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diff --git a/27234.txt b/27234.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..9b5e3e3 --- /dev/null +++ b/27234.txt @@ -0,0 +1,2455 @@ +The Project Gutenberg eBook, My Father as I Recall Him, by Mamie Dickens + + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + + + + +Title: My Father as I Recall Him + + +Author: Mamie Dickens + + + +Release Date: November 11, 2008 [eBook #27234] + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ISO-646-US (US-ASCII) + + +***START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK MY FATHER AS I RECALL HIM*** + + +Transcribed from the Roxburghe Press edition by David Price, +ccx074@pglaf.org + + [Picture: Cover of book] + + [Picture: Charles Dickens] + +The pages of this little book were in type and about to be sent for +correction to my sister--who had been for some months in very delicate +health--when she suddenly became still more gravely ill. The hand which +had traced the words of love and veneration dedicated to our father's +memory grew too feeble to hold a pen, and before the proofs of her little +volume could be submitted to her for revision, my dear sister died. + + K. P. + + [Picture: Mamie Dickens] + + + + + + MY FATHER AS I RECALL HIM. + + + BY + MAMIE DICKENS. + + THE + _ROXBURGHE PRESS_, + FIFTEEN, VICTORIA STREET, + WESTMINSTER. + +THIS WORK, AND ALL THE PUBLICATIONS OF THE ROXBURGHE PRESS, ARE SUPPLIED +TO THE TRADE BY MESSRS. SIMPKIN, MARSHALL, HAMILTON, KENT & COMPANY, +LIMITED, AND CAN BE OBTAINED THROUGH ANY BOOKSELLER. + + + + +CONTENTS. + + PAGE. + +CHAPTER I. 7 + +Seeing "Gad's Hill" as a child.--His domestic side and +home love.--His love of children.--His neatness and +punctuality.--At the table, and as host.--The original +of "Little Nell." + +CHAPTER II. 25 + +Buying Christmas presents.--In the dance.--The merriest +of them all.--As a conjurer.--Christmas at "Gad's +Hill."--Our Christmas dinners.--A New Year's Eve +frolic.--New Year on the Green.--Twelfth Night +festivities. + +CHAPTER III. 46 + +My father at his work.--Rooms in which he wrote.--Love +for his child characters.--Genius for character +drawing.--Nicholas Nickleby.--His writing hours.--His +only amanuensis.--"Pickwick" and "Boz."--Death of Mr. +Thackeray. + +CHAPTER IV. 69 + +Fondness for Athletic Sports.--His love of bathing.--His +study of the raven.--Calling the doctor in.--My father +with our dogs.--The cats of "Gad's Hill."--"Bumble" and +"Mrs. Bouncer."--A strange friendship. + +CHAPTER V. 88 + +Interest in London birds.--Our pet bird +"Dick."--Devotion of his dogs.--Decision to visit +America.--His arrival in New York.--Comments on American +courtesies.--Farewell public appearances. + +CHAPTER VI. 103 + +Last words spoken in public.--A railroad accident in +1865.--At home after his American visit.--"Improvements" +at "Gad's Hill."--At "Gad's Hill" once more.--The +closing day of his life.--Burial at Westminster. + + + + + + +LIST OF ILLUSTRATIONS. + +Charles Dickens Frontispiece + +Mamie Dickens Facing Dedication + +Charles Dickens reading in the garden page 7 + +Mr. Pickwick slides 25 + +Mr. John Leech 28 + +Mr. Pickwick under the Mistletoe 45 + +Mrs. Bouncer 86 + +To Miss Dickens' Pomeranian "Mrs. Bouncer" 86 + +The Empty Chair 101 + +Charles Dickens' Grave 127 + +CHAPTER I. + + +Seeing "Gad's Hill" as a child.--His domestic side and home-love.--His +love of children.--His neatness and punctuality.--At the table, and as +host.--The original of "Little Nell." + + [Picture: Charles Dickens Reading in Garden] + +If, in these pages, written in remembrance of my father, I should tell +you my dear friends, nothing new of him, I can, at least, promise you +that what I shall tell will be told faithfully, if simply, and perhaps +there may be some things not familiar to you. + +A great many writers have taken it upon themselves to write lives of my +father, to tell anecdotes of him, and to print all manner of things about +him. Of all these published books I have read but one, the only genuine +"Life" thus far written of him, the one sanctioned by my father himself, +namely: "The Life of Charles Dickens," by John Forster. + +But in what I write about my father I shall depend chiefly upon my own +memory of him, for I wish no other or dearer remembrance. My love for my +father has never been touched or approached by any other love. I hold +him in my heart of hearts as a man apart from all other men, as one apart +from all other beings. + +Of my father's childhood it is but natural that I should know very little +more than the knowledge possessed by the great public. But I never +remember hearing him allude at any time, or under any circumstances, to +those unhappy days in his life except in the one instance of his childish +love and admiration for "Gad's Hill," which was destined to become so +closely associated with his name and works. + +He had a very strong and faithful attachment for places: Chatham, I +think, being his first love in this respect. For it was here, when a +child, and a very sickly child, poor little fellow, that he found in an +old spare room a store of books, among which were "Roderick Random," +"Peregrine Pickle," "Humphrey Clinker," "Tom Jones," "The Vicar of +Wakefield," "Don Quixote," "Gil Blas," "Robinson Crusoe," "The Arabian +Nights," and other volumes. "They were," as Mr. Forster wrote, "a host +of friends when he had no single friend." And it was while living at +Chatham that he first saw "Gad's Hill." + +As a "very queer small boy" he used to walk up to the house--it stood on +the summit of a high hill--on holidays, or when his heart ached for a +"great treat." He would stand and look at it, for as a little fellow he +had a wonderful liking and admiration for the house, and it was, to him, +like no other house he had ever seen. He would walk up and down before +it with his father, gazing at it with delight, and the latter would tell +him that perhaps if he worked hard, was industrious, and grew up to be a +good man, he might some day come to live in that very house. His love +for this place went through his whole life, and was with him until his +death. He takes "Mr. Pickwick" and his friends from Rochester to Cobham +by the beautiful back road, and I remember one day when we were driving +that way he showed me the exact spot where "Mr. Pickwick" called out: +"Whoa, I have dropped my whip!" After his marriage he took his wife for +the honeymoon to a village called Chalk, between Gravesend and Rochester. + +Many years after, when he was living with his family in a villa near +Lausanne, he wrote to a friend: "The green woods and green shades about +here are more like Cobham, in Kent, than anything we dream of at the foot +of the Alpine passes." And again, in still later years, one of his +favorite walks from "Gad's Hill" was to a village called Shorne, where +there was a quaint old church and graveyard. He often said that he would +like to be buried there, the peace and quiet of the homely little place +having a tender fascination for him. So we see that his heart was always +in Kent. + +But let this single reference to his earlier years suffice, so that I may +write of him during those years when I remember him among us and around +us in our home. + +From his earliest childhood, throughout his earliest married life to the +day of his death, his nature was home-loving. He was a "home man" in +every respect. When he became celebrated at a very early age, as we +know, all his joys and sorrows were taken home; and he found there +sympathy and the companionship of his "own familiar friends." In his +letters to these latter, in his letters to my mother, to my aunt, and, +later on, to us his children, he never forgot anything that he knew would +be of interest about his work, his successes, his hopes or fears. And +there was a sweet simplicity in his belief that such news would most +certainly be acceptable to all, that is wonderfully touching and +child-like coming from a man of genius. + +His care and thoughtfulness about home matters, nothing being deemed too +small or trivial to claim his attention and consideration, were really +marvellous when we remember his active, eager, restless, working brain. +No man was so inclined naturally to derive his happiness from home +affairs. He was full of the kind of interest in a house which is +commonly confined to women, and his care of and for us as wee children +did most certainly "pass the love of women!" His was a tender and most +affectionate nature. + +For many consecutive summers we used to be taken to Broadstairs. This +little place became a great favorite with my father. He was always very +happy there, and delighted in wandering about the garden of his house, +generally accompanied by one or other of his children. In later years, +at Boulogne, he would often have his youngest boy, "The Noble Plorn," +trotting by his side. These two were constant companions in those days, +and after these walks my father would always have some funny anecdote to +tell us. And when years later the time came for the boy of his heart to +go out into the world, my father, after seeing him off, wrote: "Poor +Plorn has gone to Australia. It was a hard parting at the last. He +seemed to become once more my youngest and favorite little child as the +day drew near, and I did not think I could have been so shaken. These +are hard, hard things, but they might have to be done without means or +influence, and then they would be far harder. God bless him!" + +When my father was arranging and rehearsing his readings from "Dombey," +the death of "little Paul" caused him such real anguish, the reading +being so difficult to him, that he told us he could only master his +intense emotion by keeping the picture of Plorn, well, strong and hearty, +steadily before his eyes. We can see by the different child characters +in his books what a wonderful knowledge he had of children, and what a +wonderful and truly womanly sympathy he had with them in all their +childish joys and griefs. I can remember with us, his own children, how +kind, considerate and patient he always was. But we were never afraid to +go to him in any trouble, and never had a snub from him or a cross word +under any circumstances. He was always glad to give us "treats," as he +called them, and used to conceive all manner of those "treats" for us, +and if any favor had to be asked we were always sure of a favorable +answer. On these occasions my sister "Katie" was generally our +messenger, we others waiting outside the study door to hear the verdict. +She and I used to have delightful treats in those summer evenings, +driving up to Hampstead in the open carriage with him, our mother, and +"Auntie," {15} and getting out for a long walk through the lovely country +lanes, picking wild roses and other flowers, or walking hand in hand with +him listening to some story. + +There never existed, I think, in all the world, a more thoroughly tidy or +methodical creature than was my father. He was tidy in every way--in his +mind, in his handsome and graceful person, in his work, in keeping his +writing table drawers, in his large correspondence, in fact in his whole +life. + +I remember that my sister and I occupied a little garret room in +Devonshire Terrace, at the very top of the house. He had taken the +greatest pains and care to make the room as pretty and comfortable for +his two little daughters as it could be made. He was often dragged up +the steep staircase to this room to see some new print or some new +ornament which we children had put up, and he always gave us words of +praise and approval. He encouraged us in every possible way to make +ourselves useful, and to adorn and beautify our rooms with our own hands, +and to be ever tidy and neat. I remember that the adornment of this +garret was decidedly primitive, the unframed prints being fastened to the +wall by ordinary black or white pins, whichever we could get. But, never +mind, if they were put up neatly and tidily they were always "excellent," +or "quite slap-up" as he used to say. Even in those early days, he made +a point of visiting every room in the house once each morning, and if a +chair was out of its place, or a blind not quite straight, or a crumb +left on the floor, woe betide the offender. + +And then his punctuality! It was almost frightful to an unpunctual mind! +This again was another phase of his extreme tidiness; it was also the +outcome of his excessive thoughtfulness and consideration for others. +His sympathy, also, with all pain and suffering made him quite invaluable +in a sick room. Quick, active, sensible, bright and cheery, and +sympathetic to a degree, he would seize the "case" at once, know exactly +what to do and do it. In all our childish ailments his visits were +eagerly looked forward to; and our little hearts would beat a shade +faster, and our aches and pains become more bearable, when the sound of +his quick footstep was heard, and the encouraging accents of his voice +greeted the invalid. I can remember now, as if it were yesterday, how +the touch of his hand--he had a most sympathetic touch--was almost too +much sometimes, the help and hope in it making my heart full to +overflowing. He believed firmly in the power of mesmerism, as a remedy +in some forms of illness, and was himself a mesmerist of no mean order; I +know of many cases, my own among the number, in which he used his power +in this way with perfect success. + +And however busy he might be, and even in his hours of relaxation, he was +still, if you can understand me, always busy; he would give up any amount +of time and spare himself no fatigue if he could in any way alleviate +sickness and pain. + +In very many of my father's books there are frequent references to +delicious meals, wonderful dinners and more marvellous dishes, steaming +bowls of punch, etc, which have led many to believe that he was a man +very fond of the table. And yet I think no more abstemious man ever +lived. + +In the "Gad's Hill" days, when the house was full of visitors, he had a +peculiar notion of always having the menu for the day's dinner placed on +the sideboard at luncheon time. And then he would discuss every item in +his fanciful, humorous way with his guests, much to this effect: +"Cock-a-leekie? Good, decidedly good; fried soles with shrimp sauce? +Good again; croquettes of chicken? Weak, very weak; decided want of +imagination here," and so on, and he would apparently be so taken up with +the merits or demerits of a menu that one might imagine he lived for +nothing but the coming dinner. He had a small but healthy appetite, but +was remarkably abstemious both in eating and drinking. + +He was delightful as a host, caring individually for each guest, and +bringing the special qualities of each into full notice and prominence, +putting the very shyest at his or her ease, making the best of the most +humdrum, and never thrusting himself forward. + +But when he was most delightful, was alone with us at home and sitting +over dessert, and when my sister was with us especially--I am talking now +of our grownup days--for she had great power in "drawing him out." At +such times although he might sit down to dinner in a grave or abstracted +mood, he would, invariably, soon throw aside his silence and end by +delighting us all with his genial talk and his quaint fancies about +people and things. He was always, as I have said, much interested in +mesmerism, and the curious influence exercised by one personality over +another. One illustration I remember his using was, that meeting someone +in the busy London streets, he was on the point of turning back to accost +the supposed friend, when finding out his mistake in time he walked on +again until he actually met the real friend, whose shadow, as it were, +but a moment ago had come across his path. + +And then the forgetting of a word or a name. "Now into what pigeon-hole +of my brain did that go, and why do I suddenly remember it now?" And as +these thoughts passed through his mind and were spoken dreamily, so they +also appeared in his face. Another instant, perhaps, and his eyes would +be full of fun and laughter. + +At the beginning of his literary career he suffered a great sorrow in the +death--a very sudden death--of my mother's sister, Mary Hogarth. She was +of a most charming and lovable disposition, as well as being personally +very beautiful. Soon after my parents married, Aunt Mary was constantly +with them. As her nature developed she became my father's ideal of what +a young girl should be. And his own words show how this great affection +and the influence of the girl's loved memory were with him to the end of +his life. The shock of her sudden death so affected and prostrated him +that the publication of "Pickwick" was interrupted for two months. + +"I look back," he wrote, "and with unmingled pleasure, to every link +which each ensuing week has added to the chain of our attachment. It +shall go hard I hope ere anything but death impairs the toughness of a +bond now so firmly riveted. That beautiful passage you were so kind and +considerate as to send to me has given me the only feeling akin to +pleasure, sorrowful pleasure it is, that I have yet had connected with +the loss of my dear young friend and companion, for whom my love and +attachment will never diminish, and by whose side, if it please God to +leave me in possession of sense to signify my wishes, my bones whenever +or wherever I die, will one day be laid." + +She was buried in Kensal Green Cemetery, and her grave bears the +following inscription, written by my father: + +"Young, beautiful, and good, God in His mercy numbered her among His +angels at the early age of seventeen." + +A year after her death, in writing to my mother from Yorkshire, he says: +"Is it not extraordinary that the same dreams which have constantly +visited me since poor Mary died follow me everywhere? After all the +change of scene and fatigue I have dreamt of her ever since I left home, +and no doubt shall until I return. I would fain believe, sometimes, that +her spirit may have some influence over them, but their perpetual +repetition is extraordinary." + +In the course of years there came changes in our home, inevitable +changes. But no changes could ever alter my father's home-loving nature. +As he wrote to Mr. Forster, as a young man, so it was with him to the +time of his death: "We shall soon meet, please God, and be happier than +ever we were in all our lives. Oh! home--home--home!!!" + + + + +CHAPTER II. + + +Buying Christmas presents.--In the dance.--The merriest of them all.--As +a conjurer.--Christmas at "Gad's Hill."--Our Christmas dinners.--A New +Year's Eve frolic.--New Year on the Green.--Twelfth Night festivities. + + [Picture: Mr. Pickwick slides] + +Christmas was always a time which in our home was looked forward to with +eagerness and delight, and to my father it was a time dearer than any +other part of the year, I think. He loved Christmas for its deep +significance as well as for its joys, and this he demonstrates in every +allusion in his writings to the great festival, a day which he considered +should be fragrant with the love that we should bear one to another, and +with the love and reverence of his Saviour and Master. Even in his most +merry conceits of Christmas, there are always subtle and tender touches +which will bring tears to the eyes, and make even the thoughtless have +some special veneration for this most blessed anniversary. + +In our childish days my father used to take us, every twenty-fourth day +of December, to a toy shop in Holborn, where we were allowed to select +our Christmas presents, and also any that we wished to give to our little +companions. Although I believe we were often an hour or more in the shop +before our several tastes were satisfied, he never showed the least +impatience, was always interested, and as desirous as we, that we should +choose exactly what we liked best. As we grew older, present giving was +confined to our several birthdays, and this annual visit to the Holborn +toy shop ceased. + +When we were only babies my father determined that we should be taught to +dance, so as early as the Genoa days we were given our first lessons. +"Our oldest boy and his sisters are to be waited upon next week by a +professor of the noble art of dancing," he wrote to a friend at this +time. And again, in writing to my mother, he says: "I hope the dancing +lessons will be a success. Don't fail to let me know." + +Our progress in the graceful art delighted him, and his admiration of our +success was evident when we exhibited to him, as we were perfected in +them, all the steps, exercises and dances which formed our lessons. He +always encouraged us in our dancing, and praised our grace and aptness, +although criticized quite severely in some places for allowing his +children to expend so much time and energy upon the training of their +feet. + +When "the boys" came home for the holidays there were constant rehearsals +for the Christmas and New Year's parties; and more especially for the +dance on Twelfth Night, the anniversary of my brother Charlie's birthday. +Just before one of these celebrations my father insisted that my sister +Katie and I should teach the polka step to Mr. Leech and himself. My +father was as much in earnest about learning to take that wonderful step +correctly, as though there were nothing of greater importance in the +world. Often he would practice gravely in a corner, without either +partner or music, and I remember one cold winter's night his awakening +with the fear that he had forgotten the step so strong upon him that, +jumping out of bed, by the scant illumination of the old-fashioned +rushlight, and to his own whistling, he diligently rehearsed its "one, +two, three, one, two, three" until he was once more secure in his +knowledge. + + [Picture: Mr. John Leech] + +No one can imagine our excitement and nervousness when the evening came +on which we were to dance with our pupils. Katie, who was a very little +girl was to have Mr. Leech, who was over six feet tall, for her partner, +while my father was to be mine. My heart beat so fast that I could +scarcely breathe, I was so fearful for the success of our exhibition. +But my fears were groundless, and we were greeted at the finish of our +dance with hearty applause, which was more than compensation for the work +which had been expended upon its learning. + +My father was certainly not what in the ordinary acceptation of the term +would be called "a good dancer." I doubt whether he had ever received +any instruction in "the noble art" other than that which my sister and I +gave him. In later years I remember trying to teach him the Schottische, +a dance which he particularly admired and desired to learn. But although +he was so fond of dancing, except at family gatherings in his own or his +most intimate friends' homes, I never remember seeing him join in it +himself, and I doubt if, even as a young man, he ever went to balls. +Graceful in motion, his dancing, such as it was, was natural to him. +Dance music was delightful to his cheery, genial spirit; the time and +steps of a dance suited his tidy nature, if I may so speak. The action +and the exercise seemed to be a part of his abundant vitality. + +While I am writing of my father's fondness for dancing, a characteristic +anecdote of him occurs to me. While he was courting my mother, he went +one summer evening to call upon her. The Hogarths were living a little +way out of London, in a residence which had a drawing-room opening with +French windows on to a lawn. In this room my mother and her family were +seated quietly after dinner on this particular evening, when suddenly a +young sailor jumped through one of the open windows into the apartment, +whistled and danced a hornpipe, and before they could recover from their +amazement jumped out again. A few minutes later my father walked in at +the door as sedately as though quite innocent of the prank, and shook +hands with everyone; but the sight of their amazed faces proving too much +for his attempted sobriety, his hearty laugh was the signal for the rest +of the party to join in his merriment. But judging from his slight +ability in later years, I fancy that he must have taken many lessons to +secure his perfection in that hornpipe. + +His dancing was at its best, I think, in the "Sir Roger de Coverly"--and +in what are known as country dances. In the former, while the end +couples are dancing, and the side couples are supposed to be still, my +father would insist upon the sides keeping up a kind of jig step, and +clapping his hands to add to the fun, and dancing at the backs of those +whose enthusiasm he thought needed rousing, was himself never still for a +moment until the dance was over. He was very fond of a country dance +which he learned at the house of some dear friends at Rockingham Castle, +which began with quite a stately minuet to the tune of "God save the +Queen," and then dashed suddenly into "Down the Middle and up Again." +His enthusiasm in this dance, I remember, was so great that, one evening +after some of our Tavistock House theatricals, when I was thoroughly worn +out with fatigue, being selected by him as his partner, I caught the +infection of his merriment, and my weariness vanished. As he himself +says, in describing dear old "Fezziwig's" Christmas party, we were +"people who would dance and had no notion of walking." His enjoyment of +all our frolics was equally keen, and he writes to an American friend, _a +propos_ of one of our Christmas merry-makings: "Forster is out again; and +if he don't go in again after the manner in which we have been keeping +Christmas, he must be very strong indeed. Such dinings, such conjurings, +such blindman's buffings, such theatre goings, such kissings out of old +years and kissings in of new ones never took place in these parts before. +To keep the Chuzzlewit going, and to do this little book the Carol, in +the odd times between two parts of it, was, as you may suppose, pretty +tight work. But when it was done I broke out like a madman, and if you +could have seen me at a children's party at Macready's the other night +going down a country dance with Mrs. M. you would have thought I was a +country gentleman of independent property residing on a tip-top farm, +with the wind blowing straight in my face every day." + +At our holiday frolics he used sometimes to conjure for us, the equally +"noble art" of the prestidigitateur being among his accomplishments. He +writes of this, which he included in the list of our Twelfth Night +amusements, to another American friend: "The actuary of the national debt +couldn't calculate the number of children who are coming here on Twelfth +Night, in honor of Charlie's birthday, for which occasion I have provided +a magic lantern and divers other tremendous engines of that nature. But +the best of it is that Forster and I have purchased between us the entire +stock-in-trade of a conjuror, the practice and display whereof is +entrusted to me. And if you could see me conjuring the company's watches +into impossible tea-caddies and causing pieces of money to fly, and +burning pocket handkerchiefs without burning 'em, and practising in my +own room without anybody to admire, you would never forget it as long as +you live." + +One of these conjuring tricks comprised the disappearance and +reappearance of a tiny doll, which would announce most unexpected pieces +of news and messages to the different children in the audience; this doll +was a particular favorite, and its arrival eagerly awaited and welcomed. + +That he loved to emphasize Christmas in every possible way, the following +extract from a note which he sent me in December, 1868, will evidence. +After speaking of a reading which he was to give on Christmas Eve, he +says: "It occurs to me that my table at St. James' Hall might be +appropriately ornamented with a little holly next Tuesday. If the two +front legs were entwined with it, for instance, and a border of it ran +round the top of the fringe in front, with a little sprig by way of +bouquet at each corner, it would present a seasonable appearance. If you +think of this and will have the materials ready in a little basket, I +will call for you at the office and take you up to the hall where the +table will be ready for you." + +But I think that our Christmas and New Year's tides at "Gad's Hill" were +the happiest of all. Our house was always filled with guests, while a +cottage in the village was reserved for the use of the bachelor members +of our holiday party. My father himself, always deserted work for the +week, and that was almost our greatest treat. He was the fun and life of +those gatherings, the true Christmas spirit of sweetness and hospitality +filling his large and generous heart. Long walks with him were daily +treats to be remembered. Games passed our evenings merrily. "Proverbs," +a game of memory, was very popular, and it was one in which either my +aunt or myself was apt to prove winner. Father's annoyance at our +failure sometimes was very amusing, but quite genuine. "Dumb Crambo" was +another favorite, and one in which my father's great imitative ability +showed finely. I remember one evening his dumb showing of the word +"frog" was so extremely laughable that the memory of it convulsed Marcus +Stone, the clever artist, when he tried some time later to imitate it. + +One very severe Christmas, when the snow was so deep as to make outdoor +amusement or entertainment for our guests impossible, my father suggested +that he and the inhabitants of the "bachelors' cottage" should pass the +time in unpacking the French chalet, which had been sent to him by Mr. +Fetcher, and which reached Higham Station in a large number of packing +cases. Unpacking these and fitting the pieces together gave them +interesting employment, and some topics of conversation for our luncheon +party. + +Our Christmas Day dinners at "Gad's Hill" were particularly bright and +cheery, some of our nearest neighbours joining our home party. The +Christmas plum pudding had its own special dish of coloured "repousse" +china, ornamented with holly. The pudding was placed on this with a +sprig of real holly in the centre, lighted, and in this state placed in +front of my father, its arrival being always the signal for applause. A +prettily decorated table was his special pleasure, and from my earliest +girlhood the care of this devolved upon me. When I had everything in +readiness, he would come with me to inspect the result of my labors, +before dressing for dinner, and no word except of praise ever came to my +ears. + +He was a wonderfully neat and rapid carver, and I am happy to say taught +me some of his skill in this. I used to help him in our home parties at +"Gad's Hill" by carving at a side table, returning to my seat opposite +him as soon as my duty was ended. On Christmas Day we all had our +glasses filled, and then my father, raising his, would say: "Here's to us +all. God bless us!" a toast which was rapidly and willingly drunk. His +conversation, as may be imagined, was often extremely humorous, and I +have seen the servants, who were waiting at table, convulsed often with +laughter at his droll remarks and stories. Now, as I recall these +gatherings, my sight grows blurred with the tears that rise to my eyes. +But I love to remember them, and to see, if only in memory, my father at +his own table, surrounded by his own family and friends--a beautiful +Christmas spirit. + +"It is good to be children sometimes, and never better than at Christmas, +when its Mighty Founder was a child himself," was his own advice, and +advice which he followed both in letter and spirit. + +One morning--it was the last day of the year, I remember--while we were +at breakfast at "Gad's Hill," my father suggested that we should +celebrate the evening by a charade to be acted in pantomime. The +suggestion was received with acclamation, and amid shouts and laughing we +were then and there, guests and members of the family, allotted our +respective parts. My father went about collecting "stage properties," +rehearsals were "called" at least four times during the morning, and in +all our excitement no thought was given to that necessary part of a +charade, the audience, whose business it is to guess the pantomime. At +luncheon someone asked suddenly: "But what about an audience?" "Why, +bless my soul," said my father, "I'd forgotten all about that." +Invitations were quickly dispatched to our neighbours, and additional +preparations made for supper. In due time the audience came, and the +charade was acted so successfully that the evening stands out in my +memory as one of the merriest and happiest of the many merry and happy +evenings in our dear old home. My father was so extremely funny in his +part that the rest of us found it almost impossible to maintain +sufficient control over ourselves to enable the charade to proceed as it +was planned to do. It wound up with a country dance, which had been +invented that morning and practised quite a dozen times through the day, +and which was concluded at just a few moments before midnight. Then +leading us all, characters and audience, out into the wide hall, and +throwing wide open the door, my father, watch in hand, stood waiting to +hear the bells ring in the New Year. All was hush and silence after the +laughter and merriment! Suddenly the peal of bells sounded, and turning +he said: "A happy New Year to us all! God bless us." Kisses, good +wishes and shaking of hands brought us again back to the fun and gaiety +of a few moments earlier. Supper was served, the hot mulled wine drunk +in toasts, and the maddest and wildest of "Sir Roger de Coverlys" ended +our evening and began our New Year. + +One New year's day my father organized some field sports in a meadow +which was at the back of our house. "Foot races for the villagers come +off in my field to-morrow," he wrote to a friend, "and we have been hard +at work all day, building a course, making countless flags, and I don't +know what else, Layard (the late Sir Henry Layard) is chief commissioner +of the domestic police. The country police predict an immense crowd." + +There were between two and three thousand people present at these sports, +and by a kind of magical influence, my father seemed to rule every +creature present to do his or her best to maintain order. The likelihood +of things going wrong was anticipated, and despite the general prejudice +of the neighbours against the undertaking, my father's belief and trust +in his guests was not disappointed. But you shall have his own account +of his success. "We had made a very pretty course," he wrote, "and taken +great pains. Encouraged by the cricket matches' experience, I allowed +the landlord of the Falstaff to have a drinking booth on the ground. Not +to seem to dictate or distrust, I gave all the prizes in money. The +great mass of the crowd were laboring men of all kinds, soldiers, sailors +and navvies. They did not, between half-past ten, when we began, and +sunset, displace a rope or a stake; and they left every barrier and flag +as neat as they found it. There was not a dispute, and there was no +drunkenness whatever. I made them a little speech from the lawn at the +end of the games, saying that, please God, we would do it again next +year. They cheered most lustily and dispersed. The road between this +and Chatham was like a fair all day; and surely it is a fine thing to get +such perfect behaviour out of a reckless seaport town." He was the last +to realize, I am sure that it was his own sympathetic nature which gave +him the love and honor of all classes, and that helped to make the day's +sports such a great success! + +My father was again in his element at the Twelfth Night parties to which +I have before alluded. For many consecutive years, Miss Coutts, now the +Baroness Burdett Coutts, was in the habit of sending my brother, on this +his birthday anniversary, the most gorgeous of Twelfth-cakes, with an +accompanying box of bonbons and Twelfth Night characters. The cake was +cut, and the favors and bonbons distributed at the birthday supper, and +it was then that my father's kindly, genial nature overflowed in +merriment. He would have something droll to say to everyone, and under +his attentions the shyest child would brighten and become merry. No one +was overlooked or forgotten by him; like the young Cratchits, he was +"ubiquitous." Supper was followed by songs and recitations from the +various members of the company, my father acting always as master of +ceremonies, and calling upon first one child, then another for his or her +contribution to the festivity. I can see now the anxious faces turned +toward the beaming, laughing eyes of their host. How attentively he +would listen, with his head thrown slightly back, and a little to one +side, a happy smile on his lips. O, those merry, happy times, never to +be forgotten by any of his own children, or by any of their guests. +Those merry, happy times! + +And in writing thus of these dear old holidays, when we were all so happy +in our home, and when my father was with us, let me add this little +postscript, and greet you on this Christmas of 1896, with my father's own +words: "Reflect upon your present blessings--of which every man has +many--not on your past misfortunes, of which all men have some. Fill +your glass again with a merry face and contented heart. Our life on it, +but your Christmas shall be merry and your New Year a happy one. + +"So may the New Year be a happy one to you, happy to many more whose +happiness depends on you! So may each year be happier than the last, and +not the meanest of our brethren or sisterhood debarred their rightful +share in what our great Creator formed them to enjoy." + + [Picture: Mr. Pickwick under the Mistletoe] + + + + +CHAPTER III. + + + My father at his work.--Rooms in which he wrote.--Love for his child + characters.--Genius for character drawing.--Nicholas Nickleby.--His + writing hours.--His only amanuensis.--"Pickwick" and "Boz."--Death of + Mr. Thackeray. + +When at work my father was almost always alone, so that, with rare +exceptions, save as we could see the effect of the adventures of his +characters upon him in his daily moods, we knew but little of his manner +of work. Absolute quiet under these circumstances was essential, the +slightest sound making an interruption fatal to the success of his +labors, although, oddly enough, in his leisure hours the bustle and noise +of a great city seemed necessary to him. He writes, after an enforced +idleness of two years, spent in a quiet place; "The difficulty of going +at what I call a rapid pace is prodigious; indeed, it is almost an +impossibility. I suppose this is partly the effect of two years' ease, +and partly the absence of streets, and numbers of figures. I cannot +express how much I want these. It seems as if they supplied something to +my brain which, when busy, it cannot bear to lose. For a week or +fortnight I can write prodigiously in a retired place, a day in London +setting and starting me up again. But the toil and labor of writing day +after day without that magic lantern is immense!" + +As I have said, he was usually alone when at work, though there were, of +course, some occasional exceptions, and I myself constituted such an +exception. During our life at Tavistock House, I had a long and serious +illness, with an almost equally long convalescence. During the latter, +my father suggested that I should be carried every day into his study to +remain with him, and, although I was fearful of disturbing him, he +assured me that he desired to have me with him. On one of these +mornings, I was lying on the sofa endeavouring to keep perfectly quiet, +while my father wrote busily and rapidly at his desk, when he suddenly +jumped from his chair and rushed to a mirror which hung near, and in +which I could see the reflection of some extraordinary facial contortions +which he was making. He returned rapidly to his desk, wrote furiously +for a few moments, and then went again to the mirror. The facial +pantomime was resumed, and then turning toward, but evidently not seeing, +me, he began talking rapidly in a low voice. Ceasing this soon, however, +he returned once more to his desk, where he remained silently writing +until luncheon time. It was a most curious experience for me, and one of +which, I did not until later years, fully appreciate the purport. Then I +knew that with his natural intensity he had thrown himself completely +into the character that he was creating, and that for the time being he +had not only lost sight of his surroundings, but had actually become in +action, as in imagination, the creature of his pen. + +His "studies" were always cheery, pleasant rooms, and always, like +himself, the personification of neatness and tidiness. On the shelf of +his writing table were many dainty and useful ornaments, gifts from his +friends or members of his family, and always, a vase of bright and fresh +flowers. The first study that I remember is the one in our Devonshire +Terrace home, a pretty room, with steps leading directly into the garden +from it, and with an extra baize door to keep out all sounds and noise. +The study at Tavistock House was more elaborate; a fine large room, +opening into the drawing-room by means of sliding doors. When the rooms +were thrown together they gave my father a promenade of considerable +length for the constant indoor walking which formed a favorite recreation +for him after a hard day's writing. + +At "Gad's Hill" he first made a study from one of the large spare +sleeping rooms of the house, as the windows there overlooked a beautiful +and favorite view of his. His writing table was always placed near a +window looking out into the open world which he loved so keenly. +Afterwards he occupied for years a smaller room overlooking the back +garden and a pretty meadow, but this he eventually turned into a +miniature billiard room, and then established himself, finally, in the +room on the right side of the entrance hall facing the front garden. It +is this room which Mr. Luke Fildes, the great artist and our own esteemed +friend, made famous in his picture "The Empty Chair," which he sketched +for "The Graphic" after my father's death. The writing table, the +ornaments, the huge waste paper basket, which "the master" had made for +his own use, are all there, and, alas, the empty chair! + +That he was always in earnest, that he lived with his creations, that +their joys and sorrows were his joys and sorrows, that at times his +anguish, both of body and spirit, was poignant and heart-breaking, I +know. His interest in and love for his characters were intense as his +nature, and is shown nowhere more strongly than in his sufferings during +his portrayal of the short life of "Little Nell," like a father he +mourned for his little girl--the child of his brain--and he writes: "I +am, for the time, nearly dead with work and grief for the loss of my +child." Again he writes of her: "You can't imagine (gravely I write and +speak) how exhausted I am to-day with yesterday's labors. I went to bed +last night utterly dispirited and done up. All night I have been pursued +by the child; and this morning I am unrefreshed and miserable. I do not +know what to do with myself." + +His love and care for this little one are shown most pathetically in the +suggestions which he gave to Mr. George Cattermole for his illustrations +of the "Old Curiosity Shop." "Kit, the single gentleman, and Mr. Garland +go down to the place where the child is and arrive there at night. There +has been a fall of snow. Kit, leaving them behind, runs to the old +house, and with a lantern in one hand, and the bird in its cage in the +other, stops for a moment at a little distance, with a natural +hesitation, before he goes up to make his presence known. In a +window--supposed to be that of the child's little room--a light is +burning, and in that room the child (unknown, of course, to her visitors, +who are full of hope), lies dead." + +Again: "The child lying dead in the little sleeping room, behind the open +screen. It is winter time, so there are no flowers, but upon her breast +and pillow there may be strips of holly and berries and such green +things. A window, overgrown with ivy. The little boy who had that talk +with her about the angels may be by the bedside, if you like it so; but I +think it will be quieter and more peaceful if she is quite alone. I want +the scene to express the most beautiful repose and tranquillity, and to +have something of a happy look, if death can do this." + +Another: "The child has been buried within the church, and the old man, +who cannot be made to understand that she is dead repairs to the grave +and sits there all day long, waiting for her arrival to begin another +journey. His staff and knapsack, her little bonnet and basket, lie +beside him. 'She'll come to-morrow,' he says, when it gets dark, and +then goes sorrowfully home. I think an hour glass running out would keep +up the notion; perhaps her little things upon his knee or in his hand. I +am breaking my heart over this story, and cannot bear to finish it." + +In acknowledging the receipt of a letter concerning this book from Mr. +John Tomlin, an American, he wrote: "I thank you cordially and heartily +for your letter, and for its kind and courteous terms. To think that I +have awakened among the vast solitudes in which you dwell a fellow +feeling and sympathy with the creatures of many thoughtful hours, is the +source of the purest delight and pride to me; and believe me that your +expressions of affectionate remembrance and approval, sounding from the +green forests of the Mississippi, sink deeper into my heart and gratify +it more than all the honorary distinctions that all the courts of Europe +could confer. It is such things as these that make one hope one does not +live in vain, and that are the highest rewards of an author's life." + +His genius for character sketching needs no proof--his characters live to +vouch for themselves, for their reality. It is ever amazing to me that +the hand which drew the pathetic and beautiful creations, the kindly +humored men, the lovely women, the unfortunate little ones, could portray +also with such marvellous accuracy the villainy and craftiness of such +characters as Bumble, Bill Sykes, Pecksniff, Uriah Heep and Squeers. +Undoubtedly from his earliest childhood he had possessed the quick +perception, the instinct, which could read in people's characters their +tendencies toward good and evil, and throughout his life he valued this +ability above literary skill and finish. Mr. Forster makes a point of +this in his biography, speaking of the noticeable traits in him: "What I +had most, indeed, to notice in him at the very outset of his career, was +his indifference to any praise of his performances on their merely +literary merit, compared with the higher recognition of them as bits of +actual life, with the meaning and purpose on their part, and the +responsibility on his, of realities rather than creatures of fancy." + +But he was always pleased with praise, and always modest and grateful in +returning it. "How can I thank you?" he writes to a friend who was +expressing his pleasure at "Oliver Twist." "Can I do better than by +saying that the sense of poor Oliver's reality, which I know you have had +from the first, has been the highest of all praise to me? None that has +been lavished upon me have I felt half so much as that appreciation of my +intent and meaning. Your notices make me very grateful, but very proud, +so have a care." + +The impressions which were later converted into motives and plots for his +stories he imbibed often in his earliest childhood. The crusade against +the Yorkshire schools which is waged in "Nicholas Nickleby," is the +working out of some of these childish impressions. He writes himself of +them: "I cannot call to mind how I came to hear about Yorkshire schools, +when I was not a very robust child, sitting in by-places near Rochester +Castle with a head full of Partridge, Strap, Tom Pipes and Sancho Panza, +but I know my first impressions of the schools were picked up at this +time." We can imagine how deeply the wrongs must have sunk into the +sensitive heart of the child, rankling there through many years, to bear +fruit in the scourging of them and their abuses from the land. While he +was at work upon "Nicholas Nickleby," he sent one of his characteristic +letters in reply to a little boy--Master Hasting Hughes--who wrote to ask +him to make some changes in the story. As some of you may not have read +this letter, and as it is so extremely amusing, I shall quote part of it: + + "DOUGHTY STREET, LONDON. + "December 12th, 1838. + + "Respected Sir: I have given Squeers one cut on the neck, and two on + the head, at which he appeared much surprised, and began to cry, + which, being a cowardly thing, is just what I should have expected + from him--wouldn't you? + + "I have carefully done what you told me in your letter about the lamb + and the two 'sheeps' for the little boys. They have also had some + good ale and porter and some wine. I am sorry you did not say what + wine you would like them to have. I gave them some sherry, which + they liked very much, except one boy who was a little sick and choked + a good deal. He was rather greedy, and that's the truth, and I + believe it went the wrong way, which I say served him right, and I + hope you will say so too. Nick has had his roast lamb, as you said + he was to, but he could not eat it all, and says if you do not mind + his doing so he should like to have the rest hashed to-morrow with + some greens, which he is very fond of, and so am I. He said he did + not like to have his porter hot, for he thought it spoilt the + flavour, so I let him have it cold. You should have seen him drink + it. I thought he never would have left off. I also gave him three + pounds in money, all in sixpences to make it seem more, and he said + directly that he should give more than half to his mamma and sister, + and divide the rest with poor Smike. And I say he is a good fellow + for saying so; and if anybody says he isn't, I am ready to fight him + whenever they like--there! + + "Fanny Squeers shall be attended to, depend upon it. Your drawing of + her is very like, except that I do not think the hair is quite curly + enough. The nose is particularly like hers, and so are the legs. + She is a nasty, disagreeable thing, and I know it will make her very + cross when she sees it, and what I say is that I hope it may. You + will say the same, I know--at least I think you will." + +The amount of work which he could accomplish varied greatly at certain +times, though in its entirety it was so immense. When he became the man +of letters, and ceased the irregular, unmethodical life of the reporter, +his mornings were invariably spent at his desk. The time between +breakfast and luncheon, with an occasional extension of a couple of hours +into the afternoon, were given over to his creations. The exceptions +were when he was taking a holiday or resting, though even when ostensibly +employed in the latter, cessation from story writing meant the answering +of letters and the closer attention to his business matters, so that but +little of real rest ever came into his later life. + +While in Italy he gave a fragmentary diary of his daily life in a letter +to a friend, and the routine was there very much what it was at home. "I +am in a regular ferocious excitement with the Chimes; get up at seven; +have a cold bath before breakfast; and blaze away, wrathful and red-hot, +until three o'clock or so, when I usually knock off (unless it rains) for +the day. I am fierce to finish in a spirit bearing some affinity to that +of truth and mercy, and to shame the cruel and the wicked, but it is hard +work." His entire discomfort under sound interruptions is also shown in +the above, in his reference to the Chimes, and the effect which they had +upon him. + +Despite his regularity of working hours, as I have said, the amount of +work which my father accomplished varied greatly. His manuscripts were +usually written upon white "slips," though sometimes upon blue paper, and +there were many mornings when it would be impossible for him to fill one +of these. He writes on one occasion: "I am sitting at home, patiently +waiting for Oliver Twist, who has not yet arrived." And, indeed, +"Oliver" gave him considerable trouble, in the course of his adventures, +by his disinclination to be put upon paper easily. This slowness in +writing marked more prominently the earlier period of my father's +literary career, though these "blank days," when his brain refused to +work, were of occasional occurrence to the end. He was very critical of +his own labors, and would bring nothing but the best of his brain to the +art which he so dearly loved--his venerated mistress. But, on the other +hand, the amount of work which he would accomplish at other times was +almost incredible. During a long sojourn at Lausanne he writes: "I have +not been idle since I have been here. I had a good deal to write for +Lord John about the ragged schools; so I set to work and did that. A +good deal to Miss Coutts, in reference to her charitable projects; so I +set to work and did that. Half of the children's New Testament to write, +or pretty nearly. I set to work and did that. Next, I cleared off the +greater part of such correspondence as I had rashly pledged myself to, +and then--began Dombey!" + +I know of only one occasion on which he employed an amanuensis, and my +aunt is my authority for the following, concerning this one time: "The +book which your father dictated to me was 'The Child's History of +England.' The reason for my being used in this capacity of secretary was +that 'Bleak House' was being written at the same time, and your father +would dictate to me while walking about the room, as a relief after his +long, sedentary imprisonment. The history was being written for +'Household Words,' and 'Bleak House' also as a serial, so he had both +weekly and monthly work on hand at the same time." The history was +dedicated: "To my own dear children, whom I hope it will help, by-and-by, +to read with interest larger and better books upon the same subject." + +My father wrote always with a quill pen and blue ink, and never, I think, +used a lead pencil. His handwriting was considered extremely difficult +to read by many people, but I never found it so. In his manuscripts +there were so many erasures, and such frequent interlineations that a +special staff of compositors was used for his work, but this was not on +account of any illegibility in his handwriting. The manuscripts are most +of them, exhibited at the South Kensington Museum in "the Forster +Collection," and they all show I think, the extreme care and +fastidiousness of the writer, and his ever-constant desire to improve +upon and simplify his original sentence. His objection to the use of a +lead pencil was so great that even his personal memoranda, such as his +lists of guests for dinner parties, the arrangement of tables and menus, +were always written in ink. For his personal correspondence he used blue +note paper, and signed his name in the left-hand corner of the envelope. +After a morning's close work he was sometimes quite pre-occupied when he +came into luncheon. Often, when we were only our home party at "Gad's +Hill," he would come in, take something to eat in a mechanical way--he +never ate but a small luncheon--and would return to his study to finish +the work he had left, scarcely having spoken a word in all this time. +Again, he would come in, having finished his work, but looking very tired +and worn. Our talking at these times did not seem to disturb him, though +any sudden sound, as the dropping of a spoon, or the clinking of a glass, +would send a spasm of pain across his face. + +The sudden, almost instantaneous, popularity of "Pickwick" was known to +the world long before it was realized by its anxious young author. All +the business transactions concerning its publication were modest to a +degree, and the preparations for such a success as came to it were none. +As to its popularity, Mr. Forster writes: "Judges on the bench, and boys +in the streets, gravity and folly, the young and the old, those who were +entering life, and those who were quitting it, alike found it +irresistible." Carlyle wrote: "An archdeacon repeated to me, with his +own venerable lips, the other evening, a strange, profane story of a +solemn clergyman who had been summoned to administer consolation to a +very ill man. As he left the room he heard the sick man ejaculate: "Well +thank God, Pickwick will be out in ten days, anyway!" No young author +ever sprang into more sudden and brilliant fame than "Boz," and none +could have remained more thoroughly unspoiled, or so devoid of egotism +under success. His own opinion of his fame, and his estimate of its +value, may be quoted here: "To be numbered amongst the household gods of +one's distant countrymen, and associated with their homes and quiet +pleasures; to be told that in each nook and corner of the world's great +mass there lives one well-wisher who holds communion with one in the +spirit, is a worthy fame, indeed. That I may be happy enough to cheer +some of your leisure hours for a long time to come, and to hold a place +in your pleasant thoughts, is the earnest wish of 'Boz.'" + +On the Christmas Eve of 1863 my father was greatly shocked and distressed +to hear of the sudden death of Mr. Thackeray. Our guests, naturally, +were full of the sad news, and there was a gloom cast over everything. +We all thought of the sorrow of his two daughters, who were so devoted to +him, and whom his sudden taking away would leave so desolate. In "The +Cornhill Magazine" of the February following, my father wrote: "I saw Mr. +Thackeray for the first time nearly twenty-eight years ago, when he +proposed to become the illustrator of my earliest book. I saw him last +shortly before Christmas, at the Athenaeum Club, when he told me he had +been in bed three days, and that he had it in his mind to try a new +remedy, which he laughingly described. He was cheerful, and looked very +bright. In the night of that day week he died. * * * * No one can be +surer than I of the greatness and goodness of his heart. In no place +should I take it upon myself at this time to discourse of his books, of +his refined knowledge of character, of his subtle acquaintance with the +weakness of human nature, of his delightful playfulness as an essayist, +of his quaint and touching ballads, of his mastery over the English +language. But before me lies all that he had written of his latest +story, and the pain I have felt in perusing it has not been deeper than +the conviction that he was in the healthiest region of his powers when he +worked on this last labor. The last words he corrected in print were +'and my heart throbbed with an exquisite bliss.' God grant that on that +Christmas Eve, when he laid his head back on his pillow and threw up his +arms as he had been wont to do when very weary, some consciousness of +duty done, and of Christian hope throughout life humbly cherished, may +have caused his own heart so to throb when he passed away to his rest." + + + + +CHAPTER IV. + + + Fondness for Athletic Sports.--His love of bathing.--His study of the + raven.--Calling the doctor in.--My father with our dogs.--The cats of + "Gad's Hill."--"Bumble" and "Mrs. Bouncer."--A strange friendship. + +As a child my father was prevented from any active participation in the +sports and amusements of his boyish companions by his extreme delicacy +and frequent illnesses, so that until his manhood his knowledge of games +was gained merely from long hours of watching others while lying upon the +grass. With manhood, however, came the strength and activity which +enabled him to take part in all kinds of outdoor exercise and sports, and +it seemed that in his passionate enjoyment and participation in those +later years he was recompensed for the weary childhood years of suffering +and inability. Athletic sports were a passion with him in his manhood, +as I have said. In 1839 he rented a cottage at Petersham, not far from +London "where," to quote from Mr. Forster, "the extensive garden grounds +admitted of much athletic competition, in which Dickens, for the most +part, held his own against even such accomplished athletes as Maclise and +Mr. Beard. Bar leaping, bowling and quoits were among the games carried +on with the greatest ardor, and in sustained energy Dickens certainly +distanced every competitor. Even the lighter recreations of battledore +and bagatelle were pursued with relentless activity. At such amusements +as the Petersham races, in those days rather celebrated, and which he +visited daily while they lasted, he worked much harder than the running +horses did." + +Riding was a favorite recreation at all times with my father, and he was +constantly inviting one or another of his friends to bear him company on +these excursions. Always fond, in his leisure hours, of companions, he +seemed to find his rides and walks quite incomplete if made alone. He +writes on one occasion: "What think you of a fifteen-mile ride out, ditto +in, and a lunch on the road, with a wind-up of six o'clock dinner in +Doughty Street?" And again: "Not knowing whether my head was off or on, +it became so addled with work, I have gone riding over the old road, and +shall be truly delighted to meet or be overtaken by you." As a young man +he was extremely fond of riding, but as I never remember seeing him on +horseback I think he must have deprived himself of this pastime soon +after his marriage. + +But walking was, perhaps, his chiefest pleasure, and the country lanes +and city streets alike found him a close observer of their beauties and +interests. He was a rapid walker, his usual pace being four miles an +hour, and to keep step with him required energy and activity similar to +his own. In many of his letters he speaks with most evident enjoyment of +this pastime. In one he writes: "What a brilliant morning for a country +walk! I start precisely--precisely, mind--at half-past one. Come, come, +come and walk in the green lanes!" Again: "You don't feel disposed, do +you, to muffle yourself up and start off with me for a good, brisk walk +over Hampstead Heath?" + +Outdoor games of the simpler kinds delighted him. Battledore and +shuttlecock was played constantly in the garden at Devonshire Terrace, +though I do not remember my father ever playing it elsewhere. The +American game of bowls pleased him, and rounders found him more than +expert. Croquet he disliked, but cricket he enjoyed intensely as a +spectator, always keeping one of the scores during the matches at "Gad's +Hill." + +He was a firm believer in the hygiene of bathing, and cold baths, sea +baths and shower baths were among his most constant practices. In those +days scientific ablution was not very generally practised, and I am sure +that in many places during his travels my father was looked upon as an +amiable maniac with a penchant for washing. + +During his first visit to America, while he was making some journey in a +rather rough and uncomfortable canal boat, he wrote: "I am considered +very hardy in the morning, for I run up barenecked and plunge my head +into the half-frozen water by half-past five o'clock. I am respected for +my activity, inasmuch as I jump from the boat to the towing path, and +walk five or six miles before breakfast, keeping up with the horses all +the time." And from Broadstairs: "In a bay window sits, from nine +o'clock to one, a gentleman with rather long hair and no neckcloth, who +writes and grins as if he thought he were very funny, indeed. At one +o'clock he disappears, presently emerges from a bathing machine, and may +be seen a kind of salmon-colored porpoise, splashing about in the ocean. +After that, he may be viewed in another bay window on the ground floor, +eating a good lunch; and after that, walking a dozen miles or so, or +lying on his back on the sand reading. Nobody bothers him, unless they +know he is disposed to be talked to; and I am told he is very +comfortable, indeed." + +During the hottest summer months of our year's residence in Italy, we +lived at a little seaport of the Mediterranean called Albaro. The +bathing here was of the most primitive kind, one division of the clear, +dark-blue pools among the rocks being reserved for women, the other for +men, and as we children were as much at home in the water as any known +variety of fish, we used to look with wonder at the so-called bathing of +the Italian women. They would come in swarms, beautifully dressed, and +with most elaborately arranged heads of hair, but the slightest of +wettings with them was the equivalent of a bath. In the open bay at +Albaro the current was very strong, and the bathing most dangerous to +even an experienced swimmer. I remember one morning the terrible fright +we were given by an uncle of ours; he swam out into the bay, was caught +by the current of an ebb tide and borne out of reach of our eyes. A +fishing boat picked him up still alive, though greatly exhausted. "It +was a world of horror and anguish crowded into four or five minutes of +dreadful agitation," wrote my father, "and to complete the terror of it +the entire family, including the children, were on the rock in full view +of it all, crying like mad creatures." + +He loved animals, flowers and birds, his fondness for the latter being +shown nowhere more strongly than in his devotion to his ravens at +Devonshire Terrace. He writes characteristically of the death of "Grip," +the first raven: "You will be greatly shocked and grieved to hear that +the raven is no more. He expired to-day at a few minutes after twelve +o'clock, at noon. He had been ailing for a few days, but we anticipated +no serious result, conjecturing that a portion of the white paint he +swallowed last summer might be lingering about his vitals. Yesterday +afternoon he was taken so much worse that I sent an express for the +medical gentleman, who promptly attended and administered a powerful dose +of castor oil. Under the influence of this medicine he recovered so far +as to be able, at eight o'clock, p.m., to bite Topping (the coachman). +His night was peaceful. This morning, at daybreak, he appeared better, +and partook plentifully of some warm gruel, the flavor of which he +appeared to relish. Toward eleven o'clock he was so much worse that it +was found necessary to muffle the stable knocker. At half-past, or +thereabouts, he was heard talking to himself about the horse and +Topping's family, and to add some incoherent expressions which are +supposed to have been either a foreboding of his approaching dissolution +or some wishes relative to the disposal of his little property, +consisting chiefly of half-pence which he had buried in different parts +of the garden. On the clock striking twelve he appeared slightly +agitated, but he soon recovered, walked twice or thrice along the coach +house, stopped to bark, staggered, and exclaimed 'Halloa, old girl!' (his +favorite expression) and died. He behaved throughout with decent +fortitude, equanimity and self-possession. I deeply regret that, being +in ignorance of his danger, I did not attend to receive his last +instructions. + +"Something remarkable about his eyes occasioned Topping to run for the +doctor at twelve. When they returned together, our friend was gone. It +was the medical gentleman who informed me of his decease. He did it with +caution and delicacy, preparing me by the remark that 'a jolly queer +start had taken place.' I am not wholly free from suspicions of poison. +A malicious butcher has been heard to say that he would 'do' for him. +His plea was that he would not be molested in taking orders down the mews +by any bird that wore a tail. Were they ravens who took manna to +somebody in the wilderness? At times I hope they were, and at others I +fear they were not, or they would certainly have stolen it by the way. +Kate is as well as can be expected. The children seem rather glad of it. +He bit their ankles, but that was in play." As my father was writing +"Barnaby Rudge" at this time, and wished to continue his study of raven +nature, another and a larger "Grip" took the place of "our friend" but it +was he whose talking tricks and comical ways gave my father the idea of +making a raven one of the characters in this book. My father's fondness +for "Grip" was, however, never transferred to any other raven, and none +of us ever forgave the butcher whom we all held in some way responsible +for his untimely taking off. + +But I think his strongest love, among animals, was for dogs. I find a +delightful anecdote told by him of a dog belonging to a lady whom he knew +well, "Of," an immense, black, good-humored, Newfoundland dog. He came +from Oxford and had lived all his life in a brewery. Instructions were +given with him that if he were let out every morning alone he would +immediately find out the river, regularly take a swim and come gravely +home again. This he did with the greatest punctuality, but after a +little while was observed to smell of beer. His owner was so sure that +he smelled of beer that she resolved to watch him. He was seen to come +back from his swim round the usual corner and to go up a flight of steps +into a beer shop. Being instantly followed, the beer shopkeeper is seen +to take down a pot (pewter pot) and is heard to say: "Well, old chap, +come for your beer as usual, have you?" Upon which he draws a pint and +puts it down and the dog drinks it. Being required to explain how this +comes to pass the man says: "Yes, ma'am. I know he's your dog, ma'am, +but I didn't when he first came. He looked in, ma'am, as a brick-maker +might, and then he come in, as a brickmaker might, and he wagged his tail +at the pots, and he giv a sniff round and conveyed to me as he was used +to beer. So I draw'd him a drop, and he drunk it up. Next morning he +come agen by the clock and I draw'd him a pint, and ever since he has +took his pint reg'lar." + +On account of our birds, cats were not allowed in the house; but from a +friend in London I received a present of a white kitten--Williamina--and +she and her numerous offspring had a happy home at "Gad's Hill." She +became a favorite with all the household, and showed particular devotion +to my father. I remember on one occasion when she had presented us with +a family of kittens, she selected a corner of father's study for their +home. She brought them one by one from the kitchen and deposited them in +her chosen corner. My father called to me to remove them, saying that he +could not allow the kittens to remain in his room. I did so, but +Williamina brought them back again, one by one. Again they were removed. +The third time, instead of putting them in the corner, she placed them +all, and herself beside them, at my father's feet, and gave him such an +imploring glance that he could resist no longer, and they were allowed to +remain. As the kittens grew older they became more and more frolicsome, +swarming up the curtains, playing about on the writing table and +scampering behind the book shelves. But they were never complained of +and lived happily in the study until the time came for finding them other +homes. One of these kittens was kept, who, as he was quite deaf, was +left unnamed, and became known by the servants as "the master's cat," +because of his devotion to my father. He was always with him, and used +to follow him about the garden like a dog, and sit with him while he +wrote. One evening we were all, except father, going to a ball, and when +we started, left "the master" and his cat in the drawing-room together. +"The master" was reading at a small table, on which a lighted candle was +placed. Suddenly the candle went out. My father, who was much +interested in his book, relighted the candle stroked the cat, who was +looking at him pathetically he noticed, and continued his reading. A few +minutes later, as the light became dim, he looked up just in time to see +puss deliberately put out the candle with his paw, and then look +appealingly toward him. This second and unmistakable hint was not +disregarded, and puss was given the petting he craved. Father was full +of this anecdote when all met at breakfast the next morning. + +Among our dogs were "Turk" and "Linda," the former a beautiful mastiff +and the latter a soft-eyed, gentle, good-tempered St. Bernard. "Mrs. +Bouncer," a Pomeranian, came next, a tiny ball of white fluffy fur, who +came as a special gift to me, and speedily won her way by her grace and +daintiness into the affections of every member of the household. My +father became her special slave, and had a peculiar voice for her--as he +had for us, when we were children--to which she would respond at once by +running to him from any part of the house when she heard his call. He +delighted to see her with the large dogs, with whom she gave herself +great airs, "because," as he said, "she looks so preposterously small." +A few years later came "Don," a Newfoundland, and then "Bumble," his son, +named after "Oliver Twist's" beadle, because of "a peculiarly pompous and +overbearing manner he had of appearing to mount guard over the yard when +he was an absolute infant." Lastly came "Sultan," an Irish bloodhound, +who had a bitter experience with his life at "Gad's Hill." One evening, +having broken his chain, he fell upon a little girl who was passing and +bit her so severely that my father considered it necessary to have him +shot, although this decision cost him a great deal of sorrow. + +For a short time I had the care of a mongrel called "Gipsy." She was not +allowed to enter any of the family rooms, and used to spend her time +lying contentedly on the rug outside the drawing-room. One afternoon a +friend came from Chatham bringing with him a wonderful poodle who had +been specially invited to perform all his tricks for my father's +enjoyment. On his arrival, "Mrs. Bouncer" became furious, and when he +began his tricks she went deliberately into the hall and escorted "Gipsy" +into the drawing-room, as much as to say: "I can't stand this. If +strange dogs are to be made much of, surely the dogs in the house may be +at least permitted to enter the room." She would not look at "Fosco," +the poodle, but sat throughout his performance with her back toward him, +the picture of offended dignity. Just as soon, however, as he was fairly +out of the house, and not until then, she escorted "Gipsy" back to her +rug. My father was intensely amused by this behaviour of "Bouncer's" and +delighted in telling this story about her. + +"Mrs. Bouncer" was honored by many messages from her master during his +absences from home. Here is one written as I was convalescing from a +serious illness: "In my mind's eye I behold 'Mrs. Bouncer,' still with +some traces of anxiety on her faithful countenance, balancing herself a +little unequally on her forelegs, pricking up her ears with her head on +one side, and slightly opening her intellectual nostrils. I send my +loving and respectful duty to her." Again: "Think of my dreaming of +'Mrs. Bouncer,' each night!!!" + +My father's love for dogs led him into a strange friendship during our +stay at Boulogne. There lived in a cottage on the street which led from +our house to the town, a cobbler who used to sit at his window working +all day with his dog--a Pomeranian--on the table beside him. The +cobbler, in whom my father became very much interested because of the +intelligence of his Pomeranian companion, was taken ill, and for many +months was unable to work. My father writes: "The cobbler has been ill +these many months. The little dog sits at the door so unhappy and +anxious to help that I every day expect to see him beginning a pair of +top boots." Another time father writes in telling the history of this +little animal: "A cobbler at Boulogne, who had the nicest of little dogs +that always sat in his sunny window watching him at his work, asked me if +I would bring the dog home as he couldn't afford to pay the tax for him. +The cobbler and the dog being both my particular friends I complied. The +cobbler parted with the dog heartbroken. When the dog got home here, my +man, like an idiot as he is, tied him up and then untied him. The moment +the gate was open, the dog (on the very day after his arrival) ran out. +Next day Georgy and I saw him lying all covered with mud, dead, outside +the neighbouring church. How am I ever to tell the cobbler? He is too +poor to come to England, so I feel that I must lie to him for life, and +say that the dog is fat and happy." + + [Picture: Mrs. Bouncer] + +Of horses and ponies we possessed but few during our childhood, and these +were not of very choice breed. I remember, however, one pretty pony +which was our delight, and dear old "Toby," the good sturdy horse which +for many years we used at "Gad's Hill." My father, however, was very +fond of horses, and I recall hearing him comment on the strange fact that +an animal "so noble in its qualities should be the cause of so much +villainy." + + * * * * * + + [Picture: To Miss Dickens' Pomeranian "Mrs. Bouncer"] + + + +To +Miss Dickens' Pomeranian. +"MRS. BOUNCER." + + + Furry, lazy, warm and bright, + Peeing from her fringe of white, + She blinks and sleeps both day and night, + + A happy Spitz! + + She need not fear the cruel stick, + Nor has she learnt a single trick-- + Just deigns her mistress' hand to lick, + + As she knits. + + She eats, and drinks, and eats again, + Is never out in wind or rain,-- + Takes many a journey in the train, + + And her admits. + + She has her own coquettish charms, + Knows no sorrows, no alarms, + And dozes in her mistress' arms-- + + A sleepy Spitz. + + How small and piquant are her feet-- + Ben Allen's sister had as neat-- + She looks so saucy, one could beat + + Her into fits. + + Quite ravishing when neat and clean, + Her cars seem lined with crinoline: + She rules the house, a haughty queen, + + A saucy Spitz! + + Just tolerates the frequent hug-- + Snoozing all day upon the rug, + Complacent, philosophic--snug, + + Her paws like mits. + + At dinner--ah! that pleasant Babel! + Touch her paw beneath the table, + She'd bite your foot--were she but able-- + + A naughty Spitz. + + To find her mistress how she flew! + Faithful the coming step she knew + Let others be as brave and true-- + + Lords or Wits! + + When SULTAN, TURK, and LINDA fleet + The lost lov'd Master rushed to meet, + _His_ kindly voice would always greet + + The little Spitz! + + Alas! so furry, warm, and white, + From this cold world she took her flight, + No more on rug, by fireside bright, + + Dear BOUNCER sits. + + PERCY FITZGERALD. + + + + +CHAPTER V. + + +Interest in London birds.--Our pet bird "Dick."--Devotion of his +dogs.--Decision to visit America.--His arrival in New York.--Comments on +American courtesies.--Farewell public appearances. + +The warm affection which was so characteristic of my father toward people +was also directed, as I have already told, towards animals and birds. A +few further anecdotes occur to me, and I have ventured to give them here, +before proceeding to tell of his visit to America, his readings, and the, +to me, sad story of his last public appearance. + +My father's quick and amusing observation of London birds and their +habits, and of their fondness for "low company," is full of charm and +quaint oddity. He writes: "That anything born of an egg and invested +with wings should have got to the pass that it hops contentedly down a +ladder into a cellar, and calls that going home, is a circumstance so +amazing as to leave one nothing more in this connection to wonder at. I +know a low fellow, originally of a good family from Dorking, who takes +his whole establishment of wives in single file in at the door of the jug +department of a disorderly tavern near the Haymarket, manoeuvres them +among the company's legs, and emerges with them at the bottle entrance, +seldom in the season going to bed before two in the morning. And thus he +passes his life. But the family I am best acquainted with reside in the +densest part of Bethnal Green. Their abstraction from the objects in +which they live, or rather their conviction that these objects have all +come into existence in express subservience to fowls, has so enchanted me +that I have made them the subject of many journeys at divers hours. +After careful observation of the two lords and of the ten ladies of whom +this family consists, I have come to the conclusion that their opinions +are represented by the leading lord and leading lady, the latter, as I +judge, an aged personage, afflicted with a paucity of feather and +visibility of quill that gives her the appearance of a bundle of office +pens. They look upon old shoes, wrecks of kettles, saucepans and +fragments of bonnets as a kind of meteoric discharge for fowls to peck +at. Gaslight comes quite as natural to them as any other light; and I +have more than a suspicion that in the minds of the two lords, the early +public house at the corner has superseded the sun. They always begin to +crow when the public house shutters begin to be taken down, and they +salute the pot-boy the instant he appears to perform that duty, as if he +were Phoebus in person." + +During one of his walks through the slums, my father was so fascinated by +the intelligence of a busy goldfinch drawing water for himself in his +cage--he had other accomplishments as well--that he went in and bought +it. But not a thing would the little bird do, not a trick would he +perform when he got to his new home in Doughty Street, and would only +draw up water in the dark or when he thought no one was looking. "After +an interval of futile and at length hopeless expectation," my father +writes, "the merchant who had educated him was appealed to. The merchant +was a bow-legged character, with a flat and cushiony nose, like the last +new strawberry. He wore a fur cap and shorts, and was of the velveteen +race velveteeny. He sent word that he would 'look round.' He looked +round, appeared in the doorway of the room, and slightly cocked up his +evil eye at the goldfinch. Instantly a raging thirst beset the bird, and +when it was appeased he still drew several unnecessary buckets of water, +leaping about the perch and sharpening his bill with irrepressible +satisfaction." + +While at Broadstairs one summer, our bathing woman, who reared birds, +gave a canary to my sister and myself. "Dick," who was only a few weeks +old when he came to us, grew to be a very king of birds, and became in +time a most important member of the household. There was a fierce war +waged against cats during his lifetime, and writing from Boulogne my +father very funnily describes our troubles with the feline race: "War is +raging against two particularly tigerish and fearful cats (from the mill, +I suppose), which are always glaring in dark corners after our wonderful +little 'Dick.' Keeping the house open at all points it is impossible to +shut them out, and they hide themselves in the most terrific manner, +hanging themselves up behind draperies like bats, and tumbling out in the +dead of night with frightful caterwaulings. Hereupon French, the +footman, borrows a gun, loads it to the muzzle, discharges it twice in +vain, and throws himself over with the recoil exactly like a clown. But +at last, while I was in town, he aims at the more amiable cat of the two +and shoots that animal dead. Insufferably elated by this victory he is +now engaged from morning to night in hiding behind bushes to get aim at +the other. He does nothing else whatever. All the boys encourage him +and watch for the enemy, on whose appearance they give an alarm, which +immediately serves as a warning to the creature, who runs away. +They--the boys--are at this moment (ready dressed for church) all lying +on their stomachs in various parts of the garden. I am afraid to go out +lest I should be shot. Mr. Plornish, says his prayers at night in a +whisper lest the cat should overhear him and take offence. The tradesmen +cry out as they come up the avenue: '_Me Voici_! _C'est +Moi_--_boulanger_--_me tirez pas_, _Monsieur Frenche_!' It is like +living in a state of siege, and the wonderful manner in which the cat +preserves the character of being the only person not much put out by the +intensity of this monomania is most ridiculous. The finest thing is that +immediately after I have heard the noble sportsman blazing away at her in +the garden in front I look out of my room door into the drawing-room and +am pretty sure to see her coming in after the bird, in the calmest manner +possible, by the back window." But no harm ever came to "our wonderful +little 'Dick,'" who lived to a ripe old age--sixteen years--and was +buried under a rose tree at "Gad's Hill." + +On his return from his last visit to America he wrote a charming account +of his welcome home by the dogs at "Gad's Hill." "As you ask me about +the dogs, I begin with them. When I came down first I came to Gravesend, +five miles off. The two Newfoundland dogs coming to meet me with the +usual carriage and the usual driver, and beholding me coming in my usual +dress out at the usual door, it struck me that their recollection of my +having been absent for any unusual time was at once cancelled. They +behaved (they are both young dogs) exactly in their usual manner, coming +behind the basket phaeton as we trotted along and lifting their heads to +have their ears pulled, a special attention which they received from no +one else. But when I drove into the stableyard, 'Linda' was greatly +excited; weeping profusely, and throwing herself on her back that she +might caress my foot with her great forepaws. Mamie's little dog, too, +'Mrs. Bouncer,' barked in the greatest agitation on being called down and +asked: 'Who is this?' tore round me, like the dog in the Faust outlines." + +My father brought with him, on his return from his first visit to +America, a small, shaggy Havana spaniel, which had been given to him and +which he had named "Timber Doodle." He wrote of him: "Little doggy +improves rapidly and now jumps over my stick at the word of command." +"Timber," travelled with us in all our foreign wanderings, and while at +Albaro the poor little fellow had a most unfortunate experience--an +encounter of some duration with a plague of fleas. Father writes: +"'Timber' has had every hair upon his body cut off because of the fleas, +and he looks like the ghost of a drowned dog come out of a pond after a +week or so. It is very awful to see him sidle into a room. He knows the +change upon him, and is always turning-round and round to look for +himself. I think he'll die of grief; it is to be hoped that the hair +will grow again." + +For many years my father's public readings were an important part of his +life, and into their performance and preparation he threw the best energy +of his heart and soul, practising and rehearsing at all times and places. +The meadow near our home was a favorite place, and people passing through +the lane, not knowing who he was, or what doing, must have thought him a +madman from his reciting and gesticulation. The great success of these +readings led to many tempting offers from the United States, which, as +time went on, and we realized how much the fatigue of the readings +together with his other work were sapping his strength, we earnestly +opposed his even considering. However, after much discussion and +deliberation he wrote to me on September 28th, 1867: "As I telegraphed +after I saw you I am off to consult with Mr. Forster and Dolby together. +You shall hear either on Monday or by Monday's post from London how I +decide finally." Three days later: "You will have had my telegram that I +go to America. After a long discussion with Forster and consideration of +what is to be said on both sides, I have decided to go through with it, +and have telegraphed 'yes' to Boston." There was, at first, some talk of +my accompanying him, but when the programme of the tour was submitted to +my father and he saw how much time must be devoted to business and how +little, indeed almost no time could be given to sightseeing, this idea +was given up. + + * * * * * + +A farewell banquet was given him in London on the second of November, and +on the ninth he sailed. A large party of us went to Liverpool to see him +sail, and with heavy hearts to bid him farewell. In those days a journey +to America was a serious matter, and we felt in our hearts that he was +about to tax his health and strength too cruelly. And so he did. + +Soon after reaching the United States, my father contracted a severe cold +which never left him during his visit, and which caused him the greatest +annoyance. I will give you a few quotations from his letters to show how +pluckily he fought against his ailment and under what a strain he +continued his work. On his arrival at New York on Christmas Day, in +response to a letter of mine which awaited him there, he wrote: "I wanted +your letter much, for I had a frightful cold (English colds are nothing +to those of this country) and was very miserable." He adds to this +letter, a day or two later: "I managed to read last night but it was as +much as I could do. To-day I am so unwell that I have sent for a +doctor." Again he writes: "It likewise happens, not seldom, that I am so +dead beat when I come off the stage, that they lay me down on a sofa +after I have been washed and dressed, and I lie there extremely faint for +a quarter of an hour. In that time I rally and come right." Again: "On +the afternoon of my birthday my catarrh was in such a state that Charles +Sumner coming in at five o'clock and finding me covered with mustard +poultices and apparently voiceless, turned to Dolby and said: 'Surely, +Mr. Dolby, it is impossible that he can read to-night.' Says Dolby: +'Sir, I have told Mr. Dickens so four times to-day and I have been very +anxious. But you have no idea how he will change when he gets to the +little table.' After five minutes of the little table I was not, for the +time, even hoarse. The frequent experience of this return of force when +it is wanted saves me much anxiety, but I am not at times without the +nervous dread that I may some day sink altogether." + +But as a reward for his unstinted self-giving came the wonderful success +of his tour, the pride and delight which he felt in the enthusiasm which +greeted him everywhere, the personal affection lavished upon him, and the +many dear friends he made. He writes from Boston, _a propos_ of these +rewards: "When we reached here last Saturday night we found that Mrs. +Fields had not only garnished the room with flowers, but also with holly +(with real red berries), and festoons of moss dependent from the +looking-glasses and picture-frames. The homely Christmas look of the +place quite affected us." + +Later, from Washington: "I couldn't help laughing at myself on my +birthday here; it was observed as much as though I were a little boy. +Flowers and garlands of the most exquisite kind, arranged in all manner +of green baskets, bloomed over the room; letters, radiant with good +wishes, poured in. Also, by hands unknown, the hall at night was +decorated; and after 'Boots at the Holly Tree Inn' the audience rose, +great people and all, standing and cheering until I went back to the +table and made them a little speech." + +He wrote home constantly, giving frequent commissions for improvements at +"Gad's Hill," to be made before his return. He was much impressed on his +second visit, as on his first, I remember, with the beauty of the +American women. "The ladies are remarkably handsome," he wrote. + + [Picture: The Empty Chair] + +In the autumn of 1869 he began a series of farewell readings, which were +another heavy tax upon his health and strength. During his tour at this +time he writes to Mr. Forster after some rather alarming symptoms had +developed: "I told Beard, a year after the Staplehurst accident, that I +was certain that my heart had been fluttered and wanted a little helping. +This the stethoscope confirmed; and considering the immense exertion I am +undergoing, and the constant jarring of express trains, the case seems to +me quite intelligible. Don't say anything in the 'Gad's' direction about +my being a little out of sorts. I have broached the matter, of course, +but very lightly." + +But even such warning as this failed to make him realize how much less +was his strength, and with indomitable courage and spirit he continued +his tour. The trouble in his feet increased, and his sufferings from +this cause were very great. It became necessary at one time for him to +have a physician in attendance upon him at every reading. But in spite +of his perseverance, he became so ill that the readings had to be +stopped. + + + + +CHAPTER VI. + + +Last words spoken in public.--A railroad accident in 1865.--At home after +his American visit.--"Improvements" at "Gad's Hill."--At "Gad's Hill" +once more.--The closing days of his life.--Burial at Westminster. + +My father gave his last reading in St. James' Hall, London, on the +fifteenth of March. The programme included "The Christmas Carol" and the +"Trial" from "Pickwick." The hall was packed by an enormous audience, +and he was greeted with all the warmth which the personal affection felt +for the reader inspired. We all felt very anxious for him, fearing that +the excitement and emotion which must attend upon his public farewell +would have a bad effect upon him. But it had no immediate result, at any +rate, much to our relief. + +I do not think that my father ever--and this is saying a great +deal--looked handsomer nor read with more ability than on this, his last +appearance. Mr. Forster writes: "The charm of his reading was at its +height when he shut the volume of 'Pickwick' and spoke in his own person. +He said that for fifteen years he had been reading his own books to +audiences whose sensitive and kindly recognition of them had given him +instruction and enjoyment in his art such as few men could have had; but +that he nevertheless thought it well now to retire upon older +associations, and in future to devote himself exclusively to the calling +which first made him known. 'In but two short weeks from this time I +hope that you may enter in your own homes on a new series of readings, at +which my assistance will be indispensable; but from these garish lights I +vanish now, for evermore, with a heartfelt, grateful, respectful, +affectionate farewell.'" + +There was a dead silence as my father turned away, much moved; and then +came from the audience such a burst and tumult of cheers and applause as +were almost too much to bear, mixed as they were with personal love and +affection for the man before them. He returned with us all to "Gad's +Hill," very happy and hopeful, under the temporary improvement which the +rest and peace of his home brought him, and he settled down to his new +book, "Edwin Drood," with increased pleasure and interest. + +His last public appearances were in April. On the fifth he took the +chair at the News-venders' dinner. On the thirtieth he returned thanks +for "Literature" at the Royal Academy banquet. In this speech he alluded +to the death of his old friend, Mr. Daniel Maclise, winding up thus: "No +artist, of whatsoever denomination, I make bold to say, ever went to his +rest leaving a golden memory more pure from dross, or having devoted +himself with a truer chivalry to the art-goddess whom he worshipped." +These words, with the old, true, affectionate ring in them, were the last +spoken by my father in public. + +About 1865 my dear father's health began to give way, a peculiar +affection of the foot which frequently caused him the greatest agony and +suffering, appearing about this time. Its real cause--overwork--was not +suspected either by his physicians or himself, his vitality seeming +something which could not wear out; but, although he was so active and +full of energy, he was never really strong, and found soon that he must +take more in the way of genuine recreation. He wrote me from France +about this time: "Before I went away I had certainly worked myself into a +damaged state. But the moment I got away I began, thank God, to get +well. I hope to profit from this experience, and to make future dashes +from my desk before I need them." + +It was while on his way home after this trip that he was in the terrible +railroad accident to which he afterwards referred in a letter to a +friend, saying, that his heart had never been in good condition after +that accident. It occurred on the ninth of June, a date which five years +later was the day of his death. + +He wrote describing his experiences: "I was in the only carriage which +did not go over into the stream. It was caught upon the turn by some of +the ruin of the bridge, and became suspended and balanced in an +apparently impossible manner. Two ladies were my fellow-passengers, an +old one and a young one. This is exactly what passed--you may judge from +it the length of our suspense: Suddenly we were off the rail and beating +the ground as the car of a half-emptied balloon might. The old lady +cried out 'My God!' and the young one screamed. I caught hold of them +both (the old lady sat opposite, and the young one on my left) and said: +'We can't help ourselves, but we can be quiet and composed. Pray, don't +cry out!' The old lady immediately answered: 'Thank you, rely upon me. +Upon my soul I will be quiet.' We were then all tilted down together in +a corner of the carriage, which then stopped. I said to them thereupon: +'You may be sure nothing worse can happen; our danger must be over. Will +you remain here without stirring while I get out of the window?' They +both answered quite collectedly 'Yes,' and I got out without the least +notion of what had happened. Fortunately I got out with great caution, +and stood upon the step. Looking down I saw the bridge gone, and nothing +below me but the line of rail. Some people in the other two compartments +were madly trying to plunge out at a window, and had no idea that there +was an open, swampy field fifteen feet down below them, and nothing else. +The two guards (one with his face cut) were running up and down on the +down-track of the bridge (which was not torn up) quite wildly. I called +out to them: 'Look at me! Do stop an instant and look at me, and tell me +whether you don't know me?' One of them answered: 'We know you very +well, Mr. Dickens.' 'Then,' I said, 'my good fellow, for God's sake, +give me your key, and send one of those laborers here, and I'll empty +this carriage.' We did it quite safely, by means of a plank or two, and +when it was done I saw all the rest of the train, except the two baggage +vans, down the stream. I got into the carriage again for my brandy +flask, took off my travelling hat for a basin, climbed down the +brickwork, and filled my hat with water. Suddenly I came upon a +staggering man, covered with blood (I think he must have been flung clean +out of his carriage), with such a frightful cut across the skull that I +couldn't bear to look at him. I poured some water over his face, and +gave him some to drink, then gave him some brandy, and laid him down on +the grass. + +He said 'I am gone,' and died afterwards. Then I stumbled over a lady +lying on her back against a little pollard tree, with the blood streaming +over her face (which was lead color) in a number of distinct little +streams from the head. I asked her if she could swallow a little brandy, +and she just nodded, and I gave her some and left her for somebody else. +The next time I passed her she was dead. Then a man examined at the +inquest yesterday (who evidently had not the least remembrance of what +really passed) came running up to me and implored me to help him find his +wife, who was afterward found dead. No imagination can conceive the ruin +of the carriages, or the extraordinary weights under which the people +were lying, or the complications into which they were twisted up among +iron and wood, and mud and water. I am keeping very quiet here." + +This letter was written from "Gad's Hill" four days after the accident. +We were spared any anxiety about our father, as we did not hear of the +accident until after we were with him in London. With his usual care and +thoughtfulness he had telegraphed to his friend Mr. Wills, to summon us +to town to meet him. The letter continues: "I have, I don't know what to +call it, constitutional (I suppose) presence of mind, and was not the +least fluttered at the time. I instantly remembered that I had the MS. +of a number with me, and clambered back into the carriage for it. But in +writing these scanty words of recollection I feel the shake, and am +obliged to stop." + +We heard, afterwards, how helpful he had been at the time, ministering to +the dying! How calmly and tenderly he cared for the suffering ones about +him! + +But he never recovered entirely from the shock. More than a year later +he writes: "It is remarkable that my watch (a special chronometer) has +never gone quite correctly since, and to this day there sometimes comes +over me, on a railway and in a hansom-cab, or any sort of conveyance, for +a few seconds, a vague sense of dread that I have no power to check. It +comes and passes, but I cannot prevent its coming." + +I have often seen this dread come upon him, and on one occasion, which I +especially recall, while we were on our way from London to our little +country station "Higham," where the carriage was to meet us, my father +suddenly clutched the arms of the railway carriage seat, while his face +grew ashy pale, and great drops of perspiration stood upon his forehead, +and though he tried hard to master the dread, it was so strong that he +had to leave the train at the next station. The accident had left its +impression upon the memory, and it was destined never to be effaced. The +hours spent upon railroads were thereafter often hours of pain to him. I +realized this often while travelling with him, and no amount of assurance +could dispel the feeling. + +Early in May of 1868, we had him safely back with us, greatly +strengthened and invigorated by his ocean journey home, and I think he +was never happier at "Gad's Hill" than during his last two years there. + +During that time he had a succession of guests, and none were more +honored, nor more heartily welcomed, than his American friends. The +first of these to come, if I remember rightly, was Mr. Longfellow, with +his daughters. My father writes describing a picnic which he gave them; +"I turned out a couple of postilions in the old red jacket of the old +Royal red for our ride, and it was like a holiday ride in England fifty +years ago. Of course we went to look at the old houses in Rochester, and +the old Cathedral, and the old castle, and the house for the six poor +travellers. + +"Nothing can surpass the respect paid to Longfellow here, from the Queen +downward. He is everywhere received and courted, and finds the working +men at least as well acquainted with his books as the classes socially +above them." + +Between the comings and goings of visitors there were delightfully quiet +evenings at home, spent during the summer in our lovely porch, or walking +about the garden, until "tray time," ten o'clock. When the cooler nights +came we had music in the drawing-room, and it is my happiness now to +remember on how many evenings I played and sang all his favorite songs +and tunes to my father during these last winters while he would listen +while he smoked or read, or, in his more usual fashion, paced up and down +the room. I never saw him more peacefully contented than at these times. + +There were always "improvements"--as my father used to call his +alterations--being made at "Gad's Hill," and each improvement was +supposed to be the last. As each was completed, my sister--who was +always a constant visitor, and an exceptionally dear one to my +father--would have to come down and inspect, and as each was displayed, +my father would say to her most solemnly: "Now, Katie, you behold your +parent's latest and last achievement." These "last improvements" became +quite a joke between them. I remember so well, on one such occasion, +after the walls and doors of the drawing-room had been lined with +mirrors, my sister's laughing speech to "the master": "I believe papa, +that when you become an angel your wings will be made of looking-glass +and your crown of scarlet geraniums." + +And here I would like to correct an error concerning myself. I have been +spoken of as my father's "favorite daughter." If he had a favorite +daughter--and I hope and believe that the one was as dear to him as the +other--my dear sister must claim that honor. I say this ungrudgingly, +for during those last two years my father and I seemed to become more +closely united, and I know how deep was the affectionate intimacy at the +time of his death. + +The "last improvement"--in truth, the very last--was the building of a +conservatory between the drawing and dining rooms. My father was more +delighted with this than with any previous alteration, and it was +certainly a pretty addition to the quaint old villa. The chalet, too, +which he used in summer as his study, was another favorite spot at his +favorite "Gad's Hill." + +In the early months of 1870 we moved up to London, as my father had +decided to give twelve farewell readings there. He had the sanction of +the late Sir Thomas Watson to this undertaking, on condition that there +should be no railway journeys in connection with them. While we were in +London he made many private engagements, principally, I know, on my +account, as I was to be presented that spring. + +During this last visit to London, my father was not, however, in his +usual health, and was so quickly and easily tired that a great number of +our engagements had to be cancelled. He dined out very seldom, and I +remember that on the last occasion he attended a very large dinner party +the effort was too much for him, and before the gentlemen returned to the +drawing-room, he sent me a message begging me to come to him at once, +saying that he was in too great pain to mount the stairs. No one who had +watched him throughout the dinner, seeing his bright, animated face, and +listening to his cheery conversation, could have imagined him to be +suffering acute pain. + +He was at "Gad's Hill" again by the thirtieth of May, and soon hard at +work upon "Edwin Drood." Although happy and contented, there was an +appearance of fatigue and weariness about him very unlike his usual air +of fresh activity. He was out with the dogs for the last time on the +afternoon of the sixth of June, when he walked into Rochester for the +"Daily Mail." My sister, who had come to see the latest "improvement," +was visiting us, and was to take me with her to London on her return, for +a short visit. The conservatory--the "improvement" which Katie had been +summoned to inspect--had been stocked, and by this time many of the +plants were in full blossom. Everything was at its brightest and I +remember distinctly my father's pleasure in showing my sister the +beauties of his "improvement." + +We had been having most lovely weather, and in consequence, the outdoor +plants were wonderfully forward in their bloom, my father's favorite red +geraniums making a blaze of color in the front garden. The syringa +shrubs filled the evening air with sweetest fragrance as we sat in the +porch and walked about the garden on this last Sunday of our dear +father's life. My aunt and I retired early and my dear sister sat for a +long while with my father while he spoke to her most earnestly of his +affairs. + +As I have already said my father had such an intense dislike for +leave-taking that he always, when it was possible, shirked a farewell, +and we children, knowing this dislike, used only to wave our hands or +give him a silent kiss when parting. But on this Monday morning, the +seventh, just as we were about to start for London, my sister suddenly +said: "I _must_ say good-bye to papa," and hurried over to the chalet +where he was busily writing. As a rule when he was so occupied, my +father would hold up his cheek to be kissed, but this day he took my +sister in his arms saying: "God bless you, Katie," and there, "among the +branches of the trees, among the birds and butterflies and the scent of +flowers," she left him, never to look into his eyes again. + +In the afternoon, feeling fatigued, and not inclined to much walking, he +drove with my aunt into Cobham. There he left the carriage and walked +home through the park. After dinner he remained seated in the +dining-room, through the evening, as from that room he could see the +effect of some lighted Chinese lanterns, which he had hung in the +conservatory during the day, and talked to my aunt about his great love +for "Gad's Hill," his wish that his name might become more associated +with the place, and his desire to be buried near it. + +On the morning of the eighth he was in excellent spirits, speaking of his +book, at which he intended working through the day and in which he was +most intensely interested. He spent a busy morning in the chalet, and it +must have been then that he wrote that description of Rochester, which +touched our hearts when we read it for the first time after its writer +lay dead: "Brilliant morning shines on the old city. Its antiquities and +ruins are surpassingly beautiful with the lusty ivy gleaming in the sun +and the rich trees waving in the balmy air. Changes of glorious light +from moving boughs, songs of birds, scents from gardens, woods and +fields, or rather, from the one great garden of the whole cultivated +island in its yielding time, penetrate into the cathedral, subdue its +earthly odor, and preach the Resurrection and the Life." + +He returned to the house for luncheon, seemingly perfectly well and +exceedingly cheerful and hopeful. He smoked a cigar in his beloved +conservatory, and went back to the chalet. When he came again to the +house, about an hour before the time fixed for an early dinner, he was +tired, silent and abstracted, but as this was a mood very usual to him +after a day of engrossing work, it caused no alarm nor surprise to my +aunt, who happened to be the only member of the family at home. While +awaiting dinner he wrote some letters in the library and arranged some +trifling business matters, with a view to his departure for London the +following morning. + + * * * * * + +It was not until they were seated at the dinner-table that a striking +change in the color and expression of his face startled my aunt. Upon +her asking him if he were ill, he answered "Yes, very ill; I have been +very ill for the last hour." But when she said that she would send for a +physician he stopped her, saying that he would go on with dinner, and +afterward to London. + +He made an earnest effort to struggle against the seizure which was fast +coming over him, and continued to talk, but incoherently and very +indistinctly. It being now evident that he was in a serious condition, +my aunt begged him to go to his room before she sent for medical aid. +"Come and lie down," she entreated. "Yes, on the ground," he answered +indistinctly. These were the last words that he uttered. As he spoke, +he fell to the floor. A couch was brought into the dining-room, on which +he was laid, a messenger was dispatched for the local physician, +telegrams were sent to all of us and to Mr. Beard. This was at a few +minutes after six o'clock. I was dining at a house some little distance +from my sister's home. Dinner was half over when I received a message +that she wished to speak to me. I found her in the hall with a change of +dress for me and a cab in waiting. Quickly I changed my gown, and we +began the short journey which brought us to our so sadly-altered home. +Our dear aunt was waiting for us at the open door, and when I saw her +face I think the last faint hope died within me. + +All through the night we watched him--my sister on one side of the couch, +my aunt on the other, and I keeping hot bricks to the feet which nothing +could warm, hoping and praying that he might open his eyes and look at +us, and know us once again. But he never moved, never opened his eyes, +never showed a sign of consciousness through all the long night. On the +afternoon of the ninth the celebrated London physician, Dr. Russell +Reynolds, (recently deceased), was summoned to a consultation by the two +medical men in attendance, but he could only confirm their hopeless +verdict. Later, in the evening of this day, at ten minutes past six, we +saw a shudder pass over our dear father, he heaved a deep sigh, a large +tear rolled down his face and at that instant his spirit left us. As we +saw the dark shadow pass from his face, leaving it so calm and beautiful +in the peace and majesty of death, I think there was not one of us who +would have wished, could we have had the power, to recall his spirit to +earth. + + * * * * * + +I made it my duty to guard the beloved body as long as it was left to us. +The room in which my dear father reposed for the last time was bright +with the beautiful fresh flowers which were so abundant at this time of +the year, and which our good neighbours sent to us so frequently. The +birds were singing all about and the summer sun shone brilliantly. + + "And may there be no sadness of farewell + When I embark. + For though when from out our bourne of Time and Place + The flood may bear me far, + I hope to see my Pilot face to face + When I have crossed the bar.' + +Those exquisite lines of Lord Tennyson's seem so appropriate to my +father, to his dread of good-byes, to his great and simple faith, that I +have ventured to quote them here. + + * * * * * + +On the morning after he died, we received a very kind visit from Sir John +Millais, then Mr. Millais, R.A. and Mr. Woolner, R.A. Sir John made a +beautiful pencil drawing of my father, and Mr. Woolner took a cast of his +head, from which he afterwards modelled a bust. The drawing belongs to +my sister, and is one of her greatest treasures. It is, like all Sir +John's drawings, most delicate and refined, and the likeness absolutely +faithful to what my father looked in death. + + * * * * * + +You remember that when he was describing the illustrations of Little +Nell's death-bed he wrote: "I want it to express the most beautiful +repose and tranquillity, and to have something of a happy look, if death +can." Surely this was what his death-bed expressed--infinite happiness +and rest. + +As my father had expressed a wish to be buried in the quiet little +church-yard at Shorne, arrangements were made for the interment to take +place there. This intention was, however, abandoned, in consequence of a +request from the Dean and chapter of Rochester Cathedral that his bones +might repose there. A grave was prepared and everything arranged when it +was made known to us, through Dean Stanley, that there was a general and +very earnest desire that he should find his last resting-place in +Westminster Abbey. To such a tribute to our dear father's memory we +could make no possible objection, although it was with great regret that +we relinquished the plan to lay him in a spot so closely identified with +his life and works. + +The only stipulation which was made in connection with the burial at +Westminster Abbey was that the clause in his will which read: "I +emphatically direct that I be buried in an inexpensive, unostentatious +and and strictly private manner," should be strictly adhered to, as it +was. + +At midday on the fourteenth of June a few friends and ourselves saw our +dear one laid to rest in the grand old cathedral. Our small group in +that vast edifice seemed to make the beautiful words of our beautiful +burial service even more than usually solemn and touching. Later in the +day, and for many following days, hundreds of mourners flocked to the +open grave, and filled the deep vault with flowers. And even after it +was closed Dean Stanley wrote: "There was a constant pressure to the spot +and many flowers were strewn upon it by unknown hands, many tears shed +from unknown eyes." + + [Picture: Charles Dickens' Grave] + +And every year on the ninth of June and on Christmas day we find other +flowers strewn by other unknown hands on that spot so sacred to us, as to +all who knew and loved him. And every year beautiful bright-coloured +leaves are sent to us from across the Atlantic, to be placed with our own +flowers on that dear grave; and it is twenty-six years now since my +father died! + +And for his epitaph what better than my father's own words: + + "Of the loved, revered and honoured head, thou canst not turn one + hair to thy dread purposes, nor make one feature odious. It is not + that the hand is heavy and will fall down when released; it is not + that the heart and pulse are still; but that the hand was open, + generous and true, the heart brave, warm and tender, and the pulse a + man's. Strike! shadow, strike! and see his good deeds springing from + the wound, to sow the world with life immortal." + + THE END. + + [Picture: Ex Libris Roxburghe Press] + + + + +Footnotes: + + +{15} When I write about my aunt, or "Auntie," as no doubt I may often +have occasion to do, it is of the aunt _par excellence_, Georgina +Hogarth. She has been to me ever since I can remember anything, and to +all of us, the truest, best and dearest friend, companion and counsellor. +To quote my father's own words: "The best and truest friend man ever +had." + + + + +***END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK MY FATHER AS I RECALL HIM*** + + +******* This file should be named 27234.txt or 27234.zip ******* + + +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: +http://www.gutenberg.org/dirs/2/7/2/3/27234 + + + +Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions +will be renamed. + +Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no +one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation +(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without +permission and without paying copyright royalties. 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