatorie, being +bound to those regions of fire and flame where poor sinners fry and +roast in saecula saeculorum. + +"It is hard," said the poor Sir Rollo, as they went gliding through +the clouds, "that I should thus be condemned for ever, and all for +want of a single ave." + +"How, Sir Soul?" said the daemon. "You were on earth so wicked, +that not one, or a million of aves, could suffice to keep from +hell-flame a creature like thee; but cheer up and be merry; thou +wilt be but a subject of our lord the Devil, as am I; and, perhaps, +thou wilt be advanced to posts of honor, as am I also:" and to show +his authoritie, he lashed with his tail the ribbes of the wretched +Rollo. + +"Nevertheless, sinner as I am, one more ave would have saved me; +for my sister, who was Abbess of St. Mary of Chauchigny, did so +prevail, by her prayer and good works, for my lost and wretched +soul, that every day I felt the pains of purgatory decrease; the +pitchforks which, on my first entry, had never ceased to vex and +torment my poor carcass, were now not applied above once a week; +the roasting had ceased, the boiling had discontinued; only a +certain warmth was kept up, to remind me of my situation." + +"A gentle stewe," said the daemon. + +"Yea, truly, I was but in a stew, and all from the effects of the +prayers of my blessed sister. But yesterday, he who watched me in +purgatory told me, that yet another prayer from my sister, and my +bonds should be unloosed, and I, who am now a devil, should have +been a blessed angel." + +"And the other ave?" said the daemon. + +"She died, sir--my sister died--death choked her in the middle of +the prayer." And hereat the wretched spirit began to weepe and +whine piteously; his salt tears falling over his beard, and +scalding the tail of Mercurius the devil. + +"It is, in truth, a hard case," said the daemon; "but I know of no +remedy save patience, and for that you will have an excellent +opportunity in your lodgings below." + +"But I have relations," said the Earl; "my kinsman Randal, who has +inherited my lands, will he not say a prayer for his uncle?" + +"Thou didst hate and oppress him when living." + +"It is true; but an ave is not much; his sister, my niece, Matilda--" + +"You shut her in a convent, and hanged her lover." + +"Had I not reason? besides, has she not others?" + +"A dozen, without doubt." + +"And my brother, the prior?" + +"A liege subject of my lord the Devil: he never opens his mouth, +except to utter an oath, or to swallow a cup of wine." + +"And yet, if but one of these would but say an ave for me, I should +be saved." + +"Aves with them are rarae aves," replied Mercurius, wagging his tail +right waggishly; "and, what is more, I will lay thee any wager that +not one of these will say a prayer to save thee." + +"I would wager willingly," responded he of Chauchigny; "but what +has a poor soul like me to stake?" + +"Every evening, after the day's roasting, my lord Satan giveth a +cup of cold water to his servants; I will bet thee thy water for a +year, that none of the three will pray for thee." + +"Done!" said Rollo. + +"Done!" said the daemon; "and here, if I mistake not, is thy castle +of Chauchigny." + +Indeed, it was true. The soul, on looking down, perceived the tall +towers, the courts, the stables, and the fair gardens of the +castle. Although it was past midnight, there was a blaze of light +in the banqueting-hall, and a lamp burning in the open window of +the Lady Matilda. + +"With whom shall we begin?" said the daemon: "with the baron or the +lady?" + +"With the lady, if you will." + +"Be it so; her window is open, let us enter." + +So they descended, and entered silently into Matilda's chamber. + + +The young lady's eyes were fixed so intently on a little clock, +that it was no wonder that she did not perceive the entrance of her +two visitors. Her fair cheek rested on her white arm, and her +white arm on the cushion of a great chair in which she sat, +pleasantly supported by sweet thoughts and swan's down; a lute was +at her side, and a book of prayers lay under the table (for piety +is always modest). Like the amorous Alexander, she sighed and +looked (at the clock)--and sighed for ten minutes or more, when she +softly breathed the word "Edward!" + +At this the soul of the Baron was wroth. "The jade is at her old +pranks," said he to the devil; and then addressing Matilda: "I pray +thee, sweet niece, turn thy thoughts for a moment from that +villanous page, Edward, and give them to thine affectionate uncle." + +When she heard the voice, and saw the awful apparition of her uncle +(for a year's sojourn in purgatory had not increased the comeliness +of his appearance), she started, screamed, and of course fainted. + +But the devil Mercurius soon restored her to herself. "What's +o'clock?" said she, as soon as she had recovered from her fit: "is +he come?" + +"Not thy lover, Maude, but thine uncle--that is, his soul. For the +love of heaven, listen to me: I have been frying in purgatory for a +year past, and should have been in heaven but for the want of a +single ave." + +"I will say it for thee to-morrow, uncle." + +"To-night, or never." + +"Well, to-night be it:" and she requested the devil Mercurius to +give her the prayer-book from under the table; but he had no sooner +touched the holy book than he dropped it with a shriek and a yell. +"It was hotter," he said, "than his master Sir Lucifer's own +particular pitchfork." And the lady was forced to begin her ave +without the aid of her missal. + +At the commencement of her devotions the daemon retired, and carried +with him the anxious soul of poor Sir Roger de Rollo. + +The lady knelt down--she sighed deeply; she looked again at the +clock, and began-- + +"Ave Maria." + +When a lute was heard under the window, and a sweet voice singing-- + +"Hark!" said Matilda. + + + "Now the toils of day are over, + And the sun hath sunk to rest, + Seeking, like a fiery lover, + The bosom of the blushing west-- + + "The faithful night keeps watch and ward, + Raising the moon, her silver shield, + And summoning the stars to guard + The slumbers of my fair Mathilde!" + + +"For mercy's sake!" said Sir Rollo, "the ave first, and next the +song." + +So Matilda again dutifully betook her to her devotions, and began-- + +"Ave Maria gratia plena!" but the music began again, and the prayer +ceased of course. + + + "The faithful night! Now all things lie + Hid by her mantle dark and dim, + In pious hope I hither hie, + And humbly chant mine ev'ning hymn. + + "Thou art my prayer, my saint, my shrine! + (For never holy pilgrim kneel'd, + Or wept at feet more pure than thine), + My virgin love, my sweet Mathilde!" + + +"Virgin love!" said the Baron. "Upon my soul, this is too bad!" +and he thought of the lady's lover whom he had caused to be hanged. + +But SHE only thought of him who stood singing at her window. + +"Niece Matilda!" cried Sir Roger, agonizedly, "wilt thou listen to +the lies of an impudent page, whilst thine uncle is waiting but a +dozen words to make him happy?" + +At this Matilda grew angry: "Edward is neither impudent nor a liar, +Sir Uncle, and I will listen to the end of the song." + +"Come away," said Mercurius; "he hath yet got wield, field, sealed, +congealed, and a dozen other rhymes beside; and after the song will +come the supper." + +So the poor soul was obliged to go; while the lady listened, and +the page sung away till morning. + + +"My virtues have been my ruin," said poor Sir Rollo, as he and +Mercurius slunk silently out of the window. "Had I hanged that +knave Edward, as I did the page his predecessor, my niece would +have sung mine ave, and I should have been by this time an angel in +heaven." + +"He is reserved for wiser purposes," responded the devil: "he will +assassinate your successor, the lady Mathilde's brother; and, in +consequence, will be hanged. In the love of the lady he will be +succeeded by a gardener, who will be replaced by a monk, who will +give way to an ostler, who will be deposed by a Jew pedler, who +shall, finally, yield to a noble earl, the future husband of the +fair Mathilde. So that, you see, instead of having one poor soul +a-frying, we may now look forward to a goodly harvest for our lord +the Devil." + +The soul of the Baron began to think that his companion knew too +much for one who would make fair bets; but there was no help for +it; he would not, and he could not, cry off: and he prayed inwardly +that the brother might be found more pious than the sister. + +But there seemed little chance of this. As they crossed the court, +lackeys, with smoking dishes and, full jugs, passed and repassed +continually, although it was long past midnight. On entering the +hall, they found Sir Randal at the head of a vast table, surrounded +by a fiercer and more motley collection of individuals than had +congregated there even in the time of Sir Rollo. The lord of the +castle had signified that "it was his royal pleasure to be drunk," +and the gentlemen of his train had obsequiously followed their +master. Mercurius was delighted with the scene, and relaxed his +usually rigid countenance into a bland and benevolent smile, which +became him wonderfully. + +The entrance of Sir Roger, who had been dead about a year, and a +person with hoofs, horns, and a tail, rather disturbed the hilarity +of the company. Sir Randal dropped his cup of wine; and Father +Peter, the confessor, incontinently paused in the midst of a +profane song, with which he was amusing the society. + +"Holy Mother!" cried he, "it is Sir Roger." + +"Alive!" screamed Sir Randal. + +"No, my lord," Mercurius said; "Sir Roger is dead, but cometh on a +matter of business; and I have the honor to act as his counsellor +and attendant." + +"Nephew," said Sir Roger, "the daemon saith justly; I am come on a +trifling affair, in which thy service is essential." + +"I will do anything, uncle, in my power." + +"Thou canst give me life, if thou wilt?" But Sir Randal looked +very blank at this proposition. "I mean life spiritual, Randal," +said Sir Roger; and thereupon he explained to him the nature of the +wager. + +Whilst he was telling his story, his companion Mercurius was +playing all sorts of antics in the hall; and, by his wit and fun, +became so popular with this godless crew, that they lost all the +fear which his first appearance had given them. The friar was +wonderfully taken with him, and used his utmost eloquence and +endeavors to convert the devil; the knights stopped drinking to +listen to the argument; the men-at-arms forbore brawling; and the +wicked little pages crowded round the two strange disputants, to +hear their edifying discourse. The ghostly man, however, had +little chance in the controversy, and certainly little learning to +carry it on. Sir Randal interrupted him. "Father Peter," said he, +"our kinsman is condemned for ever, for want of a single ave: wilt +thou say it for him?" "Willingly, my lord," said the monk, "with +my book;" and accordingly he produced his missal to read, without +which aid it appeared that the holy father could not manage the +desired prayer. But the crafty Mercurius had, by his devilish art, +inserted a song in the place of the ave, so that Father Peter, +instead of chanting an hymn, sang the following irreverent ditty-- + + + "Some love the matin-chimes, which toll + The hour of prayer to sinner: + But better far's the mid-day bell, + Which speaks the hour of dinner; + For when I see a smoking fish, + Or capon drown'd in gravy, + Or noble haunch on silver dish, + Full glad I sing mine ave. + + "My pulpit is an ale-house bench, + Whereon I sit so jolly; + A smiling rosy country wench + My saint and patron holy. + I kiss her cheek so red and sleek, + I press her ringlets wavy; + And in her willing ear I speak + A most religious ave. + + "And if I'm blind, yet heaven is kind, + And holy saints forgiving; + For sure he leads a right good life + Who thus admires good living. + Above, they say, our flesh is air, + Our blood celestial ichor: + Oh, grant! mid all the changes there, + They may not change our liquor!" + + +And with this pious wish the holy confessor tumbled under the table +in an agony of devout drunkenness; whilst the knights, the men-at- +arms, and the wicked little pages, rang out the last verse with a +most melodious and emphatic glee. "I am sorry, fair uncle," +hiccupped Sir Randal, "that, in the matter of the ave, we could not +oblige thee in a more orthodox manner; but the holy father has +failed, and there is not another man in the hall who hath an idea +of a prayer." + +"It is my own fault," said Sir Rollo; "for I hanged the last +confessor." And he wished his nephew a surly good-night, as he +prepared to quit the room. + +"Au revoir, gentlemen," said the devil Mercurius; and once more +fixed his tail round the neck of his disappointed companion. + +The spirit of poor Rollo was sadly cast down; the devil, on the +contrary, was in high good humor. He wagged his tail with the most +satisfied air in the world, and cut a hundred jokes at the expense +of his poor associate. On they sped, cleaving swiftly through the +cold night winds, frightening the birds that were roosting in the +woods, and the owls that were watching in the towers. + +In the twinkling of an eye, as it is known, devils can fly hundreds +of miles: so that almost the same beat of the clock which left +these two in Champagne, found them hovering over Paris. They +dropped into the court of the Lazarist Convent, and winded their +way, through passage and cloister, until they reached the door of +the prior's cell. + +Now the prior, Rollo's brother, was a wicked and malignant +sorcerer; his time was spent in conjuring devils and doing wicked +deeds, instead of fasting, scourging, and singing holy psalms: this +Mercurius knew; and he, therefore, was fully at ease as to the +final result of his wager with poor Sir Roger. + +"You seem to be well acquainted with the road," said the knight. + +"I have reason," answered Mercurius, "having, for a long period, +had the acquaintance of his reverence, your brother; but you have +little chance with him." + +"And why?" said Sir Rollo. + +"He is under a bond to my master, never to say a prayer, or else +his soul and his body are forfeited at once." + +"Why, thou false and traitorous devil!" said the enraged knight; +"and thou knewest this when we made our wager?" + +"Undoubtedly: do you suppose I would have done so had there been +any chance of losing?" + +And with this they arrived at Father Ignatius's door. + +"Thy cursed presence threw a spell on my niece, and stopped the +tongue of my nephew's chaplain; I do believe that had I seen either +of them alone, my wager had been won." + +"Certainly; therefore, I took good care to go with thee: however, +thou mayest see the prior alone, if thou wilt; and lo! his door is +open. I will stand without for five minutes, when it will be time +to commence our journey." + +It was the poor Baron's last chance: and he entered his brother's +room more for the five minutes' respite than from any hope of +success. + +Father Ignatius, the prior, was absorbed in magic calculations: he +stood in the middle of a circle of skulls, with no garment except +his long white beard, which reached to his knees; he was waving a +silver rod, and muttering imprecations in some horrible tongue. + +But Sir Rollo came forward and interrupted his incantation. "I +am," said he, "the shade of thy brother Roger de Rollo; and have +come, from pure brotherly love, to warn thee of thy fate." + +"Whence camest thou?" + +"From the abode of the blessed in Paradise," replied Sir Roger, who +was inspired with a sudden thought; "it was but five minutes ago +that the Patron Saint of thy church told me of thy danger, and of +thy wicked compact with the fiend. 'Go,' said he, 'to thy +miserable brother, and tell him there is but one way by which he +may escape from paying the awful forfeit of his bond.'" + +"And how may that be?" said the prior; "the false fiend hath +deceived me; I have given him my soul, but have received no worldly +benefit in return. Brother! dear brother! how may I escape?" + +"I will tell thee. As soon as I heard the voice of blessed St. +Mary Lazarus" (the worthy Earl had, at a pinch, coined the name of +a saint), "I left the clouds, where, with other angels, I was +seated, and sped hither to save thee. 'Thy brother,' said the +Saint, 'hath but one day more to live, when he will become for all +eternity the subject of Satan; if he would escape, he must boldly +break his bond, by saying an ave.'" + +"It is the express condition of the agreement," said the unhappy +monk, "I must say no prayer, or that instant I become Satan's, body +and soul." + +"It is the express condition of the Saint," answered Roger, +fiercely; "pray, brother, pray, or thou art lost for ever." + +So the foolish monk knelt down, and devoutly sung out an ave. +"Amen!" said Sir Roger, devoutly. + +"Amen!" said Mercurius, as, suddenly, coming behind, he seized +Ignatius by his long beard, and flew up with him to the top of the +church-steeple. + +The monk roared, and screamed, and swore against his brother; but +it was of no avail: Sir Roger smiled kindly on him, and said, "Do +not fret, brother; it must have come to this in a year or two." + +And he flew alongside of Mercurius to the steeple-top: BUT THIS +TIME THE DEVIL HAD NOT HIS TAIL ROUND HIS NECK. "I will let thee +off thy bet," said he to the daemon; for he could afford, now, to be +generous. + +"I believe, my lord," said the daemon, politely, "that our ways +separate here." Sir Roger sailed gayly upwards: while Mercurius +having bound the miserable monk faster than ever, he sunk downwards +to earth, and perhaps lower. Ignatius was heard roaring and +screaming as the devil dashed him against the iron spikes and +buttresses of the church. + + +The moral of this story will be given in the second edition. + + + + +MADAME SAND AND THE NEW APOCALYPSE. + + +I don't know an impression more curious than that which is formed +in a foreigner's mind, who has been absent from this place for two +or three years, returns to it, and beholds the change which has +taken place, in the meantime, in French fashions and ways of +thinking. Two years ago, for instance, when I left the capital, I +left the young gentlemen of France with their hair brushed en +toupet in front, and the toes of their boots round; now the boot- +toes are pointed, and the hair combed flat, and, parted in the +middle, falls in ringlets on the fashionable shoulders; and, in +like manner, with books as with boots, the fashion has changed +considerably, and it is not a little curious to contrast the old +modes with the new. Absurd as was the literary dandyism of those +days, it is not a whit less absurd now: only the manner is changed, +and our versatile Frenchmen have passed from one caricature to +another. + +The revolution may be called a caricature of freedom, as the empire +was of glory; and what they borrow from foreigners undergoes the +same process. They take top-boots and mackintoshes from across the +water, and caricature our fashions; they read a little, very +little, Shakespeare, and caricature our poetry: and while in +David's time art and religion were only a caricature of Heathenism, +now, on the contrary, these two commodities are imported from +Germany; and distorted caricatures originally, are still farther +distorted on passing the frontier. + +I trust in heaven that German art and religion will take no hold in +our country (where there is a fund of roast-beef that will expel +any such humbug in the end); but these sprightly Frenchmen have +relished the mystical doctrines mightily; and having watched the +Germans, with their sanctified looks, and quaint imitations of the +old times, and mysterious transcendental talk, are aping many of +their fashions; as well and solemnly as they can: not very +solemnly, God wot; for I think one should always prepare to grin +when a Frenchman looks particularly grave, being sure that there +is something false and ridiculous lurking under the owl-like +solemnity. + +When last in Paris, we were in the midst of what was called a +Catholic reaction. Artists talked of faith in poems and pictures; +churches were built here and there; old missals were copied and +purchased; and numberless portraits of saints, with as much gilding +about them as ever was used in the fifteenth century, appeared in +churches, ladies' boudoirs, and picture-shops. One or two +fashionable preachers rose, and were eagerly followed; the very +youth of the schools gave up their pipes and billiards for some +time, and flocked in crowds to Notre Dame, to sit under the feet of +Lacordaire. I went to visit the Church of Notre Dame de Lorette +yesterday, which was finished in the heat of this Catholic rage, +and was not a little struck by the similarity of the place to the +worship celebrated in it, and the admirable manner in which the +architect has caused his work to express the public feeling of the +moment. It is a pretty little bijou of a church: it is supported +by sham marble pillars; it has a gaudy ceiling of blue and gold, +which will look very well for some time; and is filled with gaudy +pictures and carvings, in the very pink of the mode. The +congregation did not offer a bad illustration of the present state +of Catholic reaction. Two or three stray people were at prayers; +there was no service; a few countrymen and idlers were staring +about at the pictures; and the Swiss, the paid guardian of the +place, was comfortably and appropriately asleep on his bench at the +door. I am inclined to think the famous reaction is over: the +students have taken to their Sunday pipes and billiards again; and +one or two cafes have been established, within the last year, that +are ten times handsomer than Notre Dame de Lorette. + +However, if the immortal Gorres and the German mystics have had +their day, there is the immortal Gothe, and the Pantheists; and I +incline to think that the fashion has set very strongly in their +favor. Voltaire and the Encyclopaedians are voted, now, barbares, +and there is no term of reprobation strong enough for heartless +Humes and Helvetiuses, who lived but to destroy, and who only +thought to doubt. Wretched as Voltaire's sneers and puns are, I +think there is something more manly and earnest even in them, than +in the present muddy French transcendentalism. Pantheism is the +word now; one and all have begun to eprouver the besoin of a +religious sentiment; and we are deluged with a host of gods +accordingly. Monsieur de Balzac feels himself to be inspired; +Victor Hugo is a god; Madame Sand is a god; that tawdry man of +genius, Jules Janin, who writes theatrical reviews for the Debats, +has divine intimations; and there is scarce a beggarly, beardless +scribbler of poems and prose, but tells you, in his preface, of the +saintete of the sacerdoce litteraire; or a dirty student, sucking +tobacco and beer, and reeling home with a grisette from the +chaumiere, who is not convinced of the necessity of a new +"Messianism," and will hiccup, to such as will listen, chapters of +his own drunken Apocalypse. Surely, the negatives of the old days +were far less dangerous than the assertions of the present; and you +may fancy what a religion that must be, which has such high +priests. + +There is no reason to trouble the reader with details of the lives +of many of these prophets and expounders of new revelations. +Madame Sand, for instance, I do not know personally, and can only +speak of her from report. True or false, the history, at any rate, +is not very edifying; and so may be passed over: but, as a certain +great philosopher told us, in very humble and simple words, that we +are not to expect to gather grapes from thorns, or figs from +thistles, we may, at least, demand, in all persons assuming the +character of moralist or philosopher--order, soberness, and +regularity of life; for we are apt to distrust the intellect that +we fancy can be swayed by circumstance or passion; and we know how +circumstance and passion WILL sway the intellect: how mortified +vanity will form excuses for itself; and how temper turns angrily +upon conscience, that reproves it. How often have we called our +judge our enemy, because he has given sentence against us!--How +often have we called the right wrong, because the right condemns +us! And in the lives of many of the bitter foes of the Christian +doctrine, can we find no personal reason for their hostility? The +men in Athens said it was out of regard for religion that they +murdered Socrates; but we have had time, since then, to reconsider +the verdict; and Socrates' character is pretty pure now, in spite +of the sentence and the jury of those days. + +The Parisian philosophers will attempt to explain to you the +changes through which Madame Sand's mind has passed,--the +initiatory trials, labors, and sufferings which she has had to go +through,--before she reached her present happy state of mental +illumination. She teaches her wisdom in parables, that are, +mostly, a couple of volumes long; and began, first, by an eloquent +attack on marriage, in the charming novel of "Indiana." "Pity," +cried she, "for the poor woman who, united to a being whose brute +force makes him her superior, should venture to break the bondage +which is imposed on her, and allow her heart to be free." + +In support of this claim of pity, she writes two volumes of the +most exquisite prose. What a tender, suffering creature is +Indiana; how little her husband appreciates that gentleness which +he is crushing by his tyranny and brutal scorn; how natural it is +that, in the absence of his sympathy, she, poor clinging confiding +creature, should seek elsewhere for shelter; how cautious should we +be, to call criminal--to visit with too heavy a censure--an act +which is one of the natural impulses of a tender heart, that seeks +but for a worthy object of love. But why attempt to tell the tale +of beautiful Indiana? Madame Sand has written it so well, that not +the hardest-hearted husband in Christendom can fail to be touched +by her sorrows, though he may refuse to listen to her argument. +Let us grant, for argument's sake, that the laws of marriage, +especially the French laws of marriage, press very cruelly upon +unfortunate women. + +But if one wants to have a question of this, or any nature, +honestly argued, it is, better, surely, to apply to an indifferent +person for an umpire. For instance, the stealing of pocket- +handkerchiefs or snuff-boxes may or may not be vicious; but if we, +who have not the wit, or will not take the trouble to decide the +question ourselves, want to hear the real rights of the matter, we +should not, surely, apply to a pickpocket to know what he thought +on the point. It might naturally be presumed that he would be +rather a prejudiced person--particularly as his reasoning, if +successful, might get him OUT OF GAOL. This is a homely +illustration, no doubt; all we would urge by it is, that Madame +Sand having, according to the French newspapers, had a stern +husband, and also having, according to the newspapers, sought +"sympathy" elsewhere, her arguments may be considered to be +somewhat partial, and received with some little caution. + +And tell us who have been the social reformers?--the haters, that +is, of the present system, according to which we live, love, marry, +have children, educate them, and endow them--ARE THEY PURE +THEMSELVES? I do believe not one; and directly a man begins to +quarrel with the world and its ways, and to lift up, as he calls +it, the voice of his despair, and preach passionately to mankind +about this tyranny of faith, customs, laws; if we examine what the +personal character of the preacher is, we begin pretty clearly to +understand the value of the doctrine. Any one can see why Rousseau +should be such a whimpering reformer, and Byron such a free and +easy misanthropist, and why our accomplished Madame Sand, who has a +genius and eloquence inferior to neither, should take the present +condition of mankind (French-kind) so much to heart, and labor so +hotly to set it right. + +After "Indiana" (which, we presume, contains the lady's notions +upon wives and husbands) came "Valentine," which may be said to +exhibit her doctrine, in regard of young men and maidens, to whom +the author would accord, as we fancy, the same tender license. +"Valentine" was followed by "Lelia," a wonderful book indeed, +gorgeous in eloquence, and rich in magnificent poetry: a regular +topsyturvyfication of morality, a thieves' and prostitutes' +apotheosis. This book has received some late enlargements and +emendations by the writer; it contains her notions on morals, +which, as we have said, are so peculiar, that, alas! they only can +be mentioned here, not particularized: but of "Spiridion" we may +write a few pages, as it is her religious manifesto. + +In this work, the lady asserts her pantheistical doctrine, and +openly attacks the received Christian creed. She declares it to be +useless now, and unfitted to the exigencies and the degree of +culture of the actual world; and, though it would be hardly worth +while to combat her opinions in due form, it is, at least, worth +while to notice them, not merely from the extraordinary eloquence +and genius of the woman herself, but because they express the +opinions of a great number of people besides: for she not only +produces her own thoughts, but imitates those of others very +eagerly; and one finds in her writings so much similarity with +others, or, in others, so much resemblance to her, that the book +before us may pass for the expression of the sentiments of a +certain French party. + +"Dieu est mort," says another writer of the same class, and of +great genius too.--"Dieu est mort," writes Mr. Henry Heine, +speaking of the Christian God; and he adds, in a daring figure of +speech;--"N'entendez-vous pas sonner la Clochette?--on porte les +sacremens a un Dieu qui se meurt!" Another of the pantheist +poetical philosophers, Mr. Edgar Quinet, has a poem, in which +Christ and the Virgin Mary are made to die similarly, and the +former is classed with Prometheus. This book of "Spiridion" is a +continuation of the theme, and perhaps you will listen to some of +the author's expositions of it. + +It must be confessed that the controversialists of the present day +have an eminent advantage over their predecessors in the days of +folios; it required some learning then to write a book, and some +time, at least--for the very labor of writing out a thousand such +vast pages would demand a considerable period. But now, in the age +of duodecimos, the system is reformed altogether: a male or female +controversialist draws upon his imagination, and not his learning; +makes a story instead of an argument, and, in the course of 150 +pages (where the preacher has it all his own way) will prove or +disprove you anything. And, to our shame be it said, we +Protestants have set the example of this kind of proselytism--those +detestable mixtures of truth, lies, false sentiment, false +reasoning, bad grammar, correct and genuine philanthropy and piety-- +I mean our religious tracts, which any woman or man, be he ever so +silly, can take upon himself to write, and sell for a penny, as if +religious instruction were the easiest thing in the world. We, I +say, have set the example in this kind of composition, and all the +sects of the earth will, doubtless, speedily follow it. I can +point you out blasphemies in famous pious tracts that are as +dreadful as those above mentioned; but this is no place for such +discussions, and we had better return to Madame Sand. As Mrs. +Sherwood expounds, by means of many touching histories and +anecdotes of little boys and girls, her notions of church history, +church catechism, church doctrine;--as the author of "Father +Clement, a Roman Catholic Story," demolishes the stately structure +of eighteen centuries, the mighty and beautiful Roman Catholic +faith, in whose bosom repose so many saints and sages,--by the +means of a three-and-sixpenny duodecimo volume, which tumbles over +the vast fabric, as David's pebble-stone did Goliath;--as, again, +the Roman Catholic author of "Geraldine" falls foul of Luther and +Calvin, and drowns the awful echoes of their tremendous protest by +the sounds of her little half-crown trumpet: in like manner, by +means of pretty sentimental tales, and cheap apologues, Mrs. Sand +proclaims HER truth--that we need a new Messiah, and that the +Christian religion is no more! O awful, awful name of God! Light +unbearable! Mystery unfathomable! Vastness immeasurable!--Who are +these who come forward to explain the mystery, and gaze unblinking +into the depths of the light, and measure the immeasurable vastness +to a hair? O name, that God's people of old did fear to utter! O +light, that God's prophet would have perished had he seen! Who are +these that are now so familiar with it?--Women, truly; for the most +part weak women--weak in intellect, weak mayhap in spelling and +grammar, but marvellously strong in faith:--women, who step down to +the people with stately step and voice of authority, and deliver +their twopenny tablets, as if there were some Divine authority for +the wretched nonsense recorded there! + +With regard to the spelling and grammar, our Parisian Pythoness +stands, in the goodly fellowship, remarkable. Her style is a +noble, and, as far as a foreigner can judge, a strange tongue, +beautifully rich and pure. She has a very exuberant imagination, +and, with it, a very chaste style of expression. She never +scarcely indulges in declamation, as other modern prophets do, and +yet her sentences are exquisitely melodious and full. She seldom +runs a thought to death (after the manner of some prophets, who, +when they catch a little one, toy with it until they kill it), but +she leaves you at the end of one of her brief, rich, melancholy +sentences, with plenty of food for future cogitation. I can't +express to you the charm of them; they seem to me like the sound of +country bells--provoking I don't know what vein of musing and +meditation, and falling sweetly and sadly on the ear. + +This wonderful power of language must have been felt by most people +who read Madame Sand's first books, "Valentine" and "Indiana": in +"Spiridion" it is greater, I think, than ever; and for those who +are not afraid of the matter of the novel, the manner will be found +most delightful. The author's intention, I presume, is to +describe, in a parable, her notions of the downfall of the Catholic +church; and, indeed, of the whole Christian scheme: she places her +hero in a monastery in Italy, where, among the characters about +him, and the events which occur, the particular tenets of Madame +Dudevant's doctrine are not inaptly laid down. Innocent, faithful, +tender-hearted, a young monk, by name Angel, finds himself, when he +has pronounced his vows, an object of aversion and hatred to the +godly men whose lives he so much respects, and whose love he would +make any sacrifice to win. After enduring much, he flings himself +at the feet of his confessor, and begs for his sympathy and +counsel; but the confessor spurns him away, and accuses him, +fiercely, of some unknown and terrible crime--bids him never return +to the confessional until contrition has touched his heart, and the +stains which sully his spirit are, by sincere repentance, washed +away. + +"Thus speaking," says Angel, "Father Hegesippus tore away his robe, +which I was holding in my supplicating hands. In a sort of +wildness I still grasped it tighter; he pushed me fiercely from +him, and I fell with my face towards the ground. He quitted me, +closing violently after him the door of the sacristy, in which this +scene had passed. I was left alone in the darkness. Either from +the violence of my fall, or the excess of my grief, a vein had +burst in my throat, and a haemorrhage ensued. I had not the force +to rise; I felt my senses rapidly sinking, and, presently, I lay +stretched on the pavement, unconscious, and bathed in my blood." + +[Now the wonderful part of the story begins.] + +"I know not how much time I passed in this way. As I came to +myself I felt an agreeable coolness. It seemed as if some +harmonious air was playing round about me, stirring gently in my +hair, and drying the drops of perspiration on my brow. It seemed +to approach, and then again to withdraw, breathing now softly and +sweetly in the distance, and now returning, as if to give me +strength and courage to rise. + +"I would not, however, do so as yet; for I felt myself, as I lay, +under the influence of a pleasure quite new to me; and listened, in +a kind of peaceful aberration, to the gentle murmurs of the summer +wind, as it breathed on me through the closed window-blinds above +me. Then I fancied I heard a voice that spoke to me from the end +of the sacristy: it whispered so low that I could not catch the +words. I remained motionless, and gave it my whole attention. At +last I heard, distinctly, the following sentence:--'Spirit of +Truth, raise up these victims of ignorance and imposture.' 'Father +Hegesippus,' said I, in a weak voice, 'is that you who are +returning to me?' But no one answered. I lifted myself on my +hands and knees, I listened again, but I heard nothing. I got up +completely, and looked about me: I had fallen so near to the only +door in this little room, that none, after the departure of the +confessor, could have entered it without passing over me; besides, +the door was shut, and only opened from the inside by a strong lock +of the ancient shape. I touched it, and assured myself that it was +closed. I was seized with terror, and, for some moments, did not +dare to move. Leaning against the door, I looked round, and +endeavored to see into the gloom in which the angles of the room +were enveloped. A pale light, which came from an upper window, +half closed, was seen to be trembling in the midst of the +apartment. The wind beat the shutter to and fro, and enlarged or +diminished the space through which the light issued. The objects +which were in this half light--the praying-desk, surmounted by its +skull--a few books lying on the benches--a surplice hanging against +the wall--seemed to move with the shadow of the foliage that the +air agitated behind the window. When I thought I was alone, I felt +ashamed of my former timidity; I made the sign of the cross, and +was about to move forward in order to open the shutter altogether, +but a deep sigh came from the praying-desk, and kept me nailed to +my place. And yet I saw the desk distinctly enough to be sure that +no person was near it. Then I had an idea which gave me courage. +Some person, I thought, is behind the shutter, and has been saying +his prayers outside without thinking of me. But who would be so +bold as to express such wishes and utter such a prayer as I had +just heard? + +"Curiosity, the only passion and amusement permitted in a cloister, +now entirely possessed me, and I advanced towards the window. But +I had not made a step when a black shadow, as it seemed to me, +detaching itself from the praying-desk, traversed the room, +directing itself towards the window, and passed swiftly by me. The +movement was so rapid that I had not time to avoid what seemed a +body advancing towards me, and my fright was so great that I +thought I should faint a second time. But I felt nothing, and, as +if the shadow had passed through me, I saw it suddenly disappear to +my left. + +"I rushed to the window, I pushed back the blind with precipitation, +and looked round the sacristy: I was there, entirely alone. I +looked into the garden--it was deserted, and the mid-day wind was +wandering among the flowers. I took courage, I examined all the +corners of the room; I looked behind the praying-desk, which was +very large, and I shook all the sacerdotal vestments which were +hanging on the walls, everything was in its natural condition, and +could give me no explanation of what had just occurred. The sight +of all the blood I had lost led me to fancy that my brain had, +probably, been weakened by the haemorrhage, and that I had been a +prey to some delusion. I retired to my cell, and remained shut up +there until the next day." + +I don't know whether the reader has been as much struck with the +above mysterious scene as the writer has; but the fancy of it +strikes me as very fine; and the natural SUPERNATURALNESS is kept +up in the best style. The shutter swaying to and fro, the fitful +LIGHT APPEARING over the furniture of the room, and giving it an +air of strange motion--the awful shadow which passed through the +body of the timid young novice--are surely very finely painted. "I +rushed to the shutter, and flung it back: there was no one in the +sacristy. I looked into the garden; it was deserted, and the mid- +day wind was roaming among the flowers." The dreariness is +wonderfully described: only the poor pale boy looking eagerly out +from the window of the sacristy, and the hot mid-day wind walking +in the solitary garden. How skilfully is each of these little +strokes dashed in, and how well do all together combine to make a +picture! But we must have a little more about Spiridion's +wonderful visitant. + + +"As I entered into the garden, I stepped a little on one side, to +make way for a person whom I saw before me. He was a young man of +surprising beauty, and attired in a foreign costume. Although +dressed in the large black robe which the superiors of our order +wear, he had, underneath, a short jacket of fine cloth, fastened +round the waist by a leathern belt, and a buckle of silver, after +the manner of the old German students. Like them, he wore, instead +of the sandals of our monks, short tight boots; and over the collar +of his shirt, which fell on his shoulders, and was as white as +snow, hung, in rich golden curls, the most beautiful hair I ever +saw. He was tall, and his elegant posture seemed to reveal to me +that he was in the habit of commanding. With much respect, and yet +uncertain, I half saluted him. He did not return my salute; but he +smiled on me with so benevolent an air, and at the same time, his +eyes severe and blue, looked towards me with an expression of such +compassionate tenderness, that his features have never since then +passed away from my recollection. I stopped, hoping he would speak +to me, and persuading myself, from the majesty of his aspect, that +he had the power to protect me; but the monk, who was walking +behind me, and who did not seem to remark him in the least, forced +him brutally to step aside from the walk, and pushed me so rudely +as almost to cause me to fall. Not wishing to engage in a quarrel +with this coarse monk, I moved away; but, after having taken a few +steps in the garden, I looked back, and saw the unknown still +gazing on me with looks of the tenderest solicitude. The sun shone +full upon him, and made his hair look radiant. He sighed, and +lifted his fine eyes to heaven, as if to invoke its justice in my +favor, and to call it to bear witness to my misery; he turned +slowly towards the sanctuary, entered into the quire, and was lost, +presently, in the shade. I longed to return, spite of the monk, to +follow this noble stranger, and to tell him my afflictions; but who +was he, that I imagined he would listen to them, and cause them to +cease? I felt, even while his softness drew me towards him, that +he still inspired me with a kind of fear; for I saw in his +physiognomy as much austerity as sweetness." + + +Who was he?--we shall see that. He was somebody very mysterious +indeed; but our author has taken care, after the manner of her sex, +to make a very pretty fellow of him, and to dress him in the most +becoming costumes possible. + + +The individual in tight boots and a rolling collar, with the +copious golden locks, and the solemn blue eyes, who had just gazed +on Spiridion, and inspired him with such a feeling of tender awe, +is a much more important personage than the reader might suppose at +first sight. This beautiful, mysterious, dandy ghost, whose +costume, with a true woman's coquetry, Madame Dudevant has so +rejoiced to describe--is her religious type, a mystical +representation of Faith struggling up towards Truth, through +superstition, doubt, fear, reason,--in tight inexpressibles, with +"a belt such as is worn by the old German students." You will +pardon me for treating such an awful person as this somewhat +lightly; but there is always, I think, such a dash of the +ridiculous in the French sublime, that the critic should try and do +justice to both, or he may fail in giving a fair account of either. +This character of Hebronius, the type of Mrs. Sand's convictions-- +if convictions they may be called--or, at least, the allegory under +which her doubts are represented, is, in parts, very finely drawn; +contains many passages of truth, very deep and touching, by the +side of others so entirely absurd and unreasonable, that the +reader's feelings are continually swaying between admiration and +something very like contempt--always in a kind of wonder at the +strange mixture before him. But let us hear Madame Sand:-- + +"Peter Hebronius," says our author, "was not originally so named. +His real name was Samuel. He was a Jew, and born in a little +village in the neighborhood of Innspruck. His family, which +possessed a considerable fortune, left him, in his early youth, +completely free to his own pursuits. From infancy he had shown +that these were serious. He loved to be alone and passed his days, +and sometimes his nights, wandering among the mountains and valleys +in the neighborhood of his birthplace. He would often sit by the +brink of torrents, listening to the voice of their waters, and +endeavoring to penetrate the meaning which Nature had hidden in +those sounds. As he advanced in years, his inquiries became more +curious and more grave. It was necessary that he should receive a +solid education, and his parents sent him to study in the German +universities. Luther had been dead only a century, and his words +and his memory still lived in the enthusiasm of his disciples. +The new faith was strengthening the conquests it had made; the +Reformers were as ardent as in the first days, but their ardor was +more enlightened and more measured. Proselytism was still carried +on with zeal, and new converts were made every day. In listening +to the morality and to the dogmas which Lutheranism had taken from +Catholicism, Samuel was filled with admiration. His bold and +sincere spirit instantly compared the doctrines which were now +submitted to him, with those in the belief of which he had been +bred; and, enlightened by the comparison, was not slow to +acknowledge the inferiority of Judaism. He said to himself, that a +religion made for a single people, to the exclusion of all others,-- +which only offered a barbarous justice for rule of conduct,--which +neither rendered the present intelligible nor satisfactory, and +left the future uncertain,--could not be that of noble souls and +lofty intellects; and that he could not be the God of truth who had +dictated, in the midst of thunder, his vacillating will, and had +called to the performance of his narrow wishes the slaves of a +vulgar terror. Always conversant with himself, Samuel, who had +spoken what he thought, now performed what he had spoken; and, a +year after his arrival in Germany, solemnly abjured Judaism, and +entered into the bosom of the Reformed Church. As he did not wish +to do things by halves, and desired as much as was in him to put +off the old man and lead a new life, he changed his name of Samuel +to that of Peter. Some time passed, during which he strengthened +and instructed himself in his new religion. Very soon he arrived +at the point of searching for objections to refute, and adversaries +to overthrow. Bold and enterprising, he went at once to the +strongest, and Bossuet was the first Catholic author that he set +himself to read. He commenced with a kind of disdain; believing +that the faith which he had just embraced contained the pure truth. +He despised all the attacks which could be made against it, and +laughed already at the irresistible arguments which he was to find +in the works of the Eagle of Meaux. But his mistrust and irony +soon gave place to wonder first, and then to admiration: he thought +that the cause pleaded by such an advocate must, at least, be +respectable; and, by a natural transition, came to think that great +geniuses would only devote themselves to that which was great. He +then studied Catholicism with the same ardor and impartiality which +he had bestowed on Lutheranism. He went into France to gain +instruction from the professors of the Mother Church, as he had +from the Doctors of the reformed creed in Germany. He saw Arnauld +Fenelon, that second Gregory of Nazianzen, and Bossuet himself. +Guided by these masters, whose virtues made him appreciate their +talents the more, he rapidly penetrated to the depth of the +mysteries of the Catholic doctrine and morality. He found, in this +religion, all that had for him constituted the grandeur and beauty +of Protestantism,--the dogmas of the Unity and Eternity of God, +which the two religions had borrowed from Judaism; and, what seemed +the natural consequence of the last doctrine--a doctrine, however, +to which the Jews had not arrived--the doctrine of the immortality +of the soul; free will in this life; in the next, recompense for +the good, and punishment for the evil. He found, more pure, +perhaps, and more elevated in Catholicism than in Protestantism, +that sublime morality which preaches equality to man, fraternity, +love, charity, renouncement of self, devotion to your neighbor; +Catholicism, in a word, seemed to possess that vast formula, and +that vigorous unity, which Lutheranism wanted. The latter had, +indeed, in its favor, the liberty of inquiry, which is also a want +of the human mind; and had proclaimed the authority of individual +reason: but it had so lost that which is the necessary basis and +vital condition of all revealed religion--the principle of +infallibility; because nothing can live except in virtue of the +laws that presided at its birth; and, in consequence, one +revelation cannot be continued and confirmed without another. Now, +infallibility is nothing but revelation continued by God, or the +Word, in the person of his vicars. + + +"At last, after much reflection, Hebronius acknowledged himself +entirely and sincerely convinced, and received baptism from the +hands of Bossuet. He added the name of Spiridion to that of Peter, +to signify that he had been twice enlightened by the Spirit. +Resolved thenceforward to consecrate his life to the worship of the +new God who had called him to Him, and to the study of His +doctrines, he passed into Italy, and, with the aid of a large +fortune, which one of his uncles, a Catholic like himself, had left +to him, he built this convent where we now are." + + +A friend of mine, who has just come from Italy, says that he has +there left Messrs. Sp--r, P--l, and W. Dr--d, who were the lights +of the great church in Newman Street, who were themselves apostles, +and declared and believed that every word of nonsense which fell +from their lips was a direct spiritual intervention. These +gentlemen have become Puseyites already, and are, my friend states, +in the high way to Catholicism. Madame Sand herself was a Catholic +some time since: having been converted to that faith along with M. +N--, of the Academy of Music; Mr. L--, the pianoforte player; and +one or two other chosen individuals, by the famous Abbe de la M--. +Abbe de la M-- (so told me in the Diligence, a priest, who read his +breviary and gossiped alternately very curiously and pleasantly) is +himself an ame perdue: the man spoke of his brother clergyman with +actual horror; and it certainly appears that the Abbe's works of +conversion have not prospered; for Madame Sand, having brought her +hero (and herself, as we may presume) to the point of Catholicism, +proceeds directly to dispose of that as she has done of Judaism and +Protestantism, and will not leave, of the whole fabric of +Christianity, a single stone standing. + +I think the fate of our English Newman Street apostles, and of M. +de la M--, the mad priest, and his congregation of mad converts, +should be a warning to such of us as are inclined to dabble in +religious speculations; for, in them, as in all others, our flighty +brains soon lose themselves, and we find our reason speedily lying +prostrated at the mercy of our passions; and I think that Madame +Sand's novel of Spiridion may do a vast deal of good, and bears a +good moral with it; though not such an one, perhaps, as our fair +philosopher intended. For anything he learned, Samuel-Peter- +Spiridion-Hebronius might have remained a Jew from the beginning to +the end. Wherefore be in such a hurry to set up new faiths? +Wherefore, Madame Sand, try and be so preternaturally wise? +Wherefore be so eager to jump out of one religion, for the purpose +of jumping into another? See what good this philosophical +friskiness has done you, and on what sort of ground you are come at +last. You are so wonderfully sagacious, that you flounder in mud +at every step; so amazingly clear-sighted, that your eyes cannot +see an inch before you, having put out, with that extinguishing +genius of yours, every one of the lights that are sufficient for +the conduct of common men. And for what? Let our friend Spiridion +speak for himself. After setting up his convent, and filling it +with monks, who entertain an immense respect for his wealth and +genius, Father Hebronius, unanimously elected prior, gives himself +up to further studies, and leaves his monks to themselves. +Industrious and sober as they were, originally, they grow quickly +intemperate and idle; and Hebronius, who does not appear among his +flock until he has freed himself of the Catholic religion, as he +has of the Jewish and the Protestant, sees, with dismay, the evil +condition of his disciples, and regrets, too late, the precipitancy +by which he renounced, then and for ever, Christianity. "But, as +he had no new religion to adopt in its place, and as, grown more +prudent and calm, he did not wish to accuse himself unnecessarily, +once more, of inconstancy and apostasy, he still maintained all the +exterior forms of the worship which inwardly he had abjured. But +it was not enough for him to have quitted error, it was necessary +to discover truth. But Hebronius had well looked round to discover +it; he could not find anything that resembled it. Then commenced +for him a series of sufferings, unknown and terrible. Placed face +to face with doubt, this sincere and religious spirit was +frightened at its own solitude; and as it had no other desire nor +aim on earth than truth, and nothing else here below interested it, +he lived absorbed in his own sad contemplations, looked ceaselessly +into the vague that surrounded him like an ocean without bounds, +and seeing the horizon retreat and retreat as ever he wished to +near it. Lost in this immense uncertainty, he felt as if attacked +by vertigo, and his thoughts whirled within his brain. Then, +fatigued with his vain toils and hopeless endeavors, he would sink +down depressed, unmanned, life-wearied, only living in the sensation +of that silent grief which he felt and could not comprehend." + +It is a pity that this hapless Spiridion, so eager in his passage +from one creed to another, and so loud in his profession of the +truth, wherever he fancied that he had found it, had not waited a +little, before he avowed himself either Catholic or Protestant, and +implicated others in errors and follies which might, at least, have +been confined to his own bosom, and there have lain comparatively +harmless. In what a pretty state, for instance, will Messrs. Dr--d +and P--l have left their Newman Street congregation, who are still +plunged in their old superstitions, from which their spiritual +pastors and masters have been set free! In what a state, too, do +Mrs. Sand and her brother and sister philosophers, Templars, Saint +Simonians, Fourierites, Lerouxites, or whatever the sect may be, +leave the unfortunate people who have listened to their doctrines, +and who have not the opportunity, or the fiery versatility of +belief, which carries their teachers from one creed to another, +leaving only exploded lies and useless recantations behind them! I +wish the state would make a law that one individual should not be +allowed to preach more than one doctrine in his life, or, at any +rate, should be soundly corrected for every change of creed. How +many charlatans would have been silenced,--how much conceit would +have been kept within bounds,--how many fools, who are dazzled by +fine sentences, and made drunk by declamation, would have remained, +quiet and sober, in that quiet and sober way of faith which their +fathers held before them. However, the reader will be glad to +learn that, after all his doubts and sorrows, Spiridion does +discover the truth (THE truth, what a wise Spiridion!) and some +discretion with it; for, having found among his monks, who are +dissolute, superstitious--and all hate him--one only being, +Fulgentius, who is loving, candid, and pious, he says to him, "If +you were like myself, if the first want of your nature were, like +mine, to know, I would, without hesitation, lay bare to you my +entire thoughts. I would make you drink the cup of truth, which I +myself have filled with so many tears, at the risk of intoxicating +you with the draught. But it is not so, alas! you are made to love +rather than to know, and your heart is stronger than your +intellect. You are attached to Catholicism,--I believe so, at +least,--by bonds of sentiment which you could not break without +pain, and which, if you were to break, the truth which I could lay +bare to you in return would not repay you for what you had +sacrificed. Instead of exalting, it would crush you, very likely. +It is a food too strong for ordinary men, and which, when it does +not revivify, smothers. I will not, then, reveal to you this +doctrine, which is the triumph of my life, and the consolation of +my last days; because it might, perhaps, be for you only a cause of +mourning and despair. . . . . Of all the works which my long +studies have produced, there is one alone which I have not given to +the flames; for it alone is complete. In that you will find me +entire, and there LIES THE TRUTH. And, as the sage has said you +must not bury your treasures in a well, I will not confide mine to +the brutal stupidity of these monks. But as this volume should +only pass into hands worthy to touch it, and be laid open for eyes +that are capable of comprehending its mysteries, I shall exact from +the reader one condition, which, at the same time, shall be a +proof: I shall carry it with me to the tomb, in order that he who +one day shall read it, may have courage enough to brave the vain +terrors of the grave, in searching for it amid the dust of my +sepulchre. As soon as I am dead, therefore, place this writing on +my breast. . . . . Ah! when the time comes for reading it, I think +my withered heart will spring up again, as the frozen grass at the +return of the sun, and that, from the midst of its infinite +transformations, my spirit will enter into immediate communication +with thine!" + + +Does not the reader long to be at this precious manuscript, which +contains THE TRUTH; and ought he not to be very much obliged to +Mrs. Sand, for being so good as to print it for him? We leave all +the story aside: how Fulgentius had not the spirit to read the +manuscript, but left the secret to Alexis; how Alexis, a stern old +philosophical unbelieving monk as ever was, tried in vain to lift +up the gravestone, but was taken with fever, and obliged to forego +the discovery; and how, finally, Angel, his disciple, a youth +amiable and innocent as his name, was the destined person who +brought the long-buried treasure to light. Trembling and +delighted, the pair read this tremendous MANUSCRIPT OF SPIRIDION. + +Will it be believed, that of all the dull, vague, windy documents +that mortal ever set eyes on, this is the dullest? If this be +absolute truth, a quoi bon search for it, since we have long, long +had the jewel in our possession, or since, at least, it has been +held up as such by every sham philosopher who has had a mind to +pass off his wares on the public? Hear Spiridion:-- + +"How much have I wept, how much have I suffered, how much have I +prayed, how much have I labored, before I understood the cause and +the aim of my passage on this earth! After many incertitudes, +after much remorse, after many scruples, I HAVE COMPREHENDED THAT I +WAS A MARTYR!--But why my martyrdom? said I; what crimne did I +commit before I was born, thus to be condemned to labor and +groaning, from the hour when I first saw the day up to that when I +am about to enter into the night of the tomb? + +"At last, by dint of imploring God--by dint of inquiry into the +history of man, a ray of the truth has descended on my brow, and +the shadows of the past have melted from before my eyes. I have +lifted a corner of the curtain: I have seen enough to know that my +life, like that of the rest of the human race, has been a series of +necessary errors, yet, to speak more correctly, of incomplete +truths, conducting, more or less slowly and directly, to absolute +truth and ideal perfection. But when will they rise on the face of +the earth--when will they issue from the bosom of the Divinity-- +those generations who shall salute the august countenance of Truth, +and proclaim the reign of the ideal on earth? I see well how +humanity marches, but I neither can see its cradle nor its +apotheosis. Man seems to me a transitory race, between the beast +and the angel; but I know not how many centuries have been +required, that he might pass from the state of brute to the state +of man, and I cannot tell how many ages are necessary that he may +pass from the state of man to the state of angel! + +"Yet I hope, and I feel within me, at the approach of death, that +which warns me that great destinies await humanity. In this life +all is over for me. Much have I striven, to advance but little: I +have labored without ceasing, and have done almost nothing. Yet, +after pains immeasurable, I die content, for I know that I have +done all I could, and am sure that the little I have done will not +be lost. + +"What, then, have I done? this wilt thou demand of me, man of a +future age, who will seek for truth in the testaments of the past. +Thou who wilt be no more Catholic--no more Christian, thou wilt ask +of the poor monk, lying in the dust, an account of his life and +death. Thou wouldst know wherefore were his vows, why his +austerities, his labors, his retreat, his prayers? + +"You who turn back to me, in order that I may guide you on your +road, and that you may arrive more quickly at the goal which it has +not been my lot to attain, pause, yet, for a moment, and look upon +the past history of humanity. You will see that its fate has been +ever to choose between the least of two evils, and ever to commit +great faults in order to avoid others still greater. You will +see . . . . on one side, the heathen mythology, that debased the +spirit, in its efforts to deify the flesh; on the other, the +austere Christian principle, that debased the flesh too much, in +order to raise the worship of the spirit. You will see, afterwards, +how the religion of Christ embodies itself in a church, and raises +itself a generous democratic power against the tyranny of princes. +Later still, you will see how that power has attained its end, and +passed beyond it. You will see it, having chained and conquered +princes, league itself with them, in order to oppress the people, +and seize on temporal power. Schism, then, raises up against it the +standard of revolt, and preaches the bold and legitimate principle +of liberty of conscience: but, also, you will see how this liberty +of conscience brings religious anarchy in its train; or, worse +still, religious indifference and disgust. And if your soul, +shattered in the tempestuous changes which you behold humanity +undergoing, would strike out for itself a passage through the rocks, +amidst which, like a frail bark, lies tossing trembling truth, you +will be embarrassed to choose between the new philosophers--who, in +preaching tolerance, destroy religious and social unity--and the +last Christians, who, to preserve society, that is, religion and +philosophy, are obliged to brave the principle of toleration. Man +of truth! to whom I address, at once, my instruction and my +justification, at the time when you shall live, the science of truth +no doubt will have advanced a step. Think, then, of all your fathers +have suffered, as, bending beneath the weight of their ignorance and +uncertainty, they have traversed the desert across which, with so +much pain, they have conducted thee! And if the pride of thy young +learning shall make thee contemplate the petty strifes in which our +life has been consumed, pause and tremble, as you think of that +which is still unknown to yourself, and of the judgment that your +descendants will pass on you. Think of this, and learn to respect +all those who, seeking their way in all sincerity, have wandered +from the path, frightened by the storm, and sorely tried by the +severe hand of the All-Powerful. Think of this, and prostrate +yourself; for all these, even the most mistaken among them, are +saints and martyrs. + +"Without their conquests and their defeats, thou wert in darkness +still. Yes, their failures, their errors even, have a right to +your respect; for man is weak. . . . . Weep then, for us obscure +travellers--unknown victims, who, by our mortal sufferings and +unheard-of labors, have prepared the way before you. Pity me, who +have passionately loved justice, and perseveringly sought for +truth, only opened my eyes to shut them again for ever, and saw +that I had been in vain endeavoring to support a ruin, to take +refuge in a vault of which the foundations were worn away." . . . . + +The rest of the book of Spiridion is made up of a history of the +rise, progress, and (what our philosopher is pleased to call) decay +of Christianity--of an assertion, that the "doctrine of Christ is +incomplete;" that "Christ may, nevertheless, take his place in the +Pantheon of divine men!" and of a long, disgusting, absurd, and +impious vision, in which the Saviour, Moses, David, and Elijah are +represented, and in which Christ is made to say--"WE ARE ALL +MESSIAHS, when we wish to bring the reign of truth upon earth; we +are all Christs, when we suffer for it!" + +And this is the ultimatum, the supreme secret, the absolute truth! +and it has been published by Mrs. Sand, for so many napoleons per +sheet, in the Revue des Deux Mondes: and the Deux Mondes are to +abide by it for the future. After having attained it, are we a +whit wiser? "Man is between an angel and a beast: I don't know how +long it is since he was a brute--I can't say how long it will be +before he is an angel." Think of people living by their wits, and +living by such a wit as this! Think of the state of mental debauch +and disease which must have been passed through, ere such words +could be written, and could be popular! + +When a man leaves our dismal, smoky London atmosphere, and +breathes, instead of coal-smoke and yellow fog, this bright, clear, +French air, he is quite intoxicated by it at first, and feels a +glow in his blood, and a joy in his spirits, which scarcely thrice +a year, and then only at a distance from London, he can attain in +England. Is the intoxication, I wonder, permanent among the +natives? and may we not account for the ten thousand frantic freaks +of these people by the peculiar influence of French air and sun? +The philosophers are from night to morning drunk, the politicians +are drunk, the literary men reel and stagger from one absurdity to +another, and how shall we understand their vagaries? Let us +suppose, charitably, that Madame Sand had inhaled a more than +ordinary quantity of this laughing gas when she wrote for us this +precious manuscript of Spiridion. That great destinies are in +prospect for the human race we may fancy, without her ladyship's +word for it: but more liberal than she, and having a little +retrospective charity, as well as that easy prospective benevolence +which Mrs. Sand adopts, let us try and think there is some hope for +our fathers (who were nearer brutality than ourselves, according to +the Sandean creed), or else there is a very poor chance for us, +who, great philosophers as we are, are yet, alas! far removed from +that angelic consummation which all must wish for so devoutly. She +cannot say--is it not extraordinary?--how many centuries have been +necessary before man could pass from the brutal state to his +present condition, or how many ages will be required ere we may +pass from the state of man to the state of angels? What the deuce +is the use of chronology or philosophy? We were beasts, and we +can't tell when our tails dropped off: we shall be angels; but when +our wings are to begin to sprout, who knows? In the meantime, O +man of genius, follow our counsel: lead an easy life, don't stick +at trifles; never mind about DUTY, it is only made for slaves; if +the world reproach you, reproach the world in return, you have a +good loud tongue in your head: if your straight-laced morals injure +your mental respiration, fling off the old-fashioned stays, and +leave your free limbs to rise and fall as Nature pleases; and when +you have grown pretty sick of your liberty, and yet unfit to return +to restraint, curse the world, and scorn it, and be miserable, like +my Lord Byron and other philosophers of his kidney; or else mount a +step higher, and, with conceit still more monstrous, and mental +vision still more wretchedly debauched and weak, begin suddenly to +find yourself afflicted with a maudlin compassion for the human +race, and a desire to set them right after your own fashion. There +is the quarrelsome stage of drunkenness, when a man can as yet walk +and speak, when he can call names, and fling plates and wine- +glasses at his neighbor's head with a pretty good aim; after this +comes the pathetic stage, when the patient becomes wondrous +philanthropic, and weeps wildly, as he lies in the gutter, and +fancies he is at home in bed--where he ought to be; but this is an +allegory. + +I don't wish to carry this any farther, or to say a word in defence +of the doctrine which Mrs. Dudevant has found "incomplete";--here, +at least, is not the place for discussing its merits, any more than +Mrs. Sand's book was the place for exposing, forsooth, its errors: +our business is only with the day and the new novels, and the +clever or silly people who write them. Oh! if they but knew their +places, and would keep to them, and drop their absurd philosophical +jargon! Not all the big words in the world can make Mrs. Sand talk +like a philosopher: when will she go back to her old trade, of +which she was the very ablest practitioner in France? + +I should have been glad to give some extracts from the dramatic and +descriptive parts of the novel, that cannot, in point of style and +beauty, be praised too highly. One must suffice,--it is the +descent of Alexis to seek that unlucky manuscript, Spiridion. + +"It seemed to me," he begins, "that the descent was eternal; and +that I was burying myself in the depths of Erebus: at last, I +reached a level place,--and I heard a mournful voice deliver these +words, as it were, to the secret centre of the earth--'He will +mount that ascent no more!'--Immediately I heard arise towards me, +from the depth of invisible abysses, a myriad of formidable voices +united in a strange chant--'Let us destroy him! Let him be +destroyed! What does he here among the dead? Let him be delivered +back to torture! Let him be given again to life!' + +"Then a feeble light began to pierce the darkness, and I perceived +that I stood on the lowest step of a staircase, vast as the foot of +a mountain. Behind me were thousands of steps of lurid iron; +before me, nothing but a void--an abyss, and ether; the blue gloom +of midnight beneath my feet, as above my head. I became delirious, +and quitting that staircase, which methought it was impossible for +me to reascend, I sprung forth into the void with an execration. +But, immediately, when I had uttered the curse, the void began to +be filled with forms and colors, and I presently perceived that I +was in a vast gallery, along which I advanced, trembling. There +was still darkness round me; but the hollows of the vaults gleamed +with a red light, and showed me the strange and hideous forms of +their building. . . . . I did not distinguish the nearest objects; +but those towards which I advanced assumed an appearance more and +more ominous, and my terror increased with every step I took. The +enormous pillars which supported the vault, and the tracery thereof +itself, were figures of men, of supernatural stature, delivered to +tortures without a name. Some hung by their feet, and, locked in +the coils of monstrous serpents, clenched their teeth in the marble +of the pavement; others, fastened by their waists, were dragged +upwards, these by their feet, those by their heads, towards +capitals, where other figures stooped towards them, eager to +torment them. Other pillars, again, represented a struggling mass +of figures devouring one another; each of which only offered a +trunk severed to the knees or to the shoulders, the fierce heads +whereof retained life enough to seize and devour that which was +near them. There were some who, half hanging down, agonized +themselves by attempting, with their upper limbs, to flay the lower +moiety of their bodies, which drooped from the columns, or were +attached to the pedestals; and others, who, in their fight with +each other, were dragged along by morsels of flesh,--grasping +which, they clung to each other with a countenance of unspeakable +hate and agony. Along, or rather in place of, the frieze, there +were on either side a range of unclean beings, wearing the human +form, but of a loathsome ugliness, busied in tearing human corpses +to pieces--in feasting upon their limbs and entrails. From the +vault, instead of bosses and pendants, hung the crushed and wounded +forms of children; as if to escape these eaters of man's flesh, +they would throw themselves downwards, and be dashed to pieces on +the pavement. . . . . The silence and motionlessness of the whole +added to its awfulness. I became so faint with terror, that I +stopped, and would fain have returned. But at that moment I heard, +from the depths of the gloom through which I had passed, confused +noises, like those of a multitude on its march. And the sounds +soon became more distinct, and the clamor fiercer, and the steps +came hurrying on tumultuously--at every new burst nearer, more +violent, more threatening. I thought that I was pursued by this +disorderly crowd; and I strove to advance, hurrying into the midst +of those dismal sculptures. Then it seemed as if those figures +began to heave,--and to sweat blood,--and their beady eyes to move +in their sockets. At once I beheld that they were all looking upon +me, that they were all leaning towards me,--some with frightful +derision, others with furious aversion. Every arm was raised +against me, and they made as though they would crush me with the +quivering limbs they had torn one from the other." . . . . + +It is, indeed, a pity that the poor fellow gave himself the trouble +to go down into damp, unwholesome graves, for the purpose of +fetching up a few trumpery sheets of manuscript; and if the public +has been rather tired with their contents, and is disposed to ask +why Mrs. Sand's religious or irreligious notions are to be brought +forward to people who are quite satisfied with their own, we can +only say that this lady is the representative of a vast class of +her countrymen, whom the wits and philosophers of the eighteenth +century have brought to this condition. The leaves of the Diderot +and Rousseau tree have produced this goodly fruit: here it is, +ripe, bursting, and ready to fall;--and how to fall? Heaven send +that it may drop easily, for all can see that the time is come. + + + + +THE CASE OF PEYTEL: + +IN A LETTER TO EDWARD BRIEFLESS, ESQUIRE, OF PUMP COURT, TEMPLE. + + +PARIS, November, 1839. + +MY DEAR BRIEFLESS,--Two months since, when the act of accusation +first appeared, containing the sum of the charges against Sebastian +Peytel, all Paris was in a fervor on the subject. The man's trial +speedily followed, and kept for three days the public interest +wound up to a painful point. He was found guilty of double murder +at the beginning of September; and, since that time, what with +Maroto's disaffection and Turkish news, we have had leisure to +forget Monsieur Peytel, and to occupy ourselves with [Greek text +omitted]. Perhaps Monsieur de Balzac helped to smother what little +sparks of interest might still have remained for the murderous +notary. Balzac put forward a letter in his favor, so very long, so +very dull, so very pompous, promising so much, and performing so +little, that the Parisian public gave up Peytel and his case +altogether; nor was it until to-day that some small feeling was +raised concerning him, when the newspapers brought the account how +Peytel's head had been cut off at Bourg. + +He had gone through the usual miserable ceremonies and delays which +attend what is called, in this country, the march of justice. He +had made his appeal to the Court of Cassation, which had taken time +to consider the verdict of the Provincial Court, and had confirmed +it. He had made his appeal for mercy; his poor sister coming up +all the way from Bourg (a sad journey, poor thing!) to have an +interview with the King, who had refused to see her. Last Monday +morning, at nine o'clock, an hour before Peytel's breakfast, the +Greffier of Assize Court, in company with the Cure of Bourg, waited +on him, and informed him that he had only three hours to live. At +twelve o'clock, Peytel's head was off his body: an executioner from +Lyons had come over the night before, to assist the professional +throat-cutter of Bourg. + +I am not going to entertain you with any sentimental lamentations +for this scoundrel's fate, or to declare my belief in his +innocence, as Monsieur de Balzac has done. As far as moral +conviction can go, the man's guilt is pretty clearly brought home +to him. But any man who has read the "Causes Celebres," knows that +men have been convicted and executed upon evidence ten times more +powerful than that which was brought against Peytel. His own +account of his horrible case may be true; there is nothing adduced +in the evidence which is strong enough to overthrow it. It is a +serious privilege, God knows, that society takes upon itself, at +any time, to deprive one of God's creatures of existence. But when +the slightest doubt remains, what a tremendous risk does it incur! +In England, thank heaven, the law is more wise and more merciful: +an English jury would never have taken a man's blood upon such +testimony: an English judge and Crown advocate would never have +acted as these Frenchmen have done; the latter inflaming the public +mind by exaggerated appeals to their passions: the former seeking, +in every way, to draw confessions from the prisoner, to perplex and +confound him, to do away, by fierce cross-questioning and bitter +remarks from the bench, with any effect that his testimony might +have on the jury. I don't mean to say that judges and lawyers have +been more violent and inquisitorial against the unhappy Peytel than +against any one else; it is the fashion of the country: a man is +guilty until he proves himself to be innocent; and to batter down +his defence, if he have any, there are the lawyers, with all their +horrible ingenuity, and their captivating passionate eloquence. It +is hard thus to set the skilful and tried champions of the law +against men unused to this kind of combat; nay, give a man all the +legal aid that he can purchase or procure, still, by this plan, you +take him at a cruel, unmanly disadvantage; he has to fight against +the law, clogged with the dreadful weight of his presupposed guilt. +Thank God that, in England, things are not managed so. + +However, I am not about to entertain you with ignorant disquisitions +about the law. Peytel's case may, nevertheless, interest you; for +the tale is a very stirring and mysterious one; and you may see how +easy a thing it is for a man's life to be talked away in France, if +ever he should happen to fall under the suspicion of a crime. The +French "Acte d'accusation" begins in the following manner:-- + +"Of all the events which, in these latter times, have afflicted the +department of the Ain, there is none which has caused a more +profound and lively sensation than the tragical death of the lady, +Felicite Alcazar, wife of Sebastian Benedict Peytel, notary, at +Belley. At the end of October, 1838, Madame Peytel quitted that +town, with her husband, and their servant Louis Rey, in order to +pass a few days at Macon: at midnight, the inhabitants of Belley +were suddenly awakened by the arrival of Monsieur Peytel, by his +cries, and by the signs which he exhibited of the most lively +agitation: he implored the succors of all the physicians in the +town; knocked violently at their doors; rung at the bells of their +houses with a sort of frenzy, and announced that his wife, +stretched out, and dying, in his carriage, had just been shot, on +the Lyons road, by his domestic, whose life Peytel himself had +taken. + +"At this recital a number of persons assembled, and what a +spectacle was presented to their eyes. + +"A young woman lay at the bottom of a carriage, deprived of life; +her whole body was wet, and seemed as if it had just been plunged +into the water. She appeared to be severely wounded in the face; +and her garments, which were raised up, in spite of the cold and +rainy weather, left the upper part of her knees almost entirely +exposed. At the sight of this half-naked and inanimate body, all +the spectators were affected. People said that the first duty to +pay to a dying woman was, to preserve her from the cold, to cover +her. A physician examined the body; he declared that all remedies +were useless; that Madame Peytel was dead and cold. + +"The entreaties of Peytel were redoubled; he demanded fresh +succors, and, giving no heed to the fatal assurance which had just +been given him, required that all the physicians in the place +should be sent for. A scene so strange and so melancholy; the +incoherent account given by Peytel of the murder of his wife; his +extraordinary movements; and the avowal which he continued to make, +that he had despatched the murderer, Rey, with strokes of his +hammer, excited the attention of Lieutenant Wolf, commandant of +gendarmes: that officer gave orders for the immediate arrest of +Peytel; but the latter threw himself into the arms of a friend, who +interceded for him, and begged the police not immediately to seize +upon his person. + +"The corpse of Madame Peytel was transported to her apartment; the +bleeding body of the domestic was likewise brought from the road, +where it lay; and Peytel, asked to explain the circumstance, did +so." . . . . + +Now, as there is little reason to tell the reader, when an English +counsel has to prosecute a prisoner on the part of the Crown for a +capital offence, he produces the articles of his accusation in the +most moderate terms, and especially warns the jury to give the +accused person the benefit of every possible doubt that the +evidence may give, or may leave. See how these things are managed +in France, and how differently the French counsel for the Crown +sets about his work. + +He first prepares his act of accusation, the opening of which we +have just read; it is published six days before the trial, so that +an unimpassioned, unprejudiced jury has ample time to study it, and +to form its opinions accordingly, and to go into court with a +happy, just prepossession against the prisoner. + +Read the first part of the Peytel act of accusation; it is as +turgid and declamatory as a bad romance; and as inflated as a +newspaper document, by an unlimited penny-a-liner:--"The department +of the Ain is in a dreadful state of excitement; the inhabitants of +Belley come trooping from their beds,--and what a sight do they +behold;--a young woman at the bottom of a carriage, toute +ruisselante, just out of a river; her garments, in spite of the +cold and rain, raised, so as to leave the upper part of her knees +entirely exposed, at which all the beholders were affected, and +cried, that the FIRST DUTY was to cover her from the cold." This +settles the case at once; the first duty of a man is to cover the +legs of the sufferer; the second to call for help. The eloquent +"Substitut du Procureur du Roi" has prejudged the case, in the +course of a few sentences. He is putting his readers, among whom +his future jury is to be found, into a proper state of mind; he +works on them with pathetic description, just as a romance-writer +would: the rain pours in torrents; it is a dreary evening in +November; the young creature's situation is neatly described; the +distrust which entered into the breast of the keen old officer of +gendarmes strongly painted, the suspicions which might, or might +not, have been entertained by the inhabitants, eloquently argued. +How did the advocate know that the people had such? did all the +bystanders say aloud, "I suspect that this is a case of murder by +Monsieur Peytel, and that his story about the domestic is all +deception?" or did they go off to the mayor, and register their +suspicion? or was the advocate there to hear them? Not he; but he +paints you the whole scene, as though it had existed, and gives +full accounts of suspicions, as if they had been facts, positive, +patent, staring, that everybody could see and swear to. + +Having thus primed his audience, and prepared them for the +testimony of the accused party, "Now," says he, with a fine show of +justice, "let us hear Monsieur Peytel;" and that worthy's narrative +is given as follows:-- + +"He said that he had left Macon on the 31st October, at eleven +o'clock in the morning, in order to return to Belley, with his wife +and servant. The latter drove, or led, an open car; he himself was +driving his wife in a four-wheeled carriage, drawn by one horse: +they reached Bourg at five o'clock in the evening; left it at +seven, to sleep at Pont d'Ain, where they did not arrive before +midnight. During the journey, Peytel thought he remarked that Rey +had slackened his horse's pace. When they alighted at the inn, +Peytel bade him deposit in his chamber 7,500 francs, which he +carried with him; but the domestic refused to do so, saying that +the inn gates were secure, and there was no danger. Peytel was, +therefore, obliged to carry his money up stairs himself. The next +day, the 1st November, they set out on their journey again, at nine +o'clock in the morning; Louis did not come, according to custom, to +take his master's orders. They arrived at Tenay about three, +stopped there a couple of hours to dine, and it was eight o'clock +when they reached the bourg of Rossillon, where they waited half an +hour to bait the horses. + +"As they left Rossillon, the weather became bad, and the rain began +to fall: Peytel told his domestic to get a covering for the +articles in the open chariot; but Rey refused to do so, adding, in +an ironical tone, that the weather was fine. For some days past, +Peytel had remarked that his servant was gloomy, and scarcely spoke +at all. + +"After they had gone about 500 paces beyond the bridge of Andert, +that crosses the river Furans, and ascended to the least steep part +of the hill of Darde, Peytel cried out to his servant, who was +seated in the car, to come down from it, and finish the ascent on +foot. + +"At this moment a violent wind was blowing from the south, and the +rain was falling heavily: Peytel was seated back in the right +corner of the carriage, and his wife, who was close to him, was +asleep, with her head on his left shoulder. All of a sudden he +heard the report of a fire-arm (he had seen the light of it at some +paces' distance), and Madame Peytel cried out, 'My poor husband, +take your pistols;' the horse was frightened, and began to trot. +Peytel immediately drew the pistol, and fired, from the interior of +the carriage, upon an individual whom he saw running by the side of +the road. + +"Not knowing, as yet, that his wife had been hit, he jumped out on +one side of the carriage, while Madame Peytel descended from the +other; and he fired a second pistol at his domestic, Louis Rey, +whom he had just recognized. Redoubling his pace, he came up with +Rey, and struck him, from behind, a blow with the hammer. Rey +turned at this, and raised up his arm to strike his master with the +pistol which he had just discharged at him; but Peytel, more quick +than he, gave the domestic a blow with the hammer, which felled him +to the ground (he fell his face forwards), and then Peytel, +bestriding the body, despatched him, although the brigand asked for +mercy. + +"He now began to think of his wife and ran back, calling out her +name repeatedly, and seeking for her, in vain, on both sides of the +road. Arrived at the bridge of Andert, he recognized his wife, +stretched in a field, covered with water, which bordered the +Furans. This horrible discovery had so much the more astonished +him, because he had no idea, until now, that his wife had been +wounded: he endeavored to draw her from the water; and it was only +after considerable exertions that he was enabled to do so, and to +place her, with her face towards the ground, on the side of the +road. Supposing that, here, she would be sheltered from any +farther danger, and believing, as yet, that she was only wounded, +he determined to ask for help at a lone house, situated on the road +towards Rossillon; and at this instant he perceived, without at all +being able to explain how, that his horse had followed him back to +the spot, having turned back of its own accord, from the road to +Belley. + +"The house at which he knocked was inhabited by two men, of the +name of Thannet, father and son, who opened the door to him, and +whom he entreated to come to his aid, saying that his wife had just +been assassinated by his servant. The elder Thannet approached to, +and examined the body, and told Peytel that it was quite dead; he +and his son took up the corpse, and placed it in the bottom of the +carriage, which they all mounted themselves, and pursued their +route to Belley. In order to do so, they had to pass by Rey's +body, on the road, which Peytel wished to crush under the wheels of +his carriage. It was to rob him of 7,500 francs, said Peytel, that +the attack had been made." + +Our friend, the Procureur's Substitut, has dropped, here, the +eloquent and pathetic style altogether, and only gives the unlucky +prisoner's narrative in the baldest and most unimaginative style. +How is a jury to listen to such a fellow? they ought to condemn +him, if but for making such an uninteresting statement. Why not +have helped poor Peytel with some of those rhetorical graces which +have been so plentifully bestowed in the opening part of the act of +accusation? He might have said:-- + +"Monsieur Peytel is an eminent notary at Belley; he is a man +distinguished for his literary and scientific acquirements; he has +lived long in the best society of the capital; he had been but a +few months married to that young and unfortunate lady, whose loss +has plunged her bereaved husband into despair--almost into madness. +Some early differences had marked, it is true, the commencement of +their union; but these, which, as can be proved by evidence, were +almost all the unhappy lady's fault,--had happily ceased, to give +place to sentiments far more delightful and tender. Gentlemen, +Madame Peytel bore in her bosom a sweet pledge of future concord +between herself and her husband: in three brief months she was to +become a mother. + +"In the exercise of his honorable profession,--in which, to +succeed, a man must not only have high talents, but undoubted +probity,--and, gentlemen, Monsieur Peytel DID succeed--DID inspire +respect and confidence, as you, his neighbors, well know;--in the +exercise, I say, of his high calling, Monsieur Peytel, towards the +end of October last, had occasion to make a journey in the +neighborhood, and visit some of his many clients. + +"He travelled in his own carriage, his young wife beside him. Does +this look like want of affection, gentlemen? or is it not a mark of +love--of love and paternal care on his part towards the being with +whom his lot in life was linked,--the mother of his coming child,-- +the young girl, who had everything to gain from the union with a +man of his attainments of intellect, his kind temper, his great +experience, and his high position? In this manner they travelled, +side by side, lovingly together. Monsieur Peytel was not a lawyer +merely, but a man of letters and varied learning; of the noble and +sublime science of geology he was, especially, an ardent devotee." + +(Suppose, here, a short panegyric upon geology. Allude to the +creation of this mighty world, and then, naturally, to the Creator. +Fancy the conversations which Peytel, a religious man,* might have +with his young wife upon the subject.) + + +* He always went to mass; it is in the evidence. + + +"Monsieur Peytel had lately taken into his service a man named +Louis Rey. Rey was a foundling, and had passed many years in a +regiment--a school, gentlemen, where much besides bravery, alas! is +taught; nay, where the spirit which familiarizes one with notions +of battle and death, I fear, may familiarize one with ideas, too, +of murder. Rey, a dashing reckless fellow, from the army, had +lately entered Peytel's service, was treated by him with the most +singular kindness; accompanied him (having charge of another +vehicle) upon the journey before alluded to; and KNEW THAT HIS +MASTER CARRIED WITH HIM A CONSIDERABLE SUM OF MONEY; for a man like +Rey an enormous sum, 7,500 francs. At midnight on the 1st of +November, as Madame Peytel and her husband were returning home, an +attack was made upon their carriage. Remember, gentlemen, the hour +at which the attack was made; remember the sum of money that was in +the carriage; and remember that the Savoy frontier IS WITHIN A +LEAGUE OF THE SPOT where the desperate deed was done." + +Now, my dear Briefless, ought not Monsieur Procureur, in common +justice to Peytel, after he had so eloquently proclaimed, not the +facts, but the suspicions, which weighed against that worthy, to +have given a similar florid account of the prisoner's case? +Instead of this, you will remark, that it is the advocate's +endeavor to make Peytel's statements as uninteresting in style as +possible; and then he demolishes them in the following way:-- + +"Scarcely was Peytel's statement known, when the common sense of +the public rose against it. Peytel had commenced his story upon +the bridge of Andert, over the cold body of his wife. On the 2nd +November he had developed it in detail, in the presence of the +physicians, in the presence of the assembled neighbors--of the +persons who, on the day previous only, were his friends. Finally, +he had completed it in his interrogatories, his conversations, his +writings, and letters to the magistrates and everywhere these +words, repeated so often, were only received with a painful +incredulity. The fact was that, besides the singular character +which Peytel's appearance, attitude, and talk had worn ever since +the event, there was in his narrative an inexplicable enigma; its +contradictions and impossibilities were such, that calm persons +were revolted at it, and that even friendship itself refused to +believe it." + +Thus Mr. Attorney speaks, not for himself alone, but for the whole +French public; whose opinions, of course, he knows. Peytel's +statement is discredited EVERYWHERE; the statement which he had +made over the cold body of his wife--the monster! It is not enough +simply to prove that the man committed the murder, but to make the +jury violently angry against him, and cause them to shudder in the +jury-box, as he exposes the horrid details of the crime. + +"Justice," goes on Mr. Substitute (who answers for the feelings of +everybody), "DISTURBED BY THE PRE-OCCUPATIONS OF PUBLIC OPINION, +commenced, without delay, the most active researches. The bodies +of the victims were submitted to the investigations of men of art; +the wounds and projectiles were examined; the place where the event +took place explored with care. The morality of the author of this +frightful scene became the object of rigorous examination; the +exigeances of the prisoner, the forms affected by him, his +calculating silence, and his answers, coldly insulting, were feeble +obstacles; and justice at length arrived, by its prudence, and by +the discoveries it made, to the most cruel point of certainty." + +You see that a man's demeanor is here made a crime against him; and +that Mr. Substitute wishes to consider him guilty, because he has +actually the audacity to hold his tongue. Now follows a touching +description of the domestic, Louis Rey:-- + + +"Louis Rey, a child of the Hospital at Lyons, was confided, at a +very early age, to some honest country people, with whom he stayed +until he entered the army. At their house, and during this long +period of time, his conduct, his intelligence, and the sweetness of +his manners were such, that the family of his guardians became to +him as an adopted family; and his departure caused them the most +sincere affliction. When Louis quitted the army, he returned to +his benefactors, and was received as a son. They found him just as +they had ever known him" (I acknowledge that this pathos beats my +humble defence of Peytel entirely), "except that he had learned to +read and write; and the certificates of his commanders proved him +to be a good and gallant soldier. + +"The necessity of creating some resources for himself, obliged him +to quit his friends, and to enter the service of Monsieur de +Montrichard, a lieutenant of gendarmerie, from whom he received +fresh testimonials of regard. Louis, it is true, might have a +fondness for wine and a passion for women; but he had been a +soldier, and these faults were, according to the witnesses, amply +compensated for by his activity, his intelligence, and the +agreeable manner in which he performed his service. In the month +of July, 1839, Rey quitted, voluntarily, the service of M. de +Montrichard; and Peytel, about this period, meeting him at Lyons, +did not hesitate to attach him to his service. Whatever may be the +prisoner's present language, it is certain that up to the day of +Louis's death, he served Peytel with diligence and fidelity. + +"More than once his master and mistress spoke well of him. +EVERYBODY who has worked, or been at the house of Madame Peytel, +has spoken in praise of his character; and, indeed, it may be said, +that these testimonials were general. + +"On the very night of the 1st of November, and immediately after +the catastrophe, we remark how Peytel begins to make insinuations +against his servant; and how artfully, in order to render them more +sure, he disseminates them through the different parts of his +narrative. But, in the course of the proceeding, these charges +have met with a most complete denial. Thus we find the disobedient +servant who, at Pont d'Ain, refused to carry the money-chest to his +master's room, under the pretext that the gates of the inn were +closed securely, occupied with tending the horses after their long +journey: meanwhile Peytel was standing by, and neither master nor +servant exchanged a word, and the witnesses who beheld them both +have borne testimony to the zeal and care of the domestic. + +"In like manner, we find that the servant, who was so remiss in the +morning as to neglect to go to his master for orders, was ready for +departure before seven o'clock, and had eagerly informed himself +whether Monsieur and Madame Peytel were awake; learning from the +maid of the inn, that they had ordered nothing for their breakfast. +This man, who refused to carry with him a covering for the car, +was, on the contrary, ready to take off his own cloak, and with it +shelter articles of small value; this man, who had been for many +days so silent and gloomy, gave, on the contrary, many proofs of +his gayety--almost of his indiscretion, speaking, at all the inns, +in terms of praise of his master and mistress. The waiter at the +inn at Dauphin, says he was a tall young fellow, mild and good- +natured; 'we talked for some time about horses, and such things; he +seemed to be perfectly natural, and not pre-occupied at all.' At +Pont d'Ain, he talked of his being a foundling; of the place where +he had been brought up, and where he had served; and finally, at +Rossillon, an hour before his death, he conversed familiarly with +the master of the port, and spoke on indifferent subjects. + +"All Peytel's insinuations against his servant had no other end +than to show, in every point of Rey's conduct, the behavior of a +man who was premeditating attack. Of what, in fact, does he accuse +him? Of wishing to rob him of 7,500 francs, and of having had +recourse to assassination, in order to effect the robbery. But, +for a premeditated crime, consider what singular improvidence the +person showed who had determined on committing it; what folly and +what weakness there is in the execution of it. + +"How many insurmountable obstacles are there in the way of +committing and profiting by crime! On leaving Belley, Louis Rey, +according to Peytel's statement, knowing that his master would +return with money, provided himself with a holster pistol, which +Madame Peytel had once before perceived among his effects. In +Peytel's cabinet there were some balls; four of these were found in +Rey's trunk, on the 6th of November. And, in order to commit the +crime, this domestic had brought away with him a pistol, and no +ammunition; for Peytel has informed us that Rey, an hour before his +departure from Macon, purchased six balls at a gunsmith's. To gain +his point, the assassin must immolate his victims; for this, he has +only one pistol, knowing, perfectly well, that Peytel, in all his +travels, had two on his person; knowing that, at a late hour of the +night, his shot might fail of effect; and that, in this case, he +would be left to the mercy of his opponent. + +"The execution of the crime is, according to Peytel's account, +still more singular. Louis does not get off the carriage, until +Peytel tells him to descend. He does not think of taking his +master's life until he is sure that the latter has his eyes open. +It is dark, and the pair are covered in one cloak; and Rey only +fires at them at six paces' distance: he fires at hazard, without +disquieting himself as to the choice of his victim; and the +soldier, who was bold enough to undertake this double murder, has +not force nor courage to consummate it. He flies, carrying in his +hand a useless whip, with a heavy mantle on his shoulders, in spite +of the detonation of two pistols at his ears, and the rapid steps +of an angry master in pursuit, which ought to have set him upon +some better means of escape. And we find this man, full of youth +and vigor, lying with his face to the ground, in the midst of a +public road, falling without a struggle, or resistance, under the +blows of a hammer! + +"And suppose the murderer had succeeded in his criminal projects, +what fruit could he have drawn from them?--Leaving, on the road, +the two bleeding bodies; obliged to lead two carriages at a time, +for fear of discovery; not able to return himself, after all the +pains he had taken to speak, at every place at which they had +stopped, of the money which his master was carrying with him; too +prudent to appear alone at Belley; arrested at the frontier, by the +excise officers, who would present an impassable barrier to him +till morning, what could he do, or hope to do? The examination of +the car has shown that Rey, at the moment of the crime, had neither +linen, nor clothes, nor effects of any kind. There was found in +his pockets, when the body was examined, no passport, nor +certificate; one of his pockets contained a ball, of large calibre, +which he had shown, in play, to a girl, at the inn at Macon, a +little horn-handled knife, a snuff-box, a little packet of +gunpowder, and a purse, containing only a halfpenny and some +string. Here is all the baggage, with which, after the execution +of his homicidal plan, Louis Rey intended to take refuge in a +foreign country.* Beside these absurd contradictions, there is +another remarkable fact, which must not be passed over; it is +this:--the pistol found by Rey is of antique form, and the original +owner of it has been found. He is a curiosity-merchant at Lyons; +and, though he cannot affirm that Peytel was the person who bought +this pistol of him, he perfectly recognizes Peytel as having been a +frequent customer at his shop! + + +* This sentence is taken from another part of the "Acte +d'accusation." + + +"No, we may fearlessly affirm that Louis Rey was not guilty of the +crime which Peytel lays to his charge. If, to those who knew him, +his mild and open disposition, his military career, modest and +without a stain, the touching regrets of his employers, are +sufficient proofs of his innocence,--the calm and candid observer, +who considers how the crime was conceived, was executed, and what +consequences would have resulted from it, will likewise acquit him, +and free him of the odious imputation which Peytel endeavors to +cast upon his memory. + +"But justice has removed the veil, with which an impious hand +endeavored to cover itself. Already, on the night of the 1st of +November, suspicion was awakened by the extraordinary agitation of +Peytel; by those excessive attentions towards his wife, which came +so late; by that excessive and noisy grief, and by those calculated +bursts of sorrow, which are such as Nature does not exhibit. The +criminal, whom the public conscience had fixed upon; the man whose +frightful combinations have been laid bare, and whose falsehoods, +step by step, have been exposed, during the proceedings previous to +the trial; the murderer, at whose hands a heart-stricken family, +and society at large, demands an account of the blood of a wife;-- +that murderer is Peytel." + +When, my dear Briefless, you are a judge (as I make no doubt you +will be, when you have left off the club all night, cigar-smoking +of mornings, and reading novels in bed), will you ever find it in +your heart to order a fellow-sinner's head off upon such evidence +as this? Because a romantic Substitut du Procureur de Roi chooses +to compose and recite a little drama, and draw tears from juries, +let us hope that severe Rhadamanthine judges are not to be melted +by such trumpery. One wants but the description of the characters +to render the piece complete, as thus:-- + + + Personages Costumes. + +SEBASTIAN PEYTAL Meurtrier Habillement complet de notaire + perfide: figure pale, barbe + noire, cheveux noirs. + +LOUIS REY Soldat retire, bon, Costume ordinaire; il porte sur + brave, franc, jovial ses epaules une couverture de + aimant le vin, les cheval. + femmes, la gaiete, + ses maitres surtout; + vrai Francais, enfin + +WOLF Lieutenant de gendarmerie. + +FELICITE D'ALCAZAR Femme et victime de Peytel. + +Medecins, Villageois, Filles d'Auberge, Garcons d'Ecurie, &c. &c. + +La scene se passe sur le pont d'Andert, entre Macon et Belley. Il +est minuit. La pluie tombe: les tonnerres grondent. Le ciel est +convert de nuages, et sillonne d'eclairs. + + +All these personages are brought into play in the Procureur's +drama; the villagers come in with their chorus; the old lieutenant +of gendarmes with his suspicions; Rey's frankness and gayety, the +romantic circumstances of his birth, his gallantry and fidelity, +are all introduced, in order to form a contrast with Peytel, and to +call down the jury's indignation against the latter. But are these +proofs? or anything like proofs? And the suspicions, that are to +serve instead of proofs, what are they? + +"My servant, Louis Rey, was very sombre and reserved," says Peytel; +"he refused to call me in the morning, to carry my money-chest to +my room, to cover the open car when it rained." The Prosecutor +disproves this by stating that Rey talked with the inn maids and +servants, asked if his master was up, and stood in the inn-yard, +grooming the horses, with his master by his side, neither speaking +to the other. Might he not have talked to the maids, and yet been +sombre when speaking to his master? Might he not have neglected to +call his master, and yet have asked whether he was awake? Might he +not have said that the inn-gates were safe, out of hearing of the +ostler witness? Mr. Substitute's answers to Peytel's statements +are no answer at all. Every word Peytel said might be true, and +yet Louis Rey might not have committed the murder; or every word +might have been false, and yet Louis Rey might have committed the +murder. + +"Then," says Mr. Substitute, "how many obstacles are there to the +commission of the crime? And these are-- + +"1. Rey provided himself with ONE holster pistol, to kill two +people, knowing well that one of them had always a brace of pistols +about him. + +"2. He does not think of firing until his master's eyes are open: +fires at six paces, not caring at whom he fires, and then runs +away. + +"3. He could not have intended to kill his master, because he had +no passport in his pocket, and no clothes; and because he must have +been detained at the frontier until morning; and because he would +have had to drive two carriages, in order to avoid suspicion. + +"4. And, a most singular circumstance, the very pistol which was +found by his side had been bought at the shop of a man at Lyons, +who perfectly recognized Peytel as one of his customers, though he +could not say he had sold that particular weapon to Peytel." + +Does it follow, from this, that Louis Rey is not the murderer, much +more, that Peytel is? Look at argument No. 1. Rey had no need to +kill two people: he wanted the money, and not the blood. Suppose +he had killed Peytel, would he not have mastered Madame Peytel +easily?--a weak woman, in an excessively delicate situation, +incapable of much energy, at the best of times. + +2. "He does not fire till he knows his master's eyes are open." +Why, on a stormy night, does a man driving a carriage go to sleep? +Was Rey to wait until his master snored? "He fires at six paces, +not caring whom he hits;"--and might not this happen too? The +night is not so dark but that he can see his master, in HIS USUAL +PLACE, driving. He fires and hits--whom? Madame Peytel, who had +left her place, AND WAS WRAPPED UP WITH PEYTEL IN HIS CLOAK. She +screams out, "Husband, take your pistols." Rey knows that his +master has a brace, thinks that he has hit the wrong person, and, +as Peytel fires on him, runs away. Peytel follows, hammer in hand; +as he comes up with the fugitive, he deals him a blow on the back +of the head, and Rey falls--his face to the ground. Is there +anything unnatural in this story?--anything so monstrously unnatural, +that is, that it might not be true? + +3. These objections are absurd. Why need a man have change of +linen? If he had taken none for the journey, why should he want +any for the escape? Why need he drive two carriages?--He might +have driven both into the river, and Mrs. Peytel in one. Why is he +to go to the douane, and thrust himself into the very jaws of +danger? Are there not a thousand ways for a man to pass a +frontier? Do smugglers, when they have to pass from one country to +another, choose exactly those spots where a police is placed? + +And, finally, the gunsmith of Lyons, who knows Peytel quite well, +cannot say that he sold the pistol to him; that is, he did NOT sell +the pistol to him; for you have only one man's word, in this case +(Peytel's), to the contrary; and the testimony, as far as it goes, +is in his favor. I say, my lud, and gentlemen of the jury, that +these objections of my learned friend, who is engaged for the +Crown, are absurd, frivolous, monstrous; that to SUSPECT away the +life of a man upon such suppositions as these, is wicked, illegal, +and inhuman; and, what is more, that Louis Rey, if he wanted to +commit the crime--if he wanted to possess himself of a large sum of +money, chose the best time and spot for so doing; and, no doubt, +would have succeeded, if Fate had not, in a wonderful manner, +caused Madame Peytel TO TAKE HER HUSBAND'S PLACE, and receive the +ball intended for him in her own head. + +But whether these suspicions are absurd or not, hit or miss, it is +the advocate's duty, as it appears, to urge them. He wants to make +as unfavorable an impression as possible with regard to Peytel's +character; he, therefore, must, for contrast's sake, give all sorts +of praise to his victim, and awaken every sympathy in the poor +fellow's favor. Having done this, as far as lies in his power, +having exaggerated every circumstance that can be unfavorable to +Peytel, and given his own tale in the baldest manner possible-- +having declared that Peytel is the murderer of his wife and +servant, the Crown now proceeds to back this assertion, by showing +what interested motives he had, and by relating, after its own +fashion, the circumstances of his marriage. + +They may be told briefly here. Peytel was of a good family, of +Macon, and entitled, at his mother's death, to a considerable +property. He had been educated as a notary, and had lately +purchased a business, in that line, in Belley, for which he had +paid a large sum of money; part of the sum, 15,000 francs, for +which he had given bills, was still due. + +Near Belley, Peytel first met Felicite Alcazar, who was residing +with her brother-in-law, Monsieur de Montrichard; and, knowing that +the young lady's fortune was considerable, he made an offer of +marriage to the brother-in-law, who thought the match advantageous, +and communicated on the subject with Felicite's mother, Madame +Alcazar, at Paris. After a time Peytel went to Paris, to press his +suit, and was accepted. There seems to have been no affectation of +love on his side; and some little repugnance on the part of the +lady, who yielded, however, to the wishes of her parents, and was +married. The parties began to quarrel on the very day of the +marriage, and continued their disputes almost to the close of the +unhappy connection. Felicite was half blind, passionate, sarcastic, +clumsy in her person and manners, and ill educated; Peytel, a man of +considerable intellect and pretensions, who had lived for some time +at Paris, where he had mingled with good literary society. The lady +was, in fact, as disagreeable a person as could well be, and the +evidence describes some scenes which took place between her and her +husband, showing how deeply she must have mortified and enraged him. + +A charge very clearly made out against Peytel, is that of dishonesty; +he procured from the notary of whom he bought his place an +acquittance in full, whereas there were 15,000 francs owing, as we +have seen. He also, in the contract of marriage, which was to have +resembled, in all respects, that between Monsieur Broussais and +another Demoiselle Alcazar, caused an alteration to be made in his +favor, which gave him command over his wife's funded property, +without furnishing the guarantees by which the other son-in-law was +bound. And, almost immediately after his marriage, Peytel sold out +of the funds a sum of 50,000 francs, that belonged to his wife, and +used it for his own purposes. + +About two months after his marriage, PEYTEL PRESSED HIS WIFE TO +MAKE HER WILL. He had made his, he said, leaving everything to +her, in case of his death: after some parley, the poor thing +consented.* This is a cruel suspicion against him; and Mr. +Substitute has no need to enlarge upon it. As for the previous +fact, the dishonest statement about the 15,000 francs, there is +nothing murderous in that--nothing which a man very eager to make +a good marriage might not do. The same may be said of the +suppression, in Peytel's marriage contract, of the clause to be +found in Broussais's, placing restrictions upon the use of the +wife's money. Mademoiselle d'Alcazar's friends read the contract +before they signed it, and might have refused it, had they so +pleased. + + +* "Peytel," says the act of accusation, "did not fail to see the +danger which would menace him, if this will (which had escaped the +magistrates in their search of Peytel's papers) was discovered. +He, therefore, instructed his agent to take possession of it, which +he did, and the fact was not mentioned for several months +afterwards. Peytel and his agent were called upon to explain the +circumstance, but refused, and their silence for a long time +interrupted the 'instruction'" (getting up of the evidence). "All +that could be obtained from them was an avowal, that such a will +existed, constituting Peytel his wife's sole legatee; and a +promise, on their parts, to produce it before the court gave its +sentence." But why keep the will secret? The anxiety about it was +surely absurd and unnecessary: the whole of Madame Peytel's family +knew that such a will was made. She had consulted her sister +concerning it, who said--"If there is no other way of satisfying +him, make the will;" and the mother, when she heard of it, cried +out--"Does he intend to poison her?" + + +After some disputes, which took place between Peytel and his wife +(there were continual quarrels, and continual letters passing +between them from room to room), the latter was induced to write +him a couple of exaggerated letters, swearing "by the ashes of her +father" that she would be an obedient wife to him, and entreating +him to counsel and direct her. These letters were seen by members +of the lady's family, who, in the quarrels between the couple, +always took the husband's part. They were found in Peytel's +cabinet, after he had been arrested for the murder, and after he +had had full access to all his papers, of which he destroyed or +left as many as he pleased. The accusation makes it a matter of +suspicion against Peytel, that he should have left these letters of +his wife's in a conspicuous situation. + +"All these circumstances," says the accusation, "throw a frightful +light upon Peytel's plans. The letters and will of Madame Peytel +are in the hands of her husband. Three months pass away, and this +poor woman is brought to her home, in the middle of the night, with +two balls in her head, stretched at the bottom of her carriage, by +the side of a peasant." + +"What other than Sebastian Peytel could have committed this +murder?--whom could it profit?--who but himself had an odious chain +to break, and an inheritance to receive? Why speak of the +servant's projected robbery? The pistols found by the side of +Louis's body, the balls bought by him at Macon, and those +discovered at Belley among his effects, were only the result of a +perfidious combination. The pistol, indeed, which was found on the +hill of Darde, on the night of the 1st of November, could only have +belonged to Peytel, and must have been thrown by him, near the body +of his domestic, with the paper which had before enveloped it. +Who had seen this pistol in the hands of Louis? Among all the +gendarmes, work-women, domestics, employed by Peytel and his +brother-in-law, is there one single witness who had seen this +weapon in Louis's possession? It is true that Madame Peytel did, +on one occasion, speak to M. de Montrichard of a pistol; which had +nothing to do, however, with that found near Louis Rey." + +Is this justice, or good reason? Just reverse the argument, and +apply it to Rey. "Who but Rey could have committed this murder?-- +who but Rey had a large sum of money to seize upon?--a pistol is +found by his side, balls and powder in his pocket, other balls in +his trunks at home. The pistol found near his body could not, +indeed, have belonged to Peytel: did any man ever see it in his +possession? The very gunsmith who sold it, and who knew Peytel, +would he not have known that he had sold him this pistol? At his +own house, Peytel has a collection of weapons of all kinds; +everybody has seen them--a man who makes such collections is +anxious to display them. Did any one ever see this weapon?--Not +one. And Madame Peytel did, in her lifetime, remark a pistol in +the valet's possession. She was short-sighted, and could not +particularize what kind of pistol it was; but she spoke of it to +her husband and her brother-in-law." This is not satisfactory, if +you please; but, at least, it is as satisfactory as the other set +of suppositions. It is the very chain of argument which would have +been brought against Louis Rey by this very same compiler of the +act of accusation, had Rey survived, instead of Peytel, and had he, +as most undoubtedly would have been the case, been tried for the +murder. + +This argument was shortly put by Peytel's counsel:--"if Peytel had +been killed by Rey in the struggle, would you not have found Rey +guilty of the murder of his master and mistress?" It is such a +dreadful dilemma, that I wonder how judges and lawyers could have +dared to persecute Peytel in the manner which they did. + +After the act of accusation, which lays down all the suppositions +against Peytel as facts, which will not admit the truth of one of +the prisoner's allegations in his own defence, comes the trial. +The judge is quite as impartial as the preparer of the indictment, +as will be seen by the following specimens of his interrogatories:-- + +Judge. "The act of accusation finds in your statement +contradictions, improbabilities, impossibilities. Thus your +domestic, who had determined to assassinate you, in order to rob +you, and who MUST HAVE CALCULATED UPON THE CONSEQUENCE OF A +FAILURE, had neither passport nor money upon him. This is very +unlikely; because he could not have gone far with only a single +halfpenny, which was all he had." + +Prisoner. "My servant was known, and often passed the frontier +without a passport." + +Judge. "YOUR DOMESTIC HAD TO ASSASSINATE TWO PERSONS, and had no +weapon but a single pistol. He had no dagger; and the only thing +found on him was a knife." + +Prisoner. "In the car there were several turner's implements, +which he might have used." + +Judge. "But he had not those arms upon him, because you pursued +him immediately. He had, according to you, only this old pistol." + +Prisoner. "I have nothing to say." + +Judge. "Your domestic, instead of flying into woods, which skirt +the road, ran straight forward on the road itself: THIS, AGAIN, IS +VERY UNLIKELY." + +Prisoner. "This is a conjecture I could answer by another +conjecture; I can only reason on the facts." + +Judge. "How far did you pursue him?" + +Prisoner. "I don't know exactly." + +Judge. "You said 'two hundred paces.'" + +No answer from the prisoner. + +Judge. "Your domestic was young, active, robust, and tall. He was +ahead of you. You were in a carriage, from which you had to +descend: you had to take your pistols from a cushion, and THEN your +hammer;--how are we to believe that you could have caught him, if +he ran? It is IMPOSSIBLE." + +Prisoner. "I can't explain it: I think that Rey had some defect in +one leg. I, for my part, run tolerably fast." + +Judge. "At what distance from him did you fire your first shot?" + +Prisoner. "I can't tell." + +Judge. "Perhaps he was not running when you fired." + +Prisoner. "I saw him running." + +Judge. "In what position was your wife?" + +Prisoner. "She was leaning on my left arm, and the man was on the +right side of the carriage." + +Judge. "The shot must have been fired a bout portant, because it +burned the eyebrows and lashes entirely. The assassin must have +passed his pistol across your breast." + +Prisoner. "The shot was not fired so close; I am convinced of it: +professional gentlemen will prove it." + +Judge. "That is what you pretend, because you understand perfectly +the consequences of admitting the fact. Your wife was hit with two +balls--one striking downwards, to the right, by the nose, the other +going horizontally through the cheek, to the left." + +Prisoner. "The contrary will be shown by the witnesses called for +the purpose." + +Judge. "IT IS A VERY UNLUCKY COMBINATION FOR YOU that these balls, +which went, you say, from the same pistol, should have taken two +different directions." + +Prisoner. "I can't dispute about the various combinations of fire- +arms--professional persons will be heard." + +Judge. "According to your statement, your wife said to you, 'My +poor husband, take your pistols.'" + +Prisoner. "She did." + +Judge. "In a manner quite distinct." + +Prisoner. "Yes." + +Judge. "So distinct that you did not fancy she was hit?" + +Prisoner. "Yes; that is the fact." + +Judge. "HERE, AGAIN, IS AN IMPOSSIBILITY; and nothing is more +precise than the declaration of the medical men. They affirm that +your wife could not have spoken--their report is unanimous." + +Prisoner. "I can only oppose to it quite contrary opinions from +professional men, also: you must hear them." + +Judge. "What did your wife do next?" + + . . . . . . + +Judge. "You deny the statements of the witnesses:" (they related +to Peytel's demeanor and behavior, which the judge wishes to show +were very unusual;--and what if they were?) "Here, however, are +some mute witnesses, whose testimony, you will not perhaps refuse. +Near Louis Rey's body was found a horse-cloth, a pistol, and a +whip. . . . . Your domestic must have had this cloth upon him when +he went to assassinate you: it was wet and heavy. An assassin +disencumbers himself of anything that is likely to impede him, +especially when he is going to struggle with a man as young as +himself." + +Prisoner. "My servant had, I believe, this covering on his body; +it might be useful to him to keep the priming of his pistol dry." + +The president caused the cloth to be opened, and showed that there +was no hook, or tie, by which it could be held together; and that +Rey must have held it with one hand, and, in the other, his whip, +and the pistol with which he intended to commit the crime; which +was impossible. + +Prisoner. "These are only conjectures." + +And what conjectures, my God! upon which to take away the life of a +man. Jeffreys, or Fouquier Tinville, could scarcely have dared to +make such. Such prejudice, such bitter persecution, such priming +of the jury, such monstrous assumptions and unreason--fancy them +coming from an impartial judge! The man is worse than the public +accuser. + +"Rey," says the Judge, "could not have committed the murder, +BECAUSE HE HAD NO MONEY IN HIS POCKET, TO FLY, IN CASE OF FAILURE." +And what is the precise sum that his lordship thinks necessary for +a gentleman to have, before he makes such an attempt? Are the men +who murder for money, usually in possession of a certain +independence before they begin? How much money was Rey, a servant, +who loved wine and women, had been stopping at a score of inns on +the road, and had, probably, an annual income of 400 francs,--how +much money was Rey likely to have? + +"Your servant had to assassinate two persons." This I have +mentioned before. Why had he to assassinate two persons,* when one +was enough? If he had killed Peytel, could he not have seized and +gagged his wife immediately? + + +* M. Balzac's theory of the case is, that Rey had intrigued with +Madame Peytel; having known her previous to her marriage, when she +was staying in the house of her brother-in-law, Monsieur de +Montrichard, where Rey had been a servant. + + +"Your domestic ran straight forward, instead of taking to the +woods, by the side of the rood: this is very unlikely." How does +his worship know? Can any judge, however enlightened, tell the +exact road that a man will take, who has just missed a coup of +murder, and is pursued by a man who is firing pistols at him? And +has a judge a right to instruct a jury in this way, as to what they +shall, or shall not, believe? + +"You have to run after an active man, who has the start of you: to +jump out of a carriage; to take your pistols; and THEN, your +hammer. THIS IS IMPOSSIBLE." By heavens! does it not make a man's +blood boil, to read such blundering, blood-seeking sophistry? This +man, when it suits him, shows that Rey would be slow in his +motions; and when it suits him, declares that Rey ought to be +quick; declares ex cathedra, what pace Rey should go, and what +direction he should take; shows, in a breath, that he must have run +faster than Peytel; and then, that he could not run fast, because +the cloak clogged him; settles how he is to be dressed when he +commits a murder, and what money he is to have in his pocket; gives +these impossible suppositions to the jury, and tells them that the +previous statements are impossible; and, finally, informs them of +the precise manner in which Rey must have stood holding his horse- +cloth in one hand, his whip and pistol in the other, when he made +the supposed attempt at murder. Now, what is the size of a horse- +cloth? Is it as big as a pocket-handkerchief? Is there no +possibility that it might hang over one shoulder; that the whip +should be held under that very arm? Did you never see a carter so +carry it, his hands in his pockets all the while? Is it monstrous, +abhorrent to nature, that a man should fire a pistol from under a +cloak on a rainy day?--that he should, after firing the shot, be +frightened, and run; run straight before him, with the cloak on his +shoulders, and the weapon in his hand? Peytel's story is possible, +and very possible; it is almost probable. Allow that Rey had the +cloth on, and you allow that he must have been clogged in his +motions; that Peytel may have come up with him--felled him with a +blow of the hammer; the doctors say that he would have so fallen by +one blow--he would have fallen on his face, as he was found: the +paper might have been thrust into his breast, and tumbled out as he +fell. Circumstances far more impossible have occurred ere this; +and men have been hanged for them, who were as innocent of the +crime laid to their charge as the judge on the bench, who convicted +them. + +In like manner, Peytel may not have committed the crime charged to +him; and Mr. Judge, with his arguments as to possibilities and +impossibilities,--Mr. Public Prosecutor, with his romantic +narrative and inflammatory harangues to the jury,--may have used +all these powers to bring to death an innocent man. From the +animus with which the case had been conducted from beginning to +end, it was easy to see the result. Here it is, in the words of +the provincial paper:-- + + +BOURG, 28 October, 1839. + +"The condemned Peytel has just undergone his punishment, which took +place four days before the anniversary of his crime. The terrible +drama of the bridge of Andert, which cost the life of two persons, +has just terminated on the scaffold. Mid-day had just sounded on +the clock of the Palais: the same clock tolled midnight when, on +the 30th of August, his sentence was pronounced. + +"Since the rejection of his appeal in Cassation, on which his +principal hopes were founded, Peytel spoke little of his petition +to the King. The notion of transportation was that which he seemed +to cherish most. However, he made several inquiries from the +gaoler of the prison, when he saw him at meal-time, with regard to +the place of execution, the usual hour, and other details on the +subject. From that period, the words 'Champ de Foire' (the fair- +field, where the execution was to be held), were frequently used by +him in conversation. + +"Yesterday, the idea that the time had arrived seemed to be more +strongly than ever impressed upon him; especially after the +departure of the cure, who latterly has been with him every day. +The documents connected with the trial had arrived in the morning. +He was ignorant of this circumstance, but sought to discover from +his guardians what they tried to hide from him; and to find out +whether his petition was rejected, and when he was to die. + +"Yesterday, also, he had written to demand the presence of his +counsel, M. Margerand, in order that he might have some +conversation with him, and regulate his affairs, before he ----; he +did not write down the word, but left in its place a few points of +the pen. + +"In the evening, whilst he was at supper, he begged earnestly to be +allowed a little wax-candle, to finish what he was writing: +otherwise, he said, TIME MIGHT FAIL. This was a new, indirect +manner of repeating his ordinary question. As light, up to that +evening, had been refused him, it was thought best to deny him in +this, as in former instances; otherwise his suspicions might have +been confirmed. The keeper refused his demand. + +"This morning, Monday, at nine o'clock, the Greffier of the Assize +Court, in fulfilment of the painful duty which the law imposes upon +him, came to the prison, in company with the cure of Bourg, and +announced to the convict that his petition was rejected, and that +he had only three hours to live. He received this fatal news with +a great deal of calmness, and showed himself to be no more affected +than he had been on the trial. 'I am ready; but I wish they had +given me four-and-twenty hours' notice,'--were all the words he +used. + +"The Greffier now retired, leaving Peytel alone with the cure, who +did not thenceforth quit him. Peytel breakfasted at ten o'clock. + +"At eleven, a piquet of mounted gendarmerie and infantry took their +station upon the place before the prison, where a great concourse +of people had already assembled. An open car was at the door. +Before he went out Peytel asked the gaoler for a looking-glass; +and having examined his face for a moment, said, 'At least, the +inhabitants of Bourg will see that I have not grown thin.' + +"As twelve o'clock sounded, the prison gates opened, an aide +appeared, followed by Peytel, leaning on the arm of the cure. +Peytel's face was pale, he had a long black beard, a blue cap on +his head, and his great-coat flung over his shoulders, and buttoned +at the neck. + +"He looked about at the place and the crowd; he asked if the +carriage would go at a trot; and on being told that that would be +difficult, he said he would prefer walking, and asked what the road +was. He immediately set out, walking at a firm and rapid pace. He +was not bound at all. + +"An immense crowd of people encumbered the two streets through +which he had to pass to the place of execution. He cast his eyes +alternately upon them and upon the guillotine, which was before +him. + +"Arrived at the foot of the scaffold, Peytel embraced the cure, and +bade him adieu. He then embraced him again; perhaps, for his +mother and sister. He then mounted the steps rapidly, and gave +himself into the hands of the executioner, who removed his coat and +cap. He asked how he was to place himself, and on a sign being +made, he flung himself briskly on the plank, and stretched his +neck. In another moment he was no more. + +"The crowd, which had been quite silent, retired, profoundly moved +by the sight it had witnessed. As at all executions, there was a +very great number of women present. + +"Under the scaffold there had been, ever since the morning, a +coffin. The family had asked for his remains, and had them +immediately buried, privately: and thus the unfortunate man's head +escaped the modellers in wax, several of whom had arrived to take +an impression of it." + +Down goes the axe; the poor wretch's head rolls gasping into the +basket; the spectators go home, pondering; and Mr. Executioner and +his aides have, in half an hour, removed all traces of the august +sacrifice, and of the altar on which it had been performed. Say, +Mr. Briefless, do you think that any single person, meditating +murder, would be deterred therefrom by beholding this--nay, a +thousand more executions? It is not for moral improvement, as I +take it, nor for opportunity to make appropriate remarks upon the +punishment of crime, that people make a holiday of a killing-day, +and leave their homes and occupations, to flock and witness the +cutting off of a head. Do we crowd to see Mr. Macready in the new +tragedy, or Mademoiselle Ellssler in her last new ballet and flesh- +colored stockinnet pantaloons, out of a pure love of abstract +poetry and beauty; or from a strong notion that we shall be +excited, in different ways, by the actor and the dancer? And so, +as we go to have a meal of fictitious terror at the tragedy, of +something more questionable in the ballet, we go for a glut of +blood to the execution. The lust is in every man's nature, more or +less. Did you ever witness a wrestling or boxing match? The first +clatter of the kick on the shins, or the first drawing of blood, +makes the stranger shudder a little; but soon the blood is his +chief enjoyment, and he thirsts for it with a fierce delight. It +is a fine grim pleasure that we have in seeing a man killed; and I +make no doubt that the organs of destructiveness must begin to +throb and swell as we witness the delightful savage spectacle. + +Three or four years back, when Fieschi and Lacenaire were executed, +I made attempts to see the execution of both; but was disappointed +in both cases. In the first instance, the day for Fieschi's death +was, purposely, kept secret; and he was, if I remember rightly, +executed at some remote quarter of the town. But it would have +done a philanthropist good, to witness the scene which we saw on +the morning when his execution did NOT take place. + +It was carnival time, and the rumor had pretty generally been +carried abroad that he was to die on that morning. A friend, who +accompanied me, came many miles, through the mud and dark, in order +to be in at the death. We set out before light, floundering +through the muddy Champs Elysees; where, besides, were many other +persons floundering, and all bent upon the same errand. We passed +by the Concert of Musard, then held in the Rue St. Honore; and +round this, in the wet, a number of coaches were collected. The +ball was just up, and a crowd of people in hideous masquerade, +drunk, tired, dirty, dressed in horrible old frippery, and daubed +with filthy rouge, were trooping out of the place: tipsy women and +men, shrieking, jabbering, gesticulating, as French will do; +parties swaggering, staggering forwards, arm in arm, reeling to and +fro across the street, and yelling songs in chorus: hundreds of +these were bound for the show, and we thought ourselves lucky in +finding a vehicle to the execution place, at the Barriere d'Enfer. +As we crossed the river and entered the Enfer Street, crowds of +students, black workmen, and more drunken devils from more carnival +balls, were filling it; and on the grand place there were thousands +of these assembled, looking out for Fiaschi and his cortege. We +waited and waited; but alas! no fun for us that morning: no throat- +cutting; no august spectacle of satisfied justice; and the eager +spectators were obliged to return, disappointed of their expected +breakfast of blood. It would have been a fine scene, that +execution, could it but have taken place in the midst of the mad +mountebanks and tipsy strumpets who had flocked so far to witness +it, wishing to wind up the delights of their carnival by a +bonnebouche of a murder. + +The other attempt was equally unfortunate. We arrived too late on +the ground to be present at the execution of Lacenaire and his co- +mate in murder, Avril. But as we came to the ground (a gloomy +round space, within the barrier--three roads lead to it; and, +outside, you see the wine-shops and restaurateurs' of the barrier +looking gay and inviting,)--as we came to the ground, we only +found, in the midst of it, a little pool of ice, just partially +tinged with red. Two or three idle street-boys were dancing and +stamping about this pool; and when I asked one of them whether the +execution had taken place, he began dancing more madly than ever, +and shrieked out with a loud fantastical, theatrical voice, "Venez +tous Messieurs et Dames, voyez ici le sang du monstre Lacenaire, et +de son compagnon he traitre Avril," or words to that effect; and +straightway all the other gamins screamed out the words in chorus, +and took hands and danced round the little puddle. + +O august Justice, your meal was followed by a pretty appropriate +grace! Was any man, who saw the show, deterred, or frightened, or +moralized in any way? He had gratified his appetite for blood, and +this was all. There is something singularly pleasing, both in the +amusement of execution-seeing, and in the results. You are not +only delightfully excited at the time, but most pleasingly relaxed +afterwards; the mind, which has been wound up painfully until now, +becomes quite complacent and easy. There is something agreeable in +the misfortunes of others, as the philosopher has told us. Remark +what a good breakfast you eat after an execution; how pleasant it +is to cut jokes after it, and upon it. This merry, pleasant mood +is brought on by the blood tonic. + +But, for God's sake, if we are to enjoy this, let us do so in +moderation; and let us, at least, be sure of a man's guilt before +we murder him. To kill him, even with the full assurance that he +is guilty is hazardous enough. Who gave you the right to do so?-- +you, who cry out against suicides, as impious and contrary to +Christian law? What use is there in killing him? You deter no one +else from committing the crime by so doing: you give us, to be +sure, half an hour's pleasant entertainment; but it is a great +question whether we derive much moral profit from the sight. If +you want to keep a murderer from farther inroads upon society, are +there not plenty of hulks and prisons, God wot; treadmills, +galleys, and houses of correction? Above all, as in the case of +Sebastian Peytel and his family, there have been two deaths +already; was a third death absolutely necessary? and, taking the +fallibility of judges and lawyers into his heart, and remembering +the thousand instances of unmerited punishment that have been +suffered, upon similar and stronger evidence before, can any man +declare, positively and upon his oath, that Peytel was guilty, and +that this was not THE THIRD MURDER IN THE FAMILY? + + + + +FOUR IMITATIONS OF BERANGER + + +LE ROI D'YVETOT. + + +Il etait un roi d'Yvetot, + Peu connu dans l'histoire; +Se levant tard, se couchant tot, + Dormant fort bien sans gloire, +Et couronne par Jeanneton +D'un simple bonnet de coton, + Dit-on. + Oh! oh! oh! oh! ah! ah! ah! ah! + Quel bon petit roi c'etait la! + La, la. + +Il fesait ses quatre repas + Dans son palais de chaume, +Et sur un ane, pas a pas, + Parcourait son royaume. +Joyeux, simple et croyant le bien, +Pour toute garde il n'avait rien + Qu'un chien. + Oh! oh! oh! oh! ah! ah! ah! ah! &c. + La, la. + +Il n'avait de gout onereux + Qu'une soif un peu vive; +Mais, en rendant son peuple heureux, + Il faux bien qu'un roi vive. +Lui-meme a table, et sans suppot, +Sur chaque muid levait un pot + D'impot. + Oh! oh! oh! oh! ah! ah! ah! ah! &c. + La, la. + +Aux filles de bonnes maisons + Comme il avait su plaire, +Ses sujets avaient cent raisons + De le nommer leur pere: +D'ailleurs il ne levait de ban +Que pour tirer quatre fois l'an + Au blanc. + Oh! oh! oh! oh! ah! ah! ah! ah! &c. + La, la. + +Il n'agrandit point ses etats, + Fut un voisin commode, +Et, modele des potentats, + Prit le plaisir pour code. +Ce n'est que lorsqu'il expira, +Que le peuple qui l'enterra + Pleura. + Oh! oh! oh! oh! ah! ah! ah! ah! &c. + La, la. + +On conserve encor le portrait + De ce digne et bon prince; +C'est l'enseigne d'un cabaret + Fameux dans la province. +Les jours de fete, bien souvent, +La foule s'ecrie en buvant + Devant: + Oh! oh! oh! oh! ah! ah! ah! ah! + Quel bon petit roi c'etait la! + La, la. + + + +THE KING OF YVETOT. + + +There was a king of Yvetot, + Of whom renown hath little said, +Who let all thoughts of glory go, + And dawdled half his days a-bed; +And every night, as night came round, +By Jenny, with a nightcap crowned, + Slept very sound: + Sing ho, ho, ho! and he, he, he! + That's the kind of king for me. + +And every day it came to pass, + That four lusty meals made he; +And, step by step, upon an ass, + Rode abroad, his realms to see; +And wherever he did stir, +What think you was his escort, sir? + Why, an old cur. + Sing ho, ho, ho! &c. + +If e'er he went into excess, + 'Twas from a somewhat lively thirst; +But he who would his subjects bless, + Odd's fish!--must wet his whistle first; +And so from every cask they got, +Our king did to himself allot, + At least a pot. + Sing ho, ho! &c. + +To all the ladies of the land, + A courteous king, and kind, was he; +The reason why you'll understand, + They named him Pater Patriae. +Each year he called his fighting men, +And marched a league from home, and then + Marched back again. + Sing ho, ho! &c. + +Neither by force nor false pretence, + He sought to make his kingdom great, +And made (O princes, learn from hence),-- + "Live and let live," his rule of state. +'Twas only when he came to die, +That his people who stood by, + Were known to cry. + Sing ho, ho! &c. + +The portrait of this best of kings + Is extant still, upon a sign +That on a village tavern swings, + Famed in the country for good wine. +The people in their Sunday trim, +Filling their glasses to the brim, + Look up to him, + Singing ha, ha, ha! and he, he, he! + That's the sort of king for me. + + + +THE KING OF BRENTFORD. + +ANOTHER VERSION. + + +There was a king in Brentford,--of whom no legends tell, +But who, without his glory,--could eat and sleep right well. +His Polly's cotton nightcap,--it was his crown of state, +He slept of evenings early,--and rose of mornings late. + +All in a fine mud palace,--each day he took four meals, +And for a guard of honor,--a dog ran at his heels, +Sometimes, to view his kingdoms,--rode forth this monarch good, +And then a prancing jackass--he royally bestrode. + +There were no costly habits--with which this king was curst, +Except (and where's the harm on't?)--a somewhat lively thirst; +But people must pay taxes,--and kings must have their sport, +So out of every gallon--His Grace he took a quart. + +He pleased the ladies round him,--with manners soft and bland; +With reason good, they named him,--the father of his land. +Each year his mighty armies--marched forth in gallant show; +Their enemies were targets--their bullets they were tow. + +He vexed no quiet neighbor,--no useless conquest made, +But by the laws of pleasure,--his peaceful realm he swayed. +And in the years he reigned,--through all this country wide, +There was no cause for weeping,--save when the good man died. + +The faithful men of Brentford,--do still their king deplore, +His portrait yet is swinging,--beside an alehouse door. +And topers, tender-hearted,--regard his honest phiz, +And envy times departed--that knew a reign like his. + + + +LE GRENIER. + + +Je viens revoir l'asile ou ma jeunesse +De la misere a subi les lecons. +J'avais vingt ans, une folle maitresse, +De francs amis et l'amour des chansons +Bravant le monde et les sots et les sages, +Sans avenir, riche de mon printemps, +Leste et joyeux je montais six etages. +Dans un grenier qu'on est bien a vingt ans! + +C'est un grenier, point ne veux qu'on l'ignore. +La fut mon lit, bien chetif et bien dur; +La fut ma table; et je retrouve encore +Trois pieds d'un vers charbonnes sur le mur. +Apparaissez, plaisirs de mon bel age, +Que d'un coup d'aile a fustiges le temps, +Vingt fois pour vous j'ai mis ma montre en gage. +Dans un grenier qu'on est bien a vingt ans! + +Lisette ici doit surtout apparaitre, +Vive, jolie, avec un frais chapeau; +Deja sa main a l'etroite fenetre +Suspend son schal, en guise de rideau. +Sa robe aussi va parer ma couchette; +Respecte, Amour, ses plis longs et flottans. +J'ai su depuis qui payait sa toilette. +Dans un grenier qu'on est bien a vingt ans! + +A table un jour, jour de grande richesse, +De mes amis les voix brillaient en choeur, +Quand jusqu'ici monte un cri d'allegresse: +A Marengo Bonaparte est vainqueur. +Le canon gronde; un autre chant commence; +Nous celebrons tant de faits eclatans. +Les rois jamais n'envahiront la France. +Dans un grenier qu'on est bien a vingt ans! + +Quittons ce toit ou ma raison s'enivre. +Oh! qu'ils sont loin ces jours si regrettes! +J'echangerais ce qu'il me reste a vivre +Contre un des mois qu'ici Dieu m'a comptes, +Pour rever gloire, amour, plaisir, folie, +Pour depenser sa vie en peu d'instans, +D'un long espoir pour la voir embellie, +Dans un grenier qu'on est bien a vingt ans! + + + +THE GARRET. + + +With pensive eyes the little room I view, + Where, in my youth, I weathered it so long; +With a wild mistress, a stanch friend or two, + And a light heart still breaking into song: +Making a mock of life, and all its cares, + Rich in the glory of my rising sun, +Lightly I vaulted up four pair of stairs, + In the brave days when I was twenty-one. + +Yes; 'tis a garret--let him know't who will-- + There was my bed--full hard it was and small. +My table there--and I decipher still + Half a lame couplet charcoaled on the wall. +Ye joys, that Time hath swept with him away, + Come to mine eyes, ye dreams of love and fun; +For you I pawned my watch how many a day, + In the brave days when I was twenty-one. + +And see my little Jessy, first of all; + She comes with pouting lips and sparkling eyes: +Behold, how roguishly she pins her shawl + Across the narrow casement, curtain-wise; +Now by the bed her petticoat glides down, + And when did woman look the worse in none? +I have heard since who paid for many a gown, + In the brave days when I was twenty-one. + +One jolly evening, when my friends and I + Made happy music with our songs and cheers, +A shout of triumph mounted up thus high, + And distant cannon opened on our ears: +We rise,--we join in the triumphant strain,-- + Napoleon conquers--Austerlitz is won-- +Tyrants shall never tread us down again, + In the brave days when I was twenty-one. + +Let us begone--the place is sad and strange-- + How far, far off, these happy times appear; +All that I have to live I'd gladly change + For one such month as I have wasted here-- +To draw long dreams of beauty, love, and power, + From founts of hope that never will outrun, +And drink all life's quintessence in an hour, + Give me the days when I was twenty-one! + + + +ROGER-BONTEMPS. + + +Aux gens atrabilaires +Pour exemple donne, +En un temps de miseres +Roger-Bontemps est ne. +Vivre obscur a sa guise, +Narguer les mecontens: +Eh gai! c'est la devise +Du gros Roger-Bontemps. + +Du chapeau de son pere +Coiffe dans le grands jours, +De roses ou de lierre +Le rajeunir toujours; +Mettre un manteau de bure, +Vieil ami de vingt ans; +Eh gai! c'est la parure +Du gros Roger-Bontemps. + +Posseder dans sa hutte +Une table, un vieux lit, +Des cartes, une flute, +Un broc que Dieu remplit; +Un portrait de maitresse, +Un coffre et rien dedans; +Eh gai! c'est la richesse +Du gros Roger-Bontemps. + +Aux enfans de la ville +Montrer de petits jeux; +Etre fesseur habile +De contes graveleux; +Ne parler que de danse +Et d'almanachs chantans; +Eh gai! c'est la science +Du gros Roger-Bontemps. + +Faute de vins d'elite, +Sabler ceux du canton: +Preferer Marguerite +Aux dames du grand ton: +De joie et de tendresse +Remplir tous ses instans; +Eh gai! c'est la sagesse +Du gros Roger-Bontemps. + +Dire au ciel: Je me fie, +Mon pere, a ta bonte; +De ma philosophie +Pardonne le gaite +Que ma saison derniere +Soit encore un printemps; +Eh gai! c'est la priere +Du gros Roger-Bontemps. + +Vous, pauvres pleins d'envie, +Vous, riches desireux, +Vous, dont le char devie +Apres un cours heureux; +Vous, qui perdrez peut-etre +Des titres eclatans, +Eh gai! prenez pour maitre +Le gros Roger Bontemps. + + + +JOLLY JACK. + + +When fierce political debate + Throughout the isle was storming, +And Rads attacked the throne and state, + And Tories the reforming, +To calm the furious rage of each, + And right the land demented, +Heaven sent us Jolly Jack, to teach + The way to be contented. + +Jack's bed was straw, 'twas warm and soft, + His chair, a three-legged stool; +His broken jug was emptied oft, + Yet, somehow, always full. +His mistress' portrait decked the wall, + His mirror had a crack; +Yet, gay and glad, though this was all + His wealth, lived Jolly Jack. + +To give advice to avarice, + Teach pride its mean condition, +And preach good sense to dull pretence, + Was honest Jack's high mission. +Our simple statesman found his rule + Of moral in the flagon, +And held his philosophic school + Beneath the "George and Dragon." + +When village Solons cursed the Lords, + And called the malt-tax sinful, +Jack heeded not their angry words, + But smiled and drank his skinful. +And when men wasted health and life, + In search of rank and riches, +Jack marked, aloof, the paltry strife, + And wore his threadbare breeches. + +"I enter not the church," he said, + But I'll not seek to rob it;" +So worthy Jack Joe Miller read, + While others studied Cobbett. +His talk it was of feast and fun; + His guide the Almanack; +From youth to age thus gayly run + The life of Jolly Jack. + +And when Jack prayed, as oft he would, + He humbly thanked his Maker; +"I am," said he, "O Father good! + Nor Catholic nor Quaker: +Give each his creed, let each proclaim + His catalogue of curses; +I trust in Thee, and not in them, + In Thee, and in Thy mercies! + +"Forgive me if, midst all Thy works, + No hint I see of damning; +And think there's faith among the Turks, + And hope for e'en the Brahmin. +Harmless my mind is, and my mirth, + And kindly is my laughter: +I cannot see the smiling earth, + And think there's hell hereafter." + +Jack died; he left no legacy, + Save that his story teaches:-- +Content to peevish poverty; + Humility to riches. +Ye scornful great, ye envious small, + Come follow in his track; +We all were happier, if we all + Would copy JOLLY JACK. + + + + +FRENCH DRAMAS AND MELODRAMAS. + + +There are three kinds of drama in France, which you may subdivide +as much as you please. + +There is the old classical drama, wellnigh dead, and full time too: +old tragedies, in which half a dozen characters appear, and spout +sonorous Alexandrines for half a dozen hours. The fair Rachel has +been trying to revive this genre, and to untomb Racine; but be not +alarmed, Racine will never come to life again, and cause audiences +to weep as of yore. Madame Rachel can only galvanize the corpse, +not revivify it. Ancient French tragedy, red-heeled, patched, and +be-periwigged, lies in the grave; and it is only the ghost of it +that we see, which the fair Jewess has raised. There are classical +comedies in verse, too, wherein the knavish valets, rakish heroes, +stolid old guardians, and smart, free-spoken serving-women, +discourse in Alexandrines, as loud as the Horaces or the Cid. An +Englishman will seldom reconcile himself to the roulement of the +verses, and the painful recurrence of the rhymes; for my part, I +had rather go to Madame Saqui's or see Deburau dancing on a rope: +his lines are quite as natural and poetical. + +Then there is the comedy of the day, of which Monsieur Scribe is +the father. Good heavens! with what a number of gay colonels, +smart widows, and silly husbands has that gentleman peopled the +play-books. How that unfortunate seventh commandment has been +maltreated by him and his disciples. You will see four pieces, at +the Gymnase, of a night; and so sure as you see them, four husbands +shall be wickedly used. When is this joke to cease? Mon Dieu! +Play-writers have handled it for about two thousand years, and the +public, like a great baby, must have the tale repeated to it over +and over again. + +Finally, there is the Drama, that great monster which has sprung +into life of late years; and which is said, but I don't believe a +word of it, to have Shakspeare for a father. If Monsieur Scribe's +plays may be said to be so many ingenious examples how to break one +commandment, the drame is a grand and general chaos of them all; +nay, several crimes are added, not prohibited in the Decalogue, +which was written before dramas were. Of the drama, Victor Hugo +and Dumas are the well-known and respectable guardians. Every +piece Victor Hugo has written, since "Hernani," has contained a +monster--a delightful monster, saved by one virtue. There is +Triboulet, a foolish monster; Lucrece Borgia, a maternal monster; +Mary Tudor, a religious monster; Monsieur Quasimodo, a humpback +monster; and others, that might be named, whose monstrosities we +are induced to pardon--nay, admiringly to witness--because they are +agreeably mingled with some exquisite display of affection. And, +as the great Hugo has one monster to each play, the great Dumas +has, ordinarily, half a dozen, to whom murder is nothing; common +intrigue, and simple breakage of the before-mentioned commandment, +nothing; but who live and move in a vast, delightful complication +of crime, that cannot be easily conceived in England, much less +described. + +When I think over the number of crimes that I have seen Mademoiselle +Georges, for instance, commit, I am filled with wonder at her +greatness, and the greatness of the poets who have conceived these +charming horrors for her. I have seen her make love to, and murder, +her sons, in the "Tour de Nesle." I have seen her poison a company +of no less than nine gentlemen, at Ferrara, with an affectionate son +in the number; I have seen her, as Madame de Brinvilliers, kill off +numbers of respectable relations in the first four acts; and, at the +last, be actually burned at the stake, to which she comes shuddering, +ghastly, barefooted, and in a white sheet. Sweet excitement of +tender sympathies! Such tragedies are not so good as a real, +downright execution; but, in point of interest, the next thing to +it: with what a number of moral emotions do they fill the breast; +with what a hatred for vice, and yet a true pity and respect for +that grain of virtue that is to be found in us all: our bloody, +daughter-loving Brinvilliers; our warmhearted, poisonous Lucretia +Borgia; above all, what a smart appetite for a cool supper +afterwards, at the Cafe Anglais, when the horrors of the play act +as a piquant sauce to the supper! + +Or, to speak more seriously, and to come, at last, to the point. +After having seen most of the grand dramas which have been produced +at Paris for the last half-dozen years, and thinking over all that +one has seen,--the fictitious murders, rapes, adulteries, and other +crimes, by which one has been interested and excited,--a man may +take leave to be heartily ashamed of the manner in which he has +spent his time; and of the hideous kind of mental intoxication in +which he has permitted himself to indulge. + +Nor are simple society outrages the only sort of crime in which the +spectator of Paris plays has permitted himself to indulge; he has +recreated himself with a deal of blasphemy besides, and has passed +many pleasant evenings in beholding religion defiled and ridiculed. + +Allusion has been made, in a former paper, to a fashion that lately +obtained in France, and which went by the name of Catholic +reaction; and as, in this happy country, fashion is everything, we +have had not merely Catholic pictures and quasi religious books, +but a number of Catholic plays have been produced, very edifying to +the frequenters of the theatres or the Boulevards, who have learned +more about religion from these performances than they have +acquired, no doubt, in the whole of their lives before. In the +course of a very few years we have seen--"The Wandering Jew;" +"Belshazzar's Feast;" "Nebuchadnezzar:" and the "Massacre of the +Innocents;" "Joseph and his Brethren;" "The Passage of the Red +Sea;" and "The Deluge." + +The great Dumas, like Madame Sand before mentioned, has brought a +vast quantity of religion before the foot-lights. There was his +famous tragedy of "Caligula," which, be it spoken to the shame of +the Paris critics, was coldly received; nay, actually hissed, by +them. And why? Because, says Dumas, it contained a great deal too +much piety for the rogues. The public, he says, was much more +religious, and understood him at once. + +"As for the critics," says he, nobly, "let those who cried out +against the immorality of Antony and Marguerite de Bourgogne, +reproach me for THE CHASTITY OF MESSALINA." (This dear creature is +the heroine of the play of "Caligula.") "It matters little to me. +These people have but seen the form of my work: they have walked +round the tent, but have not seen the arch which it covered; they +have examined the vases and candles of the altar, but have not +opened the tabernacle! + +"The public alone has, instinctively, comprehended that there was, +beneath this outward sign, an inward and mysterious grace: it +followed the action of the piece in all its serpentine windings; it +listened for four hours, with pious attention (avec recueillement +et religion), to the sound of this rolling river of thoughts, which +may have appeared to it new and bold, perhaps, but chaste and +grave; and it retired, with its head on its breast, like a man who +had just perceived, in a dream, the solution of a problem which he +has long and vainly sought in his waking hours." + +You see that not only Saint Sand is an apostle, in her way; but +Saint Dumas is another. We have people in England who write for +bread, like Dumas and Sand, and are paid so much for their line; +but they don't set up for prophets. Mrs. Trollope has never +declared that her novels are inspired by heaven; Mr. Buckstone has +written a great number of farces, and never talked about the altar +and the tabernacle. Even Sir Edward Bulwer (who, on a similar +occasion, when the critics found fault with a play of his, answered +them by a pretty decent declaration of his own merits,) never +ventured to say that he had received a divine mission, and was +uttering five-act revelations. + +All things considered, the tragedy of "Caligula" is a decent +tragedy; as decent as the decent characters of the hero and heroine +can allow it to be; it may be almost said, provokingly decent: but +this, it must be remembered, is the characteristic of the modern +French school (nay, of the English school too); and if the writer +take the character of a remarkable scoundrel, it is ten to one but +he turns out an amiable fellow, in whom we have all the warmest +sympathy. "Caligula" is killed at the end of the performance; +Messalina is comparatively well-behaved; and the sacred part of the +performance, the tabernacle-characters apart from the mere "vase" +and "candlestick" personages, may be said to be depicted in the +person of a Christian convert, Stella, who has had the good fortune +to be converted by no less a person than Mary Magdalene, when she, +Stella, was staying on a visit to her aunt, near Narbonne. + + +STELLA (Continuant.) Voila +Que je vois s'avancer, sans pilote et sans rames, +Une barque portant deux hommes et deux femmes, +Et, spectacle inoui qui me ravit encor, +Tous quatre avaient au front une aureole d'or +D'ou partaient des rayons de si vive lumiere +Que je fus obligee a baisser la paupiere; +Et, lorsque je rouvris les yeux avec effroi, +Les voyageurs divins etaient aupres de moi. +Un jour de chacun d'eux et dans toute sa gloire +Je te raconterai la marveilleuse histoire, +Et tu l'adoreras, j'espere; en ce moment, +Ma mere, il te suffit de savoir seulement +Que tous quatre venaient du fond de la Syrie: +Un edit les avait bannis de leur patrie, +Et, se faisant bourreaux, des hommes irrites, +Sans avirons, sans eau, sans pain et garrotes, +Sur une frele barque echouee au rivage, +Les avaient a la mer pousses dans un orage. +Mais a peine l'esquif eut-il touche les flots +Qu'au cantique chante par les saints matelots, +L'ouragan replia ses ailes fremissantes, +Que la mer aplanit ses vagues mugissantes, +Et qu'un soleil plus pur, reparaissant aux cieux, +Enveloppa l'esquif d'un cercle radieux! . . . + +JUNIA.--Mais c'etait un prodige. + +STELLA.-- Un miracle, ma mere! +Leurs fers tomberent seuls, l'eau cessa d'etre amere, +Et deux fois chaque jour le bateau fut couvert +D'une manne pareille a celle du desert: +C'est ainsi que, pousses par une main celeste, +Je les vis aborder. + +JUNIA.-- Oh! dis vite le reste! + +STELLA.--A l'aube, trois d'entre eux quitterent la maison: +Marthe prit le chemin qui mene a Tarascon, +Lazare et Maximin celui de Massilie, +Et celle qui resta . . . . C'ETAIT LA PLUS JOLIE, (how truly French!) +Nous faisant appeler vers le milieu du jour, +Demanda si les monts ou les bois d'alentour +Cachaient quelque retraite inconnue et profonde, +Qui la put separer a tout jamais du monde. . . . . +Aquila se souvint qu'il avait penetre +Dans un antre sauvage et de tous ignore, +Grotte creusee aux flancs de ces Alpes sublimes, +Ou l'aigle fait son aire au-dessus des abimes. +Il offrit cet asile, et des le lendemain +Tous deux, pour l'y guider, nous etions en chemin. +Le soir du second jour nous touchames sa base: +La, tombant a genoux dans une sainte extase, +Elle pria long-temps, puis vers l'antre inconnu, +Denouant se chaussure, elle marcha pied nu. +Nos prieres, nos cris resterent sans reponses: +Au milieu des cailloux, des epines, des ronces, +Nous la vimes monter, un baton a la main, +Et ce n'est qu'arrivee au terme du chemin, +Qu'enfin elle tomba sans force et sans haleine . . . . + +JUNIA.--Comment la nommait-on, ma fille? + +STELLA.-- Madeleine. + + +Walking, says Stella, by the sea-shore, "A bark drew near, that had +nor sail nor oar; two women and two men the vessel bore: each of +that crew, 'twas wondrous to behold, wore round his head a ring of +blazing gold; from which such radiance glittered all around, that I +was fain to look towards the ground. And when once more I raised +my frightened eyne, before me stood the travellers divine; their +rank, the glorious lot that each befell, at better season, mother, +will I tell. Of this anon: the time will come when thou shalt +learn to worship as I worship now. Suffice it, that from Syria's +land they came; an edict from their country banished them. Fierce, +angry men had seized upon the four, and launched them in that +vessel from the shore. They launched these victims on the waters +rude; nor rudder gave to steer, nor bread for food. As the doomed +vessel cleaves the stormy main, that pious crew uplifts a sacred +strain; the angry waves are silent as it sings; the storm, awe- +stricken, folds its quivering wings. A purer sun appears the +heavens to light, and wraps the little bark in radiance bright. + +"JUNIA.--Sure, 'twas a prodigy. + +"STELLA.--A miracle. Spontaneous from their hands the fetters +fell. The salt sea-wave grew fresh, and, twice a day, manna (like +that which on the desert lay) covered the bark and fed them on +their way. Thus, hither led, at heaven's divine behest, I saw them +land-- + +"JUNIA.--My daughter, tell the rest. + +"STELLA.--Three of the four, our mansion left at dawn. One, +Martha, took the road to Tarascon; Lazarus and Maximin to Massily; +but one remained (the fairest of the three), who asked us, if i' +the woods or mountains near, there chanced to be some cavern lone +and drear; where she might hide, for ever, from all men. It +chanced, my cousin knew of such a den; deep hidden in a mountain's +hoary breast, on which the eagle builds his airy nest. And thither +offered he the saint to guide. Next day upon the journey forth we +hied; and came, at the second eve, with weary pace, unto the lonely +mountain's rugged base. Here the worn traveller, falling on her +knee, did pray awhile in sacred ecstasy; and, drawing off her +sandals from her feet, marched, naked, towards that desolate +retreat. No answer made she to our cries or groans; but walking +midst the prickles and rude stones, a staff in hand, we saw her +upwards toil; nor ever did she pause, nor rest the while, save at +the entry of that savage den. Here, powerless and panting, fell +she then. + +"JUNIA.--What was her name, my daughter? + +"STELLA. MAGDALEN." + + +Here the translator must pause--having no inclination to enter "the +tabernacle," in company with such a spotless high-priest as +Monsieur Dumas. + +Something "tabernacular" may be found in Dumas's famous piece of +"Don Juan de Marana." The poet has laid the scene of his play in a +vast number of places: in heaven (where we have the Virgin Mary and +little angels, in blue, swinging censers before her!)--on earth, +under the earth, and in a place still lower, but not mentionable to +ears polite; and the plot, as it appears from a dialogue between a +good and a bad angel, with which the play commences, turns upon a +contest between these two worthies for the possession of the soul +of a member of the family of Marana. + +"Don Juan de Marana" not only resembles his namesake, celebrated by +Mozart and Moliere, in his peculiar successes among the ladies, but +possesses further qualities which render his character eminently +fitting for stage representation: he unites the virtues of Lovelace +and Lacenaire; he blasphemes upon all occasions; he murders, at the +slightest provocation, and without the most trifling remorse; he +overcomes ladies of rigid virtue, ladies of easy virtue, and ladies +of no virtue at all; and the poet, inspired by the contemplation of +such a character, has depicted his hero's adventures and +conversation with wonderful feeling and truth. + +The first act of the play contains a half-dozen of murders and +intrigues; which would have sufficed humbler genius than M. +Dumas's, for the completion of, at least, half a dozen tragedies. +In the second act our hero flogs his elder brother, and runs away +with his sister-in-law; in the third, he fights a duel with a +rival, and kills him: whereupon the mistress of his victim takes +poison, and dies, in great agonies, on the stage. In the fourth +act, Don Juan, having entered a church for the purpose of carrying +off a nun, with whom he is in love, is seized by the statue of one +of the ladies whom he has previously victimized, and made to behold +the ghosts of all those unfortunate persons whose deaths he has +caused. + +This is a most edifying spectacle. The ghosts rise solemnly, each +in a white sheet, preceded by a wax-candle; and, having declared +their names and qualities, call, in chorus, for vengeance upon Don +Juan, as thus:-- + + +DON SANDOVAL loquitur. + +"I am Don Sandoval d'Ojedo. I played against Don Juan my fortune, +the tomb of my fathers, and the heart of my mistress;--I lost all: +I played against him my life, and I lost it. Vengeance against the +murderer! vengeance!"--(The candle goes out.) + + +THE CANDLE GOES OUT, and an angel descends--a flaming sword in his +hand--and asks: "Is there no voice in favor of Don Juan?" when lo! +Don Juan's father (like one of those ingenious toys called "Jack- +in-the-box,") jumps up from his coffin, and demands grace for his +son. + +When Martha the nun returns, having prepared all things for her +elopement, she finds Don Juan fainting upon the ground.--"I am no +longer your husband," says he, upon coming to himself; "I am no +longer Don Juan; I am Brother Juan the Trappist. Sister Martha, +recollect that you must die!" + +This was a most cruel blow upon Sister Martha, who is no less a +person than an angel, an angel in disguise--the good spirit of the +house of Marana, who has gone to the length of losing her wings and +forfeiting her place in heaven, in order to keep company with Don +Juan on earth, and, if possible, to convert him. Already, in her +angelic character, she had exhorted him to repentance, but in vain; +for, while she stood at one elbow, pouring not merely hints, but +long sermons, into his ear, at the other elbow stood a bad spirit, +grinning and sneering at all her pious counsels, and obtaining by +far the greater share of the Don's attention. + +In spite, however, of the utter contempt with which Don Juan treats +her,--in spite of his dissolute courses, which must shock her +virtue,--and his impolite neglect, which must wound her vanity, the +poor creature (who, from having been accustomed to better company, +might have been presumed to have had better taste), the unfortunate +angel feels a certain inclination for the Don, and actually flies +up to heaven to ask permission to remain with him on earth. + +And when the curtain draws up, to the sound of harps, and discovers +white-robed angels walking in the clouds, we find the angel of +Marana upon her knees, uttering the following address:-- + + +LE BON ANGE. + +Vierge, a qui le calice a la liqueur amere + Fut si souvent offert, +Mere, que l'on nomma la douloureuse mere, + Tant vous avez souffert! + +Vous, dont les yeux divins sur la terre des hommes + Ont verse plus de pleurs +Que vos pieds n'ont depuis, dans le ciel ou nous sommes, + Fait eclore de fleurs. + +Vase d'election, etoile matinale, + Miroir de purete, +Vous qui priez pour nous, d'une voix virginale, + La supreme bonte; + +A mon tour, aujourd'hui, bienheureuse Marie, + Je tombe a vos genoux; +Daignez donc m'ecouter, car c'est vous que je prie, + Vous qui priez pour nous. + + +Which may be thus interpreted:-- + + +O Virgin blest! by whom the bitter draught + So often has been quaffed, +That, for thy sorrow, thou art named by us + The Mother Dolorous! + +Thou, from whose eyes have fallen more tears of woe, + Upon the earth below, +Than 'neath thy footsteps, in this heaven of ours, + Have risen flowers! + +O beaming morning star! O chosen vase! + O mirror of all grace! +Who, with thy virgin voice, dost ever pray + Man's sins away; + +Bend down thine ear, and list, O blessed saint! + Unto my sad complaint; +Mother! to thee I kneel, on thee I call, + Who hearest all. + + +She proceeds to request that she may be allowed to return to earth, +and follow the fortunes of Don Juan; and, as there is one +difficulty, or, to use her own words,-- + + +Mais, comme vous savez qu'aux voutes eternelles, + Malgre moi, tend mon vol, +Soufflez sur mon etoile et detachez mes ailes, + Pour m'enchainer au sol; + + +her request is granted, her star is BLOWN OUT (O poetic allusion!) +and she descends to earth to love, and to go mad, and to die for +Don Juan! + +The reader will require no further explanation, in order to be +satisfied as to the moral of this play: but is it not a very bitter +satire upon the country, which calls itself the politest nation in +the world, that the incidents, the indecency, the coarse blasphemy, +and the vulgar wit of this piece, should find admirers among the +public, and procure reputation for the author? Could not the +Government, which has re-established, in a manner, the theatrical +censorship, and forbids or alters plays which touch on politics, +exert the same guardianship over public morals? The honest English +reader, who has a faith in his clergyman, and is a regular +attendant at Sunday worship, will not be a little surprised at the +march of intellect among our neighbors across the Channel, and at +the kind of consideration in which they hold their religion. Here +is a man who seizes upon saints and angels, merely to put sentiments +in their mouths which might suit a nymph of Drury Lane. He shows +heaven, in order that he may carry debauch into it; and avails +himself of the most sacred and sublime parts of our creed as a +vehicle for a scene-painter's skill, or an occasion for a handsome +actress to wear a new dress. + +M. Dumas's piece of "Kean" is not quite so sublime; it was brought +out by the author as a satire upon the French critics, who, to +their credit be it spoken, had generally attacked him, and was +intended by him, and received by the public, as a faithful +portraiture of English manners. As such, it merits special +observation and praise. In the first act you find a Countess and +an Ambassadress, whose conversation relates purely to the great +actor. All the ladies in London are in love with him, especially +the two present. As for the Ambassadress, she prefers him to her +husband (a matter of course in all French plays), and to a more +seducing person still--no less a person than the Prince of Wales! +who presently waits on the ladies, and joins in their conversation +concerning Kean. "This man," says his Royal Highness, "is the very +pink of fashion. Brummell is nobody when compared to him; and I +myself only an insignificant private gentleman. He has a +reputation among ladies, for which I sigh in vain; and spends an +income twice as great as mine." This admirable historic touch at +once paints the actor and the Prince; the estimation in which the +one was held, and the modest economy for which the other was so +notorious. + +Then we have Kean, at a place called the Trou de Charbon, the "Coal +Hole," where, to the edification of the public, he engages in a +fisty combat with a notorious boxer. This scene was received by +the audience with loud exclamations of delight, and commented on, +by the journals, as a faultless picture of English manners. "The +Coal Hole" being on the banks of the Thames, a nobleman--LORD +MELBOURN!--has chosen the tavern as a rendezvous for a gang of +pirates, who are to have their ship in waiting, in order to carry +off a young lady with whom his lordship is enamored. It need not +be said that Kean arrives at the nick of time, saves the innocent +Meess Anna, and exposes the infamy of the Peer. A violent tirade +against noblemen ensues, and Lord Melbourn slinks away, disappointed, +to meditate revenge. Kean's triumphs continue through all the acts: +the Ambassadress falls madly in love with him; the Prince becomes +furious at his ill success, and the Ambassador dreadfully jealous. +They pursue Kean to his dressing-room at the theatre; where, +unluckily, the Ambassadress herself has taken refuge. Dreadful +quarrels ensue; the tragedian grows suddenly mad upon the stage, and +so cruelly insults the Prince of Wales that his Royal Highness +determines to send HIM TO BOTANY BAY. His sentence, however, is +commuted to banishment to New York; whither, of course, Miss Anna +accompanies him; rewarding him, previously, with her hand and twenty +thousand a year! + +This wonderful performance was gravely received and admired by the +people of Paris: the piece was considered to be decidedly moral, +because the popular candidate was made to triumph throughout, and +to triumph in the most virtuous manner; for, according to the +French code of morals, success among women is, at once, the proof +and the reward of virtue. + +The sacred personage introduced in Dumas's play behind a cloud, +figures bodily in the piece of the Massacre of the Innocents, +represented at Paris last year. She appears under a different +name, but the costume is exactly that of Carlo Dolce's Madonna; and +an ingenious fable is arranged, the interest of which hangs upon +the grand Massacre of the Innocents, perpetrated in the fifth act. +One of the chief characters is Jean le Precurseur, who threatens +woe to Herod and his race, and is beheaded by orders of that +sovereign. + +In the Festin de Balthazar, we are similarly introduced to Daniel, +and the first scene is laid by the waters of Babylon, where a +certain number of captive Jews are seated in melancholy postures; a +Babylonian officer enters, exclaiming, "Chantez nous quelques +chansons de Jerusalem," and the request is refused in the language +of the Psalm. Belshazzar's Feast is given in a grand tableau, +after Martin's picture. That painter, in like manner, furnished +scenes for the Deluge. Vast numbers of schoolboys and children are +brought to see these pieces; the lower classes delight in them. +The famous Juif Errant, at the theatre of the Porte St. Martin, was +the first of the kind, and its prodigious success, no doubt, +occasioned the number of imitations which the other theatres have +produced. + +The taste of such exhibitions, of course, every English person will +question; but we must remember the manners of the people among whom +they are popular; and, if I may be allowed to hazard such an +opinion, there is in every one of these Boulevard mysteries, a kind +of rude moral. The Boulevard writers don't pretend to "tabernacles" +and divine gifts, like Madame Sand and Dumas before mentioned. If +they take a story from the sacred books, they garble it without +mercy, and take sad liberties with the text; but they do not deal in +descriptions of the agreeably wicked, or ask pity and admiration for +tender-hearted criminals and philanthropic murderers, as their +betters do. Vice is vice on the Boulevard; and it is fine to hear +the audience, as a tyrant king roars out cruel sentences of death, +or a bereaved mother pleads for the life of her child, making their +remarks on the circumstances of the scene. "Ah, le gredin!" growls +an indignant countryman. "Quel monstre!" says a grisette, in a +fury. You see very fat old men crying like babies, and, like +babies, sucking enormous sticks of barley-sugar. Actors and audience +enter warmly into the illusion of the piece; and so especially are +the former affected, that at Franconi's, where the battles of the +Empire are represented, there is as regular gradation in the ranks +of the mimic army as in the real imperial legions. After a man has +served, with credit, for a certain number of years in the line, he +is promoted to be an officer--an acting officer. If he conducts +himself well, he may rise to be a Colonel or a General of Division; +if ill, he is degraded to the ranks again; or, worst degradation of +all, drafted into a regiment of Cossacks or Austrians. Cossacks is +the lowest depth, however; nay, it is said that the men who perform +these Cossack parts receive higher wages than the mimic grenadiers +and old guard. They will not consent to be beaten every night, even +in play; to be pursued in hundreds, by a handful of French; to fight +against their beloved Emperor. Surely there is fine hearty virtue +in this, and pleasant child-like simplicity. + +So that while the drama of Victor Hugo, Dumas, and the enlightened +classes, is profoundly immoral and absurd, the DRAMA of the common +people is absurd, if you will, but good and right-hearted. I have +made notes of one or two of these pieces, which all have good +feeling and kindness in them, and which turn, as the reader will +see, upon one or two favorite points of popular morality. A drama +that obtained a vast success at the Porte Saint Martin was "La +Duchesse de la Vauballiere." The Duchess is the daughter of a poor +farmer, who was carried off in the first place, and then married by +M. le Duc de la Vauballiere, a terrible roue, the farmer's +landlord, and the intimate friend of Philippe d'Orleans, the Regent +of France. + +Now the Duke, in running away with the lady, intended to dispense +altogether with ceremony, and make of Julie anything but his wife; +but Georges, her father, and one Morisseau, a notary, discovered +him in his dastardly act, and pursued him to the very feet of the +Regent, who compelled the pair to marry and make it up. + +Julie complies; but though she becomes a Duchess, her heart remains +faithful to her old flame, Adrian, the doctor; and she declares +that, beyond the ceremony, no sort of intimacy shall take place +between her husband and herself. + +Then the Duke begins to treat her in the most ungentleman-like +manner: he abuses her in every possible way; he introduces improper +characters into her house; and, finally, becomes so disgusted with +her, that he determines to make away with her altogether. + +For this purpose, he sends forth into the highways and seizes a +doctor, bidding him, on pain of death, to write a poisonous +prescription for Madame la Duchesse. She swallows the potion; and +O horror! the doctor turns out to be Dr. Adrian; whose woe may be +imagined, upon finding that he has been thus committing murder on +his true love! + +Let not the reader, however, be alarmed as to the fate of the +heroine; no heroine of a tragedy ever yet died in the third act; +and, accordingly, the Duchess gets up perfectly well again in the +fourth, through the instrumentality of Morisseau, the good lawyer. + +And now it is that vice begins to be really punished. The Duke, +who, after killing his wife, thinks it necessary to retreat, and +take refuge in Spain, is tracked to the borders of that country by +the virtuous notary, and there receives such a lesson as he will +never forget to his dying day. + +Morisseau, in the first instance, produces a deed (signed by his +Holiness the Pope), which annuls the marriage of the Duke de la +Vauballiere; then another deed, by which it is proved that he was +not the eldest son of old La Vauballiere, the former Duke; then +another deed, by which he shows that old La Vauballiere (who seems +to have been a disreputable old fellow) was a bigamist, and that, +in consequence, the present man, styling himself Duke, is +illegitimate; and finally, Morisseau brings forward another +document, which proves that the REG'LAR Duke is no other than +Adrian, the doctor! + +Thus it is that love, law, and physic combined, triumph over the +horrid machinations of this star-and-gartered libertine. + +"Hermann l'Ivrogne" is another piece of the same order; and though +not very refined, yet possesses considerable merit. As in the case +of the celebrated Captain Smith of Halifax, who "took to drinking +ratafia, and thought of poor Miss Bailey,"--a woman and the bottle +have been the cause of Hermann's ruin. Deserted by his mistress, +who has been seduced from him by a base Italian Count, Hermann, a +German artist, gives himself entirely up to liquor and revenge: but +when he finds that force, and not infidelity, have been the cause +of his mistress's ruin, the reader can fancy the indignant ferocity +with which he pursues the infame ravisseur. A scene, which is +really full of spirit, and excellently well acted, here ensues! +Hermann proposes to the Count, on the eve of their duel, that the +survivor should bind himself to espouse the unhappy Marie; but the +Count declares himself to be already married, and the student, +finding a duel impossible (for his object was to restore, at all +events, the honor of Marie), now only thinks of his revenge, and +murders the Count. Presently, two parties of men enter Hermann's +apartment: one is a company of students, who bring him the news +that he has obtained the prize of painting; the other the +policemen, who carry him to prison, to suffer the penalty of +murder. + +I could mention many more plays in which the popular morality is +similiarly expressed. The seducer, or rascal of the piece, is +always an aristocrat,--a wicked count, or licentious marquis, who +is brought to condign punishment just before the fall of the +curtain. And too good reason have the French people had to lay +such crimes to the charge of the aristocracy, who are expiating +now, on the stage, the wrongs which they did a hundred years since. +The aristocracy is dead now; but the theatre lives upon traditions: +and don't let us be too scornful at such simple legends as are +handed down by the people from race to race. Vulgar prejudice +against the great it may be; but prejudice against the great is +only a rude expression of sympathy with the poor; long, therefore, +may fat epiciers blubber over mimic woes, and honest proletaires +shake their fists, shouting--"Gredin, scelerat, monstre de +marquis!" and such republican cries. + +Remark, too, another development of this same popular feeling of +dislike against men in power. What a number of plays and legends +have we (the writer has submitted to the public, in the preeeding +pages, a couple of specimens; one of French, and the other of +Polish origin,) in which that great and powerful aristocrat, +the Devil, is made to be miserably tricked, humiliated, and +disappointed? A play of this class, which, in the midst of all its +absurdities and claptraps, had much of good in it, was called "Le +Maudit des Mers." Le Maudit is a Dutch captain, who, in the midst +of a storm, while his crew were on their knees at prayers, +blasphemed and drank punch; but what was his astonishment at +beholding an archangel with a sword all covered with flaming resin, +who told him that as he, in this hour of danger, was too daring, or +too wicked, to utter a prayer, he never should cease roaming the +seas until he could find some being who would pray to heaven for +him! + +Once only, in a hundred years, was the skipper allowed to land for +this purpose; and this piece runs through four centuries, in as +many acts, describing the agonies and unavailing attempts of the +miserable Dutchman. Willing to go any lengths in order to obtain +his prayer, he, in the second act, betrays a Virgin of the Sun to a +follower of Pizarro: and, in the third, assassinates the heroic +William of Nassau; but ever before the dropping of the curtain, the +angel and sword make their appearance--"Treachery," says the +spirit, "cannot lessen thy punishment;--crime will not obtain thy +release--A la mer! a la mer!" and the poor devil returns to the +ocean, to be lonely, and tempest-tossed, and sea-sick for a hundred +years more. + +But his woes are destined to end with the fourth act. Having +landed in America, where the peasants on the sea-shore, all dressed +in Italian costumes, are celebrating, in a quadrille, the victories +of Washington, he is there lucky enough to find a young girl to +pray for him. Then the curse is removed, the punishment is over, +and a celestial vessel, with angels on the decks and "sweet little +cherubs" fluttering about the shrouds and the poop, appear to +receive him. + +This piece was acted at Franconi's, where, for once, an angel-ship +was introduced in place of the usual horsemanship. + +One must not forget to mention here, how the English nation is +satirized by our neighbors; who have some droll traditions +regarding us. In one of the little Christmas pieces produced at +the Palais Royal (satires upon the follies of the past twelve +months, on which all the small theatres exhaust their wit), the +celebrated flight of Messrs. Green and Monck Mason was parodied, +and created a good deal of laughter at the expense of John Bull. +Two English noblemen, Milor Cricri and Milor Hanneton, appear as +descending from a balloon, and one of them communicates to the +public the philosophic observations which were made in the course +of his aerial tour. + +"On leaving Vauxhall," says his lordship, "we drank a bottle of +Madeira, as a health to the friends from whom we parted, and +crunched a few biscuits to support nature during the hours before +lunch. In two hours we arrived at Canterbury, enveloped in clouds: +lunch, bottled porter: at Dover, carried several miles in a tide of +air, bitter cold, cherry-brandy; crossed over the Channel safely, +and thought with pity of the poor people who were sickening in the +steamboats below: more bottled porter: over Calais, dinner, roast- +beef of Old England; near Dunkirk,--night falling, lunar rainbow, +brandy-and-water; night confoundedly thick; supper, nightcap of +rum-punch, and so to bed. The sun broke beautifully through the +morning mist, as we boiled the kettle and took our breakfast over +Cologne. In a few more hours we concluded this memorable voyage, +and landed safely at Weilburg, in good time for dinner." + +The joke here is smart enough; but our honest neighbors make many +better, when they are quite unconscious of the fun. Let us leave +plays, for a moment, for poetry, and take an instance of French +criticism, concerning England, from the works of a famous French +exquisite and man of letters. The hero of the poem addresses his +mistress-- + + +Londres, tu le sais trop, en fait de capitale, +Est-ce que fit le ciel de plus froid et plus pale, +C'est la ville du gaz, des marins, du brouillard; +On s'y couche a minuit, et l'on s'y leve tard; +Ses raouts tant vantes ne sont qu'une boxade, +Sur ses grands quais jamais echelle ou serenade, +Mais de volumineux bourgeois pris de porter +Qui passent sans lever le front a Westminster; +Et n'etait sa foret de mats percant la brume, +Sa tour dont a minuit le vieil oeil s'allume, +Et tes deux yeux, Zerline, illumines bien plus, +Je dirais que, ma foi, des romans que j'ai lus, +Il n'en est pas un seul, plus lourd, plus lethargique +Que cette nation qu'on nomme Britannique! + + +The writer of the above lines (which let any man who can translate) +is Monsieur Roger de Beauvoir, a gentleman who actually lived many +months in England, as an attache to the embassy of M. de Polignac. +He places the heroine of his tale in a petit reduit pres le Strand, +"with a green and fresh jalousie, and a large blind, let down all +day; you fancied you were entering a bath of Asia, as soon as you +had passed the perfumed threshold of this charming retreat!" He +next places her-- + + +Dans un square ecarte, morne et couverte de givre, +Ou se cache un hotel, aux vieux lions de cuivre; + + +and the hero of the tale, a young French poet, who is in London, is +truly unhappy in that village. + + +Arthur desseche et meurt. Dans la ville de Sterne, +Rien qu'en voyant le peuple il a le mal de mer +Il n'aime ni le Parc, gai comme une citerne, +Ni le tir au pigeon, ni le soda-water. + +Liston ne le fait plus sourciller! Il rumine +Sur les trottoirs du Strand, droit comme un echiquier, +Contre le peuple anglais, les negres, la vermine, +Et les mille cokneys du peuple boutiquier, + +Contre tous les bas-bleus, contre les patissieres, +Les parieurs d'Epsom, le gin, le parlement, +La quaterly, le roi, la pluie et les libraires, +Dont il ne touche plus, helas! un sou d'argent! + +Et chaque gentleman lui dit: L'heureux poete! + + +"L'heureux poete" indeed! I question if a poet in this wide world +is so happy as M. de Beauvoir, or has made such wonderful +discoveries. "The bath of Asia, with green jalousies," in which +the lady dwells; "the old hotel, with copper lions, in a lonely +square;"--were ever such things heard of, or imagined, but by a +Frenchman? The sailors, the negroes, the vermin, whom he meets in +the street,--how great and happy are all these discoveries! Liston +no longer makes the happy poet frown; and "gin," "cokneys," and the +"quaterly" have not the least effect upon him! And this gentleman +has lived many months amongst us; admires Williams Shakspear, the +"grave et vieux prophete," as he calls him, and never, for an +instant, doubts that his description contains anything absurd! + +I don't know whether the great Dumas has passed any time in +England; but his plays show a similar intimate knowledge of our +habits. Thus in Kean, the stage-manager is made to come forward +and address the pit, with a speech beginning, "My Lords and +Gentlemen;" and a company of Englishwomen are introduced (at the +memorable "Coal hole"), and they all wear PINAFORES; as if the +British female were in the invariable habit of wearing this outer +garment, or slobbering her gown without it. There was another +celebrated piece, enacted some years since, upon the subject of +Queen Caroline, where our late adored sovereign, George, was made +to play a most despicable part; and where Signor Bergami fought a +duel with Lord Londonderry. In the last act of this play, the +House of Lords was represented, and Sir Brougham made an eloquent +speech in the Queen's favor. Presently the shouts of the mob were +heard without; from shouting they proceeded to pelting; and +pasteboard-brickbats and cabbages came flying among the +representatives of our hereditary legislature. At this unpleasant +juncture, SIR HARDINGE, the Secretary-at-War, rises and calls in +the military; the act ends in a general row, and the ignominious +fall of Lord Liverpool, laid low by a brickbat from the mob! + +The description of these scenes is, of course, quite incapable of +conveying any notion of their general effect. You must have the +solemnity of the actors, as they Meess and Milor one another, and +the perfect gravity and good faith with which the audience listen +to them. Our stage Frenchman is the old Marquis, with sword, and +pigtail, and spangled court coat. The Englishman of the French +theatre has, invariably, a red wig, and almost always leather +gaiters, and a long white upper Benjamin: he remains as he was +represented in the old caricatures after the peace, when Vernet +designed him. + +And to conclude this catalogue of blunders: in the famous piece of +the "Naufrage de la Meduse," the first act is laid on board an +English ship-of-war, all the officers of which appeared in light +blue or green coats (the lamp-light prevented our distinguishing +the color accurately), and TOP-BOOTS! + + +Let us not attempt to deaden the force of this tremendous blow by +any more remarks. The force of blundering can go no further. +Would a Chinese playwright or painter have stranger notions about +the barbarians than our neighbors, who are separated from us but by +two hours of salt water? + + + + +MEDITATIONS AT VERSAILLES. + + +The palace of Versailles has been turned into a bricabrac shop of +late years, and its time-honored walls have been covered with many +thousand yards of the worst pictures that eye ever looked on. I +don't know how many leagues of battles and sieges the unhappy +visitor is now obliged to march through, amidst a crowd of +chattering Paris cockneys, who are never tired of looking at the +glories of the Grenadier Francais; to the chronicling of whose +deeds this old palace of the old kings is now altogether devoted. +A whizzing, screaming steam-engine rushes hither from Paris, +bringing shoals of badauds in its wake. The old coucous are all +gone, and their place knows them no longer. Smooth asphaltum +terraces, tawdry lamps, and great hideous Egyptian obelisks, have +frightened them away from the pleasant station they used to occupy +under the trees of the Champs Elysees; and though the old coucous +were just the most uncomfortable vehicles that human ingenuity ever +constructed, one can't help looking back to the days of their +existence with a tender regret; for there was pleasure then in the +little trip of three leagues: and who ever had pleasure in a +railway journey? Does any reader of this venture to say that, on +such a voyage, he ever dared to be pleasant? Do the most hardened +stokers joke with one another? I don't believe it. Look into +every single car of the train, and you will see that every single +face is solemn. They take their seats gravely, and are silent, for +the most part, during the journey; they dare not look out of +window, for fear of being blinded by the smoke that comes whizzing +by, or of losing their heads in one of the windows of the down +train; they ride for miles in utter damp and darkness: through +awful pipes of brick, that have been run pitilessly through the +bowels of gentle mother earth, the cast-iron Frankenstein of an +engine gallops on, puffing and screaming. Does any man pretend to +say that he ENJOYS the journey?--he might as well say that he +enjoyed having his hair cut; he bears it, but that is all: he will +not allow the world to laugh at him, for any exhibition of slavish +fear; and pretends, therefore, to be at his ease; but he IS afraid: +nay, ought to be, under the circumstances. I am sure Hannibal or +Napoleon would, were they locked suddenly into a car; there kept +close prisoners for a certain number of hours, and whirled along at +this dizzy pace. You can't stop, if you would:--you may die, but +you can't stop; the engine may explode upon the road, and up you go +along with it; or, may be a bolter and take a fancy to go down a +hill, or into a river: all this you must bear, for the privilege of +travelling twenty miles an hour. + +This little journey, then, from Paris to Versailles, that used to +be so merry of old, has lost its pleasures since the disappearance +of the coucous; and I would as lief have for companions the statues +that lately took a coach from the bridge opposite the Chamber of +Deputies, and stepped out in the court of Versailles, as the most +part of the people who now travel on the railroad. The stone +figures are not a whit more cold and silent than these persons, who +used to be, in the old coucous, so talkative and merry. The +prattling grisette and her swain from the Ecole de Droit; the huge +Alsacian carabineer, grimly smiling under his sandy moustaches and +glittering brass helmet; the jolly nurse, in red calico, who had +been to Paris to show mamma her darling Lolo, or Auguste;--what +merry companions used one to find squeezed into the crazy old +vehicles that formerly performed the journey! But the age of +horseflesh is gone--that of engineers, economists, and calculators +has succeeded; and the pleasure of coucoudom is extinguished for +ever. Why not mourn over it, as Mr. Burke did over his cheap +defence of nations and unbought grace of life; that age of +chivalry, which he lamented, apropos of a trip to Versailles, some +half a century back? + +Without stopping to discuss (as might be done, in rather a neat and +successful manner) whether the age of chivalry was cheap or dear, +and whether, in the time of the unbought grace of life, there was +not more bribery, robbery, villainy, tyranny, and corruption, than +exists even in our own happy days,--let us make a few moral and +historical remarks upon the town of Versailles; where, between +railroad and coucou, we are surely arrived by this time. + +The town is, certainly, the most moral of towns. You pass from the +railroad station through a long, lonely suburb, with dusty rows of +stunted trees on either side, and some few miserable beggars, idle +boys, and ragged old women under them. Behind the trees are gaunt, +mouldy houses; palaces once, where (in the days of the unbought +grace of life) the cheap defence of nations gambled, ogled, +swindled, intrigued; whence high-born duchesses used to issue, in +old times, to act as chambermaids to lovely Du Barri; and mighty +princes rolled away, in gilt caroches, hot for the honor of +lighting his Majesty to bed, or of presenting his stockings when he +rose, or of holding his napkin when he dined. Tailors, chandlers, +tinmen, wretched hucksters, and greengrocers, are now established +in the mansions of the old peers; small children are yelling at the +doors, with mouths besmeared with bread and treacle; damp rags are +hanging out of every one of the windows, steaming in the sun; +oyster-shells, cabbage-stalks, broken crockery, old papers, lie +basking in the same cheerful light. A solitary water-cart goes +jingling down the wide pavement, and spirts a feeble refreshment +over the dusty, thirsty stones. + +After pacing for some time through such dismal streets, we +deboucher on the grande place; and before us lies the palace +dedicated to all the glories of France. In the midst of the great +lonely plain this famous residence of King Louis looks low and +mean.--Honored pile! Time was when tall musketeers and gilded +body-guards allowed none to pass the gate. Fifty years ago, ten +thousand drunken women from Paris broke through the charm; and now +a tattered commissioner will conduct you through it for a penny, +and lead you up to the sacred entrance of the palace. + +We will not examine all the glories of France, as here they are +portrayed in pictures and marble: catalogues are written about +these miles of canvas, representing all the revolutionary battles, +from Valmy to Waterloo,--all the triumphs of Louis XIV.--all the +mistresses of his successor--and all the great men who have +flourished since the French empire began. Military heroes are +most of these--fierce constables in shining steel, marshals in +voluminous wigs, and brave grenadiers in bearskin caps; some dozens +of whom gained crowns, principalities, dukedoms; some hundreds, +plunder and epaulets; some millions, death in African sands, or in +icy Russian plains, under the guidance, and for the good, of that +arch-hero, Napoleon. By far the greater part of "all the glories" +of France (as of most other countries) is made up of these military +men: and a fine satire it is on the cowardice of mankind, that they +pay such an extraordinary homage to the virtue called courage; +filling their history-books with tales about it, and nothing but +it. + +Let them disguise the place, however, as they will, and plaster the +walls with bad pictures as they please, it will be hard to think of +any family but one, as one traverses this vast gloomy edifice. It +has not been humbled to the ground, as a certain palace of Babel +was of yore; but it is a monument of fallen pride, not less awful, +and would afford matter for a whole library of sermons. The cheap +defence of nations expended a thousand millions in the erection of +this magnificent dwelling-place. Armies were employed, in the +intervals of their warlike labors, to level hills, or pile them up; +to turn rivers, and to build aqueducts, and transplant woods, and +construct smooth terraces, and long canals. A vast garden grew up +in a wilderness, and a stupendous palace in the garden, and a +stately city round the palace: the city was peopled with parasites, +who daily came to do worship before the creator of these wonders-- +the Great King. "Dieu seul est grand," said courtly Massillon; but +next to him, as the prelate thought, was certainly Louis, his +vicegerent here upon earth--God's lieutenant-governor of the +world,--before whom courtiers used to fall on their knees, and +shade their eyes, as if the light of his countenance, like the sun, +which shone supreme in heaven, the type of him, was too dazzling to +bear. + +Did ever the sun shine upon such a king before, in such a palace?-- +or, rather, did such a king ever shine upon the sun? When Majesty +came out of his chamber, in the midst of his superhuman splendors, +viz, in his cinnamon-colored coat, embroidered with diamonds; his +pyramid of a wig,* his red-heeled shoes, that lifted him four inches +from the ground, "that he scarcely seemed to touch;" when he came +out, blazing upon the dukes and duchesses that waited his rising,-- +what could the latter do, but cover their eyes, and wink, and +tremble? And did he not himself believe, as he stood there, on his +high heels, under his ambrosial periwig, that there was something +in him more than man--something above Fate? + + +* It is fine to think that, in the days of his youth, his Majesty +Louis XIV. used to POWDER HIS WIG WITH GOLD-DUST. + + +This, doubtless, was he fain to believe; and if, on very fine days, +from his terrace before his gloomy palace of Saint Germains, he +could catch a glimpse, in the distance, of a certain white spire +of St. Denis, where his race lay buried, he would say to his +courtiers, with a sublime condescension, "Gentlemen, you must +remember that I, too, am mortal." Surely the lords in waiting +could hardly think him serious, and vowed that his Majesty always +loved a joke. However, mortal or not, the sight of that sharp +spire wounded his Majesty's eyes; and is said, by the legend, to +have caused the building of the palace of Babel-Versailles. + +In the year 1681, then, the great king, with bag and baggage,--with +guards, cooks, chamberlains, mistresses, Jesuits, gentlemen, +lackeys, Fenelons, Molieres, Lauzuns, Bossuets, Villars, Villeroys, +Louvois, Colberts,--transported himself to his new palace: the old +one being left for James of England and Jaquette his wife, when +their time should come. And when the time did come, and James +sought his brother's kingdom, it is on record that Louis hastened +to receive and console him, and promised to restore, incontinently, +those islands from which the canaille had turned him. Between +brothers such a gift was a trifle; and the courtiers said to one +another reverently:* "The Lord said unto my Lord, Sit thou on my +right hand, until I make thine enemies thy footstool." There was +no blasphemy in the speech: on the contrary, it was gravely said, +by a faithful believing man, who thought it no shame to the latter, +to compare his Majesty with God Almighty. Indeed, the books of the +time will give one a strong idea how general was this Louis- +worship. I have just been looking at one, which was written by an +honest Jesuit and Protege of Pere la Chaise, who dedicates a book +of medals to the august Infants of France, which does, indeed, go +almost as far in print. He calls our famous monarch "Louis le +Grand:--1, l'invincible; 2, le sage; 3, le conquerant; 4, la +merveille de son siecle; 5, la terreur de ses ennemis; 6, l'amour +de ses peuples; 7, l'arbitre de la paix et de la guerre; 8, +l'admiration de l'univers; 9, et digne d'en etre le maitre; 10, le +modele d'un heros acheve; 11, digne de l'immortalite, et de la +veneration de tous les siecles!" + + +* I think it is in the amusing "Memoirs of Madame de Crequi" (a +forgery, but a work remarkable for its learning and accuracy) that +the above anecdote is related. + + +A pretty Jesuit declaration, truly, and a good honest judgment upon +the great king! In thirty years more--1. The invincible had been +beaten a vast number of times. 2. The sage was the puppet of an +artful old woman, who was the puppet of more artful priests. +3. The conqueror had quite forgotten his early knack of conquering. +5. The terror of his enemies (for 4, the marvel of his age, we +pretermit, it being a loose term, that may apply to any person or +thing) was now terrified by his enemies in turn. 6. The love of +his people was as heartily detested by them as scarcely any other +monarch, not even his great-grandson, has been, before or since. +7. The arbiter of peace and war was fain to send superb +ambassadors to kick their heels in Dutch shopkeepers' ante- +chambers. 8, is again a general term. 9. The man fit to be +master of the universe, was scarcely master of his own kingdom. +10. The finished hero was all but finished, in a very commonplace +and vulgar way. And 11. The man worthy of immortality was just at +the point of death, without a friend to soothe or deplore him; only +withered old Maintenon to utter prayers at his bedside, and +croaking Jesuits to prepare him,* with heaven knows what wretched +tricks and mummeries, for his appearance in that Great Republic +that lies on the other side of the grave. In the course of his +fourscore splendid miserable years, he never had but one friend, +and he ruined and left her. Poor La Valliere, what a sad tale is +yours! "Look at this Galerie des Glaces," cries Monsieur Vatout, +staggering with surprise at the appearance of the room, two hundred +and forty-two feet long, and forty high. "Here it was that Louis +displayed all the grandeur of royalty; and such was the splendor of +his court, and the luxury of the times, that this immense room +could hardly contain the crowd of courtiers that pressed around the +monarch." Wonderful! wonderful! Eight thousand four hundred and +sixty square feet of courtiers! Give a square yard to each, and +you have a matter of three thousand of them. Think of three +thousand courtiers per day, and all the chopping and changing of +them for near forty years: some of them dying, some getting their +wishes, and retiring to their provinces to enjoy their plunder; +some disgraced, and going home to pine away out of the light of the +sun;** new ones perpetually arriving,--pushing, squeezing, for +their place, in the crowded Galerie des Glaces. A quarter of a +million of noble countenances, at the very least, must those +glasses have reflected. Rouge, diamonds, ribbons, patches, upon +the faces of smiling ladies: towering periwigs, sleek shaven +crowns, tufted moustaches, scars, and grizzled whiskers, worn by +ministers, priests, dandies, and grim old commanders.--So many +faces, O ye gods! and every one of them lies! So many tongues, +vowing devotion and respectful love to the great king in his six- +inch wig; and only poor La Valliere's amongst them all which had a +word of truth for the dull ears of Louis of Bourbon. + + +* They made a Jesuit of him on his death-bed. + +** Saint Simon's account of Lauzun, in disgrace, is admirably +facetious and pathetic; Lauzun's regrets are as monstrous as those +of Raleigh when deprived of the sight of his adorable Queen and +Mistress, Elizabeth. + + +"Quand j'aurai de la peine aux Carmelites," says unhappy Louise, +about to retire from these magnificent courtiers and their grand +Galerie des Glaces, "je me souviendrai de ce que ces gens la m'ont +fait souffrir!"--A troop of Bossuets inveighing against the +vanities of courts could not preach such an affecting sermon. What +years of anguish and wrong had the poor thing suffered, before +these sad words came from her gentle lips! How these courtiers +have bowed and flattered, kissed the ground on which she trod, +fought to have the honor of riding by her carriage, written +sonnets, and called her goddess; who, in the days of her prosperity, +was kind and beneficent, gentle and compassionate to all; then (on a +certain day, when it is whispered that his Majesty hath cast the +eyes of his gracious affection upon another) behold three thousand +courtiers are at the feet of the new divinity.--"O divine Athenais! +what blockheads have we been to worship any but you.--THAT a +goddess?--a pretty goddess forsooth;--a witch, rather, who, for a +while, kept our gracious monarch blind! Look at her: the woman +limps as she walks; and, by sacred Venus, her mouth stretches almost +to her diamond ear-rings?"* The same tale may be told of many more +deserted mistresses; and fair Athenais de Montespan was to hear it +of herself one day. Meantime, while La Valliere's heart is +breaking, the model of a finished hero is yawning; as, on such +paltry occasions, a finished hero should. LET her heart break: a +plague upon her tears and repentance; what right has she to repent? +Away with her to her convent. She goes, and the finished hero never +sheds a tear. What a noble pitch of stoicism to have reached! Our +Louis was so great, that the little woes of mean people were beyond +him: his friends died, his mistresses left him; his children, one by +one, were cut off before his eyes, and great Louis is not moved in +the slightest degree! As how, indeed, should a god be moved? + + +* A pair of diamond ear-rings, given by the King to La Valliere, +caused much scandal; and some lampoons are extant, which impugn the +taste of Louis XIV. for loving a lady with such an enormous mouth. + + +I have often liked to think about this strange character in the +world, who moved in it, bearing about a full belief in his own +infallibility; teaching his generals the art of war, his ministers +the science of government, his wits taste, his courtiers dress; +ordering deserts to become gardens, turning villages into palaces +at a breath; and indeed the august figure of the man, as he towers +upon his throne, cannot fail to inspire one with respect and awe:-- +how grand those flowing locks appear; how awful that sceptre; how +magnificent those flowing robes! In Louis, surely, if in any one, +the majesty of kinghood is represented. + +But a king is not every inch a king, for all the poet may say; and +it is curious to see how much precise majesty there is in that +majestic figure of Ludovicus Rex. In the Frontispiece, we have +endeavored to make the exact calculation. The idea of kingly +dignity is equally strong in the two outer figures; and you see, at +once, that majesty is made out of the wig, the high-heeled shoes, +and cloak, all fleurs-de-lis bespangled. As for the little lean, +shrivelled, paunchy old man, of five feet two, in a jacket and +breeches, there is no majesty in HIM at any rate; and yet he has +just stepped out of that very suit of clothes. Put the wig and +shoes on him, and he is six feet high;--the other fripperies, and +he stands before you majestic, imperial, and heroic! Thus do +barbers and cobblers make the gods that we worship: for do we not +all worship him? Yes; though we all know him to be stupid, +heartless, short, of doubtful personal courage, worship and admire +him we must; and have set up, in our hearts, a grand image of him, +endowed with wit, magnanimity, valor, and enormous heroical +stature. + +And what magnanimous acts are attributed to him! or, rather, how +differently do we view the actions of heroes and common men, and +find that the same thing shall be a wonderful virtue in the former, +which, in the latter, is only an ordinary act of duty. Look at +yonder window of the king's chamber;--one morning a royal cane was +seen whirling out of it, and plumped among the courtiers and guard +of honor below. King Louis had absolutely, and with his own hand, +flung his own cane out of the window, "because," said he, "I won't +demean myself by striking a gentleman!" O miracle of magnanimity! +Lauzun was not caned, because he besought majesty to keep his +promise,--only imprisoned for ten years in Pignerol, along with +banished Fouquet;--and a pretty story is Fouquet's too. + +Out of the window the king's august head was one day thrust, when +old Conde was painfully toiling up the steps of the court below. +"Don't hurry yourself, my cousin," cries magnanimity, "one who has +to carry so many laurels cannot walk fast." At which all the +courtiers, lackeys, mistresses, chamberlains, Jesuits, and +scullions, clasp their hands and burst into tears. Men are +affected by the tale to this very day. For a century and three- +quarters, have not all the books that speak of Versailles, or Louis +Quatorze, told the story?--"Don't hurry yourself, my cousin!" O +admirable king and Christian! what a pitch of condescension is +here, that the greatest king of all the world should go for to say +anything so kind, and really tell a tottering old gentleman, worn +out with gout, age, and wounds, not to walk too fast! + +What a proper fund of slavishness is there in the composition of +mankind, that histories like these should be found to interest and +awe them. Till the world's end, most likely, this story will have +its place in the history-books; and unborn generations will read +it, and tenderly be moved by it. I am sure that Magnanimity went +to bed that night, pleased and happy, intimately convinced that he +had done an action of sublime virtue, and had easy slumbers and +sweet dreams,--especially if he had taken a light supper, and not +too vehemently attacked his en cas de nuit. + +That famous adventure, in which the en cas de nuit was brought into +use, for the sake of one Poquelin alias Moliere;--how often has it +been described and admired? This Poquelin, though king's valet-de- +chambre, was by profession a vagrant; and as such, looked coldly on +by the great lords of the palace, who refused to eat with him. +Majesty hearing of this, ordered his en cas de nuit to be placed on +the table, and positively cut off a wing with his own knife and +fork for Poquelin's use. O thrice happy Jean Baptiste! The king +has actually sat down with him cheek by jowl, had the liver-wing of +a fowl, and given Moliere the gizzard; put his imperial legs under +the same mahogany (sub iisdem trabibus). A man, after such an +honor, can look for little else in this world: he has tasted the +utmost conceivable earthly happiness, and has nothing to do now but +to fold his arms, look up to heaven, and sing "Nunc dimittis" and +die. + +Do not let us abuse poor old Louis on account of this monstrous +pride; but only lay it to the charge of the fools who believed and +worshipped it. If, honest man, he believed himself to be almost a +god, it was only because thousands of people had told him so-- +people only half liars, too; who did, in the depths of their +slavish respect, admire the man almost as much as they said they +did. If, when he appeared in his five-hundred-million coat, as he +is said to have done, before the Siamese ambassadors, the courtiers +began to shade their eyes and long for parasols, as if this +Bourbonic sun was too hot for them; indeed, it is no wonder that he +should believe that there was something dazzling about his person: +he had half a million of eager testimonies to this idea. Who was +to tell him the truth?--Only in the last years of his life did +trembling courtiers dare whisper to him, after much circumlocution, +that a certain battle had been fought at a place called Blenheim, +and that Eugene and Marlborough had stopped his long career of +triumphs. + +"On n'est plus heureux a notre age," says the old man, to one of +his old generals, welcoming Tallard after his defeat; and he +rewards him with honors, as if he had come from a victory. There +is, if you will, something magnanimous in this welcome to his +conquered general, this stout protest against Fate. Disaster +succeeds disaster; armies after armies march out to meet fiery +Eugene and that dogged, fatal Englishman, and disappear in the +smoke of the enemies' cannon. Even at Versailles you may almost +hear it roaring at last; but when courtiers, who have forgotten +their god, now talk of quitting this grand temple of his, old Louis +plucks up heart and will never hear of surrender. All the gold and +silver at Versailles he melts, to find bread for his armies: all +the jewels on his five-hundred-million coat he pawns resolutely; +and, bidding Villars go and make the last struggle but one, +promises, if his general is defeated, to place himself at the head +of his nobles, and die King of France. Indeed, after a man, for +sixty years, has been performing the part of a hero, some of the +real heroic stuff must have entered into his composition, whether +he would or not. When the great Elliston was enacting the part of +King George the Fourth, in the play of "The Coronation," at Drury +Lane, the galleries applauded very loudly his suavity and majestic +demeanor, at which Elliston, inflamed by the popular loyalty (and +by some fermented liquor in which, it is said, he was in the habit +of indulging), burst into tears, and spreading out his arms, +exclaimed: "Bless ye, bless ye, my people!" Don't let us laugh at +his Ellistonian majesty, nor at the people who clapped hands and +yelled "bravo!" in praise of him. The tipsy old manager did really +feel that he was a hero at that moment; and the people, wild with +delight and attachment for a magnificent coat and breeches, surely +were uttering the true sentiments of loyalty: which consists in +reverencing these and other articles of costume. In this fifth +act, then, of his long royal drama, old Louis performed his part +excellently; and when the curtain drops upon him, he lies, dressed +majestically, in a becoming kingly attitude, as a king should. + +The king his successor has not left, at Versailles, half so much +occasion for moralizing; perhaps the neighboring Parc aux Cerfs +would afford better illustrations of his reign. The life of his +great grandsire, the Grand Llama of France, seems to have +frightened Louis the well-beloved; who understood that loneliness +is one of the necessary conditions of divinity, and being of a +jovial, companionable turn, aspired not beyond manhood. Only in +the matter of ladies did he surpass his predecessor, as Solomon did +David. War he eschewed, as his grandfather bade him; and his +simple taste found little in this world to enjoy beyond the mulling +of chocolate and the frying of pancakes. Look, here is the room +called Laboratoire du Roi, where, with his own hands, he made his +mistress's breakfast:--here is the little door through which, from +her apartments in the upper story, the chaste Du Barri came +stealing down to the arms of the weary, feeble, gloomy old man. +But of women he was tired long since, and even pancake-frying had +palled upon him. What had he to do, after forty years of reign;-- +after having exhausted everything? Every pleasure that Dubois +could invent for his hot youth, or cunning Lebel could minister to +his old age, was flat and stale; used up to the very dregs: every +shilling in the national purse had been squeezed out, by Pompadour +and Du Barri and such brilliant ministers of state. He had found +out the vanity of pleasure, as his ancestor had discovered the +vanity of glory: indeed it was high time that he should die. And +die he did; and round his tomb, as round that of his grandfather +before him, the starving people sang a dreadful chorus of curses, +which were the only epitaphs for good or for evil that were raised +to his memory. + +As for the courtiers--the knights and nobles, the unbought grace of +life--they, of course, forgot him in one minute after his death, as +the way is. When the king dies, the officer appointed opens his +chamber window, and calling out into the court below, Le Roi est +mort, breaks his cane, takes another and waves it, exclaiming, vive +le Roi! Straightway all the loyal nobles begin yelling vive le +Roi! and the officer goes round solemnly and sets yonder great +clock in the Cour de Marbre to the hour of the king's death. This +old Louis had solemnly ordained; but the Versailles clock was only +set twice: there was no shouting of Vive le Roi when the successor +of Louis XV. mounted to heaven to join his sainted family. + +Strange stories of the deaths of kings have always been very +recreating and profitable to us: what a fine one is that of the +death of Louis XV., as Madame Campan tells it. One night the +gracious monarch came back ill from Trianon; the disease turned out +to be the small-pox; so violent that ten people of those who had to +enter his chamber caught the infection and died. The whole court +flies from him; only poor old fat Mesdames the King's daughters +persist in remaining at his bedside, and praying for his soul's +welfare. + +On the 10th May, 1774, the whole court had assembled at the +chateau; the oeil de Boeuf was full. The Dauphin had determined to +depart as soon as the king had breathed his last. And it was +agreed by the people of the stables, with those who watched in the +king's room, that a lighted candle should be placed in a window, +and should be extinguished as soon as he had ceased to live. The +candle was put out. At that signal, guards, pages, and squires +mounted on horseback, and everything was made ready for departure. +The Dauphin was with the Dauphiness, waiting together for the news +of the king's demise. AN IMMENSE NOISE, AS IF OF THUNDER, WAS +HEARD IN THE NEXT ROOM; it was the crowd of courtiers, who were +deserting the dead king's apartment, in order to pay their court to +the new power of Louis XVI. Madame de Noailles entered, and was +the first to salute the queen by her title of Queen of France, and +begged their Majesties to quit their apartments, to receive the +princes and great lords of the court desirous to pay their homage +to the new sovereigns. Leaning on her husband's arm, a handkerchief +to her eyes, in the most touching attitude, Marie Antoinette +received these first visits. On quitting the chamber where the dead +king lay, the Duc de Villequier bade M. Anderville, first surgeon of +the king, to open and embalm the body: it would have been certain +death to the surgeon. "I am ready, sir," said he; "but whilst I am +operating, you must hold the head of the corpse: your charge demands +it." The Duke went away without a word, and the body was neither +opened nor embalmed. A few humble domestics and poor workmen +watched by the remains, and performed the last offices to their +master. The surgeons ordered spirits of wine to be poured into the +coffin. + +They huddled the king's body into a post-chaise; and in this +deplorable equipage, with an escort of about forty men, Louis the +well-beloved was carried, in the dead of night, from Versailles to +St. Denis, and then thrown into the tomb of the kings of France! + +If any man is curious, and can get permission, he may mount to the +roof of the palace, and see where Louis XVI. used royally to amuse +himself, by gazing upon the doings of all the townspeople below +with a telescope. Behold that balcony, where, one morning, he, his +queen, and the little Dauphin stood, with Cromwell Grandison +Lafayette by their side, who kissed her Majesty's hand, and +protected her; and then, lovingly surrounded by his people, the +king got into a coach and came to Paris: nor did his Majesty ride +much in coaches after that. + +There is a portrait of the king, in the upper galleries, clothed in +red and gold, riding a fat horse, brandishing a sword, on which the +word "Justice" is inscribed, and looking remarkably stupid and +uncomfortable. You see that the horse will throw him at the very +first fling; and as for the sword, it never was made for such hands +as his, which were good at holding a corkscrew or a carving-knife, +but not clever at the management of weapons of war. Let those pity +him who will: call him saint and martyr if you please; but a martyr +to what principle was he? Did he frankly support either party in +his kingdom, or cheat and tamper with both? He might have escaped; +but he must have his supper: and so his family was butchered and +his kingdom lost, and he had his bottle of Burgundy in comfort at +Varennes. A single charge upon the fatal 10th of August, and the +monarchy might have been his once more; but he is so tender- +hearted, that he lets his friends be murdered before his eyes +almost: or, at least, when he has turned his back upon his duty and +his kingdom, and has skulked for safety into the reporters' box, at +the National Assembly. There were hundreds of brave men who died +that day, and were martyrs, if you will; poor neglected tenth-rate +courtiers, for the most part, who had forgotten old slights and +disappointments, and left their places of safety to come and die, +if need were, sharing in the supreme hour of the monarchy. +Monarchy was a great deal too humane to fight along with these, and +so left them to the pikes of Santerre and the mercy of the men of +the Sections. But we are wandering a good ten miles from +Versailles, and from the deeds which Louis XVI. performed there. + +He is said to have been such a smart journeyman blacksmith, that he +might, if Fate had not perversely placed a crown on his head, have +earned a couple of louis every week by the making of locks and +keys. Those who will may see the workshop where he employed many +useful hours: Madame Elizabeth was at prayers meanwhile; the queen +was making pleasant parties with her ladies. Monsieur the Count +d'Artois was learning to dance on the tight-rope; and Monsieur de +Provence was cultivating l'eloquence du billet and studying his +favorite Horace. It is said that each member of the august family +succeeded remarkably well in his or her pursuits; big Monsieur's +little notes are still cited. At a minuet or syllabub, poor +Antoinette was unrivalled; and Charles, on the tight-rope, was so +graceful and so gentil, that Madame Saqui might envy him. The time +only was out of joint. O cursed spite, that ever such harmless +creatures as these were bidden to right it! + +A walk to the little Trianon is both pleasing and moral: no doubt +the reader has seen the pretty fantastical gardens which environ +it; the groves and temples; the streams and caverns (whither, as +the guide tells you, during the heat of summer, it was the custom +of Marie Antoinette to retire, with her favorite, Madame de +Lamballe): the lake and Swiss village are pretty little toys, +moreover; and the cicerone of the place does not fail to point out +the different cottages which surround the piece of water, and tell +the names of the royal masqueraders who inhabited each. In the +long cottage, close upon the lake, dwelt the Seigneur du Village, +no less a personage than Louis XV.; Louis XVI., the Dauphin, was +the Bailli; near his cottage is that of Monseigneur the Count +d'Artois, who was the Miller; opposite lived the Prince de Conde, +who enacted the part of Gamekeeper (or, indeed, any other role, for +it does not signify much); near him was the Prince de Rohan, who +was the Aumonier; and yonder is the pretty little dairy, which was +under the charge of the fair Marie Antoinette herself. + +I forget whether Monsieur the fat Count of Provence took any share +of this royal masquerading; but look at the names of the other six +actors of the comedy, and it will be hard to find any person for +whom Fate had such dreadful visitations in store. Fancy the party, +in the days of their prosperity, here gathered at Trianon, and +seated under the tall poplars by the lake, discoursing familiarly +together: suppose of a sudden some conjuring Cagliostro of the time +is introduced among them, and foretells to them the woes that are +about to come. "You, Monsieur l'Aumonier, the descendant of a long +line of princes, the passionate admirer of that fair queen who sits +by your side, shall be the cause of her ruin and your own,* and +shall die in disgrace and exile. You, son of the Condes, shall +live long enough to see your royal race overthrown, and shall die +by the hands of a hangman.** You, oldest son of Saint Louis, shall +perish by the executioner's axe; that beautiful head, O Antoinette, +the same ruthless blade shall sever." "They shall kill me first," +says Lamballe, at the queen's side. "Yes, truly," replies the +soothsayer, "for Fate prescribes ruin for your mistress and all who +love her."*** "And," cries Monsieur d'Artois, "do I not love my +sister, too? I pray you not to omit me in your prophecies." + + +* In the diamond-necklace affair. + +** He was found hanging in his own bedroom. + +*** Among the many lovers that rumor gave to the queen, poor Ferscu +is the most remarkable. He seems to have entertained for her a +high and perfectly pure devotion. He was the chief agent in the +luckless escape to Varennes; was lurking in Paris during the time +of her captivity; and was concerned in the many fruitless plots +that were made for her rescue. Ferscu lived to be an old man, but +died a dreadful and violent death. He was dragged from his +carriage by the mob, in Stockholm, and murdered by them. + + +To whom Monsieur Cagliostro says, scornfully, "You may look forward +to fifty years of life, after most of these are laid in the grave. +You shall be a king, but not die one; and shall leave the crown +only; not the worthless head that shall wear it. Thrice shall you +go into exile: you shall fly from the people, first, who would have +no more of you and your race; and you shall return home over half a +million of human corpses, that have been made for the sake of you, +and of a tyrant as great as the greatest of your family. Again +driven away, your bitterest enemy shall bring you back. But the +strong limbs of France are not to be chained by such a paltry yoke +as you can put on her: you shall be a tyrant, but in will only; and +shall have a sceptre, but to see it robbed from your hand." + +"And pray, Sir Conjurer, who shall be the robber?" asked Monsieur +the Count d'Artois. + + +This I cannot say, for here my dream ended. The fact is, I had +fallen asleep on one of the stone benches in the Avenue de Paris, +and at this instant was awakened by a whirling of carriages and a +great clattering of national guards, lancers and outriders, in red. +His MAJESTY LOUIS PHILIPPE was going to pay a visit to the palace; +which contains several pictures of his own glorious actions, and +which has been dedicated, by him, to all the glories of France. + + + + + +End of Project Gutenberg Etext The Paris Sketch Book, by W. M. Thackeray + |