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+The Project Gutenberg EBook of 'Brother Bosch', an Airman's Escape from
+Germany, by Gerald Featherstone Knight
+
+This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with
+almost no restrictions whatsoever.  You may copy it, give it away or
+re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included
+with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org
+
+
+Title: 'Brother Bosch', an Airman's Escape from Germany
+
+Author: Gerald Featherstone Knight
+
+Release Date: November 10, 2008 [EBook #27229]
+
+Language: English
+
+Character set encoding: ISO-8859-1
+
+*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK BROTHER BOSCH ***
+
+
+
+
+Produced by Irma Spehar and the Online
+Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net (This
+file was produced from images generously made available
+by The Internet Archive/American Libraries.)
+
+
+
+
+
+                            "BROTHER BOSCH"
+
+                    AN AIRMAN'S ESCAPE FROM GERMANY
+
+                                  BY
+
+                        CAPTAIN KNIGHT, R.A.F.
+
+
+                                 1919
+                       LONDON: WILLIAM HEINEMANN
+                   _London: William Heinemann, 1919_
+
+
+                           To the Memory of
+
+                           CAPTAIN MORRITT,
+                           LIEUT. MEDLICOTT,
+                            LIEUT. WALTERS,
+
+               AND ALL OTHER OFFICERS, N.C.O.'S AND MEN,
+                      WHO, BEING LESS FORTUNATE,
+                  GAVE THEIR LIVES IN THE ENDEAVOUR.
+
+
+    Belov�d Country! banished from thy shore,
+    A stranger in this prison house of clay,
+    The exiled spirit weeps and sighs for thee!
+    Heavenward the bright perfections I adore
+    Direct, and the sure promise cheers the way,
+    That, whither love aspires, there shall my dwelling be.
+
+                                              _Longfellow._
+
+
+
+
+                                 NOTE
+
+"The spelling of the word 'Bosch' was the customary one in the German
+prisoners' camps from which the author made his escape, and is
+retained for the sake of local colour."
+
+
+                                ERRATA
+
+     P. 25, line 6 from bottom, _for_ "_weis_" _read_ "_weiss_."
+
+     P. 43, line 14, _for_ "balolaika" _read_ "balalaika."
+
+     P. 47, line 10 and p. 55, line 16, _for_ "_Weiswein_" _read_
+            "_Weisswein_."
+
+     P. 51, line 7, _for_ "Hammelin" _read_ "Hameln."
+
+     P. 126, line 20, _for_ "Pupchen" _read_ "P�ppchen."
+
+     P. 159, line 16, _for_ "Briefeasten" _read_ "Briefkasten."
+
+
+
+
+                            "BROTHER BOSCH"
+
+                  (An Airman's Capture and subsequent
+                         Escape from Germany)
+
+
+
+
+                               CHAPTER I
+
+                               CAPTURED
+
+
+It was November 9th, 1916. I lay in a state of luxurious
+semi-consciousness pondering contentedly over things in general,
+transforming utter impossibilities into plausible possibilities,
+wondering lazily the while if I were asleep. Presently, to my disgust
+an indefinable, yet persistent "something" came into being, almost
+threatening to dispel the drowsy mist then pervading my brain. The
+slow thought waves gradually ceased their surging, and after a slight
+pause began to collect round the offending mystery, as if seeking to
+unravel it in a half-hearted sort of way. They gave me to understand
+that the "something" recurred at intervals, and even suggested that it
+might be a voice, though from which side of the elastic dividing line
+it emanated they were quite unable to say. With the consoling thought
+that voices often come from dreamland I allowed the whole subject to
+glide gently into the void and the tide of thought to continue its
+drugged revolutions. The next instant a noisy whirlwind swept the
+cobwebs away. I knew that the voice was indeed a reality, for it
+delivered the following message: "A very fine morning, sir!" Obviously
+my dutiful servant desired me to rise and enjoy the full benefit of
+the beautiful day. Agreeing with Harry Lauder, that "It's nice to get
+up in the morning, but it's nicer to stay in bed!" I am sorry to say I
+cunningly dismissed the orderly with a few false assurances, turned
+over on my side and promptly forgot all about such trivial matters.
+Conscience was kicking very feebly, and just as sleep was about to
+return, the air commenced to vibrate and something swept overhead with
+a whirling roar--an "early bird" testing the air. Galvanised into
+action by this knowledge, I sprang out of bed, and seizing whatever
+garments happened to be the nearest, was half dressed before I had
+even time to yawn! Then snatching up my map, coat, hat, and goggles, I
+burst from the hut and began slithering along the duck-boards towards
+the hangars, at the same time endeavouring to fasten the unwilling
+hooks of my Flying Corps tunic and devoutly hoping that I should not
+be late for the bomb raid. For weeks we had been standing by for this
+raid in particular, the object of which was to bomb Douai aerodrome.
+This was a particularly warm spot to fly over, for in these days it
+was regarded as the home of "Archies" and the latest hostile aircraft.
+It is, therefore, not surprising that the general feeling of the
+squadron was that the sooner it was over the better for all concerned.
+Arrived at the sheds I was relieved to find that I was in good time,
+at all events. The machines (two-seater artillery machines, then
+commonly known as "Quirks") were lined up on the aerodrome with bomb
+racks loaded, their noses to the wind, awaiting the signal to ascend.
+I saluted the C.O., waved to a friend or two and climbed into the
+pilot's seat of my waiting machine. Then, adjusting the levers, I
+signified to the waiting mechanics that I was ready for them to "suck
+in" (an operation necessary prior to the starting of the engine).
+Having made sure that everything was O.K. and waited for the others to
+ascend, I took off and, after climbing steadily for some time, took up
+my specified position in the formation. For some time we circled about
+over a pre-arranged rendezvous, until joined by an escort of fighting
+machines and another squadron of bombers, and then settled down to
+business. Flying straight into the sun we soon arrived at and passed
+over the irregular spidery lines of trenches (those on Vimy Ridge
+showing up particularly clearly), and continued forging ahead, past
+many familiar landmarks, always in the direction of Douai. I for one
+never dreamt of being taken prisoner and had every intention of making
+a record breakfast on my return. My engine was going rather badly, but
+the odds were that it would see me through. Only too soon the
+anti-aircraft started their harassing fire, throwing up a startling
+number of nerve-racking, high explosive shells, each one a curling
+black sausage of hate and steel splinters. When we were some way over
+my machine lagged behind the rest. The engine spluttered
+intermittently and could not be induced to go at all well. As my
+machine became more isolated I cast anxious glances about and was soon
+rewarded by seeing two wicked little enemy scouts waiting for an easy
+prey (at that time they did not usually attack a formation, but waited
+behind for the likes o' me). While one scout attracted my attention on
+the left and I was engaged in keeping him off by firing occasional
+bursts, a machine gun opened fire with a deafening clatter at
+point-blank range from behind. In an instant the surrounding air
+became full of innumerable tiny, brilliant flames, passing me at an
+incredible speed like minute streaks of lightning, each one giving
+forth a curious staccato whistling crack as it plunged through or
+beside the tormented machine, leaving in its wake a thin curling line
+of blue smoke. I was in the middle of a relentless storm of burning
+tracer bullets, vying one with the other for the honour of passing
+through the petrol tank, thereby converting my machine into a seething
+furnace. Having no observer to defend my tail I turned steeply to meet
+my new adversary. However, before completing the manoeuvre I
+received another deadly burst of fire, which, though it somehow missed
+me, shot away several of my control wires. What happened next I cannot
+be sure, but the machine seemed to turn over, and my machine gun fell
+off with a crash. This took place at an altitude of six thousand feet.
+My next impression was that I seemed to be in the centre of a whirling
+vortex, around which all creation revolved at an extraordinary speed,
+and realised that my trusty steed was indulging in a particularly
+violent "spinning nose dive." A "spin" at the best of times rather
+takes one's breath away, so, shutting the throttle, I endeavoured to
+come out of it in the usual way. To my surprise, the engine refused to
+slow down, or any of the controls to respond, except one, which only
+tended to make matters worse.
+
+The one thing left to be done was to "switch off" and trust to luck.
+This, however, was more easily decided on than accomplished, for by
+this time the machine was plunging to earth so rapidly, with the
+engine full on, that I felt as if I were tied to a peg-top, which was
+being hurled downwards with irresistible force. Fighting blindly
+against the tremendous air-pressure, which rendered me hardly able to
+move, I forced my left arm, inch by inch, along the edge of the
+"cockpit" until I succeeded in turning the switch lever downwards. A
+glance at the speedometer did not reassure me, the poor thing seemed
+very much overworked. Descending very rapidly I kept getting a glimpse
+of a pretty red-roofed village, which became ominously more distinct
+at every plunging revolution.
+
+I vaguely thought there would be rather a splash when we arrived at
+our destination, but at eight hundred feet Providence came to the
+rescue. I heard the welcome cessation of the wild screaming hum of the
+strained wires. After switching on, the engine informed me with much
+spluttering that it was sorry that I should have to land on the wrong
+side, but it really had done its best. I had just managed to turn
+towards our trenches, when the scout pilot, seeing I did not land, at
+once followed me down and with its machine gun impressed on me that
+the sooner I landed the better. As I was then a long way over the
+lines, sinking fast towards the tree-tops, I had no alternative, so
+endeavoured to reach the village green. By this time the machine was
+literally riddled with bullets, though, luckily, I had not been
+touched. Before landing I overtook a German horseman, so thinking to
+introduce myself I dived on him from a low altitude, just passing over
+his head. Well, scare him I certainly did, poor man; he was much too
+frightened to get off, and seemed to be doing his best to get inside
+his would-be Trojan animal. The machine landed on a heap of picks and
+shovels, ran among a number of Huns who were having a morning wash at
+some troughs (or rather I should say, a lick and a promise!). They
+scattered and then closed in on the machine. I ran one wing into a
+post, and tried the lighter, which did not work. I was a prisoner.
+Undoubtedly, the next German communique announced that the gallant
+Lieutenant X. had brought down his thirtieth machine; it is probable
+that this gallant officer had heard strange rumours of what lay behind
+the British lines, but preferred cruising on the safer side. I could
+hardly believe that these grey-clad, rather unshaven men who jabbered
+excitedly were genuine "Huns." I was furious and very "fed-up," but
+that did not help, so turning in my seat and raising my hand I said,
+"_Gutten Morgen_." This surprised them so much that they forgot to be
+rude and mostly returned the compliment.
+
+
+
+
+                              CHAPTER II
+
+                                CAMBRAI
+
+
+The immediate treatment I received was rather better than I had
+expected. Several officers came forward, and one, who held a revolver,
+told me in broken English to get out. So leaving my poor old machine,
+we proceeded to the village headquarters.
+
+Photographers appeared from nowhere and I was twice "snapped" on the
+way, though I'm afraid I did not act up to the usual request, "look
+pleasant." On arriving at a small house I was received by a German
+general, who looked rather like an Xmas tree, the Iron Crosses were so
+numerous. As I stood to attention he politely inquired if I spoke
+German, even condescending to smile faintly when I replied, "Ja, un
+peu!" At first when I answered a few preliminary questions he was
+politeness itself. He then asked for my squadron number, to which I
+could only reply that I was sorry but could not answer him, whereupon
+he pointed out that it was of no military value whatever, and that it
+was only to assist in my identification in the report of my capture
+which would go to England. So thoughtful of him; such a plausible
+excuse! Of course I remained silent, whereupon "_la politesse_"
+vanished and an angry Hun took its place. He screamed, threatened, and
+waved his arms about, but as I did not seem very impressed at the
+display, he rushed out of the room, slamming the door and not
+returning. Oh, for a "movie" camera! A Flying Corps officer then took
+me in a car to an aerodrome, and told me I should have lunch with the
+officers at the chateau, where they were quartered. Here I met about
+nine German airmen, who greeted me in a typically foreign manner. They
+seemed quite a nice lot on the whole, though I did not know them long
+enough to really form an opinion. Soon a good German gramophone was
+playing and lunch began. The food was rather poor, but champagne
+plentiful. During the meal the gramophone, which was nearest to me,
+finished a record, so getting up I changed the needle and started the
+other side. But it wasn't the "Bing Boys" this time! Strange to say,
+they were quite astonished at this performance, thinking, perhaps,
+that I could not change the needle. Afterwards, at coffee, a
+lieutenant asked me what we thought of their flying corps, to which I
+replied that I thought it was all right. He seemed quite prepared for
+this, and hastily said that I must remember that they had fewer
+machines. I think it must have occurred to every captured airman how
+splendid it would be to steal an enemy aeroplane and fly back, then
+after a graceful landing report to the C.O. that you had returned.
+These flights are not infrequently pleasurably accomplished in
+imagination, but such opportunities do not often, if ever, present
+themselves.
+
+Just before leaving the chateau, I excused myself and got as far as
+the back door, where I had to explain to some German orderlies that I
+was only trying to find my coat. I was taken by car to corps
+headquarters at another chateau, where I saw some young officers,
+elegantly dressed, lounging about. After much useless bowing and
+scraping I was again interrogated by an objectionable colonel, but
+they seemed used to failure, and soon ceased their efforts. A major
+who assisted spoke English well, and made himself quite pleasant till
+I left. On hearing that I was in the Devons he told me that on leaving
+the university his father had sent him to live at a small village near
+Barnstaple, where he had remained for several years. Doubtless, a
+hard-working man of leisure! He seemed a very able officer, but
+decidedly young for a German major. On being told that all leather
+goods were confiscated, I was forced to give up my Sam Brown belt much
+against my will. They seemed very familiar with the movements of our
+troops, and I noticed that though their telephones were rather large
+and clumsy they carried slight sounds very distinctly, so much so,
+that when at the other end of the room I could hear practically the
+whole conversation.
+
+Towards evening the major told me to get ready to go to Cambrai, and
+at the same time said, that as my leather flying coat was also
+confiscated they had cut off the fur collar, which he then handed
+back. This rather annoyed me, so I told him to keep it, which incident
+I regretted afterwards. However, he lent me a German coat, which was
+some comfort. On the way to Cambrai we again passed near the lines,
+some British star shells being plainly visible. What a difference a
+few kilometres make! The Germans depend on their railway transport
+more than we do. Certainly their road transport cannot be compared
+with ours. We passed a few cars and motor lorries, the majority giving
+one the impression that they were falling to bits, so noisy and shabby
+were they. I only saw two or three motor cyclists the whole time, and
+those I did see rode machines of an antiquated pattern. We passed a
+lot of horse transport, nearly all the ambulances in the district
+being horse drawn. Most cars, including our own, were only capable of
+emitting useless squeaks on emergencies.
+
+Soon we entered Cambrai, an old, picturesque French town, and drew up
+at the entrance to the citadel, where a guard allowed us to enter. I
+was then left with a Lieutenant Schram, the intelligence officer, who
+gave me coffee and cigars and plied me with questions. He was very
+anxious to discover all he could about our tanks, and possessed many
+supposed models, mostly not in the least like them. He emphasised the
+opinion that, of course we should not get Bapaume, at the same time
+allowing he thought there might be a moving battle in the spring. From
+his conversation I gathered that they were very familiar with
+formation and movements of most of our Colonial units. The
+_t�te-�-t�te_ at an end, I was taken to my quarters, a bare
+whitewashed room, containing one French flying officer, two British
+lieutenants, if I remember rightly, both in the D.L.I., having been
+taken near Bapaume, and also a Canadian sergeant-major. It is
+unnecessary to say how pleased I was to see them. Some one had
+acquired a portion of an old magazine, which was much sought after, it
+being the only means of passing the time. Our sleeping accommodation
+consisted of two old straw mattresses, one on the floor and the other
+on a shelf above.
+
+Being tired we slept soundly, but in the morning we were horrified to
+find we had not been alone, but that quite a varied menagerie had
+shared our couches with us. Why the blankets did not run away in the
+night I cannot think. The Huns promised to have lots of things done
+but never did anything, in fact, they lie as easily as they breathe,
+even when there is nothing to be gained by it.
+
+A comparatively nice N.C.O. was in charge of us, called Nelson! We
+afterwards learnt that his father had been English, and that his own
+knowledge of England appeared to be confined to an Oxford restaurant.
+One day when our lunch, consisting of black and watery soup, was
+brought up he sympathetically remarked that it was a pity we could not
+have chicken and ham. I wonder what he would have done had some one
+enticingly rattled a shilling on a plate?
+
+During the day we were allowed to walk round the barrack square for
+about three hours with eighty British and a hundred and fifty French
+soldiers, some of whom were daily detailed to work in the town. I
+noticed that the Germans were inclined to treat our soldiers the
+worst, frequently shouting threats at them in their guttural
+language. In the evenings I sometimes managed to get downstairs with
+the men, and in this way was able to join in some impromptu
+sing-songs. Sanitary arrangements were very bad and disinfectants
+unknown. We were allowed to buy a little extra bread and some turnip
+jam at exorbitant prices, which helped us considerably, as breakfast
+consisted only of luke-warm acorn coffee, lunch of a weird soup
+containing sauerkraut or barley, supper of soup or tea alternate days.
+We amused ourselves by carving our names on the table, or by drawing
+regimental crests or pictures of Hun aeroplanes descending in flames,
+in out of the way corners. On being told that toothbrushes were out of
+stock (I do not think they ever were in), I manufactured a home-made
+one on boy scout lines. It consisted of a small bundle of twigs and
+splinters tied together (like a young besom), and though it did its
+work well, the morning sweep was decidedly painful.
+
+
+
+
+                              CHAPTER III
+
+                            ADVENTURE NO. 1
+
+
+After remaining there a week we were told that we should leave the
+next morning for Germany, which we should grow to like very much!
+During our stay, except for a few exciting intervals when British
+machines passed over the town, we had plenty of time for meditation,
+and usually when darkness fell could see by the gun flashes that the
+evening strafe was in progress. This always reminded me of an argument
+which had once taken place in our squadron mess, late one evening
+before turning in, during which I had expressed the opinion that
+should any one with infantry experience be forced to land the wrong
+side just before dark, provided he could avoid Huns, it might be just
+possible for him to return the next night through the trenches. Now I
+felt it was up to me to prove it should such an opportunity present
+itself.
+
+Cambrai citadel is both solid and imposing, and must have proved
+itself a formidable fortress. Crowning a slight eminence, it
+overlooks most of the town. On the three sides are ramparts, varying
+from about twenty to sixty feet in height, while on a fourth it is now
+bounded by barbed wire and high railings, with only a slight drop on
+the other side. At the main entrance the road crosses the old moat and
+passes under a massive archway which adjoins the guardroom. All the
+approaches to the outer walls are guarded by quantities of barbed wire
+and numerous sentries.
+
+After a thorough search I at last discovered a small round hole in the
+wall of an outbuilding near the roof, through which I decided it would
+be possible to squeeze, in the dusk, unobserved by the sentry. The new
+German coat I had received on the way had been again in its turn
+exchanged for an old French one. This I took to the men's quarters
+and, finally, after hunting the whole place, found an old German coat
+hanging up. After bargaining for some time I made my fourth exchange,
+and returned successful. Later in the afternoon an English N.C.O. told
+me that he had heard of my search and presented me with an old German
+fatigue cap which had been unearthed somewhere by his pals.
+
+Now having everything ready I determined to try my luck about six
+o'clock that evening before being shut up for the night. After
+learning some new German words likely to be of use, such as "wire
+entanglements," "dug-outs," etc., I returned to my room and waited. My
+plan was to follow the gun flashes, which in all probability would
+lead me to the Bapaume area, where I expected to find some wire or
+wooden posts, which I should carry with me as I approached the lines,
+and endeavour to avoid suspicion by mingling with working parties as
+an engineer. If thus far successful I hoped to repair the German wire
+entanglements, which in this district were much damaged by our shell
+fire, and eventually slip away and get into touch with our patrols.
+
+At a quarter to six a German flying officer entered our room and
+invited me to dinner at their Cambrai headquarters, assuring me that
+there would be plenty to eat and drink. (I expect after skilfully
+mixed drinks they hoped to loosen my tongue. When a Hun lays himself
+out to be pleasant it is almost certain that in some way he expects to
+benefit by it.) If you wish to realise how tempting this offer was,
+live on a watery starvation diet for eight days and then be given the
+opportunity of a good meal. However, when I excused myself on the plea
+of being a little unwell, "Mein freund" was quite non-plussed. While
+he was still trying to extract information, unsuccessfully, from the
+others, I left the room after pocketing a slice of bread.
+
+Once in the outhouse I chose my time and, climbing up to the hole in
+the wall, squeezed myself through with difficulty, for it was only
+just large enough. When the sentry's back was turned I dropped to the
+ground on the other side, about ten feet below, making considerable
+noise. I was now past the line of barbed wire, but there still
+remained the ramparts to negotiate. Never having been able to see over
+this point from our quarters we had no means of ascertaining the drop
+to the ground below. The corner of the ramparts I was making for was
+under forty yards away, but it took me about three-quarters of an hour
+to get there, crawling on crackling dry leaves under the shadow of the
+wall. The slightest noise would probably have attracted the sentry's
+attention and caused him to switch on the electric light, which they
+all carry slung round their necks. Oh! what a noise those leaves made!
+Just before I got to the wall I heard rather a commotion outside the
+guardroom, and although expecting to get at least a night's start
+before my absence was discovered, concluded that I had already been
+missed. (Afterwards I found that this was indeed the case, as the
+German flying officer on leaving had told the commandant that I was
+unwell; a doctor was then sent up, but I could not be found.) Getting
+up, I ran to the wall and looked over. In the dusk I faintly
+distinguished some bushes below. The glance was not reassuring, but
+"the die was cast," and over I went. I shall always remember that
+horrible sensation of falling. It took longer than I expected to reach
+the ground. Instantaneously there flashed through my brain a formula I
+had learnt at school, _i.e._, that an object falling increases its
+velocity thirty-two feet per second. I now realised for the first time
+how true it was. The drop was somewhere between twenty and thirty
+feet. Just near the ground my fall was broken by my being suspended
+for the fraction of a second on some field telephone wires, which
+broke and deposited me in the centre of a laurel bush, which split in
+half with a crash. It is not so much the fall but the sudden stop
+which does the damage. My breath being knocked out of me and seeing
+several floating stars of great brilliance, I vaguely wondered if I
+were dead, but I was considerably relieved to find that this was not
+the case. No bones broken, only some bruises. As I was getting to my
+feet I heard some one coming down a gravel path which passed beside
+me. Crouching down, I saw it was a civilian, who proceeded to light a
+cigar and passed on. I followed suit by lighting my one and only
+cigarette, and after cutting a stick, entered a darkened street,
+externally a perfectly good Hun.
+
+But even German soldiers are subject to restrictions and I might be
+asked questions. Consequently, my one idea was to get out of the town
+as quickly as possible. I met two French women, to whom I explained my
+position, and asked the nearest way into the country. They were
+frightened and unwilling to talk at first, but when I opened my coat
+and showed them the British uniform underneath, they pointed to a road
+which I followed. Soon the town was left behind and I was making for
+the gun-flashes and crossing a turnip field. Swinging along at a good
+pace the turnip-tops whipped my boots and made quite a noise. Suddenly
+a challenge rang out from a small railway bridge. "_Halt! Wer da!_"
+(On these occasions it seems as if one's heart has been put to the
+wrong use, it being really fashioned to be a pendulum for a
+grandfather clock.) The next second an electric light was switched on,
+but I had already fallen among the turnips, endeavouring to make a
+noise like one (a turnip). Then ensued an interesting silence fraught
+with many possibilities. Did the turnip's voice deceive the Hun? At
+any rate the light was soon turned off, much to my relief; then
+quietly I slipped away. After about an hour's walking across country I
+came to what I supposed to be a stream, showing up in the moonlight,
+with a few bushes growing along the side. Walking parallel to it for a
+few yards and not seeing a bridge, I thought it might be quite
+shallow, so tested it with a stick. Imagine my pleasant surprise when
+I found that it was not water at all, but a narrow white concrete
+path, evidently newly made. I noticed that nearly all roads running
+parallel to the front had a very deep trench dug on the east (German)
+side. Presumably, these were later used considerably when we were
+engaged in shelling the roads. Soon I came to the Cambrai Canal, which
+had to be crossed, and as it was the middle of November it gave me the
+shivers even to look at the dark water. After walking some distance
+down the tow-path, I encountered a Hun. Though not feeling at all bold
+I said, "_G'nacht_," which I felt sounded feeble, though I knew it to
+be the correct thing in some parts of Germany. To this he replied,
+"_Abend_" (evening). (Quite a valuable lesson in the usual custom
+among soldiers.)
+
+Skirting a few houses and a timber yard I approached a large
+well-built iron railway bridge spanning the canal. Climbing over some
+barbed wire I cautiously mounted the embankment. Looking along the
+bridge I saw there were two lines separated by some arched iron
+girders. From recent experience I knew that this must be strongly
+guarded, but reasoned that if I closely followed a train I should in
+all probability find the line free for a few seconds. Presently a
+freight train came rumbling along, and I rushed after it in a whirl of
+air, in my haste almost being knocked down by the end carriages. As
+the bridge was rather long and the train going fast, in a very short
+time I was being left stranded. When I was nearing the other side I
+stopped an instant to listen. It was just as well I did. Not more than
+three yards away, on the other side of the ironwork, a man spoke in
+German and was immediately answered by another, who turned on his
+light and commenced walking towards the end of the bridge I was making
+for, to return to his old beat on my line. There was no time to lose,
+so rushing back on tip-toe and down the embankment I fell over the
+barbed wire at the bottom, which painfully impressed on me its
+disapproval of my conduct.
+
+After following the canal for a few hundred yards there seemed no
+alternative but to swim across, so in I went, greatcoat and all. It
+was awfully cold. At first my clothes and fleeced-lined flying boots
+held the air and supported me, so that I lay on the surface of the
+water as if bathing in the Dead Sea, feeling very ridiculous. But only
+too soon everything filled up and I felt like a stone. Swimming as
+silently as possible, I had almost reached the opposite bank, feeling
+very tired, when I saw something glisten just in front which looked
+very like a bayonet, and a man's voice shouted "_Hier_." Picture the
+situation: a dark but starry November night, Hun sentry guarding
+barges, and a poor wretch floundering about in the water, then you
+will not be surprised that my heart after jumping into my mouth,
+worked overtime again! The Hun thought I was a dog; I must be one
+without delay if I wished to preserve a whole skin, so after a
+spluttering growl I turned back with new energy, swimming like a dog
+and whining softly. After again calling to me several times he threw a
+few things in my direction, which fortunately went wide. I then swam
+round a barge and with a great effort pulled myself out of the water,
+rewarding the Hun, who was now calling a friend, with a final bark. I
+ran across a field with the water pouring from me. I did not think one
+could be so cold, an icicle was warm in comparison! With numb fingers
+I wrung some of the water out of my clothes, and with chattering teeth
+considered the situation. Here I was, still on the wrong side--the
+only thing left to try was a village bridge. Again following the
+tow-path I neared some lights, which proved to be a hospital, and
+found myself in an apparently unoccupied station-yard, among a number
+of large heaps. On raising a corner of a tarpaulin which covered the
+nearest I recognised the familiar wicker crates, which contained
+something heavy. It was an ammunition dump! I soon found the name of
+the station on the deserted platform--Manni�rs.
+
+As I was leaving the dump, thinking of a possible future, and what a
+lovely explosion one well-directed bomb would make, I heard some one
+coming towards me. At once hopping off the road I crouched against one
+of the shell heaps where the darkness was more dense, my weight
+causing the wicker to creak. But the seemingly deaf individual passed
+by and I breathed again. Entering the main village street at a good
+pace, whistling a German tune, I was accosted by two Huns carrying a
+heavy basket on a stick. One inquired of me the way to some
+headquarters. I dared not stop, so turning my head, growled out a
+sullen "_Ich weiss nicht_" (I don't know). They seemed grieved at my
+bad manners, but were soon left behind. Although it was very late a
+number of troops were still singing uproariously in the various
+estaminets which I passed. On turning a corner I saw the village
+bridge and on it a sentry box. While I stood in the dark shadow of a
+house a small party of Germans, carrying saddlery, overtook me.
+Tacking myself on casually behind some of them we all passed over the
+bridge quite happily, and feeling in a cheeky mood I wished the sentry
+"good evening."
+
+Once more I was passing swiftly over the country, devoutly hoping
+there would not be any more canals. Several hours passed uneventfully.
+Some of the concrete paths leading in the right direction afforded
+excellent walking. They were mostly new and appeared to be only laid
+on the mud without any foundation. On a small rise I came upon a
+trench system under construction (probably the now famous Hindenburg
+line), which I examined. The few dug-outs I saw were incomplete, the
+trenches rather wet and shallow and not yet sandbagged. After crossing
+two lines of more or less continuous trenches I inspected the wire
+entanglements, wooden posts (charred, so as not to show up in aerial
+photographs) and iron corkscrews which were already in position, but
+only a little fine and barbed wire as yet, which was quite easy to get
+through. Although the firing had died down it continued sufficiently
+to enable me to keep my direction. Just as I was leaving these
+trenches behind my progress was arrested by a sudden jerk, and I found
+myself lying face downwards full length in the mud. A carefully laid
+wire had tripped its first "Engl�nder"! I was now plastered with mud
+from head to foot, and getting up in a very bad temper determined that
+at least that portion of wire should not interfere with another
+Britisher. After a short struggle I succeeded in tearing it up and
+went on my way somewhat appeased.
+
+The front was now quite quiet, and after many falls, footsore and
+tired, I came to a large wood (the Bois de Logeost) a little before
+dawn. In this I hoped to find cover for the day, but it was full of
+transport, and many dim lights proclaimed the presence of huts. I had
+been walking parallel to it for some distance when a British aeroplane
+dropped some bombs too close to be pleasant, causing quite a stir in
+the wood, shortly followed by an anti-aircraft gun opening fire not
+far away. I have never felt so small in my life, and while tramping on
+in a dejected manner, in imagination I was flying once again over the
+lines, the occupied territory lying below me like a map: but in spite
+of the tranquillity of the scene (for in this pleasant dream not a gun
+was in action) I became conscious of a disturbing element somewhere,
+something was out of place. To what was it due? Then all at once I
+realised that it was all connected with an infinitesimal object which
+wandered aimlessly about among the German batteries, and yet attracted
+every one's attention. Vaguely I wondered what it could be? Then the
+dream slowly faded, and as reality took its place I knew that I was
+that atom! When things were quiet again I distinctly heard plonk,
+plonk, plonk, the sound made by hand grenades, rising from the lower
+ground in front, this was soon followed by the fainter cracking of a
+machine gun and a brilliant Verey light, which I concluded was from
+three to four miles away. All at once, just beside me, there was a
+blinding flash, immediately followed by a deafening roar and the
+screaming hiss of a shell, the latter lasting several seconds, then
+slowly dying away into the night with a sigh. One of the German
+heavies had fired from a neighbouring clump of trees. Had my skin been
+any looser I should certainly have jumped out of it. Very soon I heard
+the distant explosion of the bursting shell--Cr--ump, and then dashed
+off in the opposite direction.
+
+
+
+
+                              CHAPTER IV
+
+                                RETAKEN
+
+
+The country was very bare and the lines so close that there were no
+hay or straw stacks about. The stars were beginning to fade from the
+sky, so hastily retracing my steps for about a mile, in search of
+cover, I almost fell over a tiny straw heap in the middle of a field.
+It was close to a village, but as no tracks passed anywhere near it I
+decided that this should be my hiding place for the day. After eating
+the remains of the black bread, now a sloppy mass in my pocket, I
+emptied the water which still remained in my flying boots and placed
+them in a side of the heap to dry, just below the surface. Wrapping my
+slightly drier overcoat round my feet for warmth, I wormed my way into
+the centre, and pulled the straw after me. The bottom of the heap was
+wet and contained mice, which squeaked when my teeth stopped
+chattering for a few seconds. I tried meowing, but they were not taken
+in for long! Sleep was out of the question, and there was nothing else
+to do but watch the cold grey fingers of light creeping through the
+wet straw. From my knowledge of the front, I gathered that I had
+arrived north of my objective, where the Huns were expecting our next
+attack, and the trenches were strongly held. Had I a sporting chance
+or were the odds against me too great? If the latter was the case and
+it was impossible, I prayed that I might be recaptured before making
+the attempt the next night.
+
+The minutes passed like hours, but at last the sun rose, evidently
+very much against its will. About ten o'clock next morning I faintly
+heard the thud of horse's hoofs approaching at a canter from the
+direction of the village. At first I thought nothing of it, but as
+these grew rapidly louder and louder, my uneasiness increased and I
+lay perfectly still under the straw. The horse came straight to my
+heap, and stopped dead at the German word of command, "R-r-r-r-r"
+(whoa!). Soon the rider uttered an exclamation and, leaning over, drew
+out a flying boot, to my dismay, but as this was wet, muddy and old
+looking he soon threw it down again. In the meantime the horse kept
+sniffing and nibbling at the straw which thinly covered my face, and I
+felt inclined to repeat to myself an old nursery rhyme: "Fe, fi, fo,
+fum, I smell the blood of an Englishman!" As the brute continued
+blowing the straw from my face, I tried to make him desist by
+returning the compliment by blowing back at him. He jumped and threw
+up his head, but now his curiosity being thoroughly aroused returned
+to his explorations with renewed vigour, partly uncovering me. I did
+not move, but knew that the game was up when the rider drew his breath
+in sharply. Looking up I saw surprise written on every feature of the
+bearded Hun N.C.O. He was a thick-set man with a revolver holster at
+his belt. I had no chance of resistance, as the country was quite open
+and my boots were off, so sitting up I greeted him with a "_Gutten
+Morgen_." He saw that I was an English "_Flieger_" (airman), but
+firmly refused to believe that I was an officer. He told me I was near
+Achiet-le-Petit, and then motioned me to go with him to the village,
+which I did. (An account of the foregoing episode appeared in the
+German papers later.)
+
+We went straight to the village headquarters, where there were several
+officers spotlessly dressed in blue or field-grey, against which my
+tramp-like appearance formed a strange contrast. They were quite
+decent, with one exception, a sour-looking captain, and were rather
+amused than otherwise, even allowing a Frenchwoman to make me some
+coffee. When I remarked on the wonderful way in which the Germans had
+traced me from Cambrai, they laughed and said my discovery was purely
+accidental, the N.C.O. having been detailed to find some straw for the
+transport. I was sent back to Cambrai in a wagon with an armed guard
+of three, exclusive of the driver and the mounted N.C.O. I was very
+annoyed on being told that the latter would receive the Iron Cross,
+and tried to impress on them that my discovery was entirely due to the
+horse, who deserved a bran mash. It was bitterly cold and, on passing
+through every village, I was made to remove my coat to show the
+inhabitants that I was a prisoner. I was quite pleased when we arrived
+at our destination.
+
+The commandant received me with a growl, and I was taken to the
+guardroom, where the same Hun N.C.O. casually informed me that I was
+to be shot. In an unconvincing way I told myself this was nonsense.
+The next move was not at all reassuring. I was marched through the
+back door into a tiny courtyard, accompanied by the sergeant of the
+guard and several privates armed with rifles! I am glad to say that
+the bluff was soon over, and I was put into a half dark stone cell. In
+a short time I was fished out to see Lieutenant Schram, who told me
+that I was the first to escape from there, but that I should never get
+another opportunity. He went on to say that when my disappearance had
+been discovered the previous evening, it was thought that I had
+closely followed the flying officer who had asked me to dinner when he
+left through the main gate, until the broken wires were found. Men and
+trained dogs had then endeavoured to trace me, but that,
+unfortunately, they had all gone the wrong way!
+
+When I was taken back at the end of the interview, a sergeant-major
+and a corporal thought they would have some fun at my expense. They
+opened my cell door and then led me to a comparatively comfortable
+room close by, and asked me which I preferred. However, I upset their
+calculations by entering my original cell and sitting down. As the
+result of an argument which ensued I was put into the better room,
+where I fell asleep. This comfort was only short-lived, and soon, by
+order of the commandant, I was put into the original cell again. It
+snowed all the next evening, and when the sergeant brought me my
+watery supper, I asked if he would stand my boots by the guardroom
+fire that night as the fleece held such a quantity of water. He seemed
+surprised at my request, but said that he would ask. He soon returned
+and said that it could not be done. It was four days before I felt at
+all warm, my clothes drying on me all the time. I have since been
+told that Lieutenant Schram, while speaking of me later to other
+captured officers, asserted that he dried all my clothes for me. Yet
+this same gentleman during his first interrogation asked me why we
+English called them uncultured!
+
+On the afternoon of the fourth day I was ordered to get ready to
+proceed to Germany, as enough prisoners had been captured at the
+Beaumont Hamel show to make up a large draft. At the main entrance I
+found a group of about twenty officers, composed of eight or ten
+Zouaves and the remainder British. Then off we went to the station in
+high spirits, for it is not often that one gets a chance of a tour in
+Germany, _via_ France and Belgium, free of charge!
+
+
+
+
+                               CHAPTER V
+
+                               OSNABR�CK
+
+
+Our guards had mostly been selected from different regiments, on
+account of their being due for leave in Germany. The officer in charge
+travelled separately. He had recently been wounded, and had seen
+rather more of the British than he cared; in consequence he was almost
+human! Not yet being dry and now having no overcoat, I felt decidedly
+cold. We arrived late at St. Quentin and settled down for a long wait,
+but our good spirits were infectious and, besides, some of our number
+had with them a surplus of turnip jam, and we were allowed to sing.
+This we did with a vengeance, and it was indeed curious to hear the
+desolate waiting-room echoing the popular strains of: "Pack up your
+troubles in your old kit bag, and smile, smile, smile." This impromptu
+concert delighted the French, who joined in as best they could. Soon
+we had quite a little audience of solitary Huns, who peeped through
+the open door and listened to the "Mad English," open-mouthed. At
+last the express steamed in from the south-east and in quite an
+exhausted condition we were graciously shown in to second-class
+compartments in a way which clearly said "Second class is much too
+good for you."
+
+After a tedious journey, during which we received something to eat, we
+arrived at Cologne about eleven o'clock the next morning. The station
+contained almost every variety of Hun. These people represented the
+cowards who in 1914 had flung stones at and otherwise insulted those
+brave men of our old regular army, who stopped at this station, packed
+in cattle trucks like animals, mostly wounded and dying. Nearly two
+years of war have passed since then, bringing with them suffering and
+a certain refining influence which had not altogether been without its
+effect. Now, though most of them stared rudely, few showed signs of
+open hostility. Following our officer down some steps and winding
+subways, we were approaching a large restaurant, when a rather senior
+Hun officer ran after us, cursing us in German for not saluting him
+when we had passed him on the platform! One of the British replied,
+"_Nix verstand_" (_No compris_). Whereupon he went away thoroughly
+disgusted.
+
+One of our party, a major of the 9th Zouaves, who spoke German very
+well, asked if we might have some refreshments, to which the officer
+acquiesced. We entered a large and almost unoccupied room separated
+from the main dining-hall by a glass screen, and took up our positions
+at a table by the window. Immediately outside towered the famous
+cathedral, shutting out most of the sky, the spires and countless
+pinnacles showing up to great advantage in the sunshine. Soon a waiter
+appeared with a menu containing a list of weird dishes, the most
+popular of which was a very thin slice of sausage reposing on a very
+large slice of black bread. This cost one mark (but perhaps they saw
+us coming!). Great excitement was caused when some one found it was
+possible to obtain goose, but as our very limited supply of money was
+almost exhausted this had to be ruled out. The fish salad when it
+arrived was _peculiarly_ nasty. It was almost raw and had an
+overpowering flavour of mud! Beer did not seem to be allowed, but a
+tip soon settled that, and we all received large glasses of light
+lager. The people in the hall were a funny-looking crowd but quite
+amusing to watch, mostly drinking quantities of beer and regarding us
+with sullen curiosity through the glass screen. The majority of the
+men were ugly and square-headed, with closely-cropped hair, reminding
+one of a group of convicts. Some of the girls, however, gave us
+encouraging smiles.
+
+When the bills were being settled up, there strode in an angry German
+major, complete with helmet and sword, who entered into a violent
+conversation with our unfortunate officer, who stood at the salute
+most of the time. After making a noise like a dog fight he departed
+with a final gesticulation in our direction. We did not know what the
+row was about, but suppose that the officer in charge had been thus
+strafed in public, either for bringing us there or allowing us to have
+beer. At any rate, we were hurried out to await our train on the
+platform. A small circle soon formed round us, largely made up of
+sailors, whom we concluded must be on indefinite leave. As our train
+was steaming up a civilian gave vent to his feelings by fixing his
+evil eyes upon us and at the same time moving his lips with a deadly
+purpose, cursing us inaudibly. I should never have thought a face
+could express such condensed hatred. He must have been conversing with
+his Satanic Master. However, as we only smiled sweetly in return, he
+cannot have felt much satisfaction. Before getting into our train we
+spent our last few _pfennigs_ buying sweets at an automatic slot
+machine. The acquired sweets were wrapped in a paper covering, on
+which different notices were printed, the majority were to this
+effect: "Remember the shameful _Baralong_ outrage, in punishment for
+which our airships shall devastate the Eastern Counties of England and
+destroy London." We showed this to our guards, who firmly believed
+that it would shortly come to pass, and could not understand our
+amusement. A few minutes out from Cologne, as we went rushing over a
+long iron bridge, we celebrated our crossing the Rhine by winding up
+our watches and singing the popular song: "When we've wound up the
+watch on the Rhine."
+
+In the late afternoon the train passed through Essen, the blast
+furnaces casting a lurid light on the surrounding country. Travelling
+northwards we ran into snow, which, when we alighted was quite deep.
+This was our destination, Osnabr�ck. At first it looked as if we
+should have to walk to the camp, but the German officer was, luckily,
+able to hire two brakes, and away we went. Osnabr�ck is an old town
+with a population of about 60,000. We drove past numbers of children
+and dogs revelling in the first winter sports, utterly regardless of
+their country's serious condition. On our arrival an officer and
+several N.C.O.'s took all particulars and descriptions. It was only
+then that I discovered, to my astonishment, that my eyes were blue.
+Next we found a hot shower-bath in store for us, during which
+procedure all our clothes were taken away on the excuse that they were
+to be disinfected. We enjoyed the bath very much and were longing for
+a clean change, but were disgusted to find that this was not
+forthcoming, and that we had to put on the same torn and muddy clothes
+once more, which the Huns had only removed to search. We were then
+locked in a room for ten days and told that we were in quarantine, no
+account being taken of the three weeks or a month that some of us had
+already spent in the German lines. The whole thing was a farce. We
+could then buy a change of underclothing, and daily consumed
+prodigious quantities of Dutch chocolate, also procurable from the
+canteen (which I afterwards bought in Holland for one-tenth of the
+price). Some of the British who had been in the camp for some time
+managed to get books and a little food in to us. A great deal of our
+time was occupied in making out orders for things we wanted from home,
+edibles taking by far the most important part. Every evening after
+supper we always drank the King's health in tea. Though the quality of
+the beverage was weak, our loyalty had never been stronger. When extra
+dull our home-made band played some rousing selection; my special
+instrument required much skill, and consisted of the dustbin lid and a
+poker. The climax was reached one day when the sentry entered with a
+paper from the canteen, announcing that the British claimed to have
+shot down two Zeppelins in flames over London.
+
+Eventually the tenth day passed and we were free to go in with the
+others, who at once made us welcome. Owing to the monotony of camp
+life it is very difficult to write a consecutive account of the daily
+routine, which would be of any interest to the reader. I shall
+therefore only outline certain points under various headings, which I
+venture to hope may not prove a source of boredom, judging from the
+numerous questions contained in letters of enquiry directed to me.
+
+ACCOMMODATION.--The main three-storey building was a converted German
+artillery barracks, with the gravelled courtyards used for exercising
+divided by a disused riding-school. The prisoners consisted of about
+seventy-five French, living on the ground floor, and eighty-five
+British, mostly R.F.C., taken at the Somme, living on the second
+floor, and from one hundred and fifty to two hundred Russians on the
+third. The rooms each contained from four to ten beds, according to
+the size, which we usually stacked two deep so that they should take
+up as little space as possible. With the aid of wall paper, deck
+chairs, tablecloths and the like, obtainable at the canteen, together
+with pictures from home, some of the rooms looked very cosy indeed.
+Each one contained a stove, which at first we were able to keep well
+supplied, as it was possible to buy coal in addition to the ration,
+though latterly there was a considerable shortage. Mattresses were
+either spring or made of old straw, and sometimes contained little
+creepy-crawlies. My record evening catch numbered twenty-five, and
+this little collection afforded some exciting races. By the way, I
+might add that if one puts a match to them they go off "pop." The
+Germans rendered slight assistance, but the Keating's contained in our
+parcels soon got them under way. The sanitary conditions were not
+good, but I must admit to having seen a little disinfectant. Part of
+the time we were allowed a common room of our own, but latterly had to
+share one with the Russians. Washing was sent to the town weekly. A
+medical orderly was on the premises during the day, and a doctor came
+two or three times a week. Before leaving we were inoculated against
+smallpox, typhoid and cholera. This was a most obnoxious proceeding
+which took place every six or seven days, until the doctor had jabbed
+us all six times in the chest with his confounded needle. French and
+Russian orderlies were provided, each detailed to look after one or
+two rooms.
+
+RECREATION.--At first it was possible to play football, but that was
+soon stopped. Rackets, boxing and a sort of cricket were played in the
+riding-school; once or twice a week we organised a concert or a dance,
+theatrical costumes being hired from the town on parole. The Russians
+had a really first-class mandoline and balalaika band, with which they
+played many of their waltzes and curiously attractive folk-songs.
+During these concerts a certain Englishman solemnly sang some new
+Russian songs, learnt by heart, of which he did not understand a word.
+A young Russian used to make up into a delightful girl, who, with a
+partner, danced a cake-walk, accompanied by the blare of their new
+brass band. Mandolines were soon in vogue and most rooms could boast
+of several. As we were mostly beginners the resulting noise is best
+left to the imagination. Whist drives, bridge tournaments, etc.,
+helped to pass the time, and a good many of us improved the shining
+hour by learning French, Russian or German in exchange for lessons in
+our own language.
+
+The winter brought with it many snow fights, and a successful slide
+which I started, though popular, resulted in many bumps and bruises.
+The bottom of the slide led into some barbed wire--which was decidedly
+dangerous. One fatal day I finished the course with three Russians and
+a fat Australian on the top of me, unintentionally making a
+first-class broom; first I passed over a sharp stone, and then came to
+a stop on the barbed wire fence. (Some of the marks caused by this
+episode remain with me to this day.) We had one or two nice walks
+weekly, on parole, escorted by a German officer. One day, during a
+long walk through some pine woods, we had reached the top of a hill
+when we came upon a large slab of rock, about four feet thick, resting
+on two smaller ones, with a broad crack right through it near the
+centre. The German officer told us a legend about this, which affirms
+that at this spot somewhere about the eighth century Emperor
+Charlemagne met some heathen chieftain, who having already heard of
+his feats of strength promised to become a Christian should he be able
+to split this rock. The emperor took up a sledge hammer and with one
+tremendous blow broke the rock in two. (He must have been _some_ man!)
+
+TREATMENT.--When I first arrived the commandant, who was a major, was
+quite popular, granting all reasonable requests and not bothering us
+the whole time, consequently we did our best to avoid trouble; but we
+were in Hunland, therefore this state of affairs could not last long.
+The commandant was soon replaced by a colonel with a white beard and a
+benevolent aspect, though in reality he was inclined to be vicious and
+most unreasonable. He was soon followed by two junior officers,
+Lieutenants Briggs and Rosenthal. The former was an officer of the
+Reserve, one of the nicest Germans I have ever met, and I can almost
+safely say a gentleman. He did all that he could to avoid friction and
+make things run smoothly. Rosenthal was a Regular officer and a
+typical Hun, who was sent round the various camps to make things
+generally uncomfortable for the inmates, in which capacity he was a
+great success. He made promises but very rarely fulfilled any, smiling
+to your face and at the same time arranging to have you punished. He
+crept along the passages in thick carpet shoes after lights out,
+spying on our movements, and was twice discovered listening at a
+keyhole to the conversation. After having been there a month I spent a
+fortnight in solitary confinement for my Cambrai escape, at which I
+cannot complain, and came out on Christmas Day. Later on, while at
+this camp, I carried out two sentences, each of three days, for
+slight offences.
+
+PARCELS AND MONEY.--We received parcels of food and clothing from six
+to eight weeks after first writing for them. For the most part these
+came regularly, only a few being lost. This was a good thing for us,
+the camp authorities often providing for a meal only some raw fish and
+garlic or uneatable gherkins and dry black bread! Trunks, suit cases,
+and other heavy articles came by the American Express and were longer
+on their way. Parcels of food were opened, and the tins taken intact
+to one's individual locker, where it could be obtained most mornings
+at a given hour. As required the tins were then opened by the Huns and
+the contents placed in jars or dishes, which one must provide before
+it can be taken away. Sometimes whole rooms decided to mess together,
+sharing all their parcels, but more often two or three friends
+arranged their own little mess.
+
+Letters at first came quickly, but were often delayed by the German
+censors at this camp, who, I believe, dealt with almost all British
+communications to prisoners in Germany. Money is obtained by signing a
+cheque, which is cashed in a week or two by the American Express. Even
+after America's entry into the war money could still be obtained
+through this company (which is, I believe, German owned). German daily
+papers are procurable at most camps, and usually contain a more or
+less intact British official communique, which is translated by some
+German scholar and posted up. A map of the front is usually kept by
+the prisoners and corrected from time to time. Christmas was
+celebrated by every one and the canteen _Weisswein_ soon bought up.
+The Germans put an illuminated Christmas tree in the dining-hall, but
+unfortunately counteracted their display of good feeling by decorating
+the large portraits of the Kaiser and Hindenburg, who stared down at
+us from the walls and quite spoilt our already nasty food. On New
+Year's Night we collected on the stairs, and joining hands with a few
+French and Russians, sang "Auld Lang Syne," and scampered back to bed
+before the wily Huns appeared on the scene.
+
+One day when drawing our parcels we received some little cardboard
+packets of compressed dates as usual, but this time a small white
+strip of paper was pasted on the outside of each bearing the words,
+"Produce of Mesopotamia under British occupation." This must have been
+pleasant reading for the Huns. At last, one morning we were informed
+that in three days' time we were to proceed to an "All British" camp
+at Clausthal. Before our departure our Allies gave two farewell
+concerts in our honour, which were a great success, for when we left
+they knew that they were losing most of the "life" of the camp.
+
+Living on our floor with a room to himself was a French captain of
+extremely doubtful character; he was a heavily built, bearded man of
+middle age whom nobody liked. I was told that in civil life he was a
+professional agitator! Now he confined his energies to making trouble
+between the different nationalities. He was always hanging about where
+he wasn't wanted, poking his nose into other people's business, and
+what was even more suspicious, he appeared to be on the best of terms
+with the Germans. He wore a long row of medals, which were inclined to
+change from day to day. Some senior French officers inquired if he had
+the right to wear them, but he refused to recognise their authority.
+Some Britishers had also been caught in a mysterious way just before
+attempting to escape. The last night before our departure we thought
+we would at least show him that he was not popular. Over a dozen of us
+burst into his room, armed to the teeth, and holding him on to his bed
+covered him from head to foot with treacle, jam, coffee grounds, ashes
+and water, at the same time doing him no bodily injury. I expect he
+thought his plight more serious than it really was, for the whole
+place echoed with his shouts for help. Unfortunately for him the
+French on the floor above, being greatly pleased at the proceedings,
+only turned over and went to sleep again. When, after a few seconds,
+we bolted to our rooms he rushed down to the orderly's quarters,
+exclaiming, "I am dying--I am covered with blood!" This sounded
+terrible, but when a match was struck revealing nothing but treacle
+and jam they could scarcely conceal their merriment. Later on the Huns
+arrived and succeeded in obtaining most of our names, but even they
+thought the affair quite a good joke. The next morning most of the
+French collected quietly near the gate to give us a "send off," but
+the commandant, after screaming and being very rude to every one had
+them locked in their rooms. He turned his back on us when we left,
+only Lieutenant Briggs having the decency to salute.
+
+
+
+
+                              CHAPTER VI
+
+                               CLAUSTHAL
+
+
+It was just like house moving. The heavy luggage was sent in advance,
+but we preferred to carry our dearest belongings. Many of us must have
+resembled fully-equipped pedlars or super-caddis-worms carrying their
+houses on their backs, but in our case these were not composed of
+sticks or dead leaves, but provisions, gramophones, mandolines, pots,
+kettles, etc., tied together with string, the rattle of which appeared
+to amuse some of the civil population. Some time after leaving
+Osnabr�ck the train stopped at an out-of-the-way station near
+Hildesheim, close to a group of men working on the line. At once a
+solitary khaki-clad figure detached itself from the rest and came
+towards us at the run. It turned out to be a British Tommy bubbling
+over with pleasure at seeing some of his own race to speak to at last,
+after having Russians and Huns for his companions for many months. We
+gave him a summary of the latest news and all kinds of tinned foods.
+The other Russian prisoners soon followed him, looking half starved,
+and clamoured for bread, which we had just time to give them when a
+bad tempered Hun drove them back to their work.
+
+Towards evening we passed through Hameln? (better known to us as
+"Hamelin"), but saw no signs of the Pied Piper. Now there was a man
+who was not brought into the world for nothing, but used his genius to
+the destruction of small Huns! The higher the train climbed into the
+Hartz Mountains the deeper became the snow. From the dimly-lighted
+carriages we could sometimes see the dark outline of high wooded hills
+between the snow flurries. A little before midnight we stopped with a
+jerk and were told to "_Aus_." As I followed the others into a
+restaurant winter garden affair, five minutes after our arrival, I was
+delighted to hear several small gramophones already playing
+"Bric-a-brac" and other selections from musical comedies, each
+insisting that its was the only tune worth listening to. Owing to the
+conditions escape was out of the question; the Germans did not
+therefore worry much--in fact, coming up in the train a rather nice
+N.C.O. at last yielded to my entreaties and sang a verse of the Hymn
+of Hate, accompanying himself on my mandoline.
+
+After standing two hours in a queue at the bar I managed to procure
+some quite good wine which made us feel almost at home. For the rest
+of that night it was almost possible to imagine oneself free, but
+snowed up. The next morning, on hearing that the camp was about two
+miles away, we inquired if some of the larger suit cases might be left
+behind as the walking was so heavy, to be brought up later, at an
+extra charge, by the station sleigh, which came up to the camp every
+day. But we might have known that it would only be a waste of breath
+asking the Huns to help us in any way. (Later, when some very senior
+British officers arrived, bound for this camp, they received
+identically the same treatment.) After an uphill struggle we reached
+the camp, and were kept standing quite unnecessarily for
+three-quarters of an hour in a snowstorm before being admitted to the
+dining-hall. On entering I was lucky enough to run straight into an
+Australian flight commander, who had often taken me up in my observing
+days at my first squadron, then at a village behind Ypres.
+
+The camp is well situated, being almost surrounded by pine forests,
+which cover most of the Hartz Mountains. If the day is at all clear a
+high and rather rounded hill is visible to the eastward, conspicuous
+for its bleakness, standing well above the dark intervening fir-clad
+hills. This is the Brocken, the highest mountain in Northern Germany,
+on the summit of which Goethe's Faust was evolved. It is difficult to
+realise that it is, roughly, 5,000 feet above sea level, or the camp
+2,000. The ascent in this part from the foot hills being gradual, the
+surrounding country is not so imposing as one would expect. Outside
+the camp is a small picturesque lake, which was frozen over most of
+the time. On a clear evening it was fascinating to watch the superb
+soaring of the buzzards. It seemed as if their telescopic eyes could
+make out the wings on some of our tunics, for with a jeering cry they
+would commence gliding in a vast sweeping circle with scarcely a
+movement of their wings, every feather under perfect control, until at
+length they disappeared into the endless blue. We still have a lot to
+learn, but talk of the "homing instinct," if only a few aeroplanes had
+been handy I know which would have made the quickest non-stop flight
+to "Blighty."
+
+The next day a number of Belgian officers left to take up their abode
+in the quarters vacated by us in Osnabr�ck, many of them resplendent
+in their tasselled caps, and a few wearing clanking swords which they
+had been allowed to retain in recognition of the gallant way they had
+defended some of the Li�ge and Antwerp forts. With them went two
+Belgian officers, who, curiously enough, could not speak their lingo.
+This was not surprising, however, as their real names were Captain
+Nicholl, R.F.C., and Lieutenant Reid, R.N. It appeared they intended
+to jump the train before reaching their destination and have a try for
+the Dutch border. German trains often go slowly and stop, but as luck
+would have it this one, as we afterwards heard, refused to do anything
+of the sort. Whether Captain Nicholl succeeded in getting off I do not
+know, but Lieutenant Reid, seeing discovery imminent, jumped through
+the carriage window and broke his ankles. They were both taken to
+Osnabr�ck and Nicholl was sent back under arrest. After three weeks
+Lieutenant Reid returned, lame, but quite cheery. As he was under
+arrest, however, we could not learn much of their treatment, though it
+was common knowledge that he had left hospital _very_ soon, and was
+made to walk up from the station as best he could. His sentence was
+lengthened by some days on the charge of answering his wrong name at a
+roll call on arrival at Osnabr�ck, but as he was quite unable to stand
+this was obviously a fabrication.
+
+When we had been there about ten days a lot more British officers
+arrived from Friedburg, where they had received quite good treatment.
+Many of the prisoners at this camp had been taken at Mons, La Cateau
+and Ypres, and were consequently a little out of date. They could
+hardly realise what a "Somme barrage" was like, and were therefore
+known as the "Bow and Arrow" men! On the journey to Clausthal two of
+them managed to jump from the train and got clear away. About this
+time five Italian officers were warned to leave the next day. The
+preceding night, after supper, Colonel Bond (K.O.Y.L.I.), after a
+short speech, proposed the toast "_Viva Italia_," which we drank in
+canteen _Weisswein_, or imitation port, to which a senior Italian
+officer enthusiastically replied with a "_Viva Inghilterra_." After
+their departure the camp contained British only, the remaining number
+of officers being a little over three hundred.
+
+ACCOMMODATION.--The principal building, in which about half of us
+lived, was a _Kurhaus_, or small hydro, in peace time, with a large
+dining-hall at one end. The smallest bedrooms were occupied by one or
+two senior officers, while the remainder held about half a dozen. A
+shower-bath was on the premises. The rest of us were quartered in
+three temporary wooden barracks, where most of the rooms were rather
+over-crowded, holding from six to eight fellows.
+
+RECREATION.--At a portion of the grounds was a fairly steep incline
+and on this we made a short toboggan run, banking the snow up steeply
+at the turn to avoid going through the barbed wire. In many instances
+it must have been amusing to watch a small sleigh being steered by a
+novice, with fat individuals sitting on the top of him, trying to
+avoid the young trees, usually without any success. Unfortunately for
+me I had a nasty knack of always being in the worst crashes. It is
+impossible to find a more effective way of destroying boots than
+continually steering with one's feet. Other people displayed their
+extensive knowledge of winter sports by ski-ing, or rather lying on
+their backs, unintentionally waving their skis in the air. This soon
+had to be abandoned, however, as the weather soon became uncertain,
+often changing from a hard frost to a violent thaw every two or three
+days.
+
+A naval officer in my barrack received a miniature billiard-table,
+which became immensely popular. Cards, roulette, ping-pong and chess
+greatly assisted in passing the time. We also had quite a good camp
+library, the books mostly having been received from home. I often
+heard it remarked that life there was one long queue, and it was not
+far wrong. Often one passed the morning waiting one's turn for the
+"tin room," or newly arrived parcels, while soon after lunch it was
+customary to see the more patient individuals already lining up chairs
+and settling down to their books, to wait for hot water which was sold
+at tea time. All this may sound most enjoyable, but I will now
+endeavour to explain a little of the wonderful system then in vogue at
+this camp, the only object of which seemed to be to remind you in an
+objectionable manner that you were a prisoner on every possible
+occasion.
+
+TREATMENT.--When we first arrived the commandant was not so bad, but
+after several visits from corps headquarters at Hanover, he resigned
+his post, it is said, on the grounds that he could not treat British
+officers like common criminals, as he was supposed to. I think this is
+highly probable, though I cannot vouch for the truth of the assertion,
+it being only hearsay. He was replaced by a fat and rather harmless
+dug-out captain, who proved to be only a pompous figurehead. The camp
+was entirely run by the second in command, Lieutenant Wolfe. In
+England persons of this type are so rarely met with that our language
+does not contain the necessary words to describe them adequately. In
+Germany they are comparatively common, therefore, collectively they
+may be put down as belonging to the "super-swine class"! Wolfe was
+arrogance personified. He possessed a closely-cropped bullet head, and
+a round, somewhat bloated pale face, near the centre of which gleamed
+two small, cold, calculating blue eyes; the whole effect so strongly
+resembled a white pig that among ourselves he was usually known as
+"pig face." He belonged to a reserve Hanoverian regiment, and was a
+schoolmaster by profession. It is small wonder that children under
+such authority never learn to know the true meaning of the word
+"kultur." Somehow he knew about the treacling affair at our last camp,
+for after getting our names from Osnabr�ck, he strained every nerve to
+get us court-martialled and punished. Two or three times a week we
+criminals had to assemble outside his room at an appointed hour. After
+a long wait "My Lord" strolled in, usually an hour late, walking very
+slowly, chewing a cigar. At first he only produced a small packet of
+papers, on most of which our individual statements were written, and
+asked absurd questions through an interpreter. But as time went on the
+case assumed larger proportions, and the bundle of nonsense increased
+to an enormous size. At almost every visit we had to sign some new
+document certifying that we understood the latest communication on
+the subject from headquarters. After much hard work "pig face"
+achieved his object, and we were warned to attend a court-martial at
+Hanover. However, this is worthy of a separate chapter.
+
+One day an impossible staff captain arrived from Hanover to inspect
+the camp. He was a large, arrogant bully, who brought with him two
+detectives for the purpose of searching our rooms and kit for
+forbidden articles. We will not waste time discussing his manners; he
+had none. The detectives seemed quite decent, and therefore cannot
+have been properly dehumanised by the powers that be. In German camps
+it is forbidden to sit or lie on one's bed during the day, unless one
+has reported sick at roll call. This captain suddenly entered a room
+in our barrack and surprised a Scotsman lying on his bed reading a
+book. Seeing that the culprit had his clothes on, he screamed out such
+a stream of unintelligible curses and threats, that had a similar
+noise taken place at the Zoo, I am sure the keepers would have rushed
+out to stop the monkey fight. The Scotsman waited until this torrent
+had somewhat abated, then slowly getting to his feet, he drawled out
+in a bewildered way, "And how's your faither!" It is doubtful whether
+the startled captain understood this kind inquiry or not, but he
+rushed out of the room and, grabbing a sentry's bayonet, returned and
+stuck it in the boards at his feet. Ours was the next room he
+favoured. Without the semblance of a knock he burst in, and as nothing
+of importance had been found during the search, swaggered up and down
+in a most offensive manner with his nose in the air. In a few seconds
+he came to a stop beside me and shouted that he wished me to stand to
+attention, half dressed as I was (having just been searched). This was
+just about the limit, so pretending not to understand what he meant I
+turned round and busied myself with my clothing, at the same time
+humming softly to myself the air of "Pack up your troubles," to
+relieve my feelings and stifle a desire to give him one under the jaw.
+On a word of command two scared sentries appeared, having been ordered
+to take me to the guardroom immediately. The usually harmless
+commandant was so frightened that he rolled his eyes and screamed
+after me, when exhaustion put an end to the captain's song. It was
+pitiable to see two such men possessing not an atom of self-control
+between them, but it was not so amusing as one might think. It
+certainly looked as if I should be murdered without delay. I was put
+into a room adjoining that occupied by the main guard, where I
+remained for three hours. During this period I got into conversation
+with some of the soldiers and was surprised at the bitter way they
+spoke of Lieutenant Wolfe, so much so that if he returned to the front
+I should be inclined to think that the quarter where his greatest
+danger lay was not in front but behind.
+
+When I had the room to myself I spent the time exploring for useful
+articles. My oft-interrupted search resulted in the discovery of a
+heap of things in the far corner. At length an officer arrived and
+informed me that I should only receive three days' "_stuben_"--arrest
+(solitary confinement). After which I was released. On re-entering the
+camp I did my best to look innocent, though, as luck would have it, I
+was really the richer by a couple of maps, a compass and some candles!
+One of the orderlies in the camp was a cobbler, but though the Huns
+frequently assured us they would provide him with the necessary tools,
+it took two months for their promise to materialise. During this
+period my already patched boots threatened to give out altogether. I
+wrote a note to the commandant, explaining that I was daily expecting
+boots from England, but as these appeared to have been delayed, asked
+that I might be allowed to order some canvas shoes at the canteen in
+the meantime. The next day the interpreter handed me the answer:
+"Order leather from England, and have the boots resoled." I could not
+help smiling, and casually remarked that it was worse than useless.
+Whereupon he snapped, "What, you say that the commandant's note is
+useless? All right, I will you report."
+
+In due course the usual notice was posted up to the effect "That the
+English Ober-Lieutenant Gerald Knight would for gross insolence the
+next three days in arrest spend." Usually, roll call took place
+outside the main building, and as it generally meant standing in water
+or melting snow, was not particularly pleasant. Wolfe very often
+managed to take these parades, and did not miss this excellent
+opportunity for showing his authority. After arriving late he would
+stroll up and down the line, hands in pockets, looking as dignified as
+possible, always wasting time. "_Appel_," when properly conducted,
+never lasted more than ten minutes or a quarter of an hour. On one
+occasion, Wolfe, who was well protected against the cold, kept us
+standing in a blizzard for an hour and a half, during which time he
+counted us five or six times, obviously for his own amusement. It was
+bad enough to have to stand there oneself, but it was much more
+annoying to watch our senior officers, majors, colonels, and a
+major-general, awaiting the pleasure of a conceited German lieutenant.
+Almost every day some new order was issued, for the most part
+affecting little things, for example--stating that in future no food
+would be allowed in the rooms. A few days later it was not allowed in
+the cupboards standing in the passages. Soon it was only allowed in
+the dining-hall, where the accommodation was quite inadequate. One day
+two fellows were quietly walking down a path near the wire, when a
+sentry raised his rifle and threatened to shoot them if they did not
+at once go further from the wire! They refused to move, and told the
+sentry that they had a perfect right there. Whereupon the man at last
+lowered his rifle. On a complaint being made, Lieutenant Wolfe,
+knowing that few people were about, ingeniously squashed the case by
+refusing to take the matter up unless six witnesses were produced.
+There was a second lieutenant, junior to Wolfe (commonly known as the
+Worm!), who arrived after receiving promotion from the ranks. He was
+rather a miserable sort of person, inclined to follow Wolfe's example
+in most things. He was for ever on the prowl and it never occurred to
+him to knock before entering a room. Once he came into our room and,
+assisted by two guards, removed the mirror, shaving tackle, hair
+brushes, etc., from the window, placing them on the wash-hand stand in
+the darkest corner of the room. After this performance he drew himself
+up sedately and exclaimed, "That is the way we do things in Germany!"
+These little incidents are most annoying at any time, but especially
+so when one is wearing boots possessing good kicking qualities.
+
+It was not until May that the snow finally disappeared and we were
+treated to a spell of warm weather, during which every one did their
+best to get sunburnt, and set to work on the new tennis court we had
+permission to make.
+
+Lizards and frogs appeared from nowhere and endeavoured to inform us
+that spring was approaching. It is curious the way camp life again
+makes one childish and easily amused. For instance, it was quite a
+common occurrence to see a small crowd of fellows looking excitedly at
+something. On closer investigation it in most cases turned out to be a
+toad or a worm. As it became dry underfoot we were able to go out for
+walks on parole with a German officer. The stout commandant usually
+took us, and not only did he make himself quite agreeable, but also
+chose some very pretty paths among the various pine woods. One
+afternoon two fellows succeeded in cutting the outside wire in broad
+daylight and getting into the woods unobserved. Seeing his opportunity
+a tall Canadian, named Colquhoun, hastily gathered up his valuables
+and dived through the inviting gap in the wire (which had been
+cleverly cut behind some young fir trees and up beside a post). He was
+just disappearing into the woods at record speed (the sentry's back
+being still turned) when he was seen by some children playing on a
+hillock a little way off. They at once made a noise, and several of
+them rushed down to tell the sentry. That man, however, was much too
+grand to listen to "kids" talking nonsense, so drove them off with
+many threats and violent gestures. When the escape was discovered,
+green-uniformed soldiers of Jaeger regiments and mounted foresters
+scoured the woods for nearly two days without any success. Shortly
+after a notice was posted up stating that when the escaped officers
+were recaptured, they would in all probability be tried by
+court-martial for breaking their parole in looking for hiding places
+when out for walks; this, needless to say, was all nonsense, the
+officers in question being miles away by that time.
+
+This notice could not be regarded in any other light than that of an
+insult to British officers in general, causing much resentment. All
+future walks were voluntarily given up, and at evening "_appel_" all
+parole cards, without exception, were returned to the Huns by mutual
+consent, to avoid any insinuations of this sort in the future. After
+being out for about a fortnight the outlaws were all recaptured and
+taken to Str�hen, where I afterwards met them. The first two put up a
+very good show, being recaptured in an exhausted condition by a road
+guard, twenty odd kilometres from the frontier, much to their disgust.
+My friend, the Canadian, fought a good fight against an unkind fate.
+While washing in a stream one night he was taken by a man with a
+revolver looking for an escaped Russian prisoner. He was then put into
+prison at a men's camp, where he succeeded in obtaining some
+wire-cutters from other Britishers. Forcing his way through the
+skylight into a dark and rainy night, he dropped to earth, cut the
+wire and was again free. The drop previous to cutting the wire had,
+however, damaged his compass, which stuck and led him south instead of
+west. Three days later he was taken near a bridge over a river by men
+and trained dogs, and transferred to a town prison. There I believe he
+received quite decent food, for which he was very thankful. During the
+late afternoon some children came to annoy him by shouting rude
+remarks from the passage. Even these little wretches were of some
+use, for at their departure they touched something on the outside of
+his door which jingled, and turned out to be a bunch of keys, which he
+was able to get possession of by pulling them through the sliding
+panel used by the guard for spying on the prisoner. When it was dark
+the adventurer produced the keys and by dint of much labour succeeded
+in opening his own cell and walking out.
+
+At the back of one of the nearer buildings he discovered a bicycle,
+which he appropriated without a second thought. Having discovered his
+whereabouts he struck north to get into his original line, and was
+unfortunately discovered by some N.C.O.'s the next day in almost a
+starving condition repairing his bicycle in a shed. After such an
+attempt as this it is indeed hard to return to serve one's sentence at
+a camp prison or fortress, knowing full well that, although having
+done one's utmost, even the slightest official recognition is out of
+the question. After the second escape the Hun in charge of the men's
+camp 'phoned to Clausthal, stating that the officer had been
+recaptured. Wolfe hearing the joyous news started out to bring back
+the truant as a lesson to others. "But when he got there the cupboard
+was bare," so he returned to the "Hartz-Gebirge" empty-handed and
+disconsolate. The only really decent German at the camp appeared to be
+an "_aspirant_," or first class warrant officer, who treated us quite
+fairly when opportunity offered; however, his superiors saw to it that
+this was not often.
+
+PARCELS.--These arrived fairly well, but were periodically hoarded up
+by the Huns for a week or ten days, where we could not get them
+without any previous warning. When drawing food all the tins had to be
+left behind until wanted for immediate consumption. It was therefore
+very difficult to lay in a supply against such emergencies. During
+these periods most messes determined, if possible, to have a meal of
+sorts at tea-time. Gradually, as the provisions got lower and lower,
+the menu read somewhat as follows: Tea (no milk or sugar); very
+limited black bread, thinly spread with soup essence, or _caf� au
+lait_ (when the dripping, lard or potted meat had finally vanished).
+The meal itself was rather nauseating, but afterwards it was most
+gratifying to be able to say that you had had tea! When this playful
+little "strafe" was removed by an order from Hanover the accumulated
+parcels nearly caused the death of the Germans working in the
+distributing room. Letters were very slow in arriving. Once a general,
+while inspecting the camp, entered the parcel room, where he saw an
+English captain assisting with the sorting of the parcels. On finding
+that he spoke German well the general advised him to devote his spare
+time to the further study of that language, which he said would be
+very useful to him later. The captain was notorious for saying exactly
+what he thought, and be hanged to the consequences. His reply must
+have been more than the German bargained for: "Sir, I do not intend to
+waste my time learning a dead language!" It is probable that the
+general had had previous dealings with the British, and therefore
+possessed a sense of humour so rare to the Teuton, for he passed on
+without awarding the expected punishment.
+
+
+
+
+                              CHAPTER VII
+
+                COURT-MARTIALLED! AND PROUD OF IT, TOO!
+
+
+It is not usual to boast of the fact that one has been
+court-martialled, but I would not have missed this experience for
+anything. Early in the morning of May 15th, 1917, we twelve
+gaol-birds, after being carefully searched, left for the station
+escorted by eight guards. During the march I began softly humming a
+tune, but was at once silenced by an angry sentry, who told me that no
+noise of any sort was allowed. Turning to the N.C.O. I remarked that
+although he appeared to be in charge of the party he had not objected
+to my behaviour, and added that this seemed almost as if the private
+was exceeding his duty. This appealed to the dignity of his position,
+and although he evidently did not like me, he told the sentry off. On
+reaching the station we had an unpleasant surprise, for there,
+awaiting us on the platform, was our old friend, Wolfe.
+
+In the early afternoon we got out of the train at a small station and
+were told that we should have to wait some hours for the connection.
+The senior member of our party inquired whether it was possible to get
+anything to eat, as it was already very late for the midday meal.
+Wolfe said he would try and led us into the restaurant, where a waiter
+inquired if we would have white or green beans. These dishes sounded
+so tempting that we ordered mixed. When the result was served (beans
+stewed with gravy and a little potato), it certainly greatly exceeded
+our expectations, being really appetising. When this was finished a
+resourceful member of the party produced some cards, and poker became
+the order of the day. The game was still in progress when one of the
+others called our attention to the Red Cross collecting box on the
+table. In trying to decipher the appeal for subscriptions for the
+wounded, he had made a great discovery. Actually beside the red cross
+in a small circle made by a rubber stamp were the words, "_Gott strafe
+England_!"
+
+Naturally, this display of childishness amused us greatly, creating a
+general laugh. This frivolity in the face of a court-martial was more
+than Wolfe could stand, so after one withering glance in our direction
+he turned his back on us and stalked majestically from the room.
+Luckily I had in my possession a good supply of tin canteen money
+(which was valueless outside the camp); this was at once transferred
+to the box as quickly as possible. It isn't often that an Englishman
+has the pleasure of subscribing to his own special hate box! I am
+simply longing to know if the money was eventually returned to the
+camp for its equivalent value. Should this book in the near future be
+read in Germany, as I expect it will, would some kind Hun take the
+trouble to satisfy my curiosity? "Royal Air Force, England," will
+always find me.
+
+About six o'clock that evening we reached Hanover and were marched off
+through some of the main streets to an unknown destination. The town
+is all right; it is the people that spoil it. Proceeding down some
+broad streets we passed some very fine buildings, statues and
+fountains. Once a well-dressed woman unintentionally crossed our path,
+with the result that a sentry roughly threw her aside without a word
+of apology. Passing through a small park we halted before a low,
+dirty-looking stone building, with every window strongly barred.
+
+Presently Lieutenant Wolfe emerged with a smile of welcome and bade us
+enter. In a small courtyard a German N.C.O., with a loud rasping
+voice, ordered the prison guard to take us to our quarters. After
+much jangling of keys we were separated, to our amazement, and each
+one of the party locked in a cell by himself. Near the ceiling was one
+small window about two feet square. On examination this exit proved to
+be guarded with fine wire netting and thick iron bars firmly embedded
+in cement. As usual, there was a special spy-hole in the door which
+had to be covered on the inside. Attached to each end of the bed were
+two strong shackles, evidently intended to fasten the occupant down if
+necessary. We afterwards learnt that this was the garrison prison, it
+being considerably worse than the civil one. It does not seem
+surprising that they are able to maintain their iron discipline, if
+they resort to these methods. I think the reader will agree that this
+is hardly a fit place to lodge officers who, as yet, were only
+awaiting their trial. Several times I faintly heard the whirring of
+aeroplanes outside, but only managed to see one by pulling myself up
+to the window. We relieved the monotony a little by whistling to each
+other in the Morse code what we thought of the Huns for putting us
+there. The thickness of the walls, however, soon put a stop to this.
+During the night I was awakened by several thuds, followed by a crash,
+which came from somewhere overhead. This puzzled me at the time, but
+the next day I found the noise had been caused by one of our party
+rat-hunting with the aid of a boot which had landed on a tin basin
+instead of the rat.
+
+The next morning the man with a voice like a nutmeg grater released us
+from our cells, and after a few preliminaries we were marched off
+across the square to a large building, which we entered about ten
+o'clock. Then ensued a long but interesting wait, during which we
+watched all sorts and conditions of Huns passing up and down the main
+staircase. Amongst them we saw several colonels, a general and a very
+smart monocled major, whose helmet was rather the shape of a
+fireman's, showing that he was in some crack cavalry regiment--dragoons,
+I think. They mostly wore pale blue-grey overcoats, and their buttons,
+sword-hilts and golden eagles on their helmets glittered exquisitely.
+The general appearance was smart enough, but everything seemed a
+trifle overdone, giving one the impression that they had just stepped
+out of a bandbox. Had a British officer been standing beside these
+Germans, wearing his sword, the contrast would have been a strange
+one, for while looking just as smart the uniform would have had the
+appearance of being infinitely more serviceable. There passed quite a
+number of Hun privates with downcast eyes, having just received their
+long sentences. An interpreter having nothing to do, tried hard to
+prove to us that the U-boats would very soon bring England to her
+knees, but gave up the attempt on receiving an invitation to the camp
+to watch the daily arrival of the over-laden parcel cart.
+
+Eventually we were ushered into the court, bareheaded, trying very
+hard to look meek. The opening questions and formalities took up a lot
+of time, and it really was a terrible strain trying not to laugh when
+the interpreter solemnly explained to a German captain that one of our
+party belonged to the _Middlesex_ Regiment. Before getting to business
+our individual conduct sheets were read out, mine being about as black
+as it could be. At our request two French majors from Osnabr�ck were
+present. Both spoke well on our behalf, explaining that this could
+only be a quarrel between the French and British in any case, but that
+they were delighted at what had occurred, and most certainly did not
+wish to prosecute. Everything went in our favour, and, when the
+treacling was described, even the presiding Hun general laughed. The
+public prosecutor, as usual, asked for the maximum punishment, 600
+marks fine or 100 days fortress. Whereupon the court rose and left the
+room, looking justice itself. On their return it was announced that
+the junior three of our party, who had not actually entered the
+Frenchman's room, were let off with a caution, and that all the rest
+were each fined five hundred marks, or fifty days in a fortress. This
+showed how they wanted our money; of course the whole thing had been
+arranged beforehand. On inquiring what the money would go to support
+we were told that it would probably be the war loan. A few minutes
+later, after leaving in a rebellious mood, we were lucky enough to
+meet the two Frenchmen, from whom we learnt that they too had spent
+the night in cells in the same prison. Later on I was given to
+understand that before a subsequent court-martial two British officers
+spent the night on a sort of mattress in a corner of the guardroom.
+
+The return journey was accomplished without incident, except for an
+attempt on our part to speak to a captured guardsman, who was loading
+trucks, which was promptly squashed by Wolfe snapping out "_Das geht
+nicht_." Nevertheless, a tin or two of food found its way out of the
+window.
+
+The weather at Clausthal, after a brief interval of snowstorms, became
+beautifully warm, and the prospect of spending the summer in the Hartz
+Mountains was almost alluring. About this time General Friedrichs (in
+charge of prisoners of war) made a speech in the Reichstag, in the
+course of which he stated that the English treated their prisoners
+better than any other nation (or so the translation read), and went on
+to say that in return English prisoners must receive good treatment,
+so that at the conclusion of hostilities they would take back good
+remembrances of Germany to their own country. In my case things
+certainly did change (I expect as a result of the speech)--for the
+worse. A week later thirty-five officers, including myself, were sent
+to Str�hen, a camp which will certainly be remembered long after peace
+is declared, but I doubt if the memory will be a pleasant one.
+
+
+
+
+                             CHAPTER VIII
+
+                                STR�HEN
+
+
+Previous to our departure Wolfe personally searched our belongings.
+Although a long journey lay in front of us, he only allowed each
+individual to carry two small tins of food. In reply to our protests
+he said that, as things were always well arranged in Germany, our
+luggage would therefore arrive at the same time as ourselves. This
+was, of course, absolutely untrue, but we had to submit. During the
+great search Wolfe, seeing that I was wearing a belt made of plaited
+string (Yes, Mr. Wolfe, the belt in question was made of blind cord
+cut from the _kurhaus_ windows!), and noting that it was something
+unusual, ordered me to leave it behind. Taking it off, I politely
+handed it to him, and expressed my hope that he would keep it as a
+souvenir! With a charming smile he replied, "Three days _stuben_
+arrest," which I acknowledged with a bow.
+
+Outside the camp, on our way to the station we looked back and saw the
+roll call was in progress. Thereupon we gave three cheers for the
+many friends we were leaving behind us, in spite of the fact that
+Wolfe and the commandant were on parade. We travelled second class and
+at one station were even allowed to buy beer; our guards were quite
+reasonable, and things in general went off pleasantly. We stayed some
+time at an out-of-the-way station east of Osnabr�ck, where quite a
+crowd of children collected. They scrambled excitedly for the sweets
+and cigarettes which we threw them. Arriving at a little station
+called Str�hen, which seemed to be on a large moor, we got out and
+started for the camp, the German officer bringing up the rear in a
+victoria. After ten minutes' walking down a lonely road we made out a
+group of low wooden huts surrounded by high arc lamps and wire, on a
+desolate moorland. Surely this could not be our destination, the good
+camp we had been led to expect.
+
+But after inquiring our guards told us it was, although they were
+nearly as much surprised at its appearance as we were. At all events
+we were determined to hide our feelings and look cheery. Quickening
+our pace we approached the camp singing the almost forgotten song,
+"Tipperary," were marched through the gates, and halted in front of a
+small group of German officers, in the centre of the camp. We at once
+distinguished the commandant, a major, with a first class iron cross
+hanging from his collar. He was rather short and stout with a square
+face; his grey whiskers terminated in a small double-pointed beard;
+this completed his "Hunnish" appearance! With his hands behind his
+back he welcomed us with a sullen stare, all the while puffing
+stolidly at his cigar. Had the Huns rehearsed this scene for a week
+they could not have given us a more heathen reception. No one even
+made a show at politeness by a nod or a salute. A stout and ugly
+sergeant-major (named Muller), wearing a gaudy blue and red uniform
+and sword, bawled at us to dress by the right, as if he were
+addressing a squad of recruits. He very nearly exploded when we
+ignored his insolent words of command. A rather common little
+interpreter commenced calling the roll, beginning with a captain, but
+only shouting his surname, to which there was no response. When his
+voice gradually rose to a shriek the Englishman stepped out and said,
+"I suppose you mean Captain so-and-so." The interpreter explained
+matters to the commandant, who must have realised that they were in
+the wrong, for in future we were addressed by our proper rank.
+(Victory No. 1.) We were each given a disc, on which was stamped our
+camp number (mine is now residing at home), and shown into our rooms.
+Late that night about two hundred fellows arrived from Crefeld, and
+Muller, finding he could not intimidate them, made such a noise that
+he was "choked off" by the commandant. We learnt that this place had
+been built as a Russian reprisal camp, but that lately Roumanian
+officers had been confined there. We were the first British these
+people had ever had to deal with. Hence their very bad manners!
+
+Now in a camp of this sort it is very necessary to stand up for one's
+rights when treated unfairly, otherwise the Germans soon forget that
+you have any rights; at the same time, if the treatment is fair, one
+does one's best to avoid friction. The best instance of a result of
+the former treatment occurred the next afternoon. When some of the
+Crefeld party, who had been allowed to bring provisions with them,
+found that it was not possible to obtain hot water for making tea,
+some inventive person at once started a little fire of sticks outside
+my room. Almost immediately a N.C.O. leading half a dozen armed men
+appeared on the scene and told the offender in a dreadful voice to put
+the fire out at once. Instead of complying the culprit dodged into a
+barrack and out of a window on the opposite side and disappeared.
+When the Huns were able to comprehend the audacity of this move they
+had to put the fire out themselves. Half an hour later a sentry,
+seeing three fires burning in the same place, strolled over and
+quietly informed those concerned that fires were not allowed, and that
+unless they were put out he would have to make a report to the
+commandant. The result was that they were at once extinguished with
+the aid of sand. Our baggage did not arrive for nearly a week; then,
+instead of being given out, it was locked up for another five days
+before we received it all. During this time we had to live on the
+German food as best we could.
+
+ACCOMMODATION.--Our quarters consisted of three long and two smaller
+badly made huts, divided into rooms containing, mostly, two or six
+officers. The mattresses were mostly dirty and hard, being stuffed
+with paper and cardboard, which formed sharp edges and lumps. The
+first week about ten of us found "creepy crawlies," and shortly before
+our departure I succeeded in attracting some while in the camp
+hospital! The Huns provided us with the German equivalent for
+"Keating's" after much agitation, after making us pay for it. The
+doctor said that the newly captured prisoners must have brought the
+creatures into the camp. That may have been true in a few cases, but
+even so they are to blame for not making adequate arrangements to
+prevent it. We each received a tin basin, but the washing was all done
+at three pumps outside. All the drinking water was derived from this
+source, and had a strong and disagreeable taste. A few feet away from
+each pump was a stagnant pool into which the waste water flowed. I
+think it is reasonable to suppose that a good proportion of it, after
+filtering through the sand, was pumped up again. In spite of these
+trifles we were told that the water had been analysed and passed by
+the medical authorities. I suppose both the colour and flavour were
+only due to the presence of iron, in which case I have no doubt it was
+an excellent tonic. I should have liked to have seen the doctor's face
+had he been made to swallow a glassful. I am thinking of forming a
+company for the purpose of building a hydro on the site of the old
+camp, so that every one may have an opportunity of enjoying perfect
+health by taking the Str�hen waters. I hope the reader will assist me
+by buying shares in this excellent concern. (A large cemetery will, of
+course, be necessary, but grave-digging should not prove to be
+expensive, the soil being very light!)
+
+The safest and most comfortable place in the camp was the small
+hospital, which was under the care of a very decent corporal in a
+Brandenburg regiment. The dining and common rooms were in one long
+barrack, divided into two sections. At one end of the latter was a
+canteen of sorts, which ultimately improved considerably. The sanitary
+arrangements were most primitive, the breezes constantly reminding one
+of their inefficiency. For the first month the weather was glorious,
+and during the evening stroll round it was maddening to watch the red
+sun slowly sinking behind the distant woods to the westward, showing
+us the way to Holland and freedom. The journey by train would have
+been accomplished in a few hours under ordinary circumstances. It was
+almost incredible to think, though it was only too true, that a few
+strands of wire and some grey-clad sentries could keep us confined in
+this desert-like camp, containing neither grass nor trees, isolated
+from all the pleasures of summer. Whenever there was a wind we enjoyed
+a whirling sandstorm. Often I have seen it so thick as to temporarily
+obscure the further camp buildings. If we had only been allowed camels
+and facilities for exercising, we should soon have looked upon a
+journey across the Sahara as mere child's play. After a victory (real
+or imaginary), or an anniversary, it was with very rebellious feelings
+that we watched the German flag fluttering in the breezes. I did not
+mind the coloured one quite so much, but it was almost more than I
+could stand to see the pale yellow flag, framing the treacherous
+scraggy black eagle, flying over my head. In one part of the camp
+there was just room for a game of tennis. Several classes were formed
+for learning languages, and indulging in "physical jerks" (culture),
+though I'm sorry to say I much preferred watching and jeering with the
+ever increasing majority.
+
+Occasionally sports days were organised, which went off in style, the
+chief items being short races, jumping, cock-fighting, also a
+competition which necessitated each individual eating a sticky bun
+dangling from a tightly stretched string without using his hands. This
+may not sound much of a feat, but when one realises that the bun
+consists of a chunk of stale black bread exuding coarse treacle, the
+difficulty will be better understood. Several canaries had been
+brought along from the former camp. In one instance a man in the
+Flying Corps, possessing a sitting bird, carried her so carefully that
+she never left the eggs and eventually reared her young at Str�hen.
+
+Latterly chip carving became the fashion, as it was then possible to
+obtain the necessary articles from a German firm through the canteen.
+Concerts were frequently held, and as the camp contained very
+considerable talent, we had some really first class performances,
+after being allowed to hire a piano from the nearest town. One day a
+new lot of orderlies arrived and took up their quarters in a barrack
+separated from our part of the camp by some wire. Among their number
+was a private called Cheeseman, a born comedian, who used to get up
+sing-songs and sketches; the star turn, however, was a selection from
+his orchestra, which he used to conduct with a broomstick from an
+inverted bucket. The instruments were two mandolines, one banjo, one
+mandola, a tin whistle, an accordion, a rattle, a comb, and a lump of
+iron. Somehow the performers played in tune, but they always sent us
+into fits of laughter, and even amused the watching Huns. Although
+Cheeseman often disappeared into cells for several days, he was never
+really squashed and always reappeared with a new joke. I was lucky
+enough to receive a good assortment of flower seeds from home,
+including sunflowers, sweet peas, nasturtiums, etc.; these I
+immediately planted in a tiny museum-like garden, and tended
+carefully, in the hope that some day the plants would assume large
+enough proportions to enable me to believe temporarily on special
+occasions that I was actually amid the flowers of good old England. In
+my case the deception was fortunately not necessary, as I was
+destined to enjoy the real thing, though unfortunately in hospital.
+
+TREATMENT.--The first roll calls, though unnecessarily long, were
+quite entertaining. They were conducted by a guards lieutenant with a
+pronounced limp, who went by the name of "Cork-leg." Even when
+speaking of a matter of no importance his voice would become louder
+and louder until it threatened to reach a shrill scream. On one
+occasion when the interpreter was not present, some unoffending person
+asked the Hun a question in English. Cork-leg replied, with a dreadful
+roar, that we must understand that the language of the camp was
+German, and German only. Things were going a little too far, so every
+time the gentleman gave expression to his thoughts in too vehement a
+manner most of us whispered a long-drawn "Hush." The parade being in
+square formation, when he turned suddenly to arrest the offender, he
+found those facing him wearing an air of injured innocence, while
+those in his rear continued the good work. This had the desired
+effect, and although it meant "_stuben_ arrest" for several fellows,
+the officer soon realised what an ass he was making of himself and
+became almost normal, with the result that things went smoothly for a
+while.
+
+Soon after our arrival, a fortnight, to be correct, the newly
+captured infantry officers, numbering about fifty, were ordered to
+give up their steel helmets at a given roll call. This naturally went
+against the grain. The owners mostly destroyed the rubber padding and
+hid the helmets, resolving that at least they should not benefit the
+Hun. At the appointed time eight instead of fifty were surrendered to
+the officer on duty. On the morning of the twelfth of June a number of
+German soldiers set to work with poles and hooks to drag the pools for
+submerged helmets. By and by they succeeded in picking out quite a
+number of those steel fish, every additional one landed calling forth
+a subdued cheer from the onlookers. In the afternoon, having nothing
+to do but kill time, I strolled out of a barrack, my hands in my
+pockets, with no immediate objective in view. Outside a few Germans
+were still fishing for helmets, while half a dozen Britishers were
+lazily watching operations. After joining them for a minute or two I
+turned to walk over to another building. True, there were some
+sentries with fixed bayonets lounging about, but that was nothing
+unusual, for they might well be in charge of the orderlies who were
+working near by. I had not gone ten yards when a tall, unshaven
+_Landsturmer_ swung round and barred my way. He told me with a snarl
+that I was not allowed there and motioned me back with his hand. I
+told him that I was not aware of any new order and only wished to go
+to the neighbouring building. Whereupon he repeated his words in a
+still more offensive tone, and brought his rifle to the ready. (Even a
+German sentry is supposed to be reasonably polite when addressing an
+officer prisoner for the first time, but this man was purposely rude.)
+I replied that if he addressed me as a British officer and not as a
+dog I should obey him at once, otherwise I should remain where I was.
+After a few more unintelligible threats he advanced, brandishing his
+weapon, at which I turned sideways to call to a German N.C.O. and
+protest against such treatment. The kindly sentry aimed a smashing
+blow at my left foot, which I was luckily able to partially deflect by
+a slight movement of my knee. Things were certainly quite disturbing,
+for the next instant he stuck the bayonet almost through my right
+thigh. The proceeding was not particularly pleasant, feeling very like
+a sharp burn, but I was almost too surprised to realise fully what had
+happened, so consequently remained standing where I was. Vaguely I
+realised that the sentry had withdrawn his bayonet for another thrust,
+this time evidently intended to enter my body. Glancing down I saw
+that my trouser leg was saturated and streaming with blood, which was
+even welling out of my shoe on to the ground, showing that an artery
+had been severed. Not being particularly partial to bayonet thrusts, I
+decided that I could now abandon my argument without loss of prestige.
+I succeeded in hobbling a few yards to the rear, at the same time
+holding the artery above the wound in an endeavour to check the flow
+of blood. This, however, did not prove very successful, the sand
+continuing to turn red behind me. Just as I was in the act of falling,
+a number of our fellows, seeing what had happened, rushed up and
+carried me hastily into the camp hospital, where a tourniquet was
+applied and the doctor sent for. The time was then a quarter-past
+three, and the doctor did not arrive till after seven o'clock. I
+rather fancy if an accident of that sort had occurred in an English
+prison camp containing over four hundred German officers, it would not
+be necessary to wait almost four hours before the arrival of a
+qualified doctor.
+
+At the best of times a very tight tourniquet is distinctly
+uncomfortable. The medical orderly thinking that I should lose
+consciousness and seeing the commandant enter the room, explained the
+circumstances and asked if he might give me a little brandy. After
+due consideration and much chewing at the ragged end of his eternal
+cigar, he replied that as water would be given to a wounded German
+soldier, it was good enough for me. Though I pretended not to hear,
+these remarks impressed me considerably. The N.C.O. looked after me
+very well, and early next morning took me to the station in an
+ambulance on my way to Hanover Hospital. Two private soldiers acted as
+stretcher-bearers, with the N.C.O. in charge. When the train arrived
+it was found that the stretcher was too broad to go into a carriage,
+so I travelled in the luggage van, among trunks, bicycles and baskets
+of fish. The Germans were quite jolly and sang a few songs, while I,
+in a half dead condition, endeavoured to accompany them on my beloved
+mandoline. At Hanover I was dumped down at a Red Cross centre below
+the station to await the ambulance. Soon quite a pretty nurse (for a
+wonder) came up and inquired if I was English. I could not resist
+replying in German: "Yes, sister, I am one of those _Schweinhund
+Englanders_!" To my surprise she seemed quite embarrassed, and hastily
+answered me that they did not say that _now_. (Emphasis on the _now_.)
+In the conveyance I lay beside a wounded German private, also bound
+for hospital. When my curiosity had broken the ice, he told me that
+he had just returned from the Messines Ridge, where he had acquired a
+great respect for British artillery and mines (though he himself was a
+sapper). The Hanover hospitals which usually take in prisoners are
+Nos. 1 and 7; to my relief I was taken to No. 1, which is recognised
+as the best. I received practically the same treatment as the German
+patients, and occupied a room with three other British officers. Some
+of the food we received was quite good, a little fresh milk and
+butter, and one or two whitish rolls of bread, and, of course, the
+usual doubtful soups. Immediately outside the window was a large
+flowering acacia tree, looking delightfully shady and cool after
+Str�hen desert. Another luxury we sometimes enjoyed was strawberries,
+which the German orderly bought in large quantities, afterwards
+selling them to some of the doctors and nurses as well as ourselves.
+At frequent intervals a band outside played a very ordinary
+uninteresting dead march, announcing each time a German (usually a
+patient) had gone "West." Soon after my arrival I saw a Zeppelin
+flying very low over the town. I was delighted and remarked to a Bosch
+that it was the first Zeppelin I had ever seen. He was quite indignant
+and told me that I ought to know that it was a Schutte-Lanz, a new
+type of airship. My education must have been sadly neglected!
+
+Bayonet wounds are, for several reasons, liable to become septic;
+mine, however, healed up remarkably quickly, saving me endless bother.
+In a fortnight I started back to the camp, accompanied by a N.C.O. and
+a private, who helped me slowly along. We went by train, without
+causing much interest. This was a good thing, for it is very hard to
+look dignified when feeling like nothing on earth, and looking as
+white as a sheet. Many of the small boys were dressed up as soldiers
+in one way or another, and I twice saw a small ragamuffin band with
+tins for kettle-drums. Just wouldn't there be a fine scrap if a
+similar band of London children had suddenly rounded the corner!
+Personally, I would back the cockney spirit against any other. This
+was my second visit to Hanover, and on no occasion had I seen a motor
+other than the one ambulance car, though I heard two in the distance.
+Owing to the scarcity of rubber I was surprised at the number of
+bicycles present in the streets, but closer inspection proved that
+that difficulty had been overcome by a clever invention, by which the
+shock is lessened by an outer wooden rim held in position by strong
+springs, which are compressed as they take the weight. During the
+train journey my escort, as usual, drew my attention to the splendid
+way in which the Germans treated their prisoners by allowing them to
+travel second class. They simply would not believe that German
+officers in England always travelled first. The private, who owned a
+cigar factory in Hanover, became quite chatty and seemed very anxious
+to know if I thought the trade relationships between England and
+Germany would be the same as ever after the war. He was very surprised
+and, indeed, quite distressed when I told him that I thought there
+would be a considerable change--it seemed that the idea had never
+occurred to him before.
+
+I was not sorry when the camp was reached and I entered the little
+camp hospital to remain there for another two weeks. Several fellows
+having escaped from the camp temporarily, the commandant got the sack.
+Many speculations concerning his probable successor were indulged in,
+and I think the general opinion of the camp was that the newcomer
+might be better, though he could not be worse. We soon discovered our
+mistake. His first appearance was not exactly promising. Two fellows
+while walking round the camp suddenly heard a stream of abuse
+violently directed at them, and looking up, they saw the commandant
+coming towards them through a gate in the wire, fairly bursting with
+rage. His unreasonable complaint was that he had not been saluted
+while entering his office outside the wire! The offenders were at once
+packed off to cells for two or three days. The next day a few
+Britishers arrived from another camp, and while they were waiting
+outside to be admitted, a small and orderly crowd collected on the
+inside to see if they could recognise any one, or exchange a few
+remarks. Being unable to walk much I watched the proceedings from the
+window of my room and was able to see everything that took place.
+Without any warning the mad commandant rushed out of a building and up
+to the wire, where he screamed at the little gathering like a madman,
+making violent motions to show that they were to go back. It is
+perfectly legitimate to stand in a group as long as every one behaves
+and no one touches the neutral zone wire. One must stand somewhere. In
+this case he had absolutely no right to order a move. The interpreter,
+who happened to be near, walked up and said that the commandant
+desired us to go away, whereupon the officers began to disperse,
+wishing to humour him. I was startled to see two soldiers come through
+the gate with fixed bayonets in a quick business-like way, to drive
+the fellows back faster, evidently by the commandant's express orders.
+The younger of the two guards went straight up to an unoffending
+medical student, a Lieutenant Downes (S. Staffs.), who was then
+turning round, and pricked him in the stomach with his bayonet. To
+prevent the steady pressure making the slight wound worse, Downes
+seized the end of the rifle and, jerking the point out, swung it to
+the right, and then turning round walked quickly back. The sentry,
+after running past several other officers, overtook him and, to my
+horror, stuck the bayonet into his back. After continuing his walk for
+a few steps Downes collapsed and was at once carried into hospital,
+the next day being taken to Hanover. The wound was very serious,
+however; we received a message from the hospital a few days later
+stating that the bayonet had penetrated into one lung, but that he was
+getting on well and would probably soon recover.
+
+The same sentry, in his eagerness to obey orders, tried to bayonet a
+Captain Woodhouse, but as his prey jumped back just in time, only
+succeeded in cutting the skin. By this time a large crowd had
+collected, which the sentries continued slowly forcing back, although
+they were then fifty yards from the wire. As the news spread the crowd
+became larger, but remained ominously quiet, the two Germans not
+seeming to realise the danger of their position. It is the worst
+feeling I know to watch a cowardly display of this sort and yet be
+able to do absolutely nothing. It only needed a spark to set
+everything in a blaze, which must have ended in the guard being turned
+out for machine-gun practice. Meanwhile, the news reached some
+Britishers who were half-way through a concert. By mutual consent it
+was at once broken up by the singing of the National Anthem. Every one
+outside at once stood to attention and heartily joined in the last few
+bars. It was the most impressive scene one could possibly imagine. I
+am sure that no one who had witnessed it would in after years, without
+feeling murder in his heart, watch a man belonging to the mongrel
+breed, which is not infrequently seen sitting down while everybody
+else is standing for the National Anthem, only being forced grudgingly
+to his feet by public opinion, even then not removing his hat unless
+it is knocked off. I am convinced that if Ramsay Macdonald and a few
+of his colleagues could have spent a week in a bad German prison camp
+they would be only too willing to instruct their misguided followers
+in singing "God Save the King," in the spirit and way in which it
+should be and was sung at Str�hen on July 15th, 1917. The situation
+was saved.
+
+Our senior officer took advantage of the pause at the end while we
+were still under control, standing at attention, and told us to
+separate at once, as he would do everything that was possible. At this
+Israel departed every man to his own tent. The major asked for an
+immediate interview with the commandant, but the German captain who
+had entered replied that that was unfortunately impossible as that
+officer had gone out at lunch time and would not return till late. It
+was a most "kolossal" lie, but I do not think that the captain should
+be saddled with it, as he was, doubtless, acting under instructions.
+Most of those present, including myself, would have sworn on oath that
+we had seen the commandant a few minutes before and that he had caused
+all the trouble. But then what is one to do? Of course the usual
+complaints went (or rather were supposed to go) to higher authority
+(ambassadors and the like), but no satisfaction was obtained. It seems
+not unlikely that they all found their way into the office waste-paper
+basket by the most direct route.
+
+Again, a few days later about a dozen fellows were watching a party of
+Germans, under a _Feldwebel_ Pohlman, digging up an old tunnel which
+had fallen in near the wire. Everything was quiet and Pohlman was
+even talking naturally with one of our number, when I noticed him turn
+and speak a few words to the sergeant of the guard, who turned and
+entered the guardroom, evidently in a hurry. Knowing that this
+Pohlman, in spite of his oily manner and smug appearance, was a Hun in
+every sense of the word, I kept my weather eye open, warned the others
+and strolled off. A few seconds later four of the worst sentries in
+the place, having entered the camp unobserved, came running round the
+corner of a shed, their bayonets drawn back for thrusting, obviously
+having received orders that the next victim had to be finished off,
+the object, I suppose, being either to teach us a lesson or cause a
+mutiny. Some one shouted a warning to three fellows who were standing
+talking to each other unconscious of their danger, but before they had
+time to realise their predicament the sentries were on them. The Huns
+singled out a Captain Wilson (R.F.C.), and before he could get away,
+surrounded him, while one villainous-looking little Hun lunged
+straight at him. By a quick movement Wilson avoided the thrust and
+succeeded in breaking away, the bayonet passing through his clothes.
+The guard continued to press every one back into the centre of the
+camp, very serious trouble again only just being avoided.
+
+Another incident of this sort happened a few days later, when to our
+surprise some strong sherry arrived at the canteen, and was soon
+bought up by the thirsty prisoners. I think there was another object
+in view, as well as a desire to make money. Towards evening some
+Englishmen were sitting near the wire, close to where the sentry who
+had assaulted Downes was stationed. One of the fellows, feeling a
+little cheerful, amused himself by alluding to the bravery of the act.
+At the worst this was only a case calling for a little solitary
+confinement. I suppose the sentry passed the word along to the
+guardroom, for soon three sentries passed through the camp,
+metaphorically whetting their bayonets, going towards the scene of the
+disturbance. Before reaching it they unslung their rifles and fixed
+their bayonets, doubled round the corner of the building, expecting to
+surprise the unfortunate Englander. But to their disgust they only
+found empty chairs and returned very dejected.
+
+After this episode we had a dance in the dining-room, several fellows
+making up into the most charming girls, and did our best to forget our
+unpleasant surroundings. At ten o'clock, when we had gone to our
+barracks, according to the rules, Pohlman conducted an armed party of
+half a dozen Huns with fixed bayonets round the huts and every part
+of the camp, but failed to find the excuse he was longing for. Now
+what about the Cambrai officer's question, "Why do you call us Huns?"
+_Why, indeed?_
+
+The German captain nearly always took roll call. Though fairly
+harmless, he was quite mad. He seldom brought an interpreter on parade
+and made long speeches and read orders to us, all in German, the great
+majority, of course, not understanding a single word! One day we heard
+the new commandant was coming on parade for the first time that
+evening, so therefore looked forward to some fun. When the time for
+the roll call arrived we were inspected as usual, and were standing
+waiting, when the little captain suddenly drew himself up to his full
+height, and screamed out: "_Augen Rechts--Augen Links--Gerade Aus_."
+As we were standing in three sides of a square it was an order to make
+every one face the commandant with a martial air. The net result of
+this "Double Dutch" was that everyone broke into an amused smile,
+which increased almost to hysterics when we caught sight of the
+recipient of this honour. The commandant was a tall, doddery,
+antediluvian Prussian colonel, with long grey moustaches, the very
+image of the Monkey Brand advertisement, only perhaps not quite so
+good looking. Why he did not fall over his trailing scabbard in every
+step remains a mystery to this day.
+
+There was another curious little trick the captain sometimes indulged
+in. In the middle of delivering a tirade he would suddenly point to
+heaven with a dramatic gesture, as if to prove the truth of a recent
+statement by invoking the Kaiser's God. Perhaps some day he will learn
+that the popular spirit of Germany lives not above but very far below.
+
+Soon after our arrival the prison was enlarged, as it always has to be
+when the camp becomes British. Fellows were often sent there for an
+offence about which they had never heard, without being able to say
+one word in self defence. In about two months I believe nearly half
+the camp had been in "clink." Until latterly it was forbidden to open
+windows at night, but being English we took the law into our own hands
+and continued opening the windows, refusing to be deprived of fresh
+air in the stifling heat. This naturally resulted in more prison,
+which at first relieved and then increased the monotony. Though it is
+hardly credible, our colonel had to carry out a sentence of three days
+"_stuben_ arrest" for losing his poker! About this time an Australian
+was put into prison for a trivial offence which had been committed by
+some one else, and did not even receive his sentence for three whole
+weeks!
+
+While in "jug" in this camp we were not allowed parcels, writing
+materials, books or smokes. We complained about this to a general who
+inspected the camp later; he expressed surprise at this state of
+affairs and had things partially rectified. For about two months all
+cigars and cigarettes received in parcels were stopped, the only
+reason given being that in some cases they had contained poison for
+destroying cattle. Not only were chances of destroying cattle
+exceedingly small, but we offered to smoke any cigarette they chose to
+give us from our parcels to prove the falsity of the charge.
+
+By an agreement between the Governments those serving terms of
+imprisonment for offences committed before the 4th of August, 1917,
+were released, a great number of the gaol-birds being sent to Str�hen.
+Residing in prison was a captain who made a hobby of being
+court-martialled. Under this new ruling he was taken out of cells for
+a few days, only to be put back to await trial for the trumped-up
+charge of having poison tablets on his person when recaptured after
+his last escape. I believe the only tablets he carried were either for
+purifying water, or Horlick's malted milk. Every one recaptured when
+trying to escape in the late winter of 1916 or the following spring
+received a sentence of five months' imprisonment, a fortnight the
+original punishment, and the remainder as a supposed reprisal for the
+sentence given to escaping Germans in England.
+
+The food given us was very bad indeed, though the list must have
+looked quite nice on paper. Apart from the eternal and loathsome
+gherkins, of which no mention was made, it asserted that we received
+fish twice a week! The Tuesday fish was of a dried variety, and had
+such a delicious smell when cooked that it was impossible to enter the
+dining-room when it was on the prowl! While that on Friday consisted
+of heaps of old mussels containing quantities of sand and young
+pebbles, known amongst ourselves as those ---- barnacles, scraped from
+the ships at Kiel. The whole time I was there I never once had an
+opportunity of buying any fresh fruit, though it was summer time and
+we could have paid good prices. The only result of my bayoneting
+episode was that the sentry was congratulated, and I was warned for a
+court-martial! When a staff captain arrived from Hanover to collect
+the evidence for the approaching trials, quite a cheery little crowd
+of accused officers were awaiting him. Several of them were to appear
+on two or three charges, and three R.F.C. officers were to be tried
+for dropping leaflets in the German lines. I believe it came to
+nothing in the end, as there was not enough evidence to convict them.
+Captain Scholtz and Lieutenant Wookey do not seem to have been so
+lucky. When my turn came, several German witnesses were produced who
+swore that after being struck on the foot with the butt, I had jumped
+forward to seize the rifle, asserting that the sentry had only acted
+in self-defence. (Such a truthful race!) When the captain was taking
+down my statement, we frequently got off the subject altogether. All
+of a sudden he would assert that the English had started the war and
+ask me the reason for their doing so. Thoroughly roused, I would reply
+that it was nonsense and he must know it. Then ensued an amusing but
+fiery argument about the neutrality of Belgium, the use of native
+troops, and frightfulness in general. His plea was that poor little
+unoffending Germany was only standing up for herself against a set of
+blood-thirsty enemies who wished to crush her. Needless to say, I did
+not feel much like sympathising. When we finally got back to business,
+all particulars were taken as a matter of form, my slaughterer's name
+and address being taken down. Before my departure I managed to get a
+glimpse of it when the captain was out of the room. I do not suffer
+from loss of memory!
+
+The all-absorbing problem of camp life is escaping. Up to this time
+half a dozen fellows had succeeded in getting away from the camp, but
+were afterwards recaptured. I will endeavour to give an outline of the
+several attempts and the difficulties to be overcome, which must of
+necessity be very curtailed, this book not being originally written
+for the benefit of the "Bosch." The most usual way is to cut the wire,
+but where sentries are numerous the undertaking is both difficult and
+dangerous. It is most natural to try stunts of the sort under cover of
+darkness. At this camp, however, the paraffin arc lamps were
+particularly brilliant, and when star-gazing on several occasions I
+have seen rats and mice scuttle across the white sand some distance
+away. Though storms often raged during the day, the wind almost
+invariably blew itself out towards night, leaving a dead calm, broken
+only by the tramp of sentries or the distant rattling hum of a
+nightjar. It is a brave man who, having determined this mode of exit,
+leaves his hut when others are sleeping, and vanishes. Presently, if
+he gets safely across the intervening ground, the faint yet feverish
+snipping of wire-cutters is heard, each time being followed perhaps
+by a slight "ping" as the strained wire separates. The ensuing silence
+is almost heart-breaking, for in contrast something else may at any
+instant be increasing its tension, a sentry's trigger-finger. One
+stormy night, when in hospital, I had reason to believe that an
+officer would make an attempt in that part of the camp at a given
+hour, so had an excellent chance of watching operations, which was not
+wasted. I went to the window and settled down for a long wait. Outside
+it was still raining, the sentries being in their boxes. A little
+before the time I caught sight of a dark figure which clambered out of
+the orderlies' hut and crawled into the neutral zone up to the outside
+wire, which he lay parallel to and commenced to cut. To my surprise,
+another figure joined him from the hut and lay there waiting; this was
+an orderly who had decided to join at the last instant. In about one
+and a half minutes a large enough gap had been cut, and the
+adventurers crawled through it, and were preparing to make a dash into
+the darkness when a sentry spotted them and stepped out of his box.
+Having burned their boats, off they went. The sentry ran a few steps,
+then, stopping abruptly, raised his rifle and fired. It was an anxious
+moment for the onlookers; the fugitives already knew the result,
+while, as yet, we did not. However, to our relief, the ghost-like
+figures continued their flight until they were swallowed up in the
+darkness, and the reflection of the artificial light on their wet
+rain-coats became too weak to give away their position. In their
+anxiety to leave the camp behind they tended to separate, but both
+fell headlong into a deep ditch, where they met again. In their first
+dash one of them dropped most of the provisions, which the Germans
+discovered and brought back to the camp in triumph. Six days
+afterwards they were recaptured, thirty kilometres from the border.
+Two officers cut the wire in broad daylight, when the nearest sentry
+was busy opening a gate admitting some orderlies. They left the camp
+by way of a ditch without being seen, crawling as they had never
+crawled before, their heads showing above the level of the fields,
+like two wobbling cabbages going for a hurried evening stroll. Their
+success was short-lived, for, only an hour afterwards, they were
+spotted and chased by some farmers, being finally brought to a stop by
+a man with a shot-gun. Another couple left the camp by the following
+ingenious method. A captain, who spoke German like a native, dressed
+up in the clothes of a Hun private (somehow acquired). Some of the
+essential things were missing, and had been manufactured in secret,
+such as a cap and a painted wooden bayonet, with a lovely coloured
+tassel. When everything was ready, about ten o'clock one morning, a
+perfectly good German private marched an R.F.C. lieutenant, disguised
+as an orderly, who carried two buckets (containing their kit), up to a
+gate in the wire, which he rattled to signify that it must be unlocked
+immediately. The sentry came along, unlocked the gate, and let him
+out. They proceeded to the road, which they followed for a short
+distance. That afternoon, while crossing a wild bit of country, they
+had the misfortune to be recaptured by a shooting party, being first
+completely surrounded by the beaters. Two other officers got out
+separately in an ingenious way, the first being recaptured crossing a
+bridge over the Ems, quite near Holland; the second lost direction,
+and was retaken four days after, having got thoroughly lost. One
+unlucky person was collared just outside the wire, dressed as an
+orderly, and was taken straight to prison to enjoy a period of perfect
+rest!
+
+I worked in several tunnels at different times, fitted with air pumps
+and perhaps even electric light--who knows? Digging oneself out is, at
+the best of times, a slow and difficult proposition, which is almost
+invariably discovered sooner or later. The humorous side of tunnelling
+is so pronounced that, could "Bairnsfather" view one such episode,
+our bookstalls would shortly be surrounded by eager crowds, clamouring
+for the first edition of "Fragments from Germany," depicting
+mud-bespattered "Old Bills" crawling for their very lives down narrow
+tunnels, closely pursued by the wily Hun!
+
+About this time I made my second attempt to escape, and succeeded in
+getting outside the wire for the time being, early one afternoon
+during bathing hours, only to discover that my proposed hiding-place
+was occupied by Germans. After sitting solemnly beside my kit for an
+hour, expecting discovery every second, I was lucky enough to return,
+unmolested, with a party of bathers. During this period of anxious
+waiting I was surprised to find that the thought of losing my
+carefully prepared outfit was considerably more distressing than the
+actual prospect of imprisonment.
+
+
+
+
+                              CHAPTER IX
+
+                        "AN OUTLAW ONCE AGAIN"
+
+
+When a sufficient number of officers had collected for baths at a
+little gate, a sentry allowed them to pass through it and along a
+short, wired path, or bird-cage (as we called it), and thence into the
+bath-room. This room was situated about ten yards outside the wire, in
+the middle of a wooden barrack, running parallel to, and about fifteen
+yards away from, the wire. It is subdivided to form a dressing-room
+and a place for the shower baths, every exit being strongly barred,
+and a sentry stationed at the door. After a minute inspection of every
+nook and cranny, I found that it was just possible, by standing
+upright, to squeeze into an alcove, about eleven inches deep and a
+foot wide, in an angle formed by a wall and the brickwork of a chimney
+which projected into the room.
+
+Though in full view of the door, it was partially hidden behind an
+empty stove. I reasoned that, should a well-made dummy wall obscure
+the aperture, it would take a very observant sentry to detect anything
+amiss. As a last resource, even should it be noticed, it might pass as
+something to do with the heating of the adjacent room. After weighing
+up the chances of success for several days, I decided that it was
+worth trying. When the measurements had been taken, behind the Bosch's
+back, I set to work to manufacture the false wall.
+
+Most of my friends ridiculed the idea, calling my pet wall a doll's
+house and other insulting names, and bestowing on me much superfluous
+sympathy and pity. They argued that it had not been done before, and
+was, therefore, impossible, doing their level best to stop me
+embarking on such a mad enterprise. At first they almost succeeded in
+their object, but, knowing that most ordinary people remain in a camp
+indefinitely, working on more orthodox lines, I determined that I
+would put it to the test, if only to prove them wrong, or land myself
+in prison. One infantry officer, who had previously been through a
+course of camouflage, gave me his moral support, which counted for a
+good deal.
+
+The wall was made of cardboard sewn tightly on to a light wooden
+frame, the whole being made in three sections, which, when fitted
+together, reached the height of about eight feet six inches. The top
+section was fitted with a leather hinge, which allowed the upper half
+of it to slope back at an angle of forty-five degrees, so that the
+hiding-place should not appear to be hollow. When at last the doll's
+house was finished, it defied all efforts to whiten it, and seemed to
+have a rooted objection to being made to resemble the dirty whitewash
+of the bath-room. I tried melting old whitewash (scraped off the
+walls) with gum and hot water, but it either fell off when dry or
+showed the wet cardboard plainly through. Chloride of lime proved
+equally useless. Only a little white paint was procurable, but this
+was altogether too smooth and shiny. One day, when the three sections were
+drying outside on the sand, a German _feldwebel_ (sergeant-major--commonly
+known as a "fieldwobble") came along, and inquired if I was making a
+model aeroplane. When I replied that his surmise was correct, he asked
+me, with a slow smile, if I intended flying away when the machine was
+completed. The wicked old creature departed, highly amused at my
+answer, "Yes, I hope so." Certainly many a true word is spoken in
+jest!
+
+After a week's experimenting with useless colouring mixtures, I was
+almost in despair, when the desired effect was produced by coating the
+cardboard with a thick cornflour paste, finally toning it down with a
+mixture of cobwebs and mud.
+
+Though on three separate occasions I had everything ready for the
+final test, it was not before August 16th that conditions were at last
+favourable enough to risk my welfare for the next few weeks. A little
+before five o'clock I entered the bath-room, accompanied by several
+assistants. Our journey thither was rather amusing, though the
+slightest accident would have meant much "_stuben_ arrest." It is not
+easy to walk naturally when carrying a young wall out of sight under
+one's coat, which is doing its best to give the show away by shedding
+bits of plaster which fall to the ground and leave a trail, reminding
+one strongly of a paper chase.
+
+However, the sentries noticed nothing unusual. As soon as the Hun's
+back was turned I slipped the sections together and squeezed into the
+alcove, into which I was securely fastened by a friend, who whispered
+that everything looked O.K., and asked me to be sure and write to him
+when I got to England. Whether this was meant or not I do not know,
+but at any rate it was just the encouragement I needed. It was an
+anxious moment when everybody left the room with a final "Good luck,"
+and I heard the sentry approaching to make sure that nobody had been
+left behind. Previously I had determined not to watch the Hun, as my
+gaze might render him more liable to look in my direction. Now, under
+the stress of circumstances, this seemed a physical impossibility, and
+all good resolutions went to the winds. I glued one eye to the
+spy-hole and saw a German standing only a few feet away, with his back
+to me, puffing solemnly at a long pipe, a rifle slung over his
+shoulder. Almost immediately, as if in answer to my concentrated gaze,
+he turned and looked straight in my direction. I promptly shrivelled
+up to nothing, and developed acute suspended animation. I simply dared
+not breath, and felt as if my thoughts were becoming audible. My
+relief was indescribable when he turned away, and left in an ordinary
+manner. Though one crisis was over, the strain had been such that it
+took me several minutes to "defossilise" and grasp the fact that,
+somewhere in the dim distance, the chances of success were increasing.
+
+A few minutes later a N.C.O. came in, and searched about for soap. As
+he was pocketing some small bits left behind, my wall threatened to
+fall outwards, but I managed to hold it steady until he went away. A
+five-and-a-half hour wait lay in front of me, and, my prison being
+dark, stifling and hot, the time passed intolerably slowly. After
+waiting patiently for what I judged to be anything from half to
+three-quarters of an hour, I would glance at my watch, only to
+discover that, in reality, four or five minutes had passed. My primary
+success was evidently well known inside the camp, for most of the
+fellows taking their evening stroll cast anxious veiled glances in my
+direction, from the wrong side of the wire.
+
+It was with both pleasure and anxiety that I watched the darkness
+slowly closing in, though I felt inclined to disbelieve that "Time and
+tide wait for no man." Half-past ten did eventually arrive, and with
+it the now unwelcome time for action. Slowly, and with infinite
+caution, I stepped out into the room, and replaced the wall to give
+some one else a chance later on. Most of my kit was in the stove, and,
+as there were no fire-irons about, considerable noise was made lifting
+the iron top and extracting the contents with my fingers. Everything
+was now squashed into a sort of pack, and I approached the window on
+tip-toe. Within the camp all was quiet, but there, just outside,
+passing and repassing on his beat, often not ten yards away, was a
+particularly young and active German sentry, stepping quietly, with an
+elastic tread. He held his rifle in his hands, and gazed intently into
+the camp, as if expecting some shooting practice. When he reached the
+end of his short beat, I opened the door with many misgivings, and
+crept along a passage to the back of the hut. Entering the empty
+wash-room, I saw that my information had been correct, the windows
+were not barred. In an adjoining room several Huns were settling down
+for the night, their light showing under the door.
+
+I had almost reached the nearest window when, with a most appalling
+crash, I overturned an empty bucket in the dark. Listening an instant,
+I heard surprised voices and waited for no further developments, but,
+coat, pack and all, jumped through the half-open window and fell into
+a ditch below. Struggling up and tripping over another wire, I landed
+in another ditch. After leaving this my way lay beyond the shadow of
+the hut across a cultivated patch of moor, planted with potatoes,
+which was illuminated by the arc lamps. I covered this in record time,
+everything rattling and seeming to make a most deafening noise, as
+though all the devils in Hell were after me with red-hot pitchforks,
+expecting to hear a bullet whistle by every moment. However, nothing
+happened, and when several hundred yards away, I halted for about ten
+minutes to listen for the bugle sounding the alarm. It would have been
+some satisfaction to know that the camp was buzzing like a bee-hive,
+and all on my account! But, owing to the clever way in which my room
+mates worked it, my absence was not noticed, and so this pleasure was
+denied me.
+
+I shouldered my heavy pack and started out over the heather in the
+direction indicated by the stars. The greatest obstacles were the peat
+bogs, into which I often sank knee-deep, and had to crawl out. After
+about two hours rough walking, I was lying among the heather resting,
+when I was startled by a slight noise like the rattle of a chain.
+Looking up quickly as the moon came out from behind a cloud, I saw a
+dark shape, which seemed to move considerably closer and a little to
+the left, as I watched. A general survey of my position was not
+reassuring, for, in the light, I could distinctly see half-a-dozen
+more dark forms situated on my front and sides at regular intervals,
+mostly in a crouching position. Instantly I thought that somehow I had
+been traced by dogs, and that these were sentries. Knowing the gentle
+way in which the inmates of this camp were treated, I must confess
+that I was very scared. I had not even a stick; besides, one could
+wish for a more congenial meeting-place to accost gentlemen of this
+sort than a lonely moor at midnight. Behind me was a long cutting,
+filled with dark water, from which peat had been taken; into this I
+cautiously slid up to my shoulders, and waited developments. Nothing
+happened, and, as I became colder and colder, I began to think that,
+after all, I had been mistaken. Was it possible that they were only
+heaps of peat? At last I summoned up enough courage to crawl out and
+approach one of the mysterious forms. Still nothing happened, and my
+confidence increased considerably. I had only gone a few yards when I
+saw that it was actually only a heap of peat with a large piece lying
+near the top which protruded sideways, this having formed the supposed
+sentry's head. Even then I did not feel quite convinced until I
+administered a hard kick and there was no retaliation.
+
+During the night I passed several villages, and once found myself
+among a lot of small apple trees, which I shook violently. Down
+tumbled some unripe fruit. It did not take long to fill my pockets and
+clear off at full speed. Towards morning I lost sight of the camp
+lights, and, entering a small fir plantation, arranged a good
+hiding-place and soon fell asleep. In less than an hour I awoke in a
+soaking condition, and sat up with a start, the only result being that
+the movement shook the fir branches over my head, and a shower-bath
+ensued. The next day I enjoyed five thunderstorms! No sooner had one
+passed over than another came up. My home-made tent, a large sheet of
+green oilsilk, smuggled from home, kept off a good deal of the rain,
+but, nevertheless, I had a good opportunity of studying the condition
+of a half-drowned rat. In spite of the wet and the presence of some
+large wood-ants, I rather enjoyed the sour apples, the first I had
+tasted that summer. Once during the afternoon a red squirrel came
+jumping over the fir needles, and looked up impudently into my face.
+The sight of so much ugliness almost overcame him, but he managed to
+scamper off at a good speed. I tried hard to attract this, my only
+friend, by pretending to be Hiawatha, and calling him an
+"_Adjidaumo_," but this only hurried his retreat.
+
+My food consisted mostly of chocolate and biscuits, though, for the
+first three days, I did not feel at all hungry. Water was very scarce,
+but I received more than my share a few days later. The third night,
+leaving the moon behind, I climbed over a barbed wire fence, and found
+myself among a lot of large and boney black-and-white Holstein cattle.
+Murmuring soft German words of endearment, I approached the nearest
+cow in the hope of obtaining some milk. However, these good creatures,
+thinking it a most unusual milking hour, were not having any, and
+showed their disapproval of my conduct by careering madly round the
+field, making a fiendish noise, which caused the author of the
+disturbance to take to his heels for fear of discovery. A little later
+I changed my tactics. After stealing several luscious apples, I
+presented them to another walking milk-tank. The creature had a softer
+heart, and succumbed to the temptation. Everything went according to
+plan, for, while she munched the apple contentedly, I proceeded to
+fill a large tin mug several times over. I tramped for ten nights, and
+only missed my milk three times. Another night, passing in front of a
+farm-house, I came upon a full milk-can standing by a gate; the
+contents not only filled my water bottle, but even satisfied me.
+
+One morning, after an unusually long march, I flopped down and went to
+sleep in an overgrown ditch, surrounded by gorse and broom. The sun
+was just rising when I awoke with the idea that I was lying on a bed
+of pins. The idea grew to a firm conviction when an involuntary
+movement of mine considerably increased my discomfort. As I lay trying
+to solve the problem in a semi-conscious condition, the solution ran
+across my face; it seemed to have a great many legs. As my fingers
+closed round it I received another violent pin-prick, but held on
+manfully and, with an effort, forced myself to look at my prey. It was
+a gigantic angry wood-ant, which hung on to my finger for all it was
+worth. Considering the two things which terrify me most are ants and
+centipedes, perhaps the reader will understand my perturbed state of
+mind when I found myself lying beside a large ants' nest, being slowly
+devoured by its inhabitants, like a fat green caterpillar. As if
+propelled by a rocket I sprang up, and ran up and down the short ditch
+at full speed. When fatigue had brought me to a stop I was delighted
+to find that they had mostly been shaken off out of my clothes. It was
+impossible to find a resting place free from ants, the whole place was
+infested with them. In my efforts to avoid them I climbed to the top
+of a thick pine tree, but even there my little friends were parading
+along the branches. The day proved to be so hot and thundery that,
+before twelve o'clock, the milk in my bottle turned solid and had to
+be eaten like junket. It was with great satisfaction that I watched
+the darkness setting in, for, under its protection, I was enabled to
+leave the unholy spot and continue my nightly travels.
+
+One of the things which had troubled me considerably when planning my
+escape was how to reset my watch should it go wrong. As it was, the
+village clocks kept me well informed by striking the hour with much
+vigour. The next day, as I lay hidden at the edge of a very young
+plantation, a party of labourers with scythes assembled not far away.
+After leaving their coats and, presumably, their provisions behind,
+they proceeded to cut the grass along the edge of the plantation and
+in a neighbouring field. As I lay "doggo" I formulated many plans for
+stealing their food to replenish my store, but finally decided that
+the risk was too great. Only once did I think that I had been
+discovered, for, as I was passing my time in a wood by carving a
+souvenir stick, something burst close beside me, making quite a
+commotion and breaking many twigs. Just before the branches closed I
+caught sight of a fluffy white tail. After all it was only a
+frightened deer.
+
+Late on the sixth night I was walking fast along the side of a road
+which led through a forest when, stopping an instant to listen, I
+heard a low voice shout about forty yards in front. Then some one
+approached with a previously concealed lantern. Instantly I jumped
+over the ditch, hoping to get away under the trees unnoticed.
+Unfortunately, I landed on some dry twigs, which crackled at every
+step and betrayed my presence. Remembering the deer incident, I
+emitted a loud, coughing bark, such as those animals make, and crashed
+through the undergrowth, making as much noise as possible. To my
+relief I saw that the man with the lantern turned back to his post to
+rejoin his companion--presumably the ruse succeeded. It was just as
+well I was not caught here, for now I have reason to believe that I
+was close to an important aerodrome, and that this was a
+guard--possibly against espionage.
+
+The distance covered was, roughly, a hundred and sixty miles, and,
+during the whole period, only once did I recognise the name of a small
+town on a milestone, which told me I was going in the right direction.
+The fact of having no one to talk to for so many days, combined with
+the uncertainty of it all, had the most depressing influence. While
+waiting for the long days to pass, killing countless mosquitoes, I
+frequently wondered if the stars could be purposely leading me in the
+wrong direction, or if peace had been declared, and I was on an
+unnecessarily tiring walking tour. As I was approaching a busy
+railway, I frequently heard thuds and crashes, or, if the wind was
+steady, a faint roar, which, I afterwards found, was caused by the
+continued traffic and shunting of trucks. This troubled me quite a
+lot, for it sounded exactly like an intermittent bombardment, and not
+infrequently increased in volume, until I am convinced an old soldier
+would have sworn it was a distant barrage. I pictured my arrival at
+the frontier only to learn that Holland had decided to be in the
+fashion, and was therefore running a little war on her own, on the
+popular Bolshevik excuse of upholding the cause of democracy. The only
+thing left for me to do would have been to have turned about and,
+after many trials and hardships, succeed in getting into Switzerland,
+where Fate, with a smile on her face, would probably have arranged to
+have me shot by accident while on my way through Zurich, during the
+subsequent riots.
+
+Our "_moutons_" in the meantime, have been straying badly; it is,
+therefore, our duty to leave dreams to take care of themselves, and
+return to the subject without more ado. When I had been on the loose
+for a week the country became very flat and sodden--water was
+everywhere. Most of the roads were banked up to guard against flood,
+while all ditches were transformed into small canals. Trees became
+scarcer and, consequently, the daily problem of finding effectual
+cover increased in difficulty. Nearly all the seventh night I followed
+a tow-path at the side of an important canal, which led in a northerly
+direction. Innumerable movable bridges, traversing the lesser
+waterways which flowed into the big canal, had to be crossed. This
+procedure was more alarming than one might suppose, as the frail
+bridges shook at the slightest touch, and also advertised my crossing
+to the inmates of the usual adjoining lodge by magnifying every little
+sound. Most of the way, moored at the water's edge, were barges laden
+with peat, containing all sorts of dogs; in fact, in several instances
+they seemed to be veritable floating dogs' homes. These creatures
+barked as if paid to, and were usually sympathetically answered by
+dogs some distance in advance, thus inadvertently proclaiming the news
+of my arrival. Once two men came out of a cottage twenty yards ahead,
+and, stopping in the path, turned round and watched me approaching.
+That time I really thought the game was up. It was absolutely
+essential to maintain a bold exterior, despite the fact that my
+breathing apparatus almost ceased to work. Slouching quickly along, I
+whistled a bar or two of "P�ppchen." Curiously enough my presence at
+that time of night created no suspicion, for I passed them without
+being spoken to. Before taking a road leading to the west, I sat down
+and dissolved my last Oxo cube in a mug of cold, greenish canal water.
+The meal is prepared as follows: First suck your middle finger until
+it tastes clean, then stir the Oxo until it is dissolved (this usually
+takes about half an hour). Before drinking the concoction it is
+necessary to remove any dead fishes that may be floating on the
+surface, and also make certain that none of the Oxo is wasted by
+remaining underneath the finger nails.
+
+At intervals I was very gratified to see that the sky, to the north
+and north-east, was illuminated by distant searchlights. As several
+naval bases lay in that direction, it is reasonable to suppose that
+the Huns were expecting a visit from our airmen. After following the
+road for over an hour, I procured some excellent apples at a wayside
+farm-house, and beat a hasty retreat. As time wore on and the milk
+carts began rumbling on their rounds, I quickened my pace and
+commenced a desperate search for cover. Leaving the road, I headed
+across the fields, and after jumping, or falling into, several flooded
+ditches, came to an overgrown marsh. A few yards from _terra firma_
+was a large sallow bush, growing on a tiny island. After getting
+thoroughly wet, I succeeded in crawling on to this and screening my
+headquarters from prying eyes with green rushes. As it became lighter,
+I heard occasional voices and peculiar creakings, the cause of which I
+could not interpret, and might well render my position unsafe. The
+anxiety was increased when a large, dark shadow loomed out of the fog
+and threatened to completely swallow my little island. All at once the
+curling white mist drifted away, and everything was explained in an
+instant. The terrifying shadow resolved itself into the great
+red-brown sail of a passing barge. I was lying close beside the
+tow-path of a canal. Just as the sun had risen over the trees and the
+mists were beginning to disperse and float upwards, another noise
+attracted my attention, which developed into a deep throbbing roar.
+Looking up, I saw three large "Zepps," flying low, and rolling
+slightly in the stiff morning breeze, returning to their lair after a
+strenuous night out. As they passed over the school-children in a
+neighbouring village cheered excitedly.
+
+Except for the usual mosquito bites and inability to sleep, the day
+passed uneventfully. When darkness fell and all was quiet again, I
+once more saddled up and started out, this time earnestly hoping, yet
+fearing, to reach the river Ems, which had to be swum whatever
+happened. About midnight I came to something concrete at last--a
+long-expected railway. After a short reconnaissance, I crossed this,
+and made my way over the fields towards the all-important river, which
+flowed parallel to the frontier and about twenty kilos away from it.
+Every few yards I came to a dyke, which always had to be passed
+through if the direction was to be kept. It was an odious experience,
+for, no sooner did I emerge dripping from one than it was time to
+enter the next. About three o'clock, after milking several cows and
+swimming a few small canals, I passed through some open flood-gates,
+built in a grass ridge made to keep the water from encroaching on the
+low-lying farms, and came upon a most disheartening sight. Beyond
+several hundred yards of dangerous marsh flowed the river, looking
+very white in the deceptive light of early morning. The wavelets
+formed by the steady wind and the current were making a faint, but
+disconcerting, noise. Though it was only just possible to discern the
+opposite bank, there seemed to be a similar line of marshy ground
+between it and the water's edge. I determined to see if it was
+possible to get through the marsh with any degree of safety, but gave
+up the idea when some of the old decayed reeds on which I was standing
+suddenly gave way and let me through into the water up to my waist. No
+matter how good a swimmer, a reedy swamp is more than one can contend
+with, therefore I gave up the idea. Crawling out and walking a little
+way along the bank, something loomed up in front of me out of the
+darkness, which turned out to be a long iron bridge. Looking
+cautiously along it, I saw a couple of dim lights burning near the
+other side. What an easy way over; how I should have loved to stroll
+across; but it could not be, for a German guard was waiting there to
+receive me with open arms. Reluctantly I turned away and struck
+inland, intending to travel parallel to the river for some distance
+and then try my luck at another place. Shortly afterwards, when
+tramping along on the grass at the side of a road in search of a
+hiding-place, I heard footsteps approaching. At either side of the
+road grew a row of young trees, but, unfortunately, the trunks were
+not large enough to hide behind. The conditions were such as to render
+discovery inevitable should a hasty retirement be effected. For
+several precious seconds I stood paralysed with indecision, seeing my
+danger, yet unable to avoid it; meanwhile it seemed that cruel fate
+was carelessly deciding my destiny, weighing freedom against captivity
+in a balance, which my indecision was slowly causing to turn against
+me. For a brief period my brain refused to work, except vaguely to
+bring to my notice a few lines from "Eldorado," which affirm that
+there exists a loophole of escape in every difficult situation. This
+seemed to affect my present critical position, though it in no wise
+suggested a course of action.
+
+As I looked at the dyke which ran along at the side of the raised
+road, calculating that the noise made by a passage through it would
+only lead to detection, I clearly remembered an incident in "Lorna
+Doone," in which John Ridd, when a boy, had completely avoided
+discovery by his enemy (Carver Doone) by submerging himself in a
+stream and breathing through a straw. Without waiting to remove the
+pack, I followed his example by throwing myself on my face and
+crawling backwards on to the tangled reeds, which parted with a
+squelch and let me through into the stagnant water. The dyke proved to
+be deeper than I expected. My feet barely touched the bottom, so that
+I was literally clutching a straw to keep myself up. As the footsteps
+passed I kept my face and head under the surface, and trusted to
+Providence. When all the sounds died away, it took me some time
+struggling with mud, weeds and water, before I could extricate myself
+from that confounded ditch. I do not make a good water-rat; I would
+therefore suggest to the German authorities that they should train
+water spaniels, and not police dogs, for pursuit of prisoners in the
+future.
+
+I had only been walking for a little while when the distant rumble of
+a milk-cart reminded me that it was past time to hibernate. Then began
+the usual desperate search for cover. It became lighter and lighter,
+and, just as the mist was about to rise, I saw the faint outline of a
+clump of trees several hundred yards away. Plunging through more
+dykes I arrived at the trees, only to find that they were growing in a
+small garden and orchard which surrounded a large farm-house. As no
+one appeared to be stirring, and the discovery of an immediate
+hiding-place was essential, I commenced explorations. The privet hedge
+surrounding this oasis proved to be very thin and there were no
+convenient little bushes. I had just borrowed a good supply of apples
+from mine host, and had almost decided to seek shelter in an outhouse
+as a last resource, when I came upon a fair-sized heap of sticks, over
+which a hop plant sprawled, forming a straggly green covering. There
+being no better place, I decided that the hop would have to serve as
+my headquarters for that day. I was just moving some of the sticks
+when something caused me to remember the lateness of the hour. From a
+pigsty a few yards away came expectant squeals. The occupants
+doubtless imagined that I was arriving with their breakfast. As I was
+getting ready to crawl into the sticks, I caught sight of a little
+patch of washing close by, lying spread on the grass at the corner of
+a small green lawn. When the good lady came for her washing she would,
+in all probability, discover me, which would never do, as it would
+lead to all kinds of little unpleasantnesses. In a very short space of
+time I had moved the white handkerchiefs and collars to another
+corner of the lawn, not far away, and returned to the heap. I was
+beginning to tunnel into the sticks, when I heard a man's voice,
+followed by the clatter of milk cans. Diving into the small hole
+already made, I wriggled for all I was worth towards the centre,
+dragging the pack after me. It sounds quite simple; all you have to do
+is to wriggle; but, in reality, it is surprisingly difficult. When I
+tried to force an entrance every dead bough in the heap seemed to
+break with an ear-splitting crash, while all the smaller twigs
+crackled in chorus. The most peaceable sticks developed sharp spikes,
+which stuck into me. Even when I had removed a particularly
+objectionable one barring the way, another would shoot out and grasp
+my pack, causing an additional delay. Eventually, in a scratched and
+weary condition, I got under the centre of the heap, where I lay
+feeling none too secure. Although I was forced to keep still for fear
+of attracting attention, I managed to nibble the stolen apples and
+take stock of my surroundings. The light shone through the pale green
+hop leaves, revealing many hairy caterpillars, incessantly gorging.
+Inside the heap lived innumerable spiders and other horrors. These
+believed in making their presence felt when I did not deign to notice
+them. It was a very uncomfortable procedure, drying slowly in a cold
+wind. Once, when the leaves blew on one side, I caught a glimpse of a
+pear tree swaying overhead, and a dark, forbidding sky in the
+background. That day I enjoyed two heavy thunderstorms. At first the
+leaves kept off most of the rain, but it soon battered down with such
+violence that the former became limp and hung down, leaving me almost
+exposed. Everything became saturated. A steady stream of water poured
+off the sticks and ran down my neck, while the insects eagerly sought
+shelter in my clothing. When the first storm was over, and I lay
+shivering in the bright interval, two children came out of the house
+and played about in the garden, running several times round and round
+my heap. It was such a strain lying absolutely still that I almost
+welcomed the second thunderstorm, though it completely soaked
+everything that the first one had overlooked. Never in my life have I
+passed such an uncomfortable day. But, in the end, discomfort is
+preferable to actual danger in an adventure of this sort. At least so
+I thought in those days. As it is beyond me to convey to the reader
+any adequate idea of the unwillingness of the minutes to resolve
+themselves into hours, I will not attempt the impossible. Towards
+evening some one fired a shot-gun just beyond the privet hedge.
+Naturally the explosion caused me to jump, but that was nothing to the
+fright I experienced when it struck me that it might be a small boy
+out rat shooting, as vermin always run to a conveniently close heap of
+sticks for shelter. However, the person did not come my way, and in
+any case it is probable he was only after wild duck, which frequent
+most of the dykes. At last, when I could stand it no longer, I
+scrambled out into the dusk, guiltily ignoring the fact that I was
+running an unnecessary risk by starting on the war-path an hour too
+soon.
+
+
+
+
+                               CHAPTER X
+
+                                THE EMS
+
+
+There was no one about, so, after enjoying a good stretch, I pushed
+through the privet, jumped a narrow dyke, and started out over the
+low-lying fields towards the high grassy barrier which advertised the
+approach to the dreaded river. It was almost dark when I came to
+another portion of the winding, snake-like barrier, which curved out
+as if to meet me. Approaching it, I found that a thick and apparently
+endless prickly May hedge grew along the base. Getting through it
+proved to be such a painful proceeding that it seems probable that as
+soon as the hedge saw an Englishman coming towards it, it sharpened
+its claws and resolved to defend the way to the frontier to the last
+thorn. Of course I may be wrong in my surmise, but I well remember
+that, when I began extracting thorns afterwards, it was like plucking
+a pin-cushion. Crawling on hands and knees up the slippery grassy
+slope, I soon arrived at the top and, scrambling to my feet, looked
+eagerly towards the unknown West. The grassy barrier rose to an even
+height of about thirty feet above the low-lying country. On one side,
+the nearer dykes dividing the fields showed up a dull white in the
+semi-darkness; while on the other, beyond a narrow fringe of swaying
+reed-grass, ran the broad dark river. Although a steady wind was
+blowing, it was not quite as strong as on the previous night, the
+noise of the ripples breaking on the shore not being so pronounced. As
+I had not been dry for several days, the prospect of a prolonged bathe
+was not at all alluring. The longer I looked towards the opposite bank
+the more distant it appeared to be, and the greater became the width
+and volume of the river, until it seemed to be quite impassable.
+Hesitation meant failure, so, running down to the water's edge, I
+began to undress quickly. All at once it struck me that it would be
+foolish to wrap all my earthly belongings in one bundle, for, should
+it come to grief on the way over, I should have a decidedly cool time
+of it after my arrival at the other bank of the river.
+
+Besides, it would be most undignified to be compelled to walk up to a
+German sentry and address him thus: "Please, sir, I am suffering from
+loss of memory and seem to have mislaid my clothes; would you be good
+enough to supply me with a few, as fig trees do not abound in these
+parts?"
+
+Therefore, spreading my sodden waterproof on the ground, I deposited
+in it my tunic, shoes and now half-empty pack. Stuffing all the vacant
+space tightly with grass, I secured the corners by binding them
+together with my braces and bits of torn handkerchief. To complete the
+operation, I fastened my souvenir walking-stick (which, though large
+and clumsy, was exceedingly precious) to the bottom of the bundle in
+order to improve its floating capacities. Passing through the thin
+edging of reed-grass, I stepped into the shallow water and felt my
+feet sink into the deep mud, which gurgled hungrily and sent little
+lines of bubbles up to the surface. In a few strides I was out of my
+depth and amid the swirling eddies, which sought to drag me off down
+stream.
+
+Fortunately the water was warm and the bundle floated well.
+Considering the fact that I had already been tramping for eight days
+on short rations, it is not surprising that I found swimming against a
+steady wind to be very tiring. I kept the bundle well ahead by giving
+it a good push every few strokes, when I overtook it. After swimming
+for several minutes, I unconsciously changed my direction a little, at
+the same time giving the bundle another push ahead. At this part the
+river curved slightly, and the result was that the wind caught my
+worldly belongings and whirled them off down stream. Signalling to the
+engine-room for full speed ahead, I dashed off in pursuit, soon
+overtaking the runaway bundle. By this time, being very out of breath,
+I hung on to it, and was delighted to find that it would practically
+support me. I had been swimming for some little time and it seemed
+probable that my objective would not be far away, so, looking up at
+the stars and noting where the west lay, I raised myself in the water
+and looked for the opposite bank. Curiously enough, it seemed almost
+as far distant as it had been at first. Instinctively I looked back,
+and there, only a little way behind me, was the shore I had just left.
+I must admit that the sight was not encouraging. Well--hanging on to a
+waterlogged bundle and swallowing tadpoles would not help matters, so
+I settled down to business, swimming steadily on my side, but often
+changing the stroke, and heading a little up-stream to counteract the
+force of the current.
+
+Ever so gradually the water became calmer and the shore more clearly
+defined, until I could see a fringe of weeds similar to the one I had
+left. Vaguely I wondered if it would be really worth the extra effort
+required to actually reach it. It seemed so easy to give up. Just as I
+felt my remaining strength slipping away at each stroke I touched some
+soft warm mud. Mud as a rule does not have a stimulating effect on
+one, but then the very touch of it put new life into me. Dragging my
+bundle, I made a final effort to get ashore, but fell in the shallow
+water, where I lay utterly exhausted, hardly conscious of my
+surroundings, my head sinking gradually lower and lower. It must have
+been the objectionable taste of the muddy water which brought me to my
+senses sufficiently to enable me to leave the river for a more
+congenial resting place, namely, some grass at the edge of a field.
+When at last I got up, feeling very cold, and untied the bundle I
+found that everything was absolutely soaking. Assuredly there are many
+more enjoyable pastimes than putting on wet clothes in a cold wind in
+the dark.
+
+When everything was ready for the night's tramp, I discovered that my
+cap was missing, and after a short fruitless search, decided to leave
+it behind. Tired, shivering, and hatless, I started off into the West,
+reckoning that now the frontier could not be much more than a night's
+march away. No sooner had I crossed the little stubble field than I
+came to a ridge, beyond which the ground dropped several feet in a
+steep slope. As I moved down this incline towards what appeared to be
+a hedge, the ground became quite wet. Suspiciously I looked ahead into
+the darkness towards what seemed to be only an expanse of lower
+ground. Near the hedge the water rose over my ankles, but I forged on,
+determined to know the worst. I was not long in suspense, for the
+hedge in front rustled (a thing that well-trained hedges do not do),
+and I knew that it was another long line of high reed-grass. Fearfully
+I parted this with my hands, and there, in front, lay a rippling sheet
+of water, fully as wide as the river I had just crossed. With a thump
+my heart went down into my boots, and the little devil of despair
+whispered that I must be near the mouth of the river, on an island, a
+prisoner of my own making. (In truth, this was very nearly the case,
+for, as I feared, I was very far north, this accounting for the volume
+and width of the river.) This stretch of water was totally unexpected.
+Had I been fresh and known my whereabouts, it would have formed a
+formidable enough obstacle; as it was, I had already done more than my
+share of bathing for that night, and knew that I was in a totally
+unfit condition to attempt another long-distance swim.
+
+Obviously the first thing to be done was to make certain that I was
+indeed on an island, so I proceeded to take stock of my surroundings.
+I noticed that, except for the rough patches on the water which caught
+the wind, the surface was comparatively smooth, and there was no sign
+of a current. Walking a few yards to the right, I saw that the line of
+the old river and this strip of unknown water converged, leaving
+little hope in that direction. I therefore turned about, and started
+off to my left front. Evidence that the cereal crop had been carted
+quite recently was plentiful, for there was short, fresh stubble, cart
+tracks, and the impression of horses' hoofs. This pointed to the
+encouraging fact that I was not on an island, horses and carts not
+usually being transported by barge or aeroplane. I had not followed
+the tracks for more than fifty yards when they turned straight towards
+the water. The next minute I barely stifled a yell of delight, for
+there, staring me in the face, was a sort of pontoon bridge,
+stretching away into the darkness. On closer inspection, I found it to
+be composed of bundles of brushwood which were held together in some
+mysterious manner, and appeared to lie on the water. The surface of
+the bridge was in very bad repair and, as some of the top bundles of
+sticks were missing or pointing upwards at an angle, progress was very
+slow; but, sometimes walking, sometimes crawling, I got along at quite
+a good pace. Once it seemed that I should have to swim a short
+distance, but I found it to be unnecessary, as only the top layer of
+the bundles was missing. Nearing the other side, I made out a factory
+building of some sort, with a high chimney, a little way from the end
+of the bridge, and heard the occasional bark of a watch-dog. Try as I
+would, I could not move an inch without causing a number of sticks to
+crackle loudly--it was almost as bad as crawling under the heap of
+sticks the morning before. Fortunately the wind must have drowned any
+noise made, or carried the sound away, for, though the dog continued
+to bark intermittently, it cannot have been aware of my presence.
+
+Skirting the factory, I went across country, avoiding roads and houses
+like poison. The land was very low and flat and the dykes very
+numerous, sometimes whole fields being practically inundated. The only
+things that tended to relieve the monotony were the solitary gaunt
+willow trees, most of them mere shells of their former selves, which
+stood out from the misty darkness, black and threatening, like grim
+sentinels.
+
+Everywhere was water, water, water. Every few seconds I was up to my
+waist in it. Often I tried to jump a narrow dyke and misjudged the
+distance, or got a bad "take off," owing to the softness of the
+ground; this usually resulted in my falling with a splash into the
+middle. I think the most aggravating thing of all was to make a really
+good jump and land on the other side, just beyond the water-line, on
+all fours, only to find that I had not enough impetus to remain there,
+as the ground was sloping. Sometimes I was able to save myself by
+jabbing my stick into the ground, though, more often than not, this
+was impracticable, and my hands could find nothing firmer to catch
+hold of than a few tufts of grass, which almost invariably gave way,
+causing me to do a graceful but involuntary backward dive into the
+dyke. As constant exercise of this sort is very tiring and the weight
+of water contained in one's clothes greatly hinders freedom of action,
+my progress was necessarily rather slower than usual. A little after
+midnight the ground became harder, and I soon found myself once more
+on a moor, wandering along a narrow sandy track, among deep heather
+and broom bushes. Just as I was getting a little drier and it seemed
+as if the watery nightmare was over, I ran into a series of peat bogs,
+many of them more dangerous than those I had encountered my first
+night out.
+
+I found the best way to cross a narrow strip of marsh was to make a
+rush to the firm ground, as these tactics did not allow enough time
+for my feet to sink in very far. Once the little track I was
+cautiously following ended abruptly at the edge of a particularly
+watery-looking bog, which not only barred my way in front, but also
+curved round on both flanks. In order to avoid this _cul-de-sac_ it
+would have been necessary to make a wide detour, the accomplishment of
+which would have involved the wasting of much valuable time. Selecting
+a point where this strip of marshy ground appeared to be the
+narrowest, I retreated a few steps, gathered myself together, and,
+after a short run, attempted to take the bog by surprise and get
+across before it was quite ready to receive me. Wallowing towards the
+other side, I felt my feet sinking deeply into the decayed peaty moss,
+which gurgled expectantly. I was almost over when suddenly, in a
+second, I sank almost to my waist. Immediately throwing myself on my
+face, I scrambled forward, and digging my stick into the firm ground
+in front, pulled for all I was worth. I was almost free when my poor
+stick broke off with a resounding crack, leaving the top half in my
+hands. This I again drove into the firm ground, and with a final
+effort, drew myself out. After a short rest, during which I mourned
+the loss of my beloved stick, I went on my way determined not to risk
+a passage over any deceitful bogs in the future unless it was
+absolutely unavoidable. Very soon the heather became scarcer, and once
+again I was among dykes and flat, misty, green fields.
+
+For the next two or three hours I ploughed along towards the west,
+climbing over barbed-wire fences and wading through dykes, unless I
+was lucky enough to find a plank or small bridge spanning the latter.
+Scarcely perceptibly the darkness of the eastern sky changed to a dull
+cold grey and the landscape became clearer, revealing the bare
+motionless arms of several windmills stretching out into the clearer
+air, some distance away, in different directions. I roughly judged
+that I could not be far from the frontier. I might even have crossed
+it! Though I did my best to suppress undue optimism, this last rather
+improbable idea persisted in occupying my thoughts. It is true I had
+seen nothing recently on the way to arouse suspicion, but, owing to
+the marshy nature of the country, the guards might well be few and far
+between. The spirit of approaching dawn lent a faint tinge of colour
+to the lonely sweeps of white mist drifting slowly above the flat dark
+fields, and, settling down over the dykes, it commenced to unravel and
+piece together the ghostly confusion of dim blurred shadows and
+grossly exaggerated reflections crowding on the smooth, oily surface
+of the water, until they began to assume a definite shape. I could
+almost imagine that I was gazing at one of Tingue's early-morning
+landscapes, so unmistakably Dutch was the scene. Having got thus far
+no speculations of any sort could be indulged in, the price of
+uncertainty being too great. A distant village clock chimed four, each
+beat vibrating clearly in the still air. The crisis was at hand.
+Having successfully evaded capture during the eight preceding nights
+and days, the very thought of failure was unbearable, and compelled me
+to face the eternal problem of seeking adequate cover for the day at
+an earlier hour than usual. I therefore commenced a search without
+delay, experiencing the while, I am convinced, most of the alarming
+sensations felt by many fat, juicy worms who, having lost their
+burrows, are endeavouring to avoid contact with all marauding "early
+birds." The first glance revealed not so much as a bush or hollow
+willow tree in the immediate vicinity, but in a few minutes I made out
+a number of heaps of some sort away to the right, through the
+semi-darkness, so went to make a closer inspection, only to find that
+two rather broader dykes than usual sought to bar the way. When on the
+march a prolonged wetting is naturally most unpleasant, though the
+continued motion tends to dry one's clothes somewhat by shaking out
+much of the water. However, there being no alternative, I plunged into
+the first dyke, which proved to be quite deep, making it again
+necessary to swim a few strokes. I discovered a plank across the
+second one, and, passing over, found myself in a stubble field among a
+number of corn stooks. There being no better cover, I realised that I
+must hide in one of these little stacks, and chance my luck. The
+problem was to ascertain which part of the field was least likely to
+be overrun by people and dogs. A short inspection showed it to be very
+long and narrow, while several indications went to prove that the last
+of the crop had been cut near my original point of entry into the
+field; this was, therefore, the most desirable part to stay in, as it
+would naturally be the last to be carried. When people walk through a
+field they are most liable to wander along near the edges, or go
+through near the middle; consequently I chose a stook situated between
+the two, and about thirty yards distant from the end of the field.
+These heaps were rather too small to form a safe hiding-place, while
+an unusually large one would, in all probability, attract attention.
+It is reasonable to suppose that, should a general enlargement be
+effected embracing a number of stooks in one area, the result would be
+hardly noticeable. Removing my pack and coat, I set to work
+transporting two oat sheaves from each of the stooks in the next row
+for a length of about fifty yards, and adding them to the row in which
+my nest was planned to be. To avoid suspicion, I made the now depleted
+stooks up to their usual strength by again borrowing the same number
+of sheaves from each of the heaps in the row still further beyond.
+After repeating this strenuous operation a number of times the desired
+effect was produced, most of the heaps in my corner of the field now
+being considerably larger than the rest. Surely it was a good omen
+that my fat sheaves had devoured many of their leaner brethren, even
+though the number was not restricted to seven, as in Pharaoh's dream.
+The value of making oneself as comfortable as possible under adverse
+conditions cannot be over-estimated, for it not only stimulates the
+instinct of self-preservation, but renders one in the best condition
+to face the task ahead. Exposure and fatigue gradually wear down one's
+powers of resistance and bring with them the feeling that nothing
+matters. This is to be avoided more than anything, for it introduces
+the personal element into all reasonings, often forcing a decision
+against one's better judgment. Having chosen my special heap, I
+arranged it in such a way as to leave me as much room for movement as
+possible in the centre. As I exchanged the wetter sheaves for
+comparatively dry ones, the prospect of once again being warm was
+delightful and caused me to work with a will. Everything was almost
+completed, and I was just strewing a little dry straw on the ground
+between the sheaves, to serve as a mattress, when suddenly a man's
+voice hailed me, in unmistakable German, from a distance of about
+fifty yards: "_Was machen sie da_?" ("What are you doing there?"). Any
+doubts as to which country I was in were rudely dispelled. For a
+moment I was completely at a loss for an answer, then, bending down, I
+seized the loose sheaf (which was to have acted as a door to my
+palace) and placed it against the others, and, turning round, replied
+in low German, "I am only replacing these, which have fallen down."
+
+Two workmen were standing just beyond the dyke, having evidently
+approached by an unobserved track, and were now gazing suspiciously at
+me. There being no more prostrate sheaves, I could not very well throw
+some down and then pick them up again, for the action would not have
+been at all convincing. I therefore had to content myself with
+smoothing the side of the stook in a business-like way, trusting that
+the uncertain light would not disclose the insanity of my actions. In
+a few seconds I moved to another stook, and was commencing to stroke
+the sheaves, when the same voices demanded, in a peremptory manner, to
+know what I was really doing. It was a case of bluff, so, busying
+myself with the heap, I snapped out, "Ach! go away, I have a lot to
+do." From the murmur that reached me it was obvious that this abrupt
+answer was puzzling them considerably. My position was still extremely
+unsafe, for border folk are usually of a very suspicious nature, which
+is intensified by the activities of war. At the best of times my
+excuse would have been feeble enough. Ordinary people don't usually
+rise at four a.m. for the purpose of walking round a soaking field
+stroking sheaves of corn. Besides, it was not unlikely that I was
+talking to the owner of the field. Whether they saw the brass buttons
+on my service jacket, or merely felt that I was wanted, I do not know,
+but they walked quickly towards the plank spanning the dyke which
+divided their field from mine. Directly they reached it one of them
+shouted something that I could not understand and was immediately
+answered by a third person, away in the mist. Once across the plank
+the men, after jabbering excitedly, came towards me at a quick run.
+Needless to say, it is extremely dangerous to be chased in bare
+country of this sort just when the day is breaking and the fields
+rapidly filling with workers, for once the alarm is raised the result
+is almost certain to mean capture. This time, however, it was not a
+matter of choice; my hand had been forced, compelling me reluctantly
+to play my last card. Picking up my pack and coat, I ran as only once
+before in my varied career--the night when I almost felt the
+pitchforks belonging to the little devils which chased me away from
+Str�hen camp. After running about a hundred yards, trusting to the
+mist and uncertain light to partially screen my movements, I turned
+aside and dived headlong into a stook, pulling the straw after me. In
+a few seconds my pursuers drew level and, to my intense satisfaction,
+passed on, breathing heavily. This is the last I saw of these two
+eager sons of the Fatherland. For all I know, they may be still
+following the excellent example afforded by "Charlie's Aunt."
+
+
+
+
+                              CHAPTER XI
+
+                                HOLLAND
+
+
+I was now in a small wet stook, very cold and hungry. It being too
+light to risk a return journey to my carefully prepared nest, I had to
+take things as they were, and fell to wondering what it must feel like
+to be in a nice warm bed. The day proved to be one long nightmare. By
+careful observation I saw that a number of girls were working on the
+same crop, luckily at the other end of the field. They appeared only
+to be gleaning, but as it was quite likely this was preparatory to the
+carting, I resolved to keep a very sharp look-out to avoid being
+transfixed by a pitchfork and hoisted on to a cart. About
+breakfast-time a peculiar noise came from somewhere quite close, so,
+parting the corn carefully, I peered out in that direction. There, to
+my horror, were three men scything the rushes along a ditch which
+passed a few feet from me. The heap was a small one, and, therefore,
+to avoid detection, I endeavoured to put the best part of it between
+myself and them when they were working the closest to me. The
+completion of this operation naturally left me a little exposed on
+what I supposed to be my safe side. The men had almost passed, when I
+happened to look away from the ditch and saw a farmer standing beside
+the very next heap to mine, surveying the crop, his hands in his
+pockets. Somehow or other I wriggled back unobserved, and lay
+shivering with a combination of cold and fear. After half-an-hour's
+wait, I again looked out cautiously, and was relieved to find the man
+gone, though there seemed to be even more people in the neighbourhood
+than before. To add to my discomfort the breeze increased to quite a
+strong, piercing wind, which whistled in and out among the
+corn-sheaves until I felt very like an ice-cream in a refrigerator.
+Even then there were more trials to come, for, not only did the grain
+pour itself into my clothes, eyes and ears, but also mixed with the
+crop was a large proportion of barley or bearded wheat, which took a
+truly fiendish delight in slowly but relentlessly making its way up my
+sleeves or down my back. In this predicament it seemed almost
+unthinkable that I should ever have been so foolish in my schooldays
+as to pick barley heads and deliberately put them a little way up my
+coat-sleeves, the barbs downwards, expressly for the pleasure of
+feeling them crawling up my arms. Most of us do curious things in our
+youth!
+
+Suffice it to say that, in spite of all convictions to the contrary, I
+was still in the heap, unmolested, when the afternoon resolved itself
+into evening and the labourers left for their homes. A little before
+nine o'clock, after a short but drenching shower, I could stand it no
+longer, so crawled out, damp and cold, but still almost glad to be
+alive. Looking towards the west in the fading light, I saw a large
+shape moving slowly from left to right through the country, roughly a
+couple of miles away. It could only be a sail. With a sinking feeling
+I realised that in front lay at least one more canal which must be
+crossed. (This canal, I afterwards discovered, was actually in
+Holland.) Although I did not feel desperately hungry, I somehow felt
+that I was getting near the end of my tether; my food, also, was
+dwindling and could not last more than two days at the outside, for I
+was already half-way through my emergency ration, a tin of Quaker
+oats. Strange to say, porridge is nothing like as nice eaten raw.
+
+As soon as it was dark I started out, resolved not only to be
+extremely cautious, but, at the same time, to get as far as possible
+before the next day overtook me, time now threatening to form one of
+my most formidable adversaries. Travelling across country, I soon came
+upon a long road bordered by trees, so hid in the edge of some beans
+to make sure that all was clear before venturing across it. Almost
+immediately I heard voices not far distant, and presently a man on a
+bicycle rode past. When everything was quiet again I managed to step
+across the road unobserved, feeling sure that another danger point was
+past. The night being cold it may be imagined that I was scarcely
+overjoyed at finding it necessary to wade or swim through another
+short series of dykes; this was, however, the case. Drawing near to
+the dreaded canal, I noticed that on either flank, some distance away,
+were clusters of rather brilliant lights. Presumably this pointed to
+the fact that these lights were placed at points of special
+importance, such as strongly guarded bridges, in which case it seemed
+probable that the canal might form part of the boundary line. In order
+to avoid the slightest rustle which might attract attention, I rolled
+my raincoat and secured it over one shoulder, "bandolier fashion." I
+next covered the brass buttons of my tunic with mud, to prevent their
+reflecting the rays of a possible flashlight, and, after smearing some
+dirt on my face and hands, moved forward once more, prepared, in case
+of discovery, to make a dash towards the west regardless of the
+consequences.
+
+In a few minutes I saw, by the even line of the higher ground in
+front, that I had almost reached the raised canal, and was just
+preparing to mount the short, grassy slope when I came upon a
+hard-worn narrow track running along near the edge of a rather wide
+dyke, which separated me from the embankment. The dyke being in the
+lee of the wind it seemed advisable to ascertain whether it was
+possible to cross by any plank or bridge which might be in the
+vicinity in preference to going through it, for, though one may be
+able to get into a dyke quietly enough, the getting out is a very
+different matter when the sides are steep and one's clothes full of
+water. Walking along this path very warily for about twenty yards, I
+was lucky enough to discover a plank leading across (for except for
+the faint silhouette of the top of the embankment against the sky,
+practically everything was hidden by the darkness). Though the plank
+bent threateningly I succeeded in crossing it, and crawled to the top
+of the rise. A glance revealed a broad, reed-fringed canal, reflecting
+little dancing lights on its wind-swept surface--the stars which had
+the audacity to peep out from between the clouds. I could hear the
+splashings of a water-rat actually swimming at that time of night for
+the fun of it! Quickly crossing the tow-path and parting the reeds, I
+followed its example, and, not waiting to remove pack, clothing or
+shoes, swam towards the opposite bank as silently as possible. It can
+only have been a few yards across, but I remember feeling almost as
+tired as if I had swum the Channel. This was the tenth night of my
+escapade, and the strain was certainly beginning to tell. As I was
+leaving the canal behind some wild duck rose from a dyke close by me,
+with much flapping of wings. If their desire was to frighten me they
+certainly achieved their object.
+
+When, after an hour or more, I continued plodding along without seeing
+anything unusual, I could not help again wondering if I was still in
+German territory. My curiosity increased when two motor cycles with
+powerful headlights went by on what appeared to be a main road. I had
+not seen anything like that for weeks, so resolved to go along the
+road myself in the hope of seeing some other strange sights.
+Immediately on arriving there I had to take cover in a corner of an
+orchard to avoid another light, which was rapidly overtaking me. From
+this point of vantage I was soon able to see that the light was on a
+bicycle, and the rider not a tin soldier, complete with helmet and
+curling moustache, but a peaceably dressed young woman. Encouraged by
+the promising trend of events, I stole some apples and made my way,
+munching and shivering, towards a little group of houses, hoping to
+discover some writing which might prove which country I was in.
+Eventually I found a letter-box and feverishly endeavoured to
+decipher, in the semi-darkness, a long word printed in black letters
+on a white background. With a sinking heart I slowly made out the
+letters B--R--I--E. Was it necessary to read any further? Surely this
+was proof positive that I was still under the gentle sway of the
+Kaiser! What else could the remainder be but "fkasten," completing the
+German word for letter-box. With almost a feeling of resignation, I
+continued to wrest the remaining letters from the darkness. The
+expected F was a very peculiar shape. No, it was a V, after all! With
+every letter my hopes rose as I spelt out the remaining E N B U S. I
+do not profess to be a German scholar, but I do know that the word
+"BRIEVENBUS" does not adorn their letter-boxes in the ordinary course
+of events. Feeling vaguely happy, but still haunted by the first
+syllable of the word, I made my way further into the village. At first
+all seemed quiet, but presently I heard a couple talking near the
+entrance of a house. Creeping up as close as I dared in the deep
+shadow of the building, I strained my ears almost to dislocation to
+catch a few words of the conversation. The language they were speaking
+struck me as peculiarly ugly, and did not seem to lend itself readily
+to the uses to which they were undoubtedly putting it. The fact that
+they were not speaking ordinary German did not necessarily mean that
+the language was Dutch, for it might have been some border dialect.
+However, I could restrain myself no longer, so, walking up to the man,
+I addressed him thus in German, with as much nonchalance as I could
+command: "Can you tell me if I am in Germany or Holland?" He did not
+seem to grasp the question at once, which in itself was a good sign,
+though it lengthened my breathless suspense. I believe I would
+willingly have murdered him if, by doing so, I could have had the
+answer an instant sooner, for so much depended on it. All at once he
+straightened himself up and, in a surprised voice, replied, "Holland!"
+
+I should never have believed that one simple word could have meant so
+much. The news so completely overwhelmed me that, for a few seconds, I
+failed to grasp its import. Then, springing forward, I seized and
+shook his hand so violently that it almost threatened to fall off, at
+the same time showering explanations at him in a hundred and one
+different languages, in the hope that he would understand one of them.
+Needless to say, at first the unfortunate Dutchman was rather
+perturbed at being so cordially greeted by some one he must have
+thought to be a dangerous lunatic at large, though I consider that he
+stood the ordeal very well. I think the girl was the first to really
+grasp the situation, for, to my surprise, she congratulated me in
+broken German, and insisted on shaking hands, too. In spite of the
+good news I was still wet, cold and hungry, and the prospect of again
+sleeping in a warm bed was very alluring. I therefore inquired the way
+to the nearest hotel, and was told to make for a larger village, some
+three kilometres distant. I asked if there was any possibility of my
+taking a wrong turn leading back into Hunland, and being assured there
+was none if I followed the main road, started off in the best of
+spirits. It was just like walking on air. My dreams of freedom had at
+last come true. Though it was after one o'clock, I encountered several
+people and each time inquired the way, thus making assurance doubly
+sure. I can hardly attempt to describe the strange exultant feelings
+which surged through me as I marched along, conscious of having left
+"Brother Bosch" behind.
+
+Eventually, singing a marching song, I rounded a corner and found
+myself in a village street, almost opposite a house in front of which
+hung a sign, just distinguishable in the darkness: "Hotel Van Dijk."
+Regardless of the fact that I did not possess a cent, I proceeded to
+knock loudly on the front door. After a few minutes my efforts were
+rewarded by hearing an upstairs window open, and being told in Dutch
+to go away. However, my mind being made up, I persisted in making more
+noise than ever. Seeing his protestations were in vain, and evidently
+scenting something unusual, I understood "mein Host" to say that he
+would come down. My knowledge of the laws of internment of a neutral
+country being very limited, it behoved me to act with extreme caution
+if I wished to follow in the footsteps of brother escapers, whom I
+knew had preceded me to England.
+
+Though I had committed no act of war, such as crossing the frontier
+carrying arms, I did not feel very sure of my ground. Therefore when
+the elderly innkeeper, holding a flickering candle, shot back the
+bolts, he found me wearing only a khaki shirt and grey flannel
+trousers, the soaking raincoat and tunic having been hurriedly
+secreted in my pack, so that he could not assert that I was in uniform
+when he first saw me, in case the subject should be raised later. As
+soon as he heard the facts of the case, the Dutchman motioned me to
+accompany him along the street, which I did wonderingly. I imagined
+myself shortly being interviewed by a fat, sleepy-eyed and pompous
+burgomaster, who would either fall upon my neck, or order me straight
+back to Germany. After half-an-hour's walk, when my guide halted
+beside a long wooden hut and knocked vigorously, I decided that there
+was nothing to fear in that direction, for no such distinguished
+person would deign to live in so humble a residence. Presently, in
+answer to our repeated efforts, we heard several grumbling voices, a
+door was opened, and I was bidden to enter. As soon as I was
+accustomed to the glaring gas-light, I experienced a considerable
+shock. Occupying the whole length of the room in which I stood was a
+double line of beds, mostly containing sleeping men, and from the
+walls hung many greenish uniforms, rifles and bayonets! On recovering
+from my first surprise, I turned to a fully dressed soldier I took to
+be a sergeant, who by this time, presumably, understood that I was an
+escaped "Inglesman," and asked him, in German, for an explanation. In
+the midst of his almost unintelligible reply I caught the word
+"_Grenswacht_" (frontier guard). Seeing that we were at cross
+purposes, the sergeant roused a man who spoke very fair English and
+acted as interpreter. I soon learnt that I was in the local
+headquarters of the Dutch Frontier Guard, and would have to remain
+there until seen by an officer the next day. This suited me only too
+well, so having duly impressed the fact that I was not in uniform, I
+retired to a bed arranged for me in the N.C.O.'s room, and commenced
+to pull off my wet clothes.
+
+Meanwhile tongues had not been idle, and eager, curious faces began to
+peep at the "stray dog" through the half-open door. Just as I was
+about to turn in, curiosity could be restrained no longer; the room
+filled with noisy young fellows, who took up a position round my bed
+and proceeded to bombard me with questions. It was all so well meant
+that I endeavoured to give them a brief outline of my doings, in
+German. The idea of an Englishman speaking German was evidently quite
+beyond their comprehension, for, judging by many doubtful looks of
+astonishment, it seemed that the general impression was that I was a
+camouflaged Hun. As they all persisted in talking at once, I put an
+end to the argument by disappearing under the bedclothes. About ten
+o'clock the next morning I awoke, feeling stiffer than ever before,
+the slightest contraction of a muscle resembling the jerking of a
+rusty wire. However, when a soldier, seeing that I was awake, brought
+my breakfast, I sat up with remarkable agility and devoured every
+crumb. Never have I enjoyed a meal more. Every additional mouthful of
+the deliciously fresh Dutch cheese and new bread seemed to receive a
+still more exquisite taste when I thought of the Irish stew I had
+missed when standing behind my imitation wall at Str�hen. It was not
+until after a thoroughly good scrub and a cold bath that I could screw
+up enough courage to look at myself in a mirror, and, prepared as I
+was, the sudden reflection of the wild-eyed, bearded tramp
+considerably surprised me. A little before lunch, having obtained some
+dry underclothing, I was sitting on my bed, extracting a selection of
+barbed wire and splinters from my hands with a large needle, when a
+Dutch officer walked in to see the curiosity. He greeted me cordially
+in very good English, introducing himself as Lieutenant Hoffman, in
+charge of the local detachment of the Frontier Guard, and asked me to
+lunch with him at his hotel.
+
+On the way thither I could not help being very impressed by the design
+and beauty of the village. The houses were mostly large, with
+spacious, well-kept gardens, the streets clean and the general
+atmosphere of the place spoke of great prosperity. Hoffman took me to
+a barber, who performed for a long time, but in the end turned out a
+comparatively respectable human being. At lunch I met another Dutch
+officer, also an English scholar, who, after hearing the latter part
+of my experience, told me that I must have actually walked along the
+German sentry's path, just beyond the canal, the night before. Having
+had no escaped prisoners in that district before, they had a
+disquieting idea that I should very likely be interned. I learnt that,
+in all probability, I should proceed to a larger town for further
+examination the following day, and gathered that, in the meantime, it
+would be advisable for me to remain close to my headquarters and
+refrain from wandering about by myself, the frontier being too close
+for safety.
+
+Shortly after lunch the two officers entered the room, carrying a
+couple of sporting guns, and announced their intention of spending the
+afternoon at a canal on the frontier duck shooting, and said that I
+might expect them back about tea-time. Being a prisoner no longer the
+very thought of seeing grey-clad sentries standing at their posts
+appealed to me so much that I begged to be allowed to accompany them,
+deciding to run the small risk such a visit might entail. Hoffman was
+considerably surprised at my proposal, but said I could come at my own
+risk if I thought I had known him long enough to be able to take his
+word. He reminded me, at the same time, that one can easily step over
+a frontier line, intentionally or otherwise, and produced a loaded
+automatic pistol from his coat pocket as if to back up his argument,
+asking me to choose my course of action. For a few seconds I reasoned
+with myself and then accepted, it seeming perfectly obvious that
+Hoffman would never have shown his hand had he intended playing a
+crooked game. Just before starting the innkeeper lent me a civilian
+cap and overcoat, which gave me a sense of security and enabled me to
+set out with the others if not a perfect, at any rate a passable
+Dutchman.
+
+Presently we arrived at a bridge-head, where the Dutch guard turned
+out and saluted, when, it must be confessed, I felt a trifle nervous,
+being then almost on the frontier. The formalities over, we left our
+bicycles in the guardroom and, crossing the bridge, proceeded along
+the tow-path at the side of the canal. There, sure enough, were the
+grey-clad sentries, standing near their boxes along a little raised
+path, at intervals varying from one to two hundred yards. Seeing that
+our presence seemed to occasion considerable interest on the part of
+the sentries, I inquired the reason from one of my companions, and was
+informed that only persons in the company of Dutch officers were
+allowed where we were walking, in the neutral zone dividing the two
+countries. Curiously enough the water dog, whose duty it was to start
+the birds from among the reeds, was English and went by the name of
+"Tom." Fortunately he was very obedient, for had he once crossed
+between the extenuated lines of grey men Tom would have afforded the
+Huns some moving target practice, which in all probability would have
+resulted in his contributing to a sausage machine. I am sure I do not
+know what I should have done if this had happened while I was with the
+party, for Tom, when feeling lonely, used to run straight up to me,
+wagging his stumpy tail and looking up with eyes which so plainly said
+that he was indeed glad to meet a fellow-countryman, for, though
+Dutchmen were kind enough to him, the scent was somewhat different.
+
+Towards the end of the afternoon we came to a place where the frontier
+line gradually converged, running parallel to, and about twenty-five
+yards away from, the canal, just the other side of a dyke at the
+bottom of the embankment. It must have been somewhere here that an
+unseen hand had unconsciously guided me to safety through the darkness
+of the night before. I selected a particularly Hunnish-looking sentry,
+who was standing beside a painted black and white box, with a long,
+wicked-looking and old-patterned bayonet gleaming above his slung
+rifle, and, hailing him casually, remarked that it must be weary work
+doing nothing, and inquired if he was tired of the war, to which he
+replied with a sullen "_Ja_." Undismayed by his dismal expression, I
+inquired if they ever had any escaped prisoners in those parts. This
+time he did not deign to answer, but merely shook his head solemnly.
+By removing my coat I could have easily disillusioned him, but,
+remembering that a rifle bullet is not a thing to be trifled with, I
+refrained.
+
+Feeling my triumph complete, I turned and limped away, still hardly
+able to realise that only a few hours before I had unknowingly paraded
+along the same little raised path which the Germans were so jealously
+guarding. Of all my escapes this was the most inexplicable. To what
+was it due? Certainly not to my own initiative alone. Man's extremity
+is indeed God's opportunity.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+Supreme in the world of red tape, far above the ken of misguided
+mortals, lives an omnipotent being--the Censor. In imagination, he
+sits in a huge armchair, wreathed in tobacco smoke, casually sorting,
+from piles of manuscript, the sheep from the goats. The former are
+destined to be smothered in official stamps and coloured inks, while
+the latter are cast ignominiously into the gigantic waste-paper
+basket. Though this little sheep, in particular, may have a little of
+its wool shorn off, I trust that it may eventually avoid the rubbish
+heap. For this reason I must ask the reader to be contented with a
+very curtailed and disjointed account of the remainder of my
+wanderings.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+In due course I was placed in a quarantine camp, to remain there until
+a given number of days should elapse, when, on being pronounced free
+from infection, I should be allowed to continue my journey through
+Holland. The camp contained a number of German deserters who, it
+appeared, crossed the frontier in this district at the average rate of
+one per diem, having for the most part arrived direct from the front,
+with every intention of leaving their beloved "_Vaterland_" behind for
+ever. They made no secret of the fact that they hoped to be able to
+emigrate to England or America as soon as it was all over. Several of
+them were N.C.O.'s, wearing the black and white ribbon of the Iron
+Cross, to all appearances good soldiers whom their relentless system
+had forced to desertion rather than the terror of the British guns.
+The Germans occupied a separate hut, and were kept strictly to
+themselves. This probably saved a lot of trouble, for, judging by the
+spirited way they occasionally sang "_Deutschland, Deutschland �ber
+alles_," accompanied by an accordion, the spirit of patriotism and
+savage "kultur" still flowed in their veins. Doubtless the first
+German band to return to England will be composed of the most gentle
+peace and beer-loving Huns that ever visited our favoured shores.
+Whatever the nature of the welcome and guarantees extended to them by
+our English "Bolsheviks" (who even now have the audacity to advocate a
+policy of "shake and be friends"), their lives will not be at all
+secure when they come in contact, as they ultimately must, with
+Britishers who have been most brutally treated and forced to work as
+prisoners in the German salt mines, men who have come to know the
+truth of the saying, "Once a Bosch, always a Bosch," during their stay
+of several years in Hunland. I feel genuinely sorry for the very few
+really nice Germans who certainly do exist (several of whom I met
+during my captivity). However, considering that their influence has
+been practically _nil_ in the War, on account of their being in such a
+minority, I suppose they will be bound to suffer with the rest.
+
+The number of escaped French and Russian soldiers was surprising.
+However they must have had many excellent opportunities, while
+working in the fields near the frontier, to cross the dividing line.
+It did not take me long to discover three British privates, who were
+distinctly bored and very pleased to see me. The eldest was a South
+African, escaped from a reprisal camp, while the other two belonged to
+the Warwicks. Though little more than boys they had in all probability
+seen more of the hardships of life than many men of treble their age.
+Great excitement prevailed when, by dint of much cajoling, I managed
+to procure a mandoline from the town, for, though the meals were very
+much looked forward to and enjoyed, the rest of the time passed very
+slowly. It is not easy to play tunes to satisfy the cravings of
+different nationalities at a moment's notice. A few Russians flung
+themselves about to the lilt of some of their rowdiest cake-walks,
+while the "Marseillaise," seeming a universal favourite, was
+repeatedly called for. On the morning of the fourth day three
+weird-looking figures, wearing a queer mixture of ready-made Dutch
+garments, entered the camp with a guard. I could scarcely believe my
+eyes when I recognised some of my former companions at Str�hen. Two of
+them, Captain Harrison, of the Royal Irish, and Lieutenant C. F.
+Templar, 1st Gloucesters (since then, I regret to say, killed in
+action), were "old Contemptibles," having been captured about the
+beginning of the War, while the third, Lieutenant J. Insall, V.C.,
+R.F.C., had been in captivity two years. They had all made many
+previous attempts to escape, and consequently had sampled many German
+prisons, and now at last succeeded. Captain Harrison, I have since
+heard, was again captured, during the German advance in the spring of
+'18, but was fortunately able to regain our lines the same night. Our
+delight at meeting again outside Germany was mutual, and, having so
+many notes to exchange, the time then passed much more rapidly. After
+various communications with the British authorities, we were
+successful at last in getting in touch with the British Minister at
+the Hague, who almost immediately obtained our release from the
+quarantine camp, to the unbounded astonishment of the local Dutch
+magnates.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+Receiving an invitation to visit Sir Walter Townley (British
+Minister), I proceeded to the Hague, freed at last from the annoying
+formality of being continually escorted by an officer or guard.
+Imagine my pleasure at once more sitting down to afternoon tea in an
+English drawing-room. I shall never forget the kind thought and
+solicitude of my hostess, Lady Susan. I almost seemed to be in
+England.
+
+Before catching my train back, I engaged a taxi and tried to see as
+much of the town as possible in the time. The driver understood but
+little of my directions; the sight, however, of a few _guldens_ caused
+him to drive so recklessly that I thought my last hour had come. It
+seemed that we must be leaving the path strewn with luckless victims.
+Arriving at the Palace of Peace, where the nations had so
+unsuccessfully beguiled each other with "smooth words, softer than
+honey," I succeeded in inducing my charioteer to come to a standstill.
+Alighting, a policeman informed me that the building had just been
+closed, but pointed out the highly ornamental metal gates, which, at
+the cost of 40,000 marks, had been presented by the Kaiser Wilhelm a
+few years before the War. Espying on them angels of peace carrying
+palm branches, I could contain myself no longer, so delivered an
+impassioned harangue to the astonished Dutchman on the subject of
+hypocrisy, in a mixture of German, French and Dutch. Presently, seeing
+a large crowd gathering around us, I concluded my remarks with a
+substantial tip, and signalling to "Mynheer Mercury," was once more
+whirled into space.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+The convoy, in formation, steamed through the neutral waters towards
+the open sea. On board were a party of women and children, proceeding
+from Germany to England for repatriation. Several of them must have
+been in Germany an exceedingly long time, for they could only speak
+broken English, while some of the children, having evidently been born
+there, could speak no English at all. Soon the ship began to roll
+gently in response to the ever-increasing swell. As the White Ensign
+fluttered happily from the stern, most of us took advantage of the
+still comparatively calm sea by parading along the deck in company
+with a British commodore, confidently straining our eyes to catch a
+first glimpse of the approaching escort; and it was, unfortunately,
+obvious that every one on board did not share our good spirits. As the
+disconcerting movements of the ship increased, the Anglo-German
+element, pale-faced and dejected, assembled amidships, and forming a
+small, huddled group, hastily commenced to put on their cork jackets
+and life-belts, evidently preparing for the expected impact of the
+dreaded torpedo. Just then, as the look-out, attracted by some specks
+of foam emerging from the grey, misty horizon, signalled that a number
+of ships were fast approaching, they could stand the strain no longer,
+so, breaking into a weird German chant, they wailed disconsolately.
+Could it be that the victorious German fleet, of which they had so
+often heard, was at this very moment bearing down upon us? Perish the
+thought! The specks of white grew larger with alarming rapidity. It
+was not until the British destroyer flotilla was almost on us that we
+could discern, behind each dividing mass of curving foam, the sinister
+and capable grey shapes of Britannia's watch-dogs moving swiftly, in
+perfect harmony with sea and sky. As if inspired by one mind, our
+guardians turned about, and silently taking up their respective
+positions at a reduced speed, they passed with us safely along the
+King's Highway!
+
+
+          THE WHITEFRIARS PRESS, LTD., LONDON AND TONBRIDGE.
+
+
+
+
+                             PHILIP GIBBS
+                        ON THE WAR IN FLANDERS
+
+     I. The Battles of the Somme
+                              6/- net
+
+    II. From Bapaume to Passchendaele
+                              6/- net
+
+   III. Open Warfare         10/6 net
+
+                 London: Wm. Heinemann, 21 Bedford St.
+
+
+
+
+                        _OTHER RECENT VOLUMES_
+
+THE SWORD OF DEBORAH.
+By F. Tennyson Jesse. F'cap 8vo.
+                         3/- net
+
+A woman's account of woman's work in
+France.
+
+THE LOVERS. By Elizabeth
+Robins Pennell. F'cap 8vo.
+                   2/6 net
+
+A true love story of the war.
+
+A DIARY WITHOUT DATES.
+By Enid Bagnold. F'cap 8vo.
+                    2/6 net
+
+"Here is a book that will live on."--_Morning
+Post._
+
+                  London: Wm. Heinemann, Bedford St.
+
+
+
+
+                          Transcriber's Notes
+
+The list of other volumes in the collection has been moved from the
+front of the book to the end.
+
+Obvious typographical errors have been fixed. See the list below for
+details. The original errata in the book has been included.
+
+                             Issues fixed:
+
+page 5--typo fixed: changed 'stacatto' to 'staccato'
+page 25--errata typo fixed: changed 'weis' to 'weiss'
+page 32--spelling normalized: changed 'guard-room' to 'guardroom'
+page 43--errata typo fixed: changed 'balolaika' to 'balalaika'
+page 47--errata typo fixed: changed 'Weiswein' to 'Weisswein'
+page 51--errata typo fixed: changed 'Hammelin' to 'Hameln'
+page 55--errata typo fixed: changed 'Weiswein' to 'Weisswein'
+page 75--typo fixed: changed 'Middlesessex' to 'Middlesex'
+page 103--spelling normalized: changed 'gaolbirds' to 'gaol-birds'
+page 111--spelling normalized: changed 'bathroom' to 'bath-room'
+page 126--typo fixed: changed 'Pupchen' to 'P�ppchen'
+page 127--typo fixed: changed 'farmhouse' to 'farm-house'
+page 152--typo fixed: changed 'Strohen' to 'Str�hen'
+page 159--errata typo fixed: changed 'feasten' to 'fkasten'
+page 165--typo fixed: changed 'Strohen' to 'Str�hen'
+page 167--spelling normalized: changed 'guard-room' to 'guardroom'
+page 171--typo fixed: changed 'uber' to '�ber'
+page 172--typo fixed: changed 'Strohen' to 'Str�hen'
+
+
+
+
+
+End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of 'Brother Bosch', an Airman's Escape
+from Germany, by Gerald Featherstone Knight
+
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+
+The Project Gutenberg EBook of 'Brother Bosch', an Airman's Escape from
+Germany, by Gerald Featherstone Knight
+
+This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with
+almost no restrictions whatsoever.  You may copy it, give it away or
+re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included
+with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org
+
+
+Title: 'Brother Bosch', an Airman's Escape from Germany
+
+Author: Gerald Featherstone Knight
+
+Release Date: November 10, 2008 [EBook #27229]
+
+Language: English
+
+Character set encoding: ISO-8859-1
+
+*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK BROTHER BOSCH ***
+
+
+
+
+Produced by Irma Spehar and the Online
+Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net (This
+file was produced from images generously made available
+by The Internet Archive/American Libraries.)
+
+
+
+
+
+
+</pre>
+
+
+<h1>&#8220;Brother Bosch&#8221;</h1>
+
+<h3>AN AIRMAN&#8217;S ESCAPE<br />
+FROM GERMANY</h3>
+
+<p class="center" style="padding-top: 2em; font-size: 80%">BY</p>
+
+<p class="center" style="padding-top: 1em; font-size: 130%">CAPTAIN KNIGHT, R.A.F.</p>
+
+<p class="publisher">1919<br />
+
+LONDON: WILLIAM HEINEMANN</p>
+
+<p class="dedication">
+<big>To the Memory of</big><br />
+<br />
+<big>CAPTAIN MORRITT,</big><br />
+<span style="line-height: 200%"><big>LIEUT. MEDLICOTT,</big></span><br />
+<big>LIEUT. WALTERS,</big><br />
+<br />
+<small>AND ALL OTHER OFFICERS, N.C.O.&#8217;S AND MEN,</small><br />
+<small>WHO, BEING LESS FORTUNATE,</small><br />
+<small>GAVE THEIR LIVES IN THE ENDEAVOUR.</small>
+</p>
+
+<div class="poem"><div class="stanza">
+<span class="i0">Belov&egrave;d Country! banished from thy shore,<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">A stranger in this prison house of clay,<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">The exiled spirit weeps and sighs for thee!<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Heavenward the bright perfections I adore<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Direct, and the sure promise cheers the way,<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">That, whither love aspires, there shall my dwelling be.<br /></span>
+</div></div>
+
+<p class="right"><i>Longfellow.</i></p>
+
+
+<h3 style="padding-top: 2em">NOTE</h3>
+
+
+<p>&#8220;The spelling of the word &#8216;Bosch&#8217; was the
+customary one in the German prisoners&#8217; camps
+from which the author made his escape, and is
+retained for the sake of local colour.&#8221;</p>
+
+
+<h3 style="padding-top: 2em">ERRATA</h3>
+
+<ul>
+<li>P. <a href="#Page_25">25</a>, line 6 from bottom, <i>for</i> &#8220;<i>weis</i>&#8221; <i>read</i> &#8220;<i>weiss</i>.&#8221;</li>
+
+<li>P. <a href="#Page_43">43</a>, line 14, <i>for</i> &#8220;balolaika&#8221; <i>read</i> &#8220;balalaika.&#8221;</li>
+
+<li>P. <a href="#Page_47">47</a>, line 10 and p. <a href="#Page_55">55</a>, line 16, <i>for</i> &#8220;<i>Weiswein</i>&#8221; <i>read</i> &#8220;<i>Weisswein</i>.&#8221;</li>
+
+<li>P. <a href="#Page_51">51</a>, line 7, <i>for</i> &#8220;Hammelin&#8221; <i>read</i> &#8220;Hameln.&#8221;</li>
+
+<li>P. <a href="#Page_126">126</a>, line 20, <i>for</i> &#8220;Pupchen&#8221; <i>read</i> &#8220;P&uuml;ppchen.&#8221;</li>
+
+<li>P. <a href="#Page_159">159</a>, line 16, <i>for</i> &#8220;Briefeasten&#8221; <i>read</i> &#8220;Briefkasten.&#8221;</li>
+</ul>
+
+
+
+
+<p class="center" style="font-size: 130%; letter-spacing: .15ex; padding-top: 4em">&#8220;BROTHER BOSCH&#8221;<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_1" id="Page_1">[1]</a></span></p>
+
+<p class="center" style="font-size: 110%">(An Airman&#8217;s Capture and subsequent<br />
+Escape from Germany)</p>
+
+
+
+<h2><a name="CHAPTER_I" id="CHAPTER_I"></a>CHAPTER I</h2>
+
+<h4>CAPTURED</h4>
+
+
+<p><span class="smcap"><big>I</big>t</span> was November 9th, 1916. I lay in a
+state of luxurious semi-consciousness pondering
+contentedly over things in general, transforming
+utter impossibilities into plausible
+possibilities, wondering lazily the while if I
+were asleep. Presently, to my disgust an
+indefinable, yet persistent &#8220;something&#8221;
+came into being, almost threatening to dispel
+the drowsy mist then pervading my brain.
+The slow thought waves gradually ceased
+their surging, and after a slight pause began
+to collect round the offending mystery, as if
+seeking to unravel it in a half-hearted sort
+of way. They gave me to understand that
+the &#8220;something&#8221; recurred at intervals, and
+even suggested that it might be a voice,<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_2" id="Page_2">[2]</a></span>
+though from which side of the elastic dividing
+line it emanated they were quite unable to
+say. With the consoling thought that voices
+often come from dreamland I allowed the
+whole subject to glide gently into the void
+and the tide of thought to continue its
+drugged revolutions. The next instant a
+noisy whirlwind swept the cobwebs away.
+I knew that the voice was indeed a reality,
+for it delivered the following message: &#8220;A
+very fine morning, sir!&#8221; Obviously my
+dutiful servant desired me to rise and enjoy
+the full benefit of the beautiful day. Agreeing
+with Harry Lauder, that &#8220;It&#8217;s nice
+to get up in the morning, but it&#8217;s nicer to
+stay in bed!&#8221; I am sorry to say I cunningly
+dismissed the orderly with a few false assurances,
+turned over on my side and promptly
+forgot all about such trivial matters. Conscience
+was kicking very feebly, and just as
+sleep was about to return, the air commenced
+to vibrate and something swept overhead
+with a whirling roar&mdash;an &#8220;early bird&#8221;
+testing the air. Galvanised into action by
+this knowledge, I sprang out of bed, and
+seizing whatever garments happened to be the
+nearest, was half dressed before I had even
+time to yawn! Then snatching up my map,
+coat, hat, and goggles, I burst from the hut
+and began slithering along the duck-boards
+towards the hangars, at the same time endeavouring<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_3" id="Page_3">[3]</a></span>
+to fasten the unwilling hooks of
+my Flying Corps tunic and devoutly hoping
+that I should not be late for the bomb raid.
+For weeks we had been standing by for this
+raid in particular, the object of which was to
+bomb Douai aerodrome. This was a particularly
+warm spot to fly over, for in these
+days it was regarded as the home of
+&#8220;Archies&#8221; and the latest hostile aircraft.
+It is, therefore, not surprising that the
+general feeling of the squadron was that the
+sooner it was over the better for all concerned.
+Arrived at the sheds I was relieved to find
+that I was in good time, at all events. The
+machines (two-seater artillery machines, then
+commonly known as &#8220;Quirks&#8221;) were lined
+up on the aerodrome with bomb racks loaded,
+their noses to the wind, awaiting the signal
+to ascend. I saluted the C.O., waved to a
+friend or two and climbed into the pilot&#8217;s
+seat of my waiting machine. Then, adjusting
+the levers, I signified to the waiting mechanics
+that I was ready for them to &#8220;suck in&#8221;
+(an operation necessary prior to the starting
+of the engine). Having made sure that
+everything was O.K. and waited for the
+others to ascend, I took off and, after climbing
+steadily for some time, took up my specified
+position in the formation. For some time
+we circled about over a pre-arranged rendezvous,
+until joined by an escort of fighting<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_4" id="Page_4">[4]</a></span>
+machines and another squadron of bombers,
+and then settled down to business. Flying
+straight into the sun we soon arrived at and
+passed over the irregular spidery lines of
+trenches (those on Vimy Ridge showing up
+particularly clearly), and continued forging
+ahead, past many familiar landmarks, always
+in the direction of Douai. I for one never
+dreamt of being taken prisoner and had
+every intention of making a record breakfast
+on my return. My engine was going rather
+badly, but the odds were that it would see
+me through. Only too soon the anti-aircraft
+started their harassing fire, throwing up a
+startling number of nerve-racking, high
+explosive shells, each one a curling black
+sausage of hate and steel splinters. When we
+were some way over my machine lagged
+behind the rest. The engine spluttered intermittently
+and could not be induced to go at
+all well. As my machine became more
+isolated I cast anxious glances about and was
+soon rewarded by seeing two wicked little
+enemy scouts waiting for an easy prey (at
+that time they did not usually attack a
+formation, but waited behind for the likes
+o&#8217; me). While one scout attracted my
+attention on the left and I was engaged in
+keeping him off by firing occasional bursts,
+a machine gun opened fire with a deafening
+clatter at point-blank range from behind.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_5" id="Page_5">[5]</a></span>
+In an instant the surrounding air became full
+of innumerable tiny, brilliant flames, passing
+me at an incredible speed like minute streaks
+of lightning, each one giving forth a curious
+staccato whistling crack as it plunged through
+or beside the tormented machine, leaving in
+its wake a thin curling line of blue smoke.
+I was in the middle of a relentless storm of
+burning tracer bullets, vying one with the
+other for the honour of passing through the
+petrol tank, thereby converting my machine
+into a seething furnace. Having no observer
+to defend my tail I turned steeply to meet my
+new adversary. However, before completing
+the man&#339;uvre I received another deadly burst
+of fire, which, though it somehow missed
+me, shot away several of my control wires.
+What happened next I cannot be sure, but
+the machine seemed to turn over, and my
+machine gun fell off with a crash. This took
+place at an altitude of six thousand feet.
+My next impression was that I seemed to be
+in the centre of a whirling vortex, around
+which all creation revolved at an extraordinary
+speed, and realised that my trusty
+steed was indulging in a particularly violent
+&#8220;spinning nose dive.&#8221; A &#8220;spin&#8221; at the
+best of times rather takes one&#8217;s breath away,
+so, shutting the throttle, I endeavoured to
+come out of it in the usual way. To my
+surprise, the engine refused to slow down,<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_6" id="Page_6">[6]</a></span>
+or any of the controls to respond, except one,
+which only tended to make matters worse.</p>
+
+<p>The one thing left to be done was to
+&#8220;switch off&#8221; and trust to luck. This, however,
+was more easily decided on than accomplished,
+for by this time the machine was
+plunging to earth so rapidly, with the engine
+full on, that I felt as if I were tied to a peg-top,
+which was being hurled downwards with
+irresistible force. Fighting blindly against
+the tremendous air-pressure, which rendered
+me hardly able to move, I forced my left
+arm, inch by inch, along the edge of the
+&#8220;cockpit&#8221; until I succeeded in turning the
+switch lever downwards. A glance at the
+speedometer did not reassure me, the poor
+thing seemed very much overworked.
+Descending very rapidly I kept getting a
+glimpse of a pretty red-roofed village, which
+became ominously more distinct at every
+plunging revolution.</p>
+
+<p>I vaguely thought there would be rather
+a splash when we arrived at our destination,
+but at eight hundred feet Providence came
+to the rescue. I heard the welcome cessation
+of the wild screaming hum of the strained
+wires. After switching on, the engine
+informed me with much spluttering that it
+was sorry that I should have to land on the
+wrong side, but it really had done its best.
+I had just managed to turn towards our<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_7" id="Page_7">[7]</a></span>
+trenches, when the scout pilot, seeing I did
+not land, at once followed me down and with
+its machine gun impressed on me that the
+sooner I landed the better. As I was then a
+long way over the lines, sinking fast towards
+the tree-tops, I had no alternative, so endeavoured
+to reach the village green. By
+this time the machine was literally riddled
+with bullets, though, luckily, I had not been
+touched. Before landing I overtook a
+German horseman, so thinking to introduce
+myself I dived on him from a low altitude,
+just passing over his head. Well, scare him I
+certainly did, poor man; he was much too
+frightened to get off, and seemed to be doing
+his best to get inside his would-be Trojan
+animal. The machine landed on a heap of
+picks and shovels, ran among a number of
+Huns who were having a morning wash at
+some troughs (or rather I should say, a lick
+and a promise!). They scattered and then
+closed in on the machine. I ran one wing
+into a post, and tried the lighter, which did
+not work. I was a prisoner. Undoubtedly,
+the next German communique announced
+that the gallant Lieutenant X. had brought
+down his thirtieth machine; it is probable
+that this gallant officer had heard strange
+rumours of what lay behind the British lines,
+but preferred cruising on the safer side. I
+could hardly believe that these grey-clad,<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_8" id="Page_8">[8]</a></span>
+rather unshaven men who jabbered excitedly
+were genuine &#8220;Huns.&#8221; I was furious and
+very &#8220;fed-up,&#8221; but that did not help, so
+turning in my seat and raising my hand I
+said, &#8220;<i>Gutten Morgen</i>.&#8221; This surprised them
+so much that they forgot to be rude and
+mostly returned the compliment.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_9" id="Page_9">[9]</a></span></p>
+
+
+
+<h2><a name="CHAPTER_II" id="CHAPTER_II"></a>CHAPTER II</h2>
+
+<h4>CAMBRAI</h4>
+
+
+<p><span class="smcap"><big>T</big>he</span> immediate treatment I received was
+rather better than I had expected. Several
+officers came forward, and one, who held a
+revolver, told me in broken English to get
+out. So leaving my poor old machine, we
+proceeded to the village headquarters.</p>
+
+<p>Photographers appeared from nowhere
+and I was twice &#8220;snapped&#8221; on the way,
+though I&#8217;m afraid I did not act up to the
+usual request, &#8220;look pleasant.&#8221; On arriving
+at a small house I was received by a German
+general, who looked rather like an Xmas
+tree, the Iron Crosses were so numerous.
+As I stood to attention he politely inquired if
+I spoke German, even condescending to smile
+faintly when I replied, &#8220;Ja, un peu!&#8221; At
+first when I answered a few preliminary
+questions he was politeness itself. He then
+asked for my squadron number, to which I
+could only reply that I was sorry but could
+not answer him, whereupon he pointed out
+that it was of no military value whatever,<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_10" id="Page_10">[10]</a></span>
+and that it was only to assist in my identification
+in the report of my capture which
+would go to England. So thoughtful of him;
+such a plausible excuse! Of course I remained
+silent, whereupon &#8220;<i>la politesse</i>&#8221;
+vanished and an angry Hun took its place.
+He screamed, threatened, and waved his
+arms about, but as I did not seem very
+impressed at the display, he rushed out of
+the room, slamming the door and not returning.
+Oh, for a &#8220;movie&#8221; camera! A Flying
+Corps officer then took me in a car to an
+aerodrome, and told me I should have lunch
+with the officers at the chateau, where they
+were quartered. Here I met about nine
+German airmen, who greeted me in a typically
+foreign manner. They seemed quite a
+nice lot on the whole, though I did not know
+them long enough to really form an opinion.
+Soon a good German gramophone was
+playing and lunch began. The food was
+rather poor, but champagne plentiful. During
+the meal the gramophone, which was nearest
+to me, finished a record, so getting up I
+changed the needle and started the other
+side. But it wasn&#8217;t the &#8220;Bing Boys&#8221; this
+time! Strange to say, they were quite
+astonished at this performance, thinking,
+perhaps, that I could not change the needle.
+Afterwards, at coffee, a lieutenant asked
+me what we thought of their flying corps, to<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_11" id="Page_11">[11]</a></span>
+which I replied that I thought it was all
+right. He seemed quite prepared for this, and
+hastily said that I must remember that they
+had fewer machines. I think it must have
+occurred to every captured airman how
+splendid it would be to steal an enemy
+aeroplane and fly back, then after a graceful
+landing report to the C.O. that you had
+returned. These flights are not infrequently
+pleasurably accomplished in imagination, but
+such opportunities do not often, if ever,
+present themselves.</p>
+
+<p>Just before leaving the chateau, I excused
+myself and got as far as the back door,
+where I had to explain to some German
+orderlies that I was only trying to find my
+coat. I was taken by car to corps headquarters
+at another chateau, where I saw
+some young officers, elegantly dressed, lounging
+about. After much useless bowing and
+scraping I was again interrogated by an
+objectionable colonel, but they seemed used
+to failure, and soon ceased their efforts. A
+major who assisted spoke English well, and
+made himself quite pleasant till I left. On
+hearing that I was in the Devons he told me
+that on leaving the university his father had
+sent him to live at a small village near
+Barnstaple, where he had remained for
+several years. Doubtless, a hard-working
+man of leisure! He seemed a very able<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_12" id="Page_12">[12]</a></span>
+officer, but decidedly young for a German
+major. On being told that all leather goods
+were confiscated, I was forced to give up my
+Sam Brown belt much against my will. They
+seemed very familiar with the movements of
+our troops, and I noticed that though their
+telephones were rather large and clumsy
+they carried slight sounds very distinctly,
+so much so, that when at the other end of the
+room I could hear practically the whole
+conversation.</p>
+
+<p>Towards evening the major told me to get
+ready to go to Cambrai, and at the same time
+said, that as my leather flying coat was also
+confiscated they had cut off the fur collar,
+which he then handed back. This rather
+annoyed me, so I told him to keep it, which
+incident I regretted afterwards. However, he
+lent me a German coat, which was some
+comfort. On the way to Cambrai we again
+passed near the lines, some British star shells
+being plainly visible. What a difference a few
+kilometres make! The Germans depend on
+their railway transport more than we do.
+Certainly their road transport cannot be
+compared with ours. We passed a few cars
+and motor lorries, the majority giving one the
+impression that they were falling to bits, so
+noisy and shabby were they. I only saw
+two or three motor cyclists the whole time,
+and those I did see rode machines of an<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_13" id="Page_13">[13]</a></span>
+antiquated pattern. We passed a lot of horse
+transport, nearly all the ambulances in the
+district being horse drawn. Most cars, including
+our own, were only capable of emitting
+useless squeaks on emergencies.</p>
+
+<p>Soon we entered Cambrai, an old, picturesque
+French town, and drew up at the
+entrance to the citadel, where a guard allowed
+us to enter. I was then left with a Lieutenant
+Schram, the intelligence officer, who gave
+me coffee and cigars and plied me with
+questions. He was very anxious to discover
+all he could about our tanks, and possessed
+many supposed models, mostly not in the
+least like them. He emphasised the opinion
+that, of course we should not get Bapaume,
+at the same time allowing he thought there
+might be a moving battle in the spring.
+From his conversation I gathered that they
+were very familiar with formation and movements
+of most of our Colonial units. The
+<i>t&ecirc;te-&agrave;-t&ecirc;te</i> at an end, I was taken to my
+quarters, a bare whitewashed room, containing
+one French flying officer, two British
+lieutenants, if I remember rightly, both in
+the D.L.I., having been taken near Bapaume,
+and also a Canadian sergeant-major. It is
+unnecessary to say how pleased I was to see
+them. Some one had acquired a portion of an
+old magazine, which was much sought after,
+it being the only means of passing the time.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_14" id="Page_14">[14]</a></span>
+Our sleeping accommodation consisted of
+two old straw mattresses, one on the floor
+and the other on a shelf above.</p>
+
+<p>Being tired we slept soundly, but in the
+morning we were horrified to find we had not
+been alone, but that quite a varied menagerie
+had shared our couches with us. Why the
+blankets did not run away in the night I
+cannot think. The Huns promised to have
+lots of things done but never did anything,
+in fact, they lie as easily as they breathe,
+even when there is nothing to be gained
+by it.</p>
+
+<p>A comparatively nice N.C.O. was in charge
+of us, called Nelson! We afterwards learnt
+that his father had been English, and that his
+own knowledge of England appeared to be
+confined to an Oxford restaurant. One day
+when our lunch, consisting of black and
+watery soup, was brought up he sympathetically
+remarked that it was a pity we could
+not have chicken and ham. I wonder what
+he would have done had some one enticingly
+rattled a shilling on a plate?</p>
+
+<p>During the day we were allowed to walk
+round the barrack square for about three
+hours with eighty British and a hundred and
+fifty French soldiers, some of whom were
+daily detailed to work in the town. I noticed
+that the Germans were inclined to treat our
+soldiers the worst, frequently shouting<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_15" id="Page_15">[15]</a></span>
+threats at them in their guttural language.
+In the evenings I sometimes managed to get
+downstairs with the men, and in this way was
+able to join in some impromptu sing-songs.
+Sanitary arrangements were very bad and
+disinfectants unknown. We were allowed to
+buy a little extra bread and some turnip jam
+at exorbitant prices, which helped us considerably,
+as breakfast consisted only of
+luke-warm acorn coffee, lunch of a weird
+soup containing sauerkraut or barley, supper
+of soup or tea alternate days. We amused
+ourselves by carving our names on the table,
+or by drawing regimental crests or pictures of
+Hun aeroplanes descending in flames, in
+out of the way corners. On being told that
+toothbrushes were out of stock (I do not
+think they ever were in), I manufactured a
+home-made one on boy scout lines. It
+consisted of a small bundle of twigs and
+splinters tied together (like a young besom),
+and though it did its work well, the morning
+sweep was decidedly painful.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_16" id="Page_16">[16]</a></span></p>
+
+
+
+<h2><a name="CHAPTER_III" id="CHAPTER_III"></a>CHAPTER III</h2>
+
+<h4>ADVENTURE NO. 1</h4>
+
+
+<p><span class="smcap"><big>A</big>fter</span> remaining there a week we were
+told that we should leave the next morning
+for Germany, which we should grow to like
+very much! During our stay, except for a
+few exciting intervals when British machines
+passed over the town, we had plenty of time
+for meditation, and usually when darkness
+fell could see by the gun flashes that the
+evening strafe was in progress. This always
+reminded me of an argument which had once
+taken place in our squadron mess, late one
+evening before turning in, during which I had
+expressed the opinion that should any one
+with infantry experience be forced to land
+the wrong side just before dark, provided
+he could avoid Huns, it might be just possible
+for him to return the next night through the
+trenches. Now I felt it was up to me to
+prove it should such an opportunity present
+itself.</p>
+
+<p>Cambrai citadel is both solid and imposing,
+and must have proved itself a formidable<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_17" id="Page_17">[17]</a></span>
+fortress. Crowning a slight eminence, it
+overlooks most of the town. On the three
+sides are ramparts, varying from about
+twenty to sixty feet in height, while on a
+fourth it is now bounded by barbed wire and
+high railings, with only a slight drop on the
+other side. At the main entrance the road
+crosses the old moat and passes under a
+massive archway which adjoins the guardroom.
+All the approaches to the outer walls
+are guarded by quantities of barbed wire and
+numerous sentries.</p>
+
+<p>After a thorough search I at last discovered
+a small round hole in the wall of an outbuilding
+near the roof, through which I
+decided it would be possible to squeeze, in
+the dusk, unobserved by the sentry. The
+new German coat I had received on the way
+had been again in its turn exchanged for an
+old French one. This I took to the men&#8217;s
+quarters and, finally, after hunting the whole
+place, found an old German coat hanging up.
+After bargaining for some time I made my
+fourth exchange, and returned successful.
+Later in the afternoon an English N.C.O.
+told me that he had heard of my search and
+presented me with an old German fatigue
+cap which had been unearthed somewhere by
+his pals.</p>
+
+<p>Now having everything ready I determined
+to try my luck about six o&#8217;clock that<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_18" id="Page_18">[18]</a></span>
+evening before being shut up for the night.
+After learning some new German words
+likely to be of use, such as &#8220;wire entanglements,&#8221;
+&#8220;dug-outs,&#8221; etc., I returned to my
+room and waited. My plan was to follow
+the gun flashes, which in all probability would
+lead me to the Bapaume area, where I
+expected to find some wire or wooden posts,
+which I should carry with me as I approached
+the lines, and endeavour to avoid suspicion
+by mingling with working parties as an
+engineer. If thus far successful I hoped to
+repair the German wire entanglements,
+which in this district were much damaged by
+our shell fire, and eventually slip away and
+get into touch with our patrols.</p>
+
+<p>At a quarter to six a German flying officer
+entered our room and invited me to dinner
+at their Cambrai headquarters, assuring me
+that there would be plenty to eat and drink.
+(I expect after skilfully mixed drinks they
+hoped to loosen my tongue. When a Hun
+lays himself out to be pleasant it is almost
+certain that in some way he expects to benefit
+by it.) If you wish to realise how tempting
+this offer was, live on a watery starvation diet
+for eight days and then be given the opportunity
+of a good meal. However, when I
+excused myself on the plea of being a little
+unwell, &#8220;Mein freund&#8221; was quite non-plussed.
+While he was still trying to extract<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_19" id="Page_19">[19]</a></span>
+information, unsuccessfully, from the others,
+I left the room after pocketing a slice of
+bread.</p>
+
+<p>Once in the outhouse I chose my time and,
+climbing up to the hole in the wall, squeezed
+myself through with difficulty, for it was
+only just large enough. When the sentry&#8217;s
+back was turned I dropped to the ground on
+the other side, about ten feet below, making
+considerable noise. I was now past the line
+of barbed wire, but there still remained the
+ramparts to negotiate. Never having been
+able to see over this point from our quarters
+we had no means of ascertaining the drop to
+the ground below. The corner of the ramparts
+I was making for was under forty yards
+away, but it took me about three-quarters of
+an hour to get there, crawling on crackling
+dry leaves under the shadow of the wall.
+The slightest noise would probably have
+attracted the sentry&#8217;s attention and caused
+him to switch on the electric light, which
+they all carry slung round their necks. Oh!
+what a noise those leaves made! Just before
+I got to the wall I heard rather a commotion
+outside the guardroom, and although expecting
+to get at least a night&#8217;s start before
+my absence was discovered, concluded that
+I had already been missed. (Afterwards I
+found that this was indeed the case, as the
+German flying officer on leaving had told the<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_20" id="Page_20">[20]</a></span>
+commandant that I was unwell; a doctor
+was then sent up, but I could not be found.)
+Getting up, I ran to the wall and looked over.
+In the dusk I faintly distinguished some
+bushes below. The glance was not reassuring,
+but &#8220;the die was cast,&#8221; and over I
+went. I shall always remember that horrible
+sensation of falling. It took longer than I
+expected to reach the ground. Instantaneously
+there flashed through my brain a
+formula I had learnt at school, <i>i.e.</i>, that an
+object falling increases its velocity thirty-two
+feet per second. I now realised for the first
+time how true it was. The drop was somewhere
+between twenty and thirty feet. Just
+near the ground my fall was broken by my
+being suspended for the fraction of a second
+on some field telephone wires, which broke
+and deposited me in the centre of a laurel
+bush, which split in half with a crash. It is
+not so much the fall but the sudden stop
+which does the damage. My breath being
+knocked out of me and seeing several
+floating stars of great brilliance, I vaguely
+wondered if I were dead, but I was considerably
+relieved to find that this was not the
+case. No bones broken, only some bruises.
+As I was getting to my feet I heard some one
+coming down a gravel path which passed
+beside me. Crouching down, I saw it was a
+civilian, who proceeded to light a cigar and<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_21" id="Page_21">[21]</a></span>
+passed on. I followed suit by lighting my
+one and only cigarette, and after cutting a
+stick, entered a darkened street, externally a
+perfectly good Hun.</p>
+
+<p>But even German soldiers are subject to
+restrictions and I might be asked questions.
+Consequently, my one idea was to get out of
+the town as quickly as possible. I met
+two French women, to whom I explained my
+position, and asked the nearest way into the
+country. They were frightened and unwilling
+to talk at first, but when I opened my coat
+and showed them the British uniform underneath,
+they pointed to a road which I followed.
+Soon the town was left behind and I was
+making for the gun-flashes and crossing a
+turnip field. Swinging along at a good pace
+the turnip-tops whipped my boots and made
+quite a noise. Suddenly a challenge rang
+out from a small railway bridge. &#8220;<i>Halt!
+Wer da!</i>&#8221; (On these occasions it seems as
+if one&#8217;s heart has been put to the wrong use,
+it being really fashioned to be a pendulum
+for a grandfather clock.) The next second
+an electric light was switched on, but I had
+already fallen among the turnips, endeavouring
+to make a noise like one (a turnip).
+Then ensued an interesting silence fraught
+with many possibilities. Did the turnip&#8217;s
+voice deceive the Hun? At any rate the
+light was soon turned off, much to my relief;<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_22" id="Page_22">[22]</a></span>
+then quietly I slipped away. After about an
+hour&#8217;s walking across country I came to
+what I supposed to be a stream, showing up
+in the moonlight, with a few bushes growing
+along the side. Walking parallel to it for a
+few yards and not seeing a bridge, I thought
+it might be quite shallow, so tested it with a
+stick. Imagine my pleasant surprise when I
+found that it was not water at all, but a
+narrow white concrete path, evidently newly
+made. I noticed that nearly all roads
+running parallel to the front had a very deep
+trench dug on the east (German) side. Presumably,
+these were later used considerably when
+we were engaged in shelling the roads. Soon
+I came to the Cambrai Canal, which had to
+be crossed, and as it was the middle of
+November it gave me the shivers even to
+look at the dark water. After walking some
+distance down the tow-path, I encountered
+a Hun. Though not feeling at all bold I
+said, &#8220;<i>G&#8217;nacht</i>,&#8221; which I felt sounded
+feeble, though I knew it to be the correct
+thing in some parts of Germany. To this he
+replied, &#8220;<i>Abend</i>&#8221; (evening). (Quite a valuable
+lesson in the usual custom among
+soldiers.)</p>
+
+<p>Skirting a few houses and a timber yard
+I approached a large well-built iron railway
+bridge spanning the canal. Climbing over
+some barbed wire I cautiously mounted the<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_23" id="Page_23">[23]</a></span>
+embankment. Looking along the bridge I
+saw there were two lines separated by some
+arched iron girders. From recent experience
+I knew that this must be strongly guarded,
+but reasoned that if I closely followed a
+train I should in all probability find the line
+free for a few seconds. Presently a freight
+train came rumbling along, and I rushed after
+it in a whirl of air, in my haste almost being
+knocked down by the end carriages. As the
+bridge was rather long and the train going
+fast, in a very short time I was being left
+stranded. When I was nearing the other side
+I stopped an instant to listen. It was just
+as well I did. Not more than three yards
+away, on the other side of the ironwork, a
+man spoke in German and was immediately
+answered by another, who turned on his
+light and commenced walking towards the
+end of the bridge I was making for, to return
+to his old beat on my line. There was no
+time to lose, so rushing back on tip-toe and
+down the embankment I fell over the barbed
+wire at the bottom, which painfully impressed
+on me its disapproval of my conduct.</p>
+
+<p>After following the canal for a few hundred
+yards there seemed no alternative but to
+swim across, so in I went, greatcoat and all.
+It was awfully cold. At first my clothes and
+fleeced-lined flying boots held the air and
+supported me, so that I lay on the surface of<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_24" id="Page_24">[24]</a></span>
+the water as if bathing in the Dead Sea,
+feeling very ridiculous. But only too soon
+everything filled up and I felt like a stone.
+Swimming as silently as possible, I had almost
+reached the opposite bank, feeling very tired,
+when I saw something glisten just in front
+which looked very like a bayonet, and a
+man&#8217;s voice shouted &#8220;<i>Hier</i>.&#8221; Picture the
+situation: a dark but starry November
+night, Hun sentry guarding barges, and a
+poor wretch floundering about in the water,
+then you will not be surprised that my heart
+after jumping into my mouth, worked overtime
+again! The Hun thought I was a dog;
+I must be one without delay if I wished to
+preserve a whole skin, so after a spluttering
+growl I turned back with new energy,
+swimming like a dog and whining softly.
+After again calling to me several times he
+threw a few things in my direction, which
+fortunately went wide. I then swam round
+a barge and with a great effort pulled myself
+out of the water, rewarding the Hun, who
+was now calling a friend, with a final bark.
+I ran across a field with the water pouring
+from me. I did not think one could be so
+cold, an icicle was warm in comparison!
+With numb fingers I wrung some of the water
+out of my clothes, and with chattering teeth
+considered the situation. Here I was, still on
+the wrong side&mdash;the only thing left to try<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_25" id="Page_25">[25]</a></span>
+was a village bridge. Again following the
+tow-path I neared some lights, which proved
+to be a hospital, and found myself in an
+apparently unoccupied station-yard, among
+a number of large heaps. On raising a
+corner of a tarpaulin which covered the
+nearest I recognised the familiar wicker
+crates, which contained something heavy.
+It was an ammunition dump! I soon found
+the name of the station on the deserted platform&mdash;Manni&egrave;rs.</p>
+
+<p>As I was leaving the dump, thinking of a
+possible future, and what a lovely explosion
+one well-directed bomb would make, I heard
+some one coming towards me. At once hopping
+off the road I crouched against one of the
+shell heaps where the darkness was more
+dense, my weight causing the wicker to creak.
+But the seemingly deaf individual passed by
+and I breathed again. Entering the main
+village street at a good pace, whistling a
+German tune, I was accosted by two Huns
+carrying a heavy basket on a stick. One
+inquired of me the way to some headquarters.
+I dared not stop, so turning my head,
+growled out a sullen &#8220;<i>Ich weiss nicht</i>&#8221; (I
+don&#8217;t know). They seemed grieved at my
+bad manners, but were soon left behind.
+Although it was very late a number of troops
+were still singing uproariously in the various
+estaminets which I passed. On turning a<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_26" id="Page_26">[26]</a></span>
+corner I saw the village bridge and on it a
+sentry box. While I stood in the dark shadow
+of a house a small party of Germans, carrying
+saddlery, overtook me. Tacking myself on
+casually behind some of them we all passed
+over the bridge quite happily, and feeling in
+a cheeky mood I wished the sentry &#8220;good
+evening.&#8221;</p>
+
+<p>Once more I was passing swiftly over the
+country, devoutly hoping there would not
+be any more canals. Several hours passed
+uneventfully. Some of the concrete paths
+leading in the right direction afforded
+excellent walking. They were mostly new
+and appeared to be only laid on the mud
+without any foundation. On a small rise
+I came upon a trench system under construction
+(probably the now famous Hindenburg
+line), which I examined. The few dug-outs
+I saw were incomplete, the trenches rather
+wet and shallow and not yet sandbagged.
+After crossing two lines of more or less continuous
+trenches I inspected the wire entanglements,
+wooden posts (charred, so as
+not to show up in aerial photographs) and
+iron corkscrews which were already in position,
+but only a little fine and barbed wire
+as yet, which was quite easy to get through.
+Although the firing had died down it continued
+sufficiently to enable me to keep
+my direction. Just as I was leaving these<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_27" id="Page_27">[27]</a></span>
+trenches behind my progress was arrested by
+a sudden jerk, and I found myself lying face
+downwards full length in the mud. A carefully
+laid wire had tripped its first &#8220;Engl&auml;nder&#8221;!
+I was now plastered with mud
+from head to foot, and getting up in a very
+bad temper determined that at least that
+portion of wire should not interfere with
+another Britisher. After a short struggle I
+succeeded in tearing it up and went on my
+way somewhat appeased.</p>
+
+<p>The front was now quite quiet, and after
+many falls, footsore and tired, I came to a
+large wood (the Bois de Logeost) a little
+before dawn. In this I hoped to find cover
+for the day, but it was full of transport, and
+many dim lights proclaimed the presence of
+huts. I had been walking parallel to it for
+some distance when a British aeroplane
+dropped some bombs too close to be pleasant,
+causing quite a stir in the wood, shortly
+followed by an anti-aircraft gun opening fire
+not far away. I have never felt so small in
+my life, and while tramping on in a dejected
+manner, in imagination I was flying once
+again over the lines, the occupied territory
+lying below me like a map: but in spite of the
+tranquillity of the scene (for in this pleasant
+dream not a gun was in action) I became
+conscious of a disturbing element somewhere,
+something was out of place. To what was it<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_28" id="Page_28">[28]</a></span>
+due? Then all at once I realised that it was
+all connected with an infinitesimal object
+which wandered aimlessly about among the
+German batteries, and yet attracted every
+one&#8217;s attention. Vaguely I wondered what it
+could be? Then the dream slowly faded, and
+as reality took its place I knew that I was that
+atom! When things were quiet again I distinctly
+heard plonk, plonk, plonk, the sound
+made by hand grenades, rising from the
+lower ground in front, this was soon followed
+by the fainter cracking of a machine gun
+and a brilliant Verey light, which I concluded
+was from three to four miles away.
+All at once, just beside me, there was a
+blinding flash, immediately followed by a
+deafening roar and the screaming hiss of a
+shell, the latter lasting several seconds, then
+slowly dying away into the night with a sigh.
+One of the German heavies had fired from a
+neighbouring clump of trees. Had my skin
+been any looser I should certainly have
+jumped out of it. Very soon I heard the
+distant explosion of the bursting shell&mdash;Cr&mdash;ump,
+and then dashed off in the
+opposite direction.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_29" id="Page_29">[29]</a></span></p>
+
+
+
+<h2><a name="CHAPTER_IV" id="CHAPTER_IV"></a>CHAPTER IV</h2>
+
+<h4>RETAKEN</h4>
+
+
+<p><span class="smcap"><big>T</big>he</span> country was very bare and the lines
+so close that there were no hay or straw stacks
+about. The stars were beginning to fade
+from the sky, so hastily retracing my steps
+for about a mile, in search of cover, I almost
+fell over a tiny straw heap in the middle of a
+field. It was close to a village, but as no
+tracks passed anywhere near it I decided that
+this should be my hiding place for the day.
+After eating the remains of the black bread,
+now a sloppy mass in my pocket, I emptied
+the water which still remained in my flying
+boots and placed them in a side of the heap
+to dry, just below the surface. Wrapping my
+slightly drier overcoat round my feet for
+warmth, I wormed my way into the centre,
+and pulled the straw after me. The bottom of
+the heap was wet and contained mice, which
+squeaked when my teeth stopped chattering
+for a few seconds. I tried meowing, but they
+were not taken in for long! Sleep was out of
+the question, and there was nothing else to<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_30" id="Page_30">[30]</a></span>
+do but watch the cold grey fingers of light
+creeping through the wet straw. From my
+knowledge of the front, I gathered that I
+had arrived north of my objective, where
+the Huns were expecting our next attack, and
+the trenches were strongly held. Had I a
+sporting chance or were the odds against me
+too great? If the latter was the case and it
+was impossible, I prayed that I might be
+recaptured before making the attempt the
+next night.</p>
+
+<p>The minutes passed like hours, but at last
+the sun rose, evidently very much against its
+will. About ten o&#8217;clock next morning I
+faintly heard the thud of horse&#8217;s hoofs
+approaching at a canter from the direction of
+the village. At first I thought nothing of it,
+but as these grew rapidly louder and louder,
+my uneasiness increased and I lay perfectly
+still under the straw. The horse came
+straight to my heap, and stopped dead at the
+German word of command, &#8220;R-r-r-r-r&#8221;
+(whoa!). Soon the rider uttered an exclamation
+and, leaning over, drew out a flying boot,
+to my dismay, but as this was wet, muddy and
+old looking he soon threw it down again. In the
+meantime the horse kept sniffing and nibbling
+at the straw which thinly covered my face,
+and I felt inclined to repeat to myself an old
+nursery rhyme: &#8220;Fe, fi, fo, fum, I smell
+the blood of an Englishman!&#8221; As the brute<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_31" id="Page_31">[31]</a></span>
+continued blowing the straw from my face,
+I tried to make him desist by returning the
+compliment by blowing back at him. He
+jumped and threw up his head, but now his
+curiosity being thoroughly aroused returned
+to his explorations with renewed vigour,
+partly uncovering me. I did not move, but
+knew that the game was up when the rider
+drew his breath in sharply. Looking up I
+saw surprise written on every feature of the
+bearded Hun N.C.O. He was a thick-set man
+with a revolver holster at his belt. I had no
+chance of resistance, as the country was quite
+open and my boots were off, so sitting up I
+greeted him with a &#8220;<i>Gutten Morgen</i>.&#8221; He
+saw that I was an English &#8220;<i>Flieger</i>&#8221; (airman),
+but firmly refused to believe that I was
+an officer. He told me I was near Achiet-le-Petit,
+and then motioned me to go with him
+to the village, which I did. (An account of
+the foregoing episode appeared in the German
+papers later.)</p>
+
+<p>We went straight to the village headquarters,
+where there were several officers spotlessly
+dressed in blue or field-grey, against which
+my tramp-like appearance formed a strange
+contrast. They were quite decent, with one
+exception, a sour-looking captain, and were
+rather amused than otherwise, even allowing
+a Frenchwoman to make me some coffee.
+When I remarked on the wonderful way in<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_32" id="Page_32">[32]</a></span>
+which the Germans had traced me from
+Cambrai, they laughed and said my discovery
+was purely accidental, the N.C.O. having
+been detailed to find some straw for the
+transport. I was sent back to Cambrai in a
+wagon with an armed guard of three, exclusive
+of the driver and the mounted N.C.O.
+I was very annoyed on being told that the
+latter would receive the Iron Cross, and tried
+to impress on them that my discovery was
+entirely due to the horse, who deserved a
+bran mash. It was bitterly cold and, on
+passing through every village, I was made to
+remove my coat to show the inhabitants that
+I was a prisoner. I was quite pleased when
+we arrived at our destination.</p>
+
+<p>The commandant received me with a
+growl, and I was taken to the guardroom,
+where the same Hun N.C.O. casually
+informed me that I was to be shot. In an
+unconvincing way I told myself this was
+nonsense. The next move was not at all
+reassuring. I was marched through the back
+door into a tiny courtyard, accompanied by
+the sergeant of the guard and several privates
+armed with rifles! I am glad to say that the
+bluff was soon over, and I was put into a half
+dark stone cell. In a short time I was fished
+out to see Lieutenant Schram, who told me
+that I was the first to escape from there, but
+that I should never get another opportunity.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_33" id="Page_33">[33]</a></span>
+He went on to say that when my disappearance
+had been discovered the previous evening,
+it was thought that I had closely followed the
+flying officer who had asked me to dinner when
+he left through the main gate, until the
+broken wires were found. Men and trained
+dogs had then endeavoured to trace me, but
+that, unfortunately, they had all gone the
+wrong way!</p>
+
+<p>When I was taken back at the end of the
+interview, a sergeant-major and a corporal
+thought they would have some fun at my
+expense. They opened my cell door and then
+led me to a comparatively comfortable room
+close by, and asked me which I preferred.
+However, I upset their calculations by
+entering my original cell and sitting down.
+As the result of an argument which ensued
+I was put into the better room, where I fell
+asleep. This comfort was only short-lived,
+and soon, by order of the commandant, I was
+put into the original cell again. It snowed all
+the next evening, and when the sergeant
+brought me my watery supper, I asked if he
+would stand my boots by the guardroom fire
+that night as the fleece held such a quantity
+of water. He seemed surprised at my request,
+but said that he would ask. He soon returned
+and said that it could not be done.
+It was four days before I felt at all warm, my
+clothes drying on me all the time. I have<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_34" id="Page_34">[34]</a></span>
+since been told that Lieutenant Schram,
+while speaking of me later to other captured
+officers, asserted that he dried all my clothes
+for me. Yet this same gentleman during his
+first interrogation asked me why we English
+called them uncultured!</p>
+
+<p>On the afternoon of the fourth day I was
+ordered to get ready to proceed to Germany,
+as enough prisoners had been captured at the
+Beaumont Hamel show to make up a large
+draft. At the main entrance I found a group
+of about twenty officers, composed of eight
+or ten Zouaves and the remainder British.
+Then off we went to the station in high
+spirits, for it is not often that one gets a
+chance of a tour in Germany, <i>via</i> France and
+Belgium, free of charge!<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_35" id="Page_35">[35]</a></span></p>
+
+
+
+<h2><a name="CHAPTER_V" id="CHAPTER_V"></a>CHAPTER V</h2>
+
+<h4>OSNABR&Uuml;CK</h4>
+
+
+<p><span class="smcap"><big>O</big>ur</span> guards had mostly been selected from
+different regiments, on account of their being
+due for leave in Germany. The officer in
+charge travelled separately. He had recently
+been wounded, and had seen rather more of
+the British than he cared; in consequence he
+was almost human! Not yet being dry and
+now having no overcoat, I felt decidedly cold.
+We arrived late at St. Quentin and settled
+down for a long wait, but our good spirits
+were infectious and, besides, some of our
+number had with them a surplus of turnip
+jam, and we were allowed to sing. This we
+did with a vengeance, and it was indeed curious
+to hear the desolate waiting-room echoing
+the popular strains of: &#8220;Pack up your
+troubles in your old kit bag, and smile, smile,
+smile.&#8221; This impromptu concert delighted
+the French, who joined in as best they could.
+Soon we had quite a little audience of solitary
+Huns, who peeped through the open door
+and listened to the &#8220;Mad English,&#8221; open-mouthed.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_36" id="Page_36">[36]</a></span>
+At last the express steamed in
+from the south-east and in quite an exhausted
+condition we were graciously shown
+in to second-class compartments in a way
+which clearly said &#8220;Second class is much too
+good for you.&#8221;</p>
+
+<p>After a tedious journey, during which we
+received something to eat, we arrived at
+Cologne about eleven o&#8217;clock the next
+morning. The station contained almost
+every variety of Hun. These people represented
+the cowards who in 1914 had flung
+stones at and otherwise insulted those brave
+men of our old regular army, who stopped at
+this station, packed in cattle trucks like
+animals, mostly wounded and dying. Nearly
+two years of war have passed since then,
+bringing with them suffering and a certain
+refining influence which had not altogether
+been without its effect. Now, though most
+of them stared rudely, few showed signs of
+open hostility. Following our officer down
+some steps and winding subways, we were
+approaching a large restaurant, when a
+rather senior Hun officer ran after us, cursing
+us in German for not saluting him when we
+had passed him on the platform! One of the
+British replied, &#8220;<i>Nix verstand</i>&#8221; (<i>No compris</i>).
+Whereupon he went away thoroughly
+disgusted.</p>
+
+<p>One of our party, a major of the 9th<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_37" id="Page_37">[37]</a></span>
+Zouaves, who spoke German very well,
+asked if we might have some refreshments,
+to which the officer acquiesced. We entered
+a large and almost unoccupied room separated
+from the main dining-hall by a glass
+screen, and took up our positions at a table
+by the window. Immediately outside
+towered the famous cathedral, shutting out
+most of the sky, the spires and countless
+pinnacles showing up to great advantage in
+the sunshine. Soon a waiter appeared with
+a menu containing a list of weird dishes, the
+most popular of which was a very thin slice
+of sausage reposing on a very large slice of
+black bread. This cost one mark (but perhaps
+they saw us coming!). Great excitement
+was caused when some one found it was
+possible to obtain goose, but as our very
+limited supply of money was almost exhausted
+this had to be ruled out. The fish
+salad when it arrived was <i>peculiarly</i> nasty.
+It was almost raw and had an overpowering
+flavour of mud! Beer did not seem to be
+allowed, but a tip soon settled that, and we
+all received large glasses of light lager. The
+people in the hall were a funny-looking crowd
+but quite amusing to watch, mostly drinking
+quantities of beer and regarding us with
+sullen curiosity through the glass screen.
+The majority of the men were ugly and
+square-headed, with closely-cropped hair,<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_38" id="Page_38">[38]</a></span>
+reminding one of a group of convicts. Some
+of the girls, however, gave us encouraging
+smiles.</p>
+
+<p>When the bills were being settled up,
+there strode in an angry German major,
+complete with helmet and sword, who
+entered into a violent conversation with our
+unfortunate officer, who stood at the salute
+most of the time. After making a noise like
+a dog fight he departed with a final gesticulation
+in our direction. We did not know
+what the row was about, but suppose that
+the officer in charge had been thus strafed in
+public, either for bringing us there or allowing
+us to have beer. At any rate, we were hurried
+out to await our train on the platform. A
+small circle soon formed round us, largely
+made up of sailors, whom we concluded
+must be on indefinite leave. As our train
+was steaming up a civilian gave vent to his
+feelings by fixing his evil eyes upon us and
+at the same time moving his lips with a
+deadly purpose, cursing us inaudibly. I
+should never have thought a face could
+express such condensed hatred. He must
+have been conversing with his Satanic
+Master. However, as we only smiled sweetly
+in return, he cannot have felt much satisfaction.
+Before getting into our train we spent
+our last few <i>pfennigs</i> buying sweets at an
+automatic slot machine. The acquired<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_39" id="Page_39">[39]</a></span>
+sweets were wrapped in a paper covering,
+on which different notices were printed, the
+majority were to this effect: &#8220;Remember
+the shameful <i>Baralong</i> outrage, in punishment
+for which our airships shall devastate
+the Eastern Counties of England and destroy
+London.&#8221; We showed this to our guards,
+who firmly believed that it would shortly
+come to pass, and could not understand our
+amusement. A few minutes out from
+Cologne, as we went rushing over a long iron
+bridge, we celebrated our crossing the Rhine
+by winding up our watches and singing the
+popular song: &#8220;When we&#8217;ve wound up the
+watch on the Rhine.&#8221;</p>
+
+<p>In the late afternoon the train passed
+through Essen, the blast furnaces casting a
+lurid light on the surrounding country.
+Travelling northwards we ran into snow,
+which, when we alighted was quite deep.
+This was our destination, Osnabr&uuml;ck. At
+first it looked as if we should have to walk
+to the camp, but the German officer was,
+luckily, able to hire two brakes, and away we
+went. Osnabr&uuml;ck is an old town with a
+population of about 60,000. We drove past
+numbers of children and dogs revelling in the
+first winter sports, utterly regardless of
+their country&#8217;s serious condition. On our
+arrival an officer and several N.C.O.&#8217;s took
+all particulars and descriptions. It was only<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_40" id="Page_40">[40]</a></span>
+then that I discovered, to my astonishment,
+that my eyes were blue. Next we found a
+hot shower-bath in store for us, during which
+procedure all our clothes were taken away on
+the excuse that they were to be disinfected.
+We enjoyed the bath very much and were
+longing for a clean change, but were disgusted
+to find that this was not forthcoming,
+and that we had to put on the same torn and
+muddy clothes once more, which the Huns had
+only removed to search. We were then locked
+in a room for ten days and told that we
+were in quarantine, no account being taken
+of the three weeks or a month that some of
+us had already spent in the German lines.
+The whole thing was a farce. We could
+then buy a change of underclothing, and
+daily consumed prodigious quantities of
+Dutch chocolate, also procurable from the
+canteen (which I afterwards bought in
+Holland for one-tenth of the price). Some
+of the British who had been in the camp for
+some time managed to get books and a
+little food in to us. A great deal of our time
+was occupied in making out orders for things
+we wanted from home, edibles taking by far
+the most important part. Every evening
+after supper we always drank the King&#8217;s
+health in tea. Though the quality of the
+beverage was weak, our loyalty had never
+been stronger. When extra dull our home-made<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_41" id="Page_41">[41]</a></span>
+band played some rousing selection;
+my special instrument required much skill,
+and consisted of the dustbin lid and a poker.
+The climax was reached one day when the
+sentry entered with a paper from the canteen,
+announcing that the British claimed to have
+shot down two Zeppelins in flames over
+London.</p>
+
+<p>Eventually the tenth day passed and we
+were free to go in with the others, who at
+once made us welcome. Owing to the
+monotony of camp life it is very difficult to
+write a consecutive account of the daily
+routine, which would be of any interest to
+the reader. I shall therefore only outline
+certain points under various headings, which
+I venture to hope may not prove a source of
+boredom, judging from the numerous questions
+contained in letters of enquiry directed
+to me.</p>
+
+<p><span class="smcap">Accommodation.</span>&mdash;The main three-storey
+building was a converted German artillery
+barracks, with the gravelled courtyards used
+for exercising divided by a disused riding-school.
+The prisoners consisted of about
+seventy-five French, living on the ground
+floor, and eighty-five British, mostly R.F.C.,
+taken at the Somme, living on the second
+floor, and from one hundred and fifty to two
+hundred Russians on the third. The rooms
+each contained from four to ten beds, according<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_42" id="Page_42">[42]</a></span>
+to the size, which we usually stacked two
+deep so that they should take up as little
+space as possible. With the aid of wall
+paper, deck chairs, tablecloths and the like,
+obtainable at the canteen, together with
+pictures from home, some of the rooms
+looked very cosy indeed. Each one contained
+a stove, which at first we were able
+to keep well supplied, as it was possible to
+buy coal in addition to the ration, though
+latterly there was a considerable shortage.
+Mattresses were either spring or made of old
+straw, and sometimes contained little creepy-crawlies.
+My record evening catch numbered
+twenty-five, and this little collection afforded
+some exciting races. By the way, I might
+add that if one puts a match to them they
+go off &#8220;pop.&#8221; The Germans rendered
+slight assistance, but the Keating&#8217;s contained
+in our parcels soon got them under
+way. The sanitary conditions were not good,
+but I must admit to having seen a little
+disinfectant. Part of the time we were
+allowed a common room of our own, but
+latterly had to share one with the Russians.
+Washing was sent to the town weekly. A
+medical orderly was on the premises during
+the day, and a doctor came two or three
+times a week. Before leaving we were
+inoculated against smallpox, typhoid and
+cholera. This was a most obnoxious proceeding<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_43" id="Page_43">[43]</a></span>
+which took place every six or seven
+days, until the doctor had jabbed us all six
+times in the chest with his confounded needle.
+French and Russian orderlies were provided,
+each detailed to look after one or two
+rooms.</p>
+
+<p><span class="smcap">Recreation.</span>&mdash;At first it was possible to
+play football, but that was soon stopped.
+Rackets, boxing and a sort of cricket were
+played in the riding-school; once or twice a
+week we organised a concert or a dance,
+theatrical costumes being hired from the
+town on parole. The Russians had a really
+first-class mandoline and balalaika band,
+with which they played many of their
+waltzes and curiously attractive folk-songs.
+During these concerts a certain Englishman
+solemnly sang some new Russian songs,
+learnt by heart, of which he did not understand
+a word. A young Russian used to
+make up into a delightful girl, who, with a
+partner, danced a cake-walk, accompanied
+by the blare of their new brass band. Mandolines
+were soon in vogue and most rooms
+could boast of several. As we were mostly
+beginners the resulting noise is best left to
+the imagination. Whist drives, bridge tournaments,
+etc., helped to pass the time, and a
+good many of us improved the shining hour
+by learning French, Russian or German in
+exchange for lessons in our own language.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_44" id="Page_44">[44]</a></span></p>
+
+<p>The winter brought with it many snow
+fights, and a successful slide which I started,
+though popular, resulted in many bumps and
+bruises. The bottom of the slide led into
+some barbed wire&mdash;which was decidedly
+dangerous. One fatal day I finished the
+course with three Russians and a fat Australian
+on the top of me, unintentionally
+making a first-class broom; first I passed
+over a sharp stone, and then came to a stop
+on the barbed wire fence. (Some of the marks
+caused by this episode remain with me to
+this day.) We had one or two nice walks
+weekly, on parole, escorted by a German
+officer. One day, during a long walk through
+some pine woods, we had reached the top of a
+hill when we came upon a large slab of rock,
+about four feet thick, resting on two smaller
+ones, with a broad crack right through it
+near the centre. The German officer told us
+a legend about this, which affirms that at
+this spot somewhere about the eighth
+century Emperor Charlemagne met some
+heathen chieftain, who having already heard
+of his feats of strength promised to become a
+Christian should he be able to split this rock.
+The emperor took up a sledge hammer and
+with one tremendous blow broke the rock in
+two. (He must have been <i>some</i> man!)</p>
+
+<p><span class="smcap">Treatment.</span>&mdash;When I first arrived the
+commandant, who was a major, was quite<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_45" id="Page_45">[45]</a></span>
+popular, granting all reasonable requests
+and not bothering us the whole time, consequently
+we did our best to avoid trouble;
+but we were in Hunland, therefore this state
+of affairs could not last long. The commandant
+was soon replaced by a colonel
+with a white beard and a benevolent aspect,
+though in reality he was inclined to be
+vicious and most unreasonable. He was soon
+followed by two junior officers, Lieutenants
+Briggs and Rosenthal. The former was an
+officer of the Reserve, one of the nicest
+Germans I have ever met, and I can almost
+safely say a gentleman. He did all that he
+could to avoid friction and make things run
+smoothly. Rosenthal was a Regular officer
+and a typical Hun, who was sent round the
+various camps to make things generally uncomfortable
+for the inmates, in which
+capacity he was a great success. He made
+promises but very rarely fulfilled any, smiling
+to your face and at the same time arranging
+to have you punished. He crept along the
+passages in thick carpet shoes after lights out,
+spying on our movements, and was twice
+discovered listening at a keyhole to the
+conversation. After having been there a
+month I spent a fortnight in solitary confinement
+for my Cambrai escape, at which I
+cannot complain, and came out on Christmas
+Day. Later on, while at this camp, I carried<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_46" id="Page_46">[46]</a></span>
+out two sentences, each of three days, for
+slight offences.</p>
+
+<p><span class="smcap">Parcels and Money.</span>&mdash;We received parcels
+of food and clothing from six to eight
+weeks after first writing for them. For the
+most part these came regularly, only a few
+being lost. This was a good thing for us, the
+camp authorities often providing for a meal
+only some raw fish and garlic or uneatable
+gherkins and dry black bread! Trunks,
+suit cases, and other heavy articles came by
+the American Express and were longer on
+their way. Parcels of food were opened, and
+the tins taken intact to one&#8217;s individual
+locker, where it could be obtained most
+mornings at a given hour. As required the
+tins were then opened by the Huns and the
+contents placed in jars or dishes, which one
+must provide before it can be taken away.
+Sometimes whole rooms decided to mess
+together, sharing all their parcels, but more
+often two or three friends arranged their own
+little mess.</p>
+
+<p>Letters at first came quickly, but were
+often delayed by the German censors at this
+camp, who, I believe, dealt with almost all
+British communications to prisoners in
+Germany. Money is obtained by signing a
+cheque, which is cashed in a week or two by
+the American Express. Even after America&#8217;s
+entry into the war money could still be<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_47" id="Page_47">[47]</a></span>
+obtained through this company (which is, I
+believe, German owned). German daily
+papers are procurable at most camps, and
+usually contain a more or less intact British
+official communique, which is translated by
+some German scholar and posted up. A map
+of the front is usually kept by the prisoners
+and corrected from time to time. Christmas
+was celebrated by every one and the canteen
+<i>Weisswein</i> soon bought up. The Germans
+put an illuminated Christmas tree in the
+dining-hall, but unfortunately counteracted
+their display of good feeling by decorating the
+large portraits of the Kaiser and Hindenburg,
+who stared down at us from the walls and
+quite spoilt our already nasty food. On New
+Year&#8217;s Night we collected on the stairs, and
+joining hands with a few French and Russians,
+sang &#8220;Auld Lang Syne,&#8221; and scampered
+back to bed before the wily Huns appeared on
+the scene.</p>
+
+<p>One day when drawing our parcels we
+received some little cardboard packets of
+compressed dates as usual, but this time a
+small white strip of paper was pasted on the
+outside of each bearing the words, &#8220;Produce
+of Mesopotamia under British occupation.&#8221;
+This must have been pleasant reading for the
+Huns. At last, one morning we were informed
+that in three days&#8217; time we were to
+proceed to an &#8220;All British&#8221; camp at<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_48" id="Page_48">[48]</a></span>
+Clausthal. Before our departure our Allies
+gave two farewell concerts in our honour,
+which were a great success, for when we left
+they knew that they were losing most of the
+&#8220;life&#8221; of the camp.</p>
+
+<p>Living on our floor with a room to himself
+was a French captain of extremely doubtful
+character; he was a heavily built, bearded
+man of middle age whom nobody liked. I was
+told that in civil life he was a professional
+agitator! Now he confined his energies to
+making trouble between the different nationalities.
+He was always hanging about where
+he wasn&#8217;t wanted, poking his nose into other
+people&#8217;s business, and what was even more
+suspicious, he appeared to be on the best of
+terms with the Germans. He wore a long
+row of medals, which were inclined to change
+from day to day. Some senior French
+officers inquired if he had the right to wear
+them, but he refused to recognise their
+authority. Some Britishers had also been
+caught in a mysterious way just before
+attempting to escape. The last night before
+our departure we thought we would at least
+show him that he was not popular. Over a
+dozen of us burst into his room, armed to the
+teeth, and holding him on to his bed covered
+him from head to foot with treacle, jam,
+coffee grounds, ashes and water, at the same
+time doing him no bodily injury. I expect he<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_49" id="Page_49">[49]</a></span>
+thought his plight more serious than it really
+was, for the whole place echoed with his
+shouts for help. Unfortunately for him the
+French on the floor above, being greatly
+pleased at the proceedings, only turned over
+and went to sleep again. When, after a few
+seconds, we bolted to our rooms he rushed
+down to the orderly&#8217;s quarters, exclaiming,
+&#8220;I am dying&mdash;I am covered with blood!&#8221;
+This sounded terrible, but when a match
+was struck revealing nothing but treacle and
+jam they could scarcely conceal their merriment.
+Later on the Huns arrived and
+succeeded in obtaining most of our names,
+but even they thought the affair quite a
+good joke. The next morning most of the
+French collected quietly near the gate to
+give us a &#8220;send off,&#8221; but the commandant,
+after screaming and being very rude to every
+one had them locked in their rooms. He
+turned his back on us when we left, only
+Lieutenant Briggs having the decency to
+salute.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_50" id="Page_50">[50]</a></span></p>
+
+
+
+<h2><a name="CHAPTER_VI" id="CHAPTER_VI"></a>CHAPTER VI</h2>
+
+<h4>CLAUSTHAL</h4>
+
+
+<p><span class="smcap"><big>I</big>t</span> was just like house moving. The heavy
+luggage was sent in advance, but we preferred
+to carry our dearest belongings.
+Many of us must have resembled fully-equipped
+pedlars or super-caddis-worms
+carrying their houses on their backs, but in
+our case these were not composed of sticks or
+dead leaves, but provisions, gramophones,
+mandolines, pots, kettles, etc., tied together
+with string, the rattle of which appeared to
+amuse some of the civil population. Some
+time after leaving Osnabr&uuml;ck the train
+stopped at an out-of-the-way station near
+Hildesheim, close to a group of men working
+on the line. At once a solitary khaki-clad
+figure detached itself from the rest and came
+towards us at the run. It turned out to be a
+British Tommy bubbling over with pleasure
+at seeing some of his own race to speak to at
+last, after having Russians and Huns for his
+companions for many months. We gave
+him a summary of the latest news and all
+kinds of tinned foods. The other Russian<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_51" id="Page_51">[51]</a></span>
+prisoners soon followed him, looking half
+starved, and clamoured for bread, which
+we had just time to give them when a bad
+tempered Hun drove them back to their
+work.</p>
+
+<p>Towards evening we passed through
+Hameln? (better known to us as &#8220;Hamelin&#8221;),
+but saw no signs of the Pied Piper.
+Now there was a man who was not brought
+into the world for nothing, but used his
+genius to the destruction of small Huns!
+The higher the train climbed into the Hartz
+Mountains the deeper became the snow.
+From the dimly-lighted carriages we could
+sometimes see the dark outline of high
+wooded hills between the snow flurries. A
+little before midnight we stopped with a jerk
+and were told to &#8220;<i>Aus</i>.&#8221; As I followed the
+others into a restaurant winter garden affair,
+five minutes after our arrival, I was delighted
+to hear several small gramophones already
+playing &#8220;Bric-a-brac&#8221; and other selections
+from musical comedies, each insisting that its
+was the only tune worth listening to. Owing
+to the conditions escape was out of the question;
+the Germans did not therefore worry
+much&mdash;in fact, coming up in the train a
+rather nice N.C.O. at last yielded to my
+entreaties and sang a verse of the Hymn
+of Hate, accompanying himself on my
+mandoline.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_52" id="Page_52">[52]</a></span></p>
+
+<p>After standing two hours in a queue at the
+bar I managed to procure some quite good
+wine which made us feel almost at home.
+For the rest of that night it was almost
+possible to imagine oneself free, but snowed
+up. The next morning, on hearing that the
+camp was about two miles away, we inquired
+if some of the larger suit cases might be left
+behind as the walking was so heavy, to be
+brought up later, at an extra charge, by the
+station sleigh, which came up to the camp
+every day. But we might have known that
+it would only be a waste of breath asking the
+Huns to help us in any way. (Later, when
+some very senior British officers arrived,
+bound for this camp, they received identically
+the same treatment.) After an uphill
+struggle we reached the camp, and were kept
+standing quite unnecessarily for three-quarters
+of an hour in a snowstorm before
+being admitted to the dining-hall. On
+entering I was lucky enough to run straight
+into an Australian flight commander, who
+had often taken me up in my observing days
+at my first squadron, then at a village behind
+Ypres.</p>
+
+<p>The camp is well situated, being almost
+surrounded by pine forests, which cover most
+of the Hartz Mountains. If the day is at all
+clear a high and rather rounded hill is visible
+to the eastward, conspicuous for its bleakness,<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_53" id="Page_53">[53]</a></span>
+standing well above the dark intervening
+fir-clad hills. This is the Brocken, the
+highest mountain in Northern Germany, on
+the summit of which Goethe&#8217;s Faust was
+evolved. It is difficult to realise that it is,
+roughly, 5,000 feet above sea level, or
+the camp 2,000. The ascent in this part
+from the foot hills being gradual, the surrounding
+country is not so imposing as
+one would expect. Outside the camp is a
+small picturesque lake, which was frozen
+over most of the time. On a clear evening it
+was fascinating to watch the superb soaring
+of the buzzards. It seemed as if their
+telescopic eyes could make out the wings on
+some of our tunics, for with a jeering cry
+they would commence gliding in a vast sweeping
+circle with scarcely a movement of
+their wings, every feather under perfect control,
+until at length they disappeared into
+the endless blue. We still have a lot to learn,
+but talk of the &#8220;homing instinct,&#8221; if only a
+few aeroplanes had been handy I know which
+would have made the quickest non-stop
+flight to &#8220;Blighty.&#8221;</p>
+
+<p>The next day a number of Belgian officers
+left to take up their abode in the quarters
+vacated by us in Osnabr&uuml;ck, many of them
+resplendent in their tasselled caps, and a few
+wearing clanking swords which they had
+been allowed to retain in recognition of the<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_54" id="Page_54">[54]</a></span>
+gallant way they had defended some of the
+Li&egrave;ge and Antwerp forts. With them went
+two Belgian officers, who, curiously enough,
+could not speak their lingo. This was not
+surprising, however, as their real names were
+Captain Nicholl, R.F.C., and Lieutenant
+Reid, R.N. It appeared they intended to
+jump the train before reaching their destination
+and have a try for the Dutch border.
+German trains often go slowly and stop, but
+as luck would have it this one, as we afterwards
+heard, refused to do anything of the
+sort. Whether Captain Nicholl succeeded in
+getting off I do not know, but Lieutenant
+Reid, seeing discovery imminent, jumped
+through the carriage window and broke his
+ankles. They were both taken to Osnabr&uuml;ck
+and Nicholl was sent back under arrest.
+After three weeks Lieutenant Reid returned,
+lame, but quite cheery. As he was under
+arrest, however, we could not learn much of
+their treatment, though it was common
+knowledge that he had left hospital <i>very</i>
+soon, and was made to walk up from the
+station as best he could. His sentence was
+lengthened by some days on the charge of
+answering his wrong name at a roll call on
+arrival at Osnabr&uuml;ck, but as he was quite
+unable to stand this was obviously a fabrication.</p>
+
+<p>When we had been there about ten days a<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_55" id="Page_55">[55]</a></span>
+lot more British officers arrived from Friedburg,
+where they had received quite good
+treatment. Many of the prisoners at this
+camp had been taken at Mons, La Cateau
+and Ypres, and were consequently a little out
+of date. They could hardly realise what a
+&#8220;Somme barrage&#8221; was like, and were
+therefore known as the &#8220;Bow and Arrow&#8221;
+men! On the journey to Clausthal two of
+them managed to jump from the train and
+got clear away. About this time five Italian
+officers were warned to leave the next day.
+The preceding night, after supper, Colonel
+Bond (K.O.Y.L.I.), after a short speech,
+proposed the toast &#8220;<i>Viva Italia</i>,&#8221; which we
+drank in canteen <i>Weisswein</i>, or imitation
+port, to which a senior Italian officer enthusiastically
+replied with a &#8220;<i>Viva Inghilterra</i>.&#8221;
+After their departure the camp
+contained British only, the remaining
+number of officers being a little over three
+hundred.</p>
+
+<p><span class="smcap">Accommodation.</span>&mdash;The principal building,
+in which about half of us lived, was a
+<i>Kurhaus</i>, or small hydro, in peace time,
+with a large dining-hall at one end. The
+smallest bedrooms were occupied by one or
+two senior officers, while the remainder held
+about half a dozen. A shower-bath was on
+the premises. The rest of us were quartered
+in three temporary wooden barracks, where<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_56" id="Page_56">[56]</a></span>
+most of the rooms were rather over-crowded,
+holding from six to eight fellows.</p>
+
+<p><span class="smcap">Recreation.</span>&mdash;At a portion of the grounds
+was a fairly steep incline and on this we made
+a short toboggan run, banking the snow up
+steeply at the turn to avoid going through
+the barbed wire. In many instances it must
+have been amusing to watch a small sleigh
+being steered by a novice, with fat individuals
+sitting on the top of him, trying to
+avoid the young trees, usually without any
+success. Unfortunately for me I had a nasty
+knack of always being in the worst crashes.
+It is impossible to find a more effective way
+of destroying boots than continually steering
+with one&#8217;s feet. Other people displayed their
+extensive knowledge of winter sports by
+ski-ing, or rather lying on their backs, unintentionally
+waving their skis in the air. This
+soon had to be abandoned, however, as the
+weather soon became uncertain, often changing
+from a hard frost to a violent thaw every
+two or three days.</p>
+
+<p>A naval officer in my barrack received a
+miniature billiard-table, which became immensely
+popular. Cards, roulette, ping-pong
+and chess greatly assisted in passing the time.
+We also had quite a good camp library, the
+books mostly having been received from
+home. I often heard it remarked that life
+there was one long queue, and it was not far<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_57" id="Page_57">[57]</a></span>
+wrong. Often one passed the morning
+waiting one&#8217;s turn for the &#8220;tin room,&#8221; or
+newly arrived parcels, while soon after lunch
+it was customary to see the more patient
+individuals already lining up chairs and
+settling down to their books, to wait for hot
+water which was sold at tea time. All this
+may sound most enjoyable, but I will
+now endeavour to explain a little of the
+wonderful system then in vogue at this
+camp, the only object of which seemed to
+be to remind you in an objectionable manner
+that you were a prisoner on every possible
+occasion.</p>
+
+<p><span class="smcap">Treatment.</span>&mdash;When we first arrived the
+commandant was not so bad, but after
+several visits from corps headquarters at
+Hanover, he resigned his post, it is said, on
+the grounds that he could not treat British
+officers like common criminals, as he was
+supposed to. I think this is highly probable,
+though I cannot vouch for the truth of the
+assertion, it being only hearsay. He was
+replaced by a fat and rather harmless dug-out
+captain, who proved to be only a pompous
+figurehead. The camp was entirely run by
+the second in command, Lieutenant Wolfe.
+In England persons of this type are so rarely
+met with that our language does not contain
+the necessary words to describe them adequately.
+In Germany they are comparatively<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_58" id="Page_58">[58]</a></span>
+common, therefore, collectively they
+may be put down as belonging to the &#8220;super-swine
+class&#8221;! Wolfe was arrogance personified.
+He possessed a closely-cropped
+bullet head, and a round, somewhat bloated
+pale face, near the centre of which gleamed
+two small, cold, calculating blue eyes; the
+whole effect so strongly resembled a white
+pig that among ourselves he was usually
+known as &#8220;pig face.&#8221; He belonged to a
+reserve Hanoverian regiment, and was a
+schoolmaster by profession. It is small
+wonder that children under such authority
+never learn to know the true meaning of the
+word &#8220;kultur.&#8221; Somehow he knew about
+the treacling affair at our last camp, for after
+getting our names from Osnabr&uuml;ck, he
+strained every nerve to get us court-martialled
+and punished. Two or three times a
+week we criminals had to assemble outside his
+room at an appointed hour. After a long
+wait &#8220;My Lord&#8221; strolled in, usually an
+hour late, walking very slowly, chewing a
+cigar. At first he only produced a small
+packet of papers, on most of which our
+individual statements were written, and asked
+absurd questions through an interpreter.
+But as time went on the case assumed larger
+proportions, and the bundle of nonsense
+increased to an enormous size. At almost
+every visit we had to sign some new document<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_59" id="Page_59">[59]</a></span>
+certifying that we understood the
+latest communication on the subject from
+headquarters. After much hard work &#8220;pig
+face&#8221; achieved his object, and we were
+warned to attend a court-martial at Hanover.
+However, this is worthy of a separate
+chapter.</p>
+
+<p>One day an impossible staff captain arrived
+from Hanover to inspect the camp. He was
+a large, arrogant bully, who brought with
+him two detectives for the purpose of searching
+our rooms and kit for forbidden articles.
+We will not waste time discussing his manners;
+he had none. The detectives seemed
+quite decent, and therefore cannot have been
+properly dehumanised by the powers that be.
+In German camps it is forbidden to sit or lie
+on one&#8217;s bed during the day, unless one has
+reported sick at roll call. This captain
+suddenly entered a room in our barrack and
+surprised a Scotsman lying on his bed reading
+a book. Seeing that the culprit had his
+clothes on, he screamed out such a stream of
+unintelligible curses and threats, that had a
+similar noise taken place at the Zoo, I am
+sure the keepers would have rushed out
+to stop the monkey fight. The Scotsman
+waited until this torrent had somewhat
+abated, then slowly getting to his feet, he
+drawled out in a bewildered way, &#8220;And
+how&#8217;s your faither!&#8221; It is doubtful whether<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_60" id="Page_60">[60]</a></span>
+the startled captain understood this kind
+inquiry or not, but he rushed out of the room
+and, grabbing a sentry&#8217;s bayonet, returned
+and stuck it in the boards at his feet. Ours
+was the next room he favoured. Without the
+semblance of a knock he burst in, and as
+nothing of importance had been found
+during the search, swaggered up and down
+in a most offensive manner with his nose in
+the air. In a few seconds he came to a stop
+beside me and shouted that he wished me to
+stand to attention, half dressed as I was
+(having just been searched). This was just
+about the limit, so pretending not to understand
+what he meant I turned round and
+busied myself with my clothing, at the same
+time humming softly to myself the air of
+&#8220;Pack up your troubles,&#8221; to relieve my
+feelings and stifle a desire to give him one
+under the jaw. On a word of command
+two scared sentries appeared, having been
+ordered to take me to the guardroom immediately.
+The usually harmless commandant
+was so frightened that he rolled his eyes
+and screamed after me, when exhaustion
+put an end to the captain&#8217;s song. It was
+pitiable to see two such men possessing not
+an atom of self-control between them, but
+it was not so amusing as one might think.
+It certainly looked as if I should be murdered
+without delay. I was put into a room<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_61" id="Page_61">[61]</a></span>
+adjoining that occupied by the main guard,
+where I remained for three hours. During
+this period I got into conversation with some
+of the soldiers and was surprised at the bitter
+way they spoke of Lieutenant Wolfe, so
+much so that if he returned to the front
+I should be inclined to think that the quarter
+where his greatest danger lay was not in
+front but behind.</p>
+
+<p>When I had the room to myself I spent the
+time exploring for useful articles. My oft-interrupted
+search resulted in the discovery
+of a heap of things in the far corner. At
+length an officer arrived and informed me
+that I should only receive three days&#8217;
+&#8220;<i>stuben</i>&#8221;&mdash;arrest (solitary confinement).
+After which I was released. On re-entering
+the camp I did my best to look innocent,
+though, as luck would have it, I was really
+the richer by a couple of maps, a compass
+and some candles! One of the orderlies in
+the camp was a cobbler, but though the Huns
+frequently assured us they would provide
+him with the necessary tools, it took two
+months for their promise to materialise.
+During this period my already patched boots
+threatened to give out altogether. I wrote
+a note to the commandant, explaining that I
+was daily expecting boots from England, but
+as these appeared to have been delayed,
+asked that I might be allowed to order some<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_62" id="Page_62">[62]</a></span>
+canvas shoes at the canteen in the meantime.
+The next day the interpreter handed
+me the answer: &#8220;Order leather from
+England, and have the boots resoled.&#8221; I
+could not help smiling, and casually remarked
+that it was worse than useless. Whereupon
+he snapped, &#8220;What, you say that the commandant&#8217;s
+note is useless? All right, I will
+you report.&#8221;</p>
+
+<p>In due course the usual notice was posted
+up to the effect &#8220;That the English Ober-Lieutenant
+Gerald Knight would for gross
+insolence the next three days in arrest
+spend.&#8221; Usually, roll call took place outside
+the main building, and as it generally meant
+standing in water or melting snow, was not
+particularly pleasant. Wolfe very often
+managed to take these parades, and did not
+miss this excellent opportunity for showing
+his authority. After arriving late he would
+stroll up and down the line, hands in pockets,
+looking as dignified as possible, always wasting
+time. &#8220;<i>Appel</i>,&#8221; when properly conducted,
+never lasted more than ten minutes or a
+quarter of an hour. On one occasion, Wolfe,
+who was well protected against the cold,
+kept us standing in a blizzard for an hour
+and a half, during which time he counted us
+five or six times, obviously for his own
+amusement. It was bad enough to have to
+stand there oneself, but it was much more<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_63" id="Page_63">[63]</a></span>
+annoying to watch our senior officers,
+majors, colonels, and a major-general,
+awaiting the pleasure of a conceited German
+lieutenant. Almost every day some new
+order was issued, for the most part affecting
+little things, for example&mdash;stating that in
+future no food would be allowed in the rooms.
+A few days later it was not allowed in the
+cupboards standing in the passages. Soon
+it was only allowed in the dining-hall, where
+the accommodation was quite inadequate.
+One day two fellows were quietly walking
+down a path near the wire, when a sentry
+raised his rifle and threatened to shoot them
+if they did not at once go further from the
+wire! They refused to move, and told the
+sentry that they had a perfect right there.
+Whereupon the man at last lowered his rifle.
+On a complaint being made, Lieutenant
+Wolfe, knowing that few people were about,
+ingeniously squashed the case by refusing to
+take the matter up unless six witnesses were
+produced. There was a second lieutenant,
+junior to Wolfe (commonly known as the
+Worm!), who arrived after receiving promotion
+from the ranks. He was rather a miserable
+sort of person, inclined to follow Wolfe&#8217;s
+example in most things. He was for ever on
+the prowl and it never occurred to him to
+knock before entering a room. Once he
+came into our room and, assisted by two<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_64" id="Page_64">[64]</a></span>
+guards, removed the mirror, shaving tackle,
+hair brushes, etc., from the window, placing
+them on the wash-hand stand in the darkest
+corner of the room. After this performance
+he drew himself up sedately and exclaimed,
+&#8220;That is the way we do things in Germany!&#8221;
+These little incidents are most annoying at
+any time, but especially so when one is
+wearing boots possessing good kicking
+qualities.</p>
+
+<p>It was not until May that the snow finally
+disappeared and we were treated to a spell
+of warm weather, during which every one did
+their best to get sunburnt, and set to work
+on the new tennis court we had permission to
+make.</p>
+
+<p>Lizards and frogs appeared from nowhere
+and endeavoured to inform us that spring was
+approaching. It is curious the way camp
+life again makes one childish and easily
+amused. For instance, it was quite a common
+occurrence to see a small crowd of fellows
+looking excitedly at something. On closer
+investigation it in most cases turned out to
+be a toad or a worm. As it became dry underfoot
+we were able to go out for walks on
+parole with a German officer. The stout
+commandant usually took us, and not only
+did he make himself quite agreeable, but also
+chose some very pretty paths among the
+various pine woods. One afternoon two<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_65" id="Page_65">[65]</a></span>
+fellows succeeded in cutting the outside
+wire in broad daylight and getting into the
+woods unobserved. Seeing his opportunity
+a tall Canadian, named Colquhoun, hastily
+gathered up his valuables and dived through
+the inviting gap in the wire (which had been
+cleverly cut behind some young fir trees
+and up beside a post). He was just disappearing
+into the woods at record speed (the
+sentry&#8217;s back being still turned) when he
+was seen by some children playing on a
+hillock a little way off. They at once made a
+noise, and several of them rushed down to
+tell the sentry. That man, however, was
+much too grand to listen to &#8220;kids&#8221; talking
+nonsense, so drove them off with many
+threats and violent gestures. When the
+escape was discovered, green-uniformed
+soldiers of Jaeger regiments and mounted
+foresters scoured the woods for nearly two
+days without any success. Shortly after a
+notice was posted up stating that when the
+escaped officers were recaptured, they would
+in all probability be tried by court-martial
+for breaking their parole in looking for hiding
+places when out for walks; this, needless to
+say, was all nonsense, the officers in question
+being miles away by that time.</p>
+
+<p>This notice could not be regarded in any
+other light than that of an insult to British
+officers in general, causing much resentment.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_66" id="Page_66">[66]</a></span>
+All future walks were voluntarily given up,
+and at evening &#8220;<i>appel</i>&#8221; all parole cards,
+without exception, were returned to the
+Huns by mutual consent, to avoid any
+insinuations of this sort in the future. After
+being out for about a fortnight the outlaws
+were all recaptured and taken to Str&ouml;hen,
+where I afterwards met them. The first two
+put up a very good show, being recaptured
+in an exhausted condition by a road guard,
+twenty odd kilometres from the frontier,
+much to their disgust. My friend, the
+Canadian, fought a good fight against an
+unkind fate. While washing in a stream one
+night he was taken by a man with a revolver
+looking for an escaped Russian prisoner.
+He was then put into prison at a men&#8217;s camp,
+where he succeeded in obtaining some wire-cutters
+from other Britishers. Forcing his
+way through the skylight into a dark and
+rainy night, he dropped to earth, cut the
+wire and was again free. The drop previous
+to cutting the wire had, however, damaged
+his compass, which stuck and led him south
+instead of west. Three days later he was
+taken near a bridge over a river by men and
+trained dogs, and transferred to a town
+prison. There I believe he received quite
+decent food, for which he was very thankful.
+During the late afternoon some children
+came to annoy him by shouting rude remarks<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_67" id="Page_67">[67]</a></span>
+from the passage. Even these little wretches
+were of some use, for at their departure they
+touched something on the outside of his
+door which jingled, and turned out to be a
+bunch of keys, which he was able to get
+possession of by pulling them through the
+sliding panel used by the guard for spying
+on the prisoner. When it was dark the adventurer
+produced the keys and by dint of
+much labour succeeded in opening his own
+cell and walking out.</p>
+
+<p>At the back of one of the nearer buildings
+he discovered a bicycle, which he appropriated
+without a second thought. Having
+discovered his whereabouts he struck north
+to get into his original line, and was unfortunately
+discovered by some N.C.O.&#8217;s the
+next day in almost a starving condition
+repairing his bicycle in a shed. After such
+an attempt as this it is indeed hard to return
+to serve one&#8217;s sentence at a camp prison or
+fortress, knowing full well that, although
+having done one&#8217;s utmost, even the slightest
+official recognition is out of the question.
+After the second escape the Hun in charge of
+the men&#8217;s camp &#8217;phoned to Clausthal, stating
+that the officer had been recaptured. Wolfe
+hearing the joyous news started out to bring
+back the truant as a lesson to others. &#8220;But
+when he got there the cupboard was bare,&#8221; so
+he returned to the &#8220;Hartz-Gebirge&#8221; empty-handed<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_68" id="Page_68">[68]</a></span>
+and disconsolate. The only really
+decent German at the camp appeared to be
+an &#8220;<i>aspirant</i>,&#8221; or first class warrant officer,
+who treated us quite fairly when opportunity
+offered; however, his superiors saw to it that
+this was not often.</p>
+
+<p><span class="smcap">Parcels.</span>&mdash;These arrived fairly well, but
+were periodically hoarded up by the Huns
+for a week or ten days, where we could not
+get them without any previous warning.
+When drawing food all the tins had to be left
+behind until wanted for immediate consumption.
+It was therefore very difficult to lay
+in a supply against such emergencies.
+During these periods most messes determined,
+if possible, to have a meal of sorts at
+tea-time. Gradually, as the provisions got
+lower and lower, the menu read somewhat
+as follows: Tea (no milk or sugar); very
+limited black bread, thinly spread with soup
+essence, or <i>caf&eacute; au lait</i> (when the dripping,
+lard or potted meat had finally vanished).
+The meal itself was rather nauseating, but
+afterwards it was most gratifying to be able
+to say that you had had tea! When this
+playful little &#8220;strafe&#8221; was removed by an
+order from Hanover the accumulated parcels
+nearly caused the death of the Germans
+working in the distributing room. Letters
+were very slow in arriving. Once a general,
+while inspecting the camp, entered the<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_69" id="Page_69">[69]</a></span>
+parcel room, where he saw an English
+captain assisting with the sorting of the
+parcels. On finding that he spoke German
+well the general advised him to devote his
+spare time to the further study of that
+language, which he said would be very useful
+to him later. The captain was notorious for
+saying exactly what he thought, and be
+hanged to the consequences. His reply must
+have been more than the German bargained
+for: &#8220;Sir, I do not intend to waste my
+time learning a dead language!&#8221; It is
+probable that the general had had previous
+dealings with the British, and therefore
+possessed a sense of humour so rare to the
+Teuton, for he passed on without awarding
+the expected punishment.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_70" id="Page_70">[70]</a></span></p>
+
+
+
+<h2><a name="CHAPTER_VII" id="CHAPTER_VII"></a>CHAPTER VII</h2>
+
+<h4>COURT-MARTIALLED! AND PROUD OF IT, TOO!</h4>
+
+
+<p><span class="smcap"><big>I</big>t</span> is not usual to boast of the fact that one
+has been court-martialled, but I would not
+have missed this experience for anything.
+Early in the morning of May 15th, 1917,
+we twelve gaol-birds, after being carefully
+searched, left for the station escorted by eight
+guards. During the march I began softly humming
+a tune, but was at once silenced by an
+angry sentry, who told me that no noise of
+any sort was allowed. Turning to the N.C.O.
+I remarked that although he appeared to be
+in charge of the party he had not objected
+to my behaviour, and added that this seemed
+almost as if the private was exceeding his
+duty. This appealed to the dignity of his
+position, and although he evidently did not
+like me, he told the sentry off. On reaching
+the station we had an unpleasant surprise,
+for there, awaiting us on the platform, was
+our old friend, Wolfe.</p>
+
+<p>In the early afternoon we got out of the
+train at a small station and were told that<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_71" id="Page_71">[71]</a></span>
+we should have to wait some hours for the
+connection. The senior member of our party
+inquired whether it was possible to get anything
+to eat, as it was already very late for
+the midday meal. Wolfe said he would try
+and led us into the restaurant, where a
+waiter inquired if we would have white or
+green beans. These dishes sounded so
+tempting that we ordered mixed. When the
+result was served (beans stewed with gravy
+and a little potato), it certainly greatly
+exceeded our expectations, being really
+appetising. When this was finished a resourceful
+member of the party produced
+some cards, and poker became the order of
+the day. The game was still in progress
+when one of the others called our attention
+to the Red Cross collecting box on the table.
+In trying to decipher the appeal for subscriptions
+for the wounded, he had made a
+great discovery. Actually beside the red
+cross in a small circle made by a rubber
+stamp were the words, &#8220;<i>Gott strafe
+England</i>!&#8221;</p>
+
+<p>Naturally, this display of childishness
+amused us greatly, creating a general laugh.
+This frivolity in the face of a court-martial
+was more than Wolfe could stand, so after
+one withering glance in our direction he
+turned his back on us and stalked majestically
+from the room. Luckily I had in my<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_72" id="Page_72">[72]</a></span>
+possession a good supply of tin canteen
+money (which was valueless outside the
+camp); this was at once transferred to the
+box as quickly as possible. It isn&#8217;t often
+that an Englishman has the pleasure of
+subscribing to his own special hate box!
+I am simply longing to know if the money
+was eventually returned to the camp for its
+equivalent value. Should this book in the
+near future be read in Germany, as I expect
+it will, would some kind Hun take the
+trouble to satisfy my curiosity? &#8220;Royal Air
+Force, England,&#8221; will always find me.</p>
+
+<p>About six o&#8217;clock that evening we reached
+Hanover and were marched off through some
+of the main streets to an unknown destination.
+The town is all right; it is the people
+that spoil it. Proceeding down some broad
+streets we passed some very fine buildings,
+statues and fountains. Once a well-dressed
+woman unintentionally crossed our path,
+with the result that a sentry roughly threw
+her aside without a word of apology. Passing
+through a small park we halted before a low,
+dirty-looking stone building, with every
+window strongly barred.</p>
+
+<p>Presently Lieutenant Wolfe emerged with
+a smile of welcome and bade us enter. In a
+small courtyard a German N.C.O., with a
+loud rasping voice, ordered the prison guard
+to take us to our quarters. After much<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_73" id="Page_73">[73]</a></span>
+jangling of keys we were separated, to our
+amazement, and each one of the party
+locked in a cell by himself. Near the ceiling
+was one small window about two feet square.
+On examination this exit proved to be
+guarded with fine wire netting and thick
+iron bars firmly embedded in cement. As
+usual, there was a special spy-hole in the
+door which had to be covered on the inside.
+Attached to each end of the bed were two
+strong shackles, evidently intended to fasten
+the occupant down if necessary. We afterwards
+learnt that this was the garrison prison,
+it being considerably worse than the civil
+one. It does not seem surprising that they
+are able to maintain their iron discipline, if
+they resort to these methods. I think the
+reader will agree that this is hardly a fit
+place to lodge officers who, as yet, were only
+awaiting their trial. Several times I faintly
+heard the whirring of aeroplanes outside,
+but only managed to see one by pulling
+myself up to the window. We relieved the
+monotony a little by whistling to each other
+in the Morse code what we thought of the
+Huns for putting us there. The thickness of
+the walls, however, soon put a stop to this.
+During the night I was awakened by several
+thuds, followed by a crash, which came from
+somewhere overhead. This puzzled me at the
+time, but the next day I found the noise had<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_74" id="Page_74">[74]</a></span>
+been caused by one of our party rat-hunting
+with the aid of a boot which had landed on
+a tin basin instead of the rat.</p>
+
+<p>The next morning the man with a voice like
+a nutmeg grater released us from our cells,
+and after a few preliminaries we were marched
+off across the square to a large building,
+which we entered about ten o&#8217;clock. Then
+ensued a long but interesting wait, during
+which we watched all sorts and conditions of
+Huns passing up and down the main staircase.
+Amongst them we saw several colonels,
+a general and a very smart monocled major,
+whose helmet was rather the shape of a fireman&#8217;s,
+showing that he was in some crack
+cavalry regiment&mdash;dragoons, I think. They
+mostly wore pale blue-grey overcoats, and
+their buttons, sword-hilts and golden eagles
+on their helmets glittered exquisitely. The
+general appearance was smart enough, but
+everything seemed a trifle overdone, giving
+one the impression that they had just stepped
+out of a bandbox. Had a British officer been
+standing beside these Germans, wearing his
+sword, the contrast would have been a
+strange one, for while looking just as smart
+the uniform would have had the appearance
+of being infinitely more serviceable. There
+passed quite a number of Hun privates with
+downcast eyes, having just received their
+long sentences. An interpreter having<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_75" id="Page_75">[75]</a></span>
+nothing to do, tried hard to prove to us that
+the U-boats would very soon bring England
+to her knees, but gave up the attempt on
+receiving an invitation to the camp to watch
+the daily arrival of the over-laden parcel
+cart.</p>
+
+<p>Eventually we were ushered into the court,
+bareheaded, trying very hard to look meek.
+The opening questions and formalities took
+up a lot of time, and it really was a terrible
+strain trying not to laugh when the interpreter
+solemnly explained to a German
+captain that one of our party belonged to the
+<i>Middlesex</i> Regiment. Before getting to
+business our individual conduct sheets were
+read out, mine being about as black as it
+could be. At our request two French majors
+from Osnabr&uuml;ck were present. Both spoke
+well on our behalf, explaining that this could
+only be a quarrel between the French and
+British in any case, but that they were
+delighted at what had occurred, and most
+certainly did not wish to prosecute. Everything
+went in our favour, and, when the
+treacling was described, even the presiding
+Hun general laughed. The public prosecutor,
+as usual, asked for the maximum punishment,
+600 marks fine or 100 days fortress. Whereupon
+the court rose and left the room,
+looking justice itself. On their return it was
+announced that the junior three of our party,<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_76" id="Page_76">[76]</a></span>
+who had not actually entered the Frenchman&#8217;s
+room, were let off with a caution, and
+that all the rest were each fined five hundred
+marks, or fifty days in a fortress. This
+showed how they wanted our money; of
+course the whole thing had been arranged
+beforehand. On inquiring what the money
+would go to support we were told that it
+would probably be the war loan. A few
+minutes later, after leaving in a rebellious
+mood, we were lucky enough to meet the
+two Frenchmen, from whom we learnt that
+they too had spent the night in cells in the
+same prison. Later on I was given to understand
+that before a subsequent court-martial
+two British officers spent the night on a sort
+of mattress in a corner of the guardroom.</p>
+
+<p>The return journey was accomplished
+without incident, except for an attempt on
+our part to speak to a captured guardsman,
+who was loading trucks, which was promptly
+squashed by Wolfe snapping out &#8220;<i>Das
+geht nicht</i>.&#8221; Nevertheless, a tin or two of
+food found its way out of the window.</p>
+
+<p>The weather at Clausthal, after a brief
+interval of snowstorms, became beautifully
+warm, and the prospect of spending the
+summer in the Hartz Mountains was almost
+alluring. About this time General Friedrichs
+(in charge of prisoners of war) made a speech
+in the Reichstag, in the course of which he<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_77" id="Page_77">[77]</a></span>
+stated that the English treated their prisoners
+better than any other nation (or so the translation
+read), and went on to say that in
+return English prisoners must receive good
+treatment, so that at the conclusion of hostilities
+they would take back good remembrances
+of Germany to their own country. In my
+case things certainly did change (I expect as
+a result of the speech)&mdash;for the worse. A week
+later thirty-five officers, including myself,
+were sent to Str&ouml;hen, a camp which will
+certainly be remembered long after peace is
+declared, but I doubt if the memory will be a
+pleasant one.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_78" id="Page_78">[78]</a></span></p>
+
+
+
+<h2><a name="CHAPTER_VIII" id="CHAPTER_VIII"></a>CHAPTER VIII</h2>
+
+<h4>STR&Ouml;HEN</h4>
+
+
+<p><span class="smcap"><big>P</big>revious</span> to our departure Wolfe personally
+searched our belongings. Although a long
+journey lay in front of us, he only allowed
+each individual to carry two small tins of
+food. In reply to our protests he said that,
+as things were always well arranged in
+Germany, our luggage would therefore arrive
+at the same time as ourselves. This was, of
+course, absolutely untrue, but we had to
+submit. During the great search Wolfe,
+seeing that I was wearing a belt made of
+plaited string (Yes, Mr. Wolfe, the belt in
+question was made of blind cord cut from
+the <i>kurhaus</i> windows!), and noting that it
+was something unusual, ordered me to leave
+it behind. Taking it off, I politely handed it
+to him, and expressed my hope that he would
+keep it as a souvenir! With a charming
+smile he replied, &#8220;Three days <i>stuben</i> arrest,&#8221;
+which I acknowledged with a bow.</p>
+
+<p>Outside the camp, on our way to the
+station we looked back and saw the roll call<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_79" id="Page_79">[79]</a></span>
+was in progress. Thereupon we gave three
+cheers for the many friends we were leaving
+behind us, in spite of the fact that Wolfe and
+the commandant were on parade. We
+travelled second class and at one station were
+even allowed to buy beer; our guards were
+quite reasonable, and things in general went
+off pleasantly. We stayed some time at an
+out-of-the-way station east of Osnabr&uuml;ck,
+where quite a crowd of children collected.
+They scrambled excitedly for the sweets and
+cigarettes which we threw them. Arriving
+at a little station called Str&ouml;hen, which seemed
+to be on a large moor, we got out and started
+for the camp, the German officer bringing
+up the rear in a victoria. After ten minutes&#8217;
+walking down a lonely road we made out a
+group of low wooden huts surrounded by
+high arc lamps and wire, on a desolate
+moorland. Surely this could not be our
+destination, the good camp we had been led to
+expect.</p>
+
+<p>But after inquiring our guards told us it
+was, although they were nearly as much surprised
+at its appearance as we were. At all
+events we were determined to hide our
+feelings and look cheery. Quickening our
+pace we approached the camp singing the
+almost forgotten song, &#8220;Tipperary,&#8221; were
+marched through the gates, and halted in
+front of a small group of German officers, in<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_80" id="Page_80">[80]</a></span>
+the centre of the camp. We at once distinguished
+the commandant, a major, with
+a first class iron cross hanging from his
+collar. He was rather short and stout with
+a square face; his grey whiskers terminated
+in a small double-pointed beard; this completed
+his &#8220;Hunnish&#8221; appearance! With
+his hands behind his back he welcomed us
+with a sullen stare, all the while puffing
+stolidly at his cigar. Had the Huns rehearsed
+this scene for a week they could not
+have given us a more heathen reception. No
+one even made a show at politeness by a nod
+or a salute. A stout and ugly sergeant-major
+(named Muller), wearing a gaudy blue and
+red uniform and sword, bawled at us to
+dress by the right, as if he were addressing a
+squad of recruits. He very nearly exploded
+when we ignored his insolent words of command.
+A rather common little interpreter
+commenced calling the roll, beginning with a
+captain, but only shouting his surname, to
+which there was no response. When his
+voice gradually rose to a shriek the Englishman
+stepped out and said, &#8220;I suppose you
+mean Captain so-and-so.&#8221; The interpreter
+explained matters to the commandant, who
+must have realised that they were in the
+wrong, for in future we were addressed by our
+proper rank. (Victory No. 1.) We were
+each given a disc, on which was stamped our<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_81" id="Page_81">[81]</a></span>
+camp number (mine is now residing at home),
+and shown into our rooms. Late that night
+about two hundred fellows arrived from
+Crefeld, and Muller, finding he could not
+intimidate them, made such a noise that he
+was &#8220;choked off&#8221; by the commandant.
+We learnt that this place had been built as
+a Russian reprisal camp, but that lately
+Roumanian officers had been confined there.
+We were the first British these people had
+ever had to deal with. Hence their very bad
+manners!</p>
+
+<p>Now in a camp of this sort it is very necessary
+to stand up for one&#8217;s rights when treated
+unfairly, otherwise the Germans soon forget
+that you have any rights; at the same time,
+if the treatment is fair, one does one&#8217;s best
+to avoid friction. The best instance of a
+result of the former treatment occurred the
+next afternoon. When some of the Crefeld
+party, who had been allowed to bring provisions
+with them, found that it was not
+possible to obtain hot water for making tea,
+some inventive person at once started a little
+fire of sticks outside my room. Almost
+immediately a N.C.O. leading half a dozen
+armed men appeared on the scene and told
+the offender in a dreadful voice to put the
+fire out at once. Instead of complying the
+culprit dodged into a barrack and out of a
+window on the opposite side and disappeared.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_82" id="Page_82">[82]</a></span>
+When the Huns were able to comprehend the
+audacity of this move they had to put the
+fire out themselves. Half an hour later a
+sentry, seeing three fires burning in the same
+place, strolled over and quietly informed those
+concerned that fires were not allowed, and
+that unless they were put out he would have
+to make a report to the commandant. The
+result was that they were at once extinguished
+with the aid of sand. Our baggage
+did not arrive for nearly a week; then, instead
+of being given out, it was locked up for
+another five days before we received it all.
+During this time we had to live on the German
+food as best we could.</p>
+
+<p><span class="smcap">Accommodation.</span>&mdash;Our quarters consisted
+of three long and two smaller badly made
+huts, divided into rooms containing, mostly,
+two or six officers. The mattresses were
+mostly dirty and hard, being stuffed with
+paper and cardboard, which formed sharp
+edges and lumps. The first week about ten
+of us found &#8220;creepy crawlies,&#8221; and shortly
+before our departure I succeeded in attracting
+some while in the camp hospital! The Huns
+provided us with the German equivalent for
+&#8220;Keating&#8217;s&#8221; after much agitation, after
+making us pay for it. The doctor said that
+the newly captured prisoners must have
+brought the creatures into the camp. That
+may have been true in a few cases, but even<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_83" id="Page_83">[83]</a></span>
+so they are to blame for not making adequate
+arrangements to prevent it. We each received
+a tin basin, but the washing was all
+done at three pumps outside. All the drinking
+water was derived from this source, and had a
+strong and disagreeable taste. A few feet
+away from each pump was a stagnant pool
+into which the waste water flowed. I think
+it is reasonable to suppose that a good proportion
+of it, after filtering through the sand,
+was pumped up again. In spite of these
+trifles we were told that the water had been
+analysed and passed by the medical authorities.
+I suppose both the colour and flavour
+were only due to the presence of iron, in
+which case I have no doubt it was an excellent
+tonic. I should have liked to have
+seen the doctor&#8217;s face had he been made to
+swallow a glassful. I am thinking of forming
+a company for the purpose of building
+a hydro on the site of the old camp, so
+that every one may have an opportunity of
+enjoying perfect health by taking the Str&ouml;hen
+waters. I hope the reader will assist me by
+buying shares in this excellent concern.
+(A large cemetery will, of course, be necessary,
+but grave-digging should not prove to
+be expensive, the soil being very light!)</p>
+
+<p>The safest and most comfortable place in
+the camp was the small hospital, which was
+under the care of a very decent corporal in a<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_84" id="Page_84">[84]</a></span>
+Brandenburg regiment. The dining and
+common rooms were in one long barrack,
+divided into two sections. At one end of the
+latter was a canteen of sorts, which ultimately
+improved considerably. The sanitary
+arrangements were most primitive, the
+breezes constantly reminding one of their
+inefficiency. For the first month the weather
+was glorious, and during the evening stroll
+round it was maddening to watch the red
+sun slowly sinking behind the distant woods
+to the westward, showing us the way to
+Holland and freedom. The journey by train
+would have been accomplished in a few hours
+under ordinary circumstances. It was almost
+incredible to think, though it was only too
+true, that a few strands of wire and some
+grey-clad sentries could keep us confined in
+this desert-like camp, containing neither
+grass nor trees, isolated from all the pleasures
+of summer. Whenever there was a wind we
+enjoyed a whirling sandstorm. Often I have
+seen it so thick as to temporarily obscure the
+further camp buildings. If we had only been
+allowed camels and facilities for exercising,
+we should soon have looked upon a journey
+across the Sahara as mere child&#8217;s play. After
+a victory (real or imaginary), or an anniversary,
+it was with very rebellious feelings that
+we watched the German flag fluttering in
+the breezes. I did not mind the coloured one<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_85" id="Page_85">[85]</a></span>
+quite so much, but it was almost more than
+I could stand to see the pale yellow flag,
+framing the treacherous scraggy black eagle,
+flying over my head. In one part of the camp
+there was just room for a game of tennis.
+Several classes were formed for learning
+languages, and indulging in &#8220;physical jerks&#8221;
+(culture), though I&#8217;m sorry to say I much
+preferred watching and jeering with the ever
+increasing majority.</p>
+
+<p>Occasionally sports days were organised,
+which went off in style, the chief items being
+short races, jumping, cock-fighting, also a
+competition which necessitated each individual
+eating a sticky bun dangling from a
+tightly stretched string without using his
+hands. This may not sound much of a feat,
+but when one realises that the bun consists
+of a chunk of stale black bread exuding
+coarse treacle, the difficulty will be better
+understood. Several canaries had been
+brought along from the former camp. In
+one instance a man in the Flying Corps,
+possessing a sitting bird, carried her so carefully
+that she never left the eggs and eventually
+reared her young at Str&ouml;hen.</p>
+
+<p>Latterly chip carving became the fashion,
+as it was then possible to obtain the necessary
+articles from a German firm through the
+canteen. Concerts were frequently held,
+and as the camp contained very considerable<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_86" id="Page_86">[86]</a></span>
+talent, we had some really first class performances,
+after being allowed to hire a
+piano from the nearest town. One day a new
+lot of orderlies arrived and took up their
+quarters in a barrack separated from our
+part of the camp by some wire. Among
+their number was a private called Cheeseman,
+a born comedian, who used to get up sing-songs
+and sketches; the star turn, however,
+was a selection from his orchestra, which he
+used to conduct with a broomstick from
+an inverted bucket. The instruments were
+two mandolines, one banjo, one mandola, a
+tin whistle, an accordion, a rattle, a comb,
+and a lump of iron. Somehow the performers
+played in tune, but they always sent us into
+fits of laughter, and even amused the watching
+Huns. Although Cheeseman often disappeared
+into cells for several days, he was
+never really squashed and always reappeared
+with a new joke. I was lucky enough to
+receive a good assortment of flower seeds
+from home, including sunflowers, sweet
+peas, nasturtiums, etc.; these I immediately
+planted in a tiny museum-like garden,
+and tended carefully, in the hope that
+some day the plants would assume large
+enough proportions to enable me to believe
+temporarily on special occasions that I was
+actually amid the flowers of good old England.
+In my case the deception was fortunately<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_87" id="Page_87">[87]</a></span>
+not necessary, as I was destined to enjoy
+the real thing, though unfortunately in hospital.</p>
+
+<p><span class="smcap">Treatment.</span>&mdash;The first roll calls, though
+unnecessarily long, were quite entertaining.
+They were conducted by a guards lieutenant
+with a pronounced limp, who went by the
+name of &#8220;Cork-leg.&#8221; Even when speaking of
+a matter of no importance his voice would
+become louder and louder until it threatened
+to reach a shrill scream. On one occasion
+when the interpreter was not present, some
+unoffending person asked the Hun a question
+in English. Cork-leg replied, with a dreadful
+roar, that we must understand that the
+language of the camp was German, and
+German only. Things were going a little too
+far, so every time the gentleman gave expression
+to his thoughts in too vehement a manner
+most of us whispered a long-drawn &#8220;Hush.&#8221;
+The parade being in square formation, when
+he turned suddenly to arrest the offender, he
+found those facing him wearing an air of
+injured innocence, while those in his rear
+continued the good work. This had the
+desired effect, and although it meant &#8220;<i>stuben</i>
+arrest&#8221; for several fellows, the officer soon
+realised what an ass he was making of himself
+and became almost normal, with the result
+that things went smoothly for a while.</p>
+
+<p>Soon after our arrival, a fortnight, to be<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_88" id="Page_88">[88]</a></span>
+correct, the newly captured infantry officers,
+numbering about fifty, were ordered to give
+up their steel helmets at a given roll call.
+This naturally went against the grain. The
+owners mostly destroyed the rubber padding
+and hid the helmets, resolving that at least
+they should not benefit the Hun. At the
+appointed time eight instead of fifty were
+surrendered to the officer on duty. On the
+morning of the twelfth of June a number of
+German soldiers set to work with poles and
+hooks to drag the pools for submerged helmets.
+By and by they succeeded in picking
+out quite a number of those steel fish, every
+additional one landed calling forth a subdued
+cheer from the onlookers. In the afternoon,
+having nothing to do but kill time, I strolled
+out of a barrack, my hands in my pockets,
+with no immediate objective in view. Outside
+a few Germans were still fishing for
+helmets, while half a dozen Britishers were
+lazily watching operations. After joining
+them for a minute or two I turned to walk
+over to another building. True, there were
+some sentries with fixed bayonets lounging
+about, but that was nothing unusual, for
+they might well be in charge of the orderlies
+who were working near by. I had not gone
+ten yards when a tall, unshaven <i>Landsturmer</i>
+swung round and barred my way.
+He told me with a snarl that I was not<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_89" id="Page_89">[89]</a></span>
+allowed there and motioned me back with
+his hand. I told him that I was not aware
+of any new order and only wished to go to
+the neighbouring building. Whereupon he
+repeated his words in a still more offensive
+tone, and brought his rifle to the ready.
+(Even a German sentry is supposed to be
+reasonably polite when addressing an officer
+prisoner for the first time, but this man was
+purposely rude.) I replied that if he addressed
+me as a British officer and not as a
+dog I should obey him at once, otherwise I
+should remain where I was. After a few
+more unintelligible threats he advanced,
+brandishing his weapon, at which I turned
+sideways to call to a German N.C.O. and
+protest against such treatment. The kindly
+sentry aimed a smashing blow at my left
+foot, which I was luckily able to partially
+deflect by a slight movement of my knee.
+Things were certainly quite disturbing, for
+the next instant he stuck the bayonet
+almost through my right thigh. The proceeding
+was not particularly pleasant, feeling
+very like a sharp burn, but I was almost too
+surprised to realise fully what had happened,
+so consequently remained standing where I
+was. Vaguely I realised that the sentry had
+withdrawn his bayonet for another thrust,
+this time evidently intended to enter my
+body. Glancing down I saw that my trouser<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_90" id="Page_90">[90]</a></span>
+leg was saturated and streaming with blood,
+which was even welling out of my shoe
+on to the ground, showing that an artery
+had been severed. Not being particularly
+partial to bayonet thrusts, I decided that I
+could now abandon my argument without
+loss of prestige. I succeeded in hobbling
+a few yards to the rear, at the same time
+holding the artery above the wound in
+an endeavour to check the flow of blood.
+This, however, did not prove very successful,
+the sand continuing to turn red behind
+me. Just as I was in the act of falling,
+a number of our fellows, seeing what had
+happened, rushed up and carried me hastily
+into the camp hospital, where a tourniquet
+was applied and the doctor sent for. The
+time was then a quarter-past three, and the
+doctor did not arrive till after seven o&#8217;clock.
+I rather fancy if an accident of that sort had
+occurred in an English prison camp containing
+over four hundred German officers,
+it would not be necessary to wait almost
+four hours before the arrival of a qualified
+doctor.</p>
+
+<p>At the best of times a very tight tourniquet
+is distinctly uncomfortable. The medical
+orderly thinking that I should lose consciousness
+and seeing the commandant enter
+the room, explained the circumstances and
+asked if he might give me a little brandy.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_91" id="Page_91">[91]</a></span>
+After due consideration and much chewing
+at the ragged end of his eternal cigar, he
+replied that as water would be given to a
+wounded German soldier, it was good enough
+for me. Though I pretended not to hear,
+these remarks impressed me considerably.
+The N.C.O. looked after me very well, and
+early next morning took me to the station in
+an ambulance on my way to Hanover
+Hospital. Two private soldiers acted as
+stretcher-bearers, with the N.C.O. in charge.
+When the train arrived it was found that the
+stretcher was too broad to go into a carriage,
+so I travelled in the luggage van, among
+trunks, bicycles and baskets of fish. The
+Germans were quite jolly and sang a few
+songs, while I, in a half dead condition,
+endeavoured to accompany them on my
+beloved mandoline. At Hanover I was
+dumped down at a Red Cross centre below
+the station to await the ambulance. Soon
+quite a pretty nurse (for a wonder) came up
+and inquired if I was English. I could not
+resist replying in German: &#8220;Yes, sister, I
+am one of those <i>Schweinhund Englanders</i>!&#8221;
+To my surprise she seemed quite embarrassed,
+and hastily answered me that they did not
+say that <i>now</i>. (Emphasis on the <i>now</i>.) In
+the conveyance I lay beside a wounded
+German private, also bound for hospital.
+When my curiosity had broken the ice, he<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_92" id="Page_92">[92]</a></span>
+told me that he had just returned from the
+Messines Ridge, where he had acquired a
+great respect for British artillery and mines
+(though he himself was a sapper). The
+Hanover hospitals which usually take in
+prisoners are Nos. 1 and 7; to my relief I
+was taken to No. 1, which is recognised as
+the best. I received practically the same
+treatment as the German patients, and
+occupied a room with three other British
+officers. Some of the food we received was
+quite good, a little fresh milk and butter,
+and one or two whitish rolls of bread, and, of
+course, the usual doubtful soups. Immediately
+outside the window was a large
+flowering acacia tree, looking delightfully
+shady and cool after Str&ouml;hen desert. Another
+luxury we sometimes enjoyed was strawberries,
+which the German orderly bought in
+large quantities, afterwards selling them to
+some of the doctors and nurses as well as
+ourselves. At frequent intervals a band
+outside played a very ordinary uninteresting
+dead march, announcing each time a German
+(usually a patient) had gone &#8220;West.&#8221; Soon
+after my arrival I saw a Zeppelin flying very
+low over the town. I was delighted and
+remarked to a Bosch that it was the first
+Zeppelin I had ever seen. He was quite
+indignant and told me that I ought to know
+that it was a Schutte-Lanz, a new type of<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_93" id="Page_93">[93]</a></span>
+airship. My education must have been
+sadly neglected!</p>
+
+<p>Bayonet wounds are, for several reasons,
+liable to become septic; mine, however,
+healed up remarkably quickly, saving me
+endless bother. In a fortnight I started back
+to the camp, accompanied by a N.C.O. and a
+private, who helped me slowly along. We
+went by train, without causing much interest.
+This was a good thing, for it is very hard to
+look dignified when feeling like nothing on
+earth, and looking as white as a sheet. Many
+of the small boys were dressed up as soldiers
+in one way or another, and I twice saw a
+small ragamuffin band with tins for kettle-drums.
+Just wouldn&#8217;t there be a fine scrap
+if a similar band of London children had
+suddenly rounded the corner! Personally, I
+would back the cockney spirit against any
+other. This was my second visit to Hanover,
+and on no occasion had I seen a motor other
+than the one ambulance car, though I heard
+two in the distance. Owing to the scarcity
+of rubber I was surprised at the number of
+bicycles present in the streets, but closer
+inspection proved that that difficulty had been
+overcome by a clever invention, by which
+the shock is lessened by an outer wooden
+rim held in position by strong springs,
+which are compressed as they take the
+weight. During the train journey my escort,<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_94" id="Page_94">[94]</a></span>
+as usual, drew my attention to the splendid
+way in which the Germans treated their
+prisoners by allowing them to travel second
+class. They simply would not believe that
+German officers in England always travelled
+first. The private, who owned a cigar factory
+in Hanover, became quite chatty and seemed
+very anxious to know if I thought the trade
+relationships between England and Germany
+would be the same as ever after the war.
+He was very surprised and, indeed, quite
+distressed when I told him that I thought
+there would be a considerable change&mdash;it
+seemed that the idea had never occurred to
+him before.</p>
+
+<p>I was not sorry when the camp was
+reached and I entered the little camp hospital
+to remain there for another two weeks.
+Several fellows having escaped from the
+camp temporarily, the commandant got the
+sack. Many speculations concerning his
+probable successor were indulged in, and I
+think the general opinion of the camp was
+that the newcomer might be better, though
+he could not be worse. We soon discovered
+our mistake. His first appearance was not
+exactly promising. Two fellows while walking
+round the camp suddenly heard a stream of
+abuse violently directed at them, and looking
+up, they saw the commandant coming towards
+them through a gate in the wire, fairly<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_95" id="Page_95">[95]</a></span>
+bursting with rage. His unreasonable complaint
+was that he had not been saluted
+while entering his office outside the wire!
+The offenders were at once packed off to
+cells for two or three days. The next day a
+few Britishers arrived from another camp,
+and while they were waiting outside to be
+admitted, a small and orderly crowd collected
+on the inside to see if they could recognise
+any one, or exchange a few remarks. Being
+unable to walk much I watched the proceedings
+from the window of my room and
+was able to see everything that took place.
+Without any warning the mad commandant
+rushed out of a building and up to the wire,
+where he screamed at the little gathering
+like a madman, making violent motions to
+show that they were to go back. It is perfectly
+legitimate to stand in a group as long
+as every one behaves and no one touches the
+neutral zone wire. One must stand somewhere.
+In this case he had absolutely no
+right to order a move. The interpreter, who
+happened to be near, walked up and said
+that the commandant desired us to go away,
+whereupon the officers began to disperse,
+wishing to humour him. I was startled to
+see two soldiers come through the gate with
+fixed bayonets in a quick business-like way,
+to drive the fellows back faster, evidently by
+the commandant&#8217;s express orders. The<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_96" id="Page_96">[96]</a></span>
+younger of the two guards went straight up
+to an unoffending medical student, a Lieutenant
+Downes (S. Staffs.), who was then
+turning round, and pricked him in the
+stomach with his bayonet. To prevent the
+steady pressure making the slight wound
+worse, Downes seized the end of the rifle and,
+jerking the point out, swung it to the right,
+and then turning round walked quickly back.
+The sentry, after running past several other
+officers, overtook him and, to my horror,
+stuck the bayonet into his back. After continuing
+his walk for a few steps Downes
+collapsed and was at once carried into
+hospital, the next day being taken to Hanover.
+The wound was very serious, however; we
+received a message from the hospital a few
+days later stating that the bayonet had
+penetrated into one lung, but that he was
+getting on well and would probably soon
+recover.</p>
+
+<p>The same sentry, in his eagerness to obey
+orders, tried to bayonet a Captain Woodhouse,
+but as his prey jumped back just in
+time, only succeeded in cutting the skin.
+By this time a large crowd had collected,
+which the sentries continued slowly forcing
+back, although they were then fifty yards
+from the wire. As the news spread the crowd
+became larger, but remained ominously
+quiet, the two Germans not seeming to<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_97" id="Page_97">[97]</a></span>
+realise the danger of their position. It is the
+worst feeling I know to watch a cowardly
+display of this sort and yet be able to do
+absolutely nothing. It only needed a spark
+to set everything in a blaze, which must
+have ended in the guard being turned out
+for machine-gun practice. Meanwhile, the
+news reached some Britishers who were half-way
+through a concert. By mutual consent
+it was at once broken up by the singing of
+the National Anthem. Every one outside at
+once stood to attention and heartily joined in
+the last few bars. It was the most impressive
+scene one could possibly imagine. I am sure
+that no one who had witnessed it would in
+after years, without feeling murder in his
+heart, watch a man belonging to the mongrel
+breed, which is not infrequently seen sitting
+down while everybody else is standing for
+the National Anthem, only being forced
+grudgingly to his feet by public opinion, even
+then not removing his hat unless it is knocked
+off. I am convinced that if Ramsay Macdonald
+and a few of his colleagues could have
+spent a week in a bad German prison camp
+they would be only too willing to instruct
+their misguided followers in singing &#8220;God
+Save the King,&#8221; in the spirit and way in
+which it should be and was sung at Str&ouml;hen
+on July 15th, 1917. The situation was
+saved.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_98" id="Page_98">[98]</a></span></p>
+
+<p>Our senior officer took advantage of the
+pause at the end while we were still under
+control, standing at attention, and told us
+to separate at once, as he would do everything
+that was possible. At this Israel
+departed every man to his own tent. The
+major asked for an immediate interview with
+the commandant, but the German captain
+who had entered replied that that was
+unfortunately impossible as that officer had
+gone out at lunch time and would not return
+till late. It was a most &#8220;kolossal&#8221; lie, but
+I do not think that the captain should be
+saddled with it, as he was, doubtless, acting
+under instructions. Most of those present,
+including myself, would have sworn on oath
+that we had seen the commandant a few
+minutes before and that he had caused all
+the trouble. But then what is one to do?
+Of course the usual complaints went (or
+rather were supposed to go) to higher authority
+(ambassadors and the like), but no
+satisfaction was obtained. It seems not
+unlikely that they all found their way into
+the office waste-paper basket by the most
+direct route.</p>
+
+<p>Again, a few days later about a dozen
+fellows were watching a party of Germans,
+under a <i>Feldwebel</i> Pohlman, digging up an
+old tunnel which had fallen in near the
+wire. Everything was quiet and Pohlman<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_99" id="Page_99">[99]</a></span>
+was even talking naturally with one of our
+number, when I noticed him turn and speak
+a few words to the sergeant of the guard,
+who turned and entered the guardroom,
+evidently in a hurry. Knowing that this
+Pohlman, in spite of his oily manner and
+smug appearance, was a Hun in every sense
+of the word, I kept my weather eye open,
+warned the others and strolled off. A few
+seconds later four of the worst sentries in the
+place, having entered the camp unobserved,
+came running round the corner of a shed,
+their bayonets drawn back for thrusting,
+obviously having received orders that the
+next victim had to be finished off, the object,
+I suppose, being either to teach us a lesson
+or cause a mutiny. Some one shouted a
+warning to three fellows who were standing
+talking to each other unconscious of their
+danger, but before they had time to realise
+their predicament the sentries were on them.
+The Huns singled out a Captain Wilson
+(R.F.C.), and before he could get away,
+surrounded him, while one villainous-looking
+little Hun lunged straight at him. By a
+quick movement Wilson avoided the thrust
+and succeeded in breaking away, the bayonet
+passing through his clothes. The guard continued
+to press every one back into the centre
+of the camp, very serious trouble again only
+just being avoided.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_100" id="Page_100">[100]</a></span></p>
+
+<p>Another incident of this sort happened a
+few days later, when to our surprise some
+strong sherry arrived at the canteen, and
+was soon bought up by the thirsty prisoners.
+I think there was another object in view,
+as well as a desire to make money. Towards
+evening some Englishmen were sitting near
+the wire, close to where the sentry who had
+assaulted Downes was stationed. One of the
+fellows, feeling a little cheerful, amused himself
+by alluding to the bravery of the act.
+At the worst this was only a case calling for
+a little solitary confinement. I suppose the
+sentry passed the word along to the guardroom,
+for soon three sentries passed through
+the camp, metaphorically whetting their
+bayonets, going towards the scene of the
+disturbance. Before reaching it they unslung
+their rifles and fixed their bayonets,
+doubled round the corner of the building,
+expecting to surprise the unfortunate
+Englander. But to their disgust they only
+found empty chairs and returned very
+dejected.</p>
+
+<p>After this episode we had a dance in the
+dining-room, several fellows making up into
+the most charming girls, and did our best to
+forget our unpleasant surroundings. At ten
+o&#8217;clock, when we had gone to our barracks,
+according to the rules, Pohlman conducted
+an armed party of half a dozen Huns with<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_101" id="Page_101">[101]</a></span>
+fixed bayonets round the huts and every
+part of the camp, but failed to find the
+excuse he was longing for. Now what about
+the Cambrai officer&#8217;s question, &#8220;Why do
+you call us Huns?&#8221; <i>Why, indeed?</i></p>
+
+<p>The German captain nearly always took
+roll call. Though fairly harmless, he was
+quite mad. He seldom brought an interpreter
+on parade and made long speeches
+and read orders to us, all in German, the
+great majority, of course, not understanding
+a single word! One day we heard the new
+commandant was coming on parade for the
+first time that evening, so therefore looked
+forward to some fun. When the time for the
+roll call arrived we were inspected as usual,
+and were standing waiting, when the little
+captain suddenly drew himself up to his
+full height, and screamed out: &#8220;<i>Augen
+Rechts&mdash;Augen Links&mdash;Gerade Aus</i>.&#8221; As
+we were standing in three sides of a square it
+was an order to make every one face the commandant
+with a martial air. The net result
+of this &#8220;Double Dutch&#8221; was that everyone
+broke into an amused smile, which increased
+almost to hysterics when we caught sight of
+the recipient of this honour. The commandant
+was a tall, doddery, antediluvian
+Prussian colonel, with long grey moustaches,
+the very image of the Monkey Brand advertisement,
+only perhaps not quite so good<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_102" id="Page_102">[102]</a></span>
+looking. Why he did not fall over his trailing
+scabbard in every step remains a mystery to
+this day.</p>
+
+<p>There was another curious little trick the
+captain sometimes indulged in. In the
+middle of delivering a tirade he would
+suddenly point to heaven with a dramatic
+gesture, as if to prove the truth of a recent
+statement by invoking the Kaiser&#8217;s God.
+Perhaps some day he will learn that the
+popular spirit of Germany lives not above but
+very far below.</p>
+
+<p>Soon after our arrival the prison was
+enlarged, as it always has to be when the
+camp becomes British. Fellows were often
+sent there for an offence about which they
+had never heard, without being able to say
+one word in self defence. In about two months
+I believe nearly half the camp had been in
+&#8220;clink.&#8221; Until latterly it was forbidden to
+open windows at night, but being English
+we took the law into our own hands and
+continued opening the windows, refusing to
+be deprived of fresh air in the stifling heat.
+This naturally resulted in more prison, which
+at first relieved and then increased the
+monotony. Though it is hardly credible,
+our colonel had to carry out a sentence of
+three days &#8220;<i>stuben</i> arrest&#8221; for losing his
+poker! About this time an Australian was
+put into prison for a trivial offence which<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_103" id="Page_103">[103]</a></span>
+had been committed by some one else, and
+did not even receive his sentence for three
+whole weeks!</p>
+
+<p>While in &#8220;jug&#8221; in this camp we were not
+allowed parcels, writing materials, books or
+smokes. We complained about this to a
+general who inspected the camp later; he
+expressed surprise at this state of affairs and
+had things partially rectified. For about two
+months all cigars and cigarettes received in
+parcels were stopped, the only reason
+given being that in some cases they had
+contained poison for destroying cattle. Not
+only were chances of destroying cattle
+exceedingly small, but we offered to smoke
+any cigarette they chose to give us from our
+parcels to prove the falsity of the charge.</p>
+
+<p>By an agreement between the Governments
+those serving terms of imprisonment
+for offences committed before the 4th of
+August, 1917, were released, a great number
+of the gaol-birds being sent to Str&ouml;hen.
+Residing in prison was a captain who made
+a hobby of being court-martialled. Under
+this new ruling he was taken out of cells for
+a few days, only to be put back to await trial
+for the trumped-up charge of having poison
+tablets on his person when recaptured after
+his last escape. I believe the only tablets he
+carried were either for purifying water, or
+Horlick&#8217;s malted milk. Every one recaptured<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_104" id="Page_104">[104]</a></span>
+when trying to escape in the late winter
+of 1916 or the following spring received a
+sentence of five months&#8217; imprisonment, a
+fortnight the original punishment, and the
+remainder as a supposed reprisal for the
+sentence given to escaping Germans in
+England.</p>
+
+<p>The food given us was very bad indeed,
+though the list must have looked quite nice
+on paper. Apart from the eternal and loathsome
+gherkins, of which no mention was
+made, it asserted that we received fish twice
+a week! The Tuesday fish was of a dried
+variety, and had such a delicious smell when
+cooked that it was impossible to enter the
+dining-room when it was on the prowl!
+While that on Friday consisted of heaps of
+old mussels containing quantities of sand
+and young pebbles, known amongst ourselves
+as those &mdash;&mdash; barnacles, scraped
+from the ships at Kiel. The whole time
+I was there I never once had an opportunity
+of buying any fresh fruit, though it
+was summer time and we could have paid
+good prices. The only result of my bayoneting
+episode was that the sentry was congratulated,
+and I was warned for a court-martial!
+When a staff captain arrived from
+Hanover to collect the evidence for the
+approaching trials, quite a cheery little
+crowd of accused officers were awaiting him.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_105" id="Page_105">[105]</a></span>
+Several of them were to appear on two or
+three charges, and three R.F.C. officers were
+to be tried for dropping leaflets in the
+German lines. I believe it came to nothing
+in the end, as there was not enough evidence
+to convict them. Captain Scholtz and
+Lieutenant Wookey do not seem to have
+been so lucky. When my turn came, several
+German witnesses were produced who swore
+that after being struck on the foot with the
+butt, I had jumped forward to seize the rifle,
+asserting that the sentry had only acted in
+self-defence. (Such a truthful race!) When
+the captain was taking down my statement,
+we frequently got off the subject altogether.
+All of a sudden he would assert that the
+English had started the war and ask me the
+reason for their doing so. Thoroughly roused,
+I would reply that it was nonsense and he
+must know it. Then ensued an amusing but
+fiery argument about the neutrality of
+Belgium, the use of native troops, and
+frightfulness in general. His plea was that
+poor little unoffending Germany was only
+standing up for herself against a set of blood-thirsty
+enemies who wished to crush her.
+Needless to say, I did not feel much like
+sympathising. When we finally got back to
+business, all particulars were taken as a
+matter of form, my slaughterer&#8217;s name and
+address being taken down. Before my<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_106" id="Page_106">[106]</a></span>
+departure I managed to get a glimpse of it
+when the captain was out of the room. I do
+not suffer from loss of memory!</p>
+
+<p>The all-absorbing problem of camp life is
+escaping. Up to this time half a dozen
+fellows had succeeded in getting away from
+the camp, but were afterwards recaptured.
+I will endeavour to give an outline of the
+several attempts and the difficulties to be
+overcome, which must of necessity be very
+curtailed, this book not being originally
+written for the benefit of the &#8220;Bosch.&#8221; The
+most usual way is to cut the wire, but where
+sentries are numerous the undertaking is both
+difficult and dangerous. It is most natural to
+try stunts of the sort under cover of darkness.
+At this camp, however, the paraffin arc
+lamps were particularly brilliant, and when
+star-gazing on several occasions I have seen
+rats and mice scuttle across the white sand
+some distance away. Though storms often
+raged during the day, the wind almost
+invariably blew itself out towards night,
+leaving a dead calm, broken only by the
+tramp of sentries or the distant rattling hum
+of a nightjar. It is a brave man who, having
+determined this mode of exit, leaves his hut
+when others are sleeping, and vanishes.
+Presently, if he gets safely across the intervening
+ground, the faint yet feverish snipping
+of wire-cutters is heard, each time being<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_107" id="Page_107">[107]</a></span>
+followed perhaps by a slight &#8220;ping&#8221; as the
+strained wire separates. The ensuing silence
+is almost heart-breaking, for in contrast
+something else may at any instant be increasing
+its tension, a sentry&#8217;s trigger-finger.
+One stormy night, when in hospital, I had
+reason to believe that an officer would make
+an attempt in that part of the camp at a
+given hour, so had an excellent chance of
+watching operations, which was not wasted.
+I went to the window and settled down for a
+long wait. Outside it was still raining, the
+sentries being in their boxes. A little before
+the time I caught sight of a dark figure
+which clambered out of the orderlies&#8217; hut and
+crawled into the neutral zone up to the
+outside wire, which he lay parallel to and
+commenced to cut. To my surprise, another
+figure joined him from the hut and lay there
+waiting; this was an orderly who had
+decided to join at the last instant. In about
+one and a half minutes a large enough gap
+had been cut, and the adventurers crawled
+through it, and were preparing to make a
+dash into the darkness when a sentry spotted
+them and stepped out of his box. Having
+burned their boats, off they went. The
+sentry ran a few steps, then, stopping
+abruptly, raised his rifle and fired. It was
+an anxious moment for the onlookers; the
+fugitives already knew the result, while, as<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_108" id="Page_108">[108]</a></span>
+yet, we did not. However, to our relief, the
+ghost-like figures continued their flight until
+they were swallowed up in the darkness, and
+the reflection of the artificial light on their
+wet rain-coats became too weak to give away
+their position. In their anxiety to leave the
+camp behind they tended to separate, but
+both fell headlong into a deep ditch, where
+they met again. In their first dash one of
+them dropped most of the provisions, which
+the Germans discovered and brought back
+to the camp in triumph. Six days afterwards
+they were recaptured, thirty kilometres from
+the border. Two officers cut the wire in
+broad daylight, when the nearest sentry was
+busy opening a gate admitting some orderlies.
+They left the camp by way of a ditch without
+being seen, crawling as they had never
+crawled before, their heads showing above
+the level of the fields, like two wobbling
+cabbages going for a hurried evening stroll.
+Their success was short-lived, for, only an
+hour afterwards, they were spotted and
+chased by some farmers, being finally brought
+to a stop by a man with a shot-gun. Another
+couple left the camp by the following ingenious
+method. A captain, who spoke German like
+a native, dressed up in the clothes of a Hun
+private (somehow acquired). Some of the
+essential things were missing, and had been
+manufactured in secret, such as a cap and a<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_109" id="Page_109">[109]</a></span>
+painted wooden bayonet, with a lovely
+coloured tassel. When everything was
+ready, about ten o&#8217;clock one morning, a
+perfectly good German private marched an
+R.F.C. lieutenant, disguised as an orderly,
+who carried two buckets (containing their
+kit), up to a gate in the wire, which he rattled
+to signify that it must be unlocked immediately.
+The sentry came along, unlocked the
+gate, and let him out. They proceeded to
+the road, which they followed for a short
+distance. That afternoon, while crossing a
+wild bit of country, they had the misfortune
+to be recaptured by a shooting party, being
+first completely surrounded by the beaters.
+Two other officers got out separately in an
+ingenious way, the first being recaptured
+crossing a bridge over the Ems, quite near
+Holland; the second lost direction, and was
+retaken four days after, having got thoroughly
+lost. One unlucky person was collared just
+outside the wire, dressed as an orderly, and
+was taken straight to prison to enjoy a period
+of perfect rest!</p>
+
+<p>I worked in several tunnels at different
+times, fitted with air pumps and perhaps
+even electric light&mdash;who knows? Digging
+oneself out is, at the best of times, a slow and
+difficult proposition, which is almost invariably
+discovered sooner or later. The
+humorous side of tunnelling is so pronounced<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_110" id="Page_110">[110]</a></span>
+that, could &#8220;Bairnsfather&#8221; view one such
+episode, our bookstalls would shortly be
+surrounded by eager crowds, clamouring
+for the first edition of &#8220;Fragments from
+Germany,&#8221; depicting mud-bespattered &#8220;Old
+Bills&#8221; crawling for their very lives down
+narrow tunnels, closely pursued by the wily
+Hun!</p>
+
+<p>About this time I made my second attempt
+to escape, and succeeded in getting outside
+the wire for the time being, early one afternoon
+during bathing hours, only to discover
+that my proposed hiding-place was occupied
+by Germans. After sitting solemnly beside
+my kit for an hour, expecting discovery every
+second, I was lucky enough to return, unmolested,
+with a party of bathers. During
+this period of anxious waiting I was surprised
+to find that the thought of losing my carefully
+prepared outfit was considerably more distressing
+than the actual prospect of imprisonment.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_111" id="Page_111">[111]</a></span></p>
+
+
+
+<h2><a name="CHAPTER_IX" id="CHAPTER_IX"></a>CHAPTER IX</h2>
+
+<h4>&#8220;AN OUTLAW ONCE AGAIN&#8221;</h4>
+
+
+<p><span class="smcap"><big>W</big>hen</span> a sufficient number of officers had
+collected for baths at a little gate, a sentry
+allowed them to pass through it and along
+a short, wired path, or bird-cage (as we called
+it), and thence into the bath-room. This
+room was situated about ten yards outside
+the wire, in the middle of a wooden barrack,
+running parallel to, and about fifteen yards
+away from, the wire. It is subdivided to
+form a dressing-room and a place for the
+shower baths, every exit being strongly
+barred, and a sentry stationed at the door.
+After a minute inspection of every nook and
+cranny, I found that it was just possible, by
+standing upright, to squeeze into an alcove,
+about eleven inches deep and a foot wide, in
+an angle formed by a wall and the brickwork
+of a chimney which projected into the
+room.</p>
+
+<p>Though in full view of the door, it was
+partially hidden behind an empty stove. I
+reasoned that, should a well-made dummy<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_112" id="Page_112">[112]</a></span>
+wall obscure the aperture, it would take a
+very observant sentry to detect anything
+amiss. As a last resource, even should it
+be noticed, it might pass as something to do
+with the heating of the adjacent room.
+After weighing up the chances of success for
+several days, I decided that it was worth
+trying. When the measurements had been
+taken, behind the Bosch&#8217;s back, I set to work
+to manufacture the false wall.</p>
+
+<p>Most of my friends ridiculed the idea,
+calling my pet wall a doll&#8217;s house and other
+insulting names, and bestowing on me much
+superfluous sympathy and pity. They argued
+that it had not been done before, and
+was, therefore, impossible, doing their level
+best to stop me embarking on such a mad
+enterprise. At first they almost succeeded
+in their object, but, knowing that most
+ordinary people remain in a camp indefinitely,
+working on more orthodox lines, I determined
+that I would put it to the test, if only to
+prove them wrong, or land myself in prison.
+One infantry officer, who had previously been
+through a course of camouflage, gave me his
+moral support, which counted for a good
+deal.</p>
+
+<p>The wall was made of cardboard sewn
+tightly on to a light wooden frame, the whole
+being made in three sections, which, when
+fitted together, reached the height of about<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_113" id="Page_113">[113]</a></span>
+eight feet six inches. The top section was
+fitted with a leather hinge, which allowed the
+upper half of it to slope back at an angle of
+forty-five degrees, so that the hiding-place
+should not appear to be hollow. When at
+last the doll&#8217;s house was finished, it defied
+all efforts to whiten it, and seemed to have a
+rooted objection to being made to resemble
+the dirty whitewash of the bath-room. I
+tried melting old whitewash (scraped off the
+walls) with gum and hot water, but it either
+fell off when dry or showed the wet cardboard
+plainly through. Chloride of lime proved
+equally useless. Only a little white paint
+was procurable, but this was altogether too
+smooth and shiny. One day, when the three
+sections were drying outside on the sand,
+a German <i>feldwebel</i> (sergeant-major&mdash;commonly
+known as a &#8220;fieldwobble&#8221;) came
+along, and inquired if I was making a model
+aeroplane. When I replied that his surmise
+was correct, he asked me, with a slow smile,
+if I intended flying away when the machine
+was completed. The wicked old creature
+departed, highly amused at my answer,
+&#8220;Yes, I hope so.&#8221; Certainly many a true
+word is spoken in jest!</p>
+
+<p>After a week&#8217;s experimenting with useless
+colouring mixtures, I was almost in despair,
+when the desired effect was produced by
+coating the cardboard with a thick cornflour<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_114" id="Page_114">[114]</a></span>
+paste, finally toning it down with a mixture
+of cobwebs and mud.</p>
+
+<p>Though on three separate occasions I had
+everything ready for the final test, it was not
+before August 16th that conditions were at
+last favourable enough to risk my welfare
+for the next few weeks. A little before five
+o&#8217;clock I entered the bath-room, accompanied
+by several assistants. Our journey thither
+was rather amusing, though the slightest
+accident would have meant much &#8220;<i>stuben</i>
+arrest.&#8221; It is not easy to walk naturally
+when carrying a young wall out of sight under
+one&#8217;s coat, which is doing its best to give the
+show away by shedding bits of plaster which
+fall to the ground and leave a trail, reminding
+one strongly of a paper chase.</p>
+
+<p>However, the sentries noticed nothing
+unusual. As soon as the Hun&#8217;s back was
+turned I slipped the sections together and
+squeezed into the alcove, into which I was
+securely fastened by a friend, who whispered
+that everything looked O.K., and asked me
+to be sure and write to him when I got to
+England. Whether this was meant or not
+I do not know, but at any rate it was just the
+encouragement I needed. It was an anxious
+moment when everybody left the room with
+a final &#8220;Good luck,&#8221; and I heard the sentry
+approaching to make sure that nobody had
+been left behind. Previously I had determined<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_115" id="Page_115">[115]</a></span>
+not to watch the Hun, as my gaze
+might render him more liable to look in my
+direction. Now, under the stress of circumstances,
+this seemed a physical impossibility,
+and all good resolutions went to the winds.
+I glued one eye to the spy-hole and saw a
+German standing only a few feet away, with
+his back to me, puffing solemnly at a long
+pipe, a rifle slung over his shoulder. Almost
+immediately, as if in answer to my concentrated
+gaze, he turned and looked straight in
+my direction. I promptly shrivelled up to
+nothing, and developed acute suspended
+animation. I simply dared not breath, and
+felt as if my thoughts were becoming audible.
+My relief was indescribable when he turned
+away, and left in an ordinary manner.
+Though one crisis was over, the strain had
+been such that it took me several minutes to
+&#8220;defossilise&#8221; and grasp the fact that, somewhere
+in the dim distance, the chances of
+success were increasing.</p>
+
+<p>A few minutes later a N.C.O. came in,
+and searched about for soap. As he was
+pocketing some small bits left behind, my
+wall threatened to fall outwards, but I
+managed to hold it steady until he went
+away. A five-and-a-half hour wait lay in
+front of me, and, my prison being dark,
+stifling and hot, the time passed intolerably
+slowly. After waiting patiently for what I<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_116" id="Page_116">[116]</a></span>
+judged to be anything from half to three-quarters
+of an hour, I would glance at my
+watch, only to discover that, in reality, four or
+five minutes had passed. My primary success
+was evidently well known inside the camp,
+for most of the fellows taking their evening
+stroll cast anxious veiled glances in my
+direction, from the wrong side of the wire.</p>
+
+<p>It was with both pleasure and anxiety that
+I watched the darkness slowly closing in,
+though I felt inclined to disbelieve that
+&#8220;Time and tide wait for no man.&#8221; Half-past
+ten did eventually arrive, and with it the now
+unwelcome time for action. Slowly, and with
+infinite caution, I stepped out into the room,
+and replaced the wall to give some one else
+a chance later on. Most of my kit was in
+the stove, and, as there were no fire-irons
+about, considerable noise was made lifting
+the iron top and extracting the contents with
+my fingers. Everything was now squashed
+into a sort of pack, and I approached the
+window on tip-toe. Within the camp all was
+quiet, but there, just outside, passing and
+repassing on his beat, often not ten yards
+away, was a particularly young and active
+German sentry, stepping quietly, with an
+elastic tread. He held his rifle in his hands,
+and gazed intently into the camp, as if
+expecting some shooting practice. When he
+reached the end of his short beat, I opened<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_117" id="Page_117">[117]</a></span>
+the door with many misgivings, and crept
+along a passage to the back of the hut.
+Entering the empty wash-room, I saw that
+my information had been correct, the windows
+were not barred. In an adjoining room
+several Huns were settling down for the night,
+their light showing under the door.</p>
+
+<p>I had almost reached the nearest window
+when, with a most appalling crash, I overturned
+an empty bucket in the dark. Listening
+an instant, I heard surprised voices and
+waited for no further developments, but, coat,
+pack and all, jumped through the half-open
+window and fell into a ditch below. Struggling
+up and tripping over another wire, I
+landed in another ditch. After leaving this
+my way lay beyond the shadow of the hut
+across a cultivated patch of moor, planted
+with potatoes, which was illuminated by the
+arc lamps. I covered this in record time,
+everything rattling and seeming to make a
+most deafening noise, as though all the devils
+in Hell were after me with red-hot pitchforks,
+expecting to hear a bullet whistle by
+every moment. However, nothing happened,
+and when several hundred yards away,
+I halted for about ten minutes to listen for
+the bugle sounding the alarm. It would
+have been some satisfaction to know that the
+camp was buzzing like a bee-hive, and all on
+my account! But, owing to the clever way<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_118" id="Page_118">[118]</a></span>
+in which my room mates worked it, my
+absence was not noticed, and so this pleasure
+was denied me.</p>
+
+<p>I shouldered my heavy pack and started
+out over the heather in the direction indicated
+by the stars. The greatest obstacles were
+the peat bogs, into which I often sank knee-deep,
+and had to crawl out. After about
+two hours rough walking, I was lying among
+the heather resting, when I was startled by
+a slight noise like the rattle of a chain.
+Looking up quickly as the moon came out
+from behind a cloud, I saw a dark shape,
+which seemed to move considerably closer
+and a little to the left, as I watched. A
+general survey of my position was not
+reassuring, for, in the light, I could distinctly
+see half-a-dozen more dark forms situated
+on my front and sides at regular intervals,
+mostly in a crouching position. Instantly I
+thought that somehow I had been traced by
+dogs, and that these were sentries. Knowing
+the gentle way in which the inmates of this
+camp were treated, I must confess that I was
+very scared. I had not even a stick; besides,
+one could wish for a more congenial meeting-place
+to accost gentlemen of this sort than a
+lonely moor at midnight. Behind me was a
+long cutting, filled with dark water, from
+which peat had been taken; into this I
+cautiously slid up to my shoulders, and waited<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_119" id="Page_119">[119]</a></span>
+developments. Nothing happened, and, as
+I became colder and colder, I began to think
+that, after all, I had been mistaken. Was it
+possible that they were only heaps of peat?
+At last I summoned up enough courage to
+crawl out and approach one of the mysterious
+forms. Still nothing happened, and my
+confidence increased considerably. I had
+only gone a few yards when I saw that it
+was actually only a heap of peat with a large
+piece lying near the top which protruded
+sideways, this having formed the supposed
+sentry&#8217;s head. Even then I did not feel quite
+convinced until I administered a hard kick
+and there was no retaliation.</p>
+
+<p>During the night I passed several villages,
+and once found myself among a lot of small
+apple trees, which I shook violently. Down
+tumbled some unripe fruit. It did not take
+long to fill my pockets and clear off at full
+speed. Towards morning I lost sight of the
+camp lights, and, entering a small fir plantation,
+arranged a good hiding-place and soon
+fell asleep. In less than an hour I awoke in
+a soaking condition, and sat up with a start,
+the only result being that the movement
+shook the fir branches over my head, and a
+shower-bath ensued. The next day I enjoyed
+five thunderstorms! No sooner had
+one passed over than another came up. My
+home-made tent, a large sheet of green oilsilk,<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_120" id="Page_120">[120]</a></span>
+smuggled from home, kept off a good
+deal of the rain, but, nevertheless, I had a
+good opportunity of studying the condition
+of a half-drowned rat. In spite of the wet
+and the presence of some large wood-ants,
+I rather enjoyed the sour apples, the first I
+had tasted that summer. Once during the
+afternoon a red squirrel came jumping over
+the fir needles, and looked up impudently
+into my face. The sight of so much ugliness
+almost overcame him, but he managed to
+scamper off at a good speed. I tried hard to
+attract this, my only friend, by pretending
+to be Hiawatha, and calling him an
+&#8220;<i>Adjidaumo</i>,&#8221; but this only hurried his
+retreat.</p>
+
+<p>My food consisted mostly of chocolate and
+biscuits, though, for the first three days, I
+did not feel at all hungry. Water was very
+scarce, but I received more than my share a
+few days later. The third night, leaving the
+moon behind, I climbed over a barbed wire
+fence, and found myself among a lot of large
+and boney black-and-white Holstein cattle.
+Murmuring soft German words of endearment,
+I approached the nearest cow in the
+hope of obtaining some milk. However,
+these good creatures, thinking it a most
+unusual milking hour, were not having any,
+and showed their disapproval of my conduct
+by careering madly round the field, making<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_121" id="Page_121">[121]</a></span>
+a fiendish noise, which caused the author of
+the disturbance to take to his heels for fear
+of discovery. A little later I changed my
+tactics. After stealing several luscious
+apples, I presented them to another walking
+milk-tank. The creature had a softer heart,
+and succumbed to the temptation. Everything
+went according to plan, for, while she
+munched the apple contentedly, I proceeded
+to fill a large tin mug several times over. I
+tramped for ten nights, and only missed my
+milk three times. Another night, passing in
+front of a farm-house, I came upon a full
+milk-can standing by a gate; the contents not
+only filled my water bottle, but even satisfied
+me.</p>
+
+<p>One morning, after an unusually long
+march, I flopped down and went to sleep in
+an overgrown ditch, surrounded by gorse and
+broom. The sun was just rising when I
+awoke with the idea that I was lying on a bed
+of pins. The idea grew to a firm conviction
+when an involuntary movement of mine
+considerably increased my discomfort. As
+I lay trying to solve the problem in a semi-conscious
+condition, the solution ran across
+my face; it seemed to have a great many
+legs. As my fingers closed round it I
+received another violent pin-prick, but held
+on manfully and, with an effort, forced myself
+to look at my prey. It was a gigantic angry<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_122" id="Page_122">[122]</a></span>
+wood-ant, which hung on to my finger for all
+it was worth. Considering the two things
+which terrify me most are ants and centipedes,
+perhaps the reader will understand my
+perturbed state of mind when I found myself
+lying beside a large ants&#8217; nest, being slowly
+devoured by its inhabitants, like a fat green
+caterpillar. As if propelled by a rocket I
+sprang up, and ran up and down the short
+ditch at full speed. When fatigue had
+brought me to a stop I was delighted to find
+that they had mostly been shaken off out of
+my clothes. It was impossible to find a
+resting place free from ants, the whole place
+was infested with them. In my efforts to
+avoid them I climbed to the top of a thick
+pine tree, but even there my little friends
+were parading along the branches. The
+day proved to be so hot and thundery that,
+before twelve o&#8217;clock, the milk in my bottle
+turned solid and had to be eaten like junket.
+It was with great satisfaction that I watched
+the darkness setting in, for, under its protection,
+I was enabled to leave the unholy
+spot and continue my nightly travels.</p>
+
+<p>One of the things which had troubled me
+considerably when planning my escape was
+how to reset my watch should it go wrong.
+As it was, the village clocks kept me well
+informed by striking the hour with much
+vigour. The next day, as I lay hidden at<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_123" id="Page_123">[123]</a></span>
+the edge of a very young plantation, a party
+of labourers with scythes assembled not far
+away. After leaving their coats and, presumably,
+their provisions behind, they proceeded
+to cut the grass along the edge of
+the plantation and in a neighbouring field.
+As I lay &#8220;doggo&#8221; I formulated many plans
+for stealing their food to replenish my store,
+but finally decided that the risk was too
+great. Only once did I think that I had
+been discovered, for, as I was passing my time
+in a wood by carving a souvenir stick, something
+burst close beside me, making quite a
+commotion and breaking many twigs. Just
+before the branches closed I caught sight of
+a fluffy white tail. After all it was only a
+frightened deer.</p>
+
+<p>Late on the sixth night I was walking fast
+along the side of a road which led through a
+forest when, stopping an instant to listen,
+I heard a low voice shout about forty yards
+in front. Then some one approached with a
+previously concealed lantern. Instantly I
+jumped over the ditch, hoping to get away
+under the trees unnoticed. Unfortunately,
+I landed on some dry twigs, which crackled
+at every step and betrayed my presence.
+Remembering the deer incident, I emitted
+a loud, coughing bark, such as those animals
+make, and crashed through the undergrowth,
+making as much noise as possible. To my<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_124" id="Page_124">[124]</a></span>
+relief I saw that the man with the lantern
+turned back to his post to rejoin his companion&mdash;presumably
+the ruse succeeded.
+It was just as well I was not caught here, for
+now I have reason to believe that I was close
+to an important aerodrome, and that this was
+a guard&mdash;possibly against espionage.</p>
+
+<p>The distance covered was, roughly, a
+hundred and sixty miles, and, during the
+whole period, only once did I recognise the
+name of a small town on a milestone, which
+told me I was going in the right direction.
+The fact of having no one to talk to for so
+many days, combined with the uncertainty
+of it all, had the most depressing influence.
+While waiting for the long days to pass,
+killing countless mosquitoes, I frequently
+wondered if the stars could be purposely
+leading me in the wrong direction, or if peace
+had been declared, and I was on an unnecessarily
+tiring walking tour. As I was approaching
+a busy railway, I frequently
+heard thuds and crashes, or, if the wind was
+steady, a faint roar, which, I afterwards
+found, was caused by the continued traffic
+and shunting of trucks. This troubled me
+quite a lot, for it sounded exactly like an
+intermittent bombardment, and not infrequently
+increased in volume, until I am
+convinced an old soldier would have sworn
+it was a distant barrage. I pictured my<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_125" id="Page_125">[125]</a></span>
+arrival at the frontier only to learn that
+Holland had decided to be in the fashion, and
+was therefore running a little war on her
+own, on the popular Bolshevik excuse of
+upholding the cause of democracy. The
+only thing left for me to do would have been
+to have turned about and, after many trials
+and hardships, succeed in getting into
+Switzerland, where Fate, with a smile on her
+face, would probably have arranged to have
+me shot by accident while on my way
+through Zurich, during the subsequent riots.</p>
+
+<p>Our &#8220;<i>moutons</i>&#8221; in the meantime, have
+been straying badly; it is, therefore, our
+duty to leave dreams to take care of themselves,
+and return to the subject without more
+ado. When I had been on the loose for a
+week the country became very flat and
+sodden&mdash;water was everywhere. Most of
+the roads were banked up to guard against
+flood, while all ditches were transformed into
+small canals. Trees became scarcer and,
+consequently, the daily problem of finding
+effectual cover increased in difficulty. Nearly
+all the seventh night I followed a tow-path
+at the side of an important canal, which led
+in a northerly direction. Innumerable movable
+bridges, traversing the lesser waterways
+which flowed into the big canal, had to be
+crossed. This procedure was more alarming
+than one might suppose, as the frail bridges<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_126" id="Page_126">[126]</a></span>
+shook at the slightest touch, and also advertised
+my crossing to the inmates of the usual
+adjoining lodge by magnifying every little
+sound. Most of the way, moored at the
+water&#8217;s edge, were barges laden with peat,
+containing all sorts of dogs; in fact, in several
+instances they seemed to be veritable floating
+dogs&#8217; homes. These creatures barked as if
+paid to, and were usually sympathetically
+answered by dogs some distance in advance,
+thus inadvertently proclaiming the news of
+my arrival. Once two men came out of a
+cottage twenty yards ahead, and, stopping
+in the path, turned round and watched me
+approaching. That time I really thought
+the game was up. It was absolutely essential
+to maintain a bold exterior, despite the fact
+that my breathing apparatus almost ceased
+to work. Slouching quickly along, I whistled
+a bar or two of &#8220;P&uuml;ppchen.&#8221; Curiously
+enough my presence at that time of night
+created no suspicion, for I passed them without
+being spoken to. Before taking a road
+leading to the west, I sat down and dissolved
+my last Oxo cube in a mug of cold, greenish
+canal water. The meal is prepared as
+follows: First suck your middle finger until
+it tastes clean, then stir the Oxo until it is
+dissolved (this usually takes about half an
+hour). Before drinking the concoction it is
+necessary to remove any dead fishes that may<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_127" id="Page_127">[127]</a></span>
+be floating on the surface, and also make
+certain that none of the Oxo is wasted by
+remaining underneath the finger nails.</p>
+
+<p>At intervals I was very gratified to see that
+the sky, to the north and north-east, was
+illuminated by distant searchlights. As
+several naval bases lay in that direction, it
+is reasonable to suppose that the Huns were
+expecting a visit from our airmen. After
+following the road for over an hour, I procured
+some excellent apples at a wayside
+farm-house, and beat a hasty retreat. As
+time wore on and the milk carts began rumbling
+on their rounds, I quickened my pace and
+commenced a desperate search for cover.
+Leaving the road, I headed across the fields,
+and after jumping, or falling into, several
+flooded ditches, came to an overgrown marsh.
+A few yards from <i>terra firma</i> was a large
+sallow bush, growing on a tiny island. After
+getting thoroughly wet, I succeeded in crawling
+on to this and screening my headquarters
+from prying eyes with green rushes. As it
+became lighter, I heard occasional voices and
+peculiar creakings, the cause of which I
+could not interpret, and might well render
+my position unsafe. The anxiety was increased
+when a large, dark shadow loomed
+out of the fog and threatened to completely
+swallow my little island. All at once the
+curling white mist drifted away, and everything<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_128" id="Page_128">[128]</a></span>
+was explained in an instant. The
+terrifying shadow resolved itself into the great
+red-brown sail of a passing barge. I was
+lying close beside the tow-path of a canal.
+Just as the sun had risen over the trees and
+the mists were beginning to disperse and float
+upwards, another noise attracted my attention,
+which developed into a deep throbbing
+roar. Looking up, I saw three large
+&#8220;Zepps,&#8221; flying low, and rolling slightly in
+the stiff morning breeze, returning to their
+lair after a strenuous night out. As they
+passed over the school-children in a neighbouring
+village cheered excitedly.</p>
+
+<p>Except for the usual mosquito bites and
+inability to sleep, the day passed uneventfully.
+When darkness fell and all was quiet
+again, I once more saddled up and started out,
+this time earnestly hoping, yet fearing, to
+reach the river Ems, which had to be swum
+whatever happened. About midnight I came
+to something concrete at last&mdash;a long-expected
+railway. After a short reconnaissance,
+I crossed this, and made my way over
+the fields towards the all-important river,
+which flowed parallel to the frontier and
+about twenty kilos away from it. Every
+few yards I came to a dyke, which always
+had to be passed through if the direction
+was to be kept. It was an odious experience,
+for, no sooner did I emerge dripping from<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_129" id="Page_129">[129]</a></span>
+one than it was time to enter the next.
+About three o&#8217;clock, after milking several
+cows and swimming a few small canals, I
+passed through some open flood-gates, built
+in a grass ridge made to keep the water from
+encroaching on the low-lying farms, and came
+upon a most disheartening sight. Beyond
+several hundred yards of dangerous marsh
+flowed the river, looking very white in the
+deceptive light of early morning. The wavelets
+formed by the steady wind and the
+current were making a faint, but disconcerting,
+noise. Though it was only just possible
+to discern the opposite bank, there seemed to
+be a similar line of marshy ground between
+it and the water&#8217;s edge. I determined to see
+if it was possible to get through the marsh
+with any degree of safety, but gave up the
+idea when some of the old decayed reeds on
+which I was standing suddenly gave way and
+let me through into the water up to my
+waist. No matter how good a swimmer, a
+reedy swamp is more than one can contend
+with, therefore I gave up the idea. Crawling
+out and walking a little way along the bank,
+something loomed up in front of me out of
+the darkness, which turned out to be a long
+iron bridge. Looking cautiously along it,
+I saw a couple of dim lights burning near the
+other side. What an easy way over; how
+I should have loved to stroll across; but it<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_130" id="Page_130">[130]</a></span>
+could not be, for a German guard was waiting
+there to receive me with open arms. Reluctantly
+I turned away and struck inland,
+intending to travel parallel to the river for
+some distance and then try my luck at
+another place. Shortly afterwards, when
+tramping along on the grass at the side of a
+road in search of a hiding-place, I heard footsteps
+approaching. At either side of the road
+grew a row of young trees, but, unfortunately,
+the trunks were not large enough to hide
+behind. The conditions were such as to
+render discovery inevitable should a hasty
+retirement be effected. For several precious
+seconds I stood paralysed with indecision,
+seeing my danger, yet unable to avoid it;
+meanwhile it seemed that cruel fate was carelessly
+deciding my destiny, weighing freedom
+against captivity in a balance, which my indecision
+was slowly causing to turn against
+me. For a brief period my brain refused to
+work, except vaguely to bring to my notice
+a few lines from &#8220;Eldorado,&#8221; which affirm
+that there exists a loophole of escape in every
+difficult situation. This seemed to affect
+my present critical position, though it in
+no wise suggested a course of action.</p>
+
+<p>As I looked at the dyke which ran along at
+the side of the raised road, calculating that
+the noise made by a passage through it would
+only lead to detection, I clearly remembered<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_131" id="Page_131">[131]</a></span>
+an incident in &#8220;Lorna Doone,&#8221; in which
+John Ridd, when a boy, had completely
+avoided discovery by his enemy (Carver
+Doone) by submerging himself in a stream
+and breathing through a straw. Without
+waiting to remove the pack, I followed his
+example by throwing myself on my face and
+crawling backwards on to the tangled reeds,
+which parted with a squelch and let me
+through into the stagnant water. The dyke
+proved to be deeper than I expected. My
+feet barely touched the bottom, so that I was
+literally clutching a straw to keep myself up.
+As the footsteps passed I kept my face and
+head under the surface, and trusted to
+Providence. When all the sounds died away,
+it took me some time struggling with mud,
+weeds and water, before I could extricate
+myself from that confounded ditch. I do
+not make a good water-rat; I would therefore
+suggest to the German authorities that they
+should train water spaniels, and not police
+dogs, for pursuit of prisoners in the future.</p>
+
+<p>I had only been walking for a little while
+when the distant rumble of a milk-cart
+reminded me that it was past time to hibernate.
+Then began the usual desperate search
+for cover. It became lighter and lighter,
+and, just as the mist was about to rise, I saw
+the faint outline of a clump of trees several
+hundred yards away. Plunging through<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_132" id="Page_132">[132]</a></span>
+more dykes I arrived at the trees, only to
+find that they were growing in a small garden
+and orchard which surrounded a large farm-house.
+As no one appeared to be stirring,
+and the discovery of an immediate hiding-place
+was essential, I commenced explorations.
+The privet hedge surrounding this
+oasis proved to be very thin and there were
+no convenient little bushes. I had just
+borrowed a good supply of apples from mine
+host, and had almost decided to seek shelter
+in an outhouse as a last resource, when I came
+upon a fair-sized heap of sticks, over which a
+hop plant sprawled, forming a straggly green
+covering. There being no better place, I
+decided that the hop would have to serve
+as my headquarters for that day. I was
+just moving some of the sticks when something
+caused me to remember the lateness
+of the hour. From a pigsty a few yards
+away came expectant squeals. The occupants
+doubtless imagined that I was arriving
+with their breakfast. As I was getting ready
+to crawl into the sticks, I caught sight of a
+little patch of washing close by, lying spread
+on the grass at the corner of a small green
+lawn. When the good lady came for her
+washing she would, in all probability, discover
+me, which would never do, as it would
+lead to all kinds of little unpleasantnesses.
+In a very short space of time I had moved<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_133" id="Page_133">[133]</a></span>
+the white handkerchiefs and collars to
+another corner of the lawn, not far away,
+and returned to the heap. I was beginning
+to tunnel into the sticks, when I heard a
+man&#8217;s voice, followed by the clatter of milk
+cans. Diving into the small hole already
+made, I wriggled for all I was worth towards
+the centre, dragging the pack after me. It
+sounds quite simple; all you have to do is to
+wriggle; but, in reality, it is surprisingly
+difficult. When I tried to force an entrance
+every dead bough in the heap seemed to
+break with an ear-splitting crash, while all
+the smaller twigs crackled in chorus. The
+most peaceable sticks developed sharp spikes,
+which stuck into me. Even when I had
+removed a particularly objectionable one
+barring the way, another would shoot out
+and grasp my pack, causing an additional
+delay. Eventually, in a scratched and weary
+condition, I got under the centre of the heap,
+where I lay feeling none too secure. Although
+I was forced to keep still for fear of
+attracting attention, I managed to nibble the
+stolen apples and take stock of my surroundings.
+The light shone through the pale
+green hop leaves, revealing many hairy
+caterpillars, incessantly gorging. Inside the
+heap lived innumerable spiders and other
+horrors. These believed in making their
+presence felt when I did not deign to notice<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_134" id="Page_134">[134]</a></span>
+them. It was a very uncomfortable procedure,
+drying slowly in a cold wind. Once,
+when the leaves blew on one side, I caught a
+glimpse of a pear tree swaying overhead,
+and a dark, forbidding sky in the background.
+That day I enjoyed two heavy thunderstorms.
+At first the leaves kept off most of
+the rain, but it soon battered down with such
+violence that the former became limp and
+hung down, leaving me almost exposed.
+Everything became saturated. A steady
+stream of water poured off the sticks and ran
+down my neck, while the insects eagerly
+sought shelter in my clothing. When the
+first storm was over, and I lay shivering in
+the bright interval, two children came out
+of the house and played about in the garden,
+running several times round and round my
+heap. It was such a strain lying absolutely
+still that I almost welcomed the second
+thunderstorm, though it completely soaked
+everything that the first one had overlooked.
+Never in my life have I passed such an
+uncomfortable day. But, in the end, discomfort
+is preferable to actual danger in an
+adventure of this sort. At least so I thought
+in those days. As it is beyond me to
+convey to the reader any adequate idea of
+the unwillingness of the minutes to resolve
+themselves into hours, I will not attempt the
+impossible. Towards evening some one fired<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_135" id="Page_135">[135]</a></span>
+a shot-gun just beyond the privet hedge.
+Naturally the explosion caused me to jump,
+but that was nothing to the fright I experienced
+when it struck me that it might be a
+small boy out rat shooting, as vermin always
+run to a conveniently close heap of sticks
+for shelter. However, the person did not
+come my way, and in any case it is probable
+he was only after wild duck, which frequent
+most of the dykes. At last, when I could
+stand it no longer, I scrambled out into the
+dusk, guiltily ignoring the fact that I was
+running an unnecessary risk by starting on
+the war-path an hour too soon.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_136" id="Page_136">[136]</a></span></p>
+
+
+
+<h2><a name="CHAPTER_X" id="CHAPTER_X"></a>CHAPTER X</h2>
+
+<h4>THE EMS</h4>
+
+
+<p><span class="smcap"><big>T</big>here</span> was no one about, so, after enjoying
+a good stretch, I pushed through the privet,
+jumped a narrow dyke, and started out over
+the low-lying fields towards the high grassy
+barrier which advertised the approach to the
+dreaded river. It was almost dark when I
+came to another portion of the winding,
+snake-like barrier, which curved out as if to
+meet me. Approaching it, I found that a
+thick and apparently endless prickly May
+hedge grew along the base. Getting through
+it proved to be such a painful proceeding that
+it seems probable that as soon as the hedge
+saw an Englishman coming towards it, it
+sharpened its claws and resolved to defend
+the way to the frontier to the last thorn.
+Of course I may be wrong in my surmise,
+but I well remember that, when I began
+extracting thorns afterwards, it was like
+plucking a pin-cushion. Crawling on hands
+and knees up the slippery grassy slope, I soon
+arrived at the top and, scrambling to my feet,<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_137" id="Page_137">[137]</a></span>
+looked eagerly towards the unknown West.
+The grassy barrier rose to an even height of
+about thirty feet above the low-lying country.
+On one side, the nearer dykes dividing the
+fields showed up a dull white in the semi-darkness;
+while on the other, beyond a
+narrow fringe of swaying reed-grass, ran the
+broad dark river. Although a steady wind
+was blowing, it was not quite as strong as on
+the previous night, the noise of the ripples
+breaking on the shore not being so pronounced.
+As I had not been dry for several
+days, the prospect of a prolonged bathe was
+not at all alluring. The longer I looked
+towards the opposite bank the more distant
+it appeared to be, and the greater became the
+width and volume of the river, until it seemed
+to be quite impassable. Hesitation meant
+failure, so, running down to the water&#8217;s edge,
+I began to undress quickly. All at once it
+struck me that it would be foolish to wrap
+all my earthly belongings in one bundle, for,
+should it come to grief on the way over, I
+should have a decidedly cool time of it
+after my arrival at the other bank of the
+river.</p>
+
+<p>Besides, it would be most undignified to be
+compelled to walk up to a German sentry and
+address him thus: &#8220;Please, sir, I am suffering
+from loss of memory and seem to have
+mislaid my clothes; would you be good<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_138" id="Page_138">[138]</a></span>
+enough to supply me with a few, as fig trees
+do not abound in these parts?&#8221;</p>
+
+<p>Therefore, spreading my sodden waterproof
+on the ground, I deposited in it my
+tunic, shoes and now half-empty pack.
+Stuffing all the vacant space tightly with
+grass, I secured the corners by binding them
+together with my braces and bits of torn
+handkerchief. To complete the operation,
+I fastened my souvenir walking-stick (which,
+though large and clumsy, was exceedingly
+precious) to the bottom of the bundle in order
+to improve its floating capacities. Passing
+through the thin edging of reed-grass, I
+stepped into the shallow water and felt my
+feet sink into the deep mud, which gurgled
+hungrily and sent little lines of bubbles up
+to the surface. In a few strides I was out
+of my depth and amid the swirling eddies,
+which sought to drag me off down stream.</p>
+
+<p>Fortunately the water was warm and the
+bundle floated well. Considering the fact
+that I had already been tramping for eight
+days on short rations, it is not surprising that
+I found swimming against a steady wind to
+be very tiring. I kept the bundle well ahead
+by giving it a good push every few strokes,
+when I overtook it. After swimming for
+several minutes, I unconsciously changed
+my direction a little, at the same time giving
+the bundle another push ahead. At this<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_139" id="Page_139">[139]</a></span>
+part the river curved slightly, and the result
+was that the wind caught my worldly belongings
+and whirled them off down stream.
+Signalling to the engine-room for full speed
+ahead, I dashed off in pursuit, soon overtaking
+the runaway bundle. By this time,
+being very out of breath, I hung on to it,
+and was delighted to find that it would
+practically support me. I had been swimming
+for some little time and it seemed
+probable that my objective would not be far
+away, so, looking up at the stars and noting
+where the west lay, I raised myself in the
+water and looked for the opposite bank.
+Curiously enough, it seemed almost as far
+distant as it had been at first. Instinctively
+I looked back, and there, only a little way
+behind me, was the shore I had just left.
+I must admit that the sight was not encouraging.
+Well&mdash;hanging on to a waterlogged
+bundle and swallowing tadpoles
+would not help matters, so I settled down
+to business, swimming steadily on my side,
+but often changing the stroke, and heading
+a little up-stream to counteract the force of
+the current.</p>
+
+<p>Ever so gradually the water became
+calmer and the shore more clearly defined,
+until I could see a fringe of weeds similar to
+the one I had left. Vaguely I wondered if
+it would be really worth the extra effort<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_140" id="Page_140">[140]</a></span>
+required to actually reach it. It seemed so
+easy to give up. Just as I felt my remaining
+strength slipping away at each stroke I
+touched some soft warm mud. Mud as a
+rule does not have a stimulating effect on one,
+but then the very touch of it put new life
+into me. Dragging my bundle, I made a
+final effort to get ashore, but fell in the
+shallow water, where I lay utterly exhausted,
+hardly conscious of my surroundings, my
+head sinking gradually lower and lower. It
+must have been the objectionable taste of the
+muddy water which brought me to my senses
+sufficiently to enable me to leave the river
+for a more congenial resting place, namely,
+some grass at the edge of a field. When at
+last I got up, feeling very cold, and untied
+the bundle I found that everything was
+absolutely soaking. Assuredly there are
+many more enjoyable pastimes than putting
+on wet clothes in a cold wind in the dark.</p>
+
+<p>When everything was ready for the night&#8217;s
+tramp, I discovered that my cap was missing,
+and after a short fruitless search, decided to
+leave it behind. Tired, shivering, and hatless,
+I started off into the West, reckoning that
+now the frontier could not be much more
+than a night&#8217;s march away. No sooner had
+I crossed the little stubble field than I came
+to a ridge, beyond which the ground dropped
+several feet in a steep slope. As I moved<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_141" id="Page_141">[141]</a></span>
+down this incline towards what appeared to
+be a hedge, the ground became quite wet.
+Suspiciously I looked ahead into the darkness
+towards what seemed to be only an
+expanse of lower ground. Near the hedge
+the water rose over my ankles, but I forged
+on, determined to know the worst. I was
+not long in suspense, for the hedge in front
+rustled (a thing that well-trained hedges do
+not do), and I knew that it was another long
+line of high reed-grass. Fearfully I parted
+this with my hands, and there, in front, lay
+a rippling sheet of water, fully as wide as the
+river I had just crossed. With a thump my
+heart went down into my boots, and the little
+devil of despair whispered that I must be
+near the mouth of the river, on an island,
+a prisoner of my own making. (In truth, this
+was very nearly the case, for, as I feared, I
+was very far north, this accounting for the
+volume and width of the river.) This stretch
+of water was totally unexpected. Had I
+been fresh and known my whereabouts, it
+would have formed a formidable enough
+obstacle; as it was, I had already done more
+than my share of bathing for that night, and
+knew that I was in a totally unfit condition
+to attempt another long-distance swim.</p>
+
+<p>Obviously the first thing to be done was
+to make certain that I was indeed on an
+island, so I proceeded to take stock of my<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_142" id="Page_142">[142]</a></span>
+surroundings. I noticed that, except for the
+rough patches on the water which caught the
+wind, the surface was comparatively smooth,
+and there was no sign of a current. Walking
+a few yards to the right, I saw that the line
+of the old river and this strip of unknown
+water converged, leaving little hope in that
+direction. I therefore turned about, and
+started off to my left front. Evidence that
+the cereal crop had been carted quite recently
+was plentiful, for there was short,
+fresh stubble, cart tracks, and the impression
+of horses&#8217; hoofs. This pointed to the encouraging
+fact that I was not on an island,
+horses and carts not usually being transported
+by barge or aeroplane. I had not
+followed the tracks for more than fifty yards
+when they turned straight towards the
+water. The next minute I barely stifled a
+yell of delight, for there, staring me in the
+face, was a sort of pontoon bridge, stretching
+away into the darkness. On closer inspection,
+I found it to be composed of bundles
+of brushwood which were held together in
+some mysterious manner, and appeared to
+lie on the water. The surface of the bridge
+was in very bad repair and, as some of the
+top bundles of sticks were missing or pointing
+upwards at an angle, progress was very slow;
+but, sometimes walking, sometimes crawling,
+I got along at quite a good pace. Once it<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_143" id="Page_143">[143]</a></span>
+seemed that I should have to swim a short
+distance, but I found it to be unnecessary, as
+only the top layer of the bundles was missing.
+Nearing the other side, I made out a factory
+building of some sort, with a high chimney,
+a little way from the end of the bridge, and
+heard the occasional bark of a watch-dog.
+Try as I would, I could not move an inch
+without causing a number of sticks to crackle
+loudly&mdash;it was almost as bad as crawling
+under the heap of sticks the morning before.
+Fortunately the wind must have drowned
+any noise made, or carried the sound away,
+for, though the dog continued to bark intermittently,
+it cannot have been aware of my
+presence.</p>
+
+<p>Skirting the factory, I went across country,
+avoiding roads and houses like poison. The
+land was very low and flat and the dykes
+very numerous, sometimes whole fields being
+practically inundated. The only things that
+tended to relieve the monotony were the
+solitary gaunt willow trees, most of them
+mere shells of their former selves, which
+stood out from the misty darkness, black and
+threatening, like grim sentinels.</p>
+
+<p>Everywhere was water, water, water.
+Every few seconds I was up to my waist in
+it. Often I tried to jump a narrow dyke and
+misjudged the distance, or got a bad &#8220;take
+off,&#8221; owing to the softness of the ground;<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_144" id="Page_144">[144]</a></span>
+this usually resulted in my falling with a
+splash into the middle. I think the most
+aggravating thing of all was to make a really
+good jump and land on the other side, just
+beyond the water-line, on all fours, only to
+find that I had not enough impetus to remain
+there, as the ground was sloping. Sometimes
+I was able to save myself by jabbing my stick
+into the ground, though, more often than
+not, this was impracticable, and my hands
+could find nothing firmer to catch hold of
+than a few tufts of grass, which almost
+invariably gave way, causing me to do a
+graceful but involuntary backward dive
+into the dyke. As constant exercise of this
+sort is very tiring and the weight of water
+contained in one&#8217;s clothes greatly hinders
+freedom of action, my progress was necessarily
+rather slower than usual. A little after
+midnight the ground became harder, and I
+soon found myself once more on a moor,
+wandering along a narrow sandy track,
+among deep heather and broom bushes.
+Just as I was getting a little drier and it
+seemed as if the watery nightmare was over,
+I ran into a series of peat bogs, many of them
+more dangerous than those I had encountered
+my first night out.</p>
+
+<p>I found the best way to cross a narrow strip
+of marsh was to make a rush to the firm
+ground, as these tactics did not allow enough<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_145" id="Page_145">[145]</a></span>
+time for my feet to sink in very far. Once
+the little track I was cautiously following
+ended abruptly at the edge of a particularly
+watery-looking bog, which not only barred
+my way in front, but also curved round on
+both flanks. In order to avoid this <i>cul-de-sac</i>
+it would have been necessary to make a wide
+detour, the accomplishment of which would
+have involved the wasting of much valuable
+time. Selecting a point where this strip of
+marshy ground appeared to be the narrowest,
+I retreated a few steps, gathered myself
+together, and, after a short run, attempted
+to take the bog by surprise and get across
+before it was quite ready to receive me.
+Wallowing towards the other side, I felt my
+feet sinking deeply into the decayed peaty
+moss, which gurgled expectantly. I was
+almost over when suddenly, in a second, I
+sank almost to my waist. Immediately
+throwing myself on my face, I scrambled
+forward, and digging my stick into the firm
+ground in front, pulled for all I was worth.
+I was almost free when my poor stick broke
+off with a resounding crack, leaving the top
+half in my hands. This I again drove into
+the firm ground, and with a final effort, drew
+myself out. After a short rest, during which
+I mourned the loss of my beloved stick, I
+went on my way determined not to risk a
+passage over any deceitful bogs in the future<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_146" id="Page_146">[146]</a></span>
+unless it was absolutely unavoidable. Very
+soon the heather became scarcer, and once
+again I was among dykes and flat, misty,
+green fields.</p>
+
+<p>For the next two or three hours I ploughed
+along towards the west, climbing over
+barbed-wire fences and wading through
+dykes, unless I was lucky enough to find a
+plank or small bridge spanning the latter.
+Scarcely perceptibly the darkness of the
+eastern sky changed to a dull cold grey and
+the landscape became clearer, revealing the
+bare motionless arms of several windmills
+stretching out into the clearer air, some
+distance away, in different directions. I
+roughly judged that I could not be far from
+the frontier. I might even have crossed it!
+Though I did my best to suppress undue
+optimism, this last rather improbable idea
+persisted in occupying my thoughts. It is
+true I had seen nothing recently on the way
+to arouse suspicion, but, owing to the marshy
+nature of the country, the guards might well
+be few and far between. The spirit of
+approaching dawn lent a faint tinge of
+colour to the lonely sweeps of white mist
+drifting slowly above the flat dark fields, and,
+settling down over the dykes, it commenced
+to unravel and piece together the ghostly
+confusion of dim blurred shadows and
+grossly exaggerated reflections crowding on<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_147" id="Page_147">[147]</a></span>
+the smooth, oily surface of the water, until
+they began to assume a definite shape. I
+could almost imagine that I was gazing at
+one of Tingue&#8217;s early-morning landscapes, so
+unmistakably Dutch was the scene. Having
+got thus far no speculations of any sort could
+be indulged in, the price of uncertainty being
+too great. A distant village clock chimed
+four, each beat vibrating clearly in the still
+air. The crisis was at hand. Having successfully
+evaded capture during the eight
+preceding nights and days, the very thought
+of failure was unbearable, and compelled me
+to face the eternal problem of seeking
+adequate cover for the day at an earlier hour
+than usual. I therefore commenced a search
+without delay, experiencing the while, I am
+convinced, most of the alarming sensations
+felt by many fat, juicy worms who, having
+lost their burrows, are endeavouring to avoid
+contact with all marauding &#8220;early birds.&#8221;
+The first glance revealed not so much as a
+bush or hollow willow tree in the immediate
+vicinity, but in a few minutes I made out a
+number of heaps of some sort away to the
+right, through the semi-darkness, so went to
+make a closer inspection, only to find that
+two rather broader dykes than usual sought
+to bar the way. When on the march a
+prolonged wetting is naturally most unpleasant,
+though the continued motion tends<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_148" id="Page_148">[148]</a></span>
+to dry one&#8217;s clothes somewhat by shaking
+out much of the water. However, there
+being no alternative, I plunged into the first
+dyke, which proved to be quite deep, making
+it again necessary to swim a few strokes. I
+discovered a plank across the second one, and,
+passing over, found myself in a stubble field
+among a number of corn stooks. There being
+no better cover, I realised that I must hide
+in one of these little stacks, and chance my
+luck. The problem was to ascertain which
+part of the field was least likely to be overrun
+by people and dogs. A short inspection
+showed it to be very long and narrow, while
+several indications went to prove that the
+last of the crop had been cut near my original
+point of entry into the field; this was, therefore,
+the most desirable part to stay in, as
+it would naturally be the last to be carried.
+When people walk through a field they are
+most liable to wander along near the edges,
+or go through near the middle; consequently
+I chose a stook situated between the two, and
+about thirty yards distant from the end of the
+field. These heaps were rather too small
+to form a safe hiding-place, while an unusually
+large one would, in all probability,
+attract attention. It is reasonable to suppose
+that, should a general enlargement be
+effected embracing a number of stooks in
+one area, the result would be hardly noticeable.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_149" id="Page_149">[149]</a></span>
+Removing my pack and coat, I set to
+work transporting two oat sheaves from each
+of the stooks in the next row for a length of
+about fifty yards, and adding them to the
+row in which my nest was planned to be.
+To avoid suspicion, I made the now depleted
+stooks up to their usual strength by again
+borrowing the same number of sheaves from
+each of the heaps in the row still further
+beyond. After repeating this strenuous
+operation a number of times the desired
+effect was produced, most of the heaps in
+my corner of the field now being considerably
+larger than the rest. Surely it was a good
+omen that my fat sheaves had devoured many
+of their leaner brethren, even though the
+number was not restricted to seven, as in
+Pharaoh&#8217;s dream. The value of making
+oneself as comfortable as possible under
+adverse conditions cannot be over-estimated,
+for it not only stimulates the instinct of self-preservation,
+but renders one in the best
+condition to face the task ahead. Exposure
+and fatigue gradually wear down one&#8217;s
+powers of resistance and bring with them the
+feeling that nothing matters. This is to be
+avoided more than anything, for it introduces
+the personal element into all reasonings,
+often forcing a decision against one&#8217;s better
+judgment. Having chosen my special heap,
+I arranged it in such a way as to leave me<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_150" id="Page_150">[150]</a></span>
+as much room for movement as possible in
+the centre. As I exchanged the wetter
+sheaves for comparatively dry ones, the
+prospect of once again being warm was
+delightful and caused me to work with a will.
+Everything was almost completed, and I was
+just strewing a little dry straw on the ground
+between the sheaves, to serve as a mattress,
+when suddenly a man&#8217;s voice hailed me, in
+unmistakable German, from a distance of
+about fifty yards: &#8220;<i>Was machen sie da</i>?&#8221;
+(&#8220;What are you doing there?&#8221;). Any
+doubts as to which country I was in were
+rudely dispelled. For a moment I was completely
+at a loss for an answer, then, bending
+down, I seized the loose sheaf (which was to
+have acted as a door to my palace) and placed
+it against the others, and, turning round,
+replied in low German, &#8220;I am only replacing
+these, which have fallen down.&#8221;</p>
+
+<p>Two workmen were standing just beyond
+the dyke, having evidently approached by an
+unobserved track, and were now gazing
+suspiciously at me. There being no more
+prostrate sheaves, I could not very well
+throw some down and then pick them up
+again, for the action would not have been at
+all convincing. I therefore had to content
+myself with smoothing the side of the stook
+in a business-like way, trusting that the
+uncertain light would not disclose the insanity<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_151" id="Page_151">[151]</a></span>
+of my actions. In a few seconds I
+moved to another stook, and was commencing
+to stroke the sheaves, when the same voices
+demanded, in a peremptory manner, to know
+what I was really doing. It was a case of
+bluff, so, busying myself with the heap, I
+snapped out, &#8220;Ach! go away, I have a lot
+to do.&#8221; From the murmur that reached me
+it was obvious that this abrupt answer was
+puzzling them considerably. My position
+was still extremely unsafe, for border folk are
+usually of a very suspicious nature, which
+is intensified by the activities of war. At the
+best of times my excuse would have been
+feeble enough. Ordinary people don&#8217;t
+usually rise at four a.m. for the purpose of
+walking round a soaking field stroking
+sheaves of corn. Besides, it was not unlikely
+that I was talking to the owner of the
+field. Whether they saw the brass buttons
+on my service jacket, or merely felt that I
+was wanted, I do not know, but they walked
+quickly towards the plank spanning the dyke
+which divided their field from mine. Directly
+they reached it one of them shouted something
+that I could not understand and was
+immediately answered by a third person,
+away in the mist. Once across the plank the
+men, after jabbering excitedly, came towards
+me at a quick run. Needless to say, it is
+extremely dangerous to be chased in bare<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_152" id="Page_152">[152]</a></span>
+country of this sort just when the day is
+breaking and the fields rapidly filling with
+workers, for once the alarm is raised the result
+is almost certain to mean capture. This
+time, however, it was not a matter of choice;
+my hand had been forced, compelling me
+reluctantly to play my last card. Picking
+up my pack and coat, I ran as only once
+before in my varied career&mdash;the night when
+I almost felt the pitchforks belonging to the
+little devils which chased me away from
+Str&ouml;hen camp. After running about a
+hundred yards, trusting to the mist and uncertain
+light to partially screen my movements,
+I turned aside and dived headlong
+into a stook, pulling the straw after me. In
+a few seconds my pursuers drew level and, to
+my intense satisfaction, passed on, breathing
+heavily. This is the last I saw of these two
+eager sons of the Fatherland. For all I
+know, they may be still following the excellent
+example afforded by &#8220;Charlie&#8217;s Aunt.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_153" id="Page_153">[153]</a></span>&#8221;</p>
+
+
+
+<h2><a name="CHAPTER_XI" id="CHAPTER_XI"></a>CHAPTER XI</h2>
+
+<h4>HOLLAND</h4>
+
+
+<p><span class="smcap"><big>I</big> was</span> now in a small wet stook, very cold
+and hungry. It being too light to risk a
+return journey to my carefully prepared nest,
+I had to take things as they were, and fell to
+wondering what it must feel like to be in a
+nice warm bed. The day proved to be one
+long nightmare. By careful observation I
+saw that a number of girls were working on
+the same crop, luckily at the other end of the
+field. They appeared only to be gleaning,
+but as it was quite likely this was preparatory
+to the carting, I resolved to keep a very sharp
+look-out to avoid being transfixed by a pitchfork
+and hoisted on to a cart. About breakfast-time
+a peculiar noise came from somewhere
+quite close, so, parting the corn
+carefully, I peered out in that direction.
+There, to my horror, were three men scything
+the rushes along a ditch which passed a few
+feet from me. The heap was a small one,
+and, therefore, to avoid detection, I endeavoured
+to put the best part of it between<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_154" id="Page_154">[154]</a></span>
+myself and them when they were working the
+closest to me. The completion of this
+operation naturally left me a little exposed
+on what I supposed to be my safe side. The
+men had almost passed, when I happened to
+look away from the ditch and saw a farmer
+standing beside the very next heap to mine,
+surveying the crop, his hands in his pockets.
+Somehow or other I wriggled back unobserved,
+and lay shivering with a combination
+of cold and fear. After half-an-hour&#8217;s
+wait, I again looked out cautiously, and was
+relieved to find the man gone, though there
+seemed to be even more people in the neighbourhood
+than before. To add to my
+discomfort the breeze increased to quite a
+strong, piercing wind, which whistled in and
+out among the corn-sheaves until I felt very
+like an ice-cream in a refrigerator. Even
+then there were more trials to come, for, not
+only did the grain pour itself into my clothes,
+eyes and ears, but also mixed with the crop
+was a large proportion of barley or bearded
+wheat, which took a truly fiendish delight
+in slowly but relentlessly making its way up
+my sleeves or down my back. In this
+predicament it seemed almost unthinkable
+that I should ever have been so foolish in my
+schooldays as to pick barley heads and
+deliberately put them a little way up my coat-sleeves,
+the barbs downwards, expressly for<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_155" id="Page_155">[155]</a></span>
+the pleasure of feeling them crawling up my
+arms. Most of us do curious things in our
+youth!</p>
+
+<p>Suffice it to say that, in spite of all convictions
+to the contrary, I was still in the
+heap, unmolested, when the afternoon resolved
+itself into evening and the labourers
+left for their homes. A little before nine
+o&#8217;clock, after a short but drenching shower, I
+could stand it no longer, so crawled out, damp
+and cold, but still almost glad to be alive.
+Looking towards the west in the fading light,
+I saw a large shape moving slowly from left
+to right through the country, roughly a
+couple of miles away. It could only be a
+sail. With a sinking feeling I realised that
+in front lay at least one more canal which
+must be crossed. (This canal, I afterwards
+discovered, was actually in Holland.) Although
+I did not feel desperately hungry,
+I somehow felt that I was getting near the
+end of my tether; my food, also, was
+dwindling and could not last more than two
+days at the outside, for I was already half-way
+through my emergency ration, a tin of
+Quaker oats. Strange to say, porridge is
+nothing like as nice eaten raw.</p>
+
+<p>As soon as it was dark I started out,
+resolved not only to be extremely cautious,
+but, at the same time, to get as far as possible
+before the next day overtook me, time now<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_156" id="Page_156">[156]</a></span>
+threatening to form one of my most formidable
+adversaries. Travelling across country,
+I soon came upon a long road bordered by
+trees, so hid in the edge of some beans to
+make sure that all was clear before venturing
+across it. Almost immediately I heard
+voices not far distant, and presently a man
+on a bicycle rode past. When everything
+was quiet again I managed to step across
+the road unobserved, feeling sure that
+another danger point was past. The night
+being cold it may be imagined that I was
+scarcely overjoyed at finding it necessary
+to wade or swim through another short
+series of dykes; this was, however, the case.
+Drawing near to the dreaded canal, I noticed
+that on either flank, some distance away,
+were clusters of rather brilliant lights.
+Presumably this pointed to the fact that these
+lights were placed at points of special importance,
+such as strongly guarded bridges,
+in which case it seemed probable that the
+canal might form part of the boundary line.
+In order to avoid the slightest rustle which
+might attract attention, I rolled my raincoat
+and secured it over one shoulder, &#8220;bandolier
+fashion.&#8221; I next covered the brass buttons
+of my tunic with mud, to prevent their
+reflecting the rays of a possible flashlight, and,
+after smearing some dirt on my face and
+hands, moved forward once more, prepared,<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_157" id="Page_157">[157]</a></span>
+in case of discovery, to make a dash towards
+the west regardless of the consequences.</p>
+
+<p>In a few minutes I saw, by the even line
+of the higher ground in front, that I had
+almost reached the raised canal, and was just
+preparing to mount the short, grassy slope
+when I came upon a hard-worn narrow track
+running along near the edge of a rather wide
+dyke, which separated me from the embankment.
+The dyke being in the lee of the wind
+it seemed advisable to ascertain whether it
+was possible to cross by any plank or bridge
+which might be in the vicinity in preference
+to going through it, for, though one may be
+able to get into a dyke quietly enough, the
+getting out is a very different matter when
+the sides are steep and one&#8217;s clothes full of
+water. Walking along this path very warily
+for about twenty yards, I was lucky enough
+to discover a plank leading across (for except
+for the faint silhouette of the top of the
+embankment against the sky, practically
+everything was hidden by the darkness).
+Though the plank bent threateningly I
+succeeded in crossing it, and crawled to the
+top of the rise. A glance revealed a broad,
+reed-fringed canal, reflecting little dancing
+lights on its wind-swept surface&mdash;the stars
+which had the audacity to peep out from
+between the clouds. I could hear the
+splashings of a water-rat actually swimming<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_158" id="Page_158">[158]</a></span>
+at that time of night for the fun of it!
+Quickly crossing the tow-path and parting
+the reeds, I followed its example, and, not
+waiting to remove pack, clothing or shoes,
+swam towards the opposite bank as silently
+as possible. It can only have been a few
+yards across, but I remember feeling almost
+as tired as if I had swum the Channel. This
+was the tenth night of my escapade, and the
+strain was certainly beginning to tell. As I
+was leaving the canal behind some wild duck
+rose from a dyke close by me, with much
+flapping of wings. If their desire was to
+frighten me they certainly achieved their
+object.</p>
+
+<p>When, after an hour or more, I continued
+plodding along without seeing anything
+unusual, I could not help again wondering if
+I was still in German territory. My curiosity
+increased when two motor cycles with
+powerful headlights went by on what appeared
+to be a main road. I had not seen
+anything like that for weeks, so resolved
+to go along the road myself in the hope
+of seeing some other strange sights.
+Immediately on arriving there I had to take
+cover in a corner of an orchard to avoid
+another light, which was rapidly overtaking
+me. From this point of vantage I was soon
+able to see that the light was on a bicycle,
+and the rider not a tin soldier, complete with<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_159" id="Page_159">[159]</a></span>
+helmet and curling moustache, but a peaceably
+dressed young woman. Encouraged by
+the promising trend of events, I stole some
+apples and made my way, munching and
+shivering, towards a little group of houses,
+hoping to discover some writing which might
+prove which country I was in. Eventually
+I found a letter-box and feverishly endeavoured
+to decipher, in the semi-darkness,
+a long word printed in black letters on a white
+background. With a sinking heart I slowly
+made out the letters B&mdash;R&mdash;I&mdash;E. Was it
+necessary to read any further? Surely this
+was proof positive that I was still under the
+gentle sway of the Kaiser! What else could
+the remainder be but &#8220;fkasten,&#8221; completing
+the German word for letter-box. With
+almost a feeling of resignation, I continued
+to wrest the remaining letters from the darkness.
+The expected F was a very peculiar
+shape. No, it was a V, after all! With
+every letter my hopes rose as I spelt out the
+remaining E N B U S. I do not profess to
+be a German scholar, but I do know that the
+word &#8220;BRIEVENBUS&#8221; does not adorn their
+letter-boxes in the ordinary course of events.
+Feeling vaguely happy, but still haunted by
+the first syllable of the word, I made my way
+further into the village. At first all seemed
+quiet, but presently I heard a couple talking
+near the entrance of a house. Creeping up<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_160" id="Page_160">[160]</a></span>
+as close as I dared in the deep shadow of the
+building, I strained my ears almost to dislocation
+to catch a few words of the conversation.
+The language they were speaking
+struck me as peculiarly ugly, and did not
+seem to lend itself readily to the uses to which
+they were undoubtedly putting it. The
+fact that they were not speaking ordinary
+German did not necessarily mean that the
+language was Dutch, for it might have been
+some border dialect. However, I could
+restrain myself no longer, so, walking up to
+the man, I addressed him thus in German,
+with as much nonchalance as I could command:
+&#8220;Can you tell me if I am in Germany
+or Holland?&#8221; He did not seem to grasp
+the question at once, which in itself was a
+good sign, though it lengthened my breathless
+suspense. I believe I would willingly have
+murdered him if, by doing so, I could have
+had the answer an instant sooner, for so much
+depended on it. All at once he straightened
+himself up and, in a surprised voice, replied,
+&#8220;Holland!&#8221;</p>
+
+<p>I should never have believed that one
+simple word could have meant so much. The
+news so completely overwhelmed me that, for
+a few seconds, I failed to grasp its import.
+Then, springing forward, I seized and shook
+his hand so violently that it almost threatened
+to fall off, at the same time showering<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_161" id="Page_161">[161]</a></span>
+explanations at him in a hundred and one
+different languages, in the hope that he would
+understand one of them. Needless to say, at
+first the unfortunate Dutchman was rather
+perturbed at being so cordially greeted by
+some one he must have thought to be a
+dangerous lunatic at large, though I consider
+that he stood the ordeal very well. I think
+the girl was the first to really grasp the
+situation, for, to my surprise, she congratulated
+me in broken German, and insisted on
+shaking hands, too. In spite of the good
+news I was still wet, cold and hungry, and
+the prospect of again sleeping in a warm bed
+was very alluring. I therefore inquired the
+way to the nearest hotel, and was told to
+make for a larger village, some three kilometres
+distant. I asked if there was any
+possibility of my taking a wrong turn leading
+back into Hunland, and being assured there
+was none if I followed the main road, started
+off in the best of spirits. It was just like
+walking on air. My dreams of freedom had
+at last come true. Though it was after one
+o&#8217;clock, I encountered several people and
+each time inquired the way, thus making
+assurance doubly sure. I can hardly attempt
+to describe the strange exultant feelings
+which surged through me as I marched along,
+conscious of having left &#8220;Brother Bosch&#8221;
+behind.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_162" id="Page_162">[162]</a></span></p>
+
+<p>Eventually, singing a marching song, I
+rounded a corner and found myself in a village
+street, almost opposite a house in front of
+which hung a sign, just distinguishable in the
+darkness: &#8220;Hotel Van Dijk.&#8221; Regardless
+of the fact that I did not possess a cent, I
+proceeded to knock loudly on the front door.
+After a few minutes my efforts were rewarded
+by hearing an upstairs window open, and
+being told in Dutch to go away. However,
+my mind being made up, I persisted in making
+more noise than ever. Seeing his protestations
+were in vain, and evidently scenting
+something unusual, I understood &#8220;mein
+Host&#8221; to say that he would come down.
+My knowledge of the laws of internment of
+a neutral country being very limited, it
+behoved me to act with extreme caution if
+I wished to follow in the footsteps of brother
+escapers, whom I knew had preceded me to
+England.</p>
+
+<p>Though I had committed no act of war,
+such as crossing the frontier carrying arms,
+I did not feel very sure of my ground. Therefore
+when the elderly innkeeper, holding a
+flickering candle, shot back the bolts, he
+found me wearing only a khaki shirt and
+grey flannel trousers, the soaking raincoat
+and tunic having been hurriedly secreted in
+my pack, so that he could not assert that I
+was in uniform when he first saw me, in case<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_163" id="Page_163">[163]</a></span>
+the subject should be raised later. As soon
+as he heard the facts of the case, the Dutchman
+motioned me to accompany him along
+the street, which I did wonderingly. I
+imagined myself shortly being interviewed
+by a fat, sleepy-eyed and pompous burgomaster,
+who would either fall upon my neck,
+or order me straight back to Germany. After
+half-an-hour&#8217;s walk, when my guide halted
+beside a long wooden hut and knocked
+vigorously, I decided that there was nothing
+to fear in that direction, for no such distinguished
+person would deign to live in so
+humble a residence. Presently, in answer
+to our repeated efforts, we heard several
+grumbling voices, a door was opened, and I
+was bidden to enter. As soon as I was
+accustomed to the glaring gas-light, I
+experienced a considerable shock. Occupying
+the whole length of the room in which I
+stood was a double line of beds, mostly
+containing sleeping men, and from the walls
+hung many greenish uniforms, rifles and
+bayonets! On recovering from my first
+surprise, I turned to a fully dressed soldier
+I took to be a sergeant, who by this time,
+presumably, understood that I was an
+escaped &#8220;Inglesman,&#8221; and asked him, in
+German, for an explanation. In the midst
+of his almost unintelligible reply I caught
+the word &#8220;<i>Grenswacht</i>&#8221; (frontier guard).<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_164" id="Page_164">[164]</a></span>
+Seeing that we were at cross purposes, the
+sergeant roused a man who spoke very fair
+English and acted as interpreter. I soon
+learnt that I was in the local headquarters
+of the Dutch Frontier Guard, and would have
+to remain there until seen by an officer the
+next day. This suited me only too well, so
+having duly impressed the fact that I was not
+in uniform, I retired to a bed arranged for
+me in the N.C.O.&#8217;s room, and commenced to
+pull off my wet clothes.</p>
+
+<p>Meanwhile tongues had not been idle, and
+eager, curious faces began to peep at the
+&#8220;stray dog&#8221; through the half-open door.
+Just as I was about to turn in, curiosity
+could be restrained no longer; the room
+filled with noisy young fellows, who took up
+a position round my bed and proceeded to
+bombard me with questions. It was all so
+well meant that I endeavoured to give them
+a brief outline of my doings, in German. The
+idea of an Englishman speaking German was
+evidently quite beyond their comprehension,
+for, judging by many doubtful looks of
+astonishment, it seemed that the general
+impression was that I was a camouflaged Hun.
+As they all persisted in talking at once, I put
+an end to the argument by disappearing under
+the bedclothes. About ten o&#8217;clock the next
+morning I awoke, feeling stiffer than ever
+before, the slightest contraction of a muscle<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_165" id="Page_165">[165]</a></span>
+resembling the jerking of a rusty wire.
+However, when a soldier, seeing that I
+was awake, brought my breakfast, I sat up
+with remarkable agility and devoured every
+crumb. Never have I enjoyed a meal more.
+Every additional mouthful of the deliciously
+fresh Dutch cheese and new bread seemed to
+receive a still more exquisite taste when I
+thought of the Irish stew I had missed when
+standing behind my imitation wall at Str&ouml;hen.
+It was not until after a thoroughly good scrub
+and a cold bath that I could screw up enough
+courage to look at myself in a mirror, and,
+prepared as I was, the sudden reflection of the
+wild-eyed, bearded tramp considerably surprised
+me. A little before lunch, having
+obtained some dry underclothing, I was
+sitting on my bed, extracting a selection of
+barbed wire and splinters from my hands with
+a large needle, when a Dutch officer walked
+in to see the curiosity. He greeted me
+cordially in very good English, introducing
+himself as Lieutenant Hoffman, in charge of
+the local detachment of the Frontier Guard,
+and asked me to lunch with him at his hotel.</p>
+
+<p>On the way thither I could not help being
+very impressed by the design and beauty of
+the village. The houses were mostly large,
+with spacious, well-kept gardens, the streets
+clean and the general atmosphere of the place
+spoke of great prosperity. Hoffman took me<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_166" id="Page_166">[166]</a></span>
+to a barber, who performed for a long time,
+but in the end turned out a comparatively
+respectable human being. At lunch I met
+another Dutch officer, also an English scholar,
+who, after hearing the latter part of my
+experience, told me that I must have actually
+walked along the German sentry&#8217;s path, just
+beyond the canal, the night before. Having
+had no escaped prisoners in that district
+before, they had a disquieting idea that I
+should very likely be interned. I learnt that,
+in all probability, I should proceed to a
+larger town for further examination the
+following day, and gathered that, in the
+meantime, it would be advisable for me to
+remain close to my headquarters and refrain
+from wandering about by myself, the frontier
+being too close for safety.</p>
+
+<p>Shortly after lunch the two officers entered
+the room, carrying a couple of sporting guns,
+and announced their intention of spending
+the afternoon at a canal on the frontier duck
+shooting, and said that I might expect them
+back about tea-time. Being a prisoner no
+longer the very thought of seeing grey-clad
+sentries standing at their posts appealed to
+me so much that I begged to be allowed to
+accompany them, deciding to run the small
+risk such a visit might entail. Hoffman was
+considerably surprised at my proposal, but
+said I could come at my own risk if I thought<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_167" id="Page_167">[167]</a></span>
+I had known him long enough to be able to
+take his word. He reminded me, at the same
+time, that one can easily step over a frontier
+line, intentionally or otherwise, and produced
+a loaded automatic pistol from his
+coat pocket as if to back up his argument,
+asking me to choose my course of action.
+For a few seconds I reasoned with myself
+and then accepted, it seeming perfectly
+obvious that Hoffman would never have
+shown his hand had he intended playing a
+crooked game. Just before starting the
+innkeeper lent me a civilian cap and overcoat,
+which gave me a sense of security and
+enabled me to set out with the others if not
+a perfect, at any rate a passable Dutchman.</p>
+
+<p>Presently we arrived at a bridge-head,
+where the Dutch guard turned out and
+saluted, when, it must be confessed, I felt
+a trifle nervous, being then almost on the
+frontier. The formalities over, we left our
+bicycles in the guardroom and, crossing the
+bridge, proceeded along the tow-path at the
+side of the canal. There, sure enough, were
+the grey-clad sentries, standing near their
+boxes along a little raised path, at intervals
+varying from one to two hundred yards.
+Seeing that our presence seemed to occasion
+considerable interest on the part of the
+sentries, I inquired the reason from one of
+my companions, and was informed that only<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_168" id="Page_168">[168]</a></span>
+persons in the company of Dutch officers
+were allowed where we were walking, in the
+neutral zone dividing the two countries.
+Curiously enough the water dog, whose duty
+it was to start the birds from among the reeds,
+was English and went by the name of &#8220;Tom.&#8221;
+Fortunately he was very obedient, for had
+he once crossed between the extenuated lines
+of grey men Tom would have afforded the
+Huns some moving target practice, which in
+all probability would have resulted in his
+contributing to a sausage machine. I am
+sure I do not know what I should have done
+if this had happened while I was with the
+party, for Tom, when feeling lonely, used to
+run straight up to me, wagging his stumpy
+tail and looking up with eyes which so
+plainly said that he was indeed glad to meet
+a fellow-countryman, for, though Dutchmen
+were kind enough to him, the scent was somewhat
+different.</p>
+
+<p>Towards the end of the afternoon we came
+to a place where the frontier line gradually
+converged, running parallel to, and about
+twenty-five yards away from, the canal, just
+the other side of a dyke at the bottom of the
+embankment. It must have been somewhere
+here that an unseen hand had unconsciously
+guided me to safety through the darkness of
+the night before. I selected a particularly
+Hunnish-looking sentry, who was standing<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_169" id="Page_169">[169]</a></span>
+beside a painted black and white box, with
+a long, wicked-looking and old-patterned
+bayonet gleaming above his slung rifle, and,
+hailing him casually, remarked that it must
+be weary work doing nothing, and inquired
+if he was tired of the war, to which he replied
+with a sullen &#8220;<i>Ja</i>.&#8221; Undismayed by his
+dismal expression, I inquired if they ever had
+any escaped prisoners in those parts. This
+time he did not deign to answer, but merely
+shook his head solemnly. By removing my
+coat I could have easily disillusioned him,
+but, remembering that a rifle bullet is not a
+thing to be trifled with, I refrained.</p>
+
+<p>Feeling my triumph complete, I turned and
+limped away, still hardly able to realise that
+only a few hours before I had unknowingly
+paraded along the same little raised path
+which the Germans were so jealously guarding.
+Of all my escapes this was the most
+inexplicable. To what was it due? Certainly
+not to my own initiative alone.
+Man&#8217;s extremity is indeed God&#8217;s opportunity.</p>
+
+<hr />
+
+<p>Supreme in the world of red tape, far
+above the ken of misguided mortals, lives
+an omnipotent being&mdash;the Censor. In
+imagination, he sits in a huge armchair,
+wreathed in tobacco smoke, casually sorting,
+from piles of manuscript, the sheep from the
+goats. The former are destined to be<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_170" id="Page_170">[170]</a></span>
+smothered in official stamps and coloured
+inks, while the latter are cast ignominiously
+into the gigantic waste-paper basket. Though
+this little sheep, in particular, may have a
+little of its wool shorn off, I trust that it may
+eventually avoid the rubbish heap. For this
+reason I must ask the reader to be contented
+with a very curtailed and disjointed account
+of the remainder of my wanderings.</p>
+
+<hr />
+
+<p>In due course I was placed in a quarantine
+camp, to remain there until a given number
+of days should elapse, when, on being pronounced
+free from infection, I should be
+allowed to continue my journey through
+Holland. The camp contained a number of
+German deserters who, it appeared, crossed
+the frontier in this district at the average rate
+of one per diem, having for the most part
+arrived direct from the front, with every
+intention of leaving their beloved &#8220;<i>Vaterland</i>&#8221;
+behind for ever. They made no
+secret of the fact that they hoped to be able
+to emigrate to England or America as soon
+as it was all over. Several of them were
+N.C.O.&#8217;s, wearing the black and white ribbon
+of the Iron Cross, to all appearances good
+soldiers whom their relentless system had
+forced to desertion rather than the terror of
+the British guns. The Germans occupied a
+separate hut, and were kept strictly to themselves.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_171" id="Page_171">[171]</a></span>
+This probably saved a lot of trouble,
+for, judging by the spirited way they occasionally
+sang &#8220;<i>Deutschland, Deutschland &uuml;ber
+alles</i>,&#8221; accompanied by an accordion, the
+spirit of patriotism and savage &#8220;kultur&#8221;
+still flowed in their veins. Doubtless the
+first German band to return to England will
+be composed of the most gentle peace and
+beer-loving Huns that ever visited our
+favoured shores. Whatever the nature of
+the welcome and guarantees extended to
+them by our English &#8220;Bolsheviks&#8221; (who
+even now have the audacity to advocate
+a policy of &#8220;shake and be friends&#8221;),
+their lives will not be at all secure when
+they come in contact, as they ultimately
+must, with Britishers who have been most
+brutally treated and forced to work as
+prisoners in the German salt mines, men
+who have come to know the truth of the
+saying, &#8220;Once a Bosch, always a Bosch,&#8221;
+during their stay of several years in Hunland.
+I feel genuinely sorry for the very few really
+nice Germans who certainly do exist (several
+of whom I met during my captivity). However,
+considering that their influence has been
+practically <i>nil</i> in the War, on account of their
+being in such a minority, I suppose they will
+be bound to suffer with the rest.</p>
+
+<p>The number of escaped French and
+Russian soldiers was surprising. However<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_172" id="Page_172">[172]</a></span>
+they must have had many excellent opportunities,
+while working in the fields near the
+frontier, to cross the dividing line. It did
+not take me long to discover three British
+privates, who were distinctly bored and very
+pleased to see me. The eldest was a South
+African, escaped from a reprisal camp, while
+the other two belonged to the Warwicks.
+Though little more than boys they had in
+all probability seen more of the hardships
+of life than many men of treble their age.
+Great excitement prevailed when, by dint of
+much cajoling, I managed to procure a
+mandoline from the town, for, though the
+meals were very much looked forward to and
+enjoyed, the rest of the time passed very
+slowly. It is not easy to play tunes to
+satisfy the cravings of different nationalities
+at a moment&#8217;s notice. A few Russians
+flung themselves about to the lilt of some of
+their rowdiest cake-walks, while the &#8220;Marseillaise,&#8221;
+seeming a universal favourite, was
+repeatedly called for. On the morning of the
+fourth day three weird-looking figures, wearing
+a queer mixture of ready-made Dutch
+garments, entered the camp with a guard.
+I could scarcely believe my eyes when I
+recognised some of my former companions
+at Str&ouml;hen. Two of them, Captain Harrison,
+of the Royal Irish, and Lieutenant C.&nbsp;F.
+Templar, 1st Gloucesters (since then, I regret<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_173" id="Page_173">[173]</a></span>
+to say, killed in action), were &#8220;old Contemptibles,&#8221;
+having been captured about
+the beginning of the War, while the third,
+Lieutenant J. Insall, V.C., R.F.C., had been
+in captivity two years. They had all made
+many previous attempts to escape, and
+consequently had sampled many German
+prisons, and now at last succeeded. Captain
+Harrison, I have since heard, was again
+captured, during the German advance in
+the spring of &#8217;18, but was fortunately able
+to regain our lines the same night. Our
+delight at meeting again outside Germany
+was mutual, and, having so many notes to
+exchange, the time then passed much more
+rapidly. After various communications with
+the British authorities, we were successful
+at last in getting in touch with the British
+Minister at the Hague, who almost immediately
+obtained our release from the quarantine
+camp, to the unbounded astonishment
+of the local Dutch magnates.</p>
+
+<hr />
+
+<p>Receiving an invitation to visit Sir Walter
+Townley (British Minister), I proceeded to
+the Hague, freed at last from the annoying
+formality of being continually escorted by
+an officer or guard. Imagine my pleasure
+at once more sitting down to afternoon tea
+in an English drawing-room. I shall never
+forget the kind thought and solicitude of<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_174" id="Page_174">[174]</a></span>
+my hostess, Lady Susan. I almost seemed to
+be in England.</p>
+
+<p>Before catching my train back, I engaged
+a taxi and tried to see as much of the town as
+possible in the time. The driver understood
+but little of my directions; the sight, however,
+of a few <i>guldens</i> caused him to drive
+so recklessly that I thought my last hour
+had come. It seemed that we must be leaving
+the path strewn with luckless victims.
+Arriving at the Palace of Peace, where the
+nations had so unsuccessfully beguiled each
+other with &#8220;smooth words, softer than honey,&#8221;
+I succeeded in inducing my charioteer to come
+to a standstill. Alighting, a policeman informed
+me that the building had just been
+closed, but pointed out the highly ornamental
+metal gates, which, at the cost of 40,000 marks,
+had been presented by the Kaiser Wilhelm a
+few years before the War. Espying on them
+angels of peace carrying palm branches, I
+could contain myself no longer, so delivered
+an impassioned harangue to the astonished
+Dutchman on the subject of hypocrisy, in a
+mixture of German, French and Dutch.
+Presently, seeing a large crowd gathering
+around us, I concluded my remarks with a
+substantial tip, and signalling to &#8220;Mynheer
+Mercury,&#8221; was once more whirled into space.</p>
+
+<hr />
+
+<p>The convoy, in formation, steamed through<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_175" id="Page_175">[175]</a></span>
+the neutral waters towards the open sea.
+On board were a party of women and children,
+proceeding from Germany to England for
+repatriation. Several of them must have
+been in Germany an exceedingly long time,
+for they could only speak broken English,
+while some of the children, having evidently
+been born there, could speak no English at
+all. Soon the ship began to roll gently in
+response to the ever-increasing swell. As the
+White Ensign fluttered happily from the
+stern, most of us took advantage of the still
+comparatively calm sea by parading along
+the deck in company with a British commodore,
+confidently straining our eyes to catch
+a first glimpse of the approaching escort; and
+it was, unfortunately, obvious that every one
+on board did not share our good spirits. As
+the disconcerting movements of the ship
+increased, the Anglo-German element, pale-faced
+and dejected, assembled amidships, and
+forming a small, huddled group, hastily
+commenced to put on their cork jackets and
+life-belts, evidently preparing for the expected
+impact of the dreaded torpedo. Just then,
+as the look-out, attracted by some specks
+of foam emerging from the grey, misty
+horizon, signalled that a number of ships
+were fast approaching, they could stand the
+strain no longer, so, breaking into a weird
+German chant, they wailed disconsolately.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_176" id="Page_176">[176]</a></span>
+Could it be that the victorious German fleet,
+of which they had so often heard, was at this
+very moment bearing down upon us?
+Perish the thought! The specks of white
+grew larger with alarming rapidity. It was
+not until the British destroyer flotilla was
+almost on us that we could discern, behind
+each dividing mass of curving foam, the
+sinister and capable grey shapes of Britannia&#8217;s
+watch-dogs moving swiftly, in perfect harmony
+with sea and sky. As if inspired by
+one mind, our guardians turned about, and
+silently taking up their respective positions
+at a reduced speed, they passed with us safely
+along the King&#8217;s Highway!</p>
+
+
+<p class="center" style="font-size: 90%; padding-top: 2em">THE WHITEFRIARS PRESS, LTD., LONDON AND TONBRIDGE.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_177" id="Page_177">[177]</a></span></p>
+
+<div class="advertisements">
+
+<div class="bbox">
+
+<p class="center"><big>PHILIP GIBBS</big><br />
+ON THE WAR IN FLANDERS</p>
+
+<p>I. The Battles of the Somme<br />
+<span style="padding-left: 9.5em">6/- net</span></p>
+
+<p>II. From Bapaume to Passchendaele<br />
+<span style="padding-left: 9.5em">6/- net</span></p>
+
+<p>III. Open Warfare <span style="padding-left: .7em">10/6 net</span></p>
+
+<p class="bt center">London: Wm. Heinemann, 21 Bedford St.</p>
+</div>
+<p>&nbsp;</p>
+<div class="bbox">
+<p class="bb center"><i>OTHER RECENT VOLUMES</i></p>
+
+<p class="negative">THE SWORD OF DEBORAH.<br />
+By F. Tennyson Jesse. F&#8217;cap 8vo.<br />
+<span style="padding-left: 11em">3/- net</span></p>
+
+<p class="description">A woman&#8217;s account of woman&#8217;s work in
+France.</p>
+
+<p class="negative">THE LOVERS. By Elizabeth
+Robins Pennell. F&#8217;cap 8vo.<br />
+<span style="padding-left: 11em">2/6 net</span></p>
+
+<p class="description">A true love story of the war.</p>
+
+<p class="negative">A DIARY WITHOUT DATES.<br />
+By Enid Bagnold. F&#8217;cap 8vo.<br />
+<span style="padding-left: 11em">2/6 net</span></p>
+
+<p class="description">&#8220;Here is a book that will live on.&#8221;&mdash;<i>Morning
+Post.</i></p>
+
+
+<p class="bt center">London: Wm. Heinemann, Bedford St.</p>
+</div>
+</div>
+
+
+<div class="note">
+<h5>Transcriber's Notes</h5>
+
+<p>The list of other volumes in the collection has been moved from the
+front of the book to the end.</p>
+
+<p>Obvious typographical errors have been fixed. See the list below for
+details. The original errata in the book has been included.</p>
+
+                             <h5>Issues fixed:</h5>
+
+<ul class="transcriber">
+<li>page &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;<a href="#Page_5">5</a>&mdash;typo fixed: changed 'stacatto' to 'staccato'</li>
+<li>page &nbsp;&nbsp;<a href="#Page_25">25</a>&mdash;errata typo fixed: changed 'weis' to 'weiss'</li>
+<li>page &nbsp;&nbsp;<a href="#Page_32">32</a>&mdash;spelling normalized: changed 'guard-room' to 'guardroom'</li>
+<li>page &nbsp;&nbsp;<a href="#Page_43">43</a>&mdash;errata typo fixed: changed 'balolaika' to 'balalaika'</li>
+<li>page &nbsp;&nbsp;<a href="#Page_47">47</a>&mdash;errata typo fixed: changed 'Weiswein' to 'Weisswein'</li>
+<li>page &nbsp;&nbsp;<a href="#Page_51">51</a>&mdash;errata typo fixed: changed 'Hammelin' to 'Hameln'</li>
+<li>page &nbsp;&nbsp;<a href="#Page_55">55</a>&mdash;errata typo fixed: changed 'Weiswein' to 'Weisswein'</li>
+<li>page &nbsp;&nbsp;<a href="#Page_75">75</a>&mdash;typo fixed: changed 'Middlesessex' to 'Middlesex'</li>
+<li>page <a href="#Page_103">103</a>&mdash;spelling normalized: changed 'gaolbirds' to 'gaol-birds'</li>
+<li>page <a href="#Page_111">111</a>&mdash;spelling normalized: changed 'bathroom' to 'bath-room'</li>
+<li>page <a href="#Page_126">126</a>&mdash;typo fixed: changed 'Pupchen' to 'P&uuml;ppchen'</li>
+<li>page <a href="#Page_127">127</a>&mdash;typo fixed: changed 'farmhouse' to 'farm-house'</li>
+<li>page <a href="#Page_152">152</a>&mdash;typo fixed: changed 'Strohen' to 'Str&ouml;hen'</li>
+<li>page <a href="#Page_159">159</a>&mdash;errata typo fixed: changed 'feasten' to 'fkasten'</li>
+<li>page <a href="#Page_165">165</a>&mdash;typo fixed: changed 'Strohen' to 'Str&ouml;hen'</li>
+<li>page <a href="#Page_167">167</a>&mdash;spelling normalized: changed 'guard-room' to 'guardroom'</li>
+<li>page <a href="#Page_171">171</a>&mdash;typo fixed: changed 'uber' to '&uuml;ber'</li>
+<li>page <a href="#Page_172">172</a>&mdash;typo fixed: changed 'Strohen' to 'Str&ouml;hen'</li></ul>
+
+</div>
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+<pre>
+
+
+
+
+
+End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of 'Brother Bosch', an Airman's Escape
+from Germany, by Gerald Featherstone Knight
+
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+The Project Gutenberg EBook of 'Brother Bosch', an Airman's Escape from
+Germany, by Gerald Featherstone Knight
+
+This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with
+almost no restrictions whatsoever.  You may copy it, give it away or
+re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included
+with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org
+
+
+Title: 'Brother Bosch', an Airman's Escape from Germany
+
+Author: Gerald Featherstone Knight
+
+Release Date: November 10, 2008 [EBook #27229]
+
+Language: English
+
+Character set encoding: ASCII
+
+*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK BROTHER BOSCH ***
+
+
+
+
+Produced by Irma Spehar and the Online
+Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net (This
+file was produced from images generously made available
+by The Internet Archive/American Libraries.)
+
+
+
+
+
+                            "BROTHER BOSCH"
+
+                    AN AIRMAN'S ESCAPE FROM GERMANY
+
+                                  BY
+
+                        CAPTAIN KNIGHT, R.A.F.
+
+
+                                 1919
+                       LONDON: WILLIAM HEINEMANN
+                   _London: William Heinemann, 1919_
+
+
+                           To the Memory of
+
+                           CAPTAIN MORRITT,
+                           LIEUT. MEDLICOTT,
+                            LIEUT. WALTERS,
+
+               AND ALL OTHER OFFICERS, N.C.O.'S AND MEN,
+                      WHO, BEING LESS FORTUNATE,
+                  GAVE THEIR LIVES IN THE ENDEAVOUR.
+
+
+    Beloved Country! banished from thy shore,
+    A stranger in this prison house of clay,
+    The exiled spirit weeps and sighs for thee!
+    Heavenward the bright perfections I adore
+    Direct, and the sure promise cheers the way,
+    That, whither love aspires, there shall my dwelling be.
+
+                                              _Longfellow._
+
+
+
+
+                                 NOTE
+
+"The spelling of the word 'Bosch' was the customary one in the German
+prisoners' camps from which the author made his escape, and is
+retained for the sake of local colour."
+
+
+                                ERRATA
+
+     P. 25, line 6 from bottom, _for_ "_weis_" _read_ "_weiss_."
+
+     P. 43, line 14, _for_ "balolaika" _read_ "balalaika."
+
+     P. 47, line 10 and p. 55, line 16, _for_ "_Weiswein_" _read_
+            "_Weisswein_."
+
+     P. 51, line 7, _for_ "Hammelin" _read_ "Hameln."
+
+     P. 126, line 20, _for_ "Pupchen" _read_ "Pueppchen."
+
+     P. 159, line 16, _for_ "Briefeasten" _read_ "Briefkasten."
+
+
+
+
+                            "BROTHER BOSCH"
+
+                  (An Airman's Capture and subsequent
+                         Escape from Germany)
+
+
+
+
+                               CHAPTER I
+
+                               CAPTURED
+
+
+It was November 9th, 1916. I lay in a state of luxurious
+semi-consciousness pondering contentedly over things in general,
+transforming utter impossibilities into plausible possibilities,
+wondering lazily the while if I were asleep. Presently, to my disgust
+an indefinable, yet persistent "something" came into being, almost
+threatening to dispel the drowsy mist then pervading my brain. The
+slow thought waves gradually ceased their surging, and after a slight
+pause began to collect round the offending mystery, as if seeking to
+unravel it in a half-hearted sort of way. They gave me to understand
+that the "something" recurred at intervals, and even suggested that it
+might be a voice, though from which side of the elastic dividing line
+it emanated they were quite unable to say. With the consoling thought
+that voices often come from dreamland I allowed the whole subject to
+glide gently into the void and the tide of thought to continue its
+drugged revolutions. The next instant a noisy whirlwind swept the
+cobwebs away. I knew that the voice was indeed a reality, for it
+delivered the following message: "A very fine morning, sir!" Obviously
+my dutiful servant desired me to rise and enjoy the full benefit of
+the beautiful day. Agreeing with Harry Lauder, that "It's nice to get
+up in the morning, but it's nicer to stay in bed!" I am sorry to say I
+cunningly dismissed the orderly with a few false assurances, turned
+over on my side and promptly forgot all about such trivial matters.
+Conscience was kicking very feebly, and just as sleep was about to
+return, the air commenced to vibrate and something swept overhead with
+a whirling roar--an "early bird" testing the air. Galvanised into
+action by this knowledge, I sprang out of bed, and seizing whatever
+garments happened to be the nearest, was half dressed before I had
+even time to yawn! Then snatching up my map, coat, hat, and goggles, I
+burst from the hut and began slithering along the duck-boards towards
+the hangars, at the same time endeavouring to fasten the unwilling
+hooks of my Flying Corps tunic and devoutly hoping that I should not
+be late for the bomb raid. For weeks we had been standing by for this
+raid in particular, the object of which was to bomb Douai aerodrome.
+This was a particularly warm spot to fly over, for in these days it
+was regarded as the home of "Archies" and the latest hostile aircraft.
+It is, therefore, not surprising that the general feeling of the
+squadron was that the sooner it was over the better for all concerned.
+Arrived at the sheds I was relieved to find that I was in good time,
+at all events. The machines (two-seater artillery machines, then
+commonly known as "Quirks") were lined up on the aerodrome with bomb
+racks loaded, their noses to the wind, awaiting the signal to ascend.
+I saluted the C.O., waved to a friend or two and climbed into the
+pilot's seat of my waiting machine. Then, adjusting the levers, I
+signified to the waiting mechanics that I was ready for them to "suck
+in" (an operation necessary prior to the starting of the engine).
+Having made sure that everything was O.K. and waited for the others to
+ascend, I took off and, after climbing steadily for some time, took up
+my specified position in the formation. For some time we circled about
+over a pre-arranged rendezvous, until joined by an escort of fighting
+machines and another squadron of bombers, and then settled down to
+business. Flying straight into the sun we soon arrived at and passed
+over the irregular spidery lines of trenches (those on Vimy Ridge
+showing up particularly clearly), and continued forging ahead, past
+many familiar landmarks, always in the direction of Douai. I for one
+never dreamt of being taken prisoner and had every intention of making
+a record breakfast on my return. My engine was going rather badly, but
+the odds were that it would see me through. Only too soon the
+anti-aircraft started their harassing fire, throwing up a startling
+number of nerve-racking, high explosive shells, each one a curling
+black sausage of hate and steel splinters. When we were some way over
+my machine lagged behind the rest. The engine spluttered
+intermittently and could not be induced to go at all well. As my
+machine became more isolated I cast anxious glances about and was soon
+rewarded by seeing two wicked little enemy scouts waiting for an easy
+prey (at that time they did not usually attack a formation, but waited
+behind for the likes o' me). While one scout attracted my attention on
+the left and I was engaged in keeping him off by firing occasional
+bursts, a machine gun opened fire with a deafening clatter at
+point-blank range from behind. In an instant the surrounding air
+became full of innumerable tiny, brilliant flames, passing me at an
+incredible speed like minute streaks of lightning, each one giving
+forth a curious staccato whistling crack as it plunged through or
+beside the tormented machine, leaving in its wake a thin curling line
+of blue smoke. I was in the middle of a relentless storm of burning
+tracer bullets, vying one with the other for the honour of passing
+through the petrol tank, thereby converting my machine into a seething
+furnace. Having no observer to defend my tail I turned steeply to meet
+my new adversary. However, before completing the manoeuvre I
+received another deadly burst of fire, which, though it somehow missed
+me, shot away several of my control wires. What happened next I cannot
+be sure, but the machine seemed to turn over, and my machine gun fell
+off with a crash. This took place at an altitude of six thousand feet.
+My next impression was that I seemed to be in the centre of a whirling
+vortex, around which all creation revolved at an extraordinary speed,
+and realised that my trusty steed was indulging in a particularly
+violent "spinning nose dive." A "spin" at the best of times rather
+takes one's breath away, so, shutting the throttle, I endeavoured to
+come out of it in the usual way. To my surprise, the engine refused to
+slow down, or any of the controls to respond, except one, which only
+tended to make matters worse.
+
+The one thing left to be done was to "switch off" and trust to luck.
+This, however, was more easily decided on than accomplished, for by
+this time the machine was plunging to earth so rapidly, with the
+engine full on, that I felt as if I were tied to a peg-top, which was
+being hurled downwards with irresistible force. Fighting blindly
+against the tremendous air-pressure, which rendered me hardly able to
+move, I forced my left arm, inch by inch, along the edge of the
+"cockpit" until I succeeded in turning the switch lever downwards. A
+glance at the speedometer did not reassure me, the poor thing seemed
+very much overworked. Descending very rapidly I kept getting a glimpse
+of a pretty red-roofed village, which became ominously more distinct
+at every plunging revolution.
+
+I vaguely thought there would be rather a splash when we arrived at
+our destination, but at eight hundred feet Providence came to the
+rescue. I heard the welcome cessation of the wild screaming hum of the
+strained wires. After switching on, the engine informed me with much
+spluttering that it was sorry that I should have to land on the wrong
+side, but it really had done its best. I had just managed to turn
+towards our trenches, when the scout pilot, seeing I did not land, at
+once followed me down and with its machine gun impressed on me that
+the sooner I landed the better. As I was then a long way over the
+lines, sinking fast towards the tree-tops, I had no alternative, so
+endeavoured to reach the village green. By this time the machine was
+literally riddled with bullets, though, luckily, I had not been
+touched. Before landing I overtook a German horseman, so thinking to
+introduce myself I dived on him from a low altitude, just passing over
+his head. Well, scare him I certainly did, poor man; he was much too
+frightened to get off, and seemed to be doing his best to get inside
+his would-be Trojan animal. The machine landed on a heap of picks and
+shovels, ran among a number of Huns who were having a morning wash at
+some troughs (or rather I should say, a lick and a promise!). They
+scattered and then closed in on the machine. I ran one wing into a
+post, and tried the lighter, which did not work. I was a prisoner.
+Undoubtedly, the next German communique announced that the gallant
+Lieutenant X. had brought down his thirtieth machine; it is probable
+that this gallant officer had heard strange rumours of what lay behind
+the British lines, but preferred cruising on the safer side. I could
+hardly believe that these grey-clad, rather unshaven men who jabbered
+excitedly were genuine "Huns." I was furious and very "fed-up," but
+that did not help, so turning in my seat and raising my hand I said,
+"_Gutten Morgen_." This surprised them so much that they forgot to be
+rude and mostly returned the compliment.
+
+
+
+
+                              CHAPTER II
+
+                                CAMBRAI
+
+
+The immediate treatment I received was rather better than I had
+expected. Several officers came forward, and one, who held a revolver,
+told me in broken English to get out. So leaving my poor old machine,
+we proceeded to the village headquarters.
+
+Photographers appeared from nowhere and I was twice "snapped" on the
+way, though I'm afraid I did not act up to the usual request, "look
+pleasant." On arriving at a small house I was received by a German
+general, who looked rather like an Xmas tree, the Iron Crosses were so
+numerous. As I stood to attention he politely inquired if I spoke
+German, even condescending to smile faintly when I replied, "Ja, un
+peu!" At first when I answered a few preliminary questions he was
+politeness itself. He then asked for my squadron number, to which I
+could only reply that I was sorry but could not answer him, whereupon
+he pointed out that it was of no military value whatever, and that it
+was only to assist in my identification in the report of my capture
+which would go to England. So thoughtful of him; such a plausible
+excuse! Of course I remained silent, whereupon "_la politesse_"
+vanished and an angry Hun took its place. He screamed, threatened, and
+waved his arms about, but as I did not seem very impressed at the
+display, he rushed out of the room, slamming the door and not
+returning. Oh, for a "movie" camera! A Flying Corps officer then took
+me in a car to an aerodrome, and told me I should have lunch with the
+officers at the chateau, where they were quartered. Here I met about
+nine German airmen, who greeted me in a typically foreign manner. They
+seemed quite a nice lot on the whole, though I did not know them long
+enough to really form an opinion. Soon a good German gramophone was
+playing and lunch began. The food was rather poor, but champagne
+plentiful. During the meal the gramophone, which was nearest to me,
+finished a record, so getting up I changed the needle and started the
+other side. But it wasn't the "Bing Boys" this time! Strange to say,
+they were quite astonished at this performance, thinking, perhaps,
+that I could not change the needle. Afterwards, at coffee, a
+lieutenant asked me what we thought of their flying corps, to which I
+replied that I thought it was all right. He seemed quite prepared for
+this, and hastily said that I must remember that they had fewer
+machines. I think it must have occurred to every captured airman how
+splendid it would be to steal an enemy aeroplane and fly back, then
+after a graceful landing report to the C.O. that you had returned.
+These flights are not infrequently pleasurably accomplished in
+imagination, but such opportunities do not often, if ever, present
+themselves.
+
+Just before leaving the chateau, I excused myself and got as far as
+the back door, where I had to explain to some German orderlies that I
+was only trying to find my coat. I was taken by car to corps
+headquarters at another chateau, where I saw some young officers,
+elegantly dressed, lounging about. After much useless bowing and
+scraping I was again interrogated by an objectionable colonel, but
+they seemed used to failure, and soon ceased their efforts. A major
+who assisted spoke English well, and made himself quite pleasant till
+I left. On hearing that I was in the Devons he told me that on leaving
+the university his father had sent him to live at a small village near
+Barnstaple, where he had remained for several years. Doubtless, a
+hard-working man of leisure! He seemed a very able officer, but
+decidedly young for a German major. On being told that all leather
+goods were confiscated, I was forced to give up my Sam Brown belt much
+against my will. They seemed very familiar with the movements of our
+troops, and I noticed that though their telephones were rather large
+and clumsy they carried slight sounds very distinctly, so much so,
+that when at the other end of the room I could hear practically the
+whole conversation.
+
+Towards evening the major told me to get ready to go to Cambrai, and
+at the same time said, that as my leather flying coat was also
+confiscated they had cut off the fur collar, which he then handed
+back. This rather annoyed me, so I told him to keep it, which incident
+I regretted afterwards. However, he lent me a German coat, which was
+some comfort. On the way to Cambrai we again passed near the lines,
+some British star shells being plainly visible. What a difference a
+few kilometres make! The Germans depend on their railway transport
+more than we do. Certainly their road transport cannot be compared
+with ours. We passed a few cars and motor lorries, the majority giving
+one the impression that they were falling to bits, so noisy and shabby
+were they. I only saw two or three motor cyclists the whole time, and
+those I did see rode machines of an antiquated pattern. We passed a
+lot of horse transport, nearly all the ambulances in the district
+being horse drawn. Most cars, including our own, were only capable of
+emitting useless squeaks on emergencies.
+
+Soon we entered Cambrai, an old, picturesque French town, and drew up
+at the entrance to the citadel, where a guard allowed us to enter. I
+was then left with a Lieutenant Schram, the intelligence officer, who
+gave me coffee and cigars and plied me with questions. He was very
+anxious to discover all he could about our tanks, and possessed many
+supposed models, mostly not in the least like them. He emphasised the
+opinion that, of course we should not get Bapaume, at the same time
+allowing he thought there might be a moving battle in the spring. From
+his conversation I gathered that they were very familiar with
+formation and movements of most of our Colonial units. The
+_tete-a-tete_ at an end, I was taken to my quarters, a bare
+whitewashed room, containing one French flying officer, two British
+lieutenants, if I remember rightly, both in the D.L.I., having been
+taken near Bapaume, and also a Canadian sergeant-major. It is
+unnecessary to say how pleased I was to see them. Some one had
+acquired a portion of an old magazine, which was much sought after, it
+being the only means of passing the time. Our sleeping accommodation
+consisted of two old straw mattresses, one on the floor and the other
+on a shelf above.
+
+Being tired we slept soundly, but in the morning we were horrified to
+find we had not been alone, but that quite a varied menagerie had
+shared our couches with us. Why the blankets did not run away in the
+night I cannot think. The Huns promised to have lots of things done
+but never did anything, in fact, they lie as easily as they breathe,
+even when there is nothing to be gained by it.
+
+A comparatively nice N.C.O. was in charge of us, called Nelson! We
+afterwards learnt that his father had been English, and that his own
+knowledge of England appeared to be confined to an Oxford restaurant.
+One day when our lunch, consisting of black and watery soup, was
+brought up he sympathetically remarked that it was a pity we could not
+have chicken and ham. I wonder what he would have done had some one
+enticingly rattled a shilling on a plate?
+
+During the day we were allowed to walk round the barrack square for
+about three hours with eighty British and a hundred and fifty French
+soldiers, some of whom were daily detailed to work in the town. I
+noticed that the Germans were inclined to treat our soldiers the
+worst, frequently shouting threats at them in their guttural
+language. In the evenings I sometimes managed to get downstairs with
+the men, and in this way was able to join in some impromptu
+sing-songs. Sanitary arrangements were very bad and disinfectants
+unknown. We were allowed to buy a little extra bread and some turnip
+jam at exorbitant prices, which helped us considerably, as breakfast
+consisted only of luke-warm acorn coffee, lunch of a weird soup
+containing sauerkraut or barley, supper of soup or tea alternate days.
+We amused ourselves by carving our names on the table, or by drawing
+regimental crests or pictures of Hun aeroplanes descending in flames,
+in out of the way corners. On being told that toothbrushes were out of
+stock (I do not think they ever were in), I manufactured a home-made
+one on boy scout lines. It consisted of a small bundle of twigs and
+splinters tied together (like a young besom), and though it did its
+work well, the morning sweep was decidedly painful.
+
+
+
+
+                              CHAPTER III
+
+                            ADVENTURE NO. 1
+
+
+After remaining there a week we were told that we should leave the
+next morning for Germany, which we should grow to like very much!
+During our stay, except for a few exciting intervals when British
+machines passed over the town, we had plenty of time for meditation,
+and usually when darkness fell could see by the gun flashes that the
+evening strafe was in progress. This always reminded me of an argument
+which had once taken place in our squadron mess, late one evening
+before turning in, during which I had expressed the opinion that
+should any one with infantry experience be forced to land the wrong
+side just before dark, provided he could avoid Huns, it might be just
+possible for him to return the next night through the trenches. Now I
+felt it was up to me to prove it should such an opportunity present
+itself.
+
+Cambrai citadel is both solid and imposing, and must have proved
+itself a formidable fortress. Crowning a slight eminence, it
+overlooks most of the town. On the three sides are ramparts, varying
+from about twenty to sixty feet in height, while on a fourth it is now
+bounded by barbed wire and high railings, with only a slight drop on
+the other side. At the main entrance the road crosses the old moat and
+passes under a massive archway which adjoins the guardroom. All the
+approaches to the outer walls are guarded by quantities of barbed wire
+and numerous sentries.
+
+After a thorough search I at last discovered a small round hole in the
+wall of an outbuilding near the roof, through which I decided it would
+be possible to squeeze, in the dusk, unobserved by the sentry. The new
+German coat I had received on the way had been again in its turn
+exchanged for an old French one. This I took to the men's quarters
+and, finally, after hunting the whole place, found an old German coat
+hanging up. After bargaining for some time I made my fourth exchange,
+and returned successful. Later in the afternoon an English N.C.O. told
+me that he had heard of my search and presented me with an old German
+fatigue cap which had been unearthed somewhere by his pals.
+
+Now having everything ready I determined to try my luck about six
+o'clock that evening before being shut up for the night. After
+learning some new German words likely to be of use, such as "wire
+entanglements," "dug-outs," etc., I returned to my room and waited. My
+plan was to follow the gun flashes, which in all probability would
+lead me to the Bapaume area, where I expected to find some wire or
+wooden posts, which I should carry with me as I approached the lines,
+and endeavour to avoid suspicion by mingling with working parties as
+an engineer. If thus far successful I hoped to repair the German wire
+entanglements, which in this district were much damaged by our shell
+fire, and eventually slip away and get into touch with our patrols.
+
+At a quarter to six a German flying officer entered our room and
+invited me to dinner at their Cambrai headquarters, assuring me that
+there would be plenty to eat and drink. (I expect after skilfully
+mixed drinks they hoped to loosen my tongue. When a Hun lays himself
+out to be pleasant it is almost certain that in some way he expects to
+benefit by it.) If you wish to realise how tempting this offer was,
+live on a watery starvation diet for eight days and then be given the
+opportunity of a good meal. However, when I excused myself on the plea
+of being a little unwell, "Mein freund" was quite non-plussed. While
+he was still trying to extract information, unsuccessfully, from the
+others, I left the room after pocketing a slice of bread.
+
+Once in the outhouse I chose my time and, climbing up to the hole in
+the wall, squeezed myself through with difficulty, for it was only
+just large enough. When the sentry's back was turned I dropped to the
+ground on the other side, about ten feet below, making considerable
+noise. I was now past the line of barbed wire, but there still
+remained the ramparts to negotiate. Never having been able to see over
+this point from our quarters we had no means of ascertaining the drop
+to the ground below. The corner of the ramparts I was making for was
+under forty yards away, but it took me about three-quarters of an hour
+to get there, crawling on crackling dry leaves under the shadow of the
+wall. The slightest noise would probably have attracted the sentry's
+attention and caused him to switch on the electric light, which they
+all carry slung round their necks. Oh! what a noise those leaves made!
+Just before I got to the wall I heard rather a commotion outside the
+guardroom, and although expecting to get at least a night's start
+before my absence was discovered, concluded that I had already been
+missed. (Afterwards I found that this was indeed the case, as the
+German flying officer on leaving had told the commandant that I was
+unwell; a doctor was then sent up, but I could not be found.) Getting
+up, I ran to the wall and looked over. In the dusk I faintly
+distinguished some bushes below. The glance was not reassuring, but
+"the die was cast," and over I went. I shall always remember that
+horrible sensation of falling. It took longer than I expected to reach
+the ground. Instantaneously there flashed through my brain a formula I
+had learnt at school, _i.e._, that an object falling increases its
+velocity thirty-two feet per second. I now realised for the first time
+how true it was. The drop was somewhere between twenty and thirty
+feet. Just near the ground my fall was broken by my being suspended
+for the fraction of a second on some field telephone wires, which
+broke and deposited me in the centre of a laurel bush, which split in
+half with a crash. It is not so much the fall but the sudden stop
+which does the damage. My breath being knocked out of me and seeing
+several floating stars of great brilliance, I vaguely wondered if I
+were dead, but I was considerably relieved to find that this was not
+the case. No bones broken, only some bruises. As I was getting to my
+feet I heard some one coming down a gravel path which passed beside
+me. Crouching down, I saw it was a civilian, who proceeded to light a
+cigar and passed on. I followed suit by lighting my one and only
+cigarette, and after cutting a stick, entered a darkened street,
+externally a perfectly good Hun.
+
+But even German soldiers are subject to restrictions and I might be
+asked questions. Consequently, my one idea was to get out of the town
+as quickly as possible. I met two French women, to whom I explained my
+position, and asked the nearest way into the country. They were
+frightened and unwilling to talk at first, but when I opened my coat
+and showed them the British uniform underneath, they pointed to a road
+which I followed. Soon the town was left behind and I was making for
+the gun-flashes and crossing a turnip field. Swinging along at a good
+pace the turnip-tops whipped my boots and made quite a noise. Suddenly
+a challenge rang out from a small railway bridge. "_Halt! Wer da!_"
+(On these occasions it seems as if one's heart has been put to the
+wrong use, it being really fashioned to be a pendulum for a
+grandfather clock.) The next second an electric light was switched on,
+but I had already fallen among the turnips, endeavouring to make a
+noise like one (a turnip). Then ensued an interesting silence fraught
+with many possibilities. Did the turnip's voice deceive the Hun? At
+any rate the light was soon turned off, much to my relief; then
+quietly I slipped away. After about an hour's walking across country I
+came to what I supposed to be a stream, showing up in the moonlight,
+with a few bushes growing along the side. Walking parallel to it for a
+few yards and not seeing a bridge, I thought it might be quite
+shallow, so tested it with a stick. Imagine my pleasant surprise when
+I found that it was not water at all, but a narrow white concrete
+path, evidently newly made. I noticed that nearly all roads running
+parallel to the front had a very deep trench dug on the east (German)
+side. Presumably, these were later used considerably when we were
+engaged in shelling the roads. Soon I came to the Cambrai Canal, which
+had to be crossed, and as it was the middle of November it gave me the
+shivers even to look at the dark water. After walking some distance
+down the tow-path, I encountered a Hun. Though not feeling at all bold
+I said, "_G'nacht_," which I felt sounded feeble, though I knew it to
+be the correct thing in some parts of Germany. To this he replied,
+"_Abend_" (evening). (Quite a valuable lesson in the usual custom
+among soldiers.)
+
+Skirting a few houses and a timber yard I approached a large
+well-built iron railway bridge spanning the canal. Climbing over some
+barbed wire I cautiously mounted the embankment. Looking along the
+bridge I saw there were two lines separated by some arched iron
+girders. From recent experience I knew that this must be strongly
+guarded, but reasoned that if I closely followed a train I should in
+all probability find the line free for a few seconds. Presently a
+freight train came rumbling along, and I rushed after it in a whirl of
+air, in my haste almost being knocked down by the end carriages. As
+the bridge was rather long and the train going fast, in a very short
+time I was being left stranded. When I was nearing the other side I
+stopped an instant to listen. It was just as well I did. Not more than
+three yards away, on the other side of the ironwork, a man spoke in
+German and was immediately answered by another, who turned on his
+light and commenced walking towards the end of the bridge I was making
+for, to return to his old beat on my line. There was no time to lose,
+so rushing back on tip-toe and down the embankment I fell over the
+barbed wire at the bottom, which painfully impressed on me its
+disapproval of my conduct.
+
+After following the canal for a few hundred yards there seemed no
+alternative but to swim across, so in I went, greatcoat and all. It
+was awfully cold. At first my clothes and fleeced-lined flying boots
+held the air and supported me, so that I lay on the surface of the
+water as if bathing in the Dead Sea, feeling very ridiculous. But only
+too soon everything filled up and I felt like a stone. Swimming as
+silently as possible, I had almost reached the opposite bank, feeling
+very tired, when I saw something glisten just in front which looked
+very like a bayonet, and a man's voice shouted "_Hier_." Picture the
+situation: a dark but starry November night, Hun sentry guarding
+barges, and a poor wretch floundering about in the water, then you
+will not be surprised that my heart after jumping into my mouth,
+worked overtime again! The Hun thought I was a dog; I must be one
+without delay if I wished to preserve a whole skin, so after a
+spluttering growl I turned back with new energy, swimming like a dog
+and whining softly. After again calling to me several times he threw a
+few things in my direction, which fortunately went wide. I then swam
+round a barge and with a great effort pulled myself out of the water,
+rewarding the Hun, who was now calling a friend, with a final bark. I
+ran across a field with the water pouring from me. I did not think one
+could be so cold, an icicle was warm in comparison! With numb fingers
+I wrung some of the water out of my clothes, and with chattering teeth
+considered the situation. Here I was, still on the wrong side--the
+only thing left to try was a village bridge. Again following the
+tow-path I neared some lights, which proved to be a hospital, and
+found myself in an apparently unoccupied station-yard, among a number
+of large heaps. On raising a corner of a tarpaulin which covered the
+nearest I recognised the familiar wicker crates, which contained
+something heavy. It was an ammunition dump! I soon found the name of
+the station on the deserted platform--Manniers.
+
+As I was leaving the dump, thinking of a possible future, and what a
+lovely explosion one well-directed bomb would make, I heard some one
+coming towards me. At once hopping off the road I crouched against one
+of the shell heaps where the darkness was more dense, my weight
+causing the wicker to creak. But the seemingly deaf individual passed
+by and I breathed again. Entering the main village street at a good
+pace, whistling a German tune, I was accosted by two Huns carrying a
+heavy basket on a stick. One inquired of me the way to some
+headquarters. I dared not stop, so turning my head, growled out a
+sullen "_Ich weiss nicht_" (I don't know). They seemed grieved at my
+bad manners, but were soon left behind. Although it was very late a
+number of troops were still singing uproariously in the various
+estaminets which I passed. On turning a corner I saw the village
+bridge and on it a sentry box. While I stood in the dark shadow of a
+house a small party of Germans, carrying saddlery, overtook me.
+Tacking myself on casually behind some of them we all passed over the
+bridge quite happily, and feeling in a cheeky mood I wished the sentry
+"good evening."
+
+Once more I was passing swiftly over the country, devoutly hoping
+there would not be any more canals. Several hours passed uneventfully.
+Some of the concrete paths leading in the right direction afforded
+excellent walking. They were mostly new and appeared to be only laid
+on the mud without any foundation. On a small rise I came upon a
+trench system under construction (probably the now famous Hindenburg
+line), which I examined. The few dug-outs I saw were incomplete, the
+trenches rather wet and shallow and not yet sandbagged. After crossing
+two lines of more or less continuous trenches I inspected the wire
+entanglements, wooden posts (charred, so as not to show up in aerial
+photographs) and iron corkscrews which were already in position, but
+only a little fine and barbed wire as yet, which was quite easy to get
+through. Although the firing had died down it continued sufficiently
+to enable me to keep my direction. Just as I was leaving these
+trenches behind my progress was arrested by a sudden jerk, and I found
+myself lying face downwards full length in the mud. A carefully laid
+wire had tripped its first "Englaender"! I was now plastered with mud
+from head to foot, and getting up in a very bad temper determined that
+at least that portion of wire should not interfere with another
+Britisher. After a short struggle I succeeded in tearing it up and
+went on my way somewhat appeased.
+
+The front was now quite quiet, and after many falls, footsore and
+tired, I came to a large wood (the Bois de Logeost) a little before
+dawn. In this I hoped to find cover for the day, but it was full of
+transport, and many dim lights proclaimed the presence of huts. I had
+been walking parallel to it for some distance when a British aeroplane
+dropped some bombs too close to be pleasant, causing quite a stir in
+the wood, shortly followed by an anti-aircraft gun opening fire not
+far away. I have never felt so small in my life, and while tramping on
+in a dejected manner, in imagination I was flying once again over the
+lines, the occupied territory lying below me like a map: but in spite
+of the tranquillity of the scene (for in this pleasant dream not a gun
+was in action) I became conscious of a disturbing element somewhere,
+something was out of place. To what was it due? Then all at once I
+realised that it was all connected with an infinitesimal object which
+wandered aimlessly about among the German batteries, and yet attracted
+every one's attention. Vaguely I wondered what it could be? Then the
+dream slowly faded, and as reality took its place I knew that I was
+that atom! When things were quiet again I distinctly heard plonk,
+plonk, plonk, the sound made by hand grenades, rising from the lower
+ground in front, this was soon followed by the fainter cracking of a
+machine gun and a brilliant Verey light, which I concluded was from
+three to four miles away. All at once, just beside me, there was a
+blinding flash, immediately followed by a deafening roar and the
+screaming hiss of a shell, the latter lasting several seconds, then
+slowly dying away into the night with a sigh. One of the German
+heavies had fired from a neighbouring clump of trees. Had my skin been
+any looser I should certainly have jumped out of it. Very soon I heard
+the distant explosion of the bursting shell--Cr--ump, and then dashed
+off in the opposite direction.
+
+
+
+
+                              CHAPTER IV
+
+                                RETAKEN
+
+
+The country was very bare and the lines so close that there were no
+hay or straw stacks about. The stars were beginning to fade from the
+sky, so hastily retracing my steps for about a mile, in search of
+cover, I almost fell over a tiny straw heap in the middle of a field.
+It was close to a village, but as no tracks passed anywhere near it I
+decided that this should be my hiding place for the day. After eating
+the remains of the black bread, now a sloppy mass in my pocket, I
+emptied the water which still remained in my flying boots and placed
+them in a side of the heap to dry, just below the surface. Wrapping my
+slightly drier overcoat round my feet for warmth, I wormed my way into
+the centre, and pulled the straw after me. The bottom of the heap was
+wet and contained mice, which squeaked when my teeth stopped
+chattering for a few seconds. I tried meowing, but they were not taken
+in for long! Sleep was out of the question, and there was nothing else
+to do but watch the cold grey fingers of light creeping through the
+wet straw. From my knowledge of the front, I gathered that I had
+arrived north of my objective, where the Huns were expecting our next
+attack, and the trenches were strongly held. Had I a sporting chance
+or were the odds against me too great? If the latter was the case and
+it was impossible, I prayed that I might be recaptured before making
+the attempt the next night.
+
+The minutes passed like hours, but at last the sun rose, evidently
+very much against its will. About ten o'clock next morning I faintly
+heard the thud of horse's hoofs approaching at a canter from the
+direction of the village. At first I thought nothing of it, but as
+these grew rapidly louder and louder, my uneasiness increased and I
+lay perfectly still under the straw. The horse came straight to my
+heap, and stopped dead at the German word of command, "R-r-r-r-r"
+(whoa!). Soon the rider uttered an exclamation and, leaning over, drew
+out a flying boot, to my dismay, but as this was wet, muddy and old
+looking he soon threw it down again. In the meantime the horse kept
+sniffing and nibbling at the straw which thinly covered my face, and I
+felt inclined to repeat to myself an old nursery rhyme: "Fe, fi, fo,
+fum, I smell the blood of an Englishman!" As the brute continued
+blowing the straw from my face, I tried to make him desist by
+returning the compliment by blowing back at him. He jumped and threw
+up his head, but now his curiosity being thoroughly aroused returned
+to his explorations with renewed vigour, partly uncovering me. I did
+not move, but knew that the game was up when the rider drew his breath
+in sharply. Looking up I saw surprise written on every feature of the
+bearded Hun N.C.O. He was a thick-set man with a revolver holster at
+his belt. I had no chance of resistance, as the country was quite open
+and my boots were off, so sitting up I greeted him with a "_Gutten
+Morgen_." He saw that I was an English "_Flieger_" (airman), but
+firmly refused to believe that I was an officer. He told me I was near
+Achiet-le-Petit, and then motioned me to go with him to the village,
+which I did. (An account of the foregoing episode appeared in the
+German papers later.)
+
+We went straight to the village headquarters, where there were several
+officers spotlessly dressed in blue or field-grey, against which my
+tramp-like appearance formed a strange contrast. They were quite
+decent, with one exception, a sour-looking captain, and were rather
+amused than otherwise, even allowing a Frenchwoman to make me some
+coffee. When I remarked on the wonderful way in which the Germans had
+traced me from Cambrai, they laughed and said my discovery was purely
+accidental, the N.C.O. having been detailed to find some straw for the
+transport. I was sent back to Cambrai in a wagon with an armed guard
+of three, exclusive of the driver and the mounted N.C.O. I was very
+annoyed on being told that the latter would receive the Iron Cross,
+and tried to impress on them that my discovery was entirely due to the
+horse, who deserved a bran mash. It was bitterly cold and, on passing
+through every village, I was made to remove my coat to show the
+inhabitants that I was a prisoner. I was quite pleased when we arrived
+at our destination.
+
+The commandant received me with a growl, and I was taken to the
+guardroom, where the same Hun N.C.O. casually informed me that I was
+to be shot. In an unconvincing way I told myself this was nonsense.
+The next move was not at all reassuring. I was marched through the
+back door into a tiny courtyard, accompanied by the sergeant of the
+guard and several privates armed with rifles! I am glad to say that
+the bluff was soon over, and I was put into a half dark stone cell. In
+a short time I was fished out to see Lieutenant Schram, who told me
+that I was the first to escape from there, but that I should never get
+another opportunity. He went on to say that when my disappearance had
+been discovered the previous evening, it was thought that I had
+closely followed the flying officer who had asked me to dinner when he
+left through the main gate, until the broken wires were found. Men and
+trained dogs had then endeavoured to trace me, but that,
+unfortunately, they had all gone the wrong way!
+
+When I was taken back at the end of the interview, a sergeant-major
+and a corporal thought they would have some fun at my expense. They
+opened my cell door and then led me to a comparatively comfortable
+room close by, and asked me which I preferred. However, I upset their
+calculations by entering my original cell and sitting down. As the
+result of an argument which ensued I was put into the better room,
+where I fell asleep. This comfort was only short-lived, and soon, by
+order of the commandant, I was put into the original cell again. It
+snowed all the next evening, and when the sergeant brought me my
+watery supper, I asked if he would stand my boots by the guardroom
+fire that night as the fleece held such a quantity of water. He seemed
+surprised at my request, but said that he would ask. He soon returned
+and said that it could not be done. It was four days before I felt at
+all warm, my clothes drying on me all the time. I have since been
+told that Lieutenant Schram, while speaking of me later to other
+captured officers, asserted that he dried all my clothes for me. Yet
+this same gentleman during his first interrogation asked me why we
+English called them uncultured!
+
+On the afternoon of the fourth day I was ordered to get ready to
+proceed to Germany, as enough prisoners had been captured at the
+Beaumont Hamel show to make up a large draft. At the main entrance I
+found a group of about twenty officers, composed of eight or ten
+Zouaves and the remainder British. Then off we went to the station in
+high spirits, for it is not often that one gets a chance of a tour in
+Germany, _via_ France and Belgium, free of charge!
+
+
+
+
+                               CHAPTER V
+
+                               OSNABRUCK
+
+
+Our guards had mostly been selected from different regiments, on
+account of their being due for leave in Germany. The officer in charge
+travelled separately. He had recently been wounded, and had seen
+rather more of the British than he cared; in consequence he was almost
+human! Not yet being dry and now having no overcoat, I felt decidedly
+cold. We arrived late at St. Quentin and settled down for a long wait,
+but our good spirits were infectious and, besides, some of our number
+had with them a surplus of turnip jam, and we were allowed to sing.
+This we did with a vengeance, and it was indeed curious to hear the
+desolate waiting-room echoing the popular strains of: "Pack up your
+troubles in your old kit bag, and smile, smile, smile." This impromptu
+concert delighted the French, who joined in as best they could. Soon
+we had quite a little audience of solitary Huns, who peeped through
+the open door and listened to the "Mad English," open-mouthed. At
+last the express steamed in from the south-east and in quite an
+exhausted condition we were graciously shown in to second-class
+compartments in a way which clearly said "Second class is much too
+good for you."
+
+After a tedious journey, during which we received something to eat, we
+arrived at Cologne about eleven o'clock the next morning. The station
+contained almost every variety of Hun. These people represented the
+cowards who in 1914 had flung stones at and otherwise insulted those
+brave men of our old regular army, who stopped at this station, packed
+in cattle trucks like animals, mostly wounded and dying. Nearly two
+years of war have passed since then, bringing with them suffering and
+a certain refining influence which had not altogether been without its
+effect. Now, though most of them stared rudely, few showed signs of
+open hostility. Following our officer down some steps and winding
+subways, we were approaching a large restaurant, when a rather senior
+Hun officer ran after us, cursing us in German for not saluting him
+when we had passed him on the platform! One of the British replied,
+"_Nix verstand_" (_No compris_). Whereupon he went away thoroughly
+disgusted.
+
+One of our party, a major of the 9th Zouaves, who spoke German very
+well, asked if we might have some refreshments, to which the officer
+acquiesced. We entered a large and almost unoccupied room separated
+from the main dining-hall by a glass screen, and took up our positions
+at a table by the window. Immediately outside towered the famous
+cathedral, shutting out most of the sky, the spires and countless
+pinnacles showing up to great advantage in the sunshine. Soon a waiter
+appeared with a menu containing a list of weird dishes, the most
+popular of which was a very thin slice of sausage reposing on a very
+large slice of black bread. This cost one mark (but perhaps they saw
+us coming!). Great excitement was caused when some one found it was
+possible to obtain goose, but as our very limited supply of money was
+almost exhausted this had to be ruled out. The fish salad when it
+arrived was _peculiarly_ nasty. It was almost raw and had an
+overpowering flavour of mud! Beer did not seem to be allowed, but a
+tip soon settled that, and we all received large glasses of light
+lager. The people in the hall were a funny-looking crowd but quite
+amusing to watch, mostly drinking quantities of beer and regarding us
+with sullen curiosity through the glass screen. The majority of the
+men were ugly and square-headed, with closely-cropped hair, reminding
+one of a group of convicts. Some of the girls, however, gave us
+encouraging smiles.
+
+When the bills were being settled up, there strode in an angry German
+major, complete with helmet and sword, who entered into a violent
+conversation with our unfortunate officer, who stood at the salute
+most of the time. After making a noise like a dog fight he departed
+with a final gesticulation in our direction. We did not know what the
+row was about, but suppose that the officer in charge had been thus
+strafed in public, either for bringing us there or allowing us to have
+beer. At any rate, we were hurried out to await our train on the
+platform. A small circle soon formed round us, largely made up of
+sailors, whom we concluded must be on indefinite leave. As our train
+was steaming up a civilian gave vent to his feelings by fixing his
+evil eyes upon us and at the same time moving his lips with a deadly
+purpose, cursing us inaudibly. I should never have thought a face
+could express such condensed hatred. He must have been conversing with
+his Satanic Master. However, as we only smiled sweetly in return, he
+cannot have felt much satisfaction. Before getting into our train we
+spent our last few _pfennigs_ buying sweets at an automatic slot
+machine. The acquired sweets were wrapped in a paper covering, on
+which different notices were printed, the majority were to this
+effect: "Remember the shameful _Baralong_ outrage, in punishment for
+which our airships shall devastate the Eastern Counties of England and
+destroy London." We showed this to our guards, who firmly believed
+that it would shortly come to pass, and could not understand our
+amusement. A few minutes out from Cologne, as we went rushing over a
+long iron bridge, we celebrated our crossing the Rhine by winding up
+our watches and singing the popular song: "When we've wound up the
+watch on the Rhine."
+
+In the late afternoon the train passed through Essen, the blast
+furnaces casting a lurid light on the surrounding country. Travelling
+northwards we ran into snow, which, when we alighted was quite deep.
+This was our destination, Osnabrueck. At first it looked as if we
+should have to walk to the camp, but the German officer was, luckily,
+able to hire two brakes, and away we went. Osnabrueck is an old town
+with a population of about 60,000. We drove past numbers of children
+and dogs revelling in the first winter sports, utterly regardless of
+their country's serious condition. On our arrival an officer and
+several N.C.O.'s took all particulars and descriptions. It was only
+then that I discovered, to my astonishment, that my eyes were blue.
+Next we found a hot shower-bath in store for us, during which
+procedure all our clothes were taken away on the excuse that they were
+to be disinfected. We enjoyed the bath very much and were longing for
+a clean change, but were disgusted to find that this was not
+forthcoming, and that we had to put on the same torn and muddy clothes
+once more, which the Huns had only removed to search. We were then
+locked in a room for ten days and told that we were in quarantine, no
+account being taken of the three weeks or a month that some of us had
+already spent in the German lines. The whole thing was a farce. We
+could then buy a change of underclothing, and daily consumed
+prodigious quantities of Dutch chocolate, also procurable from the
+canteen (which I afterwards bought in Holland for one-tenth of the
+price). Some of the British who had been in the camp for some time
+managed to get books and a little food in to us. A great deal of our
+time was occupied in making out orders for things we wanted from home,
+edibles taking by far the most important part. Every evening after
+supper we always drank the King's health in tea. Though the quality of
+the beverage was weak, our loyalty had never been stronger. When extra
+dull our home-made band played some rousing selection; my special
+instrument required much skill, and consisted of the dustbin lid and a
+poker. The climax was reached one day when the sentry entered with a
+paper from the canteen, announcing that the British claimed to have
+shot down two Zeppelins in flames over London.
+
+Eventually the tenth day passed and we were free to go in with the
+others, who at once made us welcome. Owing to the monotony of camp
+life it is very difficult to write a consecutive account of the daily
+routine, which would be of any interest to the reader. I shall
+therefore only outline certain points under various headings, which I
+venture to hope may not prove a source of boredom, judging from the
+numerous questions contained in letters of enquiry directed to me.
+
+ACCOMMODATION.--The main three-storey building was a converted German
+artillery barracks, with the gravelled courtyards used for exercising
+divided by a disused riding-school. The prisoners consisted of about
+seventy-five French, living on the ground floor, and eighty-five
+British, mostly R.F.C., taken at the Somme, living on the second
+floor, and from one hundred and fifty to two hundred Russians on the
+third. The rooms each contained from four to ten beds, according to
+the size, which we usually stacked two deep so that they should take
+up as little space as possible. With the aid of wall paper, deck
+chairs, tablecloths and the like, obtainable at the canteen, together
+with pictures from home, some of the rooms looked very cosy indeed.
+Each one contained a stove, which at first we were able to keep well
+supplied, as it was possible to buy coal in addition to the ration,
+though latterly there was a considerable shortage. Mattresses were
+either spring or made of old straw, and sometimes contained little
+creepy-crawlies. My record evening catch numbered twenty-five, and
+this little collection afforded some exciting races. By the way, I
+might add that if one puts a match to them they go off "pop." The
+Germans rendered slight assistance, but the Keating's contained in our
+parcels soon got them under way. The sanitary conditions were not
+good, but I must admit to having seen a little disinfectant. Part of
+the time we were allowed a common room of our own, but latterly had to
+share one with the Russians. Washing was sent to the town weekly. A
+medical orderly was on the premises during the day, and a doctor came
+two or three times a week. Before leaving we were inoculated against
+smallpox, typhoid and cholera. This was a most obnoxious proceeding
+which took place every six or seven days, until the doctor had jabbed
+us all six times in the chest with his confounded needle. French and
+Russian orderlies were provided, each detailed to look after one or
+two rooms.
+
+RECREATION.--At first it was possible to play football, but that was
+soon stopped. Rackets, boxing and a sort of cricket were played in the
+riding-school; once or twice a week we organised a concert or a dance,
+theatrical costumes being hired from the town on parole. The Russians
+had a really first-class mandoline and balalaika band, with which they
+played many of their waltzes and curiously attractive folk-songs.
+During these concerts a certain Englishman solemnly sang some new
+Russian songs, learnt by heart, of which he did not understand a word.
+A young Russian used to make up into a delightful girl, who, with a
+partner, danced a cake-walk, accompanied by the blare of their new
+brass band. Mandolines were soon in vogue and most rooms could boast
+of several. As we were mostly beginners the resulting noise is best
+left to the imagination. Whist drives, bridge tournaments, etc.,
+helped to pass the time, and a good many of us improved the shining
+hour by learning French, Russian or German in exchange for lessons in
+our own language.
+
+The winter brought with it many snow fights, and a successful slide
+which I started, though popular, resulted in many bumps and bruises.
+The bottom of the slide led into some barbed wire--which was decidedly
+dangerous. One fatal day I finished the course with three Russians and
+a fat Australian on the top of me, unintentionally making a
+first-class broom; first I passed over a sharp stone, and then came to
+a stop on the barbed wire fence. (Some of the marks caused by this
+episode remain with me to this day.) We had one or two nice walks
+weekly, on parole, escorted by a German officer. One day, during a
+long walk through some pine woods, we had reached the top of a hill
+when we came upon a large slab of rock, about four feet thick, resting
+on two smaller ones, with a broad crack right through it near the
+centre. The German officer told us a legend about this, which affirms
+that at this spot somewhere about the eighth century Emperor
+Charlemagne met some heathen chieftain, who having already heard of
+his feats of strength promised to become a Christian should he be able
+to split this rock. The emperor took up a sledge hammer and with one
+tremendous blow broke the rock in two. (He must have been _some_ man!)
+
+TREATMENT.--When I first arrived the commandant, who was a major, was
+quite popular, granting all reasonable requests and not bothering us
+the whole time, consequently we did our best to avoid trouble; but we
+were in Hunland, therefore this state of affairs could not last long.
+The commandant was soon replaced by a colonel with a white beard and a
+benevolent aspect, though in reality he was inclined to be vicious and
+most unreasonable. He was soon followed by two junior officers,
+Lieutenants Briggs and Rosenthal. The former was an officer of the
+Reserve, one of the nicest Germans I have ever met, and I can almost
+safely say a gentleman. He did all that he could to avoid friction and
+make things run smoothly. Rosenthal was a Regular officer and a
+typical Hun, who was sent round the various camps to make things
+generally uncomfortable for the inmates, in which capacity he was a
+great success. He made promises but very rarely fulfilled any, smiling
+to your face and at the same time arranging to have you punished. He
+crept along the passages in thick carpet shoes after lights out,
+spying on our movements, and was twice discovered listening at a
+keyhole to the conversation. After having been there a month I spent a
+fortnight in solitary confinement for my Cambrai escape, at which I
+cannot complain, and came out on Christmas Day. Later on, while at
+this camp, I carried out two sentences, each of three days, for
+slight offences.
+
+PARCELS AND MONEY.--We received parcels of food and clothing from six
+to eight weeks after first writing for them. For the most part these
+came regularly, only a few being lost. This was a good thing for us,
+the camp authorities often providing for a meal only some raw fish and
+garlic or uneatable gherkins and dry black bread! Trunks, suit cases,
+and other heavy articles came by the American Express and were longer
+on their way. Parcels of food were opened, and the tins taken intact
+to one's individual locker, where it could be obtained most mornings
+at a given hour. As required the tins were then opened by the Huns and
+the contents placed in jars or dishes, which one must provide before
+it can be taken away. Sometimes whole rooms decided to mess together,
+sharing all their parcels, but more often two or three friends
+arranged their own little mess.
+
+Letters at first came quickly, but were often delayed by the German
+censors at this camp, who, I believe, dealt with almost all British
+communications to prisoners in Germany. Money is obtained by signing a
+cheque, which is cashed in a week or two by the American Express. Even
+after America's entry into the war money could still be obtained
+through this company (which is, I believe, German owned). German daily
+papers are procurable at most camps, and usually contain a more or
+less intact British official communique, which is translated by some
+German scholar and posted up. A map of the front is usually kept by
+the prisoners and corrected from time to time. Christmas was
+celebrated by every one and the canteen _Weisswein_ soon bought up.
+The Germans put an illuminated Christmas tree in the dining-hall, but
+unfortunately counteracted their display of good feeling by decorating
+the large portraits of the Kaiser and Hindenburg, who stared down at
+us from the walls and quite spoilt our already nasty food. On New
+Year's Night we collected on the stairs, and joining hands with a few
+French and Russians, sang "Auld Lang Syne," and scampered back to bed
+before the wily Huns appeared on the scene.
+
+One day when drawing our parcels we received some little cardboard
+packets of compressed dates as usual, but this time a small white
+strip of paper was pasted on the outside of each bearing the words,
+"Produce of Mesopotamia under British occupation." This must have been
+pleasant reading for the Huns. At last, one morning we were informed
+that in three days' time we were to proceed to an "All British" camp
+at Clausthal. Before our departure our Allies gave two farewell
+concerts in our honour, which were a great success, for when we left
+they knew that they were losing most of the "life" of the camp.
+
+Living on our floor with a room to himself was a French captain of
+extremely doubtful character; he was a heavily built, bearded man of
+middle age whom nobody liked. I was told that in civil life he was a
+professional agitator! Now he confined his energies to making trouble
+between the different nationalities. He was always hanging about where
+he wasn't wanted, poking his nose into other people's business, and
+what was even more suspicious, he appeared to be on the best of terms
+with the Germans. He wore a long row of medals, which were inclined to
+change from day to day. Some senior French officers inquired if he had
+the right to wear them, but he refused to recognise their authority.
+Some Britishers had also been caught in a mysterious way just before
+attempting to escape. The last night before our departure we thought
+we would at least show him that he was not popular. Over a dozen of us
+burst into his room, armed to the teeth, and holding him on to his bed
+covered him from head to foot with treacle, jam, coffee grounds, ashes
+and water, at the same time doing him no bodily injury. I expect he
+thought his plight more serious than it really was, for the whole
+place echoed with his shouts for help. Unfortunately for him the
+French on the floor above, being greatly pleased at the proceedings,
+only turned over and went to sleep again. When, after a few seconds,
+we bolted to our rooms he rushed down to the orderly's quarters,
+exclaiming, "I am dying--I am covered with blood!" This sounded
+terrible, but when a match was struck revealing nothing but treacle
+and jam they could scarcely conceal their merriment. Later on the Huns
+arrived and succeeded in obtaining most of our names, but even they
+thought the affair quite a good joke. The next morning most of the
+French collected quietly near the gate to give us a "send off," but
+the commandant, after screaming and being very rude to every one had
+them locked in their rooms. He turned his back on us when we left,
+only Lieutenant Briggs having the decency to salute.
+
+
+
+
+                              CHAPTER VI
+
+                               CLAUSTHAL
+
+
+It was just like house moving. The heavy luggage was sent in advance,
+but we preferred to carry our dearest belongings. Many of us must have
+resembled fully-equipped pedlars or super-caddis-worms carrying their
+houses on their backs, but in our case these were not composed of
+sticks or dead leaves, but provisions, gramophones, mandolines, pots,
+kettles, etc., tied together with string, the rattle of which appeared
+to amuse some of the civil population. Some time after leaving
+Osnabrueck the train stopped at an out-of-the-way station near
+Hildesheim, close to a group of men working on the line. At once a
+solitary khaki-clad figure detached itself from the rest and came
+towards us at the run. It turned out to be a British Tommy bubbling
+over with pleasure at seeing some of his own race to speak to at last,
+after having Russians and Huns for his companions for many months. We
+gave him a summary of the latest news and all kinds of tinned foods.
+The other Russian prisoners soon followed him, looking half starved,
+and clamoured for bread, which we had just time to give them when a
+bad tempered Hun drove them back to their work.
+
+Towards evening we passed through Hameln? (better known to us as
+"Hamelin"), but saw no signs of the Pied Piper. Now there was a man
+who was not brought into the world for nothing, but used his genius to
+the destruction of small Huns! The higher the train climbed into the
+Hartz Mountains the deeper became the snow. From the dimly-lighted
+carriages we could sometimes see the dark outline of high wooded hills
+between the snow flurries. A little before midnight we stopped with a
+jerk and were told to "_Aus_." As I followed the others into a
+restaurant winter garden affair, five minutes after our arrival, I was
+delighted to hear several small gramophones already playing
+"Bric-a-brac" and other selections from musical comedies, each
+insisting that its was the only tune worth listening to. Owing to the
+conditions escape was out of the question; the Germans did not
+therefore worry much--in fact, coming up in the train a rather nice
+N.C.O. at last yielded to my entreaties and sang a verse of the Hymn
+of Hate, accompanying himself on my mandoline.
+
+After standing two hours in a queue at the bar I managed to procure
+some quite good wine which made us feel almost at home. For the rest
+of that night it was almost possible to imagine oneself free, but
+snowed up. The next morning, on hearing that the camp was about two
+miles away, we inquired if some of the larger suit cases might be left
+behind as the walking was so heavy, to be brought up later, at an
+extra charge, by the station sleigh, which came up to the camp every
+day. But we might have known that it would only be a waste of breath
+asking the Huns to help us in any way. (Later, when some very senior
+British officers arrived, bound for this camp, they received
+identically the same treatment.) After an uphill struggle we reached
+the camp, and were kept standing quite unnecessarily for
+three-quarters of an hour in a snowstorm before being admitted to the
+dining-hall. On entering I was lucky enough to run straight into an
+Australian flight commander, who had often taken me up in my observing
+days at my first squadron, then at a village behind Ypres.
+
+The camp is well situated, being almost surrounded by pine forests,
+which cover most of the Hartz Mountains. If the day is at all clear a
+high and rather rounded hill is visible to the eastward, conspicuous
+for its bleakness, standing well above the dark intervening fir-clad
+hills. This is the Brocken, the highest mountain in Northern Germany,
+on the summit of which Goethe's Faust was evolved. It is difficult to
+realise that it is, roughly, 5,000 feet above sea level, or the camp
+2,000. The ascent in this part from the foot hills being gradual, the
+surrounding country is not so imposing as one would expect. Outside
+the camp is a small picturesque lake, which was frozen over most of
+the time. On a clear evening it was fascinating to watch the superb
+soaring of the buzzards. It seemed as if their telescopic eyes could
+make out the wings on some of our tunics, for with a jeering cry they
+would commence gliding in a vast sweeping circle with scarcely a
+movement of their wings, every feather under perfect control, until at
+length they disappeared into the endless blue. We still have a lot to
+learn, but talk of the "homing instinct," if only a few aeroplanes had
+been handy I know which would have made the quickest non-stop flight
+to "Blighty."
+
+The next day a number of Belgian officers left to take up their abode
+in the quarters vacated by us in Osnabrueck, many of them resplendent
+in their tasselled caps, and a few wearing clanking swords which they
+had been allowed to retain in recognition of the gallant way they had
+defended some of the Liege and Antwerp forts. With them went two
+Belgian officers, who, curiously enough, could not speak their lingo.
+This was not surprising, however, as their real names were Captain
+Nicholl, R.F.C., and Lieutenant Reid, R.N. It appeared they intended
+to jump the train before reaching their destination and have a try for
+the Dutch border. German trains often go slowly and stop, but as luck
+would have it this one, as we afterwards heard, refused to do anything
+of the sort. Whether Captain Nicholl succeeded in getting off I do not
+know, but Lieutenant Reid, seeing discovery imminent, jumped through
+the carriage window and broke his ankles. They were both taken to
+Osnabrueck and Nicholl was sent back under arrest. After three weeks
+Lieutenant Reid returned, lame, but quite cheery. As he was under
+arrest, however, we could not learn much of their treatment, though it
+was common knowledge that he had left hospital _very_ soon, and was
+made to walk up from the station as best he could. His sentence was
+lengthened by some days on the charge of answering his wrong name at a
+roll call on arrival at Osnabrueck, but as he was quite unable to stand
+this was obviously a fabrication.
+
+When we had been there about ten days a lot more British officers
+arrived from Friedburg, where they had received quite good treatment.
+Many of the prisoners at this camp had been taken at Mons, La Cateau
+and Ypres, and were consequently a little out of date. They could
+hardly realise what a "Somme barrage" was like, and were therefore
+known as the "Bow and Arrow" men! On the journey to Clausthal two of
+them managed to jump from the train and got clear away. About this
+time five Italian officers were warned to leave the next day. The
+preceding night, after supper, Colonel Bond (K.O.Y.L.I.), after a
+short speech, proposed the toast "_Viva Italia_," which we drank in
+canteen _Weisswein_, or imitation port, to which a senior Italian
+officer enthusiastically replied with a "_Viva Inghilterra_." After
+their departure the camp contained British only, the remaining number
+of officers being a little over three hundred.
+
+ACCOMMODATION.--The principal building, in which about half of us
+lived, was a _Kurhaus_, or small hydro, in peace time, with a large
+dining-hall at one end. The smallest bedrooms were occupied by one or
+two senior officers, while the remainder held about half a dozen. A
+shower-bath was on the premises. The rest of us were quartered in
+three temporary wooden barracks, where most of the rooms were rather
+over-crowded, holding from six to eight fellows.
+
+RECREATION.--At a portion of the grounds was a fairly steep incline
+and on this we made a short toboggan run, banking the snow up steeply
+at the turn to avoid going through the barbed wire. In many instances
+it must have been amusing to watch a small sleigh being steered by a
+novice, with fat individuals sitting on the top of him, trying to
+avoid the young trees, usually without any success. Unfortunately for
+me I had a nasty knack of always being in the worst crashes. It is
+impossible to find a more effective way of destroying boots than
+continually steering with one's feet. Other people displayed their
+extensive knowledge of winter sports by ski-ing, or rather lying on
+their backs, unintentionally waving their skis in the air. This soon
+had to be abandoned, however, as the weather soon became uncertain,
+often changing from a hard frost to a violent thaw every two or three
+days.
+
+A naval officer in my barrack received a miniature billiard-table,
+which became immensely popular. Cards, roulette, ping-pong and chess
+greatly assisted in passing the time. We also had quite a good camp
+library, the books mostly having been received from home. I often
+heard it remarked that life there was one long queue, and it was not
+far wrong. Often one passed the morning waiting one's turn for the
+"tin room," or newly arrived parcels, while soon after lunch it was
+customary to see the more patient individuals already lining up chairs
+and settling down to their books, to wait for hot water which was sold
+at tea time. All this may sound most enjoyable, but I will now
+endeavour to explain a little of the wonderful system then in vogue at
+this camp, the only object of which seemed to be to remind you in an
+objectionable manner that you were a prisoner on every possible
+occasion.
+
+TREATMENT.--When we first arrived the commandant was not so bad, but
+after several visits from corps headquarters at Hanover, he resigned
+his post, it is said, on the grounds that he could not treat British
+officers like common criminals, as he was supposed to. I think this is
+highly probable, though I cannot vouch for the truth of the assertion,
+it being only hearsay. He was replaced by a fat and rather harmless
+dug-out captain, who proved to be only a pompous figurehead. The camp
+was entirely run by the second in command, Lieutenant Wolfe. In
+England persons of this type are so rarely met with that our language
+does not contain the necessary words to describe them adequately. In
+Germany they are comparatively common, therefore, collectively they
+may be put down as belonging to the "super-swine class"! Wolfe was
+arrogance personified. He possessed a closely-cropped bullet head, and
+a round, somewhat bloated pale face, near the centre of which gleamed
+two small, cold, calculating blue eyes; the whole effect so strongly
+resembled a white pig that among ourselves he was usually known as
+"pig face." He belonged to a reserve Hanoverian regiment, and was a
+schoolmaster by profession. It is small wonder that children under
+such authority never learn to know the true meaning of the word
+"kultur." Somehow he knew about the treacling affair at our last camp,
+for after getting our names from Osnabrueck, he strained every nerve to
+get us court-martialled and punished. Two or three times a week we
+criminals had to assemble outside his room at an appointed hour. After
+a long wait "My Lord" strolled in, usually an hour late, walking very
+slowly, chewing a cigar. At first he only produced a small packet of
+papers, on most of which our individual statements were written, and
+asked absurd questions through an interpreter. But as time went on the
+case assumed larger proportions, and the bundle of nonsense increased
+to an enormous size. At almost every visit we had to sign some new
+document certifying that we understood the latest communication on
+the subject from headquarters. After much hard work "pig face"
+achieved his object, and we were warned to attend a court-martial at
+Hanover. However, this is worthy of a separate chapter.
+
+One day an impossible staff captain arrived from Hanover to inspect
+the camp. He was a large, arrogant bully, who brought with him two
+detectives for the purpose of searching our rooms and kit for
+forbidden articles. We will not waste time discussing his manners; he
+had none. The detectives seemed quite decent, and therefore cannot
+have been properly dehumanised by the powers that be. In German camps
+it is forbidden to sit or lie on one's bed during the day, unless one
+has reported sick at roll call. This captain suddenly entered a room
+in our barrack and surprised a Scotsman lying on his bed reading a
+book. Seeing that the culprit had his clothes on, he screamed out such
+a stream of unintelligible curses and threats, that had a similar
+noise taken place at the Zoo, I am sure the keepers would have rushed
+out to stop the monkey fight. The Scotsman waited until this torrent
+had somewhat abated, then slowly getting to his feet, he drawled out
+in a bewildered way, "And how's your faither!" It is doubtful whether
+the startled captain understood this kind inquiry or not, but he
+rushed out of the room and, grabbing a sentry's bayonet, returned and
+stuck it in the boards at his feet. Ours was the next room he
+favoured. Without the semblance of a knock he burst in, and as nothing
+of importance had been found during the search, swaggered up and down
+in a most offensive manner with his nose in the air. In a few seconds
+he came to a stop beside me and shouted that he wished me to stand to
+attention, half dressed as I was (having just been searched). This was
+just about the limit, so pretending not to understand what he meant I
+turned round and busied myself with my clothing, at the same time
+humming softly to myself the air of "Pack up your troubles," to
+relieve my feelings and stifle a desire to give him one under the jaw.
+On a word of command two scared sentries appeared, having been ordered
+to take me to the guardroom immediately. The usually harmless
+commandant was so frightened that he rolled his eyes and screamed
+after me, when exhaustion put an end to the captain's song. It was
+pitiable to see two such men possessing not an atom of self-control
+between them, but it was not so amusing as one might think. It
+certainly looked as if I should be murdered without delay. I was put
+into a room adjoining that occupied by the main guard, where I
+remained for three hours. During this period I got into conversation
+with some of the soldiers and was surprised at the bitter way they
+spoke of Lieutenant Wolfe, so much so that if he returned to the front
+I should be inclined to think that the quarter where his greatest
+danger lay was not in front but behind.
+
+When I had the room to myself I spent the time exploring for useful
+articles. My oft-interrupted search resulted in the discovery of a
+heap of things in the far corner. At length an officer arrived and
+informed me that I should only receive three days' "_stuben_"--arrest
+(solitary confinement). After which I was released. On re-entering the
+camp I did my best to look innocent, though, as luck would have it, I
+was really the richer by a couple of maps, a compass and some candles!
+One of the orderlies in the camp was a cobbler, but though the Huns
+frequently assured us they would provide him with the necessary tools,
+it took two months for their promise to materialise. During this
+period my already patched boots threatened to give out altogether. I
+wrote a note to the commandant, explaining that I was daily expecting
+boots from England, but as these appeared to have been delayed, asked
+that I might be allowed to order some canvas shoes at the canteen in
+the meantime. The next day the interpreter handed me the answer:
+"Order leather from England, and have the boots resoled." I could not
+help smiling, and casually remarked that it was worse than useless.
+Whereupon he snapped, "What, you say that the commandant's note is
+useless? All right, I will you report."
+
+In due course the usual notice was posted up to the effect "That the
+English Ober-Lieutenant Gerald Knight would for gross insolence the
+next three days in arrest spend." Usually, roll call took place
+outside the main building, and as it generally meant standing in water
+or melting snow, was not particularly pleasant. Wolfe very often
+managed to take these parades, and did not miss this excellent
+opportunity for showing his authority. After arriving late he would
+stroll up and down the line, hands in pockets, looking as dignified as
+possible, always wasting time. "_Appel_," when properly conducted,
+never lasted more than ten minutes or a quarter of an hour. On one
+occasion, Wolfe, who was well protected against the cold, kept us
+standing in a blizzard for an hour and a half, during which time he
+counted us five or six times, obviously for his own amusement. It was
+bad enough to have to stand there oneself, but it was much more
+annoying to watch our senior officers, majors, colonels, and a
+major-general, awaiting the pleasure of a conceited German lieutenant.
+Almost every day some new order was issued, for the most part
+affecting little things, for example--stating that in future no food
+would be allowed in the rooms. A few days later it was not allowed in
+the cupboards standing in the passages. Soon it was only allowed in
+the dining-hall, where the accommodation was quite inadequate. One day
+two fellows were quietly walking down a path near the wire, when a
+sentry raised his rifle and threatened to shoot them if they did not
+at once go further from the wire! They refused to move, and told the
+sentry that they had a perfect right there. Whereupon the man at last
+lowered his rifle. On a complaint being made, Lieutenant Wolfe,
+knowing that few people were about, ingeniously squashed the case by
+refusing to take the matter up unless six witnesses were produced.
+There was a second lieutenant, junior to Wolfe (commonly known as the
+Worm!), who arrived after receiving promotion from the ranks. He was
+rather a miserable sort of person, inclined to follow Wolfe's example
+in most things. He was for ever on the prowl and it never occurred to
+him to knock before entering a room. Once he came into our room and,
+assisted by two guards, removed the mirror, shaving tackle, hair
+brushes, etc., from the window, placing them on the wash-hand stand in
+the darkest corner of the room. After this performance he drew himself
+up sedately and exclaimed, "That is the way we do things in Germany!"
+These little incidents are most annoying at any time, but especially
+so when one is wearing boots possessing good kicking qualities.
+
+It was not until May that the snow finally disappeared and we were
+treated to a spell of warm weather, during which every one did their
+best to get sunburnt, and set to work on the new tennis court we had
+permission to make.
+
+Lizards and frogs appeared from nowhere and endeavoured to inform us
+that spring was approaching. It is curious the way camp life again
+makes one childish and easily amused. For instance, it was quite a
+common occurrence to see a small crowd of fellows looking excitedly at
+something. On closer investigation it in most cases turned out to be a
+toad or a worm. As it became dry underfoot we were able to go out for
+walks on parole with a German officer. The stout commandant usually
+took us, and not only did he make himself quite agreeable, but also
+chose some very pretty paths among the various pine woods. One
+afternoon two fellows succeeded in cutting the outside wire in broad
+daylight and getting into the woods unobserved. Seeing his opportunity
+a tall Canadian, named Colquhoun, hastily gathered up his valuables
+and dived through the inviting gap in the wire (which had been
+cleverly cut behind some young fir trees and up beside a post). He was
+just disappearing into the woods at record speed (the sentry's back
+being still turned) when he was seen by some children playing on a
+hillock a little way off. They at once made a noise, and several of
+them rushed down to tell the sentry. That man, however, was much too
+grand to listen to "kids" talking nonsense, so drove them off with
+many threats and violent gestures. When the escape was discovered,
+green-uniformed soldiers of Jaeger regiments and mounted foresters
+scoured the woods for nearly two days without any success. Shortly
+after a notice was posted up stating that when the escaped officers
+were recaptured, they would in all probability be tried by
+court-martial for breaking their parole in looking for hiding places
+when out for walks; this, needless to say, was all nonsense, the
+officers in question being miles away by that time.
+
+This notice could not be regarded in any other light than that of an
+insult to British officers in general, causing much resentment. All
+future walks were voluntarily given up, and at evening "_appel_" all
+parole cards, without exception, were returned to the Huns by mutual
+consent, to avoid any insinuations of this sort in the future. After
+being out for about a fortnight the outlaws were all recaptured and
+taken to Stroehen, where I afterwards met them. The first two put up a
+very good show, being recaptured in an exhausted condition by a road
+guard, twenty odd kilometres from the frontier, much to their disgust.
+My friend, the Canadian, fought a good fight against an unkind fate.
+While washing in a stream one night he was taken by a man with a
+revolver looking for an escaped Russian prisoner. He was then put into
+prison at a men's camp, where he succeeded in obtaining some
+wire-cutters from other Britishers. Forcing his way through the
+skylight into a dark and rainy night, he dropped to earth, cut the
+wire and was again free. The drop previous to cutting the wire had,
+however, damaged his compass, which stuck and led him south instead of
+west. Three days later he was taken near a bridge over a river by men
+and trained dogs, and transferred to a town prison. There I believe he
+received quite decent food, for which he was very thankful. During the
+late afternoon some children came to annoy him by shouting rude
+remarks from the passage. Even these little wretches were of some
+use, for at their departure they touched something on the outside of
+his door which jingled, and turned out to be a bunch of keys, which he
+was able to get possession of by pulling them through the sliding
+panel used by the guard for spying on the prisoner. When it was dark
+the adventurer produced the keys and by dint of much labour succeeded
+in opening his own cell and walking out.
+
+At the back of one of the nearer buildings he discovered a bicycle,
+which he appropriated without a second thought. Having discovered his
+whereabouts he struck north to get into his original line, and was
+unfortunately discovered by some N.C.O.'s the next day in almost a
+starving condition repairing his bicycle in a shed. After such an
+attempt as this it is indeed hard to return to serve one's sentence at
+a camp prison or fortress, knowing full well that, although having
+done one's utmost, even the slightest official recognition is out of
+the question. After the second escape the Hun in charge of the men's
+camp 'phoned to Clausthal, stating that the officer had been
+recaptured. Wolfe hearing the joyous news started out to bring back
+the truant as a lesson to others. "But when he got there the cupboard
+was bare," so he returned to the "Hartz-Gebirge" empty-handed and
+disconsolate. The only really decent German at the camp appeared to be
+an "_aspirant_," or first class warrant officer, who treated us quite
+fairly when opportunity offered; however, his superiors saw to it that
+this was not often.
+
+PARCELS.--These arrived fairly well, but were periodically hoarded up
+by the Huns for a week or ten days, where we could not get them
+without any previous warning. When drawing food all the tins had to be
+left behind until wanted for immediate consumption. It was therefore
+very difficult to lay in a supply against such emergencies. During
+these periods most messes determined, if possible, to have a meal of
+sorts at tea-time. Gradually, as the provisions got lower and lower,
+the menu read somewhat as follows: Tea (no milk or sugar); very
+limited black bread, thinly spread with soup essence, or _cafe au
+lait_ (when the dripping, lard or potted meat had finally vanished).
+The meal itself was rather nauseating, but afterwards it was most
+gratifying to be able to say that you had had tea! When this playful
+little "strafe" was removed by an order from Hanover the accumulated
+parcels nearly caused the death of the Germans working in the
+distributing room. Letters were very slow in arriving. Once a general,
+while inspecting the camp, entered the parcel room, where he saw an
+English captain assisting with the sorting of the parcels. On finding
+that he spoke German well the general advised him to devote his spare
+time to the further study of that language, which he said would be
+very useful to him later. The captain was notorious for saying exactly
+what he thought, and be hanged to the consequences. His reply must
+have been more than the German bargained for: "Sir, I do not intend to
+waste my time learning a dead language!" It is probable that the
+general had had previous dealings with the British, and therefore
+possessed a sense of humour so rare to the Teuton, for he passed on
+without awarding the expected punishment.
+
+
+
+
+                              CHAPTER VII
+
+                COURT-MARTIALLED! AND PROUD OF IT, TOO!
+
+
+It is not usual to boast of the fact that one has been
+court-martialled, but I would not have missed this experience for
+anything. Early in the morning of May 15th, 1917, we twelve
+gaol-birds, after being carefully searched, left for the station
+escorted by eight guards. During the march I began softly humming a
+tune, but was at once silenced by an angry sentry, who told me that no
+noise of any sort was allowed. Turning to the N.C.O. I remarked that
+although he appeared to be in charge of the party he had not objected
+to my behaviour, and added that this seemed almost as if the private
+was exceeding his duty. This appealed to the dignity of his position,
+and although he evidently did not like me, he told the sentry off. On
+reaching the station we had an unpleasant surprise, for there,
+awaiting us on the platform, was our old friend, Wolfe.
+
+In the early afternoon we got out of the train at a small station and
+were told that we should have to wait some hours for the connection.
+The senior member of our party inquired whether it was possible to get
+anything to eat, as it was already very late for the midday meal.
+Wolfe said he would try and led us into the restaurant, where a waiter
+inquired if we would have white or green beans. These dishes sounded
+so tempting that we ordered mixed. When the result was served (beans
+stewed with gravy and a little potato), it certainly greatly exceeded
+our expectations, being really appetising. When this was finished a
+resourceful member of the party produced some cards, and poker became
+the order of the day. The game was still in progress when one of the
+others called our attention to the Red Cross collecting box on the
+table. In trying to decipher the appeal for subscriptions for the
+wounded, he had made a great discovery. Actually beside the red cross
+in a small circle made by a rubber stamp were the words, "_Gott strafe
+England_!"
+
+Naturally, this display of childishness amused us greatly, creating a
+general laugh. This frivolity in the face of a court-martial was more
+than Wolfe could stand, so after one withering glance in our direction
+he turned his back on us and stalked majestically from the room.
+Luckily I had in my possession a good supply of tin canteen money
+(which was valueless outside the camp); this was at once transferred
+to the box as quickly as possible. It isn't often that an Englishman
+has the pleasure of subscribing to his own special hate box! I am
+simply longing to know if the money was eventually returned to the
+camp for its equivalent value. Should this book in the near future be
+read in Germany, as I expect it will, would some kind Hun take the
+trouble to satisfy my curiosity? "Royal Air Force, England," will
+always find me.
+
+About six o'clock that evening we reached Hanover and were marched off
+through some of the main streets to an unknown destination. The town
+is all right; it is the people that spoil it. Proceeding down some
+broad streets we passed some very fine buildings, statues and
+fountains. Once a well-dressed woman unintentionally crossed our path,
+with the result that a sentry roughly threw her aside without a word
+of apology. Passing through a small park we halted before a low,
+dirty-looking stone building, with every window strongly barred.
+
+Presently Lieutenant Wolfe emerged with a smile of welcome and bade us
+enter. In a small courtyard a German N.C.O., with a loud rasping
+voice, ordered the prison guard to take us to our quarters. After
+much jangling of keys we were separated, to our amazement, and each
+one of the party locked in a cell by himself. Near the ceiling was one
+small window about two feet square. On examination this exit proved to
+be guarded with fine wire netting and thick iron bars firmly embedded
+in cement. As usual, there was a special spy-hole in the door which
+had to be covered on the inside. Attached to each end of the bed were
+two strong shackles, evidently intended to fasten the occupant down if
+necessary. We afterwards learnt that this was the garrison prison, it
+being considerably worse than the civil one. It does not seem
+surprising that they are able to maintain their iron discipline, if
+they resort to these methods. I think the reader will agree that this
+is hardly a fit place to lodge officers who, as yet, were only
+awaiting their trial. Several times I faintly heard the whirring of
+aeroplanes outside, but only managed to see one by pulling myself up
+to the window. We relieved the monotony a little by whistling to each
+other in the Morse code what we thought of the Huns for putting us
+there. The thickness of the walls, however, soon put a stop to this.
+During the night I was awakened by several thuds, followed by a crash,
+which came from somewhere overhead. This puzzled me at the time, but
+the next day I found the noise had been caused by one of our party
+rat-hunting with the aid of a boot which had landed on a tin basin
+instead of the rat.
+
+The next morning the man with a voice like a nutmeg grater released us
+from our cells, and after a few preliminaries we were marched off
+across the square to a large building, which we entered about ten
+o'clock. Then ensued a long but interesting wait, during which we
+watched all sorts and conditions of Huns passing up and down the main
+staircase. Amongst them we saw several colonels, a general and a very
+smart monocled major, whose helmet was rather the shape of a
+fireman's, showing that he was in some crack cavalry regiment--dragoons,
+I think. They mostly wore pale blue-grey overcoats, and their buttons,
+sword-hilts and golden eagles on their helmets glittered exquisitely.
+The general appearance was smart enough, but everything seemed a
+trifle overdone, giving one the impression that they had just stepped
+out of a bandbox. Had a British officer been standing beside these
+Germans, wearing his sword, the contrast would have been a strange
+one, for while looking just as smart the uniform would have had the
+appearance of being infinitely more serviceable. There passed quite a
+number of Hun privates with downcast eyes, having just received their
+long sentences. An interpreter having nothing to do, tried hard to
+prove to us that the U-boats would very soon bring England to her
+knees, but gave up the attempt on receiving an invitation to the camp
+to watch the daily arrival of the over-laden parcel cart.
+
+Eventually we were ushered into the court, bareheaded, trying very
+hard to look meek. The opening questions and formalities took up a lot
+of time, and it really was a terrible strain trying not to laugh when
+the interpreter solemnly explained to a German captain that one of our
+party belonged to the _Middlesex_ Regiment. Before getting to business
+our individual conduct sheets were read out, mine being about as black
+as it could be. At our request two French majors from Osnabrueck were
+present. Both spoke well on our behalf, explaining that this could
+only be a quarrel between the French and British in any case, but that
+they were delighted at what had occurred, and most certainly did not
+wish to prosecute. Everything went in our favour, and, when the
+treacling was described, even the presiding Hun general laughed. The
+public prosecutor, as usual, asked for the maximum punishment, 600
+marks fine or 100 days fortress. Whereupon the court rose and left the
+room, looking justice itself. On their return it was announced that
+the junior three of our party, who had not actually entered the
+Frenchman's room, were let off with a caution, and that all the rest
+were each fined five hundred marks, or fifty days in a fortress. This
+showed how they wanted our money; of course the whole thing had been
+arranged beforehand. On inquiring what the money would go to support
+we were told that it would probably be the war loan. A few minutes
+later, after leaving in a rebellious mood, we were lucky enough to
+meet the two Frenchmen, from whom we learnt that they too had spent
+the night in cells in the same prison. Later on I was given to
+understand that before a subsequent court-martial two British officers
+spent the night on a sort of mattress in a corner of the guardroom.
+
+The return journey was accomplished without incident, except for an
+attempt on our part to speak to a captured guardsman, who was loading
+trucks, which was promptly squashed by Wolfe snapping out "_Das geht
+nicht_." Nevertheless, a tin or two of food found its way out of the
+window.
+
+The weather at Clausthal, after a brief interval of snowstorms, became
+beautifully warm, and the prospect of spending the summer in the Hartz
+Mountains was almost alluring. About this time General Friedrichs (in
+charge of prisoners of war) made a speech in the Reichstag, in the
+course of which he stated that the English treated their prisoners
+better than any other nation (or so the translation read), and went on
+to say that in return English prisoners must receive good treatment,
+so that at the conclusion of hostilities they would take back good
+remembrances of Germany to their own country. In my case things
+certainly did change (I expect as a result of the speech)--for the
+worse. A week later thirty-five officers, including myself, were sent
+to Stroehen, a camp which will certainly be remembered long after peace
+is declared, but I doubt if the memory will be a pleasant one.
+
+
+
+
+                             CHAPTER VIII
+
+                                STROEHEN
+
+
+Previous to our departure Wolfe personally searched our belongings.
+Although a long journey lay in front of us, he only allowed each
+individual to carry two small tins of food. In reply to our protests
+he said that, as things were always well arranged in Germany, our
+luggage would therefore arrive at the same time as ourselves. This
+was, of course, absolutely untrue, but we had to submit. During the
+great search Wolfe, seeing that I was wearing a belt made of plaited
+string (Yes, Mr. Wolfe, the belt in question was made of blind cord
+cut from the _kurhaus_ windows!), and noting that it was something
+unusual, ordered me to leave it behind. Taking it off, I politely
+handed it to him, and expressed my hope that he would keep it as a
+souvenir! With a charming smile he replied, "Three days _stuben_
+arrest," which I acknowledged with a bow.
+
+Outside the camp, on our way to the station we looked back and saw the
+roll call was in progress. Thereupon we gave three cheers for the
+many friends we were leaving behind us, in spite of the fact that
+Wolfe and the commandant were on parade. We travelled second class and
+at one station were even allowed to buy beer; our guards were quite
+reasonable, and things in general went off pleasantly. We stayed some
+time at an out-of-the-way station east of Osnabrueck, where quite a
+crowd of children collected. They scrambled excitedly for the sweets
+and cigarettes which we threw them. Arriving at a little station
+called Stroehen, which seemed to be on a large moor, we got out and
+started for the camp, the German officer bringing up the rear in a
+victoria. After ten minutes' walking down a lonely road we made out a
+group of low wooden huts surrounded by high arc lamps and wire, on a
+desolate moorland. Surely this could not be our destination, the good
+camp we had been led to expect.
+
+But after inquiring our guards told us it was, although they were
+nearly as much surprised at its appearance as we were. At all events
+we were determined to hide our feelings and look cheery. Quickening
+our pace we approached the camp singing the almost forgotten song,
+"Tipperary," were marched through the gates, and halted in front of a
+small group of German officers, in the centre of the camp. We at once
+distinguished the commandant, a major, with a first class iron cross
+hanging from his collar. He was rather short and stout with a square
+face; his grey whiskers terminated in a small double-pointed beard;
+this completed his "Hunnish" appearance! With his hands behind his
+back he welcomed us with a sullen stare, all the while puffing
+stolidly at his cigar. Had the Huns rehearsed this scene for a week
+they could not have given us a more heathen reception. No one even
+made a show at politeness by a nod or a salute. A stout and ugly
+sergeant-major (named Muller), wearing a gaudy blue and red uniform
+and sword, bawled at us to dress by the right, as if he were
+addressing a squad of recruits. He very nearly exploded when we
+ignored his insolent words of command. A rather common little
+interpreter commenced calling the roll, beginning with a captain, but
+only shouting his surname, to which there was no response. When his
+voice gradually rose to a shriek the Englishman stepped out and said,
+"I suppose you mean Captain so-and-so." The interpreter explained
+matters to the commandant, who must have realised that they were in
+the wrong, for in future we were addressed by our proper rank.
+(Victory No. 1.) We were each given a disc, on which was stamped our
+camp number (mine is now residing at home), and shown into our rooms.
+Late that night about two hundred fellows arrived from Crefeld, and
+Muller, finding he could not intimidate them, made such a noise that
+he was "choked off" by the commandant. We learnt that this place had
+been built as a Russian reprisal camp, but that lately Roumanian
+officers had been confined there. We were the first British these
+people had ever had to deal with. Hence their very bad manners!
+
+Now in a camp of this sort it is very necessary to stand up for one's
+rights when treated unfairly, otherwise the Germans soon forget that
+you have any rights; at the same time, if the treatment is fair, one
+does one's best to avoid friction. The best instance of a result of
+the former treatment occurred the next afternoon. When some of the
+Crefeld party, who had been allowed to bring provisions with them,
+found that it was not possible to obtain hot water for making tea,
+some inventive person at once started a little fire of sticks outside
+my room. Almost immediately a N.C.O. leading half a dozen armed men
+appeared on the scene and told the offender in a dreadful voice to put
+the fire out at once. Instead of complying the culprit dodged into a
+barrack and out of a window on the opposite side and disappeared.
+When the Huns were able to comprehend the audacity of this move they
+had to put the fire out themselves. Half an hour later a sentry,
+seeing three fires burning in the same place, strolled over and
+quietly informed those concerned that fires were not allowed, and that
+unless they were put out he would have to make a report to the
+commandant. The result was that they were at once extinguished with
+the aid of sand. Our baggage did not arrive for nearly a week; then,
+instead of being given out, it was locked up for another five days
+before we received it all. During this time we had to live on the
+German food as best we could.
+
+ACCOMMODATION.--Our quarters consisted of three long and two smaller
+badly made huts, divided into rooms containing, mostly, two or six
+officers. The mattresses were mostly dirty and hard, being stuffed
+with paper and cardboard, which formed sharp edges and lumps. The
+first week about ten of us found "creepy crawlies," and shortly before
+our departure I succeeded in attracting some while in the camp
+hospital! The Huns provided us with the German equivalent for
+"Keating's" after much agitation, after making us pay for it. The
+doctor said that the newly captured prisoners must have brought the
+creatures into the camp. That may have been true in a few cases, but
+even so they are to blame for not making adequate arrangements to
+prevent it. We each received a tin basin, but the washing was all done
+at three pumps outside. All the drinking water was derived from this
+source, and had a strong and disagreeable taste. A few feet away from
+each pump was a stagnant pool into which the waste water flowed. I
+think it is reasonable to suppose that a good proportion of it, after
+filtering through the sand, was pumped up again. In spite of these
+trifles we were told that the water had been analysed and passed by
+the medical authorities. I suppose both the colour and flavour were
+only due to the presence of iron, in which case I have no doubt it was
+an excellent tonic. I should have liked to have seen the doctor's face
+had he been made to swallow a glassful. I am thinking of forming a
+company for the purpose of building a hydro on the site of the old
+camp, so that every one may have an opportunity of enjoying perfect
+health by taking the Stroehen waters. I hope the reader will assist me
+by buying shares in this excellent concern. (A large cemetery will, of
+course, be necessary, but grave-digging should not prove to be
+expensive, the soil being very light!)
+
+The safest and most comfortable place in the camp was the small
+hospital, which was under the care of a very decent corporal in a
+Brandenburg regiment. The dining and common rooms were in one long
+barrack, divided into two sections. At one end of the latter was a
+canteen of sorts, which ultimately improved considerably. The sanitary
+arrangements were most primitive, the breezes constantly reminding one
+of their inefficiency. For the first month the weather was glorious,
+and during the evening stroll round it was maddening to watch the red
+sun slowly sinking behind the distant woods to the westward, showing
+us the way to Holland and freedom. The journey by train would have
+been accomplished in a few hours under ordinary circumstances. It was
+almost incredible to think, though it was only too true, that a few
+strands of wire and some grey-clad sentries could keep us confined in
+this desert-like camp, containing neither grass nor trees, isolated
+from all the pleasures of summer. Whenever there was a wind we enjoyed
+a whirling sandstorm. Often I have seen it so thick as to temporarily
+obscure the further camp buildings. If we had only been allowed camels
+and facilities for exercising, we should soon have looked upon a
+journey across the Sahara as mere child's play. After a victory (real
+or imaginary), or an anniversary, it was with very rebellious feelings
+that we watched the German flag fluttering in the breezes. I did not
+mind the coloured one quite so much, but it was almost more than I
+could stand to see the pale yellow flag, framing the treacherous
+scraggy black eagle, flying over my head. In one part of the camp
+there was just room for a game of tennis. Several classes were formed
+for learning languages, and indulging in "physical jerks" (culture),
+though I'm sorry to say I much preferred watching and jeering with the
+ever increasing majority.
+
+Occasionally sports days were organised, which went off in style, the
+chief items being short races, jumping, cock-fighting, also a
+competition which necessitated each individual eating a sticky bun
+dangling from a tightly stretched string without using his hands. This
+may not sound much of a feat, but when one realises that the bun
+consists of a chunk of stale black bread exuding coarse treacle, the
+difficulty will be better understood. Several canaries had been
+brought along from the former camp. In one instance a man in the
+Flying Corps, possessing a sitting bird, carried her so carefully that
+she never left the eggs and eventually reared her young at Stroehen.
+
+Latterly chip carving became the fashion, as it was then possible to
+obtain the necessary articles from a German firm through the canteen.
+Concerts were frequently held, and as the camp contained very
+considerable talent, we had some really first class performances,
+after being allowed to hire a piano from the nearest town. One day a
+new lot of orderlies arrived and took up their quarters in a barrack
+separated from our part of the camp by some wire. Among their number
+was a private called Cheeseman, a born comedian, who used to get up
+sing-songs and sketches; the star turn, however, was a selection from
+his orchestra, which he used to conduct with a broomstick from an
+inverted bucket. The instruments were two mandolines, one banjo, one
+mandola, a tin whistle, an accordion, a rattle, a comb, and a lump of
+iron. Somehow the performers played in tune, but they always sent us
+into fits of laughter, and even amused the watching Huns. Although
+Cheeseman often disappeared into cells for several days, he was never
+really squashed and always reappeared with a new joke. I was lucky
+enough to receive a good assortment of flower seeds from home,
+including sunflowers, sweet peas, nasturtiums, etc.; these I
+immediately planted in a tiny museum-like garden, and tended
+carefully, in the hope that some day the plants would assume large
+enough proportions to enable me to believe temporarily on special
+occasions that I was actually amid the flowers of good old England. In
+my case the deception was fortunately not necessary, as I was
+destined to enjoy the real thing, though unfortunately in hospital.
+
+TREATMENT.--The first roll calls, though unnecessarily long, were
+quite entertaining. They were conducted by a guards lieutenant with a
+pronounced limp, who went by the name of "Cork-leg." Even when
+speaking of a matter of no importance his voice would become louder
+and louder until it threatened to reach a shrill scream. On one
+occasion when the interpreter was not present, some unoffending person
+asked the Hun a question in English. Cork-leg replied, with a dreadful
+roar, that we must understand that the language of the camp was
+German, and German only. Things were going a little too far, so every
+time the gentleman gave expression to his thoughts in too vehement a
+manner most of us whispered a long-drawn "Hush." The parade being in
+square formation, when he turned suddenly to arrest the offender, he
+found those facing him wearing an air of injured innocence, while
+those in his rear continued the good work. This had the desired
+effect, and although it meant "_stuben_ arrest" for several fellows,
+the officer soon realised what an ass he was making of himself and
+became almost normal, with the result that things went smoothly for a
+while.
+
+Soon after our arrival, a fortnight, to be correct, the newly
+captured infantry officers, numbering about fifty, were ordered to
+give up their steel helmets at a given roll call. This naturally went
+against the grain. The owners mostly destroyed the rubber padding and
+hid the helmets, resolving that at least they should not benefit the
+Hun. At the appointed time eight instead of fifty were surrendered to
+the officer on duty. On the morning of the twelfth of June a number of
+German soldiers set to work with poles and hooks to drag the pools for
+submerged helmets. By and by they succeeded in picking out quite a
+number of those steel fish, every additional one landed calling forth
+a subdued cheer from the onlookers. In the afternoon, having nothing
+to do but kill time, I strolled out of a barrack, my hands in my
+pockets, with no immediate objective in view. Outside a few Germans
+were still fishing for helmets, while half a dozen Britishers were
+lazily watching operations. After joining them for a minute or two I
+turned to walk over to another building. True, there were some
+sentries with fixed bayonets lounging about, but that was nothing
+unusual, for they might well be in charge of the orderlies who were
+working near by. I had not gone ten yards when a tall, unshaven
+_Landsturmer_ swung round and barred my way. He told me with a snarl
+that I was not allowed there and motioned me back with his hand. I
+told him that I was not aware of any new order and only wished to go
+to the neighbouring building. Whereupon he repeated his words in a
+still more offensive tone, and brought his rifle to the ready. (Even a
+German sentry is supposed to be reasonably polite when addressing an
+officer prisoner for the first time, but this man was purposely rude.)
+I replied that if he addressed me as a British officer and not as a
+dog I should obey him at once, otherwise I should remain where I was.
+After a few more unintelligible threats he advanced, brandishing his
+weapon, at which I turned sideways to call to a German N.C.O. and
+protest against such treatment. The kindly sentry aimed a smashing
+blow at my left foot, which I was luckily able to partially deflect by
+a slight movement of my knee. Things were certainly quite disturbing,
+for the next instant he stuck the bayonet almost through my right
+thigh. The proceeding was not particularly pleasant, feeling very like
+a sharp burn, but I was almost too surprised to realise fully what had
+happened, so consequently remained standing where I was. Vaguely I
+realised that the sentry had withdrawn his bayonet for another thrust,
+this time evidently intended to enter my body. Glancing down I saw
+that my trouser leg was saturated and streaming with blood, which was
+even welling out of my shoe on to the ground, showing that an artery
+had been severed. Not being particularly partial to bayonet thrusts, I
+decided that I could now abandon my argument without loss of prestige.
+I succeeded in hobbling a few yards to the rear, at the same time
+holding the artery above the wound in an endeavour to check the flow
+of blood. This, however, did not prove very successful, the sand
+continuing to turn red behind me. Just as I was in the act of falling,
+a number of our fellows, seeing what had happened, rushed up and
+carried me hastily into the camp hospital, where a tourniquet was
+applied and the doctor sent for. The time was then a quarter-past
+three, and the doctor did not arrive till after seven o'clock. I
+rather fancy if an accident of that sort had occurred in an English
+prison camp containing over four hundred German officers, it would not
+be necessary to wait almost four hours before the arrival of a
+qualified doctor.
+
+At the best of times a very tight tourniquet is distinctly
+uncomfortable. The medical orderly thinking that I should lose
+consciousness and seeing the commandant enter the room, explained the
+circumstances and asked if he might give me a little brandy. After
+due consideration and much chewing at the ragged end of his eternal
+cigar, he replied that as water would be given to a wounded German
+soldier, it was good enough for me. Though I pretended not to hear,
+these remarks impressed me considerably. The N.C.O. looked after me
+very well, and early next morning took me to the station in an
+ambulance on my way to Hanover Hospital. Two private soldiers acted as
+stretcher-bearers, with the N.C.O. in charge. When the train arrived
+it was found that the stretcher was too broad to go into a carriage,
+so I travelled in the luggage van, among trunks, bicycles and baskets
+of fish. The Germans were quite jolly and sang a few songs, while I,
+in a half dead condition, endeavoured to accompany them on my beloved
+mandoline. At Hanover I was dumped down at a Red Cross centre below
+the station to await the ambulance. Soon quite a pretty nurse (for a
+wonder) came up and inquired if I was English. I could not resist
+replying in German: "Yes, sister, I am one of those _Schweinhund
+Englanders_!" To my surprise she seemed quite embarrassed, and hastily
+answered me that they did not say that _now_. (Emphasis on the _now_.)
+In the conveyance I lay beside a wounded German private, also bound
+for hospital. When my curiosity had broken the ice, he told me that
+he had just returned from the Messines Ridge, where he had acquired a
+great respect for British artillery and mines (though he himself was a
+sapper). The Hanover hospitals which usually take in prisoners are
+Nos. 1 and 7; to my relief I was taken to No. 1, which is recognised
+as the best. I received practically the same treatment as the German
+patients, and occupied a room with three other British officers. Some
+of the food we received was quite good, a little fresh milk and
+butter, and one or two whitish rolls of bread, and, of course, the
+usual doubtful soups. Immediately outside the window was a large
+flowering acacia tree, looking delightfully shady and cool after
+Stroehen desert. Another luxury we sometimes enjoyed was strawberries,
+which the German orderly bought in large quantities, afterwards
+selling them to some of the doctors and nurses as well as ourselves.
+At frequent intervals a band outside played a very ordinary
+uninteresting dead march, announcing each time a German (usually a
+patient) had gone "West." Soon after my arrival I saw a Zeppelin
+flying very low over the town. I was delighted and remarked to a Bosch
+that it was the first Zeppelin I had ever seen. He was quite indignant
+and told me that I ought to know that it was a Schutte-Lanz, a new
+type of airship. My education must have been sadly neglected!
+
+Bayonet wounds are, for several reasons, liable to become septic;
+mine, however, healed up remarkably quickly, saving me endless bother.
+In a fortnight I started back to the camp, accompanied by a N.C.O. and
+a private, who helped me slowly along. We went by train, without
+causing much interest. This was a good thing, for it is very hard to
+look dignified when feeling like nothing on earth, and looking as
+white as a sheet. Many of the small boys were dressed up as soldiers
+in one way or another, and I twice saw a small ragamuffin band with
+tins for kettle-drums. Just wouldn't there be a fine scrap if a
+similar band of London children had suddenly rounded the corner!
+Personally, I would back the cockney spirit against any other. This
+was my second visit to Hanover, and on no occasion had I seen a motor
+other than the one ambulance car, though I heard two in the distance.
+Owing to the scarcity of rubber I was surprised at the number of
+bicycles present in the streets, but closer inspection proved that
+that difficulty had been overcome by a clever invention, by which the
+shock is lessened by an outer wooden rim held in position by strong
+springs, which are compressed as they take the weight. During the
+train journey my escort, as usual, drew my attention to the splendid
+way in which the Germans treated their prisoners by allowing them to
+travel second class. They simply would not believe that German
+officers in England always travelled first. The private, who owned a
+cigar factory in Hanover, became quite chatty and seemed very anxious
+to know if I thought the trade relationships between England and
+Germany would be the same as ever after the war. He was very surprised
+and, indeed, quite distressed when I told him that I thought there
+would be a considerable change--it seemed that the idea had never
+occurred to him before.
+
+I was not sorry when the camp was reached and I entered the little
+camp hospital to remain there for another two weeks. Several fellows
+having escaped from the camp temporarily, the commandant got the sack.
+Many speculations concerning his probable successor were indulged in,
+and I think the general opinion of the camp was that the newcomer
+might be better, though he could not be worse. We soon discovered our
+mistake. His first appearance was not exactly promising. Two fellows
+while walking round the camp suddenly heard a stream of abuse
+violently directed at them, and looking up, they saw the commandant
+coming towards them through a gate in the wire, fairly bursting with
+rage. His unreasonable complaint was that he had not been saluted
+while entering his office outside the wire! The offenders were at once
+packed off to cells for two or three days. The next day a few
+Britishers arrived from another camp, and while they were waiting
+outside to be admitted, a small and orderly crowd collected on the
+inside to see if they could recognise any one, or exchange a few
+remarks. Being unable to walk much I watched the proceedings from the
+window of my room and was able to see everything that took place.
+Without any warning the mad commandant rushed out of a building and up
+to the wire, where he screamed at the little gathering like a madman,
+making violent motions to show that they were to go back. It is
+perfectly legitimate to stand in a group as long as every one behaves
+and no one touches the neutral zone wire. One must stand somewhere. In
+this case he had absolutely no right to order a move. The interpreter,
+who happened to be near, walked up and said that the commandant
+desired us to go away, whereupon the officers began to disperse,
+wishing to humour him. I was startled to see two soldiers come through
+the gate with fixed bayonets in a quick business-like way, to drive
+the fellows back faster, evidently by the commandant's express orders.
+The younger of the two guards went straight up to an unoffending
+medical student, a Lieutenant Downes (S. Staffs.), who was then
+turning round, and pricked him in the stomach with his bayonet. To
+prevent the steady pressure making the slight wound worse, Downes
+seized the end of the rifle and, jerking the point out, swung it to
+the right, and then turning round walked quickly back. The sentry,
+after running past several other officers, overtook him and, to my
+horror, stuck the bayonet into his back. After continuing his walk for
+a few steps Downes collapsed and was at once carried into hospital,
+the next day being taken to Hanover. The wound was very serious,
+however; we received a message from the hospital a few days later
+stating that the bayonet had penetrated into one lung, but that he was
+getting on well and would probably soon recover.
+
+The same sentry, in his eagerness to obey orders, tried to bayonet a
+Captain Woodhouse, but as his prey jumped back just in time, only
+succeeded in cutting the skin. By this time a large crowd had
+collected, which the sentries continued slowly forcing back, although
+they were then fifty yards from the wire. As the news spread the crowd
+became larger, but remained ominously quiet, the two Germans not
+seeming to realise the danger of their position. It is the worst
+feeling I know to watch a cowardly display of this sort and yet be
+able to do absolutely nothing. It only needed a spark to set
+everything in a blaze, which must have ended in the guard being turned
+out for machine-gun practice. Meanwhile, the news reached some
+Britishers who were half-way through a concert. By mutual consent it
+was at once broken up by the singing of the National Anthem. Every one
+outside at once stood to attention and heartily joined in the last few
+bars. It was the most impressive scene one could possibly imagine. I
+am sure that no one who had witnessed it would in after years, without
+feeling murder in his heart, watch a man belonging to the mongrel
+breed, which is not infrequently seen sitting down while everybody
+else is standing for the National Anthem, only being forced grudgingly
+to his feet by public opinion, even then not removing his hat unless
+it is knocked off. I am convinced that if Ramsay Macdonald and a few
+of his colleagues could have spent a week in a bad German prison camp
+they would be only too willing to instruct their misguided followers
+in singing "God Save the King," in the spirit and way in which it
+should be and was sung at Stroehen on July 15th, 1917. The situation
+was saved.
+
+Our senior officer took advantage of the pause at the end while we
+were still under control, standing at attention, and told us to
+separate at once, as he would do everything that was possible. At this
+Israel departed every man to his own tent. The major asked for an
+immediate interview with the commandant, but the German captain who
+had entered replied that that was unfortunately impossible as that
+officer had gone out at lunch time and would not return till late. It
+was a most "kolossal" lie, but I do not think that the captain should
+be saddled with it, as he was, doubtless, acting under instructions.
+Most of those present, including myself, would have sworn on oath that
+we had seen the commandant a few minutes before and that he had caused
+all the trouble. But then what is one to do? Of course the usual
+complaints went (or rather were supposed to go) to higher authority
+(ambassadors and the like), but no satisfaction was obtained. It seems
+not unlikely that they all found their way into the office waste-paper
+basket by the most direct route.
+
+Again, a few days later about a dozen fellows were watching a party of
+Germans, under a _Feldwebel_ Pohlman, digging up an old tunnel which
+had fallen in near the wire. Everything was quiet and Pohlman was
+even talking naturally with one of our number, when I noticed him turn
+and speak a few words to the sergeant of the guard, who turned and
+entered the guardroom, evidently in a hurry. Knowing that this
+Pohlman, in spite of his oily manner and smug appearance, was a Hun in
+every sense of the word, I kept my weather eye open, warned the others
+and strolled off. A few seconds later four of the worst sentries in
+the place, having entered the camp unobserved, came running round the
+corner of a shed, their bayonets drawn back for thrusting, obviously
+having received orders that the next victim had to be finished off,
+the object, I suppose, being either to teach us a lesson or cause a
+mutiny. Some one shouted a warning to three fellows who were standing
+talking to each other unconscious of their danger, but before they had
+time to realise their predicament the sentries were on them. The Huns
+singled out a Captain Wilson (R.F.C.), and before he could get away,
+surrounded him, while one villainous-looking little Hun lunged
+straight at him. By a quick movement Wilson avoided the thrust and
+succeeded in breaking away, the bayonet passing through his clothes.
+The guard continued to press every one back into the centre of the
+camp, very serious trouble again only just being avoided.
+
+Another incident of this sort happened a few days later, when to our
+surprise some strong sherry arrived at the canteen, and was soon
+bought up by the thirsty prisoners. I think there was another object
+in view, as well as a desire to make money. Towards evening some
+Englishmen were sitting near the wire, close to where the sentry who
+had assaulted Downes was stationed. One of the fellows, feeling a
+little cheerful, amused himself by alluding to the bravery of the act.
+At the worst this was only a case calling for a little solitary
+confinement. I suppose the sentry passed the word along to the
+guardroom, for soon three sentries passed through the camp,
+metaphorically whetting their bayonets, going towards the scene of the
+disturbance. Before reaching it they unslung their rifles and fixed
+their bayonets, doubled round the corner of the building, expecting to
+surprise the unfortunate Englander. But to their disgust they only
+found empty chairs and returned very dejected.
+
+After this episode we had a dance in the dining-room, several fellows
+making up into the most charming girls, and did our best to forget our
+unpleasant surroundings. At ten o'clock, when we had gone to our
+barracks, according to the rules, Pohlman conducted an armed party of
+half a dozen Huns with fixed bayonets round the huts and every part
+of the camp, but failed to find the excuse he was longing for. Now
+what about the Cambrai officer's question, "Why do you call us Huns?"
+_Why, indeed?_
+
+The German captain nearly always took roll call. Though fairly
+harmless, he was quite mad. He seldom brought an interpreter on parade
+and made long speeches and read orders to us, all in German, the great
+majority, of course, not understanding a single word! One day we heard
+the new commandant was coming on parade for the first time that
+evening, so therefore looked forward to some fun. When the time for
+the roll call arrived we were inspected as usual, and were standing
+waiting, when the little captain suddenly drew himself up to his full
+height, and screamed out: "_Augen Rechts--Augen Links--Gerade Aus_."
+As we were standing in three sides of a square it was an order to make
+every one face the commandant with a martial air. The net result of
+this "Double Dutch" was that everyone broke into an amused smile,
+which increased almost to hysterics when we caught sight of the
+recipient of this honour. The commandant was a tall, doddery,
+antediluvian Prussian colonel, with long grey moustaches, the very
+image of the Monkey Brand advertisement, only perhaps not quite so
+good looking. Why he did not fall over his trailing scabbard in every
+step remains a mystery to this day.
+
+There was another curious little trick the captain sometimes indulged
+in. In the middle of delivering a tirade he would suddenly point to
+heaven with a dramatic gesture, as if to prove the truth of a recent
+statement by invoking the Kaiser's God. Perhaps some day he will learn
+that the popular spirit of Germany lives not above but very far below.
+
+Soon after our arrival the prison was enlarged, as it always has to be
+when the camp becomes British. Fellows were often sent there for an
+offence about which they had never heard, without being able to say
+one word in self defence. In about two months I believe nearly half
+the camp had been in "clink." Until latterly it was forbidden to open
+windows at night, but being English we took the law into our own hands
+and continued opening the windows, refusing to be deprived of fresh
+air in the stifling heat. This naturally resulted in more prison,
+which at first relieved and then increased the monotony. Though it is
+hardly credible, our colonel had to carry out a sentence of three days
+"_stuben_ arrest" for losing his poker! About this time an Australian
+was put into prison for a trivial offence which had been committed by
+some one else, and did not even receive his sentence for three whole
+weeks!
+
+While in "jug" in this camp we were not allowed parcels, writing
+materials, books or smokes. We complained about this to a general who
+inspected the camp later; he expressed surprise at this state of
+affairs and had things partially rectified. For about two months all
+cigars and cigarettes received in parcels were stopped, the only
+reason given being that in some cases they had contained poison for
+destroying cattle. Not only were chances of destroying cattle
+exceedingly small, but we offered to smoke any cigarette they chose to
+give us from our parcels to prove the falsity of the charge.
+
+By an agreement between the Governments those serving terms of
+imprisonment for offences committed before the 4th of August, 1917,
+were released, a great number of the gaol-birds being sent to Stroehen.
+Residing in prison was a captain who made a hobby of being
+court-martialled. Under this new ruling he was taken out of cells for
+a few days, only to be put back to await trial for the trumped-up
+charge of having poison tablets on his person when recaptured after
+his last escape. I believe the only tablets he carried were either for
+purifying water, or Horlick's malted milk. Every one recaptured when
+trying to escape in the late winter of 1916 or the following spring
+received a sentence of five months' imprisonment, a fortnight the
+original punishment, and the remainder as a supposed reprisal for the
+sentence given to escaping Germans in England.
+
+The food given us was very bad indeed, though the list must have
+looked quite nice on paper. Apart from the eternal and loathsome
+gherkins, of which no mention was made, it asserted that we received
+fish twice a week! The Tuesday fish was of a dried variety, and had
+such a delicious smell when cooked that it was impossible to enter the
+dining-room when it was on the prowl! While that on Friday consisted
+of heaps of old mussels containing quantities of sand and young
+pebbles, known amongst ourselves as those ---- barnacles, scraped from
+the ships at Kiel. The whole time I was there I never once had an
+opportunity of buying any fresh fruit, though it was summer time and
+we could have paid good prices. The only result of my bayoneting
+episode was that the sentry was congratulated, and I was warned for a
+court-martial! When a staff captain arrived from Hanover to collect
+the evidence for the approaching trials, quite a cheery little crowd
+of accused officers were awaiting him. Several of them were to appear
+on two or three charges, and three R.F.C. officers were to be tried
+for dropping leaflets in the German lines. I believe it came to
+nothing in the end, as there was not enough evidence to convict them.
+Captain Scholtz and Lieutenant Wookey do not seem to have been so
+lucky. When my turn came, several German witnesses were produced who
+swore that after being struck on the foot with the butt, I had jumped
+forward to seize the rifle, asserting that the sentry had only acted
+in self-defence. (Such a truthful race!) When the captain was taking
+down my statement, we frequently got off the subject altogether. All
+of a sudden he would assert that the English had started the war and
+ask me the reason for their doing so. Thoroughly roused, I would reply
+that it was nonsense and he must know it. Then ensued an amusing but
+fiery argument about the neutrality of Belgium, the use of native
+troops, and frightfulness in general. His plea was that poor little
+unoffending Germany was only standing up for herself against a set of
+blood-thirsty enemies who wished to crush her. Needless to say, I did
+not feel much like sympathising. When we finally got back to business,
+all particulars were taken as a matter of form, my slaughterer's name
+and address being taken down. Before my departure I managed to get a
+glimpse of it when the captain was out of the room. I do not suffer
+from loss of memory!
+
+The all-absorbing problem of camp life is escaping. Up to this time
+half a dozen fellows had succeeded in getting away from the camp, but
+were afterwards recaptured. I will endeavour to give an outline of the
+several attempts and the difficulties to be overcome, which must of
+necessity be very curtailed, this book not being originally written
+for the benefit of the "Bosch." The most usual way is to cut the wire,
+but where sentries are numerous the undertaking is both difficult and
+dangerous. It is most natural to try stunts of the sort under cover of
+darkness. At this camp, however, the paraffin arc lamps were
+particularly brilliant, and when star-gazing on several occasions I
+have seen rats and mice scuttle across the white sand some distance
+away. Though storms often raged during the day, the wind almost
+invariably blew itself out towards night, leaving a dead calm, broken
+only by the tramp of sentries or the distant rattling hum of a
+nightjar. It is a brave man who, having determined this mode of exit,
+leaves his hut when others are sleeping, and vanishes. Presently, if
+he gets safely across the intervening ground, the faint yet feverish
+snipping of wire-cutters is heard, each time being followed perhaps
+by a slight "ping" as the strained wire separates. The ensuing silence
+is almost heart-breaking, for in contrast something else may at any
+instant be increasing its tension, a sentry's trigger-finger. One
+stormy night, when in hospital, I had reason to believe that an
+officer would make an attempt in that part of the camp at a given
+hour, so had an excellent chance of watching operations, which was not
+wasted. I went to the window and settled down for a long wait. Outside
+it was still raining, the sentries being in their boxes. A little
+before the time I caught sight of a dark figure which clambered out of
+the orderlies' hut and crawled into the neutral zone up to the outside
+wire, which he lay parallel to and commenced to cut. To my surprise,
+another figure joined him from the hut and lay there waiting; this was
+an orderly who had decided to join at the last instant. In about one
+and a half minutes a large enough gap had been cut, and the
+adventurers crawled through it, and were preparing to make a dash into
+the darkness when a sentry spotted them and stepped out of his box.
+Having burned their boats, off they went. The sentry ran a few steps,
+then, stopping abruptly, raised his rifle and fired. It was an anxious
+moment for the onlookers; the fugitives already knew the result,
+while, as yet, we did not. However, to our relief, the ghost-like
+figures continued their flight until they were swallowed up in the
+darkness, and the reflection of the artificial light on their wet
+rain-coats became too weak to give away their position. In their
+anxiety to leave the camp behind they tended to separate, but both
+fell headlong into a deep ditch, where they met again. In their first
+dash one of them dropped most of the provisions, which the Germans
+discovered and brought back to the camp in triumph. Six days
+afterwards they were recaptured, thirty kilometres from the border.
+Two officers cut the wire in broad daylight, when the nearest sentry
+was busy opening a gate admitting some orderlies. They left the camp
+by way of a ditch without being seen, crawling as they had never
+crawled before, their heads showing above the level of the fields,
+like two wobbling cabbages going for a hurried evening stroll. Their
+success was short-lived, for, only an hour afterwards, they were
+spotted and chased by some farmers, being finally brought to a stop by
+a man with a shot-gun. Another couple left the camp by the following
+ingenious method. A captain, who spoke German like a native, dressed
+up in the clothes of a Hun private (somehow acquired). Some of the
+essential things were missing, and had been manufactured in secret,
+such as a cap and a painted wooden bayonet, with a lovely coloured
+tassel. When everything was ready, about ten o'clock one morning, a
+perfectly good German private marched an R.F.C. lieutenant, disguised
+as an orderly, who carried two buckets (containing their kit), up to a
+gate in the wire, which he rattled to signify that it must be unlocked
+immediately. The sentry came along, unlocked the gate, and let him
+out. They proceeded to the road, which they followed for a short
+distance. That afternoon, while crossing a wild bit of country, they
+had the misfortune to be recaptured by a shooting party, being first
+completely surrounded by the beaters. Two other officers got out
+separately in an ingenious way, the first being recaptured crossing a
+bridge over the Ems, quite near Holland; the second lost direction,
+and was retaken four days after, having got thoroughly lost. One
+unlucky person was collared just outside the wire, dressed as an
+orderly, and was taken straight to prison to enjoy a period of perfect
+rest!
+
+I worked in several tunnels at different times, fitted with air pumps
+and perhaps even electric light--who knows? Digging oneself out is, at
+the best of times, a slow and difficult proposition, which is almost
+invariably discovered sooner or later. The humorous side of tunnelling
+is so pronounced that, could "Bairnsfather" view one such episode,
+our bookstalls would shortly be surrounded by eager crowds, clamouring
+for the first edition of "Fragments from Germany," depicting
+mud-bespattered "Old Bills" crawling for their very lives down narrow
+tunnels, closely pursued by the wily Hun!
+
+About this time I made my second attempt to escape, and succeeded in
+getting outside the wire for the time being, early one afternoon
+during bathing hours, only to discover that my proposed hiding-place
+was occupied by Germans. After sitting solemnly beside my kit for an
+hour, expecting discovery every second, I was lucky enough to return,
+unmolested, with a party of bathers. During this period of anxious
+waiting I was surprised to find that the thought of losing my
+carefully prepared outfit was considerably more distressing than the
+actual prospect of imprisonment.
+
+
+
+
+                              CHAPTER IX
+
+                        "AN OUTLAW ONCE AGAIN"
+
+
+When a sufficient number of officers had collected for baths at a
+little gate, a sentry allowed them to pass through it and along a
+short, wired path, or bird-cage (as we called it), and thence into the
+bath-room. This room was situated about ten yards outside the wire, in
+the middle of a wooden barrack, running parallel to, and about fifteen
+yards away from, the wire. It is subdivided to form a dressing-room
+and a place for the shower baths, every exit being strongly barred,
+and a sentry stationed at the door. After a minute inspection of every
+nook and cranny, I found that it was just possible, by standing
+upright, to squeeze into an alcove, about eleven inches deep and a
+foot wide, in an angle formed by a wall and the brickwork of a chimney
+which projected into the room.
+
+Though in full view of the door, it was partially hidden behind an
+empty stove. I reasoned that, should a well-made dummy wall obscure
+the aperture, it would take a very observant sentry to detect anything
+amiss. As a last resource, even should it be noticed, it might pass as
+something to do with the heating of the adjacent room. After weighing
+up the chances of success for several days, I decided that it was
+worth trying. When the measurements had been taken, behind the Bosch's
+back, I set to work to manufacture the false wall.
+
+Most of my friends ridiculed the idea, calling my pet wall a doll's
+house and other insulting names, and bestowing on me much superfluous
+sympathy and pity. They argued that it had not been done before, and
+was, therefore, impossible, doing their level best to stop me
+embarking on such a mad enterprise. At first they almost succeeded in
+their object, but, knowing that most ordinary people remain in a camp
+indefinitely, working on more orthodox lines, I determined that I
+would put it to the test, if only to prove them wrong, or land myself
+in prison. One infantry officer, who had previously been through a
+course of camouflage, gave me his moral support, which counted for a
+good deal.
+
+The wall was made of cardboard sewn tightly on to a light wooden
+frame, the whole being made in three sections, which, when fitted
+together, reached the height of about eight feet six inches. The top
+section was fitted with a leather hinge, which allowed the upper half
+of it to slope back at an angle of forty-five degrees, so that the
+hiding-place should not appear to be hollow. When at last the doll's
+house was finished, it defied all efforts to whiten it, and seemed to
+have a rooted objection to being made to resemble the dirty whitewash
+of the bath-room. I tried melting old whitewash (scraped off the
+walls) with gum and hot water, but it either fell off when dry or
+showed the wet cardboard plainly through. Chloride of lime proved
+equally useless. Only a little white paint was procurable, but this
+was altogether too smooth and shiny. One day, when the three sections were
+drying outside on the sand, a German _feldwebel_ (sergeant-major--commonly
+known as a "fieldwobble") came along, and inquired if I was making a
+model aeroplane. When I replied that his surmise was correct, he asked
+me, with a slow smile, if I intended flying away when the machine was
+completed. The wicked old creature departed, highly amused at my
+answer, "Yes, I hope so." Certainly many a true word is spoken in
+jest!
+
+After a week's experimenting with useless colouring mixtures, I was
+almost in despair, when the desired effect was produced by coating the
+cardboard with a thick cornflour paste, finally toning it down with a
+mixture of cobwebs and mud.
+
+Though on three separate occasions I had everything ready for the
+final test, it was not before August 16th that conditions were at last
+favourable enough to risk my welfare for the next few weeks. A little
+before five o'clock I entered the bath-room, accompanied by several
+assistants. Our journey thither was rather amusing, though the
+slightest accident would have meant much "_stuben_ arrest." It is not
+easy to walk naturally when carrying a young wall out of sight under
+one's coat, which is doing its best to give the show away by shedding
+bits of plaster which fall to the ground and leave a trail, reminding
+one strongly of a paper chase.
+
+However, the sentries noticed nothing unusual. As soon as the Hun's
+back was turned I slipped the sections together and squeezed into the
+alcove, into which I was securely fastened by a friend, who whispered
+that everything looked O.K., and asked me to be sure and write to him
+when I got to England. Whether this was meant or not I do not know,
+but at any rate it was just the encouragement I needed. It was an
+anxious moment when everybody left the room with a final "Good luck,"
+and I heard the sentry approaching to make sure that nobody had been
+left behind. Previously I had determined not to watch the Hun, as my
+gaze might render him more liable to look in my direction. Now, under
+the stress of circumstances, this seemed a physical impossibility, and
+all good resolutions went to the winds. I glued one eye to the
+spy-hole and saw a German standing only a few feet away, with his back
+to me, puffing solemnly at a long pipe, a rifle slung over his
+shoulder. Almost immediately, as if in answer to my concentrated gaze,
+he turned and looked straight in my direction. I promptly shrivelled
+up to nothing, and developed acute suspended animation. I simply dared
+not breath, and felt as if my thoughts were becoming audible. My
+relief was indescribable when he turned away, and left in an ordinary
+manner. Though one crisis was over, the strain had been such that it
+took me several minutes to "defossilise" and grasp the fact that,
+somewhere in the dim distance, the chances of success were increasing.
+
+A few minutes later a N.C.O. came in, and searched about for soap. As
+he was pocketing some small bits left behind, my wall threatened to
+fall outwards, but I managed to hold it steady until he went away. A
+five-and-a-half hour wait lay in front of me, and, my prison being
+dark, stifling and hot, the time passed intolerably slowly. After
+waiting patiently for what I judged to be anything from half to
+three-quarters of an hour, I would glance at my watch, only to
+discover that, in reality, four or five minutes had passed. My primary
+success was evidently well known inside the camp, for most of the
+fellows taking their evening stroll cast anxious veiled glances in my
+direction, from the wrong side of the wire.
+
+It was with both pleasure and anxiety that I watched the darkness
+slowly closing in, though I felt inclined to disbelieve that "Time and
+tide wait for no man." Half-past ten did eventually arrive, and with
+it the now unwelcome time for action. Slowly, and with infinite
+caution, I stepped out into the room, and replaced the wall to give
+some one else a chance later on. Most of my kit was in the stove, and,
+as there were no fire-irons about, considerable noise was made lifting
+the iron top and extracting the contents with my fingers. Everything
+was now squashed into a sort of pack, and I approached the window on
+tip-toe. Within the camp all was quiet, but there, just outside,
+passing and repassing on his beat, often not ten yards away, was a
+particularly young and active German sentry, stepping quietly, with an
+elastic tread. He held his rifle in his hands, and gazed intently into
+the camp, as if expecting some shooting practice. When he reached the
+end of his short beat, I opened the door with many misgivings, and
+crept along a passage to the back of the hut. Entering the empty
+wash-room, I saw that my information had been correct, the windows
+were not barred. In an adjoining room several Huns were settling down
+for the night, their light showing under the door.
+
+I had almost reached the nearest window when, with a most appalling
+crash, I overturned an empty bucket in the dark. Listening an instant,
+I heard surprised voices and waited for no further developments, but,
+coat, pack and all, jumped through the half-open window and fell into
+a ditch below. Struggling up and tripping over another wire, I landed
+in another ditch. After leaving this my way lay beyond the shadow of
+the hut across a cultivated patch of moor, planted with potatoes,
+which was illuminated by the arc lamps. I covered this in record time,
+everything rattling and seeming to make a most deafening noise, as
+though all the devils in Hell were after me with red-hot pitchforks,
+expecting to hear a bullet whistle by every moment. However, nothing
+happened, and when several hundred yards away, I halted for about ten
+minutes to listen for the bugle sounding the alarm. It would have been
+some satisfaction to know that the camp was buzzing like a bee-hive,
+and all on my account! But, owing to the clever way in which my room
+mates worked it, my absence was not noticed, and so this pleasure was
+denied me.
+
+I shouldered my heavy pack and started out over the heather in the
+direction indicated by the stars. The greatest obstacles were the peat
+bogs, into which I often sank knee-deep, and had to crawl out. After
+about two hours rough walking, I was lying among the heather resting,
+when I was startled by a slight noise like the rattle of a chain.
+Looking up quickly as the moon came out from behind a cloud, I saw a
+dark shape, which seemed to move considerably closer and a little to
+the left, as I watched. A general survey of my position was not
+reassuring, for, in the light, I could distinctly see half-a-dozen
+more dark forms situated on my front and sides at regular intervals,
+mostly in a crouching position. Instantly I thought that somehow I had
+been traced by dogs, and that these were sentries. Knowing the gentle
+way in which the inmates of this camp were treated, I must confess
+that I was very scared. I had not even a stick; besides, one could
+wish for a more congenial meeting-place to accost gentlemen of this
+sort than a lonely moor at midnight. Behind me was a long cutting,
+filled with dark water, from which peat had been taken; into this I
+cautiously slid up to my shoulders, and waited developments. Nothing
+happened, and, as I became colder and colder, I began to think that,
+after all, I had been mistaken. Was it possible that they were only
+heaps of peat? At last I summoned up enough courage to crawl out and
+approach one of the mysterious forms. Still nothing happened, and my
+confidence increased considerably. I had only gone a few yards when I
+saw that it was actually only a heap of peat with a large piece lying
+near the top which protruded sideways, this having formed the supposed
+sentry's head. Even then I did not feel quite convinced until I
+administered a hard kick and there was no retaliation.
+
+During the night I passed several villages, and once found myself
+among a lot of small apple trees, which I shook violently. Down
+tumbled some unripe fruit. It did not take long to fill my pockets and
+clear off at full speed. Towards morning I lost sight of the camp
+lights, and, entering a small fir plantation, arranged a good
+hiding-place and soon fell asleep. In less than an hour I awoke in a
+soaking condition, and sat up with a start, the only result being that
+the movement shook the fir branches over my head, and a shower-bath
+ensued. The next day I enjoyed five thunderstorms! No sooner had one
+passed over than another came up. My home-made tent, a large sheet of
+green oilsilk, smuggled from home, kept off a good deal of the rain,
+but, nevertheless, I had a good opportunity of studying the condition
+of a half-drowned rat. In spite of the wet and the presence of some
+large wood-ants, I rather enjoyed the sour apples, the first I had
+tasted that summer. Once during the afternoon a red squirrel came
+jumping over the fir needles, and looked up impudently into my face.
+The sight of so much ugliness almost overcame him, but he managed to
+scamper off at a good speed. I tried hard to attract this, my only
+friend, by pretending to be Hiawatha, and calling him an
+"_Adjidaumo_," but this only hurried his retreat.
+
+My food consisted mostly of chocolate and biscuits, though, for the
+first three days, I did not feel at all hungry. Water was very scarce,
+but I received more than my share a few days later. The third night,
+leaving the moon behind, I climbed over a barbed wire fence, and found
+myself among a lot of large and boney black-and-white Holstein cattle.
+Murmuring soft German words of endearment, I approached the nearest
+cow in the hope of obtaining some milk. However, these good creatures,
+thinking it a most unusual milking hour, were not having any, and
+showed their disapproval of my conduct by careering madly round the
+field, making a fiendish noise, which caused the author of the
+disturbance to take to his heels for fear of discovery. A little later
+I changed my tactics. After stealing several luscious apples, I
+presented them to another walking milk-tank. The creature had a softer
+heart, and succumbed to the temptation. Everything went according to
+plan, for, while she munched the apple contentedly, I proceeded to
+fill a large tin mug several times over. I tramped for ten nights, and
+only missed my milk three times. Another night, passing in front of a
+farm-house, I came upon a full milk-can standing by a gate; the
+contents not only filled my water bottle, but even satisfied me.
+
+One morning, after an unusually long march, I flopped down and went to
+sleep in an overgrown ditch, surrounded by gorse and broom. The sun
+was just rising when I awoke with the idea that I was lying on a bed
+of pins. The idea grew to a firm conviction when an involuntary
+movement of mine considerably increased my discomfort. As I lay trying
+to solve the problem in a semi-conscious condition, the solution ran
+across my face; it seemed to have a great many legs. As my fingers
+closed round it I received another violent pin-prick, but held on
+manfully and, with an effort, forced myself to look at my prey. It was
+a gigantic angry wood-ant, which hung on to my finger for all it was
+worth. Considering the two things which terrify me most are ants and
+centipedes, perhaps the reader will understand my perturbed state of
+mind when I found myself lying beside a large ants' nest, being slowly
+devoured by its inhabitants, like a fat green caterpillar. As if
+propelled by a rocket I sprang up, and ran up and down the short ditch
+at full speed. When fatigue had brought me to a stop I was delighted
+to find that they had mostly been shaken off out of my clothes. It was
+impossible to find a resting place free from ants, the whole place was
+infested with them. In my efforts to avoid them I climbed to the top
+of a thick pine tree, but even there my little friends were parading
+along the branches. The day proved to be so hot and thundery that,
+before twelve o'clock, the milk in my bottle turned solid and had to
+be eaten like junket. It was with great satisfaction that I watched
+the darkness setting in, for, under its protection, I was enabled to
+leave the unholy spot and continue my nightly travels.
+
+One of the things which had troubled me considerably when planning my
+escape was how to reset my watch should it go wrong. As it was, the
+village clocks kept me well informed by striking the hour with much
+vigour. The next day, as I lay hidden at the edge of a very young
+plantation, a party of labourers with scythes assembled not far away.
+After leaving their coats and, presumably, their provisions behind,
+they proceeded to cut the grass along the edge of the plantation and
+in a neighbouring field. As I lay "doggo" I formulated many plans for
+stealing their food to replenish my store, but finally decided that
+the risk was too great. Only once did I think that I had been
+discovered, for, as I was passing my time in a wood by carving a
+souvenir stick, something burst close beside me, making quite a
+commotion and breaking many twigs. Just before the branches closed I
+caught sight of a fluffy white tail. After all it was only a
+frightened deer.
+
+Late on the sixth night I was walking fast along the side of a road
+which led through a forest when, stopping an instant to listen, I
+heard a low voice shout about forty yards in front. Then some one
+approached with a previously concealed lantern. Instantly I jumped
+over the ditch, hoping to get away under the trees unnoticed.
+Unfortunately, I landed on some dry twigs, which crackled at every
+step and betrayed my presence. Remembering the deer incident, I
+emitted a loud, coughing bark, such as those animals make, and crashed
+through the undergrowth, making as much noise as possible. To my
+relief I saw that the man with the lantern turned back to his post to
+rejoin his companion--presumably the ruse succeeded. It was just as
+well I was not caught here, for now I have reason to believe that I
+was close to an important aerodrome, and that this was a
+guard--possibly against espionage.
+
+The distance covered was, roughly, a hundred and sixty miles, and,
+during the whole period, only once did I recognise the name of a small
+town on a milestone, which told me I was going in the right direction.
+The fact of having no one to talk to for so many days, combined with
+the uncertainty of it all, had the most depressing influence. While
+waiting for the long days to pass, killing countless mosquitoes, I
+frequently wondered if the stars could be purposely leading me in the
+wrong direction, or if peace had been declared, and I was on an
+unnecessarily tiring walking tour. As I was approaching a busy
+railway, I frequently heard thuds and crashes, or, if the wind was
+steady, a faint roar, which, I afterwards found, was caused by the
+continued traffic and shunting of trucks. This troubled me quite a
+lot, for it sounded exactly like an intermittent bombardment, and not
+infrequently increased in volume, until I am convinced an old soldier
+would have sworn it was a distant barrage. I pictured my arrival at
+the frontier only to learn that Holland had decided to be in the
+fashion, and was therefore running a little war on her own, on the
+popular Bolshevik excuse of upholding the cause of democracy. The only
+thing left for me to do would have been to have turned about and,
+after many trials and hardships, succeed in getting into Switzerland,
+where Fate, with a smile on her face, would probably have arranged to
+have me shot by accident while on my way through Zurich, during the
+subsequent riots.
+
+Our "_moutons_" in the meantime, have been straying badly; it is,
+therefore, our duty to leave dreams to take care of themselves, and
+return to the subject without more ado. When I had been on the loose
+for a week the country became very flat and sodden--water was
+everywhere. Most of the roads were banked up to guard against flood,
+while all ditches were transformed into small canals. Trees became
+scarcer and, consequently, the daily problem of finding effectual
+cover increased in difficulty. Nearly all the seventh night I followed
+a tow-path at the side of an important canal, which led in a northerly
+direction. Innumerable movable bridges, traversing the lesser
+waterways which flowed into the big canal, had to be crossed. This
+procedure was more alarming than one might suppose, as the frail
+bridges shook at the slightest touch, and also advertised my crossing
+to the inmates of the usual adjoining lodge by magnifying every little
+sound. Most of the way, moored at the water's edge, were barges laden
+with peat, containing all sorts of dogs; in fact, in several instances
+they seemed to be veritable floating dogs' homes. These creatures
+barked as if paid to, and were usually sympathetically answered by
+dogs some distance in advance, thus inadvertently proclaiming the news
+of my arrival. Once two men came out of a cottage twenty yards ahead,
+and, stopping in the path, turned round and watched me approaching.
+That time I really thought the game was up. It was absolutely
+essential to maintain a bold exterior, despite the fact that my
+breathing apparatus almost ceased to work. Slouching quickly along, I
+whistled a bar or two of "Pueppchen." Curiously enough my presence at
+that time of night created no suspicion, for I passed them without
+being spoken to. Before taking a road leading to the west, I sat down
+and dissolved my last Oxo cube in a mug of cold, greenish canal water.
+The meal is prepared as follows: First suck your middle finger until
+it tastes clean, then stir the Oxo until it is dissolved (this usually
+takes about half an hour). Before drinking the concoction it is
+necessary to remove any dead fishes that may be floating on the
+surface, and also make certain that none of the Oxo is wasted by
+remaining underneath the finger nails.
+
+At intervals I was very gratified to see that the sky, to the north
+and north-east, was illuminated by distant searchlights. As several
+naval bases lay in that direction, it is reasonable to suppose that
+the Huns were expecting a visit from our airmen. After following the
+road for over an hour, I procured some excellent apples at a wayside
+farm-house, and beat a hasty retreat. As time wore on and the milk
+carts began rumbling on their rounds, I quickened my pace and
+commenced a desperate search for cover. Leaving the road, I headed
+across the fields, and after jumping, or falling into, several flooded
+ditches, came to an overgrown marsh. A few yards from _terra firma_
+was a large sallow bush, growing on a tiny island. After getting
+thoroughly wet, I succeeded in crawling on to this and screening my
+headquarters from prying eyes with green rushes. As it became lighter,
+I heard occasional voices and peculiar creakings, the cause of which I
+could not interpret, and might well render my position unsafe. The
+anxiety was increased when a large, dark shadow loomed out of the fog
+and threatened to completely swallow my little island. All at once the
+curling white mist drifted away, and everything was explained in an
+instant. The terrifying shadow resolved itself into the great
+red-brown sail of a passing barge. I was lying close beside the
+tow-path of a canal. Just as the sun had risen over the trees and the
+mists were beginning to disperse and float upwards, another noise
+attracted my attention, which developed into a deep throbbing roar.
+Looking up, I saw three large "Zepps," flying low, and rolling
+slightly in the stiff morning breeze, returning to their lair after a
+strenuous night out. As they passed over the school-children in a
+neighbouring village cheered excitedly.
+
+Except for the usual mosquito bites and inability to sleep, the day
+passed uneventfully. When darkness fell and all was quiet again, I
+once more saddled up and started out, this time earnestly hoping, yet
+fearing, to reach the river Ems, which had to be swum whatever
+happened. About midnight I came to something concrete at last--a
+long-expected railway. After a short reconnaissance, I crossed this,
+and made my way over the fields towards the all-important river, which
+flowed parallel to the frontier and about twenty kilos away from it.
+Every few yards I came to a dyke, which always had to be passed
+through if the direction was to be kept. It was an odious experience,
+for, no sooner did I emerge dripping from one than it was time to
+enter the next. About three o'clock, after milking several cows and
+swimming a few small canals, I passed through some open flood-gates,
+built in a grass ridge made to keep the water from encroaching on the
+low-lying farms, and came upon a most disheartening sight. Beyond
+several hundred yards of dangerous marsh flowed the river, looking
+very white in the deceptive light of early morning. The wavelets
+formed by the steady wind and the current were making a faint, but
+disconcerting, noise. Though it was only just possible to discern the
+opposite bank, there seemed to be a similar line of marshy ground
+between it and the water's edge. I determined to see if it was
+possible to get through the marsh with any degree of safety, but gave
+up the idea when some of the old decayed reeds on which I was standing
+suddenly gave way and let me through into the water up to my waist. No
+matter how good a swimmer, a reedy swamp is more than one can contend
+with, therefore I gave up the idea. Crawling out and walking a little
+way along the bank, something loomed up in front of me out of the
+darkness, which turned out to be a long iron bridge. Looking
+cautiously along it, I saw a couple of dim lights burning near the
+other side. What an easy way over; how I should have loved to stroll
+across; but it could not be, for a German guard was waiting there to
+receive me with open arms. Reluctantly I turned away and struck
+inland, intending to travel parallel to the river for some distance
+and then try my luck at another place. Shortly afterwards, when
+tramping along on the grass at the side of a road in search of a
+hiding-place, I heard footsteps approaching. At either side of the
+road grew a row of young trees, but, unfortunately, the trunks were
+not large enough to hide behind. The conditions were such as to render
+discovery inevitable should a hasty retirement be effected. For
+several precious seconds I stood paralysed with indecision, seeing my
+danger, yet unable to avoid it; meanwhile it seemed that cruel fate
+was carelessly deciding my destiny, weighing freedom against captivity
+in a balance, which my indecision was slowly causing to turn against
+me. For a brief period my brain refused to work, except vaguely to
+bring to my notice a few lines from "Eldorado," which affirm that
+there exists a loophole of escape in every difficult situation. This
+seemed to affect my present critical position, though it in no wise
+suggested a course of action.
+
+As I looked at the dyke which ran along at the side of the raised
+road, calculating that the noise made by a passage through it would
+only lead to detection, I clearly remembered an incident in "Lorna
+Doone," in which John Ridd, when a boy, had completely avoided
+discovery by his enemy (Carver Doone) by submerging himself in a
+stream and breathing through a straw. Without waiting to remove the
+pack, I followed his example by throwing myself on my face and
+crawling backwards on to the tangled reeds, which parted with a
+squelch and let me through into the stagnant water. The dyke proved to
+be deeper than I expected. My feet barely touched the bottom, so that
+I was literally clutching a straw to keep myself up. As the footsteps
+passed I kept my face and head under the surface, and trusted to
+Providence. When all the sounds died away, it took me some time
+struggling with mud, weeds and water, before I could extricate myself
+from that confounded ditch. I do not make a good water-rat; I would
+therefore suggest to the German authorities that they should train
+water spaniels, and not police dogs, for pursuit of prisoners in the
+future.
+
+I had only been walking for a little while when the distant rumble of
+a milk-cart reminded me that it was past time to hibernate. Then began
+the usual desperate search for cover. It became lighter and lighter,
+and, just as the mist was about to rise, I saw the faint outline of a
+clump of trees several hundred yards away. Plunging through more
+dykes I arrived at the trees, only to find that they were growing in a
+small garden and orchard which surrounded a large farm-house. As no
+one appeared to be stirring, and the discovery of an immediate
+hiding-place was essential, I commenced explorations. The privet hedge
+surrounding this oasis proved to be very thin and there were no
+convenient little bushes. I had just borrowed a good supply of apples
+from mine host, and had almost decided to seek shelter in an outhouse
+as a last resource, when I came upon a fair-sized heap of sticks, over
+which a hop plant sprawled, forming a straggly green covering. There
+being no better place, I decided that the hop would have to serve as
+my headquarters for that day. I was just moving some of the sticks
+when something caused me to remember the lateness of the hour. From a
+pigsty a few yards away came expectant squeals. The occupants
+doubtless imagined that I was arriving with their breakfast. As I was
+getting ready to crawl into the sticks, I caught sight of a little
+patch of washing close by, lying spread on the grass at the corner of
+a small green lawn. When the good lady came for her washing she would,
+in all probability, discover me, which would never do, as it would
+lead to all kinds of little unpleasantnesses. In a very short space of
+time I had moved the white handkerchiefs and collars to another
+corner of the lawn, not far away, and returned to the heap. I was
+beginning to tunnel into the sticks, when I heard a man's voice,
+followed by the clatter of milk cans. Diving into the small hole
+already made, I wriggled for all I was worth towards the centre,
+dragging the pack after me. It sounds quite simple; all you have to do
+is to wriggle; but, in reality, it is surprisingly difficult. When I
+tried to force an entrance every dead bough in the heap seemed to
+break with an ear-splitting crash, while all the smaller twigs
+crackled in chorus. The most peaceable sticks developed sharp spikes,
+which stuck into me. Even when I had removed a particularly
+objectionable one barring the way, another would shoot out and grasp
+my pack, causing an additional delay. Eventually, in a scratched and
+weary condition, I got under the centre of the heap, where I lay
+feeling none too secure. Although I was forced to keep still for fear
+of attracting attention, I managed to nibble the stolen apples and
+take stock of my surroundings. The light shone through the pale green
+hop leaves, revealing many hairy caterpillars, incessantly gorging.
+Inside the heap lived innumerable spiders and other horrors. These
+believed in making their presence felt when I did not deign to notice
+them. It was a very uncomfortable procedure, drying slowly in a cold
+wind. Once, when the leaves blew on one side, I caught a glimpse of a
+pear tree swaying overhead, and a dark, forbidding sky in the
+background. That day I enjoyed two heavy thunderstorms. At first the
+leaves kept off most of the rain, but it soon battered down with such
+violence that the former became limp and hung down, leaving me almost
+exposed. Everything became saturated. A steady stream of water poured
+off the sticks and ran down my neck, while the insects eagerly sought
+shelter in my clothing. When the first storm was over, and I lay
+shivering in the bright interval, two children came out of the house
+and played about in the garden, running several times round and round
+my heap. It was such a strain lying absolutely still that I almost
+welcomed the second thunderstorm, though it completely soaked
+everything that the first one had overlooked. Never in my life have I
+passed such an uncomfortable day. But, in the end, discomfort is
+preferable to actual danger in an adventure of this sort. At least so
+I thought in those days. As it is beyond me to convey to the reader
+any adequate idea of the unwillingness of the minutes to resolve
+themselves into hours, I will not attempt the impossible. Towards
+evening some one fired a shot-gun just beyond the privet hedge.
+Naturally the explosion caused me to jump, but that was nothing to the
+fright I experienced when it struck me that it might be a small boy
+out rat shooting, as vermin always run to a conveniently close heap of
+sticks for shelter. However, the person did not come my way, and in
+any case it is probable he was only after wild duck, which frequent
+most of the dykes. At last, when I could stand it no longer, I
+scrambled out into the dusk, guiltily ignoring the fact that I was
+running an unnecessary risk by starting on the war-path an hour too
+soon.
+
+
+
+
+                               CHAPTER X
+
+                                THE EMS
+
+
+There was no one about, so, after enjoying a good stretch, I pushed
+through the privet, jumped a narrow dyke, and started out over the
+low-lying fields towards the high grassy barrier which advertised the
+approach to the dreaded river. It was almost dark when I came to
+another portion of the winding, snake-like barrier, which curved out
+as if to meet me. Approaching it, I found that a thick and apparently
+endless prickly May hedge grew along the base. Getting through it
+proved to be such a painful proceeding that it seems probable that as
+soon as the hedge saw an Englishman coming towards it, it sharpened
+its claws and resolved to defend the way to the frontier to the last
+thorn. Of course I may be wrong in my surmise, but I well remember
+that, when I began extracting thorns afterwards, it was like plucking
+a pin-cushion. Crawling on hands and knees up the slippery grassy
+slope, I soon arrived at the top and, scrambling to my feet, looked
+eagerly towards the unknown West. The grassy barrier rose to an even
+height of about thirty feet above the low-lying country. On one side,
+the nearer dykes dividing the fields showed up a dull white in the
+semi-darkness; while on the other, beyond a narrow fringe of swaying
+reed-grass, ran the broad dark river. Although a steady wind was
+blowing, it was not quite as strong as on the previous night, the
+noise of the ripples breaking on the shore not being so pronounced. As
+I had not been dry for several days, the prospect of a prolonged bathe
+was not at all alluring. The longer I looked towards the opposite bank
+the more distant it appeared to be, and the greater became the width
+and volume of the river, until it seemed to be quite impassable.
+Hesitation meant failure, so, running down to the water's edge, I
+began to undress quickly. All at once it struck me that it would be
+foolish to wrap all my earthly belongings in one bundle, for, should
+it come to grief on the way over, I should have a decidedly cool time
+of it after my arrival at the other bank of the river.
+
+Besides, it would be most undignified to be compelled to walk up to a
+German sentry and address him thus: "Please, sir, I am suffering from
+loss of memory and seem to have mislaid my clothes; would you be good
+enough to supply me with a few, as fig trees do not abound in these
+parts?"
+
+Therefore, spreading my sodden waterproof on the ground, I deposited
+in it my tunic, shoes and now half-empty pack. Stuffing all the vacant
+space tightly with grass, I secured the corners by binding them
+together with my braces and bits of torn handkerchief. To complete the
+operation, I fastened my souvenir walking-stick (which, though large
+and clumsy, was exceedingly precious) to the bottom of the bundle in
+order to improve its floating capacities. Passing through the thin
+edging of reed-grass, I stepped into the shallow water and felt my
+feet sink into the deep mud, which gurgled hungrily and sent little
+lines of bubbles up to the surface. In a few strides I was out of my
+depth and amid the swirling eddies, which sought to drag me off down
+stream.
+
+Fortunately the water was warm and the bundle floated well.
+Considering the fact that I had already been tramping for eight days
+on short rations, it is not surprising that I found swimming against a
+steady wind to be very tiring. I kept the bundle well ahead by giving
+it a good push every few strokes, when I overtook it. After swimming
+for several minutes, I unconsciously changed my direction a little, at
+the same time giving the bundle another push ahead. At this part the
+river curved slightly, and the result was that the wind caught my
+worldly belongings and whirled them off down stream. Signalling to the
+engine-room for full speed ahead, I dashed off in pursuit, soon
+overtaking the runaway bundle. By this time, being very out of breath,
+I hung on to it, and was delighted to find that it would practically
+support me. I had been swimming for some little time and it seemed
+probable that my objective would not be far away, so, looking up at
+the stars and noting where the west lay, I raised myself in the water
+and looked for the opposite bank. Curiously enough, it seemed almost
+as far distant as it had been at first. Instinctively I looked back,
+and there, only a little way behind me, was the shore I had just left.
+I must admit that the sight was not encouraging. Well--hanging on to a
+waterlogged bundle and swallowing tadpoles would not help matters, so
+I settled down to business, swimming steadily on my side, but often
+changing the stroke, and heading a little up-stream to counteract the
+force of the current.
+
+Ever so gradually the water became calmer and the shore more clearly
+defined, until I could see a fringe of weeds similar to the one I had
+left. Vaguely I wondered if it would be really worth the extra effort
+required to actually reach it. It seemed so easy to give up. Just as I
+felt my remaining strength slipping away at each stroke I touched some
+soft warm mud. Mud as a rule does not have a stimulating effect on
+one, but then the very touch of it put new life into me. Dragging my
+bundle, I made a final effort to get ashore, but fell in the shallow
+water, where I lay utterly exhausted, hardly conscious of my
+surroundings, my head sinking gradually lower and lower. It must have
+been the objectionable taste of the muddy water which brought me to my
+senses sufficiently to enable me to leave the river for a more
+congenial resting place, namely, some grass at the edge of a field.
+When at last I got up, feeling very cold, and untied the bundle I
+found that everything was absolutely soaking. Assuredly there are many
+more enjoyable pastimes than putting on wet clothes in a cold wind in
+the dark.
+
+When everything was ready for the night's tramp, I discovered that my
+cap was missing, and after a short fruitless search, decided to leave
+it behind. Tired, shivering, and hatless, I started off into the West,
+reckoning that now the frontier could not be much more than a night's
+march away. No sooner had I crossed the little stubble field than I
+came to a ridge, beyond which the ground dropped several feet in a
+steep slope. As I moved down this incline towards what appeared to be
+a hedge, the ground became quite wet. Suspiciously I looked ahead into
+the darkness towards what seemed to be only an expanse of lower
+ground. Near the hedge the water rose over my ankles, but I forged on,
+determined to know the worst. I was not long in suspense, for the
+hedge in front rustled (a thing that well-trained hedges do not do),
+and I knew that it was another long line of high reed-grass. Fearfully
+I parted this with my hands, and there, in front, lay a rippling sheet
+of water, fully as wide as the river I had just crossed. With a thump
+my heart went down into my boots, and the little devil of despair
+whispered that I must be near the mouth of the river, on an island, a
+prisoner of my own making. (In truth, this was very nearly the case,
+for, as I feared, I was very far north, this accounting for the volume
+and width of the river.) This stretch of water was totally unexpected.
+Had I been fresh and known my whereabouts, it would have formed a
+formidable enough obstacle; as it was, I had already done more than my
+share of bathing for that night, and knew that I was in a totally
+unfit condition to attempt another long-distance swim.
+
+Obviously the first thing to be done was to make certain that I was
+indeed on an island, so I proceeded to take stock of my surroundings.
+I noticed that, except for the rough patches on the water which caught
+the wind, the surface was comparatively smooth, and there was no sign
+of a current. Walking a few yards to the right, I saw that the line of
+the old river and this strip of unknown water converged, leaving
+little hope in that direction. I therefore turned about, and started
+off to my left front. Evidence that the cereal crop had been carted
+quite recently was plentiful, for there was short, fresh stubble, cart
+tracks, and the impression of horses' hoofs. This pointed to the
+encouraging fact that I was not on an island, horses and carts not
+usually being transported by barge or aeroplane. I had not followed
+the tracks for more than fifty yards when they turned straight towards
+the water. The next minute I barely stifled a yell of delight, for
+there, staring me in the face, was a sort of pontoon bridge,
+stretching away into the darkness. On closer inspection, I found it to
+be composed of bundles of brushwood which were held together in some
+mysterious manner, and appeared to lie on the water. The surface of
+the bridge was in very bad repair and, as some of the top bundles of
+sticks were missing or pointing upwards at an angle, progress was very
+slow; but, sometimes walking, sometimes crawling, I got along at quite
+a good pace. Once it seemed that I should have to swim a short
+distance, but I found it to be unnecessary, as only the top layer of
+the bundles was missing. Nearing the other side, I made out a factory
+building of some sort, with a high chimney, a little way from the end
+of the bridge, and heard the occasional bark of a watch-dog. Try as I
+would, I could not move an inch without causing a number of sticks to
+crackle loudly--it was almost as bad as crawling under the heap of
+sticks the morning before. Fortunately the wind must have drowned any
+noise made, or carried the sound away, for, though the dog continued
+to bark intermittently, it cannot have been aware of my presence.
+
+Skirting the factory, I went across country, avoiding roads and houses
+like poison. The land was very low and flat and the dykes very
+numerous, sometimes whole fields being practically inundated. The only
+things that tended to relieve the monotony were the solitary gaunt
+willow trees, most of them mere shells of their former selves, which
+stood out from the misty darkness, black and threatening, like grim
+sentinels.
+
+Everywhere was water, water, water. Every few seconds I was up to my
+waist in it. Often I tried to jump a narrow dyke and misjudged the
+distance, or got a bad "take off," owing to the softness of the
+ground; this usually resulted in my falling with a splash into the
+middle. I think the most aggravating thing of all was to make a really
+good jump and land on the other side, just beyond the water-line, on
+all fours, only to find that I had not enough impetus to remain there,
+as the ground was sloping. Sometimes I was able to save myself by
+jabbing my stick into the ground, though, more often than not, this
+was impracticable, and my hands could find nothing firmer to catch
+hold of than a few tufts of grass, which almost invariably gave way,
+causing me to do a graceful but involuntary backward dive into the
+dyke. As constant exercise of this sort is very tiring and the weight
+of water contained in one's clothes greatly hinders freedom of action,
+my progress was necessarily rather slower than usual. A little after
+midnight the ground became harder, and I soon found myself once more
+on a moor, wandering along a narrow sandy track, among deep heather
+and broom bushes. Just as I was getting a little drier and it seemed
+as if the watery nightmare was over, I ran into a series of peat bogs,
+many of them more dangerous than those I had encountered my first
+night out.
+
+I found the best way to cross a narrow strip of marsh was to make a
+rush to the firm ground, as these tactics did not allow enough time
+for my feet to sink in very far. Once the little track I was
+cautiously following ended abruptly at the edge of a particularly
+watery-looking bog, which not only barred my way in front, but also
+curved round on both flanks. In order to avoid this _cul-de-sac_ it
+would have been necessary to make a wide detour, the accomplishment of
+which would have involved the wasting of much valuable time. Selecting
+a point where this strip of marshy ground appeared to be the
+narrowest, I retreated a few steps, gathered myself together, and,
+after a short run, attempted to take the bog by surprise and get
+across before it was quite ready to receive me. Wallowing towards the
+other side, I felt my feet sinking deeply into the decayed peaty moss,
+which gurgled expectantly. I was almost over when suddenly, in a
+second, I sank almost to my waist. Immediately throwing myself on my
+face, I scrambled forward, and digging my stick into the firm ground
+in front, pulled for all I was worth. I was almost free when my poor
+stick broke off with a resounding crack, leaving the top half in my
+hands. This I again drove into the firm ground, and with a final
+effort, drew myself out. After a short rest, during which I mourned
+the loss of my beloved stick, I went on my way determined not to risk
+a passage over any deceitful bogs in the future unless it was
+absolutely unavoidable. Very soon the heather became scarcer, and once
+again I was among dykes and flat, misty, green fields.
+
+For the next two or three hours I ploughed along towards the west,
+climbing over barbed-wire fences and wading through dykes, unless I
+was lucky enough to find a plank or small bridge spanning the latter.
+Scarcely perceptibly the darkness of the eastern sky changed to a dull
+cold grey and the landscape became clearer, revealing the bare
+motionless arms of several windmills stretching out into the clearer
+air, some distance away, in different directions. I roughly judged
+that I could not be far from the frontier. I might even have crossed
+it! Though I did my best to suppress undue optimism, this last rather
+improbable idea persisted in occupying my thoughts. It is true I had
+seen nothing recently on the way to arouse suspicion, but, owing to
+the marshy nature of the country, the guards might well be few and far
+between. The spirit of approaching dawn lent a faint tinge of colour
+to the lonely sweeps of white mist drifting slowly above the flat dark
+fields, and, settling down over the dykes, it commenced to unravel and
+piece together the ghostly confusion of dim blurred shadows and
+grossly exaggerated reflections crowding on the smooth, oily surface
+of the water, until they began to assume a definite shape. I could
+almost imagine that I was gazing at one of Tingue's early-morning
+landscapes, so unmistakably Dutch was the scene. Having got thus far
+no speculations of any sort could be indulged in, the price of
+uncertainty being too great. A distant village clock chimed four, each
+beat vibrating clearly in the still air. The crisis was at hand.
+Having successfully evaded capture during the eight preceding nights
+and days, the very thought of failure was unbearable, and compelled me
+to face the eternal problem of seeking adequate cover for the day at
+an earlier hour than usual. I therefore commenced a search without
+delay, experiencing the while, I am convinced, most of the alarming
+sensations felt by many fat, juicy worms who, having lost their
+burrows, are endeavouring to avoid contact with all marauding "early
+birds." The first glance revealed not so much as a bush or hollow
+willow tree in the immediate vicinity, but in a few minutes I made out
+a number of heaps of some sort away to the right, through the
+semi-darkness, so went to make a closer inspection, only to find that
+two rather broader dykes than usual sought to bar the way. When on the
+march a prolonged wetting is naturally most unpleasant, though the
+continued motion tends to dry one's clothes somewhat by shaking out
+much of the water. However, there being no alternative, I plunged into
+the first dyke, which proved to be quite deep, making it again
+necessary to swim a few strokes. I discovered a plank across the
+second one, and, passing over, found myself in a stubble field among a
+number of corn stooks. There being no better cover, I realised that I
+must hide in one of these little stacks, and chance my luck. The
+problem was to ascertain which part of the field was least likely to
+be overrun by people and dogs. A short inspection showed it to be very
+long and narrow, while several indications went to prove that the last
+of the crop had been cut near my original point of entry into the
+field; this was, therefore, the most desirable part to stay in, as it
+would naturally be the last to be carried. When people walk through a
+field they are most liable to wander along near the edges, or go
+through near the middle; consequently I chose a stook situated between
+the two, and about thirty yards distant from the end of the field.
+These heaps were rather too small to form a safe hiding-place, while
+an unusually large one would, in all probability, attract attention.
+It is reasonable to suppose that, should a general enlargement be
+effected embracing a number of stooks in one area, the result would be
+hardly noticeable. Removing my pack and coat, I set to work
+transporting two oat sheaves from each of the stooks in the next row
+for a length of about fifty yards, and adding them to the row in which
+my nest was planned to be. To avoid suspicion, I made the now depleted
+stooks up to their usual strength by again borrowing the same number
+of sheaves from each of the heaps in the row still further beyond.
+After repeating this strenuous operation a number of times the desired
+effect was produced, most of the heaps in my corner of the field now
+being considerably larger than the rest. Surely it was a good omen
+that my fat sheaves had devoured many of their leaner brethren, even
+though the number was not restricted to seven, as in Pharaoh's dream.
+The value of making oneself as comfortable as possible under adverse
+conditions cannot be over-estimated, for it not only stimulates the
+instinct of self-preservation, but renders one in the best condition
+to face the task ahead. Exposure and fatigue gradually wear down one's
+powers of resistance and bring with them the feeling that nothing
+matters. This is to be avoided more than anything, for it introduces
+the personal element into all reasonings, often forcing a decision
+against one's better judgment. Having chosen my special heap, I
+arranged it in such a way as to leave me as much room for movement as
+possible in the centre. As I exchanged the wetter sheaves for
+comparatively dry ones, the prospect of once again being warm was
+delightful and caused me to work with a will. Everything was almost
+completed, and I was just strewing a little dry straw on the ground
+between the sheaves, to serve as a mattress, when suddenly a man's
+voice hailed me, in unmistakable German, from a distance of about
+fifty yards: "_Was machen sie da_?" ("What are you doing there?"). Any
+doubts as to which country I was in were rudely dispelled. For a
+moment I was completely at a loss for an answer, then, bending down, I
+seized the loose sheaf (which was to have acted as a door to my
+palace) and placed it against the others, and, turning round, replied
+in low German, "I am only replacing these, which have fallen down."
+
+Two workmen were standing just beyond the dyke, having evidently
+approached by an unobserved track, and were now gazing suspiciously at
+me. There being no more prostrate sheaves, I could not very well throw
+some down and then pick them up again, for the action would not have
+been at all convincing. I therefore had to content myself with
+smoothing the side of the stook in a business-like way, trusting that
+the uncertain light would not disclose the insanity of my actions. In
+a few seconds I moved to another stook, and was commencing to stroke
+the sheaves, when the same voices demanded, in a peremptory manner, to
+know what I was really doing. It was a case of bluff, so, busying
+myself with the heap, I snapped out, "Ach! go away, I have a lot to
+do." From the murmur that reached me it was obvious that this abrupt
+answer was puzzling them considerably. My position was still extremely
+unsafe, for border folk are usually of a very suspicious nature, which
+is intensified by the activities of war. At the best of times my
+excuse would have been feeble enough. Ordinary people don't usually
+rise at four a.m. for the purpose of walking round a soaking field
+stroking sheaves of corn. Besides, it was not unlikely that I was
+talking to the owner of the field. Whether they saw the brass buttons
+on my service jacket, or merely felt that I was wanted, I do not know,
+but they walked quickly towards the plank spanning the dyke which
+divided their field from mine. Directly they reached it one of them
+shouted something that I could not understand and was immediately
+answered by a third person, away in the mist. Once across the plank
+the men, after jabbering excitedly, came towards me at a quick run.
+Needless to say, it is extremely dangerous to be chased in bare
+country of this sort just when the day is breaking and the fields
+rapidly filling with workers, for once the alarm is raised the result
+is almost certain to mean capture. This time, however, it was not a
+matter of choice; my hand had been forced, compelling me reluctantly
+to play my last card. Picking up my pack and coat, I ran as only once
+before in my varied career--the night when I almost felt the
+pitchforks belonging to the little devils which chased me away from
+Stroehen camp. After running about a hundred yards, trusting to the
+mist and uncertain light to partially screen my movements, I turned
+aside and dived headlong into a stook, pulling the straw after me. In
+a few seconds my pursuers drew level and, to my intense satisfaction,
+passed on, breathing heavily. This is the last I saw of these two
+eager sons of the Fatherland. For all I know, they may be still
+following the excellent example afforded by "Charlie's Aunt."
+
+
+
+
+                              CHAPTER XI
+
+                                HOLLAND
+
+
+I was now in a small wet stook, very cold and hungry. It being too
+light to risk a return journey to my carefully prepared nest, I had to
+take things as they were, and fell to wondering what it must feel like
+to be in a nice warm bed. The day proved to be one long nightmare. By
+careful observation I saw that a number of girls were working on the
+same crop, luckily at the other end of the field. They appeared only
+to be gleaning, but as it was quite likely this was preparatory to the
+carting, I resolved to keep a very sharp look-out to avoid being
+transfixed by a pitchfork and hoisted on to a cart. About
+breakfast-time a peculiar noise came from somewhere quite close, so,
+parting the corn carefully, I peered out in that direction. There, to
+my horror, were three men scything the rushes along a ditch which
+passed a few feet from me. The heap was a small one, and, therefore,
+to avoid detection, I endeavoured to put the best part of it between
+myself and them when they were working the closest to me. The
+completion of this operation naturally left me a little exposed on
+what I supposed to be my safe side. The men had almost passed, when I
+happened to look away from the ditch and saw a farmer standing beside
+the very next heap to mine, surveying the crop, his hands in his
+pockets. Somehow or other I wriggled back unobserved, and lay
+shivering with a combination of cold and fear. After half-an-hour's
+wait, I again looked out cautiously, and was relieved to find the man
+gone, though there seemed to be even more people in the neighbourhood
+than before. To add to my discomfort the breeze increased to quite a
+strong, piercing wind, which whistled in and out among the
+corn-sheaves until I felt very like an ice-cream in a refrigerator.
+Even then there were more trials to come, for, not only did the grain
+pour itself into my clothes, eyes and ears, but also mixed with the
+crop was a large proportion of barley or bearded wheat, which took a
+truly fiendish delight in slowly but relentlessly making its way up my
+sleeves or down my back. In this predicament it seemed almost
+unthinkable that I should ever have been so foolish in my schooldays
+as to pick barley heads and deliberately put them a little way up my
+coat-sleeves, the barbs downwards, expressly for the pleasure of
+feeling them crawling up my arms. Most of us do curious things in our
+youth!
+
+Suffice it to say that, in spite of all convictions to the contrary, I
+was still in the heap, unmolested, when the afternoon resolved itself
+into evening and the labourers left for their homes. A little before
+nine o'clock, after a short but drenching shower, I could stand it no
+longer, so crawled out, damp and cold, but still almost glad to be
+alive. Looking towards the west in the fading light, I saw a large
+shape moving slowly from left to right through the country, roughly a
+couple of miles away. It could only be a sail. With a sinking feeling
+I realised that in front lay at least one more canal which must be
+crossed. (This canal, I afterwards discovered, was actually in
+Holland.) Although I did not feel desperately hungry, I somehow felt
+that I was getting near the end of my tether; my food, also, was
+dwindling and could not last more than two days at the outside, for I
+was already half-way through my emergency ration, a tin of Quaker
+oats. Strange to say, porridge is nothing like as nice eaten raw.
+
+As soon as it was dark I started out, resolved not only to be
+extremely cautious, but, at the same time, to get as far as possible
+before the next day overtook me, time now threatening to form one of
+my most formidable adversaries. Travelling across country, I soon came
+upon a long road bordered by trees, so hid in the edge of some beans
+to make sure that all was clear before venturing across it. Almost
+immediately I heard voices not far distant, and presently a man on a
+bicycle rode past. When everything was quiet again I managed to step
+across the road unobserved, feeling sure that another danger point was
+past. The night being cold it may be imagined that I was scarcely
+overjoyed at finding it necessary to wade or swim through another
+short series of dykes; this was, however, the case. Drawing near to
+the dreaded canal, I noticed that on either flank, some distance away,
+were clusters of rather brilliant lights. Presumably this pointed to
+the fact that these lights were placed at points of special
+importance, such as strongly guarded bridges, in which case it seemed
+probable that the canal might form part of the boundary line. In order
+to avoid the slightest rustle which might attract attention, I rolled
+my raincoat and secured it over one shoulder, "bandolier fashion." I
+next covered the brass buttons of my tunic with mud, to prevent their
+reflecting the rays of a possible flashlight, and, after smearing some
+dirt on my face and hands, moved forward once more, prepared, in case
+of discovery, to make a dash towards the west regardless of the
+consequences.
+
+In a few minutes I saw, by the even line of the higher ground in
+front, that I had almost reached the raised canal, and was just
+preparing to mount the short, grassy slope when I came upon a
+hard-worn narrow track running along near the edge of a rather wide
+dyke, which separated me from the embankment. The dyke being in the
+lee of the wind it seemed advisable to ascertain whether it was
+possible to cross by any plank or bridge which might be in the
+vicinity in preference to going through it, for, though one may be
+able to get into a dyke quietly enough, the getting out is a very
+different matter when the sides are steep and one's clothes full of
+water. Walking along this path very warily for about twenty yards, I
+was lucky enough to discover a plank leading across (for except for
+the faint silhouette of the top of the embankment against the sky,
+practically everything was hidden by the darkness). Though the plank
+bent threateningly I succeeded in crossing it, and crawled to the top
+of the rise. A glance revealed a broad, reed-fringed canal, reflecting
+little dancing lights on its wind-swept surface--the stars which had
+the audacity to peep out from between the clouds. I could hear the
+splashings of a water-rat actually swimming at that time of night for
+the fun of it! Quickly crossing the tow-path and parting the reeds, I
+followed its example, and, not waiting to remove pack, clothing or
+shoes, swam towards the opposite bank as silently as possible. It can
+only have been a few yards across, but I remember feeling almost as
+tired as if I had swum the Channel. This was the tenth night of my
+escapade, and the strain was certainly beginning to tell. As I was
+leaving the canal behind some wild duck rose from a dyke close by me,
+with much flapping of wings. If their desire was to frighten me they
+certainly achieved their object.
+
+When, after an hour or more, I continued plodding along without seeing
+anything unusual, I could not help again wondering if I was still in
+German territory. My curiosity increased when two motor cycles with
+powerful headlights went by on what appeared to be a main road. I had
+not seen anything like that for weeks, so resolved to go along the
+road myself in the hope of seeing some other strange sights.
+Immediately on arriving there I had to take cover in a corner of an
+orchard to avoid another light, which was rapidly overtaking me. From
+this point of vantage I was soon able to see that the light was on a
+bicycle, and the rider not a tin soldier, complete with helmet and
+curling moustache, but a peaceably dressed young woman. Encouraged by
+the promising trend of events, I stole some apples and made my way,
+munching and shivering, towards a little group of houses, hoping to
+discover some writing which might prove which country I was in.
+Eventually I found a letter-box and feverishly endeavoured to
+decipher, in the semi-darkness, a long word printed in black letters
+on a white background. With a sinking heart I slowly made out the
+letters B--R--I--E. Was it necessary to read any further? Surely this
+was proof positive that I was still under the gentle sway of the
+Kaiser! What else could the remainder be but "fkasten," completing the
+German word for letter-box. With almost a feeling of resignation, I
+continued to wrest the remaining letters from the darkness. The
+expected F was a very peculiar shape. No, it was a V, after all! With
+every letter my hopes rose as I spelt out the remaining E N B U S. I
+do not profess to be a German scholar, but I do know that the word
+"BRIEVENBUS" does not adorn their letter-boxes in the ordinary course
+of events. Feeling vaguely happy, but still haunted by the first
+syllable of the word, I made my way further into the village. At first
+all seemed quiet, but presently I heard a couple talking near the
+entrance of a house. Creeping up as close as I dared in the deep
+shadow of the building, I strained my ears almost to dislocation to
+catch a few words of the conversation. The language they were speaking
+struck me as peculiarly ugly, and did not seem to lend itself readily
+to the uses to which they were undoubtedly putting it. The fact that
+they were not speaking ordinary German did not necessarily mean that
+the language was Dutch, for it might have been some border dialect.
+However, I could restrain myself no longer, so, walking up to the man,
+I addressed him thus in German, with as much nonchalance as I could
+command: "Can you tell me if I am in Germany or Holland?" He did not
+seem to grasp the question at once, which in itself was a good sign,
+though it lengthened my breathless suspense. I believe I would
+willingly have murdered him if, by doing so, I could have had the
+answer an instant sooner, for so much depended on it. All at once he
+straightened himself up and, in a surprised voice, replied, "Holland!"
+
+I should never have believed that one simple word could have meant so
+much. The news so completely overwhelmed me that, for a few seconds, I
+failed to grasp its import. Then, springing forward, I seized and
+shook his hand so violently that it almost threatened to fall off, at
+the same time showering explanations at him in a hundred and one
+different languages, in the hope that he would understand one of them.
+Needless to say, at first the unfortunate Dutchman was rather
+perturbed at being so cordially greeted by some one he must have
+thought to be a dangerous lunatic at large, though I consider that he
+stood the ordeal very well. I think the girl was the first to really
+grasp the situation, for, to my surprise, she congratulated me in
+broken German, and insisted on shaking hands, too. In spite of the
+good news I was still wet, cold and hungry, and the prospect of again
+sleeping in a warm bed was very alluring. I therefore inquired the way
+to the nearest hotel, and was told to make for a larger village, some
+three kilometres distant. I asked if there was any possibility of my
+taking a wrong turn leading back into Hunland, and being assured there
+was none if I followed the main road, started off in the best of
+spirits. It was just like walking on air. My dreams of freedom had at
+last come true. Though it was after one o'clock, I encountered several
+people and each time inquired the way, thus making assurance doubly
+sure. I can hardly attempt to describe the strange exultant feelings
+which surged through me as I marched along, conscious of having left
+"Brother Bosch" behind.
+
+Eventually, singing a marching song, I rounded a corner and found
+myself in a village street, almost opposite a house in front of which
+hung a sign, just distinguishable in the darkness: "Hotel Van Dijk."
+Regardless of the fact that I did not possess a cent, I proceeded to
+knock loudly on the front door. After a few minutes my efforts were
+rewarded by hearing an upstairs window open, and being told in Dutch
+to go away. However, my mind being made up, I persisted in making more
+noise than ever. Seeing his protestations were in vain, and evidently
+scenting something unusual, I understood "mein Host" to say that he
+would come down. My knowledge of the laws of internment of a neutral
+country being very limited, it behoved me to act with extreme caution
+if I wished to follow in the footsteps of brother escapers, whom I
+knew had preceded me to England.
+
+Though I had committed no act of war, such as crossing the frontier
+carrying arms, I did not feel very sure of my ground. Therefore when
+the elderly innkeeper, holding a flickering candle, shot back the
+bolts, he found me wearing only a khaki shirt and grey flannel
+trousers, the soaking raincoat and tunic having been hurriedly
+secreted in my pack, so that he could not assert that I was in uniform
+when he first saw me, in case the subject should be raised later. As
+soon as he heard the facts of the case, the Dutchman motioned me to
+accompany him along the street, which I did wonderingly. I imagined
+myself shortly being interviewed by a fat, sleepy-eyed and pompous
+burgomaster, who would either fall upon my neck, or order me straight
+back to Germany. After half-an-hour's walk, when my guide halted
+beside a long wooden hut and knocked vigorously, I decided that there
+was nothing to fear in that direction, for no such distinguished
+person would deign to live in so humble a residence. Presently, in
+answer to our repeated efforts, we heard several grumbling voices, a
+door was opened, and I was bidden to enter. As soon as I was
+accustomed to the glaring gas-light, I experienced a considerable
+shock. Occupying the whole length of the room in which I stood was a
+double line of beds, mostly containing sleeping men, and from the
+walls hung many greenish uniforms, rifles and bayonets! On recovering
+from my first surprise, I turned to a fully dressed soldier I took to
+be a sergeant, who by this time, presumably, understood that I was an
+escaped "Inglesman," and asked him, in German, for an explanation. In
+the midst of his almost unintelligible reply I caught the word
+"_Grenswacht_" (frontier guard). Seeing that we were at cross
+purposes, the sergeant roused a man who spoke very fair English and
+acted as interpreter. I soon learnt that I was in the local
+headquarters of the Dutch Frontier Guard, and would have to remain
+there until seen by an officer the next day. This suited me only too
+well, so having duly impressed the fact that I was not in uniform, I
+retired to a bed arranged for me in the N.C.O.'s room, and commenced
+to pull off my wet clothes.
+
+Meanwhile tongues had not been idle, and eager, curious faces began to
+peep at the "stray dog" through the half-open door. Just as I was
+about to turn in, curiosity could be restrained no longer; the room
+filled with noisy young fellows, who took up a position round my bed
+and proceeded to bombard me with questions. It was all so well meant
+that I endeavoured to give them a brief outline of my doings, in
+German. The idea of an Englishman speaking German was evidently quite
+beyond their comprehension, for, judging by many doubtful looks of
+astonishment, it seemed that the general impression was that I was a
+camouflaged Hun. As they all persisted in talking at once, I put an
+end to the argument by disappearing under the bedclothes. About ten
+o'clock the next morning I awoke, feeling stiffer than ever before,
+the slightest contraction of a muscle resembling the jerking of a
+rusty wire. However, when a soldier, seeing that I was awake, brought
+my breakfast, I sat up with remarkable agility and devoured every
+crumb. Never have I enjoyed a meal more. Every additional mouthful of
+the deliciously fresh Dutch cheese and new bread seemed to receive a
+still more exquisite taste when I thought of the Irish stew I had
+missed when standing behind my imitation wall at Stroehen. It was not
+until after a thoroughly good scrub and a cold bath that I could screw
+up enough courage to look at myself in a mirror, and, prepared as I
+was, the sudden reflection of the wild-eyed, bearded tramp
+considerably surprised me. A little before lunch, having obtained some
+dry underclothing, I was sitting on my bed, extracting a selection of
+barbed wire and splinters from my hands with a large needle, when a
+Dutch officer walked in to see the curiosity. He greeted me cordially
+in very good English, introducing himself as Lieutenant Hoffman, in
+charge of the local detachment of the Frontier Guard, and asked me to
+lunch with him at his hotel.
+
+On the way thither I could not help being very impressed by the design
+and beauty of the village. The houses were mostly large, with
+spacious, well-kept gardens, the streets clean and the general
+atmosphere of the place spoke of great prosperity. Hoffman took me to
+a barber, who performed for a long time, but in the end turned out a
+comparatively respectable human being. At lunch I met another Dutch
+officer, also an English scholar, who, after hearing the latter part
+of my experience, told me that I must have actually walked along the
+German sentry's path, just beyond the canal, the night before. Having
+had no escaped prisoners in that district before, they had a
+disquieting idea that I should very likely be interned. I learnt that,
+in all probability, I should proceed to a larger town for further
+examination the following day, and gathered that, in the meantime, it
+would be advisable for me to remain close to my headquarters and
+refrain from wandering about by myself, the frontier being too close
+for safety.
+
+Shortly after lunch the two officers entered the room, carrying a
+couple of sporting guns, and announced their intention of spending the
+afternoon at a canal on the frontier duck shooting, and said that I
+might expect them back about tea-time. Being a prisoner no longer the
+very thought of seeing grey-clad sentries standing at their posts
+appealed to me so much that I begged to be allowed to accompany them,
+deciding to run the small risk such a visit might entail. Hoffman was
+considerably surprised at my proposal, but said I could come at my own
+risk if I thought I had known him long enough to be able to take his
+word. He reminded me, at the same time, that one can easily step over
+a frontier line, intentionally or otherwise, and produced a loaded
+automatic pistol from his coat pocket as if to back up his argument,
+asking me to choose my course of action. For a few seconds I reasoned
+with myself and then accepted, it seeming perfectly obvious that
+Hoffman would never have shown his hand had he intended playing a
+crooked game. Just before starting the innkeeper lent me a civilian
+cap and overcoat, which gave me a sense of security and enabled me to
+set out with the others if not a perfect, at any rate a passable
+Dutchman.
+
+Presently we arrived at a bridge-head, where the Dutch guard turned
+out and saluted, when, it must be confessed, I felt a trifle nervous,
+being then almost on the frontier. The formalities over, we left our
+bicycles in the guardroom and, crossing the bridge, proceeded along
+the tow-path at the side of the canal. There, sure enough, were the
+grey-clad sentries, standing near their boxes along a little raised
+path, at intervals varying from one to two hundred yards. Seeing that
+our presence seemed to occasion considerable interest on the part of
+the sentries, I inquired the reason from one of my companions, and was
+informed that only persons in the company of Dutch officers were
+allowed where we were walking, in the neutral zone dividing the two
+countries. Curiously enough the water dog, whose duty it was to start
+the birds from among the reeds, was English and went by the name of
+"Tom." Fortunately he was very obedient, for had he once crossed
+between the extenuated lines of grey men Tom would have afforded the
+Huns some moving target practice, which in all probability would have
+resulted in his contributing to a sausage machine. I am sure I do not
+know what I should have done if this had happened while I was with the
+party, for Tom, when feeling lonely, used to run straight up to me,
+wagging his stumpy tail and looking up with eyes which so plainly said
+that he was indeed glad to meet a fellow-countryman, for, though
+Dutchmen were kind enough to him, the scent was somewhat different.
+
+Towards the end of the afternoon we came to a place where the frontier
+line gradually converged, running parallel to, and about twenty-five
+yards away from, the canal, just the other side of a dyke at the
+bottom of the embankment. It must have been somewhere here that an
+unseen hand had unconsciously guided me to safety through the darkness
+of the night before. I selected a particularly Hunnish-looking sentry,
+who was standing beside a painted black and white box, with a long,
+wicked-looking and old-patterned bayonet gleaming above his slung
+rifle, and, hailing him casually, remarked that it must be weary work
+doing nothing, and inquired if he was tired of the war, to which he
+replied with a sullen "_Ja_." Undismayed by his dismal expression, I
+inquired if they ever had any escaped prisoners in those parts. This
+time he did not deign to answer, but merely shook his head solemnly.
+By removing my coat I could have easily disillusioned him, but,
+remembering that a rifle bullet is not a thing to be trifled with, I
+refrained.
+
+Feeling my triumph complete, I turned and limped away, still hardly
+able to realise that only a few hours before I had unknowingly paraded
+along the same little raised path which the Germans were so jealously
+guarding. Of all my escapes this was the most inexplicable. To what
+was it due? Certainly not to my own initiative alone. Man's extremity
+is indeed God's opportunity.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+Supreme in the world of red tape, far above the ken of misguided
+mortals, lives an omnipotent being--the Censor. In imagination, he
+sits in a huge armchair, wreathed in tobacco smoke, casually sorting,
+from piles of manuscript, the sheep from the goats. The former are
+destined to be smothered in official stamps and coloured inks, while
+the latter are cast ignominiously into the gigantic waste-paper
+basket. Though this little sheep, in particular, may have a little of
+its wool shorn off, I trust that it may eventually avoid the rubbish
+heap. For this reason I must ask the reader to be contented with a
+very curtailed and disjointed account of the remainder of my
+wanderings.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+In due course I was placed in a quarantine camp, to remain there until
+a given number of days should elapse, when, on being pronounced free
+from infection, I should be allowed to continue my journey through
+Holland. The camp contained a number of German deserters who, it
+appeared, crossed the frontier in this district at the average rate of
+one per diem, having for the most part arrived direct from the front,
+with every intention of leaving their beloved "_Vaterland_" behind for
+ever. They made no secret of the fact that they hoped to be able to
+emigrate to England or America as soon as it was all over. Several of
+them were N.C.O.'s, wearing the black and white ribbon of the Iron
+Cross, to all appearances good soldiers whom their relentless system
+had forced to desertion rather than the terror of the British guns.
+The Germans occupied a separate hut, and were kept strictly to
+themselves. This probably saved a lot of trouble, for, judging by the
+spirited way they occasionally sang "_Deutschland, Deutschland ueber
+alles_," accompanied by an accordion, the spirit of patriotism and
+savage "kultur" still flowed in their veins. Doubtless the first
+German band to return to England will be composed of the most gentle
+peace and beer-loving Huns that ever visited our favoured shores.
+Whatever the nature of the welcome and guarantees extended to them by
+our English "Bolsheviks" (who even now have the audacity to advocate a
+policy of "shake and be friends"), their lives will not be at all
+secure when they come in contact, as they ultimately must, with
+Britishers who have been most brutally treated and forced to work as
+prisoners in the German salt mines, men who have come to know the
+truth of the saying, "Once a Bosch, always a Bosch," during their stay
+of several years in Hunland. I feel genuinely sorry for the very few
+really nice Germans who certainly do exist (several of whom I met
+during my captivity). However, considering that their influence has
+been practically _nil_ in the War, on account of their being in such a
+minority, I suppose they will be bound to suffer with the rest.
+
+The number of escaped French and Russian soldiers was surprising.
+However they must have had many excellent opportunities, while
+working in the fields near the frontier, to cross the dividing line.
+It did not take me long to discover three British privates, who were
+distinctly bored and very pleased to see me. The eldest was a South
+African, escaped from a reprisal camp, while the other two belonged to
+the Warwicks. Though little more than boys they had in all probability
+seen more of the hardships of life than many men of treble their age.
+Great excitement prevailed when, by dint of much cajoling, I managed
+to procure a mandoline from the town, for, though the meals were very
+much looked forward to and enjoyed, the rest of the time passed very
+slowly. It is not easy to play tunes to satisfy the cravings of
+different nationalities at a moment's notice. A few Russians flung
+themselves about to the lilt of some of their rowdiest cake-walks,
+while the "Marseillaise," seeming a universal favourite, was
+repeatedly called for. On the morning of the fourth day three
+weird-looking figures, wearing a queer mixture of ready-made Dutch
+garments, entered the camp with a guard. I could scarcely believe my
+eyes when I recognised some of my former companions at Stroehen. Two of
+them, Captain Harrison, of the Royal Irish, and Lieutenant C. F.
+Templar, 1st Gloucesters (since then, I regret to say, killed in
+action), were "old Contemptibles," having been captured about the
+beginning of the War, while the third, Lieutenant J. Insall, V.C.,
+R.F.C., had been in captivity two years. They had all made many
+previous attempts to escape, and consequently had sampled many German
+prisons, and now at last succeeded. Captain Harrison, I have since
+heard, was again captured, during the German advance in the spring of
+'18, but was fortunately able to regain our lines the same night. Our
+delight at meeting again outside Germany was mutual, and, having so
+many notes to exchange, the time then passed much more rapidly. After
+various communications with the British authorities, we were
+successful at last in getting in touch with the British Minister at
+the Hague, who almost immediately obtained our release from the
+quarantine camp, to the unbounded astonishment of the local Dutch
+magnates.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+Receiving an invitation to visit Sir Walter Townley (British
+Minister), I proceeded to the Hague, freed at last from the annoying
+formality of being continually escorted by an officer or guard.
+Imagine my pleasure at once more sitting down to afternoon tea in an
+English drawing-room. I shall never forget the kind thought and
+solicitude of my hostess, Lady Susan. I almost seemed to be in
+England.
+
+Before catching my train back, I engaged a taxi and tried to see as
+much of the town as possible in the time. The driver understood but
+little of my directions; the sight, however, of a few _guldens_ caused
+him to drive so recklessly that I thought my last hour had come. It
+seemed that we must be leaving the path strewn with luckless victims.
+Arriving at the Palace of Peace, where the nations had so
+unsuccessfully beguiled each other with "smooth words, softer than
+honey," I succeeded in inducing my charioteer to come to a standstill.
+Alighting, a policeman informed me that the building had just been
+closed, but pointed out the highly ornamental metal gates, which, at
+the cost of 40,000 marks, had been presented by the Kaiser Wilhelm a
+few years before the War. Espying on them angels of peace carrying
+palm branches, I could contain myself no longer, so delivered an
+impassioned harangue to the astonished Dutchman on the subject of
+hypocrisy, in a mixture of German, French and Dutch. Presently, seeing
+a large crowd gathering around us, I concluded my remarks with a
+substantial tip, and signalling to "Mynheer Mercury," was once more
+whirled into space.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+The convoy, in formation, steamed through the neutral waters towards
+the open sea. On board were a party of women and children, proceeding
+from Germany to England for repatriation. Several of them must have
+been in Germany an exceedingly long time, for they could only speak
+broken English, while some of the children, having evidently been born
+there, could speak no English at all. Soon the ship began to roll
+gently in response to the ever-increasing swell. As the White Ensign
+fluttered happily from the stern, most of us took advantage of the
+still comparatively calm sea by parading along the deck in company
+with a British commodore, confidently straining our eyes to catch a
+first glimpse of the approaching escort; and it was, unfortunately,
+obvious that every one on board did not share our good spirits. As the
+disconcerting movements of the ship increased, the Anglo-German
+element, pale-faced and dejected, assembled amidships, and forming a
+small, huddled group, hastily commenced to put on their cork jackets
+and life-belts, evidently preparing for the expected impact of the
+dreaded torpedo. Just then, as the look-out, attracted by some specks
+of foam emerging from the grey, misty horizon, signalled that a number
+of ships were fast approaching, they could stand the strain no longer,
+so, breaking into a weird German chant, they wailed disconsolately.
+Could it be that the victorious German fleet, of which they had so
+often heard, was at this very moment bearing down upon us? Perish the
+thought! The specks of white grew larger with alarming rapidity. It
+was not until the British destroyer flotilla was almost on us that we
+could discern, behind each dividing mass of curving foam, the sinister
+and capable grey shapes of Britannia's watch-dogs moving swiftly, in
+perfect harmony with sea and sky. As if inspired by one mind, our
+guardians turned about, and silently taking up their respective
+positions at a reduced speed, they passed with us safely along the
+King's Highway!
+
+
+          THE WHITEFRIARS PRESS, LTD., LONDON AND TONBRIDGE.
+
+
+
+
+                             PHILIP GIBBS
+                        ON THE WAR IN FLANDERS
+
+     I. The Battles of the Somme
+                              6/- net
+
+    II. From Bapaume to Passchendaele
+                              6/- net
+
+   III. Open Warfare         10/6 net
+
+                 London: Wm. Heinemann, 21 Bedford St.
+
+
+
+
+                        _OTHER RECENT VOLUMES_
+
+THE SWORD OF DEBORAH.
+By F. Tennyson Jesse. F'cap 8vo.
+                         3/- net
+
+A woman's account of woman's work in
+France.
+
+THE LOVERS. By Elizabeth
+Robins Pennell. F'cap 8vo.
+                   2/6 net
+
+A true love story of the war.
+
+A DIARY WITHOUT DATES.
+By Enid Bagnold. F'cap 8vo.
+                    2/6 net
+
+"Here is a book that will live on."--_Morning
+Post._
+
+                  London: Wm. Heinemann, Bedford St.
+
+
+
+
+                          Transcriber's Notes
+
+The list of other volumes in the collection has been moved from the
+front of the book to the end.
+
+Obvious typographical errors have been fixed. See the list below for
+details. The original errata in the book has been included.
+
+                             Issues fixed:
+
+page 5--typo fixed: changed 'stacatto' to 'staccato'
+page 25--errata typo fixed: changed 'weis' to 'weiss'
+page 32--spelling normalized: changed 'guard-room' to 'guardroom'
+page 43--errata typo fixed: changed 'balolaika' to 'balalaika'
+page 47--errata typo fixed: changed 'Weiswein' to 'Weisswein'
+page 51--errata typo fixed: changed 'Hammelin' to 'Hameln'
+page 55--errata typo fixed: changed 'Weiswein' to 'Weisswein'
+page 75--typo fixed: changed 'Middlesessex' to 'Middlesex'
+page 103--spelling normalized: changed 'gaolbirds' to 'gaol-birds'
+page 111--spelling normalized: changed 'bathroom' to 'bath-room'
+page 126--typo fixed: changed 'Pupchen' to 'Pueppchen'
+page 127--typo fixed: changed 'farmhouse' to 'farm-house'
+page 152--typo fixed: changed 'Strohen' to 'Stroehen'
+page 159--errata typo fixed: changed 'feasten' to 'fkasten'
+page 165--typo fixed: changed 'Strohen' to 'Stroehen'
+page 167--spelling normalized: changed 'guard-room' to 'guardroom'
+page 171--typo fixed: changed 'uber' to 'ueber'
+page 172--typo fixed: changed 'Strohen' to 'Stroehen'
+
+
+
+
+
+End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of 'Brother Bosch', an Airman's Escape
+from Germany, by Gerald Featherstone Knight
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