diff options
Diffstat (limited to 'old/2768.txt')
| -rw-r--r-- | old/2768.txt | 12432 |
1 files changed, 12432 insertions, 0 deletions
diff --git a/old/2768.txt b/old/2768.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..c060399 --- /dev/null +++ b/old/2768.txt @@ -0,0 +1,12432 @@ +The Project Gutenberg EBook of The Paris Sketch Book Of Mr. M. A. Titmarsh, by +William Makepeace Thackeray + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: The Paris Sketch Book Of Mr. M. A. Titmarsh + +Author: William Makepeace Thackeray + +Posting Date: December 6, 2008 [EBook #2768] +Release Date: August, 2001 + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ASCII + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK PARIS SKETCH BOOK *** + + + + +Produced by Donald Lainson + + + + + +THE PARIS SKETCH BOOK OF MR. M. A. TITMARSH + +By William Makepeace Thackeray + + +Estes And Lauriat, Boston, Publishers + + + +CONTENTS. + + + THE PARIS SKETCH BOOK. + + An Invasion of France + + A Caution to Travellers + + The Fetes of July + + On the French School of Painting + + The Painter's Bargain + + Cartouche + + On some French Fashionable Novels + + A Gambler's Death + + Napoleon and his System + + The Story of Mary Ancel + + Beatrice Merger + + Caricatures and Lithography in Paris + + Little Poinsinet + + The Devil's Wager + + Madame Sand and the new Apocalypse + + The Case of Peytel + + Four Imitations of Beranger + + French Dramas and Melodramas + + Meditations at Versailles + + + + +DEDICATORY LETTER + +TO + +M. ARETZ, TAILOR, ETC. + +27, RUE RICHELIEU, PARIS. + + +SIR,--It becomes every man in his station to acknowledge and praise +virtue wheresoever he may find it, and to point it out for the +admiration and example of his fellow-men. + +Some months since, when you presented to the writer of these pages a +small account for coats and pantaloons manufactured by you, and when you +were met by a statement from your creditor, that an immediate settlement +of your bill would be extremely inconvenient to him; your reply +was, "Mon Dieu, Sir, let not that annoy you; if you want money, as a +gentleman often does in a strange country, I have a thousand-franc note +at my house which is quite at your service." + +History or experience, Sir, makes us acquainted with so few actions +that can be compared to yours,--an offer like this from a stranger and +a tailor seems to me so astonishing,--that you must pardon me for thus +making your virtue public, and acquainting the English nation with your +merit and your name. Let me add, Sir, that you live on the first floor; +that your clothes and fit are excellent, and your charges moderate and +just; and, as a humble tribute of my admiration, permit me to lay these +volumes at your feet. + +Your obliged, faithful servant, + +M. A. TITMARSH. + + + + +ADVERTISEMENT TO THE FIRST EDITION. + + +About half of the sketches in these volumes have already appeared in +print, in various periodical works. A part of the text of one tale, and +the plots of two others, have been borrowed from French originals; the +other stories, which are, in the main, true, have been written upon +facts and characters that came within the Author's observation during a +residence in Paris. + +As the remaining papers relate to public events which occurred during +the same period, or to Parisian Art and Literature, he has ventured to +give his publication the title which it bears. + +LONDON, July 1, 1840. + + + + +AN INVASION OF FRANCE. + + +"Caesar venit in Galliam summa diligentia." + + +About twelve o'clock, just as the bell of the packet is tolling a +farewell to London Bridge, and warning off the blackguard-boys with the +newspapers, who have been shoving Times, Herald, Penny Paul-Pry, Penny +Satirist, Flare-up, and other abominations, into your face--just as +the bell has tolled, and the Jews, strangers, people-taking-leave-of +their families, and blackguard-boys aforesaid, are making a rush for the +narrow plank which conducts from the paddle-box of the "Emerald" +steamboat unto the quay--you perceive, staggering down Thames Street, +those two hackney-coaches, for the arrival of which you have been +praying, trembling, hoping, despairing, swearing--sw--, I beg your +pardon, I believe the word is not used in polite company--and +transpiring, for the last half-hour. Yes, at last, the two coaches draw +near, and from thence an awful number of trunks, children, carpet-bags, +nursery-maids, hat-boxes, band-boxes, bonnet-boxes, desks, cloaks, and +an affectionate wife, are discharged on the quay. + +"Elizabeth, take care of Miss Jane," screams that worthy woman, who has +been for a fortnight employed in getting this tremendous body of troops +and baggage into marching order. "Hicks! Hicks! for heaven's sake mind +the babies!"--"George--Edward, sir, if you go near that porter with the +trunk, he will tumble down and kill you, you naughty boy!--My love, DO +take the cloaks and umbrellas, and give a hand to Fanny and Lucy; and +I wish you would speak to the hackney-coachmen, dear, they want fifteen +shillings, and count the packages, love--twenty-seven packages,--and +bring little Flo; where's little Flo?--Flo! Flo!"--(Flo comes sneaking +in; she has been speaking a few parting words to a one-eyed terrier, +that sneaks off similarly, landward.) + +As when the hawk menaces the hen-roost, in like manner, when such a +danger as a voyage menaces a mother, she becomes suddenly endowed with a +ferocious presence of mind, and bristling up and screaming in the +front of her brood, and in the face of circumstances, succeeds, by her +courage, in putting her enemy to flight; in like manner you will always, +I think, find your wife (if that lady be good for twopence) shrill, +eager, and ill-humored, before, and during a great family move of +this nature. Well, the swindling hackney-coachmen are paid, the mother +leading on her regiment of little ones, and supported by her auxiliary +nurse-maids, are safe in the cabin;--you have counted twenty-six of the +twenty-seven parcels, and have them on board, and that horrid man on +the paddle-box, who, for twenty minutes past, has been roaring out, NOW, +SIR!--says, NOW, SIR, no more. + +I never yet knew how a steamer began to move, being always too busy +among the trunks and children, for the first half-hour, to mark any of +the movements of the vessel. When these private arrangements are +made, you find yourself opposite Greenwich (farewell, sweet, sweet +whitebait!), and quiet begins to enter your soul. Your wife smiles for +the first time these ten days; you pass by plantations of ship-masts, +and forests of steam-chimneys; the sailors are singing on board the +ships, the bargees salute you with oaths, grins, and phrases facetious +and familiar; the man on the paddle-box roars, "Ease her, stop her!" +which mysterious words a shrill voice from below repeats, and pipes +out, "Ease her, stop her!" in echo; the deck is crowded with groups of +figures, and the sun shines over all. + +The sun shines over all, and the steward comes up to say, "Lunch, ladies +and gentlemen! Will any lady or gentleman please to take anythink?" +About a dozen do: boiled beef and pickles, and great red raw Cheshire +cheese, tempt the epicure: little dumpy bottles of stout are produced, +and fizz and bang about with a spirit one would never have looked for in +individuals of their size and stature. + +The decks have a strange, look; the people on them, that is. Wives, +elderly stout husbands, nurse-maids, and children predominate, of +course, in English steamboats. Such may be considered as the distinctive +marks of the English gentleman at three or four and forty: two or three +of such groups have pitched their camps on the deck. Then there are a +number of young men, of whom three or four have allowed their moustaches +to BEGIN to grow since last Friday; for they are going "on the +Continent," and they look, therefore, as if their upper lips were +smeared with snuff. + +A danseuse from the opera is on her way to Paris. Followed by her bonne +and her little dog, she paces the deck, stepping out, in the real dancer +fashion, and ogling all around. How happy the two young Englishmen are, +who can speak French, and make up to her: and how all criticise her +points and paces! Yonder is a group of young ladies, who are going +to Paris to learn how to be governesses: those two splendidly dressed +ladies are milliners from the Rue Richelieu, who have just brought over, +and disposed of, their cargo of Summer fashions. Here sits the Rev. Mr. +Snodgrass with his pupils, whom he is conducting to his establishment, +near Boulogne, where, in addition to a classical and mathematical +education (washing included), the young gentlemen have the benefit of +learning French among THE FRENCH THEMSELVES. Accordingly, the young +gentlemen are locked up in a great rickety house, two miles from +Boulogne and never see a soul, except the French usher and the cook. + +Some few French people are there already, preparing to be ill--(I never +shall forget a dreadful sight I once had in the little dark, dirty, +six-foot cabin of a Dover steamer. Four gaunt Frenchmen, but for their +pantaloons, in the costume of Adam in Paradise, solemnly anointing +themselves with some charm against sea-sickness!)--a few Frenchmen are +there, but these, for the most part, and with a proper philosophy, go to +the fore-cabin of the ship, and you see them on the fore-deck (is that +the name for that part of the vessel which is in the region of the +bowsprit?) lowering in huge cloaks and caps; snuffy, wretched, pale, +and wet; and not jabbering now, as their wont is on shore. I never could +fancy the Mounseers formidable at sea. + +There are, of course, many Jews on board. Who ever travelled by +steamboat, coach, diligence, eilwagen, vetturino, mule-back, or sledge, +without meeting some of the wandering race? + +By the time these remarks have been made the steward is on the deck +again, and dinner is ready: and about two hours after dinner comes +tea; and then there is brandy-and-water, which he eagerly presses as +a preventive against what may happen; and about this time you pass +the Foreland, the wind blowing pretty fresh; and the groups on deck +disappear, and your wife, giving you an alarmed look, descends, with her +little ones, to the ladies' cabin, and you see the steward and his boys +issuing from their den under the paddle-box, with each a heap of +round tin vases, like those which are called, I believe, in America, +expectoratoons, only these are larger. + + . . . . . . + +The wind blows, the water looks greener and more beautiful than +ever--ridge by ridge of long white rock passes away. "That's Ramsgit," +says the man at the helm; and, presently, "That there's Deal--it's +dreadful fallen off since the war;" and "That's Dover, round that there +pint, only you can't see it." And, in the meantime, the sun has plumped +his hot face into the water, and the moon has shown hers as soon as ever +his back is turned, and Mrs.--(the wife in general,) has brought up +her children and self from the horrid cabin, in which she says it +is impossible to breathe; and the poor little wretches are, by the +officious stewardess and smart steward (expectoratoonifer), accommodated +with a heap of blankets, pillows, and mattresses, in the midst of which +they crawl, as best they may, and from the heaving heap of which are, +during the rest of the voyage, heard occasional faint cries, and sounds +of puking woe! + +Dear, dear Maria! Is this the woman who, anon, braved the jeers and +brutal wrath of swindling hackney-coachmen; who repelled the insolence +of haggling porters, with a scorn that brought down their demands at +least eighteenpence? Is this the woman at whose voice servants tremble; +at the sound of whose steps the nursery, ay, and mayhap the parlor, is +in order? Look at her now, prostrate, prostrate--no strength has she +to speak, scarce power to push to her youngest one--her suffering, +struggling Rosa,--to push to her the--the instrumentoon! + +In the midst of all these throes and agonies, at which all the +passengers, who have their own woes (you yourself--for how can you help +THEM?--you are on your back on a bench, and if you move all is up with +you,) are looking on indifferent--one man there is who has been watching +you with the utmost care, and bestowing on your helpless family the +tenderness that a father denies them. He is a foreigner, and you +have been conversing with him, in the course of the morning, in +French--which, he says, you speak remarkably well, like a native +in fact, and then in English (which, after all, you find is more +convenient). What can express your gratitude to this gentleman for all +his goodness towards your family and yourself--you talk to him, he has +served under the Emperor, and is, for all that, sensible, modest, +and well-informed. He speaks, indeed, of his countrymen almost with +contempt, and readily admits the superiority of a Briton, on the seas +and elsewhere. One loves to meet with such genuine liberality in a +foreigner, and respects the man who can sacrifice vanity to truth. This +distinguished foreigner has travelled much; he asks whither you are +going?--where you stop? if you have a great quantity of luggage on +board?--and laughs when he hears of the twenty-seven packages, and +hopes you have some friend at the custom-house, who can spare you the +monstrous trouble of unpacking that which has taken you weeks to put up. +Nine, ten, eleven, the distinguished foreigner is ever at your side; you +find him now, perhaps, (with characteristic ingratitude,) something of +a bore, but, at least, he has been most tender to the children and their +mamma. At last a Boulogne light comes in sight, (you see it over the +bows of the vessel, when, having bobbed violently upwards, it sinks +swiftly down,) Boulogne harbor is in sight, and the foreigner says,-- + +The distinguished foreigner says, says he--"Sare, eef you af no 'otel, I +sall recommend you, milor, to ze 'Otel Betfort, in ze Quay, sare, close +to the bathing-machines and custom-ha-oose. Good bets and fine garten, +sare; table-d'hote, sare, a cinq heures; breakfast, sare, in French +or English style;--I am the commissionaire, sare, and vill see to your +loggish." + +... Curse the fellow, for an impudent, swindling, sneaking French +humbug!--Your tone instantly changes, and you tell him to go about his +business: but at twelve o'clock at night, when the voyage is over, and +the custom-house business done, knowing not whither to go, with a wife +and fourteen exhausted children, scarce able to stand, and longing for +bed, you find yourself, somehow, in the Hotel Bedford (and you can't be +better), and smiling chambermaids carry off your children to snug beds; +while smart waiters produce for your honor--a cold fowl, say, and a +salad, and a bottle of Bordeaux and Seltzer-water. + + . . . . . . + +The morning comes--I don't know a pleasanter feeling than that of waking +with the sun shining on objects quite new, and (although you have made +the voyage a dozen times,) quite strange. Mrs. X. and you occupy a very +light bed, which has a tall canopy of red "percale;" the windows are +smartly draped with cheap gaudy calicoes and muslins; there are little +mean strips of carpet about the tiled floor of the room, and yet all +seems as gay and as comfortable as may be--the sun shines brighter than +you have seen it for a year, the sky is a thousand times bluer, and +what a cheery clatter of shrill quick French voices comes up from the +court-yard under the windows! Bells are jangling; a family, mayhap, is +going to Paris, en poste, and wondrous is the jabber of the courier, the +postilion, the inn-waiters, and the lookers-on. The landlord calls +out for "Quatre biftecks aux pommes pour le trente-trois,"--(O my +countrymen, I love your tastes and your ways!)--the chambermaid is +laughing and says, "Finissez donc, Monsieur Pierre!" (what can they be +about?)--a fat Englishman has opened his window violently, and says, +"Dee dong, garsong, vooly voo me donny lo sho, ou vooly voo pah?" He has +been ringing for half an hour--the last energetic appeal succeeds, and +shortly he is enabled to descend to the coffee-room, where, with three +hot rolls, grilled ham, cold fowl, and four boiled eggs, he makes what +he calls his first FRENCH breakfast. + +It is a strange, mongrel, merry place, this town of Boulogne; the +little French fishermen's children are beautiful, and the little French +soldiers, four feet high, red-breeched, with huge pompons on their caps, +and brown faces, and clear sharp eyes, look, for all their littleness, +far more military and more intelligent than the heavy louts one has seen +swaggering about the garrison towns in England. Yonder go a crowd of +bare-legged fishermen; there is the town idiot, mocking a woman who is +screaming "Fleuve du Tage," at an inn-window, to a harp, and there are +the little gamins mocking HIM. Lo! these seven young ladies, with red +hair and green veils, they are from neighboring Albion, and going +to bathe. Here comes three Englishmen, habitues evidently of the +place,--dandy specimens of our countrymen: one wears a marine dress, +another has a shooting dress, a third has a blouse and a pair of +guiltless spurs--all have as much hair on the face as nature or art can +supply, and all wear their hats very much on one side. Believe me, there +is on the face of this world no scamp like an English one, no blackguard +like one of these half-gentlemen, so mean, so low, so vulgar,--so +ludicrously ignorant and conceited, so desperately heartless and +depraved. + +But why, my dear sir, get into a passion?--Take things coolly. As the +poet has observed, "Those only is gentlemen who behave as sich;" with +such, then, consort, be they cobblers or dukes. Don't give us, cries the +patriotic reader, any abuse of our fellow-countrymen (anybody else +can do that), but rather continue in that good-humored, facetious, +descriptive style with which your letter has commenced.--Your remark, +sir, is perfectly just, and does honor to your head and excellent heart. + +There is little need to give a description of the good town of Boulogne, +which, haute and basse, with the new light-house and the new harbor, and +the gas-lamps, and the manufactures, and the convents, and the number +of English and French residents, and the pillar erected in honor of the +grand Armee d'Angleterre, so called because it DIDN'T go to England, +have all been excellently described by the facetious Coglan, the learned +Dr. Millingen, and by innumerable guide-books besides. A fine thing it +is to hear the stout old Frenchmen of Napoleon's time argue how that +audacious Corsican WOULD have marched to London, after swallowing Nelson +and all his gun-boats, but for cette malheureuse guerre d'Espagne and +cette glorieuse campagne d'Autriche, which the gold of Pitt caused to be +raised at the Emperor's tail, in order to call him off from the helpless +country in his front. Some Frenchmen go farther still, and vow that +in Spain they were never beaten at all; indeed, if you read in the +Biographie des Hommes du Jour, article "Soult," you will fancy that, +with the exception of the disaster at Vittoria, the campaigns in Spain +and Portugal were a series of triumphs. Only, by looking at a map, it +is observable that Vimeiro is a mortal long way from Toulouse, where, +at the end of certain years of victories, we somehow find the honest +Marshal. And what then?--he went to Toulouse for the purpose of beating +the English there, to be sure;--a known fact, on which comment would be +superfluous. However, we shall never get to Paris at this rate; let us +break off further palaver, and away at once.... + +(During this pause, the ingenious reader is kindly requested to pay +his bill at the Hotel at Boulogne, to mount the Diligence of Laffitte, +Caillard and Company, and to travel for twenty-five hours, amidst much +jingling of harness-bells and screaming of postilions.) + + . . . . . . + +The French milliner, who occupies one of the corners, begins to remove +the greasy pieces of paper which have enveloped her locks during the +journey. She withdraws the "Madras" of dubious hue which has bound her +head for the last five-and-twenty hours, and replaces it by the black +velvet bonnet, which, bobbing against your nose, has hung from the +Diligence roof since your departure from Boulogne. The old lady in the +opposite corner, who has been sucking bonbons, and smells dreadfully +of anisette, arranges her little parcels in that immense basket of +abominations which all old women carry in their laps. She rubs her mouth +and eyes with her dusty cambric handkerchief, she ties up her nightcap +into a little bundle, and replaces it by a more becoming head-piece, +covered with withered artificial flowers, and crumpled tags of ribbon; +she looks wistfully at the company for an instant, and then places her +handkerchief before her mouth:--her eyes roll strangely about for an +instant, and you hear a faint clattering noise: the old lady has been +getting ready her teeth, which had lain in her basket among the +bonbons, pins, oranges, pomatum, bits of cake, lozenges, prayer-books, +peppermint-water, copper money, and false hair--stowed away there during +the voyage. The Jewish gentleman, who has been so attentive to +the milliner during the journey, and is a traveller and bagman by +profession, gathers together his various goods. The sallow-faced English +lad, who has been drunk ever since we left Boulogne yesterday, and is +coming to Paris to pursue the study of medicine, swears that he rejoices +to leave the cursed Diligence, is sick of the infernal journey, and +d--d glad that the d--d voyage is so nearly over. "Enfin!" says your +neighbor, yawning, and inserting an elbow into the mouth of his right +and left hand companion, "nous voila." + +NOUS VOILA!--We are at Paris! This must account for the removal of the +milliner's curl-papers, and the fixing of the old lady's teeth.--Since +the last relais, the Diligence has been travelling with extraordinary +speed. The postilion cracks his terrible whip, and screams shrilly. The +conductor blows incessantly on his horn, the bells of the harness, the +bumping and ringing of the wheels and chains, and the clatter of the +great hoofs of the heavy snorting Norman stallions, have wondrously +increased within this, the last ten minutes; and the Diligence, which +has been proceeding hitherto at the rate of a league in an hour, now +dashes gallantly forward, as if it would traverse at least six miles in +the same space of time. Thus it is, when Sir Robert maketh a speech at +Saint Stephen's--he useth his strength at the beginning, only, and the +end. He gallopeth at the commencement; in the middle he lingers; at the +close, again, he rouses the House, which has fallen asleep; he cracketh +the whip of his satire; he shouts the shout of his patriotism; and, +urging his eloquence to its roughest canter, awakens the sleepers, +and inspires the weary, until men say, What a wondrous orator! What a +capital coach! We will ride henceforth in it, and in no other! + +But, behold us at Paris! The Diligence has reached a rude-looking gate, +or grille, flanked by two lodges; the French Kings of old made their +entry by this gate; some of the hottest battles of the late revolution +were fought before it. At present, it is blocked by carts and peasants, +and a busy crowd of men, in green, examining the packages before they +enter, probing the straw with long needles. It is the Barrier of St. +Denis, and the green men are the customs'-men of the city of Paris. If +you are a countryman, who would introduce a cow into the metropolis, +the city demands twenty-four francs for such a privilege: if you have +a hundredweight of tallow-candles, you must, previously, disburse three +francs: if a drove of hogs, nine francs per whole hog: but upon these +subjects Mr. Bulwer, Mrs. Trollope, and other writers, have already +enlightened the public. In the present instance, after a momentary +pause, one of the men in green mounts by the side of the conductor, and +the ponderous vehicle pursues its journey. + +The street which we enter, that of the Faubourg St. Denis, presents +a strange contrast to the dark uniformity of a London street, where +everything, in the dingy and smoky atmosphere, looks as though it were +painted in India-ink--black houses, black passengers, and black sky. +Here, on the contrary, is a thousand times more life and color. Before +you, shining in the sun, is a long glistening line of GUTTER,--not a +very pleasing object in a city, but in a picture invaluable. On each +side are houses of all dimensions and hues; some but of one story; some +as high as the tower of Babel. From these the haberdashers (and this is +their favorite street) flaunt long strips of gaudy calicoes, which give +a strange air of rude gayety to the street. Milk-women, with a little +crowd of gossips round each, are, at this early hour of morning, selling +the chief material of the Parisian cafe-au-lait. Gay wine-shops, painted +red, and smartly decorated with vines and gilded railings, are filled +with workmen taking their morning's draught. That gloomy-looking +prison on your right is a prison for women; once it was a convent for +Lazarists: a thousand unfortunate individuals of the softer sex now +occupy that mansion: they bake, as we find in the guide-books, the bread +of all the other prisons; they mend and wash the shirts and stockings of +all the other prisoners; they make hooks-and-eyes and phosphorus-boxes, +and they attend chapel every Sunday:--if occupation can help them, sure +they have enough of it. Was it not a great stroke of the legislature +to superintend the morals and linen at once, and thus keep these poor +creatures continually mending?--But we have passed the prison long ago, +and are at the Porte St. Denis itself. + +There is only time to take a hasty glance as we pass: it commemorates +some of the wonderful feats of arms of Ludovicus Magnus, and abounds in +ponderous allegories--nymphs, and river-gods, and pyramids crowned with +fleurs-de-lis; Louis passing over the Rhine in triumph, and the Dutch +Lion giving up the ghost, in the year of our Lord 1672. The Dutch Lion +revived, and overcame the man some years afterwards; but of this fact, +singularly enough, the inscriptions make no mention. Passing, then, +round the gate, and not under it (after the general custom, in respect +of triumphal arches), you cross the boulevard, which gives a glimpse of +trees and sunshine, and gleaming white buildings; then, dashing down the +Rue de Bourbon Villeneuve, a dirty street, which seems interminable, and +the Rue St. Eustache, the conductor gives a last blast on his horn, and +the great vehicle clatters into the court-yard, where the journey is +destined to conclude. + +If there was a noise before of screaming postilions and cracked horns, +it was nothing to the Babel-like clatter which greets us now. We are +in a great court, which Hajji Baba would call the father of Diligences. +Half a dozen other coaches arrive at the same minute--no light affairs, +like your English vehicles, but ponderous machines, containing fifteen +passengers inside, more in the cabriolet, and vast towers of luggage on +the roof: others are loading: the yard is filled with passengers coming +or departing;--bustling porters and screaming commissionaires. These +latter seize you as you descend from your place,--twenty cards are +thrust into your hand, and as many voices, jabbering with inconceivable +swiftness, shriek into your ear, "Dis way, sare; are you for ze' 'Otel +of Rhin?' 'Hotel de l'Amiraute!'--'Hotel Bristol,' sare!--Monsieur, +'l'Hotel de Lille?' Sacr-rrre 'nom de Dieu, laissez passer ce petit, +monsieur! Ow mosh loggish ave you, sare?" + +And now, if you are a stranger in Paris, listen to the words of +Titmarsh.--If you cannot speak a syllable of French, and love English +comfort, clean rooms, breakfasts, and waiters; if you would have +plentiful dinners, and are not particular (as how should you be?) +concerning wine; if, in this foreign country, you WILL have your English +companions, your porter, your friend, and your brandy-and-water--do not +listen to any of these commissioner fellows, but with your best English +accent, shout out boldly, "MEURICE!" and straightway a man will step +forward to conduct you to the Rue de Rivoli. + +Here you will find apartments at any price: a very neat room, for +instance, for three francs daily; an English breakfast of eternal boiled +eggs, or grilled ham; a nondescript dinner, profuse but cold; and a +society which will rejoice your heart. Here are young gentlemen from +the universities; young merchants on a lark; large families of nine +daughters, with fat father and mother; officers of dragoons, and +lawyers' clerks. The last time we dined at "Meurice's" we hobbed and +nobbed with no less a person than Mr. Moses, the celebrated bailiff of +Chancery Lane; Lord Brougham was on his right, and a clergyman's lady, +with a train of white-haired girls, sat on his left, wonderfully taken +with the diamond rings of the fascinating stranger! + +It is, as you will perceive, an admirable way to see Paris, especially +if you spend your days reading the English papers at Galignani's, as +many of our foreign tourists do. + +But all this is promiscuous, and not to the purpose. If,--to continue on +the subject of hotel choosing,--if you love quiet, heavy bills, and +the best table-d'hote in the city, go, O stranger! to the "Hotel des +Princes;" it is close to the Boulevard, and convenient for Frascati's. +The "Hotel Mirabeau" possesses scarcely less attraction; but of this +you will find, in Mr. Bulwer's "Autobiography of Pelham," a faithful and +complete account. "Lawson's Hotel" has likewise its merits, as also the +"Hotel de Lille," which may be described as a "second chop" Meurice. + +If you are a poor student come to study the humanities, or the pleasant +art of amputation, cross the water forthwith, and proceed to the "Hotel +Corneille," near the Odeon, or others of its species; there are many +where you can live royally (until you economize by going into lodgings) +on four francs a day; and where, if by any strange chance you are +desirous for a while to get rid of your countrymen, you will find that +they scarcely ever penetrate. + +But above all, O my countrymen! shun boarding-houses, especially if you +have ladies in your train; or ponder well, and examine the characters of +the keepers thereof, before you lead your innocent daughters, and +their mamma, into places so dangerous. In the first place, you have bad +dinners; and, secondly, bad company. If you play cards, you are very +likely playing with a swindler; if you dance, you dance with a ---- +person with whom you had better have nothing to do. + + +Note (which ladies are requested not to read).--In one of these +establishments, daily advertised as most eligible for English, a friend +of the writer lived. A lady, who had passed for some time as the wife of +one of the inmates, suddenly changed her husband and name, her original +husband remaining in the house, and saluting her by her new title. + + + + +A CAUTION TO TRAVELLERS. + + +A million dangers and snares await the traveller, as soon as he issues +out of that vast messagerie which we have just quitted: and as each man +cannot do better than relate such events as have happened in the course +of his own experience, and may keep the unwary from the path of danger, +let us take this, the very earliest opportunity, of imparting to the +public a little of the wisdom which we painfully have acquired. + +And first, then, with regard to the city of Paris, it is to be remarked, +that in that metropolis flourish a greater number of native and exotic +swindlers than are to be found in any other European nursery. What young +Englishman that visits it, but has not determined, in his heart, to have +a little share of the gayeties that go on--just for once, just to see +what they are like? How many, when the horrible gambling dens were +open, did resist a sight of them?--nay, was not a young fellow rather +flattered by a dinner invitation from the Salon, whither he went, +fondly pretending that he should see "French society," in the persons of +certain Dukes and Counts who used to frequent the place? + +My friend Pogson is a young fellow, not much worse, although perhaps a +little weaker and simpler than his neighbors; and coming to Paris with +exactly the same notions that bring many others of the British youth to +that capital, events befell him there, last winter, which are strictly +true, and shall here be narrated, by way of warning to all. + +Pog, it must be premised, is a city man, who travels in drugs for a +couple of the best London houses, blows the flute, has an album, drives +his own gig, and is considered, both on the road and in the metropolis, +a remarkably nice, intelligent, thriving young man. Pogson's only fault +is too great an attachment to the fair:--"the sex," as he says often +"will be his ruin:" the fact is, that Pog never travels without a "Don +Juan" under his driving-cushion, and is a pretty-looking young fellow +enough. + +Sam Pogson had occasion to visit Paris, last October; and it was in that +city that his love of the sex had liked to have cost him dear. He worked +his way down to Dover; placing, right and left, at the towns on his +route, rhubarb, sodas, and other such delectable wares as his masters +dealt in ("the sweetest sample of castor oil, smelt like a nosegay--went +off like wildfire--hogshead and a half at Rochester, eight-and twenty +gallons at Canterbury," and so on), and crossed to Calais, and thence +voyaged to Paris in the coupe of the Diligence. He paid for two places, +too, although a single man, and the reason shall now be made known. + +Dining at the table-d'hote at "Quillacq's"--it is the best inn on the +Continent of Europe--our little traveller had the happiness to be placed +next to a lady, who was, he saw at a glance, one of the extreme pink of +the nobility. A large lady, in black satin, with eyes and hair as +black as sloes, with gold chains, scent-bottles, sable tippet, worked +pocket-handkerchief, and four twinkling rings on each of her plump white +fingers. Her cheeks were as pink as the finest Chinese rouge could make +them. Pog knew the article: he travelled in it. Her lips were as red as +the ruby lip salve: she used the very best, that was clear. + +She was a fine-looking woman, certainly (holding down her eyes, and +talking perpetually of "mes trente-deux ans"); and Pogson, the wicked +young dog, who professed not to care for young misses, saying they smelt +so of bread-and-butter, declared, at once, that the lady was one of +HIS beauties; in fact, when he spoke to us about her, he said, "She's a +slap-up thing, I tell you; a reg'lar good one; ONE OF MY SORT!" And such +was Pogson's credit in all commercial rooms, that one of HIS sort was +considered to surpass all other sorts. + +During dinner-time, Mr. Pogson was profoundly polite and attentive to +the lady at his side, and kindly communicated to her, as is the way with +the best-bred English on their first arrival "on the Continent," all his +impressions regarding the sights and persons he had seen. Such remarks +having been made during half an hour's ramble about the ramparts and +town, and in the course of a walk down to the custom-house, and a +confidential communication with the commissionaire, must be, doubtless, +very valuable to Frenchmen in their own country; and the lady listened +to Pogson's opinions: not only with benevolent attention, but actually, +she said, with pleasure and delight. Mr. Pogson said that there was +no such thing as good meat in France, and that's why they cooked their +victuals in this queer way; he had seen many soldiers parading about the +place, and expressed a true Englishman's abhorrence of an armed force; +not that he feared such fellows as these--little whipper-snappers--our +men would eat them. Hereupon the lady admitted that our Guards were +angels, but that Monsieur must not be too hard upon the French; "her +father was a General of the Emperor." + +Pogson felt a tremendous respect for himself at the notion that he was +dining with a General's daughter, and instantly ordered a bottle of +champagne to keep up his consequence. + +"Mrs. Bironn, ma'am," said he, for he had heard the waiter call her by +some such name, "if you WILL accept a glass of champagne, ma'am, you'll +do me, I'm sure, great honor: they say it's very good, and a precious +sight cheaper than it is on our side of the way, too--not that I care +for money. Mrs. Bironn, ma'am, your health, ma'am." + +The lady smiled very graciously, and drank the wine. + +"Har you any relation, ma'am, if I may make so bold; har you anyways +connected with the family of our immortal bard?" + +"Sir, I beg your pardon." + +"Don't mention it, ma'am: but BiRONN and BYron are hevidently the same +names, only you pronounce in the French way; and I thought you might be +related to his lordship: his horigin, ma'am, was of French extraction:" +and here Pogson began to repeat,-- + + + "Hare thy heyes like thy mother's, my fair child, + Hada! sole daughter of my 'ouse and 'art?" + + +"Oh!" said the lady, laughing, "you speak of LOR Byron? + +"Hauthor of 'Don Juan,' 'Child 'Arold,' and 'Cain, a Mystery,'" said +Pogson:--"I do; and hearing the waiter calling you Madam la Bironn, took +the liberty of hasking whether you were connected with his lordship; +that's hall:" and my friend here grew dreadfully red, and began +twiddling his long ringlets in his fingers, and examining very eagerly +the contents of his plate. + +"Oh, no: Madame la Baronne means Mistress Baroness; my husband was +Baron, and I am Baroness." + +"What! 'ave I the honor--I beg your pardon, ma'am--is your ladyship a +Baroness, and I not know it? pray excuse me for calling you ma'am." + +The Baroness smiled most graciously--with such a look as Juno cast +upon unfortunate Jupiter when she wished to gain her wicked ends upon +him--the Baroness smiled; and, stealing her hand into a black velvet +bag, drew from it an ivory card-case, and from the ivory card-case +extracted a glazed card, printed in gold; on it was engraved a coronet, +and under the coronet the words + + + BARONNE DE FLORVAL-DELVAL, + + NEE DE MELVAL-NORVAL. + + Rue Taitbout. + + +The grand Pitt diamond--the Queen's own star of the garter--a sample of +otto-of-roses at a guinea a drop, would not be handled more curiously, +or more respectfully, than this porcelain card of the Baroness. +Trembling he put it into his little Russia-leather pocket-book: and +when he ventured to look up, and saw the eyes of the Baroness de +Florval-Delval, nee de Melval-Norval, gazing upon him with friendly and +serene glances, a thrill of pride tingled through Pogson's blood: he +felt himself to be the very happiest fellow "on the Continent." + +But Pogson did not, for some time, venture to resume that sprightly +and elegant familiarity which generally forms the great charm of his +conversation: he was too much frightened at the presence he was in, +and contented himself by graceful and solemn bows, deep attention, +and ejaculations of "Yes, my lady," and "No, your ladyship," for some +minutes after the discovery had been made. Pogson piqued himself on his +breeding: "I hate the aristocracy," he said, "but that's no reason why I +shouldn't behave like a gentleman." + +A surly, silent little gentleman, who had been the third at the +ordinary, and would take no part either in the conversation or in +Pogson's champagne, now took up his hat, and, grunting, left the room, +when the happy bagman had the delight of a tete-a-tete. The Baroness did +not appear inclined to move: it was cold; a fire was comfortable, and +she had ordered none in her apartment. Might Pogson give her one more +glass of champagne, or would her ladyship prefer "something hot." Her +ladyship gravely said, she never took ANYTHING hot. "Some champagne, +then; a leetle drop?" She would! she would! O gods! how Pogson's hand +shook as he filled and offered her the glass! + +What took place during the rest of the evening had better be described +by Mr. Pogson himself, who has given us permission to publish his +letter. + + +"QUILLACQ'S HOTEL (pronounced KILLYAX), CALAIS. + +"DEAR TIT,--I arrived at Cally, as they call it, this day, or, rather, +yesterday; for it is past midnight, as I sit thinking of a wonderful +adventure that has just befallen me. A woman in course; that's always +the case with ME, you know: but oh, Tit! if you COULD but see her! Of +the first family in France, the Florval-Delvals, beautiful as an angel, +and no more caring for money than I do for split peas. + +"I'll tell you how it occurred. Everybody in France, you know, dines at +the ordinary--it's quite distangy to do so. There was only three of us +to-day, however,--the Baroness, me, and a gent, who never spoke a word; +and we didn't want him to, neither: do you mark that? + +"You know my way with the women: champagne's the thing; make 'em drink, +make 'em talk;--make 'em talk, make 'em do anything. So I orders a +bottle, as if for myself; and, 'Ma'am,' says I, 'will you take a glass +of Sham--just one?' Take it she did--for you know it's quite distangy +here: everybody dines at the table de hote, and everybody accepts +everybody's wine. Bob Irons, who travels in linen on our circuit, told +me that he had made some slap-up acquaintances among the genteelest +people at Paris, nothing but by offering them Sham. + +"Well, my Baroness takes one glass, two glasses, three glasses--the old +fellow goes--we have a deal of chat (she took me for a military man, +she said: is it not singular that so many people should?), and by ten +o'clock we had grown so intimate, that I had from her her whole history, +knew where she came from, and where she was going. Leave me alone with +'em: I can find out any woman's history in half an hour. + +"And where do you think she IS going? to Paris to be sure: she has her +seat in what they call the coopy (though you're not near so cooped in it +as in our coaches. I've been to the office and seen one of 'em). She +has her place in the coopy, and the coopy holds THREE; so what does Sam +Pogson do?--he goes and takes the other two. Ain't I up to a thing or +two? Oh, no, not the least; but I shall have her to myself the whole of +the way. + +"We shall be in the French metropolis the day after this reaches you: +please look out for a handsome lodging for me, and never mind the +expense. And I say, if you could, in her hearing, when you came down +to the coach, call me Captain Pogson, I wish you would--it sounds well +travelling, you know; and when she asked me if I was not an officer, I +couldn't say no. Adieu, then, my dear fellow, till Monday, and vive le +joy, as they say. The Baroness says I speak French charmingly, she talks +English as well as you or I. + +"Your affectionate friend, + +"S. Pogson." + + +This letter reached us duly, in our garrets, and we engaged such an +apartment for Mr. Pogson, as beseemed a gentleman of his rank in the +world and the army. At the appointed hour, too, we repaired to the +Diligence office, and there beheld the arrival of the machine which +contained him and his lovely Baroness. + +Those who have much frequented the society of gentlemen of his +profession (and what more delightful?) must be aware, that, when all the +rest of mankind look hideous, dirty, peevish, wretched, after a forty +hours' coach-journey, a bagman appears as gay and spruce as when he +started; having within himself a thousand little conveniences for the +voyage, which common travellers neglect. Pogson had a little portable +toilet, of which he had not failed to take advantage, and with his long, +curling, flaxen hair, flowing under a seal-skin cap, with a gold tassel, +with a blue and gold satin handkerchief, a crimson velvet waistcoat, +a light green cut-away coat, a pair of barred brickdust-colored +pantaloons, and a neat mackintosh, presented, altogether, as elegant and +distingue an appearance as any one could desire. He had put on a clean +collar at breakfast, and a pair of white kids as he entered the barrier, +and looked, as he rushed into my arms, more like a man stepping out of a +band-box, than one descending from a vehicle that has just performed one +of the laziest, dullest, flattest, stalest, dirtiest journeys in Europe. + +To my surprise, there were TWO ladies in the coach with my friend, +and not ONE, as I had expected. One of these, a stout female, carrying +sundry baskets, bags, umbrellas, and woman's wraps, was evidently a +maid-servant: the other, in black, was Pogson's fair one, evidently. +I could see a gleam of curl-papers over a sallow face,--of a dusky +nightcap flapping over the curl-papers,--but these were hidden by a lace +veil and a huge velvet bonnet, of which the crowning birds-of-paradise +were evidently in a moulting state. She was encased in many shawls +and wrappers; she put, hesitatingly, a pretty little foot out of the +carriage--Pogson was by her side in an instant, and, gallantly putting +one of his white kids round her waist, aided this interesting creature +to descend. I saw, by her walk, that she was five-and-forty, and that my +little Pogson was a lost man. + +After some brief parley between them--in which it was charming to hear +how my friend Samuel WOULD speak, what he called French, to a lady +who could not understand one syllable of his jargon--the mutual +hackney-coaches drew up; Madame la Baronne waved to the Captain a +graceful French curtsy. "Adyou!" said Samuel, and waved his lily hand. +"Adyou-addimang." + +A brisk little gentleman, who had made the journey in the same coach +with Pogson, but had more modestly taken a seat in the Imperial, here +passed us, and greeted me with a "How d'ye do?" He had shouldered +his own little valise, and was trudging off, scattering a cloud of +commissionaires, who would fain have spared him the trouble. + +"Do you know that chap?" says Pogson; "surly fellow, ain't he?" + +"The kindest man in existence," answered I; "all the world knows little +Major British." + +"He's a Major, is he?--why, that's the fellow that dined with us at +Killyax's; it's lucky I did not call myself Captain before him, +he mightn't have liked it, you know:" and then Sam fell into a +reverie;--what was the subject of his thoughts soon appeared. + +"Did you ever SEE such a foot and ankle?" said Sam, after sitting for +some time, regardless of the novelty of the scene, his hands in his +pockets, plunged in the deepest thought. + +"ISN'T she a slap-up woman, eh, now?" pursued he; and began enumerating +her attractions, as a horse-jockey would the points of a favorite +animal. + +"You seem to have gone a pretty length already," said I, "by promising +to visit her to-morrow." + +"A good length?--I believe you. Leave ME alone for that." + +"But I thought you were only to be two in the coupe, you wicked rogue." + +"Two in the coopy? Oh! ah! yes, you know--why, that is, I didn't know +she had her maid with her (what an ass I was to think of a noblewoman +travelling without one!) and couldn't, in course, refuse, when she asked +me to let the maid in." + +"Of course not." + +"Couldn't, you know, as a man of honor; but I made up for all that," +said Pogson, winking slyly, and putting his hand to his little bunch of +a nose, in a very knowing way. + +"You did, and how?" + +"Why, you dog, I sat next to her; sat in the middle the whole way, and +my back's half broke, I can tell you:" and thus, having depicted his +happiness, we soon reached the inn where this back-broken young man was +to lodge during his stay in Paris. + +The next day at five we met; Mr. Pogson had seen his Baroness, and +described her lodgings, in his own expressive way, as "slap-up." She +had received him quite like an old friend; treated him to eau sucree, of +which beverage he expressed himself a great admirer; and actually asked +him to dine the next day. But there was a cloud over the ingenuous +youth's brow, and I inquired still farther. + +"Why," said he, with a sigh, "I thought she was a widow; and, hang it! +who should come in but her husband the Baron: a big fellow, sir, with a +blue coat, a red ribbing, and SUCH a pair of mustachios!" + +"Well," said I, "he didn't turn you out, I suppose?" + +"Oh, no! on the contrary, as kind as possible; his lordship said that he +respected the English army; asked me what corps I was in,--said he had +fought in Spain against us,--and made me welcome." + +"What could you want more?" + +Mr. Pogson at this only whistled; and if some very profound observer of +human nature had been there to read into this little bagman's heart, it +would, perhaps, have been manifest, that the appearance of a whiskered +soldier of a husband had counteracted some plans that the young +scoundrel was concocting. + +I live up a hundred and thirty-seven steps in the remote quarter of the +Luxembourg, and it is not to be expected that such a fashionable fellow +as Sam Pogson, with his pockets full of money, and a new city to see, +should be always wandering to my dull quarters; so that, although he +did not make his appearance for some time, he must not be accused of any +luke-warmness of friendship on that score. + +He was out, too, when I called at his hotel; but once, I had the good +fortune to see him, with his hat curiously on one side, looking as +pleased as Punch, and being driven, in an open cab, in the Champs +Elysees. "That's ANOTHER tip-top chap," said he, when we met, at length. +"What do you think of an Earl's son, my boy? Honorable Tom Ringwood, son +of the Earl of Cinqbars: what do you think of that, eh?" + +I thought he was getting into very good society. Sam was a dashing +fellow, and was always above his own line of life; he had met Mr. +Ringwood at the Baron's, and they'd been to the play together; and the +honorable gent, as Sam called him, had joked with him about being well +to do IN A CERTAIN QUARTER; and he had had a game of billiards with the +Baron, at the Estaminy, "a very distangy place, where you smoke," said +Sam; "quite select, and frequented by the tip-top nobility;" and they +were as thick as peas in a shell; and they were to dine that day at +Ringwood's, and sup, the next night, with the Baroness. + +"I think the chaps down the road will stare," said Sam, "when they hear +how I've been coming it." And stare, no doubt, they would; for it +is certain that very few commercial gentlemen have had Mr. Pogson's +advantages. + +The next morning we had made an arrangement to go out shopping together, +and to purchase some articles of female gear, that Sam intended to +bestow on his relations when he returned. Seven needle-books, for his +sisters; a gilt buckle, for his mamma; a handsome French cashmere shawl +and bonnet, for his aunt (the old lady keeps an inn in the Borough, +and has plenty of money, and no heirs); and a toothpick case, for his +father. Sam is a good fellow to all his relations, and as for his aunt, +he adores her. Well, we were to go and make these purchases, and I +arrived punctually at my time; but Sam was stretched on a sofa, very +pale and dismal. + +I saw how it had been.--"A little too much of Mr. Ringwood's claret, I +suppose?" + +He only gave a sickly stare. + +"Where does the Honorable Tom live?" says I. + +"HONORABLE!" says Sam, with a hollow, horrid laugh; "I tell you, Tit, +he's no more Honorable than you are." + +"What, an impostor?" + +"No, no; not that. He is a real Honorable, only--" + +"Oh, ho! I smell a rat--a little jealous, eh?" + +"Jealousy be hanged! I tell you he's a thief; and the Baron's a thief; +and, hang me, if I think his wife is any better. Eight-and-thirty pounds +he won of me before supper; and made me drunk, and sent me home:--is +THAT honorable? How can I afford to lose forty pounds? It's took me two +years to save it up--if my old aunt gets wind of it, she'll cut me off +with a shilling: hang me!"--and here Sam, in an agony, tore his fair +hair. + +While bewailing his lot in this lamentable strain, his bell was +rung, which signal being answered by a surly "Come in," a tall, very +fashionable gentleman, with a fur coat, and a fierce tuft to his chin, +entered the room. "Pogson my buck, how goes it?" said he, familiarly, +and gave a stare at me: I was making for my hat. + +"Don't go," said Sam, rather eagerly; and I sat down again. + +The Honorable Mr. Ringwood hummed and ha'd: and, at last, said he wished +to speak to Mr. Pogson on business, in private, if possible. + +"There's no secrets betwixt me and my friend," cried Sam. + +Mr. Ringwood paused a little:--"An awkward business that of last night," +at length exclaimed he. + +"I believe it WAS an awkward business," said Sam, dryly. + +"I really am very sorry for your losses." + +"Thank you: and so am I, I can tell you," said Sam. + +"You must mind, my good fellow, and not drink; for, when you drink, you +WILL play high: by Gad, you led US in, and not we you." + +"I dare say," answered Sam, with something of peevishness; "losses is +losses: there's no use talking about 'em when they're over and paid." + +"And paid?" here wonderingly spoke Mr. Ringwood; "why, my dear fel--what +the deuce--has Florval been with you?" + +"D---- Florval!" growled Sam, "I've never set eyes on his face since +last night; and never wish to see him again." + +"Come, come, enough of this talk; how do you intend to settle the bills +which you gave him last night?" + +"Bills I what do you mean?" + +"I mean, sir, these bills," said the Honorable Tom, producing two out of +his pocket-book, and looking as stern as a lion. "'I promise to pay, on +demand, to the Baron de Florval, the sum of four hundred pounds. October +20, 1838.' 'Ten days after date I promise to pay the Baron de et caetera +et caetera, one hundred and ninety-eight pounds. Samuel Pogson.' You +didn't say what regiment you were in." + +"WHAT!" shouted poor Sam, as from a dream, starting up and looking +preternaturally pale and hideous. + +"D---- it, sir, you don't affect ignorance: you don't pretend not to +remember that you signed these bills, for money lost in my rooms: money +LENT to you, by Madame de Florval, at your own request, and lost to her +husband? You don't suppose, sir, that I shall be such an infernal idiot +as to believe you, or such a coward as to put up with a mean subterfuge +of this sort. Will you, or will you not, pay the money, sir?" + +"I will not," said Sam, stoutly; "it's a d----d swin--" + +Here Mr. Ringwood sprung up, clenching his riding-whip, and looking so +fierce that Sam and I bounded back to the other end of the room. "Utter +that word again, and, by heaven, I'll murder you!" shouted Mr. Ringwood, +and looked as if he would, too: "once more, will you, or will you not, +pay this money?" + +"I can't," said Sam faintly. + +"I'll call again, Captain Pogson," said Mr. Ringwood, "I'll call again +in one hour; and, unless you come to some arrangement, you must meet +my friend, the Baron de Florval, or I'll post you for a swindler and +a coward." With this he went out: the door thundered to after him, and +when the clink of his steps departing had subsided, I was enabled to +look round at Pog. The poor little man had his elbows on the marble +table, his head between his hands, and looked, as one has seen gentlemen +look over a steam-vessel off Ramsgate, the wind blowing remarkably +fresh: at last he fairly burst out crying. + +"If Mrs. Pogson heard of this," said I, "what would become of the 'Three +Tuns?'" (for I wished to give him a lesson). "If your Ma, who took you +every Sunday to meeting, should know that her boy was paying attention +to married women;--if Drench, Glauber and Co., your employers, were +to know that their confidential agent was a gambler, and unfit to be +trusted with their money, how long do you think your connection would +last with them, and who would afterwards employ you?" + +To this poor Pog had not a word of answer; but sat on his sofa +whimpering so bitterly, that the sternest of moralists would have +relented towards him, and would have been touched by the little wretch's +tears. Everything, too, must be pleaded in excuse for this unfortunate +bagman: who, if he wished to pass for a captain, had only done so +because he had an intense respect and longing for rank: if he had +made love to the Baroness, had only done so because he was given to +understand by Lord Byron's "Don Juan" that making love was a very +correct, natty thing: and if he had gambled, had only been induced to +do so by the bright eyes and example of the Baron and the Baroness. O +ye Barons and Baronesses of England! if ye knew what a number of small +commoners are daily occupied in studying your lives, and imitating your +aristocratic ways, how careful would ye be of your morals, manners, and +conversation! + +My soul was filled, then, with a gentle yearning pity for Pogson, +and revolved many plans for his rescue: none of these seeming to be +practicable, at last we hit on the very wisest of all, and determined to +apply for counsel to no less a person than Major British. + +A blessing it is to be acquainted with my worthy friend, little Major +British; and heaven, sure, it was that put the Major into my head, when +I heard of this awkward scrape of poor Fog's. The Major is on half-pay, +and occupies a modest apartment au quatrieme, in the very hotel which +Pogson had patronized at my suggestion; indeed, I had chosen it from +Major British's own peculiar recommendation. + +There is no better guide to follow than such a character as the +honest Major, of whom there are many likenesses now scattered over the +Continent of Europe: men who love to live well, and are forced to +live cheaply, and who find the English abroad a thousand times easier, +merrier, and more hospitable than the same persons at home. I, for my +part, never landed on Calais pier without feeling that a load of sorrows +was left on the other side of the water; and have always fancied that +black care stepped on board the steamer, along with the custom-house +officers at Gravesend, and accompanied one to yonder black louring +towers of London--so busy, so dismal, and so vast. + +British would have cut any foreigner's throat who ventured to say so +much, but entertained, no doubt, private sentiments of this nature; for +he passed eight months of the year, regularly, abroad, with headquarters +at Paris (the garrets before alluded to), and only went to England for +the month's shooting, on the grounds of his old colonel, now an old +lord, of whose acquaintance the Major was passably inclined to boast. + +He loved and respected, like a good staunch Tory as he is, every one +of the English nobility; gave himself certain little airs of a man of +fashion, that were by no means disagreeable; and was, indeed, kindly +regarded by such English aristocracy as he met, in his little annual +tours among the German courts, in Italy or in Paris, where he never +missed an ambassador's night: he retailed to us, who didn't go, but were +delighted to know all that had taken place, accurate accounts of the +dishes, the dresses, and the scandal which had there fallen under his +observation. + +He is, moreover, one of the most useful persons in society that can +possibly be; for besides being incorrigibly duelsome on his own account, +he is, for others, the most acute and peaceable counsellor in the world, +and has carried more friends through scrapes and prevented more deaths +than any member of the Humane Society. British never bought a single +step in the army, as is well known. In '14 he killed a celebrated French +fire-eater, who had slain a young friend of his, and living, as he +does, a great deal with young men of pleasure, and good old sober family +people, he is loved by them both and has as welcome a place made for +him at a roaring bachelor's supper at the "Cafe Anglais," as at a staid +dowager's dinner-table in the Faubourg St. Honore. Such pleasant old +boys are very profitable acquaintances, let me tell you; and lucky is +the young man who has one or two such friends in his list. + +Hurrying on Fogson in his dress, I conducted him, panting, up to the +Major's quatrieme, where we were cheerfully bidden to come in. The +little gentleman was in his travelling jacket, and occupied in +painting, elegantly, one of those natty pairs of boots in which he daily +promenaded the Boulevards. A couple of pairs of tough buff gloves had +been undergoing some pipe-claying operation under his hands; no man +stepped out so spick and span, with a hat so nicely brushed, with a +stiff cravat tied so neatly under a fat little red face, with a blue +frock-coat so scrupulously fitted to a punchy little person, as Major +British, about whom we have written these two pages. He stared rather +hardly at my companion, but gave me a kind shake of the hand, and we +proceeded at once to business. "Major British," said I, "we want your +advice in regard to an unpleasant affair which has just occurred to my +friend Pogson." + +"Pogson, take a chair." + +"You must know, sir, that Mr. Pogson, coming from Calais the other day, +encountered, in the diligence, a very handsome woman." + +British winked at Pogson, who, wretched as he was, could not help +feeling pleased. + +"Mr. Pogson was not more pleased with this lovely creature than was she +with him; for, it appears, she gave him her card, invited him to her +house, where he has been constantly, and has been received with much +kindness." + +"I see," says British. + +"Her husband the Baron--" + +"NOW it's coming," said the Major, with a grin: "her husband is jealous, +I suppose, and there is a talk of the Bois de Boulogne: my dear sir, you +can't refuse--can't refuse." + +"It's not that," said Pogson, wagging his head passionately. + +"Her husband the Baron seemed quite as much taken with Pogson as his +lady was, and has introduced him to some very distingue friends of his +own set. Last night one of the Baron's friends gave a party in honor +of my friend Pogson, who lost forty-eight pounds at cards BEFORE he was +made drunk, and heaven knows how much after." + +"Not a shilling, by sacred heaven!--not a shilling!" yelled out Pogson. +"After the supper I 'ad such an 'eadach', I couldn't do anything but +fall asleep on the sofa." + +"You 'ad such an 'eadach', sir," says British, sternly, who piques +himself on his grammar and pronunciation, and scorns a cockney. + +"Such a H-eadache, sir," replied Pogson, with much meekness. + +"The unfortunate man is brought home at two o'clock, as tipsy as +possible, dragged up stairs, senseless, to bed, and, on waking, receives +a visit from his entertainer of the night before--a lord's son, Major, +a tip-top fellow,--who brings a couple of bills that my friend Pogson is +said to have signed." + +"Well, my dear fellow, the thing's quite simple,--he must pay them." + +"I can't pay them." + +"He can't pay them," said we both in a breath: "Pogson is a commercial +traveller, with thirty shillings a week, and how the deuce is he to pay +five hundred pounds?" + +"A bagman, sir! and what right has a bagman to gamble? Gentlemen gamble, +sir; tradesmen, sir, have no business with the amusements of the gentry. +What business had you with barons and lords' sons, sir?--serve you +right, sir." + +"Sir," says Pogson, with some dignity, "merit, and not birth, is the +criterion of a man: I despise an hereditary aristocracy, and admire only +Nature's gentlemen. For my part, I think that a British merch--" + +"Hold your tongue, sir," bounced out the Major, "and don't lecture +me; don't come to me, sir, with your slang about Nature's +gentlemen--Nature's tomfools, sir! Did Nature open a cash account for +you at a banker's, sir? Did Nature give you an education, sir? What do +you mean by competing with people to whom Nature has given all these +things? Stick to your bags, Mr. Pogson, and your bagmen, and leave +barons and their like to their own ways." + +"Yes, but, Major," here cried that faithful friend, who has always stood +by Pogson; "they won't leave him alone." + +"The honorable gent says I must fight if I don't pay," whimpered Sam. + +"What! fight YOU? Do you mean that the honorable gent, as you call him, +will go out with a bagman?" + +"He doesn't know I'm a--I'm a commercial man," blushingly said Sam: "he +fancies I'm a military gent." + +The Major's gravity was quite upset at this absurd notion; and he +laughed outrageously. "Why, the fact is, sir," said I, "that my +friend Pogson, knowing the value of the title of Captain, and being +complimented by the Baroness on his warlike appearance, said, boldly, +he was in the army. He only assumed the rank in order to dazzle her weak +imagination, never fancying that there was a husband, and a circle of +friends, with whom he was afterwards to make an acquaintance; and then, +you know, it was too late to withdraw." + +"A pretty pickle you have put yourself in, Mr. Pogson, by making love to +other men's wives, and calling yourself names," said the Major, who was +restored to good humor. "And pray, who is the honorable gent?" + +"The Earl of Cinqbars' son," says Pogson, "the Honorable Tom Ringwood." + +"I thought it was some such character; and the Baron is the Baron de +Florval-Delval?" + +"The very same." + +"And his wife a black-haired woman, with a pretty foot and ankle; calls +herself Athenais; and is always talking about her trente-deux ans? Why, +sir, that woman was an actress on the Boulevard, when we were here in +'15. She's no more his wife than I am. Delval's name is Chicot. The +woman is always travelling between London and Paris: I saw she was +hooking you at Calais; she has hooked ten men, in the course of the last +two years, in this very way. She lent you money, didn't she?" "Yes." +"And she leans on your shoulder, and whispers, 'Play half for me,' and +somebody wins it, and the poor thing is as sorry as you are, and her +husband storms and rages, and insists on double stakes; and she leans +over your shoulder again, and tells every card in your hand to your +adversary, and that's the way it's done, Mr. Pogson." + +"I've been 'AD, I see I 'ave," said Pogson, very humbly. + +"Well, sir," said the Major, "in consideration, not of you, sir--for, +give me leave to tell you, Mr. Pogson, that you are a pitiful little +scoundrel--in consideration for my Lord Cinqbars, sir, with whom, I am +proud to say, I am intimate," (the Major dearly loved a lord, and was, +by his own showing, acquainted with half the peerage,) "I will aid you +in this affair. Your cursed vanity, sir, and want of principle, has set +you, in the first place, intriguing with other men's wives; and if you +had been shot for your pains, a bullet would have only served you right, +sir. You must go about as an impostor, sir, in society; and you pay +richly for your swindling, sir, by being swindled yourself: but, as +I think your punishment has been already pretty severe, I shall do my +best, out of regard for my friend, Lord Cinqbars, to prevent the matter +going any farther; and I recommend you to leave Paris without delay. Now +let me wish you a good morning."--Wherewith British made a majestic bow, +and began giving the last touch to his varnished boots. + +We departed: poor Sam perfectly silent and chapfallen; and I meditating +on the wisdom of the half-pay philosopher, and wondering what means he +would employ to rescue Pogson from his fate. + +What these means were I know not; but Mr. Ringwood did NOT make his +appearance at six; and, at eight, a letter arrived for "Mr. Pogson, +commercial traveller," &c. &c. It was blank inside, but contained his +two bills. Mr. Ringwood left town, almost immediately, for Vienna; nor +did the Major explain the circumstances which caused his departure; but +he muttered something about "knew some of his old tricks," "threatened +police, and made him disgorge directly." + +Mr. Ringwood is, as yet, young at his trade; and I have often thought it +was very green of him to give up the bills to the Major, who, certainly, +would never have pressed the matter before the police, out of respect +for his friend, Lord Cinqbars. + + + + +THE FETES OF JULY. + +IN A LETTER TO THE EDITOR OF THE "BUNGAY BEACON." + + +PARIS, July 30th, 1839. + +We have arrived here just in time for the fetes of July.--You have +read, no doubt, of that glorious revolution which took place +here nine years ago, and which is now commemorated annually, +in a pretty facetious manner, by gun-firing, student-processions, +pole-climbing-for-silver-spoons, gold-watches and legs-of-mutton, +monarchical orations, and what not, and sanctioned, moreover, by +Chamber-of-Deputies, with a grant of a couple of hundred thousand +francs to defray the expenses of all the crackers, gun-firings, and +legs-of-mutton aforesaid. There is a new fountain in the Place Louis +Quinze, otherwise called the Place Louis Seize, or else the Place de la +Revolution, or else the Place de la Concorde (who can say why?)--which, +I am told, is to run bad wine during certain hours to-morrow, and there +WOULD have been a review of the National Guards and the Line--only, +since the Fieschi business, reviews are no joke, and so this latter part +of the festivity has been discontinued. + +Do you not laugh, O Pharos of Bungay, at the continuance of a humbug +such as this?--at the humbugging anniversary of a humbug? The King +of the Barricades is, next to the Emperor Nicholas, the most absolute +Sovereign in Europe; yet there is not in the whole of this fair kingdom +of France a single man who cares sixpence about him, or his dynasty: +except, mayhap, a few hangers-on at the Chateau, who eat his dinners, +and put their hands in his purse. The feeling of loyalty is as dead as +old Charles the Tenth; the Chambers have been laughed at, the country +has been laughed at, all the successive ministries have been laughed +at (and you know who is the wag that has amused himself with them all); +and, behold, here come three days at the end of July, and cannons +think it necessary to fire off, squibs and crackers to blaze and fizz, +fountains to run wine, kings to make speeches, and subjects to crawl +up greasy mats-de-cocagne in token of gratitude and rejouissance +publique!--My dear sir, in their aptitude to swallow, to utter, to enact +humbugs, these French people, from Majesty downwards, beat all the other +nations of this earth. In looking at these men, their manners, dresses, +opinions, politics, actions, history, it is impossible to preserve a +grave countenance; instead of having Carlyle to write a History of the +French Revolution, I often think it should be handed over to Dickens +or Theodore Hook: and oh! where is the Rabelais to be the faithful +historian of the last phase of the Revolution--the last glorious nine +years of which we are now commemorating the last glorious three days? + +I had made a vow not to say a syllable on the subject, although I have +seen, with my neighbors, all the gingerbread stalls down the Champs +Elysees, and some of the "catafalques" erected to the memory of the +heroes of July, where the students and others, not connected personally +with the victims, and not having in the least profited by their deaths, +come and weep; but the grief shown on the first day is quite as absurd +and fictitious as the joy exhibited on the last. The subject is one +which admits of much wholesome reflection and food for mirth; and, +besides, is so richly treated by the French themselves, that it would +be a sin and a shame to pass it over. Allow me to have the honor +of translating, for your edification, an account of the first day's +proceedings--it is mighty amusing, to my thinking. + + +"CELEBRATION OF THE DAYS OF JULY. + +"To-day (Saturday), funeral ceremonies, in honor of the victims of July, +were held in the various edifices consecrated to public worship. + +"These edifices, with the exception of some churches (especially that +of the Petits-Peres), were uniformly hung with black on the outside; the +hangings bore only this inscription: 27, 28, 29 July, 1830--surrounded +by a wreath of oak-leaves. + +"In the interior of the Catholic churches, it had only been thought +proper to dress LITTLE CATAFALQUES, as for burials of the third and +fourth class. Very few clergy attended; but a considerable number of the +National Guard. + +"The Synagogue of the Israelites was entirely hung with black; and a +great concourse of people attended. The service was performed with the +greatest pomp. + +"In the Protestant temples there was likewise a very full attendance: +APOLOGETICAL DISCOURSES on the Revolution of July were pronounced by the +pastors. + +"The absence of M. de Quelen (Archbishop of Paris), and of many members +of the superior clergy, was remarked at Notre Dame. + +"The civil authorities attended service in their several districts. + +"The poles, ornamented with tri-colored flags, which formerly were +placed on Notre Dame, were, it was remarked, suppressed. The flags +on the Pont Neuf were, during the ceremony, only half-mast high, and +covered with crape." + +Et caetera, et caetera, et caetera. + +"The tombs of the Louvre were covered with black hangings, and adorned +with tri-colored flags. In front and in the middle was erected an +expiatory monument of a pyramidical shape, and surmounted by a funeral +vase. + +"These tombs were guarded by the MUNICIPAL GUARD, THE TROOPS OF THE +LINE, THE SERGENS DE VILLE (town patrol), AND A BRIGADE OF AGENTS OF +POLICE IN PLAIN CLOTHES, under the orders of peace-officer Vassal. + +"Between eleven and twelve o'clock, some young men, to the number of +400 or 500, assembled on the Place de la Bourse, one of them bearing a +tri-colored banner with an inscription, 'TO THE MANES OF JULY:' ranging +themselves in order, they marched five abreast to the Marche des +Innocens. On their arrival, the Municipal Guards of the Halle aux +Draps, where the post had been doubled, issued out without arms, and the +town-sergeants placed themselves before the market to prevent the entry +of the procession. The young men passed in perfect order, and without +saying a word--only lifting their hats as they defiled before the tombs. +When they arrived at the Louvre they found the gates shut, and the +garden evacuated. The troops were under arms, and formed in battalion. + +"After the passage of the procession, the Garden was again open to the +public." + +And the evening and the morning were the first day. + +There's nothing serious in mortality: is there, from the beginning +of this account to the end thereof, aught but sheer, open, monstrous, +undisguised humbug? I said, before, that you should have a history of +these people by Dickens or Theodore Hook, but there is little need of +professed wags;--do not the men write their own tale with an admirable +Sancho-like gravity and naivete, which one could not desire improved? +How good is that touch of sly indignation about the LITTLE CATAFALQUES! +how rich the contrast presented by the economy of the Catholics to the +splendid disregard of expense exhibited by the devout Jews! and how +touching the "APOLOGETICAL DISCOURSES on the Revolution," delivered +by the Protestant pastors! Fancy the profound affliction of the Gardes +Municipaux, the Sergens de Ville, the police agents in plain clothes, +and the troops with fixed bayonets, sobbing round the "expiatory +monuments of a pyramidical shape, surmounted by funeral vases," and +compelled, by sad duty, to fire into the public who might wish to +indulge in the same woe! O "manes of July!" (the phrase is pretty and +grammatical) why did you with sharp bullets break those Louvre windows? +Why did you bayonet red-coated Swiss behind that fair white facade, +and, braving cannon, musket, sabre, perspective guillotine, burst yonder +bronze gates, rush through that peaceful picture-gallery, and hurl +royalty, loyalty, and a thousand years of Kings, head-over-heels out of +yonder Tuileries' windows? + +It is, you will allow, a little difficult to say:--there is, however, +ONE benefit that the country has gained (as for liberty of press, or +person, diminished taxation, a juster representation, who ever thinks +of them?)--ONE benefit they have gained, or nearly--abolition de la +peine-de-mort pour delit politique: no more wicked guillotining for +revolutions. A Frenchman must have his revolution--it is his nature to +knock down omnibuses in the street, and across them to fire at troops +of the line--it is a sin to balk it. Did not the King send off +Revolutionary Prince Napoleon in a coach-and-four? Did not the jury, +before the face of God and Justice, proclaim Revolutionary Colonel +Vaudrey not guilty?--One may hope, soon, that if a man shows decent +courage and energy in half a dozen emeutes, he will get promotion and a +premium. + +I do not (although, perhaps, partial to the subject,) want to talk more +nonsense than the occasion warrants, and will pray you to cast your eyes +over the following anecdote, that is now going the round of the papers, +and respects the commutation of the punishment of that wretched, +fool-hardy Barbes, who, on his trial, seemed to invite the penalty which +has just been remitted to him. You recollect the braggart's speech: +"When the Indian falls into the power of the enemy, he knows the fate +that awaits him, and submits his head to the knife:--I am the Indian!" + +"Well--" + +"M. Hugo was at the Opera on the night the sentence of the Court +of Peers, condemning Barbes to death, was published. The great poet +composed the following verses:-- + + + 'Par votre ange envolee, ainsi qu'une colombe, + Par le royal enfant, doux et frele roseau, + Grace encore une fois! Grace au nom de la tombe! + Grace au nom du berceau!'* + + +"M. Victor Hugo wrote the lines out instantly on a sheet of paper, which +he folded, and simply despatched them to the King of the French by the +penny-post. + +"That truly is a noble voice, which can at all hours thus speak to the +throne. Poetry, in old days, was called the language of the Gods--it is +better named now--it is the language of the Kings. + +"But the clemency of the King had anticipated the letter of the Poet. +His Majesty had signed the commutation of Barbes, while the poet was +still writing. + +"Louis Philippe replied to the author of 'Ruy Blas' most graciously, +that he had already subscribed to a wish so noble, and that the verses +had only confirmed his previous disposition to mercy." + + + * Translated for the benefit of country gentlemen:-- + + "By your angel flown away just like a dove, + By the royal infant, that frail and tender reed, + Pardon yet once more! Pardon in the name of the tomb! + Pardon in the name of the cradle!" + + +Now in countries where fools most abound, did one ever read of more +monstrous, palpable folly? In any country, save this, would a poet who +chose to write four crack-brained verses, comparing an angel to a dove, +and a little boy to a reed, and calling upon the chief magistrate, in +the name of the angel, or dove (the Princess Mary), in her tomb, and +the little infant in his cradle, to spare a criminal, have received a +"gracious answer" to his nonsense? Would he have ever despatched the +nonsense? and would any journalist have been silly enough to talk of +"the noble voice that could thus speak to the throne," and the noble +throne that could return such a noble answer to the noble voice? You get +nothing done here gravely and decently. Tawdry stage tricks are played, +and braggadocio claptraps uttered, on every occasion, however sacred +or solemn: in the face of death, as by Barbes with his hideous Indian +metaphor; in the teeth of reason, as by M. Victor Hugo with his +twopenny-post poetry; and of justice, as by the King's absurd reply +to this absurd demand! Suppose the Count of Paris to be twenty times a +reed, and the Princess Mary a host of angels, is that any reason why the +law should not have its course? Justice is the God of our lower world, +our great omnipresent guardian: as such it moves, or should move on +majestic, awful, irresistible, having no passions--like a God: but, in +the very midst of the path across which it is to pass, lo! M. Victor +Hugo trips forward, smirking, and says, O divine Justice! I will trouble +you to listen to the following trifling effusion of mine:-- + + + Par votre ange envolee, ainsi qu'une," &c. + + +Awful Justice stops, and, bowing gravely, listens to M. Hugo's verses, +and, with true French politeness, says, "Mon cher Monsieur, these verses +are charming, ravissans, delicieux, and, coming from such a celebrite +litteraire as yourself, shall meet with every possible attention--in +fact, had I required anything to confirm my own previous opinions, this +charming poem would have done so. Bon jour, mon cher Monsieur Hugo, au +revoir!"--and they part:--Justice taking off his hat and bowing, and the +author of "Ruy Blas" quite convinced that he has been treating with him +d'egal en egal. I can hardly bring my mind to fancy that anything is +serious in France--it seems to be all rant, tinsel, and stage-play. Sham +liberty, sham monarchy, sham glory, sham justice,--ou diable donc la +verite va-t-elle se nicher? + + . . . . . . + +The last rocket of the fete of July has just mounted, exploded, made a +portentous bang, and emitted a gorgeous show of blue lights, and then +(like many reputations) disappeared totally: the hundredth gun on the +Invalid terrace has uttered its last roar--and a great comfort it is for +eyes and ears that the festival is over. We shall be able to go about +our everyday business again, and not be hustled by the gendarmes or the +crowd. + +The sight which I have just come away from is as brilliant, happy, and +beautiful as can be conceived; and if you want to see French people to +the greatest advantage, you should go to a festival like this, where +their manners, and innocent gayety, show a very pleasing contrast to the +coarse and vulgar hilarity which the same class would exhibit in our +own country--at Epsom racecourse, for instance, or Greenwich Fair. The +greatest noise that I heard was that of a company of jolly villagers +from a place in the neighborhood of Paris, who, as soon as the fireworks +were over, formed themselves into a line, three or four abreast, and so +marched singing home. As for the fireworks, squibs and crackers are very +hard to describe, and very little was to be seen of them: to me, the +prettiest sight was the vast, orderly, happy crowd, the number of +children, and the extraordinary care and kindness of the parents towards +these little creatures. It does one good to see honest, heavy epiciers, +fathers of families, playing with them in the Tuileries, or, as +to-night, bearing them stoutly on their shoulders, through many long +hours, in order that the little ones too may have their share of the +fun. John Bull, I fear, is more selfish: he does not take Mrs. Bull to +the public-house; but leaves her, for the most part, to take care of the +children at home. + +The fete, then, is over; the pompous black pyramid at the Louvre is only +a skeleton now; all the flags have been miraculously whisked away during +the night, and the fine chandeliers which glittered down the Champs +Elysees for full half a mile, have been consigned to their dens and +darkness. Will they ever be reproduced for other celebrations of the +glorious 29th of July?--I think not; the Government which vowed that +there should be no more persecutions of the press, was, on that very +29th, seizing a Legitimist paper, for some real or fancied offence +against it: it had seized, and was seizing daily, numbers of persons +merely suspected of being disaffected (and you may fancy how liberty is +understood, when some of these prisoners, the other day, on coming to +trial, were found guilty and sentenced to ONE day's imprisonment, after +THIRTY-SIX DAYS' DETENTION ON SUSPICION). I think the Government +which follows such a system, cannot be very anxious about any farther +revolutionary fetes, and that the Chamber may reasonably refuse to vote +more money for them. Why should men be so mighty proud of having, on a +certain day, cut a certain number of their fellow-countrymen's throats? +The Guards and the Line employed this time nine years did no more than +those who cannonaded the starving Lyonnese, or bayoneted the luckless +inhabitants of the Rue Transnounain:--they did but fulfil the soldier's +honorable duty:--his superiors bid him kill and he killeth:--perhaps, +had he gone to his work with a little more heart, the result would have +been different, and then--would the conquering party have been justified +in annually rejoicing over the conquered? Would we have thought Charles +X. justified in causing fireworks to be blazed, and concerts to be sung, +and speeches to be spouted, in commemoration of his victory over his +slaughtered countrymen?--I wish for my part they would allow the people +to go about their business as on the other 362 days of the year, +and leave the Champs Elysees free for the omnibuses to run, and the +Tuileries' in quiet, so that the nurse-maids might come as usual, and +the newspapers be read for a halfpenny apiece. + +Shall I trouble you with an account of the speculations of these latter, +and the state of the parties which they represent? The complication +is not a little curious, and may form, perhaps, a subject of graver +disquisition. The July fetes occupy, as you may imagine, a considerable +part of their columns just now, and it is amusing to follow them one by +one; to read Tweedledum's praise, and Tweedledee's indignation--to read, +in the Debats how the King was received with shouts and loyal vivats--in +the Nation, how not a tongue was wagged in his praise, but, on the +instant of his departure, how the people called for the "Marseillaise" +and applauded THAT.--But best say no more about the fete. The +Legitimists were always indignant at it. The high Philippist party +sneers at and despises it; the Republicans hate it: it seems a joke +against THEM. Why continue it?--If there be anything sacred in the name +and idea of loyalty, why renew this fete? It only shows how a rightful +monarch was hurled from his throne, and a dexterous usurper stole his +precious diadem. If there be anything noble in the memory of a day, when +citizens, unused to war, rose against practised veterans, and, armed +with the strength of their cause, overthrew them, why speak of it now? +or renew the bitter recollections of the bootless struggle and victory? +O Lafayette! O hero of two worlds! O accomplished Cromwell Grandison! +you have to answer for more than any mortal man who has played a part in +history: two republics and one monarchy does the world owe to you; and +especially grateful should your country be to you. Did you not, in '90, +make clear the path for honest Robespierre, and in '30, prepare the way +for-- + + . . . . . . + +[The Editor of the Bungay Beacon would insert no more of this letter, +which is, therefore, for ever lost to the public.] + + + + +ON THE FRENCH SCHOOL OF PAINTING: + +WITH APPROPRIATE ANECDOTES, ILLUSTRATIONS, AND PHILOSOPHICAL +DISQUISITIONS. + + +IN A LETTER TO MR. MACGILP, OF LONDON. + + +The three collections of pictures at the Louvre, the Luxembourg, and the +Ecole des Beaux Arts, contain a number of specimens of French art, since +its commencement almost, and give the stranger a pretty fair opportunity +to study and appreciate the school. The French list of painters contains +some very good names--no very great ones, except Poussin (unless the +admirers of Claude choose to rank him among great painters),--and I +think the school was never in so flourishing a condition as it is at +the present day. They say there are three thousand artists in this town +alone: of these a handsome minority paint not merely tolerably, but +well understand their business: draw the figure accurately; sketch with +cleverness; and paint portraits, churches, or restaurateurs' shops, in a +decent manner. + +To account for a superiority over England which, I think, as regards +art, is incontestable--it must be remembered that the painter's trade, +in France, is a very good one; better appreciated, better understood, +and, generally, far better paid than with us. There are a dozen +excellent schools which a lad may enter here, and, under the eye of a +practised master, learn the apprenticeship of his art at an expense +of about ten pounds a year. In England there is no school except the +Academy, unless the student can afford to pay a very large sum, and +place himself under the tuition of some particular artist. Here, a young +man, for his ten pounds, has all sorts of accessory instruction, models, +&c.; and has further, and for nothing, numberless incitements to study +his profession which are not to be found in England:--the streets are +filled with picture-shops, the people themselves are pictures walking +about; the churches, theatres, eating-houses, concert-rooms are covered +with pictures: Nature itself is inclined more kindly to him, for the sky +is a thousand times more bright and beautiful, and the sun shines for +the greater part of the year. Add to this, incitements more selfish, +but quite as powerful: a French artist is paid very handsomely; for five +hundred a year is much where all are poor; and has a rank in society +rather above his merits than below them, being caressed by hosts and +hostesses in places where titles are laughed at and a baron is thought +of no more account than a banker's clerk. + +The life of the young artist here is the easiest, merriest, dirtiest +existence possible. He comes to Paris, probably at sixteen, from his +province; his parents settle forty pounds a year on him, and pay his +master; he establishes himself in the Pays Latin, or in the new quarter +of Notre Dame de Lorette (which is quite peopled with painters); he +arrives at his atelier at a tolerably early hour, and labors among a +score of companions as merry and poor as himself. Each gentleman has his +favorite tobacco-pipe; and the pictures are painted in the midst of a +cloud of smoke, and a din of puns and choice French slang, and a roar of +choruses, of which no one can form an idea who has not been present at +such an assembly. + +You see here every variety of coiffure that has ever been known. Some +young men of genius have ringlets hanging over their shoulders--you may +smell the tobacco with which they are scented across the street; some +have straight locks, black, oily, and redundant; some have toupets in +the famous Louis-Philippe fashion; some are cropped close; some have +adopted the present mode--which he who would follow must, in order to do +so, part his hair in the middle, grease it with grease, and gum it with +gum, and iron it flat down over his ears; when arrived at the ears, +you take the tongs and make a couple of ranges of curls close round the +whole head,--such curls as you may see under a gilt three-cornered hat, +and in her Britannic Majesty's coachman's state wig. + +This is the last fashion. As for the beards, there is no end of them; +all my friends the artists have beards who can raise them; and Nature, +though she has rather stinted the bodies and limbs of the French nation, +has been very liberal to them of hair, as you may see by the following +specimen. Fancy these heads and beards under all sorts of caps--Chinese +caps, Mandarin caps, Greek skull-caps, English jockey-caps, Russian or +Kuzzilbash caps, Middle-age caps (such as are called, in heraldry, caps +of maintenance), Spanish nets, and striped worsted nightcaps. Fancy all +the jackets you have ever seen, and you have before you, as well as pen +can describe, the costumes of these indescribable Frenchmen. + +In this company and costume the French student of art passes his days +and acquires knowledge; how he passes his evenings, at what theatres, at +what guinguettes, in company with what seducing little milliner, +there is no need to say; but I knew one who pawned his coat to go to a +carnival ball, and walked abroad very cheerfully in his blouse for six +weeks, until he could redeem the absent garment. + +These young men (together with the students of sciences) comport +themselves towards the sober citizen pretty much as the German bursch +towards the philister, or as the military man, during the empire, did +to the pekin:--from the height of their poverty they look down upon +him with the greatest imaginable scorn--a scorn, I think, by which the +citizen seems dazzled, for his respect for the arts is intense. The case +is very different in England, where a grocer's daughter would think she +made a misalliance by marrying a painter, and where a literary man (in +spite of all we can say against it) ranks below that class of gentry +composed of the apothecary, the attorney, the wine-merchant, whose +positions, in country towns at least, are so equivocal. As, for +instance, my friend the Rev. James Asterisk, who has an undeniable +pedigree, a paternal estate, and a living to boot, once dined in +Warwickshire, in company with several squires and parsons of that +enlightened county. Asterisk, as usual, made himself extraordinarily +agreeable at dinner, and delighted all present with his learning and +wit. "Who is that monstrous pleasant fellow?" said one of the squires. +"Don't you know?" replied another. "It's Asterisk, the author of +so-and-so, and a famous contributor to such and such a magazine." "Good +heavens!" said the squire, quite horrified! "a literary man! I thought +he had been a gentleman!" + +Another instance: M. Guizot, when he was Minister here, had the grand +hotel of the Ministry, and gave entertainments to all the great de par +le monde, as Brantome says, and entertained them in a proper ministerial +magnificence. The splendid and beautiful Duchess of Dash was at one of +his ministerial parties; and went, a fortnight afterwards, as in duty +bound, to pay her respects to M. Guizot. But it happened, in this +fortnight, that M. Guizot was Minister no longer; having given up his +portfolio, and his grand hotel, to retire into private life, and to +occupy his humble apartments in the house which he possesses, and of +which he lets the greater portion. A friend of mine was present at +one of the ex-Minister's soirees, where the Duchess of Dash made +her appearance. He says the Duchess, at her entrance, seemed quite +astounded, and examined the premises with a most curious wonder. Two or +three shabby little rooms, with ordinary furniture, and a Minister en +retraite, who lives by letting lodgings! In our country was ever such a +thing heard of? No, thank heaven! and a Briton ought to be proud of the +difference. + +But to our muttons. This country is surely the paradise of painters +and penny-a-liners; and when one reads of M. Horace Vernet at Rome, +exceeding ambassadors at Rome by his magnificence, and leading such a +life as Rubens or Titian did of old; when one sees M. Thiers's grand +villa in the Rue St. George (a dozen years ago he was not even a +penny-a-liner: no such luck); when one contemplates, in imagination, M. +Gudin, the marine painter, too lame to walk through the picture-gallery +of the Louvre, accommodated, therefore, with a wheel-chair, a privilege +of princes only, and accompanied--nay, for what I know, actually +trundled--down the gallery by majesty itself--who does not long to make +one of the great nation, exchange his native tongue for the melodious +jabber of France; or, at least, adopt it for his native country, like +Marshal Saxe, Napoleon, and Anacharsis Clootz? Noble people! they made +Tom Paine a deputy; and as for Tom Macaulay, they would make a DYNASTY +of him. + +Well, this being the case, no wonder there are so many painters in +France; and here, at least, we are back to them. At the Ecole Royale +des Beaux Arts, you see two or three hundred specimens of their +performances; all the prize-men, since 1750, I think, being bound to +leave their prize sketch or picture. Can anything good come out of +the Royal Academy? is a question which has been considerably mooted in +England (in the neighborhood of Suffolk Street especially). The hundreds +of French samples are, I think, not very satisfactory. The subjects are +almost all what are called classical: Orestes pursued by every variety +of Furies; numbers of little wolf-sucking Romuluses; Hectors and +Andromaches in a complication of parting embraces, and so forth; for it +was the absurd maxim of our forefathers, that because these subjects had +been the fashion twenty centuries ago, they must remain so in saecula +saeculorum; because to these lofty heights giants had scaled, behold the +race of pigmies must get upon stilts and jump at them likewise! and on +the canvas, and in the theatre, the French frogs (excuse the pleasantry) +were instructed to swell out and roar as much as possible like bulls. + +What was the consequence, my dear friend? In trying to make themselves +into bulls, the frogs make themselves into jackasses, as might be +expected. For a hundred and ten years the classical humbug oppressed +the nation; and you may see, in this gallery of the Beaux Arts, seventy +years' specimens of the dulness which it engendered. + +Now, as Nature made every man with a nose and eyes of his own, she gave +him a character of his own too; and yet we, O foolish race! must try our +very best to ape some one or two of our neighbors, whose ideas fit us +no more than their breeches! It is the study of nature, surely, that +profits us, and not of these imitations of her. A man, as a man, from a +dustman up to AEschylus, is God's work, and good to read, as all works of +Nature are: but the silly animal is never content; is ever trying to fit +itself into another shape; wants to deny its own identity, and has not +the courage to utter its own thoughts. Because Lord Byron was wicked, +and quarrelled with the world; and found himself growing fat, and +quarrelled with his victuals, and thus, naturally, grew ill-humored, did +not half Europe grow ill-humored too? Did not every poet feel his +young affections withered, and despair and darkness cast upon his soul? +Because certain mighty men of old could make heroical statues and +plays, must we not be told that there is no other beauty but classical +beauty?--must not every little whipster of a French poet chalk you out +plays, "Henriades," and such-like, and vow that here was the real thing, +the undeniable Kalon? + +The undeniable fiddlestick! For a hundred years, my dear sir, the world +was humbugged by the so-called classical artists, as they now are by +what is called the Christian art (of which anon); and it is curious to +look at the pictorial traditions as here handed down. The consequence +of them is, that scarce one of the classical pictures exhibited is worth +much more than two-and-sixpence. Borrowed from statuary, in the first +place, the color of the paintings seems, as much as possible, to +participate in it; they are mostly of a misty, stony green, dismal hue, +as if they had been painted in a world where no color was. In every +picture, there are, of course, white mantles, white urns, white columns, +white statues--those oblige accomplishments of the sublime. There are +the endless straight noses, long eyes, round chins, short upper lips, +just as they are ruled down for you in the drawing-books, as if the +latter were the revelations of beauty, issued by supreme authority, from +which there was no appeal? Why is the classical reign to endure? Why is +yonder simpering Venus de' Medicis to be our standard of beauty, or the +Greek tragedies to bound our notions of the sublime? There was no reason +why Agamemnon should set the fashions, and remain [Greek text omitted] +to eternity: and there is a classical quotation, which you may have +occasionally heard, beginning Vixere fortes, &c., which, as it avers +that there were a great number of stout fellows before Agamemnon, may +not unreasonably induce us to conclude that similar heroes were to +succeed him. Shakspeare made a better man when his imagination +moulded the mighty figure of Macbeth. And if you will measure Satan by +Prometheus, the blind old Puritan's work by that of the fiery Grecian +poet, does not Milton's angel surpass AEschylus's--surpass him by "many a +rood?" + +In the same school of the Beaux Arts, where are to be found such a +number of pale imitations of the antique, Monsieur Thiers (and he ought +to be thanked for it) has caused to be placed a full-sized copy of "The +Last Judgment" of Michel Angelo, and a number of casts from statues +by the same splendid hand. There IS the sublime, if you please--a new +sublime--an original sublime--quite as sublime as the Greek sublime. See +yonder, in the midst of his angels, the Judge of the world descending in +glory; and near him, beautiful and gentle, and yet indescribably august +and pure, the Virgin by his side. There is the "Moses," the grandest +figure that ever was carved in stone. It has about it something +frightfully majestic, if one may so speak. In examining this, and the +astonishing picture of "The Judgment," or even a single figure of it, +the spectator's sense amounts almost to pain. I would not like to be +left in a room alone with the "Moses." How did the artist live amongst +them, and create them? How did he suffer the painful labor of invention? +One fancies that he would have been scorched up, like Semele, by sights +too tremendous for his vision to bear. One cannot imagine him, with our +small physical endowments and weaknesses, a man like ourselves. + +As for the Ecole Royale des Beaux Arts, then, and all the good its +students have done, as students, it is stark naught. When the men did +anything, it was after they had left the academy, and began thinking for +themselves. There is only one picture among the many hundreds that has, +to my idea, much merit (a charming composition of Homer singing, signed +Jourdy); and the only good that the Academy has done by its pupils was +to send them to Rome, where they might learn better things. At home, the +intolerable, stupid classicalities, taught by men who, belonging to the +least erudite country in Europe, were themselves, from their profession, +the least learned among their countrymen, only weighed the pupils down, +and cramped their hands, their eyes, and their imaginations; drove them +away from natural beauty, which, thank God, is fresh and attainable by +us all, to-day, and yesterday, and to-morrow; and sent them rambling +after artificial grace, without the proper means of judging or attaining +it. + +A word for the building of the Palais des Beaux Arts. It is beautiful, +and as well finished and convenient as beautiful. With its light and +elegant fabric, its pretty fountain, its archway of the Renaissance, and +fragments of sculpture, you can hardly see, on a fine day, a place more +riant and pleasing. + +Passing from thence up the picturesque Rue de Seine, let us walk to the +Luxembourg, where bonnes, students, grisettes, and old gentlemen with +pigtails, love to wander in the melancholy, quaint old gardens; where +the peers have a new and comfortable court of justice, to judge all the +emeutes which are to take place; and where, as everybody knows, is the +picture-gallery of modern French artists, whom government thinks worthy +of patronage. + +A very great proportion of the pictures, as we see by the catalogue, +are by the students whose works we have just been to visit at the Beaux +Arts, and who, having performed their pilgrimage to Rome, have taken +rank among the professors of the art. I don't know a more pleasing +exhibition; for there are not a dozen really bad pictures in the +collection, some very good, and the rest showing great skill and +smartness of execution. + +In the same way, however, that it has been supposed that no man could be +a great poet unless he wrote a very big poem, the tradition is kept up +among the painters, and we have here a vast number of large canvases, +with figures of the proper heroical length and nakedness. The +anticlassicists did not arise in France until about 1827; and, in +consequence, up to that period, we have here the old classical faith in +full vigor. There is Brutus, having chopped his son's head off, with all +the agony of a father, and then, calling for number two; there is AEneas +carrying off old Anchises; there are Paris and Venus, as naked as two +Hottentots, and many more such choice subjects from Lempriere. + +But the chief specimens of the sublime are in the way of murders, with +which the catalogue swarms. Here are a few extracts from it:-- + + +7. Beaume, Chevalier de la Legion d'Honneur. "The Grand Dauphiness +Dying." + +18. Blondel, Chevalier de la, &c. "Zenobia found Dead." + +36. Debay, Chevalier. "The Death of Lucretia." + +38. Dejuinne. "The Death of Hector." + +34. Court, Chevalier de la, &c. "The Death of Caesar." + +39, 40, 41. Delacroix, Chevalier. "Dante and Virgil in the +Infernal Lake," "The Massacre of Scio," and "Medea going to +Murder her Children." + +43. Delaroche, Chevalier. "Joas taken from among the Dead." + +44. "The Death of Queen Elizabeth." + +45. "Edward V. and his Brother" (preparing for death). + +50. "Hecuba going to be Sacrificed." Drolling, Chevalier. + +51. Dubois. "Young Clovis found Dead." + +56. Henry, Chevalier. "The Massacre of St. Bartholomew." + +75. Guerin, Chevalier. "Cain, after the Death of Abel." + +83. Jacquand. "Death of Adelaide de Comminges." + +88. "The Death of Eudamidas." + +93. "The Death of Hymetto." + +103. "The Death of Philip of Austria."--And so on. + + +You see what woful subjects they take, and how profusely they are +decorated with knighthood. They are like the Black Brunswickers, these +painters, and ought to be called Chevaliers de la Mort. I don't know why +the merriest people in the world should please themselves with such grim +representations and varieties of murder, or why murder itself should be +considered so eminently sublime and poetical. It is good at the end of +a tragedy; but, then, it is good because it is the end, and because, +by the events foregone, the mind is prepared for it. But these men will +have nothing but fifth acts; and seem to skip, as unworthy, all the +circumstances leading to them. This, however, is part of the scheme--the +bloated, unnatural, stilted, spouting, sham sublime, that our teachers +have believed and tried to pass off as real, and which your humble +servant and other antihumbuggists should heartily, according to the +strength that is in them, endeavor to pull down. What, for instance, +could Monsieur Lafond care about the death of Eudamidas? What was Hecuba +to Chevalier Drolling, or Chevalier Drolling to Hecuba? I would lay a +wager that neither of them ever conjugated [Greek text omitted], and +that their school learning carried them not as far as the letter, but +only to the game of taw. How were they to be inspired by such subjects? +From having seen Talma and Mademoiselle Georges flaunting in sham Greek +costumes, and having read up the articles Eudamidas, Hecuba, in the +"Mythological Dictionary." What a classicism, inspired by rouge, +gas-lamps, and a few lines in Lempriere, and copied, half from ancient +statues, and half from a naked guardsman at one shilling and sixpence +the hour! + +Delacroix is a man of a very different genius, and his "Medea" is +a genuine creation of a noble fancy. For most of the others, Mrs. +Brownrigg, and her two female 'prentices, would have done as well as +the desperate Colchian with her [Greek text omitted]. M. Delacroix has +produced a number of rude, barbarous pictures; but there is the stamp of +genius on all of them,--the great poetical INTENTION, which is worth all +your execution. Delaroche is another man of high merit; with not such a +great HEART, perhaps, as the other, but a fine and careful draughtsman, +and an excellent arranger of his subject. "The Death of Elizabeth" is a +raw young performance seemingly--not, at least, to my taste. The "Enfans +d'Edouard" is renowned over Europe, and has appeared in a hundred +different ways in print. It is properly pathetic and gloomy, and merits +fully its high reputation. This painter rejoices in such subjects--in +what Lord Portsmouth used to call "black jobs." He has killed Charles +I. and Lady Jane Grey, and the Dukes of Guise, and I don't know whom +besides. He is, at present, occupied with a vast work at the Beaux +Arts, where the writer of this had the honor of seeing him,--a little, +keen-looking man, some five feet in height. He wore, on this important +occasion, a bandanna round his head, and was in the act of smoking a +cigar. + +Horace Vernet, whose beautiful daughter Delaroche married, is the king +of French battle-painters--an amazingly rapid and dexterous draughtsman, +who has Napoleon and all the campaigns by heart, and has painted the +Grenadier Francais under all sorts of attitudes. His pictures on such +subjects are spirited, natural, and excellent; and he is so clever +a man, that all he does is good to a certain degree. His "Judith" is +somewhat violent, perhaps. His "Rebecca" most pleasing; and not the less +so for a little pretty affectation of attitude and needless singularity +of costume. "Raphael and Michael Angelo" is as clever a picture as +can be--clever is just the word--the groups and drawing excellent, the +coloring pleasantly bright and gaudy; and the French students study it +incessantly; there are a dozen who copy it for one who copies Delacroix. +His little scraps of wood-cuts, in the now publishing "Life of +Napoleon," are perfect gems in their way, and the noble price paid for +them not a penny more than he merits. + +The picture, by Court, of "The Death of Caesar," is remarkable for +effect and excellent workmanship: and the head of Brutus (who looks +like Armand Carrel) is full of energy. There are some beautiful heads +of women, and some very good color in the picture. Jacquand's "Death of +Adelaide de Comminges" is neither more nor less than beautiful. Adelaide +had, it appears, a lover, who betook himself to a convent of Trappists. +She followed him thither, disguised as a man, took the vows, and was not +discovered by him till on her death-bed. The painter has told this story +in a most pleasing and affecting manner: the picture is full of onction +and melancholy grace. The objects, too, are capitally represented; and +the tone and color very good. Decaisne's "Guardian Angel" is not so good +in color, but is equally beautiful in expression and grace. A little +child and a nurse are asleep: an angel watches the infant. You see women +look very wistfully at this sweet picture; and what triumph would a +painter have more? + +We must not quit the Luxembourg without noticing the dashing +sea-pieces of Gudin, and one or two landscapes by Giroux (the plain +of Grasivaudan), and "The Prometheus" of Aligny. This is an imitation, +perhaps; as is a noble picture of "Jesus Christ and the Children," by +Flandrin: but the artists are imitating better models, at any rate; and +one begins to perceive that the odious classical dynasty is no more. +Poussin's magnificent "Polyphemus" (I only know a print of that +marvellous composition) has, perhaps, suggested the first-named picture; +and the latter has been inspired by a good enthusiastic study of the +Roman schools. + +Of this revolution, Monsieur Ingres has been one of the chief +instruments. He was, before Horace Vernet, president of the French +Academy at Rome, and is famous as a chief of a school. When he broke +up his atelier here, to set out for his presidency, many of his pupils +attended him faithfully some way on his journey; and some, with scarcely +a penny in their pouches, walked through France and across the Alps, in +a pious pilgrimage to Rome, being determined not to forsake their old +master. Such an action was worthy of them, and of the high rank which +their profession holds in France, where the honors to be acquired by art +are only inferior to those which are gained in war. One reads of such +peregrinations in old days, when the scholars of some great Italian +painter followed him from Venice to Rome, or from Florence to Ferrara. +In regard of Ingres's individual merit as a painter, the writer of this +is not a fair judge, having seen but three pictures by him; one being a +plafond in the Louvre, which his disciples much admire. + +Ingres stands between the Imperio-Davido-classical school of French art, +and the namby-pamby mystical German school, which is for carrying us +back to Cranach and Duerer, and which is making progress here. + +For everything here finds imitation: the French have the genius of +imitation and caricature. This absurd humbug, called the Christian or +Catholic art, is sure to tickle our neighbors, and will be a favorite +with them, when better known. My dear MacGilp, I do believe this to be +a greater humbug than the humbug of David and Girodet, inasmuch as the +latter was founded on Nature at least; whereas the former is made up of +silly affectations, and improvements upon Nature. Here, for instance, is +Chevalier Ziegler's picture of "St. Luke painting the Virgin." St. Luke +has a monk's dress on, embroidered, however, smartly round the sleeves. +The Virgin sits in an immense yellow-ochre halo, with her son in her +arms. She looks preternaturally solemn; as does St. Luke, who is eying +his paint-brush with an intense ominous mystical look. They call this +Catholic art. There is nothing, my dear friend, more easy in life. +First take your colors, and rub them down clean,--bright carmine, +bright yellow, bright sienna, bright ultramarine, bright green. Make the +costumes of your figures as much as possible like the costumes of +the early part of the fifteenth century. Paint them in with the above +colors; and if on a gold ground, the more "Catholic" your art is. Dress +your apostles like priests before the altar; and remember to have a good +commodity of crosiers, censers, and other such gimcracks, as you may +see in the Catholic chapels, in Sutton Street and elsewhere. Deal in +Virgins, and dress them like a burgomaster's wife by Cranach or Van +Eyck. Give them all long twisted tails to their gowns, and proper +angular draperies. Place all their heads on one side, with the eyes +shut, and the proper solemn simper. At the back of the head, draw, +and gild with gold-leaf, a halo or glory, of the exact shape of a +cart-wheel: and you have the thing done. It is Catholic art tout crache, +as Louis Philippe says. We have it still in England, handed down to us +for four centuries, in the pictures on the cards, as the redoubtable +king and queen of clubs. Look at them: you will see that the costumes +and attitudes are precisely similar to those which figure in the +catholicities of the school of Overbeck and Cornelius. + +Before you take your cane at the door, look for one instant at the +statue-room. Yonder is Jouffley's "Jeune Fille confiant son premier +secret a Venus." Charming, charming! It is from the exhibition of +this year only; and I think the best sculpture in the gallery--pretty, +fanciful, naive; admirable in workmanship and imitation of Nature. I +have seldom seen flesh better represented in marble. Examine, also, +Jaley's "Pudeur," Jacquot's "Nymph," and Rude's "Boy with the Tortoise." +These are not very exalted subjects, or what are called exalted, and do +not go beyond simple, smiling beauty and nature. But what then? Are we +gods, Miltons, Michel Angelos, that can leave earth when we please; +and soar to heights immeasurable? No, my dear MacGilp; but the fools of +academicians would fain make us so. Are you not, and half the painters +in London, panting for an opportunity to show your genius in a great +"historical picture?" O blind race! Have you wings? Not a feather: and +yet you must be ever puffing, sweating up to the tops of rugged hills; +and, arrived there, clapping and shaking your ragged elbows, and making +as if you would fly! Come down, silly Daedalus; come down to the lowly +places in which Nature ordered you to walk. The sweet flowers are +springing there; the fat muttons are waiting there; the pleasant sun +shines there; be content and humble, and take your share of the good +cheer. + +While we have been indulging in this discussion, the omnibus has gayly +conducted us across the water; and le garde qui veille a la porte du +Louvre ne defend pas our entry. + +What a paradise this gallery is for French students, or foreigners who +sojourn in the capital! It is hardly necessary to say that the brethren +of the brush are not usually supplied by Fortune with any extraordinary +wealth, or means of enjoying the luxuries with which Paris, more than +any other city, abounds. But here they have a luxury which surpasses all +others, and spend their days in a palace which all the money of all the +Rothschilds could not buy. They sleep, perhaps, in a garret, and dine +in a cellar; but no grandee in Europe has such a drawing-room. Kings' +houses have, at best, but damask hangings, and gilt cornices. What are +these to a wall covered with canvas by Paul Veronese, or a hundred +yards of Rubens? Artists from England, who have a national gallery that +resembles a moderate-sized gin-shop, who may not copy pictures, except +under particular restrictions, and on rare and particular days, may +revel here to their hearts' content. Here is a room half a mile long, +with as many windows as Aladdin's palace, open from sunrise till +evening, and free to all manners and all varieties of study: the only +puzzle to the student is to select the one he shall begin upon, and keep +his eyes away from the rest. + +Fontaine's grand staircase, with its arches, and painted ceilings and +shining Doric columns, leads directly to the gallery; but it is thought +too fine for working days, and is only opened for the public entrance +on Sabbath. A little back stair (leading from a court, in which stand +numerous bas-reliefs, and a solemn sphinx, of polished granite,) is the +common entry for students and others, who, during the week, enter the +gallery. + +Hither have lately been transported a number of the works of French +artists, which formerly covered the walls of the Luxembourg (death +only entitles the French painter to a place in the Louvre); and let us +confine ourselves to the Frenchmen only, for the space of this letter. + +I have seen, in a fine private collection at St. Germain, one or two +admirable single figures of David, full of life, truth, and gayety. +The color is not good, but all the rest excellent; and one of these so +much-lauded pictures is the portrait of a washer-woman. "Pope Pius," at +the Louvre, is as bad in color as remarkable for its vigor and look of +life. The man had a genius for painting portraits and common life, but +must attempt the heroic;--failed signally; and what is worse, carried a +whole nation blundering after him. Had you told a Frenchman so, twenty +years ago, he would have thrown the dementi in your teeth; or, at least, +laughed at you in scornful incredulity. They say of us that we don't +know when we are beaten: they go a step further, and swear their defeats +are victories. David was a part of the glory of the empire; and one +might as well have said then that "Romulus" was a bad picture, as that +Toulouse was a lost battle. Old-fashioned people, who believe in +the Emperor, believe in the Theatre Francais, and believe that Ducis +improved upon Shakspeare, have the above opinion. Still, it is curious +to remark, in this place, how art and literature become party matters, +and political sects have their favorite painters and authors. + +Nevertheless, Jacques Louis David is dead, he died about a year after +his bodily demise in 1825. The romanticism killed him. Walter Scott, +from his Castle of Abbotsford, sent out a troop of gallant young Scotch +adventurers, merry outlaws, valiant knights, and savage Highlanders, +who, with trunk hosen and buff jerkins, fierce two-handed swords, and +harness on their back, did challenge, combat, and overcome the heroes +and demigods of Greece and Rome. Notre Dame a la rescousse! Sir Brian +de Bois Guilbert has borne Hector of Troy clear out of his saddle. +Andromache may weep: but her spouse is beyond the reach of physic. See! +Robin Hood twangs his bow, and the heathen gods fly, howling. Montjoie +Saint Denis! down goes Ajax under the mace of Dunois; and yonder +are Leonidas and Romulus begging their lives of Rob Roy Macgregor. +Classicism is dead. Sir John Froissart has taken Dr. Lempriere by the +nose, and reigns sovereign. + +Of the great pictures of David the defunct, we need not, then, say much. +Romulus is a mighty fine young fellow, no doubt; and if he has come out +to battle stark naked (except a very handsome helmet), it is because the +costume became him, and shows off his figure to advantage. But was there +ever anything so absurd as this passion for the nude, which was followed +by all the painters of the Davidian epoch? And how are we to suppose +yonder straddle to be the true characteristic of the heroic and the +sublime? Romulus stretches his legs as far as ever nature will allow; +the Horatii, in receiving their swords, think proper to stretch their +legs too, and to thrust forward their arms, thus,-- + + +[Drawing omitted] + + +Romulus's is in the exact action of a telegraph; and the Horatii are all +in the position of the lunge. Is this the sublime? Mr. Angelo, of Bond +Street, might admire the attitude; his namesake, Michel, I don't think +would. + +The little picture of "Paris and Helen," one of the master's earliest, +I believe, is likewise one of his best: the details are exquisitely +painted. Helen looks needlessly sheepish, and Paris has a most odious +ogle; but the limbs of the male figure are beautifully designed, and +have not the green tone which you see in the later pictures of the +master. What is the meaning of this green? Was it the fashion, or the +varnish? Girodet's pictures are green; Gros's emperors and grenadiers +have universally the jaundice. Gerard's "Psyche" has a most decided +green-sickness; and I am at a loss, I confess, to account for the +enthusiasm which this performance inspired on its first appearance +before the public. + +In the same room with it is Girodet's ghastly "Deluge," and Gericault's +dismal "Medusa." Gericault died, they say, for want of fame. He was a +man who possessed a considerable fortune of his own; but pined because +no one in his day would purchase his pictures, and so acknowledge his +talent. At present, a scrawl from his pencil brings an enormous price. +All his works have a grand cachet: he never did anything mean. When he +painted the "Raft of the Medusa," it is said he lived for a long time +among the corpses which he painted, and that his studio was a second +Morgue. If you have not seen the picture, you are familiar probably, +with Reynolds's admirable engraving of it. A huge black sea; a raft +beating upon it; a horrid company of men dead, half dead, writhing +and frantic with hideous hunger or hideous hope; and, far away, black, +against a stormy sunset, a sail. The story is powerfully told, and has a +legitimate tragic interest, so to speak,--deeper, because more natural, +than Girodet's green "Deluge," for instance: or his livid "Orestes," or +red-hot "Clytemnestra." + +Seen from a distance the latter's "Deluge" has a certain awe-inspiring +air with it. A slimy green man stands on a green rock, and clutches hold +of a tree. On the green man's shoulders is his old father, in a green +old age; to him hangs his wife, with a babe on her breast, and dangling +at her hair, another child. In the water floats a corpse (a beautiful +head) and a green sea and atmosphere envelops all this dismal group. The +old father is represented with a bag of money in his hand; and the tree, +which the man catches, is cracking, and just on the point of giving way. +These two points were considered very fine by the critics: they are two +such ghastly epigrams as continually disfigure French Tragedy. For +this reason I have never been able to read Racine with pleasure,--the +dialogue is so crammed with these lugubrious good things--melancholy +antitheses--sparkling undertakers' wit; but this is heresy, and had +better be spoken discreetly. + +The gallery contains a vast number of Poussin's pictures; they put me in +mind of the color of objects in dreams,--a strange, hazy, lurid hue. How +noble are some of his landscapes! What a depth of solemn shadow is in +yonder wood, near which, by the side of a black water, halts Diogenes. +The air is thunder-laden, and breathes heavily. You hear ominous +whispers in the vast forest gloom. + +Near it is a landscape, by Carel Dujardin, I believe, conceived in quite +a different mood, but exquisitely poetical too. A horseman is riding +up a hill, and giving money to a blowsy beggar-wench. O matutini rores +auraeque salubres! in what a wonderful way has the artist managed to +create you out of a few bladders of paint and pots of varnish. You +can see the matutinal dews twinkling in the grass, and feel the fresh, +salubrious airs ("the breath of Nature blowing free," as the corn-law +man sings) blowing free over the heath; silvery vapors are rising up +from the blue lowlands. You can tell the hour of the morning and the +time of the year: you can do anything but describe it in words. As with +regard to the Poussin above mentioned, one can never pass it without +bearing away a certain pleasing, dreamy feeling of awe and musing; +the other landscape inspires the spectator infallibly with the most +delightful briskness and cheerfulness of spirit. Herein lies the vast +privilege of the landscape-painter: he does not address you with one +fixed particular subject or expression, but with a thousand never +contemplated by himself, and which only arise out of occasion. You +may always be looking at a natural landscape as at a fine pictorial +imitation of one; it seems eternally producing new thoughts in your +bosom, as it does fresh beauties from its own. I cannot fancy more +delightful, cheerful, silent companions for a man than half a dozen +landscapes hung round his study. Portraits, on the contrary, and large +pieces of figures, have a painful, fixed, staring look, which must jar +upon the mind in many of its moods. Fancy living in a room with David's +sans-culotte Leonidas staring perpetually in your face! + +There is a little Watteau here, and a rare piece of fantastical +brightness and gayety it is. What a delightful affectation about yonder +ladies flirting their fans, and trailing about in their long brocades! +What splendid dandies are those, ever-smirking, turning out their toes, +with broad blue ribbons to tie up their crooks and their pigtails, and +wonderful gorgeous crimson satin breeches! Yonder, in the midst of a +golden atmosphere, rises a bevy of little round Cupids, bubbling up in +clusters as out of a champagne-bottle, and melting away in air. There +is, to be sure, a hidden analogy between liquors and pictures: the eye +is deliciously tickled by these frisky Watteaus, and yields itself up to +a light, smiling, gentlemanlike intoxication. Thus, were we inclined to +pursue further this mighty subject, yonder landscape of Claude,--calm, +fresh, delicate, yet full of flavor,--should be likened to a bottle of +Chateau Margaux. And what is the Poussin before spoken of but Romanee +Gelee?--heavy, sluggish,--the luscious odor almost sickens you; a sultry +sort of drink; your limbs sink under it; you feel as if you had been +drinking hot blood. + +An ordinary man would be whirled away in a fever, or would hobble off +this mortal stage in a premature gout-fit, if he too early or too often +indulged in such tremendous drink. I think in my heart I am fonder of +pretty third-rate pictures than of your great thundering first-rates. +Confess how many times you have read Beranger, and how many Milton? +If you go to the "Star and Garter," don't you grow sick of that vast, +luscious landscape, and long for the sight of a couple of cows, or a +donkey, and a few yards of common? Donkeys, my dear MacGilp, since we +have come to this subject, say not so; Richmond Hill for them. Milton +they never grow tired of; and are as familiar with Raphael as Bottom +with exquisite Titania. Let us thank heaven, my dear sir, for according +to us the power to taste and appreciate the pleasures of mediocrity. I +have never heard that we were great geniuses. Earthy are we, and of +the earth; glimpses of the sublime are but rare to us; leave we them to +great geniuses, and to the donkeys; and if it nothing profit us aerias +tentasse domos along with them, let us thankfully remain below, being +merry and humble. + +I have now only to mention the charming "Cruche Cassee" of Greuze, which +all the young ladies delight to copy; and of which the color (a thought +too blue, perhaps) is marvellously graceful and delicate. There are +three more pictures by the artist, containing exquisite female heads and +color; but they have charms for French critics which are difficult to +be discovered by English eyes; and the pictures seem weak to me. A very +fine picture by Bon Bollongue, "Saint Benedict resuscitating a Child," +deserves particular attention, and is superb in vigor and richness of +color. You must look, too, at the large, noble, melancholy landscapes +of Philippe de Champagne; and the two magnificent Italian pictures of +Leopold Robert: they are, perhaps, the very finest pictures that the +French school has produced,--as deep as Poussin, of a better color, and +of a wonderful minuteness and veracity in the representation of objects. + +Every one of Lesueur's church-pictures is worth examining and admiring; +they are full of "unction" and pious mystical grace. "Saint Scholastica" +is divine; and the "Taking down from the Cross" as noble a composition +as ever was seen; I care not by whom the other may be. There is more +beauty, and less affectation, about this picture than you will find in +the performances of many Italian masters, with high-sounding names (out +with it, and say RAPHAEL at once). I hate those simpering Madonnas. I +declare that the "Jardiniere" is a puking, smirking miss, with +nothing heavenly about her. I vow that the "Saint Elizabeth" is a +bad picture,--a bad composition, badly drawn, badly colored, in a bad +imitation of Titian,--a piece of vile affectation. I say, that when +Raphael painted this picture two years before his death, the spirit of +painting had gone from out of him; he was no longer inspired; IT WAS +TIME THAT HE SHOULD DIE!! + +There,--the murder is out! My paper is filled to the brim, and there is +no time to speak of Lesueur's "Crucifixion," which is odiously colored, +to be sure; but earnest, tender, simple, holy. But such things are most +difficult to translate into words;--one lays down the pen, and thinks +and thinks. The figures appear, and take their places one by one: +ranging themselves according to order, in light or in gloom, the colors +are reflected duly in the little camera obscura of the brain, and the +whole picture lies there complete; but can you describe it? No, not if +pens were fitch-brushes, and words were bladders of paint. With which, +for the present, adieu. + +Your faithful + +M. A. T. + +To Mr. ROBERT MACGILP, + +NEWMAN STREET, LONDON. + + + + +THE PAINTER'S BARGAIN. + + +Simon Gambouge was the son of Solomon Gambouge; and as all the world +knows, both father and son were astonishingly clever fellows at their +profession. Solomon painted landscapes, which nobody bought; and Simon +took a higher line, and painted portraits to admiration, only nobody +came to sit to him. + +As he was not gaining five pounds a year by his profession, and had +arrived at the age of twenty, at least, Simon determined to better +himself by taking a wife,--a plan which a number of other wise men +adopt, in similar years and circumstances. So Simon prevailed upon a +butcher's daughter (to whom he owed considerably for cutlets) to quit +the meat-shop and follow him. Griskinissa--such was the fair creature's +name--"was as lovely a bit of mutton," her father said, "as ever a man +would wish to stick a knife into." She had sat to the painter for all +sorts of characters; and the curious who possess any of Gambouge's +pictures will see her as Venus, Minerva, Madonna, and in numberless +other characters: Portrait of a lady--Griskinissa; Sleeping +Nymph--Griskinissa, without a rag of clothes, lying in a forest; +Maternal Solicitude--Griskinissa again, with young Master Gambouge, who +was by this time the offspring of their affections. + +The lady brought the painter a handsome little fortune of a couple of +hundred pounds; and as long as this sum lasted no woman could be +more lovely or loving. But want began speedily to attack their little +household; bakers' bills were unpaid; rent was due, and the reckless +landlord gave no quarter; and, to crown the whole, her father, unnatural +butcher! suddenly stopped the supplies of mutton-chops; and swore that +his daughter, and the dauber; her husband, should have no more of his +wares. At first they embraced tenderly, and, kissing and crying over +their little infant, vowed to heaven that they would do without: but +in the course of the evening Griskinissa grew peckish, and poor Simon +pawned his best coat. + +When this habit of pawning is discovered, it appears to the poor a kind +of Eldorado. Gambouge and his wife were so delighted, that they, in the +course of a month, made away with her gold chain, her great warming-pan, +his best crimson plush inexpressibles, two wigs, a washhand basin and +ewer, fire-irons, window-curtains, crockery, and arm-chairs. Griskinissa +said, smiling, that she had found a second father in HER UNCLE,--a +base pun, which showed that her mind was corrupted, and that she was no +longer the tender, simple Griskinissa of other days. + +I am sorry to say that she had taken to drinking; she swallowed the +warming-pan in the course of three days, and fuddled herself one whole +evening with the crimson plush breeches. + +Drinking is the devil--the father, that is to say, of all vices. +Griskinissa's face and her mind grew ugly together; her good humor +changed to bilious, bitter discontent; her pretty, fond epithets, to +foul abuse and swearing; her tender blue eyes grew watery and blear, and +the peach-color on her cheeks fled from its old habitation, and crowded +up into her nose, where, with a number of pimples, it stuck fast. Add to +this a dirty, draggle-tailed chintz; long, matted hair, wandering into +her eyes, and over her lean shoulders, which were once so snowy, and you +have the picture of drunkenness and Mrs. Simon Gambouge. + +Poor Simon, who had been a gay, lively fellow enough in the days of his +better fortune, was completely cast down by his present ill luck, and +cowed by the ferocity of his wife. From morning till night the neighbors +could hear this woman's tongue, and understand her doings; bellows went +skimming across the room, chairs were flumped down on the floor, +and poor Gambouge's oil and varnish pots went clattering through the +windows, or down the stairs. The baby roared all day; and Simon sat pale +and idle in a corner, taking a small sup at the brandy-bottle, when Mrs. +Gambouge was out of the way. + +One day, as he sat disconsolately at his easel, furbishing up a picture +of his wife, in the character of Peace, which he had commenced a year +before, he was more than ordinarily desperate, and cursed and swore in +the most pathetic manner. "O miserable fate of genius!" cried he, "was +I, a man of such commanding talents, born for this? to be bullied by a +fiend of a wife; to have my masterpieces neglected by the world, or sold +only for a few pieces? Cursed be the love which has misled me; cursed, +be the art which is unworthy of me! Let me dig or steal, let me sell +myself as a soldier, or sell myself to the Devil, I should not be more +wretched than I am now!" + +"Quite the contrary," cried a small, cheery voice. + +"What!" exclaimed Gambouge, trembling and surprised. "Who's +there?--where are you?--who are you?" + +"You were just speaking of me," said the voice. + +Gambouge held, in his left hand, his palette; in his right, a bladder +of crimson lake, which he was about to squeeze out upon the mahogany. +"Where are you?" cried he again. + +"S-q-u-e-e-z-e!" exclaimed the little voice. + +Gambouge picked out the nail from the bladder, and gave a squeeze; when, +as sure as I am living, a little imp spurted out from the hole upon the +palette, and began laughing in the most singular and oily manner. + +When first born he was little bigger than a tadpole; then he grew to +be as big as a mouse; then he arrived at the size of a cat; and then +he jumped off the palette, and, turning head over heels, asked the poor +painter what he wanted with him. + +The strange little animal twisted head over heels, and fixed himself at +last upon the top of Gambouge's easel,--smearing out, with his heels, +all the white and vermilion which had just been laid on the allegoric +portrait of Mrs. Gambouge. + +"What!" exclaimed Simon, "is it the--" + +"Exactly so; talk of me, you know, and I am always at hand: besides, I +am not half so black as I am painted, as you will see when you know me a +little better." + +"Upon my word," said the painter, "it is a very singular surprise +which you have given me. To tell truth, I did not even believe in your +existence." + +The little imp put on a theatrical air, and, with one of Mr. Macready's +best looks, said,-- + + + "There are more things in heaven and earth, Gambogio, + Than are dreamed of in your philosophy." + + +Gambouge, being a Frenchman, did not understand the quotation, but felt +somehow strangely and singularly interested in the conversation of his +new friend. + +Diabolus continued: "You are a man of merit, and want money; you will +starve on your merit; you can only get money from me. Come, my friend, +how much is it? I ask the easiest interest in the world: old Mordecai, +the usurer, has made you pay twice as heavily before now: nothing but +the signature of a bond, which is a mere ceremony, and the transfer +of an article which, in itself, is a supposition--a valueless, windy, +uncertain property of yours, called, by some poet of your own, I think, +an animula, vagula, blandula--bah! there is no use beating about the +bush--I mean A SOUL. Come, let me have it; you know you will sell it +some other way, and not get such good pay for your bargain!"--and, +having made this speech, the Devil pulled out from his fob a sheet as +big as a double Times, only there was a different STAMP in the corner. + +It is useless and tedious to describe law documents: lawyers only love +to read them; and they have as good in Chitty as any that are to be +found in the Devil's own; so nobly have the apprentices emulated the +skill of the master. Suffice it to say, that poor Gambouge read over the +paper, and signed it. He was to have all he wished for seven years, +and at the end of that time was to become the property of the -----; +PROVIDED that, during the course of the seven years, every single wish +which he might form should be gratified by the other of the contracting +parties; otherwise the deed became null and non-avenue, and Gambouge +should be left "to go to the ----- his own way." + +"You will never see me again," said Diabolus, in shaking hands with poor +Simon, on whose fingers he left such a mark as is to be seen at this +day--"never, at least, unless you want me; for everything you ask will +be performed in the most quiet and every-day manner: believe me, it is +best and most gentlemanlike, and avoids anything like scandal. But if +you set me about anything which is extraordinary, and out of the course +of nature, as it were, come I must, you know; and of this you are +the best judge." So saying, Diabolus disappeared; but whether up the +chimney, through the keyhole, or by any other aperture or contrivance, +nobody knows. Simon Gambouge was left in a fever of delight, as, heaven +forgive me! I believe many a worthy man would be, if he were allowed an +opportunity to make a similar bargain. + +"Heigho!" said Simon. "I wonder whether this be a reality or a dream.--I +am sober, I know; for who will give me credit for the means to be drunk? +and as for sleeping, I'm too hungry for that. I wish I could see a capon +and a bottle of white wine." + +"MONSIEUR SIMON!" cried a voice on the landing-place. + +"C'est ici," quoth Gambouge, hastening to open the door. He did so; and +lo! there was a restaurateur's boy at the door, supporting a tray, +a tin-covered dish, and plates on the same; and, by its side, a tall +amber-colored flask of Sauterne. + +"I am the new boy, sir," exclaimed this youth, on entering; "but I +believe this is the right door, and you asked for these things." + +Simon grinned, and said, "Certainly, I did ASK FOR these things." But +such was the effect which his interview with the demon had had on his +innocent mind, that he took them, although he knew that they were for +old Simon, the Jew dandy, who was mad after an opera girl, and lived on +the floor beneath. + +"Go, my boy," he said; "it is good: call in a couple of hours, and +remove the plates and glasses." + +The little waiter trotted down stairs, and Simon sat greedily down to +discuss the capon and the white wine. He bolted the legs, he devoured +the wings, he cut every morsel of flesh from the breast;--seasoning +his repast with pleasant draughts of wine, and caring nothing for the +inevitable bill, which was to follow all. + +"Ye gods!" said he, as he scraped away at the backbone, "what a dinner! +what wine!--and how gayly served up too!" There were silver forks and +spoons, and the remnants of the fowl were upon a silver dish. "Why, the +money for this dish and these spoons," cried Simon, "would keep me and +Mrs. G. for a month! I WISH"--and here Simon whistled, and turned round +to see that nobody was peeping--"I wish the plate were mine." + +Oh, the horrid progress of the Devil! "Here they are," thought Simon +to himself; "why should not I TAKE THEM?" And take them he did. +"Detection," said he, "is not so bad as starvation; and I would as soon +live at the galleys as live with Madame Gambouge." + +So Gambouge shovelled dish and spoons into the flap of his surtout, and +ran down stairs as if the Devil were behind him--as, indeed, he was. + +He immediately made for the house of his old friend the pawnbroker--that +establishment which is called in France the Mont de Piete. "I am obliged +to come to you again, my old friend," said Simon, "with some family +plate, of which I beseech you to take care." + +The pawnbroker smiled as he examined the goods. "I can give you nothing +upon them," said he. + +"What!" cried Simon; "not even the worth of the silver?" + +"No; I could buy them at that price at the 'Cafe Morisot,' Rue de la +Verrerie, where, I suppose, you got them a little cheaper." And, so +saying, he showed to the guilt-stricken Gambouge how the name of that +coffee-house was inscribed upon every one of the articles which he had +wished to pawn. + +The effects of conscience are dreadful indeed. Oh! how fearful is +retribution, how deep is despair, how bitter is remorse for crime--WHEN +CRIME IS FOUND OUT!--otherwise, conscience takes matters much more +easily. Gambouge cursed his fate, and swore henceforth to be virtuous. + +"But, hark ye, my friend," continued the honest broker, "there is no +reason why, because I cannot lend upon these things, I should not buy +them: they will do to melt, if for no other purpose. Will you have half +the money?--speak, or I peach." + +Simon's resolves about virtue were dissipated instantaneously. "Give me +half," he said, "and let me go.--What scoundrels are these pawnbrokers!" +ejaculated he, as he passed out of the accursed shop, "seeking every +wicked pretext to rob the poor man of his hard-won gain." + +When he had marched forwards for a street or two, Gambouge counted the +money which he had received, and found that he was in possession of +no less than a hundred francs. It was night, as he reckoned out his +equivocal gains, and he counted them at the light of a lamp. He looked +up at the lamp, in doubt as to the course he should next pursue: upon +it was inscribed the simple number, 152. "A gambling-house," thought +Gambouge. "I wish I had half the money that is now on the table, up +stairs." + +He mounted, as many a rogue has done before him, and found half a +hundred persons busy at a table of rouge et noir. Gambouge's five +napoleons looked insignificant by the side of the heaps which were +around him; but the effects of the wine, of the theft, and of the +detection by the pawnbroker, were upon him, and he threw down his +capital stoutly upon the 0 0. + +It is a dangerous spot that 0 0, or double zero; but to Simon it +was more lucky than to the rest of the world. The ball went spinning +round--in "its predestined circle rolled," as Shelley has it, after +Goethe--and plumped down at last in the double zero. One hundred and +thirty-five gold napoleons (louis they were then) were counted out to +the delighted painter. "Oh, Diabolus!" cried he, "now it is that I +begin to believe in thee! Don't talk about merit," he cried; "talk about +fortune. Tell me not about heroes for the future--tell me of ZEROES." +And down went twenty napoleons more upon the 0. + +The Devil was certainly in the ball: round it twirled, and dropped +into zero as naturally as a duck pops its head into a pond. Our friend +received five hundred pounds for his stake; and the croupiers and +lookers-on began to stare at him. + +There were twelve thousand pounds on the table. Suffice it to say, that +Simon won half, and retired from the Palais Royal with a thick bundle +of bank-notes crammed into his dirty three-cornered hat. He had been but +half an hour in the place, and he had won the revenues of a prince for +half a year! + +Gambouge, as soon as he felt that he was a capitalist, and that he had a +stake in the country, discovered that he was an altered man. He repented +of his foul deed, and his base purloining of the restaurateur's plate. +"O honesty!" he cried, "how unworthy is an action like this of a man who +has a property like mine!" So he went back to the pawnbroker with the +gloomiest face imaginable. "My friend," said he, "I have sinned against +all that I hold most sacred: I have forgotten my family and my religion. +Here is thy money. In the name of heaven, restore me the plate which I +have wrongfully sold thee!" + +But the pawnbroker grinned, and said, "Nay, Mr. Gambouge, I will sell +that plate for a thousand francs to you, or I never will sell it at +all." + +"Well," cried Gambouge, "thou art an inexorable ruffian, Troisboules; +but I will give thee all I am worth." And here he produced a billet of +five hundred francs. "Look," said he, "this money is all I own; it is +the payment of two years' lodging. To raise it, I have toiled for many +months; and, failing, I have been a criminal. O heaven! I STOLE that +plate that I might pay my debt, and keep my dear wife from wandering +houseless. But I cannot bear this load of ignominy--I cannot suffer the +thought of this crime. I will go to the person to whom I did wrong, I +will starve, I will confess; but I will, I WILL do right!" + +The broker was alarmed. "Give me thy note," he cried; "here is the +plate." + +"Give me an acquittal first," cried Simon, almost broken-hearted; "sign +me a paper, and the money is yours." So Troisboules wrote according to +Gambouge's dictation; "Received, for thirteen ounces of plate, twenty +pounds." + +"Monster of iniquity!" cried the painter, "fiend of wickedness! thou art +caught in thine own snares. Hast thou not sold me five pounds' worth of +plate for twenty? Have I it not in my pocket? Art thou not a convicted +dealer in stolen goods? Yield, scoundrel, yield thy money, or I will +bring thee to justice!" + +The frightened pawnbroker bullied and battled for a while; but he gave +up his money at last, and the dispute ended. Thus it will be seen that +Diabolus had rather a hard bargain in the wily Gambouge. He had taken +a victim prisoner, but he had assuredly caught a Tartar. Simon now +returned home, and, to do him justice, paid the bill for his dinner, and +restored the plate. + +And now I may add (and the reader should ponder upon this, as a profound +picture of human life), that Gambouge, since he had grown rich, grew +likewise abundantly moral. He was a most exemplary father. He fed the +poor, and was loved by them. He scorned a base action. And I have no +doubt that Mr. Thurtell, or the late lamented Mr. Greenacre, in similar +circumstances, would have acted like the worthy Simon Gambouge. + +There was but one blot upon his character--he hated Mrs. Gam. worse than +ever. As he grew more benevolent, she grew more virulent: when he went +to plays, she went to Bible societies, and vice versa: in fact, she led +him such a life as Xantippe led Socrates, or as a dog leads a cat in +the same kitchen. With all his fortune--for, as may be supposed, Simon +prospered in all worldly things--he was the most miserable dog in the +whole city of Paris. Only in the point of drinking did he and Mrs. Simon +agree; and for many years, and during a considerable number of hours +in each day, he thus dissipated, partially, his domestic chagrin. +O philosophy! we may talk of thee: but, except at the bottom of the +winecup, where thou liest like truth in a well, where shall we find +thee? + +He lived so long, and in his worldly matters prospered so much, there +was so little sign of devilment in the accomplishment of his wishes, +and the increase of his prosperity, that Simon, at the end of six years, +began to doubt whether he had made any such bargain at all, as that +which we have described at the commencement of this history. He had +grown, as we said, very pious and moral. He went regularly to mass, and +had a confessor into the bargain. He resolved, therefore, to consult +that reverend gentleman, and to lay before him the whole matter. + +"I am inclined to think, holy sir," said Gambouge, after he had +concluded his history, and shown how, in some miraculous way, all his +desires were accomplished, "that, after all, this demon was no other +than the creation of my own brain, heated by the effects of that bottle +of wine, the cause of my crime and my prosperity." + +The confessor agreed with him, and they walked out of church comfortably +together, and entered afterwards a cafe, where they sat down to refresh +themselves after the fatigues of their devotion. + +A respectable old gentleman, with a number of orders at his buttonhole, +presently entered the room, and sauntered up to the marble table, before +which reposed Simon and his clerical friend. "Excuse me, gentlemen," he +said, as he took a place opposite them, and began reading the papers of +the day. + +"Bah!" said he, at last,--"sont-ils grands ces journaux Anglais? +Look, sir," he said, handing over an immense sheet of The Times to Mr. +Gambouge, "was ever anything so monstrous?" + +Gambouge smiled politely, and examined the proffered page. "It is +enormous" he said; "but I do not read English." + +"Nay," said the man with the orders, "look closer at it, Signor +Gambouge; it is astonishing how easy the language is." + +Wondering, Simon took a sheet of paper. He turned pale as he looked at +it, and began to curse the ices and the waiter. "Come, M. l'Abbe," he +said; "the heat and glare of this place are intolerable." + +The stranger rose with them. "Au plaisir de vous revoir, mon cher +monsieur," said he; "I do not mind speaking before the Abbe here, +who will be my very good friend one of these days: but I thought +it necessary to refresh your memory, concerning our little business +transaction six years since; and could not exactly talk of it AT CHURCH, +as you may fancy." + +Simon Gambouge had seen, in the double-sheeted Times, the paper signed +by himself, which the little Devil had pulled out of his fob. + +There was no doubt on the subject; and Simon, who had but a year to +live, grew more pious, and more careful than ever. He had consultations +with all the doctors of the Sorbonne and all the lawyers of the Palais. +But his magnificence grew as wearisome to him as his poverty had been +before; and not one of the doctors whom he consulted could give him a +pennyworth of consolation. + +Then he grew outrageous in his demands upon the Devil, and put him to +all sorts of absurd and ridiculous tasks; but they were all punctually +performed, until Simon could invent no new ones, and the Devil sat all +day with his hands in his pockets doing nothing. + +One day, Simon's confessor came bounding into the room, with the +greatest glee. "My friend," said he, "I have it! Eureka!--I have found +it. Send the Pope a hundred thousand crowns, build a new Jesuit college +at Rome, give a hundred gold candlesticks to St. Peter's; and tell his +Holiness you will double all, if he will give you absolution!" + +Gambouge caught at the notion, and hurried off a courier to Rome ventre +a terre. His Holiness agreed to the request of the petition, and sent +him an absolution, written out with his own fist, and all in due form. + +"Now," said he, "foul fiend, I defy you! arise, Diabolus! your contract +is not worth a jot: the Pope has absolved me, and I am safe on the +road to salvation." In a fervor of gratitude he clasped the hand of his +confessor, and embraced him: tears of joy ran down the cheeks of these +good men. + +They heard an inordinate roar of laughter, and there was Diabolus +sitting opposite to them, holding his sides, and lashing his tail about, +as if he would have gone mad with glee. + +"Why," said he, "what nonsense is this! do you suppose I care about +THAT?" and he tossed the Pope's missive into a corner. "M. l'Abbe +knows," he said, bowing and grinning, "that though the Pope's paper may +pass current HERE, it is not worth twopence in our country. What do I +care about the Pope's absolution? You might just as well be absolved by +your under butler." + +"Egad," said the Abbe, "the rogue is right--I quite forgot the fact, +which he points out clearly enough." + +"No, no, Gambouge," continued Diabolus, with horrid familiarity, "go thy +ways, old fellow, that COCK WON'T FIGHT." And he retired up the chimney, +chuckling at his wit and his triumph. Gambouge heard his tail scuttling +all the way up, as if he had been a sweeper by profession. + +Simon was left in that condition of grief in which, according to the +newspapers, cities and nations are found when a murder is committed, or +a lord ill of the gout--a situation, we say, more easy to imagine than +to describe. + +To add to his woes, Mrs. Gambouge, who was now first made acquainted +with his compact, and its probable consequences, raised such a storm +about his ears, as made him wish almost that his seven years were +expired. She screamed, she scolded, she swore, she wept, she went into +such fits of hysterics, that poor Gambouge, who had completely knocked +under to her, was worn out of his life. He was allowed no rest, night +or day: he moped about his fine house, solitary and wretched, and cursed +his stars that he ever had married the butcher's daughter. + +It wanted six months of the time. + +A sudden and desperate resolution seemed all at once to have taken +possession of Simon Gambouge. He called his family and his friends +together--he gave one of the greatest feasts that ever was known in the +city of Paris--he gayly presided at one end of his table, while Mrs. +Gam., splendidly arrayed, gave herself airs at the other extremity. + +After dinner, using the customary formula, he called upon Diabolus to +appear. The old ladies screamed, and hoped he would not appear naked; +the young ones tittered, and longed to see the monster: everybody was +pale with expectation and affright. + +A very quiet, gentlemanly man, neatly dressed in black, made his +appearance, to the surprise of all present, and bowed all round to +the company. "I will not show my CREDENTIALS," he said, blushing, and +pointing to his hoofs, which were cleverly hidden by his pumps and +shoe-buckles, "unless the ladies absolutely wish it; but I am the person +you want, Mr. Gambouge; pray tell me what is your will." + +"You know," said that gentleman, in a stately and determined voice, +"that you are bound to me, according to our agreement, for six months to +come." + +"I am," replied the new comer. + +"You are to do all that I ask, whatsoever it may be, or you forfeit the +bond which I gave you?" + +"It is true." + +"You declare this before the present company?" + +"Upon my honor, as a gentleman," said Diabolus, bowing, and laying his +hand upon his waistcoat. + +A whisper of applause ran round the room: all were charmed with the +bland manners of the fascinating stranger. + +"My love," continued Gambouge, mildly addressing his lady, "will you +be so polite as to step this way? You know I must go soon, and I am +anxious, before this noble company, to make a provision for one who, in +sickness as in health, in poverty as in riches, has been my truest and +fondest companion." + +Gambouge mopped his eyes with his handkerchief--all the company did +likewise. Diabolus sobbed audibly, and Mrs. Gambouge sidled up to her +husband's side, and took him tenderly by the hand. "Simon!" said she, +"is it true? and do you really love your Griskinissa?" + +Simon continued solemnly: "Come hither, Diabolus; you are bound to obey +me in all things for the six months during which our contract has to +run; take, then, Griskinissa Gambouge, live alone with her for half a +year, never leave her from morning till night, obey all her caprices, +follow all her whims, and listen to all the abuse which falls from +her infernal tongue. Do this, and I ask no more of you; I will deliver +myself up at the appointed time." + +Not Lord G---, when flogged by lord B---, in the House,--not Mr. +Cartlitch, of Astley's Amphitheatre, in his most pathetic passages, +could look more crestfallen, and howl more hideously, than Diabolus did +now. "Take another year, Gambouge," screamed he; "two more--ten more--a +century; roast me on Lawrence's gridiron, boil me in holy water, but +don't ask that: don't, don't bid me live with Mrs. Gambouge!" + +Simon smiled sternly. "I have said it," he cried; "do this, or our +contract is at an end." + +The Devil, at this, grinned so horribly that every drop of beer in the +house turned sour: he gnashed his teeth so frightfully that every person +in the company wellnigh fainted with the cholic. He slapped down the +great parchment upon the floor, trampled upon it madly, and lashed it +with his hoofs and his tail: at last, spreading out a mighty pair of +wings as wide as from here to Regent Street, he slapped Gambouge with +his tail over one eye, and vanished, abruptly, through the keyhole. + +Gambouge screamed with pain and started up. "You drunken, lazy +scoundrel!" cried a shrill and well-known voice, "you have been asleep +these two hours:" and here he received another terrific box on the ear. + +It was too true, he had fallen asleep at his work; and the beautiful +vision had been dispelled by the thumps of the tipsy Griskinissa. +Nothing remained to corroborate his story, except the bladder of lake, +and this was spirted all over his waistcoat and breeches. + +"I wish," said the poor fellow, rubbing his tingling cheeks, "that +dreams were true;" and he went to work again at his portrait. + +My last accounts of Gambouge are, that he has left the arts, and is +footman in a small family. Mrs. Gam. takes in washing; and it is said +that, her continual dealings with soap-suds and hot water have been the +only things in life which have kept her from spontaneous combustion. + + + +CARTOUCHE. + + +I have been much interested with an account of the exploits of Monsieur +Louis Dominic Cartouche, and as Newgate and the highways are so much +the fashion with us in England, we may be allowed to look abroad for +histories of a similar tendency. It is pleasant to find that virtue is +cosmopolite, and may exist among wooden-shoed Papists as well as honest +Church-of-England men. + +Louis Dominic was born in a quarter of Paris called the Courtille, says +the historian whose work lies before me;--born in the Courtille, and +in the year 1693. Another biographer asserts that he was born two years +later, and in the Marais;--of respectable parents, of course. Think of +the talent that our two countries produced about this time: Marlborough, +Villars, Mandrin, Turpin, Boileau, Dryden, Swift, Addison, Moliere, +Racine, Jack Sheppard, and Louis Cartouche,--all famous within the same +twenty years, and fighting, writing, robbing a l'envi! + +Well, Marlborough was no chicken when he began to show his genius; Swift +was but a dull, idle, college lad; but if we read the histories of +some other great men mentioned in the above list--I mean the thieves, +especially--we shall find that they all commenced very early: they +showed a passion for their art, as little Raphael did, or little +Mozart; and the history of Cartouche's knaveries begins almost with his +breeches. + +Dominic's parents sent him to school at the college of Clermont (now +Louis le Grand); and although it has never been discovered that the +Jesuits, who directed that seminary, advanced him much in classical +or theological knowledge, Cartouche, in revenge, showed, by repeated +instances, his own natural bent and genius, which no difficulties were +strong enough to overcome. His first great action on record, although +not successful in the end, and tinctured with the innocence of youth, is +yet highly creditable to him. He made a general swoop of a hundred and +twenty nightcaps belonging to his companions, and disposed of them to +his satisfaction; but as it was discovered that of all the youths in +the college of Clermont, he only was the possessor of a cap to sleep in, +suspicion (which, alas! was confirmed) immediately fell upon him: and by +this little piece of youthful naivete, a scheme, prettily conceived and +smartly performed, was rendered naught. + +Cartouche had a wonderful love for good eating, and put all the +apple-women and cooks, who came to supply the students, under +contribution. Not always, however, desirous of robbing these, he used to +deal with them, occasionally, on honest principles of barter; that is, +whenever he could get hold of his schoolfellows' knives, books, +rulers, or playthings, which he used fairly to exchange for tarts and +gingerbread. + +It seemed as if the presiding genius of evil was determined to patronize +this young man; for before he had been long at college, and soon after +he had, with the greatest difficulty, escaped from the nightcap scrape, +an opportunity occurred by which he was enabled to gratify both his +propensities at once, and not only to steal, but to steal sweetmeats. +It happened that the principal of the college received some pots of +Narbonne honey, which came under the eyes of Cartouche, and in which +that young gentleman, as soon as ever he saw them, determined to put +his fingers. The president of the college put aside his honey-pots in +an apartment within his own; to which, except by the one door which led +into the room which his reverence usually occupied, there was no outlet. +There was no chimney in the room; and the windows looked into the court, +where there was a porter at night, and where crowds passed by day. What +was Cartouche to do?--have the honey he must. + +Over this chamber, which contained what his soul longed after, and over +the president's rooms, there ran a set of unoccupied garrets, into which +the dexterous Cartouche penetrated. These were divided from the rooms +below, according to the fashion of those days, by a set of large beams, +which reached across the whole building, and across which rude planks +were laid, which formed the ceiling of the lower story and the floor of +the upper. Some of these planks did young Cartouche remove; and having +descended by means of a rope, tied a couple of others to the neck of the +honey-pots, climbed back again, and drew up his prey in safety. He then +cunningly fixed the planks again in their old places, and retired to +gorge himself upon his booty. And, now, see the punishment of avarice! +Everybody knows that the brethren of the order of Jesus are bound by +a vow to have no more than a certain small sum of money in their +possession. The principal of the college of Clermont had amassed a +larger sum, in defiance of this rule: and where do you think the old +gentleman had hidden it? In the honey-pots! As Cartouche dug his spoon +into one of them, he brought out, besides a quantity of golden honey, a +couple of golden louis, which, with ninety-eight more of their fellows, +were comfortably hidden in the pots. Little Dominic, who, before, had +cut rather a poor figure among his fellow-students, now appeared in +as fine clothes as any of them could boast of; and when asked by his +parents, on going home, how he came by them, said that a young nobleman +of his schoolfellows had taken a violent fancy to him, and made him a +present of a couple of his suits. Cartouche the elder, good man, went +to thank the young nobleman; but none such could be found, and young +Cartouche disdained to give any explanation of his manner of gaining the +money. + +Here, again, we have to regret and remark the inadvertence of youth. +Cartouche lost a hundred louis--for what? For a pot of honey not worth a +couple of shillings. Had he fished out the pieces, and replaced the pots +and the honey, he might have been safe, and a respectable citizen all +his life after. The principal would not have dared to confess the loss +of his money, and did not, openly; but he vowed vengeance against the +stealer of his sweetmeat, and a rigid search was made. Cartouche, as +usual, was fixed upon; and in the tick of his bed, lo! there were found +a couple of empty honey-pots! From this scrape there is no knowing +how he would have escaped, had not the president himself been a little +anxious to hush the matter up; and accordingly, young Cartouche was made +to disgorge the residue of his ill-gotten gold pieces, old +Cartouche made up the deficiency, and his son was allowed to remain +unpunished--until the next time. + +This, you may fancy, was not very long in coming; and though history +has not made us acquainted with the exact crime which Louis Dominic next +committed, it must have been a serious one; for Cartouche, who had +borne philosophically all the whippings and punishments which were +administered to him at college, did not dare to face that one which +his indignant father had in pickle for him. As he was coming home from +school, on the first day after his crime, when he received permission to +go abroad, one of his brothers, who was on the look-out for him, met +him at a short distance from home, and told him what was in preparation; +which so frightened this young thief, that he declined returning home +altogether, and set out upon the wide world to shift for himself as he +could. + +Undoubted as his genius was, he had not arrived at the full exercise of +it, and his gains were by no means equal to his appetite. In whatever +professions he tried,--whether he joined the gipsies, which he +did,--whether he picked pockets on the Pont Neuf, which occupation +history attributes to him,--poor Cartouche was always hungry. Hungry +and ragged, he wandered from one place and profession to another, and +regretted the honey-pots at Clermont, and the comfortable soup and +bouilli at home. + +Cartouche had an uncle, a kind man, who was a merchant, and had dealings +at Rouen. One day, walking on the quays of that city, this gentleman saw +a very miserable, dirty, starving lad, who had just made a pounce upon +some bones and turnip-peelings, that had been flung out on the quay, and +was eating them as greedily as if they had been turkeys and truffles. +The worthy man examined the lad a little closer. O heavens! it was their +runaway prodigal--it was little Louis Dominic! The merchant was touched +by his case; and forgetting the nightcaps, the honey-pots, and the rags +and dirt of little Louis, took him to his arms, and kissed and hugged +him with the tenderest affection. Louis kissed and hugged too, and +blubbered a great deal: he was very repentant, as a man often is when he +is hungry; and he went home with his uncle, and his peace was made; and +his mother got him new clothes, and filled his belly, and for a while +Louis was as good a son as might be. + +But why attempt to balk the progress of genius? Louis's was not to be +kept down. He was sixteen years of age by this time--a smart, lively +young fellow, and, what is more, desperately enamored of a lovely +washerwoman. To be successful in your love, as Louis knew, you must have +something more than mere flames and sentiment;--a washer, or any other +woman, cannot live upon sighs only; but must have new gowns and caps, +and a necklace every now and then, and a few handkerchiefs and silk +stockings, and a treat into the country or to the play. Now, how are all +these things to be had without money? Cartouche saw at once that it was +impossible; and as his father would give him none, he was obliged to +look for it elsewhere. He took to his old courses, and lifted a +purse here, and a watch there; and found, moreover, an accommodating +gentleman, who took the wares off his hands. + +This gentleman introduced him into a very select and agreeable society, +in which Cartouche's merit began speedily to be recognized, and in which +he learnt how pleasant it is in life to have friends to assist one, and +how much may be done by a proper division of labor. M. Cartouche, in +fact, formed part of a regular company or gang of gentlemen, who were +associated together for the purpose of making war on the public and the +law. + +Cartouche had a lovely young sister, who was to be married to a rich +young gentleman from the provinces. As is the fashion in France, the +parents had arranged the match among themselves; and the young people +had never met until just before the time appointed for the marriage, +when the bridegroom came up to Paris with his title-deeds, and +settlements, and money. Now there can hardly be found in history a +finer instance of devotion than Cartouche now exhibited. He went to his +captain, explained the matter to him, and actually, for the good of +his country, as it were (the thieves might be called his country), +sacrificed his sister's husband's property. Informations were taken, the +house of the bridegroom was reconnoitred, and, one night, Cartouche, in +company with some chosen friends, made his first visit to the house of +his brother-in-law. All the people were gone to bed; and, doubtless, for +fear of disturbing the porter, Cartouche and his companions spared him +the trouble of opening the door, by ascending quietly at the window. +They arrived at the room where the bridegroom kept his great chest, and +set industriously to work, filing and picking the locks which defended +the treasure. + +The bridegroom slept in the next room; but however tenderly Cartouche +and his workmen handled their tools, from fear of disturbing his +slumbers, their benevolent design was disappointed, for awaken him they +did; and quietly slipping out of bed, he came to a place where he had a +complete view of all that was going on. He did not cry out, or frighten +himself sillily; but, on the contrary, contented himself with watching +the countenances of the robbers, so that he might recognize them on +another occasion; and, though an avaricious man, he did not feel the +slightest anxiety about his money-chest; for the fact is, he had removed +all the cash and papers the day before. + +As soon, however, as they had broken all the locks, and found the +nothing which lay at the bottom of the chest, he shouted with such a +loud voice, "Here, Thomas!--John!--officer!--keep the gate, fire at the +rascals!" that they, incontinently taking fright, skipped nimbly out of +window, and left the house free. + +Cartouche, after this, did not care to meet his brother-in-law, but +eschewed all those occasions on which the latter was to be present at +his father's house. The evening before the marriage came; and then his +father insisted upon his appearance among the other relatives of the +bride's and bridegroom's families, who were all to assemble and make +merry. Cartouche was obliged to yield; and brought with him one or two +of his companions, who had been, by the way, present in the affair of +the empty money-boxes; and though he never fancied that there was any +danger in meeting his brother-in-law, for he had no idea that he had +been seen on the night of the attack, with a natural modesty, which did +him really credit, he kept out of the young bridegroom's sight as much +as he could, and showed no desire to be presented to him. At supper, +however, as he was sneaking modestly down to a side-table, his father +shouted after him, "Ho, Dominic, come hither, and sit opposite to +your brother-in-law:" which Dominic did, his friends following. The +bridegroom pledged him very gracefully in a bumper; and was in the act +of making him a pretty speech, on the honor of an alliance with such +a family, and on the pleasures of brother-in-lawship in general, when, +looking in his face--ye gods! he saw the very man who had been filing at +his money-chest a few nights ago! By his side, too, sat a couple more of +the gang. The poor fellow turned deadly pale and sick, and, setting +his glass down, ran quickly out of the room, for he thought he was in +company of a whole gang of robbers. And when he got home, he wrote a +letter to the elder Cartouche, humbly declining any connection with his +family. + +Cartouche the elder, of course, angrily asked the reason of such an +abrupt dissolution of the engagement; and then, much to his horror, +heard of his eldest son's doings. "You would not have me marry into +such a family?" said the ex-bridegroom. And old Cartouche, an honest old +citizen, confessed, with a heavy heart, that he would not. What was he +to do with the lad? He did not like to ask for a lettre de cachet, +and shut him up in the Bastile. He determined to give him a year's +discipline at the monastery of St. Lazare. + +But how to catch the young gentleman? Old Cartouche knew that, were +he to tell his son of the scheme, the latter would never obey, and, +therefore, he determined to be very cunning. He told Dominic that he +was about to make a heavy bargain with the fathers, and should require +a witness; so they stepped into a carriage together, and drove +unsuspectingly to the Rue St. Denis. But, when they arrived near the +convent, Cartouche saw several ominous figures gathering round the +coach, and felt that his doom was sealed. However, he made as if he knew +nothing of the conspiracy; and the carriage drew up, and his father, +descended, and, bidding him wait for a minute in the coach, promised to +return to him. Cartouche looked out; on the other side of the way half a +dozen men were posted, evidently with the intention of arresting him. + +Cartouche now performed a great and celebrated stroke of genius, which, +if he had not been professionally employed in the morning, he never +could have executed. He had in his pocket a piece of linen, which he had +laid hold of at the door of some shop, and from which he quickly tore +three suitable stripes. One he tied round his head, after the fashion of +a nightcap; a second round his waist, like an apron; and with the third +he covered his hat, a round one, with a large brim. His coat and his +periwig lie left behind him in the carriage; and when he stepped out +from it (which he did without asking the coachman to let down the +steps), he bore exactly the appearance of a cook's boy carrying a dish; +and with this he slipped through the exempts quite unsuspected, and bade +adieu to the Lazarists and his honest father, who came out speedily to +seek him, and was not a little annoyed to find only his coat and wig. + +With that coat and wig, Cartouche left home, father, friends, +conscience, remorse, society, behind him. He discovered (like a great +number of other philosophers and poets, when they have committed +rascally actions) that the world was all going wrong, and he quarrelled +with it outright. One of the first stories told of the illustrious +Cartouche, when he became professionally and openly a robber, redounds +highly to his credit, and shows that he knew how to take advantage of +the occasion, and how much he had improved in the course of a very few +years' experience. His courage and ingenuity were vastly admired by his +friends; so much so, that, one day, the captain of the band thought fit +to compliment him, and vowed that when he (the captain) died, Cartouche +should infallibly be called to the command-in-chief. This conversation, +so flattering to Cartouche, was carried on between the two gentlemen, +as they were walking, one night, on the quays by the side of the Seine. +Cartouche, when the captain made the last remark, blushingly protested +against it, and pleaded his extreme youth as a reason why his comrades +could never put entire trust in him. "Psha, man!" said the captain, "thy +youth is in thy favor; thou wilt live only the longer to lead thy troops +to victory. As for strength, bravery, and cunning, wert thou as old as +Methuselah, thou couldst not be better provided than thou art now, at +eighteen." What was the reply of Monsieur Cartouche? He answered, not by +words, but by actions. Drawing his knife from his girdle, he instantly +dug it into the captain's left side, as near his heart as possible; and +then, seizing that imprudent commander, precipitated him violently +into the waters of the Seine, to keep company with the gudgeons and +river-gods. When he returned to the band, and recounted how the captain +had basely attempted to assassinate him, and how he, on the contrary, +had, by exertion of superior skill, overcome the captain, not one of +the society believed a word of his history; but they elected him captain +forthwith. I think his Excellency Don Rafael Maroto, the pacificator of +Spain, is an amiable character, for whom history has not been written in +vain. + +Being arrived at this exalted position, there is no end of the feats +which Cartouche performed; and his band reached to such a pitch of +glory, that if there had been a hundred thousand, instead of a hundred +of them, who knows but that a new and popular dynasty might not have +been founded, and "Louis Dominic, premier Empereur des Francais," might +have performed innumerable glorious actions, and fixed himself in the +hearts of his people, just as other monarchs have done, a hundred years +after Cartouche's death. + +A story similar to the above, and equally moral, is that of Cartouche, +who, in company with two other gentlemen, robbed the coche, +or packet-boat, from Melun, where they took a good quantity of +booty,--making the passengers lie down on the decks, and rifling them +at leisure. "This money will be but very little among three," whispered +Cartouche to his neighbor, as the three conquerors were making merry +over their gains; "if you were but to pull the trigger of your pistol +in the neighborhood of your comrade's ear, perhaps it might go off, +and then there would be but two of us to share." Strangely enough, as +Cartouche said, the pistol DID go off, and No. 3 perished. "Give him +another ball," said Cartouche; and another was fired into him. But +no sooner had Cartouche's comrade discharged both his pistols, than +Cartouche himself, seized with a furious indignation, drew his: "Learn, +monster," cried he, "not to be so greedy of gold, and perish, the victim +of thy disloyalty and avarice!" So Cartouche slew the second robber; and +there is no man in Europe who can say that the latter did not merit well +his punishment. + +I could fill volumes, and not mere sheets of paper, with tales of the +triumphs of Cartouche and his band; how he robbed the Countess of O----, +going to Dijon, in her coach, and how the Countess fell in love with +him, and was faithful to him ever after; how, when the lieutenant of +police offered a reward of a hundred pistoles to any man who would bring +Cartouche before him, a noble Marquess, in a coach and six, drove up +to the hotel of the police; and the noble Marquess, desiring to see +Monsieur de la Reynie, on matters of the highest moment, alone, the +latter introduced him into his private cabinet; and how, when there, the +Marquess drew from his pocket a long, curiously shaped dagger: "Look at +this, Monsieur de la Reynie," said he; "this dagger is poisoned!" + +"Is it possible?" said M. de la Reynie. + +"A prick of it would do for any man," said the Marquess. + +"You don't say so!" said M. de la Reynie. + +"I do, though; and, what is more," says the Marquess, in a terrible +voice, "if you do not instantly lay yourself flat on the ground, with +your face towards it, and your hands crossed over your back, or if +you make the slightest noise or cry, I will stick this poisoned dagger +between your ribs, as sure as my name is Cartouche?" + +At the sound of this dreadful name, M. de la Reynie sunk incontinently +down on his stomach, and submitted to be carefully gagged and corded; +after which Monsieur Cartouche laid his hands upon all the money which +was kept in the lieutenant's cabinet. Alas! and alas! many a stout +bailiff, and many an honest fellow of a spy, went, for that day, without +his pay and his victuals. + +There is a story that Cartouche once took the diligence to Lille, and +found in it a certain Abbe Potter, who was full of indignation against +this monster of a Cartouche, and said that when he went back to Paris, +which he proposed to do in about a fortnight, he should give the +lieutenant of police some information, which would infallibly lead +to the scoundrel's capture. But poor Potter was disappointed in his +designs; for, before he could fulfil them, he was made the victim of +Cartouche's cruelty. + +A letter came to the lieutenant of police, to state that Cartouche had +travelled to Lille, in company with the Abbe de Potter, of that town; +that, on the reverend gentleman's return towards Paris, Cartouche had +waylaid him, murdered him, taken his papers, and would come to Paris +himself, bearing the name and clothes of the unfortunate Abbe, by the +Lille coach, on such a day. The Lille coach arrived, was surrounded +by police agents; the monster Cartouche was there, sure enough, in the +Abbe's guise. He was seized, bound, flung into prison, brought out to be +examined, and, on examination, found to be no other than the Abbe Potter +himself! It is pleasant to read thus of the relaxations of great men, +and find them condescending to joke like the meanest of us. + +Another diligence adventure is recounted of the famous Cartouche. It +happened that he met, in the coach, a young and lovely lady, clad in +widow's weeds, and bound to Paris, with a couple of servants. The poor +thing was the widow of a rich old gentleman of Marseilles, and was going +to the capital to arrange with her lawyers, and to settle her husband's +will. The Count de Grinche (for so her fellow-passenger was called) was +quite as candid as the pretty widow had been, and stated that he was a +captain in the regiment of Nivernois; that he was going to Paris to buy +a colonelcy, which his relatives, the Duke de Bouillon, the Prince de +Montmorency, the Commandeur de la Tremoille, with all their interest at +court, could not fail to procure for him. To be short, in the course of +the four days' journey, the Count Louis Dominic de Grinche played his +cards so well, that the poor little widow half forgot her late husband; +and her eyes glistened with tears as the Count kissed her hand at +parting--at parting, he hoped, only for a few hours. + +Day and night the insinuating Count followed her; and when, at the +end of a fortnight, and in the midst of a tete-a-tete, he plunged, one +morning, suddenly on his knees, and said, "Leonora, do you love me?" the +poor thing heaved the gentlest, tenderest, sweetest sigh in the world; +and sinking her blushing head on his shoulder, whispered, "Oh, Dominic, +je t'aime! Ah!" said she, "how noble is it of my Dominic to take me +with the little I have, and he so rich a nobleman!" The fact is, the old +Baron's titles and estates had passed away to his nephews; his dowager +was only left with three hundred thousand livres, in rentes sur +l'etat--a handsome sum, but nothing to compare to the rent-roll of Count +Dominic, Count de la Grinche, Seigneur de la Haute Pigre, Baron de la +Bigorne; he had estates and wealth which might authorize him to aspire +to the hand of a duchess, at least. + +The unfortunate widow never for a moment suspected the cruel trick that +was about to be played on her; and, at the request of her affianced +husband, sold out her money, and realized it in gold, to be made over to +him on the day when the contract was to be signed. The day arrived; +and, according to the custom in France, the relations of both parties +attended. The widow's relatives, though respectable, were not of the +first nobility, being chiefly persons of the finance or the robe: there +was the president of the court of Arras, and his lady; a farmer-general; +a judge of a court of Paris; and other such grave and respectable +people. As for Monsieur le Comte de la Grinche, he was not bound for +names; and, having the whole peerage to choose from, brought a host of +Montmorencies, Crequis, De la Tours, and Guises at his back. His homme +d'affaires brought his papers in a sack, and displayed the plans of his +estates, and the titles of his glorious ancestry. The widow's lawyers +had her money in sacks; and between the gold on the one side, and the +parchments on the other, lay the contract which was to make the widow's +three hundred thousand francs the property of the Count de Grinche. The +Count de la Grinche was just about to sign; when the Marshal de Villars, +stepping up to him, said, "Captain, do you know who the president of the +court of Arras, yonder, is? It is old Manasseh, the fence, of Brussels. +I pawned a gold watch to him, which I stole from Cadogan, when I was +with Malbrook's army in Flanders." + +Here the Duc de la Roche Guyon came forward, very much alarmed. "Run me +through the body!" said his Grace, "but the comptroller-general's lady, +there, is no other than that old hag of a Margoton who keeps the ----" +Here the Duc de la Roche Guyon's voice fell. + +Cartouche smiled graciously, and walked up to the table. He took up one +of the widow's fifteen thousand gold pieces;--it was as pretty a bit of +copper as you could wish to see. "My dear," said he politely, "there is +some mistake here, and this business had better stop." + +"Count!" gasped the poor widow. + +"Count be hanged!" answered the bridegroom, sternly "my name is +CARTOUCHE!" + + + +ON SOME FRENCH FASHIONABLE NOVELS. + +WITH A PLEA FOR ROMANCES IN GENERAL. + + +There is an old story of a Spanish court painter, who, being pressed for +money, and having received a piece of damask, which he was to wear in a +state procession, pawned the damask, and appeared, at the show, dressed +out in some very fine sheets of paper, which he had painted so as +exactly to resemble silk. Nay, his coat looked so much richer than the +doublets of all the rest, that the Emperor Charles, in whose honor the +procession was given, remarked the painter, and so his deceit was found +out. + +I have often thought that, in respect of sham and real histories, a +similar fact may be noticed; the sham story appearing a great deal more +agreeable, life-like, and natural than the true one: and all who, from +laziness as well as principle, are inclined to follow the easy and +comfortable study of novels, may console themselves with the notion that +they are studying matters quite as important as history, and that their +favorite duodecimos are as instructive as the biggest quartos in the +world. + +If then, ladies, the big-wigs begin to sneer at the course of our +studies, calling our darling romances foolish, trivial, noxious to the +mind, enervators of intellect, fathers of idleness, and what not, let +us at once take a high ground, and say,--Go you to your own employments, +and to such dull studies as you fancy; go and bob for triangles, from +the Pons Asinorum; go enjoy your dull black draughts of metaphysics; +go fumble over history books, and dissert upon Herodotus and Livy; +OUR histories are, perhaps, as true as yours; our drink is the brisk +sparkling champagne drink, from the presses of Colburn, Bentley and +Co.; our walks are over such sunshiny pleasure-grounds as Scott and +Shakspeare have laid out for us; and if our dwellings are castles in +the air, we find them excessively splendid and commodious;--be not +you envious because you have no wings to fly thither. Let the big-wigs +despise us; such contempt of their neighbors is the custom of all +barbarous tribes;--witness, the learned Chinese: Tippoo Sultaun declared +that there were not in all Europe ten thousand men: the Sklavonic +hordes, it is said, so entitled themselves from a word in their jargon, +which signifies "to speak;" the ruffians imagining that they had a +monopoly of this agreeable faculty, and that all other nations were +dumb. + +Not so: others may be DEAF; but the novelist has a loud, eloquent, +instructive language, though his enemies may despise or deny it ever so +much. What is more, one could, perhaps, meet the stoutest historian on +his own ground, and argue with him; showing that sham histories were +much truer than real histories; which are, in fact, mere contemptible +catalogues of names and places, that can have no moral effect upon the +reader. + +As thus:-- + + + Julius Caesar beat Pompey, at Pharsalia. + The Duke of Marlborough beat Marshal Tallard at Blenheim. + The Constable of Bourbon beat Francis the First, at Pavia. + + +And what have we here?--so many names, simply. Suppose Pharsalia had +been, at that mysterious period when names were given, called Pavia; +and that Julius Caesar's family name had been John Churchill;--the fact +would have stood in history, thus:-- + + + "Pompey ran away from the Duke of Marlborough at Pavia." + + +And why not?--we should have been just as wise. Or it might be stated +that-- + + + "The tenth legion charged the French infantry at Blenheim; and + Caesar, writing home to his mamma, said, 'Madame, tout est perdu + fors l'honneur.'" + + +What a contemptible science this is, then, about which quartos are +written, and sixty-volumed Biographies Universelles, and Lardner's +Cabinet Cyclopaedias, and the like! the facts are nothing in it, the +names everything and a gentleman might as well improve his mind by +learning Walker's "Gazetteer," or getting by heart a fifty-years-old +edition of the "Court Guide." + +Having thus disposed of the historians, let us come to the point in +question--the novelists. + + +On the title-page of these volumes the reader has, doubtless, remarked, +that among the pieces introduced, some are announced as "copies" and +"compositions." Many of the histories have, accordingly, been neatly +stolen from the collections of French authors (and mutilated, according +to the old saying, so that their owners should not know them) and, for +compositions, we intend to favor the public with some studies of French +modern works, that have not as yet, we believe, attracted the notice of +the English public. + +Of such works there appear many hundreds yearly, as may be seen by +the French catalogues; but the writer has not so much to do with works +political, philosophical, historical, metaphysical, scientifical, +theological, as with those for which he has been putting forward a +plea--novels, namely; on which he has expended a great deal of time +and study. And passing from novels in general to French novels, let +us confess, with much humiliation, that we borrow from these stories a +great deal more knowledge of French society than from our own personal +observation we ever can hope to gain: for, let a gentleman who has +dwelt two, four, or ten years in Paris (and has not gone thither for +the purpose of making a book, when three weeks are sufficient)--let an +English gentleman say, at the end of any given period, how much he knows +of French society, how many French houses he has entered, and how many +French friends he has made?--He has enjoyed, at the end of the year, +say-- + + + At the English Ambassador's, so many soirees. + At houses to which he has brought letters, so many tea-parties. + At Cafes, so many dinners. + At French private houses, say three dinners, and very lucky too. + + +He has, we say, seen an immense number of wax candles, cups of tea, +glasses of orgeat, and French people, in best clothes, enjoying the +same; but intimacy there is none; we see but the outsides of the people. +Year by year we live in France, and grow gray, and see no more. We play +ecarte with Monsieur de Trefle every night; but what know we of the +heart of the man--of the inward ways, thoughts, and customs of Trefle? +If we have good legs, and love the amusement, we dance with Countess +Flicflac, Tuesday's and Thursdays, ever since the Peace; and how far are +we advanced in acquaintance with her since we first twirled her round a +room? We know her velvet gown, and her diamonds (about three-fourths of +them are sham, by the way); we know her smiles, and her simpers, and +her rouge--but no more: she may turn into a kitchen wench at twelve on +Thursday night, for aught we know; her voiture, a pumpkin; and her gens, +so many rats: but the real, rougeless, intime Flicflac, we know not. +This privilege is granted to no Englishman: we may understand the French +language as well as Monsieur de Levizac, but never can penetrate +into Flicflac's confidence: our ways are not her ways; our manners +of thinking, not hers: when we say a good thing, in the course of the +night, we are wondrous lucky and pleased; Flicflac will trill you off +fifty in ten minutes, and wonder at the betise of the Briton, who has +never a word to say. We are married, and have fourteen children, and +would just as soon make love to the Pope of Rome as to any one but our +own wife. If you do not make love to Flicflac, from the day after her +marriage to the day she reaches sixty, she thinks you a fool. We won't +play at ecarte with Trefle on Sunday nights; and are seen walking, about +one o'clock (accompanied by fourteen red-haired children, with fourteen +gleaming prayer-books), away from the church. "Grand Dieu!" cries +Trefle, "is that man mad? He won't play at cards on a Sunday; he goes to +church on a Sunday: he has fourteen children!" + +Was ever Frenchman known to do likewise? Pass we on to our argument, +which is, that with our English notions and moral and physical +constitution, it is quite impossible that we should become intimate +with our brisk neighbors; and when such authors as Lady Morgan and +Mrs. Trollope, having frequented a certain number of tea-parties in the +French capital, begin to prattle about French manners and men,--with all +respect for the talents of those ladies, we do believe their information +not to be worth a sixpence; they speak to us not of men but of +tea-parties. Tea-parties are the same all the world over; with the +exception that, with the French, there are more lights and prettier +dresses; and with us, a mighty deal more tea in the pot. + +There is, however, a cheap and delightful way of travelling, that a +man may perform in his easy-chair, without expense of passports or +post-boys. On the wings of a novel, from the next circulating library, +he sends his imagination a-gadding, and gains acquaintance with people +and manners whom he could not hope otherwise to know. Twopence a volume +bears us whithersoever we will;--back to Ivanhoe and Coeur de Lion, or +to Waverley and the Young Pretender, along with Walter Scott; up the +heights of fashion with the charming enchanters of the silver-fork +school; or, better still, to the snug inn-parlor, or the jovial +tap-room, with Mr. Pickwick and his faithful Sancho Weller. I am sure +that a man who, a hundred years hence should sit down to write the +history of our time, would do wrong to put that great contemporary +history of "Pickwick" aside as a frivolous work. It contains true +character under false names; and, like "Roderick Random," an inferior +work, and "Tom Jones" (one that is immeasurably superior), gives us a +better idea of the state and ways of the people than one could gather +from any more pompous or authentic histories. + +We have, therefore, introduced into these volumes one or two short +reviews of French fiction writers, of particular classes, whose Paris +sketches may give the reader some notion of manners in that capital. If +not original, at least the drawings are accurate; for, as a Frenchman +might have lived a thousand years in England, and never could have +written "Pickwick," an Englishman cannot hope to give a good description +of the inward thoughts and ways of his neighbors. + +To a person inclined to study these, in that light and amusing fashion +in which the novelist treats them, let us recommend the works of a new +writer, Monsieur de Bernard, who has painted actual manners, without +those monstrous and terrible exaggerations in which late French writers +have indulged; and who, if he occasionally wounds the English sense of +propriety (as what French man or woman alive will not?) does so more by +slighting than by outraging it, as, with their labored descriptions of +all sorts of imaginable wickedness, some of his brethren of the press +have done. M. de Bernard's characters are men and women of genteel +society--rascals enough, but living in no state of convulsive crimes; +and we follow him in his lively, malicious account of their manners, +without risk of lighting upon any such horrors as Balzac or Dumas has +provided for us. + +Let us give an instance:--it is from the amusing novel called "Les Ailes +d'Icare," and contains what is to us quite a new picture of a French +fashionable rogue. The fashions will change in a few years, and the +rogue, of course, with them. Let us catch this delightful fellow ere +he flies. It is impossible to sketch the character in a more sparkling, +gentlemanlike way than M. de Bernard's; but such light things are very +difficult of translation, and the sparkle sadly evaporates during the +process of DECANTING. + + +A FRENCH FASHIONABLE LETTER. + +"MY DEAR VICTOR--It is six in the morning: I have just come from the +English Ambassador's ball, and as my plans, for the day do not admit of +my sleeping, I write you a line; for, at this moment, saturated as I am +with the enchantments of a fairy night, all other pleasures would be too +wearisome to keep me awake, except that of conversing with you. Indeed, +were I not to write to you now, when should I find the possibility of +doing so? Time flies here with such a frightful rapidity, my pleasures +and my affairs whirl onwards together in such a torrentuous galopade, +that I am compelled to seize occasion by the forelock; for each moment +has its imperious employ. Do not then accuse me of negligence: if my +correspondence has not always that regularity which I would fain give +it, attribute the fault solely to the whirlwind in which I live, and +which carries me hither and thither at its will. + +"However, you are not the only person with whom I am behindhand: I +assure you, on the contrary, that you are one of a very numerous and +fashionable company, to whom, towards the discharge of my debts, I +propose to consecrate four hours to-day. I give you the preference to +all the world, even to the lovely Duchess of San Severino, a delicious +Italian, whom, for my special happiness, I met last summer at the Waters +of Aix. I have also a most important negotiation to conclude with one of +our Princes of Finance: but n'importe, I commence with thee: friendship +before love or money--friendship before everything. My despatches +concluded, I am engaged to ride with the Marquis de Grigneure, the +Comte de Castijars, and Lord Cobham, in order that we may recover, for a +breakfast at the Rocher de Cancale that Grigneure has lost, the appetite +which we all of us so cruelly abused last night at the Ambassador's +gala. On my honor, my dear fellow, everybody was of a caprice +prestigieux and a comfortable mirobolant. Fancy, for a banquet-hall, +a royal orangery hung with white damask; the boxes of the shrubs +transformed into so many sideboards; lights gleaming through the +foliage; and, for guests, the loveliest women and most brilliant +cavaliers of Paris. Orleans and Nemours were there, dancing and eating +like simple mortals. In a word, Albion did the thing very handsomely, +and I accord it my esteem. + +"Here I pause, to call for my valet-de-chambre, and call for tea; for +my head is heavy, and I've no time for a headache. In serving me, this +rascal of a Frederic has broken a cup, true Japan, upon my honor--the +rogue does nothing else. Yesterday, for instance, did he not thump me +prodigiously, by letting fall a goblet, after Cellini, of which the +carving alone cost me three hundred francs? I must positively put +the wretch out of doors, to ensure the safety of my furniture; and in +consequence of this, Eneas, an audacious young negro, in whom wisdom +hath not waited for years--Eneas, my groom, I say, will probably be +elevated to the post of valet-de-chambre. But where was I? I think I was +speaking to you of an oyster breakfast, to which, on our return from the +Park (du Bois), a company of pleasant rakes are invited. After quitting +Borel's, we propose to adjourn to the Barriere du Combat, where Lord +Cobham proposes to try some bull-dogs, which he has brought over from +England--one of these, O'Connell (Lord Cobham is a Tory,) has a face in +which I place much confidence; I have a bet of ten louis with Castijars +on the strength of it. After the fight, we shall make our accustomed +appearance at the 'Cafe de Paris,' (the only place, by the way, where +a man who respects himself may be seen,)--and then away with frocks and +spurs, and on with our dress-coats for the rest of the evening. In the +first place, I shall go doze for a couple of hours at the Opera, where +my presence is indispensable; for Coralie, a charming creature, passes +this evening from the rank of the RATS to that of the TIGERS, in a +pas-de-trois, and our box patronizes her. After the Opera, I must show +my face to two or three salons in the Faubourg St. Honore; and having +thus performed my duties to the world of fashion, I return to the +exercise of my rights as a member of the Carnival. At two o'clock all +the world meets at the Theatre Ventadour: lions and tigers--the whole +of our menagerie will be present. Evoe! off we go! roaring and bounding +Bacchanal and Saturnal; 'tis agreed that we shall be everything that +is low. To conclude, we sup with Castijars, the most 'furiously +dishevelled' orgy that ever was known." + + +The rest of the letter is on matters of finance, equally curious and +instructive. But pause we for the present, to consider the fashionable +part: and caricature as it is, we have an accurate picture of the actual +French dandy. Bets, breakfasts, riding, dinners at the "Cafe de Paris," +and delirious Carnival balls: the animal goes through all such frantic +pleasures at the season that precedes Lent. He has a wondrous respect +for English "gentlemen-sportsmen;" he imitates their clubs--their love +of horse-flesh: he calls his palefrenier a groom, wears blue birds's-eye +neck-cloths, sports his pink out hunting, rides steeple-chases, and has +his Jockey Club. The "tigers and lions" alluded to in the report have +been borrowed from our own country, and a great compliment is it to +Monsieur de Bernard, the writer of the above amusing sketch, that he has +such a knowledge of English names and things, as to give a Tory lord the +decent title of Lord Cobham, and to call his dog O'Connell. Paul de Kock +calls an English nobleman, in one of his last novels, Lord Boulingrog, +and appears vastly delighted at the verisimilitude of the title. + +For the "rugissements et bondissements, bacchanale et saturnale, galop +infernal, ronde du sabbat tout le tremblement," these words give a most +clear, untranslatable idea of the Carnival ball. A sight more hideous +can hardly strike a man's eye. I was present at one where the four +thousand guests whirled screaming, reeling, roaring, out of the +ball-room in the Rue St. Honore, and tore down to the column in the +Place Vendome, round which they went shrieking their own music, twenty +miles an hour, and so tore madly back again. Let a man go alone to such +a place of amusement, and the sight for him is perfectly terrible: +the horrid frantic gayety of the place puts him in mind more of the +merriment of demons than of men: bang, bang, drums, trumpets, chairs, +pistol-shots, pour out of the orchestra, which seems as mad as the +dancers; whiz, a whirlwind of paint and patches, all the costumes under +the sun, all the ranks in the empire, all the he and she scoundrels of +the capital, writhed and twisted together, rush by you; if a man falls, +woe be to him: two thousand screaming menads go trampling over his +carcass: they have neither power nor will to stop. + +A set of Malays drunk with bhang and running amuck, a company of howling +dervishes, may possibly, in our own day, go through similar frantic +vagaries; but I doubt if any civilized European people but the French +would permit and enjoy such scenes. Yet our neighbors see little shame +in them; and it is very true that men of all classes, high and low, +here congregate and give themselves up to the disgusting worship of +the genius of the place.--From the dandy of the Boulevard and the +"Cafe Anglais," let us turn to the dandy of "Flicoteau's" and the Pays +Latin--the Paris student, whose exploits among the grisettes are so +celebrated, and whose fierce republicanism keeps gendarmes for ever on +the alert. The following is M. de Bernard's description of him:-- + + +"I became acquainted with Dambergeac when we were students at the Ecole +de Droit; we lived in the same Hotel on the Place du Pantheon. No +doubt, madam, you have occasionally met little children dedicated to the +Virgin, and, to this end, clothed in white raiment from head to foot: my +friend, Dambergeac, had received a different consecration. His father, a +great patriot of the Revolution, had determined that his son should +bear into the world a sign of indelible republicanism; so, to the great +displeasure of his godmother and the parish curate, Dambergeac was +christened by the pagan name of Harmodius. It was a kind of moral +tricolor-cockade, which the child was to bear through the vicissitudes +of all the revolutions to come. Under such influences, my friend's +character began to develop itself, and, fired by the example of his +father, and by the warm atmosphere of his native place, Marseilles, +he grew up to have an independent spirit, and a grand liberality of +politics, which were at their height when first I made his acquaintance. + +"He was then a young man of eighteen, with a tall, slim figure, a broad +chest, and a flaming black eye, out of all which personal charms he knew +how to draw the most advantage; and though his costume was such as Staub +might probably have criticised, he had, nevertheless, a style peculiar +to himself--to himself and the students, among whom he was the leader +of the fashion. A tight black coat, buttoned up to the chin, across +the chest, set off that part of his person; a low-crowned hat, with +a voluminous rim, cast solemn shadows over a countenance bronzed by a +southern sun: he wore, at one time, enormous flowing black locks, which +he sacrificed pitilessly, however, and adopted a Brutus, as being more +revolutionary: finally, he carried an enormous club, that was his code +and digest: in like manner, De Retz used to carry a stiletto in his +pocket by way of a breviary. + +"Although of different ways of thinking in politics, certain sympathies +of character and conduct united Dambergeac and myself, and we speedily +became close friends. I don't think, in the whole course of his three +years' residence, Dambergeac ever went through a single course of +lectures. For the examinations, he trusted to luck, and to his own +facility, which was prodigious: as for honors, he never aimed at them, +but was content to do exactly as little as was necessary for him to +gain his degree. In like manner he sedulously avoided those horrible +circulating libraries, where daily are seen to congregate the 'reading +men' of our schools. But, in revenge, there was not a milliner's +shop, or a lingere's, in all our quartier Latin, which he did not +industriously frequent, and of which he was not the oracle. Nay, it was +said that his victories were not confined to the left bank of the +Seine; reports did occasionally come to us of fabulous adventures by him +accomplished in the far regions of the Rue de la Paix and the Boulevard +Poissonniere. Such recitals were, for us less favored mortals, like +tales of Bacchus conquering in the East; they excited our ambition, but +not our jealousy; for the superiority of Harmodius was acknowledged by +us all, and we never thought of a rivalry with him. No man ever cantered +a hack through the Champs Elysees with such elegant assurance; no man +ever made such a massacre of dolls at the shooting-gallery; or won you a +rubber at billiards with more easy grace; or thundered out a couplet out +of Beranger with such a roaring melodious bass. He was the monarch of +the Prado in winter: in summer of the Chaumiere and Mont Parnasse. Not +a frequenter of those fashionable places of entertainment showed a +more amiable laisser-aller in the dance--that peculiar dance at which +gendarmes think proper to blush, and which squeamish society has +banished from her salons. In a word, Harmodius was the prince of mauvais +sujets, a youth with all the accomplishments of Goettingen and Jena, and +all the eminent graces of his own country. + +"Besides dissipation and gallantry, our friend had one other vast and +absorbing occupation--politics, namely; in which he was as turbulent +and enthusiastic as in pleasure. La Patrie was his idol, his heaven, +his nightmare; by day he spouted, by night he dreamed, of his country. I +have spoken to you of his coiffure a la Sylla; need I mention his pipe, +his meerschaum pipe, of which General Foy's head was the bowl; his +handkerchief with the Charte printed thereon; and his celebrated +tricolor braces, which kept the rallying sign of his country ever close +to his heart? Besides these outward and visible signs of sedition, +he had inward and secret plans of revolution: he belonged to clubs, +frequented associations, read the Constitutionnel (Liberals, in those +days, swore by the Constitutionnel), harangued peers and deputies who +had deserved well of their country; and if death happened to fall on +such, and the Constitutionnel declared their merit, Harmodius was the +very first to attend their obsequies, or to set his shoulder to their +coffins. + +"Such were his tastes and passions: his antipathies were not less +lively. He detested three things: a Jesuit, a gendarme, and a claqueur +at a theatre. At this period, missionaries were rife about Paris, and +endeavored to re-illume the zeal of the faithful by public preachings in +the churches. 'Infames jesuites!' would Harmodius exclaim, who, in the +excess of his toleration, tolerated nothing; and, at the head of a band +of philosophers like himself, would attend with scrupulous exactitude +the meetings of the reverend gentlemen. But, instead of a contrite +heart, Harmodius only brought the abomination of desolation into their +sanctuary. A perpetual fire of fulminating balls would bang from under +the feet of the faithful; odors of impure assafoetida would mingle with +the fumes of the incense; and wicked drinking choruses would rise up +along with the holy canticles, in hideous dissonance, reminding one of +the old orgies under the reign of the Abbot of Unreason. + +"His hatred of the gendarmes was equally ferocious: and as for the +claqueurs, woe be to them when Harmodius was in the pit! They knew him, +and trembled before him, like the earth before Alexander; and his +famous war-cry, 'La Carte au chapeau!' was so much dreaded, that the +'entrepreneurs de succes dramatiques' demanded twice as much to do +the Odeon Theatre (which we students and Harmodius frequented), as to +applaud at any other place of amusement: and, indeed, their double pay +was hardly gained; Harmodius taking care that they should earn the most +of it under the benches." + + +This passage, with which we have taken some liberties, will give the +reader a more lively idea of the reckless, jovial, turbulent Paris +student, than any with which a foreigner could furnish him: the +grisette is his heroine; and dear old Beranger, the cynic-epicurean, has +celebrated him and her in the most delightful verses in the world. Of +these we may have occasion to say a word or two anon. Meanwhile let us +follow Monsieur de Bernard in his amusing descriptions of his countrymen +somewhat farther; and, having seen how Dambergeac was a ferocious +republican, being a bachelor, let us see how age, sense, and a little +government pay--the great agent of conversions in France--nay, in +England--has reduced him to be a pompous, quiet, loyal supporter of the +juste milieu: his former portrait was that of the student, the present +will stand for an admirable lively likeness of + + + THE SOUS-PREFET. + + +"Saying that I would wait for Dambergeac in his own study, I was +introduced into that apartment, and saw around me the usual furniture +of a man in his station. There was, in the middle of the room, a large +bureau, surrounded by orthodox arm-chairs; and there were many shelves +with boxes duly ticketed; there were a number of maps, and among them a +great one of the department over which Dambergeac ruled; and facing +the windows, on a wooden pedestal, stood a plaster-cast of the 'Roi des +Francais.' Recollecting my friend's former republicanism, I smiled at +this piece of furniture; but before I had time to carry my observations +any farther, a heavy rolling sound of carriage-wheels, that caused +the windows to rattle and seemed to shake the whole edifice of the +sub-prefecture, called my attention to the court without. Its iron gates +were flung open, and in rolled, with a great deal of din, a chariot +escorted by a brace of gendarmes, sword in hand. A tall gentleman, +with a cocked-hat and feathers, wearing a blue and silver uniform coat, +descended from the vehicle; and having, with much grave condescension, +saluted his escort, mounted the stair. A moment afterwards the door of +the study was opened, and I embraced my friend. + +"After the first warmth and salutations, we began to examine each other +with an equal curiosity, for eight years had elapsed since we had last +met. + +"'You are grown very thin and pale,' said Harmodius, after a moment. + +"'In revenge I find you fat and rosy: if I am a walking satire on +celibacy,--you, at least, are a living panegyric on marriage.' + +"In fact a great change, and such an one as many people would call a +change for the better, had taken place in my friend: he had grown fat, +and announced a decided disposition to become what French people call a +bel homme: that is, a very fat one. His complexion, bronzed before, was +now clear white and red: there were no more political allusions in his +hair, which was, on the contrary, neatly frizzed, and brushed over +the forehead, shell-shape. This head-dress, joined to a thin pair of +whiskers, cut crescent-wise from the ear to the nose, gave my friend a +regular bourgeois physiognomy, wax-doll-like: he looked a great deal too +well; and, added to this, the solemnity of his prefectural costume, gave +his whole appearance a pompous well-fed look that by no means pleased. + +"'I surprise you,' said I, 'in the midst of your splendor: do you know +that this costume and yonder attendants have a look excessively awful +and splendid? You entered your palace just now with the air of a pasha.' + +"'You see me in uniform in honor of Monseigneur the Bishop, who has just +made his diocesan visit, and whom I have just conducted to the limit of +the arrondissement.' + +"'What!' said I, 'you have gendarmes for guards, and dance attendance +on bishops? There are no more janissaries and Jesuits, I suppose?' The +sub-prefect smiled. + +"'I assure you that my gendarmes are very worthy fellows; and that among +the gentlemen who compose our clergy there are some of the very +best rank and talent: besides, my wife is niece to one of the +vicars-general.' + +"'What have you done with that great Tasso beard that poor Armandine +used to love so?' + +"'My wife does not like a beard; and you know that what is permitted to +a student is not very becoming to a magistrate.' + +"I began to laugh. 'Harmodius and a magistrate!--how shall I ever couple +the two words together? But tell me, in your correspondences, your +audiences, your sittings with village mayors and petty councils, how do +you manage to remain awake?' + +"'In the commencement,' said Harmodius, gravely, 'it WAS very difficult; +and, in order to keep my eyes open, I used to stick pins into my legs: +now, however, I am used to it; and I'm sure I don't take more than fifty +pinches of snuff at a sitting.' + +"'Ah! apropos of snuff: you are near Spain here, and were always a +famous smoker. Give me a cigar,--it will take away the musty odor of +these piles of papers.' + +"'Impossible, my dear; I don't smoke; my wife cannot bear a cigar.' + +"His wife! thought I; always his wife: and I remember Juliette, who +really grew sick at the smell of a pipe, and Harmodius would smoke, +until, at last, the poor thing grew to smoke herself, like a trooper. +To compensate, however, as much as possible for the loss of my cigar, +Dambergeac drew from his pocket an enormous gold snuff-box, on which +figured the self-same head that I had before remarked in plaster, but +this time surrounded with a ring of pretty princes and princesses, all +nicely painted in miniature. As for the statue of Louis Philippe, that, +in the cabinet of an official, is a thing of course; but the snuff-box +seemed to indicate a degree of sentimental and personal devotion, such +as the old Royalists were only supposed to be guilty of. + +"'What! you are turned decided juste milieu?' said I. + +"'I am a sous-prefet,' answered Harmodius. + +"I had nothing to say, but held my tongue, wondering, not at the change +which had taken place in the habits, manners, and opinions of my friend, +but at my own folly, which led me to fancy that I should find the +student of '26 in the functionary of '34. At this moment a domestic +appeared. + +"'Madame is waiting for Monsieur,' said he: 'the last bell has gone, and +mass beginning.' + +"'Mass!' said I, bounding up from my chair. 'You at mass like a decent +serious Christian, without crackers in your pocket, and bored keys to +whistle through?'--The sous-prefet rose, his countenance was calm, and +an indulgent smile played upon his lips, as he said, 'My arrondissement +is very devout; and not to interfere with the belief of the population +is the maxim of every wise politician: I have precise orders from +Government on the point, too, and go to eleven o'clock mass every +Sunday."' + + +There is a great deal of curious matter for speculation in the accounts +here so wittily given by M. de Bernard: but, perhaps, it is still +more curious to think of what he has NOT written, and to judge of his +characters, not so much by the words in which he describes them, as by +the unconscious testimony that the words all together convey. In the +first place, our author describes a swindler imitating the manners of a +dandy; and many swindlers and dandies be there, doubtless, in London +as well as in Paris. But there is about the present swindler, and +about Monsieur Dambergeac the student, and Monsieur Dambergeac the +sous-prefet, and his friend, a rich store of calm internal debauch, +which does not, let us hope and pray, exist in England. Hearken to M. +de Gustan, and his smirking whispers, about the Duchess of San +Severino, who pour son bonheur particulier, &c. &c. Listen to Monsieur +Dambergeac's friend's remonstrances concerning pauvre Juliette who grew +sick at the smell of a pipe; to his naive admiration at the fact that +the sous-prefet goes to church: and we may set down, as axioms, that +religion is so uncommon among the Parisians, as to awaken the surprise +of all candid observers; that gallantry is so common as to create no +remark, and to be considered as a matter of course. With us, at least, +the converse of the proposition prevails: it is the man professing +irreligion who would be remarked and reprehended in England; and, if the +second-named vice exists, at any rate, it adopts the decency of +secrecy and is not made patent and notorious to all the world. A French +gentleman thinks no more of proclaiming that he has a mistress than that +he has a tailor; and one lives the time of Boccaccio over again, in the +thousand and one French novels which depict society in that country. + +For instance, here are before us a few specimens (do not, madam, be +alarmed, you can skip the sentence if you like,) to be found in as many +admirable witty tales, by the before-lauded Monsieur de Bernard. He is +more remarkable than any other French author, to our notion, for writing +like a gentleman: there is ease, grace and ton, in his style, which, if +we judge aright, cannot be discovered in Balzac, or Soulie, or Dumas. We +have then--"Gerfaut," a novel: a lovely creature is married to a brave, +haughty, Alsacian nobleman, who allows her to spend her winters at +Paris, he remaining on his terres, cultivating, carousing, and hunting +the boar. The lovely-creature meets the fascinating Gerfaut at Paris; +instantly the latter makes love to her; a duel takes place: baron +killed; wife throws herself out of window; Gerfaut plunges into +dissipation; and so the tale ends. + +Next: "La Femme de Quarante Ans," a capital tale, full of exquisite fun +and sparkling satire: La femme de quarante ans has a husband and THREE +lovers; all of whom find out their mutual connection one starry night; +for the lady of forty is of a romantic poetical turn, and has given her +three admirers A STAR APIECE; saying to one and the other, "Alphonse, +when yon pale orb rises in heaven, think of me;" "Isadore, when that +bright planet sparkles in the sky, remember your Caroline," &c. + +"Un Acte de Vertu," from which we have taken Dambergeac's history, +contains him, the husband--a wife--and a brace of lovers; and a great +deal of fun takes place in the manner in which one lover supplants the +other.--Pretty morals truly! + +If we examine an author who rejoices in the aristocratic name of le +Comte Horace de Viel-Castel, we find, though with infinitely less wit, +exactly the same intrigues going on. A noble Count lives in the Faubourg +St. Honore, and has a noble Duchess for a mistress: he introduces her +Grace to the Countess his wife. The Countess his wife, in order to +ramener her lord to his conjugal duties, is counselled, by a friend, +TO PRETEND TO TAKE A LOVER: one is found, who, poor fellow! takes the +affair in earnest: climax--duel, death, despair, and what not? In +the "Faubourg St. Germain," another novel by the same writer, which +professes to describe the very pink of that society which Napoleon +dreaded more than Russia, Prussia, and Austria, there is an old husband, +of course; a sentimental young German nobleman, who falls in love with +his wife; and the moral of the piece lies in the showing up of the +conduct of the lady, who is reprehended--not for deceiving her husband +(poor devil!)--but for being a flirt, AND TAKING A SECOND LOVER, to the +utter despair, confusion, and annihilation of the first. + +Why, ye gods, do Frenchmen marry at all? Had Pere Enfantin (who, it +is said, has shaved his ambrosial beard, and is now a clerk in a +banking-house) been allowed to carry out his chaste, just, dignified +social scheme, what a deal of marital discomfort might have been +avoided:--would it not be advisable that a great reformer and lawgiver +of our own, Mr. Robert Owen, should be presented at the Tuileries, and +there propound his scheme for the regeneration of France? + +He might, perhaps, be spared, for our country is not yet sufficiently +advanced to give such a philosopher fair play. In London, as yet, there +are no blessed Bureaux de Mariage, where an old bachelor may have a +charming young maiden--for his money; or a widow of seventy may buy a +gay young fellow of twenty, for a certain number of bank-billets. If +mariages de convenance take place here (as they will wherever avarice, +and poverty, and desire, and yearning after riches are to be found), at +least, thank God, such unions are not arranged upon a regular organized +SYSTEM: there is a fiction of attachment with us, and there is a +consolation in the deceit ("the homage," according to the old mot of +Rochefoucauld) "which vice pays to virtue"; for the very falsehood shows +that the virtue exists somewhere. We once heard a furious old French +colonel inveighing against the chastity of English demoiselles: +"Figurez-vous, sir," said he (he had been a prisoner in England), "that +these women come down to dinner in low dresses, and walk out alone with +the men!"--and, pray heaven, so may they walk, fancy-free in all sorts +of maiden meditations, and suffer no more molestation than that young +lady of whom Moore sings, and who (there must have been a famous +lord-lieutenant in those days) walked through all Ireland, with rich +and rare gems, beauty, and a gold ring on her stick, without meeting or +thinking of harm. + +Now, whether Monsieur de Viel-Castel has given a true picture of the +Faubourg St. Germain, it is impossible for most foreigners to say; but +some of his descriptions will not fail to astonish the English reader; +and all are filled with that remarkable naif contempt of the institution +called marriage, which we have seen in M. de Bernard. The romantic young +nobleman of Westphalia arrives at Paris, and is admitted into what a +celebrated female author calls la creme de la creme de la haute volee +of Parisian society. He is a youth of about twenty years of age. +"No passion had as yet come to move his heart, and give life to his +faculties; he was awaiting and fearing the moment of love; calling for +it, and yet trembling at its approach; feeling in the depths of his +soul, that that moment would create a mighty change in his being, and +decide, perhaps, by its influence, the whole of his future life." + +Is it not remarkable, that a young nobleman, with these ideas, should +not pitch upon a demoiselle, or a widow, at least? but no, the rogue +must have a married woman, bad luck to him; and what his fate is to be, +is thus recounted by our author, in the shape of + + +A FRENCH FASHIONABLE CONVERSATION. + + +"A lady, with a great deal of esprit, to whom forty years' experience +of the great world had given a prodigious perspicacity of judgment, the +Duchess of Chalux, arbitress of the opinion to be held on all new comers +to the Faubourg Saint Germain, and of their destiny and reception in +it;--one of those women, in a word, who make or ruin a man,--said, in +speaking of Gerard de Stolberg, whom she received at her own house, and +met everywhere, 'This young German will never gain for himself the title +of an exquisite, or a man of bonnes fortunes, among us. In spite of his +calm and politeness, I think I can see in his character some rude and +insurmountable difficulties, which time will only increase, and which +will prevent him for ever from bending to the exigencies of either +profession; but, unless I very much deceive myself, he will, one day, be +the hero of a veritable romance.' + +"'He, madame?' answered a young man, of fair complexion and fair hair, +one of the most devoted slaves of the fashion:--'He, Madame la Duchesse? +why, the man is, at best, but an original, fished out of the Rhine: a +dull, heavy creature, as much capable of understanding a woman's heart +as I am of speaking bas-Breton.' + +"'Well, Monsieur de Belport, you will speak bas-Breton. Monsieur de +Stolberg has not your admirable ease of manner, nor your facility of +telling pretty nothings, nor your--in a word, that particular something +which makes you the most recherche man of the Faubourg Saint Germain; +and even I avow to you that, were I still young, and a coquette, AND +THAT I TOOK IT INTO MY HEAD TO HAVE A LOVER, I would prefer you.' + +"All this was said by the Duchess, with a certain air of raillery and +such a mixture of earnest and malice, that Monsieur de Belport, piqued +not a little, could not help saying, as he bowed profoundly before the +Duchess's chair, 'And might I, madam, be permitted to ask the reason of +this preference?' + +"'O mon Dieu, oui,' said the Duchess, always in the same tone; 'because +a lover like you would never think of carrying his attachment to the +height of passion; and these passions, do you know, have frightened me +all my life. One cannot retreat at will from the grasp of a passionate +lover; one leaves behind one some fragment of one's moral SELF, or the +best part of one's physical life. A passion, if it does not kill you, +adds cruelly to your years; in a word, it is the very lowest +possible taste. And now you understand why I should prefer you, M. de +Belport--you who are reputed to be the leader of the fashion.' + +"'Perfectly,' murmured the gentleman, piqued more and more. + +"'Gerard de Stolberg WILL be passionate. I don't know what woman will +please him, or will be pleased by him' (here the Duchess of Chalux spoke +more gravely); 'but his love will be no play, I repeat it to you once +more. All this astonishes you, because you, great leaders of the ton +that you are, never fancy that a hero of romance should be found among +your number. Gerard de Stolberg--but, look, here he comes!' + +"M. de Belport rose, and quitted the Duchess, without believing in her +prophecy; but he could not avoid smiling as he passed near the HERO OF +ROMANCE. + +"It was because M. de Stolberg had never, in all his life, been a hero +of romance, or even an apprentice-hero of romance. + +"Gerard de Stolberg was not, as yet, initiated into the thousand secrets +in the chronicle of the great world: he knew but superficially the +society in which he lived; and, therefore, he devoted his evening to +the gathering of all the information which he could acquire from the +indiscreet conversations of the people about him. His whole man became +ear and memory; so much was Stolberg convinced of the necessity of +becoming a diligent student in this new school, where was taught the art +of knowing and advancing in the great world. In the recess of a window +he learned more on this one night than months of investigation would +have taught him. The talk of a ball is more indiscreet than the +confidential chatter of a company of idle women. No man present at a +ball, whether listener or speaker, thinks he has a right to affect +any indulgence for his companions, and the most learned in malice will +always pass for the most witty. + +"'How!' said the Viscount de Mondrage: 'the Duchess of Rivesalte arrives +alone to-night, without her inevitable Dormilly!'--And the Viscount, as +he spoke, pointed towards a tall and slender young woman, who, gliding +rather than walking, met the ladies by whom she passed, with a graceful +and modest salute, and replied to the looks of the men BY BRILLIANT +VEILED GLANCES FULL OF COQUETRY AND ATTACK. + +"'Parbleu!' said an elegant personage standing near the Viscount de +Mondrage, 'don't you see Dormilly ranged behind the Duchess, in quality +of train-bearer, and hiding, under his long locks and his great screen +of moustaches, the blushing consciousness of his good luck?--They call +him THE FOURTH CHAPTER of the Duchess's memoirs. The little Marquise +d'Alberas is ready to die out of spite; but the best of the joke is, +that she has only taken poor de Vendre for a lover in order to vent +her spleen on him. Look at him against the chimney yonder; if the +Marchioness do not break at once with him by quitting him for somebody +else, the poor fellow will turn an idiot.' + +"'Is he jealous?' asked a young man, looking as if he did not know what +jealousy was and as if he had no time to be jealous. + +"'Jealous! the very incarnation of jealousy; the second edition, +revised, corrected, and considerably enlarged; as jealous as poor +Gressigny, who is dying of it.' + +"'What! Gressigny too? why, 'tis growing quite into fashion: egad! I +must try and be jealous,' said Monsieur de Beauval. 'But see! here comes +the delicious Duchess of Bellefiore,'" &c. &c. &c. + + +Enough, enough: this kind of fashionable Parisian conversation, +which is, says our author, "a prodigious labor of improvising," a +"chef-d'oeuvre," a "strange and singular thing, in which monotony is +unknown," seems to be, if correctly reported, a "strange and singular +thing" indeed; but somewhat monotonous at least to an English reader, +and "prodigious" only, if we may take leave to say so, for the wonderful +rascality which all the conversationists betray. Miss Neverout and +the Colonel, in Swift's famous dialogue, are a thousand times more +entertaining and moral; and, besides, we can laugh AT those worthies as +well as with them; whereas the "prodigious" French wits are to us quite +incomprehensible. Fancy a duchess as old as Lady ---- herself, and who +should begin to tell us "of what she would do if ever she had a mind +to take a lover;" and another duchess, with a fourth lover, tripping +modestly among the ladies, and returning the gaze of the men by +veiled glances, full of coquetry and attack!--Parbleu, if Monsieur de +Viel-Castel should find himself among a society of French duchesses, and +they should tear his eyes out, and send the fashionable Orpheus floating +by the Seine, his slaughter might almost be considered as justifiable +COUNTICIDE. + + + + +A GAMBLER'S DEATH. + + +Anybody who was at C---- school some twelve years since, must recollect +Jack Attwood: he was the most dashing lad in the place, with more money +in his pocket than belonged to the whole fifth form in which we were +companions. + +When he was about fifteen, Jack suddenly retreated from C----, and +presently we heard that he had a commission in a cavalry regiment, and +was to have a great fortune from his father, when that old gentleman +should die. Jack himself came to confirm these stories a few months +after, and paid a visit to his old school chums. He had laid aside his +little school-jacket and inky corduroys, and now appeared in such a +splendid military suit as won the respect of all of us. His hair was +dripping with oil, his hands were covered with rings, he had a dusky +down over his upper lip which looked not unlike a moustache, and a +multiplicity of frogs and braiding on his surtout which would have +sufficed to lace a field-marshal. When old Swishtail, the usher, passed +in his seedy black coat and gaiters, Jack gave him such a look of +contempt as set us all a-laughing: in fact it was his turn to laugh now; +for he used to roar very stoutly some months before, when Swishtail was +in the custom of belaboring him with his great cane. + +Jack's talk was all about the regiment and the fine fellows in it: how +he had ridden a steeple-chase with Captain Boldero, and licked him at +the last hedge; and how he had very nearly fought a duel with Sir George +Grig, about dancing with Lady Mary Slamken at a ball. "I soon made the +baronet know what it was to deal with a man of the n--th," said Jack. +"Dammee, sir, when I lugged out my barkers, and talked of fighting +across the mess-room table, Grig turned as pale as a sheet, or as--" + +"Or as you used to do, Attwood, when Swishtail hauled you up," piped out +little Hicks, the foundation-boy. + +It was beneath Jack's dignity to thrash anybody, now, but a grown-up +baronet; so he let off little Hicks, and passed over the general titter +which was raised at his expense. However, he entertained us with his +histories about lords and ladies, and so-and-so "of ours," until we +thought him one of the greatest men in his Majesty's service, and +until the school-bell rung; when, with a heavy heart, we got our books +together, and marched in to be whacked by old Swishtail. I promise you +he revenged himself on us for Jack's contempt of him. I got that day at +least twenty cuts to my share, which ought to have belonged to Cornet +Attwood, of the n--th dragoons. + +When we came to think more coolly over our quondam schoolfellow's +swaggering talk and manner, we were not quite so impressed by his merits +as at his first appearance among us. We recollected how he used, in +former times, to tell us great stories, which were so monstrously +improbable that the smallest boy in the school would scout them; how +often we caught him tripping in facts, and how unblushingly he admitted +his little errors in the score of veracity. He and I, though never great +friends, had been close companions: I was Jack's form-fellow (we fought +with amazing emulation for the LAST place in the class); but still I was +rather hurt at the coolness of my old comrade, who had forgotten all our +former intimacy, in his steeple-chases with Captain Boldero and his duel +with Sir George Grig. + +Nothing more was heard of Attwood for some years; a tailor one day came +down to C----, who had made clothes for Jack in his school-days, and +furnished him with regimentals: he produced a long bill for one hundred +and twenty pounds and upwards, and asked where news might be had of +his customer. Jack was in India, with his regiment, shooting tigers +and jackals, no doubt. Occasionally, from that distant country, some +magnificent rumor would reach us of his proceedings. Once I heard that +he had been called to a court-martial for unbecoming conduct; another +time, that he kept twenty horses, and won the gold plate at the Calcutta +races. Presently, however, as the recollections of the fifth form wore +away, Jack's image disappeared likewise, and I ceased to ask or think +about my college chum. + +A year since, as I was smoking my cigar in the "Estaminet du +Grand Balcon," an excellent smoking-shop, where the tobacco is +unexceptionable, and the Hollands of singular merit, a dark-looking, +thick-set man, in a greasy well-cut coat, with a shabby hat, cocked on +one side of his dirty face, took the place opposite me, at the little +marble table, and called for brandy. I did not much admire the impudence +or the appearance of my friend, nor the fixed stare with which he chose +to examine me. At last, he thrust a great greasy hand across the table, +and said, "Titmarsh, do you forget your old friend Attwood?" + +I confess my recognition of him was not so joyful as on the day ten +years earlier, when he had come, bedizened with lace and gold rings, to +see us at C---- school: a man in the tenth part of a century learns a +deal of worldly wisdom, and his hand, which goes naturally forward +to seize the gloved finger of a millionnaire, or a milor, draws +instinctively back from a dirty fist, encompassed by a ragged wristband +and a tattered cuff. But Attwood was in nowise so backward; and the iron +squeeze with which he shook my passive paw, proved that he was either +very affectionate or very poor. You, my dear sir, who are reading this +history, know very well the great art of shaking hands: recollect how +you shook Lord Dash's hand the other day, and how you shook OFF poor +Blank, when he came to borrow five pounds of you. + +However, the genial influence of the Hollands speedily dissipated +anything like coolness between us and, in the course of an hour's +conversation, we became almost as intimate as when we were suffering +together under the ferule of old Swishtail. Jack told me that he had +quitted the army in disgust; and that his father, who was to leave him a +fortune, had died ten thousand pounds in debt: he did not touch upon +his own circumstances; but I could read them in his elbows, which were +peeping through his old frock. He talked a great deal, however, of runs +of luck, good and bad; and related to me an infallible plan for breaking +all the play-banks in Europe--a great number of old tricks;--and a vast +quantity of gin-punch was consumed on the occasion; so long, in fact, +did our conversation continue, that, I confess it with shame, the +sentiment, or something stronger, quite got the better of me, and I +have, to this day, no sort of notion how our palaver concluded.--Only, +on the next morning, I did not possess a certain five-pound note which +on the previous evening was in my sketch-book (by far the prettiest +drawing by the way in the collection) but there, instead, was a strip of +paper, thus inscribed:-- + + +IOU Five Pounds. JOHN ATTWOOD, Late of the N--th Dragoons. + + +I suppose Attwood borrowed the money, from this remarkable and +ceremonious acknowledgment on his part: had I been sober I would just as +soon have lent him the nose on my face; for, in my then circumstances, +the note was of much more consequence to me. + +As I lay, cursing my ill fortune, and thinking how on earth I should +manage to subsist for the next two months, Attwood burst into my little +garret--his face strangely flushed--singing and shouting as if it had +been the night before. "Titmarsh," cried he, "you are my preserver!--my +best friend! Look here, and here, and here!" And at every word Mr. +Attwood produced a handful of gold, or a glittering heap of five-franc +pieces, or a bundle of greasy, dusky bank-notes, more beautiful than +either silver or gold:--he had won thirteen thousand francs after +leaving me at midnight in my garret. He separated my poor little all, of +six pieces, from this shining and imposing collection; and the passion +of envy entered my soul: I felt far more anxious now than before, +although starvation was then staring me in the face; I hated Attwood for +CHEATING me out of all this wealth. Poor fellow! it had been better for +him had he never seen a shilling of it. + +However, a grand breakfast at the Cafe Anglais dissipated my chagrin; +and I will do my friend the justice to say, that he nobly shared some +portion of his good fortune with me. As far as the creature comforts +were concerned I feasted as well as he, and never was particular as to +settling my share of the reckoning. + +Jack now changed his lodgings; had cards, with Captain Attwood engraved +on them, and drove about a prancing cab-horse, as tall as the giraffe at +the Jardin des Plantes; he had as many frogs on his coat as in the old +days, and frequented all the flash restaurateurs' and boarding-houses of +the capital. Madame de Saint Laurent, and Madame la Baronne de Vaudrey, +and Madame la Comtesse de Jonville, ladies of the highest rank, who keep +a societe choisie and condescend to give dinners at five-francs a head, +vied with each other in their attentions to Jack. His was the wing of +the fowl, and the largest portion of the Charlotte-Russe; his was the +place at the ecarte table, where the Countess would ease him nightly of +a few pieces, declaring that he was the most charming cavalier, la fleur +d'Albion. Jack's society, it may be seen, was not very select; nor, in +truth, were his inclinations: he was a careless, daredevil, Macheath +kind of fellow, who might be seen daily with a wife on each arm. + +It may be supposed that, with the life he led, his five hundred pounds +of winnings would not last him long; nor did they; but, for some time, +his luck never deserted him; and his cash, instead of growing lower, +seemed always to maintain a certain level: he played every night. + +Of course, such a humble fellow as I, could not hope for a continued +acquaintance and intimacy with Attwood. He grew overbearing and cool, I +thought; at any rate I did not admire my situation as his follower and +dependant, and left his grand dinner for a certain ordinary, where +I could partake of five capital dishes for ninepence. Occasionally, +however, Attwood favored me with a visit, or gave me a drive behind his +great cab-horse. He had formed a whole host of friends besides. There +was Fips, the barrister; heaven knows what he was doing at Paris; and +Gortz, the West Indian, who was there on the same business, and Flapper, +a medical student,--all these three I met one night at Flapper's rooms, +where Jack was invited, and a great "spread" was laid in honor of him. + +Jack arrived rather late--he looked pale and agitated; and, though he +ate no supper, he drank raw brandy in such a manner as made Flapper's +eyes wink: the poor fellow had but three bottles, and Jack bade fair to +swallow them all. However, the West Indian generously remedied the evil, +and producing a napoleon, we speedily got the change for it in the shape +of four bottles of champagne. + +Our supper was uproariously harmonious; Fips sung the good "Old English +Gentleman;" Jack the "British Grenadiers;" and your humble servant, when +called upon, sang that beautiful ditty, "When the Bloom is on the Rye," +in a manner that drew tears from every eye, except Flapper's, who was +asleep, and Jack's, who was singing the "Bay of Biscay O," at the same +time. Gortz and Fips were all the time lunging at each other with a pair +of single-sticks, the barrister having a very strong notion that he was +Richard the Third. At last Fips hit the West Indian such a blow across +his sconce, that the other grew furious; he seized a champagne-bottle, +which was, providentially, empty, and hurled it across the room at Fips: +had that celebrated barrister not bowed his head at the moment, the +Queen's Bench would have lost one of its most eloquent practitioners. + +Fips stood as straight as he could; his cheek was pale with wrath. +"M-m-ister Go-gortz," he said, "I always heard you were a blackguard; +now I can pr-pr-peperove it. Flapper, your pistols! every ge-ge-genlmn +knows what I mean." + +Young Mr. Flapper had a small pair of pocket-pistols, which the tipsy +barrister had suddenly remembered, and with which he proposed to +sacrifice the West Indian. Gortz was nothing loth, but was quite as +valorous as the lawyer. + +Attwood, who, in spite of his potations, seemed the soberest man of +the party, had much enjoyed the scene, until this sudden demand for the +weapons. "Pshaw!" said he, eagerly, "don't give these men the means of +murdering each other; sit down and let us have another song." But they +would not be still; and Flapper forthwith produced his pistol-case, and +opened it, in order that the duel might take place on the spot. There +were no pistols there! "I beg your pardon," said Attwood, looking much +confused; "I--I took the pistols home with me to clean them!" + +I don't know what there was in his tone, or in the words, but we were +sobered all of a sudden. Attwood was conscious of the singular effect +produced by him, for he blushed, and endeavored to speak of other +things, but we could not bring our spirits back to the mark again, and +soon separated for the night. As we issued into the street Jack took me +aside, and whispered, "Have you a napoleon, Titmarsh, in your purse?" +Alas! I was not so rich. My reply was, that I was coming to Jack, only +in the morning, to borrow a similar sum. + +He did not make any reply, but turned away homeward: I never heard him +speak another word. + + +Two mornings after (for none of our party met on the day succeeding the +supper), I was awakened by my porter, who brought a pressing letter from +Mr. Gortz:-- + + +"DEAR T.,--I wish you would come over here to breakfast. There's a row +about Attwood.--Yours truly, + +"SOLOMON GORTZ." + + +I immediately set forward to Gortz's; he lived in the Rue du Helder, a +few doors from Attwood's new lodging. If the reader is curious to know +the house in which the catastrophe of this history took place, he has +but to march some twenty doors down from the Boulevard des Italiens, +when he will see a fine door, with a naked Cupid shooting at him from +the hall, and a Venus beckoning him up the stairs. On arriving at the +West Indian's, at about mid-day (it was a Sunday morning), I found that +gentleman in his dressing-gown, discussing, in the company of Mr Fips, a +large plate of bifteck aux pommes. + +"Here's a pretty row!" said Gortz, quoting from his letter;--"Attwood's +off--have a bit of beefsteak?" + +"What do you mean?" exclaimed I, adopting the familiar phraseology of my +acquaintances:--"Attwood off?--has he cut his stick?" + +"Not bad," said the feeling and elegant Fips--"not such a bad guess, my +boy; but he has not exactly CUT HIS STICK." + +"What then?" + +"WHY, HIS THROAT." The man's mouth was full of bleeding beef as he +uttered this gentlemanly witticism. + +I wish I could say that I was myself in the least affected by the +news. I did not joke about it like my friend Fips; this was more for +propriety's sake than for feeling's: but for my old school acquaintance, +the friend of my early days, the merry associate of the last few months, +I own, with shame, that I had not a tear or a pang. In some German tale +there is an account of a creature most beautiful and bewitching, whom +all men admire and follow; but this charming and fantastic spirit only +leads them, one by one, into ruin, and then leaves them. The novelist, +who describes her beauty, says that his heroine is a fairy, and HAS NO +HEART. I think the intimacy which is begotten over the wine-bottle, is +a spirit of this nature; I never knew a good feeling come from it, or an +honest friendship made by it; it only entices men and ruins them; it +is only a phantom of friendship and feeling, called up by the delirious +blood, and the wicked spells of the wine. + +But to drop this strain of moralizing (in which the writer is not too +anxious to proceed, for he cuts in it a most pitiful figure), we passed +sundry criticisms upon poor Attwood's character, expressed our horror +at his death--which sentiment was fully proved by Mr. Fips, who declared +that the notion of it made him feel quite faint, and was obliged to +drink a large glass of brandy; and, finally, we agreed that we would go +and see the poor fellow's corpse, and witness, if necessary, his burial. + +Flapper, who had joined us, was the first to propose this visit: he said +he did not mind the fifteen francs which Jack owed him for billiards, +but he was anxious to GET BACK HIS PISTOL. Accordingly, we sallied +forth, and speedily arrived at the hotel which Attwood inhabited still. +He had occupied, for a time, very fine apartments in this house: and it +was only on arriving there that day that we found he had been gradually +driven from his magnificent suite of rooms au premier, to a little +chamber in the fifth story:--we mounted, and found him. It was a little +shabby room, with a few articles of rickety furniture, and a bed in an +alcove; the light from the one window was falling full upon the bed and +the body. Jack was dressed in a fine lawn shirt; he had kept it, poor +fellow, TO DIE IN; for in all his drawers and cupboards there was not a +single article of clothing; he had pawned everything by which he could +raise a penny--desk, books, dressing-case, and clothes; and not a single +halfpenny was found in his possession.* + + * In order to account for these trivial details, the reader + must be told that the story is, for the chief part, a fact; + and that the little sketch in this page was TAKEN FROM + NATURE. The latter was likewise a copy from one found in the + manner described. + +He was lying as I have drawn him,* one hand on his breast, the other +falling towards the ground. There was an expression of perfect calm on +the face, and no mark of blood to stain the side towards the light. On +the other side, however, there was a great pool of black blood, and in +it the pistol; it looked more like a toy than a weapon to take away the +life of this vigorous young man. In his forehead, at the side, was a +small black wound; Jack's life had passed through it; it was little +bigger than a mole. + + + * This refers to an illustrated edition of the work. + + +"Regardez un peu," said the landlady, "messieurs, il m'a gate trois +matelas, et il me doit quarante quatre francs." + +This was all his epitaph: he had spoiled three mattresses, and owed the +landlady four-and-forty francs. In the whole world there was not a soul +to love him or lament him. We, his friends, were looking at his body +more as an object of curiosity, watching it with a kind of interest with +which one follows the fifth act of a tragedy, and leaving it with the +same feeling with which one leaves the theatre when the play is over and +the curtain is down. + +Beside Jack's bed, on his little "table de nuit," lay the remains of +his last meal, and an open letter, which we read. It was from one of his +suspicious acquaintances of former days, and ran thus:-- + + +"Ou es tu, cher Jack? why you not come and see me--tu me dois de +l'argent, entends tu?--un chapeau, une cachemire, a box of the Play. +Viens demain soir, je t'attendrai at eight o'clock, Passage des +Panoramas. My Sir is at his country. + +"Adieu a demain. + +"Fifine. + +"Samedi." + + +I shuddered as I walked through this very Passage des Panoramas, in +the evening. The girl was there, pacing to and fro, and looking in +the countenance of every passer-by, to recognize Attwood. "ADIEU A +DEMAIN!"--there was a dreadful meaning in the words, which the writer of +them little knew. "Adieu a demain!"--the morrow was come, and the soul +of the poor suicide was now in the presence of God. I dare not think of +his fate; for, except in the fact of his poverty and desperation, was he +worse than any of us, his companions, who had shared his debauches, and +marched with him up to the very brink of the grave? + +There is but one more circumstance to relate regarding poor Jack--his +burial; it was of a piece with his death. + +He was nailed into a paltry coffin and buried, at the expense of the +arrondissement, in a nook of the burial-place beyond the Barriere de +l'Etoile. They buried him at six o'clock, of a bitter winter's morning, +and it was with difficulty that an English clergyman could be found to +read a service over his grave. The three men who have figured in this +history acted as Jack's mourners; and as the ceremony was to take place +so early in the morning, these men sat up the night through, AND WERE +ALMOST DRUNK as they followed his coffin to its resting-place. + + +MORAL. + + +"When we turned out in our great-coats," said one of them afterwards, +"reeking of cigars and brandy-and-water, d--e, sir, we quite frightened +the old buck of a parson; he did not much like our company." After the +ceremony was concluded, these gentlemen were very happy to get home to +a warm and comfortable breakfast, and finished the day royally at +Frascati's. + + + + +NAPOLEON AND HIS SYSTEM. + +ON PRINCE LOUIS NAPOLEON'S WORK. + + +Any person who recollects the history of the absurd outbreak of +Strasburg, in which Prince Louis Napoleon Bonaparte figured, three years +ago, must remember that, however silly the revolt was, however, foolish +its pretext, however doubtful its aim, and inexperienced its leader, +there was, nevertheless, a party, and a considerable one in France, that +were not unwilling to lend the new projectors their aid. The troops +who declared against the Prince, were, it was said, all but willing to +declare for him; and it was certain that, in many of the regiments of +the army, there existed a strong spirit of disaffection, and an eager +wish for the return of the imperial system and family. + +As to the good that was to be derived from the change, that is another +question. Why the Emperor of the French should be better than the King +of the French, or the King of the French better than the King of France +and Navarre, it is not our business to inquire; but all the three +monarchs have no lack of supporters; republicanism has no lack of +supporters; St. Simoninnism was followed by a respectable body of +admirers; Robespierrism has a select party of friends. If, in a country +where so many quacks have had their day, Prince Louis Napoleon thought +he might renew the imperial quackery, why should he not? It has +recollections with it that must always be dear to a gallant nation; it +has certain claptraps in its vocabulary that can never fail to inflame a +vain, restless, grasping, disappointed one. + +In the first place, and don't let us endeavor to disguise it, they hate +us. Not all the protestations of friendship, not all the wisdom of Lord +Palmerston, not all the diplomacy of our distinguished plenipotentiary, +Mr. Henry Lytton Bulwer--and let us add, not all the benefit which both +countries would derive from the alliance--can make it, in our times at +least, permanent and cordial. They hate us. The Carlist organs revile +us with a querulous fury that never sleeps; the moderate party, if they +admit the utility of our alliance, are continually pointing out our +treachery, our insolence, and our monstrous infractions of it; and for +the Republicans, as sure as the morning comes, the columns of their +journals thunder out volleys of fierce denunciations against our +unfortunate country. They live by feeding the natural hatred against +England, by keeping old wounds open, by recurring ceaselessly to the +history of old quarrels, and as in these we, by God's help, by land and +by sea, in old times and late, have had the uppermost, they perpetuate +the shame and mortification of the losing party, the bitterness of past +defeats, and the eager desire to avenge them. A party which knows how +to exploiter this hatred will always be popular to a certain extent; and +the imperial scheme has this, at least, among its conditions. + +Then there is the favorite claptrap of the "natural frontier." The +Frenchman yearns to be bounded by the Rhine and the Alps; and next +follows the cry, "Let France take her place among nations, and direct, +as she ought to do, the affairs of Europe." These are the two chief +articles contained in the new imperial programme, if we may credit the +journal which has been established to advocate the cause. A natural +boundary--stand among the nations--popular development--Russian +alliance, and a reduction of la perfide Albion to its proper +insignificance. As yet we know little more of the plan: and yet such +foundations are sufficient to build a party upon, and with such windy +weapons a substantial Government is to be overthrown! + +In order to give these doctrines, such as they are, a chance of finding +favor with his countrymen, Prince Louis has the advantage of being able +to refer to a former great professor of them--his uncle Napoleon. His +attempt is at once pious and prudent; it exalts the memory of the uncle, +and furthers the interests of the nephew, who attempts to show what +Napoleon's ideas really were; what good had already resulted from the +practice of them; how cruelly they had been thwarted by foreign wars and +difficulties; and what vast benefits WOULD have resulted from them; ay, +and (it is reasonable to conclude) might still, if the French nation +would be wise enough to pitch upon a governor that would continue the +interrupted scheme. It is, however, to be borne in mind that the Emperor +Napoleon had certain arguments in favor of his opinions for the time +being, which his nephew has not employed. On the 13th Vendemiaire, when +General Bonaparte believed in the excellence of a Directory, it may be +remembered that he aided his opinions by forty pieces of artillery, and +by Colonel Murat at the head of his dragoons. There was no resisting +such a philosopher; the Directory was established forthwith, and the +sacred cause of the minority triumphed, in like manner, when the General +was convinced of the weakness of the Directory, and saw fully the +necessity of establishing a Consulate, what were his arguments? Moreau, +Lannes, Murat, Berthier, Leclerc, Lefebvre--gentle apostles of the +truth!--marched to St. Cloud, and there, with fixed bayonets, caused it +to prevail. Error vanished in an instant. At once five hundred of its +high-priests tumbled out of windows, and lo! three Consuls appeared to +guide the destinies of France! How much more expeditious, reasonable, +and clinching was this argument of the 18th Brumaire, than any one that +can be found in any pamphlet! A fig for your duodecimos and octavos! +Talk about points, there are none like those at the end of a bayonet; +and the most powerful of styles is a good rattling "article" from a +nine-pounder. + +At least this is our interpretation of the manner in which were always +propagated the Idees Napoleoniennes. Not such, however, is Prince +Louis's belief; and, if you wish to go along with him in opinion, you +will discover that a more liberal, peaceable, prudent Prince never +existed: you will read that "the mission of Napoleon" was to be the +"testamentary executor of the revolution;" and the Prince should have +added the legatee; or, more justly still, as well as the EXECUTOR, he +should be called the EXECUTIONER, and then his title would be complete. +In Vendemiaire, the military Tartuffe, he threw aside the Revolution's +natural heirs, and made her, as it were, ALTER HER WILL; on the 18th of +Brumaire he strangled her, and on the 19th seized on her property, and +kept it until force deprived him of it. Illustrations, to be sure, are +no arguments, but the example is the Prince's, not ours. + +In the Prince's eyes, then, his uncle is a god; of all monarchs, the +most wise, upright, and merciful. Thirty years ago the opinion had +millions of supporters; while millions again were ready to avouch the +exact contrary. It is curious to think of the former difference of +opinion concerning Napoleon; and, in reading his nephew's rapturous +encomiums of him, one goes back to the days when we ourselves were as +loud and mad in his dispraise. Who does not remember his own personal +hatred and horror, twenty-five years ago, for the man whom we used to +call the "bloody Corsican upstart and assassin?" What stories did we +not believe of him?--what murders, rapes, robberies, not lay to his +charge?--we who were living within a few miles of his territory, and +might, by books and newspapers, be made as well acquainted with his +merits or demerits as any of his own countrymen. + +Then was the age when the Idees Napoleoniennes might have passed through +many editions; for while we were thus outrageously bitter, our neighbors +were as extravagantly attached to him by a strange infatuation--adored +him like a god, whom we chose to consider as a fiend; and vowed that, +under his government, their nation had attained its highest pitch of +grandeur and glory. In revenge there existed in England (as is proved +by a thousand authentic documents) a monster so hideous, a tyrant so +ruthless and bloody, that the world's history cannot show his parallel. +This ruffian's name was, during the early part of the French revolution, +Pittetcobourg. Pittetcobourg's emissaries were in every corner of +France; Pittetcobourg's gold chinked in the pockets of every traitor in +Europe; it menaced the life of the godlike Robespierre; it drove into +cellars and fits of delirium even the gentle philanthropist Marat; it +fourteen times caused the dagger to be lifted against the bosom of +the First Consul, Emperor, and King,--that first, great, glorious, +irresistible, cowardly, contemptible, bloody hero and fiend, Bonaparte, +before mentioned. + +On our side of the Channel we have had leisure, long since, to +re-consider our verdict against Napoleon; though, to be sure, we have +not changed our opinion about Pittetcobourg. After five-and-thirty years +all parties bear witness to his honesty, and speak with affectionate +reverence of his patriotism, his genius, and his private virtue. In +France, however, or, at least among certain parties in France, there +has been no such modification of opinion. With the Republicans, +Pittetcobourg is Pittetcobourg still,--crafty, bloody, seeking whom he +may devour; and perfide Albion more perfidious than ever. This hatred +is the point of union between the Republic and the Empire; it has been +fostered ever since, and must be continued by Prince Louis, if he would +hope to conciliate both parties. + +With regard to the Emperor, then, Prince Louis erects to his memory +as fine a monument as his wits can raise. One need not say that the +imperial apologist's opinion should be received with the utmost caution; +for a man who has such a hero for an uncle may naturally be proud of and +partial to him; and when this nephew of the great man would be his heir +likewise, and, hearing his name, step also into his imperial shoes, one +may reasonably look for much affectionate panegyric. "The empire was the +best of empires," cries the Prince; and possibly it was; undoubtedly, +the Prince thinks it was; but he is the very last person who would +convince a man with the proper suspicious impartiality. One remembers +a certain consultation of politicians which is recorded in the +Spelling-book; and the opinion of that patriotic sage who avowed that, +for a real blameless constitution, an impenetrable shield for liberty, +and cheap defence of nations, there was nothing like leather. + +Let us examine some of the Prince's article. If we may be allowed humbly +to express an opinion, his leather is not only quite insufficient for +those vast public purposes for which he destines it, but is, moreover, +and in itself, very BAD LEATHER. The hides are poor, small, unsound +slips of skin; or, to drop this cobbling metaphor, the style is not +particularly brilliant, the facts not very startling, and, as for the +conclusions, one may differ with almost every one of them. Here is an +extract from his first chapter, "on governments in general:"-- + +"I speak it with regret, I can see but two governments, at this day, +which fulfil the mission that Providence has confided to them; they are +the two colossi at the end of the world; one at the extremity of the old +world, the other at the extremity of the new. Whilst our old European +centre is as a volcano, consuming itself in its crater, the two nations +of the East and the West, march without hesitation, towards perfection; +the one under the will of a single individual, the other under liberty. + +"Providence has confided to the United States of North America the task +of peopling and civilizing that immense territory which stretches from +the Atlantic to the South Sea, and from the North Pole to the Equator. +The Government, which is only a simple administration, has only hitherto +been called upon to put in practice the old adage, Laissez faire, +laissez passer, in order to favor that irresistible instinct which +pushes the people of America to the west. + +"In Russia it is to the imperial dynasty that is owing all the vast +progress which, in a century and a half, has rescued that empire from +barbarism. The imperial power must contend against all the ancient +prejudices of our old Europe: it must centralize, as far as possible, +all the powers of the state in the hands of one person, in order to +destroy the abuses which the feudal and communal franchises have +served to perpetuate. The last alone can hope to receive from it the +improvements which it expects. + +"But thou, France of Henry IV., of Louis XIV., of Carnot, of +Napoleon--thou, who wert always for the west of Europe the source of +progress, who possessest in thyself the two great pillars of empire, the +genius for the arts of peace and the genius of war--hast thou no further +mission to fulfil? Wilt thou never cease to waste thy force and energies +in intestine struggles? No; such cannot be thy destiny: the day will +soon come, when, to govern thee, it will be necessary to understand that +thy part is to place in all treaties thy sword of Brennus on the side of +civilization." + +These are the conclusions of the Prince's remarks upon governments in +general; and it must be supposed that the reader is very little wiser at +the end than at the beginning. But two governments in the world fulfil +their mission: the one government, which is no government; the other, +which is a despotism. The duty of France is IN ALL TREATIES to place her +sword of Brennus in the scale of civilization. Without quarrelling with +the somewhat confused language of the latter proposition, may we ask +what, in heaven's name, is the meaning of all the three? What is this +epee de Brennus? and how is France to use it? Where is the great +source of political truth, from which, flowing pure, we trace American +republicanism in one stream, Russian despotism in another? Vastly +prosperous is the great republic, if you will: if dollars and cents +constitute happiness, there is plenty for all: but can any one, who has +read of the American doings in the late frontier troubles, and the daily +disputes on the slave question, praise the GOVERNMENT of the States?--a +Government which dares not punish homicide or arson performed before its +very eyes, and which the pirates of Texas and the pirates of Canada can +brave at their will? There is no government, but a prosperous anarchy; +as the Prince's other favorite government is a prosperous slavery. What, +then, is to be the epee de Brennus government? Is it to be a mixture +of the two? "Society," writes the Prince, axiomatically, "contains in +itself two principles--the one of progress and immortality, the other +of disease and disorganization." No doubt; and as the one tends towards +liberty, so the other is only to be cured by order: and then, with a +singular felicity, Prince Louis picks us out a couple of governments, in +one of which the common regulating power is as notoriously too weak, +as it is in the other too strong, and talks in rapturous terms of the +manner in which they fulfil their "providential mission!" + +From these considerations on things in general, the Prince conducts us +to Napoleon in particular, and enters largely into a discussion of the +merits of the imperial system. Our author speaks of the Emperor's advent +in the following grandiose way:-- + +"Napoleon, on arriving at the public stage, saw that his part was to +be the TESTAMENTARY EXECUTOR of the Revolution. The destructive fire of +parties was extinct; and when the Revolution, dying, but not vanquished, +delegated to Napoleon the accomplishment of her last will, she said to +him, 'Establish upon solid bases the principal result of my efforts. +Unite divided Frenchmen. Defeat feudal Europe that is leagued against +me. Cicatrize my wounds. Enlighten the nations. Execute that in width, +which I have had to perform in depth. Be for Europe what I have been for +France. And, even if you must water the tree of civilization with +your blood--if you must see your projects misunderstood, and your sons +without a country, wandering over the face of the earth, never abandon +the sacred cause of the French people. Insure its triumph by all the +means which genius can discover and humanity approve.' + +"This grand mission Napoleon performed to the end. His task was +difficult. He had to place upon new principles a society still +boiling with hatred and revenge; and to use, for building up, the same +instruments which had been employed for pulling down. + +"The common lot of every new truth that arises, is to wound rather +than to convince--rather than to gain proselytes, to awaken fear. For, +oppressed as it long has been, it rushes forward with additional force; +having to encounter obstacles, it is compelled to combat them, and +overthrow them; until, at length, comprehended and adopted by the +generality, it becomes the basis of new social order. + +"Liberty will follow the same march as the Christian religion. Armed +with death from the ancient society of Rome, it for a long while excited +the hatred and fear of the people. At last, by force of martyrdoms and +persecutions, the religion of Christ penetrated into the conscience and +the soul; it soon had kings and armies at its orders, and Constantine +and Charlemagne bore it triumphant throughout Europe. Religion then laid +down her arms of war. It laid open to all the principles of peace and +order which it contained; it became the prop of Government, as it was +the organizing element of society. Thus will it be with liberty. In 1793 +it frightened people and sovereigns alike; then, having clothed itself +in a milder garb, IT INSINUATED ITSELF EVERYWHERE IN THE TRAIN OF OUR +BATTALIONS. In 1815 all parties adopted its flag, and armed themselves +with its moral force--covered themselves with its colors. The adoption +was not sincere, and liberty was soon obliged to reassume its warlike +accoutrements. With the contest their fears returned. Let us hope that +they will soon cease, and that liberty will soon resume her peaceful +standards, to quit them no more. + +"The Emperor Napoleon contributed more than any one else towards +accelerating the reign of liberty, by saving the moral influence of +the revolution, and diminishing the fears which it imposed. Without the +Consulate and the Empire, the revolution would have been only a grand +drama, leaving grand revolutions but no traces: the revolution would +have been drowned in the counter-revolution. The contrary, however, +was the case. Napoleon rooted the revolution in France, and introduced, +throughout Europe, the principal benefits of the crisis of 1789. To +use his own words, 'He purified the revolution, he confirmed kings, and +ennobled people.' He purified the revolution, in separating the +truths which it contained from the passions that, during its delirium, +disfigured it. He ennobled the people in giving them the consciousness +of their force, and those institutions which raise men in their own +eyes. The Emperor may be considered as the Messiah of the new ideas; +for--and we must confess it--in the moments immediately succeeding a +social revolution, it is not so essential to put rigidly into practice +all the propositions resulting from the new theory, but to become master +of the regenerative genius, to identify one's self with the sentiments +of the people, and boldly to direct them towards the desired point. To +accomplish such a task YOUR FIBRE SHOULD RESPOND TO THAT OF THE PEOPLE, +as the Emperor said; you should feel like it, your interests should +be so intimately raised with its own, that you should vanquish or fall +together." + +Let us take breath after these big phrases,--grand round figures +of speech,--which, when put together, amount like certain other +combinations of round figures to exactly 0. We shall not stop to argue +the merits and demerits of Prince Louis's notable comparison between the +Christian religion and the Imperial-revolutionary system. There are +many blunders in the above extract as we read it; blundering metaphors, +blundering arguments, and blundering assertions; but this is surely +the grandest blunder of all; and one wonders at the blindness of the +legislator and historian who can advance such a parallel. And what are +we to say of the legacy of the dying revolution to Napoleon? Revolutions +do not die, and, on their death-beds, making fine speeches, hand over +their property to young officers of artillery. We have all read the +history of his rise. The constitution of the year III. was carried. Old +men of the Montagne, disguised royalists, Paris sections, PITTETCOBOURG, +above all, with his money-bags, thought that here was a fine opportunity +for a revolt, and opposed the new constitution in arms: the new +constitution had knowledge of a young officer who would not hesitate to +defend its cause, and who effectually beat the majority. The tale may be +found in every account of the revolution, and the rest of his story need +not be told. We know every step that he took: we know how, by doses +of cannon-balls promptly administered, he cured the fever of the +sections--that fever which another camp-physician (Menou) declined +to prescribe for; we know how he abolished the Directory; and how the +Consulship came; and then the Empire; and then the disgrace, exile, +and lonely death. Has not all this been written by historians in all +tongues?--by memoir-writing pages, chamberlains, marshals, lackeys, +secretaries, contemporaries, and ladies of honor? Not a word of miracle +is there in all this narration; not a word of celestial missions, +or political Messiahs. From Napoleon's rise to his fall, the bayonet +marches alongside of him: now he points it at the tails of the +scampering "five hundred,"--now he charges with it across the bloody +planks of Arcola--now he flies before it over the fatal plain of +Waterloo. + +Unwilling, however, as he may be to grant that there are any spots in +the character of his hero's government, the Prince is, nevertheless, +obliged to allow that such existed; that the Emperor's manner of +rule was a little more abrupt and dictatorial than might possibly be +agreeable. For this the Prince has always an answer ready--it is the +same poor one that Napoleon uttered a million of times to his companions +in exile--the excuse of necessity. He WOULD have been very liberal, but +that the people were not fit for it; or that the cursed war prevented +him--or any other reason why. His first duty, however, says his +apologist, was to form a general union of Frenchmen, and he set about +his plan in this wise:-- + +"Let us not forget, that all which Napoleon undertook, in order to +create a general fusion, he performed without renouncing the principles +of the revolution. He recalled the emigres, without touching upon +the law by which their goods had been confiscated and sold as public +property. He reestablished the Catholic religion at the same time +that he proclaimed the liberty of conscience, and endowed equally the +ministers of all sects. He caused himself to be consecrated by the +Sovereign Pontiff, without conceding to the Pope's demand any of the +liberties of the Gallican church. He married a daughter of the Emperor +of Austria, without abandoning any of the rights of France to the +conquests she had made. He reestablished noble titles, without attaching +to them any privileges or prerogatives, and these titles were conferred +on all ranks, on all services, on all professions. Under the empire +all idea of caste was destroyed; no man ever thought of vaunting his +pedigree--no man ever was asked how he was born, but what he had done. + +"The first quality of a people which aspires to liberal government, +is respect to the law. Now, a law has no other power than lies in the +interest which each citizen has to defend or to contravene it. In order +to make a people respect the law, it was necessary that it should be +executed in the interest of all, and should consecrate the principle of +equality in all its extension. It was necessary to restore the prestige +with which the Government had been formerly invested, and to make the +principles of the revolution take root in the public manners. At +the commencement of a new society, it is the legislator who makes or +corrects the manners; later, it is the manners which make the law, or +preserve it from age to age intact." + +Some of these fusions are amusing. No man in the empire was asked how +he was born, but what he had done; and, accordingly, as a man's actions +were sufficient to illustrate him, the Emperor took care to make a host +of new title-bearers, princes, dukes, barons, and what not, whose rank +has descended to their children. He married a princess of Austria; but, +for all that, did not abandon his conquests--perhaps not actually; but +he abandoned his allies, and, eventually, his whole kingdom. Who does +not recollect his answer to the Poles, at the commencement of the +Russian campaign? But for Napoleon's imperial father-in-law, Poland +would have been a kingdom, and his race, perhaps, imperial still. Why +was he to fetch this princess out of Austria to make heirs for his +throne? Why did not the man of the people marry a girl of the people? +Why must he have a Pope to crown him--half a dozen kings for brothers, +and a bevy of aides-de-camp dressed out like so many mountebanks from +Astley's, with dukes' coronets, and grand blue velvet marshals' +batons? We have repeatedly his words for it. He wanted to create an +aristocracy--another acknowledgment on his part of the Republican +dilemma--another apology for the revolutionary blunder. To keep the +republic within bounds, a despotism is necessary; to rally round the +despotism, an aristocracy must be created; and for what have we been +laboring all this while? for what have bastiles been battered down, and +king's heads hurled, as a gage of battle, in the face of armed Europe? +To have a Duke of Otranto instead of a Duke de la Tremouille, and +Emperor Stork in place of King Log. O lame conclusion! Is the blessed +revolution which is prophesied for us in England only to end in +establishing a Prince Fergus O'Connor, or a Cardinal Wade, or a Duke +Daniel Whittle Harvey? Great as those patriots are, we love them better +under their simple family names, and scorn titles and coronets. + +At present, in France, the delicate matter of titles seems to be better +arranged, any gentleman, since the Revolution, being free to adopt any +one he may fix upon; and it appears that the Crown no longer confers any +patents of nobility, but contents itself with saying, as in the case of +M. de Pontois, the other day, "Le Roi trouve convenable that you take +the title of," &c. + +To execute the legacy of the revolution, then; to fulfil his +providential mission; to keep his place,--in other words, for the +simplest are always the best,--to keep his place, and to keep his +Government in decent order, the Emperor was obliged to establish a +military despotism, to re-establish honors and titles; it was necessary, +as the Prince confesses, to restore the old prestige of the Government, +in order to make the people respect it; and he adds--a truth which one +hardly would expect from him,--"At the commencement of a new society, it +is the legislator who makes and corrects the manners; later, it is the +manners which preserve the laws." Of course, and here is the great risk +that all revolutionizing people run--they must tend to despotism; +"they must personify themselves in a man," is the Prince's phrase; and, +according as is his temperament or disposition--according as he is a +Cromwell, a Washington, or a Napoleon--the revolution becomes tyranny or +freedom, prospers or falls. + +Somewhere in the St. Helena memorials, Napoleon reports a message of +his to the Pope. "Tell the Pope," he says to an archbishop, "to remember +that I have six hundred thousand armed Frenchmen, qui marcheront avec +moi, pour moi, et comme moi." And this is the legacy of the revolution, +the advancement of freedom! A hundred volumes of imperial special +pleading will not avail against such a speech as this--one so insolent, +and at the same time so humiliating, which gives unwittingly the whole +of the Emperor's progress, strength, and weakness. The six hundred +thousand armed Frenchmen were used up, and the whole fabric falls; the +six hundred thousand are reduced to sixty thousand, and straightway all +the rest of the fine imperial scheme vanishes: the miserable senate, so +crawling and abject but now, becomes of a sudden endowed with a wondrous +independence; the miserable sham nobles, sham empress, sham kings, +dukes, princes, chamberlains, pack up their plumes and embroideries, +pounce upon what money and plate they can lay their hands on, and when +the allies appear before Paris, when for courage and manliness there +is yet hope, when with fierce marches hastening to the relief of his +capital, bursting through ranks upon ranks of the enemy, and crushing or +scattering them from the path of his swift and victorious despair, the +Emperor at last is at home,--where are the great dignitaries and the +lieutenant-generals of the empire? Where is Maria Louisa, the Empress +Eagle, with her little callow king of Rome? Is she going to defend her +nest and her eaglet? Not she. Empress-queen, lieutenant-general, and +court dignitaries, are off on the wings of all the winds--profligati +sunt, they are away with the money-bags, and Louis Stanislas Xavier +rolls into the palace of his fathers. + +With regard to Napoleon's excellences as an administrator, a legislator, +a constructor of public works, and a skilful financier, his nephew +speaks with much diffuse praise, and few persons, we suppose, will be +disposed to contradict him. Whether the Emperor composed his famous +code, or borrowed it, is of little importance; but he established it, +and made the law equal for every man in France except one. His vast +public works and vaster wars were carried on without new loans or +exorbitant taxes; it was only the blood and liberty of the people that +were taxed, and we shall want a better advocate than Prince Louis to +show us that these were not most unnecessarily and lavishly thrown away. +As for the former and material improvements, it is not necessary to +confess here that a despotic energy can effect such far more readily +than a Government of which the strength is diffused in many conflicting +parties. No doubt, if we could create a despotical governing machine, a +steam autocrat,--passionless, untiring, and supreme,--we should advance +further, and live more at ease than under any other form of government. +Ministers might enjoy their pensions and follow their own devices; +Lord John might compose histories or tragedies at his leisure, and Lord +Palmerston, instead of racking his brains to write leading articles +for Cupid, might crown his locks with flowers, and sing [Greek text +omitted], his natural Anacreontics; but alas! not so: if the despotic +Government has its good side, Prince Louis Napoleon must acknowledge +that it has its bad, and it is for this that the civilized world +is compelled to substitute for it something more orderly and less +capricious. Good as the Imperial Government might have been, it must be +recollected, too, that since its first fall, both the Emperor and his +admirer and would-be successor have had their chance of re-establishing +it. "Fly from steeple to steeple" the eagles of the former did actually, +and according to promise perch for a while on the towers of Notre Dame. +We know the event: if the fate of war declared against the Emperor, +the country declared against him too; and, with old Lafayette for a +mouthpiece, the representatives of the nation did, in a neat speech, +pronounce themselves in permanence, but spoke no more of the Emperor +than if he had never been. Thereupon the Emperor proclaimed his son the +Emperor Napoleon II. "L'Empereur est mort, vive l'Empereur!" shouted +Prince Lucien. Psha! not a soul echoed the words: the play was played, +and as for old Lafayette and his "permanent" representatives, a corporal +with a hammer nailed up the door of their spouting-club, and once more +Louis Stanislas Xavier rolled back to the bosom of his people. + +In like manner Napoleon III. returned from exile, and made his +appearance on the frontier. His eagle appeared at Strasburg, and from +Strasburg advanced to the capital; but it arrived at Paris with a +keeper, and in a post-chaise; whence, by the orders of the sovereign, it +was removed to the American shores, and there magnanimously let loose. +Who knows, however, how soon it may be on the wing again, and what a +flight it will take? + + + + +THE STORY OF MARY ANCEL. + + +"Go, my nephew," said old Father Jacob to me, "and complete thy studies +at Strasburg: Heaven surely hath ordained thee for the ministry in these +times of trouble, and my excellent friend Schneider will work out the +divine intention." + +Schneider was an old college friend of uncle Jacob's, was a Benedictine +monk, and a man famous for his learning; as for me, I was at that time +my uncle's chorister, clerk, and sacristan; I swept the church, +chanted the prayers with my shrill treble, and swung the great copper +incense-pot on Sundays and feasts; and I toiled over the Fathers for the +other days of the week. + +The old gentleman said that my progress was prodigious, and, without +vanity, I believe he was right, for I then verily considered that +praying was my vocation, and not fighting, as I have found since. + +You would hardly conceive (said the Captain, swearing a great oath) how +devout and how learned I was in those days; I talked Latin faster than +my own beautiful patois of Alsacian French; I could utterly overthrow +in argument every Protestant (heretics we called them) parson in the +neighborhood, and there was a confounded sprinkling of these unbelievers +in our part of the country. I prayed half a dozen times a day; I fasted +thrice in a week; and, as for penance, I used to scourge my little +sides, till they had no more feeling than a peg-top: such was the godly +life I led at my uncle Jacob's in the village of Steinbach. + +Our family had long dwelt in this place, and a large farm and a pleasant +house were then in the possession of another uncle--uncle Edward. He was +the youngest of the three sons of my grandfather; but Jacob, the elder, +had shown a decided vocation for the church, from, I believe, the age of +three, and now was by no means tired of it at sixty. My father, who +was to have inherited the paternal property, was, as I hear, a terrible +scamp and scapegrace, quarrelled with his family, and disappeared +altogether, living and dying at Paris; so far we knew through my mother, +who came, poor woman, with me, a child of six months, on her bosom, was +refused all shelter by my grandfather, but was housed and kindly cared +for by my good uncle Jacob. + +Here she lived for about seven years, and the old gentleman, when she +died, wept over her grave a great deal more than I did, who was then too +young to mind anything but toys or sweetmeats. + +During this time my grandfather was likewise carried off: he left, as I +said, the property to his son Edward, with a small proviso in his will +that something should be done for me, his grandson. + +Edward was himself a widower, with one daughter, Mary, about three years +older than I, and certainly she was the dearest little treasure with +which Providence ever blessed a miserly father; by the time she was +fifteen, five farmers, three lawyers, twelve Protestant parsons, and a +lieutenant of Dragoons had made her offers: it must not be denied that +she was an heiress as well as a beauty, which, perhaps, had something +to do with the love of these gentlemen. However, Mary declared that she +intended to live single, turned away her lovers one after another, and +devoted herself to the care of her father. + +Uncle Jacob was as fond of her as he was of any saint or martyr. As for +me, at the mature age of twelve I had made a kind of divinity of her, +and when we sang "Ave Maria" on Sundays I could not refrain from turning +to her, where she knelt, blushing and praying and looking like an angel, +as she was. Besides her beauty, Mary had a thousand good qualities; she +could play better on the harpsichord, she could dance more lightly, she +could make better pickles and puddings, than any girl in Alsace; there +was not a want or a fancy of the old hunks her father, or a wish of mine +or my uncle's, that she would not gratify if she could; as for herself, +the sweet soul had neither wants nor wishes except to see us happy. + +I could talk to you for a year of all the pretty kindnesses that she +would do for me; how, when she found me of early mornings among my +books, her presence "would cast a light upon the day;" how she used to +smooth and fold my little surplice, and embroider me caps and gowns for +high feast-days; how she used to bring flowers for the altar, and who +could deck it so well as she? But sentiment does not come glibly from +under a grizzled moustache, so I will drop it, if you please. + +Amongst other favors she showed me, Mary used to be particularly fond of +kissing me: it was a thing I did not so much value in those days, but I +found that the more I grew alive to the extent of the benefit, the less +she would condescend to confer it on me; till at last, when I was about +fourteen, she discontinued it altogether, of her own wish at least; only +sometimes I used to be rude, and take what she had now become so mighty +unwilling to give. + +I was engaged in a contest of this sort one day with Mary, when, just +as I was about to carry off a kiss from her cheek, I was saluted with a +staggering slap on my own, which was bestowed by uncle Edward, and sent +me reeling some yards down the garden. + +The old gentleman, whose tongue was generally as close as his purse, now +poured forth a flood of eloquence which quite astonished me. I did not +think that so much was to be said on any subject as he managed to utter +on one, and that was abuse of me; he stamped, he swore, he screamed; +and then, from complimenting me, he turned to Mary, and saluted her in +a manner equally forcible and significant; she, who was very much +frightened at the commencement of the scene, grew very angry at the +coarse words he used, and the wicked motives he imputed to her. + +"The child is but fourteen," she said; "he is your own nephew, and a +candidate for holy orders:--father, it is a shame that you should thus +speak of me, your daughter, or of one of his holy profession." + +I did not particularly admire this speech myself, but it had an effect +on my uncle, and was the cause of the words with which this history +commences. The old gentleman persuaded his brother that I must be +sent to Strasburg, and there kept until my studies for the church were +concluded. I was furnished with a letter to my uncle's old college chum, +Professor Schneider, who was to instruct me in theology and Greek. + +I was not sorry to see Strasburg, of the wonders of which I had heard +so much; but felt very loth as the time drew near when I must quit my +pretty cousin, and my good old uncle. Mary and I managed, however, +a parting walk, in which a number of tender things were said on both +sides. I am told that you Englishmen consider it cowardly to cry; as for +me, I wept and roared incessantly: when Mary squeezed me, for the last +time, the tears came out of me as if I had been neither more nor less +than a great wet sponge. My cousin's eyes were stoically dry; her +ladyship had a part to play, and it would have been wrong for her to +be in love with a young chit of fourteen--so she carried herself with +perfect coolness, as if there was nothing the matter. I should not have +known that she cared for me, had it not been for a letter which she +wrote me a month afterwards--THEN, nobody was by, and the consequence +was that the letter was half washed away with her weeping; if she had +used a watering-pot the thing could not have been better done. + +Well, I arrived at Strasburg--a dismal, old-fashioned, rickety town in +those days--and straightway presented myself and letter at Schneider's +door; over it was written-- + + + COMITE DE SALUT PUBLIC. + + +Would you believe it? I was so ignorant a young fellow, that I had no +idea of the meaning of the words; however, I entered the citizen's room +without fear, and sat down in his ante-chamber until I could be admitted +to see him. + +Here I found very few indications of his reverence's profession; the +walls were hung round with portraits of Robespierre, Marat, and the +like; a great bust of Mirabeau, mutilated, with the word Traitre +underneath; lists and republican proclamations, tobacco-pipes and +fire-arms. At a deal-table, stained with grease and wine, sat a +gentleman, with a huge pigtail dangling down to that part of his person +which immediately succeeds his back, and a red nightcap, containing a +TRICOLOR cockade as large as a pancake. He was smoking a short pipe, +reading a little book, and sobbing as if his heart would break. Every +now and then he would make brief remarks upon the personages or the +incidents of his book, by which I could judge that he was a man of +the very keenest sensibilities--"Ah, brigand!" "O malheureuse!" "O +Charlotte, Charlotte!" The work which this gentleman was perusing is +called "The Sorrows of Werter;" it was all the rage, in those days, and +my friend was only following the fashion. I asked him if I could see +Father Schneider? he turned towards me a hideous, pimpled face, which I +dream of now at forty years' distance. + +"Father who?" said he. "Do you imagine that citizen Schneider has not +thrown off the absurd mummery of priesthood? If you were a little older +you would go to prison for calling him Father Schneider--many a man has +died for less;" and he pointed to a picture of a guillotine, which was +hanging in the room. + +I was in amazement. + +"What is he? Is he not a teacher of Greek, an abbe, a monk, until +monasteries were abolished, the learned editor of the songs of +'Anacreon?'" + +"He WAS all this," replied my grim friend; "he is now a Member of the +Committee of Public Safety, and would think no more of ordering your +head off than of drinking this tumbler of beer." + +He swallowed, himself, the frothy liquid, and then proceeded to give me +the history of the man to whom my uncle had sent me for instruction. + +Schneider was born in 1756: was a student at Wuerzburg, and afterwards +entered a convent, where he remained nine years. He here became +distinguished for his learning and his talents as a preacher, and became +chaplain to Duke Charles of Wuertemberg. The doctrines of the Illuminati +began about this time to spread in Germany, and Schneider speedily +joined the sect. He had been a professor of Greek at Cologne; and being +compelled, on account of his irregularity, to give up his chair, he came +to Strasburg at the commencement of the French Revolution, and acted for +some time a principal part as a revolutionary agent at Strasburg. + +["Heaven knows what would have happened to me had I continued long under +his tuition!" said the Captain. "I owe the preservation of my morals +entirely to my entering the army. A man, sir, who is a soldier, has very +little time to be wicked; except in the case of a siege and the sack of +a town, when a little license can offend nobody."] + +By the time that my friend had concluded Schneider's biography, we had +grown tolerably intimate, and I imparted to him (with that experience so +remarkable in youth) my whole history--my course of studies, my pleasant +country life, the names and qualities of my dear relations, and my +occupations in the vestry before religion was abolished by order of the +Republic. In the course of my speech I recurred so often to the name +of my cousin Mary, that the gentleman could not fail to perceive what a +tender place she had in my heart. + +Then we reverted to "The Sorrows of Werter," and discussed the merits +of that sublime performance. Although I had before felt some misgivings +about my new acquaintance, my heart now quite yearned towards him. He +talked about love and sentiment in a manner which made me recollect that +I was in love myself; and you know that when a man is in that condition, +his taste is not very refined, any maudlin trash of prose or verse +appearing sublime to him, provided it correspond, in some degree, with +his own situation. + +"Candid youth!" cried my unknown, "I love to hear thy innocent story and +look on thy guileless face. There is, alas! so much of the contrary in +this world, so much terror and crime and blood, that we who mingle with +it are only too glad to forget it. Would that we could shake off our +cares as men, and be boys, as thou art, again!" + +Here my friend began to weep once more, and fondly shook my hand. I +blessed my stars that I had, at the very outset of my career, met with +one who was so likely to aid me. What a slanderous world it is, +thought I; the people in our village call these Republicans wicked and +bloody-minded; a lamb could not be more tender than this sentimental +bottle-nosed gentleman! The worthy man then gave me to understand that +he held a place under Government. I was busy in endeavoring to discover +what his situation might be, when the door of the next apartment opened, +and Schneider made his appearance. + +At first he did not notice me, but he advanced to my new acquaintance, +and gave him, to my astonishment, something very like a blow. + +"You drunken, talking fool," he said, "you are always after your time. +Fourteen people are cooling their heels yonder, waiting until you have +finished your beer and your sentiment!" + +My friend slunk muttering out of the room. + +"That fellow," said Schneider, turning to me, "is our public +executioner: a capital hand too if he would but keep decent time; but +the brute is always drunk, and blubbering over 'The Sorrows of Werter!'" + + +I know not whether it was his old friendship for my uncle, or my +proper merits, which won the heart of this the sternest ruffian of +Robespierre's crew; but certain it is, that he became strangely attached +to me, and kept me constantly about his person. As for the priesthood +and the Greek, they were of course very soon out of the question. The +Austrians were on our frontier; every day brought us accounts of +battles won; and the youth of Strasburg, and of all France, indeed, were +bursting with military ardor. As for me, I shared the general mania, +and speedily mounted a cockade as large as that of my friend, the +executioner. + +The occupations of this worthy were unremitting. Saint Just, who had +come down from Paris to preside over our town, executed the laws and +the aristocrats with terrible punctuality; and Schneider used to +make country excursions in search of offenders with this fellow, as +a provost-marshal, at his back. In the meantime, having entered my +sixteenth year, and being a proper lad of my age, I had joined a +regiment of cavalry, and was scampering now after the Austrians +who menaced us, and now threatening the Emigres, who were banded at +Coblentz. My love for my dear cousin increased as my whiskers grew; and +when I was scarcely seventeen, I thought myself man enough to marry her, +and to cut the throat of any one who should venture to say me nay. + +I need not tell you that during my absence at Strasburg, great changes +had occurred in our little village, and somewhat of the revolutionary +rage had penetrated even to that quiet and distant place. The hideous +"Fete of the Supreme Being" had been celebrated at Paris; the practice +of our ancient religion was forbidden; its professors were most of them +in concealment, or in exile, or had expiated on the scaffold their crime +of Christianity. In our poor village my uncle's church was closed, and +he, himself, an inmate in my brother's house, only owing his safety to +his great popularity among his former flock, and the influence of Edward +Ancel. + +The latter had taken in the Revolution a somewhat prominent part; that +is, he had engaged in many contracts for the army, attended the clubs +regularly, corresponded with the authorities of his department, and was +loud in his denunciations of the aristocrats in the neighborhood. But +owing, perhaps, to the German origin of the peasantry, and their quiet +and rustic lives, the revolutionary fury which prevailed in the cities +had hardly reached the country people. The occasional visit of a +commissary from Paris or Strasburg served to keep the flame alive, and +to remind the rural swains of the existence of a Republic in France. + +Now and then, when I could gain a week's leave of absence, I returned to +the village, and was received with tolerable politeness by my uncle, and +with a warmer feeling by his daughter. + +I won't describe to you the progress of our love, or the wrath of my +uncle Edward, when he discovered that it still continued. He swore and +he stormed; he locked Mary into her chamber, and vowed that he would +withdraw the allowance he made me, if ever I ventured near her. His +daughter, he said, should never marry a hopeless, penniless subaltern; +and Mary declared she would not marry without his consent. What had I to +do?--to despair and to leave her. As for my poor uncle Jacob, he had no +counsel to give me, and, indeed, no spirit left: his little church was +turned into a stable, his surplice torn off his shoulders, and he was +only too lucky in keeping HIS HEAD on them. A bright thought struck him: +suppose you were to ask the advice of my old friend Schneider regarding +this marriage? he has ever been your friend, and may help you now as +before. + +(Here the Captain paused a little.) You may fancy (continued he) that it +was droll advice of a reverend gentleman like uncle Jacob to counsel +me in this manner, and to bid me make friends with such a murderous +cut-throat as Schneider; but we thought nothing of it in those days; +guillotining was as common as dancing, and a man was only thought the +better patriot the more severe he might be. I departed forthwith to +Strasburg, and requested the vote and interest of the Citizen President +of the Committee of Public Safety. + +He heard me with a great deal of attention. I described to him most +minutely the circumstance, expatiated upon the charms of my dear Mary, +and painted her to him from head to foot. Her golden hair and her +bright blushing cheeks, her slim waist and her tripping tiny feet; +and furthermore, I added that she possessed a fortune which ought, by +rights, to be mine, but for the miserly old father. "Curse him for an +aristocrat!" concluded I, in my wrath. + +As I had been discoursing about Mary's charms Schneider listened with +much complacency and attention: when I spoke about her fortune, his +interest redoubled; and when I called her father an aristocrat, the +worthy ex-Jesuit gave a grin of satisfaction, which was really quite +terrible. O fool that I was to trust him so far! + + +The very same evening an officer waited upon me with the following note +from Saint Just:-- + + +"STRASBURG, Fifth year of the Republic, one and indivisible, 11 Ventose. + +"The citizen Pierre Ancel is to leave Strasburg within two hours, and +to carry the enclosed despatches to the President of the Committee of +Public Safety at Paris. The necessary leave of absence from his military +duties has been provided. Instant punishment will follow the slightest +delay on the road. + +"Salut et Fraternite." + + +There was no choice but obedience, and off I sped on my weary way to the +capital. + +As I was riding out of the Paris gate I met an equipage which I knew to +be that of Schneider. The ruffian smiled at me as I passed, and wished +me a bon voyage. Behind his chariot came a curious machine, or cart; a +great basket, three stout poles, and several planks, all painted red, +were lying in this vehicle, on the top of which was seated my friend +with the big cockade. It was the PORTABLE GUILLOTINE which Schneider +always carried with him on his travels. The bourreau was reading "The +Sorrows of Werter," and looked as sentimental as usual. + +I will not speak of my voyage in order to relate to you Schneider's. +My story had awakened the wretch's curiosity and avarice, and he was +determined that such a prize as I had shown my cousin to be should fall +into no hands but his own. No sooner, in fact, had I quitted his +room than he procured the order for my absence, and was on the way to +Steinbach as I met him. + +The journey is not a very long one; and on the next day my uncle Jacob +was surprised by receiving a message that the citizen Schneider was in +the village, and was coming to greet his old friend. Old Jacob was in +an ecstasy, for he longed to see his college acquaintance, and he hoped +also that Schneider had come into that part of the country upon the +marriage-business of your humble servant. Of course Mary was summoned to +give her best dinner, and wear her best frock; and her father made ready +to receive the new State dignitary. + +Schneider's carriage speedily rolled into the court-yard, and +Schneider's CART followed, as a matter of course. The ex-priest only +entered the house; his companion remaining with the horses to dine in +private. Here was a most touching meeting between him and Jacob. They +talked over their old college pranks and successes; they capped Greek +verses, and quoted ancient epigrams upon their tutors, who had been +dead since the Seven Years' War. Mary declared it was quite touching to +listen to the merry friendly talk of these two old gentlemen. + +After the conversation had continued for a time in this strain, +Schneider drew up all of a sudden, and said quietly, that he had come +on particular and unpleasant business--hinting about troublesome times, +spies, evil reports, and so forth. Then he called uncle Edward aside, +and had with him a long and earnest conversation: so Jacob went out and +talked with Schneider's FRIEND; they speedily became very intimate, for +the ruffian detailed all the circumstances of his interview with me. +When he returned into the house, some time after this pleasing colloquy, +he found the tone of the society strangely altered. Edward Ancel, pale +as a sheet, trembling, and crying for mercy; poor Mary weeping; and +Schneider pacing energetically about the apartment, raging about the +rights of man, the punishment of traitors, and the one and indivisible +republic. + +"Jacob," he said, as my uncle entered the room, "I was willing, for the +sake of our old friendship, to forget the crimes of your brother. He is +a known and dangerous aristocrat; he holds communications with the enemy +on the frontier; he is a possessor of great and ill-gotten wealth, of +which he has plundered the Republic. Do you know," said he, turning to +Edward Ancel, "where the least of these crimes, or the mere suspicion of +them, would lead you?" + +Poor Edward sat trembling in his chair, and answered not a word. He +knew full well how quickly, in this dreadful time, punishment followed +suspicion; and, though guiltless of all treason with the enemy, perhaps +he was aware that, in certain contracts with the Government, he had +taken to himself a more than patriotic share of profit. + +"Do you know," resumed Schneider, in a voice of thunder, "for +what purpose I came hither, and by whom I am accompanied? I am the +administrator of the justice of the Republic. The life of yourself and +your family is in my hands: yonder man, who follows me, is the executor +of the law; he has rid the nation of hundreds of wretches like yourself. +A single word from me, and your doom is sealed without hope, and your +last hour is come. Ho! Gregoire!" shouted he; "is all ready?" + +Gregoire replied from the court, "I can put up the machine in half an +hour. Shall I go down to the village and call the troops and the law +people?" + +"Do you hear him?" said Schneider. "The guillotine is in the court-yard; +your name is on my list, and I have witnesses to prove your crime. Have +you a word in your defence?" + +Not a word came; the old gentleman was dumb; but his daughter, who did +not give way to his terror, spoke for him. + +"You cannot, sir," said she, "although you say it, FEEL that my father +is guilty; you would not have entered our house thus alone if you had +thought it. You threaten him in this manner because you have something +to ask and to gain from us: what is it, citizen?--tell us how much you +value our lives, and what sum we are to pay for our ransom?" + +"Sum!" said uncle Jacob; "he does not want money of us: my old friend, +my college chum, does not come hither to drive bargains with anybody +belonging to Jacob Ancel?" + +"Oh, no, sir, no, you can't want money of us," shrieked Edward; "we are +the poorest people of the village: ruined, Monsieur Schneider, ruined in +the cause of the Republic." + +"Silence, father," said my brave Mary; "this man wants a PRICE: he +comes, with his worthy friend yonder, to frighten us, not to kill us. +If we die, he cannot touch a sou of our money; it is confiscated to the +State. Tell us, sir, what is the price of our safety?" + +Schneider smiled, and bowed with perfect politeness. + +"Mademoiselle Marie," he said, "is perfectly correct in her surmise. I +do not want the life of this poor drivelling old man: my intentions +are much more peaceable, be assured. It rests entirely with this +accomplished young lady (whose spirit I like, and whose ready wit I +admire), whether the business between us shall be a matter of love or +death. I humbly offer myself, citizen Ancel, as a candidate for the +hand of your charming daughter. Her goodness, her beauty, and the +large fortune which I know you intend to give her, would render her a +desirable match for the proudest man in the republic, and, I am sure, +would make me the happiest." + +"This must be a jest, Monsieur Schneider," said Mary, trembling, and +turning deadly pale: "you cannot mean this; you do not know me: you +never heard of me until to-day." + +"Pardon me, belle dame," replied he; "your cousin Pierre has often +talked to me of your virtues; indeed, it was by his special suggestion +that I made the visit." + +"It is false!--it is a base and cowardly lie!" exclaimed she (for +the young lady's courage was up),--"Pierre never could have forgotten +himself and me so as to offer me to one like you. You come here with +a lie on your lips--a lie against my father, to swear his life away, +against my dear cousin's honor and love. It is useless now to deny it: +father, I love Pierre Ancel; I will marry no other but him--no, though +our last penny were paid to this man as the price of our freedom." + +Schneider's only reply to this was a call to his friend Gregoire. + +"Send down to the village for the maire and some gendarmes; and tell +your people to make ready." + +"Shall I put THE MACHINE up?" shouted he of the sentimental turn. + +"You hear him," said Schneider; "Marie Ancel, you may decide the fate +of your father. I shall return in a few hours," concluded he, "and will +then beg to know your decision." + +The advocate of the rights of man then left the apartment, and left the +family, as you may imagine, in no very pleasant mood. + +Old uncle Jacob, during the few minutes which had elapsed in the +enactment of this strange scene, sat staring wildly at Schneider, and +holding Mary on his knees: the poor little thing had fled to him for +protection, and not to her father, who was kneeling almost senseless at +the window, gazing at the executioner and his hideous preparations. The +instinct of the poor girl had not failed her; she knew that Jacob was +her only protector, if not of her life--heaven bless him!--of her honor. +"Indeed," the old man said, in a stout voice, "this must never be, +my dearest child--you must not marry this man. If it be the will of +Providence that we fall, we shall have at least the thought to console +us that we die innocent. Any man in France at a time like this, would be +a coward and traitor if he feared to meet the fate of the thousand brave +and good who have preceded us." + +"Who speaks of dying?" said Edward. "You, Brother Jacob?--you would not +lay that poor girl's head on the scaffold, or mine, your dear brother's. +You will not let us die, Mary; you will not, for a small sacrifice, +bring your poor old father into danger?" + +Mary made no answer. "Perhaps," she said, "there is time for escape: +he is to be here but in two hours; in two hours we may be safe, in +concealment, or on the frontier." And she rushed to the door of the +chamber, as if she would have instantly made the attempt: two gendarmes +were at the door. "We have orders, Mademoiselle," they said, "to +allow no one to leave this apartment until the return of the citizen +Schneider." + +Alas! all hope of escape was impossible. Mary became quite silent for a +while; she would not speak to uncle Jacob; and, in reply to her father's +eager questions, she only replied, coldly, that she would answer +Schneider when he arrived. + +The two dreadful hours passed away only too quickly; and, punctual +to his appointment, the ex-monk appeared. Directly he entered, Mary +advanced to him, and said, calmly,-- + +"Sir, I could not deceive you if I said that I freely accepted the offer +which you have made me. I will be your wife; but I tell you that I love +another; and that it is only to save the lives of those two old men that +I yield my person up to you." + +Schneider bowed, and said,-- + +"It is bravely spoken. I like your candor--your beauty. As for the love, +excuse me for saying that is a matter of total indifference. I have no +doubt, however, that it will come as soon as your feelings in favor of +the young gentleman, your cousin, have lost their present fervor. +That engaging young man has, at present, another mistress--Glory. He +occupies, I believe, the distinguished post of corporal in a regiment +which is about to march to--Perpignan, I believe." + +It was, in fact, Monsieur Schneider's polite intention to banish me as +far as possible from the place of my birth; and he had, accordingly, +selected the Spanish frontier as the spot where I was to display my +future military talents. + +Mary gave no answer to this sneer: she seemed perfectly resigned and +calm: she only said,-- + +"I must make, however, some conditions regarding our proposed marriage, +which a gentleman of Monsieur Schneider's gallantry cannot refuse." + +"Pray command me," replied the husband elect. "Fair lady, you know I am +your slave." + +"You occupy a distinguished political rank, citizen representative," +said she; "and we in our village are likewise known and beloved. I +should be ashamed, I confess, to wed you here; for our people would +wonder at the sudden marriage, and imply that it was only by compulsion +that I gave you my hand. Let us, then, perform this ceremony at +Strasburg, before the public authorities of the city, with the state +and solemnity which befits the marriage of one of the chief men of the +Republic." + +"Be it so, madam," he answered, and gallantly proceeded to embrace his +bride. + +Mary did not shrink from this ruffian's kiss; nor did she reply when +poor old Jacob, who sat sobbing in a corner, burst out, and said,-- + +"O Mary, Mary, I did not think this of thee!" + +"Silence, brother!" hastily said Edward; "my good son-in-law will pardon +your ill-humor." + +I believe uncle Edward in his heart was pleased at the notion of the +marriage; he only cared for money and rank, and was little scrupulous as +to the means of obtaining them. + +The matter then was finally arranged; and presently, after Schneider had +transacted the affairs which brought him into that part of the country, +the happy bridal party set forward for Strasburg. Uncles Jacob and +Edward occupied the back seat of the old family carriage, and the +young bride and bridegroom (he was nearly Jacob's age) were seated +majestically in front. Mary has often since talked to me of this +dreadful journey. She said she wondered at the scrupulous politeness of +Schneider during the route; nay, that at another period she could have +listened to and admired the singular talent of this man, his great +learning, his fancy, and wit; but her mind was bent upon other things, +and the poor girl firmly thought that her last day was come. + +In the meantime, by a blessed chance, I had not ridden three leagues +from Strasburg, when the officer of a passing troop of a cavalry +regiment, looking at the beast on which I was mounted, was pleased +to take a fancy to it, and ordered me, in an authoritative tone, to +descend, and to give up my steed for the benefit of the Republic. I +represented to him, in vain, that I was a soldier, like himself, and the +bearer of despatches to Paris. "Fool!" he said; "do you think they would +send despatches by a man who can ride at best but ten leagues a day?" +And the honest soldier was so wroth at my supposed duplicity, that he +not only confiscated my horse, but my saddle, and the little portmanteau +which contained the chief part of my worldly goods and treasure. I had +nothing for it but to dismount, and take my way on foot back again to +Strasburg. I arrived there in the evening, determining the next morning +to make my case known to the citizen St. Just; and though I made my +entry without a sou, I don't know what secret exultation I felt at again +being able to return. + +The ante-chamber of such a great man as St. Just was, in those days, +too crowded for an unprotected boy to obtain an early audience; two days +passed before I could obtain a sight of the friend of Robespierre. On +the third day, as I was still waiting for the interview, I heard a great +bustle in the courtyard of the house, and looked out with many others at +the spectacle. + +A number of men and women, singing epithalamiums, and dressed in some +absurd imitation of Roman costume, a troop of soldiers and gendarmerie, +and an immense crowd of the badauds of Strasburg, were surrounding +a carriage which then entered the court of the mayoralty. In this +carriage, great God! I saw my dear Mary, and Schneider by her side. The +truth instantly came upon me: the reason for Schneider's keen inquiries +and my abrupt dismissal; but I could not believe that Mary was false to +me. I had only to look in her face, white and rigid as marble, to see +that this proposed marriage was not with her consent. + +I fell back in the crowd as the procession entered the great room in +which I was, and hid my face in my hands: I could not look upon her as +the wife of another,--upon her so long loved and truly--the saint of my +childhood--the pride and hope of my youth--torn from me for ever, and +delivered over to the unholy arms of the murderer who stood before me. + +The door of St. Just's private apartment opened, and he took his seat at +the table of mayoralty just as Schneider and his cortege arrived before +it. + +Schneider then said that he came in before the authorities of the +Republic to espouse the citoyenne Marie Ancel. + +"Is she a minor?" asked St. Just. + +"She is a minor, but her father is here to give her away." + +"I am here," said uncle Edward, coming eagerly forward and bowing. +"Edward Ancel, so please you, citizen representative. The worthy citizen +Schneider has done me the honor of marrying into my family." + +"But my father has not told you the terms of the marriage," said Mary, +interrupting him, in a loud, clear voice. + +Here Schneider seized her hand, and endeavored to prevent her from +speaking. Her father turned pale, and cried, "Stop, Mary, stop! For +heaven's sake, remember your poor old father's danger!" + +"Sir, may I speak?" + +"Let the young woman speak," said St. Just, "if she have a desire to +talk." He did not suspect what would be the purport of her story. + +"Sir," she said, "two days since the citizen Schneider entered for the +first time our house; and you will fancy that it must be a love of very +sudden growth which has brought either him or me before you to-day. He +had heard from a person who is now unhappily not present, of my name and +of the wealth which my family was said to possess; and hence arose this +mad design concerning me. He came into our village with supreme power, +an executioner at his heels, and the soldiery and authorities of the +district entirely under his orders. He threatened my father with death +if he refused to give up his daughter; and I, who knew that there was no +chance of escape, except here before you, consented to become his wife. +My father I know to be innocent, for all his transactions with the State +have passed through my hands. Citizen representative, I demand to be +freed from this marriage; and I charge Schneider as a traitor to the +Republic, as a man who would have murdered an innocent citizen for the +sake of private gain." + +During the delivery of this little speech, uncle Jacob had been sobbing +and panting like a broken-winded horse; and when Mary had done, he +rushed up to her and kissed her, and held her tight in his arms. "Bless +thee, my child!" he cried, "for having had the courage to speak the +truth, and shame thy old father and me, who dared not say a word." + +"The girl amazes me," said Schneider, with a look of astonishment. "I +never saw her, it is true, till yesterday; but I used no force: her +father gave her to me with his free consent, and she yielded as gladly. +Speak, Edward Ancel, was it not so?" + +"It was, indeed, by my free consent," said Edward, trembling. + +"For shame, brother!" cried old Jacob. "Sir, it was by Edward's free +consent and my niece's; but the guillotine was in the court-yard! +Question Schneider's famulus, the man Gregoire, him who reads 'The +Sorrows of Werter.'" + +Gregoire stepped forward, and looked hesitatingly at Schneider, as he +said, "I know not what took place within doors; but I was ordered to put +up the scaffold without; and I was told to get soldiers, and let no one +leave the house." + +"Citizen St. Just," cried Schneider, "you will not allow the testimony +of a ruffian like this, of a foolish girl, and a mad ex-priest, to weigh +against the word of one who has done such service to the Republic: it is +a base conspiracy to betray me; the whole family is known to favor the +interest of the emigres." + +"And therefore you would marry a member of the family, and allow the +others to escape; you must make a better defence, citizen Schneider," +said St. Just, sternly. + +Here I came forward, and said that, three days since, I had received an +order to quit Strasburg for Paris immediately after a conversation with +Schneider, in which I had asked him his aid in promoting my marriage +with my cousin, Mary Ancel; that he had heard from me full accounts +regarding her father's wealth; and that he had abruptly caused my +dismissal, in order to carry on his scheme against her. + +"You are in the uniform of a regiment of this town; who sent you from +it?" said St. Just. + +I produced the order, signed by himself, and the despatches which +Schneider had sent me. + +"The signature is mine, but the despatches did not come from my office. +Can you prove in any way your conversation with Schneider?" + +"Why," said my sentimental friend Gregoire, "for the matter of that, I +can answer that the lad was always talking about this young woman: +he told me the whole story himself, and many a good laugh I had with +citizen Schneider as we talked about it." + +"The charge against Edward Ancel must be examined into," said St. Just. +"The marriage cannot take place. But if I had ratified it, Mary Ancel, +what then would have been your course?" + +Mary felt for a moment in her bosom, and said--"He would have died +to-night--I would have stabbed him with this dagger."* + + + * This reply, and, indeed, the whole of the story, is + historical. An account, by Charles Nodier, in the Revue de + Paris, suggested it to the writer. + + +The rain was beating down the streets, and yet they were thronged; all +the world was hastening to the market-place, where the worthy Gregoire +was about to perform some of the pleasant duties of his office. On this +occasion, it was not death that he was to inflict; he was only to expose +a criminal who was to be sent on afterwards to Paris. St. Just had +ordered that Schneider should stand for six hours in the public place +of Strasburg, and then be sent on to the capital to be dealt with as the +authorities might think fit. + +The people followed with execrations the villain to his place of +punishment; and Gregoire grinned as he fixed up to the post the man +whose orders he had obeyed so often--who had delivered over to disgrace +and punishment so many who merited it not. + +Schneider was left for several hours exposed to the mockery and insults +of the mob; he was then, according to his sentence, marched on to Paris, +where it is probable that he would have escaped death, but for his own +fault. He was left for some time in prison, quite unnoticed, perhaps +forgotten: day by day fresh victims were carried to the scaffold, and +yet the Alsacian tribune remained alive; at last, by the mediation +of one of his friends, a long petition was presented to Robespierre, +stating his services and his innocence, and demanding his freedom. The +reply to this was an order for his instant execution: the wretch died +in the last days of Robespierre's reign. His comrade, St. Just, followed +him, as you know; but Edward Ancel had been released before this, for +the action of my brave Mary had created a strong feeling in his favor. + +"And Mary?" said I. + +Here a stout and smiling old lady entered the Captain's little room: she +was leaning on the arm of a military-looking man of some forty years, +and followed by a number of noisy, rosy children. + +"This is Mary Ancel," said the Captain, "and I am Captain Pierre, and +yonder is the Colonel, my son; and you see us here assembled in force, +for it is the fete of little Jacob yonder, whose brothers and sisters +have all come from their schools to dance at his birthday." + + + + +BEATRICE MERGER. + + +Beatrice Merger, whose name might figure at the head of one of Mr. +Colburn's politest romances--so smooth and aristocratic does it +sound--is no heroine, except of her own simple history; she is not a +fashionable French Countess, nor even a victim of the Revolution. + +She is a stout, sturdy girl of two-and-twenty, with a face beaming with +good nature, and marked dreadfully by smallpox; and a pair of black +eyes, which might have done some execution had they been placed in a +smoother face. Beatrice's station in society is not very exalted; she +is a servant of all-work: she will dress your wife, your dinner, your +children; she does beefsteaks and plain work; she makes beds, blacks +boots, and waits at table;--such, at least, were the offices which she +performed in the fashionable establishment of the writer of this book: +perhaps her history may not inaptly occupy a few pages of it. + +"My father died," said Beatrice, "about six years since, and left my +poor mother with little else but a small cottage and a strip of land, +and four children too young to work. It was hard enough in my father's +time to supply so many little mouths with food; and how was a poor +widowed woman to provide for them now, who had neither the strength nor +the opportunity for labor? + +"Besides us, to be sure, there was my old aunt; and she would have +helped us, but she could not, for the old woman is bed-ridden; so she +did nothing but occupy our best room, and grumble from morning till +night: heaven knows, poor old soul, that she had no great reason to be +very happy; for you know, sir, that it frets the temper to be sick; and +that it is worse still to be sick and hungry too. + +"At that time, in the country where we lived (in Picardy, not very far +from Boulogne), times were so bad that the best workman could hardly +find employ; and when he did, he was happy if he could earn a matter of +twelve sous a day. Mother, work as she would, could not gain more than +six; and it was a hard job, out of this, to put meat into six bellies, +and clothing on six backs. Old Aunt Bridget would scold, as she got her +portion of black bread; and my little brothers used to cry if theirs did +not come in time. I, too, used to cry when I got my share; for mother +kept only a little, little piece for herself, and said that she had +dined in the fields,--God pardon her for the lie! and bless her, as I +am sure He did; for, but for Him, no working man or woman could subsist +upon such a wretched morsel as my dear mother took. + +"I was a thin, ragged, barefooted girl, then, and sickly and weak for +want of food; but I think I felt mother's hunger more than my own: and +many and many a bitter night I lay awake, crying, and praying to God to +give me means of working for myself and aiding her. And he has, indeed, +been good to me," said pious Beatrice, "for He has given me all this! + +"Well, time rolled on, and matters grew worse than ever: winter came, +and was colder to us than any other winter, for our clothes were thinner +and more torn; mother sometimes could find no work, for the fields in +which she labored were hidden under the snow; so that when we wanted +them most we had them least--warmth, work, or food. + +"I knew that, do what I would, mother would never let me leave her, +because I looked to my little brothers and my old cripple of an aunt; +but still, bread was better for us than all my service; and when I left +them the six would have a slice more; so I determined to bid good-by to +nobody, but to go away, and look for work elsewhere. One Sunday, when +mother and the little ones were at church, I went in to Aunt Bridget, +and said, 'Tell mother, when she comes back, that Beatrice is gone.' I +spoke quite stoutly, as if I did not care about it. + +"'Gone! gone where?' said she. 'You ain't going to leave me alone, +you nasty thing; you ain't going to the village to dance, you ragged, +barefooted slut: you're all of a piece in this house--your mother, your +brothers, and you. I know you've got meat in the kitchen, and you only +give me black bread;' and here the old lady began to scream as if her +heart would break; but we did not mind it, we were so used to it. + +"'Aunt,' said I, 'I'm going, and took this very opportunity because you +WERE alone: tell mother I am too old now to eat her bread, and do no +work for it: I am going, please God, where work and bread can be found:' +and so I kissed her: she was so astonished that she could not move or +speak; and I walked away through the old room, and the little garden, +God knows whither! + +"I heard the old woman screaming after me, but I did not stop nor turn +round. I don't think I could, for my heart was very full; and if I had +gone back again, I should never have had the courage to go away. So I +walked a long, long way, until night fell; and I thought of poor mother +coming home from mass, and not finding me; and little Pierre shouting +out, in his clear voice, for Beatrice to bring him his supper. I think +I should like to have died that night, and I thought I should too; for +when I was obliged to throw myself on the cold, hard ground, my feet +were too torn and weary to bear me any further. + +"Just then the moon got up; and do you know I felt a comfort in looking +at it, for I knew it was shining on our little cottage, and it seemed +like an old friend's face? A little way on, as I saw by the moon, was a +village: and I saw, too, that a man was coming towards me; he must have +heard me crying, I suppose. + +"Was not God good to me? This man was a farmer, who had need of a girl +in his house; he made me tell him why I was alone, and I told him the +same story I have told you, and he believed me and took me home. I had +walked six long leagues from our village that day, asking everywhere for +work in vain; and here, at bedtime, I found a bed and a supper! + +"Here I lived very well for some months; my master was very good and +kind to me; but, unluckily, too poor to give me any wages; so that I +could save nothing to send to my poor mother. My mistress used to scold; +but I was used to that at home, from Aunt Bridget: and she beat me +sometimes, but I did not mind it; for your hardy country girl is not +like your tender town lasses, who cry if a pin pricks them, and give +warning to their mistresses at the first hard word. The only drawback +to my comfort was, that I had no news of my mother; I could not write +to her, nor could she have read my letter, if I had; so there I was, +at only six leagues' distance from home, as far off as if I had been to +Paris or to 'Merica. + +"However, in a few months I grew so listless and homesick, that my +mistress said she would keep me no longer; and though I went away as +poor as I came, I was still too glad to go back to the old village +again, and see dear mother, if it were but for a day. I knew she would +share her crust with me, as she had done for so long a time before; and +hoped that, now, as I was taller and stronger, I might find work more +easily in the neighborhood. + +"You may fancy what a fete it was when I came back; though I'm sure we +cried as much as if it had been a funeral. Mother got into a fit, which +frightened us all; and as for Aunt Bridget, she SKREELED away for hours +together, and did not scold for two days at least. Little Pierre offered +me the whole of his supper; poor little man! his slice of bread was no +bigger than before I went away. + +"Well, I got a little work here and a little there; but still I was a +burden at home rather than a bread-winner; and, at the closing-in of the +winter, was very glad to hear of a place at two leagues' distance, where +work, they said, was to be had. Off I set, one morning, to find it, +but missed my way, somehow, until it was night-time before I arrived. +Night-time and snow again; it seemed as if all my journeys were to be +made in this bitter weather. + +"When I came to the farmer's door, his house was shut up, and his people +all a-bed; I knocked for a long while in vain; at last he made his +appearance at a window up stairs, and seemed so frightened, and looked +so angry that I suppose he took me for a thief. I told him how I had +come for work. 'Who comes for work at such an hour?' said he. 'Go home, +you impudent baggage, and do not disturb honest people out of their +sleep.' He banged the window to; and so I was left alone to shift for +myself as I might. There was no shed, no cow-house, where I could find a +bed; so I got under a cart, on some straw; it was no very warm berth. +I could not sleep for the cold: and the hours passed so slowly, that it +seemed as if I had been there a week instead of a night; but still it +was not so bad as the first night when I left home, and when the good +farmer found me. + +"In the morning, before it was light, the farmer's people came out, and +saw me crouching under the cart: they told me to get up; but I was so +cold that I could not: at last the man himself came, and recognized me +as the girl who had disturbed him the night before. When he heard my +name, and the purpose for which I came, this good man took me into the +house, and put me into one of the beds out of which his sons had +just got; and, if I was cold before, you may be sure I was warm and +comfortable now! such a bed as this I had never slept in, nor ever did +I have such good milk-soup as he gave me out of his own breakfast. Well, +he agreed to hire me; and what do you think he gave me?--six sous a day! +and let me sleep in the cow-house besides: you may fancy how happy I was +now, at the prospect of earning so much money. + +"There was an old woman among the laborers who used to sell us soup: I +got a cupful every day for a half-penny, with a bit of bread in it; and +might eat as much beet-root besides as I liked; not a very wholesome +meal, to be sure, but God took care that it should not disagree with me. + +"So, every Saturday, when work was over, I had thirty sous to carry home +to mother; and tired though I was, I walked merrily the two leagues to +our village, to see her again. On the road there was a great wood to +pass through, and this frightened me; for if a thief should come and rob +me of my whole week's earnings, what could a poor lone girl do to help +herself? But I found a remedy for this too, and no thieves ever came +near me; I used to begin saying my prayers as I entered the forest, and +never stopped until I was safe at home; and safe I always arrived, with +my thirty sons in my pocket. Ah! you may be sure, Sunday was a merry day +for us all." + + +This is the whole of Beatrice's history which is worthy of publication; +the rest of it only relates to her arrival in Paris, and the various +masters and mistresses whom she there had the honor to serve. As soon +as she enters the capital the romance disappears, and the poor girl's +sufferings and privations luckily vanish with it. Beatrice has got now +warm gowns, and stout shoes, and plenty of good food. She has had her +little brother from Picardy; clothed, fed, and educated him: that young +gentleman is now a carpenter, and an honor to his profession. Madame +Merger is in easy circumstances, and receives, yearly, fifty francs from +her daughter. To crown all, Mademoiselle Beatrice herself is a funded +proprietor, and consulted the writer of this biography as to the best +method of laying out a capital of two hundred francs, which is the +present amount of her fortune. + +God bless her! she is richer than his Grace the Duke of Devonshire; and, +I dare say, has, in her humble walk, been more virtuous and more happy +than all the dukes in the realm. + +It is, indeed, for the benefit of dukes and such great people (who, I +make no doubt, have long since ordered copies of these Sketches), that +poor little Beatrice's story has been indited. Certain it is, that the +young woman would never have been immortalized in this way, but for the +good which her betters may derive from her example. If your ladyship +will but reflect a little, after boasting of the sums which you spend +in charity; the beef and blankets which you dole out at Christmas; +the poonah-painting which you execute for fancy fairs; the long, +long sermons which you listen to at St. George's, the whole year +through;--your ladyship, I say, will allow that, although perfectly +meritorious in your line, as a patroness of the Church of England, of +Almack's, and of the Lying-in Asylum, yours is but a paltry sphere +of virtue, a pitiful attempt at benevolence, and that this honest +servant-girl puts you to shame! And you, my Lord Bishop: do you, out of +your six sous a day, give away five to support your flock and family? +Would you drop a single coach-horse (I do not say, A DINNER, for such a +notion is monstrous, in one of your lordship's degree), to feed any one +of the starving children of your lordship's mother--the Church? + +I pause for a reply. His lordship took too much turtle and cold punch +for dinner yesterday, and cannot speak just now: but we have, by this +ingenious question, silenced him altogether: let the world wag as it +will, and poor Christians and curates starve as they may, my lord's +footmen must have their new liveries, and his horses their four feeds a +day. + + +When we recollect his speech about the Catholics--when we remember +his last charity sermon,--but I say nothing. Here is a poor benighted +superstitious creature, worshipping images, without a rag to her tail, +who has as much faith, and humility, and charity as all the reverend +bench. + + +This angel is without a place; and for this reason (besides the pleasure +of composing the above slap at episcopacy)--I have indited her +history. If the Bishop is going to Paris, and wants a good honest +maid-of-all-work, he can have her, I have no doubt; or if he chooses to +give a few pounds to her mother, they can be sent to Mr. Titmarsh, at +the publisher's. + +Here is Miss Merger's last letter and autograph. The note was evidently +composed by an Ecrivain public:-- + + +"Madame,--Ayant apris par ce Monsieur, que vous vous portiez bien, ainsi +que Monsieur, ayant su aussi que vous parliez de moi dans votre lettre +cette nouvelle m'a fait bien plaisir Je profite de l'occasion pour vous +faire passer ce petit billet ou Je voudrais pouvoir m'enveloper pour +aller vous voir et pour vous dire que Je suis encore sans place Je +m'ennuye tojours de ne pas vous voir ainsi que Minette (Minette is a +cat) qui semble m'interroger tour a tour et demander ou vous etes. +Je vous envoye aussi la note du linge a blanchir--ah, Madame! Je vais +cesser de vous ecrire mais non de vous regretter." + +Beatrice Merger. + + + + +CARICATURES AND LITHOGRAPHY IN PARIS. + + +Fifty years ago there lived at Munich a poor fellow, by name Aloys +Senefelder, who was in so little repute as an author and artist, +that printers and engravers refused to publish his works at their own +charges, and so set him upon some plan for doing without their aid. +In the first place, Aloys invented a certain kind of ink, which would +resist the action of the acid that is usually employed by engravers, +and with this he made his experiments upon copper-plates, as long as he +could afford to purchase them. He found that to write upon the plates +backwards, after the manner of engravers, required much skill and many +trials; and he thought that, were he to practise upon any other +polished surface--a smooth stone, for instance, the least costly article +imaginable--he might spare the expense of the copper until he had +sufficient skill to use it. + +One day, it is said, that Aloys was called upon to write--rather a +humble composition for an author and artist--a washing-bill. He had +no paper at hand, and so he wrote out the bill with some of his +newly-invented ink upon one of his Kelheim stones. Some time afterwards +he thought he would try and take an IMPRESSION of his washing-bill: +he did, and succeeded. Such is the story, which the reader most likely +knows very well; and having alluded to the origin of the art, we shall +not follow the stream through its windings and enlargement after it +issued from the little parent rock, or fill our pages with the rest of +the pedigree. Senefelder invented Lithography. His invention has not +made so much noise and larum in the world as some others, which have an +origin quite as humble and unromantic; but it is one to which we owe no +small profit, and a great deal of pleasure; and, as such, we are bound +to speak of it with all gratitude and respect. The schoolmaster, who +is now abroad, has taught us, in our youth, how the cultivation of +art "emollit mores nec sinit esse"--(it is needless to finish the +quotation); and Lithography has been, to our thinking, the very best +ally that art ever had; the best friend of the artist, allowing him +to produce rapidly multiplied and authentic copies of his own works +(without trusting to the tedious and expensive assistance of the +engraver); and the best friend to the people likewise, who have means of +purchasing these cheap and beautiful productions, and thus having their +ideas "mollified" and their manners "feros" no more. + +With ourselves, among whom money is plenty, enterprise so great, and +everything matter of commercial speculation, Lithography has not been +so much practised as wood or steel engraving; which, by the aid of great +original capital and spread of sale, are able more than to compete with +the art of drawing on stone. The two former may be called art done by +MACHINERY. We confess to a prejudice in favor of the honest work of +HAND, in matters of art, and prefer the rough workmanship of the painter +to the smooth copies of his performances which are produced, for the +most part, on the wood-block or the steel-plate. + +The theory will possibly be objected to by many of our readers: the +best proof in its favor, we think, is, that the state of art amongst +the people in France and Germany, where publishers are not so wealthy +or enterprising as with us,* and where Lithography is more practised, is +infinitely higher than in England, and the appreciation more correct. As +draughtsmen, the French and German painters are incomparably superior to +our own; and with art, as with any other commodity, the demand will be +found pretty equal to the supply: with us, the general demand is for +neatness, prettiness, and what is called EFFECT in pictures, and +these can be rendered completely, nay, improved, by the engraver's +conventional manner of copying the artist's performances. But to copy +fine expression and fine drawing, the engraver himself must be a fine +artist; and let anybody examine the host of picture-books which appear +every Christmas, and say whether, for the most part, painters or +engravers possess any artistic merit? We boast, nevertheless, of some +of the best engravers and painters in Europe. Here, again, the supply is +accounted for by the demand; our highest class is richer than any other +aristocracy, quite as well instructed, and can judge and pay for fine +pictures and engravings. But these costly productions are for the few, +and not for the many, who have not yet certainly arrived at properly +appreciating fine art. + + * These countries are, to be sure, inundated with the + productions of our market, in the shape of Byron Beauties, + reprints from the "Keepsakes," "Books of Beauty," and such + trash; but these are only of late years, and their original + schools of art are still flourishing. + +Take the standard "Album" for instance--that unfortunate collection of +deformed Zuleikas and Medoras (from the "Byron Beauties"), the Flowers, +Gems, Souvenirs, Caskets of Loveliness, Beauty, as they way be called; +glaring caricatures of flowers, singly, in groups, in flower-pots, or +with hideous deformed little Cupids sporting among them; of what are +called "mezzotinto," pencil-drawings, "poonah-paintings," and what +not. "The Album" is to be found invariably upon the round rosewood +brass-inlaid drawing-room table of the middle classes, and with a couple +of "Annuals" besides, which flank it on the same table, represents the +art of the house; perhaps there is a portrait of the master of the house +in the dining-room, grim-glancing from above the mantel-piece; and +of the mistress over the piano up stairs; add to these some odious +miniatures of the sons and daughters, on each side of the chimney-glass; +and here, commonly (we appeal to the reader if this is an overcharged +picture), the collection ends. The family goes to the Exhibition once +a year, to the National Gallery once in ten years: to the former place +they have an inducement to go; there are their own portraits, or the +portraits of their friends, or the portraits of public characters; and +you will see them infallibly wondering over No. 2645 in the catalogue, +representing "The Portrait of a Lady," or of the "First Mayor of Little +Pedlington since the passing of the Reform Bill;" or else bustling and +squeezing among the miniatures, where lies the chief attraction of the +Gallery. England has produced, owing to the effects of this class of +admirers of art, two admirable, and five hundred very clever, portrait +painters. How many ARTISTS? Let the reader count upon his five fingers, +and see if, living at the present moment, he can name one for each. + +If, from this examination of our own worthy middle classes, we look to +the same class in France, what a difference do we find! Humble cafe's +in country towns have their walls covered with pleasing picture papers, +representing "Les Gloires de l'Armee Francaise," the "Seasons," +the "Four Quarters of the World," "Cupid and Psyche," or some other +allegory, landscape or history, rudely painted, as papers for walls +usually are; but the figures are all tolerably well drawn; and the +common taste, which has caused a demand for such things, is undeniable. +In Paris, the manner in which the cafes and houses of the restaurateurs +are ornamented, is, of course, a thousand times richer, and nothing can +be more beautiful, or more exquisitely finished and correct, than the +designs which adorn many of them. We are not prepared to say what sums +were expended upon the painting of "Very's" or "Vefour's," of the "Salle +Musard," or of numberless other places of public resort in the capital. +There is many a shop-keeper whose sign is a very tolerable picture; +and often have we stopped to admire (the reader will give us credit for +having remained OUTSIDE) the excellent workmanship of the grapes and +vine-leaves over the door of some very humble, dirty, inodorous shop of +a marchand de vin. + +These, however, serve only to educate the public taste, and are +ornaments for the most part much too costly for the people. But the +same love of ornament which is shown in their public places of resort, +appears in their houses likewise; and every one of our readers who has +lived in Paris, in any lodging, magnificent or humble, with any family, +however poor, may bear witness how profusely the walls of his smart +salon in the English quarter, or of his little room au sixieme in the +Pays Latin, has been decorated with prints of all kinds. In the first, +probably, with bad engravings on copper from the bad and tawdry pictures +of the artists of the time of the Empire; in the latter, with gay +caricatures of Granville or Monnier: military pieces, such as are dashed +off by Raffet, Charlet, Vernet (one can hardly say which of the three +designers has the greatest merit, or the most vigorous hand); or clever +pictures from the crayon of the Deverias, the admirable Roqueplan, +or Decamp. We have named here, we believe, the principal lithographic +artists in Paris; and those--as doubtless there are many--of our readers +who have looked over Monsieur Aubert's portfolios, or gazed at that +famous caricature-shop window in the Rue de Coq, or are even acquainted +with the exterior of Monsieur Delaporte's little emporium in the +Burlington Arcade, need not be told how excellent the productions of all +these artists are in their genre. We get in these engravings the loisirs +of men of genius, not the finikin performances of labored mediocrity, as +with us: all these artists are good painters, as well as good designers; +a design from them is worth a whole gross of Books of Beauty; and if we +might raise a humble supplication to the artists in our own country of +similar merit--to such men as Leslie, Maclise, Herbert, Cattermole, and +others--it would be, that they should, after the example of their French +brethren and of the English landscape painters, take chalk in hand, +produce their own copies of their own sketches, and never more draw a +single "Forsaken One," "Rejected One," "Dejected One" at the entreaty +of any publisher or for the pages of any Book of Beauty, Royalty, or +Loveliness whatever. + +Can there be a more pleasing walk in the whole world than a stroll +through the Gallery of the Louvre on a fete-day; not to look so much at +the pictures as at the lookers-on? Thousands of the poorer classes +are there: mechanics in their Sunday clothes, smiling grisettes, smart +dapper soldiers of the line, with bronzed wondering faces, marching +together in little companies of six or seven, and stopping every now and +then at Napoleon or Leonidas as they appear in proper vulgar heroics in +the pictures of David or Gros. The taste of these people will hardly be +approved by the connoisseur, but they have A taste for art. Can the same +be said of our lower classes, who, if they are inclined to be sociable +and amused in their holidays, have no place of resort but the tap-room +or tea-garden, and no food for conversation except such as can be built +upon the politics or the police reports of the last Sunday paper? +So much has Church and State puritanism done for us--so well has it +succeeded in materializing and binding down to the earth the imagination +of men, for which God has made another world (which certain statesmen +take but too little into account)--that fair and beautiful world of +heart, in which there CAN be nothing selfish or sordid, of which Dulness +has forgotten the existence, and which Bigotry has endeavored to shut +out from sight-- + + + "On a banni les demons et les fees, + Le raisonner tristement s'accredite: + On court, helas! apres la verite: + Ah! croyez moi, l'erreur a son merite!" + + +We are not putting in a plea here for demons and fairies, as Voltaire +does in the above exquisite lines; nor about to expatiate on the +beauties of error, for it has none; but the clank of steam-engines, and +the shouts of politicians, and the struggle for gain or bread, and the +loud denunciations of stupid bigots, have wellnigh smothered poor Fancy +among us. We boast of our science, and vaunt our superior morality. +Does the latter exist? In spite of all the forms which our policy +has invented to secure it--in spite of all the preachers, all the +meeting-houses, and all the legislative enactments--if any person will +take upon himself the painful labor of purchasing and perusing some +of the cheap periodical prints which form the people's library of +amusement, and contain what may be presumed to be their standard in +matters of imagination and fancy, he will see how false the claim is +that we bring forward of superior morality. The aristocracy who are so +eager to maintain, were, of course, not the last to feel annoyance of +the legislative restrictions on the Sabbath, and eagerly seized upon +that happy invention for dissipating the gloom and ennui ordered by Act +of Parliament to prevail on that day--the Sunday paper. It might be read +in a club-room, where the poor could not see how their betters +ordained one thing for the vulgar, and another for themselves; or in an +easy-chair, in the study, whither my lord retires every Sunday for +his devotions. It dealt in private scandal and ribaldry, only the more +piquant for its pretty flimsy veil of double-entendre. It was a fortune +to the publisher, and it became a necessary to the reader, which +he could not do without, any more than without his snuff-box, his +opera-box, or his chasse after coffee. The delightful novelty could not +for any time be kept exclusively for the haut ton; and from my lord it +descended to his valet or tradesmen, and from Grosvenor Square it spread +all the town through; so that now the lower classes have their scandal +and ribaldry organs, as well as their betters (the rogues, they WILL +imitate them!) and as their tastes are somewhat coarser than my lord's, +and their numbers a thousand to one, why of course the prints have +increased, and the profligacy has been diffused in a ratio exactly +proportionable to the demand, until the town is infested with such a +number of monstrous publications of the kind as would have put Abbe +Dubois to the blush, or made Louis XV. cry shame. Talk of English +morality!--the worst licentiousness, in the worst period of the French +monarchy, scarcely equalled the wickedness of this Sabbath-keeping +country of ours. + +The reader will be glad, at last, to come to the conclusion that we +would fain draw from all these descriptions--why does this immorality +exist? Because the people MUST be amused, and have not been taught HOW; +because the upper classes, frightened by stupid cant, or absorbed in +material wants, have not as yet learned the refinement which only the +cultivation of art can give; and when their intellects are uneducated, +and their tastes are coarse, the tastes and amusements of classes still +more ignorant must be coarse and vicious likewise, in an increased +proportion. + +Such discussions and violent attacks upon high and low, Sabbath Bills, +politicians, and what not, may appear, perhaps, out of place in a few +pages which purport only to give an account of some French drawings: all +we would urge is, that, in France, these prints are made because they +are liked and appreciated; with us they are not made, because they are +not liked and appreciated: and the more is the pity. Nothing merely +intellectual will be popular among us: we do not love beauty for +beauty's sake, as Germans; or wit, for wit's sake, as the French: for +abstract art we have no appreciation. We admire H. B.'s caricatures, +because they are the caricatures of well-known political characters, +not because they are witty; and Boz, because he writes us good palpable +stories (if we may use such a word to a story); and Madame Vestris, +because she has the most beautifully shaped legs;--the ART of the +designer, the writer, the actress (each admirable in its way,) is a very +minor consideration; each might have ten times the wit, and would be +quite unsuccessful without their substantial points of popularity. + +In France such matters are far better managed, and the love of art is +a thousand times more keen; and (from this feeling, surely) how much +superiority is there in French SOCIETY over our own; how much better +is social happiness understood; how much more manly equality is there +between Frenchman and Frenchman, than between rich and poor in our +own country, with all our superior wealth, instruction, and political +freedom! There is, amongst the humblest, a gayety, cheerfulness, +politeness, and sobriety, to which, in England, no class can show +a parallel: and these, be it remembered, are not only qualities for +holidays, but for working-days too, and add to the enjoyment of human +life as much as good clothes, good beef, or good wages. If, to our +freedom, we could but add a little of their happiness!--it is one, after +all, of the cheapest commodities in the world, and in the power of every +man (with means of gaining decent bread) who has the will or the skill +to use it. + +We are not going to trace the history of the rise and progress of art in +France; our business, at present, is only to speak of one branch of art +in that country--lithographic designs, and those chiefly of a humorous +character. A history of French caricature was published in Paris, two +or three years back, illustrated by numerous copies of designs, from the +time of Henry III. to our own day. We can only speak of this work from +memory, having been unable, in London, to procure the sight of a +copy; but our impression, at the time we saw the collection, was as +unfavorable as could possibly be: nothing could be more meagre than the +wit, or poorer than the execution, of the whole set of drawings. Under +the Empire, art, as may be imagined, was at a very low ebb; and, aping +the Government of the day, and catering to the national taste and +vanity, it was a kind of tawdry caricature of the sublime; of which the +pictures of David and Girodet, and almost the entire collection now +at the Luxembourg Palace, will give pretty fair examples. Swollen, +distorted, unnatural, the painting was something like the politics of +those days; with force in it, nevertheless, and something of grandeur, +that will exist in spite of taste, and is born of energetic will. A man, +disposed to write comparisons of characters, might, for instance, find +some striking analogies between mountebank Murat, with his irresistible +bravery and horsemanship, who was a kind of mixture of Dugueselin and +Ducrow, and Mountebank David, a fierce, powerful painter and genius, +whose idea of beauty and sublimity seemed to have been gained from the +bloody melodramas on the Boulevard. Both, however, were great in their +way, and were worshipped as gods, in those heathen times of false belief +and hero-worship. + +As for poor caricature and freedom of the press, they, like the rightful +princess in a fairy tale, with the merry fantastic dwarf, her attendant, +were entirely in the power of the giant who ruled the land. The Princess +Press was so closely watched and guarded (with some little show, +nevertheless, of respect for her rank), that she dared not utter a word +of her own thoughts; and, for poor Caricature, he was gagged, and put +out of the way altogether: imprisoned as completely as ever Asmodeus was +in his phial. + +How the Press and her attendant fared in succeeding reigns, is well +known; their condition was little bettered by the downfall of Napoleon: +with the accession of Charles X. they were more oppressed even than +before--more than they could bear; for so hard were they pressed, that, +as one has seen when sailors are working a capstan, back of a sudden the +bars flew, knocking to the earth the men who were endeavoring to work +them. The Revolution came, and up sprung Caricature in France; all sorts +of fierce epigrams were discharged at the flying monarch, and speedily +were prepared, too, for the new one. + +About this time there lived at Paris (if our information be correct) +a certain M. Philipon, an indifferent artist (painting was his +profession), a tolerable designer, and an admirable wit. M. Philipon +designed many caricatures himself, married the sister of an eminent +publisher of prints (M. Aubert), and the two, gathering about them +a body of wits and artists like themselves, set up journals of their +own:--La Caricature, first published once a week; and the Charivari +afterwards, a daily paper, in which a design also appears daily. + +At first the caricatures inserted in the Charivari were chiefly +political; and a most curious contest speedily commenced between the +State and M. Philipon's little army in the Galerie Vero-Dodat. Half a +dozen poor artists on the one side, and his Majesty Louis Philippe, +his august family, and the numberless placemen and supporters of the +monarchy, on the other; it was something like Thersites girding at +Ajax, and piercing through the folds of the clypei septemplicis with the +poisonous shafts of his scorn. Our French Thersites was not always an +honest opponent, it must be confessed; and many an attack was made upon +the gigantic enemy, which was cowardly, false, and malignant. But to see +the monster writhing under the effects of the arrow--to see his uncouth +fury in return, and the blind blows that he dealt at his diminutive +opponent!--not one of these told in a hundred; when they DID tell, it +may be imagined that they were fierce enough in all conscience, and +served almost to annihilate the adversary. + +To speak more plainly, and to drop the metaphor of giant and dwarf, the +King of the French suffered so much, his Ministers were so mercilessly +ridiculed, his family and his own remarkable figure drawn with such +odious and grotesque resemblance, in fanciful attitudes, circumstances, +and disguises, so ludicrously mean, and often so appropriate, that the +King was obliged to descend into the lists and battle his ridiculous +enemy in form. Prosecutions, seizures, fines, regiments of furious legal +officials, were first brought into play against poor M. Philipon and his +little dauntless troop of malicious artists; some few were bribed out +of his ranks; and if they did not, like Gilray in England, turn their +weapons upon their old friends, at least laid down their arms, and would +fight no more. The bribes, fines, indictments, and loud-tongued avocats +du roi made no impression; Philipon repaired the defeat of a fine by +some fresh and furious attack upon his great enemy; if his epigrams were +more covert, they were no less bitter; if he was beaten a dozen times +before a jury, he had eighty or ninety victories to show in the same +field of battle, and every victory and every defeat brought him new +sympathy. Every one who was at Paris a few years since must recollect +the famous "poire" which was chalked upon all the walls of the city, +and which bore so ludicrous a resemblance to Louis Philippe. The poire +became an object of prosecution, and M. Philipon appeared before a +jury to answer for the crime of inciting to contempt against the King's +person, by giving such a ludicrous version of his face. Philipon, for +defence, produced a sheet of paper, and drew a poire, a real large +Burgundy pear: in the lower parts round and capacious, narrower near +the stalk, and crowned with two or three careless leaves. "There was no +treason in THAT," he said to the jury; "could any one object to such a +harmless botanical representation?" Then he drew a second pear, exactly +like the former, except that one or two lines were scrawled in the midst +of it, which bore somehow a ludicrous resemblance to the eyes, nose, and +mouth of a celebrated personage; and, lastly, he drew the exact portrait +of Louis Philippe; the well-known toupet, the ample whiskers and jowl +were there, neither extenuated nor set down in malice. "Can I help it, +gentlemen of the jury, then," said he, "if his Majesty's face is like a +pear? Say yourselves, respectable citizens, is it, or is it not, like +a pear?" Such eloquence could not fail of its effect; the artist was +acquitted, and La poire is immortal. + +At last came the famous September laws: the freedom of the Press, +which, from August, 1830, was to be "desormais une verite," was calmly +strangled by the Monarch who had gained his crown for his supposed +championship of it; by his Ministers, some of whom had been stout +Republicans on paper but a few years before; and by the Chamber, which, +such is the blessed constitution of French elections, will generally +vote, unvote, revote in any way the Government wishes. With a wondrous +union, and happy forgetfulness of principle, monarch, ministers, and +deputies issued the restriction laws; the Press was sent to prison; as +for the poor dear Caricature, it was fairly murdered. No more political +satires appear now, and "through the eye, correct the heart;" no more +poires ripen on the walls of the metropolis; Philipon's political +occupation is gone. + +But there is always food for satire; and the French caricaturists, being +no longer allowed to hold up to ridicule and reprobation the King and +the deputies, have found no lack of subjects for the pencil in the +ridicules and rascalities of common life. We have said that public +decency is greater amongst the French than amongst us, which, to some of +our readers, may appear paradoxical; but we shall not attempt to argue +that, in private roguery, our neighbors are not our equals. The proces +of Gisquet, which has appeared lately in the papers, shows how deep the +demoralization must be, and how a Government, based itself on dishonesty +(a tyranny, that is, under the title and fiction of a democracy,) must +practise and admit corruption in its own and in its agents' dealings +with the nation. Accordingly, of cheating contracts, of ministers +dabbling with the funds, or extracting underhand profits for the +granting of unjust privileges and monopolies,--of grasping, envious +police restrictions, which destroy the freedom, and, with it, the +integrity of commerce,--those who like to examine such details may find +plenty in French history: the whole French finance system has been a +swindle from the days of Luvois, or Law, down to the present time. The +Government swindles the public, and the small traders swindle their +customers, on the authority and example of the superior powers. Hence +the art of roguery, under such high patronage, maintains in France a +noble front of impudence, and a fine audacious openness, which it does +not wear in our country. + +Among the various characters of roguery which the French satirists have +amused themselves by depicting, there is one of which the GREATNESS +(using the word in the sense which Mr. Jonathan Wild gave to it) so far +exceeds that of all others, embracing, as it does, all in turn, that it +has come to be considered the type of roguery in general; and now, just +as all the political squibs were made to come of old from the lips of +Pasquin, all the reflections on the prevailing cant, knavery, quackery, +humbug, are put into the mouth of Monsieur Robert Macaire. + +A play was written, some twenty years since, called the "Auberge des +Adrets," in which the characters of two robbers escaped from the galleys +were introduced--Robert Macaire, the clever rogue above mentioned, and +Bertrand, the stupid rogue, his friend, accomplice, butt, and scapegoat, +on all occasions of danger. It is needless to describe the play--a +witless performance enough, of which the joke was Macaire's exaggerated +style of conversation, a farrago of all sorts of high-flown sentiments +such as the French love to indulge in--contrasted with his actions, +which were philosophically unscrupulous, and his appearance, which was +most picturesquely sordid. The play had been acted, we believe, and +forgotten, when a very clever actor, M. Frederick Lemaitre, took upon +himself the performance of the character of Robert Macaire, and looked, +spoke, and acted it to such admirable perfection, that the whole town +rung with applauses of the performance, and the caricaturists delighted +to copy his singular figure and costume. M. Robert Macaire appears in a +most picturesque green coat, with a variety of rents and patches, a pair +of crimson pantaloons ornamented in the same way, enormous whiskers +and ringlets, an enormous stock and shirt-frill, as dirty and ragged as +stock and shirt-frill can be, the relic of a hat very gayly cocked over +one eye, and a patch to take away somewhat from the brightness of the +other--these are the principal pieces of his costume--a snuff-box like a +creaking warming-pan, a handkerchief hanging together by a miracle, and +a switch of about the thickness of a man's thigh, formed the ornaments +of this exquisite personage. He is a compound of Fielding's "Blueskin" +and Goldsmith's "Beau Tibbs." He has the dirt and dandyism of the one, +with the ferocity of the other: sometimes he is made to swindle, +but where he can get a shilling more, M. Macaire will murder without +scruple: he performs one and the other act (or any in the scale between +them) with a similar bland imperturbability, and accompanies his actions +with such philosophical remarks as may be expected from a person of his +talents, his energies, his amiable life and character. + +Bertrand is the simple recipient of Macaire's jokes, and makes vicarious +atonement for his crimes, acting, in fact, the part which pantaloon +performs in the pantomime, who is entirely under the fatal influence of +clown. He is quite as much a rogue as that gentleman, but he has not +his genius and courage. So, in pantomimes, (it may, doubtless, have been +remarked by the reader,) clown always leaps first, pantaloon following +after, more clumsily and timidly than his bold and accomplished friend +and guide. Whatever blows are destined for clown, fall, by some means +of ill-luck, upon the pate of pantaloon: whenever the clown robs, the +stolen articles are sure to be found in his companion's pocket; and thus +exactly Robert Macaire and his companion Bertrand are made to go through +the world; both swindlers, but the one more accomplished than the other. +Both robbing all the world, and Robert robbing his friend, and, in the +event of danger, leaving him faithfully in the lurch. There is, in +the two characters, some grotesque good for the spectator--a kind of +"Beggars' Opera" moral. + +Ever since Robert, with his dandified rags and airs, his cane and +snuff-box, and Bertrand with torn surtout and all-absorbing pocket, have +appeared on the stage, they have been popular with the Parisians; and +with these two types of clever and stupid knavery, M. Philipon and his +companion Daumier have created a world of pleasant satire upon all the +prevailing abuses of the day. + +Almost the first figure that these audacious caricaturists dared to +depict was a political one: in Macaire's red breeches and tattered coat +appeared no less a personage than the King himself--the old Poire--in a +country of humbugs and swindlers the facile princeps; fit to govern, as +he is deeper than all the rogues in his dominions. Bertrand was opposite +to him, and having listened with delight and reverence to some tale of +knavery truly royal, was exclaiming with a look and voice expressive of +the most intense admiration, "AH VIEUX BLAGEUR! va!"--the word blague is +untranslatable--it means FRENCH humbug as distinct from all other; and +only those who know the value of an epigram in France, an epigram so +wonderfully just, a little word so curiously comprehensive, can fancy +the kind of rage and rapture with which it was received. It was a blow +that shook the whole dynasty. Thersites had there given such a wound to +Ajax, as Hector in arms could scarcely have inflicted: a blow sufficient +almost to create the madness to which the fabulous hero of Homer and +Ovid fell a prey. + +Not long, however, was French caricature allowed to attack personages +so illustrious: the September laws came, and henceforth no more epigrams +were launched against politics; but the caricaturists were compelled to +confine their satire to subjects and characters that had nothing to +do with the State. The Duke of Orleans was no longer to figure in +lithography as the fantastic Prince Rosolin; no longer were multitudes +(in chalk) to shelter under the enormous shadow of M. d'Argout's nose: +Marshal Loban's squirt was hung up in peace, and M. Thiers's pigmy +figure and round spectacled face were no more to appear in print.* +Robert Macaire was driven out of the Chambers and the Palace--his +remarks were a great deal too appropriate and too severe for the ears of +the great men who congregated in those places. + + * Almost all the principal public men had been most + ludicrously caricatured in the Charivari: those mentioned + above were usually depicted with the distinctive attributes + mentioned by us. + +The Chambers and the Palace were shut to him; but the rogue, driven out +of his rogue's paradise, saw "that the world was all before him where +to choose," and found no lack of opportunities for exercising his wit. +There was the Bar, with its roguish practitioners, rascally attorneys, +stupid juries, and forsworn judges; there was the Bourse, with all its +gambling, swindling, and hoaxing, its cheats and its dupes; the Medical +Profession, and the quacks who ruled it, alternately; the Stage, and the +cant that was prevalent there; the Fashion, and its thousand follies +and extravagances. Robert Macaire had all these to exploiter. Of all +the empire, through all the ranks, professions, the lies, crimes, +and absurdities of men, he may make sport at will; of all except of +a certain class. Like Bluebeard's wife, he may see everything, but +is bidden TO BEWARE OF THE BLUE CHAMBER. Robert is more wise than +Bluebeard's wife, and knows that it would cost him his head to enter it. +Robert, therefore, keeps aloof for the moment. Would there be any use in +his martyrdom? Bluebeard cannot live for ever; perhaps, even now, those +are on their way (one sees a suspicious cloud of dust or two) that are +to destroy him. + +In the meantime Robert and his friend have been furnishing the designs +that we have before us, and of which perhaps the reader will be edified +by a brief description. We are not, to be sure, to judge of the French +nation by M. Macaire, any more than we are to judge of our own national +morals in the last century by such a book as the "Beggars' Opera;" but +upon the morals and the national manners, works of satire afford a world +of light that one would in vain look for in regular books of history. +Doctor Smollett would have blushed to devote any considerable portion +of his pages to a discussion of the acts and character of Mr. Jonathan +Wild, such a figure being hardly admissible among the dignified +personages who usually push all others out from the possession of the +historical page; but a chapter of that gentleman's memoirs, as they are +recorded in that exemplary recueil--the "Newgate Calendar;" nay, a canto +of the great comic epic (involving many fables, and containing much +exaggeration, but still having the seeds of truth) which the satirical +poet of those days wrote in celebration of him--we mean Fielding's +"History of Jonathan Wild the Great"--does seem to us to give a more +curious picture of the manners of those times than any recognized +history of them. At the close of his history of George II., Smollett +condescends to give a short chapter on Literature and Manners. He speaks +of Glover's "Leonidas," Cibber's "Careless Husband," the poems of Mason, +Gray, the two Whiteheads, "the nervous style, extensive erudition, and +superior sense of a Corke; the delicate taste, the polished muse, and +tender feeling of a Lyttelton." "King," he says, "shone unrivalled in +Roman eloquence, the female sex distinguished themselves by their taste +and ingenuity. Miss Carter rivalled the celebrated Dacier in learning +and critical knowledge; Mrs. Lennox signalized herself by many +successful efforts of genius both in poetry and prose; and Miss Reid +excelled the celebrated Rosalba in portrait-painting, both in miniature +and at large, in oil as well as in crayons. The genius of Cervantes was +transferred into the novels of Fielding, who painted the characters and +ridiculed the follies of life with equal strength, humor, and propriety. +The field of history and biography was cultivated by many writers +of ability, among whom we distinguish the copious Guthrie, the +circumstantial Ralph, the laborious Carte, the learned and elegant +Robertson, and above all, the ingenious, penetrating, and comprehensive +Hume," &c. &c. We will quote no more of the passage. Could a man in the +best humor sit down to write a graver satire? Who cares for the tender +muse of Lyttelton? Who knows the signal efforts of Mrs. Lennox's genius? +Who has seen the admirable performances, in miniature and at large, +in oil as well as in crayons, of Miss Reid? Laborious Carte, and +circumstantial Ralph, and copious Guthrie, where are they, their works, +and their reputation? Mrs. Lennox's name is just as clean wiped out +of the list of worthies as if she had never been born; and Miss Reid, +though she was once actual flesh and blood, "rival in miniature and at +large" of the celebrated Rosalba, she is as if she had never been at +all; her little farthing rushlight of a soul and reputation having burnt +out, and left neither wick nor tallow. Death, too, has overtaken copious +Guthrie and circumstantial Ralph. Only a few know whereabouts is the +grave where lies laborious Carte; and yet, O wondrous power of genius! +Fielding's men and women are alive, though History's are not. The +progenitors of circumstantial Ralph sent forth, after much labor and +pains of making, educating, feeding, clothing, a real man child, a +great palpable mass of flesh, bones, and blood (we say nothing about +the spirit), which was to move through the world, ponderous, writing +histories, and to die, having achieved the title of circumstantial +Ralph; and lo! without any of the trouble that the parents of Ralph +had undergone, alone perhaps in a watch or spunging-house, fuddled +most likely, in the blandest, easiest, and most good-humored way in the +world, Henry Fielding makes a number of men and women on so many sheets +of paper, not only more amusing than Ralph or Miss Reid, but more like +flesh and blood, and more alive now than they. Is not Amelia preparing +her husband's little supper? Is not Miss Snapp chastely preventing the +crime of Mr. Firebrand? Is not Parson Adams in the midst of his family, +and Mr. Wild taking his last bowl of punch with the Newgate Ordinary? Is +not every one of them a real substantial HAVE-been personage now--more +real than Reid or Ralph? For our parts, we will not take upon ourselves +to say that they do not exist somewhere else: that the actions +attributed to them have not really taken place; certain we are that they +are more worthy of credence than Ralph, who may or may not have been +circumstantial; who may or may not even have existed, a point unworthy +of disputation. As for Miss Reid, we will take an affidavit that neither +in miniature nor at large did she excel the celebrated Rosalba; and +with regard to Mrs. Lennox, we consider her to be a mere figment, like +Narcissa, Miss Tabitha Bramble, or any hero or heroine depicted by the +historian of "Peregrine Pickle." + +In like manner, after viewing nearly ninety portraits of Robert Macaire +and his friend Bertrand, all strongly resembling each other, we are +inclined to believe in them as historical personages, and to canvass +gravely the circumstances of their lives. Why should we not? Have we +not their portraits? Are not they sufficient proofs? If not, we must +discredit Napoleon (as Archbishop Whately teaches), for about his figure +and himself we have no more authentic testimony. + +Let the reality of M. Robert Macaire and his friend M. Bertrand +be granted, if but to gratify our own fondness for those exquisite +characters: we find the worthy pair in the French capital, mingling +with all grades of its society, pars magna in the intrigues, pleasures, +perplexities, rogueries, speculations, which are carried on in Paris, +as in our own chief city; for it need not be said that roguery is of no +country nor clime, but finds [Greek text omitted], is a citizen of all +countries where the quarters are good; among our merry neighbors it +finds itself very much at its ease. + +Not being endowed, then, with patrimonial wealth, but compelled to +exercise their genius to obtain distinction, or even subsistence, we +see Messrs. Bertrand and Macaire, by turns, adopting all trades and +professions, and exercising each with their own peculiar ingenuity. As +public men, we have spoken already of their appearance in one or two +important characters, and stated that the Government grew fairly jealous +of them, excluding them from office, as the Whigs did Lord Brougham. +As private individuals, they are made to distinguish themselves as the +founders of journals, societes en commandite (companies of which the +members are irresponsible beyond the amount of their shares), and all +sorts of commercial speculations, requiring intelligence and honesty on +the part of the directors, confidence and liberal disbursements from the +shareholders. + +These are, among the French, so numerous, and have been of late years +(in the shape of Newspaper Companies, Bitumen Companies, Galvanized-Iron +Companies, Railroad Companies, &c.) pursued with such a blind FUROR and +lust of gain, by that easily excited and imaginative people, that, as +may be imagined, the satirist has found plenty of occasion for remark, +and M. Macaire and his friend innumerable opportunities for exercising +their talents. + +We know nothing of M. Emile de Girardin, except that, in a duel, he shot +the best man in France, Armaud Carrel; and in Girardin's favor it must +be said, that he had no other alternative; but was right in provoking +the duel, seeing that the whole Republican party had vowed his +destruction, and that he fought and killed their champion, as it were. +We know nothing of M. Girardin's private character: but, as far as +we can judge from the French public prints, he seems to be the most +speculative of speculators, and, of course, a fair butt for the malice +of the caricaturists. His one great crime, in the eyes of the French +Republicans and Republican newspaper proprietors, was, that Girardin set +up a journal, as he called it, "franchement monarchique,"--a journal in +the pay of the monarchy, that is,--and a journal that cost only forty +francs by the year. The National costs twice as much; the Charivari +itself costs half as much again; and though all newspapers, of all +parties, concurred in "snubbing" poor M. Girardin and his journal, the +Republican prints, were by far the most bitter against him, thundering +daily accusations and personalities; whether the abuse was well or +ill founded, we know not. Hence arose the duel with Carrel; after +the termination of which, Girardin put by his pistol, and vowed, very +properly, to assist in the shedding of no more blood. Girardin had been +the originator of numerous other speculations besides the journal: the +capital of these, like that of the journal, was raised by shares, and +the shareholders, by some fatality, have found themselves wofully in the +lurch; while Girardin carries on the war gayly, is, or was, a member +of the Chamber of Deputies, has money, goes to Court, and possesses a +certain kind of reputation. He invented, we believe, the "Institution +Agronome de Coetbo,"* the "Physionotype," the "Journal des +Connoissances Utiles," the "Pantheon Litteraire," and the system +of "Primes"--premiums, that is--to be given, by lottery, to certain +subscribers in these institutions. Could Robert Macaire see such things +going on, and have no hand in them? + + + * It is not necessary to enter into descriptions of these + various inventions. + + +Accordingly Messrs. Macaire and Bertrand are made the heroes of many +speculations of the kind. In almost the first print of our collection, +Robert discourses to Bertrand of his projects. "Bertrand," says the +disinterested admirer of talent and enterprise, "j'adore l'industrie. Si +tu veux nous creons une banque, mais la, une vraie banque: capital +cent millions de millions, cent milliards de milliards d'actions. Nous +enfoncons la banque de France, les banquiers, les banquistes; nous +enfoncons tout le monde." "Oui," says Bertrand, very calm and stupid, +"mais les gendarmes?" "Que tu es bete, Bertrand: est-ce qu'on arrete +un millionaire?" Such is the key to M. Macaire's philosophy; and a wise +creed too, as times go. + +Acting on these principles, Robert appears soon after; he has not +created a bank, but a journal. He sits in a chair of state, and +discourses to a shareholder. Bertrand, calm and stupid as before, stands +humbly behind. "Sir," says the editor of La Blague, journal quotidienne, +"our profits arise from a new combination. The journal costs twenty +francs; we sell it for twenty-three and a half. A million subscribers +make three millions and a half of profits; there are my figures; +contradict me by figures, or I will bring an action for libel." The +reader may fancy the scene takes place in England, where many such a +swindling prospectus has obtained credit ere now. At Plate 33, Robert is +still a journalist; he brings to the editor of a paper an article of his +composition, a violent attack on a law. "My dear M. Macaire," says the +editor, "this must be changed; we must PRAISE this law." "Bon, bon!" +says our versatile Macaire. "Je vais retoucher ca, et je vous fais en +faveur de la loi UN ARTICLE MOUSSEUX." + +Can such things be? Is it possible that French journalists can so +forget themselves? The rogues! they should come to England and learn +consistency. The honesty of the Press in England is like the air we +breathe, without it we die. No, no! in France, the satire may do very +well; but for England it is too monstrous. Call the press stupid, call +it vulgar, call it violent,--but honest it is. Who ever heard of a +journal changing its politics? O tempora! O mores! as Robert Macaire +says, this would be carrying the joke too far. + +When he has done with newspapers, Robert Macaire begins to distinguish +himself on 'Change,* as a creator of companies, a vender of shares, or +a dabbler in foreign stock. "Buy my coal-mine shares," shouts Robert; +"gold mines, silver mines, diamond mines, 'sont de la pot-bouille de la +ratatouille en comparaison de ma houille.'" "Look," says he, on another +occasion, to a very timid, open-countenanced client, "you have a +property to sell! I have found the very man, a rich capitalist, a fellow +whose bills are better than bank-notes." His client sells; the bills are +taken in payment, and signed by that respectable capitalist, Monsieur de +Saint Bertrand. At Plate 81, we find him inditing a circular letter +to all the world, running thus: "Sir,--I regret to say that your +application for shares in the Consolidated European Incombustible +Blacking Association cannot be complied with, as all the shares of the +C. E. I. B. A. were disposed of on the day they were issued. I have, +nevertheless, registered your name, and in case a second series should +be put forth, I shall have the honor of immediately giving you notice. +I am, sir, yours, &c., the Director, Robert Macaire."--"Print 300,000 +of these," he says to Bertrand, "and poison all France with them." As +usual, the stupid Bertrand remonstrates--"But we have not sold a single +share; you have not a penny in your pocket, and"--"Bertrand, you are an +ass; do as I bid you." + + * We have given a description of a genteel Macaire in the + account of M. de Bernard's novels. + +Will this satire apply anywhere in England? Have we any Consolidated +European Blacking Associations amongst us? Have we penniless directors +issuing El Dorado prospectuses, and jockeying their shares through the +market? For information on this head, we must refer the reader to the +newspapers; or if he be connected with the city, and acquainted with +commercial men, he will be able to say whether ALL the persons whose +names figure at the head of announcements of projected companies are as +rich as Rothschild, or quite as honest as heart could desire. + +When Macaire has sufficiently exploite the Bourse, whether as a gambler +in the public funds or other companies, he sagely perceives that it is +time to turn to some other profession, and, providing himself with a +black gown, proposes blandly to Bertrand to set up--a new religion. "Mon +ami," says the repentant sinner, "le temps de la commandite va passer, +MAIS LES BADAUDS NE PASSERONT PAS." (O rare sentence! it should be +written in letters of gold!) "OCCUPONS NOUS DE CE QUI EST ETERNEL. Si +nous fassions une religion?" On which M. Bertrand remarks, "A religion! +what the devil--a religion is not an easy thing to make." But Macaire's +receipt is easy. "Get a gown, take a shop," he says, "borrow some +chairs, preach about Napoleon, or the discovery of America, or +Moliere--and there's a religion for you." + +We have quoted this sentence more for the contrast it offers with +our own manners, than for its merits. After the noble paragraph, "Les +badauds ne passeront pas. Occupons nous de ce qui est eternel," one +would have expected better satire upon cant than the words that follow. +We are not in a condition to say whether the subjects chosen are those +that had been selected by Pere Enfantin, or Chatel, or Lacordaire; but +the words are curious, we think, for the very reason that the satire +is so poor. The fact is, there is no religion in Paris; even clever +M. Philipon, who satirizes everything, and must know, therefore, some +little about the subject which he ridicules, has nothing to say but, +"Preach a sermon, and that makes a religion; anything will do." If +ANYTHING will do, it is clear that the religious commodity is not in +much demand. Tartuffe had better things to say about hypocrisy in his +time; but then Faith was alive; now, there is no satirizing religious +cant in France, for its contrary, true religion, has disappeared +altogether; and having no substance, can cast no shadow. If a satirist +would lash the religious hypocrites in ENGLAND now--the High Church +hypocrites, the Low Church hypocrites, the promiscuous Dissenting +hypocrites, the No Popery hypocrites--he would have ample subject +enough. In France, the religious hypocrites went out with the Bourbons. +Those who remain pious in that country (or, rather, we should say, in +the capital, for of that we speak,) are unaffectedly so, for they have +no worldly benefit to hope for from their piety; the great majority have +no religion at all, and do not scoff at the few, for scoffing is the +minority's weapon, and is passed always to the weaker side, whatever +that may be. Thus H. B. caricatures the Ministers: if by any accident +that body of men should be dismissed from their situations, and be +succeeded by H. B.'s friends, the Tories,--what must the poor artist do? +He must pine away and die, if he be not converted; he cannot always be +paying compliments; for caricature has a spice of Goethe's Devil in +it, and is "der Geist der stets verneint," the Spirit that is always +denying. + +With one or two of the French writers and painters of caricatures, the +King tried the experiment of bribery; which succeeded occasionally in +buying off the enemy, and bringing him from the republican to the royal +camp; but when there, the deserter was never of any use. Figaro, when so +treated, grew fat and desponding, and lost all his sprightly VERVE; +and Nemesis became as gentle as a Quakeress. But these instances of +"ratting" were not many. Some few poets were bought over; but, among +men following the profession of the press, a change of politics is an +infringement of the point of honor, and a man must FIGHT as well +as apostatize. A very curious table might be made, signalizing the +difference of the moral standard between us and the French. Why is the +grossness and indelicacy, publicly permitted in England, unknown in +France, where private morality is certainly at a lower ebb? Why is the +point of private honor now more rigidly maintained among the French? +Why is it, as it should be, a moral disgrace for a Frenchman to go into +debt, and no disgrace for him to cheat his customer? Why is there more +honesty and less--more propriety and less?--and how are we to account +for the particular vices or virtues which belong to each nation in its +turn? + +The above is the Reverend M. Macaire's solitary exploit as a spiritual +swindler: as MAITRE Macaire in the courts of law, as avocat, avoue--in +a humbler capacity even, as a prisoner at the bar, he distinguishes +himself greatly, as may be imagined. On one occasion we find the learned +gentleman humanely visiting an unfortunate detenu--no other person, in +fact, than his friend M. Bertrand, who has fallen into some trouble, and +is awaiting the sentence of the law. He begins-- + +"Mon cher Bertrand, donne moi cent ecus, je te fais acquitter d'emblee." + +"J'ai pas d'argent." + +"He bien, donne moi cent francs." + +"Pas le sou." + +"Tu n'as pas dix francs?" + +"Pas un liard." + +"Alors donne moi tes bottes, je plaiderai la circonstance attenuante." + +The manner in which Maitre Macaire soars from the cent ecus (a high +point already) to the sublime of the boots, is in the best comic style. +In another instance he pleads before a judge, and, mistaking his +client, pleads for defendant, instead of plaintiff. "The infamy of the +plaintiff's character, my LUDS, renders his testimony on such a +charge as this wholly unavailing." "M. Macaire, M. Macaire," cries the +attorney, in a fright, "you are for the plaintiff!" "This, my lords, +is what the defendant WILL SAY. This is the line of defence which the +opposite party intend to pursue; as if slanders like these could weigh +with an enlightened jury, or injure the spotless reputation of my +client!" In this story and expedient M. Macaire has been indebted to the +English bar. If there be an occupation for the English satirist in the +exposing of the cant and knavery of the pretenders to religion, what +room is there for him to lash the infamies of the law! On this point +the French are babes in iniquity compared to us--a counsel prostituting +himself for money is a matter with us so stale, that it is hardly food +for satire: which, to be popular, must find some much more complicated +and interesting knavery whereon to exercise its skill. + +M. Macaire is more skilful in love than in law, and appears once or +twice in a very amiable light while under the influence of the tender +passion. We find him at the head of one of those useful establishments +unknown in our country--a Bureau de Mariage: half a dozen of such places +are daily advertised in the journals: and "une veuve de trente ans ayant +une fortune de deux cent mille francs," or "une demoiselle de quinze +aus, jolie, d'une famille tres distinguee, qui possede trente mille +livres de rentes,"--continually, in this kind-hearted way, are offering +themselves to the public: sometimes it is a gentleman, with a "physique +agreable,--des talens de societe"--and a place under Government, +who makes a sacrifice of himself in a similar manner. In our little +historical gallery we find this philanthropic anti-Malthusian at +the head of an establishment of this kind, introducing a very +meek, simple-looking bachelor to some distinguished ladies of his +connoissance. "Let me present you, sir, to Madame de St. Bertrand" +(it is our old friend), "veuve de la grande armee, et Mdlle Eloa de +Wormspire. Ces dames brulent de l'envie de faire votre connoissance. Je +les ai invitees a diner chez vous ce soir: vous nous menerez a l'opera, +et nous ferons une petite partie d'ecarte. Tenez vous bien, M. Gobard! +ces dames ont des projets sur vous!" + +Happy Gobard! happy system, which can thus bring the pure and loving +together, and acts as the best ally of Hymen! The announcement of +the rank and titles of Madame de St. Bertrand--"veuve de la grande +armee"--is very happy. "La grande armee" has been a father to more +orphans, and a husband to more widows, than it ever made. Mistresses of +cafes, old governesses, keepers of boarding-houses, genteel beggars, and +ladies of lower rank still, have this favorite pedigree. They have all +had malheurs (what kind it is needless to particularize), they are all +connected with the grand homme, and their fathers were all colonels. +This title exactly answers to the "clergyman's daughter" in England--as, +"A young lady, the daughter of a clergyman, is desirous to teach," +&c. "A clergyman's widow receives into her house a few select," and so +forth. "Appeal to the benevolent.--By a series of unheard-of calamities, +a young lady, daughter of a clergyman in the west of England, has been +plunged," &c. &c. The difference is curious, as indicating the standard +of respectability. + +The male beggar of fashion is not so well known among us as in Paris, +where street-doors are open; six or eight families live in a house; and +the gentleman who earns his livelihood by this profession can make half +a dozen visits without the trouble of knocking from house to house, and +the pain of being observed by the whole street, while the footman is +examining him from the area. Some few may be seen in England about the +inns of court, where the locality is favorable (where, however, the +owners of the chambers are not proverbially soft of heart, so that the +harvest must be poor); but Paris is full of such adventurers,--fat, +smooth-tongued, and well dressed, with gloves and gilt-headed canes, who +would be insulted almost by the offer of silver, and expect your gold as +their right. Among these, of course, our friend Robert plays his part; +and an excellent engraving represents him, snuff-box in hand, advancing +to an old gentleman, whom, by his poodle, his powdered head, and his +drivelling, stupid look, one knows to be a Carlist of the old regime. +"I beg pardon," says Robert; "is it really yourself to whom I have +the honor of speaking?"--"It is." "Do you take snuff?"--"I thank +you."--"Sir, I have had misfortunes--I want assistance. I am a Vendean +of illustrious birth. You know the family of Macairbec--we are of Brest. +My grandfather served the King in his galleys; my father and I belong, +also, to the marine. Unfortunate suits at law have plunged us into +difficulties, and I do not hesitate to ask you for the succor of ten +francs."--"Sir, I never give to those I don't know."--"Right, sir, +perfectly right. Perhaps you will have the kindness to LEND me ten +francs?" + +The adventures of Doctor Macaire need not be described, because the +different degrees in quackery which are taken by that learned physician +are all well known in England, where we have the advantage of many +higher degrees in the science, which our neighbors know nothing about. +We have not Hahnemann, but we have his disciples; we have not Broussais, +but we have the College of Health; and surely a dose of Morrison's pills +is a sublimer discovery than a draught of hot water. We had St. John +Long, too--where is his science?--and we are credibly informed that some +important cures have been effected by the inspired dignitaries of "the +church" in Newman Street which, if it continue to practise, will sadly +interfere with the profits of the regular physicians, and where the +miracles of the Abbe of Paris are about to be acted over again. + +In speaking of M. Macaire and his adventures, we have managed so +entirely to convince ourselves of the reality of the personage, that we +have quite forgotten to speak of Messrs. Philipon and Daumier, who are, +the one the inventor, the other the designer, of the Macaire Picture +Gallery. As works of esprit, these drawings are not more remarkable than +they are as works of art, and we never recollect to have seen a series +of sketches possessing more extraordinary cleverness and variety. The +countenance and figure of Macaire and the dear stupid Bertrand are +preserved, of course, with great fidelity throughout; but the +admirable way in which each fresh character is conceived, the grotesque +appropriateness of Robert's every successive attitude and gesticulation, +and the variety of Bertrand's postures of invariable repose, the +exquisite fitness of all the other characters, who act their little +part and disappear from the scene, cannot be described on paper, or too +highly lauded. The figures are very carelessly drawn; but, if the reader +can understand us, all the attitudes and limbs are perfectly CONCEIVED, +and wonderfully natural and various. After pondering over these drawings +for some hours, as we have been while compiling this notice of them, +we have grown to believe that the personages are real, and the scenes +remain imprinted on the brain as if we had absolutely been present at +their acting. Perhaps the clever way in which the plates are colored, +and the excellent effect which is put into each, may add to this +illusion. Now, in looking, for instance, at H. B.'s slim vapory figures, +they have struck us as excellent LIKENESSES of men and women, but +no more: the bodies want spirit, action, and individuality. George +Cruikshank, as a humorist, has quite as much genius, but he does not +know the art of "effect" so well as Monsieur Daumier; and, if we might +venture to give a word of advice to another humorous designer, whose +works are extensively circulated--the illustrator of "Pickwick" and +"Nicholas Nickleby,"--it would be to study well these caricatures of +Monsieur Daumier; who, though he executes very carelessly, knows +very well what he would express, indicates perfectly the attitude and +identity of his figure, and is quite aware, beforehand, of the effect +which he intends to produce. The one we should fancy to be a practised +artist, taking his ease; the other, a young one, somewhat bewildered: +a very clever one, however, who, if he would think more, and exaggerate +less, would add not a little to his reputation. + +Having pursued, all through these remarks, the comparison between +English art and French art, English and French humor, manners, and +morals, perhaps we should endeavor, also, to write an analytical essay +on English cant or humbug, as distinguished from French. It might be +shown that the latter was more picturesque and startling, the former +more substantial and positive. It has none of the poetic flights of the +French genius, but advances steadily, and gains more ground in the +end than its sprightlier compeer. But such a discussion would carry us +through the whole range of French and English history, and the reader +has probably read quite enough of the subject in this and the foregoing +pages. + +We shall, therefore, say no more of French and English caricatures +generally, or of Mr. Macaire's particular accomplishments and +adventures. They are far better understood by examining the original +pictures, by which Philipon and Daumier have illustrated them, than by +translations first into print and afterwards into English. They form +a very curious and instructive commentary upon the present state of +society in Paris, and a hundred years hence, when the whole of this +struggling, noisy, busy, merry race shall have exchanged their pleasures +or occupations for a quiet coffin (and a tawdry lying epitaph) at +Montmartre, or Pere la Chaise; when the follies here recorded shall +have been superseded by new ones, and the fools now so active shall +have given up the inheritance of the world to their children: the latter +will, at least, have the advantage of knowing, intimately and exactly, +the manners of life and being of their grandsires, and calling up, when +they so choose it, our ghosts from the grave, to live, love, quarrel, +swindle, suffer, and struggle on blindly as of yore. And when the amused +speculator shall have laughed sufficiently at the immensity of our +follies, and the paltriness of our aims, smiled at our exploded +superstitions, wondered how this man should be considered great, who +is now clean forgotten (as copious Guthrie before mentioned); how +this should have been thought a patriot who is but a knave spouting +commonplace; or how that should have been dubbed a philosopher who is +but a dull fool, blinking solemn, and pretending to see in the dark; +when he shall have examined all these at his leisure, smiling in a +pleasant contempt and good-humored superiority, and thanking heaven +for his increased lights, he will shut the book, and be a fool as his +fathers were before him. + +It runs in the blood. Well hast thou said, O ragged Macaire,--"Le jour +va passer, MAIS LES BADAUDS NE PASSERONT PAS." + + + + +LITTLE POINSINET. + + +About the year 1760, there lived, at Paris, a little fellow, who was +the darling of all the wags of his acquaintance. Nature seemed, in the +formation of this little man, to have amused herself, by giving loose +to half a hundred of her most comical caprices. He had some wit and +drollery of his own, which sometimes rendered his sallies very amusing; +but, where his friends laughed with him once, they laughed at him a +thousand times, for he had a fund of absurdity in himself that was more +pleasant than all the wit in the world. He was as proud as a peacock, as +wicked as an ape, and as silly as a goose. He did not possess one single +grain of common sense; but, in revenge, his pretensions were enormous, +his ignorance vast, and his credulity more extensive still. From his +youth upwards, he had read nothing but the new novels, and the verses in +the almanacs, which helped him not a little in making, what he called, +poetry of his own; for, of course, our little hero was a poet. All the +common usages of life, all the ways of the world, and all the customs of +society, seemed to be quite unknown to him; add to these good qualities, +a magnificent conceit, a cowardice inconceivable, and a face so +irresistibly comic, that every one who first beheld it was compelled +to burst out a-laughing, and you will have some notion of this strange +little gentleman. He was very proud of his voice, and uttered all his +sentences in the richest tragic tone. He was little better than a dwarf; +but he elevated his eyebrows, held up his neck, walked on the tips of +his toes, and gave himself the airs of a giant. He had a little pair of +bandy legs, which seemed much too short to support anything like a human +body; but, by the help of these crooked supporters, he thought he could +dance like a Grace; and, indeed, fancied all the graces possible were +to be found in his person. His goggle eyes were always rolling about +wildly, as if in correspondence with the disorder of his little brain +and his countenance thus wore an expression of perpetual wonder. With +such happy natural gifts, he not only fell into all traps that were laid +for him, but seemed almost to go out of his way to seek them; although, +to be sure, his friends did not give him much trouble in that search, +for they prepared hoaxes for him incessantly. + +One day the wags introduced him to a company of ladies, who, though not +countesses and princesses exactly, took, nevertheless, those titles upon +themselves for the nonce; and were all, for the same reason, violently +smitten with Master Poinsinet's person. One of them, the lady of the +house, was especially tender; and, seating him by her side at supper, so +plied him with smiles, ogles, and champagne, that our little hero grew +crazed with ecstasy, and wild with love. In the midst of his happiness, +a cruel knock was heard below, accompanied by quick loud talking, +swearing, and shuffling of feet: you would have thought a regiment +was at the door. "Oh heavens!" cried the marchioness, starting up, +and giving to the hand of Poinsinet one parting squeeze; "fly--fly, my +Poinsinet: 'tis the colonel--my husband!" At this, each gentleman of the +party rose, and, drawing his rapier, vowed to cut his way through the +colonel and all his mousquetaires, or die, if need be, by the side of +Poinsinet. + +The little fellow was obliged to lug out his sword too, and went +shuddering down stairs, heartily repenting of his passion for +marchionesses. When the party arrived in the street, they found, sure +enough, a dreadful company of mousquetaires, as they seemed, ready to +oppose their passage. Swords crossed,--torches blazed; and, with the +most dreadful shouts and imprecations, the contending parties rushed +upon one another; the friends of Poinsinet surrounding and supporting +that little warrior, as the French knights did King Francis at Pavia, +otherwise the poor fellow certainly would have fallen down in the gutter +from fright. + +But the combat was suddenly interrupted; for the neighbors, who knew +nothing of the trick going on, and thought the brawl was real, had been +screaming with all their might for the police, who began about this time +to arrive. Directly they appeared, friends and enemies of Poinsinet +at once took to their heels; and, in THIS part of the transaction, at +least, our hero himself showed that he was equal to the longest-legged +grenadier that ever ran away. + +When, at last, those little bandy legs of his had borne him safely to +his lodgings, all Poinsinet's friends crowded round him, to congratulate +him on his escape and his valor. + +"Egad, how he pinked that great red-haired fellow!" said one. + +"No; did I?" said Poinsinet. + +"Did you? Psha! don't try to play the modest, and humbug US; you know +you did. I suppose you will say, next, that you were not for three +minutes point to point with Cartentierce himself, the most dreadful +swordsman of the army." + +"Why, you see," says Poinsinet, quite delighted, "it was so dark that I +did not know with whom I was engaged; although, corbleu, I DID FOR one +or two of the fellows." And after a little more of such conversation, +during which he was fully persuaded that he had done for a dozen of the +enemy at least, Poinsinet went to bed, his little person trembling with +fright and pleasure; and he fell asleep, and dreamed of rescuing ladies, +and destroying monsters, like a second Amadis de Gaul. + +When he awoke in the morning, he found a party of his friends in his +room: one was examining his coat and waistcoat; another was casting many +curious glances at his inexpressibles. "Look here!" said this gentleman, +holding up the garment to the light; "one--two--three gashes! I am +hanged if the cowards did not aim at Poinsinet's legs! There are four +holes in the sword arm of his coat, and seven have gone right through +coat and waistcoat. Good heaven! Poinsinet, have you had a surgeon to +your wounds?" + +"Wounds!" said the little man, springing up, "I don't know--that is, +I hope--that is--O Lord! O Lord! I hope I'm not wounded!" and, after a +proper examination, he discovered he was not. + +"Thank heaven! thank heaven!" said one of the wags (who, indeed, during +the slumbers of Poinsinet had been occupied in making these very holes +through the garments of that individual), "if you have escaped, it is by +a miracle. Alas! alas! all your enemies have not been so lucky." + +"How! is anybody wounded?" said Poinsinet. + +"My dearest friend, prepare yourself; that unhappy man who came to +revenge his menaced honor--that gallant officer--that injured husband, +Colonel Count de Cartentierce--" + +"Well?" + +"IS NO MORE! he died this morning, pierced through with nineteen wounds +from your hand, and calling upon his country to revenge his murder." + +When this awful sentence was pronounced, all the auditory gave a +pathetic and simultaneous sob; and as for Poinsinet, he sank back on his +bed with a howl of terror, which would have melted a Visigoth to tears, +or to laughter. As soon as his terror and remorse had, in some degree, +subsided, his comrades spoke to him of the necessity of making his +escape; and, huddling on his clothes, and bidding them all a tender +adieu, he set off, incontinently, without his breakfast, for England, +America, or Russia, not knowing exactly which. + +One of his companions agreed to accompany him on a part of this +journey,--that is, as far as the barrier of St. Denis, which is, as +everybody knows, on the high road to Dover; and there, being tolerably +secure, they entered a tavern for breakfast; which meal, the last that +he ever was to take, perhaps, in his native city, Poinsinet was just +about to discuss, when, behold! a gentleman entered the apartment where +Poinsinet and his friend were seated, and, drawing from his pocket a +paper, with "AU NOM DU ROY" flourished on the top, read from it, or +rather from Poinsinet's own figure, his exact signalement, laid his hand +on his shoulder, and arrested him in the name of the King, and of the +provost-marshal of Paris. "I arrest you, sir," said he, gravely, "with +regret; you have slain, with seventeen wounds, in single combat, Colonel +Count de Cartentierce, one of his Majesty's household; and, as his +murderer, you fall under the immediate authority of the provost-marshal, +and die without trial or benefit of clergy." + +You may fancy how the poor little man's appetite fell when he heard this +speech. "In the provost-marshal's hands?" said his friend: "then it is +all over, indeed! When does my poor friend suffer, sir?" + +"At half-past six o'clock, the day after to-morrow," said the officer, +sitting down, and helping himself to wine. "But stop," said he, +suddenly; "sure I can't mistake? Yes--no--yes, it is. My dear friend, +my dear Durand! don't you recollect your old schoolfellow, Antoine?" And +herewith the officer flung himself into the arms of Durand, Poinsinet's +comrade, and they performed a most affecting scene of friendship. + +"This may be of some service to you," whispered Durand to Poinsinet; +and, after some further parley, he asked the officer when he was bound +to deliver up his prisoner; and, hearing that he was not called upon to +appear at the Marshalsea before six o'clock at night, Monsieur Durand +prevailed upon Monsieur Antoine to wait until that hour, and in the +meantime to allow his prisoner to walk about the town in his company. +This request was, with a little difficulty, granted; and poor Poinsinet +begged to be carried to the houses of his various friends, and bid them +farewell. Some were aware of the trick that had been played upon him: +others were not; but the poor little man's credulity was so great, that +it was impossible to undeceive him; and he went from house to house +bewailing his fate, and followed by the complaisant marshal's officer. + +The news of his death he received with much more meekness than could +have been expected; but what he could not reconcile to himself was, the +idea of dissection afterwards. "What can they want with me?" cried the +poor wretch, in an unusual fit of candor. "I am very small and ugly; +it would be different if I were a tall fine-looking fellow." But he +was given to understand that beauty made very little difference to the +surgeons, who, on the contrary, would, on certain occasions, prefer a +deformed man to a handsome one; for science was much advanced by the +study of such monstrosities. With this reason Poinsinet was obliged to +be content; and so paid his rounds of visits, and repeated his dismal +adieux. + +The officer of the provost-marshal, however amusing Poinsinet's woes +might have been, began, by this time, to grow very weary of them, +and gave him more than one opportunity to escape. He would stop at +shop-windows, loiter round corners, and look up in the sky, but all in +vain: Poinsinet would not escape, do what the other would. At length, +luckily, about dinner-time, the officer met one of Poinsinet's friends +and his own: and the three agreed to dine at a tavern, as they had +breakfasted; and here the officer, who vowed that he had been up +for five weeks incessantly, fell suddenly asleep, in the profoundest +fatigue; and Poinsinet was persuaded, after much hesitation on his part, +to take leave of him. + +And now, this danger overcome, another was to be avoided. Beyond a doubt +the police were after him, and how was he to avoid them? He must be +disguised, of course; and one of his friends, a tall, gaunt lawyer's +clerk, agreed to provide him with habits. + +So little Poinsinet dressed himself out in the clerk's dingy black suit, +of which the knee-breeches hung down to his heels, and the waist of the +coat reached to the calves of his legs; and, furthermore, he blacked his +eyebrows, and wore a huge black periwig, in which his friend vowed that +no one could recognize him. But the most painful incident, with regard +to the periwig, was, that Poinsinet, whose solitary beauty--if beauty +it might be called--was a head of copious, curling, yellow hair, was +compelled to snip off every one of his golden locks, and to rub the +bristles with a black dye; "for if your wig were to come off," said the +lawyer, "and your fair hair to tumble over your shoulders, every man +would know, or at least suspect you." So off the locks were cut, and in +his black suit and periwig little Poinsinet went abroad. + +His friends had their cue; and when he appeared amongst them, not one +seemed to know him. He was taken into companies where his character was +discussed before him, and his wonderful escape spoken of. At last he was +introduced to the very officer of the provost-marshal who had taken him +into custody, and who told him that he had been dismissed the provost's +service, in consequence of the escape of the prisoner. Now, for the +first time, poor Poinsinet thought himself tolerably safe, and blessed +his kind friends who had procured for him such a complete disguise. +How this affair ended I know not,--whether some new lie was coined to +account for his release, or whether he was simply told that he had been +hoaxed: it mattered little; for the little man was quite as ready to be +hoaxed the next day. + +Poinsinet was one day invited to dine with one of the servants of +the Tuileries; and, before his arrival, a person in company had been +decorated with a knot of lace and a gold key, such as chamberlains wear; +he was introduced to Poinsinet as the Count de Truchses, chamberlain to +the King of Prussia. After dinner the conversation fell upon the Count's +visit to Paris; when his Excellency, with a mysterious air, vowed that +he had only come for pleasure. "It is mighty well," said a third person, +"and, of course, we can't cross-question your lordship too closely;" +but at the same time it was hinted to Poinsinet that a person of such +consequence did not travel for NOTHING, with which opinion Poinsinet +solemnly agreed; and, indeed, it was borne out by a subsequent +declaration of the Count, who condescended, at last, to tell the +company, in confidence, that he HAD a mission, and a most important +one--to find, namely, among the literary men of France, a governor for +the Prince Royal of Prussia. The company seemed astonished that the King +had not made choice of Voltaire or D'Alembert, and mentioned a dozen +other distinguished men who might be competent to this important duty; +but the Count, as may be imagined, found objections to every one of +them; and, at last, one of the guests said, that, if his Prussian +Majesty was not particular as to age, he knew a person more fitted for +the place than any other who could be found,--his honorable friend, M. +Poinsinet, was the individual to whom he alluded. + +"Good heavens!" cried the Count, "is it possible that the celebrated +Poinsinet would take such a place? I would give the world to see +him?" And you may fancy how Poinsinet simpered and blushed when the +introduction immediately took place. + +The Count protested to him that the King would be charmed to know him; +and added, that one of his operas (for it must be told that our little +friend was a vaudeville-maker by trade) had been acted seven-and-twenty +times at the theatre at Potsdam. His Excellency then detailed to him all +the honors and privileges which the governor of the Prince Royal might +expect; and all the guests encouraged the little man's vanity, by asking +him for his protection and favor. In a short time our hero grew +so inflated with pride and vanity, that he was for patronizing the +chamberlain himself, who proceeded to inform him that he was furnished +with all the necessary powers by his sovereign, who had specially +enjoined him to confer upon the future governor of his son the royal +order of the Black Eagle. + +Poinsinet, delighted, was ordered to kneel down; and the Count produced +a large yellow ribbon, which he hung over his shoulder, and which was, +he declared, the grand cordon of the order. You must fancy Poinsinet's +face, and excessive delight at this; for as for describing them, nobody +can. For four-and-twenty hours the happy chevalier paraded through Paris +with this flaring yellow ribbon; and he was not undeceived until his +friends had another trick in store for him. + +He dined one day in the company of a man who understood a little of the +noble art of conjuring, and performed some clever tricks on the cards. +Poinsinet's organ of wonder was enormous; he looked on with the gravity +and awe of a child, and thought the man's tricks sheer miracles. It +wanted no more to set his companions to work. + +"Who is this wonderful man?" said he to his neighbor. + +"Why," said the other, mysteriously, "one hardly knows who he is; or, +at least, one does not like to say to such an indiscreet fellow as +you are." Poinsinet at once swore to be secret. "Well, then," said his +friend, "you will hear that man--that wonderful man--called by a name +which is not his: his real name is Acosta: he is a Portuguese Jew, a +Rosicrucian, and Cabalist of the first order, and compelled to leave +Lisbon for fear of the Inquisition. He performs here, as you see, some +extraordinary things, occasionally; but the master of the house, who +loves him excessively, would not, for the world, that his name should be +made public." + +"Ah, bah!" said Poinsinet, who affected the bel esprit; "you don't mean +to say that you believe in magic, and cabalas, and such trash?" + +"Do I not? You shall judge for yourself." And, accordingly, Poinsinet +was presented to the magician, who pretended to take a vast liking +for him, and declared that he saw in him certain marks which would +infallibly lead him to great eminence in the magic art, if he chose to +study it. + +Dinner was served, and Poinsinet placed by the side of the +miracle-worker, who became very confidential with him, and promised +him--ay, before dinner was over--a remarkable instance of his power. +Nobody, on this occasion, ventured to cut a single joke against poor +Poinsinet; nor could he fancy that any trick was intended against him, +for the demeanor of the society towards him was perfectly grave and +respectful, and the conversation serious. On a sudden, however, somebody +exclaimed, "Where is Poinsinet? Did any one see him leave the room?" + +All the company exclaimed how singular the disappearance was; and +Poinsinet himself, growing alarmed, turned round to his neighbor, and +was about to explain. + +"Hush!" said the magician, in a whisper; "I told you that you should see +what I could do. I HAVE MADE YOU INVISIBLE; be quiet, and you shall see +some more tricks that I shall play with these fellows." + +Poinsinet remained then silent, and listened to his neighbors, who +agreed, at last, that he was a quiet, orderly personage, and had left +the table early, being unwilling to drink too much. Presently they +ceased to talk about him, and resumed their conversation upon other +matters. + +At first it was very quiet and grave, but the master of the house +brought back the talk to the subject of Poinsinet, and uttered all sorts +of abuse concerning him. He begged the gentleman, who had introduced +such a little scamp into his house, to bring him thither no more: +whereupon the other took up, warmly, Poinsinet's defence; declared that +he was a man of the greatest merit, frequenting the best society, and +remarkable for his talents as well as his virtues. + +"Ah!" said Poinsinet to the magician, quite charmed at what he heard, +"how ever shall I thank you, my dear sir, for thus showing me who my +true friends are?" + +The magician promised him still further favors in prospect; and told +him to look out now, for he was about to throw all the company into a +temporary fit of madness, which, no doubt, would be very amusing. + +In consequence, all the company, who had heard every syllable of the +conversation, began to perform the most extraordinary antics, much to +the delight of Poinsinet. One asked a nonsensical question, and the +other delivered an answer not at all to the purpose. If a man asked for +a drink, they poured him out a pepper-box or a napkin: they took a pinch +of snuff, and swore it was excellent wine; and vowed that the bread was +the most delicious mutton ever tasted. The little man was delighted. + +"Ah!" said he, "these fellows are prettily punished for their rascally +backbiting of me!" + +"Gentlemen," said the host, "I shall now give you some celebrated +champagne," and he poured out to each a glass of water. + +"Good heavens!" said one, spitting it out, with the most horrible +grimace, "where did you get this detestable claret?" + +"Ah, faugh!" said a second, "I never tasted such vile corked burgundy in +all my days!" and he threw the glass of water into Poinsinet's face, as +did half a dozen of the other guests, drenching the poor wretch to the +skin. To complete this pleasant illusion, two of the guests fell +to boxing across Poinsinet, who received a number of the blows, and +received them with the patience of a fakir, feeling himself more +flattered by the precious privilege of beholding this scene invisible, +than hurt by the blows and buffets which the mad company bestowed upon +him. + +The fame of this adventure spread quickly over Paris, and all the world +longed to have at their houses the representation of Poinsinet the +Invisible. The servants and the whole company used to be put up to the +trick; and Poinsinet, who believed in his invisibility as much as he did +in his existence, went about with his friend and protector the magician. +People, of course, never pretended to see him, and would very often +not talk of him at all for some time, but hold sober conversation about +anything else in the world. When dinner was served, of course there was +no cover laid for Poinsinet, who carried about a little stool, on +which he sat by the side of the magician, and always ate off his plate. +Everybody was astonished at the magician's appetite and at the quantity +of wine he drank; as for little Poinsinet, he never once suspected any +trick, and had such a confidence in his magician, that, I do believe, +if the latter had told him to fling himself out of window, he would have +done so, without the slightest trepidation. + +Among other mystifications in which the Portuguese enchanter plunged +him, was one which used to afford always a good deal of amusement. He +informed Poinsinet, with great mystery, that HE WAS NOT HIMSELF; he +was not, that is to say, that ugly, deformed little monster, called +Poinsinet; but that his birth was most illustrious, and his real name +Polycarte. He was, in fact, the son of a celebrated magician; but +other magicians, enemies of his father, had changed him in his cradle, +altering his features into their present hideous shape, in order that +a silly old fellow, called Poinsinet, might take him to be his own son, +which little monster the magician had likewise spirited away. + +The poor wretch was sadly cast down at this; for he tried to fancy +that his person was agreeable to the ladies, of whom he was one of +the warmest little admirers possible; and to console him somewhat, the +magician told him that his real shape was exquisitely beautiful, and as +soon as he should appear in it, all the beauties in Paris would be at +his feet. But how to regain it? "Oh, for one minute of that beauty!" +cried the little man; "what would he not give to appear under that +enchanting form!" The magician hereupon waved his stick over his head, +pronounced some awful magical words, and twisted him round three times; +at the third twist, the men in company seemed struck with astonishment +and envy, the ladies clasped their hands, and some of them kissed his. +Everybody declared his beauty to be supernatural. + +Poinsinet, enchanted, rushed to a glass. "Fool!" said the magician; +"do you suppose that YOU can see the change? My power to render you +invisible, beautiful, or ten times more hideous even than you are, +extends only to others, not to you. You may look a thousand times in +the glass, and you will only see those deformed limbs and disgusting +features with which devilish malice has disguised you." Poor +little Poinsinet looked, and came back in tears. "But," resumed the +magician,--"ha, ha, ha!--I know a way in which to disappoint the +machinations of these fiendish magi." + +"Oh, my benefactor!--my great master!--for heaven's sake tell it!" +gasped Poinsinet. + +"Look you--it is this. A prey to enchantment and demoniac art all your +life long, you have lived until your present age perfectly satisfied; +nay, absolutely vain of a person the most singularly hideous that ever +walked the earth!" + +"IS it?" whispered Poinsinet. "Indeed and indeed I didn't think it so +bad!" + +"He acknowledges it! he acknowledges it!" roared the magician. "Wretch, +dotard, owl, mole, miserable buzzard! I have no reason to tell thee now +that thy form is monstrous, that children cry, that cowards turn pale, +that teeming matrons shudder to behold it. It is not thy fault that thou +art thus ungainly: but wherefore so blind? wherefore so conceited of +thyself! I tell thee, Poinsinet, that over every fresh instance of thy +vanity the hostile enchanters rejoice and triumph. As long as thou +art blindly satisfied with thyself; as long as thou pretendest, in thy +present odious shape, to win the love of aught above a negress; nay, +further still, until thou hast learned to regard that face, as others +do, with the most intolerable horror and disgust, to abuse it when thou +seest it, to despise it, in short, and treat that miserable disguise in +which the enchanters have wrapped thee with the strongest, hatred and +scorn, so long art thou destined to wear it." + +Such speeches as these, continually repeated, caused Poinsinet to be +fully convinced of his ugliness; he used to go about in companies, and +take every opportunity of inveighing against himself; he made verses and +epigrams against himself; he talked about "that dwarf, Poinsinet;" "that +buffoon, Poinsinet;" "that conceited, hump-backed Poinsinet;" and he +would spend hours before the glass, abusing his own face as he saw +it reflected there, and vowing that he grew handsomer at every fresh +epithet that he uttered. + +Of course the wags, from time to time, used to give him every possible +encouragement, and declared that since this exercise, his person was +amazingly improved. The ladies, too, began to be so excessively fond of +him, that the little fellow was obliged to caution them at last--for the +good, as he said, of society; he recommended them to draw lots, for +he could not gratify them all; but promised when his metamorphosis was +complete, that the one chosen should become the happy Mrs. Poinsinet; +or, to speak more correctly, Mrs. Polycarte. + +I am sorry to say, however, that, on the score of gallantry, Poinsinet +was never quite convinced of the hideousness of his appearance. He had a +number of adventures, accordingly, with the ladies, but strange to say, +the husbands or fathers were always interrupting him. On one occasion +he was made to pass the night in a slipper-bath full of water; where, +although he had all his clothes on, he declared that he nearly caught +his death of cold. Another night, in revenge, the poor fellow + + + --"dans le simple appareil + D'une beaute, qu'on vient d'arracher au sommeil," + + +spent a number of hours contemplating the beauty of the moon on the +tiles. These adventures are pretty numerous in the memoirs of M. +Poinsinet; but the fact is, that people in France were a great deal +more philosophical in those days than the English are now, so that +Poinsinet's loves must be passed over, as not being to our taste. His +magician was a great diver, and told Poinsinet the most wonderful tales +of his two minutes' absence under water. These two minutes, he said, +lasted through a year, at least, which he spent in the company of a +naiad, more beautiful than Venus, in a palace more splendid than even +Versailles. Fired by the description, Poinsinet used to dip, and dip, +but he never was known to make any mermaid acquaintances, although he +fully believed that one day he should find such. + +The invisible joke was brought to an end by Poinsinet's too great +reliance on it; for being, as we have said, of a very tender and +sanguine disposition, he one day fell in love with a lady in whose +company he dined, and whom he actually proposed to embrace; but the +fair lady, in the hurry of the moment, forgot to act up to the joke; and +instead of receiving Poinsinet's salute with calmness, grew indignant, +called him an impudent little scoundrel, and lent him a sound box on +the ear. With this slap the invisibility of Poinsinet disappeared, the +gnomes and genii left him, and he settled down into common life again, +and was hoaxed only by vulgar means. + +A vast number of pages might be filled with narratives of the tricks +that were played upon him; but they resemble each other a good deal, +as may be imagined, and the chief point remarkable about them is the +wondrous faith of Poinsinet. After being introduced to the Prussian +ambassador at the Tuileries, he was presented to the Turkish envoy at +the Place Vendome, who received him in state, surrounded by the officers +of his establishment, all dressed in the smartest dresses that the +wardrobe of the Opera Comique could furnish. + +As the greatest honor that could be done to him, Poinsinet was invited +to eat, and a tray was produced, on which was a delicate dish prepared +in the Turkish manner. This consisted of a reasonable quantity of +mustard, salt, cinnamon and ginger, nutmegs and cloves, with a couple +of tablespoonfuls of cayenne pepper, to give the whole a flavor; and +Poinsinet's countenance may be imagined when he introduced into his +mouth a quantity of this exquisite compound. + +"The best of the joke was," says the author who records so many of the +pitiless tricks practised upon poor Poinsinet, "that the little man used +to laugh at them afterwards himself with perfect good humor; and lived +in the daily hope that, from being the sufferer, he should become +the agent in these hoaxes, and do to others as he had been done by." +Passing, therefore, one day, on the Pont Neuf, with a friend, who had +been one of the greatest performers, the latter said to him, "Poinsinet, +my good fellow, thou hast suffered enough, and thy sufferings have made +thee so wise and cunning, that thou art worthy of entering among the +initiated, and hoaxing in thy turn." Poinsinet was charmed; he asked +when he should be initiated, and how? It was told him that a moment +would suffice, and that the ceremony might be performed on the spot. At +this news, and according to order, Poinsinet flung himself straightway +on his knees in the kennel; and the other, drawing his sword, solemnly +initiated him into the sacred order of jokers. From that day the little +man believed himself received into the society; and to this having +brought him, let us bid him a respectful adieu. + + + + +THE DEVIL'S WAGER. + + +It was the hour of the night when there be none stirring save churchyard +ghosts--when all doors are closed except the gates of graves, and all +eyes shut but the eyes of wicked men. + +When there is no sound on the earth except the ticking of the +grasshopper, or the croaking of obscene frogs in the poole. + +And no light except that of the blinking starres, and the wicked and +devilish wills-o'-the-wisp, as they gambol among the marshes, and lead +good men astraye. + +When there is nothing moving in heaven except the owle, as he flappeth +along lazily; or the magician, as he rides on his infernal broomsticke, +whistling through the aire like the arrowes of a Yorkshire archere. + +It was at this hour (namely, at twelve o'clock of the night,) that two +beings went winging through the black clouds, and holding converse with +each other. + +Now the first was Mercurius, the messenger, not of gods (as the heathens +feigned), but of daemons; and the second, with whom he held company, was +the soul of Sir Roger de Rollo, the brave knight. Sir Roger was Count +of Chauchigny, in Champagne; Seigneur of Santerre, Villacerf and aultre +lieux. But the great die as well as the humble; and nothing remained of +brave Rodger now, but his coffin and his deathless soul. + +And Mercurius, in order to keep fast the soul, his companion, had bound +him round the neck with his tail; which, when the soul was stubborn, he +would draw so tight as to strangle him wellnigh, sticking into him the +barbed point thereof; whereat the poor soul, Sir Rollo, would groan and +roar lustily. + +Now they two had come together from the gates of purgatorie, being bound +to those regions of fire and flame where poor sinners fry and roast in +saecula saeculorum. + +"It is hard," said the poor Sir Rollo, as they went gliding through the +clouds, "that I should thus be condemned for ever, and all for want of a +single ave." + +"How, Sir Soul?" said the daemon. "You were on earth so wicked, that +not one, or a million of aves, could suffice to keep from hell-flame +a creature like thee; but cheer up and be merry; thou wilt be but a +subject of our lord the Devil, as am I; and, perhaps, thou wilt be +advanced to posts of honor, as am I also:" and to show his authoritie, +he lashed with his tail the ribbes of the wretched Rollo. + +"Nevertheless, sinner as I am, one more ave would have saved me; for my +sister, who was Abbess of St. Mary of Chauchigny, did so prevail, by her +prayer and good works, for my lost and wretched soul, that every day I +felt the pains of purgatory decrease; the pitchforks which, on my first +entry, had never ceased to vex and torment my poor carcass, were now +not applied above once a week; the roasting had ceased, the boiling +had discontinued; only a certain warmth was kept up, to remind me of my +situation." + +"A gentle stewe," said the daemon. + +"Yea, truly, I was but in a stew, and all from the effects of the +prayers of my blessed sister. But yesterday, he who watched me in +purgatory told me, that yet another prayer from my sister, and my +bonds should be unloosed, and I, who am now a devil, should have been a +blessed angel." + +"And the other ave?" said the daemon. + +"She died, sir--my sister died--death choked her in the middle of +the prayer." And hereat the wretched spirit began to weepe and whine +piteously; his salt tears falling over his beard, and scalding the tail +of Mercurius the devil. + +"It is, in truth, a hard case," said the daemon; "but I know of +no remedy save patience, and for that you will have an excellent +opportunity in your lodgings below." + +"But I have relations," said the Earl; "my kinsman Randal, who has +inherited my lands, will he not say a prayer for his uncle?" + +"Thou didst hate and oppress him when living." + +"It is true; but an ave is not much; his sister, my niece, Matilda--" + +"You shut her in a convent, and hanged her lover." + +"Had I not reason? besides, has she not others?" + +"A dozen, without doubt." + +"And my brother, the prior?" + +"A liege subject of my lord the Devil: he never opens his mouth, except +to utter an oath, or to swallow a cup of wine." + +"And yet, if but one of these would but say an ave for me, I should be +saved." + +"Aves with them are rarae aves," replied Mercurius, wagging his tail +right waggishly; "and, what is more, I will lay thee any wager that not +one of these will say a prayer to save thee." + +"I would wager willingly," responded he of Chauchigny; "but what has a +poor soul like me to stake?" + +"Every evening, after the day's roasting, my lord Satan giveth a cup of +cold water to his servants; I will bet thee thy water for a year, that +none of the three will pray for thee." + +"Done!" said Rollo. + +"Done!" said the daemon; "and here, if I mistake not, is thy castle of +Chauchigny." + +Indeed, it was true. The soul, on looking down, perceived the tall +towers, the courts, the stables, and the fair gardens of the castle. +Although it was past midnight, there was a blaze of light in the +banqueting-hall, and a lamp burning in the open window of the Lady +Matilda. + +"With whom shall we begin?" said the daemon: "with the baron or the +lady?" + +"With the lady, if you will." + +"Be it so; her window is open, let us enter." + +So they descended, and entered silently into Matilda's chamber. + + +The young lady's eyes were fixed so intently on a little clock, that +it was no wonder that she did not perceive the entrance of her two +visitors. Her fair cheek rested on her white arm, and her white arm on +the cushion of a great chair in which she sat, pleasantly supported by +sweet thoughts and swan's down; a lute was at her side, and a book +of prayers lay under the table (for piety is always modest). Like the +amorous Alexander, she sighed and looked (at the clock)--and sighed for +ten minutes or more, when she softly breathed the word "Edward!" + +At this the soul of the Baron was wroth. "The jade is at her old +pranks," said he to the devil; and then addressing Matilda: "I pray +thee, sweet niece, turn thy thoughts for a moment from that villanous +page, Edward, and give them to thine affectionate uncle." + +When she heard the voice, and saw the awful apparition of her uncle (for +a year's sojourn in purgatory had not increased the comeliness of his +appearance), she started, screamed, and of course fainted. + +But the devil Mercurius soon restored her to herself. "What's o'clock?" +said she, as soon as she had recovered from her fit: "is he come?" + +"Not thy lover, Maude, but thine uncle--that is, his soul. For the love +of heaven, listen to me: I have been frying in purgatory for a year +past, and should have been in heaven but for the want of a single ave." + +"I will say it for thee to-morrow, uncle." + +"To-night, or never." + +"Well, to-night be it:" and she requested the devil Mercurius to give +her the prayer-book from under the table; but he had no sooner touched +the holy book than he dropped it with a shriek and a yell. "It was +hotter," he said, "than his master Sir Lucifer's own particular +pitchfork." And the lady was forced to begin her ave without the aid of +her missal. + +At the commencement of her devotions the daemon retired, and carried +with him the anxious soul of poor Sir Roger de Rollo. + +The lady knelt down--she sighed deeply; she looked again at the clock, +and began-- + +"Ave Maria." + +When a lute was heard under the window, and a sweet voice singing-- + +"Hark!" said Matilda. + + + "Now the toils of day are over, + And the sun hath sunk to rest, + Seeking, like a fiery lover, + The bosom of the blushing west-- + + "The faithful night keeps watch and ward, + Raising the moon, her silver shield, + And summoning the stars to guard + The slumbers of my fair Mathilde!" + + +"For mercy's sake!" said Sir Rollo, "the ave first, and next the song." + +So Matilda again dutifully betook her to her devotions, and began-- + +"Ave Maria gratia plena!" but the music began again, and the prayer +ceased of course. + + + "The faithful night! Now all things lie + Hid by her mantle dark and dim, + In pious hope I hither hie, + And humbly chant mine ev'ning hymn. + + "Thou art my prayer, my saint, my shrine! + (For never holy pilgrim kneel'd, + Or wept at feet more pure than thine), + My virgin love, my sweet Mathilde!" + + +"Virgin love!" said the Baron. "Upon my soul, this is too bad!" and he +thought of the lady's lover whom he had caused to be hanged. + +But SHE only thought of him who stood singing at her window. + +"Niece Matilda!" cried Sir Roger, agonizedly, "wilt thou listen to the +lies of an impudent page, whilst thine uncle is waiting but a dozen +words to make him happy?" + +At this Matilda grew angry: "Edward is neither impudent nor a liar, Sir +Uncle, and I will listen to the end of the song." + +"Come away," said Mercurius; "he hath yet got wield, field, sealed, +congealed, and a dozen other rhymes beside; and after the song will come +the supper." + +So the poor soul was obliged to go; while the lady listened, and the +page sung away till morning. + + +"My virtues have been my ruin," said poor Sir Rollo, as he and Mercurius +slunk silently out of the window. "Had I hanged that knave Edward, as I +did the page his predecessor, my niece would have sung mine ave, and I +should have been by this time an angel in heaven." + +"He is reserved for wiser purposes," responded the devil: "he will +assassinate your successor, the lady Mathilde's brother; and, in +consequence, will be hanged. In the love of the lady he will be +succeeded by a gardener, who will be replaced by a monk, who will +give way to an ostler, who will be deposed by a Jew pedler, who shall, +finally, yield to a noble earl, the future husband of the fair Mathilde. +So that, you see, instead of having one poor soul a-frying, we may now +look forward to a goodly harvest for our lord the Devil." + +The soul of the Baron began to think that his companion knew too much +for one who would make fair bets; but there was no help for it; he would +not, and he could not, cry off: and he prayed inwardly that the brother +might be found more pious than the sister. + +But there seemed little chance of this. As they crossed the court, +lackeys, with smoking dishes and, full jugs, passed and repassed +continually, although it was long past midnight. On entering the hall, +they found Sir Randal at the head of a vast table, surrounded by a +fiercer and more motley collection of individuals than had congregated +there even in the time of Sir Rollo. The lord of the castle had +signified that "it was his royal pleasure to be drunk," and the +gentlemen of his train had obsequiously followed their master. Mercurius +was delighted with the scene, and relaxed his usually rigid countenance +into a bland and benevolent smile, which became him wonderfully. + +The entrance of Sir Roger, who had been dead about a year, and a person +with hoofs, horns, and a tail, rather disturbed the hilarity of the +company. Sir Randal dropped his cup of wine; and Father Peter, the +confessor, incontinently paused in the midst of a profane song, with +which he was amusing the society. + +"Holy Mother!" cried he, "it is Sir Roger." + +"Alive!" screamed Sir Randal. + +"No, my lord," Mercurius said; "Sir Roger is dead, but cometh on a +matter of business; and I have the honor to act as his counsellor and +attendant." + +"Nephew," said Sir Roger, "the daemon saith justly; I am come on a +trifling affair, in which thy service is essential." + +"I will do anything, uncle, in my power." + +"Thou canst give me life, if thou wilt?" But Sir Randal looked very +blank at this proposition. "I mean life spiritual, Randal," said Sir +Roger; and thereupon he explained to him the nature of the wager. + +Whilst he was telling his story, his companion Mercurius was playing all +sorts of antics in the hall; and, by his wit and fun, became so popular +with this godless crew, that they lost all the fear which his first +appearance had given them. The friar was wonderfully taken with him, +and used his utmost eloquence and endeavors to convert the devil; the +knights stopped drinking to listen to the argument; the men-at-arms +forbore brawling; and the wicked little pages crowded round the two +strange disputants, to hear their edifying discourse. The ghostly man, +however, had little chance in the controversy, and certainly little +learning to carry it on. Sir Randal interrupted him. "Father Peter," +said he, "our kinsman is condemned for ever, for want of a single ave: +wilt thou say it for him?" "Willingly, my lord," said the monk, "with my +book;" and accordingly he produced his missal to read, without which aid +it appeared that the holy father could not manage the desired prayer. +But the crafty Mercurius had, by his devilish art, inserted a song in +the place of the ave, so that Father Peter, instead of chanting an hymn, +sang the following irreverent ditty-- + + + "Some love the matin-chimes, which toll + The hour of prayer to sinner: + But better far's the mid-day bell, + Which speaks the hour of dinner; + For when I see a smoking fish, + Or capon drown'd in gravy, + Or noble haunch on silver dish, + Full glad I sing mine ave. + + "My pulpit is an ale-house bench, + Whereon I sit so jolly; + A smiling rosy country wench + My saint and patron holy. + I kiss her cheek so red and sleek, + I press her ringlets wavy; + And in her willing ear I speak + A most religious ave. + + "And if I'm blind, yet heaven is kind, + And holy saints forgiving; + For sure he leads a right good life + Who thus admires good living. + Above, they say, our flesh is air, + Our blood celestial ichor: + Oh, grant! mid all the changes there, + They may not change our liquor!" + + +And with this pious wish the holy confessor tumbled under the table in +an agony of devout drunkenness; whilst the knights, the men-at-arms, and +the wicked little pages, rang out the last verse with a most melodious +and emphatic glee. "I am sorry, fair uncle," hiccupped Sir Randal, +"that, in the matter of the ave, we could not oblige thee in a more +orthodox manner; but the holy father has failed, and there is not +another man in the hall who hath an idea of a prayer." + +"It is my own fault," said Sir Rollo; "for I hanged the last confessor." +And he wished his nephew a surly good-night, as he prepared to quit the +room. + +"Au revoir, gentlemen," said the devil Mercurius; and once more fixed +his tail round the neck of his disappointed companion. + +The spirit of poor Rollo was sadly cast down; the devil, on the +contrary, was in high good humor. He wagged his tail with the most +satisfied air in the world, and cut a hundred jokes at the expense of +his poor associate. On they sped, cleaving swiftly through the cold +night winds, frightening the birds that were roosting in the woods, and +the owls that were watching in the towers. + +In the twinkling of an eye, as it is known, devils can fly hundreds of +miles: so that almost the same beat of the clock which left these two in +Champagne, found them hovering over Paris. They dropped into the court +of the Lazarist Convent, and winded their way, through passage and +cloister, until they reached the door of the prior's cell. + +Now the prior, Rollo's brother, was a wicked and malignant sorcerer; his +time was spent in conjuring devils and doing wicked deeds, instead of +fasting, scourging, and singing holy psalms: this Mercurius knew; and +he, therefore, was fully at ease as to the final result of his wager +with poor Sir Roger. + +"You seem to be well acquainted with the road," said the knight. + +"I have reason," answered Mercurius, "having, for a long period, had the +acquaintance of his reverence, your brother; but you have little chance +with him." + +"And why?" said Sir Rollo. + +"He is under a bond to my master, never to say a prayer, or else his +soul and his body are forfeited at once." + +"Why, thou false and traitorous devil!" said the enraged knight; "and +thou knewest this when we made our wager?" + +"Undoubtedly: do you suppose I would have done so had there been any +chance of losing?" + +And with this they arrived at Father Ignatius's door. + +"Thy cursed presence threw a spell on my niece, and stopped the tongue +of my nephew's chaplain; I do believe that had I seen either of them +alone, my wager had been won." + +"Certainly; therefore, I took good care to go with thee: however, thou +mayest see the prior alone, if thou wilt; and lo! his door is open. I +will stand without for five minutes, when it will be time to commence +our journey." + +It was the poor Baron's last chance: and he entered his brother's room +more for the five minutes' respite than from any hope of success. + +Father Ignatius, the prior, was absorbed in magic calculations: he stood +in the middle of a circle of skulls, with no garment except his long +white beard, which reached to his knees; he was waving a silver rod, and +muttering imprecations in some horrible tongue. + +But Sir Rollo came forward and interrupted his incantation. "I am," said +he, "the shade of thy brother Roger de Rollo; and have come, from pure +brotherly love, to warn thee of thy fate." + +"Whence camest thou?" + +"From the abode of the blessed in Paradise," replied Sir Roger, who was +inspired with a sudden thought; "it was but five minutes ago that the +Patron Saint of thy church told me of thy danger, and of thy wicked +compact with the fiend. 'Go,' said he, 'to thy miserable brother, and +tell him there is but one way by which he may escape from paying the +awful forfeit of his bond.'" + +"And how may that be?" said the prior; "the false fiend hath deceived +me; I have given him my soul, but have received no worldly benefit in +return. Brother! dear brother! how may I escape?" + +"I will tell thee. As soon as I heard the voice of blessed St. Mary +Lazarus" (the worthy Earl had, at a pinch, coined the name of a saint), +"I left the clouds, where, with other angels, I was seated, and sped +hither to save thee. 'Thy brother,' said the Saint, 'hath but one day +more to live, when he will become for all eternity the subject of Satan; +if he would escape, he must boldly break his bond, by saying an ave.'" + +"It is the express condition of the agreement," said the unhappy monk, +"I must say no prayer, or that instant I become Satan's, body and soul." + +"It is the express condition of the Saint," answered Roger, fiercely; +"pray, brother, pray, or thou art lost for ever." + +So the foolish monk knelt down, and devoutly sung out an ave. "Amen!" +said Sir Roger, devoutly. + +"Amen!" said Mercurius, as, suddenly, coming behind, he seized +Ignatius by his long beard, and flew up with him to the top of the +church-steeple. + +The monk roared, and screamed, and swore against his brother; but it +was of no avail: Sir Roger smiled kindly on him, and said, "Do not fret, +brother; it must have come to this in a year or two." + +And he flew alongside of Mercurius to the steeple-top: BUT THIS TIME THE +DEVIL HAD NOT HIS TAIL ROUND HIS NECK. "I will let thee off thy bet," +said he to the daemon; for he could afford, now, to be generous. + +"I believe, my lord," said the daemon, politely, "that our ways separate +here." Sir Roger sailed gayly upwards: while Mercurius having bound the +miserable monk faster than ever, he sunk downwards to earth, and perhaps +lower. Ignatius was heard roaring and screaming as the devil dashed him +against the iron spikes and buttresses of the church. + + +The moral of this story will be given in the second edition. + + + + +MADAME SAND AND THE NEW APOCALYPSE. + + +I don't know an impression more curious than that which is formed in a +foreigner's mind, who has been absent from this place for two or three +years, returns to it, and beholds the change which has taken place, in +the meantime, in French fashions and ways of thinking. Two years ago, +for instance, when I left the capital, I left the young gentlemen of +France with their hair brushed en toupet in front, and the toes of their +boots round; now the boot-toes are pointed, and the hair combed +flat, and, parted in the middle, falls in ringlets on the fashionable +shoulders; and, in like manner, with books as with boots, the fashion +has changed considerably, and it is not a little curious to contrast +the old modes with the new. Absurd as was the literary dandyism of those +days, it is not a whit less absurd now: only the manner is changed, and +our versatile Frenchmen have passed from one caricature to another. + +The revolution may be called a caricature of freedom, as the empire +was of glory; and what they borrow from foreigners undergoes the same +process. They take top-boots and mackintoshes from across the water, and +caricature our fashions; they read a little, very little, Shakespeare, +and caricature our poetry: and while in David's time art and religion +were only a caricature of Heathenism, now, on the contrary, these +two commodities are imported from Germany; and distorted caricatures +originally, are still farther distorted on passing the frontier. + +I trust in heaven that German art and religion will take no hold in our +country (where there is a fund of roast-beef that will expel any such +humbug in the end); but these sprightly Frenchmen have relished the +mystical doctrines mightily; and having watched the Germans, with their +sanctified looks, and quaint imitations of the old times, and mysterious +transcendental talk, are aping many of their fashions; as well and +solemnly as they can: not very solemnly, God wot; for I think one should +always prepare to grin when a Frenchman looks particularly grave, being +sure that there is something false and ridiculous lurking under the +owl-like solemnity. + +When last in Paris, we were in the midst of what was called a Catholic +reaction. Artists talked of faith in poems and pictures; churches +were built here and there; old missals were copied and purchased; and +numberless portraits of saints, with as much gilding about them as +ever was used in the fifteenth century, appeared in churches, ladies' +boudoirs, and picture-shops. One or two fashionable preachers rose, and +were eagerly followed; the very youth of the schools gave up their pipes +and billiards for some time, and flocked in crowds to Notre Dame, to sit +under the feet of Lacordaire. I went to visit the Church of Notre Dame +de Lorette yesterday, which was finished in the heat of this Catholic +rage, and was not a little struck by the similarity of the place to +the worship celebrated in it, and the admirable manner in which the +architect has caused his work to express the public feeling of the +moment. It is a pretty little bijou of a church: it is supported by sham +marble pillars; it has a gaudy ceiling of blue and gold, which will look +very well for some time; and is filled with gaudy pictures and carvings, +in the very pink of the mode. The congregation did not offer a bad +illustration of the present state of Catholic reaction. Two or three +stray people were at prayers; there was no service; a few countrymen +and idlers were staring about at the pictures; and the Swiss, the paid +guardian of the place, was comfortably and appropriately asleep on his +bench at the door. I am inclined to think the famous reaction is over: +the students have taken to their Sunday pipes and billiards again; and +one or two cafes have been established, within the last year, that are +ten times handsomer than Notre Dame de Lorette. + +However, if the immortal Goerres and the German mystics have had their +day, there is the immortal Goethe, and the Pantheists; and I incline to +think that the fashion has set very strongly in their favor. Voltaire +and the Encyclopaedians are voted, now, barbares, and there is no term +of reprobation strong enough for heartless Humes and Helvetiuses, +who lived but to destroy, and who only thought to doubt. Wretched as +Voltaire's sneers and puns are, I think there is something more +manly and earnest even in them, than in the present muddy French +transcendentalism. Pantheism is the word now; one and all have begun to +eprouver the besoin of a religious sentiment; and we are deluged with +a host of gods accordingly. Monsieur de Balzac feels himself to be +inspired; Victor Hugo is a god; Madame Sand is a god; that tawdry man of +genius, Jules Janin, who writes theatrical reviews for the Debats, has +divine intimations; and there is scarce a beggarly, beardless scribbler +of poems and prose, but tells you, in his preface, of the saintete of +the sacerdoce litteraire; or a dirty student, sucking tobacco and +beer, and reeling home with a grisette from the chaumiere, who is not +convinced of the necessity of a new "Messianism," and will hiccup, to +such as will listen, chapters of his own drunken Apocalypse. Surely, the +negatives of the old days were far less dangerous than the assertions of +the present; and you may fancy what a religion that must be, which has +such high priests. + +There is no reason to trouble the reader with details of the lives of +many of these prophets and expounders of new revelations. Madame Sand, +for instance, I do not know personally, and can only speak of her from +report. True or false, the history, at any rate, is not very edifying; +and so may be passed over: but, as a certain great philosopher told us, +in very humble and simple words, that we are not to expect to gather +grapes from thorns, or figs from thistles, we may, at least, demand, in +all persons assuming the character of moralist or philosopher--order, +soberness, and regularity of life; for we are apt to distrust the +intellect that we fancy can be swayed by circumstance or passion; and we +know how circumstance and passion WILL sway the intellect: how mortified +vanity will form excuses for itself; and how temper turns angrily upon +conscience, that reproves it. How often have we called our judge our +enemy, because he has given sentence against us!--How often have we +called the right wrong, because the right condemns us! And in the lives +of many of the bitter foes of the Christian doctrine, can we find no +personal reason for their hostility? The men in Athens said it was out +of regard for religion that they murdered Socrates; but we have had +time, since then, to reconsider the verdict; and Socrates' character is +pretty pure now, in spite of the sentence and the jury of those days. + +The Parisian philosophers will attempt to explain to you the changes +through which Madame Sand's mind has passed,--the initiatory trials, +labors, and sufferings which she has had to go through,--before she +reached her present happy state of mental illumination. She teaches +her wisdom in parables, that are, mostly, a couple of volumes long; and +began, first, by an eloquent attack on marriage, in the charming novel +of "Indiana." "Pity," cried she, "for the poor woman who, united to a +being whose brute force makes him her superior, should venture to break +the bondage which is imposed on her, and allow her heart to be free." + +In support of this claim of pity, she writes two volumes of the most +exquisite prose. What a tender, suffering creature is Indiana; how +little her husband appreciates that gentleness which he is crushing by +his tyranny and brutal scorn; how natural it is that, in the absence +of his sympathy, she, poor clinging confiding creature, should seek +elsewhere for shelter; how cautious should we be, to call criminal--to +visit with too heavy a censure--an act which is one of the natural +impulses of a tender heart, that seeks but for a worthy object of love. +But why attempt to tell the tale of beautiful Indiana? Madame Sand has +written it so well, that not the hardest-hearted husband in Christendom +can fail to be touched by her sorrows, though he may refuse to listen +to her argument. Let us grant, for argument's sake, that the laws of +marriage, especially the French laws of marriage, press very cruelly +upon unfortunate women. + +But if one wants to have a question of this, or any nature, honestly +argued, it is, better, surely, to apply to an indifferent person for +an umpire. For instance, the stealing of pocket-handkerchiefs or +snuff-boxes may or may not be vicious; but if we, who have not the wit, +or will not take the trouble to decide the question ourselves, want to +hear the real rights of the matter, we should not, surely, apply to a +pickpocket to know what he thought on the point. It might naturally be +presumed that he would be rather a prejudiced person--particularly +as his reasoning, if successful, might get him OUT OF GAOL. This is a +homely illustration, no doubt; all we would urge by it is, that Madame +Sand having, according to the French newspapers, had a stern husband, +and also having, according to the newspapers, sought "sympathy" +elsewhere, her arguments may be considered to be somewhat partial, and +received with some little caution. + +And tell us who have been the social reformers?--the haters, that is, +of the present system, according to which we live, love, marry, have +children, educate them, and endow them--ARE THEY PURE THEMSELVES? I do +believe not one; and directly a man begins to quarrel with the world and +its ways, and to lift up, as he calls it, the voice of his despair, and +preach passionately to mankind about this tyranny of faith, customs, +laws; if we examine what the personal character of the preacher is, we +begin pretty clearly to understand the value of the doctrine. Any one +can see why Rousseau should be such a whimpering reformer, and Byron +such a free and easy misanthropist, and why our accomplished Madame +Sand, who has a genius and eloquence inferior to neither, should take +the present condition of mankind (French-kind) so much to heart, and +labor so hotly to set it right. + +After "Indiana" (which, we presume, contains the lady's notions upon +wives and husbands) came "Valentine," which may be said to exhibit her +doctrine, in regard of young men and maidens, to whom the author would +accord, as we fancy, the same tender license. "Valentine" was followed +by "Lelia," a wonderful book indeed, gorgeous in eloquence, and rich in +magnificent poetry: a regular topsyturvyfication of morality, a +thieves' and prostitutes' apotheosis. This book has received some late +enlargements and emendations by the writer; it contains her notions on +morals, which, as we have said, are so peculiar, that, alas! they only +can be mentioned here, not particularized: but of "Spiridion" we may +write a few pages, as it is her religious manifesto. + +In this work, the lady asserts her pantheistical doctrine, and openly +attacks the received Christian creed. She declares it to be useless now, +and unfitted to the exigencies and the degree of culture of the actual +world; and, though it would be hardly worth while to combat her opinions +in due form, it is, at least, worth while to notice them, not merely +from the extraordinary eloquence and genius of the woman herself, but +because they express the opinions of a great number of people besides: +for she not only produces her own thoughts, but imitates those of others +very eagerly; and one finds in her writings so much similarity with +others, or, in others, so much resemblance to her, that the book before +us may pass for the expression of the sentiments of a certain French +party. + +"Dieu est mort," says another writer of the same class, and of great +genius too.--"Dieu est mort," writes Mr. Henry Heine, speaking +of the Christian God; and he adds, in a daring figure of +speech;--"N'entendez-vous pas sonner la Clochette?--on porte les +sacremens a un Dieu qui se meurt!" Another of the pantheist poetical +philosophers, Mr. Edgar Quinet, has a poem, in which Christ and the +Virgin Mary are made to die similarly, and the former is classed with +Prometheus. This book of "Spiridion" is a continuation of the theme, and +perhaps you will listen to some of the author's expositions of it. + +It must be confessed that the controversialists of the present day have +an eminent advantage over their predecessors in the days of folios; +it required some learning then to write a book, and some time, at +least--for the very labor of writing out a thousand such vast pages +would demand a considerable period. But now, in the age of duodecimos, +the system is reformed altogether: a male or female controversialist +draws upon his imagination, and not his learning; makes a story instead +of an argument, and, in the course of 150 pages (where the preacher has +it all his own way) will prove or disprove you anything. And, to our +shame be it said, we Protestants have set the example of this kind of +proselytism--those detestable mixtures of truth, lies, false sentiment, +false reasoning, bad grammar, correct and genuine philanthropy and +piety--I mean our religious tracts, which any woman or man, be he ever +so silly, can take upon himself to write, and sell for a penny, as if +religious instruction were the easiest thing in the world. We, I say, +have set the example in this kind of composition, and all the sects +of the earth will, doubtless, speedily follow it. I can point you out +blasphemies in famous pious tracts that are as dreadful as those above +mentioned; but this is no place for such discussions, and we had better +return to Madame Sand. As Mrs. Sherwood expounds, by means of many +touching histories and anecdotes of little boys and girls, her notions +of church history, church catechism, church doctrine;--as the author +of "Father Clement, a Roman Catholic Story," demolishes the stately +structure of eighteen centuries, the mighty and beautiful Roman Catholic +faith, in whose bosom repose so many saints and sages,--by the means +of a three-and-sixpenny duodecimo volume, which tumbles over the vast +fabric, as David's pebble-stone did Goliath;--as, again, the Roman +Catholic author of "Geraldine" falls foul of Luther and Calvin, and +drowns the awful echoes of their tremendous protest by the sounds of +her little half-crown trumpet: in like manner, by means of pretty +sentimental tales, and cheap apologues, Mrs. Sand proclaims HER +truth--that we need a new Messiah, and that the Christian religion is +no more! O awful, awful name of God! Light unbearable! Mystery +unfathomable! Vastness immeasurable!--Who are these who come forward to +explain the mystery, and gaze unblinking into the depths of the light, +and measure the immeasurable vastness to a hair? O name, that God's +people of old did fear to utter! O light, that God's prophet would +have perished had he seen! Who are these that are now so familiar with +it?--Women, truly; for the most part weak women--weak in intellect, +weak mayhap in spelling and grammar, but marvellously strong in +faith:--women, who step down to the people with stately step and voice +of authority, and deliver their twopenny tablets, as if there were some +Divine authority for the wretched nonsense recorded there! + +With regard to the spelling and grammar, our Parisian Pythoness stands, +in the goodly fellowship, remarkable. Her style is a noble, and, as far +as a foreigner can judge, a strange tongue, beautifully rich and pure. +She has a very exuberant imagination, and, with it, a very chaste style +of expression. She never scarcely indulges in declamation, as other +modern prophets do, and yet her sentences are exquisitely melodious +and full. She seldom runs a thought to death (after the manner of some +prophets, who, when they catch a little one, toy with it until they kill +it), but she leaves you at the end of one of her brief, rich, melancholy +sentences, with plenty of food for future cogitation. I can't express +to you the charm of them; they seem to me like the sound of country +bells--provoking I don't know what vein of musing and meditation, and +falling sweetly and sadly on the ear. + +This wonderful power of language must have been felt by most people +who read Madame Sand's first books, "Valentine" and "Indiana": in +"Spiridion" it is greater, I think, than ever; and for those who are +not afraid of the matter of the novel, the manner will be found most +delightful. The author's intention, I presume, is to describe, in +a parable, her notions of the downfall of the Catholic church; and, +indeed, of the whole Christian scheme: she places her hero in a +monastery in Italy, where, among the characters about him, and the +events which occur, the particular tenets of Madame Dudevant's doctrine +are not inaptly laid down. Innocent, faithful, tender-hearted, a young +monk, by name Angel, finds himself, when he has pronounced his vows, an +object of aversion and hatred to the godly men whose lives he so much +respects, and whose love he would make any sacrifice to win. After +enduring much, he flings himself at the feet of his confessor, and begs +for his sympathy and counsel; but the confessor spurns him away, and +accuses him, fiercely, of some unknown and terrible crime--bids him +never return to the confessional until contrition has touched his heart, +and the stains which sully his spirit are, by sincere repentance, washed +away. + +"Thus speaking," says Angel, "Father Hegesippus tore away his robe, +which I was holding in my supplicating hands. In a sort of wildness I +still grasped it tighter; he pushed me fiercely from him, and I fell +with my face towards the ground. He quitted me, closing violently after +him the door of the sacristy, in which this scene had passed. I was +left alone in the darkness. Either from the violence of my fall, or the +excess of my grief, a vein had burst in my throat, and a haemorrhage +ensued. I had not the force to rise; I felt my senses rapidly sinking, +and, presently, I lay stretched on the pavement, unconscious, and bathed +in my blood." + +[Now the wonderful part of the story begins.] + +"I know not how much time I passed in this way. As I came to myself +I felt an agreeable coolness. It seemed as if some harmonious air was +playing round about me, stirring gently in my hair, and drying the drops +of perspiration on my brow. It seemed to approach, and then again to +withdraw, breathing now softly and sweetly in the distance, and now +returning, as if to give me strength and courage to rise. + +"I would not, however, do so as yet; for I felt myself, as I lay, under +the influence of a pleasure quite new to me; and listened, in a kind +of peaceful aberration, to the gentle murmurs of the summer wind, as it +breathed on me through the closed window-blinds above me. Then I fancied +I heard a voice that spoke to me from the end of the sacristy: +it whispered so low that I could not catch the words. I remained +motionless, and gave it my whole attention. At last I heard, distinctly, +the following sentence:--'Spirit of Truth, raise up these victims of +ignorance and imposture.' 'Father Hegesippus,' said I, in a weak voice, +'is that you who are returning to me?' But no one answered. I lifted +myself on my hands and knees, I listened again, but I heard nothing. I +got up completely, and looked about me: I had fallen so near to the +only door in this little room, that none, after the departure of the +confessor, could have entered it without passing over me; besides, the +door was shut, and only opened from the inside by a strong lock of the +ancient shape. I touched it, and assured myself that it was closed. I +was seized with terror, and, for some moments, did not dare to move. +Leaning against the door, I looked round, and endeavored to see into +the gloom in which the angles of the room were enveloped. A pale light, +which came from an upper window, half closed, was seen to be trembling +in the midst of the apartment. The wind beat the shutter to and fro, +and enlarged or diminished the space through which the light issued. The +objects which were in this half light--the praying-desk, surmounted by +its skull--a few books lying on the benches--a surplice hanging against +the wall--seemed to move with the shadow of the foliage that the air +agitated behind the window. When I thought I was alone, I felt ashamed +of my former timidity; I made the sign of the cross, and was about to +move forward in order to open the shutter altogether, but a deep sigh +came from the praying-desk, and kept me nailed to my place. And yet I +saw the desk distinctly enough to be sure that no person was near it. +Then I had an idea which gave me courage. Some person, I thought, is +behind the shutter, and has been saying his prayers outside without +thinking of me. But who would be so bold as to express such wishes and +utter such a prayer as I had just heard? + +"Curiosity, the only passion and amusement permitted in a cloister, now +entirely possessed me, and I advanced towards the window. But I had not +made a step when a black shadow, as it seemed to me, detaching itself +from the praying-desk, traversed the room, directing itself towards the +window, and passed swiftly by me. The movement was so rapid that I had +not time to avoid what seemed a body advancing towards me, and my fright +was so great that I thought I should faint a second time. But I felt +nothing, and, as if the shadow had passed through me, I saw it suddenly +disappear to my left. + +"I rushed to the window, I pushed back the blind with precipitation, and +looked round the sacristy: I was there, entirely alone. I looked into +the garden--it was deserted, and the mid-day wind was wandering among +the flowers. I took courage, I examined all the corners of the room; I +looked behind the praying-desk, which was very large, and I shook all +the sacerdotal vestments which were hanging on the walls, everything was +in its natural condition, and could give me no explanation of what had +just occurred. The sight of all the blood I had lost led me to fancy +that my brain had, probably, been weakened by the haemorrhage, and that +I had been a prey to some delusion. I retired to my cell, and remained +shut up there until the next day." + +I don't know whether the reader has been as much struck with the above +mysterious scene as the writer has; but the fancy of it strikes me +as very fine; and the natural SUPERNATURALNESS is kept up in the best +style. The shutter swaying to and fro, the fitful LIGHT APPEARING over +the furniture of the room, and giving it an air of strange motion--the +awful shadow which passed through the body of the timid young +novice--are surely very finely painted. "I rushed to the shutter, and +flung it back: there was no one in the sacristy. I looked into the +garden; it was deserted, and the mid-day wind was roaming among the +flowers." The dreariness is wonderfully described: only the poor pale +boy looking eagerly out from the window of the sacristy, and the hot +mid-day wind walking in the solitary garden. How skilfully is each of +these little strokes dashed in, and how well do all together combine +to make a picture! But we must have a little more about Spiridion's +wonderful visitant. + + +"As I entered into the garden, I stepped a little on one side, to make +way for a person whom I saw before me. He was a young man of surprising +beauty, and attired in a foreign costume. Although dressed in the large +black robe which the superiors of our order wear, he had, underneath, a +short jacket of fine cloth, fastened round the waist by a leathern belt, +and a buckle of silver, after the manner of the old German students. +Like them, he wore, instead of the sandals of our monks, short tight +boots; and over the collar of his shirt, which fell on his shoulders, +and was as white as snow, hung, in rich golden curls, the most beautiful +hair I ever saw. He was tall, and his elegant posture seemed to reveal +to me that he was in the habit of commanding. With much respect, and +yet uncertain, I half saluted him. He did not return my salute; but he +smiled on me with so benevolent an air, and at the same time, his +eyes severe and blue, looked towards me with an expression of such +compassionate tenderness, that his features have never since then passed +away from my recollection. I stopped, hoping he would speak to me, and +persuading myself, from the majesty of his aspect, that he had the power +to protect me; but the monk, who was walking behind me, and who did not +seem to remark him in the least, forced him brutally to step aside from +the walk, and pushed me so rudely as almost to cause me to fall. Not +wishing to engage in a quarrel with this coarse monk, I moved away; but, +after having taken a few steps in the garden, I looked back, and saw the +unknown still gazing on me with looks of the tenderest solicitude. The +sun shone full upon him, and made his hair look radiant. He sighed, and +lifted his fine eyes to heaven, as if to invoke its justice in my favor, +and to call it to bear witness to my misery; he turned slowly towards +the sanctuary, entered into the quire, and was lost, presently, in +the shade. I longed to return, spite of the monk, to follow this +noble stranger, and to tell him my afflictions; but who was he, that I +imagined he would listen to them, and cause them to cease? I felt, even +while his softness drew me towards him, that he still inspired me with +a kind of fear; for I saw in his physiognomy as much austerity as +sweetness." + + +Who was he?--we shall see that. He was somebody very mysterious indeed; +but our author has taken care, after the manner of her sex, to make +a very pretty fellow of him, and to dress him in the most becoming +costumes possible. + + +The individual in tight boots and a rolling collar, with the copious +golden locks, and the solemn blue eyes, who had just gazed on Spiridion, +and inspired him with such a feeling of tender awe, is a much more +important personage than the reader might suppose at first sight. This +beautiful, mysterious, dandy ghost, whose costume, with a true woman's +coquetry, Madame Dudevant has so rejoiced to describe--is her religious +type, a mystical representation of Faith struggling up towards Truth, +through superstition, doubt, fear, reason,--in tight inexpressibles, +with "a belt such as is worn by the old German students." You will +pardon me for treating such an awful person as this somewhat lightly; +but there is always, I think, such a dash of the ridiculous in the +French sublime, that the critic should try and do justice to both, or +he may fail in giving a fair account of either. This character of +Hebronius, the type of Mrs. Sand's convictions--if convictions they +may be called--or, at least, the allegory under which her doubts are +represented, is, in parts, very finely drawn; contains many passages of +truth, very deep and touching, by the side of others so entirely absurd +and unreasonable, that the reader's feelings are continually swaying +between admiration and something very like contempt--always in a kind of +wonder at the strange mixture before him. But let us hear Madame Sand:-- + +"Peter Hebronius," says our author, "was not originally so named. His +real name was Samuel. He was a Jew, and born in a little village in the +neighborhood of Innsprueck. His family, which possessed a considerable +fortune, left him, in his early youth, completely free to his own +pursuits. From infancy he had shown that these were serious. He loved to +be alone and passed his days, and sometimes his nights, wandering among +the mountains and valleys in the neighborhood of his birthplace. He +would often sit by the brink of torrents, listening to the voice of +their waters, and endeavoring to penetrate the meaning which Nature had +hidden in those sounds. As he advanced in years, his inquiries became +more curious and more grave. It was necessary that he should receive +a solid education, and his parents sent him to study in the German +universities. Luther had been dead only a century, and his words and his +memory still lived in the enthusiasm of his disciples. The new faith was +strengthening the conquests it had made; the Reformers were as ardent +as in the first days, but their ardor was more enlightened and more +measured. Proselytism was still carried on with zeal, and new converts +were made every day. In listening to the morality and to the dogmas +which Lutheranism had taken from Catholicism, Samuel was filled with +admiration. His bold and sincere spirit instantly compared the doctrines +which were now submitted to him, with those in the belief of which +he had been bred; and, enlightened by the comparison, was not slow +to acknowledge the inferiority of Judaism. He said to himself, that +a religion made for a single people, to the exclusion of all +others,--which only offered a barbarous justice for rule of +conduct,--which neither rendered the present intelligible nor +satisfactory, and left the future uncertain,--could not be that of noble +souls and lofty intellects; and that he could not be the God of truth +who had dictated, in the midst of thunder, his vacillating will, and had +called to the performance of his narrow wishes the slaves of a vulgar +terror. Always conversant with himself, Samuel, who had spoken what he +thought, now performed what he had spoken; and, a year after his arrival +in Germany, solemnly abjured Judaism, and entered into the bosom of the +Reformed Church. As he did not wish to do things by halves, and desired +as much as was in him to put off the old man and lead a new life, he +changed his name of Samuel to that of Peter. Some time passed, during +which he strengthened and instructed himself in his new religion. Very +soon he arrived at the point of searching for objections to refute, and +adversaries to overthrow. Bold and enterprising, he went at once to the +strongest, and Bossuet was the first Catholic author that he set himself +to read. He commenced with a kind of disdain; believing that the faith +which he had just embraced contained the pure truth. He despised all +the attacks which could be made against it, and laughed already at the +irresistible arguments which he was to find in the works of the Eagle of +Meaux. But his mistrust and irony soon gave place to wonder first, +and then to admiration: he thought that the cause pleaded by such an +advocate must, at least, be respectable; and, by a natural transition, +came to think that great geniuses would only devote themselves to that +which was great. He then studied Catholicism with the same ardor and +impartiality which he had bestowed on Lutheranism. He went into France +to gain instruction from the professors of the Mother Church, as he +had from the Doctors of the reformed creed in Germany. He saw Arnauld +Fenelon, that second Gregory of Nazianzen, and Bossuet himself. Guided +by these masters, whose virtues made him appreciate their talents +the more, he rapidly penetrated to the depth of the mysteries of the +Catholic doctrine and morality. He found, in this religion, all that +had for him constituted the grandeur and beauty of Protestantism,--the +dogmas of the Unity and Eternity of God, which the two religions had +borrowed from Judaism; and, what seemed the natural consequence of +the last doctrine--a doctrine, however, to which the Jews had not +arrived--the doctrine of the immortality of the soul; free will in this +life; in the next, recompense for the good, and punishment for the evil. +He found, more pure, perhaps, and more elevated in Catholicism than in +Protestantism, that sublime morality which preaches equality to man, +fraternity, love, charity, renouncement of self, devotion to your +neighbor; Catholicism, in a word, seemed to possess that vast formula, +and that vigorous unity, which Lutheranism wanted. The latter had, +indeed, in its favor, the liberty of inquiry, which is also a want of +the human mind; and had proclaimed the authority of individual reason: +but it had so lost that which is the necessary basis and vital condition +of all revealed religion--the principle of infallibility; because +nothing can live except in virtue of the laws that presided at its +birth; and, in consequence, one revelation cannot be continued and +confirmed without another. Now, infallibility is nothing but revelation +continued by God, or the Word, in the person of his vicars. + +"At last, after much reflection, Hebronius acknowledged himself entirely +and sincerely convinced, and received baptism from the hands of Bossuet. +He added the name of Spiridion to that of Peter, to signify that he +had been twice enlightened by the Spirit. Resolved thenceforward to +consecrate his life to the worship of the new God who had called him to +Him, and to the study of His doctrines, he passed into Italy, and, with +the aid of a large fortune, which one of his uncles, a Catholic like +himself, had left to him, he built this convent where we now are." + + +A friend of mine, who has just come from Italy, says that he has there +left Messrs. Sp--r, P--l, and W. Dr--d, who were the lights of the great +church in Newman Street, who were themselves apostles, and declared and +believed that every word of nonsense which fell from their lips was a +direct spiritual intervention. These gentlemen have become Puseyites +already, and are, my friend states, in the high way to Catholicism. +Madame Sand herself was a Catholic some time since: having been +converted to that faith along with M. N--, of the Academy of Music; Mr. +L--, the pianoforte player; and one or two other chosen individuals, by +the famous Abbe de la M--. Abbe de la M-- (so told me in the Diligence, +a priest, who read his breviary and gossiped alternately very curiously +and pleasantly) is himself an ame perdue: the man spoke of his brother +clergyman with actual horror; and it certainly appears that the Abbe's +works of conversion have not prospered; for Madame Sand, having brought +her hero (and herself, as we may presume) to the point of Catholicism, +proceeds directly to dispose of that as she has done of Judaism and +Protestantism, and will not leave, of the whole fabric of Christianity, +a single stone standing. + +I think the fate of our English Newman Street apostles, and of M. de la +M--, the mad priest, and his congregation of mad converts, should be +a warning to such of us as are inclined to dabble in religious +speculations; for, in them, as in all others, our flighty brains soon +lose themselves, and we find our reason speedily lying prostrated at the +mercy of our passions; and I think that Madame Sand's novel of Spiridion +may do a vast deal of good, and bears a good moral with it; though not +such an one, perhaps, as our fair philosopher intended. For anything he +learned, Samuel-Peter-Spiridion-Hebronius might have remained a Jew from +the beginning to the end. Wherefore be in such a hurry to set up new +faiths? Wherefore, Madame Sand, try and be so preternaturally wise? +Wherefore be so eager to jump out of one religion, for the purpose of +jumping into another? See what good this philosophical friskiness has +done you, and on what sort of ground you are come at last. You are +so wonderfully sagacious, that you flounder in mud at every step; so +amazingly clear-sighted, that your eyes cannot see an inch before you, +having put out, with that extinguishing genius of yours, every one of +the lights that are sufficient for the conduct of common men. And for +what? Let our friend Spiridion speak for himself. After setting up his +convent, and filling it with monks, who entertain an immense respect +for his wealth and genius, Father Hebronius, unanimously elected prior, +gives himself up to further studies, and leaves his monks to themselves. +Industrious and sober as they were, originally, they grow quickly +intemperate and idle; and Hebronius, who does not appear among his flock +until he has freed himself of the Catholic religion, as he has of the +Jewish and the Protestant, sees, with dismay, the evil condition of +his disciples, and regrets, too late, the precipitancy by which he +renounced, then and for ever, Christianity. "But, as he had no new +religion to adopt in its place, and as, grown more prudent and calm, he +did not wish to accuse himself unnecessarily, once more, of inconstancy +and apostasy, he still maintained all the exterior forms of the worship +which inwardly he had abjured. But it was not enough for him to have +quitted error, it was necessary to discover truth. But Hebronius had +well looked round to discover it; he could not find anything that +resembled it. Then commenced for him a series of sufferings, unknown +and terrible. Placed face to face with doubt, this sincere and religious +spirit was frightened at its own solitude; and as it had no other desire +nor aim on earth than truth, and nothing else here below interested it, +he lived absorbed in his own sad contemplations, looked ceaselessly into +the vague that surrounded him like an ocean without bounds, and seeing +the horizon retreat and retreat as ever he wished to near it. Lost in +this immense uncertainty, he felt as if attacked by vertigo, and his +thoughts whirled within his brain. Then, fatigued with his vain +toils and hopeless endeavors, he would sink down depressed, unmanned, +life-wearied, only living in the sensation of that silent grief which he +felt and could not comprehend." + +It is a pity that this hapless Spiridion, so eager in his passage +from one creed to another, and so loud in his profession of the truth, +wherever he fancied that he had found it, had not waited a little, +before he avowed himself either Catholic or Protestant, and implicated +others in errors and follies which might, at least, have been confined +to his own bosom, and there have lain comparatively harmless. In what a +pretty state, for instance, will Messrs. Dr--d and P--l have left +their Newman Street congregation, who are still plunged in their old +superstitions, from which their spiritual pastors and masters have been +set free! In what a state, too, do Mrs. Sand and her brother and sister +philosophers, Templars, Saint Simonians, Fourierites, Lerouxites, or +whatever the sect may be, leave the unfortunate people who have listened +to their doctrines, and who have not the opportunity, or the fiery +versatility of belief, which carries their teachers from one creed to +another, leaving only exploded lies and useless recantations behind +them! I wish the state would make a law that one individual should not +be allowed to preach more than one doctrine in his life, or, at any +rate, should be soundly corrected for every change of creed. How many +charlatans would have been silenced,--how much conceit would have been +kept within bounds,--how many fools, who are dazzled by fine sentences, +and made drunk by declamation, would have remained, quiet and sober, in +that quiet and sober way of faith which their fathers held before them. +However, the reader will be glad to learn that, after all his doubts +and sorrows, Spiridion does discover the truth (THE truth, what a wise +Spiridion!) and some discretion with it; for, having found among his +monks, who are dissolute, superstitious--and all hate him--one only +being, Fulgentius, who is loving, candid, and pious, he says to him, "If +you were like myself, if the first want of your nature were, like +mine, to know, I would, without hesitation, lay bare to you my entire +thoughts. I would make you drink the cup of truth, which I myself have +filled with so many tears, at the risk of intoxicating you with the +draught. But it is not so, alas! you are made to love rather than to +know, and your heart is stronger than your intellect. You are attached +to Catholicism,--I believe so, at least,--by bonds of sentiment which +you could not break without pain, and which, if you were to break, the +truth which I could lay bare to you in return would not repay you for +what you had sacrificed. Instead of exalting, it would crush you, very +likely. It is a food too strong for ordinary men, and which, when +it does not revivify, smothers. I will not, then, reveal to you this +doctrine, which is the triumph of my life, and the consolation of +my last days; because it might, perhaps, be for you only a cause of +mourning and despair..... Of all the works which my long studies have +produced, there is one alone which I have not given to the flames; for +it alone is complete. In that you will find me entire, and there LIES +THE TRUTH. And, as the sage has said you must not bury your treasures in +a well, I will not confide mine to the brutal stupidity of these monks. +But as this volume should only pass into hands worthy to touch it, and +be laid open for eyes that are capable of comprehending its mysteries, +I shall exact from the reader one condition, which, at the same time, +shall be a proof: I shall carry it with me to the tomb, in order that +he who one day shall read it, may have courage enough to brave the vain +terrors of the grave, in searching for it amid the dust of my sepulchre. +As soon as I am dead, therefore, place this writing on my breast..... +Ah! when the time comes for reading it, I think my withered heart will +spring up again, as the frozen grass at the return of the sun, and that, +from the midst of its infinite transformations, my spirit will enter +into immediate communication with thine!" + + +Does not the reader long to be at this precious manuscript, which +contains THE TRUTH; and ought he not to be very much obliged to Mrs. +Sand, for being so good as to print it for him? We leave all the story +aside: how Fulgentius had not the spirit to read the manuscript, +but left the secret to Alexis; how Alexis, a stern old philosophical +unbelieving monk as ever was, tried in vain to lift up the gravestone, +but was taken with fever, and obliged to forego the discovery; and how, +finally, Angel, his disciple, a youth amiable and innocent as his name, +was the destined person who brought the long-buried treasure to light. +Trembling and delighted, the pair read this tremendous MANUSCRIPT OF +SPIRIDION. + +Will it be believed, that of all the dull, vague, windy documents that +mortal ever set eyes on, this is the dullest? If this be absolute truth, +a quoi bon search for it, since we have long, long had the jewel in our +possession, or since, at least, it has been held up as such by every +sham philosopher who has had a mind to pass off his wares on the public? +Hear Spiridion:-- + +"How much have I wept, how much have I suffered, how much have I prayed, +how much have I labored, before I understood the cause and the aim of +my passage on this earth! After many incertitudes, after much remorse, +after many scruples, I HAVE COMPREHENDED THAT I WAS A MARTYR!--But why +my martyrdom? said I; what crimne did I commit before I was born, thus +to be condemned to labor and groaning, from the hour when I first saw +the day up to that when I am about to enter into the night of the tomb? + +"At last, by dint of imploring God--by dint of inquiry into the history +of man, a ray of the truth has descended on my brow, and the shadows of +the past have melted from before my eyes. I have lifted a corner of the +curtain: I have seen enough to know that my life, like that of the rest +of the human race, has been a series of necessary errors, yet, to speak +more correctly, of incomplete truths, conducting, more or less slowly +and directly, to absolute truth and ideal perfection. But when will they +rise on the face of the earth--when will they issue from the bosom of +the Divinity--those generations who shall salute the august countenance +of Truth, and proclaim the reign of the ideal on earth? I see well how +humanity marches, but I neither can see its cradle nor its apotheosis. +Man seems to me a transitory race, between the beast and the angel; but +I know not how many centuries have been required, that he might pass +from the state of brute to the state of man, and I cannot tell how many +ages are necessary that he may pass from the state of man to the state +of angel! + +"Yet I hope, and I feel within me, at the approach of death, that which +warns me that great destinies await humanity. In this life all is over +for me. Much have I striven, to advance but little: I have labored +without ceasing, and have done almost nothing. Yet, after pains +immeasurable, I die content, for I know that I have done all I could, +and am sure that the little I have done will not be lost. + +"What, then, have I done? this wilt thou demand of me, man of a future +age, who will seek for truth in the testaments of the past. Thou who +wilt be no more Catholic--no more Christian, thou wilt ask of the poor +monk, lying in the dust, an account of his life and death. Thou wouldst +know wherefore were his vows, why his austerities, his labors, his +retreat, his prayers? + +"You who turn back to me, in order that I may guide you on your road, +and that you may arrive more quickly at the goal which it has not been +my lot to attain, pause, yet, for a moment, and look upon the past +history of humanity. You will see that its fate has been ever to choose +between the least of two evils, and ever to commit great faults in order +to avoid others still greater. You will see.... on one side, the heathen +mythology, that debased the spirit, in its efforts to deify the flesh; +on the other, the austere Christian principle, that debased the flesh +too much, in order to raise the worship of the spirit. You will see, +afterwards, how the religion of Christ embodies itself in a church, +and raises itself a generous democratic power against the tyranny of +princes. Later still, you will see how that power has attained its end, +and passed beyond it. You will see it, having chained and conquered +princes, league itself with them, in order to oppress the people, and +seize on temporal power. Schism, then, raises up against it the standard +of revolt, and preaches the bold and legitimate principle of liberty +of conscience: but, also, you will see how this liberty of conscience +brings religious anarchy in its train; or, worse still, religious +indifference and disgust. And if your soul, shattered in the tempestuous +changes which you behold humanity undergoing, would strike out for +itself a passage through the rocks, amidst which, like a frail bark, +lies tossing trembling truth, you will be embarrassed to choose between +the new philosophers--who, in preaching tolerance, destroy religious and +social unity--and the last Christians, who, to preserve society, that +is, religion and philosophy, are obliged to brave the principle of +toleration. Man of truth! to whom I address, at once, my instruction and +my justification, at the time when you shall live, the science of truth +no doubt will have advanced a step. Think, then, of all your fathers +have suffered, as, bending beneath the weight of their ignorance and +uncertainty, they have traversed the desert across which, with so much +pain, they have conducted thee! And if the pride of thy young learning +shall make thee contemplate the petty strifes in which our life has been +consumed, pause and tremble, as you think of that which is still unknown +to yourself, and of the judgment that your descendants will pass on you. +Think of this, and learn to respect all those who, seeking their way in +all sincerity, have wandered from the path, frightened by the storm, and +sorely tried by the severe hand of the All-Powerful. Think of this, and +prostrate yourself; for all these, even the most mistaken among them, +are saints and martyrs. + +"Without their conquests and their defeats, thou wert in darkness still. +Yes, their failures, their errors even, have a right to your respect; +for man is weak..... Weep then, for us obscure travellers--unknown +victims, who, by our mortal sufferings and unheard-of labors, have +prepared the way before you. Pity me, who have passionately loved +justice, and perseveringly sought for truth, only opened my eyes to +shut them again for ever, and saw that I had been in vain endeavoring to +support a ruin, to take refuge in a vault of which the foundations were +worn away.".... + +The rest of the book of Spiridion is made up of a history of the +rise, progress, and (what our philosopher is pleased to call) decay +of Christianity--of an assertion, that the "doctrine of Christ is +incomplete;" that "Christ may, nevertheless, take his place in the +Pantheon of divine men!" and of a long, disgusting, absurd, and impious +vision, in which the Saviour, Moses, David, and Elijah are represented, +and in which Christ is made to say--"WE ARE ALL MESSIAHS, when we wish +to bring the reign of truth upon earth; we are all Christs, when we +suffer for it!" + +And this is the ultimatum, the supreme secret, the absolute truth! and +it has been published by Mrs. Sand, for so many napoleons per sheet, in +the Revue des Deux Mondes: and the Deux Mondes are to abide by it for +the future. After having attained it, are we a whit wiser? "Man is +between an angel and a beast: I don't know how long it is since he was a +brute--I can't say how long it will be before he is an angel." Think of +people living by their wits, and living by such a wit as this! Think +of the state of mental debauch and disease which must have been passed +through, ere such words could be written, and could be popular! + +When a man leaves our dismal, smoky London atmosphere, and breathes, +instead of coal-smoke and yellow fog, this bright, clear, French air, he +is quite intoxicated by it at first, and feels a glow in his blood, and +a joy in his spirits, which scarcely thrice a year, and then only at a +distance from London, he can attain in England. Is the intoxication, I +wonder, permanent among the natives? and may we not account for the ten +thousand frantic freaks of these people by the peculiar influence of +French air and sun? The philosophers are from night to morning drunk, +the politicians are drunk, the literary men reel and stagger from one +absurdity to another, and how shall we understand their vagaries? Let us +suppose, charitably, that Madame Sand had inhaled a more than ordinary +quantity of this laughing gas when she wrote for us this precious +manuscript of Spiridion. That great destinies are in prospect for the +human race we may fancy, without her ladyship's word for it: but more +liberal than she, and having a little retrospective charity, as well as +that easy prospective benevolence which Mrs. Sand adopts, let us try and +think there is some hope for our fathers (who were nearer brutality than +ourselves, according to the Sandean creed), or else there is a very poor +chance for us, who, great philosophers as we are, are yet, alas! far +removed from that angelic consummation which all must wish for so +devoutly. She cannot say--is it not extraordinary?--how many centuries +have been necessary before man could pass from the brutal state to his +present condition, or how many ages will be required ere we may pass +from the state of man to the state of angels? What the deuce is the use +of chronology or philosophy? We were beasts, and we can't tell when our +tails dropped off: we shall be angels; but when our wings are to begin +to sprout, who knows? In the meantime, O man of genius, follow our +counsel: lead an easy life, don't stick at trifles; never mind about +DUTY, it is only made for slaves; if the world reproach you, reproach +the world in return, you have a good loud tongue in your head: if your +straight-laced morals injure your mental respiration, fling off the +old-fashioned stays, and leave your free limbs to rise and fall as +Nature pleases; and when you have grown pretty sick of your liberty, and +yet unfit to return to restraint, curse the world, and scorn it, and be +miserable, like my Lord Byron and other philosophers of his kidney; or +else mount a step higher, and, with conceit still more monstrous, and +mental vision still more wretchedly debauched and weak, begin suddenly +to find yourself afflicted with a maudlin compassion for the human race, +and a desire to set them right after your own fashion. There is the +quarrelsome stage of drunkenness, when a man can as yet walk and +speak, when he can call names, and fling plates and wine-glasses at his +neighbor's head with a pretty good aim; after this comes the pathetic +stage, when the patient becomes wondrous philanthropic, and weeps +wildly, as he lies in the gutter, and fancies he is at home in +bed--where he ought to be; but this is an allegory. + +I don't wish to carry this any farther, or to say a word in defence +of the doctrine which Mrs. Dudevant has found "incomplete";--here, at +least, is not the place for discussing its merits, any more than Mrs. +Sand's book was the place for exposing, forsooth, its errors: our +business is only with the day and the new novels, and the clever or +silly people who write them. Oh! if they but knew their places, and +would keep to them, and drop their absurd philosophical jargon! Not all +the big words in the world can make Mrs. Sand talk like a philosopher: +when will she go back to her old trade, of which she was the very ablest +practitioner in France? + +I should have been glad to give some extracts from the dramatic and +descriptive parts of the novel, that cannot, in point of style and +beauty, be praised too highly. One must suffice,--it is the descent of +Alexis to seek that unlucky manuscript, Spiridion. + +"It seemed to me," he begins, "that the descent was eternal; and that I +was burying myself in the depths of Erebus: at last, I reached a level +place,--and I heard a mournful voice deliver these words, as it were, +to the secret centre of the earth--'He will mount that ascent no +more!'--Immediately I heard arise towards me, from the depth of +invisible abysses, a myriad of formidable voices united in a strange +chant--'Let us destroy him! Let him be destroyed! What does he here +among the dead? Let him be delivered back to torture! Let him be given +again to life!' + +"Then a feeble light began to pierce the darkness, and I perceived +that I stood on the lowest step of a staircase, vast as the foot of a +mountain. Behind me were thousands of steps of lurid iron; before me, +nothing but a void--an abyss, and ether; the blue gloom of midnight +beneath my feet, as above my head. I became delirious, and quitting +that staircase, which methought it was impossible for me to reascend, I +sprung forth into the void with an execration. But, immediately, when +I had uttered the curse, the void began to be filled with forms and +colors, and I presently perceived that I was in a vast gallery, along +which I advanced, trembling. There was still darkness round me; but +the hollows of the vaults gleamed with a red light, and showed me the +strange and hideous forms of their building..... I did not distinguish +the nearest objects; but those towards which I advanced assumed an +appearance more and more ominous, and my terror increased with every +step I took. The enormous pillars which supported the vault, and the +tracery thereof itself, were figures of men, of supernatural stature, +delivered to tortures without a name. Some hung by their feet, and, +locked in the coils of monstrous serpents, clenched their teeth in the +marble of the pavement; others, fastened by their waists, were dragged +upwards, these by their feet, those by their heads, towards capitals, +where other figures stooped towards them, eager to torment them. Other +pillars, again, represented a struggling mass of figures devouring one +another; each of which only offered a trunk severed to the knees or to +the shoulders, the fierce heads whereof retained life enough to seize +and devour that which was near them. There were some who, half hanging +down, agonized themselves by attempting, with their upper limbs, to flay +the lower moiety of their bodies, which drooped from the columns, or +were attached to the pedestals; and others, who, in their fight with +each other, were dragged along by morsels of flesh,--grasping which, +they clung to each other with a countenance of unspeakable hate and +agony. Along, or rather in place of, the frieze, there were on either +side a range of unclean beings, wearing the human form, but of a +loathsome ugliness, busied in tearing human corpses to pieces--in +feasting upon their limbs and entrails. From the vault, instead of +bosses and pendants, hung the crushed and wounded forms of children; as +if to escape these eaters of man's flesh, they would throw themselves +downwards, and be dashed to pieces on the pavement..... The silence and +motionlessness of the whole added to its awfulness. I became so faint +with terror, that I stopped, and would fain have returned. But at that +moment I heard, from the depths of the gloom through which I had passed, +confused noises, like those of a multitude on its march. And the sounds +soon became more distinct, and the clamor fiercer, and the steps came +hurrying on tumultuously--at every new burst nearer, more violent, more +threatening. I thought that I was pursued by this disorderly crowd; and +I strove to advance, hurrying into the midst of those dismal sculptures. +Then it seemed as if those figures began to heave,--and to sweat +blood,--and their beady eyes to move in their sockets. At once I beheld +that they were all looking upon me, that they were all leaning towards +me,--some with frightful derision, others with furious aversion. Every +arm was raised against me, and they made as though they would crush me +with the quivering limbs they had torn one from the other.".... + +It is, indeed, a pity that the poor fellow gave himself the trouble to +go down into damp, unwholesome graves, for the purpose of fetching up +a few trumpery sheets of manuscript; and if the public has been rather +tired with their contents, and is disposed to ask why Mrs. Sand's +religious or irreligious notions are to be brought forward to people who +are quite satisfied with their own, we can only say that this lady is +the representative of a vast class of her countrymen, whom the wits and +philosophers of the eighteenth century have brought to this condition. +The leaves of the Diderot and Rousseau tree have produced this goodly +fruit: here it is, ripe, bursting, and ready to fall;--and how to fall? +Heaven send that it may drop easily, for all can see that the time is +come. + + + + +THE CASE OF PEYTEL: + +IN A LETTER TO EDWARD BRIEFLESS, ESQUIRE, OF PUMP COURT, TEMPLE. + + +PARIS, November, 1839. + +MY DEAR BRIEFLESS,--Two months since, when the act of accusation first +appeared, containing the sum of the charges against Sebastian Peytel, +all Paris was in a fervor on the subject. The man's trial speedily +followed, and kept for three days the public interest wound up to a +painful point. He was found guilty of double murder at the beginning +of September; and, since that time, what with Maroto's disaffection +and Turkish news, we have had leisure to forget Monsieur Peytel, and to +occupy ourselves with [Greek text omitted]. Perhaps Monsieur de Balzac +helped to smother what little sparks of interest might still have +remained for the murderous notary. Balzac put forward a letter in his +favor, so very long, so very dull, so very pompous, promising so much, +and performing so little, that the Parisian public gave up Peytel and +his case altogether; nor was it until to-day that some small feeling +was raised concerning him, when the newspapers brought the account how +Peytel's head had been cut off at Bourg. + +He had gone through the usual miserable ceremonies and delays which +attend what is called, in this country, the march of justice. He had +made his appeal to the Court of Cassation, which had taken time to +consider the verdict of the Provincial Court, and had confirmed it. He +had made his appeal for mercy; his poor sister coming up all the way +from Bourg (a sad journey, poor thing!) to have an interview with the +King, who had refused to see her. Last Monday morning, at nine o'clock, +an hour before Peytel's breakfast, the Greffier of Assize Court, in +company with the Cure of Bourg, waited on him, and informed him that he +had only three hours to live. At twelve o'clock, Peytel's head was off +his body: an executioner from Lyons had come over the night before, to +assist the professional throat-cutter of Bourg. + +I am not going to entertain you with any sentimental lamentations for +this scoundrel's fate, or to declare my belief in his innocence, as +Monsieur de Balzac has done. As far as moral conviction can go, the +man's guilt is pretty clearly brought home to him. But any man who +has read the "Causes Celebres," knows that men have been convicted +and executed upon evidence ten times more powerful than that which was +brought against Peytel. His own account of his horrible case may be +true; there is nothing adduced in the evidence which is strong enough to +overthrow it. It is a serious privilege, God knows, that society +takes upon itself, at any time, to deprive one of God's creatures of +existence. But when the slightest doubt remains, what a tremendous risk +does it incur! In England, thank heaven, the law is more wise and more +merciful: an English jury would never have taken a man's blood upon such +testimony: an English judge and Crown advocate would never have acted +as these Frenchmen have done; the latter inflaming the public mind by +exaggerated appeals to their passions: the former seeking, in every way, +to draw confessions from the prisoner, to perplex and confound him, to +do away, by fierce cross-questioning and bitter remarks from the bench, +with any effect that his testimony might have on the jury. I don't mean +to say that judges and lawyers have been more violent and inquisitorial +against the unhappy Peytel than against any one else; it is the fashion +of the country: a man is guilty until he proves himself to be innocent; +and to batter down his defence, if he have any, there are the lawyers, +with all their horrible ingenuity, and their captivating passionate +eloquence. It is hard thus to set the skilful and tried champions of the +law against men unused to this kind of combat; nay, give a man all the +legal aid that he can purchase or procure, still, by this plan, you take +him at a cruel, unmanly disadvantage; he has to fight against the law, +clogged with the dreadful weight of his presupposed guilt. Thank God +that, in England, things are not managed so. + +However, I am not about to entertain you with ignorant disquisitions +about the law. Peytel's case may, nevertheless, interest you; for the +tale is a very stirring and mysterious one; and you may see how easy +a thing it is for a man's life to be talked away in France, if ever he +should happen to fall under the suspicion of a crime. The French "Acte +d'accusation" begins in the following manner:-- + +"Of all the events which, in these latter times, have afflicted the +department of the Ain, there is none which has caused a more profound +and lively sensation than the tragical death of the lady, Felicite +Alcazar, wife of Sebastian Benedict Peytel, notary, at Belley. At the +end of October, 1838, Madame Peytel quitted that town, with her husband, +and their servant Louis Rey, in order to pass a few days at Macon: +at midnight, the inhabitants of Belley were suddenly awakened by the +arrival of Monsieur Peytel, by his cries, and by the signs which he +exhibited of the most lively agitation: he implored the succors of all +the physicians in the town; knocked violently at their doors; rung at +the bells of their houses with a sort of frenzy, and announced that his +wife, stretched out, and dying, in his carriage, had just been shot, on +the Lyons road, by his domestic, whose life Peytel himself had taken. + +"At this recital a number of persons assembled, and what a spectacle was +presented to their eyes. + +"A young woman lay at the bottom of a carriage, deprived of life; her +whole body was wet, and seemed as if it had just been plunged into +the water. She appeared to be severely wounded in the face; and her +garments, which were raised up, in spite of the cold and rainy weather, +left the upper part of her knees almost entirely exposed. At the sight +of this half-naked and inanimate body, all the spectators were affected. +People said that the first duty to pay to a dying woman was, to preserve +her from the cold, to cover her. A physician examined the body; he +declared that all remedies were useless; that Madame Peytel was dead and +cold. + +"The entreaties of Peytel were redoubled; he demanded fresh succors, +and, giving no heed to the fatal assurance which had just been given +him, required that all the physicians in the place should be sent for. +A scene so strange and so melancholy; the incoherent account given by +Peytel of the murder of his wife; his extraordinary movements; and the +avowal which he continued to make, that he had despatched the murderer, +Rey, with strokes of his hammer, excited the attention of Lieutenant +Wolf, commandant of gendarmes: that officer gave orders for the +immediate arrest of Peytel; but the latter threw himself into the +arms of a friend, who interceded for him, and begged the police not +immediately to seize upon his person. + +"The corpse of Madame Peytel was transported to her apartment; the +bleeding body of the domestic was likewise brought from the road, where +it lay; and Peytel, asked to explain the circumstance, did so.".... + +Now, as there is little reason to tell the reader, when an English +counsel has to prosecute a prisoner on the part of the Crown for a +capital offence, he produces the articles of his accusation in the most +moderate terms, and especially warns the jury to give the accused person +the benefit of every possible doubt that the evidence may give, or may +leave. See how these things are managed in France, and how differently +the French counsel for the Crown sets about his work. + +He first prepares his act of accusation, the opening of which we +have just read; it is published six days before the trial, so that an +unimpassioned, unprejudiced jury has ample time to study it, and to +form its opinions accordingly, and to go into court with a happy, just +prepossession against the prisoner. + +Read the first part of the Peytel act of accusation; it is as turgid and +declamatory as a bad romance; and as inflated as a newspaper document, +by an unlimited penny-a-liner:--"The department of the Ain is in a +dreadful state of excitement; the inhabitants of Belley come trooping +from their beds,--and what a sight do they behold;--a young woman at +the bottom of a carriage, toute ruisselante, just out of a river; her +garments, in spite of the cold and rain, raised, so as to leave the +upper part of her knees entirely exposed, at which all the beholders +were affected, and cried, that the FIRST DUTY was to cover her from +the cold." This settles the case at once; the first duty of a man is +to cover the legs of the sufferer; the second to call for help. The +eloquent "Substitut du Procureur du Roi" has prejudged the case, in the +course of a few sentences. He is putting his readers, among whom his +future jury is to be found, into a proper state of mind; he works on +them with pathetic description, just as a romance-writer would: the +rain pours in torrents; it is a dreary evening in November; the young +creature's situation is neatly described; the distrust which entered +into the breast of the keen old officer of gendarmes strongly painted, +the suspicions which might, or might not, have been entertained by +the inhabitants, eloquently argued. How did the advocate know that the +people had such? did all the bystanders say aloud, "I suspect that this +is a case of murder by Monsieur Peytel, and that his story about +the domestic is all deception?" or did they go off to the mayor, and +register their suspicion? or was the advocate there to hear them? Not +he; but he paints you the whole scene, as though it had existed, and +gives full accounts of suspicions, as if they had been facts, positive, +patent, staring, that everybody could see and swear to. + +Having thus primed his audience, and prepared them for the testimony of +the accused party, "Now," says he, with a fine show of justice, "let +us hear Monsieur Peytel;" and that worthy's narrative is given as +follows:-- + +"He said that he had left Macon on the 31st October, at eleven o'clock +in the morning, in order to return to Belley, with his wife and servant. +The latter drove, or led, an open car; he himself was driving his wife +in a four-wheeled carriage, drawn by one horse: they reached Bourg at +five o'clock in the evening; left it at seven, to sleep at Pont d'Ain, +where they did not arrive before midnight. During the journey, Peytel +thought he remarked that Rey had slackened his horse's pace. When +they alighted at the inn, Peytel bade him deposit in his chamber 7,500 +francs, which he carried with him; but the domestic refused to do so, +saying that the inn gates were secure, and there was no danger. Peytel +was, therefore, obliged to carry his money up stairs himself. The next +day, the 1st November, they set out on their journey again, at nine +o'clock in the morning; Louis did not come, according to custom, to take +his master's orders. They arrived at Tenay about three, stopped there a +couple of hours to dine, and it was eight o'clock when they reached the +bourg of Rossillon, where they waited half an hour to bait the horses. + +"As they left Rossillon, the weather became bad, and the rain began to +fall: Peytel told his domestic to get a covering for the articles in +the open chariot; but Rey refused to do so, adding, in an ironical tone, +that the weather was fine. For some days past, Peytel had remarked that +his servant was gloomy, and scarcely spoke at all. + +"After they had gone about 500 paces beyond the bridge of Andert, that +crosses the river Furans, and ascended to the least steep part of the +hill of Darde, Peytel cried out to his servant, who was seated in the +car, to come down from it, and finish the ascent on foot. + +"At this moment a violent wind was blowing from the south, and the rain +was falling heavily: Peytel was seated back in the right corner of the +carriage, and his wife, who was close to him, was asleep, with her head +on his left shoulder. All of a sudden he heard the report of a fire-arm +(he had seen the light of it at some paces' distance), and Madame +Peytel cried out, 'My poor husband, take your pistols;' the horse was +frightened, and began to trot. Peytel immediately drew the pistol, and +fired, from the interior of the carriage, upon an individual whom he saw +running by the side of the road. + +"Not knowing, as yet, that his wife had been hit, he jumped out on one +side of the carriage, while Madame Peytel descended from the other; and +he fired a second pistol at his domestic, Louis Rey, whom he had just +recognized. Redoubling his pace, he came up with Rey, and struck him, +from behind, a blow with the hammer. Rey turned at this, and raised +up his arm to strike his master with the pistol which he had just +discharged at him; but Peytel, more quick than he, gave the domestic a +blow with the hammer, which felled him to the ground (he fell his +face forwards), and then Peytel, bestriding the body, despatched him, +although the brigand asked for mercy. + +"He now began to think of his wife and ran back, calling out her name +repeatedly, and seeking for her, in vain, on both sides of the road. +Arrived at the bridge of Andert, he recognized his wife, stretched in +a field, covered with water, which bordered the Furans. This horrible +discovery had so much the more astonished him, because he had no idea, +until now, that his wife had been wounded: he endeavored to draw her +from the water; and it was only after considerable exertions that he was +enabled to do so, and to place her, with her face towards the ground, on +the side of the road. Supposing that, here, she would be sheltered from +any farther danger, and believing, as yet, that she was only wounded, he +determined to ask for help at a lone house, situated on the road towards +Rossillon; and at this instant he perceived, without at all being able +to explain how, that his horse had followed him back to the spot, having +turned back of its own accord, from the road to Belley. + +"The house at which he knocked was inhabited by two men, of the name +of Thannet, father and son, who opened the door to him, and whom +he entreated to come to his aid, saying that his wife had just been +assassinated by his servant. The elder Thannet approached to, and +examined the body, and told Peytel that it was quite dead; he and his +son took up the corpse, and placed it in the bottom of the carriage, +which they all mounted themselves, and pursued their route to Belley. +In order to do so, they had to pass by Rey's body, on the road, which +Peytel wished to crush under the wheels of his carriage. It was to rob +him of 7,500 francs, said Peytel, that the attack had been made." + +Our friend, the Procureur's Substitut, has dropped, here, the eloquent +and pathetic style altogether, and only gives the unlucky prisoner's +narrative in the baldest and most unimaginative style. How is a jury to +listen to such a fellow? they ought to condemn him, if but for making +such an uninteresting statement. Why not have helped poor Peytel with +some of those rhetorical graces which have been so plentifully bestowed +in the opening part of the act of accusation? He might have said:-- + +"Monsieur Peytel is an eminent notary at Belley; he is a man +distinguished for his literary and scientific acquirements; he has lived +long in the best society of the capital; he had been but a few months +married to that young and unfortunate lady, whose loss has plunged +her bereaved husband into despair--almost into madness. Some early +differences had marked, it is true, the commencement of their union; but +these, which, as can be proved by evidence, were almost all the unhappy +lady's fault,--had happily ceased, to give place to sentiments far more +delightful and tender. Gentlemen, Madame Peytel bore in her bosom a +sweet pledge of future concord between herself and her husband: in three +brief months she was to become a mother. + +"In the exercise of his honorable profession,--in which, to succeed, +a man must not only have high talents, but undoubted probity,--and, +gentlemen, Monsieur Peytel DID succeed--DID inspire respect and +confidence, as you, his neighbors, well know;--in the exercise, I say, +of his high calling, Monsieur Peytel, towards the end of October last, +had occasion to make a journey in the neighborhood, and visit some of +his many clients. + +"He travelled in his own carriage, his young wife beside him. Does this +look like want of affection, gentlemen? or is it not a mark of love--of +love and paternal care on his part towards the being with whom his lot +in life was linked,--the mother of his coming child,--the young girl, +who had everything to gain from the union with a man of his attainments +of intellect, his kind temper, his great experience, and his high +position? In this manner they travelled, side by side, lovingly +together. Monsieur Peytel was not a lawyer merely, but a man of letters +and varied learning; of the noble and sublime science of geology he was, +especially, an ardent devotee." + +(Suppose, here, a short panegyric upon geology. Allude to the creation +of this mighty world, and then, naturally, to the Creator. Fancy the +conversations which Peytel, a religious man,* might have with his young +wife upon the subject.) + + * He always went to mass; it is in the evidence. + +"Monsieur Peytel had lately taken into his service a man named Louis +Rey. Rey was a foundling, and had passed many years in a regiment--a +school, gentlemen, where much besides bravery, alas! is taught; nay, +where the spirit which familiarizes one with notions of battle and +death, I fear, may familiarize one with ideas, too, of murder. Rey, +a dashing reckless fellow, from the army, had lately entered Peytel's +service, was treated by him with the most singular kindness; accompanied +him (having charge of another vehicle) upon the journey before alluded +to; and KNEW THAT HIS MASTER CARRIED WITH HIM A CONSIDERABLE SUM OF +MONEY; for a man like Rey an enormous sum, 7,500 francs. At midnight +on the 1st of November, as Madame Peytel and her husband were returning +home, an attack was made upon their carriage. Remember, gentlemen, the +hour at which the attack was made; remember the sum of money that was in +the carriage; and remember that the Savoy frontier IS WITHIN A LEAGUE OF +THE SPOT where the desperate deed was done." + +Now, my dear Briefless, ought not Monsieur Procureur, in common justice +to Peytel, after he had so eloquently proclaimed, not the facts, but the +suspicions, which weighed against that worthy, to have given a similar +florid account of the prisoner's case? Instead of this, you will remark, +that it is the advocate's endeavor to make Peytel's statements as +uninteresting in style as possible; and then he demolishes them in the +following way:-- + +"Scarcely was Peytel's statement known, when the common sense of the +public rose against it. Peytel had commenced his story upon the bridge +of Andert, over the cold body of his wife. On the 2nd November he +had developed it in detail, in the presence of the physicians, in the +presence of the assembled neighbors--of the persons who, on the day +previous only, were his friends. Finally, he had completed it in his +interrogatories, his conversations, his writings, and letters to the +magistrates and everywhere these words, repeated so often, were only +received with a painful incredulity. The fact was that, besides the +singular character which Peytel's appearance, attitude, and talk had +worn ever since the event, there was in his narrative an inexplicable +enigma; its contradictions and impossibilities were such, that calm +persons were revolted at it, and that even friendship itself refused to +believe it." + +Thus Mr. Attorney speaks, not for himself alone, but for the whole +French public; whose opinions, of course, he knows. Peytel's statement +is discredited EVERYWHERE; the statement which he had made over the cold +body of his wife--the monster! It is not enough simply to prove that the +man committed the murder, but to make the jury violently angry against +him, and cause them to shudder in the jury-box, as he exposes the horrid +details of the crime. + +"Justice," goes on Mr. Substitute (who answers for the feelings of +everybody), "DISTURBED BY THE PRE-OCCUPATIONS OF PUBLIC OPINION, +commenced, without delay, the most active researches. The bodies of the +victims were submitted to the investigations of men of art; the wounds +and projectiles were examined; the place where the event took place +explored with care. The morality of the author of this frightful +scene became the object of rigorous examination; the exigeances of the +prisoner, the forms affected by him, his calculating silence, and his +answers, coldly insulting, were feeble obstacles; and justice at length +arrived, by its prudence, and by the discoveries it made, to the most +cruel point of certainty." + +You see that a man's demeanor is here made a crime against him; and that +Mr. Substitute wishes to consider him guilty, because he has actually +the audacity to hold his tongue. Now follows a touching description of +the domestic, Louis Rey:-- + + +"Louis Rey, a child of the Hospital at Lyons, was confided, at a very +early age, to some honest country people, with whom he stayed until he +entered the army. At their house, and during this long period of time, +his conduct, his intelligence, and the sweetness of his manners were +such, that the family of his guardians became to him as an adopted +family; and his departure caused them the most sincere affliction. When +Louis quitted the army, he returned to his benefactors, and was received +as a son. They found him just as they had ever known him" (I acknowledge +that this pathos beats my humble defence of Peytel entirely), "except +that he had learned to read and write; and the certificates of his +commanders proved him to be a good and gallant soldier. + +"The necessity of creating some resources for himself, obliged him to +quit his friends, and to enter the service of Monsieur de Montrichard, +a lieutenant of gendarmerie, from whom he received fresh testimonials of +regard. Louis, it is true, might have a fondness for wine and a passion +for women; but he had been a soldier, and these faults were, +according to the witnesses, amply compensated for by his activity, +his intelligence, and the agreeable manner in which he performed his +service. In the month of July, 1839, Rey quitted, voluntarily, the +service of M. de Montrichard; and Peytel, about this period, meeting him +at Lyons, did not hesitate to attach him to his service. Whatever may +be the prisoner's present language, it is certain that up to the day of +Louis's death, he served Peytel with diligence and fidelity. + +"More than once his master and mistress spoke well of him. EVERYBODY who +has worked, or been at the house of Madame Peytel, has spoken in praise +of his character; and, indeed, it may be said, that these testimonials +were general. + +"On the very night of the 1st of November, and immediately after the +catastrophe, we remark how Peytel begins to make insinuations against +his servant; and how artfully, in order to render them more sure, he +disseminates them through the different parts of his narrative. But, +in the course of the proceeding, these charges have met with a most +complete denial. Thus we find the disobedient servant who, at Pont +d'Ain, refused to carry the money-chest to his master's room, under the +pretext that the gates of the inn were closed securely, occupied with +tending the horses after their long journey: meanwhile Peytel was +standing by, and neither master nor servant exchanged a word, and the +witnesses who beheld them both have borne testimony to the zeal and care +of the domestic. + +"In like manner, we find that the servant, who was so remiss in the +morning as to neglect to go to his master for orders, was ready for +departure before seven o'clock, and had eagerly informed himself whether +Monsieur and Madame Peytel were awake; learning from the maid of the +inn, that they had ordered nothing for their breakfast. This man, who +refused to carry with him a covering for the car, was, on the contrary, +ready to take off his own cloak, and with it shelter articles of small +value; this man, who had been for many days so silent and gloomy, gave, +on the contrary, many proofs of his gayety--almost of his indiscretion, +speaking, at all the inns, in terms of praise of his master and +mistress. The waiter at the inn at Dauphin, says he was a tall young +fellow, mild and good-natured; 'we talked for some time about horses, +and such things; he seemed to be perfectly natural, and not pre-occupied +at all.' At Pont d'Ain, he talked of his being a foundling; of the place +where he had been brought up, and where he had served; and finally, at +Rossillon, an hour before his death, he conversed familiarly with the +master of the port, and spoke on indifferent subjects. + +"All Peytel's insinuations against his servant had no other end than +to show, in every point of Rey's conduct, the behavior of a man who was +premeditating attack. Of what, in fact, does he accuse him? Of wishing +to rob him of 7,500 francs, and of having had recourse to assassination, +in order to effect the robbery. But, for a premeditated crime, consider +what singular improvidence the person showed who had determined on +committing it; what folly and what weakness there is in the execution of +it. + +"How many insurmountable obstacles are there in the way of committing +and profiting by crime! On leaving Belley, Louis Rey, according to +Peytel's statement, knowing that his master would return with money, +provided himself with a holster pistol, which Madame Peytel had once +before perceived among his effects. In Peytel's cabinet there were some +balls; four of these were found in Rey's trunk, on the 6th of November. +And, in order to commit the crime, this domestic had brought away with +him a pistol, and no ammunition; for Peytel has informed us that Rey, +an hour before his departure from Macon, purchased six balls at a +gunsmith's. To gain his point, the assassin must immolate his victims; +for this, he has only one pistol, knowing, perfectly well, that Peytel, +in all his travels, had two on his person; knowing that, at a late hour +of the night, his shot might fail of effect; and that, in this case, he +would be left to the mercy of his opponent. + +"The execution of the crime is, according to Peytel's account, still +more singular. Louis does not get off the carriage, until Peytel tells +him to descend. He does not think of taking his master's life until he +is sure that the latter has his eyes open. It is dark, and the pair are +covered in one cloak; and Rey only fires at them at six paces' distance: +he fires at hazard, without disquieting himself as to the choice of his +victim; and the soldier, who was bold enough to undertake this double +murder, has not force nor courage to consummate it. He flies, carrying +in his hand a useless whip, with a heavy mantle on his shoulders, in +spite of the detonation of two pistols at his ears, and the rapid steps +of an angry master in pursuit, which ought to have set him upon some +better means of escape. And we find this man, full of youth and vigor, +lying with his face to the ground, in the midst of a public road, +falling without a struggle, or resistance, under the blows of a hammer! + +"And suppose the murderer had succeeded in his criminal projects, what +fruit could he have drawn from them?--Leaving, on the road, the two +bleeding bodies; obliged to lead two carriages at a time, for fear of +discovery; not able to return himself, after all the pains he had taken +to speak, at every place at which they had stopped, of the money which +his master was carrying with him; too prudent to appear alone at Belley; +arrested at the frontier, by the excise officers, who would present an +impassable barrier to him till morning, what could he do, or hope to +do? The examination of the car has shown that Rey, at the moment of the +crime, had neither linen, nor clothes, nor effects of any kind. There +was found in his pockets, when the body was examined, no passport, nor +certificate; one of his pockets contained a ball, of large calibre, +which he had shown, in play, to a girl, at the inn at Macon, a little +horn-handled knife, a snuff-box, a little packet of gunpowder, and a +purse, containing only a halfpenny and some string. Here is all the +baggage, with which, after the execution of his homicidal plan, Louis +Rey intended to take refuge in a foreign country.* Beside these absurd +contradictions, there is another remarkable fact, which must not be +passed over; it is this:--the pistol found by Rey is of antique form, +and the original owner of it has been found. He is a curiosity-merchant +at Lyons; and, though he cannot affirm that Peytel was the person who +bought this pistol of him, he perfectly recognizes Peytel as having been +a frequent customer at his shop! + + * This sentence is taken from another part of the "Acte + d'accusation." + +"No, we may fearlessly affirm that Louis Rey was not guilty of the crime +which Peytel lays to his charge. If, to those who knew him, his mild and +open disposition, his military career, modest and without a stain, +the touching regrets of his employers, are sufficient proofs of his +innocence,--the calm and candid observer, who considers how the crime +was conceived, was executed, and what consequences would have resulted +from it, will likewise acquit him, and free him of the odious imputation +which Peytel endeavors to cast upon his memory. + +"But justice has removed the veil, with which an impious hand endeavored +to cover itself. Already, on the night of the 1st of November, suspicion +was awakened by the extraordinary agitation of Peytel; by those +excessive attentions towards his wife, which came so late; by that +excessive and noisy grief, and by those calculated bursts of sorrow, +which are such as Nature does not exhibit. The criminal, whom the public +conscience had fixed upon; the man whose frightful combinations have +been laid bare, and whose falsehoods, step by step, have been exposed, +during the proceedings previous to the trial; the murderer, at whose +hands a heart-stricken family, and society at large, demands an account +of the blood of a wife;--that murderer is Peytel." + +When, my dear Briefless, you are a judge (as I make no doubt you +will be, when you have left off the club all night, cigar-smoking of +mornings, and reading novels in bed), will you ever find it in your +heart to order a fellow-sinner's head off upon such evidence as this? +Because a romantic Substitut du Procureur de Roi chooses to compose +and recite a little drama, and draw tears from juries, let us hope that +severe Rhadamanthine judges are not to be melted by such trumpery. +One wants but the description of the characters to render the piece +complete, as thus:-- + + Personages Costumes. + + SEBASTIAN PEYTAL Meurtrier Habillement complet de notaire + perfide: figure pale, barbe + noire, cheveux noirs. + + LOUIS REY Soldat retire, bon, Costume ordinaire; il porte sur + brave, franc, jovial ses epaules une couverture de + aimant le vin, les cheval. + femmes, la gaiete, + ses maitres surtout; + vrai Francais, enfin + + WOLF Lieutenant de gendarmerie. + + FELICITE D'ALCAZAR Femme et victime de Peytel. + + Medecins, Villageois, Filles d'Auberge, Garcons d'Ecurie, &c. &c. + + La scene se passe sur le pont d'Andert, entre Macon et Belley. Il + est minuit. La pluie tombe: les tonnerres grondent. Le ciel est + convert de nuages, et sillonne d'eclairs. + + +All these personages are brought into play in the Procureur's drama; +the villagers come in with their chorus; the old lieutenant of +gendarmes with his suspicions; Rey's frankness and gayety, the romantic +circumstances of his birth, his gallantry and fidelity, are all +introduced, in order to form a contrast with Peytel, and to call down +the jury's indignation against the latter. But are these proofs? or +anything like proofs? And the suspicions, that are to serve instead of +proofs, what are they? + +"My servant, Louis Rey, was very sombre and reserved," says Peytel; "he +refused to call me in the morning, to carry my money-chest to my room, +to cover the open car when it rained." The Prosecutor disproves this by +stating that Rey talked with the inn maids and servants, asked if his +master was up, and stood in the inn-yard, grooming the horses, with his +master by his side, neither speaking to the other. Might he not have +talked to the maids, and yet been sombre when speaking to his master? +Might he not have neglected to call his master, and yet have asked +whether he was awake? Might he not have said that the inn-gates were +safe, out of hearing of the ostler witness? Mr. Substitute's answers to +Peytel's statements are no answer at all. Every word Peytel said might +be true, and yet Louis Rey might not have committed the murder; or every +word might have been false, and yet Louis Rey might have committed the +murder. + +"Then," says Mr. Substitute, "how many obstacles are there to the +commission of the crime? And these are-- + +"1. Rey provided himself with ONE holster pistol, to kill two people, +knowing well that one of them had always a brace of pistols about him. + +"2. He does not think of firing until his master's eyes are open: fires +at six paces, not caring at whom he fires, and then runs away. + +"3. He could not have intended to kill his master, because he had no +passport in his pocket, and no clothes; and because he must have been +detained at the frontier until morning; and because he would have had to +drive two carriages, in order to avoid suspicion. + +"4. And, a most singular circumstance, the very pistol which was found +by his side had been bought at the shop of a man at Lyons, who perfectly +recognized Peytel as one of his customers, though he could not say he +had sold that particular weapon to Peytel." + +Does it follow, from this, that Louis Rey is not the murderer, much +more, that Peytel is? Look at argument No. 1. Rey had no need to kill +two people: he wanted the money, and not the blood. Suppose he had +killed Peytel, would he not have mastered Madame Peytel easily?--a weak +woman, in an excessively delicate situation, incapable of much energy, +at the best of times. + +2. "He does not fire till he knows his master's eyes are open." Why, on +a stormy night, does a man driving a carriage go to sleep? Was Rey to +wait until his master snored? "He fires at six paces, not caring whom he +hits;"--and might not this happen too? The night is not so dark but +that he can see his master, in HIS USUAL PLACE, driving. He fires and +hits--whom? Madame Peytel, who had left her place, AND WAS WRAPPED UP +WITH PEYTEL IN HIS CLOAK. She screams out, "Husband, take your pistols." +Rey knows that his master has a brace, thinks that he has hit the wrong +person, and, as Peytel fires on him, runs away. Peytel follows, hammer +in hand; as he comes up with the fugitive, he deals him a blow on +the back of the head, and Rey falls--his face to the ground. Is there +anything unnatural in this story?--anything so monstrously unnatural, +that is, that it might not be true? + +3. These objections are absurd. Why need a man have change of linen? +If he had taken none for the journey, why should he want any for the +escape? Why need he drive two carriages?--He might have driven both into +the river, and Mrs. Peytel in one. Why is he to go to the douane, and +thrust himself into the very jaws of danger? Are there not a thousand +ways for a man to pass a frontier? Do smugglers, when they have to pass +from one country to another, choose exactly those spots where a police +is placed? + +And, finally, the gunsmith of Lyons, who knows Peytel quite well, cannot +say that he sold the pistol to him; that is, he did NOT sell the pistol +to him; for you have only one man's word, in this case (Peytel's), to +the contrary; and the testimony, as far as it goes, is in his favor. +I say, my lud, and gentlemen of the jury, that these objections of my +learned friend, who is engaged for the Crown, are absurd, frivolous, +monstrous; that to SUSPECT away the life of a man upon such suppositions +as these, is wicked, illegal, and inhuman; and, what is more, that Louis +Rey, if he wanted to commit the crime--if he wanted to possess himself +of a large sum of money, chose the best time and spot for so doing; and, +no doubt, would have succeeded, if Fate had not, in a wonderful manner, +caused Madame Peytel TO TAKE HER HUSBAND'S PLACE, and receive the ball +intended for him in her own head. + +But whether these suspicions are absurd or not, hit or miss, it is +the advocate's duty, as it appears, to urge them. He wants to make as +unfavorable an impression as possible with regard to Peytel's character; +he, therefore, must, for contrast's sake, give all sorts of praise to +his victim, and awaken every sympathy in the poor fellow's favor. +Having done this, as far as lies in his power, having exaggerated every +circumstance that can be unfavorable to Peytel, and given his own tale +in the baldest manner possible--having declared that Peytel is the +murderer of his wife and servant, the Crown now proceeds to back this +assertion, by showing what interested motives he had, and by relating, +after its own fashion, the circumstances of his marriage. + +They may be told briefly here. Peytel was of a good family, of Macon, +and entitled, at his mother's death, to a considerable property. He had +been educated as a notary, and had lately purchased a business, in that +line, in Belley, for which he had paid a large sum of money; part of the +sum, 15,000 francs, for which he had given bills, was still due. + +Near Belley, Peytel first met Felicite Alcazar, who was residing with +her brother-in-law, Monsieur de Montrichard; and, knowing that the young +lady's fortune was considerable, he made an offer of marriage to the +brother-in-law, who thought the match advantageous, and communicated on +the subject with Felicite's mother, Madame Alcazar, at Paris. After a +time Peytel went to Paris, to press his suit, and was accepted. There +seems to have been no affectation of love on his side; and some little +repugnance on the part of the lady, who yielded, however, to the wishes +of her parents, and was married. The parties began to quarrel on the +very day of the marriage, and continued their disputes almost to the +close of the unhappy connection. Felicite was half blind, passionate, +sarcastic, clumsy in her person and manners, and ill educated; Peytel, +a man of considerable intellect and pretensions, who had lived for some +time at Paris, where he had mingled with good literary society. The +lady was, in fact, as disagreeable a person as could well be, and the +evidence describes some scenes which took place between her and her +husband, showing how deeply she must have mortified and enraged him. + +A charge very clearly made out against Peytel, is that of dishonesty; he +procured from the notary of whom he bought his place an acquittance in +full, whereas there were 15,000 francs owing, as we have seen. He +also, in the contract of marriage, which was to have resembled, in +all respects, that between Monsieur Broussais and another Demoiselle +Alcazar, caused an alteration to be made in his favor, which gave +him command over his wife's funded property, without furnishing +the guarantees by which the other son-in-law was bound. And, almost +immediately after his marriage, Peytel sold out of the funds a sum +of 50,000 francs, that belonged to his wife, and used it for his own +purposes. + +About two months after his marriage, PEYTEL PRESSED HIS WIFE TO MAKE HER +WILL. He had made his, he said, leaving everything to her, in case of +his death: after some parley, the poor thing consented.* This is a cruel +suspicion against him; and Mr. Substitute has no need to enlarge upon +it. As for the previous fact, the dishonest statement about the 15,000 +francs, there is nothing murderous in that--nothing which a man very +eager to make a good marriage might not do. The same may be said of the +suppression, in Peytel's marriage contract, of the clause to be found +in Broussais's, placing restrictions upon the use of the wife's money. +Mademoiselle d'Alcazar's friends read the contract before they signed +it, and might have refused it, had they so pleased. + + * "Peytel," says the act of accusation, "did not fail to see + the danger which would menace him, if this will (which had + escaped the magistrates in their search of Peytel's papers) + was discovered. He, therefore, instructed his agent to take + possession of it, which he did, and the fact was not + mentioned for several months afterwards. Peytel and his + agent were called upon to explain the circumstance, but + refused, and their silence for a long time interrupted the + 'instruction'" (getting up of the evidence). "All that could + be obtained from them was an avowal, that such a will + existed, constituting Peytel his wife's sole legatee; and a + promise, on their parts, to produce it before the court gave + its sentence." But why keep the will secret? The anxiety + about it was surely absurd and unnecessary: the whole of + Madame Peytel's family knew that such a will was made. She + had consulted her sister concerning it, who said--"If there + is no other way of satisfying him, make the will;" and the + mother, when she heard of it, cried out--"Does he intend to + poison her?" + +After some disputes, which took place between Peytel and his wife (there +were continual quarrels, and continual letters passing between them +from room to room), the latter was induced to write him a couple of +exaggerated letters, swearing "by the ashes of her father" that she +would be an obedient wife to him, and entreating him to counsel and +direct her. These letters were seen by members of the lady's family, +who, in the quarrels between the couple, always took the husband's part. +They were found in Peytel's cabinet, after he had been arrested for the +murder, and after he had had full access to all his papers, of which +he destroyed or left as many as he pleased. The accusation makes it +a matter of suspicion against Peytel, that he should have left these +letters of his wife's in a conspicuous situation. + +"All these circumstances," says the accusation, "throw a frightful light +upon Peytel's plans. The letters and will of Madame Peytel are in the +hands of her husband. Three months pass away, and this poor woman is +brought to her home, in the middle of the night, with two balls in +her head, stretched at the bottom of her carriage, by the side of a +peasant." + +"What other than Sebastian Peytel could have committed this +murder?--whom could it profit?--who but himself had an odious chain +to break, and an inheritance to receive? Why speak of the servant's +projected robbery? The pistols found by the side of Louis's body, the +balls bought by him at Macon, and those discovered at Belley among his +effects, were only the result of a perfidious combination. The pistol, +indeed, which was found on the hill of Darde, on the night of the 1st of +November, could only have belonged to Peytel, and must have been thrown +by him, near the body of his domestic, with the paper which had before +enveloped it. Who had seen this pistol in the hands of Louis? Among +all the gendarmes, work-women, domestics, employed by Peytel and his +brother-in-law, is there one single witness who had seen this weapon in +Louis's possession? It is true that Madame Peytel did, on one occasion, +speak to M. de Montrichard of a pistol; which had nothing to do, +however, with that found near Louis Rey." + +Is this justice, or good reason? Just reverse the argument, and apply it +to Rey. "Who but Rey could have committed this murder?--who but Rey +had a large sum of money to seize upon?--a pistol is found by his side, +balls and powder in his pocket, other balls in his trunks at home. The +pistol found near his body could not, indeed, have belonged to Peytel: +did any man ever see it in his possession? The very gunsmith who sold +it, and who knew Peytel, would he not have known that he had sold him +this pistol? At his own house, Peytel has a collection of weapons of +all kinds; everybody has seen them--a man who makes such collections is +anxious to display them. Did any one ever see this weapon?--Not one. +And Madame Peytel did, in her lifetime, remark a pistol in the valet's +possession. She was short-sighted, and could not particularize what +kind of pistol it was; but she spoke of it to her husband and her +brother-in-law." This is not satisfactory, if you please; but, at least, +it is as satisfactory as the other set of suppositions. It is the very +chain of argument which would have been brought against Louis Rey by +this very same compiler of the act of accusation, had Rey survived, +instead of Peytel, and had he, as most undoubtedly would have been the +case, been tried for the murder. + +This argument was shortly put by Peytel's counsel:--"if Peytel had been +killed by Rey in the struggle, would you not have found Rey guilty of +the murder of his master and mistress?" It is such a dreadful dilemma, +that I wonder how judges and lawyers could have dared to persecute +Peytel in the manner which they did. + +After the act of accusation, which lays down all the suppositions +against Peytel as facts, which will not admit the truth of one of the +prisoner's allegations in his own defence, comes the trial. The judge is +quite as impartial as the preparer of the indictment, as will be seen by +the following specimens of his interrogatories:-- + +Judge. "The act of accusation finds in your statement contradictions, +improbabilities, impossibilities. Thus your domestic, who had determined +to assassinate you, in order to rob you, and who MUST HAVE CALCULATED +UPON THE CONSEQUENCE OF A FAILURE, had neither passport nor money upon +him. This is very unlikely; because he could not have gone far with only +a single halfpenny, which was all he had." + +Prisoner. "My servant was known, and often passed the frontier without a +passport." + +Judge. "YOUR DOMESTIC HAD TO ASSASSINATE TWO PERSONS, and had no weapon +but a single pistol. He had no dagger; and the only thing found on him +was a knife." + +Prisoner. "In the car there were several turner's implements, which he +might have used." + +Judge. "But he had not those arms upon him, because you pursued him +immediately. He had, according to you, only this old pistol." + +Prisoner. "I have nothing to say." + +Judge. "Your domestic, instead of flying into woods, which skirt the +road, ran straight forward on the road itself: THIS, AGAIN, IS VERY +UNLIKELY." + +Prisoner. "This is a conjecture I could answer by another conjecture; I +can only reason on the facts." + +Judge. "How far did you pursue him?" + +Prisoner. "I don't know exactly." + +Judge. "You said 'two hundred paces.'" + +No answer from the prisoner. + +Judge. "Your domestic was young, active, robust, and tall. He was ahead +of you. You were in a carriage, from which you had to descend: you had +to take your pistols from a cushion, and THEN your hammer;--how are we +to believe that you could have caught him, if he ran? It is IMPOSSIBLE." + +Prisoner. "I can't explain it: I think that Rey had some defect in one +leg. I, for my part, run tolerably fast." + +Judge. "At what distance from him did you fire your first shot?" + +Prisoner. "I can't tell." + +Judge. "Perhaps he was not running when you fired." + +Prisoner. "I saw him running." + +Judge. "In what position was your wife?" + +Prisoner. "She was leaning on my left arm, and the man was on the right +side of the carriage." + +Judge. "The shot must have been fired a bout portant, because it burned +the eyebrows and lashes entirely. The assassin must have passed his +pistol across your breast." + +Prisoner. "The shot was not fired so close; I am convinced of it: +professional gentlemen will prove it." + +Judge. "That is what you pretend, because you understand perfectly +the consequences of admitting the fact. Your wife was hit with two +balls--one striking downwards, to the right, by the nose, the other +going horizontally through the cheek, to the left." + +Prisoner. "The contrary will be shown by the witnesses called for the +purpose." + +Judge. "IT IS A VERY UNLUCKY COMBINATION FOR YOU that these balls, which +went, you say, from the same pistol, should have taken two different +directions." + +Prisoner. "I can't dispute about the various combinations of +fire-arms--professional persons will be heard." + +Judge. "According to your statement, your wife said to you, 'My poor +husband, take your pistols.'" + +Prisoner. "She did." + +Judge. "In a manner quite distinct." + +Prisoner. "Yes." + +Judge. "So distinct that you did not fancy she was hit?" + +Prisoner. "Yes; that is the fact." + +Judge. "HERE, AGAIN, IS AN IMPOSSIBILITY; and nothing is more precise +than the declaration of the medical men. They affirm that your wife +could not have spoken--their report is unanimous." + +Prisoner. "I can only oppose to it quite contrary opinions from +professional men, also: you must hear them." + +Judge. "What did your wife do next?" + + . . . . . . + +Judge. "You deny the statements of the witnesses:" (they related to +Peytel's demeanor and behavior, which the judge wishes to show were +very unusual;--and what if they were?) "Here, however, are some mute +witnesses, whose testimony, you will not perhaps refuse. Near Louis +Rey's body was found a horse-cloth, a pistol, and a whip..... Your +domestic must have had this cloth upon him when he went to assassinate +you: it was wet and heavy. An assassin disencumbers himself of anything +that is likely to impede him, especially when he is going to struggle +with a man as young as himself." + +Prisoner. "My servant had, I believe, this covering on his body; it +might be useful to him to keep the priming of his pistol dry." + +The president caused the cloth to be opened, and showed that there was +no hook, or tie, by which it could be held together; and that Rey must +have held it with one hand, and, in the other, his whip, and the pistol +with which he intended to commit the crime; which was impossible. + +Prisoner. "These are only conjectures." + +And what conjectures, my God! upon which to take away the life of a man. +Jeffreys, or Fouquier Tinville, could scarcely have dared to make such. +Such prejudice, such bitter persecution, such priming of the jury, such +monstrous assumptions and unreason--fancy them coming from an impartial +judge! The man is worse than the public accuser. + +"Rey," says the Judge, "could not have committed the murder, BECAUSE HE +HAD NO MONEY IN HIS POCKET, TO FLY, IN CASE OF FAILURE." And what is the +precise sum that his lordship thinks necessary for a gentleman to have, +before he makes such an attempt? Are the men who murder for money, +usually in possession of a certain independence before they begin? +How much money was Rey, a servant, who loved wine and women, had been +stopping at a score of inns on the road, and had, probably, an annual +income of 400 francs,--how much money was Rey likely to have? + +"Your servant had to assassinate two persons." This I have mentioned +before. Why had he to assassinate two persons,* when one was enough? +If he had killed Peytel, could he not have seized and gagged his wife +immediately? + + * M. Balzac's theory of the case is, that Rey had intrigued + with Madame Peytel; having known her previous to her + marriage, when she was staying in the house of her brother- + in-law, Monsieur de Montrichard, where Rey had been a + servant. + +"Your domestic ran straight forward, instead of taking to the woods, by +the side of the rood: this is very unlikely." How does his worship know? +Can any judge, however enlightened, tell the exact road that a man will +take, who has just missed a coup of murder, and is pursued by a man who +is firing pistols at him? And has a judge a right to instruct a jury in +this way, as to what they shall, or shall not, believe? + +"You have to run after an active man, who has the start of you: to jump +out of a carriage; to take your pistols; and THEN, your hammer. THIS IS +IMPOSSIBLE." By heavens! does it not make a man's blood boil, to read +such blundering, blood-seeking sophistry? This man, when it suits him, +shows that Rey would be slow in his motions; and when it suits him, +declares that Rey ought to be quick; declares ex cathedra, what pace Rey +should go, and what direction he should take; shows, in a breath, that +he must have run faster than Peytel; and then, that he could not run +fast, because the cloak clogged him; settles how he is to be dressed +when he commits a murder, and what money he is to have in his pocket; +gives these impossible suppositions to the jury, and tells them that the +previous statements are impossible; and, finally, informs them of the +precise manner in which Rey must have stood holding his horse-cloth in +one hand, his whip and pistol in the other, when he made the supposed +attempt at murder. Now, what is the size of a horse-cloth? Is it as big +as a pocket-handkerchief? Is there no possibility that it might hang +over one shoulder; that the whip should be held under that very arm? +Did you never see a carter so carry it, his hands in his pockets all the +while? Is it monstrous, abhorrent to nature, that a man should fire a +pistol from under a cloak on a rainy day?--that he should, after firing +the shot, be frightened, and run; run straight before him, with the +cloak on his shoulders, and the weapon in his hand? Peytel's story is +possible, and very possible; it is almost probable. Allow that Rey +had the cloth on, and you allow that he must have been clogged in his +motions; that Peytel may have come up with him--felled him with a blow +of the hammer; the doctors say that he would have so fallen by one +blow--he would have fallen on his face, as he was found: the paper +might have been thrust into his breast, and tumbled out as he fell. +Circumstances far more impossible have occurred ere this; and men have +been hanged for them, who were as innocent of the crime laid to their +charge as the judge on the bench, who convicted them. + +In like manner, Peytel may not have committed the crime charged to +him; and Mr. Judge, with his arguments as to possibilities and +impossibilities,--Mr. Public Prosecutor, with his romantic narrative and +inflammatory harangues to the jury,--may have used all these powers to +bring to death an innocent man. From the animus with which the case had +been conducted from beginning to end, it was easy to see the result. +Here it is, in the words of the provincial paper:-- + + +BOURG, 28 October, 1839. + +"The condemned Peytel has just undergone his punishment, which took +place four days before the anniversary of his crime. The terrible drama +of the bridge of Andert, which cost the life of two persons, has just +terminated on the scaffold. Mid-day had just sounded on the clock of the +Palais: the same clock tolled midnight when, on the 30th of August, his +sentence was pronounced. + +"Since the rejection of his appeal in Cassation, on which his principal +hopes were founded, Peytel spoke little of his petition to the King. +The notion of transportation was that which he seemed to cherish most. +However, he made several inquiries from the gaoler of the prison, when +he saw him at meal-time, with regard to the place of execution, the +usual hour, and other details on the subject. From that period, the +words 'Champ de Foire' (the fair-field, where the execution was to be +held), were frequently used by him in conversation. + +"Yesterday, the idea that the time had arrived seemed to be more +strongly than ever impressed upon him; especially after the departure +of the cure, who latterly has been with him every day. The documents +connected with the trial had arrived in the morning. He was ignorant of +this circumstance, but sought to discover from his guardians what +they tried to hide from him; and to find out whether his petition was +rejected, and when he was to die. + +"Yesterday, also, he had written to demand the presence of his counsel, +M. Margerand, in order that he might have some conversation with him, +and regulate his affairs, before he ----; he did not write down the +word, but left in its place a few points of the pen. + +"In the evening, whilst he was at supper, he begged earnestly to be +allowed a little wax-candle, to finish what he was writing: otherwise, +he said, TIME MIGHT FAIL. This was a new, indirect manner of repeating +his ordinary question. As light, up to that evening, had been refused +him, it was thought best to deny him in this, as in former instances; +otherwise his suspicions might have been confirmed. The keeper refused +his demand. + +"This morning, Monday, at nine o'clock, the Greffier of the Assize +Court, in fulfilment of the painful duty which the law imposes upon him, +came to the prison, in company with the cure of Bourg, and announced to +the convict that his petition was rejected, and that he had only +three hours to live. He received this fatal news with a great deal of +calmness, and showed himself to be no more affected than he had been +on the trial. 'I am ready; but I wish they had given me four-and-twenty +hours' notice,'--were all the words he used. + +"The Greffier now retired, leaving Peytel alone with the cure, who did +not thenceforth quit him. Peytel breakfasted at ten o'clock. + +"At eleven, a piquet of mounted gendarmerie and infantry took their +station upon the place before the prison, where a great concourse of +people had already assembled. An open car was at the door. Before +he went out Peytel asked the gaoler for a looking-glass; and having +examined his face for a moment, said, 'At least, the inhabitants of +Bourg will see that I have not grown thin.' + +"As twelve o'clock sounded, the prison gates opened, an aide appeared, +followed by Peytel, leaning on the arm of the cure. Peytel's face +was pale, he had a long black beard, a blue cap on his head, and his +great-coat flung over his shoulders, and buttoned at the neck. + +"He looked about at the place and the crowd; he asked if the carriage +would go at a trot; and on being told that that would be difficult, +he said he would prefer walking, and asked what the road was. He +immediately set out, walking at a firm and rapid pace. He was not bound +at all. + +"An immense crowd of people encumbered the two streets through which he +had to pass to the place of execution. He cast his eyes alternately upon +them and upon the guillotine, which was before him. + +"Arrived at the foot of the scaffold, Peytel embraced the cure, and +bade him adieu. He then embraced him again; perhaps, for his mother and +sister. He then mounted the steps rapidly, and gave himself into the +hands of the executioner, who removed his coat and cap. He asked how he +was to place himself, and on a sign being made, he flung himself briskly +on the plank, and stretched his neck. In another moment he was no more. + +"The crowd, which had been quite silent, retired, profoundly moved by +the sight it had witnessed. As at all executions, there was a very great +number of women present. + +"Under the scaffold there had been, ever since the morning, a coffin. +The family had asked for his remains, and had them immediately buried, +privately: and thus the unfortunate man's head escaped the modellers in +wax, several of whom had arrived to take an impression of it." + +Down goes the axe; the poor wretch's head rolls gasping into the basket; +the spectators go home, pondering; and Mr. Executioner and his aides +have, in half an hour, removed all traces of the august sacrifice, and +of the altar on which it had been performed. Say, Mr. Briefless, do +you think that any single person, meditating murder, would be deterred +therefrom by beholding this--nay, a thousand more executions? It is +not for moral improvement, as I take it, nor for opportunity to make +appropriate remarks upon the punishment of crime, that people make a +holiday of a killing-day, and leave their homes and occupations, to +flock and witness the cutting off of a head. Do we crowd to see Mr. +Macready in the new tragedy, or Mademoiselle Ellssler in her last new +ballet and flesh-colored stockinnet pantaloons, out of a pure love of +abstract poetry and beauty; or from a strong notion that we shall be +excited, in different ways, by the actor and the dancer? And so, as we +go to have a meal of fictitious terror at the tragedy, of something more +questionable in the ballet, we go for a glut of blood to the execution. +The lust is in every man's nature, more or less. Did you ever witness a +wrestling or boxing match? The first clatter of the kick on the shins, +or the first drawing of blood, makes the stranger shudder a little; +but soon the blood is his chief enjoyment, and he thirsts for it with a +fierce delight. It is a fine grim pleasure that we have in seeing a +man killed; and I make no doubt that the organs of destructiveness must +begin to throb and swell as we witness the delightful savage spectacle. + +Three or four years back, when Fieschi and Lacenaire were executed, I +made attempts to see the execution of both; but was disappointed in +both cases. In the first instance, the day for Fieschi's death was, +purposely, kept secret; and he was, if I remember rightly, executed at +some remote quarter of the town. But it would have done a philanthropist +good, to witness the scene which we saw on the morning when his +execution did NOT take place. + +It was carnival time, and the rumor had pretty generally been carried +abroad that he was to die on that morning. A friend, who accompanied +me, came many miles, through the mud and dark, in order to be in at the +death. We set out before light, floundering through the muddy Champs +Elysees; where, besides, were many other persons floundering, and all +bent upon the same errand. We passed by the Concert of Musard, then held +in the Rue St. Honore; and round this, in the wet, a number of coaches +were collected. The ball was just up, and a crowd of people in hideous +masquerade, drunk, tired, dirty, dressed in horrible old frippery, and +daubed with filthy rouge, were trooping out of the place: tipsy women +and men, shrieking, jabbering, gesticulating, as French will do; parties +swaggering, staggering forwards, arm in arm, reeling to and fro across +the street, and yelling songs in chorus: hundreds of these were bound +for the show, and we thought ourselves lucky in finding a vehicle to the +execution place, at the Barriere d'Enfer. As we crossed the river and +entered the Enfer Street, crowds of students, black workmen, and more +drunken devils from more carnival balls, were filling it; and on the +grand place there were thousands of these assembled, looking out for +Fiaschi and his cortege. We waited and waited; but alas! no fun for +us that morning: no throat-cutting; no august spectacle of satisfied +justice; and the eager spectators were obliged to return, disappointed +of their expected breakfast of blood. It would have been a fine scene, +that execution, could it but have taken place in the midst of the mad +mountebanks and tipsy strumpets who had flocked so far to witness it, +wishing to wind up the delights of their carnival by a bonnebouche of a +murder. + +The other attempt was equally unfortunate. We arrived too late on the +ground to be present at the execution of Lacenaire and his co-mate +in murder, Avril. But as we came to the ground (a gloomy round space, +within the barrier--three roads lead to it; and, outside, you see +the wine-shops and restaurateurs' of the barrier looking gay and +inviting,)--as we came to the ground, we only found, in the midst of it, +a little pool of ice, just partially tinged with red. Two or three idle +street-boys were dancing and stamping about this pool; and when I asked +one of them whether the execution had taken place, he began dancing more +madly than ever, and shrieked out with a loud fantastical, theatrical +voice, "Venez tous Messieurs et Dames, voyez ici le sang du monstre +Lacenaire, et de son compagnon he traitre Avril," or words to that +effect; and straightway all the other gamins screamed out the words in +chorus, and took hands and danced round the little puddle. + +O august Justice, your meal was followed by a pretty appropriate grace! +Was any man, who saw the show, deterred, or frightened, or moralized +in any way? He had gratified his appetite for blood, and this was +all. There is something singularly pleasing, both in the amusement of +execution-seeing, and in the results. You are not only delightfully +excited at the time, but most pleasingly relaxed afterwards; the mind, +which has been wound up painfully until now, becomes quite complacent +and easy. There is something agreeable in the misfortunes of others, as +the philosopher has told us. Remark what a good breakfast you eat after +an execution; how pleasant it is to cut jokes after it, and upon it. +This merry, pleasant mood is brought on by the blood tonic. + +But, for God's sake, if we are to enjoy this, let us do so in +moderation; and let us, at least, be sure of a man's guilt before we +murder him. To kill him, even with the full assurance that he is guilty +is hazardous enough. Who gave you the right to do so?--you, who cry out +against suicides, as impious and contrary to Christian law? What use is +there in killing him? You deter no one else from committing the crime +by so doing: you give us, to be sure, half an hour's pleasant +entertainment; but it is a great question whether we derive much moral +profit from the sight. If you want to keep a murderer from farther +inroads upon society, are there not plenty of hulks and prisons, God +wot; treadmills, galleys, and houses of correction? Above all, as in +the case of Sebastian Peytel and his family, there have been two +deaths already; was a third death absolutely necessary? and, taking the +fallibility of judges and lawyers into his heart, and remembering the +thousand instances of unmerited punishment that have been suffered, upon +similar and stronger evidence before, can any man declare, positively +and upon his oath, that Peytel was guilty, and that this was not THE +THIRD MURDER IN THE FAMILY? + + + + +FOUR IMITATIONS OF BERANGER + + + + +LE ROI D'YVETOT. + + + Il etait un roi d'Yvetot, + Peu connu dans l'histoire; + Se levant tard, se couchant tot, + Dormant fort bien sans gloire, + Et couronne par Jeanneton + D'un simple bonnet de coton, + Dit-on. + Oh! oh! oh! oh! ah! ah! ah! ah! + Quel bon petit roi c'etait la! + La, la. + + Il fesait ses quatre repas + Dans son palais de chaume, + Et sur un ane, pas a pas, + Parcourait son royaume. + Joyeux, simple et croyant le bien, + Pour toute garde il n'avait rien + Qu'un chien. + Oh! oh! oh! oh! ah! ah! ah! ah! &c. + La, la. + + Il n'avait de gout onereux + Qu'une soif un peu vive; + Mais, en rendant son peuple heureux, + Il faux bien qu'un roi vive. + Lui-meme a table, et sans suppot, + Sur chaque muid levait un pot + D'impot. + Oh! oh! oh! oh! ah! ah! ah! ah! &c. + La, la. + + Aux filles de bonnes maisons + Comme il avait su plaire, + Ses sujets avaient cent raisons + De le nommer leur pere: + D'ailleurs il ne levait de ban + Que pour tirer quatre fois l'an + Au blanc. + Oh! oh! oh! oh! ah! ah! ah! ah! &c. + La, la. + + Il n'agrandit point ses etats, + Fut un voisin commode, + Et, modele des potentats, + Prit le plaisir pour code. + Ce n'est que lorsqu'il expira, + Que le peuple qui l'enterra + Pleura. + Oh! oh! oh! oh! ah! ah! ah! ah! &c. + La, la. + + On conserve encor le portrait + De ce digne et bon prince; + C'est l'enseigne d'un cabaret + Fameux dans la province. + Les jours de fete, bien souvent, + La foule s'ecrie en buvant + Devant: + Oh! oh! oh! oh! ah! ah! ah! ah! + Quel bon petit roi c'etait la! + La, la. + + +THE KING OF YVETOT. + + + There was a king of Yvetot, + Of whom renown hath little said, + Who let all thoughts of glory go, + And dawdled half his days a-bed; + And every night, as night came round, + By Jenny, with a nightcap crowned, + Slept very sound: + Sing ho, ho, ho! and he, he, he! + That's the kind of king for me. + + And every day it came to pass, + That four lusty meals made he; + And, step by step, upon an ass, + Rode abroad, his realms to see; + And wherever he did stir, + What think you was his escort, sir? + Why, an old cur. + Sing ho, ho, ho! &c. + + If e'er he went into excess, + 'Twas from a somewhat lively thirst; + But he who would his subjects bless, + Odd's fish!--must wet his whistle first; + And so from every cask they got, + Our king did to himself allot, + At least a pot. + Sing ho, ho! &c. + + To all the ladies of the land, + A courteous king, and kind, was he; + The reason why you'll understand, + They named him Pater Patriae. + Each year he called his fighting men, + And marched a league from home, and then + Marched back again. + Sing ho, ho! &c. + + Neither by force nor false pretence, + He sought to make his kingdom great, + And made (O princes, learn from hence),-- + "Live and let live," his rule of state. + 'Twas only when he came to die, + That his people who stood by, + Were known to cry. + Sing ho, ho! &c. + + The portrait of this best of kings + Is extant still, upon a sign + That on a village tavern swings, + Famed in the country for good wine. + The people in their Sunday trim, + Filling their glasses to the brim, + Look up to him, + Singing ha, ha, ha! and he, he, he! + That's the sort of king for me. + + + + +THE KING OF BRENTFORD. ANOTHER VERSION. + + + There was a king in Brentford,--of whom no legends tell, + But who, without his glory,--could eat and sleep right well. + His Polly's cotton nightcap,--it was his crown of state, + He slept of evenings early,--and rose of mornings late. + + All in a fine mud palace,--each day he took four meals, + And for a guard of honor,--a dog ran at his heels, + Sometimes, to view his kingdoms,--rode forth this monarch good, + And then a prancing jackass--he royally bestrode. + + There were no costly habits--with which this king was curst, + Except (and where's the harm on't?)--a somewhat lively thirst; + But people must pay taxes,--and kings must have their sport, + So out of every gallon--His Grace he took a quart. + + He pleased the ladies round him,--with manners soft and bland; + With reason good, they named him,--the father of his land. + Each year his mighty armies--marched forth in gallant show; + Their enemies were targets--their bullets they were tow. + + He vexed no quiet neighbor,--no useless conquest made, + But by the laws of pleasure,--his peaceful realm he swayed. + And in the years he reigned,--through all this country wide, + There was no cause for weeping,--save when the good man died. + + The faithful men of Brentford,--do still their king deplore, + His portrait yet is swinging,--beside an alehouse door. + And topers, tender-hearted,--regard his honest phiz, + And envy times departed--that knew a reign like his. + + + + +LE GRENIER. + + + Je viens revoir l'asile ou ma jeunesse + De la misere a subi les lecons. + J'avais vingt ans, une folle maitresse, + De francs amis et l'amour des chansons + Bravant le monde et les sots et les sages, + Sans avenir, riche de mon printemps, + Leste et joyeux je montais six etages. + Dans un grenier qu'on est bien a vingt ans! + + C'est un grenier, point ne veux qu'on l'ignore. + La fut mon lit, bien chetif et bien dur; + La fut ma table; et je retrouve encore + Trois pieds d'un vers charbonnes sur le mur. + Apparaissez, plaisirs de mon bel age, + Que d'un coup d'aile a fustiges le temps, + Vingt fois pour vous j'ai mis ma montre en gage. + Dans un grenier qu'on est bien a vingt ans! + + Lisette ici doit surtout apparaitre, + Vive, jolie, avec un frais chapeau; + Deja sa main a l'etroite fenetre + Suspend son schal, en guise de rideau. + Sa robe aussi va parer ma couchette; + Respecte, Amour, ses plis longs et flottans. + J'ai su depuis qui payait sa toilette. + Dans un grenier qu'on est bien a vingt ans! + + A table un jour, jour de grande richesse, + De mes amis les voix brillaient en choeur, + Quand jusqu'ici monte un cri d'allegresse: + A Marengo Bonaparte est vainqueur. + Le canon gronde; un autre chant commence; + Nous celebrons tant de faits eclatans. + Les rois jamais n'envahiront la France. + Dans un grenier qu'on est bien a vingt ans! + + Quittons ce toit ou ma raison s'enivre. + Oh! qu'ils sont loin ces jours si regrettes! + J'echangerais ce qu'il me reste a vivre + Contre un des mois qu'ici Dieu m'a comptes, + Pour rever gloire, amour, plaisir, folie, + Pour depenser sa vie en peu d'instans, + D'un long espoir pour la voir embellie, + Dans un grenier qu'on est bien a vingt ans! + + + + +THE GARRET. + + + With pensive eyes the little room I view, + Where, in my youth, I weathered it so long; + With a wild mistress, a stanch friend or two, + And a light heart still breaking into song: + Making a mock of life, and all its cares, + Rich in the glory of my rising sun, + Lightly I vaulted up four pair of stairs, + In the brave days when I was twenty-one. + + Yes; 'tis a garret--let him know't who will-- + There was my bed--full hard it was and small. + My table there--and I decipher still + Half a lame couplet charcoaled on the wall. + Ye joys, that Time hath swept with him away, + Come to mine eyes, ye dreams of love and fun; + For you I pawned my watch how many a day, + In the brave days when I was twenty-one. + + And see my little Jessy, first of all; + She comes with pouting lips and sparkling eyes: + Behold, how roguishly she pins her shawl + Across the narrow casement, curtain-wise; + Now by the bed her petticoat glides down, + And when did woman look the worse in none? + I have heard since who paid for many a gown, + In the brave days when I was twenty-one. + + One jolly evening, when my friends and I + Made happy music with our songs and cheers, + A shout of triumph mounted up thus high, + And distant cannon opened on our ears: + We rise,--we join in the triumphant strain,-- + Napoleon conquers--Austerlitz is won-- + Tyrants shall never tread us down again, + In the brave days when I was twenty-one. + + Let us begone--the place is sad and strange-- + How far, far off, these happy times appear; + All that I have to live I'd gladly change + For one such month as I have wasted here-- + To draw long dreams of beauty, love, and power, + From founts of hope that never will outrun, + And drink all life's quintessence in an hour, + Give me the days when I was twenty-one! + + + + +ROGER-BONTEMPS. + + + Aux gens atrabilaires + Pour exemple donne, + En un temps de miseres + Roger-Bontemps est ne. + Vivre obscur a sa guise, + Narguer les mecontens: + Eh gai! c'est la devise + Du gros Roger-Bontemps. + + Du chapeau de son pere + Coiffe dans le grands jours, + De roses ou de lierre + Le rajeunir toujours; + Mettre un manteau de bure, + Vieil ami de vingt ans; + Eh gai! c'est la parure + Du gros Roger-Bontemps. + + Posseder dans sa hutte + Une table, un vieux lit, + Des cartes, une flute, + Un broc que Dieu remplit; + Un portrait de maitresse, + Un coffre et rien dedans; + Eh gai! c'est la richesse + Du gros Roger-Bontemps. + + Aux enfans de la ville + Montrer de petits jeux; + Etre fesseur habile + De contes graveleux; + Ne parler que de danse + Et d'almanachs chantans; + Eh gai! c'est la science + Du gros Roger-Bontemps. + + Faute de vins d'elite, + Sabler ceux du canton: + Preferer Marguerite + Aux dames du grand ton: + De joie et de tendresse + Remplir tous ses instans; + Eh gai! c'est la sagesse + Du gros Roger-Bontemps. + + Dire au ciel: Je me fie, + Mon pere, a ta bonte; + De ma philosophie + Pardonne le gaite + Que ma saison derniere + Soit encore un printemps; + Eh gai! c'est la priere + Du gros Roger-Bontemps. + + Vous, pauvres pleins d'envie, + Vous, riches desireux, + Vous, dont le char devie + Apres un cours heureux; + Vous, qui perdrez peut-etre + Des titres eclatans, + Eh gai! prenez pour maitre + Le gros Roger Bontemps. + + + + +JOLLY JACK. + + + When fierce political debate + Throughout the isle was storming, + And Rads attacked the throne and state, + And Tories the reforming, + To calm the furious rage of each, + And right the land demented, + Heaven sent us Jolly Jack, to teach + The way to be contented. + + Jack's bed was straw, 'twas warm and soft, + His chair, a three-legged stool; + His broken jug was emptied oft, + Yet, somehow, always full. + His mistress' portrait decked the wall, + His mirror had a crack; + Yet, gay and glad, though this was all + His wealth, lived Jolly Jack. + + To give advice to avarice, + Teach pride its mean condition, + And preach good sense to dull pretence, + Was honest Jack's high mission. + Our simple statesman found his rule + Of moral in the flagon, + And held his philosophic school + Beneath the "George and Dragon." + + When village Solons cursed the Lords, + And called the malt-tax sinful, + Jack heeded not their angry words, + But smiled and drank his skinful. + And when men wasted health and life, + In search of rank and riches, + Jack marked, aloof, the paltry strife, + And wore his threadbare breeches. + + "I enter not the church," he said, + "But I'll not seek to rob it;" + So worthy Jack Joe Miller read, + While others studied Cobbett. + His talk it was of feast and fun; + His guide the Almanack; + From youth to age thus gayly run + The life of Jolly Jack. + + And when Jack prayed, as oft he would, + He humbly thanked his Maker; + "I am," said he, "O Father good! + Nor Catholic nor Quaker: + Give each his creed, let each proclaim + His catalogue of curses; + I trust in Thee, and not in them, + In Thee, and in Thy mercies! + + "Forgive me if, midst all Thy works, + No hint I see of damning; + And think there's faith among the Turks, + And hope for e'en the Brahmin. + Harmless my mind is, and my mirth, + And kindly is my laughter: + I cannot see the smiling earth, + And think there's hell hereafter." + + Jack died; he left no legacy, + Save that his story teaches:-- + Content to peevish poverty; + Humility to riches. + Ye scornful great, ye envious small, + Come follow in his track; + We all were happier, if we all + Would copy JOLLY JACK. + + + + +FRENCH DRAMAS AND MELODRAMAS. + + +There are three kinds of drama in France, which you may subdivide as +much as you please. + +There is the old classical drama, wellnigh dead, and full time too: old +tragedies, in which half a dozen characters appear, and spout sonorous +Alexandrines for half a dozen hours. The fair Rachel has been trying to +revive this genre, and to untomb Racine; but be not alarmed, Racine will +never come to life again, and cause audiences to weep as of yore. Madame +Rachel can only galvanize the corpse, not revivify it. Ancient French +tragedy, red-heeled, patched, and be-periwigged, lies in the grave; +and it is only the ghost of it that we see, which the fair Jewess has +raised. There are classical comedies in verse, too, wherein the knavish +valets, rakish heroes, stolid old guardians, and smart, free-spoken +serving-women, discourse in Alexandrines, as loud as the Horaces or the +Cid. An Englishman will seldom reconcile himself to the roulement of +the verses, and the painful recurrence of the rhymes; for my part, I had +rather go to Madame Saqui's or see Deburau dancing on a rope: his lines +are quite as natural and poetical. + +Then there is the comedy of the day, of which Monsieur Scribe is the +father. Good heavens! with what a number of gay colonels, smart widows, +and silly husbands has that gentleman peopled the play-books. How that +unfortunate seventh commandment has been maltreated by him and his +disciples. You will see four pieces, at the Gymnase, of a night; and so +sure as you see them, four husbands shall be wickedly used. When is +this joke to cease? Mon Dieu! Play-writers have handled it for about two +thousand years, and the public, like a great baby, must have the tale +repeated to it over and over again. + +Finally, there is the Drama, that great monster which has sprung into +life of late years; and which is said, but I don't believe a word of it, +to have Shakspeare for a father. If Monsieur Scribe's plays may be said +to be so many ingenious examples how to break one commandment, the drame +is a grand and general chaos of them all; nay, several crimes are added, +not prohibited in the Decalogue, which was written before dramas were. +Of the drama, Victor Hugo and Dumas are the well-known and respectable +guardians. Every piece Victor Hugo has written, since "Hernani," has +contained a monster--a delightful monster, saved by one virtue. There is +Triboulet, a foolish monster; Lucrece Borgia, a maternal monster; Mary +Tudor, a religious monster; Monsieur Quasimodo, a humpback monster; +and others, that might be named, whose monstrosities we are induced to +pardon--nay, admiringly to witness--because they are agreeably mingled +with some exquisite display of affection. And, as the great Hugo has one +monster to each play, the great Dumas has, ordinarily, half a dozen, +to whom murder is nothing; common intrigue, and simple breakage of the +before-mentioned commandment, nothing; but who live and move in a vast, +delightful complication of crime, that cannot be easily conceived in +England, much less described. + +When I think over the number of crimes that I have seen Mademoiselle +Georges, for instance, commit, I am filled with wonder at her greatness, +and the greatness of the poets who have conceived these charming horrors +for her. I have seen her make love to, and murder, her sons, in the +"Tour de Nesle." I have seen her poison a company of no less than nine +gentlemen, at Ferrara, with an affectionate son in the number; I have +seen her, as Madame de Brinvilliers, kill off numbers of respectable +relations in the first four acts; and, at the last, be actually burned +at the stake, to which she comes shuddering, ghastly, barefooted, and in +a white sheet. Sweet excitement of tender sympathies! Such tragedies are +not so good as a real, downright execution; but, in point of interest, +the next thing to it: with what a number of moral emotions do they fill +the breast; with what a hatred for vice, and yet a true pity and respect +for that grain of virtue that is to be found in us all: our bloody, +daughter-loving Brinvilliers; our warmhearted, poisonous Lucretia +Borgia; above all, what a smart appetite for a cool supper afterwards, +at the Cafe Anglais, when the horrors of the play act as a piquant sauce +to the supper! + +Or, to speak more seriously, and to come, at last, to the point. After +having seen most of the grand dramas which have been produced at Paris +for the last half-dozen years, and thinking over all that one has +seen,--the fictitious murders, rapes, adulteries, and other crimes, by +which one has been interested and excited,--a man may take leave to be +heartily ashamed of the manner in which he has spent his time; and +of the hideous kind of mental intoxication in which he has permitted +himself to indulge. + +Nor are simple society outrages the only sort of crime in which the +spectator of Paris plays has permitted himself to indulge; he has +recreated himself with a deal of blasphemy besides, and has passed many +pleasant evenings in beholding religion defiled and ridiculed. + +Allusion has been made, in a former paper, to a fashion that lately +obtained in France, and which went by the name of Catholic reaction; and +as, in this happy country, fashion is everything, we have had not merely +Catholic pictures and quasi religious books, but a number of Catholic +plays have been produced, very edifying to the frequenters of the +theatres or the Boulevards, who have learned more about religion from +these performances than they have acquired, no doubt, in the whole of +their lives before. In the course of a very few years we have seen--"The +Wandering Jew;" "Belshazzar's Feast;" "Nebuchadnezzar:" and the +"Massacre of the Innocents;" "Joseph and his Brethren;" "The Passage of +the Red Sea;" and "The Deluge." + +The great Dumas, like Madame Sand before mentioned, has brought a +vast quantity of religion before the foot-lights. There was his famous +tragedy of "Caligula," which, be it spoken to the shame of the Paris +critics, was coldly received; nay, actually hissed, by them. And why? +Because, says Dumas, it contained a great deal too much piety for the +rogues. The public, he says, was much more religious, and understood him +at once. + +"As for the critics," says he, nobly, "let those who cried out against +the immorality of Antony and Marguerite de Bourgogne, reproach me for +THE CHASTITY OF MESSALINA." (This dear creature is the heroine of the +play of "Caligula.") "It matters little to me. These people have but +seen the form of my work: they have walked round the tent, but have not +seen the arch which it covered; they have examined the vases and candles +of the altar, but have not opened the tabernacle! + +"The public alone has, instinctively, comprehended that there was, +beneath this outward sign, an inward and mysterious grace: it followed +the action of the piece in all its serpentine windings; it listened for +four hours, with pious attention (avec recueillement et religion), to +the sound of this rolling river of thoughts, which may have appeared to +it new and bold, perhaps, but chaste and grave; and it retired, with its +head on its breast, like a man who had just perceived, in a dream, the +solution of a problem which he has long and vainly sought in his waking +hours." + +You see that not only Saint Sand is an apostle, in her way; but Saint +Dumas is another. We have people in England who write for bread, like +Dumas and Sand, and are paid so much for their line; but they don't set +up for prophets. Mrs. Trollope has never declared that her novels are +inspired by heaven; Mr. Buckstone has written a great number of farces, +and never talked about the altar and the tabernacle. Even Sir Edward +Bulwer (who, on a similar occasion, when the critics found fault with +a play of his, answered them by a pretty decent declaration of his own +merits,) never ventured to say that he had received a divine mission, +and was uttering five-act revelations. + +All things considered, the tragedy of "Caligula" is a decent tragedy; as +decent as the decent characters of the hero and heroine can allow it +to be; it may be almost said, provokingly decent: but this, it must be +remembered, is the characteristic of the modern French school (nay, +of the English school too); and if the writer take the character of +a remarkable scoundrel, it is ten to one but he turns out an amiable +fellow, in whom we have all the warmest sympathy. "Caligula" is killed +at the end of the performance; Messalina is comparatively well-behaved; +and the sacred part of the performance, the tabernacle-characters apart +from the mere "vase" and "candlestick" personages, may be said to be +depicted in the person of a Christian convert, Stella, who has had the +good fortune to be converted by no less a person than Mary Magdalene, +when she, Stella, was staying on a visit to her aunt, near Narbonne. + + +STELLA (Continuant.) Voila Que je vois s'avancer, sans pilote et sans +rames, Une barque portant deux hommes et deux femmes, Et, spectacle +inoui qui me ravit encor, Tous quatre avaient au front une aureole +d'or D'ou partaient des rayons de si vive lumiere Que je fus obligee a +baisser la paupiere; Et, lorsque je rouvris les yeux avec effroi, Les +voyageurs divins etaient aupres de moi. Un jour de chacun d'eux et +dans toute sa gloire Je te raconterai la marveilleuse histoire, Et tu +l'adoreras, j'espere; en ce moment, Ma mere, il te suffit de savoir +seulement Que tous quatre venaient du fond de la Syrie: Un edit les +avait bannis de leur patrie, Et, se faisant bourreaux, des hommes +irrites, Sans avirons, sans eau, sans pain et garrotes, Sur une frele +barque echouee au rivage, Les avaient a la mer pousses dans un orage. +Mais a peine l'esquif eut-il touche les flots Qu'au cantique chante par +les saints matelots, L'ouragan replia ses ailes fremissantes, Que la mer +aplanit ses vagues mugissantes, Et qu'un soleil plus pur, reparaissant +aux cieux, Enveloppa l'esquif d'un cercle radieux!... + +JUNIA.--Mais c'etait un prodige. + +STELLA.-- Un miracle, ma mere! Leurs fers tomberent seuls, l'eau cessa +d'etre amere, Et deux fois chaque jour le bateau fut couvert D'une +manne pareille a celle du desert: C'est ainsi que, pousses par une main +celeste, Je les vis aborder. + +JUNIA.-- Oh! dis vite le reste! + +STELLA.--A l'aube, trois d'entre eux quitterent la maison: Marthe prit +le chemin qui mene a Tarascon, Lazare et Maximin celui de Massilie, +Et celle qui resta.... C'ETAIT LA PLUS JOLIE, (how truly French!) Nous +faisant appeler vers le milieu du jour, Demanda si les monts ou les bois +d'alentour Cachaient quelque retraite inconnue et profonde, Qui la +put separer a tout jamais du monde..... Aquila se souvint qu'il avait +penetre Dans un antre sauvage et de tous ignore, Grotte creusee aux +flancs de ces Alpes sublimes, Ou l'aigle fait son aire au-dessus des +abimes. Il offrit cet asile, et des le lendemain Tous deux, pour l'y +guider, nous etions en chemin. Le soir du second jour nous touchames sa +base: La, tombant a genoux dans une sainte extase, Elle pria long-temps, +puis vers l'antre inconnu, Denouant se chaussure, elle marcha pied nu. +Nos prieres, nos cris resterent sans reponses: Au milieu des cailloux, +des epines, des ronces, Nous la vimes monter, un baton a la main, Et ce +n'est qu'arrivee au terme du chemin, Qu'enfin elle tomba sans force et +sans haleine.... + +JUNIA.--Comment la nommait-on, ma fille? + +STELLA.-- Madeleine. + + +Walking, says Stella, by the sea-shore, "A bark drew near, that had nor +sail nor oar; two women and two men the vessel bore: each of that crew, +'twas wondrous to behold, wore round his head a ring of blazing gold; +from which such radiance glittered all around, that I was fain to look +towards the ground. And when once more I raised my frightened eyne, +before me stood the travellers divine; their rank, the glorious lot that +each befell, at better season, mother, will I tell. Of this anon: +the time will come when thou shalt learn to worship as I worship now. +Suffice it, that from Syria's land they came; an edict from their +country banished them. Fierce, angry men had seized upon the four, and +launched them in that vessel from the shore. They launched these victims +on the waters rude; nor rudder gave to steer, nor bread for food. As the +doomed vessel cleaves the stormy main, that pious crew uplifts a sacred +strain; the angry waves are silent as it sings; the storm, awe-stricken, +folds its quivering wings. A purer sun appears the heavens to light, and +wraps the little bark in radiance bright. + +"JUNIA.--Sure, 'twas a prodigy. + +"STELLA.--A miracle. Spontaneous from their hands the fetters fell. The +salt sea-wave grew fresh, and, twice a day, manna (like that which on +the desert lay) covered the bark and fed them on their way. Thus, hither +led, at heaven's divine behest, I saw them land-- + +"JUNIA.--My daughter, tell the rest. + +"STELLA.--Three of the four, our mansion left at dawn. One, Martha, took +the road to Tarascon; Lazarus and Maximin to Massily; but one remained +(the fairest of the three), who asked us, if i' the woods or mountains +near, there chanced to be some cavern lone and drear; where she might +hide, for ever, from all men. It chanced, my cousin knew of such a den; +deep hidden in a mountain's hoary breast, on which the eagle builds his +airy nest. And thither offered he the saint to guide. Next day upon the +journey forth we hied; and came, at the second eve, with weary pace, +unto the lonely mountain's rugged base. Here the worn traveller, falling +on her knee, did pray awhile in sacred ecstasy; and, drawing off her +sandals from her feet, marched, naked, towards that desolate retreat. No +answer made she to our cries or groans; but walking midst the prickles +and rude stones, a staff in hand, we saw her upwards toil; nor ever did +she pause, nor rest the while, save at the entry of that savage den. +Here, powerless and panting, fell she then. + +"JUNIA.--What was her name, my daughter? + +"STELLA. MAGDALEN." + + +Here the translator must pause--having no inclination to enter "the +tabernacle," in company with such a spotless high-priest as Monsieur +Dumas. + +Something "tabernacular" may be found in Dumas's famous piece of "Don +Juan de Marana." The poet has laid the scene of his play in a vast +number of places: in heaven (where we have the Virgin Mary and little +angels, in blue, swinging censers before her!)--on earth, under the +earth, and in a place still lower, but not mentionable to ears polite; +and the plot, as it appears from a dialogue between a good and a bad +angel, with which the play commences, turns upon a contest between these +two worthies for the possession of the soul of a member of the family of +Marana. + +"Don Juan de Marana" not only resembles his namesake, celebrated by +Mozart and Moliere, in his peculiar successes among the ladies, but +possesses further qualities which render his character eminently +fitting for stage representation: he unites the virtues of Lovelace +and Lacenaire; he blasphemes upon all occasions; he murders, at the +slightest provocation, and without the most trifling remorse; he +overcomes ladies of rigid virtue, ladies of easy virtue, and ladies of +no virtue at all; and the poet, inspired by the contemplation of such +a character, has depicted his hero's adventures and conversation with +wonderful feeling and truth. + +The first act of the play contains a half-dozen of murders and +intrigues; which would have sufficed humbler genius than M. Dumas's, for +the completion of, at least, half a dozen tragedies. In the second act +our hero flogs his elder brother, and runs away with his sister-in-law; +in the third, he fights a duel with a rival, and kills him: whereupon +the mistress of his victim takes poison, and dies, in great agonies, on +the stage. In the fourth act, Don Juan, having entered a church for the +purpose of carrying off a nun, with whom he is in love, is seized by the +statue of one of the ladies whom he has previously victimized, and made +to behold the ghosts of all those unfortunate persons whose deaths he +has caused. + +This is a most edifying spectacle. The ghosts rise solemnly, each in a +white sheet, preceded by a wax-candle; and, having declared their names +and qualities, call, in chorus, for vengeance upon Don Juan, as thus:-- + + +DON SANDOVAL loquitur. + +"I am Don Sandoval d'Ojedo. I played against Don Juan my fortune, the +tomb of my fathers, and the heart of my mistress;--I lost all: I played +against him my life, and I lost it. Vengeance against the murderer! +vengeance!"--(The candle goes out.) + + +THE CANDLE GOES OUT, and an angel descends--a flaming sword in his +hand--and asks: "Is there no voice in favor of Don Juan?" when lo! +Don Juan's father (like one of those ingenious toys called +"Jack-in-the-box,") jumps up from his coffin, and demands grace for his +son. + +When Martha the nun returns, having prepared all things for her +elopement, she finds Don Juan fainting upon the ground.--"I am no longer +your husband," says he, upon coming to himself; "I am no longer Don +Juan; I am Brother Juan the Trappist. Sister Martha, recollect that you +must die!" + +This was a most cruel blow upon Sister Martha, who is no less a person +than an angel, an angel in disguise--the good spirit of the house of +Marana, who has gone to the length of losing her wings and forfeiting +her place in heaven, in order to keep company with Don Juan on earth, +and, if possible, to convert him. Already, in her angelic character, she +had exhorted him to repentance, but in vain; for, while she stood at one +elbow, pouring not merely hints, but long sermons, into his ear, at the +other elbow stood a bad spirit, grinning and sneering at all her pious +counsels, and obtaining by far the greater share of the Don's attention. + +In spite, however, of the utter contempt with which Don Juan treats +her,--in spite of his dissolute courses, which must shock her +virtue,--and his impolite neglect, which must wound her vanity, the poor +creature (who, from having been accustomed to better company, might have +been presumed to have had better taste), the unfortunate angel feels a +certain inclination for the Don, and actually flies up to heaven to ask +permission to remain with him on earth. + +And when the curtain draws up, to the sound of harps, and discovers +white-robed angels walking in the clouds, we find the angel of Marana +upon her knees, uttering the following address:-- + + +LE BON ANGE. + + Vierge, a qui le calice a la liqueur amere + Fut si souvent offert, + Mere, que l'on nomma la douloureuse mere, + Tant vous avez souffert! + + Vous, dont les yeux divins sur la terre des hommes + Ont verse plus de pleurs + Que vos pieds n'ont depuis, dans le ciel ou nous sommes, + Fait eclore de fleurs. + + Vase d'election, etoile matinale, + Miroir de purete, + Vous qui priez pour nous, d'une voix virginale, + La supreme bonte; + + A mon tour, aujourd'hui, bienheureuse Marie, + Je tombe a vos genoux; + Daignez donc m'ecouter, car c'est vous que je prie, + Vous qui priez pour nous. + + + Which may be thus interpreted:-- + + + O Virgin blest! by whom the bitter draught + So often has been quaffed, + That, for thy sorrow, thou art named by us + The Mother Dolorous! + + Thou, from whose eyes have fallen more tears of woe, + Upon the earth below, + Than 'neath thy footsteps, in this heaven of ours, + Have risen flowers! + + O beaming morning star! O chosen vase! + O mirror of all grace! + Who, with thy virgin voice, dost ever pray + Man's sins away; + + Bend down thine ear, and list, O blessed saint! + Unto my sad complaint; + Mother! to thee I kneel, on thee I call, + Who hearest all. + + +She proceeds to request that she may be allowed to return to earth, and +follow the fortunes of Don Juan; and, as there is one difficulty, or, to +use her own words,-- + + + Mais, comme vous savez qu'aux voutes eternelles, + Malgre moi, tend mon vol, + Soufflez sur mon etoile et detachez mes ailes, + Pour m'enchainer au sol; + + +her request is granted, her star is BLOWN OUT (O poetic allusion!) and +she descends to earth to love, and to go mad, and to die for Don Juan! + +The reader will require no further explanation, in order to be satisfied +as to the moral of this play: but is it not a very bitter satire upon +the country, which calls itself the politest nation in the world, that +the incidents, the indecency, the coarse blasphemy, and the vulgar +wit of this piece, should find admirers among the public, and procure +reputation for the author? Could not the Government, which has +re-established, in a manner, the theatrical censorship, and forbids or +alters plays which touch on politics, exert the same guardianship +over public morals? The honest English reader, who has a faith in his +clergyman, and is a regular attendant at Sunday worship, will not be a +little surprised at the march of intellect among our neighbors across +the Channel, and at the kind of consideration in which they hold their +religion. Here is a man who seizes upon saints and angels, merely to put +sentiments in their mouths which might suit a nymph of Drury Lane. He +shows heaven, in order that he may carry debauch into it; and avails +himself of the most sacred and sublime parts of our creed as a vehicle +for a scene-painter's skill, or an occasion for a handsome actress to +wear a new dress. + +M. Dumas's piece of "Kean" is not quite so sublime; it was brought out +by the author as a satire upon the French critics, who, to their credit +be it spoken, had generally attacked him, and was intended by him, and +received by the public, as a faithful portraiture of English manners. +As such, it merits special observation and praise. In the first act you +find a Countess and an Ambassadress, whose conversation relates purely +to the great actor. All the ladies in London are in love with him, +especially the two present. As for the Ambassadress, she prefers him +to her husband (a matter of course in all French plays), and to a more +seducing person still--no less a person than the Prince of Wales! +who presently waits on the ladies, and joins in their conversation +concerning Kean. "This man," says his Royal Highness, "is the very pink +of fashion. Brummell is nobody when compared to him; and I myself only +an insignificant private gentleman. He has a reputation among ladies, +for which I sigh in vain; and spends an income twice as great as mine." +This admirable historic touch at once paints the actor and the Prince; +the estimation in which the one was held, and the modest economy for +which the other was so notorious. + +Then we have Kean, at a place called the Trou de Charbon, the "Coal +Hole," where, to the edification of the public, he engages in a fisty +combat with a notorious boxer. This scene was received by the audience +with loud exclamations of delight, and commented on, by the journals, +as a faultless picture of English manners. "The Coal Hole" being on the +banks of the Thames, a nobleman--LORD MELBOURN!--has chosen the tavern +as a rendezvous for a gang of pirates, who are to have their ship in +waiting, in order to carry off a young lady with whom his lordship is +enamored. It need not be said that Kean arrives at the nick of time, +saves the innocent Meess Anna, and exposes the infamy of the Peer. A +violent tirade against noblemen ensues, and Lord Melbourn slinks away, +disappointed, to meditate revenge. Kean's triumphs continue through +all the acts: the Ambassadress falls madly in love with him; the Prince +becomes furious at his ill success, and the Ambassador dreadfully +jealous. They pursue Kean to his dressing-room at the theatre; where, +unluckily, the Ambassadress herself has taken refuge. Dreadful quarrels +ensue; the tragedian grows suddenly mad upon the stage, and so cruelly +insults the Prince of Wales that his Royal Highness determines to send +HIM TO BOTANY BAY. His sentence, however, is commuted to banishment to +New York; whither, of course, Miss Anna accompanies him; rewarding him, +previously, with her hand and twenty thousand a year! + +This wonderful performance was gravely received and admired by the +people of Paris: the piece was considered to be decidedly moral, because +the popular candidate was made to triumph throughout, and to triumph in +the most virtuous manner; for, according to the French code of morals, +success among women is, at once, the proof and the reward of virtue. + +The sacred personage introduced in Dumas's play behind a cloud, figures +bodily in the piece of the Massacre of the Innocents, represented at +Paris last year. She appears under a different name, but the costume +is exactly that of Carlo Dolce's Madonna; and an ingenious fable is +arranged, the interest of which hangs upon the grand Massacre of the +Innocents, perpetrated in the fifth act. One of the chief characters +is Jean le Precurseur, who threatens woe to Herod and his race, and is +beheaded by orders of that sovereign. + +In the Festin de Balthazar, we are similarly introduced to Daniel, and +the first scene is laid by the waters of Babylon, where a certain number +of captive Jews are seated in melancholy postures; a Babylonian officer +enters, exclaiming, "Chantez nous quelques chansons de Jerusalem," and +the request is refused in the language of the Psalm. Belshazzar's Feast +is given in a grand tableau, after Martin's picture. That painter, in +like manner, furnished scenes for the Deluge. Vast numbers of schoolboys +and children are brought to see these pieces; the lower classes delight +in them. The famous Juif Errant, at the theatre of the Porte St. +Martin, was the first of the kind, and its prodigious success, no +doubt, occasioned the number of imitations which the other theatres have +produced. + +The taste of such exhibitions, of course, every English person will +question; but we must remember the manners of the people among whom they +are popular; and, if I may be allowed to hazard such an opinion, there +is in every one of these Boulevard mysteries, a kind of rude moral. The +Boulevard writers don't pretend to "tabernacles" and divine gifts, like +Madame Sand and Dumas before mentioned. If they take a story from the +sacred books, they garble it without mercy, and take sad liberties with +the text; but they do not deal in descriptions of the agreeably +wicked, or ask pity and admiration for tender-hearted criminals and +philanthropic murderers, as their betters do. Vice is vice on the +Boulevard; and it is fine to hear the audience, as a tyrant king roars +out cruel sentences of death, or a bereaved mother pleads for the life +of her child, making their remarks on the circumstances of the scene. +"Ah, le gredin!" growls an indignant countryman. "Quel monstre!" says a +grisette, in a fury. You see very fat old men crying like babies, +and, like babies, sucking enormous sticks of barley-sugar. Actors and +audience enter warmly into the illusion of the piece; and so especially +are the former affected, that at Franconi's, where the battles of the +Empire are represented, there is as regular gradation in the ranks of +the mimic army as in the real imperial legions. After a man has served, +with credit, for a certain number of years in the line, he is promoted +to be an officer--an acting officer. If he conducts himself well, he may +rise to be a Colonel or a General of Division; if ill, he is degraded to +the ranks again; or, worst degradation of all, drafted into a regiment +of Cossacks or Austrians. Cossacks is the lowest depth, however; nay, +it is said that the men who perform these Cossack parts receive higher +wages than the mimic grenadiers and old guard. They will not consent +to be beaten every night, even in play; to be pursued in hundreds, by a +handful of French; to fight against their beloved Emperor. Surely there +is fine hearty virtue in this, and pleasant child-like simplicity. + +So that while the drama of Victor Hugo, Dumas, and the enlightened +classes, is profoundly immoral and absurd, the DRAMA of the common +people is absurd, if you will, but good and right-hearted. I have made +notes of one or two of these pieces, which all have good feeling and +kindness in them, and which turn, as the reader will see, upon one or +two favorite points of popular morality. A drama that obtained a vast +success at the Porte Saint Martin was "La Duchesse de la Vauballiere." +The Duchess is the daughter of a poor farmer, who was carried off in the +first place, and then married by M. le Duc de la Vauballiere, a terrible +roue, the farmer's landlord, and the intimate friend of Philippe +d'Orleans, the Regent of France. + +Now the Duke, in running away with the lady, intended to dispense +altogether with ceremony, and make of Julie anything but his wife; but +Georges, her father, and one Morisseau, a notary, discovered him in +his dastardly act, and pursued him to the very feet of the Regent, who +compelled the pair to marry and make it up. + +Julie complies; but though she becomes a Duchess, her heart remains +faithful to her old flame, Adrian, the doctor; and she declares that, +beyond the ceremony, no sort of intimacy shall take place between her +husband and herself. + +Then the Duke begins to treat her in the most ungentleman-like manner: +he abuses her in every possible way; he introduces improper characters +into her house; and, finally, becomes so disgusted with her, that he +determines to make away with her altogether. + +For this purpose, he sends forth into the highways and seizes a doctor, +bidding him, on pain of death, to write a poisonous prescription for +Madame la Duchesse. She swallows the potion; and O horror! the doctor +turns out to be Dr. Adrian; whose woe may be imagined, upon finding that +he has been thus committing murder on his true love! + +Let not the reader, however, be alarmed as to the fate of the +heroine; no heroine of a tragedy ever yet died in the third act; and, +accordingly, the Duchess gets up perfectly well again in the fourth, +through the instrumentality of Morisseau, the good lawyer. + +And now it is that vice begins to be really punished. The Duke, who, +after killing his wife, thinks it necessary to retreat, and take refuge +in Spain, is tracked to the borders of that country by the virtuous +notary, and there receives such a lesson as he will never forget to his +dying day. + +Morisseau, in the first instance, produces a deed (signed by his +Holiness the Pope), which annuls the marriage of the Duke de la +Vauballiere; then another deed, by which it is proved that he was not +the eldest son of old La Vauballiere, the former Duke; then another +deed, by which he shows that old La Vauballiere (who seems to have been +a disreputable old fellow) was a bigamist, and that, in consequence, +the present man, styling himself Duke, is illegitimate; and finally, +Morisseau brings forward another document, which proves that the REG'LAR +Duke is no other than Adrian, the doctor! + +Thus it is that love, law, and physic combined, triumph over the horrid +machinations of this star-and-gartered libertine. + +"Hermann l'Ivrogne" is another piece of the same order; and though not +very refined, yet possesses considerable merit. As in the case of the +celebrated Captain Smith of Halifax, who "took to drinking ratafia, +and thought of poor Miss Bailey,"--a woman and the bottle have been the +cause of Hermann's ruin. Deserted by his mistress, who has been seduced +from him by a base Italian Count, Hermann, a German artist, gives +himself entirely up to liquor and revenge: but when he finds that force, +and not infidelity, have been the cause of his mistress's ruin, the +reader can fancy the indignant ferocity with which he pursues the infame +ravisseur. A scene, which is really full of spirit, and excellently well +acted, here ensues! Hermann proposes to the Count, on the eve of their +duel, that the survivor should bind himself to espouse the unhappy +Marie; but the Count declares himself to be already married, and the +student, finding a duel impossible (for his object was to restore, at +all events, the honor of Marie), now only thinks of his revenge, +and murders the Count. Presently, two parties of men enter Hermann's +apartment: one is a company of students, who bring him the news that he +has obtained the prize of painting; the other the policemen, who carry +him to prison, to suffer the penalty of murder. + +I could mention many more plays in which the popular morality is +similiarly expressed. The seducer, or rascal of the piece, is always an +aristocrat,--a wicked count, or licentious marquis, who is brought to +condign punishment just before the fall of the curtain. And too good +reason have the French people had to lay such crimes to the charge of +the aristocracy, who are expiating now, on the stage, the wrongs which +they did a hundred years since. The aristocracy is dead now; but the +theatre lives upon traditions: and don't let us be too scornful at +such simple legends as are handed down by the people from race to race. +Vulgar prejudice against the great it may be; but prejudice against +the great is only a rude expression of sympathy with the poor; long, +therefore, may fat epiciers blubber over mimic woes, and honest +proletaires shake their fists, shouting--"Gredin, scelerat, monstre de +marquis!" and such republican cries. + +Remark, too, another development of this same popular feeling of dislike +against men in power. What a number of plays and legends have we (the +writer has submitted to the public, in the preeeding pages, a couple of +specimens; one of French, and the other of Polish origin,) in which +that great and powerful aristocrat, the Devil, is made to be miserably +tricked, humiliated, and disappointed? A play of this class, which, in +the midst of all its absurdities and claptraps, had much of good in it, +was called "Le Maudit des Mers." Le Maudit is a Dutch captain, who, in +the midst of a storm, while his crew were on their knees at prayers, +blasphemed and drank punch; but what was his astonishment at beholding +an archangel with a sword all covered with flaming resin, who told him +that as he, in this hour of danger, was too daring, or too wicked, to +utter a prayer, he never should cease roaming the seas until he could +find some being who would pray to heaven for him! + +Once only, in a hundred years, was the skipper allowed to land for this +purpose; and this piece runs through four centuries, in as many +acts, describing the agonies and unavailing attempts of the miserable +Dutchman. Willing to go any lengths in order to obtain his prayer, he, +in the second act, betrays a Virgin of the Sun to a follower of Pizarro: +and, in the third, assassinates the heroic William of Nassau; but ever +before the dropping of the curtain, the angel and sword make +their appearance--"Treachery," says the spirit, "cannot lessen thy +punishment;--crime will not obtain thy release--A la mer! a la mer!" and +the poor devil returns to the ocean, to be lonely, and tempest-tossed, +and sea-sick for a hundred years more. + +But his woes are destined to end with the fourth act. Having landed in +America, where the peasants on the sea-shore, all dressed in Italian +costumes, are celebrating, in a quadrille, the victories of Washington, +he is there lucky enough to find a young girl to pray for him. Then the +curse is removed, the punishment is over, and a celestial vessel, with +angels on the decks and "sweet little cherubs" fluttering about the +shrouds and the poop, appear to receive him. + +This piece was acted at Franconi's, where, for once, an angel-ship was +introduced in place of the usual horsemanship. + +One must not forget to mention here, how the English nation is satirized +by our neighbors; who have some droll traditions regarding us. In one of +the little Christmas pieces produced at the Palais Royal (satires upon +the follies of the past twelve months, on which all the small theatres +exhaust their wit), the celebrated flight of Messrs. Green and Monck +Mason was parodied, and created a good deal of laughter at the expense +of John Bull. Two English noblemen, Milor Cricri and Milor Hanneton, +appear as descending from a balloon, and one of them communicates to the +public the philosophic observations which were made in the course of his +aerial tour. + +"On leaving Vauxhall," says his lordship, "we drank a bottle of Madeira, +as a health to the friends from whom we parted, and crunched a few +biscuits to support nature during the hours before lunch. In two hours +we arrived at Canterbury, enveloped in clouds: lunch, bottled porter: +at Dover, carried several miles in a tide of air, bitter cold, +cherry-brandy; crossed over the Channel safely, and thought with pity of +the poor people who were sickening in the steamboats below: more +bottled porter: over Calais, dinner, roast-beef of Old England; +near Dunkirk,--night falling, lunar rainbow, brandy-and-water; night +confoundedly thick; supper, nightcap of rum-punch, and so to bed. The +sun broke beautifully through the morning mist, as we boiled the kettle +and took our breakfast over Cologne. In a few more hours we concluded +this memorable voyage, and landed safely at Weilburg, in good time for +dinner." + +The joke here is smart enough; but our honest neighbors make many +better, when they are quite unconscious of the fun. Let us leave plays, +for a moment, for poetry, and take an instance of French criticism, +concerning England, from the works of a famous French exquisite and man +of letters. The hero of the poem addresses his mistress-- + + + Londres, tu le sais trop, en fait de capitale, + Est-ce que fit le ciel de plus froid et plus pale, + C'est la ville du gaz, des marins, du brouillard; + On s'y couche a minuit, et l'on s'y leve tard; + Ses raouts tant vantes ne sont qu'une boxade, + Sur ses grands quais jamais echelle ou serenade, + Mais de volumineux bourgeois pris de porter + Qui passent sans lever le front a Westminster; + Et n'etait sa foret de mats percant la brume, + Sa tour dont a minuit le vieil oeil s'allume, + Et tes deux yeux, Zerline, illumines bien plus, + Je dirais que, ma foi, des romans que j'ai lus, + Il n'en est pas un seul, plus lourd, plus lethargique + Que cette nation qu'on nomme Britannique! + + +The writer of the above lines (which let any man who can translate) is +Monsieur Roger de Beauvoir, a gentleman who actually lived many months +in England, as an attache to the embassy of M. de Polignac. He places +the heroine of his tale in a petit reduit pres le Strand, "with a green +and fresh jalousie, and a large blind, let down all day; you fancied +you were entering a bath of Asia, as soon as you had passed the perfumed +threshold of this charming retreat!" He next places her-- + + + Dans un square ecarte, morne et couverte de givre, + Ou se cache un hotel, aux vieux lions de cuivre; + + +and the hero of the tale, a young French poet, who is in London, is +truly unhappy in that village. + + + Arthur desseche et meurt. Dans la ville de Sterne, + Rien qu'en voyant le peuple il a le mal de mer + Il n'aime ni le Parc, gai comme une citerne, + Ni le tir au pigeon, ni le soda-water. + + Liston ne le fait plus sourciller! Il rumine + Sur les trottoirs du Strand, droit comme un echiquier, + Contre le peuple anglais, les negres, la vermine, + Et les mille cokneys du peuple boutiquier, + + Contre tous les bas-bleus, contre les patissieres, + Les parieurs d'Epsom, le gin, le parlement, + La quaterly, le roi, la pluie et les libraires, + Dont il ne touche plus, helas! un sou d'argent! + + Et chaque gentleman lui dit: L'heureux poete! + + +"L'heureux poete" indeed! I question if a poet in this wide world is so +happy as M. de Beauvoir, or has made such wonderful discoveries. "The +bath of Asia, with green jalousies," in which the lady dwells; "the old +hotel, with copper lions, in a lonely square;"--were ever such things +heard of, or imagined, but by a Frenchman? The sailors, the negroes, the +vermin, whom he meets in the street,--how great and happy are all these +discoveries! Liston no longer makes the happy poet frown; and "gin," +"cokneys," and the "quaterly" have not the least effect upon him! +And this gentleman has lived many months amongst us; admires Williams +Shakspear, the "grave et vieux prophete," as he calls him, and never, +for an instant, doubts that his description contains anything absurd! + +I don't know whether the great Dumas has passed any time in England; but +his plays show a similar intimate knowledge of our habits. Thus in Kean, +the stage-manager is made to come forward and address the pit, with +a speech beginning, "My Lords and Gentlemen;" and a company of +Englishwomen are introduced (at the memorable "Coal hole"), and they all +wear PINAFORES; as if the British female were in the invariable habit of +wearing this outer garment, or slobbering her gown without it. There was +another celebrated piece, enacted some years since, upon the subject +of Queen Caroline, where our late adored sovereign, George, was made to +play a most despicable part; and where Signor Bergami fought a duel with +Lord Londonderry. In the last act of this play, the House of Lords was +represented, and Sir Brougham made an eloquent speech in the Queen's +favor. Presently the shouts of the mob were heard without; from shouting +they proceeded to pelting; and pasteboard-brickbats and cabbages came +flying among the representatives of our hereditary legislature. At this +unpleasant juncture, SIR HARDINGE, the Secretary-at-War, rises and calls +in the military; the act ends in a general row, and the ignominious fall +of Lord Liverpool, laid low by a brickbat from the mob! + +The description of these scenes is, of course, quite incapable of +conveying any notion of their general effect. You must have the +solemnity of the actors, as they Meess and Milor one another, and the +perfect gravity and good faith with which the audience listen to them. +Our stage Frenchman is the old Marquis, with sword, and pigtail, +and spangled court coat. The Englishman of the French theatre has, +invariably, a red wig, and almost always leather gaiters, and a long +white upper Benjamin: he remains as he was represented in the old +caricatures after the peace, when Vernet designed him. + +And to conclude this catalogue of blunders: in the famous piece of +the "Naufrage de la Meduse," the first act is laid on board an English +ship-of-war, all the officers of which appeared in light blue or +green coats (the lamp-light prevented our distinguishing the color +accurately), and TOP-BOOTS! + + +Let us not attempt to deaden the force of this tremendous blow by any +more remarks. The force of blundering can go no further. Would a Chinese +playwright or painter have stranger notions about the barbarians than +our neighbors, who are separated from us but by two hours of salt water? + + + + +MEDITATIONS AT VERSAILLES. + + +The palace of Versailles has been turned into a bricabrac shop of late +years, and its time-honored walls have been covered with many thousand +yards of the worst pictures that eye ever looked on. I don't know how +many leagues of battles and sieges the unhappy visitor is now obliged +to march through, amidst a crowd of chattering Paris cockneys, who are +never tired of looking at the glories of the Grenadier Francais; to +the chronicling of whose deeds this old palace of the old kings is now +altogether devoted. A whizzing, screaming steam-engine rushes hither +from Paris, bringing shoals of badauds in its wake. The old coucous +are all gone, and their place knows them no longer. Smooth asphaltum +terraces, tawdry lamps, and great hideous Egyptian obelisks, have +frightened them away from the pleasant station they used to occupy under +the trees of the Champs Elysees; and though the old coucous were just +the most uncomfortable vehicles that human ingenuity ever constructed, +one can't help looking back to the days of their existence with a tender +regret; for there was pleasure then in the little trip of three leagues: +and who ever had pleasure in a railway journey? Does any reader of this +venture to say that, on such a voyage, he ever dared to be pleasant? +Do the most hardened stokers joke with one another? I don't believe it. +Look into every single car of the train, and you will see that every +single face is solemn. They take their seats gravely, and are silent, +for the most part, during the journey; they dare not look out of window, +for fear of being blinded by the smoke that comes whizzing by, or of +losing their heads in one of the windows of the down train; they ride +for miles in utter damp and darkness: through awful pipes of brick, that +have been run pitilessly through the bowels of gentle mother earth, the +cast-iron Frankenstein of an engine gallops on, puffing and screaming. +Does any man pretend to say that he ENJOYS the journey?--he might as +well say that he enjoyed having his hair cut; he bears it, but that is +all: he will not allow the world to laugh at him, for any exhibition +of slavish fear; and pretends, therefore, to be at his ease; but he IS +afraid: nay, ought to be, under the circumstances. I am sure Hannibal or +Napoleon would, were they locked suddenly into a car; there kept close +prisoners for a certain number of hours, and whirled along at this dizzy +pace. You can't stop, if you would:--you may die, but you can't stop; +the engine may explode upon the road, and up you go along with it; or, +may be a bolter and take a fancy to go down a hill, or into a river: +all this you must bear, for the privilege of travelling twenty miles an +hour. + +This little journey, then, from Paris to Versailles, that used to be +so merry of old, has lost its pleasures since the disappearance of the +coucous; and I would as lief have for companions the statues that lately +took a coach from the bridge opposite the Chamber of Deputies, and +stepped out in the court of Versailles, as the most part of the people +who now travel on the railroad. The stone figures are not a whit more +cold and silent than these persons, who used to be, in the old coucous, +so talkative and merry. The prattling grisette and her swain from the +Ecole de Droit; the huge Alsacian carabineer, grimly smiling under his +sandy moustaches and glittering brass helmet; the jolly nurse, in +red calico, who had been to Paris to show mamma her darling Lolo, or +Auguste;--what merry companions used one to find squeezed into the +crazy old vehicles that formerly performed the journey! But the age of +horseflesh is gone--that of engineers, economists, and calculators has +succeeded; and the pleasure of coucoudom is extinguished for ever. Why +not mourn over it, as Mr. Burke did over his cheap defence of nations +and unbought grace of life; that age of chivalry, which he lamented, +apropos of a trip to Versailles, some half a century back? + +Without stopping to discuss (as might be done, in rather a neat and +successful manner) whether the age of chivalry was cheap or dear, and +whether, in the time of the unbought grace of life, there was not more +bribery, robbery, villainy, tyranny, and corruption, than exists even in +our own happy days,--let us make a few moral and historical remarks +upon the town of Versailles; where, between railroad and coucou, we are +surely arrived by this time. + +The town is, certainly, the most moral of towns. You pass from the +railroad station through a long, lonely suburb, with dusty rows of +stunted trees on either side, and some few miserable beggars, idle boys, +and ragged old women under them. Behind the trees are gaunt, mouldy +houses; palaces once, where (in the days of the unbought grace of life) +the cheap defence of nations gambled, ogled, swindled, intrigued; whence +high-born duchesses used to issue, in old times, to act as chambermaids +to lovely Du Barri; and mighty princes rolled away, in gilt caroches, +hot for the honor of lighting his Majesty to bed, or of presenting his +stockings when he rose, or of holding his napkin when he dined. Tailors, +chandlers, tinmen, wretched hucksters, and greengrocers, are now +established in the mansions of the old peers; small children are yelling +at the doors, with mouths besmeared with bread and treacle; damp rags +are hanging out of every one of the windows, steaming in the sun; +oyster-shells, cabbage-stalks, broken crockery, old papers, lie basking +in the same cheerful light. A solitary water-cart goes jingling down the +wide pavement, and spirts a feeble refreshment over the dusty, thirsty +stones. + +After pacing for some time through such dismal streets, we deboucher +on the grande place; and before us lies the palace dedicated to all the +glories of France. In the midst of the great lonely plain this famous +residence of King Louis looks low and mean.--Honored pile! Time was when +tall musketeers and gilded body-guards allowed none to pass the gate. +Fifty years ago, ten thousand drunken women from Paris broke through the +charm; and now a tattered commissioner will conduct you through it for a +penny, and lead you up to the sacred entrance of the palace. + +We will not examine all the glories of France, as here they are +portrayed in pictures and marble: catalogues are written about these +miles of canvas, representing all the revolutionary battles, from Valmy +to Waterloo,--all the triumphs of Louis XIV.--all the mistresses of his +successor--and all the great men who have flourished since the French +empire began. Military heroes are most of these--fierce constables in +shining steel, marshals in voluminous wigs, and brave grenadiers in +bearskin caps; some dozens of whom gained crowns, principalities, +dukedoms; some hundreds, plunder and epaulets; some millions, death in +African sands, or in icy Russian plains, under the guidance, and for the +good, of that arch-hero, Napoleon. By far the greater part of "all the +glories" of France (as of most other countries) is made up of these +military men: and a fine satire it is on the cowardice of mankind, that +they pay such an extraordinary homage to the virtue called courage; +filling their history-books with tales about it, and nothing but it. + +Let them disguise the place, however, as they will, and plaster the +walls with bad pictures as they please, it will be hard to think of any +family but one, as one traverses this vast gloomy edifice. It has not +been humbled to the ground, as a certain palace of Babel was of yore; +but it is a monument of fallen pride, not less awful, and would afford +matter for a whole library of sermons. The cheap defence of nations +expended a thousand millions in the erection of this magnificent +dwelling-place. Armies were employed, in the intervals of their warlike +labors, to level hills, or pile them up; to turn rivers, and to build +aqueducts, and transplant woods, and construct smooth terraces, and long +canals. A vast garden grew up in a wilderness, and a stupendous palace +in the garden, and a stately city round the palace: the city was peopled +with parasites, who daily came to do worship before the creator of these +wonders--the Great King. "Dieu seul est grand," said courtly Massillon; +but next to him, as the prelate thought, was certainly Louis, +his vicegerent here upon earth--God's lieutenant-governor of the +world,--before whom courtiers used to fall on their knees, and shade +their eyes, as if the light of his countenance, like the sun, which +shone supreme in heaven, the type of him, was too dazzling to bear. + +Did ever the sun shine upon such a king before, in such a palace?--or, +rather, did such a king ever shine upon the sun? When Majesty came out +of his chamber, in the midst of his superhuman splendors, viz, in his +cinnamon-colored coat, embroidered with diamonds; his pyramid of a wig,* +his red-heeled shoes, that lifted him four inches from the ground, "that +he scarcely seemed to touch;" when he came out, blazing upon the dukes +and duchesses that waited his rising,--what could the latter do, but +cover their eyes, and wink, and tremble? And did he not himself believe, +as he stood there, on his high heels, under his ambrosial periwig, that +there was something in him more than man--something above Fate? + + * It is fine to think that, in the days of his youth, his + Majesty Louis XIV. used to POWDER HIS WIG WITH GOLD-DUST. + +This, doubtless, was he fain to believe; and if, on very fine days, from +his terrace before his gloomy palace of Saint Germains, he could catch +a glimpse, in the distance, of a certain white spire of St. Denis, +where his race lay buried, he would say to his courtiers, with a sublime +condescension, "Gentlemen, you must remember that I, too, am mortal." +Surely the lords in waiting could hardly think him serious, and vowed +that his Majesty always loved a joke. However, mortal or not, the sight +of that sharp spire wounded his Majesty's eyes; and is said, by the +legend, to have caused the building of the palace of Babel-Versailles. + +In the year 1681, then, the great king, with bag and baggage,--with +guards, cooks, chamberlains, mistresses, Jesuits, gentlemen, lackeys, +Fenelons, Molieres, Lauzuns, Bossuets, Villars, Villeroys, Louvois, +Colberts,--transported himself to his new palace: the old one being left +for James of England and Jaquette his wife, when their time should come. +And when the time did come, and James sought his brother's kingdom, +it is on record that Louis hastened to receive and console him, and +promised to restore, incontinently, those islands from which the +canaille had turned him. Between brothers such a gift was a trifle; and +the courtiers said to one another reverently:* "The Lord said unto +my Lord, Sit thou on my right hand, until I make thine enemies thy +footstool." There was no blasphemy in the speech: on the contrary, it +was gravely said, by a faithful believing man, who thought it no shame +to the latter, to compare his Majesty with God Almighty. Indeed, the +books of the time will give one a strong idea how general was this +Louis-worship. I have just been looking at one, which was written by +an honest Jesuit and Protege of Pere la Chaise, who dedicates a book of +medals to the august Infants of France, which does, indeed, go almost +as far in print. He calls our famous monarch "Louis le Grand:--1, +l'invincible; 2, le sage; 3, le conquerant; 4, la merveille de son +siecle; 5, la terreur de ses ennemis; 6, l'amour de ses peuples; 7, +l'arbitre de la paix et de la guerre; 8, l'admiration de l'univers; 9, +et digne d'en etre le maitre; 10, le modele d'un heros acheve; 11, digne +de l'immortalite, et de la veneration de tous les siecles!" + + * I think it is in the amusing "Memoirs of Madame de Crequi" + (a forgery, but a work remarkable for its learning and + accuracy) that the above anecdote is related. + +A pretty Jesuit declaration, truly, and a good honest judgment upon the +great king! In thirty years more--1. The invincible had been beaten a +vast number of times. 2. The sage was the puppet of an artful old woman, +who was the puppet of more artful priests. 3. The conqueror had quite +forgotten his early knack of conquering. 5. The terror of his enemies +(for 4, the marvel of his age, we pretermit, it being a loose term, that +may apply to any person or thing) was now terrified by his enemies in +turn. 6. The love of his people was as heartily detested by them as +scarcely any other monarch, not even his great-grandson, has been, +before or since. 7. The arbiter of peace and war was fain to send superb +ambassadors to kick their heels in Dutch shopkeepers' ante-chambers. 8, +is again a general term. 9. The man fit to be master of the universe, +was scarcely master of his own kingdom. 10. The finished hero was all +but finished, in a very commonplace and vulgar way. And 11. The man +worthy of immortality was just at the point of death, without a friend +to soothe or deplore him; only withered old Maintenon to utter prayers +at his bedside, and croaking Jesuits to prepare him,* with heaven knows +what wretched tricks and mummeries, for his appearance in that Great +Republic that lies on the other side of the grave. In the course of his +fourscore splendid miserable years, he never had but one friend, and he +ruined and left her. Poor La Valliere, what a sad tale is yours! "Look +at this Galerie des Glaces," cries Monsieur Vatout, staggering with +surprise at the appearance of the room, two hundred and forty-two feet +long, and forty high. "Here it was that Louis displayed all the grandeur +of royalty; and such was the splendor of his court, and the luxury of +the times, that this immense room could hardly contain the crowd of +courtiers that pressed around the monarch." Wonderful! wonderful! Eight +thousand four hundred and sixty square feet of courtiers! Give a square +yard to each, and you have a matter of three thousand of them. Think of +three thousand courtiers per day, and all the chopping and changing +of them for near forty years: some of them dying, some getting their +wishes, and retiring to their provinces to enjoy their plunder; some +disgraced, and going home to pine away out of the light of the sun;** +new ones perpetually arriving,--pushing, squeezing, for their place, +in the crowded Galerie des Glaces. A quarter of a million of noble +countenances, at the very least, must those glasses have reflected. +Rouge, diamonds, ribbons, patches, upon the faces of smiling ladies: +towering periwigs, sleek shaven crowns, tufted moustaches, scars, and +grizzled whiskers, worn by ministers, priests, dandies, and grim old +commanders.--So many faces, O ye gods! and every one of them lies! So +many tongues, vowing devotion and respectful love to the great king in +his six-inch wig; and only poor La Valliere's amongst them all which had +a word of truth for the dull ears of Louis of Bourbon. + + * They made a Jesuit of him on his death-bed. + + ** Saint Simon's account of Lauzun, in disgrace, is + admirably facetious and pathetic; Lauzun's regrets are as + monstrous as those of Raleigh when deprived of the sight of + his adorable Queen and Mistress, Elizabeth. + +"Quand j'aurai de la peine aux Carmelites," says unhappy Louise, about +to retire from these magnificent courtiers and their grand Galerie +des Glaces, "je me souviendrai de ce que ces gens la m'ont fait +souffrir!"--A troop of Bossuets inveighing against the vanities of +courts could not preach such an affecting sermon. What years of anguish +and wrong had the poor thing suffered, before these sad words came from +her gentle lips! How these courtiers have bowed and flattered, kissed +the ground on which she trod, fought to have the honor of riding by her +carriage, written sonnets, and called her goddess; who, in the days of +her prosperity, was kind and beneficent, gentle and compassionate to +all; then (on a certain day, when it is whispered that his Majesty +hath cast the eyes of his gracious affection upon another) behold three +thousand courtiers are at the feet of the new divinity.--"O divine +Athenais! what blockheads have we been to worship any but you.--THAT a +goddess?--a pretty goddess forsooth;--a witch, rather, who, for a while, +kept our gracious monarch blind! Look at her: the woman limps as she +walks; and, by sacred Venus, her mouth stretches almost to her diamond +ear-rings?"* The same tale may be told of many more deserted mistresses; +and fair Athenais de Montespan was to hear it of herself one day. +Meantime, while La Valliere's heart is breaking, the model of a finished +hero is yawning; as, on such paltry occasions, a finished hero should. +LET her heart break: a plague upon her tears and repentance; what right +has she to repent? Away with her to her convent. She goes, and the +finished hero never sheds a tear. What a noble pitch of stoicism to have +reached! Our Louis was so great, that the little woes of mean people +were beyond him: his friends died, his mistresses left him; his +children, one by one, were cut off before his eyes, and great Louis +is not moved in the slightest degree! As how, indeed, should a god be +moved? + + * A pair of diamond ear-rings, given by the King to La + Valliere, caused much scandal; and some lampoons are extant, + which impugn the taste of Louis XIV. for loving a lady with + such an enormous mouth. + +I have often liked to think about this strange character in the world, +who moved in it, bearing about a full belief in his own infallibility; +teaching his generals the art of war, his ministers the science of +government, his wits taste, his courtiers dress; ordering deserts to +become gardens, turning villages into palaces at a breath; and indeed +the august figure of the man, as he towers upon his throne, cannot fail +to inspire one with respect and awe:--how grand those flowing locks +appear; how awful that sceptre; how magnificent those flowing robes! In +Louis, surely, if in any one, the majesty of kinghood is represented. + +But a king is not every inch a king, for all the poet may say; and it is +curious to see how much precise majesty there is in that majestic figure +of Ludovicus Rex. In the Frontispiece, we have endeavored to make the +exact calculation. The idea of kingly dignity is equally strong in the +two outer figures; and you see, at once, that majesty is made out of the +wig, the high-heeled shoes, and cloak, all fleurs-de-lis bespangled. As +for the little lean, shrivelled, paunchy old man, of five feet two, in a +jacket and breeches, there is no majesty in HIM at any rate; and yet he +has just stepped out of that very suit of clothes. Put the wig and shoes +on him, and he is six feet high;--the other fripperies, and he stands +before you majestic, imperial, and heroic! Thus do barbers and cobblers +make the gods that we worship: for do we not all worship him? Yes; +though we all know him to be stupid, heartless, short, of doubtful +personal courage, worship and admire him we must; and have set up, in +our hearts, a grand image of him, endowed with wit, magnanimity, valor, +and enormous heroical stature. + +And what magnanimous acts are attributed to him! or, rather, how +differently do we view the actions of heroes and common men, and find +that the same thing shall be a wonderful virtue in the former, which, +in the latter, is only an ordinary act of duty. Look at yonder window of +the king's chamber;--one morning a royal cane was seen whirling out of +it, and plumped among the courtiers and guard of honor below. King Louis +had absolutely, and with his own hand, flung his own cane out of +the window, "because," said he, "I won't demean myself by striking a +gentleman!" O miracle of magnanimity! Lauzun was not caned, because he +besought majesty to keep his promise,--only imprisoned for ten years in +Pignerol, along with banished Fouquet;--and a pretty story is Fouquet's +too. + +Out of the window the king's august head was one day thrust, when old +Conde was painfully toiling up the steps of the court below. "Don't +hurry yourself, my cousin," cries magnanimity, "one who has to carry +so many laurels cannot walk fast." At which all the courtiers, lackeys, +mistresses, chamberlains, Jesuits, and scullions, clasp their hands and +burst into tears. Men are affected by the tale to this very day. For +a century and three-quarters, have not all the books that speak of +Versailles, or Louis Quatorze, told the story?--"Don't hurry +yourself, my cousin!" O admirable king and Christian! what a pitch of +condescension is here, that the greatest king of all the world should go +for to say anything so kind, and really tell a tottering old gentleman, +worn out with gout, age, and wounds, not to walk too fast! + +What a proper fund of slavishness is there in the composition of +mankind, that histories like these should be found to interest and awe +them. Till the world's end, most likely, this story will have its place +in the history-books; and unborn generations will read it, and tenderly +be moved by it. I am sure that Magnanimity went to bed that night, +pleased and happy, intimately convinced that he had done an action of +sublime virtue, and had easy slumbers and sweet dreams,--especially if +he had taken a light supper, and not too vehemently attacked his en cas +de nuit. + +That famous adventure, in which the en cas de nuit was brought into +use, for the sake of one Poquelin alias Moliere;--how often has it been +described and admired? This Poquelin, though king's valet-de-chambre, +was by profession a vagrant; and as such, looked coldly on by the great +lords of the palace, who refused to eat with him. Majesty hearing +of this, ordered his en cas de nuit to be placed on the table, and +positively cut off a wing with his own knife and fork for Poquelin's +use. O thrice happy Jean Baptiste! The king has actually sat down with +him cheek by jowl, had the liver-wing of a fowl, and given Moliere +the gizzard; put his imperial legs under the same mahogany (sub iisdem +trabibus). A man, after such an honor, can look for little else in this +world: he has tasted the utmost conceivable earthly happiness, and has +nothing to do now but to fold his arms, look up to heaven, and sing +"Nunc dimittis" and die. + +Do not let us abuse poor old Louis on account of this monstrous pride; +but only lay it to the charge of the fools who believed and worshipped +it. If, honest man, he believed himself to be almost a god, it was only +because thousands of people had told him so--people only half liars, +too; who did, in the depths of their slavish respect, admire the man +almost as much as they said they did. If, when he appeared in his +five-hundred-million coat, as he is said to have done, before the +Siamese ambassadors, the courtiers began to shade their eyes and long +for parasols, as if this Bourbonic sun was too hot for them; indeed, it +is no wonder that he should believe that there was something dazzling +about his person: he had half a million of eager testimonies to this +idea. Who was to tell him the truth?--Only in the last years of his life +did trembling courtiers dare whisper to him, after much circumlocution, +that a certain battle had been fought at a place called Blenheim, and +that Eugene and Marlborough had stopped his long career of triumphs. + +"On n'est plus heureux a notre age," says the old man, to one of his old +generals, welcoming Tallard after his defeat; and he rewards him +with honors, as if he had come from a victory. There is, if you will, +something magnanimous in this welcome to his conquered general, this +stout protest against Fate. Disaster succeeds disaster; armies after +armies march out to meet fiery Eugene and that dogged, fatal Englishman, +and disappear in the smoke of the enemies' cannon. Even at Versailles +you may almost hear it roaring at last; but when courtiers, who have +forgotten their god, now talk of quitting this grand temple of his, old +Louis plucks up heart and will never hear of surrender. All the gold +and silver at Versailles he melts, to find bread for his armies: all +the jewels on his five-hundred-million coat he pawns resolutely; and, +bidding Villars go and make the last struggle but one, promises, if his +general is defeated, to place himself at the head of his nobles, and +die King of France. Indeed, after a man, for sixty years, has been +performing the part of a hero, some of the real heroic stuff must have +entered into his composition, whether he would or not. When the great +Elliston was enacting the part of King George the Fourth, in the play of +"The Coronation," at Drury Lane, the galleries applauded very loudly +his suavity and majestic demeanor, at which Elliston, inflamed by the +popular loyalty (and by some fermented liquor in which, it is said, he +was in the habit of indulging), burst into tears, and spreading out his +arms, exclaimed: "Bless ye, bless ye, my people!" Don't let us laugh at +his Ellistonian majesty, nor at the people who clapped hands and yelled +"bravo!" in praise of him. The tipsy old manager did really feel that +he was a hero at that moment; and the people, wild with delight and +attachment for a magnificent coat and breeches, surely were uttering +the true sentiments of loyalty: which consists in reverencing these and +other articles of costume. In this fifth act, then, of his long royal +drama, old Louis performed his part excellently; and when the curtain +drops upon him, he lies, dressed majestically, in a becoming kingly +attitude, as a king should. + +The king his successor has not left, at Versailles, half so much +occasion for moralizing; perhaps the neighboring Parc aux Cerfs +would afford better illustrations of his reign. The life of his great +grandsire, the Grand Llama of France, seems to have frightened Louis +the well-beloved; who understood that loneliness is one of the necessary +conditions of divinity, and being of a jovial, companionable turn, +aspired not beyond manhood. Only in the matter of ladies did he +surpass his predecessor, as Solomon did David. War he eschewed, as his +grandfather bade him; and his simple taste found little in this world to +enjoy beyond the mulling of chocolate and the frying of pancakes. Look, +here is the room called Laboratoire du Roi, where, with his own hands, +he made his mistress's breakfast:--here is the little door through +which, from her apartments in the upper story, the chaste Du Barri came +stealing down to the arms of the weary, feeble, gloomy old man. But of +women he was tired long since, and even pancake-frying had palled +upon him. What had he to do, after forty years of reign;--after having +exhausted everything? Every pleasure that Dubois could invent for his +hot youth, or cunning Lebel could minister to his old age, was flat and +stale; used up to the very dregs: every shilling in the national purse +had been squeezed out, by Pompadour and Du Barri and such brilliant +ministers of state. He had found out the vanity of pleasure, as his +ancestor had discovered the vanity of glory: indeed it was high time +that he should die. And die he did; and round his tomb, as round that of +his grandfather before him, the starving people sang a dreadful chorus +of curses, which were the only epitaphs for good or for evil that were +raised to his memory. + +As for the courtiers--the knights and nobles, the unbought grace of +life--they, of course, forgot him in one minute after his death, as +the way is. When the king dies, the officer appointed opens his chamber +window, and calling out into the court below, Le Roi est mort, +breaks his cane, takes another and waves it, exclaiming, vive le Roi! +Straightway all the loyal nobles begin yelling vive le Roi! and the +officer goes round solemnly and sets yonder great clock in the Cour +de Marbre to the hour of the king's death. This old Louis had solemnly +ordained; but the Versailles clock was only set twice: there was no +shouting of Vive le Roi when the successor of Louis XV. mounted to +heaven to join his sainted family. + +Strange stories of the deaths of kings have always been very recreating +and profitable to us: what a fine one is that of the death of Louis XV., +as Madame Campan tells it. One night the gracious monarch came back ill +from Trianon; the disease turned out to be the small-pox; so violent +that ten people of those who had to enter his chamber caught the +infection and died. The whole court flies from him; only poor old fat +Mesdames the King's daughters persist in remaining at his bedside, and +praying for his soul's welfare. + +On the 10th May, 1774, the whole court had assembled at the chateau; the +oeil de Boeuf was full. The Dauphin had determined to depart as soon as +the king had breathed his last. And it was agreed by the people of +the stables, with those who watched in the king's room, that a lighted +candle should be placed in a window, and should be extinguished as +soon as he had ceased to live. The candle was put out. At that signal, +guards, pages, and squires mounted on horseback, and everything was +made ready for departure. The Dauphin was with the Dauphiness, waiting +together for the news of the king's demise. AN IMMENSE NOISE, AS IF OF +THUNDER, WAS HEARD IN THE NEXT ROOM; it was the crowd of courtiers, who +were deserting the dead king's apartment, in order to pay their court +to the new power of Louis XVI. Madame de Noailles entered, and was the +first to salute the queen by her title of Queen of France, and begged +their Majesties to quit their apartments, to receive the princes +and great lords of the court desirous to pay their homage to the new +sovereigns. Leaning on her husband's arm, a handkerchief to her eyes, +in the most touching attitude, Marie Antoinette received these first +visits. On quitting the chamber where the dead king lay, the Duc de +Villequier bade M. Anderville, first surgeon of the king, to open and +embalm the body: it would have been certain death to the surgeon. "I am +ready, sir," said he; "but whilst I am operating, you must hold the head +of the corpse: your charge demands it." The Duke went away without +a word, and the body was neither opened nor embalmed. A few humble +domestics and poor workmen watched by the remains, and performed the +last offices to their master. The surgeons ordered spirits of wine to be +poured into the coffin. + +They huddled the king's body into a post-chaise; and in this deplorable +equipage, with an escort of about forty men, Louis the well-beloved was +carried, in the dead of night, from Versailles to St. Denis, and then +thrown into the tomb of the kings of France! + +If any man is curious, and can get permission, he may mount to the roof +of the palace, and see where Louis XVI. used royally to amuse himself, +by gazing upon the doings of all the townspeople below with a telescope. +Behold that balcony, where, one morning, he, his queen, and the little +Dauphin stood, with Cromwell Grandison Lafayette by their side, who +kissed her Majesty's hand, and protected her; and then, lovingly +surrounded by his people, the king got into a coach and came to Paris: +nor did his Majesty ride much in coaches after that. + +There is a portrait of the king, in the upper galleries, clothed in red +and gold, riding a fat horse, brandishing a sword, on which the word +"Justice" is inscribed, and looking remarkably stupid and uncomfortable. +You see that the horse will throw him at the very first fling; and as +for the sword, it never was made for such hands as his, which were +good at holding a corkscrew or a carving-knife, but not clever at the +management of weapons of war. Let those pity him who will: call him +saint and martyr if you please; but a martyr to what principle was he? +Did he frankly support either party in his kingdom, or cheat and tamper +with both? He might have escaped; but he must have his supper: and so +his family was butchered and his kingdom lost, and he had his bottle of +Burgundy in comfort at Varennes. A single charge upon the fatal 10th +of August, and the monarchy might have been his once more; but he is +so tender-hearted, that he lets his friends be murdered before his eyes +almost: or, at least, when he has turned his back upon his duty and +his kingdom, and has skulked for safety into the reporters' box, at the +National Assembly. There were hundreds of brave men who died that day, +and were martyrs, if you will; poor neglected tenth-rate courtiers, for +the most part, who had forgotten old slights and disappointments, and +left their places of safety to come and die, if need were, sharing in +the supreme hour of the monarchy. Monarchy was a great deal too humane +to fight along with these, and so left them to the pikes of Santerre and +the mercy of the men of the Sections. But we are wandering a good ten +miles from Versailles, and from the deeds which Louis XVI. performed +there. + +He is said to have been such a smart journeyman blacksmith, that he +might, if Fate had not perversely placed a crown on his head, have +earned a couple of louis every week by the making of locks and keys. +Those who will may see the workshop where he employed many useful hours: +Madame Elizabeth was at prayers meanwhile; the queen was making pleasant +parties with her ladies. Monsieur the Count d'Artois was learning +to dance on the tight-rope; and Monsieur de Provence was cultivating +l'eloquence du billet and studying his favorite Horace. It is said that +each member of the august family succeeded remarkably well in his or her +pursuits; big Monsieur's little notes are still cited. At a minuet +or syllabub, poor Antoinette was unrivalled; and Charles, on the +tight-rope, was so graceful and so gentil, that Madame Saqui might envy +him. The time only was out of joint. O cursed spite, that ever such +harmless creatures as these were bidden to right it! + +A walk to the little Trianon is both pleasing and moral: no doubt the +reader has seen the pretty fantastical gardens which environ it; the +groves and temples; the streams and caverns (whither, as the guide tells +you, during the heat of summer, it was the custom of Marie Antoinette +to retire, with her favorite, Madame de Lamballe): the lake and Swiss +village are pretty little toys, moreover; and the cicerone of the place +does not fail to point out the different cottages which surround +the piece of water, and tell the names of the royal masqueraders who +inhabited each. In the long cottage, close upon the lake, dwelt the +Seigneur du Village, no less a personage than Louis XV.; Louis XVI., +the Dauphin, was the Bailli; near his cottage is that of Monseigneur the +Count d'Artois, who was the Miller; opposite lived the Prince de Conde, +who enacted the part of Gamekeeper (or, indeed, any other role, for it +does not signify much); near him was the Prince de Rohan, who was the +Aumonier; and yonder is the pretty little dairy, which was under the +charge of the fair Marie Antoinette herself. + +I forget whether Monsieur the fat Count of Provence took any share of +this royal masquerading; but look at the names of the other six actors +of the comedy, and it will be hard to find any person for whom Fate +had such dreadful visitations in store. Fancy the party, in the days of +their prosperity, here gathered at Trianon, and seated under the tall +poplars by the lake, discoursing familiarly together: suppose of a +sudden some conjuring Cagliostro of the time is introduced among them, +and foretells to them the woes that are about to come. "You, Monsieur +l'Aumonier, the descendant of a long line of princes, the passionate +admirer of that fair queen who sits by your side, shall be the cause of +her ruin and your own,* and shall die in disgrace and exile. You, son +of the Condes, shall live long enough to see your royal race overthrown, +and shall die by the hands of a hangman.** You, oldest son of Saint +Louis, shall perish by the executioner's axe; that beautiful head, O +Antoinette, the same ruthless blade shall sever." "They shall kill me +first," says Lamballe, at the queen's side. "Yes, truly," replies the +soothsayer, "for Fate prescribes ruin for your mistress and all who love +her."*** "And," cries Monsieur d'Artois, "do I not love my sister, too? +I pray you not to omit me in your prophecies." + + * In the diamond-necklace affair. + + ** He was found hanging in his own bedroom. + + *** Among the many lovers that rumor gave to the queen, poor + Ferscu is the most remarkable. He seems to have entertained + for her a high and perfectly pure devotion. He was the chief + agent in the luckless escape to Varennes; was lurking in + Paris during the time of her captivity; and was concerned in + the many fruitless plots that were made for her rescue. + Ferscu lived to be an old man, but died a dreadful and + violent death. He was dragged from his carriage by the mob, + in Stockholm, and murdered by them. + +To whom Monsieur Cagliostro says, scornfully, "You may look forward +to fifty years of life, after most of these are laid in the grave. You +shall be a king, but not die one; and shall leave the crown only; not +the worthless head that shall wear it. Thrice shall you go into exile: +you shall fly from the people, first, who would have no more of you +and your race; and you shall return home over half a million of human +corpses, that have been made for the sake of you, and of a tyrant as +great as the greatest of your family. Again driven away, your bitterest +enemy shall bring you back. But the strong limbs of France are not to +be chained by such a paltry yoke as you can put on her: you shall be a +tyrant, but in will only; and shall have a sceptre, but to see it robbed +from your hand." + +"And pray, Sir Conjurer, who shall be the robber?" asked Monsieur the +Count d'Artois. + + +This I cannot say, for here my dream ended. The fact is, I had fallen +asleep on one of the stone benches in the Avenue de Paris, and at this +instant was awakened by a whirling of carriages and a great clattering +of national guards, lancers and outriders, in red. His MAJESTY LOUIS +PHILIPPE was going to pay a visit to the palace; which contains several +pictures of his own glorious actions, and which has been dedicated, by +him, to all the glories of France. + + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of The Paris Sketch Book Of Mr. M. A. +Titmarsh, by William Makepeace Thackeray + +*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK PARIS SKETCH BOOK *** + +***** This file should be named 2768.txt or 2768.zip ***** +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: + http://www.gutenberg.org/2/7/6/2768/ + +Produced by Donald Lainson + +Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions +will be renamed. + +Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no +one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation +(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without +permission and without paying copyright royalties. Special rules, +set forth in the General Terms of Use part of this license, apply to +copying and distributing Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works to +protect the PROJECT GUTENBERG-tm concept and trademark. Project +Gutenberg is a registered trademark, and may not be used if you +charge for the eBooks, unless you receive specific permission. If you +do not charge anything for copies of this eBook, complying with the +rules is very easy. You may use this eBook for nearly any purpose +such as creation of derivative works, reports, performances and +research. They may be modified and printed and given away--you may do +practically ANYTHING with public domain eBooks. Redistribution is +subject to the trademark license, especially commercial +redistribution. + + + +*** START: FULL LICENSE *** + +THE FULL PROJECT GUTENBERG LICENSE +PLEASE READ THIS BEFORE YOU DISTRIBUTE OR USE THIS WORK + +To protect the Project Gutenberg-tm mission of promoting the free +distribution of electronic works, by using or distributing this work +(or any other work associated in any way with the phrase "Project +Gutenberg"), you agree to comply with all the terms of the Full Project +Gutenberg-tm License (available with this file or online at +http://gutenberg.org/license). + + +Section 1. General Terms of Use and Redistributing Project Gutenberg-tm +electronic works + +1.A. By reading or using any part of this Project Gutenberg-tm +electronic work, you indicate that you have read, understand, agree to +and accept all the terms of this license and intellectual property +(trademark/copyright) agreement. If you do not agree to abide by all +the terms of this agreement, you must cease using and return or destroy +all copies of Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works in your possession. +If you paid a fee for obtaining a copy of or access to a Project +Gutenberg-tm electronic work and you do not agree to be bound by the +terms of this agreement, you may obtain a refund from the person or +entity to whom you paid the fee as set forth in paragraph 1.E.8. + +1.B. "Project Gutenberg" is a registered trademark. It may only be +used on or associated in any way with an electronic work by people who +agree to be bound by the terms of this agreement. There are a few +things that you can do with most Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works +even without complying with the full terms of this agreement. See +paragraph 1.C below. There are a lot of things you can do with Project +Gutenberg-tm electronic works if you follow the terms of this agreement +and help preserve free future access to Project Gutenberg-tm electronic +works. See paragraph 1.E below. + +1.C. The Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation ("the Foundation" +or PGLAF), owns a compilation copyright in the collection of Project +Gutenberg-tm electronic works. Nearly all the individual works in the +collection are in the public domain in the United States. If an +individual work is in the public domain in the United States and you are +located in the United States, we do not claim a right to prevent you from +copying, distributing, performing, displaying or creating derivative +works based on the work as long as all references to Project Gutenberg +are removed. Of course, we hope that you will support the Project +Gutenberg-tm mission of promoting free access to electronic works by +freely sharing Project Gutenberg-tm works in compliance with the terms of +this agreement for keeping the Project Gutenberg-tm name associated with +the work. You can easily comply with the terms of this agreement by +keeping this work in the same format with its attached full Project +Gutenberg-tm License when you share it without charge with others. + +1.D. The copyright laws of the place where you are located also govern +what you can do with this work. Copyright laws in most countries are in +a constant state of change. If you are outside the United States, check +the laws of your country in addition to the terms of this agreement +before downloading, copying, displaying, performing, distributing or +creating derivative works based on this work or any other Project +Gutenberg-tm work. The Foundation makes no representations concerning +the copyright status of any work in any country outside the United +States. + +1.E. Unless you have removed all references to Project Gutenberg: + +1.E.1. The following sentence, with active links to, or other immediate +access to, the full Project Gutenberg-tm License must appear prominently +whenever any copy of a Project Gutenberg-tm work (any work on which the +phrase "Project Gutenberg" appears, or with which the phrase "Project +Gutenberg" is associated) is accessed, displayed, performed, viewed, +copied or distributed: + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + +1.E.2. If an individual Project Gutenberg-tm electronic work is derived +from the public domain (does not contain a notice indicating that it is +posted with permission of the copyright holder), the work can be copied +and distributed to anyone in the United States without paying any fees +or charges. If you are redistributing or providing access to a work +with the phrase "Project Gutenberg" associated with or appearing on the +work, you must comply either with the requirements of paragraphs 1.E.1 +through 1.E.7 or obtain permission for the use of the work and the +Project Gutenberg-tm trademark as set forth in paragraphs 1.E.8 or +1.E.9. + +1.E.3. If an individual Project Gutenberg-tm electronic work is posted +with the permission of the copyright holder, your use and distribution +must comply with both paragraphs 1.E.1 through 1.E.7 and any additional +terms imposed by the copyright holder. Additional terms will be linked +to the Project Gutenberg-tm License for all works posted with the +permission of the copyright holder found at the beginning of this work. + +1.E.4. Do not unlink or detach or remove the full Project Gutenberg-tm +License terms from this work, or any files containing a part of this +work or any other work associated with Project Gutenberg-tm. + +1.E.5. Do not copy, display, perform, distribute or redistribute this +electronic work, or any part of this electronic work, without +prominently displaying the sentence set forth in paragraph 1.E.1 with +active links or immediate access to the full terms of the Project +Gutenberg-tm License. + +1.E.6. You may convert to and distribute this work in any binary, +compressed, marked up, nonproprietary or proprietary form, including any +word processing or hypertext form. However, if you provide access to or +distribute copies of a Project Gutenberg-tm work in a format other than +"Plain Vanilla ASCII" or other format used in the official version +posted on the official Project Gutenberg-tm web site (www.gutenberg.org), +you must, at no additional cost, fee or expense to the user, provide a +copy, a means of exporting a copy, or a means of obtaining a copy upon +request, of the work in its original "Plain Vanilla ASCII" or other +form. Any alternate format must include the full Project Gutenberg-tm +License as specified in paragraph 1.E.1. + +1.E.7. Do not charge a fee for access to, viewing, displaying, +performing, copying or distributing any Project Gutenberg-tm works +unless you comply with paragraph 1.E.8 or 1.E.9. + +1.E.8. You may charge a reasonable fee for copies of or providing +access to or distributing Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works provided +that + +- You pay a royalty fee of 20% of the gross profits you derive from + the use of Project Gutenberg-tm works calculated using the method + you already use to calculate your applicable taxes. The fee is + owed to the owner of the Project Gutenberg-tm trademark, but he + has agreed to donate royalties under this paragraph to the + Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation. Royalty payments + must be paid within 60 days following each date on which you + prepare (or are legally required to prepare) your periodic tax + returns. Royalty payments should be clearly marked as such and + sent to the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation at the + address specified in Section 4, "Information about donations to + the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation." + +- You provide a full refund of any money paid by a user who notifies + you in writing (or by e-mail) within 30 days of receipt that s/he + does not agree to the terms of the full Project Gutenberg-tm + License. You must require such a user to return or + destroy all copies of the works possessed in a physical medium + and discontinue all use of and all access to other copies of + Project Gutenberg-tm works. + +- You provide, in accordance with paragraph 1.F.3, a full refund of any + money paid for a work or a replacement copy, if a defect in the + electronic work is discovered and reported to you within 90 days + of receipt of the work. + +- You comply with all other terms of this agreement for free + distribution of Project Gutenberg-tm works. + +1.E.9. If you wish to charge a fee or distribute a Project Gutenberg-tm +electronic work or group of works on different terms than are set +forth in this agreement, you must obtain permission in writing from +both the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation and Michael +Hart, the owner of the Project Gutenberg-tm trademark. Contact the +Foundation as set forth in Section 3 below. + +1.F. + +1.F.1. Project Gutenberg volunteers and employees expend considerable +effort to identify, do copyright research on, transcribe and proofread +public domain works in creating the Project Gutenberg-tm +collection. Despite these efforts, Project Gutenberg-tm electronic +works, and the medium on which they may be stored, may contain +"Defects," such as, but not limited to, incomplete, inaccurate or +corrupt data, transcription errors, a copyright or other intellectual +property infringement, a defective or damaged disk or other medium, a +computer virus, or computer codes that damage or cannot be read by +your equipment. + +1.F.2. LIMITED WARRANTY, DISCLAIMER OF DAMAGES - Except for the "Right +of Replacement or Refund" described in paragraph 1.F.3, the Project +Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation, the owner of the Project +Gutenberg-tm trademark, and any other party distributing a Project +Gutenberg-tm electronic work under this agreement, disclaim all +liability to you for damages, costs and expenses, including legal +fees. YOU AGREE THAT YOU HAVE NO REMEDIES FOR NEGLIGENCE, STRICT +LIABILITY, BREACH OF WARRANTY OR BREACH OF CONTRACT EXCEPT THOSE +PROVIDED IN PARAGRAPH F3. YOU AGREE THAT THE FOUNDATION, THE +TRADEMARK OWNER, AND ANY DISTRIBUTOR UNDER THIS AGREEMENT WILL NOT BE +LIABLE TO YOU FOR ACTUAL, DIRECT, INDIRECT, CONSEQUENTIAL, PUNITIVE OR +INCIDENTAL DAMAGES EVEN IF YOU GIVE NOTICE OF THE POSSIBILITY OF SUCH +DAMAGE. + +1.F.3. LIMITED RIGHT OF REPLACEMENT OR REFUND - If you discover a +defect in this electronic work within 90 days of receiving it, you can +receive a refund of the money (if any) you paid for it by sending a +written explanation to the person you received the work from. If you +received the work on a physical medium, you must return the medium with +your written explanation. The person or entity that provided you with +the defective work may elect to provide a replacement copy in lieu of a +refund. If you received the work electronically, the person or entity +providing it to you may choose to give you a second opportunity to +receive the work electronically in lieu of a refund. If the second copy +is also defective, you may demand a refund in writing without further +opportunities to fix the problem. + +1.F.4. Except for the limited right of replacement or refund set forth +in paragraph 1.F.3, this work is provided to you 'AS-IS' WITH NO OTHER +WARRANTIES OF ANY KIND, EXPRESS OR IMPLIED, INCLUDING BUT NOT LIMITED TO +WARRANTIES OF MERCHANTIBILITY OR FITNESS FOR ANY PURPOSE. + +1.F.5. Some states do not allow disclaimers of certain implied +warranties or the exclusion or limitation of certain types of damages. +If any disclaimer or limitation set forth in this agreement violates the +law of the state applicable to this agreement, the agreement shall be +interpreted to make the maximum disclaimer or limitation permitted by +the applicable state law. The invalidity or unenforceability of any +provision of this agreement shall not void the remaining provisions. + +1.F.6. INDEMNITY - You agree to indemnify and hold the Foundation, the +trademark owner, any agent or employee of the Foundation, anyone +providing copies of Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works in accordance +with this agreement, and any volunteers associated with the production, +promotion and distribution of Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works, +harmless from all liability, costs and expenses, including legal fees, +that arise directly or indirectly from any of the following which you do +or cause to occur: (a) distribution of this or any Project Gutenberg-tm +work, (b) alteration, modification, or additions or deletions to any +Project Gutenberg-tm work, and (c) any Defect you cause. + + +Section 2. Information about the Mission of Project Gutenberg-tm + +Project Gutenberg-tm is synonymous with the free distribution of +electronic works in formats readable by the widest variety of computers +including obsolete, old, middle-aged and new computers. It exists +because of the efforts of hundreds of volunteers and donations from +people in all walks of life. + +Volunteers and financial support to provide volunteers with the +assistance they need, is critical to reaching Project Gutenberg-tm's +goals and ensuring that the Project Gutenberg-tm collection will +remain freely available for generations to come. In 2001, the Project +Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation was created to provide a secure +and permanent future for Project Gutenberg-tm and future generations. +To learn more about the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation +and how your efforts and donations can help, see Sections 3 and 4 +and the Foundation web page at http://www.pglaf.org. + + +Section 3. Information about the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive +Foundation + +The Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation is a non profit +501(c)(3) educational corporation organized under the laws of the +state of Mississippi and granted tax exempt status by the Internal +Revenue Service. The Foundation's EIN or federal tax identification +number is 64-6221541. Its 501(c)(3) letter is posted at +http://pglaf.org/fundraising. Contributions to the Project Gutenberg +Literary Archive Foundation are tax deductible to the full extent +permitted by U.S. federal laws and your state's laws. + +The Foundation's principal office is located at 4557 Melan Dr. S. +Fairbanks, AK, 99712., but its volunteers and employees are scattered +throughout numerous locations. Its business office is located at +809 North 1500 West, Salt Lake City, UT 84116, (801) 596-1887, email +business@pglaf.org. Email contact links and up to date contact +information can be found at the Foundation's web site and official +page at http://pglaf.org + +For additional contact information: + Dr. Gregory B. Newby + Chief Executive and Director + gbnewby@pglaf.org + + +Section 4. Information about Donations to the Project Gutenberg +Literary Archive Foundation + +Project Gutenberg-tm depends upon and cannot survive without wide +spread public support and donations to carry out its mission of +increasing the number of public domain and licensed works that can be +freely distributed in machine readable form accessible by the widest +array of equipment including outdated equipment. Many small donations +($1 to $5,000) are particularly important to maintaining tax exempt +status with the IRS. + +The Foundation is committed to complying with the laws regulating +charities and charitable donations in all 50 states of the United +States. Compliance requirements are not uniform and it takes a +considerable effort, much paperwork and many fees to meet and keep up +with these requirements. We do not solicit donations in locations +where we have not received written confirmation of compliance. To +SEND DONATIONS or determine the status of compliance for any +particular state visit http://pglaf.org + +While we cannot and do not solicit contributions from states where we +have not met the solicitation requirements, we know of no prohibition +against accepting unsolicited donations from donors in such states who +approach us with offers to donate. + +International donations are gratefully accepted, but we cannot make +any statements concerning tax treatment of donations received from +outside the United States. U.S. laws alone swamp our small staff. + +Please check the Project Gutenberg Web pages for current donation +methods and addresses. Donations are accepted in a number of other +ways including checks, online payments and credit card donations. +To donate, please visit: http://pglaf.org/donate + + +Section 5. General Information About Project Gutenberg-tm electronic +works. + +Professor Michael S. Hart is the originator of the Project Gutenberg-tm +concept of a library of electronic works that could be freely shared +with anyone. For thirty years, he produced and distributed Project +Gutenberg-tm eBooks with only a loose network of volunteer support. + + +Project Gutenberg-tm eBooks are often created from several printed +editions, all of which are confirmed as Public Domain in the U.S. +unless a copyright notice is included. Thus, we do not necessarily +keep eBooks in compliance with any particular paper edition. + + +Most people start at our Web site which has the main PG search facility: + + http://www.gutenberg.org + +This Web site includes information about Project Gutenberg-tm, +including how to make donations to the Project Gutenberg Literary +Archive Foundation, how to help produce our new eBooks, and how to +subscribe to our email newsletter to hear about new eBooks. |